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IN A BID to vastly improve to the thinking around solutions to the homelessness crisis, the Department of No Housing has appointed a headless chicken to the position of Chief Solutions Strategist.

“It’s no secret that we haven’t the slightest inkling as to how to solve this issue, so after some honest dialogue amongst ourselves, we knew we had to hire someone with superior skills and experience,” explained one cabinet minister.

The recruitment drive took in a high number of rural chicken farms, with no stone left unturned when it came to finding the perfect headless chicken.

“We’re fairly confident, as the public should be, that we now have an individual in place that knows a lot more than us, and hopefully this headless chicken has the sort of blue sky thinking that evades us,” added the minister.

It is thought the first task the headless chicken will undertake is working out how many homeless people there are on the streets, and how to best help them become not homeless.

“Jesus, see, this is what we’re talking about, we hadn’t even thought of that. This lad is going to be a huge success,” the minister concluded before spending ten minutes pushing a door marked with a ‘pull’ sign.