Sitcom escape:

Premise:

You return home and as you enter the apartment you hear the annoying “Cheering” sound effect like it came directly from a sitcom. Then you are trapped in your apartment and trapped in this sitcom. The only way out? Get the show canceled. With a little help of your roommate, who wants out just as much as you do.

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*Door opens * Hey I’m back! *Audience Cheering*

Trying out the new stereo system with old sitcom sound effects? *Audience laughter*

Keep the door open? Sorry I shut it already... did you need to get something outside?

Jesus! Are you crying?

I’m sorry! [silently] I’m also not sure what I did. *audience laughter*

[look around quizzically]

It’s not funny faking an emotional breakdown. It’s extra NOT funny if you play canned laughter after it.

What did you…?

Locked in? What the heck? *audience oeh* So you aren’t… aren’t doing that?

Been at this for how long? EIGHT HOURS! What in the *Bleep*.

W-was I just bleeped for saying *Bleep*? What the *Bleep*!

This is getting old really fast….

So you are positive we’re locked in right? I’ll try the door again. *Trying to open locked door*

*keys jangle*

Well it’s locked from the outside. We’re stuck in here with these bumbling idiots who wouldn’t know what a joke was if it was tied to a brick and smashed them in the head *audience laughter* See! [At this point you probably point at the ceiling in anger]

[Annoyed]

This is extremely grating. Do you have any ideas to make this stop?

Ok suicide’s a tad drastic *audience laughter* Shut the *bleep* up you bunch of insensitive shit zwizzlers. [surprise] I’m allowed to say shit zwizzlers but not *bleep* this makes no cum guzzling sense…. *audience laughter*

[Eureka moment]

I have an idea!

No come on hear me out. We could get the sitcom canceled then we can return to our normal lives.

What do sitcoms get canceled for?

Offensive material mostly. You know like ‘Heil Honey I’m home’ [This is an actual thing look it up]

Now what’s offensive enough to get us canceled? Well we could try something extremely sexist although I doubt we’d get canceled over something like calling each other cunt all the time….

Why am I allowed cunt, but not *Bleep*!

Apparently swearing is fine. *audience laughter* So we are going to need to step it up from there. Next on the list, [Sinister voice] violence. *audience laughter*[Angry] Shut the *bleep* up!

Hand me something heavy, please. Remember animal violence is the worst. So here we go.

*window crash, Cat hissing*

I literally dropped that how the *Bleep* did it hit a window…*audience laughter*

Okay *deep breath* that clearly isn’t going to work either.

*slap* [as in face palm]

Of course I can’t say *bleep* because it’s a family show. That means no gory violence on camera and no *bleep*. I mean sexual intercourse.

So unless you want to try luring someone we hate in here and then stand accused of murder.

Yeah I’m suggesting we do the other thing.

I AM suggesting THAT. *audience ooh*

Either that or one of us has to kill someone. Unless you have a good idea?

*Deep breath* Alright let’s do this *zipper goes down and pants go down* *audience laughter*.

Yes, ha, ha. I’m a grower not a shower. [throught teeth] Help me out here.

[Roommate misinterprets and grabs cock]

[Whisper] This isn’t what I had in mind, but keep going this might work. *Audience ooh*

[handjob so interspace the lines with fapping some fapping noises]

Seems that this isn’t working.

You want to go further?... Ok well… that’s… *bleep* it let’s try.

[And onto the old in and out] [Which means it’s time for everyone’s favorite part, Improv to orgasms] [Suggested lines]

Good god I hope this works.

*bleep* this is so good.

Yeah seriously I feel like I'm being constantly watched and it’s creeping me out.

Are we canceled yet!? *audience laughter* That means no doesn’t it?

[Whisper] Say something terrible….

This feels really good despite our situation. Or maybe because of it.

Do you even feel this? *Audience laughter* Shut your jizz fizzling buttmouths!

[orgasm somewhere around here unless you have good puns.]

This show had better be canceled now. *audience woohs* Oh God’s sake.

If full on *bleep* doesn’t get you canceled nowadays, what the hell does?

Yeah but I tried swearing already.