“When we think and feel in the same ways for most of our lives and memorize familiar states of being, our internal chemical state keeps activating the same genes, meaning we keep making the same proteins.” Dr. Joe Dispenza

I often wonder what all these emotional states are trying to tell me. I can usually figure out why I am sad or overwhelmed or elated, but the one I am trying to decipher is anxiety. I think I have good reason to be anxious mind you. As the widowed, single parent of three kids trying to figure out how to exist in the world after life altering circumstances, I’m certainly not hallucinating about my situation.

However, I do think my mind has a tendency to go a little overboard.

I recently heard that anxiety is the state generated when you are most near your heart’s desire, but not in vibrational resonance with it. I think this is a beautiful concept and in some cases, it makes sense, but in others when my belly feels like a hive of angry bees, I simply can’t relate.

A few year’s ago, Xanax was an extremely effective tool when my heart felt as though it might beat its way out of my chest. The anxiety was fear based, because my world had been decimated in a matter of moments. But now it seems different. It is more of a paralyzing, intermittent feeling of overwhelm that culminates in my lower belly, more than my heart.

I’ve spent quite a bit of time engaging with my anxiety, at times trying to shoo it away and others gently exploring its message. It reminds me of the dust in my house — no matter how much I wipe down the furniture, it always seems to return. So, I am making an earnest attempt at managing this state of being which, like a needy child, seems to want my attention.

Here are two suggestions I want to share if you find yourself under anxiety’s spell:

I had a major breakthrough in thinking about this anxiety state when reading the book Breaking the Habit of Being Yourself, by Dr. Joe Dispenza. In it he says:

“Warning: when feelings become the means of thinking, or if we cannot think greater than how we feel, we can never change. To change is to think greater than how we feel. To change is to act greater than the feelings of the memorized self.”



In essence, we have to un-memorize the self and the way we have learned to navigate the world. I realized that anxiety is my natural state, one that I created years ago in response to my environment, because my mother was a very unpredictable woman. One never knew when the shoe might drop. As a result, I am still living in a state of anticipating that moment, even though she passed away.

Anytime things get dicey (and even when they aren’t), my body ushers in the familiar cascade of anxiety chemicals to keep me on alert, just like when I was a child. Now, through very directed meditation in the book, I am learning to deconstruct all of this.

The most important thing I have realized is that breaking this habit of allowing anxiety to hijack my body takes practice. For most of us, the mind-body connection has been running unchecked for most of our lives; interrupting and changing this relationship requires gentle persistence.

On the physical level, I have experienced a noteworthy sense of spacious calm since I started taking L-theanine and GABA. I wish I had known about these two wonder amino-acids during the traumatic roller coaster ride. I noticed a slight difference in the first few days of use, but after about ten days there was a dramatic difference. There is great information on the internet about dosages. I started out too low and saw no results, so do your research and experiment carefully.

I also take fish oil and this video featuring Christa Orrechio explains the reasons why we should all be indulging in this brain-enhancing wonder ingredient.

Have you found effective methods to manage your anxiety (or are you one of the lucky ones who doesn’t suffer)? I would love to hear how you tame your anxiety monster.

-db

Who is Dianna Bonny?

Hi, my name is Dianna Bonny. It’s my mission to candidly share my journey with you. For me, it’s all about the healing: to create a radiant healing energy for others who have befallen a similar fate. Together, we can forge beautiful lives of belonging and connection. Thanks for joining me today! I look forward to hearing from you.