Question

Dear Gramps,

I have been struggling with pornography for quite some time. I first discovered it around age 10 and had a couple of instances with it. I found out it was bad and didn’t touch it for a few years. Then, at about 14, I viewed some of it. After confessing to my bishop I got rid of the habit. I’m 17 now and for the past few months I have been struggling with viewing immoral pictures and videos. Usually it’s just to view slightly sensual things but it almost always ends up with seeing at least one bare part. I talked with my bishop about two weeks ago and he gave me directions for staying away from it. This past week has been the hardest for me, I have been constantly struggling with viewing and not viewing material. I have overcome the temptation a lot of the times, but I have lost too. Today I gave in to it and now I feel so dark and hopeless. I can’t talk to my parents because they’ll be too disappointed in me like they have been. I don’t know what to do with myself. I always find good scripture references but they never last me long. I feel like my prayers are hollow, even when I’m trying my hardest to communicate. I do get answers back but the comfort helps me against one temptation or two before I’m sliding down the slippery slope again. What am I to do?

Someone In Need

Answer

Dear Someone,

Of course you realize that viewing pornography is not just a temptation, it is an addiction.. So your tactics to deal with it must include that concept. The recovering alcoholic cannot tolerate one drink, for the alcohol creates its own need. It’s the same with pornography. The rationalization is, “I’ll just look at one picture, that’s all.” But it takes only one picture to get hooked. So how badly do you want to get of this addiction? In other words, what are you willing to do to get over it?

Here are a couple of suggestions. Have you ever viewed pornography with someone else in the room with you? I thought not. Make yourself a firm, unalterable decision that you will never turn the computer on unless someone else is in the room with you. “But,” you say, “I have need to be on the computer for my school work.” Tough! Make arrangements to do your computer school work with someone else who needs a computer to do his school work, and get together.

I’ll tell you one thing, you can never get over this habit if you refuse to inconvenience yourself. So here’s a more drastic step. Get rid of your computer. Compare the worth of your computer with the value of a clean mind and a clear conscience, and you will quickly learn which is of greatest worth to you

The next approach would be the most effective of all, and the most easy to implement, but perhaps the most difficult to set in motion. Bring your parents into the picture. I know that you’re embarrassed to let them know what you’ve been doing, but there’s no need to be specific. You could say to them something like, “Look folks, I’m still tempted a bit with this pornography thing, and I really don’t want to have anything to do with it, so will you help me? This is what I suggest. I’ll always keep the door to my room open, and would you drop by from time to time and peek in, just to make sure I’m not viewing that stuff?” I’ll bet with that arrangement you would never put yourself in a position for such an embarrassing encounter.

Gramps