Bananas. Apparently, they’re kind of a big deal. The Doctor certainly thinks so. If we were to follow his advice to always bring a banana to a party, however, there may be times when we run into some trouble.

It has recently been revealed that the enormously talented musician Jack White is tragically anti-banana. Even individuals as brilliant as he have their glaring flaws, I suppose. A leaked rider from his performance at the University of Oklahoma includes a stern request for there to be no bananas anywhere in sight.

The cryptic nature of this demand has left many scratching their heads. Why no bananas? How severe would the consequences be if the contract were to be breached? Would it be offensive enough to start a war? If so, the obvious leader of the banana opposition would be Jack White, himself. Here we see him with his army of Weeping Angels.

Strax would certainly be delighted at the opportunity to fight in The Great Banana War. We are fairly certain that he would be on team banana, as are we at Doctor Who Watch. We have some ideas to aid us in our pursuit of victory.

Funds could be raised for the war effort by erecting numerous banana stands all over the world. Remember, there’s always money in the banana stand. Considering that they are not known for being very roomy, we could use Time Lord technology to make them bigger on the inside.

Our warriors could “TARDIS blue” themselves, Braveheart style, as illustrated in this Doctor Who/Arrested Development mashup (Oh, nice pun!):

There is already a lot of pro-banana propaganda that can be used in the war campaign. Banana art has become rather popular. And here is a song to rally the troops.

Even the TARDIS has a song.

What do you think of the possible impending Great Banana War? On what side would you be?