WASHINGTON—Following a special counsel recommendation that the White House counselor be fired for violating the Hatch Act, Kellyanne Conway reportedly decided Thursday to lay low until the rule of law dies down. “All I gotta do is keep a low profile and power through until the laws governing this country have no repercussions,” said Conway, who resolved to cool her heels in a Virginia safe house while waiting for anarchy to prevail and the system of justice to completely crumble. “As soon as the U.S. stops regulating the actions of its citizens and finally succumbs to chaos, I should be able to get away scot-free. Just have to hold out a little longer while the rules ordering society become completely meaningless. Then I can get back to business as usual.” At press time, Conway predicted America’s descent into a lawless wasteland would clear her within a week.

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