Hey, how bout that ride in? I guess that’s why they call it the Weekender…

It’s funny. People think writing a post following a rough loss must be somehow brutal for me. Just to clear it up if this in fact is my last season of covering the team in this manner, writing these posts isn’t hard.

I’d much prefer to write after a win, but in the end, as a Trojan, I’ve learned how to win and not flip out after a loss. When we lose, it becomes so painfully obvious how few of our opponents know how to win. Many of them act like a home schooled kid his first night getting drunk and seeing a naked girl. Cue the mental pictures.

What I typically see is a sea of people who confuse my blog for ESPN jump to the comments section after the fact and talk a lot of shit. I am all for shit talking, but there is nothing more pathetic in sports than holding your tongue until you know you have won and then foaming at the mouth.

If that was my life strategy, I wouldn’t have worked at great agencies or landed a beautiful wife. Someone else would have claimed the job or my wife because history favors those who speak up. It’s okay to be wrong. Arrogance in victory and arrogance in defeat. Arrogance by my definition, which could mean anything from teasing another school for the benefit of a more fired-up game experience or taking a loss in stride. Nothing is getting to me. It’s not the oncology unit. I don’t trip out.

Let’s get this straight. I put my ass out there every week and predict a USC win. Statistically, USC won’t win every game. I put myself out there because I don’t care what happens, I love USC. It doesn’t matter what you think, that’s the charm (or thing you hate) about this blog in the fall. It’s only for the indoctrinated or those that can take a joke.

A loss to Texas in the Rose Bowl, an anomaly of 4 straight losses to Stanford, hell, a loss to UCLA that costs us a spot in the title game… These things don’t matter half as much as the fact that come Thursday, I am going to be making fun of Cal.

Speaking of this game specifically, hats off to Stanford. It needed to be a drag race and for a variety of reasons, it became a trench war. They say styles make fights and we got forced to fighting the way The Farm wanted to.

They were successful in keeping the game close in a first half where they basically had one play which resulted in the lion’s share of their offense. They never abandoned the run, made some clutch plays in space and despite finding new ways to miss FGs, they won by a touchdown.

It was obvious the lack of Khaled Holmes murdered us. Cyrus Hobbi has a long way to go and I believe he’ll get there. Stanford is not short on D-Line and LB talent and they exploited the redshirt freshman all day.

I think with our captain on the line in there, Barkley is on his ass less and we probably score more. But we didn’t, and that’s that.

I’m also sure that having a kicker capable of a FG attempt would have helped as well, but it’s not the Bearfighter’s style to sit here and complain. We lost, I am taking my lumps and ready for next week.

I always used to say we play for Rose Bowls and anything else is gravy. We lost to ASU last year way worse than this and we’d have gotten a chance to play for a Rose Bowl berth without sanctions. And we lost TWICE before the end of the year. Plenty to play for. Stanford needs to worry about winning the North. We need to focus on winning the South. That’s that.

Now, as I mentioned, way way after the fact, some haters flooded my comments section and I felt like I best address them before I go back to being handsome.

Let’s be clear, I’m taking nothing away from Coach Shaw or the team. They won that game. I’d love another shot at them with a healthy center. Hell, without a healthy center. I’d love another round. Maybe we’ll get it, but for real, good on you Cardinal. Big win for the agency.

That said…

After going through the comments, I am going to make an assumption based on Stanford’s “fans”, or the townies who flooded the board. I can only assume they aren’t students, because I’ve always held Stanford in high regard academically. These posters felt a bit like those kids you know who grew up in Southern California but didn’t get into UCLA, but still root for the team. I don’t bother arguing sports with them, certainly not a rivalry they don’t belong to.

So, in no particular order, let me address the bulk of the comments and know that once I am done, I’m done with you unless we meet in the Pac 12 title game. My focus now is on Cal.

How on earth can you be proud of a stadium that was cut by like 25,000 seats so it didn’t always look empty. That’s like liposuction for school spirit. Don’t tell me you love your football team when the biggest athletic moneymaker in collegiate sports is football and you are GETTING RID of seats. And before someone mentions the “waning” attendance during sanctions, our waning attendance would have filled up your old stadium. The Raider fans just weren’t showing up.

First and foremost. There’s a word for people who don’t put their asses on the line until after the fact. Since that word is inappropriate I am going to sub in “cowards”. Farm, look. I dig you supporting your team, but at least be like the Ducks and back it up before the game. I got one tweet from someone talking smack before the game (you know who you are) and I said I’ll be here writing this if he was willing to read it in a loss. Here I am. That guy was cool.

The rest of you that flooded my site AFTER winning without so much as a peep before, you are fairweather fans, the antithesis of what this blog is about and I am responding to you in hopes you understand and do your school proud like your actual football team did.

