The sensor-laden ring isn't a condom itself, but sits over the base of your preferred prophylactic. Put it on, "get it on," and learn about metrics like the average velocity of thrusts, frequency of sessions, average skin temperature, and other details you probably don't need to know about. After bedroom activity dies down, you can pair the ring's data with the i.Con app via Bluetooth for further analysis.

British Condoms said the data collected is completely anonymous... if you want it to be. Because modesty is dead, users can use the app to share their stats with their friends or the world in what can only be described as a literal dick-measuring contest.

The i.Con is expected to go on sale at some point this year for £60, or about $73, and is available for pre-order now. British Condoms claims the i.Con isn't noticeable while in use, although we suspect your partner would quickly become aware of an X-rated Fitbit wrapped around your package. Even if it is as sleek as they say, what benefit does knowing your thrust speed really have?