Sigh. Continue: “Anyway, my uncle wouldn’t stop talking about the secret sauce that my grandmother uses for her spaghetti — he’s a stakeholder in Prego and knows all the tomato price points. He even made me watch a presser about it! I just wanted to collapse on the couch and vape, but my brother was manspreading all over it, totally unaware of his physicality.”

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According to Lake Superior State University, this is the kind of language that should completely disappear from usage in 2016. For five decades now, the school has been compiling a list of words that they recommend be retired because of their “mis-use, over-use and general uselessness.”

The Banished Words List receives hundreds of nominations each year, targeting pet peeves from everyday speech as well as industry terms. A committee arrived at the final decisions in late December, producing a slate of 13 words fit to be culled.

With these in mind, what might a more refined post-holiday exchange look like? Lucky for us all, Wayne State University released a counterpart “Word Warriors” list Monday, for when everyday language just doesn’t rise to the occasion.

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Let’s try this again.

“How were your holidays?”

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“Hmm,” you muse, “much of it was spent in pure delectation. My family is quite sybaritic, not to mention fond of puerile entertainment. Some of the gatherings were a downright rumpus! We were all so tired after them that we ended up torpid on the couch, slowly shoveling dessert into our mouths.”

Pause. Continue: “But other moments were complete anathema to me, like when my teenage cousin — really just an epigone of his father — wouldn’t stop calling the women around us ‘fat.’ I pointed out his turpitude, but that was no sockdolager, and he just kept on going. I ended up absquatulating right after dinner.”

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Lost? Wayne State has deemed these 10words “especially worthy of retrieval from the linguistic closet.” The Word Warriors’ website boasts an ever-growing list of “expressive, yet regrettably neglected” words based on submissions from both site administrators and the general public.

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“The English language has more words in its lexicon than any other,” Jerry Herron, a WSU dean, said in the Word Warrors’ statement. “Bringing these words back into everyday conversation is just another way of broadening our horizons.”

Below are the complete lists of banished words phrases and those worthy of retrieval, along with select definitions and commentary from the universities behind them.

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so

“So the word that received the most nominations this year was already banished, but today it is being used differently than it was in 1999, when nominators were saying, ‘I am SO down for this list!'”

conversation

“Gayle from Cedarville, Mich., wonders if ‘debate has become too harsh for our delicate sensibilities. Now we are all encouraged to have a ‘conversation,’ and everything will somewhat be magically resolved.'”

problematic

“‘A corporate-academic weasel word,’ according to the Urban Dictionary.”

stakeholder

“A word that has expanded from someone describing someone who may actually have a stake in a situation or problem, now being over-used in business to describe customers and others.”

price point

“Another example of using two words when one will do.”

secret sauce

John Beckett of Ann Arbor, Mich., said: “Usually used in a sentence explaining the ‘secret in excruciating public detail.’ Is this a metaphor for business success based on the fast food industry?”

break the Internet

Tim Bednall of Melbourne, Australia, said: “An annoying bit of hyperbole about the latest saucy picture or controversy that is already becoming trite.”

walk it back

“A slower back-pedal?”

presser

“This shortened form of ‘press release’ and ‘press conference’ is not so impressive.”

manspreading

“A word that is familiar to those in bigger cities, where seats on the bus or subway are sometimes difficult to find.”

vape

“Vape and vaping are used to describe the act of ‘smoking’ e-cigarettes (another strange word) since the products emit vapor instead of smoke.”

giving me life

“The phrase refers to anything that may excite a person, or something that causes one to laugh.”

physicality

Dan Beitzel of Perrysburg, Ohio, said: “I am not sure who is responsible, but over the last 12-18 months you cannot watch a sporting event, listen to a sports talk show on radio, or anything on ESPN without someone using this term to attempt to describe an athlete or a contest.”

absquatulate

To discreetly leave a gathering or party without informing the host

anathema

Something or someone that one vehemently dislikes

delectation

Pleasure and delight

epigone

A less distinguished follower or imitator of someone, especially an artist or philosopher

puerile

Childishly silly and trivial

rumpus

A noisy, confused or disruptive commotion

sockdolager

Something that settles the matter, a decisive blow or answer

sybaritic

Fond of sensuous luxury or pleasure; self-indulgent

torpid

Mentally or physically inactive; lethargic

turpitude

Depravity, wickedness