Ardent Leisure's chief executive Deborah Thomas at the company's annual meeting on Thursday. Credit:Louise Kennerley We live with this reality daily, the most obvious example being the risks we take every time we get into a motor vehicle, or climb a ladder, or go under a general anaesthetic, or have a swim, or step barefoot on a bee. Sometimes each of those things end up killing people and each of them is statistically much more lethal than Dreamworld's rides. Part of the reason for our collective sorrow over the Dreamworld deaths is that they are rare. It would also be sad if four people are killed in a car crash tomorrow, but if we don't know the individuals or there is not some particularly newsworthy circumstance – newlyweds, a young family, lottery winners – their deaths would barely register, if at all. A bigger reason for the Dreamworld mass sorrow is the incongruity of tragedy at a fun park, and at a particular park that so many millions of us have visited, on a ride that so many millions of us have ridden. I have, with my children. There is an emotional reflex that says "it could have been us". That's understandable, but not rational. We rarely think it as we hurtle past the crucifixes and bunches of wilted or plastic flowers that have become the commonplace background of our roads. If you are the CEO of a fun park or in senior management or sit on the board, you should know all that. If you don't, you are incompetent and don't deserve your pay.

Dreamworld ... a fun park that so many of us have visited. Credit:Glenn Hunt And if you do know it, you would have comprehensive plans in place to handle the very public tragedy. The first step would be to devote every resource at your disposal to the survivors and the families of the victims. You would wrap them in cotton wool. You would be at their service at the highest level. You would have learned from Qantas' captain Richard de Crespigny who, after landing QF 32 against all manner of odds, still shepherded his passengers, addressed them with calm reason about their experience and gave them his phone number in case they wanted to talk further. Queensland Premier Annastacia Palaszczuk and police assistant commissioner Brian Codd pay their respects at Dreamworld. Credit:Glenn Hunt Ardent did not. The chairman was left mouthing platitudes at the AGM about concern for the families of the dead, only to have the façade blown away by his CEO being forced to admit in a televised media conference that she hadn't spoken to them and suddenly promising that she would. It could be the PR fail of the year.

The second step would be openness. All information, good or bad for the company, would be laid bare. The usual bevy of lawyers and dubious "crisis managers" advising the company to say nothing, admit nothing, lest it subsequently be used against the bottom line, would be sent packing. If you've made a mistake, own it. You can't cover up failure and any attempt to do so has a tendency to become a greater failure. You would have learned from the former head of Australia's Jesuits, Fr Mark Raper, who put principle ahead of legal advice back in 2003 by apologising to victims of sexual abuse, proclaiming people were more important than the church's assets. Other clergy are still learning that. Ardent did not. Instead, the company retreated into the old "can't say nuffink 'cause there's going to be a coronial inquiry". Rubbish. A coronial inquiry is not a criminal trial. If Ardent already knows or thinks it knows what caused the deaths, it can tell the world. Its silence can lead the public to think either that Ardent has something to hide or it doesn't know what went wrong, which in turn questions their competence and/or casts a pall of doubt over the safety of every other ride. The third step would be to show some class by not talking about the money.

Ardent did not show class. Ms Thomas rattled on about the event having significant impact on the bottom line and promised to provide regular updates to the market. Yes, there was a scheduled AGM and stock market types speculate and ask questions about the financial impact of the deaths – but the company didn't need to answer them. This week, the bottom line should have been ignored. Let them speculate – the company admitted it couldn't really answer the questions anyway. In these circumstances, ASIC is not going to issue a speeding ticket for lack of disclosure. As for the CEO's bonus, the example has already been set by BHP when fatalities happen on your watch – forget it. But Ardent did not. Only after the bonus became a massive embarrassment did damage control crank into gear and Thomas pledged to donate the cash portion of her bonus to charity. Act with humanity, class and control and another bonus will be earned down the track. On the performance so far, maybe not.

Amidst so much failure, the desire to reopen was the right thing. That the idea of opening on Friday didn't pass muster with the police still conducting a crime scene is just another example of dud management. A half-smart operator would have checked first. But as soon as it can, Dreamworld should reopen. We all need to get back on the horse, especially the employees, I suspect. Tragedy needs to be kept in perspective, however it strikes. Amusement parks exist for fun, for laughter, for kids of all ages to be silly and take pleasure in rides that are meant to offer some tame adventure. The deaths are terrible, but the joy that many millions have had and will have should not be denied. The opening lines of a poem from high school have never left me and always resurface at such times, Auden's Musee des Beaux Arts. About suffering they were never wrong,

The Old Masters; how well, they understood Its human position; how it takes place While someone else is eating or opening a window or just walking dully along; How, when the aged are reverently, passionately waiting For the miraculous birth, there always must be

Loading Children who did not specially want it to happen, skating On a pond at the edge of the wood.