Solving My Racist Sexist Homophobic Dipshit Problem

As has been detailed recently, there’s a Racist Sexist Homophobic Dipshit out there on the InterWeebs who likes to use my name to whip up his gibbering followers, who then often come over here to troll the comments. Whether I ignore him or not doesn’t matter, so fine. I might as well get something productive out of it.

Here’s what I’m going to do: From now until the end of 2013 (and backdating to January 1st) when the Racist Sexist Homophobic Dipshit in question posts an entry on his site in which he uses my name (or one of his adorable nicknames for me), I’m going to put $5 into a pot. At the end of the year, I’m going to tally it up. All the money, up to $1,000, will be donated equally to the following organizations:

*RAINN

*Emily’s List

*Human Rights Campaign

*NAACP

Now, what this means is that, since I don’t want to have to read the Racist Sexist Homophobic Dipshit’s site, I’ll need someone to monitor the dude’s site, and keep a spreadsheet for me. So I’m calling for volunteers. I will compensate you with signed first editions of The Human Division and The Mallet of Loving Correction when they come out, plus I’ll donate $250 in your name to go into the pot (on top of the up to $1,000 I will donate) to be disbursed to the organizations above. Email me with your interest.

As noted above, I’m backdating this to the first of the year, so the Racist Sexist Homophobic Dipshit in question has already caused money to go to each of these organizations. Well done him! I am sure he’s delighted to be helping to advance the causes of equality for women, gays and people of color, as well as funding an organization dedicated to helping those victimized by sexual assault. And each time he posts an entry that invokes me, one way or another, that’s another fiver into the pot. That’s 200 opportunities this year for him to prompt a contribution! I hope he takes advantage of all of them.

For my part, however, this is the last time I plan to note his existence here, at least until the end of the year, when I tally up the pot and send off the donations. Tune in then to see show much I get to give! I’m looking forward to sending those contributions along.

Update: People are asking if they can contribute too. Sure. Here’s how we’ll do this: Note in the comment thread here that you want to play along (or send me an e-mail if you’d prefer to be private) and then note the maximum amount you want to contribute for the year. Commit to donating 5% (i.e., even if the Racist Sexist Homophobic Dipshit never mentioned me again, you’ll donate 5% of your maximum donation to at least one of the organizations listed above, or ones that serve the same folks — women, GLBT, people of color, those who have been sexually assaulted). At the end of the year, when I tally up, you donate. Easy!

Update 2: As of 5pm Eastern, we’ve had pledges that could total up to $12,000. That’s awesome, folks. Thank you!

Update 3: Amazed at the number of people willing to volunteer to watch the RSHD’s site and/or create a program that watches it. Thanks, folks. I’ll pick someone over the next couple of days.

Update 4: As of 8pm Eastern, we’ve had pledges for up to $20,000. Holy crap!

Update 5: As of 11:45pm Eastern, the pledges total more than $26,000. A fine sum to end the day on. Thanks, folks!

Update 6: As of noon Eastern on Sunday, February 3, we’re up to over $30,000 in pledges in the comment thread. This is more fun than the Super Bowl.

Update 7: It’s 6:36pm on Sunday, and we just hit $40,000 in pledges. Fantastic.

Update 8: Monday, February 4, and at 10:30am we’re at $44,605 in pledges. Sweet!

Update 9: 7:20pm on Monday and we just hit $50,000 in pledges. Fifty thousand dollars. Honestly, I don’t know what to say at this point other than thank you. Oh, and that I have something special planned to celebrate, it’s being worked on now. As soon as it’s done, I’ll put it up!

Update 10: To celebrate reaching the $50k milestone, I commissioned a gift to everyone who has pledged.

Update 11: It’s Friday, February 8, and we’re up over $60,000. Where do we go from here? I’ll tell you.