(I am chatting with my friend, who has a twisted ankle and has been using frozen peas to dull the pain.)

Friend: “Did you know frozen peas are proven to be better than ice packs?”

Me: “How?”

Friend: “They’re cheaper, and mould around your foot more, but it’s generally just their penis.”

Me: *stares at friend*

Friend: *stares back and we both burst into laughter* “That’s not what I meant!” *chokes of laughter* “I meant pea-ness as in awesome-NESS!”