So, a while ago I wrote this here satirical review of Star Wars : The Force Awakens, lampooning all the feminist reviews by taking it to tumblr extremes of depravity, the main conceit being that, as my regular readers surely know all too well, feminist types are never satisfied.

The review got a decent number of views, at least in relative terms for my humble blog, but didn’t exactly “go viral”, as the kids are wont to say. Then today I see a minor surge in traffic to that post, coming from someone’s live journal (ya that site still exists, who knew?) and a Star Wars forum. Some fan decided to share my post, cool beans. I click on through and lo and behold, what sorcery is this? Is that the comic panel I made being featured in a BBC story?

I do what any self respecting narcissist would do in this situation, and, before reading anything beyond the headline, go brag about my achievement on facebook and twitter. Not so humble brags out of the way I then went back to dig into the meat of this story. It looks like some girl reposted the ‘comic panel’ I made on instagram and tagged Daisey in it. Daisey got well pissed, leading many or at least yours truly to speculate that this might be her time of the month, and wrote a retort (featured in the BBC story above) which included the girl’s screenname which then led to some portion of Daisey’s 1.4 million fans screaming at the girl who has since deleted her account.

When Daisey realized what her followers were up to she removed the original post and replaced it something a bit more kumbaya, seigneur.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BCvzkLGlE4L/?taken-by=daisyridley

So I’m having a good laugh, enjoying the chaos from the shadows, right? When things take a bit of an emotional downturn, as I read through the forum that was one of the first two to pin me down as the original creator I began to understand the real tragedy that was unfolding before me, perpetuated by a vile media that is as incompetent as it is dishonest. The man who found my blog, an internet sleuth that puts every media website to shame, claims that the girl who shared the image is likely mentally challenged. You know, spastic.

Yes, the girl is mentally disabled; that wasn’t something that was made up. I’m not going to post the girl’s name here, but if you Google her Instagram ID you’ll find she was using her real full name. You can see from her Facebook profile pictures how childish she looks, and elsewhere it is mentioned she attends a school for special needs children. I wouldn’t be so upset about this if the girl weren’t so harmless and vulnerable. Just try to put yourself in the kid’s shoes for a moment. Imagine being negatively targeted by a celebrity you idolise. And as if that weren’t enough, then targeted by news outlets all over the world. JFC, people!

–Darth Imbecillis

I won’t post her name or photos, but there is the screenname as captured and posted by Holleywood Reporter, which seems like one of the first outlets to have ran with the story. Please have a little human decency and don’t bother this poor child.

I have investigated the claims from Darth Imbecillis, and can confirm everything except the special needs schooling part. Not really up on my Swedish. Given everything else I’ve seen, I’m inclined to believe it. I want everyone to process what has actually happened over the last 24 hours, because it really speaks volumes about the quality of the media we have today, ie: utter shit.

So, just to recap, here’s the breakdown:

Irreverent shitlord with a blog that has a miniscule following pens an absurdly satirical review of Star Wars, complete with comic book like speech bubbles showing what the movie was about from an insanely tumblr radfem point of view. A 17 year old, mentally handicapped girl that spends a large portion of her time posting Star Wars fan art on instagram, stumbles on my image and does what she does when she finds Rey fan art. Daisy Ridley, young and upcoming superstar that plays Rey in the film, sees the image taken out of context, reposts it along with the name of the instagram user who put it up, and fires shots back. Daisy’s followers let their hate flow through them and unleash holy hell on the young fan. That poor little mongoloid is probably still in tears, bless her little heart. Media picks up the story, does literally zero research, brands the 17 year old slow girl as a “body shaming internet troll” and puts her on blast while simultaneously praising Daisy for being such a brave womyn.

Talk about a clusterfuck. So what are the takeaways here? I’m glad you asked. Let’s go over them:

Content is king but context is God

This is something people either can’t understand or don’t want to. Did that girl post the image because she wanted to shame Daisy? All signs seem to point to ‘no fucking chance’. All signs point to her being a massive fan. I don’t really blame Daisy for getting the wrong impression, but she should learn to take some time to try to understand a situation before putting someone on blast over social media like that. Daisy is young, I hope she learns from this (one of us should and it obviously isn’t going to be me).

