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Allo Allo – Ashley To Sell Newcastle To His Ukrainian Double?

Allo Allo,

Now I understand on transfer deadline day everyone seems to have an Uncle, Friend, Cousin, Cat-walker that is best friends with a mega-star footballer and they have heard that they are seconds away from signing for whatever club the person writing the article seems to support but………..

In the immortal words of ‘Allo, Allo’, listen carefully as I will say this only once.

When I was 18-19 I worked in Germany for a company who made things to do with aeroplanes. They just did your normal everyday aeroplanes that you and I go on holiday on – however, every now and again some ridiculous order from a oil baron gazillionaire would come in and we would make that plane as a one off for him/her.

I left the company and returned to blighty but stayed in contact through social media and emails with a few of the lads I worked with.

Last weekend I got a very bizzare email from one of the Ukrainian lads who worked there saying that Mikhail Fridman (Chairman of Alfa Group, one of Russia’s largest privately owned investment groups – Forbes assessed his wealth in 2011 as $15.1 billion, making him the 7th richest man in Russia) is in opening talks with Ashley for our club. Now obviously, besides this email I have from someone who worked with me, I have no proof, so as much salt as you want to pinch with this one I suggest.

But it didn’t half get me thinking about how good that would be. Plus other than to wind me up, why would this guy email me this.

Has anybody heard something similar? Would people want him in? It would explain to me Ashley’s failure to spend this summer other than a Remy loan deal. I mean why put any more money into it when someone is willing to take it off your hands.

Having googled this guy, other than looking like Ashley’s Ukrainian double and being in oil, that’s all I know.