Since Pat Tillman's death by friendly fire in Afghanistan in 2004, journalists have operated under the incorrect assumption that Tillman did not grant interviews after he walked away from a multimillion-dollar contract with the Arizona Cardinals to join the Army.

We were wrong.

After leaving football, Tillman participated in a single, ongoing, no-holds-barred conversation with himself. He kept a journal. Some of his most telling entries appear in the book "Where Men Win Glory: The Odyssey of Pat Tillman," by Jon Krakauer, which goes on sale today.

In the years since Tillman became the object of a military cover-up and a crass public-relations campaign by an administration desperate to win an election and divert attention away from the Abu Ghraib prison scandal, reporters have had to rely on public statements from Tillman's friends and family to imagine what the athlete-turned-soldier-turned-hero would have thought about what happened to his legacy.

I've spoken a number of times to his mother, Mary, who wrote her own book, "Boots on the Ground by Dusk," about her son. She told me once of Pat, "He was a very big-hearted person. And honest to a fault."

Pat's brother, Kevin, who entered the Army with Pat, eloquently addressed the Army's contention that a "perception of concealment" occurred after Pat's death. Speaking before a congressional committee, he said: "Delivering false information at a nationally-televised memorial service is not an error in judgment. Discarding an investigation that does not fit a preordained conclusion is not an error in judgment. These are deliberate acts of deceit. This is not the perception of concealment. This is concealment."

But no one had heard from Pat until his wife, Marie, gave Krakauer access to Tillman's surviving journals. (After his death, a notebook he had with him was burned by the Army, along with his clothes.)

The excerpts Krakauer includes in his book answer some of the questions we might have asked Tillman. For instance: How did he feel about the war with Iraq?

Shortly before the invasion, Tillman wrote: "Were our case for war even somewhat justifiable, no doubt many of our traditional allies ... would be praising our initiative ... However, every leader in the world, with a few exceptions, is crying foul, as is the voice of much of the people. This ... leads me to believe that we have little or no justification other than our imperial whim. Of course Nub (his nickname for Kevin) & I have ... willingly allowed ourselves to be pawns in this game and will do our job whether we agree with it or not. All we ask is that it is duly noted that we harbor no illusions of virtue."

Krakauer also quotes from an Army document Tillman filled out in which he was required to state preferences for possible funeral arrangements. Under "special instructions" Tillman wrote, "I do not want the military to have any direct involvement with my funeral."

(Krakauer will appear at a discussion and book signing on Oct. 3 at Dobson High School in Tempe. The event, sponsored by Changing Hands Bookstore, will benefit the Pat Tillman Foundation. For tickets call 480-730-0205.)

Finally, while others have attempted to define Tillman's legacy, he provided his own answer in a journal entry. Like the man, it avoids cliches, acknowledges ambiguity and speaks humbly of his aspirations. He wrote:

"Will people see me as an honest man, hard working man, family man, a good man? Can I become the man I envision? Is vision and follow-through enough? How important is talent & blind luck? ... There are no true answers, just shades of grey, coincidence, and circumstance."

Reach Montini at 602-444-8978 or ed.montini@arizonarepublic.com.