I sincerely hope that all of you have played Bioshock. It is a crime against humanity if you haven’t, and you should run out right now and buy it, so that you can witness the glory and splendor of this magical game. If you have played it, you more than likely remember one cutscene in particular. One having to do with a certain phrase? That one with that “enemy”? And that golf club? Oh yeah, you know the one. Well, this week’s article is all about Andrew Ryan. Why? Come on. Watch that cutscene again. You’ll know why.

(If you haven’t figured it out yet, there are spoilers ALL OVER THE PLACE in this article. So if you haven’t played Bioshock and don’t want to be spoiled, don’t press that “continue reading” button.)

You are the main protagonist. You have mowed down hundreds of splicers and tens of Big Daddies with the help of your plasmids, weapons, and projectiles. Atlas’ voice has been your only ally in this brutal world, whilst the ever-present voice of Andrew Ryan has been your foremost adversary throughout your journey in Rapture. As Rapture begins to fall apart, the alarm sounding and the walls crumbling, the player heads to Rapture Central Control where he encounters none other than Andrew Ryan himself. Ryan, who is first seen playing golf in his office, comes from behind a glass window and delivers the speech that has completely warped the minds of thousands, possibly millions, of Bioshock players. Ryan reveals one of the largest twists in recent gaming history – the player never made his own choices, but instead was mind controlled throughout the game by Atlas’ use of the simple phrase “Would you kindly?”

Even after the twist has been explained and the player’s mind is a pile of mush, Andrew Ryan continues with his haunting speech, continually reciting the sentence “A man chooses, a slave obeys.” He then adds to the player’s paranoia and fear when he hands over his golf club, and instructs the player to “kill”. You are then forced to literally bash his skull in, while he continues screaming “A man chooses, a slave obeys.” The golf club breaks off into his skull, and Andrew Ryan falls to the ground dead.

…WHAT? Your main enemy throughout the game just totally destroyed your brain, and then forced you to kill him. His strange version of a suicide never really made sense to me. The sight of Ryan getting his face obliterated by a golf club wasn’t too pretty, and I’m sure it didn’t feel too pretty either. Yes, Rapture was falling apart at that point, but wouldn’t you rather just drown than get your head bashed in? I don’t know, maybe I’m just old fashioned when it comes to ways to off yourself. Still, the scene is as pivotal as it is gory and haunting.

I realize Bioshock is not anywhere close to being a new game, but after a conversation about the game a few days ago, I felt Andrew Ryan was definitely worthy of the BAotW title. Or really, that one particular cutscene is worthy of the title. Maybe Badass Cutscene of the Week. Yeaaah.

This week consisted of a lot of rambling on my part (just like every other week what?), so for you kind souls who actually read this entire article, here’s a present in the form of a very relative Hey Ash, Whatcha Playin’ YouTube video. (If you’ve never seen a HAWP episode, then see one. Now. And then see them all. NOW. DO IT. )