MERIDIAN, ID—Approaching the mysterious beings with a sense of curiosity and wonder, 5-year-old explorer Olivia Reynolds reportedly made contact Wednesday with two unknown life-forms in an adjacent booth at a local diner. According to witnesses, the harrowing journey began when the intrepid Reynolds stood up on her seat and peered over the padded vinyl backrest, greeting the small clan of exotic creatures by saying, “Hi.” After making initial contact, Reynolds reportedly extended the gift of a broken crayon as a sort of peace offering between herself and the peculiar organisms as she probed deeper into their culture by asking, “Who are you?” and, “Do you like dinosaurs?” Once Reynolds had gained the trust of the entities, the pre-kindergartener then attempted to embed herself in their community by boldly climbing over the divider and using their table to prop herself up. At press time, Reynolds had retrieved a piece of bacon for later analysis and was fleeing back to the safety of her own kind.

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