Unless otherwise mentioned, these are non-sponsored and are our actual recommendations of items that we think are great for gift-giving this season.

With a week left before Christmas you may be scrambling to think of a gift for the spicy lad or lady in your life. Fartley Farms is here to help with some hot gift ideas that will (mostly) be ready in time for Christmas morning.

Hot Sauce Subscription Box

There are many of these and we’ve really only tried Fuego Box, but from our research, the top three appear to be:

Fuego Box – The broadest ranges of sauces and box options, Fuego Box offers a “Dip Your Toe In” level which is just one sauce per box starting at $12.95. They also have a Mild to Hot box with 3 sauces for $29.95 or our favorite, the Extra Hot+ which is 2 super hot sauces for $24.95 per box.

Hot Ones Box – Each monthly box includes three sauces and your are first in line to try the exclusive Hot Ones sauces, the new sauces from each season and some other bonuses. $30 per month, auto-renews. This appears to be the most “exclusive” of the subscription boxes.

Heat Hot Sauce Shop – Lots of options here with Mellow, Mid and Extra Hot boxes ranging from $13.99 for 1 bottle to $34.99 for 3. Frequency is adjustable to monthly or quarterly as well and you can pay monthly, or pre-pay for 3, 6 or 12 months. Seems to be a pretty good selection here.

The benefit of these boxes is you can pre-pay for a few months or a year and the recipient will get 1-3 new hot sauces each month. Pretty awesome for folks that want to try new sauces but can’t decide which to purchase. Also, shipping is taken care of for you in most of the boxes, which helps reduce the per box cost as opposed to buying from individual sites.

For Makers

DIY Gift Kits – Hot Sauce Making Kit. We had one of these sent to us for review, so be sure to check out everything we had to say about it, but if you’ve got someone in your life that has been curious about making sauce and hasn’t taken the leap, this kit is a good reason to get started. Are the recipes the best? No, but having all the ingredients show up in a box forces them to give it a shot. We’ll warn you, once someone starts making sauce, it’ll be hard to stop them. Also, pro tip: cook the sauces outside.

Hot Sauce! The book by Jennifer Trainer Thompson was the first hot sauce recipe book we ever purchased. With 30+ recipes, there’s something in here for everyone and will keep your makers busy for hours. The sauces range in style and spice level, which means you’ll be able to ask them nicely to tone it down or kick it up a notch.

For Growers

Seeds – Nothing encourages hot sauce making and gardening more than the gift of seeds. We’ve gotten seeds from a few different spots before, so it’s really up to you where you go. Here are a few to help you out:

A quick note on seeds, if someone is selling Pepper X seeds, unless it’s Pucker Butt, it’s probably a lie. Try to go with a reputable source and not some rando on eBay or Amazon. Folks that sell seeds typically have grown them consistently for 5+ years to make sure that the strain they are growing is accurate.

Home Improvement Gift Card – Any lumberyard will do really, but the sky’s the limit if you’ve got tools, wood and some screws. We’ve built several raised beds and the results have been awesome for growing.

Thumb Knife – New to us this year, we found this and thought it was pretty awesome. It’s a little knife on a tiny thumb glove that allows you to quickly clip fruits and veggies off of their stem. Could be a good way for harvesting peppers.

Spicy Challenges

For whatever reason, heat-seekers get crazier and crazier each year. We don’t have much room to talk since we are seeking out the spiciest dish in Columbus, but some people take it to a whole new level. If your king or queen of capsaicin is getting cocky, fill their stocking with a spicy challenge this season.

One Chip Challenge – We’ve still got one of these laying around and are not looking forward to it. It’s essentially ground up Carolina Reapers in chip form. Seems unpleasant, but is capable of reducing anyone to a pool of tears.

Death Nut Challenge – 5 increasingly spicy levels to go through, with the final level featuring 13 million SHU crystals. Such a nice box, but we’re pretty sure you disintegrate into a pile of ash if you make it to the end.

The Choco Challenge – This one comes with a cause. For each bar purchased, Fuego Box will donate $5.00 to help fund prostate cancer research. The bar features the “UNRELEASED BLACK REAPER, A PEPPER HOTTER THAN THE CAROLINA REAPER.” Enjoy.

Toe of Satan Lollipop – We just.. no. This is not one we’re doing. Nothing about it sounds fun. “‘Hellfire’ chili extract that has a Scoville heat unit rating of 9 million,” Nah, we’re good.

Butt Wait, There’s More!

Tushy – $79 to $109 – Hear us out. Folks think that bidets are too fancy or make you extremely posh, but let us ask you this. Have you ever used one? Just saying, this could be a life changing gift for the spicy lad or lady in your life. It’s a non-battery bidet that simply attaches to your water supply and then uses that pressure for its stream. Also, their marketing and word play falls right in line with ours, so we’re big fans of this cheeky brand.

Poo-Pourri – starting at $9.95 – This stuff is incredible. Really it’s just essential oils that you spray onto the surface of the toilet water and it traps the smell in, but we use it frequently. Especially great for family gatherings, friends-givings or even when you’re alone. Their Master Crapsman set is available for $19.95 and they are also featuring holiday exclusives like tiny christmas sweaters for the Poo-Pourri bottles. 2oz bottles start at $9.95. Makes a perfect stocking stuffer.

Dude Wipes – $15.99 – We haven’t personally tried these, but know men and women that swear by them. Really any soothing aloe wipe could be helpful.

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