In a survey from several San Francisco restaurants, here are the top 100 Pet Peeves of Servers, straight from a random sampling of waiters, waitresses and bartenders. Please “enjoy.”

Patrons who wave money at us (the bartenders) with the assumption that you will go to them first. Everybody has money here, otherwise they wouldn’t have gone out! Manners, manners, manners. (Please) say ‘please’ and ‘thank you.’ Just because you are paying for a meal, that does not allow you to be ill mannered. When your server has brought the check to the table and the guests decide to split the tab there is always one or two people who insist on paying cash and the rest will use their cards. This is not a problem by any means. What IS a problem is that guests don’t seem to understand one major, basic thing. The cash that is presented to the server is applied TOWARDS THE BILL. Then the cards split the remainder. At this point, those who have paid with cards will only tip on what they have had charged to their cards. This results in the server receiving a 10% or less tip which actually winds up costing the server money. We have to tip out our Bussers, runners AND bartenders. Any tip less than 15% actually puts the server in deficit. Please, for the love of god people… tip accordingly if your server has done a good job! Making out … you are adults and in public. I don’t care how attractive you are or how much money you throw around. Seeing you lick someone else’s face is disgusting! The “I could make this $14 dish at home for $4” comment. You don’t understand everything that factors into food costs: décor, serving ware, location, etc. Add in your rent and utilities and time then see if you could sell it for $4. Frat boys, drunk chicks, bachelorettes, and hammered CEO’s: please stop doing cocaine and throwing up in our bathrooms. Go to a house party or your hotel room if you need to get wasted. If you have an allergy, tell me BEFORE you order. Menus never list all of the ingredients used, just the main ones. It’s your health or diet, why would you trust a stranger to guess you may have a restricted diet? Talking on cell phone and expecting servers to patiently wait while you finish your call. Get up go away from table and finish your conversation and I will be glad to take care of your needs. I will even find a plug to charge your battery. Drinking melted ice and calling it a cocktail. I’m sorry, you already drank your cocktail. Now you’re just drinking a memory. Diners who call you to their table and are not ready to order or don’t even have any question about the menu. They just sit there staring at the menu, then when you tell them you’ll be right back or if they need another minute to look at the menu, they say “no”, then still are not ready to order. Not complaining at the appropriate times. ‘The steak was over done, but we ate all of it anyways.’ Let us atone and make it right. Don’t expect it for free, or short your tip because you didn’t give us the opportunity to serve you well. When you tell a walk-in “I am so sorry we are fully booked” and they point at a table 2 feet from you and say “What about that one.” “Oh that one, I’m such a moron I must have missed that one.” That’s what ‘booked’ means; someone else reserved it!! When the server arrives, miraculously having carried 4 or 5 plates by hand to the table, and the guests only comment is “we also ordered a side of rice.” The only last place it could have conceivably possibly arrived to the table with the other dishes at the same time by that server? It would either have to be balanced upon his head, or heating up his pants. An honest question, but have faith. They take their job more seriously then you take one of three meals you’re eating in a day. Customers with dietary restrictions who aren’t informed on what they can or cannot eat. I don’t care where you are from, what accent you have, or how long you’ve been in the States: be a savvy tourist/expat and learn the tipping custom for the country in which you are visiting/staying! It’s simply not classy and it’s a cheap excuse to stiff the server (it becomes really hard to believe that it’s an honest mistake given the regularity with which this happens…). When I am clearly talking to another table and you glance up and see someone trying to get your attention or even worst, they ask you for something while you are helping another table. Also if they don’t interrupt they just stare at you. Crazy as it sounds, servers can feel you staring at them waiting to finish talking to your other table. Relax; we’ll be there in a sec. Diners who are annoyed by the fact that you do not serve what they want (i.e. “why don’t you have Absolut?,” or “why do you only serve wine/beer?”) Snapping. Diners who do not take the time to look at the menu and then ask for items that aren’t even offered. Mission people constantly pointing out that they are not like Marina people, insinuating that they are more knowledgeable and food/bev savvy. Get over it. At least they are comfortable with who they are and don’t need to point out that they are not like Mission people. And for the record, Patron and Grey Goose sell just as well in both neighborhoods. Really thinking you’re making a statement when you order Grey Goose. Sorry everyone — just order SKYY and save some dollars for something that actually tastes different… The over-sharer. The customer who feels compelled to consume the attention of the server or manager with a very long story or too much irrelevant information about themselves. This