The media is a pathetic assembly of greedy, sniveling assclowns worthy of less respect than the shit I took this morning which wasn’t particularly impressive as far as shits go

I really want to drive this one home. Did the media try to figure out who the “body shaming internet troll” was and contact her for her side of the story? No. Did the media do a simple reverse image search to find my blog and understand that the ‘viral meme’, as they labeled it, was satire? No.

Or, we must confront the other possibility, that they maybe do have a modicum of competence, but chose not to report aspects of the story that would surely dampen the resulting outrage. God I hate the media, can you tell? Burn that shit to the fucking ground, somebody, please.

Society has an unhealthy obsession with celebrities

Not exactly a profound revelation, I know, but as someone who is fairly grounded, being confronted with the depth of this illness makes me weep for humanity. Every once in a blue moon I will throw a little bit of celebrity news in my weekly round up, a link about Caitlin Jenner here, a story on Lena Dunham there. I always feel dirty when I do it, but not only that, I feel like, “why am I doing this? No one cares what these vapid turds have to say, surely?” And then I see the results in my wordpress stats, that people do indeed click these links with the highest frequency, and it makes me understand why things like today happen. Who has time to check any facts when you need to be the first out the door and get that traffic, nigga!

I am doing the lords work here

If this media shit show doesn’t justify what I’m all about here at I,Hypocrite, then what exactly would? I’m not the only one who see’s the irony here, right? Two things that I hate, people that say things like “real women have curves” which is why I lampooned the shit out of it, and people that write about a woman being “SO BRAVE” because she’s not ashamed of her body. Pin a medal on the bitch why don’t you. Hey, you’re a super talented actress that is going to make literally millions and millions of dollars over the course of your career, but even better, you refused to be intimidated by a mentally deficient child with an instagram. #blessed.

Here are just a few of the gag worthy media quotes on the incident, and don’t even get me started on the comment sections…

“I can’t believe the unrealistic expectations I’m setting for young girls.” That’s right, folks. The year is 2016, and we have a gang-busters blockbuster that is at once both ‘too feminist’ (so the MRAs say) and ‘setting unrealistic expectations for young girls’. It’s Schrödinger’s Wars.

–Daisy Ridley Strikes Back After Body-Shaming Insta Pic Of Rey Goes Viral

OMG you are so stupid. RoK is not a men’s rights organization, for anyone paying attention, and my ‘meme’ was satire. And a single repost isn’t ‘going viral’. Fucking kill yourself.

I feel like “real women have curves” (the phrase, not the movie) has evolved to have less to do with weight, and more to do with men gatekeeping what kind of fat or thin or in-between female bodies are pleasing and ‘authentic.’

Oh sweet Jesus. Sweet baby Jesus sleeping in your manger come save us because literally no man ever has ever said ‘real women have curves’. You’re actually trying to make thin shaming something that men do? Leave it to Mary Sue to achieve peak stupidity, but it gets even better:

Of course, we do need more body diversity in Star Wars, and in media overall. Hopefully as great female representation in Star Wars evolves to become the norm, rather than the exception, that increased inclusivity will also be a priority…it’s the directors, producers, and other people (usually straight white men) who dictate the default in Hollywood.

–Kindly Refrain from Criticizing Daisy Ridley’s Body

This bitch is defending the satire as valid criticism. I can’t even you guys. I literally can’t even.

In a patriarchal society where even the fittest bodies are picked apart for totally hypocritical reasons, it’s no wonder that so many women and girls suffer from disordered eating and body dysmorphia. So if we don’t take a stand against body shammers, we all lose.

–The Daisy Ridley Body Image Controversy Once Again Proves Women in Action Movies Just Can’t Win

So many of the stories make it seem like she stood up against an army of harassers. This has given me new insight into the #GamerGate controversy and understanding how a single post can turn into a ‘vial campaign’ once it’s chewed up and spat out by the rumor mill.

Daisy, if somehow you find your way here, and you’ve managed to read all the way down to here, for whatever it’s worth, I accept your body, girl. Oh yes. Hallelujah. One question tho, do you call that a forehead? ‘Cause it looks more like a six or seven head.

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