At 13, I started working in bars. My first job was in a gay bar. It was called Mr Henry's and they took me on when nobody else did. I played for tips. Gay men taught me about deportment and how not to be a slut. They taught me about fashion and how a lady should sit and behave; how to carry a handbag and how to walk.

My first kiss happened at 10, when I lived in Silver Spring, a town in Maryland. It was at a bus stop and he was a couple of years older. He looked at me and said, "I would love to give you a kiss." He was cute and popular. I remember feeling attractive. It was our secret moment and after that he would always smile at me down the school hallway.

When I moved to LA at 21 there was a vulnerability to me. It came with being young and raised by a religious family who taught me to see the best in people. Being in a frightening situation as I was [when she was 21, Amos was raped at knife point in her car by a fan she had offered to drive home] showed me everyone has a monstrous side. You can become blind-sided by situations if you're only willing to see the best in people. Some people will tell you, "I don't have a dark side", but if anybody tells you that, especially a guy, run for the hills! You don't stand for that crap. These sorts of people have no idea what is inside them.

I was in a relationship with somebody else when I fell in love with [Englishman] Mark Hawley. He was working as my sound engineer on the Under the Pink album tour in 1994. I would sing to him every night but he didn't know it. I'd been in other relationships through my life but this was love at first sight. It was the first time I felt connected to a man.

When I told Mark how I felt [nine months into the album tour], he made it clear to me that infidelity was out of the question. He believed in marriage. He taught me about the idea of a monogamous marriage and that you can always have romance. It takes work and respect.