OAKLAND, CA—Pricing out residents on either side of the street with each step he took, Facebook software engineer Eric Healy reportedly sent local housing costs soaring during a casual stroll through a residential neighborhood Tuesday. “Wow, what a nice day,” said Healy, increasing the rent on local one- and two-bedroom apartments threefold and adding at least $350,000 in property value to each building within a three-block radius as he made his way along the sidewalk. “It’s so nice to get outside and take a walk.” At press time, sources reported that two artisanal bakeries, an Anthropologie, and a themed tiki bar had begun making plans to move into the quiet neighborhood as Healy paused on a street corner for several moments to answer a phone call.

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