Amish Han Solo, in Witness

Hey, we know it can get pretty serious sometimes here at the old A.V. Club Newswire. Ominous “surprises” from police, Fox News nerd-baiting, rapping presidential candidates; it all adds up to make the world feel a little scary, and a little cold. Sometimes, you need to get away from it all, and just curl up with a story about a new movie where an Amish guy goes exploring in space.


The swirling ideas marketplace known as the American Film Market has you covered, friends, with Variety reporting that newcomer studio Jorgenson Pictures is developing a movie based on Pennsylvania, a novel by author Michael Bunker. The book tells the story of a “a young Amish man who signs up for an emigration program to help colonize the planet of New Pennsylvania,” only to encounter trouble when a rebellion breaks out on his new homeworld, endangering the raising of life-giving space-barns. (We assume.)

And sure, a look into Bunker’s background—according to his About The Author page, he’s “an off-grid farmer, author, historian, philosopher, iconoclast, husband, and father of four living children” who writes books about survivalism, idol worship, and “Christianity in the crosshairs”—might push things back to “kind of grim and awful” territory once again. But come on, who can focus on that when presented with the spectacle of The Rumspringa From Beyond The Stars, complete with a fully operational (and, to be fair, imaginary) battle station we’re calling The Death Shun? (Also, for what it’s worth, the success of Pennsylvania might mean someone takes a chance on adapting Bunker’s other science-fiction novel, Brother, Frankenstein, which we are delighted to inform you is about an Amish Frankenstein.)