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PLEASANT VIEW — As the old adage goes, nothing is certain except death and taxes, yet the average human tends to avoid thinking about both. However, according to the “Funeral Lady of Pleasant View," we should make at least one of those more of a priority.

Pleasant View resident Wendy Green, affectionately known as the “Funeral Lady” in her town, has worked as a licensed pre-need counselor at Lindquist Mortuaries and Cemeteries for several years now. In effect, it is Green’s job to plan what many hope to avoid: a funeral.

“I was raised by a single dad— we weren’t allowed to have fears of any kind,” Green said. “So I think the thought of a profession that others would find uncomfortable or that would repel the common man, for me that challenge had an appeal.”

Green has a bachelor’s degree in childhood development, but spent a good portion of her career as a journalist for the Standard Examiner. It was there that Green discovered her true calling.

Green was on assignment when she was called upon to interview one of her friends, a funeral director.

“As soon as he started talking, I thought, 'This is what I want to do.' It was like an 'aha' moment,” Green said.

Green promptly enrolled in funeral director school, though was unable to finish due to extenuating circumstances. She loved what she learned, though, including everything from the differences in funerary culture to the process of embalming.

“I think, I’m the 'Funeral Lady' because I incorporate it into everything I do,” Green said. “People at Wal-Mart know who I am; I talk about it all the time. I’m three steps away in any conversation from telling people what I do; I can always weave it in.”

Green knows that many find her interests rather eclectic, but insists that death is simply a fact of life, something that many choose to ignore and for which they procrastinate planning.

“It still makes me chuckle. People will make 72-hour kits, they’ll prepare for a flood or an earthquake,” Green said. “You don’t know for sure if those things are going to happen, but it’s guaranteed you’re going to die. So plan ahead.”

Green advises everyone to make just a few plans, even if it’s just writing down the preferred type of music and flowers. She said that many don’t want to plan, that the whole process doesn’t make any difference to them, but Green disagrees.

“I hate to break it to you, but the funeral isn’t for you— it’s for your family, it’s the process of grieving. You can keep it simple, but do something to help your family,” Green said.

A funeral is part of the grieving process, Green said, and it’s something very peaceful and reverent to her.

Green even tries to replicate this atmosphere in her own home with some unique home decor. She has a bookshelf made out of a casket, a headboard shaped like a gravestone and a coffin lovingly situated in the living room. The five stages of a snake embryo stand embalmed in a jar on her bathroom counter.

Photo courtesy of Wendy Green

“The other night I was getting ready to put moisturizer on my lips and I took the lid off and when I touched it I thought, this is not moisturizer,” Green said. “When I looked down, it was the snake embryo. I’m not easily creeped out, but that was bad.”

Green also makes very authentic jewelry using everything from bones to bugs. She even takes the legs off dead bees, painting them with fingernail polish and setting them in a resin heart, to make a jewelry that replicates the phrase "the bee's knees."

But this fascination with funerals is something Green feels grateful for. She hopes others can appreciate that there are those who will willingly and lovingly take care of others in their most vulnerable and most difficult moments.

"It’s hard to work with people during the lowest times of their lives," Green said. "But it’s awesome when they give me a big hug and say that it really helped to talk to me today."

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