Within many immigrant communities, more attention seems to focus on marrying off daughters, but it is often the sons who bear the weight of family expectations when it comes to picking a mate.

Overt pressure may be lessening, and outright arranged marriages are the exception rather than the rule, but the love lives of those whose families are from India, Pakistan, Sri Lanka and Bangladesh may nevertheless be subject to a good deal of scrutiny and occasional intervention. And the men themselves are becoming more demanding.

“When it comes to men, whether they have good looks or a good degree, they all want a beautiful girl with an M.D. degree in hand,” said Afshan Qadir, who was born in Pakistan and is now a professional matchmaker in Newark, Del., who specializes in matches for South Asian Muslims living in the United States. “Then the parents weigh in, and they say, ‘We want a daughter-in-law who can make very good food for us.’ But she doesn’t have time to learn to cook if she’s getting her professional degree.”

Ms. Qadir blames the South Asian culture for these unrealistic expectations. “Men have more power,” she said. Problems also arise when the expectations of the parents don’t match the preferences of their sons, according to Ms. Qadir, who said that more than half her client base is made up of the parents rather than the offspring.

The degree of parental involvement depends on how closely a family holds to tradition.

Take Dharmesh Darji, a 20-year-old from Washington Township, N.J., who suddenly found himself married during a family trip to India this year.