Something that can only be described as 'a car'

I like to celebrate mundanity. I've made my way through life never over-achieving or severely underachieving in pretty much everything I set my mind to. It's a unique skill, one which I am proud of, but my family probably aren't.

Not only do I like to celebrate mundanity in my own achievements, but I like to see what the rest of the world achieves when it puts a solid 65% effort into things.

When it comes to cars, mundanity is often mistaken for a poor quality. This annoys me as this couldn't be further from the truth. A truly bad car develops character through its own flaws. For example, the Morris Marina is often referred to as the most boring car in the world. How can a car that has a comical amount of roll into the corners be boring? It's hilarious.

I'm not interested in a car that goes to prison for stabbing people, I want Jeff from accounts or Martin from HR, not Horacio the mass murderer.

Courtesy of BBC Courtesy of BBC

No, we must look much harder to find a car that has no charisma whatsoever. The Mitsubishi Carisma tried its best to be the most mundane car in the world, but the irony in the name makes it funny, so it loses by default.

Mundane cars aren't designed by an artist, who sweeps a pencil across the canvas before ripping open his already loose shirt and makes love to a beautiful Italian woman overlooking Lake Como.

No, they are designed by Steve, on Microsoft Paint, who just wants to go home after a long day's work to find out he forgot to put the bins out.

I've put together eight cars which I think fit the criteria for the most mundane car in existence, but I'll need your help deciding which takes the crown.

I grew up in the UK, so my list is very 'M4 Slough to Reading commuter' influenced. So if you are from elsewhere in the world, please add your suggestions in the comments. I honestly can't get enough of mundane cars, they are oddly fascinating.

Here are my top 8 cars that can only be described as 'a car:'

1) VW Bora 99-07

The VW Bora will have passed by a lot of you. The non-petrolheads probably thought it was a facelifted Golf saloon or a Passat. However, this car was made and had no standout features. It had decent build quality, but nothing to write home about. All-in-all an OK car.

2) Toyota Avensis 03-09

The Toyota Avensis is a car. It will get you from your meeting in Bracknell to your next meeting in Slough in relative comfort. It has a CD player... and seatbelts.

3) SEAT TOledo 98-04

The SEAT Toledo was designed by Giorgetto Giugiaro. That's right, the same Giorgetto Giugiaro that designed the DeLorean. He was having an off day. I don't think anyone has ever walked into a showroom and said, "I'll have the Toledo please."

4) Vauxhall Vectra 95-02

This is probably the front-runner for the mundanity crown for me. There were so many on the roads as a kid and the most common colour was grey. Not Silver... grey. There was no passion or even a low level of caring when the Vectra was designed. The designer just presented his 24 minutes of work and said 'there, there's a fucking car.'

5) Kia Magentis 06-11

I uploaded this image twice originally as I literally forgot I had uploaded it 6 minutes earlier. That is how unmemorable the Kia Magentis is.

6) Daewoo Nubira 00-02

Daewoo might have specialised in microwaves, but they had a ruddy good go at cars. The Daewoo Nubira is proof that they can make 'a car.'

7) Daewoo Matiz

Daewoo makes a quick second appearance with the Matiz. Chevrolet eventually took the reigns but the Daewoo version of the Matiz was not too good or too bad. Perfect for this list...

Hang on...

The marketing team were a little ambitious with that one. The only 'joy' you'll receive is when you hand over the keys to the elderly lady who bought it from you because she likes the automatic gearbox.

8) Nissan Sunny 86-91

The balls on the Nissan marketing team to call this the 'Sunny.' It would be more appropriate to call it the Nissan Overcast.

If you aren't from the UK, I really want to hear about your mundane cars. Are there any that stand out for not standing out? Let me know in the comments.

If you enjoyed this article, why not try this quiz that tell you what mundane car you are...

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