One of the Gunmen

My name is Zach Johnston. I am a student at Columbine High school in Jefferson County Colorado. It is on this site that I will try to explain from my personal point of view what happened to my school on April 20, 1999. Sorry if the grammEr is below average, I really do not care. I spent about 5 minutes deciding what I would write here, then I just let it all out. I will express my views as well as feelings about this seemingly unavoidable tragedy. The things I say are what I think or believe what happened. Not actually what happened. I will only place bits and pieces of what I know on this site

I woke up at 6:10 a.m. on April 20, 1999. I had a fairly bad cold and a soar throat. I didnít feel like going to school but since my friend was picking me up I didnít want to make her drive for nothing. She arrived at my house and we proceeded to goto school at Columbine Senior High. Since April 20 is 4:20, it was a day that many students were supposed to love and enjoy for various reasons. Heh. Various people told me "Happy 4:20 Zach!" and "its 4:20 and I have an important date with you know who." The day seemed pretty normal. I think I faired well on my math test and we watched Cyrano De Bergerac in World Studies. After math I rushed to my locker to meet a friend so we could go out for lunch. The time was precisely 11:00 and we headed to my house because I didnít feel so well and wanted to take some Tylenol. At about 11:30 we headed back for school. We were headed north on Pierce when suddenly we saw a police cruiser in the middle of the road beside a cargo van and a little Mazda. I figured "oh well another accident that could have been prevented and everyone is over reacting." I had no idea how wrong I was. I told the person driving to head in the Woodmar neighborhood so we could get to school using my "stealth" route. We were then passed by a bunch of kids in a White Cherokee who were honking and waving their arms at us. I thought to myself "Crap they wanna beat me up and we cant get away because her car is too slow" Then they honked at everyone else so I felt a lot better. I then told her to try a different way to school. We headed north on Wadsworth then turned and went on Bowles where we eventually got to piece the street my school is one. This is where I knew something was very wrong.

Piece was blocked off from this side of school as well. As we waited in a crowded intersection as cops desperately tried to guide traffic, I saw a horde of my fellow students running towards us. I yelled at a Girl I knew and asked her what happened. She said "Some guys in black charged into school and just shot everyone!!!" I saw hundreds of parents who somehow found out about all this. They were running every which way trying to find their sons and daughters. It was a terribly disturbing sight. I remember specifically one little girl from my choir class crying about how she saw her friend get shot. My first thought was to get home as quickly as possible to call my Mom since I knew she would find out about all this before I would, so I did just that. We did a U turn and headed back to my house. I live about 1 mile from the school and counted 35 police cars passing us as we drove. Ambulances and police cars barging over medians motorcycle cops weaving through opposite traffic almost killing themselves. Its actually quite amazing that police units can do such wide fishtails and keep control. By the time I got home and called my mom to tell her I was okay, the thought of what was happening hadnít quite sinked in yet.

My friend called her mom and aunt and stuff. When she got off the phone, she told me her brother and cousin were still in the school somewhere. Her brother later called and said he got out but her cousin was still inside.

I ran into the family room and turned on the TV. Every station was covering the situation at my school. Several stations had Ariel shots that amazed me. Of course the media blurted out a bunch of crap about the situation that they knew nothing of, and basically made stuff up as they went along. I never knew how much the media is full of crap about things until they talk about stuff I know about personally.

I live on top of a huge hill overlooking the entire Denver Metro Area and could see the school in the distance. I counted 5 helicopters and 2 planes circling the premises. I could also see Clement park where tons of parents desperately searched to find their children. The southwest side is the part of the school I could view. The Library and Cafeteria are both on this side. Apparently this is where all the action was taking place. The entire southwest side of the school is a huge glass window. Several windows were shattered. This is basically all I could see from here.

The TV said that there were still 900 some odd students left in the school with the gunmen. This is about half the population of the student body. While I watched and wondered for myself what was happening, I knew in my heart who was responsible for this massacre. About a month ago my friends Ö

and I went out to lunch. After lunch we had the same World History class so we would talk together. We would often pass these 2 kids who wore trench coats. Everyone referred to them as the "Trench Coat Mafia". My friend Cale referred to them as the "RammStein Boyz". Whatever you wanted to call them, you could tell they were different. Well, one day, Clae snarled a remark about Rammstein under his breath as we passed these 2 guys. The short one who was named Eric Harris confronted my friend about it. He said "Everyday you pass me and make fun of me saying Rammstien sucks. Why do you do this crap asshole? What did I do to you?" My friend replied "Oh man your so cool, youíre my idol!" Then Ericís friend Dylan approached us seeming to back up his friend. I really didnít want to get involved in a fight even though I knew these guys wouldnít stand a chance. I was afraid of things they might do afterwards. Eric was a short clean cut looking kid and Dylan was a very tall skinny guy with messed up hair. He always wore the trench coat, a hat and dark sunglasses. The bell rang and they left and we went into class. That was the end of the confrontation.

