The real tragedy of The Grinch Who Stole Christmas is that he eventually gave it back.

Okay, not really.

But some aspects of Christmas have become pretty toxic, don’t you think? Here one reason why:

Pluralistic ignorance is a circumstance of social psychology in which each member of a group privately rejects a norm, but believes everyone else in the group accepts it. Therefore, each member reluctantly goes along with the norm. The group in question can be as large as an entire country, or as small as a family.

The commercialization of Christmas is a textbook example of pluralistic ignorance, and in this article we’ll look at how pluralistic ignorance develops and the damage it can do to mental health and relationships.

How unpopular is Christmas consumerism, really?

According to Pew research:

87% of people cite time with friends/family, religious reflection, and good feelings as their favorite part of the Christmas holiday

Only 5% cite gift exchange or shopping as their favorite part

65% cite consumerism/materialism, cost, or shopping as their least favorite part of the Christmas season

What’s this mean?

The overwhelming majority of us prefer the non-commercial aspects of the holiday season, with two-thirds of us liking its commercial aspects least of all. Based on this research, one might think retail stores everywhere are panicking about their holiday sales. But they have little to worry about — 86% of people buy Christmas gifts. We’ll get to just how much we spend on these gifts later (it’s a lot).

If most of us don’t like Christmas consumerism, but still participate in it, what accounts for this imbalance between our values and our actions? To understand what is happening, we’ll have to dive a little deeper into social psychology to see how pluralistic ignorance thrives.

The Making of pluralistic ignorance

Pluralistic ignorance arises in a variety of circumstances, but there are usually two common elements:

Communication breakdown

Deferral to a norm

1. Communication breakdown

In the U.S., unfortunately, talking about money is taboo, or restricted by our social customs. We don’t ask friends how much they pay in rent, or compare salaries with our coworkers. About half of us don’t know how money our spouse makes. When it comes to money, we kind of just do what we see others doing, while those around us do the same. When Christmastime comes, that means buying lots of stuff.

The idea of lavishing gifts on our loved ones did come from somewhere, but it wasn’t the three wise men.

2. Deferral to a norm

Christmas’ roots lay in an ancient Roman festival called Saturnalia, held in late December to honor the god of Saturn. Saturnalia was a festival of the people — a carnival-like atmosphere of public drinking, dancing, and celebration much to the chagrin of the upper classes.

By 320 AD, Christianity had spread through Rome and an interest in celebrating the unknown birth date of Jesus had developed. The Roman Catholic Church came up with a plan: supplant the rowdy Saturnalia celebrations with a new, staid Christian holiday by declaring Jesus’ birthday as December 25 — right in the middle of Saturnalia. The Church succeeded in supplanting Saturnalia with Christmas, but not with taming the festivities. Instead, Christmas became associated with these rowdy public celebrations.

This, in essence, is what Christmas remained for a very long time.

Christmas: the illegal holiday

Over a thousand years later, the powers that be were still trying to spoil the party. In 1643 England, Parliament prohibited the celebration of Christmas, calling it “a popish festival with no Biblical justification.” Across the ocean in the upstart U.S., the Massachusetts General Assembly issued in 1659:

Anyone who is found observing, by abstinence from labor, feasting, or any other way, any such days as Christmas day, shall pay for every such with offense five shillings.”

It wasn’t until 19th Century New York when the ruling class finally put an end to Christmas as a public celebration. After the 1828 Christmas riots, the upper class successfully appealed to parents to give their children indoor toys for Christmas to keep their children out of the streets. With this success, Christmas moved inside for good.

So what was different this time?

Toy manufacturing changed the game…

The industrial revolution had ushered in the rise of the toy industry.

A toy once made by hand could now be molded by machine, lowering its production costs and, in turn, its price. A whole new class of people could afford consumer products once out of reach. By 1881, marketers had invented the modern Santa Claus (pictured at the top of this article, toys grasped in hand).

…and television changed it again

In 1941, a watch company aired the first television advertisement. This was a sea-change moment for advertising, and helped to solidify'”indoor Christmas” once and for all.

Below is an illustration of how the celebration of Christmas has changed over time:

As it turns out, our commercial Christmas traditions aren’t all that traditional.

