DENVER—Noting that absolute devotion was the key to seducing a potential partner, relationship experts recommended Friday that it’s best to tell a woman that you would die for her at the outset of a first date. “Time and time again, we’ve found that the best way for a man to win the heart of a lady is to immediately swear upon being introduced that he would lay down his life for her,” said professional dating coach Martha Saunders, explaining that ideally, a man should mention that he would gladly take a bullet for a woman before sitting down at the table or making any small talk, since one doesn’t get a second chance to make a first impression. “If the woman doesn’t say it back to him immediately, he mustn’t worry. He should just keep reminding her throughout the meal that his last indrawn breath will be taken so that his last word may be her name. And on the practical side, it might also help to bring up any do-not-resuscitate orders and that you’ve already made her the sole benefactor in your will.” Saunders added that, if the date somehow still isn’t going well, it’s in a man’s best interest to communicate the sincerity and intensity of his feelings by threatening to kill the woman.

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