Words can't describe exactly what this insane Japanese act brings to the stage... but I'll resist the temptation to just post the video, step back and let the “Wtf was that?” comments fly, and instead fill you in on the phenomenon known as Babymetal. This perky teen trio is reportedly the result of a “divine vision” by the band's producer Kobametal (probably not his real name), fusing the social phenomenon of J-pop – complete with bubblegum lyrics, squeaky schoolgirl performers and toy-box color schemes – with thundering cyber-metal riffs and rhythms. Performers Su-Metal, Moametal and Yuimetal (I'm sensing a pattern here), all barely out of junior high, cavort onstage in matching gothic costumes, belting out hits like “Headbangeeeeerrrrr!!!!!” (spelled exactly that way, including the exclamation points) and “Gimme Chocolate!!” (as performed in the video below) while furious blastbeats, crazed samples, shredding solos and pyrotechnics burn up the stage behind them. Before I turn you over to the.