Any loser can disarm a villain with a fist, machete or well-crafted joke. But it takes a real MacGyver to disarm an opponent with nothing but his wits, fast reflexes and a rabid puppy. Not that there is a rabid puppy in any of these stories, but wouldn't it be cool if there was?

6 A Picture is Worth a Thousand Get The Fuck Out of My Houses

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It started off like any other house robbery in one of Spain's ritziest gated communities. Two thieves armed themselves with knives and made their way into a house filled to the brim with rich guy stuff, only to find a young, attractive woman home alone. So they quickly tied her up and began to threaten and taunt her, as bad guys are apt to do.



A standard Bad Guy.

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Here's about the part where you're probably thinking someone kicked down the door to save the day. Alas, what actually occurred is so much goddamned better.

What Happened Next:

The girl is tied up, completely at their mercy, in a house full of diamonds, fancy mustard and bear skin rugs (this is what rich people fill their homes with, yes?) when the burglars suddenly ran right the hell out of there. Empty handed. Something had freaked them out, but what? A SWAT team? A pack of trained dogs? Nope. It was a picture of the woman's husband:

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Yeah, these guys tried robbing Dolph "Ivan motherfucking Drago"' Lundgren's home and threatened his wife.

This man could break your neck with his tongue, tear your heart out with his eyelashes and kick you in the dick with enough force to leave a mushroom-shaped hole in the brick wall behind you. Standing at six and a half feet tall, with degree in chemical engineering, an IQ of 160 and a black belt in karate, we're not sure why he didn't sense his home was in danger and simply explode into the room.