CORPUS CHRISTI, TX—Confirming no one had raised the subject of drinking, coworkers of newly expectant mother Jennifer Guest reported that after the brand consultant announced her pregnancy to the office Monday, she had been a bit too quick to mention she was still allowed to have a weekly glass of wine. “She had barely gotten out that she was having a baby before she was, like, ‘I can still have wine, though!’” said Bridgemeyer Marketing Services secretary Sharon Wilson, recalling how Guest had reiterated several times that it was a normal thing to do while pregnant and had gotten progressively more defensive despite the fact that no one was disagreeing with her. “Before we could even congratulate her, she was going into detail about how it was a great way for pregnant women to wind down at the end of the week, and that it wasn’t like a drink or even two was going to hurt the baby. It got uncomfortable at one point, because she started citing a bunch of studies, complete with all these complicated statistics, and everyone was just kind of nodding in silence. Thankfully, [operations manager] Frank [Searle] said he had read somewhere that red wine was good for your heart, and that took the heat off her for a while.” At press time, attendees at a company happy hour said that while Guest had ordered only one 6-ounce glass of chardonnay that evening, she had been a little too wholehearted in her enjoyment of it.

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