One steamy screenshot ahead

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Okay, so last night was freaking amazing. Like, seriously fucking awesome.

It definitely didn’t start out that way though… Or end that way either, actually.

But like, in the grand scheme of things, the amazingness probably wins?

So anyway, D&D was a total freaking bust. Hallie was SO bored. She barely even gave it a chance! It was awful. And I felt so bad for Tam.

He’d been working so hard setting up this campaign for us, and we totally ended up ditching him. Jasper was the only one who stayed behind. And I can’t figure out if he was like, trying to be all loyal or whatever, or if he just figured Papa and Rubi wouldn’t let him go out with us… Maybe both?

Anyway, I felt so guilty. And I think Bryce and Meg did too, a little? But they’ve never really been into game night the way me, Jasper, and Tam are. I think they would’ve been totally cool with any excuse to get out of there… And Hallie totally gave us one.

And like, I couldn’t say no to her, could I? Ugh, it still felt so wrong though. I know I was a shitty friend for leaving like that. And I knew Tam was super pissed at me (and like, could I really blame him for that?)

But I knew he’d come around. He’d understand why I left. And he did.

He totally got why I did it, and he forgave me too. Especially when I told him what happened at the bowling alley last night.

It started out okay, I guess. We had a couple beers and played some of those super overpriced arcade games. Then me and Bryce bought a round of bowling for all of us. Definitely fun, but nothing super exciting or anything.

But then things got WAY better.

We only made it like two frames in before Hallie asked me if I wanted to go ‘take a walk’ with her. And holy shit, the way she was looking at me… I totally knew she wanted to do a lot more than just ‘take a walk’.

And I was right.

We ended up in that empty lot behind the bowling alley. She pushed me right up against the side of the building. It was so fucking hot. We’ve made out tons of times before and stuff, but never like that. Not even close.

I swear to God, I almost died when she started taking her shirt off. And when her bra came off too, like… WOAH.

I seriously couldn’t believe what was happening. I’d never even seen a real pair of boobs before. Not in real life. Just on the internet and stuff. And hers were way, way better. I could have stared at them all freaking night.

But she ended up letting me do a lot more than just stare.

I had absolutely no freaking clue what the hell I was doing, but I didn’t care. And I don’t think Hallie cared either. Those noises she was making… It was the hottest thing ever. I dunno if doing stuff to her boobs is enough to make a girl, like… you know. But I think maybe she did?

Either way, I know she was super into it. And so was I. Like, way into it. It felt like I was gonna explode or something… And like, I’m pretty sure almost did (UGH could you imagine? In my freaking pants?! Oh my God…)

Anyway, it was totally freaking epic. And I was SO sure we were gonna keep going.

But we didn’t.

After a while, she just kinda pushed my head away and said “That was nice.” Then she gave me a kiss, put her shirt back on, and asked me to walk her home.

I felt like such an ass for feeling kind of annoyed about it. But there was all that build up and stuff and then we just… stopped. It was like freaking torture. I mean like, who wouldn’t be dying a little bit if they were me?

I didn’t tell her that though, obviously. If she doesn’t wanna do any more than that yet, I’m cool with it. I can be patient. And what she did wanna do was pretty freaking awesome. So I guess I really can’t complain, huh? Who would, after getting to do that?!

I guess it was really the way she acted after that bothered me the most.

She just stared at her phone like, the entire way back to her place. I think she looked up from it like, twice. Otherwise, she had her nose practically buried in the stupid thing. I really wanted to hold her hand or something, but I couldn’t. Her hands were too busy with her phone. And I kept trying to talk to her and stuff, and she just gave me these super short answers. It’s like she wasn’t even paying attention to a word I said.

At first I thought maybe I like, did something wrong. I mean, like I said, I had no idea what I was doing. But then I remembered how much she was into it. And I just knew it couldn’t be that.

Then it reminded me of how bored and like, totally not-interested she was during game.

And it kinda made me start thinking… Was it really the game that was boring her? Or was it me?

I never really thought about it too much before last night. But I guess one of the only things we really do together is make out. Or play video games. And that stuff’s great.

But then a lot of the time I just kinda sit there while she messes around on her phone and texts her friends. Or sometimes she’ll make me sit through an episode of one of her stupid Netflix shows. And I try really hard to pay attention and stuff. Some of the episodes aren’t even so bad, once I give them a chance.

But as soon as I try talking about something I like, it’s like I’m putting her to sleep or something. She doesn’t even pretend she’s interested. Usually she ends up playing around on her phone and not even paying attention to anything I say. Then she’ll usually start complaining until we end up doing something she wants to do. Just like last night.

And it totally sucks.

But… it’s not like it’s ALL bad either.

When we’re making out, it’s like, the best feeling in the whole world. And she tells the funniest jokes… No one makes me laugh the way she does. Plus, I’m pretty sure she’s the only person in the world who can totally kick my ass at Space Dementia 4. That’s what the two of us kinda bonded over in the first place. I love it when we just hang out in the basement playing video games.

Or, y’know, when she’s taking her shirt off behind the bowling alley. That’s pretty freaking great too.

Like I said before, the amazingness totally wins out. I seriously don’t think I’ll ever forget last night. Ever.

It’s just that it’s kinda hard to 100% forget about the not-so-amazing stuff too.

I dunno. It’s hard to explain.

I guess it’s kinda like one of those weird optical illusion pictures?

Like, you look at it from one angle, and everything looks a certain way. And your brain is like “Oh, okay, that works. I see what’s going on here. That makes sense.”

But then you try looking at it another way, and everything changes.

And you kinda realize that maybe things didn’t make quite as much sense as you thought they did?

And at first, it totally fucks with your head. You start wondering which one is real… The one that made perfect sense? Or the one that was all messed up?

Then you realize that maybe they’re BOTH real.

But once you’ve seen both versions, there’s no way you can un-see either one.

You never see that picture the same way again.