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Sweet baby Jesus…can a Heathen say that? I don’t know what else to say. Matthew Hagee, spawn of John Hagee, and a real chip off the old block, says there is no climate change. He says the claim that there is climate change taking place is in direct contradiction of the Bible and therefore not to be believed.

And you better believe him because he believes in violence, by God, and it was just a few week ago he said,

There is a value in spiritual violence, and it is time that you considered the role that you are playing or not playing and whether or not it’s time for you to become more aggressive in your beliefs.

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So with the appropriate level of fear in your heart for both crazed preacher and ill-tempered deity, listen to the words of Hagee:

The Bible asks this question: whose report do you believe? And the biblical answer is, we believe the report of the Lord. As a matter of fact, at another place in Scripture it says, let God be true, and let every man be a liar.

Wow, that’s just great, Matthew! Outstanding! But – and you might have a different version of the Bible than I do – the Bible says nothing – that’s a big fat zero – about climate change or global warming, because in the Bronze Age, the science didn’t exist.

So of course, since men are liars, the only obvious option for the climate changes we are seeing is that Jesus is returning. Yes! Hallelujah! Jesus is finally coming back to Earth to clean up his mess!

The Bible says that whenever we approach the coming of the Lord Jesus Christ,that there would be strange weather patterns. Jesus said this in Matthew the twenty-fifth chapter.

He also said there would be false prophets.

“Take heed that no man deceive you. For many shall come in my name, saying, I am Christ; and shall deceive many”

He said that in Matthew too. Just sayin’.

So we have a decision to make: do we believe what an environmentalist group says and choose to live in a world where we’re attempting to make everything as clean in the air as possible, or do we believe what the Bible says, that these things were going to happen and that rather than try to clean up all of the air and solve all of the problems of the world by eliminating factories, we should start to tell people about Jesus Christ who is to return?

Well, first of all, nobody said anything about eliminating all the factories. That would be pretty stupid. Also impractical, since factories produce things we all need in our modern technological society. Hell, we need factories to make wind turbines and water turbines and solar panels and other green technologies to combat climate change. Or as Hagee would put it I suppose, to combat Jesus’ return.

“Turn those wind turbines on him men! That’s it!”

Look, Matthew, if you are going for a straw man argument, at least come up with something better than that.

And look, the Vicar of Christ himself, Pope Francis, has just said,

Safeguard Creation, because if we destroy Creation, Creation will destroy us! Never forget this!

The message is pretty clear. We have to protect the environment, that we are biblically obligated to do so, and that to fail in that charge is to face destruction, not by the mighty hand of God flattening our puny selves, but at the hands of the climate itself. This is cause and effect. Or maybe Hagee didn’t watch The Matrix. I bet the Merovingian could have drilled the concept into him.

Pope Francis said in very unequivocal terms,

Creation is not a property, which we can rule over at will; or, even less, is the property of only a few: Creation is a gift, it is a wonderful gift that God has given us, so that we care for it and we use it for the benefit of all, always with great respect and gratitude. … But when we exploit Creation we destroy the sign of God’s love for us, in destroying Creation we are saying to God: ‘I don’t like it! This is not good!”So what do you like?’ ‘I like myself!’ – Here, this is sin! Do you see?

The Pope gets it. Believe in gods or not, the Pope sees how this whole environmental thing works, and in the end, it doesn’t matter why he believes we must care for the environment but that he does. I can live with the whole God says this, God says that thing because the Inquisitors aren’t dropping by my house to “put me to question” and to make sure I’m recycling.

There is no earthly reason – for that matter, no heavenly reason – to reject the reality of climate change. Matthew Hagee is not out anything if he admits that human effect on the climate has been deleterious in the extreme. The evidence is all around us. To insist the Bible says something it doesn’t say while the waters lap around your neck makes no sense at all. Or maybe it says somewhere in Hagee’s Bible that Jesus’ return will be accompanied by water rising up to his neck. Who knows.

The fact is, climate change deniers like Hagee are corporate tools, determined to destroy our earth, extracting everything of worth from its depths, and proving, once and for all, that it is their sincere belief that humans have less worth than anything else on or in the earth.

Welcome to corporate heaven, brought to you by Matthew Hagee, a proud sponsor of Fake Christianity.