WASHINGTON – After announcing that his family will be staying in DC for a few more years, President Obama said Tuesday that he and Mrs. Obama plan to open a new house venue in DC once their tenure in the White House is over.

“The place we’re moving into doesn’t have close neighbors, and the basement is huge,” President Obama told reporters. “So I thought, ‘Why not throw some killer, all-ages house shows?’”

The first family’s new home in Petworth is an old brownstone, painted a dark green and will be known as “White House 2.” According to President Obama, the backyard is perfect for those who want to smoke a cigarette or simply hang out between acts. The family also plans to put a large sign on the front door, made of cardboard culled from leftover cases of beer, asking that “punks use the back alley and don’t hang around out front as the neighbors are nice people who have to work in the morning.”

“My background is in community organizing, so why not help out some touring bands while we are here and bring everyone together?” the president said. “Once we get going a little bit, I’m going to set up a small studio on the second floor to run my tape label out of. Small runs from mostly local bands but I’m open to whatever.”

The Secret Service will continue to detail President Obama, but they are not losing out on their opportunity to contribute. One agent assigned to the First Lady has an experimental doom project he has fostered for the last few years, and hopes to get on some of the new venue’s bills.

When asked if the venue will be dry, the President responded, “No way! It is definitely going to be BYO-Whatever!”