Every Chu down in Chu-ville liked bicycles a lot

But the Grinch who lived just South of Chu-ville did not!

The Grinch hated Cycle Tracks! The whole cycling season!

Now, please don’t ask why. No one quite knows the reason.

It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.

It could be his head wasn’t screwed on just right.

But I think that the most likely reason of all

May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.

But, whatever the reason, his heart or his shoes,

He stood on the eve before Council, hating the Chus,

Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown

At the warm lighted windows below in their town,

For he knew every Chu up in Chu-ville above

Were busy now wrapping their cycletrack love.

“And they’re writing their letters,” he snarled with a sneer.

“Tomorrow’s the meeting! It’s practically here!”

Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,

“I must find some way to keep Cycle Tracks from coming!

For, tomorrow, I know all the Chu girls and boys

Will wake bright and early. They’ll go ride for joy!

And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the noise! Noise! Noise! Noise!

There’s one thing I hate! All the NOISE! NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!

Then the Chus, young and old, will sit down to a feast.

And they’ll feast! And they’ll feast! And they’ll FEAST! FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!

They’ll feast on Ship Nog, and rare Chu roast beast,

RAWWW roast beast is a feast I can’t stand in the least!

And then they’ll do something I hate most of all!

Every Chu down in Chu-ville, the tall and the small,

They’ll ride all together, with bicycle bells ringing.

Ride all together, and those Chus will start singing!”

“And they’ll sing! And they’ll sing! And they’ll SING! SING! SING! SING!”

And the more the Grinch thought of the Cycle Track singing,

The more the Grinch thought, “I must stop this whole thing!

Why for fifty-three years I’ve put up with it now!

I must stop Cycle Tracks from coming! But how?”

Then he got an idea! An awful idea!

The Grinch got a wonderful, awful idea!

“I know just what to do!” The Grinch laughed in his throat.

“I’ll make a road engineer hat and a coat.”

And he chuckled, and clucked, “What grinchy payback!

With this coat, I’ll look just like GM of Transport, Mac!”

You’re a mean one, Mr. Grinch. You really are a heel.

You’re as cuddly as a cactus. You’re as charming as an eel.

Mr. Grinch! You’re a bad banana with a greasy black peel!



You’re a monster, Mr. Grinch. Your heart’s an empty hole.

Your brain is full of spiders. You’ve got garlic in your soul.

Mr. Grinch! I wouldn’t touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!

“I need some bad data” The Grinch looked around.

But with bike counters maxed out, there were none to be found.

Did that stop the Grinch? Hah! The Grinch simply said,

“If I can’t find data I want, I’ll make it all up instead!”

So he drove his big car, and brought out his clipboard

And he declared “There are no bicycles on this road!”

Then he loaded some bags and some old empty sacks

In his car he leapt, while he whistled for his dog Max.

Then the Grinch said “Giddyap!” and the car started downtown

Toward city hall where the Chus snoozed in their town.

All their windows were dark. No one knew he was there.

When he came to city hall in front of the square.

“This is stop number one,” the old Grinchineer hissed,

As he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.

Then he slid down the chimney, a rather tight pinch.

But if an engineer could do it, then so could the Grinch.

He got stuck only once, for a minute or two.

Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue

Where the Cycle Track plans hung all in a row.

“These drawings,” he grinched, “are the first things to go!”

Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,

Around the whole room, and he took every letter!

And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,

Stuffed all the bags, one by one, straight up the chimney.

Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Chus’ feast!

He took the Ship Nog! He took the roast beast!

He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.

Why, that Grinch even took the last can of Chu hash!

Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.

“Now,” grinned the Grinch, “I will stop this whole thing!”

As the Grinch took the Agenda, as he started to shove,

He heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.

He turned around fast, and he saw a small Chu!

Little Cindy-Lou Chu, who was no more than two.

She stared at the Grinch and said, “Engineer, why,

Why are you taking our Cycle Tracks? Why?”

But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick,

He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!

