A 'gently used' SpaceX rocket is for sale on Craigslist. 'Bring your own tug boat'

In the market for a "gently used" SpaceX orbital rocket?

Perhaps looking for a new lawn ornament? A real conversation starter? Planning ahead for Christmas?

Oh boy, do I have the deal for you ...

Someone has listed a gently used orbital launch vehicle for sale on Craigslist for $9.9 million, "or best offer." Good news, the "seller" accepts cryptocurrency, so you finally have an excuse to use those Bitcoin profits.

And this sucker is a beaut. It's fully loaded! "Take off and land anywhere!" Who needs Happy Honda Days or Toyotathon when you can start your morning commute with 9X Merlin engines! And you all thought self-driving cars were the futures ... SMH.

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"Gently used orbital rocket in good condition. Fully loaded with onboard flight computer, launch and landing hardware. Take off and land anywhere! 9X Merlin engines each capable of producing 200k lb.ft of thrust. Just fuel it up and it's ready to go," the seller wrote on the Craigslist ad.

There are some flaws, though, for transparency's sake.

It does say "Falcon 9" on the body, but the "slight burnt paint can be buffed out."

Unfortunately, there is no shipping available for this item. Prepare to pick it up in Port Canaveral. Oh, and the seller reminds us, "must bring own tug boat."

"Do not lowball, this is an orbital capable autonomous rocket. You will not find another one like it," the post states.

Serious buyers only.

FLORIDA TODAY has attempted to reach the seller, but hasn't heard back yet.

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Contact trends reporter and columnist Jessica Saggio at JSaggio@floridatoday.com, 321-242-3664 or follow her on Twitter @JessicaJSaggio. And no, I don't have a tug boat you can borrow. Why buy a tug boat? It just means all your friends will ask you for favors.