Harvard’s big mistake with Chelsea Manning was that the Beautiful People at Camelot High didn’t think of him — I mean, her — as a traitor. They regarded Chelsea as a, well, here’s the headline on the press release about Manning from the ­Institute of Politics:

“Class includes first transgender Fellow.”

First question: Was she to be a Visiting Fellow, or a Visiting Felon?

Second question: Has Hasty Pudding Theatricals stepped up to grab Chelsea off waivers from the Kennedy School?

When Chelsea’s ­appointment was announced, Harvard’s press release described Manning as a “network security expert and former U.S. Army intelligence analyst.”

Is an intelligence analyst anything like a filing clerk?

I mean, when Chelsea dumped all those hundreds of thousands of classified top-secret documents to WikiLeaks, she was a he, not to mention an E-4, which is just above a Pfc, private first class. The then-Bradley Manning had spent exactly one semester in a college you probably never heard of (Montgomery) before dropping out “after failing a test,” according to Wikipedia.

Now she’s a “security expert.” People lose their jobs for piping their credentials, but if Harvard pipes your credentials for you …

Next we come to her real qualifications for a stint at Camelot High.

“As a trans woman, she advocates for queer and transgender rights.”

A trans woman, fired! Does anyone have the number for Maura Healey’s hate-crime hotline? We need another special counsel!

Actually Chelsea, I feel your pain. Thirty years ago, I ran a seminar for five weeks at Camelot High. To get to my class the first day, I had to cross a picket line — against myself. Before I took the gig (which paid $300), I was told by a former Herald editor that once I could put “Harvard” on my resume, not matter how dubiously, the Beautiful People would lay off me.

He was wrong, of course, although later a med-school professor I know invited me to join the Harvard Faculty Club. They needed new members — a lot of them — real bad.

How Harvard is this whole Chelsea Manning tempest in a teapot? The acting director of the school turns out to be Suntan Bill Delahunt, the shady ex-Congressman (and DA, and state rep) from Quincy. Last we heard of Delahunt, he was on the verge of becoming a marijuana magnate, a wizard of weed.

Didn’t he get three “medicinal” marijuana licenses from Deval Patrick? A nationwide search no doubt.

There used to be a governor’s councilor named Sonny McDonough. Sonny had a great line about Camelot High — he said it was where you go to learn how to lose elections.

How true. Probably more true today than ever. Because one of the other “fellows” appointed with Chelsea is none other than Robby Mook, whom the Institute describes as “a nationally recognized campaign manager and strategist who ran the 2016 presidential campaign for Hillary Clinton.”

Talk about knowing how to lose an election.

Hey Robby, give me a call. I’ll buy you a drink at the Faculty Club — oh no, I forgot, I never took them up on their generous offer. But that’s okay — do you know Charlie’s Kitchen, Robby? It’s around the corner from Camelot High.

Bring Chelsea. It’s the least one Fellow can do for a felon.

Go to howiecarrshow.com to buy tickets for Howie’s Kennedy Babylon show next Friday at the Hanover Theater in Worcester.