photo by Scot Facer Proctor

It was, to use a clich, a day I will never forget. The day was Wednesday, October 13, 1993. My friend and co-author, LaRene Gaunt and I, were in the process of writing the third in our series of biographies of the general presidents of the Relief Society, Young Women, and Primary. Elect Ladies: Presidents of the Relief Society had been published in 1990, and Keepers of the Flame: Presidents of the Young Women in 1993. We were busily engaged in researching, interviewing, and writing about the nine women who had served as the Primary general president since Louie B. Felt, the first president, was called in 1880.





For the short biographies of each of the auxiliary presidents, LaRene and I interviewed the president herself, if living, her immediate family members, her counselors, general board members, and other associates. For the deceased presidents, we endeavored to interview several of her posterity. These interviews were so valuable in helping us to understand more about each woman beyond what we learned through library research.





May Green Hinckley served as the third general president of the Primary from 1940 until her death in 1943. She married Bryant S. Hinckley, a widower, in 1932 and thus became step-mother to President Gordon B. Hinckley and his siblings.





It took eight months for us to secure an interview with President Hinckley, then serving as a counselor in the First Presidency, and who, of course, had a very tight and busy schedule. When LaRene called to tell me the good news that we had an appointment on October 13, my first reaction was, “Oh, no. That’s the day before our daughter’s wedding.” I then realized that if we weren’t ready for this wedding the day before it took place, we were in trouble, and I certainly wasn’t going to miss this interview.





When LaRene and I arrived at the Church Administration Building, we were ushered into President Hinckley’s office. He was a bit wary about the tape recorder I placed on his desk, but after I assured him he would have final approval of the manuscript, he began telling us warm, wonderful, and humorous stories about the Hinckley family and of his love for May.





President Hinckley said in our interview, “She took hold of that family. We were not little children, but she took hold of that family, not in any officious way. I don’t know that it was easy for her to step into our family, but she did well. She got along well with all of us. We all appreciated her. We all respected her. We all loved her.”





“I remember a time when I was terribly discouraged over something, and I was sort of brooding. We had a big library in our home with bookcases all around with over a thousand books. I was sitting there reading, but not reading, just sympathizing with myself. She came in, and in a quiet, very understanding way talked to me. I don’t know that the adversity was, but it didn’t look to be much of an adversity after she had finished talking with me.”





President Hinckley’s memory for detail was remarkable as he recalled names of people May had worked with at the Salt Lake Clinic and of Church associations. At one point he said, “I haven’t thought about some of this for 50 years.”





When it was time to leave—and President Hinckley had generously given us one hour of his time—LaRene and I stood to shake hands with him and to thank him for sharing his remembrances of May with us.





At the first of our meeting when we introduced ourselves, I had told President Hinckley that Stephanie would be married the next day in the Salt Lake Temple. As we then readied to depart, he said, “Please tell your daughter that I hope she has a wonderful day and a wonderful life.”





LaRene then said, “President Hinckley, we just want to tell you how much we appreciate all that you do for the Church and how much we love you.”





With tears streaming down his cheeks, President Hinckley put his arms around us and said, “Thank you. Thank you very much.”





Later, I felt I understood why these words touched him that day. Because Church President Ezra Taft Benson was aging and had been ailing for some time, President Hinckley, as First Counselor, carried much of the responsibility of the administration of Church matters. During the month prior to and leading up to our mid-October meeting, President Hinckley had been criticized harshly in the press and through calls and mail to his office because of the “September Six.” In September 1993, six self-described feminists and scholars had been either disfellowshipped or excommunicated for promoting their apostate views of the Church. While each of the disciplinary courts was held in the individual’s stake and was not governed by those at Church headquarters, nevertheless, President Hinckley was the target of some angry critics.





As I relived this tender moment we experienced in President Hinckley’s office, I realized that no matter who the person is, what experiences he has had, or what his position is, everyone appreciates a sincere expression of gratitude—especially when other words are negative. I realized that saying “thank you” is one way we can sustain and support those who serve us.