I’m so fucking overwhelmed by life tonight. My kids have been at other’s throats all day. They’re hurt and angry and unable to cope any better with all that’s shaken up their world. There isn’t a goddam thing I can do to make this better for them. It’s absolutely heartbreaking, frustrating and among the most helpless feelings I’ve ever experienced. The only thing that’s going to help is time and obviously therapy.

This change in our family is impacting every aspect of our lives. Sleep, school, work, and especially selfcare are among the most adversely impacted. It’s an uphill battle and one that we don’t seem to be winning right now.

All I can do is try to keep them distracted, remind them that they’re loved and make sure they have whatever professional help they need.

I took them hiking this afternoon because I couldn’t take the fighting anymore. I was hoping that getting outside in the 60°F sunshine would do us all some good. It did in some ways but didn’t in others. At the end of the day, however, we were better for it. It took the edge off for everyone and the fighting was minimal afterwards.

I’m so fucking exhausted, burned out, overwhelmed and every other word you can think of. I’m fighting depression and trying to keep us above water.

Having said all of that, I have no intention of giving up. I’m absolutely determined to regain control of our lives and make the needed adaptations in order for us to heal and move forward. Quitting isn’t an option.