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A domestic violence victim says more should be done to help protect men who are abused by their partners.

The male victim, identified only as Mark, has spoken out about a terrifying seven-year ordeal at the hands of his female partner.

And he has expressed his frustration that recent Welsh Government efforts to combat domestic abuse appear to have focused almost exclusively on female victims.

Related: Another survivor speaks out

Earlier this month AMs unanimously gave their backing to the Violence Against Women bill, which imposes statutory duties on ministers, councils and health boards to work proactively to help tackle domestic abuse.

'Bill is discriminatory'

But Mark said: “It is wrong. The legislation names violence against women and not men, which is discriminatory.

“If Wales wants to be groundbreaking in the fight against domestic abuse they should ballot for a law protecting all genders against domestic abuse. Abuse is not gender-specific.

“While I was encountering this abuse I was working as prison officer, I played rugby and was a proud, outgoing Welshman.

“I was abused daily and I want to be recognised and protected by a country I am very proud of.”

Many victims are male

Last summer a report by the ManKind Initiative – a charity dedicated to helping men in abusive relationships – said almost two in five domestic violence victims were male.

The group also said more than 700,000 men in the UK, as well as 1.1m women, had experienced abuse in the previous year – and men were almost twice as likely not to tell anyone abut their ordeal.

Mark was one of those who put up with an abusive relationship, often being forced to hide injuries he sustained. He remembered: “We do make excuses and it becomes part of you. You live the lie.”

'I just wanted it to stop'

Mark has recalled at length the abuse he suffered during the relationship. He said: “My partner would come home after a night out almost annoyed at the fact the night had ended then would pick on me.

“I was told I was fat, obese, and that I was lucky to have her in my life.

“I would try and sleep but I would be scratched and pinched on my upper arms.

“I’d get up out of bed and try and leave to the other room. I just wanted it to stop, I just wanted to sleep, I just wanted normality, I just wanted it to end, I just wanted to be loved.

'People said I should have walked out'

“I’d have trouble getting past my partner to get to a safe room. She would stand in front of me screaming that I was ugly, a rubbish parent, and a fat pig.

“People say I should have walked out – I was in a good job, I had friends and a nice home and family. But I couldn’t as I was constantly told if I left no one would want me and that I would never see my stepson again.”

Now in his late 40s and married, Mark says he still misses his son and stepson from the abusive relationship, whom he claims he has been prevented from seeing by his ex-partner.

And he has described the moment he finally decided to leave the violence when his partner returned home from a night out and began shouting abuse, despite their young son being present after having been woken up.

'My nose was broken'

He said: “It was like she wanted me to retaliate but I couldn’t – it wasn’t in me. I just tried to calm the situation.

“Time and time again I tried to calm her down to try and de-escalate this horrible situation. Then came the final blow – it caught me in the face. I saw blood and held my face. There was blood running over my work uniform.

“My first thought was ‘I have to be back in work in six hours, what will I say about my uniform?’

“Then came the pain – I felt my nose, which was at an angle. I had broken my nose. I thought, ‘God, I can’t take this’.”

Frustrated

Mark has now contacted the Welsh Government to tell them of his frustration. He explained: “I feel very passionate about what I went through and when my government is going to bring in a law to protect women against abuse I just had to write to them.”

A Welsh Government spokesman said: “Our legislation and advertising campaign places emphasis on violence against women because women and girls suffer the effects of violence disproportionately. We recognise men can also be victims and are therefore covered by the bill.

“The bill acknowledges gender-based violence, domestic abuse and sexual violence can include all kinds of abuse and can occur within all kinds of intimate relationships.

“Our website Live Fear Free includes a section about male victims with a supporting video highlighting one of the biggest challenges facing male victims — admitting there is a problem and finding the courage to talk about it.”