Few topics rankle the feathers of the video game enthusiast these days quite like that of pre-order bonus content. Whether it's lamenting the excising of content from a game for the sake of releasing it later as a bonus (or paid DLC), offering unlocks for content that's already on the disc, or tossing so many confusing, bizarre options out there that invariably, everyone is going to end up disappointed, there isn't an awful lot to like about pre-ordering games these days.

One of the more extreme examples of pre-ordering insanity comes from WB Games and developer Rocksteady's upcoming Batman sequel, Arkham City. We've heard over the last few weeks about a variety of different pre-order options coming our way, including everything from various Batman character skins, to Joker-oriented challenge maps and even the boy wonder himself. Robin, as a playable character. But between all these different pieces of content, as well as the various retailer exclusivity deals attached to them, figuring out where, how, and why to pre-order has apparently been something of a headache for would-be players.

We know this, because a moderator on the official Arkham City forums actually went to the trouble of creating a pre-ordering guide for anyone trying to figure out where to get the content they want. Yes, that's right: a guide to pre-ordering a game. I'm not completely certain if this is the last sign of the apocalypse before the Horsemen come down and start inflicting plague, pestilence and pre-order bonuses on the screaming, writhing masses, but it certainly looks like it.

The list is especially confusing because different regions have different retailers, and thus the exclusivity deals change depending on which portion of the planet you dwell within. Take a look at this list, and do your best not to go boss-eyed.

The pre-order Robin model.

ROBIN

GERMANY -AMAZON

FRANCE- MICROMANIA

HOLLAND - GAMEMANIA

BELGUIM - GAMEMANIA AND SMARTOYS

ITALY - GAMESTOP

NORDICS- GAMESTOP

NORTH AMERICA - BESTBUY

CANADA - BEST BUY

AUSTRALIA - JB HIFI

MEXICO - GAMERUSH

BATMAN 1970S SKIN

UK- SHOPTONET

FRANCE- AMAZON

ITALY- FNAC

AUSTRALIA - EB GAMES

JOKER DLC MAP (CARNIVAL)

GERMANY - MEDIA MARKT

FRANCE - GAME

HOLLAND AND BELGIUM - FREE RECORD SHOP

ITALY - MEDIA MARKET

US - GAMESTOP

AUSTRALIA - EB GAMES

CANADA- GAMESTOP

ANIMATED SERIES SKIN

GERMANY - SATURN

FRANCE- CASINO

HOLLAND- BART SMIT

BELGIUM - FNAC

ITALY- FELTRINELLI

AUSTRALIA - JB HIFI

BATMAN BEYOND SKIN

UK - GAMESTOP

GERMANY - MULLER GE PLAYART AUSTRIA

FRANCE- AUCHAN

HOLLAND- MICROMEDIA

BELIGUM - HORELEC

ITALY- OPENGAMES

AUSTRALIA - GAME

MEXICO - GAMERS RETAIL

BATMAN YEAR ONE SKIN

GERMANY - EXPERT

FRANCE - FNAC

BELGIUM - DREAMLAND COLRUYT

ITALY- BLOCKBUSTER

Pre-order costumes

BATMAN EARTH ONE SKIN

GERMANY- GAMESTOP

FRANCE- JEUX VIDEO & CO

HOLLAND- GAMEWORLD

BELGIUM- BEMS

ITALY - CIDIVERTE

AUSTRALIA - JB HIFI

US

AMAZON - $10 Amazon credit and Arkham City Comic (print version of the 5 digital comics)

WALMART- $ 10 egift card

Congratulations. If you managed to get through all of that and make it to the other side unscathed, you get your baby brother back and David Bowie will sing you a nice ballad.

The worst part of all of this? It isn't even the complete list. Several territories and retailers aren't even finalized yet, meaning that more layers of obfuscation will be added to the process before we even get within punching distance of playing this game. We've reached out to WB Games for any info as to whether these pieces of content will become paid DLC in the foreseeable future or not, but as of yet have not received a response. I'll update this story if they get back to us.

(Thanks to whatisdelicious for sending this in!)