Songs from a Bruce Springsteen Album In Which No One Exorcises Their Personal Demons or Takes the New Jersey Turnpike

Previously by Paula Duhatschek: Everything You Can Buy in a 1977 Archie Comic, in Order of Desirability

“I Enjoyed My Teenage Years, But Don’t Think of Them Often”

“The Knowledge Economy is Coming and I For One Am Thankful”

“The Highway’s Jammed (with Responsible Drivers Who Have Made a Choice to Obey the Recommended Speed Limit)”

“The Homecoming King and Queen Enjoyed an Amicable Divorce”

“I’m Looking Forward to Revisiting My Hometown, Where the American Dream is Alive and Well”

“Glory Days (Are Whatever You Make of Them)”

“The Local Auto Factory is Closing and I’m Taking the Opportunity to Teach Myself How to Code”

“Taking Highway 95 on My Way to the Garden Centre”

“She Ain’t a Beauty, But Hey, Our Attraction is Based On Shared Interests and Mutual Respect”

“Prius Ranch”

“Finding Redemption Through My Participation in a Non-Profit Board”

“This Stretch of Road Symbolizes Tax Dollars Well Spent and Nothing More”

“Our Marriage Has Only Gotten Stronger (As We’ve Both Matured Into Adulthood)”

“My Job is Mundane and Physically Taxing But I Don’t Let it Define Me”

“A Well-Known Wrestler Cherishes His New Life as a Stay-at-Home Dad”

“My Veteran Friend Has Benefited from a Variety of Social Services”

“This Love in No Way Reminds Me of Crucifixion”

“Highway Bike Lanes are the Way of the Future”

“Mary Sits On the Porch and Enjoys Her Solitude”

“This Decaying Industrial Landscape Doesn’t Represent My Encroaching Middle Age”

“Went for a Long Drive and Brought My Kids Back a Pizza”

“(Lots of Well-Adjusted People) At the Boardwalk”

“The Heartland is Doing Fine, Thanks”

“This is By No Means Our Last Car Ride Together”

[Image via Wikimedia]