I would like to start this article off with saying welcome back to all my readers. Its been a while since I have had the chance to sit down. With the hunting season winding down and the holidays passing, I figured now would be a good time!

With that said I want to be up front and honest. This article was a tough one to write, and even tougher to read. I recently got back from a hunting trip in Georgia. Of course there is a story to tell and I’d like to get it down on paper while its still fresh in my mind.

Starting this blog and the facebook group Boston Bowhunter has easily been one of the most memorable things I have ever participated in when it comes to hunting. In such a short amount of time a lot of great opportunities have come from the start of this and for that I couldn’t be happier. I have had the pleasure of getting to know a few our members on a more personal level and with that comes new doors to open. One of the members Ed Crowley and I touched base throughout the early season on a various amount of subjects in regards to hunting often. Ed showed he was clearly an avid hunter and also had become a big contributor to the growth of Boston Bowhunter. Not only financially by funding the upfront cost of the apparel we make, but a very active group admin/member with a lot of great advice to share with others. Ed is one of the few who has the opportunity every year to hunt multiple locations around the United States. He was kind enough to ask me to come along on a DIY hunt in Georgia on a private 900 acre farm he leases/manages with a few other people. At first I turned the offer down, as I didn’t have the finances with a newborn and the holidays right around the corner. I just didn’t see how that would be possible. But again Ed offered and explained that I would be his guest on the farm and that all expenses would be paid including flight and license ILO of some work on an upcoming project! I have to say I was on cloud nine as this season has been tough, in more ways then one.

I initially came into the hunting season pretty confident with all the pictures I was getting from the trail cams on my property and the deer were pretty consistent. Even the first week of archery had deer showing their faces on camera. As we all know it doesn’t take long for things to change, and the deer you might be seeing for months consistently have either disappeared, or gone nocturnal. To make matters worse I had almost all my gear stolen from my own private property mid-season , so this kind of offer was a gift from the gods.

After working out the logistics and a schedule we both could work with the date was set. We were to head out for a long weekend hunt December 11th through the 15th. I remember when the day came and Ed and I were sitting at the airport. I was riding on an adrenaline high of just being there in the moment, prepping for our flight and what was to come. To increase the level of excitement Ed brought his monster 160″ Canadian buck rack he just shot a few weeks earlier along for the car ride to the airport for me to drool over!

We touched down in Atlanta around 8 or so but we still had a solid 2 hour ride to Washington, Georgia. Once we got our luggage and our rental car we tossed it in the trunk and took off in a Hyundai Santa Fe. I have to say it was pretty funny watching the car attendants pull up in this small pumpkin colored SUV (SUV used very lightly here) considering we were booked for a larger SUV. I could tell Ed was pissed and I was sitting there amused, watching him argue with the Customer Service people about the bait and switch tactic they had just pulled on us. In the end we lost that battle but I didn’t care, I was just glad to be there. A few minutes into our drive Ed got a phone call from one of the other members of the lease, Jerry. Jerry is a Wildlife Biologist, Forester and of course outdoorsman with over 40 years experience. They chatted for about 45 mins about our game plan and what he wanted to accomplish while we were down here. Our plan was to help cull the does that were overpopulating the property and if I was lucky enough, shoot one of the nice bucks Ed had mentioned were running around as well. It was like music to my ears.

Ed had told me stories of his past times here, and how on a good day seeing 15 deer wasn’t out of the ordinary! We easily saw almost a hundred deer on our drive that night. Finally after a long day of traveling we got to our room at about 11:30 and hit the hay. Tomorrow was going to be a good day.

