Throughout my life I have known many girls and women. For a long time now, I have watched as me and mine struggle around men. I have seen both feminists and non-feminists in abusive relationships, sometimes multiple times in a row. I, an open feminist, have been in an abusive relationship, have failed to keep myself safe from harm. I have seen me and mine emulate what is being shown in media for the benefit of men. I watched my older sister beg my mom to let her start shaving. I have seen so many of my friends ruin their spirits with too many one night stands, and I have asked them “why do you feel empty enough to do this kind of harm to yourself?”. The answer I get is “I don’t know”. I confess I don’t know either.

So many girls and women feel a strong desire to be desirable. Beautiful. Graceful. Quiet. Soft. Made up. Starving. Depressed. Girl you’re perfect? Always worth it?

Worth fucking what?

I have tried desperately to push down the urge to be desirable, but every time my efforts are rewarded, I feel that rush inside, that validation of my womanhood.

This is Culture. This is a Culture War and the site of the battle is my female body. Trying to fix anything without changing the culture will not work. It has proliferated itself our public schools, our universities, online, in our nuclear families, in broken families, in religion, and the media is run entirely off profits gained through sexism. In a sexist culture, well, sexism sells.

I believe the feminist fight is about the culture. Women know deep down, we feel the pressure of it every day even if they say they are fine with it. The only answer is to end collective gendered socialization, and ban sexism from advertising and media altogether, change sex education to be kind to girls, and to ban porn.

It is psychological warfare we must beat down and protect our kids from. Everything else is a symptom. Until women are respected inherently AS PEOPLE, we will be in danger. Our friends will be in danger. Our girls will be in danger.