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This dream (of a very specific kind of person) team is working on a movie in which Travolta plays a man who's stalking and trying to destroy the life of an action star. The script was co-written by Durst and inspired by a fan who stalked him, and we're admittedly struggling to think of a villain more terrifying than one based on a man who looked at the pantheon of celebrities and decided that Fred Durst was the one worth obsessing over. It is not yet clear why the movie is called Moose, although we're holding out hope that the stalker is a literal moose voiced by Travolta.

"There certainly is no shortage of amazing Fred Durst stories to tell, but this one in particular is unequivocally cinematic in how it plays out," reads a press release that may one day be reexamined as proof that aliens are trying to communicate with us while not quite grasping human thoughts and feelings. "John's range as an actor will once again be shown off as he steps into a character that Fred is all too familiar with -- making this pairing so exciting," it continues. While we are indeed extremely excited about this film, it may not be for the reasons they hope. The release concludes with "We couldn't be happier," because sometimes the greatest lies are the ones we tell ourselves.

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To be fair, this isn't entirely out of the blue, as Durst, whose greatest hits were about breaking stuff and encouraging his ex-girlfriend to shove a cookie up her ass, previously directed two movies a decade ago. And naturally, they were, uh, a coming-of-age drama and a feel-good movie about the first girl to play quarterback in a children's football tournament.