Meeting Minutes

Secretarial Supply Co, Ltd

October 5, 2007

1:00 pm, Conference Room

Present: Andrew Zinnamon, CEO & Sucker; Michelle Tartulo, CFO & Head of Anti-Secritism; Tim McCloskey, Director of Public Relations & Yes-Manry; Vish Gupta, Managing Director of Product Design, & Boring Nerd Things.

Minutes taken by: Angela Ellington, Office Assistant Extraordinaire.



Proceedings:

· Meeting called to order at 1:00 p.m. by CEO Andrew Zinnamon.

- Cake presented to Ellington, reading ‘Best Minutes-Taker Ever – We Love You, Angela!’. Ellington prefers white cake, which is noted by Zinnamon, who promises to “do better next time”.

· Chief Executive's Report:

- Zinnamon describes company as in precarious position, with next 6 months integral to survival in increasingly cutthroat world of secretarial supply.

- Recommends that company consider altering its target population to reduce competition. Requests research on potential in non-traditional office assistant markets – i.e. 12-15 year old males, illiterate deaf-mutes, Scandinavian fishermen.

- Tartulo’s inane inquiry about the viability of such small, potentially non-existent markets met by Zinnamon’s insistence on expanding constituency. McCloskey “wholeheartedly agrees” MOTION to ‘look into things’ seconded by McCloskey and passed.

- Zinnamon stresses importance of shoring up resources to deal with seven new lawsuits levied against company: printing error deleting ‘In’ from ‘Hang In There’ caused nationwide spike in secretarial suicide.



· Finance report provided by Chair, Elizabeth Drucker:

- Numbers from last quarter way down, with “World’s Best Coffee-Fetcher” mug largest loss.

- Bitch Tartulo suggests diverting funds away from extravagant ‘Office Assistant Day’ parade to cover new R&D needs and increasing overhead. MOTION not seconded.

- Ellington recommends cutting Tartulo’s salary to cover costs. Though no motion made, glimmer in others’ eyes demonstrate silent assent.



· Creative Content report provided by Vish Gupta:

- Gupta recommends expanding line to better meet needs of 20th century assistant’s needs. Zinnamon yawns, followed immediately by McCloskey.

- Gupta requests a change in company image. Research demonstrates term ‘Secretarial’ is archaic and offensive. Zinnamon angrily counters that company was built single-handedly in 1909 by his great-grandfather Aloysius Secretarial, who would roll over in grave if company lost the family name.

- Gupta says something else nerd-like. None present pay much attention.

- MOTION to skip over remainder of Creative Content report offered by Zinnamon & seconded by McCloskey. Put to vote and passed (Gupta abstained).



· Other business:

- Ellington given customary opportunity to provide riveting and thorough description of home life, which all present (save Tartulo the soulless wench) enjoy immensely.

- Running low on toner.

· Meeting adjourned at 2:30 p.m.

· Minutes submitted by Office Assistant, Angela Ellington.

By CS Van Orden

