From the wonderful party that tried to give us “We Forcefully Transvaginal Wand You Because We Care” and the state that almost gave us sodomy-hater Ken Cuccinelli, please give a warm welcome to Virginia state Sen. Richard H. “Dick, Obviously” Black who will be playing the role of Todd Akin this coming election season. Since he is the frontrunner to be the GOP candidate to replace retiring GOP Rep. Frank Wolf in Virginia, let’s take a gander at his CV.

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Dick (we’ll use the more familiar ‘Dick’ for reasons that will soon become apparent) thinks about rape a lot. I mean, whole bunches, like 24/7/365. It’s all just rape rape rape rape rape rape rape rape all the live long day , and not in the “we must do everything possible under the sun to change the rape culture and eradicate this unacceptable wave of violence against women.” He’s more in the “Eh, whaddaya gonna do, right? Women, pfff…” Men’s Rights camp. Let us count the ways:

Exhibit A: As a state legislator, Black opposed making spousal rape a crime, citing the impossibility of convicting a husband accused of raping his wife “when they’re living together, sleeping in the same bed, she’s in a nightie, and so forth.”

and

… once, to demonstrate why libraries should block pornography on their computers, Black invited a TV reporter to film him using a library terminal to watch violent rape porn. […] Black’s first political position was with the Loudoun County Library Board in Northern Virginia, where he wrote a policy blocking pornography on library computers. The move drew national attention. First Amendment litigation against the Loudoun County Library Board struck down Black’s restrictions and wound up costing the county $100,000. During that time period, Loudoun librarians say they only ever received one complaint about porn on their computers—against Black, when he pulled his rape pornography stunt.

and

Black entered politics in the late 1990s after retiring as a military prosecutor. He spoke frequently to media outlets about sexual assault in the military, and called military rape “as predictable as human nature.” “Think of yourself at 25,” Black told a newspaper in 1996. “Wouldn’t you love to have a group of 19-year-old girls under your control, day in, day out?”

…. also, about that wife-raping thing because she was wearing a nightie so she probably had it coming:

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In 2002, as the Virginia general assembly repealed a ban on spousal rape prosecution, Black wondered if it was really possible for a husband to rape his wife. He said changing the law could cause a man “enormous fear of the damage to his reputation” if his wife ever filed a false rape claim.

There are also some bonus non-rapey things that prove that he occasionally thinks about other stuff during his refractory period downtime. Like suggesting that another Columbine could be avoided if we just told the kids to pull up their droopy britches and address their elders as “Ma’am” and “Sir”. Or his referring to emergency contraception as “baby pesticide” (Save the rape babies!). Or there was that time when he tried stop a statue of Abraham Lincoln from being erected at a former Confederate site in Richmond because it was an affront to those who died in the War Against Northern Aggression And Also A Black President In 2008.

Doesn’t he sound fun?

So let us extend our heartfelt congratulations to the GOP on another fine recruiting season. Dick Black looks like he is a keeper and even though he will cause conservatives excruciating pain and shame and embarrassment as he is thrust into the national media limelight over and over again, they should keep in mind that it will all be over soon and they should probably just lie back and enjoy it in the meantime.

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If only because their body politic lacks the ability to shut these kind of things down.

Rape is rape sign (AFP)