Lindsay Lohan's much-discussed "boobs, ass, and vag" Playboy photoshoot has leaked online in its entirety (NSFW link) and it's a massive letdown. First, there is no "vag." Second, they photoshopped out her freckles and tattoos, which is a pretty significant change; we aren't looking at Lindsay, but a Lindsay-shaped work of graphic art. Third, this is just the poor man's version of her other nude Marilyn Monroe photoshoot, which appeared in New York in 2008.

In other words, Playboy paid Lindsay Lohan a rumored $1 million for a cheesier, faker version of something she did for free in a mainstream publication three years ago. (New York's version even showed more pubic region! Albeit through transparent scarves.) Yes, she looks beautiful, but check out all the things these photos are missing:

Rib tattoo: Billy Joel lyrics.

Butt tattoo: "La bella vita."

Forearm tattoo: Marilyn Monroe quote.

Assorted hand and wrist tattoos: A star, a heart, "shhh," "breathe."

Freckles, in some pictures.

Originality.

Honesty in butt photoshopping. Should it really be so... pointy?

We're disappointed in you, Hef. Yes, Lindsay looks pretty in these pictures, but we've seen more interesting nudes on Miley Cyrus' MySpace page. America expects better of its professional peddlers of smut. [NSFW Fleshbot, Hypervocal, top image via Getty]