“Mazelinka?” Julian called out into the house. No answer. It appeared that she wasn’t home. “Okay, in we go,” he told Kain, who had an arm around Julian’s shoulders. He had been relying on the doctor for support all the way from the Rowdy Raven.

Even though he had Julian’s support, Kain ended up stumbling, almost pulling the other with him.

Julian let out an “oof,” holding onto Kain’s waist as to not let him fall. But Kain took this as an opportunity to wrap his arms around Julian’s neck and pull him closer.

“Hi,” he said, smiling hazily.

Julian blinked. “Well hello…”

Kain climbed onto his tiptoes. This way their faces were mere inches apart and Julian found himself blushing at the proximity.

“Uh.” Julian cleared his throat. “Why don’t we—”

“Ilya,” Kain spoke in a low tone that Julian had never heard from him before. “Ilya, Ilya. You’re gorgeous.”

“Gorgeous? You don’t even know what I look like,” Julian said through nervous laughter.

Kain raised a hand to Julian’s face and cupped his cheek, passing his thumb over his cheekbone. “I don’t. But I know you. I know your soul.” His eyes wandered aimlessly, as always settling on a point above Julian’s head. “To me, you’re beautiful.”

Julian’s knees buckled. These words were not mere superficiality, like some lady might tell him that he was handsome while slipping beside him in the booth at the Rowdy Raven. This was different. Kain couldn’t see, he couldn’t compliment Julian’s looks. He was complimenting him, everything that he was. And… it made Julian uneasy. He wasn’t beautiful, not on the inside at least. He thought Kain’s compliment to be out of place.

But before he could protest, the other said, “Kiss me.”

Julian’s eyes widened. “Woah there—Kain, you’re—you’re drunk, you can’t possibly—”

“Drunk words are sober thoughts. Please—”

He had never heard Kain plead. Not with anyone, for any reason. Julian was stunned, for a moment only standing there, gripping Kain’s waist.

“Please,” he repeated, quietly.

“No,” Julian said at last. “Not like this. You’re drunk, you don’t know what you’re saying. You don’t want me.”

“Don’t tell me what I want,” Kain said coolly, but didn’t push the matter further.

“Let’s go to sleep,” Julian suggested. He had to take Kain’s silence as a sign of agreement. Julian took him to the bed and laid him down as gently as he possibly could. Just when he was about to leave, he felt a grip on his wrist.

“Don’t go,” Kain muttered into the pillow. His eyes were closed, but his hold on Julian was quite tight.

In all honesty, Julian didn’t even want to leave him. He only thought that Kain would be uncomfortable if they slept in the same bed. This way...

He lay down beside Kain, draping an arm over his waist. Kain shuffled closer, tucking himself into Julian’s hold.

When Julian opened his eyes it was still dark outside. His heart dropped as he faced the emptiness of the bed beside him. He sat up, frantically looking around, only to spot Kain sitting in a chair by the window, facing away from Julian.

He sighed a breath of relief.

Kain’s white hair and pale skin shone in the moonlight. His white shirt had slipped off his left shoulder, leaving his spider web tattoo exposed. He was entertaining himself with his pipe, a line of smoke rising towards the ceiling from it.

Julian stood up, walked over.

Hearing his footsteps, Kain said, “I’m sober now.” He turned his head, gracing Julian with the sight of his side profile. “And I still want you to kiss me.”

Julian was drawn to him. He practically fell to his knees by the chair, holding onto the backrest for balance. He leaned in. Kain exhaled smoke to the side, before facing Julian.

“I don’t understand… Kain, you could do so much better,” Julian whispered.

Kain left his pipe on the nearby table and leaned in. He reached out, carefully, and brushed Julian’s cheek with gentle fingertips. “You think too much.” He smiled faintly. “Do you think I don’t also ponder? Do you think I don’t wonder what you’re doing with me? Let’s put that aside. Just for tonight.” By the end of the sentence, his voice was a whisper. And then, like before, he said, “Please.”

And this time, Julian closed the gap between them. This time he let Kain slip his fingers into his hair and deepen the kiss.

Kain was the one to pull away. He stood up and extended his hand to Julian. This time, Julian took it.

