‘It’s been an experience’: Grant Leadbitter on emotional return ‘home’ to Sunderland, taking a pay cut… and burying his dad under the Stadium of Light pitch On Sunderland return, Leadbitter reflects on the deep connection he feels to his boyhood club and the difficult period he has been through

It was approaching 6.30 on Saturday evening when Grant Leadbitter walked back down the tunnel at the Stadium of Light. The stands were empty, the noise gone, but the lights were on and the scale of the ground was clear. “Some place, isn’t it?” Leadbitter said.

Stud marks were still fresh in the turf. He looked down and added: “I feel drained.”

When a local boy returns to a football club there is sentimentality and goodwill. But Leadbitter’s return to Sunderland goes beyond that. He was six when he first joined the club, 17 when he made his debut in 2003. Just turned 33 he is back and the special welcome he received before Saturday’s match with Wimbledon said that the home crowd understood what it meant.

Sunderland fanatic

The perfect homing for Grant Leadbitter today! ❤️ #SAFC pic.twitter.com/vKbRY7uhWg — Sunderland AFC (@SunderlandAFC) February 2, 2019

Because when Leadbitter looked down at the pitch, it was with the knowledge that his father Brian’s ashes are buried there. Brian Leadbitter was a Sunderland fanatic who died suddenly in 2008, when his son was 22 and playing for their hometown team.

There are many grounds around the world where fans’ ashes are scattered, caskets buried, but in the history of the game not many players have been asked to run on pitches where their father lies.

Initially it overwhelmed Leadbitter and he left for Ipswich in 2009. He came back twice as a visiting player but the ordeal was such that Leadbitter, his mother and sisters could not return on their own. Leadbitter struggled even to speak about his father.

But more than a decade on, with over six years at Middlesbrough behind him, he can talk about his father and what a football club can mean.

On Saturday, though, it was too much again.

By Monday, in the Fausto Coffee cycling café down on Roker beach after training, Leadbitter could speak. He wants to address this once, then focus on his job.

Deep connection

“Let me tell you, it’s an experience,” he tells i. “I can tell you that. Sometimes I get caught up in it all, but now sometimes I also can laugh. Yeah, it’s an experience.

“My Dad used to go to all the games, took me as a two year-old to Roker Park, the Fulwell End. I kept going all the way through, up until I became a professional. He kept going.

“After Saturday’s game, I’d to do something upstairs for the club and when I looked over I saw a friend of my Dad’s who he used to go with – Stu. I’d not seen him for years. It was nice, strange. I stopped my speech to go over and say hello.

“My Dad used to love [Marco] Gabbiadini, Gatesy [Eric Gates]. He used to speak about Jimmy Montgomery, Bobby Kerr. When he passed away I got in touch with a few of his favourite players and they carried his coffin. Monty was one. I saw Monty on Saturday. Every time I see him I’m grateful.

“So the connection is deep, deep in the family. It will always be. That’s what my Dad wanted, where he wanted to be.

“Saturday was the first time my Mum’s been back. At the beginning it was too painful to go and my Mum felt that. It was the first time my sisters had been back. There were times when you felt like going but you’ve to respect the football club. You can’t knock on the door.

“It’s taken a few years but I’ve got my head around it. The situation is the situation and everyone knows it here.

“Now I’ve to look at it as a job. It’s a challenge and if we succeed it’ll be even better for me because my Dad’s there. But if we don’t succeed, there’s no point going on about it.”

Coming back home

As he left the pitch on Saturday after the final whistle, Leadbitter bent down to touch the grass: “Maybe that was the moment of realization, that I was back home.”

The home Leadbitter left in 2009 was a Premier League club. Today, as he said repeatedly: “We’re a League One club, that’s the reality.”

It is a position he has returned to change. Sunderland are fourth in League One but have three games in hand on leaders Luton. The next match is Oxford United away, then Sunderland have three home games in a week.

“I’m back one week but I can feel a good atmosphere – you wouldn’t think the club has had back-to-back relegations,” he said. “The manager [Jack Ross], staff have done really well. The players have lost only two games all season. They deserve credit.”

Having been an essential part of the 2006-07 promotion season under Roy Keane, when Leadbitter scored two late winners at the climax, he stressed the one-game-at-a-time mantra, but also that the Sunderland crowd will have a role as/if momentum gathers.

There were 46,000 at the Stadium of Light on Boxing Day for the visit of Bradford City and Leadbitter said the Netflix documentary Sunderland Til I Die demonstrated fans’ commitment. As someone who has travelled to away games with them, he understands the town and club connection.

Worrying developments for city

Of this weekend’s news from Nissan, for example, he said: “It’s worrying. It’s like the steelworks at Redcar, that was a big part of Middlesbrough.

“We’d a few local lads in the team, it really matters. The club did things for the steelworks, gave it publicity, people came around to help each other. Football means a lot in tough times.

“At a club like ours it’s local people who buy the tickets, so employment matters. It’s the same at Middlesbrough, Newcastle – I’ve mates who are Newcastle fans and they spend too much money on Newcastle.”

Money has not influenced Leadbitter’s return. He could have stayed with Boro and had talks with other Championship clubs. There was a tempting offer from Australia. Then Sunderland called; a pay cut was taken.

“Middlesbrough were brilliant. I’d like to thank Steve Gibson and [chief executive] Neil Bausor. They understood.

“When I got the call from Sunderland I thought: ‘Yes!’ I couldn’t live with the regret for the rest of my life, and it would be regret if I’d not come back. I want to be part of a football club I love. Obviously it’s extra special for me, a big part of my family.

“The response I’ve had has been special. But it’s done. I want to be judged as a player. I will do my best in any way I can. From now, it’s work.”