I am a pencil breeder. A secret yet honourable occupation. I am tougher than overcooked lamb - yet this pencil has broken my resolve.



I encountered it in the sacred field that is our breeding ground. It stood tall among other pencils. It has a light of its own. You see, I have found in my experience that, red ones are good, green ones are inferior, but the yellows ones are the best. This pencil has a yellow that is yellower than any other yellow. In my naivety I decided to take it into my care, to breed it, to grow it into the strongest pencil known - unaware that it was not made for any man.



This pencil itself boasts a delicious, crunchy wooden exterior and a soothing lead filling inside - perfect for any surface. Very little care is required, the tip never seems to go blunt. It draws line so straight that there must be another dimension made for them. Plus it gets on perfectly well with other pencils. But soon this pencil overtook its potential. When I sharpened it, it cut the sharpener itself. The eraser rubbed out the paper along with the graphite. When I tested its sharpness, it has heartlessly turned on me. Its point, sharper than a serpents tooth, pierced my flipping finger and I bled a sh*t tone of blood. It was at that moment I realised my days with this pencil has drawn to an end, it is time for a new apprentice to arise.



You see, I suspect this pencil has surpassed some lesser human beings. It has its own sentience, imagination perhaps. It writes poetry more beautiful than the greatest poets, and draws pictures that will move you to tears. This pencil could be yours but it does come with the gauntlet I lay before you. That is, tame this pencil and you will be the greatest pencil breeder in the history of pencil breeding.



Why take up this challenge? I was about to throw it into a lake so that one worthy may retrieve it, but I decided to throw it into the online lake instead. Like a sword in a stone, this pencil only awaits a palm willing and able to harness its true majesty. It could be you.

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