This will be a bit of a strange post, I promise.

I take ballet classes irregularly on Monday evenings. I’ve been going, on and off, for 16 months now and though I’m getting better, I’m never where I want to be or where I feel I should be and I rarely notice any distinct improvements. I am well aware that if I went to class every week my technique would be much better, the basics would be more ingrained and I would feel far more confident whilst being aware that I will never be in a position where I know everything.

The parallels with my first 2 years of being a Catholic are uncanny! Though I went to Mass most Sundays, I was not fully committed. I rarely prayed during the week and when I did I was nervous about “getting it wrong,” “overdoing it” or was listening to the voice in the back of my head saying “it won’t make a difference anyway.”

One of the things I enjoy doing in my spare time is watching the dancers I love! Going to see a ballet (either live or live-streamed) or curling up to watch my copy of La Bayadere or a borrowed copy of Alice In Wonderland from my dear friend Giulia. To see great talents show you just how powerful those basic poses and moves can be is a real treat. Every time I notice aspects of ballet that I have tried (and often failed to get right) and then see them done comfortably by artists that have worked at their craft and have been taught well in great institutions. They inspire me to try harder rather than make me feel inadequate because I will never reach their standards.or take on that role.

During Holy Week I attended Prayers and Tenebrae alongside Mass each day that I could manage. I had not heard the Diving Office before but the singing moved me. At the Priory Church I attend, we are blessed with a number of good, strong singers and hearing prayers like Oratio Jeremiae being sung inspired me to experience more of the Divine Office and even join in if I could. Singing the Divine Office with the Dominican Friars is now one of my favourite forms of prayer and Lauds & Vespers (and Compline on Sundays) have become focal points around which my day is shaped.

One thing I am yet to do is to arrange a private ballet lesson with an experienced teacher to strengthen my technique and to fix any bad habits that I have developed.

I have, however, discussed my prayer life with priests and the results of those discussions have had a great impact on my development as a Catholic and an adult. Whether you seek a spiritual director, priest or simply a practising Catholic that you can trust, such discussions are, I think, vital to keeping us on a solid path towards God.

I greatly enjoy both being a Catholic and recreational Ballet dancer. Both have strengthened me in ways I never knew I was capable of and, as I mentioned earlier, I will never “know everything” in either area of my life. Whether I am singing Salve Regina under my breath as I walk into town or pointing my toes under the desk at work, I am constantly trying to progress in all areas of my life at all times and though sometimes I experience discomfort with the way things are going, if I keep trying, I can only ever move forwards.