When I was choosing a name for this blog, I wanted something that described who I was but didn't necessarily limit me to only writing in certain niches. I settled on “Independent Idealist” because, ultimately, this is the identity that I’ve come to accept over the years while trying to “find my true self.” I’ve taken many personality quizzes in my life, and the Myers-Briggs test (or at least the free ones online) have always given me this result: INFP.

If you’re familiar with this type, we tend to be called a variety of things: The Healer, The Dreamer, or The Idealist. These are the ones that I’ve grown accustomed to seeing over the years, and in that span of time, I’ve had many friends tell me similar things about who I am. Of course, who I feel that I am has always been up for contention ever since I was a teenager. Struggling to find my purpose, figuring out where I stand in the world, and seeking out something or someone that resonates deep within me… these are common traits among this type, from what people say.

The funny part is, whenever you go to the descriptors for an INFP, especially in the areas of financial or career outlook, it’s bleak. INFPs are among the most dissatisfied with their work, they are ranked among the lowest when it comes to income but highest when it comes to suicide rate. I’ve never personally been suicidal, but I can certainly empathize with those who have. I mean, when you feel as though there’s nothing you can do to express who you are in the world, when no one understands your loneliness and pain, and when reality doesn’t align with the fantasy in our heads, it’s no surprise.

However, for those of you who haven’t figured out your place in the world yet, don’t fret. I was once extremely insecure about my body, my money, and my friendships with others. In some ways, at some times, those insecurities come back. I’ve found ways of being more comfortable with it in the past few years, though, and I want to share how I’ve done that.