I’m not going to lie, I was going to miss having M as my roommate. He’s been my best friend – my one and only guy friend – since college. He was always my go-to when I had issues at work or trouble with a boyfriend and, of course, I was always there for him when he needed support or the proverbial shoulder to cry on. In addition, we were each other’s partner in crime.

And next week he was getting married! I couldn’t believe it. And luckily for me, his fiancé, ___________, and I get along just as well as he and I get along…so much so that she asked me to be one of her bridesmaids. So, there’s none of the fear of losing my guy-friend to marriage…unless they have kids and move away to the suburbs. But we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. I was beside myself to be a part of his special day and nothing was going to kill that excitement.

I was moving one of his boxes stuffed with books, some of them from our college days when a couple of the ones perched precariously at the top of the pile fell. One of them lay on the floor open. It looked like a journal. I had no idea he kept a journal. Well, he does like to write as a hobby so I guess that makes sense. I absentmindedly flipped through the pages and that’s when I noticed my name on one of them! I knew I should respect his privacy…but wouldn’t you be curious as to what your best friend and roommate had to say about you?

M came by an hour later to pick up the rest of his boxes.

“You still haven’t finished packing?” He asked as he made his way to the refrigerator and grabbed two bottles of beer. The last two items in what was once our kitchen. He popped them open and handed me one.

He held his bottle up and said, “Our last drink together in our home of four years. Cheers.” We clinked our bottles together and took a swig.

I stared at him for a few seconds as he took one last look around the apartment. Our apartment. He caught me watching him.

“You’re not going to start getting emotional on me are you?” He asked while wrapping his arm around my neck and kissing the top of my head.

“No!” I laughed nervously. “I am going to miss you, though.”

“Me too.”

He tells me _________ made dinner plans for both of them with a couple of her relatives so he was going to grab his stuff and head home to get ready.

He grabbed a couple of boxes and took them downstairs to his car. I stood in the middle of the near-empty living room, staring at the front door. I thought about last New Years Eve. He had made dinner for us; the two of us. There were candles. He played my favorite CD. Then my phone rang. It was one of our friends telling us to join them at a party up the street. He wanted to stay in but I was in a party mood so I convinced him we should go. There was champagne flowing (of course) and at midnight I kissed my ex who was in attendance.

I was still standing in the same spot when he came back up for the last of his boxes.

“Whoa! You ok?” He asked. “You don’t look too good.”

“Yeah, yeah. I’m great. I will be, at least.”

He picked up the last box and took a few steps towards me.

“Ok,” he said and planted a kiss on my cheek, “I’ll talk to you during the week. And I’m sure __________will be calling you too; panicking about the dresses or flowers or something.”

Just as he was walking out the door, the journal fell to the floor. I reach down to pick it up and placed it back on top of the pile.

I look up at him and he looked directly into my eyes. We stood at the doorway like this for some time, not saying a word. I nodded slightly and he did so in return. We said goodbye as I watched him walk down the stairs for the last time.

Brenda Thornlow is one of the finalists for the 50 Great Writers You Should Be Reading for 2016 contest. To vote for her click here: 50 Great Writers You Should Be Reading

To read more of Brenda Thornlow’s work, including the first two books in the My Life as I Knew It series, visit her pages:

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