TURKEYS across Britain have agreed that we should stop discussing what kind of Christmas we are going to have and just get on with it.

The turkeys, who backed Christmas by an overwhelming 52 per cent margin, believe there has been too much argument already and cannot see what is delaying things.

Tom Booker, a free-range turkey living in Norfolk, said: “We’ve set the date and we’re going to bloody well see it through.

“Enough shilly-shallying. It’s not complicated. Christmas means Christmas, and we’re going to make a success of it.

“I tell you what, even the turkeys here who were against it have had enough of all the buggering about now. They want it done and dusted as much as the rest of us.

“Enough Project Fear. Bring it on. I bet it won’t be nearly as bad as everyone says.”