(PNS reporting from TOPEKA) Are you angry? Is your ugly truck plastered with bigoted stickers? Do you have homemade explosives at home and in your vehicle? Are you a veteran who hates immigrants and anyone who “no-speako-the-English?”

No problemo, amigo! Come to Topeka, KS where you can park your truck full of homemade explosives next to a government building and the police will look the other way!

That’s right, friend – you can build all the homemade bombs you want (now with deadly shrapnel!) pile them in your beat-up truck and bring ‘em on down to the Kansas State building for a Ka-booming good time! Yes, you can be just like Timothy McVeigh and plot endless schemes of domestic terrorism and the cops in Kansas will just shrug their shoulders say, “Whoops…”

Officials with the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives, Kansas Highway Patrol and Topeka Police Department are firm when it comes to letting people with explosive devices in their vehicles walk away. They are reaching out to domestic terrorists everywhere in an effort to get more violent extremists to move to Kansas.

Not only will the Kansas police not kill you on site but they won’t even throw you in jail!

That’s right! Your name or picture will not be released to the public, you will not be tased, pepper sprayed, beaten unconscious or shot in the face. Hell, the Kansas authorities will not even question your motives! Just kindly tell them you had an “appointment” at the Statehouse and you’re free to go – no questions asked!

When asked whether he thought the suspect, now free, posed any danger, Topeka Chief of police Bob Knownothing told PNS he wouldn’t speculate:

Anybody could be dangerous but this guy didn’t appear to be Brown. I can say that if that we thought he’d be a threat, more than likely we would have kept him incarcerated, but this is Kansas and as long as you hate immigrants we could care less how many explosive devices you have in your truck.

Never mind the pesky Patriot Act, getting molested at the airport, racial profiling, the War on Terror or the Oklahoma City bombing – none of these things matter in the Sunflower State! So, get your weapons of mass destruction ready – Kansas wants you!

S. J. Rivera is an Indie Publisher/Author and Smartass @ Broken Sword Publications