Rachael is a mom, hobby photographer, and digital designer. She is a freelancer with a digital design Etsy shop.

I have always said that schizophrenics are the most honest people you will meet. They are one of the only groups of people who give you the truth as they see it. I know this statement may sound a little contradictory, since most of the time the things schizophrenics say aren't actually true or reflected in reality. However, to the schizophrenic person, it is very true.

Let's take a look inside the world of a schizophrenic.

Definition: Schizophrenia is a serious mental illness characterized by incoherent or illogical thoughts, bizarre behavior and speech, and delusions or hallucinations, such as hearing voices. The condition typically begins in early adulthood.

Schizophrenia in the News

Creative minds 'mimic schizophrenia'

Creativity is akin to insanity, say scientists who have been studying how the mind works.

Creativity is akin to insanity, say scientists who have been studying how the mind works. Sexual Assault Increases Risk for Psychosis and Schizophrenia

New research shows that a history of sexual trauma or rape may increase risk for schizophrenia or psychosis even years after the assault.

New research shows that a history of sexual trauma or rape may increase risk for schizophrenia or psychosis even years after the assault. Brain patterns may show mental illness risk

British scientists believe they have found specific patterns of brain activity in children and young people which could be signs or 'markers' of schizophrenia.

Inside a Psychiatric Facility

I used to work on the wards with schizophrenics in our state hospital. The hospital was designed mostly for the criminally insane. What that means is that these people were convicted of a crime but were deemed incompetent to stand trial. I met some very interesting people while working in the state hospital. It was actually my dream job, too bad I don't work there now.

Schizophrenics tend to see things and hear things that are not there. They have voices that command them to do things and delusions that make them paranoid. While in training to work for the hospital, I remember doing an exercise that put you right into the heads of a schizophrenic. Everyone in the room had to take on a role. My role was to put on a headset and listen to the tape player. I had to do everything it told me to do. Other people in the class were making conversations with the plants and picking up blue men off the floor. The exercise was a pandemonium of chaos for the next thirty minutes. While it was fun, I got a glimpse into what it was like to be schizophrenic, at least simulated version, I can't imagine what it is really like for these people.

The comparisons of brains

Stories About Real Schizophrenics

One woman I worked for would wake up every day and accuse me of stealing her bras. She said that I was stealing her undergarments and hiding them so that she would not be able to wear them. No matter how much I explained that this is not what happened, she would not believe it.

Another woman would get up in the middle of the night (I worked the overnight shift) and say that there was something under her bed, tapping and shaking the bed. I would go with a flashlight to check, except there was no under the bed for this thing to be under. The beds are made of blocks of wood, resting on the floor and topped with a mattress. She also smelled gyros at 2am and wanted to ride a pony through the wards.

A man I met in the ward ate an entire Bible - his colon got stopped up and he had to have surgery. He ate the Bible because he thought that he had to have God inside of him to make him live. He also did not shower except when the sensors in his hands told him it was okay to do so.

There was another man who had schizophrenia, dementia, and HIV - he was like a record on repeat every morning. He said the exact same thing, at the exact same time every morning. Same mannerisms, same words, same facial expressions. "Your mama don't dance and your daddy don't rock and roll." And he would shake his hips at me. He would swivel them around and say, "I'm just a sweet transvestite," from Rocky Horror Picture Show.

The Sad Stigma of Schizophrenia

There is a stigma about schizophrenics, like most people with mental illnesses. These people are just different from us. In most cases, they are not going to harm anyone. There are times when they will. They need treatment and they need therapy - all of which can be available to them. Just because the media links schizophrenia to criminal violence - does not make it true, but it does perpetuate the stereotype and stigma associated with this disease.

A lot of times society is living in its own state of schizophrenia when it comes to these people. These people are suffering a disease that steals their brain and tends to take control of their thoughts and belief systems. Though their speech and behavior can be frightening and confusing to on-lookers, it is a good bet that these people are more frightened of you than you are of them.

They are withdrawn and scared, with little to no human contact, because they are afraid of what they will do or what someone will do to them. Its not a comforting life to live, it's a life of paranoia and hallucinations. Always thinking someone is out to get you, thinking you have to do things in order for other things to happen. Having voices from inside your head telling you that you are worthless. This is not the kind of life I would like to live.

Next time you see a schizophrenic on the TV - in movies or television series - make sure what you are watching is based in fact. There is already too much misinformation out there. These people already go through enough without having half-truths and lies representing them.

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

Mona Sabalones Gonzalez from Philippines on July 05, 2020:

I appreciate the sympathetic tone you have in this article about schizophrenics. It is admirable that you were very open to the patients and you were willing to experience what it is like to have their illness. I especially like it when you said that schizophrenics are the most honest people in life. That is very true, and you are very wise.

Dominica Romeo from Troy, NY on July 05, 2020:

Good article! I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia in 2005. It's difficult to try and explain my delusions. Partly because it's embarassing and also very intricate and detailed to recall accurately. I agree about a schizophrenic being very afraid. I do not like that schizophrenia is associated with violence in a lot of people's minds. The stigma is harmful to the schizophrenic and to society at large, and I hope it changes.

Priti kavle on September 06, 2017:

Hi sir pls guide me for my schizophrenic brother.now a days he is getting sexual attack.we r not able to handle him.

TIMOTHY on August 19, 2017:

I've been diagnosed with schizoaffective anxiety disorder sleep deprivation up for 2 to 3 days at a time depression Fort Erie boat lumbar chronic pain and always having to tell the truth being straightforward the worst thing is feeling like nobody believes you and I could actually see the worst in people because I know and that's not being paranoid schizo effective if you know like you saying you better around schizophrenia and difference between schizoaffective I know when I do hear something it's fake and I know when it's real and when it's not

Priscilla on July 25, 2017:

My beautiful 17 year old niece was diagnosed on July 5, 2017. This has been a shock to the family, I can't stop crying. I think about her and pray for her. I don't know what to do, am trying to be strong. She's been through so much, and I will always be there for her. Thank you for your article.

Jean on July 10, 2017:

Thank you for your article. My son was diagnosed in 2013 with paranoid schizophrenia. He was 25 years old. He's now 29 and when I say schizophrenia is a sad and lonely disease I am not exaggerating. I love my son with all my heart and soul. He is without a doubt, the sweetest, most gentle person I know. Sadly, this is not enough for him because he does not go anywhere, has no friends of his own anymore, although his sister's friends all adore him! My twin grandchildren, especially the boy twin is so attached to his uncle it makes me cry because I remember my son when he was four years old, and my grandson is so like him. When I say it makes me cry, it's not that I feel something is wrong with my grandson's adoration of his Uncle but that I feel wistful or homesick for my son. I wish sometimes I could go back there to his four year old self and have fun with him again. Your article is so kind and I wish more people would get to know more people who have schizophrenia and see they really are special people.

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on April 09, 2015:

@Ellen, thanks for stopping in and sharing your story. I really do hope you find some peace with yourself and your diagnosis. Good luck with your recent removal of your medicine!

Ellen on April 07, 2015:

Hello,

I am 24 years old female i was diagnosed with schizophrenia on 2008 .. I think by far it was most cruel / tough times i have ever experienced no matter how i try to put it in words.

I never really shared my thoughts with the people around me and i never told my phsyciatrist what im thinking of because i had a fear that they wont believe me, but back then i was very sure of what i was thinking even though it didn't make any sense, like when i thought i am a messenger from god. i heard voices that were insulting me everywhere i go and i could hear them in the shower and i really believed there are people spying on my bathroom. there were moments when i lose feeling of time and stay sitting for hours without moving or talking and i was unable to prepare meals for me or dress myself because it was hard to decide the correct order to do things or how to start.

I had to leave college and i never had my bachelor because i made a joke of myself when i attended while sick. I was first sick on september 2008 then i had 2 replases in the following years. I was just recently put off medicines by my doctor advice . I am not sure if there is a hope of full recovery and that it will not strike again.

I managed to get a diploma in art and design and I'm running my own business now.

I feel fine really except the fact of that im ashamed of my behaviour in the public back then. The only problem is that i t cant find a partner who is willing to accept my condition nor to accept the fact is that i may never find anyone.I am trying to do the things i love but i still dont know how to escape my loneliness especially that all my siblings are married and living away ., and am worried about what is the future is holding for me . sorry for the long comment

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on March 15, 2015:

@camille - I am sorry I can't advise you on what to do in this situation. You have to do what you feel is right for you in your own circumstances. But, thank you so much for reading and commenting. I wish you nothing but the very best!

camille on February 28, 2015:

How do you stay with a spouse who d o not want to get medical help?

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on October 31, 2014:

@Pico Triano - I'm glad you found this helpful. I hope you continue to learn more. :) Thanks for reading!

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on September 15, 2014:

Hi there @justagirl. I appreciate your comment and reading my article. I would suggest looking into assistance programs that may be available in your area to help with any questions on possible assistance with a relative with mental illness.

Just a girl on September 14, 2014:

Hello! I want to agree with all said in this well-written article. Unfortunately like 2 moths ago I understood that my aunt have been suffering from schizophrenia for something like 20-21 years. But she is a very good person, she is unable to harm you and is the most honest person I've ever met. She is now taking a medicine that in accordance with my mother is the exact medicine she needs. She seems to be OK know but who knows? I've mostly heard that schizophrenia can't be cured, just prevented or stopped for an unknown period of time. She haven't been in a madhouse as far as I know but she and my grandma (her mother) visit a psychiatrist in the capital city of my country. I've cried. I don't deny it but I also haven't stopped to believe that now she's well and will keep on being well. I don't feel ashamed of her! I don't have any reasons. We don't select to be ill... Her mental illness was provoked from a medicine that was not the medicine she needed to use, because of one incompetent doctor... It's a pity! But I have some questions to ask if its possible, of course. My grandma and my aunt have a flower shop. They both work there but my grandma does not permit her to work a lot and today I have heard them discussing this. My aunt was saying that she has to work, and my grandma that she doesn't have to work. Is there something like the ill people don't have to work too much or what? And I want to say that when my aunt is in the shop she's just selling flowers and making bouquets, she's not doing the hard part of this job (because in their little shop there are a lot of hard parts). I've heard that the doctor of my aunt has told her only to work 5-6 hours per day but I am not sure about that. I will appreciate if you take your time to read my big comment (sorry for that) and respond me.

