Gird your chips and quac, ladies. The Victoria’s Secret Fashion show is crumbling faster than you can order Dominos.

This year’s VS Fashion show is under attack from the Chinese government and things do not seem to being well. It has been confirmed that Gigi Hadid will NOT be walking in this year’s show, just a week before it airs.

Gigi would like us to think something randomly came up, but knowing how insane the Chinese government is, it’s been determined she was probably blocked because of an Instagram post imitating the Buddha months ago.

I know a lot of models have to go through a much more rigorous process than Gigi to get to the show, but she has become a staple for me. I look forward to seeing Gigi and Bella almost as much as I look forward to seeing Kris Jenner in the audience.

I don’t think there could be anything worse than not eating for eight months in preparation for the VS Fashion show only to find out it was all for nothing. The pizza, the wine, the cheese, the donuts, the pizza, all that passed up for nothing.

In other news, China also isn’t letting Katy Perry into the country now, something about Twain and a sunflower dress.

I’m not a huge Katy fan, but I am a fan of Katy VS Taylor Swift which is what we were in store for. And China took that away from us. I have been waiting for this bad blood battle for years and it’s just been ripped away. They have replaced Katy Perry with Harry Style’s which will hopefully be just as awkward with Taylor watching in the wings.

Never forget.

The show will be filmed on Monday, November 20th so it’s a quick turn around this year. Adriana Lima has yet to be granted access to the country as well, but that might be a sign that it’s time to retire and step aside.

Wait, I don’t think she’s trying to “take your shine”, sweat heart. She just might be done.

Another issue the show is facing? The bloggers that Victoria flies out to promote the event are also having trouble getting into the country and obtaining Visas. While I wasn’t invited even though I am a PROMINENT blogger, this is not good for business. I’m going to have to ask the obvious question here and say WHY IS THIS STILL IN CHINA?

Seriously, when is enough enough? We already wont get Behati because she got knocked up and that means we don’t get Adam Levine loving from the sidelines, a moment I rewound 100 times when I watched it with my sorority sisters.

Oops, that’s not Behati. And what about the loyal fans? The sorority sisters watching together who have yet to lose their metabolism and still think they are fat and practice walking through the hallways for hours afterwards?

Or was that just my friends…..And what about the twenty-somethings that have lost their metabolism and actually are fat, but continue to gorge themselves in honor of the unrealistic and unachievable ideals set by Victoria.

I really want to know Victoria’s secret to being that skinny and I hope it doesn’t involve not eating. There is only one way they can come back from this and that’s if Kaia Gerber walks out on that runway. Kaia is everything and everything is Kaia, she will save us all. And if not her then I’m sure Lisa Rinna found a way to shove one of her girls into Gigi’s spot.

You better watch your back, China. No one hold a grudge better than Lisa Rinna or Kris Jenner.