7/30/2014

I was married to Cynthia for 14 years. We met in college at Ramapo in North Jersey in an English class entitled American Dreams and American Nightmares. It was part of our literature pre-requisites. I thoroughly enjoyed all of those classes, especially my creative writing class. My professor said I had a lot of talent as a writer and wanted me to head in that direction. However, I listened to my parents and became a business major instead. I now work as an actuary.



Don't get me wrong. I love being an actuary. There are non-stop challenges at my firm. I focus on developing risk models for parking garage firms throughout North America (we have a lot of Canadian business). There are a LOT of liability risks with parking garages -- from things like a fender bender from backing up (I did so myself once when I drove a Saturn) to someone falling off a top level plummeting to their death. I know that may seem horrible, but I've seen it happen in the course of my work. And if the owner of the parking garage is at fault for that, the personal injury liability risks are absurd, even if in Canada.



I never wanted to leave North Jersey but Cynthia wanted to go to Arcadia to get her master's degree in International Peace and Conflict Resolution, which is her line of work. She moved first while I stayed in Jersey. We still dated. A year later, she found out she was pregnant with our twin sons Bradley and Bryan. We got married soon after, and that's how I found out about the Montgomery County suburbs and Northwest Philadelphia.



However, in recent years, our relationship became strained. In retrospect, a lot of it was because I put too much emphasis on work as a means to hide my insecurities as a father and husband. (I had a father who would earn a five star review.) I said it was largely because, with my job, I could help us save up money for B'n'B (our nickname for the twins) to go to college and live out their dreams. But Cynthia reminded me that she had dreams, too, and my conservative nature put them to a halt.



She decided she no longer wanted to live with me. She now lives in Glenside with the kids while I live in Manayunk. They're just a short phone call away, but it feels like miles.



Splitting up was a gut-wrenching experience but for the best. From what I've been able to piece together from conversations with her and the kids, she's decided to really expand her life. She's really become interested in Indian culture and now takes yoga and frequently eats at Tiffin, which I've been told is delicious (but probably too spicy for me). She's also started to hang out with her new "friend" Doug, who is a personal trainer at the LA Fitness she now belongs to.



I'm happy for her, so I decided to order her flowers. I drove by Falls Flowers the other day when I was driving around the neighborhood with Tonya M., my new lady friend.



The staff was incredibly helpful, and helped me put together a wonderful bouquet filled with colors I can only describe as "explosive." I mean, these were really something else.



They also did a great job with the calligraphy-esque handwriting with the note I attached. In that note, I said: "Thank you, Cynthia, for making me a better person. You are a wonderful mother. Even though we are no longer married, I still love having you in my life and always will."



She sent me a text message telling me "Thx 4 the flowers w/ Doug, will call back later." She hasn't yet, but I know she will.



I would recommend Falls Flowers to anyone in the East Falls/Manayunk/Roxborough area who is taking initial steps to move on with their lives after a divorce with their wife.