The Alchimista robot bartender is fast, efficient, and doesn’t mess up the ratios when it’s drunk.

I was cruising around BAR at the NRA Show (National Restaurant Association, not the Pew Pew Pew Club) and spotted this machine dropping drinks like Charles Joly. I’ve seen automatic cocktail makers on the internet before, but never has one appeared in front of my face with an offer to make me a drink. Obviously I had to stop.

I went for the most complicated and disgusting drink on Earth – the Long Island Iced Tea. It took all of 4 seconds for gravity to help pour my drink at the exact preset measurements. If you listen carefully, you can hear a women having an orgasm at the very last second. That’s how impressive it is.

Bar owners will likely rejoice at the idea of zero waste and no overpours, but what about the regulars? You know, the people who’ve logged enough hours on the stool that they deserve a little extra? Don’t worry. There’s a button for “house pour” as well.

The standard Alchimista robot bartender can hold 11 boozes and non-sparkling bottles, and it has tanks for 6 different line-fed sparkling fluids and juices. I was a little bit tipsy like J-Kwon of old by the this time in the day – 4pm or so – but I’m pretty sure I recall the guy saying, “We’ll make one with 44 bottles if that’s what you want.” The standard version is $12,000 though.

If you can’t wait for these to be in a bar near you, check out Technobeverage and get your own. I’m sure they take Chase Quickpay.