In my last field report from the land of eBay fraudsters, I disclosed how some clown attempted to purchase $13,000 of LED rope lighting using an account registered with my e-mail address. Perhaps the only thing more upsetting than realizing that eBay did not properly verify the e-mail address was experiencing how little concern the company had in resolving the issue. I won't rehash the account, since you can go back and read the ridiculous tale at your convenience. I am here instead to tell you about how this matter was resolved.

Apparently, I'm a terrible, terrible person.

The banhammer drops

More than a week after my first write-up of this little adventure, I received a series of presumably automated warnings from the AI at eBay UK. First came an ominous "MC126 NOTICE” informing me that my eBay account (note: I never had an eBay account) had been suspended because I supposedly have been "claiming to be an eBay employee when you are not, or pretending to be another member.” The notice goes on to say that "this is not permitted on eBay.”

Pretending to be an eBay employee or even another member certainly sounds nefarious. Of course, I did neither. But in that now-classic "eBay's going to put the onus on you to clean up its mess" style of customer service, the notice told me that I will never be allowed to use eBay unless I successfully appeal my suspension.

So let's consider all of the ways in which eBay UK's customer support has tried to pass the buck for something I've had absolutely nothing to do with. First, after telling them that someone registered an account and engaged in an auction using my identity, they simply told me to register another account (as if that addresses anything at all).

When I clarified that this matter was indeed a little more serious than a registration problem, eBay UK actually had the gall to suggest that I use the fraudulently registered account to contact the seller and ask for his forgiveness. This would mean that I would have to reset the password on an account that I have never used, contact a seller in my own precious time, and hope that he cancels the transaction.

(On the positive side, I did receive a notice saying that the bid associated with this bogus account of "mine" has been officially canceled. That should bring an end to those harassing e-mails demanding that I pay for a truckload of LEDs.)

To top it all off, eBay UK now tells me that I have misrepresented myself, and if I ever want to use eBay again (not to worry, I don't), I have to appeal this suspension.

As you can see, no good deed goes unpunished.

I'm left with only one rejoinder: eBay UK, you are only pretending to take user account security seriously, and frankly you should be embarrassed that individuals are able to register accounts without properly verifying e-mails in the way that nearly every other service on the Internet manages to accomplish.

Listing image by brianc