Obama's plan to "spread the wealth" sounds especially good to those who don't have a pot to -- let me rephrase that -- sounds especially good to those who don't have an urn to urinate in.

"Why," the urn-less say, "should some have so much while I have so little?"

Why indeed? Not only should Obama spread the wealth, I also hope he might find a way to "spread the health."

"Why," many ask, "should some be healthy while I am plagued by a litany of infirmities and disease?"

I discussed this with the leading liberal in our neighborhood, Al the Athlete, who is a picture of vitality and envied by everyone.

"Al," I said, "if Obama could find a way -- and surely he can -- would you be willing to spread your health around?"

"How so?" Al asked, sipping carrot juice and jogging in place.

"From now on," I said, "instead of feeling great all the time, would you agree to accept a couple of bad colds a year, some respiratory problems, joint pain, higher cholesterol and maybe even a touch of diabetes?"

"Why would I do that?" Al asked. "I'm healthy because I run six miles a day, don't drink or smoke, lift weights, eat sensibly, go to bed early and do all things in moderation."

"You would do it, Al," I said, getting impatient, "because it just isn't fair some people are healthier than others. We should all be a little bit healthy, and all be a little bit sick."

"Well, if Obama says it's the right thing to do, I will," Al said. "But if we're going to spread the health I'm not busting my butt anymore. No more running, no more weightlifting, no more nothing! Have you got a smoke?"

"Sure, Al," I said, "and how do you take your bourbon -- straight up or on the rocks?"