TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

A new ad from Powerade, the non-fizzy soft drink company trying to pass as a sports energy drink, confirms that the brand is still desperately trying to convince consumers, and itself, that it’s a drink for athletes and not hungover people.

The ad sees a number of nationally known athletes drinking the electrolyte drink mid workout, a 30 second spot that their marketing department is particularly proud of.

“Love, love, love it!” said the chief marketing officer.

“This is such an accurate representation of the types of people who keep our business afloat,” she said.

According to reports, the marketing department has already received brand association numbers that are meant to quantify whether the ad has succeeded in getting its message across or not.

The Advocate managed to get the marketing intern on the phone for the inside scoop.

“It’s not pretty,” said the intern.

“I don’t know how I’m going to break it to the rest of the team, I think I’ll have to lie.”

“How am I supposed to explain that everyone thinks we’re idiots?”

While the public’s opinion can be biased, The Advocate did some digging and found the financial records of Powerade and we can exclusively reveal that 90% of their profits do in fact come from hungover men and women, the other 10% comes from high school canteens.

It’s not yet known whether the intern has relayed the information up the leadership ladder yet, and as he still has his job we suspect he hasn’t.

More to come.