Tired of being a short stack in a world of towering flapjacks? Sick of people looking down on you just because they are human skyscrapers while you're just a duplex? Artie O'Dactyl's Growth Tonic is the nifty new nostrum formulated specifically to lift your spirits! You are guaranteed--that's right, GUARANTEED!--to soar to new heights so long as you imbibe thrice daily!Now some people are picky about not being giraffe people when they're tall, and Artie O'Dactyl's isn't for whiners. You want a product that doesn't have a slight chance of moderate to severe giraffeomorphosis? Go see how far Harry's Height Harmonizer gets you. You don't want the possibility of horns 'n' hooves to go with your added stories? Go play it safe, and by safe we mean short. Artie O'Dactyl's is for people who want GUARANTEED RESULTS. You do want GUARANTEED RESULTS, don't you? We thought so.Artie O'Dactyl's Growth Tonic. Available wherever fine snake oils are sold.The incredible art is by kabukihomewood and you MUST fav it here . The public domain original is here