The Value of Solitude: Why We Should Learn How to Be More Comfortable Being Alone

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Are you comfortable with solitude and being alone? It could make a big difference in your overall mental health and happiness.

While humans are a social species who naturally crave relationships and social interaction, solitude can often be a necessary counter-balance to our busy and hectic social world.

For many people, being alone can seem like an unpleasant experience. One possible factor is how you score on extroversion, where you often seek to socialize and be around others because it energizes you and makes life interesting. For those people, being alone can often seem boring, pointless, or tedious.

As someone who is more introverted, I’ve always valued my alone time. It not only gives me a break from being around people (who I love, but can often suck the energy out of me), but it also gives me an opportunity to pursue personal interests like reading, writing, making music, or just relaxing with my dog.

According to a new study published in the Journal of Adolescence, not all solitude is a bad thing. While there can be a stigma surrounding solitude, chosen solitude may contribute to personal growth and self-acceptance by leading to activities that promote self-reflection, creative expression, or “spiritual renewal.”

Researchers found that the motivations behind solitude can make a big difference in whether that solitude is healthy or unhealthy. If you’re spending time alone because you lack friends, don’t like people, or have social anxiety, then your solitude is less of a choice and it can have damaging effects leading to loneliness and depression.

However, those who seek solitude for positive reasons such as self-reflection, a desire for peace and quiet, or to pursue personal interests (like creative hobbies) benefit much more from spending time alone.

These benefits are true for both introverts and extroverts, although introverts often need it to a greater degree.

The main lesson of these findings is that there is an important value in solitude. And if you’re someone who likes to spend a lot of time alone, that doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you.

Another potential lesson behind these findings is that if you’re someone who doesn’t enjoy any type of solitude, it may be something worth pursuing more of.

Some people like to avoid being alone with their thoughts at any cost. In one study, participants were more likely to choose a small electric shock rather than have to spend just 5 minutes alone in a room without their cellphone, TV, or any type of distraction.

This constant need to distract ourselves from our own minds can be unhealthy. Perhaps some people fear what they may think or discover if they are left alone with their thoughts, but mental health requires being able to fully engage with our minds without feeling the need to run away or distract ourselves.

Solitude doesn’t have to be boring or unpleasant either.

There are plenty of everyday activities that put you into a natural state of reflection, such as going for a walk through nature, watching a sunset, driving in your car, doing chores around the house, or just laying down and listening to music.

You don’t have to run off to a cave in Tibet and meditate for 30 days to experience the benefits of solitude. There are positive opportunities for solitude all around us if we make the time for it.

Overall, solitude can be a healthy and valuable thing. And it’s important that everyone becomes more comfortable with spending time alone every now and then, because it can be an important avenue for self-discovery and self-growth.

How comfortable are you with being alone?



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