30 THINGS TO LOVE ABOUT EXERCISE (None of Which Have Anything to Do with Your Weight, Your Size, or What You Look Like)

1. Working out is an immune-system booster, which is great since no one actually enjoys being a mobile snot fountain.

2. Exercise builds ferociously sturdy little old ladies (and men): it’s fantastic for your bones, reduces the risk of Alzheimer’s, and improves balance and coordination.

3. Exercise reduces symptoms of both depression and anxiety. Organic, legal DIY mellowness is a pretty sweet side effect.

4. Working out helps regulate your blood pressure, reducing the effects of things like traffic jams and not being allowed to strangle that one coworker who really, really needs it.

5. Exercising makes you smarter: research shows that exercise incorporating complex movement, especially, makes people learn better and faster.

6. Working out hath charms to soothe the savage metabolic system, encouraging insulin sensitivity and making diabetes management a little easier.

7. Regular exercise tends to generate major mojo. And by mojo, I mean increased sex drive and sexual responsivity. Yeah, baby.

8. If you suffer from insomnia, exercise helps, and not just because it tires you out; it also helps your body regulate its own rhythms.

9. Workouts boost levels of neurochemicals like dopamine and serotonin, which is like getting a biochemical massage in terms of counteracting stress.

10. You’ll be able to sing louder and dive deeper with your improved lung capacity.

11. Your joints get stronger and less prone to injuries and diseases, including tricky ones like repetitive stress injuries and arthritis.

12. It enables you to satisfy those urges to reenact dance numbers from Broadway musicals. So what if you’re in the grocery store?

13. Will you be able to snatch a speeding bullet out of the air? Maybe not, but working out does improve people’s reaction time.

14. Endorphins—mmmmm, sweet, sweet endorphins: the “runner’s high” isn’t just for runners, ya know.

15. Outrunning the zombies.

16. It makes you strong. You never know when you’ll need to be that person who can carry the suitcase full of gold bars through the airport without anyone being able to tell that it’s so heavy.

17. Your body and your brain get superbly and thoroughly oxygenated, which tends to make you feel peppy and full of mischief.

18. Most of us like to think we’re flexible people who can roll with the punches. Exercising makes it more likely that it’ll literally be true, not just figuratively.

19. If, God forbid, you should get sick, being a regular exerciser can help reduce the length and severity of your illness. It has even been shown to reduce cancer mortality for some kinds of cancer.

20. Exercise can help pregnancy and labor go a lot more smoothly. Afterward, it helps you keep up with the kid.

21. Probiotics and antacids have their place, but if you want to give your digestive system the best possible advantage, there’s nothing like fiber, water, and exercise.

22. Physical competence—just knowing you can count on your body to do stuff effectively and without trouble—is pretty damn nice.

23. It makes your heart happy and efficient to the point that your resting heart rate may get lower.

24. Four words: Exercise-induced mitochondrial biogenesis—exercising can increase the number of mitochondria in your muscle cells, which is just completely geeky cool.

25. Stamina: “Another ten rounds? Sure,” you say. “Bring it … if you can.”

26. You’re much less likely to fall and much more likely to be able to get right back up and brush yourself off if you do.

27. It’s kind of nice not to think twice about getting down on the floor to look for that thing that just rolled under the entertainment center or about how you’ll get up again.

28. It’s eco-friendly. No matter how much you sweat or how hard you breathe, you will not produce toxic waste or greenhouse gases.

29. It gives you a bulletproof excuse. “Sorry, Aunt Linda, of course I’d love to hear all about your colonoscopy, but I have to go or I’ll be late to Pilates.”

30. Juicy ideas and spicy epiphanies seem to be attracted to sweat and gym socks. Moving your body is a fantastic way to jump-start your brain.