Norwich, ON – High hydro bills are a thing of the past for one man who turned off every light in his house, rejected all forms of modernity, and joined a local Amish community.

“I tried everything to conserve electricity, but nothing seemed to work,” explained Jakob Yoder of Norwich, formerly known as Stan Bisla from Ajax. “I turned everything off during peak hours, used cold water to wash my clothes, insulated my windows for winter, and unplugged all of my electronic gadgets, but my bill barely budged in price.”

This all changed when Yoder noticed how efficient the Amish community was at heating and lighting their homes.

“I made a few small sacrifices such as quitting my job, rejecting the conveniences of modern technology, purchasing a farm, learning a very old version of Swiss German, converting to Anabaptist Christianity, and marrying a local. It’s really that simple.”

Yoder saw instant results. He went from a $350 bill in October to $0 bill and no indication of what’s happening in the outside world in November.

According to sources, however, Yoder was outraged when he received a $100 delivery fee despite having no source of electricity.