China Change Exclusive: Liu Xia Cries Out for Help in a Phone Call With Liao Yiwu on April 8, 2018

May 2, 2018

The following is an essay by Liu Xia’s longtime friend Liao Yiwu (廖亦武) explaining the circumstances of the phone call and providing an excerpt of the call for the first time. — The Editors

‘Dona, Dona,’ Give Freedom to Liu Xia

Liao Yiwu, Chinese writer in exile

On April 30, 2018, at 4:00 p.m. in Germany, I spoke to Liu Xia at her home in Beijing. She said: “Now, I’ve got nothing to be afraid of. If I can’t leave, I’ll die in my home. Xiaobo is gone, and there’s nothing in the world for me now. It’s easier to die than live. Using death to defy could not be any simpler for me.”

I felt like I’d just been shocked with a jolt of electricity. I told her to wait. I know that the Chinese Ministry of State Security agents that have been holding her under house arrest, since Xiaobo passed away last July and Liu Xia was forcibly taken to Dali in Yunnan for a while, have been promising her, again and again, guaranteeing that she’d be able to leave the country and seek treatment for her deep clinical depression. First they told her to wait until the 19th Party Congress was over; next they told her to wait until the conclusion of the ‘Two Sessions’ in Beijing in March of this year. On April 1, before Liu Xia’s 57th birthday, the German Ambassador called her to convey Chancellor Merkel’s special respects, and invited her to play badminton in Berlin before long.

According to my information, in early April the German Foreign Minister had already made specific arrangements, including as to how they’d not alert the news media, how they’d covertly collect Liu Xia at the airport, and how they’d arrange her treatment and recovery and more. In my own calls with Liu Xia, I sought Liu Xia’s opinions many times, and discussed the matter in meetings and correspondence with good friends Herta Muller, Harry Merkle, Carolin, Silvia, and the international representative of Liu Xia’s photographic art Peter Sillem. We went over every possible detail. Due to Herta Muller’s support, the Literature House in Berlin was willing to provide her an apartment for an interim period. Carolin said she would host a poetry reading for her, while Silvia were going to help her enter a residency program. Peter Sillem had already reached out to hospitals and experts on her behalf.

We’ve all been patiently and quietly waiting.

We’ve all quietly awaited this special patient.

Liu Xia has no criminal record, and according to the Chinese foreign ministry spokesperson, she has the freedom to travel wherever she wishes.

We’ve been low key about it because after Xiaobo’s death, Liu Xia has been devastated, and the clinical depression she had suffered for years came back worse than ever, driving her to the brink of mental collapse. As long as she is in China, we have no way of looking after her. When Liu Xia told Xiaobo that a special rescue squad in Germany (including the 82-year-old Wolf Biermann and wife) were working to help them, Xiaobo, dying, was moved to tears.

In my April 30 conversation with Liu Xia, I said I’d no long keep it quiet. I will take action, and I will selectively reveal some truth that I have been holding back. I said to her that I would publicize her cries, which was uncontrollable even with her taking large doses of antidepressants, in the evening of April 8, 2018. She said yes.

The following statements were transcribed from audio recordings of our conversation that evening. In the first instance, I called and poured out my concern: I feared that Liu Xia would once again be ‘disappeared.’ I worried that the Chinese government would do the same as they did last year when they announced that Xiaobo and Liu Xia didn’t want to leave the country. Luckily I had her handwriting attesting to the opposite, and remarkably this became the strongest evidence that punctured the lies.

I insisted on Liu Xia writing another application to leave the country, and at first Liu Xia demurred again and again. She then panicked, after that threw the phone down. I waited a little while and called her back, and she cried out in tears:

“The German Embassy knows all about my situation. The whole world knows. So what’s the point of me writing those things again and again?” “But what you’re facing is very special… the German government has been in discussions about this all along…” “I don’t have anywhere to send it from. Nor do I have a cell phone nor a computer.” “OK. That’s OK.” “You know we don’t have all that stuff, but you still want me to do this and do that…” “Over here, we…” “So I’ll write it tomorrow and hand it in tomorrow. You can record it now: I’m so fucking angry that I’m ready to die here…. If I’m dead, it’ll all be done with…. It’s obvious that I don’t have all the ways and means in hand….” “That foreign ministry spokesperson said that you fully enjoy all the provisions of Chinese law…” “I know all that. You don’t have to repeat it. I’m not an idiot.” “OK. Let me tell you about the arrangements: after we get you over here, we’ve got a place called the Literature House where you stay for a while and then apply to join an arts program. At the moment, the responses everywhere are very positive, and everyone agrees that this should be done very quietly….”

I couldn’t go on, because Liu Xia was crying non-stop. The audio recording went for 16 minutes and 30 seconds. I excerpted the first seven minutes, and at about the four minute mark played over it the piano solo “Dona, Dona.” I felt waves of emotion well up inside me. When I turned the music off, I yelled out “Liu Xia!” Her crying abated and she said: “After the German Ambassador called, I started packing. I wasted no time — what more do you want me to do?”

“Dona, Dona” is a Jewish melody from the WWII period popularized by the Jewish-American writer Aaron Zeitlin in the Yiddish play Esterke.

The general meaning of the lyrics is: a calf is being brought to the butchers, a swallow is flitting around above its head. The calf thinks to itself: If only I could turn into a swallow with wings and fly away, how grand it would be. Unfortunately, the calf is not a swallow.

Like her husband Liu Xiaobo, Liu Xia had a passion for works related to Holocaust. Liu Xia even said that she felt she’d been a Jewish person in her previous life.

