Last night’s Top Ten list was “Things Abraham Lincoln Would Say If He Were Alive Today” (“Late Show,” CBS, 2/16).

10) “Sup?”

9) “See, Madonna’s still a slut.”

8 ) “Who’s that handsome sumbitch on the five?”

7) “Is that free grand slam deal still going on at Denny’s?”

6) “I just changed my Facebook status update to, ‘the ‘ol rail splitter is chillaxing.’”

5) “How do I get on ‘Dancing with the Star?’”

4) “Okay, Obama, you’re from Illinois, too. We get it!”

3) “Hey Phelps, don’t bogart the weed!”

2) “What’s the deal with Joaquin Phoenix?”

1) “A Broadway play? Uh, no thanks. I’m good.”