MPS have welcomed plans to discuss Brexit in depth then just do it anyway.

Politicians have promised to have a rigorous debate but remain committed to morons who did not really care what they were voting for.

Labour MP Stephen Malley said: “I’m going to ask some pretty tough questions about Brexit but without upsetting anyone I want to vote for me.

“I intend to highlight the devastating consequences of Brexit, but not actually try to prevent them by calling for a vote.

“Job losses, falling tax revenues, damage to the NHS – these are all issues I intend to talk about before going home to see if I look good on Newsnight.”

Tory MP Donna Sheridan said: “I want to get to the facts about Brexit, because there’s hardly any information about it after months of intense discussion and analysis.

“I don’t want to alienate Leave voters so I’ll probably ask an insipid question like, ‘Can I ask for an assurance that cat sanctuaries will not be directly affected by Brexit?’

“Personally I’m opposed to Brexit but I can’t ignore the will of the people and I’m so loaded that it won’t affect me anyway.”