Dona, Dona became a byword for genocide: the millions of Jewish people were the calf after calf, resigned to their fate, being led to the slaughter. Please, people, with Liu Xia, it’s Dona, Dona now, and please allow me to use Liu Xia’s sobbing as its new lyrics……

Dona, Dona, give her freedom.

Dona, Dona, please cry out loudly for her.

Composed in the late Berlin night on April 30, 2018.

《DonaDona》，把自由給劉霞

流亡作家 廖亦武

今天是2018年4月30日，德國時間下午4點，我致電在中國北京家中的劉霞，她說：“現在沒什麽可怕的了，走不掉就死在家裡。曉波已走了，這個世界再沒什麽可留戀，死比活容易，以死抗爭對於我，最簡單不過。”

我如遭電擊，我說再等等。我知道，長期監管她的國保警察們，自去年7月曉波剛走，劉霞被強制挾持到雲南大理期間，就開始許願，一而再，再而三地許願——保證讓她出國治療深度抑鬱症。先是吩咐等到中共十九大召開之後，接下來是吩咐等到今年3月的人大、政協兩會閉幕之後。在4月1日她57嵗生日前，德國大使還致電給她，轉達了默克爾總理的特別問候，并相約不久後在柏林打羽毛球。據我所知，4月上旬，德國外交部已經作了具體安排，包括如何不驚動新聞界，如何將她從機場接到某一隱蔽地點，安排治病和調養等等。而我自己在通話中，也多次徵求劉霞意見，又多次與好友赫塔▪米勒（Herta.Müller）、哈瑞▪麥克（Harry Merkle）、卡羅琳（Carolin）、西爾維亞（Silvia），以及劉霞藝術攝影的全球代理人彼得▪西冷（Peter Sillem）聚會和通信，事無鉅細地溝通。由於赫塔的張羅，柏林文學之家願意為她提供過渡期公寓，之後，卡羅琳答應為她舉辦一場詩歌朗誦讀會，西爾維亞答應替她聯繫一個在歐洲的入住計劃，而彼得已替她聯絡好相關醫院和專家。

我們都在低調等待。

低調等待一個特殊的病人。按照中國法律，她沒有任何犯罪記錄，中共外交部新聞發言人也宣稱，她依法享有去任何地方的自由。

我們低調是因為曉波走了，她深受刺激，多年的抑鬱症再度加重，使之瀕臨崩潰，而她在國內，我們沒法照顧她。劉霞曾告訴垂危的曉波，他倆在德國有我們這個特別救援小組 (其中還包括82嵗的沃爾夫▪比爾曼 Wolf Biermann 夫婦)，曉波的淚水奪眶而出。

在今天的通話中，我說我不會再低調。我要採取行動，選擇性說出一些隱忍的真相。我會將2018年4月8日晚間，她在大劑量藥物也無法控制的抑鬱的哭喊，和《DonaDona》一塊，公諸於世。她說好的。

下面的文字根據錄音整理。開始，我打通電話後，向劉霞吐露我的擔憂，我怕她再次“失蹤”，像去年那樣，而中國官方還乘機宣稱，是曉波和她不願出國。幸好當時我手裡保存有她的手跡，後來居然成了揭穿謊言的唯一憑證。我堅持讓劉霞再寫一份出國申請，劉霞先說不會的不會的，繼而恐慌，繼而摔了電話。過一會兒我再次打過去，她就哭喊道：

我的情況德國使館都知道，全世界都知道，還要我一遍一遍弄那些東西幹什麼？ 但是你面對的也特別啊……德國政府是一直在談…… 我沒地方傳遞，又沒手機，又沒電腦。 那好吧，好吧。 知道我沒這些，他媽的還老是要來要去…… 我們這邊…… 那我明天就寫，明天就交上去——你現在就錄音下來——我他媽惹急了就死在這兒……死了拉倒……明明知道我不具備所有的途徑和條件…… 那個外交部發言人是這麽說的：你完全享有中國法律所賦予的…… 這些我都知道，你不用重複，我又不是腦殘。 嗯，我給你說一下：我們把你接過來後，會找一個地方，叫“文學之家”，讓你有個過渡，然後申請進入一個藝術家計劃。目前看來，各方面反應積極，大家達成了共識，這是一個非常低調的事……

我說不下去了，因為她無休無止地哭。這次錄音約16分30秒，我截取了前面7分鐘。在約4分鐘時，我開始放《DonaDona》的鋼琴獨奏。內心陣陣波濤洶湧。在關掉音樂時，我叫：“劉霞！”她的哭聲降下來，她說：“德國大使打電話後，我就開始收拾東西，我一點也沒耽誤，還要我怎麽樣……”

《DonaDona》是二次世界大戰時的猶太歌曲，相傳為美籍猶太作家澤德霖（Aaron Zeitlin）為意第緒語劇曲《Esterke》而作。歌詞大意是：有頭牛犢被帶往屠宰場，有隻燕子在它頭上飛翔，牛犢心想，如果變成燕子插翅飛逃該多好啊。可惜牛犢不是燕子。

劉霞和劉曉波一樣，都酷愛與奧斯威辛大屠殺相關的作品。劉霞甚至說，她的前世或許是猶太人。

《DonaDona》，種族滅絕的代名詞：幾百萬猶太人曾像一批批牛犢，聽天由命，被帶往屠宰場。人們啊，請聽聽這首歌的現在進行版，請允許我以劉霞的哭泣為它重新填詞……

《DonaDona》，把自由給她。

《DonaDona》，請為她高聲呼籲。

2018年4月30日深夜於柏林

Share this: Tweet



Print

Email



Like this: Like Loading...