Creationists Want Religion in School? Allow Me to Bring The Book of Heavy Metal

Metal Commandment #1: Death to all but metal!

I have a message for the Right Wing Christians who want to teach their religion in public schools.

So you wanna teach “creationism” as a science?

You wanna teach the bible as a text book?

And you wanna do this with my tax dollars?

Fine, but remember that it’s an equal country.

The schools have to teach my religion too.

I pray to the Heavy Metal Gods.

In the morning we will say a prayer to Dio – the all father and God of Metal.

And yes, we will teach evolution: the evolution of metal from heavy metal, to thrash, death and beyond.

Oh and the number one commandment is “death to all but metal.”

So your kids better not listen to any of that Justin Bieber or Dub Step crap…or else…

Enjoy my religion. Coming to a school near you.