Roughly six minutes into Apple’s annual keynote presentation on Tuesday, I watched with grim fascination as a video game executive guided a digital frog across a bathroom floor in order to carefully avoid scraps of rogue toilet paper, while a second executive provided breathless color commentary.

“Whoa, what is that?" Executive Two whooped. “Is that a giant baby wearing sunglasses?! He’s making quite a mess!” (It was a giant baby; he was being quite messy).

The tightly choreographed scene was a demo of an iPad reboot of the classic “Frogger” game, which Apple was teasing as an example of its new arcade gaming platform. It was also a tidy example of just how peculiar and out of touch the company’s product unveilings have become. And why Apple needs to put an end to its 90-plus minute advertising spectacles .

The evolution of the Apple keynote is understandable. Apple is a global company that changed computing by putting little ones in all our pockets. Their new phones are big deals by virtue of the fact that they’ve sold more than 2.2 billion iOS devices since their debut in 2007. iPhones changed how we communicate with one another and seek information; they’ve addicted us, tethering us to our jobs and helping us feel both attached to and alienated from one another. So it makes sense that we pay attention when the company dreams up a new iteration. Plus, they’re exceedingly shiny and the cameras can turn any point-and-click amateur taking photos of their goofy dog (me!) into Annie Leibovitz.