It just can’t get any cooler. Can it?

They say Fitzroy couldn’t be any more of a hipsters’ paradise. Well, tag your #squad and warm up those Instagram filters. Supermarket chain Coles have decided it’s time to close their Fitzroy branch and open up a Deconstructed Meal Concept Restaurant in its place - and we are literally losing our minds at the news.

The new restaurant is simply called Marché by Coles. Diners can order from a menu of mouthwatering dishes that have been separated and isolated down to their raw ingredients, packaged individually and even sold separately to one another for discerning diners to modify, prepare and consume as they see fit.

#fancy #foodporn

Coles have partnered up with hospitality PR agency Emperor’s Food Clothes to execute this revolutionary new concept restaurant. EFC’s Culinary Buzz Officer Lynly Gregory, says nothing like this has ever been attempted before.

“Like anything that challenges the status quo of what is considered ‘a restaurant’, this is going to ruffle a few feathers — but Melbourne is the natural pilot city for this project. Melburnians know that fine dining is more than just a means to a end, it’s an experience — connecting with the food and the ingredients. What greater connection can one form with their meal, than paring it back to its raw elemental form and literally cooking it for themselves in their own homes?”

The decor of the new restaurant is raising eyebrows of those too small-minded to understand that food is art, art is life, and life is suffering. Minimalistic, even brutalist, interior design - with no tables or chairs. The industrial open space is lit by fluorescent lights, forcing you to confront the starkness of the segmented dishes.

Take it from us. You truly start to understand the components of the meal as a whole: the branding, the nutritional information. We were blown away.

On entering the restaurant you are greeted by concierge, wearing red vests, who stand near the entrance. In place of the traditional menu, diners are encouraged to choose the dish they want to eat on the Coles website. It’s here online that patrons will find helpful lists of the deconstructed ingredients.

Diners then need to locate these through the restaurant “food gallery” aisles. A Marché concierge will be more than happy to point you in the right direction.

Deconstructed Service Area

As there is no actual kitchen in the restaurant to create a barrier between the dish and diner, the meals are served to you in an stylish canvas bag. You are encouraged to pack and pay for these yourself in the Deconstructed Service Area.

So Fitzroyalty, unite! Bike down to Marché by Coles and have Snapchat ready to capture your gastronomical experience. We’ve given the final word to our friendly Auto-Waiter:

“Unexpected-” she says, “-item in bagging area.”

Unexpected indeed!