For those that have missed this segment, this is a weekly series on Anaheim Calling to take a look at how various players on the team have fared. I will arbitrarily rank a random topic along on a scale of 1 to 5 stars and place different Ducks within the categories based on their performance over the past week. My reasoning for the rating of the Ducks will be based on stats, results, and probably some of my bias. My reasoning for the rating of the random topic will be completely biased #dealwithit. I will elaborate more on some players than others. I expect everyone to probably disagree with me on both topics and all of my takes will be outed. If there is something you would like me to rank please feel free to leave it in the comments. On to the fun!

The games included in the ratings for this week are Dec 16th against the Capitals, Dec 18th against the Devils, Dec 19th against the Rangers, and Dec 21st against the Islanders.

With Christmas coming up on Monday, I figured why not get into the holiday spirit and rank holiday movies! Like past weeks, these rankings are 100% correct and no one can tell me otherwise. I am a Rudolph after all.

5 Stars: National Lampoon’s: Christmas Vacation

Christmas Vacation is an absolute classic. It combines the comedy that you expect from Chevy Chase and National Lampoon along with some very well known Christmas ideas, like an old wealthy grinch changing his ways. The movie gives us a bunch of iconic moments like Clark’s rant after receiving a Jelly of the Month club voucher as compared to a bonus, the cat burning the tree, and so many more that I could reel off but it would take up the entire article so I will spare you. Christmas Vacation is the best Christmas movie around.

Ryan Getzlaf - “Oh Captain, you’re so fine, you’re so fine you blow my mind, hey captain, hey captain”. Getzlaf was just amazing this week. I am ignoring all of the shot metrics for him and only basing this off his production. He had a goal, 4 primary assists, and 2 secondary assists for 7 points in the 4 games this week. On top of that he completely dominated the OT against the Islanders, being on the ice for all 4 CF over this time and 0 CA. Getzlaf was as good as Christmas Vacation this week.

Hampus Lindholm - Lindholm, like Getzlaf, is getting this ranking because of his production. He had the second hat trick by a defenseman in Ducks history against the Islanders. Lindholm is great because of his ability to get the puck out of the D zone, so for him to contribute like this is just icing on top of the cake.

Josh Manson - Manson had a CF% and xGF% above 55% on the week, and if you are not an advanced stats fan, then his point production was also there this week. He was second on the team in point production for the week, with 2 primary assists and 3 secondary assists for 5 points in the 4 games.

4 Stars: Elf

Will Ferrell is absolutely hilarious as Buddy the Elf. This is probably the best Christmas movie around that you could watch with kids around, but falls short of Christmas Vacation because of the lack of adult humor. One side note about Elf is its always hilarious to see Peter Dinklage not playing Tyrion Lannister.

Adam Henrique - Henrique, shot metric wise, had an average week. He was slightly below 50% in CF% and slightly above 50% in xGF%. His stupidly good alley oop goal elevated him to a 4 star ranking this week. I am easily entertained by cool shit.

Ondrej Kase & Antoine Vermette - Vermette and Kase were above 50% in both CF% and xGF%. Kase sat third on the team in ixGF for the week and put up 2 goals. It seems like these two are starting to settle back into their roles.

Logan Shaw - Derek Grant - Chris Wagner - The fourth line for most of the week was pretty solid. The line produced one goal and was above 60% in CF% and above 50% in xGF%. If this line can keep up these types of performances, they could become an important part of the team.

3 Stars: Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer

The movie of my namesake is an absolute Christmas classic. The claymation flick chronicles Rudolph’s story and interaction with the misfit toys and the wonderful Clarice. Even though this movie is a classic, it definitely has not aged that well bringing it to a 3 star rating.

Rickard Rakell - Rakell’s on ice performance left a bit to be desired, being on the wrong side of both xGF% and CF%, but his individual numbers were quite impressive. He led the team in ixGF and individual shot attempts. He also put up a goal and a primary assist for 2 points on the week. Without the individual production he would be ranked lower on the list

Jakob Silfverberg - Silfverberg’s week was similar to Rakell. Not great on ice shot metrics, but good individual numbers.

Cam Fowler - Cam was right at 50% in CF% and below 50% in xGF%, but he led the defense in individual shot attempts and almost scored the Ducks first OT winner of the season against the Islanders. I would like to see his shot metrics come up a bit, with him leading the team in ice time, but his individual shot rates are impressive.

Kevin Bieksa - It is a Christmas Miracle!!! Kevin Bieksa broke his long standing streak of only getting one star with a decent performance this week. You have no idea how weird it is for me to type this, but Bieksa actually did not hurt the Ducks that much while he was on the ice. He was even in CF% and only slightly below 50% in xGF%.

Andrew Cogliano - Cogs had a rough week in terms of shot metrics, but did produce 2 points in the 4 games. His point production brings him up to 3 stars.

2 Stars: The Santa Clause

I can vaguely remember seeing this movie in theaters, but cannot remember seeing it many other times. I am putting it in the two star rating because it is probably the worst out of all the Christmas Movies I have seen.

Kevin Roy - I am probably being a bit biased by giving Roy a 2 star rating instead of 1 star, but I am the founder of “The Kevin Roy Fan Club”. Roy was not great this week. He was below 50% in CF% and below 40% in xGF%.

Brandon Montour - Montour did not have his best week ever. He was on the wrong end of both CF% and xGF%, but let me make this real clear, he should not be a healthy scratch on this team.

Nick Ritchie - I don’t have a whole lot to say on Ritchie this week. He has been sub par for most of the season at and this point he is just kinda there. So 2 stars I guess.

John Gibson - Gibson had a sub par week. He put up a -0.65 GSAA in the two games he played, meaning he was slightly below an average goaltender.

1 Star: A Christmas Story 2

So I will have to admit, I had to google bad Christmas movies to find out this movie existed. I watched the trailer and oh boy is it bad. Like really terrible. Nobody should be subjected to this type of bad.

Francois Beauchemin & Andy Welinski - Both Beauch and Welinski had pretty rough weeks. Both were significantly on the wrong end of the shot attempt and expected goal battle.

Ryan Miller - Miller and Gibson have been rocks for the team this week, as can be seen in my article about the goaltenders, but this week Miller hurt the team more than helped them. Miller had a -2.29 GSAA this week and based on my standards in my article cost the Ducks 2 points this week.

Unranked: Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo South Park Specials

These specials cannot be ranked due to them being TV specials and not movies, but I wanted to acknowledge how amazing these episodes are. I recently went back and rewatched them and they hold up. The Circle of Poo song might be the greatest thing South Park has ever done

Dennis Rasmussen (1 game played)

*All stats are from Corsica unless stated otherwise.