The craziest things happen during the course of litigation in Texas. From threatening to enlarge opposing counsels’ assholes and forcing associates to spy on jurors to using terms like “c*nt” and “dumb sh*t” when referring to colleagues and calling partners “uppity bitches,” things can get a little loco in the Lone Star State.

Bad behavior like this is usually on the part of the lawyers themselves, not their clients. But maybe the clients have decided to take some cues from their lawyers. In Texas, clients now think it’s cool to threaten to anally rape testifying deponents, question lawyers’ sexual orientation, threaten to fight them on the record, and show up to videotaped depositions wearing t-shirts emblazoned with multiple f-bombs.

We always knew that things could get a little wild during depositions, but not this wild….

The underlying case deals with multiple contract issues, but we’re far more interested in plaintiff Geary Trigleth’s alleged conduct. As you’ll soon be able to see, we’re dealing with a very, very angry man:

How dare this man threaten to anally rape the deponent in front of the paralegals and secretaries! (Recall that this happened at a firm that allegedly had a “no-fraternization” policy between males and females behind closed office doors.) Down in Texas, lawyers still care about chivalry.

During Trigleth’s own deposition, he allegedly became very upset when a lawyer, J. Mitchell Little, initiated a line of questioning about Trigleth’s alleged attempts to acquire a mail-order bride via wire transfer:

Alas, it seems that in Trigleth’s world, anyone who isn’t down with purchasing mail-order brides is gay. We hate to be presumptuous, but we sincerely hope things are working out with your lovely wife, Olga.

Trigleth then threatened Little with physical violence, referring to the lawyer as “Buckwheat” before and after his macho-man tirade, which was all recorded by a court reporter. Otay, Trigleth! Let’s see what you’ve got:

Trigleth apparently wanted to go mano-a-mano with opposing counsel — he was “physically aggressive, standing a mere inch or so from Mr. Little, and there was a real risk of a physical confrontation between Mr. Trigleth and Mr. Little.” The deposition was suspended, and was not continued until months later.

At that time, Trigleth was “more subdued” in terms of his language, but his clothes spoke volumes.

(Flip to the next page to continue reading and see Trigleth’s awesomely inappropriate outfit.)