It’s a dirty world out there, no doubt. Air pollution, water pollution, chemical runoff, food additives, stress, inequality, and all manner of terrible movies. No wonder it’s hard to go anywhere without encountering the word “detox”. It used to be just for hard-core alcoholics and drug addicts beginning their recovery. But these days, detoxing is a cause celebre with everyone from alternative medicine guru Dr. Andrew Weil and Dr. Oz to Gwyneth Paltrow and Queen-of-All-Media Oprah Winfrey extolling the virtues of detox diets to “cleanse” the body of all those bad toxins, chemicals, additives, vibes, and blue meanies. There is only problem with this: detoxing doesn’t work, and worse, it could hurt you. Really hurt you…

The Healthy Diet website defines detox as “The metabolic process by which the body rids itself of poisonous substances.“ What could be wrong about detoxing your body? Nothing, actually. In fact, nature, through the process of evolution has provided our bodies with a lovely organ called the liver, which does just that. Also, our lungs, our kidneys, and our intestinal system (the gut). Toxic substances occur naturally (and unnaturally) in our food and environment. Not all of them are dangerous to our health. Those that are dangerous are effectively removed from our bodies by these organs in a matter of hours. No diets, elixirs, or other outside help required. “The body’s own detoxification systems are remarkably sophisticated and versatile,” Alan Boobis, a noted pharmacologist at the Imperial College in London, pointed out on the “Making Sense of Chemical Stories” website, “They have to be, as the natural environment that we evolved in is hostile.” One of the most poisonous substances consumed by humankind is alcohol. Yet, even when it is consumed at near-deadly doses, the liver will clear out the poison within 36 hours.

“It's an irrational concept, yet an intriguing idea, that modern life so fills us with poisons from polluted air and food additives that we need to be periodically ‘cleaned out’ (‘detoxified’),” internationally-known nutrition expert Frances M. Berg, founder of the Healthy Weight Network, and professor at the University of North Dakota School of Medicine says on the “Quackwatch” website: “Never mind that natural chemicals in our foods are thousands of times more potent than additives.”

All of us are walking around with traces of toxic substances in our bodies. In 2005, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention published a study, in which 2000 people were tested. Trace amounts of over 60 toxic substances were found. Sounds bad, right? But the CDC found no scientific evidence that the compounds were doing any harm to the health of these people.

But don’t we feel better after we “detox” our bodies? Lots of people swear by it. It seems like there are mountains of testimonials that attest to the miracle of cleansing. The word scientific in the previous paragraph is important. Despite all the testimonials about detoxing, there is just no science involved. There are no credible peer-reviewed papers, published or otherwise. There are no controlled experiments of sample sizes sufficient to prove the efficacy of the detox regimens. In fact, if you look at the labels on most detox packages, the promises are almost always extremely vague. The exact substances that are being removed from your body go unnamed, beyond the pseudo-scientific word “toxins.” Pharmacologist Dr. Roger Clemens, at the University of Southern California, and his colleague neurologist Dr. Peter Pressman, at the University of California San Francisco, explained to the Food Technology Journal that people may feel better after detoxing, but that is because of better diet during the “detox” (better food, more water, less alcohol and caffeine), not the detox tablets, elixirs, potions, or other miracle regimens that various charlatans sell them. Subjective testimonials cannot replace objective science in establishing the effectiveness of any medical treatment. Nor would you want it to.

The truth is that everything can be toxic. The toxicity of any substance is based on the amount consumed. You can die of a water overdose if you drink too much of it. “Detox is a ridiculous health concept promoted by those with little knowledge of nutrition, and offers no health benefit for the short term it is used,” says the Principal Dietician at St. George’s Hospital NHS Trust in England, Dr. Catherine Collins, on the “Making Sense of Chemical Stories” website. “The enduring myths associated with this silly concept makes the public ambivalent to their normal diet. The concept of ‘detox’ is a marketing myth rather than a physiological entity.”

As Dr. Derek Lohmann, a member of the Royal Society of Chemistry, asks on the “Sense About Science” website, “If someone came into your house and offered you a cocktail of butanol, iso amyl alcohol, hexanol, phenyl ethanol, tannin, benzyl alcohol, caffeine, geraniol, quercetin, 3-galloyl epicatchin, 3-galloyl epigallocatchin and inorganic salts, would you take it? It sounds pretty ghastly. If instead you were offered a cup of tea, you would probably take it. Tea is a complex mixture containing the above chemicals in concentrations that vary depending on where it is grown.” Not every chemical is bad and must be expunged from the body. In truth, everything is made of chemicals.

