(See the end of the chapter for more notes .)

Asami steps into Korra's life again, determined to find a way to reach her.

Chapter Text

"You know, nobody expects you to bounce back right away. It's only been two weeks - you need time to heal. I want you to know that I'm here for you. If you ever want to talk...or...anything."

The night after Jinora's mastery ceremony, Asami wheeled Korra silently down the hallway towards her bedroom. It had been a long day of rituals, congratulations, and navigating the Avatar away from her vocal, adoring public. Even Asami was just about on the brink of sleep.

The wheelchair was taking its toll on Korra. Hauling herself into and out of it was an effort of sheer will. Asami could tell it was tiring, painful, and above all, it was embarrassing. Korra didn’t want to be useless. And now, worse than that, the Avatar found herself dependent on other people for every aspect of her life.

Korra had become quiet. Asami had returned to a Korra in slightly better spirits, due in part to her getting outside more often. They'd spent a day and a half together now, carefully circling each other in what almost counted as conversation. Korra's mood had lightened, or at least her bitter anger had cooled some. At least Asami could make an effort to reach her without getting bitten in the process. Asami would take what she could get.

Despite how grateful she was to be on speaking terms again, Asami's mind kept wandering back to the ship she'd seen docked against the island. Korra would be leaving for the South Pole tomorrow. Asami was afraid that there hadn't been enough time to prove that she wanted to see this through to the end. What if Korra only remembered her absence? The fact that when things had gotten really hard, Asami's gut reaction had been to escape from it?

Korra's bedroom was dark, save for the lanterns lighting the pathways outside the window. After locking the door behind them, Asami rolled Korra a few inches from the bed, offering her hands. "Ready?" she asked. She gave her most supportive smile.

A few quiet breaths later, Korra reached out and braced herself using Asami for balance. Slowly, she hauled herself up from the seat of her chair. As she put her weight on Asami's right shoulder, Korra stumbled, wincing.

Asami tightened her grip on Korra's arms. "What’s wrong?"

"The chair," Korra muttered. "My back cramps up after a few hours."

They stood motionless for a minute. Korra held her breath, wobbling against Asami's arms. Asami strained to hold them both up, her arms burning at the effort. She waited patiently for Korra to decide if she wanted to return to the chair.

"I can ask Kya or one of the healers to come back."

"No," Korra breathed out, "It’s not that bad, I just-" She rolled her right shoulder experimentally and bit back a yelp.

"If something hurts that badly, you’re supposed to say something." Asami inched them closer to Korra's bed, step by careful step.

Korra was silent as Asami lowered them both to sit on the edge of the bed frame. She slipped out of Asami’s arms and collapsed back onto the mattress with a loud huff. "Everything hurts," Korra whispered. Her voice was tight.

"What do you need?" Asami asked.

"Here…" Still laying back, Korra reached back over her shoulder, and immediately cried out. Her back spasmed.

Asami reached down to straighten Korra's arm. "Careful," she said, "You're going to hurt yourself more like that."

"I can't reach it. It keeps throbbing." Korra frantically squeezed her hand open and closed again, mimicking the muscle. She froze rigidly on the bed, her eyes going glassy before she clamped them shut. "Ow, ow..."

The room fell silent. Neither of them spoke for some time. Korra struggled on the bed to find her breath. Asami watched anxiously, struggling to find the confidence to suggest how she could help.

In the end, Asami decided her own self consciousness was not worth letting Korra suffer. "Let me help, then. Just...turn over. Gently."

It took Korra a few seconds to find the will to move. Asami helped her roll onto her stomach, careful not to make the Avatar put too much weight on her shoulders. They pushed away the pillows to leave a flat soft mattress for Korra to lay on. Asami stared at the back of Korra's dress for what started to feel like too long. Korra's dress opened from the back with a series of soft ties she would have to undo. Asami's hands hovered over the tiny knots.

"Asami?"

She looked up, but Korra rested on the mattress, turned away.

"I...I need to open the back to get to your shoulder." Asami watched the back of Korra's head for a long silent moment.

Without a word, Korra nodded gently.

Asami's fingers rested on the first tie. Slowly pulling the threads apart as if going slower would somehow make the effort seem more casual. She got to the second tie after a mental ice age. Korra had stopped wearing her bindings; it was too much effort to wrap and unwrap them with another person needing to do most of the work. Asami had hoped that it would ease some of the strain on Korra's back. With each tie loosened, more bare skin opened to her. Asami quickly undid the rest of the ties, and she slipped Korra’s arms out of the open top and let it rest on the bed beneath her body.

