I got my card!! It came all the way from Switzerland (I think? Maybe Germany? I still need to do more research but that makes it even more fun!)

Here's my initial attempt at the translation:

"Alright, huh? We hope you have a proper mint Christmas! Don't get overly drunk or your mom will small you!

I hope this reaches you in time for Santa Claus to come down your chimney and we wish you and yous all the best for a bonny Christmas!"

Thank you Paul and James! The card was fun with the glitter and I'm having a good time trying to figure out where this came from. =)