<<if $frog_death is true>>Your frog swells up, flashing red!



A fringe of wires sticks from the maw of your frog like the legs of a swallowed insect - you have one chance to put your background as a disgraced bomb defusal agent to use!



[[Cut red wire|defuse]]



[[Cut blue wire|defuse]]<<else>>Your frog swells up, flashing red!



But nothing happens.



Later, looking out over the city from the roof of the parking structure, <<$name>> lights a cigarette. Exhaling, your frog glances over at you. "Damn good thing the Frog Death settings weren't on."



<<$name>> has a funny look, and seems about to say something else, then thinks better of it. You finish your smoke in silence.



[[Return|FROG]]<<set $bomb_fate = "Your frog swallowed a bomb and survived thanks to your brilliantly calibrated game settings!">><<endif>>

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<h1>Beautiful Fr[[O]]g</h1>by <h2>[[Porpentine|http://slimedaughter.com/]]</h2>



[[NEW FROG|NAMEGEN]]



[[FROG SETTINGS]]



//Frog fact: <<print either("Frogs are exceptional jumpers.","Frogs are found in every continent except Antarctica.","Frog mutations are on the rise.","Frogs can change gender.","Frogs are amazing.","Frogs are creatures to be treasured.","Frogs absorb water through their skin.","Frogs lay thousands of eggs at a time.","Frogs drink water through their skin.","Frogs are solemn creatures but can get a little rambunctious sometimes.")>>//

<<print either("♬","♪","♫")>> <<print either("ribbet~","erk~","ruuugh~","graahh~","bwahhh~","ehk~","uuuuuu~","eeeehm~","brekekeke~")>> <<print either("ribbet~","erk~","ruuugh~","graahh~","bwahhh~","ehk~","uuuuuu~","eeeehm~","brekekeke~")>> <<print either("ribbet~","erk~","ruuugh~","graahh~","bwahhh~","ehk~","uuuuuu~","eeeehm~","brekekeke~")>> <<print either("♬","♪","♫")>>

<<print either("The crowd leans forward attentively.","The crowd listens with hushed breath.","Someone in the crowd coughs but is immediately hushed.","The crowd smiles at this virtuouso improvisation.","The crowd is startled by this unorthodox cadence!","The crowd sways from side to side without even knowing it, such is the skill of this harmonious frog!","The faces of the crowd are inscrutable.")>>



<<if $singing gt 3>>The singing concludes, and the crowd applauds this noble and sensitive frog!



[[Wipe away tears...|FROG][$singing = 0;$life += 1;$sing += 2]]<<else>>[[Listen in blissful rapture|Sings for all][$singing += 1]]<<endif>>

<<if $frog_death is true>>After an appropriate mourning period, you look at your frogs [[achievements and stats|RESULT]].<<else>>You receive a vision of your frog's [[achievements and stats|RESULT]]!



Of course, there is no telling what achievements and stats your frog will one day attain. We must look with hopes and dreams toward the future - but this story is yet to be told.<<endif>>

Frog death is currently <<if $frog_death is true>>true<<else>>false<<endif>>

[[I accept frog death as a natural part of life|FROG SETTINGS][$frog_death = true;]]

[[I would prefer no frogs die|FROG SETTINGS][$frog_death = false;]]



[[Ok|Start]]







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The witch turns your frog into a frog girl! They make out, human tongue entwined several times over by frog tongue. <<$name>> goes off to live with the [[witch|tip]] in an airship over the swamp.



I want to write more about frog girls, they seem very important. Clammy skin, amphibious, shoots tongue at food, big googly eyes, bounces around on webbed feet...basically the perfect lifeform! Until then...cya!



[[WITCH END]]

Before they depart, the witch whispers, "I know this is hard on you. There's a place that can drown your troubles, hidden in the distant land of title screen."



[[Salute|Ya]]

<<$name>> finds a job at <<print either("PIZZA","ANIMAL","HUMAN","BUSINESS","BOOK","MOVIE","CAR")>> <<print either("NEWSPAPER","ZOO","LAWYER","HOSPITAL","RESTAURANT","MALL")>>.



<<$name>> <<print either("hops on top of a desk then hop off","stares wistfully through the window","ribbets forcefully at a customer","falls asleep under a chair","sits on top of a phone")>>.



<<$name>> earns <<set $r = random(1,5)>><<set $dollars += $r>>$<<$r>> Human Dollars.



[[FROG]]

<<if $frog_death is true>>After an appropriate mourning period, you look at your frogs [[achievements and stats|RESULT]].<<else>>You receive a vision of your frog's [[achievements and stats|RESULT]]!



