Sleep easy, Queenslanders. You’re already laden with ferals protesting Adani. Tasmania, you’re the birthplace of the Greens. Our sympathies. Western Australia, we know what the mining downturn has done to your state, even before taking into account the impact of having Troy Buswell running a tab with Treasury. And South Australia, you have more than enough on your hands with Nick Xenophon, the inheritor of Big Kev’s crown for subtle advertising.

Sydney and Melbourne, however, should stand by for the opposite of a victory tour. The biggest loser is coming (but minus the Commando, as the American Ambassador in Benghazi learned at the cost of his life):

Former Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton is coming to Australia to talk about her future plans after losing the 2016 US election to Donald Trump. Mrs Clinton is expected to give a candid account of the presidential election and share stories from her New York Times bestseller, What Happened. Mrs Clinton’s tour An Evening With Hillary Rodham Clinton is being planned by The Growth Faculty. Since leaving office Mrs Clinton has commanded up to US$300,000 (A$379,000) for delivering major speeches. Tickets for An Evening with Hillary start at $195. According to a blurb for the event, Mrs Clinton will “free from the constraints of running … share the intense personal experience of becoming the first woman nominated for president by a major party in an election marked by rage, sexism, exhilarating highs and infuriating lows, stranger-than-fiction twists, Russian interference, and an opponent who broke all the rules.” The event promises to reveal: “What Happened and what’s next. “Secretary Clinton explains how she got back up after a loss, and how we can all look ahead. “An illuminating insight into Secretary Clinton’s experience as a woman in politics — she lets loose on this topic, and others, in a way she never has before…” Mrs Clinton’s tour kicks off in New Zealand on May 7, followed by Melbourne on May 10 and a final show in Sydney at the ICC Sydney Theatre at Darling Harbour on May 11.

As they say, life’s tough in the big city. And haven’t we had enough of the whinging – or indeed paid enough already? Somebody should ask Mrs Clinton about what happened to $88 million donated by the Australian government to the Clinton Foundation. It’s the equivalent of some 450,000 Australians buying the cheapest tickets to her show, but without being consulted. Arthur Chrenkoff blogs at The Daily Chrenk where this piece also appears. Got something to add? Join the discussion and comment below.