In my time in the online RPG community, I have played with, admired, and supported Zak Smith / Sabbath. I considered him a friend. I defended him publicly. I made work for him.

I won’t be doing all that any more.

Mainly I feel ashamed. I feel like I was charmed by somebody I didn’t really know. And I _let_ myself be charmed because they were a nexus of social power in a community I wanted to be part of.

Also I feel annoyed. People like me (my skin colour, my background, etc; I hesitate to say “marginalised”, but that is what I am vis a vis the Anglo-American centre) are _useful_. A bad person may obfuscate their badness by offering genuine support to a person like me.

My opinions re: games are still my own, thankfully. And while I am distressed that some cool stuff I made is now tied up in Zak’s Demon City – that stuff stays cool regardless. (And if Zak hurts women the pontianak will eat him.)

I should be more guarded about the seemingly cool people I meet online. I should have been more careful, before. I will be, now.



+



Context:



https://www.facebook.com/amandapatricianagy/posts/10215845527064252

http://falsemachine.blogspot.com/2019/02/you-should-read-this.html

http://monstermanualsewnfrompants.blogspot.com/2019/02/obituary-for-zak-sabbath.html

