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The forces of good and evil met in Silvis, Illinois, on Wednesday.

The battleground was the John Deere Classic pro-am tournament, where friendly martian Bill Murray struck a decisive victory against a legion of unwashed St. Louis Cardinals fans.

More accurately, Bill Murray was playing golf and riffed on a couple of proud, hapless St. Louisans.

The Quad-City Times' Don Doxsie (h/t SB Nation's Seth Rosenthal) reports the actor took a couple of Cards fans to task at the event while talking to patrons about his beloved Chicago Cubs.

According to Doxsie, Murray asked fans in the gallery if they had watched the Cubs take both games against St. Louis in Tuesday's doubleheader. One woman answered, saying she was a Cardinals fan.

To this Murray dropped the hammer, as only he can.

"Satan's messengers on Earth," the actor responded. "And then it turns out your team is cheaters, too."

I presume at this point the Cardinals fan shrieked and exploded in a watery blast of light beer. Murray wasn't done, either.

Later in the round, Murray stopped to sign an autograph for a kid wearing a Cardinals hat. He finished his signature, noticed the hat and told the child to scram.

"Are you a Cardinals fan? Get out of here," Murray said. "Rotten kid."

Yep, there goes Billy Murray doing the Lord's work as usual—because if there's anything we know for sure about Right Way Fever, it's that early intervention and treatment are key.

If you don't catch it quickly and stomp it out before it spreads from the hat to the brain, it can lead to hallucination, crippling paranoia and fatal levels of deluded self-importance in the blood stream.

Doctors are working on a cure, but all trials in human subjects have ended in researchers being declared "jealous haters."

Dan is on Twitter, hating and being jealous and totally unfair.