President Donald Trump has made an amazing discovery following an urgent speech at the White House. It was previously believed the budget cuts on the F-35 stealth fighter were planned before President Trump took office. Now it appears he has found a way to alter the past using an interesting strategy, lying.

“Apparently one can alter the past by lying about it enough in the present,” said famed physicist Harold Botwin, “This is an unprecedented discovery. It allows humans to permanently change the mistakes of the past. Lie about something 4,000 times and it alters the past.”

Thousands of concerned conservatives gathered from around the country and created a wall along the Mexican border. And voila, according to our sources, countless Mexican Americans have disappeared and reappeared on the Mexican side of the border. Production at fruit plantations is halted across the nation as the workforce has disappeared. Thousands of farms are going out of business as they are no longer able to sustain production. Farmers are pleading with the American people to “bring back the Mexicans.”

To satisfy his followers, President Donald Trump worked to change the outcome of the Civil War. An outcome that would reverse all African American contributions to society. This choice was unpopular to say the least, but he succeeded last week. The results have been devastating.