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On the 12th day of March, the news gods smiled upon their tabloid worshippers and bestowed upon them a most precious gift: the opportunity to put "suck," "gulp," and "nanny" on the front page — along with the gratuitous option to photoshop New York City's petite mayor inside a giant soda cup. New York Supreme Court Judge Milton Tingling decided to halt Bloomberg's soda ban, just hours before it was supposed to go into effect today. Which brings us to this morning's New York City tabloid covers, and a little scoreboard.

Post: +5 for the heavy handed "cup runneth over" symbolism. And maybe +4 because we found out what Post editors think enthusiastic soda drinkers look like. But -6 for not creating a Bloomberg photoshop. Neither positive nor negative for the main headline. Total score: 3

amNewYork: +10 for photoshop brilliance — we get it, he's smaller than your average mayor, and the soda cup is huge. Also, +1 for using a picture with Bloomberg's outstretched arms to enhance said tininess. But -4 for not including the word "nanny." Total score: 7

Metro: New York's other free subway daily gets +5 for terrible soda-going-flat pun, maybe a +1 for getting Bloomberg in there.And -10 for SXSW getting the top billing because, you know, it's New York — and it's not 2008. Total score: -4

New York Daily News: You win everything. Everyone go home now.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.