Recovered Nadine Dorries encouraged to self-isolate for another four or five years at least

Nadine Dorries has been told that self-isolating for as long as four or five years is in the National interest and she should get on with it as soon as she can.

Advisors have told the deputy health minister that it is ‘urgent’ that she stays as far away from Westminster, crowds, or indeed anyone at all for the longest time she can manage.

“If she can make it to 2030 or 2040 so much the better,” said Parliamentary Private secretary Sir Simon Williams.

“Ideally we’d like to see the back of her pretty much forever but we understand it’s inevitable she’ll come back sooner or later – we’re just keen to delay that for as long as possible.

“Really, don’t hurry back.

“Oh has she had that Coronavirus? I didn’t know.”