Kanye West is the Best

Mr. West’s VMA Speech and the Glorious Triumph of Happiness

I hate the new Kanye, the bad mood Kanye

The always rude Kanye, spaz in the news Kanye

I miss the sweet Kanye, chop up the beats Kanye

I gotta to say, at that time I’d like to meet Kanye

Award Show Kanye was back this week and there are few things in life more enjoyable to experience than the live mic rollerdrama of Kim’s husband when he’s got something to say. And while some people at ZeroSixOneNine may disagree, those people are very, very wrong.

Disclaimer: I love Kanye. All of hims. Producer Kanye. College Dropout, Late Registration, & Graduation Kanye.

808s, Twisted Fantasy, and Yeezus Kanye. G.O.O.D FRIDAYS Kanye. Throne Watching Kanye. Pablo Life of Kanye.

I love Taylor Kanye. Yeezy Boosts Kanye. George Bush Doesn’t Care About Black People Mike Myers Chris Tucker OH SHIT Kanye.

Kimye Kanye. Proud Papa Kanye. Lupe Chance Chicago Forever Kanye.

But Happy Kanye?

Happy Kanye is the best Kanye. And so let’s give the speech the Gettysburg treatment it deserves with a line-by-line breakdown of every glorious word.

I am Kanye West, and that feels especially great to say this year.

I came here to present my new video, but before I do that, Imma talk. Now, later tonight, ‘Famous’ might lose to Beyoncé, but I can’t be mad. I’m always wishing for Beyoncé to win, so.

So many footnotes required. “Imma talk?!?” Well “Imma let you finish” then. Quick sidenote — he walked out on stage for this speech with the Tay Tay line from famous blaring through the arena speakers. Tough year for the #squadqueen. Snapchat Victory Smiling Kanye.

But for people to understand just how blessed we are…

Kanye contains multitudes of Kanye. The audience is his audience. Prom King Kanye Talking To His VMA Court Kanye.

But more. Quantum Leap Kanye. He jumps Future Kanye and suddenly he is talking about Wax Figure FAMOUS Kanye.

It was an expression of our now, our fame right now, us on the inside of the TV.

HD Kanye vision. Live. DVRs ain’t even up on this Kanye.

But just when you thought Happy Kanye could expand forever and time and space and light and love could reinvent us all —he collapses upon his star. Going from we to I to us to Ray J.

You know, just to put… the audacity to put Anna Wintour right next to Donald Trump. I mean, like, I put Ray J in it, bro. This is fame, bro!

For a minute, you think this is Ego Kanye. This is Look At Me, I’m A Genius Kanye. But then, that smile. For real, bro. The Ray J part is actually kinda crazy?!? Right, Kanye?!? Are you trying to piss off Kim, Kanye? Or is this True Love Trumps All Kanye?!?

Like, I see you Amber.

High School Reunion Kanye. Gonna Get His Happy Ass Kicked By Kim When He Gets Home Kanye.

My wife is a G. Not a lot of peoples’ wives would let them say that right there.

Whoa, maybe not though, Kanye?!? Cause look at Kim all gorgeous and happy and smitten and joyous, Kanye.

So this is Ye Button On Wife Mode Kanye. Amber Rose & Ray J SFX Kanye. My Wife ACTIVELY APPROVED EVERYTHING I AM SAYING Kanye. Premeditated Kanye. Permission Slip Kanye. Like, They Talked & It’s Cool & IN LOVE Kanye.

We came over in the same boat. Now we all in the same bed.

Drowning In Metaphors Kanye.

Well, maybe different boats, but uh.

Lol. Katrina Kanye. Black Lives Matter Kanye. We’re All Dressed Fancy & Sipping Champagne But Don’t Forget The Slave Ships Kanye.

But if you think about last week, there were 22 people murdered in Chicago. You know, like, people come up to me like, ‘Yeah, that’s right! Take Taylor!’ But bro, like, I love all y’all. That’s why I called her.

This. Year. Broken-hearted Chicago Kanye. Champion Kanye. Troll Kanye. You All Thought I Was Lying, Bad Guy Kanye.

That’s why he called her! It’s He Loves Us All Kanye.

So I was speaking at the Art Institute last year, and a kid came up to me and said ‘Three of my friends died, and I don’t know if I’m gonna be the next.’ And it has to, you know you have to think, like, when you’re a senior and it’s the last month and you just don’t feel like doing any more work. If you feel like you seeing people dying right next to you, you might feel like, what’s the point? You know like life could be like, starting to feel worthless in a way.

Inspirational Kanye. Woke Kanye.

I know times for me, I sit down and talk to older, like, like, rich people. You know, a.k.a. white, you know.

Stand-up Comic Kanye.

And they tell me, ‘Don’t compare yourself to Steve Jobs. Don’t compare yourself to Walt Disney’

A.k.a “white.”

And my friend Zekiah told me… they tell me, ‘Don’t compare yourself to these people, right.’ My friend Zekiah told me there’s three keys to keeping people impoverished: that’s taking away their esteem, taking away their resources, and taking away their role models. My role models are artists, merchants. There’s less than ten that I can name in history. Truman. Ford. Hughes. Disney. Jobs. West.

Put Your Name On It Kanye. The visionaries and creatives and makers of art and stories and beauty and money are for ALL of us. Chicago Kanye and all the little Kanye Kanyes to come.

Bro. Bro! Tonight, we here to have fun. I’m standing in front of my idol, Puff Daddy. I’m standing in front of my wife, Kim Kardashian West. I’m standing in front of the future: Chance the Rapper, 2 Chainz, Jaden Smith. Bro, we are undeniably the influence, the thought leaders.

Uhm, Jaden Smith, Kanye? Gonna go ahead and forgive that one, Kanye. But we get the point, Kanye.

I’m gonna play y’all a piece of my art, and I just hope y’all have a good time. Play that.

Mic Drop Kanye. Music Making Kanye. Happy Good Life Triumphant Kanye.

Thanks for making award shows great again, Kanye.