Disclaimer: I don't own Evangelion and other Anno's shits like Gunbuster.

A/N: I watched 12 Monkeys recently, i have obsession for good ol' action movies, and i also obsessed toward Evangelion. So, here you go.

Shinji Ikari, a seven years old kid, and possibly the winner of the saddest kid on earth since 2004 for three years nomination.

He was also the world's only hope.

Soon, in his earlier teenagehood, he would be piloting a giant robot called Evangelion, made by GEHIRN as a part of their project E, which coincidentally, was the project that his parents worked on before the tragic death of his mother, Yui Ikari, who disappeared on the botched test for the EVA core. After her death, his father, Gendo Ikari, sent his little child to one of his colleague, claimed that he didn't need him anymore so his kid wouldn't want him anymore. But instead, the boy felt guilty, wanting his father's attention even more. In short, it was one big, vicious cycle of misunderstanding.

And one man was there, ready to fix that.

"Ready to go, Shinji?"

"Y...yes, Mr. Willis," The boy answered nervously.

The bald former actor had been one of, to describe it shortly, one of his very few friend. Shinji didn't know why, but he felt like he could trust him fully. Even when he showed how his father was in the wrong, he couldn't stay angry at him for more than a moment, while he chewed strangers for even saying strange rumors about his father. But even with their closeness, the boy still wasn't very comfortable. Then again, he never was with anyone.

Soon, the boy was on Willis's Bentley Continental. It was one of Willis's more comfortable car, especially since all his other cars were classic car without air-conditioning. Ever since Third Impact, the whole Japan became one hell of a hot country, and Willis didn't want to make the frail kid catching cold by opened the roof on one of his classic convertible.

"Shinji...i'm sorry for your sensei's death. I don't know him to well, but from what i see...well, he was a good man." Said Willis, who showed deep sympathy toward the poor boy. Although emotion that showed more than sympathy also appeared on his wrinkled face.

"Y..yeah...he was...i just wish he could really care more about me..." Shinji said as he really meant it. Sensei was taking care of him well, but they never really close. Both were on fault for this matter, but the man definitely could've done more.

"Yeah. You two were never really close." He said as they just passed their neighborhood.

"A...are you sure that i...can really live with you? I knew...s-some orphanage that would accept me here. I mean, my image wasn't that bad, Mr. Willis. Yeah, i struck Hide and Yosuke once, but-"

"Shinji," The bald man stopped his car at one of the stop and turned around, showing some kind, and yet determined look as he gazed at the boy, "I thought i already said this. I don't want to adopt you because i have to. I'm doing this because i want to. I want you to be happy, Shinji. Everyone deserves their happiness."

Happy... that was the word that reminded him of the hazy, and yet good time. The time when he was once a happy, outgoing kid for once. The time when she was still alive.Mother...

Willis noticed the tear that was forming on Shinji's eyes. He reached out toward the eyes to wipe out the tears. Instead, the boy's sobs became even louder. "What's wrong, Shinji?"

"Mommy...I miss my mommy..."

The man opted to say nothing, letting the boy to cried out his bottled emotions instead. Soon when his cry died down, he pulled a photo from his pocket. The content inside the photo surprised the boy, as the good memories from his earlier years flood into him. Not much, but good enough to make him remember.

"Mother!" He turned around to stare at the man in front of him, "How did you get this?"

"I have connections, Shinji. That's all i can say. Now, do you trust me?"

Shinji only nodded slowly as his response. And soon, they drove into a quiet, but comfortable silence as both of them contemplating their situation.

Willis finally succeed. After he was sent back into the past to save the world from the imminent Third Impact, he found himself frustrated by his situation. His attempt to save some of the Second Impact victim was futile, and the one that he succeed...well, the boy still traumatized by the event. To make things even worse, he suspected that some of his attempt to reach his fellow actor and actresses to join his cause created some villains he had to face soon or later instead. But his luck has been turned around recently, and Shinji Ikari became one of the ensemble of his team that he called The Expendables, which was fitting the nature and self-description of a certain girl who became key to all of this, was just one of his string of successes.

Soon, the boy would find himself stumbled into a very colorful life, certainly better than his previous one, filled with appropriate training to prepare him for his future as the pilot of the Evangelion. And not to mention the sheer star power around his life soon. He had Seagal who taught him various martial arts, Jackie Chan and Jet Li taught him how to fight people with grace and speed without actually hurting them more than needed (in case those Seagal's bone-snapping signature moves were not... appropriate for the situation), Pierce Brosnan was there to train him in spying, and most importantly, Stallone, Schwarzenegger and Willis himself also trained him to become a soldier with sense of humor and savviness. His favorite line was Arnie's 'I lied...', which he would've used toward a guy who was an asshole enough to be killed in cold blood by a scrawny kid.

