Megatha Christie, commonly known as Meg, is an aspiring adventurer who describes herself as the player's biggest fan. Meg can be found in the player's player-owned port in the south-west corner. Once a week, resetting on Wednesday at approximately 00:00 UTC, Meg will ask the player for advice on how to deal with three situations that she is expecting on her adventures. After hearing some advice, she will teleport out to her adventures.

When Meg returns the following Wednesday, players receive a chatbox message upon logging in: "You receive word that Meg has returned from her latest adventure." The next time a player talks to Meg, she will tell them how well she did and give them a treasure chest, with a reward that depends on the quality of the advice she was given.

The advice that Meg is given acts as a bonus to her skills. It is always best to give the best possible advice from the choices offered; however, even she may fail to have a perfect result regardless of whether she was given the best possible advice to all three questions. Excellent answers only give big boosts to Meg's own skills - if the mission is above her league, she will still fail it, although excellent answers guarantee that the player will be rewarded with at least a medium lamp. Players do not need to meet the skill requirements for player-owned ports to speak with and advise Meg.

Exiting the conversation and offering to Help her again before completing the dialogue forces a player to begin the dialogue again from the beginning, allowing a player to choose different advice to give, but Meg will teleport away after she is answered three times.

During the Mega May event in 2016, players assisted Meg a.k.a. Megatha Christie with her detective agency by investigating cases for her. One case was unlocked each day, and rewards included experience lamps, pets, and an outfit.

During the course of her investigations into various thefts and kidnappings, Meg was herself kidnapped by a dragonkinesque creature. She was used as bait alongside Major Mary Rancour, Linza and Brother Samwell to force the World Guardian to play a series of games designed by Sliske involving the Barrows brothers. Brother Samwell was killed while the others were forced to help the World Guardian defeat the games. During Ahrim's trial, she was possibly tortured, and during Verac's trial, she may have been hurt making a key. During Guthan's trial, she badly impersonated the World Guardian, who was investigating Sliske's secret laboratory. Sliske saw through the guise and, when the World Guardian arrived, beat them and turned Linza into a wight. Meg, alongside Major Rancour and the World Guardian, fled to the surface after the Barrows brothers refused to kill them. She returned back to her post in the player-owned ports afterwards.

The reward comes in the form of a treasure chest that contains two items: a stack of coins and an experience lamp giving experience in a random skill. Players will always receive at least a small experience lamp no matter how poorly Meg did. The lamps are equivalent to those awarded by Treasure Hunter.

The first question will have four answers to select from, while the remaining two questions will have three. The responses available to you depend on your level in the skill being asked about, with the best responses only being available at higher levels. The possible types of answers are excellent, good, bad, neutral or terrible. For some questions there are two possible answers for each type, for a total of ten possible answers per question, and for others there is only one possible choice for each level of answer.

If any of your levels are lower than their base levels, the best possible responses might sometimes not be available. This includes Prayer and Summoning levels that have been drained from maximum.[source needed]



Answers in this table are colour coded as follows:

A suggested method of navigating this table is searching for phrases in the question using the "Find" function ( CTRL + F , or ⌘ + F on Mac).

Question Skill Answer Rating

A friend of mine told me about this rare breed of shark that can walk on land. I’ve decided to go and hunt one down – It’d look great mounted on my wall at home. Erm..do you have any idea how I would go about doing that? Hunter They'll probably use sound to track prey. Excellent

Dance on the ground to attract them. Excellent

Use kebbits as bait Good

I think your friend is pulling your leg, Meg. Good

Dig a moat to trap them Neutral

Stay on rock. They won't swim through that Bad

Dig underground to find them. Bad

You'll need a strong harpoon. Bad

Keep above the ground Terrible

Use fire to trap them in one place. Terrible

After defeating a gang of scurvy seadogs - which I've not done, but am very close to nearly-maybe doing - what's the best way to haul off my loot? Thieving Take the most valuable pieces with you. Excellent

Don't get carried away by greed. Take what you need. Good

Get a big, sturdy bag. Neutral

Throw the loot into the sea for safekeeping. Bad

Ask the seadogs to carry it for you. Terrible

Any general tips on being stealthy? I want to sneak my way past some rather scary looking people. Thieving Keep to the shadows and cover yourself in dark colours. Excellent

