by Scott Ecker

Last week Glee actress Lauren Potter spoke out against the “R-word.” Lauren Potter, a performer with Down syndrome, stated that, “The R-word is a hateful word. We need to stop, to end the R-word in every place.”

So what is the “R-word” exactly? You have probably heard it used in a variety of ways. Often times it used in a derogatory way to demean a person of average intelligence. It is a simple insult that has become part of the common vocabulary. You hear it at school, in movies, small talk. It has become a word that many of us rely on without really thinking about it.

However the “R-word” is actually associated with people. It used to be a term to describe people. The word itself is no longer considered an acceptable label. This is due to the fact that any term for a person with an intellectual disability eventually becomes a common insult. It is called a Euphemism Treadmill. So basically the people that word described will not use it anymore, because people without intellectual disabilities use it as a negative.

When I was employed at a different company I supported a client who worked at the local college. One day the client did not want to go to work, because a student called her the “R-word.” Keep in mind that this was a college, a place of higher education. The client continued that she did not understand how he could tell that she had a disability, because she tried to act normal.

This story bothered me for a variety of reasons. One of which is of course that the college student insulted a friend of mine. But the main thing that stands out to me is what the client said about trying to act normal. She understands that the “R-Word,” can be used to describe her, was used in a negative way and now she wants to act like something she is not.

She tries to act “normal.” That is the implication in the “R-word.” You are not “normal” and that is wrong. Well that student can be classified as “normal.” Being a college student you could assume that he would have the ability to think about what he said. But this “normal” person with supposedly higher abilities hurt another person’s feelings just by using a word to belittle her.

I have totally been that guy in the past who calls out people for their use of the word. The usual response I would receive often had something to do with it just being a word or people are too sensitive. In a day and age where we are all obsessed with the internet and text messages, how can we claim that words do not matter?

The way we speak affects and reflects the way that we think. Flippantly referring to things in terms that are associated with people very clearly gives the message that those people are lesser. Freedom of speech is not just saying anything without consequence just because you can. You also have freedom of thought and the freedom to respect others. So take the time to learn about first person language (i.e. “a person with an intellectual disability”) and think about what you say.

Really, why do you even need the “R-Word” in your vocabulary? There are other words that actually describe what you are trying to convey. Respect is a much better r-word anyway.