One man in Delhi was desperate for vegetarian sausages and heard the embassy stocked supplies. Another wanted to double check that Poland wasn’t home to vampires, after an internet date asked about his blood group before they met.

A holidaymaker in Spain demanded help swapping hotel rooms after a stray cat “broke in” and peed on the bed. Someone in America wanted a quick update on the latest round of Strictly Come Dancing. And in Italy there was a wedding to be arranged, ideally with tickets to see the pope thrown in.

The requests were on an annual list of the strangest calls to British diplomats posted around the world, made by callers with a surprisingly poor understanding of what help embassies can provide.

“I can regretfully confirm that the Foreign Office isn’t able to offer advice on vampires, rogue stray cats or Strictly contestants. And our capacity to deploy veggie sausages remains sadly lacking,” the FCO said in a statement.

Some requests were disturbing, like the man in Argentina asking for a list of women he might be able to marry. Others just suggested people struggling with internet access, like one who was confused by the Braveheart plot.

The callers were all told, firmly and probably politely, that British diplomats could only help in cases of emergency. Altogether, the Foreign Office handled more than 330,000 calls from people in need abroad this year.

“Getting into trouble abroad can be daunting and upsetting,” the FCO said. “If you find yourself in an emergency in another country, contact the nearest British embassy, high commission or consulate and our consular staff will do everything they can to help.”

Assistance includes visiting people in hospital or jail, issuing emergency travel documents, contacting friends and family, and providing details of local services including lawyers, interpreters and doctors.

The FCO has recently been criticised by the families of Britons jailed overseas over how it handled their cases. Critics, including the wife of student Matthew Hedges, imprisoned in the UAE, said UK authorities “failed” them.