Keep to the shadows. Good

Move slowly and carefully. Neutral

Move quickly. Bad

Make yourself stand out, they won't expect that. Terrible

Do you have any advice for dealing with magical traps? Runecrafting Research them carefully Excellent

Try setting them off remotely. Good

Warding spells are your friend. Neutral

Shoot them first. Bad

Just use brute force. Terrible

Have you heard the stories of zombies in Karamja? A terrible curse that turns people into monsters? It's horrible and I'm going to find a way to put a stop to it. I hear tales of an artefact that can cure it - a bag filled with strange magical powder, so I'm going to find it. Any idea of where I should look? Herblore The jungles would be a good place to hide it. Excellent

Look in the caves around Karamja. Excellent

Sneak into the Legends' Guild and see if they know. Good

Investigate sources of magic. Good

Try the villages. Neutral

Ask the local populace. Neutral

Interrogate a broodoo victim. Bad

Interrogate a jogre. Bad

Look in the heart of the volcano. Terrible

Try the broodoo ritual yourself for inspiration. Terrible

I have heard about a great way to improve my connection to the spiritual, something called an... erm... ecto-fungus? Yeah, the ecto-fungus is in Morytania somewhere, and I shall quest to find this ghostly mushroom... thing. Any tips? Prayer I hear it's near Port Phasmatys. Excellent

Work on your agility - it'll help. Excellent

It's called the Ectofuntus, Meg. Good

You'll need bones, pots and buckets. Good

I think you should do more research before going. Neutral

Morytania is dangerous. Be careful. Neutral

Fungus grows in dark damp areas. Bad

Follow the ghasts. They'll lead you there. Bad

Beat up some werewolves. They'll tell you where it is. Terrible

I hear it's in the heart of the vampyre city. Terrible

I have heard stories of strange lobsters that lie deep within the swamps of Morytania. Lobsters that have been twisted by the malevolent forces that reside there. So twisted, that their skin has turned into obsidian blackness. So I'm going to find some. Any suggestions? Cooking They're just burnt lobsters, Meg. Excellent

Someone was trying to trick you, Meg. Excellent

Don't go Meg. They're lies. Good

Were they very crispy? Good

Bring a lobster net. Neutral

Be prepared for disappointment. Neutral

They'll hide in deep ponds. Bad

They'll be near ghasts. Bad

Sure, but first, let me cut your gems for you. Terrible

I hear they taste particularly good. Terrible

I have heard that deep within the swamps of Morytania, there lives a witch with terrible and dark power. So, I'm going to go and steal her book of spells. Any advice? Magic Reconsider. Witches can be unpredictable. Excellent

Make sure you have a strong magic defence. Excellent

Bring some allies for support. Good

Be stealthy; wait till she leaves. Good

Offer to trade for it. Neutral

Ask another witch first. Neutral

Set her house on fire. Bad

Throw rocks at her. Bad

Research life as a toad. Terrible

Poke her with spoons. Witches hate spoons. Terrible

I heard there's a cup that never runs out of water. I was wondering if I could use that to my advantage... if I could find it. Magic Learn the enchantment that makes it work. Excellent

You could help the needy during droughts. Good

It could keep you hydrated in the desert. Neutral

Put it on its side and gradually wear a fortress wall away. Bad

Handy for washing your clothes. Terrible

I may have upset a few people. What's a good way of dealing with an angry mob? Hunter Set a trap beforehand. Excellent

Get yourself the homeground advantage. Good

Get help. Neutral

Rig explosive traps around you. Bad

Take the fight to them. Terrible

I met this really weird guy in Karamja the other day, he kept talking to me about this plant as though it were alive. Weird. However he did introduce me to these bizarre little creatures and a way of hunting them to make potions. I thought it could be useful. Any tips? Herblore Make sure your farming skill is up to scratch. Excellent

Look out for the rare breeds of jadinko. Excellent

Make juju hunter flasks. Good

Bring hunter potions. Good

Set up lots of the traps. Neutral

Wear camouflage. Neutral

Use normal box traps. Bad

Use deadfall traps. Bad

Cut off bits of the vine to snare them. Terrible

That guy's crazy. Just trap the things with fire. Terrible

I might be overreaching a bit with this adventure. See I've heard that there might be a secret dungeon in Morytania, one created by a powerful necromancer and - well - that means there might be dark secrets to uncover. So... I'm going to investigate. Any advice that will help me get back alive? Slayer Necromancy seems to have nasty side effects. Be careful. Excellent

