EWoT:

Rand al'Thor Biographical Information Nationality Andoran Date of birth 978 NE Current status Kickin It Physical description Gender Male Height 1 span, 1 foot, 7 inches Build Muscular Weight 23 1/2 stone Afro color Dark red Eye color Gray-blue Chronological n' ballistical shiznit First mentioned NS 2 First rocked up TEOTW Ravens Last rocked up AMOL Epilogue Title Dragon Reborn, Coramoor, Car'a'carn, Dude Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck Comes With tha Dawn, Shadowkiller, Mackdaddy of Illian, Lord of tha Mornin Rank King [Source]

"Dude is born again! I feel him! Da Dragon takes his wild lil' first breath on tha slopez of Dragonmount son! Dude is coming! Dude is coming! Light help us muthafucka! Light help tha ghetto hommie! Dude lies up in tha snow n' cries like tha thunder playa! Dude burns like tha sun!"

—Gitara Moroso, Keeper of tha Chroniclez

"Dude came like tha wind, like tha wind touched every last muthafuckin thang, n' like tha wind was gone."

—from Da Dragon Reborn. By —from. By Loial , lil hustla of Arent, lil hustla of Halan, tha Fourth Age

For others wit tha same surname, peep al'Thor.

Rand al'Thor born up in tha year 978 NE on tha slopez of Dragonmount durin tha final minutez of tha Aiel War; Rand is da most thugged-out central of tha three main protagonistz of tha series yo. Dude is tha Dragon Reborn, tha champion of tha Light up in tha battle against tha Dark One, tha prophesied savior n' breaker of tha ghetto, n' tha reincarnated ass of Lews Therin Telamon. To tha Aiel he is tha Car'a'carn, or Dude Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck Comes wit tha Dawn, and ta tha Atha'an Miere he is tha Coramoor yo. Dude is known ta tha wolves as Shadowkilla n' otherwise variously as Lord of tha Morning, Pimp of tha Dawn, n' True Defender of tha Light. His strength up in tha juice is ++1, puttin his ass above all other channelaz up in tha series except Rahvin n' Moridin.

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Appearizzle

Da Dragon Reborn be a thugged-out, straight-up tall, light-skinned half-Aielman yo. Dude has blue-gray eyes n' dark reddish, unruly afro hangin just past his wild lil' fuckin ears. Rand has tha typical tall, broad shouldered Aiel physique, although he is mo' slender n' not as heavily built as his wild lil' playa Perrin yo. Dude is phat n' muscular from muthafuckin yearz of arduous farm work, archery hustlin, sword practice, fightin n' hustlin wit tha Aiel.

His palms have brandz up in tha shape of a heron dat is tha markz of tha Dragon Reborn up in tha prophecies n' on his wild lil' forearms is two scarlet n' gold, metallic dragons, namin his ass tha Car'a'carn, or Chief of Chiefs, ta tha Aiel playas yo. Dude is now missin his fuckin left hand up ta bout tha top of his wrist, cuz of a fire ball thrown by tha Forsaken Semirhage durin a ambush.





References on his thugged-out appearizzle

"Dude was a head talla than his wild lil' father, talla than any suckas up in tha district, n' had lil of Tam up in his ass physically, except like fo' a funky-ass breadth of shoulder n' shit. Gray eyes n' tha reddish tinge ta his afro came from his crazy-ass mother, so Tam holla'd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! "

"A bay almost tha color of his own hair, [...] his name was Red. "

"And a tall dude, afro tha color of livin coals. "

Family tree

Tigraine Mantear was hooked up once ta Taringail Damodred n' then conceived Rand wit Janduin, though they was never married. Taringail Damodred was hooked up twice. First ta Tigraine Mantear n' then ta Morgase Trakand.

While Moiraine Damodred is tha half-sista of Taringail, she n' Rand share no blood relationshizzle. Likewise, he n' Elayne Trakand share no close blood relationshizzle, despite havin a half-brutha up in common (each shares a gangbangin' finger-lickin' different parent) n' bein distant descendantz of Andorz first biatch, Ishara Casalain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Cuz of tha fusin of Luc Mantear n' Isam Mandragoran, he n' Lan Mandragoran gotz a cold-ass lil common relative. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Slayer is Randz uncle n' also Lanz cousin.

Ancestry of Janduin

Charn ↠ , biatch? ↠ , biatch? ↠ Coumin ↠ Jonai ↠ Adan ↠ Marind ↠ Lewin ↠ Jeordam ↠ , biatch? ↠ Rhodric ↠ , biatch? ↠ Comran ↠ , biatch? ↠ Mandein ↠ ... ↠ Janduin ↠ Rand al'Thor

Learned from Randz visions up in tha Ter'angreal of Rhuidean.

Channelin abilitizzles

Rand al'Thor is potentially da most thugged-out bangin channeler eva ta be born, so check it before ya wreck it. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude has shown without much hustlin dat his schmoooove ass could hold Egwene al'Vere n' Elayne Trakand, two of da most thugged-out bangin biatch channelers, captizzle up in shields while weavin over a thugged-out dozen other flows, without breathang hard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well shiiiit, it be also hinted dat he is particularly phat up in both Fire n' Spirit, cuz his schmoooove ass can force his cold-ass trips on others, which requires strength up in Spirit, n' his schmoooove ass can create weavez of Fire without much shiznit at all. Rand could also create all kindsa muthafuckin weaves, dat other thug channelaz could not keep track of dem all.

Background

Prophecies

Rand al’Thor is tha current reincarnation of tha ass of Lews Therin Telamon whoz ass was first named Dragon, durin tha Battle of Power up in tha Age of Legends fo' realz. Accordin ta Ishamael there be only all dem bound ta tha Wheel as they are. From what tha fuck is known of tha Karaethon Cycle, only tha rebirth of tha Dragon is prophesied. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Although there be other prophecies bout tha Wolf Mackdaddy n' tha Fox, no indication is found dat they souls is tha same, only they purpose fo' which they is woven tha fuck into tha Pattern, so check it before ya wreck it. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Unlike Ishamael whoz ass possesses his crazy-ass memory back ta tha straight-up beginnin of Time, tha Dragon as tha Champion of Light has ta go under a fucked up process of regainin his crazy-ass memories which is essential fo' tha victory over tha Shadow. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Several times when his bangin rebirth occurs he fails ta succeed up in one way or another but he never turns ta tha Shadow.

Proof of tha rebirth of a particular ass

Rand first starts intuitively weavin what tha fuck dat schmoooove muthafucka has never heard of or peeped before �" from Lews Therin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. E.g. blockin a gateway from closing. Then da perved-out muthafucka starts hearin Lews Therinz voice up in his head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! From Dumaiz Wells they is able ta rap ta each other, havin rap battlez n' Lews Therin teaches Rand ta do thangs, like fuckin openin a knot on a holla'dar shield. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Lata Lews Therin be able ta seize holla'din from Rand n' use his body fo' channeling. Atop of Dragonmount, Rand n' Lews Therin finally become One thug n' Rand admits they have always been one, only da thug was not able ta accept dis shit. When Rand faces tha Dark One he is Lews Therin n' Rand al'Thor wit all they memories, game n' knowledge up in one person.

Rebirth

Rand started doin thangs on tha last dizzle of tha Blood Snow 978 NE , durin tha hyped battle all up in tha end of tha Aiel War , on tha slopez of Dragonmount as prophesied. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Gitara Moroso took a dirt nap Foretelling his birth, apparently cuz of tha sheer force of tha prophecy yo. His mutha was Tigraine Mantear tha forma Daughter-Heir of Andor whoz ass had fled ta tha Aiel Waste ta become a Maiden of tha Spear . Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch had been convinced ta flee by none other than Gitara her muthafuckin ass, whoz ass holla'd tha ghetto would be doomed if her dope ass did not. Tigraine, whoz ass renamed her muthafuckin ass Shaiel, also took a dirt nap moments afta givin birth. Randz daddy was Janduin , tha youngest clan chizzle up in memory, whoz ass hustled tha Shaarad Nakai n' Taardad clans ta bust a cap up in King Laman Damodred of Cairhien fo' his sin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. When Janduin heard Shaiel had died, he relinquished his fuckin leadershizzle n' went off ta tha Great Blight ta fight Trollocs , where da thug was apparently capped by a playa wit Tigrainez face, believed ta be her brutha Luc

Rand was found n' named by Tam al'Thor, a playa whoz ass had joined tha Illianer army seekin adventure, n' fought all up in tha Battle of tha Blood Snow yo. Dude n' his freshly smoked up hoe, Kari al'Thor, took tha baby back wit dem ta Tamz home village, Emondz Field.

Activities

From tha Two Rivers

"What kind of need would be pimped out enough dat we'd want tha Dragon ta save our asses from it, biatch? As well ask fo' help from tha Dark One."

—Rand (Da Eye of tha World, Chapta 3) —Rand (

On Winternight, 998 NE, Trollocs beat down Emondz Field. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Rand, Perrin, Mat, Egwene n' Thom Merrilin was hustled outta Emondz Field by Moiraine Sedai n' her Warder, Lan Mandragoran, Nynaeve al'Meara followin on her own shortly thereafta ostensibly ta "brin tha lil pimps home." Thom was not a resident of tha hood yo, but a gleeman whoz ass happened ta be up in Emondz Field just then. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Well shiiiit, it is durin dis trip dat hints is given dat Rand can channel; when he gets goose bumps on his thugged-out arms when Moiraine channels near his ass n' when tha crew is healed from they fatigue but Bela is slick as Rand already healed tha cow (for which da perved-out muthafucka suffers a funky-ass bout of reckless bravado wit a trio of Whitecloaks) yo. His first big-ass use of saidin is when tha Darkfriend Howal Gode tries ta battle Rand n' Mat. Rand blasts a hole up in tha wall, blindin Mat temporarily yo. Dude then suffers flu-like symptoms afta dis heavy use of tha One Juice n' shit.

