As a youth in Minnesota, I was a sometimes-participant in a playground game called "Duck, Duck, Gray Duck." In it, a group of child humans would sit in a circle while another circled round them, tapping his peers upon the head, pronouncing them various colors of duck (i.e. "purple duck, blue duck, orange duck," etc.) before choosing his prey, whom he'd tap on the head before yelling, "GRAY DUCK!" This child would then jump up and attempt to tag the caller before he ran fully around the circle and took the seat where The Gray Duck had been seated. If she didn't, she was "it," the new caller.

Playing it in our home state, most of us had no idea how very alone we were in our version of this simple, stressful game. But many of us would grow up, and leave home, even if just temporarily, and it's there (the Non-Minnesota areas) we'd happen upon a startling discovery. If this is the first time you're hearing about it, I'm sorry.

The entire rest of the country is playing this game wrong.

They are playing some abomination version called "Duck, Duck, Goose."