I always say act like you been there before and well, it boggles the mind that after so much recent success in this “rivalry” that you still haven’t learned how to win.

To that point. For everyone calling out my predictions, bear in mind two weeks ago I predicted USC would win over Hawaii who would score “double rainbow”. I’m not ESPN, I am a USC fan blog (and only during USC football season). Let’s keep it real. Since I started doing coverage, I’ve predicted USC would win every game. That won’t change. I’m not a news source. I’m a source for arrogance. If you don’t see ESPN.COM at the top of the page, realize the point of my blog is to have fun with this. You guys give back points off the board to my readers by looking so silly on here.

To those talking about how Stanford’s program has overtaken ours now… Guys. UCLA won 8 games in a row at one point. I don’t think they are confused who wears the pants. Dominate us for a couple decades and then make the argument. As it stands, the lifetime series is at 59-28-3 (not sure if that counts Saturday). For reference, you will need to win 20 more in a row to knot this up. Many of you will be dead by then even if that happened. It’s not ancient history. I don’t even remember the wins we had over you when I was in school and I am not even 30 years old yet. They weren’t important games. By all means enjoy your success, but realize you got a long way to go before we start comparing programs unless we’re talking the last half decade, which I concede the obvious. You’ve won the football games. Derp.

The new female Tree is creepier than the non-female tree. Your mascot got a sex change and no one said anything. I just want facts. Non sequitur, I know. I just feel like we’re being lied to.

When you say things like “you lost to a bunch of nerds”, you are making fun of yourselves. Winners don’t do that.

I was asked if yesterday was “the right time” to rush the field. No. It still was not. Ranked teams shouldn’t rush the field at home against ranked teams. It makes you look weak. I wouldn’t rush the field unless the bleachers were on fire. It’s cute to rush the field if you are Appalachian State and you knock Michigan off. If you are winning for the fourth time in a row, it’s not a big enough upset to explain the fandemonium. It’s like celebrating with a touchdown dance after you hook up with your wife. You’ve been getting the best of us lately. It feels weird you get so excited and shocked you rush the field.

Coach Shaw’s shirt was an embarrassment to clothing. It reminded me of the shirts the asshole clique wore in Mean Girls. Like, the shirts that had “Princess” written in shiny fabric on them. Hell of a coach, dressed like a teenage girl. I feel like Tiger Woods would lend him a reasonable polo to wear.

Many of the posters commented after the game and in the morning. This means they weren’t partying, were reading my blog at a party (get off my jock) or woke up not hung over from partying. All of that is fine, except you rushed the field. If the win was so unexpected and bat-shit radical that you rushed the fucking field, you should have been getting down with coeds, running naked through the hills of Palo Alto and drunk dialing everyone. Otherwise, don’t rush the field. It’s one or the other.

Either way, if I wasn’t reading my comments last night, why on Earth were you on my site? It just made me feel bad for you. Instagram was filled with bummed out Trojans, sure, but two hours later they were hammered at bars in SF with attractive people. Sports are a metaphor for life. When life gives us lemons, we make lemonade and pour vodka in it. When life hands you lemons, you rush the field.

Let me make it clear. We’re never going away. You hate us for the arrogance that wins against us do not change our opinion. That is correct. This did nothing. We’ve lost plenty of “heartbreakers”, but what of it? What makes us so universally disliked by opposing fans is that our backs never, ever break. Sanctions? Whatever. Tough loss, whatever. We are the epitome of SoCal. Everything you hate about us we love about us.

I am rooting for us both to win out so we can punch you in the face in the Pac 12 Championship. How can I say that after just losing to you? Because I went to USC, it’s not about logic, it’s about the fact that no matter what our minds never get changed.

It may sound Tea Party to you, it may sound like drinking the Kool-Aid… You’re right. It’s Tea flavored Kool-Aid, we spiked it and we’re making fun of you for thinking a win or string of wins means anything beyond us saying “nice game, can’t wait to beat you next time”. Until you create a delta of 20+ wins on us, that won’t change (and probably won’t even if you did). Our superpower is not giving a fuck.

We’re psychopaths. I thought you read the memo. We’re named the Trojans because of a game we lost, a game where we fought so hard they likened us to the mythological Trojans who never said die, EVEN WHEN THEY ALL DIED. Is this starting to make sense? You will never get through to us. If you are even reading this, we just won. This is a USC blog, why are you even here?

If you are a Trojan reading this… Hey, what’s up. You’re good looking.

See you Thursday for the AGP for Cal. If you are a Farm reader and still here (what is wrong with you, call a friend already), good luck. Here’s hoping you win out and we do. We owe you a punch in the face and believe me, we’ll wait forever to do it whether that makes sense to you or not. It’s cool, we don’t get why you rush the field so much.

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