Day One Hundred and Eight: Sunrise Peak

A/N: Surprise! Happy Valentine's Day to all you other lonely sons of bitches like me. If you've got no love to spend it with, why not live vicariously to the twisted love-life of Elsa and Anna?

...I need like...a hug or something.

You know in hindsight, a relationship between Aurora and I would have ended horribly. She got me back to doing things I vowed never to do again like getting blackout drunk and destroying private property. And I kept wanting her approval, and her company so fucking bad. I lost myself a little bit near the end...and the middle...and maybe the beginning? And although her impulsiveness may have been good at the start, who knew how long it would take before that bit me in the ass.

She was like me in a lot of ways, the problem with that is...sometimes I barely like being me.

Plus, you know, there was the whole lying to me about her boyfriend thing. That's kind of a dealbreaker for me. But enough about Aurora, let's talk about me and Elsa.

Wait, not like that. I meant like let's talk about what me and Elsa are doing right now. Shit, that sounds even worse.

Hiking! We're fucking hiking! Why do I make everything sound so goddamn weird? Ugh.

"You okay over there?"

I shake my head and tilt my head up, I must have started going slower because Elsa's way further along the trail than I remember. A good fifty feet maybe. "Uh y-yeah, just taking in the view!"

I jog over to her, passing by the vast space of dirt, rocks, and nothingness between us. She eyes me curiously, "If you say so."

"What? You don't know, maybe I have a thing about dirt."

Elsa snorts, "Come on, we're almost there."

I was never much of a hiker before I met Elsa, I was perfectly fine only getting any physical activity done at the gym. But then one day I made the mistake of letting her plan a date, and she dragged me to this mountain trail near her apartment.

I ended up loving it.

There's just something about being out here in the quiet, only hearing the wind, and your shoes crunching on the rocks underneath you, that feels very therapeutic. It's like one way or another, you leave all of your problems at the trailhead and get out of your mind for a little bit. Or at the very least, get your thoughts straight.

Which we both need right now.

As we walk, I can't help but notice that there's a different energy to Elsa. A mix of peacefulness and excitement, like she's ready to both walk along this trail for hours, or burst forward and leave me in the dust. It's something I haven't seen since the day at Grand Arendelle Park.

Hopefully, today will have a different result.

"Is there something on my face?"

I blink, "Wha…?"

Elsa points a finger at her cheek, "You're staring at me. Do I have something on my face?"

"No! Uh no, sorry I just spaced out. That's all." Ugh, why does this keep happening? All I did was think about telling Elsa about Aurora, and suddenly I can't focus on anything other than that. And I'm not even sure I want to tell her today, either, but it feels like the timing's right. That's all. I don't have to, but I feel like I should.

She moves the hand that was near her cheek back to the top of her chest, she's been doing that a lot today too. "Umm...well I gotta ask again: are you okay, Anna?"

"Me? Yeah! I-I'm fine, it's been a while since I've been on a hike, I guess."

"And it's because we're out here alone, isn't it?"

"What? Why would you say that? We're always alone in the room," I reason.

"Yeah, but you and I always have some way to escape if something goes wrong. I'm sorry if I made you come out here when you didn't want to, but I did ask." Elsa pauses to drink from her water bottle and then gestures with it, "Thank you for coming with me, though."

Huh, that's new. I don't think I've ever heard Elsa add something after needlessly apologizing, and I certainly didn't expect it to be a thank you for doing the bare minimum. I wonder what other surprises are waiting for me today. "N-no problem. It's not that I didn't want to, it's not about you at all, it's…"

"You're nervous."

I almost trip on a pebble. When I regain my composure, I say, "Holy shit, how can you tell?"

She laughs and then gives me a sheepish grin, "Because so am I. You're not the only one that's got a lot on her mind today, Anna."

Right, there's that big confession or whatever that she has to tell me. Part of me is nervous about that, too. What is she gonna tell me about Mystery Bitch™? Am I going to find out who she is? Did she...do something to Elsa?

I shake that thought out of my head before I ruminate on it further. ...I don't think I used that word correctly this time, fuck it.

"You know you don't have to say anything if you don't want to."

Elsa looks at me seriously, "I want to, and I need to."

