Richmond has been through some dark days over the last few decades but nothing as embarrassing as losing the tackle count on Saturday. Sure, we won by 14 goals but all 22 of them should hand back their match payments after such a shocking display. Well at least that's what happened according to the Fox Footy team





Anyone who has watched more than 15 minutes of us over the last three years would realise that Richmond isn't a high tackling team. They tackle when they have to, but the aim generally is forcing a turnover. That doesn't mean we won't need to come out all guns blazing some weeks, Hawthorn (whom this plan is based inspired stolen from) out-tackled Sydney in the grand final last year despite having an absolutely bonkers 144 more disposals. There will be matches when we have to get down in the trenches, but a round 20 match against the 16th placed team who couldn't beat an egg at the moment wasn't one of them.





On what looked like a cracking Melbourne afternoon, Richmond's array of greatest hits was on display. First up we had the dominate the game but not kick any goals, followed by the take the foot off the pedal and let an ordinary team back into it and then a full quarter of wondering around aimlessly. That was just the first half of the gig. The second half featured our rarely heard back catalogue of belting hell out of a bunch of no hopers, I like it when they play that set.





Selection on Thursday night didn't leave most of us thrilled and that combined with the fact that we were playing Gold Coast meant that my Twitter feed approaching this game was about as excited as you'd just been transferred to Syria for work.





Neither Thomas or Morris is the future and their selection isn't a great message to the kids on the list who would sell a body organ to get a game right now, but I didn't hate it as much as most. Thomas is an injury to Miles away from playing every match. Morris when not flapping around in the forward pocket like a fish out of water remains a better than average defensive stopper, exhibited by the fact we barely saw Aaron Hall after quarter time. I didn't hate Thomas' game as much as some people seem to have, 19 disposals and a good chunk of them contested is exactly what it says on the tin and he'll be better for the four quarters. Fingers crossed that we don't need either of them when it really gets serious, but I'd much prefer with that game under the belt than be called upon in the first final following months of running around in a god awful VFL team.





We all want to see McBean play, but it aint going to happen this year unless Jack gets injured or Ty gets suspended, the good news for McBeaniacs is that Ty is a better than average bet of whacking someone before the year is out so you might get your wish. As for the other kids, the well is pretty dry. McDonough is no good, Menadue will be player but could get killed by Hawthorn's midfield in a final and I don't get the vibe that we are packing any other heat in the VFL at the moment.





In terms of team balance I suspect it's Titch back soon, Conca soonish and Grimes hopefully. You'd expect that Thomas is first out, Morris behind him and then one of Lloyd or Lennon is going to be unlucky based on how they're playing at the moment. Personally, I'd prefer Lennon to play because we know he'll still be there in five years and finals experience at that age is unquestionably a good thing for the future. Of course this is all on the proviso that we don't get any injuries which is incredibly optimistic three weeks out from the finals.





You can probably tell that I've cleared a bit more time to write this week because that's a torrent of consciousness and I haven't even started on the game yet.





My afternoon got off to a good start when I settled on the couch and fired up the iPad to be greeted by the news that Telstra had broken the Internet when updating their AFL app so I reverted to the phone screen for the afternoon. Once I got that started, I was greeted by Fox Footy's montage of the greatest Gold Coast vs Richmond hits and reminded of the carnage this fixture has done to my already perilous mental state and by this stage I was ready to go and sit in the sun for a few hours and return home to learn our fate later in the afternoon.





I stuck it out, and found that when Fox use their wide pan camera it doesn't matter if Vickery or Lambert has the ball everyone looks the bloody same on the phone. When they zoomed in on their first close shot for the game it was just in time to see Ty outmarked cold by Sam Day, quickly followed Batchelor for some reason bobbing up in the forward pocket trying to rove to Jack and I was ready to throw the phone off the balcony before the clock had ticked over two minutes.





Thankfully I'd held onto my Apple contraption and was soothed by a Jack bombed goal from outside 50. Alongside Angry Trent Cotchin Jack's improved range is one of the things that has pleased me the most as the season has gone on, it wasn't that long ago that he would look to pass from 45 metres but now he's banging them in from all over the shop. Hopefully nobody checks his boots unless he has snuck a bit of graphite in there.





By and large we did what we had to in the first quarter, even if it did take a little while to get going. The contest was over at quarter time, which wasn't as quick as the Dogs burying Melbourne later in the day but it was OK by me. I thought Vlastuin especially did some great things early when there was a little heat in it, because he doesn't get huge numbers (yet or ever?) he doesn't get plaudits often enough, but it's good to know he's appreciated by those who count





With the game poised for us to really lay down some hurt, what you thought was going to happen did and we phoned in the second quarter and barely fired a shot. The quarter was so bland that the highlight was Eddie getting arse about confused, completely forgetting which end of the ground we were kicking to and thinking Rance was running into an open goal when he was switching across goal to Chaplin. He recovered reasonably well and managed to get through the game without dropping any casual racism so we'll call the day a win for Ed.





