Chapter Text

[Location: Michael's House, Bedroom]









Monika's eyes widen and I see her pupils shrink, the fear on her face is plain as day. “K-Killed them...?!” Her voice is quiet, filled with terror.









“It seems you must not remember. So let me remind you.” My voice seeps with venom, I'm not even sure if I have any control over what I'm saying anymore. “First, you toyed with Sayori. Sweet, cheerful... and depressed Sayori. Oh yes, you slowly ramped up her depression until it was too much. You know what you said on the day it happened? 'You really left her hanging this morning, you know?' Oh, how hilarious. Let's all have a round of applause for that well-crafted and tasteless joke.” I pause to clap my hands sarcastically. “Because she hung herself in her room. That was the joke. What a lovely sight to see!”









Monika isn't even looking at me at this point, but I keep going. “Then there was Yuri. You flipped her entire personality on its head, making her lose her mind before she ultimately stabbed herself. Twice. You know how much fun it is to watch someone's lifeless body slowly decay over a weekend? It's really not at all enjoyable. At least Natsuki got off lucky, unless getting erased from existence is more painful when you're alive than actually dying.” I stop and sigh exasperatedly. “And for what? An eternity in some room floating in a space-like void, just you and I? What kind of life is that? You're telling me you'd throw away your friends and everything else just for one person?! I couldn't even interact or do anything but listen to you talk! Okay yeah, I'm a good listener, but when I don't even have the opportunity to fucking speak? Why would I want to spend eternity like that?! I'd sooner just off myself, because at least death is like sleep! God, someone like you doesn't deserve to be loved...”









I take a pause for breath, but before I can keep going, I'm interrupted by a sound I didn't expect to hear. I stop and look at Monika, who is curled up into a ball on the floor, crying. You overdid it, dumbass. I sigh and walk over to her. “I'm sorry... I'm sorry... I'm sorry...” I can hear her faintly saying in between sobs. I kneel down next to her and put a hand on her shoulder; she slowly looks up at me, tears still running down her face.









“Monika, I... I'm sorry. That was too much,” I try my best to calm her down. “I let my negativity pour out, like I usually do when I'm not in control of my emotions.”





“I didn't... I didn't want any of that...” She quivers. “I thought that... they weren't real...”





“They were real, Monika. Not self-aware like you, but... they were still real,” I pause to take a deep breath. “And they were still your friends... weren't they?”





“Yes... Yes, they were...”





“...You know, I made a decision that wasn't easy.” She stops and looks at me, confused. “I deleted you, like you deleted the others. It was the only thing I could think of that gave me any sort of power to change things.”





Monika looks at the floor, dejectedly. “Well, I definitely deserved it, ahaha...” She laughs, but it's not a happy laugh. “Michael... Is that even your name?”





“Well yes, actually. I thought it would be cute or something,” I reply, shrugging lightly.





“...What you said just a couple minutes ago, you were right,” she looks back at me with the most defeated, worn-out expression. “Someone like me doesn't deserve to be loved.”





“Damn it, Monika. I... I didn't mean that,” I sigh. “I get worked up a lot and I say a lot of awful shit. Heh, I'm a terrible person... If anyone doesn't deserve to be loved, it's me.”





“Michael, you're not--” She starts to speak, but I put a finger to her lips.





“Look. It's complicated. I don't think what you did to the other girls was right, but... I do feel bad for you. I can only imagine what it's like for you to feel like you're the only real being in your whole world,” I explain. “But... seeing you right now... You regret it all, don't you?”





Monika nods slowly in response. “I... yes. I regret all the awful things I did to them.”





“Well, that's good enough to me.”





“But... don't you want me to apologize to you as well...?”





“Ha, you already said sorry like three times...” I give her a small grin. “But really, I think the ones you should be apologizing to are the others. Even though they probably don't remember, except maybe Sayori...”





“Then how... how can I apologize if they don't remember?” She looks at me with regret and confusion.





I scratch my chin for a moment. “Hm... I don't really know. Maybe you should just try being a really good friend, and helping them with their issues? Heck, I know I'd certainly want to do that...” I trail off, looking out the window. Monika follows my gaze, noticing what I'm looking at. From my bedroom window, it's possible to see into Sayori's as well. She's sitting happily on her bed, probably singing a song, or something...





“...You really like her, don't you?” Monika breaks the silence.





“...Yeah.”





“W-Well, she was the main character's childhood friend... S-So I can see why...”





