1. Of Course, There Are No Rules to Being an Original

Let’s get right to the point—being an original and follow-ing rules? That doesn’t quite add up, does it? Pharrell? Steve Jobs? Elon Musk? Friggin’ Karl Ove Knausgaard? You’re right: These guys achieved greatness precisely because they broke the rules.

But here’s the thing: Just as all great artists need to know the rules in order to break them, no true individual becomes one on his own. He listens. He learns. Whether you call it advice, insights,mantras, rules, let’s agree—there are words of wisdom that will set you apart from the drones.

Kevin Sweeney

And isn’t that what we all seek these days, more than ever? Aren’t we all nauseous from the digital dump of crap we’ve chosen to ingest? We thought we were tapping into a wider world of inspiration. Instead, we’ve been scammed and come away feeling crappy about ourselves because we’re stupidly trying to achieve someone else’s filtered, falsified, portrait-mode picture of “perfection.”

Here’s what I know: You’re never going to be a leader—of yourself, first and foremost—if you don’t seek to stand apart. If you don’t seek out your individuality.



There, that’s a rule.



And that’s what we’re talking about here. Values. Lessons. Knowledge that can be codified and, if you are so inclined, taken as commandments for better living. Rules that will remind you that in being your own man, you will inspire other men to be their best selves. —Michael Hainey

2. But It Helps to Have Some Advice to Get You Started...

3. Trends are the enemy of individuality

4. Never buy an entire outfit in one shopping spree. And never, ever buy it all from the same store.

5. Always wear at least one thing that's older than you are. It gives you perspective. (See rules 20-27.)

6. Individuality is never about the labels on your clothes. It's about how you style them.

7. If someone can tell who made your clothes by looking at you, go and change. Immediately.

8. "Shoes are the key to understanding a person." —Massimo Piombo, designer

9. Make the Classics Your Own

Touitou, J. Getty Images

My father gave me this Rolex when I was 15. The bracelet was another gift.

After my wife made me sell my Porsche (she thinks I drive too fast), a friend sent it as a consolation.

He calls it a“watchless Rolex.”—Jean Touitou, founder, A.P.C.

Courtesy

10. Show Up and Show Out

“Variety is, indeed,the spice of life. It governs my choices as an actor. And when it comes to fashion, I vowed a longtime ago that if I had the opportunity to be on the red carpet, I would not be one of a sea of penguins, watching the girls have all the fun. If I’m invited, I might as well show up and show out.”—David Oyelowo, actor

Oyelowo, D. August Images

11. Go With Your Gut (Unless Your Friends Tell You Not To)

Jenkins, B. Getty Images

The periods in my career that have been stagnant usually coincided with moments when I wasn’t leaning in. When I wasn’t operating from my gut, when I was more operating in response to industry expectations. It’s when I’ve decided to work purely from instinct that things have turned out well.

I’ve gotten good at recognizing when something I wanna do is ridiculous. I’ve known my closest collab-orators for a long time, so there’sa sounding board I can trust. I’mexploring things. Sometimes youfind things that are great and some-times you find out things are shit.The only way you can figure it out is bytesting it. —Barry Jenkins, director

12. Steal Like An Artist

Hall in his design studio Wikkie Hermkens

“The artists in the Bloomsbury Group are very inspiring to me. They didn’t draw a line between art and design, and I’ve always appreciated people who apply their aesthetic to lots of different mediums.”

—Luke Edward Hall, interior designer

13. Have the Brains to Ask for Help

by AXEL VERVOORDT

In 1961, I was 14 when I went to England for the first time alone on a buying trip. I had some money because I was already working and had done some business. My plan was to buy some pieces that I could resell when I returned to Antwerp. I went to private sales in great houses in Ipswich. I visited attics full of stuff, and everything I saw was pure discovery.

How did I know what to buy? It was then as it is now: I bought what I liked. I bought things that were beautiful and interesting if I could afford them. I followed my intuition. I bought objects that required study, a process that would eventually lead to knowledge.

Mick Jagger and fellow Rolling Stone Ron Wood, 1976. Alamy

It must have looked strange that a 14-year-old Flemish boy was climbing into attics to look for treasures, but I was thrilled. In my twenties, I made a name for myself by showing people how to live with things. The roots of my discoveries came from hunting around England as a teenager traveling alone.

I returned home from my very first trip with heavysuitcases.

I showed my parents the treasures that I had found. My mother invited her friends for afternoon tea so they could see everything, too.

Within days, everything was sold.

This was the start of dozens of trips I took in my youth. From then on, I returned to England during school vacations and whenever I had free time. At the end of the 1950s and early 1960s, many antiques were coming on the market from the great country houses. I came home from trips totally weighed down. I had bags strapped to my back. Sometimes I would carry a table or a couple of chairs in my arms.

