I have made it a habit since I began writing to only write about things I know about and if there is one subject I know intimately it is alcoholism. I am an alcoholic. I have battled this disease since the early 80’s and will continue to battle it for the rest of my life. It has cost me two marriages, two businesses and a mountain of debt, but more than anything it cost me, in the past, my self-esteem. Happily I can report that I have now been sober for over five years and my self-esteem is re-established and I love life, but the steps I had to take to reach this point are steps I will continue to take for the rest of my life if I do not want history to repeat itself.

I do not plan on debating with you the fact that alcoholism is a disease. It is recognized as such by the American Medical Association; however, I do not need the conclusions of doctors worldwide to convince me that alcoholism is a disease; I only have to review my life to realize that fact.

Alcoholism is a progressive disease that happens in stages; the problem is that by the time you reach the dangerous stages you are so far addicted that turning back is a very difficult process. I began as a social drinker; I loved the effects of alcohol; I loved socializing with friends; I loved the self-confidence it gave me and I loved who I became when I drank. Early on I could drink socially, have a couple beers and go days without drinking and not give it a thought. But somewhere down the line that all changed and the day arrived when I could not stop at one or two beers and the thought of going days without a drink was inconceivable.

And still I denied that I had a problem; all I needed to do was adjust my drinking. Drink only beer and leave the hard stuff alone. Drink only on weekends. Drink only with other people and never alone. All attempts at regaining normalcy failed until I began to believe what my dear departed mother believed, that I must be weak of will if I couldn’t control my drinking.



