Beach Spin Becca is a Senior Editor for All About The Tea. She's a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. Her bio is short, but her snark is endless. She loves writing for the sharpest posters in the world.

As we approach the much anticipated “Real Housewives of New Jersey” reunion, many viewers are wondering how the rookies of the season will handle themselves in the Bravo hot seat. One of the more cryptically presented newbies is Bobby Ciasulli, who has been pictured as a humble, middle class, working guy and devoted “Housewife” boyfriend. His relationship with Nicole Napolitano has raised many skeptical eyebrows, and his motives for being on the show have appeared shady from the start.

All About the Tea began uncovering the real Bobby Ciasulli in an earlier report, exposing him as an undercover millionaire, whose family owns several lucrative auto dealerships. He has also flaunted himself via giddy photos posted on his Facebook, as a bona fide “Housewives” groupie, who has actively pursued encounters with numerous Bravolebrities. So why the seemingly manipulated portrait of a middle class, monogamous commoner? All About the Tea has EXCLUSIVELY obtained a copy of Bobby’s bio, which was submitted to Bravo with the goal of selling himself as a viable candidate for “Housewife” stardom.

All I can say after picking myself up off the floor from uproarious laughter is…WOW!!! The cringe worthy prose in this bio is just another piece of the puzzle that points to an intentional collaboration in the bogus depiction of Bobby Ciasulli. So much for reality TV! Bobby launched his pitch by proudly declaring that he is one loaded hunk of sex appeal.

“I go by Bobby, not Robert, and defiantly not Bob. I live in Colts Neck NJ in a home that holds 9000 square feet of sexiness on over 2 acres of property.”

He lists among his current loves:

“cruising in my Ferrari and hitting the Mediterranean in my families 110 foot yacht.”

He goes on to boast of his fierce bachelor prowess, perhaps hoping for the chance to set the Jersey franchise on fire with his sheer virility.

“I’ve been coined names like the Fonz, Richard Gear, bachchelor Bobby, and of coarse big sexy because of the serial dating ive done over the last year and a half. So either I’m a big fish in a small pond or I have some amazing colognes.”

I am assuming at this point, that the pivotal Dunkin Donuts meeting with his supposed TV sweetheart had not yet taken place. The complete absence of any acknowledgement of Nicole as his serious girlfriend indicates that this love affair was an alleged facade from the get go. He tells of his job as a local volunteer fire fighter by noting “flying down the road in a half million dollar red truck,” as one of his several ultra masculine hobbies. A commonly held rumor claims that this endeavor just made the list a couple of months prior to filming, therefore knocking the beefcake hero factor down a few notches. Sorry, Bobby!

Read the entire contract below:

I guess that Bravo wasn’t in the market for an uber hot, uptown, Ferrari cruising, playboy stud. It appears clear that forces were presumably joined to contrive the character that we all witnessed this season. Based on Bobby’s tendency to run and hide when things become heated, I believe that the suspected whitewash was more difficult to pull off than he expected. So which Bobby will show up at the reunion? Hopefully, there’s a cozy little bathroom on set, maybe with his name written on a cute star stuck to it’s door, just in case.

I’ll close with a few special words of farewell from Ciasulli himself. Could this be the flash of virtuoso that landed him his coveted shot at fame?

“ Anyway, that’s a bit of the sexiness I can share with you today. This show is about fun, drama, the good life, and being sexy as hell.”

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