[Epistemic status: loosely based on a true story]

AIDS Specialist: You know, people think AIDS is a death sentence. But how long do you think the average person lives after getting HIV?

Me: I don’t know.

AIDS Specialist: Thirty years! Isn’t that amazing? You can get HIV, and probably you’ll live another three decades!

Me: Really?

AIDS Specialist: Yeah.

Me: So, the trick is, give yourself HIV when you’re eighty, then live to be a hundred ten.

AIDS Specialist: I like you.

Me: Really?

AIDS Specialist: No.

And a few weeks later: