WASHINGTON—As a chorus of jeers began to fill Nationals Park during Game Five of the World Series, President Donald Trump was reportedly mortified Sunday after the crowd started chanting “Lock him up!” at first lady Melania Trump. “Why would they do that? It’s so mean,” said Trump, adding that when they stood up in their box seats to wave, the crowd began viciously booing Melania, an act he claimed was extremely disrespectful to the office of the first lady, especially since he was pretty sure she hadn’t done anything illegal. “Listen, there are plenty of things about Melania that I don’t like. I’ve definitely thought about replacing her. Heck, I got caught up in the chant for a little bit there too. But she should be able to attend a baseball game in peace. Someone even pulled out a sign that said ‘Impeach Trump,’ which is silly, because I don’t think she can be impeached. Overall, we were incredibly embarrassed for Melania, but she was able to put on a brave face. I went over to console her and she didn’t seem bothered by it at all.” At press time, Trump kicked himself for being foolish after realizing that the crowd was probably booing Senator David Perdue (R-GA) for his unpopular agricultural policies.

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