When I got my facts straight and figured out that 2 gunmen entered the school and killed several people I knew, I figured the Trench Coat Mafia was responsible. Many helpless crying people said they recognized them as this group. I was shocked to understand that my hunch was correct. They showed the pictures of Eric Harris and Dylan on TV. Once I saw their pictures, I knew they had no demands or intent to leave Columbine High school alive.

This is the way I think it happened. I have heard several stories from the media, friends, and others, but put this one together myselfÖ

Eric and Dylan didnít go to school on Tuesday April 20, 1999. They did attend bowling class early in the morning though. Instead they entered the student parking lot at 11:00. Eric in his black prelude, and Dylan in his black BMW 325 that the media is trying to say makes him a rich, privileged kid. Itís a crappy early 80s one and if you know what I mean about early Beemers, they do suck. They must have taken a few minutes to booby trap their cars and a few other cars as well. Once they were fully suited up they open fire on kids heading out in the parking lot that were going to lunch. Some sources say they had body armor strapped to themselves. They threw bombs outside and one even blew up his car. After shooting outside they charged into the Cafeteria where they must have sprayed bullets everywhere. After shooting in the Cafeteria, they ran up the stairs, shot people in the Oh-so-familiar halls of Columbine High School, then entered the Library. Of course, they threw bombs all over the place inside as well. Nobody knows as of yet how long they were in the Library. Some kids go there during their lunch hour to study or get work done. My guess is about 30 kids were in the library as usual that day. They charged into the Library, shot some people then stopped. I heard stories of kids who escaped the library. They said that the 2 gunmen told all the jocks to stand up because "they are dead!" the gunmen also claim to hate minorities as well, I think that is bullshit. I Think they wanted to kill everyone they could. I heard a story from one girl who said that one of them pulled out a knife and said "I have always wanted to kill someone with a knife." Then he put it away for some reason. I have a feeling it was Eric who said this. I think they shot people hiding under tables execution style. People say they would laugh after they killed someone. I guess when they figured they had enough "fun", they took their own lives. I donít know whether they were in the library for 5 minutes or 5 hours. After they shot themselves, a few survivors in the library ran out.

I guess as the gunmen were entering the school, people could hear the gunshots and explosions. Take my word for it, my school is huge, so autorities didnít know where to go. I guess Mr. Sanders was one of several teachers who was trying to guide students out of the school or at least to a secure area within. He was unfortunately shot, but managed to stagger to a nearby Science room where one of my friends cousin was hiding. He walked in bloody and dying where he passed out, fell down and broke his jaw. My friend's cousin tried to keep his air passage open for some amount of time. They say he sat up but fell down again a few times. A few hours passed, and the SWAT team barged into the room and cleared everyone out. They said that Mr. Sanders had to be left there since he was unable to be kept conscious. It was shortly after this time that I believe Mr. Sanders, my keyboarding teacher, died. He was also a girls Basketball coach and a business teacher.

Across the hall from the science room, there was the Choir room, where 60 students stayed for 3 hours. Some moved ceiling tiles to get fresh air in. A SWAT team eventually got them out as well.

A guy named Nick, was somewhere in the school. He got into the ceiling and crawled to try to get out. The ceiling gave in and he fell 20 ft. He was luckily toward the front of the school, far opposite from where Eric and Dylan were, so he was taken to safety.

