(I’m a customer standing in line behind another customer at a Mexican fast-food restaurant.)

Cashier: “How can I help you today?”

Customer: “Excuse me, but you gay?”

Cashier: “Um…I mean…yeah, but I don’t see what that—”

Customer: *menacing* “I’m gonna need you to leave this here store, so a good Christian can take my order. Got that?!”

(The manager has overheard all this and walks over.)

Manager: “I’m sorry, sir, but you’re going to have to leave.”

Customer: “Are you discriminating on me ’cause I’m a Christian?”

Manager: “No, sir, I am not. I am also a Christian.”

Customer: “And you, a claimed Christian, hired this sodomite?”

Manager: “I hired this man because he does his job extremely well and is a good employee.”

Customer: “But he’s a sodomite!”

Manager: “You need to leave, now.”

Customer: “I ain’t leavin ’til I get my here IMMIGRANT food from a good Christian!”

(Fed up, hungry, and in a rush, I speak up.)

Me: “If you’ll excuse me, sir, I’m in too much of a rush to deal with your bulls***. Since you’re being kicked out, I’m going to give my order to the nice cashier over here. You can also go ahead and get something for yourself on my tab, because no one should have to put up with you!”

(The four other customers behind me clapped, while the customer screamed, “YOU’RE ALL HEATHENS!” and ran out like he was being chased by Satan. On top of that, I got my order on the house!)