Washington D.C.—

According to White House insiders, President Donald Trump asked pharmaceutical company executives during a Coronavirus-themed roundtable discussion to name any COVID-19 vaccines or drugs after him.

A White House staffer requesting anonymity gave The Halfway Post an audio recording of Trump’s request during the discussion:

“So, when we finally get a vaccine, I have some ideas for the name,” Mr. Trump can be heard saying at the beginning of the recording. “I was thinking something like Trumpvax, or Trumpex, or Trumpicil, or something medical sounding like that. Or how about Trumpazone? And what about the color? I really like orange. I don’t know why. Or maybe if it comes in pill form the pills can be gold. Who wouldn’t want to take a Trump pill that’s bright gold? I definitely want my name printed on every pill. Front and back. I want people to thank me for the coronavirus cure, and think of me when they take it. My poll numbers could definitely use a little boost. And if the vaccines or pills are sold at Walgreens, Walmart, and places like that, I want them to be on the top shelf. It’s gotta be top shelf. I definitely want it higher than the vaccines and medicine for measles, and the flu, and other low-energy viruses like those. And I want the ebola vaccine on the bottom shelf. It’s gotta be the very bottom. Obama did that vaccine, so how great can it be? So yeah, very bottom shelf. Trumpicil on top. Can we make that happen? And I want the packaging for my vaccine to be black with very bold, very gold lettering saying ‘Trumpicil,’ or whatever name we end up with. Very big, and nothing else on the front. The disclaimers and directions or whatever can all be crammed on the back. The front just needs to say ‘Trumpicil’ with ‘Trump’ in gold, and maybe the ‘icil’ part in white or a different color so that ‘Trump’ really stands out, you know? Wow, I’m so good at vaccines!”

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