David and Charles Koch, the kajillionaire brothers who divide their time equally between running a gigantic multinational energy conglomerate and donating ungodly sums of money to climate-science-denying politicians, are none too pleased with the dumb tariffs that Donald Trump's White House announced last week. In an op-ed in The Washington Post, Charles very earnestly argues that tariffs are bad because, he explains in a passage that prompted me to audibly gasp, they perpetuate a "rigged system" in which moneyed interests use their influence to promote policies that are not in the public interest.

Tariffs will not add thousands of American jobs. Instead, the research shows that, while they preserve some jobs that would otherwise disappear, they reduce many other higher productivity jobs. The net effect will be not more jobs, but lower overall productivity. They also reduce choice, competition, innovation and opportunity... Tariffs will only perpetuate the rigged system that threatens the very core of our society. When large companies can pressure politicians to force everyday Americans to fork over unearned millions, we should all question the fairness of the system.

Ignore the fact that the Kochs spent some $250 million in the 2016 election cycle on candidates and causes who will make their business ventures more profitable. Or that their network has announced plans to blow $400 million on the 2018 midterms, including $20 million toward arguing that Paul Ryan's donor-appeasing tax-reform bill is a good thing for voters who are not handsomely compensated corporate board members. Or that the brothers already wrote a $494,000 check to Paul Ryan after the House passed the bill last year. These tariffs are an outrageous injustice, and newly minted populist hero-slash-billionaire Charles Koch simply will not put up with this!

In between dire warnings about costlier washing machines and evaporating working-class jobs, Koch explains that his interest in the issue stems from his support for "policies that are based on equality under the law and that help people improve their lives." As an example, he refers to his network's successful efforts to end ethanol subsidies despite Koch Industries' status as one of the largest domestic ethanol producers. Curiously, the fact that these libertarian pseudo-oligarchs have a significant financial interest in protecting their massive investments in fossil fuels—and, more generally, that trade wars make it more expensive for people like him to export their products—doesn't really come up.

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