Oh, how the tables have turned… I remember the days when candidates lamented the fact that employers would completely ghost them after one, or even two interviews. They’d disappear into the ether without so much as a form email rejection. Now, candidates are accepting jobs and not showing up. The irony isn’t lost on any of us when employers complain about this new trend, completely forgetting that not too long ago, they were the ones that set the standard that it was “ok” to ghost.

To be clear, we don’t condone ghosting, on either side. We get back to candidates who interviewed if they didn’t get a job (yes, it’s disappointing news, but we’re not going to leave you hanging). And you can be sure as heck we wouldn’t be thrilled if one of our candidates, who got hired, ghosted our client. Nothing makes ghosting ok – on either side.

USA Today published an article in July with some staggering statistics when it comes to ghosting. According to them, many businesses report that between 20-50% of job applicants and workers are pulling no-shows in some form. With unemployment dipping to 3.9%, only 0.2% short from the lowest level reached in the last 50 years, candidates have options in this job market and they’re taking them, as evidenced by the 2018 Conference Board CEO study. This study found that the #1 concern for CEOs is failure to attract and retain top talent. It’s no wonder that ghosting is now on employers’ minds. We’re just sad that it only became an issue when it started affecting them – since, again, ghosting candidates has been a thing they’ve done for years.

Revenge can feel great, but there are consequences

As harmless as it can initially seem to ghost an employer, there can be serious repercussions from this behavior. People know people, and doing something as egregious as ghosting when you’ve already signed an offer letter can cause a huge loss of opportunity for you – not just at the company you ghosted (that bridge will be wayyyyy burned), but potentially at others. People talk, especially in tight-knit communities and niches, so if you’ve changed your mind about a position, it can sting less to – at the very least – send an email. Something short and sweet should do:

“Dear [Interviewer],

Thank you so much for the opportunity to work at [company].

I have unfortunately decided to pursue a different role. I appreciate the offer immensely, but at this point, I must respectfully decline. I apologize for the time and resources that were wasted.

Sincerely,

Your Name”

Again, there’s no good way to do it, and you can pretty much expect people to be pissed, but at least notifying them so they can hire someone else immediately shows consideration for their time.

In the case where you were submitted by a recruiter, please let your recruiter know first! We can speak to the client ourselves, and since we most likely had other great, qualified candidates for that role, we can present them to the client to soften the blow.

On the flipside: Clients ghosting recruiters… and all the candidates we submitted

When you, as a client, ghost a recruiter, you’re not just ghosting the recruiter – you’re ghosting all the candidates we sent you, probably without even looking at them. That’s totally your prerogative, but to put it in perspective for you: when we send you a candidate, it’s because we think they’re perfect for you. What you don’t see are the hundreds of résumés we received that were unfortunately not good fits. So when you ghost us, you’re ghosting some potentially perfect people for your organization, and really doing your company and yourself a disservice.

Our friend and fellow recruiter, Adam Karpiak, wrote this a little bit ago regarding ghosting, and it resonated with us. It was like hearing a choir of angels:

“Either an entire company with 100 employees has vanished, or I’ve been ghosted. Either way, I’m concerned. I’ve called, I’ve emailed, I’ve been checking the news. Heck, I’ve even sat in their lobby wearing sunglasses and a hat (because no one can recognize anyone wearing sunglasses and a hat. This has been proven in countless movies). Nothing has worked.

You would think 100 people missing would be bigger news but apparently I’m the only one that noticed. Well, me and all of my feedbackless candidates.

Ghosting happens to everyone. We all talk about recruiters and candidates disappearing on each other, but we rarely talk about clients ghosting on recruiters.

What companies may or may not know (or care about) is that when they ghost a recruiter, they ghost a lot of candidates/applicants in the process.

The candidate experience, a company’s reputation, is more than how employees feel. It’s how they treat their applicants. Candidates and potential candidates think ‘Wow, if this is how they treat people they are trying to impress, how do they treat people they actually pay to work for them?’

Companies, people talk about you… whether it’s good or bad is up to you.”

The world would be a much better place if people just talked instead of ghosting. Ghosting benefits no one. It simply puts people in uncomfortable situations that could all be avoided by simple communication – communication that begins at the employer level. It’s not ok to only care about something because it now affects you. Displaying common courtesy from the start would have largely avoided this whole ghosting epidemic. Respect your candidates’ time. They put effort into their résumés and applications – the least you can do is send a notification that they were not selected to proceed further. Trust us, outright rejection hurts less than ghosting.

Remember: without your staff, your company is, well, nothing.

And now, what I know you came here for… ghosting stories, from both ghostees and ghosters

“I was at a company for a few weeks when one of my coworkers just stopped coming to work. To my knowledge, they never even let HR know what happened. I even texted the person outside of work to make sure they were ok and they never responded. I was worried they had died.” -Kelly V.

“Earlier this year, my former employer was hiring for a UI/UX designer. One candidate in particular stood out, and everyone on the team got to meet him. He was great! I looked him up on social media and was really impressed by what I saw.

