The GA Crew are back so all the Zakolites over on the twitter can get their perv back on. I am hoping that we might get a return to form and never ever have to revisit the debacle that was the Starlight Ranch (ET phone home etc). I have to say that over the summer my love of these shows took a beating when my blind naivety was absolutely shattered, hence my lengthy absence. I know most of these shows are pure hokum and even though I know most of them (looking at you Most Haunted) are a pile of dog poop (not just normal dog poop but the kind when then have eaten new food, or grass, and it stinks – blurgh) but I loves them and so I thought feck it, I’ll start watching and recapping again.

Aside: there is a new show on the Really Channel called Paranormal Investigators – utter shit, don’t waste your time.

Another aside: Why does Zak think if he talks really sloooooooooooooooooooooow I will be creeped out? I’m not; all it does is frustrate me and has me shouting ‘Come the fuck on Zak’ at the TV.

So back to GA – we are at the Colorado Gold Mine (Idaho Springs) for the start of the new series. The mine was opened in 1871 – the mine workers have called the Scooby gang in as they are claiming to see ghosts and they want help. There was a double murder at the mine and Aaron talks of a man who practised black magic – wait that isn’t Aaron it’s a miner – I swear he is the image of Aaron…………….

The warlock was called ‘uncle’ Ray Collins and Zak tells us his soul remains in that there mine. Cos Zak knows these things. Fact.

The owner of the mine is Al Mosch. Zak asks him about the murder and Al confirms that in 1959 two guys were out searching for uranium (as you do on a Sunday morning, apparently it was a thing in the 50s, who knew? Ill stick to bacon butties and catch up TV thanks). The guys left their wives in the car and they were approached by a guy called Gillespie; he went up to see the men, came back and then left. The wives waited on the husbands and when they didn’t come back they went to find them. When they did find them they had been shot through the head. Al states that numerous tourists have claimed to see 2 figures appear in the Mine. (I have been on the Googler and cant find any mention of the murders; however there are 4 unsolved cases from 1959 where 4 men were shot so it could be tied to that)

A lady called Jo is next and she is rocking a neon pink hard hat. Jo states that she has just seen an apparition and it called her name. Two other women (Michelle and Victoria) confirm that they heard “Jo, follow me”.

Zak drives up to the mine – the mine (Comstock) is not a tour mine and is a functioning mine. That could collapse. Any minute. Oh it’s a life or death mission. I am about to call bullshit but the guys then enter the mine and yes it does look about ready to collapse. Zak is 250ft in and freaking out but the women are shaming him into going deeper (ohhhhhhhhh errrrrr). They all hear a man speaking. They capture an EVP “Get out”. The Witches of Eastwick want him to go further in but Zak aint having any of it and legs it.

The guys return to the other mine ‘Phoenix’ and a miner Hank, tells them not to go to the other mine as it will collapse on them – oops too late.

We are now into Cornish folklore and the Tommy Knockers (Miners who have been trapped in caves and pound on the rocks for rescue. It is believed that the ghosts of these miners go on knocking in the mine shafts long after the victims have died. They were actually called ‘knockers’ in Cornish folklore (and Welsh) but it changed to Tommy knockers after appearing in the Hardy Boys and Stephen King’s book)

Another aside: for Cornish mining without Tommy knockers check out Poldark TV series – good old Sunday night TV.

Aaron’s twin Jim believes the mine is full of the little demons who cook bacon! Zak is perplexed by this, why Zak why? They derive from English folklore; and us English love our bacon butties – check out above my fave Sunday morning activity, so this sounds pretty much reasonable to me – little demons cooking up a full English –now that’s my kind of demon. Jim is getting arsey with Zak and I love it. Don’t take the piss out of Jim, Zak.

OH MY FUCKING GOD we now have an ‘official UFO investigator’ – Really? Are we going back there again? *bangs head on desk* The ‘expert’ states that the knockers (oh my Englishness cant cope, I want to make many innuendos about knockers now – ill try and behave) are dated as far back as 2500 bc. They were probably hanging out with the Pharaohs.

Interesting fact: Apparently when mines close, the mine owners give the knockers pink slips (P45 if you are English) to release them from the mines. This is verified on Wikipedia, that it happened once in 1956 so it must be true – ahem.

The guys meet by a babbling brook and it’s very pretty. They discuss knockers. Bet it aint the first time. Oh now I am excited as they are off to Bill Chapel’s lab. I like Bill, he satisfies my nerdiness. Bill has built a new device to capture EVP and we get a very sesame street image to show how it will work. (Fish tanks and speakers)

Zak, who is still at the mine, gets an urgent phone call from the Witches of Eastwick telling him that she believes the entity called out to her to prevent anyone getting injured by ‘caps’ (think landmines). She goes on to say that she had taken a picture of the tunnel that was empty and pitch black but now shows 2 miners – see for yourself, what do you reckon?

The Lockdown

The guys are getting ready to start the investigation and they hear snarling. They ask Hank what it is…………it’s BIGFOOT, apparently. Zak thinks it’s a bear so hides behind a tree. You can’t make this shit up; I am just waiting for Dopey, Sneezy, Grumpy and the rest to come along singing Hi bloody Ho.

Zak has his thermal cam out and there are more noises. Aaron goes back to take another look and states he has something looking at him and you can see 2 bright eyes. It’s a racoon. I am on the point of despair now.

Billy is in a tunnel in the ‘Mystery Mine’; he hears footsteps and that’s about it until he has the thermal cam on and you can clearly see a light, so he gets out the PUCK device.

These are the words he gets and I am freaked out:

Appear

Make

See

Uncle

Billy goes to show Bill what he caught. The light looks to be floating in the air. Zak suggests it’s a miner with a lantern. Bill is impressed.

Zak has the SLS camera and calls out to the knockers. They hear a knock and ask if it is the warlock Uncle Ray and in answer they hear 2 loud bangs. They continue calling out and a figure is seen on the SLS camera. Zak is giddy and repeats ‘It’s a teeny tiny figure’ (repeatedly) and is convinced it is a knocker and he is suddenly icy cold. He is convinced of it as they were told earlier that the knockers appear after you hear a knock. There’s high fives all round. Teeny tiny pleasures.

They make the way to the area where Uncle Ray’s ashes are. They have the full spectrum camera and the spirit box and call out. They hear a man’s voice and a light anomaly is seen above the spirit box and then a flash of light. Something grabs Jay’s pants.

They all meet up to use Bill’s new laser mic device; there are noises straight away and it sounds like a cave collapsing. Another noise is heard and Bill explains that it is something crossing the laser beam. Zak gets chills, they are multiplying. They then notice that the tripod legs have been bent.

And that was it. It was ok but only in a teeny tiny way.