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Who didn’t see this coming? Seriously, I tried to warn y’all that Omarosa Manigault Newman was in the White House like the friend of the guy who got drafted first round in the NBA. You know the friend whose job it is to be the friend. He’s the guy who gets paid to coordinate the sidepieces. The guy who won’t get his personal-trainer certification but believes that he and the draft pick should open a gym that he could manage. The guy who holds the weed and will take the charge for the NBA draft pick should they get busted.


Basically, Omarosa was always a White House scrub.



And now, if reports are to be believed, it turns out that the queen of villains was out here using the White House black car like her personal Uber. According to a Politico story examining all of the troubles plaguing White House chief of staff John Kelly, Omarosa was reportedly fired in November for “using the White House car service—known as ‘CARPET’—as an office pick-up and drop-off service, something strictly forbidden by the federal government.”


While the Politico story cites three administration officials as sources, who among us doesn’t believe that she did this? Wait, I have a phone call coming in from 50 Cent about the Omarosa firing:

According to Raw Story, “The White House Transportation Agency is tasked with driving, securing and maintaining the presidential motorcade for the president and his family.” It’s not to be used by the executive Diet Coke retriever—and this includes taking trips to Costco to get trunks full of presidential Diet Coke.

The agency is staffed by Army noncommissioned officers and provides around-the-clock transportation for the chief executive, not his personal liaison for Diet Cokes.


Omarosa, who is currently on her “Oh, y’all thought I was done” tour as a castmate on Celebrity Big Brother, continues to try to earn back her cookout invite by dogging the White House on national television. Not only did the former White House latchkey kid claim that the world was in trouble and note that she would never vote for President Donald Trump again, but recently she claimed that Vice President Michael Pence believes that he has a direct personal line to God and hears God’s voice telling him to do things.


Omarosa may be batshit crazy and a horrible person, but that doesn’t mean she’s wrong about Pence. I believe her, and yes, I just said that I believe Omarosa—which is clearly one of the signs that the world is coming to an end.

Make amends, people. You’ve been warned.