Many of you may have noticed that we write a lot of list-based articles here at Cracked. We have our reasons for this: They allow our busy, important readers to read them in small chunks, they're ridiculously clickable, and we just really like numbering things. But despite being so plainly intelligent and justifiable, this list-based tendency of ours has, on occasion, in the minds of some, been a cause for mockery. "Cracked can't publish anything that isn't a list," these weak-minded people say. "Did you see Cracked's newest article? 'The 6 Most Surprising Things You Didn't Know About Baffling?' they'll add, thinking they're so fucking clever. "Or was it 'The 7 Most Things?' HAHAHHAHHAHHAHA- HHAHAHAHA."

We hate these people.

But what the fuck. It's the holidays, and the only people reading Cracked right now are the diehards and search-engine aggregation spiders. So here it is, folks. "The 7 Most Things." Happy freaking holidays.