I remember seeing one student at a window. Obviously shot several times. It appeared that he was trying to jump out the 2nd story library window and end his pain. It was the most disturbing and moving sight I have ever witnessed in my life. What the incredibly ignorant news crew cameramen werenít seeing was a fire truck just below the window that the boy was aiming for. SWAT members grabbed him and carried him off to safety. As he was taken from the window, his blood drenched sock touched the wall and smeared all over. I felt immense sadness after seeing this particular scene. The first version I saw was this kid trying to jump and kill himself, I later saw a better angle that showed the boy being pulled from the window. I guess the retard news crew cut off the scene right before the hands of the SWAT members came into view. I learned later that His name is Patrick, a kid I have known since 2nd grade. He once made fun of my for buying Rebok Pumps in 3rd grade because they were 5 sizes too big:)

During the entire siege, SWAT teams entered the school at various places and rushed to get my classmates out. For all they knew, they were rushing into the school with guns drawn and the killers could be anywhere. But, I knew that these 2 gunmen werenít silly kids influenced by games, and tv. They were trained and had planned out this entire day. Brooks, a student I had a choir class with explained how he knew people involved in this "Trench Coat Mafia". At the time he spoke to me about them, it had nothing to do with anything. It was just a random conversation that took place several months ago. He told news crews that every time somebody messed with them or teased them, they would go home and plan this thing out. It wasnít something they did after a good day at school according to Brooks, who had no part in it.

About a year ago, I worked at a movie theatre with one of the Trench Coat Mafia kids. I wont list his name since I donít think he had anything to do with this. He would constantly complain about rich jocks and other stuff that is common to hear. I figured to myself "just an angry kid venting some anger." Then one night he came into work and told me he had been chased in his car by so and so. Well, turns out so and so were athletes from my school who donít seem to have anything better do to than torment this dude.

I can see why the fellow I worked with hated Columbine High School. I Can safely say that I donít think he took part in the Terror that was created a few days ago. I donít think he was a corrupt kid either. I think that Eric and Dylan were the only ones involved that I knew about. Although now police are saying they found 30 explosive devices in backpacks, under bodies, and inside lockers, so they probably were not in it alone. These devices had been planted before the gunmen entered the school.

If other members of this "Trench Coat Mafia" were treated like my past co-worker, then this is their only "motive" for doing what they did a few days ago. They were 2 outcast kids that were constantly made fun of, and they finally snapped. What they were thinking before they performed this horror will never be conceivable to anyone. It had nothing to do with Doom or Quake, TV or movies, it is all pain inside their heads that they couldnít deal with. Some blame parents, other students, the NRA, or whatever. No! They werenít man enough to deal with their misfortunes, so they took the easy way out.

During the disaster at my school The names of the dead where withheld for various reasons. Having an idea who was in that library was the worst feeling I have ever had to deal with. A friend told me that Patrick had been shot. He was alive and taken to the hospital. Another person told me that Rachel Scott was dead. I remember Rachel being a very warm, caring, a funny person. She was an actor, a singer, and had a long future ahead of her. It was all brought to a halt. I remember when we were sophmores when we had to disect these baby pig featus's. She was really scared and shaking when they put the pig down in the disection tray, So I tied 2 strings to the pigs arms and made it dance around and sing songs. She thought it was really funny and soon started cutting this poor dead pig apart in all kinds of strange ways. She was also a very talented singer. She was an alto in my choir class when we were sophmores. I heard that the gunmen didnt actually go through the front of the cafateria, but instead walked around and up the stairs where the media showed footage of all the kinds running out of the school. I believe that the gunmen entered the upper doors where Rachel and a boy name Richard were. Richard was quickly gunned down, but didn't die. Richard says that he heard the gunmen ask Rachel if she believed in god, she said "yes" and they soon ended her life. Rachel was a victim of a pair of outcasts pouring out their poison on innocent lives. I now know that if Rachel can perish, anyone can perish and there is nothing we can do about it.

I found tremendous torment when I remembered that a girl named Cassie was in the library at this time for sure. I was absolutely sure she was in the library when the gunmen enteredÖ.

When I was a sophomore, I noticed a new girl in class. Apparently her name was Cassie and she was very pretty and quite. At the time I didnít take much notice to her since my attention was usually drawn to Ms. Haggard who always caught me mouthing off or doing something I shouldnít have been doing. Then we were given an assignment where you had to pick a partner and write about something I cannot remember. I was absent when we chose partners, so I wrote about how I loved snowboarding. Each group of 2 had to stand up and read their paper. I read mine and as usual was yelled at by Ms. Haggard for screwing around and not writing about the correct topic. Then Cassie stood up and read her paper alone because she didnít have a partner. It was about how she was new in Columbine High School and she tried to explain how unfair it was to have to do a partner assignment when you donít know anybody. She read her paper with great confidence and didnít care what anyone thought. After she sat down, some students grumbled and whispered negative comments. Two of my friends even took part in this sickening display, but not I. There was something about this girl that wrote this paper that caused me to stay quite. I wanted to approach her and talk to her everyday of that semester after she read that paper, but I never did. I have never had a problem going up and talking to someone in my entire life until she came along. Weeks past, then months, then the semester ended.

