Most have heard of the alpha and beta personalities, but not a lot about the sigma male. An enigma all their own, their blending in makes them stand out.

We all know the alpha male, right? He is the one in the corner usually saying something off color or being a rude jerk to impress everyone else and intimidate them into compliance. But, what is the sigma male? The sigma male is an introvert who isn’t introverted as much as just about himself. Not worried about his placement in the pack, he’s cool all on his own.

Who is a sigma male?

The sigma male is hard to pin down specifically because you never really get to know him. That brooding and mysterious nature of his is never revealed because it is exactly what defines him. What goes on in the sigma male’s head is for his head only.

17 characteristics of the sigma male

So, if we aren’t ever to really know a sigma male then how do we know what one is? There are some telltale signs that a guy isn’t just being shy or playing hard to get. He is truly hard to get because he doesn’t want to be gotten.

He doesn’t try to have anyone follow him, quite the opposite. He wants people to back off. These are the things that almost all sigma males have in common, but it doesn’t define them, nothing ever will.

#1 You don’t want to be top dog, you don’t really even want to be part of the pack. You aren’t like the other guys in a group vying to be top dog. You really don’t want to be. In fact, the very thought someone wants to follow you makes you uncomfortable. And, the mere mention that you would follow someone else, just ain’t happening. [Read: Weak men and strong men – 13 opposing traits that split them apart]

#2 You rebel against what you are supposed to do and be, just ‘cause you can. Conformity is your kryptonite. You are a rebel for no other reason than you can be, so why not. A true hater of anything popular or “in,” you make sure to be yourself, which sometimes comes across to other guys as quirky. To girls, it is very sexy.

#3 Just as powerful as the alpha, you don’t feel the need to prove it to anyone but yourself. Sigmas aren’t followers, and they could be leaders if that is the road they chose, but it isn’t. The sigma male is a powerful personality and isn’t altered by anyone, or what they think of them. They are just fine doing their own thing and couldn’t care less who is in charge. [Read: 30 alpha male characteristics that make any man a real alpha]

#4 Sigmas live their life in silence, but it is golden. Sigma males have a very limited amount of things to say. If they do say something, you best listen up, because it probably means something. A man of very, very few words, silence is your stance. You aren’t going to call attention to yourself by voicing any opinion about anything. It isn’t anyone else’s business.

#5 You are the James Dean without a cause, literally. You are the hot guy that comes to town to buck the system and take all the hot girls. But, it isn’t your fault. You don’t even want them to think you are amazing. A rebel is very attractive to girls who look for a bad boy. But the bad boy is just because you aren’t going to be told what to do, not because you are “bad.”

#6 You are highly attractive to women but don’t really care or notice. Yep, the shy, silent type, women find you mysterious and absolutely have to figure out what is going on in that head of yours.

But, the thing is that you aren’t ever going to let them in. What is attractive on the outside isn’t so much fun when you never give in or let your mysteriousness fade or your silence turn into idle chatter. [Read: Do girls love shy and brooding guys who don’t make a first move?]

#7 People consider you intellectual and intelligent. You are the definition of both book and street smart, but you play it off like you are all street. You know just about everything about everything. When you talk, people listen, because you never do, and when you do, it is typically worthwhile and valuable.

#8 You loathe social norms and expectations. You aren’t the beta who sets yourself apart by being outside the group. You aren’t the alpha because you don’t want anyone to follow you and what you really hate most is when someone puts expectations on who or what you are “supposed” to be.

You do what you want, when you want and care less about what people think about it. Norms are boring and controlling, and that isn’t what you are all about.

#9 You are usually on the dark side of the morally gray areas. You have a tendency to get into trouble no matter if you try or don’t try. Because you don’t think the rules apply to you, you do things that you aren’t supposed to and are sometimes illegal because you think you are above the law. [Read: How to be a badass in 25 awesomely bad ways]

#10 You have a disdain for rules because they are meant to keep you down and powerless. Rules have no purpose but to hold you down and make you conform. You believe people should have the freedom to make their own choices regardless of what society or the law says. That doesn’t go so well with being a part of the group or community.

#11 You like to blend in, not stand out. You aren’t aiming to stand out or be a loner, that is just what you are because of your personality style. You blend into the background and disappear, but because you are highly attractive due to your mysterious nature, blending just isn’t that easy.

#12 No slave to fashion, you abhor it. You aren’t taken by trends. You think they are senseless and wearing them makes you a sell-out. You would rather wear an old t-shirt and jeans than to be a slave to some button-down shirt or some stupid suit and tie. [Read: The awesome omega male and why he’s so much better than the alpha]

#13 You have out-of-the-norm interests and sometimes exhibit eccentric behaviors. Not like most people, you have unusual interests and tastes, which sometimes come across as weird and can negate you from blending into the group. Academically, you like things that aren’t that interesting to others.

#14 You don’t belong to a social group but drift in and out of them, but never belong to any. You go from greaser to nerd to totally cool, but you always stand on the outskirts looking in. No matter how comfortable you become with a group, you aren’t ever going to belong. That is why you are so mysterious because you can’t be defined by the people you hang out with, they come and go too quickly.

#15 You are an instigator. You like to start trouble. Whether it is making fun of someone to get them going or pitting one person against another, you like to make trouble where you can. The more conflict, the better. Once you start it, you back out and sit and watch the shit-show.

#16 Your refusal to conform subjects you to criticism and ridicule. Because you can’t be bothered by trying to be liked, you open yourself up to being made fun of. Groups of guys don’t like when you don’t want to join and adore them. If you can’t join them, they have no problem beating you up emotionally. [Read: How to be a man the way he really should be]

#17 You adapt only to get what you want and then are done with it. The only time you are okay with conformity is when you get something out of it. It isn’t conforming if you pretend, just to use someone, at least that is your thought process.

[Read: All the subtle differences between a confident and arrogant man]

A loner who drifts in and out of groups, no one is going to define you or accept you, sigma male. But that is okay, because you are totally okay with it.