Melania Trump’s Tips for Combatting Cyberbullying

Cyberbullying is a real problem facing all people who have put themselves on the internet, because a cyberbully will strike without warning, and you could be hurt, ashamed, or made to feel bad about your appearance. But we can’t stop cyberbullies. The internet is too big and there are too many of them. And what makes a cyberbully a “bully” anyway? That they said something that might be a tiny bit true? Instead of stopping all the cyberbullies, because that’s impossible, let’s try to understand the bully’s point of view so we can maybe change our minds about how we feel.

If you are told you are fat by someone online, perhaps be a little less fat. Try going on a diet. I have heard that there are many healthy food options in the grocerymarketstore, so you can just try them all and stop eating so much bad stuff. Being fat is an epidemic in America. The way we can prevent this is by eating better, getting liposuction, getting bypass surgery, and doing Zumba. Then, no one can say you are fat on the internet — because you won’t be fat.

If you are ugly and old, try buying my anti-aging skin care products. They truly work miracles and you won’t be called “ugly” or a “2” anymore if you use them. And you should also get your teeth fixed by one of the dentists in your wonderful health care plan. Also, run a comb through your hair, or use my ionic hair dryer for hair that will truly blow your man away. I could go on and on about this topic, but trust me, if you do some of this you won’t be ugly and the cyberbullies will stop cyberbullying you. Everybody wins.

But be warned: If you had plastic surgery and go out in public soon afterwards, people will know. Don’t do this. Or maybe you should have chosen a better surgeon? Or been more quiet about having it in the first place? Go into hiding for as long as you can after plastic surgery, because it would be really embarrassing if someone saw you at Mar-a-Lago with blood and scars. They wouldn’t know for sure, but bullies will assume the worst, so don’t let them see you. Because then, they will go online and talk about your surgery.

If you are speaking online about news that is probably fake, you will likely attract some cyberbullies who will point this out. Only support and talk about news from the proper sources. Look at my husband’s tweets for the best ones to watch and read. If you support the wrong news sources that would be very embarrassing, and you might get bullied. Everybody loses.

By the way, I love gay people. I love to see people living as they wish, yet not all people are as supportive. We can’t stop people from being mean to gays online, so to stop being cyberbullied, my suggestion is to probably stay off the internet? I think that would work. Honestly, this one is tricky. You could probably also just pretend to be straight so as to keep the mean bullies from noticing you. I don’t know. Give it a try?

In short, there is absolutely nothing we can do about bullies being mean online. We’re at their mercy. So the best defense against cyberbullies is to avoid looking, doing, or saying anything that might trigger them. Also, in my experience, they like to play golf. Lots of golf. So much golf. So, let them have their fun and maybe they’ll leave you alone and let you live in New York City like a real person. Everybody wins.