Name: Vegan Wool.

Appearance: Traditional and cosy.

Location: Dorset, England.

What’s vegan wool? Is it used for the yoghurt-knitting that I often hear is popular at the Guardian? Ah, no. You’re confusing vegan wool with Vegan Wool.

Can you de-confuse me? Well, vegan wool is one of a number of plant-derived textiles that attempt to replicate the softness and insulating properties of animal fibre.

That figures. Whereas Vegan Wool is a historic village in the West Country. Or at least, it will be if Wool parish council decides to add the word Vegan to the village name.

Is it likely to do that? No, not particularly, but it has been asked to consider it by Peta.

Is that People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals? It really is.

And is Wool a centre for the wool industry? It really isn’t. The name is a corruption of “Welles”, referring to local springs.

So, this is just a publicity stunt? Yes (probably). One of the People, Elisa Allen, wrote to the council on Wednesday claiming that “cruelty is rampant on sheep farms”. Peta thinks that asking the village to call itself Vegan Wool should really help its cause.

Does the proposition have much local support? I think it’s given some villagers a laugh. “I’m vegan but that’s bonkers,” said Samantha Peters, who runs a tea room in Wool.

Wouldn’t it be simpler just to be kind to sheep, shear them gently, and keep using proper wool? It might be simpler, but it wouldn’t satisfy Peta. It says wool is “stolen”.

Stolen? Can animals own things? Peta thinks so.

And what does Peta do about it? Well, it did launch a legal battle to win the copyright to a photograph on behalf of a crested black macaque.

What the …? Basically, a monkey took a selfie and Peta almost bankrupted the photographer whose camera it used by suing him over it.

So the ethical treatment of people doesn’t bother it so much? That’s an opinion. Three US judges certainly appeared to criticise Peta’s behaviour.

So when do we find out if Vegan Wool will take its place on the map? After the next council meeting on 17 December. Peta has promised every resident a free vegan blanket if it gets its way.

How sweet. Then they can all have a cosy Christmas. A cosy Christmas without turkey, sausage rolls, brandy butter, mince pies, Christmas pudding with suet, custard or eggnog, yes.

Do say: “Use yarns made from hemp and coconut fibres treated with enzymes extracted from oyster mushrooms.”

Don’t say: “Don’t you mean ‘stolen’ from oyster mushrooms?”