Jeb Bush was locked away with old Barbara in the Columbia Hilton on Saturday night. A kid brought coffee and Shredded Wheat, and the pharmacists’ convention whooped it up down the hall. “Mother,” he said, “people just don’t love me like you do.” Barbara adjusted the pin on her blouse—a gift from the Willimantic Junior League, or the Twin Oaks Arbor Club—and put a hand on his shoulder. “Yes,” she said. “I suppose you’re something more than a disappointment. Consider where you failed in telling them so.”

Pathetic. Image: Matt Rourke/Associated Press

You know about Bush’s name, the change in the party, and Trump the big bad bully sucking the air out of the room. It matters, sure, but dwelling on it makes Bush into a victim. He was never going to win, but it didn’t have to be so damn embarrassing. He failed at such a basic level it turns your stomach, like watching a driver tear down the Indianapolis straightaway with a bottle of rye and no seatbelt. Bush fought a pointless war. It’s familiar, I know. Jeb was born fat and lazy, and he panicked at the first obstacle he found. Here comes Trump, the pretender, “new money,” daring to make eyes at Bush’s girl. The political thing is to go around him, but Bush couldn’t have that. He puffed himself up, spit on his hands, and challenged Trump to pistols at dawn.

Now, that's a meaningful thumbs-up. Image: Paul Sancya/Associated Press

Except he couldn’t shoot straight. He couldn’t even load the damn gun. It backfired and cut off his legs. Jeb bled to death in the grass while Kasich ran rings around him. Where Kasich sells unity, dignity, and common sense, Bush resembled the real estate salesman he used to be: jumpy and defensive, always trying like hell to catch up to the mark. Cruz and Rubio are playing the straight Reagan line, but what for? As we discussed, Trump’s people don’t give a damn for the old ideologies. His knock on George W. Bush likely bought him a point in South Carolina; he’s got the desperate and betrayed crowd sewn up, and as he said last night, “as people drop out I’m going to get a lot of those votes too.” That’s right.

Cruz has the air of the preacher who promised a miracle but can’t deliver; his people will go straight up the ladder to the strong man.

Peace is a matter of the balance of power as much as strength. pic.twitter.com/MGZJr1mNfI — Richard M. Nixon (@dick_nixon) February 20, 2016

He and Rubio can talk of cities on hills and “Morning in America” until the cows come home, but it only reminds the guy in the VFW Hall of being sold up the river. Rubio is now Washington’s man; his loss wasn’t so embarrassing this time, and did you know his father came to America with money sewn into his underwear? Rubio is so desperate for the top he’ll do whatever the hell he’s told. I’m sure Wolfowitz has been in touch. But backing Rubio is a mistake. I wouldn’t do it for a million bucks and the keys to Disneyland.

My God, think of what Trump did to Bush. He will make short work of Rubio. For better or worse, Bush had a record to stand on. Rubio has—what? Six years of running for president? And the policy experience of a county commissioner before that, with a tendency to fold like your aunt at a poker game when someone sneezes on him. Don’t forget the rumors, either. I can hear Trump now: "Marco, he’s a wonderful guy. I don’t know what he is, exactly, a man’s marriage is not my business, but if he has secrets, well, that’s between him and his wife. For a president, though? They can be blackmailed. Do you want that? Me, I can’t be bought . . ."

If Rubio loses Florida, and Kasich wins Ohio and Michigan, we’re nearer to a convention fight than we’ve been in 70 years. I won’t be a candidate in that case, but I will stand up for Kasich, who, as I said, is the best chance to put the kooks out to pasture.

Kasich will win Ohio on March 15 and Rubio will lose Florida. — Richard M. Nixon (@dick_nixon) February 21, 2016

As for the Democrats, Sanders is no longer a wolf at Mrs. Clinton’s door. At worst he’s a dog who won’t shut up. Nevada, which I called “the O.K. Corral,” proves she can keep minorities inside. That gets the press off her back and sets her up for a strong win in South Carolina. On March 1 she’ll take all but Vermont and perhaps Massachusetts. Sanders has plenty of money and no incentive to quit. But short of an indictment, Mrs. Clinton’s path is assured. He ought to bargain for the future now, an endorsement in return for letting Warren have her way with the banks, something like that. Mrs. Clinton must listen. It seems self-evident, perhaps, but it is not her strong suit. Dismissing Sanders as a crank would make the Democrats eat each other alive. We know what that looks like now.

It opens the door to things far worse than the enemy we're used to.

Richard Nixon never left us. With the help of playwright Justin Sherin, he continues to speak his mind as @dick_nixon on Twitter.