In his first televised interview after the election, President-elect Donald Trump told 60 Minutes reporter Lesley Stahl about his plans for appointing Supreme Court justices who are opposed to abortion. “Well, there are a couple of things,” he explained. “They’ll be pro-life,” he said, before launching into an aside about the Second Amendment. “But having to do with abortion if it ever were overturned, it would go back to the states.” Stahl rightfully pointed out that some people would not be able to get an abortion because states may outlaw it. Visibly shrugging off Stahl’s question, Trump replied, “Well, um, perhaps they’ll have to go to another state.” Stahl asked if that was OK with him, and he replied, “Well, we’ll see what happens. It’s got a long way to go, just so you understand. That has a long, long way to go.”

In the same interview, he stated that marriage equality was “settled law” and he wouldn’t try to overturn it. So why is the settled law of abortion’s legality up for grabs? Because misogyny and patriarchy are running our nation.

The distant future President-elect Trump describes has been a reality for years in states that already restrict abortion access. I know because I had to fly from my home in Texas all the way to California to get an abortion. Trump has been laying out his grand plans for a long time, and while some aren’t taking him at his word, I am. As a queer Jewish Latina, I am frightened that Trump has named Steve Bannon, an avowed anti-Semite and misogynist, to his senior leadership team, and renewed his promise to deport undocumented immigrants. He is showing us who he will be as president.

I was 30 when I discovered that my IUD, the most effective form of birth control, failed and I was pregnant. Living on my own for the first time in nearly a decade after my divorce, I had spent the last few years barely scraping by, trying to find my footing on a salary that offered no benefits and barely covered my rent. I was beginning to feel like I was financially stable. But then I started feeling exhausted all the time. What I thought was the stomach flu turned out to be two pink lines on a home pregnancy test. After the doctor confirmed I was in fact about twelve and a half weeks along I immediately attempted to schedule an appointment at my local abortion clinic.

Unfortunately, my home of Texas has seen more than half of their clinics close due to the passage of the now unconstitutional HB 2, a law designed to shut down clinics. Even though I lived in Dallas, where clinic closures had yet to happen, the influx of patients from all over the state meant that it was a two-and-a-half week wait to schedule the first of my two state-mandated appointments. Studies have shown that this is now pretty common. I had already taken quite a few days off, unpaid, fighting my “stomach flu,” and my manager had said that one more day out could cost me my job. I worried what would happen if I couldn’t make it to both appointments and how close to the 20-week ban cutoff I would be if I had to reschedule. Having to work through another three weeks of pregnancy was unbearable, but I had no sick days to rest. I thought about every single scenario that would prevent me from having the abortion I knew was right for me and I panicked.