JESSE WRITES YOUR BIO (for an individual) and we post it all over the interwebs/send it to you! Includes vinyl/digital download and a most entertaining 50-75 word bio.

Here's Amy's:

Amy coalesced into being in the early hours of the invasion of Normandy. Some unholy combination of primordial seawater stained with earnest blood caused her to awaken. Up from the recesses she swam, drinking in the epigenetic memory of hundreds of soldiers from the crimson-swathed sea. Upward. Shaken into consciousness by the thudding cacophony of mortar shells, newborn but ageless, beautiful and terrible, she breached surface. They thought it was an explosion at first: a blinding light, a great geyser of seafoam and blood. The sea parted, for a moment, where before a great troopship floated, its still-living inhabitants gibbering in ecstatic terror as they skidded breakneck across the shore.

The seabirds, her harbingers, heralded her arrival. "SEE, SEE", they caw'd. A hundred eyes, silent, turned.

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