Things are a lot different when I take my kids there in this age. We get off the train hang out for literally about a minute and leave. The entire feeling and the emotions attached to the place changed and it is safe to say they will never get as much out of the experience that I did at their age.

When I enter the suburbs and look at the city I still see the ghosts of the twin towers and wish they were there. My father would always point to them and say to us "those big ones there are where we are going kids, we're going to stand on the top of the world.". That worked for us and certainly got our attention, there wasn't any fighting over a Gameboy from that point forward. It may not work for all kids but when we saw what we thought was the biggest city in the world and heard that we could travel to the biggest structure we had ever seen it was exciting.

We would pack the whole family in the station wagon and take the four or five hour trip to The Big City because of just how awe inspiring it was. Driving up to a metropolis the size of NYC is an amazing experience, not too long ago a drove through with boys and still to this day I'm always struck by the size and impressive nature of it. The thought that always seems to come to mind is "I didn't know men could build things this big" ;). That hasn't diminished, just changed.

I grew up in the North East region of the U.S.A. in Boston and its suburbs. Going back to the subway in Summerville and taking the train to Fenway park or The Garden was a regular family occurrence, special but normal activity for us. Going to New York City however, was an event that was something we looked forward to for years at a time.

I would like to know who and where you were at the time you heard what was going on and what how it changed you, if it did at all that is. I for one was a teenager and had a severe emotional reaction when I woke up to see one my childhood memories burning on live TV.

This article is more about where I was and how the attack made me feel and behave than which mass murderer is responsible. I'm sure there were many interests acting together and independently and if you want to give your thoughts please do.

I believe we are still sorting out what happened and what the real cause of this awful incident was, only one thing is for sure though, we all changed. I would love to hear about what you all feel really happened.

I just don't feel safe doing the things with them that I did with my own father as sad as it is. Combine that with the huge growth in population that makes things feel all the more claustrophobic and I do not see it as worth the trouble. Why bother putting my family at risk just to fight through crowds and pay an obnoxious price for everything we need?

I know there will be a good amount of people who react to hearing that and say that is what the terrorists wanted and giving into the changed they wanted to force on us. That is true, but I stopped fighting that battle when a few years ago a different terrorist group blew up children at the Boston Marathon. The fact that I took my kids to see a city and rode a subway is enough for me and is the most risk I am going to put up with. I love my kids more than I love hanging around on street corners eating hotdogs and site seeing, plain and simple.

So this is how I feel now, angry that my childhood memories were reduced to smoldering rubble and wondering if trying to give my own kids similar memories is worth the risk. I knew even when I was young that there were taller buildings and plenty of cities to see but that is the point, this was special for us and that is why I wanted to pass on the activity. Should I put emphasis on cultural things like this just to risk seeing my kids crushed when they are blown up?

I'm all done with what the region has to offer and do not want to be a part of the next attack around here. I'm leaving for a place that no one will want to attack because there are not millions of people packed shoulder to shoulder. That's what 9/11 taught me, put the past behind you and move on.

This attitude of mine was hard earned over many years though, when the attack happened I was ready to fight back. I got into shape and was looking to join the army so I could, in my mind, get payback for what was done. I wasn't alone though and the recruitment center in my neighborhood had a huge backlog of other teenage men looking get revenge.

That delay changed my life and the course of everything that made me who I am today. I was getting politically active and hyper patriotic. It wasn't until years later I realized things were not as they appeared.

The first thing that got me to reconsider joining the armed forces had to have been the direction our country went with where we decided to fight. We were all told that a rouge group of militants attacked us and we had to fight them in Afghanistan so that they could not kill any more of us. Sounds good and makes sense, they hit us so we need to wipe them out before another attack takes place. I was able to get behind that at the time but of course the mission changed.

By the time my number came up we were no longer looking for justice for what had been done to us. Instead we seemed to be trying to save the world by blowing up things ourselves and creating a generation of middle eastern men who felt the exact same way I do about things. That may be the only justice we got out the war on terror, men who are angry that the places their father brought them as kids has now been blown up.

I didn't get into the idea of serving to become a part of some world police force and I still do not think burning down half of Iraq makes any sense to this day. It doesn't feel like we looking for Osama Bin Laden in Saddam Husain's back yard garden, it feels like a giant lie.

I took a real look around at how everyone was being effected by the news coming out of the MSM and how easy it was to propagandize even the smartest folk among us. I did not like what I figured out then and got into history, some would say too deeply. I learned about the theory that we sometimes call "problem, reaction, solution." and felt duped. It is safe to say I no longer want to join the army, not because of the military institution, I would show up with my ordinance ready to go if we were ever invaded, but because I don't like feeling used and lied to. If I were guarding a field of poppy plants for the Afghanistan governments opium industry I may go AWOl, or worse. I asked too many questions and the answers I got infuriated me as much as the attack itself.

I don't disparage the military and our troops, do what you would like and I will not judge. I won't be fighting this fight and do not want my kids serving until this is straightened out though. I want to trust that my government isn't lying to us and taking advantage of our faith in them. I want to see some results, as in a return to the age of safety that I grew up in or a country we rebuild actually function on its own without us holding the hand of its leaders. Something that is worth dying for instead of a platitude about it feeling good to spread democracy or some nonsense. I'm not a democrat and probably never will be so why do I care if someone in Syria believes in that ideology? I don't want my kids to get shot over a strangers righto farm goats in Northern Africa for that matter. Seems like everyone we "liberate" turns around and tells us to go to hell for our effort anyway.

So that is how 9/11 makes me feel, how about you? If you are a true and through patriot let me have it, I'll listen in the hopes I can feel better about this. If you want to get some thoughts about what really happened that would help too. If you are not from the US I'd really like to hear the whats and wheres for you on that day, if it had an effect or not.

Thanks for reading, make the most of your day!

Image sourced from

https://www.theclio.com/web/entry?id=20632