A/N: As it will probably say in the title, this is a parody fic. Just to give you another bit of warning, this is PARODY PARODY PARODY PARODY motherfucking PARODY.

You've been sufficiently warned.

The day started as it usually did for Naruto. He'd awake, groggily, then proceed to shuffle down his bedroom hallway till he found his oddly restocked fridge. He didn't know who did it, but every morning the young blonde ball of energy would wake up to find his fridge with new, fresh food.

It was one of the many odd things he came to accept as part of his not-so-normal life. He didn't take it for granted, because he was still able to remember a time when he had nothing and no-one.

Granted, Naruto Uzumaki was still a pretty lonely kid by "normal" standards.

Anyway, today was the day of the official beginning of the Chunin Exams. This year, they were held in Konoha. Of course, Naruto didn't know that.

As he showered later on, a mysterious presence looked on at him from outside his bathroom window.

Not that Naruto noticed this, however.

After a few minutes, Naruto was finally ready to take on the day. And so, he stepped out of his average apartment and was instantly shocked to find his sensei crouched on a railing just outside his door.

If Kakashi noticed Naruto's presence, he didn't do anything to acknowledge it, beyond a simple glance at the Kyuubi Jinchuuriki.

The mask, Kakashi surmised, was an excellent way to hide facial features, funnily enough. There were some things he didn't want enemies, strangers, and casual citizens seeing, and there were things he didn't want Naruto seeing.

Namely, the fact that Kakashi was actually a woman.

A silent gasp so sarcastic that it would make a comedian cringe could be heard, miles, and miles away from Kakashi and the young blonde.

Not only that, but this female cycloptic cynic also had feelings for her student.

Feelings that shouldn't be reserved for someone half her age. Or for someone who was the son of her old sensei, either.

But she couldn't help it. Something about him, ever since she first truly met him at the academy, made her believe that there was still something worth living for. After the death of her closest friends, and those she considered family, she thought it would be a lot harder to maintain herself in a teaching job.

Somehow, as it always was, and how it'd probably always be, Naruto had managed to prove her wrong.

And, from what she'd observed silently, like she had earlier on Naruto showering, he had managed to prove so many others wrong as well. Every civilian who had ever told him that he'd be nothing was proved wrong on that fateful day Naruto received his headband.

The very same, that-

"Yo, Kakashi? Earth to Pervy-McPervPerv, are you there?" Naruto asked, waving his hand in front of his teacher's blank stare.

"The lights are on, there's no-one home, huh? The wheel is spinning, the mouse is dead, maybe? …Kakashi?" Naruto kept asking the deep-in-thought teacher, who suddenly and bashfully snapped to attention.

"Sorry, Naruto, I was day-dreaming for a second." Kakashi covered up, the mask hiding her flushed face.

'Of how beautiful our children would look, wrapped up and held in our arms…' She added silently, as an afterthought.

"Well you don't usually show up to my apartment without giving me a mission or telling me something. So what is it?" Naruto asked a third time. Kakashi drew up blanks in her mind, before realising why she came to the blonde's apartment, besides to spy on him.

"Ah, now I remember. I want you to arrive at our usual training grounds at three in the afternoon. I have some important news for you, and your team-mates." Kakashi informed the aspiring genin. Naruto nodded vehemently.

"Alright. I have to leave now to tell Sakura and Sasuke. I'll see you there..." Kakashi farewelled, packing away her erotic novel.

'…My love…' She added dreamily in her thoughts, before using the body flicker technique to whisk herself away.

Naruto shrugged his shoulders offhandedly, and walked away to go about his usual daily routine.

(Meanwhile, In Kumogakure)

A sat at her desk, lifting a dumbbell repeatedly with one hand, and going over her genin applicants to this year's Chunin Exam. Her sister sat on a lounge in her office, casually throwing a ball against a wall and catching it.

"Once more." A commanded simply. Killer Bee caught the ball and didn't throw it again.

"Three teams. Mine, consisting of Karui, Omoi, and Samui. Your team, consisting of Yugito, Atsui, and Darui. And the final team, led by C, consisting of Motoi, J, and Mabui." Killer Bee explained robotically, going back to throwing her ball.

"That seems right… But aren't half of those ninja too old to be attending the Chunin Exams?" A asked her sister. Bee caught her ball again and looked at her older sister with a confused look.

"Nope. They're all the same age and they're all female. Nothing's wrong there." Bee answered.

A looked down at her application forms before sighing.

