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Is it really true that you can't buy sex toys in Alabama? It sure is! The law has its own Wikipedia page and everything. It's called the Anti-Obscenity Enforcement Act, and it absolutely legislates what men and women can and cannot put in their various sex spots. It was originally intended only as a measure to prevent nude dancing, meaning fuck it still, but it has since expanded to include the purchase of any and all sex toys.

There is one allowance, though, in that Alabama understands that, sometimes, you're just going to have to show someone a dick to further their education. For those people, a clause exists that allows the sale of certain items for educational or medical purposes. So, let's say you're a high school sex ed teacher in Alabama and ... just joking, you know Alabama doesn't have sex ed anymore. I'm sure it's been replaced with Bible study or advanced sandwich artistry by now.

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Having to carry the work home with you is the hardest part of any teacher's job.

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Still, they do allow that, so at least it's not a completely unreasonable law, right? You know I wouldn't ask that question if it was. See, even with the educational/medical exemption, you still have to fill out a questionnaire that covers all facets of your sexual history and inclinations. Does a medical reason for a dildo exist? I'm sure one does, and if that's the case, at some point in history, some low-level hospital employee has no doubt been tasked with purchasing one somewhere and in the process had to admit that they sometimes like it in the butt.