TORONTO – On the heels of handing out more than $2.3 million in retention bonuses to its five top executives, Postmedia, Canada’s largest, least solvent newspaper chain, has announced that it will be re-hiring several journalists it recently laid off to staff an upcoming holiday work event.

“The Christmas party is really going to be a win-win,” said Paul Godfrey, CEO of Postmedia, who took home a $900,000 bonus to stay on-board. “We’ve been wanting to host a little get-together to celebrate how successful we’ve been this year, and all of a sudden, there’s all these unemployed people available to run it! It’s really too perfect.”

Former Postmedia journalists are being re-employed en masse for the company’s annual get-together. They will be assigned positions – waiter, valet, DJ, or restroom attendant – depending on the number of National Newspaper Awards they won in their former careers.

Godfrey, who has presided over hundreds of layoffs, huge losses, drastically declining print sales, and the closing of newsrooms in cities across Canada, had his contract with Postmedia Network Inc. extended by two years at the beginning of November. He says that the party is also a chance for Postmedia to show it cares.

“Look, I get it, it hasn’t all been good. I mean, I’m taking home about $100,000 less than I did in 2015, and Andrew [MacLeod, Postmedia’s Chief Operating Officer] is just going to have to make do with a $425,000 bonus for the year. But what we’re trying to say to our employees is: even if tough times, we’re with you. There’ll always be a job for you at Postmedia – if not as a reporter, then why not as a server?”