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It’s tough having a mental illness that some people don’t understand, especially when they flat-out don’t want to. Depression often gets trivialised and treated as if it’s just ‘being a bit sad’ when the truth is, it’s far more than that and doesn’t just go away in a few days or with some retail therapy. It takes time, support and different kinds of treatments to come through the worst of depression.

Anything that makes you feel guilty or put under pressure to get better isn’t going to help and there are things we tend to hear on regular basis in regards to our depression that cuts us like a knife.

Here’s my list of 40 worst things to say to someone with depression

“Pull yourself together” “What do you have to be depressed about?” “It could be worse” “It’s all in your head” “There was no such thing as depression back in my day” “There are people far worse off than you” “Tough luck, life isn’t fair” “Just get on with it” “Cheer up” “It’s all ‘me, me, me’ with you, isn’t it?” “Stop feeling sorry for yourself” “You need to stop all of this moping” “You’re being selfish” “You need to grow up a bit” “How do you think *I* feel” “You think you have problems?…..” “You just need a good night out” “Lighten up” “Jesus saved me. You just need to pray more” “Your dragging me down” “A long walk would sort you out” “You can choose to be happy” “You don’t look depressed” “People will use any excuse for a day off work” “You’re doing all this for attention, there’s nothing wrong with you” “Everyone gets down about things now and again” “Snap out of it” “Life isn’t that bad” “How will you cope when something goes really wrong in your life?” “Some people don’t have time to be depressed y’know” “Just be positive” “Count yourself lucky” “You need to stop being so sensitive” “You’re only making it worse with all that medication” “Nature is my medication” “You were laughing an hour ago, you can’t be that depressed” “I’ve seen pictures of you on Facebook having a good time, I thought you were supposed to be depressed?” “You’ll be fine tomorrow” “Stop being so lazy and pull yourself together” “You’ve brought all of this on yourself. It’s your own fault”

So what to say? Instead of trying to get a depressed person to snap out of it or tell them to count their blessings, let them know you’re there to support them whatever they need. Let them know that they’re not wrong for feeling the way they do, that all they can do is the best that they can. Tell them that while you don’t quite understand what they are going through, you realise that it’s difficult for them.

Sometimes you don’t have to say anything. The best thing you can do is just be there and listen.

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