CLEVELAND, Ohio -- Who's on first .... string quarterback duty in the Cleveland Browns-Buffalo Bills preseason game Friday night?



Tyrod Taylor.

Tyrod Taylor, the Bills' playoff quarterback?

No Tyrod Taylor, the Browns' starting quarterback.

Didn't he lead the Bills to the playoffs last year?

He did.

So why is he a Brown? The Bills didn't want a playoff quarterback?

Right.

Why?

Because they wanted to be the Browns.

Another team wanted to be the Browns? The 1-31 Browns?

Yep.

How can you possibly say that?

Because the Bills traded away an All-Pro defensive tackle for a sixth-round pick in the middle of last season, and this offseason traded a playoff quarterback for a third-round pick and their starting left tackle to move up in the first round.

The Bills were held up by some last season as an example of a team that the Browns should emulate, that the Browns didn't need to tank to get better. Look at Buffalo! Then the Bills shocked everyone with a 9-7 record and a playoff spot - and then decided to be more like the Browns and tear it down.

So they traded a couple veterans. Who cares? That doesn't mean they're really like the Browns, does it?

They drafted a big-armed rookie with consistency issues but intriguing upside and they might start him week one.

Like the Browns did with DeShone Kizer last year?

Yep. Josh Allen is this year's Kizer.

And he could have been a Brown?

Sure seemed like it was possible the Browns might draft him at No. 1. Would have been scary.

So the Bills dumped Taylor, their competent veteran, on the Browns, and traded up twice to draft Allen, the big-armed rookie, who's like the Browns quarterback last year. Does Buffalo have any other quarterbacks?

Sure. Hue Jackson will hug one Friday night.

AJ McCarron is a Bill?

You got it.

What did Buffalo have to give up to get him? Probably a steep price. Jackson and the Browns were willing to trade a second- and third-round pick last year to Cincinnati to get McCarron. What did it cost Buffalo?

Nothing.

What?

He won a grievance after the season that made him a free agent, which the Browns knew was possible when they tried to trade for him. Then he signed a two-year deal for $10 million in Buffalo after all the other free agent quarterbacks had been taken by other teams.

So the Browns tried to trade a second and a third for McCarron, who in four years in the NFL is 2-1 as a starter, and then got Taylor, who is 22-20 as a starter, for just a third?

Crazy, huh?

McCarron is still a young up-and-comer, though, right?

He'll be 28 in a month. Taylor just turned 29. Taylor's only 13 months older.

McCarron's probably a hidden gem, though. He's been dying for a chance to start, and he's got just a rookie to fight in Buffalo. Anyone else in the quarterback competition?

Nathan Peterman, third string.

Peter who?

Peterman. The Bills benched Taylor for a game last year to start Peterman, and he threw five interceptions.

So that's the three-man battle? Allen, McCarron, Peterman? Who's winning?

All of them. None of them. They've rotated with the first team. McCarron might be ahead, for now. But it's not like he's dominating the competition. In fact, everyone in Buffalo seems confused. If McCarron was a gem, Buffalo would have seen it by now. So who knows?

By the way, who are the Bills quarterbacks throwing to?

Corey Coleman, the former Brown.

After two years in Cleveland with Robert Griffin III, Cody Kessler and DeShone Kizer, is it OK to feel a little bad for Coleman, who now is dealing with these Buffalo quarterbacks?

Yes. A little.

So why would the Browns want to be like the Bills?

They want to be more like the 2017 Bills, who surprised everyone with that playoff run. So they added Taylor, who proved he's a playoff QB, but probably isn't a Super Bowl QB.

But he got Buffalo to the playoffs for the first time since 1999. Browns fans would probably take that, right?

Oh yeah.

But Buffalo wanted something more?

Yes. They shot for the moon with Allen.

And the Browns are tired of shooting for the moon and crashing?

Of course. So Taylor fills the solid veteran role. And No. 1 pick Baker Mayfield is more like Taylor than he is like Allen. Mayfield has more upside than Taylor, but he's not as risky as Allen. Mayfield showed exactly what the Browns were hoping for in the preseason opener, as did Taylor.

So whose quarterback room would you rather have?

Cleveland's, and it's not close. Buffalo had Taylor last year, but no young talent behind him. So they force-fed Peterman, a rookie fifth-round pick, for a game. Blew up. Now they have Allen, who is better than Peterman, and McCarron, who is no Taylor.

So the Browns really dodged a bullet, didn't they?

There's an alternative reality out there where the Browns' two quarterbacks right now are McCarron, re-signed after the Browns wasted two high picks on him last year, and Allen, an unnecessary risk at No. 1

Yikes. Taylor and Mayfield are much better, aren't they?

Much.

So fans can watch a preseason game Friday night and think of the opponent, "Hey, their quarterbacks were almost our quarterbacks, but our quarterbacks are better than their quarterbacks." How's that gonna feel?

I don't know.

First time for everything.