CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

As the quarantine of rugby league reaches the one-month mark, administrators are working around the clock to secure a kick off to the re-start of the 2020 NRL season.

Outside of getting the football back underway, the NRL is dedicating all other resources to ensuring their players don’t spend too much time on the internet.

With fears of even more NRL identities going down the anti-vaxxer/5G path like Choc – the games administrators have been encouraging the players to focus on themselves.

Players have since taken to TikTok to choreograph dance routines with their family members, or posting videos of trick shots down at the park.

Melbourne storm superstar Josh Addo-Carr has even taken to filming card tricks to keep the fans occupied until he can get back out on the sting.

However, the most prominent trend to take over the homebound footy stars in the peroxide blonde hairstyle.

Also known as the ‘Vanilla Iso’ – the bleached hair is coming back to the NRL in a big way, and has been championed by the game’s Aboriginal footballers.

So popular is the Vanilla Iso, that the hairstyle has now transcended from rugby league into Indigenous music, arts and politics.

One prominent Indigenous leader that has been inspired to rock the Sisqo is the famed Northern Beaches elder, Uncle Tony X.

This marks yet another twist in the Ballad Of Uncle Tony X, which has seen the former Prime Minister gradually radicalise as staunch Aboriginal activist ever since he gave a conditional yes to taking on the job as the Prime Minister’s Indigenous envoy.

Prior to losing his seat to a Winter Olympian in 2019, Mr Abbott’s final lap of Federal Politics was spent on the back bench. Morrison did not ask him to be a minister in his new Government, but instead asked him to take on the role of Indigenous envoy, citing his close association with Aboriginal Australia after growing up in a six bedroom mansion in Sydney’s Northern Beaches and working for the Liberal Party for nearly three decades.

Now, in his capacity as an unemployed boomer who spends his time watching Sky News and blaming left-wing politics for his family not keeping in touch – Uncle Tony appeared to have lost touch with his Indigenous roots.

That was until he saw Jimmy The Jet and Latrell rocking that deadly Frank Ocean hair on instagram, and decided to join in.

“Not bad eyy” chuckled Uncle Tony, while rubbing his hair.

“Too deady”

When asked if he had any advice for the Aboriginal community to keep healthy and safe during the COVID-19 Pandemic, Uncle Tony said hygiene was key.

“Always wash, always dry, Aboriginal hands!”