Millennials are forcing us to change the way we think about sports. And it’s a good thing, because the grown-ups have gone plum nuts.

Did you hear about the University of Hawaii offering a football scholarship to a fifth grader? That’s right, an 11-year-old named Titan Lacaden, whose father told ESPN that “when opportunity knocks, you answer the door.”

Even if the door still has child locks?

Which brings us to the No Fun League. If N.F.L. Commissioner Roger Goodell was any starchier, he’d be a potato. All those prohibitions on touchdown celebrations. No gathering except in small groups. No demonstrations. No going to the ground. Sometimes it has been difficult to tell the difference between the touchdown rules and martial law.