Parents Worried They'll Have To Raise Their Own Children As Government Schools Shut Down

U.S.—Parents across the nation have expressed their worry, fear, and shock at having to raise their own children now that government schools have temporarily shut down.

Those who send their children to public schools registered their displeasure at the government for not doing its main job of indoctrinating their children, even temporarily.

"Raise, educate, and parent my children?" said one exasperated mother as her teen sat at home, bored and with nothing to do. "But that's the government's job! What am I supposed to do? Teach them things? Instill them with my values? Train them up in the way that they should go?"

"Honestly, if this keeps up, I'm going to move to a different country where I can count on the government to parent my children. This is ridiculous."

Luckily, parents quickly discovered they could just do what they usually do when their kids get home from school and let them lock themselves in their rooms with unfettered access to the internet, a wonderful place where nothing bad ever happens.

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