Wrong.

A 62-year-old man named Sefer Çalınak went on a Turkish dating show called “The Luck of the Draw” and revealed that he happens to be an ax murderer — literally, he killed his girlfriend with an ax. Oh, and by the way, he said, he killed one of his two wives as well.

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He was on the show looking for a third wife, presumably because he’s trying to catch up with Henry VIII. Çalınak told the host of the Flash TV show he was an “honest person looking for a new wife,” according to a Turkish newspaper, the Hurriyet Daily News.

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Well, he was honest about the fate of his wife and girlfriend. The first woman he killed was his cousin, Fadime. It’s like “Fiddler on the Roof,” but with a grislier ending: Fadime’s family wanted her to marry an old widower and she wasn’t really down with that, so she and Çalınak eloped when they were teenagers. Then “her behavior changed,” Çalınak told the host. “The nephew of the man who wanted to marry her started to come to our village. I was jealous and I killed her, in a way.”

With amnesty, Çalınak was released from prison after 4 1/2 half years — the original sentence was 13 years, 9 months — whereupon he married wife No. 2. They have two children. He let her live. They separated, and Çalınak started an affair with a married woman who promised to leave her husband for him. She changed her mind, possibly after getting wind of the fact that he’d “in a way” killed his first wife, and thought better of her idea to leave her husband.

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“I killed her after she attempted to kill me,” Çalınak said. “She was accidentally killed when I swung the ax.”

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At this point, it’s hard to believe any contestants, let alone the host, were still on that sound stage. This is when you listen to your inner Oda Mae Brown — “Molly, you in danger, girl” — and you hightail it out of there.

Çalınak went on to explain that he went back to prison, where he was granted yet another amnesty, and now here he sits, looking for a third duck.

Wife. He means wife. Says the paper: