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For Steven Saunders, it was the one nagging worry he was keeping from his loving family.

Made all the harder to bear because of his deep love for wife Josie – his soulmate.

And also because he feared hurting the five wonderful children the devoted couple had from their previous relationships .

But in December 2014, Steven, 55, could no longer stand being a woman trapped in a man’s body .

And so he broke down and confessed to Josie, 48, that he longed to wear her clothes.

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In that moment, all the hurt Steven imagined he might cause was swept away.

And he found just how deep a family’s love can run. Because instead of being shocked and angry, understanding Josie took him clothes shopping.

The children rallied round too, giving him their blessing as he began his journey of transformation from Steven to Pamela.

Read more:Army's first transgender officer returns to Afghanistan

Artist son Nick, 19, even says it has brought them all closer together.

“We have a very open minded family,” he says.

“Before, there was an unknown stress and tension. Now we work much better.”

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Maths tutor Josie says: “There are outward changes in terms of clothing.

"But the internal connection I have with Pamela is the same as when she was Steven. The only difference is Pamela feeling happier in herself.”

It is a testament to the love they found together 18 years ago when they began dating after their marriages failed.

Read more:Transgender headteacher tells of 55-year struggle

“I quickly realised I liked everything about Josie,” says Pamela.

“There was a magnetic attraction. We moved in together in December of that year.”

The couple wed in 2006 in front of 40 family and friends.

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Steven occasionally enjoyed buying and wearing women’s underwear which Josie was comfortable with.

But his deeper anxiety over his sexuality only burst out three years later.

Pamela says: “I was talking to Josie and putting on women’s clothes just came out of the blue. It unleashed the floodgates.

"All of a sudden, everything made sense in my life. I thought back to when I was 12 and my mum gave me two tops to wear. And how I was happier in female company growing up.”

Josie says: “How did I react? Well, it was fine. I was surprised by the speed of her revelation, but I tend to take everything in my stride.

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“If I’d married a mental image of somebody then I could see that would be a problem, but I didn’t, I married the person.

"Pamela’s the same person inside, except happier. We talked about it right from the start and looked at different types of clothes online.

“We went out and bought everything together.

"It was really exciting and scary too, because I was convinced people were going to work out they weren’t for me. Then we came home and she tried them on ”

Pamela, who is 6ft 1in, began wearing women’s clothes full-time at home in Glastonbury, Somerset, before working up the confidence to step outside dressed as a woman in February.

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“I went to a meeting of transgender people,” she says. “It was nerve-racking. But once you become used to it you don’t give it a second thought.”

Josie admits she was very nervous at first too.

“I did have a little period of adjustment, worrying what everyone would think,” she says.

"Then I realised it didn’t matter.”

Pamela’s children – Ellie, 22, Freddy, 20, and Ivan, 18 – are very laid back, as are Josie’s two, Anthony, 22, and Nick, 19.

“We told them one at a time,” says Josie. “And they just accept you for who you are. It’s very refreshing.”

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“My children’s acceptance of Pamela has really helped me, too.

“They accompanied Pamela on many of her first trips as a woman and showed me that my worries about what people might say were unfounded.

“They accept that Steven is now Pamela, but they still call him Dad.”

Nick says: “Clearly Pam had been keeping it all locked up tightly inside, so it was quite a surprise.”

Student Ellie adds: “It was a shock seeing him in women’s clothes, but I love it now. I feel he’s a happier person and more in touch emotionally.

“I don’t think this has had any impact on our family. It’s just a mark of our acceptance for each other.”

By November last year, after a lot of soul searching, former engineer Pamela decided to transgender.

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Even Pamela’s mum Blossie, 75, has also accepted her son’s decision to become a woman.

She says: “I’m very proud of Pamela. All I want is for her to be happy.”

By November last year, after a lot of soul searching, former engineer Pamela decided to transgender.

“I would like to have a partial sex change,” she says. “Hormones and an orchiectomy (testicles removal).”

The couple say their sex life is better than ever. For Josie, the attraction to her husband has never faltered.

“It’s not a shallow thing, it’s a whole body personal attraction,” says Josie. “We’re very happy.”

Pamela, now a development coach, says: “If we can help other people wanting to transgender by telling our story, that would be just brilliant.

“My wife battled throat cancer two years ago and since then we’ve had a ‘life is too short, live it now’ attitude. You can make a drama of things or you can decide it’s going to be easy.”

Kids are more accepting today

TV psychologist Emma Kenny hailed Pamela’s story as “a sign of our times”.

She said: “It’s great to see her family so accepting. I’ve worked with transgender people and, about a decade ago, many were suicidal as no one would accept them.

"But now children are raised in an environment where being transgender is normalised.

"They are far more sympathetic and will benefit from having a happier less anxious parent.”