I hereby nominate myself to be the Yankee captain. If nobody feels up to it—if they really can’t find somebody—I’ll take the gig.

Hang with me here. I know I am not Major League Baseball material. It’s been at least a decade and a half since I’ve faced live pitching. When I went to the Chelsea Piers batting cages not long ago, I think I hit two foul tips and made a couple of sixth-graders giggle. I’ve played only one game of company softball. After my first game, the company stopped calling.

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