(Image: Associated Press)

In an attempt to one-up Michael Jordan’s success with the Toon Squad, Dennis Rodman will be traveling to North Korea to spend the week training their national basketball team.

Some people say this is an un-wise decision, seeing as how the media spouted with terror and questions when Kim had his uncle and #2 guy, Jang Song Thaek, executed just last week. I might think that’s enough reason to call-in-sick, but not Dennis Rodman. But you have to think, if Kim Jong Un could do that to family, might Rodman be in danger?

Of course not! Dennis Rodman is the coolest, flyest bestie Kim’s ever had! And without Rodman, how will North Korea complete phase one of world domination: use aliens to suck all the powers out of NBA stars and create a Monstar..er.. superstar team of ballers!

Jokes aside, Rodman does consider Kim a close friend, and this trip had apparently been planned long ago to train the national team. Rodman also has organized a North Korean birthday exhibition extravaganza to celebrate Kim’s birthday in January, complete with a roster of former pro-NBA players. The players’ names have not yet been released.

And I usually just ask my friends for beer on my birthday.

Last week, Rodman said the following to the Associated Press:

“Yes, I’m going to North Korea to train the basketball team. I’m going to bring American players over there. Yes I am. I’m going to be the most famous person in the world when you see American people holding hands and hoping the doors can be opened. If they can. If they can. If they can. I’m going. I’m going back for his birthday. Special.”

So there you have it. It doesn’t always get worse for ex-NBA stars. Just pick up a side-gig with Hulk Hogan in the WWE, get burned by Donald Trump on Celebrity Apprentice (twice), and then direct a live-performance of the movie Space Jam for a militaristic ruler’s birthday.

Full disclosure: I’m a Dennis Rodman fan, and I really wanted him to make it to the finals in Celebrity Apprentice All-Stars.