Laura Ingraham and Michael Savage despair over our nation's lack of leadership, while Rush Limbaugh cries foul at being called a racist.

Rush Limbaugh

Rush Limbaugh

Limbaugh was offended by an article that appeared in Mediaite suggesting that he was introducing race into an issue in an inappropriate way because of remarks he made on a previous show about Attorney General Eric Holder (listen to clip). (Holder had objected to claims the justice department went easy in a voting rights case against members of the New Black Panther party because they are black.)

I get up today and I get an email from somebody, "Do you realise you're being attacked for introducing race into this story?" I said, "What? I am being attacked for introducing race into the story?" "Yeah, it's at Mediaite." So I went to Mediaite, and indeed, I, El Rushbo, am being accused of introducing race, once again in a very risky way, into the story of Eric Holder suggesting he didn't want to go anywhere near the Black Panther story because it hurt him because those are his people. And I'm the one injecting race.

Limbaugh couldn't understand where Mediaite could be coming from, thinking he was a racist for suggesting that the attorney general, who is black, chose not to fully prosecute a case because the defendants were black. He was further troubled by Mediaite's claims that this was not the first time Limbaugh has spoken inappropriately about race.

You hit the link and it goes to another Mediaite story in which they had a cow because we learned the abortion rate in New York, Planned Parenthood. I simply categorised that as Planned Parenthood finishing the job the Klan never could. I didn't know, but that set 'em off. Oh, yeah, that blew 'em a new one.

Presumably, Limbaugh is referring to a census report that shows that the abortion rate for African American women in New York is approximately six times the abortion rate for white women, which he portrayed as meaning that 60% of all African American babies in New York are aborted (a gross misinterpretation, to say the least).

Meanwhile, the left can say and do anything. In fact, the left can abort 60% of black babies, and that's cool. Let me report it and all hell breaks loose. So I point all this out and it proves that we conservatives are not allowed to mention a word, we're not allowed to talk about it, we can't even report it. They can sit there and literally preside over the death of 60% of black babies in the womb via Planned Parenthood and it's none of your business – Limbaugh, you shut up: very racist of you to mention that.

Limbaugh's distortion of the statistics aside, someone on his staff might want to advise him that there really isn't any way of injecting the phrase "finishing off the work of the Klan" into a sentence without giving the abiding impression that you are an unrepentant racist.

Laura Ingraham

Laura Ingraham

Michelle Obama got on Ingraham's wrong side again by appearing on the cartoon network encouraging children to eat well and exercise (listen to clip). To make matters worse, Chris Christie, governor of New Jersey and rising star of the GOP, was heard saying, in public, that he didn't find anything terribly objectionable about Michelle Obama's attempt to make America's children healthier.

Chris Christie out there swinging for the first lady, protecting her from all those mean conservatives who write books ridiculing the use of platforms – like being first lady – to force government to spend billions of dollars on salad bars in schools and fitness programmes that frankly bore people. Healthy choices and healthy eating options that children turn their noses up at. Yeah, we're just a bunch of meanies. We don't know anything!

What's worse (than Ingraham having her cartoon hour interrupted) is that yet another GOP presidential hopeful has failed her. Christie's endorsement of healthy eating, just like Mitch Daniels having once hosted a fundraiser for Planned Parenthood and Mitt Romney having provided healthcare to the uninsured in Massachusetts, seem to make them unelectable in Ingraham's eyes. The only plausible candidate left is Newt Gingrich, who is still "dithering" over a decision to run. The stress of all this is wreaking havoc with Ingraham's sinus problems.

I took one of those Sudafed things Raymond said "oh, this will dry up your post nasal drip." I think it made it worse and it put me on edge, which is not good when I'm hosting a show. I'm not a big fan of that. I like the old Dristan in the glass bottle that had no child safety cap on it. The Dristan, maybe I could find that.

The prospect of finding over-the-counter medication free of interfering child safety caps seems to cheer Ingraham up a bit – until she starts thinking about President Obama again and what she believes are fraudulent attempts to reach across the aisle and appease conservatives.

We're all for flexibility and if the states have some good ideas, well, they can implement them and I'm sure we can work it out. I'm giving permits to some of that drilling down there on the Gulf coast: we just gave one permit, OK. And Romney's a good guy, I like Romney: he's got some good ideas. He did some good stuff with his own healthcare reform. He's trying to do all this stuff to make it appear, with this PR razzle-dazzle, that he's someone that he's not OK, and meanwhile, we for the life of us can't get a Republican slate of candidates to run up against this guy.

If Ingraham thought it through, she might realise that her chronic distaste for compromise might have something to do with that.

Michael Savage

Michael Savage

It was another tough day on the Savage Nation, where once again, the host realises that he is the only person who can see the danger we are in (listen to clip).

"It's very hard to have fun today on the radio, I got to tell you. When we have a man who is so completely disconnected from reality in the White House, and we have a complicit media and we have a Hollywood that is so disconnected from reality that it is obsessed with a drug-addicted, wife-beating fool, and we have a Hitler in our own midst and no one in the media will say that Farrakhan is a Hitler in our own midst, tell me how we're going to save this nation."

Savage was not just upset about incendiary comments made by Louis Farrakhan sympathising with his "brother" Gaddafi and suggesting that Jews and Zionists are trying to push the US into war, but also by his (Savage's) belief that no one is paying attention.

You're obsessed with Charlie Sheen, right, that's what you want to know about and what drugs he used and which hookers he was with, because that's all the people with the oral disorder of media are feeding you. Day and night, day and night, hooker, hooker, hooker, drug, drug, drug, Charlie Sheen, that's all!

Savage tries to divert us from our Sheen obsession by pointing to the many shortcomings our president possesses such as "irritable Bolshevik syndrome", "dietary hypocrisy disorder" and "a chronic dislike of men-in-fatigues syndrome", which he seems to believe account for Obama's failure to denounce and de-friend Farrakhan.

Now that we see that Hitler is alive and well in Chicago and a good friend of Obama, no doubt, now that Obama has not disavowed his relationship with Farrakhan. They live near each other! They work together as community organisers! My friends, we tried to warn you. You didn't want to believe us, you called us everything under the sun. We warned you who Obama was, we warned you, warned you, warned you!

Our national obsession with Charlie Sheen is starting to look healthy.