Do you know how to be charming? How does one become charming, actually?

These are questions which people have, but do not seem to have the answer to. After all, charm seems like an elusive quality which you either have or don’t have.

First off, let’s look at the meaning of charm, which is “a power of pleasing or attracting, as through personality or beauty.” Hence, a charming person is someone who pleases or attracts other people, be it through personality and/or beauty.

Given that, I believe being charming is about firstly, knowing yourself, and secondly, caring for others.

I find that people who know themselves, their place in the world, and relentlessly pursue the things they believe in, are very attractive. People who know who they are and what they stand for naturally radiate an indescribable energy. People who don’t know who they are and what they stand for usually blend into the crowd and do not stand out. It doesn’t matter how they look; if they don’t know what they are about, it’s as if they are just empty shells.

Why do I state caring for others as the second criteria? I just find people who care for others, extremely endearing. I’m passionate about helping other people (grow), and I find people who put others before themselves very beautiful. Very, very beautiful. I think it takes a person of a certain character to put others’ interests before themselves (not to the point of neglecting their own needs, of course), and in this world and age where people are often fighting for their own needs, it (kindness) is a beautiful character trait to have.

These two characteristics are traits that I’m constantly working on myself. I’m not a perfect person but I do strive to be a better person than I was yesterday. And I believe all of you reading this do so as well. 🙂

I know that some people want to become charming because they want to be more attractive to the opposite sex or the same sex. My stance is that you shouldn’t try to mold or change yourself to fit what others want just to appear charming to them. That’s the direct opposite of what it takes to be a charming person.

It’s the same as someone asking, “How does one become an inspirational person?” You become an inspirational person by setting your goals and pursuing them. Live by example, make your life the highest version of what it can be, and inspire others by your direct actions. You don’t become an inspirational person by trying to be inspirational. Maybe you would be partially successful in making others feel that way about you, but then who would you be living your life for? Yourself, or others? That’s something to think about.

In short, be the highest person you can be and care for others. Be the highest person not in terms of your external actions, but the actions you take each day to be your best self. Care for others not for the sake of it, but because you genuine care for others. That’s when you truly become a charming personality. 🙂 ♥

Read: Are You Emotionally Generous?

Image: Girl smiling