Why was I brought here, really?

About four and a half years ago, after completing my BSc in Actuarial Science, I came to this country to vacation with my sister who lived here. I had just landed a “decent enough” job very close to my university, which was actually very far from our hometown, and was all set to begin. So I hopped on a plane for two weeks of fun with my older sis with all intentions of returning.

I must let you know – when it comes to education, I am a high achiever. I guess I pride myself in being regarded as “math geek”. I also absolutely hate to miss a good education or career opportunity. And so, when I arrived here I started hunting down jobs like an unleashed stalker! In an absurdly short amount of time, I received an offer which was exactly the position I would have liked to be in. I said goodbye to my first offer, never returned to university land, and began “life” here.

Ironically only one year after I got settled, my older sister enrolled in my former university to further her studies. She and I were separated and I was forced to become more independent. In less than two years I had moved to a much better job – pretty much my dream job in this geographic region, purchased my first car, brand new and straight from the dealer at age 24, and was living life! I had also passed 3 actuarial exams and was well on my way to being a professional actuary!

The greatest blessing since I have been here however began in summer of 2010. I visited Reformed Evangelical Church and about 6 months later, took up membership there. I had missed being an active part of a local body of churches and my spiritual life was spiralling downward because I put other goals above my walk with Christ. Thankfully, God was faithful to hold on to me and root me in a place where I could continue my spiritual growth. Since summer of 2010, life has been very different.

As mentioned in THIS ENTRY, my social life began to change. Not to sound all cliché, but I had strong desires to live a life that was pleasing to God. Those desires were stronger than ever before, and required dramatic change. Many things I previously clinged to for happiness and fulfilment lost my interest as I found complete fulfilment in Christ. More and more I began to hunger for God’s word over my previous ideals like career and leisure. I realised that my job is not as fulfilling as it once was because it lacks the eternal weight I crave from a long-term commitment. In 2011 I met my now husband K, and a year later we were married. This relationship has also brought about a huge leap in my walk with God, as this is my first “real” Christian relationship. As mentioned HERE, K is pursuing a degree in Theological Studies, and we quite likely will be moving to campus 6 flying hours away in the near (ish) future.

So as I evaluate the last 4/5 years of my life, I silently chuckle and marvel at God’s sovereignty in fulfilling His purposes, all while I thought I was pursuing MY goals!

I came here to vacation with my sister. She no longer lives in this country. I stayed here to become a qualified Actuary. It turns out to be less satisfying than I imagined. I purchased T (my dear car) only 2 years ago. Within the next year or so God willing, we’ll have to sell her. I planned to return to my hometown before age 28 and get married to a local. I got married at 25 and will probably have dual citizenship before long. God gave me a wonderful husband right here, years earlier than planned and made me decide against EVER returning home. For anyone who knows me, I absolutely LOVE my hometown and the company of my mom and siblings and other extended family including my three nephews! Clearly, I’m not in control of my life at all!

So I guess the question remains: Why was I really brought here? And I guess the answer is pretty darn obvious! To achieve God’s will in my life, and NOT my own. And that is the answer that I pray will carry me through the rest of life. Why am I here? Why am I doing this? Why did this happen? Why should I go? Why should I stay? ——-> To achieve God’s will in my life, and NOT my own!

1 John 2:16-17 For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life—is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.