I would like to first apologize and say that I am horrified with myself for this piece of fiction. I would also like to point out the peer pressure that made me write it. And finally I would like to reccomend you listen to this great fanmix for my new OTP, Corypheus x Inquisitor EDIT: Now with a dramatic reading. EDIT: EDIT: Now with an illustration of Sera narrating this story.

Haven’s defenses are crumbling. The pretender is fighting, trying desperately to save a battle that is already lost. They call her the Herald of Andraste… how quaint. Her efforts are as empty as her title. He would seize Haven, then the Anchor, and then the world.

Riding astride his dragon, Coryphytits descends upon the pitiful remains of Haven. He leaps from the beast and lands in the snow heavily, a wreath of fire the augur of his arrival. As he straightens, he sweeps his malevolent gaze across the ravaged village to find his prey. The Herald.

She is fighting off waves and waves of his minions. She battles like a woman possessed. Her face is a mask of determination, and is smeared with blood and soot. Her attacks arc through the air with grace and precision and—oh no… oh no she’s hot.

Oh shit she saw me. Her eyes flash with fear and then conviction. Oh shit play it cool, play it cool. Coryphyfist steps forward boldly, long strides carrying him along with ease. A wreath of dragonfire crackles harmlessly at his feet. Nice. I bet that looks great. Now to say something cool.

“Enough pretender. You toy with forces beyond your comprehension, but no more.” Oh good going, you couldn’t just lead with something like ‘Hello’?

“Whatever you are, I’m not afraid of you!” Oh damn it, her voice is hot too. Introduce yourself.

“Those words are spoken often, and by many, but they are never true. They were once my words… but no longer. Know what you have pretended to be, know me. Exalt the Elder One, the will that is Coryphybits.” Exalt the Elder One? Oh fucking shit, who says that? Smooth moves, she probably thinks you’re some weirdo now.

She raises her head defiantly, jaw clenched, eyes gleaming in the light of the fire.

“What do you want?” she demands. Oof, you have no idea. Oh shit, focus Coryphypiss. You’re an ancient Tevinter Magister, act like it.

“What I want is not within your power to give. But that will not stop me from taking it.” Nice. She looks like a woman who appreciates a man who knows what he wants. The Herald tilts her head to the side, eyeing him cautiously, curiously. Or is it his imagination? Make a move you idiot. “I am here for the Anchor. The process of removing it begins now.”

Coryphypuss lunges forward and seizes the Herald by the arm. Nice. Holding hands is romantic. Now sweep her off her feet. He lifts her high in to the air, and she yelps in surprise and pain. But even dangling at his mercy, she lifts her gaze to glare at him.

“This is your fault Herald, you—” wait, she was still staring. But her expression has changed… softened. “I… what. Why are you—?” She clears her throat,

“Nothing… sorry I didn’t mean to interrupt—”

“Well if you have something to say–”

“You just have really nice eyes.” Oh fuck. Keep it together Coryphetus, you are thousands of years old. Immortal entities do not blush when someone compliments their eyes. But they do, apparently. Damnation! She’s smiling. She’s noticed the blush. Oh for the love of— “So…” she ventures, the fire in her eyes is a smolder now, “What is this thing? The Anchor? What does it do?”

Awesome, small talk. This is good progress. Time to dazzle her with your intellect. Embellish a little, women like poetry right?

“It… brings certainty where there is none,” he says haltingly. “For you it is the certainty that I would always come—”

“Is that so?” she asks, interrupting with a devilish grin. Wait what? Wh—oh. OH.

“You didn’t let me finish!” Coryphykiss protests.

“Oh don’t worry, I intend to.” Oh.