defect can be found in poor servers as well. If I ask for a credit card to start a tab, do not respond snidely with, “What, you don’t trust me!?” Don’t ask rhetorical questions. No, no I don’t trust you. And guess what, if I have a customer walk out on me without paying, most often its my paycheck that takes the hit. Don’t ask personal questions, I don’t mention the fact that this is the third women I’ve seen you with in the restaurant this week alone, extend us the same courtesy. If you think the waiter/waitress is flirting with you, leave your business card and ask them for a coffee/drink…but don’t be creepy or loiter all night waiting for us to close, that is borderline stalking! Don’t get upset with barbacks or bussers when they tell you that you cannot order from them. Ask them to send over a server or bartender, they’ll be more than happy to do that. They are not trained (and sometimes even punished) for taking your order. Guests who expect free stuff. Especially on their birthday. Sorry, that’s only TGI Fridays. Tables of four women who haven’t seen each other in years. We serve til 1am, and I still won’t be able to turn the table before last call. They ask for salt. When I deliver, they ask for another plate. When I deliver, they ask for another napkin. When I deliver, they ask for an extra glass. When I deliver, they ask for another menu. When I deliver, etc etc etc. When one guest imposes on another nearby guest, be it with perfume, noise, extra bags/coats. AKA, when a guest has no idea they are totally in the way. I have actually heard clientele state that they refuse to tip more than 10% because they believe that the server does not have to pay taxes on the tips that are received. ARE YOU PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR MIND?!? 95% of all tips received are on credit cards. Those credit card numbers are catalogued and the tips MUST be declared. We actually pay an INCREDIBLE amount of taxes on our tips so PLEASE, PLEASE TIP ACCORDINGLY!! Serving tables is not some magical loophole in the tax system. THE GOVERNMENT CAUGHT ON LONG AGO PEOPLE!!!!!!!!! I hate seeing drinks that are brought in from another establishment. Finish your damn Starbucks before you sit down at the table Name dropping. If you’re really that cool, you don’t need to tell me, I already know. Humility, the new black. Negative Yelp reviewers. If a customer has a bad experience, the first course of action should be to notify their server or management at the time. This gives them the opportunity to remedy the situation. With a couple of negative yelp reviews we’ve received, the customer is either uninformed – mistaking the graininess of polenta for powered potatoes, or we are unable to verify the misdeed – a customer who claimed our manager told them we don’t need their business after they were passed up for a table and left after waiting for an hour. People who stand in the service well or those who are just in the way. No matter how many times I pass them and say “Excuse me” they don’t move and more often then not, they get mad at me. Servers say the specials because they are just that SPECIAL. Listen politely and then get back to that wonderful story you were telling. We don’t mean to interrupt, but we have a full section and our job is to make sure all tables are serviced accordingly. The filthy rich people who have the black American Express notoriously tip 10% The over-sampler. Customers that want to sample every wine by the glass before choosing. That is reasonably acceptable at the bar, despite the loss to the restaurant. At a table, it forces the server to spend too much time trying to accommodate one table at the expense of others. When they ask for recommendations and as I’m mid explanation of the 1st recommendation they interrupt me and ask me about a certain dish. If you wanted to know about that dish then just ask me about that dish. When they don’t understand that there isn’t room to add one more person to a table. Diners who ask for water and then do not even drink it. Diners who have no idea who their server was. (Disclaimer, this one came from a female server) I cringe at the sight of a herd of women sitting at my table. Without fail the majority of women don’t tip well and must have the bill broken up precisely by what each person ate/drank. Man up ladies! Break the stereotype! When customers completely modify the menu items. When customers don’t communicate about them needing to leave in an hour and you end up coursing their meal. I hate it when after I check if a table is enjoying their dish and/or beverage they first say they are enjoying it and then tell me after they hated it … are they expecting it to be comped? Talking on a cell phone while ordering. When someone orders wine, you pour it for them to taste, and then they proceed to ignore you for up to a minute! Don’t touch us … I’m a server, not a hired escort get your hand off my ass! And yes, the small of our back is just as offensive. If you are rude, do not expect us to extend you the same service as other customers around you. If you are mean, short, or have a history of not tipping … you are immediately put towards the bottom of my list of things to do (I won’t refuse you service, even though it is well within my rights to, but I will make sure everyone else has everything they need at tables around you before I give you a second glance) If you want to watch a sporting event ‘with’ sound, go to a sports bar.

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