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Local Kiwi-Australian, Sonny Napa-Sheck (33) only returned home from his grandmother’s 70th in New Zealand a day ago, and already he’s bored shitless.

From midnight on Sunday the 15th March, everyone entering Australia from overseas, except for flight attendants and residents of the Pacific Islands, have been required to self-isolate for 14 days upon arrival. Failing to do so risks thousands in fines – and in some states, jail time.

With 14 days in self-isolation ahead of him, Sonny is now very well accustomed to the type of work out regimes that might be popular in prison.

On top of all the jumping jacks and burpees, he’s also been googling the best ways to take part in video gaming – an extremely childish habit he had previously swore he’d never have anything to do with.

But with the government placing him in mandatory lock-down in his Betoota Ponds townhouse, this popular RSL bistro manager exploring many different compromises.

Namely, the horrifying idea that he won’t be able to get his fade tuned up for over two weeks.

“Awww shit” says Sonny.

“Honest. I thought the lack of sunlight and woodstock bourbon was going to do my head in first…”

“But if I can’t get down to the barber in the next few days I’m gonna be packing a sad bro”

Sonny says that letting his finely razored fade grow out like some sort of sheep chasing South Island country boy is going to be an unprecedented departure from his day to day life.

“Even in lockdown, ya gotta look skuxx. The missus is already getting stuck into me about my 2005 Jeremy Paul mop”

“Fuck this virus, bro”