Me: “Thank you for calling [Company Support. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Okay, well, you know how the laptop computers look like chairs?”

Me: “I guess I can kinda see how you could possibly think that…”

Customer: “Well, I sat on it, and now it’s broken.”

Me: “Unfortunately, any sort of warranty will not cover accidental damage on the computer.”

Customer: “It wasn’t accidental.”

Me: “If you sat on it, then it is considered accidental damage.”

Customer: “It’s NOT accidental damage! You think somebody just sits on their computer by accident?!”

Me: “Okay… so the computer is damaged, right?”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “So, what would you like me to do for you?”

Customer: “I want you to fix my computer! It’s broken!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but any personal damage done to the computer is not covered under warranty. I can possibly send it in to be fixed, but there will be a charge.”

Customer: “It’s not personal damage! I sat on it!”

Me: “If you sat on the computer, than you damaged it personally, and it is not covered under warranty.”

Customer: “Are you calling me fat?!”