What to give someone who already has it all

My wife’s birthday is coming up in a few weeks and I’m not sure what to get her. To try and think of some ideas, I have been desperately searching the Internet. This has been an entertaining exercise, but unfortunately I still haven’t figured out what to get her. However, my search hasn’t been completely pointless – I did manage to find what is possibly the strangest thing ever invented since the Shake Weight.

The Midas touch

The product that I found is the ambiguously titled Gold Pills. For the modest price of $425 you can buy one of these Gold Pills which, according to the description on the website:

“…these 24K gold leaf capsules turn your innermost parts into chambers of wealth. Consume and digest.”

Or to rephrase this in plain English: “These pills will turn your shit into gold”.

At first I thought that this product was just a joke, but after conducting a very small amount of research, I am confident that these “poo pills” are completely real. What is probably the most worrying thing about this product is according to the website, it has sold out. This means that a reasonable amount of people thought that turning their poop into gold was a good idea – or at least would make a great gift idea.

I can just imagine how the conversation would have sounded when they came up with the idea for these…uhh…pills.

Executive 1: “We need to create a product for the man who already has everything”

Executive 2: “Sure, do you have any suggestions?”

Executive 1: “How about something made of gold?”

Executive 2: “Like what? They can already buy gold pieces for cakes, gold that you can drink and even gold you can spray onto food. What else could we possibly think of ?”

Executive 1: “I’ve got it! Let’s make something that turns your poop into gold”

And so the idea was born…

Just in case anybody is interested in buying some of these Gold Pills, you can find them on the website here…you filthy pervert!