The good news is that once cognitive distortions are recognized and their destructive potentials brought to the surface, one becomes deeply motivated to learning new ways of thinking and being.

Because it is only here, in the area of thinking and behavior, that we have any degree of conscious control. That can influence our amygdala.

The amygdala can only be trained with behavior and memory.

It cannot be trained by language. I can't borrow from my high school principal and just command my amygdala to "better listen to me when I'm talking to you!". The amygdala cares jack. All it wants is "Prove that you're not scared by behaving without fear and I'll buy it. Until then, my alarm bells are ringing".

Of course, behavior is guided by thinking. What thoughts and philosophies will guide you to behave correctly to solve your anxiety?

Here, the rule of thumb is: Drop the distortions but don't force them to disappear from your head. Knowing that your conditioned thinking has been distorted is correct, but forcing your brain not to produce old thoughts will be making the same mistake as before. You cannot manipulate thoughts (no one can), but you can develop new thinking alongside the distortions.

If you expect that your anxiety recovery can only start when the thoughts "Check the stove again" or "People don't like me" or "I have wasted my life thinking distortedly" never appear in your head, then you will fail again. Your amygdala will never see your success over your fears.

But when the amygdala sees that despite the thoughts, you are safe, it will have no evidence of a threat.

Remember the amygdala is not out to get you.

Quite the contrary. It's trying to protect you. YOU have shown the amygdala in the past that your triggers have taken you down. If that is your only honest, factual, in-the-face, can't-deny-or-defend absolute truth, then that's all your amygdala knows and cares about.

You cannot "tell" it that things are different unless you create a memory that things are different.

This means that unless you behave un-anxiously for that first time and create that god-forsaken positive memory for your amygdala, you cannot go far.

Now this sounds like a real catch-22 doesn't it? You need to behave properly to calm your amygdala, but you really need a got-damn calm amygdala to behave properly in the first place. Right?

Wrong.

You don't need a calm amygdala to make your behavior happen. You may prefer one, but you don't as hell need one. Screw it. Not at this stage of your life (and anxiety). You have to make peace with your amygdala being what it is by now- "A highly sensitive brain part that triggers needlessly."

Despite the suckiness of the symptoms in the beginning, remember it's just in the beginning. The amygdala is one heck of a trainable, mold-able piece of work. You show it a little bit of what it wants to see, and it dutifully backs off. You are in charge. You have to help your amygdala now.

Yes, the symptoms will be a real bitch when you first start out, but so what? Not once have anxiety symptoms killed anyone. Hold on to that truth and weather the symptoms. Let the amygdala do what it wants, and still do the right thing, anyway.

What is the right thing to do?

This you will have to figure out as it depends on the kind of issues that rock your boat.

Sometimes it's clear what to do. As in panic disorder, agoraphobia, and OCD. It is allowing the negative thoughts to continue, and despite them consciously deciding to face you fears. If your amygdala symptoms make you feel the dread, let it. Let it ride its own storm while you continue to watch your TV show. Unfazed.

Other times, it really, really depends. I'm not a fan of articles which lists steps like "get proper sleep", "exercise", "don't worry", "think less". What if you can't do any of this because of the circumstances in your life? Then you need a more creative plan. Find it.

That's why it all depends. Because it's circumstantial.

Is it quitting your job or not?

Getting married or not?

Going to the party because society tells you to? Or is it going because you'll enjoy it? Or is it not going because you fear a panic attack? Or is it not going because you prefer watching TV and you're okay with that?

Which one?

In the end, you have to decide because they're your own triggers. Not mine. You have to figure out what to do so you suffer less.

These aren't always black or white answers. Who says any "one" person has the right answer nailed down which applies for all of us? Screw that. Only you can finally decide this.

If you need to start building the self-confidence to trust your decisions, that's a different matter. There you can get help. But the final behaviors will always be yours to make. If that freaks you out, figure out why.

With the right kind of tools and support, you can solve the mystery of your anxiety and head off in the direction of your own values and goals. Decided by you.

THIS IS AMYGDALA RE-TRAINING.

And it's possible even for Sam. At this stage of his life. With all his prior life spent in anxiety.

Start getting educated and informed on what are the healthiest ways of thinking and behaving for you. Not for anyone else. But for you. At this stage. When you come with all of your unique anxious baggage. The pain and suffering that you've gone through, and the misguided messes you created for yourself because you didn't know any better.