CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

Despite now no longer having a job, Australian tri-code footballing star Israel Folau has stood by his religious beliefs that the only appropriate form of binding between two men is when they put their hand under each other’s crotch from behind and grab the baggy bit of Canterbury footy shorts in front of the penis.

Folau caused a social media stir last month on Instagram when he implied that gay people (as well as heaps of other niche subcategories that seem to apply to most rugby union players and fans) were going to ‘HELL!!!’ – unless they repent.

Some fans respected his right to his opinion while others voiced their frustration on social media, especially the growing gay Wallabies fanbase that discovered their love for rugby union after David Pocock became one of the loudest voices for marriage equality a few years back.

Folau credits his relationship with God as one of the reasons for his athletic prowess and his success in the NRL, AFL and rugby union – and says that even though he has converted to two major and vastly different religious institutions in the last decade, his views of gay people being gay have stayed the same.

A spokesperson for the Wallabies has spoken out today, saying that they really didn’t think he would carry on for this long, and his discriminatory remarks have not only lost him his career – but also nearly sent the entire code broke

“In his eyes, men should only be bound by the squirrel grip, while pushing their head between two arses and pushing each other into another pile of men” he said.

“Israel believes men can engage each other, but only if they touch and hold beforehand”

“Unfortunately, this is something he will only be able to enjoy doing in Japan from now on”