Pin 2K 2K Shares

I had very little experience with letter writing when I first entered the world of penpaling and I cringe to think of what those letters must have sounded like. Well, actually, I destroyed the first couple; shredded them into little pieces so they would never see the light of day but the letters that followed were still pretty rough.

Like anything else in life, I learned the best way to improve my penpal letter writing skills was to practice and find my voice by writing. And writing. And then writing some more. I’m certainly not perfect, writing is a skill that you will spend a lifetime developing, but I have come a long way over the years and I wanted to share what I have learned in the hopes it might help someone else who is struggling.

I’ve also included some tips from other bloggers and snail mailers who are dedicated penpals so be sure to check out the links at the bottom of this post for even more helpful advice.

“Letters are among the most significant memorial a person can leave behind them”

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Think Ahead

Before you put pen to paper, take a second to think about what you want to say. Having a few key points in mind can help keep your thoughts in order while you write which will make it easier for your penpal to read later.

Same thing when you change subjects in your letter, make sure you have said everything you want to say before moving on.

Legible Handwriting

A common worry I hear from many of my friends is that their handwriting is too messy to write letters. If you are genuinely worried about this then you should start writing all the time. Write out your grocery lists, your to dos, write on your calendar, write all your school or work notes out by hand, and write in a journal as often as you can.

I’ve noticed a huge improvement in my penmanship since I started handwriting everything and, as a bonus, I find I remember things better that way too.

A good tip from my teacher long ago: always write small and take your time.

For ideas of letters you can write and send for practice, check out this list by long time letter writer Catherine from Green Fingerprint.

Related – Thrifty Snail Mail Ideas: Tips for Sourcing Supplies from Secondhand Stores

The First Letter

Ines Hristova, a talented mail artist and letter writer who runs To The Lovely, encourages those writing the first letter to get creative and “don’t just put dry information out there.” While the point of the first letter is to introduce yourself, you don’t need to list all your basic information right away.

Instead, Ines suggests, “tell them about the little things you love that make you different. If you share your passion about something with the other person it’s probable this will create a desire to answer back.”

If you hit it off with your new penpal then there will be many more letters to continue sharing facts about yourself so when it comes to the initial introduction, try focusing on the things that make you happy and share that excitement with your new friend.

Don’t forget to ask questions! Remember, open answer questions are what keep conversations going.

Related: Tips for Finding and Using Vintage Postage Stamps

Setting Expectations

If you haven’t already discussed your preferences before agreeing to exchange letters, it’s best to sort it out as soon as possible.

“People write different lengths of letter and at various frequencies,” says Lucy from The Pen Company, “it’s best to discuss this issue, and make sure everyone is happy with how it’s going to work going forward.”

You Are Interesting, I Promise

I don’t know what to write about myself…I’m just not that interesting…no one wants to read about my boring life…sound familiar?

To this Ines says: “If you think your daily life will not be so interesting to someone else – here is where you are wrong. You probably live in another country, with your customs, your beliefs – all of that is different to everybody.”

One of the best things about having a penpal is getting to learn first hand how others live and by exchanging letters with you, your penpal will get to see life from a new and interesting perspective!

I once exchanged multiple letters with a friend from France in which we discussed the differences in our education systems. Sounds riveting right? It actually was! Especially since France and Canada are quite different in that respect and we were both university students at the time.

Related: 9 Letter Folds That Will Impress Your Penpal

Keep it Balanced

While you are very interesting to read about, Lucy advises to always, “keep your writing balanced; don’t be tempted to write a solid monologue that’s just a list of things you like or list of things you’ve done recently.” Encourage conversation by telling insightful stories about yourself and asking relevant questions.

And that goes for the tone of your content as well, says Lucy, “if you need to have a little rant about work or college, do so, but keep it concise, and balance it out with something positive.”

Stay Focused

An important part of good letter writing is not getting distracted while you are trying to put your ideas together. Mike Kovacs from Songs In the Key of Ink encourages writers to put their cell phones down and not to worry about length, being perfect, or being clever. Just be honest and get writing.

Like any friend, your penpal deserves your full attention.

I like to turn on some music or go outside to write my letters, not only is it a more enjoyable experience overall but I feel like the letters are noticeably better too.

I once heard that a letter should be treated like a conversation with long pauses, don’t forget you are speaking to a person and that they are listening.

Related: DIY Accordion Envelope Letter

Writer’s Block

It happens to everyone. We’ve all sat staring at a blank piece of paper and had no idea how to get going and we’ve all put off sending a reply because we just didn’t know what to say.

If you’re feeling uninspired then try going for a walk and writing about where you went, tell your penpal about your favourite memory, or write about where you live. Sometimes I find starting with a very specific experience or topic can get the words flowing.

And don’t get hung up with the first line. There are many artful ways to begin a letter but a ‘Hello, I hope you are doing well’ will never go out of style.

“I didn’t have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead”

MarK Twain

Be Yourself

I’ve always believed that the quality of your letter is much more important than anything else.

If mail art isn’t your thing, then no sweat.

If you express yourself better visually than by written word, do what feels natural.

If you struggle to write multiple pages, then don’t.

If you want to write your heart out then find a penpal who loves long letters as much as you do.

Like avid snail mailer Anushka says, in order to write a great penpal letter you need to be “doing and creating whatever you genuinely like and want to share with others. Your mail should be something which you yourself would have liked to receive…it’s all about sharing in the end and exchanging warmth.”

Related: Top 10 Places To Find Postcards

“In an age like our, which is not given to letter-writing,

we forget what an important part it used to play in people’s lives”

Anatole Broyard

Stay Organized

I didn’t keep track of my incoming and outgoing letters when I first started and that came back to bite me more than once. You think you will remember what’s important but you won’t.

I wrote a whole post about keeping your postal correspondence organized which includes lots of tips and even a few free printable penpal record keepers!

Read more here:

How to Write an Awesome First Letter to Your Penpal by Ines Hristova

Tips for being a great penpal by Lucy

Ten Rules for Letter Writing by Mike Kocacs

Little Gifts You Can Send Your Penpal by Taylor Jordan

What do think makes for a great penpal letter? Let me know in the comments or contact me, we can chat about mail!

All the best,

Taylor