(There are three customers outside on the patio: three men, one with long hair. The other two customers are friends and start volleying increasingly homophobic insults at him. I, as the hostess am closest and move to intervene.)

Me: “Gentlemen, please return to your meal. Abuse of the other patrons will not be tolerated and I do not want to have you thrown out.”

Customer #1: “What the h*** are you talking about, are you dumb? That guy’s a fucking f**. Look at his f***ing hair!”

Me: “You cannot discern another person’s sexuality from a hairstyle, sir, and I’m going to have to ask you to leave. I already told you that I cannot allow you to insult the other patrons. I do not want to retrieve security.”

Customer #2: “Screw that, b****! We’re not going anywhere. I’m in the middle of eating.”

(Surprisingly, a police man still in uniform walks up to us.)

Customer #1: “Hey, police man! This dumb f***ing c*** wants to throw us out instead of that d*** gay over there. Can you f***ing believe that?”

Policeman: “What I believe is that I should be very grateful to have a wonderful boyfriend who waited for me even though I was late and two idiots were heckling him. I believe that this young lady is quite commendable for standing up to those two idiots. I also believe you two want to pay for you lunches and leave.”

(There’s a bit of a stand off before the two get up and simply leave two twenty dollar bills. I turn to the remaining customer.)

Me: “I’m very, very sorry, sir. I’ll tell your waiter that lunch for you and your partner is free.”

Customer #3: “No need, miss.”

(He pulls a ten dollar bill out of his wallet.)

Customer #3: “Hostesses don’t get tipped, do they?”

Me: “That’s really not necessary, sir. It’s all just part of my job. I was happy to help.”

Policeman: “And for that miss, I think it is necessary.”

(He sits down across from his boyfriend and also hands me a ten. One of the men returned to complain to my manager ten minutes later and was summarily banned from the restaurant when the policeman and his partner explained what happened. I went to their wedding eight months later.)