Barry’s Carpet and Tiling Warehouse, a discount provider of rugs, carpets, tiles, linoleum and more, has joined the ranks of those businesses who are proud to fight for free speech and freedom of expression.

“We’re absolutely committed to fighting SJWs, whatever those are,” explained owner and manager Barry Granston to Point & Clickbait.

“I’m not going to be shamed, by, uh, feminists,” said Granston, reading from a hastily scrawled note. “I’m here and online willing to fight against hash SJWs. Do I pronounce the hash? Wait, are you recording?”

Granston’s previously struggling business has seen an explosion in popularity online ever since he started slavishly and blatantly pandering to disgruntled anti-feminists and GamerGate supporters.

“I first got the idea when I saw Play Asia doing it, and then some shitty third-rate ride-sharing app I’d never heard of got in on the act,” explained Granston. “So I made a Twitter account too and made some shit up about an SJW trying to stop me selling linoleum or whatever.”

“Now business is booming!”

Granston has spent the last few hours carefully researching images of salt mines, so that he can have the perfect response if someone criticises him for his disgustingly obvious attempt to prop up his failing business.

“I’ll tell them they’re salted,” he explained, showing us several extremely fresh memes he’d created in MS Paint and then photographed with his phone camera, in anticipation of owning an SJW online.

“Extremely salted.”

GamerGate supporters have expressed some doubt over the veracity of Granston’s story, but say “at this point, we’ll take whatever we can get”.