Welcome to this week’s edition of the Surge, your weekly ranking of the presidential candidates according to the level of heretical fealty they displayed to the Iowa State Fair’s false idol, the Butter Cow.





In this week’s edition, we look at how Elizabeth Warren and Bernie Sanders both had strong showings in Iowa last week, and how Sanders is mad anyway. We congratulate the rich candidate for his latest vanity purchase, wave goodbye to another dropout, bittersweetly observe that the global economy is about to crash, and consider the front-runner’s latest string of saying things that he didn’t mean to say. We are also defending Beto O’Rourke for the second week in a row. What is happening? Has the Surge gone soft? Blame the corn dogs.