Just days after leaving her judge's post at "American Idol," singer Paula Abdul announced that her next gig will be serving on the nation's very first death panel.

While details of the panel remain sketchy, Ms. Abdul said that it will most likely be showcased on a reality show, tentatively called "So You Think You Can Live."

News of Ms. Abdul's new duties raised eyebrows in official Washington, where many questioned whether the former "Idol" judge had the qualifications to make life-or-death decisions.

But for her part, Ms. Abdul was dismissive of the naysayers: "Hello, I held Clay Aiken's life in my hands. Whatever. Where am I again?"

More here.

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About author Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, Andy Borowitz is a comedian and writer whose work appears in The New Yorker and The New York Times, and at his award-winning humor site, BorowitzReport.com . He is performing at the 92nd St. Y on April 30 at 8 PM with special guests Judy Gold, Hendrik Hertzberg, and Jonathan Alter. For tickets, go to 92y.org