Mr.Burt-Jenn-Seraphim/Starkey

Welcome to the first post of this blog!

Having watched all of the nine seasons of X-Files (still undecided about the “modern” last two) in the previous couple of months to catch up with what could have inspired Super Awesome Games, I would say without a doubt that this is one of the most flavourful sets they have ever created.

Almost every card perfectly catches the most exciting aspects of the monster/character that it represents, making it funny and nostalgic to recall the episode while thinking about what motivated the selection of powers or stats. I found this activity so amusing that I decided it was the perfect starting point for my blog dedicated to VS System.

So are you catching up with the series just for this game like me, and you want to hear another opinion on specific cult episodes? Are you a fan that has not watched X-Files in ages and need a refresher on some characters? Do you need to have a well-compiled list of episodes that inspired each character to view only the ones you are interested in? Well, this is a post for you.

Today, I will start with the Monsters of the Week faction, which I think best represents the perfect flavor present in this set. Probably, it also represents what was the real creative heart of the series after it became clear that the conspiracy subplot was going nowhere interesting or meaningful. So buckle up, take your sunflower seeds out and get ready to enter the world of the spooky and improbable X-Files Monsters!

Disclaimer: this article will have spoilers. If you are looking for the episode to catch up by yourself, it will be immediately under the name of the card; you will not need to read further than that. Whenever I have had doubts while writing the article, I consulted the X-Files Wikia. I would suggest to anyone looking for more information relating to details of the X-Files lore to go there for further details. This post is not, and it will never be, an article for the lore maniac of the series. If you find mistakes or imprecisions, comment, and if I find them meaningful, I will add them and cite you.

Mr. Burt – XFB059

Season 9 Episode 13 – “Improbable”

Quote from the episode:

Mr. Burt “…You know your problem, my friend? It’s not the cards. It’s playing the hand you were dealt. Well, you guys get a bad deal, it’s all in what you do with it. You know what I’m saying, pardner? You can think. Cards can’t. They just lie there. You gotta make them work for you.”

In this episode, we are dealing with a serial killer following some specific numerology rules to choose his victims. While the premise is interesting, numerology is something I was not familiar with starting the episode. Sadly, I don’t think the authors made it enjoyable enough or barely believable and intriguing, as it happened for even more outlandish concepts in other episodes.

So why is this a cult episode and, in general, considered one of the best ones from season 9? Well, we have to thank Mr.Burt himself for that. Interpreted by the legendary Burt Reynolds, he is a strange and apparently all-knowing man interacting first with the serial killer, trying to dissuade him from committing the homicides, and then with agents Scully and Reyes, helping (?) them to connect the final dots of the Modus Operandi of the killer.

The image in the card is the last frame of the episode, in which the supernatural and godly nature of Mr. Burt is made explicit. Though, in my opinion, it does not represent well the jovial and charismatic figure appearing in the episode: always smiling, frivolous, but wise and caring at the same time. His eccentric behavior and his love for all facets of humanity, the serial killer included, makes him one of the most endearing and optimistic representation of God I have ever seen on screen.

Mr. Burt “helping” Scully and Reyes

Stats:

Cost: 8. ATK/DEF: 0/30. Being a physical representation of God, I would say the high cost makes sense. Even though he never has to defend himself in the episode, having the currently highest base defense in all the game is also appropriate; while the attack has to be zero as it is clear he would never act violently against mortals.

Powers:

One of a Kind: well, it would be a sin otherwise.

Dio ti ama: Italian for “God loves you”. It was the tagline of the episode, making the nature of Mr.Burt even more evident for the ones that didn’t catch it during the view. I am not that sure if there is any actual connection to the episode, apart from the fact that he appears as a protecting figure in the episode, due to his “loving god” nature.

Flavour Vote: 7/10. Not the best picture and not the best powers, but his base stats, cost, and the smart use of the tag line make it clear the SAG team had in mind the episode.

Card Vote: 3/10. There are some possible exploits of his power. Still, in a universe that right now has few ramping options, he is not even in the top 3 cost 8 Photographic Universe characters.

