Communication is vital to build up any long term relationship. Without it, you’re mostly going off of lust, which stays lit until a drizzle of wind blows it out.

When summing up the courage to speak to someone you’re interested in, it’s tricky because you’re wondering what to do and say. You don’t want to make yourself out as a clown when speaking to someone, but don’t want to come off as boring either. You just want to say the right words to charm them into your life and possibly gain a friend or lover.

I recently read an article titled, “To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This.” The title struck me as fascinating and the passage following it blew my mind because it related to psychology and love. It was about a woman who applied psychologist Arthur Aron methods to falling in love with anyone.

In it, she mentions how she followed his routine of procedures with another person, eventually falling heavily attracted to him.

But what I found most fascinating about the article was how possible it was for people to simply fall in love by asking genuine questions. Though physical attraction is the appeal most people go by, once you push past that obstacle, it makes it extremely easier to have someone fall in love with you.

What happens when you ask someone a series of personal questions is that they can’t help but find a deeper attraction for you. That’s because people are naturally defensive when it relates to personal feelings and by sharing their vulnerabilities with you, it tricks them into believing you’re connected to their life.

The more they reveal what’s hidden inside their mind, the more they naturally start to feel connected with you. It’ll be like two people sharing deep secrets with each other.

What normally happens when you’re out with someone is that you both only relate to each other regarding the things that are going on that moment. Though social interactions that way could be efficient when getting to know someone better, it doesn’t trap you inside their mind.

You’ll only be a short term memory they have such as the time they went to an amusement park or arcade. What happens is that if you both are mainly focused on what’s going on at the movies, a concert, or at the park, you’re only settling for temporarily emotions.

To truly connect with someone, you need to ask them questions that’s challenging, thought provoking, and something they wouldn’t answer to the typical stranger. You want to make them question their own values without challenging their thoughts or beliefs.

Through this practice, a stronger bond will form between you and the other person. Rather than being the person who gave them temporarily emotions, you’ll be the stone that connects you with their very soul.

Holding a genuine conversation is difficult when you have nothing to offer, but it’s a lot easier than you think. Rather than choosing to avoid the person or fear saying something silly to your date or love interest, I’ve gathered a list of 30 things to say when conversing with new people. Each question is meant to be fun, and related to their past experiences.

Feel free to tell someone you meet at Starbucks or in your class one of these lines. But for these questions to truly be effective upon the listener’s mind, it’s best to have at least ten minutes of one-on-one conversation with them.

Try having them answer at least 3 – 4 questions from this list to trigger a closer connection with you. By then, the other person you’re speaking to will be more inclined to either give you their number, speak to you again in the future, or start a relationship with you to some degree.

30 Questions To Have Someone Attracted To You

1. What restaurant give you the best memories based on what happened in the past? (I remember spending quality time with my two BFFs at Home Town Buffet and family.)

2. If you could tell your past self only one thing that you know now, what would it be?

3. What weird song do you like to listen to secretly?

4. If you could become any animal for one day, what would it be and why?

5. Have you ever suspected if your toys came alive when you weren’t looking at them?

6. What country would you like to visit if given the chance for one month?

7. Have you ever met a famous person and if not, would you want to?

8. What’s the worst thing someone caught you doing?

9. What was one of the proudest challenges you accomplished?

10. Are there any cartoons you still like to watch (excluding the Simpsons, Family Guy, or any adult cartoons.)

11. If you didn’t have to worry about money, what would you do with your life?

12. What’s the scariest movie you’ve ever seen?

13. What’s one thing you don’t like about yourself?

14. What’s the last skill you learned how to do?

15. What do you think about children behavior these days?

16. How long do you think you’ll be able to last without your cell phone, internet, and social media?

17. What’s something you’ve been scared of since you were a child?

18. What’s your biggest life goal right now?

19. What is your dream job?

20. If you were forced to live somewhere else in the world, where would it be?

21. Do you think aliens or any lifeforms outside Earth exist?

22. If you could gain one ability that wasn’t supernatural,(i.e. super speed, flying, or heat vision) what would it be?

23. What would you consider to be a perfect day?

24. Would you like to be famous and if so, why?

25. How do you feel about the relationship with your family?

26. What’s an embarrassing moment from your life?

27. What’s your definition of friendship?

28. How would you define family values and commitment?

29. When was the last time you did something for yourself?

30. Do you like to sing to yourself when you’re alone?