Of course, there is no telling what achievements and stats your frog will one day attain. We must look with hopes and dreams toward the future - but this story is yet to be told.<<endif>>

<<if $vampire is true>>Your frog is an immortal vampire. Congratulations!



[[Feed frog]]<<else>>Your frog is <<$age>> years old. Congratulations!



At this point, your frog



[[Procures a job|JOB]]



[[Enters a leaping contest|CONTEST]]



[[Sings for all]]<<endif>><<set $age += 1>>

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<<set $r = random(0,1)>><<if $r is 1>>You snip the wire and <<replace "hold your breath...">>hold your breath...



The timer stops.



Your frog smooches you! Your old agency welcomes you back, saying, guess you did have the stuff after all!



[[{{{^______^}}}|FROG]]<<set $bomb_fate = "Your frog swallowed a bomb and survived thanks to you!">><<endreplace>><<else>>You snip the wire and <<replace "hold your breath...">>hold your breath...



<<replace "BOOM">>BOOM



The last thing you see before the explosion blasts your guts into the stratosphere is <<$name>> mouthing the words, "I love you".



[[...|RESULT]]<<set $bomb_fate = "Your frog was killed by a bomb!">><<endreplace>><<endreplace>><<endif>>

In a witch's world, conventional metrics of success and failure are immaterial.



[[Return to the fraught and petty cycle of reincarnation|NAMEGEN]]<<silently>><<set $dollars = 0>>

<<set $leap_height = 1>>

<<set $leap_record = 0>>

<<set $age = 1>>

<<set $age_counter = 0>>

<<set $singing = 0>>

<<set $life = 0>>

<<set $evil = 0>>

<<set $vampire = false>>

<<set $bomb_fate = "">><<endsilently>>

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<<set $r = random(0,$leap_height)>> <<if $r gte 5>>Something terrible is happening! Frog is falling!



[[Oh no!][$hop += 2]]<<else>>Leap is at <<$leap_height>> <<if $leap_height lt 2>>foot<<else>>feet<<endif>>!



<<if $leap_height is 1>><<$name>> is beginning the leap!<<endif>><<if $leap_height gt 1>><<$name>> <<print either("is sweating!","is looking panicked!","is looking brave!","is showing off!","is strutting its stuff!","is focusing its energy!","is bracing itself!")>> <<print either("What a moment!","Better give your frog the best support!","This truly promises to be a formidable effort!","A delight to behold!","All eyes are on this frog!","The frog can feel your pride in it!")>><<endif>>



[[Watch|CONTEST][$leap_height += 1]]<<endif>>

Welcome to Frog Speakeasy, a secretive establishment in the shadow of a secluded lilypad.



A frog with a brachial scar keeps an eye on you as you [[saunter in|bar]].

The witch wants to kiss frog!



Does frog kiss?



[[Sully self with quivering flesh of temptress|Ya]]



[[Refrain from this life of unspeakable pleasure!!!|FROG]]

<<if $eat lte 0>>Your frog succeeded at a pacifist run! <<endif>><<if $eat gte 10>>Your frog was a fearsome food eater, widely respected! <<endif>><<if $sing lte 0>>Your frog was a cool, reserved sort. <<endif>><<if $sing gte 10>>Your frog was a miraculous singer of worldwide fame! <<endif>><<if $hop lte 0>>Your frog liked to take it easy 8). <<endif>><<if $hop gte 10>>Your frog was extremely athletic, a stunning champ! <<endif>><<if $dollars gte 10>>Your frog was a fabulously rich frog! $<<$dollars>>!! <<else>>Your frog made $<<$dollars>> in its lifetime. <<endif>><<if $age gte 20>>Your frog helped populate a distant planet. <<endif>><<if $vampire is true>>Your frog was a vampire. <<endif>><<if $evil is 1>>Your frog was a little bit evil. <<endif>><<if $evil is 2>>Your frog was rather evil, and feared in some provinces. <<endif>><<if $evil gte 3>>Your frog was the ultimate evil from which all lesser evils flowed. You feel so proud! <<endif>><<if $bomb_fate neq "">><<print $bomb_fate>><<endif>>



Your frog's highest leap was <<$leap_record>> feet. <<print either("Remarkable!","Astounding!","Tremendous!","Prodigous!")>>



Thank you for FROG



[[Begin a new frog?|NAMEGEN]]

<<silently>><<set $dollars = 0>>

<<set $leap_height = 1>>

<<set $leap_record = 0>>

<<set $age = 1>>

<<set $age_counter = 0>>

<<set $singing = 0>>

<<set $life = 0>>

<<set $evil = 0>>

<<set $vampire = false>>

<<set $bomb_fate = "">><<endsilently>>

Beautiful Frog

All the waterstriders pass you by, since you are a human and they perceive you as some kind of weird building. You curse them and trudge on, until the blur of inebriation plunges your senses into a [[dreamless void|http://slimedaughter.com/games/twine/witchegg]]...

