SBLOUNSKCHED! Bar from Homestar Runner

Dear Strongbad

I was wondering, you are so famous, popular, and a chick-magnet how come you don’t have any candy product…

or food thing… to sell……………………

From somone thats not homestarrunner

Flash Animation | Strong Bad Email #149 - Candy Product

Ah, the early 2000s when flash animation was rampant across the internet, AOL instant messenger was something people actually used, and Facebook only existed for a select few college students. As fascinating as AOL and old-timey Facebook are, today I want to focus on one of my personal favourite flash animation series: Homestar Runner, specifically Strong Bad, even more specifically the SBLOUNSKCHED! Bar.

If you’re not familiar with Strong Bad, the premise for each episode was that he would respond to emails and, well, that was pretty much it. Usually the video was funny or at least vaguely amusing. Hey, what more can you expect from less than five minutes of content at a time?

In Email #149 he’s asked “are you famous, popular, and chick-magnet enough to have a candy product.” With the answer, of course, being yes. Now some aspects of creating the SBLOUNSKCHED! Bar seemed a little above my cooking knowledge. Here’s the official ingredient list:

Gaseous cloud of marshmallow vapor

Globules of semi-solid licorice colloid

Channel of liquid nougat

Crispety cookety log

Rich, creamy pepperoni

Tiny bowls of crispy puffed rice cereal (with tiny spoons)

Boring Brown Chocolate (BBC)

And here’s what I actually used…

Ingredients

Marshmallows (solid, not vapor)

Black licorice (solid, not colloid)

Nougat (solid, not liquid)

Cookie dough

Rich, creamy pepperoni

Puffed rice cereal (no tiny bowls or spoons)

Boring Brown Chocolate

Directions

Smush marshmallow and black licorice together. Next, wrap with soft nougat and then wrap that with cookie dough. Place rich, creamy pepperoni on top. Sprinkle puffed rice cereal on top of the pepperoni. Finally, coat everything with boring brown chocolate.

Oh yes, I also forgot to mention that I wouldn’t be shaping this thing into pants. It was difficult enough just getting all the components to stay together in some kind of log shape. I have no idea how I would have made this monstrosity look like pants on top of that.

Anyway, the SBLOUNSKCHED! Bar tasted…weird. I’m sure it won’t surprise you to know that the pepperoni was what really made this extra special. And not in a good way. I love pepperoni and I love weird candy all mashed together. I’m not really a fan of combining those things and then covering them with chocolate.

Cromulence: 5 YSK’s Turned Out Alright out of 10

SBLOUNSKCHED! Bar from: Homestar Runner – Strong Bad Email #149: Candy Product