Through the course of my daily interneting, I read that President Obama thanked the Japanese for karate, karaoke, and emojis. Yes, the little happy faces you send in text messages. I chuckled to myself, figured it was parody, and went on my merry way.

This afternoon I was horrified to learn it was not parody I encountered, oh no. President Obama in his infinite foreign policy wisdom (I’m assuming his narcissism believes as much), actually thanked Japan for emojis and karate (pronounced the same way he says Pakistan — terribly). But then he also gave Queen Elizabeth II an iPod, so the bar is set pretty low here.

“Today is a chance for Americans, especially our young people, to say thank you for all the things we love from Japan.” said President Obama, who according to Politico, was speaking at an arrival ceremony with with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe. And then things took a turn for the excruciatingly embarrassing, “like karate, karaoke, manga, and anime, and of course emojis,” Obama continued.

Of everything Japan has contributed to the cultural space, President Obama finds these most relevant…

Karaoke

Karate

Manga

Emojis

Anime

While Obama was busy praising karaoke, he neglected to give thanks for Godzilla (though that would’ve required homage to actual foreign policy, given the giant lizard’s nuclear origins) … who didn’t take the news so well…

Emojis, karaoke, anime, and karate — America’s diplomatic relations in a nutshell. Next time America flirts with electing a pop culture president, may we all remember the embarrassing result. You were lovely while you lasted, Republic.

[Featured image a screen grab from this awesome Karate Kid highlight reel]

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