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Have you ever wanted to live the life of an Argentinean soccer player? Is your main complaint about Sweeney Todd the fact that you can’t find reviews for that restaurant on Yelp? Did you find that one horrifying episode of Mythbusters intriguing, but in the end, insufficiently delicious?

Then get your rump roast to Wesker and Son butchers at London’s Smithfield Market, where they’re selling everything you need to host a Donner party. Human hands for the equivalent of $8? So cheap! Kids, we’re having ladyfingers tonight!

Of course, this is actually just animal meat dressed up to look like human meat, but some of it is … pretty convincing. Photos below this point are a bit more graphic, fair warning. I’d tell you to just keep repeating to yourself “it’s only normal meat that someone has lovingly sculpted into the shape of human body parts,” but I could see how that wouldn’t help much. Also, there are penises.

I think we should all be eating less meat anyway, and come to think of it, this is probably a good way to achieve that. But then again, wouldn’t this prosciutto hand be nice grilled and wrapped around some figs? Tasty AND suggestive!

IT’S JUST MEAT IT’S JUST MEAT I PROMISE

Annnnnnnd there are the penises. If you’re currently howling “whyyyyyyyyyy?” the answer is “because the Resident Evil 6 video game.” This shop is basically a fucked-up marketing gimmick. Which hardly seems like a sufficient reason.

If you’re not thoroughly grossed out yet, evaluate your life, but also you can go see more photos at The Picky Glutton.

See: Human meat – Wesker and Son butchers at Smithfield Market,

The Picky Glutton