Dear Amy: The birth of my children has caused my father and me to reconnect after many years of no contact. During that time, he remarried (for the third time) a very nice lady who has been instrumental in getting us back on speaking terms. She always sends a gift for birthdays and Christmas. My wife and I like her.

She likes to refer to herself as “Grandma.” My wife doesn’t mind but it just doesn’t sit well with me. For one thing, I don’t want to confuse our very young kids, and for another, my mother passed away 10 years ago, and I know for a fact if she were here and got wind of this she would be very upset. Mom was a tough, take-no-nonsense fighter and she wouldn’t stand for this.

For my father’s wife to call herself “Grandma” seems disrespectful. It took years to get my dad and me to speak. I don’t want to ruin that by insulting his wife, but I also don’t want to confuse our kids or dishonor my mother’s memory. — Upset Son

Dear Son: I understand your emotional response to this, but if you are going to stake a claim here, you should leave your children out of it. Many children have two “Grandmas” in their lives (I certainly did), and they aren’t confused in the slightest.

Be honest, respectful and transparent. You should say to her, “You are so wonderful to the kids. I’m very grateful. I hope you won’t take offense to this, but it would be easiest on me if the children called you something other than ‘Grandma.’ Honestly it just makes me sad and reminds me that the kids will never know my mom. Please pick something that appeals to you — because I hope they will be addressing you by that name very often and for many years to come.”

Dear Amy: My younger sister is pregnant. Wonderful, right? The only issue is the father might be my fiance’s first cousin. She had unprotected sex with him and her boyfriend the same day.

My parents are overjoyed about the pregnancy. My mom said she doesn’t really care who the father is and doesn’t want to talk about it.

I am very concerned for a number of reasons. Mostly it’s because I feel the potential fathers and their families deserve to know.

I don’t know what to tell my fiance when he asks what is going on — he basically is disgusted with her for being promiscuous.

I can’t talk to my sister because she is very immature and probably will just try to ignore the situation. If her boyfriend found out he would break up with her.

Please help! — Stuck in the Middle Again

Dear Stuck: Obviously you are offended by your sister’s behavior, but it seems that you would rather inform others of the consequences of her promiscuity than deal with her. You are only “stuck in the middle” if you put yourself there. You have to imagine that if/when your fiance’s cousin sees evidence that your sister is pregnant, he will do the math and draw his own conclusions.

The only person you need to communicate with is your sister. Your entire family seems reluctant to guide, mentor (or judge) her. You should recognize that your job is not to police or to inform on her. Your sister is obviously impervious to good judgment. Be honest about the impact on you (“I’m disappointed and embarrassed by your behavior”), but otherwise, strap in — because you’re about to be an aunt!

Dear Amy: Regarding “Anxious,” the 15-year-old worried about going to summer camp: My youngest kept the remnants of her baby blanket in the bottom of her sleeping bag. No one knew it was there. The other daughter took her favorite books every year. I don’t think she ever read them during her time there. “Anxious” should bring something special from home. — Camp Mom

Dear Mom: I know someone who took her blankie remnants to college. Great suggestion.

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