I need not state that access to credible information is a human right for us, the people. I believe us, the people, have a right to access said information in the form of an audiobook of Robert Evans' A Brief History of Vice read by Billy Wayne Davis.

Why have they not provided us, the people, such a basic right? Does Robert Evans truly not care for his base? Is he but a chess piece, to be used by Sophie Lichterman, held in check by the same produce-sling-on-a-stick race we, the people, unwillingly participate in? Is this just a desperate attempt to get my five seconds of fame? Is Billy Wayne Davis real? Or is this all but the beagles and games to you, me, us, the people ?!

Only Mister Evans can answer this. Yet he sits, on the Machete iron throne, leaving us to forever toil with the slim promise of minimal wealth of knowledge of Davis', hot, masculine, chocolatey voice reading the book by R. Evans.

And like many of you, the people, I alone probably will not be heard, shoved aside, to be used, squandered without a second thought by these creatures of greed. However, alone but a lonely whispering plea. Together, in solidarity, we are a powerful force, a hurricane of but one demand:

We, the people, have this right!

And so, this petition came to be. For you, for me, for us. To hear Davis' soothing, caressing, sex-panther-of-a voice read A Brief History of Vice, a work of Robert Evans.

We shall let our voice be heard, let our demands be met! Let them, who withhold us from this right, send their lap dogs to strike us down! We shall send those Arderson-sons-of-bitches back!

For together, the union, makes us strong!