The College Board will soon attach Pity Points to SAT scores. The Pity Points will be used to suggest that those who scored poorly did not in fact score poorly and thus deserve access to the “best” universities.

According to the WSJ, the SAT bosses “plans to assign an adversity score to every student who takes SAT to try and capture their social and economic background”.

It is possible to cheat taking the SAT, but it is difficult. Anxious parents can have ringers sit in for their preciouses, or the kids might go old-fashioned and put notes on their cuffs. These strategies do boost scores, but they’re risky. They don’t beat studying, although they can overcome to some degree a student’s native limitations.

Pity Points can be had with ease, though. They’re calculated “using 15 factors including the crime rate and poverty levels from the student’s high school and neighborhood.” Just have your kid take the test in the ghetto (do they still say “ghetto”?) and boost ’em up.

Now it’s only a guess, but there is no indication I could discover that any personal information goes into these scores, meaning they’ll be based only on geographic details. They wouldn’t dare use, I think, “Are you Asian?”, because this ploy might be discovered. One or more of the questions they do use, though, might easily be the racial makeup of the testing area. Or there will be other proxies for race.

Indeed, crime rate and poverty levels are already terrific indicators of race. This is why algorithms which specifically exclude race but include correlates of the same are so often decried as “racist”. The SAT bosses figured this out and turned it around.

Administrators who were anxious to make their Diversity quotas but who couldn’t explain why certain races were not required to perform as well as others can now use Pity Points knowing these will highly correlate with race. And they’ll be able to say, with mostly straight faces, that they didn’t use race as a factor in admissions.

It’s a brilliant plan. It’s also obvious nonsense. But it’s nonsense in the approved direction, and this is all that counts. Our society has long left behind Reality, and this small thing is not much of an affront to Truth.

In the same WJS piece it says (East) Asians score about 100 points higher than whites on average, and whites score 177 points higher than blacks and 133 points higher than Hispanics. These are huge—and persistent—differences. They can’t be ignored; and least, not without blushing.

Pity Points will thus have to be leaned on pretty heavily to purge Asians, and a little less heavily to punish whites. Colleges are willing to lean.

The score “is literally affecting every application we look at,” said a Yale apparatchick. Or I should say “said literally”. The Pity Points have “been a part of the success story to help diversify our freshman class.”

Why is Diversity something to be sought over ability? Hey, are you some kind of bigot?

The most revealing statement came from a Chicago high school bureaucrat, who said, “My emails are inundated with admissions officers who want to talk to our diversity kids.”

Diversity kids?

Well, everybody knows exactly what this means: non-white, non-Asians, and lately non-perverts.

Interestingly, there is no indication the Pity Points will apply to those embracing various perversions. Points, as far as we can see, will only work for diversity kids. Crime and neighborhood, as said, are good proxies for race, but unless the kids are from the Castro in San Francisco, there is no reliable geographic marker to indicate abhorrent sexual desire.

In order to achieve this highly desired level of Diversity, the SAT would have to ask personal questions. Maybe they could have a series of pictures of sexual activities, “Which of these would you do?” That’s absurd, so they’ll have to look at something else. Maybe religious questions. But once you open the door for personal questions the whole reason for the SAT is defenestrated.

“Students won’t be told the scores, but colleges will see the numbers when reviewing their applications.”

Good luck keeping the sauce secret!

Of course, it won’t be kept secret, not for long. It will take only one aggrieved person of color or perversion to sue to see their Pity Points before SAT or colleges buckle.

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