Photo by niklas_hamann on Unsplash

I was in Porto in Portugal on a night out with friends when I saw him. He had a slight rocker style from the 90s but worked on him. He made a beeline to me through the crowd with an intensive look in his face. I said the first thing that came into my head “You look like Jared Leto.”

When I think back to our first conversation, it was full of ‘negs’. Negs are backhanded compliments to undermine you. An example of a ‘neg’ is this: I wish you were brunette. I’m taking a break from blondes for a while.

We played verbal chess, and he left.

When he reappeared, he befriended our group. He suggested a cool bar, and we were happy to be led to sites by a local guide. The night developed, and the drinks continued to flow. I found myself alone with Bruno. We kissed, and one thing led to another, and I found myself back at his.

I stayed the night, and he walked me to my apartment the next morning. On my last day, he took me out for lunch. His behaviour wavered between eccentric and charming. I kind of like quirky people, so I went along with it. I also liked the idea of having a semi-love story to add to my review of Porto for when I got back to London.

We kept in touch. I found Bruno’s erratic messaging amusing; he would be friendly and then disappear. One day, he suggested that he would like to show me some places in Portugal in the North and would be happy to pay. I didn’t know him very well, but it seemed romantic.

Photo by Bryan Trogdon on Unsplash

Whenever I asked about an itinerary or what we would be doing, he responded that he hadn’t yet thought about it. A few days before the trip, he sent me a document where he had carefully crafted our itinerary. Each drop pin on the map showed accommodation, restaurants and activities. He had put a lot of thought to our three day trip for someone that had pretended not to care.

I arrived in Porto, and our first day we went to Braga. The red flags started to show. He would make a point of not doing everything I asked but with no real reason. For example, at times, he wouldn’t take my picture. As it was the beginning of our trip, I let it slide.

Everything he planned was excellent. After Braga, we went to Gerês national park. In the morning, he would tell me the itinerary for that day. It felt like a little adventure. Bruno had researched hikes and had even booked canyoning after I had mentioned that I had enjoyed my canyoning trip in Vietnam. Bruno was often videoing parts of our journey. He spoke only in Portuguese and sometimes got me to wave to the camera. I don’t know why I did it at the moment. I complied without thinking.

Another red flag was that he didn’t like it when I went out of his eyesight. He said it was due to concern, but I believe it was due to him being controlling. I saw it irritated him so I did it when I could. I’m happy I did this, but why could I have not been more vocal that this was not cool?