Last week’s “Apple to acquire Beats for $3.2 billion” news was best encapsulated by this widely shared YouTube clip.

While there is still no official word from Apple or Beats, it hasn’t stopped the pundits and bloggers from opining on what this means for Apple’s future growth. Apple has the dubious problem of being too big to grow. Andreessen Horowitz’s Benedict Evans put together a series of great charts on Apple’s declining revenue growth (all the charts come from here).

The first chart is Apple’s quarterly revenue. The rises and dips are accounting for seasonality. The second chart which tracks Apple’s trailing 12-month revenue is actually a better indicator of Apple’s declining growth since it normalizes seasonality. On a product level, Apple is also seeing slowing growth and in the case of the iPad, declining growth.

Geographically, Apple is also seeing slowing growth in all major markets with the exception for China, where Apple signed a deal with China Mobile at the end of 2013.

Let me clarify that I have no fucking clue why Apple bought Beats. But I skimmed a lot of articles on this topic and some of them had some good ideas. And I, too, wanted to make hip-hop puns with my headlines. With all this in consideration, I’m pulling a Jason Hirschhorn this week and mashing up my favorite articles on the Beats by Dre acquisition to summarize my thoughts.