To the boy who was only a blip on my radar, I wonder what your hands feel like.

Are they rough from all of your adventures?

Are they warm and encompassing? I wonder they feell like, paired with mine.

Would our fingers intertwine, locking in a safe embrace?

Would they curl over our palms, protecting the back of our hands like secrets? I wonder what your lips feel like.

Are they soft and gentle, curious and nervous?

Are they bold and ravenous, teasing and strong? I wonder what they look like when they say "I love you".

Do the corners pull into smile?

Do they strain with sincerity? I wonder what your thoughts sound like.

Not the ones you've told me a thousand times,

But the ones you've never even said. I wonder what worlds they build

And whether you're the hero

Or the villain I don't wonder what your hugs feel like,

Because I've felt them a thousand times,

Because you've told me mine are the best. I do wonder what they feel like as we fall asleep.

Are you curled around me, my shield?

Are your limbs mixed in with mine, my other half? I don't wonder whether I would've said yes to you.

There was a time when you meant the world to me,

Even when I was nothing more than there for you. I do wonder whether we would've been.

There was me waiting for you

There was me moving on

Then there was you, confused and unsure I still wonder all the time.

Its not like you've gone anywhere,

At least not physically. But I don't want it more than I want him,

Because I don't have to wonder with him. Because I know how his hands feel with mine,

they feel complete.

Because I know how his lips feel with mine,

like I'm breathing for the first time.

Because I know what his thoughts sound like,

like bad jokes and "I love you". And I know that now, you're happy too.

At least I think you are.

I hope you are. I just wish that maybe,

I could've told you.