OPERATION SHADOWEAGLEDARKTHIRTY



1. Attend SJW event like GaymerX or IndieCade.

2. Mingle with developers and journalists.

3. Lock eyes with blue-haired indie developer across the room.

4. Smile and walk over.

5. Tell her, "I really liked your panel discussion on narrative design!" (or whatever).

6. Segue into discussing her hopes and dreams.

7. After a protracted chat, ask her to go out for a drink the following night. Pick a place that's hip but not pretentious, popular but not packed.

8. Again with that hopes and dreams shit.

9. Show physical interest by touching her arm and leaning in during conversations.

10. Demur when she asks you to go home with her.

11. Make plans to meet up during the next SJW event.

12. Take her on a goofy date like a night at the carnival or a pedal-boat ride.

13. Proceed with your long-distance relationship for several months. KEEP SENDING THOSE EMAILS.

14. Find a job in San Francisco.

13. Move in with her "until you can find a place." Keep living there when you find it hurts to be apart from her.

14. After a few months of living in sin, pop the question.

15. Have a small, intimate wedding at a former winery that's been re-purposed as an event hall. Serve cake-pops instead of cake to remind everyone how fun and young and modern you both are.

16. Spend the next year going on weekend trips to keep the magic alive.

17. Find out she's pregnant.

18. Become obsessed with the prospect of fatherhood. Find the right OB/GYN to deliver the child after an exhaustive online search (KEEP SENDING THOSE EMAILS). Buy way too many baby books. Turn your home office into a bedroom.

19. Be floored when her water breaks during a pool party. With your swimsuit still dripping wet, walk her to your Hyundai and drive to the hospital.

20. Hold her hand as she's wheeled into the delivery room.

21. Become a father.

22. Realize that you and your wife, in spite of your extensive planning, forgot to talk about baby names.



"What should we call him?" she asks.



Respond: "Ethics in games journalism."