The countless allegations against Harvey Weinstein are all disturbing in their own way, but Lupita Nyong’o’s encounter with the disgraced Hollywood executive takes it to another level.

In an op-ed for The New York Times, the “12 Years A Slave Star” wrote about her encounters with Weinstein over the years, including an incident at his home when he made inappropriate advances on her with his children in the next room.

Nyong’o first met Weinstein at an awards ceremony in Berlin, but not long afterwards he invited her to “attend a screening of a film” at his home in Westport, Connecticut. The young actress accepted what she thought was an innocent opportunity to get to know the powerful Hollywood producer. Unfortunately it ended up being another one of Weinstein’s alleged advances on an aspiring actress.

Nyong’o was watching the film in Weinstein’s screening room with his young children when he led her out of the room to show her something. When she resisted, he demanded that she obey.

“Harvey led me into a bedroom — his bedroom — and announced that he wanted to give me a massage. I thought he was joking at first. He was not. For the first time since I met him, I felt unsafe. I panicked a little and thought quickly to offer to give him one instead: It would allow me to be in control physically, to know exactly where his hands were at all times,” Nyong’o wrote.

The young actress studied massage techniques as part of her drama school curriculum at Yale and felt she could personally “rationalize giving him one and keep a semblance of professionalism in spite of the bizarre circumstances.”

“He agreed to this and lay on the bed. I began to massage his back to buy myself time to figure out how to extricate myself from this undesirable situation. Before long he said he wanted to take off his pants. I told him not to do that and informed him that it would make me extremely uncomfortable. He got up anyway to do so and I headed for the door, saying that I was not at all comfortable with that,” she recalled.

“I opened the door and stood by the frame. He put his shirt on and again mentioned how stubborn I was. I agreed with an easy laugh, trying to get myself out of the situation safely. I was after all on his premises, and the members of his household, the potential witnesses, were all (strategically, it seems to me now) in a soundproof room.”

Nyong’o was able to leave his house, but claims it wasn’t the last time he made a pass at her, promising success in exchange for cooperation in his sexual advances. But Nyong’o shot his propositions down and refused to work with him, however she feels guilty for remaining silent all of these years.

“I had shelved my experience with Harvey far in the recesses of my mind, joining in the conspiracy of silence that has allowed this predator to prowl for so many years,” she said. “I had felt very much alone when these things happened, and I had blamed myself for a lot of it, quite like many of the other women who have shared their stories.”