John from New Brunswick, Canada on September 08, 2014:

Voted up this excellent hub. My oldest son was diagnosed with schizophrenia this summer. Difficult for the whole family but it explains so much of what was happening with him. We have a lot of learning to do on the subject. Currently am reading A Beautiful Mind.

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on September 03, 2014:

@greeneyedblondie - absolutely it's important to educate yourself and make sure that stigma doesn't cloud your judgement. It's great to find another supporter of the mentally ill.

greeneyedblondie on August 18, 2014:

Ever since I watched "A Beautiful Mind" I have a new perspective on mental health. I had to watch it in health class and for several months in that class we had to discuss mental illness stigmas and how they've changed over the centuries (in midevil times people with mental illness just walked around in public like everything else, but in ancient Rome times they locked them away). I'm glad I'm not the only one that respects Schizophrenics.

Portulaca on May 30, 2014:

Since I last wrote, my car was stolen from the driveway one morning about 1 am. I was awakened by the sound of it pulling out of the driveway. The gravel was disturbed. I took the dog out in the morning and said "Something is missing....the car is gone!" I know that I didn't do it because my medicine puts me in a deep sleep. I have the keys plus, I think I had the thief's keys....little keys on a keychain. I called the officer back again and gave him the little keys found on the opposite side of the yard. I had just gotten my safe driver discount. I am a good driver. I didn't get my license until I was nearly 30. Over last week I have been thinking about the first brain injury I got. I was at school and was about 11 years old. I had never played softball and didn't know how dangerous it was to swing the bat when you run to first. I must have hit this girl in the arm or leg because she then hauled off and hit me in the head with the bat. After that, I can only guess. My mother told me today no one told her about it. I can believe that. I should have been taken to the hospital but wasn't. That was around 1970. Anyway, my friend is in the hospital with pneumonia. It is nice to know that someone will read this. Things always get better. You just have to stay strong and take care of yourself. It always helps for me to write or type these things down. Sometimes I will go through what I have written and doubt it like it was my imagination but I am pretty sure that I got hit in the head with a bat the first time at age 11. Another thing that bothers me is I had this bitchy teacher who chewed me out in the fourth grade for saying "yes, ma'm." My parents taught me manners and then I got chewed out for being nice. Other times with that teacher and then the stomach aches started the same time every day. The next year I would be in the hospital. I was in unblievable pain. The doctor said it was just gas at first until it was found that I was missing some of my intestines. In fact, during a tubaligation my gynocologist found that I was missing my appendix and had no appendectomy scar. Being schizophrenic I can only guess what happened to it. Maybe I was born without it like my cousin is missing something in her inner ear. But I think it may have burst and God willing I lived. I hear mentally ill people often go back begrudging people in their childhood. Well these so-called normal people sure do too.

susan on May 18, 2014:

Jessica w that sounds like schizophrenia to me, my brother can tell me sometimes when his ideas about events aren't part of reality, and other times he can't seem to tell the difference and reacts emotionally to his paranoid delusions. He claims people said things to him, like a random cashier at a grocery store, that they NEVER said. Horrible things. And he reacts emotionally to the imagined comments.

Jessica w. on May 17, 2014:

My mother is a paranoid schizophrenic and in complete denial.. I am 25, she is 45. I started noticing it when I was about 1O. She has always lived with my grandma until 3 years ago, now she's on her own.. She has been evicted 3 times, she thinks she has a child that doesn't exist, she thinks,people are following her from highschool, & she has this thing where she thinks people are other people.. Does that make sense? An example would be she met "bob" in 2012 then she met "joe" in 2014 she thinks joe is really bob but he's using another name for what reason? I don't know. She thinks people are always trying to harm children.. This is so out of control. What can I do? She's never been diagnosed.

Portulaca on May 10, 2014:

Keep your reciepts and make copies of them. The rude lady that noticed something was wrong with me at the electric company, I could feel it, she did not credit my account but I have my reciept and my mother. It was Tues. at the latest. I got a reciept and gave it to my mother. I shouldn't be getting a bill on Saturday that claims I didn't pay them! Now it makes me wonder if they really did credit the LEAP check. I'm never paying anyone with cash again.

Portulaca on May 07, 2014:

I found out the tree on campus that I like is called a Sweet Betsy. It has maroon colored flowers. I found it in a magazine at the electric company. I still can't believe my bill was so high since I was supposed to get a credit of $300 on the LEAP check. They assured me I did. Someone gave me some clothes and I washed and dried them, so maybe it is because I used the dryer. I just like my laundry to smell like my laundry. I'm not particular about too many things since mental illness and poverty seem to hit it off well....but I like my laundry to smell like flowers and I always add baking soda to stretch the suds and make the clothes softer. And I don't like the new microfiber sheets. I'd rather sleep on cotton even if they are old cotton sheets. I was allergic to acrylic for a long time but I'm getting better. When the cat gets in my face it reminds me of Martians. I suppose if the greys really do exist they have visited mentally ill people as well as mentally fit people. Why is it always is the person crazy that saw the aliens and UFO's ? Why not? Recently I picked up the book "Communion" and was reading it. Yes, that is pretty much what happened to me. Except when I try to remember it everything is like a puzzle piece. So if I had to blame anyone for the onset of my illness, schizophrenia, it would be the Martians (I'm old-fashioned)...when I was growing up they were called Martians. Greys is a better word. But they are actually greyish-green like the color of something you let rot in the fridge. And they are leathery looking, I'll agree with the author. But kind of like those white powdered donuts but a light grey-green. Little green men. I was disappointed that they didn't have antennas because they sure did look like big bugs to me. I woke up about 25 years ago with four little wounds; one on each knee and one on my ankles. Looked like a scrap or burn and they were circled in purple ink. I lived in a place you'd think was safe as could be from little green men. While I was reading the book another salamander walked up and it seems funny to me. But it was depressing because there are no answers when it comes to that. So, I am back to working on some little art projects. Someone left a lot of some family's old pictures at the dump. Sad. I've taken them and made something out of them. There was a picture of a poodle on a float in a pool in CA in 1964, so I framed it and put it with a shelf. On the shelf I put a ceramic poodle to match and a plastic cactus to match the cactus in the picture. Then to the right on the shelf there is a little round white table that looks like outdoor furniture with a miniature tea pot and a cup. I've made a couple of scrapbook pages of a girl who lived in West Virginia in the 1950's. She looks sweet like the all-American girl. I've added a few things like a cut-out picture of gloves from the era and a typewritter to go with the picture of her at work at the bank. They'd look good in a restaurant that hangs antiques on the wall. I found some books that weren't in good enough condition to sell but I used the pictures to frame. They looked really cute because they were from a children's book in 1952 and I chose pictures that show just how long ago it was...like one where the milkman is delivering milk in glass bottles. I've been taking a lot of things out of this place that I have accumulated. I can barely use my cell phone but I have taken some pictures of my flowers, most of them grown from seeds. I like the Sweet Williams because the blooms last a long time. The daisies will be gone in no time but they'll be back next year. Having a hobby is more than just a hobby to me, it is so helpful in keeping me in remission. When you get to be 53 and you have schizophrenia and you aren't homeless or in jail (not that I haven't been in the past) you know something about how to manage your illness. I just wish I could organize my address book and keep better track of my bills. I'm trying to pay them on much less than $600 a month because I got off HUD. It's like the government resents any attempts at a normal life.

Portulaca on May 01, 2014:

I don't know how long its been since I've written. This is Portulaca. My best friend from high school died suddenly. I cried and cried like normal person. It felt bad but felt good to react like other people do. It reminded me that I am a human being too. She was a beautiful person. She was genuinely a Christian. She always had a smile and kind words of encouragement. Her own mother had mental problems. So she grew up with her adult sister and her family. I remember her mother as a nice woman who had bad nerves. That is what we call mental illness in the South I suppose, or did. We were supposed to get together this summer. She was coming to the beach and I was going up there and I thought we'd do something fun like pan for gold and rubies. Her birthday was the next week. Her old boyfriend took it hard and I called him on his birthday. They had just reconnected too. He was worried that her death may have had something to do with an engagement she broke off with a guy here in NC. She had heart surgery over a year ago. Her family had no funeral, cremated her, and posted nothing so far in the newspapers. So I had false hopes that she may have faked her death or something. But the police in her city confirmed her death and said they were very familiar with the case, yeah, by then I'm henny-pennying to everybody! So I still don't understand. I thought everybody got at least 2 lines in the newspaper. So I went out to the beach to the little mailbox at the end of Holden Beach that you can see from Oak Island and wrote on the notebook they keep there. She got her obituary in another way. Another fine Christian man died the same day. He worked with the food bank here. He had been my father's friend and my father died of cancer a couple of years before. Funny, my daughter and I were sitting on some drift wood at the end of the beach where if you stand and look it seems like you are in a huge round bowl. We had a couple of drinks from Bojangles and there were 2 seagulls that kept following us on the beach. If you've lived at the beach you know they go and hang out at restaurants. They kept chirping like they recognized the Bojangles logo. I said to my daughter "Can they read?!" I told the birds they are never around when I have breadcrumbs. Sure as the world if I take breadcrumbs to the beach they would all be at the dump or Bojangles. Once Daddy was up the road in Whiteville and some guy recognized him and asked him how the fishing was at the beach. He said "Well, seeing as you have seagulls 30 miles away at Capt. D's parking lot ,not too good!" I just thought that those two birds could have the spirit in them of friends who passed away. Everywhere on the beach we went, so did they. They were a particular type with a black head and white body. I finally asked the birds if they had any skills because they were supposed to know how to catch fish. I don't care if people see me talking to birds because I need people to leave me alone. I always feel like the buzzards are talking to me. They are tough old birds. They'll say "What are YOU looking at?! Can't you see I am performing a service to the community here?!" (By getting rid of dead animals).

