“Oh my god. Becky, look at that robot. It is so big. It looks like one of those anime guys’ robots. Who understands those Japanimation shows? They only ride around in it because it looks like a total MechWarrior. I mean, that robot—it’s just so big. I can’t believe it uses a giant sword. It’s out there. I mean, it’s grandiose. Look—it’s just so… vast.”

I like big bots and I can not lie

You haters try to vilify

But when a droid stomps by with a huge, colossal frame

And a height that puts to shame

You get flung

Sorry man, that’s tough

Mess with the mech and you get snuffed

Deep in space, its lasers flaring

I’m hooked and I can’t stop staring

Oh, robot I wanna get in ya

And crank some Enya

My fanboys tried to warn me

But that bot you got’s

So big it’s corny

Ooh, all those switches

You say my brain’s got glitches

Well trade me, upgrade me

‘Cause the Power Rangers all forbade me

I drive that golem

They act like I stole ’em

I got a sword, a hoard, now I’m rollin’ like a Megazord

I’m tired of magazines

Saying smart phones are the thing

Lose that little piece of crap and make it scrap

I’ve got a doomsday app

So nerds, (yeah), nerds, (yeah)

Is your robot’s size absurd? (hell yeah)

Well stomp it, (stomp it), stomp it, (stomp it), stomp that healthy bot

Robot’s got flak

Robot’s got flak

I like ’em big and vast

And when I’m kickin’ an ass

I just can’t help myself

I’m actin’ like Megatron

I gotta get my morph on

I wanna fly you home

And UH, morph it up UH UH

I ain’t talkin’ bout alloys

Titanium parts are made for toys

I want my shields thick and blast-proof

So weld those hulls up double

Starscream’s in trouble

Beggin’ to be better than Hubble

So I’m lookin’ at 80’s reruns

Knockin’ these guns, it’s so overdone

You can have that Voltron

I trick my ride like Decepticon

A word to the big machines

Please, by all means

Blow to smithereens

But I gotta be straight when I say

I wanna drive til the break of dawn

Robot got it goin’ on

A lot of jocks won’t get this song

‘Cause them punks like to knock it and mock it

But I’d rather stay and play

I’m withdrawn, I like Tron

And I’m down to get the morphin’ on

So ladies, (yeah), ladies, (yeah)

Would you rather own a Mercedes? (yeah)

Then turn around

Walk away

I gotta clear the landing bay

Robot’s got flak

Robot’s got flak

“Yeah baby. When it comes to weaponized automatons, Hasbro ain’t got nothin’ to do with my selection. 36-24-36? Only if you’re measuring in yards.”

So your girlfriend says you’re bored

You should grow a spinal cord

Well a Zord don’t need no reason to use its sword

This overlord don’t want none unless you’ve got Gundam

You can do back flips or judo, but please don’t lose that bot

Some brothers wanna play that hard role

And tell you that the bot is old

They refute it, pollute it

And I pull up quick to reboot it

So you say bots can’t combat?

Well I ain’t down with that

‘Cause my bot is huge and my moves are kickin’

And I’m thinkin’ ’bout trickin’

All that new age tech in the magazines

You ain’t Gold Wing 123

I’m a big shot with a robot

That turns back into a yacht

Some knucklehead tried to dis

‘Cause his bots were on my list

He had game but he chose to hide ’em

And I just want to get inside ’em

So ladies, if you like Sentai

And you wanna come and ride up high

Dial 1-900-CYBERTRON and we’ll blast off to the sky

Robot’s got flak

Robot’s got flak

Sleight in my height but I got much bot

Sleight in my height but I got much bot

¶ I Like Big Bots at SnorgTees