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“YEAH, I had so much fun too. Let’s keep in touch. You’re number? No, I’ve totally got it already somehwere. Mine? It’s like 017-something, there’s like a 5 or 2 in there as well. Oh shit, is that the time? I gotta go!”

Waving a fond farewell at a Paris airport, the sports media made sure to let women’s football down gently by making purposefully vague commitments to sustain and improve coverage, checking in on games, players and leagues.

“Look, everyone gets caught up in the moment. It was like a summer fling, they don’t really think we’re going to keep in touch, do they? They knew what this relationship was,” shared one media outlet, who slid straight into the DMs of the men’s game the second the Women’s World Cup was out of sight.

The 2019 tournament, won by USA, reached new audiences inspiring millions and dispelled the dumbfounding myth that people wouldn’t watch the women’s game on TV, however as that hype slowly dissipates, some media personnel are regretting being so vocal in their support.

“Oh my sweet innocent buttercup baby, you didn’t swallow their lies did you?” a grizzled women’s golf shared with women’s football from the end of an airport bar.

“They promise you the world, but once a man does something significant in sport they go crawling back to them,” added a hurt sounding Women’s Athletics.

There is hope coverage will further improve once brands realise how much money there is to be made from pretending to genuinely support women.

Elsewhere, men everywhere are said to utterly bereft as now that the tyranny of the Women’s World Cup is over they’ll have nothing to moan about.