Like a Spring Break-ing frat dude who awakes from a bender with a permanent-marker penis on his face, Patton Oswalt has clambered from the haze of his Oscar-snub party to discover that he booked a supporting role on CBS’s Two And A Half Men, the series that is to television what Victory Gin is to George Orwell’s 1984. According to the show's writers, Oswalt will play “the Wozniak to Walden’s Jobs,” suggesting that he will have a somewhat-contentious history with Ashton Kutcher’s billionaire developer character, and that maybe Ashton Kutcher’s character is going to die. Granted, Oswalt has a history of embracing (when not photobombing) formulaic sitcoms, as evidenced by his work on The King Of Queens. But naturally there will be some who see this as an attempt—not unlike the booking of Judy Greer—to borrow some of Oswalt’s comedy cred, with protective fans hoping only that it won't being shredded in the whipping whirlwind of the show’s vertiginous suck-hole. To them, we suppose it bears repeating that money can be used to buy things.

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