WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Dropping a bombshell less than a week before the Presidential election, the F.B.I. Director James Comey revealed on Wednesday that the Bureau was investigating Hillary Clinton's ties to Bill Clinton.

The announcement, which Comey made in a letter to members of Congress, provoked immediate howls of protest from Hillary Clinton's campaign chairman, John Podesta.

"To say that they are investigating so-called ties between Hillary and Bill Clinton while offering no specifics about what those ties might be is unconscionable this close to an election," Podesta told CNN.

Comey, however, stood his ground, telling reporters that there was no way the F.B.I. could divulge the results of its Clinton-Clinton probe before Election Day.

"We have reason to believe that the ties between these two individuals go back to the nineteen-seventies," he said. "This is going to take some time."

On the campaign trail, Donald Trump praised Comey, whom he called "my favorite person in the world right now."