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Tea Party Oligarchy: Trust Fund Babies Are Good For Workers

Oh, didn’t they tell you? When they said “grass roots movement” of the people, by the people…yada yada, they meant elitist oligarchs should be in power, either through ignorant puppets who don’t know better like Christine O’Donnell or the real live bona fide Oligarch types like we have here in John Raese of West Virginia (R-WV), cuz nothing says populism like inheriting somewhere around 79 million dollars.

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John Raese is the guy who told the Matt Lewis show on September 23 that he made his money the “old fashioned way; I inherited it and I think it’s a great thing to do and I hope more people have that opportunity as soon as we get rid of the inheritance tax.”

Oh, Johnny, I get it! It’s so fun to have prep school brought back for us all and the days of you having to find a way to ask your dad for another car after you crashed the first three Bentleys he gave you within weeks of your 16 birthday…. oh, that wasn’t you! So sorry. But surely we had fun on the slopes of Switzerland over spring break when you so kindly invited me aboard your family’s private jet. I’ve always wanted to say thanks –the hot chocolate was superb! Oh, that wasn’t you either? You rich boys all look the same to me; it must be the confidence that comes from never wondering how you were going to pay for anything. Sorry. I promise never to tell how you were disciplined by the Big D after that episode in the Dining Hall. Some things are best left in the sacred bond of boarding school. And again with the not being you thing! Prep schmep.

Anyway, back to the issue at hand….

How much is a gallon of gas, how much do you think the average American makes a week and how much of their paycheck do you think goes toward just paying their mortgage and health insurance costs? How much do you think an average West Virginian makes, Johnny?

Oh, he doesn’t know because he’s super upset about the inheritance tax, which impacts less than 1 percent of people… 99.75 percent were not impacted because they inherited less than 3.5 million dollars.

You can watch Cenk Unger on Countdown take him apart here but don’t worry, in the rarefied air where Johnny lives, things like cable TV and snarky internet fests mean nothing.

You can also comfort yourself with the knowledge that Johnny has Sister Sarah of the Ministry of Populism MiniPop endorsement, and you know how seriously Sarah vets her endorsements. Sure, she got Johnny’s state wrong, but they are all the same down there in the lower 48 and I bet lots of Presidential candidates don’t know where West Virginia is, you elitist!

Sarah had to tweetlete her first tweet, in which she said he was from Pennsylvania, and then she just sorta blended the two together (PA and WV) in her second tweet the way Sarah does when she has made a mistake (as if she did it on purpose in case anyone like, say, Cenk Unger in the lame stream media calls her out on it) and then in the third tweet she claims he would be great for gosh, any and all of ’em energy producing states who needs to avoid “Obama/Pelosi” economic disaster! Clever girl. When caught being stupid, always insult someone else fast. The old deflection and offensive attack move. Rabid li’l thing.

Then Sarah claims you WORKERS will need Raese.

Yes, Raese the steel and limestone company owner (Greer Industries) is going to look out for y’all just as soon as he gets that pesky inheritance tax thing taken care of, which we all know is bringing this country down. It’s an emergency, I tell ya’.

But worry not ye’ liberty seekers, Raese is seeking to repeal Obamacare. I doubt Johnny can even fathom what it means to not be able to afford healthcare. Trust fund babies like Johnny think you had a choice and you chose to spend all your money whoring around Europe instead of saving for that cancer treatment, so you know, you kind of deserved it.

Think of this as the MiniPop endorsement; vote for the trust fund baby because he’s not only out of touch, but never been remotely in touch, with reality. He has no idea how a paycheck relates to the budget of an average American. No idea. He can’t fathom it. He has never had one day in his life where he could not afford something he wanted, let alone needed. Not one.

Now don’t be thinking that just because Johnny has big money he isn’t a West Virginian. Sure, his wife can’t vote in West Virginia cuz she’s registered to vote in Palm Beach, Florida where big money plays, where their daughters attend private school because um…who would want to go to public school in West Virginia? Hello!

We hope this explains to all y’all workers why Johnny is good for you and why he is against public education. It’s not good enough for his kids so why should your kids have to endure it? Surely you have the extra 30,000.00 a year per child plus boarding costs. I mean, you would, if you weren’t making 38,000.00 a year in total. To pay for everything. Yeah.

OK, maybe you don’t have a house to send your wife to live in in Palm Beach and another house to get away from it all in Colorado and, well, you get the idea. But this is all your fault because you were born to the wrong people. This is the American way, sucker. Tea Party Oligarchy, baby!

Raese’s solution for you is to have a rich grandma, which is as populist as the rest of the Tea Party candidates who are all pushing for agendas that benefit men like Mr Raese. Those who there again, need the most help from those pro-America places in this great nation, for the troops, and just the mom and pops and the angry Americans rising up to take their trust funds back from the greedy, grubby hands of the people and dressin’ up folks to look like average white people and tellin’ them there again that it’s the black man in the White House’s fault, look there at the black man whilst men like Mr Raese reach into that American pocket and take a few more of your dollars that you so do not deserve again, for the freedom!

And liberty. Oh, sweet liberty of being born to the right parents like the founders intended. A nation built upon a system of oligarchs, don’t you dare tread on my trust fund you dirty ape and just in case, we have Sarah Palin the rude ingrate populist puppet to sell it all to you. Oligarchy first! Oh, land that I love.

Phew. Jingoism is contagious.

Joe Manchin is the popular Democratic governor who is running opposite of the trust fund baby populist. Joe is, of course, being smeared with Obamacare because Oligarchs find it messy and déclassé to care. So tacky. So, workers of West Virginia and around this great land, listen up! Vote for the guy who has no idea what you are going through and doesn’t even bother to listen, because the Tea Party said he’s a populist. Just do it or Big Brother will find you.

The Tea Party is running candidates who aren’t vetted and don’t know what they’re talking about when they puppet big corporate daddy lines or they’re just cuttin’ the puppets out and running the owners of said corporations. All of these things are being sold to you as populism. If you buy that, I’ve got some lovely land in Florida….Gold? A super hot book I wrote myself about myself?

Just give me your money, OK? We’ll send a flag.