Photo by Erin Pearlman www.erinpearlman.com

This past year two high school boys on Long Island had an after school fight over a lady.

And tragically, during the fight, one of the high school boys stabbed the other high schooler to death over said lady.

And even more tragically, over fifty other high schoolers witnessed the murder and did nothing to stop it.

And even more tragically, dozens of high schoolers filmed the murder with their cell phones.

And even more tragically, the lady they were fighting over, is probably having sex with another guy by now. For a couple reasons. One, you can’t have sex with a dead guy, and two, you can’t have sex with a guy who’s in prison for murder. Those are two dudes society won’t let you have sex with.

This type of stuff didn’t happen when I was a kid. Because when I was a kid, we had mentors. I’ll tell you about a mentor we had when I was a kid. When I was a kid, we had a mentor named Dr. Dre. Dr. Dre was a singer that came out with an album of songs for children called “The Chronic” album. And on that album was a song called “Bitches Ain’t Shit”. And every kid at the time knew the lyrics to the song “Bitches Ain’t Shit”. And so whenever two high school fellas were about to fight over a lady, a third fella would quickly yell out, “Guys, please don’t fight over that lady. Please instead remember what our mentor Dr. Dre taught us. Bitches ain’t shit.” And then the other two guys who were about to fight would go, “Oh yeah! Bitches ain’t shit!” And then all three guys would ride away on their huffy bikes together to Dairy Queen to go bro out instead.

And thus another life was saved by Dr. Dre. That’s why he’s a doctor.