The world of insufferable neighbourhood snobbery moves fast. It can be hard to track the changing trends in what improvement to an area one is expected to protest.

Once upon a time, after all, the discerning gentry would decry a new Starbucks location. Not too long ago, some upstanding citizens in Cabbagetown drew a line in the sandbox over playground umbrellas that didn’t draw from the “heritage” colour palette. Up in the leafy prestige enclave of Lawrence Park this week, they mostly successfully fought off the proletarian scourge of sidewalks — ensuring another generation of refined children an authentic “Frogger” experience on their walks to school.

It’s hard out there for a snob, finding novel marks of supposed distinction to defend.

So full credit to some residents of the Junction Triangle, who proudly describe their neighbourhood as “gentrifying,” for landing on what I think is a new complaint. They started a petition — granted one which had only attracted 187 signatures by Friday afternoon — to protest the prospective indignity of being able to pay less for groceries.

At least that’s what I take to be the message of the petition, which protests a decision by the grocery company Metro Inc. regarding its tenancy in the base of the Fuse condo building at Lansdowne and Dupont. It seems that for a few years, they have had signs up indicating a Metro-branded grocery store would eventually open there. Now they have decided to instead open a location of Food Basics, their discount grocery chain.

For those not versed in the distinctions between supermarket brands, I did a little research. The Food Basics sign is green, and the Metro sign is red. A “colossal cantaloupe” at Food Basics this week will cost you $1.88, according to the current flyer, while at Metro the price is $3.49. Mangoes in the Food Basics flyer are 99 cents each, while over at Metro they’re advertised three for $5. At Metro you can get top sirloin grilling steak for just under $6.99 a pound, while for 10 cents less a pound at Food Basics you can get striploin.

You see what I’m driving at. The key difference seems to be that Food Basics charges less for things. Now to some of us, this sounds like a feature. But it sure bugs the heck out of the petition’s authors and signers, assuming that in fact this is not some satirical art project.

“Realestate (sic) has been sold on the promise of the convenience of a 24hr Metro. Anyone who bought a place in this neighbourhood based on that broken promise should consider a class action suit,” one signer says.

“BRING BACK METRO I MOVED TO THIS AREA WITH THE PROMISE OF KNOWING A GOOD GROCERY STORE WAS COMING TO THIS UP AND COMING AREA,” another wrote. “FOOD BASICS WOULD BE A MAJOR STEP IN THE WRONG DIRECTION AND WOULD ONLY BRING THE KIND OF PEOPLE BACK TO THIS FLOURISHING PART OF OUR CITY!!”

Now, as someone who lives an equal distance from a No Frills — the Loblaw’s-owned discount chain equivalent of Food Basics — and a Metro, I have to say my family generally happily shops at the former, and that I was previously unaware that the latter was considered any kind of status symbol.

I’m used to certain questions at parties that seem like they might be a form of social sorting (“What do you drive?” “What do you do?” “Where did you go to school?”) and am not oblivious to the snobberies beneath some of them. But I’ve yet to encounter a situation while I was trying to figure out which fork to use when the topic of where we buy our frozen corn has come up.

I mean, I guess it has sometimes seemed from the way some people talk as if organic farmer’s markets are sometimes about being seen shopping at an organic farmer’s market (or being heard discussing shopping at them). And I suppose I always imagined shopping at Pusateri’s is, for some people, a demonstration to self and community that one can afford to do so. It’s a grocery store with valet parking, after all.

But Metro? Really?

This seems like getting snotty about driving a Honda Civic, the most common car in Canada. (In which case, snob away I guess. I drive a Dodge Caravan, the least cool vehicle possible — the van for family people who have entirely dropped out of the automotive cool sweepstakes.)

And at Lansdowne and Dupont? Again, I say, really?

You just bought a condo across the street from the Coffee Time, a half block away from Galleria Mall. Please don’t interpret those references as insults — I have great affection for the neighbourhood and many places in it. But its character doesn’t come from conventionally trendy or upscale retail landmarks. Typically people get self-righteous defending the existing character of the neighbourhoods they love. Apparently here some people are upset that the new store reflects the existing character too much.

People who moved there openly hoping it would transform into something more generically middle-of-the-road, now throwing a fit when that slightly more expensive blandification isn’t happening fast enough.

Certainly it’s unlikely that Food Basics is planning to open as an insult to residents. More probably, it’s because they think there’s a great market for their brand of retail in the area.

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And I must say, it’s been reassuring to hear directly and to see online a large negative reaction to this petition from many other residents of the neighbourhood. People who are happy to save a buck and a half when they buy a cantaloupe. People who feel like a discount grocer is a great service to them and their neighbours. People who love the neighbourhood for what it is and moved there (or stayed there) because of that love.

Those are the kind of people it’s always great to hear from whenever the insufferable neighbourhood snobs raise their voices and noses in protest. Because those are the kind of people you can stand with while you all point and laugh.