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One of my favorite police past times is the shaming of the Johns. Because too often we focus on shaming hookers, who more often than not are fucked up, damaged individuals, and not on the sober people who seek to pay them for the right to rent their body for 20 minutes. Here’s this week’s roundup in Main South Worcester….





Bro…..87? His last name is not deceiving – my man is a savage!! Damn Roland, glad to see you’ve still got it. At least he’s got an excuse. The pickings are slim for 80+ poontang. Can my man Roland live a little bit? He’s gonna die any minute now. And he’s got all this SSI cash he doesn’t know what to do with. Dude is trying to go out with a bang. Literally. Plus, what’s even more dangerous is the fact that he drove all this way from Oxford.

As for the rest of them, no excuse. Especially the 18 year old. Da fuq is wrong with you Efrain?

You were literally just at your prom bro!!

Sure, you’re a little short, but you’re not exactly ugly or anything. There’s plenty of 18 year old girls with loose morals out there that would provide you with great pleasure in exchange for a 30 rack of Keystones.

And what about 27 year old Jared Katthab from Leominster?

Sure, he’s kind of douchey, but he’s also young enough to know how the Internet works. Come on bro, you never heard of backpage? If I ever reached the point in my life where I felt like the only option for sex was paying for it, I’d at least do it online. Going down to the most crack infested neighborhood in Massachusetts to sample the street meat is only something you do if you’re at least 50+ and you got no wifi.

Nevertheless his spirits are high and he’s posting about the car show he’s going to in Thompson in May…..

Or what about 25 year old Dominique McClain?

Dude’s got pictures of his kid and girlfriend all over his Facebook page. And she’s a prim looking star gazer too!!

Come on mang. Who goes hunting for soiled crab cakes when they’ve got fresh lobster tail at home?

And apparently he works for Vital EMS

Worked.

Hey Dominique, if you’re looking to find some easy meat wallets in Main South and you don’t wanna spend much money, then do what everyone else does – go to the Blarney Stone for trivia night. If you can’t make it happen there you might wanna consider jumping in the men’s pond.

The only one who looked like he actually belonged at a prostitution sting was 65 year old Bruce Abrahamian who drove all the way from Watertown for his shame sandwich:

Holy shit, it’s Chazz Palminteri. He must’ve been in town to shoot his new movie – A Bronx Fail.

The bottom line is, I can’t help but feel bad for everyone here. I just can’t imagine what it’s like to reach the point in life where I’d have to sell me body to strangers for crack, or pay a crackhead $20 to enter her tampon tunnel in a Crystal Park alleyway. Stay in school, don’t do drugs, and learn to love masturbation. Great ways to stay off of Turtleboy.

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