At times, it feels like every new technological advancement in film exhibition brings consumers one step closer to finally conquering the tyranny of leaving the house. There once was a time, children, where a body hoping to see the newest blockbuster would have to get up off the chaise-longue and actually get in a car, or worse, the subway, and physically haul his or her carcass to the moving-picture show. We sedentary Americans struck a heartening blow to arthouse theaters when indie films got wise to the potential of On Demand as a release tool and started to premiere lower-profile films directly to those content libraries. But even so, viewers unwilling to wait months for the latest tentpole release have no choice but to spoil a perfectly good immobility streak and go to the neighborhood cineplex.

But now, a new offer from a company called PRIMA Cinema seeks to hammer the final nail into the act of moving’s coffin. PRIMA now offers a service allowing consumers to stream major first-run films into the lightproof hyperbaric chambers they call home. For a one-time cost of $35,000 (that’s not a typo, the cost is for-serious thirty-five-thousand dollars), a professional can install hardware that instantaneously brings the latest releases directly to your TV. The system can only be purchased when bundled with a starter pack of 10 rentals, each of which runs for $500, totalling up to a final tally of $40,000.

While the price tag may appear to be the most ludicrous aspect of this offer, think again! In order to ensure that nobody other than the party that purchased PRIMA can access the rented films, users must swipe their thumbprint across an “angular security terminal” to authenticate their identity. Technology generally reserved for automatic doors in Area 51 or Fort Knox or wherever now enables regular folks to see Furious 7 without enduring the carnival of horrors that is their local mall.

The joke, however, is on anybody rich and resolutely immobile enough to actually drop $40,000 on a PRIMA setup. (Which is, apparently, quite a few people. This piece from The Verge mentions that the obscenely wealthy have snapped these up with no time to waste.) Didn’t they know that when you become a critic, publicity agencies will send you movies prior to release for free? That’s the only reason I pursued film criticism in the first place! I’ve saved dozens of dollars this way!