According to Jeff Passan of Yahoo! Sports, they acquired a secret recording of San Diego Padres President and CEO Tom Garfinkel adamantly telling a group of fans that Zack Greinke intentionally hit Carlos Quentin last week.

Click the link and listen/read for yourself. We see the same old tired points brought up from last week. For example, there’s “no way” that a pitcher with impeccable control misses his location that bad. Yeah, Tom. Because that’s never happened before. Ever.

Garfinkel not only completely dismisses the possibility that the 3-2 count and 2-1 game affects the argument, but cites an inaccurate “heat map” in explaining why it was such an obviously intentional hit by pitch. While Garfinkel also mentions that he couldn’t be sure what Greinke said that caused Quentin to charge, he says people in the Padres baseball-operations department “who can read lips” were unsure.

What does that even mean? I know how to read lips, too. Can you pay me to read the lips of pitchers for your last-place team, Mr. Garfinkel? As a Dodger fan, this doesn’t even hit me personally. It just worries me that someone can be so…idiotic.

Obviously, as this news makes the round on social media, Garfinkel is going to get absolutely abused by fans. And it’s for good reason. Not only did he come out and spew foolish things like this in the presence of some kind of microphone, but he compared Greinke, who suffers from social anxiety issues, to Rain Man.

Good luck getting out of this one, Tom. Maybe the next intentional pitch that gets away from a Dodgers pitcher will sail through the window of your suite.

– Jeremy Dorn (@Jamblinman)

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