If it’s the beginning of November, then it can mean only one thing: It’s pumpkin season! Also, awards season, that time of the year when every player gets to take home a shiny trophy or two. With the finalists for the Major Awards of Great Import having been announced earlier this week, and the Silver Sluggers already handed out, it’s the best time of the year for those that don’t like baseball, but love awards for baseball achievement.

But just like the Oscars, Emmys, and Daytime Peabodys, there’s simply not enough room in the busy news cycle to give all the awards their own slot on TV. Here are the awards that had to be cut for time:

Best Hair

CJ Wilson

He’s flake free, guys. And that’s sexy.

(via Ad Age)

Best Facial Hair

Carlos Villanueva

In a year of beards, Villanueva found a way to stand out, featuring both a strong beard and exquisite mustache. This is the image of a gentleman.

(via Cut4)

Biggest Jimmy Buffet Fan

Carlos Beltran

You wouldn’t know it, but this veteran ‘Parrothead’ lists “Margaritaville,” “Cheeseburgers in Paradise,” and “Pencil Thin Mustache” as the three greatest songs of all time.

Most Awkward Player

Hunter Pence

(via McCovey Chronicles)

Worst Impression of Being a Human Being and Not an Alien

Hunter Pence

(via Bay Area Sports Guy)

Most Likely To Be That Guy Mumbling To Himself in Times Square 30 Years from Now

Hunter Pence

(via The Nosebleeds)

Most Likely to Become President:

Mike Trout.

He’s got all five tools: average, power, speed, defense, and ability to move to become a centrist during election season.

Most Likely to Be Mistaken for a Meth Addict

Jeff Karstens.

Jeff, I love you. Know this, please. But maybe think about smiling.

(via The Outside Corner)

Most Likely To Steal from a TJ Maxx or Marshall’s

Willie Bloomquist

It’s less the need to steal from TJ Maxx or JC Penney, it’s simply the thrill of getting away with it. Plus, with the hot, current styles at bargain basement prices, Bloomquist is always stylin’.

Most Sexually Suggestive Vintage Advertisement Featuring Baseball Equipment

(image via Kathy Lohgry)

Best Socks

Josh Outman

There was some late competition from Mariners shortstop Brad Miller, but in a year marred by subpar sock wearing, there was room for only one man. A man whose stirrups, according to Vin Scully, could be used as a banjo.

MVP:

This one’s kind of self explanatory.