James Nielsen, a two-time NCAA 5,000-meters champion and Canadian, smashed the beer mile world record over the weekend with a time of four minutes, 57 seconds. He is 34.


It takes a special brand of idiot to be gifted enough to break the world record—IAAF World Championship silver medalist Nick Symmonds attempted it in 2012 and only mustered a 5:15. The former record of 5:09 was set by Jim Finlayson in 2007.

There are incredibly detailed rules for a beer mile, but in sum: beer/lap, beer/lap, beer/lap, beer/lap. There is no penalty for belching.


"I have studied the anatomy of the esophagus and the upper sphincter," Nielsen said of his preparation. Also, "I have consulted with some of the best chemical minds on the planet about the chemistry composition of beer and carbon dioxide displacement in a can."

He was rewarded with a record that few will challenge, mostly because it's kind of stupid.

"That is really painful," Nielsen said after his record. "Holy shit."