Thedraftanalyst.com recently released their preseason top-500 list of prospects eligible for the 2017 NHL entry draft. Their list appears to be based on things like "talent" and "potential," but it doesn't seem to take into account the quality of the players' names. As Kronzor and Fulemin reminded us in a heated debate on the merits of Kyler Yeo (who surprisingly did not make the list), name quality is very important. So, here is my preseason top-30 list of the best prospect names for the upcoming draft.

30) Nolan Patrick

We start with the presumed 1st-overall pick of the upcoming draft. His first name is a last name and his last name is a first name. Not too exciting, but it checks a few "WHL name" boxes, and it's still probably the best name for a first-overall pick since Nail Yakupov.

29) Alexander Vdovenko

The only player in this draft class to manage the tricky "Vd" combination. This name lacks the degree of zazz required to climb higher in the top-30, but you have to give it points for difficulty.

28) Mario Mucka

This one is just plain fun to say. Arena PA announcers must love this kid.

27) Tyce Thompson

Younger brother of 2015 draftee Tage Thompson. Tage and Tyce. You do you, Mr. and Mrs. Thompson.

26) Vladislav Kazamanov

This may look like a pretty standard Russian name at first glance, but replace his first name with "The Great" and you've got yourself a solid name for an early-20th century stage magician who is actually from Ohio.

25) MacKenzie Entwistle

His first name is perfectly Canadian; his last name is perfectly British. If I had to guess at his family history, I'd say they first arrived in Canada as loyalists fleeing the American Revolutionary War, and then a later generation took part in the Rebellions of 1837.

24) Gabe Vilardi

Goes by "Gabe," which is very disappointing. Your name is Gabriel Vilardi, dude. Embrace it. Be the romance novel character you were born to be.

23) Patrik Hrehorcak

Voted least likely to ever be pronounced correctly by Don Cherry.

22) Daniel Bukac

Voted most likely to be mispronounced by Don Cherry in a way that results in complaints to the CBSC.

21) Ivan Chekhovich

Challenge: Try to make this name more Russian. Adding a military title to the beginning doesn't count.

20) Lane Zablocki

Loses points for having no unnecessary Y's, but still a quality Alberta name. Also extremely fun to say.

19) Parker Kelly

Elizabeth Wakefield loves her boyfriend Todd. He's smart, popular, and captain of the basketball team! But when she gets paired up on a science project with hunky hockey player Parker Kelly, sparks start to fly. And there's another problem--Parker is Jessica's date to the homecoming dance! Can Elizabeth sort out her feelings before she loses her boyfriend and her twin sister?

18) German Poddubniy

I'm pretty sure German poddubniy is one of those "old country" foods that grandmas make for family dinners. You know, the kind of stuff you take some of to be polite, but then you just spread it around your plate to make it look like you ate some. You're not fooling anyone, by the way. Grandmas can tell.

17) Adam Goodsir

Not to be confused with Adam Gentlesir, who would not be caught within 10km of a hockey game.

16) Aatu Luusuaniemi

Winner of the Tuomo Ruutu Award for Excellence in Having 4 U's In Your Name.

15) Callan Foote

Both a great WHL name and a great former-NHLer's-son name. As an added bonus, "Callan Foote" reads like it could be a malady suffered by peasants in 16th-century England.

14) Jockton Chaney*

If someone told me a story involving a hockey player they know and the hockey player's name was "Jockton," I would assume that person was a) lying, and b) not very creative. But here we are.

13) Gage Ramsey

Gage Ramsey has never played the "porn star name" game because he doesn't have to. His parents played it the day he was born.

12) Buster Larsson

This is apparently not a nickname. The Larssons evidently agreed with me that not enough kids go by "Buster" anymore, and sought to remedy the situation by just straight-up naming their son "Buster." Way to be the change you want to see in the world, Mr. and Mrs. Larsson.

11) Chase Brand

"Chase Brand" is not a person's name. It is the name of a company that makes toilet paper or herbal laxatives or something. Until I see some proof to the contrary, I will assume this is all a promotional stunt by a laxative company. On the off-chance that this is an actual person, I can only assume he chose an agent by seeing which one could go the longest without making a "building your Brand" joke.

10/9) Pavel D. Dyomin / Nikita A. Popugaev

Eliteprospects does not return any other results for Nikita Pougaev or Pavel Dyominin, so the inclusion of their middle initials is apparently not to differentiate them from other players with the same name. This leaves me to conclude that these guys included their middle initials as a bold power move. Middle initials may be common for writers, but for hockey players this is just a baller play. These kids are going places.

8) Sean Dhooghe

Some words just look great in print. "Dhooghe" is one of those words. It isn't quite as good in all-caps (DHOOGHE), which is how it would appear on the back of a hockey jersey, but given the fact that this kid stands 5'2" tall I doubt many of us will ever see that anyway. On the other hand, if his last name is half as much fun to say as it is to read and write, we should all hope he beats the odds.

7) Peyton Hoyt

Winner - Most WHL Name, Non-WHL Division

6/5) Thomas Lust / Evan Fear

"Lust" and "Fear" are phenomenal names on their own. But the real potential lies in the possibility of these guys ending up on the same team, where they could be known as "The Puberty Experience."

4) Kailer Yamamoto

In addition to having an ideal WHL first name, his last name is just a joy to write, read, and say. Imagine how much fun HNIC's Punjabi play-by-play guy will have when this kid scores a big goal. Let's make it happen.

3) Klim Kostin

Runner-up - Most likely to be a character in the Star Wars expanded universe. Probably pilots a Y-Wing or something, gets shot down in the first battle, and is never mentioned again.

2) Sandis Smons

Winner - Most likely to be a character in the Star Wars expanded universe. Spends his offseasons playing in the band at Jabba's palace.

1) Ukko-Pekka Luukkonen

This is the most Finnish name possible. It is the name against which all other names are measured to determine their degree of Finnishness. Add in the fact that this kid is a 6'3" blond goalie, and you might as well add his picture to the national flag.

* Commenter Darkou31 pointed out that "Jockton Chaney" is not the correct name. It is, in fact, "Jocktan Chainey." I apologize for the error. Sure, it's 100% thedraftanalyst.com's fault and I am completely blameless in this matter, but I've never been someone to shift the blame. In the future I will endeavour to get Jocktan Chainey's name correct at least 60% of the time.