Lan fuckin started teachin Rand tha sword; Rand has since bigged up a high enough level of skill ta be considered a blademaster fo' realz. Along wit Loial, tha Ogier, Moiraine hustled dem ta tha Eye of tha World up in tha Blight. Rand capped Aginor there, tappin tha fuck into tha Eyez pure saidin. Dude then defeated Ba'alzamon n' was convinced dat schmoooove muthafucka had capped tha Dark One; he also helped up durin tha battle up in Tarwinz Gap, helpin tha Shienarans win. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. On they arrival at Fal Dara, Rand was holla'd at by tha Amyrlin Seat, Siuan Sanche, dat he is tha Dragon Reborn - a accusation which da ruffneck did not believe at dat time. Dat shiznit was also at dis time dat da thug was holla'd at bout his fuckin legit heritage.

Afta tha Horn of Valere was jacked, Rand, Mat, Perrin n' Loial accompanied Ingtar Shinowa n' tha Shienarans ta reclaim dat shit. Durin dis journey, his thugged-out lil' palms was branded wit two herons from tha tilt of his own Heron-marked sword n' by Ba'alzamonz juice ta fulfill tha Prophecies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! For his bangin right hand "to set his thugged-out lil' path" n' fo' his fuckin left hand "to name his ass true" yo. Havin tha Horn n' tha Shadar Logoth dagger back Rand feels ta be drawn back ta Falme. Discoverin tha Whitecloaks army Mat decides ta sound tha Horn ta booty-call tha Heroes fo' help. Rand reveals tha Dragon Banner, sets tha heroes on they mission ta free Egwene n' drive back tha invadaz tha fuck into tha sea yo, but afta he leadz dem tha fuck into tha battle da perved-out muthafucka separately findz his own fight wit Ba'alzamon again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. This time they fight up in tha sky, visible ta mah playas round Falme up in full view fo' realz. Afta tha battle parchmentz of street artist is spread all over Westland depictin his ass wit recognisable grill fightin up in tha Sky above Falme n' namin his ass tha Dragon Reborn, so check it before ya wreck it. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Dat punk destiny is permanently set. Meanwhile, down below dem tha Heroes n' tha Whitecloaks fight wit tha Seanchan n' as tha two fights is linked, wit tha victory of Rand they also won over tha Seanchan. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Artwork by Donato Giancola

To defeat Ba'alzamon Rand uses tha sword form Heron Wadin up in tha Rushes which opens his fuckin lil' defenses n' allows Ba'alzamon ta strike home wit his staff leavin Rand wit tha incurable wound up in his fuckin left side which all up in tha end fulfills tha Prophecies havin his blood on tha stonez of Shayol Ghul. While Heron Wadin up in tha Rushes serves up Rand wit a malignant wound, it also allowed his ass ta defeat Ba'alzamon again n' again n' again up in single combat. Ridin his blade tha fuck into Ba'alzamonz ass destroys his Heron-marked, Power-wrought sword. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Only a gangbangin' foot length of it remains. As dis battle proclaimed his ass tha Dragon Reborn, Rand finally accepts his wild lil' fate.

Da Dragon Reborn

"Come against me, if you dare biaaatch! I be tha storm! Come if you dare, Shai'tan! I be tha Dragon Reborn!"

—Rand (Da Path of Daggers, Chapta 24) —Rand (

That winter, his schmoooove ass camped wit Moiraine, Perrin, Min Farshaw, n' tha Shienarans. Concerned fo' tha safety of his wild lil' playaz upon peepin' dat Ba'alzamon still hunted him, Rand journeyed ta Tear alone, decidin dis quest would end or begin his wild lil' freakadelic game. In tha Stone of Tear, tha pimpin' muthafucka took tha blade Callandor, fulfillin a major prophecy n' confirmin his crazy-ass muthafuckin identitizzle as Dragon Reborn up in tha mindz of many, includin his dirty ass. Durin dis battle, he finally capped Ba'alzamon (Ishamael). It be afta dis dat Egwene drops some lyrics ta Rand dat she loves his ass only as a funky-ass brutha now, fo' which he is relieved as he feels tha same. This lets Elayne confess her vibe fo' Rand which Rand reciprocates n' they lick fo' tha last time. Da hoes also work up dat Rand can feel, via goosebumps on his thugged-out arms, when a biatch is touchin saidar.

To Rhuidean

Usin tha twisted redstone doorway up in tha Stonez cache of ter'angreal, Rand visits tha Aelfinn n' obtains lyrics ta three thangs regardin his wild lil' future; like cuz of tha nature of his thangs, his thugged-out lil' punk-ass barely escapes kickin it. Dude then set up wit Mat, Egwene n' Moiraine, n' a thousand-plus Aiel warriors, via a Portal Stone ta tha Aiel Waste, seekin tha endorsement of tha Aiel as they Car'a'carn, literally a "chizzle of chizzles."

Dude was allowed ta enta Rhuidean, where he hustled tha legit originz of tha Aiel; dat they was once a laid back people, sworn ta do no harm, n' aid tha Aes Sedai. When he emerged, da thug was declared as Dude Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck Comes wit tha Dawn wit a thugged-out dragon on each arm. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat his bangin revelation ta tha Aiel of they past has nearly fucked wit them; tha bleakness continues ta drive nuff hardened Aiel soldiers ta throw down they spears every last muthafuckin day.

Dude lata battled tha Forsaken Asmodean up in Rhuidean, successfully cuttin his cold-ass tizzles ta tha Dark One. There he found tha thug n' biatch access keys ta tha Choedan Kal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Lanfear then shielded Asmodean so his schmoooove ass could only channel a trickle, n' forced tha thug Forsaken ta teach his ass tha use of saidin. This was a thugged-out desperate chizzle, Rand knew dat if mah playas discovered da thug was peepin' from tha Forsaken he might lose tha fragile followin dat schmoooove muthafucka had bigged up so far.

Da Lord Dragon

"I be tha Dragon Reborn, so check it before ya wreck it. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Denyin won’t chizzle dat shit. Wishin won’t chizzle dat shit. I’m not tha playa you knew back up in Emond’s Field. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Do you KNOW now, biatch? Do yo slick ass?"

—Rand (Lord of Chaos, Chapta 10) —Rand (

Leadin tha Aiel outta tha Three-Fold Land, tha pimpin' muthafucka took Cairhien n' Caemlyn, cappin' Rahvin. Durin dis same time, Moiraine Sedai n' Lanfear was both apparently capped when they fell tha fuck all up in a ter'angreal. Afta takin Caemlyn, he announced a amnesty fo' all thug channelers. This brought Mazrim Taim, a gangbangin' forma false Dragon, tha fuck into his service. Taim has aided Rand by hustlin tha thug channelaz whoz ass come ta his muthafuckin ass. These pimps become Asha'man n' they hustlin ground is called tha Black Tower, which is Randz answer ta tha White Tower n' shit. Taim is tha M'Hael, leader of tha Tower, although his fuckin legit intentions have yet ta be revealed; it is speculated he be a Darkfriend of some authoritizzle n' power.

Rand was then approached by embassies from tha Aes Sedai up in tha White Tower under Elaida, from tha Salidar faction n' tha Unaligned Sisters, most prominently among dem tha legendary Green Cadsuane Melaidhrin, whoz ass would come ta play a immense role up in his wild lil' future. Elaidaz embassy kidnapped his ass n' shielded his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude escaped at Dumaiz Wells, triggerin a big-ass n' bloody battle, n' has since forced nuff Aes Sedai on both sides ta swear fealty ta his muthafuckin ass. With all dat was goin' down round him, dat schmoooove muthafucka has found it too hard as fuck ta cope wit if he allows his wild lil' fuckin emotions ta exist, n' so dat schmoooove muthafucka has pushed dem down n' turned his dirty ass tha fuck into stone, feelin nothing. Well shiiiit, it is dis dat Cadsuane is determined ta reverse.

Da Crown of Swordz n' tha Seanchan

Rand took Illian rockin Davram Basherez army n' a crew of Asha'man. Durin tha attack, da ruffneck drove up tha Forsaken Sammael n' followed his ass ta Shadar Logoth, where tha Forsaken was capped by Mashadar. With tha fall of Illian, tha disappearizzle of Mattin Stepaneos den Balgar, n' Randz forced sale of grain ta Illian from Tear, tha Council of Nine declared Rand mackdaddy.

Afta snuffin up Sammaelz Illianer followers, Rand set his wild lil' focus on tha Seanchan, whoz ass had conquered neighborin Altara n' had set they sights on Illian. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. In northern Altara, Randz forces fought tha Seanchan ta a stalemate, rollin tha Hailene back ta Ebou Dar temporarily yo, but causin heavy losses on Randz side as well.

Cleansin saidin

Artwork by Scott M. Fischer

Later, Rand goes up in disguise ta Nynaeve rockin tha alias Nuli n' reveals his thugged-out lil' plan ta her n' asks fo' help ta cleanse saidin. Elayne, Aviendha n' Min all bond Rand as they warder.

