During my second month in London I was assaulted (Picture: Bradley Birkholz)

When I moved here a year ago, London was promised to me as an LGBTQ+ safe haven.

I was told of a progressive paradise with a thriving community, filled with rainbows and vibrant acceptance for all.

What I actually found was a city that was actively hostile towards me and my fellow LGBTQ+ family. Even more than that, I found a city hostile towards any kind of difference whatsoever.

I’m from a rural, conservative area in California but I’ve been living in Wales for the last four years.


Compared to London, Wales is often portrayed to be less welcoming towards LGBTQ+ folks – but it’s London that I feel less safe in.



In Cardiff, I would walk down the streets in full drag and hardly get so much as a funny stare, but in my first month in London I had someone call me a f****t for walking down the street wearing a shirt with flowers on it.

During my second month in London I was assaulted. I was yelled at and shoved in the streets and told to go back to where I came from. The fact that my assailant appeared inebriated did little to assuage what was a horrific, and frankly terrifying experience.

On both occasions, I wasn’t particularly femme presenting – but to someone with deeply entrenched toxic masculinity and homophobia, they don’t need much to go on to decide that someone is too feminine or ‘different’.

On occasions where I have presented more gender non-conforming I have faced abuse, been catcalled and laughed at by groups of men (Picture: Luisa De la Concha Montes/@erst.while)

Stonewall reports that ‘one in five LGBT people have experienced a hate crime or incident because of their sexual orientation and/or gender identity in the last 12 months’.

I have enormous privilege walking down the streets as a white, cis gay man. Yet if I can walk down the streets and have abuse hurled at me just for wearing a top with flowers on it, how much worse is it for my trans, gender non-confirming and BAME friends?

On occasions where I have presented more gender non-conforming I have faced abuse, been catcalled and laughed at by groups of men but compared to some of my friends, who are just trying to live their lives, the abuse I face is minimal.

The other day a friend was repeatedly called the ‘f’ word for just for being gender non-conforming on the tube.

I hear these stories all the time from friends who live in London – a city advertised as one of the most accepting cities in the world for LGBTQ+ folks.

And I just think… all I’d like to do is walk down the streets and not get yelled at, catcalled for dressing more femininely, or shoved for wearing tall boots (Picture: Bradley Birkholz)

The same Stonewall research found: ‘Two in five trans people have experienced a hate crime or incident because of their gender identity in the last 12 months’ and ‘four in five anti-LGBT hate crimes and incidents go unreported, with younger LGBT people particularly reluctant to go to the police’.

These days I frequently hear (mostly straight) people comment on how LGBTQ+ rights is a bygone fight.

We have gay marriage now, what else do you want? You have protections against discrimination, isn’t that enough? Why do you keep rubbing this in our faces? You’re forcing an agenda on us! Don’t you just want to be normal? You’re clearly just doing all this for attention… But people don’t actually get beat up, do they?



All I’d like to do is walk down the streets and not get yelled at, catcalled for dressing more femininely, or shoved for wearing tall boots. Why is it that my self expression comes at the cost of my safety?

Of course there is a vibrant LGBTQ+ community here and I don’t mean to take away from that or be disrespectful towards the amazing activists we have – but I didn’t expect to feel so unsafe just for being myself.

The city still has a long way to go before it can fairly call itself a safe haven for the LGBTQ+ community.

You can find Bradley on his YouTube channel.

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