‘Twas the night before Christmas,

And all through the house.

Not a creature was stirring,

Except for the person stuffing the stocking of someone they love with a death positive gift that shows how much they support that person’s completely normal interest in mortality.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Hello deathlings! I’m just going to say it: don’t get someone socks for the holidays. (Unless they’re anatomical or skeleton-themed socks. In which case go for it.) Instead, get them something morbid that they can enjoy all year round.

Since I myself am terrible at gifts, I want to help you not be terrible at gifts by finding things your loved ones are guaranteed to adore. In fact, I’m SO sure they’ll love these items, if they don’t, I’ll let you send them to me. *wink*

Disclaimer: I know some of these are North America-centric, because the price of international shipping is “your firstborn childe.” Sorry guys!

Click on each item for a bigger look.

So, yes. Ok. This is my own book. I understand you can’t put your own book in a “must have” holiday list. That’s just obscene. But don’t you want your loved ones to face their mortality this holiday season? ‘Tis the season to ACCEPT DEATH. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes, $19-24.

Who is this? Who is my squishy? Who is my squishy little reaper? Reapykins? Reapypoo? Deathmeister? Who’s gonna die? Who’s gonna die? Yes you are. Oh yes you are! Mini Squishable Grim Reaper, $19.50

Erica at Burke & Hare Co has an eye for the effortlessly macabre. Her candles (I’ve had many) last forever. My morbid gift selections are the Tarot Death Candle, $15 and Skull Plate, $18.

You know how Catholic Church used to decorate their martyr’s skeletons with gold lace and precious jewels and display them to the faithful? Well now you do. Order-member Paul Koudounaris has access to photograph some of the most bonkers things, his book Heavenly Bodies, $24.59 is an elegant addition to any stocking of woe.

If you want to give them something useful, look no further than Morbid Anatomy’s 2015 wall calender, $20. The pictures from hidden museums are complemented by noting the REALLY important dates (like Edward Gorey’s birthday).

Death Salon and the Order have tote bags! Wear them and prepare to answer the horrified questions of the pearl clutchers in your town. Yes Virginia, we do think about death. Totes, $15

This little cutie right here. Here’s your assignment: buy 200 of these, fill an entire Christmas tree with crow skulls. Don’t waste your time on all that yuletide crap. Suck it Santa. Ho ho crow skull. Crow Ornament, $23

Ok, I know I said $25 is the budget, and this is $27. But if you want a Lady Skeleton Cameo on a apron, you want a Lady Skeleton Cameo on an apron. Don’t you see? The heart wants what it wants. Fly free, heart!

I’m not supposed to be buying gifts for myself. This is for other people, Caitlin! But this Edward Gorey mug, $12.50, from his book the The Awdry-Gore Legacy, might be a Secret Santa gift to me. That’s right. I’m my own Secret Santa.

Ken Tanaka’s book Everybody Dies, $10 has it all. The straight talk about death (“cute animals die, and so do scary ones”), adorable pictures, and a relatable message. DEATH.

For the book lover (don’t you love books? WHY DON’T YOU LOVE BOOKS?) there is a plethora of additional options on the Order’s reading list. Happy Holidays everyone, and remember that family gatherings are an excellent time to discuss your wishes for your death care.