Maybe it is destiny’s plan to condemn 11-year-old Emily Yildiz to a life crammed into confined spaces.

She’s considered this, but isn’t yet ready to accept it as her fate.

Yildiz has hunkered down with her sister and mother in East York as their family, in recent days, like so many others across the country and the world, try to avoid COVID-19.

The isolation is a familiar feeling to the young girl. And she has some advice for those struggling with their new circumstances: Be grateful for what you have, especially your family.

She’s just glad that this time, the police aren’t searching for her and her loved ones.

Yildiz moved to Toronto in September 2018 after being apart from her mother, Arzu, for nearly three years after the failed coup attempt against the government of Turkish strongman Recep Erdogan. Police in Turkey had sought to arrest Arzu for her work as a political journalist.

She shared her story and advice in a letter passed on to the Star by a family friend who’s in a PEN Canada writers-in-exile group with Arzu. In the letter, Yildiz offers a brief look, through her own young eyes, at years of turmoil and the fracturing of her family that left her thousands of kilometres away from her mother.

“I have no idea if this is destiny or not, but I know only one thing,” she writes. “If you are with your family and they are safe, that’s the most important thing. Hold each other’s hand, be happy to be living together.”

The letter begins on Yildiz’s seventh birthday in the Turkish capital of Ankara, against the backdrop of the failed coup. She was at her grandparent’s home with her mother and sister when their father called to say police were looking for Arzu.

Yildiz says she has not been in the same room with her mother, father and sister at the same time since. For the next three months Yildiz, her mother and baby sister were hunkered down in a one-bedroom apartment in Ankara.

“We couldn’t see out the windows or go outside, because we were scared,” she told the Star in an interview. Her mother would not show her face anywhere in case she was recognized.

Arzu said she could leave the apartment to visit her grandparents, but Yildiz didn’t want to leave her mother and sister.

As the school year began, the young girl had to return to class and so began to live with her grandparents, while her mother remained in hiding for two more months before making her way to Greece and eventually Canada, where she was granted refugee status.

“I remember that my grandma was always trying to make me happy,” Yildiz said of her memories from the time. “She tried her best to make us happy.”

The wait to be rejoined with her mother ended in September 2018, and her sister arrived in Toronto last July. Her younger sister hadn’t been with her mother since she was a baby. When she got off the plane Yildiz had never spoken English before, but one wouldn’t guess that listening to the ease with which she already speaks the language today.

Yildiz turned her interests to the pursuits of most 11-year-old children, such as painting and playing with friends. Settling in Canada has been an “easy” transition, she said.

Then, Yildiz once again found her life changed by forces beyond her control.

As she was getting ready for her second Canadian winter, on the other side of the world COVID-19 was beginning to spread throughout Wuhan, China. Eventually it made its way to Toronto, with more than 4,000 cases across Canada, forcing the public to self-isolate to stop the spread.

The virus came just in time to dash her hopes for her first summer in her new home. The threat of a scrapped summer of skateboarding with her new friends in exchange for being stuck in an apartment looms large now, though she’s not letting it bother her.

“I’m now used to it,” she said. “It’s the second time that’s happened to me. The difference is that now there’s no police, if we go outside, that are looking for us.”

Though her life story has been more extreme, Yildiz’s current situation is like that of many children.

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A child psychologist at the University of Toronto, Tina Malti, said it’s important children in isolation maintain contact with their friends and even teachers, via phone or internet.

There can be psychological effects on children during isolation, such as anxiety, behavioural problems or sadness. Engagement with friends helps maintain a sense of normalcy, Malti said, which is important to help stave off those effects.

“Friendships and peer relationships are incredibly important for children’s positive development,” she said. “Make sure there are some positive interactions.”

Otherwise, to help children understand the circumstances, parents need to explain what is happening and why. As well, children may need it explained to them in different ways so they understand, she said.

Malti said that if a child has past trauma self-isolation could exacerbate it. So it’s important to take advantage of any resources or services in place to help, such as counselling.

Back in her apartment in Toronto, as much of the country grumbles about being in self-isolation, Yildiz insists being with her mom and sister is enough to keep her happy. It should be enough for anyone, she said.

“Love your family and say thanks to god for getting you together,” ends her letter. “Nothing matters more than this.”

Emily’s letter

Four years ago it was my seventh birthday. The police came to our house. My dad was not there. They were looking for my mom, because she was a journalist. From that day our life changed. It was July 2016.

We never went back to our house. We would never be a family together again. I never saw my dad and my mom together again. For three months I stayed with my mom and my baby sister in an apartment with one room. We did not even look outside the windows. My mom said that I could go to see my grandparents but I didn’t want to leave my mom and my sister. I wanted to stay with them. Four years later, me, my mom and my sister live together in Canada.

Everything was great. I started to skateboard. I have lots of friends and summer will be coming. I had plans I wanted to do, but then the Covid 19 started and the school closed. Now me, my mom and my sister have to stay home in one room again without going outside. The same thing was happening after four years.

I have no idea if this is destiny or not, but I know only one thing. If you are with your family and they are safe that’s the most important thing. Hold each other’s hand, be happy to be living together. Because four years ago when we were together with my mom and my little sister after that we could not see each other for two years. But now I am happy that I can see my parents.

Love your family and say thanks to God for getting you together. Nothing matters more than this.

Correction, March 28, 2020: An earlier version of this article incorrectly said Yilidz arrived in September, 2019. She in fact arrived in Canada in September 2018. The version also said a family friend from PEN International passed on the letter, it was a friend from PEN Canada. The article has been updated to reflect this.