Definitive proof

As a connoisseur of wingnut craziness, I was very pleased to discover the excellent website called Conservative Fact Check, a right wing attempt to do for fact-checking what Unskewed Polls did for legitimate surveys — completely reinvent reality itself!

This stubborn refusal to bow to the demands of logic and rationality often leads, of course, to exceptional inadvertent comedy; for example, CFC’s Definitive Proof of Politifact’s Bias!

Their clever method to prove that Politifact is a liberal propaganda outfit: they took all of Politifact’s “Pants on Fire” ratings for a list of politicians, and … added them up! See? They used mathematics here!

And they produced this definitive chart to demonstrate their definitive proof.

There you have it! And to make the bias even more definitively proven, here’s the Conservative Fact Check methodology:

We assembled this chart by sorting PolitiFact’s complete list of “Pants On Fire” rulings. We filtered out any rulings of chain email or anonymous Facebook posts (although these were virtually all conservative viewpoints), as well as politicians or organizations who had only one “Pants On Fire” ruling (but again, even these were mostly conservatives). The results are, sadly, not surprising. But the situation is grave. PolitiFact (and other supposedly unbiased fact-checking sites) paint Mitt Romney as a serial liar. They also unfairly tarnish Michele Bachmann as a liar, when anybody who follows her already understands that many of her statements aren’t meant to be truthful in the first place — she simply says what she feels. … To have any semblance of fairness, PolitiFact should play it 50/50 and present an equal number of lies from both sides. They clearly are not concerned with any pretense.

I know, you’re probably thinking this has to be a spoof, right? They must have at least considered the possibility that the reason why their definitive chart shows conservatives lying more than liberals is because … they actually lie more?

But no! Conservative Fact Check is honestly, sincerely this hilarious. What does “reality” mean to a wingnut true believer, after all?

For the definitive answer, here’s their About CFC statement:

CFC is dedicated to providing a conservative alternative to enormously liberal-biased fact checking sites like snopes.com, factcheck.org, and politifact.com. It’s a familiar scenario: you receive a particularly juicy story about Obama in email and forward it to your friends. Then, somebody on your mailing list tries to ruin the fun by sending you a link from Snopes which declares your story to be false. What do you do if you know it’s true? Send them to CFC, of course! It’s going to take some time, but our goal is to offer a rebuttal to all the so-called fact checking site “facts” that matter.

You know those deranged racist conspiracy theories your Fox News-watching Uncle Walter is always emailing you? Why let liberals ruin the fun with their socialist “debunking” tricks? Those emails are only as true as you want them to be!

One of the founders of this fine website calls himself “Techdude:”

“Techdude”, Technical Editor Accomplished computer expert “techdude” has an A.A.S. in Network Technology and Security from Inver Hills Community College. He specializes in detecting document and photo forgeries.

Could this be the very same “Techdude” who worked with Birther loon Pamela Geller to analyze the pixels in President Obama’s birth certificate, producing the hilarious “heat map analysis” we featured previously at LGF, definitively proving that Barack Obama is a sekrit commie Muslim impostor?

Yes, it has to be the same one. Most excellent!