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Guy Lapointe will pull no practical jokes on anyone at the Bell Centre on Saturday, in the hours before and after his No. 5 is celebrated and ceremoniously pulled up into the arena rafters.

Or so he says.

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The thing is this, about a joker as prolific and imaginative as the man nicknamed Pointu:

Sometimes, the best practical joke is the one you never pull — while everyone is looking over their shoulder, fearing that they’ll be the victim.

Lapointe’s pranks during his 14 seasons and 777 games with the Canadiens are as legendary as the defenceman himself. They were magnificent, richly detailed whoopee cushions that were created over time and cultivated with care, or they were joy-buzzer moments worthy of grade-school recess.

“Guy Lapointe made a lot of things fun for a lot of people,” Hall of Fame goaltender and Lapointe teammate Ken Dryden said during a chat this week. “The importance of that can’t be underestimated on a team.