Slapdash sanitation brings naked sushi shop to a sickening stop

The consumption of morsels of sushi from atop a naked female’s stomach is referred to as nyotaimori.

There’s been some skepticism as to whether such dining facilities actually exist in this day and age. Well, at least one did. According to Nikkan Gendai (May 23), it opened for business in Shinjuku’s Kabukicho entertainment district in June 1998, and immediately caused a stir.

Unfortunately a bit too much of the stirring took place in customers’ hiatal sphincters and lower bowels, as it seems such dauntless dining demands a cast-iron constitution.

The shop, which opened after securing a bank loan of 20 million yen, operated according to the 40-40 system. First came all the sushi the customer could consume within 40 minutes. This was followed by 40 minutes of being sexually serviced by a female employee. The damages for this double delight came to 30,000 yen.

That price appealed to the mid-level corporate types wining and dining customers on their expense accounts.

But sadly, salmonella reared its ugly head. Perhaps it was the prolonged contact of the sushi with the women’s bodies, which warmed it up. Fresh fish, as is well known, spoils easily.

Or perhaps the contamination was caused by the customers themselves. It seems some wielded vibrators to stimulate the female staff’s vaginas and then, after making them suitably lubricious, seasoned the sushi by slipping them over the secreting slits before popping the morsels into their mouths — a surefire way of inviting bacterial infection.

One journalist who reviewed the shop at the time even used his tongue to compare the flavors of the woman’s akagai (ark shell) with an actual Anadara broughtonii.

Before complaints from violently ill patrons could bring down the wrath of the metropolitan board of health, the owner decided to close the shop.

He blamed the loss of his customer base on a rival shop, the notorious Loulan no-panty shabu-shabu restaurant — where as opposed to fish consumed raw, the beef was boiled right at the table, thereby alleviating concerns over germs.

“I suppose I got out while the getting out was good,” the shop’s former owner tells Nikkan Gendai. “But I think if I had opened the shop one year earlier than I did, it would have really made me some money.”

Source: “‘Taion’ ni maketa nyotaizushi no higeki,” Nikkan Gendai (May 23, page 28)