Her eyes scanned Korra’s exposed back as she lay there quietly. Broad, toned back muscles were riddled with vicious pale scars. The healing was still in process, and it would take more sessions for any of the marks to fade fully. Worse were her shoulders and back, blotched with dull bruises where she'd continued leaning into the chair. They were older, and shouldn't cause much pain if they were pressed, but Asami made a mental note all the same.

"Just breathe. I’ll be back, alright?" She encouraged her to lift her arms above her head on the mattress. "Is that any better?" she asked.

Korra nodded, murmuring into her pillow something that sounded like a 'yes'. She pushed back long dark hair that had draped over her eyes. Asami had undone the bun and taken out the pins hours ago, when Korra had grown weary of being dolled up for a crowd.

Asami shuffled off into the bathroom for a few minutes and returned with a basin of hot water and a few towels draped over her shoulder. The water was far too hot right now, but if she let it settle, she hoped it would be a soothing heat by the time she needed it. She set the heavy basin and towels on the dresser top. Removing her jacket and hiking up her shirt sleeves, Asami turned back to the bed.

Korra’s nightstand was a clutter of oil and salve bottles: The remnants of a dozen or more attempts to ease the constant aching that seemed to travel down to the Avatar's very bones. Asami could see plainly that she felt every ache, every wound that the Red Lotus had dealt her, even if they were no longer visible. The poison had stripped her raw.

Asami knelt up on the mattress and settled beside Korra's back. "Where does it hurt the most?" she asked. She took a simple, non-medicinal oil and dotted her palms with it.

Korra drew in a breath, reached back, and pointed at a spot along her spine near shoulder blade level. She exhaled sharply, pulling her arm back above her head.

"Easy..." Asami rubbed her palms together to warm the oil and coat her hands. She reached out slowly, her fingertips following the line of Korra's spine but not yet touching. Asami's hands trembled for a long second, her chest tightening.

This was not the first time she'd been near Korra: they sat close while riding Naga, wished each other luck with a hug or a held hand. But this was different. Intimate. For a brief, panicked moment, Asami feared that this wasn't okay. Korra was recovering. She was still wounded, trying to find her right mind. And Asami was getting nervous at the prospect of Korra's body exposed in front of her. Trembling at the thought of touching her. Was this too much?

Lying flat on the mattress, Korra said nothing. Asami couldn't see her face, but Korra had asked her to keep going. She hadn't pulled away.

And this was going to help Korra relax, help her rest. Ease her pain. Asami reminded herself that the nature of Korra's injuries meant getting closer to her. Helping her in personal, exposed moments. Being there in whatever capacity she needed and not shying away.

Testing, Asami let her hands drop to the middle of Korra's back. Shaking fingers connected with cool, smooth skin. The oil on her palms smoothed the way up Korra’s back muscles. Asami followed the path up to the base of her neck and down to her lower back. She traced the streak of oil once more, focusing on where her muscles began and ended. Where they connected and weaved, over and under each other.

Korra’s skin broke out into goosebumps. Asami watched her hands fidget with fistfuls of sheets.

She paused at Korra's shoulder blades. "Is this okay?" she asked softly.

Another long quiet moment passed. Korra nodded, flattening her palms against the bed.

"Tell me if it’s too hard." Asami halved the weight she was putting on her back, letting her fingertips follow the curve of muscles. She traced along the bottom of Korra’s shoulder blade a few times. When Asami risked adding pressure, a knot gave way, rolling against the heel of her palm.

Korra let out a quiet moan into the mattress, and her entire body went slack.

Asami's hands froze at the sound. Her faced flushed. She gave silent thanks for the dim light of the room.

"Are you okay? Was that..."

"Right there." Korra said quickly into the mattress. "Don't worry. It felt good."

Asami ran her thumbs over the same spot again, pressing the muscle till it stretched and flipped beneath her fingers. Korra sighed, gripping the covers above her head.

Asami had attended several of Korra’s healing sessions, and watched what the healers had called ‘therapeutic massage’. It was not meant to relax; the goal was to increased circulation and work out tension from a body that had been wracked from abuse but was technically healed. They often took hours and even left her sore at their most intensive. Nothing about her physical therapy was relaxing. Every second of it was arduous work that took more focus and endurance than Korra could sometimes muster. She needed a respite; a moment or two where she could let herself drift off and ignore the pain, and the work she faced ahead.

Time fell away as Asami fell into a gentle rhythm, forgetting the sensation of her heart beating hard in her chest. She let her hands follow the natural form of Korra’s back, memorizing the peaks and dips along her muscles, learning where she held the most tension, which motions made Korra exhale or flinch. Asami returned to that spot under her shoulder, rolling the muscle. Getting her to make that noise again.

