“It’s nothing but mutual masturbation,” expostulates Sheetal Talwar from Cannes after the ‘India Party’ on Monday night which Talwar describes in his livid condition as “frigging farce and waste of the Indian government’s precious money.”Producer Sheetal Talwar who is a regular at the annual Cannes jamboree, says this year’s report-card for Bollywood at Cannes is deplorable. “We’re a f…ng joke at Cannes. Every year we hear of this or that film going to Cannes .The fact is, hardly any Indian ever makes it into the competitive section. Even this year apart from Ashim Ahluwalia’s Miss Lovely, all the other films that you hear about being at Cannes are in non-competitive sections. You only have to go through Cannes’ official programme to realize the truth of what I am saying.”What has really and truly disgusted Talwar is the splurging at the ‘India Party’ on Monday night where all stops were pulled . Talwar thinks the India Party is a symptom of the sickness that has seeped into the Indian participation at foreign festivals, particularly Cannes. “Every year I come here and I see the Indian government’s money being wasted by the so-called Indian Pavilion. What does this Pavilion achieve every year at Cannes? According to me,zilch.Every year members of the Indian film industry travel business class to Cannes, party with one another and go back without making any difference to global cinema.”Sheetal Talwar notes there was not a single invitee from world cinema at the lavish India Party at Cannes on Monday night. “I didn’t see a single gora face. I only saw the same tired faces from Mumbai that I see every year . The NFDC funds the India Party.I believe they spend Rs 1 crore on the party alone. What does the party achieve in terms of getting us global recognition? How can we claim to crack Cannes when we can’t even get any international filmmaker or actor to attend our party out there?”Talwar wants the extavagant Bollywood entourage at Cannes to be stopped immediately. “Let’s not waste money on all-expenses-paid holidays for Bollywood at Cannes. Let NFDC use the money spent at Cannes on funding 4-5 young and bright Indian filmmakers every year.We stand to achieve more through that exercize than this useless annual Cannes orgy.”Talwar opines there are only two personalities from the Mumbai film industry who have a standing in Cannes. “One is filmmaker Sudhir Mishra and the other is producer Sunil Doshi. They genuinely care for cinema.They are devoted regulars at Cannes and respected. The rest of us—and I include myself—are only wasting our time over here at Cannes. Indian cinema is a joke at Cannes. But we don’t realize it because we’re busy having a good time at our government’s expense.We continue to praise our own cinema and feel great about making what we consider world-class cinema. But face it barring a stray Satyajit Ray or Mira Nair ,the world is not interested in our cinema.”