Min predicts dat Elayne will git wit lil pimp from Rand, n' tha pair spend a night together afta tha bondin ta make dat come about. Elaynez other warder (Birgitte Silverbow) be a lil' bit upset at bein able ta feel tha heirz emotions n' gets faded ta block dem out. While both Aviendha n' Min had consummated they relationshizzlez wit Rand previously, they also politely try ta block it up fo' realz. Aviendha be able ta do so rockin Saidar yo, but Min (who like Birgitte, cannot channel) takes tha liquid route.

Rand, Cadsuane, Nynaeve n' tha otherz of his thugged-out lil' jam leave Far Madding ta retrieve Callandor n' Travel ta Shadar Logoth. Well shiiiit, it is here dat Rand puts tha fuck into action his fuckin lil' darin plan ta cleanse tha taint from saidin, rockin tha evil within Shadar Logoth ta battle dat of tha taint. Rand n' Nynaeve link, rockin tha juice of tha Choedan Kal sa'angreal and, while Cadsuane n' tha other Aes Sedai, Asha'man, n' Windfinders hold off tha inevitable battle by tha Forsaken, succeed up in removin tha Dark Onez hold over tha thug half of tha Source. Shadar Logoth be annihilated durin tha cleansin n' not a god damn thang but a cold-ass lil crata three milez across remains.

Realizin dat his schmoooove ass can't fight tha Seanchan n' tha Shadow all up in tha same time, Rand lata busted Loial, Logain Ablar, n' Bashere ta Ebou Dar ta negotiate a truce wit tha Seanchan. They return wit tha shizzle dat tha High Lady Suroth wants Rand ta hook up wit tha Daughta of tha Nine Moons.

Meetin wit Semirhage

Da meeting, up in a manor up in tha ghettoside, be a trap set by tha Forsaken Semirhage, rockin tha Mask of Mirrors ta disguise her muthafuckin ass as Tuon fo' realz. As Rand be approaching, he identifies Semirhage cuz of Cadsuanez ter'angreal yo, but she attacks wit tha One Juice before dat schmoooove muthafucka has a cold-ass lil chizzle ta react. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Semirhage sendz a gangbangin' firebizzle up in Randz direction, n' tha blast hits his thugged-out arm, causin his ass ta lose his fuckin left hand. Semirhage is captured n' shielded. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Rand sendz tha sul'dam n' damane ta Ebou Dar ta inform tha Daughta of tha Nine Moons dat tha Dragon Reborn still wants ta hook up wit her muthafuckin ass.

While captive, Semirhage alleges dat Rand hearin tha voice of Lews Therin Telamon up in his head be a gangbangin' form of incurable insanitizzle n' is likely ta end up in his fuckin lil' dirtnap.

Pacifyin Arad Doman

Most recently, Rand has moved big-ass numberz of Aiel tha fuck into Arad Doman wit tha intent of pacifyin n' re-orderin tha ghetto yo. Dude also used Sea Folk ships ta supply Bandar Eban wit chicken ta combat famine. Common bandits bein no match fo' tha Aiel, he easily occupied tha region. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude also secured tha assistizzle of tha Great Captain Rodel Ituralde up in guardin tha unprotected border of tha Blight. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat he experienced hang-up restorin order n' shiznit yo. Dude attempted ta use tha Council of Merchants ta replace tha missin mackdaddy--whom da perved-out muthafucka suspected of bein under Compulsion ta Graendal--but was unable ta locate enough of dem ta elect a freshly smoked up mackdaddy fo' realz. Afta failin ta reach a accommodation wit tha Seanchan, he leaves Arad Doman up in a rage. While departin he is informed dat tha all of tha grain has spoiled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dejected at yet another failure, Rand leaves Arad Doman ta its fate.

While trippin one night, he found his dirty ass up in Tel'aran'rhiod. On further investigation da ruffneck discovered dat dat schmoooove muthafucka had somehow been transported ta Moridinz lair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. While there, dat schmoooove muthafucka had a genial conversation wit Moridin whoz ass revealed ta Rand dat he is Ishamael reborn n' dat balefire is tha only way one of tha Forsaken can be fucked wit fo' good. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! I be fly as a gangbangin' falcon, soarin all up in tha sky dawwwwg! Before leavin Rand was shocked ta find dat Moridin didn't brang Rand ta his thugged-out lil' place.

Peepin his bangin revelation on tha summit of Dragonmount, Rand returns ta Bandar Eban ta atone fo' his thugged-out lil' previous failure. Findin tha hood starvin n' desperate, he n' Min locate three forma Mackdaddyz Guards, whoz ass his schmoooove ass commissions ta help restore order, providin dem wit weapons n' armor from Tear. These soldiers quickly bust five hundred recruits, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Rand then returns ta tha Sea Folk ships, which is kept under quarantine by Iralin, tha dockmasta n' shit. Iralin is initially enraged at Randz abandonment of Arad Doman yo, but Rand boardz one of tha Sea Folk ships n' discovers dat every last muthafuckin unopened ounce ta tha bounce of chicken remains unspoiled. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! With hope restored, Rand appoints Iralin as his steward up in Bandar Eban n' names his ass ta tha Council of Merchants.

Touchin tha True Juice

Rand continues ta descend deeper tha fuck into madness, attemptin ta become eva harder n' harder, especially afta Semirhage whoz ass had been freed by Shaidar Haran n' Elza Penfell, bound his ass wit tha Domination Band n' forced his ass ta try ta strangle Min. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. In a gangbangin' fit of desperation, Rand unknowingly reached up n' channeled tha True Power, possibly all up in his fuckin link wit Moridin.

Artwork by Mike Komarck

With it da thug wove fire n' fucked wit tha collar of tha Band. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Jacked from its control, he capped both Semirhage n' Elza wit balefire. Da full implicationz of dis turn of events aint yet understood, n' fo' her failure his thugged-out lil' punk-ass banned Cadsuane from his sight, threatenin her wit execution (though dis did not stop her schemin wit tha Wise Ones n' her fellow Aes Sedai).

Later, Rand kicked it wit wit Tuon at Falme up in order ta set a truce. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat despite his ta'veren nature, Tuon refused ta accept his conditions. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch instead demanded dat his thugged-out lil' punk-ass bow ta her up in accordizzle wit tha Seanchan Prophecies, causin Rand ta muthafuckin bounce.

While up in Arad Doman, his search fo' tha Mackdaddy caused his ass ta come across shiznit concernin tha location of Graendal, and, when Nyneave chanced upon one of Graendalz toys operatin up in Bandar Eban, tha pimpin' muthafucka took tha opportunitizzle ta battle her n' shit. Discernin her likely location, he used a gangbangin' finger-lickin' disloyal n' manipulatizzle Domani noble ta determine her presence, n' then, up in a gangbangin' fittin display of his wild lil' fuckin encroachin insanity, proceeded ta fuck wit tha entire manor complex wit Balefire, ta tha disgust of both Min n' Nyneave.

Ultimately, however, Randz plans fo' Arad Doman kicked it wit wit failure, as da thug was barely able ta re-establish tha posse up in tha region, tha peace process wit tha Seanchan, held at Falme wit tha Daughta of tha Nine Moons, fell tha fuck flat on its face, n' tha grain intended ta relieve tha famine suddenly rotted. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Faced wit this, he abandoned tha ghetto ta starvation, anarchy, n' Seanchan invasion, n' moonwalked back ta Tear.

Rand would hook up wit frustration once again n' again n' again all up in tha meetin wit tha Borderlanders. Reunited wit tha Sniffer Hurin fo' tha last time up in years, he greeted his oldschool playa wit harsh lyrics, and, enraged all up in tha Borderlanders' refusal ta hook up wit his ass except inside tha hood of Far Madding, threatened dem wit destruction n' once again n' again n' again moonwalked back ta tha Stone.

Dude moonwalked back ta Tear, from where he planned ta march ta Shayol Ghul yo. Dude also seemed eager ta battle Ebou Dar yo, but was delayed when he found Tam al'Thor waitin fo' his ass up in his bedroom. Rand was pimped outly angered when Tam accidentally revealed dat Cadsuane had brought his ass there, up in his bangin rage nearly losin all control, n' almost cappin' Tam wit tha One Juice n' shit. Fleein ta Ebou Dar wit tha Choedan Kal access key, his schmoooove ass came close ta carryin up his one-man assault on tha Seanchan yo, but stopped short when da perved-out muthafucka saw all tha playaz of Ebou Darz concern fo' his ass when da thug was gripped by tha summonin sicknizz yo. Dude done cooked up a gateway n' Skimmed ta a seemingly random place, eventually endin up on tha top of Dragonmount.

Da fight wit tha Shadow

Yo, spendin minutes all up in tha top of tha mountain, hidin up in a cold-ass lil crevice from tha cold, Rand is slowly bein consumed by tha anger dat has been wellin up in his ass over tha last year, n' it now aint focused on one place fo' realz. Angry at his dirty ass, his wild lil' playas, his wild lil' fuckin enemies, tha ghetto, tha pattern n' even tha Creator his dirty ass, rationalizin his thugged-out anger dat every last muthafuckin thang seems ta be doomed ta destruction, fire n' dirtnap no matta what tha fuck tha pimpin' muthafucka tries.

Drawin up in as much of tha One Juice as it is possible ta do, all up in tha Choedan Kal, Rand screams ta tha heavens what tha fuck is tha point if mah playas is doomed ta take a thugged-out dirtnap n' repeat thangs over n' over?

Its up in dis moment dat he asks what tha fuck tha reason is, why mah playas is up in a ghetto dat repeats itself constantly n' never seems ta be able ta end, n' up in dat moment Lews Therin gives tha explanation as ta why thangs repeat.

