Alabama outlaws abortion in cases of incest because that’s about half their population

Almost half the population of Alabama could be affected if abortion in cases of inbreeding was legalised, reports have confirmed today.

Leftist agitators have objected to the new law, which threatens jail for any doctor and patient trying to abort a fetus which results from brothers and sisters, uncles, aunts and cousins just doin’ what comes naturally.

Genetic studies show that nigh-on 50% of the population are kissin’ cousins, and almost 10% are effectively genetically the same person – meaning that legalising abortion in such cases could lead to ‘catastrophic population decline’ if people got behind the idea.

Speaking to reporters, State Legislator Simon-Bob Williams said, “My sister Maisie-Jim is as fine a piece of wummanflesh as you could wish to meet, and anyone claps eyes on her agrees the Lord wills that any red-blooded man would want to begat children upon her.

“Our kids Cletus, Emmy-Bob and Chivington are proof of God’s love of our union, just like we were of our parents who, incidentally, are our children too.”