Beer lists are genuinely fun to read. They give validation to what we are drinking, validation to our favorite breweries, validation to our favorite beers and they may even introduce us to new beers that we may not otherwise have been privy to. They can also drive costs up for beers, drive up values of beers when trading or inflate the hype of a beer beyond a reasonable limit. You may argue that there are some truly good lists like the Beeradvocate one or the ones created by the BJCP (Beer Judge Certification Program). I would argue that lists are like mix tapes: If you know someone who likes Public Enemy and they’ve made a mix tape with Public Enemy on it then you will most likely enjoy that tape too. If you think the person who made that tape for you is a douche who doesn’t know the first thing about your musical likes or anything about music for that matter then that mix tape isn’t worth the cassette it’s recorded on.

Beer lists: Pros

Lists are actually quite useful when looking for good beers that seem to be quite popular. BeerAdvocate makes a list every year of the top selling beers around the country. It’s hard to argue with top selling. People are buying them for a reason so they are probably pretty good. For example, Russian River’s Pliny the Elder is a great beer that’s insanely sought after and loved around the country. You’ve heard of it. Your friends have heard of it. You may even know someone who has had it so you start to look for it. You find out that it’s not available in most of the country so your interest is piqued. You talk to someone who has had it and they won’t shut up about it. Now you’re really interested. You start looking on line for it and they won’t ship it to you. You have to find someone on the internet who would be willing to trade with you and then take your chances shipping it (mailing beer through the USPS is illegal). Is all of this worth this beer? Pliny the Elder is listed on some list so it must be worth it, right? In that beer’s case, yes. I’ve had it a number of times and it’s really quite good as long as it’s fresh (within two to three weeks) and as long as you like IPAs. You track one down and you find out that you love it. The list worked.

Perhaps you’ve been drinking Aecht Shlenkerla’s Märzen but no one is talking about rauchbiers and then you find a list that has your Märzen ranked number 11 out of 25 for Best Beers You Need To Have Before You Die. You can show that list to your friends who thought you were a little weird for liking that German monstrosity and prove to them that good beers are more than just hoppy beers or barrel aged beers.

Beer lists: Cons

You like German beers. German breweries cannot miss in your mind and you want to drink some other Alt Bieres that will make your mouth sing. You don’t like hops, stouts or anything barrel aged. That would make you screwed when it comes to most lists. You’re not going to find some Alt bier on a best-of list unless it’s a list for German beers specifically Alt biers list.

You live in Oklahoma and you’re looking for a good beer from Oklahoma that you may not have heard of. You find a list of Best Oklahoma Beers and you find that there is a brewery down the street from you that is listed and they make the worst beer you have ever had in your life AND they are all over the list. What the hell!?!?!

Beer lists: Reality

In the Oklahoma situation, that list failed you. Does that mean that all lists suck? No. You may have to pick and choose your lists a bit better. I will give you a few lists for you to choose from as an example. You pick the best list.

Rare Beer List

Sapporo Space Barley

Crown Ambassador Reserve

Tutankhamun Ale

Brew Dog Sink the Bismark

Sam Adams Utopias

Schorschbrau Schorschbock 57 (36 bottles made)

Carlsberg Jacobsen Vintage (600 bottles per year)

Brew Dog The End Of History (12 bottles made)

Pabst Blue Ribbon 1844 (only made in China)

Nail Brewing Antarctic Nail Ale (only 30 bottles made)

So that is one list that exists, for real. Yes I would like to try all of those beers but I’ve only had one and I’m pretty sure that’s all I will ever get to have off of that list plus I’m not made out of money. How about another list?

Top 10 Beers Made in Ohio

Bud Light

Bud Heavy

Bud Lite with Lime

Busch

Busch Lite

Mic Ultra

Michelob

Mic Lite

Sam Adams Boston Lager

Sam Adams Cherry Wheat

What the shit is that list?!?! Who made that list? Was it some poll done at The Ruckmoor? It’s fine if you like macro beers and that’s what you’ve been drinking for years but what if you want something more adventurous and craft-centric?

My (Crafted Drafts) Top 10 Ohio Beers

Rockmill Cask Aged Saison Noir

Rockmill Scooby

Rivertown Sage On Saison

Columbus Brewing Company Bohdi/Creeper

MadTree Galaxy High

Actual Leviton

Rhinegiest Truth

Hoppin Frog Gangster Frog

Seventh Son Scientist 2B

Homestead Snake Oil (first batch)

Then the ridicule begins. “What about Fat Heads? Hop Juju is made from angel’s tears and panda bear hugs so certainly that beer has to be on the list.” “There can’t be an Ohio list without talking about Hoof Hearted or Willoughby or Great Lakes or Listermans or Warped Wing” or whatever other brewery you absolutely love. And “how many of those beers can I realistically get” (5 maybe)? “How can Creeper only be fourth?” “Belgian beers are all trash so why are they the top three and who the hell is Rockmill anyway?” Hop Juju is, indeed, a fantastic beer. I like it quite a bit. I don’t think I’ve ever had a bad beer from Hoof Hearted. Belgian beers are an acquired taste, just like hoppy beers, and they aren’t for everyone. You don’t know who Rockmill is? Goddamn! Do you live around here?

The point to this list is that those 10 beers are beers I would step over my own mother to drink and they are from Ohio. They may not be the same beers you would pick because we are different people. I like diversity and I don’t want to drink IPAs everyday all of the time for ever and ever and ever.

Most lists I see are also pretty much IPA-heavy hype lists. What I mean by hype list is that those lists are the top most popular flavor-of-the-week beers just like that mix tape you made back in 1989.

Maybe your stance is that one cannot argue with lists created by the top ranked beers from the past year. When I see those lists, again, I think of the 1989 mix tape I made. There are beers on there that sound great and you want to try them. You’ll do whatever you need to do to get one whether it be taking a trip to your local bottle shop or standing in a 3 hour line or trading some beer with someone across the country. This tends to drive up the hype behind certain beers. Should you finally get to try one of those gems then you inevitably rank the beer high because of the hype that’s behind it and because you believe you are going to love that beer. It’s called the power of suggestion. The beer is probably pretty good but is it worth standing in line for three hours for or trading your first born child to get?

Lists are good for suggestions or to bring attention to other breweries you may not have ever heard of. I’m more annoyed by them, personally. If I want a suggestion for a beer I’ll probably go to the BJCP recommended list for a style and try one of those. If I’ve already had all of those suggestions then I’ll see what my friends are drinking or just take a chance with an unknown beer from a store. Whatever you decide to do with lists is fine. It’s your life after all. Keep in mind one of the things that Public Enemy taught us was to not believe the hype.

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full disclosure: Crafted Drafts is a client