Don't go alone. Excellent

Bring equipment that's good against undead. Good

Keep teleport runes handy. Good

Note what you find in a journal. Neutral

Don't let zombies bite you. Neutral

Drink any potions you find. Bad

Go in secret, so no one can betray you. Bad

If a zombie bites you, bite back. Terrible

If you find anything, cast the biggest spell you can. Terrible

I think I've got a lot better at being stealthy, so I am going to test my skills. I have decided to sneak into the vampyre city and steal something from there. Any suggestions? Thieving Look for a vampyre resistance group. Excellent

Find a good disguise. Excellent

Have a quick escape plan. Good

Vampyres are hard to fool. Good

Reconsider. Vampyres are deadly. Neutral

Create a distraction. Neutral

Keep to the shadows. Bad

Stick to the high ground. Bad

It's dark, so bring a light source. Terrible

Mark yourself with blood. They won't investigate you. Terrible

I want to bind an elemental to serve me. Any ideas? Runecrafting Leave that to the Wizards' Tower. Excellent

Try and bargain with one, rather than bind it. Good

Use the opposite element to control one. Neutral

Force one into submission with violence. Bad

Invoke demonic magic. Terrible

I want to cross terrain faster. What animals are safe to ride? Summoning None that I know of. Excellent

I guess unicorns, if you can tame them. Good

I'd stick to going on foot. Neutral

Bears. Bad

Fire elementals. Terrible

I want to focus on sword fighting. Any pointers? Attack Treat the sword as an extension of your arm. Excellent

Remember - the sword can do more than just stab. Good

Keep the pointy end away from you. Neutral

Throw it at your enemy. Bad

Juggle with them to scare your foe. Terrible

I want to train an animal to help me. What would you recommend? Summoning Dogs are loyal and have great noses. Excellent

Birds have a great range of travel. Good

Ferrets can fit through small gaps. Neutral

Cats are cute. Bad

Bears are cuddly and friendly. Terrible

I was... erm... working on opening doors that, strictly speaking, I don't have the keys for. Can I pick your brain? Thieving Get some good quality lockpicks. Excellent

Locate alternative entrances. Good

Make sure the place is empty first. Neutral

Just kick the door down. Bad

Stand outside and shout 'fire!' Terrible

I was trying to disarm someone at range, but it's tricky. What do I do? Ranged Aim for their arm rather than their hand. Excellent

Use a crossbow for greater accuracy. Good

Try throwing daggers. Neutral

Use a cannon. Bad

Aim for their head. That'll disarm them. Terrible

I was wondering how I fight a pirate with a hook. Attack Keep your distance. Excellent

Carefully - treat the hook as a weapon. Good

Disarm him quickly. Neutral

Put a cork on the hook. Bad

Ignore it. focus on their main weapon. Terrible

I was wondering what the best weapon was for cutting through dense undergrowth. Woodcutting A strong machete. Excellent

A sharp sword. Good

A good knife. Neutral

A bladed whip. Bad

A warhammer. Terrible

I'll need to travel through cave networks. Any advice? Firemaking Get a mining helmet. Excellent

Speak to the dwarves for suggestions. Good

Bring rope. Lots of rope. Neutral

Oil yourself so you can slip through tight spaces. Bad

Dive straight in. Terrible

I'm trying to enchant my sword with runes, but it doesn't seem to work. ...? Runecrafting Enchanting doesn't work that way. Excellent

You'll need an enchantment spell. Good

Go to the Wizards' Tower for help. Neutral

Make a sword out of rune essence. Bad

Eat rune essence so you're in tune with your sword. Terrible

I'm worried about insects. Any ideas of how to protect against them? Hunter Insects don't like smoke. Excellent

When in a tent, cover the gaps with netting. Good

Avoid walking near hives. Neutral

Ignore them. You need to toughen up. Bad

Coat yourself in honey. Terrible

I've been formally challenged to my first duel. Please help! Slayer Scope out the arena first. Excellent

Research your opponent. Good

Check your weapons first. Neutral

Sabotage their weapon beforehand. Bad

Don't turn up. Terrible

I've discovered an ancient temple filled with the undead. How do I kill them? Slayer Bring a group. Excellent

