Come one, come all. The Thurman Cafe is the perfect place to spend your entire Saturday. Come in at 1 PM and sit on the luxurious outside benches while you wait two hours for the tiniest table we have. Once you are seated we will take thirty minutes to get your water and to take your order. It’s a great place to get the evil eye from your neighbor (that is basically sitting at the same table as you) as it is almost impossible not to eavesdrop on them. After your hour-long water drinking experience, indulge in our Thurman burger that is too big to fit your mouth around. You’ll end up eating each topping individually until the burger is not even halfway gone and you’re full from the three glasses of water you drank earlier. Now that it’s 5 PM and you can’t move from this massive burger, you get to drive out of downtown Columbus back home to take the biggest dump of your life. Consider the Thurman Cafe a whole day event.