WALSH

Transfers

Giroud out for Iheanacho ©

GK - Foster again gets a run out. Who knows what West Ham will be capable of at The Hawthorns but since I’m not rotating keepers I’ll find out.

DEF - Feeling marginally better about double United defense this weekend at Watford, Shaw and Valencia start again for me. Any week when I get a United clean with the double will almost guarantee it’s a good one, so hopefully they can stymie Watford. I don’t feel incredible about it after Watford’s destruction of West Ham last weekend but Mou can clean against anyone so hopefully he does do this weekend. Stones gets what will likely be his last game in my side before he fucks off to dickhead land. Cue 4-1 City win with a Bournemouth goal in stoppage time. Life.

MID - Southampton duo Redmond and Tadic go again for me. I am slightly nervous that Tadic does not feature as he starts in Europa League but I have to think that he’s too important to leave out in a home game to Swansea that Soton really must win. Redmond being rested feels good….holding out for mild optimism that Southampton can put a few past Swansea in a big game for them. Gaston is getting his final run out in my squad because I hate him and he sucks. I was looking forward to getting rid of him for Nolito this week but with the press conference news on Giroud, it felt to me that I should keep the nailed on Gaston and make my move in the forward line. Hazard still tits along like a tit.

FWD - Sexy little punt of the season for me with Iheanacho © straight into the side for Le Donq fuck Giroud. As mentioned above Arsene said that Giroud has a toe injury, he probably won’t start, what a nightmare transfer he was. But Kelechi home Bournemouth a week before I wildcard and bring in Kun? That is fun. That is titillating. Ibra only played a few minutes in their EL game so should be rested and ready to roll. I still have bad memories of captaining players at Watford last season although they were a different kettle of fish (Producer Nate’s favorite expression). Finally, Lukaku hopefully will keep it up against Boro…although as ever…it is folly when trying to predict when he will return.

Captain - Kelechi Iheanacho gets the armband. Taking a gamble this week on Kelechi over Lukaku who I would probably have put it on over Ibra given the home fixture. Going to hope Iheanacho fills his boots against one of the worst defenses in the league. Backing City to put up a crooked number and for some puntos from ‘Nacho.

ALON

Transfers

Redmond out for Antonio



GK - Foster is the no brainer here with Jaku vs. Arsenal. Hopefully he racks up a lot of saves because I don’t like anyone to keep a clean vs. the Hammers at the moment.

DEF - Valencia feels ok @ Watford but Capoue will probably score a chested down volley from the corner of the box in the 85th minute because that’s the story of my life this season. I’m forced into Ben Mee this week @ Leicester which might be a good fixture? Might be a bad fixture? It doesn’t feel good, I’m going to just pray. Lastly John Stones home Bourney. I think Walsh’s prediction of 4-1 is perfectly accurate. Probably a Marc Pugh worldy or fucking Lewis Grabban glancing header. Ugh. Die.

MID - I get a new toy with my transfer in of Antonio. Shout out to @getnuice on twitter who said “You just know that Redmond home to Swans will get a brace and the Hammers will get shut out by West Brom next week, right?” And he’s probably right. What can I say I sacrifice for you all. But fuck it I got two price rises out of Antonio and maybe he’ll get me a dong. Alexis makes his second start for me after a fail last GW. I’m hoping he can do things, maybe start up top if Giroud misses out? Hazard picks himself. And lastly Gaston. I have no hope for him vs Everton but he did look really good last week subbing on after his dumb yellow card. Come onnnnn Gastonnnnnnn.

FWD - No changes here life is pretty simple for me up top this week with Ibra ©, dog faced goblin Costa, and Benteke. I’ll be rooting hard for Costa to die this week as I’m a Liverpool supporter but I have to face facts and know that it’s a good fixture for Costa. Actually they all have good fixtures. But I’m terrified of not owning Lukaku again.

Captain - Zlatan with the armband for me. I toyed with Alexis, I toyed with Benteke even, but it’s gotta be Zlatan in my squad. He got mostly rested in Europa league and I like a bounce-back game for United @ Watford who haven’t kept anything close to a clean-sheet yet this season.