Manufacturing Christmas cheer

As soon as a leaf falls in the Continental U.S., we are overwhelmed with TV commercials, billboards, and store displays all presenting a unified vision of a phenomenon best characterized as ‘Christmas cheer’ — big smiles, comfy sweaters (Ho ho ho, spend your dough!). These ads, brief as they may be, are a steady voice in our lives two months of the year, at least.

The average American watches somewhere between three and five hours of TV per day, with advertisements representing about 14 minutes of every hour. Therefore, we watch about thirty minutes to an hour of advertisements per day on television alone (not including the thousands of ads we see daily on the internet and elsewhere). This is more time than we spend socializing on the average weekday.

On most days, the collective voice of advertisements are more present in our lives than those of our closest friends and family.

Pluralistic ignorance and Christmas consumerism: putting it all together

When looking at our communication breakdown about money, and our deferral to the norms retail companies set for us about Christmas, the picture of a skewed power dynamic emerges, as illustrated in the diagram below:



Here, we can see how an advertiser delivers his or her message about spending in a unidirectional way (we are unable to respond directly to the TV). Once we have received this messaging, we feel uncomfortable discussing it and relevant other topics (budgeting, etc) with our friends and family. This is an example — intentional or not — of a divide and rule strategy in which the advertiser, from a position of power, is able to socially isolated its audience in order to reduce the possibility of its message being challenged (how’s that for cheerful?).

The result is that heavy spending for Christmas is normalized. And when I say heavy, I mean heavy.

What’s the damage?

Americans on average spend more money on Christmas ($1007) than they have available for an emergency ($1000)

The average American spend is expected to spend $1007 on Christmas this year. This is a whopping number, considering that less than 39% of us have $1000 available for an emergency. We’re spending our emergency funds on Christmas presents. If the Grinch hadn’t had his famous change of heart, the Whos of Whoville would have been a lot more prepared to face the uncertainties of life.

This is more than an economic problem — it’s a mental health problem. There is an unfortunate link between financial distress and: mental health, physical health, and interpersonal issues. The ways in which money and well-being intertwine are complex and many. Financial issues frequently lead people into my therapy office. Overall, 72% of the US population is stressed about money.

It’s not hard to see why economist Joel Waldfogel colorfully describes Christmas consumerism as an “orgy of wealth destruction.” It may also be an orgy of health destruction.

Take back the power

If you think outside influences have made too many inroads to your family’s Christmas traditions, you’re probably not alone. It’s worth checking in with others to see if they feel the same way. There’s a good chance they do.

Create your own tradition

There are many ways we can celebrate Christmas. Eighty-seven percent of us agree that the non-commercial aspects of Christmas are best, but we can still participate in gift giving in a way that doesn’t cause stress. Here are a few ideas:

Only give gifts to the youngest generation

Set an agreed-upon spending limit for each member of the family

Set an gift-limit for each member of the family

Only give homemade gifts or gifts of experience

Skip the gifts and do something do something fun together together instead

Getting the conversation started

It can be difficult to change a family dynamic. One approach is to ‘cocoon,’ or to build outward from yourself to your closest confidants and beyond. In a traditional family, this might look like:

Yourself (clarify your own thoughts) Your partner/spouse Your immediate family Extended family/friends

Are you really against gift giving?

No! Giving is a wonderful thing. The giving of gifts or resources and the expression of gratitude for such gifts are a crucial part of social bonding. It’s hard to imagine a healthy society without rituals of gift giving. Ancient wisdom and modern research both reflect this point.

But “gifts” do not have to be consumer goods, and they certainly don’t have to be at such a cost that it causes stress or other personal or interpersonal problems. So while I don’t have aspirations to (full) Grinch-hood, I do feel obligated to speak about the problem of pluralistic ignorance and Christmas consumerism, in the hope that it may create a spark for some healthy conversation.

There are plenty of enjoyable and meaningful ways we can give to others, which means there’s no need to follow a norm we don’t enjoy or find meaningful.

References:

Katz, Daniel, and Floyd H. Allport (1931). Student Attitudes. Syracuse, N.Y.: Craftsman

Photo credits:

Public Domain

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