Happy Monday, everyone! Of course, it’s September 11th, so you’re not allowed to be that happy, even though it is the 16th anniversary of Donald Trump’s 40 Wall Street becoming the tallest building in Manhattan. You may recall that Trump personally witnessed thousands of people cheering the event, though inexplicably in Jersey City.

It being Week 34 of The Presidential Apprentice, I imagine Donald Trump will claim credit for intimidating Hurricane Irma into Category 4 status, by showing that he was so serious, and such a mavericky, independentish, Teddy Roosevelt kind of a guy.

What a weekend, huh? I’ll be shocked if Trump hasn’t rage-tweeted something by show time, upending 150 minutes of collective journalistic hallucinations about “pivoting.”

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As with most days, our broadcasting day begins with Trump rage-tweets. Today, he’s mad that Republicans—whoever they are—haven’t delivered on Obamacare repeal. But speaking of Trump’s moods, he’s actually thrilled at having gotten good press on the latest budget deal. It’s fun to dream about what would happen if Dems really could manipulate Trump into doing good things just by flattering him constantly. But Republicans are still bending over backwards to protect him, presumably in hopes of hurting more people. Immigrant-bashing right-wing-blonde-lady-of-the-moment Tomi Lahren is shown the door, but probably won’t leave America. OK, everybody knows Facebook f*#&ed up our election. And everybody knows Russia is f*#&ing up all the elections, everywhere. It’s what they do. Once again, top Republicans knew too, but swore each other to secrecy so their party could reap the benefits. So now that we know Russian trolls were buying Facebook ads as well as circulating fake news, is it really impossible that they did their own targeting? After all, they have had some practice at it. And it’s not like our fringiest fringe kooks were keeping it a secret that they were vulnerable to manipulative political f*#&nuttery. Now look at the particular brand of craziness just now spilling out into the streets. Hmm! Oh, also, this: Wife of Trump Org ethics attorney arrested after tryst with Fauquier inmate.

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