5am came early on the first morning. We threw our clothes in Ed’s newest toy, the Scentcrusher Ozone bag. Super cool product perfect for this hot weather. Showered, got dressed and grabbed a quick bite to eat. On the ride over we talked about what stands we wanted to sit first and then maybe what we would do for our afternoon stand situation. Pulling up to a dirt road with a locked gate I hopped out and unlocked it for Ed to pull in then we drove about 200 yards or so to an old logging deck. Stepping into the red Georgia clay, I slipped into my harness. It was a nice feeling breathing in the warm fresh air, not having to worry about wearing any kind of layering system in 70 degree weather! That was already a plus in my eyes and I thought to myself as I smiled, “Welcome to the South”. Ready to go Ed led the way to my morning stand. As we hiked down the trail I was amped with excitement. We marked the trail with bright eyes on the way down for future walks in and it didn’t take long, maybe about 10 minutes to get there. I got into my stand, setup shop and settled in as I waited for my introduction to Georgia hunting to begin. I remember thinking to myself in disbelief how I was thousands of miles away from my family and how although I missed them , I was doing something I loved to do.

First light came up quick with an overcast sky making its way into the morning. Not 15 minutes after settling I could see something moving off in the distance. Still unsure of what it was because of the darkness and thick brush I waited till it got closer. As it always happens with deer, out of nowhere 2 average sized does were walking in along the river. What a great feeling to see action that quick. Looks like things were already off to a great start! I let them do their thing and browse a little as they came into the picture I was looking for a good shooting lane. As I sat there and watched them I was learning at the same time. They had a nice little system going. One shifted their head towards me and the other would feed and look the other way, then after a minute or two the first one would look away and the other would shift its head towards me and lower its head to feed. So simple but so clever at the same time, watching each others backs. The brush was thick and couldn’t see more then 25-30 yards at most. That wasn’t going to stop me though. Looking back I didn’t range the shot before drawing my bow. I had ranged some spots at first light but not that area. My best guess seemed to be right on though. I could see where the leader was headed and waited until she approached a good size sappling and her head went behind it. That was my chance.

Quartering away, I drew back and placed my pin right behind her shoulder blades and pulled the trigger. WHACK. Face planting into the dirt she took off with my arrow at least 6 inches deep in her. What a feeling to stick a deer that early in the hunt and even at all after barely seeing anything back home all season I was ecstatic to say the least. Composing myself I remembered our talk and we were to stick to the plan and keep hunting even if one was down. After about 4 hours passed I didn’t see much. A nice doe came in behind me across the river but she winded me and took off before I even had the chance to do anything. I didn’t care, in my mind I was very confident in my shot and had meat in the freezer already. At about 11:15am I decided it was a good time to get down and start tracking the doe I shot earlier. As I was gathering my stuff at the bottom of the ladder I heard branches and leaves rustling and I thought it was another deer! But it was only Ed coming to pick me up. I dont think either of us realized we had no service out there to communicate until we actually sat in our stands so he had to make the trek to my stand. I told him what had happened and he was excited and ready to help. I got to the other side of the river where I shot her and searched for a good 20 mins around the area for a drop of blood and even an arrow. It didn’t take long for my excitement to fade. We made our way in the direction I saw her headed and found a nice buck scrape and a few rubs but still no sign of my doe. I must have went over the scenario in my head what felt like a million times. At what was most likely an attempt to comfort me, Ed assured me not to worry, we would find her and we pressed on. Much to my dismay, after another hour and a half of searching, zig zagging, following trails for 100’s of yds., we had nothing to show for it. Not a single drop of blood! The adrenaline high I was once feeling was now replaced with a sickness in my stomach. It just didn’t make sense I was sure I made a good shot so why was there no blood?

At some point Ed and I called it quits and headed to lunch. We got back to the Huddle House for some great southern comfort food, and went over everything from where she was standing when I shot her, to placement of the shot on her body, how she ran, and where she took off. It just didn’t add up but Ed said don’t sweat it to much we got 3 more days to hunt. That afternoon we went out but I didn’t see anything. Still I have to admit the sunset view at the “Bulldog” stand overlooking a valley was beautiful and I was grateful.

