I am already repeatedly baffled by the proposal that government should be run “like a business,” since businesses aim to extract the most profit possible from each customer while simultaneously spending as little possible per customer to acquire and service them. Personally, I like to think that the point of a government shouldn’t be to extract the most tax possible while delivering the fewest services, but maybe that’s just me.

However, under the Trump administration, this idea of the government as a “business” has taken on an even creepier life as the Republicans’ go-to euphemism for dictator behavior. Nikki Haley, the current ambassador to the United Nations, is just the latest Republican to try and justify Trump’s ethical abuses using business terminology.

“The President is the CEO of the country,” she said to ABC News’ George Stephanopoulos, attempting to justify the firing of James Comey. “He can hire and fire whoever he wants; that’s his right. Whether you agree with it or not, it’s the truth.”

Sorry, but he actually, constitutionally, can’t. He can’t fire Supreme Court justices. He can’t fire sitting senators and representatives. And he certainly doesn’t have the “right” to fire FBI Directors in order to explicitly obstruct justice.

Haley continued: “I think what you can see is this is a president of action. He is not one that’s going to sit there and talk for too long. If he thinks something’ wrong, he’s going to deal with it. I think that the reason people are uncomfortable is because he acts. He doesn’t talk with a bunch of people about it before. He just acts.”

That much, at least, we can agree on. I do find it disturbing that Trump never discusses his decisions with anyone qualified enough to speak to their efficacy or wisdom. I am, indeed, “uncomfortable” with someone treating one of the world’s largest democracies as an ego boost.

I mean, even if I accept this ridiculous business metaphor, Haley is still dead wrong. Citizens and voters are the CEO in a democracy. (They, after all, pay the salaries and make all the hiring decisions.) The president is merely their employee, and he serves at their discretion.

Still, the “like a business” construct remains inadequate, even when the power setup is correctly aligned. Government serves a fundamentally different function from business. It is built to serve the people, not to profit from them. It also cannot be run with the same risk-taking, gamble-to-win mindset of a corporation. The market, even hardcore libertarians will acknowledge, goes through booms and busts – cataclysmic ones, when it’s unregulated. We could not live safe, stable lives with a government that did the same, roiling through a coup every few years.

Government decisions are designed to be taken slowly, with input from many people, because the government needs stability to ensure its citizens’ safety and happiness. This is why Americans revere the peaceful transfer of power. This is why policymakers commission and cite studies to back their proposals up, rather than calling on a “gut feeling” or a “need to strike while the iron is hot.” Decisions that affect the basic human dignity of millions do not demand impulsive, unilateral action. That behavior is instead the hallmark of crash-and-burn startup founders, fascist dictators, and the gross bros who dream of being both.

(Via CNN and ABC News; image via Shutterstock)

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