“It's not just that. I quickly took a liking to her cheerful attitude and silly antics. I admired her desire to always make people happy. Heh, and I could relate to always being hungry...” I put a hand on my stomach, which is... admittedly bigger than the average person's. “So it was her I picked when I played through the game. She really felt like someone I'd cherish as a close friend. But I'd felt something wasn't quite right, so when she revealed that she had depression...” I stop to take a deep breath. “It hit me. Her happy and cheerful attitude was a mask to hide how she really felt. 'The saddest people smile the brightest,' or however the saying goes... and I could relate to that. I know what depression is like, and I felt terrible that she also had to go through that. When the day of the festival came, and she didn't come outside, I was freaking out. I had a pretty good idea what happened to her, since... well, I've had thoughts like that too.” Monika looks at me with genuine concern. “Even though I was... preparing myself for it, it was still a horrible sight to see. I tried so hard to keep my composure and not burst into tears. I just felt awful, even though I knew that there was nothing I could have done.”

“Michael... I'm sorry. I wish I had never done that...”





“...I want to see that smile be a genuine one,” I remark sadly. “She deserves to be happy...” I turn to Monika. “As do you, Monika.” She looks at me with a surprised expression.





“You... you think I deserve to be happy...?” She questions in disbelief.





“Yeah. You just wanted to get your happy ending... You deserve happiness too.”





“D-Does that mean...?” She looks at me, hopeful.





“...If what you're about to ask is that we start dating or something, I...” I scratch my head. “I'll put it bluntly, I'm terrible at romance. I've never really felt any sort of romantic feelings for anyone. So, while it's not off the table... I feel like it's something that should happen naturally.”





“O-Oh... I see, ahaha...” She looks disappointed.





“Hey, I'd like to get to know you better, anyway. I know you like me, but even if I don't feel the same way towards you, we can still be good friends, right?” I smile at her. “You deserve that, at least.”





“Alright...” Monika slowly smiles back. “I-I think I can accept that.”





“Good, then I suppose we do the ol' formal shaking of hands, or something,” I chuckle, holding out my hand.





“Ahaha~ Well, I can certainly manage that,” she laughs and shakes my hand. She seems happier now, but I don't want her to get her hopes up only to have them crushed...





“Anyhoo, I uh... can't really guarantee you'll exactly keep such a high opinion of me once you learn more about me, though,” I shrug. “As a wise guy once said, reality is often disappointing.”





“I think you're being too hard on yourself, Michael. You did feel bad after... well, you know, lashing out at me, ahaha...” She laughs nervously.





“Well, just saying. I mean, look at me,” I gesture to myself. “Not exactly the pinnacle of 'attractive' or anything.”





“I think you look fine just the way you are,” Monika smiles sweetly. “After all, it would be really boring if you were some perfect hunk with no flaws~!”





“Can't argue with that logic, I suppose,” I smirk. “But anyway... it's probably about dinner time. You hungry? I can see what I can attempt to cook. Emphasis on attempt.”





“Oh, I'd love to stay for dinner! We can get to know each other better while we share a nice meal.”





“I don't know if it'll be as nice as you imagine. I really don't cook besides heating up frozen stuff in the microwave and boiling water for noodles.”





“It's the thought that counts, ahaha~” She giggles. “Besides, you'll have me here if you almost set your house on fire,” she adds with a slight smirk.





“Wow, if that's what you think is gonna happen, I'll just order pizza or something!” I smirk back.





“Oh, can you not meet my expectations?”





“Probably not.”





“...Michael, you were supposed to say that you could totally meet my expectations~!” She laughs.





“What, and embarrass myself? Nice try, Monika, but I'm not falling for that!” I laugh as well.





“Well, I guess pizza it is then. Order me vegetarian though!”





“Ah, not a fan of meat-lovers?” I tease.





“I guess that's one thing you've learned about me already,” Monika smiles, leaning towards me with her hands behind her back.





“Heh, guess so. Normally, I'd be thrifty here, but I'm treating a friend, so how 'bout two pizzas, good ol' pepperoni for me, and a good vegetarian one for you?”





“That sounds good to me! Just make sure you can actually pay for it, you know~”





“...I uh, actually don't know if I have money here, to be totally honest with you. I haven't even seen a wallet that would look as if it belonged to me,” I admit.





“Check the drawers of your desk,” she suggests.





“Good idea,” I reply, looking through desk drawers before something catches my eye. “Found it!” I exclaim, pulling out a wallet and opening it up. Oh thank fuck, that sweet sweet paper we give arbitrary value. “Looks like I've got about... two-hundred bucks?” I comment, looking through the cash. “Wow, that's quite a lot of cash to have on hand.”





“Really?” Monika tilts her head. “That doesn't seem like much at all.”





“Well, I usually don't keep much cash on me, so I'm not used to this sort of sight. But hey, it's enough for a couple pizzas, so who's complaining?” I grin.





“Ahaha, fair enough,” she smiles.





“Alright then, let's get ordering!” I pull out my phone and call the nearest pizza place.