Neverbroken Tue 09-Jul-19 19:01:21

Thanks for the advice guys, you’ve made me feel at ease and not guilty. The mattress and car seat I could probably afford myself. And I have seen some nice looking ones for £150 in Argos etc.



Yes I do work full time, however the flat I’m currently living in I was supposed to be sharing with baby’s dad however that didn’t work out (domestic issues which led to me kicking him out hence SW involved). So now currently managing the bills by myself whilst trying to get the necessary furniture for the flat AND prepare for baby. It’s a lot when you don’t have any family support (our relationships broke down a long time ago) and no friends (due to problems in relationship)

Infact the social worker was worried that I am so isolated but didn’t doubt my abilities to look after baby and protect her. Even with my Anxiety and depression.



You know I’ve had these kinds of conversations on MN before where just because I say something off the top of my head people jump on me for it. When you were little and you imagined having your first child you imagine being able to give your child all brand new stuff shopping with your friends, cooing over baby outfits etc you know you just want the literal best you can do for your child so I suppose it is from that fantasy I am talking about. Also I just feel like if I don’t buy second hand things for myself why should I for her but also understand that babies do grow quickly.



I think I have been realistic in terms of spending, I’ve used shpock so although the things are new they are cheap. I literally bought some socks (3pack) for her for 50p & a packet of about 45 newborn nappies for £1 yesterday. I have to travel to get them but that doesn’t matter as I got a daysaver for work and go to get them after work anyway.



@SouthernComforts I simply expressed to her I was worried (like I do about everything - suffer from anxiety quite a bit on meds for it and depression) about getting the bigger things and tbh aside from probably a cot isn’t a pushchair the next biggest thing you buy for a baby? That’s what support workers are for to support you right? I was one a couple of years ago myself working with the homeless in hostels and I saw the donations from food banks which wasn’t great let me tell you which is why I questioned the baby banks. Being quite honest until she mentioned it I had never even heard of a baby bank.



Her father and his contribution is another thing, he has yet to buy her anything. He actually owes me £40 currently and may be losing his job which is only part time anyway due to William hill closing all their shops come the end of the year. So yes while I know it’s a conversation that needs to be had, it’s a difficult one so I am doing the best I can by myself first (I will broach the subject with him soon) also I think it’s good to operate like this because what if he doesn’t improve or step up to the plate then I am a single parent so I need to learn to do this for me and for her. Given the stress at the beginning of the relationship and the amount of times babygirl has heard me crying over the past few months I want the last few months to be as stress free as they can be for both of us. That’s it really.



As for the freedom project I’m willing to give it a go!