Nothing is more important to me than a great sense of humor, and when it comes to the figures that have shaped mine, there’s one clear frontrunner: my old man. I mean seriously, my dad is the funniest guy I know.

My pops has been hilarious for as long as I can remember. There was this one thing he would always do when I was a kid when my mom would get mad at him for, like, no reason and then he’d walk with this huge, dramatic limp and I’d say, “Dad, what’s wrong?” and he’d say, “It’s the old ball and chain. It’s getting heavier…and heavier!” and then he’d fall to the ground. God, that made me laugh so hard, and it also taught me a ton about physical comedy and women.

While my dad will always take first place for the funniest dude position, he also exposed me to a lot of other funny guys. Some of my most formative memories are when he would come home late from work and sneak me out of bed to watch Monty Python, and then my mom would come downstairs and be like, ‘Why is he up? It took me hours to get him to go to sleep.” And he’d be like “I have a right to spend time with my son,” and she’d be like, “Then why don’t you try waking him up and getting him ready for school in the morning,” and he’d be like, “You’re crazy.” That tradition really tied us together.

I know you’re probably thinking, “Your dad sounds awesome, but your mom sounds like a real wet blanket,” but that’s not really fair to her. They’re actually sort of like a comedic duo. It’s like, my dad is Ferris Bueller and she’s the principal who’s always getting mad at Ferris Bueller. She isn’t really funny, but my dad did show me how funny it is to piss her off, and I think she likes being a part of that.

Because of my dad, I love jokes and just playing around. Whenever I start dating a girl, I tell her that a good sense of humor is the number one thing I look for in a partner. I can’t even tell you how many girls I’ve watched Anchorman with just to see if they get it, and I always ask myself, “What would my dad think of her reaction to this?”

I guess I just hope one day I’ll find a girl who gets my sense of humor enough that I actually want to take her home to meet my dad (and mom). But she had better be ready for some light roasting, because around my hilarious dad, no one is safe! Fuck, that dude is the best!!