By Steven Hsieh / Alternet

According to the NRA, Maya Angelou, Hallmark and the Kansas City Chiefs all hate American freedom.

It’s no secret that the NRA suffers from extreme paranoia, but a massive list of enemies posted on the organization’s site takes crazy to another level. A statement preceding the list describes your typical, gun-stealing boogeyman:

“The following organizations have lent monetary, grassroots or some other type of direct support to anti-gun organizations. In many instances, these organizations lent their name in support of specific campaigns to pass anti-gun legislation such as the March 1995 HCI ‘Campaign to Protect Sane Gun Laws.’ Many of these organizations were listed as “Campaign Partners,” for having pledged to fight any efforts to repeal the Brady Act and the Clinton “assault weapons” ban. All have officially endorsed anti-gun positions.”

Take a look at some of the groups who, according to the NRA, are enemies of freedom:

1. Doctors

Medical-related organizations make up a healthy portion of the NRA’s list. The American Medical Association, American Academy of Pediatrics, Congress of Neurological Surgeons, National Spinal Cord Injury Association and many more groups, for some reason, all support gun control legislation.

One can only imagine doctors’ incentive for restricting guns, though the 47 percent increase in reported gunshot wounds from 2001 to 2011 might be relevant. While advances in medical technology aided a significant drop in homicide rates, doctors are scrambling now, more than ever, to treat victims of gun violence. In 2011 alone, 30,759 people suffered serious gunshot wounds.

2. Poets

In 2010, after 15 people were shot in as many hours in Chicago’s South Side, the poet Maya Angelou had the nerve to suggest that the widespread availability of guns contributes to gun violence:

“I know that the children are being murdered,” Angelou said at St. Sabina Catholic Church. “It’s happening in Chicago. It’s also happening in St. Louis, in New York and Savannah.”

3. Women

Gun nuts claim women need high-power assault rifles to protect themselves from dangerous men. But, statistics tell a different story. As Slate’s Amanda Marcotte reported, “the Harvard Injury Control has found that states with more guns have more female violent deaths.”

It’s no surprise then, that the League of Women Voters of the United States, National Organization for Women, Women`s National Democratic Club and National Council of Negro Women all support legislation that put them in the NRA’s crosshairs.

4. 90s Boy Bands

According to the NRA, Boyz II Men, whose members grew up in Philadelphia, threaten the basis of freedom in America. In December 2012 alone, more than 100 people were shot in Philadelphia.

5. Greeting Card Companies

Hallmark just wants to wish you a happy birthday! Now hand over your guns!

6. Churches

The NRA also hates God. Church of the Brethren, the Congress of National Black Churches, the Evangelical Lutheran Church in America, the National Council of the Churches of Christ in the USA and many more all get a spot on their “enemies” list.

7. Pro Football Teams

Even America’s favorite sport can’t catch a break from the NRA. Apparently, the St. Louis Rams and Kansas City Chiefs are an enemy of gun owners. St. Louis officials reported the second highest rate of child gun deaths in their city between 2006 and 2007. Between 2002 and 2010, Kansas City saw 2,300 people treated in emergency rooms for gun violence.

8. Actors

According to the NRA, the following actors hate freedom: Krista Allen, Alec Baldwin, Kevin Bacon, Drew Barrymore, Albert Brooks, James Brolin, Steve Buscemi, Kate Capshaw, Stockard Channing, George Clooney, Sean Connery, Matt Damon, Danny DeVito, Richard Dreyfus, Jodie Foster, Richard Gere, Dustin Hoffman, Helen Hunt, Diane Keaton, Lisa Kudrow, Rob Lowe, Kyle MacLachlan, Mary Tyler Moore, Sarah Jessica Parker, Dennis Quaid, Julia Roberts, Tim Roth, Meg Ryan, Meryl Streep, Trudie Styler, Uma Thurman, Joanne Woodward, and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Oh, and Sylvester Stalone.

9. CEOs

The NRA lists the CEOs, addresses and phone numbers of dozens of corporations that support gun control. Among them are ice cream pioneers Ben and Jerry’s, the cell phone provider Sprint and celebrated jean company Levi Strauss.

10. Interior Designers

Who the hell is Margaret Kemp, and why does she scare the NRA? Ah, the impenetrable mysteries of paranoid.

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