I am so tired of the sophistry and gaslighting that the LDS church’s newsroom repeatedly releases in response to concerns about harmful and abusive practices.

The latest example comes from their statement about worthiness interviews with regard to Sam Young’s two-week hunger strike to protest this practice. As has come to be expected by now, it is full of misdirection, half-truths, and utter nonsense.

Allow me to break it down for you.

“Children and youth are precious.”

No argument here.

“We share a desire to protect them…”

If this were true, the church would pay attention to best practices in child protection and pastoral ministry. This would include:

Background checks for all who work with children.

Extensive training for leaders who provide pastoral care (no, a paragraph in a handbook is not extensive training).

Attention to theological, pastoral, and mental health experts who have repeatedly pointed out that worthiness/personal interviews of any kind are harmful.

“…to help them grow…”

Actually, the practice of worthiness/personal interviews creates shame and fear, which stunts growth.

“…and develop faith in the Savior, Jesus Christ…”

Worthiness/personal interviews destroy faith the Savior, Jesus Christ, because they are based on false and idolatrous theological premises.

The notion of “worthiness” is a theological error. We are loved and forgiven by God because God’s nature is one of mercy and grace, full stop. There is nothing we can do to “earn” God’s grace; that is what grace means. There is nothing we can do to “lose” God’s love; that is what love is. We are simultaneously always “worthy” of God’s love in the sense that God has created us to love and be loved, and loves us unconditionally (despite Russell Nelson’s teachings to the contrary), and “unworthy” in the sense that we all struggle with the inevitable human gap between our ideals and our actions. God’s love and grace are not contingent on us; thus, “worthiness” has absolutely no meaning in a gospel sense and is a false and destructive concept.

Worthiness/personal interviews create dependence on the church instead of Christ. When an external, human source is seen as having the authority to declare to you your worth and/or eternal standing, it trains you to seek approval from that human source as opposed to God. This is easily observed in the regular conflation of the church with God in Mormonism (protip: if you are feeling threatened or frustrated by this point, that is the conflation of which I am speaking). Faith in Christ looks like trust that God has already made you whole and will never abandon you; faith in a human institution looks like anxiety that you are not okay and may never be on the one hand, and smug self-satisfaction that because you’ve fulfilled a checklist you’re better than others on the other. There is another word for this, by the way: idolatry.

“…and to live good and moral lives.”

Good and moral lives arise out of a heart that is at peace because of the soul-deep conviction that one is always loved no matter what. Compliance to rules from a fear of rejection is not morality, but shame. In addition, shame creates self-fracturing, hiding, compulsive behavior, and deception of self and others. Worthiness/personal interviews do not encourage morality but destroy it.

“This includes building good relationships with ecclesiastical and youth leaders who can provide support in many settings including personal interviews.”

Worthiness/personal interviews accomplish the opposite of building good relationships of trust and support. One cannot truly trust a pastoral leader who fancies himself a “judge in Israel” because of the inherent power dynamics at play. The role of the pastor is to walk with people through the peaks and valleys of life and to remind them of God’s unfailing love and forgiveness through it all. It is not to create elaborate “repentance processes” or to ask a checklist of questions to determine loyalty and acceptability. Because such a system is antithetical to real love and grace, relationships forged within it are incapable of being genuinely supportive. To the extent that some resemblance of healthy dynamics of support exist, it is because the people involved have managed to overcome the limitations of the system through grace. Such outcomes emerge in spite of this practice, not because of it.

“In recent months, the church has taken important steps to improve these interactions and to strengthen the relationships between young people and their parents and leaders, and will continue to do so.”

The church has not taken important steps to improve these interactions. In fact, I would argue that the church has taken literally no action at all. They cite two “changes” in this Deseret News article.

They made it a “policy” that a minor can request the presence of a trusted adult in the room during worthiness/personal interviews with leaders. Here’s the thing that baffles me: how is this any kind of policy change at all? Did they really think they could have prevented it before? Last I checked, they don’t have legal guardianship of my children—if my child or I wanted to set a boundary that a trusted third party must be present in the room during a conversation with a church leader, do they think that in some bizarre universe they could have refused such a request? Members are not prisoners. There was never a moment any member didn’t have the right to say, “I won’t meet with you if I have to meet with you alone”—whether or not it was in the handbook. That they consider this a “policy change” reveals underlying assumptions of dysfunction and control.

They released a standardized list of questions for limited-use recommends and updated the blurb in the handbook about the nature and purpose of worthiness/personal interviews. I can’t see anything in this document that changes a darn thing. The interview questions are what they’ve always been for limited use recommends as far as I can tell. My recollection is that the instruction to use standards and explanations from For the Strength of Youth and to avoid encouraging curiosity or experimentation have always been intact. Regardless, these sleights of hand ignore the real problem with this policy: that the very act of asking these questions is abusive and traumatizing. There is no version of a worthiness/personal interview that is not harmful. Even the most benign questions, in the theological and pastoral framework in which worthiness/personal interviews are conducted, are completely out of bounds.

“Church leaders at every level—from Sam’s local bishop to stake president and stake president to a recent conversation with a general authority—have met with him to express love, to listen and to counsel with him. They have reviewed his materials and understand clearly his viewpoint. Further meetings with him are not necessary to clarify his position on this matter.”

It is not true that church leaders at every level have met with Sam: he has never had the chance to meet with a member of Q15, which is what his latest action is about. These men are the only ones with the power to affect this kind of policy change across the institution. His bishop can’t. His stake president can’t. Whatever middle manager/“general authority” they sent to try to talk him down can’t.

Futher, a meeting with Sam or anyone who has raised legitimate objections to this practice is not about “clarifying positions”–as if this is an abstract philosophical debate in a college classroom. It is about demanding that those in power, who have brazenly and corruptly abused that power by insisting upon a policy of systemic spiritual abuse for every active Mormon aged 12 and up, confront the truth of what they have done. It is about leaders who have committed this egregious sin coming face to face with those who have been deeply and directly damaged by their actions so that they can repent.

“The church will continue to look for ways to guide, inspire and nurture young people by strengthening homes, providing positive role models and offering activities and learning opportunities that build character and deepen faith in Jesus Christ.”

As the church “continues to look,” might I suggest that there is one extremely important and transformational way to guide, inspire, and nurture youth staring you in the face right now: STOP the practice of worthiness/personal interviews.

For your sake and the sake of all who have been impacted by this indefensible practice, cast this millstone off your neck. Now.