GREEN BAY, WI – The Packers defense has literally more holes that Swiss cheese. You have to be bad, really bad, to make Aaron Rodgers look mediocre while making Kirk Cousins look like the second reincarnation of well, Aaron Rodgers before this defense got horrible.

After getting tromped on Monday Night Football, Packers GM Ted Thompson, filed by presser from the fans and their 4-6 record, made a knee-jerk decision.

According to ESPN’s Adam Schefter, the team has signed the FOX Sound Guy, Bernie Beaudry, to a deal worth a reported 4 million over two years.

“We need warm bodies,” Thompson said. We can’t stop anyone. The way that that man ran in front of a player was incredible. He even got them to stop! They literally stopped in their tracks and turned around. We could only dream of our defense stopping anyone on the Vikings in their tracks?”

While there is no word yet on what position Beaudry will play, he is expected to start in the Packers loss to the Eagles next Sunday.