“Mental pain is less dramatic than physical pain, but it is more common and also harder to bear. The frequent attempt to conceal mental pain increases the burden: it is easier to say “My tooth is aching” than to say “My heart is broken.”

-C.S Lewis, The Problem of Pain

It’s amazing how many people now days walk around calling people placing labels on people such as calling them “depressed” when most of them don’t know what the difference between being depressed and being sad/upset is. I want to consistently remind people to watch their words since they can affect people and do hurt.

Depression is defined as a mental condition characterised by feelings of severe despondency and dejection, typically also with feelings of inadequacy and guilt, often accompanied by a lack of energy and disturbance of appetite and sleep.

Sadness is defined as feeling or showing sorrow; unhappy.

Which technically just means sadness morphs into depression and depression sets in when your daily life gets affected as a result of mental stress. I can say that at some point in time I might have put myself in the category of being “depressed” since it did throw my body into a state of abnormal functioning if you compared it to an average human. Maybe I still fight it every day, and I guess it’s a daily battle. The thing about most mental conditions is you don’t catch on until there are some physical signs. Anxiety also causes physical symptoms, such as chest pains or tightness of chest, fatigue, dilated pupils, etc. Sometimes we miss these physical signs and get treated for something we might not have, solving the symptoms but not the route cause. They all become actual mental conditions after it’s too late to stop it at the first stage. Which is why I’m also so big on reflections, it’s a way to catch things before it’s too late, it’s also good to see how far along the line you’ve managed to get. It’s not just physical progress at the new year, which is what most people look at. I want to shrink a dress size or two, maybe get that six pack, it should be mental progress as well. These are all the things I wish I told my past self and knew while I was going through whatever I was going through. It’s also a good reminder to my future self, and I hope it helps someone else.

Dear Past/Present/Future Me,

Do not be ashamed of who you are. It is okay sometimes to slip into depression. I know you are trying hard to pull yourself out, but you are finding it difficult. It seems like every other little negative thing just keeps adding to you and making things worse and harder for you to get out. To the people that fail to comprehend things around you or show you some empathy during a time you find something difficult, I’m sorry they are making things so much harder. But remember during your worst times you will find your bravest self and real friends. There is no reason to be unkind to yourself for feeling upset about some things, enough for it to begin to interfere with your daily life. Not being able to reason out all your feelings fully all the time is okay. Not everything has to be justified or has to make sense. You are feeling, and that means you are living. However, you are feeling with reason and purpose. I know it makes no sense because you can’t justify whatever is going on, and you don’t understand why you are so upset since everything is logical to you, it can be pretty frustrating not understanding the emotional aspect of things. To the people that say your depressed or depressing, you’re right they don’t know you or what you are going through. There’s also no reason you have to go and justify anything to them. I am aware their words hurt you, but they don’t know you, to begin with so what do they know? Why should their opinion matter to you? But I know words still hurt when you already feel bad about yourself.

However, I want you to remember to breathe. I want you to know its okay to be upset but not to let it interfere with your daily life. Most people speak through their asses and have no idea what the hell they are even on about, but be kind because everyone is fighting their battles at some point of time. When you feel like you are ready and well, rested get up and keep fighting, because of there’s so much more to life out there. Life can be as good as you wish to make it. Nothing is too far or too impossible to reach. Don’t be ashamed of what you currently are or what you have gone through, its who you are. Don’t hate yourself for lack of progress or how slow everything seems to be moving. Don’t be afraid of your wounds it just means you’ve experienced life. You’ve survived it, and it’s made you who you are. It’s part of you and part of your story embrace it and every moment that comes after.

Getting yourself out might seem difficult, and it does take a lot of courage. Sometimes you will find that even while you are out and done dealing with the depression aspect of things, along with the way when you hit negative walls you will find yourself always wondering why you decided to carry on, but remember to hang in there. Remind yourself of the good times. Remind yourself of why you want to continue and set up new goals for yourself. Don’t forget along the way to celebrate every little victory. Remember you are worth it, and fighting isn’t always easy so be easy on yourself like you would treat a friend you love. Remember you aren’t alone, and there are people along the way that love you and care for you. Remind yourself that it’s okay sometimes to talk to people even if you think its silly and of no use, at least you aren’t alone after that point, and they will encourage you along the way. When you feel defeated, they will remind you what you are fighting for and renew your strength once more.

Somewhere along the way I know I will read this and go well, what the hell did I know? But I know all this because I did it all once before and if I am met with the challenge again I know I will be able to handle whatever gets thrown my way cause I beat it once before.

“When you’re lost in those woods, it sometimes takes you a while to realise that you are lost. For the longest time, you can convince yourself that you’ve just wandered off the path, that you’ll find your way back to the trailhead any moment now. Then night falls again and again, and you still have no idea where you are, and it’s time to admit that you have bewildered yourself so far off the path that you don’t even know from which direction the sun rises anymore.”

― Elizabeth Gilbert-

Remember this is when friends, family, strangers and you can find your way out if you just believe, trust, have some faith and you will surprise yourself.

Never stop fighting to find your way out.

Love always

Keep Believing.