Is nothing sacred in the world of transatlantic remakes? Apparently Only Fools and Horses isn't – the quintessentially English comedy of south London wheeler-dealers is being given an American reboot and we all have to live with it. G2's showbiz spies now reveal the subtle tinkerings that have been made with the original formula.

• The David Jason role will be filled by Jason Alexander. The Rodney role will, confusingly, be taken on by Tracy Morgan from 30 Rock, while the character of Uncle Albert is killed off in the first show, and replaced by an attractive female cousin, played by someone from Bridesmaids, but not the large one.

• The cockney-heavy dialogue will obviously have to change, and so American viewers can expect to soon be parroting classic catchphrases such as "Rodney, you goddamn asshole!", "Awesome jawsome!" and "YO! I straight done thought up a zany money-making scheme fo' sheezy!"

• The theme song will retain its original lyrics but be given a more hip-hop feel by T-Pain, who also guest stars in the first episode in which Del Boy tries to sell him a counterfeit version of Auto-Tune.

• The family will, true to the original, drive a distinctive yellow vehicle emblazoned with the family logo. However, in the US version it will be a monster truck called "Big Del".

• The Nag's Head will now be a branch of Hooters.

• The episode where the boys disconnect the wrong chandelier will be set in the Playboy mansion, and will feature a cameo from Hugh Hefner that the show's creators describe as "entirely forced upon us by nervous network mannequins".

• The episode in which Del Boy falls through an opened bar-top has been scrapped, for fear that it inspires a wave of copycat pratfalls in the nation's youth.

• The location has been shifted to the poverty-stricken district of Bedford-Stuyvesant in New York, where drug crime and shootings are commonplace. "We wanted somewhere as bad as Peckham," said the show's producers, "but we couldn't find anywhere."