Marshawn Lynch is easily the coolest player on the Seahawks and probably in my top 5 current players in the entire league (My other 4, by the way, are Eli, OBJ, Watt, and OBJ). Marshawn is just so goddamn cool. I have a special love for a player who is so good and won’t put up with the league’s BS (as much as he reasonably can, anyway).

On one hand, I actually perfectly understand what angle the league is coming from in regards to Marshawn grabbing his crotch after he scores and does cool things. It’s not exactly the most polite gesture and if you grabbed your junk in front of everyone at your job after making a sale or filing the TPS reports or whatever your bosses probably wouldn’t be too happy unless he’s the type who does it already. A lot of people think it’s BS that Marshawn is getting threatened for this but really, it makes sense. I think a 15 yard penalty is ridiculous but the NFL has a bigger issue with not allowing any sense of expression on scores, which seems bizarrely contradictory to the NFL’s nature as an entertainment source. That’s what sports are, they are entertainment. Let the people entertain. But even then I can still see why grabbing your junk might be seen as a bit unnecessary and vulgar and anyone who says Marshawn should be allowed to do whatever he wants are just Lynch fans blindly siding with their super star and missing what makes his dick grabs so great.

Marshawn’s dick grabbing antics are great precisely because the NFL hates it. If he was allowed to grab his dick with no penalties, it would lose a lot of what makes it so fantastic. It would still be cool, but it’s even cooler knowing a bunch of stodgy old farts are stewing in their seats when he does it. Very few players can do what Marshawn does, so to see him do something remarkable and then grab his dick at the end as an extra special suck it gesture is part of the Marshawn Lynch mystique. It’s part of why we love him. We love him for wanting to wear Gold Cleats. We love him for refusing to tolerate the cliche BS post-game interview and give silly answers to deliberately annoy the media, who he knows will just twist his words anyway. Marshawn has to abide by certain restrictions, but in challenging them at every turn whilst being a ridiculously awesome player is what gives Marshawn his magic. I love that he pisses the NFL off and shows their hypocrisy with his actions. That’s part of what makes him cool. Marshawn is the Breakfast Club standing up to the snotty principal who tries to mold them into what he thinks is the perfect student. Marshawn is the badass action hero who just can’t be brought down by the man no matter how mad the man gets, because the people love him. I hope he continues to find ways to piss off the NFL, and if the Seahawks win the Super Bowl, I hope he wins MVP, gets on the podium, and grabs his junk right before shaking Goodell’s hand and getting the trophy, all on national television. It would be the best thing I have ever seen.

If he doesn’t I’ll at least make a comic with him doing it.