Years past, and I still see Cassie in the hall periodically. Then a few months ago A girl i knew who is friends with Cassie told me I should talk to her because she said Cassie is really nice and an over all cool person. I still had this fear of talking to her. I didnít understand it. I could probably go up to my principal and recite every bad word I knew, but I couldnít even say "Hi!" to this girl. Well, one day, and I think somebody planned this, I was after school in the photo room making up work, when she walked in. I figured "what the heck?" and went over and talked to her. I suppose she somehow knew that I liked her. She turned out to be one of, if not, the coolest person I have ever spoken with. I could tell she was nervous because she probably thought I was some sort of freak for telling her I remember a paper she cant even remember writing. I didnít get any work done that day, but I didnít care. After time, she became more open and we talked more. After this, I didnít really know where to go. I would greet her in the hall for the last time a few minutes before she entered the library on April 20th, 1999.

I have terrible regrets dealing with Cassie in particular. I have no idea and will probably never know how long she was held in that library until either Eric or Dylan pulled the trigger without even thinking twice. One survivor from the library told me that when the gunmen got to her and held a gun to her head, they asked her is she believed in god. She stood up quickly and screamed "YES I BELIEVE IN JESUS!" and they killed her. She may have been one of the hostages destined to die by the hand of one of the gunmen. I felt truly horrible when her name and picture flashed on my screen on April 21st, 1999. I hoped beyond belief that I would have become close friends with her before that day. Now this is impossible. I cannot explain, I was uncontrollably drawn to her since she read that essay. One thing that bothers me is the way that people think more highly of her because she was a dedicated Christian. You see, various people who knew Cassie made reference of how she used to be into witchcraft and ďinto the dark side of thingsĒ whatever that means. Do you know what this means in reality? This means that if Cassie had not been religious, these same people would feel less pain when she died. I am sorry if you do not agree with me on this. I thought the world of Cassie, religious or not. I never knew Cassie as well as I would have liked. I am not a member of her church group, I know nobody in her family, but I do know one thing that many have overlooked. I know that Cassie never judged a person by what they were, she judged them according to who they were. The girl who died for her faith will be remembered so by many, but I will remember Cassie as a person that befriended people for who they are, not what they are or what they belive in. I am a true example of this. She didnít think any less of me when I told her I was not religious. If anyone who reads this knew Cassie and thinks less of me for what I have just said, she was different from you, and you will never understand.

Isaiah was a senior who I never knew at all. He seemed to be a cool guy. He was black and an athlete, so if he was in that library, there Is no doubt that the gunmen would target him. He probably would have had a long life to live. His dad kept his composure while talking about Isaiah on the TV. Hard to imagine.

Mark is a boy that I have known since Kindergarten. He has a twin brother named Mike. Mark was born with a defect in his leg and arm. He couldnít run at all, but he could walk, and he could only use one of his hands. We was in that library and was shot 2 times in the head and 2 times in the neck. He somehow survived. I can only imagine that he will be even more disabled the rest of his life. This sickens me. He sat In front of me in choir the day he was shot, but by the time high school came around, I was no longer friends with him. I remember how he had dreams of being a racecar driver when he grew up. I wonder if he still had this hope when he was in that library.

There were countless other victims both injured and killed by Eric and Dylan 2 days ago. I am the sort of person who strives to be in control. Total control is my life goal. Watching the TV that day seeing what the Gunmen had been doing, I felt helpless. It is the first time in my adult life that I have ever felt that there was nothing I could do. My dad was specifically worried that I would have been in school that day and probably tried something stupid to stop/kill The gunmen. I would have to agree with him on this one. I look back at the time Eric and Dylan approached me and my friends, and I wish I would have had someway of knowing that they would do something like this. I probably would have taken personal action to make sure it didnít happen.

The thought of friends like Mark, Rachel, and Cassie, being victims of this crime haunts me constantly. People say "the library and had the gun pointed close to me? But one thing sticks in my mind more than anything...As we were driving out of the parking lot at school to go to lunch, I saw Dylan and his old 325i. He was entering the school like nothing was going to happen. Then I made eye contact with him for a split second, and he looked at me with no emotion. I truly had no idea he was soon going to perform the most horrible school massacre in history.