"No pleasure, no rapture, no exquisite sin greater... than central air." Jason Lee said that in the 1999 movie "Dogma."

You would think air conditioning would be something on which we can all agree, but you would be WRONG! That's right, air conditioning is now sexist.

Over at The Washington Post, writer Petula Dvorak theorizes that intensely cold office temperatures are yet another example of the patriarchy dominating an environment. Dvorak researched this by talking to both women and men who are outside on their breaks away from their cubicles. Many of the women were “thawing out,” trying to soak up the warm weather. When the men were asked if the temperature inside their offices was too, they had no issues. How nice for them. Dvorak observes that the women are dressed appropriately for summer weather, but once they step inside, have to resort to cardigans and pashminas to keep from freezing. In an office I worked at where the majority of the staff was women, blankets and scarves were draped over numerous chairs. Back in my old teen days of working at a retail store (Hot Topic), I’d constantly complain about the blasting AC. My manager (a man) would say that cold temperatures kept workers awake and more alert.

So not only is it sexist, but it's double-secret-sexist.

Firstly, I find it hilarious that we consider Petula Dvorak to be "theorizing." I know technically, the definition of the word is applicable here, but usually it's reserved for things like cold fusion theory, economic models or hell, even whether a Gorilla could beat a Grizzly bear in a fist-fight. Air conditioning is so trivial, it doesn't really warrant "theorizing" so much as turning the thermostat half an inch counter-clockwise.

Secondly, does anyone else find it ironic that feminists are accusing men of secretly stacking the deck against women in order to get them to... put on more clothes? Wouldn't it be more reasonable to assume that men would more likely crank up the heat to get women to strip down? First step: set thermostat to 91 degrees. Second step: pitch "Casual Bra and Panty Friday."

We're setting the mark...this is the most ridiculous feminist outrage you're going to see this week.

Send me any articles you think prove us wrong. Tweet them to @Scrowder