Theresa May announces snap annihilation of the Labour party

Prime Minister Theresa May has announced a snap annihilation of the Labour party on June 8th, 2017.

She plans to ask the country to do away entirely with a bothersome opposition who seem intent on doing a terrible job as long as they have one.

The Prime Minister told reporters in Downing Street, “The only way to guarantee stability and certainty on the road ahead is to fuck the Labour party into a hole in the ground, and the polls all seem to suggest this is the perfect time to do precisely that.

“Although they represent very little threat to us, it is awfully tiresome having to look at so many of them on the opposition benches – so we thought we’d thin the herd a little bit.”

Jeremy Corbyn is expected to respond, just as soon as he comes out of the toilet.