YOU are 34 and have one or two little children, and a friend of yours starts a social group called “No kids, no worries” - for which he generates huge publicity, so you definitely know about it. How do you feel?

Friends of 34-year-old Adelaide executive Ben Mahoney could answer this. If they are still friends that is. Mr Mahoney’s decision to start a club which only welcomes people who don’t have children and “don’t want children in their life” may have given the impression he’s not that keen on catching up any time soon.

Mr Mahoney says he resents being asked when he’s going to grow up and settle down, loves his career and travel and his life plan doesn’t include kids. At least he’s honest and will never run the risk of disappointing a future partner (he’s single) who thinks she may be hooking up with someone who wants to be a dad. Each to their own.

Nevertheless, his story about starting a social group for the child-free has caused much heat as parents feel scorched by the following line: “It’s nice to go out with friends and not have to hear about nappies or sleep or worrying about the babysitter.”

Us child-free people do not want to hear about the contents of your nurseries, seemed to be message. Also, we’re bored with your babysitter issues.

Readers of Adelaide’s Advertiser have let it be known loudly on the paper’s website and Facebook page that they are outraged with the perception people with children are socially tedious and best avoided if you want a good night out, with many also authentically riled about the idea anything about having kids is a negative.

Some have suggested it’s simply insulting to start a social group where “everyone is welcome, regardless of age, gender, religion or sexuality, the only caveat is to be kid-free” and that if such a group was started allowing anybody in except child-free people there would be fury.

But child-free 33-year-old and Advertiser columnist Petra Starke points out there kind of already is such a club, called mother’s group. And you could add any number of parent school social groups to that.

Petra (who is in a long-term relationship that has not yet included a baby, but who is not against having children) says she is losing most of her friends to children. Her parent-friends tend to need to be booked way in advance for a social outing and then need to be home by 11pm. Also, she suspects they’d rather be home with a bottle of red and the TV, no visitors.

The problem for those furious with Mahoney is that there is some truth to what he says, as supported by Petra. I vividly recall being totally absorbed in every detail of early motherhood, and quite possibly did go on about it too much — only I was fortunate that 95 per cent of my girlfriends were in the same zone.

That’s not to say everyone else needs to be too, if they are to be considered to have a worthwhile life.

A choice to remain child-free reflects nothing bad about you as a person, and all the anger over Mr Mahoney’s group, which had its first meeting in an Adelaide pub last Friday night, has highlighted an ongoing rift between parents and the child-free that it’s high time was resolved.

People who don’t have kids are not “selfish” and do not “lead pointless lives”, as Petra Stark points out. In fact. they’re doing the environment a favour. Also, it’s nobody business but theirs.

People who have kids are not selfish for discussing “pointless” stuff like what’s going on with their little babies either ... in any friendship asking about the stuff that’s going in the other person’s life tends to be not just polite but a sign of your genuine bond. Friends like knowing what’s going on with friends, don’t they?

Mr Mahoney’s real mistake is calling his group something that does appear deliberately provocative to parents. It’s a bold and possibly silly label for many reasons, not least of which if he ever does decide to trade in all the travel and freedom for the thinly stretched, socially starved lot of the new parent he’ll need to be ultra cautious about ever over-sharing about the babysitter and nappy pain ... lest he turns into “one of those”.

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