Loving The Angel

1995, an average night...

Dave pushes me against the wall, kissing my lips first, then my neck. He takes off my shirt, I finally feel his hands on my bare skin. Small shivers of pleasure spread throughout my body, literally sending me on fire.

Meet Dave Gahan in a bar and being in his hotel room a little later, is the most absurd thing I could imagine.

The room is lit by a dim light, that makes everything more surreal and suggestive.

«Dave...» I moan, «don't stop, please...»

It didn't have to go like this, but the last thing I want is that Dave stops.

Maybe I'm breaking every rule, but I don't care. Not now. I just wanted to watch him from afar, but things went differently...

«I'm not stopping with you» he whispers, driving me crazy.

«You said... you can't stay» tells me Dave between kisses. «What the hell do I have to do to change your mind?» Dave stops kissing me, takes my face in his hands and looks me in the eyes, pleading.

«You didn't even tell me your name, mystery girl» he insists.

«Call me... Angel.» My hands rest on his wrists, and my forehead touches his. I lose myself looking at his brown eyes, and the tiny green shades.

«Angel» repeats, smiling. «Are you a real angel? Are you rewarding me because I've been clean for more days, this time?» he tells me, alluding to his drug addiction.

«Maybe. Let me prove it to you, Dave» I go on to say.

I unbotton his shirt, letting it fall to the floor. I feel pleasure vibes touching his skin... With my hands I enjoy tracing the edges of his tattoos, pausing on the beautiful phoenix on his chest. I kiss his bare skin, breathing in his sweet smell.

«Could you turn around? Please» I ask him. I want to see his last tattoo, the one on his back. Dave is very thin, but this tattoo makes his back imposing and majestic.

«It's really beautiful» I exclaim.

«Eleven hours. I've suffered eleven fucking hours to have this tattoo on my skin. Now I can stand everything, don't you think?» he asks me rhetorically.

«I would say yes.» He turns around again, his eyes are looking at mine.

«Your optimistic eyes seem like paradise» he tells me, using the words of Black Celebration.

«Hey, it's unfair to use Martin's lyrics!» I laugh, and he moves a lock of my hair behind my ear.

«You're so beautiful...» he tells me. «And you're not a drug-addict like me, I'm sure of it. So... why do you want me? It's because I'm Dave Gahan, Depeche Mode frontman? I'm just a shitty junkie, and I'm throwing everything away. Success, my voice, my relationship with my son, everything...» I shut him up.

«You will find your way, Dave. I promise.»

He presses his lips to mine, his tongue looks for mine and I let it take what it wants. Dave could take every part of me...

He goes down to kiss my neck and then my body, and his tongue stops on my belly button, licking it.

«Yes, please» I whisper again. Dave kisses my belly and bites my breasts, gently.

He goes further down, kissing every little detail of my body, until he lets my skirt off and then my panties. I put my hands in his hair, when I feel his tongue on my intimacy. I squeeze his hair harder, urging him to continue his sweet, irresistible activity. I feel wet, and I moan his name.

Suddenly Dave stops, then grabs my hips and lifts me up against the wall.

«I feel blessed» he tells me, ecstatic. «Stay with me, my Angel.» I shut him up stealing another kiss from him. He still has my taste in his mouth...

I take his jeans off, looking at his big erection. I take it in my mouth, grabbing his lean hips. I hear him moan with pleasure, and I look up at his beautiful face and his expression, totally immersed in the pleasure I'm giving him. He is beautiful like Jesus, with that messy hair. My personal Jesus, literally.

When I stop, Dave is impatient... He lifts me up, and I hold my legs around his pelvis. We are both naked, now.

He finally brings me to bed, and while he looks at me with his eyes, his fingers touch my intimacy, and then start moving inside me. I seem to lose the coignition of time and space, again.

When I'm about to achieve orgasm, Dave slips off his thin fingers and positions himself above me, adhering perfectly to my body. With a firm push he is inside me, ready to give me his pleasure as I am ready to give him mine.

«Come for me, now» he whispers to me, and I melt.

I hold him tightly, my hands rest on his slender back and then tighten his ass, until it is scratched. Our bodies dance together, one lost in the other, until we both feel finally pervaded by the purest pleasure, together.

Every part of my body is bursting with energy. I feel alive, and if only I could, I'd stay with him forever. But I cannot...

Dave collapses on my body, and I feel his hot liquid on my belly.

«I want to get lost in you and never find myself again» he whispers, resting his head in the hollow of my neck.

«Oh, David... you are amazing» I say, stroking his hair.

«Why can't you stay? Please, tell me. I gave you all myself, in exchange I deserve some answer» he insists on asking me.

«You wouldn't believe me if I told you.» Dave stands up, allowing me to turn away. A small tear lines my face... I feel his arms around me, and his lips kiss my neck.

«I'll believe you, I swear» he tells me, with the sweetest voice he could use.

«You will find love again, Dave. You will have another child, and you will make music for a long, long time» I tell him. Dave twists a lock of my hair around the index finger.

«And I bet this woman will have beautiful hazel eyes and brown long hair. This woman is here in my bed, now.» He smiles.

«Well, I'll tell you. You won't remember anything, you might as well know it.

You were joking, when you asked me if I was a real angel... but it's not a joke, it's all real.

I'm an angel, Dave. It's weird, I know! But that's why I can't stay here with you, that's why I can't be that woman. But I came to tell you not to give up, I know you can do it. It's up to you to decide. I'll watch over you.» Dave kisses my shoulder, holding me.

«You are raving» he answers me. «Angels don't have sex!» He laughs, and my heart lose a beat.

«Who said that? Anyway, you are a good reason to go to Hell.» I turn around, looking in his eyes.

«Will you go to Hell? My fault?» he exclaims.

«No Hell, don't worry for me. Making love with you was the best thing that could have happened to me... Love, not just sex. Because I love you, rember this.»

«And I love you too, little angel. Will you come back, sometimes?» he asks me, hopefull.

«Until you're single, gladly!» I laugh.

«Would you make love with me again, in the shower?» he asks me, pleading.

«Yes, Dave. Lift me higher... If you know what I mean» I whisper.

I asked him a last wish: so, when the sweet notes of Higher Love start from the stereo and at the same time I feel his body on mine, under the hot water of the shower, I feel complete.

When Dave fall asleep, I dress and go away, with tears in my eyes.

When he wakes up he will find a feather on his bed, and perhaps he will remember me in the dark moments, or in the happy ones. Maybe he will see me in a cloud, or in the words of his songs.

I'll watch over him, I promised.

I'll be his angel, forever.