Lidl is removing animal cartoons from its cereal boxes to help parents who feel pressured into buying them by children so sugar-addled and stupid they can’t read the names on the boxes and can only go “grrrr” or “ooh ooh ooh” or “quack!” to indicate which villainous boxful they want reached down from the shelf and put in their fat little hands.

Until now, Lidl has featured a lion on its Frosted Flakes, a monkey on its Choco Rice and so on, without, presumably, any legal comeback from Kellogg’s, which has featured the same animals on its own puericidal products for decades.

And Lidl has done a lot for children’s health, such as reducing the sugar content of its cereals by 20 per cent since