Gaming’s Punniest Achievements

If you’re like me then you love gathering achievements, enjoy the sophisticated humour of the pun, and have no friends (congratulations, you’re a loser). Sometimes the former two combine in a glorious culmination of the satisfactory achievement pop and the brief exhaling of excess air to signify that you found something particularly amusing. I applaud these developers who saw an opportunity, got told to never make that joke again, so naturally put it in the game. I will take you through some of my favourite achievement puns. Obviously I will be focusing purely on achievements that produce the best puns, so inside joke achievements, memes, references, sassy developers and just funny achievements are all out, it was a difficult decision to leave some of them out.

Legendary – “DouBull TrouBull” (1G) and “I Owe You An Apology” (14G)

I had a lot of fun researching these puns, mostly by spending a large amount of time debating whether the achievement counted as a pun. However these achievements needed no debate, they ticked all the boxes, firstly the pun was forced and terrible, secondly upon reading them I exhaled sharply from my nose to signify that, yes, this was slightly amusing.

Legendary was release in 2008 from developer Spark Unlimited and follows profession thief, Charles Deckard who mistakenly steals Pandora’s Box as part of a contracted job. Deckard goes on to do the one thing we are told not to with mysterious evil boxes, and that is to open them. Upon opening the box he unleashes a myriad of mythical creatures such as the Kraken, Minotaurs, my girlfriend, Griffins and so on, but also gives him a signet ring that contains great power, because why not….or to signify hope from Pandora’s box.

Anyway the achievement is obtained by surviving the double Minotaur attack in Episode 8. You must complete this in order to progress with the game, therefore you cannot miss this achievement.

“All that work for 1G and a terrible pun?” I hear you cry, have no fear my friends, once this achievement pops the developer will instantly apologise with the second achievement “I Owe You An Apology” for a lovely 14 G. That should Spark some interest in the game…no….no one? Spark, like the developer? Moving on.

LEGO Harry Potter Years 1-4 – “Solid Snape” (15G)

The LEGO games deserve a list of their own for amusing achievement names. Unfortunately the “One does not simply” achievement from LEGO Lord of the Rings does not count here as I would count it as a Meme or reference. I know technically “Solid Snape” is also a reference, but also a pun…a punference.

To get this achievement, one must simply hide in a barrel as Snape. Get it? It’s a Donkey Kong pun. Snape sounds like Snake, Snakes are often linked to Ladders (don’t even try and replace it with Chutes and Ladders), Ladders are used by Mario to climb up and rescue the Princess from Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong throws barrels. Now do you get it? Well you shouldn’t because that was utter nonsense! It’s obviously a punference to Solid Snake’s barrel hiding antics in the Metal Gear Solid series.

Metal Gear Solid 2 HD – “Snake Beater” (10G)





Speaking of Metal Gear Solid, our next entry comes from the second game in the series. I had to include this, it has all the ingredients for comedy, it contains a penis reference and it…it um…, well it’s just a dick joke, therefore it makes the list.

Now you must go out of your way to get this achievement, the first person who ‘accidentally’ discovered this has some serious explaining to do… “I was admiring her fashion sense?”, likely story first guy to discover this achievement. To get this shameful 10G you must head to Deck A’s locker room in the Tanker chapter, inside one of the lockers is a poster of a woman in her lingerie. Switch to first person view and just wait a little until Snake starts to “get excited” at which point you then phone Otacon who gives you a telling off for not focusing on the mission.

Half life 2: Episode 2 (The Orange Box) – “Flushed” (5G)

In the gaming bundle of The Orange Box you can play Half Life 2: Episode 2. During this game you have the brilliant opportunity to kill people with inanimate objects via the Gravgun. Now if I was placed in that position I would obviously find a nice bit of beef, launch it in the air, turn to the enemy and say “now the steaks are high”, prompting the enemy to shoot me in the face. However if you would have said that the first thing you’d have done is pick up a loose toilet from an abandoned prison cell and shoot it into someone’s face, then congratulations, you have most probably already got this achievement, or figured it out from the title.

The achievement is simple and fairly easy to get. From the Nova Prospekt start point go to the last cell on the left, don’t expect to find Jennifer Lawrence there though or a creepy girl (last House on the Left reference anyone?) contains a loose toilet that can be taken along for your adventure and shot at the nearest enemy you see. Boom 5G in the bag and a little giggle achieved.

Castle Invasion: Throne Out – “Spear me the Pun” (30G)

The game title itself is a pun; this was enough to save the game from being throne out. Add to this an achievement pun and I obviously had to include this entry. Spear Me The Pun is earned when you simply unlock the spear during the game, not too shabby for 30G.

