Indeed, the trends over the past half century are remarkable. In 1960, 72 percent of American adults were married, and just 13 percent of households were occupied by one person.

It may seem obvious that unmarried people and solo dwellers are isolated, and therefore at risk of feeling lonely. In fact, some scholars actually use living alone as an objective measure of isolation. Yet a closer look at the lives of this group suggests something quite different. For a large chunk of solo dwellers, living alone is not a burden: Research shows that many people who live alone excel at creating and nurturing personal relationships. Rather than forgoing relationships, they are redefining them in more expansive ways. And the same is true for single Americans, regardless of whether they live alone.

The psychological benefits of being alone

To determine whether solo dwellers are lonelier than people who live with others, researchers typically just compare the loneliness of the two groups of people. But this comparison ignores the matter of choice—the people who never wanted to live alone are often mixed in with those who savor their own space. Another problem is that solo dwellers differ from those who live with others in important ways. For example, among seniors, solo dwellers are less financially secure than those who live with others. In a large study that statistically controlled for financial differences, such that people who lived alone were compared to similar people who lived with others, the results were startling: The people living alone were less lonely.

Similar problems plague the study of loneliness among single people. Those who want to be single are frequently tossed in with the ones who yearn to be married. (In a 2017 survey, 58 percent of adults who had never been married and 23 percent who were previously married said they wanted to marry.) Sometimes researchers compare adults who do not currently have a spouse or romantic partner to adults who do, as if people who are recently divorced or widowed and may be acutely lonely are no different from people who have been single all their lives.

It’s becoming clearer that living alone isn’t the big driver of loneliness that it’s often made out to be. Before the 20th century, living alone was practically nonexistent in America. But it’s what many seniors in the United States chose once Social Security and Medicare offered them a modicum of financial freedom. And it is what women chose once they were no longer tethered to a husband for economic life support.

The same trends are continuing today. Living alone can be challenging for older people who have mobility or health issues, and yet, nearly 90 percent of seniors want to age in place, having developed attachments to their home and their autonomy. In a recent study in which single women in their 30s and early 40s were asked to state their No. 1 priority, 44 percent said it was living alone, while just 20 percent said it was getting married. Among young adults, living on their own is a point of pride. And roughly 6 percent of committed American couples are living apart, in homes of their own, not because job constraints have forced them to, but because they want to.