Apple says it's not to blame for a series of exploding iPods and iPhones, according to a report published on Friday. The company has been under fire, so to speak, for devices overheating and shattering across Europe and the U.K.

Sheesh...and you thought the data rates were bad.

Exploding iPhone Investigation

This exploding iPhone business is no laughing matter: The European Union actually launched a formal inquiry last week after a teen in France said his girlfriend's iPhone screen blew up without warning and sent a shard of glass into his eye. Witnesses told a local paper the phone began to "crackle and pop like a deep-fryer" (only, we assume, without the delicious smell).

The France incident wasn't alone, either: It was preceded by a handful of other reports of exploding Apple devices in Europe and the U.K. In one instance, a man claimed Apple tried to keep him from talking by offering a full refund in exchange for his signature on a gag order. He reportedly refused, instead bringing the alleged smoking gun to the U.K.'s Times newspaper.

The Blame Game

So if Apple's not to blame for the detonating devices, who is? The company now says it's the customers, claiming some sort of improper handling led to the explosions.

"In all cases, the glass cracked due to an external force that was applied to the iPhone," a London-based spokesperson tells Bloomberg.

That explanation seems to contradict the statement by the teen from France, who's quoted by the AP as saying his girlfriend's phone "was not dropped and experienced no unusual shock" before its sudden combustion. (To be fair, applying some sort of "external force" could have been a "usual" occurrence for the couple. Interpret as you will.)

Either way, the investigation doesn't appear to be over. Apple reps met with French government officials to talk about the complaints and "possible measures" that could be taken, the AP reports, and independent experts from the U.S. are said to be conducting further tests as well.

Of course, you could always just side with the satirists and point the finger at Apple's "oppressive regime." Hey, it's your call.

JR Raphael swims in satire at eSarcasm, his new geek humor site. You can follow his often odd thoughts on Twitter: @jr_raphael.

This story, "Apple: Exploding iPhones Not Our Fault " was originally published by PCWorld .