In an attempt to appeal to "older viewers," according to the L.A. Times, Bruno Mars has reportedly asked the wrinkled, leathery husks of the Red Hot Chili Peppers to join him during this year’s Super Bowl halftime show. While the majority of people who like the Red Hot Chili Peppers probably aren’t rocking chair-ready just yet, it’s worth noting that both Flea and Anthony Kiedis are 51 years old, making them absolutely eligible to receive all the discounted coffee and driving safety courses AARP membership allows. Drummer Chad Smith is 52, putting him that much closer to death and 4 p.m. dinner.


There’s no word yet about just how the Peps will contribute to the Pepsi halftime show, but the merger is expected to be officially announced on Fox during Saturday’s playoff game between the New Orleans Saints and the Seattle Seahawks.