OITNB S3 E5 “Fake It Till You Fake It Some More” is about:

* Flacca’s backstory, she made fake LSD (blotter paper soaked in water) and sold it to a kid who committed suicide. She was arrested for committing fraud and endangerment (even though she didn’t actually sell real drugs). Flacca's desire to be appreciated for being more than just another girl from the hood is also examined.

* Poussey discovering that her Hooch, buried underground outside of the library, has been stolen. The Meth Heads convince her that it had been stolen by a squirrel/raccoon (no they seriously thought a squirrel and a raccoon could mate).

* Daya coming to a final decision to give up her baby to Mendez’ Mom (I hate this storyline so much).

* Caputo and the CO”s adjustments to life under MCC (including the hours of the CO’s being cut by nearly 50%). We also find out that Danny, the main MCC guy, is also very good at controlling Joe C. Also Caputo makes a totally absurd argument about keeping violent criminals away from certain jobs even though we have seen so-called violent offenders in multiple jobs with access to those same jobs.

* MCC announcing a test to determine which inmates at Litchfield get to participate in a new job program promising pay of $1 an hour (massive pay for prisoners). Later we find out that the test was a scam and that the inmates who made the cut were chosen by random. The job that was being announced was sewing for a lingerie company called “Whispers.”

* Red’s attempt to use her new connection with Sam to get back her job running the kitchen. Sam thinks she is actually interested in him, but at the last minute he figures out that she was manipulating him just to get her old job back (I suspect that this will deepen his loathing for women).

* Gloria attempting to shut down Norma’s appropriation of miracles and Santeria.

* Alex and Piper continuing to fight over life and love and all while Alex is becoming increasingly paranoid about Kubra sending someone to try to kill her.

* SoSo tries to make common cause with the Meth Heads (how desperate has So So become?) but they see right through her desperate condescension.

The Whispers Problem

When the ‘specially’ elected group of Litchfield women finally arrive at their new secret job space, they find out that they have been hired to sew lingerie. This sucks, but it is sadly better than most of the jobs in prison (which usually involve cleaning up poop and pee, food preparation (well, it is called food, or yard work).

It is ironic and sad that we have no problem creating for-profit connections between prison administrations and corporations but we never lever these same relationships to ensure better outcomes for prisoners.

In fact, we hear over and over that our options are usually unpopular large-scale solutions like Ban the Box and or limited Expungements. By tying ourselves to these two solutions, which I do support but not enthusiastically, we make it highly unlikely that the vast majority of prisoners will ever be reached.