Still working on these, so send me your suggestions!

Most likely to stab you in the back: Littlefinger

Most likely to stab you in the front: Jon Snow, Olly

Most trustworthy: Brienne of Tarth

Most entitled: Daenerys Targaryen

Most loyal: Jorah Mormont, Grey Worm

Best character arc: Theon Greyjoy — what a roller coaster of a ride

Worst character arc: Bran Stark — if I were to depict this arc, it would be that of an EKG flatlining

Best Villain: Joffrey Baratheon

Most cruel: Ramsey Bolton

The OG Mad Queen: Cersei Lannister

Most ambitious: Margaery Tyrell

Biggest gossip: Varys

Best matriarch: Olenna Tyrell

Best patriarch: Tywin Lannister

Best Mom: Cersei Lannister, Catelyn Stark

Worst Dad: Craster, Balon Greyjoy

Most tragic: Hodor

Most changed: Sansa Stark

Most questionable motives: Melisandre

Most creepy: Qyburn, Lysa Arryn

Should have been a couple: Qyburn and Lysa Arryn

Best couple: Jon Snow and Ygritte

Worst couple: Ramsey Bolton and Sansa Stark

Most committed couple: Cersei and Jaime Lannister

Least committed couple: Tyrion Lannister and Sansa Stark

Best imitation of Captain Jack Sparrow from Pirates of the Caribbean: Euron Greyjoy

Best imitation of Omar from The Wire: The Hound

Best oneliners: The Hound, Olenna Tyrell

Life of the party: Tormund Giantsbane

Most likely to cheer you up: Podrick Payne

Best beard: Drogo

Most likely to compete in a triathlon (rowing/running/smithing): Gendry Baratheon

Most likable sociopath: Arya Stark

Best Tinder profile: Gendry Baratheon

Strongest plot armor: Samwell Tarly

Mostly likely to make you go, “This fucking guy again?!”: Euron Greyjoy

Best side-eye: Sansa Stark

Most likely to climb the corporate ladder: Bronn

Most gullible: Tyrion Lannister

Best timing: Knights of the Vale in the Battle of the Bastards

Worst timing: Ned Stark’s truth-telling, Jon Snow’s truth-telling

Best protector of the realm: Varys

Best betrayal: Shae’s betrayal of Tyrion

Stupidest (and best) Lannister: Jaime

Smartest Lannister: Tywin

Best confrontation: Davos confronting Melisandre about Shireen, CleganeBowl

Best human overall: Davos Seaworth

Best hissy fit: Robin Arryn after he ruins Sansa’s Winterfell snow model

Best slap: Sansa to Robin after Robin’s hissy fit & ruining her Winterfell dollhouse, Tyrion to Joffrey in S1E2 after Joffrey says something dick-ish

Best hair and wardrobe: Daenerys Targaryen

Best braider: Missandei

Best grammar: Stannis Baratheon

Worst at zig-zagging: Rickon Stark

Best brooder: Jon Snow

Best comic relief: Tormund Giantsbane’s origin story

Best glow-up: Robin Arryn

Most likely to have read Lean In: Lyanna Mormont

Least creative baby namer: Gilly

Best voice: Beric Dondarrion

Unsung hero: Benjen Stark, Meera Reed, many ravens

Best inanimate object: Hot Pie’s wolf bread, Stannis’ war map/strategy room at Dragonstone

Worst inanimate object: Jaime’s golden hand–why didn’t he get a claw or something actually useful like Buster Bluth?

Biggest red herring: R+L=J, Night King symbols

Best fight: The Hound and Brienne, Oberyn Martell and the Mountain, Clegane Bowl

Best pet: Drogon. Yes, yes, white people, I hear you yelling about Ghost. Drogon wins for his winning Best Supporting Actor performance after Dany’s death. I also hear you weirdos insisting Drogon isn’t a pet but a child. You guys are weirdos.

Best strategy: Cersei’s false agreement to support the fight against the Night King and White Walkers

Worst strategy: the Beyond the Wall suicide mission, Battle of Winterfell defense

Best throne: Dragonstone

Best battle: Blackwater, Battle of the Bastards, Hardhome

Weakest claim to the throne: Renly Baratheon

Best claim to the throne: Stannis Baratheon, the one true king (you know before he roasted Shireen and all that)

Best candidate for Infrastructure Week: The Wall

Lender of last resort: Bronn

Lender of first resort: the Iron Bank

Most likely to default on loans: the Crown

Most likely to refi or leverage up: Lannisters

Most valuable commodity: Dragonglass, Valyrian steel

Most gruesome death: Oberyn Martell

Most comedic death: Qyburn

Most deserved death: Ramsey, Joffrey

Most perverted death: Ros, Walder Frey & Fam, Red Wedding

Most shocking death: Starks at the Red Wedding

Most tragic death: Hodor, Shireen Baratheon

Most anticlimactic death: Cersei Lannister

Most WTF death: Rhaegal

SHOW SUPERLATIVES

Best acting: Lannisters — Lena Headey, Peter Dinklage, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Charles Dance

Worst acting: until Season 8, Emilia Clarke

Best season: Season 4

Worst season: Season 8

Best memes: Season 8

Best musical cameo: The National – Rains of Castamere

Best celebrity cameo: None — these were all completely unnecessary

Best quote (short): “Let me get word to my bastard at the Dreadfort.” –Roose Bolton

Best quote (long): “Chaos isn’t a pit. Chaos is a ladder. Many who try to climb it fail and never get to try again. The fall breaks them. And some are given a chance to climb, but they refuse. They cling to the realm or the gods or love. Illusions. Only the ladder is real. The climb is all there is.” –Littlefinger