Photo by Bill Ellison

During "Ben's My Friend", Mark Kozelek suffers a litany of indignities that are particularly unflattering for an aging, male musician: after an uneventful day in the studio trying to finish up his new record Benji, he meets up with his girlfriend, buys a $350 pair of lampshades, and eats lunch at an Embarcadero eatery "cluttered with sports bar shit," where his lady points out that he "seems distracted." Not exactly emasculated, but aware all the same, he tells her: "It's a middle-aged thing."

We find out later this "thing" was triggered by his attendance at a Postal Service concert, certainly a situation where he can feel his 46 years of age: not just because the walk up the hill of the Greek Theatre is a tremendous pain in the ass or because he's surrounded by dancing, drunk kids staring at their cell phones, but due to the relationship hinted at in the title. Kozelek first meets Ben Gibbard at a Spanish festival in 2000 where "he was on the small stage then, and I didn't know his name"—the implication being that Red House Painters were a bigger draw than Death Cab For Cutie at the time. Back to the present, where Gibbard's about to play for a crowd of 8,000, whereas Kozelek infamously noted on Among The Leaves' "Sunshine In Chicago" that his personal fanbase is mostly "guys in tennis shoes." Worse yet, people think Gibbard is "20 years younger" than Kozelek (he's actually 37). It gets so bad that Kozelek blows off a planned backstage high-five with his pal and he gives his passes to "a couple of cute Asian girls."

All of which makes "Ben's My Friend" one of the funniest, warmest, and most revealing songs ever written about male friendship, especially the complications that arise in relationships where one guy's more successful. Kozelek admits his "meltdown" was mostly due to his competitiveness getting the better of him, and that "Ben's my friend, and I know he gets it." Gibbard likely won't take offense at how the most danceable, radio-friendly song Kozelek's made under the Sun Kil Moon moniker is punctuated with "The Sound of Settling"-style "ba ba ba"s, either. It might not do much to bridge the popularity gap between the two but, as we find out in the heartwarming ending, a newly inspired Kozelek gets back to the studio ready to put in 12-hour shifts and finally ends up completing his best record to date, and "Ben's My Friend" is the last song on it.