February 12, 2016

All right, friends, how is everybody?

Thanks for stopping by again.

And, if this is your first time here: welcome…

Today we’re going to be discussing BaDoink’s latest virtual effort: Heart Shaped Ass, starring Ms. Zoe Doll.

And, if you’re familiar with this blog, you know there are three main factors that go into these reviews:



1. The woman: does she make a fella get that sort of stupid inner-glow: like the Simpson’s opening where Homer swallows the radioactive thing. . The: does she make a fella get that sort of stupid inner-glow: like the Simpson’s opening where Homer swallows thething. Okay, I know I’m not funny! 2. The scaling: do things look correct and proportional? Is it immersive? Or is the woman’s head the size of her heart-shaped ass while her torso’s the size of her round-shaped head? Yes, that joke missed again: I realize that! 3. Positioning: of the woman and cameras. Are there enough close-ups? Close-ups matter…. a lot: their importance can’t be overstated. If you look at any VR porn discussion, people are frequently complaining about a close-up shortage…



Okay, so… speaking of synopses, let’s see how the Badoink boys describe their latest effort :



VR porn also celebrates love, and when you’re dating a sexy Spanish redhead like Zoe Doll, Valentine’s Day is definitely special. She loves her teddy bear and her heart-shaped lollipop, but the real present unwrapping comes when Zoe gets out of her dress and rocks that big booty back and forth on your dick. Zoe Doll's VR Synopsis by BaDoink VR

All right, this sounds fine because it provides a context without a plot. I like that! I’ve discussed this elsewhere.

And, hey… with Valentine’s Day around the corner, I know my readers might like imagining they had a very special gal (let’s face it, the slender-beauty Zoe ain’t gonna be your Valentine) to force-feed sugary shit…

So, let’s do this thing…

What do we really know about Ms. Doll?



My research has revealed the following: Chica Lapiedra….muñequita porno. She really does have a nice ass. She also has a really pretty face. This is her Twitter. has revealed the following:

Hang on, folks… I’ve got some breaking news. Wolf Blitzer just announced … I mean… I just noticed that the BaDoink boys posted an interesting statement at Unsafe for Work Oculus.

I’m going to post BaDoink’s entire statement. Then, I’ll give my insightful analsyis.

“Hi everybody, we just want to say that we’ve heard all of your feedback, and we’ve taken a lot of those strong points into careful consideration. It’s our focus and responsibility to bring you the best content VR porn has to offer, both technically and visually. We have jumped ahead in our scene release queue and shot new videos with a completely new and mindful approach. Heart Shaped Ass is our first video with these new improvements applied, in an effort to increase the overall quality of our videos. Please let us know what you think and we hope that you enjoy!”

Okay, on the one hand, this shows a fine business operation responsive to customers. And, that’s how it should be.

To BaDoink’s credit, they’ve been seeking the feedback of that subreddit for some time.

The same is true of VRP, Czech, Naughty and Virtual Taboo. And, it’s for that reason I believe these companies will succeed in this increasingly competitive space.

And, make no mistake… it’s going to get 100x more competitive than it is presently. Wait and see.

In 2015, I was able to keep-up with and discuss every VR porn movie released. I can still almost pull that off if I tried really hard. Later this year, it won’t be possible unless I give up sleeping.

And, in 2017…forget about it! All right, moving along…

Honestly, I’m going to be straight-up, no-bullshit honest with you, folks.

The BaDoink catalog has been somewhat uneven. Yes, that’s true. The quality has varied. No way around recognizing that…

But, their statement makes it sound like everything hitherto has been subpar. Or, at least that’s the impression it made on me. When you’re not sure if you’re right… just say, it’s your impression!

Going all the way back to VR Porn’s early days in the summer of 2015, they had already released the Gina Gerson VR, which is HORNY, MAN!

Go back and read what I said about it at that time. It also struck me like it didn’t get the credit it deserved.So, you know… keeping it real. I do feel that BaDoink’s catalog has been somewhat inconsistent. But, they’ve also released some gems that I think makes them worth the price of admission.

I mean, you can get a full year of VRs for 70 bucks. And, they go through periods releasing two VRs a week. You know, I don’t recommend unless I think it’s worth it… and, I feel that’s worth it. Without a doubt.

So, what I’m trying to say is it’s great that BaDoink’s trying to improve. It’s apparent that the major VR porn producers are all trying to improve.

But, I actually feel like they came down too hard on themselves in their statement. I ain’t bullshitting you, folks! Perfectionism is good… but, don’t beat the piss out of yourself, man!



“I’ve had a good time with BaDoink VRs. It’s true.” FindVRporn.com Reviewer Guy

Okay, enough of this.. Let’s get to it here. We’ve got a Zoe Doll VR to discuss. Let’s see if there’s a significant difference between it and last week’s release. Or… was BaDoinkVR jiving us with their proclamation!

All right, let’s do this already…



Let’s talk about what was done right in this movie:

Zoe Doll: yea… the girl’s pretty. Really pretty: face, skinny body, etc. 1.: yea… the girl’s pretty. Really pretty: face, skinny body, etc. 2. Zoe’s face: You know, I think a pretty face is the most important woman part as far as VR porns go… and, Zoe… damn, she’s cute. And, I now understand BaDoink’s statement about a new approach. They did something I’ve been yelling at all the companies to do… They actually pointed the camera at Zoe’s pretty face… And held it there for a while! Hallelujah man! FINALLY! BaDoink VR delivered the face close-up. It seems so simple, man! I’m just being honest… it seems like such a simple thing. Let’s continue on this path! 3. Zoe’s walk up the stairs: wearing lingerie… oh, me… oh my! You know, I could have watched Zoe’s ass staircase-swishing for twenty minutes. Now, granted… that’d be a really long staircase. Must be one hell of a tall building. Some sort of fancy place, but yea… well done. It’s just that sort of stuff that’s so horny in VR: a pretty gal walking up some stairs. Walking up the stairs could be the whole Goddamn movie! 4. The cowgirl footage was upright. This is the correct way to VR shoot cowgirl! 5. Doggy: yea… VR doggy style! This should be used and yet everybody always seems to be cowgirl-centric. 6. Zoe’s costumes: the red dress, lingerie, thigh highs… you know, this stuff is GREAT IN VR! Either that or it’s just my fetish. But, judging by the success of Victoria’s Secret and such slut stores… if this is a fetish: it’s … wait for it… pretty prevalent! I know: that wasn’t really a wait for it situation. But, I’m still here typing and trying! 7. Minimal plot: this is always good! Granted, there was a little Valentine’s mumbo jumbo in there, but it didn’t distract from what matters. 8. Zoe’s ass: sure, I give you that…



And, that’s about it. Yes, I now understand BaDoink’s statement better. I still like some of their previous work.

But, this is a departure. It has a different feel to it.