



In case you've missed it, David Stern, The Greatest Commissioner There Absolutely Ever Was, has been running around this week selling 12 pounds of manure in a five-pound bag. First, he talked about the upcoming management-driven labor apocalyp...er...dispute as being necessary to return the NBA to "profitablility," a word that truly seems to have no meaning in the context of how sports owners count their millions. Riddle me this -- do you suppose that, when he wings his way to China and Europe And The Lands Beyond for the purposes of bringing in more "corporate partners" for the league, Commissioner Stern warns the moguls abroad how dangerously unprofitable the NBA has become?





piece de resistance, Commissioner Stern reaches deep into Bud Selig's threadbare bag of magic balderdash -- borrowed, I suspect, from the Hogwash School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry -- and starts musing publicly about...wait for it... contraction . Pro Tip: any time you hear a commissioner talking about this, he or she is doing so because she is trying either to blackjack the labor side prior to a lockout, which is a management technique that has nothing to do with a strike, and is not in anyway the responsibility of labor, although "both sides are at fault" journalism generally tries to make a lockout seem that way. And now, as theCommissioner Stern reaches deep into Bud Selig's threadbare bag of magic balderdash -- borrowed, I suspect, from the Hogwash School Of Witchcraft And Wizardry -- and starts musing publicly about...wait for it...Pro Tip: any time you hear a commissioner talking about this, he or she is doing so because she is trying either to blackjack the labor side prior to a lockout, which is a management technique that has nothing to do with a strike, and is not in anyway the responsibility of labor, although "both sides are at fault" journalism generally tries to make a lockout seem that way.





(Pro Tip: Watch out for any story that uses the phrase "work stoppage" instead of "lockout." That reporter is trying to slip one by you.)





Or, alternatively, the commissioner is trying to blackjack a city into squandering public money on a new arena. Hello, Sacramento! Trust This Blog. David Stern is also not going overseas to snow his "corporate partners" on the idea that they should invest in a league that is going to ensure fewer American markets for its product. That is because David Stern is not stupid. Just greedy.

(Thanks to the late Ms. Parker for use of the headline)