On Monday, The Guardian published a sex advice column in which a man asked why his girlfriend masturbates after sex.

People on social media instantly bashed the question and the man himself.

But data shows that it's not as uncommon an issue as you might think.



On Monday, The Guardian published an installment of its sex advice column, Sexual Healing. In this week's edition, a man told columnist and psychotherapist Pamela Stephenson Connolly that, after sex, his girlfriend always asks him to shower. As it turns out, his girlfriend uses the time that he is in the shower to masturbate, and he wondered if this might mean that his girlfriend is "insatiable."

People immediately began dragging this anonymous man through the mid with a fervor that had previously only been reserved for Arie Luyendyk, Jr. from "The Bachelor:"

—Marie Le Conte (@youngvulgarian) March 5, 2018

On the surface, it's not difficult to see why. The question, with its genuine, clueless candor initially seems to be a perfect example of how men don't understand women and their sexual needs, and, in their confusion, feel compelled to make the fact that their girlfriend can't have an orgasm all about them.

But most of the online bashing seemed to come from people who appear to have only read the headline of the article and neglected to read the actual advice that Connlly gave him.

In the column, Connolly said that this behavior is common, noting that masturbation can help produce an orgasm that comes without the "anxiety" that can come from partner sex. She also advised that the boyfriend actually ask what his girlfriend wants him to do after he climaxes and if she doesn't want him to do anything, to go ahead and take a shower and let his girlfriend do her thing.

The communication part is what seems most key in this particular instance. According to a study published in The Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, only about 18% of women can achieve orgasm through penetration alone. Other studies have shown that, in general, women are less likely to enjoy sex than men, since male sexual pleasure tends to be prioritized over that of women.

Is this ideal? Not exactly. But, as the data shows, the question in The Guardian is far from an isolated issue. And, if this particular setup works for this particular guy and his girlfriend, then, hey — who are we to judge?

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