15. Bhutan

The Thimphu Chorten temple in Bhutan. Gelay Jamtsho / Flickr

Why so inaccessible?

First of all, you will need to pay for your trip in advance. I am not talking about the plane ticket. I am talking about the all-inclusive package inside Bhutan. It has to be paid to a Bhutanese travel agent via money transfer, which makes it more of a hassle than using your worn Am Ex card.

The all-inclusive trips have given rise to the rumour that Bhutan is a very expensive country to visit. The 200-300 USD per day (depending on the season and whether you travel alone or not) will however cover "everything." As in accommodation, transport within the country, guides, meals and the tourist tax.

You only need to worry about drinks and souvenirs. Just don't mix the first with the latter or you will end up with a lot of wooden souvenir penises. Penises in such a religious country? Well, even strictly religious people need penises to impregnate each other. Besides, the symbols of erect penises are intended to drive away "the evil eye and malicious gossip," and it isn't a Buddhist symbol, but one of Bön, an old and unorthodox religion.

Do note that you won't see any penises painted on buildings in Thimphu or major towns. You'll only see them in rural villages, so you can still travel to [certain parts of] the country together with your mother-in-law. Then again, who wants to travel with mother-in-laws anyway?

Why you should still bother to go

If huge erect penises aren't enough, throw in the fantastic mountains, the incredible Buddhist temples and Tiger's Nest, and you will be in awe. It doesn't hurt that people are very friendly too. Unless you start chatting up local girls. That may cause trouble and threats of brutal beating. Allegedly.

How I got in

I needed to produce a little patience and had to be willing to pay my trip in advance. I did, and I was picked up in the airport by my guides. Not difficult, just a little inconvenient.

Any loopholes?

The guides will leave you to explore Thimphu on your own if you insist. If you do, find the karaoke bar in a cellar bar near the clock tower. It is the only place where I have seen karaoke with the option of having a live band play to your singing. Priceless!