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Nightmare Scenario: President Ron Paul

My undying opposition to whack job Ron Paul | 11/8/11 | Alan Levy

Posted on by Absolutely Nobama

In an alternate universe........

President Paul entered the White House Situation Room in a huff. It was about 4pm, and he was cranky. Everyone knew not to disturb President Paul during Judge Judy, but this was a national security emergency. The CIA now had definitive proof that the Islamic Republic of Iran had placed intercontinental ballistic missiles in Venezuela.

"Mr. President," began Major General Major, the Commandant of the Marine Corps and Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. "The Iranians have placed ICBM's on the northern coast of Venezuela. We're not sure about the capabilities of these weapons of mass destruction, but we have confirmation that they could reach Miami if launched. I recommend we strike now. We can scramble the bombers immediately."

President Paul smiled kindly at Major General Major. He forgot all about having his Judge Judy time interrupted and his mind wandered back to how much fun he and the media had after Major General James Major became Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff. "Major General Major....has a ring to it...." President Paul said to himself softly.

"Sir ?'

"Back off, fascist!" Chief of Staff Lew Rockwell screamed at the decorated war hero. "Can't you see a great man is thinking ?!"

"Enhance your calm, Lew," said Vice President Dennis Kucinich in a kindly voice."That yelling and screaming stuff was okay when the Zionists ran the place, but the White House is a place of understanding now. It's a place where we exchange ideas and hope, not hate and animosity."

"You're right, Mr. Vice President. I don't know what came over me."

President Paul looked over to his Secretary of Defense, Jesse Ventura. "What's going on here, Jesse ?"

"I dunno, Mr. President", shrugged Ventura. "I've been trying to get a hold of National Security Advisor [Alex] Jones all day. I know he's very busy with his fourth 9/11 investigation, but why this guy can't answer a text is beyond me."

Secretary of State Pat Buchanan stood up from his chair. "Mr. President, If I may," the old paleoconservative began. "You must live up to your promise not to interfere in the affairs of other states. Remember that stump speech you made at 'Occupy Wall Street' ? Remember how you promised to end all war and bring peace to mankind ? You must make good on that pledge. Those kids in the tents are counting on you."

President Paul smiled. Mentions of "Occupy Wall Street" always made him happy. "You're right, Pat. You're always right. Even when you're wrong, you're right. This a much-to-do-over-nothing. We can't be sure if the CIA is right. After all, those are violent people, and we all know that violent people are never right. Get on the horn, Pat. Ask Hugo nicely to remove the missiles if it all possible. If they don't, well, that's ok. Both Iran and Venezuela know that this is a different America now. They would never harm us. We're a good, non-imperialist country now."

President Paul turned to the nearest door to leave.

"No, no....Mr. President, that's a closet," Vice President Kucinich said putting his hand on the President's shoulder. "Lew, help me get him to bed. Why we have these meetings so late in the day is beyond me."

Two weeks later, the city of Miami was destroyed by Iranian made ICBMs launched from Venezuela's northern coast.



TOPICS:

Government

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Military/Veterans

Politics

KEYWORDS:

ronpaul

ronpaulisamoron

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Angry Ron Paul supporters in 5...4...3...2...1.... INCOMING!



To: Absolutely Nobama

Sure I’ll bite... All that and nothing substantive, measurable, or significant to say or argue? I don’t care whether FOR or AGAINST...but come...if the best you can do is ad-hom, slander, and smear...why waste FR disk space? =8-)



To: Absolutely Nobama

Herman Cain is imploding, Holder is testifying on Fast & Furious, & you choose to post about this?



Seriously, what is your problem troll?



To: Absolutely Nobama

Very good, though the last line was not needed. Leave a little to the imagination.



To: Allegra; humblegunner

ping



by 5 posted onby thackney (life is fragile, handle with prayer)

To: thackney





To: LucyT; shibumi; MestaMachine; Vanders9; RonBush; Eleutheria5; FlyingEagle; Clock King; mnehring; ...

LOL at Ron Paul Ping!



by 7 posted onby Absolutely Nobama (Chairman Obama And Ron Paul Are Sure Signs The Republic Is In Serious Trouble. God Help Us All.)

To: Absolutely Nobama

I would prefer wack job Ron Paul to our current wack job. At least there might be a chance that government spending would be reduced. As for whoever the frontrunner is on the GOP side, I’m losing hope and I don’t think I’m alone there. There’s one candidate for 2012 we need to rid the government of. His name is Barack.



To: Absolutely Nobama

Not angry. Considering you and your ilk (gee I haven't used that perjorative before, and it feels icky) often project your fantasies upon Ron Paul and his minions (again with the silliness) a certain lunacy, which seems to have taken root in this rather poorly written imaginary scenario. Furthermore, considering that you really don't understand Ron Paul nor his minions, any attempts at fortune-telling are not only mere conjecture, but substantially wrong as well.



To: Absolutely Nobama; thackney

Heh! Well done, dead-on and just one more thing to make me sigh with relief that Ron Paul will never be our President.



by 10 posted onby Allegra (Hey! Stop looking at my tagline like that.)

To: =8 mrrabbit 8=

I think there’s plenty there. Slander ? What slander ?



by 11 posted onby Absolutely Nobama (Chairman Obama And Ron Paul Are Sure Signs The Republic Is In Serious Trouble. God Help Us All.)

To: Absolutely Nobama

Can’t you come up with a more sensible game of “let’s pretend?”



To: Minus_The_Bear

“Herman Cain is imploding” He is ? According to RCP he’s currently beating the tar out of Cut and Run Paul, correct ? “Seriously, what is your problem troll?” Two words: Ron Paul. I thought I made that perfectly clear with this post.



by 13 posted onby Absolutely Nobama (Chairman Obama And Ron Paul Are Sure Signs The Republic Is In Serious Trouble. God Help Us All.)

To: Absolutely Nobama

I would vote for RP over perry, romney, hunts, santorum, etc.



by 14 posted onby GlockThe Vote (The Obama Adminstration: 2nd wave of attacks on America after 9/11)

To: MichaelNewton

I’m not much of a fiction writer, I’m still learning the ins and outs of it.... Thanks for the kind words. Good to see you again, BTW.



by 15 posted onby Absolutely Nobama (Chairman Obama And Ron Paul Are Sure Signs The Republic Is In Serious Trouble. God Help Us All.)

To: Absolutely Nobama

Don’t quit your day job to become a comedy writer.



by 16 posted onby GSWarrior (Click HERE to read the entire post.)

To: yup2394871293

If the main goal is to get rid of Barry, why would anyone vote for someone who has the same foreign policy ? For the last three-plus years, we’ve heard that America sucks from Barry. Why continue it with RuPaul ?



by 17 posted onby Absolutely Nobama (Chairman Obama And Ron Paul Are Sure Signs The Republic Is In Serious Trouble. God Help Us All.)

To: yup2394871293

I would prefer wack job Ron Paul to our current wack job. At least there might be a chance that government spending would be reduced. You and me both. Hell, we're living under a nightmare scenario RIGHT NOW (I'm not a RuPaul supporter, FWIW).



by 18 posted onby Marathoner (Occupy Wall Street = Useful Idiots on Parade)

To: Minus_The_Bear

So your saying we need to stick to your approved issues in order to keep you happy? Well why don’t you inform us of other topics that are off limits like Paul’s unfitness for the Presidency.



To: Absolutely Nobama

Ron Paul is certainly not my choice for president, but we could do a LOT worse than a guy that wants to gut the Federal Government more aggressively than anyone else.



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