Over the years, Oscar-winning actress Diane Keaton has enchanted many of Hollywood's most dashing men, from Warren Beatty to Al Pacino (and also Woody Allen). But at least one famous male seems utterly resistant to her charms: Stephen Colbert.

Keaton paid a visit to "The Colbert Report" Monday night, ostensibly to promote the paperback release of her memoir, "Then Again," but the interview quickly descended into slap-happy chaos.

The Oscar-winning actress started the conversation on an adversarial note, telling Colbert she wouldn't vote for him for president. She also seemed strangely preoccupied with Colbert's rear end, declaring apropos of nothing that she didn't want to see his naked tushie (though her words for it were a bit more colorfully phrased).

Baffled by the reference to his posterior, Colbert suggested that she had merely misinterpreted his backstage hug. But Keaton hardened her stance: "I'm bringing you up on charges. ... I really mean it."

Throughout the segment, Colbert tried to steer the conversation back to Keaton's book -- and particularly her relationship with her late mother -- but she repeatedly resisted his line of inquiry.

"Did your mother want you to be an actress?" Colbert asked.

"Now you know why I wouldn't vote for you," she replied, entirely ignoring Colbert's question. "Because you're a sexual pervert."

Things only got punchier from there. Colbert eventually demanded that "before I encourage my viewers to buy the book," Keaton would have to say "one [bleeping] thing about it." She responded with spasms of laughter.

As the segment drew to a close, Keaton asked if she would make a good talk-show sidekick. Then, as if to answer her own question, she got up to leave the stage without realizing the cameras were still rolling.

No, Diane, probably not -- but we wouldn't want it any other way.

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— Meredith Blake

twitter.com/MeredithBlake