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Or perhaps all of them. And still no shitty vampires.

There are volumes to be written about why so many women get a thrill out of domination fantasies (the 50 Shades series has sold more than 125 million copies -- one for literally every adult woman in the United States). There is probably even more to be written about why the guy doing the dominating needs to be a billionaire lycanthrope. But that is, unquestionably, what they want. Where there's a market, there is someone to fill it.

Sasha Wolf

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"Your father's a good man, provides for us both, and almost never mutilates little old ladies anymore."

"There's a specific type of person who can't orgasm without a story in their head," says Peter. "Even having sex with their dream lover they're imagining a narrative, and they aren't necessarily in the narrative. But they need that narrative to have sex in order to reach orgasm. And you generally have favorites you return to over and over again."

And if cheap erotic fiction stops even one hypnotist from mesmerizing some siblings into fucking while a Sasquatch masturbates nearby, maybe it's all worth it.

Peter Hayward has a website called Lessons in Smut and a Patreon.

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For more insider perspectives, check out 7 Realities Of Spending Your Pre-Teen Years In A Psych Ward and Explosions Are Pigs: 5 Weird Truths About Movie Sounds.