Louis CK, continuing to carve out a niche for himself as Sort Of Genius/the Lethargic Husky Dream Man of men and women across the nation with dark senses of humor and minor clinical depression, was on Jimmy Kimmel Live last night fielding questions about his choice to cast a black woman (after valiantly Googling, it seems her name remains under wraps) as his ex-wife and mom of his two onscreen kids, whom we have already seen are "extremely white," in CK's words. His response was equivalent to a verbal shrug.


"If the character works for the show, I don't care about the racial," he said, adding that it's all about line delivery and this actress nailed it. When, in a Season 3 script, she tells him to get a job. CK noted: "When a black woman tells you to get a job, it's just more..." and trailed off, laughing. Now that'll get y'all to learn our new commenting system this morning! [HuffPo]


"Wisdom when you can't remember anything is not quite there. Having more time to read when you can't see? I don't think it's better to be older... It doesn't have to be bad, but you have to know that at some point it will be — and sooner rather than later, which is why it's very important to eat your last meal before it actually comes up... When you are actually going to have your last meal, you'll either be too sick to have it or you aren't gonna know it's your last meal and you could squander it on something like a tuna melt and that would be ironic. So it's important ... I feel it's important to have that last meal today, tomorrow, soon." Ephron's ideal last meal was a A hot dog from Beverly Hill's famous Nate 'n Al Deli. We hope she had it. [HuffPo]

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At the premiere of Savages, the new movie by human dimebag Oliver Stone, Blake Lively said that the two main male characters, played by Taylor Kitsch and Aaron Johnson, "love each other as much as they love the girl, which I find interesting." (Asked a reporter, "It's not what you would look for in a normal boyfriend, right?" She replied "No, no, no, definitely not, that is a little too complicated.") If you were interested, she is looking for a short, pear-shaped man in his mid-50s who cannot fulfill her sexually and calms himself down during crises by frantically stroking his gleaming bald spot. JK she's looking for a tall guy who makes her laugh. [Access Hollywood]

Mike Tyson hawks a Polish energy drink by singing at a piano (in English). Give me this version of Lost In Translation any day. (Speaking of things that are lost in translation: Mike Tyson.) [Buzzfeed]



It turns out that the secret of Tom Cruise's eternally youthful face is not a Fountain of Youth slip-n'-slide in the VIP room of the L.A. Scientology Center, but it is nightingale excrement. Every night he mixes bird shit with rice bran and water and slathers it on before bed. Given that bird feces can carry 60 different strains of disease, that's what I call RISKY BUSINESS YOU GUYS CSK;'L'E'F'O'WEGHSAG. On the bright side, I bet if you smear it on your junk it gives you glitter jizz! [Winnipeg Free Press]