Congo sues Norway for $500 BILLION dollars!

In the Republic of Congo, a surreal scenario is playing out: Two Norwegian citizens, Tjostolv Moland and Joshua French, have been jailed, apparently due to involvement in a murderscene in which an innocent cabdriver was killed. The Republic of Congo claims the Norwegians killed the driver over a money dispute – the Norwegians claims they were nothing more than witnesses to the crime, perpetrated by unknown gunmen in the middle of the jungle.

In any event, the Republic of Congo is furious – and claims that the killing represents an attack on «the body and soul of Congo itself». And what does Congo think would be a good compenstation for such a hideous crime against the Conglonese people? According to the State Attorney of the Republic of Congo, a mere $500 BILLION dollars will suffice.

Norwegian media is present at the military tribunal hearings, and reports that the demand was put forth today. The Conglonese State Attorney insists that the two backpackers are undercover Norwegian agents, backing up this brash claim by pointing out that the two Norwegians were in fact equipped with – gasp! – Norwegian drivers licenses at the time of their arrest. As such – Congo claims – the state of Norway is morally and economically responsible for any and all wrong-doings their citizens do abroad.

Even though Norway is one of the richest countries in the world, enjoying the second highest GDP per-capita (after Luxembourg), even Disney’s Scrooge McDuck would have a hard time settling a $500 billion dollar debt. If Congo wins forth in their own military tribunal, God help Norway.

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