As groin-grabbingly transcendent as The Simpson family are, there is always a vital need to pad out their hijinks with those of some of the more minor residents of Springfield. Here is a list of the best things that 35 of these characters have come out with. Some of them have more major roles and some are so peripheral that they’re actually teetering on the edge of existence. But, during at least one point in their over-shadowed lives, they’ve said one glorious line that’s stolen the show. The following is an ode to them.

Keep up the good work, boss at the cracker factory…

Outraged Australian Man

“900 dollarydoos?!”

Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

“…one of the most popular movies of all time, sir! WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!”

Buzz Aldrin

“Careful! They’re ruffled!”

Carl Carlson

“No one’s going to stop Lenny from hosting a casual get together.”

“Casual?!”

Child Italian Moe

“Eh, Moe, what’sa matter? You no talk-a with your accent no more.”

Stupid Sexy Flanders

“Feels like I’m wearing nothing at all… nothing at all… nothing at all.”

Grandpa Simpson

“I’m the president of the gay and lesbian alliance for some reason.”

Groundskeeper Willie

“There’s nary an animal alive that can outrun a greased Scotsman.”

Hans Moleman

“Oh dang blast it, isn’t anybody in this dad gum cemetery dead?”

“I didn’t want to cause a fuss, but now that you mention it…”

Human Fly

“Hello? Human Fly here! Come on, I stayed up all night dyeing my underwear!”

Kearney Jr.

“My divorce was tough on my kid, but he got over it.”

“I sleep in a drawer.”

Kent Brockman

“Police say the fake pope can be easily recognised by his high-top sneakers and incredibly foul mouth.”

Krusty the Clown

“We’re talking about S.E.X in front of the C.H.I.L.D.R.E.N.”

“Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down!”

Lenny Leonard

“Ow, my eye! I’m not supposed to get pudding in it!”

Louie

“Hey hey hey, careful, you’ll pop it!”

Luigi Risotto

“Hey Salvatore! Give-a the ugly kid a plate of the red ah-crap!”

Martin Prince

“No one manhandles the bosom chum of Nelson Muntz! Spring forth, burly protector, and save me!”

McGarnagle

“Well, McGarnagle, Billy is dead! They slit his throat from ear to ear.”

“Hey, I’m trying to eat lunch here!”

Milhouse van Houten

“I don’t know Bart, my dad’s a pretty big wheel down at the cracker factory.”

Boss at the Cracker Factory

“Maybe single people eat crackers, we don’t know. Frankly, we don’t wanna know. It’s a market we could do without.”

“So that’s it after 20 years: so long, good luck?”

“I don’t recall saying good luck.”

Moe

“Immigrants, I knew it was them! Even when it was the bears, I knew it was them.”

Montgomery Burns

“Oh look, a bird has become petrified and lost its sense of direction.”

“I think it’s a rock, sir.”

“We’ll see what the lab has to say about that.”

Jasper Beardly

“My god, a pigeon! That’s the last bird on my list. So long, suckers.”

Nelson Muntz

“Nuke the whales? You don’t really believe that do you?”

“I dunno, gotta nuke somethin’.”

Otto Mann

“Man, I don’t know why I bought this stupid tape”.

Ralph Wiggum

“Then the doctor told me that both my eyes were lazy, and that’s why it was the best summer ever!”

Reverend Lovejoy

“Wait a minute, this sounds like rock and/or roll.”

Rex Banner

“This isn’t a very happy birthday for Rex Banner.”

Captain Horatio McCallister

“Not a quarter! Darrrghh he’ll be dancing for hours!”

Principal Seymour Skinner

“Finland, let’s see that native dance. Smile more. Work that pelvis. No, too much smile. Sit down.”

Mr. Snrub

“Hello my name is Mr. Snrub, and I come from uhh… some place far away. Yes that’ll do.”

South American Commentator

“Half back passes to center, back to wing, back to center! Center holds it! Holds it! Holds it!!”

Superintendent Chalmers

“Oh I have had it with this school, Skinner. The low test scores, class after class of ugly, ugly children.”

Troy McClure

“Right about now you’re probably saying ‘Troy, I’ve seen every Simpsons episode, you can’t show me anything new’. You’ve got some attitude, mister.”

Johnny Tightlips

“Johnny Tightlips, where’d they hit you?”

“I ain’t saying nothin'”

“But what do I tell the doctor?”

“Tell him to suck a lemon.”