FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT

As Australian residents deal with the new reality of lockdowns and cancelled social events, a new incentive to quickly find and implement a cure has emerged; the looming threat the virus poses to Christmas in July celebrations.

According to early reports, many Christmas in Julys have been moved to the end of the year; in most cases to the popular late December period which many people already have off work.

“I’m upset that I have to move my famous Christmas in July to late December,” says ageing socialite Hyacinth Hors-Doeuvre.

“But I needed to move it to a part of the year when people don’t normally have many engagements. The question is will Christmas in July in December work? I think it can.”

Others aren’t so sure.

“Dunno” stated local gatecrasher Roger “Thommo” Thompson.

“Like, it’s a good excuse for a piss-up, so maybe people won’t give a shit when it’s on as long as they can smash a few cans,” he said.

“But, you know, Christmas in July relies on the semi-ironic juxtaposition of Christmas themes at a non-Christmas point in the calendar, and relegating such an event to the festive season could undermine it’s raison-d’être, if you will. I reckon the viability of this concept is heavily dependent on whether they crank the Michael Bublé CD or not.”

Roger did not elaborate on whether he considered the playing of the Michael Bublé CD to be a bad thing or a very bad thing.