Every man has emotional ups and downs. Self-help teaches us to have delusional self-confidence— and this is a sound philosophy, especially in the pickup and dating scene. Your ability to remain cool, detached, and ruthlessly optimistic are integral to your success. But is there also a need for anger, fear, frustration and anxiety?

I believe so.

If I had not become frustrated with my inability to get laid, I never would have approached a thousand women. If I hadn’t felt small and unheard, I never would have started a blog. If I never felt frustrated over my shitty job and financial woes, I never would have started my coaching business. If I didn’t feel bored and isolated, I never would have travelled to a foreign country.

If you’re feeling these pressures and anxieties, the best thing to do is recognize them as signposts. Something is amiss. Your soul, for lack of a better word, is unfullfilled. These feelings are calls to action. I say get mad, get frustrated, get sad, get introspective. And then, do something about it…take action.

Emotional frustration is a powerful catalyst. It drives us to raise our voice, to find better work, better women, to write novels, go to acting school, go to the gym.

But once you begin on your new path, you immediately start to feel better. Instead of loafing around your house all day, playing video games, watching netflix—you take action. You go out and approach women at a party, you start a band, you start a small business, you enroll in school. After some time, you see results. At this point, you must switch your energy from that of frustration, to blind optimism. The time for fret is behind you.

Total belief—full intent.

Now nothing will stop you. Nothing fazes you. You’re on your path and you WILL be successful. You understand that failure is only a bump in a long road. Failure is a teacher, and one to be admired. Every failure makes you stronger, happier. The only thing separating you from your heroes, is time spent on your goal.

And when you achieve your goal, you can look back with pride and say, “I did it.” And you know, now you can do anything.

Until you start to feel a new frustration, and you will have to ponder this for many days, or weeks, or months, until it gets so bad, you’re forced to start again, with a fresh, new, positive energy. For everything is in flux, and always will be.