As we’ve now entered the third decade of the twenty-first century, sexting has long become a staple of online gay sex talk. And that’s no wonder: sexting is a great way to have fun, meet new people, and channel all that pent-up sexual energy. It’s also one of the best ways out there to try out and practice your pick-up lines and flirty banter.

However, just because everyone seems to be sexting nowadays, it doesn’t mean that they are all doing it right. Like any other form of communication, gay sexting has its tricks. If you don’t know what you are doing, it can be all too easy to make a mistake that could put off your partner for good. To make sure that doesn’t happen and to help you step up your game, we have compiled eight key tips for gay sexting that will make him weak at the knees.

Gay sexting tips to turn him on

1. Go slow

Now, this one is an absolute must — ignore it at your peril. You should always take ample time to stoke your partner’s desire. The longer the build-up, the more intense the release will be. What’s more, going slow is all the more important if you two have only just met online, as it can be much more difficult to establish a connection with someone you haven’t seen face-to-face.

Build up suspense and anticipation by sending a series of suggestive pictures of yourself or others that show just enough — but never too much. Images that stop just shy of the crotch area and only hint at the beginning of the V-shaped muscle are sure to get him excited like there is no tomorrow. Photographs of the bend of the lower back that end just above the area down south should also do the trick. Pair the visuals with some good old dirty talk, and he will be all yours for the taking.

2. Keep the mystery

When sexting a guy, what you don’t say is just as important as what you do say. Too much and too explicit dirty talk can sometimes be an overkill. Don’t bombard him with words: some things are better left to the imagination. Be suggestive rather than overly descriptive — who knows, maybe he would like to finish off that sentence for you.

It’s also a good idea to be mysterious yourself. Don’t share too many details about your life; the chances are he doesn’t really care what you do for a living anyway. Triviality is the death of creativity and eroticism — you are much better off remaining the tall dark stranger.

3. Show, don’t tell

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words, and when it comes to sexting, they could not be more right. Instead of going on and on about what you’d do to him or have him do to you, just show it. Send him a photo, GIF, or video that illustrates exactly what you mean. Trust us when we tell you that he’d definitely appreciate the visual aid.

4. Make him laugh

Don’t be afraid to get funny: humor is your greatest ally in the sexting game. Genuine laughter fosters intimacy and connection and can tear down all sorts of emotional barriers and inhibitions. What’s more, jokes are a great way to make your partner feel more at ease, especially if he is new to this whole gay men sexting thing.

However, make sure your humor is appropriate and more on the subtle side. A sex chat room is not the place for crude and vulgar jokes, even if they are hilarious. Keep them classy, sophisticated, and suggestive.

5. Use props

When it comes to sexting, the only limit to what goes on in the chatbox is your imagination. This is your chance to create a whole new persona, replete with a stage name, unique mannerisms and tone of voice, and, yes, props. This way, you get to have fun and explore your sexuality and take your partner on a creative sensual journey. So unleash your artistic spirit and experiment with various costumes, accessories, sex toys, and even makeup and wigs. Beads, feathers, sequins — nothing’s off-limits.

6. Guide him

Your partner might be a little bit shy or simply new to sexting. If that is the case, it is important that you guide him gently along the way without pressuring him to do things he is not ready for.

You could try asking him open-ended questions to encourage him to share more: “Where would you like me to touch you now?” or “Tell me what you’d like us to do if we were in the shower together.” Fill-in-the-blank statements might also do the trick: “I feel most aroused when ………” or “My favorite part on the male body is …………”

Alternatively, you could make suggestions such as “Would you like to join me in the shower?” or “How about I go down on you right now?”

7. Come up with your own style

When sexting, it is crucial that you develop your own unique style of writing and interaction with your partner(s). Copying other people’s ready-to-use compliments and recycled pick-up lines always sounds forced and will get you nowhere. Your goal should be to sound natural and genuine — there’s nothing sexier than that.

Don’t forget that it’s okay not to get it right the first time round — or the second, or the third. Practice makes perfect, and the more you practice, the more your confidence will grow.

8. Remember your manners

Last but not least, observing the rules of sexting etiquette is essential to keeping everyone safe, happy, and pleasantly excited.

As a bare minimum, always ask for your partner’s consent before attempting something new or sending graphic videos or images for the first time. Don’t disclose or ask for personally identifiable information such as names, addresses, or places of work. Don’t forget to always ask if the timing is right for your partner and never leave in the middle of the conversation. And, please, don’t sext at work.

To conclude

If done right, there’s nothing quite like sexting to turn him on and keep the fire burning. Sexting is one of the best ways for gay, bisexual, and queer men to have fun online from the safety of their home. So, what are you waiting for? The chat room awaits!