In case you haven’t heard, everything is offensive.

Everything.

And if you’re not outraged — right now — over everything — you’re a jerk. In fact, you’re such a jerk, you’re probably a Republican.

Right now, there’s a 24-year-old college sophomore living with his parents; he’s got a mustache and beard and Macbook Air; he’s vegan and celebrates diversity — his bumper sticker says so; he owns a pink kitty hat, and he’s very, very upset. About all of existence. Like ice cream (here); and Peter Dinklage (here); and Halloween skeletons (here); and large Kleenexes (here). And you’re not — you jerk!

Here’s a chance to redeem yourself: side with Maryland’s Danette Zaghari-Mask.

The attorney for the Council on American-Islamic Relations told WBAL-TV last week that her son quit the Westowne Elementary School play upon learning that “Arabs are described as barbaric” in it.

Zaghari-Mask may want to consider that every character in the play is Arab. So, if there are any barbarians in the play, they, too, shall be.

According to the mad mom, this had always been a problem:

“In the play, Arabs are described as barbaric — those are the exact words that are used. And the actual play was very controversial, apparently, in the early ’90s.”

Very controversial? Apparently?

She was upset, so she took the issue to the school.

Fortunately for her, her concerns were well-received:

“It was worth expressing his experience to the school, and we’re just so relieved that the school is considerate of diversity.”

[Here’s a little remind of what diversity is, courtesy of Alex Parker.]

Principal J. Scott Palmer sent a letter to parents of drama club students, stating the school’s desire to “cultivate students who have a strong self-image, appreciation, and respect for other cultures.”

Therefore, the musical will be replaced by “an alternative theatrical production with a focus on fables.”

The racist blight the school was originally intent upon producing was a rendition of the 1992 Disney cartoon Aladdin.

Just weeks ago, that jerk Disney announced it’ll be releasing a live-action version of the barbaric animated hit next spring.

And I hope you’re offended.

Relevant RedState links in this article: here, here, here, here, and here.

See 3 more pieces from me: the drag of a career, wild man Barry, and making all women losers.

Find all my RedState work here.

And please follow Alex Parker on Twitter and Facebook.

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