If it’s anything like its predecessor (and all indications seem to suggest as much), then Dark Souls II deals in tough love. Brutal bosses, grisly traps, excruciating punishments for even the most absent-minded of mistakes. By that line of thinking, Dark Souls II actually loves PC the most. It is, after all, forcing us to endure just a little bit more suffering than everyone else by releasing “shortly after” console versions early next year. Obviously, it knows we’re made of stern enough stuff to take it. Or at least, that’s what I’m telling myself. Over and over and over and over and over. Until it becomes the truth!



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Looks quite nice, doesn’t it? I’m going to echo my good friend Pretty Much Everyone in desperately pining for its bear-trap-like embrace right this very second. So of course, now it’s time for an agonizing wait. Quoth a press release:

“Dark Souls II will be launching in the Americas on March 11, 2014 on the PlayStation 3 computer entertainment system and Xbox 360 video game and entertainment system from Microsoft with the PC edition to follow shortly.”

For now, Namco Bandai’s not saying precisely how lengthy that gap will be, but the aim is still March. Apparently, they’re doing it in the name of “optimization” (and not just a crummy, low-resolution port), so I can’t entirely fault them for holding off.

And if we’re lucky, the slippage will only push our version back a couple weeks or – at worst – maybe a month. Given that the first Dark Souls’ PC port didn’t come out the gate in the best state, there’s something to be said for extra spit and shine. Still though, impatience rages in my blood like a demon. I want all the monsters to kill me nowwwwwwwwww. Do you think they’d do it if I asked really, really nicely?