There’s a new front in the war on Trump, as serially misunderstood performance artist Shia LaBeouf fires up his short-range ballistic art machine once more. The Transformers star last week launched He Will Not Divide Us, a livestream from a camera positioned in front of a New York art museum, to which people are encouraged to flock and chant “He will not divide us” as many times as they feel like. It will, apparently, be broadcast for the entire duration of the Trump presidency, and you can watch it round the clock at hewillnotdivide.us.

I can’t work out whether I am a total philistine or I just tuned in during a profoundly non-commercial break, because I spent what felt like an age watching three beanie-hatted guys shuffle from foot to foot in the cold while discussing the comparative merits and otherwise of somewhere-or-other’s school system. “I think he went to Forest Hills. No wait – you know, he went to Flushing. Actually – wait. How old is his brother?” [INAUDIBLE]. “OK, maybe it’s a different guy.” “I went to Cleveland. It’s actually not a good school.” “Actually yeah, a guy I know went to [INAUDIBLE].” And so on. Still, by the time I unglazed, at least another 20 minutes of Trump’s presidency had elapsed. Thanks, guys!

Unfortunately, though, it seems I missed the main event, because on Wednesday night, Shia was arrested for shoving someone, or scratching someone, or pulling their scarf. Incident reports at this time are unclear. All we have to go on are:

1. A video of a man standing next to Shia and bravely squeaking: “Hitler did nothing wrong.”

2. Some Team Shia accounts that join it in bringing home the almost hilarious banality of life at the sharp end of Trump-era discourse. To wit: “Shia was attacked by a Nazi. Shia got arrested. Nazi got away.” And: “Shia took a hit for us. There were all these Nazis here, he came out and tried to protect us.”

The incident builds on a theme established a couple of days ago, when some clearly inadequate little chap in business-casual chinos and a Luftwaffe hat tried to disrupt matters with some Nazi reference or other, only for Shia to repeatedly bellow “HE WILL NOT DIVIDE US!” right down his ear hole.

Oh God … Look, hats off to Shia for having a crack at doing something, and of course I should state for the avoidance of doubt that I am definitely against Nazis. But the thought of four years of naff pretend-Nazis goading naff pretend-artists is fairly excruciating. I suppose it proves that in some areas, at least, Trump will not cause division – after all, he has brought the world’s most wearisome attention-seekers together.