Anonymous asked: im a cis lesbian girl and my ex (who i still like very much, patents made us break up, it's complicated) came out to me as trans. now im in a pickle because i like him very much, and want to have a relationship with him, but it's hard because im a(1)

(2) lesbian abd he’s atrans man. it’s really tricky, and i was wondering if you have any advice?



It’s not really that tricky when it comes down to it, though I can understand your hesitation & your difficulty. The fact of the matter is, identifying as a lesbian is at direct odds with your ex’s identity if you were to be in a relationship with him, and sooner or later that’s going to be a problem. Trans men are men. If you can’t accept that he is a man & that you are attracted to a man then it may be best not to pursue that relationship.

However, I am understanding of the fact that ‘lesbian’ is more than a label & an identity, it can also mean community, and that you may be leaving behind that if you choose to leave behind that label. It’s okay to take a little time to come to terms with that (and I would hope that any true friends would be understanding).

At the end of the day, it’s up to you - but in the long run, you can’t really be a lesbian & date a trans man without invalidating his identity.