I’m still hung over from the World Cup, but soccer waits for no man. I know *I’m* exhausted – can you imagine the players from Argentina, Brazil, Holland, Germany who right now are travelling to join their professional clubs and begin pre-season games? The very top players in the world need to be respected all the more for their very crazy schedules.

At any rate, here we go. 20 teams before the start of the BPL season. I’ll use the terms BPL (Barclay’s Premier League) and EPL (English Premier League) interchangeably. Sponsors and NBC will probably call it the BPL, but it’ll always be the EPL to me.

ARSENAL

NICKNAMES

The Gunners

OVERVIEW

One of *the* London clubs, Arsenal are a rich and powerful team with a good amount of EPL success, almost always a top-four finisher.

STADIUM

After almost a hundred years at Highbury, Arsenal moved into the brand-new Emirates Stadium in 2006. Emirates Stadium was part of a whole residential/retail complex with a cost of $850 million USD. There is no question that the financing of the project impacted the team’s ability to buy top-notch players – their last EPL title was in 2004 and before they won the FA Cup in May, their prior win was 2005. The English sort of assume their stadiums will last for decades, unlike the American desire for a turnaround every 25 years.

HISTORY

They’re nicknamed the gunners for a reason – they started as a factory team basically, from workers at the Royal Arsenal munitions plant in 1886. They had an excellent run in the 1930s, strong through the late 40’s and 50s, early 70s and then a great run from 98 to now, never finishing less than 4th. They’ve won the league 13 times and the FA Cup 11 times, and I believe they’re the most honored club after Man U and Liverpool. But their best year was 2003/2004 where they went a whole league season undefeated (26 wins 12 draws), earning the nickname “The Invincibles” or “The Untouchables”. They’ve finished in the top 4 every year since 1997, and are very likely to do so again this year.

JERSEYS

Puma takes over from Nike, with mixed results. The home uni is clean, and even the away kit is reminiscent of their 70’s colors. But the third jersey makes them look like a Cirque du Soleil troupe.

CHANTS

http://fanchants.co.uk/football-songs/arsenal-chants/arsenal-fc/

MANAGER



ARSENE WENGER

So it’s pretty cool that his name is similar to the team name. It’s also pretty cool that he’s the longest-serving manager in the EPL at Arsenal, eighteen years now. His first nine years were amazing, his last nine pretty unhappy, saved (as mentioned) with winning the FA Cup at the end of last year.

See that expression on his face? That’s all you get. Scowling, perturbed. Arsene is *very* French, and his teams have had a distinctly French flavor to them. Nicknamed “The Professor”, he is taciturn and gloomy. Winning the FA Cup has won him a bit of a breather with the fans.

STARS

ALEXIS SANCHEZ

I’ll try and tie in World Cup players… Sanchez is a Chilean striker who scored against Brazil in their 1-1 tie (he missed a penalty shot). He signed with Arsenal for roughly $50 million, sold from Barcelona – who was making room for Luis Suarez.

MESUT OZIL

He was Arsenal’s big signing last summer – started strong, but faded late and didn’t have a great world cup (if you can call coming home with the trophy not a great world cup). This midfielder is key to their title chances.

JACK WILSHERE

Arsenal are funny in that they have a very international squad, but with some key up-and-coming English talent, among whom is Jack Wilshere. Despite a really bad injury two years ago, this 22-year old is full of promise for both Arsenal and England.

OTHER BIG NAMES

Per Mertesacker (GER), Thomas Vermaelen (BEL), Mikel Arteta (ESP), Lukas Podolski (GER), Olivier Giroud (FRA), Theo Walcott (ENG), Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain (ENG), Aaron Ramsey (WAL), Theo Walcott (ENG) (and Joel Campbell, who did great in getting Costa Rica to the quarterfinals).

RIVALS

Tottenham, Tottenham, and Tottenham. Then other London clubs. Then everyone else.

FINANCES

Since 2007, Arsenal have had this contention for ownership between an American, Stan Kroenke (who owns the Denver Nuggets, Colorado Avalanche and St. Louis Rams) and Russian Alisher Usmanov. Their fight to purchase the outstanding shares for a controlling interest also had a negative impact on the club as a purchasing (buying good players) entity. However, in 2011, two large shareholders sold their stake to Kroenke, increasing his share to roughly 70%, with Usmanov holding the remaining 30%.

Regardless, Arsenal are one of the world’s richest clubs, with income over 370 Million USD and a valuation of roughly 1.5 billion. This wealth has *not* translated into big-name signings over the last nine years, but that streak ended with the signing of Ozil last summer and Sanchez this summer – and they may not be done.

REPUTATION

Arsenal have a reputation for pretty football. They are an epee, not a cutlass. They are guilty of making that one additional pass to make a perfect sequence rather than just knocking the ball home. When it is Thierry Henry, it is a beautiful thing. Unfortunately for Arsenal, Henry hasn’t played for them since 2007.

PROSPECTS FOR 2014/15

Very good. Arsenal have a deep squad, and deep pockets. But I personally think that Arsene doesn’t like signing superstars, and it seems like in today’s leagues, you need superstars. Arsenal are known for rocky starts and excellent second halves – they’re also known for going on tilt if they hit a bad patch. They avoided the tilt last year, and if they can avoid a slow start – especially given the number of players that participated in the World Cup, and must be tired – they will not only finish in the Top Four but also contend for the title.

AMERICAN EQUIVALENT?

Flashy stadium? Check. Major city? Check. Lots of foreign fans? Check. Won a lot a few years ago, but not recently, although they’re always in the playoffs? Check. DALLAS COWBOYS

TL;DR

You like pretty football? You don’t dislike the French? You think you might one day visit London? You like a good team with a good chance of winning? Arsenal’s for you.

NEXT UP: ASTON VILLA