BRAY WANDERERS HAVE released a positive update on the club’s financial security, and promised to lead a football revolution not just in Wicklow, but in Ireland.

A bewildering statement released by the club this morning also confirmed the club are seeking help from Wicklow County Council to knock the Carlisle Grounds, with the prospective funds to be used to finance a new stadium for the club.

In a release which twice referred to North Korea, the club also mentioned Conor McGregor when addressing the issue of ‘naysayers’, before quoting iconic Ghanaian writer Ernest Agyemang Yeboah as a message to those who doubt their vision.

“Bray Wanderers FC can now officially confirm the club is financially stable for the foreseeable future and have a vision for the future unrivalled by any other Football Club in Ireland,” began the statement, which was signed by club chairman Gerry Mulvey.

“Wicklow County has unfortunately now attained the accolade of being the North Korea of Ireland for business.

“But like all suppressed people, they eventually revolt, a revolution of Football is going to start and Bray Wanderers will be the leaders not just for Wicklow but for Ireland in this revolt.

“Ireland produced great world beating players, from Roy Keane, John Giles, Liam Brady, Robbie Keane to Ray Houghton and many many more.

“The problem and question is why cannot Ireland produce such great talent anymore. We at Bray Wanderers are going to answer the questions and solve this problem.”

Those answers and solutions, per Bray Wanderers, are thus:

We are going to give Wicklow and Ireland something to be proud of where there will be an academy to rival the best in the world. Our vision and ,rest assured ,we will execute the delivery of our vision is a world class football academy to rival the best in the world.

“To achieve this, yes, we are going to and are in preliminary negotiations to buy a new Ground, and will be seeking from Wicklow County Council the rezoning of the land in The Carlisle grounds with the development proceeds used to fund the construction of what will be the best Academy and sporting Grounds in the country.

“To keep the club on a sound financial Footing and independently fund this academy and club forevermore, we do have a plan on how to do that.

“This will be at no cost to the Exchequer or County Council. But when you operate in North Korea, these options are difficult to achieve, but we will achieve it.”

“Eventually when we have succeeded in our vision creating the best centre of Excellence in Ireland, based on Academies such as Barcelona Manchester United and other in that calibre, creating the best production line of players in Ireland, we will hand the facility and sustainable business over to a trust who will protect the club and the development of Football in Wicklow & Ireland long after our collective lifetimes.”

The statement finishes with a message to those sceptical of the club’s masterplan, by way of Ernest Agyemang Yeboah, author of The Untapped Wonder in You, amongst other novels.

“There will be may naysayers to this and to them, we say,

“Ideally we’d bring in Conor McGregor for a quote but our response is,

“‘One great enemy we must all endeavor to fear not conquering is fear. Fear can cripple purpose and purposeful life. Fear asks question we must fear. Fear makes vision a nightmare. One must always cross the barrier of fear to get to the great city of true purposefulness. A great number of us who are unable to live to accomplish the true reason for our existence on earth are unable to cross the barrier of fear in the first place.’”

“Those afraid and living Fear, rest assured fear has no place in Bray Wanderers.”

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