<<if $drunk gt 6>>You get thrown out for rowdiness! Staggering outside the lilypad, you hail a [[waterstrider][$drunk = 0;$activity = ""]].<<else>>Frog Speakeasy, a secretive establishment in the shadow of a secluded lilypad.



<<if $activity is "work">>You <<print either("polish","buff","scrub","calibrate","milk")>> <<print either("the lilypad","a tadpole","a froglet","the abiogenesis pool")>> and get paid 1 fly.<<set $flies += 1>><<endif>><<if $activity is "drink">><<set $flies -= 1>>You <<print either("swaller","chug","glug","quaff","guzzle")>> a <<print either("dewdrop","pondwater","flyjuice","marshdrip","mosquitoblood","roe-splat")>> <<print either("martini","screwdriver"," margarita","cocktail","shot, neat","wine")>>.<<endif>><<if $activity is "gamble">><<set $flies -= 1>>You wager a fly and roll the frog dice<<set $r = random(0,5)>>. <<if $r is 5>>Jackpot! You win 5 flies!<<set $flies += 5>><<endif>><<if $r is 4>>You play conservatively and win 2 flies.<<set $flies += 2>><<endif>><<if $r lt 3>>You lose!<<endif>><<endif>>



<<if $flies lt 1>>Can't afford a drink.<<else>>[[Have a drink|bar][$activity = "drink";$drunk += 1]]<<endif>>

<<if $flies lt 1>>Can't afford to gamble.<<else>>[[Gamble|bar][$activity = "gamble"]]<<endif>>

[[Work|bar][$activity = "work"]]



You have <<$flies>> <<if $flies is 1>>fly<<else>>flies<<endif>>.



[[Leave|Start]]<<endif>>

<<set $frog_death = false>>

<<set $dollars = 0>>

<<set $leap_height = 1>>

<<set $leap_record = 0>>

<<set $age = 1>>

<<set $age_counter = 0>>

<<set $singing = 0>>

<<set $life = 0>>

<<set $evil = 0>>

<<set $vampire = false>>

<<set $bomb_fate = "">>

<<if $age gte 20>>Your frog has lived long enough to see the future!



[[Guh!]]<<else>><<set $r = random(0,100)>><<if $r gt (95 + $life) - $age and $age gte 4>><<if $frog_death is true>><<if $vampire is true>>Sadly, your vampire frog was staked by a hunter frog at the age of <<$age>>. The stake hurtled on its long tongue right into the frozen heart of <<$name>>!<<else>>Sadly, your frog has <<print either("died in a freak parachuting accident","died from dysentery","died from cholera","","been slain in an assassination","died in a wild west showdown","been executed with a guillotine by the will of the people")>> at the age of <<$age>>.<<endif>>



[[Mourn]]<<else>><<set $r = random(0,2)>><<if $r lt 2>>Your frog has resigned in the face of a scandal at the age of <<$age>>.



[[Goodbye frog!|Mourn]]<<endif>><<if $r is 2>>Your frog summons you into its study, where it is looking at a large tome through a magnifying glass. It swivels in its chair to face you, staring solemnly from behind the enormous mahogany desk. "Now see here, P--. We've been through some times, you and I, haven't we?"



You stammer something in return.



"Quite right. But now is the time for our ways to part. You see, I am embarking on the authorship of a very serious novel, an undertaking that I feel must preclude frivolity and other distractions. Do you see what I'm saying, P--?"



It continues without waiting for a reply. "I knew you'd immediately comprehend the spirit of the matter, P--." <<$name>> returns to its studies and after awhile you show yourself out.



Years later you hear <<if $frog_death is false>>of the publication of a great novel by a certain frog, one that weaves together the disparate fragments of the zeitgeist into an absolute javelin of wit and insight. You feel a humble pride in thinking you could in any way contribute to such a project.



[[Goodbye frog!|lit_mourn]]<<else>>of the publication of a great novel by a certain frog, one that weaves together the disparate fragments of the zeitgeist into an absolute javelin of wit and insight. You feel a humble pride in thinking you could in any way contribute to such a project. This pride is tainted by the further news that the author was found dead of unverifiable causes, at the moment the last word was penned.



[[Goodbye frog!|lit_mourn]]<<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<else>><b><<$name>>, a <<$type>> Frog</b>

age <<$age>> <<if $dollars gt 0>> | $<<$dollars>><<endif>>



<<if $action is "hop">><<set $r = random(0,40)>><<if $r is 40>><<set $hop += 1>>Your frog hops into a portal!



