While Osama was living it up in the lap of adequacy in Abbottabad, his little jihad club had gone corporate -- and we mean that in the very lamest sense of the word. Here are six weirdly business-y (and mundane) tactics that terrorists are using in their war on the war on terror.

The capture of Osama bin Laden revealed more than just the unmitigated badassery of Navy Seals. It also exposed how little we knew about the jihad lifestyle. For years we thought bin Laden was camping out in a cave, living off of canned Beanee Weenees and scurrying from stalactite to stalagmite with all of his belongings in a bandanna on a stick.

6 Circulating Internal Memos About Branding

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Maybe bin Laden wasn't caught in the act of building suicide bombs in a cave or buying plutonium from wild-eyed inventors, but he was still a terrorist -- someone who, by definition, exists to scare people. So as the head guy of al-Qaeda, you'd expect him to give about as many shits about what people thought of him as your average raving homeless man. What you don't expect is a guy so worried about the company's image that he was one memo away from changing al-Qaeda's name in a last-ditch effort to rebrand the organization.



"Nobody leaves this room until we hash this out!"

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The Corporate Gesture:

In the same way that Kentucky Fried Chicken insists that we pretend the company's name is "KFC" to obscure the fact that their chicken is fried, Osama bin Laden speculated that changing al-Qaeda's name would get more sympathy from Muslims around the world. As if the whole "murdering innocent civilians for attention" thing had nothing to do with their declining numbers.

When bin Laden's compound was raided, the Navy Seals found an undated internal memo speculating that al-Qaeda's membership was dwindling because Muslims didn't quite "get" them. And the reason everyone was missing the jihad boat was a simple matter of the name. Technically, al-Qaeda is named "al-Qaeda al-Jihad" or "The Base of Holy War." According to bin Laden, it was the West that shortened the name to "al-Qaeda," and by doing so, we rechristened the terrorist group "The Base," which is utterly meaningless.

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Just ask Prince about shortened names.

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The solution? A name change. Bin Laden played around with " Taifat al-Tawhed Wal-Jihad" ("Monotheism and Jihad Group") and "Jama'at I'Adat al-Khilafat al-Rashida" ("Restoration of the Caliphate Group"). So you can add "coming up with catchy organization names" to the list of things that bin Laden was terrible at.