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Behind the wire of the notorious Goulburn jail, a prisoner's momentary lapse almost let his dangerous secret slip out. The inmate, a prison guard from the ACT, knew his job would put a target on his back for the four months he spent in custody on deeply flawed rape accusations, abandoned by prosecutors last month. It was a secret that was hard to keep in a prison full of whispers. Constant awareness allowed him to stay two steps ahead during his brief forays out of solitary confinement - steering conversations to safety, warning guards not to treat him favourably, befriending inmates, inventing backstories, and watching for the faces of Canberra criminals who might recognise him. "You were trying to be the grey man," he said, speaking for the first time since the case against him collapsed. "You were trying to blend in, but you can't come across squeaky clean either, otherwise they'll think something's up." His efforts almost came undone in one jail yard encounter, when he let slip he had to go back to court in Canberra. That, he knew, would lead to questions; why wasn't he in the Alexander Maconochie Centre? Why was he on remand in Goulburn for an ACT crime? "I really had to backpedal quickly, and I was quite mindful I was doing that and I didn't want them to catch on." Luckily, his slip-up didn't arouse suspicion, the consequences of which could have been serious, he said. "I probably wouldn't be talking to you right now, that's for sure," he said,. The guard, who cannot be named, was accused of bashing and raping his ex-girlfriend, a former NSW police worker who had started a new relationship with a NSW officer. But he was freed on bail in unique circumstances in late July after serious questions were raised about his accuser's credibility. The woman, with whom he was locked in a Family Court dispute, had been put under covert surveillance by ACT detectives, who had become suspicious about her ongoing claims. What they found was enough to help persuade prosecutors to drop the case, months after they charged the woman with making false accusations about her ex's family. The initial handling of the rape claims is currently the subject of an internal Australian Federal Police investigation, and one officer is understood to have quit already. The guard, also a former AFP member, did his time interstate, locked down in a cell for all but one hour of the day, something designed to protect him. His first moments in Goulburn were something he'll never forget. "That was by far the longest day and the longest night I've ever had in my entire life," he said. "Not too proud to say, I cried myself to sleep that night... I definitely hit rock bottom." The case has ruined his career in Corrective Services, he said, and hit his finances significantly in court costs. The episode has also left the former guard and cop with a dim view of justice in the ACT. "You have such faith in the justice system that you know what you're doing is right and only certain people go to jail. "It just shatters everything you ever thought... it really shows how flawed it can be." As the days dragged on in custody, he said the only thing that kept him going was the support of his family and friends. "Having nothing, just four walls and your own thoughts, that is just absolute torture." He said the work of the detectives who put his ex-girlfriend under surveillance went some way to restoring his faith in police. "It takes a lot to investigate your own," he said. "I do have a high regard for the detectives who did do that, and they're the reason I am where I am now." His lawyer Peter Woodhouse, of Ben Aulich and Associates, said civil action will now be considered. A number of outstanding common assault charges are expected to be withdrawn from the ACT Magistrates Court at a later date. His ex-girlfriend, who also cannot be named for legal reasons, has been committed to stand trial in the ACT Supreme Court on charges of making false accusations and causing public mischief. No trial date has yet been set.

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