It’s kind of funny – I feel like I almost take for granted how quiet and empty the house is these days… It’s really nice. Peaceful.

I mean, I miss the twins and Clara while they’re gone, sure. But, awful as it sounds, it’s kinda nice having a few empty spots at the dinner table. Or not having to fight over what to watch on TV. Or not being woken up at all hours of the night by Lucas playing his guitar. Or not having to listen to Clara and Florian going at it when they think they’re being quiet (though last time, Lucas embarrassed them so badly that I don’t think we have to worry about it happening again…).

Anyway, the point is, I’m really enjoying how empty the house is (another sign I’m getting old, huh?), but having Jocelyne visit this weekend is a nice change. Not that her being here takes away from the peace and quiet too much. When Clara and Lucas are back, we’ll all need to start wearing ear plugs while we adjust…

Not exactly the case with my Tochter, but having another person in the house is still nice (Well, nice for us. I think we’ve been driving her crazy grilling her about this boyfriend of hers… Hopefully she’ll bring him along next time so I can see this guy for myself).

And speaking of bringing people along… Well, Jocelyne wasn’t supposed to be the only one visiting this weekend. Clara kind of bailed on coming at the last minute. Something about Lena visiting? To be honest, I’m not 100% sure I believe it, even though Jocelyne backed up her story.

I guess it’s not too surprising she made some kind of excuse though. She’d been kind of weird lately whenever we talk to her. Mama and Papa have been really worried about her, and I know they were disappointed when they found out she’s not visiting. I feel kind of bad for them…

I mean, I’m still sitting here worrying about Gus, so I get it. Things are a little better for him, I guess. He’s been coming out of his room more often, at least. But he’s still so quiet. Not smiling much either.

I talked to Jocelyne about it last night, and I think she’s gonna try talking to him today. God, I hope he’s willing to talk to her. Because Lettie and I have tried just about everything. We know there’s something more going on here besides the break up. But if Gus won’t open up to us about it, how can we help him?

I really wish Lucas was here… And not just because we miss him so much, either (though that’s definitely a big part of it). I just feel like Gus really needs to talk to him. Lucas has always been so good with his little Bruder. I know Gus would be honest with him. I’m sure of it.

But I’m sure it’ll be fine. Jocelyne will find a way to help him to open up. She’s such a great kid. So compassionate and understanding… Such a good heart. Just like Colette.

And if Jocelyne can’t do it, I’m not sure who else can. But someone has to. I just can’t do this anymore, y’know?

I’m tired of living with this empty shell. We all are. We need the real Gus back.

I miss my boy.