Let me spell it out for you: Joe Harris was Mufasa. Scar (Coach K, I guess?) sent a stampede of wildebeests to kill Harris (and by that I mean that Harris graduated). Simba (Anderson) coped with Harris’s death by wandering around in the wilderness (otherwise known as visiting a shooting coach in Chicago during the offseason). Somewhere along the line, he met Timon and Pumbaa (Marial Shayok and Isaiah Wilkins), convinced himself he had to return to Pride Rock (John Paul Jones Arena), and brought his two new friends with him. He saved the kingdom when the elephants, giraffes, and zebras (Virginia fans) thought it was doomed. Simba then became the new king and ruled under the guidance of Zazu (Brogdon).



Now that Simba has gone down, should the elephants, giraffes, and zebras freak out again? Of course not! Not when Rafiki (Bennett) is about to continue the circle of life and anoint someone to step up in Simba’s place. And oh, would you look at that — Simba and Nala (Evan Nolte, I guess?) had their own little cub named London Perrantes this whole time. Go ahead and spread that grapefruit juice on London’s head and sprinkle a little sand on top, Rafiki. The elephants, giraffes, and zebras are ready to meet their new king.