Cookie Monster should stop looking for his wife near Oscar’s can and instead head over to NYC’s One Lucky Duck vegan eatery.

According to the New York Post, the manager there claims a woman has tried to rob him of his vegan, organic cookies twice during the past month. Arriving on a scooter, the woman first hit him with her foot-powered vehicle and then tried to spray him with Mace.

These gingerbread cookies she is after must be good, because the last time she attempted to steal them, she yelled, “F*ck you! I’ll be back every day! You can count on it,” before escaping.

What We Like: The use of non-motorized vehicle as the getaway instrument. An idling getaway car wastes gas and puts toxic emissions into the air.

What We Hate: Stealing is never cool, especially from establishments that are trying to do the right thing by providing, animal and earth-friendly goods. Reward these places by paying for your cookies before taking off on your scooter.

It’s your choice whether or not to use profanity to indicate you’ll be a returning customer.

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