Somewhere in Edmonton, 2011.

"We need to come up with some ideas on how we can appeal to a larger demographic."

"Beyond the fans of the first two games?"

"Beyond the fans."

"But who does that leave us with? Everyone knows about Mass Effect by now."

"We need to think bigger."

"Call of Duty? Gears of War?"

"Yes. But we've already got that in the game. We need to phone home the idea that Mass Effect isn't an RPG, but an Action game with a capital A."

"Yes."

"Modern Warfare 3 sold millions more copies than Dragon Age. We need to think big. Mass Effect needs mass appeal."

"We've got that. James Vega. Built like a brick shithouse."

"It's not enough. We need someone the gamers can relate to. A bikini babe who plays video games. Gamers love that."

"Olivia Munn?"

"No. Everyone knows she's not a gamer. We need someone with a little more credibility."

"Yes."

"We need someone who really exudes a 'gamer' vibe. Someone who just screams, 'Mass Effect isn't for geeks. It's for the gamers who play Call of Duty.'"

"Yes."

"We need someone who can say 'Epic for the win' like it's a natural part of their vocabulary. Have you heard my 13 year old speak?"

"Can't say that I have. But go on."

"Jessica Chobot."

"Who?"

"Works for IGN. G4TV. She's a gamer. The gamers love her. And she's hot."

"That's a plus."

"Alright. So can we put her in the game?"

"We can't really make her a companion character. Remember how the social forums went apeshit when we put Felicia Day in the game and people got mad because her character looked nothing like an elf?"

"It's cool. We'll make her optional. The player can invite her onto the Normandy."

"What then? Why would the player want the her to join them?"

"Romance option. The player can have sex with her."

"Sounds good. I'll send a memo to the casting director."

"Excellent. Oh, and tell the community team that when the fans get mad, make sure to emphasize the fact that she's completely optional. Now, we need to talk to the gameplay director about adding more half walls. Gamers love cover shooters."