Gaston is one of those guys who seems to think that more is more. He even has a whole song about how gigantic and great he is, which we admit is a pretty good song as far as Villains’ ballads go. But at some point, someone needed to step in and tell Gaston to cool out: 60 eggs is just too many eggs. We mean that metaphorically (less is more, sometimes) and also literally (that is a very expensive and unnecessary egg habit).

Gaston initially claims that when he was a “lad” he ate four dozen eggs every morning to achieve his intimidating stature. Right off the bat, that sounds like a lot of eggs, but just in case you were unsure, this is what forty eight eggs looks like:

That’s twelve times four, Gaston, far too many eggs for a single human being to eat, in our humble opinion. But because no one stepped in and taught Gaston to slow his roll when he was still young, he’s upped the stakes to five dozen eggs as a grown man. This is what five dozen eggs looks like:

Gaston, that is too many eggs. But just look at him go, horking down eggs like it’s no big deal:

He claims that ingesting so many eggs has made him roughly the size of a barge, and it’s no wonder. Let’s just say for argument’s sake that one egg is 100 calories, and Gaston is enjoying 60 of them daily…

Yep, 6,000 calories per day before he’s even had lunch. Now, Gaston is a very sizable and active young man, so he probably does need a lot of eggs to fuel all of his (literal) benching.

We’re not nutritionists or anything, but we did a little research on the recommended caloric intake for a healthy diet. It turns out Gaston is actually consuming enough eggs to fuel two very strong and active Gastons based on his breakfast alone!

So in conclusion, this isn’t just an opinion, Gaston. You are literally, metaphorically, quantitatively, and scientifically eating too many eggs. You might want to dial it back, buddy.

Unrelated, but funny:

Posted 7 years Ago