While everybody was getting themselves worked up about Julian Castro's feud with Joe Biden Thursday night, the President of the United States was having another public episode in front of a group of Republican lawmakers. By now, you know the drill: he made up a middle-income tax cut that will extremely-not-materialize shortly before the election. He suggested that 25 years ago the water was clean because "there was nobody here"—in America, in 1994. He decried energy-efficient light bulbs because they make him look orange. (Yeah, it's the bulbs that produced the spray-tanned raccoon in the mirror.) He recounted a bizarro slasher fantasy about MS-13 and women who are "beautiful, young."

Yes, it was another banner evening for Donald Trump, American president doing president stuff. But there was another bit of counter-programming on State TV. It's best to check in from time to time on American state media, which increasingly differs from its competitors in far-flung locales only in production value and the fact that the government does not need to administer to it directly. In this country, Patriotic Business Geniuses will do anything for a buck. And nobody will do anything for a buck—and some adulation and attention—quite like Lou Dobbs, the fashy Benjamin Button who hosts one of Donald Trump's favorite shows on Fox Business.

Previously, Fashy Benji could be found urging the United States president to trample the other branches of government to get his way—you know, Democracy Stuff—as well as generally buffing the boss's car. But here's what Ol' Lou had for his viewers last night:

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"The joint is hoppin'. There is sunshine on almost every face and our president is at the top of his game." You simply HAVE TO WATCH this edition of Dear Leader Watch. pic.twitter.com/LZm8h1vnA4 — Josh Marshall (@joshtpm) September 13, 2019

"The joint," Mr. Dobbs tells us, "is hopping." No floor is spared from the hopping, he reports. Every nook and cranny of the presidential manse is drowning in The Hop. Lou was there! He saw it himself, with his own eyes, located in his own unnervingly cherubic face. (As a side note: what do we think Dobbs' looks like?)

I know we're all jaded at this point, but really: who the fuck is watching this? According to Forbes, citing Nielsen, Ol' Lou is number one among cable business hosts, perhaps in part because the president will occasionally flog his program to the 65 million Presidential Followers on the Tweet Machine. The president advertises for this program because Dobbs advertises for the president at every opportunity on said program. This segment was 85 percent designed for the president to watch on TiVo—yes, TiVo—later that night. That's why you were just treated to an addled infomercial about how everything in the White House is tremendous, it's running so smoothly you wouldn't believe it, everybody's happy and smiling. The folks love mopping up whatever turd El Jefe dropped on the White House lawn—or, for that matter, at the podium in front of Republican lawmakers.

Don't forget: right around when Dobbs was delivering this ritual praise of The Leader, said Leader was calling his vice president, "Mike Pounce," and offering this view on the gun-control debate:

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Trump is really on one tonight. This is arguably weirder than his rally speeches. pic.twitter.com/uE76pKsiM2 — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) September 13, 2019

Good Lord. You don't expect an ounce of integrity from most of the money-grubbing ghouls in the State TV apparatus, but don't they ever wonder if the president is nuts? Yeah, the stock market is still cooking, and they got their tax cut. But this seems like a potential problem for all of us, even if you're raking in the cash while doing some light fascism.

Jack Holmes Politics Editor Jack Holmes is the Politics Editor at Esquire, where he writes daily and edits the Politics Blog with Charles P Pierce.

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