Thousands of otaku stagger home yenless and struggling under the weight of the doujinshi, illustration books, games and other goods they’ve snapped up in a frenzied three days of pushing, shoving, and waiting in endless lines. Yep, Comiket 87 is over for now, until the whole ordeal begins again next summer.

Most people agree that the event is more arduous than fun, and the volunteer staff are in the unenviable position of keeping things under control, trying to keep the hordes moving, and looking anyone who collapses from the excitement of it all.

Below we have a collection of inspiring quotes from these heroic men and women. Some of them are simply priceless.

1. “The most important thing is your life! Not comics!!”

Wise words indeed.

2. “Move closer together! You are all puyo from Puyo Puyo! Keep right against the person in front of you! It’s okay. You’re different colours so you won’t disappear!”

This is a reference to the ’90s tile-matching game Puyo Puyo whose enemies, called puyos, are similar the slime monsters from Dragon Quest. Great to see staff putting things in words Comiket visitors will not only understand but find quite endearing.

3. “Walk slowly! As slowly as Hunter x Hunter come out! But don’t stop!”

The Hunter x Hunter manga is notorious for its slow releases.

4. “If you don’t want to appear on TV then move forward!”

5. “It’s Comiket until you’re back home.”

6. “Lupin often appears at Comiket! Please look after your valuables!”

A reference to the gentleman thief main character of Lupin III.

7. “Adhere to ‘o-ka-yu’ inside the halls! No pushing (osanai)! No running (kakenai)! No giving up on your dreams (yume wo akiramenai)!”

8. No matter how tough it is, don’t stop and stand still!

To make sure that the huge number of visitors all make it inside, everyone in the halls must constantly be moving. In the morning especially there’s no chance of leisurely browsing, and most attendees come armed with a map planning their route.

9. “Please move forward, even just one step! You’ll be closer to your dreams!”

Comiket involves a lot of queueing, and because of the space constraints the staff frequently remind everyone not to leave any gaps between them and the person in front of them. Personal space does not exist here.

10. “Check around you. Anything suspicious? Any war spoils?”

Comiket is often described as a battle zone, and the goods otaku come away with are their spoils of war.

11. “You can’t leave the venue still in cosplay! In the same way your waifu can’t come out of the screen!”

Many hardcore anime fans refer to their most beloved 2D girl as their very own waifu.

12. “Line up in the line you want! Please ask if you’re not sure. Anyone who doesn’t know what they came here for please go home!”

Way to call it like it is.

13. “When calling for a staff member, call when someone looks like they’re going to collapse, not when they’ve already gone down!”

This is a very real fear in the crush of people, especially in summer.

13. “Move forward. Get close together. You’re all men so there’ll be no problem. Probably.”

15. “Don’t get your DS or PSP out! This is no time for canoodling with your girlfriend!”

16. “If you get out of line and don’t get home until 8.30pm a BAD END will be waiting!”

A bad end in a visual novel is one in which something bad happens, such as not ending up with your dream girl, or dying.

The volunteer staff have a seriously tough job but they still manage to do it with a sense of humour, and Comiket wouldn’t be possible without them. Thanks, C87 staff!

For those of you who are interested, the Japanese and the rankings are below.

Source: Twitter via Hamusoku

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