Anonymous asked: Sorry, from the last ask: the problem for me is that I don't understand gender. I don't experience dysphoria and I believe I would be fine in any other remotely healthy body of any sex. Being transgender seems to be a mix of feeling like being in the wrong body and preferring 'right' genders gender roles. It's very confusing to me, because it's often realized though liking dresses, pink, etc over typical boy stuff, but would it be they like still like it if it wasn't typical girl stuff?

everyone has a different experience with their gender. some trans women meticulously shave their legs and faces, do makeup everyday, and practice to raise their voices. others don’t mind growing a little facial hair or will wear “masculine” clothes as much as they want. some trans people are very concerned with passing since cis people seem to value it so much and pretty much demand it (”you don’t look or sound like a woman so i’m gonna beat you up for trying to use a women’s restroom”). not all trans people think they were “born in the wrong body”, but more that it’s society’s fault for thinking that just because they have certain body parts or look a certain way, that’s what gender they should be labelled as. and that’s wrong.

i’ll get a bit personal: for a long time, i didn’t really feel like a “real” girl. i wore t shirts and jeans every day (aside from mandatory school uniform, where i was forced to wear a skirt). didn’t shave my legs. didn’t do my hair. makeup was a bother. i loathed the color pink. my mom always said i dressed like a boy. eventually i came to realize that i was nonbinary, that i felt more neutral than anything. not genderless, but a completely neutral gender. and since i realized that, i let myself like “girly” things. i love pink and pastels. i try to buy brighter colored clothing when i can. i allow myself to indulge in cute things. i genuinely enjoy wearing makeup and getting a manicure. and you know what? i’m still nonbinary. i can wear a dress and i’m still not a girl. being DFAB, will people assume i’m a girl? yes, they will. i have breasts, so that certainly doesn’t help. i also have a light voice, so that’s an indicator, too. i bleed once a month. i can get pregnant. society sees these things as ticked boxes for a female standard. “you wear makeup. you have breasts. you like cute things. you were born with a vagina. of course you’re a girl.” i have this privilege that i can use a women’s restroom and not be attacked, because 99% of the time i look like a girl, even though i’m NOT a girl. so i am lucky in that regard.



gender roles? those are obsolete. trans women can have beards. trans boys can wear skirts. you can be soft and gentle, tough and feisty, enjoy romcoms and cooking shows, watch wrestling and football, no matter what gender you are.