First things first: Peter Crouch is incredibly tall. You probably already know this because you’ve seen him playing football, either on the telly or watching from the stands, and he is always, by some stretch, the gangliest presence on any pitch. But observing from a distance doesn’t really do him justice. You’ve got to get up close to fully appreciate the scale and proportions of the man. I am 6ft 2in and not used to feeling short. Crouch is 6ft 7in and rake thin, beyond beanpole, with limbs so long that when he walks towards you, smiling, it looks vaguely uncanny, as if he’s some kind of friendly animatronic being. He’s wearing jeans, a grey sweatshirt and still retains a deep summer tan, even though