On behalf of all bike-riding pinkos, I’d like to thank Doug Ford for blurting out the nasty truths our own champion is far too cautious to utter. Not that we blame her: Attempting class warfare would be suicidal for any leftist in Toronto today. Olivia Chow has wisely buttoned her lip. But Doug Ford’s righteous rage at the enduring power of the Family Compact and its current figurehead is undeniable. It is populism at its finest.

“John Tory has had a free ride in this campaign,” Ford said in his pugnacious Wednesday press conference. Very true. “John Tory has had a lot of free rides.”

But not anymore: If Tory manages to survive the beating Doug the Thug is about to lay on him, he will have more than paid his way to the mayor’s chair. Ford is the gauntlet that will either kill Tory’s chances or prove his fitness for office. And for we pinkos with increasingly forlorn hopes for Chow, the leading candidate’s painful progress along that thorny path promises to be endlessly entertaining.

Doug Ford did not disappoint during his campaign debut this week. He dominated his first televised debate and followed up with a hard-hitting press conference devoted exclusively to advancing his personal attack on Tory. It’s hard to believe such tactics will do much to build support for Ford’s own cause outside the Nation, but it would be wrong to underestimate their ability to tear down Tory.

In that event, with Tory’s lead eroded and the vote split more or less evenly three ways, Ford automatically becomes a contender. Whether or not he could win would depend both on chance and how we pinkos were feeling at the time. If enough of us remain determined to keep Ford out, Tory will win. But if Chow’s vote holds, Ford has an open path to power.

Although he’s certainly not addressing us directly, not even dog whistle style, Ford can’t help but impress progressive voters when he boldly expresses the anti-Establishment feelings so many of them harbour. It’s almost as if he’s on our side. Chow certainly owes him a debt for his lacerating attack on their mutual opponent.

And would a Doug Ford mayoralty really be all that bad? The office is populist by definition, and Ford fits the mould far better than either Chow or Tory. He’s his own man, not a smooth-talking spokesman for Capital, Inc. And he is the very definition of the devil we know — one that council has quite capably kept trapped in a box for three of the past four years, despite all the noise and despite his unrestricted access to power.

Tory is quite right when he says that none of Doug Ford’s vaunted experience ever helped him accomplish much of anything in politics. But considering what the man wanted to accomplish — down with libraries, up with ferris wheels — that hardly seems a loss.

Doug Ford promises fantasy subway lines that everybody knows will never get built, but that’s OK. Kathleen Wynne will take care of the transit file. The problem with John Tory is that he actually believes in his SmartTrack fantasy — and seems perfectly willing to risk civic bankruptcy to make it real.

The fact is that progressive voters have little to fear from Doug Ford. He is no more conservative than Tory, but a lot more genuine. Unlike his brother, Doug is sober. He’s great copy for journalists. Best of all, he is notoriously easy to outvote in council.

That, in fact, is the fate that likely awaits our next mayor no matter who it is. If voters continue to go three different ways, with only a minority backing the first candidate past the post, he or she will struggle to govern effectively.

I would sooner vote for a dead cat than any Ford, but I can’t help feeling grateful to Doug for stepping up and bringin’ it on. It will be fun while it lasts.

John Barber is a freelance writer. john.c.barber@gmail.com

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