It’s a simple procedure, but there are loads of people who do it wrong.

Are you that guy?

No?

Really…?

Well you might be.

First off, if you don’t fix your pitch mark immediately, you’re a selfish so-and-so. Sorry but it’s true. It can take 3-4 weeks for a pitch mark to repair itself whereas if you do it straight away it only takes 24 hours. Why? The hole collects water, grows fungus and dies, or the exposed roots get more sunburnt than a Scotsman on holiday and are scorched beyond recognition. And if you fix your pitch the wrong way, you can pull up and break the roots killing the grass anyway. So don’t be a jerk, just fix it quick and fix it right.

Poke, Push, Twist & Smooth

Like the perfect way to torture a sibling, or something out of 50 Shades of Grey, you’ve got to poke, push and twist the outer edges of the pitch mark to make a correct repair.

Now stand back and admire your work. Congratulate yourself on ‘not being a jerk’.

Then get off the green, someone is probably waiting to hit in.

NOTE: Do not Poke, Push & Lift — if it sounds like bad plastic surgery, it’ll most likely have the same disfiguring effect on the green. Poking in your pitch repair tool, levering up middle of the hole and pushing it back down is as useless as nipples on a man, and it tears up the roots of the grass leaving a dead spot where the hole was. Don’t do it.

And if you see someone else’s pitch mark, don’t do a Dufner and just sit there, fix it. It’s good for your golf karma.