Christianity is not only one of the most evil religions ever dreamed up, it’s also by far the stupidest. Christianity has all the clarity of a cement block, and does that ever show. There’s a reason there are so damn many types of christianity, all of them at war with the rest. Each and every brand of christianity, over 33,000 of them, are absolutely positive they are the real, true christians. Christians happily plug up their brains about this, lacking the courage to address this big ol’ elephant in the room. If “christianity” is the real, true religion, why in the hell can’t you all agree on just what constitutes christian belief? Why the constant infighting and outfighting? Why are there always corpses on the ground when christians decide to fight over real, true christianity? The constant infighting is always on display, too. Every time I’m traveling home from town, I pass a billboard with “REAL Christians believe in Jesus’s teachings” with a phone number. Still doesn’t sink into all those brains pickled in Jesus juice, ever terrified of actual thinking.

Then there’s the bible, a pastiche of stories, most of them borrowed from earlier cultures and beliefs, badly edited time and time again, with near endless translations. Christians can’t agree on this elephant, either, but each different brand is positive their choice of translation is the real, true one. Along with being a manual on how to be the very best psychopath you can be, the bible is an exercise in contradictions and vagueness. It’s made so you can twist anything at any time, in any direction. And if there’s one thing christians excel at, it’s twisting the fuck out of an already twisted religion.

Chuck Baldwin, an independent baptist, is more than happy to contribute to the ongoing twisting.

Citing a passage from 1 Timothy, Baldwin asserted that every adult has “a duty to provide for your family, but you cannot provide protection for your family without being equipped to do so.”

Let’s take a look. 1 Timothy 5:8 reads: But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel. Yeah, okay that’s pretty basic, take care of your family, with the standard threat attached. As for whether or not christians should be all wrapped up in material goods and such, it’s 1 Timothy 5:8 up against Matthew 6 31-34: Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed? (For after all these things do the Gentiles seek:) for your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things. But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you. Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof.

Oh, what’s a christian to do? Provide for yourself and yours, pay attention to material goods enough to ensure a good future, or trust Jehovah? Chuck Baldwin decides to ignore all of that in favour of twisting provide into protect.

“Therefore, you must have the means of self-defense,” Baldwin said. “And in our society today, that means a firearm in the similitude of an AR-15. Without that, you are not in a position, you are not even able to protect not just your family and your house, but your neighbors, your community around you; that we, as a community of people—that’s the militia—are given the God-given responsibility to protect our communities. That is a biblical requirement.”

Personally, I’m pretty damn sure that whole “provide for your own” business has to do with the everyday prosaic things, like shelter and food. I note that Mr. Baldwin seems to think that community and militia mean the same thing. They don’t. And while I’m grateful that Mr. Baldwin is in the next state over from me, I would not ever want some lunatic yahoo to up and decide to “protect” me with their arsenal.

And no, having guns is not a fucking biblical requirement in any way, no matter how much you twist things around to fit your personal evil. Get a slingshot, dude, worked out well for David, yeah? Or spears! You could have a whole bunch of spears. And of course, there are always swords, since you can’t seem to find your way around a weapon filled life. Mr. Baldwin is working ever so hard to turn the AR 15 biblical, and there’s a good reason for that, Mr. Baldwin’s membership and staunch support in and of the NRA. Gee, what a surprise. Mr. Baldwin is also of the the Christian Reconstructionist Constitution Party, who are in favour of repealing all federal gun laws.

If I could, I would ask Mr. Baldwin what happened to trust and faith? One thing which is biblical is trust in Jehovah; I doubt Mr. Baldwin has problems with the whole “in god we trust” business, so why would he need to be bristling with guns? Isn’t the biggest “gun” in the arsenal of a christian supposed to be prayer? O ye of little faith.

RWW has the full story.

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