A 49-year old New York man and General Electric employee was arraigned today in Albany, as he is being accused of a terror plot that would have reportedly targeted Muslims and “enemies of the United States”. But Glendon Scott Crawford is no ordinary (alleged) terrorist, and his idea – if he could ever get around to finishing it – would have had us all trembling at the very mention of his name. That idea? A radiation death ray that would kill his enemies “while they slept”.

Fortunately, the FBI was on to Crawford and his alleged accomplice, Eric J. Feight, as undercover agents pretended to be sources of radioactive material that Crawford could have used once his death ray was completed. So how exactly does a radiation death ray work?

The device was intended to be a truck-mounted radiation particle weapon that could be remotely controlled and capable of silently aiming a lethal beam of radioactivity at its human targets. The concept was that victims would eventually die from radiation sickness. Glendon Scott Crawford, 49, of Galway, is accused in a federal complaint of developing “a radiation emitting device that could be placed in the back of a van to covertly emit ionizing radiation strong enough to bring about radiation sickness or death against Crawford’s enemies,” states the complaint attributed to an FBI agent. (Via the Albany Times Union)

While Crawford hadn’t even completed his weapon when he was arrested yesterday, he had already hit the streets to find some potential clients who might need their enemies irradiated. Specifically, the FBI believes that he was trying to sell the weapon to Jewish groups and the Ku Klux Klan (he claimed to be a member), because he was basically cold-calling local synagogues.

The investigation broke open in April 2012 when Crawford allegedly went into an Albany-area synagogue and “asked to speak with a person who might be willing to help him with a type of technology that could be used by Israel to defeat its enemies, specifically, by killing Israel’s enemies while they slept,” the complaint says. He referred to Muslims and enemies of the United States as “medical waste,” according to court records. … Rabbi Matthew Cutler of Congregation Gates of Heaven in Schenectady said a “strange man” came to their synagogue in April 2012 and began discussing a device he developed that would protect the Jewish people, though he did not specify what it was. Cutler said that when they told the man they were not interested, he asked for suggestions on what he could do with his creation and employees told him to contact the Jewish Federation of Northeastern New York. “They had a hard time getting rid of him,” Cutler said. “He had this device, this plan on what to do.”

I just love the idea of the rabbi telling Crawford, “You know, I don’t think we’re looking to purchase a portable death ray right now, but you know who might? My buddies upstate. Tell ‘em Matt sent you.”

Both Crawford and Feight face up to 15 years in federal prison, and that will give them plenty of time to imagine this as their alternate newspaper headline.

(Banner via Shutterstock, newspaper via)