mindutopia Sun 17-Dec-17 20:27:02

Personally, I would not go for a 'sexy' gift in this situation. My husband tried to get me a 'sexy' gift for my birthday (it wasn't even anything crazy, but obviously the intention was to spice things up and make me feel sexy again) after we had our daughter. It was NOT what I would have wanted anyway and didn't make me feel at all sexy (actually, it made me feel like crap because it was like someone pointing out that I'd become a bit frumpy lately and didn't do anything but care for a baby). What most women want and need is time and opportunity for self-care. What about some nice bath things (bath salts, body scrub, etc.) and a spa day so she can take a day and go relax and not have to think about anything at home? You do all the household chores, have the house clean and tidy for her when she gets home, cook her a nice dinner and sit down just the two of you that night? My husband does this now pretty much every year (he learned after the incident above!) and it's lovely. Sometimes the best thing you can give is just time off and time to focus on herself. Or if you genuinely want to get her something 'sexy' talk to her about it first, let her help you pick it and then surprise her. It's much nicer when you get someone involved in helping to choose something like that. One person's cup of tea is definitely not another's.