For political news junkies, this past week amounted to one hell of a bender. Nearly every day there was some massive report that would send Twitter into a frenzy. You could almost set a watch by the late-afternoon news alert on your phone. Oh, a notification from CNN? It must be 5pm Eastern! With so much going on, there's probably something you missed. That's why we're here, to try and sweep up the debris of the last seven days' worth of online activity. Buckle up, buttercup. Here's what else was happening on the web this week.

Which Hunt?

What Happened: When it comes to President Donald Trump, everything is the biggest in history. Including the scale of his own personal injustices, apparently.

What Really Happened: If there's one thing you can rely upon from President Trump (well, aside from revealing classified information to Russian officials, and being afraid of stairs), it's a persecution complex that, many people say, is one of the biggest in the world. Therefore, it came as no surprise earlier this week when the president made this announcement:

It was, let's be honest, an easily disproven statement. Why, even Twitter could do it.

Of course, it's not like the clowning got so bad that even fictional politicians got in on the act or anything...

Oh, wait. Yes it did.

The Takeaway: Let's cut to our live feed of some politicians who also might have an idea of what it's like to be treated unfairly.

James Comey Has the Receipts

What Happened: Turns out, FBI directors are pretty good at taking notes. Who'd'a thunk?

What Really Happened: In a week of big news scoops the New York Times had one of the biggest: Ousted FBI director James Comey had written a memo in February that appears to suggest President Trump told him to drop the investigation into former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn, with the president reportedly telling Comey, "I hope you can let this go."

Unsurprisingly, this turned out to be a big deal. Just look at the responses!

But not everyone felt that way about the news, of course:

The Takeaway: For some, the very idea that Comey's memo might be the thing that turned people against President Trump was just a little too on-the-nose.

Julian Estranged

What Happened: Julian Assange is no longer being investigated by Swedish authorities over rape allegations. He's very happy about that.

What Really Happened: Friday morning, news broke that Sweden had dropped its probe into rape allegations against WikiLeaks' Julian Assange.

Assange offered a somewhat smug response to the news on Twitter:

Meanwhile, others weren't entirely convinced this is the kind of thing Assange should be smug about (especially since the case was only dropped because Swedish authorities couldn't get to Assange to notify him of the charges).

But, wait! Assange had another, almost parodic Twitter response to the whole thing:

"Detained" apparently has a new definition, considering Assange was the one who went to London's Ecuadorean Embassy for asylum, maintaining a virtual hand in international politics with the occasional leak. But, wait. Could there be something else happening here?

As journalists and supporters gathered outside the Ecuadorian embassy hoping for a glimpse of the man, they were disappointed—although cat fanciers got an eyeful:

And where is Assange going to go now? Probably nowhere, but odds are that he'll keep tweeting.

The Takeaway: Then again, maybe this whole thing is some kind of weird cover-up.

#ChucksForChelsea

What Happened: It's been a long time coming, but whistleblower Chelsea Manning was finally released from prison last week, only to find a new home in the hearts (and shoes) of social media users.

What Really Happened: After seven years' imprisonment, Chelsea Manning was released this week. As is only befitting a contemporary folk hero, her first movements of freedom happened to be chronicled on social media:

As she began to reemerge, the response on social media was overwhelmingly positive:

But what would the internet be without contrarian haters? Well, it'd be a nicer, more welcoming space to be enjoyed more easily, but still. That's not what the internet is actually like, as you're about to see:

As all the responses to Manning's release started rolling in, supporters started #ChucksForChelsea, showing their solidarity through footwear.

Hey, Converse: There's a really obvious, newshook-filled branding opportunity here if you want it.

The Takeaway: If you're looking to connect the dots between Manning's release and Sweden ending its Assange probe, just remember this happened:

Avocad-Oh-No...

What Happened: When the internet wasn't panicking about politics last week, it was oddly worried about the cost of avocado on toast.

What Really Happened: Let's call this a hot take too far, shall we?

The man responsible is Australian millionaire Tim Gurner, who told a local TV show "when I was trying to buy my first home, I wasn't buying smashed avocado for $19 and four coffees at $4 each. We're at a point now where the expectations of younger people are very, very high. They want to eat out every day, they want to travel to Europe every year. The people that own homes today worked very, very hard for it [and] saved every dollar, did everything they could to get up the property investment ladder."

OK, that's kind of ridiculous. You could get upset about it, or you could just let Twitter do that for you.

It wasn't just Twitter, however; the comments sparked all kinds of discussion about avocados and money. Hey, something was going to start that conversation eventually, right?

The Takeaway: It wouldn't be the internet if there wasn't at least one overwrought discussion about a rather non-newsy news story every week. This one was no different.