Anger of Man 2019-05-14

I do not know if it's a predominantly male specific trait, but I am learning about a type of anger within myself that I am normally unfamiliar with.

It is closer to wrath than rage. But a decisively calculated wrath. I hear over and over things that once made me cringe mildly, now with an agitation that consumes me. But it's not the agitation I focus on when I feel this. It's the solution.

A form of anger to express my feelings and thoughts in the only way they will be heard. And their magnitude understood. It is not a matter of simple disagreements. These things within me are polarized to no end, brewing hatred.

Hatred of society's grave stupidity. Not the kind you can get away with or the kind like riding a motorcycle without a helmet. The kind that destroys people. I found out today that Colorado passed a Red Flag law. Basically, a due process-less case for police to enter your home for the purpose of taking your guns. It has to be the most dangerous thing a police officer can do. And depriving of rights for the gun owner. No doubt, there are good cases for it, but so many people will be affected by it who it has no business to involve. Many sheriffs are saying they will not enforce it, and I applaud them for that.

The news showed 55 asylum seekers heading into Denver's chuches. These did not seem to be legal asylum seekers at all. Somehow we have "sanctuary cities" and "sanctuary states". We have so many states breaking Federal law. This, above all else, should be concerning for the unity of the country. It is cracking into many parts. Some large distinct lines, but it will not crack in half, it will shatter.

I don't have anything against South Americans or Syrians. I think most of them should stay where they are. If they're tough enough to leave their own home country and make it here, they are the people who should be making their own country great. But many of them have no good intentions. Many are deported many times and keep coming back smuggling drugs. And the drug problem I believe would be solved so much by being decrmininalized. I think drugs are horrible but their forced scarcity makes this all a much more dangerous situation.

In my own life I have been affected by illegals. I've known many who were more than fine, but also a hugely disproportionate number damaging those in my life. When I was eleven years old my Mom was driving back home with a family friend. They were in a Jeep Cherokee, one of the 90's models. A Honda Civic with three drunk, illegal Mexicans came across the lane and crashed into the Jeep head on.

The driver fled the country and never took responsibility. His front passenger was in very rough shape, I think in a coma for a long time. The car was completely crushed there. My Mom suffered whiplash and has had a compounding effect of back and neck issues since that she's still working through.

The Jeep was certainly damaged but comparatively unscathed. If the cards had been changed and they were in the Civic and the Mexicans in the Jeep, there's a very, very high chance my Mom would have died or never been the same again. I am grateful my Mom and family friend are ultimately okay, but with the slightest change things would have been completely different.

This did not make me hate illegals.

About six months ago a friend of mine was driving in the snow back home. An illegal in a truck went too fast for the conditions and hit my friend in her basically brand new Subaru. They were both okay, but he was not trying to take responsibility. He was caught, thankfully. He was uninsured. Just like the illegals who hit my Mom.

This did not make me hate illegals.

Most recently, I had about a half dozen illegals dressed in all black crossing near my land in West Texas. I didn't know if it was a military training exercise, drug running, or what. This is 60 miles from the border and not at all a place I would expect them to be. Being out there in the middle of nowhere with them within eyesight and no one else around helped change things for me. These could be the people who break into my trailer looking for supplies. They have no reason to follow our laws and common decency. They are already invading our borders. Would they get spooked off and run off if they saw I had a gun? Probably. But maybe not. Maybe the illegals would, maybe the coyote (person who helps navigate the illegals around) wouldn't. The coyote probably has the most to lose by being outed and the least by killing me. So in my own backyard I have to be vigilant and protect the my right to my property, my land, and my life. In they end they were caught and I've written about this before in more detail, but it really destroys peace of mind.

This did not make me hate illegals.

I've lived in San Antonio for about five years. By far majority Hispanic and a good number illegal. Many cause no trouble. But many do.

We're throwing billions around to Israel, wars that are nothing about the US, but we won't fund completion of the wall? We won't protect our own literal border? We won't stop the 10+ thousand crossers a month in El Paso alone?