Sometimes they just give you the same attitude that other drivers do. The last buzzard said "Hey you, you Snob!" The security guard at the college was watching me I know, so I kept talking to him. "Hi!" Then I asked him if he had seen a huge salamander. I told him I had taken a picture of the salamander. He really thought I was sooo crazy and then the lizard came running right over his feet and across the sidewalk! I went to a plant sale there and they were driving me batty because they kept asking if they could help me and it made me think they thought I was going to steal something. I explained to them that I know a little about plants and I wanted to see them all. Don't you read all the signs that tell what they are or do you go in looking for a pink geranium and pay for it and leave? So I went to another one and its the same way. They hover over you. This one club calls a maternity plant an alligator plant. Whatever works for them. But the babies or tiny round leaves fall off the maternity plant onto the soil to make new plants. Alligators lay eggs. But it does kind of look like an alligator. I would LOVE to take horticulture but that would put me in a classroom setting. 24 years ago I got in a fight with twins who's family was one of the founders of the college. One lost her shoe kicking me in the head after I jumped her sister. I threw it back "Here you are you ugly step-sister!" Just reminded me of Cinderella.

Survivor on April 30, 2014:

Hi, I have gone through depression, nervous breakdown, schizophrenia, C-PTSD and now only PTSD (after around 16 years since everything started at age 12).

I must say that it is possible to get out of the illness but with lots of self knowledge, self acceptance and will.

First time I heard the voices I heard them for around 9 months. I was able to get medication and after I understood they were not real, just a product of imagintion they slowly disappeared. They came back at 17 but the moment I heard them I ignored them totally. I simply didn't want to feed them.

I think that is the problem - when you feed them!

They use your own subconscious desires and needs and that's why you get stuck in them. I was lucky to be an atheist since childhood so they only took the form of friends. When I found out they were fake I ignored them forever, and they disappeared.

The problem is when you believe in god or spirits, there they will make you feel special and you wont leave the illness!

After I recovered from 3 years of several mental illnesses I still had to deal with PTSD. I spent 14 years after that not feeling like a person, but as soon as I recovered from trauma I got back!

And now I'm getting over PTSD!!

It's possible! With lots of work and will power - I did all sorts of things to recover - all sorts of things, REALLY!

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on April 29, 2014:

@bringthenoise - thanks so much for your story, I appreciate your sharing this piece with me and the rest of my readers.

bringthenoise on April 29, 2014:

I have several family members who have schizophrenia. Each case is/was different. Some seem to manifest more as bipolar disorder symptoms. One has limitations with learning in addition to schizophrenia, while 3 others excelled in learning. Three of them are deceased.

My paranoid brother is obsessed with constant eating and drinking, weighs 500 lbs. and flip flops between saying things that are sexually inappropriate to preaching about Jesus. He smells bad. He also believes that helicopters control your bowel movements.

My aunt and my dad seem to lack awareness of their appearance. Dad wears the same shirt for 2 weeks with food from multiple meals all over it. He also wreaks of urine.

My sister put the D in dysfunction and self destructive behavior. She abuses alcohol off and on, likes to pick fights for recreation, and is a psychic and emotional vampire.

My uncle while very sweet, had some bizarre moments of inappropriate laughter that made people quite uncomfortable, to which he seemed oblivious. He was also known to have periods in his younger days where he was found walking down a road side, confused, and didn't even know his own name.

My grandmother was also very sweet but did things like have all of the furniture removed from the house for no reason, or let her children wander out of the house and down the street naked when they were toddlers. She would be perfectly dressed with makeup and hair in place, but seem oblivious and unaware of what was happening during an episode. This was back when electric shock therapy was commonly used, I guess they thought of it as a "hard reset" button for your brain or something.

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on March 19, 2014:

@Debbie Ference - Well put, I'm sure most people, including myself have not thought about the verbiage people use in referring to people with mental illness. Thanks for the reminder! :)

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on March 19, 2014:

@Marc - Thank you Marc for bringing your stories to the table and bringing some hope to the story for Josue! :)

Debbie Ference on March 17, 2014:

When talking about people with mental illness, the guiding principle is to refer to the person first, not the illness. A behavioral health diagnosis should not be the the primary, defining characteristic of an individual but one aspect of the whole person. When I hear someone called a "schizophrenic" I just cringe. They are not "schizophrenic" they are a person who has schizophrenia. This is recovery language! You don't call someone "cancer" you say she/he has cancer.

Marc on March 14, 2014:

Josue, I hope you read this and find assurance in my words that you will get help if you stay consistent in the offerings the county does give to us with mental issues. Sadly, it just takes time in the process, and availability. Search the resource in the phone book and call them, tell them what you are feeling and thinking in the capacity of your condition, and don't give up on getting better. Trust me when I tell you, your citizenship isn't keeping you from wanting them to give you the help you deserve. You are as important as any American, and you are loved, and deserve to get help and think clearly.

It took me, a paranoid schizophrenic, about 10 trips to the hospital for evaluations before I finally trusted a doctor enough to completely tell him the truth about how I walk the streets all night long, battling the forces of evil communicating with aliens I saw in the sky. I went from thinking I was Jesus, to God, to the Sun, to Batman. I ended up homeless, and turned my want of suicide for myself, to completely focusing on being the protector of the world, travelling through time, and all it got me was a family who didn't want to be around me, and a world in which I felt hated me, and at times still do, and I just keep moving forward, slowly getting more in control of what is real. Problem is, being so paranoid, it is still hard to always take my pills or eat. I think they are poisoned, or have been switched by someone, but I am getting better, always being lead by a desire and purpose. To one day not cry from the love I want to share, but no one seems to want. To trust, and be able to trust, and for my daughter to let me back in her life. It has been over two years since she has talked to me. But it must be embarrassing to have a dad who battles fake creatures in the night for the world can be safe.

So, don't give up on yourself and know you are beautiful to not give up on getting help. Believe in yourself and fight for a chance to live. Know you aren't alone, and know it is ok to cry. :) :) :)

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on March 01, 2014:

Hey Josue,

I would suggest that you speak to a medical professional. It would seem to me that you may want to call the police or go to the nearest hospital to request assistance.

Josue on February 26, 2014:

I'm sorry I only came her for a simple question, I just have trouble sticking to one topic because my disorganized thinking and I wonder off. Bottom line I'm very miserable, I feel suicidal but I wouldn't ever hurt myself I just don't want to exist. I get no help, no insurance it money because I'm an immigrant. I have to wait months to get to talk to a specialist but I need help now. I'm by self help keep and spirituality keeps me calm but very reclusive and isolated I'm just tired I want to seek help but I don't know if I can get proper help because I'm not a citizen. Maybe if u have any information in this issues? I have no Bond with my parents they believe it'll just pass n don't know how to handle it so they just put it aside plus they have severe problems of their own. please if you no anything of seeking help even tho I have no money or insurance

Josue on February 26, 2014:

Hello, I suffer from self diagnosed schizophrenia, seems like I've always had, I've always had very strange peculiar thoughts and behaviors. But now its consuming me and I'm experiencing major depression and extreme reclusiveness/isolation. I live in fear. Thanks for the your awareness, I read stories about schizophrenia..mainly tragic ones...and I become very traumatized I sometimes fear if I would ever hurt someone it just go crazy. I have paranoid and obsessive delusion, I can get mad because I think Imma loose control , once I felt irritated and began thinking if I was gonna become a serial killer because I read that serial killers felt no emotions and at the time I was numb . I'm not violent, I have strong control of my actions and behaviors because I'm very introspective and obsessively aware of my emotions and rational thinking. Spiritual helps me a lot tho sometime I go delusional and I believe I have the potential to become a spiritual leader as Buddha or Jesus. I have many other delusion of me being a genius and have haunting paranoid ideas about the universe how it works, the meaning of life or how nothing is good it bad, it just is.

shethinks'ofhim on February 21, 2014:

Were do i begain?! I have been seeing a guy who's 24 off and on for 4years now. He is a very shy, stand in the back, away from people, type of guy. I noticed the anxiety in his demeanor, the panicked look in his face from time to time right away. Sometimes at nite when we would sleep..all hours of the nite whether it was 1am 3am or even 5am, Id wake up to find him just staring at the wall,clock,etc. I questioned his ways with several of his family members and they would say that was just him. Well just within the last 8months the ugly truth reveled its self. From experts at Three different mental health facilities have diagnosed him with being a sever paranoid schizophrenic.

It started with him doing some weird thing for example.. he came into the house and started cleaning out ALL of the food cabneits in the kitchen. Sayin that the food was bad it was poisoned and that we had to get it all out of the house or THE lITTLE GIRL was going to get us. Then he threw all of my daughters toys out in the front yard sayin alk kinds of stuff under his breath! It scared me so I called his brother to come get him in which he took him to the hospital.