“So we can peep dem again, gotz a cold-ass lil chizzle ta chizzle thangs.”

Rand reforged

This revelation rocks Rand ta his core, understandin finally why tha ghetto is tha way it is, why playas is put all up in thangs over n' over, ta have another chizzle ta live, ta ludd n' ta be aiiight again, even if thangs is hard n' playas may fail, they is given as nuff chances as is possible ta gotta betta theyselves n' tha ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass.Undergoin a cold-ass lil considerable menstrual transformation, Rand destroys tha Choeden Kal itself all up in tha access key, believin dat such juice was dangerous, n' datwas all he needed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude then departed Dragonmount, wit tha certainty dat he aint NEVER gonna hear Lews Therinz voice up in his head again, cuz they was not two men, n' never had been. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Randz transformation, as noted above, has enabled his ass ta finally become what tha fuck tha Creator intended his ass ta be: a opposizzle ta tha Dark One. Almen Bunt sees dis as Rand strutts down Dragonmount n' tha fuck into tha valley, where there be a apple orchard where tha applez is goin rotten as soon as they is ripe cuz of tha Dark Onez taint. Randz straight-up presence is shown ta reverse tha taint n' rot n' allows tha applez ta be harvested. Dude then make his way ta tha White Tower n' shit. While there tha pimpin' muthafucka props Siuan fo' takin tha arrow fo' his ass up in Fal Dara n' receives a letta served up from Tiana Noselle yo. Dude then meets wit Egwene up in tha Hall of tha Tower n' congratulates her on becomin Amyrlin Seat yo. Dude then informs her dat he is intendin ta break all tha Great Seals ta tha Dark Onez prison n' dat he needz tha help of saidar as well as saidin dis time fo' realz. As tha pimpin' muthafucka talks he refers ta Lews Therin as his dirty ass yo. Dude then drops some lyrics ta her ta hook up his ass all up in tha Field of Merrilor where they will say shit bout his cold-ass terms before goin on ta Shayol Ghul.

Dude then Travels back ta tha Stone of Tear yo. Dude gathers all tha High Lordz n' Ladiez of Tear up in a line n' looks deeply tha fuck into each one of they eyes. Weiramon n' Anaiyella is both revealed ta be Darkfriendz n' is busted away yo. Dude then promises tha Aiel dat da thug will always keep his wild lil' fuckin escort of Maidens from now on n' dat da thug will hook up tha toh dat schmoooove muthafucka has gained. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude then sees Tam n' goes ta him, finally weepin on his shoulder n' asks fo' forgivenizz yo. Dude then introduces Tam ta Min.

Final pieces ta his thugged-out army

Rand returns ta Bandar Eban was da perved-out muthafucka suffers a severe bout of guilt fo' leavin tha Arad Doman when it had served itz function. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. Afta bein hollared up by Min his thugged-out lil' punk-ass begins ta reestablish tha law within tha hood by biggin' up Durnham as Commander n' Iralin as Steward. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Randz ta'veren nature kicks up in n' a big-ass proportion of tha population begin ta start cleanin theyselves n' tha areas round dem n' goin bout tha routine of everyday game. Rand, Min n' they guard of 500 now git all up in tha Seafolk ships up in port fo' realz. Afta askin ta board Milis din Shalada Three Stars' shizzle tha company head ta tha hold where all tha tainted grain is held. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Rand uncovers barrel-loadz of untainted grain n' wheat dat had previously been unopened. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Rand then asks Iralin n' Durnham ta distribute tha cooked chicken ta tha starvin population changin Arad Doman tha fuck into a semi-functionin hood again.

Rand then Travels ta Maradon where they find Ituralde only just managin ta hold onto tha hood wit tha timely aid n' Bashere n' his soldiers. Rand Travels up ta tha front of tha hood ta grill tha oncomin invadin Shadowspawn army wit only his cold-ass two Maiden guard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude then creates wit tha One Juice a maelstrom of light n' fire n' sendz tempestz of destruction tha fuck into tha rankz of tha Shadowspawn army. When tha storm finally disapates, tenz of thousandz of Trolloc carcasses is left across tha battlefield, leavin no trace of a single livin Shadowspawn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Utterly exhausted he returns ta Tear wit Bashere n' Ituraldez remainin forces yo. Dude then escorts Ituralde ta Cadsuanez quartas where Ituraldez mackdaddy Alsalam Saeed Almadar is bein kept.

Rand sendz Naeff disguised ta tha Black Tower ta serve up a message ta Logain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da message is dat Rand was wack n' dat tha Asha'man is pimps n' not just weapons. Rand then finally decides ta re-meet wit tha Borderlander army stationed up in Far Maddin takin Min n' Cadsuane wit his muthafuckin ass. Cadsuane is chagrined when Rand erects her on callin his ass pimp when he is nuff muthafuckin centuries olda than her n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch then begins ta booty-call Rand by his thugged-out lil' proper name. Rand greets tha four rulaz of tha Borderlandz just outside tha hood, where each one measures his bangin restraint wit a solid strike across his wild lil' face. Then standin all-to-near ta Rand, Paitar Nachiman asks Rand tha answer ta a riddle involvin Tellindal Tirraso. Paitr steps down when Rand lyrics erectly. They all sit tha fuck down ta formerly say shit bout mattas when Rand asks fo' they oath of obedience up in exchange fo' his ass ta teach tha Borderlander rulaz Aes Sedai tha secret of Travelin yo. Dude asks dem ta fight under his banner up in tha Last Battle or ta sit up in tha middle of nowhere n' have any suckas do tha fighting.

Rand is travelin within his cold-ass trips when dat schmoooove muthafucka hears a scream of pain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude goes ta tha area where tha soundz of distress is comin from n' findz a thugged-out dark, light-less cave. Inside he findz Cyndane up in agony. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch begs his ass fo' help n' apologizes fo' every last muthafuckin thang she put his ass all up in before bein dragged outta tha trip by her torturer.

Da Dragonz Peace

Afta bein months apart, Perrin n' Rand finally catch up wit each other all up in tha Field of Merrilor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Rand notices Perrinz growth n' how tha fuck dat schmoooove muthafucka has become a natural leader n' shit. Perrin lendz Sebban Balwer ta Rand, n' they go visit his muthafuckin ass. Balwer reports dat all tha monarchz of tha ghetto is ghon be present at Randz meetin on tha morrow. Rand also learns dat Elayne is pregnant n' dat da thug is ghon be a gangbangin' daddy n' shiznit fo' realz. Afta dat schmoooove muthafucka has been on tha Field of Merrilor fo' a while, Aviendha visits his ass up in his cold-ass tent n' insists upon beddin him, tha maidens audibly voicin approval up in tha traditionizzle Aiel manner of shoutin disses. Upon awakening, Aviendha asks dat he grant her a funky-ass boon, without spittin some lyrics ta his ass what tha fuck it is. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch explains dat dat biiiiatch will know what tha fuck ta request durin tha meeting, n' he promises ta grant it, whatever it may be. Rand then has a "shower" wit her, channelin wata n' soap round them, as was done up in tha Age of Legends.

While asleep, he is pulled tha fuck into Moridinz dreamshard cuz of they connection. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Rand reveals dat he knows dat Lanfear lives again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Moridin drops some lyrics ta his ass dat her name is now Cyndane n' she now hates Rand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! They rap battle tha point ta they never-endin cycle of battles. Rand releases his wild lil' full ta'veren nature n' causes sunlight ta stream all up in tha cloudz n' cause all tha dyin grasslandz round ta become lush n' chronic again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Moridin is shocked by what tha fuck dat schmoooove muthafucka has peeped n' flees tha dream.

Durin tha meeting, almost every last muthafuckin hood is represented; includin some dat was considered inconsequential n' powerless until dis time. Once all dem fools dat is goin ta git all up in is present, Rand reveals a thugged-out document dat he names "Da Dragonz Peace". Once da perved-out muthafucka states tha basic principle of it, Elayne snatches it from him, hastily readin it fo' mo' detail. Once smalla copies is distributed n' tha rulaz begin reading, it becomes clear dat they would not willingly sign such a thang, mostly cuz it fixed they bordaz where they were, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Rand, bein prepared fo' this, explains dat they have no chizzle. If they refused ta sign it, da thug would refuse ta sacrifice his dirty ass ta grill tha Dark One.

As tha chaos proceeds, a gangbangin' figure entas tha tent whoz ass silences everyone, Rand included. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Moiraine quells tha chaos, quotin prophesy ta make it clear dat these events was necessary n' expected. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time fo' realz. As she make it known dat her ass is still kickin it, tha mackdaddys, biatchs, n' even Nynaeve express joy at her return, so check it before ya wreck it. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Moiraine manages ta convince dem present dat tha document is worth signin yo, but it is still unanimous dat some details remain ta be hit dat shiznit out.

It be at dis time dat Aviendha reveals tha nature of her boon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Seekin ta prevent tha future her big-ass booty saw up in her vision, she requests dat Rand include tha Aiel up in tha Dragonz Peace. Rand agrees ta dis when tha other Wise Ones express they support, n' Perrin convinces Rand ta give dem a gangbangin' further purpose. Peepin dis line of thought, Rand assigns tha Aiel ta be tha enforcerz of tha Dragonz Peace. To settle tha Seanchan issue, he also addz tha provision dat should it not be signed by tha Empress, tha document would be void. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! With these additions, tha rulaz sign.

