OK, so while countless gay couples wait—in some cases for many decades, their lives and families held in the balance—Supreme Court Justices are freaking out about moving too fast. The New York Times reported that some expressed a sort of “buyer’s remorse” about the hearings Tuesday, with Justice Alito feeling the need to give a little history lesson.



“You want us to step in and assess the effects of this institution, which is newer than cellphones and/or the Internet?” he asked, urging caution in a ruling.



Hmm. The Internet was introduced to the public by UCLA in 1969. And the mobile phone was invented by Martin Cooper in 1973.



So, by Alito's bizarre logic, that must mean the concept of gay marriage—the mere fact of same-sex lovers entering into a commitment and living together as partners—must have been invented some time in the ’70s. Right?

Now it's time for our history lesson, in brief, easy-to-digest timeline format:

1970: Minnesota couple Jack Baker and Michael McConnell tried to legally marry; their case went to the Supreme Court, which declined to hear arguments. But they're still together.



1969: Stonewall uprising, the kick-off of the modern-day gay rights movement, takes place in NYC.



1965: Edie Windsor and Theya Speyer, profiled in the documentary "A Very Long Engagement," enter into their 44-year relationship. The two eventually married. Windsor is now the plaintiff in the Supreme Court's Defense of Marriage case, heard Wednesday. When Spyer died in 2009, Windsor sued to challenge a $363,000 federal estate tax bill she got after Spyer's death.



1963: The book “The Homosexual and his Society” described informal gay weddings where all the formalities of a legally certified and religiously sanctioned ceremony "are aped with the greatest of care.”



2400 B.C.: Evidence of the first gay couple, in ancient Egypt, was unearthed when two male royal manicurists named Niankhkhnum and Khnumhotep were found buried together in a shared tomb similar to the way married couples were often buried.



Justice Scalia: Shall we go on?

