BOWLING GREEN— After a long, relatively meaningless introduction at the unveiling of the mid-engined C8 Corvette, anonymous sources inside GM have confirmed that the mind numbing spectacle was inspired by the unimaginably massive void of outer space.

“We actually wanted to start at the invention of the wheel,” one source said.

“Due to a few scheduling issues we had to start late at night instead of early in the morning, so we had to scrap that bit.”

What lead to the Apollo program being included at all?

“The dates lined up.”

We waited longer for a more elaborate response, but none was offered.

“Buzz Aldrin offered to take a C8 out on stage and just do some donuts, but we didn’t want to risk breaking any of the cars.”

“He didn’t want to do anything else, so he just didn’t show up I guess.”