I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE: UNRATED Review [Fantastic Fest 2010]

Posted by Peter Hall - October 3rd 2010 @ 4:16 pm

Directed by Steven R. Monroe, 2010

Written by Stuart Morse

Steven R. Monroe’s remake of I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE is one of the most pathetic films I have ever seen. Â I am aware that is going to sound like exaggeration or a kind of knee-jerk reaction; I assure you it is neither. Â It’s a completely worthless enterprise that offers nothing to the world other than the crushing realization that it exists.

There’s no surprise there, of course. Â It’s a completely mercenary project; a remake of a movie that not many people loved 30+ years ago, but that’s “worth” remaking solely because it has a recognizable title. Â It’s directed by a man whose career is the very definition of director-for-hire (hell, even Monroe’s ICE TWISTERS for Syfy is better than this abysmal piece of shit), it’s written by a first time screenwriter, produced by a first time production company, and it stars a handful of actors vaguely recognizable from small roles on TV shows. Â And I’m not one to hate on “for hire” projects – everyone’s gotta eat- it’s just that the financial motivations are painfully transparent here.

No one cared about exerting any thought toward actually improving on the original, or giving the movie a reason to, well, exist at all. Â They saw an opportunity to capitalize on a name and took it. Â Nevermind bothering to attempt to make it anything unique, that would just complicate their genius formula of “Rape + Rape + 4xMurders = horror”.

If you’ve seen or know anything about the original, you already know what I SPIT YOUR GRAVE is about. Â If not, it’s pretty simple: spend 20 minutes objectifying a very alluring woman, Jennifer (Sarah Butler), and then have her get viciously and repeatedly raped by a bunch of rednecks for no reason whatsoever for about 40 or so minutes. Â Once she’s successfully been put on a sexual pedestal and then savaged, it’s time to show the rednecks’ boring lives (hah, it’s hilarious that the rapist sheriff has a church going family) before spending about 30 minutes having Jennifer miraculously return from her watery grave completely unscathed and kill her rapists by placing them all in traps that were rejected from the SAW franchise for being completely braindead. Â Sounds inspired, doesn’t it?

Normally if I hate a movie, I can at least understand why other people would like it, but I struggle and strain to hypothesize what value can be discerned from I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE. Â Not only is there nothing to like about it, there’s not even anything to professionally respect about it. Â There are competent fundamentals possibly worth acknowledging – the actors are in frame, the cameraman pressed record, no one is holding a script – but there’s not a thing to applaud about it. Â It’s a vile, soulless movie with no purpose, no context, no function, no meaning, no morals, no notions of how to tell a story, no characters of any depth, no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Â The only thing memorable about it is that the entire God damn thing is a steaming box of shit.

Edit: Since a commenter below felt four uses of the word “completely” was not specific enough, I’m just going to add my response to him as a permanent part of this review:

Considering how many times I (quite intentionally) used the word â€œcompletelyâ€ in my review, Iâ€™m not sure where both of you require me to be more specific. I can draw a Venn diagram if you require.

Putting aside the fact that where you commented from leads me to believe you work for the distribution company, what revisions and additions do you like, RLM? The whole point of the original was that it was the â€œDay of the Womanâ€. After being savagely raped by a pack of men, she waits a day and then uses her feminine allure to give the men what they want by seducing them and then killing them. Itâ€™s not great, but itâ€™s at least a vague comment on femme fatales and using sex as a deadly weapon.

In your cherished remake, however, thereâ€™s none of that. Itâ€™s no longer the day after, itâ€™s a month after. Weâ€™re led to believe that a person who a month prior couldnâ€™t use a cell phone without dropping it in the toilet or hold a wine glass without spilling it on herself is suddenly capable of rigging up elaborate traps to put her rapists in? Oh, and that sheâ€™s been surviving on eating swamp rats the entire time, but she looks like she just got out of the spa? No, youâ€™re right; that makes complete sense.

The acting is tremendous and they all â€œtook a riskâ€? You actually thinking signing up for a remake in this day and age is taking a risk? Thatâ€™s about as safe as it gets. As for it having some of the best kill scenes of 2010? You should watch more movies; preferably ones not put out by the company you work for.

As for this review being â€œbroad-spectrum B.S. about the industryâ€, thatâ€™s the entire point of this review. I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE is the vomitous excrement of an industry that is complacent with putting rape after rape and murder after murder on the big screen under no other auspice than to make a quick buck by capitalizing on controversy. Thereâ€™s not even any material in the film that warrants it being â€œunratedâ€, itâ€™s just another marketing gimmick Anchor Bay can use to turn a profit.

What else would you like to talk about?

Tags: Fantastic Fest, I Spit on Your Grave, Sarah Butler, Steven R. Monroe, Stuart Morse