TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

Local crane operator, Todd Harrison, has today committed his mind to something for the first time since his year 10 exams.

The sudden need for cognitive power has come after his girlfriend declared their apartment a kick-on free zone.

It’s believed the ban was implemented after Clare, Todd’s girlfriend, was woken at 2:30 am for the fifth Saturday in a row by Todd and his extremely intoxicated friends.

So, while Clare’s reaction may seem justified, Todd is having flashbacks to high school history.

“First this, then what?”

“It’s only a matter of time before she bans me from going out all together!” cried a desperate Todd to his riled-up friends.

Reports from the scene indicate that Todd and his friends proceeded to drink at the West Betoota establishment until it closed, allegedly taking regular trips to the bathroom in pairs prior to closure.

Once on the street Todd could be heard slurring “Fuck it! It’s half my apartment too, she can’t stop me from doing anything!”

The last time the men were seen was stumbling up to Todd’s apartment at around 2:00am.

It’s not yet known what the consequences for disobeying Clare’s direct orders are, but considering she makes them wear couple’s pyjamas we fear it may be serious.

More to come.



