It’s not everyday that I stalk the White House grounds looking for a quick scoop on the latest controversies and dubious ongoings within our current, executive administration. Sometimes, though, I like to snoop around just to see if I can snag the story of a lifetime. In fact, when I was hiding in the bushes outside the oval office, I saw Mr. Trump finishing off his second bucket of fried meats. He noticed me while wiping the grease from his chin and he beckoned me to come inside. I obliged, of course, as this was my end goal.

After making some formal introductions to each other, Mr. Trump asked me to take a seat on one of the couches in the middle of his office. Before I could even get a word in, the president asked if I’d ever seen the YouTube video of Thanos, the popular Marvel villain, doing various contemporary dance moves. I told him I might’ve seen a GIF of it somewhere but never the whole thing.

“The thing is–” said Mr. Trump. “It’s the comments on this video that have me the most excited. I mean, of course, I love the dances. Some of the best dance moves have been created during my time in office. Do you think that’s a coincidence? You’ve got your peculators, your hammer dances, and now there’s the flossing craze that’s swept the entire nation. It’s really something, isn’t it?” I entertained Mr. Trump for a moment and congratulated him on all his success in the matter.

“What was it about the comments section that had you so intrigued, Mr. President?” I said.

“Well–” said Mr. Trump. “It’s really just one, very long comment. I mean this comment could be in the Library of Congress, if you really want to know.” I questioned the president further on the contents of this comment. I wanted to know exactly what it was that touched him in this way. “It’s hard to tell right now.” said Mr. Trump. “I’m having my administration look over it now. I can certainly tell you this, though; I could tell there was some important stuff in there. I mean, this comment took up nearly the entire page. It was much longer than a tweet, that’s for sure. I don’t think I’d ever seen that many words in one place, so this piece of writing must be very important.”

I further questioned Mr. Trump on whether or not this prestigious piece of writing might have any affect on his current policies. “The possibility is there. The tremendousness of this possibility cannot be questioned. Me and my administration will carefully dissect it over the next coming months. Until then, you’ll just have to wait.”

My trip to the 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue could’ve been more fruitful, I must admit. However, I’m still very pleased to see that our current administration is keeping an open mind when it comes to their policies.