Happiness is such an abstract and subjective matter. Some people can be happy ‘just’ by being able to eat once every day. Some people need to be really successful to be happy. Some people need to be great in what they are doing to be happy. A few people need to be the best in their classes to be happy. A few people need to have it all to be happy. A few people are so clueless that they don’t even know what they want to be happy.

I know some of you must be thinking: “What do a 20-something person know about life and happiness? You were just born yesterday!” Well, based on my experience, age has very little with maturity. So, let me share my thoughts. Here it is.

1. Happiness is subjective.

How you see happiness has to do with the way you are raised, your lifestyle, your habits, your family, your personality, your everything. What you have experienced and saw in your life will subconsciously form your opinion about your idea of happiness. In short, your idea of happiness is all in your mindset. After all, what happens to you is mostly in your mind.

For example, as a person that lives in a big city, you probably have experienced when you should choose between prioritizing your lifestyle or your needs. Meanwhile, a person that live in a really small village or a forest in Africa will not have this problem. They don’t have lifestyle needs like the people that lives in the big cities. See? Some people simply need more efforts to be happy than the others.

2. Happiness is about enjoying ‘pains’.

Everyone has problems. It is life. The happiest people are the ones that can laugh while they try to overcome their problems. They do not let doubts and little problems prevent them from getting what they really want. They can enjoy ‘pains’ because they know life is all about risks, priorities, and sacrifices.

That’s why I always try to enjoy the process of getting what I want and overcoming my problems. I want to be happy, no matter the circumstances. It’s all in your mindset. If you want to be happy, you simply have to decide that you want to be happy. As simple as that. If you complain of every small things in your life, you can not see the bigger picture and enjoy life the way it should be enjoyed.

3. Happiness is not luck.

There are no valuable thing that is easy to be attained. If someone tells you otherwise, they are talking bullshit. Why? Because if you get something out of luck, you will not be much happy about it. It is no longer be so valuable to you. If you work hard to get something, you will appreciate it more and be so satisfied when you finally get it. Humans are complicated, right?

For example, using your own money to buy a camera would be different than asking your parents to buy it for you. It does not give me any satisfaction if I get it without effort.

4. Happiness is when you stop trying to change what you can not change.

You only have the control over yourself and your mind. But, there are simply some situations or problems that you can not change. You also do not have the control over someone else’s minds and actions. If you can not change it, do not spend time thinking and trying to change it. It is no longer smart nor healthy to obsess over it. Just focus on the problems that you can handle right now.

Stop over-thinking things. Most of our problems are only created in our minds. In reality, the problem is not happening yet. Instead of worrying, why don’t you do something about it and prevent it from happening?

5. Happiness is whatever you want it to be.

In short, happiness is all in your mind, your choice. You make your own rules and formula to be happy. It is all your own decision. If you decide that you simply need A, B, C in your life to be happy, so be it.

If you are not happy right now, you have two choices to be happier in my opinion. You can change your mindset and expectations or you can learn to enjoy the struggle and ‘pain’ to achieve your happiness standard.

Life needs balance. You should be happy enough to appreciate life with its ups and downs. But it is also not the best thing to be so happy until the point where you are too easy to be satisfied with your life. If you are too happy, you will not make any progress in your life. I think it is ‘healthy’ to always have new goals and ambitions but maintaining a happy face when you try to pursue it.