ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Our desert community is mourning the loss of another suburb to the horrors of gentrification this morning after a dog was spotted in Gawden Estate sporting a raincoat.

The one rough neighbourhood has been under attack in recent years from do-gooder city workers and the parent-subsidised South Betoota Polytechnic Students who were initially attracted by the cheaper rent but have now grown to claim the enclave as their own.

Just two short years ago, an argument down at the former Anvil & Heroin Hotel on Curllewis Street turning tragic when a young man was curb-stomped in front of his pregnant wife after suggesting Curtis Stone’s chicken casserole tasted like ‘Mark Taylor’s dot’.

Speaking candidly to The Advocate this afternoon, Gawden local Oscar Kaprowitz said he misses those good old days.

The 67-year-old phoned our reporter this morning to tell him about the coat-wearing dog.

“I guess this is it,” he said slowly.

“A dog of European breed, wearing a coat. In springtime. In the middle of the Queensland desert. Twenty years ago, the owner of that dog would’ve had a length of reobar wrapped around his head and his dog would’ve ended up in a slow cooker,”

“These days, I bet that little fucker is eating better than me! Next thing, the agent will pump the rent when I go to resign next year. Then what? I’ll have to live under a fucking bridge! Or worse, Betoota Ponds!”

More to come.