♫ …set to the music of “One Day More” from Les Miserables… ♫

JIMMY HASLAM

One day more!

Another day, another felony

Much less a franchise than a laund-ery

And though I’ve made a mint from crime

I still refuse to spend a dime

One day more!

HAL HUNTER (OFFENSIVE LINE COACH)

The blocking scheme has gone awry

It’s like the Red Sea has just parted.

HASLAM

One day more…

HAL HUNTER

Bitonio looks like he’s on skates

And once again Pasztor false started.

JOHNNY MANZIEL

One more day all on my own.

ANNOUNCERS

Will he ever play again?

PAUL MANZIEL

One more day with him not caring.

ANNOUNCERS

Doomed, alas, is poor old Hue.

JOE THOMAS

What a life I might have known.

ANNOUNCERS

If a good team had drafted you!

PAUL DePODESTA (looking at a list of UDFA’s)

There is so much value there.

JOSH GORDON

One more toke, and it’s my last.

NFL SECURITY

We will follow where he goes.

JOSH GORDON

And I swear I mean it this time.

NFL SECURITY

Cause you know he’s gonna relapse.

JOSH GORDON

When the season finally ends…

NFL SECURITY

There’s no way you’re gonna make it.

JOSH GORDON

I will blaze up, yes indeed!

HASLAM, SASHI BROWN, PAUL DePODESTA

The time is now, the day is here!

HASLAM

One day more!

HUE JACKSON

Got to stop this devolution

Pray that Griffin is no dud

Hope Josh Gordon and his homeboys

Don’t get busted with that bud.

HASLAM

One day more!

CYNICAL ADULT BROWNS FANS

Watch us run amuck

Hurling bottles down

Brimming with self loathing

Cause we hate this town!

Here’s another sack

There’s another pick

Every single game is like

A punch in the dick!

GUILELESS AND HOPEFUL YOUNG BROWNS FANS (2 groups)

(1) Now the curse is finally over…

(2) Raise the Cav’liers banner high!

(1) And we owe it to the King.

(2) And we owe it to the King.

(1) Call us crazy but we’re hopeful…

(2) There’s a division to be won.

(ALL) Maybe the Browns can win a ring!

RGIII

My place is here, I play with you!

HASLAM

One day more.

RGIII and JOSH GORDON (overlapping)

We didn’t practice ’till today.

JOHNNY MANZIEL (overlapping)

One more day all on my own.

RGIII and JOSH GORDON (overlapping)

We’re run no routes together at all.

HUE JACKSON (overlapping)

I will mold this group of misfits

Into men who can be proud

Sure we’ll be last in the standings

But at least our fans are loud.

HASLAM

One day more.

RGIII and JOSH GORDON (overlapping)

Tomorrow we will take the field…

JOE THOMAS (overlapping)

What a life I might have known.

RGIII and JOSH GORDON (overlapping)

And see if we can still play football.

HUE JACKSON (overlapping)

Got to stop this devolution

Pray that Griffin is no dud

Hope Josh Gordon and his homeboys

Don’t get busted with that bud.

CLEVELAND FANS (overlapping)

Watch us run amuck

Hurling bottles down

Brimming with self loathing

Cause we hate this town!

HASLAM

Tomorrow all will be revealed.

Tomorrow we will take the field.

ALL

Tomorrow we’ll discover

What the season has in store!

…

One more down…

One more day…

One day more!

Many thanks to WhyEaglesWhy for his contributions and also for spurring me on to get this finished.

Original “Les Miserables” image via The Big Lead.