Arm yourself with powerful weapons. Good

Bring food to heal. Neutral

Undead are weak. Just charge in. Bad

Use the Bones to Peaches spell on the skeletons. Terrible

I've found a waterfall I need to scale down. What's the best thing to do? Agility Find a path nearby. Excellent

Scale the cliffside, not the fall. Good

Tie a rope to the top to control your descent. Neutral

Test a raft first. Bad

Close your eyes and hope. Terrible

I've heard rumours of a haunted house. Any thoughts on how I should investigate? Find out why the ghosts are haunting it. Excellent

Talk to an exorcist first. Good

Bring salt. Neutral

Go alone. You'll draw less attention. Bad

Stab the ghosts. Terrible

I've noticed several restless ghosts wandering around Gielinor and I want to help. I've decided I will become an exorcist, setting these spirits free. Erm... don't suppose you have any idea how I do that? Prayer Father Urhney is a skilled exorcist. He can help. Excellent

Try to find out what's keeping the spirits trapped. Excellent

An amulet of ghostspeak would be useful. Good

Give them a proper burial. Good

Salt and holy water. Neutral

Get a priest to help. Neutral

Just ignore them. Bad

Destroy them with magic. Bad

Give them to a demon. Terrible

Bind them to serve you. Terrible

Oh dear. I'm hoping to adventure in Lumbridge, but I'm a little concerned about how to deal with the goblin population. Any pointers? A great adventurer like you must know something! Ranged Distract them with something shiny first. Excellent

Try attacking from a distance. They tend to be melee-based. Excellent

Goblins are fairly weak. Just be brave. Good

Strike quickly, before they can strike you. Good

A quick strike to the stomach often works. Neutral

Make yourself seem intimidating. Neutral

Work on counter-attacks, not attacks. Bad

Throw rocks at them. Bad

They're harmless. Just punch them. Terrible

Just remember to mock Bandos. Terrible

Oh, good Guthix! I-I-I was attacked by... by ROCKS! ROCKS! They just seemed to move of their own accord and went for me. I fought them off, but it was close. I have been told that they're called 'rock crabs'. Do you have advice about them? Slayer Fighting rock crabs is good combat training. Excellent

Their rock forms can be identified, if you're observant. Excellent

Pickaxes are good against them. Good

They have a strong defence. Be careful. Good

Use a dwarf multicannon. Neutral

Take care not to get too injured. Neutral

Disguise yourself as a rock. Bad

Just run away screaming. Bad

They spit fire! Terrible

They're highly poisonous. FLEE, MEG! Terrible

Oh, I discovered a terrible thing on my travels to Morytania. There are people who are not what they seem. One moment they are normal humans, but the next they become huge snarling creatures. I need to know how to deal with them. Any suggestions? Slayer I hear there is a magic weapon that will help. Excellent

Attack from a distance. Excellent

Try diplomacy first. Good

Bring food. They can hit hard. Good

They're scary, but mortal. Neutral

Try and kill them before they change. Neutral

Stamp on their tail. Bad

Swat them on the nose. Bad

Poke them repeatedly; they can't fight if angry. Terrible

Insult their fur. Terrible

Oh, it's awful - those poor people in Morytania, forced to live under the yoke of cruel vampyre masters. I'm going to save as many as I can. I'll slay me some vampyres. Ahh... any idea how I would do that? Slayer Vampyres don't like silver. Excellent

I hear you need a potion to defeat them. Excellent

Be careful. Vampyres are very dangerous. Good

You'll need a special weapon to defeat them. Good

Stake them. Neutral

I think holy water is effective. Neutral

Drag them into sunlight. Bad

Coat your sword in garlic first. Bad

Just stab them. Terrible

Fight them bare-handed. Terrible

Oh, while I've got you - I was planning on seeing if I could use a bow and arrow as a sort of grappling hook thing. What do you think? Ranged You'd be better off using a crossbow Excellent

Arrows aren't generally good at holding weight. Good

Use the arrows as footholds instead. Neutral

Aim the arrow at a downward angle. Bad

Use flaming arrows, so they melt into the surface a bit. Terrible

Okay, so a friend of mine told me he's heard rumours of a powerful flail that was wielded by one of Saradomin's generals way back in the God Wars. I'm going to go and quest for it. Do you have any suggestions on where to start? Dungeoneering Be careful. A weapon like that will be guarded. Excellent