Well around were we stay it gets very hot during the summer and so we were havin blackouts due to power surges. So the local hospital gave him some meds to calm him and sent him home !!! Why I don't know!!! But when he got home he was calm thru the nite, sleeping mostly, but when the early morning came he was up with the light. He started acting out of this world..litterly! He swiped the kitchen cabinets. Refridgearator, dishes everything onto the kitchen floor. Striping his clothes saying the little girl was their she was going to get him. The world was ending... he pulled me in a head lock and drug me to the kitchen sink were he threw water. Large amounts of water in my face sayin he was goin to clense me of all evil and everything was fine . He then made us strip all of our clothes because as ling as we had them on they could get us... well we took him back to the hospital were they then had him committed for 2weeks..

We have came a long way since then but with the rite meds you can barely tell a difference in him now.

He has been hospitalized once since this all begain. That's only because he feels when he takes his meds for a while he's cured so he refuses to take it and then he slips back into his ways. The therapist who sees him once a week says that's typical in most schizophrenics because they are looking for that normal again. He will never be back to his normal self again and threw the rest of his life he will have many slips .but with the love and support from the rite people he can live almost a normal life.

I love this man and I especially now could not see me walking out of his life.

Andrienne on February 20, 2014:

Oh my god . I have never heard nothing like this ( I'm 12 ) and what caused me to search this was cuz I have a girl in my class . She has a reaaaally strange attitude . She would sometimes kiss her hands and cry for no damn reason , and sometimes call me James or jake , it's really weird BUT she's nice and gentle, she does not look normal and she would bang her head on the wall and some classmates make fun of her, and write her disturbing messages , I remember one ; it's said ( satan will kill u or watever anyways I hope u tell me more of this cuz I think she's way young to suffer this much :(

Andrienne on February 20, 2014:

Oh my god . I have never heard nothing like this ( I'm 12 ) and what caused me to search this was cuz I have a girl in my class . She has a reaaaally strange attitude . She would sometimes kiss her hands and cry for no damn reason , and sometimes call me James or jake , it's really weird BUT she's nice and gentle, she does not look normal and she would bang her head on the wall and some classmates make fun of her, and write her disturbing messages , I remember one ; it's said ( satan will kill u or watever anyways I hope u tell me more of this cuz I think she's way young to suffer this much :(

April Garner from Austin, Texas on February 18, 2014:

After reading this hub and all the comments, I am at a loss for words. So many people suffer from some sort of mental illness, from depression all the way to serious schizophrenia. Mental illness, whether mild or more severe, has such a stigma in our society that many people are loathe to seek help through therapy or medication, lest they seem weak. Living with this kind of illness, however, takes a lot of strength, as their brains do not function the same was as non-sufferers. Thank you for writing this hub and putting a human face on schizophrenia. I am amazed at the outpouring of personal stories in the comments. You seem to have touched a lot of people.

Cindy W. on February 16, 2014:

Thanks for the information. My mom's half sister was schizophrenic, she was I'll for many years before they found a medication that finally worked for her. She was back to her normal self and it was so wonderful to see her well. I use to call and talk with her everyday and it was so great. She had two daughter's that she hardly even knew. Sadly my uncle and her and her children were out driving one day when my uncle saw her slump over, she had stopped breathing. There was a fire station near by so he took her there trying to get help for her.

She was rushed to the hospital. Unfortunately they found she had no brain activity. She was on life support, and by the fourth day they found a piece of chewing gum when they moved her breathing tube to the other side of her mouth. We believe she had some how choked on the gum. To this day we still believe that someone in the hospital had unplugged her breathing machine to allow her to go home to God. My uncle wanted to bring her home and keep her on life support at home. Of course Dr's and nurses advised against it. She passed away after my mom flew into town, my mom was able to see her as were her other sisters. That night long after my mom came back to my house we received word that she had passed away during the night. It's been 34 years since passed away, she's still missed by all of us. When she was at her worst she was sometimes violent. One of her daughters now has the same thing it's so sad!!

On a side note: For 16 years I worked as a correctional officer at a federal prison. What's sad now days are that many mentally I'll people are ending going to prison. Our system has made it difficult at best to get mentally ill people the help that they need, so what's happening to them is horrible. Most become homeless and end up either going to prison, death by cop or they commit suicide. We have a neighbor who is bipolar, she's hearing voices. Often she is on a rampage, where she is screaming and yelling, threatening to burn down her ex husbands house. He moved her in with him. Not long ago she drove her huge van all the way up on to the side walk, so it was length wise on the side walk. Thank God no one was walking in that area or they would gave been killed. She then went out and was laying down in the middle of our really busy street. People were having to drive around her and were beeping their hornsat her. She laid down in the middle of our street like 3-4 different times. Seven of us called 911 the police showed up and they took her away. Yeah she was back home the next day by noon. Even though she had done all of that and even managed to kick a cop in the stomach. Her ex husband moved her in with him, but he is now living on a boat that he has so she is alone most of the time. I think she is going to seriously hurt someone or kill someone one of these days. I think she is either going to end up in prison or it will be death by cop. She once asked a cop if she could borrow his gun so she could shoot her self. The problem is that if these people don't think they have a problem they aren't going to take their meds. And when they act out and are taken in and asked are you thinking of hurting your self or anyone else they say no and are released. Just because they have a mental illness it doesn't mean they are stupid. When I worked at the prison I have often worked around people who would smear their face with fecal matter. Or eat toilet paper after they had soaked up their own urine with it. It's horrible to see mentally ill people getting put into prison where they aren't getting the proper treatment that they need. The ex husband before he moved placed another person in the other half of his duplex. The woman's son has mental illness. It's gotten to he way more than I can deal with so I'm thinking of selling my duplex. I have a medical condition and I'm supposed to avoid stress. I had to medically retire due to my medical condition. Both my daughter and I have become very stressed out. Even my daughter's dog is stressed out from the ex wife. We believe the woman was pulling fruits off the cactus next to our fence and had been throwing at my daughter's dog. We know the dog didn't pull any off since we had taken any off that the dog would have been able to reach. And none of theses were ripe, so you had to twist them to get them off. We found them in the middle of my daughter's yard. Her dog now growls when ever she hears the woman voice or if she hears her car pull up if she us sleeping she wakes up and growls. I think the poor dog has PTSD. Were beside our selves as to what we can do so moving may be our only choice. I feel sad to think I will have to move out if my home that I've lived in for 30 years. The ex husband is no help to her and he enables his ex. He doesn't try to encourage her yo he on her medication.

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on February 10, 2014:

@charlonda - thanks for your comments and thoughts. I appreciate you sharing your story.

charlonda on February 10, 2014:

Last year my sister killed her 2 year old son and then slit her throat she was diagnosed and never told us I saw that she was acting weird and she pushed me away thinking I was against her. I hate the fact that I didn't know she was ill and had no education on the desease but today i understand the illness. I lost everything due to this horrible sckizaphrenia and I just want to give my blessings to everyone and to let you all know that GOD IS REAL AND HE LOVES YOU ALL its satin who is attacking you and he hates u he will do absolutely anything to hear u call GOD a lier just think about it I believe people who get this type of illness was an extreme threat to satin and would probably have been more obedient than others I'm not the smartest person in the world but I'm definitely not the dumbest y would he attack the mind to create evil thoughts and attacks on innocent children its because he is the devil and its what he does BUT GOD hold on GOD will not forsake us and remember there's a lot of things in the bible that sounds unbelievable but the word of GOD IS TRUE

Gareth on February 05, 2014:

While the intention of this article is good, why are the facts never brought to the table? Why does not anyone ever show links to the the toxcitity of the anti-psychotics? Why not show people that once you entertain a psychiatrist, they'll entertain for the rest of your life(not in a good way either?)

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on January 29, 2014:

Thanks @grand old lady, I'm glad you liked the article!

Mona Sabalones Gonzalez from Philippines on January 29, 2014:

Thank you for your article. It was very informative, truthful and helpful. I know someone with schizophrenia, who is one of the gentlest people ever. This article was voted up and all else.

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on January 28, 2014:

Thanks Faith! I appreciate your reading and your kind words! :)

Faith Sellers on January 28, 2014:

This was a great article! I enjoyed reading it!

Nadia on November 29, 2013:

After 5 months of a loving, happy relationship with my boyfriend, I found out he was a schizophrenic when he had a relapse. I saw it coming when we started to have fights, he started getting paranoid thinking I was cheating on him and then went on with ignoring all my calls and my messages. He had to be hospitalized (he is still there after 3 weeks). I cannot go see him anymore because his mother is overprotective of him and has threatened to have me arrested for "harassing her sick child". My bf is 26yrs old. I have been reading a lot about the illness and hope that one day we will be together. He had a relapse because I think he stopped taking his meds when he met me. I guess he just didn't want to be sick anymore. I am slightly afraid of the future, but despite people telling me to give him up, I still love him and finding out that he is a schizophrenic does not push me away. I love him loads and I want to be with him, give him the support he needs and take care of him when he needs it. His illness doesn't change how I feel about him, I hope he will come back to me when he is better.

