(CNN) It was once said, "religion is designed to comfort the afflicted and to afflict the comfortable."

Jesus' parables -- short stories with moral lessons -- were likewise designed to afflict, to draw us in but leave us uncomfortable. These teachings can be read as being about divine love and salvation, sure. But, their first listeners -- first century Jews in Galilee and Judea -- heard much more challenging messages.

Only when we hear the parables as Jesus' own audience did can we fully experience their power and find ourselves surprised and challenged today. Here are four examples of Jesus' teachings that everybody gets wrong:

The 'Parable of the Prodigal Son'

This parable is usually seen as a story of how our "Father in heaven" loves us regardless of how despicable our actions. This is a lovely message, and I would not want to dismiss it.

It is not, however, what first-century Jews would have heard. Jesus' Jewish audience already knew that their "Father in heaven" was loving, forgiving, and compassionate. It is Luke who sets up a message of repenting and forgiving. Luke prefaces our parable with two shorter ones: the Parables of the Lost Sheep and the Lost Coin.

The evangelist concludes them with, "There will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous persons who need no repentance."

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But is this really what the parables are about? Jesus was not talking about ovine sin or coinage cupidity; sheep don't feel guilty and coins don't repent. Moreover, the man loses the sheep; the woman loses her coin. But God does not "lose us."

The first two parables are not about repenting and forgiving. They are about counting: The shepherd noticed one sheep missing out of 100, and the woman noticed one coin missing from 10.

And they searched, found, rejoiced, and celebrated. In doing so, they set up the third parable. The Prodigal Son story begins: "There was a man who had two sons ... "

If we focus on the one prodigal son, we mishear the opening. Every biblically literate Jew would know that if there are two sons, go with the younger: Abel over Cain, Isaac over Ishmael, Jacob over Esau, Ephraim over Manasseh.

But parables never go the way we want. We cannot identify with junior, who "squandered all he had in dissolute living."

Next, if we see the father as surprising when he welcomes junior home, we mishear again. Dad is simply delighted that junior has returned: He rejoices and throws a party. If we stop here, we've failed to count. The older brother -- remember him? -- hears music and dancing. Dad had enough time to hire the band and the caterer, but he never searched for his older son. He had two sons, and he didn't count.

Our parable is less about forgiving and more about counting, and making sure everyone counts. Whom have we lost? If we don't count, it may be too late.

The 'Parable of the Good Samaritan'

Our usual understanding of this famous story goes astray in several ways. Here are two.

First, readers presume that a priest and Levite bypass the wounded man because they are attempting to avoid becoming "unclean." Nonsense.

All this interpretation does is make Jewish Law look bad. The priest is not going up to Jerusalem where purity would be a concern -- he is "going down" to Jericho. No law prevents Levites from touching corpses, and there are numerous other reasons why ritual purity is not relevant here.

Jesus mentions priest and Levite because they set up a third category: Israelite. To mention the first two is to invoke the third. If I say, "Larry, Moe ..." you will say "Curly." However, to go from priest to Levite to Samaritan is like going from Larry to Moe to Osama bin Laden.

