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This is one moment when the outrage was actually disproportionate to the story, but in the other direction. Knowing our government was recording our everything should have sent us rioting in the streets and screaming at the White House in righteous anger. American men and women go to war to fight against regimes that treat their citizens like this. We should be rounding up pitchforks as we speak, not laughing it off with Twitter hashtag games.

Why It Was Old News:

We have yet to invent a form of communication that our government hasn't used to spy on us. Maybe that's why the American reaction to the news was more of a sad trombone sound and a fart than a raised fist. When we found out Verizon was collaborating with the NSA, did anyone disconnect their Verizon service in a fit of rage? Probably not -- shares of the company rose when the news broke. I guess investors were glad to know Verizon had found a new niche.

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"Everyone is out of milk! Buy! Buy! Buy!"

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It feels like the federal government has always been that weird jealous boyfriend who oversteps his boundaries, which makes the American people the insecure girlfriend who just puts up with it. For example, when George Washington was barely president, he requested money for a secret service fund, a fact I only discovered by visiting the CIA's Kids' Zone page. It wasn't long after the country started that we passed the Alien and Sedition Act, which gave the president the power to imprison anyone who dared to speak out against the government. True, the act was allowed to expire, but it was like we had already joined Slytherin by that point.