The other day I was being interviewed on The CFO Woman podcast. Melissa, the host, was asking me great questions about what it takes to be a successful entrepreneur. I had all the answers…in theory…because sometimes I honestly feel like a fraud.

Am I really a successful freelancer or entrepreneur? At the time I spoke with her, I sure as hell felt anything but successful. In fact, I felt rather beaten down and at a very low point…so much so that I wondered if freelancing was really worth it. Was it time to cut my losses and get a full time job?

Most of you following my blog know that since July my video-related income has been very slow. I’ve been hanging on to my emergency fund for dear life, making it stretch as far as humanly possible. It’s been tough as hell reading other personal finance blogs, and seeing how much many of you are socking away for retirement. The truth is I put nothing toward retirement last year, and so far this year it’s been the same. In a remarkable coincidence, I just happened to see an episode of The Gilmore Girls recently, which had a scene I could damn near relate to to perfection:

I decided to not make any emotional decisions and just do some important, but not work-related tasks like working on my taxes this past weekend. In the meantime, I opened myself up to receiving messages about which direction I should take as far as my career.

Somehow I stumbled upon many different articles, webcasts, and podcasts, that seemed to give me nuggets of information. Perhaps the Universe is really sending me messages, or maybe I just noticed the things I wanted to hear.

A couple things stood out to me: One was something I heard from Kabir Sehgal, author of Coined: The Rich Life of Money and How Its History Has Shaped Us, who was being interviewed on The School of Greatness podcast. When asked what his money or success mindset is, he talked about a poster he sees when he works out at his gym that says, “greatness is about giving up something good today for something great tomorrow. ”

The other nugget was from Martha Beck, who spoke on a webcast I listened to this weekend on the subject of fear. She brought up how so many people are afraid to fail, but said how much successful people fail over and over again, but have the gumption to say, “I’m going to dare to do this again.” She also mentioned the importance of resting, but not giving up.

And that’s what freelancing comes down to sometimes: not giving up, or I should say, not giving up until you absolutely know the right time to move on to something else.

I think back on the seven years I’ve been freelancing. It’s been all over the board as far as busyness and income. And it seems just when I start to lose all hope, things start to turn around…or a new, cool opportunity arises. Sometimes you just gotta hang on.

Why bother if it’s so hard? Because this is what I imagine is just on the other side:

Maybe not diamonds, but some kind of payoff to recognize my hard work. And maybe it’s not the grand prize, but more like unlocking a level (if you understand video games). Just little breadcrumbs to show you you are on the right path. In the podcast featuring Kabir, he mentioned how long it took for him to research his book and win a Grammy. He commented, “greatness occurs over the long term…it doesn’t happen overnight. If you can defer your own gratification, you’re going to be alright.”

Today before I wrote this I had a thought. What would my life look like if I no longer had this blog and dedicated as much time to it as I do? What if I gave up on doing videos because it was too time consuming and I was frustrated with the lack of resources to make them? Honestly, it felt like I would lose a piece of my soul. That I would lose my purpose. Because it’s downright freaking amazing when you DO find your purpose…but to be an “overnight success” is probably not going to happen. At least the way they make it look in movies.

You need the one quality that can get you through any tough time you face…no matter what it is…perseverance!