WhatApp for the win!

I am part of 23 WhatsApp groups.

Now, this sentence can get either of two possible reactions.

Reaction #1: 23? Pfft. I’m part of at least 50 groups. I’m way more of a stud than you, girl.

Reaction #2: Oh my gosh, 23 is way too much! How do you keep up with so many?

WhatsApp is very much a part of our daily routines. In fact, according to a website, WhatsApp is the most used Android app in India. So, I’m guessing by now you know how invested we are in it. But if there is one thing that is slightly annoying about using the app, it’s the numerous WhatsApp groups we all are a part of! Don’t deny it, you’re secretly thinking the same thing too. And if you’re a private person, you would have most probably disabled your ‘Last Seen’ and your ‘Read Receipts’, but that doesn’t apply to groups.

Bummer, huh? I know the feeling.

So, sit back and get ready to relate to everything I’m about to say here. And after you’re done, I bet the first thing you’re going to do is open WhatsApp and be completely shocked at the accuracy with which I’ve just described every single group of yours. If I’ve missed any, please feel free to comment and let me know! :)

Okay, here we go!

1. THE QUINTESSENTIAL FAMILY GROUPS

This is an obvious one. Every one of us will have at least 3–4 groups dedicated to just family.

A group that has all your immediate family members. (Parents+Siblings)

A group with all the family members on your mother’s side.

A group with all the family members on your father’s side.

A group generically called ‘Cousins’.

Any family group will most likely have that one person whose sole purpose is to just send forwards. These forwards can be ‘Good Morning’ messages, ‘Top 5 Healthy Foods’ messages, messages involving current news, messages on the importance of Yoga and my favourite, ‘Forward this to 10 people or you will die’ messages. *facepalm*

The above picture is an actual depiction of what my family send in the group. (PS: I’m not bashing my family here. We do have other normal conversations as well.)

Confession: I’m the type of person who doesn’t download any unnecessary videos or photos being sent but still cocky enough to comment on them, even though I might have no clue as to what they’re about. This applies to every group, not just the family group. *sheepish grin*

2. THE COLLEGE/SCHOOL GROUP

This is the second most obvious group which can be found in any WhatsApp chat list. If you’re a college student like me, then you most definitely will have THE CLASS GROUP, which might be one of the most awesome groups you will ever be a part of. Now, each class group will definitely have at least one or two of the following types of people.

The troller or the meme guy, whose main job is to make troll videos and photos of everybody in the group. This guy is most active when it’s someone’s birthday or when someone gets in a new relationship or if a girl rides on a bike with a guy, when he clearly has nothing better to do. But, all said and done, it’s all harmless fun and it always puts a smile on our faces. :)

The political party guy whose solution to any trivial conflict is, “We will go on strike until our demands are met!”.

The class nerds, who are the real heroes, because they are the ones who send the answers to the assignments. You guys are the real MVPs.

The sports guys, who live and breathe either cricket or football. These are the guys you do not want to argue with, trust me. They will drag you down.

The ‘I slept through it all’ person, who wakes up to 467 messages in the group and is completely clueless on what the discussion is about.

I’m sure there are many, many more and if I’ve missed any, do let me know!

3. THE HANGOUT PLANS GROUP

This group is made by that one person in your friend circle who feels the only way to arrange a meet-up is to immediately create a group, even if the group only has 3 people in it. Inevitably, too many plans are made and more often than not, those plans never happen. Which is why I have come to the conclusion that these so-called “hangout plans groups” are cursed. It should be renamed cemetery because it’s the place where plans go to die. (Okay, that joke was a bit of a stretch.)

“Which place is cheap but also good?”

“Let’s go somewhere no one has gone before.”

“Oh no, not there. It’s too far for me.”

“Guys, it might rain tomorrow. Do we really have to go?”

“Okay fine. Let’s cancel. We’ll meet some other time.”

Silence.

And then, that group goes to the bottom of your chat list and gets active maybe once or twice a year. Been there, done that.

