Last night the tradition of unforgettable performances on the Village Underground stage continued as all five members of the Kids in the Hall exploded onto the stage for an episode of Unmasked with Ron Bennington that will not be forgotten. It was a packed house where nobody stayed in their seats, including the audience and the performers as Bennington presided over a wild night of comedy and raucous behavior. Promoting their first tour in seven years, Dave Foley, Bruce McCullough, Kevin McDonald, Mark McKinney and Scott Thompson created an atmosphere of madness as they shared some stories so crazy that most of the audience couldn’t tell which ones were true and which ones were pure fantasy. There was a manic vibe to the event, part performance, part interview and all so hysterical the audience wasn’t sure what hit them.

The hour kicked off with the Kids doing an extended “mic check medley” that included singing, hitting each other with mics, and we think we even heard someone hailing a taxi, which led into an abbreviated singalong of “These are the Daves I know.” Constantly cutting each other off- and cutting each other down, there was so much happening; this is one of those hours you’ll want to listen to a few times just to figure out what the f*ck you just heard. There was a lot of physicality– mostly from Scott Thompson who at one point went into the fetal position, and at other points feigned seizures or impersonated panda bears. Fortunately for those listening via satellite radio, Mark McKinney provided top notch narration of everything happening in the room.

In between the bouts of improv, there were stories– so many stories, and whether they were true or not, they’re going to become classics.

These are 12 things we learned from the Kids in the Hall Unmasked.**

1. Don’t do ecstasy with Michael Musto from the Village Voice. Kevin McDonald told a great story about doing ecstasy with Musto. Yes there was cuddling, but if you’re going to end up getting panned in the Village Voice the next day, it really hurts. Musto also called him bisexual, apparently not knowing the molly cuddle rules. Were sweaty palms to blame?

2. Liberals are thin skinned these days, and that’s good for comedy. Scott Thompson said that their act seems a lot duller now that society has become more liberal. “We used to be cutting edge, now its just like, will you shut up already.” Luckily, he said, there’s always someone to shock, and these days it’s the thin skinned liberals. Thompson said “They’re the ones that are easy to screw around with now. Those are the ones whose buttons I like to press.” It only takes one word to take down liberals. It starts with the letter F and can cause epileptic like fits.

3. Richard Lewis, Fuckhead. The KITH said Richard Lewis was not welcoming to them when they came to New York. In fact, Allan Havey and Richard Belzer were the only comedians who were nice to them when they came to New York. But Richard Lewis? Fuckhead. Shout out to Kevin Meaney! And you can listen to the clip below.

4. SNL Rejected 30 Helens. The “Thirty Helens Agree” sketch idea on the Kids In The Hall Show was originally a promo that Bruce McCulloch wrote for Saturday Night Live that got rejected. VERY rejected.

5. Sketch is better than Stand Up. According to Dave Foley, when stand up goes badly, it feels terrible. And when it goes great, it still just feels okay. But when you do shows with the KITH if it goes great, it feels great, and when it’s terrible, it still feels great. Because it’s somebody else’s fault.

6. Scott Thompson is Friends With Laurence Fishburne. Scott Thompson is in the cast of Hannibal. Sort of. According to Mark, “He’s not really in it. They call him up every 37 days and say can you come and stand like, waaaay over there. No further, further, go into the shadow, and…action.” But there is an upside. Scott had all of his Hannibal celebrity friends down to the show the other night. Laurence Fishburne and his wife. Claire Danes. and Hugh Dancy which is either a person or a type of male pantyhose?

7. Pigs are good tender in meth deals. Dave Foley once received a pot bellied pig as payment for a meth deal that had gone wrong in San Diego. Or did it go right?

8. You can censor the KITH but you can’t stop the KITH. When the Kids In The Hall were on CBC, the crew revolted and refuse to build the props and the set for “Dr. Seuss’ Bible”. They had to bring in outside carpenters to build everything for the sketch during their first season.

9. Cancer Boy Killed the Brain Candy Sequel. Mark McKinney said that reason there was no sequel to the Kids In The Hall film “Brain Candy” was because of the character “Cancer Boy”. The guys fought to keep Cancer Boy in the movie and McKinney called it a “Pyrrhic Victory”. They won the battle but lost the war. The guys also explained that the movie Paramount was expecting was a little bit more “fun” and “sketchy” than the movie they actually made. They cut the screens from 1,000 to 400 and pulled all the advertising. Oh, and also the movie bombed. Listen to the clip below.

10. The FBI investigated the KITH for B&E. The FBI once contacted the Kids In The Hall about one of their sketches. This was the one featuring Dave Foley and Kevin McDonald as Jerry Sizzler and Jerry Sizzler, the Sizzler Sisters. In Washington DC, there was a rash of house robberies and the burglars were writing on the wall, “The Sizzler Sisters”. The feds wanted to know if somehow the Kids In The Hall were involved in the rash of crimes. They were investigated for breaking and entering.

11. Lorne Michaels saved the group. He discovered them, and he had done it before so he knew how to leave them alone. He also knew enough not to pull the group apart for Saturday Night Live. It was his decision to keep them as a group. And once he gave them cars. And the thanks he got? They sold the cars, and portrayed him as a villain.

12. Fellatio can save your life. Scott Thompson could have died when he swallowed a tiny plastic sword from his martini. You’ll never guess what saved his life. Listen to the clip below.

** Listen today to learn a lot more as Unmasked with The Kids in the Hall premieres Friday on SiriusXM’s Raw Dog Comedy Hits 99 at 2pm eastern time during the Bennington Show. Replays take place on Friday at 11pm et and Saturday at 1am et on Opie Radio, and again on Raw Dog on Saturday at 7pm et and Sunday at 2pm and 10pm et, and on Indie at 9pm et on Friday, 11am et on Saturday and 11am et on Monday, and you’ll be able to listen via On Demand.

Listen to ‘The Kids in the Hall Call Richard Lewis a Fuckhead’

Listen to ‘Why There Wasn’t a Sequel to Brain Candy’

Listen to “Oral Skills Saved Scott Thompson’s Life’ (NSFW)