Top Four Galore

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Welcome to top four galore. This section will review the top four spots in the premier league and their performances to date. I want to look at how and why these teams are where they are, and give a piece of my mind about where I think they’ll end up. It’s been about as crazy of a BPL season as I’ve ever witnessed, with top to bottom parity that leaves fans scratching their heads week after week. This excludes Aston Villa of course – they’ve been complete shit and an utter embarrassment to watch. Other than that, buckle your seatbelts because if you can predict the league this year, you’re a wizard.

1.Leicester City

Let’s start with a round of applause. Please, clap out loud for 5-10 seconds and smile warmheartedly while you consider the fantastic achievement this team has made this season. Claudio Ranieri – you’re a dog. Everything has gone right from top to bottom. They flew out of the gates with blinding force this august, punishing unsuspecting league giants and mid-table stalwarts alike with their brutally incisive attack, and their surprisingly tight defense. Their plus 20 goal differential tells that story well enough, with 47 goals for and 27 against, but what’s missing from the stat line is the sheer brilliance of their football. For years to come, Leicester FC fans will stare longingly off into space as they dream of the days when Jamie Vardy and Riyad Mahrez put 30 million pound center backs on their ass and left goalkeepers of immense quality to ball-shag their own net. One week ago, as I watched Vardy ping a 25 yard strike first-time from a 40 yard Mahrez through ball, I thought to myself, wow, this is the greatest team in british football, and I’m not afraid to say it. This past weekend, when Mahrez shook Nicolas Otamendi out of his socks and stroked a near post beauty past Joe Hart, I came to better terms with the semi-orgasmic sensation that football is truly meant to bring. Oh and let’s not forget that midfield – Kante and Drinkwater have left their souls on the pitch day in and day out, avoiding injury with a ferocious level of fitness that I can only hope will become the running standard of energy in the BPL. They’ve held onto their star players until at least the summer, and as long as those guys stay healthy the title is in their grasp. I’m long past the point of questioning their belief.

2. Tottenham Hotspur

Now this team has a special place in my heart. Good old spurs, the alma mater of my favorite hero and Irish footballing legend Robbie Keane. Back in the peak days of Keane and Berbatov’s dominance, Tottenham’s attacking football was arguably the best in the league. Now, they have returned to such a standard, and they’ve done it in mouthwatering fashion. Not quite as explosive and flashy as Leicester, but equally admirable nonetheless – they’ve used their own youth, and scouted superbly to build a cost-effective team that revolves around a central attacking identity with Kane leading the lines. Pocchetino said it well, refusing to trifle with 10-20 million pound solid squad additions in the winter – why add anything but an absolute world class player to this squad? He has all the depth he needs right under his nose. While Bentaleb and Mason have some developing to do, the addition of Dele Allí has been superb, bringing a once title-questionable team to the level of a distinct title-contender. You just get the sense there is a firm consistency about this team and a resolve that has passed the test of time – a year ago, Harry Kane was netting winners and equalizers in the dying minutes of seemingly every game he played. Now, Harry Kane is setting the tone early on with decisive strikes from the regular run of play, using his physical power and guile to unravel defenses. The sturdiness of the backline between Vertonghen and Alderweireld has been superb as well – Spurs must be particularly delighted to get such quality out of the latter, who has faced questionable spells with Southampton and Roma in the past. Their plus 26 goal differential tells the tale of a team that has evolved from escape artists to regular studio professionals. They are the only team that has me convinced they’re ready to go after Leicester, and second place suits them well.

3. Arsenal

My positivity runs a little thin here. I have nothing against Arsenal. Nothing at all. They just seem to have something against themselves. Year after year I’ve seen this team fighting for premier league dominance in the wake of some fantastic prem-winning squads. They’ve lost out traditionally to other traditional big-money British giants like United, City, and Chelsea, and you could almost feel for them then. Because back then, it felt like money really ran the league. Money = quality = success. That was the formula. Arsenal have a ton of money, but maybe not quite as much as those three… so yeah, the Gunners get Giroud, City gets Aguero, and all the fans can gripe with mild claims while the rest of us roll our eyes. But in a season with such immense parity from the cheapest to richest of clubs, you’d have to expect they’d be leading the lines. Chelsea are down for the count. Manchester United are devolving slowly into a mid-league club (for now). Manchester City are still the petulant and overpaid talents they’ve always been, experiencing a poor year by their standards. Where is the Gunner identity? Aside from a sparkling Mesut Ozil – who has affectionately reminded me of a young Denis Bergkamp/Rajon Rondo bastard child born in outer space, adding a competitive ferocity to his approach unseen in previous years – the team just can’t figure out how to win the big games. Away at Southampton several weeks ago, I watched as the gunners failed to capitalize on an opportunity to go clear at the top, losing 3-0 in utterly disastrous fashion in a game that might well have turned the Saint’s year around. I hate to say it, but Champions don’t do that. For the past few years they’ve been the team that finishes strong and squeezes past Everton or Tottenham to grab that top four spot, which is nice if you’re a fan I suppose. But quality must also be defined by consistency, and by that definition they have a long way to go. Only five points out of first place, they’re far from out of the race. A win against Bournemouth at the weekend was important. But you have to feel that with the BPL looking like it is now, Arsenal have a long way to go before they convince anyone they’re championship quality.

4. Manchester City

Honestly, who knows what to make of this team at any given time. If you have a good idea, let me know. As far as I can tell, they spend half their season on vacation, and half their season giving a shit, and both of those attitudes still manage to provide stellar results by most clubs standards. Many would chalk that up to their hundred-plus million pound squad, and I’d probably agree. But it’s just not good enough this year, and we all know it. Sure they’ve won the league twice since their financial takeover and sure they’ve played gorgeous football at times… but losing 3-1 at home this weekend to Leicester is very telling of how incapable their team is of changing gears and matching the urgency of a club that wants a BPL title more than Oliver Twist wants a bowl of soup. We saw Leicester do the same thing at home to Chelsea a few weeks back, defeating a holding-style team with an aggressive high line designed to test the true comfort of so called “star players.” Chelsea failed the test, and so did Manchester City. For years this team has dominated under an assumption of respect from their opposition – I mean really, who walks into the Etihad and thinks they’re going to walk out with anything more than a point? But teams like Leicester and Tottenham (who they face this coming weekend) don’t give a shit about that, especially not this season. Manchester City have to re-establish their identity in the premier league; they need to find a way to once again instil fear into the hearts of teams walking into the Etihad. I get the sense this team is a ticking time bomb, especially with Sergio Aguero leading the lines. It’s a question of if/when the bomb will go off.

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