Imagine being a straight white guy. How do you feel about

nail shops? Theres quite a few guys who feel comfortable

in that setting, but theres many who are not. It's alien,

isnt it? There's staff, regulars. Banter. It's a culture,

almost. It smells weird, you probably dont speak the

language, and you have pretty much no control over the

social order. There's gels, there's shellac, theres

acrylics, theres pink and white, and so much acetone and

nail polish you're going to get a contact high. Ladies are

trying to convince you to get your nails done. Being

straight, white, and male puts you pretty much in the

minority. People can talk all kinds of shit about you -

not that you're really worth the time, but you have that

loss of power. I really want you to think about that

feeling. Anyone can make fun of you, and pretty much

everyone else will back them up. Even the men at the

salon! That feeling is super important, because it's a

feeling many women understand walking into gaming cultures

in general, and especially the FGC.

Note, I'm going to use the word "you" a lot. I'm not a

writer, blogger, or anything other than somebody with an

opinion with arguments. The word "you", may not apply at

all to you, the reader. Of course, there's also a pretty

chance that when I say "You", even if you think I'm not

talking about you, I totally am. I'm going to criticize

generalizations a lot, while at the same time using this

all encompassing term; "you". Try to keep your whitey

tighties on.

Women in the fighting game scene are a minority to the

extent you have to understand that when you're shitting on

random girl #9 for not playing and having opinions, you're

affecting all women in the community. How do you know

that's random girl #9? Maybe she's someone who actually

knows what she's talking about, or does well? People apply

these prejudices to others. People take this attitude

because some person in some community somewhere did

something, and there's collateral damage. "Pro hoes" is a

concept that seems to just be, hey a girl had sex. That

almost never happens!!! There's a few specific things I'm

referencing I dont want to dredge up, but if youve

followed how everything's progressed you should have a

couple ideas. I hear all the shit you people say to girls

who dont play. The stuff you say to X girl for Y reason is

the exact same shit I hear. I've been told I'm a fake

gamer looking for male attention. Seriously, that's

completely fucking ridiculous. By kids who were busy being

incubated when I was playing Rush'n'Attack. We've since

ironed it over, but I made a self deprecating joke "I dont

know anything about this game!" when commentating, I dunno

it was like Honda vs Guy or something. I dont fking know

that matchup, and neither do you, LETS BE REAL. When I say

it, ppl make fucking videos about it. I've ironed that

situation out like I said, but the issue is the

preconception where you so readily accept I dont know what

the fuck I'm talking about. It's getting asked repeatedly,

"So whose your boyfriend?". Do you know what it's like to

play a good player - for real, a good player - and being

told the whole morrigan doom fireball thing wasnt going to

work and I should switch to sentinel. This is after Chris

G started his reign of terror, and neither performing nor

demonstrating knowledge and understanding of tech

mattered. What mattered is finding a video of a dude doing

it, then I get patronizingly how to understand it. Do you

know how patronizing dudes are? Over video games? To

women? Who beat them? And you expect them to play?

I've been fortunate enough to grow up with Street Fighter.

It holds a lot of nostalgia. I was also lucky in that I

was very young when I become 'initiated'. I cared about

the franchise and really wanted to succeed and that drove

me through much of the early hazing. I cared about

fighting games enough to get serious with Tekken 5 in 2007

and went through a lot of stuff women picking up the game

will deal with; exclusion, patronizing, threats, misogyny,

sexual harassment, etc. To be honest, I handled myself

pretty well, but I also had certain advantages. For one,

I've been playing video games before a bunch of yall were

born. Most women may not have that advantage. But you

know? What if that was just a random girl. Do you think

they'd stick around after having someone throw a punch at

them, telling them not to speak up(EVEN WHEN YOU BODY THIS

PERSON), or have weird ugly creepy guys trying to set up

three ways between you and their gross ass and "they knew

a girl". What if that wasnt me? What if the women youre

judging have had experiences like that or worse? Does that

justify people acting out? No. You still dont have the

entitlement to judge her in this community. Why do you

want to be another brick in the wall? Do you NOT want

women in the community? If you do, you're going to have to

make concessions. Maybe skip every other usage of the word

bitch, maybe write "get raped" out of your vocabulary. Pro

ho too, fuck that shit. If a girl is sleeping with a

player, well humans are humans surprise surprise. Guess

what? She can pick up a stick. She can ask questions. She

can watch videos, she can learn, but if you've already

labeled her as a non playing fake gamer attention whore...

