“I’m smarter than your average Peridot.”

Oof. I need a break. Do you need a break? Let’s take a break.

When I was a kindergarten kid, my family had a firm policy against “commercial TV,” as in any children’s television programming that included commercials. Our house didn’t get Cartoon Network until 2003-ish regardless, but this meant pretty much everything that wasn’t PBS (and later Disney Channel, which had commercials but not for toys) was restricted to friends’ houses until I was about eight. I was born in 1990, so the ban lift came right on time for Digimon and Pokémon to debut (in that order, fight me), but until then my access to cartoons was largely limited.

So yeah, unlike others of my age group, I didn’t grow up with Rugrats or Aaahh!!! Real Monsters, and due to the continued lack of Cartoon Network I also missed out on Dexter’s Laboratory and The Powerpuff Girls until reruns in the aughts. But I did have The Tapes, and The Tapes had Looney Tunes, so I was more than satisfied.

I still remember sitting up straighter when I first realized what Kindergarten Kid was doing back in 2016. The southwestern setting is a pretty big hint from the start, but we were cleverly introduced to the area in Beta and Earthlings and aren’t primed to see the Road Runner and Coyote connection until the plot revs up. And yes, these rivals are the clearest inspiration for Peridot’s futile attempts to outsmart a faster, “dumber” foe with intricate traps. But with an exception here or there for comic relief, Messrs. Coyote and Runner are silent, while Peridot is anything but. And as much fun as it would’ve been to go full throttle and make the entire sequence silent, I’m so glad to see Raven Molisee and Paul Villeco instead have Peridot emulate another icon from the Looney Tunes roster. And no, it’s not Porky Pig.

It’s ironic, because his best work sees him fail to come out on top, but I legitimately can’t think of a better cartoon character than Daffy Duck. Like, out of all cartoons, from every country, from any time period, period. Bugs Bunny is no slouch—he follows the legacy of Loki, Anansi, Reynard, and Maui as modern America’s most notable trickster deity—but Daffy perfected an archetype that’s largely unrepresented in myths of yore, and stands head and shoulders above all other examples, including Wile E. Coyote himself (and Daffy’s fun but better-in-the-comics counterpart, Donald Duck). Aptly referred to in Babylon 5 as “an ancient Egyptian god of frustration,” Daffy evolved from a perfectly good screwball character (Daffy Doodles is the best of this era) to the embodiment of self-inflicted pain.

I’ve already compared Peridot and Ruby to the little black duck before (seriously, stop what you’re doing and watch Daffy Doodles if that weird nickname doesn’t ring a bell), but Kindergarten Kid seems to go out of its way to evoke the essence of Daffy. Wile E. Coyote’s ploys may have the same convoluted detail as the Peri-Plans we see, but going on at length about how a scheme is going to work only for it to immediately fail? That’s Daffy Duck. Puffing up in confidence at the infallibility of said plan, and having it collapse in the middle of a smug victory lap? That’s Daffy Duck. This episode pulls its pacing straight out of the Hunting Trilogy (from which we get the famous “Rabbit Season!” “Duck Season!” debate), with Steven subbing in for both Elmer Fudd and Bugs depending on who Daffy is allied with at any given time, and it’s a beautiful thing to watch.

We even get variations of classic gags to keep things fresh. It would’ve been acceptable for Peridot to slowly dismantle an injector to crush Gem Runner, only for it to not fall until she’s right beneath it. But no, she realizes the risk, takes a step back, then gets crushed by falling rocks. I still would’ve laughed if her cannon refused to fire until she stepped in front of it, launching her over the horizon. But the recoil launches her backwards, crushing her with more rocks. Rehashing the exact same classic gags would’ve been an easy way out, but the gags are classic for a reason and I would’ve appreciated the tribute; that we see actual creative changes instead brings Kindergarten Kid to even higher heights. Yes, the final plummet is directly based on Wile E. Coyote’s own falls (sadly without the sound effect), but there’s a level of innovation here that’s compelling for an episode referencing the past so vividly.