Be sure you can trust your friend. Excellent

Saradomin's followers may know something. Good

Ask around. Rumours are occasionally based on truth. Good

Look in ancient ruins. Neutral

It's just a rumour. Neutral

Leave it to me. I'll find it eventually. Bad

It's clearly a lie, Meg. Why bother looking? Bad

Keep buying flails until you get the right one. Terrible

Never liked flails. Too easy to hit yourself. Terrible

Okay, so I have a problem. Um. I set up a series of magical traps and... locked myself out of my own house. Any suggestions? Thieving Study them carefully. It'll come back to you. Excellent

Work backwards. Good

Set them off remotely. Neutral

Just charge through. Bad

Move house. Terrible

Okay, so I heard that I can hunt swamp lizards and use them to breathe fire on my enemies. That sounds really useful. Any ideas on how to catch them? Hunter Watch out for ghasts. Excellent

Look for trees that aren't rotten. Excellent

Don't wear anything flammable. Good

Set several traps to be sure. Good

Wear camouflage. Neutral

Be very quiet to avoid spooking them. Neutral

Box traps might work. Bad

Deadfall traps are good for them. Bad

Stamp on them. Terrible

Douse yourself in oil first. Terrible

Okay, so I wanted to improve my connection to the divine powers and I thought Lumbridge would be a good place to start. Any suggestions? Prayer Ask Father Aereck about a ghost for a good reward. Excellent

The Salvation auras can be useful. Excellent

Imps drop ashes that you can scatter. Good

There are lots of goblins to get bones from. Good

Just buy a bunch of bones from the Grand Exchange. Neutral

Sit in on local sermons. Neutral

Just keep praying. You'll improve it that way. Bad

Duel random people to show your devotion to the gods. Bad

Ignore Lumbridge and go straight to the frost dragons. Terrible

Greater demons drop some nice ashes. You can defeat them, right? Terrible

Okay, so I was speaking to this wise old adventurer in the Poison Arrow pub the other day - scary place and he told me the tale of El Piskay the Demon Fish of the River Lum. So I am going to catch it! Although I'm not so good with water... or fish... or fishing rods... Any advice? Fishing I think you should start smaller, Meg. Excellent

Why not get some help on this one? Excellent

I'm not sure that fish is real, Meg. Good

Be calm and don't panic. Good

Make sure the rod is secure. Neutral

Find out what the right bait is first. Neutral

If you fire several harpoons at once, you won't miss. Bad

Buy the adventurer a drink and bring him along. Bad

Wrestle it into submission. You'll be legendary! Terrible

Dam up the river so it can't escape! Terrible

Okay, so I went to Lumbridge and I noticed the vast wealth difference between the Duke and his subjects and I just thought 'why?'. I mean, it's not like he needs ALL of that wealth. So, I am going to break into the castle and steal from his treasury to give it to the poor locals. Erm... any idea how I would go about doing that? Thieving You might want to have a chat with the Thieves' Guild. Excellent

The castle's fairly open. Scope it out first. Excellent

A disguise is always a good idea. Good

Take the wealth in small batches over time. Good

Plan carefully. Neutral

Go at night, when it's easier to stay unseen. Neutral

Enlist the goblins for help. Bad

Dig under the tower from the swamp. Bad

No subtlety. Attack directly - show them who's boss! Terrible

Borrow a cannon and lay siege to the castle as a distraction. Terrible

Okay, so I'm planning on crossing over White Wolf Mountain, but there are... well, there are wolves there! I don't want to be eaten. Can you help me at all? I really need advice. Ranged Take them out from a distance. Excellent

Run past them and bring food. Excellent

Collect their bones for summoning. Good

Wear strong armour to reduce the danger. Good

You could just teleport past it. Neutral

Travel in a group. Neutral

Go at night, for stealth. Bad

Dig through the mountain. Bad

Remember - wolves always work alone. Terrible

Cover yourself in blood first. That scares them. Terrible

Okay, so I'm taking myself on an adventure to the dangerous town of Lumbridge and I heard about this technique called runecrafting. It sounds like a useful skill to have and so I have made it my mission to investigate! Erm... any ideas what it is and where I should look? Runecrafting Find the Wizard's Tower. They can help. Excellent

