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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill's 12:30 Report — Presented by Kidney Care Partners — Lawmakers scramble to pass border deal as deadline nears | Conservatives push Trump to use executive power | Trump blasts McCabe after bombshell interview | McCabe says DOJ talked 25th Amendment | New drama over Senate Russia probe | Anniversary of Parkland shooting | Clintons attend Dingell's DC funeral | Dating app discloses data breach on Valentine's Day | Parents say cartoon is making toddlers speak in British accent

LESS THAN 36 HOURS LEFT TO FUND THE GOVERNMENT

Lay it out for all to see:

Last night, lawmakers released a bill to fund the government and prevent another partial shutdown. http://bit.ly/2SSXRtt

When Congress will vote to keep the government open: The Senate will vote on the bill this afternoon. Then the House will take up the bill this evening. http://bit.ly/2SByiOn

Just now — a change to the House schedule: "NO votes expected in the House on Friday so long as Senate & House pass border deal/funding package tonight, according to lawmakers & aides in both parties. Trump expected to sign it before midnight Saturday to avert shutdown." (Via The Hill’s Scott Wong) http://bit.ly/2GIRAtQ

What the bill includes: $1.375 billion in funding for physical barriers along the border. Keep in mind: Trump has demanded $5.7 billion in border wall funding.

Is Trump expected to agree to the deal?: So far, yes. But Trump did say he is "not happy" with the deal, so stay tuned. https://cnn.it/2DC9njf

Exclusive — tidbit about some unhappy conservatives: A group of conservative House members sent a letter this morning urging President Trump Donald John TrumpOmar fires back at Trump over rally remarks: 'This is my country' Pelosi: Trump hurrying to fill SCOTUS seat so he can repeal ObamaCare Trump mocks Biden appearance, mask use ahead of first debate MORE to declare a national emergency to secure the necessary funds for a border wall. Details via The Hill's Juliegrace Brufke: http://bit.ly/2GFCK7q

To ruffle some feathers: "To try to slow things down, the far-right House Freedom Caucus rolled out a one-week stopgap funding bill, or continuing resolution (CR), to buy lawmakers more time to read the bill — an effort that will be ignored by Democrats who control the floor." http://bit.ly/2SByiOn

Mood at the Capitol yesterday: "Border deal negotiators Henry Cuellar (D) & Chuck Fleischmann (R) were just hugging and laughing while they joked w/ reporters…" (Via Politico's Melanie Zanona) http://bit.ly/2DH56LD

Read the full text of the bill, if you're into that kinda thing: http://bit.ly/2WZ8R81

Happy Valentine's Day to all my 12:30 valentines! I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and chocolate to cmartel@thehill.com — and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook .

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TALK OF THE MORNING

Not exactly the valentine Trump was hoping for…:

Former acting FBI Director Andrew McCabe Andrew George McCabeGraham: Comey to testify about FBI's Russia probe, Mueller declined invitation Barr criticizes DOJ in speech declaring all agency power 'is invested in the attorney general' GOP votes to authorize subpoenas, depositions in Obama-era probe MORE gave his first interview since being fired to CBS's "60 Minutes," where he described the Russia investigation. https://cbsn.ws/2GrDmOy

Watch the excerpt: https://cbsn.ws/2GrDmOy

The most newsy part of the interview — behind the scenes after FBI Director James Comey James Brien ComeyDemocrats fear Russia interference could spoil bid to retake Senate Book: FBI sex crimes investigator helped trigger October 2016 public probe of Clinton emails Trump jabs at FBI director over testimony on Russia, antifa MORE was fired: CBS's Scott Pelley previewed the interview with this tidbit: "There were meetings at the Justice Department at which it was discussed whether the vice president and a majority of the Cabinet could be brought together to remove the president of the United States under the 25th Amendment," Pelley said. "These were the eight days from Comey's firing to the point that Robert Mueller Robert (Bob) MuellerCNN's Toobin warns McCabe is in 'perilous condition' with emboldened Trump CNN anchor rips Trump over Stone while evoking Clinton-Lynch tarmac meeting The Hill's 12:30 Report: New Hampshire fallout MORE was appointed special counsel. And the highest levels of American law enforcement were trying to figure out what do with the president."

^ Yes, the 25th amendment: That amendment allows the president to be removed from office. What to know about the amendment: http://bit.ly/2I8XtTs

And on wearing a wire in meetings with Trump: "Pelley said McCabe confirms in their interview that Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein Rod RosensteinDOJ kept investigators from completing probe of Trump ties to Russia: report Five takeaways from final Senate Intel Russia report FBI officials hid copies of Russia probe documents fearing Trump interference: book MORE offered to wear a wire in meetings with President Trump. Previously, a Justice Department statement claimed that Rosenstein made the offer sarcastically, but McCabe said it was taken seriously."

