

(cue the Courage The Cowardly Dog intro) It was yet another incredibly dull and lifeless morning (of the year 2014) in the flat, barren and featureless (borderline) desert that was Courage's hometown of Nowhere (Kansas), and after yet another obligatory establishing shot of said dog's janky old wooden (Bagge Farm)house, the next shot was abruptly cut to (also as always) to show what was going on in his adoptive owners' (Eustace Bagge's and Muriel Bagge's) rather extremely tackily decorated living room, as in basically nothing at all...well, unless you count Eustace lazily sitting on his armchair and callously burying his face into the latest issue of his local newspaper while Muriel merrily rocked back and forth in her rocking chair with Courage lovingly sprawled out atop her lap as something, I suppose. "HMMMMM..." Courage happily crooned as Muriel comfortingly stroked up and down his lovely pink coat of beagle fur with her fingers while Eustace sneered disgustedly in response, muttering numerous hateful insults about the poor dog under his breath while Courage just exasperatedly shrugged and rolled his eyes in the classic "here we go again" type of fashion. "Geez, how much are you going to have to pamper that stupid dog before you FINALLY start to get just a bit TIRED of it, huh?" Eustace began angrily griping and nagging in Muriel's general direction, "FINALLY" slamming his newspaper down onto his lap and making eye(glass) contact with the equally old, decrepit and bespectacled Muriel just to make sure that she actually was paying attention to him; as you can probably imagine, Muriel and Courage both sincerely wished that they could just ignore him and relax in peace, but AS USUAL, Eustace's abhorrently spiteful and self-centered intentions were ENTIRELY to the contrary and then some, to put it lightly. "What do you MEAN, Eustace?" Muriel suddenly stopped rocking her chair, curiously placed her left index finger over her mouth (while continuing to warmly pet Courage with the entirety of her right hand, naturally), and naively asked her curmudgeonly old fart(knocker) of a husband while Courage flipped himself around to face him with an exceedingly "tired of Eustace's crap" look in his eyes. "Look, you know it EVERY bit as well as I do; that mangy, over-fed little mutt is WAY too high-strung for his OWN sodding good, let alone OURS!" Eustace growled angrily, clenching his non-existent teeth together and threateningly shaking his left fist at Courage for emphasis while Courage just pathetically quivered and mewled in response, ironically proving Eustace to actually have a genuinely valid point for once...needless to say, however, Muriel completely and blatantly refused to admit TO said point's incredibly obvious validity, as always. "Oh, PLEASE! Says YOU, you crotchety, hedonistic old miser who, need I mention, as opposed to doing ANY actually productive farm work OR house work, just grumpily SITS around on his malnourished, lazy bottom and waits for everyone else AROUND him to CATER to his every whim! Most notably Courage in particular, whom you MORE than evidently STILL treat like the very same utterly deplorable garbage that YOU yourself act like on a regular basis even though he's clearly SAVED our aforementioned bottoms from certain doom more times than I can even bear to COUNT!" Muriel angrily threw her arms out beside herself and ranted back at Eustace in a sadly futile attempt to try and finally talk some (common) sense into the greedy, selfish bastard. "Oh, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH! BIG DEAL! What good is a FEW thousand times in the grand scheme of the universe anyway?" Eustace callously rolled his eyes and snidely belittled Muriel. "Why, that pitiful little wuss is probably only going to last a FEW more years on this EARTH anyway, at the rate HIS miserable JOKE of a life is going!" Eustace craned his neck directly toward Courage and revoltingly laughed in his face while Courage just winced in disgust from a combination of what he was saying AND how much spit was flying out of his mouth and directly onto Courage's own face as he said it.