Kathleen baker51 on November 21, 2013:

Dear Anthony, my son has just been arrested for stabbing a man because he thpught the guy was the devil and was going to kill him I need a We dont have the money for an attorney what do we do? Please help Kathy

Portulaca on October 31, 2013:

Daily Doll, I wonder if I do that. There have been times that I look back and think that maybe I've talked to people who weren't there. It is really hard to tell because they looked real. Whenever I am in a hospital there's the same nurse who comes in and bothers me. Now that I think about it she never changes. Kind of like John Nash's imaginary friends who never aged. You might want to see the movie "A Beautiful Mind." I told the male nurse one time that what I fear most is having her bother me when I am old and on my deathbed. I told him I am going to reach out and smack her. She has brown short hair with bangs and those old army regulation glasses. Maybe I'll start shaking people's hands when in doubt. I've talked to doctors and then have the real one come in afterwards. I think. I've had a whole cast of characters in my head and some of them can sing better than I can. Its been years since that has happened. It has actually surprised me. I left messages on my friend's answering machine in different voices. I've tried to reassure myself that I am just trying to be entertaining. (When Lily Tomlin does it, its called that; entertaining). If your sister likes to write or draw or paint or knit or sew that should be encouraged.

Portulaca on October 30, 2013:

I just wanted to say thank you for this site. Plus, I want to tell you that if you have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, don't give up. You are not alone. I will be honest with you. If you don't come from a rich family, you are probably not going to find a good shrink. My medical doctor did the best thing for me. He put me on medication. One time I got sent to one of those "behavioral services" well 2 times and they are quacks so beware of them. I swear the doctor used to work at the gas station. He got his degree in another country that apparently doesn't have libraries. I think somebody is going to hurt him one day for being stupid. I really do. Your medical doctor is the one you need to trust. If the medicine doesn't make you feel better after a couple of weeks, ask him or her for another type. If you don't like being around people make it clear to your relatives that you are not like them, that your illness has to be managed. Crowds bother me but my mother is like a social butterfly and it took quite a while for her to understand that I knew what was best for me as far as not being a people person. God knows I love people but from a distance! If you hear negative things in your head, stand up to them just like you would any bully. You need to surround yourself with things you like, especially your hobbies. It is very important that you take good care of yourself first. You will be tempted to try to do to much to help other people. You can tell if your friends take up too much of your time or are using you like borrowing your things, etc. It is okay to drop them. Just don't hit anybody. Remove yourself from situations where you will be tempted to hit someone. Don't worry so much about the world's problems. If someone asks you to babysit tell them "No, I am insane!" I wish I had done that. I had to babysit one time to make money because my husband stole my disability money. We did fine but I don't want to do it again. And don't try to get ahead. My mother wanted me to live next door because I was on HUD and had possums in my kitchen drawers. So SSI cut me back $200 a month so I get about $545 and $45 foodstamps. One of my children is in college. I'm over 52 and I don't think I can work in stores again because people are there and I hurt someone once with a shopping cart but not on-duty. The nearest resort is maybe 25 miles or so away and they cheat the maids on their pay when they switch from per villa to per hour back and forth whatever is less on your paycheck. I could have gone totally beserk there. It isn't that I don't want to work. I want to get paid for my work but this is the South. It really made me dislike the place plus there are alligators in the ponds there. Drunk golfers and no more free ice tea from the management. Then at tax time they tell you that you are an independent contractor after they already took out for your taxes. BS like that. I hate being around drunks. I mean I despise it. If I was totally sane and had 20/20 vision I would join the highway patrol just to lock up drunk drivers. Don't be a drunk driver. It is okay to have a couple of beers in your own home but don't make it a habit cause its a bad one. Drunk people think they can sing and their jokes are funny and they are so brave and its okay for them to say smart ass things to people. They claim they work hard and play hard. What they do is sit in a truck and drive up and down the street until they get to some fast food place where they can get coffee and a sausage and egg biscuit. Then they piddle til lunch time. Being schizophrenic is a hard enough job within itself. I had to switch my summer and winter clothes around and I don't know why I have several t-shirts the same color but its like I am going to die if I can't keep them all because I paint a lot. I just want to squeeze into my closet and cry because it is hard to finish anything. I got lost in a villa I was cleaning and I lost time and then they add stuff like you have to vaccuum outside and count silverware on a check-out check-in and some guy calls to complain there are leaves on his carpet AFTER the maid vaccuumed it. Bastard.

Portulaca on October 30, 2013:

One thing I've noticed is that I have a Beautiful Mind. Kind of like John Nash but not at math, at art and creativity. I think a lot of people have stolen my ideas. I hear songs and I feel like I wrote the lyrics, so much that I want to sue. But I don't because I can't prove it. I saw a particular line of toys in the toy dept. and I thought the creator of the line must have stolen my idea. I let another student turn in my project in advertising class many years ago. Then I took the exam but missed the last day of class because I was having problems with a friend because she was a drug addict and a tramp. Also the teacher didn't like my political views. So I think that is why I got an incomplete. Bothers me to this day. I was one of the best in the class. The worst thing is this: I was told once on the phone very rudely: My friend is a schizophrenic and schizophrenics never finish anything. I do have problems finishing things. I wish someone would buy my decorated canning jars at the Bible Baptist Church's Thrift Store at Holden Beach just before you get to the intersection. Holden Beach is in NC. They are only like a dollar and the jar is worth more than that without the decorations which are pretty. Well, I did finish decorating most of them. And I did make some dolls out of dishwashing liquid bottles. I painted some pots years ago and they were beautiful but I had them outside. One night it got cold and started raining. I opened the door and they said "pop!" Then "pop...pop." So don't leave clay pots out in the winter. I have pictures of them. Fooled them huh? Lately, I have been worried about LE because they are normal people and I am afraid that without me they can't solve their cases. I think they need creative people to think of things they may not have thought of. I get especially depressed when it comes to missing people especially children. I guess because of all the years my children were kept from me. I was a good mother but I thought JFK's conspirators were after me. What made it worse is that I didn't know my grandfather but his last name was the same as a man who was a mercenary. And they looked similar but the age turned out to be different. Maybe that is how it started. There is usually a colonel of truth to what schizophrenics have going on in our heads. Sometimes its years later before we figure it out. I'm on medication and the medicine is giving me dreams of the things I've forgotten when I was a teen-ager and intoxicated. I remember going with my boyfriend to pick up his check at work! That's nice. I wanted to marry him but I was rejected. I read that he died in 2003. He was my boyfriend in the late 70's. Actually being ill makes it easier to move on. But from time to time the memories come back. When I read on the internet that he had died, it finally got to me that we were never going to have children together with red hair. No way, no how. If I am up in the Piedmont in that area where the country is really green and the wind is blowing into the car, for seconds I will feel young again. Thankfully, this fall I am not there to remember the little yellow wildflowers on the road as we would drive by this time of year...when its his birthday. He had no idea how much he was loved. But he let me go and he became a smaller part of my life.

dailydoll on October 29, 2013:

Thank you for such useful information about schizophrenia. Today I visited my sister in the hospital who recently was diagnosed with schizophrenia, she's 31. I knew something was odd about her behavior for months now, but today was the first time I saw her speaking to non existing people and me like we were all in a conversation. I broke down when I left. I'm trying to learn and understand her condition so I can be the best sister I can for her.

Grace on October 08, 2013:

Thank you for your warning about the content of television and media portrayal of schizophrenics. They make us out to look like insane violent criminals and that is so far from the truth it hurts. I am a gentle schizophrenic. I am like any other person. I of course have imagined what it would be like to get a gun and shoot my rapist, but I would never act upon it. I was just hurt and angry and had fantasies of justice. As you mentioned.....we are more afraid of other people than they should be of us. We like to keep to ourselves and stay close to family members we remember best from before our breakdowns. Post breakdown relationships are very hard to establish and are not very desired. We prefer familiarity to adventures in meeting new people.

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on September 05, 2013:

Hi, James -

In my experience, most people who suffer from this condition are usually harmless when medicated. It was wrong of him not disclose his condition to you and it's not good form in a roommate to to act as he has been. On the basis of bad roommate material, I see no harm in asking him to leave. However, I hope this isn't for discriminatory reasons due to his condition. I know that people fear what they don't know or understand. Have you or your other roommates spoken to him about these concerns? Perhaps aired out the issues in an attempt to stay friends and work things out? I would suggest doing that.

To answer your question, I don't know that you should be scared of him, unless he has proven to give you some reason to be scared. Has he been violent? Does he threaten bodily harm? Is it doing dangerous things or being destructive? I would not be scared of him just because of a condition that he suffers from and has no control over.

As adults, I suggest that if he's not displaying signs of worrying behavior in connection with his disease and he's not threatening or having harmed anyone or anything, sit down and have a conversation. If he has displayed violent tendencies or outbursts, perhaps seek out the help of a medical professional and if you feel unsafe, seek out your local police if you feel the cause warrants it.

James on September 04, 2013:

I need some advice- one of my roommates told my other roommate he suffers from paranoid schizophrenia. He didn't tell the lease-owner that upon him moving in, and we're all really upset about that. He told the lease-owner before that he suffers from 'anxiety' but doesn't take pills for it. He told my other roommate he told the lease-owner he had paranoid schizophrenia... he didn't, at all, whatsoever. His lies recently have been adding up- minuscule, white lies, which to an average person mean nothing. However, because he's telling so many and they don't add up "oh so and so said this or didn't tell me this" when we have proof that so and so DID or DIDN'T! ("I didn't wanna take any showers because I thought we had to pay for water") (Water was paid for by the owners of the house, and that was explained to him probably 3 times before showering was even an issue.) Also why do they not like showering?? This seems to be a more common thing the more I read up on this. Also, did I mention he's not showering or cleaning the dishes? So bad roommate right there, really, I mean he pays rent and keeps to himself, but he doesn't work as a team player (which in this household is an issue). Did I also mention he's unmedicated? And has multiple, multiple weapons? (Swords, gun THAT IS NOT ALLOWED IN THE APARTMENT.) This is really, really scary. We can't tell a grown adult that he needs to be on medication or see a psychiatrist. We're 18-25 year olds. That's not our place. That's his parents place, who also didn't tell us that he had it. Now, we put a letter on the door explaining that he is evicted in 30 days. This was a group decision. Basically, should we be terrified?

