Contents - Introduction. Book? What Book?; 1. How Weird Am I, Anyway?; 2. There Goes the Neighborhood; 3. An Alternative to College; 4. Are We Having a Good Time Yet?; 5. The Log Cabin; 6. Send In the Clowns; 7. Drool, Britannia; 8. All About Music; 9. A Chapter for My Dad; 10. The One You've Been Waiting For; 11. Sticks & Stones; 12. America Drinks and Goes Marching; 13. All About Schmucks; 14. Marriage (as a Dada Concept); 15. 'Porn Wars'; 16. Church and State; 17. Practical Conservatism; 18. Failure; 19. The Last Word.