“We think it’s important not to discriminate here, just because somebody can’t see doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be allowed to drive our streets.” Carol Makeuwait, ADOTS Primary Public Relations Director says.

“We hope to utilize the big screens in Harkins to make testing easier for those people.”

ADOT hopes to build a driving simulator in Theatre 6 to act as a training tool, where there will probably just be an ongoing screening of The Fast and the Furious.

“We think it’s important for people who ‘shouldn’t be driving’ to be able to vacate their homes during the next snow storm.” Makeuwait states.

While there seems to have been an increase in decent drivers this past snowstorm, Flagstaff MVD is excited to see how they can influence drivers in the next storm.

“My license expired three months ago, I went back to retest but I couldn’t read the street signs. I’m excited to see the signs on the big screen. If I can’t read it I will at least memorize the shape and what it means.” Says 86 year old Charlamain Cataracts, who was diagnosed as far sighted last summer.

“A lot of family members have been very discriminatory ever since I almost hit that little boy crossing the road. It’s not my fault the lights aren’t a brighter red. I’m glad Flagstaff is shutting down all these judgemental republicans.” Cataracts continued.

We at FlagSpammer just hope that the lines may move a little faster with a much larger workspace but Ms. Makeuwait says that won’t be possible.

Expected to open as soon as December 23. Read the full (real) story here.