The SCOTUS Marriage Decision, in Haiku

Roberts’ dissent:

I support you all

No, really, I do, but this

Isn’t our problem.

Alito’s dissent:

“Happiness is not

the point of marriage, fools. It’s

BABIES,” he whispered.

Thomas’ dissent:

“Liberty” – this word,

I do not think Locke means what

You think it means. Sigh.

Scalia’s dissent:

You’re not a poet,

Kennedy. And by the way,

Democracy’s dead.

Kennedy’s majority decision:

Hark! Love is love, and

love is love is love is love.

It is so ordered.