Anti-blackness is the root cause of Ferguson and it is rampant here in Madison. Professor John Powell at the White Privilege Conference spoke to the ways that our brains’ neuropathways actually become hardwired to reinforce the racism we take in from everything in society — even children who are only several months old. In the absence of other neuropathways that create positive associations with black people, our brains’ only association on a subconscious level are suspicion, criminality, violence, anger, fear, and lack of value.

Anti-black conditioning is ingrained in all of us. This is my reality even as a white woman with a black wife, a multiracial black child, and many black people I call family and friends. For me, fear of blackness plays out primarily through fear of having a conflict with a black person or being called a racist. In conflicts with my wife, Tonia, I still struggle with getting over my fear of her anger. Perhaps most disturbing, when my son, Zion, was wearing cornrows and a do-rag, I noticed myself suddenly seeing him as “other.” For me, there is something about particular black cultural aspects that I have been conditioned to fear even in my own 3-year-old son. The fact that my subconscious anti-black racism can come up in moments with my own family terrifies me.