My Secret Santa is the bestest!

When I first opened the lootcrate, I was immediately compelled to put on the Groot socks. My limbs felt rejuvenated, and a faint smell of dirt permeated my nostrils.

So I hung the Captain America air freshener from my nose ring and continued to explore.

What wonders awaited me! Was it the Simpsons wallet or the Tetris stickers that would capture my attention first? My ADD went into overdrive as I noticed that the box itself turned into a Bat Cave. And when I saw that Batman and Joker had morphed into a combination action figure, I thought I was having a flashback from the sixties.

Luckily, my Adderall started kicking in, and I was able to construct my cave and stay still long enough to read the exclusive comic books depicting Batman on a bad psilocybin trip. I felt like Hunter Thompson in a Larry the Leisure Suit video game.

Logging on to my trial Crunchyroll account helped to mellow me out, but this nearly 60-year old American White Anglo-Saxon Protestant was close.to.the.edge. for awhile.

Thank you Secret Santa! You are my hero!