Giuseppe Fitzsimmons

First, Coma Wall has no totalised meaning for me, but death of the author could suggest otherwise. But there are themes.The Coma Wall, also known as the CfA2 Great Wall, is a galactic filament - thread-like structures composed millions of galaxies - of and one of the largest structures in the observable universe. It’s 750 million ly high x 200 million ly in width x 16 million ly in thickness. There are few structures bigger than it before you get to the “End of Greatness”, where the universe no longer is seen in discernible structures (filaments and voids, which combined look awfully organic, almost like clusters of interconnected neurones) and you get undifferentiated noise, like static on a TV or white noise. Basically, in cosmology, there seems to be an upper limit to how big things get before the universe seems to become pure undifferentiated being, which is synonymous with nothingness.The words “Coma Wall” too have resonances and connections separate, but fitting, to the above. In a coma, of course, being asleep one falls into an undifferentiated state of unconsciousness. Dreams are the exception, but the differentiation between things is murky and fluid - and irrational - Freud once quipped that contradiction is alien to the unconscious. They are structures that appear out of the noise only to fall back into it, until, abruptly, we wake up. If we don’t wake up, one can only speculate it is a return to the noise, which can be thought either as pure being and/or pure nothingness respectively.A wall too is often used as a symbol for nothingness, undifferentiation. A white wall, for example, has nothing - and somehow “is” nothing - unless something is on it, a picture, a door etc. Its a metaphor for another metaphor - the blank slate. Personally, I dislike my bedroom walls not being adorned with items and trinkets. Without external proof I live in the bedroom, it feels like nobody lives there. Much alike the ruined room that graces the EP cover. But a wall is also often a grand structure: the great wall of China, the walls of the Korean demilitarised zone and Trump’s racist wall being built on the Mexican border. A grand structure for keeping things in and out. Walls keeps capitalism going by regulating flows of bodies. Walls ultimately differentiate much like words. I guess we return full circle back to ontology. So perhaps the title “Coma Wall” is ontological in essence? I’m improvising here. But it does strike one as grave, heavy and terrifying, and perhaps suggests a link between these affects with interlinked concepts and objects splayed out above. Maybe ontology itself is as terrifying as Being itself is, given that Being thought purely is even emptier than nothing. All fear and anxiety has nothingness as an essential component. Also negation as otherness has been phallocentrically linked to the feminine, so my gender transition probably plays into this as well.I know the CfA2 Great Wall is a contingency of nature and nothing like our walls that block solid matter, but it is tempting to fancy that it too is keeping us in or something worse out.Oh, that was written by me, and was spoken aloud by Anita Shao, whose voice and accent ended up perfect for it.A lot of people assumed it was a sample, but it was simply said by Anita and recorded by me. I strongly prefer female speaking voices to my own, being transgender, although I was not out at that time. Singing seems different, maybe because of artists like G.L.O.S.S. and Anohni helping to proudly put low, resonant transfemme amab voices on display.This text essentially is about Lacan’s quote “There is no sexual relationship”. Love is never a union into a single being, an end of desire and therefore a “death” in the aforementioned form of undifferentiation. Indeed, a subject - the entity we ourselves always are - is essentially just a negativity, a no-thing that is always in excess of any particular property. So, in love, we often (try to) see the “essence” of the beloved, what is in them more than them themselves. You can only ever grasp their particularity - the totality of properties they show on the outside - which due to their subjective negativity, often change and are inconsistent. But below these - their body, voice, interests, dreams and so on, there is nothing but another purely formal negativity. It’s not a “soul” - nothing extra-physical - just a torsion point where nature folds upon itself. But this is a trap - staring too deeply into the Other rather than dwelling alongside them as a “we”. The moral of the story is, don’t try to “understand” the beloved - you’ll find nothing but a hole. Children are often used to fill the hole we ourselves are - something I cannot do on HRT. Both loving and child-rearing can only be successful if the epistemological endeavour ends and questioning their essence does not even arise. In order to do this, the Other must also be a non-Other, a “we”. Only then can the paranoia and melancholia that the introductory poem can be nullified.Psychotic paranoia... gender dysphoria. The rest is hazy, and I don’t really feel like reminiscing on this. That person is dead.…and I’ve gone back to being fully recorded and online again. Solo shows gave me serious anxiety, and was forced to stop doing them. I would love to do a band, but money, transportation and people make it difficult. Live collaborations might also be possible. Or just maybe one day the anxiety will go away.Basically they are singles, because the prospect of doing an album was too daunting at the time. I also like the idea of episodic music, rather than everything always being in a larger whole. That being said, I intend to release most of them (tidied up) on Bandcamp as a release simply as the download feature on Soundcloud is not particularly good. They are all uploaded as different filetypes. Also mixing the songs together, especially the passage from one to another, could recontextualise them Some others might be on another release.Absolutely. It’s what I have been doing recently both due to changing where I live and losing my old PC. I still like heavy music, and perhaps metallic and doom parts will return, but I have other plans right now, several EPs, collaborations and LPs are yet to be released which have these influences and indeed sometimes fall into the genre of noise.Interesting, maybe more accurate to say there are several “scenes” that interconnect over each other. Our shows have diverse lineups. My one show was with post-punk and screamo bands, but there are lots of noise, experimental and electronic artists out here, especially within the queer scene.There are too many, and if I mention all the great music friends of mine have made, it will take hours, and would feel guilty leaving any out. But in general, musicians who are trying to do something new (if such a thing is possible, whatever novelty may be) and LGBTIQA musicians, band members and noise artists. Seeing more queers and femmes get into heavy music and noise is especially enthralling - because they are not only extremely talented, but are helping turn the culture of extreme music away from reactionary elements which contaminate it. Seeing people successfully making great art under the abhorrent financial strain of capital - not to mention more particular forms of oppression - also inspires me. But it is sad that they are forced to do so. I think this situation will change - rather dramatically - eventually. Hopefully soon.