To all members of the “no screens at any time” crew — this post probably isn’t for you. In fact I know that it isn’t. While we don’t let L manhandle the iPad on a regular basis it’s a well known fact that I love TV more than most people love pizza (and don’t get me started on how much I love pizza). That means we all watch TV in our house and we have access to the best Time Warner Cable can offer (not actually that much), HBO, Netflix, HuluPlus and any other countless number of video/TV/streaming services. That said I have one rule for L regarding television — when she watches TV we both watch TV. Well, that and no Ren and Stimpy until she’s at least 12. This way it becomes an experience for the two of us and not a babysitter. It also means that she watches less crap.

So with that in mind let’s talk about kids programming.

Apparently, Dora is no longer an Explorer. She’s grown up, moved to the city and along the way lost roughly 10" of dress length. She also decided to throw some serious shade at Tico, Benny and the rest of the rainforest crew in a recent episode. So Dora’s out. And god help me if I have to watch Little Einsteins or any of that “my baby learns” bullshit. So what is there to watch if you don’t feel like taking the wee one on a trip down memory lane?

H20 Mermaid Adventures

H20 Mermaid Adventures is an animated version of the popular live action H20 Just Add Water from Australia. The art is beautiful, and while the stories tend to be a bit more on the adult side of things for kids (the show is clearly targeting pre-teens and teens) every episode has a strong girl power vibe. Plus there’s a hermit crab with a toy car for his shell as a supporting character. Win.

The Adventures of Puss in Boots

This is just an amazing take on the revived Puss in Boots (thanks Shrek!). The stories are well fleshed out and the voice acting is superb. Eric Bauza and Jayma Mays are amazing as usual, and the guest stars definitely don’t disappoint. Danny Trejo is the Bandit King. That is all you need to know.

Professor Fizzy’s Lunch Lab

This PBS Kids show is cute, fun, has a frozen vegetable band (Freezer Burn) and a bad guy named Fast Food Freddy. Yes you’ll actually learn something (L wouldn’t stop talking about fiber and calcium for a week after one episode), but thanks to PBS the show is available in digestible nuggets. See what I did there? Yeah I’m not afraid of a good pun every now and then.

So there you go — three new (ish) jewels in the collective pile that is children’s programming that you’ll actually enjoy watching with your kids. At the very least they will handily beat another episode of Franny’s Feet and are unlikely to result in a series of Daniel Tiger-style songs running through your head until you put your fist through the sheetrock that you just replaced after a marathon session of “when we do something new.”

Sorry.

And please, don’t forget to make television a shared experience. Talk about what you’ve watched. Ask questions. Make it interesting. You’ll both learn something, and you won’t have to re-rock the hallway again. I promise.