With the nation of Fiji subsidizing half the show, and it being relatively easy to film there, it has seemed like “Survivor” would never leave again. Yet, this episode provides us with an alternative, one that keeps the ease that the show currently has in filming, and have no extra cost. Ladies and Gentlemen, I propose to you Season 41: “Survivor Mirror Universe”.

What’s that? Getting to a metaphysical concept where alignments are switched is beyond the realm of mortal ken? Nonsense! The show’s clearly been there already! They brought back the version of Tommy that actually gets pissed at stuff, so they obviously are able to get there! Now all we need to do if film a season there, and we’re good to go. Before we can talk about my fee for this new idea, however, we have to talk about…

MATT’S MESS-UP!

Yep, can’t help but have a stumble in the antepenultimate blog, even if it is a small one. In all the excitement of the last 10 minutes of the previous episode, I forgot to mention that Elaine played her idol. Unnecessary in her case, since she wasn’t a target, but she had no way to guarantee that, and I can’t really fault her for being cautious. Now, on to the episode proper.

You would think, given that pretty much everyone was done with Karishma, that things would be fairly chill following the past Tribal Council. You forget, however, that Tommy has been replaced with an evil doppelgänger, who is none too pleased with only finding out about the votes coming his way at Tribal Council itself. Naturally, his anger is directed at Noura, since she seemed to be in on the plan. Even Tommy’s natural diplomacy can’t hide the rage in his voice. This, naturally, increases Noura’s rage, and she goes to take her revenge on Dean. She pulls from the Holly Hoffman (“Survivor Nicaragua”) school and goes for his shoes. She says she’s going to put them on the tribe sign, which I initially think is just a height thing, but then she mentions that this is where they always put an article of clothing from the people who’ve been voted out. I’d like to talk about the ominous yet subtle threat this poses to Dean, or Noura’s great “Soul/Sole” pun, but I can’t because I’m too busy being pissed that THIS IS THE FIRST TIME WE’RE HEARING ABOUT THIS TRADITION! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SHOW? Seriously, this is a great little slice of life that both humanizes and connects us with the cast, and is a unique feature we would get only on this season, yet we’re only just now hearing about it! Man, this show really has its priorities screwed up this season. And believe it or not, this is not the last time I’m going to say that about this episode.

Even if I had avoided the “Matt’s Mess-Up” section, Elaine would have made sure it was mentioned anyway, as she and Dean get up to go idol hunting. I’m all ready to blast this cast for sleeping in when there’s idols in them thar hills, but fortunately Janet is here to prove me wrong. She shakes Tommy awake, and the two pairs go idol hunting. Since Tommy or Janet finding the idol would be the outcome that removes the most tension from the moment, naturally Janet finds the idol and shows it to Tommy. Not that she gets away scot-free, though. Dean and Elaine note that Janet appears to be showing Tommy something, and Tommy is looking down, leading them to correctly conclude that Janet found the idol. I’d normally complain about Tommy and Janet not doing a 360 to check to see if they’re being watched, yet we’re clearly shown that Tommy did. Chalk one up to Dean and Elaine’s spying skills, I guess.

Coming back from commercial, we see that Elaine has now developed plan B to avoid going home, now that an idol seems out of the question. She goes back to the “women’s alliance” well by cozying up to Lauren, but surprisingly is the first person to actually try and convince Lauren to turn against Tommy. Not Missy’s plan of voting Tommy out independently, and then win Lauren’s loyalty, but to actually appeal to Lauren’s strategic nature. And Elaine actually has kind of a point, saying that nobody wants Lauren at the end, and that Dean will supplant her. It helps that Elaine doesn’t put the focus so much on getting out Tommy (a harder sell) as she does getting out Dean. Lauren discusses this with Tommy, who I have to say is kind of condescending here, comparing her to a jealous girlfriend. He can’t pretend that Dean hasn’t moved up, since he’s grateful to Dean, but spins a good lie that he’s replaced Janet, not her. Lauren seems to buy it, but we then see that this is another case of self-fulfilling prophecy. Just as talk of a women’s alliance can cause one to form where there was none before (see “Survivor Kaoh Rong”), so too can talk of a men’s alliance cause one to form. Tommy talks about how he, Dean, and Dan have a pact to the end, since Tommy can beat both of them, and how they need to get rid of Lauren. Funnily enough, while this is not the first alliance to be nothing but men, it IS the first one to be referred to as a “Men’s Alliance”.

