Large sections of the Congress are coming around to the view that if Priyanka Gandhi doesn’t take charge of the party and save it from imminent disintegration, the next best thing would be hand over the reins to her close look-alike and latest Bollywood star kid, Tiger Shroff.

“Ever since the Priyanka Gandhi-Tiger Shroff #sameguy pics started going viral on the social media, Tiger’s popularity and acceptability among the Congress rank and file has grown by leaps and bounds. our best hope in preventing the party from splintering is to anoint Tiger as the Congress Vice President,” a senior Congress leader and former Rahul advisor told The UnReal Times.

“Tiger’s the genuine article as far as we are concerned. Truth be told, many Congressmen were a bit uncomfortable with Priyanka’s tomboyish demeanour and Tiger is definitely more charming and feminine. What’s more, he’s not married to any sleazy businessman and that’s an added bonus. Moreover, his name is also very secular sounding and should appeal to all sections of society,” the Congress leader added.

The Congress High Command has already sounded out Jackie Shroff about Tiger’s elevation as the Congress Vice President reporting into Sonia Gandhi. Jackie was ecstatic. “Really proud of Tiger. I was a bit down and worried about his Bollywood career after those mean jokes about his unconventional looks flooded the social media but now Tiger has cocked a thumb at his critics by bagging the biggest role of his career as a Nehru-Gandhi bahu. Take that, you losers!” Jackie raved, eyes welling with tears.

Tiger also is kicked about his new career. “I’ve been told that I just need to wave my hands, smile and occasionally kiss babies. And they are pretty lax about the dress code too: a chic look in the form of denims and a tight T-shirt should do since Priyankaji also frequently appears in such accessories. However, in some rural conservative pockets, I might have to cover my head with a dupatta,” the Heropanti star revealed with a twinkle in his eye.

Political parties have reacted with caution to Tiger’s advent on the political scene. “Of course, Tigerji is a substitute, and a very pretty one if I may add, to Priyankaji,” AAP’s Yogendra Yadav pointed out in a measured and dignified tone, “but I must stress that Arvind is not a substitute but a genuine alternative to the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty.”

Congress has initiated the process for Tiger’s anointment but that will have to wait until his application for change of name is sanctified. “Of course, he’ll have to rename himself as Tiger Gandhi. We are absolutely clear that only a Gandhi can lead the party. That’s one principle on which we’ll never compromise,” a veteran Congress leader disclosed.