With the exception of Monday night’s Steph-splosion in Portland, these playoffs have been a chore to sit through. With Cleveland steamrolling through the flaming pile of dog shit known as the Eastern Conference and the Spurs and Thunder slogging it out for the right to lose to Golden State in the Western Conference finals, I’ve mostly spent my playoff-watching time armchair scouting potential free agent targets for the Bulls in the off-season. With both Pau and Joakim most likely on their way out the door, the Bulls are looking at having as much as $23.4 million in cap space to play around with. Here are some potential future Bulls players fans can monitor as a way to make these predictable playoffs slightly more interesting.



Hassan Whiteside, Miami Heat, C 2015-2016: 14.2 PPG, 11.8 RBG, 3.7 BLK, 60.6% FG%


Despite being out for at least game 5 of Miami’s series with Toronto with a Grade I MCL sprain, I expect Dwayne Wade to drag the Heat to the Eastern Conference finals where Whiteside will be a major factor in keeping Lebron away from the rim. The athletic center would fill a major hole in the middle of the Bulls’ defense when Noah heads for greener pastures. After a season where opposing teams skull fucked the Bulls’ Gasol-anchored defense at the rim, the paint protection that comes from a player averaging nearly four blocks per game would be sorely needed. Although their stats may look similar (Gasol’s 15/16 averages: 16.5 PPG, 11 RBG, 2 BLK and 46.9% FG%), the Bulls would be better served trading out the slow-moving, ball dominating Gasol for a putback artist who can jump out of the building like Whiteside.

Allen Crabbe, Portland Trail Blazers, SG 2015-2016: 10.3 PPG, 2.7 RBG, 39.3% 3PT%, 86.7% FT%


Crabbe has played an effective bench role on a Blazers team that has shocked everyone by making it as far as they have. However, Crabbe’s season is nearly over as Portland is about to become the latest victim to the buzz saw that is the Golden State Warriors. An offensive-minded wing, Crabbe would be a perfect addition to a Bulls bench led by Douggie McBuckets and Bobby Portis, as well as providing needed insurance in the event of a Jimmy Butler injury. Seeing as he would be a significant improvement over the walking corpse of Tony Snell, enjoy this clip of Crabbe dunking all over his sorry ass.

Festus Ezeli, Golden State Warriors, C 2015-2016: 7.0 PPG, 5.6 RBG, 1.1 BLK, 54.8 FG%)


Obviously it would be impossible to make this list without adding someone from the Golden State Warrior’s murderer’s row of a rotation. Although he doesn’t quite have the same ceiling as Whiteside, Ezeli is an equally attractive option as Miami’s center and doesn’t bring nearly the same amount of baggage. Stuck behind Draymond Green and Andrew Bogut in a loaded Warriors front court rotation, Ezeli still managed to sport a fairly impressive stat line despite playing just over 16 minutes per game. Just check out what Ezeli managed to do to Blake Griffin earlier this season. Failing being able to land Ezeli or Whiteside, Bismack Biyombo is having himself a playoffs for the Toronto Raptors (4.9 PPG, 8.2 RBG, 0.7 BLK) and would be a useful rotation big for the Bulls, if not a starter.