You need to know that this binder exists. It’s called GC2b and here is a thing from their about page:

Our Mission GC2b provides high quality chest binders at an affordable price. Our products have been designed using an extensive and thorough process. GC2b uses a front and back, double panel, mixed material design to construct a flat appearance. GC2b provides the gear needed to help you safely achieve your ideal form. Our Story GC2b is a specialized division of GC2 Compression. We value our loyal trans, non binary, and gender queer customers and wanted to be able to provide them with a better, more specialized product. After much research, material studies, user feedback, and prototyping, we were able to design and provide the perfect chest binder.

You also can’t get very far into their page without the giant “Made in the USA” crossing your gaze, so if you’re into domestic goods and creating awesome jobs in the United States, this is a plus. But I digress. Let me tell you about this binder.

I first met the idea of this unicorn of a binder via this tweet, retweeted by K. Copeland (of Find Chaos and Chaos Life):

Naturally, I was both intrigued by and a little skeptical of the claim “perfect chest binder,” but since I was happy with literally none of the binders in my dresser drawer (seriously. None. And the one I’m happiest with is so old and frayed that it really needs to go), I decided I would purchase said “perfect” chest binder because it was also only $33. In fact, their most expensive binder is $35. So there’s that.

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Yesterday, my binder came in a flat, nondescript little package that fit into our tiny mailbox. I tried it on, prepared for the Battle of the Binder — this is my name for all the pinching, squeezing and general discomfort that most binders bring me, a person of large yabos. Usually, I wind up with weird red marks on my shoulders and under my arms because the average binder is like I WILL HUG THE LIFE OUT OF YOU and by hour four of wearing a binder, I’m in a notoriously bad mood even though you’re supposed to be able to wear a binder for eight hours. That is how it normally goes.

Anyhow, I put this binder on, and after the initial struggle that always comes with putting on a thing that fits as tightly as binders should fit, I felt — nothing. The binder felt like nothing. THE BINDER FELT LIKE NOTHING, THIS IS NOT A DRILL. Not only was no part of wearing it uncomfortable, it actually did its job. I did not know that this was possible in the realm of physics. This must be made of unicorn hair or something — seriously, it’s not made of that normal itchy meshy stretchy fabric, it actually feels nice against your skin. Or maybe it’s not magic — maybe it’s just actually been designed for us? That’s pretty magic though, if you ask me.

That was the first thing I noticed. The second thing I noticed was that this binder, the magic binder, has a neckline low enough to accommodate a v-neck tee shirt. Before getting too excited, I ran to my dresser to grab my Autostraddle This tee-shirt. This is my “test this binder” tee shirt because I actually usually can’t wear it à la binder without some serious adjusting and unattractive shirt maintenance tugging throughout the day because you can generally see the binder rising over the deepest part of the “v.” I put it on and, lo. The binder was totally invisible.

I proceeded to dance around my bedroom. I wore it for the rest of the day, even reading in bed with it to see how it did when my body was a little contorted and yup. Still the most comfortable damn binder I’ve ever worn.

A few notes on size: I was on the cusp between large and extra-large; my chest measurement was 38, so I went with the larger size, XL. On my next order (and there will definitely be a next order), I think I’m going to go with a large because my body fluctuates wildly depending on my relationship to my menstrual cycle that given day. If you are unsure about your size, though, the awesome people behind GC2b welcome emails with your measurements and questions.

Also, how did I not know about this? Is this a thing literally all other people who use chest binders knew about and I am (once again) just the last to jump on the train? Did you all know about GC2b? If you did, why in Lesbian Jesus’s name didn’t you tell me about it??????