The First and Last Time I Played D&D

This happened a while back so I forgot all the details.

My sister’s ex was a huge D&D player. While I was interested in playing, my sister really wasn’t. We eventually talked her into playing so we could have three players. I am not a good role player but I had done a little in World of Warcraft, so I was not completely lost.

First step: Creating characters!

My sister decided to be a gnome because they can talk to critters and she wanted a pet rat (named Waxil). Her class was a rogue. She named her something hilarious I can’t remember, possibly Jinkles or Pippy.

I decided on a Tiefling and class was a warlock because that is what I played in WoW. Named Killian.

Second Step: Buying Supplies!

We had some starting gold and bought your standard food/ropes/candles/etc. We also bought a donkey to carry the stuff.

Third Step: Start the Adventure!

The first thing we did was go to a dungeon to find some evil kobolds or something. Well we got there, killed them, and did some exploring.

The DM said there was a ‘mysterious sound’ down a certain hallway. We knew it was the DM trying to get his super dragon psyborn (?) character, Valerius, in the game. So we decided to ignore the hallway. We were unfortunately attacked by a big monster but fortunately Valerius was able to break free and save us.

Afterwards we went to a tavern. There was some guy complaining about a group of thieves and how awesome it would be if some adventurers would get his shit back. Well, I knew just the pair. So we decided to take the case.

The DM told us, “Valerius would help you out on your quest.” We told him, “No. We just met this shady dragon dude. He is not invited.” DM: “Are you sure?” Us: “Yep!” DM: “Fine!”

So we (Killian, Bubbles (?), and Donkey) travel to this old stronghold that the thieves are hiding at. First we do a little reconnaissance with Flipflops’ pet rat Waxil. We noticed that there were some in the courtyard but we needed to get by them and into the building.

The DM suggested I distract the guys while Twinkletoes sneaks in.*suggestive eyebrow waggle*. But we decided that would be no fun for me.

But we had a genius plan PETA would not approve of. I knew a fire spell. We had a donkey that we were not really using. Combine these two things and you have one hell of a distraction.

We set the donkey on fire and chased it into the courtyard.

We checked our dice rolls and our plan worked. We snuck in, got the stolen loot and got back out. We were victorious!

It was at this point the DM got pissed we were not doing things normally and decided he didn’t want to DM. And that was the last and only time I played D&D.