Serge Aurier is useless. Of course he is, we can all see that. The guy can’t defend, can’t cross. He’s a complete waste of space.



I mean, let’s start with his tackling — I’d probably have more chance of winning the ball off a Premier League winger. And Tottenham Hotspur’s new system under Jose Mourinho means he barely has to do any defending anyway. He basically plays as a winger himself.



What’s that? Only one Premier League player who’s featured for 1,000 minutes this season has more successful tackles per game than Aurier’s 2.65?



OK, so he wins a lot of tackles, fine. Making so many is probably why he gets booked all the time. Hmm. He’s actually only been cautioned three times this season. Six of his Spurs team-mates have more, including Eric Dier, Danny Rose and Christian Eriksen, who have all played significantly less football than he has.



Alright, maybe he’s not as bad as I...