Former United States Secretary of State “Crooked Hillary” Clinton

“Crazy Bernie” Sanders, United States Senator (D-VT)

“Lyin’ Ted” Cruz, United States Senator (R-Texas)

“Little Marco” Rubio, United States Senator (R-Florida)

Elizabeth “Pocahontas” Warren, United States Senator (D-MA)

“Weak and Ineffective” United States President Barack Obama

“Highly Neurotic” Debbie Wasserman Schultz, United States Congresswoman (D-FL)

“Perv” Anthony Weiner, Former Congressman (D-NY)

“Not Very Bright” United States Vice President Joe Biden

“Wild Bill” Clinton, Former United States President

“Low Energy” Jeb Bush, Former Governor of Florida

Mitt “Choked Like a Dog” Romney, Former Governor of Massachusetts

“Disloyal” Paul Ryan, United States Congressman (R-WI)

“Not Nice” Former United States President George W. Bush

“Worst Mayor in the United States” Bill De Blasio, New York City Mayor

“Pathological” Ben Carson, Neurosurgeon

John “I like people that weren’t captured” Mccain, United States Senator (R-AZ)

Megyn “So average in every way” Kelly, Anchor Fox News

Lawrence “One of the dumber people in television” O’Donnell, Anchor MSNBC

Tavis “Hater and Racist” Smiley, Journalist PBS

Chuck “Sleepy Eyes” Todd, Journalist NBC

“BORING” George Will, columnist

Ruth “Her Mind is shot” Bader Ginsburg, Supreme Court Justice

“Dopey” Mark Cuban, businessman

Karl “Spent $430 million and lost all races” Rove, Republican Political strategist

“Third Rate Reporter” Katie Couric, Anchor Yahoo News

Alwaleed “Wants to control our U.S. politicians with daddy’s money” bin Talal, Saudi Prince

“Low level degenerates” ISIS

“Really Pathetic” CNN

“Failing” New York Times

“Unfunny Show” Saturday Night Live

“Disgusting” Alicia Machado, Former Miss Universe Winner