In 1962, Beatles guitarist George Harrison wrote the following humorous letter — a tongue-in-cheek, step-by-step guide to washing his car — to a young Beatles fanatic by the name of Susan Houghton. It’s worth noting that the owner of the soon-to-be-grime-covered Ford Classic at Forthlin Road, as mentioned in step 7, was a certain Mr. McCartney.

Transcript follows.

(Source: Hard Rock Memorabilia; Image of Harrison, via.)

Transcript

42, BRODIE AVE.

MOSSLEY HILL

LIVERPOOL 18.

Dear Susan,

I hope you had a good chrimbo, and have a happy nuclear ☮ too. Thank you for giving my mum flowers and chocs. [It was you wasn’t it??] Thanks also for the card, in fact THANKS A HEAP SUSAN. “Your too kind” John Lennon

Instructions for washing car:-

1/. Use plenty of soapy clean water, preferably warm.

2/. When car is [though it may take a lot of water]- clean, leave to dry off for about 20 minutes. [You can have a cup of tea now].

3/ Now ask mother to find some dusters, [2 each] and with the polish, apply with no.1 duster over an area of about 1 sq foot at a time, in a circular motion. Don’t leave it too long before polishing off. This should be carried out until the car is spotless, and gleaming clean. [Don’t forget the wheels!]

4/. Take 1 brush or vacuum cleaner, and have a bash at the carpets. They too can be made to look like new.

5/. The windows [interior] should be polished now, after which you can retire for another tea.

6/. Before returning home, I suggest you look over the car again, for any parts you may have missed out, on finding, they should be cleaned accordingly.

7/. Now proceed to 20 Forthlin RD. with about 6 buckets full of dirty muddy greasey water, where a shiney Ford Classic will be seen. Spread contents of the buckets evenly, so as to leave a nice film of muck over the car. You can now return home knowing you have done your deed for the day. Thank you!!!

Proceedings should be carried out about the 8th of January.

Thanks again for the cheerio for now don’t forget Ban the Bog.

Love from George [Harrison] xxxxxx