CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

With an immediate reshuffle in government departments expected over the weekend, and a number of Liberal Party identities to be out of work – many public servants are beginning preparations for reassignment.

However, while this may seem daunting for some – it really is the greatest possible outcome for the poor men and women charged with protecting the apparently important wellbeing of Home Affairs Minister Peter Dutton.

With Dutton likely to be booted from his role as the Member for Dickson, it also means his security detail get their long-awaited reprieve from his brain-dead small-talk and casually racist comments.

“Oh thank fuck” says one AFP security guard, Hazim* (name changed), who was on duty outside Dutton’s multi-million dollar Gold Coast holiday house, 250 kilometres south from his marginal electorate.

“You really, reckon he’s done?” he excitedly asked our reporters.

“I’m gonna tell the missus to break out the champers when we I get home tonight. I can’t tell you how good this is going to be for my mental health.”

“Wait up, I’ll text the boys”

Hazim then quickly took a moment to deliver the good news to his colleagues in a private Whatsapp group chat which went by the nickname ‘Spud Boyz’.

While everyone seems confident that Dutton is one his way out, Peter Dutton remains strong fight of his political life to hold on to the marginal Queensland seat.

He-Who-Shall-Not-Be-Named-Prime-Minister got off to a rocky start this election when he made a pointed remark about Labor candidate Ali France using her disability as an “excuse” not to move into the electorate before a Twitter-storm rained down on him.

Dutton, who holds the seat on a mere 1.69 per cent margin, might be in a bit more trouble then he thinks after today’s news that he has been knowingly resettling Rwandan murderers into the Australian suburbs while also keeping toddlers locked up on Nauru and Manus.