When an experience or event goes in a direction that is undesirable, it leaves us with thinking about all of the ways of how it could be different. Of how if I just did this, instead of that, my life would be so much better.

The problem with this "if only" thinking, is that it shifts your focus to the past, pulling you out of the present moment. Life is chaotic, and unpredictable with moments of beauty and despair. If we focus on the despair, then that will be the only thing that we see.

During undergrad, I recall an article about an experiment conducted on a snowboarder. His brain activity was monitored, and he was asked to visualize himself snowboarding down a mountain. The areas of the brain that lit up were recorded, and then compared to the results of his brain activity whilst actually snowboarding down a mountain. Unbelievably, the activity was the exact same, it was as if the brain didn't understand the difference between visualization and physically carrying out an act.

This directly relates to regrets, because as we discussed, focusing on the past, specifically the one event that led us not to be happy, will result in your brain re-living the experience. A cocktail of hormones that include cortisol will be released to deal with the event that your brain thinks is happening all over again!

Cortisol, if you are unfamiliar, is the "stress" hormone. The name implies that it is released during stressful experiences, as it does. Cortisol plays an important role in the fight or flight pathway. When we sense a threat, cortisol is released with other hormones to get you to act!

However, if their is no threat, then cortisol has been released for no reason, and can cause things like obesity, high blood pressure, and hair loss.

Hopefully now you can see why reliving the past is not so good for us!