BLUFFTON, SC—Local man Russell Morrill told reporters Wednesday that he feels an acute sense of disgust simply at the constant thought of two men kissing. “Just endlessly imagining two dudes making out is enough to make me want to vomit,” said Morrill, 31, adding that the mere persistent mental image of two grown men lovingly embracing, let alone engaging in progressively more intimate acts, leaves him utterly nauseated. “Seriously, all it takes is envisioning two guys sticking their tongues down each other’s throats from the moment I wake up in the morning, and I’m sick to my stomach.” At press time, Morrill said he also cringed just at the incessant idea that his gay coworker would make a move on him and finally set him free.

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