NB: Independent of the actual rating, practically every album from 15 and down to 12 is worth its standard price (of course, if it is not inflated - it's a different thing that I don't think $18 should be considered "standard price" for any CD). Also note that ratings might be afflicted by the exceptional quality of some of the songs (a particularly great song on an otherwise dull album might give it a point more, while an unbelievingly filthy piece of 'music' on an otherwise decent album might seriously damage its rating). This means that the general comments on ratings might sometimes not fit in with my general assessment of a particular record. But usually, it does work. For more detailed explanations of the ratings system (but first make sure you really need one!), check this: The Ratings System: A Moronically Detailed Explanation. Number of albums reviewed in the regular section: 2128

15: Never To Be Topped

[15 albums]

Go and buy this now. These are superalbums by the few really great and timeless masters of rock: the cream of the cream of the cream. These records set the highest standard for all those that follow them and they probably won't be superated by anybody, not in the nearest couple thousand years. And yes, maybe I'm a fool for giving the highest mark to five Beatles' albums in a row, but fifteen years of Beatle-listening haven't cured me of the attitude.

14: Immaculately Ideal

[36 albums]

A major album. Nearly every one of these records either introduced a universally new type of sound or helped 'define the era'. All of them are milestones in the band's own history, and deservedly so: the level of songwriting is at an all-time high. If there are one or two slightly less captivating tracks on the album, they are entirely overshadowed by the splendour of the glorious majority. Not as proverbially 'perfect' as the 15-point albums, maybe, but an absolute must for any music lover with even a passing interest in classic rock.

13: Close To Perfection

[148 albums]

There are a couple weak tracks on here - either a result of the band's lack of experience in the studio (The Who Sings My Generation), or they might be a little longer than necessary, or anything else. Another case is that the record might sound slightly monotonous, with brilliant songs which resemble each other too closely and don't feed your ear properly - not on first listen, at least. But, apart from these minor problems, all of these records are just as enjoyable as any 14-point record. Pay no attention to the five - ten percent of filler and prepare yourself for a rewarding musical journey.

12: Simply Excellent

[388 albums]

This is 'your average great album' - that is, a record that cannot be called neither a 'chef-d'oeuvre' nor a 'routine album'. The songs may lack the inescapable thrill of the better records, but they're nevertheless all melodic and catchy, usually well-produced and guaranteed to give you a good time. There's usually little or no filler, but the 'milestone' factor is not there, if you know what I mean. Usually it's just a fairly notorious band/artist at a solid stage in his/her/their career, with a respectable studio/live effort. Far from being 'lightweight', but not an album one can really pray upon.

11: Just Very Good

[519 albums]

The last group of albums which you can enjoy freely, with little or no effort. Not a 'classic' or 'milestone' by any means, all of them are eminently listenable. You might see that this group includes the biggest selection of Bob Dylan and Neil Young albums, and it's understandable: this is the type of 'user-friendly', but not 'ground-breaking' record. There's enough catchy tunes which you can sing along or play air guitar to, the boring stuff is rare and the crap level is either low or, again, you just forget about the crap because it's overshadowed by the good material. A couple of tracks might even be friggin' great. However, all of this never goes far beyond 'cute': if spiritual uplift and catharsys is what you're looking for, go to the higher ratings.

10: Good, But Flawed

[483 albums]

This is where the filler slowly starts to take over - it was possible not to notice it before, but on here it can't but remind you of its existence. These albums are still 'good' rather than 'bad', but their listenability, at least, the listenability of a large chunk of their material, starts to fall under question. This is usually due either to an unreasonable amount of filler (Yellow Submarine), or to a confused state of affairs at the time (Waiting For The Sun), or, well, to a lack of songwriting skills. Proceed along these records with care, trying not to despise them for all their faults by emphasizing their good sides. There's still very much to laud about them, usually. And, who knows? you might even be able to uncover a hidden gem now and then.

9: Somewhat Mediocre

[277 albums]

This is where you should feel free to stop forking out your money if you're not a hardcore fan. It's the first group of records that find their way onto my CD player maybe once in a couple of months. The amount of filler is at a very dangerous level, so that the good sections do not always compensate. This group even includes low points for the 5-star bands (the Stones, the Who); what can be said about bands of lesser stature? Lengthy uninspired jams, disco perversions, failed experiments with song structure, straightforward dumb lyrics and modern production 'values' all infest these records, which are often only saved by the bell with some decent songwriting and good performances. Or it can be vice versa - with none of the evils listed above, but with utterly derivative and routine songwriting. Still, repeated listenings may help you digest this, and, after all, this is only the beginning of the 'bad' section.

8: Almost Below Average

[132 albums]

This is the 'really close to bad' album. The songs are for the most part totally insipid, sometimes even atrocious. Only a real diehard could enjoy such a record in its entirety. However, even fans often have to admit that these records do not make them proud of their idols. What usually saves them from being a total disaster is a) a decent level of performance, musicianship and production and b) a couple of gems that seem to have gotten on here almost by accident. But there they are, and help to save the record from facing the depths of humiliation.

7: Plain Bad

[56 albums]

The only thing that redeems this kind of records is one or two really catchy numbers that manage to get it to your head so that if you're in a good mood you can even associate the whole album with these ditties. For the most part, these albums are 'failed experiments', with a band trying out an idea or a style that isn't too familiar to them and relinquishing it soon afterwards (A, Stonedhenge). Or it's a band in its final stage of falling apart (The Visitors). Or something like that. Buyer beware.

6-5: Truly Offensive

[53 albums]

This ain't bad, it's 'urrible, plain and simple. Usually more 'failed experiments', but with even worse results: electronic monsters (Under Wraps, Press To Play), gospel hogwash (Saved), lame country-western (Mardi Gras) and heavy metal (Rock Island) imitations. Or, as usual, a band just coming in (Waterloo, Mr Wonderful) or going out (Positive Vibrations, Roots To Branches). Anyway, only a scholar or a systematic completist needs any of these records. I'm surprised they're still around and available on CD. Any artist should be ashamed of this tripe.

4-3: Atrocious Beyond All Imagination

[9 albums]

It's hard to imagine anything worse than the previous group of records, but I've reserved this section for the 'etalonic monstruous records'. If you can afford a little joke now and then, buy these (there's but eight currently) just to find out what a truly hideous record really is (of course, there's a lot of lesser bands with even worse records, but I'm speaking here of hideous records made by notorious bands/artists, which makes it all the more exciting). I won't diss these records here; you might find out the true reasons of their disgrace in the actual review pages, just by clicking on the album title. See ya.

Unrated: Enigmata

[12 albums]