A DJ from Cardiff, Wales, has reportedly lost the tips of four fingers on his left hand to a ceiling fan after putting his hands in the air during a set he played at a friend’s house party.

David Evans, a.k.a. DJ Evans on Earth, was rushed to St. David’s Hospital at approximately three a.m. on Saturday morning, where staff tried in vain to reattach the DJ’s missing digits.

Hospital staff claimed the young man’s fingers were “far too mangled to fix” and after three hours of surgery they decided to “chuck them in the bin and go out for a few beers”.

“It was horrible,” claimed eyewitness and fellow partygoer Delilah Jones. “One minute David was DJing and the next he was walking around picking pieces of his fingers up off the floor. It was really surreal, like something you’d see on the TV show Casualty or a train to Swansea.”

“The ceiling fan was going so fast that there was blood splattered all over the room,” continued Ms. Jones. “Some of the people at the party thought it was brilliant, I think they might have been Steve Aoki fans who associate music with being disgusted and getting covered in viscera, but I thought it was horrible and had to go home straight after it happened.”





According to friends of Mr. Evans, the young DJ was basing his performance on a recent stream of Hardwell’s set from Ultra Music Festival that he had been watching.

“David is new to DJing,” claimed house owner Alec Jenkinson. “He just got a controller at Christmas and he’s been watching videos of all his favourite DJs to see what they do. He’s a big Hardwell fan and tries to copy him all the time.”

“He’s been watching the Ultra set over and over again for the last week,” continued Jenkinson. “All he does is put his hands in the air and jump about the stage for two hours and David wanted to do something similar. He would have been alright had he kept the hands in the air and the jumping separate but as soon as he done the two together the ceiling fan ripped into his fingers like a deep house DJ rips into a bag of ketamine.”

“He was worried that he’ll never DJ again but after watching his heroes mixing at Ultra from his hospital bed he’s decided that fingers don’t really matter because none of them were live mixing anyway.”

Doctors in Cardiff are warning all would-be DJs that Hardwell is not a suitable role model, on account of his music being “shite” and his dangerous on-stage antics.