

Do all babes with art degrees, vintage store employment and creative talent have a huge bush? Does a bare pussy automatically reaffirm the fact that you’re boning a regular club-going, Jaeger-drinking slut?

Since you can’t tell by talking to someone, it’s nearly impossible to make a correlation between one’s personality and their vag coif — unless, that is, you’ve fucked. Do all babes with art degrees, vintage store employment and creative talent have a huge bush? Does a bare pussy automatically mean you’re a regular club-going, Jaeger-drinking slut?

The recent boom in proudly displaying full bush like an American flag on an ex-Senator’s lawn has even got me pondering the state of my own fem-coif.

Between the dark haze peeking through sheer panties sold on American Apparel’s website and the fuzz of Chloe Sevigny in Purple Fashion Magazine’s Fall/Winter 2010 spread, bush — and lots of it — has been scheming its return.

I’m not talking about the untamed, beastly variety, but flaunting a little something extra on top is the new photographic accessory, picking up where the peace sign never really caught on. Bottomless snapshots like those by Sandy Kim or editorials like Paz de la Huerta straddling a motorcycle sans pants are slowly outnumbering those fully clothed and, each time, displaying a noticeable amount of hair.

Ever notice Bedford Ave’s studding of waxing parlors? … Exactly. The 1990-2000s Brazilian trend is seemingly no longer. Williamsburg’s quasi-hippies and pseudo-feminists alike can rest easy at the thought of lower-maintenance bush and a more convincing façade. The perpetually lazy can feel no shame in skipping a week or two. The ‘70s were feral, the ‘80s were linear and the ‘90s were bald, but this recent surge in tailored bush just might make life a little easier for us — not to mention offering guys a furry reminder that the gal you’re boning won’t result in jail time.

Now, not all women are invested in this hairy effort. The baldness below of Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Cassie have inspired me to question the correlation between those of us who shave it clean off and those of us who leave it be. So maybe there is a connection between personality and fem-coiffure. Generalizing, you may be able to conclude that the lady parts at the crowded nightclubs in Meatpacking are as bare as pre-pubescence, while they’re a little more grizzly at a bar in Williamsburg.

But this raises two important questions:

1. Is there a “right” coif to have?

2. Do men’s preferences coincide with the type of girls they like to fuck?

-STEPHANIE CAFARELLA