Nat Geo Wild said today that it will counterprogram Animal Planet’s Puppy Bowl and Hallmark’s Kitten Bowl on Super Bowl Sunday with an animal bowl of its own: Fish Bowl. Four hours of unadulterated fishbowl magic from 6-10 PM Eastern on February 2. A goldfish. In a bowl. We think they were serious. Hard to tell. It’s been a long day.

NatGeo Wild said the goldfish is named Goldie (that’s not her on the left). She comes with a bio. And a quote — no doubt written by her publicist: “I’m comfortable in my own scales, and have no doubt the Fish Bowl will be the talk of the town.”

The controversial decision to offer the lead to a newcomer was an easy one, explains Geoff Daniels, EVP and General Manager of Nat Geo Wild. “Goldie showed such promise in early casting auditions that we felt confident in the aquatic wonder’s ability to entertain and captivate an audience, for four long hours … while the most-watched television event of the year just happens to be taking place.”