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Australia has no shortage of hokey dating shows; each one desperately trying to out-gimmick each other in the hope that one day you’ll start hate-watching it and get hooked.

Sometimes that works: The Bachelor and Farmer Wants A Wife both had consistently good ratings. Sometimes it doesn’t: do you remember When Loves Comes To Town, Australia’s Perfect Couple, Four Weddings, Dating in the Dark, Please Marry My Boy or Chains of Love? Probably not. You may have chosen to do something more pleasurable with your time, like tenderly massaging your eyeballs with hot BBQ tongs.

Now, in a mysterious Facebook post yesterday afternoon, Channel Nine have announced their latest offering to this exhilarating genre: Married at First Sight. It’s exactly what it sounds like.

Originating in Denmark, the reality show — framed as a “social experiment” — has since travelled around the world, deemed a breakout hit in the US. In each series, a panel of “relationship experts” — who specialise in psychology, spirituality, sociology, and looking very contemplative while pretending to read a book — match up two strangers, and the pair get married in the first episode despite having never met. The rest of the episodes then look at their first few months together as husband and wife.

For a taste of those totally zany antics, here’s the US trailer:

Channel Nine have had this in the works for some time now. The show was first announced in late 2013, before being delayed after another of their dating shows failed dismally. “I think it’s going to create some noise and controversy and it’s a good thing for us to have people talking about the show,” Nine’s Head of Programming Andrew Backwell told TV Tonight at the time. “I think we’ll be criticised that we’re playing with the sanctity of marriage and people will have an opinion one way or the other. But I’m hoping people will come and see the reaction of each couple, as they see each other at the altar for the first time. That moment is priceless.”

Finally, it appears the network has found the perfect time to finally begin promoting the show: the week the Australian senate prepares to finally talk about same-sex marriage.

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Do You See The Problem Here?

“The concept is offensive,” read one Facebook comment, as noted by our sister site Same Same. “Hetros playing games with their ‘right for marriage’ when so many gay couples cannot be legally united. It proves marriage is not a religious practice and should not be subject to religious dogma over equality.”

“This is legal yet gay marriage isn’t?! Something is very wrong here Australia!” said another.

In fact, even as LDP Senator David Leyonhjelm prepares to introduce his bill to the Senate on Thursday and inside reports suggest Liberal MPs could be coming around, the discussion around the topic has been pretty disheartening. The Australian Christian Lobby have spammed MPs with 1.6 million emails compelling them not to give in to a free vote on the issue, and Minister for Social Services Scott Morrison — whose new title is still a sad, never-ending national joke — has taken this moment to once again make his opinion known.

“For me this is ultimately about a child’s natural right to a mother and father,” he wrote in a detailed letter to a constituent, sourced by Same Same. “I believe that this right should be protected in all Commonwealth laws, especially the Marriage Act. I am extremely disappointed by the recent decision of the NSW Parliament to legalise same sex adoption. However, I do not consider this error should be compounded by our federal parliament.”

Good argument from Scott Morrison against same-sex marriage, that's why he works so hard to help refugee families pic.twitter.com/Gp40T0S13G — Bec (@Brocklesnitch) March 23, 2015

No word yet on his thoughts about Married at First Sight.

While Channel Nine haven’t released any further promo material — or even announced a release date — it’s clear they’ve basically reached the objective of their show: “Noise and controversy”. But with 72% of the country now supporting marriage equality, that’s probably a risky-ass bet to take with your ratings. If outrage always translated into success, Hey Hey It’s Saturday would still be going strong.

“I love this idea,” Heidi Stevens wrote in The Chicago Tribune, when the show debuted in the US. “Not because it will lead to three beautiful, blissful unions. It won’t, obviously. But because it forces us to reckon with, once again, our complete and utter hypocrisy about marriage.”

“Bring it on,” she continued. “Remind me, yet again, that marriage is an institution strong enough to withstand some pretty major nonsense. Give me one more example of how someone else’s union — someone I don’t know and will likely never cross paths with — has absolutely no bearing on the success or failure of mine … And then explain to me what exactly we’re defending marriage against.”

The fact that marriage is now a sad gimmick on a C-grade reality show obviously won’t convince hesitant members of the LNP to vote in favour of the Freedom to Marry bill, but it certainly pokes a few holes in their arguments.

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