This tribe’s idiosyncrasies provide colour to our daily greys of mundanity and prosaicness

It’s a fact not universally known, but once it is known it shall certainly be universally acknowledged, that ‘true-blue oddballs’ are rare on the ground. They are rarer than the Parsis, and their sightings are as uncommon as that some of the legislators of this country in their own respective constituencies, notwithstanding any promises made or implied during the election season.

One of the key reasons behind the rarity of the tribe is that the purest of eccentrics are actually completely and utterly unaware of their oddities. They may recognise eccentricity in others but they themselves are naively ignorant of their own traits. What further complicates this situation is that the moment they do start identifying themselves as an oddball they are not a true oddball anymore. Their charm chiefly lies in their obliviousness to their own uniqueness. Mind you, this is in no way a crass attempt to make light of any mental health issues. This is in fact an ‘Appreciative Inquiry’ into the world of oddballs around us whose idiosyncrasies provide colour to our daily greys of mundanity and prosaicness.

I have been fortunate enough to come in contact with such an individual and have come to genuinely cherish his antics. To begin with, it has to be said that he is completely benign and does not behave the way he does in order to draw any kind of attention to himself. He is fascinated by water bottles and repeatedly marvels at how the water stays chilled in it for so long. Another interesting trait that has emerged as a result of this fascinating observation has been his propensity to focus and fret about the most unexpected of problems. For instance, this person (let’s call him ‘A’) recently became quite upset about the fact that some people in the office are selectively just picking out peanuts from the ‘Haldiram’s Madrasi Namkeen Mixture’ and totally skewing the namkeen to peanuts ratio. He mumbled under his breath that people in the office have become too clever for their own good and what if someone questions him, ‘A’ that is, about this pilferage. Then he won’t have an option but to name names and expose these racketeers. Prima facie you and I might dismiss this as trivial, but one has to admit that the soul of the ‘Haldiram’s Madrasi Namkeen Mixture’ lies in the peanuts and this pilferage does take away the surprise crunch that accompanies every mouthful.

Another incident involving ‘A’ that has gained the status of an ‘urban legend’ and has been told and retold multiple times with several embellishments, involves him and a guest in the office and a grave semantic misunderstanding. While the guest asked for ‘water’, ‘A’ became quite offended for he was sure the cad was requesting for ‘quarter’ (250 ml of happiness) and told the unsuspecting person with utmost disdain that this is a place of work and we don’t offer ‘such things’. Legend says ‘A’ mumbled about it all day and rued at the low quality of people who the office keeps entertaining.

‘A’, I believe, also has an instinctive contempt for authority. On close observation, it emerges that he constantly tests the limits of office protocol and sees what he can or cannot get away with by not doing. For instance, new recruits are labelled as ‘to be ignored until further notice’. Whether an employee gets coffee or tea in the office does not depend upon the employee’s choice but on the whim of ‘A’.

As may have become apparent by now, ‘A’ is the office caretaker and a pretty good one at that. He is indispensable to the workplace. Unintentionally he is the source of comic relief on most days. But over a period of time, what has also become more obvious about him is his fierce sense of pride. ‘A’ is defiant. He does not question himself. Rather, every day he performs the most banal tasks in his own inimitable style. He laughs at what he finds funny and not necessarily at what amuses others. He takes care of his family. He fondly rues the fact and not without a little pride that his son has ‘VIP wishes’. By VIP wishes here he means fruits. ‘A’ makes sure that his son’s desire for a VIP fruit is fulfilled without fail on a daily basis.

It can be safely said that the world at large is not kind to oddballs. What doesn’t conform to our standards of ‘normal’ and our monoculture is often isolated or made the butt of our jokes. As if ‘normalcy’, or being like everyone else, is the ultimate human objective. Uniqueness is especially smothered when it emerges from a weaker section within the class hierarchy. We expect unquestioned

acquiescence from those below us on the class ladder being paid to provide us our basic services. They are to serve, not to be seen or heard. That’s why ‘A’ stands out more than most. Despite the odds stacked against him stridently trying to drown his individuality, this oddball continues to be himself every day. As a consequence, he has made sure that everyone around him accepts and likes him for who he is. ‘A’ has recalibrated normal. It’s when he is not fretting over unexpected problems or saying the most bewildering things that the day seems a bit off. It’s people like him that perhaps with their sheer will force the world around them to be a little more accepting towards ‘non-squares’.

What our dashing former Governor of the Reserve Bank of India once said for himself in fact seems to fit ‘A’ to the ‘T’’. “My name is RRR (read ‘A’ here) and I do what I do!” May your tribe grow, ‘A’.

shivangirai@gmail.com