Michele Bachmann responds to people mocking her for mixing up serial killer John Wayne Gacy (who lived in Waterloo, Iowa) with movie star John Wayne (who didn't) during her campaign kickoff:

One thing people know about me is I’m a substantive, serious person and I have a very strong background.

I know some people are going to pooh-pooh her answer. They're going to say anytime you have to tell people you're serious, then you're in trouble. But I think that's just cynical political analysis.

I think Bachmann gave a great response. In fact, I'm proud of her. Most people wouldn't take advantage of the opportunity to tell the world that they aren't a complete joke. But Michele Bachmann didn't let the opportunity pass her by, and she deserves some credit for that.

Plus, coming from her, it's totally convincing! She is substantive, in that her public record is a mile long and chalk full of substance, much in the same sense that SPAM is also a substance.

And now she's developed what is sure to become a campaign theme. Every time the mainstream media jumps all over her for saying something controversial completely and totally false and ridiculous, she's now got a great answer. She only needs to say that she's substantive and serious! Case closed!

For example:

Bachmann can't tell John Wayne from John Wayne Gacy? [link]

It's okay. She's a substantive, serious person. It's okay. She's a substantive, serious person. Bachmann believes John Quincy Adams was a Founding Father even though he was nine when the Declaration of Independence was signed? [link]

It's okay. She's a substantive, serious person. Bachmann believes Concord and Lexinginton were battles in New Hampshire? [link]

It's okay. She's a substantive, serious person. Bachmann went to law school at Oral Roberts University? [link]

It's okay. She's a substantive, serious person. Bachmann believes evolution is a hoax and creationism should be taught in schools? [link]

It's okay. She's a substantive, serious person. Bachmann believes the minimum wage is a terrible thing? [link]

It's okay. She's a substantive, serious person. Bachmann believes that Iran is turning Iraq into a secret terror training camp? [link]

It's okay. She's a substantive, serious person. Bachmann believes teachers are indoctrinating kids to become gay? [link]

It's okay. She's a substantive, serious person. Bachmann believes Congress should have investigated whether Barack Obama is anti-American? [link]

It's okay. She's a substantive, serious person. Bachmann believes swine flu is an Obama conspiracy to take over America? [link]

It's okay. She's a substantive, serious person. Bachmann believes that the Census could be used to put Americans in concentration camps? [link]

It's okay. She's a substantive, serious person. Bachmann believes the school lunch program is unconstitutional? [link]

It's okay. She's a substantive, serious person.



It's hard to believe that someone as crazy as Michele Bachmann is seriously in contention for the Republican presidential nomination, but don't you worry: The GOP is a substantive and serious political party.