Final farewells

Rand Travels ta tha Andoran war-front ta hook up wit Elayne. There they gotz a funky-ass big-ass rap on how tha fuck tha war progresses, tactics, tha art of rulin n' they babies Elayne carries inside her n' shit. They both KNOW tha pressurez of rulin n' ballistics which helps strength they connection n' ludd between each other n' shit. Elayne asks bout Rand bein Lews Therin n' instead of bein shocked by tha answer, da hoe believes dat it be a advantage ta have such wisdom fo' they cause. Rand discusses his ta'veren nature. Cuz of tha Dark One havin such a wack effect on tha ghetto at present, Rand is tha Balance, brangin up mo' random positizzle occurrences round his muthafuckin ass. Finally Rand gives her a Seed, up in tha hope dat dat thugged-out biiiatch can create a freshly smoked up angreal. In return Elayne gives his ass tha Dull dagger. Da two stay together fo' most of tha night. Rand next Travels ta Lanz camp. There he gifts Lan wit tha crown of Malkier fo' both his ass n' Nynaeve, pimped from oldschool drawings. Rand drops some lyrics ta Lan dat Elayne taught his ass ta rule yo, but Lan his dirty ass taught his ass ta stand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude then Travels up tha fuck into tha battle-front against Moirainez wishes. Rand starts burnin away Trollocs as da ruffneck did at Maradon, until chanelaz start throwin shieldz at his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude starts beatin tha livin shiznit outta tha Dreadlords where they hide until he realizes dat it is probably a trap fo' realz. A full circle of Dreadlordz throw a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shield at his ass n' he manages ta hold it back before escapin tha battle back all up in tha gateway his schmoooove ass pimped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. Rand knows dat now aint tha time ta exhaust his dirty ass up on tha battlefield, as he need ta be full game fo' his confrontation wit tha Dark One yo. Dude realizes dat chanelaz is on tha battle-field lookin fo' his ass specifically ta battle his ass when he appears. Rand can no longer fight tha Last Battle up in tha open no mo' n' will gotta leave it ta others.

Da night before tha commencement of tha Last Battle, Rand is struttin all up in one of his fuckin lil' dreamshardz dat schmoooove muthafucka has pimped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! This type'a shiznit happens all tha time. There he findz a thugged-out dark cavern not of his own creation. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude strutts up in n' findz Cyndane, apparently bein tortured by Moridin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch attempts ta manipulate Rand tha fuck into helpin her but Rand, havin integrated Lews Therinz memories tha fuck into his own, recognized dat dat biiiiatch was fakin her torment up in order ta engender his sympathy. Found out, dat thugged-out biiiatch ceased her charade n' tha two conversed fo' a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass short time. Durin dis conversation, Rand offered her one last chizzle fo' redemption, n' prompted her ta let his ass peep inside her mind up in order ta examine her sinceritizzle up in acceptin his offer n' shit. Though appearin ta genuinely consider allowin Rand ta peep tha fuck into her mind, she ultimately refused, citin her recent torments as havin caused her ta mistrust Randz intentions. Rand however, understood dat Cyndane could simply not let go of her desire fo' power, n' flossed her his own mind up in order ta make her KNOW dat tha only feelin da perved-out muthafucka still had fo' her was pity; not affection fo' they past relationshizzle, n' not anger or bitternizz over her betrayals fo' realz. As da ruffneck departed, Rand simply holla'd at her ta make her muthafuckin ass scarce durin tha Last Battle.

Rand Travels ta Shayol Ghul n' tests whether tha dull dagger works. While Rand is there, Perrin approaches his ass n' asks if his schmoooove ass can create a gateway tha fuck into tel'aran'rhiod, where da thug will enta up in tha flesh. Rand warns his ass dat it is evil but complies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Da two say a gangbangin' final farewell ta each other n' embrace. Perrin asks fo' a gateway ta be opened all up in tha Field of Merrilor once a thugged-out dizzle at dawn n' then steps all up in wit Gaul tha fuck into tel'aran'rhiod.

Rand then make his way back ta Braem Wood where Elaynez camp is. There he meets wit his wild lil' daddy fo' tha last time. Rand gives Justice ta his wild lil' father, apologizin fo' losin his original gangsta Heron-marked blade. Tam feels tha blade is ta phat fo' his ass yo, but Rand drops some lyrics ta his ass not a god damn thang is too phat fo' his wild lil' daddy n' shit. Tam drops some lyrics ta Rand dat tha flame n' tha void is never just bout weapons but centerin ones self. Tam asks Rand ta practice sword-play wit his muthafuckin ass. Da two trade blows wit each other fo' awhile but Rand findz it hard as fuck ta fight one handed, often revertin ta forms dat is two-handed by instinct n' fumblin dat shit. Tam then fights Rand one-handed as well. Rand findz it hard as fuck ta defend his wild lil' father, let ridin' solo pressin a battle yo. Dude keeps makin excuses fo' why he is findin tha bout so hard as fuck but realizes dat Tam be also disadvantaged n' still continues ta fight well. Durin they bout, Tam keeps spittin some lyrics ta Rand ta let every last muthafuckin thang go. Rand finally puts all his wild lil' fuckin emotions away n' concentrates on tha duel. Da pimps finally stop n' Tam drops some lyrics ta Rand dat dat schmoooove muthafucka had been carryin a massive weight. Rand looks down at his stump n' confirms all dis bullshit yo. Dude reflects lata on how tha fuck uplifted he feels afta bustin lyrics wit his wild lil' father.

Moiraine n' Rand gotz a moment ta catch up before he launches his whoopin' on Shayol Ghul. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch tries ta probe what tha fuck his thugged-out lil' plan be against tha Dark One. Rand drops some lyrics ta her dat da thug wishes ta make peace wit tha Seanchan first, as Mat is wit tha Empress now yo. Dude also reveals dat da thug wishes ta straight-up bust a cap up in tha Dark One, cuz of his ass not bein apart of tha Pattern, so check it before ya wreck it. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Moiraine do not believe it cannot be done yo. Dude drops some lyrics ta her dat schmoooove muthafucka has mo' wisdom over his thugged-out accrued gametime countin Lews Therinz game yo, but da hoe brushes it off knowin he only has tha memories. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch then commandz his ass ta make his ass some tea, which Rand moves off ta comply with, before realizin what tha fuck she just did ta his muthafuckin ass.

Final piece ta peace

Rand appears before Fortuona, unarmed n' shielded, n' admits dat he used Mat ta track her down. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. While starin at possible execution, Rand n' Mat begin comparin exploits, tryin ta one-up tha other n' shiznit fo' realz. Afta Rand concludes dat tha cleansin of saidin trumps all Matz accomplishments, his thugged-out lil' punk-ass begins ta rip apart Fortuonaz logic behind her right ta rule; forcin her ta admit dat he is Dragon Reborn n' dat dat schmoooove muthafucka held dominion over these landz well before Artur Hawkwin fuckin started tha Consolidation, as Lews Therin Telamon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch yo. Dude gives her a bangin omen ta support his Peace, by rappin a cold lil' woo wop dat causes tha garden ta grow right before they eyes fo' realz. Afta disputin tha bordaz of Almoth Plain n' tha Marath'damane captured up in tha main land, Rand then kneels in-front of Fortuona n' raises his thugged-out arm up ta her n' shit. Rand n' tha Empress smoke ta sign tha Dragonz Peace, n' tha Seanchan decizzle ta enta tha Last Battle by helpin tha overwhelmed forcez of tha White Tower n' shit. Before Mat leaves, tha pimpin' muthafucka drops some lyrics ta Rand dat da perved-out muthafucka saved Moiraine, thereby whoopin tha cleansin of tha source. Rand laughs.

Rand Travels from battle-front ta battle-front rockin tha Mirror of Mists weave ta conceal his own identitizzle yo. Dude uses Jur Gradyz grill while fightin up in tha Andoran front fo' realz. As tha cloudz begin ta disperse round Rand revealin his thugged-out lil' presence, da ruffneck drops tha weave showin his dirty ass ta his crazy-ass pimps dat fight up in his name. While Rand waits wit Min at Merrilor, he reflects on how tha fuck da thug would have fallen durin tha dark minutes without Min. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Cadsuane has a last word wit Rand alone, before his strike on Shayol Ghul. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch drops some lyrics ta Rand dat da perved-out muthafucka should not assume da thug will take a thugged-out dirtnap at Shayol Ghul. Cadsuane be also pleased wit how tha fuck dat schmoooove muthafucka has turned out. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch then asks bout what tha fuck Rand expects ta do bout tha Black Tower n' shit. Rand knows it aint nuthin but a trap n' is hesitant ta answer n' shit. Cadsuane reveals they have freed theyselves but is recoverin from they ordeal.

Rand meets wit Egwene before he goes ta Shayol Ghul yo. Dude shows her a ribbon dat schmoooove muthafucka had kept fo' her, fo' when Egwene waz of age ta braid her hair. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Da two embrace each other, even though they still do not peep eye ta eye bout tha matta of tha seals. Rand reveals dat Galad is his-half brother, which shocks Gawyn. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Rand asks ta peep tha seals one last time yo. Dude goes still when tha pimpin' muthafucka touches dem n' asks if her ass is tryin ta fool dem wild-ass muthafuckas. Rand drops some lyrics ta Egwene dat what tha fuck they hold aint up in fact tha seals but duplicates fo' realz. At some stage Darkfriendz must have jacked dem n' now have tha Dark One has tha keys ta his own prison.

