This strange — but insane — tale begins with Erick Erickson wandering the aisles of a Safeway supermarket. He’s accompanied by a Republican congressman who regularly appears on Fox News to defend President Donald Trump.

“If we’re going to lose because of him, we might as well impeach the motherfucker,” the unnamed congressman told Erickson.

That’s according to a new post from the conservative commentator, who wrote about his encounter with “[one] of the President’s congressional defenders” who “has privately decided he hates Trump and wants to unload.”

“The congressman did not want to be seen with me on Capitol Hill,” Erickson explains. “He needed to get some stuff anyway and decided he’d let me walk with him through the cereal and dairy selections at the Safeway near my hotel.”

Erickson continues:

He is not happy with President Trump. He was never a die hard Trump supporter. He supported him in the general and never expected him to win. But he did. So the congressman, whose district Trump won, has been a regular supporter on Fox News and elsewhere defending the President. He is happy to be quoted, so long as I don’t name him. He says he just needs to vent. I suggest what we’re doing is one of the reason’s Trump won — a congressman says nice things in public and bad things in private.

“Everybody does this shit,” the congressman said.

“I read you writing about this, about wanting to say nice things when you can and criticize when you need to. He may be an idiot, but he’s still the President and leader of my party and he is capable of doing some things right,” he continued. “But dammit he’s taking us all down with him. We are well and truly fucked in November. Kevin [McCarthy] is already circling like a green fly circling shit trying to take Paul’s [Ryan] job because nobody thinks he’s sticking around for Nancy [Pelosi]. She’s going to f**k up the cafeteria again too. [Lord’s name in vain], at least I’ll probably lose too and won’t have to put up with that shit.”

“He won’t lose,” Erickson notes. “His district is very Republican.”

And then, the congressman got colorful:

“It’s like Forrest Gump won the presidency, but an evil, really fucking stupid Forrest Gump. He can’t help himself. He’s just a fucking idiot who thinks he’s winning when people are bitching about him. He really does see the world as ratings and attention. I hate Forrest Gump. I listen to your podcast and heard you hate it too. What an overrated piece of shit movie. Can you believe it beat the Shawshank Redemption?”

The congressman continued that “they just might pull the trigger if the President fires Mueller,” and that “shit will hit the fan if that happens and I’d vote to impeach him myself.”

“Most of us [Republicans] would, I think,” he added. “If we’re going to lose because of him, we might as well impeach the motherfucker. Take him out with us and let Mike [Pence] take over. At least then we could sleep well at night.”

And now for the grand f*cking finale:

“I say a lot of shit on TV defending him, even over this. But honestly, I wish the motherfucker would just go away. We’re going to lose the House, lose the Senate, and lose a bunch of states because of him. All his supporters will blame us for what we have or have not done, but he hasn’t led. He wakes up in the morning, shits all over Twitter, shits all over us, shits all over his staff, then hits golf balls. Fuck him. Of course, I can’t say that in public or I’d get run out of town.”

Read Erickson’s full account here.

[image via screengrab]

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Follow Aidan McLaughlin (@aidnmclaughlin) on Twitter

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