Is it possible to request a back massage without it being construed as sexual? Having experienced, witnessed, and even contributed in all kinds lurid innuendo, I won’t say it’s impossible. I’ll just note that it’s extremely improbable, given our collective immaturity when it comes to sexual matters.

That’s a shame too because there are times when we genuinely need a back massage for entirely non-sexual reasons. One of the first jobs I ever had was at a fast food restaurant. At that job, I spent a good deal of time bending over to clean dirt, mud, and even baby vomit on one fateful night. That was murder on my back, as well as my dignity.

I endured long stretches of back problems that only got better after I quit that job. When I was dating my ex-girlfriend, she had her share of soreness too, due to unrelated health issues. Sometimes, giving each other a soothing, non-sexual back massage was genuinely welcome. I would even go so far as to call it incredibly romantic.

There’s always room for the sexier side of massages. However, there’s also a place for the less seamy kind of back massages. They can be sexy without getting too sexual. They can even be gestures of genuine romance. This week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts is dedicated to both. I even encourage every couple out there to try both at some point today. Enjoy!

“Thinking before you act can have very mixed results when you’re really horny.”

“Those who give great oral sex will always have more friends than enemies.”

“When you think about it, an awkward boner is the only reflex that’s actually useful.”

“Women who is physically flexible tend find lovers who are just as flexible in a non-physical way.”

“Make-up sex is the romantic equivalent of tech support for an old computer.”

“In essence, prostitution is paying a premium to skip the small talk before sex.”

“Stories about broken hearts will never be as memorable as those about bruised genitals.”

I hope that helped make everyone’s back feel better, among other things. Massages will always have a sexy connotation and for good reason. Intimate touching usually leads to intimate loving. It’s just physics. When we’re genuinely sore, though, it goes beyond intimacy. It’s downright therapeutic. Whenever you can mix therapy and sex appeal, you know you’ve got something special.