It took four decades and her life savings, but in June Han Meimei at last held the piece of paper she wanted in her hand. After a lifetime of abuse, she was penniless and alone, but free of her violent husband.

“The happiest thing in my life was getting my divorce certificate,” said the 69-year-old from China’s northern Hebei province.

Women’s rights advocates hope future victims will not have to wait so long to live in safety; Chinese authorities recently issued the first draft law on domestic violence.

While it is welcomed as a breakthrough, grave concerns remain about the obvious loopholes in the legislation. It does not cover cohabitees, divorced couples or same-sex relationships. Nor does it address sexual violence.

Women’s groups hope that officials will take heed of the public consultation which has just closed.

“All intimate relationships should be included, be it dating, cohabitation or same-sex relationships. Violence that happens during separation after divorce should also be addressed, because people in those situations are more likely to be victims than those in marriage. We hope to push forward changes and improvements,” said Li Hongtao, professor at China Women’s University.

But she said it was the most significant advance that women’s organisations and domestic violence intervention groups had seen in 14 years of pushing for progress, particularly because it spells out how authorities should respond to cases.

“The most significant and striking feature is that from now on the government will need to be responsible; when domestic violence happens, all relevant departments should take action and assume their responsibilities. Domestic violence is no longer a private family matter between individuals,” she said.

Feng Yuan, co-founder of anti-domestic violence group Equality and long-time women’s rights advocate, described the new law as very significant but still a “work in progress”.

The marriage law was amended to ban domestic violence in 2001, but Feng said existing legislation did not address the problem systematically as the draft law does. The consultation process also raised the awareness of the public and allowed it to hear the voices of victims and grassroots advocates.

“In the past, people didn’t even recognise the existence of domestic violence, and now they generally see it as a social evil,” she said.

“But most of the time, people still don’t see hidden domestic violence [violence that does not cause serious physical harm]. And the public, even legislators, still disagree on whether addressing the issue should involve the state.”

A report from the official All China Women’s Federation last month said that nearly 40% of Chinese women who were married or in a relationship had experienced physical or sexual violence.

“It is not a private issue but a social problem,” stressed Tan Lin, head of the federation, as it released the research.

In many cases, families are complicit: Han’s mother-in-law also beat and verbally abused her, and her adult son and daughter opposed her attempts to leave their father. They have not spoken to her or given her any financial assistance since she was granted the divorce.

When Zhang Hong, 39, tried to flee her violent marriage, her mother-in-law hid her young child for three months so that she had to stay. When she finally filed for divorce, her husband’s relatives snatched the child while he assaulted her. A court awarded her custody last year, and she has now moved to a new city with the child, but her husband is appealing.

Both women – whose names have been changed to protect their identities – initially stayed with their husbands because they felt they should do so for their children’s sake. But when they sought help, little was forthcoming.

When Zhang first called the police, her ex-husband claimed she was responsible for the violence and the officers left without even taking statements: “To them, it’s just quarrels between couples,” she said.

Even when neighbours and security guards called for help on her behalf – because she could not do so during assaults – police and the local neighbourhood committee merely tried to mediate between her and her violent husband.

“There should be support for victims before their cases enter the legal process. There should be more efforts to secure their safety,” said Zhang.

The draft law states that courts must rule on requests for restraining orders within 48 hours, which should offer women greater protection. But victims must then start a lawsuit within 30 days or the order will lapse, it adds. Experts warn that means victims having to make decisions while under stress and to find the money and other resources to take up a legal case.

It requires schools and hospitals to report suspected violence in some circumstances and police to look into reports of violence – but allows officers to issue a written warning if they do not believe it is serious enough to apply criminal charges or administrative punishment.

Tackling the problem will mean changing attitudes as well as updating legislation. Zhang hopes the media will do more to highlight the gravity of domestic violence, while Feng suggested educators should introduce classes on the problem and that employers should cover the issue in their code of conduct for staff.

But Zhang’s decision not to tell her friends about what she has endured testifies to how far there is still to go in raising public awareness.

“We are in the big city; it’s not some remote village where you can imagine domestic violence existing,” she said.

“They would only think that it was unimaginable.”

Additional research by Luna Lin.