High Court Brexit decision to be written on the side of a bus

The High Court has taken the unusual step of writing its Brexit verdict on the side of a bus, in order to force Brexiters to accept it without a second thought.

The High Court had only resorted to putting their decision on a bus on one previous occasion, when in 2003 British Leyland successfully won an appeal about bus signage.

Leave voter Simon Williams said, “I was just on the verge of going schizo-bollock mental at this outrageous and ridiculous decision, but now I’ve seen it on the side of a bus, I’ve realised that I have to accept it as it must be true.

“I mean, if you can’t believe a bus, what can you believe? If I don’t believe the bus, surely there’s a danger I might appear a little hypocritical?

“All I wanted was our sovereignty back – but the fact that they have used one of the fundamental principles of sovereignty to, frankly, trick us into having to accept this completely constitutional and disgustingly legal decision is an absolute disgrace.

“Why can’t I just moan about things being undemocratic and unfair when it suits me? That’s all I want from this ridiculous country.

“I blame the immigrants. If those Romans, then those Vikings and then those bloody Normans hadn’t invaded and brought their own individual, nuanced legal systems here, we wouldn’t be in this bloody mess!”