Semen-filled prehistoric MGTOWs doing some manly man stuff

By David Futrelle

Be still my heart! I’ve discovered a man who is, simultaneously, 1) a Redditor, 2) a MGTOW, 3) a NoFap dude with weird theories about semen who 4) literally wants to go out and hunt mammoths.

It’s a We Hunted the Mammoth Trifecta, except with four things. A Fourfecta. (There’s probably a real word for that but I’m too exited to look it up.)

Anyway, so our boy DiceRollah recently paid a visit to the SemenRetention subreddit — an especially hardcore alternative to the anti-maturbation NoFap subreddit — and, sounding a bit like General Jack D. Ripper from Dr. Strangelove, shared his theories about men and their precious bodily fluids.

“Women really do drain your life force,” he began.

I’m MGTOW, but don’t let that turn you off.

Too late, buddy! You already have!

From my perspective, giving women our essence is one more way of many that they drain us. Literally.

Well, ok, but this particular process is at least more pleasurable than having one’s blood drained, either at the doctor’s office or via the more traditional succubus/vampire methodology.

Yet we go right on seeking them out. We may as well go to the club and say “hey baby, how about i allow you to take away my energy and motivation just so i can get laid?”

Worst pickup line ever.

It occured to me lately that regular sex is of course the same as jerking off from a physiological standpoint, and it leaves you just as uninspired and dead inside as habitual jerking off.

Uh, speak for yourself, dude.

I think this may be, from an evolutionary standpoint, nature’s way of making us placid and want to sit at home with that woman, our brains softened by the fucking, and protect her instead of being out there doing fantastic works of cave art or slaying woolly mammoths, which would thus attract possible rival females. My thoughts, anyway.

Huh. Maybe I should change the name of the blog to We Would Have Hunted the Mammoth if You Harpies Hasn’t Stolen Our Magic Sperm.

But I don’t think I will. Because it seems to me that DiceRollah’s theory has already been proven false. I mean, sure, we can’t test if semen-retaining dudes would be more inspired to hunt mammoths, what with the mammoths being extinct and all. But that thing about “doing fantastic works of … art?”

I did a search for “art” in the SemenRetention and NoFap subreddits. I found none in the former and, well, here are some examples of what I found in the latter:

I mean, sure, the Tupac drawing is at least recognizably Tupac. As for the rest, hey, if drawing or painting makes you happy, go ahead and do it. You’re not obligated to be a genius.

But it would be a bit of a stretch to call any of these works of art “fantastic.” So I think I can say that DiceRollah’s theory has been pretty clearly debunked. Which is good news for everyone who enjoys draining themselves, or being drained.

(Note: Whenever manosphere dudes talk about men and women generally, they are almost always referring only to cis men and women; that’s the case here.)

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