When news broke that Lance Armstrong's cycling trophies were being stripped from him because of his use of performance enhancing drugs, the Internet-o-highway erupted in a chorus of finger wagging and tongue clucking. "How dare he cheat at a method of transportation?" it collectively shrieked. "Riding bikes is supposed to be hard!"

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"What's that gaping asshole trying to prove, riding his bike up hills?"

But a subset of the Internet, a cooler, more rational, probably more handsome subset, had a different reaction. "Performance-Enhancing Drugs, you say?" we asked, looking up from our morning newspapers and gazing into the middle distance. "As a proven performer, I find that very interesting. I wonder if there are drugs that could improve useful activities instead?"