I used the profits from each sale to go back to England and hunt for new material. I saved as much as I could to improve my trade. Sometimes, if I thought something was too expensive, or if I didn’t think I had the cash to spare, I called my mother.

She eliminated doubts and encouraged me.“If you love it, buy it. That’s all that matters.” As I took trips to England and built the foundation for my life, I learned about the value of money. I was careful with the profits I earned and tried to save as much as I could.

My buying trips continued over the years. But at a certain moment in my teens, I thought there was a chance I could become a horse dealer like my father. But then one day he said to me, “You’re not passion-ate about horses like I am.”

“I won’t give you the money,” he said. “I’ll lend it to you.”

Perhaps it’s Freudian, but I struggled against my father. I wanted to do everything different than he did, and maybe that’s what he saw. I was discovering my passion, realizing the potential, and setting out to prove it to my family and myself.

In the end, I see clearly now that I do many things the same way that my father did. In many ways, we never understood each other. During my late teens, he wanted me to go to university and study economics. I wanted to grow my business.

“You have to study and get a job so that you canearn enough money to be a collector if that’s whatyou want,” my father said. He didn’t realize that was what I was doing all along. When I was 18, I went to a party in London. There was a lot of electricity in the room. Members of the nobility were there, including the daughter of the Duke and Duchess of Bedford. Their Woburn Abbey had opened to the public about ten years before, to help offset heavy taxes and restoration costs.They were selling some possessions and I had the opportunity to buy great pieces.

I needed much more money than I had. Up until then, my budget had come only from the profits from previous sales—there wasn’t enough for expensive things. For the Woburn pieces, I hesitated to ask my father for help, but I had no choice. I told him I needed money. I explained it would take me further than I’d ever been.

“I won’t give you the money,” he said. “I’ll lend it to you.”

He explained the terms.

I had to pay the interest on everything I borrowed from him. I had to pay him back in installments on the 15th of every month. I accepted.

Scene from a ball held at Woburn Abbey, 1957. Getty Images

From that day, for the first several years as I built my life, I never had to ask a bank for loans. My father supported me, but he was there, waiting for every cent in return.

If I was on vacation or away from the country on the 15th, I paid before I left. I was never allowed to be late. I knew that if I broke the terms, he would stop the loans.

The first picture I bought from Woburn Abbey is one I have always treasured. It’s a portrait attributed to Thomas Gainsborough of one of the daughters of George III. I see this painting every day that I’m home. When I think of my father now, I realize that back then he had begun to remove the barriers in my path as I looked to the future. Bit by bit, he built a bridge.

Axel Vervoordt is an interior designer and collector. This essay is part of his new book, Stories and Reflections, out now from Flammarion.

14. When Playing Sports, You Should Always Have the Right Gear, But Your Clothes Should Be Slightly Off

15. EVOLVE

Do you really want to have the same haircut in middle age that you had in middle school?

Beckham, D. 1997, 2018. Getty Images

16. Pick a Color That Works for You—Then Go All Out

Brown, J. 1967 Jean Marie Périer

17. There Are No Mistakes (Only Experiments)

Stewart, R. Getty Images

As a teenager, I’d go to my father’s garment factory and try things on. At that age, I would wander around in tartan trousers a lot because I love tartan. I thought, If you can wear a pair of plain blue trousers or a pair of tartan trousers, surely every day you’d choose the tartan because it’s so much more fun.

Do I wear tarta ntrousers today? No, I don’t. I was experimenting then, and for me that was important. Looking back, I can see that a lot of that stuff didn’t suit me. But having made the mistakes as a teenager—not that I would call them mistakes—you’re distilling what works for you and what doesn’t work.—Michael Hill, co-owner, Drake’s

18. Protect the Unit

Wright, J. Getty Images

My family has shaped me almost entirely. I’m my mother’s son, and she had a vision of what I should be capable of. She provided the means to nurture whatever it was that would become my actualized self. My grandfather was the closest thing I had to a father growing up; he was enormously inspirational. He is in some ways a small-town, country-days man—a touch-stone of masculinity and humor and selflessness. He was all man to me.

There was a deeper level of discovery that came the moment my son’s head crowned at birth. My children have taught me as much as I’ve tried to teach them. My daughter, particularly, has taught me a new level of appreciation for what it is to be female, what it is to be a woman, and about my relationship to femininity and women. —Jeffrey Wright, actor

19. Look Beyond Your Discipline

“Cinematographers paint with light. Jack Cardiff was one of the great colorists, which is what drew me to him. Black Narcissus with Deborah Kerr was extraordinary. He would draw from Caravaggio and Vermeer—the dark light in their paintings. These people are coming from craft and tradition, and I like that. It’s had a huge impact on my life as an artist.” —Max Vadukul, photographer

A still from Black Narcissus Alamy

20-27. Balance Modern and New with Vintage and Legacy

20. Buying vintage military gear is not an excuse for going about dressed up like Rambo. For me it’s about liberating great functional design from someone else’s attic and blending it in with your day-to-day clothes. If you’re up for some online hunting, there is treasure to be had. But it takes patience. Here’s how to get started.

