We’ve all been there; the perennial problem of what to do about the Kung Fu Pig?

Typical Problems We’ve All Encountered

The PCs have polymorphed the ‘Big Bad’ (a monk) into a pig; and/or the old chestnut of the Were-Boar in Oriental Adventures; and/or Miss Piggy in Toon. Combat is imminent, but what to do about your swinish martial artist?

Solution:

Fear not, your faithful servant offers the following fight mechanic for your consideration:

Step 1: Locate your “Pass the Pig” novelty dice (yes, the porcine shaped ones):

Step 2: Briefly reminisce about playing ‘Pass the Pig’ as a kid, but move on.

Step 3: Each combat round, cast the pigs onto the table with grime-faced aplomb, and use these to determine Piggy’s actions (see below)

In essence, one pig-die represents the onkier’s defensive strategy (or lack of it), and the other pig-die the porker’s offensive strategy (or again the lack of it)

Roll Outcomes :

Combos :

Simply sum the results of the two pig rolls. Except , for double offensive moves, then (a) multiply the To Hit modifiers; and (b) add the damage (DA) modifiers.

Cheat Sheet

Below is a cheat sheet to save everyone (except me) some time:

The first number is the ‘To Hit’ modifier for both the pig and its opponent. The number in parenthesises is the damage (DA) modifier for the pig and its opponent. The pink zone (bottom right 3 x 3 grid) is the double offensive zone.

Further reading

For those that care about porky probability, please see: https://pubsonline.informs.org/doi/pdf/10.1287/ited.1120.0088

– – – Me on DriveThruDriveThru; at the moment I’m mainly pimping my procedural High Seas ‘Hex Crawl’ – In the Heart of the Sea.