GoAUpher: HATE WEEK!

I'll have to admit that a Badger fan accomplice of mine gave me the motivation to write this, thanks to his tweet from yesterdays BADger curbstomping of Indiana:

https://twitter.com/jake_severson/status/401773502266494976

So, yes. Thanks @jake_severson for the fuel. #BetterDeadThanRed

First, let me start off by giving you a quick rundown of my history. I was born and raised in Minnesota until 7th grade. From 7th grade through my high school career, I lived in a Wisconsin town called Superior. Just across the border/St. Louis Bay from Duluth. Every one of my high school friends like like and follow college football are BADger fans. Later in life, I married a Wisconsin girl, who's family just so happens to be big Becky fans (good news, though, my wife is a convert to Gopher fandom). My best friend from junior high and the first friend I ever made in Superior became a Wisconsin Badger cheerleader.

My point in giving my history is I have a lot of it when it comes to dealing with Badger fans. And let me also say that all the Badger fans I know in person (friends/family) are not who I'm going to generalize following in this post.

That said BADger fans, lemmie 'splain why we Gopher fans hate your guts:





1) Alvarez took your program to, and won, 3 Rose Bowls.

via davidaolson.files.wordpress.com

Well, that isn't really why we hate you so much. I mean, it certainly added a nice little foundational layer. But don't be fooled into thinking that we hate you because of envy alone. No, we hate you because of those 3 Rose Bowl victories, your fanbase's collective egos exploded to Ohio State or Michigan levels. Hey, don't get me wrong, OSU and Michigan fans have that right to big egos, their teams have been historically dominant. And note when I say historically, I mean prior to 1994. I know it comes as a surprise to many of you, college football did in fact start long before Barry took your program to Pasadena. The HATE is strong with us because of those 3 no doubt great victories in the '94, '99' and '00 Rose Bowls for your program, your fanbase collective egos grew exponentially.

2) Classiest fans, EVER. /sarcasm

via s3-ec.buzzfed.com

In 2004, I went to the Gopher/Badger match up in Madison. Was honestly a great and fun experience as my first away game I've ever attended (and first outdoor football game I've ever attended as well). But walking down State Street and into Camp Randall wasn't a picnick. Being called an 'ASSSSSSHOLLEE!' by 40,000 drunk BADger fans as we made our way down to our seats certainly left a lasting image. Again, I have to be honest, I loved the heat I was getting. I felt like Hulk Hogan when he dropped the leg on Macho Man to join the Outsiders and help form the most nefarious heel stable in pro wrestling history (that's NWO for you non-wrasstling rubes). But I promise you, not all the Gopher fans in our group enjoyed the razzing. And wouldn't ya know it, most Gopher fans outside our group don't find it enjoyable either. Funny, I tell many Badger fans "Better Dead Than Red" and they don't understand or get why. Hell, you even managed to isolate the consensus 'Classiest Fans in the World' in Nebraska fans. Nice job, Wisky.

3) The 'Streak'

via www.rantsports.com

Yes. It's silly and reeks of envy. But the current win streak your stupid program has over the Gophers is another huge reason why we HATE so hard. It's pretty simple. Seeing your team march around whatever stadium it was that year with the Ax in hand and your stupid, ignorant, tasteless, arrogant fans cheer grates on ALL of our nerves. Team this up with the other 2 reasons, and you have a very nice recipe of HATE.

SKI U MAH!! BETTER DEAD THAN RED!!!

NOTE: Again, these reasons are directed towards the generalized Badger fans I have come across, to those BADger fans that I know personally, you really don't fall into these categories, except your stupid fandom sucks and I hate it.