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The Portuguese saying ‘Mais vale pão duro que nenhum’ roughly translates as ‘Better an egg today than a hen tomorrow’.

I discovered this shortly after typing “egg on your face in Portuguese” into Google, which responded with a picture of Pedro Caixinha.

The Rangers boss declared this week that Aberdeen are “coming to the end of their cycle” in second place.

It’s an interesting theory, but one that he was reluctant to discuss with Derek McInnes after Aberdeen recorded their first win against Rangers at Ibrox since 1991.

McInnes insisted Rangers should be “embarrassed” to have finished behind his side, as the two managers became embroiled in the most unsavoury war of words since James Forrest and Liam Henderson’s infamous alphabet spaghetti brawl of 2015.

As well as attracting the ire of noted wallflowers Chris Sutton and Neil Lennon, Caixinha’s comments inspired Charlie ‘Well maybe you should go also then Jeff because eh, you couldn’t see driving home the other night because you’ve, you don’t even wear your glasses in, in eh TV in case you get eh, you get slagged off so, you just eh you just stick to Specsavers and I’ll do the game’ Nicholas to form two coherent sentences in a row.

The renowned grammar-phobe told Sky Sports News viewers that “They’ve got a manager who’s just walked in and thinks he owns our country, telling everybody what to do”.

Aside from anything else, if the country does indeed now belong to Charlie Nicholas it would go some way to explaining our declining literacy rates.

The Dons were reduced to 10 men late on as Jayden Stockley saw red, presumably for having a name like a BBC Sound of 2014 runner-up who covers Rihanna songs with an acoustic guitar.

His team-mates held on, however, as an insipid performance from the home team brought their sensational run of two wins in a row to an end.

A rare highlight for the home side came as a Rangers fan caught the ball and promptly ran out of the stadium with it, showing a degree of innovation and determination sorely lacking in his team.

As those masochist fans who remained until full time trudged out of the stadium, Aberdeen supporters serenaded them with cries of “You’re f****** s***”.

Given the bitterness that matches between these two sides often descend into, it was refreshing to hear Aberdeen fans offer such a restrained review of a Rangers performance that experts have confirmed was in fact “Extremely f****** s***”.

Kelvin Wilson this week became the latest Parkhead alumni to be linked with Lennon’s Hibs revolution, with the defender potentially set to join fellow Lennon-era Celtic fixtures Efe Ambrose, Liam Henderson and petulant touchline antics.

“Look, I know what you’re all saying about the volume of former Celtic players we’ve signed, but we’re our own club with our own identity” insisted Lennon, before ending the press conference, draining his pint and walking out of the Brazen Head.

Wilson told reporters that beating Barcelona remains the pinnacle of his career, prompting some head-scratching among his potential Hibs team-mates, many of whom hadn’t heard about Celtic beating Barcelona for over 12 minutes.

Partick ‘Ubiquitous Chip’ Thistle were put to the sword on Thursday night by Leigh ‘Savoy Saturdays’ Griffiths.

The striker opened the scoring from the spot with Celtic’s 100th goal of the season, then set up Tom Rogic for the second after slicing through the Jags defence like a hot knife through Waitrose Duchy Organic English salted butter.

There was disappointment for Celtic fans as the comfortable 5-0 victory robbed them of an excuse for a dramatic late pitch invasion, but Thistle fans couldn’t contain themselves and spilled onto the turf with excitement after watching their heroes string three passes together.

Either that or they’d just remembered there’s a new season of Twin Peaks coming soon.