I Realized That I Was Going to Die

25I-NBOMe

Citation: Banjo. "I Realized That I Was Going to Die: An Experience with 25I-NBOMe (exp99675)". Erowid.org . May 9, 2013. erowid.org/exp/99675

DOSE:

28 mg insufflated 25I-NBOMe (powder / crystals)

BODY WEIGHT: 155 lb

[Erowid Note: The dose described in this report is very high, potentially beyond Erowid's 'heavy' range, and could pose serious health risks or result in unwanted, extreme effects. Sometimes extremely high doses reported are errors rather than actual doses used.]

Let me start this report by saying that you should never, under any circumstances, take 28mg or anything close to 28mg of 25i-NBOMe. Fatal overdoses have been reported with several times less, and although other drugs or allergic reactions may or may not have been involved in those cases, 25i-NBOMe is a potentially dangerous drug if used in excess. 28mg is excess. Very little is known about this drug, and while I am able to enjoy it today in safe doses, it should not be taken lightly. This trip was not intentional.A few years back I had a bit of a opiate habit that had been eating away at my wallet. My drug of choice was hydromorphone and my preferred ROA was IV. Hydromorphone is hard to come by in my area and prices are quite high for it, so I started experimenting with other opiates whenever they were cheaper. I had experimented with Hydrocodone, Diamorphine, Tramadol, Fentanyl, and Codeine briefly, and my dealer told me one day that he had some Oxycontin. Having never tried this, I purchased just under 30mg from him. He told me the pills had gotten crushed and had lost a little weight, which was no problem to me since he offered it to me at a very cheap price. The powder, which was very fine, was 28mg. It seemed odd that the pill had been uniformly crushed into a fine powder, but I didn't think too much of it.At the time, I had just run out of needles and I wasn't going to get any more until my next package came in the mail, so I asked about snorting it. The dealer said that it would work fine, so I went home and prepared two small lines, one for each nostril. Snorting the first line felt like I had been kicked by a mule in the brain, but being convinced that I'd be in an opiate-induced state of euphoria and warmth in just a few moments, I snorted the other line, experiencing the same level of agony as the first. Within two minutes I started to notice euphoria, a rush of energy, and mild hallucinations, similar to taking a few tabs of LSD. My vision began to pulse in a strobe-like fashion, shifting and floating around. I could feel the energy of every object around me and I knew the location of everything in the room without even looking around. The doorknob particularly fascinated me. It had turned into a spring like shape and expanded and contracted across the room, creating a heavenly ringing sound as it did so. My hookah, which was not packed or lit at the time, appeared to have smoke pouring out of the hose. The smoke approached my face slowly, and once it hit me, it exploded into light. I believe this was due to the hookah sitting under the light in my apartment. The smoke may have been a warped hallucination of the light, but I am not sure. These hallucinations all greatly excited me; as a fairly inexperienced drug user, I had no idea that an opiate could make you trip.After another two minutes, I realized that what I had taken was not an opiate. My heart was pounding, and I was starting to sweat. My body started to jerk slightly at various points every few seconds. Worried that I was having a bad trip, my first priority was to take a Xanax or two and then make it to my bed to lay down. Neither of these goals were accomplished. Upon standing up from the couch where I had snorted the 'Oxycontin,' I became dizzy and closed my eyes for a second. This is where the trip got really crazy. I have never in my entire life experienced close-eye visuals as intense as that moment. Fractal patterns easily surpassing the ones from DMT flew past the inside of my eyelids. As the visuals moved towards and over me, I could feel wind blowing over my entire body. The wind turned into vibrations, which turned into music. I'd experienced auditory hallucinations on 25 hits of LSD IV'd before (I do not recommend this unless you are positive that you are physically and mentally ready for it), but only I had only noticed fleeting, ambient sounds. These, however, were full blown songs. Multiple instruments playing, lyrics being sung by sirens in languages from other dimensions, polyrythms, choruses, verses, everything. It was incredible. I saw colors that do not exist outline my own mind and thoughts in the form of molecular structures and hieroglyphics. I lost all sense of smell and emotion, and I remained still for what felt literally like years. I stood there and existed. I was no longer human, I was time and energy.The next thing I knew, I was on the floor, rolling around and moving uncontrollably. At first I thought I was laughing, but I quickly realized that I was in a seizure. Brief terror set in as I realized that I was going to die. I tried to close my eyes, deciding to try to enjoy my final moments as best as possible. I couldn't feel my body and I