Hey guys, I know it’s been a while. The combination of a series loss more sour than that milk you threw out from last semester and impending college graduations for the DRaT staff has led to a void of content since the Bulls went down. Have no fear, though. I’m gonna talk for a minute about the playoffs and then bring the heat on the much hyped summer plans.

The Wizards really shat on the Bulls. This is doubly frustrating because they decided after Game 1 against Indiana to stop being a good basketball team (they’re down 3-1). Still, Washington was the more talented team against the Bulls and it showed. Joakim Noah’s point-center stretch was cute (some may say adorable) during the regular season, but the rigid game-planning and increasingly difficult execution of the playoffs made his passing a near non-factor. Outside of that, the Bulls struggled to find any consistent offense. Mike Dunleavy had one huge game (not coincidentally the Bulls’ only win) and Taj Gibson was an absolute machine, but that was far from enough. There was more at play in the series, but the Bulls’ poor showing truly comes down to their complete inability to score points. Defense may win championships, but points definitely help win games.

On a brighter note, this is the most hyped offseason in Chicago since 2010 (AKA the Summer of LeBron). On a darker note, we all know how that ended up, with Carlos Boozer inking $75 million that may as well have been lit on fire like a Mereeneese goat. Still, that’s a good as segue as any to my first agenda on the summer wishlist.

YOU BOOZE, YOU LOSE

Carlos Boozer has got to go, but that’s all but assured at this point. Tom Thibodeau stopped trusting Boozer altogether and severely cut his minutes, correctly putting his faith in Taj Gibson. Boozer knows his time is up and was respectful about the opportunity (and money) the team gave him. The real question is how it all plays out. Obviously, the smartest thing to do would be to amnesty the last year on Boozer’s contract, wiping it from the books completely. This would still mean that Jerry Reinsdorf has to pay Boozer the money, but not toward the salary cap. This is the only real option if you assume no GM would willingly trade for Boozer. Of course, Jerry Reinsdorf is notoriously cheap when it comes to the Bulls, so it’s being reported that that they’re seeking a trade partner. I don’t have a problem with this in theory, since trading Boozer would save the team a lot of money and get him off the books. The worst case scenario, however, would be wasting a valuable asset (most likely one of the Bulls’ two 2014 first round picks) in a trade to entice another team to take on Boozer’s contract. If the Bulls do this, it’s a tacit admission that they are too cheap to go all out in building a contender.

Hello, Melo.

It has to be reiterated that this is a long shot, but the Bulls could reallyyyyy use Carmelo Anthony. As such, it needs to be (and presumably is) their number one, two and three priorities to sign Carmelo away from New York. First, a thought experiment for any naysayers. Take the 2013-14 Chicago Bulls and replace all of Boozer’s minutes with Carmelo Anthony. If you don’t think that’s a 55-60 win team, you’re nuts. Not only is Melo possibly underrated on defense because of all the hate he takes, but he couldn’t possibly be worse than Carlos Boozer. He tries hard, hustles, rebounds more and is way better at positioning than the Alaskan Hammer. Now, throw in the fact that he’s the second best scorer in the league after Mr. Reliable (KD). You have a Bulls defense that remains top five, if not top two, and an offense that soars from #28 of 30 to closer to 15. Joakim Noah has made it clear to Melo that Chicago is ripe for him, but not at the cost of Taj Gibson. This is reasonable thinking, as Taj and Jo are the backbone of the entire Chicago defense, especially with Luol Deng gone. However, this detail will make it tricky for Gar Forman and John Paxson to lure Carmelo from New York. If Melo truly cares about winning and winning now, he’ll take a pay cut and leave New York. It might not be for Chicago, but they’re certainly his number one option if he leaves. Still, the late season acquisition of Phil Jackson by the Knicks might provide the perfect excuse for Carmelo to stay put and count the money. This is the key to the Bulls’ summer, without a doubt.

Make Nice with Thibs

Both Tom Thibodeau and Gar Forman have reiterated multiple times that they have a good working relationship and Tom is happy as coach of the Bulls. Still, that doesn’t seem especially true when every premiere team in the league requests permission to interview Thibs for head coach. If Tom was so happy in Chicago (where he’s signed for three more seasons!), why would the Lakers, Knicks and Warriors try to pry him away? Clearly, things aren’t 100% well in the front office, and it’s becoming a problem. The fact that neither Thibs or the Bulls have released a statement essentially telling other teams to fuck off is moderately alarming. Having Thibs and the front office on the same page entering the season is a priority.

Rounding Out the Edges

So much is dependent on Carmelo Anthony that it’s hard to suggest specific things the Bulls need to do past that. If they are successful at signing Melo and somehow retaining Gibson, they will have very little money left to spend on the rest of the roster. In that case, the Bulls would need to look for quality back-ups and bench players that could be had for minimum money. Signing Carmelo also would definitely mean that Nikola Mirotic stays in Madrid for at least one more season. However, if the Bulls are unable to snag Melo, they will have a lot of options in front of them. Instead of splurging on the next biggest name like they did in 2010, the Bulls would then need to put all their efforts into bringing Mirotic over. Mirotic has a skill set that projects to be incredibly useful for the Bulls. The only reason there hasn’t been an insane amount of buzz over him is because of the Melo implications. Mirotic is a prototypical stretch four who has been dominating in Spain for years; his three point shooting would be a breath of fresh air, especially from the power forward position. Bringing Mirotic over and finding another key contributor or two in free agency would still provide the Bulls with one of the best teams in the Eastern Conference, if not the best. It remains to be seen what happens in Miami and Indiana after the season.

To sum things up, the ideal Bulls summer would like something like this: amnesty Boozer, sign Carmelo, keep Taj Gibson, lick Tom Thibodeau’s balls if he so desires, sign contributors for minimum contracts (like Nate Robinson, Marco Belinelli, DJ Augustin, etc.). Also, a healthy Derrick is kind of hugely important, but there’s nothing the Bulls can do about him or his fat contract. If Rose gets injured this summer, it’ll suck. But how confident would you really be that he could play a whole season if he can’t make it through the summer? Playing with Team USA worries some, but Rose’s MVP season followed his stint with Team USA in 2010. This time, Thibs is an assistant with him. Let’s hope The Return 2.0 is more successful.