Talking about how much Tommy likes Dean now can only lead up to something making Dean look terrible. Sure enough, a boat comes and informs the group that a random person needs to be sent to Island of the Idols. Guess who that random person is!

Fittingly for the last individual visit to Island of the Idols, Dean’s is a combination of both the humiliation type and the strategy type. We start off, fittingly for Dean, with the humiliation angle, as he talks about his “brilliant” move of playing the fake Legacy Advantage, instead of his REAL fake legacy advantage. This should be hilarious, but here’s where Rob and Sandra basically being producers hurts them. Look, Dean seems like a nice guy, but this is a dumb move on his part, and he should be HUMILIATED for it. Sandra should be talking about his “stupid ass”. Rob should be coming up with some crazy, working-class metaphor for what Dean’s trying to pull. But instead, they can’t give away that info, and just keep a straight face. Way to cut the teeth out of two of the best snarkers in the history of the game, show! Our lesson is much better, though with a caveat I’ll get to in a second. Rob and Sandra’s lesson is about jury management, something new, relevant to the game, and that Dean desperately needs. He’s been getting the goober edit for most of the season, and if that’s what we’re seeing, most likely that’s what the jury is seeing. But what they say about winning over the jury, I don’t get. They talk about the need to have victories in front of the jury, and about making a coherent narrative. A bit of an oversimplification, and leans in a bit too much into modern “Survivor” and its penchant for “BIG MOVEZ!”, but nothing too egregious. But it’s Sandra saying “The jury always wants to vote for the player who played the best.” that gets to me. Um, Sandra, more often than not it’s the jury voting for who they like the most, or at a minimum dislike the least, the leads to someone winning, game or no game. Rob I can understand having the philosophy of “the best player winning”, since that’s how he won “Survivor Redemption Island” but Sandra, BOTH OF YOUR WINS WERE DUE TO BEING AGAINST DISLIKED PLAYERS! DID YOU JUST FORGET THAT OR SOMETHING? Again, I think this is the producer hat coming on, but all this does is reaffirm that the pair are far more interesting as players than as producers.

In the vein of a move to impress the jury, Rob offers Dean the challenge of a “Coin Flip”. It’s about as much of a challenge as the “Pull rocks from a bag” family challenge on “Survivor Heroes vs. Healers vs. Hustlers”. He loses, he loses his vote. He wins, he gets his choice of an extra vote, an idol nullifier, or a hidden immunity idol good for one vote, and must be played on someone else. This is a toughie. On the one hand, if people are truthful, Dean really doesn’t have much to lose, even if he can’t vote. On the other, as he saw with Kellee, there’s no guarantee of loyalty after being saved, so perhaps better not to risk it with so few numbers, on something you have no control over. Plus, I don’t buy Rob’s comment that the jury will respect Dean risking everything in his game on a coin flip. Using an advantage correctly, I could get behind. But pulling that big a risk on something you have no control over? I wouldn’t respect that, and I don’t think the jury will either. It’s a moot point though, as Dean wins. He correctly picks the idol nullifier as the most powerful of the three, and the most useful to him, given his knowledge about Janet’s idol. He lies back at camp, both about having the idol nullifier and about losing his vote. The first part I get. No need to put up the hackles of someone you might want to use it on. But why lie about losing? Granted, it makes you less of a threat, but also means people won’t want to strategize with you. Dean corrects this by informing Dan, Tommy, and Lauren about what really went down, but this seems like it would backfire to me as well. After all, now you’ve proven to your allies that you lied to them, and are now more of a threat than you were previously. Sure enough, Tommy now says that Dean is maybe not as sure a bet as he thought, and may need to be eliminated. Not sure I buy his logic 100%, but I can see where he’s coming from.

CHALLENGE TIME! And yes despite overall being a “generic obstacles with puzzle at the end” challenge, this one gets my seal of approval for two reasons: One, it features dizzy people, which is always a riot, and two, the puzzle is quite creative. It’s another word puzzle, which Eliane is mad at, but rather than individual cubes, the letters are now basically on Tetris blocks, which have to be stacked to make the phrase “This game will mess with your mind”. Creative, challenging, and even the puzzle phrase is kind of clever. Hey, the challenges have been really repetitive of late, so I’ll take what I can get.

