

Tommy Wiseau is really planning to give something back to his audience. His film The Room is (in)famous among fans for being, among many other things, the screening where you can throw a rain of plastic spoons at the screen. Now, if Wiseau has his way, the film will be able to throw something back, as he’s planning a 3D remaster for late 2011 or early 2012.

EW talked to Tommy Wiseau, but sadly the magazine doesn’t include any quotes that suggests that they asked about using both the film and video footage supposedly shot as a basis for the 3D conversion. (Legends says Wiseau shot The Room with film and video cameras running side by side.) We’ll have to wait for the blu-ray for that; the director says that when the Blu-ray version his before Christmas 2011, it will contain a bunch of behind the scenes footage.

What Wiseau does say about 3D to EW has to do with ass. His ass.

My bottom will have to be in 3-D because I’m not changing anything. So you’ll be very close.

Those who have seen The Room know that the idea of Tommy’s 3D ass is no laughing matter. The film’s sex scenes are like the entire Awkward Family Photos website stretched out into nearly unbearable examples of physical exertion. And there’s a great deal of Tommy’s ass. Maybe someone can design special 3D glasses that contain Douglas Adams’ ideas for peril sensitive sunglasses — i.e. when Tommy takes off his pants, the lenses turn black. Hey, Jeffrey Katzenberg, help us out here!

What else has Tommy Wiseau got cooking? There’s The Room reimagined as a video game and kids’ cartoon, the sitcom The Neighbors and a film about the economy (“It relates to homes and foreclosures. You’ll be shocked!”) and a clothing line.

I’ll be designing underwear, as well as jackets, as well as sportswear… I have the skills. I know how to design. Of course, it will be my face on some of the clothes; it’ll be my name on it. It will be ‘Designed by Tommy Wiseau.’

Because the next best thing to seeing Tommy Wiseau’s ass in 3D will be wearing some of his branded underwear on your own.

(If you’re not familiar with The Room, the trailer is below, and you can watch an interview with Tommy Wiseau conducted by Dave Chen here.)