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Q.Was there ever a part of you that had to struggle with the idea that you didn’t want to have children? Was that a part you that had to come to terms with the fact that your lack of desire was at odds with what was expected of you?

A. Personally, no. It was always part of my personality. I always had other interests before children so I wasn’t giving up on anything. I know some people who are not going to have children for environmental or political reasons, but that wasn’t the case for me.

Q.When you try to explain that to people, what’s the reaction?

A. Most people simply don’t believe me. They don’t think it’s possible for a woman to not want children. Most of the time people look at me and say ‘Oh, you’re going to change your mind.’ Which I find very condescending. I’ve lived with myself for 37 years and they have known me for 22 seconds and they think they know me better than I do. I find that quite disrespectful.

Sometimes they will ask me why I don’t want to have children — but only for them to deconstruct my reasons. They try to make me feel like I’m going to be missing out on the best thing in life, that this is the best life you can have for myself. But the best life I can have for myself will be different than the best life you can have for you. There’s also this feeling of belonging. There is such a thing as a maternity club. People want you to be part of it. I stand outside that club, and it makes people feel uncomfortable.

Q.How do your parents react? Are they upset about not having grandchildren?