[[Gahuk?|http://slimedaughter.com/games/twine/witchegg]]<<set $nommed = "portal">><<else>><<print either("A fine hop!","A spirited hop!","An average hop, but you will do better next time =)","A robust hop!","Wild and passionate hopping!","A composed hop, with much dignity.","A graceful leap! What a bounder!","A rhythmic and sustained hop!","What a hopper!")>><<set $hop += 1>><<endif>><<endif>><<if $action is "sing">><<print either("♬","♪","♫")>> <<print either("ribbet~","erk~","ruuugh~","graahh~","bwahhh~","ehk~","uuuuuu~","eeeehm~","brekekeke~")>> <<if $vampire is true>><<print either("ribbet~","erk~","ruuugh~","graahh~","bwahhh~","ehk~","uuuuuu~","eeeehm~","brekekeke~")>><<else>><<print either("ribbet~","erk~","ru[[u]]ugh~","graahh~","bwahhh~","ehk~","uu[[u]]uuu~","eeeehm~","brekekeke~")>><<endif>> <<print either("ribbet~","erk~","ruuugh~","graahh~","bwahhh~","ehk~","uuuuuu~","eeeehm~","brekekeke~")>> <<print either("♬","♪","♫")>><<set $sing += 1>><<endif>><<if $action is "eat">>Your frog catches a <<set $nommed = either("fly","butterfly","moth","worm","grasshopper","mosquito","dragonfly","spider","minnow","snail","slug","cricket","ant","tiny lizard","locust","mealworm","beetle","bee","wasp","water strider","ladybug","caterpillar","millipede","centipede","grub","cicada","firefly","sawfly","thrip","[[witch]]","[[bomb]]")>><<print $nommed>>!<<set $eat += 1>><<endif>><<set $action = "">>



<<if $nommed is "[[bomb]]" or $nommed is "[[witch]]">><<else>><<if $age_counter gte 3>>How wonderful!



A [[milestone!|Milestone][$age_counter = 0]]<<else>>[[HOP|FROG][$action = "hop";$age += 1]] | [[SING|FROG][$action = "sing";$age += 1]] | [[EAT|FROG][$action = "eat";$age += 1]]<<set $age_counter += 1>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<endif>><<set $nommed = "">>

Your frog's name is <<set $r1 = either("Gugg","Squag","Roop","Bwap","Grib","Honk")>><<set $r2 = either("s","mop","lurp","o","argh","et")>> <<set $name = $r1 + $r2>><<$name>>. They are a <<set $r3 = either("Red","Blue","Green","Pink","Purple","Black","White","Silver","Cyan","Emerald","Ruby","Sapphire","Yellow","Orange","Brown")>><<set $r4 = either("Mottled","Striped","Speckled","Bellied","Banded","Splotched","Spotted")>><<set $r5 = either("Desert","Swamp","River","Pond","Lake","City","Shrub","Forest","Tundra","Meadow","Garden","Tree","Apple","Bog","Rain","Jungle","Savanna","Ditch","Canal")>><<set $type = $r3 + "-" + $r4 + " " + $r5>><<$type>> Frog.



<<print either("Treasure","Cherish","Love","Protect")>> this frog.



[[Begin Frog|FROG]]

Your decadent love of music has attracted unholy forces. <<$name>> was bitten by a vampire!!



[[Buh??|FROG]]<<set $vampire = true>>

<<$name>> achieved <<$leap_height>> feet before plummeting to a rueful defeat. But it's okay! Every leap must end, and your frog did its very best. Both of you should feel nothing but pride!<<if $leap_height gt $leap_record>><<set $leap_record = $leap_height>><<endif>>



[[Return to the ordinary flow of things|FROG]]<<set $leap_height = 1>>

You offer up blood to <<$name>>, knowing you are making a sacrifice for a far superior lifeform. The frog's vampire tongue snakes inside your vein...



<<$name>> <<print either("grows antlers","is surrounded by an aura of infernal flames","grows legs like a tarantula","grows rubies for eyes","grows obsidian skin","summons 10d6 skeleton archers")>>!



[[aaaaa|FROG][$evil += 1;$life += 1]]

Porpentine Charity Heartscape

In this far future, resources are drastically depleted, and the human DNA has become tainted irrevocably. Frogs are being asked to populate distant planets, so that the legacy of Earth may live on.



<<$name>> enters the colony ship. You wave goodbye.<<if $vampire is true>> Little do people know that the stars will be ruled by vampire frogs!<<endif>>



Goodbye frog! [[Goodbye!|RESULT]]