I’m sure ya’ll are waiting on the Hue Gets Fired comic but this week has been a hectic mess and I had to go to my backup idea. Hue will get fired on Monday or maybe over the weekend. Lets talk bout the Bills. Again. Weekly Bills comics from here on out. The Bills Play, a football comic by David Rappoccio.

I sincerely hope throwing dildos on the field becomes a tradition in Buffalo. Forget the tables and the property damage. More dildos. I want to see all the dildos. Big dildos. Small dildos. Pink Dildos. Blue Dildos. Green Eggs and Ham Dildos. Realistic dildos and goofy nonsense dildos. I want to see a vibrator wiggle it’s way through the endzone. I choose to write that sentence, and I’m sticking by it.

Buffalo’s Mascot, Billy Buffalo, is one of the least interesting mascots in the league. He’s pretty generic looking. He doesn’t have the gonzo fun of Jaxson De Ville or the utter creep factor of Pat Patriot. He’s just pretty much exactly what you’d expect out of a blue buffalo. Hes probably fit as a generic mascot in a commercial or TV show.

Honestly the Bills should make him more fun. Get Billy out there smashing tables during timeouts. Set him on fire. Make him a Bills fan. Give him a mafia outfit. Or just do the right thing and make the mascot a giant dildo because this is what the Bills deserve. Either they get boned, or they are the boners. Also just imagine how great it would be to see a grown man dressed as a comically large penis jump through a table. Make it happen. Sports mascots are usually boring or creepy boring, but they don’t have to be.

For as much as I despise Philadelphia, they get mascots right. The Phillie Phanatic is amazing. We need more Phanatics. He’s like a minor league mascot that made it to the show. He doesn’t make sense. What is he? Fuzzy green birdo? Who cares, that’s part of the fun! More Phanatics. Better yet, more GRITTY. Gritty is the greatest mascot to ever exist and I love him. I want an entire league of indescribable monster mascots. Hell I’d take an entire league of different colored Grittys.

Of course the Eagles mascot is generic and boring. of course it is.

Save us, Gritty.