Before I joined the kink community I told my husband that I didn’t think it would be possible for me to spank someone without laughing. It just seemed so silly, and my natural reaction to that is to laugh. It turns out I don’t need to stop myself from laughing. It is more than possible to have a scene that involves a healthy amount of sadism, all the while giggling at the absurdity of it all.

When I first started coming out to play parties I was very reluctant to top in public because I thought I was doing it “wrong”. I can’t keep a straight face to save my life and I love to make other people laugh, even when I’m hurting them. Scratch that, *especially* when I’m hurting them. I have since learned that I merely have my own style of play and that being serious is very much *not* a part of that. I had been worried about the opinions of those around me but have since realized that a) they’re not the ones I’m playing with so whether they like it doesn’t really matter and b) a lot of people tell me they love watching my scenes because they can tell everyone is having a lot of fun. Kinky play should be fun. I mean, it’s called play, right?

While over at my kinky friend’s place, some friends and I were testing out various implements of torture on my husband. Trying to be clever, my husband so helpfully suggested that a giving him a cookie would be a horrible and mean torture technique. I took this as a challenge. He would get his cookie, but he was going to have to work for the gooey chocolatey goodness.

He was lying on the ground at the time. I picked up the cookie from the plate and gingerly set it on his forehead. His hands were held securely to the floor by my lovely assistants (friends are useful as props). I picked up a nearby elastic band and drew it back like a tiny bow and arrow, and placed it directly over his nipple.

“Go on, eat your cookie! But don’t let it touch the floor!”

A look of determination came over his face. If I was going to make a challenge out of the simple act of eating a cookie, he was going to win that challenge. His face contorted and his forehead wriggled as he tried to work the cookie down to his mouth. I’m laughing hysterically as he moves his face in ways that it has never moved before. The cookie fell. SNAP! “God dammit!” he yelps. I offered some helpful advice, “I told you not to let it fall.” He glares as I place the cookie back onto his forehead. He tries a different approach this time. He bounced his head up, trying to make the cookie jump over his nose and fall into his mouth. He failed miserably. SNAP! Everyone laughed. Except the boy.

I placed the cookie back on his forehead. He moved it down slowly, as if navigating a treacherous trail. He got it around his nose and then finally into his mouth and took a triumphant bite. Before he could take a second bite I promptly snatch it out of his mouth and place it on his forehead once again.

“But I got the cookie!”, he protests.

“Yes, you did a very good job earning your bite” I explain.

We spent the next few minutes playing this fun little game. He got a few bites, and I snapped his nipple a few times. Sometimes because he dropped it, sometimes because I felt he needed more of a challenge.

BDSM/Kink does not always have to be leather, whips, chains, and handcuffs. Hell, if you’re not into any of those things, it might never be those things for you. There is no prescribed set of equipment or activities that all people must do to call themselves kinky. If you are doing something involving bondage/discipline, domination/submission or sadism and masochism, you are playing with BDSM. If you like to dress up like Rambo and have eggs thrown at your face while your torturer sings Oh Canada, then have fun with that. No one is going to tell you that’s not kinky. Laugh at yourself if you want to. Just because it’s silly doesn’t mean it’s not “real”, just ask anyone I’ve hit with my glitter paddle. Trust me, the pain it delivers is very real.

Thanks for reading our first blog post, we’ll be trying to update fairly regularly and we already have several other posts in the works. So…would anyone like a cookie?