Baroness Warsi condemns rise in ‘militant’ clear thought and logic

Baroness Warsi has bitterly condemned ‘an alarming increase’ in thinking about two alternative explanations of why we’re here, and then choosing one based on logic, reason and evidence.

“For too long now, people have been turning away from religion towards science. It’s almost as if they’ve starting thinking for themselves”, complained Warsi.

“A lot of these radical scientists are a real danger to society”, she went on.

“Particularly those corners of society built around stories about super heroes, sparkly cloud people and smiting.”

Warsi’s condemnation of ‘Finding Out About Stuff Properly Rather Than Guessing’ comes just days after a Devonshire council was ordered to stop using prayer to tackle pot holes, missed bin collections and graffiti.

“I suppose ‘science’ thinks these issues can be tackled by tarmac, bin lorries and a powerful solvent applied under pressure?”, quipped Warsi.

“You’re welcome to give it a try, but I wouldn’t be surprised if praying solves the issues at roughly the same time.”

Warsi nutjob confirmation

While Warsi admits that religion has brought mankind massive wars, terrorism, brutal totalitarian states, oppression, torture, divided communities and Aled Jones – however she also believes it gives people hope.

“We want a return to traditional values based on fear, literal translation of allegories about goats and going to war with people who prefer slightly different stories to us”, demanded Warsi.

“I’m just glad England’s God gave us the power to develop sophisticated weapons systems.”