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In a move we all saw coming but it still took forever, the House Judiciary Committee approved two articles of impeachment against President Quid Pro Hoe. After a marathon arguing session Thursday night that looked a lot like arguments in my house, the Judiciary Committee voted along party lines to impeach the president, making him the fourth president to face impeachment and the first president who covers his face in orangutan vomit.




According to NPR, Thursday’s fuss fight lasted well into the evening with House Judiciary Chairman Jerry Nadler (D-N.Y.), postponing the vote until Friday morning. Nadler opened Friday’s session with the vote and both articles were approved 23-17. The full House is expected to vote on the articles of impeachment against the worst president in American history on Wednesday, Dec. 18.



Because the president was in the White House stinking up his Depends waiting to hear what the vote was going to be Thursday, he tweeted and retweeted some 100 times, making this the second time during impeachment proceedings that the president found time in his day to make a complete fucking ass of himself.


From Politico:

President Donald Trump flexed his Twitter fingers, blasting out more than 100 tweets and retweets covering everything from the impeachment proceedings and trade to his Mar-a-Lago resort and his upset for TIME Magazine’s Person of the Year honor. The deluge began, as most Trump tweetstorms do, with a reference to a segment on Fox News’ “Fox & Friends” at 6:51 a.m. Touting a new poll that found just over half of registered voters oppose impeaching the president, Trump claimed: “I did nothing wrong. This will be the first Impeachment ever where there was no crime. They don’t even allege a crime. Crazy!” From there, they just kept coming, with the president pumping out more than 80 in a three-hour span. He fired off dozens of tweets and retweets pertaining to the inquiry, reposting supportive messages from his most strident defenders in Congress and his personal attorney Rudy Giuliani. He also amplified baseless claims from a disgraced former Ukrainian prosecutor that Trump’s fired former ambassador to Ukraine perjured herself during her impeachment testimony, while also attacking Democrats.

So now we wait for the full House vote, and if they vote to impeach the president (which is totally going to happen), “the Senate would then begin a trial to determine whether to remove Trump from office or, much more likely in the Republican-led chamber, acquit him,” NPR reports.