He also put a lock on his door and was extremely insistent upon that. He's also very insistent upon giving us gifts and gets mad when we simply don't accept them. I'm tempted to call the police, but as he hasn't acted yet, what can I really do? I still want to remain friends, but we have all felt so uncomfortable in this place due to him. He doesn't trust us and therefore we can't trust him. We are very sympathetic to his situation, I'm trying to understand it, but we all just feel so unsafe. In the place we sleep, which is what he's experiencing, so honestly we feel bad... But with the lies, him not trusting and being disrespectful, over-all not being a great roommate, and knowing the weapons and un-medicated.... Scared. We're all guys but, still..

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on September 03, 2013:

Hi suzie7, I'm sorry you are having such a rough time with your daughter. It sounds like you may need to get her diagnosed by a doctor so that you can get her some medication. From what I understand, medication can do wonders for these people affected. Hang in there and hope things get better for you!

suzie7 on September 01, 2013:

My daughter says I'm evil a liar and I want people to hurt her. She has not been dignosed. But a lot of symptoms seem to be schizophrenia and bi polar. She also has a very very bad temper.

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on August 30, 2013:

Hi Anthony,

Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment. I don't have an answer for you because if your brother is not hurting himself or others - he should be with family and close with those who love him. I'm sure it can be frustrating, but it can also be very sad for your brother to feel unwanted because of a disease he cannot control.

Anthony on August 30, 2013:

I have an older brother with paranoid schizophrenia and he has been evaluated more than 3 times. The longest they kept him in an institution was 3 weeks because he didn't want to be there anymore. He does not want to take medication and he is back at our house. It is uncomfortable and frustrating. Is there any kind of way to keep him in an institution where he would get help? We are not exactly waiting for him to harm someone or himself. I really hate how that law was created.

Sean on April 30, 2013:

If a primitive monkey is placed in front of a mirror, it sees another monkey, rather than see a reflected image of itself.

If a chimpanzee is placed in front of a mirror, it sees a reflected image of itself, rather than see another chimpanzee.

If the primitive monkey could speak to the chimpanzee, it would refer to the chimpanzee as a delusional lunatic that is speaking of some insane act of seeing oneself in a mirror, when in actual fact there is no mirror, but there clearly is a second chimpanzee.

If the majority were primitive monkeys and the minority were chimpanzees, the one which is more evolved would be regarded as being delusional.

Thus if a minority of humans took the next step in evolution, they may be able to hear and see things that which the majority can not.

This minority which is more evolved would then be regarded as being delusional, since the intellect of today is still so primitive that it thinks that its majority "Belief" equals "Truth".

Thus if a person claimed to be being informed, via voices, that there is proof of the existance of God, and that this proof is found encoded within the Bible, if this proof is then presented to the majority, it is totally ignored by the majority. It is rejected before even having been inspected. Thus the majority still sees no need of the use of intelligence.

To see this encoded proof, go to

http://www.outersecrets.com/real/biblecode2a.htm

Then click on the flashing words "Watch / Listen", and let the webpage take you on a webpage tour of such proof.

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on April 06, 2013:

@Portulaca and Sol - thanks so much for sharing your experiences. I love hearing all the different stories and ways that Schizophrenia has affected people and their family members. You are certainly not alone, and I commend your bravery for standing up and telling your story!

Sol smith on March 28, 2013:

I am diagnosed with schizophrenia have had it for sometime I'm 25 and had it about late 18 or early 19... I was really going thru it for a while, I mean jail, weird nutty stuff like talking bout Jesus and the devil giving to shots about physical apperance and I have a lot of information about far more worst things, as do a lot of people I know ha but nothing tht was physically harmful. Actually I am very thankful for schizophrenia... It changed my life and put it in perspective not taking the power to think clear for one but soooo many other things as well, I use to live so reckless and mean but after that path I went thru with schizo I am a brand new person... Humble, peaceful, considerate and a lot of people would say I'm not logical at times until they give me a chance to explain in full my reasoning then I'm considered but what's really having wear and tear on me is the job situation... Since I've recovered from my chaos I've gotten my GED and completed a welding course all in about two years even worked ups seasonal but other than that no one wants to hire me and I want to work I don't want Ssi anymore but even with education and determination, discipline or no matter how dedicated it is not working for me. So being that schizo has changed me it also ruined me because the 4 to 5 years I wa sick put me at a major setback so now I live in my step fathers basement with no job or car and food stamps and Ssi, sort of a gift and curse thing... Another thing is I find it a little strange that majority schizos mention Jesus and the devil somewhere thru the madness... Jus a thought

Portulaca on January 29, 2013:

Professor Robert Cutler, who wrote the Grassy Knoll Gazette once told me that there was no such thing as mental illness because my my mind was doing what it had to do to survive. And I laughed and thought "Well that means we are both crazy. And I had a gynocologist tell me that being schizophrenic did not mean that I was crazy and I disagreed. They seemed to both think that I would understand one day. Well, I do now. I was walking around Ft. Ord thinking that I had a listening device in my ear. I almost hurt myself trying to remove it with tweezers. That seems so crazy. But then you'd think if someone felt they were in danger of being shot, why would any rational, normal person leave them at night outside the hospital with a civilian officer for quite some time? There was a logical explanation for a lot of what I was experiencing. But no one would help me. Ask yourself why my first husband was the "normal" one and he chased me with a spray can and lighter? Footnote: during a tubaligation my doctor discovered that I had no appendix or scar from an appendectomy. My appendix may have burst during my accident. It is so frustrating. I have memories of a lady calling me about an insurance matter. She said their insurance didn't cover what happened. She explained to me that I had an accident in the water. I could only remember that I had been to Disneyland and she said Disneyland wouldn't have called me. When she said the Glory Hole (at Lake Berryessa) I could only think of Old Glory and isn't that in Montana or Wyoming. She made some smart comment about how I would have burned up there. And then I'd answer the phone and hear a woman's voice: How are you sleeping at night?! I took it to sound very accusitory. What position do you sleep in? So I got specific about sleeping on my side...Is that the only way to deal with me? They can't come to my house and treat me like a human being and talk about the matter? Didn't I need professional help if I had amnesia after an accident? I think they named it the Glory Hole and Putah something to try to keep people embarrassed to talk about any accidents occurring there. I'm so angry. Maybe I wouldn't have lost 2 of my children. My ex was able to take them overseas. I knew his family had millions of dollars. I thought at least they'll be safe from all these people who are calling me and the Army is doing nothing to help us. Plus Joe did have a problem with the General and Joe won. No, I have been schizophrenic or schizotyapl whatever since childhood. These people that destroyed my family and separated children from their mother deserve to be exposed and punished. George Hodel could buy a star but he is in outer darkness. It would be easier to forgive if someone would step forward like a decent human being and tell the truth. Oh, I'm the one they laughed at for being immortal, for surviving. I wasn't a human being to them. So be it!

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on January 29, 2013:

Everyone has been so brave to share their stories with me and the rest of the community! I really enjoy reading about each of you and your personal battles, whether it be yourself or a family member. Unfortunately, I am not a therapist and would not feel comfortable giving advice to you, but your stories have all touched my heart and I am so glad to have had a small piece of your life shared with me!

Portulaca on January 27, 2013:

Hi, this is Portulaca again. Actually my name is Margene Morrison and it used to be Camacho. I'm one of the schizophrenics that doesn't totally live life in the closet. When I got the diagnosis I also got the bad news that I couldn't count on staying in the hospital because the government now recognized the "rights" of the mentally ill. I recognized that as a load of crap. That means that the government doesn't want to spend money when it can get away with not spending it. I'm crazy but I'm not stupid. But if I rail against the government then it makes me look like I am so sick. A huge part of what you'll go through as a schizophrenic person is the stigma and the lack of help.

