It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Season 4, Episode 5

“Mac and Charlie Die: Part 1”

Mac: The only way that my dad is not going to kill us is if he thinks we’re already dead.

Charlie: Oh, great! I was hoping you’d say that. Let’s kill ourselves. Let’s do it!

Mac: No! You didn’t let me finish-

Charlie: It’s no problem, dude. I’m totally on board, okay? I’m gonna grab a knife, I’m gonna jab it into your neck, I’ll yank it out, then your blood’s gonna start going everywhere-

Mac: No, listen-

Charlie: You’ll die in five to ten minutes and then depending on how horrific that look, I’ll probably do it myself too.

Mac: Okay, listen! I was gonna say we fake our own death.

Charlie: Yeah?

Mac: And he thinks we’re dead and leaves us alone.

Charlie: Yeah, right. Either way works. Let’s just pick one before he gets here!

Mac: Let’s pick the second one where we don’t actually die.