As usual, I take ten million years to finish something that I start — like watching the Star Wars franchise. A bit of background: I’m going to watch for the first time and finish up all the Star Wars movies, hopefully before seventh one comes out this December or before I die.

Did I think A New Hope was nonsensical? Yes. Was it every bit cheesy? Totally. But did I enjoy it? Very much so.

Which makes me even more excited about The Empire Strikes Back because how much more nonsensical can it get right? I’m assuming a lot more.

As usual I think my eyes kinda glazed over but I think I got the gist of it. The Death Star had much potential etc etc. But circumstances etc etc.

So where did Vader go after his loss in A New Hope to regroup? Where is the Galactic Empire’s HQ now that the Death Star’s gone? How does their military budget look like? Just how oppressive is this regime? I have all these pressing questions and no answers.

This war is a fuckin’ mess.

Binoculars upgraded to Mini Projector. Well done, technology.

………………………………………. what do you even see

Did they just land on this ice planet or what?

JESUS.

This dude just has the worst luck. First he gets smacked down by one of the Sandpeople (in A New Hope) while looking through the binoculars, then this time by this ridiculous creature that looks like a cross between a polar bear and a snapping turtle. Moral of the story: STOP USING UR FUCKIN BINOCULARS AND SEE WHAT’S IN FRONT OF YOU INSTEAD. LAWD.

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