(Note: Kevin Bieksa seems like a great guy in interviews. If he didn’t have a NMC and was making $1.5M/year, awesome. Third pairing guy and occasional healthy scratch? Perfect. But he’s not, so here we are.)

What will the Ducks do to prepare for the upcoming expansion draft? A question that gets asked, answered, and then asked again every few days on all the message boards, rumor blogs, and Twitter replies. How will the Ducks manage all of their assets and their treasure trove of defensive depth? Most speculators and mock expansion drafters have the Ducks giving up one of two handsome Swedes in our own Rack City Rakell or Team Slytherin Silfverberg.

Given the breakout season of 40-goal-scorer Ricky (fingers crossed) and how consistent and solid Silf has been, Anaheim GM Bob “Papa Bob” Murray will have to make some moves to ensure neither of my/the team’s handsome boys gets swiped up during the expansion draft for the Las Vegas Golden Knights on June 21, 2017.

Everyone knows the format. Teams can protect either seven forwards, three defensemen, and one goalie, or bottom-heavy teams can elect to protect eight total skaters and one goalie.

What will Bobby boy do? Well, fortunately for Anaheim Calling readers and fans of time travel, we have a transcript of a conversation he is going to have between the grittiest of gritters, Kevin “Juice/Loosey Juicy/Juicer” Bieksa discussing his valuable No Movement Clause.

June 20, 2017

2695 E Katella Ave, Anaheim, CA 92806

Office of Bob Murray

Papa Bob (PB): Juicer. Come on in my, man. How’s the $8M I handed out to you going?

Juicy (J): You know what, Bob? It’s going pretty well, but I’m thinking I might need another $8M-$12M over the next two, maybe three years.

PB: Obviously, Juice Man. Honestly, I’m thinking $15M, but you choose what you think is best, and we will get to that soon enough. I hate to be Tough Bob on you veterans. I like to reserve my hard-ass hat for the RFA’s and the Swedes. However, we need to chat about the expansion draft.

J: Yeah, I know what you mean. Sucks that Rakell’s going to Vegas. But hey, kid loves the roulette table. His Elvis impersonation is spot-on as well so he’ll be just fine.

PB: Honestly, we are hoping to keep Rakell. You know after his 40-goal season (fingers crossed so hard they are turning purple) he’s gotten a bit of value so we are thinking about keeping him.

J: Ah, makes sense. I suppose Silf will be okay. Not a big gambler like Ricky, but the bright lights of the city are intoxicating.

PB: That’s a no-go, Juicer. He’s that special two-way forward championship teams need to have just like our 2016-2017 Stanley Cup Champion roster had in June (Bob winks at camera).

Stanley Cup Champion Kevin Bieksa: Hmm. It can’t be The Vatman since Brandon Montour played so well during the end of the season and playoffs that you shipped Sami to INSERT TEAM NAME HERE for INSERT STUD FORWARD HERE, (I love me some Vatanen, but the writing’s on the wall). So, then who?

2013-2014 and 2016-2017 GM of the Year Robert Frederick Murray: Right, right. See, here’s my thinking. We protect Getzy, Pears, Kes, Raks, Silf, INSERT STUD FORWARD HERE, and Cogs. Obviously, protecting Gibby in goal and for the D, I’m thinking Hammer, Cam and…uh, The Truck (Manson).

J: (Juice’s smile slowly fades) But…but what about Juicy…?

PB: Juicy. I love you, man. But I got to protect my own ass. I can’t be giving away all these Northfolk for free. The Swedes and Finns. They are very popular players. Sure, no one drops the mitts like you do, Juice. That doesn’t mean you aren’t on the team. I’m not buying you out. I’m just having you waive the NMC, and I’ll make sure you don’t get picked. I need you, Juice. Who else is going to punch dudes in the face?

J: Boll

PB: Right, Boll. Forgot about him. Well, who’s going to cross check dudes in the back after they score on us.

J: (Begrudgingly) I will.

PB: Right! And who’s going to show the rooks how to leader-grit?

J: (A little happier) I will.

PB: And who’s getting a raise and another NMC after this is all over?

J: (Smiling sheepishly) I will.

PB: (Double finger guns) You’re darn right you will. Now get out of here, champ (tousles Bieksa’s hair). Jim Benning’s on the line. I got to take this.

Forwards:

Ryan Getzlaf

Corey Perry

Ryan Kesler

Rickard Rakell

Jakob Silfverberg

Andrew Cogliano

Top 6 Winger from offseason trade

Defense:

Hampus Lindholm

Cam Fowler

Josh Manson

Goalie:

John Gibson

So, there you have it. The expansion draft plan for the 2016-2017 Stanley Cup Champion Anaheim Ducks. Sami gets moved in the offseason for a forward. Bieksa waives his NMC. Ducks expose Vermette (who’s limited NMC isn’t valid during the expansion draft), Wagner, Despres, Shaw, Stoner, and Boll. The Golden Knights choose Shaw? Maybe Wagner? Despres if he is healthy? Best of luck, Knights.

Poll The Las Vegas Golden Knights select from the Anaheim Ducks... This poll is closed. 13% Chris Wagner (42 votes)

1% Jared Boll (4 votes)

18% Simon Despres (57 votes)

6% Logan Shaw (19 votes)

41% Antoine Vermette (128 votes)

18% None of this will happen you idiot. I’ll tell you in the comments. (56 votes) 306 votes total Vote Now

Agree? Disagree? Let us know your thoughts below.