Greece needs a hand, man. Remember that time it brought you the seeds of democracy? Remember that night you were going to order pizza again but instead you called some friends and ended up having a great time at that new Greek restaurant down the street? And need Greece remind you that those faux ionic columns outside of your dentist's office were invented by it? Well now, the banks are coming a-knocking, and it would be really cool if you could all chip in, like, €3 each. For Greece. Your buddy.

Or at least that's the pitch being made by Thom Feeney, a London shoe shop worker who started a campaign to raise €1.6 billion (that's US $1.78 billion). Feeney's Indiegogo campaign, started just two days ago, has already raised an astonishing €478,575 (or $533,010) from more than 30,000 people.

“All this dithering over Greece is getting boring,” Feeney wrote on his Indiegogo page. “Why don't we the people just sort it instead?” He added that to come up with the €1.6 billion, every member of Europe would only have to give €3 each (well, technically you'd only need to collect from members of the European Union; that's not even counting any potentially generous Swiss or Norwegian people.)

Donor perks start at €3+shipping for a postcard of the Greek Prime Minister, Alex Tsipras, or €6+shipping for a “Greek Feta and Olive salad” delivered fresh to your door (dressing on the side in transit, thanks). At the top you could donate €5,000 for an “all-inclusive” week-long vacation in Athens (one person has pledged this amount). If a donor pledges €1,000,000 or more, you'll get all the perks plus “a lot of gratitude from the citizens of Europe and particularly the Greek people,” Feeney writes. He added that “all profits will go to the Greek people and all products will be 100% Greek.”

At one point during the day, the campaign page overloaded Indiegogo's servers. “The Greek Bailout Fund campaign page is experiencing some issues due to its astonishing popularity,” the site wrote. “It should be back up shortly.”

In an e-mailed statement to Ars, Indiegogo CEO Slava Rubin wrote, "Once the campaign reaches its goal, Indiegogo will collaborate with the campaigner to get in touch with Greek authorities and determine the best way to transfer the funds to the Greek government."

On The Greek Bailout Fund page, Feeney answered a few questions. He denied that it was a joke—"I can understand why people might take it as a joke, but Crowdfunding can really help because it's just a case of getting on and doing it.” He also added that he hadn't really talked to anyone in Greece's leadership about the project. “I've not yet been in touch with any European leaders, but I heard a rumour from a journalist that Mr Tsipras wanted to get in touch,” Feeney said. On the project's Twitter page, Feeney wrote, "Right come on guys, let's just get this shit sorted. Everyone in the EU, Feta and Olives for lunch."

Originally, Feeney offered a small Greek island for any donor who straight up offered €1,600,000,000. But, he realized, it was a less-than-perfect solution to auction off a country's property if you don't own it:

There was a small Greek Island on offer for anyone who came in with €1.6bn, I thought that Mr Tsipras would happily accept that but Indiegogo emailed me to say that as the Greek Government had not officially agreed to this, I wasn't allowed to offer it. A Greek lady emailed to say that she found that perk offensive, which I apologised profusely for, I certainly didn't mean offence. I was only thinking something about the size of Inchmarnock off the coast of Scotland, which I'd definitely sell if it saved the British economy.

You hear that, Inchmarnock? You're one financial crisis away from being auctioned off by exceedingly practical young British citizens.

The campaign has six days left to raise money. If €1.6 billion isn't raised, all the donors will get back their money.

This afternoon, the International Monetary Fund (IMF) declared that Greece was officially in arrears, but it has not yet declared that Greece is in default. Technically, the IMF could offer Greece an extension of its debt repayment obligation. On July 5, the country will hold a national referendum on whether to sign a deal demanding even stricter austerity from the nation.

But, if Europeans all chip in, maybe we can just put this silly bailout business behind us.