Haiku



BEFORE THE LIGHTNING BOLT: POETIC MONOLOGUES OF SKILLED LARPERS







Brian

Oh shit, you guys--

Thad's got a new b-ball hoop?

Screw that yo, let's LARP.



Tom

Scottish skirt in place,

Pingpong balls on lock, socks on!

They will rue this day.



Phil

Swish, swish, purple cape,

As soon as Dom yells "action"

I'll make Kimber swoon.



Steph

Swiftly do I run--

Brown pajamas--sword flourish--

Ogre! tap! retreat!



Patrick

Me Ogre, rawr! rawr!

Big, tall, invincible, nooo--

Death by plastic stick.



Tom

I focus, reach deep,

Into my pocket and soul...

Lightning bolt, deploy!



Dave

Double blades in hand,

Lamp shade on head: I'm Raiden--

FU Tom no pegs!



Kimber

Dave, you have, like, swords?

And Tom's, like, throwing balls?

Swing away, you tool!



Dave

Kim, run while you can!

Should not have brought my sister:

Swords aren't lightning bats.



Tristan

Rushed in like the sea--

Broke against enemy blades--

The fell sting of foam.



Tom

Lightning bolt! Lightning

bolt! Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!

Lightning bolt--Yessss!



Brian

Dead bodies--my comrades--

Leaping the legs of fallen friends--

Glad I wore sweatpants!



Phil

Should I fall today,

Avenge me, my dear Kimber!

My sweet Evenstar!



Kimber

Why is that dumb girl

In the purple cape staring!

Oh, like, that's a dude?



Thadius

Dying by a tree...

Remembering chores forgotten...

1.) fill bird feeder



Brian

Pinned by many foes--

Horned men fear no mortal's blade:

Only the word, "Death"!



Dom

What's up with this zoom...

Pan left... pullback reveals...

Random Ninja Girl?



Thadius

2.) sweep out driveway

3.) rake pinecones in front yard

Don't forget, Love Mom



Stacie

Yellow headband stealth--

Ugh! medieval gnats, chop chop--

Clapclapclapclapclap!





If you are new here, come on, the writer is the creator of ARTEMIS ETERNAL and loves anything to do with genre fiction.



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