OCTOBER 12--What kind of a person steals a donut from a car, proceeds to pull down her pants and urinate in a parking lot, and, when being questioned by cops, offers to perform a sex act on the officer for $80?

Meet Shantell Ishem.

The Oklahoma woman, 27, was nabbed early yesterday morning in connection with a bizarre incident outside a convenience store in Bartlesville, according to an amusing police affidavit.

After pinching the donut from a parked truck, Ishem allegedly relieved herself outside the OnCue convenience store. The vehicle’s owner, Jason Jones, “desired prosecution for the theft of his donut,” cops noted. Ditto store clerk Jeremy Binkley, who wanted Ishem, pictured in the mug shot at right, prosecuted for trespassing.

When apprised that she was under arrest for vehicle burglary, trespassing, and indecent exposure, Ishem “said she understood.” Ishem then noted that she was “sitting on (her) money maker,” and allegedly began propositioning Officer R.S. Detherow. She offered to perform a sex act on the cop for $80, and “became explicit and said that she would ‘speak into the microphone’ and other such metaphors for fellatio.”

Those metaphors are not further described in Detherow’s affidavit, which notes that Ishem was also charged with soliciting prostitution.

She is being held in lieu of $20,000 bond at the Washington County jail. (2 pages)