The Rampant Spread of ‘I Love You’

In many Asian cultures, people rarely, if ever, utter the words “I love you.” But in America “I love you” can be used as an endearing greeting from lovers, as a supportive term from parents to their children and even as a casual goodbye to friends: “That was an amazing brunch, let’s do it again soon. I love you, bye!”

American culture is just much more intimate than what I was used to growing up. If I said “I love you” to my parents, they would probably think I’m crazy or that I have terminal cancer. I have said it to my friends sometimes, in a drunk-guy-at-the-bar way. “Hey, I love you, bro, you’re awesome, man.” And I have said it to one girl, but to be honest I’m not sure I meant it — it just seemed like the right answer at the moment.

She was wonderful, and two months into our relationship she told me, “I really like you.” I said, “I really like you too.” Then she said, “I really, really like you,” and looked into my cornea. And I said, “Yes, I really, really like you too!” Frustration came over her and she pushed on: “No! I mean, like, I really, really, really like you!” Aha — I finally realized what she meant, so I gave her the answer she was looking for: “Oh yeah, I love you.”