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Eleven years ago, when I committed to loving my husband "in sickness and in health," I never figured that "health" was going to be the tricky part.

A healthy lifestyle is what brought us together. While we met at work in Ottawa, we got to know each other playing on an Ultimate Frisbee team. Team-sport exercise was a natural part of life. Then, one day, he said: "I'm thinking of taking up running."

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We had just moved to Whitehorse and were loving it, but the basketball and Ultimate Frisbee scene were not quite what they were in Ottawa. He wanted to stay healthy, especially with our first baby on the way. Since his usual activities were no longer viable options, I told him, "Go for it!"

Those three words unleashed the fury of an obsession for which I was not prepared.

First, the gear started showing up: running watch; wind briefs, and the first of many pairs of toe shoes.

Then came the events. While we were at brunch with friends, our babies playing on the floor nearby, he announced: "I think I want to go for a half-marathon."

My friend immediately shot me a sympathetic look, while her husband and fellow runner high-fived my husband.

"You're in for it now," she whispered to me. And she was right. What I thought would be a one-off event turned out to be only the first of many. How was I to know that one half-marathon would lead to annual events from full marathons to ultras?

After he came home from a five-hour training run one day, I confronted him about the time he was spending on running rather than with his family. He explained that the races kept him motivated to run, that running kept him healthy, and that if he was healthy he would be a better parent, and be around for a long time for me and the kids. So, really, he was doing it all for the family.

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I had trouble seeing his logic because, shortly after that, he fell asleep on the couch, dead to the world, while I cleaned up the "accident" our two-year-old had had on the carpet, then fed our screaming newborn.

Since my husband seemed so taken with running, I thought I would check out what the hype was all about. Maybe it would be like our Ultimate Frisbee days, when we could stay active together. He was pretty excited about our first run, and told me I could dictate the pace. But as we went along, I could feel him getting agitated.

"Our pace is only an eight-minute kilometre," he blurted after about 20 minutes. "My heart rate is a mere 90 bpm, and I'm pushing a 60-pound chariot uphill!"

I had no idea what those numbers meant collectively. I just knew that I was out of breath.

"You told me I could set the pace!" I wheezed back.

"Yeah, but I didn't think you'd go this slowly. Now I'll have to go for another run so I can actually get a workout." It all went downhill from there.

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Since then, my husband and I have learned the importance of striking a balance. When one wants to exercise at the end of the day, the other will cover off the bedtime routine, kitchen clean-up or whatever other chores are required. If he needs to do a long training run, he takes advantage of the lovely extended northern days, and runs in the late evening. We occasionally meet for lunch to do short runs together. We have evolved to a place where we enjoy the run and each other's company the entire time.

Most importantly, we're having the ongoing discussion about what each of us needs to be healthy. It's not surprising that it's different for both of us, but what did surprise me was how hard I found it to ask for it for myself. In being preoccupied with my kids' and husband's well-being, I unintentionally neglected my own. I'd never had to think about health so specifically before, and lost track of my own needs.

Much of my thinking about this was done on my runs. The runs were not long or fast, but being on my own, taking in the fresh air and beautiful Yukon scenery was the perfect setting for reflection. I thought about physical health and tempering my competitive nature so as not to compare myself with my husband or anyone else. I focused on what was required to ensure my mental health wouldn't be neglected either.

I'm also seeing the impact that a healthy lifestyle has on our children, who recently ran in their first race. The chance to participate would have been enough for them, but to top it off they both won medals. Beyond the physical aspect, I saw in their smiles the confidence gained from achieving something on their own, as well as the social skills being developed by engaging with other participants.

So, while it's a constant work in progress, I think we have a handle on "in sickness and in health." Now to tackle the "for richer or for poorer" bit.

Melissa Yu Schott lives in Whitehorse.