AUGUST 20--Next year, the U.S. military will begin production of a new line of Meals, Ready-to-Eat, those indestructible chow packages that help sustain American soldiers. MREs, which are distributed to servicemen during operations where regular meal preparation is not possible, are packaged to last for three years (or six months in 100 degree temperatures). The new MREs were developed, in part, after a late-2005 taste test involving 400 soldiers stationed at Fort Greeley in Alaska. Each serviceman involved in the field evaluation filled out comment forms, which were then compiled in a report prepared by Department of Defense officials. A copy of that entertaining document, filled with the blunt appraisals of junior Frank Brunis, can be found below. Eight complete meals were tested, with mixed results. One soldier complained that a chicken and dumplings MRE triggered, 'a flatulence symphony in my tent all night.' A stuffed cabbage MRE led one evaluator to exclaim, 'The meal sucked! Do you even try this crap before you give it to us?' That same MRE also led another reviewer to write, 'Don't ever give the stuffed cabbage to a soldier again, even POWs deserve better.' One evaluator questioned whether the new MREs should actually be tested by non-military diners: 'Soldiers will eat all of this nastiness no matter what, because we have to eat.' Not all reviews were negative, however, especially when it came to a chicken loaf MRE with a tasty dessert. 'The vanilla pudding is so good that I ripped it open. Licked the inside and rolled around on top of it like a dog,' one enthusiastic soldier noted. (16 pages)