I...don't know what to say about that. Elsa senses my hesitation and lets out another nervous laugh, "Yeesh, that was a little too serious, huh? Come on, we're almost there. We can talk about easier, sillier stuff on the way. It might help us both."

Sunrise Peak is this tucked-away that's part of the greater area of Arendelle Mountain Park. It's not the longest hike or even the highest, but it is one of Elsa's favorites.

The almost one-hour trek through winding dirt roads, naturally-shaped stairs made out of rocks, and a slight climb to the top of the hill reward you with a modest view of the city. The best time to hike here is around 4 AM, because when the sun rises (hence the name), you can see the horizon bathing Arendelle with a bright, orange glow.

Thankfully, Elsa didn't wake me up that early.

The sun's already bright and high when we reach the peak of the hill. The slight breeze makes me wish I wore a jacket, or at least something thicker than a tank top. Elsa's wearing the same outfit, but I doubt she's cold.

Since the sun rose hours ago, there isn't anyone up here with us, and no one else is close enough on the trail that we can see. Which is very convenient.

There are a few boulders large enough to sit on. Elsa takes a seat and pats the boulder next to her with an inviting smile. I'm still hesitant to be close to her when we're all alone like this, but I sit anyway because my feet are killing me.

She sighs, taking in the view. And I do the same, looking off towards Central Arendelle.

"I can see Arendelle Towers from here," I say while pointing at the massive building. Everything looks so small and insignificant from up here. It's hard to believe that I've spent my entire life in a city that's bustling and alive from the inside, but tranquil and silent from the outside.

Elsa points to a bush-like clump of trees, "And there's Central Arendelle Park."

"I can see my old apartment. And yours." Surprisingly, this quaint game of I-Spy is actually helping. It's nice to have these moments without controversy and chaos. "Do you miss it?"

"My apartment? Eh, kinda. The dishwasher still acts up, and I left a bit of a mess in my room that I'm not looking forward to cleaning up when I get back."

I test the waters and let out a more-than-slightly nervous chuckle, "You're probably gonna have to wait a while for that."

Elsa laughs too, but it's more confident than mine, "Yeah, you're probably right. I like Arendelle Towers a lot more if I'm being honest. The beds are nice, and I forgot how much I missed spending time in the heart of the city. Ever since we broke up, I haven't been to Central Arendelle as much."

"Oh...sorry about that." Huh, I didn't mean to say that. It's like you apologize to your ex-girlfriend once and suddenly that's all you can do.

"Hey, that's my line," Elsa says amused.

"Sorry. Shit, I did it again. Sorry, I- fuck!" I groan.

She laughs, "It's hard to stop once you keep going, huh?"

I roll my eyes and frown, "I don't know how you do it."

It's like this for a little bit longer. Innocent, harmless banter on top of a big, pointy rock whilst sitting on smaller, less-pointier rocks. And the longer we talk, the more I realize...how much I missed this.

Maybe it took a few horrible arguments to get here, but talking with Elsa feels nice now. Uncomplicated. It's not a chore, or something that I dread. Yeah, there's still some awkwardness here but I feel like that's always gonna be the case.

Right now, though, it doesn't seem as insurmountable as it used to be.

At some point, though, Elsa sighs and I take that as a sign that the conversation's about to take a more serious turn. "So…" she starts, "There's something I have to tell you about my ex-girlfriend. Well, I guess it's more accurate to say that I need to tell you who she was."

I nod, hoping that my anxiousness isn't too noticeable. I mean, at least I think it's anxiousness.

She's put her hand back on top of her chest, near her neck, and does that thing where she closes her eyes for a while and breathes. At least now I know that she isn't going to fall asleep or faint, so I don't need to intervene.

"She was..unpredictable, but I liked that. I never knew whether she'd want to go out on an adventure, or spend time with me on campus, or just chill at her apartment while we were talking on the phone. She was bold and daring, everything was new with her. It was exciting and fun, and she really got me out of my shell."

There's a look of fondness on her face while she talks, I've seen this before. We've sorta had this conversation before, but I know that she knows that. And when she frowns, I know I'm about to hear the catch.

