Eight arguments against the LDS Church being labeled as a “cult”:

8. Cults tend to operate out of sight; LDS temples will soon outnumber Starbucks.

7. Cults use mind-control techniques that are subtle and sophisticated, two approaches foreign to KSL and the Deseret News.

6. Cults sing songs like “Don’t Fear the Reaper” between buffets in Wendover (Blue Ö yster Cults only).

5. Cults separate you from relatives; Mormons force members to hang out with their families.

4. Cults demand excessive financial donations; the LDS Church only asks for 10 percent … forever.

3. Cults are difficult to leave alive; annoying ex-Mormons are everywhere.

2. Cults adhere to strict, uniform dress codes; LDS standards range all the way from modest to Old Navy.

1. Cults have charismatic, dynamic leaders.