Oklahoma Lawmaker pitches study to stop “Reefer Madness” from harming Oklahoma…

The chin-head pictured above, who looks like he should be drinking with Peter Griffin at the Drunken Clam, is Republican State Rep. Lewis Moore.

Last Friday, he righteously requested the Oklahoma House of Representatives hold an interim study to investigate “Stopping ‘Reefer Madness’ from harming Oklahoma!”

Sadly, Lewis isn’t referring to the misinformation spewed by the infamous and hysterical 1930s propaganda film that inadvertently made marijuana look like the most amazing drug on the planet by warning people about its insanely exaggerated evils. He’s simply trying to be clever and referring to medical marijuana legalization as “madness.”

Here’s a summary of his proposal:

You may think it’s odd that Lewis is requesting to study these things after A) Oklahomans overwhelmingly approved SQ 788, and B) conservative Oklahoma lawmakers, for the most part, upheld the integrity of 788 with their “unity package.” But then again, you have to remember that Lewis is a theocratic Oklahoma lawmaker, and giving people from all walks of life the freedom and power to purchase a mild intoxicant that makes them feel good really grinds his gears.

Either way, as a self-appointed expert on the devil’s lettuce, I thought I’d be a good citizen, save everyone some time and money, and answer Lewis’s questions for him…

1. What are the dangers of marijuana use? Well, it can make you thirsty, hungry and sleepy. It also makes you dumber, while simultaneously making you feel smarter and more enlightened, which I guess means it’s a lot like religion.

2. What legal recourse is there to stop tainted product from coming into Oklahoma? I’d like to respond to this question with my own question: Where was this concern about tainted marijuana entering the state from the 1930s to 2018?

Not that I would ever admit to buying marijuana while it was illegal, but unless you knew the grower, you had no clue where the stuff came from and what insecticides, fertilizers and drying agents the Mexican drug cartels sprayed all over it. That changed a bit when Colorado and other states legalized weed, and medical-grade stuff started trickling into the state like smoke escaping from the cracks of a closed bathroom door at a high school-house party. But if guys like Lewis didn’t care then — when hundreds of thousands of people used marijuana each year — why care now?

3. Who does testing on substance right now? This is actually a fair question, and is something they’re still trying to figure out in states where marijuana has been legalized for many years. The accuracy and integrity of THC testing results can’t always be trusted, so I’d say just go with what your budtender recomnends. Most of the time they are stoned, and stoned people are usually way too honest.

4. Do legal sales encourage cartels and other negative forces in the state? Yeah, 100% without a doubt, the legalization of marijuana will greatly help the cartels that profited off the prohibition of a high-demand product for decades and decades and decades. The legalization of medical marijuana and the ability for consumers to by it from safe, regulated, local businesses, will be a boom for the cartels’ business. I guess it will also help the other “negative forces” in the state that profited off prohibition, like local sheriff departments and the Oklahoma Bureau of Narcotics.

Seriously, though, what shitty ditch weed was he smoking when he came up with that question? Is there a black market for medical marijuana? Of course! Just like there were still bootleggers and moonshiners following the repeal of alcohol prohibition, it’s going to take a while to legitimize the thriving multi-billion dollar marijuana black market. The people who benefited from the ridiculous prohibition will do whatever they can to hang on and make money. Can you blame them?

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Anyway, if you have comments or thoughts on Lewis’s proposed study, I’d suggest giving him a call or email. When you do, keep in mind – this is just a proposal. House leaders like Jon Echols have been very clear-headed (like a nice a sativa) when dealing with medical marijuana. Let’s hope he sees the study for what it is – reefer madness.