Imagine having glacier water piped into your house for not only your drinking water needs, but for bathing as well. Pristine water that comes from melting glaciers in British Columbia is now being sold as “Glacier Bathâ„¢” and offered as “The Perfect Balance Between Luxury and Health” by a company called Luxury Water Utilities. Believe it or not, as they say.

“Locked in an icy vault for over 10,000 years, in the sub-Arctic ranges in beautiful British Columbia, Canada, and carefully retrieved from the rapid descending flow of melted glacier ice, this pure protected under-melt is the most natural ancient source of water in the world.”

According to the company’s press release, Glacier Bathâ„¢ is for “luxury connoisseurs” and “the sophisticated consumer” who wish to choose their own water source for their “primary hydration needs.” They also state that glacier water is superior to common water sources, due to not being filtered through the ground, which may allow the water to pick up organic particles and pollutants.

While all of the information may be true of glacier water, the average citizen in the U.S. is not going to be able to choose anything other than municipal tap water, and for the majority of the world’s population, gaining access to any sort of clean, potable water is a huge issue. Glaciers are the source of water for many communities, especially in the western U.S., but I don’t think you’ll see these claims on any municipal water supplies.

For this company to claim that Glacier Bathâ„¢ is “an environmentally friendly hydration service” in any sense other than letting the end consumer bathe in and drink pure water seems to be stretching the definition of “environmentally friendly.” One has to wonder how much energy is consumed in the process of collecting and transporting this glacier water from British Columbia to the end user.

Thirsty in Suburbia also took issue with the company’s claims:

“â€¦Luxury Water Utilities, LLC, a California-based sustainable water resources service companyâ€¦”

When life hands you climate change, make glacier-ade! “â€¦Glacier Bathâ„¢ system â€” an environmentally friendly hydration serviceâ€¦”

I think they mean â€œfriendlyâ€ in the Facebook sense. “â€¦premium glacier water. Locked in an icy vault for over 10,000 yearsâ€¦”

Hello, do you have Sir Glacier in a can? Well let him out!!! “Glacier water is superior to common water sources, because it is not filtered through the ground where a variety of dissolved solids and organic particles such as rocks, sand, metals, chemicals and underground pollutants can attach to each water molecule.”

Iâ€™m trying to imagine a rock attached to a molecule. “â€¦fine waters from rare water sources from around the world that are guaranteed 100% natural in compositionâ€¦”

That is, guaranteed to be two parts hydrogen and one part oxygen. “Fine Water Imports Inc., headquartered in Las Vegas, Nevada,”

I should have guessed! Itâ€™s the global center of water sustainability!

If you should you be in the market for “luxury water”, here’s hoping that you’ll read between the lines of the marketing materials!