Study: More College Students Believing In Communism, Santa Claus

U.S.—A new report released by a special Pew Research team confirmed that more and more college students are believing in the viability of a communist state, as well as other mythological creatures like Santa Claus, fairies, and the Easter Bunny.

A full 83% of those survey said they believe communism could work as a system of government, and also stated they believe that a large man in a red suit delivers presents to every child in the world in a single night each year.

“We’ve found a strong correlation between the inability to tell fantasy from reality and the belief that communism is a viable system of government,” head researcher Dr. Peter Fellows said Monday. “It seems that the same college kids who believe that any form of socialism can prosper on a long-term basis also subscribe to other laughably far-fetched and fantastical belief systems.”

The study found that belief in unicorns, Bigfoot, a flat earth, leprechauns, and ancient alien visitors to earth are all very common beliefs among those who also believe that communal ownership of the means of production will result in a stable and happy utopian society. According to study personnel, the same thought processes that believe in outlandish mythological theories lead one to deny basic economic facts in order to support fantasies like communism.

“If you can deny the obvious evidence against the existence of Santa Claus and other folk tales, then you can deny the obvious evidence that a communist state will bring anything but death and despair,” Fellows added.

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