Command and Conquer 3 – “Mister NO it All” (0G)

Command and Conquer was ahead of its time in terms of cut scenes. Did anyone else completely believe that Red Alert had actually caused an invasion of America by the telepathically advanced Russians? Just me? Anyway Command and Conquer have always liked to tap on that 4th Wall and just entertain us outside of the gameplay. In Command and Conquer 3 you can receive a little bit of sass from the developers when you decide to skip the tutorial section in single player. An amusing achievement however with 0G on the line there is little incentive to get it, except the burning need to turn that 99% completion into that round 100% (trust me it’ll eat you from the inside). A shout out goes to the “Welcome to 2047″ achievement for pressing the A button 2047 times (the year the game takes place) which is just a fun little achievement.

Left 4 Dead 2 – “Bridge over Trebled Slaughter” (30G), “Club Dead” (15G), “A Spittle Help from my Friends” (15G)

The Left 4 Dead series may have just won the award for most entertaining and amusing names. I couldn’t help myself to just one from the series for I have given a joint mention to these three.

“Bridge over Trebled Slaughter” may be the most punny achievement I have ever come across, I have a feeling the developer who named this chuckles several times per day as they remember the stroke of genius that is this achievement. That poor developer will never be able to top this, it’s all downhill from here. The achievement is a simple one, yet frustratingly difficult…oh those dents in the wall? Yeah it was like that when I got here. So to get this 30G you just need to cross the bridge finale in under 3 minutes, the amusement you get from the achievement is definitely worth the effort put in to get this achievement.

“Club Dead” is a pretty simple pun on Club Med, but still it’s fairly amusing (as all good puns should be) as all you need to get this 15G is get a kill with every melee weapon. Basically kill a zombie with a Baseball bat, Cricket bat, Crowbar, Electric Guitar, Fire Axe, Fry Pan, Katana, Machete, Police Baton and Chainsaw. It’s a fairly entertaining in itself just to give a zombie a good thwack over the noggin’ with several unusual objects.

“A Spittle Help From My Friends” is again a genius title, such a subtle change but so effective. I need to meet the person who writes the achievements and shake their hand, as they are my hero. For this 15G you need to be Spitter and spit on a survivor who is being chocked by a smoker, sounds like some S&M party or my Tuesday, they all seem to blur together now-a-days.

Call of Duty: Ghosts – “Carbon Faceprint” (10G)

Say what you want about the Call of Duty series, love it or hate it, you must admit that they do seem to have fun with their achievements. World at War had a fair few memorable and amusing achievements attached to it, however it is this achievement in Ghosts that makes the list. I don’t think I need to explain the pun to anyone here, but for those who are just waking up or had a long day, just replace face with foot and enjoy the brief chuckle or pain that arises from a terrible pun. For this achievement all you need to do is catch a falling photocopier with your face in the Federation Day mission as you escape the building. I would have personally gone for Office Surprise as a load of stationary showered you, but that’s why I’m not a developer…among other reasons.

Plants Vs Zombies – “Soil your Plants” (10G)

In the first console version of this adorable and addictive series, you can pretty easily 100% and gather your 200G from the short achievement list. One of the earlier achievements you should unlock is a 10G of pure comic gold “Soil your Plants”, just like Metal Gear Solid’s “Snake Beater” you can’t go wrong with jokes about the male anatomy or faecal matter. This achievement obviously falls into the latter category, just plant your first 10 peashooters and you will soil yourself in excitement as you unlock this achievement.

Left 4 Dead – “Pharm-assist” (20G)

We are back with the gift that keeps on giving, the Left 4 Dead series. This time we pay a visit to the first game in the series; whilst there aren’t as many clear-cut winners in this series there still are some golden ones. “Pharm-assist” requires you to give pain pills to 10 survivors, so get dishing out drugs like you’re a…well a pharmacist.

A bonus achievement joke, that isn’t a pun but I personally love is the “Zombie Genocidest” (20G) achievement which requires you to murder 53,595 of those infected pests. This is a inside joke between developers Valve and Capcom, as Capcom’s Dead Rising have the achievement “Zombie Genocider” (20G) to kill…you guessed it 53,594 zombies. So Valve and the Left 4 Dead team went for the dick move and upped Dead Rising by 1. This was further retaliated in Dead Rising 2 with the overly named “Z-Genocider 2: Genocide Harder” (20G) and that was to kill…yep, 53,596 zombies. Then to shut the game down once and for all Dead Rising 2 went with the “Zombie Genocide Master” (20G) achievement to take down 72,000 zombies, talk about overkill.

Worms 2: Armaggedon – “Cheeky Flocker” (10G)

Worms is an amusing game in itself, attached with British Developer Team 17 there is always likely to be some extract humour. “The Cheeky Flocker” achievement is to deploy 25 Sheep in a ranked match, don’t get fooled this can be an absolute mother-flocker to complete.

Another bonus here is the award for one of the smartest achievements, the “Odynophobiac “(10G) achievement on the Puzzle Pack DLC, which is to take no damage during Puzzle 11. Odynophobia is the fear of pain, now you have that piece of knowledge the achievement makes much more sense. So go out and randomly fit that into a conversation to instantly seem like the smartest person in the room.

What are your favourite gaming puns, let us know in the comments. Or just puns in general, you can never have too many puns. Never!