My secret Santa is brilliant. My sister, not so much. Let’s talk about her faults for a second, she spits in my water bowl, which the last gift exchange fixed. She has an awful personality, and can barely hold a reasonable conversation, unlike my new friend. Most importantly, she steals my toys. Every toy I’ve ever had, she steals, covers in her spit, and loses under the couch. So, being fed up with her nonsense, I let her have the newest gift from Arbitrary Day. It’s a feather that moves under a blanket, and she loves it! Quite frankly, I watched it get assembled, I know it's not real, but that’s not to say her feeble mind can’t enjoy it.

Now, you’re probably wondering, “How does that make my Secret Santa brilliant?” Simple, he was smart enough to pack a giant thing of snacks, so I can sit back, get my nom-nom on, and watch my sister act like an idiot.