With 10 candidates on stage and Jake Tapper being bound by law to repeatedly scream “Senator” at intervals of 30 or 60 seconds, the format of the first night of the second round of Democratic debates was never exactly going to offer much in the way of substance. But CNN, being the enterprising cable network that it is, wasn’t about to let that stop it from actively making the night as dumb as humanly possible.

And so the moderators peppered the candidates with questions that were evidently designed to produce bad answers in the short format. Question after question was framed up from the ideological perspective of a Heritage Foundation intern or otherwise crafted as a gotcha to generate a 15-second clip for Republican attack ads down the line.

On the one hand, it was a gross display of cynical political theater that wasted everyone’s time. On the other, congratulations to CNN’s Chris Cillizza on what was undoubtedly a phenomenal night of stunted politics-like content. Here, straight from the screen, are the questions CNN decided America needed to hear.

Translation: Is “Medicare for All” too far left?

Translation: Why do you insist on moving so far left?

Translation: Why do you hate the middle class?

Translation: Why are you a coward?

Translation: Why are you betraying unions?

Translation: What words would you like Donald Trump to quote when he attacks you and immigrants in the same breath?

Translation: Why do you want to flood our country with illegal immigrants?

Translation: Why does Sen. Bernie Sanders want to flood our country with illegal immigrants?

Translation: Is Sanders too far left?

Translation: Are you deceiving the public about the fact that you, like Sanders, are too far left?

Translation: Which candidates do you think are too far left?

Translation: Why is the Green New Deal too far left?

Translation: Is Sanders too far left?

Translation: Would you say the racists have a point, or would you like to call them “deplorable” on camera right now?

Translation: Are you too weak to do wars?

Translation: Are you too weak to do nuclear wars?

Translation: Are you too young, or is Bernie Sanders too old?

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