Johnson: What would you like people to know about Christopher?

Leinonen: I like to say he loved mobility. It frustrated him when he was a baby and could only lay on his back. He just couldn’t wait to roll over, and when he could roll over, he couldn’t wait to crawl, and then he couldn’t wait to walk. Then he started driving and flying. He wanted to see more, learn more, do more, go more places.

I was happy that the Supreme Court allowed same-sex marriage. Juan was the first boyfriend he had when it was legal to get married. And so he looked at Juan differently. It was lovely as a mom to see that your child could emotionally love someone enough to consider that. It was nice to be able to see my son feel that—something I got to feel my whole life, something he never got to feel. It was just delightful. With Christopher getting shot and killed, it was nice to know as his mom that he got to feel that wonderful feeling of love before he died.

Steven Johnson: Christine mentioned she has been following the trial of the killer’s wife, in Orlando. Have you?

Brandon Wolf: No, I haven’t gone. The trial doesn’t serve me any purpose. I know that for some, it brings a sense of relief, or they want answers, or they’re looking for some sort of justice for that, but for me it doesn’t provide any of that.

Johnson: Could you walk me through that night of the shooting?

Wolf: It was a regular night with my friends, Saturday night in Orlando, and we decided we wanted to get a drink together. Midnight rolled around, and Drew, Juan, and I were in our Uber on the way to Pulse. It was crowded, and our group was a little tense. I was there, actually, with my ex—I think it was my ploy to get us back together [laughs]—so there was a little bit of tension in the group. And I think Drew could sense that. So at one point, around 1 o’clock in the morning, he took us all on the patio and said, “We need to talk.” He and Juan told us, basically, “Why do you let the small things get in the way? Why don’t you just be in love if you’re going to be in love? Why don’t you focus on the big picture instead of letting the small things get in the way?” And then Drew, being the licensed therapist that he was, brought us all in a big circle and put his arms around us. He said, “You know, what we never say enough is that we love each other, so I’m going to tell you that I love you.”

It was about an hour after that when the first shots went off. When the shooter was making his way through the dance floor for a second time, my ex and I decided to make a run for it.

Johnson: How did you experience the following days and weeks?

Wolf: The first week after Pulse was a haze. The things that are most vivid are the memorial services, the funerals for my best friends. It got a little easier over the next month or two, but there was still so much of the time that was filled with grief and pain. And I think the only outlet that I found was talking about it. And committing myself to ensuring that no one else has to go through what Drew and Juan went through. That’s why I’ve really been passionate about being an activist, and an advocate. Because I want to ensure that no one has to feel what they felt, what I felt. I think that helps me heal, maybe.