Local queen Emory Wallace stunned everyone when she was able to recall the precise date of her last period at her doctor’s appointment this week.

“Most people have to go scrolling through their calendar, trying to remember what event they were inconvenienced at recently,” says Emory’s OBGYN, Linda Gully. “A lot of my patients who are moms will just stare into space for a while. But Emory just knew it right away. I’ve never seen anything like it before in my career.”

A humble hero, Emory is unfazed by her rare accomplishment.

“I just like to be in tune with what’s going on with my body,” she explains. “And I knew this question would come up so I checked my calendar and was like, yep, it was that day.”

Whoa! Listen to this menses calendar queen!!!

Even the nurses at Dr. Linda’s office were impressed.

“Even I couldn’t tell you the last time I got my period,” says physician’s assistant Amadi Owens, who got Emory settled in her exam room. “And my period is noticeable. Like soaking-through-a -mattress –and-ruining-my-life type shit. But I’ll be damned if I could tell you it was this week or the week before. I’m tired.”

“I don’t know how she does this,” says Wallace’s roommate Ashley Powers. “It’s like some kind of superpower.”

“I already told you. You just mark it in a calendar,” Emory explained again.

Yaaass, boss lady! Slay that period tracking!