It's safe to say that God doesn't live on the Internet. Where cathedrals, temples, and houses of worship succeed in providing the sensation that God might feasibly hang out there, websites fail miserably. The translation from stone and stained glass to ones and zeros is clumsy at best, partially because so many of the websites are built by volunteer designers and partially because those designers insist on building websites as though no website has ever existed in the history of the Internet. To their credit, most of them seem to grasp importance of holding on to the short attention spans of accidental visitors, but they don't have a really solid plan for applying that information.

Yep, looks like heaven.

Even on the websites that clearly took months to produce, you can see the internal struggle of the designers with a newfound skill-set, trying to marry their love of God with their love of being awesome. The following are five examples of that struggle; they are genuine and earnest stabs at being both epic and pious at the same time. You'll notice that all of them are denominations of Christianity, not as a knock against the religion but because they just ended up being the most hilarious. Besides, if I'm going to throw stones it might as well be at the glass houses of people who built them around a belief system of forgiveness.