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RAF fighter jets were reportedly dispatched to make a big fucking deal out of two Russian bombers that flew close to UK airspace this morning, every media outlet can suddenly confirm.

WWN has learned the Russian Tu-160 “Blackjack” bombers flew close to UK airspace between the Shetland and Faroe islands at around 10am, and apparently stared out the cockpit window in the general direction of England.

“They looked like they wanted to bomb something, probably the queen,” RAF pilot Darren Kent recalls, “and one of them waved at us, all friendly-like. It’s obvious they were trying their best to avoid our airspace, which is extremely worrying to say the least”.

Not only that, the two Russian bombers went on to avoid Irish airspace too, flying down the west coast and onto the Bay of Biscay, where French and Spanish aircraft took over making a huge fucking deal of things.

“Imagine if they met a US military plane about to land in Shannon,” one worried Limerick man said about the incident, “It’s absolutely disgraceful that a foreign military jet could come so close to Ireland like that, especially with our neutral stance on just about every conflict going”.

The RAF refused to comment on why similar aircraft from other countries were never intercepted when passing the UK.