

I’m not a materialistic person. I don’t like “stuff” at all really. I don’t like expensive handbags or fancy clothes. I don’t like gadgets or jewelry. I really don’t. Sometimes I wish I could just shove every item in my messy, cluttered house into a trash bag and kick it to the curb. That said, there are a few non-thing things that I would love to get for Mother’s Day:

A nap. I’m so tired. Always so, so, so tired. I went into labor at night after a long day ten years ago, and I don’t think I’ve recovered since. A day alone. Alllllll byyyyyyyyyy myself. Just wanna be alllllll by myself. Silence. I just want a day without shouting. Or crying. Or screaming. And it would be nice if the kids didn’t do any of that either. A clean house. That I didn’t clean. My pre-kid abs. Because you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone. My pre-kid boobs. See #5. My pre-kids brain. Wait … what was I saying? My pre-kids coolness. I just want to be hip and relevant again and be able to use “swag money” in a sentence without sounding like a middle-aged dork. A GNO. A girl’s night out where we actually all stay awake past 9pm and don’t talk about our kids. Breakfast in a restaurant. Not breakfast in bed. Not a breakfast lovingly cooked by my family that I have to clean up. A chance to sleep in. Even when I get the rare opportunity to sleep in, I can’t. My body is perpetually stuck on kid time. A vacation. Not an obligation. Not a kidcation. Just a real, old-fashioned sit-by-the-pool-and-do-nothing vacation. Privacy. A trip to the bathroom without an audience. A hot meal. Where I can sit down the ENTIRE time and not be screaming at anyone to get off the table. Love. Actually, I have that in spades, as evidenced by the yearning for #1-14. And if that love comes with a handmade card from my kids I’d be thrilled!

How about you? What would your dream Mother’s Day non-thing gift be?