This article was originally written by /u/ScummyJoe11 and is being added to the Overtime database for the preservation of past works

Right now, everyone and their mom is trying to start their own simulation sports league, and at first glance, Fake College Football might appear to be one of those leagues that’s promising, but never really gains enough traction to stick around. That is, until you dig a little deeper, and discover that the core of this league has grown together through their common appreciation for the oft-memed user, too much sauce who coached Colorado while he was a member of the league. While I may not have been around during his time in the league, (something that will haunt me until I leave this league) I know his lines as well as anyone else. Any coach that’s even remotely active on Discord knows about TMS through the constant references to his best quotes, most famously, “I cna comit.” And with that, let’s dive into these wonderful quotes that should never be forgotten.

TMS first joined the server on January 13, 2018 and immediately gave everyone a quote to live by: “sauce it up” He decided very quickly that he deserved to be the Pac-12 commissioner, who at the time was one of the alts of the infamous Lindros, and was therefore pretty inactive. Because of the absence of help from someone who could lead him and help him out, he turned to Babatunde Oladotun. He found comfort in the fact that they were fellow Pac-12 members and as you will see, PMed him quite often. Their communication started with the request, “link to the shedule spread sheet” which was soon followed up by the string of,

“I am asking for comish”

“u should sign up in a couple weeks for the mplayoff comitee”

“if u make a second reditt acount u could be comish of that divison they need one and u could be offensive cordinatir since they need a comish for that.”

Looking back, red flags should be drawn from that last message, considering he was advising someone else to create an alt account, something he would eventually do after he was banned. Unsurprisingly, he was denied the commissioner spot, and when the spot opened up it was given to Babatunde, who deserved the spot. When Babatunde later made a comment about TMS’s interest in commissioner, he responded with one of his most iconic quotes, “i want to be comish since i am good at football stuf like this” As we’ll get into later, this was far from the truth and he would actually say the exact same thing, only changing football for basketball, after he found Fake College Basketball’s subreddit. As time went on, TMS’s immaturity began to show, and Baba once asked him if he would change how he acted when he was a commissioner, to which he received this string of messages:

“no

but know one cares they sya thnk unm

thank u

and they dont care just ask them

they gave me a job”

The new Colorado coach has taken “sya thnk unm” and has made it the motto of the team. It’s now posted above the doorway to the tunnel from their locker room, and provides inspiration to all the players as they run onto the field. The job that was referenced there was notifying the commissioners of a game being scheduled, something that they kept a close eye on and didn’t need any help with, but it made him feel important.

The next major incident for TMS was his spring game, where he asked Baba to ref, and was a competent player according to multiple reports. He actually only lost because of a Hail Mary with 4 seconds left. Despite being competent at playing, his lack of football knowledge was shown when he responded “yes” to the question of ‘do you want to receive or defer?” Another problem was his complete refusal to use Reddit. He claimed that his Reddit “didn’t work” and later asked,

“since like is it is a promblem that i dont have reditt

or it doesnt work

so should i justtell the reff”

Meanwhile, TMS was starting beef with Arky, who he had shown a disliking to previously, but TMS was now dead set on taking him down. He began recruiting people to join him in roasting by asking in the general channel, something Arky could see, if anyone wanted to help him out. After he got no reponses, he began PMing people, and after they said yes and didn’t immediately begin trying to roast, he got frustrated and tried on his own. This is where two of his more underrated quotes came from:

“@E Squared-ARKY boii I have to roast you legit post every five seconds and your number 2 because you post something boiii your probally a legit 4 year old bet

boiii u wont because the only reason your number two is because you say HAWG STRENGTH every five seconds like wtf is that supposed to mean”

I can’t completely blame him for guessing Arky’s age though, since we have yet to see proof that he isn’t indeed 4 years old.

When his Week 1 game began, he continued to show his ineptitude by asking Baba if he was winning his game. He had been sending lists to his ref through Discord, and since his Reddit “didn’t work” he didn’t know what was happening.

All of this was great, but the crowning achievement of TMS’s legacy was his podcast. He was deadset on running a podcast with everyone and finally managed to set up a practice podcast. While the podcast was happening, he sent some messages in the podcasts channel, still easy to find at the time this article was released, just scroll up some and look for messages from the user benten. Many people who believed he was just a troll were proved wrong that day when they heard the voice of a pre-pubescent kid.

After the podcast, he became more and more inactive, but at one point he got in an argument with pistonswin, a story for another day, where he said, “boii u legit look like a burnt fucking canoon head ass” After this, he PMed Baba sporadically until his expulsion. Some of his messages were,

“same just snapping some girls trying date

boiii

i got roats

what does the mf say fuck fuck fuck

what is a good in the fucking hood

?

how do u add friends

on herw

since i am facetime my gf on here but idk how to add her

bet \

imma facetime my girl soon

she said last night she was high asl

After these PMs and constant inactivity, TMS was kicked from Fake College Football, but not before he put up a good fight. He pleaded with both Dick Nutter and Rhule D. World to be accepted back into the league. Many times he claimed “i cna comit” and after saying that one final time and receiving no response, he left all of our lives forever.

RIP TMS

2018-2018

By: /u/ScummyJoe11