Earlier, we brought you the worst thing written about Marshawn Lynch. Now, behold the worst thing said about him, courtesy of the Bucky and Sully Show.


One of these guys is so worked up about what a piece of shit he thinks Marshawn Lynch is that he says with a straight face that "supposedly" stealing $20 and bringing his own liquor into bars "are all felonies, in my book." His partner—Sucky or Bully, I can't tell these guys apart—takes it to a whole new level, though. He shares a story from a "friend in town" who said Marshawn Lynch showed up to a high school event "reeking of marijuana... dropping N-bombs." Did he ask Lynch about it? Or anyone else at the school? Who knows?! He just threw it out there.


In the span of two weeks, Lynch and Richard Sherman have demonstrated the damned-if-you-do, damned-if-you-don't pit of quicksand black players find themselves in when they offend the sensibilities of the grumps covering them. What's interesting is how quick clowns like this—they actually go the "think of the children" route!—are to track back over their own made-up premises. It's never the guy complaining who's offended by whatever, you understand, but some third party. Maybe Marshawn Lynch is a good guy at heart, but that's not how it plays when you don't talk to us.

This is how racism insulates itself. A strawman hypothesis that Marshawn Lynch is being too heavily praised for being a good guy opens the door for all manner of anecdotal evidence to the contrary. Which then becomes the accused's burden to disprove, an invisible snake swallowing its hypothetical tail.

Marshawn Lynch is a football player. His job is to play football and sometimes talk to the media about playing football. His job is not to satisfactorily curtsy before the media, then and only then dispelling every racist notion someone else had of him.

[Idiots]