Ask the wizards about the Runespan. Excellent

Get yourself a wicked hood. Good

Goblins sometimes drop talismans when slain. Worth a look. Good

You'll need some essence first. Neutral

The air altar can be found east of the River Lum. Neutral

Runecrafting is lame. Magic is for sissies. Bad

Fletching is more useful. Bad

Find runes, then just paint the symbols on rocks. Terrible

Crush runes up and use the dust. Terrible

Okay, so I've been tasked with a dangerous undertaking: the... erm... assassination of a dangerous foe. I have to kill... THE FERRET OF DOOM! A big, burly Fremennik warrior named Thok told me about it. Any hints or tips? Dungeoneering I think you should let Thok overcome his own fears. Excellent

I think its natural enemy is the heim crab. Excellent

Set a trap for it. Good

I suspect it's not as scary as he claims. Good

Sneak up on it from behind. Neutral

Use stealth; stick to the shadows. Neutral

Collapse the dungeon on it. Bad

Go alone; just be quick. Bad

Just tell Thok that he's a big coward. Terrible

Wait it out. Ferrets don't live that long. Terrible

Okay, so I've decided I need to pitch my fighting skills against scarier opponents than chickens. I've decided to test my swordsmanship against the Black Knights. Of course, I would like to come back alive from this, so I wondered if you had any tips. Magic They're weak against magic. Excellent

Bring a White Knight as assistance. Excellent

Keep your nerves steady. Good

You can heal at the Monastery. Good

Make sure you're wearing good armour. Neutral

Bring food to heal. Neutral

Wear black armour to infiltrate them. Bad

Bring a Black Knight as assistance. Bad

Dress in white armour so they don't suspect you. Terrible

Use ranged weapons. They're weak against those. Terrible

Okay, so I've heard rumours of an ancient temple hidden in the Kharazi jungle somewhere. I've decided to investigate to see if I can be the first to uncover it. Don't suppose you have any pointers do you? Woodcutting Bring a machete. The jungle is thick. Excellent

Might want to find someone who's been there before. Excellent

Mark where you've been so you can get back. Good

Arm yourself. The locals might not be friendly. Good

Remember that it's just a rumour, Meg. Neutral

Climb a tree to get a better view of the area. Neutral

If attacked, wave your swords around while screaming. Bad

Flies can be a great source of nutrition. Bad

Ask a monkey. Terrible

Tame a deathwing and survey the area from above. Terrible

Okay, well, thing is... I was hoping to catch something in Lumbridge. Something horrible; something terrifying beyond words. I was hoping to catch... shrimp. Don't laugh - they're horrible things! Slimy and icky... Any tips on how to catch them effectively? Fishing Just remember that they're harmless. Excellent

Use a small fishing net and grab the shrimp quickly. Excellent

Cook them immediately so they don't freak you out. Good

Wear gloves so you don't have to feel them. Good

Just look for the right fishing spots. Neutral

Get a net and shove it in the water. Neutral

Get a fishing rod and be patient. Bad

Just buy them from the Grand Exchange. Bad

Harpoon the shrimp, they'll know who's boss. Terrible

Stick your head in and catch them with your teeth. Terrible

So I've been wanting to work on my fletching skills, but I just can't get enough feathers. The shops won't sell them to me after that nasty incident at the archery competition. It was the wind, I'm sure of it! Anyway, I've discovered these birds that have amazing blue feathers so, how do I catch them? Hunter Set up several traps and be patient. Excellent

Watch for favoured flight patterns. Excellent

Disguise the traps as best you can. Good

Consider putting seeds on the trap. Good

Not really my area of expertise. Neutral

Wear camouflage. Neutral

Shoot them down with an arrow. Bad

Sing at them. Birds love song. Bad

Just whack the birds with a whip. Terrible

Set fire to the trees so they can only land on your trap. Terrible

So, I've been wondering about those little red things... imps, I think they're called. There were a few in Lumbridge and I was going to try my hand at catching one. Got any pointers? Hunter Try baiting the traps with beads. Excellent

Watch out for their teleports. Excellent

Be quiet and keep still. You don't want to spook them. Good

Make sure you're using the right trap. Good

Dress as a Zamorakian monk so they don't suspect you. Neutral

You'll need to use a magic box. Neutral

Shoot at them first. Bad

Throw beads at them to confuse them. Bad

Use a simple box trap. They're cheaper. Terrible

Use holy water on them. They hate it. Terrible

So, I've discovered that between me and my target is an army of the undead. What do I do? Slayer Whittle them down with cannonfire. Excellent

