(This is modified from a post I originally posted on Reddit. Please forgive the pretentious Latin headings. I wanted to be esoteric and spooky. If there are any mistakes, just let me know).

In Principio (In the Beginning)

In time primordial, there was nothing.

And before there was nothing, there were monsters.

These were not your typical monsters. These creatures—primeval demons—were huge, dangerous, and completely evil. They were concerned with nothing more than ultimate destruction. They writhed in a seemingly endless pale yellow sea of hatred and immorality (”Gold Stars”).

One of these demons was named Orgalorg. She was smaller than most of the other demons, but eventually, her name would go down in history as one of the most dangerous and dastardly creatures to have ever emerged from the void. She went by many names, but one of them was Orgalorg, the Breaker of Worlds (”Orgalorg”).

Sometime in the future, Orgalorg would enslave whole galaxies. But she would eventually incure the wrath of Abraham Lincoln, the King of Mars. He would send Glob Grob Grod Gob to fight the demon; Orgalorg was defeated, and fell backwards through time and landed onto Earth, where the gravity compressed her into the shape of an innocuous penguin. Orgalorg was totally amnesiac, and knew nothing of her former life. Eventually, she was adopted by the Ice King, who would refer to her as ‘Gunter’ (”Orgalorg”).

De Natura Magiae et Coronae Glacialis (On the Nature of Magic and the Ice Crown)

The demons flailed in the void for uncountable eons. Eventually, however, something happened. A major event, perhaps. Reality came into existence, and a multiverse was born. No one really knows what became of those demons. Some were presumably destroyed. Others were transformed into other beings. Still others probably fled to the deepest and darkest parts of the multiverse, where they sleep to this day.

Millions of years ticked by. Life began to flourish and fill the universe. During this time, magic was not just a thing from stories. It was reality. Magic users then (and now, in contemporary Ooo) were defined by three factors: they were mostly all mad, they were all filled with sadness, and they could all wield magic. These three factors made wizards a strange breed, and it also meant that the opportunity for magical abuse was ever present (”You Forgot your Floaties”).

On Earth, Magic users lived on this planet, co-existing with dinosaurs and other fantastic creatures (”Evergreen”).



It seems that this prehistoric period was mostly uneventful. However, every one thousand years, a ‘catalyst comet’ (a strange cosmic meteor containing an element of change, be it good or evil) would smash into this antediluvian version of Ooo. These comets very rarely would leave any sort of lasting effects. However, one specific catalyst comet carried an Essence that ached for total destruction (”Evergreen”).

Urgence Evergreen, a great and powerful ice elemental, foresaw the destruction that this Essence would cause and crafted a magic crown that utilized wish magic: when placed on the user’s head, it would make their one true wish a reality. Unfortunately, Evergreen’s feeble-minded (albeit good-natured and abused) assistance, Gunter, placed it on his head, resulting in the crown being marred and the comet smashing into Earth (“Evergreen”).



The dinosaurs were extinguished, and magic was buried for millions of years. All this while, the crown slept…



In a year not too far removed from our own, an antiquarian by the name of Simon Petrikov purchased Evergreen’s ancient crown from a dock worker in Scandinavia. Assuming it was merely a trinket, he placed the crown on his head. But the marred wish of Gunter caused Simon to grow mad. The crown whispered things to him, telling him that he was the master of Ice and Snow, and he began to believe that he was Evergreen. This event caused his fiancée, Betty, to leave him (“Holly Jolly Secrets II”) and travel into the future in order to save him (“Betty”).

De Bello Mussirionis (On the Mushroom War)

It was during this time that some sort of arms race rapidly deteriorated into an all-out nuclear war. No one is entirely sure of how the war progressed, but what is known is that one of the belligerent nations crafted a weapon—known only as the Mushroom Bomb—presumably made from the Essence, that, when detonated, caused the Lich to come into being (“Finn the Human”). This malevolent being thirsted for wanton destruction and the extinction of all life. He roamed the planet for hundreds of years before he was trapped in amber by Billy the Hero (”Mortal Folly”).

According to the (presumable) diary of Simon Petrikov, the effects of the Mushroom War caused a thin mist to descend upon the world, which turned innocent people into ‘goo zombies’ (“Friends Forever”). During this apocalyptic episode, humanity itself was almost completely eradicated, and whole cities were left in ruins (”Simon & Marcy”).

Following the war, Simon, who was still admirably fighting the effects of the crown, discovered a small girl by the name of Marceline in the rubble of a city (“I Remember You”). The two became close friends… that is until Simon truly lost himself and became the completely deranged Ice King (“Simon & Marcy”).

