If for some Unsolved Mysteries reason you need a copy, you'll have to outbid a rogue's gallery of lunatics willing to pay hundreds of dollars for them, including one guy who dropped $1,025 on a single Hoof Beat instead of going to community college for a semester.

3 Food Fetish Fan Fiction

RagingSemi, as his name suggests, is the author of nearly a hundred pieces of My Little Pony erotica, because it's not like he was busy penning brilliant exposes for Rolling Stone magazine. He wrote an entire series about the ponies having hot, grease-laden orgies with their human neighbor. We selected the words "hot" and "grease" not to make you crush the 9 and 1 keys into your phone as hard as possible (well, not only that, anyway), but because in RagingSemi's epic boner tales, all of the ponies are made of food.

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For example, here's Onion Ring pony:

"Much of her body has a thick, bronzed beer batter. It looks like it's been nicely seasoned. Her mane is a series of over-lapping onion semicircles and full curls."



Here, maybe charting it will help.

Also, there's Hot Dog pony:

"Ketchup. Yellow mustard. Pickle relish. Diced onion. The works. You're sloppily eating ... making a real mess on your face. You notice her hot dog."