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If you want to dabble in conspiracy theories, allowing your imagination to run wild with unverified paranoia there is no better place to live out your extreme thoughts than Cyprus.

Cypriots believe there is no simple explanation for anything, even if you can smell and touch the truth that doesn’t mean its reliable or trustworthy.

Politics is smoke and mirrors, Machiavellian in nature in an arena of shapeshifters, changing philosophies, facts without figures wrapped in propaganda for the sake of impact not, substance.

What you see is not what you get in Cyprus. It is usually something less tangible, like a feeling you’ve been robbed by a politician but can’t find what’s been taken from you, although you know it’s definitely gone.

Cypriots don’t need a second invitation to think there is something bigger at play when it comes to politics. They believe there is always a major power pulling the strings behind the scenes to prevent the island from being reunified or truly independent.

Whatever the politics, there is always a scapegoat to avoid accountability or responsibility for failure.

Due to its strategic location, straddled between Europe and the Middle East, Cyprus has some of the largest listening stations to be found.

The British bases have huge eavesdropping facilities on the island while Cyprus has a reputation for being a playground for spooks being able to do business on neutral territory.

It is no coincidence that the US and Russian embassies are close to each other, big enough to house sophisticated surveillance technology, but I wouldn’t worry they are most probably spying on each other.

Why would anyone want to spy on Cyprus, there are no secrets here because everyone knows your business.

Needless to say, most people fear they are being watched or bugged by the intelligence service anyway.

I’m sure there are files on everyone in the name of national security.

Although when it comes to using intelligence to catch real criminals the authorities are found wanting. The last time a spy came to Cyprus, we asked him to turn up at a police station – Guess what?

With Cypriots gloriously suspicious by nature it didn’t take long before the whiff of a spy story spread like a wildfire burning away any common sense that had remained in political discourse.

Espionage theories went into overdrive after police confiscated an Israeli van reportedly loaded with high-tech surveillance equipment. Media reports claimed the vehicle was being hired to spy on people.

Police are still examining the equipment and don’t know quite what to make of it. This hasn’t stopped a news frenzy implying political skulduggery, parties spying on each other, gun-toting Israeli’s and of course a cover-up.

The police probe was initiated after a Forbes video story showed a former Israeli intelligence officer boasting about the $9 million van’s spying capabilities.

Opposition AKEL exploited the case as a vehicle to bash the government with innuendos of dirty tricks, dirty deals and using the police for covert surveillance on Cypriots.

This was all thrown up in the air like a pancake – because whether true or not – the party knew the media would lap this up as Cypriots are inclined to believe that secrets hide in the shadows.

I’m not sure AKEL would have been so keen if it was a Russian van cruising around with world-class hacking equipment.

Nevertheless, AKEL, inspired by the Trump impeachment process, had a “What did the President know and when did he know it?” moment.

Neither President Anastasiades nor the police could be seen to be concealing evidence, even if there was nothing to hide, so the black van became a political (straight to DVD) blockbuster.

Those inclined to believe something more sinister is going on will view the truth as inconsequential, deeming the authorities liable to hush it up so as not to embarrass powerful individuals or governments.

The Israeli firm denies it conducted any operation in Cyprus or spied on individuals. It said the van was used to test company-owned devices.

Even if they were professional spooks, the last thing they would be doing is cruising around Larnaca in broad daylight in a blacked-out ambulance-type vehicle with Israeli number plates.

WiSpear says it sells surveillance and hacking equipment to governments, military and national security agencies to fight terrorism. It doesn’t go around spying on people cheating on their partners.

I would be more worried about big tech selling your personal data and tracking your online behaviour rather than a spymobile parked down the street in the best tradition of a John le Carré novel.