"Alright then…"

(Back in Konoha)

Naruto heard that sound again. The odd sarcastic gasp that could be heard from a great distance. He shrugged the noise off again, possibly thinking it to be a coincidence. He then decided on continuing with his daily routine, which, on this day, would consist of him bugging his friends for an hour before he began to train.

Kiba's seemed like a good stop first, so he decided on going there.

(Yet, somewhere elsewhere)

Shion, the princess of the Land of Demons, was overlooking herself in her mirror, admiring her own beauty and body. Her supple, curvy curves, her large breasts, and her voluptuous thighs.

Yes, yes… What mere, mortal man could resist her?

'Hmm… This happens all the time in love stories. The princess meets a lowly knave whilst visiting a foreign country, and after an altercation or two about class differences, they realise they love each other.' Shion thought with a wistful sigh.

'But what are the chances of that happening to me, Shion, the theocratic leader of a nation, while visiting a foreign country? It would be an extreme coincidence for me to meet such a person, in some cute, yet unique circumstance. And really, how often does that happen in real life?' She continued to think, brushing her hair idly.

'Now off to the massive, yet somehow hidden village filled with bizarre ninja people with amazing and somewhat ridiculous powers!' The pale blonde thought, before finally getting dressed.

The Hokage himself had invited her to represent her country in what would be the first time in over ten years. Granted, Hiruzen could see why, being that her mother died protecting her, and thus left her to rule the country alone.

But still, Shion held to the notion of romance, and decided it wouldn't be a bad idea to attract some attention here and there.

Because, if the stories she'd read told her anything, it was that these kind of political visitations always, always result in some hot-blooded, loving romance.

(Back In Konoha)

Naruto finished seeing Kiba, and bid his dog-like friend a swift farewell.

Little did he know of the going's on behind the Inuzuka Head Clan House's Door.

Because inside, the sounds of a genjutsu dispelling could be heard, and the characteristic puff of smoke that followed it could be seen just as well. The obviously female-

(Back With Naruto)

There it was again.

That damn sarcastic noise.

(Back with the Inuzuka's)

As was being said, the obviously female form slumped against the door and breathed in heavily, her face a bright beet red with lust and want. Her mother passed by, took one glance and smirked a devilish smirk.

"That was Naruto again, wasn't it?" Her mother asked her, already really knowing the answer. Hell, Naruto was the only person who could get her daughter riled up like that. It reminded her of her younger self and her old partner.

"Sh-shut up, mom!" Kiba bit back, her hands shaking, her mind feebly telling them to stop reaching for her aching, sensitive taint.

"Kiba! Not in the foyer! Do you forget what rule number one in this house is?" Tsume barked forcefully, making Kiba stop and look down disdainfully.

"No public masturbation about the boy you've had a crush on ever since that fateful first day in the Ninja Academy…" Kiba said lowly.

"That's right. Now go to your room and think about what you've done! And then, masturbate!" Tsume ordered. Kiba nodded and walked up to her room.

(Meanwhile, in Otogakure)

"Yes, it's the perfect plan. We harness the energy of the Ninja Soulstar to reincarnate various undead kunoichi, take over the world, and live like queens!" Orochimaru, the legendary snake sage cackled to herself, rubbing her hands together much like a villain would.

"It's completely full-proof! Nothing could go wrong here, not even a silver lining of dramatic irony which will forecast my doom and bring about a change in perspective of my method of thinking!" Boasted the slithery, evil woman, who beckoned her right hand to a table that lay in front of her.

"Come, Kabuto… Your mission begins, now. Assemble Misumi, and Yoroi, and head out immediately." She ordered, gaining a silent nod from the shadows, and a quick flurry of wind.

(Back in Konoha)

Naruto got that shiver down his spine as he consumed his umpteenth bowl of ramen for post-breakfast, not that much mind was paid to the sensation. He didn't know why he ate so much, but he could've always chalked it up to the fox that resided within his seal.

That seemed to be the answer to everything odd in his life. And it was often how others gave reason to Naruto's weird habits.

"How does this batch taste, Naruto?" Ayame – the sweet ramen chef asked him, to which he smiled, with a mouthful of noodles. He slurped up the last of the broth and bore a toothy grin.

"It's fantastic, as always. My compliments to you, and Teuchi!" Naruto praised with a chuckle, patting his stomach in satisfaction. He put a thick wad of ryo bills on the counter and left with a small goodbye to the two chefs.

As he left, however, Teuchi and Ayame went into the back of their shop for a quick meeting.

