She calls it her “firewall.”

At home, Alice can live as the woman she knows she is. But at work, she has to use her “boy name” — the one on her birth certificate. There’s a co-worker that has joked about using “fags and trannies” as target practice. The day she goes to work as Alice would probably be the day she quits, or gets fired.

At 60, Alice has been forced to make the choice between living an authentic life and living her retirement in poverty. Her firewall is more than a matter of principle — it’s a matter of survival. In Missouri, where she lives, Alice could still be fired for being transgender. That’s why there’s a firewall between home and work, and why she asked to be referred to only as Alice. Her firewall is her double life.

“The problem is, most of us who are older are looking at life after work,” she said. “And we realize that it could well be lived in poverty. We can be true to ourselves, but at what price?”

In the end, living an authentic life is a financial risk for transgender individuals. A 2013 study found that transgender workers report unemployment rates two times higher than the population as a whole, and are generally underemployed, more likely to have lower income and more likely to be in an unstable housing situation.

But there’s always retirement, right? Not always.

As more and more transgender individuals get older, the unique challenges they face are becoming apparent. Shortfalls in health care could mean the difference between life and death for some. Discrimination in retirement communities or assisted-living facilities could tarnish the golden years, and a later-in-life transition could leave some ostracized from the families they’ve loved their whole lives.

For a transgender baby boomer such as Alice, retirement could offer a relief from the workplace discrimination and the double life many have begrudgingly become used to in order to put food on the table. Alice will finally be able to be Alice all the time. It’s the beginning of a new chapter, but a happy ending is still uncertain.

“What it comes down to in terms of older trans people, our biggest problem is finding health care,” she said. “That’s one of the crosses we have to bear.”

She’s had a host of health issues over the past year, but knows of only two physicians in her area who see patients for trans-specific health concerns and offer an open and accepting practice. In the past, she and other people she knows have been turned away from clinics or met with hostility from doctors who refused service based on religious views or other grounds.