I really don’t want to take anything away from the Bills fans. I’ve never seen a fanbase so happy to be there like that fanbase was. Bills fans didn’t seem to care if they lost the game or not, they were just so happy to be invited, and that was honestly great to see. I’m genuinely happy for all those fans. The monkey is off their backs, and they can celebrate all they want. Just…think of the tables first. Aliens are going to visit earth after our inevitable nuclear holocaust and find a massive card table graveyard in Buffalo. So many ruined card tables.

I find it hilarious that after almost 2 decades of waiting, all they got was a field goal. In the worst game of the entire weekend. It would be tragic if the fans weren’t so damn happy just to be there. Imagine waiting 2 decades for a chance to win the lottery and you get 2 bucks on your scratch off. But you’ve blown so much money on tickets that you are actually happy about it.

What’s worse is I honestly don’t know if we’ll see the Bills here again any time soon. They already technically defied expectations (proving me wrong in the process) but let’s not forget: they backed into these playoffs. If you require other teams to lose for you to be accepted, you didn’t earn your place at the dance. You were a rebound that someone else is using because the first choice dumped them. The Bills were finally the beneficiaries of the universe instead of the team screwed over. For now, that’s probably enough to satisfy. Also it’s not like winning the Super Bowl requires you to be an unstoppable juggernaut. All you really need is an opportunity and anything can happen. I’ve witnessed it myself. All you need is a playoff berth. Your chances may be small, but if you get that berth, there’s a chance.

A lot of fans will get excited about the future of the Bills after this. Certainly has to be some room for positivity. This is Sean McDermott’s first year as HC and outside the Nathan Peterman debacle he seems like he knew what he was doing. The team was supposed to be a tank and competed all year. With some smart moves, this team could very well be on the up and up.

On the other hand, as a huge pessimist who throws nice things in the trash, I’m here to put the kibosh on that fun.

Everyone pumped for the positive future of the franchise because things are looking up needs to pop a few of those balloons lifting you into the sky and stay grounded. I can’t even count how many times we’ve been here: looking at a team that just took positive strides forward and seems to be heading for a good future only to fail the following season and have things unravel for dozens of different reasons. Last year the Giants were in the playoffs with a new coach and new outlook. This year was the worst Giants season in decades. Keep your expectations reasonable, Bills. Until you are in the playoffs more often than not over a few years you might want to view this year as an aberration until proven otherwise. Keep the support high but the skepticism right behind it so you don’t get crushed if bad things happen and realize that you waited two decades and change with only a field goal to show for it.

But for now at least, enjoy the season’s success and smash a few more tables, you monsters.