A puff of smoke could be seen poofing out from the back of the shop, and another female voice could be heard…

(With Naruto)

Naruto shivered again, this time with an intensity that made his knees feel like frozen jelly, and that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand eerily.

"Oh, God… Something extremely disturbing is happening nearby, and I know it's going to come back and find me, somehow…" Naruto mumbled to himself, not that anyone could hear.

Again – he attributed this unnatural fourteenth sense to the fox's meddling in his life. After leaping away from the scene of the disturbance in the force his chakra, the young Jinchuuriki's mind went to meeting up with some more of his friends.

(In Kirigakure)

This was an impeccable sight. In the midst of civil war – there was a brief moment of reprieve where previously the native citizens of Kirigakure loyal to their current Mizukage Yagura had been endlessly squaring off against the rebellion of Mei Terumi, and her separatists.

What was the cause for the brief moment of reprieve, you ask?

"Mizukage, Mei – this war needs to stop. You're endangering the lives of innocent civilians, and what's worse – our aspiring genin might miss the chance to prove themselves in the Chunin Exams." A random, non-existent-in-canon character who was solely in that moment of time to move the plot along, said. They gained odd looks from the non-warring heads of the civil war.

"Uh… Who are you? And why did you call us here?" Yagura asked, her arms crossed underneath her sizable bosom. The town official sighed, bringing pinching the bridge of their nose.

"I'm a character with no real importance or development, here to move the plot forward. Let's just say I'm a neutral town official, or something. I called you here to put a stop to the war for a moment. Obviously you both know the Chunin Exams are coming up in Konoha, and that we need to send our genin there so our village can get a good name!" The town official explained, with both leaders of the opposing forces thinking on the thought.

"That does sound logical. Alright – for the moment, we will sign a treaty declaring temporary peace. AndIvolunteertorepresentthevillage!" Mei shouted hastily at the end, getting a sour look from Yagura.

"Bullshit! I'm all for a temporary peace treaty, but there's no way you're representing Kirigakure! I'm the current Mizukage, I should represent the village!" Yagura bosted, attempting to stare down Mei, even though the redhead had a head's length of height on her. Mei puffed her chest out and scoffed dismissively.

"Oh please, half the village was murdered under your reign! You wouldn't know how to act in front of the other Kage!" Mei said, with her back facing the diminutive Jinchuuriki. Yagura was taken aback by the statement, and felt genuinely offended.

"And you're one to speak!? You'd probably whore yourself out to them for better trade deals!" Yagura insulted. Mei's face hid behind her bangs, and a dangerous glint flashed in her eye.

"Tiny bitch." She muttered angrily, with a small puff of air flaring through her nostrils.

"Slut." Yagura muttered back.

"Ponce."

"Plot-Staller."

"Fourth-Wall-Breaker."

"Sentence-Runner-Onner."

"Alright! Enough! You're both going to represent the village with the genin in Konoha, or no-one's going, and this village falls! It's your choice!" Said the town official, before disappearing from this story forever.

Yagura and Mei looked on at the sight before looking to each other, then at the ground angrily.

"Truce?"/"Truce?" They asked simultaneously.

(Back in Konoha)

Naruto, not looking where he was going, ran into someone familiar.

Literally.

But before the pale-skinned, lavender-eyed, purple–haired, timidly-behaved Hyuuga heiress could fall, Naruto caught her, and the basket she was carrying, without letting either get destroyed. As he pulled her up, and she regained her bearings, he was smiling smugly on the inside.

'Yes! Fuck you, cheap plot-twists and over-used scenarios; I'm not fucking this one up today!' Naruto thought to himself proudly, smiling at his friends.

"Hey Hinata! What's up?" He greeted. Hinata, as always, blushed at the close contact with her long-time crush, and stammered in her words before speaking.

"A-ah, hello, Naruto. I-I-I was actually l-looking for you!" She stammered out, handing Naruto her basket, with a shy smile on her face. Naruto stared at the basket oddly, before Hinata blushed a deeper shade of red.

"Oh, sorry! These are for you, Naruto. I-I baked them, myself!" She said, handing Naruto the basket of delicious smelling baked-goods.

"Wow… Uh, thanks, Hinata! These smell great!" Naruto said, reaching into the basket and feeling the warmth of a pastry. He graciously slipped the food out of the basket and ate it tentatively, enjoying the sweet, fruity palette, before consuming the rest of it enthusiastically.

"Theeth are grape!" He said with a mouthful of food, making Hinata giggle.

