It’s rare for The Turnip to cover true, intellectual material; but every so often a stroke of pure genius shines a purging light on our world and exposes the darkness that is our own ignorance. This past weekend, such a sacred phenomenon occurred in the perhaps the most unlikely place: the VGBootCamp Twitch chat.

On day 3 of VGBootCamp’s tournament The Script 2, a Twitch user named BigCreely75 entered the chat and began expounding on the one thing missing to fix Joseph “Mango” Marquez’s entire neutral game: up tilt.

“Up tilt is a pretty good move, so I’d just say use that more,” the Twitch rando sent in one message, “If Mango can use uptilt like 1 or 2 times each tournament, I think he’s walking away with trophies.”

Sadly, BigCreely75’s erudition was lost in a sea of LULs and OmegaLULs when an on-stream player self-destructed twice. Despite the dimwitted noise in chat, BigCreely continued to offer his stream of improvements that are sure to revolutionize Mango’s game:

“To be honest Mango just needs to play more like PPMD.”

“PPMD’s neutral is so solid, Mango should study it I think.”

“If Mango wants to bring Falco back to the top, he should hop in a Skype call with PPMD.”

“I think that Falco would make sense for Mango if he used lasers like PPMD did.”

[17 other suggestions from BigCreely75 omitted from this article.]

BigCreely75 did not seem to be having a conversation with any other users specifically, and what’s even more surprising is that Mango was not even at The Script 2.

Investigation by the Turnip’s research analysts found that BigCreely75 has been following VGBootCamp for just over two weeks. It’s unknown how an amateur Melee player could make such incredible recommendations, and our team continues efforts to contact this prodigy to find out.

Have you ever wondered how you could become a pro Smash player yourself? Well, head over to The Turnip’s Twitter, where we have no idea either. Maybe following us would help? idk dude, we just write!

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