Enthusiastic normcore Senate Zaddy Beto O'Rourke heard you were having a meh day and he's here to help with a new video of him petting a bunny. That's all, just 21 seconds of him gently and lovingly stroking a bunny's fur like some sort of beautiful emotions porn you custom ordered from a catalog called "Heart Tingles."

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Peter Rabbit is shewk! Look at those little bunny feet a-trembling. Beto is like an Emotional Support Candidate for this animal. That's totally the reaction I would have if Beto O'Rourke expressed even the smallest kindness in my general direction.

BETO: Hi.

Me:

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That bunny is about to go home and donate a bunch of cabbage to Beto's campaign. And after that it's going to get on to the social media platform Furbook and repost a meme about the Zodiac Killer. The bunny is all in.

All of those signs were held by rabbits. Drew Anthony Smith Getty Images

Here's my question about Beto O'Rourke: why does he look so perfect doing even the most simple things? Is it because the bar is so low? Is it because his sleeves are rolled so high? It's a mystery. I'm just saying, if I saw Ted Cruz petting a bunny I'd call the police. "Hello, The Authorities? I've just seen a hare-raising sight."



But Beto! Beto has a different air about him. Beto's like your energetic, young math teacher who got you very hot and bothered about fractions. Or your new primary care physician who never makes you feel silly for scheduling an appointment about a weird dream you had that you fear might be prophetic. The kind of doctor who seems genuinely concerned when you tell him about the search of your symptoms you did on WebMD and the segment you saw on Dr. Oz that convinced you that you have the Black Plague. "Oh, that sounds awful!" he says. "I'm so glad you came to me to talk about this."

You ever notice how, even though Beto literally running all over Texas in the swampy, late-summer heat, he never has pit stains?

Gary Miller Getty Images

Magic! (Or undershirts!)

Oh, my bad. Here's a little sweat on him.

Rick Kern Getty Images

Wow, turns out I'm into it. Nice. Take a lap, Beto!

I'm also very into photos of Beto peaking out of curtains like a kid walking into his own surprise party.

Bill Clark Getty Images

Loren Elliott Getty Images

Yeah, that's the good stuff!

I like the photo of Beto below because the shirt he has slung over his shoulder looks like a backpack and, combined with the hat, makes it look like he's Class President giving a very impassioned speech at a pep rally.

Loren Elliott Getty Images

"We're going all the way to Nationals this year!"

Oh, Beto, on behalf of myself and all the adorable rabbits of the world, I want to thank you for brightening my day and invite you back to smile in my general direction while patting me on the head any time.

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R. Eric Thomas R Eric Thomas is a Senior Staff Writer at ELLE.com, home of his daily humor column "Eric Reads the News," which skewers politics, pop culture, celebrity shade, and schadenfreude.

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