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Alex Cuthbert has opened up on the torment of his 2015 loss of form, revealing that at one stage he felt he didn’t belong in the Wales squad.

In a candid interview with The Times, Cuthbert spoke of how, after the World Cup quarter-final defeat to South Africa, he couldn’t face doing a lap of the field with his team mates to thank the Welsh supporters because he blamed himself for the late Fourie Du Preez try that cost Warren Gatland’s men the game.

Cuthbert, who now regrets walking off early, says he had ‘never felt so upset’ at the time, but also told how defence coach Shaun Edwards sought him out that evening to assure him he was not to blame for the score.

The Springbok disappointment capped a torrid year for the Lions wing, who managed to keep his place in Gatland’s side only because of injuries to so many of his rivals.

Cardiff Blues wide-man Cuthbert recalled how one moment in Wales training left him feeling as though he had no place in the national set-up.

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“There were a couple of days when I asked myself: ‘Am I actually good enough to be here?’,” he said.

“We had a defence session in training and I messed up a couple of times. I was down on myself and p****d off.

“We all got in a huddle, the backs, and Jamie (Roberts) picked me out and said: ‘Come on, we all believe in you, we know you’re a quality player, keep your head up’.

“He was trying to make me feel better. But it felt that they were thinking that I shouldn’t be there. And again, that put more doubt in my mind.

“That’s the most uncomfortable I felt – when Jamie, my mate, was trying to be nice.”

Cuthbert recalled that fateful game against South Africa, which Wales led going into the final stages before Du Preez’ sucker punch, which came off a wheeled scrum and a piece of genius from Springbok No.8 Duane Vermeulen.

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“I blamed myself straight away,” Cuthbert added. “I thought it was my fault.”

It meant the Gloucester-born star couldn’t face the public farewell after the final whistle, when his team mates embarked on a lap of thanks.

“I walked about halfway round; I have never felt so alone that I had to get away from it.

“It was the one thing my parents said I shouldn’t have done.”

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Despite Edwards’ take on the incident, Cuthbert says he ‘is going to have to live with it for the rest of my life’.

Reflecting on the toughest period in his career, Cuthbert continued: “After every game I was getting so hard on myself. I was trying too hard.

“I was putting more pressure on myself, trying too hard, getting more frustrated.

“I kept saying to myself: ‘I know what I can do, I haven’t played 40-odd Tests for nothing’.”

Now he is determined to prove the doubters wrong, and has started that process with a run of good form for the Blues.

“I want to stick it to everyone who’s given me the stick,” he said.

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