The Desert Fathers

ANTHONY THE GREAT: let’s all move to the desert

there’s more God where sand is

PACHOMIUS THE GREAT: what if we all lived alone

but together

ANTHONY THE GREAT: what

PACHOMIUS THE GREAT: obviously mostly alone

but maybe a LITTLE bit together

so we don’t all have to build our own wells

ANTHONY THE GREAT: spiritually I don’t even want to talk about any food that isn’t bread

the greatest prayer of all is shutting up

DIOCLETIAN: more like the Desert Bothers

ATHANASIUS: [braids rope in total silence] ah man God’s gonna love this

BROTHERS: father Anthony

please give us your wisdom

instruct us

speak to us

ANTHONY THE GREAT: never

…you’re welcome

MACARIUS: I don’t want to talk to ANYONE who isn’t God

or maybe a bird God sent to visit me

or another monk who has seen a God-bird and wants to tell me about it

but that’s IT

PAUL OF THEBES: i’m going to go build a hut by myself and spend the rest of my life not leaving God alone

PAUL OF THEBES: God

God

God

hi God

hello God

hi God hi

God

God are you still there

hi God

God

God

God

God it’s me your old pal Paul of Thebes

SIMEON STYLITE: brothers it’s VERY important to God that i live on the smallest place there is

this sand isn’t enough anymore

gotta sit up on a stone wall and hurl prayers at God til he sends birds after me

ANTHONY THE GREAT: excuse me, fellas

gotta go look at some demons with my stern face

turn em into smoke

show em what’s what

DISCIPLE OF ARSENIUS THE GREAT: more like Ar-sinlessness the Great

MONK #1: you know what i hate

MONK #2: what

MONK #1: cities

and fellowship

living near someone

MONK #2: oh my wow

me too

MONK #1: oh wow

MONK #2: we have so much in common

MONK #1: ok well see you next year

MONK #2: talk then

JOHN COLOBOS: [silently basket-weaving] gonna fill this with holiness

HILARION: what is this

TWO cloaks?

what am I

the emperor??

i’ve only got one body and one God

what do I need two clothes for