It's common knowledge that earth's only friend, the moon, is real. There it is, big and bright, careening across the sky in a dark orbit thousands of miles away. Wow, it's big! Big and real. We know the moon is real because we can see it up there, existing. It's very, very real. But have you ever stopped yourself to really ask—is the moon . . . real?

The moon: What is it? A big gray spheroid trapped in our orbit, sure. We landed on it (...in 1969 ;-) ). But what's it doing up there? It gives us (some) light at night, okay. It proves to us that we're not the only rock floating in the void. The moon gives us perspective on our collective humanity. The moon has something to do with...women's periods blah blah tides blah blah blah. The moon affords us opportunities to exhibit pride in our national achievements. Go USA!, the moon chants. And we chant it back at the moon because we know that the moon is real.

But maybe it isn't real.

Top theorists living in basement bunkers far and wide allege everything we know to be true about the moon—that it formed four billion years ago from debris left over after Earth collided with a Mars-type planet, and that it hangs in our orbit unassuming and without controversy—is either misinformation or a deeply entrenched government coverup—or both. How can this be? The Earth's only, and most precious, satellite is a lie. Moon not real?

The theories are varied, numerous, and almost impossible to understand because many people on Earth have at best a marginal connection with reality. Some claim that the moon is a "hollowed out planetoid" inhabited by alien beings, while others theorize that what we know to be the moon is actually a hologram, behind which the government performs shady experiments on a different moon-like planet. Others claim that the moon is real but not what we thought: it is instead a playground for aliens and the home to an underground system of tubes. To do what? You tell me, brother.

Below, I've presented the strongest evidence that we have, formulated by the most skilled and dedicated moon truthers, to give power to those who ask, "But seriously, is the moon real?" You've come to the right place.

Think about it . . .

. . . let's discover the truth . . . together . . .

about the moon . . .

. . . from experts.

THE MOON Is It Real?

In a public Facebook group formed in 2010 called THE MOON Is it Real?, member Alan James Greaves asked on July 29, 2012:

How is the Moon able to be a bright glow at night, when it is ment to be a waste land of nothing.

You tell me, Alan, my man! How does the moon do this?

The group's aim—to discover if THE MOON is it real?—is laid out in the About section, presumably written by Alan James Greaves or one of his scholarly colleagues:

A couple of weeks ago i mentioned on my facebook wall that i and my girlfriend had seen the moon low to ground above the town hall near our home and it was four times its normal size, normally seen in the sky. And also on a different day when we were getting out of our car outside my daughters house we looked up above my daughters house the moon could be seen clearly and the clouds were passing behind the moon, when we came out back at the car the clouds were in front of the moon and when we got out of the car back home 5 minutes later the clouds were again moving behind the moon, my girlfriend did not under stand the significance of that. And while coming of the M6 junction 27 we saw a bright light in the sky, it moved on a diagnal up into the sky about 100 metres and while we were going around a round about it disappeared. Please post any stories. Why is the moon being chemtrailed at night.

The moon is sometimes bigger than the night before. The moon is sometimes brighter than it was on Tuesday. There are occasional bright lights in the sky and also the moon is being chemtrailed at night.

But is it real? So far I'm thinking: No way.

THE MOON Is it Real? Facebook group has been "inactive for a while," says member Phoenix Lives. "oh .. we can live it up in here then ... no one will notice haha :)" responded Gordana Janice. Kind of like how we didn't notice that the moon isn't real . . .

. . . think about it.

THE MOON IS YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE

In the following video, narrator and "not professional Photoshopper" Robert Peternell says that the moon is a coverup and that what we think we know about the moon (innocent space rock stuck in our orbit) is way wrong, no doubt. Watch as Peternell uses Photoshop (though, once again, not a professional Photoshopper) to highlight aliens, humans, mermen, and mermaids living below the surface of the moon. Does this prove that the moon is real or not real? Well, sounds like this guy thinks it's real but...we're hiding something there. Aliens with sharp teeth and a system of tubes that the government never talks about. The moon may be real but it is your WORST NIGHTMARE. Peternell does not exactly mention what he thinks is up with the moon, but the creatures he finds (in Photoshop) are very scary!!!!



