A Reminder That One of the Internet's Worst Human Trash Fires Still Writes For Amy Schumer

By Vivian Kane | Pajiba Love | August 16, 2016 |



Amber Heard and Johnny Depp have settled their divorce. Their joint statement that they both signed is the clearest “let’s just both drop it” contract possible. No matter how much most of us here would have liked to see him actually be held accountable for his actions, we can be glad that Heard is out of this mess. (DListed)

For all of our not super friendly feelings about Kim Kardashian, I always respected that her choices seemed to come out of a no-fucks-given, unapologetically brash sense of feminism. I guess I was wrong. (Celebitchy)

Just a reminder that comedian Kurt Metzger, who also writes for Amy Schumer, is human garbage. Just a trash fire of rape-joke-loving misogyny, all the time. (Medium)

Here’s the story behind that insane Usain Bolt picture. The photographer wasn’t even assigned to the event; he just “ran off for four minutes” to take some pictures of the race. (Mashable)

I’m sorry, is dressage a thing you all knew about and didn’t share with me? Were we aware that HORSE DANCING is an official Olympic sport? You may have heard about the horse that danced to Santana’s “Smooth,” but most of those videos have been taken down. If you can suffer through the drunken Today Show hosts, you can see that horse plus bonus Vanilla Ice horse-hop. (NBC Olympics)

If you like Tegan and Sara (of course you do) and Bojack Horseman (double of course), here’s your new favorite thing.

How is the racist trope of the anthropomorphic cartoon “gangster gorilla” still a thing that exists? (Revelist)

Dancing With the Stars has been courting Bill Clinton for a full decade. It’s so far beneath him, but oh man do I want to see that happen. (US)

Andy Murray had to remind a reporter that his double Olympic wins don’t constitute a “first” because the Williams sisters exist. (Mic)

Few things make me feel more out of touch than cable ratings listings. (Uproxx)

The Golden Probes are now my #1 most anticipated awards show, celebrating “outstanding achievements in the fields of sexism and anti-abortion extremism.” Best Original Science, especially, is a genius category idea. (Lainey)

How are the ratings for Mr. Robot and Preacher this summer? Better than you’ve heard. (Uproxx)

This creepy, cuddly, unblinking cuttlefish is definitely in the Pajiba family, right? (Geekologie)

Beth Ellen gives three stars to Jesse Eisenberg’s debut collection of short stories, Bream Gives Me Hiccups. "Mostly overall they were fun. I was entertained for my commute, and unlike the other short story collection I read this year I wasn’t left with a feeling of self-loathing for having read garbage." Sometimes that’s all you can ask for. (Cannonball Read 8)



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