When I was little, I had recurring night terrors of a creature standing at the edge of my twin-sized bunk bed. I'd wake up paralyzed with fear in the middle of the night, anxiously watching and waiting for it to turn around and face its victim. It never did, but I always imagined it would look exactly like the Secret Santa gift I just opened, sent from the gates of hell itself - Florida.

I tried to be mad at its sender. I did. But one gets the feeling that there aren't too many of these things left in the world, that I've collected a relic from a time where children weren't so easily scared by the grotesque and unknown. Plus, it's technically a tea pot. So I guess I got that goin' for me, which is nice. Merry Christmas Reddit.