Jul 19th, 2017

Jul 19th, 2017

As parents, Ralph and Kathy Kelly have had to endure two of the most unimaginable tragedies.

In July 2012, the Kelly’s lost their son Thomas Kelly to a vicious and unprovoked “one-punch” killing at Kings Cross. Thomas was just 18 years of age. Their other son, Stuart Kelly, took his own life four years later in July 2016. He too was just 18 years old.

Ralph and Kathy rightly state, that had Thomas not being killed in this most senseless of manners, then Stuart would still be with us today.

I can’t even begin to contemplate their grief.

If I find their pain unfathomable to measure, then I cannot find the words to describe the extraordinary courage and strength they have shown, in not only dealing with the loss of their two sons, but in the selfless campaigns they have undertaken since this time to help ensure other people are never subjected to, what can only be described as, a parent’s worst nightmare.

Ralph and Kathy Kelly front the media during the court case into the death of their son, Thomas. (AAP)

Several months ago, I received an email from a gentleman called Ralph Kelly, asking me if I was available to assist in an awareness program regarding mental health and youth suicide. I didn’t read all the details. I passed it on to my PA Diane Langmack, asking her to reply to Ralph saying I will do whatever I can to assist.

As luck would have it, only a few days later I was in Canberra to commentate on a Raiders match, when this gentleman Ralph Kelly came up and introduced himself. He explained that he was the Ralph Kelly they had sent me an email that week. He confirmed that Diane had already been in touch and he thanked me for my prompt reply. He then asked if we could meet for coffee to discuss what his program was trying to achieve and what small part I may be able to play in helping to raise awareness.

We agreed to meet the following week in Sydney. The location was a coffee shop in Pyrmont.

Now, at this stage I have absolutely no idea that this Ralph Kelly is the father of these two boys.

We meet for coffee, exchange pleasantries, talk about the football results on the weekend, before the conversation gets around to Ralph Kelly’s request.

Innocently I say, "what can I do for you Ralph?"

Calmly, yet steely-eyed, Ralph tells me the story of his two sons.

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Stuart Kelly took his own life in 2016 after taking a brave stance in support of NSW's lockout laws. (AAP)

Can you begin to imagine how I feel, sitting there listening to this man talk about the tragedies that have befallen his family? I remembered the story. It all came flooding back to me as he spoke. I just had no idea prior to this meeting that this was "THE" Ralph Kelly.

I am trying to hold his gaze and suppress my own emotions, but as he retells the story of the loss of his sons, I can feel my heart sinking and I’m trying to stop my whole body from shaking.

I cannot begin to describe the awe in which I hold this man, as he describes the measures he and his wife Kathy have taken, to not only remember their two sons Thomas and Stuart, but the tireless work they have undertaken to try and save other families from the tragedies they have experienced.

These loving parents will never recover from the loss of their two sons. The grief never goes away. Ralph explains that the only way they can cope, is to fight for these awareness programs so that the death of their sons hopefully leads to saving others.

And we talk about footballers being tough.

The courage, conviction, and selfless goodwill of this man, left me speechless.

Following the death of his son Thomas to an unprovoked one punch killing on the streets of King’s Cross, Ralph Kelly and his family became the face of the lockout laws eventually put in place by the New South Wales State Government.

Parramatta and Wests Tigers will honour the memory of Thomas and Stuart Kelly when they play at ANZ Stadium on Sunday. (AAP)

Ralph, Kathy and Stuart Kelly, started the Thomas Kelly Foundation. Through this foundation they created the “Take Kare Safe Space” program that operates in King’s Cross, the Sydney CBD and Darling Harbour, every Friday and Saturday night from 10 PM until 4 AM. These safe havens have been operating since December 2014, with over 48,000 interactions on the streets. Their vision is to keep all youth safe. Their teams work to defuse violent situations before they get out of hand, stop theft, sexual assault, and to get young people home safely.

Take Kare, was spelt this way to honour the initials of their son’s name, Thomas Kelly. TK.

In 2015, Stuart Kelly, the younger brother of Thomas, became the subject of vicious bullying and attacks after he gave a speech at the Take Kare Gala dinner about how alcohol-fuelled violence had torn his family apart.

This merciless bullying campaign over his support for the lockout laws, eventually pushed Stuart Kelly to take his own life. Stuart decided this world was not for him.

Unfortunately, this is our world today. It has changed so much from the world I knew was a teenager.

As a society, we are currently experiencing significant changes in social values and respect shown to others. Social media is one of the many platforms the demonstrates these behaviours.

People today can be so cruel. Through the safety and anonymity of social media platforms, cowardly types can inflict abuse, pain and suffering on others. They have no idea of the damage they are doing.

Ralph Kelly says, "Suicide itself is not a crime. But what precedes it, may just be.

"The culture of taking things on the chin can discourage youth from speaking out when they are faced with abuse and unkindness from others. It is more important than ever that we find ways to create an environment of kindness, care and empathy."

Of course, these are not the only pressures facing young people today. Youth suicide is a serious issue in society today.

Ralph explains that, "Suicide rates amongst Australian youth are increasing significantly. In 2015, 3027 people and their own lives in Australia. That’s eight people every day, or one person every three hours. Over half of them did not have a mental illness or had not accessed mental health services."

We need to encourage kids to speak out and communicate their problems.

The Thomas Kelly Youth Foundation is launching the "Stay Kind" initiative (Stuart Kelly – SK – Stay Kind). The Stay Kind awareness program has been created in honour of Stuart Kelly and his continued support and kindness to his brother and others.

This Sunday at ANZ Stadium there is an extremely important football game between the West Tigers and Parramatta Eels.

It will have much more significance than just a game of football.

In partnership with the Thomas Kelly Foundation, the NRL will be using rugby league as a platform to raise awareness for an extremely important subject. We need you to support Stay Kind Day at ANZ Stadium this Sunday.

The Parramatta Eels, whose traditional colours are blue and gold, will take the blue out of their jersey for Sunday match, to represent taking "the blue out of the blues".

The Tigers major sponsor Bryden’s Lawyers have kindly agreed to forgo their jersey advertising, to wear the "Stay Kind" message for the day.

In addition, Australia’s five "Cross of Valour" recipients will present a bravery coined to both captains on the halfway mark just prior to the game commencement. All players taking part in this match will receive this reward.

From the Stay Kind website, we learn that through the Stay Kind Initiative, "the Kelly family wishes to encourage not only today’s youth, but the entire Australian population to care for one another. As a kind, compassionate community, it’s important to show empathy whilst also acknowledging and recognising that many people suffer in silence. Young people may find themselves overwhelmed by life. They feel unable to speak out or seek help for themselves to deal with these mental health issues."

Thomas Kelly lost his life after he was the victim of a one-punch attack in Kings Cross in 2012.

Do yourself a favour and access the 60 minutes program that tells the story of the Kelly family.

I wish I never had to meet Ralph Kelly. I wish we could turn back time and save Ralph, Kathy, Thomas and Stuart from the senseless tragedies.

However, having met Ralph Kelly, albeit in these most unfortunate of circumstances, I know I have been introduced to someone very special.

If Ralph and Kathy Kelly, can rise from the grief that comes with the senseless loss of their two sons, and think only of creating an environment that is both safe and kind for others, to encourage all Australians to show compassion and empathy towards each other, then surely, we all do the same.

Their message is to Stay Kind to each other. To not only ask people how they feel, but to actually listen to their response.

If we can save just one life, that would be great. But if we can save them all, that would be beautiful.

Please get to the football on Sunday and support the Stay Kind Initiative.