If you react to anything, any injustice, or even if you disagree with a relative, they can use your illness against you. But I said the hell with it. I'm going to take this diagnosis and use it to help other people like me. Its not some spiritual flaw some problem of my "mind" some personal flaw that is my fault. The mind is not an actual organ. My brain is not functioning as well as some people's livers or hearts or gall bladders, etc. If it were dementia or alzheimers, etc. I'd be a little more socially acceptable. And you have to look out for yourself. People in your family may think they know what's best for you. It wasn't that good for me to help in the kitchen at church and also teach Sunday School and help with Children's Church. I did fine. I am a mother of 5 and a grandmother of 6. But when people come into the kitchen and try to boss me around and make me look like a fool...That was it. And having schizophrenia doesn't mean that you are ALWAYS imagining people are being mean to you. Do you think that maybe some old bat that works in a nice department store might be a little jealous of a 38 DD woman ? A normal person has never said something rude to a stranger: like "You should have thought about how your dress size would change after you had implants." Well, I don't have implants but I've had some hateful comments. You can't say its because I have schizophrenia. You can't say that was my imagination. But you and I have to walk a tightrope through life even on our best days. Our thinking patterns are different. I am lucky. I believe I have been a schizophrenic since childhood. I didn't act up because I would have gotten torn up. But it would come out in subtle ways. At a dance recital at age 4 I would turn away from the audience and do tap while they faced the crowd and did ballet. The other Brownies would tell me there was no Santa Claus and I had already reasoned that the sleigh was really a car in disguise because I could almost see how it would come down our road. I'd get picked on but it didn't take but 12 years before I was a brawler even a teacher might not want to recon with. And I kept good grades. I got kicked out of the gifted class and I knew myself I couldn't do math past a certain point. I was scheduled to attend some art class in Raleigh but I got kicked out of high school in March before graduation. I made the front page of the local newspaper: Honor Student remains expelled. Driving was a problem. Its a long story but I was 29 when I got my driver's license. I'm 52 now. I read that so many of you have had schizophrenic mothers and I hope my children don't feel resentment toward me. I really was as good as I could be. I tried to put my children first. I've had 2 abusive husbands that took my children. They didn't have any legal papers but they probably would have killed me. And its hard to prove your husband is abusive when you have the schziophrenic label. I didn't want my children to see me or my husband get killed. My first husband was in the Army and he worked me like a slave. I tried so hard to please him to keep him from being verbally and physically abusive. There is no sense in trying to make sense of an unreasonable man. With the second husband my daughter and I would move back and forth. We would stay as long as we could because of my son. When it got bad we'd leave and gather strength and go back for my youngest son he wouldn't even let go to McDonald's in the next town with us. One time I tried to get help from Legal Aid after he pulled the phone out of the wall and came after me with a two by four. He turned it all around in his favor when he told the judge I was a diagnosed schizophreinic. Oh, the judge in Gastonia, NC was so afraid of what I MIGHT do. It was perfectly alright he was a major felon. By the way they are going to be making some of those felons records smoothed over here in NC. So he will have even more rights than me. We didn't even get to the custody part, we were still in the domestic violence court. Legal Aid treated me like they saw a waterbug. My son is 16 now and I can either send him some money or go see him and since his father is living with his mother, I send my son money. My car isn't running well enough to drive 300 miles and back. Once when we were together we had Christmas with his uncle and his uncle's wife. That's an aunt. Not blood related to him I am reminded later. She was later living with my husband and overseeing the visit I had with my son. How demeaning! I mean they were living as boyfriend and girlfriend. So for the short time they were together, my son was almost the step-brother of his cousin. Before her it was the ex-wife of the same uncle. Next it would be the step-niece. I couldn't fight with her because I was already in trouble because I got in a fight with some stripper at Wal-mart whose boyfriends were high on drugs. I got the chit end of that deal too. Even a deer hit the police car I was riding in. I wonder how many of you have had brain injuries and sat in jail waiting to die of them! Once I was in DSS 6 against 1 and hit my head on the floor and the cop tried to call me a drug addict and I knocked the hell out of him. They sent me to jail Dec. 1995 with a massive brain injury and no medical care whatsoever. And then when you try to get medical help later on there's the stigma of having been in jail. I think we need medical tags like the people who are diabetic. Right now the government wants to sign some gun bills and still say the hell with the Mentally Ill and if we protest it is always protesting too much because we have the label. So naturally people get worse when they are treated badly and not afforded any resources.

Portulaca on January 26, 2013:

I want to tell you my story. It seems real. I'm 52 now and for many years I've had nightmares about canals and caves with water. I try to think of logical explanations. I almost drowned off Wrightsville Beach at age 18. Someone may have dived right on me at the pool at Ft. Ord but I don't know. I've enjoyed Sliding Rock in the NC mountains. I may try Turtleback Rock. I have nice dreams of being in the water with a huge rock. I grew up near Mountain Island Lake in NC. Anyway a few years ago in Salisbury, NC my young cousin fell into an auger and was blinded. We were afraid he wasn't going to live. I began to feel a sensation like an intense flashback. I felt churned around and around and around like a fish in a blender. That was over 5 years ago. I kept having the canal nightmares. Then recently I have had the second part of my flashbacks. After I'm churned around and around in the water, I hit my head so hard I think that's it, my head will burst open and I am going to be dead. Well, it quit hurting and then I was shot through the water like a rocket. Then I'm beginning to come up for air with that awful feeling of water up in my nose and nasal passage, and then I'm back in the water but there's less water and its scraping me along. I stand up. A man and his son ask me where I came from because they didn't see me come in the big tunnel. I said "NC!" That's all I knew. The man said "We came from Tennessee but not like that!" Then I was on a hill and they showed me a mirror because I thought I was 14 and back at the "Bull Hole" which was a swimming pond with a big mound of sand in Davie County NC people went to in the 70s. It was a very backwoods place. I gave them the name "Lee Ann" but it wasn't my name but its the one I thought to give myself. I was clearly in my late 20's and the only thing I could remember was my address. See I had written then and over the years many, many letters and even gone to the FBI. Someone had been threatening me and my children while my first husband was away and we lived at Ft. Ord. I called the police and was put in a mental hospital but it didn't stop the calls. Another Army wife told me she heard the Zodiac killer was back in San Fransico the year after the calls started. I reminded him the school buses don't run on Saturdays. Dr. George Hill Hodel moved from Hond Kong to San Francisco. My husband won out in a dispute with our General and also his family leased their land to a Japanese Company making them rich and they didn't want me because I was from NC. I was different to start with. We have trouble taking crap. One of his uncles was a hood who traveled to Hong Kong from the Northern Mariana Islands and the lawyers were in San Francisco. The man who called me was trying to impress me and I thought of the song "Sympathy for the Devil" and that is what you'll think of after you read "Most Evil" by Steve Hodel. Anyway the strangers at Lake Berryessa sure don't want the cops to ask questions about a nearly drowned woman found in the big pipe. "Lake Berry-essa, what a pretty name. This looks like the Bull Hole" "Well, its not, its the Glory Hole!" I said my address: 173 Bataan Rd., Fort Ord, CA 93941 and they said they weren't planning on mailing me home but that was good I remembered my address. I remember standing in my yard in the sun with the scrap marks feeling confused. I remember some men in a van telling my husband they had something to tell him about his wife and it wasn't her fault. He was cruel anyway but what he said wounded me for a long time. "You shouldn't have lived through that. People that kill themselves are supposed to die and go to hell. No human being can live through something like that!" His best Army buddy thought it was funny. He thought maybe a neighbor had done it. He told me "Margene, you are immortal! He cussed and cussed at who could have done that to me. Then he told me to go out in the yard and do like they do in the movies. "Take this package and put it right there in your mouth and squeeze it and it will look like blood. Then throw your arms up and yell "I am immortal!" So I did it and it was fun. Someone asked me what I had just said and I replied "I'm immortal but really I am just a Baptist!"

nice on January 03, 2013:

This explains me to a t but i have two kids and want to get help but i don't want my kids to get taken away i know i would kill myself i I saw it myself in the house around them so I would know what I'm living for but when I'm outside I can't help but have bad thoughts I want to do things to myself and other i heard and see things but im so sacred of losing my kids but i don't wanna get worse than I am now i need help

Tina on January 01, 2013:

Growing up with a schizophrenic mother was absolute torture. I reflect a great deal on my childhood and the disconnect I feel from my mother. Although there is no mother daughter bond I am burdened with the responsibility of taking care of her. It is easier for me to take care of her from a distance as there are less emotions involved and I feel everything for her but the love that a daughter should feel for her mother. I tell her I love her and I go through the motions of being a good daughter. Can someone tell me please how they were able to heal the hurt child inside them who was severely abused and neglected?

Anjilyn on December 21, 2012:

I have a rather unique problem. I live at home with my parents because my dad works and my mother needs care, and I can't find work anyway, my mother is schizophrenic. My living situation is complicated, suficeth to say, my father let my mother go untreated for 12 years, causing cognitive brain damage. Now I have read a number of posts about how parents can get their schizophrenic children to shower, but the parent is in a natural authoritative position, as her her daughter and my father's daughter, I have no authority with either of them, and when I try to tell Mom, I won't make your breakfast until you shower, my Dad get's mad at me, and this is the only place I have to go, he says I have no right to speak to her like that, but he won't make her shower, he doesn't get involved at all. My Dad has his own malfunctions, he's a gambling and drug addict, and he has threatened to throw me out of the house before simply because I accepted some food from some friends of mine who knew about our situation. You see Dad gambles away most of our money. I can't find work, I have been unemployed for 2.5 years now, I am a medical assistant. So like I said, my situation is complicated. How can a daughter who has no authority in the house at all, get her schizophrenic mother to take a shower? And if you have any other suggestions on how to improve things around here in general I am all ears.

Alix achille on November 11, 2012:

Wow I never knew schizophrenia was that bad me I dont suffer from my schizophrenia at all doctors will disagree but I dont fear anything I go through I never hear voices telling me to do anything bad I go through what the doctors call paranoia is fear based off of suspission and if im not afraid of it then its not paranoia even if thats how it sounds to people and the people were telling me I might be right.

Bonsat on September 28, 2012:

"schizophrenia" is an illness, to me its just society that breaks you and the surrounding people

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on September 15, 2012:

@ninja and @d - thank you both for sharing your stories. I absolutely love seeing and reading new ones. I appreciate the bravery you have by sharing your stories with us.

@lamb servant - I appreciate that logic, I definitely never thought about it that way, good point! I believe that your words are very true.

ninja on September 13, 2012:

like i said in a post before ive got "schizophrenia", but im on medication, which im forced to take its risperidone injection once every 2 weeks 50 mg. But i dont know what its doing really, i mean these doctors and people around me say its making me better and it stops the brain from getting worst over time. I'm not sure about this really its confusing in a way i just got a feeling im being lied to about it, but then they say oh ya u lack insight? I mean ive been on it for like a year now and i haven't "relapsed" so i guess its doing something, But i think they make these relapses out to be too much like my brain has stopped working, i mean in a big episode i had in america i managed to hack a internet account from memory and play a game of chess with some random people in a park and play well lol...In my opinion schizophrenia is just like some weird experience some people are just prone to and have to get over it , i mean is this little medication really fixing something in my brain like a guy who pops a pill for high blood pressure takes, people make it sound like its black and white but its not u only understand this if your schizophrenic, most people will just be thinking just take ur pill and ur fine , but its not exactly like that, I mean if i didn't smoke potent weed everyday for 5 years when i was a teenager i probably wouldn't have this so called "chemical imbalance" and i wouldn't be thinking any of this stuff now, so just incase any young people out there smoking weed reading this, my advice to you is quit especially if u had like a strange experience the first few times u smoked weed, i mean i enjoyed it even though it was a strange experience then i got used to it and smoked every day but in the end its frying ur brain and eventually u might have a real weird experience and get psychosis i only got that once i quit the weed though like a day after, cannabis psychosis happens once u quit the cannabis normally so be careful.

