Before the funeral, before her face disappears onto our back pages, I hope every teenager and young woman in town locks eyes with

, then locks that image away for the moment when you may need her.

There is no consolation to be found in the death of this generous 21-year-old. But there is a worthy memorial in a community that is less innocent about, and better

prepared for, the evil that chased her down.

These reality checks are difficult. The young believe they are bulletproof, and many of their parents — I raise a guilty hand — are unnerved by any conversation that

suggests otherwise.

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Yet that frank discussion need not be fear-based, Sara K. Johnson — director of the Portland Police Bureau’s

— reminds us.

Especially if it focuses on prevention, the safety zone between paranoia and denial.

Three days after Jonathan Holt, Heichel’s 24-year-old neighbor, asked her for a ride to work on Oct. 16, her battered body was discovered on Larch Mountain.

We may never know what Whitney did to survive once Holt, by his own admission,

, turned his gun toward her.

But your ability to survive the same dark straits, Johnson says, may depend on how prepared you are, and how calm and confident you remain, when the crisis is upon you.

While Johnson, who has taught self-defense skills at WomensStrength for the past 11 years, insists she can’t provide a tactical cheat sheet, she highlighted the following in an hour-long conversation:

More than 80 percent of the time, women and girls are assaulted by someone they know, Johnson says.

If you find that hard to believe, consider this: Your vulnerability increases to the extent that you are isolated, surprised, intimidated or silent. Because they have

access you would never give to total strangers, acquaintances have a special advantage.

Take precautions. Make plans. If you anticipate worst-case scenarios, you don’t have to fixate on them.

Thus, you should lock the doors as soon as you slip into your car. Keep the cell phone at your ear when you walk across a lonely campus. Surrender the keys or pocketbook, but stand your ground if someone tries to push you into his car or van.

Johnson said she reviews the safety plan with her 5-year-old each time they head to OMSI or the zoo. “We have a meeting spot,” she says. “He’s old enough to remember that. If I’m not there, and he’s truly lost, he looks for a mom with children. That’s the safest person to ask for help.”

And bear this in mind: The buddy system actually becomes more essential as you slowly work your way from kindergarten to the senior-class kegger and frat party.

“Trust your gut. Your intuition,” Johnson says. That first flutter of the heart or pulse that warns you something is spinning out of control.

“A lot of times, we overthink that piece,” Johnson says. “We’re the only animals that process our fear and intuition.”

Fight that impulse. “Intuition is a gift,” Johnson says. “We call it our first line of self-defense. No matter what situation you’re in, you have escape options. Your

intuition will guide you on the safest option.”

Once you commit to a course of action, don’t hold back.

Whatever you do, Johnson says, “do it 100 percent.”

That may be raising your voice. Re-enforcing your boundaries. Telling the hoop star that if his hand grazes your blouse again, he’ll be wearing your Ninkasi.

Or if the threat overwhelms your safety plan or exit strategy, it may be scarier than that: Swinging an elbow. Screaming as if your life depends on it. Closing your eyes

as you open the door of a moving car.

If you are cornered, if you are terrified, if all else fails in remaining calm, I might suggest this:

Remember that face. Speak her name.

Whitney Heichel.

And as you fight back, and live on, may her grace and strength be with you.

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