PONDICHERRY, INDIA — S. Durairaj is by all accounts a modern man. He drives a car, uses a cellphone and keeps up with international news. In his spare time, he studies for a law degree. He intends to pursue a career as a lawyer.

A few years ago, though, when Mr. Durairaj (who works part time for me as a driver) found out his sister was planning to marry a member of a different caste, he and his parents cut off all ties with her. She now lives in a separate home with her husband and two children. The children hardly know their maternal grandparents.

Distance often breeds greater understanding. I’ve spent some time away from home recently, in the United States, and it has made me reflect on the changes that have occurred in India over the last couple decades.

In many ways, India has become more like the United States — more outgoing, more optimistic, more self-confident and overtly ambitious.