(Last Updated On: January 3, 2019)

It’s time for Jerry Reese to go. Plain and simple. People like to blame coaches and Eli Manning for the woes of this oft-inadequate franchise, but that is simply erroneous. First everyone was shitting on Tom Coughlin, saying his time was past and he needed to leave. Now everybody hates Ben McAdoo during this abomination of a season. Especially after the latest presser..

Much like it was with the Evil Emperor in Star Wars, it feels like nobody is noticing the true villain of this story until it is far too late. Jerry Reese is the man responsible for everything bad that has befallen the Giants in the past decade, even though that includes two Super Bowl wins.

Let’s start with recent folly. This fucking guy drafted Eli Goddamn Apple, who allowed Robert Woods to score this past Sunday on a 3rd and 33. You know who he could have drafted instead of Eli Apple? Laremy Tunsil. You know, the offensive tackle who made the Pro Bowl as a rookie and remains an absolute beast? No, because Jerry Reese likes vanity players, like a 6-foot-3 cornerback who can’t cover or tackle worth a shit.

Oh, that’s one player you say? I’m sorry, are we also talking about the same guy who signed Brandon Marshall this season instead of using cap space on an OFFENSIVE FUCKING LINEMAN? The same Brandon Marshall who played four games, caught 12 short balls, and broke his leg?

But wait, let’s go back a little further. This man gave a massive deal to Dominique Rodgers-Cromartie. Granted, he’s got 14 fewer kids than his cousin, but he’s also frequently suspended and slightly above-average at best. Maybe we shoulda used some of that cap on… an offensive lineman?

Jerry Reese creates a culture of me-first vanity players who fill positions we don’t need, get paid too much, and don’t contribute enough. Don’t give me the Odell Beckham and Landon Collins argument. Even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and again. Evan Engram is good too, but we COULD HAVE HAD AN OFFENSIVE LINEMAN.

Let’s go back even further. I recall this man named Matt Dodge. He’s the punter responsible for the must humiliating moment in Giants history, the Desean Jackson Punt Return. Wanna know who drafted that bum? Jerry Reese.

It almost feels like Jerry Reese is out here trying to get The Book of Eli killed, because, lo and behold, he didn’t draft Eli. Jerry wants to draft his own shitty quarterback and reboot this franchise. Well I say, a franchise reboot sounds great, as long as it comes with a new GM.

Now, for the five worst of embarrassing moments in New York Giants history since 2000..

5. Eli Apple Makes a Business Decision

When you’re somehow thinking about that bigger contract that you’re unlikely to get.

Eli Apple’s mom needs to have a word to him after that “effort” to get at Woods. pic.twitter.com/gI9hYtqdVU — Brett Collett (@brettacollett) November 5, 2017

(cover photo h/t: Daily News)

4. The Infamous Regular Season Choke of 2014

At 3-8 and buried in a six-game losing streak, the Giants hoped a trip to the 1-9 Jaguars in Jacksonville would right the ship. Not only did they lose 25-24, but they allowed Jacksonville to score a season-high in points in one of the Jags’ three wins. The Giants were up 21-0 and still choked to a team with a rookie quarterback (Blake Bortles) and head coach (Gus Bradley). Giants owner John Mara wanted to “fire everyone” after the game. The icing? It was the largest comeback win in Jags history.

Or in sports meme terms..

3. The Worst Show On Surf

Undoubtedly the worst performance of Eli Manning’s NFL career, the stoic hurler threw five interceptions and connected on only 18 passes for 156 yards at home against the eventual Super Bowl champion Seattle Seahawks. This dropped the Giants to 5-9 and assured them a sub-.500 record for the first time since 2004.

2. The Texas Toast

Sure it was against the Titans, but Vince Young will always remain a Texas Longhorns star at heart.

(2006) Down 21-0 with less than 10 minutes left, Vince Young leads the Titans to a comeback W over the Giants. pic.twitter.com/Qkrkyo0CY0 — Timeless Sports (@timelesssports_) February 16, 2017

Vince Young Gambini.

1. Matt Dodge Meets DeSean Jackson in the Miracle at the New Meadowlands

A crucial Week 15 game between the NFC East rival Eagles and Giants during the 2010 NFL season was expected to be dramatic, but not this breathtaking. With under eight minutes left in the fourth quarter and the Giants winning by 21 points, the Eagles went on to score four unanswered touchdowns, capped by a Matt Dodge punt returned for a touchdown by DeSean Jackson as the clock expired. This made Jackson the first player in NFL history to win a game on a punt return as time ran out. The kick will forever live in Big Blue infamy.

📅 2010 week 15

📍 New Meadlowlands DESEAN JACKSON’S WALK OFF PUNT RETURN TD IS BETTER W/TITANIC MUSIC! MIRACLE AT THE NEW MEADOWLANDS! 🏈🚢🎶 pic.twitter.com/SEeRVA2cgh — MY HEART WILL GO ON AND ON AND ON AND ON AND ON!!! (@TitanicTD) August 9, 2017

Ones We Missed/Reader Submitted

h/t u/neallynch

Humongous blown lead in Wild Card loss to the 49ers in 2003. 35-32 overtime loss to Cowboys coached by Bill Parcells in ’03 (after going up 32-29 with 0:11 left in regulation). Brian Westbrook’s game-winning punt return for TD in ’03. Joe Horn pulling out a goddamn cell phone after a touchdown in 45-7 blowout loss to Saints in ’03. Eli going 4 of 18 for 27 yards with 2 picks against Baltimore in 2004. Jay Feely’s missed FG fest at Seattle in ’05. Getting our doors blown off at home in the Wild Card against the Panthers 23-0 in 2006. Devin Hester 108 yard field goal return for a TD on Sunday Night Football in ’06. Securing home-field advantage in the 2008-2009 playoffs then losing badly to the Eagles in the Divisional Round. Last minute loss to the Chargers at home in ’09. The first half of 2013 season. Take your pick from any of the close losses in 2015 (Cowboys, Falcons, Saints, Pats, Jets, Panthers). Losing the entire wide receiver corps against San Diego in Week 5 of ’17.

h/t u/Theons_sausage

Plaxico Burress shoots himself in the leg. Tiki Barber’s bizarre fall from grace, throwing his team under the bus. Josh Brown resigned by Mara after it’s apparent he’s a piece of shit. Tom Coughlin unceremoniously being “fired”. January 5th, 2003 – Giants blow a 24 point lead to the 49ers in the playoffs, and lose the game on a mistake by the referees.

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