So there’s a book happening. A real one, that you can hold in your hand or throw at your significant other when they’re being insufferably obnoxious. Available in a mostly non-lethal paperback format, it is 92% guaranteed not to cause fatal injury when used in the aforementioned manner. It will arrive in the tangible human world on August 6th, 2013 and can be ordered from the following people/places/things:

(Canada) (UK)

If any of those links don’t work it’s because that retailer/publisher’s army of underpaid interns has been too busy binge drinking and/or desperately trying to pay their utility bills on grossly inadequate wages and have yet to set up a proper preorder page. I will update them as those pages become available. In the meantime, feel free to use the working links to secure yourself a copy of the feel-mediocre hit of Summer 2013, Animals Talking In All Caps (the book).

Obviously I would appreciate that since it would help me do exotic, luxurious, rich person things like “eat” and “afford a coat”, which you can read all about in my next book, tentatively titled Ha! Half A Bagel! And You Said There Was Nothing To Eat In This Dumpster! (A Working Person’s Survival Guide), available anywhere handwritten chickenscratch hastily scribbled on café napkins is sold.

August 6th, ladies and menfolk. That’s when things stop being internet and start getting real.

Thank you for all your support through this difficult transitional period. You’re not only good looking, you have a good heart.

xoxox,

Justin V.