[dropcap]L[/dropcap]et’s extinguish the rape culture entirely. Who needs it and better yet who wants it? Not me, and I suspect you don’t either. Let’s start with our language and make this politically correct while we’re at it. That often used French word “rape.” No more grated French cheese. Screw them and their smelly products. We know what you French buggers are up to and it’s time to put an end to it. Just say no to culture, French culture, and their quaint little bacterial culture. Enough is enough. Speaking of grater’s the wife was doing a pretty good job last night, wonder if I can have her charged? Only in France, you say? Tabernac!

While we’re at it, just like parsing words like manhole and changing them to anybody holes we need to take a serious look at “the rapists.” Especially psycho the rapists. While I’m guessing the(rapy) is a subjective position it does, nevertheless, describe the fee schedule. How much more obvious than this can you get when it comes to rape? These people designate themselves as “the rapists.” We need to get to the bottom of this. There will be no more massaging of anything; not your hamstring or your neurosis. This rape culture stops here and now.

By the way, that rapier wit has to go, it’s pretty clear that most women can feel the penetrating humor and well, you just don’t cuddle afterwards. Those penetrating romantic gazes? Guess what, that’s right; rape, rape, rape, rape, rape. If there’s no penetration then there is no rape, pretty simple stuff here. Wait, did I just use the word “stuff”? Doh!

By the way, regarding penetration, to all othose occupying academe forthwith any future studies or submissions shall limit their materials to compelling. Penetrating will no longer be tolerated and we haven’t settled yet on whether we can tolerate compelling. You will be required to submit consent forms from all attendees. Bring a pen.

Christ on horseback – I feel better already, I think I might ask the wife tonight if she’s in the mood for a little consent. I remember the last time I had consent. When she removed it, I couldn’t remember if I was thrusting in or pulling out. Fuck it, I just turned myself in to the cops. Let them sort it out.

Of course it was a little embarrassing to admit that I might have raped my wife but I lost track. I was overwhelmed by my insensitivity and trying not to blow my consent prematurely. There has been many occasions that I just wanted to throw my wife down and consent her brains out; just really go to town, just consent her out of her mind. I love to watch her consent to a climax. Or is it climax to consent? Well you know what I mean. You don’t know, per se, unless you consent to my consent to know she consented.

Last week the wife caught me consenting off in the shower, but hey, what could she say? I had consent, notarized. When I caught her with her vibrator I immediately asked to see her consent form. She was diagnosed by her “the rapist” as bi-polar. I didn’t want to be charged as an accessory, especially since the vibrator was already occupying that role.

We tried this new sex game at home designed to cause maximum arousal. It’s called blind consent, all the players are blindfolded and you have to guess who gave consent, the losers get 10-15 years. A little stiff but don’t confuse this with arousal. I figured this was just an abbreviated version of divorce court.

I’m guessing that young couples may consider changing their marriage vows from “I do,” to “I consent.” This would be great for guys, if she doesn’t, you can avoid divorce completely. I can just imagine how the women’s magazines will be spinning this. “50 ways to make him think you consented.” “How to get even with consent hounds by using disappearing ink.” “How to put the consent back in your marriage,” “Consent: a one way street with no exit and no entrance,” “How to make him consent to child support without ever sleeping with him.”

I am curious how this will affect the laws of search and seizure, given the fact that every male in prison custody is subjected to a body cavity search the stats for male rape should increase exponentially, unless, of course, they default to entrance through the nose or ear.

I can’t imagine a man consenting to it or being made to. Is this a trick question, did these guys at the Federal Bureau of Idiots think this through or is there some law that will remove a man’s right to withhold consent? If there is, it should be put on the table in plain view so men can use the same snake slither to ward off false allegations.

I would suppose that invasive medical procedures performed on children to establish sexual contact may no longer be legal. Oh wait, I guess the state just removes children from your custody and grants consent against your will. Maybe that’s how they will get around raping men in jails – by assigning men in custody as wards of the state. Maybe men should consider a relationship with a woman only if she agrees that you are a custodial caregiver with all legal rights to exercise consent on her behalf. You may want to consider adding this to the small unreadable print on your coitus contracts.

