WASILLA, Alaska – Former Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin issued a direct plea to Barack Obama, urging him to order the Department of Homeland Security to “immediately seal off and close the nation’s borders,” and to shut down “the still active anti-American propaganda factory, silently operating right under our very noses, known as Borders Bookstores.”

The request, perhaps Mrs. Palin’s most bizarre to date, was first seen as a hoax, but was later confirmed when the former FOX News commentator and best-selling author repeated her demand via phone interview from her home. When informed that the Borders Bookstore chain has been out of business for nearly 4 years, Palin remained steadfast in her demand for closure.

“That’s exactly what the terrorists want us all to believe,” said the 64-year-old former governor. “To catch us off guard. Borders is working underground now, so don’t believe everything you hear from the lamestream media and those Katie Couric ‘gotcha journalism’ types out there. When a tragic event like the French happens to distract us from what’s really going on, well goshdarnit that’s exactly when the radical terroists slip in through our cracks and border crevices to carry out their activities. Disinformation is still being spread. That’s how sleeper cells work. Well it’s time for America to wake the heck up!”

Palin expressed her solidarity with presidential candidate Donald Trump, and the growing list of US governors who seek to halt Syrian refugees from entering the US.

“If I were still acting as a governor,” said Palin, “I would limit the number of refugees allowed to cross over and into Alaska at zero. I can only champion this bequest in an unofficial capacity now, and I do so hope that our current governor will work with French Canadian authorities for the good of our sovereign nation’s future.”

“Donald Trump is the only one who’s out there, and who takes these things seriously,” added Palin. “I’ve put in several calls to his organization and sent him hand-written reports with graphical charts I’ve gardnered detailing the so-called inactive Borders sleeper cells, because I know he’s the guy who’ll put the petal to the metal. We don’t need any dangerous boarders crossing over into our borders,” Palin said, with her trademarked wink.

Responding to criticism that she and her family take things too far, Palin quipped, “Us Palins don’t know when to stop! That’s how we ended up in Alaska!”

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