Wednesday 3rd September 2014

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Every time I come away on a lazy holiday like this one, I think to myself that it might be a good idea to book a villa or hotel room somewhere nice and quiet for a week or two and come out and see how much work I could get done. Although the internet is now a worldwide distraction and probably a necessity for writing nowadays (both the block and the doorway to creating your work), to be away from everything else, in a pleasant and warm environment, with none of the worries of day to day life (even your food and household chores are catered for) might be a great way to get lots done in a small amount of time. With the added advantage of being able to have a cocktail as the sun goes down. I always seem to wake up early on holiday, meaning that I could probably get a full day’s writing in by lunchtime and then just swim and drink beer. You would need to do enough work to pay for the hotel and flights at least (plus I suppose enough to pay your rent/mortgage and bills at home, plus some left over to spend on other stuff). And the danger is that you count it as a holiday and never have a holiday. But if it worked… I certainly always have way more ideas and inspiration when I am having time off than I do when I am “working”. Would it still happen if I knew that I was supposed to be working.

Today we gave it a bit of a go. My wife had some work to do on her next book and I had a Metro article to file and although we were far from doing a full day’s work, it was surprisingly easy and productive. Writing on holiday feels like a pleasure rather than a job and when you read next week’s column about centaur cocks then you will know that I was writing that instead of sunbathing or reading Al Murray’s book. Maybe I will spend the rest of the holiday writing so that I can do nothing when I get home. Or maybe I have misunderstood the purpose of holidays. My job would be my hobby if it wasn’t my job. It’s hard to escape a creative profession, especially when a change of environment and a drop in pressure actually gets things stewing.

I managed a trip to the gym amongst all this. It’s hard to run in the heat of Barbados but I was on the treadmill for ten minutes, before changing on to the exercise bike. I was surprised to see the same bird that was battering its head against the window with a twig in its mouth two days ago was back at the window, with a different piece of nest waddling in its mouth, still banging its head against the glass. It really wants to build a nest in the gym. If I could have opened the window I would have let this persistent idiot in. He really wanted access. I wondered if the gym was like some kind of Noah’s Ark to the dinosaur-descendant and it was desperate to deliver its message in twig form. How long would it keep flying into the glass before it got the message? I had thought he was a prick before, but now I quite liked him. He reminds me of myself the more that I see him.

I’ve also been doing a bit of work with the RHLSTP bookings for the next series. There are quite a few names in, but here are the ones that are confirmed. There will be two guests for most dates:

29th September Katherine Ryan

13th October Can’t name this person yet and there’s a chance that they might pull out, but if you want to take a gamble it will sell out as soon as it is announced so I’d take a chance and book now if I was you (the other proposed guest is good too)

20th October Sarah Millican - looking forward to another battle of wits and filth. Who will win this time? It will be Sarah as usual.

24th November Stewart Lee, Emma Kennedy and hopefully some others from the cast of TMWRNJ. No new sketches, just chats about the series, which will become one of the extras on the new DVD release (hopefully next year) This one is predictably sold out. Don’t leave the 13th October date too late now!

You can book for the non-sold out ones here .

And I am not far off being able to let you know other names. Some really good ones in the bag (hopefully) and more to come. Take a chance and you won't miss out on these if you happen to be away from your computer when they are announced. And by the way we are putting the videos out for free this time, in the hope that that will encourage more people to donate monthly or just give us a one off badge donation. Plus we've lost so much money this year, what the fuck? Let's show our disregard for the economic system! There are additional backstage videos and of course prizes and more for the monthly donators (and if you make a one-off donation of over £12 you also get access to all that, I believe) and all the money you give goes to making online content in the future, the pace of which will be determined by how many people are prepared to make a tiny contribution towards it.. Join in the slowest building gang of pleasant nerds in the Western World here.