1. If you set a thing down, it just stays there.

2. You could die and people might not find your body for weeks.

3. There is no dissemination of responsibility. Also there is no responsibility.

4. You will feel the need to explain why you live alone so people don’t think you are a sociopath.

5. You must play music all the time. The quiet is when the weird creeps in.

6. You may feel like someone could break in and kill you at any moment, and in some ways you’re right.

7. No one ever knows where you are. Usually you are home.

8. Your fridge may just have hummus and four kinds of beer, and I guess that’s okay.

9. Things you won’t just have, unless you go out of your way to buy them yourself: band-aids, q-tips, mayonnaise, dryer sheets.

10. Accept the fact that you will never know which day the trash and recycling is picked up.

11. You will be acutely aware of the amount of water and electricity you consume; it is alarming.

12. Try leading double lives, or triple lives, even. Quadruple is pushing it.

13. You’re either vastly weird or painfully boring when alone. You’re going to learn this The Hard Way.

14. If you leave empty bottles from multiple cases of beer out, it can look like you just had an awesome party if you play your cards right.

15. You are not an adult, nor will you be any time in the foreseeable future. Embrace that.

16. Life without furniture builds character.

17. Is it cold enough to turn the heat on? How do you know?

18. Spice it up! Buy some candles.

19. Sandwiches.