In terms of the circles of influence, you parse through various internal and external factors that impact weight and unhealthy eating habits. What is the dividing line between those sides?

Wood: Internal factors are important because we don’t give enough credence to the fact that stress, anxiety, and depression are really driving a lot of overeating; those drivers are behind this unhealthy relationship with food that a lot of people have. Many people take an internal struggle and try to solve it by getting comfort from something that’s attainable. What we try to point out is that the links between those factors—stress, depression, anxiety, and obesity—are so strong that addressing the inherent cause of some of those things can have a benefit downstream.

That’s exactly what we did at HAPPY Heart. We recognized that those women had stress and anxiety that were off the charts, and we tried to address the major source of their angst, whether it was, “I don’t know how to balance my checkbook,” or “I’m worried about my home being foreclosed on.” Then, we gave them a forum to really discuss these things and get support from their friends to ameliorate some of the stress in their lives. In this book, we’re trying to do the same by helping people address some of these internal factors that they can manage—and obviously a chemical kind of depression would need to be managed by a professional—so that they can take steps to climb out of that dark space that overeating becomes a part of.

We feel very strongly that there has been so much guilt associated with being overweight or obese as a personal failure, that we want to open it up and say, number one, recognize that your choices reflect a web around you of many environmental factors, which are very important. Second, understand that some of those things you can change and some you can’t, and learn to recognize what you can. It’s harder to change that unless you really help them to see that this is something they have control over.

Thinfluence isn’t only geared toward people who want to become healthier, but to the family members and friends of people who want to lose weight. What is the best way to be supportive but still realistic about a friend or relative’s state of health without badgering them or shaming them? Is that even your job at all?

Wood: I think it is your job in the sense that if you have made some successful choices and you see someone who’s struggling, giving them a bit of advice or support and being there to encourage their choice improves the likelihood that they’ll be able to successfully make that choice consistently. The perfect example is someone who is a really big smoker, and you basically sit down with them and say, “Hey, I know you’re used to this, but I’m here to support you to make other changes. Not only that, but let’s think of things we can do together.” In this case, that could mean walking together or getting involved in some group exercise.

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The more people you engage in your process and the more supporters you have in your circle, I think the more likely you are to succeed. Although it’s very extreme, you see something similar in the CrossFit world. If you go to one of their gyms and talk to the people that are there, a lot of them are formerly very, very heavy people. They got into the concept of that group dynamic and were able to stick with it because there was a group of people that were going through the same thing they were going through, and sweating it out, and doing the workouts, and afterward celebrating and enjoying each other’s company. I think that kind of thing is the magic sauce.