The FA have confirmed that this season’s FA Cup final between Arsenal and Chelsea will be played at Wembley Stadium, kicking off at 17.30.

This has become the default start time for the final in recent years, moving away from the traditional 3pm kick-off that so many of us grew up with.

Fans lucky enough to get tickets will be treated to the show of a lifetime, which will include:

Terrible pop music played really loudly

Faux atmosphere

Balloons

Fireworks

a VERY SHOUTY ANNOUNCER guy

Overpriced food and drink

A programme that costs as much as I paid for my first car

Terrible transport links and ridiculous queues for trains

Massive hype from BT Sport and the BBC

The possibility of Chris Sutton and Robbie Savage on TV

Oh, and a football match, but that’s by the by.

The final will take place on Saturday, May 27th – the day after Friday May 26th which happens to be the landmark 28th anniversary of Anfield 89, and the day before Sunday, May 28th which is being marketed as Ibuprofen Sunday, because whatever happens there are going to be some sore heads.