Ryan Zimmerman plays the Didgeridoo

It sort of goes without saying that Ryan Zimmerman is the least quirky star athlete in D.C. Long ago, he started saying "I've got nothing for you" if I would even try to approach him.

Turns out, though, all you had to do was offer him a commercial spot with American Service Center/Mercedes-Benz of Alexandria, and the quirks come spilling out like melted cheese when you poke the outside of a papusa. You're simply gonna have to listen to these three spots that he recently recorded. Yes, this is really him talking. It will be hard for me to be more shocked by anything in D.C. sports this week.



Also, you could rightly charge me with providing a never-ending stream of free ad space for American Service Center/Mercedes-Benz of Alexandria, but they're just about the only local company that's even trying to make comical local ads anymore. That's the same outfit behind Bruce Boudreau's garden salad.

These will start airing on D.C. radio at the end of the month.