We're moving!

I'm in the process of dismantling this joke site and migrating it over to a more accessible, easier-to-update blog. You can check it out at Let epsilon be less than zero.

However, until the move is completed, I'm keeping this archive available... but note that more and more of the links will forward you to their new home.

Math jokes

Generically awful

A mathematician walks into a bar \\ Two mathematicians walk into a bar \\ More mathematicians walk into a bar \\ Addition, subtraction, division, and mulitplication \\ The Alps \\ Arithmetic \\ The Boy's Life jokes \\ The brain transplant \\ Bush-whackin' \\ Catholic arithmetic \\ Clinical test \\ Consider the set... \\ The convergent series \\ Convex sets and inequalities \\ The copy machine \\ Counterexamples \\ Counting sheep \\ The dean's woes \\ The Dirac River joke \\ Einstein in heaven \\ The exponential joke \\ F = - m a \\ Fermat's last pun \\ First derivative test \\ The frog princess \\ Helluva engineer \\ Hide and seek \\ Holy numbers \\ The hot-air ballon \\ How to tell if you're failing basic math \\ Hyperbolas \\ Institutionalized \\ The Jesus joke \\ The log joke \\ The logician and the judge \\ The lottery \\ The make-up test \\ Math degree \\ Math in pill form \\ Math parties \\ Math saves lives \\ A mathematical love story \\ The mathematician and his wife \\ The Neanderthal joke \\ The new bike \\ Optimization \\ Pattern matching \\ Planck's constant \\ Polish folks and air travel \\ Prime time \\ The pure mathematician \\ The Pythagorean theorem pun \\ Reduction to a joke already solved \\ Sheepdog math \\ Sherlock Holmes \\ sin(45) \\ Smooth operator \\ The snake jokes \\ S.O.B. \\ Statistics and alligators \\ A story about nothing \\ The Texas mathematician \\ The theory of gears \\ Topology test \\ The very smart horse \\ The Weierstrass M-test pun \\ The wrong equations

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician

...spy a black sheep \\ ...are about to be executed \\ ...are given ball bearings \\ ...are playing golf \\ ...build better animals \\ ...compare notes \\ ...discuss N-space \\ ...discuss the mystery of human engineering \\ ...examine a howitzer \\ ...fill a bucket \\ ...get a flat tire \\ ...have no can opener \\ ...look for lost keys \\ ...see people entering a building \\ ...try to get the girl \\ ...were asked to prove all odd numbers greater than 1 are prime \\ ...were asked to build a fence \\ ...were asked what 2 times 2 equals \\ ...were at the flagpole \\ ...were hunting deer \\ ...were discussing wives and mistresses \\ ...were on the train \\ ...were the subjects of an anecdote

Humor

Mathematics

Anagrams \\ The art to finding the right graph paper \\ Bad proofs \\ Bill seeks to change value of pi \\ Discontinuous humor \\ The evolution of math teaching \\ A guide to terms used in higher math \\ On the imperturbability of elevator operators \\ Math course evaluations \\ Math riots prove fun incalculable \\ Math teacher evaluation form \\ Mathematical theory of big game hunting, Part 1 : Part 2 : Part 3 : Part 4 : Part 5 : Part 6 : Part 7 \\ Methods of proof \\ The missing dollar \\ Old mathematicians never die \\ On the nature of mathematical proofs \\ On the supposed evilness of girls \\ A note on piffles \\ Quotes \\ Riddles \\ Remarks you're not likely to find in journals \\ Slices of pi \\ Teach your dog to eliminate on command! \\ The Ten Commandments of mathematics \\ Tom Swifties \\ A traditional-to-contemporary math dictionary \\ The Trivia Mathematica \\ Urban legends \\ The uses of fallacy \\ X equals just about everything I learned

Science, technology, and academia

The analysis of contemporary music \\ Bio-Optic Organized Knowledge device \\ B.S. Bingo \\ Collective names in basic sciences \\ Departmental grading schemes \\ Do-it-yourself research proposal writing kit \\ Etch-A-Sketch compliance \\ Genesis by computer \\ A glossary for research reports \\ The high energy physics coloring book \\ The Los Angeles High School proficiency exam \\ Letters from computer camp \\ Microsoft to buy God \\ Modern engineering principles \\ Murphy's Law \\ New particle discovered! \\ Nonstandard measurements \\ A parable of units \\ A party of physicists \\ Repealing the law of gravity \\ Santa Claus: an engineer's perspective \\ The science of the suckpoint \\ Scientific truth in product warning labels \\ The secret to antigravity \\ Snakes and ladders \\ Standards for inconsequential trivia \\ A stress analysis of a strapless evening gown \\ Theoretical zipperdynamics \\ The thermodynamics of heaven \\ The thermodynamics of hell \\ Thesis advice \\ The ultimate test \\ Upgrade to graduate students \\ Why God would never get tenure

Harmonic analysis

Poetry

4:45 a.m. \\ The axes not analyzed \\ Brokenspacebar \\ Cheers! \\ The electron in gold \\ Epigrams \\ Error message haiku \\ Euclid drew a circle \\ Foundations of arithmetic \\ Hilbert space \\ Haiku generator \\ If (math version) \\ The kiss precise \\ Limericks \\ Lines inspired by a lecture on extra-terrestrial life \\ Ode to Z \\ Oh! The places waves go! \\ Pereant \\ Perils of modern living \\ Practical application \\ The publication system \\ The researcher's prayer \\ Steps to solving an optimization problem \\ The triumph of reason \\ The zeros of the zeta function

Songs

Any questions? \\ The derivative song \\ Drinking songs \\ Failing my calculus \\ Hyperbolic orbit \\ I got physics \\ Ions mine \\ Lobachevsky \\ New math \\ The professor's song \\ Relativity \\ s is one-half gt-squared \\ The slide rule song \\ Take away your billion dollars \\ That's mathematics! \\ There's a delta for every epsilon

Christmas carols

Calculus \\ O calculus, O calculus \\ Fill the board with differentials \\ Cantor sets \\ Fission and superstition

Dirty math humor

WARNING! As the name suggests, these links have mathematical humor of a more adult nature. While it is certainly not my intention to offend anyone who visits these links, some readers might find the the humor below a bit crude or embarrassing. Viewer discretion is advised.

Dirty jokes

100% \\ Accounting \\ The difference \\ Division \\ Do it jokes \\ Functional relationship \\ Limericks \\ Math Information Access Software System \\ The mathematical purity test \\ The mathematics of sex \\ Outside the box \\ Rebus \\ Riddles (updated) \\ The sad story of little Polly Nomial \\ Special High-Intensity Teaching \\ The two nuns