'This is just weird. Why'd she give me these? Eh, why question it? Her laugh's cute.' He thought again, before feeling the explosion of flavour in his mouth.

(Somewhere near Konoha)

"Ugh… I feel like a walking bullseye, here." Mumbled a hunched form, as it slowly drifted its way into the Konoha gates.

"Just act natural, no-one is going to recognise us!" Declared a flamboyant form, who was wearing a bright red cloak with black clouds.

"Tobi, if this idea fucks up, which it will, I'm going to kill you, yeah?" Another said, tugging at her hot robes.

"You worry too much, senpai! Just act natural – and no one will know who we are!" Declared the flamboyant form again, before rocking up towards the Konoha gate guards – Kotetsu and Izumo.

Said guards were close to drowsing off in their post, before they caught sight of the multiple, varied group of kunoichi in red cloaks slowly walking up to them.

Izumo raised an eye to his partner, who had the same look of confusion, but thought nothing of it.

'Must be from some newly formed village that we haven't heard about.' Kotetsu thought, with a shrug of his shoulders, and a pinch of the bridge of his nose.

"Hello, and welcome to Konohagakure. May we please see your passports?" He asked robotically, looking at the odd lady who had a spiral mask on.

A disturbingly familiar spiral mask.

"Why, certainly! Me and my companions just came down from… Seishigakure." She said, handing the guards her passport, and smiling at them from behind it – not that they could notice.

Izumo pulled his partner back and pretended to look at some important documents.

"Hey, doesn't she look like that psychopath who unsealed the Nine Tailed Fox, killing Minato's girlfriend in the process?" He whispered to his partner, trying to look as casual as possible. Kotetsu darted a shy glance back at the lady, and her passport.

After that, he chuckled mirthfully.

"No, you dope. This lady's got a monocle and a moustache. They couldn't possibly be the same person!" He deduced, getting an agreeing chuckle from his friend.

"Hah, you're probably right. Alright, bring 'em through." He said, bringing up the forms needed for the groups stay at Konoha.

'I… don't believe that just worked. Did that really just work?' Thought a member of the group who had a giant, not-imposing-at-all three-pointed reaper's scythe strapped to her back.

It seemed like their job had just become infinitely easier.

(With Naruto)

The young blonde had somehow managed to meet up with Kakashi once more. Or was it Kakashi who had met with Naruto? Nevertheless, the two walked on the streets, talking of techniques they could utilise to train more effectively.

That was, until Naruto caught sight of ten or so kunoichi standing in an odd formation, looking straight at him and Kakashi. Some of them looked at him with creepy smiles, others with looks of hunger. All Naruto knew was that they scared him to no end.

"Hey, Kakashi – who are those ninja?" He asked, clearly seeing their headbands.

Kakashi, still cloaked in her male appearance, took a close look at the group.

"Hmm… About ten of them, red clouds on black cloaks, scratched out headbands… OH SHI- Oh wait, these guys have black clouds on red cloaks! They're just some visiting ninja from a few towns over, Naruto. Nothing to worry about, at all!" "He" said cheerily, waving politely to the kunoichi.

"Hello, friends! Isn't the weather lovely today?" Kakashi asked them, her eyes crooking in the appearance of a smile. The woman with a spiral mask, monocle, and fake moustache waved back just as enthusiastically.

"Hello, stranger! The weather's just grand!" She said, with a smile hidden behind a mask of her own.

"Tobi… I can't believe this goddamned idea worked. I just can't fucking believe it." Said the blonde haired member of the group, who had taken her hood off to cool down.

"Yay! Does this mean Tobi can become a proper member, now?" She asked with the giddiness of a five year old.

"No." Came the strong, echoing reply of the entire group, who were all praying for a failed infiltration turned bloodbath.

(In Kusagakure)

Muku, Ryuuzetsu, and Karin – three characters who existed at some point in the Naruto universe. Despite the validity of whether or not Karin was actually from this place, she joined both her female teammates – and her only friends as they calmly wound down from their training, on a bench near their training ground.

And, despite their never, ever being hinted at being in a team at all, the three kunoichi were, and talked about their upcoming visit for to Konoha for the Chunin Exams.

"So… Do you think there'll be any cute boys?" Muku asked awkwardly, having run out of things to say, and only being able to think of ramen.

Muku didn't think on boys that much, actually. Ryuuzetsu looked to the leader of Kusagakure's daughter.