21. Research. Know what you’re looking for. The proper search term helps narrow the field immensely. The vintage canvas bag here was once owned by Brigadier William R. Cox, DSO, of the Worcestershire Regiment. I found him on Google. He was a brigadier at the time of the queen’s coronation in June 1953—and even had the distinction of leading the infantry contingent out of WestminsterAbbey after the ceremony. This is backstory. The bag you bought at Target won’t have one.

A brigadier’s canvas bag the author bought on eBay for $50. Kevin Sweeney

22. Wait. Don’t just buy the first one you see. There’ll be another one along soon. And it’ll be more interesting.

23. Read the listing. And read it thoroughly. Check the pictures for broken zippers missing buttons, or a belt that’s MIA. Ensure it’s not a reproduction, or made for reenactments. You’d be amazed how helpful listings can be.

24. Go deep. Often, the best source for something is through the country where it was originally worn. Looking for a French naval raincoat? How would it be listed in French? Try eBay.fr before eBay.com. Theoretically, every listing gets aggregated, but I swear I’ve hit richer veins by going local.



25. Keep an open mind. The best discoveries surface when you’re looking for something else. Don’t brush them off. If the price is right, what have you got to lose?

26. Get used to disappointment. It might smell, or have a weird stain. It might not fit. That’ll just teach you to look more closely next time.

27. Think like a designer. You may want to add, or subtract. I bought two Swiss-army work shirts online. The first was too small, the second was just right, and the first provided two extra patch pockets to enhance the second. Total cost: $47, for a jacket that would cost $1,000 in some boutique. —Nick Sullivan

28. Create Your Own Language

Cho, M. Jon Huang

Clothing is a language, a visual language. And it’s one that you can learn and develop and use to express yourself as accurately as possible. What do you want to say about yourself? Your clothing should say that perfectly, so when someone looks at you, they’re like, That is the most Mark Cho clothing possible. If you just chase what’s aesthetically pleasing, I don’t think you’ll necessarily get to that goal. You really have to know what your clothing needs to do for you. —Mark Cho, cofounder, the Armoury

29. Your Off-Duty Look Should Never Be an Afterthought

30. Find Pieces That Tell a Story

Trends aren’t something I follow. It’s more about being true to myself. I come from a tight-knit Indian family and community within the more diversecontext of London. I have always straddled the line between my rich culture, my heritage, and the greater metropolis.

My jewelry represents my memories, relationships, and who I am. Jewelry has always been a part of my culture and something I have worn from avery young age. My collection has grown over the years and includes pieces that reflect my faith, travels, and aspirations as well as gifts from those closest tome. It is my armor and the manifestation of my journey through life. —Mayur Ghadialy, headmen’s-wear designer, Missoni

31. Let Your Jewelry Draw Them In.

Mayur Ghadialy

The Originality Hall of Fame

Don't copy them. Be inspired by them.

Clockwise from top left: Pharrell Williams, Wes Anderson, David Bowie, Andy Warhol, RuPaul, Donald Glover, Joe Strummer, Keith Richards, Walt Frazier, Tyler the Creator, Bill Cunningham, Kurt Cobain. .

32. Remember: Fitting In Is More Trouble Than It's Worth, Anyway

by COLM TÓIBÍN

A few years ago, I went for a walk around the reservoir in Central Park in New York with the son of a friend of mine, a young man who knows more than I do about many matters. Having given him some suggestions about books he might read, I asked him if he had any suggestions to give to me.

“Yes. You should wear only black and white. No more colors.”

“Not even navy blue?”

“Especially not navy blue!”

Getty Images

“Why?” I asked.

“Can I speak frankly?” he replied.

“What is the alternative?”

“There is no alternative. You are too old for navy blue.”

“What about socks?”

“Unless you are Italian, you must wear socks that no one notices. Are you Italian?”

“I have never been Italian in my life.”

“Then black socks. But not big black woolly ones. However, there is one good brand of striped socks where the stripe is subtle. They are made by Muji. But don’t overdo them.”

“Can I wear a gray suit rather than a blacksuit? Come on, give me a break!”

“As long as it’s gray, as near to charcoal asyou can find.”

“What are the best brands?”

“For you? Theory, maybe, or Zegna. But no double-breasted. And with a white shirt.”

“And a black tie as well?”

“Your neck is all wrong for any sort of ties. No ties. Do you work in business?”