As she rubbed the oil into Korra's skin, the friction from Asami's hands began to build again. Her fingers and her wrists were sore. Asami reluctantly pulled away and stretched, letting Korra rest for a minute.

After a while, Asami headed for the dresser. She dunked a towel into the water, which was now just shy of too hot. Wringing it out, she walked over to Korra and draped the towel out over Korra’s shoulders. The Avatar’s mouth fell open and she breathed out with the heaviest sigh Asami had ever heard. It was encouraging, so she repeated the process until hot towels lined Korra’s exposed body, from the base of her lower back up to her shoulders. She brushed away Korra's hair to rest a final one around the base of her neck.

The heat from the towels was therapeutic in its own way. It would loosen her muscles, provide some much needed pain relief. Asami had had her share of massages in her day, and this had always been her favorite part. Letting the world fall away as you drift in a little bubble of warmth and soft pressure all over.

"I’m going to take these off in a few minutes, alright?"

"Mmhm," Korra mumbled. She sounded half asleep.

Asami rubbed her hands together, working the aching muscles in her own palms and fingers. Her plan seemed to be working. Korra's entire body had melted into the bed. She seemed calm, relaxed. Nearing sleep, as a matter of fact. Asami smiled quietly as she watched Korra's back rise and fall with heavy but peaceful breaths.

The towels went cold eventually, and Asami peeled them off one by one. Korra shivered a bit at the air over her skin, breaking out into bumps again. A thin sheen of sweat mixed with what remained of the oil. The lantern light from the window shone over the curves of her skin.

Taking a quiet inhale, Asami splayed her hands out over Korra’s back again, this time with very little pressure. She let them glide across Korra’s back, down her arms, pausing at Korra's hands to rub gently at her palms, between fingers.

Everything at the healing sessions had a purpose, a focused goal, something Korra had to concentrate on to help the healing process. Even if that concentration was meditative, it left her ragged. Her body and mind were exhausted, doubly so from the effort of trying to recover.

This was not focused in the same way. Asami had stopped seeking muscles. She didn’t want Korra to feel ache or pain. She wanted Korra to feel another person. Human contact was a primal need. It grounded you, calmed you, and even eased physical pain. It was as vital a sensation as a fresh breath of air.

Asami ran her palms around the expanse of Korra's shoulders, down her sides, and back up the center of her back, when she felt Korra's body tremble for an instant. Korra choked back a sound into the bed. Asami pulled away quickly. Oh god, had she hurt her? Korra hadn't said anything, but maybe she was being polite, or maybe she'd been too nervous. Oh god...

"Korra?" Asami lowered herself down beside her and rested her head on the mattress, now a little damp with cool water. She reached out and rested her hand on the top of Korra's head.

Korra turned slowly to meet Asami’s eyes. Thick tears streaked down her cheeks. Asami ran her fingers through Korra's hair, brushing it away from her face.

"Did I hurt you?" She asked, searching Korra's face. "I'm so sorry."

"No." Korra shook her head, swallowing back to keep from sniffling. "It's okay. I'm okay."

Asami realized she'd been holding her breath. She took a knuckle and gently caught a tear from Korra's cheek as it fell. She wiped it away, letting her hand fall between them on the mattress. "That can happen sometimes," she said quietly.

"Yeah?"

Asami nodded. "It's a release," she said, "We don't always get physical contact like that. Sometimes your body just lets go."

Korra forced a breath that sounded like she'd been keeping in for a very long time. "Thank you," she managed out. With a mind of their own, Korra's eyes began drifting closed. She looked exhausted. But, for the first time Asami could recall, it seemed like the pleasant kind of exhausted.

"Do you need anything else?" Asami asked softly.

Korra sucked in air, her eyes blinking open. She had already drifted asleep for a moment. "Are you going home tonight?" She breathed.

Asami watched her in the warm streaks of light from outside. "I can stay, if you want."

Korra nodded, squirming closer to her on the bed. Asami's hand rested between their faces.

"I'll be right here," Asami promised.

She watched Korra drift off again, and soon, Asami joined her.

Asami woke up with a start. The lanterns had gone out at some point, leaving Korra's bedroom lit by the blue moonlight low in the sky. How late was it? She was still in her clothes from the ceremony, curled up on Korra's narrow bed. She felt the Avatar's warmth beside her. Her breathing slow, smooth. At peace.

She moved to rub at her face, and found her hand pinned by something. Her eyes adjusted to the dim light, and found Korra's fingers wrapped around her own.

Asami's breath caught. She closed her eyes, feeling a slight pressure building. She might have begun to cry, if a wave of relief and sleep hadn't overtaken her.

At that moment, Asami would not have moved for the world.