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So, we have a man boarding an airplane with foreigners who bring him down. Hmm. And note the almost disdainful mention of "this little town" (New York?), which is repeated in another track, "Slow Burn":

Here shall we live in this terrible town

Where the price for our eyes shall squeeze them tight like a fist

Now the town isn't just little, it's also terrible. Deserving of scorn. At this point it's painfully obvious that the album is written from the point of view of a terrorist -- someone for whom the rest of us are "heathens." The track "A Better Future" switches up the perspective to regular people, but it's sung in a wimpy voice, like it's making fun of us:

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Please don't tear this world asunder

Please take back this fear we're under

This "fear" that Mr. Bowie finds so hilarious is all over the album: "Slow Burn" has the phrase "There's fear overhead," another song is called "Afraid," and if we return to the opening track for a moment we'll find this:

In your fear

Of what we have become

Take to the fire

Now we must burn

All that we are

Rise together

Through these clouds

As on wings

Holy. Fucking. Shit. David Bowie wrote an album from the point of view of the terrorists, right before 9/11. After all America has given to the tactless British bastard.

David Bowie

Like this thong I just censored with a goblin from Labyrinth.

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What gets me the most is that Bowie is a well-connected man. There's no reason why he couldn't have picked up a phone, called Stevie Wonder, and recorded a duet about racial harmony in the style of 1982's chart-topping single "Ebony and Ivory." In fact, it could have been a whole album of Ebonies and Ivories. Think about it. Wouldn't that be something? Now that's what I call music.

Maxwell Yezpitelok deeply regrets this article already. Here's his Twitter anyway.

For more from Maxwell, check out The 7 Most Baffling Video Game Adaptations of Everyday Life and The 5 Most Hilariously Misguided Comic Book Adaptations.

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