Week 1 Power Rankings Another year in the books and another weekly power ranking provided by yours truly, SCLSU Mud Dogs. I do have to say that this is the most boring NFL season opener that I can remember and there just isn't the same buzz around football anymore. The NFL should be thankful for fantasy football because I bet most people would tune out if it werent for people obsessing over their teams. From changing the game to glorified flag football, to half empty stadiums around the league, to shitty Monday Night Football Broadcasts, this season is shaping up to be quite the show.



So without further ado, your weekly rankings: Thielen Her TDs - Good first win against a decent opponent. Kareem Hunt was a great pick as he was out the gates as fast as Mexicans crossing the border. However now that the great wall is currently being built on our sourthern borders, expect slower immigration stats from the rookie. SCLSU Mud Dogs - Got shit on by FAKE NEWS for picking up a second DST to replace the godly Seattle defense for Week 1. The DST that was picked up scored 28pts...This was a surprise to everyone but the Mud Dogs as they dont feed into mainstream narratives. Look for them to continue to red pill more teams along the way. Horndog 69 - Despite a tough loss, this team's potential is as big as President Trump's hands. He has compiled a cabinet that is not only reliable, but individually explosive enough to drain the swamp every week. Let's just hope his horniness doesnt get him in trouble as the campaign goes on, a la Anthony Wiener sexting 15 year old girls. Cousins Skeeter - Great promise but had Jeb Bush energy levels Week 1, this team does have potential to do some damage. A great family name can only take them so far though. If they can get past their anemic showing, this team can skeet from the windows to the walls. Bleeding Burgandy - Another decent competitor that had average numbers in the polls. They know that polls dont guarantee victories but would still like to see those numbers increase to pick up their confidence. Look for them to do some campaigning in the heart of American aka the waiver wire. Thank You, May I Have Another - Tough week for a pretty decent team. Like the EU, free trade agreements between teams and unlimited immigration policies could be their downfall. What once was a great team, could be overrun by outsiders with a different culture in weeks time. Before you know it his original team will be but a memory. A travel ban might be in order. Big Baller Brand - Similar to a sanctuary city, there are many players on this team that are supported by the few hardworking star players. However what happens if those star players move? Or dont pay their dues? Where will the points come from? It's not xenophobia or racism, its simple economics. Step Forward Sports - A new hope this year as this team has rolled back the regulations of previous administrations. Came prepared for the draft with rankings from Hillary Clinton's emails which was kept on a private home server. Oh wait, she deleted those emails upon FBI investigation which explains this very questionable squad... Dak to the Future - Like the Russia allegations of interfering with our elections, on the surface its a hot story that can get teams hot and bothered. However if you dig deep and sift thru the propaganda, youd realize this team is a big "nothing-burger". If his team is healthy, expect the Russia narrative to continue. However if one goes down, its over. Austin Collie Im Sweatin - A pretty decent team with a decent draft. Why isnt he "50 pts ahead" you might ask? Well, affirmative action can only go so far. He received a great draft pick and thus a star player to which he could rely on to carry his team. Unfortunately affirmative action goes both ways, and like Asians is being penalized 50pts on SATs, this team now has to deal with the consequences of policies that they themselves advocated for.