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Distinctive Assets--the, um, expensive stuff aggregator(?) that supplies gift bags for the Academy Awards nominees--has just released the complete list of treasures they’ll be giving away at this year’s Oscars. The total value is more than $125,000. Per bag. For the most famous movie stars in the world.

Here’s Variety with the deets:

In addition to the usual smorgasbord of luxury skincare products and high-end accessories associated with these annual goodie bags, this year’s giveaway includes a number of jaw-dropping highlights: a three-night stay at a resort in Tuscany valued at $1,500; a luxury train ride through the Canadian Rockies worth more than $14,500; natural French Mediterranean sea salts worth $1,500; a custom silver necklace inscribed with the latitude and longitude coordinates of the Dolby Theater from Lat & Lo at $150; a "glamping" trip valued at $12,500; a $800 gift certificate for a custom candy and dessert buffet; a $250 Haze vaporizer; a $250 Afterglow vibrator; a Wellness 360 gift pack worth $1,200; a year’s worth of all-Audi A4 car rental from Silvercar valued at $20,000; a Reset Yourself lifestyle makeover package worth more than $14,200; and so much more. The most highly valued item in this year’s bag, according to the press release from Distinctive Assets, the bag’s creator, is a $20,000 gift certificate to have Enigma Life founder Olessia Kantor fly out to meet with each nominee "to discuss their 2015 horoscope, analyze dreams and teach them mind control techniques."

"Cough, cough. No, really, congratulations. I’m really happy for you. Seriously." - homeless people

Other things you can buy with $125,000:

3.7 of Victoria Beckham’s iPhone cases

most of a gold-plated toilet

five trips between Singapore and New York on Singapore Airlines Suites Class

125 paddle boats

an entire house

50 tigers

FOOD. FUCKING FOOD. FOOD AND SHELTER FOR THE DOWNTRODDEN AND DESTITUTE. MY GOD, PEOPLE. A $20,000 HOROSCOPE. LISTEN TO YOURSELVES.