God bless the schools that try new things. Lining kids up in rows and making them listen to monotone math is a horrible way to teach, and if you want to really engage today's kids, you need to mix things up. Unfortunately, the line between "fun new learning experience" and "lifelong trauma" is razor thin. Especially when the staff is batshit insane.

5 Students Forced to Make Out With Their Parents at a Pep Rally

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In order to spice up their homecoming pep fest, Rosemont High School in Minnesota decided to corral the captains of their various sports teams and blindfold them in front of the entire school to be kissed by a "special someone." When you're a teenager, 90 percent of your daily brain activity is devoted to thinking about putting your mouth on other people in one way or another, so the students happily agreed. What's the worst that could happen from getting a mystery kiss while an assembled crowd of your peers cheers you on?



So, so many things, too numerous to list.

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The "special someones" in question turned out to be the students' own parents, who weren't blindfolded, were in on the joke, and willingly made out with their own children. In front of the entire school. On purpose. Go back and read that again, we'll wait.

Back? OK good, because here's a video of the pep rally that will make each and every one of you horribly uncomfortable for the rest of the day. There is groping, tongue-sucking, and rolling around on the floor in amorous embraces, which is excusable for the clueless students, but terrifying for the adults when you consider that they're deliberately dry humping their own children. There's something deeply unsettling about a 40-year-old man striding across a basketball court in front of a ringing chorus of people to grab his blindfolded teenage daughter by the head and begin tenderly kissing her on the mouth.



To say nothing of the three or four times he tries to cop a feel.

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One woman actually takes her son's hand, as they're making out, and puts it on her own ass, like they're filming a John Waters movie.