Parks don't cost much, - closing them would

REDWOODS 1-C-19MAY00-PZ-KL ---John Brady and Sarah Kennel both of Oakland hike through the redwoods in Big Basin State Park. The Sempirvirens Club is celebrating it's 100th anniversary this weekend, the Club was founded to preserve California's coast redwoods. less REDWOODS 1-C-19MAY00-PZ-KL ---John Brady and Sarah Kennel both of Oakland hike through the redwoods in Big Basin State Park. The Sempirvirens Club is celebrating it's 100th anniversary this weekend, the Club ... more Photo: Kendra Luck, The Chronicle Photo: Kendra Luck, The Chronicle Image 1 of / 3 Caption Close Parks don't cost much, - closing them would 1 / 3 Back to Gallery

To start the day Monday, what some say is D-Day for California's state parks, Gov. Schwarzenegger could set a state tax dollar on his desk.

He could then cut that dollar in half, that is, the half that goes to K-12 education, and then convert rest to change. Of the remaining 50 cents, he could then sweep 12 cents into a jar, the money that goes to state prisons. Of the remaining 38 cents that pays for everything else, the governor could take one single penny and cut it into 10 tiny pieces.

Under a microscope, he could then admire one of those pieces and say, "Look how much money I can save from the tax dollar by closing 220 state parks. I could save one-tenth of one percent of the general fund. What a deal!"

Schwarzenegger could then call in the state's economic advisers and his vice governors to discuss how to spin this in a press conference. "I'm not really closing state parks. We're just going to have them pay their own way. We must save the budget for the great state of California." This is an excellent idea, his advisers agree: "Just have all state parks pay their own way."

To keep parks open and operate as they are now, the Department of State Parks would have to triple user fees. Entrance fees would average $18 per vehicle. Visiting a state beach in Southern California would cost $30. Camping would cost $60 to $100 per night, more at Monterey Bay. If there was a decrease in visits, the fees could be raised again. "The parks must pay their own way," the governor might say. "If they can't, we'll have to close them."

At that point, continuing our scenario, a tax expert for the state might point out: "According to a study by UC Berkeley economists, for every dollar we put into State Parks, we're actually investing $2.35 into the general fund from sales tax and jobs. When you look at the multiplier effect, all the money in support of trips to parks, closures would devastate local economies."

The tax expert could cite a case in point from last year. "When fires closed Pfeiffer Big Sur State Park for 10 months, State Parks lost $2 million in revenue from user fees and the Big Sur community reported it lost $40 million in total revenue from the multiplier effect."

Schwarzenegger would likely then survey his vice governors. "All this makes me look like an idiot, to think cutting off State Parks would solve our budget deficit. Why have you advised me to do this?"

"We are in crisis and we must act immediately," answers one.

If the cuts take effect, State Parks would stay open until Labor Day, explained a bean counter. After that, Ruth Coleman, the director of State Parks, would then be forced to order parks closed. Only parks that produce positive revenue would stay open. California parks would then cascade into oblivion, including 60 of 61 redwood parks.

Last year, roughly 80 million people used state parks, mentions an economist.

If this proposal were to take place, come fall at the governor's office, Gov. Schwarzenegger could review that 220 state parks were closed, and then hold up that slice of a penny, and proudly say, "Look what we did to save California."

Survival myths

Neil Strauss, the bestselling author on survival techniques, dropped me a line this week with a "Mythbuster" style note of survival myths he thought would be of interest. "If stranded in the desert, you can get water from a cactus." Nope. "If attacked by a shark, punch it in the nose." Nope ("Hit it in the eyes and gills.") "If stranded at sea with no water, you can drink your own urine to survive." Nope. "If stabbed or impaled, pull out the knife or object (like stinger of a ray), and apply pressure to wound." Nope, leave it in; remember Steve Irwin. "Praying won't help." Nope, it does help. Says Strauss: "Studies of traits of survivors have noted one thing they had in common was prayer."

Outdoors notes of note

THE ANSWER MAN: "While hiking in Paige Meadows, I always hear a 'whomping' sound from the forest. Could you please tell me what it is?" - C.J. Bready. And the answer is: the mating call of a blue grouse.

LI'L SMOKEY: Remember, Li'l Smokey? He was the bear cub rescued in a forest fire last year, brought back to life, and then released in Shasta-Trinity National Forest. State Fish and Game reports his tracking beacon shows him moving within a five-mile radius, which indicates he is healthy and active.

TWO MORE BEAR CUBS: Lake Tahoe Wildlife Care received two very young bear cubs last week and as with Li'l Smokey, is setting up a Web cam so the public can watch them. Check it out at ltwc.org.

WHALES, PART 1: A whale was spotted in San Francisco Bay and reported by several people cruising around in sailboats, including Brannan Vaughan. "Spouted water, arched its back and dove, then flopped its tail a little," he said.

WHALES, PART 2: The Oceanic Society's first natural history trip of the season to the Farallon Islands National Marine Sanctuary was a banner day, reported Capt. Roger Thomas of the Salty Lady. The numbers: Three humpback whales, including a pair within close range for 45 minutes; 28 harbor porpoises; 35 Risso's dolphins; a variety of elephant seals and other pinnipeds; along with 15 species of marine birds, including albatross, puffins and auklets.

POACHING: Fish and Game Warden Patrick Foy reports that game wardens arrested two more poachers at Point Lobos Marine Reserve, where all take is prohibited, with 51 illegal black abalone (illegal to take since 1993). "Poachers are taking in excess of 90 or 100 abalone at times," said Don Kelly of Fish and Game's Law Enforcement Division. "Amazingly, many of these poachers have previous convictions."

HOT FISHING: Cool weather in the Sierra Nevada late this past week helped trout fishing at Lake Davis near Portola, where guide Ed Dillard reported days with 50 trout, catch-and-release.

BEST TOWNS, CONT.: Outdoor Life magazine published a new list of "best towns for sportsmen" and not one town from California was mentioned. Shows they know even less than last year, when they ranked Susanville as California's No. 1 outdoors town. Still can't get over that one.

STURGEON POSTSCRIPT: In Thursday's Chronicle and at sfgate.com, many readers wrote in about the amazing tack-sharp photo of the 9-foot sturgeon re-entering the water after a full jump. Paul Sakuma, an Associated Press photographer, asked if the shot was "photo-shopped" or the real deal. That extraordinary photograph by award-winning John L. Beath was the real deal - hey, it was my fish - the best outdoors action photo I've seen in years.