Many are not only leaving the door open to the country, without any vetting, without any consideration of safety, but also calling to take my best means of defense away. And further, they are treating illegals better than many veterans. They are giving them aid. These are not legal refugees (who should go back once their home crisis is over), but people who's first knock on our door is breaking our laws. And we help them the most?

How is this tolerated? What are you doing about it? Do you care about your children? Your daughters? The Americans around you displaced by cheaper labor, subsidized with our ridiculous welfare programs?

I paid $2,000 towards building the wall. This is while not having income. If I had more I would keep looking to buy land on the border and offer it up for fencing off. We treat military service members as heroes, but what war have they fought at our footsteps? The war is here, on our soil. Frankly, Border Patrol is what the military should be.

Are we supposed to be okay with Kate Steinle's death? Her shooter, whether accident or not, was deported five times, and had seven felonies. That's only what they caught him for!

To the unlikely case of anyone thinking of walking into this country without abiding by our laws, our customs, and our ethics, you need to stay out. If you are willing to fight to the death for you way in, that is on you and only time will tell which show of force is sufficient in the evolution of mankind. But you have no sympathy from me. You are my enemy. Now I am not saying "all illegals", but how can I tell? How can I tell when you run across the desert, dressed uniformly in all black, on my home turf? If you want to come in peace, come wearing orange, green, I don't care. Talk with your hands up. We don't owe you anything. You should probably just fix your own home country. The one that your people already wrecked.

When our country is wrecked I don't want to come knocking on your door. I want to fight to the death to keep some semblance of sanity in mine, in my own home. I would rather die than throw my arms up and let completely anti-American, anti-liberty, anti-white, anti-male, anti-female, anti-everything zealots run our country into the ground. Sadly, America's death is most likely not from the extraordinarily evil, but the ordinarily apathetic. Too afraid to stick out like a sore thumb admitting even to have voted for Trump who's still a Zionist puppet (and yes, I'll probably vote for him again because we have no better other option at this time). Spouses leave eachother over politics now. Families should be one united front. Maybe not always agreed on the little details, but aligned on what's important. I think in the quest to have people, to have anyone, so many of us clam up and shy away from what we really think and feel. We can't just agree to disagree because both sides are somehow heaven vs hell, Hitler vs Ghandi, Jesus vs Satan. Which is so, so far from the truth. But yet opposing ideas are not given any platform, so they grow more and more extreme. The complete unacceptance of other ideas pushes us into greater and greater circle jerking until we can't tell our hand from theirs. It all feels the same. And any hint of something different, we cringe and lash out. The wrong thinking outsider is pushed away.

If society ever tips over into being semi-conservative, the same issues will be at play. Pushing others away for wrongthink. Not considering any other ideas. No loyalty to the truth, only loyalty to the majority to shapeshift into a worthless scum with no identity, no confidence, and no value other than that of clay to be molded into a brick and stepped on.

So why am I angry? I start to see the issues that I thought shouldn't affect me ultimately end up that way. I like leaving people alone. I don't want to get in anyone else's business, at all. I just don't want people messing with mine. The slightest change and I would've lost my Mother. What is a man, what is a woman without love? Without a mother's love? Without a father's love? The family is being taken away from us. Somehow the internet society, school, and government can take better care of children than parents. Somehow frienship and generosity is replaced with faceless welfare. Our bonds are broken apart more and more.

I wonder if this is all an illusion and it's just a matter of perspective. Maybe the issue is simply that we are too connected. I could imagine the end of TV and Internet being our salvation. I hope it's not, but I have to wonder. The human mind can only handle so much, so many inputs. And progressively the TV channels, Youtube, social media, websites, are all designed to peg our dopamine to the limit until reality looks like a foggy dream. If it's not flashy, outrageous, beautiful, horrific, and either the greatest or the worst, it gets ignored. The attention pyramid has way too much attention to a select few and not even the time of day to everyone else.

If I didn't see the blood gushing from my soil I'd have been happy to be married with kids and minding my own business. Maybe some motorcycle rides, have a machine shop. I'd love that.

The red pill is not an easy one to take.