They returned to the bed together. Kain was quick to push Julian onto the mattress and straddle his hips. They couldn’t get enough of each other, they didn’t want to part even when they needed to stop to breathe. Julian couldn’t have imagined that kissing someone with a tongue piercing would be as amazing as it was, that the press of the metal against his own tongue would make him so excited.

Kain kissed passionately, with no control. It took everything out of Julian to reciprocate, because he wanted to, but he was simply still a little insecure.

As if reading his mind, Kain pulled away. He pressed a hand to Julian’s bare chest and said, “It’s alright.” Kain could no doubt feel Julian’s heartbeat. His expression softened and he added, “We can take it slow.”

“I don’t want to take it slow,” said Julian, breathlessly. “I want you.”

At this, Kain smiled. He leaned in, once again connecting their lips.

Even though Julian had said that he didn’t want Kain to take it slow, he handled Julian with the utmost tenderness. He never did anything without asking, “Is this okay?” He always asked Julian how he was feeling.

It was odd. Julian wasn’t used to being taken care of, he wasn’t used to gentleness. Kain’s care was alien to him, as good as it felt.

After they’d made love, Julian found himself a little overwhelmed.

Kain held him. When he asked what was wrong, Julian didn’t know what to say. He made himself as small as possible and hid away in Kain’s embrace.

“Did I do something wrong?” Kain whispered. The way his voice trembled made Julian’s heart ache.

“No! No, I’m just—” Julian didn’t know how to put it into words. Kain didn’t rush him. He gently ran his fingers Through Julian’s locks, giving him all the time he needed. “I’m not—used to being so vulnerable… I’m not used to being taken care of.”

“I know,” Kain said. When Julian looked at him, he saw a gentle, yet slightly sorrowful smile. “I’ve been trying to get you used to it, but I suppose this is a bit more…”

It was true. Ever since he’d met Kain, he had been protected and cared for, more than ever. Of course, there were people in his life who cared for him, but Julian had always been able to keep them at an arm’s length, never letting them get too close. Kain had a way of breaking down Julian’s walls…

No. Not breaking them. Going around them.

He let Julian stay guarded, while being his protection and security.

His throat burned. But he couldn’t cry, not in front of Kain. Kain was so strong, hardly ever showed that anything bothered him. What would he think of Julian if he cried right now?

Kain was still playing with his hair. As much as Julian wanted to cry, it was soothing.

“Let’s… Not think about it right now,” Kain tried.

Julian sat up. He took Kain’s hand and put it over his own heart. “Kain. I promise I will be there for you as much as you are for me. I promise, I… I’ll try. Together we can figure this out, right?” He bit his bottom lip.

Kain’s eyes were wide, a little pout set on his lips. “Ilya…” Then he smiled. “Of course we can. I—thank you. I’ve never—” He paused, as if he could no longer speak.

At that moment Julian realized that… things did get to Kain. He just worked extremely hard to hide it.

Julian pressed a kiss to Kain’s hand. “To me it looks like you too aren’t used to being cared for.”

Kain said nothing, but the reddening of his cheeks was quite visible on his pale skin.

“We can do this together,” Julian repeated, with more determination this time.

Kain gave a little nod.

The next couple of minutes were spent in silence.

Then, Kain sat up on his knees, gaze vaguely directed towards Julian.

“Ilya, can I—” He cleared his throat. “This is gonna sound weird, but… I want to—get an idea of what you look like, so…”

It took Julian no longer than half a second to understand what Kain was asking for. He kissed Kain’s hand once again and said, “Of course.”

Kain’s touch was as gentle as ever. His hands were cold and trembling ever so slightly as he carefully traced Julian’s features. His touch lingered on Julian’s lips, and Kain leaned in a little.

He withdrew. “I know it’s not the same as seeing,” he said. “And I know you already know this, but I can finally say that you are truly handsome.”

Julian grinned. “Why thank you darling.” He paused. “I know you don’t care, but you too are… very beautiful,” he spoke it breathlessly.

Kain tucked a strand of white hair behind his ears and cleared his throat. “I… care more than I let on. Thank you.”

Julian smiled and leaned in, pressing a kiss to Kain’s cheek, right underneath the piercing under his eye. “You are very welcome.”