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Sheldon Adelson is onto something. Learning from the Brand Israel model, in which virtually everything is for sale, he’s going to buy himself his own personal U.S. embassy in Jerusalem.

This could become a trend. Putin can find himself an oligarch to buy the Russian embassy in Washington. The Kardashians could buy the U.S. embassy in Armenia. Think how trendy that would make it! Our UK embassy could be named for Nazi-lover, Joe Kennedy and paid for by the remnants of the Kennedy family (if there are any) which stayed true to his nativist values.

But really, since when does one of the most powerful nations on earth need a private oligarch to fund an embassy?? But if you look at it another way it makes perfect sense. U.S. Middle East policy is bought and paid for by Adelson, so why not let him buy the embassy? He bought everything else, why not this?

Think of it: Trump could sell the rights to U.S. Middle East policy to Adelson and use the proceeds to pay down the debt or build a new (federally-funded, of course) Elon Musk hyperloop to deliver guests directly to his properties at Mar-a-Lago or Bedminster.

I can see the Adelson Embassy now: a huge model of the proposed Third Temple exhibited in the new Embassy for everyone to admire. The next goal of the Adelson Embassy (how about calling it the Sands Mideast?) would be to destroy the Haram al Sharif and replace it with the rebuilt Temple. Anything to advance the coming of the Messiah. Yes I know Adelson isn’t Orthodox, so this shouldn’t mean much to him. But settlers and their pagan Judean idolatry “own” Israeli society. There’s no reason they wouldn’t own Adelson as well.

A prominent place in the embassy could also be reserved for a Sands casino, where high rollers from the Jewish Diaspora and those new Sunni oil sheikhs who’ve become best bros with Israel could come to test their luck and gambling prowess. The revenues from the casino could fund the ongoing operations of the embassy and pay its staff. This could be a new model for financing the federal government. A “public-private partnership” in the true sense of the word. The one element he couldn’t include in his Embassy casino would be the prostitutes he procures for his high rollers in Macau.

This casino project isn’t as far-fetched as it may sound–Adelson once pitched Bibi on a casino in Eilat. Who knows how much graft and corruption would’ve been involved in that project if it had moved forward?

*The new embassy will cost “hundreds of millions of dollars.” Trump (or was it Bibi?) proposes a massive national fundraising campaign by American Jews and evangelicals to raise the funds. Adelson has pledged to make up the difference between the actual cost and the sum raised.

I can’t think of a more preposterous proposal…although arming “highly-adept” teachers with firearms comes close. By the way, why can’t those teachers stick to being highly-adept at their profession, teaching?

Add to Adelson’s monopoly on U.S. policy, he has a stranglehold over Israeli media, owning the largest daily, Israel Hayom (personally subsidizing up to $200-million in losses), Maariv and Makor Rishon. This allows him to spew his racist, pro-settler, Arabophobic bile throughout the Israeli media, resulting in tremendous impact on the Israeli electorate. Israelis are much more likely than the average westerner to access the news from print and online media publications than social media. So Adelson’s leverage is even greater.

Imagine Robert and Rebekah Mercer starting a free daily national newspaper with unlimited funding, then buying the Washington Post and Los Angeles Times, as well. That’s what he’s done on the Israeli media landscape.

Adelson bought a prime minister too, Bibi Netanyahu. But when the “made”-PM sold Adelson’s paper out for a mess of favorable articles in Yediot Achronot, Adelson dumped him like a used Ford Pinto. Now he’s seeking a another far-right horse to add to his stable.

Trump and his libertarian-oligarch pals want to lease out American infrastructure and public services to private industry. We ought to do the same with our foreign policy. You’re an oligarch with a special family or personal interest in a particular country? You get to determine our policy…for a price. A wonderful way to privatize America, end Big Government, and wipe out the deficit.

If you decide we need to fight a war with or against “your” country, don’t fret. You don’t pay for that. That’s why we have a federal government to fight wars for you!