Now that Parts Unknown has wrapped, Twitter is the best day-to-day source for Anthony Bourdainisms. He posts frequent updates on his rambling life, like when he’s having “glorious” reflexology in Singapore (“to be followed by soup dumplings”), and hilarious mealtimes, like “Breakfast: coffee, lipitor and my last Congolese painkiller.” We admittedly get wrapped up in the fun of following Tony through Jiu-Jitsu lessons at the hands of his “delicate flower” wife, forgetting that the loudmouthed chef/author/CNN food gypsy not only has over a decade of pen-pushing under his belt, but that he’s something of a social commenter.

Bourdain’s travels haven’t just left him with a healthy hate for American Airlines, a loaded passport, and frequent flyer miles for life – oh, and five Emmy nominations – they’ve given him a pretty sturdy worldview which he uses to reflect right back on the great U.S. of A. When someone’s slaughtered chickens in the Congo or dared eat Durian, well, anywhere, we trust him on the few things he simply cannot abide: Paula Deen, for one, and dads screwing up steak.

In the gallery below, see nine of the best Bourdain on America quotes, and try not to take them personally. He’s seen and tasted more than enough to warrant calling our country on its shit.

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