by: Alice morgan

My super power

I see things other people don’t…

and sometimes,

I capture the moment.

Enjoy!

The Unicorn Trophy

Are you looking for new ways to brighten up your child’s bedroom? Flowers, pictures and balloons just won’t do it anymore? Well, how about adding the severed head of a unicorn? It’s a guaranteed child pleaser!

Comes especially handy when you can’t afford a pony.

I have been pumping that weight since before you were born

Does this qualify as fake advertisement? 😀

There is not much else I can add here. I wonder how long it would take to get that ripped with a weight like that.

(find product here)

The Double Sinner

The first sin is more conceptual. There is nothing wrong with the doll itself, my issue is with how little thought was put into it. According to packaging, the doll’s name is Apple White and she is Snow White’s daughter.

Riddle me this: How likely it is that Snow White would name her daughter after the very thing that almost killed her? That’s the equivalent of naming your daughter Cyanide. Also, what kind of moron would name their child “Apple”?

from nameberry

Oh. Well, anyway…

Snow White was named SNOW WHITE because her skin was white as snow. APPLES ARE RED.

Well, the one that almost killed her was red. They are certainly not white.

There is also a typo on the back of the package, making “Apple White” into “Apple Whited”. It’s not an improvement.

This could happen

While most marketing materials regarding fire safety are satisfied with urging you to be cautious about throwing away burning cigarettes, this calendar goes the extra mile. Hell, maybe this happened after someone threw away a burning cigarette. Or perhaps the picture depicts a new super hero who just discovered his power. He is swatting at the camera to keep the eyewitness from filming. He has to safeguard his secret identity after all.

Conclusion: please be careful, never, ever to get incinerated, wherever you go.

What kind of bread is it?

If you are looking at this and have no idea what is wrong with it, don’t worry! Think about the fact that major brands with a group of designers didn’t get it right either. I’m saying “brands” because this is a common mistake. It’s true! Keep an eye on it in the future, it will be worth it. Let me give you a hint!

Get it now? No? It’s actually part of a game that I call “What does the Italian flag look like?”

Now, to their credit, they got the colors right. So there is that. Unfortunately, when it comes to flags, you can’t just flip them around in whatever direction you want, in this case, upside-down. The first color should be green. If the first color is red, well, that’s actually the Hungarian flag. Now, the bread on the second picture has the green on the left side. That’s ok, because traditionally, the flag is a vertical tricolor. That’s how it should look. Problem arises when it’s depicted in a horizontal position, often mixing the red and green. I wrote a short poem in order to help people remember.

The Italian flag:

If the first color is red,

You fucked up.

Solution:

I propose that they change “Italian” to “Hungarian”, for the sole purpose of it being hilarious. Thank you!

My personal favorite

Ah, the legendary twenty-cent quarter. I wonder how many of these were printed before someone realized it was wrong. I thought that maybe it wasn’t meant to represent actual currency, making it a more symbolic representation of money… except that they got the scale right. The dime is smaller than the nickle, just like logic dictates.

This concludes my short list of errors in the fabric of the Matrix. If I find new ones, you will be the first to know!

May your bacons remain crispy!

Alice

alice@cozyloft.us