If I was your cloud provider, I'd never let you down

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Reddit, we know the whole internet loves you, but they just don’t love you the way we love you. We heard about what happened today with that other guy, and it just breaks our heart to see you down.

All we want is to take care of you. We wouldn’t even mind if you got all confession bear and even overly attached girlfriend on us.

But the truth is, we love you so much, we know it would be selfish to keep you to ourselves. We just want to make sure that you keep shining your inner light, sharing all the important news (and cat gifs) and keeping the whole world connected.

We wanted to write you a love letter to tell about all the ways we can make you happy, but we realized a top 10 list would probably get more upvotes. So here are the reasons you should be with us, Reddit:

We can curl up around my monitor and you can AMA every night. (Try it now, sales@joyent.com) We’ve given our other partners 99.9999% uptime. We'll always think that every kitty or puppy you show us is the cutest kitty or puppy in the world. With Joyent, storage and compute operate on the same hardware within a secure zone. Our storage block doesn’t depend on network connections to work. They couldn't take your atheist ranting, but we'll read every rage comic you put in front of us. (We have a very responsive support team) We have the world's most interesting cloud file system. ZFS manages a storage pool of virtualized physical drives - all disk capacity is available to local tenants. We'll listen to every bit of knowledge philosoraptor imparts. We have fewer points of failure. No reslivering, no random mirroring to keep our storage block available. No systematic failure. If a machine goes down, we know exactly how to fix it. We live in the same town, let us take you out for sushirritos girl. (sales@joyent.com) You’ll get a steel-wall of zones around you to isolate each application environment, like a big strong Ryan Gosling holding you tight. Read more about Joyent's unique cloud architecture.

So give us a try Reddit, spin up a little something so we can keep you up all night long.