Jesse, Wells’ Einstein of a daughter, has been bummed out about being stuck on Earth-One, and her negative energy has thrown my chi seriously out of whack. So, I decided to show her just how awesome this world could be. Introducing, Cisco’s Central City Sightseeing Tour! Check us out on Yelp. Now, this wasn’t going to be just any tour (no buses or megaphones here). I had to make it interesting, so I amped up some Segways with a couple Kawasaki 4-cylinder supercharged engines Wally hooked me up with. It took some teeth pulling to get Jesse to go - tourism wasn’t high on her to-do list - and she was even less thrilled when I brought out matching retro helmets complete with goggles and leather chinstrap. Safety first, kids!

Central City is jam-packed with hotspots: we’ve got museums, restaurants, skate parks, and clubs galore. As we zigzagged our way through the streets, I tossed out all kinds of trivia I snagged from some books I had checked out on Central City’s history – but Jesse couldn’t care less about the revolutionary installation of the sewer system back in the 1900s. My efforts at cheering her up were failing miserably! I had to do some quick thinking. When I was younger, I basically lived at the CC Arcade – who doesn’t love a good video game?! I rerouted us to the old strip mall, grabbed a couple of orange sodas and exchanged a crisp fifty for a bucket o’ quarters. Turns out, Jesse is a total boss at video games. She wiped out my high score on Q*bert her first try and she knew every secret move to Mortal Kombat. I challenged her to Street Fighter II, but her Blanka knocked out my Ryu in under two minutes! After an hour at the arcade, Jesse was over it - nothing was challenging enough for her - and she ditched me. I was so wrapped up in Dance Dance Revolution (Bust a Move is my JAM) that I didn’t even notice her jumping on her ride and speeding away. I only noted she was gone when I twisted my ankle trying to pull a Michael Jackson spin and had to take a breather. I dashed to my ride and tailed her. She led quite the chase (for real, this could’ve been featured on Hot Pursuit) and I kicked myself for souping up the Segways with such powerful engines – these babies are hardly street legal! She weaved in and out of traffic, turned on a dime down alleyways, and almost lost me in a roundabout. Now, the Central Cities on Earths One and Two may be eerily similar, but there are a few distinct differences - the hydraulic-jacked sewer system, for one (take that, trivia!). Her Segway caught the lip of an elevated sidewalk and she ate some serious pavement (bet she was grateful for that helmet, huh?). We were right near CC Jitters, so I steered her inside for an all-curing Frappuccino.

We snagged a window table and sipped our drinks – something about the mellow coffeehouse vibes seemed to soothe Jesse. I could tell there was something weighing on her mind, though, so between brain freezes we played twenty questions. Turns out, she’s been losing sleep over the Man in the Iron Mask that we left in Zoom’s clutches. Makes sense, right? He was basically her prison buddy and it’s only natural that she’s worried about him. She was on a major guilt trip for ignoring him and his tapping. Was he trying to warn us that Jay was about to be killed? As we slurped up our drinks, I started thinking about the Man in the Iron Mask’s true identity. He wasn’t my doppelganger (may he rest in peace), nor Caitlin’s, Barry’s, or Iris’…. Who (on any Earths) could it be?! Guess it’s a problem for another day – right now, I need to schedule a rematch with Jesse for Street Fighter II – I’ve got a reputation to protect!