Written by Neville Percival Croft

TRIGGER WARNING: This article contains a word prone to giving people panic attacks and fits of anxiety. Proceed with caution and have your emergency inhalers and safety kittens on standby.

Let’s focus on the facts, womxn are more oppressed now than any other point in history. Each day they are forced to deal with harassment, casual sexism, and a myriad of mean words. Arguably the worst of these words is the slur “Karen”. For the safety of our readers, and to prevent any horrific sensory overloads, I’m going to refer to this slur as the K word. To put it bluntly, the K word needs banning. Now.

Many unsuspecting womxn have had emotional breakdowns after being called the K word

Not a single womxn is safe from this slur. All across the world, womxn have faced harassment both online and in public. One of these womxn was POC history Professor Samantha Hilbert Isabel Tortellini PhD, who was called the K word by one of her very own students during an online class. Our journalists managed to conduct an online interview with Professor Tortellini for answers regarding this terrifying situation.

Oh Mxr Croft, it was awful. I was just trying to teach my students about how white people need to do more to atone for their sins when one of the white students attacked me and my integrity as a Professor. I did what any sane persyn would do and called him a sexist bigot. That’s when he said it, he said the K word. Immediately I convulsed and slammed the laptop down. I even heard faint laughs from my class as I was literally shaking in fear and vomiting. I spent the remainder of that day in my cry closet and haven’t left since. I don’t think I can teach again, I’m too scared to. Professor Samantha Hilbert Isabel Tortellini PhD (She/Her), POC history Professor, 55, Proud mother of 7 cats.

Happy senior woman holding her tabby cat cat

In order to raise awareness of the K word, the good comrades at Journalist Excellence Worldwide created a poll asking whether or not the K word should be banned from Twitter. Unfortunately, this poll was ruthlessly targeted by bad actors, fascists, Nazis, and your average cyber bigot.

As you can clearly see, the poll was rigged with over 300,000 bad actors coming together to rig it in their favour.

On the bright side, the poll will be repaired using the handy dandy Poll Integrity Saving System to correct it and allow for the journalist approved results to be displayed. A new system called the Poll Operations Observer/Protector is in the works which will prevent any future polls from being infiltrated by the alt right.

The reality is that more needs to be done. We stand with womxn everywhere like Professor Tortellini and firmly believe that the word Karen be banned all across the internet. Our completely reasonable demands are already being sent to places like Twitter and Facebook so that they can play their role in saving people from being mentally traumatised.

Joe Biden will fix everything.