Every four years the world bears witness to an athletic event that is synonymous with excellence. The unrivaled showcase of the greatest competitors the human race has to offer. With every event, spectators from around the world hold their breath as the men and women wearing the colors of their homeland chase the promise of eternal glory. Then two years later the Winter Olympics happen and everyone is semi-interested but mostly confused.

“Wait is this a sport or are they just filming them

skiing to the event?”

While the Winter Games can be breathtaking and the athletes competing in them admirable, for some reason it has just never kicked up the same amount of fervor and interest as it’s Summer counterpart.

Ok except that one time.

However, this year, interest in the Winter Games has been peaked by the headlines coming out of the host city of Sochi. Most of these stories are revolving around safety, or rather, a lack there of. Going off of the dash cam footage I have seen on Youtube, I am fairly positive the Russian language does not have a word that conveys the concept of safety. That is the only conclusion you can draw when surprise tanks are a legitimate concern in your day to day commute.

In Mother Russia, TRAFFIC JAM’S YOU.

Why have people been so concerned about safety at these games? It starts with the geographic area that Sochi happens to be located in. Let’s just say the neighborhood has been a little rowdy lately.

Honestly there is probably more shit going on here

but I am too American to know about it.

On top of that, Russia is engaged in extremely violent protests in Ukraine just a short distance north of Sochi, relatively speaking. These protests are fueled by the host nation’s unfair and smothering control of Ukraine’s ability to independently trade internationally, among other forms of assholery (to put it lightly). While there is no reason to believe the situation in Ukraine will affect the Games, the direct threats from terrorist organizations have put the government on high alert. Nothing is being taken lightly. For example, yogurt. Russian officials have blocked a delivery of Team USA’s Chobani yogurt, stating they have no way to tell if it meets their country’s health standards. Well if it is all in the name of health safety I suppose there is nothing wrong with that. Say Putin, could you spare a glass of water?

Or some Special Edition R. Kelly Gatorade. Whatever’s on tap.

This now infamous picture from a journalist’s hotel room has really kicked up a lot of questions. Questions like “What other health and safety concerns are we not aware of?” and “You seriously can’t provide something as basic as clean drinking water?” and “Are we all going to die?” The short answers respectively are “Yes.”, “Seriously.”, and “As long as you don’t get any of the water on your face you’ll be fine.” The litany of complaints have included hotel lobbies with missing floors, toilets that can’t flush toilet paper, notes informing guests their broken toilets will not be fixed, and a lot of other toilet related problems. While most of it might sound like pampered journalists whining about less than 5 star treatment, the Athletes’ Village is rumored to be in equally poor condition (the wave of Instagram photos that are about to be unleashed should confirm or deny those rumors). Which brings us to the primary concern: the safety of the athletes. It truly is a serious concern. After all, the Winter Olympics are usually such a controlled and tame series of sporting events, the idea that they could become unsafe is truly unnerving.

Look at all that safety.

It’s incredible how safe all these events are.

“Whoa dude slow down it’s not safe to skate that fast.”

Just kidding. You can die doing pretty much anything in the Winter Olympics. Especially if the courses aren’t in tip top shape. We have already had our first sign of trouble at the at new skiing and snowboarding event, Slopestyle. The course has taken down a few competitors already, and that was just practice runs. Shaun White, US Snowboarding superstar and 2 time Olympic Gold Medalist, has pulled out of the Slopestyle event just days before competition began due to concerns about the condition of the course. This is major news as The Flying Tomato has not only dominated the halfpipe event in the past two Olympics, but he pretty much owns the last decade of Winter X-Games. If there was any chance for someone to take down the king, it would be on the Slope. The last second withdrawal has left Team USA down a man, as they have no alternate ready for prelims. White has also effectively started a beef with arguably the rudest, most confrontational nation there is: Canada.

Basically the 1976 Oakland Raiders of the international sporting community.

True North team member Sebastian Toutant called out The Flying Tomato via twitter: “Mr. White… It’s easy to find excuses to pull out of a contest when you think you can’t win…”. SHOTS FIRED. The Canadian squad must be sick of hearing about Shaun White and the rest of USA Snowboarding, seeing as the Yanks have dominated the sport since its induction into the Olympiad. Could this be the year we see White dethroned? If it is, it will have to be in the halfpipe, as he isn’t giving anyone the chance to do it else where.

“I call this the 360 Frontside Go-Fuck-Yourself”

These are the kind of Olympic stories I love. Not necessarily athletes having problems with one another, but the rivalries. The chances at redemption. Opportunity to see a lifetime of work pay off in one spectacular run. At the end of the next two weeks, we won’t be talking about the condition of the hotel water. We won’t be talking about whether or not Sochi was prepared to host the Games. Every Olympics has its share of controversy, but by their completion, we forget the problems and remember the competition. Whether it is Winter or Summer, this is when we are reminded of the what the human spirit can do when it is entirely focused on one goal. We will see records broken, hopes dashed, and dreams realized. That is what the Olympics are really about. Seeing our own humanity through competition. A chance for the whole world to come together and marvel at the spectacular things we are capable of. The stage has been set, whether we like the way it looks or not, all that’s left to do is hit the lights and let the Games begin.