Before we get to the laughs (hopefully), on this anniversary of one of America’s darkest days, let us stand for those who have fallen. As you cheer on your team this Sunday, remember that somewhere across the world a soldier is watching the same game you are, hoping for the same result you are. So raise that first beer to our armed forces, police, fire, and other first responders, and HERE WE GO BROWNIES, HERE WE GO!

Without further ado, here are my quick thoughts and overly optimistic predictions for each game this season:

Week 1 – @ PHI

Never doubt the Browns’ ability to beat redhead QBs in pressure situations. – Win

Week 2 – BAL

We never win two in a row. – Loss

Week 3 – @ MIA

But we usually lose a couple in a row. – Loss

Week 4 – @ WAS

You can’t spell revenge without an R, a G, and three vowels. – Win

Week 5 – NE

I want Roger Goodell in the middle of the Dawg Pound for this one. – Win

Week 6 – @ TEN

I still say Marcus Mariota is overrated. – Win

Week 7 – @ CIN

It’s during daylight, sooo… – Loss

Week 8 – NYJ

Helicopter Part (RGI)II. – Loss

Week 9 – DAL

Romo comes back just to beat us, my fantasy team approves. – Loss

Week 10 – @ BAL

Maybe this year we can figure out how to beat these guys…nope. – Loss

Week 11 – PIT

I would rather be stung by bumblebees than see those throwbacks on my TV. – Loss

Week 12 – NYG

Ah, why not? – Win

Week 13 – Bye

Just in time for the Cody Kessler chatter to begin and someone to fail a drug test.

Week 14 – CIN

We always beat them once! – Win

Week 15 – @ BUF

Which fan base will be more drunk by kickoff? – Tie

Week 16 – SD

Think Bosa will be in uniform yet? – Loss

Week 17 – @ PIT

Just to make me think we have a shot at the playoffs in 2017. – Win

FINAL RECORD: 7-8-1