Like many, I find it strange and disturbing that the language used to describe grey squirrels is so frequently filled with bile. Phrases usually reserved for society's most unpleasant elements – "marauding", "raiders", even "terrorists" – is somehow thought acceptable for these small, agile, exceptionally clever wild mammals.

Have we become so distant from the natural world that we see other species doing no more than finding food and rearing young in a safe place as a threat? This may be true, but there are more selfish elements at play, too. There are many influential people who have a vested interest in demonising grey squirrels and demanding a nationwide cull (a term that hides the horrors reserved for squirrels – bleeding to death over many days after ingesting poison, being bludgeoned or trapped then shot). The voices shouting most loudly include those with forestry interests, supporters of field sports and gamekeepers, each of whom believes that killing grey squirrels can boost their businesses and save them a few pounds. And each seems to subscribe to the fallacious argument by assertion – that if something is said enough times it becomes true.

It's the same with the belief that grey squirrels oust the red squirrels. The reality is that red squirrels suffered badly from deforestation, severe winters, disease epidemics and human persecution long before grey squirrels arrived in the UK. Despite their decline to near-extinction in the 18th century, hundreds of thousands of red squirrels continued to be killed for bounty right up until the 1930s. But fashions change and – thanks, perhaps, to nothing more than a children's book – Squirrel Nutkin is not only back in vogue but also fiercely protected, no matter the cost to other living beings. There is no doubt, however, that if red squirrel numbers were to grow rapidly they too would be killed for their impact on forestry and shooting interests.

And the hateful language is spreading. Some, but by no means all, "conservationists" also demand the deaths of grey squirrels for no greater crime than adapting better than their red cousins to an ever-changing landscape. Despite mass building development, habitat destruction, climate change and pollution, grey squirrels have managed to find a niche and thrive. We should applaud their versatility. Killing them because they are doing well flies in the face of Darwinism: persecution of the fittest is wholly unnatural. Of course, true conservationists recognise that changing environments bring about shifts in wildlife patterns and numbers. They do not seek to impose their own whimsical, idealised version of how the countryside should look by doing away with the way it actually is.

It's not surprising that squirrels irritate gardeners. They dig up freshly planted bulbs and then create holes in the lawn to rebury them. But it is only our control-freakery that makes us demand a specific plant in exactly the place we have put it. Can't we accept – as nature does – that unpredictable things can happen, and sometimes the self-set plant is more beautiful than any other in our perfectly sculptured backyard? It is the same drive to control everything that leads us to complain bitterly when a squirrel eats nuts she has found in our gardens! Since they are delicious and have been left within her reach, why would she not take them? It's a perfectly sensible thing to do. Quite simply, if we don't want squirrels in our gardens, we shouldn't entice them with bird feeders. Ah, but we want pretty little birds but no squirrels and, while we're at it, no big, squawking crows or magpies either, right? Well, that's tough, because the natural world is varied and beautiful, unpredictable and wild. We should cherish it and learn to live alongside these wonderful creatures. And, above all, we should be grateful for our wonderfully fascinating and incredibly benign wildlife. They have bears in Canada, you know.

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