I get to audition a panoply of speakers on this job, and one of the most striking—both visually and aurally—is Devialet's Phantom. The French company's speaker is designed to look like some ovular starseed space egg, with cylindrical drivers firing outwards from both sides as you crank the jams, extending and receding in a blur of sound and motion. It's also goddamn loud. The base model Phantom puts out 750 watts, and the bigger Silver Phantom is rated at 3,000. I've tested both versions, and the Phantom is dramatic, impressively loud, and easily generates enough of a racket to get you evicted.

But apparently, even more brawn is required if one is to blanket every deck of one's superyacht in Bach concertos. To satisfy the sound gluttons, Devialet is releasing an even-higher-end speaker. The Phantom Gold boasts 4,500 watts of power and can achieve peak volumes of 108 decibels. That's about as loud as a motorcycle, a power saw, or an Opeth concert.

Devialet

The frequency range of the speaker exceeds that of the human ear, extending to an ultrasonic 27kHz on the high end, and reaching all the way down to 14Hz in the basement. You won't be able to hear such low-frequency rumbles, but you'll feel them—in your molars, your bowels, and in the soles of your feet.

But the real selling point here? It's the rose gold coating on the exterior. That's actual 22-carat gold, too—Devialet, a luxury brand, is known not to skimp on its bling. You'll pay for all that rare earth, too. When the Phantom Gold ships in mid-July, a cool $2,990 will earn you the privilege of listening to your Blue Oyster Cult MP3s on a gorgeous, reflective orb of zany.