Quokkas are basically rats. They're a poor man's wallaby. I mean, look: They even have rat tails. Yeah, they are always smiling. But what kind of sociopath is always smiling? That's some DSM-V diagnosable depravity. You think they're always happy? Wrong. Nothing is always happy. Welcome to Earth. They aren't always happy — they're probably plotting the violent deaths of you and your family. NEVER trust something that always smiles. I know a certain Batman villain that always smiles, and would you trust him? Clearly not.

Keep in mind, these hideous creatures are also marsupials, meaning they have pouches. God knows what they keep in those things. Probably anthrax. It's fair to assume that quokkas are one or more of the following: a) gross b) deadly C) abominations.