Friend 1: Ugh. What a creepy billboard.

Friend 2: Agreed. That makes me never want to buy a mattress from Leeds.

Friend 1: Look at him. He’s a grown man wearing little boy pajamas.

Friend 2: And not just little boy pajamas, but little boy pajamas from the 1930’s. I mean, who wears a hat to bed?

Friend 1: Yeah, how has that ever been comfortable?

Friend 2: And that creepy death stare.

Friend 1: If he’s asleep, why aren’t his eyes closed?!

Friend 2: He’s staring at us like a guy in a bar who wears too much leather.

Friend 1: Hey, any leather is too much leather.

Friend 2: Burn.

They high five.

Beat.

Friend 1: And he’s sleeping on the word “Leeds”. If their mattresses were really comfortable, wouldn’t he be sleeping on that?

Friend 2: Everything about him screams, “I’m an evil rape elf and I can’t wait for you to fall asleep…”

Friend 1: “On one of my mattresses because I live inside of them.”

Friend 2: Ugh. What a creepy billboard.