At half time I got sick of #tacklecountchat and flicked off my tiny little phone screen and over to the ABC where I heard ten minutes of Adam '

Whateley Lite'

White talking about the netball, golf and the NFL for ten minutes. Granted the game was a bit dull but it'd be nice to get a few minutes of analysis.





Other broadcasting highlights throughout the day included our old mate Spud Frawley running with 'Richmond win more often under Deledio' stats as if he'd been the first person to discover the link. Lids is never allowed to get injured or sick again and the fact he could undress a nun five rows behind the goals with a set shot from 45 metres makes me deliriously happy.





I suppose it has been a long season for broadcasters as well and with that all behind us, Dusty the third quarter started with one of those nuts reverse bananas from dead straight in front that he should patent and then we ran all over them for a solid hour. If Cairns didn't exist you could almost feel sorry for them but I didn't for one second and enjoyed us putting the foot down way more than I should have.

Even Newy started doing a few things in the second half, that long pass to Ellis was silk and things like that make you realise why Hardwick is keeping him around in the team, I just wish he did them more often.





I'm god knows how many words down and haven't even mentioned the bloke who is about to get five votes next to his name. How happy are we all with Kane Lambert? Fresh off Miles last year we are finally getting value from the rookie list, and that's a couple of blokes who look like best 22 for years to come. He comes across as a really good bloke who seems crazy grateful for the opportunity and that makes him even better in my books.





While all this is going on, we are off to the finals for a third year in a row, Carlton are stone cold last, Essendon and imploding and Collingwood are entering the dreaded top half of the bottom half zone where you can end up for five years before you even realise you are treading water.





And it all ended with fan favourite Ty Vickery kicking a goal after the siren to cap a very good day for him. What more could you really ask for?





But more there was today when Sam Lloyd of all people bobbed up on the front page of the Financial Review which, as pointed out by the RTT lads, is pretty bonkers given his backstory.

#gotiges pic.twitter.com/KP2hSBnMui A few years ago Sammy Llyod was toiling in bush footy obscurity, now he's front page AFR #bigtimebaby August 16, 2015

I just love the thought that somewhere today a newspaper featuring Sam Lloyd on the front cover could have been used in someone's proof of life photo.





With that one out of the way, we'd want to be well up for it against Collingwood, a few years back we lined them up when our season was over and they were finals bound and Jake King and Tom Hislop set back relations between the clubs a solid 20 years. They still have a few blokes from that team playing and I can't imagine they've forgotten that because it was pretty ordinary by us to be honest. They'll be super keen to knock us off and cause a bit of chaos, it's nice to be the hunted rather than the hunter but it also means you have to be ready. And we sure weren't against Collingwood.





Changes for next week





Let us not reinvent the wheel, they'll be much better for blowing out the cobwebs.





In: Edwards

Out: Thomas







5: Kane Lambert



3: Ty Vickery

2: Nick Vlastuin

1: Dustin Martin 4: Bachar Houli3: Ty Vickery2: Nick Vlastuin1: Dustin Martin





Unlucky: Loads but in rough order: Grigg, Rance, Deledio, Cotchin, Maric and basically everyone else.





Leaderboards





The Benny:





30: Dustin Martin

23: Anthony Miles, Trent Cotchin and Bachar Houli

19: Alex Rance

18: Brett Deledio

17: Jack Riewoldt

16: Shane Edwards and Shaun Grigg

15: Brandon Ellis and Taylor Hunt

12: Troy Chaplin

10: Nick Vlastuin

9: Kane Lambert

8: Nick Vlastuin, Dylan Grimes and Ivan Maric

4: Ty Vickery

3: Kamdyn McIntosh, Chris Newman, Ben Griffiths and Jake Batchelor

2: Sam Lloyd

1: Steven Morris, Shaun Hampson and Ben Lennon





Blair Hartley Appreciation Award:





23: Anthony Miles and Bachar Houli

16: Shaun Grigg

15: Taylor Hunt

12: Troy Chaplin

8: Ivan Maric

1: Shaun Hampson





Anthony Banik Best First Year Player:





9: Kane Lambert

3: Kamdyn McIntosh





Joel Bowden's Golden Left Boot:





23: Bachar Houli

16: Shaun Grigg

12: Troy Chaplin

3: Jake Batchelor and Chris Newman





Greg Tivendale Rookie List Medal:





9: Kane Lambert