It’s olden times and pilot fish is working as a programmer for a bank. Being in the midst of 1099 season, there’s a whole lot of printing and bursting of 1099-INT and 1099-DIV statements.

A bursting machine is used to cut/trim and separate individual forms from the continuous 2-up or 3-up paper forms that were the output of a mainframe. The continuous stack is thread into the machine, and the rollers pull the forms into it. It cuts and then separates the sheets of documents and individual forms by using sharp, rounded, razor-sharp discs.

Because it’s olden times, the bank has a dress code, and wearing a tie is the norm — except among computer operators. And there’s a reason operators wear smocks over their cloths and are exempt from wearing ties. Unfortunately, fish learns this reason the hard way.

Fish is on the feeding side of this monster machine when his tie gets stuck in the rollers. Fish then starts to get pulled into the spinning blades, face first. Luckily, a VP on the other end grabs a pair of scissors and cuts the tie, when fish’s face is just inches away from being sliced and diced.

All these years later, fish is grateful for the VP’s quick action, but one thing still rankles: “I was never even compensated for the tie.”

Sharky is bursting with curiosity about your true tales of IT life. Send them to me at sharky@computerworld.com. You can also subscribe to the Daily Shark Newsletter.