Don't panic. Undead are slow and stupid. Good

Blast them with magic. Neutral

Sneak past them. Bad

Fight them with fists - they're weak to fists. Terrible

So I've heard about this powerful demonic force and I wondered if you had any idea how to stop it. Prayer Most demons can be banished. Find the ritual. Excellent

Look for a binding spell. Good

Be strong in your faith. Neutral

Stabbing it normally works. Bad

Make a bargain with it. Should be fine. Terrible

So I've realised that I can make a little bit of money from polar kebbit fur. I figured I can't get tracking wrong. Except it turns out I can. I was stuck under that log for hours! Don't suppose you have any advice? Hunter Wear polar camouflage. Excellent

Stock up on hunter potions. Excellent

Keep quiet. They're easily spooked. Good

Just keep focused and prepare to lose a few. Good

Wear white clothes to blend in. Neutral

Stand upwind so they can't smell you. Neutral

Blast the burrows with Earth Bolt spells. Bad

Block up all the exits with snow. Bad

Smoke them out with fire. Terrible

Shout loudly to scare them. Terrible

So, I decided I need to improve my mystical knowledge and I said to myself, 'Meg, what better way to do so than to have a nice chat with a demon? Of course, they're big and scary and might try to devour my soul... Still, no pain no gain. Got any advice? Prayer Demons lie, Meg. Don't trust them. Excellent

Make sure you have a powerful wizard with you. Excellent

Whatever you do, don't agree to anything. Good

Be careful. Good

Make sure it's bound properly. Neutral

I think you should reconsider. Neutral

Summon it in a church. Bad

Make sure you summon it in a place of power. Bad

Don't bother with any sort of binding circle. Terrible

Offer it your soul for information. Terrible

So I had this plan to sneak into Varrock castle - you know, for all the treasure... But I'm a little concerned at what I should do if I get caught. Any tips? Thieving Trick the guard. Excellent

Fake illness, then escape. Excellent

Dig a tunnel with a spoon. Good

Hide under the bed. Good

Just don't get caught. Neutral

Remember that it's just a rumour, Meg. Neutral

Knock the guard out. Bad

Kill the guard. Bad

Kill everyone you meet. Terrible

Set fire to the castle. Terrible

So, I have decided that I need to get in touch with my spiritual side. I'm heading into Lumbridge to learn the secrets of the Saradominist church there. You know, the one by the graveyard. Any advice? Prayer Father Aereck is a good man to talk to. Excellent

Talk to Xenia in the nearby graveyard. She is an experienced adventurer. Excellent

Kill some goblins and bury their bones. Good

Be quiet and polite. It is a place of worship, after all. Good

Be sure to go in disguise. Neutral

It's just a church, Meg. You can just go inside. Neutral

Go find Father Urhney instead. He loves company. Bad

Break in through the northern window. Bad

It's secretly a Zamorakian temple. Terrible

Be careful - Father Aereck is clearly a Mahjarrat. Terrible

So I have heard the stories of flesh-eating fish, in the heart of Karamja, that will strip the flesh from your bones in seconds. I'm going to catch me some. Any suggestions? Fishing Use a long rod. Excellent

Don't go in the water. Excellent

Set a trap using meat and a net. Good

Find a way to trap them. Good

Wear sturdy armour. Neutral

Use meat as bait. Neutral

Use fish as bait. Bad

Use fruit as bait. Bad

Wade in and catch them close up. Terrible

Dive in and catch them with your teeth. Terrible

So I may have... accidentally made a pact with a demon. How do I get out of it? Prayer Find a loophole in the contract. Excellent

Bind the demon to your service. Good

Destroy the demon. Neutral

You can't. Bad

Bargain with other demons. Terrible

So, I want to prove that I have what it takes to be an adventurer - you know, to get the job done. I realised that I'm going to need to get my hands dirty and show off my thieving skills. So I figured, what better way than to infiltrate the Thieves' Guild in Lumbridge? What do you think? Any suggestions? Thieving I've heard it's near a furnace. Excellent

