Bobby Jindal, the governor of Louisiana got his official portrait done and well, it’s missing two very important things: melanin, so therefore accuracy.

Jindal is of Indian descent, and he is perpetually saying the worst things. He really must get his Land of Abandoned People passport soon. But this official portrait is doing the Matrix backbend to avoid pointing out the obvious: HE IS A BROWN MAN.

Behold:

LMAOOOOOOOOOO!!! Who switched Piyush Jindal with Rand Paul, because the devil is indeed a bold-faced ass lie! The man in that painting on the left is not no damb Bobby! I refuse it. I rebuke it. I reject it.

The man in that painting is white. Why do they have him outchea looking like Ray Romano? Everybody might love Ray but people ain’t here for Bobby like this.

Bless his heart. This is like when you have a conversation with someone who thinks they’re “colorblind” and you ask them to describe someone to you and they refuse to mention their color.

“There’s someone I want you to meet across the room. You guys will really connect.”

“Oh great. What do they look like?”

“They have on a blue shirt and their hair is dark. Oh and brown shoes.”



BUT WHAT DO THEY LOOK…. COME ON!

This portrait is that. Someone took Bobby, and refused to act like he got any color. Maybe that person was Jindal himself and maybe he told the artist to make him look like a split screen of Adrian Brody and Snoop Dogg. But LAWD. This is a fail.

They tried it. They OVERtried it. They ULTRA tried it, even. He shoulda told them to hit his face with a couple of layers of color because what we have here is a lie, untruth, fable and fairy tale. This is not him. This is the Bitstrip version of him, after it’s been hit with 3 layers of light filter.

If I were him, I wouldn’t stand for this. So I’d sit. And make them create another drawing of me. One that is actually accurate. I’d ask for my PayPal refund too because this is like if I told someone to draw me and they came back with a picture of Miley Cyrus like TA-DA! YOU LIKE IT?

NO MA’AM! He let them Columbus his face. I wonder, though. Did he send this back or did he hang this in your office like it makes sense?

This melanin-deficient painting, doe. LMAO! Bless this mess. Portrait saying “Bobby, I don’t fit you.” Chile, I don’t have time. Maybe he got too much toothpaste on his mirror at home and it has him thinking that he got lighter. But he could stay indoors for 40 years and he won’t ever reach that level of pale.

The man on the left is Rob Blagojevich after going to a barber who told him that his hair looks like a helmet and a shorter cut would be more flattering.

Was brown paint busy? Brown paint was all “I’ma go to the store right quick and it ended up in Target and 15 hours later, it was still at the $1 section buying glitter pom pons and mini stuffed Tweety birds. Because you know there’s voodoo that keeps you at Target stores. I know that’s what happened because:

I got a light skinned friend look like Bobby Jindal. Got a dark skin friend look like Bobby Jindal.

I gotta introduce Bobby Jindal to some India Arie music so he can become proud of his melanin. I think I’ma make him a playlist, starting with her song Brown Skin.

Edit: Bobby Jindal’s staff said the portrait above was created by one of Bobby’s constituents. Apparently, this is the real one:

Here's Bobby Jindal's official portrait. Other one was made by a constituent & loaned to the Governor's Mansion pic.twitter.com/60xMxi0Vql — McKay Coppins (@mckaycoppins) February 4, 2015

He STILL looks like Ray Romano, doe. It’s just slightly better. And wait, it was on loan to the Governor’s mansion so Bobby was still willing to put that portrait up and tell people “When you see this, you see me.” Oh ok. O_O