Instances of sabotaging condoms and other contraceptives feature largely in the report. (File photo)

Sarah's* most natural motherly instincts were perversely denied by a partner so controlling he forbade her from breastfeeding and kissing her newborn baby.

'He caught me doing it one time and he got so angry he started throwing things around the room."

Exhausted and vulnerable, Sarah felt she had no choice but to relent.

"I never breastfed my baby again. He wouldn't even let me kiss the baby and I thought 'what a weird life I'm living, where I have to sneak around and kiss my baby in secret.'"

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Sarah is one of 161 people who bravely shared horrific stories of abuse in a survey conducted by Women's Refuge and Family Planning.

A report from the survey's findings released today investigated the practice of reproductive coercion – a form of intimate partner violence where a person tries to undermine the reproductive autonomy of their partner, including denying their access to contraceptives, birth control sabotage, pressure to get pregnant, controlled access to abortion and other controlling behaviours.

The report makes for brutal reading.

123RF Sabotaging and confiscating contraceptives and controlling access to abortions are just some of the disturbing experiences women in Aotearoa face, a new report from Women's Refuge into reproductive coercion has found. (File photo)

One woman, who spoke about her partner controlling access to contraceptives, said: "He wouldn't wear a condom but thought the pill would make me fat so I wasn't allowed to take it, and said the IUD and other alternatives cost too much."

Another commented: "[He] removed the condom during sex, had sex with me when I was sleeping and when I tried to obtain the morning after pill, he would distract me and occupy my time or threaten suicide to make it harder to get it in time."

Many recounted their experiences of partners tampering with their contraceptives. Pills were 'lost', destroyed or simply confiscated by controlling partners. Condoms were punctured with pins.

One woman said her partner threw her pills into the bin and took it out to the rubbish truck so they were irretrievable.

Another said her partner was so infuriated when she went on the pill he flushed them down the sink.

"The time I put my foot down with condoms, he poked a needle through some and mixed them all up and told me 'good luck'," she said.

The survey of mostly women (more than 96 per cent) revealed disturbing details of partners impeding access to abortions. More than a third of the 141 who responded to this particular question reported devastating experiences of this. Just under a third said their partners deliberately tried to bring about a miscarriage using physical violence subsequent to them coercing or forcing the pregnancy.

"My ex would threaten me with 'If you want an abortion, I may as well beat it out of you'," said one.

CAMERON BURNELL/STUFF Dr Ang Jury, CEO of Women's Refuge said it was difficult to articulate her emotional response to the experiences recounted in the reproductive coercion report.

Women's Refuge chief executive Dr Ang Jury said it was difficult to articulate her emotional response reading the full report.

"Your heart just breaks for these women. What they're going through is so sad and so cruel and so unnecessary. I think to myself if that sort of stuff is going on in relationships, what impact is it having on those women's ability to parent? What's that going to do for those kids? How an earth can you heal from some of those experiences?"

She hopes a new joint venture between government agencies to stem the tide of domestic violence will improve some of the services that could help victims of reproductive coercion.

* Name has been changed.