"We're going to a foreign nation that has a population thirteen times the size of ours, with a male population that dwarfs even Kumo's. No, I don't think there'll be any cute boys, Muku." Ryuuzetsu said without a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

Karin looked to her friends oddly, pushing her glasses up the bridge of her nose.

"Are you guys kidding me? The writer wouldn't spend so much time attempting and failing to characterise us properly if he wasn't going to wed us off to random strangers we'll come to love for some odd reason." Karin explained, figuratively shattering the fourth wall separating you and them.

"Huh. Maybe you're right." Muku added, now thinking a little about boys.

"Who knows. It might not be multiple people. We all might just fall in love with one guy." Ryuuzetsu said, with a resounding sigh.

A silence fell over the group, before Karin stood, and stretched her arms.

"Come on. Let's get something to eat. We're thinking too hard on this shit." She said, shivering with disgust. Muku ran a hand through her hair and exhaled sharply, before standing up and joining the redhead.

"Way ahead of ya'." She said, dragging Ryuuzetsu along with her.

(Back in Konoha)

Naruto arrived at his team training ground, seeing Sasuke already there, setting some trees on fire like a rational, calm person with no anger or pride issues. As soon he detected the presence of the fabled Knucklehead ninja, however, he turned around and wiped the sweat from his brow.

"Sasuke." Naruto said with a nod in greeting.

"Hmm." Sasuke said, nodding back. He then went back to what he was doing, this time throwing sharp objects at trees, much like a rational, calm person with no anger or pride issues would.

Naruto then sat and waited around, feeling exhausted from the little work he did that day.

"Hi, Naruto!" The nether-banshee from Whore Island greeted. Naruto smiled at her.

"Hey, Sakura. What's up?" He asked her. She shrugged her shoulders and sat down next to the blonde with an exasperated sigh.

"Mom had me doing chores all day. I barely had any time to train, and when I did, I felt completely drained and exhausted afterwards. Feels good now, though. What about you?" The cunt asked him. Naruto shrugged his shoulders, much like she did, and thought on his day.

"Well, do you want the long version, or the short version?" He asked her. Sakura looked to her watch and gave a judgemental look in a northerly direction.

"The long version. Kakashi won't be here for a while." She said bitterly, her mood clearing afterwards.

"Well, first I woke up to find that someone had literally come into my house when I was sleeping, and single-handedly restocked my fridge with food. Wait… No, I think it was like… Eight people – girls, I think, came into my house and snuck around while I was out cold." He began, recounting this information as if it wasn't startling or alarming. Sakura's eyes went wide.

'Shit. He's starting to catch on.' She thought, regaining her composure and acting dumb.

"The hell? How do you know it was eight people?" She asked him, fake-shocked that he thought this was normal.

"Well, when I woke up, I went to my bathroom mirror and noticed that there were eight kiss marks on my face – different shades of lipstick. Like, these girls had to have snuck into my house, replace the food in my fridge, then walk into my room, and kiss me – whilst I was sleeping." Naruto said, looking to the sky reflectively. Sakura got fake-outraged at this explanation.

"Why aren't you frightened? Or scared? Or creeped out!?" She asked him. Naruto shrugged his shoulders.

"Why should I be? They literally just came into my house like they do every week, and re-stocked my fridge. This was the first time they've kissed me, though. I think it's sweet, but I have no idea who the hell they are. I mean, fucking hell – I think one time one of them even fixed my busted heater." The young blonde said, with a disbelieving chuckle. Sakura just looked at him oddly.

'Thank God he's a goof, otherwise I'd be afraid of him catching on any further.' Sakura thought internally.

'CHA!' Her inner voice quipped in agreement.

"…Fair enough. How was the rest of your day?" She asked him, before Kakashi appeared before them in a gust of wind.

"Boo!" He shouted, throwing off the two unprepared ninja.

"Ah! Don't scare us like that again, you fu-" Sakura prepared to say, before Naruto put a hand over her mouth.

"Hello, team. I- Wait a minute… where's Sasuke?" He asked his two students. Naruto pointed behind the cycloptic ninja with his free hand.

"Thanks. Sasuke, come here!" He ordered, with the Uchiha cancelling his technique, and walking over to his sensei.

"Alright. It's my job now to inform you guys that the Chunin Exams are coming up in a month's time. You have the option to take them or not, and I should warn you, there's a high chance you'll die. But, given that you're main characters, I wouldn't worry." He explained, gaining odd looks from the genin.

"What?" They chorused.

