Wrestling and my mental health have been intertwined for as long as I can remember.

Well, it makes sense as I cannot remember a time I didn’t watch wrestling (except a few years after the awful Invasion angle) and I also cannot recall a time I didn’t have crippling anxiety and depression.

I may flutter in and out of my intense fandom of pro wrestling and again this seems to go hand in hand with how I am feeling in the head.

Early in my life I found it hard to make friends and sought solace in the NWO and D-Generation X and as time went by it was a coping mechanism for the thoughts I had.

The stigma of mental health was heavy back in the late 90’s and early 00’s. Not knowing what was happening with me or why I felt like this I just accepted it and deeper I feel into the darkness.

Yes I know it’s not the dictionary definition of real but it’s the theatre, athleticism and drama that draws the millions AND millions into it.

I can remember when I was at my worst clearly as this is when my memory of storylines gone by is the most vivid.

A clear recollection of the formation of the NWO because I had zero close friends to The Rock returning to Raw for one episode chastising Rusev as this was the last day I saw my Grandfather before he passed away.

Obsession bordering on the fanatical is one of the hardest parts of mental health issues as instead of talking with others, I fall deep into pop culture.

My life slowly spiralled out of control as I got into independent wrestling obsessively in 2016 and tried to mention my depression and bereavement at work only to be met with ‘try not to be depressed’. This was about as helpful as fans trying to get Vince to stop his awful creative.

And now as my father is currently going through cancer, a situation I had previously and also fell into a wrestling binge, I now long for AEW weekly as an escape for how I am feeling.

Now I won’t necessarily seek counselling as I am painfully stubborn due to decades of being told to ‘Man up’ but I want this to be an article that will get people like myself to not fall into an obsession but balance escapism with talking through the problems.

Goodnight and good luck!

Twitter: @Matthewwebbuk

Instagram: @Superheronexus