Richard Porter - the man behind the jokes of Top Gear and the Grand Tour, and how we nearly lost him to Chris Evan's Top Gear

Yes, the boys do certainly put on a great show, and it wouldn't be anything without them. Period. But there is someone behind the curtains, tucked away in one of the back rooms, who makes the show what it is.

This person is Richard Porter. No, not the crack dealer from Harlem, the script editor of The Grand Tour, and before that, Top Gear.

Porter has been a large part of the driving force behind the jokes, witticisms and catch phrases that we have all grown to love since he started working with Top Gear from the get go in 2002,. He's been with them ever since.

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Although there was a point - after the 'fracas' between Jeremy and Oisin Tymon (that name always reminds me of hoisin duck,... anyway) involving a steak - where Porter wasn't going to return.

He writes in his memoir:

"“Jeremy had let us down. The reward for the team’s hard work was a smack in the chops.”

he was approached by the BBC to write for the reboot of Top Gear... Alex Harrington

“He was the one who was the bigger man about this,” says Porter talking about Clarkson, “Jeremy sent me a text that said: ‘Shall we go and have a cup of tea?’ So we just sorted things out as British people do: met up, drank tea and didn’t talk about our emotions. It was very nice to hang around together again and we just kept in touch.”

Porter had written about this low point of Top Gear in his book, 'And On That Bombshell', later being praised by Clarkson - even if it took a few jabs at him!

“He was very good about the fact I’d pointed all of this stuff out and called him a bit of an arse,” says Porter. “He sort of acknowledged it was a momentary lapse of reason. We made up without being too emotional about it, and then he said, ‘You should come back and do some stuff with us.’ He didn’t have to do that: he could have told me to sod off forever. I was actually quite pleased.”

And thank goodness he did go back and work on The Grand Tour, as he was approached by the BBC to write for the reboot of Top Gear, even going as far as meeting up with Chris Evans.

Could you imagine what that would have been like? No, I don't want to either.

If you want to watch the man behind the script in action, you can find him on his YouTube channel linked below. I've linked a video of him and Jonny Smith from Fifth Gear discussing the Jaguar XJR. It's a bit funny.

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Porter's answer to Jaguar's marketing tactics?

"This is what they've got to be careful of. The XE, the F-Pace, you know, broadening their market, younger audience, but they should instruct all of their dealers, mandatory staff training, please don't sell any cars to twats"

Who's going to argue with that?

If you prefer to read, then you can find his column in EVO Magazine, or his nonsensical writings on his own website, 'Sniff Petrol', linked below.

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