Today the greatest minds at Sony assembled in their Japanese Head-Quarters with one thing on their mind: why exactly does the PS3 have printer functionality? The gathering of over 100 of Sony’s finest software engineers is unprecedented at the company, but the question of where the functionality came from and who put it in needs resolving.

“We just turned the PS3 on one day and it was there,” said Jeremy Ava, head of the division dedicated to stuff-the-PS3-does-for-some-reason, in an interview with Gamespot that I overheard. “We didn’t design it, nobody noticed it download and install, which is of course against company policy, but there it is. We don’t even know what it’s supposed to print; it just sits in the settings. One computer engineer tried to remove it from the settings menu but it just appeared again. It started off as kinda funny but now it’s getting creepy.”

The division dedicated to stuff-the-PS3-does-for-some-reason have been responsible for all manner of features the PS3 for some reason has, such as folding@home, Life with Playstation and Playstation Home, but the printer marks the first time the company didn’t intend to make the PS3 do something that really doesn’t make sense being on a console.

“We’ve been hard at work on our latest feature, having the PS3 act as a barometer, when we realised that the printer settings were occupying the memory we’d dedicated to the project. We don’t know what to do about, there’s literally tens of people waiting for this update!”