Q: We have two boys, a 3-year-old and an 8-month-old, and it feels like since the baby was born, my husband has had a really hard time controlling his temper with our oldest when he won't cooperate. I get frustrated, too, when he's screaming and not letting us brush his teeth, or crying and demanding Mommy does something that Dad is trying to do (give him a bath, pick out socks, really anything and everything), but even though it can be really annoying and time-consuming and feels ridiculous, I try to keep it in perspective that he's just a little guy, and sometimes his feelings are bigger than his body. He's super verbal, but even so, he still doesn't have the capacity to truly communicate what he's feeling. All this to say: I see my husband getting really angry in these moments, and it worries me. More than worries; sometimes, it really upsets me. It's not helpful, and it can be scary. He's a big guy, and he's huge compared with our son, and I know he thinks he's not being rough, but boy it looks rough from the outside. The problem is talking to him about this. When I bring it up, he gets extremely hurt and says I've crossed a line by implying he's being violent. He is not intentionally hurting our son, and I don't think he even accidentally hurts him, but it's the manner of touch or the angry tone of voice or even just the contained rage that's worrisome. My husband's dad is also a big man with an explosive temper — not violent with his body, but big and loud and scary. (I know this firsthand because I've been on the receiving end of one of his towering rages.) This isn't the family dynamic that I want: angry dad, placating/nagging mom. I didn't grow up in an ideal environment (widowed dad with bipolar disorder), but at least my dad was gentle and there were never angry voices or angry touches. I think my husband and I need to get some counseling. We normally have great communication, but this is obviously a very touchy subject, and I think I'm right to be worried. Please give me some strategies here!