You got…

Maradona, Pele, Zidane. They've got nothing on you ...

You've won the league, you could star in Dallas, you've got more silver than Buckingham Palace ...

You're so good you've got a wag and a mock Tudor house in the suburbs ...

You could get an international call-up if you maintain this kind of form ...

You're a reasonable winger but you need to work on your crossing ...

Stay off the shandy and you may one day play professionally ...

You're the Paul Telfer of football quiz land ...

You're more Roy Evans than Roy of the Rovers ...

You're not even good enough to play for Accrington Stanley ...

You're not fit to wear the shirt ...

Go home, son. You're useless ...