Or, not even you. Maybe someone else did. SURELY someone

else did. Do you think that's going to make her want to

play? Can you blame her? I see lots of people blaming

women. They want a group that's safe where they can talk

about... shit that they wanna talk about without assholes

telling them theyre wrong? I completely empathize with

that 100%. If they wanna talk about how cute Kobuns are,

whos got the smallest dick, or how to do sword loops or

danmaku, great for everyone. It's not in your face to

insult your sensibilities, and it's also not really about

you.

I understand the appeal of the FGC to the dudes who are

misogynistic and etc etc. Youre a bunch of guys with

extended boyhoods - I've got an extended childhood through

games too, so im not judging.. yet - who are looking for a

safe place to basically let your less savory personality

traits out loose and wild. It's an outlet, insulated from

women, and I believe I see a lot of frustrations. Kind of

a fight club sort of therapy with the stresses in life,

and unfortunately a lot of that manifests itself

misogynistically. I'm not perfect. When I was younger, I

dated a guy and in our nerd culture, I shared his really

toxic attitude towards women. So, actually, I participated

in the misogyny by creating these ridiculous constructions

in my head that judged the worth of a person by a metric

based off things I was particularly good at, and I really

missed a lot of opportunities to make friends and I'm

honestly kind of disgusted with myself. Who cares if

someone's a slut? What did it really take away from my

enjoyment of the game? I was looking for approval,

shamefully I admit, and eventually I came to realize how

horribly wrong I was. Maybe I found someone personally

annoying, but that doesnt justify being a little

machiavelli about it and vilifying other women because in

the context of the game I was a stronger player. It's hard

enough without ripping at each others throats, and I see

plenty of women calling each other bitches and whores and

I dont get it. With grit, determination, and some

semblance of solidarity(not saying you gotta be BFFs) the

image of women in the scene can be reversed, although

there will undoubtably be numerous conflicts along the

way. I'm still making mistakes, I'm human, and I'm sorry

for those in my past I havent done the best by. It's not

hopeless.

The advantage that women have in the community is

visibility and increased access that comes associated with

said visibility. Intrinsically, this is also probably the

biggest single disadvantage, because of shitlord fedoras

and neckbeards looking for any chance they can to

discredit you; and holy shit will they leap on it. Not

even talking about myself, any lady whos been around for a

few years knows what I'm talking about. Dudes dont. They

dont realize what theyre doing half the time, I think? Be

aware.

My newsfeed is full of stuff like this: "THESE BITCHES IN

THE FGC BE LIKE..." "THESE FEMALES SURPRISED WHEN..." ...

Here is a novel and hopefully constructive idea: refocus

the conversation away from portraying women negatively,

and instead encourage those women who are succeeding.

Provide visibility and dont reduce it to 'white

knighting', if at the very least to give women someone

they identify with. Helps very much with a sense of

belonging. Chances are, you have dudes you can relate to!

hooray! Maybe your girlfriend doesnt. Maybe all the

vitriol is a bit too intimidating.

I am just one person. I'm one face, one opinion. I've

spoken with other women in the scene, and there's a lot of

similarities with their experiences with men(Kill all

men). Talk to them; listen. If you're a straight guy,

think about being in that nail shop, and being

uncomfortable, and at the mercy of possibly getting

verbally chopped up for the amusement of patrons and

staff. Dont make women feel like that. And dont be afraid

of nail shops either, I'm just playing on preconceptions

and common fears to illustrate a point about respecting

the women in the scene. Besides, if youre in the FGC you

probably need it. Nerds and neckbeards, ew gross. Tip your

tech.

Women are a bunch of pro hoes and non players looking fr

male attention and approval? Fuck what you heard, you were

lied to. Lets see some man-eaters here. At any time, any

girl could randomly be possessed of the fire and passion

to grind it out, rise above, and regulate the competition.

Could be anyone, you never know what tomorrow is going to

be like. Still, though, guys? It wont be because you

called her a pro ho whore and she fucked EG/EMP/PA/CTRl|

McProguy and it went up on Kappa. I hope in 2014 we see

some ladies rustle some jimmies and we can collectively

dam all the little baby tears, evaporate it, and shake the

salt wherever we walk. I'm not sure who's with me, but I'm

ready to conquer.

signed