Axioms to Abide By:

Trouble Dealing?

Here are the Rules to Abide By:

I) You Before Them.

If any action causes a major sacrifice on your part in order to appease them for superficial reasons, it is a mistake.

Bite the bullet and don’t do it.

II) Do Not Attach your Own Morality to Their Actions

It’s not right for them to treat me this way!

I’ve done everything I can do be a good son/daughter.

What a double standard when they can’t even…(respect you/treat you nicely/admit their own faults, etc.)

They will never understand where you are coming from, nor do they care to. It is no longer about what is wrong/right, but rather about if your response will yield the best results for self preservation.

III) The Only Weapon They Have is to Scream

This is silly, and you know it’s silly.

The ‘acknowledgement’ of their own faults will not lead to them changing, or resolution of the problem at hand.

The fundamental way they deal and attempt to control you is flawed, and ‘strategies’ that comes from a defective philosophy will only cause more damage.

IV) Negotiation is the Enemy of Done

Want to go on a vacation with a significant other? Do it.

Want to transfer programs with money that you’ve earned? Do it.

Don’t even call when you’re enjoying your time in Hawaii. Leave your phone at home on purpose, and when they throw a fit, tell them you left it behind because you were afraid they would miss you too much and decided to leave them a souvenir.

They’ve shown no respect for you by trying to control your actions as an adult, so why should you respect them?

V) Criticize their Flaws/Take It Personally

Are they talking shit about a friend with no real basis in reality?

Are they complaining about how you never think about them?

Or is it so bad that they insult/demean you on a daily basis?

Don’t criticize them.

Don’t try to ‘correct’ their behaviour.

It is insulting to try to see eye-to-eye with those who display trashy behaviour.

VI) Leave When You’ve Reached Your Limits

Argument becoming irrational/annoying? Leave the room.

You’re capable of supporting yourself, but it would be “too mean” to leave your parents hanging? Move out and don’t look back.

VII) Control Thyself

Don’t become angry, don’t grow upset, and don’t become bitter over things that you cannot change.

Keep observing yourself and ask if this is a beneficial way to react to a difficult situation. Being self aware enough to do this will take time.

Take your frustrations out elsewhere and avoid anything that could make your situation worse.

VIII) Remember What You’ve Done

YOU ARE ALWAYS SLACKING AND DOING SOMETHING UNPRODUCTIVE.

YOU NEVER THINK OF YOUR PARENTS BEFORE YOURSELF.

How come you such a failure?!

Assess what you’ve done in the past.

Are you really the dishonorable, basement dwelling, unsuccessful mess that they’re describing you to be? Think about what happened, and pretend they are dogs barking in the background if it’s untrue.

If it is true, congratulations. You can now improve yourself and never stoop to that level again.

IX) Keep it Simple

Offer no explanations for your actions, and keep it simple.

You save both energy and time.

A simple “No,” or “That’s wrong,” is enough to justify your decisions.

Rational behaviour is not to be expected from people who have displayed the opposite time and time again.

X) Be Accountable

Not only for your mistakes, but your achievements and how you’ve improved thus far. Credit yourself where it’s due.

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