De Historia Marcelinae (On the History of Marceline)

Marceline was born to Hunson Abadeer, the demonic overlord of the Nightosphere, and a (as of now) unnamed human woman (”It Came from the Nightosphere”, “Finn the Human”, Stakes). At some point, when she was very young, she was abandoned on Earth and discovered by Simon (“I Remember You”). Although he eventually succumbed to the crown’s madness, she never forget how much he helped her during those times of harsh survival (“I Remember You”, “Simon & Marcy”).

Marceline spent her preteen and teen years among the wreckage of the world, eking out a living a scavenger. At some point, she discovered a small poodle, which she adopted and named Schwabl (Marcy’s Super Secret Scrapbook). Eventually, she met her father, but his self-centered and non-loving attitude upset her; she sent him back to the Nightosphere after he callously ate some of her fries without asking (”It Came from the Nightosphere”, Marcy’s Super Secret Scrapbook, “Memory of a Memory”, “Marcy & Hunson”).

Around this time, Marceline also started to hunt down vampires, creatures that posed a threat to not only herself, but also others around her. Eventually, she discovered that she could gain the powers of the vampires by absorbing their souls. One by one, Marceline annihilated these creatures, but when she managed to best the Vampire King himself, she was turned in the process (Stakes).

Marceline’s history after she was turned and before she met Finn and Jake is clouded in mystery. Sometime during these hundreds of years, she befriended (and possibly fell in love with, depending on who you talk to) Princess Bubblegum. The two would often spend time together by exploring the Rock Candy mines. Bubblegum, however, grew so busy and obsessed with ruling her kingdom that their relationship deteriorated, although the two would eventually make up (“What Was Missing”, “Sky Witch”, “Varmints”).

De Origine Manducabullae Principis (On the Origin of Princess Bubblegum)

Following the Great Mushroom War, humanity was mostly extinct, radiation mutated organisms, and–most notably—magic reentered into the world, now known as Ooo. During this intermittent time, a semi-sentient piece of gum gave rise to the more familiar Princess Bubblegum (“Explore the Dungeon Because I Don’t Know!”) and her brother, Neddy. The two candy-based creatures responded differently to the world around them, with Bubblegum being more optimistic, and Neddy being more scared and anxiety-ridden (“Bonnie & Neddy”).

Neddy eventually learned that he could sooth his anxieties by suckling on a small tree. Bubblegum, wanting to protect her brother, decided to construct a kingdom around this tree (“Bonnie & Neddy”). Thus the Candy Kingdom was born. Bubblegum soon grew in intelligence and discovered how to create candy-based life: these individuals would become her citizens (”Too Young”, “The Vault”).

But during this early time, Ooo was not safe. Bands of brigands and criminals roamed the land. The Candy Kingdom was the target of presumably dozens of attacks. Bubblegum poured hours of her time into developing more and more advanced technology, such as the awesome Gumball Guardians (”The Vault”). Soon, the Candy Kingdom was the greatest super-power in all of Ooo. Bubblegum was benevolent, but she also had a authoritarian streak (”The Cooler”).

In time, Princess Bubblegum came to learn of a wild vagabond vampire named Marceline. It is unknown when their relationship exactly started (and as to whether it is platonic or romantic), but the two eventually became very close friends (”Varmints”). Although a spat drove them apart, they eventually reconnected and managed to mend their friendship (”Sky Witch”, “Varmints”, Stakes).



De Natura Finni Illius Hominis (On the Nature of Finn the Human)

Somewhere in this timeline, a catalyst comet delivered another Essence to the world. But this Essence was good. For thousands of years, it was reincarnated into various forms, including a butterfly, a pile of goo, and a humanoid female named Shoko (“The Comet”, “The Vault”). Eventually, this Good Essence was sealed in another, more familiar 'meat body’: Finn the Human (“The Comet”).

Finn was born to a vagabond and criminal by the name of Martin Mertens and a “helper” (effectively, a nurse-doctor hybrid) named Dr. Minerva Campbell. The two met on Founders Island—a small portion of Ooo where the last of the humans lived. After a horrible accident, Finn and Martin were separated from Minerva, and Finn himself was eventually lost by his dad (”Min and Marty”, ”The Visitor”). In time, a still infant Finn he was discovered in the woods by Joshua and Margaret, two crime-solving dogs. The canines took pity on Finn and raised him as their own, alongside their two other pups, Jake and Jermaine (”Memories of Boom Boom Mountain”).

