Bibles commissioned by Michael Gove and distributed to every state school in the country have a direct reference to him on the spine, Political Scrapbook can exclusively reveal. In an act of breathtaking hubris, the tomes bear the prominent wording “Presented by the Secretary of State for Education”.

The year head of a state-funded Christian high school told this blog:

“We all had a good laugh when it arrived. The only person referenced on the spine of a King James Bible should be King James I.”

Having been informed that the use of public funds for his vanity project was unacceptable, the 400th anniversary King James Bibles were finally freed from their warehouse imprisonment at a cost of £370,000 by numerous Tory donors — including sponsorship from, erm, CarpetRight magnate Lord Harris.

While the web page to which Gove directs educators in a covering letter contains none of the promised classroom materials, teachers have been left scratching their heads as to the educational value of the initiative, with one telling the Guardian:

“I work in an inner-city primary school and there’s no way that our children are going to be reading and understanding the kind of English this Bible is written in.”

“Pride goeth before destruction, and an haughty spirit before a fall.” Proverbs 16:18.