So, here's what's going on: Nico began growing a mustache for Movember on November 1st. This is what it looked like as of yesterday, November 6.

Wow. That is pathetic. Can you even see a mustache in that picture? If my son can't grow a better 'stache than that by the time he's four, I'm taking him to the doctor to be checked for "Low T."

The challenge is, how many days will it take me to pass Nico? I just shaved last night and this is what I looked like:

Buzz Adams

Smooth as a baby's bottom. My guess is that my mustache will surpass Nico's NO LATER than this Friday. And I'm not even all that hirsute. I have friends that can go full mountain man in less than a week. My friend Lou Romano from KFOX-TV can grow a full beard just by thinking about it really hard. You can see it growing in front of your eyes like a Playdough Barber Shop commercial from the 1970s: