Botchamania Fan Awards 2014

Better late than never, right? This is the first time asking you, the loyal fans, what you think of the product so let’s see if this was a good idea or not. Anything in quotation marks are quotes from the voters themselves.

Canadian Network (WWE Botch Of 2014)

1. UK Network delayed fifteen minutes before it was due to go live



2. Cameron’s front pin



3. Kane tripping over Randy Orton



4. Royal Rumble



5. Here At The Silverdome

Mentions…



Cena vs. Wyatt at Extreme Rules, Orton landing on the monitor at ‘Mania.

Maffew Says…



The UK Network being delayed fifteen minutes before it was supposed to go live (after previous delays) reminded us of British Rail, which is probably why it won over Cameron, Kane etc.

Fans Say…



”Giving Reigns a mic”

Even Russo Left (TNA Botch Of 2014)

1. The phantom ref bump at Sacrifice



2. Thrown off Spike



3. AJ Styles leaving/not getting re-signed



4. Getting caught still employing Russo



5. Eric Young as Champ

Mentions…



Taz referring to Dynamite Kid as deceased, Tag team champions of the WAAAAHHH, Crowd chanting CM Punk at Lockdown

Maffew Says…



Voting on the biggest TNA mistake was like the scene in Full Metal Jacket where everyone beats Private Pyle with soap in socks.

Fans Say…



”Still existing”

Indy Botch Of 2014

1. Styles Clash breaking necks



2. IWRG ladder match



3. ROH feuding with Michael Elgin



4. Alex Koslov’s failed dive at King of Pro Wrestling



5. Luke Hawx on Twitter

Mentions…



Ring of Honor still letting Jay Briscoe have the title

Maffew Says…



Like CM Punk’s departure, The Styles Clash Killing Spree created a lot of debate this year, but I think we can all agree his shirt was an even bigger botch.

Fans Say…



”matt taven joining the kingdom, and looking like kenny g”

NOW HAVE SOME FUN, DAMMIT (Worst Promo/Segment Of 2014)

1. Bellas and Jerry Springer



2. Dean Ambrose and the mannequin



3. The one with the two ladies during the cancer awareness month



4. Roman Reigns at TLC ”and making his Robert De Niro face”



5. Hogan at Wrestlemania XXX

Mentions…



Roman Reigns via satellite, Dixie Carter in general

Maffew Says…



The Bellas were bad but guests using a Cancer Awareness segment to plug their brand of wine are a special kind of cunt.

Fans Say…



”that one where triple h talked for 20 minutes”

Jaden Smith Memorial Trophy (Social Media Fuck-Up Of 2014)

1. Vince burying Cesaro and the other Millennials



2. ADR getting racially insulted by the social media guy, attacking, getting released, social media guy tweeting that ADR deserved it



3. Ryback’s action figure picture of CM Punk and the broken table



4. Jay Briscoe’s Homophobia



5. Cesaro tweeting no-one wanted to see Cena vs. Orton for the 500th time

Mentions…



Velvet Sky’s Nude Leak, Dixie Carter comparing a storm hitting Japan during a Tsunami

Maffew Says…



Josh Matthews tweeting ”If you are over 60, just go away” to Jim Ross recently means he’s a shoe-in for next year’s awards. edit: He’ll tie with Seth Rollins.

Fans Say…



”I’m not hip enough to answer this”

Mickey Rourke fighting a homeless guy (Worst Match Of 2014)

1. Big Show vs. Erick Rowan (Stairs Match) TLC



2. Divas Elimination, Survivor Series



3. Undertaker vs. Brock Lesnar, Wrestlemania XXX



4. Batista vs Alberto Del Rio, Elimination Chamber



5. El Torito vs. Mini Gator (any that wasn’t WEELC)

Mentions…



Brock Lesnar vs Big Show, Kane vs. Ryback (Chair Match)

Maffew Says…



Using wrestlers to get an inanimate object over is amazing. Especially when that object is Big Show.

Fans Say…



Pretty much every divas match got a vote

I Am Legend (Worst Match Ending Of 2014)

1. Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt, TLC



2. Hologram In A Cell



3. ”That Damn Choir Kid” at Extreme Rules



4. Royal Rumble match



5. The streak ending

Mentions…



Most of Dean Ambrose’s Matches since The Shield break-up

Maffew Says…



At least the streak ending was used on Brock who then held the title for months. The Choir Kid, the Exploding TV and The Hologram aren’t teaming up anytime soon. Maybe in Chikara.

Fans Say…



”It’s the Raw main event. That means we’re not actually going to HAVE a finish”

Wade Barrett Award That’s Not For Wade Barrett (Bad News Of 2014)

1. CM Punk leaving



2. Bryan injured, vacates WWE World Title



3. The Ultimate Warrior passing away



4. 3MB split up



5. Wade Barrett injured, vacates IC Title

Mentions…



Corey Graves retires due to concussions

Maffew Says…



CM Punk was the wrestling version of GamerGate, where it became impossible to engage in a normal conversation without it degenerating into insults and dickery. So I’m going to stop typing…now.

Fans Say…



”robin Williams dying”

AMMA COMPLAIN ON TWITTER (Depush Of 2014)

1. Cesaro



2. Bo Dallas



3. Bray Wyatt



4. Damien Sandow



5. Big E

Mentions…



Dolph Ziggler

Maffew Says…



Cesaro received approximately 90% of the votes due to his position on the card going up and down like a whore’s drawers.

Fans Say…



”Adam Rose getting depushed before he even had a chance to get pushed.”

As Popular As Sin City 2 (Worst PPV/Supershow Of 2014)

1. Battleground



2. Royal Rumble



3. TLC



4. Bound For Glory



5. Night Of Champions

Mentions…



Every WWE & TNA PPV got at least one vote.

Maffew Says…



I’m glad TLC didn’t win, because it at least had Ziggler vs. Harper. A mild PPV that people watched is worse than a crap PPV that people didn’t watch? Anyway, Battleground lied and pissed people off so yeah.

Fans Say…



”Some TNA show deserves it, but as I don’t watch TNA, I’ll give to TLC ”



”Would of required me to actually give a fuck about the latter half of the year.”

Drunk Boris Johnson (Worst Talker of 2014)

1. Roman Reigns



2. Nikki Bella



3. John Cena



4. Brie Bella



5. Dixie Carter

Mentions…



Cameron, Magnus

Maffew Says…



That backlash didn’t take long. I don’t understand why Roman’s trying to sound like a gangsta after years of being soft-spoken. ”Baleee dat, up in this bitch!”

Fans Say…



‘Great Khali. I dont’ care if he talked or not, he’s alive.”



”Bray Wyatt. Started off loving his promo work but since I realised that anything he says never leads to anything interesting I feel like nodding off during a Wyatt promo now”

ASTIN SLOD OT (Sign Of 2014)

1. Can Someone Check My Staph Infection?



2. Titty Master



3. Stop putting Fake Crowd Noise on Smackdown



4. Why is your hair so wet?



5. Cena has Clap

Mentions…



Purple Aki, John Cena Turn Heel You Douche, I’m a Jay Hunter Guy

Sin Cara Memorial Trophy (Worst Wrestler Of 2014)

1. Khali



2. Eva Marie



3. John Cena



4. Big Show



5. Kane

Mentions…



The Bunny, Ryback, Cameron

Maffew Says…



I can’t believe Khali won. It’s like an honorary award this year as he’s (hopefully) not going to wrestle again, so he can have it. I’ll worry if he wins it next year. Eva Marie was mostly used in tag matches this year, which was a good idea. And then they put her on NXT in a singles match.

Fans Say…



”Arnold Swartzanigger”



”the sercirty staff”



”Cameron. ( Every time I see her I pray that no one dies in that ring) ”

Fred & Mae West (Worst Tag Team of 2014)

1. The Bunny and Adam Rose



2. Slater Gator



3. Los Matadores



4. Gunnar and Samuel Shaw



5. Rybaxel

Mentions…



The Gracies, Big Show & Mark Henry

Maffew Says…



I’m gutted to see so many people voting for Slater Gator when they were several hundred times more entertaining than Los Matadores, but were cursed with bad booking. I assumed everyone online loved Bunny & Rose so I’m happy to see them ‘win.’

Fans Say…



”chuckle brothers”

”Here comes Robocop!” (Worst Publicity/Celebrity Involvement)

1. Kathie Lee and Hoda



2. Grumpy Cat



3. Larry the Cable Guy



4. Jerry Springer



5. Florida Georgia Line

Mentions…



Tito Ortiz & Rampage, Seth Green

Maffew Says…



KATHIE LEE AND HODA GOT MORE VOTES THAN GRUMPY CAT. Is there a worse insult?

Fans Say…



”The chick from love and hip hop or whatever the fuck it is in Atlanta”



”Those two old cunts on Raw”



”They are all shit”

whatever that show is that Americans watch with the girl who dances and her mum’s Jabba (Worst Weekly Show Of 2014)

1. Raw



2. Impact



3. SmackDown



4. Total Divas



5. Main Event

Fans Say…



”Is superstars still on?”



(on Raw) ”it’s three hours”

Emmerdale Forever (Best Weekly Show of 2014)

1. NXT



2. Lucha Underground



3. ROH TV



4. Raw



5. Impact

Fans Say…



”men in black 2”

Ian McKellen & Patrick Stewart (Best Tag Team of 2014)

1. Stardust & Goldust



2. The Young Bucks



3. Miz & Mizdow



4. The Usos



5. reDRagon

Mentions…



The Ascension, Harper & Rowan

Maffew Says…



The votes were crazily close, which is a hell of a compliment to The Young Bucks & reDragon considering they’re technically indy. Amazing The Dusts won despite barely any feuds last year (Rybaxel, The Usos and….er The New Age Outlaws).

Fans Say…



”The Kicky Japanese Dude & “The Irish Guy” : D”

Lego Of The Galaxy (Best or Favourite Wrestler of 2014)

1. Dean Ambrose



2. Sami Zayn



3. Dolph Ziggler



4. Seth Rollins



5. Finn Bálor

Mentions…



Adrian Neville

Maffew Says…



Spoilt for choice this year. ”All of NXT” could have been a choice.

Fans Say…



”Punk wrestled once i think so we just go with him.”

The Raid 2 (Best or Favourite Indy Wrestler of 2014)

1. Adam Cole



2. Kevin Steen



3. AJ Styles



4. Grado



5. Prince Devitt

Mentions…



Jay Lethal, Will Osprey, Drew Galloway, Michael Elgin

Maffew Says…



Grado at Number 4? Geddin! I mean, Cole, Steen, Styles etc. are great but they’re expected to get lots of votes. Grado Grado Grado.

Fans Say…



”i don’t watch indian wrestling”

Chris Kamara (Best Talker of 2014)

1. Paul Heyman



2. Dean Ambrose



3. Triple H



4. Stardust



5. EC3

Mentions…



Enzo Amore, MVP

Maffew Says…



Heyman was first by a country mile. It could be argued that Heyman is a hindrance to Raw because all he does is highlight how poor the other wrestlers are on the mic by comparison. I’ll look at it the other way: He guarantees at least one reason to watch WWE.

Fans Say…



‘Thunderbolt Patterson”

Booze & Italian Food (Best Match of 2014)

1. Zayn vs Neville, REvolution



2. The Shield vs Wyatt Family, Elimination Chamber



3. The Shield Vs Evolution, Extreme Rules



4. Survivor Series Main Event, Survivor Series



5. Bray Wyatt vs Daniel Bryan, Royal Rumble

Mentions…



Wolves vs Team 3D vs Hardy Boyz (Full Metal Mayhem)



Young Bucks vs reDRagon, War Of The Worlds



Brock Lesnar vs. John Cena, Summerslam



Daniel Bryan vs. Triple H, Wrestlemania XXX

Maffew Says…



All great choices but Zayn & Neville had the most emotion around it so they deserved the win. Surprised at the lack of love for Bryan and Wrestlemania but fuck it.

Fans Say…



”Dean Ambrose with the hot dog cart”

IT’S ME AUSTIN, IT WAS ME ALL ALONG AUSTIN (Best Promo/Segment of 2014)

1. The Shield breaks up



2. Eat, Sleep, Suplex, Repeat



3. Daniel Bryan turns on The Wyatt Family



4. Sami Zayn wins NXT Title, Owens attacks



5. Warrior’s last promo

Mentions…



Sting’s debut, Occupy Raw, BLOOD PISS VOMIT.

Maffew Says…



Not a lot of love for Triple H’s ”tweeting your displeasure” promo but Heyman’s promos alone could have filled the list twice. Also of note, Rybaxel’s amicable break-up which no-one saw because it occurred on fucking Superstars.

”OH FUCK” (Spot/Move Of 2014)

1. Seth Rollins’ dive off the balcony, Extreme Rules



2. Brock Lesnar’s suplexes, Summerslam



3. Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins fall, Hell In A Cell



4. Dean Ambrose elbow drop, TLC



5. Meltzer Driver (in general, I guess)

Mentions…



Cesaro lifts Big Show at Wrestlemania

Maffew Says…



Every time Brock hit a suplex, me and the rest of the room jumped up and shouted ”YES!” so that was my pick because of the calories I burnt.

Fans Say…



”Most of the stuff kalisto does!!”

Maggle Owen on BT Sports (Worst Commentator of 2014)

1. Maggle Cole



2. Jerry Lawler



3. Taz



4. JBL



5. Mike Tenay

Mentions…



Byron Saxton

Maffew Says…



I disagree with Cole being worse than Lawler, but it’s really like deciding between eating dog shit or cat shit at this point.

Fans Say…



”they are all fucking shit” (this was typed more than once)

Jim Bah Gawd Ross (Best Commentator of 2014)

1. William Regal



2. Renee Young



3. JBL



4. Matt Striker



5. Steve Corino

Mentions…



Billy Kirkwood, Corey Graves, Tom Phillips

Maffew Says…



Regal only won by two votes. Well done Renee! JBL being high on this and the worse commentator list shows how divisive reaction to him is. I personally like him because I’m usually drunk when watching Raw too.

Fans Say…



”Shinpei Nogami (Don’t know what he’s saying, but his enthusiasm adds so much to matches)”

Grabbing The Brass Ring (Repackage Of 2014)

1. Damien Mizdow



2. Tyson Kidd



3. Stardust



4. Dean Ambrose



5. AJ Styles

Mentions…



Erick Rowan, Bad News Barrett, The Miz

Maffew Says…



Mizdow went from a mildly amusing idea to a great one that’s dragged both Damien and Miz into relevance again. Kidd has been great but he’s still not been able to make people care about Nattie matches yet.

Fans Say…



”Zack Ryder, as the Invisible Man”

2015 Is Gonna Be This Person’s Year (One To Watch)

1. Dolph Ziggler



2. Dean Ambrose



3. Kevin Owens



4. Finn Balor



5. Cesaro

Mentions…



Sami Zayn, Mark Andrews, Adrian Neville

Maffew Says…



I personally think Ziggler peaked in 2013 and it’s all downhill for him now, but I’d like to be proven wrong. My money’s on Ambrose.

Fans Say…



”Nick Gage is up for parole”

Milton From Office Space (Why’s This Person Still Employed?)

1. David Otunga



2. Eva Marie



3. Fandango



4. Big Show



5. Hornswoggle

Mentions…



Rosa Mendes, Mr. Anderson, Great Khali (despite getting released, still got a bunch of votes)

Maffew Says…



…I forgot Otunga existed.

Fans Say…



”The South African guy”



”Everybody is doing fine”

Weird Porn (Best Internet Wrestling Thing. Don’t vote for Botchamania)

1. OSW Review



2. RKOouttanowhere



3. Attitude Era Podcast



3. Wrestling Memes



4. Heelbook



5. Kayfabe News

Mentions…



The Art of Wrestling, Cranky Vince, Squared Circle sending a fruit basket to Triple H, Wrestling With Text

Maffew Says…



Wrestling fans know that as bad as wrestling on TV is, there’ll be some way to be amused online. Well done OSW.

Fans Say…



*names own show* ”I’m a host lol”

So that’s the end of the fan-voting, thanks to everyone who voted.



I did this all in one stint and I’m going to go sleep now.