"Never mind. For you to legally participate in these exams, you have to sign these forms. This is the next step in becoming a great ninja – and that is taking risks. To get better at anything – you have to be willing to risk your very life. Here." He said inspiringly, handing the forms to Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura.

Naruto peered down at the form, and pulled out a pen he kept on his person, signing the documentation with his simple signature.

Although he didn't realise it, that piece of paper held more importance than Naruto could've ever hoped to fathom.

For it was the beginning of The Best Chunin Exams Ever.

(Somewhere in the Aburame Clan Compound)

There she was, panting heavily, her juices staining her already soaked thighs – her fingers jilling her moistened pussy feverishly, and a hand harshly groping her left breast, twisting her nipples passionately.

At first, she kept her pleasure silent, but the thought of being caught, in her room full of posters of her crush, with a photo of the young lad pressed against her bare navel made her so much more wet than before.

She imagined being caught by him, mid-masturbation, him removing her fingers and licking her juices clean off them, before laying himself above her, with her hands running down his firm, hardened chest, caught in a heated kiss whose love and passion would warm the heart of the world's most formidable cynic.

Then she imagined him taking her in his arms, lifting her up, and fucking her slowly, and pleasurably. There, he'd reach her centre, her very core, and rock her world – shatter her mind with a blinding orgasm that'd leave her wanting more.

And when they'd finish, she'd lick him, up and down, cleaning his body of their combined fluids, before he'd take her lips in a kiss, and hug her close to him, letting her rest for a bit as they whispered sweeting nothings into each other's ear.

"OH FUCK!" Shino screamed, squirting violently in a sustained, powerful orgasm. Her body went limp, and her body started to jitter and shiver in her orgasmic glow.

"Na… Naruto…" She moaned, hugging the picture of the boy to her bosom. Shino laid there for several minutes, riding out her orgasmic high to its end. Sluggishly, she rose from her bed and dressed herself.

'I should begin to prepare.' She thought to herself.

'Why? The weekly rave begins in approximately two hours and seventeen minutes. I should assist Mother with baking the pot brownies.'

(Epilogue)

Hiruzen Sarutobi – the proclaimed "God of Shinobi", the "Professor", was taking out his favourite de facto grandson to his favourite ramen stand, for his favourite dish.

"So, how was today, Naruto?" He asked him, lighting his pipe and taking a small puff. Naruto began with a massive slurp of the noodles, and swallowed them eagerly.

"It was pretty good, pops. Did some training, the usual stuff. But what was weird was this odd feeling that came over me every now and again." Naruto said, taking a bite of the marinated meat that swam lazily in the ramen broth. Hiruzen stopped breathing in smoke and let out a puff through his nose.

"Hmm? What sort of odd feeling, Naruto?" He asked. Naruto took a break from sipping his noodles to think on the experience.

"It's like… For a brief moment, you feel scared - beyond all reason, because something so surreal is happening that it's just horrifying at first. But then you feel acceptance, because you don't know what's happening, and then happiness, because you think you might benefit later on because of what's happening." Naruto explained, stirring the bowl idly. Hiruzen looked at the boy with a shocked expression.

"Huh." He exclaimed, before darting his gaze rightwards to a larger-than average chakra source.

"Say, Naruto..." The Hokage started, looking towards a group of ten or so women who were hiding lazily behind a telephone pole on the side of the street.

'Good lord, if this works somehow, I will punch Tobi in the tit. If it doesn't, I'll kill her.' Thought the blonde demolitionist.

"Yeah?" Naruto asked, momentarily taking his attention away from his bowl of ramen to look at his "grandfather".

"Who are those women hiding behind that telephone pole?" He asked pointing to the oddly familiar looking group of kunoichi. The ninja closest to them, appeared shocked, even though she had a mask on, and jumped out from the pole's cloaking, with one hand rubbing the back of her head shyly.

"We're... Ikatsuka, yeah, Ikatsuka! We're a family folk band!" The masked one explained.

"Family band?" Naruto asked, a little confused. Didn't he see these people before?

"Yep, family band!" The masked woman confirmed immediately.

"But the tallest one's blu-" Hiruzen began, before being cut off.

"We don't see colour, you racist!" Yelled the Masked woman, before storming off.

"Come, family! Let us get away from this bigoted place, and practice our new song – "Pacifism Solves Everything!"" She declared, her "family" begrudgingly dragging their feet behind her.

"Tobi… I'm going to fucking kill you…" Muttered the blue haired woman who was following right behind her.