Get on Darren Lightfinger's good side first. Excellent

Accept any 'job' offers the guild offers you. Good

Consider the art of disguise. Good

Steal from stalls to get some practice. Neutral

Practice pickpocketing on H.A.M members. They deserve it. Neutral

Remember - don't touch the handkerchiefs. Bad

Ask the guards about where to find them. Bad

Remember to shout at people before you rob them. Terrible

The secret to stealth is to drink a lot of alcohol first. Terrible

So, I was planning on making a canoe and sailing to some of the wilder places downriver. Tell me, what's the best wood to use? Woodcutting Just use one of the trees at the canoe station. Excellent

Try oak - sturdy, and not too expensive. Good

A tree's a tree. Neutral

Cursed magic trees, for extra speed. Bad

Bloodwood trees. You can get to those, right? Terrible

So I was talking to an adventurer friend of mine. Well, 'friend' might be a strong term... 'Adventurer I met once' might be more accurate. Anyway, they were telling me about how useful rune essence is and I realised I could make a tidy profit if I just found another supply of it. Any idea where I might find one? Runecrafting Very special circumstances create rune essence. Look for those. Excellent

Honestly, it's unlikely you'll find one. Excellent

Rune essence absorbs magic. Look for weird side effects. Good

Look for high concentrations of magic. Good

Maybe the Wizards' Tower can help. Neutral

I'd consider a more fruitful quest. Neutral

Just take control of an existing mine. Bad

Give up, Meg. Bad

Just keep saying different words in the teleport spell. Terrible

Randomly teleport around the world. Terrible

So. Okay. So, don't judge me on this, but I've been having a few problems dealing with the... erm... Well, the chickens. I can't seem to defeat the chickens in Lumbridge. I don't suppose you have any advice do you? Slayer Sneak up on them from behind. Excellent

Draw a line in front of their beaks to hypnotise them. Excellent

Try not to show fear Good

Strike quickly. It gets it over with faster. Good

Just stab them. Neutral

Throw a rock at them first. Neutral

Make loud noises to scare them. Bad

Chase them around to tire them out. Bad

Use fire to trap them. Terrible

Summon the Evil Chicken. He'll take care of them. Terrible

Well I was planning on seeing if I could catch me a baby squirrel pet. I heard there were a couple of them around Lumbridge somewhere and I wanted to try my luck. Any advice? Make sure you're good enough at summoning to keep one. Excellent

A squirrel is for life, not just for a whim. Excellent

Nuts. I don't really need to say more. Good

Be careful. They can scratch. Good

Make sure your trap is secure. Neutral

Be patient and use more than one trap. Neutral

Try to catch one with a hawk. Bad

Scare them into submission first. Bad

Deadfall traps work better than nets. Terrible

Pitfall traps are the best way. Terrible

Well, I've been planning an expedition into the heart of the Lumbridge swamps, as a friend of mine told me that he's found a cavern full of something called a 'rune golem'. It only cost me 1000 gold - a bargain! Do you have any tips on how to deal with a rune golem? Dungeoneering Tread carefully. It might be a trap. Excellent

It's never wise to pay money up-front like that. Excellent

You need to find better friends. Good

I think your 'friend' may have tricked you. Good

Bring a light source. Neutral

Scout out the area first. Neutral

Use fire. Golems hate fire. Bad

You're an idiot, Meg. Bad

Fold up your shopping list and put it into the golem's head. Terrible

I'll tell you for 1000 gold... Terrible

What's the best armour to wear while exploring? Defence Something durable, which still allows freedom of movement. Excellent

Something that provides all-round protection. Good

Something comfortable. Neutral

A full suit of chainmail. Bad

A full suit of heavy plate. Terrible

What's the best food to hunt for in the wild? Fishing Fish are generally easy to come by. Excellent

Rabbits are tasty and easy to catch. Good

Fruits and berries. Neutral

Rats are numerous. Bad

Crocodiles. Terrible

What's the best way to take out a sorcerer? Ranged Use a powerful bow to take him out from range. Excellent

Take him out from the shadows. Good

Use a ranged weapon. Neutral

Fight Fire Bolts with Fire bolts. Bad

Run up and punch him in the face . Terrible

Which of the gods is the right one to follow? Prayer Only you can answer that. Excellent

Why follow just one god? Good

Don't follow any. Neutral

Depends on what your favourite colour is. Bad