If you asked me seven months ago if I thought I would be hiking to the top of a mountain alone, resting my camera on a rock pile I had erected, setting the timer, and taking pictures of myself doing yoga. I would have liked to have believed you, but probably would not have.

My entire life — as I had known it the past 4 years — vanished into thin air at 5pm on June 21st, 2013. Thoughts of sunbeams, beach towels, & bikinis hung in the bright June air. It was the first day of summer, and that Friday afternoon became a monumental shift for me. My job at a cool digital creative agency had run it’s course, and along with that, came the loss of my close friend circle. It’s safe to say that I lost a lot in a very short period of time. Basically overnight, my life as I knew it had ceased to exist. It’s a very humbling, and scary situation to be in. Imagine losing your income, and support group, in the same transaction?

Little did I know this would be one of the greatest events to ever happen to me.

I came to yoga from a place where my close friends put me down. They called me stupid. They made fun of me in front of whoever, and whomever was around. There was no end to their harsh words. Even when I broke down and pleaded with them to treat me better, nothing changed. It was devastating to think the people closest to me were capable of treating me with such contempt, and without an iota of regret.

I worked at a company where multiple people told me: The way I would succeed is if I never spoke up or interrupted, and did whatever I was told and asked of.

For minor infractions, I was pulled outside and berated to within an inch of my life. “Who told you to do this? Who gave you permission to upload project ‘x,’ or, “How could you forget to do ‘y’? This may not mean anything to you, but this is our livelihood. Don’t fuck this up.” It felt as though someone was disciplining their dog who made a mess on the carpet. When they were speaking to me, I could see them rolling up an imaginary newspaper, raising it above high above their head — and with their words — deliver soul crushing blows. To the likes I had never experienced in my life. I have never felt so small.

I did not particularly care for their advice, which is why I am no longer there.

“Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions, small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.”

- Mark Twain

This advice did resonate with me:

“It had long since come to my attention that people of accomplishment rarely sat back and let things happen to them, they went out and happened to things.” — Leonardo Da Vinci

I parted ways with work. I do not harbor any ill feelings. I have learned to forgive. These circumstances happened for a reason. In having these seven months to look back and reflect, I have grown to love and understand the way things went down. I would not have wanted this to happen any other way.

I wish them the best in all their future endeavors. I believe in them now — just as much — as I did when I first started. What I do not agree with, was how they treated me. No one deserves to be bullied and treated the way I was, period.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.”

— Mahatma Gandhi

I was hurt deeper than I led anyone to believe. Deeper than I even knew myself.

I’m sharing this because I have to get these feelings out. It’s for no one other than myself. I will not carry this burden any longer. I do not care what the outcome of sharing this story will bring. I might lose people in my life because of it. If anyone is willing to take a blind eye to this type of treatment and behavior, then they do not need to be in my life either.

A wise soul imparted this knowledge upon me along my travels:

“You have friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends forever.”

When I understood this, everything changed. I was able to recognize certain relationships for what they were, and began my process of healing.

I decided to not contact people anymore. If they still wanted to be friends, then they could text or call.

To this day, not one of those people have contacted me.

I had a dear friend in the hospital who suffered from a brain hemorrhage recently, and I was terrified of losing her. My friends knew this person meant a lot to me, but that was not enough for them to reach out. I will not stick around to find out what eventually will.

“Old friends pass away, new friends appear. It is just like the days. An old day passes, a new day arrives. The important thing is to make it meaningful: a meaningful friend — or a meaningful day.”

Dalai Lama

I started my yoga practice seven months ago, and it saved my life. It has changed me in ways — both mentally and physically — that have led me to hiking red rock mountains alone, and having adventures people could only dream of. I have lost 40lbs, and can now say I’m healthy and fit. I’ve never been happier in my life. Yoga has taught me to endure being alone, to engage in self-love, and believe in myself again. It has shown me to be confident in my creative energies.

I no longer feel less than, and I’ve decided no one else is responsible for my happiness but myself.

I am on a new path. One in which going up that mountain has come to represent. No longer will I put the wants and needs of friends before my own. I will not tolerate being treated poorly. I will not wake up every morning for seven months with tears trickling down the side of my face, mourning the loss of relationships that no longer serve me.

I am done with that.

To me, going up that mountain has come to signify a drastic change in me. It is the end of who I was. I left my former life on top of that mountain. The change that happened within me on February 13th, 2014 at 5pm when I took those yoga photos. It was a shift on to the focus of who I will become.

I am dedicating my life to my yoga practice, and it’s ability to heal & change.

“Yoga is a light, which once lit, will never dim. The better your practice, the brighter the flame.”

— B.K.S. Iyengar

“Change is not something we should fear. Rather, it is something that we should welcome. For without change, nothing in this world would ever grow or blossom, and no one in this world would ever move forward to become the person they’re meant to be.”

— B.K.S. Iyengar

With yoga, I want to inspire others to take action in their lives. To leave things that no longer serve them. If need be, I encourage people to find their inner strength and consciously walk away completely. Practice yoga, and you will only be alone as long as it takes you to heal. Whether you’re 15 or 50. The gift of yoga is beautiful, and for everyone.

I will let my personal vibrations and intuition guide me to those who will be able to answer my questions, and quell my conflicts. The more my personal vibration intensifies the more I will pull people into my life who carry messages for me. It is a universal law.

“Om Tare Tuttare Ture Soha”

Tibetan Buddhist Green Tara Mantra. To protect from external and internal dangers.

Yoga has become much more than a physical practice for me. It is the unification of the mind, body and soul. It is a fit vehicle for healing and change. I am proud to call myself a Yogi, and honored to be sharing this experience with all of you.

I have no problem being vulnerable in order to share my story of transformation with others. Whether it’s an intimate setting like we have here; Speaking in front of thousands of people; Or, even in front of tens of thousands of people — linked arm-to-arm — with Oprah and Deepak Chopra. I welcome that challenge from the universe.

“My soul honors your soul. I honor the place in you where the entire universe resides. I honor the light, love, beauty, truth, and peace within you, because it is also within me. In sharing these things we are united, we are the same, we are one.”

— Namaste

“This is the first day of the rest of my life. I will go out and happen to things.”