Well, here we are. Early August and the Minnesota Twins are set to break my heart again. This is a team that lost 6 out of their first 7 games, including losing 12-3 at the home opener, then bounced back for a sweet, fleeting moment to have the best record in the AL in July. Now, in the back-end of the season, they’re chipping away one loss at a time toward the .500 mark and the depths that await beyond.

As a Minnesota sports fan, I’ve gotten used to crushing disappointment. The Vikings’ last-moment loss to the Falcons in 1998 in the playoffs after winning 15 games in the regular season, the second-highest post-season losing streak in MLB history (which is currently active and, assuming we get to the post-season this year, could launch us into the number one spot as we are only one game away from first place etc. etc. boo hoo yadda yadda.)

To misquote Daniel Patrick Moynihan’s rumination on the nature of being Irish after the death of JFK, “I don’t think there’s any point in being a Minnesota sports fan if you don’t know that the world is going to break your heart eventually.” What’s my point? Over the last 30 years of triumph and tragedy (mostly tragedy), I’ve developed some coping mechanisms for when it all comes crashing back to earth. So here are six ways to deal with being let down by your baseball team.

1) Think about how stupid the other team is.

Josh Donaldson is a big, fat crybaby. Every time he strikes out he whines to the umpire, even if he struck out swinging. Alejandro Rodriguez looks like Mickey Rourke from The Wrestler had a baby with John Leguizamo. How much of the Yankees’ bullpen could fit into one pair of CC Sabathia’s pants? There’s no end to the stupidity of whatever team your team is playing against, even and perhaps especially if they’re winning. Give it a shot. It’s fun.

2) Remember that this is a building year.

Basically any year when you don’t get deep into the playoffs can always be written off as a building year. The only time when this doesn’t apply is when your team sells the farm for some big names only to fizzle-out mere months later (I know this to be the case because I live in Oakland where A’s fans are bitching pretty hard about this right now). There’s always next year, keep your head up.

3) Drink.

This one may seem obvious. That doesn’t make it any less effective. Drinking and kibitzing about baseball (or sports in general) is a time-honored tradition. Legend has it that beer was actually invented so some Mesopotamian dudes could hang out in a (literal) Man Cave and complain about the astronomical ERA of a Sumerian southpaw named Grong.

4) Watch YouTube videos of times when your team was good.

The Internet has revolutionized the art of wallowing in your own misery. From Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends to saying mean things to celebrities on Twitter, the Internet has a veritable cornucopia of tools you can use to grovel in the basement of despair. Watch some Randy Moss highlights, maybe relive Game 163 (which happened on my 25th birthday).

5) Drink some more.

Once you’re getting deep into the season and it’s starting to look bleak, it might be time to bust out ol’ grandpappy’s cough medicine and take a few slugs. Ahhh the soothing comfort of whiskey.

6) Remember that football season is right around the corner.

When every new day dawns, we’re one step closer to football season; another four months of opportunities for disappointment! Huzzah! I heard that Teddy Bridgewater guy is looking pretty good though, and this is going to be the year that Cordarrelle Patterson learns how to run a route, I just know it!

I hope this has been useful (specifically looking at my Tigers and A’s boys right now) and don’t forget, tomorrow’s another day, keep ya head up.

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