Sez Me …

The Padres, stuck in steerage on their own wayward ship, are embarking on the most important offseason voyage in their history.

Again.

Since they were launched in 1969, every offseason has been the most important in their history. Happens when nobody can spot the icebergs.


It’s hard to say the Pads need a culture change. How can something be changed that doesn’t exist?

Their idea of culture alteration in this century is their move into Petco Park, the downtown tourist attraction. Or going back to brown unis.

Attractions and attire cannot play.

I’ve been watching or covering the Pads for a half century, and if there have been cultures, mayflies have had longer lives.


During his five-plus years as the baseball club’s GM, A.J. Preller, The International Sensation, has attempted a sea change in organizational thinking, canvassing the Caribbean especially to find hot, young talent.

He has found some, for sure, but the lava, the result, has been cold.

He hasn’t found someone to lead this team, manage it, and share his vision — if it’s possible. He’s trying again, and my guess is, if the skipper who replaces Andy Green can’t get it done, this will be A.J.’s final cruise.

The bosses have gambled heavily on Preller’s gambling. He was hired in August 2014, and in the time since, the Pads have gone 349-461 — including four consecutive 90-loss seasons.


It always was going to take time, and I have gone along with the philosophy. But, while we keep hearing things are terrific down on the farm, it hasn’t been tastefully transferred to the adults’ table.

There has been little progress at the major league level. In some ways, things have regressed. This year? They merely led the league in strikeouts and manned the stern in batting average.

Boss Ron Fowler is readying the figurative guillotine, saying “heads will roll,” including his own, which might be less painful than watching games.

Fowler’s honesty is refreshing. He’s ticked, and should be, over how his team played over the second half (especially after losing Fernando Tatis Jr.; finished 15-28 without him).


But Fowler, general partner Peter Seidler and Preller have to get the manager thing right this time, or their vision of the contender window opening by 2020 (beyond doubtful) or ’21 (we’ll see) will be shuttered.

I have no idea who their latest manager will be, but they have to bring in a tough so-and-so who has done this before, not just a guy who interviews well. Interviews don’t manage.

They need more than a manager, but I’ll be fascinated to see just what kind of professor can turn players with low baseball IQs into geniuses. These kids are getting up here with bad habits, little discipline at the plate, and on the bases.

And I wonder how much player leadership there’s been. I still applaud the signing of Manny Machado. But Manny has to grab the maestro stick and get a symphony out of the tin ears (and not just the final day of the season).


On this choppy ocean of pessimism, I’m optimistic, for some reason, regarding the next leg of the voyage. I like the young starting pitching, the first step. But everyday prospects have to grow up.

Admiral Preller and his new captain — hell, the entire ship’s crew — have to find a way to avoid the empty-headed iceberg.

People bitch about owners not saying anything and when they do, they bitch about it. Fowler runs the joint. He has every right to pop off. …

Great reason for Pads hiring Buck Showalter: He would order the new brown unis be made of cooler cotton, not polyester (“Seinfeld,” Series 6, Episode 1). …


With that closing record, did Rod Barajas lose the Pads’ clubhouse? Clubhouses must be hard to find. …

The model baseball franchise isn’t the Yankees, Dodgers, Red Sox or Astros. It’s the Cardinals. Rock. …

Derek Carr says Vontaze Burfict is “misunderstood.” I don’t understand. …

Comedian Jason Lawhead: “If Vontaze Burfect woulda hit a woman not in pads that hard it would have been eight games (missed) tops.” Absolutely. …


I don’t know when “game manager” became a bad thing for quarterbacks. One of the best at it, Troy Aikman, won three Super Bowls. …

Percy Harvin says he loaded up on weed before every game. Pot can stay in your system for weeks. More great work by NFL narcs. …

Every time I see Rutgers in the Big Ten, I’m reminded how screwed up the college system is. …

The spineless NCAA already is backtracking on Pay to Play. Not enough power anymore to move the Power Five. …


Field event results at the World Track and Field Champions show up in meters. I am European by ancestry. We don’t do meters here. …

I saw Bob Beamon’s famous long jump in 1968 on a Mexican channel showing it live. Everybody going nuts, in Spanish. Result was in meters. Thought he must have done something good. …

Good to see LeBron involved in the Fair Pay to Play Act. Joe College. …

Stink O’ The Week Sezment: Sports Illustrated. I am saddened. …


Add Stink: Local news outlets leading sports with Rams stories. This isn’t, never will be, a Rams town anymore than a Dodgers town. Last Sunday’s TV ratings here: Rams-Bucs, 6.9; Judases-Dolphins, 15.2. What am I missing? …

Congratulations to the Ham & Egger arborists on the now-burgeoning weed forest on East Harbor Drive heading toward Naval Base San Diego. Not North India Street, but soon could be ready for camping. …

I do not want lavender scent in my toilet paper rolls. Why alter a fantastic experience? …

According to our Tom Krasovic, San Diego may be getting a team in an NFL-style development league. We’ve already been through this — except the NFL Team That Used To Be Here never developed anything — including an exit strategy. …


Not once during my matriculation at San Diego State was I able to make money out of the university’s use of my likeness, Monty Montezuma.

