This article was originally published May 22, 2018.

Worried that you and your partner aren't having enough sex? You're not alone. In fact, according to the New York Times, over 21,000 people turn to Google to help shed light on their "sexless marriages" each month, meaning this relationship conundrum is probably a lot more common than you'd think. And while lighting a few candles and running a romantic bath might seem like easy antidotes to that desire drought you're experiencing, the science says otherwise. To make sense of it all, we enlisted nurse Jake Mossop to help explain why so many relationships become sexless and share the #1 scientifically-proven way to help stimulate your sex life. Hint: it has nothing to do with what goes on inside the bedroom.