Have you noticed how much it seems that people watch live events only to Tweet about them? I’m an angry prick who’s bothered by everything, but this one gets me more than most. I mean, it’s all well and good if people wish to indulge their pretentions and believe that their friends give a shit to gaze upon what they had for lunch that day or want to see their fat figures and dopey faces standing in front of the “Welcome To Fabulous Las Vegas” sign. Because, when you get down to it, people can do those things with relative proficiency even if they’ve little photographic experience. Do you think Ansel Adams would take some picture of a steak on a plate that would blow your mind? Don’t be stupid.

The comedy thing, though, is painful. Because THE AVERAGE PERSON IS NOT THAT FUNNY! And all of your friends and followers have to read update after update after update of horrible comedy made even worse by the fact that the aspiring Don Rickles is firing these lines off in real time. I get it. If you have a line that sings like a young Elvis, fine, get it out there. But for the love of all things holy, you’re not as funny as you think you are. So knock it off. (Obviously, this advice doesn’t pertain to me.)