i love you gachimuchisuperherokanyewest

alright first off dont expect good grammer from me i dont know how to speek enmglish secdndly dont ever fuckign question me also i wrote this whole thingf instead of a paper thats due in 3 days fuck school everyone jsut dorp out and become a stripper or some shit who cares lOL HAHA

To begin with, when Gabe drafted me I had no idea who he was or anything about his other two picks, Nera and Jabinskiz. After this season I’m kinda starting to wish it stayed that way. (((fuck jabinskiz)))

Nera aka i hope ur back is fine after this season

Yeah this guy’s good. He took over the captain role after like week 4 or some shit and probably had the best back workout week after week of playing with our team. Some giga brained shot calling mixed with giga brained drafting led us to somehow making it to playoffs despite me being in the team. Very fun guy to play with, hard on himself but he carried our dumb asses so who cares??????? 10/10 gaymer, 10/10 human bean

this is nera irl if he claims otherwise hes a lying sack of shit cuz hes an elite gamer with this stupid fucking pink fluff

2. Gabe aka Goob aka Goobriel Goobstein aka GOOM aka shut the fuck up gabe go play smash and dont forget to schedule us a scrim

Shut the fuck up Gabe aka i wish he could only play dazzle and veno for the rest of his life cuz god knows he cant play anything else mid. This monkey picked me for WHATEVER REASON cuz I’m literally 2k trash and I’m a boosted party MMR goon. But I love this guy cuz he’s always PMA except when he’s not, always good at veno except when he’s not, and always a good captain except when he’s not. Thing’s may have gone south for us towards the end but I think we always had a good time during games and whatever scrims we had and laughter was always aplenty. 0/10 mid player on anything except for dazzle and veno in which case he’s a 7/10 and 10/10 person cuz he managed to keep up with my unbridled autism.

o captain my captain please do your job and schedule us a scrim

3. Jabinskiz aka the guy i probably griefed the most aka i cant believe the enemy team didnt ban brew against us

Jabinskiz was my lane partner and I don’t know how we did it but we managed to do well in most lanes. Maybe it was because the enemy was bad, maybe it was because they gave him Brew 90% of games. All I know is that 100% of the time we were slapping our dicks on the keyboard and thus slapping our dicks on the enemy safe lane. He’s a skilled offlaner who put up with my poor play and wanted to always go apeshit whenever and wherever which is the ideal gamer for a goon like me. I had a good time lanign with him and I hope he did with me. 9/10 offlaner, 15/10 brew player, 10/10 lane partner.

because i dont know what jabinskiz looks like id imagine this is a fairly faithful representation of him irl. the beer is the main reason as to why hes such a good brewmaster i bet

4. steven

dude am i supposed to review myself

I’m fucking awful at this game ask anyone who’s played with me. I don’t play greedy enough for pos 4, I feed and grief every game. Thank god my team carried me literally every week. I’m not actually gonna review myself cuz I’m not egotistical and I know that I’m trash at dota anyways so who cares dont pick me my medal is a FUCKING LIE im literally anti value 0/10 gamer, 0/10 person to be around

5. Bakadura

Dude this guy put in so much work thinking up some meme-worthy picks that worked sometimes. Sure he’s not the most skilled player, sure he may have griefed Nera’s lane, but he tried his best, and listened to what the rest of us had to say and that’s the most important part of this league. He’s also a massive fuck maker that he even has his own #fuck-corner. 5/10 hero pool, 6/10 suppoort player, 10/10 listener, 100000/10 fuck maker supreme giga brain gamer

this is how you know hes a fuck maker when we only have 2 channels and one of them is explicitly for his fuck making

5. 33% jakiro win rate aka 33 aka dude jakiro fucking owns i think u just suck with him

33 oh 33 you maniacal doom player you. Like Bakadura, also a support player who may not be the best mechanically, but is also a great listener. Vastly different hero pool from Bakadura, but small all the same. This guy fucking loves doom and I can see why. He played way above his skill level on that champ and worked well within our team’s limits. Seriously pick this guy pos 5 doom. 5/10 hero pool, 10/10 doom gamer (almost as good as the GOOM), 10/10 giga alcoholic chad.

33% at 100% power dont ever fuck with this dude

All in all the team was a ton of fun, and even if we lost some games we laughed about it and had a good time the whole season. I hope I get to see these guys again in future seasons and god forbid I captain next season and draft one of you goons.

Also adjust me down im not 4k