Unless you're part of the fan art community , chances are you don't really think about the implications of Disney characters having sex. Sure, Max from Goof Troop is definite proof that Goofy once stumbled through a series of slapstick events that ended with his erect penis being thrust into a vagina, but way more disturbing is the thought that Ariel has no idea what human sex is, or that Tarzan is almost definitely banging some gorillas.

6 Pinocchio Is Going To Think Erections Are Signs of Dishonesty

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When Pinocchio gets transformed into a "real boy," he's still essentially his old self, only now made out of flesh and bone, like a tiny Westworld robot whose prior roles included "slave" and "donkey." And of course, when he was a puppet, Pinocchio's nose grew whenever he told a lie, clearly meant to shame him into always being honest. At this point in the story, every member of the audience presumably asks themselves the same question:

"What will happen when he gets an erection for the first time?"

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When the most well-adjusted person in your family is the cat, it's time to rethink things.

This phenomenon is confusing enough for boys who've grown up with that anatomy their whole lives. But if you have Pinocchio's understanding of the universe, there's only one conclusion to draw: His lengthening penis is revealing a lie on his part ("But it happens even when I don't speak ... maybe just thinking a lie is enough?"), or some other equally dishonorable behavior his own body is trying to shame him out of.

So, imagine what he will feel when he sees that special girl (or guy -- Pinocchio's sexuality is never explored) for the first time and gets hard. He'll automatically assume he's gone wrong somehow -- are the mere urges a sin, even if not acted upon? Whatever it is, he dare not tell anyone! Society would surely shun him forever.

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Which is pretty much how real puberty works, come to think about it ...

After months or years of this, he'll become repressed and bitter, growing to hate his fleshy body that sometimes throws out the sin indicator for no good reason. He'll wake up some mornings and wonder what shameful thing he must have done or thought in his sleep. Lifelong bitterness and self-loathing seem like the best case scenario, with the alternatives being self-castration or a career as a serial killer.