BUFFALO—According to Johnny Carson, the least used sentence in the English language is, “That’s the banjo player’s Porsche.”

He said that a while ago.

Here’s a new possibility: “I used to say my wife, wouldn’t it be great to be here?”

“Here” in this case being Buffalo.

Alex Anthopoulos said it Thursday. Seriously. He said that. No air quotes around “great.” Anthopoulos likes Buffalo. A lot.

He could go on all day about . . . well, about anything. But that includes the city that is a life-support system for Cheektowaga.

He remembers the first time he came to Buffalo: September 2000, to see the Bills vs. the Titans. That same Sunday, he had a few wobbly pops down the third-base line watching the Triple-A Bisons, then a Cleveland Indians affiliate.

He saw Van Halen here (with David Lee Roth, natch). Witnessing the geniuses behind 1984 — that will change a man.

Long before the Blue Jays and Bisons agreed to take hold of each other’s hands across the Peace Bridge, Anthopoulos was coming down here on weekends at his wife’s urging.

“She really loves that Galleria Mall,” Anthopoulos said. “Sometimes she’ll say, ‘Let’s just drive down to Buffalo.’ And I’ll say, ‘Is that really how we’re going to spend our Sunday?’ ”

And then, like all wise men, he goes.

What’s the big deal with the Galleria Mall? It’s like . . . oh my God, it has a P.F. Chang’s!

There were many good baseball reasons for the Jays to switch Triple-A affiliates in the off-season.

The Las Vegas 51s were too far away. The thin air skewed results — inflating hitting stats and driving pitchers into therapy. The weather is unbearable and the name of the team an insult to the God fearing.

By contrast, Buffalo is close. Coca-Cola Field is gorgeous. Unlike Vegas, the climate is only a problem for one month out of the season.

The Bisons were happy to have us, too. Not just because they’d spent four terrible years as a New York Mets affiliate. Since the Mets are also a minor-league franchise, that was an involuntary demotion.

More importantly, Buffalo wanted in so it could express its guileless admiration of Canada. Buffalo loves Canada the same way it loves America — it’s all in. No winking. No irony.

The tone was captured in the game notes, in what sounded like a head’s up to the sort of people who own flagpoles: “Expect to see more Canadian-themed items at the ballpark.”

Though their weekday home opener started mid-afternoon, the stands were fair to bursting. The 15,582 on hand represented the biggest weekday afternoon crowd for a game here in 14 years. And they’ve always loved their baseball in Buffalo.

Ahead of the game, they shipped in a kids’ team from Thorold, Ont., and had them exchange caps with a local squad in a gesture of cross-border amity. It was utterly cornball, and equally lovely.

Despite a contest between two New York-based teams — Buffalo and Rochester — they performed O Canada in the lead-up.

“I really wasn’t expecting that,” Anthopoulos said, charmed. They’ll continue to do so all season long.

The Sabres do the same thing, honouring Canada in games that feature no Canadian content. Sure, it’s a marketing gimmick aimed at visiting fans, but that’s not all it is.

If it doesn’t sound like too big a deal to you, try to imagine any Canadian venue performing The Star Spangled Banner just because or out of respect.

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Wouldn’t happen. Would be shouted down if it was tried. “Jingoism.” they’d call it.

Whatever their faults, Americans aren’t weighted down by our inferiority complex. They don’t think pumping someone else’s tires deflates their own. That’s the very best thing about them.

It got a little much around the time Roberto Alomar was introduced to throw out the opening pitch, introduced as “the best second baseman of all time.”

That’s news to Rogers Hornsby and Eddie Collins. Everything’s news to Joe Morgan, but he still ranks over the Jays’ greatest hero.

Those who put down their 10 bucks for a seat were well rewarded. It was an odd, engaging contest — much better than anything we’ve yet seen at the Rogers Centre.

There were a bunch of “Oh What?!” moments — prime among them Anthony Gose deciding to leg it for second on what was so clearly a single it entirely mixed up the second baseman. So, of course, he made it.

Later, Gose ran through the outfield wall chasing a home run. He broke the wall in two. In order, the players on this team who should not be running through walls are: Gose, Gose and, in a few weeks, Colby Rasmus.

Afterward, Bisons manager Marty Brown compared Gose — the only surefire future star on this roster — with one of his former charges, Grady Sizemore.

“Grady was a manager’s dream,” Brown said. “This guy is better than Grady.”

Before it ended, the home plate umpire was knocked out of the game by a fastball in the head. His replacement threw Brown and third baseman Andy LaRoche out of the game. Both teams put up crooked numbers. Buffalo won 12-7.

It was as bonkers a game as I’ve seen in years.

Gose emerged smiling, even when talking about the kamikaze run to second — “Not the smartest play.”

They were on him, the Buffalo media, talking up his 3-for-4 day and his electrifying presence when he gets the chance to run at people.

Gose pulled back at the questioning.

“It’s the first game,” he pleaded, speaking to the city through the fourth estate. “Let’s not get carried away.”

Too late. Buffalo’s already sold.

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