It is learnt that the various external enemies of India are trembling in fear on hearing the news that India is thinking about them.

On Sunday, Minister of State for Information and Broadcasting, Rajyavardhan Singh Rathore, had declared emphatically that India has all options on the table for dealing with its enemies, and although it may look like inaction, the Indian government was actively dealing with the enemies of India by thinking about them all the time.

Speaking to Aaj Tak in an interview, Rathore had asserted: “India’s enemies, wherever they are based, must never be under the delusion that India is not thinking about them.”

Sources have reported that on hearing this news, Tiger Memon, who was helping a group of youngsters plan their next attack on India, was left visibly shaken and left his meeting unfinished to take an aspirin and retire to bed early.

Rathore’s assertions have struck fear in the hearts of these various enemies of India particularly because the Minister also mentioned that India has even prepared dossiers on its enemies, and will not hesitate to go even beyond this step. Political pundits are now speculating that, if Rathore’s assertions are correct, India is not only preparing these dossiers, but also going to the extreme step of printing them in triplicate and binding them in red tape.

Unofficial sources have confirmed to this reporter that Rathore’s statements are true to reality, and not idle threats. In fact, it is learnt that Rathore has of late been able to contact Dawood Ibrahim over WhatsApp, and that Rathore is in the habit of sending lurid late night messages to Dawood Ibrahim, with declarations such as “Thinking of you! Xo Xo!”, and sometimes even outlining in sordid detail how India will have him restrained, and do various wicked things to him, and worse.

Dawood Ibrahim’s attempts to block Rathore on WhatsApp have been unsuccessful so far, and apparently he is now looking to team up with other enemies of India, demanding that India thinking about them with such nefarious intent is an invasion of their privacy as well as dignity, and that India cease such thoughts immediately.

(Reported by Walter Mitty)