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Beto O’Rourke’s dog Artemis clearly stole the show during his presidential campaign announcement video and subsequent Vanity Fair spread. People found themselves far more interested in what Artemis was thinking than in anything that Beto had to say.

Lucky for us, “Artemis” has decided to create his own (parody) Twitter account, and it’s even more glorious than we could ever imagine.

In case you were wondering, I’m the furry in the picture. No, the other one. pic.twitter.com/ewcqhTKEhX — Beto’s Dog (@dog_betos) March 14, 2019

The Vanity Fair spread was okay I guess. Photog said I was cute, tried to give be a biscuit. Store brand. Then we drove around in Francis’s truck while he played Green Day on the radio. Punk for posers, but what can you do? — Beto’s Dog (@dog_betos) March 14, 2019

They named me Artemis. I think it’s the goddess of wisdom or something. But now they just call me Artie. That wouldn’t be so bad if the kids didn’t rhyme it with fartie. Meanwhile, I just keep waiting for Godot. — Beto’s Dog (@dog_betos) March 14, 2019

It’s not like I’m emo or anything, but I used to be a yellow lab. — Beto’s Dog (@dog_betos) March 14, 2019



Strangely enough, it would seem that Artemis’ political beliefs run somewhat counter to those of his master.

I keep this picture hidden behind the toilet in the guest bathroom. When Francis thinks I’m drinking out of the bowl, I stare at it and dream. pic.twitter.com/u4DYtRElQH — Beto’s Dog (@dog_betos) March 14, 2019

Cows will be free to fart under my administration. https://t.co/s25r05tE0X — Beto’s Dog (@dog_betos) March 14, 2019

Don’t tell Francis, but I kind of like @tedcruz. He always carries beef jerky in his pocket. pic.twitter.com/Q5cOPrB24b — Beto’s Dog (@dog_betos) March 14, 2019



Perhaps most interesting is what Artemis seems to think of Beto himself.

People ask, what’s up with those hands? He pets me with them sometimes. No scritches, though. Maybe I shed too much. Maybe I care too much. pic.twitter.com/PrOAVxpTOC — Beto’s Dog (@dog_betos) March 14, 2019

Francis ruined the Ramones for me when I saw him dressed up like a sheep in that music video. I haven’t smiled since. pic.twitter.com/P8wwf06FXH — Beto’s Dog (@dog_betos) March 14, 2019

Stop feeding me wheat grass and get me some real dog food and I might think about it. https://t.co/xMIiVhMtbf — Beto’s Dog (@dog_betos) March 15, 2019

Some nights, Francis walks around the house like this and I get scared that Slenderman is coming to get me. pic.twitter.com/YOmnn5B9Ku — Beto’s Dog (@dog_betos) March 15, 2019

Doorbell rang. Thought it was the pizza delivery guy. Turned out to be another Amazon package for Francis. Good grief, how many “For Dummies” books does he need? — Beto’s Dog (@dog_betos) March 15, 2019



Artemis has only been on Twitter for two days, but he’s managed to rack up an impressive 1,409 followers.

I highly recommend following Beto’s Dog on Twitter. I guarantee you won’t be disappointed.