Killing anyone, even in defense of yourself or your family, is not consequence-free. Even if you’re legally justified, taking a life establishes a relationship between you and that person’s family that haunts you for the rest of your life. In combat you learn a little about the life you’ve taken by searching through their belongings for potential intelligence and instead finding love letters, religious and good luck amulets and a precious photo or two. The first time you kill someone is the most disturbing and memorable, but every face of every kill is never far from your mind, running like a film loop.