Wellllll... First of all, Santa was very thorough in their letter - not only was there an itemized list of gifts (which I will duplicate in all of its SIC glory) but the format was swell. LIST TIME:

"gift contents (1) illustrated tote bag. carry things! (1) vintage (2007) PR dvd set that marketing sends to advertisers. burn if you wish. (4) personal notebooks. the kerning on the cover text is bad, please don't be a hater. write business plans or joke ideas inside!! (1) large owl shirt. it's aMAZEing (1) pack of magnets. how do they work? (1) venture bros patch pack. season 6 is happening!"

Notes on this list (no particular order): I: I audibly chortled at "kerning" and "please don't be a hater." Separate ones too, not just one continuous chortle. II: The shirt is literally a maze, get it? It's unfortunate though that I saw the shirt first and thought "oh, it's also a maze" before I read the pun. Should have opened the box from the other side to have had the opportunity to enjoy that little fun bit there. III: Those aren't any ordinary magnets, they include some of my favorite adult swim characters! IIII: (STOP ME, I DARE YOU, FROM USING FOUR I's!) Not only was the letter typed in comic sans, and not only was nearly everything in it lowercase, but the only things that were capitalized weren't necessary to capitalize. Because authority is for suckers! The only hiccup in this pattern was the abbreviation "PR" which was accurately capitalized. I'm a little disappointed by that... /s

Anywho, the letter begins with an apology because Santa was robbed last week, costing me a "trip to europe" that they had planned to gift. While I'm ok with staying in my beautiful home country of Ohio, I am not ok with Santa being robbed. And doubly not ok with the fact that literally within 2 days of receiving this great gift, I too was robbed. Unlike Santa, though, I didn't lose any "vital life things" but rather only my PS4 and my phone (consequently, no pics... just a looooong detailed reply). And in the spirit of my Santa's resilience, I will do my very best to cobble together a situation in which I can ensure that, in spite of me being a broke college kid, my match will not be disappointed in this exchange.