Hey everyone! It’s the moment we’ve been waiting for! The transcripts of the annual International Social Justice Committee are finally in, and we can reveal the latest changes in what’s okay to say and what is not. It’s been a really interesting format and we really look forward to seeing how the meta-game will change due to these powerful new rules at our disposal.

REMBEMBER: Make sure to update your chrome plugins and make sure anyone using any of the depreciated phrases are severely and publicly held to account over it, at the very least costing them their job. If you need help or advice on SEO (or Search Engine Optimization) we have web experts on hand to make sure your accusations can get the optimum google ranking.

Onto the list!

OUT – ‘Person of Color’

Grand Justice Rebecca Watson declared that this outmoded phrase is set to join Colored and Negro in the inappropriate bin. Several key speakers voiced concerns that while it accomplished what it set out to do in confusing non-progressives with its vaguely paradoxically racist vibe, it doesn’t quite go far enough, and there was unanimous agreement on this matter.

IN – ‘of nig nog descent’

Nominated house speaker McIntosh called a vote to see the appropriation committee formally accept the term ‘of nig nog descent’ as Politically Correct and for safe use by SJWs. Grand Justice Watson has already sent word to the African American Alliance to ensure that people of nig nog descent are promptly informed that they are no longer offended by the phrase, so feel free to start tweeting it as of 6pm UTC.

OUT – ‘offense’ – this word not only trivializes the sheer horror of those negative feelings we get in our brain, but it also reminds us all of ‘criminal offense’, and there are of course no justifiable negative connotations to be associated with the moral purity of people getting offended.

IN – While ‘brain pain’ was the leading candidate to replace the word ‘offense’ for over 4 hours, intersectional feminist visionary Melody Hensley made a stirring and heartfelt speech that promptly won over the entire room to the term ‘Acute Non-Permanent Mind Trauma’.

OUT – ‘badgering’ – Primarily for being a specist slur portraying badgers as inherently bothersome and irritating creatures, the term ‘badgering’, for example ‘badgering the witness’, was nominated to be struck from the Politically Correct charter.

IN – ‘masculscumming’ – After much debate no one was able to find any potential offense to any important members of society and masculscumming was welcomed into the fold. Usage: ‘Adam Baldwin has been masculscumming anti-gamergaters all week – I hope he dies’

OUT – ‘disagree’ – This one has been coming for a while. A horrible word that no one should have flung at them in all days of all ages, due to the terrible potential for it to cause acute non-permanent mind trauma.

IN – ‘scum’ – This one is pretty straightforward. Usage: “I scum’

OUT – winking, joking, laughing, whispering, nodding, smiling, grinning, dating, sex, flirting, stroking, kissing, fucking, playing, awkward moment, faux pas, desperate lonely attempt to emotionally reach out to another human being, love, desire, hope, happiness.

IN – ‘rape‘ – Yeah, we’ve been ahead of the curve here anyway, this comes as no surprise. But its nice to see it finally make it into the charter officially so everyone is on the same page. Continue to be VERY VERY careful about attributing these words to any non-male, non-cis, nig nog descendant or queerofaggot, as the potential for acute non-permanent mind trauma from a bogus rape accusation is always a very real possibility when dealing with compassionate non-white, non-male people who are in tune with their emotions. In this case, you could genuinely do some lasting damage to their emotional well being and do genuine damage to their life.

You have seen the damage an insulting tweet can do, so just imagine getting your windows smashed in, being disowned by your family, your career, education, reputation and entire life ruined, and have RAPIST spray painted on your door if you are a woman or non-cis person. I repeat: Practice EXTREME caution! Always make sure to check someone’s biological sex, race AND their gender identity first. This is Rule #1 folks!