Last year I trained a neural net to generate new names for kittens, by giving it a list of over 8,000 existing cat names to imitate. Starting from scratch, with zero knowledge of English or any context for the words and letter combinations it was trying out, it tried to predict what letters might be found in cat names, and in which order. Its names ranged from the strange to the completely nonsensical to the highly unfortunate (Retchion, Hurler, and Trickles were some of its suggestions). Without knowledge of English beyond its list of cat names, it didn’t know what letter combinations to avoid.

So I decided to revisit the cat-naming problem, this time using a neural net that had a lot more context. GPT-2, trained by OpenAI on a huge chunk of the internet, knows which words and letter combinations tend to be used together on the English-language internet. It also has (mostly) figured out which words and letter combinations to avoid, at least in some contexts (though it does tend to suddenly switch contexts, and then, yikes).

When I trained GPT-2 on the list of cat names using Max Woolf’s colab notebook, it still retained a lot of what it had learned from the rest of the internet. Gone were the strange names like “Tilly-Mapper” and “Balllucidoux” - it had a bunch of real words it could use instead. Here are some of the names it came up with - and the Morris Animal Refuge (who you may remember from that time they used neural net names for their guinea pigs) has given some of these names to some highly adoptable kittens.

First, neural net can do fancy:

Taffeta

Pompompur

Monocle

Tom Glitter

Notion

Tinnitus

Cheesemonger

M. Tinklesby Linklater Soap

It can also do the opposite of fancy:

Scat Cat Butthole

Gangrene

Moisture

Grotesque

Petard

Oilbag

Buttwig

The Cream

Meatbag

Dr Fart

Fudge Putty

Scumbag

Constipation

BUTT



And it can also do names ranging from tough to downright sinister:



Miss Vulgar

Lillith The Vamp

Elle Fury

Deadbolt

Romeo of Darkness

Starmaker

Fist

Warning Signs

Bibles Smoked

The Firestarter

Higher Rune

Scarlet Be Thy Coat

Kill All Humans

Bones Of The Master

Mr. Sinister

Evil Whispers

Spawn

Serendipitous Kill

Stranglehold



(Starmaker and Sparky Buttons are from a litter that had upper respiratory infections that damaged their eyes, but even though their world is kinda cloudy, they love to play and cuddle.)

I’m a particular fan of the Very Weird cat names:

Honeystring

Dr Leg

Tom Noodle

Pinball Scene

Peanutbutterjiggles

You’re Telling A Lie

Beep Boop

Thoughts

Bobble Bun

Atmosphere

You Name It

Whiskeridoo

Sparky Buttons



Seemingly

This Guy

Various Authors

Chicken Whiskey

Fish Especially

Thelonious Monsieur

Ringo Shuffles

Sweet Cakes

EXTAs (Eye Stalks)

Checker Spin Donut Quin

Two Patz Grandpa

He Glad

Funky Moe

Fluttering Feelers

Accepted A Tribute

Chewie Bean

PLEASE

Gregory Chimney

Notable PRODUCT LEGEND Weird Science Platinum

Not Suitable For Character the Enforcer

Did I mention these cats are adoptable? If you live near Philadelphia, you live near these kitties!

Bonus content: yet more cat names!