Significant Others at the Table

Filed under “Problems that used to really concern me but I haven’t thought about in years” is the issue of bringing girlfriends/boyfriends along to gaming.

Back in the 90s (when I was in my late teens and early 20s), this was constantly an issue. As I never had a girlfriend who wanted to see what gaming was all about, it was really tempting for me to take the stance of “S.O.s not welcome.” But I didn’t because, truth be told, some of my favorite people to game with I met because their S.O. introduced them to gaming. Still, for every success story I have seen, I have seen many more horror stories.

The one I saw most often was the S.O. who didn’t have any interest in gaming, but insisted on coming along because if she didn’t, it would mean that she wouldn’t get to see her beau on game night. The presence of such a person at a game table was like a wet blanket. She wrecked the atmosphere through her disinterest. She wrecked the atmosphere by distracting the player who brought her to the game. But most of all she wrecked the atmosphere through the ensuing conflict over how to deal with her.

An even worse case, that I have never seen myself, but have been aware of happening is when the S.O. truely invests herself in gaming, but then, after being fully integrated into the group has an ugly breakup with the player who brought her. Now both want to keep playing, but not with each other.

Now I don’t know how much of all that had anything to do with gaming, or how much of it was just about being young. Its been a dozen years since I have seen any issues of this nature, and in that same time I have seen a number of spouses play, and have been pretty open with all my current players about saying they can invite S.O.s if they wish.

Still, its interesting to reminisce, and I can’t help but wonder if there will be any parrallels when inviting our children to the group becomes a possibility.

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