Report: Trump Now Enjoys Having Putin’s Hand up His Ass

THE PLEBIAN: According to a press report released by the White House today Trump now enjoys having Putin’s hand up his ass. “At first it was quite uncomfortable to have Vlad fisting me.” Trump said according to the report. “ Now I’m all stretched out and he can fit his whole arm in there.”

In Congress, Representatives were quick to comment on the press release. Senator Lindsey Graham tweeted, “Trump’s become a literally Muppet.” Afterward he declined to do anything tangible to punish the President.