Greetings, Preorderers of the Cosmos!

On Friday, we passed the 1500 mark! Impressive! However, that was around the same time that a cargo container full of Sentinel Tactics arrived at our warehouse, and we've been busy packing boxes since then! All of those boxes shipped out today, and now we're on our way to Gen Con! BUT FIRST! Since you've waited so patiently, here is the hero you've been waiting for. Maybe.

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Joseph King was a tabloid photographer billionaire recording artist and underwear model who made a meager living selling pictures of celebrities to the Megalopolis Examiner everyone adored. One day, while walking to the gas station to buy a lottery ticket working with his favorite charity "Toupees for Bald Eagles", Joe heard a shout. He looked up in time to see the underside of a piano growing closer at an alarming rate a radical fighter jet sky-writing his name. "This is going to hurt..." was the last thing Joe thought.

Unbeknownst to either Joe or the people moving the piano, the hero team known as the Freedom Five and the cosmic entity known as the Wager Master had recently fought on the very sidewalk Joe was now splattered across. Joe's organic matter was now mixed with particles of improbability, which bonded and reformed into BLAH BLAH BLAH, could this be any more boring?! Just think of a badass training montage and put me in there.

Hey there, faithful reader! Yeah, you. The one reading this right now. I'm Guise, and I'm talking to you. What's so hard to understand about this?

Anyway, now that you know my totally sweet backstory, let's talk about what we're going to do. We're going to fight EEEEEEEVIL!

You get your friends together, and you pick your heroes, and and BE SURE TO PICK ME! I can't help if I don't get cards on the table. But, and you can trust me on this one, I am awesome. I mean, check out what I did to this guy:

Yeah, that sure slowed him down. Heh, these villains aren't going to know what hit them. That is, as long as you do YOUR part and PLAY MY CARDS! I mean, how could you not?

I'm the best.