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This is Part 3 of my project to document the poor text translations in Alice in the Heart ~Wonderful Wonder World~. For more project details and to start from the very beginning, see here

We’re staying in the Hatter Mansion and attempting to date the other eligible bachelors in the Hatter Family Mafia. Unfortunately, the ones that are left have a bit of a creep factor to them. Still, in the interest of documenting each route’s translation…here we go.

The color of the text boxes denotes the person speaking:

Pink: Alice is talking out loud

Gold or Green: Alice is thinking to herself

Blue: Someone else is talking to Alice

Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum are the lazy gatekeepers at the Hatter Mansion. Dee is in the blue clothes and is obsessed with relaxing, Dum is in the red clothes and is obsessed with making money. They both fall in love with Alice and attempt to share her as a girlfriend. Alice goes along with it only because the twins threaten to fight each other to the death otherwise (and they’re not joking).

That was not an enjoyable route at all, I was too creeped out. Maybe I’ll have a better time with the Mafia’s boss?

Time to date the head of the Hatter Family Mafia. Blood looks exactly like Alice’s ex-boyfriend from the real world, so she already feels a little uneasy around him. Still thinking this is all a dream, she blames her subconscious. Blood is a manipulative creep. I got the “good” ending in this route and it’s the most disturbing thing ever.

Alice has the choice of going back to the real world or staying in Wonderland with Blood. On the literal cliff of reality, Blood rushes to her and proposes marriage, refusing to take “no” for an answer.

Alice is forced to marry the boss of the mafia, a guy she hates. I don’t see how this can possibly be considered the good ending.

Well, that’s a bummer ending. Next update we get the heck out of the Hatter Mansion and attempt to date the sanest guy I can find: Julius the Clockmaker.