Korean family reunions: could you wait 67 years to see your family again?

Updated

More than 60,000 families torn apart by the Korean War have loved ones in North Korea. With 85 per cent of them over the age of 70 and no family reunions in sight, their time is fast running out.

"To my mother I miss dearly, time has slipped away from us, and it's now been 67 years since I left your warm embrace."

As Oh Myung-jin reads the first lines of a letter he has written to the mother he will never see again, the deep creases on his forehead soften and his eyes flicker.

He was 15 when he last saw his mother and nine-year-old brother.

Today Oh is 82 and he's still waiting. He is among the 60,000 South Koreans on the list of families wishing to reconnect with loved ones in the North.

Running from the war

It was 1950 and war had broken out on the Korean peninsula.

Oh lived in a small town deep in the mountains with his parents and two brothers. They were just 4 kilometres above the now Demilitarised Zone (DMZ) in North Korea.

"We could hear gunshots and bombings getting louder from the mountains," he recalls.

"We started panicking because we were scared of being taken away by communist soldiers and conscripted into the army."

Oh, his father and older brother had followed their usual drill of going into hiding until the bombings subsided.

He remembers standing by the edge of a rickety wooden bridge above a swollen creek, as he casually waved goodbye to his mother and young brother.

"I can never forget the look on my little brother's face. He walked away from us with his head down, upset that he couldn't come with us.

"I reassured him that we would be back the next morning."

But Oh never returned home. The persistent bombings drove the two sons and their father further south, away from home. Five days later, they sought refuge in the city of Seoul.

As the war raged on, he never heard from his mother and younger brother again.

A permanent divide

What was meant to be a war to reunite the two Koreas instead permanently divided the nation.

In July 1953, the Korean War was brought to a halt with an armistice agreement between the United Nations Command, led by the US, North Korea and China. It established a Military Demarcation Line (MDL) which pushed each side back 2 kilometres, creating the Demilitarised Zone (DMZ).

And with it, hundreds of thousands of families were torn apart — husbands and wives, parents and children, sisters and brothers.

Their only hope now of meeting is through state-arranged family reunions, hosted by the Red Cross, as all forms of communication, including mail and phone, are strictly prohibited.

There have been 21 face-to-face family reunions since 1985, with the last one in October 2015.

About 100 participants from each side are selected randomly by a computerised system, with priority given to the eldest and those wishing to connect with immediate family members.

Sorry, this video has expired Video: Families reunited for the first time since Korean War (ABC News)

Time is running out

The head of the Red Cross' Inter-Korean Cooperation's department, Woo Kwang-ho, says those on the waiting list for reunions don't have much time left.

Now, 85 per cent of those still on the list are older than 70.

"For these people, every single day counts," he says.

"Statistics show at least 10 people [on the list] on average die each day — that's nearly 3,700 people passing away every year."

Yet the prospect of a family reunion in the near future appears unlikely.

All communication with North Korea's Red Cross has been cut for nearly two years.

Its operations have inevitably been affected by the ongoing political and military tensions on the Korean peninsula.

"The Red Cross is a humanitarian organisation, and it shouldn't be affected by political events," Woo says.

"But realistically, North Korea's ongoing nuclear and missile issue is escalating tensions on the peninsula, and we haven't been able to hold any talks with the North."

The 'lucky' ones

Lee Soon-kyu was one of the lucky ones. In 2015, the then 85-year-old and her adult son met her husband for the first time in 65 years.

Separated when she was 20, Lee was three months pregnant and had been married for just half a year.

Her husband, Oh In-se, had been lured by an undercover communist sympathiser in the South to complete 10 days of military training in the North.

"I cried a lot. He was leaving me and I didn't know what would happen to him. But he promised me he would be home in 10 days."

But days soon turned into months, and months into years and decades.

"I really can't express in words how I felt back then. I waited every single day for 10 years, hoping that he would come home ... and it was only after then that I stopped waiting and hoping."

A bittersweet reunion

The meeting with her husband in North Korea's Mount Kumgung resort was bitter sweet.

They were given four two-hour sessions over three days, under the watchful eye of North and South Korean officials and media.

"When I saw him walking over [to my table], I knew it was him," she says.

"I could see his old self in him … he looked exactly like my son."

Her son Oh Jang-kyun says his first meeting with his father was overwhelming.

"The moment we met as father and son... I couldn't have been happier. I told him I would live with pride knowing that I too have a father."

Lee Soon-kyu and Oh In-se shared photos of old and new, trying to catch up on the 65-years that they had missed.

Oh had remarried and had five children.

As he showed a picture of his family in the North, he patted Lee's shoulder and pleaded for her understanding.

"It is the war that has done this to us," he says.

Negotiations continue

South Korea's President, Moon Jae-in has urged North Korea to return to the negotiating table to discuss denuclearisation on the Korean peninsula.

He has also called on the North to resume Red Cross talks for family reunions to help ease tensions between the two countries.

In a statement, South Korea's Ministry of Unification says the separated family issue is an urgent matter they are working on as a top priority.

"For those who have applied to participate in the reunions, we are trying to confirm whether they are still alive," it says.

"We would like to hold reunions more regularly and will aim to expand the pool of participants at the next reunion.

"We are trying to systemise the practice of exchanging letters between the separated families."

Oh's final wish

As for Oh Myung-jin, he says he is confident current events will not lead to a point of no return.

"If a nuclear war breaks out, everyone will die. What would be the point of reunification if we're all wiped out?"

He says he trusts in his government and will hold onto hope until his last breath.

"My younger brother is 76 now and that is considered old in North Korean standards. But I believe he is still alive.

"I don't know when I will see him but it's my only wish that he stays alive until the day we meet again."

Sorry, this video has expired Video: Messages to the North (ABC News)

Credits

Words and photos: Susan Kim

Producer: Annika Blau

Editor: Leigh Tonkin

Topics: world-politics, unrest-conflict-and-war, family, missing-person, korea-republic-of, korea-democratic-peoples-republic-of

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