Arsene Wenger has been charged with ‘improper conduct’ by UEFA for comments he made about, and possibly to, referee Damir Skomina after Arsenal’s 3-0 win over AC Milan last night.

Wenger was unhappy that every time a Milan player fell over, Skomina fell for it and gave a free kick, saying in his post-game press conference, “I was not happy with the referee tonight because I felt he gave many free kicks in the middle of the park. Every time [Milan’s players] went down a free kick was given to them, and they sensed that very quickly and used it very well.”

Sky Italia reported from the touchline at the final whistle that the Slovenian referee actually ran off down the tunnel at the final whistle, shrieking “DON’T TOUCH ME! DON’T TOUCH ME!” as Wenger tried to speak to him about his performance.

What a drama queen. Still, this is no surprise as Wenger and UEFA have been uneasy bedfellows for some time. This season the boss served a 76 game touchline ban for being pissed off that Robin van Persie was sent off for nothing in a meaningless game against some lower level European side … oh wait, it was against UEFA’s favourites, Barcelona and we were going through at that point.

Arsenal will appeal, UEFA will reject the appeal, ban Wenger for the rest of his life and Michel Platini will sit there with a tub of E45 cream smothered on his tiny cock as he beats himself into a frenzy, the curly wanker.

THE UEFA STATEMENT