Jeremy Corbyn has announced his decision to retire from Golf after taking it up yesterday and shooting a record breaking 39 under par at the Belfry during his very first game.

The round included a breathtaking six holes-in-one beating the record set in 1994 by the now deceased communist leader of North Korea Kim Jong il, sources in Momentum told us.

The round of Golf was witnessed by seventeen members of Momentum’s executive committee and Andy Burnham, who lost by one shot with 38 under par.

The news comes at a convenient time for Momentum distracting the public from accusations levelled at the organisation in the Telegraph this morning that they are a personality cult.

Momentum members were asked by a journalist from The Telegraph who they would vote for if Mr Corbyn were to stand down as ‘Immortal Great Father’ of the Labour Party. The response was generally;

“Eh? He’s just been elected you imperialist traitorous dog.”

Momentum assure us that while Mr Corbyn is immortal and can control the weather with his mood the movement is categorically NOT a personality cult.

Phew.