HOW often do you see a drunk Scotsman in possession of a cow?

Answer: Never, it’s illegal. Planning on getting married after a few in the U.K? Nope, that’s not happening either. Depending on the country you’re in, drinking beer can be a legally confusing business.

Here are some of the world’s weirdest beer laws:

Nigeria

So whilst it’s illegal to import beer in Nigeria, it’s also illegal to brew it. But if you do manage to find it, drinking and purchasing beer is fine as long as you are over the age of 18. Confusing much?

Nebraska

Nebraska is home to several inexplicable beer laws including the one that says it’s illegal for you to sell beer on your premises unless you also happen to be making a kettle of soup. No word on if reheating a previously made batch of minestrone is technically acceptable or not.

Alaska and Ohio

Up in Alaska, it’s illegal to serve beer to a moose, we’re assuming because those hairy beasts can’t hold their liquor. Funnily enough though, further south in Ohio, it’s totally fine to give your fish beer as long as you don’t get it drunk. RSA takes on a whole different meaning.

Iowa

Popping in to bed with your wife? Better not have more than three sips of beer while in bed in the Corn Belt state or else you could risk a fine. No word on how regularly, if ever, this law in enforced.

Russia

Up until just a few years ago beer was not considered an alcoholic beverage in Russia, as the alcoholic content was less than 10 per cent. Instead it was considered a foodstuff and as such could be sold at all times of day and consumed openly in public. Though drinking laws have been strengthened in recent years, the legal drinking age of 18 is still loosely enforced.

Scotland

With laxer laws than other parts of the United Kingdom, Scotland nevertheless takes their drinking laws very seriously. Like the one that says a drunken man cannot be in possession of a cow.

Canada

Drinking beer in a Canadian bar and after a glass of water? Well if you’re in Saskatchewan then you’re out of luck. Drinking water whilst in a beer parlour is illegal in this region, however in any other Canadian province you’ll be fine. For added points, head over to the Sourdough Saloon and try the infamous Sourtoe cocktail.

With a gruesome secret ingredient (hint: it’s a preserved human toe), and a lot of alcohol, this drink is one to write home about. Just make sure you don’t swallow the toe – you’ll incur a hefty fine for the Saloon having to source a new, apparently ‘willing’ donor.

Texas

In the days of pre-Wikipedia, when home encyclopaedias were popular, it was illegal in Texas to own the Encyclopaedia Britannica because it contained a recipe for how to make beer in your home. Texan lawmakers would prefer you head to the pub instead.

Australia

Here’s a bizarrely enforced law in our own backyard. Did you know it is illegal to crush a beer can between your breasts in Western Australia? It’s true, so best restrain yourself when in the Golden State; this law set back a bar just outside of Perth a cool $1000.

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