Donald Trump made the financial disclosures this week required of all presidential candidates, divulging his job titles, assets, and other information in a 92-page report. Here are some things we learned about Trump in these documents:

Forced to work 487 different jobs just to keep empire afloat



Values of Trump’s assets have risen in correlation with nation’s contempt for him



Made $1.75 million last year telling large crowds how pitiful and classless they are



Credit score a respectable 720



Trump has saved over $8 million by not bothering to come up with a different name for any of his businesses



Though Trump’s books are not the biggest moneymakers, getting a book published in this economy is a huge accomplishment in itself



Made majority of his wealth by buying up millions of ‘Forever’ stamps years ago and waiting for their value to increase



Nine months away from paying off 2012 Corolla



Trump’s personal brand of tectonic plates, currently covering one-eighth of the earth’s lithosphere, generated $400 million in revenue last quarter



Trump’s wife, Melania, currently valued at $1.2 million



Investments unfortunately too well diversified to see him suddenly bankrupted by unexpected market shift



Considers most valuable asset to be satisfaction at a life well lived