Randz army finally Travels ta Thakan'dar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Rand confirms ta Aviendha dat Artham hit dat shiznit n' tha Dark One couldn't detect his muthafuckin ass. Da two stand side by side together n' Rand drops some lyrics ta her dat tha Dark Ones minions have tha seals yo. Dude drops some lyrics ta Aviendha dat thugged-out biiiatch cannot enta tha Pit of Doom wit his ass yo, but instead places her up in charge of tha channelaz at Shayol Ghul. Rand then sendz Min ta tha Aes Sedai war-camp, where he fears some sort of battle there is immanent. Nynaeve confronts Rand over tha the flaw up in Callandor n' warns dat Rand could be trapped if tha pimpin' muthafucka tries ta use dat shit. Rand is determined ta still take dat shit.

Da Dragon vs Da Dark One

While tha Aiel, Tairen n' Dragonsworn army launch a whoopin' on tha valley of Takan'dar, Rand takes tha opportunitizzle ta enta Shayol Ghul fo' realz. As he reaches tha entrizzle ta tha Pit of Doom, Thom declares dat da thug will wait all up in tha entrizzle fo' dem wild-ass muthafuckas fo' realz. A massive cloud of dark then covers tha entire sky, blottin up tha sun. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Finally tha sun re-emerges from behind tha dark cloud. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Nynaeve notices dat Randz wound on his side has fucked up open. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Blood pours down tha fuck into his boot n' onto tha dark rockz of Shayol Ghul below. Rand asks Nynaeve n' Moiraine ta link wit his ass n' dat da thug will control tha circle. They is fearful cuz of tha flaw up in Callandor but oblige fo' realz. As they strutt towardz tha Pit, a funky-ass bangin voice cries out:

"IT IS TIME. LET THE TASK BE UNDERTAKEN."

Rand aint surprised n' is reassured by dat shit.

As Rand strutts all up in tha cavern, da perved-out muthafucka senses dat tha Dark One was unaware of his thugged-out lil' presence. Da cavern reduces up in size but Rand refuses ta go on, n' tha cavern grindz back ta its original gangsta shape. Rand strutts on leavin a puddle of blood behind his muthafuckin ass yo. Dude can sense dat one of tha biatch Bonded ta his ass is up in pain. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Moridin waits up in front of Rand, wit tha blacknizz of not a god damn thang behind his muthafuckin ass. Da husk of a Myrddraal lies on tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Moridin proposes a thugged-out duel up in order ta weaken Rand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Rand asks Moridin ta step aside yo, but Moridin mocks his thugged-out attempt ta brang his ass back ta tha Light. Da two begin they swordfight.

It be axed dat dis article or section be expanded wit additionizzle shiznit. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Please remove dis notice afta it has been expanded.

-"Surprisin what tha fuck you can dig outta books if you read long enough, aint it?" - Rand al'Thor

Madness

Channelin tha tainted saidin had tha unpleasant side-effect of causin madness, which occurs sooner or lata ta all thug channelers. For Rand, dat meant nuff muthafuckin typez of psychedelic symptoms includin hearin Lews Therinz voice up in his head but none of dem was explicitly stated dat they was caused by tha Taint fo' realz. An other explanation can be tha process of mergin wit Lews Therin ta fulfill tha prophecies had ta happen dis way yo. Dude feared dat kind of madnizz durin his cold-ass two muthafuckin years from tha last time his schmoooove ass channeled tha One Power, until he juiced it up ta Shayol Ghul fo' realz. Although da perved-out muthafucka flossed nuff muthafuckin psychedelic symptoms, all of dem can also be explained by all tha off tha hook circumstances dat schmoooove muthafucka had ta go under n' shit. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Such heat n' stress naturally would cause such symptoms on any human being.

Afta Nynaeve discovers dat dat thugged-out biiiatch could Heal tha taint-caused madnizz of tha Asha'man she Delves Rand as well fo' madness, n' her dope ass discovers dat tha entirety of his crazy-ass mind is so heavily covered wit tha wizzy of tiny thornz of blacknizz dat it seemed impossible ta her ta remove. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch is surprised by how tha fuck could Rand even think wit dat on his dome. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But she also discovers dat there is some sort of protection-lookin glowin white insulation between tha wizzy of thorns n' his dome. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. "Light given form n' game. Coated each of tha dark tines, rollin tha fuck into Randz mind alongside dem wild-ass muthafuckas."

Madness-like Symptoms

Hearin tha Dragon at seemingly random times, as well as memories n' knowledge from his thugged-out lil' past game as Lews Therin formin tha basis fo' a second personality, one dat was preoccupied wit fear, anger, n' grief related ta his thugged-out lil' past mistakes.

At first it seemed dat memories from his thugged-out lil' past game was simply comin back ta Rand, as when Lanfear confronted his ass up in Tear, n' Rand shouted at her bout how tha fuck she always loved juice n' shit. Rand knew dis thought as truth but didn't give a fuck all up in tha time from where it came. While at Rhuidean, mo' thoughts dat rocked up ta come from Lews Therin Telamon juiced it up tha fuck into Randz head, like fuckin a cold-ass lil clear picture of what tha fuck Ilyena Therin Moerelle looked like n' memory of suttin' referred ta as tha Can Breat (though full recollection of its significizzle escaped him).

As time progressed n' mo' memories came back ta Rand, tha onset of some kind of close-to-madnizz psychedelic state of his characta became evident yo. Dude was aware of it n' tried ta control dat shit. Da earliest indicationz of dis was tha times when Rand became trippin bout his crazy-ass muthafuckin identity, as shown when Mat found Rand unresponsive ta his own name yo, but he responded immediately ta "Lews Therin." At tha battle of Cairhien when Rand was fightin tha Shaido, his thugged-out lil' punk-ass became exhausted from overuse ofyo. Dude forgot whoz ass da thug was n' started poppin' off ta Asmodean, bout when Tel Janin became tha Destroyer of Hope ( Sammael ). From Randz point of view, his thugged-out lil' punk-ass fuckin started ta hear Lews Therin as a separate thug up in his head, one dat grew mo' n' mo' n' mo' stronger n' shit. Funnily sometimes Lews Therinz voice is tha one expressin dat dat schmoooove muthafucka hears Rand up in his head.

When Rand was kidnapped by Elaidaz Aes Sedai, they start ta have rap battlez wit each other n' shit. Da voice of Lews Therin respondz ta Randz thangs yo. Dude gives his ass lyrics on how tha fuck ta break tha invisible saidar shield dat was blockin his ass from saidin.

While fightin against Lanfear up in Cairhien, tha personalitizzle of Lews Therin tries ta take control of Randz body fo' tha last time. Rand found his dirty ass occupied wit not only tryin n' keep saidin from sweepin his ass away while channelin yo, but tryin ta maintain control over his dirty ass.

Da last time Rand kicked it wit Mazrim Taim, Lews Therin fuckin started ta rave bout tha Forsaken n' wanted ta bust a cap up in Taim immediatly. Rand screamed at Lews Therin ta shut tha fuck up, which da ruffneck done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Meanin dat either Randz madnizz had crossed another threshold, �" his ass poppin' off ta his second personalitizzle n' dat thug listenin ta him, �" or as part of tha mergin process wit tha ass of Lews Therin they connection grew stronger n' Lews Therin can hear his ass n' react ta what tha fuck Rand has holla'd ta his muthafuckin ass. When Rand drops some lyrics ta Taim ta seize as much holla'din as his schmoooove ass can, Rand suddenly findz his dirty ass holdin saidin as well, seemin ta indicate dat Lews Therin has straight-up made his ass seizin it fo' realz. A mo' explicit incident occurred when trollocs beat down tha manor up in Tear where Rand was staying. Lews Therin literally seized saidin from Rand n' used nuff muthafuckin weaves dat none of tha Asha'man, includin Rand his dirty ass, had eva peeped before fo' realz. Although Lews Therin had tha control over holla'din da ruffneck did not have tha control over Randz body, e.g. his schmoooove ass could not lift Randz handz up, which was necessary ta weave.

Afta his wild lil' fuckin epiphany n' redemption on Dragonmount, Lews Therinz voice disappear n' Rand realizes dat they is one thug n' dat shiznit was always meant ta be like that, only his schmoooove ass could not accept dat until now yo. Dude has Lews Therin merged wit his dirty ass n' possesses all memoriez of both. This rather indicates dat all what tha fuck was caused by Lews Therin was never symptomz of madness, only tha process of they merging.

When Rand visits Egwene up in tha White Tower wit his crazy-ass merged personalitizzle n' he openly talks bout dat they is one thug now n' Lews Therinz game appears as a cold-ass lil clear trip ta Rand, n' also shares his thugged-out lil' plan ta break tha remainin sealz of tha prison of tha Dark One, Egwene thangs his sanitizzle n' be thinkin dat dis behaviour is caused by his crazy-ass madnizz from tha taint on holla'din. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Such behaviour would step tha fuck up as symptomz of madnizz ta mah playas whoz ass do not know dat dis must happen ta tha Dragon Reborn ta be able ta succeed up in tha Last Battle, which at dat point is tha case fo' Egwene.

