'The Project's Gorgi Coghlan opens up about her longing for a bigger family.

Every single time I’m offered a chicken wish bone I hope for another child. Every time. Actually, I lie. I recently exchanged my usual wish for positive results from my mum’s cancer tests. Thankfully that one came true.

I never thought I’d have one child. I can only ever remember declaring to myself and the world that I would love three to four kids. Yep, to me, that sounded like the perfect ‘family unit’.

Our daughter is six years old now. She’s the light of our lives and I’ve never ever had a happier chapter than raising this curious, kind, loving and spirited little character.

As parents of an only child, it’s always fascinating to observe people’s judgement and assumptions. I’m immune now to the common question ‘so it’s just the one?’. The assumption that I’m a ‘career woman’ so I probably only wanted the one so I could continue my high flying media career.

I remember a colleague once telling me about a ‘typical only child’ they had met – ‘you know the type’ she continued, ‘ no clue socially and spoilt rotten because she’s an only child’.

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Really? I’ve found it extremely difficult in this situation to remind people that I know lots of people who are ‘selfish’ and ‘socially not comfortable’ who come from large families with siblings. Or that a lot of siblings I know don’t like each other at all and the angst between them causes enormous friction and pain in peoples’ lives. Or that I’ve met outstanding ‘only children’ who are kind, outgoing, socially conscience and just delightful.

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My fertility journey has been a diverse and colourful one. We’ve been ‘trying’ for number two for around five years now. A quick list of what I’ve trialled and tested reveals quite an exhausting but elaborate list of activities:

Gluten-free diet

No alcohol

Laproscopy

Chinese medicine

Music therapy

Getting my tarot cards done

Turkish coffee reader

Wearing crystals

Getting my astrology chart done

Meditation

IVF

Polyps removed

It’s a list that reveals a searching soul. When you’re looking for an answer to something you crave so badly, you’re prepared to strip yourself back to your core.

I’ve had to embrace my vulnerability. I’ve put my body through torturous hormone injections and felt like I was injecting poison into it to create possible life. I’ve been to weddings, parties and social outings and refused to drink ‘just in case’ I might be pregnant. Watching everyone else be in the moment enjoying life, while I was still holding on to what I could to try and control the situation that was completely out of my control.

But now I’ve surrendered to what I believe is the universe’s greater plan. In every process of this journey I’ve discovered something deeper about my spirit, my purpose and why being a mother means so much to me.

I don’t regret a single thing. If anything, this journey has brought me so much closer to my daughter and husband and has helped me realise what I have right in front of me. Some people never get the chance to be parents. This journey has further deepened my desire to be the best mother I can be and to cherish every single day with my ‘party of three’.

I still struggle to say ‘just the one’ when people ask me how many children I have. I still find myself defending ‘the only child’ by saying, “yes, but it’s not by choice”.

I think part of the reason I’ve felt so comfortable talking about my IVF journey and fertility struggle is that it releases so much built up guilt and inadequacy in me. It helps me. If it helps just one other woman going through the same feelings, that’s an added bonus.

I now truly hold on to the hope that there may be another little soul or souls who will enter our lives when the timing is right. So I’ll keep wishing on those chicken bones. Surrendering but never giving up.