When the interview will air: Sunday at 7 p.m. EST

Late this morning — President Trump has THOUGHTS:

President Trump reacted to the "60 Minutes" interview, mocking former acting FBI Director Andrew McCabe. http://bit.ly/2S2ZHDD

Trump tweeted: "Disgraced FBI Acting Director Andrew McCabe pretends to be a 'poor little Angel' when in fact he was a big part of the Crooked Hillary Scandal & the Russia Hoax — a puppet for Leakin' James Comey. I.G. report on McCabe was devastating. Part of 'insurance policy' in case I won. Many of the top FBI brass were fired, forced to leave, or left. McCabe's wife received BIG DOLLARS from Clinton people for her campaign — he gave Hillary a pass. McCabe is a disgrace to the FBI and a disgrace to our Country. MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!" http://bit.ly/2WZnGr0

REACTION FROM 'FOX & FRIENDS' HOST BRIAN KILMEADE: "Are they trying to overthrow the government? Was this a coup?" Fox's Brian Kilmeade asked Rep. Devin Nunes Devin Gerald NunesSunday shows preview: Justice Ginsburg dies, sparking partisan battle over vacancy before election Sunday shows preview: With less than two months to go, race for the White House heats up Sunday shows preview: Republicans gear up for national convention, USPS debate continues in Washington MORE (R-Calif.), the former chairman of the House Intelligence Committee. Nunes did not answer the question directly. Watch the back and forth: http://bit.ly/2IcDrHH

NEWS THIS MORNING

Breaking — Amazon changes its mind on New York:

Amazon just announced that it will no longer open a second headquarters in New York City. What we know: http://bit.ly/2DCkc50

Why: Aggressive opposition from local lawmakers and activists. Reasoning: Critics said it would displace poor residents and increase rents.

Is there an alternative?: No, Amazon said it will not search for another location.

What about the new D.C.-area headquarters?: Amazon will still open its new headquarters in the outskirts of Washington, D.C. https://wapo.st/2EabwE8

Exclusive — Come one, come all to the greatest show on earth:

Via The Hill’s Amie Parnes, former Vice President Joe Biden Joe BidenOmar fires back at Trump over rally remarks: 'This is my country' Trump mocks Biden appearance, mask use ahead of first debate Trump attacks Omar for criticizing US: 'How did you do where you came from?' MORE is almost certain to enter the 2020 race for the Democratic presidential nomination. From a source: “It’s pretty clear he’s jumping in,” said one source with direct knowledge of the would-be campaign’s moves, adding that Biden is “95 percent there.” What we know: http://bit.ly/2GIVUt4

A dating app hack on Valentine's Day — this sounds like a PR student's final exam prompt:

The popular dating app Coffee Meets Bagel announced this morning that the platform had a data breach. http://bit.ly/2Gp26al

What data was breached?: Names and email addresses, not financial information.

Read the announcement to users: http://bit.ly/2TOuNkb

LATEST WITH THE RUSSIA INVESTIGATION

Judge rules Manafort's pants are on fire:

A federal judge ruled that President Trump's former campaign chairman Paul Manafort Paul John ManafortOur Constitution is under attack by Attorney General William Barr Bannon trial date set in alleged border wall scam Conspicuous by their absence from the Republican Convention MORE intentionally lied multiple times to the FBI and to special counsel Robert Mueller during his cooperation. http://bit.ly/2Gqwzoq

From Manafort's attorneys: "Mr. Manafort did not lie. Despite the considerable efforts of the Office of Special Counsel … it cannot prove what did not happen."

When Manafort will be sentenced: March 13 in Washington, D.C.

HOW DRAMA IS BUILDING IN THE SENATE INTELLIGENCE COMMITTEE'S RUSSIA INVESTIGATION: "The Senate probe is viewed as the most bipartisan congressional investigation into Russian interference, with committee Chairman Richard Burr Richard Mauze BurrRep. Mark Walker says he's been contacted about Liberty University vacancy Overnight Defense: Trump rejects major cut to military health care | Senate report says Trump campaign's Russia contacts posed 'grave' threat Senate report describes closer ties between 2016 Trump campaign, Russia MORE (R-N.C.) and Vice Chairman Mark Warner Mark Robert WarnerIntelligence chief says Congress will get some in-person election security briefings Overnight Defense: Trump hosts Israel, UAE, Bahrain for historic signing l Air Force reveals it secretly built and flew new fighter jet l Coronavirus creates delay in Pentagon research for alternative to 'forever chemicals' House approves bill to secure internet-connected federal devices against cyber threats MORE (D-Va.) walking in lockstep on most matters. However, fractures have emerged recently after Burr publicly stated that none of their evidence indicates the Trump campaign conspired with Russia during the 2016 presidential campaign." http://bit.ly/2GGxTmx

New poll on the Robert Mueller probe — carry on:

According to a new Navigator poll, a majority of Americans back special counsel Robert Mueller's investigation and believe the probe has "uncovered crimes." Details: http://bit.ly/2GJwuvC

The poll numbers: Fifty-six percent of Americans back the probe. For context: In the same poll in June 2018, only 43 percent of respondents backed the probe.

