I think it depends. Like the photo in the post seems respectful. But if the guy's got his arm draped over to where his hand is like hovering over a boob, then I could agree. But then I've never had a guy put his arm over or around my shoulders, so who knows. Maybe I am wrong.

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true, I'll add a photo of a man's arm draped over a woman's shoulder like the way she described.

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That's an interesting line. Is it from a book or poem? It'ss especially timely because someone I know recently got (what I assume) is a diamond bracelet from her boyfriend as their 6 month anniversary gift. I don't think I'd think every women with jewelry is being owned in a slave-master way but I do keep thinking about it with engagement rings and how men don't wear one and how, once upon a time, men didn't even wear wedding rings but their wives did.

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I actually hate it when men use my shoulders as an arm rest. I fucking hate that.

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came here to say this. that shit is annoying.

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Same. Their arms are usually really heavy and it's super uncomfortable.

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What a radical

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I hate it when anyone puts their arm around my waist but especially men. Unless we fuckin, don't touch my waist

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Oh me too! I always thought I was a little nuts because it's usually from a friendly hello hug, and then I'm like, "Your hand lingered on my waist... I do not like it."

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Ugh I hate it when men you don't know/are not your bf do this. Same when the actually kiss your cheek and don't just touch their cheek with yours and make the sound (where I'm from you say hello and goodbye to everyone like this, wether you know them or not. So whenever someone actually kisses your cheek, you're like wtf.)

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I mean I kinda see what she's saying? I mean I think it can be totally innocent, but the issue would be that it isn't always the case



idk i'm not touchy with my friends anyway



Edited at 2015-09-15 04:30 pm (UTC)

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There are a lot of ways humans convey "ownership" via body language. Men and women both do it. It's an interesting topic.



Is it sexist when a man puts his arm around a woman? Like everything in life, it can be. Our culture reinforces the notion that women don't have ownership over their own bodies, that they are, in a sense, communal property. A man putting his arm around a woman can be part of that. I don't think it's inherently sexist, but it's not inherently not-sexist.



The main point of my comment is... my boss is out of the office and I don't feel like working.

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I like how you think.

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this



plus, specifically regarding the arm around the shoulders, you don't see women doing it to men as often.

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women are usually shorter than men, though. with girls, it's usually the taller of us who does it.



but ia, it depends on the context.

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I like how this comment develops, lol.

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If that's a problem for her, that's fine, but everyone is allowed to feel differently about how they want to be touched. In the end I'm not sure anyone should really be taking advice from Helen "Mike Tyson wasn't really a rapist" Mirren.

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who is taking advice tho, ppl can clearly relate to this topic

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Maybe "advice" wasn't the best word idk. She just has some really fucked up views about sex and relationships and it makes me uncomfortable when she speaks on those topics.

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i love how the older she gets the less of a fuck she gives

queen

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my friend would totally agree with this.



but what if a boyfriend puts his arms around his boyfriend, or a girlfriend around her girlfriend, or a girlfriend around her boyfriend. Is that ownership??

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yes. It can be just as easily.

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She didn't mention anything about that, so I figured she didn't think it was. I think it's a bit of a stretch, but okay?? For some it might be. I don't see it. I just seem tumblr fem sjw when I read the subject line.

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it can be. if their partner was surrounded by a bunch of people hitting on their partner, and they come over and puts their arm over their partner's shoulder/neck/waist, that's usually cue for "hey, they're mine. back off." but that's not always a bad thing depending on the situation, I think? I mean I hate the neck thing that's too territorial, imo. but coming over and putting your arm over their shoulder if, say, someone seems to be borderline harassing your partner so they'd stop doing that, I think that's fine.



with any gender, it depends on their relationship status, comfort levels, and the context.



Edited at 2015-09-15 06:17 pm (UTC)

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Yup, I had a girlfriend who HATED that. She had previously been in an abusive relationship with a guy, She was my height and I had to check myself a couple of times.



It IS obtrusive to just randomly hang your arm on top of someone's shoulders unless they specifically ask for it.

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you were a v considerate gf for checking yourself tbh

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Why would someone ask you to put your arm around their shoulder? It's something that's supposed to happen naturally

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I don't like those words either. Especially sassy.

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I think it's so cute when I see a couple walking, both with one arm around each other.

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i'm all about my guy putting his arm around my shoulder while mine is around his waist. to each their own tbh!

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like, when you're posing for a picture?

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yup

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