As the freshly plundered FedEx truck disappears down the lane, not so much as a bronze centime left rattling around the back, now seems as good a time as any to take stock of the year in golf. So here are our (slightly less valuable) end-of-season prizes.

Anticlimax of the year

The first big event of the season was The Match: Tiger v Phil. Yes, we’d forgotten about it, too. The sudden-death denouement to this much-trumpeted mano-a-mano atmosphere-free farce saw two detached zillionaires playing a 93-yard par-three over and over as the darkness fell. They’re planning another one, cleats wearily trudging on a human face for ever.

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Heartbreak of the year

In 2012, Kim In-kyung missed a one-foot putt for the Dinah Shore. A choke of Doug Sandersesque magnitude. This year she had a chance to slay the demon, in the mix on Sunday at the ANA Inspiration (the tournament’s current guise). But her hopes were dashed in surreal fashion as her ball hit a branch, snagged in a knot of twigs, and stubbornly refused to drop. Thank goodness she’s got a British Open on her CV, or this narrative would be too much to bear.

Quadruple bogey of the year

Rory “MacGuffin” McIlroy on the 1st at Portrush. And there was us thinking five over after six at Birkdale was a shaky start. As his opening drive snap-hooked out of bounds, taking a nation’s hopes with it, Shane Lowry was on 9 making birdie, the real plot unfolding in plain sight.

Nonuple bogey of the year

Portrush again, where former Open champ turned weekend hacker David “Hold My Beer, Ian Baker-Finch” Duval took 14 on the 7th, after losing two tee shots then playing the wrong ball. He also carded two triples and a quadruple on his way to a 36-hole score of +27. Just for the record, he played the back nine on Friday in one under. Of course he did.

Player of the year

Ko Jin-young. Two majors and one near miss, and with a swing so smooth she makes Freddie Couples look like Jim Furyk.

The Rodney Dangerfield award for getting no respect

Brooks Koepka uses perceived slights as fuel, so the Bethpage Black crowd chanting for Dustin Johnson as the pair tussled for the PGA was only asking for trouble. Koepka looked like shipping his six-shot lead in embarrassing fashion, before deciding he simply wasn’t having it. “OK. All right. I’ve got everybody against me. Let’s go.” He regrouped, retained the Wanamaker Trophy, and his current run in the majors is 1-2-1-2-4. So there’s plenty of admiration for him round our way, and that’s before we get to his righteous campaign against the evil of slow play. “Some of these guys are so slow, I’ll take my sweet time getting to the ball. I don’t have to go to the bathroom, but I go and chill in there for five minutes, so we get on the clock. And now we’re playing at my pace.” You have got to love this guy.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Brooks Koepka used the crowd support for Dustin Johnson to his advantage as he won the PGA Championship at Bethpage Black. Photograph: Sam Greenwood/Getty Images

Shot of the year

On the final day at the ANA, Xiyu Lin shoved her approach into 18 way right. She ended up on the walkway crossing Poppie’s Pond, her route to the flag blocked by a wall and a large decorative ceramic pot. No problem! In lieu of going direct, she bumped her ball along the bridge, pinged it off a bank so it took a sharp left turn, and sent it trickling to kick-in distance. Par! That’s the thing with the pros; they’d spank us at crazy golf as well.

Augusta National performance of the year

Hats off to Tiger, of course, but did he secure victory by playing the last six holes in five under with a migraine? Jennifer Kupcho was two behind Maria Fassi on the 13th tee during the final round of the inaugural Augusta National Women’s Amateur. Despite a Withnailesque bastard behind the eyes, she finished eagle, par, birdie, birdie, par, birdie, blitzing the field with a 67. Three months later, she made three birdies in the last four at the Evian, her pin-seeking final-day 66 snatching second place from nowhere, in only her third major as a pro. Her easy-going style suggests she might end up making a habit of this.

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Fairytale debut of the year

Hinako Shibuno, the Smiling Cinderella, turned up at Woburn for her first tournament outside Japan, the British Open, assuming the course would be a seaside links, just like the men’s. You could argue that her manager should have been all over this, but it seems he was too busy sourcing the cuddly toy duck he would wave all week from behind the ropes while sporting a neon-blue curly wig. Whether Shibuno took things any more seriously is a moot point, as she spent all four days winning over the gallery with her infectious spirit and superstar charm. Oh, and she drove it long and straight, peppered the flags with heat-seeking irons, and struck a carpe-diem winning putt that would still be rolling today had it not met the hole flush. She didn’t hang about, either. Brooks would doubtless approve.

Remaining hope for the year

Here’s wishing Europe all the best in the Solheim Cup. Though after what happened on the 18th at Woburn, you’d need a hard heart to deny Lizette Salas, five feet from glory, a repeat of her winning-putt heroism of 2017. It’s on!