The England Sevens player Sam Stanley has become the first English rugby union professional to come out as gay. Stanley, 23, part of one of rugby union’s most famous families who has represented England at under-16 and under-18 level and has played for Saracens, revealed he contemplated suicide because he was scared telling the truth would ruin his rugby career.

“I was standing on a bridge about four or five years ago, overlooking a motorway in Essex,” Stanley told the Sunday Times. “However, looking back, the idea that I would jump was ridiculous but it was as if I was thinking that I could get rid of the pain in one go. You are so worried about what people will think and I thought I couldn’t be a macho rugby player the way I was, and there was nothing else I wanted to do with my life.”

Stanley joined Saracens in 2010 and spent four years at the north London club before joining the sevens circuit in 2014, playing in five tournaments in with England. He joined Ealing Trailfinders in the Championship to continue his rehabilitation from serious knee injuries in June. Born to an English mother and a father of Samoan descent, Stanley’s brother Mike has been named in Samoa’s World Cup squad while his uncle Joe was part of the New Zealand side who won the 1987 tournament.

Stanley’s decision to come out comes nearly six years after the former Wales captain Gareth Thomas revealed he is gay. Two years before that, the referee Nigel Owens did likewise. Earlier this month Keegan Hirst became the first British rugby league professional to come out as gay. “It is going to be an issue until more people and athletes come out, until it is not an issue at all. It might take years but hopefully, lots of people will find the courage,” added Stanley.