



Yes, yes I do. And you do too. We all do.





But for those of us who are unsure, maybe we're just not looking deep enough.





And yes, this post is heavily influenced by Mark Manson and his book The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck, a book that has become my bible. Idk, his stuff just really resonates with me.





Let's begin with the classic question that every human being encounters eventually: "What do you want to do with your life?"



And the cliché solution to this problem that you might expect from any self-help book is to "follow your passions". But s

ometimes I wonder if I even have any passions at all, because with all my years of living I still haven't been able to figure out what I love the most that i want to make a living out of. Do i even have any passions? Is it possible to have no passions?





But here's the thing:





I've been living for 18 years, I MUST have been doing something with my time.

There has to be some hobbies, topics, or ideas that dominate a significant amount of my free time, my thoughts, my conversations, and my internet browsing - and dominates me without consciously pursuing it or looking for it. Because when people have the choice, they naturally do what they want to do. And these must be my passions.





I've lived a lot of my life with the expectation that one day I would make a living doing the one thing that I love for the rest of my life, and that I would enjoy every second of it. But I've come to realize that this expectation is unrealistic. Unrealistic for me, and probably unrealistic for most people.





What is realistic is setting goals and then slowly working towards them. Somebody once told me to set a couple crazy almost unimaginable goals based on your passions. And that's when I came up with 2 goals in life:

1. Get a job in Cali at a company like Facebook, Google, Apple, or Microsoft.

2. Become a famous DJ ​





But before I blindly strive for these goals I really have to ask myself, do I really want these things, or do I just like fantasizing about them if they were to become true some day. Do I just want the result, or am I willing to go through the struggle to obtain these results?





I say I want to make it to Cali, but do I really enjoy spending my free time learning new programming languages and grinding out side projects?

I say I want to be a DJ but do I enjoy trying to learn by watching youtube tutorials and the trouble of finding existing dj's that are willing to help? Do I already do any of these things with my free time already?

I guess I won't really know unless I give them an honest to god try, unless I actually put in the work. But luckily, that's where the beauty lies. No person who dreams of becoming an NBA player works really hard to make it into the league and then just stops. They continue working hard because that's where the struggle resides, but its the struggle they truly deep down enjoy. So as you may realize, it's not about the result, but rather the process. And if you're not enjoying the process, you probably don't actually want it. Because if you really want something, you're going to be willing to struggle for it.

"If you have to look for what you’re passionate about, then you’re probably not passionate about it at all."

-Mark Manson

I already have passions. I just have to not ignore them and put in the work to give it an honest try to make a living out of them. Luckily, i still have the rest of my life to do so. And maybe it doesn't work out I end up working a normal job that I don't love for money. What's the big deal? I'm sure i'll find a way to pursue my passions on the side either way. It's something called balance. Life requires balance. It's ok to not be happy all the time.





This post was inspired by the beginning of my first co-op term. Naturally I expect that the question about

what I want to do with my life will pop up a lot whenever some big event happens in my life, or whenever I'm sitting at home trying to figure out what to do with my time.

And for now, I'm okay with not knowing because I understand being uncertain is a natural part of life. Everybody knows that you have to take risks sometimes to succeed. But most importantly, I also understand that the life I'm living is already really fucking good

and I

shouldn't feel the need to sit at home and think deeply about my future because

i already know everything that I need to know to make the rest of my life great - all i have to do is realize that.

Thanks for reading,



Steven Huang

@SqR_08



2:43 PM



Toronto, ON



