Hey! So I’m going to use the word “fuck” a lot in this post, both in its technical sense to refer to sexual activity, and as an emphatic. If it bothers you, I suggest using this wordfilter (or your local browser’s equivalent) to filter it out to “gently caress” or “rumpy pumpy” or whatever.

(Actually I positively recommend wordfiltering ‘fuck’ to 'rumpy pumpy’, I feel it will make your entire internet experience measurably more hilarious.)

This post addresses the circumstance where you’re RPing a close (and assumed sexual, though all the tips apart from #2 are totally applicable to a relationship with no fucking) romantic/loving relationship with someone who isn’t your lover OC. Sometimes you want to be able to play a convincing “partner” but only spend a few hours a year of uptime with your IC other half. Here are five questions which will help you play a convincing relationship in the field, free from OC drama!

Photo by Pete Cotts, from Victoriana LRP.

1. Where are our boundaries?

These are not just physical! This discussion should also include stuff like “how much detail do we discuss our characters’ sex lives in?”, “if it’s a 24-hour-time-in game, do we sleep in the same tent?” and “Are there any topics, like "marriage” or “babies”, that should be considered off-limits to IC discussion in the future?“.

When talking about physical intimacy, it’s not a straightforward spectrum. Someone might be happy with a kiss on the forehead but not with a hand around the waist. Someone else might be happy with holding hands but dislike long lingering eye contact.

Photo by Simon White, from Maelstrom LARP (which is no longer running, but you could try their new games Empire or Odyssey instead!)

It goes without saying that if you have an OC lover(s), you need to check with them that what you’re proposing is kosher before you go for it. "But we were just IC!” is no excuse if you’re breaking the terms of your relationship.

If you are pressuring someone to engage in a level of IC intimacy they’re not happy with, you are sexually harrassing them. I say again, you are sexually harrassing them, over. You need to stop that right fucking now.

When looking at your boundaries, make sure you’re acting within the rules of your game; if it has lines and veils, or topics that are “off-limits” like these ones from Falling Down LARP, make sure you adhere to them.

Photo by Wayland, from Aston Hall by Candlelight.

2. How do we fuck?

I don’t mean our characters - we can discuss the mechanics and squishy parts of that if we want to, or draw a veil over it if we don’t (see above). I mean what do we do, OC, if our characters are fucking in uptime?

Photo by Oliver Facey, from Dark Tempus LARP.

Valid answers might include:

“Our characters don’t fuck in uptime, there are zombies out there, are you a moron”

“We go into a tent together, drink a cup of tea and discuss the footie, then come out”

“We go into a tent together, drink a cup of tea and discuss the footie, then hyperventilate for 30 seconds so we’re bright red and breathing hard, then come out adjusting our trousers”

“We go into a tent together and write explicit fanfic about the incredibly good sex our characters are having”

“We go behind a bush and make ten minutes of loud monkey noises to embarrass the neighbours”

Photo by ???, from Maelstrom LARP (which is no longer running, but you could try their new games Empire or Odyssey instead!)

3. How does your character sleep?

Guarded or open? Snoring or quiet?

Be careful of pitching yourself unrealistically; if it’s a 24-hour-time-in game where you sleep IC, and you sleep OC like a wallowing hog which can only be woken by an airhorn, you may not wish to claim that your character sleeps lightly and nervously, awakening at the slightest noise.

Photo by Tom Garnett, from Tales Out Of Anchor LARP.

4. What does your character smell like?

Let’s be honest, we all smell like LARPer at a main event. We’d like to think that our characters had something a little more appealling than eau de rusty chainmail and I slept in a ditch last night off the field.

Photo by Oliver Facey, from Empire LRP.

5. What are our characters’ gestures?

Outside the fuss and bustle of the field, when everything’s a bit calmer, how do we demonstrate affection? Does he remember birthdays? Does she bring you roses? Do they really love cooking for their other half?

What’s that Tumblr? You need the photo of the kissing hoplites again?

Well if you insist. Photo by Tom Garnett, from Odyssey LARP.

BONUS TIP: Do it in Uptime

Working out your habits and predilections in OC time is great and can really enhance your roleplaying, but there’s no substitute for greeting your lover with a bunch of flowers or a handwritten poem or dinner at that posh restaurant in uptime - with all the terrible drama and misunderstanding and rejection and assassination that might ensue!

Photo by Jo Perridge, from Empire LRP.