Local man, Nick Boynton, age 22, is something of a national hero. No matter how self-conscious you are about your boobs, whether you think they are too small or too big, Boynton promises he will still enjoy them.

“I don’t care if your nipples are the size of a soft ball or the tip of a pen,” Boynton says. “If you show me them, I will still be absolutely aroused.”

To test Boynton’s claims, we showed him a series of unique boob pics during our interview. Boynton was visibly breathing heavy and licking his lips while viewing every picture without fail.

“I’ll enjoy a woman’s breasts whether she be 99 or… well, I guess 18.”

Thankfully, Boynton was sitting during our boob slideshow and even elected to remain sitting up to an hour and half after the slideshow had concluded.