He accepted the job offer (!), but never came in for his first day on the job. When my boss got in contact with him, he claimed that his car had been stolen. She let the HR lead/recruiter know why he wasn’t in on his first day, and she (the HR lead) got in touch with him next. Some background: our HR lead/recruiter learned English as a second language, and sometimes when she types, things don’t come out… quite right. Her response to him claiming his car was stolen: ‘Okay, but don’t let it happen again ;)’

My boss never heard from him again after the HR lead/recruiter sent that email. We still don’t know if his car was actually stolen and he was really insulted by the remark, or if he had accepted a better job soon after accepting ours.” -Celia, Marketer at a Healthcare IT Company

“My worst ghosting was for a new grad position – made it through 2 phone screens and a technical phone interview to be brought on site. I had 2 weeks to work on a challenge problem they gave me, and the on site interview was to present my findings. After my presentation, the engineers broke up into 3 separate teams to continue technical interviews afterwards. I worked on that challenge problem for 80 hours, was super happy with my progress and the work I put in. Had a decent presentation and ok interviews after, not great though. Didn’t hear a single thing back, completely ghosted. Like wow, I figure an email or a phone call to let someone know they didn’t get it after putting that much effort into the process would be the baseline.” -Anonymous

“We just had someone ghost us, after working here for 7 or 8 years. Just stopped showing up. No notice.” -Kelsey H.

“I made it to the fourth and final interview for an HR position. Two phone interviews and two in-person panel interviews. I was one of the final two candidates. It’s been eight weeks, and I have yet to get the ‘thank you but we chose the other candidate’ email. I personally think it speaks volumes about the company itself. Everything worked out and I was offered another position the same week with another company, and I love my new job and new boss – but being ghosted without final follow up, especially when you’re one of two final candidates? It’s just unacceptable.” -Anonymous

“I was working for a software company and it was our yearly conference. The day of the conference, a new employee was starting on the team. What an awesome way to start a new job! The person ended up staying until lunch, then disappeared. We spent a large portion of time looking for the person, thinking something bad happened to them. They did not say anything to anyone, just left and never returned. Management took it personally. It was my first experience with ghosting in the office space.” -Anonymous

“I was interviewing for an Account Management position with a tech company and the whole process seemed to be going well. I had a phone interview, a webcam interview, and two separate in-person interviews all within the span of two weeks. Both of the individuals that interviewed me spoke like I already had the job, telling me about what my territory was going to be, which specific coworkers I’d be sitting near, when my first trade show would be, etc. I was told that all I was waiting for was HR to determine when my start date would be.

I never heard from them again. I called and emailed both people that interviewed me several times each over the month following my second interview, and never got any kind of response from either. It was frustrating because I really thought I had the job and was excited for it. I never even got an email saying they had chosen someone else. I’m glad I didn’t go work there, though, if that’s how they treat people before they’re even hired.” -Jenna D.

“So this was my old job at KFC. We hired a guy to start as a cook and he did his first 3 training shifts. His name was Raphael (like the ninja turtle) and he seemed like a nice enough kid. His training went fine so we put his name on the schedule to work a full shift. The day arrives, and he doesn’t show. No phone call, no one picking up at the number he gave us. So one of the other staff members, who happened to live close by, agrees to swing by his address to check and see if everything is ok. They get there, and the house was empty and showed signs of people going through a very hasty departure. We never figured out what happened to him.” -Vito P.

“A long time ago, someone that I recommended ghosted the company I worked for. They went through an entire week of training, then on their first or second shift, worked for about an hour and disappeared. I texted and called them for two weeks with no response, trying to find out if they were ok. They finally reached out and said they were ok and that they spontaneously decided that they no longer wanted to work in the industry (retail, and today I don’t blame them). I’m far removed from that job, but at the time, I caught some flack – mostly light-hearted jokes. After a month or two, everyone forgot about it.” -Anonymous

“We had a person accept an offer for a Director position, had him scheduled to start, and then the day he started he backed out because his current job had offered him more money. He told the VP that he wouldn’t be joining after all, but the VP didn’t make it public. We only found out due to the chaos.” -Anonymous

“We recently had someone accept a job offer. He worked for 2 weeks, then bounced because he was offered more money elsewhere ¯\_(ツ)_/¯. He was fully remote, in Texas. He still writes some articles for us once in a while, and he’s even listed as Ghosted on our team page.” -Ben M.

“One of my coworkers (who was on my team) didn’t come in one day. My manager checked her email, and he had sent a communication very late at night about having an emergency and needing to go home to Minnesota. He moved overnight. No real notice, other than that one very late email. Worst part was his brother worked in the warehouse and he took off as well. We lost 2 decent employees in one fell swoop.” -Meredith M.

“My last job was at a company which was a call center. I can’t help but describe their orientation for the first year of my employment as cult-like. They spent roughly half a day idolizing the original owner and founder of the company and talking about how the work they do is so good and helps so many people. Also, I’m pretty sure I heard someone say ‘drink the Kool-Aid’ at least once. It’s a darn call center. I’d say there was probably close to a 20% ghost rate.” -Ben A.