I’m one of those people that although against rape have many questions regarding it. “Why” is the first, followed by a thousand others. I am much less tolerant not of what we believe to be rape by definition or the victimization of women. I’m less tolerant of the violence and the gender specific connotations that represent systemic violence towards men and boys. Rape to me is nothing less than coerced intimacy as a qualifier, across the board and gender neutral. I don’t care if you’re a cop trying to coerce a statement or a wife bitching about your menstrual cycle, or a feminist calling some man a homo because he shows no interest in you. You are trying to fuck someone for your own benefit, with no regard for the effects of your behavior.

The whole issue is backwards, we should be focused on the damage that occurs as a result of attempting a relationship. The path to pathology can be altered but not by the current laws. I think we all know both men and women that rape and its perception extends far beyond the legal definition. It is too often an exaggeration of the facts. Unfortunately feminists reside in the background shaking their pom-poms and cheering it on. I believe that there are too many officials willing to alter the facts to fit the charge, for no other reason than to justify funding or acquire brownie points, but more importantly to fit the fact that no other legal definitions exist. Unfortunately our behaviors are not as black and white as the laws that govern it.

The previous definition of rape was obviously penned by those polishing their dicks and believing they were polishing their brains. The new and improved version of rape is so myopic as to provide holes big enough to require consent to engage them. Are these assholes and acolytes of rape really getting paid for this shit or are they planning a new reality show?

I have no doubt that the larger portion of women or for that matter the public if asked to define rape are unable to limit their definition to what is understood to be the legal definition. I expect that law enforcement officials are no better. Rape in and of the perception of it immediately instills vile contempt for its occurrence, in all quarters. But that vile contempt rarely reflects the circumstance. It is quite likely that what feminists consider unreported rape may in fact be a lack of definition to accurately define the occurrence. Those who do not report may feel the definition of rape is too strong to address their experience. But the interest to explore the possibility does not exist.

We simply lack the language to define any occurrence of circumstance that may fit in between the actual definition of consent and the actual definition of rape. So we stretch those definitions to the detriment of both genders. If a man coerces a woman to have sex against her comfort to engage, the result is an exaggeration. If she consented to coercion she is a slut, if he admits to coercion he is a rapist. Both are an exaggeration of the facts. Where the outcome may have been more consistent with remorse for the occurrence, a lack of life skills and a need for counseling, we instead apply a prison sentence. We call this civilization but we don’t include the laugh track in the background.

We pretend at politics of liberalism, portray a community consciousness of empowerment and administer totalitarian law enforcement. We know that our lives, experience and circumstances include shades of gray but we refuse to shape our laws to accommodate those experiences. Because we determine that consent and rape will reside at distant extremes with no alternate definitions, I believe every accusation should require the accuser to define rape in writing and both parties should submit to a lie detector. If the accuser fails the test she should be required to meet all expenses. That is to say if you put on a lousy performance the audience should be reimbursed.

My first experience with sex was unwanted; I was coerced by the girl that I dated. When I chose to break it off I was accused by her of transmitting a sexual infection. To the best of my knowledge a virgin cannot do that. I could only conclude that she infected me and I was left to submit to the humiliation of being tested by a female doctor, while four other women stood and watched the procedure. I have no doubt that to 99.9 % of the women who would read this paragraph the humor is compelling. Feminist rape accusers and MRA apologists reside at the extreme opposite ends of the issue, but for those that live their lives in the middle it’s not hard to understand and recognize that when you attach humiliation and degradation to sex, you are doing damage, even if it is a fetish.

We simply have no laws to govern or protect men from sexual deviance or sexual abuse. We know the lasting effects are often psychological but men somehow don’t meet the measurement for consideration. There are millions of men that suffer from the effects of sexual abuse and categorically defined as damaged goods, not worth the trouble. We lack the compassion to extend any protection or understanding of their experience and this same courtesy is extended to our boys.

As a man who can accept the ideal of equality I no longer have any sympathy, interest or concern for adult women that pretend, protest or parade their rape politics or their claims. I will adhere to 100% jury nullification on this issue and as far as I’m concerned rape culture is completely in the minds of women. It is an exaggeration of the law and does not serve to protect men in any way. Now we are equal.