After the first of what will be many wrong endings in a Toronto FC strip, Scottish newcomer Steven Caldwell pronounced himself “bitterly disappointed.”

He used that formulation three times.

Caldwell will want to be more parsimonious with his negative-superlatives. He’s going to need a lot of them this year, and you don’t want to start firehosing them around on Day One.

FC has experimented with many new and bizarre ways to lose during this season. Saturday, they went back to the missionary position of failure — falling behind and then being outplayed.

They had their early chances and squandered them all.

The emblematic moment arrived in the 38th minute, when a ball was headed down in front of the goal and into the path of midfielder Justin Braun. It was one of those terrible moments where a player finds himself with a gilt-edged chance and just enough time to start thinking about how gilt-edged it is. Braun snatched his shot, sending it wide (and weakly).

Over on the bench, coach Ryan Nelsen was doing his mid-game yoga, corkscrewing his arms around his body and his legs around each other. If he keeps tightening up, he’s going to rupture his spleen some time in August.

Less than five minutes later, Columbus scored the game’s only goal. Their midfield generalissimo, Federico Higuain, created it, lancing one through Toronto’s defensive line to a rushing Dominic Oduro.

Throughout the game, the Argentine was the only real string-puller on the field. He sees things other players at this level do not see. He’s playing chess while elsewhere they’re playing . . . well, checkers is too kind. Let’s call it Boggle.

Toronto has had its Higuains. They’ve often been hurt or ill-used or feckless, but they’ve had that spark. This current squad entirely lacks that sort of player.

On the day, forward Robert Earnshaw was Toronto’s best performer, but another newcomer, Matias Laba, was the most tantalizing. When moving into space, the 21-year-old is an electric presence.

Frustratingly, he only thinks one move ahead. He spends most of his time running down blind alleys like Clark Kent looking for a place to change.

While Toronto did show some early imagination, it was the result of storming in from the flanks and beating players one-on-one. There is nobody minding the shop in the middle — Laba’s presumptive responsibility.

“How do you create clear-cut chances?” assistant coach Fran O’Leary said afterward. “You create them because you’re creative.”

Toronto FC — world-class when it comes to tautologies. That’s something.

O’Leary chose not to see that sometimes you’re creating because your opponents aren’t very good, which was the case in this instance.

As O’Leary warmed, we got the strongest indication yet of where this year is headed — nowhere.

Toronto has now won one of 11 league games. A team with any ambition would be feeling a little rattled. The management of this squad looks serene as a Hindu carving.

With Nelsen watching the reserve game that followed, O’Leary was sent in to do the post-game unpleasantries.

“We’re still at the early stages,” he said brightly. “I know there’s no panic in our dressing room. There’s no panic with our group. We’re going to construct this team over a period of time over several windows.”

Get that — “windows.” For the next little while, they’ll be jumping through them.

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The other Irishman on the squad was sounding less upbeat.

Defender Darren O’Dea was pushed over to an unfamiliar position at left fullback (another of this team’s consistent downfalls through regimes — believing everyone can play everywhere, and be happy doing it).

O’Dea is as measured as a captain should be, but he’s not thinking in terms of periods of time and future windows. He’s embarrassed about losing right now. In nine months with this club, he’s won one league game.

“No one can give you confidence,” O’Dea said. “It’s a tough thing to get.”

It’s certainly one thing you need. Quality is a rather more important component.

Maybe Laba’s got it. It’s there in nascent form. He’s already lapped his teammates on their ball handle. He enjoys the pace and physicality of the league — perhaps too much. He often appears to be seeking out contact.

“Yes, yes, it’s one of the aspects of my game,” Laba said through a translator. “In today’s game, it’s very important.”

Better to be going by opponents than laying them out, but we appreciate his enthusiasm.

The team’s other DP, Danny Koevermans, could return to the first-team after long-term injury by the next home game on June 1. However he plays, at age 34, he’s no future solution. He’s also a poacher, rather than a creator.

Right now, Toronto has only one high-ceiling egg in its basket, and it’s too early to tell how good Laba can be.

Regardless, that’s a future consideration. This team is several moves away from completion.

Those moves will stretch into next season. They warned us it would happen this way.

It’s still tough to watch.