See, it all started back in 1992, when I received a couple of highly unusual toys from my Aunt as a Christmas present. Made of solid, nonposeable rubber, they all came with a wide array of potentially hazardous accessories, the same terrible mini-comic-book, and packaging most confident in the franchise's potential stardom. Cut to nearly a decade later, and I'm sitting at home scanning character artwork off a scrap of said packaging that I dug up from a toolshed. At the time, I thought a couple of pictures and one paragraph about an obscure toy line was a perfectly noteworthy addition to my sparse little corner of the internet, but little did I realize that these things were very thoroughly ingrained in my generation's subconscious, and that virtually nowhere else on the internet had ever so much as acknowledged them. As one of Google's few results for the word "Snailiens", that sorry-ass snippet generated more conversation for me than everything else on the website combined.

I've been running this sad little website since early 2001, and let me tell you something: over the course of more than five years, I have been e-mailed about my website less than two dozen times. And of all this multitudinous fan-mail I've had to wade through, nearly half of it was asking something or other about SNAILIENS.