Photos: Christianity's revered (and bizarre) relics The blood of Saint Januarius – The vessel held here by Pope Francis is said to contain the dried blood of Saint Januarius. The vial is kept in Italy's Naples Cathedral. It's brought out three times a year for prayer ceremonies, during which it is said to liquefy. However, the blood doesn't always assume its liquid state -- as was the case on December 16, 2016. According to legend, that could foreshadow disaster in the coming year. To learn more about the evidence behind Christian relics, artifacts and the historical Jesus, watch CNN's original series "Finding Jesus," Sunday nights at 9 ET/PT. Hide Caption 1 of 12 Photos: Christianity's revered (and bizarre) relics The tongue of Saint Anthony – Saint Anthony, often invoked by Catholics when they've lost something, is buried at the Basilica of Saint Anthony in Padua, Italy. The church also houses a large reliquary containing his tongue. According to church legend, when Saint Anthony's body was exhumed years after his death, most of his body had turned to dust. His tongue, however, is said to have appeared moist and alive. Hide Caption 2 of 12 Photos: Christianity's revered (and bizarre) relics The bones of Saint Peter – Pope Francis holds a box -- found in a tomb beneath Saint Peter's Basilica in Vatican City -- which the Catholic Church claims contains the bones of Saint Peter. The relics were first discovered in the 1940s, but Pope Francis put them on display to the public for the first time in 2013. Hide Caption 3 of 12 Photos: Christianity's revered (and bizarre) relics The True Cross – Over the years, countless supposed fragments of the cross on which Jesus was crucified have turned up. Historians say the spread of these relics can be traced to Saint Helena, the mother of Emperor Constantine, the first Roman emperor to convert to Christianity. Helena traveled to Jerusalem and while there, excavators working for her discovered three crosses buried beneath a temple. It's claimed that, through a miraculous revelation, Helena was able to discern which of the crosses was the "true cross." She left one piece of it in Jerusalem and took the rest to Europe. Hide Caption 4 of 12 Photos: Christianity's revered (and bizarre) relics The head of Saint Catherine of Siena – Saint Catherine of Siena was known for her miraculous visions and her work helping the sick and poor. Today visitors to the city can see a slightly macabre memorial to her. More than 600 years after her death, Saint Catherine's head remains on display at the Basilica of San Domenico. Hide Caption 5 of 12 Photos: Christianity's revered (and bizarre) relics The Shroud of Turin – The shroud is believed by many Christians to be the burial shroud of Jesus -- but science suggests otherwise . Carbon dating indicates it dates to the 13th or 14th century. The cloth is regarded by the scientifically minded as a medieval forgery. Hide Caption 6 of 12 Photos: Christianity's revered (and bizarre) relics The Veil of Veronica – Legend has it that as Jesus was being led to the hill where he was crucified, Saint Veronica encountered him. She used a cloth to wipe the sweat and blood from his face, and the veil was supposedly imprinted with his image. The existence of the veil has never been proven or disproven -- but there are a number of copies and purported originals scattered across Europe. Hide Caption 7 of 12 Photos: Christianity's revered (and bizarre) relics The crown of thorns – According to the Bible, a crown of thorns was placed on Jesus' head before his crucifixion. Today a number of relics of the crown are venerated by Christians. The one pictured above is held in Paris' Notre Dame Cathedral. Hide Caption 8 of 12 Photos: Christianity's revered (and bizarre) relics The Holy Lance – According to the Gospel of John, a Roman soldier pierced Jesus' side with a spear during his crucifixion. A number of relics purporting to be the tip of this "Holy Lance" have surfaced throughout history. Also known as the "Spear of Destiny" and supposedly bestowing supernatural powers on its owner, there are at least three relics at different locations that claim to be part of the original. Hide Caption 9 of 12 Photos: Christianity's revered (and bizarre) relics The Sudarium of Oviedo – Meaning "sweat cloth" in Latin, the Sudarium of Oviedo is a bloodstained piece of cloth that was allegedly used to wrap the head of Jesus after his crucifixion. Today, the relic is kept in a chest in the Cathedral of San Salvador in Oviedo, Spain. Hide Caption 10 of 12 Photos: Christianity's revered (and bizarre) relics The Sancta Camisia – Chartres is home to one of Europe's most stunning Gothic cathedrals. The church also houses one of Christianity's most venerated relics --The Sancta Camisia. The tunic is said to have been worn by the Virgin Mary during Jesus' birth. Hide Caption 11 of 12 Photos: Christianity's revered (and bizarre) relics The head of John the Baptist – According to the Bible, Herod Antipas ordered John the Baptist's beheading after his step-daughter, Salome, requested it be presented to her on a platter. But what became of John's head? Some claim it's held at the Basilica of Saint Sylvester the First in Rome. Other traditions place it in France or the Middle East. Hide Caption 12 of 12

That analogy leads us to the second misreading.

The parable is often seen as a story of how the oppressed minority -- immigrants, gay people, people on parole -- are "nice" and therefore we should check our prejudices. Samaritans, then, were not the oppressed minority: They were the enemy. We know this not only from the historian Josephus, but also from Luke the evangelist.

Just one chapter before our parable, Jesus seeks lodging in a Samaritan village, but they refuse him hospitality.

Moreover, Samaria had another name: Shechem. At Shechem, Jacob's daughter Dinah is raped or seduced by the local prince. At Shechem, the murderous judge Abimelech is based. We are the person in the ditch, and we see the Samaritan. Our first thought: "He's going to rape me. He's going to murder me."

Then we realize: Our enemy may be the very person who will save us. Indeed, if we simply ask "where is Samaria today?" we can see the import of this parable for the Israeli/Palestinian crisis.

The 'Parable of the Laborers in the Vineyard'

This parable tells the story of a series of workers who come in at different points of the day, but the owner pays them all the same amount. The parable is sometimes read with an anti-Jewish lens, so that the first-hired are the "Jews" who resent the gentiles or the sinners entering into God's vineyard. Nonsense again.

Jesus' first listeners heard not a parable about salvation in the afterlife but about economics in present. They heard a lesson about how the employed must speak on behalf of those who lack a daily wage.

They also discovered a prompt for people with resources: Attend to those who do not have jobs, and make sure everyone has what is needed.

Jesus does not invent this idea of advocating for the unemployed and sharing resources. The same concerns occur in Jewish tradition from King David onward. But, unless we know the biblical and historical sources, again we will mishear the parable.

The 'Parable of the Pearl of Great Price'

This parable describes a man who sells everything in order to obtain his prized pearl. It is usually allegorized to tell us about the centrality of faith, or the church, or Jesus, or the Kingdom of Heaven. But commentators cannot conclude what the pearl represents. Perhaps they are looking in the wrong place.

We don't recognize the parable's initial absurdity today -- the merchant (a wholesaler who sells us what we don't need at a price we cannot afford) sells everything he has for a pearl.

He can't eat it, or sit on it; it will not cover much if it's all he wears. But, he thinks this pearl will fulfill him.

What if the parable challenges us to determine our own pearl of great price? If we know our ultimate concern, we should be less acquisitive. We won't sweat the small stuff. More, we become better able to love our neighbors, because we will know what is most important to them.

Jesus' short stories provoke us because they tell us what, somehow, we already know to be true, but don't want to acknowledge.

I am not a Christian, but I hear profound messages in these parables. If I as an outsider can be so moved by Jesus' stories, surely people who worship him as Lord and Savior can appreciate them even more.