Life jackets and floatation devices should be banned. They encourage risky behavior. The only 100% effective way to prevent drowning is total abstinence from going in the water.

And if you do, by chance, find yourself struggling with drowning, then no life-saving or otherwise procedure or act should be allowed to be administered. you got yourself into this mess, you have to live with the consequences.

You should see drowning as a gift.

You, there with the sunglasses! You're just asking for it!

Also, if you were forcibly pushed into the water, don't worry. It was a legitimate pushing. Your body will find a way to shut out all the water and survive the drowning.

(source: http://breanieswordvomit.tumblr.com/)