Two fundamental rules in most science labs are 1) always have protective eyewear on and 2) don’t stick your face next to stuff that’s on fire. For these reasons, Sufficiently Advanced’s flamethrower welding helmet presents a conundrum.


Modeled after Cyclops from the X-Men, this deeply unsafe contraption shoots two lines of fire out of your eyeballs for several feet, burning whatever happens to be in its path. What could possibly go wrong? Let me count the ways:

Flaming propellant lands on the person wearing it



Lack of peripheral vision leads to accidentally testing the flamethrower’s efficacy on people/pets that happen to be nearby



Fuel tank (located also on your head) catches fire/explodes



Every single one of those scenarios leads to a trip to the ER.

Bringing superheroes to life has long been a quest of Youtube inventors, e.g. homebrew Magneto shoes and Wolverine claws, a functioning Batsuit, and Iceman-like freeze blasters. Sufficiently Advanced first got his name on the map by making a trick Mjolnir that—just like the one Thor carries—could only be wielded by its owner. But flaming jets two inches from your eyeballs is just plain stupid.