ROXBOROUGH, PHILADELPHIA — Numerous reports flooded in this week about a Philadelphia man named Al Giovanni who’s been taking his self-appointed job of monitoring the neighborhood Facebook page way too seriously.

According to Frank Brown, a member of the group, “He was always freaking out about people violating one of the 27 rules he wrote up in some PDF attachment you could only get by downloading. What an asshole.”

Another member of the group, Susan Billings, says, “During the first year he seemed fine. He would comment a lot on other people’s stuff, which was kind of weird, but whatever. Then he slowly began posting more and more about how people kept ignoring his rules and ruining his day. He’d go on about how much of a struggle it was. Nobody took him seriously at first. It was pretty funny actually, but then he started to lose it and disabled commenting! He’s clearly on a power trip. Definitely a dick move.”

After numerous requests via phone and email in which Giovanni refused to comment, he acquiesced and submitted the following statement over email, regarding the uproar.

“People have no God damn idea the dedication it takes to truly moderate a Facebook page. Without me, people would just be saying whatever they want. It wouldn’t be freedom, it’d be anarchy. It takes a guy like me to establish order. That’s why I created my list of simple rules. Rule #1: Don’t say anything that’ll offend anyone. How hard is that? But people kept pissing me off. I was booting people left and right. It’s no way to live. That’s why I turned off commenting for everyone in the group. If they can’t speak within the confines of my bounderies than they will not speak at all. I created this page. I gave them permission to join. If I can giveth, then I can taketh away!”

Since Giovanni disabled commenting, the page’s group members have dwindled fast.

While it’s unclear where Giovanni will go from here, one thing is for certain, the guy’s definitely a prick.