Recap: We attempted to satisfy the masses by catching a Metagross, only to miserably fail and instead catch a Bulbasaur named NVCKE.

I knew you were going to pick this. I just knew it.

I opened up my emulator today and started playing for hours and hours just attempting to catch a Metagross. It didn’t work. Finally, I spent 3000 of Saphire’s money on PokeBalls (which gave me 15 more to the ones I already had) and got the Premier Ball again. I wandered off to the forest, met up with a Metagross, hardly paid any attention, started throwing PokeBalls, and finally, just when I was down to one lowly PokeBall left—

SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

HOLY SHIT I AM SO EXCITED MY HEART LITERALLY STOPPED WHEN I HEARD THE ‘you caught a Pokemon’ MUSIC.

I AM SO EXCITED I DON’T EVEN CARE HE HAS A CRAPPY NAME!

You all knew it, didn’t you?? You believed in me! You knew I would eventually catch one because I never give up!!

…Or were you really just trying to torture me??

I’m going to pretend you voted Metagross again because you really just believed I could do it.

Rash nature.

See that?? Caught with a PokeBall. The very last one I had in my bag.

Stats.

His moveset makes me cringe so hard. His only offensive attack is Bide.

Took this screencap specifically to show you how broke Saphire is after spending all of her money on PokeBalls. Also, ignore the time. It is incredibly inaccurate, as I kept loading my last save state every time I failed to catch a Metagross. Really, that time should probably say I’ve been playing for days.

Empty PokeBall pocket 😦

Alright, so, while grinding JIP to a higher level, I learn quickly I’m going to have to get him experience points by playing the ole’ switcharoo game, as he faints fast in battles and his Bide fails more often than not. When it succeeds, it never does enough damage on the wilds. I send Saphire to the PokeCenter dozens of times before I am satisfied with JIP’s level.

This happens and I curse under my breath that I have no PokeBalls.

Awww, look who’s growing up already!

NVCKE gets to Level 16 and evolves into Ivysaur.

I stop JIP’s grinding once he hits level 11 because I’m itching for some badges.

We head to the Gym for our first attempt at Roxanne. We take out the first trainer (who had a Xatu) pretty quick, then Saphire gets into a double battle with these two goons.

Looks like JIP and NVCKE are up against Wooper and Zangoose for their first double battle together.

Rock-type gym, my ass.

JIP may not be great on his own, but his Spore is ridiculously useful in doubles. He’ll make one Pokemon sleep while NVCKE uses her offense to take it out.

I’d like to think JIP is best friends with NVCKE. As soon as a threat to her type shows up, he’ll spore it before we have a chance to learn if it has a fire move or not.

Level-up stats for JIP!

Ludicolo gets sent out once we destroy Zangoose, and he is hardly a threat. We knock out these trainers easy-peasy.

They pay us, we head back to the Center for a quick heal, then charge right up to Roxanne.

Let’s see if she lives up to her Rock-type reputation.

First up is Nosepass, and she is the same level as JIP. JIP uses Spore to send her dreaming, and I take the opportunity to switch to someone else. I simply don’t have enough confidence in JIP to stand on his own yet. He hasn’t learned any new moves, and Bide only works to a certain extent.

I sent Meadow out and Nosepass wakes up immediately. Luckily, Meadow’s fists of fury one-shot the enemy and we anticipate the next victim.

I feel like I have truly never seen this thing in my life. What the hell is a Masquerain?? Bug??

She is an easy target to seduce.

Even though she is love-stricken, it doesn’t stop her completely from trying to annihilate us. Meadow holds his ground and takes a few turns to Covet her until she can fight no more.

Hooray, level up!

We’re feeling pretty good about winning on the first try against Roxanne when THIS ASSHOLE comes out. He poisons Meadow, so Meadow uses Ingrain while I ruffle through my bag to find a berry. The second the poison is gone, Volbeat uses ICE PUNCH and FREEZES Meadow completely. I have nothing to unfreeze him. I beg for him to defrost in one turn… but that doesn’t happen. Meadow goes down with another Ice Punch.

Next, I send out NVCKE and use Bullet Seed LIKE AN IDIOT, and Volbeat laughs at me and Ice Punches my Ivysaur straight into the red. He gets frozen, then by a Poke-miracle, defrosts the next turn. It doesn’t matter, for Volbeat lands another punch and NVCKE faints.

Tiger gives me a look like “why didn’t you just send me out in the first place” because, hur-de-dur, he knows Drill Peck, and it’s super effective. One hit and Volbeat is defeated. Finally.

Hooray, we get our first badge!

Roxanne gives us the TM for Rock Tomb, which is immediately taught to JIP in place of Mean Look. Happy that he now has two different offensive moves, I leave the gym with the intent of training him a little more.

Oh wait…

That’s right, Aqua is here to cause some trouble.

This grunt runs off with the Devon Researcher not far behind him screaming about some goods.

We ignore him and go CUT some trees instead.

We try to sneak past him so we can get to the trees in this area without him noticing, but he yells out for help anyway and Saphire gets roped back into fighting for this weenie.

We fight a couple battles, gain a couple levels, and JIP proves again to be an excellent doubles partner.

Saphire follows the grunt into a tunnel where we see he has stolen some poor old man’s Pokemon. We don’t take kindly to those who abuse the elderly… or by those who steal their Pokemon!

Saphire stands RIGHT in front of Peeko and gets into a battle with a wild Pokemon.

Okay, well at least we’ll get a taste of what kind of Pokemon dwell here—

MOLTRES?!?!?!?!?

We run from the legendary, fight the grunt (who had a Flygon), and rescue Peeko. The old man introduces himself as Mr. Briney and tells us where he lives in case we ever need a favor. He leaves, and we get the heck out of there quickly so as not to disturb any other potential legendaries hiding out here.

The Devon guy is happy we got his goods back, then shows us off to his boss. The two of them give us some items and send us on some errands that we have no choice but to accept.

Then, I realize I haven’t slept yet, and decide this is a good stopping point for now.

Okay, friends, we’ve now added JIP to our team. What should we call him?

And don’t forget, we still don’t have a name for NVCKE either. Any suggestion will do, I don’t care if you wanna call someone Tom Cruise or something. It is all up to you!

Click link below to tell Saphire what to do now —–vvvvv—–

Tell Saphire what to do next!

Click link above to tell Saphire what to do now —–^^^^^—–