A Pakistani blockbuster with mountains, terrorists and RAW agents who like to dance

You've probably heard by now that an action movie called Waar was released our side of the border. Already people are calling it the "highest grossing Pakistani film of all time", which is a bit like saying it's the tallest kid in the second grade. Still, it's a sexily shot, slickly edited and surprisingly entertaining two-hour romp against the backdrop of mountains, terrorists and RAW agents who like to dance.

We enter the story in an undisclosed location, in the middle of a tense rescue operation where our muscled commandoes (still rocking the Rocky look, you can't keep a good mullet down) save a grateful Chinese man from being decapitated by terrorists. It's all very exciting and proficient. The only man missing from our group is Shaan, the lead actor. Shaan is the most famous male actor we have, Pakistan's Shahrukh Khan if you will. Actually, considering he's been around since the 1980s, Shaan is our Anil Kapoor, Shahrukh, Aamir and Salman Khan all rolled into one big, round package. He plays Mujtaba, the Best of Agents who's been going through some painful (and time-consuming) angst, but is returning to the espionage game to track down an old nemesis and save the country from certain doom ("which one exactly?" one is tempted to ask).

Next, we see Meesha Shafi (of Coke Studio and The Reluctant Fundamentalist fame) coming out of a refugee camp surrounded by children. She plays an NGO worker who cares. Quickly you figure out she's not what she seems as she calls to ask a favour of Ali Azmat's character, Ejaz, a thinly veiled version of a Pakistani playboy politician. Ejaz is building a dam for the country he loves and in a fit of moral courage decides to dump his mistress, Meesha's character Lakshmi, to go back to his knocked-up wife. Lakshmi doesn't take this well, but he leaves anyway without having drunk his red wine (one point for piety). Obviously Lakshmi is a RAW agent bent on destroying Ejaz's well-intentioned plans for no other reason than she can. (Much of the time she walks around people slowly and seductively; the echoing sound of Lakshmi's heels on expensive flooring is as much part of the movie soundtrack as gunshots.) Finally, we are taken to a set somewhere in North Waziristan and it is here, amidst the inexplicably Mughal architecture, that the bearded terrorists twirl their mustaches with practised glee as they plan how to wipe out the good people of the Land of the Pure.

... contd.

ALSO READ The taper tigers

Please read our terms of use before posting comments