After enduring a firestorm of criticism for failing to send a high-ranking official to last Sunday’s massive anti-terror rally in France, Secretary of State John Kerry finally made it to Paris on Thursday — where he immediately cemented his reputation as an international laughing-stock.

In perhaps the most pathetic diplomatic apology ever enacted without actually saying “I’m sorry,” Kerry offered a “big hug” to a room full of survivors, family members and first responders involved in the Charlie Hebdo massacre.



And then he trotted out James Taylor, looking on proudly as the 70s-era guitarist serenading the shell-shocked survivors with a soulful rendition of “You’ve Got a Friend.”

The Twitter reaction was swift, with many observers simply refusing to believe such things actually happen in real life:

Wait so this whole "John Kerry has James Taylor perform 'You've Got a Friend'" thing really happened? It's not from The Onion?! — Kurt Bopp (@kbopp6) January 16, 2015

Just told my 70 year old mom that John Kerry brought James Taylor to the French press conference. She was speechless #WorldRecord — Michele Frost (@michelelfrost) January 16, 2015

Others mused about the tactical implications of America’s new folk-music-as-diplomacy strategy:

John Kerry ideas:

1. James Taylor sing "You've Got a Friend" to France

2. Simon & Garfunkel sing "Bridge over Troubled Waters" to Iran. — Seymour Sludgeworth (@SSludgeworth) January 16, 2015

Next up: John Kerry will pledge to roll all over Islamists like James Taylor's "Steamroller." He will shoot them full of rhythm and blues. — Jim Antle (@jimantle) January 16, 2015

I look forward to Kerry bringing Elton John to express solidarity against Boko Haram. "Candle In The Wind," anyone? pic.twitter.com/dCRyjqiHFQ — Ben Shapiro (@benshapiro) January 16, 2015

Then there were those who wondered what the French audience was thinking:

Obama decides not to attend terror rally,

John Kerry brings James Taylor to sing…

France demands Statue of Liberty be returned. #Awkward — Seymour Sludgeworth (@SSludgeworth) January 16, 2015

John Kerry brought James Taylor to Paris to sing "You've got friend" to the French people. Haven't they suffered enough? #TJJS — Jon Justice (@JonJustice) January 16, 2015

If only Bluto had been in Paris. #bighug https://t.co/kvXn6CfnSM — Free Beacon (@FreeBeacon) January 16, 2015

Still others took the opportunity to imagine how the State Department’s move would play abroad:

"Dear Terrorists: please accept this lovely wind chime fashioned from our testicles." -Western Civilization http://t.co/nqkNH19rq9 — David Burge (@iowahawkblog) January 16, 2015

Finally there was this guy, who just wanted to know who the hell was responsible for this:

https://twitter.com/BoydRoddy/status/556115409888612352