ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A senior economics professor at South Betoota Polytechnic College made the short walk through Irwin Park this morning on his way to work, wearing only a tasteful pink polo top and some Patagonia action shorts.

That’s despite it being July – a time when our desert community rarely gets above freezing and feet of snow are dumped along the Grey Range on the road to Eromanga.

Hardly a time to be galavanting around campus looking like a half-drunk Rick Stein, looking for a place to urinate publically without campus security catching him.

“You know, I can’t help but laugh,” said Professor Graeme Chambers, who’s been working at our town’s most prestigious technical college for over a decade.

“Just look at me! I’ve even got my Sperrys on! [laughs] My God, the utter state of this planet is just shocking. It’s fucking July for Christ’s sake! I should be dying of exposure right now!”

Our reporter, who happened upon the 62-year-old during a morning run, could tell at this point that he was visibly intoxicated.

Wounds from a long night were still evident on his face.

Merlot-chapped lips and bloodshot eyes. Professor Chambers was unsteady on his feet and appeared to be disorientated. He lost his train of thought a number of times, which frustrated him.

Then, without answering another question or saying anything coherent enough to be printed, Professor Clarke kept on his way through Irwin Park toward his office.

More to come.