When “Better Call Pauls” covered the topic of pick-up artists, I thought they were spot-on by saying that these people are scam artists taking advantage of the fact that men/boys of my generation were raised with poor social skills. And not only that, but being raised in a feminist environment by single mothers and mostly female teachers means often times, boys have grown up feeling ashamed of themselves just for being male. They tend to grow up being made to feel that masculine and dominant behavior is yucky and rapey, and so any urge to be authentically male is stifled in them, until all that energy bursts like one of their zits. So young men feel like if they can’t live up to the feminists’ standards for male docility, they must instead overcompensate by swinging the other way, becoming total misogynists, and then wondering why their obvious attempts to “score” women as if they were some kind of video game currency usually fail. It’s a nightmare, and the ease of getting laid for women is one reason I’m glad to be one.

But, while it’s easy to get laid if you’re a woman, women are hard wired to screen potential mates and select only high-quality ones, which leads many of them to be just as sexually frustrated as a man who can’t get any. And when this happens, feminism steps in to tell these lonely, depressed women, look honey, it’s not you. It’s not that he can smell dick on your breath from another guy on the first date. It’s not that you dress with nothing left up to the imagination and, being on public display like a Christmas tree, makes you easy to get and therefore not worth pursuing. It’s not that you look like a misshapen cross between a particularly ugly termite queen and an Oompa Loompa and make no effort to lose weight, smell good, or otherwise improve your appearance. It’s not that you offer nothing he needs that he can’t get for cheaper chatting with a stranger online than he can get after blowing $40 or more on you for a dinner date. It’s not that while on said dinner date you’re lousy company because you can’t keep up a basic fucking conversation for 5 minutes without staring at your phone. It’s not because you don’t give a damn about him or any other guy and only ever use them for sex and occasional favors and free drinks/meals. It’s not because you don’t have any genuine interests or hobbies or contributions to society that make you noteworthy. It’s not that you lack skills and talents that go beyond speed-texting and walking in really high heels.

Nope, it’s that damn patriarchy. See honey, because you’re not a Barbie and therefore not living up to the impossible standards the patriarchy places on women (you know in case having like 50 advanced degrees while still looking 24 didn’t tip you off to the fact that Barbie isn’t anyone’s “standard” of what they expect a real woman to be), that and only that is the reason why your dream guy won’t call you after a one-night stand. See, while the cultural message to the male who fails at getting laid is “work harder and improve yourself”, the cultural message to the female who fails at landing her dream guy, even if he’s way out of her league and she has nothing to offer him, is always “it’s everyone’s fault except yours”.

Feminism perpetuates this idea. Dieting for your New Year’s resolution or to get a beach body by summer? The thing on display won’t just be your toned abs, but also your sad, pathetic case of internalized misogyny and fat-shaming, your desperation to conform to patriarchal perfectionism. Plucking those eyebrows or waxing that cooter? You’re just conforming to “the patriarchy’s” expectation that you look like a child as an adult, because all men are pedophiles and that’s why they prefer a smooth body to a hairy one. (Can’t have anything to do with the fact that smooth skin shows signs of estrogen and femininity as well as youth which signifies fertility, no it’s all about how men are evil for having certain aesthetic preferences.)

Basically, what we’re being told as young women is that every guy we could possibly want should be grateful that we want him, and therefore not reciprocating our feelings for him makes him the bad guy. The onus is not on women to make themselves more attractive or more presentable or even more quality company in general, it’s solely on men to force themselves to gracefully accept even the most unwanted of “gifts” in this regard. That is why we still have a culture that for the most part believes that boys and men cannot be victims of rape if the perpetrator is a woman. It’s her job to decide if she wants to or not, it’s his job to go along with whatever she wants, whether she says yes or no. We live in a society that is so invested in protecting women’s feelings that it barely even gives men the basic right to sexual consent or refusal; when a woman decides to say “yes”, his “yes” is implied and expected.

Women, we need to stop expecting this. We need to stop blaming others for our own singleness and loneliness. We need to stop seeing relationships with guys as a “what can I get out of him” deal and start seeing them in a healthier way. Start looking in the mirror and assessing, both inwardly and outwardly, about yourself needs to change. And then commit yourself to making those changes. The feminists want to tell you a seductive lie; that you don’t need to change yourself at all, because you’re already perfect. Do they know you at all? No? So why are they saying that? They’re saying that because sexually frustrated single women are their biggest target for recruitment.

I’ll make no secret out of it, I was at my most feminist when I was also at my most hopelessly single. I was alone, I was miserable, I had come almost to the verge of rape to get what I wanted. Reading and sharing feminist memes and literature became a crutch for my wounded ego. I was too socially retarded to talk to men in real life, but I had no problem projecting my baggage onto them so that I would feel less inadequate. Feminism rests entirely on this belief in omnipotent, omnibenevolent, omniscient femaleness. If you are biologically female (or sometimes, psychologically female), you are a powerful, wise, and sexy goddess no matter what nasty boys say about you. Everything to the contrary is a patriarchal, capitalist lie designed to make you feel like crap about yourself to buy more concealer and hairspray. They protect every bad, or simply unfortunate, woman out there in an ego-cushioning cocoon of compliments to their sex and disparagements to the other sex. But that kind of thing actually does more harm than good, because it’s really just learning self-mastery and self-improvement that helps someone in the dating realm, not false hope from phony feel-good memes and slogans.

In my experience, it has always been the worst people who are the least open to criticism and judgments from others. It’s like they can smell “their own shit on their knees”, as Marilyn Manson penned, but their egos are too fragile for them to acknowledge this, so anyone who smells it and gags at them is reckoned in their brains as a malicious bully, a liar who is just making bad things up about them just to hurt their feelings. That is why feminists, generally speaking, are so closed off when it comes to allowing open, honest feedback from people who don’t agree with their beliefs. They don’t want comments on any of their posts from non-feminists, and this should point to the one thing you should understand about contemporary feminism; it’s all about padding their own sensitive egos. It’s about sheltering themselves mentally from any and all feedback, because they know that they suck somewhere, deep down, but are forever bent on refusing to acknowledge that they have a problem and seek help for it. I hope they have fun continuing to strike down every child who can see that the empress is naked. But I don’t need that kind of lying bullshit in my life anymore.