Ross Brawn has officially announced that he is to be hounded out of the Mercedes F1 team at the end of the year.

‘I am honoured to have decided to be let go,’ the Fozzie Bear-voiced team principal said today. ‘I have been considering my position for some time and I feel now is the right time to be told to hand over control of the team or else.’

However, Brawn admits the decision to be sacked hasn’t been easy. ‘I have a lot of great memories from my time at Mercedes,’ the vaguely-bearded strategy maestro confessed. ‘From being shouted at by Toto Wolff to being ruthlessly undermined by Niki Lauda, these are the happy times I will reflect on as I am escorted from the building by security.’