Here’s where I went wrong.

My first thought and action upon waking up wasn’t one of positivity and gratitude. My first thought was “damn, I’m exhausted.” which is an internally focused ego statement. I was focused on my “ME” statements and not my “WHY” statements. All of a sudden my own choice to wake up at 4:30 and prepare for work turned the future me into a victim of my own doing.

It is easy to think to yourself, “I am going to live a life of gratitude, hard work, and separation from my ego” when you have just finished reading Eckhart Tolle for two hours. It is much harder to carry those ideas into a dark, cold tuesday morning. Waking up and deciding which “you” is going to start the day off is a first come first serve system. Whichever version of yourself pops up and mans the helm initially is who will also be leading you into battle. Be careful, the longer that your wheel goes unmanned the longer of a chance that an unwanted characteristic could start you off. That’s what happened to me. My ship was up and moving far before my mind knew what to think about it and somehow the asshole complainer version of myself found itself in charge of this bag of meat and bones. The next thing I knew I was complaining to people I have no right complaining to, slacking on my workout because I am “tired” and making excuses for my lack of energy. Placing blame upon a diet that I am willfully doing. My dominoes were falling, just in the wrong direction. I had to do something and turn this day around otherwise I risked unravelling months of work. Potentially going back on all the time I have spent trying to improve my mind, body, and spirit. Seconds from massive hypocrisy.

Alas, I was able to turn things around. Not by chance nor good luck, but through truly useful mental techniques. I salvaged my day and went on to recenter my soul before tackling my next important task. My temperament improved, my laziness subsided, my excuses became stories, and my mind relaxed.

Here’s how I rallied my troops and found success in the second half.

Awareness of your downfall.

The first thing I was able to do was recognize my own shortcomings and be honest with myself. I capitalized on a brief moment of mindfulness and quickly assessed how I had been handling the last few hours. I had let my victim Ego mind operate on autopilot and things were reverting back to their old ways. I was becoming the soul sucking unhappiness I preach against. Through drawing awareness to the situation and reality of your actions you can begin to slow down that train. A complete change of captains on the deck won’t happen instantaneously, but you can pull back on the throttle simply through calling yourself out.

Your ego wants to operate without you knowing what is going on. Like a sneaky employee it will always tell you, “yeah, everything's going great!” when in reality the moment you step foot in the building you find a soiled rug and a trash can fire.

Just like you wouldn’t let an unruly employee roam free, you can’t let your ego’s wrongdoings go unnoticed. Bring light to them, recognize what is happening, understand how you feel about it. This isn’t the time for action, we aren’t there yet. This is simply a time for recognition and awareness. If your ego’s actions make you feel angry, then be angry. Allow the angriness to burn. You will notice that simply recognizing the emotions inside of you and reflecting upon your actions will allow a space to grow between you and your conscious mind. Realizing that these are just a few things you are doing, not who you are.

Things happen, we aren’t all mother teresa. Awareness of when you are reverting to a less than optimal state is the only way to stop the progression in it’s tracks. Allow your emotions to flow, but take note of what is happening. Let the trash can fire burn, but recognize how it started.

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Righting the wrongs. This is the part where you take action.

Once I knew that things were slipping because of my own thoughts, actions, and temperament it was time to actually right the situation. Through awareness we slowed the ship, now we must put a new captain on the deck. There are many ways of doing this, here are two of my favorites.

Family meeting. NOW!

You currently are sitting in a pivotal position. You have drawn space into your world which has forced your ego to back off. This space has given your true self room to breathe and attempt to assume control.

Right now your fear wolf and courage wolf are squaring off. Fighting; imminent.

Step 1. Let them fight. You have an Ego, it is inevitable. You absolutely need one to survive in the modern day and you can’t do away with it. However; when it isn’t held within reason and balanced with your true self things begin to spiral and you lose balance in your thoughts and actions, becoming singular of mind. Allowing your true self to show it’s teeth, allowing your courage wolf to show it’s courage, is a very effective way of breaking down the Ego’s command.

ARGUE WITH YOURSELF. You have voices in your head, use them. Ask yourself, “What the hell are you doing?!” and “What has gotten into you?!”. Allow your ego to answer. Nine times out of ten when you hear yourself provide true answers to these questions you will immediately recognize the triviality and pointlessness of your reasoning. You just need to hear it while not wrapped up in your emotions. For me this came on an exercise bike during the High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) portion of my workout.

Coupling this technique of self arguing with an extreme physical burden increases your ability to recluse into your mind and work things out. If you felt anger and frustration for your actions, resentment towards your reversion, you are now free to push yourself through exercise while simultaneously giving your ego the tough love scolding that it needs.

If your ego is a 300 pound lineman this is the time where you aim for the knees and chop block that bitch. Don’t worry, you can hug it out and get back on common ground after the game.

If you have the opportunity you should capitalize on showing your struggle through physical action while taking mental action. Remember your mind, body, and spirit are one.

Remind yourself why you are here.

I momentarily touched on “Me” and “Why” statements earlier. A me statement is one that is self focused. Through self I mean Ego. Through Ego I mean bad. A me statement is a bad statement or thought that provides no benefit yet feels good to us because it reaffirms our innate need to rationalize that victim role.

A me statement is something like, “I am so tired right now” and “Today has been so hard, I wish people would back off” etc. These statements provide no real value or solutions to your situation, they only highlight the factors that is allowing the growth of ego.

A why statement is something that reminds you of why you are doing what you are doing. It reminds you of your gratitude. A why statement usually follows a Me statement in an attempt to correct negative self talk, but with enough practice it can become the initial reaction not just the “Oops, I meant…” thought.

A why statement sounds like, “I am glad to have this opportunity to improve myself.” or it could be simpler, “I am so happy about this cup of coffee right now.” It can be anything placed in a positive light.

You cannot fight negativity, that only brings attention to it. You can only increase positivity.

A more powerful why statement can be used in times of extreme distress when you need to tap into that spiritual and deeply personal energy for the power to overcome adversity. For me that also came on the HIIT bike. My body, physically, was giving out. If I was to allow my ego thinking mind to make my decisions I probably would have cut short because all logic would be on my side. But through having a family meeting like in the last step and asking myself why I am even on my bike in the first place I was able to tap into my primal motivation. I found energy in my ultimate goal. I reminded myself that this is not just a physical feat, but an emotional and spiritual journey that I am on and cutting short would deny me of any chance I would ever have to prove myself in this current moment. I spent so much time inwardly thinking I completely seperated myself from the pain in my legs and conquered the cardio session with more intensity and speed than ever before. The best part being that it was over before I knew it. I wasn’t paying attention to the clock, I was too busy arguing with myself.

Remember that you are doing what you are doing for a reason. This all began one way or another. If your intentions are true, remind yourself of them.

Grand plans will always outweigh temporary discomfort.

It’s ok to get off to a rough start. But never give up. Always try to take control of your ship. Whether there is one hour or twenty left in the day, you cannot let your Ego go unnoticed.

Fixing today is the only way you can conquer tomorrow.

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