CAMP VERDE, TX—Ambushed in broad daylight by a fanatical admirer, sources reported Monday that a local deer was shot by an obsessed fan. “All the evidence we’ve gathered thus far leads us to conclude that the suspect seemed fixated on the deer before ultimately taking its life,” said Sheriff Rick Lazaro, explaining that the shooter is believed to have stalked the whitetail deer for several hours before the killing, even loitering around its favorite salt lick since sunrise. “From what we can tell, it appears that the deer was enjoying a walk in the woods and took a step out into the glade where the fan was waiting with his rifle. He didn’t even say a word.” At press time, police suspected the killer had a murderous infatuation with the entire species as evidenced by the heads of several other deer found stuffed and mounted on the man’s wall.

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