Last night Mad Max: Fury Road steamrolled Star Wars: The Force Awakens at the Oscars in a total of three categories. But according to Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy, the only award George Miller’s film should have been up for was the Whitest White Action Film for Whiter-Than-White People. Keep reading to learn why Kennedy believes Mad Max is guilty of whitewashing the Outback and stealing what rightfully belongs to her. “What a lilly white day!”

It appears the #OscarSoWhite hashtag campaign has failed Star Wars fans the world over as Mad Max bested The Force Awakens in Film Editing, Sound Editing, and Sound Mixing at the Oscars last night. Many voices immediately took to social media to express disappointment in the Academy. The general consensus: Even technical awards should reflect diversity.

For the record, George Miller’s post-apocalyptic reboot-quel production featured a predominantly white cast and crew. Meanwhile, The Force Awakens went out of its way to promote gender equality, diversity, bromance, sexual ambiguity, and alien rights both.

Needless to say, the House of Mouse is not taking last night’s defeat lightly. Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy provided FSW with an exclusive e-mail interview this morning, and let’s just say Kat’s claws came out.

I watched Fury Road, and let me tell you, the strong heroine in the film was a smokescreen, pardon the expression. Miller wanted liberals and feminists to focus on gender rather than the obvious whitewashing of the Outback. The Force Awakens had a black Brit, Admiral Ackbar, and an Oscar-winning African named Lupita for Christ’s sake! We had diversity and strong females. Where’s our statue? Where’s our 40 acres?!

We asked Kennedy to elaborate on this supposed whitewhashing:

Listen, not only did Miller cast all white leads, the villains were even more offensive — they weren’t just white… they were coated head to toe in talcum powder to make them extra white. A literal whitewash. It’s a slap in the face to the audience. I’ve been to Australia. I’ve done my time in the Bush. Tell me: Where were the aborigines? That is not a reflection of what the world looks like, and if I’m wrong, then stop the bus God because I want off this ride. The Oscar is gold, but it should really be lilly white… and Mad Max’s statues should have white flour thrown on top for good measure. Maybe add a few hoods too.

Kennedy’s remarks are sure to ruffle some feathers throughout Hollywood. Do you agree with her — was The Force Awakens the more diverse film in terms of sound editing, sound mixing, and film editing? Is Fury Road a film strictly for whites by whites? Let us know in the comments section or on our new messageboards!

As always, stay tuned to FakingStarWars for the latest made up news from a made up galaxy far, far away.

-William Bobo