John Lennon once quipped “All you need is love.” That’s right millennials, if you have love you don’t need to worry about your abysmal job prospects, mountain of student loans, rent, utilities, identity theft, an aging population of baby boomers, a massive federal debt that you will be asked to repay, and the prospect of tax increases.

Because you’ve got the third edition of Dear Econ (yes I can count to 3, but here’s number 2 if you’re interested ) to help you with the one thing you only really need: love. Remember how Ben Bernanke bailed out the banks not with 30 year treasury bond buybacks but with just some love (love in the form of 30 year treasury bond buybacks)?

Econ is here with the fiscal stimulus you need to turn your depression into a “bull” market.

Reader Questions

BADGERS NEED ANSWERS

Badger Asks: hey Econ what should a retired badmin do to occupy his twilight years?”

Econ Answers: Buzzfeed style answer here since that’s what the cool kids are doing nowadays.

5 things to do (and not do) after your retirement as an RD2L admin

Do:

Practice your Grimstroke in a private lobby.

Grimstroke is the hot new hero in Dota 2 (a video game about 2 giant armies fighting for a river the size of a small pond). In order to master this hero, you could spend time in a private lobby practicing your grimstroke.

2. Pay your taxes

Render unto Caesar what is Caesar’s

3. Consider starting a new romantic relationship.

Have you considered checking out Broker Check? It’s the hot new site for singles looking for investment advisers, broker dealers, and fiduciary asset managers. And sometimes love. Also, some people on the site are married… but so are people on all the other dating sites and that hasn’t seemed to get in the way of… whatever people do on Broker Check?

4. Drink some Water

It is important to stay hydrated.

5. Do whatever that letter you get in the mail from the Illuminati tells you to do.

We are always watching.

Don’t:

Practice stroking yourself grimly in a lobby.

That’s just weird. The last guy who got caught doing that was shamed by his entire village so he harvested them all with a paint brush for power. Then he got fat cause he had to eat all the food in the village by himself before it expired.

This guy did some weird stuff in a Marriott and screwed over the entire village. Don’t be like this guy.

Don’t be that guy who harvests his entire village with ink then has to eat all the expiring eggs.

2. Drink coffee after dinner.

Totally screws up your sleep schedule. But hey, it’s great energy to write shitpost columns on Medium.

3. Trust a bunch of Greeks claiming that their giant wooden horse is an offering to appease the gods and a gift of peace.

IT’S A TRAP!

You know what it is

4. Volunteer to become an RD2L admin again.

IT’S ALSO A TRAP!

5. Write a relationship column for a bunch of video game nerds.

The loveboat’s maiden voyage set sail for fail and hasn’t turned back since.