It’s time to turn oilsands controversy into cold hard cash.

Those taking verbal shots at Desmond Tutu and others using Alberta’s oilsands as a platform to bash Canada are missing the opportunity of a lifetime.

Yes folks, it’s time to tout Fort McMurray as the hottest tourist destination in the world.

It’s a vacation for misguided activists, poseurs, rich kid wannabes who’ve always dreamed of being celebrity protesters and, of course, the already famous who want to ‘make their bones’ as envirowarriors.

Think of it as a safari, but rather than bagging a wild animal, you’ll be bringing down those nasty oil companies destroying the world!

Alberta can offer charter flights from California or New York to Fort Mac; the very belly of beast, where ‘protester-tourists’ can walk in the footsteps of formerly drug addicted rock stars and cinematic giants like Daryl Hannah; whom you might remember played the mermaid in Splash.

Then we take you for a tour of the oilsands where you’ll be given a sign and be arrested by a ‘real’ RCMP officer.

Give the performance of a lifetime as you’re hauled off kicking and screaming while a TV production crew shoots a video you’ll always treasure.

And if you don’t like the first take, the crew will cheerfully shoot it over again until they capture the right look of outrage on your face.

Then, you’ll be guests of honour at a press conference which is televised internationally on the CBC, courtesy of Canadian taxpayers.

CBC reporters openly sympathetic to your cause will ask you questions like ‘is this really all about the children for you?’

You’ll have been briefed and be ready for that ‘tough question’ with a prepared statement telling the world about how ‘children are the future’ and how you weep daily for fate of the planet.

If you like you’ll get to use terms like ‘filthy’ and ‘dirty’ oil without having to comment on why it’s OK for OPEC countries to sell the same product.

Hey, has-beens!

If you’re an actor who hasn’t had a hit since the ’90s and are resigned to life in the reality show circuit, this will get the attention of Hollywood producers who didn’t realize you were still alive.

If you’re a burned out rock star who’s last album sold 12 copies, this will let everyone know you are still a relevant artist with something important to say … even if you can’t always remember what it is.

If you’re not famous, you can regale your rich liberal friends back home with harrowing stories of how you stood up to Canada, the mad dog scourge of the western world and international outlaw.

Isn’t it time Fort Mac capitalized on its growing notoriety?

Become the place people love to hate.

It could emerge as the centre of universe for the latest trend in adventure vacations; ‘advocacy tourism’.

Let’s capitalize on 1%ers who wear their trendy causes like a fashion accessory.

It makes them feel less vacuous, like their lives have meaning.

Aging boomers can relive their activist days in the ’60s.

And it’ll be a huge boost to tourism in Fort McMurray.

OK ... so maybe this is really a cheeky way of knocking down the anti-oilsands celebs and wannabes.

Bear in mind however, the last thing they want is to be mocked.

So a good way to deal with them is to laugh in their face and take their money and send them packing.