So yesterday I got a box of body parts in the mail and when I pieced them all together they were a bunch of angry cross-dressers.

I couldn’t make this shit up.

Lego sent me this to celebrate their new line or anniversary or something and I honestly have no idea what the hell to say here except that this pretty much sums up my entire life. Other bloggers get invited to go on CNN or get free furniture. I get an angry transvestite army.

Even my kid was like “Fucking-A, this shit is disturbing” except that she’s three so it was more like she picked up the girl/boy and said in a really deep, masculine voice “My name is Lori?” and then looked to me for guidance and I was all “I got nothin’, kid” and Victor couldn’t stop laughing.

And let me just go on record here as saying that I am a HUGE supporter of the transgendered community and I think Eddie Izzard in drag is 10 times hotter than Brad Pitt covered in nougat, but this is just bizarre. There was not one face in the box that wasn’t the threatening moustachioed dude.

PS. Someone just sent me the lego version of Eddie Izzard’s “cake or death”. I’m still confused but at least it makes this post slightly more cohesive*.

*No, it really doesn’t really at all.

Update: So it turns out that this angry moustachioed head is most often used in sets where he plays a patient about to undergo some sort of procedure. Of course it is.

Also, I got a very nice response from Lego which said ” Each kit was supposed to contain an assortment of random parts; however, it looks like yours somehow consisted only of angry mustache faces. Please know that this was not at all done intentionally or to freak anyone out in any way.” I also heard from several other people who got packages from Lego and none of them contained the angry moustachioed man head. So basically I control the entire market. It’s a lot like cornering the market on gold, which is enviable and glamorous. Only switch “gold” with “angry moustachioed heads”, and “enviable and glamorous” with “perplexing and mildly uncomfortable.”

Comment of the day: It’s like a bunch of tiny Tony Orlandos. ~Missie