We are now firmly ensconced in Britain’s grey season. From Edinburgh to Exeter, there are quiet cries of desperation around the dinner table (well, at least for families that still dine together): “Perhaps we should emigrate.”

Australians report a higher level of life satisfaction than Britons. Their annual salaries are, on average, £6,000 higher than in Britain. But is the United Kingdom really that bad? Are the Aussies just putting a sunshine spin on the daily grind?

Are a few dark months worth abandoning this green and pleasant land for?

You're thinking of emigrating? But why? Credit: Jonathan Brady

And where is an English-speaking person to move? Is Australia the only realistic option? With America in turmoil post-Trump, and Brexit rendering Britons personae non gratae across the Continent, let’s consider the relative merits of Britain, Australia, New Zealand, Canada, and the United Arab Emirates.

Helpfully, researchers for The Emigration Group have compared figures in employment, housing, health care, cost of living, crime and the amorphous but important “lifestyle” sector to help you determine whether your family should consider moving.

You already know Britain. But first, let’s see what Telegraph Travel's experts say about your possible new homes:

Australia

Australia's major draws are undoubtedly its extraordinary scenery and exotic wildlife - kangaroos, koalas, wallabies and wombats remain the country's ambassador. But behind this cuddly image, Australia is also a dynamic modern nation which constantly seeks to re-invent itself in the fields of gastronomy, architecture, literature, film and the performing arts. Cities like Sydney, Melbourne, Adelaide, Brisbane and Perth are now regarded as some of the most desirable places to live on the planet.

Mark Chipperfield

Is it time to move Down Under? Credit: Greg Brave

New Zealand

New Zealand is a remote and geologically dynamic country with diverse, often unique landscapes and wildlife. It offers outdoor adventure galore, spliced with vibrant cultural and culinary experiences, enhanced by a welcoming attitude to visitors. The "Land of the Long White Cloud" has long been popular among Telegraph readers. In fact, for the past three years it has been voted readers' favourite long-haul destination in the annual Telegraph Travel Awards.

Sarah Bennett

New Zealand is waiting Credit: shirophoto - Fotolia

Canada

When most people think of Canada, they think immediately of scenery - the mountain, forest and lake ensemble typified by the Rockies. And yes, there's an awful lot of scenery in the world's second-largest country, from the Inuit lands of the tundra and frozen north to the endless forests and peaks - many still unnamed - of the Yukon or British Columbia. It's hard to overstate the number and variety of outdoor options available - hiking, canoeing, biking, rafting, golf, fishing, skiing and much more. And the excitement's not just in the main centres: every backwoods village in Canada has something to offer.

Tim Jepson, Paul Wade and Kathy Arnold

Would you consider Canada? Credit: Marius M. Grecu - Fotolia/Marius M. Grecu

United Arab Emirates

For all Dubai’s futuristic appeal and abundance of western entertainments – a sleek metro that zips through the sky like something out of Blade Runner, sumptuous shopping malls, an indoor ski park, and countless bars – there is just as much fun to be had in the simple pleasures of “the Orient”: haggling for gold and frankincense in the bustling souqs, savouring the sunset from the back of a camel, inhaling from a fragrant sheesha pipe on the fairly-lit deck of an old wooden dhow. Perhaps there is, after all, some truth to be found in the clichés…

Lara Dunston

Or is the UAE for you? Credit: © Newzulu / Alamy Stock Photo/Newzulu / Alamy Stock Photo

Now, let’s look at the numbers

Money

If you want to earn money, Britain may not the best place to live; in fact, you’d do better in any of these countries, judging from average salaries.

If you’re looking at the lower end of the job market, minimum wage in the UK is £7.20; in Australia, it’s the equivalent of £10.73; in New Zealand it’s £9.01; in Canada it’s £6.98; and in the UAE, it doesn’t exist.

