Haji Lulung (left, obviously) has been so comical that he was likened to Ma’il, a Malaysian cartoon character in this meme. Photo: Twitter



Jakarta City Council Vice Chairman Abraham “Haji Lulung” Lunggana has arguably become as popular – if not more so – than his political nemesis Governor Basuki “Ahok” Tjahaja Purnama lately.

But where Ahok made his name as the badass, no-nonsense governor of Indonesia’s capital, Haji Lulung has become infamous for being the exact opposite of that. He’s cheeky, controversial, and (probably) corrupt. He also suffers from occasional lapses of brain flatulence in that he comes up with some of the funniest and weirdest statements.

We’ve already compiled the five most badass Ahok quotes before, so it’s only fair that we compile five of the funniest Haji Lulung quotes here:

“Even my spit turns into money.”

Haji Lulung claims to be a self-made billionaire. When he was in primary school, he was so poor that he worked as a garbage scavenger around Tanah Abang, Central Jakarta. Now, he owns several companies that provide security and parking services in Tanah Abang.

In an interview with Tempo in 2013, Haji Lulung claims he’s rolling in so much dough now that he owns more than 30 cars. He said business in Tanah Abang is so profitable it’s like spitting money. Some suspect that he’s some kind of mafia boss who employs preman thugs in the area, though…

“That handsome man should speak in a sweet manner, then I’ll support him.”

Haji Lulung often resorts to thinly-veiled sarcasm when trying to insult Ahok. After a typically long feud with Ahok – who was still vice governor – in September 2014, the two appeared together in public in a weirdly amicable and friendly fashion.

Asked by journalists about the apparent new friendship between the two political nemeses, Haji Lulung said Ahok is actually likeable if he doesn’t speak in his typical assertive manner.

Of course, the two were back at odds with each other not long after that.

“How come journalists aren’t defending me?”

Haji Lulung lamented how, in his opinion, the Indonesian media tends to side with Ahok in the conflict between the Provincial Government and the City Council regarding irregularities of up to Rp 12.1 trillion in the 2015 Jakarta Regional Budget.

He actually complained to journalists that he thought they were being unfair just as he was about to attend the mediation session between the Provincial Government and the City Council on March 5, 2015. We all know nothing got mediated in that session.

“The argument started after Ahok told the West Jakarta Mayor, ‘hey, you tell them there was no USB!’”

Haji Lulung was visibly upset after the mediation session. He accused Ahok of trying to ignite a war with the City Council after the governor tried to prove that the City Council marked up the price of UPS (uninterruptible power supply) units in the 2015 Jakarta Regional Budget.

Haji Lulung was so upset that a slip of the tongue caused him to say ‘USB’ instead of ‘UPS’ when he spoke to the press. Later, he went to say that the gaffe actually proves his innocence towards any corruption allegations regarding the UPS, since he didn’t even know what the UPS was.

“Communism is pitting people against each other”

Haji Lulung smelled a conspiracy in the midst of his battle with the Provincial Government regarding the 2015 Jakarta Regional Budget. Specifically, he thinks that there is some kind of new form of communism that is trying to discredit the City Council and drive them away from the public’s trust.

When pressed for a definition of the so-called ‘new form of communism’, Haji Lulung came up with the above quote, which is as inaccurate as it is offensive to the millions of communists around the world.

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