NEW YORK, N.Y. (SatireWire.com) – A bold and exhaustive United Nations report on the deteriorating state of the world has concluded that somebody should do something.

Speaking to the U.N. General Assembly, special investigator Hans Tremmel said the overwhelming evidence of global suffering left him no choice but to bluntly declare that someone needs to take definitive steps and specific actions.

“Things should not be as they are and it’s time for somebody to do something,” Tremmel told U.N. members. “And what that somebody should do is something — and I can’t stress this enough — about it.”

“He’s right,” said the U.S.

“Absolutely,” said France

“Agreed,” said Great Britain.

“Of course,” said Russia

“Good,” said the U.N.

“OK,” said the U.S.

“So,” said Great Britain.

“Yeah…” said Brazil.

“Um…” said India

“C’mon!” said the U.N.

“Alright,” said Australia

“We’re going,” said Russia.

“Geez,” said Spain.

“Here we go,” said the U.S.

“On the way,” said China.

“You first,” said Norway.

“Right behind you,” said Japan

“Then again…” said Turkey.

“Good point,” said the U.S.

“And what if…?” said France.

“There’s that,” said China.

“Not to mention…” said Russia.

“Naturally,” said Morocco.

“I agree,” said Poland.

“Gives you pause,” said Germany.

“Makes you think,” said Sweden.

“Thinking’s good,” said Australia.



“Uh-oh,” said France.

“What’s up?” said the U.S.

“Look at the time,” said Spain.

“We’ll miss lunch,” said Brazil.

“No good us suffering,” said Russia.

“Doesn’t prove a thing,” said Great Britain.

“Talk later,” said India.

The U.N. report also recommended that if somebody doesn’t do something soon, some kind of effective world body should be established to enable nations to work together and get things done.

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