Looking at specific careers, British social workers earn, on average, just two-thirds of what their counterparts in New Zealand do (£23,000 vs £36,632). Quantity surveyors with at least five years’ experience earn on average £31,000 in Britain; they’d be wise to consider Australia, where their average salary would nearly double, to £52,738.

British teachers with five years’ experience (and an average salary of £31,000) have no compelling financial impetus to move: they are paid, on average, a similar amount in Australia, New Zealand and Canada, and slightly less in the UAE. But plumbers might consider a move to New Zealand, where they can earn nearly 33 per cent more than their average UK salary of £29,000.

Where shall I move? Let's call this a win for UAE, with caveats for specific careers.

Property

If an Englishman’s home is his castle, the cheapest way to acquire one isn’t in Blighty: it’s in the UAE. While the national average house price last spring in Britain hovered at around £284,000, and wasn’t too far off that in Australia or New Zealand or Canada, in the UAE, you can buy a house for, on average, £178,568. It should be noted that regions - including Britain’s North-East (£158,000) or New Brunswick, in Canada (£99,618), offer particularly low house prices, if you can find local work.

But the rental market looks quite different: average monthly rents in the UAE are £3010 in the city centre, vs £760 in the UK.

Note, too, that the cost of basic amenities - electricity, heating, water - varies dramatically between the countries in question: monthly costs in Britain are set at about £143; in Canada, despite colder weather, you’ll pay, on average, just £83.

And for British families living in areas of poor Wi-Fi, this should make you laugh: the one area in which Britain clearly wins in the moneysaving stakes is the cost of internet services - the UK charges half what you’ll pay in Australia, and just over a quarter of what the same service will cost in the UAE.

Where shall I move? With the lowest rents and relatively low house prices, New Zealand wins in this category.

New Zealand is beautiful - and property prices are low Credit: © DPK-Photo / Alamy Stock Photo/DPK-Photo / Alamy Stock Photo

Health

New Zealand wins in the health stakes: it ranks number four in the World Healthcare Index Ranking, while Britain comes in at 14th, just behind Australia (12th), but well ahead of Canada (31st) and the UAE (56th). Where Britain nearly tops the tables is in the obesity index: just under a quarter (23 per cent) of Britain’s population is obese, just ahead of Australia (21 per cent) and New Zealand (20 per cent), and well ahead of the UAE (13 per cent). But the Canadians beat everyone, with nearly a third of the population classified as obese (29 per cent).

Where shall I move? New Zealand, clearly.



Quality of life

While the 2,000 people surveyed in each country reported similar levels of satisfaction in their lives, the World Happiness Index, which ranks 156 countries by their happiness levels based on surveys of a larger sample group in each country than the Emigration Group figures, tells a different story:

Where shall I move? Start embroidering a maple leaf on your rucksack now.

Safety

One place Britain comes out on top is in the sense of security residents feel: in a survey of 2,000 people from the UK and 2,000 people from Australia, British citizens reported feeling safer than their Australian counterparts did. This isn’t based on a well-concealed British optimism, however; Australia’s murder rate is far higher than Britain’s (0.8 per 100,000 inhabitants vs 0.2 per 100,000). Both countries have lower murder rates than New Zealand (1.2 per 100,000), Canada (1.5 per 100,000) and the United Arab Emirates (2.6 per 100,000).

Britain has an exceptionally low murder rate Credit: johnkellerman/johnkellerman

But before we give this win to Britain, it’s relevant to note that the UK assault rate is the highest of the countries under consideration: 2.8 per cent of Britain’s population has been the victim of assault, compared with 2.4 per cent of Australians and New Zealanders, and 2.3 per cent of Canadians. No statistics are available for UAE, but its residents report the highest sense of safety in the survey: 90 per cent of respondents reported feeling safe walking alone during the daytime, and just over four in five people said they felt safe walking alone at night.

Where shall I move? Australia has a marginal advantage, but this category is inconclusive thanks to fairly similar rates.

Conclusion

If you are a skinny and otherwise healthy quantity surveyor, you'd be mad not to move to Australia.