It's painful for him to recall that night — even now.

But what happened to Rajaie Elshorafa on the night of Oct., 21, 2017 is forever etched in his struggling memory.

"I don't want to go back there. I don't want to remember because it's hurting me when I want to remember," said Elshorafa, who is speaking out publicly for the first time since the incident.

The 56-year-old father of three was badly beaten outside of his business, Horton Variety, in downtown London. The attack shocked residents and almost killed Elshorafa.

Elshorafa — known to his customers as Roger — said he was attacked that night when he stepped outside of his store.

"Somebody started hitting me and I don't know anything about what happened … I was [taken] to the hospital and I was completely out of mind," he said from his home in west London, where he continues to recover.

The motive remains unclear. A suspect was arrested. But the beating initially robbed Elshorafa of his ability to walk, talk, eat or even remember his wife and children.

'It was terrible'

Elshorafa was rushed to the London Health Sciences Centre in critical condition, where he immediately underwent brain surgery. Another surgery followed, resulting in a scar that runs across the top of his head.

Elshorafa was put into an induced coma for three weeks.

His wife Manal Baliha nervously waited for any signs of life. She said doctors were not hopeful.

"It was terrible, it was terrible, very terrible," she recalls. "I was very depressed because it's something that happened so suddenly and [it was such] a shock. Especially because I have young kids, they are so young. I couldn't think about this life without my husband and on my own."

Their children — two twin boys, 7, and one girl, 3 — "were very angry" to see their father in such a weak state.

After months in hospital, Elshorafa returned to his home in west London this spring. (Hala Ghonaim/CBC)

'This is my life and I accept it'

It was three months before Elshorafa finally began to show signs of recovery.

He was transferred to the Parkwood Institute in London for two more months of rehabilitation where he gradually regained his speech, memory and motor skills.

"Hamdulilah," said Baliha. "Thank god."

"He's back to normal but not 100 per cent — only 60 per cent," she said.

"This is my life and I accept it. I accept what god had planned for me. It's okay," her husband added.

Elshorafa continues to go for physiotherapy twice a week.

Surgeries have resulted in a linear scar that runs across the top of Elshorafa's head. He says it has made him self-conscious. (Hala Ghonaim/CBC)

'We want to thank everybody'

Elshorafa had run Horton Variety for close to two decades.

Prior to the attack, he had plans to rent out his newly-renovated store along with the apartment upstairs. Now the business is closed and the building has been sold off to a nearby property owner.

Elshorafa was the family's sole breadwinner. The family is now getting by thanks to support from loved ones and the broader community.

"We were very happy. We want to thank everybody," said Baliha, who said the family received about $20,000 from crowd funding efforts.

Elshorafa has never returned to Horton Variety. The business was closed and building has been sold. (Hala Ghonaim/CBC)

Accused back in court this month

Although the family is trying to cope with the painful aftermath, they continue to search for closure.

"I just want to ask why," said Baliha when asked about what she would do if she ever came face to face with her husband's alleged attacker.

Never, never, never. I never [want] to face him - Rajaie Elshorafa

Jessie McConnell was arrested in the Waterloo area after about three weeks on the run. He is scheduled to appear next in court on May 16.

(London Police) The 22-year-old, who's no stranger to the justice system, is charged with one count of aggravated assault.

Court documents show that McConnell was charged with possessing meth, trying to buy sex and damaging a car the same year he allegedly attacked Elshorafa.

"Never, never, never. I never [want] to face him," said Elshorafa.

However, the family plans to follow any trial closely.

"I have to know what ends up happening [to] somebody who destroyed my life and destroyed my husband's life ... I need to know," said Baliha.

Future uncertain

In the meantime, Elshorafa is trying to come to terms with the incident that stripped him of his physical health and well-established career.

He is unable to drive, his memory is foggy, and his mood swings have affected his relationship with his children.

Elshorafa said he is thinking about going back to school or perhaps opening up a new store elsewhere.

But for now, he's holding on.