Clearly not actively concerned with improving their public image, the New York Police Department now boasts a (currently suspended) sergeant with a habit of forcing his DNA onto female co-workers. Sgt. Michael Iscenko, 54 strange years old, was suspended in June following his troubling encounter with an unnamed civilian administrative aide. Iscenko reportedly splattered his semen onto the aide, a claim inarguably backed up by security camera footage. The video shows a uniformed Iscenko crouching down behind the woman before throwing the semen onto her legs and shoes, Gothamist reports.

Though an immediate test of the unwanted fluid confirmed its gross status as gross semen from a gross man, the Manhattan District Attorney's office didn't obtain a warrant to demand a DNA sample from Iscenko until this week. A predictably unnamed source tells the Daily News that Iscenko was simply "so enamored with [the co-worker] that he threw semen on her."

As proven by the bizarrely calm apologist quoted above, police officers are certainly not above committing heinous acts of unsettlingly animalistic advances. In fact, they usually get away with it.