If you thought the story of a dad who takes his little girl out on a monthly ‘date’ is cute, then I’ve got news for you.

It’s not. It’s creepy. And what’s more, it’s symptomatic of the poisonous ways that we treat male parenting.

In case you missed it, mum Caitlin Fladager posted a Facebook status about her husband taking their daughter on ‘dates’, writing:

My husband decided once a month he will take our little girl out on a “date” where she gets all dressed up and gets taken out for cake and ice cream. Tonight was there first night doing it. He helped her pick out a dress for her to wear, got a little purse ready for her, held the door open for her, and made her feel like a princess. She loved it was so happy when she got home. She will always know how she deserves to be treated because her dad sets such a high example.

I’d like to take this moment to remind everyone that being treated ‘like a princess’ would actually involve being married off at the age of 12 to a man you’ve never met to secure a political alliance.




Also, if you want to raise a woman who has a healthy attitude towards men, giving her one afternoon a month where she has to look pretty before she’s given treats? Not the way to do it.

But there’s a bigger issue at play here than playing fast and loose with the concept of ‘dating’ and that’s the people who are queuing up to congratulate a man for spending some time with his kid. Think about that.

Holding hands (Picture: Getty Images)

Do we see mothers getting 89 thousand Facebook likes for mopping up sick and doing the school run?

Of course not.

What do we go nuts for fathers spending time with their kids? Why do we call it ‘babysitting’ when a dad is active in childcare? Why are we surprised that the person who helped create the child then deigns to spend time with it?

Taking your kid out for cake and ice cream in a cute outfit is the easy bit. The fun bit. It’s what you imagine parenting will be like.

How many mums would be delighted to have the opportunity for that kind of time with her child. Trying to wrestle a screaming toddler into a trolly so you can get a supermarket shop done before starting the school run? That’s hard.

Dad and daughter time should be seen as standard. (Picture: Getty)

But it’s not just women who suffer from the idea of men ‘babysitting’ or taking their kids on ‘dates’ – it’s men too. The idea that a dad is a secondary parent, that their contributions are sporadic treats rather than a constant influence?

It’s demeaning, and it’s probably why only 14% of men are the full time childcare provider and only 11% take shared parental leave.

This attitude towards dads is all part of a culture which sees men stuck in a rut of pseudo masculinity. Just last year research was released which discovered that men would rather be unemployed than do ‘pink collar’ or ‘women’s’ work.

Going to the park with your kid is not curing cancer. (Picture: Liberty Antonia Sadler for Metro.co.uk)

Jobs like caring, waitressing and nursing are being dismissed out of hand by men because of the way that we pigeon hole them, and praising a man for taking his daughter out for the afternoon is part of that.

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It makes father daughter time into a rarity, it reduces a man to nothing more than a babysitter, it sends the message that by hanging out with his child a man is doing something noteworthy or even strange.



So by all means, spend some quality time with your children. But don’t use the language of an adult sexual relationship to describe it, and let’s stop handing out gold stars to any man who wants to spend some time with his kid.

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