OTTAWA – At a press conference held earlier today, Leader of the Conservative Party, Andrew Scheer, promoted the inclusion of consuming several litres of whole milk in less than an hour into the Canadian food guide.

“There is lots of evidence to suggest that starting your day with 3.78 litres of whole milk can give you the energy and hydration needed, until your mid-morning bucket of sour cream,” proclaimed the potential Prime Minister, as he shovelled handfuls of plain Greek yogurt into his mouth.

Reacting to the news, a spokesperson for the Dairy Farmers of Canada stated, “We couldn’t be happier about this proposal. I’m not a doctor but there are dozens of studies that our organization has paid millions of dollars for clearly illustrating that milk is extremely healthy and probably cures erectile dysfunction.”

The press conference was cut short once Scheer began projectile vomiting onto the crowd. As his limp buddy was carried off stage, Scheer was heard muttering, “Trudeau is a soy boy,” before being rushed to the closest hospital.

The Leader is currently in the intensive care ward where his condition has been upgraded from critical to mild fermentation.

When asked about the proposed addition, a spokesperson from the Dietitians of Canada, simply said, “Oh, Dear God!”

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