Well that didn't last long.

Barely 24 hours after Spanish tabloid El Confidencial boldly declared that Romelu Lukaku was on his way to Atletico Madrid, to spend the next season (on loan) striking fear into the hearts of subpar Spanish defenders while helping Filipe Luis come to Chelsea at the same time, the same tabloid has now dramatically declared that Diego Simeone has pulled the plug on 'Operation Lukaku.' That makes Simeone the Denzel Washington to El Confidencial's Gene Hackman. What a movie that was! They're fueling their missiles!

Anyway, here are the new CONFIDENTAL, on the QT and very hush-hush details:

...

Actually, I really don't care. The paper made up a story and now they've denied it. That's two birds with zero stones. Highly efficient, really. The scientist who are trying to discover cold fusion really should look to the Spanish press for answers on how to create something out of nothing.

Alternatively, there is a small chance that there was a story but Atletico are signing Mario Mandzukic instead. Or they're signing Fernando Torres. Come on you guys, don't you want your boy to go home and be adored by his fans? It's impossible for strikers to fail at Atletico; I bet y'all could get even Torres firing...

(Shhh!)