“Working a summer job at my uncle’s shop, a new guy ghosted during a huge order. At that point, he had only been working for under a week, at most. My uncle, who by then did sales and front office, had to come back and screen print to make the deadline. Next day, as my uncle is pulling a squeegee, the newbie walks to the big garage door and begins his sob story excuse. Uncle Ron cut him off like six words in and told him to go home permanently. Gotta call in if you wanna stay employed. It was my first job when I was 16, so the harsh consequences of his actions hammered that lesson home.” -Justin P.

“In college, I got a job at a call center. I worked one shift and never went back. It was an assembly line of anonymous workers calling for donations to the university. It was a very impersonal job and it got a very impersonal response. Was it a rude decision? Yes. I regret ghosting them, but I don’t regret the decision to quit.” -Ryne P.

“I’m a recent graduate and have been on the hunt for a couple months now. A recruiter contacted me on LinkedIn for a position that hit all the right notes for me. It was within a field I got my degree for, was located in the town I lived in, was a job I was qualified to do, and most of all was something I was actually interested in doing. I do a phone interview with the recruiter, which goes well, and get them to set up an in-person interview with the VP and Director of the firm.

The interview goes great. Communication was clear and both sides established what we were looking for/expected. They repeatedly stressed the fact that they were expanding very quickly and needed hires soon, and I made sure to let them know I was very interested in the job and could start immediately. I had very engaging conversations about their work and the industry and thanked them for the insights they gave me. They told me that they would contact me in one or two weeks. Overall, the interview took an hour and a half and I seemed to be really hitting it off with them.

I sent them a thank you letter the day after, thanking them for the great interview, and I mentioned that I was looking forward to hearing from them soon. No response. A week later, I sent a follow up to the VP, Director, and recruiter asking if the position was still open, and reiterated that I wanted the job without sounding completely desperate. Again, no response. I let another week pass and sent another follow up. Nothing.

Believe me, after job hunting for six months, I get that ghosting is a common occurrence. However, I really only see it happening at the application stage. At this point, I’m not surprised if I never hear back from a company after I send in an application. If anything, I feel thankful when I get a rejection notice at the application stage. But to get ghosted after going through a phone and in-person interview that went so well?

I’m sorry, but how can you not have the human decency to take five minutes to write an email to tell me that you don’t want me? Send me some copy-pasted rejection email that you send to all your rejected applicants, tell me you found someone better than me, or just say no – anything! But don’t leave me to drown in the anxiety of my own thoughts in silence when you tell me you’ll make the effort to contact me. I wouldn’t even mind if I didn’t land the job but still got a rejection notice. I’d be thankful for the closure.” -Anonymous

“We get a lot of mechanics who ghost at my work because the starting pay is super low for the area ($16/hr in Seattle) and they never make it to maxing out in their union job ($38+/hr) since it takes 6 years to do so. They find $25/hr jobs and just ghost because it’s better for them in the short term, instead of thinking about what’s best long term.

I’ve never had anyone personally ghost me or my team, but I’ve had peers who flat-out never came back to work after multiple designated overtime weekends because they missed important events in their lives.

Since we are so big, working on different teams can be like working for a different company, and we’ve had people rage quit only a couple cubicles over from teams of people who work for a different manager (and would be happy to work under them for another 30+ years). Better opportunities are around all the time here internally. However, people don’t normally start looking until their managers start screwing things up or changing their job into a montage of unreasonable, useless, or unnecessary tasks that they don’t feel proud of at the end of the day.

Our union members are out of luck if they don’t like their job. Most don’t have educations or connections to break into the salary fields, even when they could do a good job of it. So we get a lot of people who ghost the company for ‘pay raises’ when, if they stayed, they’d get paid a lot more eventually. I’ve also seen people quit just to get away from their manager, and rehire back into the company after the 1 year mark into a different job/team since it can take months to transfer jobs internally.

But, for the most part, I think we get a lot more ghosting from the hourly folk not wanting to make it through the union progression steps.” -Adam P., Aeronautics industry

Not quite ghosting, but this one is totally justified

“I quit a local place after 2 days once. They straight up lied to me in my interview. They didn’t want you to take lunch breaks (if you left to get food, you were expected to eat at your desk while you worked), and if you took too many bathroom breaks they would give you grief. They didn’t let you work remotely, unless you missed a deadline – then you were expected to work extra hours at home. I, however, had the decency not to ghost. I had a talk with an executive and we got into it. Told her I quit, and she pulled this nonsense of ‘you should be coming in here, putting your head down and getting a lot of work done to prove why you’re worth our money’ or some nonsense. I laughed at that. She wanted to act like I didn’t have other options, so I told her I’d go take one of the other offers I had at the time.” -Anonymous

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Have you ever been ghosted or ghosted a company? I want to hear your stories! Email me at roxanne@fullstacktalent.com

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Roxanne Williams is the Marketing Director at Full Stack Talent, a technology staffing agency in Tampa, FL. Find her LinkedIn here.