All three brothers would remain on friendly terms, but Finn and Jake developed a particularly strong bond (”Jermaine”). The two would live together for 17-plus years of their life, most of that time spent in a Tree Fort that had originally belonged to Marceline the Vampire Queen (”Jermane”, “Evicted”, “Ocarina”).

De Origine Jakis Illius Canis (On the Origin of Jake the Dog)

Before Joshua and Margaret discovered Finn, the two were on the heels of a strange shape-shifting creatures, whose name we later learn was “Warren Ampersand”. The being managed to bite Joshua, and implanted an egg in his head. The shape-shifter’s DNA merged with Joshua’s dog genetics, and Jake was born from the mix (”Joshua & Margaret Investigations”, “Jake the Starchild”). Warren Ampersand’s purpose was to ‘infect’ individuals, causing them to birth an offspring. Then, using insidious technology, this nefarious alien would siphon his scion’s life energy, thus making him effectively immortal. However, it seems that Warren Ampersand underestimated Jake’s power (and his penchant for gifting), as he was eventually outsmarted by his son and tossed into a black hole (“Jake the Starchild”).



Regardless, Warren Ampersand’s alien DNA provided Jake with the amazing ability to stretch into almost anything. While his power is not limitless (”The Limit”), it far exceeds what most people would considerable reasonable, and has been used by Jake and Finn in many moments of crisis. In fact, were Jake not so lazy, he could potentially be one of Ooo’s greatest threats.



De Miscellaneis (On Miscellaneous Things)

There are various other elements about Ooo that we know a little bit about. There is some sort of pantheon of gods/celestial beings that occasionally interfere with the affairs of lesser creatures: The Cosmic Owl (the Keeper of Dreams), Prismo (a wish-master), and Death (the name says it all). Where they came from, and who they are working for, is unknown (”Hoots”, “Finn the Human”/”Jake the Dog”, “Death in Bloom”). We also know that a malevolent being, arguably more powerful than any other in existence exists. His name is GOLB, and he is the destroyed of worlds (”Puhoy”, “You Forgot Your Floaties”, “Temple of Mars”).



The eccentric inventor Moe Giovanni dedicated his life’s work to developing sentient robots capable of giving and receiving love (“Be More”, “The More You Moe, the Moe You Know”). One of his most beloved creations, BMO, would go on to live with Finn in Jake. Moe was also responsible for designing the “Sleeping Giants”, presumably weapons of mass destruction (“The More You Moe, the Moe You Know”). It is unknown as to what these devices were used for, but according to Flame Princess, they were the progenitors of the Fire Kingdom (“The Cooler”).

Following the fall of humanity, some members of the human race escaped to Mars, using plans for a space colony developed by Moe (“The More You Moe, the Moe You Know”). Over hundreds of years, these humans mutated into a new race of highly intelligent people skilled with magic: Martians (”Sons of Mars”, “You Forgot Your Floaties”). Their leader was Abraham Lincoln, and two (or five, depending on how you count them) Martian brothers known as Glob Grob Grod Gob and Magic Man were second only to Abraham Lincoln himself (”Sons of Mars”, “Astral Plane”, “You Forgot Your Floaties”). However, after GOLB stole away Magic Man’s wife, Margles, a chain reaction of events led to Magic Man being driven insane.

Magic Man was banished to Earth, where he—tormented by the insanity inflicted upon him—ran amok on Ooo for about 200 years. However, after teaming up with Betty, a magical mishap resulted in his magic being removed, along with his madness and sadness. Because of this, “Magic Man” turned into “Normal Man” (”You Forgot Your Floaties”). After making amends with Glob Grob Grod Gob, Normal Man traveled to Mars, where he ascended the Martian throne (”Normal Man”). Now known as “King Man”, he led the Martians into a new golden age (”Temple of Mars”).



In Hoc Momento (In This Moment)

In the sixth season finale (”Hot Diggity Doom”/”The Comet”), Princess Bubblegum was peacefully deposed by her own people, and the fraudulent King of Ooo was installed as the new princess. Orgalorg re-awoke and attempted to consume the power of a new catalyst comet, only to be stopped by Finn and Jake. Finn was offered a chance at ascending to a higher plane of existence by the comet, but he turned it down to chill in Ooo for a little while longer. His father, however, took the comet up on its offer, and disappeared from this plane of existence. What will happen next? Tune in this Fall to find out!



And that about covers it. Any questions?

Class dismissed.