12:01 p.m.: I close the Uber app and reopen it, hoping it will trigger the kitten option.

12:02 p.m.: It does not.

12:03-12:06 p.m.: I repeat the above six more times.

12:07 p.m.: Finally, the “Kittens” option pops up, and I immediately click “Request Kitten.”

12:08 p.m.: I receive this screen. All kittens are already snuggling.

12:08-12:14 p.m.: I keep trying.

12:15 p.m.: I reach this screen, which tells me that Garfield is on his way in a Chevrolet Suburban! He is seven minutes away.

12:18 p.m.: I get a call from an “Uber Representative” who inquires whether we have cleared this with our supervisor and have a place to play with the kitten. I say we do.

AD

AD

12:19 p.m.: I ask Beth, who has severe cat allergies, if it will kill her if we bring a kitten up to play in Sadie’s office.

12:20 p.m.: Mike overhears my request and says, “It’s only ONE kitten? I thought it was multiple kittens.” I tell him that he has just voiced the ultimate First-World Problem.

12:21 p.m.: Sadie, Adam and I run down to the lobby where we await our delivery.

12:22 p.m.: A black Suburban pulls up and out pops two people: A man wearing an Uber T-shirt and a woman from the Washington Humane Society carrying a crate of two kittens, both available for adoption. They are not Garfield like we were promised, but at least this will make Mike happy. The Uber representative informs us we are the first kitten delivery of the day.

AD

12:23 p.m.: We lead them to the security guard in the lobby and tell him we have guests that need to be signed in. He is not amused. He asks if we cleared this with our managers, and we say yes. He asks for a name and we give him our supervisor’s. He thinks for a minute and says we need permission from the building owner and operator. No dice.

AD

12:24 p.m.: We plop the cage down over to the side of the lobby and Sadie and I start racking our brains for people we know at 1776 who might let us bring the kittens up to play. Time is running out: We only have 15 minutes with these fur balls.

12:25 p.m.: My one friend I call at 1776 doesn’t answer (he later kicks himself for this) and we decide to simply enjoy the little time we have with them. I message everyone in the office to come down and play with the kittens.

12:37 p.m.: The nice Uber people say it’s time for the kittens to go, and we are all sad. We will miss you Sneezy and Sleepy!