PROVIDENCE, R.I. — Rhode Islander David Rothermel felt uplifted two summers ago, as he and his fiancée drove home from the Cape after visiting the gravestone of a fellow Marine who was killed in action while the two served in Afghanistan in July 2009.

On that anniversary of Cpl. Nicholas G. Xiarhos' death, the couple had talked for hours in the cemetery with members of the Xiarhos family who also felt compelled to visit his final resting place.

Driving home, Dee DeQuattro wondered how to bring such comfort to others, veterans who have lost many brothers and sisters during multiple deployments in the War on Terror.

"Dee came up with this idea as a traveling memorial because the graves — when you lose 20 to 30 guys like I have — it's hard to go out and visit all their graves," said Rothermel, who has been deployed twice to Iraq and once to Afghanistan.

His fiancée was uniquely qualified to take action. The daughter of the man who founded Operation Stand Down 25 years ago, she's now communications and development director for the nonprofit dedicated to helping homeless and at-risk veterans find jobs and places to live.

A memorial at Fort Hood in Texas that features boots of fallen soldiers who've been stationed there offered inspiration.

DeQuattro, who lives with Rothermel in Johnston, began to think bigger: How could they create a memorial for all American soldiers killed in combat since Sept. 11?

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On a rainy Friday morning we are at the Boots on the Ground Memorial for Heroes where Goldstar mothers are placing boots for their fallen children.

Posted byThe Providence Journal on Friday, May 26, 2017

Fast forward through the years and thousands of volunteer hours, by veterans, their families and others, including local Gold Star families.

This weekend, the second Boots on the Ground for Heroes Memorial is on display through Monday at the Temple to Music in Roger Williams Park.

The 6,857 military boots in precise rows are alphabetized according to soldiers' home states. Each boot holds a picture and details of one soldier killed since Sept. 11.

The Boots on the Ground team will keep working toward their larger goal: Find a way for this memorial to travel around the country.

"It's so much bigger than us," DeQuattro said.

It's a way to remind people, she says, of the true message of Memorial Day:

"While everyone else is at a barbecue or a picnic, remember it's not Happy Memorial Day. It's actually a somber day, and you need to come out and thank these people who gave their lives so you could have a barbecue."

Sunday, 6:30 p.m.: Operation Stand Down hosts a patriotic concert at the Temple to Music memorial with the Governor's Own 88th Army National Guard Band. People are invited to bring picnic blankets and meals. The memorial is free to visitors all weekend, and through Monday.

CORRECTION: An earlier version of this article had the incorrect name of the band performing on Sunday.

— kbramson@providencejournal.com

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