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We are none of the hashtags you throw at us. We are normal people who are citizens of this country.

For one year, I have not engaged with trolls on Twitter. Especially those trolls who have a verified account.

But then T.V. Mohandas Pai, a verified account whose existence I had no idea about, popped up in my notifications. He had called me #URBANNAXAL. I have been called anti-national a million times, so much so that I have become de-sensitised to the word and often joke about it.

An #urbannaxal showing true colors; India needs azaadi from such leftist malcontents and #urbanNaxals who support violence, support killer maoists and incite hatred,bigotry and divide people; poisoned minds by extremist faculty https://t.co/RAATnN5ENZ — Mohandas Pai (@TVMohandasPai) October 2, 2018

But the tag of ‘urban naxal’ was a new one. It came on the wrong day. My one-year-old dog had just died three hours ago, after suffering a high fever and low platelet count. I was sobbing in the Amritsar-Delhi Shatabdi train and the blue highlighted hashtag in Pai’s tweet stared back at me from my phone.

Also read: ‘Urban Naxals’ is BJP’s sinister plot promoted by its Urban Idiots: Jignesh Mevani

I was neither enraged nor amused. I just stared at the screen numbly. Mr Pai, I am not an ‘urban naxal’. I am not any of the absurd and illogical tags that frustrated fanatics keep throwing at me every six months to demonise me. And, that’s just because I speak up against the current political climate and the government.

And what was the trigger for such labelling by Mr Pai? I had tweeted to express my solidarity with the students of Hidayatullah National Law University (HNLU), Raipur, as they fought day and night against their vice-chancellor who had been accused of maladministration and inaction over sexual harassment complaints.

The last few years in India have been the darkest we have seen in a long time but these are also years we saw some of the most powerful student voices emerge. The call for azaadi from oppressive regimes has never been louder. #HNLUkiAazaadi In solidarity ✊???? throw the VC out!! — Gurmehar Kaur (@mehartweets) September 30, 2018

The last two years have been marked by an intense spike in student agitations across India, a nation with a sizeable young population. But instead of paying attention to what these students demand, many choose to brand them ‘anti-nationals’, ‘urban naxals’, ‘sickulars’ and ‘tukde tukde gang’.

The voices of my fellow students across India have been a constant source of hope and support in these times that I find very dark. Yes, sure, many remind us that there were darker times in India’s past – the Emergency, the 1984 riots, corruption scandals. While I acknowledge these, in my eyes, and other 18-year-olds like me, these are dark times too. We are witnessing all kinds of injustices and regressive measures in our universities.

It would be so easy to disengage from all that is happening around us. We are constantly told that as students, our only job is to study and not be political. How do we disengage and detach ourselves from news of rapes, mob lynchings, and murders? How do we disengage from the fact that those in power either abet lynching with their rhetoric or garland the accused? People who support such kind of politics are calling us anti-nationals today.

These tags, however, don’t surprise me.

Also read: Urban Naxal is the new enemy & ‘Useful Idiot’ BJP needs for 2019

On a good day, I read out these tweets and messages to my friends and have a laugh. On bad days, I go on a never-ending rant about the current state of the nation. Then, there are days when I am running around trying to keep up with my attendance and marks, and I briefly skim through the tweet, dramatically roll my eyes, sigh and then block them. Sometimes, I do get hurt, but I focus on all those people who have undergone real suffering – lost their sons at the hands of cow vigilante groups or married outside their religion, or who are still searching for their missing son on the campus.

My friends say it’s important to speak up and put out a narrative that counters the trolls. Personally, I salute anyone who has the patience to do so. But for the sake of my own mental well-being and sanity, I stay away. I’m busy with campus placements and applications for a Master’s degree. Anything that isn’t focused on achieving those specific goals is an unnecessary distraction.

In the end, ‘urban naxal’ and ‘anti-national’ are just words, and at least I’m still alive.

We are none of the hashtags you throw at us. We are normal people who are citizens of this country.

Closing Mr Pai’s tweet, I decided to dwell on the loss of my dead dog instead.

The author is a writer and student activist.

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