"But she was also rude and stubborn, sometimes she'd say something that wouldn't sit right with me and would never apologize for it. And sometimes she'd say something mean about me, and still wouldn't apologize. She'd forget plans that we made, and would never suggest dates in advance. Most of her planned dates were her calling me and telling me she was gonna pick me up in half an hour."

Elsa places both her hands back on her lap, "I didn't think those were dealbreakers or red flags, maybe because I was too blind to see them or just didn't wanna be alone. But looking back, the relationship was so unhealthy. Even if I thought she was the one…"

Hearing that doesn't sit right me, because there was a time when I thought Elsa was the one. But this isn't about me.

"And then you…"

Wait, what?

"I don't know what you were up to a couple of months ago, but the way you were acting reminded me of her. And I'm sorry, but it scared me. Sometimes I looked at you, I would see her, and it would take me back to those days."

I let out a choked breath, "Oh shit, Elsa I'm so fucking sorry. If I had known-"

"Please, let me finish," Elsa interrupts calmly, "I'm not mad at you. How could you know what she was like? I didn't really tell you anything about her. But it did hurt, and I needed to remind myself that you weren't her. What you and I had, was so much better than what she and I had. You were stubborn and rude too, but you really cared about me and would listen and plan things out. I...sorry, talking about our relationship probably makes you uncomfortable."

"No, I- actually it doesn't." Should it?

Her eyes widen, and I swear I see a little smile twitch on her lips, "Oh, well that's good. Anyway, that's why I was acting so weird around you- that, and my therapist changed my medication recently. I was battling my mind, and I know I was doing some pretty stupid stuff too like signing the release form. I hope you can forgive me for how I've been acting."

She pauses, longer than the ones before this. And when she looks at me with sad, blue eyes, I know that she's finally looking for a response. I don't even have to think about it.

I move around so that my body is facing her, "Elsa, you don't need to apologize. I was being a real bitch because of who I was seeing. You weren't doing anything wrong, it was all me."

"Anna…" she sighs, "Thank you."

Again I'm caught off-guard, I was already thinking of other arguments she could have made. Not knowing what to do now, I smile at her and tuck some hair back behind my ear.

Elsa lets out another breath, a sigh of relief it seems like. "Wow, I feel so much better now that I got that off my chest."

"I bet you do," I say with a chuckle.

"Now there's only one thing left to do." Even more surprises, this is turning out to be a very interesting day. And the least complicated one we've had in a while. At least it is, until I remind myself that I need to tell her who I was seeing. Which kickstarts my heart fiercely.

But I've got time because Elsa apparently has one last thing on her list. She reaches under her shirt and pulls out a necklace, and there's a ring on it. I've seen this ring before, and it clicks that this was probably was she was touching when she kept putting her hand on her chest.

I doubt she's about to propose, so I just wait anxiously to figure out what this is about.

"This was the ring I was going to propose to her with." Ick, well I was a tiny bit right. "I held onto it this whole time, not because I was hoping she'd come back one day, but because I wanted to remind myself of why it hurt too much to love again."

That's...I should be offended. I should be so fucking offended. But this isn't about me, and I have to believe that she's telling me this now for a reason. So I clench my hands on the boulder and bite my tongue.

"But I can't have this reminder anymore." She holds the ring up to her face and frowns, "I can't have her ghost haunting me anymore. I need to say goodbye."

And then Elsa stands up and walks to the edge of the hilltop, and something compels me to follow her. But I keep a respectable distance, knowing that right now this is her moment. She wanted me to come so that she could apologize and explain her actions.

But this moment...it's just for her.

Still, I can't help the smile that grows on my face, seeing this confident and independent Elsa that I haven't seen...ever. Holy shit. This is a new Elsa, one that I'm comfortable around, one that I wouldn't mind being around.

She clutches the necklace, and the ring, in her hand and throws it far, far away. It glints from the sun's rays before disappearing somewhere into the trees. I give her a few more moments to herself before walking to her, deciding that it was finally time for me to come clean too. Racing heart be damned.

I put a hand on her shoulder, but she speaks one more time before I can say anything. It's soft and said mostly to herself, but I can still hear it. And I wish I hadn't, because what she says stops my racing heart for a second, and sends a massive ton of bricks crashing down on to me:

"Goodbye, Aurora."