Fruit in Jelly Theory

TONIGHT I DECIDED TO FILM THE MOON: I COULD SEE THAT THERE WAS SOMETHING OF WEIRD WITH THE MOON WITH MY NAKED EYES. THE MOON SEEMED TO BE BOUNCING LIKE FRUIT IN JELLY... AND CHANGING COLOUR AND BRIGHTNESS. IT SEEMED TO BE AN HOLOGRAM AND LIKE THE OTHER HOLOGRAMS OF THESE ALIEN ENTITIES (ORBS???), IT SEEMED TO SHOW ITS IMPERFECTIONS. THEY CAN MAKE HOLOGRAMS BUT THEY CANNOT BE PERFECT AND KEEP THE SHAPE FOREVER. ITS UP TO US TO FIND OUT THEIR MISTAKE. WE ARE LIVING A BIG LIE! (P.S. VIDEO RECORDED WITH A TRIPOD)

Who gives a fuck about the tripod, ableseaman1970. This video is trash.

This Is High-Def, Man

"There is absolutely zero proof that I am a liar because I have not lied to you about a thing."

The hologram theory, which you can watch and learn about in-depth above, alleges that the moon is a projection. Or, as is written in a comment that shows up in the beginning of the video without cause, "A high altitude reinforced hard shell Z(n)eon gas filled 'Balloon' type device is what people call Satellites, NO space." Dave J says that he has found an unlisted satellite that projects an image of the moon.

"The moon is a projection and it's being projected from this thing, and I'm calling it the satellite Dave J," Dave J narrates over zoomed-in images of outerspace.

Looks like a win for the moon truthers, Dave J, and humanity, and a huge lose for MOON REAL.

Moon . . . starting to seem less real by the minute.

Not Even Shakespeare Believed in the Moon Hoax

Oh my god, you are so stupid. Authors on Revisionism.nl aim to set your dumb brain right:

But think about it – without the help of so-called "experts", how do you really know what you're looking at? It could be a hologram, projected from various government installations throughout the world. It could be a large, crudely painted balloon, held in place by helium and propelled by tiny sails and rudders (which is why it moves across the sky so slowly). Or, most likely, it could have been different things at different times and different places, depending on the technology available to the conspirators and the culture and beliefs of the population being deceived. The hoax could easily have been imposed on a gullible world at many points in human history. Perhaps it began as a collective hallucination or a religious myth, or perhaps an especially bright star that came to be exaggerated over time. However the moon story started, early proponents of the hoax were swift to recognize how it could be exploited for their benefit, and shrewdly devised a scheme to use it to their advantage.

Revisionism.nl has a wealth of incredible moon facts*, and the extensive coverup that we are all implicit in. Remember Juliet? You know, the girl from Romeo & Juliet, that Shakespeare play from a while back? Yeah, well, she doesn't believe the moon is real, either:

O swear not by the moon, th'inconstant moon,

That monthly changes in her circled orb,

Lest that thy love prove likewise variable... [Act II, Scene 2] However, it is clear in the passage that Juliet is referring to the moon as a questionable, ephemeral thing. Surely, if she thought the existence of this object to be a certainty, she wouldn't consider an oath sworn against it to be unreliable.

That's how far back this thing goes!!!! And if you're really out here trying to explain that the tides are proof enough that the moon exists, give me a fucking break. Why don't you try an experiment, then we can talk:

Do an experiment: take a rubber ball and suspend it above a bathtub full of water. Now slowly move the ball closer to the water. Does the level of the water change? Not even slightly. So much for the tides myth.

Still not convinced? Need more evidence that there is, indeed, no moon?

You should be asking what evidence we have that there IS one. Since everyone knows that it is impossible to prove a negative, the mere fact that we have demonstrated that the moon story has NO reliable eyewitnesses, NO documents, and, above all, NO physical evidence whatsoever, should be enough to discredit this clever hoax. Nevertheless, there are some very conclusive proofs that demonstrate that the moon does not and could not exist.

Revisionism.nl has offered a $100,000 reward for anyone who can provide evidence that the moon is real. This evidence must be conclusive and physical. So far, the "reward remains unclaimed."

An Actual Theory

Oh you thought we'd make it through a list of moon truths without presenting an actual solid theory? Please. This is not amateur hour. This is science.

In 1970, Michael Vasin and Alexander Shcherbakov, members at the time of the Soviet Academy of Sciences, put together a theory claiming that the moon was an alien spaceship. Here is an excerpt from Is the Moon The . . . Creation of Intelligence?

It is more likely that what we have here is a very ancient spaceship, the interior of which was filled with fuel for the engines, materials and appliances for repair work, navigation, instruments, observation equipment and all manner of machinery... in other words, everything necessary to enable this "caravelle of the Universe" to serve as a kind of Noah's Ark of intelligence, perhaps even as the home of a whole civilization envisaging a prolonged (thousands of millions of years) existence and long wanderings through space (thousands of millions of miles).

The craters on the moon are too shallow to be caused by colliding meteorites. Get your head checked, man! Our moon is too big to be that dense. It must be hollow or else how would it stay in Earth's orbit? If it's hollow, then that proves it . . . the moon was somehow brought into our orbit by other beings. Who? Who knows!

H o l l o w e d o u t p l a n e t o i d.

But why is it like this? What is happening up there?

What is the Moon today? Is it a colossal necropolis, a "city of the dead," where some form of life became extinct? Is it a kind cosmic Flying Dutchman? A craft abandoned by its crew and controlled automatically? We do not know and we shall not try to guess.

The realest theory yet, stopped short of making too many assumptions.

You Ever See Star Wars?

Besides having rudimentary Photoshop and YouTube uploading skills, moon fallacy theorists are all huge Star Wars fans. Many connect their perceptions of the moon in our orbit to the Death Star. I have never seen the Star Wars films so this comparison means little to me, except from a Google image search, it appears that the Death Star is similar in shape to the moon and it has an interior, just as moon truthers often believe about our moon. The above video is NOT endorsed by the History Channel, but with this guy's YouTube skills, you could seriously hardly even tell!!!!!!

This Fucking Guy

In 2012, illuminati lizard-people conspiracy theorist David Icke was interviewed by Dutch radio personality Willem de Ridder, who asked him on camera to explain his theory about the moon.

"Putting it in simple terms, they have no idea where the moon came from."

You can watch that and listen to him tell the facts, or read this little detail from DavidIcke.com:

The Moon is not 'real'? What? Yes, but hold on. There is an important point to make here. If people are going to grasp what is happening they need a blank sheet of paper when it comes to judging what is meant by 'big'. Remember that humans have been held in a mind prison for aeons. We don't know what 'big' is, or how such structures and technology of extraordinary size (to us) can be produced.

Got a blank sheet of paper? Let's talk about size. The moon is huge. Can you draw the moon on a blank sheet of paper? No, you can't, because the moon is too big.

Too big to be . . .

. . . REAL! Icke continues, in a blog post I guess?, titled "WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT OUR SOLAR SYSTEM? … NEXT TO NOTHING":

There is one heck of a story to be told about what is happening on, and especially inside the Moon. I have been connecting the dots with regard to the Moon for the best part of two years and it is clear to me that it is not a 'natural' body, but a control system that is manipulating our sense of reality to make us the slave race of those who are doing it.

Who are the those who are doing it? We may never know.

Reactions to Moon Truth

What is it that people think when they hear that everything we know about the moon is wrong and a lie?

kikyobootydawg December 16, 2013 at 7:41 pm boii dis shit is craz I high as a muthafuka boiiii

This is Illuminati Month on Black Bag, in which Gawker locks itself in the woodshed and breaks out the red yarn to explore its favorite conspiracy theories. Photo by AP

