Transcript:

From his fortress of incumbency, our hero of the people spots a familiar figure approaching... Congressman: And so it begins...again! ...And springs into action! It's the malevolent K-street giant, mindlessly destroying everything in its path to feed its insatiable appetite for influence! Man: Hellllp!! Congressman: Hey, that's a constituent! Giant: Fee, fi, fo, fum...I smell the blood of middle-class scum. The lumbering beast just smiles, then reaches into its pocket for a weapon. "Give me your best shot, big boy!" The mighty man of the people says fearlessly. The giant obliges... ...hitting the great protector right where he's most vulnerable... Congressman: Unhh...campaign contribution...you're on your own, folks...zzz ...Leaving him drained of a conscience, helpless and utterly useless. Stay 'toned for more inertia-packed episodes of Congress-Man! Worst...superhero...ever.