November 18th, 2017

Andrews Air Force Base, Maryland: Reports and photos from around the globe show Air Force One drawing large penises in the sky whenever President Trump is on board. At first, the Air Forces Special Air Mission Command denied the accusations or tried to place the blame on other rogue pilots on training missions, but recent photos clearly show the phallus-shaped jet streams appearing wherever Air Force One goes.

RFN reporter Andy Mocksham went to the headquarters of the Special Air Mission at Andrews Air Force base and was granted an interview with the Air Mobility Command spokesperson, Lt Bullocks.

When asked why the pilots were drawing the penises and who was authorizing them to do so, Lt Bullocks said:

“The Commander and Chief.”

“The President?”

“Yes Mocksham, the President is the Commander and Chief.”

“President Trump is fixated on the size of his hands and his, well…Tallywacker. In fact, that is the official code name for the maneuver that is executed to make the drawings. The Tallywacker.”

“Once he found out that the maneuver is practiced by all military pilots he insisted on it becoming his trademark whenever Air Force One departs a destination, weather permitting of course.”

“The pilots are instructed to execute the Tallywacker maneuver so that it is pointing in the direction of Trump Tower in New York City. The President actually rates the pilots on how well they perform the maneuver and gives his favorites new call signs.”

“His current top pilot designation is “Skyscraper.”

Trump and “Skyscraper”