“No.”

“Are you running for election?”

“Me?”

“So no ties at all unless you can help it. And please try to help it. For all our sakes.”

“Shoes?”

“Plain black. No shiny shoes or anything fancy.”

Christopher DeLorenzo

“What should I wear on my head?”

“A black woolly cap that covers your ears. Buy it on the side of the street in New York. And you want to know the most important thing of all?”

“Yes.”

“Never wear baseball caps. Never! Even if playing baseball.”

“I don’t know how to play baseball.”

Brooks Brothers

“I can imagine. But you heard me, didn’t you? No baseball caps. Anyone who wears one looks like a suspect. In Ireland, I am sure, that’s fine. In Ireland, everyone looks like a suspect, but it won’t help you in New York.”

“Underpants?”

“Brooks Brothers. Buy the most expensive ones in sets of three or six. Don’t buy cheap underpants. Someone will find out. They will know by looking at you.”

“Where should I buy white shirts?”

“Also Brooks Brothers. Just plain, dull Brooks Brothers.”

“Is that not just for overweight business-men?”

“It is for you. And make sure the shirts are cotton and don’t be tempted to buy one with stripes. No blue. Okay? No blue! If one of the assistants asks if you need help, say yes. They always give good help.”

“Should I buy suits from them?”

“Buy suits anywhere. But get the alterations done by the tailor at Bon French Cleaners at 2881 Broadway and 112th in New York. He is the best. He can make a suit that you swim in look like it was made for you.”

“Can I mention your name when I go there?”

“No, just tell him what you want. And he will do it. You don’t need an introduction.”

“How do you know all this?”

“Everyone knows all this.”

“How come I don’t?”

“You write too many books and spend too much time in libraries. You should get out more.”

33. Change the Game (and Write Your Own Rules)

Think of guys like James Dean or Steve McQueen. Then forget about them and get yourself a more interesting style icon. Like Man United legend George Best here. But not him. He’s ours.

Best, G. PA Images

34. Remember Your Roots, Then Grow

Theodore, O. The Sartorialist

Style starts with the items that you’re attracted to, the things that you research. Why are you ultimately drawn to a pair of pants, or to a shirt, to a sweater? I balance contemporary and vintage and antiques in my environment, in my life—and why is that? I have a degree in history; I went to art school. My mother did the same thing. It goes back to the roots.

As I evolve, I realize that my message is still the same, but there are different ways for me to spread that message. More subtle ways. Now I try to wear a lot less color, and I’m playing with texture and fit. I’m trying to express who I really am without having to say it in so many words. It’s poetry versus essays.

—Ouigi Theodore, founder, Brooklyn Circus

35. Strike Out from Your Tribe

Feig, P. Getty Images

My parents were very religious, and I was afraid of everything. My dad was very judgmental about things that he didn’t understand, and it was a natural instinct for me to do the same. Eventually, I said, “Oh, I don’t want to be that person who is scared of everything.” So I started asking: What’s making me have this reaction?

I started to realize it’s just this weird intolerance that we all have. There’s nothing that makes me crazier than to hear somebody my age or even younger going, “Oh! Rap music,” or getting down on some other genre. That’s all crap? Really? Have you listened to it? Have you really given it a shot?

Intolerance of any sort is something we have to fight. It’s our default setting in the brain, because we’re raised in our little tribes or whatever: You stick with your group; the outsider is a threat. But that doesn’t count anymore. That’s why I love cities, because they’re melting pots. You’re around everything. All culture, all ideas.

—Paul Feig, director

36. Black Is Boring*

*Unless you're getting married of buried.

Bowien, D. Shutterstock

37. Embrace the Opposites

I was adopted from Korea and grew up in Oklahoma. I spent a good portion of my life trying to fit in. When I realized thatI could be myself, things got easier—especially with food. I’ll throw everything at the wall and see what sticks.

That’s come through in pairing things like truffles and spicy grilled chili jam. I’d never had that combination. There’s a place to ask that question: Why not?—Danny Bowien, chef

38. You'll Never Be an Individual While the Clothes Are Wearing You

Hockney, D. Getty Images

39. You're the Boss of You. Get Creative.

Kevin Sweeney

There’s no surer path to one-of-a-kind style than wearing pieces no one else has. You don’t have to go bespoke, either: You just have to get crafty. For instance, spruce up a tired old jacket by switching out the buttons. And don’t settle for the usual. Find some dinged-up livery buttons (above)—the kind worn on servants’ uniforms on country estates in the 19th century. It’s stirring, heraldic stuff: all arms shaking spears and lions eating swords. Dig them up online. They don’t have to match, as long as they’re about the same size and fit comfortably through the button-holes of your jacket. No one’s going to mistake you for the help whenyou look like a king. —N.S.