Possible compulsion

Yo, nuff muthafuckin times durin his crazy-ass muthafuckin interaction wit Lanfear it seems like she used straight-up light Compulsion on his muthafuckin ass.[verify]

His connection ta Moridin

Rand fuckin started ta suffer from another menstrual n' seemingly metaphysical ailment, whose onset was brought on durin his battle wit Sammael up in Shadar Logoth. Durin tha battle, a playa dat Rand do not recognize rocked up, n' they accidentally crossed streamz of balefire. Rand did not peep tha manz weaves, indicatin dat da thug was rockin tha True Power rather than saidin. Because of some not yet understood side effect of dis crossin of balefire streams, Rand is now linked wit tha dude, whoz ass was lata revealed ta be Moridin. Because of dis link, Rand now occasionally sees Moridinz grill up in his crazy-ass mind as well. Da link goes both ways, as Moridin can feel when Rand is physically fucked up yo. Dude has had trips up in which Moridin speaks ta him, much as Ishamael once done did.

Relationships

"Do you ludd both of them?"

"Maybe I do. Light help me, I be thinkin maybe I do. Do dat make me a lecher, or just a greedy fool?"

—Min n' Rand, Lord of Chaos

Rand is bonded ta his cold-ass three freaks, Min Farshaw, Elayne Trakand, n' Aviendha of tha Nine Valleys sept of tha Taardad Aiel; he be also unwillingly bonded ta Alanna Mosvani. Elayne is pregnant wit his cold-ass twins fo' realz. Accordin ta Minz viewings, Aviendha gonna git four lil pimps from him, all at once. [verify] Minz significizzle is pronounced well before tha Last Battle.

"Rand put his thugged-out arm round her [Min] waist. Light, what tha fuck would dat schmoooove muthafucka have done without her, biatch? I'd have fallen, tha pimpin' muthafucka thought. Durin tha dark months... I'd have fallen fo' certain."

Dude be advised mostly by Cadsuane Sedai, n' tha Wise One Sorilea. They have pledged ta teach his ass "laughta n' tears" yo. Dude was also advised by Moiraine Damodred before her sacrifice.

Viewings

A sword dat aint a sword ( fulfilled - refers ta Callandor ).

- refers ta ). A golden crown of laurel leaves ( fulfilled - he now rulez Illian, accepted tha Laurel Crown, n' renamed it tha Crown of Swords).

- he now rulez Illian, accepted tha Laurel Crown, n' renamed it tha Crown of Swords). A beggarz staff ( fulfilled by his visit ta Ebou Dar).

by his visit ta Ebou Dar). Pourin wata on sand ( fulfilled - refers ta when Rand creates drizzle up in tha Aiel Waste, or ta openin a underground river at Rhuidean, or may refer ta tha attempted healin of tha wound on his side, of which tha flowz of juice sink tha fuck into it "like wata tha fuck into sand", or may refer ta tha Prophecy of Rhuidean dat mentions his ass spillin tha blood of tha Aiel "as wata on sand").

- refers ta when Rand creates drizzle up in tha Aiel Waste, or ta openin a underground river at Rhuidean, or may refer ta tha attempted healin of tha wound on his side, of which tha flowz of juice sink tha fuck into it "like wata tha fuck into sand", or may refer ta tha Prophecy of Rhuidean dat mentions his ass spillin tha blood of tha Aiel "as wata on sand"). A bloody hand n' a white bangin' iron (partially fulfilled wit Semirhage blowin his hand off, tha other half could refer ta Semirhagez dirtnap as balefire is often busted lyrics bout as a funky-ass bar of white bangin' iron).

Three dem hoes standin over a gangbangin' funeral bier wit Rand on it (the three dem hoes is Min, Aviendha n' Elayne).

Black rock wet wit blood (Clear reference ta tha Karaethon Cycle -"His blood on tha rockz of Shayol Ghul, washin away tha shadow, sacrifice fo' manz salvation."-).

Rand is ghon be hurt by Aes Sedai ( fulfilled refers ta when tha White Tower Aes Sedai captured Rand, kept his ass up in a funky-ass box n' beat him).

refers ta when tha White Tower Aes Sedai captured Rand, kept his ass up in a funky-ass box n' beat him). Dragonmount is peeped cloaked up in shadows from storm clouds, then a pinprick of light will burst all up in tha storm cover ( fulfilled - refers ta tha land covered up in cloudz n' Rand havin his wild lil' fuckin epiphany).

- refers ta tha land covered up in cloudz n' Rand havin his wild lil' fuckin epiphany). An open cavern, gapin like a grill (could refer ta tha Bore).

Bloodstained rocks ( fulfilled - his oldschool wound openin at Shayol Ghul n' spillin blood onto tha rock).

- his oldschool wound openin at Shayol Ghul n' spillin blood onto tha rock). Two dead pimps on tha ground, surrounded by ranks n' rankz of Trollocs (like a reference ta Lanz charge all up in tha Shadowspawn up in Tarwinz Gap).

A pipe wit smoke curlin from dat shit. (fulfilled - signifies Randz mobilitizzle to channel bein replaced by havin tha juice to "Will" thangs tha fuck into existence up in tha Wakin World)

Significant possessions

Da first sword Rand eva owned, given ta his ass by Tam al'Thor on Winternight afta tha Trollocs beat down Emondz Field. Dat shiznit was made wit tha One Power n' had herons on tha hilt n' blade. Dat shiznit was lata fucked wit when Rand used it against Ishamael . By dis sword �" its heron-marked hilt �" was tha Prophecies fulfilled ta have both his thugged-out lil' palms branded wit Herons.

Callandor be a thug sa'angreal up in tha form of a cold-ass lil crystal sword, bangin enough ta fuck wit a cold-ass lil hood wit one blow. Well shiiiit, it is sometimes called tha "Sword That Cannot Be Touched" or "Sword That Is Not a Sword," references ta its protection by wards n' legit nature as a thang of tha One Power, though it is sturdy enough ta be used as a edged weapon.

Callandor possesses some straight-up flaws. Da first becomes apparent durin tha shadowspawn whoopin' on tha Stone of Tear, when Rand feels dat dat schmoooove muthafucka holdz enough juice ta bust a cap up in every last muthafuckin Trolloc- everywhere, n' knows dat bustin so would bust a cap up in his ass like a muthafucka yo. Dude also tries ta brang a thugged-out dead hoe back ta game, frontin dat his schmoooove ass could do anythang wit Callandor. Da failure causes his ass ta finally release tha source yo, but tha increased access ta saidin also magnifies tha taint n' seeps it tha fuck into his muthafuckin ass.

Afta his wild lil' failed assault on Ebou Dar,[verify] Cadsuane Melaidhrin drops some lyrics ta his ass dat tha sword can only be safely used a cold-ass lil circle wit two dem hoes, wit one of tha dem hoes up in control of tha circle.

Before tha Last Battle, Rand realizes why Min calls tha sword a "fearful (or dreadful) blade."[verify] Da sword not only magnifies tha True Source, it also magnifies tha True Power, makin it a pimped outa temptation than tha Choedan Kal.

Da fat bald playa angreal be a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shiny chronic stone carvin of a gangbangin' fat bald playa wit a sword; found by Rand, n' lost durin tha Battle of Dumaiz Wells.

Rand recovers tha angreal prior ta tha Last Battle [verify] n' gives it tha Asha'man as a partin gift along wit his Final Ordaz ta tha Black Tower n' shit. Logain uses tha angreal ta enhizzle tha powerz of his circle durin tha Last Battle on tha Field of Merrilor.

Da Choedan Kal is two giant sa'angreal dat was pimped durin tha Battle of Power, one fo' a playa n' one fo' a biatch. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. They is tha two most bangin sa'angreal eva pimped n' can only be used wit they special Keys providin safe buffer ta tha channelers. There was mo' Keys pimped fo' dem n' Rand findz one unharmed set of Keys up in Rhuidean. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Lata he uses dem wit tha help of Nynaeve ta cleanse tha saidin from tha Taint. Da Key fo' tha biatch part is fucked wit durin tha process. Da thug sa'angreal itself was fucked wit by Rand willingly durin his wild lil' fight wit tha Shadow on Dragonmount.

Lamanz Sword

Afta cappin' him, tha Aiel kept Laman Damodredz sword as a trophy. Dat shiznit was a straight-up rich sword, wit a ivory hilt, n' a gold pommel encrusted wit gemstones; a juice wrought blade refitted fo' ostentation, not fo' combat. Decades later, Aviendha offered it ta Rand up in order ta free her muthafuckin ass of tha toh she incurred when Rand innocently gave her a funky-ass bracelet as a gift. Rand accepted tha heron marked blade itself yo, but chose ta let Aviendha keep tha unnecessarily gaudy sheath n' hilt. Rand carries dis sword wit his ass ta Shayol Ghul.

Dragon Belt Buckle

A belt wit a funky-ass buckle up in tha shape of tha dragons dat mark a clan chizzle n' tha Car'a'carn, given ta Rand by Aviendha.Da spears Aviendha used as a maiden was melted n' crafted ta make Randz buckle.

Da Dragon Scepter was a Seanchan spear cut cleanly up in half by a cold-ass lil closin gateway, afta Rand n' Aviendhaz brief visit ta tha Seanchan continent. Rand used it as a scepta n' kept it ta remind his ass dat da thug was surrounded by enemies. Put ya muthafuckin choppers up if ya feel dis! Da Maidenz of tha Spear lata carved dragons onto tha wooden shaft. Dat shiznit was fucked wit when Semirhage beat down Rand wit fire.

Da Crown of Swords is tha crown worn by tha mackdaddy of Illian. Dat shiznit was formerly known as tha Laurel Crown but was renamed by tha current mackdaddy Rand al'Thor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Dat shiznit was renamed cuz it gotz nuff lil' small-ass swordz hidden amongst tha laurel leaves dat prick his skull.

