Israel Folau needs to be responsible. Can he be his own man as well?

OPINION: New Zealand: God's own country? Australia: The land of the fair go?

We might now be the lands that are becoming so intolerant that we struggle to tolerate a man answering a question with his interpretation of what the Bible says.

Perhaps our societies have moved past condoning slurs against homosexuals. How should people who don't toe the party line be treated, though? With derision?

Much of the reaction to Australian rugby star Israel Folau's comment that gays who do not repent are destined for hell suggests we're not comfortable with diversity of opinion. But some opinions are so abhorrent that they should be consigned to history, right?

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People might be more forgiving if they're acquainted with the full story. If they're open-minded, that is.

Amid the Folau firestorm, it was refreshing to see Sir Michael Jones speak up.

Jones, one of our greatest All Blacks, is known not just for his skill, speed and courage as a rugby player in the 1980s and 90s, but for a particular stance off the field. He would not play on Sundays because he believed this was in conflict with his Christian convictions. He is now a board member of the New Zealand Rugby Union.

Who better, then, to comment amid the controversy?

Jones pointed out his faith is built on love and grace. "I do know Israel and he's a good man. He's got a good heart, and a strong faith. He's a friend," Jones said.

"Being able to express yourself is important, but doing it respectfully, and I suppose with wisdom. There needs to be a lot of love and a lot of grace, particularly as Christians."

Also mindful of rugby's need to be inclusive, Jones wants every Kiwi to "feel like they can be part of this whānau".

"Being able to express yourself is important but do it respectfully" - Sir Michael Jones feels for under-fire Israel Folau.

That bit about inclusion is where many commentators think Folau went wrong, as well as Jones' other little pointers about respect and wisdom.

So, God's plan for gays is HELL?

Folau could have said something better, of course. We hardly needed the capital letters. He could also have reflected his faith more accurately by simply saying everyone is in the same boat – God won't force heaven on to people who don't want it.

﻿Most people are not worried about being condemned to a place they think is fictional, but they have a problem with a group of people being condemned in general. They don't want to see groups of people marginalised or demonised. That's fair enough, but Folau's critics have also been making sure they don't dehumanise him, right?

Clearly, Folau is a black-and-white kind of guy. But he is not without thoughtfulness. He is also 29. He might be a touch naive. It's hard to doubt his sincerity.

Love him or loathe him, Folau is no coward. If he were less courageous, he would not have called out his boss, Raelene Castle, saying he felt she misrepresented his position.

"After we'd all talked, I told Raelene if she felt the situation had become untenable – that I was hurting Rugby Australia, its sponsors and the Australian rugby community to such a degree that things couldn't be worked through – I would walk away from my contract, immediately.

"This is not about money or bargaining power or contracts. It's about what I believe in and never compromising that, because my faith is far more important to me than my career and always will be."

Agree or disagree with his position, it looks like one of integrity.

These days, of course, it's more fashionable to be inauthentic, to keep sponsors happy by being robotic and to strive never to utter a word that might offend people. As with any controversy about things people say, particularly in this age of social media groupthink, one big risk is that people might decide it's easier to avoid expressing unpopular opinions.

GETTY IMAGES Wallabies star Israel Folau is a polarising figure. He's standing by his comments as he eyes a return to the field for the New South Wales Waratahs this weekend.

Folau is no saint. He was raised as a Mormon, but didn't really embrace religion and was instead into boozy weekends and random one-night stands with women.

A broken ankle in 2009 forced a rethink. He embraced Christianity.

He told the Courier-Mail: "I am not ashamed to come out and say it, because that is what I truly believe in."

After his hell comment on Instagram, Folau sought to explain his thinking in a column for PlayersVoice.

"Anyone who knows me knows I am not the type to upset people intentionally," he said.

"I do not know the person who asked the question, but that didn't matter. I believed he was looking for guidance and I answered him honestly and from the heart."

If we take Folau at his word, he doesn't intend to single out homosexuals. He also concedes he could have chosen a more positive way of expressing his beliefs.

A person minded to be fair to Folau might conclude he is less interested in gays and hell than in getting across the need for repentance. He points this out in his column – if anyone wants to be part of the kingdom of God, they need to repent. That is, they need to recognise their wrongdoing and ask God to forgive them.

There are many, many rugby and rugby league players with roughly the same outlook on life.

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Of course, the preachers of tolerance may argue they're not taking aim at Christianity per se – just bigotry. It's awkward if this amounts to the same thing. It's even more awkward if the speech police look up the meaning of bigot – a person who is intolerant towards those holding different opinions, according to Oxford.

How interesting it is that the champions of diversity think everyone should believe the same things they do.

Can the New Zealand and Australian rugby unions still find room for those who don't fit their mould of an "inclusive" culture? Reluctantly, it seems.

Folau has previously spoken out against the Australian Rugby Union's support for gay marriage. He did so as a man who might have wondered if it was compulsory for an Australian rugby player to support that cause.

The New Zealand Rugby Union has lately declared discrimination an enemy that "must be defeated together". Note the compulsion. The makers of the union's promotional video presumably don't quite grasp that arguments are not truly won by being authoritarian.

Truly liberal societies do not mistake uniformity of expressed opinion for progress.

Incidentally, some Christians will not be comfortable with Folau's perspective. Some may wince. Others may be puzzled by the fuss.

Or maybe Christianity and causing offence go hand in hand. Jesus was great at causing offence. Yet Folau could learn a few things from Jones, about the importance of being winsome, for example. He will even find a few verses in 1 Corinthians about that.

Australian basketball great Andrew Bogut summed it up this way: "What Israel said I don't condone but let's be honest: from that community, most people in the community who were offended don't believe in God anyway ...

"God's fictitious [to them] and someone who is make-believe, so why is it so offensive to anyone? Get on with it. He's not saying he wants to kill you. He's saying that's his belief. But he's got to deal with the consequences from it."

KYUSONG GONG Australian basketball player Andrew Bogut says Israel Folau's comment is controversial, but he has a right to say it.

It's interesting that some people seemed to want Folau formally punished in some way. The easiest way to get there is to remind players to be responsible about the way they use social media.

It's also interesting that there was some pressure from sponsors. Presumably, that's because Folau expressed views that people are not supposed to express any more.

The Bible speaks against homosexuality. It speaks against many things. Hell, Jesus even reportedly said any man who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.

The bigger point is that, try as they might, people don't come close to hitting a standard of perfection. And, Christians might add, there's a remedy for that problem – one based on accepting the sacrificial kindness of a man who they think saves them from their just desserts. This is the love and grace Jones refers to.

It might not be trendy to believe such things, but the preachers of tolerance would do well to think about how truly progressive a society would be if everyone who departed from modern norms were to be mocked or harangued to stop them expressing honestly held convictions. Because the most uncomfortable question might be this: How tolerant are the tolerance police?​