The Royal Wedding and the Embarrassing Worship of Wealth

Why are Americans fawning over the very Monarchy that their founding fathers fought? The glorification of this clan of royal misfits is mind-boggling. They are permitted to exist, and profit greatly, as a direct affront to democracy and equality, in return for being tabloid fodder and over-paid national mascots. They may no longer function as they once (not terribly long ago) did, like many of the other brutal, repressive, dictatorial despots calling themselves ‘royal’ that will be attending this soiree, but they aren’t much less repugnant.

Why are people already calling Catherine Middleton “Kate the Great?” What the hell has she done that could possibly warrant her being called great? She looks ‘great’ in a dress? She does a ‘great’ job standing next to Will while pouring champagne on a rubber dinghy? What about Kate the gold-digger? Or Kate the insane for going anywhere near that family? Were these alternatives even considered? Was she simply farm-raised chattel hoping to make it to the royal table?

Syria and Bahrain’s monarchs are unable to attend because they are busy doing to their people the same things that the Windsors have done to theirs in the past. Does all the gold and jewels, castles, properties, and servants, cause amnesia? These pretentious people … these self-proclaimed to be divinely ordained as monarchs and heads of the national church by birthright despots, are no better than their worst counterparts.

Adding insult to injury, the media has the gall to ‘report’ of the burdens that the royal family endures because of their privilege. It’s a wonderfully crafted, and likely quite expensive, PR campaign that can actually have members of the general public duped into feeling sorry for these profiteers. It must be tough having everything handed to you, including unimaginable wealth and vast authority over others, as your birthright. Poor things. As if the paparazzi are such a bane to their existence that it justifies their unearned economic, legal, and political privilege. If it bugs them that much, either stop with all the fanfare or abdicate. Please… abdicate.

Abdicate to the people of Britain. Keep ten percent, transfer or liquidate all assets and hand them over to the people of the United Kingdom who’ve been taxed and exploited by this family for long enough, and abdicate all political authority to the government of the people and step down as the head of the national church. Nice and simple, avoid anything like the guillotine and keep a nice little purse. End this hereditary nonsense.

How dare they wallow in public opulence while the people of Britain, the ‘real people’ of Britain, are facing massive cuts and severe austerity measures. The insensitivity alone ought to be criminal. Change ten percent to five… and just pencil that in for now.

Wealth, no matter how it is gained, even at the tip of the sword, through patricide, genocide, and tyranny, is worshiped. Like gangsters, drug-lords, and oft bankrupt real estate magnates that profit from other’s misfortune, or corporate captains that corrupt everything from our water to our political institutions, we are all too willing to ignore the sins that brought about the bounty. It’s all about the wealth no matter how it was obtained or maintained. We’ve been mesmerized by the dollars because we are lacking in sense.

Royals are nothing more than the privileged spawn of robber-barons, tyrants, usurpers, and murderous scoundrels. They are pillars of the status quo that leeches the life out of the middle-class and the hundreds of millions of starving and impoverished people around the globe. They are injustice and inequality personified, and so many will be in the same place at the same time. Forty monarchs from around the world are invited. All of these hoarders and exploiters in one place. Hopefully they bring their entire extended families with them. Westminster Abbey would be a wonderful location for a massive sinkhole to open up and then immediately close in on itself.

We must realize that we are all Princes and Princesses, not peasants to be led around by our noses, hoping to be what these ponces have convinced us they are. This planet is an equal opportunity time-share… we all share it, and only for a time, so lets make sure that everyone gets equal opportunity.

People should be ashamed. They act like little more than sycophants and slaves relegating themselves to the gutters as the wedding procession passes, splashing mud in their face, returning apathy for adoration while the throngs of self-proclaimed inferiors feel honored to have been there, to simply catch a glimpse. Trying to actually participate in the event being played out on public thoroughfares would get your non-royal ass thrown in the dungeon. Have a little self-respect.

The self-deprecating, on behalf of all the ‘non-royals’ of this world, tone of the the media coverage of this circus is disgusting. To actually promote the myth of the exceptionalism of these people, by catering to their egos and exclusivity while huddling outside like beggars in the alley, is unacceptable. Anyone going out of their way to play their role as ‘extra’ in the throng of onlookers, or wake up at odd hours to patronize a television network that is preempting important news because of this pomp and circumstance, needs to have their head examined. Their lack of self-worth, and willful acceptance and worship of masters to lord over them, is pathetic.

Wait until the old crone dies. It shouldn’t be long. The Brits will be weeping in the streets and then saddled with another bill for the privilege. And then there’s the next coronation, or two, to come. I suspect they may crown Charles, wait a couple weeks, then issue a Royal decree saying “just kidding,” and hold another posh event to elevate the more likable and marketable William, and his side-kick Kate.

It’s time to finish the job that Magna Carta started.

When the overly celebrated newlyweds visit Canada in June, hopefully they will be greeted with an appropriate measure of contempt, and an intolerance for any genuflecting from politicians and representatives. Let these opportunistic descendants of thieves sell a couple of silver spoons to pay their own expenses, including security.

I hope this wedding is a flop. I hope Kate trips on her train, William faints, Harry gets drunk, and the queen herself breaks wind during the ceremony. I hope Sam, and his wife Ella, caters the reception, and, if the massive sinkhole doesn’t happen at the church, a meteor land squarely on Buckingham Palace. Unless of course William has been planning all along to abdicate to the people… in that case, Cheers! I wish the happy couple the best.