The government must set up a national fund for victims of terrorism and appoint an independent advocate to coordinate their needs instead of relying on public donations, the victims’ commissioner for England and Wales, Helen Newlove, has told a gathering on International Peace Day.

Some attacks, such as the 2017 Manchester Arena atrocity, triggered tremendous public generosity while others attracted much less even though the needs of victims remained the same, Lady Newlove told more than 100 survivors of terrorism at a peace conference.

“A terror attack of any description should be regarded as an attack upon the state and not an attack on an individual. Therefore it must follow that society has a responsibility to support those individuals whose lives have been torn apart. This support cannot be dependent upon public donations,” she said.

“It must therefore fall to the state to assume responsibility on behalf of society to ensure that victims’ needs are met and to ensure that all victims are treated equitably and fairly.”

Immediate needs to be addressed without delay after attacks included childcare, travel costs for hospital visits and loss of earnings. At present there was no single agency responsible for meeting these costs, Newlove said.

She cited the family of one Manchester Arena victim, who lived elsewhere in the UK and could not afford petrol to visit their relative in hospital. It was left to police to beg a retail company to donate the fuel. “Is this an appropriate method of supporting victims of terror?” she said.

Lady Newlove: ‘We need to make sure that when the TV cameras disappear, victims and survivors get the right support they need.’ Photograph: Graeme Robertson/The Guardian

Newlove was addressing survivors and relatives of victims of terrorist attacks in London, Manchester, Paris, Boston and Orlando. They were gathered at the Tim Parry Johnathan Ball Peace Foundation in Warrington, named after two child victims of the 1993 IRA bombing in the city, as plans were announced for an international network of 100 “peace builders”.

Terror victims’ needs were often long term and counselling and support should be paid by the state, Newlove said. “These costs should not be met by public subscription.”

She pointed out that the French government had a guaranteed fund for victims of terrorism, and she called for a UK fund, underwritten by government, that could be accessed by agencies to provide long-term support. It would not provide compensation but would focus on addressing needs, immediate or long-term, and would not preclude public donations, she said.

An independent advocate – like the German government’s commissioner for terror victims – could coordinate support, she said. There also needed to be a swifter, easier process for compensation claims.

“We need to make sure that victims are treated equitably and on the basis of need. We need to ensure that systems of support are transparent and open to challenge. And we need to make sure that when the TV cameras disappear, victims and survivors get the right support they need to rebuild their lives and recover from their injuries. Courage doesn’t mean you don’t get afraid. Courage means you don’t let fear stop you.”

Colin Parry, the father of Tim Parry, 12, who was killed in the Warrington bombing, called on survivors to be vocal and active in promoting peace.

“We know that it is gut-wrenching to lose your child,” said Parry, a co-founder of the Peace Foundation. “We know for most people they will just shut the door and draw the curtains and hope life improves.

“I don’t think that is the best away to go about it. Get involved. Become a peacemaker in whatever way you can. Don’t sit on the sidelines. There’s no time for bystanders any more. We face major problems across the world. We need people to stand up, to be active and vocal.”

As part of building an international network of survivors, the US embassy in London has helped pair American and British cities affected by terrorist atrocities. Lew Lukens, deputy chief of mission at the US embassy in London, told the conference: “Terrorism doesn’t discriminate in its victims. And everyone needs to be involved in the fight to stop it.”

Survivors not only brought “unique knowledge and understanding of the issues” they also brought “an unmatched determination and drive to constantly do more – and to get everyone else to do more too,” he said. “Your creativity and positivity and, above all, your courage, are absolutely inspiring. Because whatever pain or grief or trauma you may have suffered , you have chosen to take up the fight against hatred and terrorism – not with anger but with love.”