Hamburgers With Souls

You were created in a crucible mixture of cooking and magic: ancient sustenance sorcery that has bestowed, in you, a soul. This magic has varying and potent effects on you.

This creation of the Anthrohambugers happened long ago, and today there are very isolated hamlets of hamburger folk strewn about the world. Wherever they are, hamburgers tend to be extreme compared to other sentient races, and have had mixed contact with them - sometimes being hunted, other times, themselves being the hunters. Wherever you came from and whatever you're made of, most Hamburgers share these traits.

Note to DMs: If this seems a bit strong, remember that this is a literal sentient hamburger and NPCs should react accordingly.

Hamburger Traits

Your cooked heritage manifests in constant ways of your race throughout time.

Ability Score Increase. Your Constitution score increases by 1, and your Charisma score increases by 1.

Alignment. Hamburgers vary wildly in alignment, and no one generalization is true of their morality.

Speed. As a food, you cannot walk. You can, however, propel your body forwards in what would best be described as jumping. The amount of jumps you can make depends on your subrace, but as a rule, each jump can propel you up to 10 feet forwards or upwards.

Living Food. You're a hamburger. You don't need to eat, but you can and might be eaten by other people. Your body is a tasty meal, kept fresh by your soul. You don't sleep, but enter an inactive trance for four hours a day, in which you are as perceptive to your surroundings as you are when not in trance. You also count as a Beast, whenever that comes up.

Eyeless Perception. You have no eyes and cannot see. However, when you are on solid ground like earth, stone, thick wood, etc; you gain tremorsense out to 30 feet. Your other senses work normally, except for your exquisite sense of taste.

Spicy Heritage. Your race was cooked into existence, and none of you have ever quite forgotten that. You gain advantage on all checks when you are considered to be cooking.

Invisible Hands of the Soul. You do not have any appendages. However, you have invisible hands that allow you to wield weapons almost comically. They cannot be seen, even under Truesight.

Languages. Hamburgers, as a general rule, have a hard time replicating the sounds that humanoids can make. However, they find it strangely easy to speak Dwarven, and as such, they speak an understandable dialect of it.

Burger Variants. Three variants of Hamburgers have evolved over the years. Choose one of these variants.

Bite-Sized Burger

You are a much smaller burger than normal. You can cram into tiny spaces, and you make an apt meal for even the smaller sized beings of the world without being too much. You gain the following traits.

Ability Score Increase. Your Dexterity score increases by 2.

Size. Your size is Small.

Speed. You can jump twice per round, to a total of 20 movement.

Capricious Build. Your small stature and quick movements seem surprising to many other races, because you're a hamburger. You gain proficiency in Stealth.

Vegan Burger

You're an average sized burger as far as sizes go, but there's something special about you - you are not made of any meat! Whether this has an effect on your level of pacifism is up for you to decide, but no one of your race is made of any meat or other animal products.

Ability Score Increase. Your Wisdom score increases by 2.

Size. Your size is Medium.

Speed. You can jump thrice per round, to a total of 30 movement.

Au Naturale. You and your tribe are closely attuned to nature. You can communicate with Small or smaller beasts through sounds and simple gestures.

The Hunter Hambourgeois

You are probably closest to the original race of hamburgers made to serve the mighty Cook. You're bigger than the other kinds, and you hold your size as your pride. Many of your race consider themselves to be the biggest and best of all the Hamburgers.

Ability Score Increase. Your Strength score increases by 2.

Size. Your size is Large. Instead of dealing double damage die with physical weapons, you add 1d4 to the damage, as with the spell Enlarge. In addition, you're on the bigger side of Large. You can't fit through normal Medium spaces. None of the weapon statistics change, i.e. heavy weapons are still heavy for you, and you require a feat to dual-wield normal sized weapons.

Speed. You can jump thrice per round, to a total of 30 movement.

Meatly Menacing. You contain much more meat than the other burgers, and are considered a bit more savage. You gain proficiency in Intimidation checks. In addition, when you jump, you can use your attack to attempt to squash them, dealing damage equal to 1d6 + your Strength modifier.