Going up



Bette Davis as pyjama inspo See All About Eve and Susan Sarandon in Feud. With sleep a status symbol, you may as well look fabulous getting your nine hours.

Sweaty Betty Zero Gravity leggings They really do make your bum look better, to the point of no longer having to tie a sweatshirt round your waist en route to the gym.

The Isa Arfen for Label/Mix trench Caramel shade; gathered sleeves; outsize buttons. Your perfect spring coat has it all, for £250.

Moxie Defined as “force of character, determination, or nerve”. A compliment for our times.

Basketball Hoop dreams are played out with the Kitsuné x NBA collaboration. Wear courtside for a slam dunk.

Elton John is having a fashion moment. Photograph: Matt Baron/Rex/Shutterstock

Goodbye Yellow Brick Road Elton is having such a fashion moment, thanks to Gucci. His best, proggiest, album should be put on repeat immediately.

Going down



Keeping toes together Tabi boots seen on the catwalk at Margiela and Vetements. Let us splay.

Photograph: Getty Images

Dressing your dog up in a matching outfit Yes, it’s Year of the Dog. No, it’s not an excuse.

Kate Middleton’s hair To get the look, you need a hairdresser with £900 worth of kit. No do’s worth that, bbs.

Sport socks News just in! Replace with a hiking sock. As seen on the Acne catwalk and all the latest frows.

Real talk Instead, we’re phrasing things unambiguously, like our new hero, Phantom Thread’s Cyril Woodcock.

Regular champagne flutes Instead, we want ours to come with Nike swooshes. One of the “what-ifs?” posed by Nike geek account @miniswoosh.