Of course, I’d like nothing better than to be able to stand with Jeff Flake (R-Ariz.) and Bob Corker (R-Liddle, Tenn.) and John McCain (R-Captured, Ariz.) and even former president George W. Bush (R-If George W. Bush Has Correctly Concluded That He Looks Good by Comparison, Then … God Help Us) to say that reelection is not worth sacrificing our fundamental American values. But then I would be guaranteed a primary challenge from whatever ghoul Stephen K. Bannon has been nursing beneath his leathery wings, and we can’t risk that.

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So instead, I am saying… nothing. And throwing my support behind Roy Moore.

Grandchildren’s eyes are overrated. They’re just eyes. I can look into the eyes of other, unrelated children if I ever really feel the need to look into a child’s eyes and get much the same effect.

I don’t even need to be able to look at myself in a mirror, when it comes to that. I can just look at the red blinking eye of the Fox News camera as I say something like, “I think we need to stop opposing the president’s agenda.”

I’d love to agree with Jeff Flake that rage is not a governing philosophy. But, you know, what if rage IS a governing philosophy? I don’t want to be the one who says it isn’t, given whose votes I’ve been courting lately.

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At a certain point we have to ask, “Is this really cat food that we’re putting out? Every cat we’ve fed it to has died, and the only thing that shows up reliably now are armadillos with strong negative feelings about immigration.” That is what I would say, if I didn’t think that expressing such an opinion was political suicide.

“The fact that expressing this opinion is political suicide should make us all very worried.” I would say that too, but, again, you know, the fear.

There are things more valuable than reelection, but I don’t remember what they are.