We must “resist the temptation to become numb”, the former FBI director James Comey said in an interview in this paper. He was talking about Trump’s “norm-destroying behaviours”. So how is that resistance going? Trump thrives on destroying civilised “norms”, which is why so many watch aghast and feel powerless. He violates every rule and, well, nothing much happens; it all continues. Hearing the cries of children torn away from their parents, seeing them in cages at the border – was this a turning point? On the campaign trail, he made his feelings about minority ethnic immigrants clear, to huge cheers. They were snakes and rapists. We know the language. We have heard it used about migrants here, too. Pussy-grabbing was another accepted but “norm-destroying” behaviour. Persistent lying is tolerated.

Small acts of resistance, therefore, become shards of hope. When the White House press secretary, Sarah Sanders, and her crew walked into the Red Hen restaurant in Lexington, the chef called the owner, Stephanie Wilkinson. She immediately came over, gathered the staff, asked what they thought and then asked Sanders to leave. Sanders’ job, after all, is defending the indefensible. Wilkinson is “not a huge fan of confrontation”. She wants her business to do well, but said: “This feels like a moment in our democracy when people have to make uncomfortable actions and decisions to uphold their morals.”

Exactly. Many cheered her on. Others have left terrible reviews for her restaurant. Some Beltway types have said Sanders should not be treated like this when she is off duty, banging on about civility and neutrality. That ship has sailed. This myth of neutrality has crippled the US press, which has normalised overt calls to white supremacism.

I am not surprised by what Trump does. I am horrified by the “little people” who obey his orders. History repeats itself not in grandiose narcissistic babble but through everyday collaboration in the name of “duty”. Trump did not put those kids in cages himself. Border guards did; they were recorded laughing at the children. All in a day’s work, this deliberate cruelty.

The upholding of personal morality is difficult. And this instance may be a fetishisation of heroic individualism, but Wilkinson’s actions are meaningful when the Democrats seem absent, when “due process” moves so slowly, when Trump and his lackeys seem never to face any consequences.

When he comes here for his three-day visit in July, there will be huge protests, yet he will hang out with Theresa May and the Queen and get the photo op he asked for. Our taxes will be spent on the £5m it will cost to police it. Something is very wrong here.

I imagine that, as with the trouble-free 2003 anti-Iraq war march, most of the police will be on the same side as the demonstrators. Huge amounts will be spent on counter-terrorism and special protection officers. This visit again normalises him. What would this man have to do for May to disinvite him? She is a vicar’s daughter, the Queen is the head of the Church of England. The UN has said these latest acts may amount to torture. Are they really going to welcome him? Can no one exhibit the morality of a restaurant owner?

We as individuals who continue to feel powerless will gather, knowing that not all protests “work”, but that the other options – “civility” and calls for “order” – have meant the emboldening of fascism. Trump has flourished in this fake environment of neutrality. “Washing one’s hands of the conflict between the powerful and the powerless means to side with the powerful, not to be neutral,” as the philosopher Paulo Freire said. The norms have already been destroyed. If our leaders will not take a stand, the rest of us are surely obliged to.