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Ellen Leanse, "'Just' Say No", women2.0 2/17/2014 (republished as "Un'Just'", LinkedIn 5/15/2015, and "Google and Apple alum says using this one word can damage your credibility", Business Insider 6/25/2015 — the quotes are from the Business Insider version):

A few years back I noticed something: the frequency with which the word "just" appeared in email and conversation from female co-workers and friends. I first sensed this shortly after leaving Google and joining a company with a high ratio of female to male employees. […]

It hit me that there was something about the word I didn't like. It was a "permission" word, in a way — a warm-up to a request, an apology for interrupting, a shy knock on a door before asking "Can I get something I need from you?"

The more I thought about it, the more I realized that it was a "child" word, to riff Transactional Analysis. As such it put the conversation partner into the "parent" position, granting them more authority and control. And that "just" didn't make sense.

She reports a little experiment:

So I ran a test in the real world.

In a room full of young entrepreneurs, a nice even mix of men and women, I asked two people — a guy and a girl — to each spend three minutes speaking about their startups. I asked them to leave the room to prepare, and while they were gone I asked the audience to secretly tally the number of times they each said the word "just."

Sarah went first. Pens moved pretty briskly in the audience's hands. Some tallied five, some six. When Paul spoke, the pen moved … once. Even the speakers were blown away when we revealed that count.

We can easily check her hunch numerically on a larger sample of conversational speech — though not from "young entrepreneurs". In the Switchboard Corpus of transcribed telephone conversations, female speakers used the word just 12,285 times in 1,615,233 words, for a rate of 7.6 per thousand, whereas male speakers used just 9,997 times in 1,644,076 words, for a rate of 6.1 per thousand.

For a sample of informal written text, we can look at the PPC Facebook Corpus, where female participants used just 934,319 times in 219,774,851 words, for a rate of 4.25 per thousand. Male participants used just 487,831 times in 112,841,213 words, for a rate of 4.32 per thousand.

This is far from a strong confirmation of Ms. Leanse's hunch. And we can see what might be going wrong if we look at how just is actually used in these sources. A more-or-less random sample from the Switchboard Corpus:

not just merely had a farm but had ten children had a farm ran everything because her husband was away in the coal mines and you know facing that situation it it's quite a dilemma i think it was probably one of the most strengthening things for our family

getting down together and doing that and and just the children were involved in the decision because it involved just them yeah just because they're grandparents that doesn't automatically make them a good child carer right that's just a matter of defining priorities i guess uh-huh yeah t- t- tell me about it i just got rid of a a diesel engine Escort

well i um i i had good luck with [it] until it finally just blew up on me here a few weeks ago the people that were doing it it was just a racket to them i'm still astounded that that uh one they let anyone do them and two that they have any effectiveness whatsoever um because i'm usually so insulted by them i just hang up as soon as i recognize what they are yeah we get the full benefits but we've just really got a wonderful system that we're working under

In none of these examples, it seems to me, is just plausibly seen as "a 'child' word", that serves to "put the conversation partner into the 'parent' position".

Dictionaries support the view that self-belittling uses of just (the adverb) are far from the dominant case. Thus the M-W entry gives only the glosses

1 a : exactly, precisely <just right>

_b : very recently <the bell just rang>

2 a : by a very small margin : barely <just too late>

_b : immediately, directly <just west of here>

3 a : only, simply <just last year> <just be yourself>

_b : quite, very <just wonderful>

4 : perhaps, possibly <it just might work> — just about : almost <the work is just about done>

The American Heritage Dictionary gives the adverbial glosses

Precisely; exactly: just enough salt.

Only a moment ago: He just arrived.

By a narrow margin; barely: just missed being hit; just caught the bus before it pulled away.

At a little distance: just down the road.

Merely; only: just a scratch.

Simply; certainly: It's just beautiful!

Perhaps; possibly: I just may go.

The "only", "merely" and "perhaps" senses might sometimes be "child words", but by no means always, it seems to me.

The Oxford English Dictionary gets around to some perhaps-relevant usages under sense 6.c. of the entry for just adv.:

6. Used to place the focus on a particular word or phrase.

a. No less than; absolutely; actually, positively, really. In weakened sense: neither more nor less than, no other than; simply, merely. 2006 Build It May 46/1 It is such a simple structure, just a set of A-frames and purlins for the roof and a couple of pillars.

2004 J. McCourt Queer Street viii. 138 We taxi over from Kismet just to watch them—they're fantastic!

2011 C. Zimmer Planet of Viruses 13 Human rhinoviruses certainly impose a burden on public health, not just by causing colds but by opening the way for more harmful pathogens.

2011 New Yorker 10 Oct. 107/1 Jake. Jake. Jake. I can't say it enough. I just love the sound of his name. b. colloq. Used to emphasize the action expressed by a verb in exhortations, instructions, threats, exclamations, etc. 2004 J. Wilson Diamond Girls 19 You're getting way too lippy, madam. Just you watch it. c. Used to weaken the force of the action expressed by a verb, and so to represent it as unimportant. 1826 B. Disraeli Vivian Grey I. ii. xvii. 266 I'll just walk on, till I'm beneath her window.

1912 R. F. Scott Jrnl. Mar. in Last Exped. (1913) I. xx. 592 It was blowing a blizzard. He [sc. Captain Oates] said, ‘I am just going outside and may be some time.’

1955 E. Tarry Third Door v. 69 We don't want to get you in no trouble with the white folks, but could you just show us how to write a letter?

1995 .net June 77/1 You should be able to view GIF images automatically in all Web browsers by just clicking on the image. d. colloq. (chiefly Brit.). Used parenthetically to strengthen an assertion, a response, or (now usu.) a rhetorical question (usu. a negative one): certainly, definitely, indeed. 1943 K. Tennant Ride on Stranger iv. 37 ‘I don't believe you'd do that anyway yourself. Just grab money.’ ‘Wouldn't I just,’ her mentor said exultantly.

1969 P. O'Brian Master & Commander (1970) xi. 355 Oh, if I had his cullions in my hand, wouldn't I serve him out, just?

2010 J. McGregor Even Dogs (2011) iii. 63 Ben made sure the job got done. Didn't he just.

So to sum it all up, Ms. Leanse's specific lexical advice will probably not be helpful:

[M]aybe now that you've read this, you'll heighten your awareness of that word and find clearer, more confident ways of making your ideas known.

In other words, help take the "J Count" down. Take the word out of your sentences and see if you note a difference in your clarity — and even the beliefs that fuel the things you say.

It's actually easy, once you start paying attention. Like it?

If so, then, to riff Nike: well … "Do it."

Finding "clearer, more confident ways of making your ideas known" is a good idea. Avoiding the word just, on the whole, is unlikely to be an effective means to that end.

[Though I should add, echoing Terry Hunt's comment below, that things may be different in the tech-business context Ms. Leanse is writing about.]

An irrelevant lexicographical note — the cited article has two examples of riff as a transitive verb ("to riff Transactional Analysis"; "to riff Nike"), where "to riff X" apparently means "to improvise on a theme by X", or "to use an expression inspired by X", or maybe just "to approximately quote X".

This is an innovation, I think — COCA has 130 instances of "riff on", and 4 instances of "riff off of", etc., but no examples (as far as I could tell, of transitive riff.

It's a useful extension — I can't think of another word with exactly that meaning. I wonder whether there are other examples out there, and whether it'll catch on.

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