“Why, my sweet little tot,” the fake engineer lied,

“There’s a light on this Track that won’t light on one side.

So I’m taking it home to my workshop, my dear.

I’ll fix it up there, then I’ll bring it back here.”

And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head,

And he got her a drink, and he sent her to bed.

And when Cindy-Lou Chu was in bed with her cup,

He crept to the chimney and stuffed the minutes up!

You’re a vile one, Mr. Grinch. You have termites in your smile.

You have all the tender sweetness of a seasick crocodile.

Mr. Grinch! Given the choice between the two of you I’d take the seasick crocodile!

You’re a rotter, Mr. Grinch. You’re the king of sinful sots.

Your heart’s a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots.

Mr. Grinch! You’re a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch, with a nauseous super “naus”!

You’re a crooked dirty jockey and you drive a crooked hoss.

Mr. Grinch! Your soul is an appalling dump heap overflowing with the most disgraceful assortment of rubbish imaginable mangled up in tangled up knots!

You’re a foul one, Mr. Grinch. You’re a nasty-wasty skunk.

Your heart is full of unwashed socks. Your soul is full of gunk.

Mr. Grinch! The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote, “Stink, stank, stunk”!

And the only thing left, down at city hall

Was a short note to the Mayor, written in grinchy scrawl.

Then he did the same thing to the Councillor’s houses,

Leaving crumbs much too small for the Councillor’s mouses!

It was quarter of dawn. All the Chus still a-bed,

All the Chus still a-snooze, when he packed up his sled,

Packed it up with their plans, their letters, their wrappings,

Their drawings, their websites, their photos, and mappings!

One thousand feet up, up Nose Hill he leapt

He carried his load to the top to reject!

“Pooh-pooh to the Chus!” he was grinchily humming.

“They’re finding out now that no Cycle Tracks are coming!

They’re just waking up! I know just what they’ll do!

Their mouths will hang open a minute or two

Then the Chus down in Chu-ville will all cry boo-hoo!

That’s a noise,” grinned the Grinch, “that I simply must hear!”

He paused, and the Grinch put a hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.

It started in low, then it started to grow.

Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays

Welcome, Cycle Tracks! Come this way

Fahoo forays, dahoo dorays

Welcome Cycle Tracks, T&T Day!

Welcome, welcome, fahoo ramus

Welcome, welcome, dahoo damus

Cycle Track Day is in our grasp

So long as we have hands to clasp

But this sound wasn’t sad!

Why, this sound sounded glad!

Every Chu down in Chu-ville, the tall and the small,

Was singing without any Cycle Tracks at all!

He hadn’t stopped bicycles from coming! They came!

Somehow or other, they came just the same!

And the Grinch, with his grinch feet ice-cold in the snow,

Stood puzzling and puzzling. “How could it be so?

It came without drawings! It came without flags!

It came without letters, or social media tags!”

He puzzled and puzzed till his puzzler was sore.

Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before.

Maybe the joy of bicycling, he thought, doesn’t come from a store.

Maybe the joy of bicycling, perhaps, means a little bit more!

And what happened then? Well, in Chu-ville they say

That the Grinch’s small heart grew three sizes that day!

And then the true meaning of cycling came through,

And the Grinch found the strength of ten Grinches, plus two!

And now that his heart didn’t feel quite so tight,

He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light

With a smile to his soul, he descended Nose Hill

Cheerily blowing “Chu! Chu!” on his trumpet.

He rode into Chu-ville. He brought back their toys.

He brought his YES vote to the Chu girls and boys.

He brought back their plans, their letters and wrappings,

Brought back their drawings, their websites and mappings.

He brought everything back, Ship Nog for the feast!

And he, he himself, the Grinch carved the roast beast!

Welcome Cycle Tracks. Bring your cheer,

Cheer to all Chus, far and near.

Cycle Track Day is in our grasp

So long as we have hands to grasp.

Cycle Track Day will always be

Just as long as we have we.

Welcome Cycle Tracks while we stand

Heart to heart and hand in hand.