What is NFL loyalty? Is it showing up to watch a miserable team in a snowstorm? Is it buying jerseys every year because your team can’t hold onto players of draft picks? Is it a David Puddy-like existence of “supporting the team?” FTW tried to distill NFL loyalty into one list, ranking all 32 NFL teams by how much they follow and love their teams.

1. Seattle Seahawks

Not only do Seahawks fans care about their team, but they’re willing to risk life and limb to be a part of that team, collectively suiting up every week to be the 12th man. Oh, wait, that’s just a saying?

2. New England Patriots

All kidding aside here — which, between Bill Simmons’ rants, the misspelled tomes of Patriots fans and WEEI’s blind, self-congratulatory love of all things Tom Brady — it has to be really hard to be a Pats fan right now. You have four Super Bowl titles, as many as any single team has in a definable era, and all you do is stay on the defensive about PSI, Roger Goodell, spy cameras and dumpster diving. It must be exhausting. I had a serious conversation about this with a colleague yesterday and we both agreed we’d rather be Bills fans. Seriously. Winning without the ability to gloat freely is barely winning at all.

3. Green Bay Packers

Nothing snarky here, the Green Bay faithful are loyally devoted, both because nearly 25 years of Brett Favre and Aaron Rodgers has made it easy to root for the Pack and because what the hell else are you going to do in December in northern Wisconsin?

4. Pittsburgh Steelers

Given their national popularity and the fact they’re probably the best traveling fans in the NFL, I’d imagine Steelers fans would stick with the team through thick and thin, though there hasn’t been too much thin in the past 50 years.

5. Washington Redskins

(Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports)

This is a team that, with the exception of both Joe Gibbs eras, has been anywhere from bad to barely mediocre in the past 35 years, yet the fans hang on through quarterback controversies, coaching changes, megalomania and disfunction, all on the hope that they’ll one day see the most loathed man in Washington, who quickly ruined a once-great franchise, smirk as he holds a Super Bowl trophy. Like I said, being a Bills fan doesn’t sound too bad.

6. Philadelphia Eagles

Eagles fans are forced to be defensive just like Patriots fans, only they don’t have the success to fall back upon. You can’t see Santa within 100 yards of a football stadium without making a joke about Eagles fans, the Veteran’s Stadium jail cell is a constant source of material and having to hear about the (possibly) apocryphal story about Donovan McNabb throwing up during the Super Bowl has to make wearing kelly green impossible.

7. Chicago Bears

The fact that Jay Cutler has yet to be driven from town by a mob of people eating Hot Doug’s is the truest sign of Bears loyalty.

8. New York Jets

What’s best about Jets fans are that they’re never delusional. They’re always waiting for the inevitable, yet still they come.

9. Buffalo Bills

Sure, attendance isn’t great, but would you want to spend a Sunday battling lake-effect snow to watch Tyrod Taylor throw interceptions to a receiver the guy behind you thinks is Steve Johnson but is really Sammy Watkins? Also, admission: I have no idea what lake-effect snow is.

10. Oakland Raiders

On one hand, you have the Black Hole. On the other hand, you have the constant chatter of leaving the Bay Area (again) and returning to Los Angeles (again). On yet another hand, you have the last NFL fans forced to watch their team play in a baseball stadium. And on our last hand, you have a team that’s been terrible ever since getting blown out in the Super Bowl. So, yeah, No. 10 seems okay.

11. New York Giants

Have more fans of a team ever disliked a two-time Super Bowl-winning quarterback so much?

12. Kansas City Chiefs

According to Guinness, the Chiefs have the record for loudest stadium, probably because yelling is the only way to handle the fact that you haven’t won a title since before the AFL/NFL merger, have never won the AFC and have eight division championships in 45 years.

13. Baltimore Ravens

How loyal are Ravens fans?

14. Minnesota Vikings

Adopting Brett Favre couldn’t have been easy and now that it’s been years since that low moment, I hope all Vikings fans are done with their therapy. But forcing yourself to root for Favre: Let’s loyalty, if not as disgusting act.

15. Denver Broncos

Sure, there are some great fans in the Mile High City, but loyalty? Loyalty is not getting rid of Tim Tebow immediately after he won a playoff game merely to bring in some guy named (checks to see the quarterback who succeeded Tebow) Payten Maning. Disgusting.

