Exit poll

“The exit poll is predicting the Conservatives will be the largest party …” So far, so expected. “But no overall majority.” Jaws hit the floor across the land. A hung parliament? Really? Is it possible? We’re now familiar with surprising exit polls, but one that favours the progressives? Surely not. Anyone who’d planned to stay up for the early prediction before going to bed safe in the knowledge that the Tories would be returned with a horrifying majority was suddenly on the edge of their seats, waiting for hints from Newcastle and Sunderland for the veracity of John Curtice’s exit poll. It was going to be a long, long night.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Exit poll? Enter John Curtice. Photograph: Frank Baron/The Guardian

Philip Davies loses his seat – and then doesn’t

Election results live: senior Tories round on May's 'dreadful' campaign after heavy loss Read more

Speculation was rife that the most unpleasant of MPs had unexpectedly had his 10,000 majority overturned. A man who filibustered attempts to pass legislation to help end violence against women, a man who spoke for over an hour to prevent Caroline Lucas’s attempt to bring in compulsory sex and relationship education, the meninist representative for Shipley was no more. The Women’s Equality party brought the campaign against him to mass public attention and ran a hugely professional ground campaign encouraging residents to vote against the incumbent. But there was a sting in the tail. Some two hours later, the official result came out. Davies held on relatively comfortably, WEP had lost its deposit, and Shipley had let the nation down.

The SNP tide recedes

As Angus Robertson – the SNP’s leader in Westminster – was toppled by a Tory. The irony that Scotland could save the Conservatives bacon wasn’t lost on anyone. The high of 2015 seemed a long way away as Alex Salmond and a host of SNP members lost their seats. It seems a repudiation of Nicola Sturgeon’s push for a second referendum – yet another vote the public don’t want – and another signal that Britain has returned to the warm embrace of two party politics.

Nigel Farage declares his intention to return to frontline politics

Farage hopped from studio to studio, hailing Jeremy Corbyn’s campaigning, saying Theresa May was toast, and generally looking like a grey frog. But it was his threat/promise to begrudgingly return to frontline politics which should really worry us. Farage warned a second referendum could be on the cards, and promised to rejoin the fray to ensure there is no backtrack on Brexit. Another reason to bemoan May for this pointless election.

Jeremy Corbyn performs the worst high-five ever

Play Video 0:12 Corbyn celebrates great election night with one of worst high fives of all time - video

He might have had a better night than anyone dared dream of, but he needs to work on his high-fives. Emily Thornberry will have a sore chest tomorrow …

Bye, bye Clegg, hello Vince

Play Video 2:34 Nick Clegg loses Sheffield Hallam seat to Labour – video

It may have taken two years, but the former deputy prime minister was chucked out. The students of Sheffield Hallam got their revenge after the broken tuition fees promise of 2010, the pledge to rerun the Brexit referendum had no cut-through, and the Liberal Democrats lose another of their most assured parliamentary performers. And just as he was ejected, enter Vince Cable – surely the favourite to be the next Lib Dem leader at the ripe old age of 74 – Strictly Come Dancing will have to wait.

Ministers tumble

First was junior minister Jane Ellison, then Ben Gummer – lined up to be the next health secretary – fell soon after, followed by housing minister (and marginal campaigner par excellence) Gavin Barwell and Simon Kirby. Everyone held their breath for Amber Rudd, and it was so nearly a Portillo moment, but it wasn’t to be. Next leader of the Conservative party?

Theresa May’s “victory” speech

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Theresa May waits with other candidates for the results to be declared in Maidenhead. Photograph: Geoff Caddick/AFP/Getty Images

She may have held her own seat, but no doubt May had a catastrophic night. Stood just along from fellow candidates Lord Buckethead, Howling “Laud” Hope (Monster Raving Loony party) and someone dressed as Elmo from Sesame Street, the tremble in her voice gave away that the game was up. A period of stability was expected. The Tories would do their duty to provide it. But this ignored the fact that she was the person who wrought any instability less than two weeks out from the start of Brexit negotiations. The prime minister looks unstable just as her enemies in the party sharpen their knives.

Ukip’s race is run

Play Video 1:55 Paul Nuttall fails to win seat Boston and Skegness – video

Paul Nuttall managed just 3,308 votes in the Brexit capital of Britain. The Ukip vote collapsed across the country, going largely to the Conservatives – but May’s hard Brexit rhetoric wasn’t enough to win her the election, and it’s hard to see a future for a party who lack a purpose at a time when the two main contenders are committed to leaving the EU.

Return of the Zac

After what seemed like an interminable number of recounts, Zac Goldsmith has returned to being MP for the Conservatives. Having lost a bid to become London mayor, when he ran a campaign that was described as “racist” he resigned as an MP over the explansion of Heathrow, only to lose his seat to Liberal Democrat Sarah Olney.

He’s now ousted her, but with a slim, slim majority of 45. Expect tactical voting to get rid of him next time there’s an election. Which may be rather sooner than we expected.

Close run thing in Fife

The closest race of the night to be declared was without doubt in North East Fife, where the SNP’s Stephen Gethins held out against Liberal Democrat Elizabeth Riches by just two votes. It’s the smallest majority an MP has had since 1997, when Mark Oaten also won Winchester for the Liberal Democrats by two votes.

Just one changed mind would have led to a dead heat, unprecedented in modern times in a parliamentary election. The procedure then is, sadly, not a penalty shoot-out, but the candidates either draw straws or cut cards to see who gets to represent the constituency. This actually happened in the local elections a few weeks back.

Lots of people claimed that youth turnout was at 72%

People are sharing a figure saying that youth turnout was at 72%, which would be remarkable, and really be one-in-the-eye for media commentators who have spent weeks saying that young people are lazy and don’t vote. Except, nobody seems to be able to source the figures. The earliest tweets mentioning the number come from someone organising a youth vote campaign – but we’re not aware of anybody collecting that demographic data.

Polling companies have started yet another inquest

Going into Thursday’s vote, Survation was the only polling company whose numbers were close to the eventual vote split between Conservatives and Labour. They gave the Tories a one point lead. At the other end of the spectrum, ICM had May ahead by 12 points. It’s going to be another long night of the soul for the heads of polling companies, who will now have struggled to predict the outcomes of the 2015 general election, EU referendum, US presidential election and now this.

Interestingly enough, one company emerged with a poll saying Labour had just nudged ahead – but most commentators dismissed that.

Theresa May has indicated she has no intention of resigning.



But then again, she said she wasn’t going to call an election, either.