David Cameron Plans 'Radical' Child Protection Internet Measures

from the 4chan-the-children dept

If the plan is backed by manufacturers, it would mean that owners of every brand new computer would be asked if there are children in the household when they are first turned on. If the user answers positively, they will be prompted to adjust their internet filters accordingly.



If parents repeatedly click OK to get through the process more quickly, the computer would automatically block access by any user to sites containing pornography and self-harm. Internet service providers (ISPs) would also be required to verify the age of the person setting the controls, so that a child can't do it.



"Sorry, but if you want to parent your child, you have to wear Sherlock's hat. Dem's the rules."

Image source: CC BY 2.0

The last time we heard from David Cameron, he was wringing his hands over social media in the wake of protests in the UK. One may have thought this was just a blip on the wrong-radar, but he's back and he's apparently decided that the UK government needs to handle that whole parenting kids thing that parents used to do. This go 'round, Cameron plans to install filtering software on every new computer sold through major manufacturers that will issue a quick quiz upon its first boot-up.Gee, let's see, where to begin. First off, the idea of putting government sponsored filtering and snoop-ware software on every machine in the country may just face a tad bit of backlash from the public. Privacy concerns are the obvious culprit for such software, but so are concerns of parents who may just want to still be...you know...parents, rather than letting the government take this role from them by force. Say you disagree with how the UK government designates a website "harmful" or "pornographic"? Say you want your child to be able to see that site? It would appear that parent would be politley informed to screw themselves, because the government is in charge now.

Next up, if watching everyone I've ever met handle iTune's EULA process is any indication, you can expect roughly one-billion percent of internet users in the UK to fall into the "clicked like hell through the process" category. This would automatically turn the filters on to whatever David Cameron thinks is the appropriate level. I imagine frustrated adults trying like hell to search the internet for the answer to the age old question "Why the hell is everyone freaking out about Kate Middleton having boobs?" would then try to reset the filters, but would then click through them quickly again, resulting in only more frustration.





"Still not working? I must not be clicking through fast enough!"

Image source: CC BY 2.0

Frankly, it's also fun to imagine how this software would determine exactly what is too "quick" of a click-through, given that different people read at different speeds.



Finally, it would be interesting to hear how exactly his plan to have ISPs verify the age of the people they're likely talking to on the phone would work. We've noted previously how difficult and riddled with potential danger age verification of this nature can be, so how exactly is Cameron going to accomplish this? Unless he plans on forcing ISPs to do site visits or meet with child protection services for every account, they're still going to have to talk to their customers over the phone. Now, this may come as a shock to Cameron, but kids occasionally lie.



"Sir, are you an adult?" "No, I'm a llama. Now let me see 4chan, doo-doo head!"

Image source: CC BY 2.0

In the end, this is yet another move by government to wrestle away a free and open internet. Unlike some other measures, Cameron may actually believe his "for the children" trope, but the best protection of children comes from involved parents. Trying to treat the symptom rather than the problem not only won't work, but it opens the door for some truly bad inadvertent outcomes.

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Filed Under: david cameron, filters, porn, uk