Source: Raffi Asdourian, CC 2.0

Many people feel misunderstood.

Of course, it's possible you like being misunderstood. For example, being a jokester can hide your underlying sadness, which, at least for now, you'd like to keep private.

If you would like to be better understood, sometimes the solution is as simple as to explain yourself. For example, someone who talks fast and interrupts and thus is perceived as impatient might say, "I know I talk fast and interrupt but I really have a lot of patience so take your time. I almost never lose my patience."

But often, the right approach to avoiding being misunderstood depends on the specifics:

You often seem angry. You'd like to be gentle but can't make yourself. Consider the following:

Think of the other person as less capable than you and thus deserving of your sympathy and patience, not your .

Recognize that your anger at them is really anger at yourself.

Recognize you're paying too big a price for your anger.

Develop perspective: How important is this really?

You're but would love to be calm. Would the following help?

Doing work that doesn't you out.

Putting yourself in calm environments: with calm people, in a quiet room, or even just facing your desk to a wall.

Putting yourself in environments in which your hyperactivity causes fewer problems, for example, in solo work.

You appear confident but are quite insecure.

Be aware that your mask of bravura makes people expect more of you. If you choose to be more modest in appearance and interaction style, you'll feel less pressure and be more likely to develop relationships with the countless others who also feel insecure.

If the bases of your insecurity are ameliorable, are you doing enough to try to improve? For example, if it's your appearance, is it time for new clothes, hairstyle, or makeup? If you're about , should you join Toastmasters?

If the bases for your insecurity are tough to improve, for example, , should you move to a job in which your level of intelligence is sufficient?

The "nice" person who is malevolent. Most people who are malevolent don't want to change. Do you? If you might, ask yourself, "Why do you like seeing people unhappy or even making them so?" Usually it stems from a dislike of your life. Can you think of any way to improve your life so you'd take pleasure in making people feel good?

Marty Nemko's bio is in WIkipedia.