WHEN Claire met her husband she was a strong, successful, financially independent woman. Ten years later when they finally divorced, she was broken.

She didn’t see it coming and could hardly even realise it was happening. Formerly self-sufficient and career oriented, Claire had fallen victim to a strain of abuse that’s affecting millions of Australian women, but many of us don’t even realise exists.

Claire was suffering financial abuse, a form of domestic abuse that is estimated to affect more than two million Australian women whose abusers seek to gain power and control over them through economic means.

“I was a well-paid, educated, independent woman when I met my husband and never thought I could become a victim of abuse,” she told news.com.au.

“The situation when we were first married felt very collaborative, but things changed and it was only when it far too late that I realised I had lost all control of my own situation and my independence.”

Claire said her husband’s controlling tendencies were first disguised as sweet concerns for the couple’s future as a family, but slowly built up to deprive her of money and independence.

“He would make suggestions which all sounded so sensible, like saying let’s not do this or buy that, let’s get ahead in our mortgage,” he said.

“It felt very sensible in the beginning and I felt safe being with someone who was sensible with money, plus I had my own income and my own credit card, so I still had a choice.”

Claire began to lose her choices when she fell pregnant in her late 20s and stopped working. Because she wasn’t earning the money, her husband convinced her she hadn’t earnt the right to have a say in how it was spent either.

“I lost control in having a say. Decisions were made without me and it really deteriorated from there,” she said.

“He started to micromanage day to day decisions about buying food and clothing, and over time when expenses increased, the amount of money I was expected to live on didn’t.”

Claire said she struggled to make ends meet, but it didn’t occur to her at the time that it was because her husband was manipulating their finances.

“It didn’t feel out of step with society. I had friends in similar situations, which I guess shows how common it can be, so when I compared my situation to theirs it didn’t ring any alarm bells,” she said.

“And it’s money, you don’t really talk about it with other people because it seems like such a private matter, so I didn’t realise I was being deprived.

“In a way it felt normal, but it didn’t feel good.”

Claire continued to feel unhappy in her relationship and her husband’s controlling ways escalated and took on other forms. He abused her psychologically, emotionally, and at times physically.

“But since he never hit me, never took a swing, I didn’t consider myself a victim of domestic violence,” she said.

“It’s only know after years of counselling that I realise how wrong that thinking was.”

Claire has been receiving counselling and assistance from community service BaptistCare, which to coincide with White Ribbon Day today is launching a Financial Inclusion Action Plan to work towards strengthening financial inclusion of disadvantaged Australians, particularly women escaping domestic violence.

Financial abuse can often lead into other forms of abuse and manipulation, leaving the victim in a difficult position when it comes to leaving the relationship with little independence.

BaptistCare general manager of community services said addressing this form of domestic violence was an important issue.

“We’re at the coalface of this battle and we know the impact of financial exclusion can be profound,” he said.

“We want to shine a light on financial abuse as a particular form of domestic violence that can have a significant impact on a woman’s decision to remain in an abusive relationship.”

Any woman experiencing domestic or family violence can seek support by contacting the National Domestic Violence Service on 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732). If you are in immediate danger call triple zero (000).

Name has been changed to protect identity.