Christine E. Nunn

Every once in a while, I love visiting the spots in the area that have been here as long as I have – some longer by far. Most of these old-school restaurants and take-out spots serve nothing too healthy, just a complete low-brow indulgence in fun yum. So, over the course of the summer, I visited some of the most wonderful bad food around. I picked spots with longevity. No trends here. Just honest time-honored classics: the food-track to an old-time Bergen County gal’s life. Not that it matters, but the soundtrack for these road trips had a lotta Led Zeppelin going on.

If you haven’t been to these spots, I strongly suggest a visit. It is absolutely food history and North Jersey history all wrapped up in one greasy, decadent meal.

Steve’s Sizzling Steaks, Carlstadt

The steak at Steve’s most certainly sizzles. The blend of butter and what I would venture to guess is Maggie sauce spatters and sings on a piping hot platter of steak creating its memorable sauce. The fries closest to the bottom of that sizzling hot platter get extra crunchy and end up drenched in sauce and butter. The atmosphere is timeless: fishing rods, taxidermy, vintage pictures of hunting and fishing, vinyl booths; everything about it makes me happy. Boy, the air inside the restaurant is heavy with the smell of that buttery good grease from all those sizzle platters. Your meal will be truly unforgettable because you and your clothes will smell like a sizzling steak until you shower and do some laundry.

Go: 620 Route 17 South, Carlstadt; 201-438-9677, steves-sizzling-steaks.com.

Pizzatown USA, Elmwood Park

A slice of pizza, hot out of the oven, dripping with olive oil, and eaten in the parking lot is pure joy. The sauce is zippy, the crust crunchy to a tee. Wash it down with a birch beer. As you eat, savor the view of this vintage little building, with a parking lot that has held generations and generations of people doing just what you are.

Go: 89 Route 46, Elmwood Park; 201-797-6172, facebook.com/ptownusa.

River View East, Elmwood Park

A stone’s throw from Pizzatown, the mid-century home of this sweet little dive screams Happy Days. My favorite detail? Milk on tap. It’s somehow colder, creamier, and, okay, reminiscent of a school cafeteria. Use it to wash down an excellent chicken salad club sandwich or a cheeseburger with their signature chili sauce. Eat in a nifty booth or take it (your to-go will be wrapped in white paper and secured with a rubber band) to the nearby park/boat launch on the mighty Passaic River.

Go: 455 River Drive, Elmwood Park; 201-797-9258, riverviewrest.com.

Goffle Grill, Hawthorne

Everybody in Jersey has a favorite hot dog spot, and this is on my top five list. The service is fast, the back parking lot harkens back to the days of a drive in, and the chili sauce is tasty, with no spice. Milk on tap is an added bonus. Consider also the excellent hot roast beef sandwich for lunch or dinner.

Go: 1140 Goffle Road, Hawthorne; 973-423-0881, gofflegrill.com.

Shortway’s Barn, Hawthorne

Walk into this local bar and it smells like beer and burgers. The large bar holds a lot of regular visitors, just part of the charm. Grab a sliced steak sandwich at this old school bar and you’ll see why white bread, butter and steak go perfect together. Drink a cold one and toast the long-time owners. Sadly, the joint is for sale. I hope whoever buys it leaves well enough alone.

Go: 991 Goggle Road, Hawthorne; 973-423-9760, shortwaysbarn.com.

Dumont Crystal Diner, Dumont

The Amazing omelette with a side of toast will put some pep in your morning step. This tiny railroad car diner is the epitome of a local greasy spoon, only better. You can see the postage-stamp sized kitchen, from which some really tasty food comes out. The griddle is right in front of you, so you see exactly how your deliciousness is being created.

Go: 45 W. Madison Ave., Dumont; 201-387-1212, facebook.com/dumontcrystaldiner.

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New Heritage Diner, Hackensack

If you're called for Jury Duty, odds are good come lunchtime you'll be heading to the Heritage while taking a break from your civic duty. What to order? Get yourself a terrific tuna melt and indulge in the best Jersey diner cheesecake around. Strawberries on top, please.

Go: 80 River St., Hackensack; 201-342-6757, facebook.com/pages/New-Heritage-Diner.

The Lido, Hackensack

Like the Heritage, the Lido is a Hackensack classic. Jukebox, paneling, shades of red, slightly musty: legit 1970s. Famous for their thin-crust pizza, but that no reason not to order their classic steak sandwich or chicken parmesan.

Go: 701 Main St., Hackensack; 201-487-8721.

Lee’s Hawaiian Islander, Lyndhurst

Lee’s Hawaiian is a Polynesian dream. The place probably looks the same as when it opened in the early 1970s. My dining buddy said she felt like she was part of the Brady Bunch’s trip to Hawaii. Me? I felt like I was on Gilligan’s Island. Both of us felt giddy with glee at the good old-fashioned Poo Poo Platter for two. It’s the best fun you can have with food for 19 bucks. The requisite shrimp toasts were melt-in-your-mouth crunchy fatty goodness, the ribs meaty with plenty of good marbling and the good thing: the sterno lasted through our cocktails. Speaking of which, the Mai Tai was perfection, and the Blue Hawaiian was heaven. For those lamenting Chan’s Waikiki, this is the closest thing you will find.

Go: 768 Stuyvesant Ave. Lyndhurst; 201-939-3777, facebook.com/pages/category/Chinese-Restaurant/Lees-Hawaiian-Islander.