The 2020 presidential race is effectively underway and has been since the midterns in November. The most formidable candidates haven’t officially announced yet, but it’s obvious who they are. Their shadow campaigns are busy lining up donors, ginning up publicity and trying, in general, to seem impressive.

The most vigorous contender in this group is Robert “Beto” O’Rourke of Texas. O’Rourke nearly beat Ted Cruz in a Senate race this fall, you’ll remember. Democrats love him for that. Affluent progressives on the coasts love him best. He’s one of them. In the betting markets, O’Rourke is now the favorite to win the Democratic nomination. Two years from now, he plausibly could be sitting in the Oval Office.

So, it’s worth taking Beto O’Rourke seriously. What kind of president would he be? At this point we can only guess. We do know that, like most people in his social class, he’s totally against border walls.

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"We’ll fight when necessary against a president who is focused on building walls," he has said. "No wall is going to solve legitimate security concerns." "Perhaps you can be forgiven for thinking a wall is going to solve a problem."

At one point, he compared border walls to the Berlin Wall, saying the following: "We in El Paso are ashamed of this. This will be like one of those moments when folks in Germany look back at the Berlin Wall or the U.S. looks back on the project to intern Japanese Americans during World War II."

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Did you get that? Berlin Wall, bad. Border wall, also bad. Indeed. Bad. Very much like interning the Japanese during World War II is bad. It was another racist attack on Asians from the FDR administration. Or something like that. Whatever. Walls are bad, okay?

So far, that’s been about the sum total of what we know about Beto O’Rourke’s policy views. That, and he also went to the dentist recently. We know because he put it on Instagram.

But now, thankfully, we know even more. O’Rourke just did a two-hour-long interview with a reporter from Jeff Bezo’s Washington Post newspaper, which like O’Rourke himself, is a full-time mouthpiece for guilty rich people. O’Rourke knew he was speaking to his own community, so he relaxed long enough to explain what he really thinks about things, including border walls.

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Walls are bad, O’Rourke explained, not just because they intern perfectly decent Japanese people, but because they literally commit murder. Or, rather, we commit murder when we build walls. As O’Rourke put it, if you construct a barrier along our southern border, “You will ensure death. You and I, as Americans, have caused the deaths of others through these walls."

Beto’s not into details. Beto’s into ideas. Big ideas. Ideas of the future. Sweeping panoramic truths about being and personhood and new modes of authentic expression. The kind of stuff that would spill your bong water and blow your mind. Beto’s not a micro guy. He’s bigger than that. He’s a transformer.

Whoa. We killed people, and we didn’t even know it. That’s pretty heavy. How many people did we kill? Should we turn ourselves in to the authorities? Or prepare for life on the lam? Will we need new passports? Cosmetic surgery? Does Paraguay have an extradition treaty? So many questions.

The real question, though, is what the hell is Beto O’Rourke talking about? To be fair, it’s not like he’s pretending to know. O’Rourke makes it perfectly clear that he has no idea what he’s saying. And that’s OK. He’s not embarrassed about it.

When the Washington Post asked O’Rourke what he’d do about illegal aliens overstaying their visas, which is a huge part of our immigration crisis, he answered this way: “I don’t know.”

Thank you, Mr. Spicoli. Please take your seat.

Beto’s not into details. Beto’s into ideas. Big ideas. Ideas of the future. Sweeping panoramic truths about being and personhood and new modes of authentic expression. The kind of stuff that would spill your bong water and blow your mind. Beto’s not a micro guy. He’s bigger than that. He’s a transformer.

And what Beto wants to transform next, after failing to transform Texas, is nothing less than the United States of America, starting with the beliefs this country was founded on. That’s what he told Jeff Bezos’s newspaper. “Does this still work?” he asked - "this” being America. And Beto isn’t so sure. And so he asked the question that future historians will recognize as a pivot point in the life of this country: Can America “still be managed by the same principles that were set down 230-plus years ago?”

And that’s not a small question. The principles Beto refers to would include the Bill of Rights: Freedom of Speech; Freedom of Religion and Assembly; the right to self-defense and a fair trial.

Does any of that still matter? Or are all just those old ideas, stumbling blocks that are preventing people like Beto -- good and brilliant people who went to Columbia and have beautiful weekend homes -- from getting the power they need to turn this place into a truly awesome country? A country where skateboards outnumber SUVs and everyone is thin and has quality childcare. A nation that values hot yoga above football. A place where insensitive thoughts are banned and punished appropriately.

Beto doesn’t know the answer to those questions right now. But he’s thinking about it.

Adapted from Tucker Carlson's monologue from "Tucker Carlson Tonight" on January 16, 2019.