I’m 40 and my boyfriend is 50. He has given me an ultimatum: have a baby or he’s gone. He has a teenager from a previous marriage and I have no children and have never wanted them, though I’ve never totally ruled it out. I am very fit and career-driven, and would want a surrogate. We both have good jobs and he says he would hire someone to take care of the baby. Is it possible (with a surrogate) to have our biological baby and expect that I can keep working after delivery, and have a nanny to take care of the baby (and rely on my partner)? Can I be the “traditional man” in this scheme, the partner who sees the baby after work but isn’t the primary carer. Has anyone out there made this fly? I should add that while I abhor the thought of having a toddler, the thought of an adult child to share life with is very appealing. I’d like to have that kind of relationship.

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