Maybe what drove him mad was years and years of trying to make a living in malls while little kids kicked him to see if he was real. This also would explain his ability to seem to walk while somehow staying in the same place.

I happen to know Jamie Lee Curtis, who plays Laurie, is one of the smartest people in Hollywood. I cannot wait for the chapter on horror movies in her autobiography.

There is a scene in the movie where a kid drops a corkscrew down a garbage disposal. Then the camera goes inside the garbage disposal to watch while he fishes around for it. Then the camera cuts to the electric switch on the wall, which would turn the disposal on. I am thinking, if this kid doesn't lose his hand, I want my money back.

Michael Myers may also have skills as an electrician. All of the lights and appliances in every structure in this movie go on or off whenever the plot requires them to. I can imagine Myers down in the basement by the fuse box, thinking, “Gotta slash somebody. But first--geez, whoever filled in the chart on the inside of this fuse box had lousy handwriting! I can't tell the garage door from the garbage disposal!” I think Jamie Lee Curtis shouts “Do as I say!” twice in the movie. I could be low by one.

Yes, the movie contains the line “They never found a body.” Michael Myers, described in the credits as “The Shape,” is played by Chris Durand. There is hope. Steve McQueen started his career in (but not as) “The Blob.” Half of the movie takes place in an exclusive private school, yet there is not a single shower scene.

Speaking of shower scenes: Janet Leigh, Jamie Lee's mother, turns up in a cameo role here, and she started me thinking about what a rotten crock it is that they're remaking “Psycho.” I imagined Miss Leigh telling her friends, “They wanted me to do a cameo in the remake of `Psycho,' but I said, hell, I'd do `Halloween: H20' before I'd lower myself to that.”