They say two’s a pair and three’s a crowd. Well if that’s true how is it that so many men still dream of having their perfect threesome?

Threesomes appeal for those who want a more adventurous experience. Whether that’s vanilla, kinky or just a way to mix it up is up to you. The idea of watching lesbian or gay action is erotic to some while the sheer thrill of being involved with two people is hot. But how do you triple the fun?

Arranging a threesome

When sex can be great fun with one partner, it’s natural to wonder what it might be like with a third. But how many people actually do it? What are the rules? Do you take it in turns, avert your gaze from the other chap’s dick and if you make contact accidentally – then what?

From the outset, arranging a three-way can be daunting. Not only in actually agreeing with your partner that you’d like to try it, but then choosing who to invite? There are obvious questions of which gender to opt for with many men claiming that they dream of a MFF but real feedback stating more men enjoyed a MFM instead.

When you do decide to try it in either combination, the choice of who to invite into bed is a tricky one. You don’t want it to be a close friend in case it becomes awkward afterwards but hooking up with a stranger might seem even weirder. So how do you resolve it?

I can confidently confirm that many couples contact escorts to join them for their one night of fun. This is usually MFF although some hire a chap for the night or two men pair up with a new woman.

In recent years, the increase in dating sites offering more NSA meets has been dramatic. Thereby providing more and more opportunities to hook up, get your rocks off and then disappear into the sunset.

Safe sex is a must

It goes without saying that safe sex is advisable in any encounter with a new partner. Especially where there may be multiple males involved, good contraception is a must. But also taking precautions to make sure that everybody involved is healthy.

This is obviously easier if you actually get to know someone and develop trust. But in reality we don’t always do this. Given the risk of unwanted pregnancy and STIs, playing safe is sensible. Though this doesn’t have to reduce your enjoyment.

Discuss the threesome rules with your partner

Assuming that you want to have a threesome with your girlfriend rather than with two strangers, the following apply:

Do make sure both you and your girlfriend have discussed how you both feel about the prospect of a sex triangle. The fantasy can sometimes clash with reality whereby the experience can bring out insecurities which previously weren’t apparent.

Talking about what you both want from the event will help you set limits. Whether that’s what activities are okay, if you kiss both people or just one/none, if it’s a sleepover etc. Porn isn’t accurate of what threesomes are like in real life so making sure it will suit you is key to enjoyment.

When I had my first threesome, I knew both parties for a couple of years previous. I’d slept with the chap once and knew he wanted to introduce me to his girlfriend. He and I talked about it in advance but she and I got to know each other as friends first. We kissed, it was flirty but it was a friendship too. This helped avoid the awkwardness for us though it doesn’t work for everyone. We discussed boundaries in terms of if she was comfortable with him having sex with me as well as her. It became clear that while he wanted that, she didn’t and by having an open conversation, we reached an agreement which suited all of us.

Where to do “it”

Your place or mine, honey? How about a hotel?

Given the nature of the situation, many choose to opt for a hotel. It’s easier to rock up, rock out with ya cock out and then leave when it’s a neutral location. Whether any of you sleep there afterwards is up to you. If it’s awkward, you can leave or they can leave without issue.

In comparison, having it at a place belonging to one of you is trickier. There’s the actual memory attached to a place you’ll return to, for good or bad. Sure it might be hot looking at your sofa and remembering a double blowjob but if your mum is sat there, it might be a little weird. Plus there’s the catch of, what if one of you want to leave or stop it? Chucking someone out is harder than just exiting a hotel.

Expense an issue? Not wanting to waste money by not sleeping over? No worries, there are plenty of options for all budgets, from airbnb to 9-5 hotels which specialise in offering ‘day rooms’… Fancy going the extra mile and using a dungeon if you’re into kinkier things and you can even hire a fully kitted out dungeon. Or so I’m told anyway…

If you’d feel more comfortable going somewhere you know, go for it. But think it through before you commit as you want to make your fantasy real in the best way. Maybe not watching your dirty dishes in the sink will help.

Threesome: what can go wrong?

When they say three’s a crowd, it’s fair to say it’s an odd number. There are likely to be times when not all three people are equally engaged in activities. Whether this appeals to a voyeur/exhibitionist streak or makes someone feel like a gooseberry however is your call.

It’s bound to be a bit weird at first when trying something new. But what do you do if something unexpected crops up?

If you accidentally touch another man’s todger, do you say ‘excuse me?’ Or is that par for the course of getting into bed with two other people.

‘After you good, sir?’

‘Would madam like to oral first or to lick our guest first?’

There are so many options to choose from that you really just need to sit back and enjoy. Some do drink some bubbly beforehand to relax. I know I sure did! While alcohol can help reduce your inhibitions, staying sober enough to have a level head is essential. Make sure you have full and informed consent to whatever you get up to.

Performance anxiety affecting how quickly you cum or how hard you get, is normal. Popping a little viagra or cialis can help combat any nerves around this. But any non prescription drugs hinder your libido.

Other ideas

You could include toys, food play known as ‘sploshing’, DP, a rusty trombone, anal play, spit roasting for MFM or even splash out to a bukkake!

For more ideas check out our other articles:

Bukkake: What does bukkake mean?

Eating ass: why is rimming so popular?

Escorts 101: a gentlemen’s guide to call girls