Next morning rolled around we decided to have me sit the same spot as the previous morning. This time, however, Jerry offered up a little game changer! One phone call later, I had a rifle in my hand and felt confident in what was to come. At first light, like clockwork the same doe that had snuffed me out the day before was about 30 yards out and my heart was racing again. She came in from behind me and didn’t seem to want to move at all from where she was. After about 15 mins of watching I did the best I could to put myself in a position to shoot her without making noise. I am going to just throw a disclaimer in here and tell you I have really only bowhunted in the time that I have been a hunter so a rifle was somewhat new to me. Although I have a gun license and have shot rifles and shotguns in the past I am not marksman by any means, but how hard could it be right?

Well god always finds a way to let us know that we all make mistakes. Crosshairs on the shoulder and a clear shot I pulled the trigger. BOOM she took off and I was pretty surprised she didn’t drop right their at 30 yards from a rifle. Didn’t take long for me to figure I not only completely missed from the recoil but I didn’t take the time to adjust my scope which was set to 9x. I also was shooting behind me and didn’t use the tree as a rest so I was free hand. Ed texted me asking “Was that you?”. Funny that somehow I had service. Contemplating ignoring his text and denying it, I replied “yep I don’t think I hit her”. Ed replied again “don’t worry keep hunting, take your time on the shot.” I have to admit I was pretty embarrassed that I blew a chance at yet another doe and figured my luck had to get better from here.

“But wait there’s more!”..

Ed decided around 10:30 to do a drive towards me and try and push some deer back my way, and began about a 2 mile zig zag along the river bank. And I was to be ready with my rifle. I sat there waiting, gun in hand and ready for whatever was to come my way. This time my scope was not going to be an issue and this time I was not going to fail. I could hear Ed whistling and clapping off somewhere in the distance maybe a few hundred yards away. Seconds later I saw a buck about 100 yards off on the ridge trotting along down into a saddle. I’m guessing he was trying to circle around Ed. I have to say he was no monster but he was a good size 8 basket rack with some decent mass, definitely a shooter. I stopped him at about 30 yards with a loud “MEEEEHP”. He stopped dead in his tracks.

There he was, the sun beaming down on him it almost seems like the stars aligned and I had yet another perfect opportunity presented to me. I thought “This is it”. I was already reminiscing of myself holding that rack in my hand with a nice picture to send to me family. Back to reality, I placed my crosshairs on him, rifle secured into my shoulder. I switched the safety up and pulled the trigger. NOTHING!! I pulled it again. NOTHING again?! Something wasnt right. I cant even begin to explain what was going on in my head at that moment.

Hesitantly, not wanting to take my eyes off the buck, I looked down at the gun. I checked the safety was off and I figured it was jammed so I opened the action to check the bullet and it ejected itself into the air. I felt like everything slowed down as I watched it hit my treestand, making a loud “clink” noise and then dropping to the earth floor. As my heart sank I looked up, he knew I was there. Quickly I slammed the action forward, reloaded and placed my eye back in the scope and he took off. As he took off I tried to line my crosshairs up on him one last time to hit him while he was running, not even realizing I was throwing out all ethics of hunting out the window just to get a shot off. BOOM!! A cloud of smoke surrounded me and at this point I couldn’t even believe what just happened. I had missed and he was gone. Once the smoke cleared and I had calmed down I realized not only did I make a very unethical choice I threw out all reason on an instinctive decision from probably playing video games or who knows what. I have always prided myself on making ethical choices when it comes to shooting or passing on a deer and even then I totally didn’t use my head or even think about the consequences. I was crushed to say the least….

Not long after Ed made it to my stand a few minutes later, short-breathed and sweating, he asked me what happened. Not too excited but I had to tell him anyway, so I explained what happened. I could tell he was extremely frustrated and unhappy at this point, definitely biting his tongue with a few short grunts in between my story. Just seeing the look on his face really was enough to be dissappointed. Man I was beating myself up at this point and just remembered thinking ” I’ve had enough of this. I miss my family and just want to go home”. It was like this day just couldnt possibly get any worse. As frustrated as Ed was that I had missed again, he tried to keep a smile and keep me motivated to keep trying.

