I think a lot of people assume that a manic phase is really hard on someone who has bipolar disorder. In some ways it is, but likely not the way you think. Mania usually feels amazing.

When I’m manic, I feel a heightened sense of self-confidence, am fearless, can function off very few hours of sleep and I feel like I’m on top of the world. Having a manic phase usually feels great. The issue is that when a person is manic, they are likely making decisions they’ll come to regret later like cutting into rent money to purchase tickets to a concert you’ve been wanting to go to or spending way too much on an unwarranted shopping spree. I’ve also had a habit of shaving all my hair off because I’m too liberated to conform to societal standards on what a woman should look like. Yeah, I’m THAT chick when I’m manic.

When poor decisions are made, they’re inevitably followed by consequences and that’s where the manic phase packs up and creeps out the door, leaving it’s pal depression to take over. Bad decisions in manic phases almost always lead to a phase of depression. This is alarming for those around you because for several weeks you were positive, creative, neat, daring, and fun to be around. Suddenly, you’ve been reduced to a depressed, miserable human being that doesn’t want to do anything.

People never get this. They just say “sometimes you’re on, and sometimes you’re off. ” I wish it were that simple but being manic is not being “on” anymore than being depressed is being “off”. That’s where the stigma with bipolar starts. It’s not a light switch. There are shades of gray in everything. There are times that I’m level and there are times that I’m not. It’s more complicated than being on or off.

Mania is just one part of bipolar. The reason why it’s no good for you is because you’re not sleeping, sometimes not eating, making huge decisions when you’re not in the right frame of mind when you really need to just slow down instead.

The tough part of mania is it’s the time when I feel free to express the most extreme side of my personality without care, and that feels good. Who wouldn’t want that freedom? Most of us hide the parts of us that make others uncomfortable out of fear of judgement. Mania doesn’t give a damn. Mania lets you unapologetically be all that you are or want to be. Mania gives no f—ks.

I used to listen to this song in the 80’s where she said “It’s just another Manic Monday. I wish it were Sunday.” For me? Monday would be a breeze.