For all the men worried about hugging women and proper holiday-party conduct following the sexual misconduct allegations that have gripped various industries this year, Tracee Ellis Ross has some good news: the rules are actually pretty simple. And, to make them even simpler, the Black-ish actress has penned a handy guide—in the form of a children’s book called The Handsy Man.

Yes, it seems that Ross has pulled a Carrie Bradshaw and penned a children’s book for adults—well, sort of. The bit came as part of Ross’s slot as guest host of Jimmy Kimmel Live!, and its villain is all too familiar to many women. As Ross describes him, the Handsy Man has “10 long fingers, creepy glares, and hugs that linger.” For those who worry that they themselves might be a Handsy Man, the actress has some clear, sage advice. A sample:

You may not compliment my butt.

You may not call me “ho” or “slut.”

And even if you’re stoned or drunk,

do not expose me to your junk. And if I am your employee,

don’t rest your hand upon my knee.

No, I won’t sit on your lap.

I shouldn’t have to say this crap.

Perhaps these guidelines will help some men navigate the season. Then again, if you need a faux children’s book to lay it out for you . . .