A Homeowners Association or HOA is a perfect example of the law of unintended consequences. These are the people who take neighborhood maintenance to a level of petty and anal that is just beyond belief.

The latest stupid HOA trick comes to us from Auburn, California. A condo complex. Like you own your apartment in a four-plex. Yeah, the Auburn Greens No 1 HOA decided to require its residents to keep the garage open every day from 8 am to 4 pm. Yes, you read that correctly. Fox News 40 ran the story here. Why, you might ask? KCRA reports:

The policy, according to a notice taped to residents’ doors, states that people who live in Auburn Greens face “an immediate hearing notice and subjected to a $200 fine” if they do not comply. The notice states the policy was enacted in October. According to board member Norma Brewer, the policy was put in place after it was discovered that a resident was allowing people to live in his or her garage. She would not comment beyond that.

Because there are no police officers or code enforcement folks in Placerville? Oh, wait, they are on the other side of the link Google and I found. And I guess no pest control, lawn service or pool guys work in the area during the day and can see something unusual? Or even your on-site maintenance people? Wait, what? Here is a link to the HOA.

Auburn Greens Unit 1 Homeowners Association is a nice place to live with beautiful trees and landscaped lawns. There is a built in swimming pool maintained by the Association and an on-site manager and maintenance persons to handle the day to day operations of the Association, which includes the concerns of the homeowners and residents.

Yet, instead of these fine people who are paid to “handle day to day operations” doing their job, leave the garage wide open for any random passing stranger to come on in and grab whatever they want. Somehow I have to wonder where the $198 monthly HOA dues go.

A sheet of paper was the cause for concern, a list left earlier in the week by the Auburn Greens Unit 1 Homeowners Association. “I don’t think it’s a good idea because they are going to steal my bike,” Jason said. “I’ve got an electric scooter, I’ve got an electric wheelchair, I’ve got all kinds of stuff. So, I just don’t think it’s very good to have it open.”

The HOA is not smarter than a fourth grader. Nor is the management company or the on-site manager. And the residents who rent or own there are kind of ticked off. KCRA had a few more things to say, though.

Property management company, Eugene Burger Management Corporation, had no comment and referred KCRA 3 to the local district manager. A phone call and email to the district manager was not returned.

This is a great lesson for marketing classes on what not to do.

Well, Google Reviews said it best here.

I was wondering what the shopping hours are for your massive garage sale. Is it from 8 to 4 everyday? Am I limited to how many trips I can make? Also do your streets have a weight limit? I was thinking of bringing a moving van.

The reply? Well, a company called Eugene Burger Management Corporation runs this complex and its HOA. And, of course, they are refusing to speak to reporters. Perhaps this is not the best idea. Then again, they did make larceny and burglary easy, so common sense may be in short supply?

Placer County residents living in Auburn Greens say this new HOA policy is unfair and puts their belongings at risk of being stolen. On-site manager closed the door as we pulled up, and the management company hasn’t returned our messages. Story at 5. pic.twitter.com/0cvuBMsy1W — Max Resnik (@KCRAMax) January 5, 2018

A little advice for the Auburn Gardens property management company and staff? How about this revolutionary concept: stop making slogans and do your job. You are certainly paid to do that. And become a safe and decent property, not a hot mess and burglary training center.