Many new Sugar Babies find themselves wanting the Chanel bags and stacks of cash, but completely baffled when it doesn’t happen for them. Truth be told, plenty of SBs are setting themselves up for failure.

Positioning yourself for success in the Sugar Bowl means avoiding rookie mistakes. My best advice? Be patient while building the foundation for scoring a Sugar Daddy allowance.

Spoilers

There are two types of Sugar Daddies in this world: the spoilers, and the supporters. Spoilers can be great. Luxury dates, designer gifts, five-star travel, and everything paid for is surely nothing to sneeze at. Spoilers, however, do not want to support you. They may give a small allowance, or not give one at all.

“But Brook, why are these men allowed on SA if they aren’t going to pay my bills? There should be some sort of filter! Who are these cheapo Salt Daddies?!?” Calm tf down. Sugar comes in many forms… powdered, brown, dextrose. Maybe he’s not your brand, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t belong on the site. Sugar is a lifestyle, not a business transaction. There are plenty of SBs out there picking up what he’s putting down, regardless of whether you’re one of them.

Supporters

The true whale Daddies on the other hand are willing to gift and spoil, and pay your bills. The key to finding a supporter is patience, and also directness without being rude. Catching one of these men is going to be somewhat rare, but nevertheless completely possible if you stay persistent and follow these golden rules.

Rule #1: What do you want?

You need to go into the Sugar Bowl with your finances in a spreadsheet, and an ideal dollar amount in mind for your perfect arrangement. I get questions all the time asking “Is $XX enough?” The answer is I HAVE NO CLUE. What do you need? What do you want? Figure it out and have a clear game plan in mind for when the conversation arises. The worst thing you can say is “I don’t know what I want, just trying this out.” Trust me, he doesn’t need another indecisive person in his life beating around the bush.

Rule #2: Choose Wisely

Since not every guy on SA is going to give you the $2k monthly you desire, selecting the right prospect is key. If he makes less than $250k/year, he probably can’t afford that much, and that’s on the lower end of allowances. Another option is having multiple Sugar Daddies if a smaller allowance is all they can provide. The Daddies who make less are probably on the spoiler end of the spectrum, but often offer small cash gifts.

Other clues to his Sugar potential are his hobbies and business. Travelers are more likely to have expendable income, and often want a Sugar Baby due to their hectic schedule. Make your mark someone who can actually throw down what you need.

Rule #3: The Warm Up

Whether you’re a writer, an athlete, or trying to reach orgasm, a warm up is mandatory for peak performance. This also applies to Sugar dating. The first thing you need to do is feel him out, warm him up with your wit and cute pictures, and figure out if he’s irritates you. Unless he mentions the allowance, don’t bring it up. Some men will mention it right away, and in that case you can agree and imply that if you have the right chemistry, an allowance is something you want. Otherwise, you’re just buttering him up and showing him how great it feels to receive attention from you.

Rule #4 TBH

Once you’ve decided he’s someone you can get along with, it’s time to give him a TBH, or “to be honest” if you somehow don’t know that. This part can be touchy, because you transfer your relationship from casually dating, to a little more serious. For best results, I suggest trying this out after the first date – after he knows he wants you.

Asking a Sugar Daddy about your interests in the relationship must be approached directly, but in a calm and indifferent way. You don’t need him, or his money. But you have standards, and he needs to meet them if the relationship is to continue. Something along the lines of, “I have a friend who’s boyfriend pays for her apartment and gives her a monthly spending budget. Do you think you’d ever consider an arrangement like that if things work out?”

Be non-invasive and understanding. This is where you’ll find out if he’s real, if he’s just a spoiler, or if he’s straight salt.