We left the woods and went to grab some lunch. Both of us were pretty quiet on our way but eventually Ed broke the silence and said “Well we gotta keep pushing and get back in there. That’s why its called hunting and not shooting.” Meeting back at the Huddle House with Jerry, we sat down and ordered. I already knew this was going to be an interesting lunch. Going over with the guys what I had done wrong and it turns out that maybe the safety was not all the way off even though I saw the red dot that gave me the notion to think it was good to go. As I told the tale of my failed morning, Ed and Jerry had a few good laughs at me, taking a shot with the scope zoomed all the way in at 30 yards, rookie move. I even earned a nice nickname and was dubbed “9x” from there on out. Although the wounds were still fresh and hurt, it still put a smile on my face that we could all still laugh about it to lighten up the situation. They even shared some of their more embarrassing moments hunting that helped me feel a little better. Still at that point I didn’t want to even use a rifle anymore because I just didn’t have the confidence and clearly the experience I needed to take a deer with. We went over a few pointers and reluctantly I took the rifle again that afternoon and sat in the cemetery box blind overlooking an open winter wheat plot but the weather was getting progressively warmer and didn’t see a thing.

The next morning I sat in a new spot called the “Hub” stand which is Ed’s personal stand of choice. Big bottom on edge of a river bank with 4 different trails going through thick woods with food on two sides. Unfortunately the 70 degree temperatures had deer in bed before sunrise. After lunch I went back to the Bulldog Stand overlooking the valley with my bow this time. Ed and Jerry had discussed the action that was being seen consistently on the cams in that area from all the deer during daylight hours so we agreed that was the best stand to sit me on. This was beginning to turn into a “where can we put ole 9x somewhere he can get a deer since he shot up the other side of the property. It wasn’t until last light that a buck came in the corner of my eye and I watched him for another 15 mins as he just looked around and scent checking the area. The wind was playing in my favor but he knew something was off and he just decided today wasn’t the day to come by my stand and he turned back. I saw a small 4 pointer come in and I was ready to take him with my bow. I drew my bow and sat there full draw for about a minute and I said to myself, “What are you doing? Your getting desperate its not worth it.” He just wasn’t close enough. I didn’t even have a great shot with him facing me and I could barely even see anymore as the night sky had taken over. I decided that after all I had done so far an arrow to the chest was not the right move and desperation wasn’t going to get the best of me. So I let him pass and that was that. Our hunt had come to an end. It was a pretty upsetting night. We decided to drown our sorrows at a little family owned Mexican joint. I had a few more drinks than I’d like to admit as I just couldn’t process how I let such a great opportunity slip through my fingers. I couldn’t get it done when it counted the most. Even as I write this I am kicking myself over how much losing those deer meant to me in my heart. We did, however, have the pleasure of meeting a funny little Mexican boy who was the owner of the restaurants son. He was 10 and already working! He cracked us up all night as we emptied a pitcher or two of margaritas!

Jerry, Ed and I had a nice long talk that night. I was eating tag soup for sure and it was hard to swallow. Luckily I was in the south and being on a vacation I did the best I could to enjoy myself. I have to say in between all those tough experiences it was nice to sit down and eat good southern food with great guys. From country fried steak to a slice of pecan pie with vanilla ice cream to sweet tea. They all know how to help warm your heart and rationalize things. I guess thats why they call it “Soul Food”.

God certainly has a funny way of humbling you, throwing in the emotional highs and lows with all types of twists and turns. As much as I failed I succeeded in other aspects. I certainly learned a lot about myself in the passing hours following the missed shots. We all make mistakes and its hard to admit it especially to a public audience but I know after this experience I need to continue to work harder at controlling my impulses and natural instincts when it comes to making an ETHICAL choice, instead of harping on the thought of having no meat in the freezer. I also realized that this age old tradition is a never ending lesson and class is always in session when you step foot in the woods.

We prepare ourselves all year long on multiple areas of our game to be ready for that one moment, where hours and even days of hard work culminates into just a few seconds of opportunity. What doesn’t kill you will only make you stronger and one thing I know is I’ll be back next season and I will be Stronger.Smarter.More Experienced and even Hungrier.