As I got older I realised that my black-and-white view of the world wasn’t quite realistic. Sometimes things aren’t black or white, but blurred somewhere in between. It would be more pragmatic to say that the world is in 50 Shades Of Grey, but I won’t go there. Not in this review.

What I do believe is black-and-white though, are people who love cum and people who don’t. No one just, “kind-of maybe sort of sometimes likes cum, a little bit”. You either love it or you don’t.

I love it. It’s like saying the party’s over, but we’re gonna keep on partying. And who doesn’t love a good after party? Probably people who go to bed at midnight. But I won’t get into that. Not in this review.

When I first tried Dragon Cum Lube, my co-worker Stephen came to visit me at work and had me place the product in the palm of my hand. It was incredibly realistic. It was sticky, it looked like cum, it had the exact consistency of cum, and it even smelled like cum. It was kind of beautiful. The attention to detail was extraordinary.

You would honestly not be able to tell the difference between this and cum. Perhaps if you smell it for a really long time, you’ll pick up a hint of floral which may make you suspect it’s not cum. But no one’s going to do that, for fear of being branded that weirdo who goes around smelling people’s cum. And I won’t get into that. Not in this review.

Next I tried the Bad Dragon Clear Cum Lube. Once again, the consistency, attention to detail and general feel was amazing. After all, it’s made to feel like cum. However, it lost points for me personally, on a visual aspect. It’s clear so it looks like saliva, and your brain would think it’s cum if your eyes were closed, but if you see it, it looks like spit. This can be hot and I don’t deny that, but I’m here for the cum and not saliva.

Both the Bad Dragon Cum Lubes are water-based which is great, and means they can be used with silicone or rubber toys and not deteriorate the toy or feel gritty.

Off the top of my head, some great situations to use these lubes in would be alone, especially if you’re going through a tough break up and you don’t want to meet people but you still want to experience cum. Or as part of safe sex play with condoms but still want to experience cum. Or as part of a porn where they’re shooting a bareback scene with one guy or girl who receives multiple loads from multiple participants to maintain the magic of cinema and make it look realistic. I could probably get further into that – but not in this review.

Last but not least, I had the opportunity to try the Bad Dragon Foaming Antibacterial Toy Cleaner. It was literally a godsend. Well, not literally, but I happen to be anal retentive – pun intended – about hygiene. So to have a cleaner that’s anti-microbial and disinfectant was great. The best part about it was that it has a gentle foaming cleansing effect so it doesn’t feel as intrusive as some other cleaners, and it doesn’t feel like the toy soaks in the cleaner.

If it sounds weird to you that I feel like my toy has soaked in a cleaner before, it’s probably because you’re not anal retentive. Also cleaners with strong or harsh odours can leave an imprint on toys which is why Bad Dragon’s toy cleaner being odourless is perfect.

Overall, I highly recommend the Bad Dragon Cum Lube. I kind-of maybe sometimes sort of like the Clear Bad Dragon Cum Lube, a little bit, and the Toy Cleaner trumps all other cleaners that I’ve tried before. If you’re looking for a realistic cum substitute, it doesn’t get any closer than Bad Dragons Cum Lube. If you’re not a cum lover you can probably use the Clear Bad Dragon Cum Lube as lubricant and the sensation it provides is fairly similar to luxurious saliva. The cleaner is a must-have for anyone who has a toy. For the people who think that they can get away with just using soapy water on their toys, I don’t want to judge you but… I’m not going to get into that. Not in this review.

You should definitely check out a complete guide on personal lubricant to find out more information.

Author: Isaac is a consultant from Oh Zone Adult Lifestyle CentresSave

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Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not! adultsmart.com.au

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