Steven Gerrard has signed a 1 week contract with former club Liverpool so that he might collect his first Premier League medal. The unusual move comes after fans campaigned for the legendary midfielder to be included in what has become a victory procession.

Easy

“It was an easy decision,” Gerrard told Soccer on Sunday. “I chucked Jermain Defoe the keys to Ibrox, told him the alarm code is 4581 and said I’ll be back in a fortnight. Probably some Rangers fans won’t like it, but they have to understand that I consider the club bin juice compared to Liverpool. That’s just me being honest.”

“I’m over the moon,” said the former Reds captain. “The gaffer said fucking Dejan Lovren out of the squad to make way for me is one of the hardest things he’s ever done.”

“I wished Lovo well on WhatsApp,” added Gerrard. “Although I think Hendo might have fucked him out of the group before he read the message, to be fair.”