With this sort of challenge it all comes down to the puzzle. Dean wins, though since no one else seemed to make actual words (at least ones that related to the show; Dan’s “Sith” was amusing), it’s not too surprising. Good for him, but way to cut the tension, show! Since Lauren’s been presented as the only viable target, she’s obviously going to be the next to go. Sure, Tommy brings up Elaine to the group as a whole, which makes sense. Elaine is the only threat left bigger than Lauren. But soon enough, we’ll get a confessional from Tommy saying that they need to go after Lauren. Yep, there he goes talking about throwing a vote on… Noura? Wow, this really is Evil Tommy. That’s a bona fide grudge and everything. Apart from that, there’s really no reason to go for Noura. Sure, she’s just the decoy vote, and Elaine is the main target, but what happened to Lauren? Surely she’d be a prime decoy vote.

Oh well, at least it creates a bit more tension. Elaine and Lauren realize that if Dan is voting for Noura, they can use their votes plus Janet to get her out, sparing the pair of them. A great plan for Elaine, bad for anyone else. Jumping into Tribal Council shows us why. Everyone naturally talks about how tough the game is now they’re down to the finals, but the main story of the night is Elaine. She again bemoans her bad luck, and gets a big speech about how she keeps on fighting until her torch is snuffed, and gets a lot of love from the players as a result. A very touching moment that makes her WAY too dangerous to keep around. The jury loves her. Let her get anywhere near, and you’re screwed. Elaine makes the best argument she can, suggesting she be kept around as basically a shield, an alternate target so no one looks too closely at you. Sort of what Spencer was to Tony on “Survivor Cagayan”. And that’s a good argument… for when you’ve got a bunch of people left. Even not knowing what happens at the end of this episode, you’ve got at most three votes after this one left, and Elaine is no slouch in challenges. She could easily win her way to the end, and swipe that million-dollar check that’s so rightfully yours. I’m not saying Elaine has a better argument to make at this juncture, but I am saying that her best argument falls kind of flat.

In keeping with the overall pattern of this season, Elaine goes home. She is not sent out with the awesome music, but I’m not sad about that. After how heartfelt the Tribal Council was, it would have been inappropriate. I am sorry that Elaine is gone, however. Smart move though it may have been, Elaine was that rare combination of good character and good strategist that this show so richly needs. She was a bright spot in a season that gets darker and darker still, and she will be sorely missed, particularly over Noura, who just doesn’t do it for me. I look forward to Elaine’s inevitable return, unless the show gets cancelled before they get the chance.

But now, you may be noticing that this blog is not ending despite having reached its natural endpoint, just as viewers noticed that she show was not going to credits despite the vote-out having taken place. We skip the fallout from Tribal Council and cut to the next day, where Jeff Probst is walking to camp. Sadly, this is not some new twist in the game, but an old plotline rearing it’s ugly head. There, shoved into the last minute or so of the show, is the reveal that Dan has been removed from the game, and will not be allowed to sit on the jury. Tommy bemoans in confessional how this screws up his game, and we go out on a card saying that Dan was removed for being inappropriate with a producer.

Allow me a second here to go find my “MORONS” megaphone. It may be a little dusty from “Survivor One World” but I’m sure it’s around somewhere. Ah, there it is. Now, if I may…

WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH THIS SHOW? OH, SO IF A PLAYER COMPLAINS ABOUT SOMEONE TOUCHING THEM INAPPROPRIATELY, THEY GET OFF WITH A “WARNING” THAT CONVEYS NOTHING, BUT AS SOON AS IT HAPPENS TO A PRODUCER, THE PLAYER HAS TO GO? WHAT THE HELL KIND OF STANDARD IS THAT? DO THEY THINK WE’RE THAT STUPID? THAT WE WON’T NOTICE? ARE WE SOME KIND OF JOKE TO YOU? Now, I already hear the counterargument: “Well, Dan received a warning, and this was his last strike after the warning.” To that, I say, “THEN WHY THE HELL DIDN’T HE GET A WARNING THE FIRST TIME, AND WHY THE HELL DIDN’T HIS SECOND VIOLATION WITH KELLEE RESULT IN THIS? I swear, I’m even more pissed off now than I was at the Kellee boot with all this. Yes, production handled that poorly, but this just feels like them doubling down on the whole fiasco. Not only did their negligence allow this to happen again (true, they’re not responsible for Dan’s actions, but they are responsible for the safety of their cast, and Dan’s continued presence jeopardized that), but it comes across as them being held to a different standard than the cast, which is just wrong on so many levels. But the real kicker here for me is that, for all the flaws of Kellee’s boot, the show at least showed us what happened, and how and why it went wrong. They were up front about the incident. By both not showing us any of the leadup and sticking it at the end of the episode, it feels like they were trying to sweep this unpleasantness under the rug, which is the complete wrong move. Show it, own up to it, and explain what you’re going to do to prevent it in the future. For as uncomfortable as it is, lay it bare to show how wrong it is. Now, they say the incident happened off-camera, but you’ve already had the producer’s voice in the show. Why not bring the producer on to explain what happened? And if, for some dumb reason, that’s not possible, at least have more buildup than this. Have the players talk about Dan being taken away, and what they think’s going on. Don’t just shove this at the end of the episode like it’s nothing. Because it’s not.

Ugh, this episode was never going to get a rave review from me. True, it’s hardly the worst this show has produced, and I would even say is overall a pretty good episode of the season for how it bookends some plot lines (the talk of gendered alliances), and some nice human moments (the sign of lost souls), but is overall lost in the quagmire of pointless strategizing and a continued emphasis on the philosophy of “You need idols and advantages to win this game.” But the whole Dan thing coming back, and being so poorly handled, just makes me sick, and puts this episode down at the bottom of the season, along with the OTHER Dan is a creep episode. Still, if there’s one silver lining, his elimination this episode means I only have to rank five people left in who’s most to least likely to win. Speaking of which…

LAUREN-My top spot is always reserved for the person who “If they get to the end, they win.”, and this year that title goes to Lauren. She and Tommy have both played stellar social games, but Lauren also has an immunity win and higher visibility in her corner. Tommy’s a behind-the-scenes kind of guy, which is great for getting stuff done, less good for actually winning the game. With these victories, Lauren makes it a slam dunk for her to win if she gets to the end, but harder for her to actually do so.

TOMMY-Like I said, a stellar social game, but not many firm victories. If he eliminates Lauren, that’s a feather in his cap, and gets back any votes Lauren might siphon off of him. He says he’s down and out with Dan gone, but with everyone else recognizing Lauren’s threat level, I think he’s still got a decent shot. He beats anybody but her, and since everyone likes him, I don’t see them targeting him.

JANET-While not as social as Lauren or Tommy, Janet’s just likable in her own right. She is who she is, and won’t compromise that for anything. I get the feeling, if she gets to the end, the jury will respect that. Add to that some good plays when she was swapped to Lairo (the Tom boot is a particular feather in her cap), and I think Janet’s got a decent shot. It’s a testament to how good Tommy and Lauren’s social games are that they’re the only thing preventing a guaranteed win for Janet.

DEAN-Dean’s not out of the competition yet, but he’s got an uphill battle if he wants to win. True, he’s been the underdog with no real alliance, and so hasn’t pissed off anybody, plus is the last remaining Lairo. But tell me, what victories can Dean point to? Every move he’s made for himself has pretty much made him look like a goober, to the point that he can’t be taken seriously. True, he did play Kellee’s idol correctly, but Kellee can confirm that that move was more her than him, leading to that not really being a victory for Dean. He has a much better shot if he plays that idol nullifier correctly, but without that, I don’t see a Dean victory in the cards.

NOURA-No one respects Noura. No one understands Noura, and that includes Noura. This jury will not reward a crazy game. You want her in the end with you.

A quick heads-up: I stupidly forgot to ask for the day following the finale off. I’ll still watch it live, but if I have to work the next day, I just won’t have time to blog about it immediately afterwards. I promise, as always, not to get any other opinions until I blog, but it won’t be out until like Thursday or Friday instead of Wednesday night. Sorry for any inconvenience, but this doesn’t pay the bills for me.

Man, this show really has its priorities screwed up this season.

-Matt

Title Credit to Jean Storrs.