And we're not doing it by halves, either, not by a long shot. Australia has won 12 silver medals so far, just one behind America's 13 silvers, and four behind China's 16 silvers, marking us out as being one of the three Silver Superpowers of these Games!

Contemplate that, you Kiwis, with your three gold medals and your miserable lack of a single silver medal to bless yourselves with, and eat your hearts out! As to you Brits, we said we'd beat you in the medal count and we are - who would have thought the host nation could only come up with seven silvers at this stage, just over half the amount that WE have? Yes, yes, yes, you've also got fourteen gold, but they simply don't count like they used to, don't you get it?

For gold is so grasping, so "look-at-me-look-at-me!", so … I don't know … cheap … that it really only fits in when worn late at night in a cocktail lounge where the bar-tender's name is Fabio. But wearing a silver medal makes an entirely different statement to the world, and can be worn any time, any place, anywhere, and get RESPECT.

Wearing silver marks you out as a solid, not flashy, sportsperson; a person who could have won gold if they'd been as egocentric, self-obsessed and - let's face it - prone to CHEATING, as the gold medallist, but upon mature consideration has decided against it.

For the silver medallist would rather have a life, too, to be a beacon for economically sustainable sport; to mentor the bronze medallists of this world and encourage them that one day, they, too, could reach that perfect bridge between the gaudy gold medallist and the sadly tarnished bauble of the third place-getter, and stay there happily ever after.