D. on September 05, 2012:

My 18 year old girlfriend is schizophrenic. It's 4am and I'm currently on the phone with her trying to help her not listen to James, the most dominant of the voices in her head. Because of him she walked over 40 miles in one night. She's stabbed her friend(not fatal), and injured one of our friends that helps take care of her when she's upset, because I can't be with her all the time. Though all of this has happened, and James has expressed his hatred for me, I've heard her arguing with him. I've heard her refuse to hurt me. She was on medicine and had to be taken off because of heart problems. She's currently off her medicine, and she always listens to James again. But now she knows hes not real. And she still can't make herself not listen to him. Except when he tries to make her hurt me. I've never understood that. Is there anyone out there who can give me a little insight on this? Does the fact that we've been together for over a year give me some kind of power over James?

Lori Colbo from Pacific Northwest on August 22, 2012:

One more thing, I think we need to be careful about labeling someone by their disorder. I have bipolar disorder, and I don't like to hear "Lori's a bipolar." I am a woman, not a bipolar." I need to remember this myself. I encourage all of us to say "A person with such and such disorder."

ninja on August 22, 2012:

i got schizophrenia its not actually that bad, well i hear stories about these people who have it bad but i think they are suffering from chronic schizophrenia, Im only 25 and apparantly in an unmedicated schizophrenic the brain detiriates over time, Ive had it since i was 18 apparantly due to drug abuse mainly strong cannabis everyday..Ive never harmed anyone or harmed myself for that matter, In my opinion u shouldn't take it too serious its just like having high blood pressure, So with high blood pressure ur heart is working faster, and the same applies to schizophrenia ur brain is just working in overdrive alot of the time, So u think too much sometimes, u get agitated for no reason, i mean every1 has a propensity to psychosis its just a spectrum, just like obesity some people can eat alot and not put on too much weight and others will become obese quickly, Take alzheimers disease for example i feel bad for people with that cuz they have literally lost their mind and dont even know how to get from a to b, but most people with schizophrenia still have their necessary brain faculties in order maybe theres a chemical reaction going on in the brain which isn't normal but most people with schizophrenia still know what's going on generally and are still in touch with reality just maybe have a skewed or different outlook, Even saying someone with schizophrenia has a disease in my opinion is a pessimistic way of thinking about it especially when this so called disease is not yet fully understood and doesn't show the same pattern for every patient.

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on July 22, 2012:

@unknown - Thanks of stopping by and reading this hub. I am glad that you find the sincerity of my voice here, it is in fact as sincere as anyone can be. I really do feel like awareness of schizophrenia and the people it affects can help bring less stigma to this illness.

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on July 22, 2012:

@Cindy - I apologize that it took so long to get back to you, with a new baby in the house, I don't get to be on Hubpages as often as I would like. I am not a psychiatrist so I couldn't presume to diagnose your mother, but it sounds like your wonders are pretty much on the right track. Try and have compassion and think well of your mother, she couldn't help herself.

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on July 22, 2012:

@valeygurl - I am so glad that you found this hub and have commented. I am sorry I didn't get to it until now. I hope that this day finds you well and I am looking forward to knowing if you have gotten the help you need. Much love to you.

Unknown on June 10, 2012:

Too many majors issues going on right now for any detailed info or stories. I'm talking about housing, losing custody of kids etc. just wanted to say that in my head all society it as understanding as you, but in actuality their mostly evil and will turn there backs on you. The others treat you like your mentally challenged and dying. I had cancer and wasn't treated like I had a "challenged person" with a death sentence. It's like with cancer there is a chance irradication. With schizophrenia society acts like there is no hope and your doomed., in effect I've noticed a huge negative "feeling" from people that I didn't get with my astrocytoma brain tumor. Cancer is tangible, so it's easy to understand, treatment will remove the renegade cells. Schizophrenia is not a "part" to be cleaned or replaced. It's on a whole other level that society can't grasp. If you can't see it, touch it, etc. it MuST be made up. The very small remaining population maybe one, two if your lucky will treat you with respect and lend a hand. Like a place to stay, something to eat, prepaid phone or just a cup of coffee at a nice coffee shop like you used to before the voices took over. Those people understand careing. At least until ssdi is approved. We're not slow or dying we're creative in fine and industrial arts, we just see "both plains of existance". I suck at math, but can play multiple instruments, a good photographer, and can fix the blown headgasket on your car.

Thanks so much again for helping spread the word of our positive traits and good qualities. As a posed to reenforceing ignorant old fashioned stereotypes. I feel your sincerity in your writing.

Sorry this is so jumbled, when I get this stressed the haldol seems to not be as effective.

Cindy on June 10, 2012:

My sister and I had a miserable up bringing. Our mother would always be hearing some one talking in the roof of the house even when we moved the voices were still there however we never heard anyone talking only mum could hear it. She would also say someone came through the night and cut her bra from her and her husband was trying to poison her. She would say things like her food tated funny. or there was some one watching our house.

Our mother was never diagnosed with anything that we know of . Do you think by the above that she had schisaphrenia.Mysister and I have always wondered.

Valeygurl on June 08, 2012:

I am a diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. I have read your article, and must say, I fit in there too....I know for a fact that I am going thru something now.... as I suffer the symptoms of uncontrollable crying...my gurls (I have three... Valeygurl... Vallee.... Valerie) are always talking and trying to make me do something i shouldn't or convince me to go left when i should go right... I suffer from other issues, too. I have had this mental illness since I was in my early teens... I remember the first time at a physch doctor was when i was 9 yrs old... Unfortunately, i believe my illness will help me leave this world soon... I believe that I made it to my 50th birthday, but all my sis and bros, died b4 their 50th birthday. I am having bad episodes lately, but my insurance deductible is so high, that I had to stop going to my psychiatric. I am hoping once i catch up on the deductible, i can then return to my doctor and go back on the medications she prescribed.... when i am off them, it is easy for the gurls to take over me and get all lost in communications. With these issues, I live in my own private HELL everyday... some-days are just more tolerable... but the days when the devil wants to drag me to HELL... then there is a major fight going on in my head! Not going to lie... I know for a fact I still need help... I pray it will come, b4 something tragic happens.... oh, and to those ppl who think, that all they have to do is stop that stinking thinking.... its just not that easy! It really really is not that simple!! Its a constant battle....

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on April 29, 2012:

@sally - I am so glad my hub could help you. I love hearing personal stories and it heartens me to know that I could help you in some way. I really suggest you find a good therapist that you can trust and talk to them. They don't have to institutionalize you, there are so many other things that they can do for you - medication being one of the first things. I hope you will get the help you need so that you can live a productive and wonderful life. It sounds very much like you deserve to. :)

Sally 8 on April 28, 2012:

This helped me a lot thank you. My dad's mother was a paranoid schizophrenic and my my father was never diagnosised with it but was deemed 100% diabled upon retiring from the military. Mostly because of his mental problems which they assumed were because of his time served. Little do they know how he has acted since ive known him. I have been on meds for depression, but i have never been completely honest with anyone especially doctors what i go through every day. It got worse the past year and i have have turned into a recluse and wear headphones everywhere even the grocery store. I was finally honest with my bf who is the first person in my whole life i have ever been completely comfortable with and actually feel like i can trust so i told him and i told my mom some of it. I left out the voices with my mom bc the weird things ive been paranoid about and at such a young age i could tell scared her. I do want to go to a therapist and see if i can get on medications to help it though. My boyfriend recently started living with me and i still get paranoid about stuff but when he goes with me to the store and stuff it really helps i dont even wear headphones. This really helped give me that extra push to go i just dont want to be institutionalized. I also hope it doesn't get progressively worse because i dont want to put my boyfriend through that.

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on April 19, 2012:

@lambservant - Thanks so much for coming back! I enjoy your stories as well, they are always so interesting to read and they remind me of the days when I worked with schizophrenics. Those individuals were the most interesting and genuine people I have ever met.

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on April 19, 2012:

@rerednaw - Thanks so much for reading. I love hearing personal stories from my readers and yours is no exception. Thanks so much for opening up and allowing others a peek into your world.

Rachael Fields (author) from KC, MO on April 19, 2012:

@michael - I am sorry if you took this hub and its comments to be negative. It is certainly not supposed to be and it seems that all the comments have been generally very positive. Thanks for reading though, I hope your friend is doing well.

Lori Colbo from Pacific Northwest on April 08, 2012:

I just stumbled on this hub again and thought I would make a few more comments based on some study and experiences I have had. Statistics say that people with mental illness, schizophrenia included, are often less likely to be violent than the general population.

I am around schizophrenic patients a lot. They are harmless most of the time and I often see them smurking or chuckling at something that is going on inside. I always am tempted to ask them to share.

That being said, every once in a blue moon I see a very hostile patient and it is very scary. Then, I got to know one woman with schizoaffective disorder and when the voices got to be too much, she would scream and bang her head against the wall. I felt so bad for her. So they gave her a portable cd player to carry around with ear things in it. It helped her a great deal and it was pretty simple tool to help her. I thank you again for advocating for these dear people by writin