Me: “Thanks for calling [Credit Card Company]. My name is [My Name]. Can I get your first and last name, please?”

Caller: “I wanted to talk to the computer.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, the reason you got me is because [Credit Card Company] wants to take care of you personally and let you know about–”

Caller: “I want to talk to the computer, not a person! I don’t like talking to people.”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I’ve already got your account info up on the screen. I can give you the same info the computer lady can.”

Caller: “No! I want to talk to the computer! I don’t want to talk to a d*** agent! I wanted to get my balance from the computer!”

Me: “Ma’am, since I’ve got it up already, would you like me to just give you the info so you don’t have to call back? You’d still get an agent if you did.”

Caller: “NO! I WANT TO TALK TO THE COMPUTER!” *click*