Ethan Sperry, 14, said he sometimes skips using the bathroom at school because he’s nervous about being harassed.

Sperry, who identifies as a transgender male, estimated he avoids public bathrooms as frequently as twice a month.

According to data from the 2015 U.S. Trans Survey released by the National Center for Transgender Equality, 59 percent of transgender people reported that they had avoided bathrooms in the past year for fear of confrontation. Eight percent reported getting a kidney or urinary tract infection because of avoiding public restrooms.

“If I’m in a place where I know people, I’m nervous to go in because some people don’t support me being trans,” Ethan said at Friday’s Trans Pride event at Balboa Park.


Ethan recalled being forcibly removed from a bathroom once at age 10, at a drive-in movie theater. He had not yet transitioned, so he was a girl dressed in male clothing using the girls’ bathroom. He said a woman pulled him out of the bathroom because of how he appeared.

Isaac Gomez, 22, also a transgender man, began his transition at age 12. He said he’d been uncomfortable using the girls’ bathroom at his elementary school and would often avoid it.

“I couldn’t pinpoint why, but I felt like it wasn’t the space for me,” he said.

Gomez said he doesn’t worry about going into men’s bathrooms now that he’s transitioned.


“People want to be comfortable in the bathroom that they’re using,” Gomez said. “That’s a need that we all have.”

Veronica Zerrer, one of the planners for the Trans Pride event, said she transitioned in Kansas in 1999.

“When I was first transitioning, I was very fearful,” Zerrer said. “The first thing you do, you go in and quickly scan the room to make sure no one looks like a threat. I don’t want to speak for all of us, but for me, the last thing I want to do is loiter. I want to do what I need to do and wash and dry my hands and get out.”

Zerrer said that public restrooms can pose an even greater problem for the gender-nonconforming.


Johnee Mims, 25, identifies as gender fluid.

“I’ve always known that I didn’t feel female all the way,” Mims said. “There was something that bugged me about being gendered at all.”

Mims goes into whichever bathroom feels right at the time. Mims, who is a modern dancer, said a man got angry once when Mims went in the male dressing room.

“I was trying to explain my identity to him,” Mims said. “He was like, ‘That’s not a real thing.’”


According to the national survey data, 12 percent of transgender people said that they had been harassed, attacked or sexually assaulted in a bathroom in the past year, and 24 percent said someone told them they were in the wrong bathroom.

Jessi McMurtry, 24, another organizer for Trans Pride, recalled her first time going into a public bathroom after realizing about two years ago that she was a trans woman. She was at a college where she worked as an American Sign Language interpreter, and it was nighttime.

“I had a friend go with me,” she said. “It was nerve-wracking even though I had my friend with me. She was like, ‘It’s okay. I’m here.’ I still was like, ‘What if someone comes in? What if I’m found out? What if they know I’m trans?’ It was not a pleasant experience trying to use the restroom with all of these thoughts in my head.”

“There’s always those thoughts, but they’re quieter now,” McMurtry added. “I don’t know if they’re ever going to go away.”


Sam Moehlig, 15, said that he worried about going in the men’s bathroom at the beginning of his transition because he didn’t think that he “passed” yet, but after about six months, that experience changed.

“Knowing that I was going to the bathroom that I belong in, it was exciting,” he said. “It was like my birthday came early.”

Bren Breithaupt, 60, who transitioned 14 years ago and is legally female, said she has only been challenged in the women’s bathroom once. She said she was washing her hands when a mother with child in tow approached her.

“All I did was put my driver’s license on the counter,” Breithaupt sad. “I finished washing my hands and left.”


Though the encounter happened about 12 years ago, Breithaupt said that the climate today for transgender people has gotten worse because of the higher profile the identity has in pop culture.

“People who are opposed to trans people are more aware of trans people who may not pass perfectly,” Breithaupt said. “If you pass perfectly, there’s not much of an issue, but if you don’t, and I don’t, then it can be a problem.”

According to the national survey, 31 percent of transgender people reported that they had avoided eating or drinking so they wouldn’t need to use a public bathroom. Breithaupt said she didn’t go that far, but she tries to avoid using public restrooms by always going before she leaves the house, and if she must use a public restroom, she looks for gender neutral bathrooms.

“When I go in the ladies room, I don’t talk because I know my voice sounds male,” she said.


She added that she avoids lingering in the bathroom and uses a pocket mirror to touch up makeup instead of standing at the bathroom mirror.

“We get in, use the bathroom and get out,” Breithaupt said. “We’re not there to peek over stalls.”