The Glutton's Pledge

I, __________, promise to eat all I want, of whatever I want, whenever I want.



I will eat when I'm sad to cheer myself up.



I will eat when I'm happy for the sheer joy of it.



I will learn to enjoy eating even when I'm full.



My belly will grow and proudly proclaim my devotion.



My appetite will become greedier, allowing me to eat even more.



I will rejoice when people criticize my weight, for they confirm my progress.



I will rejoice when people criticize my appetite, for they confirm my confidence.



I will gain and not be ashamed; on the contrary, I will feast in celebration.



I will eat joyfully and bear my new pounds cheerfully, so as to be an inspiration to others.



I will eat.



And eat.



And eat!





