I regret to inform you that it’s Halloween again. Yes, it’s time for cubs to run underfoot while shrieking, throwing spiders at each other, and getting violently sick on candy corn. If you think I’m exaggerating, I’ve got some floors that need mopping.

By the way, if I see any “hilarious” Evon Gnashblade costumes this year, I’ll press charges for impersonation and fraud.