

Selfish? The misconception about remaining childfree that bothers many of us the most is that people who decide not to have children are SELFISH. Some data/facts on this issue: In 1992, Rathus and Nevid (both psychologists) interviewed hundreds of couples on their reasons for having or not having children. They found couples with children had 9 common answers for their decision, and that couples without children had 13 common answers for their decision. To summarize, they are: NINE COMMON REASONS GIVEN FOR HAVING CHILDREN:



Personal experience - to have the experience of being a parent Personal pleasure - the fun and joy of raising children Personal extension - carrying on the genetic heritage or family name Relationship - the close bond which is shared with children Personal status - culture affords some respect just for being a parent Personal competence - gratification from facing the challenge of parenting Personal responsibility - the opportunity to look out for the welfare and education of another Personal power - some find the power they have over children gratifying Moral worth - some feel it is a good and selfless act to put the life of another first, or that it is a moral obligation to have children THIRTEEN COMMON REASONS GIVEN FOR NOT HAVING CHILDREN:



Time together - more time each other and for other interests Freedom - more opportunity to pursue other areas of life Other children - can enjoy other children, and can help children who are already here through foster parenting or charity work with children Dual careers - both people may pursue careers full time, a person (woman) does not have to quit, and a child is not raised by day care Financial security - more money to pursue other interests Community welfare - greater opportunity to get involved in community organizations Difficulty - parenthood is a demanding and difficult job which is not always enjoyable Strain on environmental resources - the world is already overpopulated and is unable to support the people who are already here Increase in overpopulation - having children geometrically increases this problem and all of the problems that come with it Choice not mandate - parenthood has to be a choice, not everyone is meant to be a parent Irrevocable decision - once the decision is made it cannot be changed, so people must be sure it is what they want Failure - some people had unhappy or abusive childhoods and fear that they would not be a good parent Danger - the world is a dangerous place and it is not right to bring a child into it In our opinion, it seems that all of the 9 reasons given for having children are selfish; they are all about what the parent will gain for themselves (love, bonding, etc.) While only 5 of the 13 reasons for not having children are selfish, the other 8 involve concerns for the world, the community, and the child that would be born.

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