I sat on the toilet for several minutes trying to gain control of my body and mind

How could I be thinking of allowing my sons young friend to fuck me with his BBC while my loving husband was stood only feet away entertaining his friends.

I jumped out of my daze as my son banged on the door shouting for me to get out as he needed to pee.

I looked in the mirror to make sure everything was hidden away, then opened the door and let my son in.

I walked slowly down the stairs like a big cat hunting its prey.

I ducked down to allow my head to look under the downstairs celling to see if Paul was around.

I couldn’t see him, so I walked down the remainder of the stairs and through into the kitchen.

No Paul, my heart felt let down and empty.

God what was I thinking, why was I craving the attention of my sons young friend.

I moved over to the sink and started to wash the dirty plates and glasses, all the time leaning forward looking out the window looking for Paul.

Then I spotted him, it looked like he was holding a bottle of spirits while my husband and his friends stood around challenging each other to do shots one after the other.

It was a couple of hours before my son walked back into the kitchen swaying all over the place and giggling like a c***d. I shouted at him this time as he should know better after his earlier experience with booze.

He just laughed and said I am going to bed.

I followed behind worrying he might fall down the stairs in his current state.

Once I knew he was tucked up in bed and safe for the night I went back down stairs.

I looked out of the window and was shocked to see how dark it had gone in such a short period of time.

I also noticed most of the people had left or were saying good bye to my now very drunken husband, who was sat around the fire pit with three of his friends swaying and talking a little louder than normal.

I looked for Paul but he was nowhere to be seen, my heart dropped a beat and I felt empty inside, this shocked me as I felt like a teenage girl again doting over my first crush.

I walked outside and asked my husband and his friends if they were ready to call it a night as the BBQ had gone out and the candles only had an hour max left in them before they too would be burnt out.

My husband waved his arms and slurred something about they were moving into the family room to chill and finish off the single malt they had just opened.

I tried to argue and point out they had all had enough but they all followed my husbands lead and held their fingers up to their lips and all went shush woman the men are talking.