Oh, hey, hi there!

In case you were wondering how to commemorate 9/11 — this is definitely not the way to do it.

x President Trump recites the Pledge of Allegiance at this morning's 9/11 commemoration in Shanksville, PA. pic.twitter.com/KZPWjai9ye— The Recount (@therecount) September 11, 2020

His bottom teeth sort of chitter-chattered during the “under God” portion, but he didn’t enunciate. Either way, he elided several bits of this very easy to remember pledge that we all said hundreds of times growing up.

Oh, and remember when Trump lied about the Democrats taking “under God” out of the Pledge at their convention? (They didn’t.) Kind of ironic, huh?

<

p class=”is-empty-p”>

It’s fair to ask whether Trump even knows the words to the Pledge of Allegiance. I strongly suspect the answer is no.

Of course, if Barack Obama had mumbled his way through the Pledge on the anniversary of 9/11 like a 6-year-old schoolboy who’d just drank six juice boxes, we’d still be hearing about it. But Trump? He’ll just dry-hump another flag into ribbons and all will be forgiven.

Good gourd, you won’t believe this. Two of Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s books are now available for $1.99 apiece! Lasso copies of Dear Fcking Moron: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 Letters to Donald Trump for this comically low price (in two days the price goes back to normal). And, as always, you can get your copy of Dear F*cking Lunatic and preorder the final installment, Goodbye, Asshat.