Amanda Stanton’s exes might want to skip her new book, Now Accepting Roses: Finding Myself While Searching for the One … and Other Lessons I Learned from The Bachelor.

Stanton, 29, began the juicy memoir with details of her marriage to Nick Buonfiglio, which ended in 2015, but was seemingly over before they even tied the knot. The twosome share two daughters: Kinsley and Charlie.

After finalizing her divorce in 2015, Stanton was picked to compete for Ben Higgins’ heart on The Bachelor season 20.

“I mustered up the strength and courage to officially divorce Nick on paper and in life,” she wrote. “About six months later, I started to believe perhaps my ex was right. I could very well end up single and alone forever. It was during that moment of doubt when I got a call from the casting director for The Bachelor.”

During the audition process, Stanton wrote that she felt “blind.”

“In these rooms, producers gave us background tests and STD screenings, had us talk to a therapist, and so on — all within a very busy day of shuttling from room to room,” she explained. “I had so many questions that went unanswered.”

Stanton made an impression on both Higgins and fans, but she was sent home after the hometown dates. She didn’t give up on finding love on reality TV, however. Her next venture was on Bachelor in Paradise season 3, where she met her future ex-fiancé Josh Murray. While their relationship was rocky on the show, the former athlete’s allegedly controlling behavior, which he has denied in the past, was even more tumultuous when they returned home from Mexico.

“I was together with him for six months (seems like six years), let him get close to my children, moved him into my house, made him part of my family — and I never really knew who he was,” Stanton admitted.

The clothing designer also didn’t hold back on her relationships and subsequent breakups with Nick Viall, Robby Hayes and Bobby Jacobs in Now Accepting Roses, which is available now.

Scroll through for 10 shocking revelations from the book: