We're an awesome club in Melbourne that lives to give - whether it's John Safran performing an all vinyl hip hop set in an Adidas tracksuit for free, Devin The Dude performing his hits from 20 years ago for cheap, or our regular club nights on Friday and Saturday that are constantly on the ball, we just wanna entertain our fans.

We've been trying to get Karl Stefanovic's management to return our phone calls and emails for months now, because we've listened to our demographic and their demands, and they want Karl. Karl if you can see this, can you get Sharon from Celebrity Management to call us back so we can book you in for sometime in October / November? Alternatively, Sharon it would be tight if you were reading this and could return our calls - your assistant has our number.

As we can gather, since you've definitely mastered the DJ fist pump, it shouldn't be too much of a stretch for you to master actual DJ-ing. #REALDJING

Cheers cuzzy!!!