ONE YEAR AGO TODAY

The shooting in Parkland, Fla.:

Last Valentine's Day, 17 people were killed and 17 were wounded when a gunman opened fire at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Fla.

HOW THE COMMUNITY IS DOING A YEAR LATER: Via The New York Times, here are short interviews with nine members of the Stoneman Douglas community: https://nyti.ms/2UZROk3

HOW DEMOCRATS ARE ESCALATING THE GUN DEBATE A YEAR LATER: "Democrats have a long wish list of gun reform proposals they'd like to see adopted. They're starting with universal background checks, since the idea enjoys broad public backing. The proposal is a key priority of March for Our Lives, the national advocacy group Parkland students formed to address gun violence after the shooting." Details and what to expect on these proposals: http://bit.ly/2to9LNv

TRIBUTES FROM PARENTS WHO LOST CHILDREN THAT DAY: Here are tweets and photos from parents whose children were murdered: http://bit.ly/2S30c0h

A MESSAGE FROM TRUMP: "One year ago today, a horrific act of violence took the lives of 14 students and 3 educators in Parkland, Florida. On this somber anniversary, we honor their memory and recommit to ensuring the safety of all Americans, especially our Nation's children." Read the full statement: http://bit.ly/2BBqQIe

FROM FORMER PRESIDENT OBAMA: Obama tweeted this morning, "In the year since their friends were killed, the students of Parkland refused to settle for the way things are and marched, organized, and pushed for the way things should be — helping pass meaningful new gun violence laws in states across the country. I'm proud of all of them." http://bit.ly/2DIrnbB

NOTABLE TWEETS

Thanks for this, senator…:

Welcome to Congress:

CNN's Manu Raju then added: "Asked about her tweet this AM attacking Trump for trafficking in hate, she angrily said: 'Yes I tweeted, and there's a response. You can run that. Have a nice day.' And she walked into a meeting." http://bit.ly/2Invxey

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ON TAP

The House and Senate are in. President Trump is in Washington, D.C. Vice President Pence is in Warsaw, Poland.

9:50 a.m. EST: Vice President Pence participated in a wreath laying ceremony at the Warsaw Uprising Monument.

11:45 a.m. EST: President Trump held a conference call with anti-abortion activists.

2:45 p.m. EST: President Trump meets with Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen.

6:30 p.m. EST: First votes in the House.

WHAT TO WATCH

This morning A funeral service for former Rep. John Dingell John DingellRaces heat up for House leadership posts Democrats flubbed opportunity to capitalize on postal delays COVID-19 bill limiting liability would strike the wrong balance MORE (D-Mich.). Participating: Former President Clinton, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton Hillary Diane Rodham ClintonButtigieg stands in as Pence for Harris's debate practice Senate GOP sees early Supreme Court vote as political booster shot Poll: 51 percent of voters want to abolish the electoral college MORE and Rep. John Lewis John LewisDemocrats urge Biden to resist filibuster, court-packing calls Rep. Bill Pascrell named chair of House oversight panel The Hill's Campaign Report: Biden goes on offense MORE (D-Ga.). Livestream: https://cs.pn/2GrCyt0

10 p.m. EST Monday: A CNN town hall with presidential candidate Sen. Amy Klobuchar Amy KlobucharSocial media platforms put muscle into National Voter Registration Day Battle lines drawn on precedent in Supreme Court fight Sunday shows - Ruth Bader Ginsburg's death dominates MORE (D-Minn.). Details: http://bit.ly/2DOCaBt

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Cream-Filled Chocolates Day. I sincerely appreciate when these holidays are timely.

Hahahaha

*pause to catch my breath*

Ahh hahahaha:

American toddlers are starting to speak in a British accent because of the popular children's TV show "Peppa Pig." https://fxn.ws/2SRVuHe

Omg: "Up until the age of 20 months, my daughter was a pristine developmental specimen, untouched by screen-time. Then we flew to Australia. After 21 hours of flight time spent binge-watching Peppa Pig episodes on the iPad, my kid had adopted Peppa Pig's plum British accent, calling me 'Mummy' and finishing her sentences with Peppa's trademark snort ... call it the Peppa effect." http://bit.ly/2WXWyZq

One child now regularly uses the word "straightaway": "Daddy, when we get home do I have to go to bed straightaway?"

My abs hurt from laughing: "The most entertaining aspect of my life right now is that my toddler has been watching Peppa Pig and now speaks with a British accent." http://bit.ly/2DvMqy0

If anyone has video evidence of the Peppa effect, please, please send it to me.