The bands says that their new Metallica-themed, fentanyl-laced soft drink, Ride the Lightning, will hit the shelves early this summer.

In the wake of the successes of Metallica branded whiskey and beer, the band is now expanding into another recreational beverage market, which should be available just in time for the 2019 festival season.

“We’re super-fucking stoked,” Lars Ulrich says. “And this isn’t just some half-assed fentanyl cut with baby powder and meth. We decided that if we were going to do this, it needed to be a high-quality product that we could actually stand behind.”

Ride the Lightning is a kombucha-based brew that is fortified with the popular painkiller. The living symbiotic culture of bacteria and yeast, called a Scoby, that will be used to produce the drink will be immersed in the music of Metallica during the process; reportedly to imbue it with the energy and spirit of the thrash metal stalwarts.

“There’s so much bad shit going around out there, and people are dying. So we feel like by providing pure fentanyl in careful doses, we might actually save a few lives,” Lars goes on. “And it tastes fucking sick.”

Fentanyl is a controlled substance, and a prescription will be needed to purchase the beverage, which will be sold in cans by the case. A prescription for the drug can easily be attained at any participating Metallica Medical Unit location worldwide.

Written by Joshua Scott Hotchkin

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