Actor, writer and director Lena Dunham has written an incredibly personal essay about coming to terms with permanent infertility at the age of 31.

Vogue.com published Dunham's detailed account of her decision to undergo a hysterectomy late last year to relieve what she describes as debilitating pain from endometriosis.

The award-winning creator of TV series Girls also shared her profound desire to experience pregnancy and become a mother, and her grief at losing her fertility.

"The children who could have been mine do break my heart, and I walk with them, with the lost possibility, a sombre and wobbly walk as I regain my centre," she wrote.

She said dealing with endometriosis distanced her from her romantic partner.

Dunham and musician Jack Antonoff announced in January that they had ended their five-year relationship.

She said she had known all her life that "something is wrong with my uterus" and has had nine surgeries to cope with endometriosis since her diagnosis 10 years ago.

Dunham wrote that she is physically recovering well, but that her mind and spirit "are another story".

"I made a choice that never was a choice for me, yet mourning feels like a luxury I don't have," she said.

"I weep, big stupid sobs, alone in the bathtub or in the area where, in a terribly cliche turn, I have started crafting."

She added that she hopes to be able to freeze her eggs, but that she also has plans to pursue adoption.

"I may have felt choiceless before, but I know I have choices now. Soon I'll start exploring whether my ovaries, which remain someplace inside me in that vast cavern of organs and scar tissue, have eggs," she said.

"Adoption is a thrilling truth I'll pursue with all my might."



AP/ABC