Recording today made me absolutely crazy. It’s probably my karma for allowing myself to be in a dark mood yesterday. At any rate, I spent a couple of hours today tweaking and rewriting an old poem over and over again today while simultaneously recording and recording myself singing and speaking it…also over and over again. All this took place with me feeling extremely self-conscious about my husband being out on the porch and my neighbors being a wall away.

Don’t get me wrong. I had a ton of fun working on this recording! Nothing makes me happier than writing poetry and singing. Putting the two together is an absolute joy. I just didn’t feel like what I was doing was clicking today. That’s how any creative project works, though. Some days everything flows so easily. Other days, one must mule through and continuously rework what is being created. I’m just glad today wasn’t the last type, when everything seems completely blocked (I suppose that was yesterday).

As has become customary, let me give you the lyrics to Renowned in the World first, Sweet Audience:

“Here is the dream that I kept secret

Wrapped in a tale I hope to tell

Sometimes I wonder

Where did it all go?

But then I see my desire is real

Dancing, moving

Knowing just who I am meant to be

That’s when I see it

That’s when I feel it

That’s when I know what is coming

I can sense my own heart

My eyes are closed

I’m behind the wired glass

Whilst they are watching

They are listening

And all they want is more

I’m giving my all

And one day to find

My sweet stage

My colored lights

They were with me just yesterday

And will lift me still higher tomorrow

I am sorry if I seem shallow

But I am not sure that is the case

My honesty is revealed with completion

This is the only way

My goal-fantasy

It reveals the very fabric of my life

My spirit knows this

For I have learned

I have listened well

Prepare me now

For world love’s fierceness

And the warmth of center spotlight”

Obviously, this poem is about my dream of being a professional vocal artist. I think I wrote it a year or two ago (although after today, this is different from the original version. I love the poem itself, but the problem was that I just couldn’t seem to come up with an adequate tune for it. Everything I came up with seemed either boring and repetitive on one end of the spectrum, or chaotic and too inconsistent on the other. I similarly struggled to find a background that seemed to fit well. There are many different background tunes that I tried and deleted.

Regardless, after what feels like a million different takes, here is what I landed on. I don’t particularly like it, but my husband says he does (either he’s being really nice or I am being my own worst critic…maybe both.

On a brighter note, I am pleased to say that my voice is definitely improving. It feels amazing to know that my daily vocal work is paying off! I can and certainly plan to still get much better, but already I am sounding clearer and stronger, especially in my naturally “golden notes”. If you compare the following video to my improv from earlier in this blog, I think you will really notice the difference.

Well, that’s what I’ve got for you today, Amazing Audience. I hope you all are doing wonderfully! ‘All my love!

“We can each define ambition and progress for ourselves. The goal is to work toward a world where expectations are not set by the stereotypes that hold us back, but by our personal passion, talents and interests.” –Sheryl Sandberg