Minis stopped making fiscal and literal sense when they ceased being mini in size or price. That isn’t to say all Minis lack fundamental appeal. Take, for example, the Clubman. Ironically, although it’s the largest, most expensive car in Mini’s lineup (excluding the Countryman crossover), the wagonlet is our favorite Mini. It has distinct styling and avoids the harsh ride quality that plagues much of the Mini lineup, thanks in part to its longer wheelbase.

The sporty John Cooper Works package unravels that appeal. Where lesser Clubmans exist at the precipice of reason due to being more expensive and tighter inside than other small hatchbacks and wagons, the JCW sails over the edge. The pricey upgrade includes a nifty body kit, LED headlights, special 18-inch wheels, a firmer suspension, and an extra 39 horsepower and 22 lb-ft of torque (for totals of 228 and 258) for the turbocharged 2.0-liter inline-four shared with the next-rung-down Clubman S. And yet the John Cooper Works fails to introduce any tangible performance gain over the Clubman S.

View Photos CHRIS AMOS

Huh?

Plot twist: Every JCW comes with standard all-wheel drive (All4 in Mini-speak), which adds weight. Thus, while this 3430-pound Clubman’s 6.7-second zero-to-60-mph time beats the similarly heavy all-wheel-drive Clubman S by 0.6 second, it’s 0.1 second slower than the much less expensive front-drive Clubman S with the available automatic transmission. (It’s also notably off the 6.0-second pace Mini claims for this model.) There are mainstream mid-size sedans that can show this Mini their taillights, and the similarly priced Ford Focus RS, Honda Civic Type R, and Volkswagen Golf R are between 1.5 and 2.1 seconds quicker.

In our testing, the JCW’s 0.4-inch-lower ride height and firmer suspension do little to improve cornering grip. Riding on the same tires as the Clubman S models we’ve tested (aha!), the JCW beat their 0.87 g of grip around our skidpad by a mere 0.01 g. Here again, the JCW falls well short of the figures posted by the hot hatches listed above. What the suspension does change is the Clubman’s ride quality, imparting some of the flintiness that lesser Clubmans avoid. The JCW’s suspension is enough to draw out some of the run-flat tires’ worst demons, and even our test car’s optional adaptive dampers ($500) couldn’t overcome the added chop over expansion joints and pavement cracks. The dampers can, however, be dialed up even firmer via the Sport driving mode for those who relish a little masochism during their morning commute. Need even more starch? Mini offers larger, 19-inch wheels that—mercifully—weren’t fitted to this Clubman.

View Photos CHRIS AMOS

Upsides among the Downsides

There are positives, though. The car is fun to chuck around, particularly in town, where its tidy dimensions and prodigious low-end torque make quick work of traffic congestion. The dual-mode sport exhaust sounds good, uncorking a few pops and braps from the 2.0-liter engine now and again. There is useful back-seat space for two people, unlike in most other Minis. And the brake pedal operates with a pleasing firmness, although the Brembo brakes it activates take 171 feet to stop the JCW from 70 mph—that’s two feet longer than the front-drive Clubman S yet 13 feet shorter than the Clubman S All4.

But the JCW’s pluses are shared with other Clubmans, leaving you questioning why this version costs so much. Mini opens pricing for the John Cooper Works at $35,950, which is $5650 more than a Clubman S All4 and $7450 more than the quicker-accelerating front-drive Clubman S. It’s also right in the thick of a trio of heavy hitters: the Focus RS, the Civic Type R, and the Golf R. Leaving several big-ticket options on the table, our Mini stickered for $40,250 and even lacked leather upholstery (which ranges from $750 to $2250). It did come with $500 Melting Silver metallic paint (plus the no-cost Chili Red–painted roof and door mirrors), the $750 Cold Weather package (heated front seats), the $2250 Technology package (head-up display, Mini Connected infotainment, navigation, and parking sensors), $300 SiriusXM satellite radio, and the aforementioned $500 adaptive suspension.

View Photos CHRIS AMOS

Although pleasant enough at saner Clubman transaction prices, the interior is not exactly $40K worth of nice. It also suffers from a cavelike feel when decked out in our test car’s dark color scheme and has the same inane control layout—presumably considered cheeky by its designers—as other Minis. The main multifunction knob for the central display is buried between the seats, the headlight switch is hidden behind the steering wheel, and the tiny speedometer markings are mitigated only by a small digital speed readout in the gauge’s lower hemisphere. Oh, and there is a row of easily mistaken, identically sized rocker switches with inscrutable markings ahead of the shifter—one of which (the slightly larger red one) turns the car on and off.

Unbelievably, you can option a Clubman John Cooper Works to the dark side of $50,000 by way of the $1750 automatic transmission, the $1800 Premium package, and a host of tack-on personalization parts. If you’re still tempted—maybe you really dig the Mini’s looks—note that a base or S model gets you the same duds (funky, visibility-hindering rear barn doors and all), similar performance, and a more comfortable ride for much less.

Specifications VEHICLE TYPE: front-engine, all-wheel-drive, 5-passenger, 4-door hatchback

PRICE AS TESTED: $40,250 (base price: $35,950)

ENGINE TYPE: turbocharged and intercooled DOHC 16-valve inline-4, aluminum block and head, direct fuel injection

Displacement: 122 cu in, 1998 cc

Power: 228 hp @ 6000 rpm

Torque: 258 lb-ft @ 1450 rpm

TRANSMISSION: 6-speed manual

DIMENSIONS:

Wheelbase: 105.1 in

Length: 168.3 in

Width: 70.9 in Height: 56.7 in

Passenger volume: 93 cu ft

Cargo volume: 18 cu ft

Curb weight: 3430 lb

C/D TEST RESULTS:

Zero to 60 mph: 6.7 sec

Zero to 100 mph: 16.1 sec

Zero to 130 mph: 32.5 sec

Rolling start, 5-60 mph: 7.4 sec

Top gear, 30-50 mph: 8.7 sec

Top gear, 50-70 mph: 7.1 sec

Standing ¼-mile: 14.8 sec @ 96 mph

Top speed (drag limited, C/D est): 145 mph

Braking, 70-0 mph: 171 ft

Roadholding, 300-ft-dia skidpad: 0.88 g

C/D FUEL ECONOMY:

Observed: 23 mpg

75-mph highway driving: 32 mpg

Highway range: 420 mi

EPA FUEL ECONOMY:

Combined/city/highway: 24/21/31 mpg

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