Chapter Text

I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted

I thought about our last kiss, how it felt the way you tasted

And even though your friends tell me you're doing fine

Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he's right beside you?

When he says those words that hurt you, do you read the ones I wrote you?

Sometimes I start to wonder, was it just a lie?

If what we had was real, how could you be fine?

'Cause I'm not fine at all I remember the day you told me you were leaving I remember the make-up running down your face

And the dreams you left behind you didn't need them

Like every single wish we ever made

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia

And forget about the stupid little things

Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you

And the memories I never can escape 'Cause I'm not fine at all

Driving through Glasgow was always hard. Everywhere reminded him of her, doing shots, singing karaoke, having fun, and getting drunk. She was always feisty but was extra aggressive once a few drinks were in her system. He recalled a night a few months ago where they went to a concert and she got sucked into the mosh pit and came out the other side with a bloody nose. She was fine, of course, but guy whose face she punched wasn't fine. Tears began welling up in his eyes as he drove past the park where they'd had their last kiss before she left. He could almost taste her cherry chap-stick and feel her smooth, plump lips against his own. He snapped out of it and tried to focus on the road.

When he got home he had to phone someone or he would go crazy. He decided to call Ibrahim.

"Hey, Bobby. How are you doing?" The sympathy from Rahim's voice seeped through the phone.

"I can't lie mate. Terrible. I know it's not really my place but have you heard from MC?" His voice cracked when he said her name.

"She's fine, I think. Priya said she's doing better." Hearing this made Bobby's heart drop.

"Oh. That's good I guess." He paused, "Does she mention me?"

Rahim also paused. "Bobby, haven't you heard?"

"What?"

"I don't know if I should tell you-"

"Just tell me."

He heard him take a deep breath before carrying on. "It's all over social media, she was seen with the singer of her band getting quite cozy a week or so after she left you."

Bobby may as well of exploded right there. She'd managed to blow up his life and future just to walk and get with the person who was to blame for their break up - in his eyes at least.

"Everyone on the group chat told me not to tell you. We all knew it must've been bad when you went MIA."

"It's better for me to know, I think." He was on the edge of tears but had to ask, "Did she even tell anyone the reason we broke up?"

"No, she's barely spoken to anyone since the break-up. Even Chelsea hasn't heard from her."

"Well, the main reason is because she was really close with Ryan from the band and we were both stressed about work. I barely saw her and when I did see her she seemed off, distant maybe. When I asked her about it she got all defensive and left a week later. She took all our photos and left none of her things, almost as if she didn't want the relationship to exist."

"Jesus, she was so heart broken everyone just expected that you must've done something."

"What? No. I could never hurt her. I just feel like an idiot. It's been 2 months, she won't contact me. Obviously she's moved on. Have I been really stupid?"

"No Bobs, everyone knew she was genuine in the villa. You were always the strongest couple no matter what Hope and Noah said. No one saw this coming."

There was a pause.

"Do you still love her?" Rahim said hesitantly.

"Yeah. I think I always will."

After being on the phone to Ibrahim he decided to log onto Instagram for the first time in ages and was instantly met with thousands of DM's and comments about where he was and about what had happened to MC. He looked on his feed and felt as though he'd been shot when he saw all the old selfies and photo shoots he'd taken with her. He quickly went through them and archived every single one. Then, even though it was a cruel thing to do to himself, he went onto her feed to see she'd also taken down most their photos and there was a fairly recent post of her with Ryan form the band, smiling into the camera. He realized her smile didn't quite reach her eyes, the sparkle was gone. He felt quite smug for a split second before remembering what Rahim had told him. They were together now.

Next he went onto his messages with her and saw all the texts he'd sent the day she'd left him. He sent her multiple messages apologizing and begging her to come home but never got a reply. He stopped sending them after 3 weeks, mainly because he didn't really go on his phone. He wondered if she still sometimes read them. Putting his phone aside, he climbed into bed and sniffed her old pillow that no longer smelt like her. It really was like it had never happened. Her face was slowly fogging over in his brain. Her dark brown braids embroidered with golden rings and her smooth, mocha skin was a turning into a blur. Her almost black pools of brown eyes and her cute button nose were smudges. Her lips were now a faint ghost of the past. If what they'd had in the villa was real she wouldn't be gone. Had she come in there, won with him because he was so loyal, faked the relationship for 4 months so she could take her half of the money the leave with another man? It felt so real while it happened, but it was hard to believe it was genuine. No. She wouldn't do that to him. He knew her better than that. He tried to shake the thoughts from his mind but they came flooding back.

He remembered the day she told him she was leaving, walking out the front door with a suitcase packed with all their memories. Streaks of mascara ran down her face while she tried - and failed - to explain herself. When she left a path of destruction was left behind her along with fractured dreams. They couldn't of meant much to her, but to Bobby they were everything.

He remembered the wish she'd made on the terrace and could almost faintly hear her voice saying "I wish for a kiss from Bobby." He then thought about his wish. "I wish for more moments with you." It felt stupid that he had been broadcast all over national television saying the soppiest shit and falling in love for the first time only to be broken hearted not long after. He was a mug. He would give anything to wake up with amnesia so he could forget about the stupid little things.

He remembered doing her eyeliner for the re-couplings.

He remembered her warmth when she slept beside him.

He remembered buying the ring.

He could never escape theses memories but she could. She could move back to London. She could - and she did - destroy the memories. She could get away from the places where they'd been together. She could be fine. She was fine. but he couldn't. This was his home that she'd tainted and ruined selfishly. He prayed that she had a good reason for doing what she did, although it was a long-shot.

He was exhausted. All the remembering was too much. He closed his eyes and drifted off into and uneasy sleep.