16. San Francisco 49ers

The good news for Niners fans is that they’ll be so far out of the playoff picture by October they won’t have time to hear the stat about no team ever winning the Super Bowl while hosting the Super Bowl.

17. Indianapolis Colts

Remember when the Colts were the dregs of the NFL, playing in front of sparse crowds at the Hoosier Dome? Neither do most current Colts fans.

18. New Orleans Saints

18. Tampa Bay Buccaneers

18. Atlanta Falcons

18. Carolina Panthers

We’re lumping all the NFC South teams together because they all seem to have interchangeable loyalties that ebb and flow with the quality of their teams. There’s nothing wrong with that, by the way. Why would you want to spend an entire Sunday driving to a game, sitting in traffic, cooking some food that would have tasted a lot better on your home grill, going inside to pay for $9.50 beers, sitting behind people who consumed way too many of those $9.50 beers and getting stuck in traffic to get away from those people who consumed way too many of those $9.50 beers, all to watch an inferior product? I don’t blame fans for being fickle about their attendance at sporting events. There are way better things to do with money and time than watching a 4-12 football team — like staying home, turning on the TV and reading FTW. (High fives marketing team!)

22. Tennessee Titans

Let’s say one team was removed from the league and the NFL didn’t tell anybody. Forgetting about the obvious confusion on why one team would have a bye every week in an uneven, 31-team NFL, which franchise’s absence would you notice the latest? It’s gotta be the Titans, right?

23. Cleveland Browns

For all the tales of Cleveland hardship, resilience and keeping the fight alive until that elusive title comes, the 2014 Browns were 25th in the NFL attendance and filled FirstEnergy Stadium (is that really the name?) to a capacity of 92%. And that was with Johnny Manziel!

24. Houston Texans

The Texans have only been around 13 years, not yet old enough to be Bar Mitzvahed. Loyalty is built over generations, not the length of American Idol‘s television run.

25. Arizona Cardinals

Even with a playoff run last year, Cards fans couldn’t fill the third-smallest NFL stadium in the league. That’s just like a slap in the face to Ryan Lindley.

26. Detroit Lions

Lions fans are willing to give up Thanksgiving with their families to attend NFL games for decades, which either says a lot about loyalty to football or disloyalty to family.

27. Miami Dolphins

Most people call the Dolphins’ home field “Joe Robbie Stadium” because it’s been so long since the Dolphins have played a meaningful game on national television that they missed all the subsequent name changes.

28. Cincinnati Bengals

Do you know a Cincinnati Bengals fan? Unless you’re from Ohio or Kentucky or somewhere else nearby, it’s a valid question. Sure, you could say the same thing about Texans’ fans or Jaguars fans but those are new teams who haven’t had much success. The Bengals are nearly a half-century old, were started by a football legend, have been to Super Bowls and have made the playoffs in four straight years. You’d think you’d see a “DALTON” jersey every now and again.

29. St. Louis Rams

Rams fans are so loyal the team is constantly threatening to move to any parcel of land that might be able to accommodate a football stadium.

30. San Diego Chargers

Chargers fans are so loyal the team is constantly threatening to move to any parcel of land that might be able to accommodate a football stadium.

31. Jacksonville Jaguars

This is a team that is trying to win fans in London because apparently the Jacksonville Waffle House demographic was tapped out.

32. Dallas Cowboys

I’m not talking about you, most fans from the Dallas area, who generally (along with Bears and Packers fans) seem to be the nicest I’ve ever encountered. No, this is pointed to Cowboy Nation, the widely dispersed cross-section of fan who like the Cowboys beacause they happened to grow up when Troy Aikman, Emmitt Smith and Jimmy Johnson were doing their thing and adopted the Cowboys despite any affiliation with them whatsoever. There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as you stay resolute through the Wade Phillips years. But if you disown the Cowboys when they struggle, then try to get on the bandwagon when Tony Romo happens to go 12-4, then that’s just sad. It’s a cliche, but did you know that in the dictionary, there’s a picture of Cowboys fans next to the word “fair-weather?” No, seriously.