If you ever attended a Recovery program or participated in any type of AA, you are familiar with the term Dry Drunk. A dry drunk is a person who although is sober, and going through the motions of sobriety, never gets past the anger stage and feels resentment. In their mind, they want their life back and the benefits that came with the addiction. Perhaps it was the inhibition, being invited to all the parties or just the escape from reality. They don’t return to the addiction due to issues that have arose as a result, such as loss of a job, divorce, legal issues or even incarceration. They are not satisfied with the change, but also realize returning to the addiction is not an option. They may even recognize the negative effects the addiction has had, which prevents relapse, but they long for the effects the alcohol itself had on them. Therefore, they live with resentment toward the change. This concept got me thinking about my walk with Christ.

For a few months now, I have struggled with feeling unsatisfied and a lack of intimacy in my relationship with Christ. I wasn’t sure where it was coming from. I continued to attend church, tithe, read the Word, pray…but something was missing. During my prayer time, the term, “dry drunk” popped in my head. As a therapist, I was familiar with the concept however, I decided to gather more information. I found an article on About.com on the subject and this quote stood out to me. “Dry Drunk” has been described as “A condition of returning to one’s old alcoholic thinking or behaviors without actually having taken a drink.” I thought about how as Christians we sometimes struggle with feeling like we give up so much to follow Christ, or that there seems to always be a period of waiting before the good things come. This can lead to regretting our decision to follow Christ or even resentment for it. You may say, “Well why not just backslide?” Well as Dry Drunks don’t usually return to drinking because of the trouble they were in as a result; perhaps we know that our life before Christ really wasn’t as satisfying and we don’t really want that former life. We just want the part that felt good. As Christians, the more time spent in the Word, we are able to transform our thinking to adopt the mind of Christ. A Dry Drunk Christian finds themselves returning to old patterns of thinking such as fear, doubt, worry, disbelief or resistance to change. The key component is it is in our mind. Our actions are right but our thoughts are not. A dry drunk doesn’t return to drinking just as a dry drunk Christian doesn’t return to old pre-salvation behaviors. It’s going back to our un-renewed thinking.

While continuing to read up on this subject, I found an AA website that listed characteristics of a “Dry Drunk.”

Grandiosity or an exaggeration of one’s importance. It is a self-centered mentality, making ourselves the center of attention whether in a positive high regard, or the lowly victim. Judgmental or seeing things as either “good” or “bad,” no room or acceptance of gray areas. Intolerance, which makes it very difficult to delay gratification. This results in chasing after what feels good as opposed to what we need. Impulsivity, when we can not delay gratification we will make impulsive, often irrational, decisions to meet our immediate needs. Indecisiveness is a result of becoming pre-occupied with the negative results of a decision, to the point that no decision or action is taken.

While these characteristics seem harsh, when looking at our own walk with Christ, I personally recognize how some of these concepts easily creep into the mind and hearts of us as Christians. As I experienced, and as God was pointing out to me, we can go through the motions of Christianity, we can perform and do all the outward acts that appear righteous, but where is our heart? Do we have grandiose or judgmental attitudes, have we become intolerant and unable to walk by faith because we expected God to move yesterday? Are we reacting impulsively because we want our inheritance and reward now? Do we put off doing the commands God has given us, because we feel indecisive and are chasing after what feels good right now? Our Christian walk requires commitment, commitment to live by faith, pursue the things of God and make what’s important to Him, important to us. Sometimes, its not about us, in fact the whole identity of Christ was serving others. We fail when we began to place our own demands and expectations for our lives on God. At that point we lose focus of our purpose to serve, love and grow. God needs us, there is no disputing that however, our hearts must remain right for us to be used and elevated to the next level. To maintain our intimacy with the Father and develop a sense of satisfaction, we must accept His righteousness, maintain a heart to serve and expect God to do great things through us. We know God prospers, we know God heals, we know God vindicates but don’t forget the reason, HIS GLORY! Our minds must be renewed day by day. We are asked to meditate on His word day and night. This is so our minds and hearts can remain in the right place and God can be honored through our actions and speech. It has been said, if you want to feel happy, serve others. Dry drunk Christianity leads to unhappiness and dissatisfaction because it takes away our desire to serve and has us chasing after instant gratification. We must make a choice to maintain our renewed minds, pursuing and being about our Father’s business.

Again, thank you for reading. Remember you are loved, valued and highly esteemed. God bless.