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Of all the places in the world for a gorilla to be, America must be the worst.

Not only are you going to be surrounded, for the first time in evolution, by humans twice your size but they each come with a brain the size of a pea.

Because only in America are humans so stupid as to think that it's fine for 48 of their children to be shot every single day, but doing the same to a gorilla is the crime of the century.

An idiot at this point would butt in: "Ah, but the gorilla was endangered!"

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Yes, and so was the four-year-old boy he was dragging through a concrete moat by one leg.

What happened at Cincinnati Zoo in Ohio was a crying shame from start to finish. And almost every bit of it involving stupid humans didn't need to happen.

Harambe shouldn't have been there in the first place - concrete is not his natural habitat, no matter how many tree stumps the keepers gave him to sit on.

There are 10,000 zoos worldwide. A quarter of them are in the USA, although that country has only 5% or so of the world's humans.

Harambe shouldn't have been bred in captivity so that concrete was all he knew, although that would have made him far less likely to hurt anyone.

(Image: ViralHog)

The dozens of people who watched him grab the boy shouldn't have been there either.

You want to see a gorilla and can't afford Africa? YouTube it. Don't give good money to keep wild beasts under lock and key so you can peer at them like they're inmates in Bedlam. It's disgusting.

Had the stupid Americans thought at all about the animals they were gawking at, they would not have screamed like banshees when the boy fell into the enclosure.

They would have stayed nice and quiet, let the keepers do their job in trying to call Harambe away as they did two female gorillas, and defused the situation.

(Image: ViralHog)

Instead they yelled and hooted, and Harambe did what any of us would do - he put himself between the noise and the child.

Stupid Americans have now started a petition blaming the boy's parents, as though they picked up their child and tossed him over the fence.

Any parent will tell you watching a four year old is like keeping an eye on a pinball machine. And seeing as the parents were dense enough to think visiting an animal prison was fun I doubt they were up to the challenge.

Witnesses say the boy, Isaiah, said he wanted to get in with the apes and his mother said no. He then seems to have crawled into the pen somehow while she was distracted.

Cue screams, cue drama, cue poor old Harambe having his day ruined.

(Image: Facebook)

Because unlike 318million Americans who are too dumb to read the entirety of the Second Amendment ("Well-regulated militia" is not the same as "any Joe who fancies it", numbskulls) Harambe didn't want to hurt anyone.

He didn't go on a rampage at a school or college campus; didn't slap on Joker face paint and go tooled up to the cinema; didn't claim Hillary Clinton was a Communist agent trying to sell his land back to the British.

He just wanted a nice quiet day and probably some fruit.

Instead a small screamy thing jumped into his moat, two of his wives ran off and the fat people on the other side of the fence started screaming like the front row at a One Direction concert.

(Image: @CincinnatiZoo/Twitter)

Add to this mix the fact gorillas have an IQ about the same as the boy who thought it a good idea to crawl into his pen to start with and you're frankly lucky all he did was drag him around a bit.

Harambe showed zero signs of aggression - and plenty of confusion and unhappiness, just like the hundreds of stupid Americans who held a candlelit vigil for him after he was shot dead by his keepers.

Local police say 31 people were shot in Cincinnati in the past month alone. Zero candlelit vigils were held, nil petitions begun about the parents of those concerned, and no human rights activists got their knickers in a twist.

And not one of these bleeding hearts is able to come up with an alternative to shooting Harambe dead.

(Image: change.org)

Because a tranquiliser would take a few minutes to work, and the boy could be injured further in that time.

Darting Harambe could antagonise him, and the boy could be killed as a result.

And had it worked and Harambe fallen unsconscious, the 28-stone ape would more than likely have toppled over on Isaiah.

The alternative to darting him is doing nothing and hoping for the best. Do people seriously think if you toss Harambe a banana, or open negotiations, you'd get anywhere? You might as well negotiate with a cement truck.

(Image: CEN)

The zoo had to kill Harambe. It just shouldn't have had to happen.

Isaiah shouldn't have been able to crawl into the enclosure. The witnesses shouldn't have screamed .

Gorillas shouldn't be endangered. They shouldn't be in zoos.

Those zoos shouldn't get 20 bucks off anyone to stare at inbred, unhappy creatures while we continue to ignore the damage we're doing to their homes.

And when something horrid like this happens, we should be asking ourselves who left a hole big enough in the fence for a boy to crawl through.

(Image: Facebook)

We should ask why zoos don't educate their visitors better about how to behave around their animals.

We should ask why people are happy to spend 20 bucks on a potentially-fatal day trip and not on gorilla conservation.

We should ask ourselves why Americans are so stupid they blame the stupidity of others rather than themselves, even when a beautiful, rare and non-homicidal creature has died because of their stupidity.

But America won't do that, because it's too damned stupid.

So they will instead ask themselves: "Who can we sue?"

And secondly: "Should we give every four-year-old a gun as well?"

Harambe, frankly, is better off out of it.