Do parents have a favorite child?

Of course not!

… is what they’ll tell you.

But the real answer, of course, is more complex. Children have long had sneaking suspicions—and sometimes overt evidence—that Mom and Dad had a prized pick of the pack, the offspring they fawned over, boasted about and called for the most. The perception of favoritism is one of the biggest factors in sibling rivalry, developmental behavioral pediatrician Barbara Howard told the New York Times.

Family sociologist Katherine Conger of the University of California, Davis researched the dynamics between siblings and their parents, and in her longitudinal study, 70 percent of dads and 74 percent of moms confessed that they showed preferential treatment toward one child. So it turns out it’s not just in your head.

In AskReddit discussions, mothers and fathers tackled the taboo topic with honesty. Here’s how they answered the question: “Do parents have a favorite child?”

You don’t love one child more but you do love them differently.

Your “favorite child” changes all the time.

Sometimes, you simply click more with one child.

It’s a complicated question, and the answer is always changing. But to sum it all up, there’s this.