Since I started doing Caddie Confidential last year, this is the one I'm most excited about. For a former pro caddie who's never experienced looping at Augusta National, being in the caddie shack feels like how high school football players would feel if they were in an NFL locker room on game day.

Two things made this special for me. First, when I walked into the caddie house early in the week, I was introduced as a former caddie now working in media. That might not seem like a big deal to you, but in that place it was an honor and I got treated like a fellow caddie. Second, this week's caddie -- along with all the other caddies I've spoken to -- have that same giddy feeling I described earlier.

I hope you enjoy this very special Caddie Confidential.

There may be no course in the country where a caddie's advice is more important than at Augusta National. (Note: Caddie for this column not pictured.) Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

Collins: Let's start with the caddie "shack." What makes it special compared to other caddie areas from week-to-week?

Caddie: The fried chicken. Honestly it's probably the only area of the year where the players wanna come and hang out with us. Which kinda pisses us all off (joking). And they got really great beer on tap here. I don't know why, but the beer just really tastes better here than it does anywhere else.

Collins: Is there any other tournament where the caddies have their own locker room?

Caddie: No way. No chance. No, I don't think Commissioner [Tim] Finchem would ever allow that. And the players would [complain] because our locker room would be nicer than theirs.

Collins: Caddies this week have their own cook?

Caddie: Yeah Herbert. He's 83 years old. He's awesome! That [guy] is amazing.

Collins: Of all the really cool things about the Masters, what's the coolest for you?

Caddie: Well the hat the caddie gets this week, it only gets worn once a year. Meaning, you have to caddie in the tournament to have that hat. If you don't caddie in the tournament, like the local caddie, you wear a different hat.

Collins: Wait, so the hat people see the caddies wearing during the tournament is only available to the caddies carrying a bag during the Masters?

Caddie: That's correct.

Collins: The yardage books this week are a bit different as well.

Caddie: Cause it's all color?

Collins: Because there are no arrows, no slope, and all the sprinkler heads are only numbered to the front of the greens. So how important is it this week to have good notes?

Caddie: Well that's a given ... but especially this week because this is a second-shot golf course, so you have to know all the spots where the pins are going to be. You have to know where you want to filter the ball into the hole.

Collins: But in the yardage book there are no arrows on the greens (to show severity of the slope).

Caddie: I just go get all that from [Jordan Spieth's caddie Michael] Greller. I think Greller slept here every night (laughing)!

Collins: About how long, normally, until you feel comfortable on this golf course and with the notes that you've taken?

Caddie: I don't know. I'd say there are some guys that have been here 62 times and still aren't comfortable. You got the wind, you got all the other elements ... It's gonna be cold and windy this week. You have all the other outside elements other than just the lore of Augusta National and the Masters to put enough pressure on you.

Collins: What's the most challenging aspect of caddying on this course during the Masters?

Caddie: You're exhausted when you're done. It's way hillier than anyone ever thinks it is. It's a pretty brutal walk.

Collins: Which hole is the hardest to walk?

Caddie: The hill on [No.] 8 is a [pain]. But one of the coolest ones to walk is when you peek over the hill at 11 going down towards 12. That's when it gets really good.

(NOTE: A well-known swing coach sits down and joins the conversation.)

Collins: Why is that walk so cool to you?

Caddie: You can see all the fans on the right, 'cause when you're going down 11 you don't see anyone, then when you go down (towards) 12.

Coach: Boom!

Caddie: Yeah, boom, it's Amen Corner. It's the 12th hole and all the allure. And then you get to the strangest part of the golf course, which is [the] 12[th] green and 13 tee. You can't hear a thing back there' 'Cause everyone is so far away from you, I mean, I don't know how they always clap when you make a putt.

Coach: You can just hear the voices in everyone's head.

Caddie: Yeah you just hear the caddies and the players and that's it (laughing). It's so weird! Then you go back to the 13th tee, and it couldn't be any quieter and [all] you hear is that smack of the ball and whatever your player says to you, and that's it. And then you're running to that [bathroom] over there on 13.

Collins: How important are the "secret" bathrooms around this course?

Caddie: Good 'cause there's only four of them.

Collins: So timing is ...

Caddie: Yeah when you tap out you gotta tap out. Like [UFC fighter] Conor McGregor.

Collins: What's one thing about the Masters people would be surprised to know?

Caddie: Just how cool it is to wear that white jumpsuit. Everybody [complains] about it but everyone wants to wear that thing. I got one at my house.

Collins: No you don't ...

Caddie: You can take it home. They probably don't have one in your size though. You'd have to roll them cuffs way up.

Collins: Fans and players treat this place differently. Do caddies treat it differently too?

Caddie: I mean, yeah. Everybody does. You ask anyone in golf, "What major do you wanna win?" It seems like the Masters. Nobody wants to win the U.S. Open cause it's a s--- show. The PGA [Championship] no one considers it a real major. So then you have the Masters and the British Open.

Collins: Are the local caddies still involved this week?

Caddie: Yeah they help out inside the caddie area all week, they're great.

Collins: Do tour caddies still pick their brains for info?

Caddie: Oh yeah, for sure. Most of those guys are guys that have gone around with players during the week. Not this week but particularly weeks when the players can come and play and do all their scouting. They'll hire the local guy to go around [with them] and get some information. Some of it's great information, some of it isn't useful.

Collins: What's the downside of this week for the caddie?

Caddie: It's exhausting. It's exhausting. Everyone and their grandma wants to get here. Everyone and their grandma wants tickets for free. "Hey you got tickets?" Yeah it's real easy let me just, uh, I'll leave some at will call for ya (sarcastic laughter). Everybody wants some [stuff] from the merchandise tent. It's the Masters and everyone wants a piece of it. You'll get more text messages this week about being on TV than you ever would before. You'll see people from your high school screaming your name out and I'd be like, "Dude, who are you?"

Collins: Hardest hole to pick your club?

Caddie: Twelve. You never know where the wind is going. No question. You never know. No matter what the wind direction, you never know what it's gonna do when it bounces off those trees. [The wind] comes down through the valley on 13, so it's tricky. So all the lore of, "You need to watch this flag that flag" it's all bulls---. You just gotta pull the right club and hope your player executes the shot. And hope the wind is what you're guessing.

Collins: And the red dot (on the course map marking the direction putts are drawn to)?

Caddie: Eh. It's basically a low point on the golf course. I mean it has something to it but, it's not the holy grail. There's also another hidden dot that no one talks about. But I can't talk bout that even in Caddie Confidential.

Collins: Just a hint?

Caddie: There used to be a creek that ran all the way down [No.] 2, all the way down thru [No.] 6. So there's another low spot.

Collins: So there are two low spots?

Caddie: Yeah. Only for Caddie Confidential would you get that info.

Collins: Give me one thing a caddie would change about this place?

Caddie: Wow ... change? I would change the fact that the [members in green jackets] have this little cheat card to know everyone's name. So they would have to try and figure out our names and that would be great 'cause then we'd all be laughing.

Collins: How long did it take you to figure out that the members had a cheat card?

Caddie: My first year here, I'm like, "I've never seen you in my life how the hell do you know my name? And you, and you and you?" So the next year I come back and go, aw these [guys] have a cheat sheet! I caught 'em red handed! I was getting a snack and I saw him pull it out for the next caddie coming up and I was like, "Aw, I got you!" Ask [another caddie] about it. He's all fired up over it. He can't believe that they had it. He's like, "Did you know about this?" I'm all, "Of course I knew about it!"