Governor Mark Sanford says “God will make him better” after he had an affair with an Argentinian mistress.

Apparently, God was missing when Sanford was secretly emailing the mistress, catching a flight to see her, and getting it on:

It’s in the spirit of making good from bad that I am committing to you and the larger family of South Carolinians to use this experience to both trust God in his larger work of changing me, and from my end, to work to becoming a better and more effective leader… … In this regard I think all that has transpired will be particularly relevant in the way I deal with the legislative body and other state leaders going forward. Micah 6:8 asks us to do justice, love mercy, and to walk humbly, and as I begin these steps into the last 18 months of this administration, it will indeed be with a more contrite and humble spirit.

Maybe Sanford didn’t read enough of his Bible because Micah 6:13, a few verses later, has God saying something very different:

Therefore, I have begun to destroy you, to ruin you because of your sins.

By the way, God has already responded to Sanford’s piece:

“At no point did I say that I was trying to make Mark Sanford a better person,” the Almighty told reporters. “And the only time that bastard has prayed to Me was last month, when his exact words were, ‘Please don’t let Jenny find out where I really am.'”



