Troll harder: Most annoying Monster Hunter bosses | Technobubble

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Mosquito bites. Nails on a blackboard. That itch on your nose while you're in the dentist's chair.

Life is filled with many annoyances. And when you're a dutiful monster hunter, they tend to come with fangs and trollish tendencies that can make your life miserable.

In honor of the pending arrival of Monster Hunter X in Japan, I've put together my personal list of the most irritating boss monsters I could think of during the course of my Monster Hunter career — mostly as a solo and two-man team hunter — prior to the game's release. Note that the list is weighted more heavily on annoyance and not difficulty, although there certainly are some monsters in here who can be hard to deal with.

And if you can beat the game's tougher monsters? In mere minutes? By yourself? Well, all I can say is, I hate you and the Bullfango you rode in on. Anyway, got other monsters that you think should make the list? Feel free to leave a comment or e-mail me directly and I just might add it.

10. Molten Tigrex: I affectionately call this iteration of the Tigrex family the "newbie killer." I just love how it starts out all slow as molasses and gives first-time M. Tigrex hunters a false sense of confidence. Then it rages like a hot hemorrhoid and you get fainting hunters everywhere. I still remember tag-teaming it for the first time with a cousin who goes, "Guess he's not quite as bad as you said." Then I watched the explosive pinball ensue as he gets pummeled, roared, bounced and blast-blighted to oblivion like stucco exposed to Justin Bieber's eggs and music. Soon, he was asking me if I had any extra mega potions to spare. A few rounds later, he was convincing me that we should go online to get a full team. Hilariously, we apparently got matched up with two first-time M. Tigrex hunters and it was like groundhog day with kitty carts left and right. Ironically, my first time taking him down was when I went solo against him after everyone else rage quit.

9. Silver Rathalos: I love fighting the female Raths such as Pink and Gold Rathian. I find the male Raths, however, to be a bit annoying. As someone who loves fighting monsters straight up without usually resorting to flash bombs and traps, Pink and Gold Rathian are a fun challenge head to head. Silver Rathalos, meanwhile, comes with the annoying tendency male dragons have of flying a lot while also adding wonderful, delicious bounce to the mix. As the only guy who can gun competently among most of the family members I play with, it's funny how happy they look when I enter a Silver Rath fight with a bowgun. It's going down for real.

8. Seregios: I must admit, I typically find hunting the monster known as "Steve" or "Reggie" to be fun. Well, for the most part. I like, for example, how he's designed to punish hunters for ingrained habits, like rolling sideways when dodging, for example. Although his patterns aren't really that hard to deal with, however, that bleed status is certifiably annoying if you don't prepare for it beforehand. Heaven knows how many times I've fainted in a fight where I was doing well, only to mess up once and have that freaking laceration proc and murder my health bar as I try to disengage while the dude is raged. It isn't too bad if you're just doing one or two fights but pity the fool who has to farm this guy's apex form multiple times. Then it just becomes annoying.

7. Najarala: Oh look, a big snake. Let me just poke it with a big stick. I wouldn't describe fighting Najarala as hard but it can be annoyingly tedious. First, it's got that humongous hitbox, which you would think makes it an easy target but also makes it easier for Najarala to hit you. His large size also can make your camera wonk out sometimes, which can be an irritant. Then there's his tendency to chain attacks, which can wipe you out if you're not careful. Like I said, not super hard but potentially annoying. Now Tidal Najarala on the other hand…

6. Cephadrome: Can you dig it? 'Cause Cephadrome sure can. Old-school monster hunters know there's one reason Cephadrome is an irritating tool and that's because this monster loves escaping underground like El Chapo. The only saving grace is that Monster Hunter 4U Cephadrome does not stay underground as much as old-school Cephadrome. That, I can dig.

5. Yian Garuga: This guy. Or girl. Or whatever it is. I find fights against Yian Kut Ku and Qurupeco to be adorable. Yian Garuga, though, brings trolling to a whole new level. A large part of it is that some of his moves come out super fast so you don't have as much time to react. Then you've got its poison attacks as well as its ability to hold you on the spot if you aren't careful. I also could've sworn that it pauses sometimes to mockingly laugh at me. Maybe I'm just losing my mind.

4. Kirin: Oh, Kirin, you majestic "my little pony" you. The first time I ran into Kirin, my reactions was, like, "That's it?" I mean, this monster is certifiably tiny, especially when compared to the game's larger bruisers. Then I tried to hit it. Holy mother of gosh. In addition to his tiny hitbox, this horse loves to gallop around. It's like trying to chase my little toy poodle around the house when he knows I'm planning to give him a bath. Add bounce and well, you've got a long, annoying day ahead of you.

3. Rajang: Most of the monsters in this list are just annoying. This darn, dirty ape is annoying and legitimately hard, particularly when he goes Super Saiyan. Talk about a golden pain in the (something that rhymes with bass). When charged up, Rajang definitely commands respect as it can make you faint at any time if you're careless or just unlucky. I'm sure he's racked up over 9,000 kitty carts online. And while a lot of the monsters in this list are more annoying for blademasters, Rajang can be a pain for gunners, too. Thanks to his closing speed and that super-fast lightning kamehameha beam, the range advantage from gunning doesn't provide as much extra margin of error, making your lower defense an even bigger liability. Add the fact that Rajang hits like a tank and joyrides on the kitty cart can become more frequent. Rajang is one of those guys where I can be having the best hunt ever and reading everything but still feel nervous in the back of my mind that everything could go south anytime if I make just one mistake.

2. Gypceros: Oh, how the mighty have fallen. Derpceros, er, Gypceros might not be as trolly as his old buggy version from the past, which normally would get the top spot for me. Then again, a less annoying Gypceros is still more annoying than most other monsters in this game. I mean, a quick look at its talents show that this monster was designed by someone living under a bridge. How else can you explain having both a flash and poison attack, trolly fake death, plus the fact that it loves to run around so you have to chase it all over the place. Oh yeah, did I mention it swipes your stuff? In short, it lies, it cheats and it steals. The late Eddie Guerrero would be proud.

1. Khezu: When you think about it, Khezu isn't really that difficult. But boy is it annoying. Normal Khezu, Red Khezu, it doesn't matter. Heck, if they ever make a pink, yellow, aubergine or rainbow Khezu, I bet those will be annoying, too. That's because almost every move he does seems like it was designed to troll players, especially if you don't have paralysis resistance. There's that body discharge. Lightning chomp. Lightning bolts on the ground. This guy just loves to spam them. As if Khezu doesn't make life hard enough for blademasters, he climbs up walls, too. Call it a placebo effect but it also seems to always run away just when I'm getting into a groove or when I have, say, triple essence on my Insect Glaive. Darrrrrn yooouuuu, Khezu!!! Oh yeah, get two of them in the same map and get ready for a screaming, good time if you don't have dung bombs. Because I can be a petty, immature person, I now call him "ketsu," which is Japanese for butt. Yep, that sounds about right.

Honorable mention: Kelbidrome. You know what I mean.