CLEVELAND -- The Onion, as you likely know, is an online newspaper that deals in satire and parody – heavy in irony, always irreverent and often laugh-out-loud funny.

Its writers lampoon their subjects where they find them. Neither liberals nor conservatives are safe. (If you don’t believe that, click on the Onion “coverage” of the first Democratic presidential debate Wednesday). And while it does seem that they tend to have more fun with Republicans than Democrats, perhaps that is simply because they find a more target-rich environment over here on the right.

But what I like about it is that the emphasis is on humor rather than the mean-spirited stuff you hear on the late-night talk shows, and I have to laugh even when the Onion is skewering people I like.

Which brings me to U.S. Rep. Jim Jordan, the no-nonsense, seven-term conservative from Ohio’s 4th Congressional District.

This week a friend posted a piece of the Onion’s acerbic wit from a couple of years ago on her Facebook page, targeting Jordan under the headline, “Archaeologists Discover Fully Intact 17th-Century Belief System In Ohio Congressman.”

The joke was that a team of archaeologists were marveling at “how well preserved the archaic opinions were.”

“It’s just extraordinary to come across a perspective that dates back to the mid-1600s and shows absolutely no signs of decay,” the story quoted an imaginary scholar.

“All the 400-year-old viewpoints remain almost completely untouched, from religion’s place in society to the rights of women to the attitude toward science,” the scholar said, but warned that the beliefs could deteriorate rapidly under too much examination.

Read the full Onion parody of Jim Jordan at politics.theonion.com

The Facebook reaction was predictable, given that it was a receptive, mostly liberal audience who greeted it with a mix of hilarity and invective.

Well, nobody should be surprised that left-wingers would joyfully embrace an attack on one of the most conservative members of the House, but something struck me as I was reading through it:

I found it ironic that a man who exudes honesty and integrity, and lives his life according to principles that were once universally admired – not in the 1600s but through at least the first half of my life – now finds those principles as something to be ridiculed.

I’ll tell you right now that I’m prejudiced. I like and admire Jim Jordan, and have since I covered high school wrestling during the time he was winning four straight state championships at St. Paris Graham High School. Since I’ve seen how much dedication, drive and strength of purpose it takes to become an elite wrestler, it did not surprise me that when he entered politics, it was as a conservative Republican.

So, just how archaic are Jordan’s opinions?

He believes in responsibility – both individual and fiscal. He believes in smaller government, lower taxes, a strong national defense, and the government living within its means. He believes in the sanctity of life for the unborn, and believes that marriage is between a man and a woman. He is skeptical of our ability to impact climate change, and opposes spending huge sums of money to try. He believes in family. He and his wife home-schooled their four children. He believes in religion, and that the framers of the Constitution never meant to chase God out of every school and public building in America.

You might not agree with all or even part of that, but he has not made any of it a secret, to his constituents or anyone else. And he’s been elected by overwhelming margins seven times.

“I ran on certain principles, certain ideals, certain concepts, certain ideologies, and my job is to go try to get those done … as aggressively as possible,” he said last year during his endorsement interview before the editorial board of The Plain Dealer and cleveland.com. It’s "pretty basic: What did you tell the voters you were going to do when they gave you the privilege to go serve them? Go do that.”

And that’s what he does.

“Letting people keep more of their money does not add to the debt,” he said. “What adds to the debt is spending. I don’t start from the premise that the money belongs to the government.

“It belongs to the folks I get the privilege of representing. It’s their money. If I can let them keep more of it and I can let businesses keep more of it and families keep more of it, they’re going to invest it and they’re going to do a better job of spending it than typically the government will.”

My kind of guy.

In his last re-election campaign, Jordan weathered a storm of accusations from some former wrestlers at Ohio State who say that he knew of alleged sexual abuse committed by a team doctor during Jordan’s time as an assistant wrestling coach there, and did nothing about it.

He flatly denied the charges.

“I’ve taken on the speaker of the house from our own state, the IRS, the FBI, the DOJ … and I’m not going to stand up and defend our athletes who I worked out with every day to try to reach their goals on the wrestling mat? It’s just ridiculous, but that’s the nature of politics today.”

Here’s Lee Kemp, legendary wrestling champion from Chardon High School and the University of Wisconsin:

“It is hard for me to think of another person who embodies the character qualities of honesty, fairness, good judgment and wisdom like Jim Jordan. Jim also never took shortcuts or ducked challenges, that’s not how he became a champion, so the idea that Jim would know of abuse of his wrestlers and do nothing is utterly absurd,”

I’m with Lee. We must be from the 17th century, also.

An earlier version of this column contained an incorrect publication date for the Onion article.

Ted Diadiun is a member of the editorial board of cleveland.com and The Plain Dealer.

To reach Ted Diadiun: tdiadiun@cleveland.com

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