The words "transgender" and "bathroom" are not listed on the Duval County School Board's official 627-page agenda for Monday night's meeting.

Yet the subject is bound to come up.

At least one human rights ordinance foe, the Rev. Kenneth Adkins, said he plans to hold a prayer vigil at district headquarters Monday just before the meeting.

District officials have said they hear that other people want to make comments at the meeting, too.

At least two transgender high school students, Ryan Stalvey, 16, and Drew Adams, 15, last week talked in advance of the meeting about their lives, hoping people understand that many transgender youth already face multiple fears every day - at home and at school.

Bathroom and locker room issues are just the latest struggle for them.

Ryan, who just finished his sophomore year at Paxon High School for Advanced Studies in Jacksonville, has had many conflicts since "coming out" in spring 2014 as a transgender student.

"I've gone through so much," he said. "I didn't wake up one day and say, 'I'm going to decide to ruin the rest of my life.'"

Ryan for years had been considered a tomboy; he wore his hair short and chose to be a Power Ranger for Halloween.

PARENTS UPSET WITH MOVE

Ryan said he "came out" as transgender to his parents in May 2014, while in eighth grade and before Caitlyn Jenner's public debut. But his parents still pressured him to dress and act like a girl and to use his legal female name.

Ryan has accused them of abusing him.

He said his father, Brian Stalvey, left their home last year after some instances of abuse.

Brian Stalvey, when reached by phone Thursday, hung up rather than comment for this story.

Ryan's mother, Maiko Stalvey, was secretly videotaped in January in their home. She was on top of Ryan, straddling him on a couch, yelling and wrestling with him to remove the tie and boy's dress shirt he was wearing.

Ryan said he hid the camera in a pillow in the living room to prove he was being abused. The video feed went to a friend's cellphone.

Maiko Stalvey was arrested, but a battery charge was not formally filed after she agreed to counseling and community service. She did not return a phone call seeking comment, and her attorney declined comment.

Although Ryan said he has since been removed from their home, his parents retain legal custody.

Ryan lives with the family of his best friend, another transgender student at Paxon, and has tried and so far failed to have custody transferred to them.

"They loved me so much before; I'd like to believe they still love me," Ryan said of his parents. "But that's kind of hard to say. … I don't know why my parents won't sign me over if they don't want me."

PROBLEMS ARISE

At school, most students and teachers are supportive, Ryan said, although not everyone has been accommodating.

For instance, an ROTC Junior Reserve Officer Training instructor at Paxon has refused to issue him a boy's uniform for workouts, and he refuses to wear a girl's uniform, so he brings his own clothes.

Ryan said he joined the ROTC to avoid taking gym and the inevitable conflicts over gym locker use.

"One time I went to a female locker room, all the girls paused and said, 'Ryan, you need to get out. This is so weird. You need to leave,'" he said.

During the first week of his freshman year, several seniors dumped lemonade on his head and called him a slur against lesbians.

"I was harassed at my locker every morning, but I never reported it," Ryan said. One day the verbal taunts and shoving were caught on a school monitor and an administrator, against Ryan's wishes, informed his mother.

She yelled at Ryan about it and threatened to put him out of school, he said.

He has had teachers tell him it is a "privilege" to be referred to as Ryan and with masculine pronouns, but that privilege could be revoked. At school, one girl in class continually referred to Ryan as a girl and used his legal name, he said, and the teacher allowed it.

'THIS IS WHO I AM'

Ryan said he pulled the teacher aside and said, "This is who I am. Everyone's going to call me Ryan and I'm going to write Ryan on my papers because this is who I am."

Although he is more comfortable standing up for himself now, he says it's hard when you are a 5-foot-3, slightly built student. He longs for the day he'll begin testosterone therapy, which many transgender students use to physically transform their bodies. But Ryan said his parents won't allow it.

Until then, he said, his friend, 18-year-old Kyler Shelley, has helped him learn to pick his battles.

"When someone would bully me, I would just sit down and shut up," Ryan said of his younger years. "I used to respect people out of fear. Now, I really call them out."

Paxon officials have told him he should continue using the single-gender bathroom, which is in a building containing freshman classrooms, Ryan said.

He said he'll try, but on Paxon's sprawling campus, he might sometimes have to use the men's room.

"We have bigger issues to worry about than are they going to legally let me use the bathroom here," he said. "We're going to do it anyway."

Ryan said he looks forward to the day when transgender students won't face bullying at school or at home.

NO LONGER SHY

Drew, who just finished his freshman year at Nease High in St. Johns County, said his family and most people at school are supportive, which makes a big difference in his outlook.

He has gone from being a depressed youth who contemplated suicide and couldn't stand his image in the mirror to a young man who feels at home with himself, is no longer shy and no longer suffers from anxiety attacks.

That doesn't mean bathrooms and lockers don't cause him some pause.

"I know what I'm afraid of - assault in the bathroom," he said.

No one at school has physically bothered him when he has used the boys bathroom, though now he complies with school rules and uses a gender-less bathroom.

"One person leaving the bathroom said to someone behind me, 'Watch out; there's a boy-slash-girl in there,'" Drew said.

"I used the bathroom and left. Surprisingly, no one got murdered; no children got raped."

Drew began testosterone injection therapy Thursday, which involves a seven-hour drive with his mother to Durham, N.C., for treatments which will ultimately give him a deeper voice, a changed body and facial hair.

The shots will continue for the rest of his life.

His mother, Erica Adams Kasper, is active in transgender groups. She said transgender kids are bullied already without the current bathroom controversy, but it's all because of people's ignorance.

She and Drew talked about planning some local educational efforts, even possibly going door-to-door to introduce themselves to people. Kasper said such techniques have been known to help with gay rights issues.

"If we can make people understand that there is nothing to be afraid of, then they won't have to worry about bullying because there won't be so much fear," she said.

Denise Amos: (904) 359-4083