Jenn – XFB057

Season 7 Episode 21 – “Je Souhaite“

Quote from the episode:

Jenn: “I’d… wish that I’d never heard the word “wish” before. I’d wish that I could live my life moment by moment… enjoying it for what it is instead of… instead of worrying about what it isn’t.”

This episode is hilarious. Season 7 is infamous for its maybe excessive irony and lighter tone in many non-conspiracy episodes. Still, this is one of the most successful examples of what is the potential of putting old tales and legends in the real world to create humorous situations.

Jenn, as Mulder names her, is a jinniyah: the female version of a jinn, a mythological entity from the middle-east tradition. They became popular in the western world thanks to the fable of Aladdin, though they share almost nothing with Robin William’s jolly interpretation of a genie.

In this more traditional version, hilarity ensues from the literal interpretation that Jenn uses to grant the three wishes she ought to give to anyone who will free her from the carpet in which she is confined. In this case, a couple of not particularly brilliant brothers asking for selfish wishes that will end in tragedy for them. But even in Mulder’s hands, making the perfect wish will not be as easy as expected, and in the end in a typical fable-like resolution, the answer will be to just let it go and enjoy the ride without trying to find supernatural immediate resolutions. Bonus point for this episode’s ending where we can see a sweet moment between Mulder and Scully enjoying a beer while on the couch hugging. 4

Mulder trying to outsmart Jenn

Stats:

Cost: 7. ATK/DEF: 5/11. 2 Wounds. Well, this time, I don’t know how much flavor went in these numbers. Given how powerful her powers are, a high cost was warranted, and I can’t avoid noticing how the cost they have chosen is the season in which she appeared. Still, I can’t infer much more from her attack and defense. The two wounds are appropriate, as, during the episode, she is involved in a deadly explosion, coming out of that perfectly fine.

Powers:

One of a Kind: an appropriate attribute given the unique nature of a genie. It was also a necessary choice due to the strength of her power.

Be Careful What You Wish For: The Wish mechanic is fantastic, and I can’t wait to see what others will come up with. By its nature, it will be ideal for specific Combo decks, which are my favorites, that need particular cards that, instead, may be useless to your enemy. Its risk factor is more associated with more basic uses, like to call very powerful characters to your hand with the drawback of also giving it to your adversary, which is entirely in line with the flavor of the episode.

Flavour Vote: 10/10. It is always hard to give a ten, but if I don’t give it to such a well-crafted power, I will never give it to any other one. Fantastic job.

Card Vote: 8/10. For me, anything over 8 is almost a broken card, having clear advantages compared to others with the same cost and fitting in virtually any deck. Jenn, being one of a kind, avoids entering that field of cards while still having one of the most intriguing powers of the game.

Aaron Starkey – XFB055 / Seraphim – XFB058

Season 5 Episode 17 – “All Souls”

Starkey: “The others were taken from me. I will not allow that to happen again. Where is the fourth girl? (voice deepening) Tell me, Father. Save yourself.”

About Seraphim “It’s a Seraphim. An angel with four faces. Those of a man, a lion, an eagle, and a bull. In the story, the angel descends from heaven and fathers four children with a mortal woman. Their offspring are the Nephilim – The Fallen Ones.”

I think it was impossible to divide these two Supporting Characters sharing a divine connection and appearing in the same episode, even though the Seraphim doesn’t belong to the Monsters of the Week faction (it’s neutral). Satanism, cults, or in general Christian mythology episodes are the bread and butter of X-Files, with at least an episode per season, but are usually also my least favorite.

In these episodes, typically, the dynamic between Scully is inverted, with Scully being the believer and Mulder the skeptic. While this allows Scully to take the leading role in solving the case in these episodes, it is also a bit implausible that a character like Mulder becomes that close-minded in front of faith.

Anyway, as far as these episodes go, this shines for the introspection given to Scully, recently traumatized by the fact she had to allow her artificial daughter to die to avoid her further suffering. The episode revolves around an incarnation of the Devil, Starkey, taking the form of a social worker in search of four deformed girls revealed to be Nephilims (the offspring of the Seraphim, an angel, with a mortal woman) to take their heavenly soul.

