Texas has a Lt. Governor named Dan Patrick, but that’s not his real name. He legally changed his name from Dannie Goeb to Dan Patrick so he might could grow up and be a famous sports announcer like … uh, sports announcer Dan Patrick.

I considered changing my name to Marilyn Monroe because I figured everybody wanted to say they were friends of Marilyn Monroe. I decided against it because people would think I was nuts to change my name just for the helluva it. You know, like Dan Patrick.

So, I’m telling you this because Dan Patrick has some crazybutt friends. Mean ole floozies. And he named them to an advisory committee to advise him on state policy.

One by one, they are getting famous for being mean.

The good people of North Richland Hills have a woman of the Muslim faith working for the city. Dan Patrick’s advisor promptly insulted her.

In an online newsletter, Tea Party President Julie White McCarty, an adviser to Lt. Gov. Dan Patrick, called the city employee a “lost soul” who should “learn about Jesus.” “She’s in America now,” McCarty wrote. The employee is a native born in Fort Worth.

To the everlasting credit of the city of North Richland Hills, they are mad enough to spit nails.Just to let you know about this particular Tea Party group that Dan Patrick thinks so highly of …



The group has moved often across Northeast Tarrant County, gathering lately in a Southlake private school and a Hurst meeting hall. (For months, the group met in a Lutheran church in Bedford. But that ended about the time McCarty wrote on social media that voters should support Southern Baptists but not United Methodists.)

No, seriously, she’s an advisor to the Lt. Governor of Texas.

He should have changed his name to Bubba Total Jerk.