With all due respect to “Trap Queen” and other strong contenders for this year’s seasonal jam, here is my pick for song of the summer: Amy Schumer’s One Direction parody, “Girl, You Don’t Need Makeup.”


Not only is it a perfect evisceration of every dumb “You’re So Beautiful Just Like U R (As Long As You’re Conventionally Beautiful)” pop song ever written, but it is also a genuinely catchy tune At least one Jezebel staffer who shall remain nameless has already listened to it four times. “These are just metaphors, girl—but they are about your face.” Give these boy-band dorks their official song of summer trophy!