Currently listening to “Jumpstarting” by Deer Tick.

A new chapter has been added to my travels abroad and it’s got me more excited than 13 year old Burgaholic seeing Porky’s for the first time. I just got back from Berlin, Germany and it was everything I wanted it to be, and more. The sights were beautiful, the food was amazing, and the people are extremely warm and welcoming. The city, even though it is capital of Germany and the 5th most populated city in Europe, still has this low-key, industrial, working class vibe. That being said, the nightlife scene is one of craziest ones I have been around. A work hard, party harder ethic displayed at it’s finest. The first night we arrived was a blur, but quite the treat. After a quick power nap, a burger, and a couple of cold German lagers, we bundled up and walked down the street to a really great venue, Bi Nuu, which is located inside the same structure as one of the train station, to see the one and only Deer Tick perform. Among sight seeing and other exploratory missions throughout the week, another main highlight was taking the Bite Berlin food tour. Our host, Sam, was super kind, personable, and knowledgeable with important historical facts and of course, she knew all the best burger joints in town. If you are ever in Berlin, take this tour, but be sure to bring your goggles, helmet, and ear plugs because your taste buds are about to explode. Also, go to The Ramones Museum because it’s super rad.



Before we jump into the only reason you’re here, let me rewind a bit and set the scene for you. The sun was setting over what is left of the Berlin Wall. The weather was a nippy 40 degrees. The water on the Spree was as smooth as glass and perfectly reflected the lights and sounds of the restaurants and bars nearby. People passing by in heavy coats and scarves would come to an immediate stop, in shock, and whisper to each other “Was that extremely young, fit, good looking man that we just walked by THE Burgaholic?!” Why yes. Yes it was. ::Elvis lip:: Thank you very much. The short walk over the Oberbaumbrücke Bridge lead me straight to one of things I had been desiring this whole trip. A restaurant so unique and tiny that you would walk right by it if you weren’t look for it. This is Burgermeister. Check it out!

Burgermeister is one of a kind. They might be known for the best burgers in town by some, but to others they are just known for their crappy building. This is just a joke guys, relax. The whole building used to be a public restroom, which was converted into a small burger kiosk that took off with locals and foreigners alike. That’s right, before there was ketchup and mustard there was fresh butt custard. Before the sautéed mushrooms it was simply the “long wait gush room”. Before bacon and pickles? Makin’ it trickle. But the good news is that either way you look at it, buns were always involved and are still put to good use. It was winter when I visited, so they put a plastic see through tent-like concoction up to block out the rain and cold. At the time, the inside was very crowded, so I somewhat understand those popsicle people sitting outside on the picnic tables just to have a little breathing room. During the summer, it’s all open air which attracts many more hungry Burgerheads. The process is pretty simple. Cross over the street and onto the median where Burgermeister resides. After you have waited in line, and there WILL be a line, walk up to what now looks like an old train caboose and order through the first window with the extremely nice and patient cashier. The menu board is conveniently in front of your face so you don’t look like Winona Ryder after winning a SAG Awards while ordering your meal. Once this task is complete, you hang out and judge people with envious disgust as their number gets called before yours, kind of like when you’re at the DMV. Once your number is blinking on the large scoreboard-like-sign, run up, slide into home, thank the extremely hard working cooks, and scavenger around to try and anywhere to inhale these insane sangwiches. These are the exact procedures I took and I was very successful. Want proof? Ladies and gentlemen, check out the Meister Allen Klassen.

This big MAK was stuffed with two flat top fried beef patties, two slices of cheese, bacon, barbecue sauce, pickled jalapeño, and lettuce in between two delectably soft buns. First off, WOW. Through all my burgers abroad, this one reminded me of a perfectly prepared American burger. Since the meat was pressed into thin patties and fried until crispy charred on the outside and warm and soft on the inside, it was extremely delicate and almost melted in my mouth. The bacon still had a floppiness to it, but it was walking the fine line of becoming crispy and crunchy, which is just the way I like it. This allowed it to tear off easily with each bite and fill your mouth with that salty, porky goodness. The barbecue sauce was a nice touch. Not too smokey, not too sweet, but had the just the right rich balance of the two. You know that I can never get enough jalapeños, so I was a little bummed when I saw they were pickled, but overall it gave off a little spice and complimented every chomp after being combined with all the other ingredients. The real star of this burger was the cheese. Sweet baby Cheesus, I do not know what kind of cheese this was but once it melted, it tasted like my tongue was riding a bacon surfboard, ripping through a 16 foot barrel of liquid cheddar. You know that scene in A Goofy Movie where Bobby Zimmeruski makes the Leaning Tower of Cheeza and slams a handful of cheez whiz in and all over his mouth? Well, add bacon, beef, and barbecue sauce to that, and that was me. TALK TO ME TALK TO ME TALK TO ME BAYBAAYYY! It’s also as if I had a sixth sense, and instead of dead people, I could see the future and I knew this cheese would bring me so much joy. This is why I ordered the cheese fries as well. With a cold German beer to wash it all down with, my worries of the world had temporarily disappeared. Without a doubt, the Meister Allen Klassen is knighted with 5 of 5 burgz.

I love Berlin and I can’t wait until I get the opportunity to come back. Actually you know what? I just might move there. So, whenever you come to visit me in my new habitat, you have to make Burgermeister one of your stops. The line might look discouraging at first, but it moves at a pretty decent rate and you will never forget the time you ate a toilet burger.

Burgermeister

U1 Schlesisches Tor, Oberbaumstraße 8



10997, Berlin, Germany

www.burger-meister.de