







4







10 Shares

I see people talking about if The Miami Heat should be tanking this season. They be like if we ain’t gonna be championship material than we should try to lose as many games as we can so we can get a good draft pick.

Bro, don’t you know Miami Heat jefe Pat Riley is like three steps ahead of you? While you’re picking your nose playing checkers, Pat Riley jacked your wallet and at the same time is playing chess.

You think losing to The Orlando Magic, the Atlanta Hawks, and the Sacramento Kings just happens? It takes brains to do that.

You think the reason Dion Waiters and James Johnson haven’t played a game yet this season is because of a couple boo-boos? You think Erik Spoelstra would ever let guys like Hassan Whiteside and Josh Richardson chase after stats the way they’ve been chasing them? The realest evidence for this is you think Pat Riley would normally let Dwyane Wade take a week or two off to go make a baby? The words paternity leave, ain’t in Pat Riley’s vocabulary.

Pat Riley saw last year in the playoffs when this team got had by the Sixers that he can’t do nothin’ with these players. He needs some fresh blood, some fresh meat. So when he couldn’t get Jimmy Butler or Kawhi Leonard in the summer, he put his tanking plan into action.

But Riley’s smart bro, when you’re tanking you can’t make it seem like you’re tanking. You let a guy like Dragic sit out for a few games here, you let Wayne Ellington sit out a few games there, you let Dwyane Wade chill out in LA in the middle of the season for a week. I bet he’ll probably go after Melo to help us lose a few more games. Next thing you know we’ve got a losing record and we’re ready to win the draft lottery.

And you know my dog Riley’s for sure got a hook up with the lottery commission to make sure the Heat get that first pick.