Navigating the pitfalls of prejudice, sex and dating in Australia

Updated

Many years ago, a guy I had recently started dating sent a photo of me to his mum, with a note: "Hi Mum! I've just started seeing this lovely new person, I'm really excited for you to meet her."

His mum replied with something along the lines of: "Be careful. Asians are sneaky. The Vietnamese family who run the corner shop never give me the right change."

We're writing a story about romance and prejudice, and we're keen to hear your stories. (Please note this survey has now closed.)

Navigating the world of dating and sex is tough enough without the added pitfalls of prejudice — even in a country as diverse as Australia.

Sometimes the prejudice is thinly veiled. "I have had partners/partner's family believe I am more likely to cheat because I am bi[sexual]," Rose, 29, says.

"Before they knew I was bi there were never comments about the possibility of me cheating. But when they found out, they would act like it was something I would do."

Other times it's more obvious. "My partner is of Chinese-Malaysian heritage," Dave, 32, says.

"I was once asked by an old white man how much I paid for her."

Then there are those times when the prejudice is relentless and comes from those whose support we want most.

"I once dated a man who suffers from a substance addiction. I was pretty appalled by the amount of shaming and slurs I encountered from some of my friends and family," says Greta (not her real name).

They ranged from indirect comments about "heroin junkies", "crack addicts" and "meth heads", she says, "to directly telling me he was a junkie and a waste of time".

Share your stories about romance and prejudice

These are just a few examples of how prejudice can rear its head in some of our most intimate spaces. But prejudice comes in all shapes and sizes. We want to hear about your experiences.

Perhaps you've had a date pass judgment on your religion, appearance or gender identity. Maybe your girlfriend's drunk uncle had a go at your political views or social class. Or maybe people cast aspersions on you and your partner for having a big age gap or not speaking the same language. You tell us.

On the other hand, maybe you are the one who has behaved badly, passing judgment on someone for being divorced, married or polyamorous. Maybe you reacted badly when your son introduced you to his transgender partner or your daughter told you her new boyfriend has a disability or mental health issue.

None of us are perfect. Send us your confessions.

Your anecdotes will be published in an article for ABC News in November. Ideally, you'll also send a photo of yourself or you and our partner (if you're still together!) but this isn't mandatory.

We will publish your name, age and location alongside your story unless tell us not to.

And if you prefer to share your story anonymously, just enter any character into the mandatory fields. We'd still love to hear from you.

Tap to share your story

(Please note this survey has now closed.)

Powered byScreendoor.

The ABC is using the Screendoor tool for this survey and any information used will be in accordance with the ABC privacy policy.

If you don't want to fill in this form and would prefer to speak to a reporter in confidence, please email: ting.inga@abc.net.au

Topics: relationships, community-and-society, australia

First posted