couldn't tell if I was breathing or not. I began to think of all the mistakes I had made in my life, but I somehow was able to remind myself that thinking about negative things is an easy way to trigger a bad trip (aside from the seizure and potential death, the trip was quite enjoyable, even mid-seizure), and I guess somehow subconsciously my brain decided that if I was going to die, I'd at least die having somewhat of a good time. I think about this part of the trip the most, as it sticks out to me more than anything else. I had accepted that I was about to die (or at least I thought, as I wasn't entirely sure what drug I had taken) and I still was able to stay calm and focus on positive things. I always assumed that overdosing on a psychedelic would be a sure-fire way to experience a bad trip, but the euphoria I was experiencing even in that moment overwhelmed any brief spurts of fear or anxiety. I thought about my childhood friend, who will be referred to with a fake name as Mila to maintain anonymity, who I had always been close to, and hoped that she would handle the news of my death well.Two weeks later, although it felt like no time had passed at all, I awoke in the hospital in the ICU. I remember seeing Mila, and I remember asking her how she had died as well. I did not realize I was in the hospital and thought we had both ended up in some sort of spiritual limbo. I do not remember what she said to me. I, according to Mila, fell asleep mid-sentence.Mila and my nurses stated that I awoke three more times, none of which I remember, and said that I had woken up for a few seconds before the first time I remember waking up as well.The next memory I have was of my catheter being taken out. I did not feel it at all, which seemed strange, until the nurse explained that I was heavily sedated. She explained that I had been placed in a medically-induced coma. This sounded good to me, and I went back to sleep without asking any questions.My memory is fairly foggy after that, which seems odd since my next memories came a fair bit after coming out of a coma, but my first few memories were closer to the coma and seemed clearer. Over the course of a few days, it was explained to me that Mila had come over to my house to see if I was home and heard signs of a struggle inside. Mila has a key to my house, and when she came in, she immediately called an ambulance and provided CPR and rescue breathing while stabilizing my head until the paramedics arrived. I was almost immediately placed into a coma so my body could stabilize, and at one point I was not expected to come out of it. Thankfully I recovered almost fully. I have a small twitch in my neck, I heavily damaged my sense of smell, which is not expected to ever recover, and I suffered a concussion when I fell over. I went into cardiac arrest, suffered minor brain damage, and suffered from short term memory loss for several months while I recovered both in and eventually outside of the hospital. I experience very minor but consistent symptoms of HPPD to this day, well over a year later. My doctors are unsure if it will go away within the foreseeable future, but I do not mind it.After hearing that I had been hospitalized, the dealer contacted Mila and told her what substance I had taken. This information helped the doctors and could have saved my life. Some time after hearing that I had been placed in a coma, the dealer who sold me the 25i-NBOMe as Oxycontin turned himself in to the police. He is on parole now and has stopped both dealing and using drugs. He offered to pay all of my medical bills, won't let me pay for dinner, and despite who he used to be, he is now the most selfless, kind, thoughtful human being that I have ever known. I have accepted his apologies, I hold no grudges against him, and we are close friends. He has asked me to be the best man at his wedding this winter. He has never forgiven himself for his actions, and he admitted that he did it just to offload the 25i-NBOMe since he had nobody interested in buying it. I hope that one day he will be ready to forgive himself and I will be there for him when he does. For anybody out there thinking of selling research chemicals or any substance as another drug, think twice. It may haunt you for the rest of your life even after others have forgiven you.I have done 25i-NBOMe in normal to high-ish doses since then, from 500ug to 6mg after waiting a year to try it again. I have had nothing but wonderful experiences and it is in my top three favorite drugs. I now prefer it even over LSD due to the energy boost it gives me.On an interesting side note, I had no interest in opiates after this trip. I had tried to stop using them before the trip with brief success, but relapse always occurred. I've tried them a few times, but they just aren't enjoyable to me. I definitely feel the effects, but the effects from opiates are no longer what I prefer. I enjoy psychedelics on a causal basis, but not much else. Not even cannabis, really. I do not recommend taking this substance in any level purely to quit another substance. Therapy, rehabilitation, and medical assistance from licensed physicians is the only method I recommend for quitting any drug.Be safe and have fun out there.