Although I’m already, uh, ready to declare At the Gates’ At War with Reality my favorite metal album of 2014 (read my review here), I admit that there could be some totally-out-of-left-field shocker that usurps it between now and December. I mean, that seems unlikely, ’cause in my privileged position as a member of the heavy metal media, I’ve already heard pretty much every major release coming out this calendar year… but it could happen.

And Attila seem to think that they might be worth candidates for such a coup: the band’s have announced that their latest offering, Guilty Pleasure, will be released on November 24, and will be “the best album of 2014.” And it actually IS one of the only big ’14 releases that has yet to grace my ear holes.

I still have no idea when the band’s label, Razor & Tie, will send me the promo, but, PRAISE THE LAWD!, Attila have released samples from the entire album via their Instagram account, so we can get some sense of how seriously to take their boastful claim. Listen to and analyze these samples with me now, won’t you?

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WOW! Incredible! This sounds like nothing I’ve ever heard before! Where do you think they got the idea to tune down their guitars and play in that chugga-chug style? After hearing just one sample of one song, it already seems clear that Guilty Pleasure is gonna reinvent rock guitar more than single release since the first Van Halen album.

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WOW! Incredible! I’m told this is a completely different song from the other one!

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WOW! Incredible! I really thought I had embedded the same song three times in a row now, but apparently these are three separate songs! I wonder if Guilty Pleasure is going to be more akin to a symphony with movements than a traditional metal album? That would certainly explain why each of these samples sounds so similar (but still totally revolutionary and brilliant!).

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I actually find this sample to be a tad disappointing. The band is clearly reinventing the wheel with the rest of the album — why rely on a trope as tired as a guitar solo here?

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WOW! Incredible! I didn’t even know you were allowed to swear in music, did you?

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WOW! Incredible! Not only is Fozzy’s melodious delivery completely hypnotic, but his lyrics, as usual, cut right to heart of me. I WAS born to suck his dick! Slurpslurpslurpslurpchokeslurp

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Another guitar solo? Borrrrrring. At least that there’s that wicked bass drop to suggest the song won’t be a COMPLETE waste of our time.

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WOW! Incredible! “Fuck the System”… man… how do these dudes even come up with this shit? And is Razor & Tie seriously planning to release this? Aren’t they at all afraid that it could actually start a revolution resulting in our government being overturned and Fozzy being named Grand Supreme Leader for life? I mean, I would be totally okay with that — clearly, the world would be a better place with that dude in charge of everything — but I can practically hear Obama and Huckabee peeing themselves from here. Attila may very well succeed where Marx and Lenin failed.

Conclusion: Guilty Pleasure really MIGHT be the best album of 2014. It seems poised to completely reinvent not just metal, and not just rock music, but SOUND ITSELF. I. Cannot. Wait.

[via Metal Underground and Lambgoat]