Crass Release Box Set Directly Into Dumpster in Effort to Reach Core Fans

LONDON – Crass frontman Steve Ignorant announced plans for a new Crass box set in an impromptu press conference to gathered members of the media (and curious vagrants) behind a local Aldi market, yesterday. In a bold statement against the state of digital music distribution, Ignorant announced the band will attempt to reach its fans in the most efficient way possible: releasing the new box set directly into dumpsters around the United Kingdom and the United States.

The Crass Garbage to Garbage box set is said to contain over 100 exclusive B-sides, hours of in-studio rambling, and never-before-seen butt flap art produced by the band over its 15 year career. Carefully packaged in a low-quality cardboard box, the bundle will be placed in exclusive dumpsters, rewarding loyal Crass fans for their foraging.

“Making money is very Anti-Crass, so what we have decided to do — as a movement — is to release our most sought-after works directly into our fan’s natural habitat: behind ‘consumer brothels’ and ‘food traffickers’ that would never understand the true sound of the Crass Movement,” said an impassioned Steve Ignorant.

Within hours, Crass’ label in the United States, Southern Records, released a statement clarifying the exact distribution of the box set.

“We would like to confirm the reports of an upcoming release of a new Crass box set. Unfortunately, Mr. Ignorant’s announcement of the Crass Garbage to Garbage box set failed to clarify what kind of ‘dumpster’ would carry the collection here in the United States. By ‘dumpster’ Mr. Ignorant was referring to regional Hot Topic and Torrid stores,” Southern Record’s Public Relations Director Danielle Soto, said. “We don’t condone capitalism here at Southern Records — but we do honor our previous commitments to our apparel and media contracts.”

No official release date has been announced for the box set, but experts expect it to hit dumpsters sometime around late July or early August to achieve optimal hot garbage smell.

Article by Justin Lentz. Photo by Gothamist.