When your fridge suddenly becomes empty together with your pockets, there exists one easy salvation how to make a dinner even for ten persons. First of all you should go to the nearest forest and gather crayfishes there, or whatever, we don’t know where those Russians find those cancers. Their number should be enough to fill the bathroom. Here we have to notice, that the bathroom full of crabs (or what’s their name?) of course looks ridiculous but is the most important aspect in cooking, because if you are too tired or drunk or whatever again, and need to have an instant break, they will still be alive and fresh, swimming in your bathroom. But don’t fill it to the brim, these creatures are very sly and can easily get out, kill you while you are sleeping and move out to the forest. So be attentive and better barricade the door in the bath-room or barricade yourself to make sure. So have a good and safely rest, then wake up, take several packings of sour cream and pour it out in the bathroom! The crabs like the sour cream and will stain in it. This makes them more delicious. Don’t try to spread them with the sour cream by your own hands, it can be dangerous. After all wash them with a shower, fill the bathroom with clean water, and turn on the immersion heater. The dinner is ready. Of course, keep in mind that you will need about bucket of beer to eat all those crabs.

via exler