Also, he got trained into other things, like how to blow things up with Lundgren's bombs, or how to meditate by Chuck Norris. Maybe chosing some good cologne by Terry Crews and boxing by Carl Weathers as well.

But most importantly, he learned how to love, be loved, and giving love.

"Ouch!"

"Are you okay?" The man asked him out of concern, betraying his big frame and his primadonna image in hollywood.

"I'm fine, Mr. Seagal. Really. I'm fine..."

"Good then. How about a little rest? It's already 10 O'clock here."

"How about we just ditch this side kick training, Mr. Seagal? I...i don't think i can do it, after all..."

Seagal's expression changed into something more pissed. He then slapped the little boy hard with his towel.

"Ow!", Shinji reacted accordingly, and then looked right at the man who trained him. To say the least, he was pissed.

"There you go again, selling yourself short, telling yourself that you're a worthless, talentless little kid. It's good to have a little humility Shinji, but how are you going to progress if you don't even think you can do it in the first place? Tell me, Shinji. Was Napoleon, or all those emperor, conquered many lands while they keep whining about how they're not going to do it? No. They do it, because they know that they can!"

"S...sorry, Mr. Seagal..."

Seagal sighed, and slapped Shinji again, "That too.", And again, "It's good and not going to hurt to humiliate yourself a bit. I know some cultures are more toward humiliating themselves to show their humbleness, Japanese included. But you, Shinji...you saying you're sorry, not because you're humble, but because you're afraid of the others. You're afraid to be hurt more by them, so you say sorry, so people will move on, and never bring it again! Was what i say right, kid?"

Shinji didn't say anything to rebuke or confirm what Seagal said, so Seagal simply rolled his eyes, left him alone to wondering what he just said. Shinji nearly left them after that, but at the gate, he saw Willis, all by his own. Both of them didn't say anything, save a scorn from Shinji, and a smile from the bald actor. And soon, he remembered Willis's words that they cared for him, and so he revoked his decision.

Soon, Shinji learned his cure for his anxiety disease.

Pride.

"How is the kid?"

"Pretty good now," Willis answered toward the other expendable's founder, Sylvester Stallone. Instead of being satisfied, Seagal groaned for his own reason that soon to be voiced.

"How on earth, did defeate Shao Kahn on Mortal Kombat II, was the necessary thing to give Shinji a boost to his pride of all thing?"

"We're living in a mad world, Sly. And understanding someone, is impossible 100%."

Seagal rolled his eyes, knew who spewed that bullshit, who again would be revealed by his voice, "That Ikari's bullshit again...You really believed that?"

"Gendo has a lot of self issues, but he has a point there. After all, people have their grandeur of delusion when they describe themselves. There's a reason why doctor never diagnosed themselves."

"If that's so..." Sly nearly lit a cigarette, but a loud explosion made him lose his grip toward his lighter, "Damn," Sly groaned as he reached down toward his smoke, "Shinji and Lundgren?"

"Nah. Schwarzenegger and Shinji, blowing some C4."

"Same shit."

Both then simply enjoyed themselves, knew that this time, God was really in heaven, and all is really right in the world...

Teaser/Omake

"Ayanami!"

"Pi...pilot Ikari?"

Rei then looked at her monitor. She saw Shinji with swollen eyes and burned hands. With mobs and reporters around him. And the final bell playing.

"Do you want a rematch between Ramiel and you, Shinji?"

"No. I don't want a rematch!"

"Tonight we have had the privilege of witnessing the greatest exhibition of sharpshooting in the history of giant robot fight!"

"Ayanami!"

"Ikari..."Said Rei, as everyone else tried to open her plug hatch.

"Ladies and Gentleman, we have a rightful knockout here!"

"SHINJI! SHINJI! SHINJI!"

"Ayanami!"

"Ikari!"

"Why there won't be a rematch?"

"The thing's already dead, dammit!"

"And the winner, still an undefeated, with the record 3-0, our World Titanweight Championship all around the world!"

"Ayanami!"

"Ikari!"

"Shinji IIIIIIIIKAAARIIIIII!"

And then, Rei and Shinji hugged and kissed each others.

"Shinji..."

"Rei...Hail to the king, baby!"

And then, they kissed again. And then, Rei began to unzipped her plug suit and-(Lemon, pls.)

Meanwhile, Arnold held Gendo in the edge of a cliff. With his weak arm.

"Remember Ikari when i promised to kill you last?"

"Wait. I don't remember-"

"I lied."

*Drop*

"ORARAAAAAAAAA!"*Thud