There are still 27 days and 15 hours until this Eli Roth film of an election comes to a close, and literally the only thing that's keeping me from bringing cyanide pills to work is Samantha Bee's debate commentary. Sunday's debate sucked hard, unless you enjoy watching a prevaricating narcissistic fascist mangle the English language while fucking a chair, but Bee's recap of the showdown between a "well-prepared if uninspiring public servant and a crotch-fondling slab of rancid meatloaf" is, at least a small respite from the madness.

Honestly, though, how much more of this horror show must we endure? How are we at all giving credence to this swamp creature who openly lied at least 9 times onstage and seems to hang out exclusively in the locker rooms at Westworld? Can we be done with this American experiment now?

Speaking of so-called "locker room talk," it appears Trump actually kicked WWE star Maria Kanellis off a season of Celebrity Apprentice because she said fellow contestant Curtis Stone "took a crap, and left the stench in the [dressing] room," on a 2010 episode. Trump told her, "This is my boardroom. It's not a locker room. Maria, you’re fired."

Trump, somehow, has neither been fired from this election nor from my personal night terrors, and it appears that he's been unshackled by the oppressive Republican Powers That Be, so.

It is so nice that the shackles have been taken off me and I can now fight for America the way I want to. — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 11, 2016

27 days and 15 hours. 27 days and 15 hours. 27 days and 15 hours. 27 days and 15 hours. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out.