In an inversion of roles, it is revealed that it is the Seraphim, an angel, the one “killing” them in the mortal world to save their souls and to bring them to heaven before the Devil can get its hands on them.

The picture selected for the Seraphim SC represents the moment in which the angel reveals its nature to Scully (an act that should theoretically kill her as revealing his full heavenly glory is how he “kills” the Nephilims… but whatever). While it may look a bit low resolution for today’s standard, it was extremely advanced for a TV series 20 years ago, with the effect finished just a few hours before the episode got aired. In particular, in this photo, we see the Lion face, representing Mark. The other three are a winged man (Matthew), a bull (Luke), and an eagle (John).

The picture for Starkey SC instead was the only usable moment as it is the only moment in which his true evil nature is revealed: Starkey has tricked Scully into looking for the last deformed girl into a church (in which he can’t enter) to bring her back to him and saved her from her fate, but Scully noticed his shadows and finally accepts that the killer is actually the Seraphim trying to save her soul.

Mulder saying “I think you should step away…Personal issues making you lose objectivity” to Scully is kind of laughable considering the amount of times he ran toward certain death as soon as he heard the name Samantha. But ehi, he has her best interests at heart I guess

Seraphim’ Stats:

Cost: 7. ATK/DEF: 7. Wounds: 3. Well, this is what I call flavor over anything else. And I LOVE IT. Seven is, of course, a highly symbolic number in Christianity (the seventh day God rested after creation, seven sacraments, nanatsu no taizai) representing a perfect number together with 3, which, of course, is its health.

Seraphim’s Powers:

Flight: well, he never shows its wings, but it is an angel, so it has to have wings, right?

One of a Kind: it keeps the trend of maintaining ethereal/non-mortal creatures with this keyword.

Two Sides Of The Same Coin: it represents a brilliant and flavourful way to show the dual nature between Seraphim and the Devil (Starkey). Based on their mythology, they are inevitably associated with the quest for the Nephilim’s souls.

Protect the Nephilim: while it well combines with Starkey’s power, I am bit confused as he is the Seraphim that actually make the killing of the mortal coil in the episode, but whatever it still represents its angelic nature of protector of the weak souls (and the cost of four or less for the protected target SCs should not surprise you if you have followed the “numerology of this episode).

Flavour Vote: 10/10. This card is another case of perfect blend with every aspect of it and the characteristics of the represented character.

Card Vote: 6/10. His powers are potentially useful in a control deck, for example, a straightforward combo with Golem can be devastating if Seraphim is well hidden, but the need for flavor hinder its stats. As a cost 7 one of a kind, he doesn’t seem that dangerous.

Starkey’ stats:

Cost: 6. ATK/DEF: 6/6. Wounds: 3. Well, I guess after all these talks, it may be evident: 666 has the infamous “number of the beast,” and 3, in this case, may be associated with the three faces/entity composing Satan in the famous Dante’s Inferno (a mockery of the holy trinity).

Starkey’s Powers:

One of a kind: even more understandable considering he is the incarnation of the Devil. Who knows what demonic manifestation would happen if put in a relationship with The First Evil (Buffy) in a game?

Two Sides Of The Same Coin: see what I have written for the Seraphim.

Give the Devil His Due: again, it is inverted compared to what happens in the episode, but it makes sense considering his evil nature to have an offensive power instead of a defensive one.

Flavour Vote: Almost 10/10. All considered, it is a ten, but given how weak of a “villain” he is in the episode, and the lackluster picture, I can’t bring myself to give him the same vote of the Seraphim. But everything on the card is still genially put together.

Card Vote: 7/10. A straightforward and aggressive card, that misses having a keyword like stealth or flight to be extremely powerful even for a one of a kind. Still, having three wounds and not allowing a defender with four or less to defend in any way before being removed makes him a dangerous card to face.

Phew this was a long one. I was planning to do a whole faction worth of supporting characters, but it became quickly clear it would have been too long for a blog post. If thi is something you may be interested in, I promise I will do my best to keep going with more characters next week!