I couldn't help it. I held off for weeks, but I couldn't stand it anymore. Maybe I had had a little too much eggnog, or maybe the mistletoe had gotten to me. I know the real Santa is going to have a shit fit, but I couldn't stand seeing those yellowish packages sitting there on my dresser any longer. Coal me Santa. I've been bad. I opened my gifts, but honestly, no regrets big guy. If you want, you can fill my house to the brim with coal so long as there is still space to watch my new 25th Anniversary Trilogy of Back to the Future. Secret Santa's are the best Santa's, and Ozoe hooked it up. You can shove that coal up your ass because he also got me a 10$ gift card. Gentleman and a scholar. I hope you choke on cookies Santa, because some stranger gave me a better gift than you ever have.

Wow, I think I might have over done it. Sorry Santa. Lol. Jk.