4. THE “BEST BUDS/HOMIES FOR LIFE” GROUP

This is that group which holds all the deepest, darkest secrets of all of its members. This is the group you can’t imagine leaving for any reason whatsoever. This is the group you voluntarily send your goofy selfies and funny videos to. Everything said here is unfiltered and uncensored. Trust is the foundation of this group.

Now, don’t get me wrong. There will be days when this group is inactive, or as we like to call it, “dead”. But, on the bright side, you can be certain that it’ll become active the minute anyone sends absolutely anything. And that’s why this group is kind of like the #goals for the other groups.

5. THE “LET’S GO TO GOA!!?!” GROUP

Don’t deny it, most of you know exactly what I’m talking about. On one drunken night, you and your friends, completely free of inhibitions, plan the most amazing and adventurous Goa trip in the history of Goa trips and you immediately make a group and you name it either “Goa, Here We Come!”, “THE GOA TRIP!” or “Brooo!! Goa B)”. (You can probably come up with much better group names.)

Then, when morning comes, everybody is hungover and is clueless on the whole Goa idea. So then what happens? The dream Goa trip becomes a part of their extravagant “We got so drunk!” story and it just becomes a permanent fixture in their chat list, no one actually leaving the group but just randomly asking “When are we going, man?”, knowing fully well that the probability of them making it to Goa is almost null.

6. THE “ME” GROUP

This isn’t so much a group as it is a space where all your random thoughts are sent before you forget them. It’s basically a “group” with just one member: you. The things sent to this group can be literally anything, like

Grocery list that your mother gave you.

The balance you have in your account.

Deadline for a particular assignment or project.

“Fill petrol on your way tomorrow.”

Songs which you heard on the radio, taking down as many lyrics you understood so that you can later go home and Google it, praying you find the song you wanted.

Random alphabet messages, just for the sole purpose of using the ‘Delete For Everyone’ option.

Your own audio recordings, to assess how your voice sounds.

I’m sure you get the idea.

7. THE COMMON INTEREST GROUP

“Hala Madrid!!”

“Viva Brazil”

“YNWA”

“Whistle Podu”

“Potterheads For Life!”

“Hardcore Marvel Fans”

“Live and Breathe GoT!”

The common interest group is where people from different backgrounds join together to share their common love for something. It can be a fandom or a book club or simply a “Cute Babies” group, where random baby pictures are shared. (If there’s a group like this out there, please add me.)

8. THE DEAD GROUP

You don’t know how it got there, but there is always that one group which finds its way to the bottom of the list almost instantly. It’s so unused that the ‘You were added’ message might be the only activity the group has witnessed.

The most annoying part of being a member of such a group is that no one tries to revive it but at the same time, nobody leaves it either. It’s like that big pimple on your face; you don’t particularly like it but you have to live with it nonetheless.

And on the off chance that someone DOES message in the group, you might be thinking, “Oh my gosh! Did someone die? Is anybody sick? Is he getting married? I’m confused.”

9. THE TABOO GROUP

Ever noticed your friends tense up when you casually scroll through their chat list? This is because they might be part of some controversial group that they don’t want you to know anything about, a group that might completely tarnish their carefully-built reputation in just seconds. Now, this taboo group can be different for different people: a sworn Marvel fan who has a secret “DC FOREVER!” group; a quiet, bookish girl who has a “EVERY NIGHT IS A VEGAS NIGHT” group; the popular cheerleader in a “Math Geeks” group.

The existence of such a taboo group is why many users have an app lock for WhatsApp. If only there was an incognito mode for WhatsApp as well. *eyes-covering monkey emoji insert here*

10. THE ? GROUP

Now, this is where you, the reader, suggests any more groups that I might have forgotten. I’m sure there are several others I have missed and I’m open to suggestions. Maybe it can be an all-boys/all-girls group, an office group, an elective subject group, a prayer forwards group, a university group, a music band group, a study group, an alumni group, a language group where the group admin teaches a particular language to the rest of the members et al.

*Ding* You have a new WhatsApp notification.

*Opens WhatsApp*

*So-and-so has added you.*

*You are now a group admin.*

Ahh. The cycle continues.