Eighty million?



One more slobbering gaggle of bureaucrats -- this time, the city of Portland's -- wants to stuff another $80 million in Nike's petty cash drawer, hoping to entice the company to expand into South Waterfront?



Unbelievable. And utterly unrealistic.



Hold out for $250 million, Nike. You might as well. When you have the presence, personality and drawing power -- everything, in other words, that South Waterfront still lacks --you have all the leverage.



Fourteen years after the Portland Development Commission planted this 400-acre urban renewal district on the west bank of the Willamette, this much remains true:



South Waterfront is a serious upgrade of the wasteland it replaced. And I still don't know what this "vibrant neighborhood" wants to be, if and when it grows up.



The city's biggest dog park?



North Macadam's restaurant-free zone? Or the polar opposite of a destination resort?



Granted, OHSU's Center for Health & Healing is very cool. In a city with a remarkable aversion to its rivers -- take the Columbia River Crossing (please) -- the condo towers drink in the water views. And Portland has spent millions providing easy access via bicycle and streetcar, if not my cursed Subaru.



Once you land in South Waterfront, however, there's little to do without a blue plastic bag in your pocket.



"Public and private investment has generated remarkable growth here," the PDC website tells us, "with new jobs, enhanced public amenities and innovative urban living."



By "innovative," PDC apparently means making do without grocery stores, libraries, movie theaters, the corner bakery, a night life or a healthy collection of food carts. You need the 11-hour parking meters to find decent pizza. Even Starbucks considers South Waterfront a no-fly zone.



Eighty million would be a small price to pay to energize the neighborhood.



Which Nike would.



The city and Multnomah County would pay to see Nike expand onto the 33 acres of scorched earth owned by Zidell, just south of the Marquam Bridge.



I don't see it happening; Nike's roots in Washington County are deep. But if Nike elects to expand into South Waterfront, imagine the restaurants, retail shops, marketing firms, and sports and apparel midgets that would follow the company to the water's edge, eager to cater to its needs and feed off its charisma.



Yes, it is obnoxious to watch Portland Mayor Charlie Hales and Multnomah County Chairman Jeff Cogen duck behind non-disclosure agreements when they are asked about the progress of public-private partnerships that so often prove to be public-policy disasters.



But Nike, as usual, is setting the rules.



The $80 million -- for parking garages, road improvements and riverbank rejuvenation -- is certain to be spent regardless of whether the money is used to lure one of the region's elite employers downtown.



And I think we can finally agree that South Waterfront's salvation will not arrive via the streetcar or aerial tram.



-- Steve Duin

