Want to be sure you’re not raping someone? There’s an app for that. Good2Go, is a free “consent” mobile phone app that “targets college-age adults”. Because “don’t rape” is a lesson best left until college, apparently.

This comes as California signs the “yes means yes” sexual assault bill to adopt requirements for colleges to follow when investigating sexual assault reports, shifting the language of the debate to emphasise that the absence of a “no” is not a “yes”. Good2Go president Lee Ann Allman told Slate magazine she was inspired to create the app after talking with her college-aged kids about sexual assault on campuses in America, and says on her LinkedIn page she hopes it will “help alleviate the culture of confusion, fear, and abuse on campus”.

So, if you want to have sex, the idea is that you open the app and then have your partner answer the question: “Are we Good2Go?” The options then are: “No, thanks” – at which point the app says: “Remember! No means No! Only Yes means Yes, BUT can be changed to NO at anytime!”; “Yes, but … we need to talk”; or “I’m Good2Go” – at which point the partner then selects a sobriety level from another menu: “Sober,” “Mildly Intoxicated,” “Intoxicated but Good2Go,” or “Pretty Wasted”. The app then goes through a verification check using the partner’s phone number, thus, in theory, confirming both their identity and state of mind. Pretty wasted people can’t consent; please exit the area.

Aside from being a painful reminder of how badly the education system has failed young people, what’s wrong with Good2Go?

Firstly, asking someone to sign a waiver in case they later decide to falsely accuse you of assault is officially the worst foreplay ever. Good2Go also assumes people who are “pretty wasted” can identify themselves as such, rather than insist they are sober by walking in a “straight” line, touching their nose and declaring themselves “Good2Go” from inside the jumper that is stuck around their head.

But it gets more sinister when you consider who would download it – men who are nervous of being accused of rape. Is this something non-rapists lose sleep over? Or do people think women’s favourite pastime is fabricating claims of life-ruining assaults?

Also, every “I’m Good2Go” agreement is logged and tied to both users’ accounts and phone numbers. Allman says it could be “beneficial ... where the accused is an innocent party”, although it’s unclear how an “I’m Good2Go” log can provide evidence that there was no assault when consent can be withdrawn later. If that were sufficient, rapists would just add “click ‘I’m Good2Go’” to the things they force their victims to do.

Allman also points out, in the site’s frequently asked questions, that in no way is clicking “I’m Good2Go” a legally binding contract – being sued for breach of contract would rather destroy the message of “yes can be changed to no anytime”.