Even among alternative medicine practitioners, skepticism about detoxing can be found. “Evidence based detoxicology still seems quite far off,” writes Marc Cohen, professor of complementary and alternative medicine and president of the Australasian Integrative Medicine Association, in the journal 'Australian Family Physician.' “At present ‘detox’ is certainly more of a sales pitch than a science.”

So, here are some detox programs we should cast a skeptical eye on:

Chelation therapy

Chelation is a treatment for removing heavy metals like lead and mercury from the body. This is done by medically administering a substance (usually intravenously) that binds to the heavy metal and is then flushed out of the body through the kidneys. Adherents , claim chelation can cure, among other things, coronary heart disease and autism. As with other detox treatments, there is no scientific evidence of chelation’s effectiveness in removing plaque from the arteries, or any other positive medical outcome other than heavy metal removal. And raising vulnerable parents’ hopes about curing autism is downright evil. In fact, the treatment itself has been shown to cause electrolyte imbalances in the body, as well as organ damage.

Colon cleansing

The idea here is that “toxins” (usually unnamed) build up in the colon, creating a kind of cesspool in the body, releasing poisons and blocking the intestines from absorbing nutrients. Of course, that old bugaboo, evidence, is missing from these claims. In fact, the treatment itself was discounted way back in the early 20th century, and the Harvard Medical School Family Health Guide helpfully points out, “The rationale for intestinal cleansing—to dislodge material adhering to the colon walls—is fundamentally mistaken. When fecal matter accumulates, it compacts into firm masses in the open interior of the colon; it does not adhere to the intestinal walls as the ‘sludge’ depicted in the advertisements.” Dangers from colonic cleansing include spreading infection from contaminated equipment, and creating chemical imbalances (such as clearing potassium from the colon, a mineral that helps the body absorb nutrients).

Ionic foot baths

This is an interesting one. Here, patients put their feet in a solution of salt water, and when electrodes are placed in the water, the water turns color, supposedly indicating heavy metals and those old devil “toxins” are being magnetically pulled from the body through the feet through an “ionization” process. Sounds scientific, right? The only problem is, when it is tested, the water has no more heavy metals or toxins then when it was clear. The reason the water turns color is a reaction between the electrodes and the solution. No toxins necessary.

Whole body cleansing

Never mind the colon. Let’s go for the whole body. If we had as much poison in our systems as portrayed by the detox experts, the zombie apocalypse would surely be on the horizon. The idea behind whole body cleansing is that heavy perspiration through steam and sauna baths will eliminate toxins and rejuvenate the body. What does science say about this? Well, yes, the body does excrete some minute amount of toxic material when we sweat. The same bacteria that causes body odor. Then again you also excrete tiny amounts of toxic substance when you urinate. But the amount of poison is minuscule and not dangerous to the body. Some cultures actually drink their own urine for religious reasons. No one dies from doing so. The main purpose of sweating is not to eliminate toxins. It is to regulate body temperature. If you sweat too much, you can do grave damage to the body through dehydration. People with high blood pressure are warned not to go into saunas or steam rooms. Extreme dehydration can lead to circulatory issues, kidney failure, heat stroke, and even death.

Hair and urine testing

Tests on your hair and urine by the detox police indicate heavy metal overload! Solution? Chelation, of course. The problem? As outlined on the website “Quackwatch”, the tests are dubious at best. Oops… Read about it here:

Fasting

Super popular among the detox fashion-ista is fasting, which has the added benefit of making you skinnier, at least temporarily. Juice fasting, raw food fasting, veggie fasting, you name it. While there is little harm in going a few days living on just one food group, or even eliminating all food groups for a short time, there is also no evidence that fasting does any good either. Proponents cannot name any single substance that fasting eliminates from the body, in any quantity, or with any specific benefit. Only vague terms like “toxin” are bandied about.

Enemas, Ozone therapy, vitamins, massage, acupuncture, etc.

Take your pick. Each of these supposed treatments has the same problem. No science behind the pseudo-scientific claims. Some of them may feel good (massage), others may afford some protection from scurvy (vitamin C) or Beri Beri (B vitamins). Some of them can be harmful (enemas). None of them can make a scientific claim to effectiveness.

What drives all these treatments? Money, of course. There is a lot of cash to be made playing to the fears of people living in an ever more complicated world. Just ask the snake oil salesmen of the 19th century. Some things never change.

As the website Making Sense of Chemical Stories states, “This process (detoxification) does not occur any more effectively as a result of taking “detox” tablets, wearing “detox” socks, having a “detox” body wrap, eating nettle root extract, drinking herbal infusions, following a special “detox” diet or using any of the other products and rituals that are promoted.”

The best solution to the ills of our “toxic” world? Drink a glass of water and get a good night’s sleep. Then call me in the morning. Guaranteed to feel better. And the science backs it up.