Attenshun Boyz!

We’z taken control of da ’umies’ secret weppun – “The Regimental Standard”.

Da Mekz ’av been analysin’ it dead carefully. ’Ere’s what we’ve found out:

– It’z a magic paper with glyphs wot make da ‘umies fight harder.

– You can krump somewun wiv it, but it takes yonks and makes da glyphs ’ard to read ’cos of da blood.

– Dat’z it.

Me – Blood Axe Stormboy Orgruk Badfragg – ’az worked out da secretz of da Regimental Standard, and ‘av looted it.*

Introducin’:

Ev’ry week,** I’z gonna bring you know-wots from da world of da ’umies, startin’ wiv da basics.

I know you ladz wanna run in all da time but da ’umies ’av invented somethin’ called “Taktiks”.*** We got der speshul book and I’ve used my know-wots to turn it Orky so even da squigbrains can understand.

The Codex Waaagh!-startes

Be choppy ‘coz your boyz iz da best.

Be kunnin’, den be choppy.

Get yer mates to yell at da enemy so da Lootas can blast ’em.

Dunno.

Fink this one iz wrong. ’Old on.

Better.

Wiv dis knowledge, da Orks will be unstoppable!

Come back next week, when I’ll show ya how Dakka workz.

++ORK FOR THE DAY: Bogreb, ’cos he made dat ’umie wiv da big hat swallow a stikkbomb then fed ’im to a squig. Rest in pieces, Bouncy – you woz a good squig. And delishus.++

* Well, ’e’z yellin’ at a grot to write it, but don’t tell ’im I told ya’ dat – Snivlit

** Until I get bored of it, anywayz.

*** Lots of it iz “fix bayonets”. ‘Umies are a lot betta than I thought.

**** Space Marine iz what da ’umies call der Nobz. Dey’z a lot more fun than normal ’umies but hurt yer teef if you don’t peel ’em before eatin’ ’em.

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