hmga90 Wed 19-Jun-19 23:57:38

Me and ex broke up several weeks ago. I was devastated, and now that I’ve seen him, realised I still am. We were together 4 years, lived together for 2.



After our split he allowed me to stay in his flat assuming I paid the rent. 3 weeks ago he contacted me through his sister (who I am good friends with) saying he couldn’t cope living at home and wanted the flat back but would give me as much time as I needed to move out. Fair enough I thought and moved out within ten days.



So here it comes: we were going through a really bad patch 2 years ago and I ended up cheating on him after a drunken night out in town. Immediately regretted it and went home and told him the truth. We didn’t split up, but I worked as hard as I could to get his trust back.



I had to go to his flat today as I realised I hadn’t changed my shipping address on my Amazon account- his sister is on holiday and it’s a present for a friends birthday tomorrow so had to go today.



Messaged him on Facebook (deleted his number) and he told me to come round this afternoon and did I have five minutes for a chat?



Ended up spending nearly 6 hours there. It has come out he cheated on me twice- but not just that, the girl is pregnant. He insists he’s heartbroken without me and I do genuinely believe that. He wants to get back together



I’m in a dilemma here- on one hand I feel I should forgive him because I did it to him and he forgave me but on the other does it make it twice as bad a) because he knows how it feels and b) there is a baby involved.



It gets stickier- the girl he has got pregnant is a known drug addict, heavy drinker and a general psychopath so post DNA ex has said he will be fighting for custody- and I don’t know if I could get dragged into a drama with this girl who a friend has told me “will fucking kill me” if she finds out me and ex have got back together because she has it set in her mind that they are together despite ex insisting they are not and even having to call the police on her because she keeps turning up at his work (fortunately doesn’t know where he is lives and it’s a gated block of flats and ex knows the majority of the neighbours who will never let her near him or me fortunately)



I have no idea what to do. I still love him so very much but I don’t deal with stress well.