Phish Announces Fire Fest

photo by Peter Wallace

Following the cancellation of last year’s Curveball, Phish has finally confirmed a make-good event. However, in an attempt to exorcise any bad vibes, the band has decided to break with tradition by dropping the Ball. For this new fest, Phish will harken back to its very first performance at Nectar’s in Burlington, VT by naming the gathering after a classic Jimi Hendrix original the group performed on 12/1/84.

“We’re starting anew,” drummer Jon Fishman told Jambands.com. “So we’ve opted for a name that will avoid any negative connotations. We invite the world to join us at Fire Fest.”

In a further effort to create distance from the past, Fishman has confirmed that Fire Fest will take place at an altogether different locale. “We really wanted to make this perfect,” the drummer explains. “So when we found a list of EPA Superfun sites, we knew that was the way to go. I mean, who wouldn’t want to spend a lengthy period of a time at a Superfun site?

“We wanted to hold the event in New York, so our first choice was Love Canal. I mean come on, think of the joy that would emanate just from the inevitable Touchpants reunion. Unfortunately, as it turns out, Love Canal hasn’t been Superfun since 2004. Thankfully, though, we’re headed to Upton, NY where Fire Fest will take place at the Brookhaven National Laboratory site.”

New York based concert maven Jeffrey Bruce Atkins is rumored to be advising the Fire Fest team. As of press time, thousands of Instagram influencers are frantically Googling the attractions of the Brookhaven National Laboratory in order to prepare the best selfie.