It’s hard to interest people in a lament for our lost legislature — everyone assumes readers don’t care enough to click, let alone vote.

If a tree falls in a forest and no one hears, did it happen? If a legislature fades in a democracy and no one notices, does it matter?

Judge for yourself, based on this day in the life of our legislature:

It begins with the morning question period. In fairness, it is not called “answer period,” but the premier of the day is expected to make a pretence of debate — perhaps resorting to self-deprecating humour or self-righteous anger to diss the questioner, dismiss the question, diminish the opposition, buttress his own government, but at least address the topic (or in rare instances, reply to a serious question with a serious answer).

Not today. The Official Opposition NDP asks about budget cuts, but Premier Doug Ford has a better idea.

Not only will he not answer their questions, but he will ignore the topics entirely, instead reading from a list — literally — of unrelated government announcements.

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When the NDP asks about the future of ambulance services, the premier replies by boasting about his “buck-a-beer” strategy, bemoans “illegal border-crossers,” and decries the “job-killing carbon tax.” On cue, his majority Tories jump to their feet with standing ovations.

The loyal opposition shall be forever stonewalled. But whenever more faithful Progressive Conservative backbenchers ask their prepared questions, Ford’s cabinet replies with exquisitely and obsequiously scripted answers.

Ontario’s so-called First Government For the People has turned parliamentary democracy upside down: It shall be answerable only to its own members, but unaccountable to elected MPPs from opposition parties who captured more than 58 per cent of the vote.

Green Party Leader Mike Schreiner rises with a question about the dreaded Ontario Municipal Board — unanimously voted out of existence in the last legislature with the support of the Progressive Conservatives, but now revived by them. Finance Minister Vic Fedeli declines to explain the about-face, instead trumpeting cancellation of a scheduled hike in the minimum wage to $15 — not so much a non-answer as a non sequitur.

While the politicians talk past each other inside the chamber, anti-abortion protestors are outside on the front lawn. Progressive Conservative MPP Sam Oosterhoff slips out to address the crowd, vowing to make a woman’s right to abortion “unthinkable in our lifetime.”

Oosterhoff clearly feels strongly about the right to protest when the topic is abortion. But when a group of seniors walked into his Niagara constituency office for an unannounced book reading, days before, in protest against budget cuts to libraries and book clubs, his staff called police — and the MPP backed them up. (Beware seniors-cum-bookworms who stage sit-ins, let alone read-ins.)

His words of protest concluded, Oosterhoff retakes his seat inside. NDP health critic France Gélinas, one of the most dignified MPPs in the legislature, asks Ford to clarify his government’s abortion policy in light of Oosterhoff’s public pledge.

This time, the premier ducks, delegating the question to Energy Minister Greg Rickford, a defeated Harper minister who is the legislature’s most unctuous bloviator, in love with his own voice and enraptured by his own body language. Rickford chops the air with his hands as he speaks not of abortion but “protecting seniors ... no matter where they live in this great, beautiful province.”

Ah yes, seniors. Asked about siccing the cops on seniors, Ford dodges an apology with his own off-topic reply:

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“On Aug. 2, we challenged the federal carbon tax in court ...

“On Aug. 7” — one of their favourites — “we issued a buck-a-beer challenge, and people took us on up on the buck-a-beer challenge ...

“On Aug. 13, we announced the cannabis retail model.”

And so on, all through question period. Talking out the clock until it’s time to talk to waiting journalists outside the chamber.

Except for Oosterhoff who, fresh from speaking outside the legislature, has lost his tongue inside the precincts. The cameras follow him trying to escape into an elevator, until, embarrassed by the spectacle, he comes out again.

Summoning his inner Dr. Seuss, Oosterhoff offers these words of wisdom: “A person’s a person, no matter how small.”

Meanwhile, the premier has called his fellow Tories to an unscheduled meeting after question period, with his caucus whip standing by the door to ensure attendance. It has been a stellar stonewalling effort on all fronts, worthy of celebration.

The session lasts barely five minutes, time enough for Ford to preside over what he calls a “rah-rah” session congratulating his MPPs on their collective discipline.

Barely an hour later, the premier’s office belatedly recognizes their glee may have been premature. What the premier viewed as superb message discipline now looks messy.

An emailed statement is sent to reporters clarifying what Ford was thinking when he thought not to speak in the legislature, instead deploying Rickford’s passive-aggressive rhetoric.

“The government will not re-open the abortion debate,” the statement reads, while leaving unsaid why the premier didn’t simply say so when asked. Such are the perils of not answering questions in question period.

A day in the life of the legislature. And a depressing day for democracy.

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