The Sea Org is Scientology's answer to Navy SEALs, only with less focus on special ops and more on fleecing children and the gullible. They were originally created to crew L. Ron Hubbard's private fleet, but over the years they morphed from "religious Marine Corps" into something between a cult, the Mickey Mouse Club, and a time-share scam. My name is Derek Bloch, and I spent three years in Scientology's creepy space navy before abandoning ship. Here's what I learned:

5 They Specifically Target Children

[IMG:ent 5 kids header.jpg]

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

My early indoctrination was based on "study tech," which mostly involved learning the definitions of words you don't understand, using toys to act out concepts that are difficult to contemplate, and never skipping over a step in a series for fear of being incapable of performing later tasks. Here's where it gets dumb: These "study tips" are also religious dogma. So if you ever skip one, you risk physical illness or a sudden descent into crime. "Not looking up words in the dictionary" was the meth of my childhood.

I was about 13 when the local Sea Org recruiters smelled blood. The Sea Org is always on the lookout for the young and able-bodied. The long hours and harsh treatment require deeply indoctrinated children who aren't resistant to recruiting techniques and won't burn out. I was already perfectly groomed for them.

[IMG:bf1.jpg]

"We're going to work you like a stock boy on Black Friday. Every day."

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

The Sea Org, from an uninformed child's perspective, looked totally badass. No, they don't look awesome now, but when I was a kid, these guys were like the Power Rangers to me. I had been raised to believe the Sea Org was guarding the innermost secrets of Scientology and personally responsible for delivering the messages of founder L. Ron Hubbard from beyond the grave, both of which would save the world one day. I was even raised to believe that they'd be a space navy with special reincarnation powers. Holy mission to protect humanity, one foot in the supernatural, and secret powers? That's the perfect storm for snaring the interest of children. Just look at the poster:

[IMG:ent 5 poster.jpg]

If they'd been wearing Aviator sunglasses, the poster would've literally caught fire from radness.

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

But while you grow up learning that Hubbard had sacred secrets that would save the world and that the Sea Org has a huge role to play in it, after joining you soon find out that most of what they do are menial tasks. My jobs involved filing papers, making phone calls, writing, and reading. There was absolutely nothing "awesome" about being a slave to other Scientologists and to the almighty dollar. They ... they lied about the space navy, you guys. That alone is an unforgivable betrayal, but to sign up for the elite defense force, only to realize that most people treat Sea Org members as pseudo-military butlers? You'd be hard-pressed to find that kind of heartbreak outside of a Telemundo soap opera.