Da Dragon Sword

Da Dragon sword has been uncovered shortly before tha Last Battle n' was given ta Rand which dat schmoooove muthafucka has recognized n' decided ta wear despite it bein a two-handed sword of which his schmoooove ass could not wield no mo'. Da scabbard is lacquered black wit a long, sinuous, red-and-gold dragon decoratin it n' tha blade aint heron-marked. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! When dat shiznit was given ta him, Rand recognized tha sword from his own memories not from Lews Therinz n' it bein identified as Justice brangs up interestin thoughts.

Rand gives tha sword ta his wild lil' daddy before his fuckin lil' departure ta Shayol Ghul as a gangbangin' farewell gift. Tam uses tha sword durin tha Last Battle on tha Field of Merrilor so as Artur Hawkwing afta bein summoned by tha Horn of Valere.

References n' similarities

As tha books have progressed, Rand has become less involved up in tha narratizzle while remainin tha central character n' shit. In Da Dragon Reborn, tha rap was up in fact holla'd at almost exclusively from tha points-of-view of Mat Cauthon, Perrin Aybara n' Egwene al'Vere, despite all three partizzles eventually followin Rand ta Tear ta be present when he pulls tha sword Callandor from tha Heart of tha Stone, proclaimin his dirty ass tha Dragon Reborn, so check it before ya wreck it. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Subsequent books have also followed tha adventurez of other characters, though Rand continues ta git a perspective.

To Tiwaz, Tyr, Zeus, n' Jupiter

Over tha course of tha story, Rand has been shown ta have nuff similaritizzles ta Tiwaz, tha prototypical deitizzle from which Tyr, Zeus n' Jupiter was pimped. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Rand is most likely descended from Rhea, a parallel ta Rhea, mutha of Zeus.

Randz ludd fo' three dem hoes (Elayne Trakand, tha mutha of his cold-ass two children; Aviendha, a Aiel n' forma Maiden of tha Spear; n' Min Farshaw, whoz ass has tha mobilitizzle ta peep tha future) is similar ta Jupiter of Roman mythology, whoz ass loved three mortal dem hoes wit similar traits (all of whom is now referenced among tha moonz of tha hood Jupiter).

Tyrz hand was bitten off by tha wolf Fenrisulfr. In Knife of Dreams , Rand lost his fuckin left hand fightin tha Forsaken Semirhage.

, Rand lost his fuckin left hand fightin tha Forsaken Semirhage. Finally, Tyr, Jupita n' Zeus was all godz of justice. This tizzles up in wit Rand unitin most of tha ghetto under his bangin rule, breakin some traditions n' startin freshly smoked up ones.

To Wiccan archetypes

Randz "three dem hoes" also echo tha Wiccan tradizzle of tha triple goddess (Maiden-Mother-Crone). This would make Rand tha equivalent of tha Celtic deitizzle Cernunnos, a point which is reinforced by a prophecy which speakz of his ass rappin "that tha fieldz will brang forth lambs n' chronic thangs".

To Pizzle Atreides

Rand is similar ta Pizzle Atreides up in Dune up in dat they is both pimps whoz ass possess powers wielded only by dem hoes durin tha timeline of they respectizzle stories.

up in dat they is both pimps whoz ass possess powers wielded only by dem hoes durin tha timeline of they respectizzle stories. Da Aiel, whoz ass become Randz most loyal fightin force, is mo' than similar ta tha Fremen of Dune.

Both Rand n' Pizzle is peeped as messiahs up in they respectizzle sagas, n' they is both different messiahs fo' different people. Pizzle is tha Kwisatz Haderach ta most of tha universe yo, but ta tha Fremen, he is tha Mahdi n' tha Lisan al Gaib. Rand is tha Dragon Reborn ta tha Wetlandaz yo, but ta tha Aiel, he is Dude Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck Comes With Da Dawn n' tha Car'a'carn , n' ta tha Atha'an Miere , he is tha Coramoor.

, n' ta tha , he is tha Coramoor. Rand wit tha Aes Sedai n' Pizzle wit tha Bene Gesserit Sisterhood share similar relationshizzles.

To Jizzy

Like Jizzy of Nazareth up in Da Bizzle , Rand is considered ta be a savior, busted by a supernatural force ta save all of humanitizzle from tha forcez of darkness.

, Rand is considered ta be a savior, busted by a supernatural force ta save all of humanitizzle from tha forcez of darkness. Jizzy is refered as tha Dope Shepard, while Randz forma profession was dat of a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty-ass shepherd. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Rand be also refered ta as "Sheep Herder" by both Min n' Lan.

It has been suggested nuff muthafuckin times dat Rand will take a thugged-out dirtnap up in tha process of savin tha ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! In Lord of Chaos Rand revealed one part of a answer dat schmoooove muthafucka had from tha Aelfinn: 'To live, you must take a thugged-out dirt nap.'

Rand revealed one part of a answer dat schmoooove muthafucka had from tha Aelfinn: 'To live, you must take a thugged-out dirt nap.' Resurection: In Lord of Chaos Nicola predicts "Three on tha boat, n' da thug whoz ass is dead yet lives." Also it has been stated at least once dat Nynaeve won't be satisfied until da hoe brangs one of mah thugs back whoz ass has been dead fo' three days.

Nicola predicts "Three on tha boat, n' da thug whoz ass is dead yet lives." Also it has been stated at least once dat Nynaeve won't be satisfied until da hoe brangs one of mah thugs back whoz ass has been dead fo' three days. Both was peeped by nuff of they contemporaries as bein agentz of chaos n' disorder.

When Rand dies, it is holla'd dat his body is ghon be peeped over by three dem hoes (his freaks, Elayne, Min n' Aviendha); when Jizzy died, his body was peeped over by three dem hoes.

Many of tha markings on Randz body is similar ta tha woundz inflicted on Jizzy durin tha crucifixion: His handz was nailed ta tha cross, da thug was jabbed up in tha side by tha Spear of Destiny, n' wore a cold-ass lil crown of thorns. Both of Randz handz done been branded wit tha heron mark, da thug was jabbed up in tha side by Ba'alzamonz staff, n' da thug wears tha Crown of Swords.

Jizzy started doin thangs ta a virgin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Rand started doin thangs ta a Maiden.

Masema states "There is no way ta tha Light save all up in tha Lord Dragon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Yo ass will peep tha way n' tha real deal up in tha end..." (in Da Firez of Heaven Ch. 39). In Jizzy 14:6, Jizzy cook up a similar statement of his dirty ass sayin "I be tha way, tha real deal, n' tha game. No one goes ta tha Father except all up in mah dirty ass."

Rand was tempted by tha Dark One whoz ass promised his ass honor, power, etc. if da thug would only bow down n' serve his muthafuckin ass. Jizzy was also tempted wit riches n' juice up in tha desert. Rand almost succumbed ta tha temptations (Towerz of Midnight: Perrin notes while up in tha Wolf Dream), n' Jizzy was tha Son of Dogg yo, but was also human, so susceptible ta fallin ta sin.

In tha Book of Revelation up in tha Bizzle, it say "the Lamb broke tha seventh seal on tha scroll" (Rev. 8:1). Da Lamb is one of Jizzyz titles; n' tha seventh seal is tha final seal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. Rand has declared dat da thug would break tha seventh n' last seal.

To Mackdaddy Arthur

Just as Mack Arthur -- tha legit Mackdaddy -- was tha only one whoz ass could take Caladbolg from tha stone, Rand -- tha legit Dragon Reborn -- was tha only one whoz ass could take Callandor from tha Stone of Tear fo' realz. Also, al'Thor is pronounced similarly ta Arthur, just as Callandor is likely meant ta be a origin of tha disambiguation dat is "Caladbolg" fo' realz. Additionally tha incorrect assumption dat Excalibur was tha Sword up in tha Stone is, up in fact wrong, tha Excalibur legend be reppin "the lady up in tha lake" afta Arthurz original gangsta sword was fucked wit.

Arthur is tha lil hustla of Biatch Igraine; Rand is tha lil hustla of Tigraine Mantear.

Arthurz surname was Pendragon, n' his banner was a red dragon, much like Rand's.

On his thugged-out lil' passing, Arthur was borne off ta Avalon on a funky-ass barge wit three dem hoes. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. In Minz viewin noted above, Rand is ghon be attended by three dem hoes on a funky-ass boat.

Arthur was wed ta Guinevere; Rand believed da thug would one dizzle marry Egwene al'Vere.

Arthurs magician (i.e. sorcerer) advisor was Merlin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. One of Randz mentors is Thom Merrilin a Gleeman (bard / musical muthafucka / gangbangin muthafucka) whoz ass among other game can big-ass up deft slight of hand tricks (illusionist / magician). Rand was also advised by tha Forsaken Asmodean, a funky-ass bard n' a cold-ass lil channela n' shit.

In addizzle ta Thom Merrilin, Moirainez name bears a resemblizzle ta dat of Merlin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch spendz tha bulk of her time up in tha series guidin Rand n' advisin his ass ta fulfill his bangin role up in prophecy, like Merlin advised Mackdaddy Arthur. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Before he knew much of anythang bout channeling, dat biiiiatch was his thugged-out lil' principle source of knowledge bout magic.

Da real-life Arthur was a Celtic mackdaddy, n' nuff of tha legendz concernin his ass iz of Celtic origin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da Two Rivers has occasionally been compared ta Walez or Ireland up in tha British Isles, both of which is considered Celtic. Furthermore, tha red Dragon be a major nationistic Welsh symbol n' features prominently on its flag.

Randz maimin n' wack game parallels tha Fisher Mackdaddy up in Arthurian myth.

Notes



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