Poor Leonardo DiCaprio.

The serial modelizer and frequently man-bunned Hollywood playa was forced to rip himself from the babe-infested parties at the Cannes Film Festival last week to fly, via private jet, from France to New York City — where he accepted an environmental award.

Holy Gulfstream Hypocrisy!

Mr. Global Warming expanded his carbon footprint by some 8,000 miles in about 24 hours.

After slumming it quickly in the United States, he then hopped aboard a private plane for a ride from the Riverkeeper Fishermen’s Ball in Manhattan back to the welcoming bosoms of high-heeled catwalkers at the glitzy amfAR gala in Cannes.

We can only hope his heavy breathing didn’t poke a new hole in the ozone layer.

Leo, 41, burned off his Oscar acceptance speech this year (for Best Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role in 2015’s “The Revenant’’), obnoxiously lecturing gas-guzzling film-industry types and bewildered TV viewers worldwide: “Climate change is real. It is happening right now. It is the most urgent threat facing our species.’’

The actor and film producer is known to float aboard palatial yachts, expending more fossil fuel in days than I, a subway rider, do in a year — and I harbor doubts that human-caused climate change even exists.

In Leo’s defense, a source close to the megapolluter told The Post’s Page Six that he didn’t charter any flights, but hitched rides with “someone’’ already flying back and forth between France and New York.

Will Leo ever stay home (how about in an energy-efficient apartment, such as mine?), switch off the air conditioning and subsist on average-looking women and raw kale?

Unlikely.

Here, in no particular order, is an incomplete list of warming hypocrites and do-gooders, which might be redundant:

Mark Ruffalo — “But it’s my kids, man,” Ruffalo, 48, said. “I look at my kids, and the thought [of] mass extinction, and I see the change that’s happening with the trees . . .” The guy who was nominated for an Oscar for his supporting role in 2015’s overrated “Spotlight’’ (but lost), and plays The Hulk/Dr. Bruce Banner in fuel-munching “The Avengers’’ movies, is perhaps the loudest whiner in a celeb-choked pack of environmental zealots — Sean Penn! Robert Redford! The fracking opponent vowed in 2014 to dump his investments in companies he says cause climate change — in three to five years. What’s the hurry?

President Obama — The Golf-Nut-in-Chief, 54, called reducing greenhouse gases a “powerful rebuke’’ to ISIS (or, as he calls the terror-mongering group, ISIL) before flying aboard Air Force One to the United Nations climate summit outside Paris last year, joining many jet-setting representatives from 195 countries who agreed to lower emissions. According to the most recent estimates, it costs more than $200,000 for an hour of Air Force One flight time. Some or most of that is borne by taxpayers, including to pay for the first family’s vacation jaunts to Hawaii and the prez’s 2013 taping of “The Tonight Show with Jay Leno’’ in California. The France trip alone was estimated to leave nearly 100 tons of carbon dioxide emissions in the atmosphere. After his presidency ends on Jan. 20, 2017, Obama is set to move with his family from the White House into a Washington, DC, leased mansion that measures 8,200 square feet and boasts nine bedrooms and 8½ bathrooms, Politico reports. I hope the Obamas remember to switch off the lights when changing rooms.

Fifty shades of mind control. School board members in Portland, Ore., last week voted unanimously to ban from classrooms books and materials that cast doubt on the existence of climate change. A Los Angeles Times editor banned publishing the views of climate-change “deniers’’ in the newspaper’s Letters to the Editor section, outdoing even warming hysterics at the New York Times.

Pope Francis — I’m not one to criticize the rock-star leader of the world’s estimated 1.2 billion Roman Catholics. Suffice it to say that the pontiff, 79, has eclipsed the Bozo of Ozone, former US Vice President Al Gore, 68, as the world’s go-to alarmist, penning a breathtakingly anti-capitalist encyclical last year that blames “the myth of progress’’ for global warming. It seems to me that progress greatly helps the plight of the poor. If only the good pope, who has urged the acceptance of homosexuals, divorcees and women who express regret for having undergone abortions, would butt out of this.

Leonardo DiCaprio is in good company.

GOP presidential nominee, Donald Trump is another global warming flip-flopper

It’s try-ing times for Cos at last

Comedy legend Bill Cosby, 78, is to stand trial for allegedly sexually attacking Andrea Constand in 2004, a Pennsylvania judge ruled Tuesday. Good! May light shine on Constand’s allegation that Cos plied her with wine and pills before taking advantage of her helpless body.

Cosby maintains he gave her only 1½ over-the-counter Benadryl tablets, and any sex was consensual.

Since Constand came forward, about 60 women have piled on, claiming that Cosby sexually assaulted them, or tried to, dating as far back as the 1960s. I’ve long believed that the married erstwhile star is a degenerate cheater, not a rapist.

Maybe soon we’ll learn the truth.

Madge inflicts purple pain

Pop twit Madonna, 57, defended her croaking musical tribute to Prince, with Stevie Wonder, at Sunday’s Billboard Music Awards show — with an Instagram photo of herself and a pocketbook emblazoned with the word “DEALER.’’

She made the drug-selling reference amid reports that opioid medication was found in the Purple One’s Minnesota house after his demise.

The good news is that Her Madgesty showed up in a ghastly purple getup — but was fully clothed for once. When is someone in authority going to face the fact that Madonna has no talent, no fashion sense — and she isn’t nice?

Hizzoner is toast

Maybe it’s time to stick a fork in Mayor Bill de Blasio. He’s done. A new poll shows a majority of city voters — 52 percent — don’t approve of the job he’s doing, while just 41 percent do. By a bigger margin, 55 to 21 percent, voters think he does favors for his political donors. Chin up, Mayor, you could try selling Kirby vacuum cleaners door-to-door — they’re dependable.