God, there's not much better for midday holiday entertainment than watching Donald Trump Skype himself into the private universe of Alex Jones. This could be fairly described as a meeting of the minds, if they weren't two minds short. For example, after they both bent the knee toward St. Ronald Reagan, Jones asked Trump who his favorite president of all time was.

Trump: Well, you have to go with Lincoln and Washington. The classics, you know? Alex, you have to go with the classics.

Jones: Washington, he was a badass, no question.

Makes the Durants look like kindergartners, doesn't it?

But by far the best moment came when Jones tried to invite Trump into Jones's shadowy world of "top generals, former Special Ops guys, former CIA, all top men" to explain how the country is being bored from within by "globalists who want a one-world government, using socialism at the grassroots."

"I understand what you're doing is epic," Jones gushed. "It's George Washington-level. You understand that office. Can you speak about the war for the soul of this country that's happening right now and really tell people what's happening, and commit to people that you won't 'Ross Perot' under death threats and step down when you're in the lead two months from the election?

To be fair to the Libidinous Visitor, he clearly wasn't listening to Jones's question any more than he listens to any question anyone asks him, which is not at all.

"OK," he replied,"let me just tell you, Alex. As you know, I'm leading in every poll nationally. I'm leading in every poll in the states. I'm leading in Iowa, New Hampshire, South Carolina, the SEC, Texas—I'm leading in Texas, which I love. You know, I love Texas. You know we were there—Mark Cuban called up and he said, 'You want to use the arena?' We filled it up in three or four days, 24,000 people. In Mobile, Alabama, we had 35,000 people. (Ed Note: no, he didn't.) We had 20,000 in Oklahoma. I am so into doing this. You know, I could be doing something different."

"No, we know," Jones broke in. "You're doing a dangerous mission."

Truth be told, although Trump declined to wrap himself fully in the warm blanket of wild paranoia, he and Jones come from the same place, and not just because they both have been the country's foremost avatars for the Birther nonsense. Both of them know Top People who fill them in on What's Really Going On. (For example, the fact that death threats ran Ross Perot out of—and, presumably, back into—the 1992 presidential election, and that the same dark forces are arrayed against the Libidinous Visitor this time around.) This was a prime example of political horses for political courses.

"These people are mind-controlling thugs and their day is coming to an end!" Jones declared, shortly after the interview with Trump had ended.

Yeah, they get each other. After about 10 more minutes, I went back to the 24-hour Christmas station from Milwaukee.

Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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