It’s Saint Patrick’s Day today, and bros from all corners of the country will be wearing “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” shirts covered in regurgitated Bud Light all day. Not being of Irish descent, and having, you know…self respect, we’ve always thought St. Patrick’s Day was not only insulting to actual Irish people, but a thinly-veiled excuse for morons to have their alcoholism on full display and give city parade organizers have yet another opportunity to give a big middle finger to homosexuals wanting to march alongside the Shriners. It’s truly an embarrassing sham of a holiday that is both insulting and unnecessary in its current form.

Neoliberal bitching aside, it does bring up an opportunity to address the fact that the color green is not the easiest to incorporate into a wardrobe, at least one that is worn outside of a Buffalo Wild Wings. So we’ve decided to take advantage of this dearth of green clothing advice to offer eighteen different ways to bring a touch of The Emerald Isle into your repertoire, with no graphic tees, plastic beads, or cheap, shitty beer to make you look like a bumbling oaf. Don’t forget to share this article and to follow us on Instagram for daily style advice, outfit inspiration, and James Bond references.

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