Still, the biggest difference between Kindergarten Kid and vintage Looney Tunes is that unlike Daffy or Coyote, Peridot can make a change. The episode is similar to Barn Mates, in that both are a series of sketches that show Peridot and Steven trying and failing to accomplish a goal (which is perhaps the most clinical way to describe the standard Looney Tunes short). Both episodes end with a victory for Peridot when she realizes she must rethink the core problem, but Kindergarten Kid works better by halving the number of characters that need to grow. Barn Mates is by no means bad, but it’s hard to balance the story of its two leads, so Lapis is left without much focus behind her actions. This time the opponent is something of a force of nature, so we can spend more time digging into why Peridot’s plans aren’t working.

Peridot has already changed quite a bit, but her superiority complex remains a central tenet of her personality. It’s been tempered when Steven is involved, but she still treats most other Gems as intellectual inferiors even when she gets along with them. So of course she sees outbraining a Corrupted Gem as a cakewalk, and of course Steven teaches her the error of her ways with a lesson in empathy. These are obvious story beats, but old habits die hard, and I like that Peridot still has issues with her ego despite how far she’s come as a Crystal Gem.

It’s hard to compare any voice actor to Mel Blanc, in the same way it’s hard to compare any English-speaking playwright to Shakespeare, so I’m not gonna give praise that lofty, but Shelby Rabara still nails the fury of a gremlin who’s smart but thinks she’s way smarter. It’s not easy on the throat to shout this much, and in such specific nonverbal ways, but I still think her best moment is when her confident front falters, and she yells that she’s doing the best she can. She’s as angry as ever, but that glimpse of vulnerability shows that she’s not a lost cause like Coyote.

Steven also returns to old habits, focusing all his energy on helping Peridot and not mentioning his mother once. I can see how this might make Kindergarten Kid seem too flippant, but as we’ll confirm in Mindful Education, our hero is pushing down the bad feelings instead of dealing with them. I think it’s crucial to have a few episodes where he seems okay to lull us into the sense of security that his breakdown destroys, and just like Bubbled, it’s clear that his coping mechanism is putting others before himself. He never complains about the physical injuries caused by Peridot’s poor planning, instead making sure his friend is okay.

Like Log Date 7 15 2, the show leans into Peridot’s brand of comic relief to cool us down from a major event. This is an even sillier episode, to the point that the other Crystal Gems are watching it for entertainment value, but it comes after an even more harrowing Diamond reveal. And because this one has more to do with Steven, he gets more to do in the episode: he’s not reliving a Peridot montage, he’s participating in her adventure, and the episode is stronger for it.

I understand that comedy is subjective. For instance, I’m not huge on meta humor in the style of our next episode; I acknowledge that it’s done well, but it’s not for me. So I don’t expect everyone to be huge on this episode, especially if you tragically lack a childhood full of ducks getting their beaks blown off and rabbits dancing up to bulls to slap them in the face. But hopefully folks who were let down in their first viewing, expecting more drama and lore in our post-shattering reality, can give Kindergarten Kid another look, perhaps after downing some classic cartoons, and enjoy it for the outstanding love letter that it is.

(I still don’t know why she references Yogi Bear, that’s a whole other era of cartoon, but nobody’s perfect.)

If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have inconsistencies…

I know it’s absurd to nitpick unrealistic elements of such a cartoony episode, but Steven’s endless bag of marshmallows bugs me. At least it gives us another Peridot-as-raccoon reaction.

We’re the one, we’re the ONE! TWO! THREE! FOUR!



It barely misses the cut, but boy do I love this episode. Like any great Looney Tunes short, I can watch it and laugh no matter how many times I’ve seen it; the gags are so pure that rather than getting bored of them, I now chuckle in anticipation before the hits even come.

Top Twenty



Love ‘em



Like ‘em

Enh

No Thanks!

5. Horror Club

4. Fusion Cuisine

3. House Guest

2. Sadie’s Song

1. Island Adventure

(I’m almost happy there’s no promo art for this one, because hot damn do I love this pic from Dark Tarou.)