==> Toby Fox

rd English's rd English's

Lothyra: Ma'am?

Lothyra: I got the cards from storage.

Lothyra: We can plug them in now and give the AGs a nice gift.

Director: Wonderful.

Director: May I do the honors?

Director: It is done.

Director: To be honest, these upgrades are quite impressive.

Director: How did you happen to find them?

Lothyra: With the notable exception of the Charger, all of these extensions were originally in the Second War's Alchemiter, and I just swiped the codes for them before Minecraftia blew up.

Lothyra: The Charger is new tech, though.

Lothyra: Try not to mess around with it too much.

Director: Understood.

SCP-914 is a complex clockwork device that lets players transform their alchemies without having to alchemize them with a new ingredient, as well as recycle alchemies for Grist. It has five settings and will consume the input item unless the players says otherwise. The first setting, Coarse, will break the input down into its raw alchemy components and also refund you its Grist cost, letting you “recycle” items with it. The second setting, Rough, will consume the item and produce an item one level lower as well as refunding you the Grist cost difference between the output and input. The third setting, 1/1, will produce a random item of similar theme and level for no cost. The fourth setting, Fine, will produce an item of 1 level higher than the input and will cost the Grist difference between the two items. The fifth setting, Very Fine, will produce an item of 3 levels higher than the input and cost the Grist difference like Fine, but the items produced often have drawbacks in exchange for increased power. To use SCP-914, say "I do [Item] >[Setting]" if you want to consume the input and "I alchemize [Item] >[Setting]" if you want to alchemize the result separately.

The Enlarger is a standard extension provided by Sburb that lets you create smaller or larger versions of alchemies. A larger alchemy is 2 levels more while a smaller alchemy is 2 levels less. It creates new items so you have to pay the full Grist cost. To use the Enlarger, say "I alchemize [Item] -O Shrink" or "I alchemize [Item] -O Enlarge."

The Loom is, as the name suggests, a complex mechanical loom that allows players to convert items into clothing or armor alchemies. It has two settings: Decorative and Non-Decorative. The Decorative setting creates new Lv. 0 clothing alchemies that are purely decorative, free of cost, while the Non-Decorative setting can either consume a non-clothing/armor alchemy and produce a clothing/armor alchemy of the same level for no Grist cost or allow you to separately alchemize the armor alchemy for full cost. To create a decorative alchemy, say "I do [Item] ~~~ Decorative," to convert an item into a defensive alchemy, say "I do [Item] ~~~ Non-Decorative," and to separately alchemize a defensive alchemy, say "I alchemize [Item] ~~~ Non-Decorative."

The Potion Mixer is an upgrade that combines the functionality of the Brewing Stand and Dune Rotary Potion Mixer from DTG2. It allows the player to brew and upgrade consumable potions. Normally, the Potion Mixer brews or upgrades potions by consuming an ingredient and adding its Lv. to the total of the resulting potion, and this process can be repeated over and over as long as one keeps adding more ingredients. However, the ingredient must have been produced through the Alchemiter or acquired from a sidequest to work, as pure Descendancy summons are insufficient. The Potion Mixer can also separately alchemize a potion recipe for the full cost of the potion as a consumable alchemy. Finally, the Potion Brewer can combine two potions into one potion with the effects of both, though the resulting potion can be volatile depending on the potions mixed, so the user beware. To brew or upgrade a potion, say "I do [Potion] OOO [Ingredient]" if you're consuming the ingredient and "I alchemize [Potion] OOO [Ingredient]" if you're alchemizing the potion separately. To mix two potions together, say "I do [Potion 1] O0O [Potion 2]" or "I alchemize [Potion 1] O0O [Potion 2]" if you're alchemizing the mixture separately.

The Garage is an extension that allows the user to easily produce their own vehicle entities for personal transportation and escort using Grist. It has two functions. It can either be used to convert items into vehicle parts for free (or alchemize the vehicle parts separately priced at the cost of a consumable item) or install those parts onto a vehicle alchemy, consuming them in the process. A vehicle alchemy produced by the Garage can be deployed on the Battlefield as an entity worth its Lv in CP (which is the total sum of all the vehicle part Lv. installed onto it). If that vehicle entity is killed, it will not be gone forever, but will instead be put into a broken state, and the user can spend the cost of its Lv of consumable alchemy to repair it. To use it on an existing item, say, "I do [Item] -c Garage," and to either separately alchemize a vehicle part or install a vehicle part onto a vehicle, say "I alchemize [Item] -c Garage" for the former and "I do [Vehicle Part] -c [Vehicle]."

The Charger is an experimental device that allows players to convert Build or Precious Grist into CP. However, the cost is relatively steep, so it's not really effective to use it regularly. Each CP costs 10,000 Build Grist or 1,000 Precious Grist.

The Godmodder: Now, about the other upgrades?

Phobos: We have already altered the software of our soldiers' implants to eliminate the subpar reflexes they displayed during the Invasion.

Phobos: It should now be much harder to get the drop on them.

Phobos: In addition, we are rolling out models of our AEGIS Swarms.

Phobos: They may not be able to protect against Descendant shenanigans, but they should be able to serve as a last-ditch defense against any sudden assaults.

The Godmodder: Excellent.

The Godmodder: It pleases me to know that our soldiers won't ever be made fools of again.

The Godmodder: I can't wait to see the look on the AGs' faces when they reencounter them.

Eridan: hey wwait i gotta take this call real quick

Eridan: important highblood business

Eridan: ill be back

Jade: okay i think i configured the last one, we should be ready to test it!

Dave: alright

Dave: jarvis drop the needle because were gonna make tony stark look like bob semple

Dave: wait, where's the skirt

Karkat: FOR THE LAST TIME IN A FORMLESS ETERNITY OF TORMENT, EQUIUS, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I EXPLICITLY INFORMED YOU THAT YOU ARE UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES TO EXPERIMENT WITH POINTLESSLY-COMPLICATED SELF-DEPLOYING ROCKET-

Karkat: JADE?

Jade: oh my god karkat way to ruin the mood!

Karkat: SHIT I THOUGHT YOU WERE EQUIUS TRYING TO EXPERIMENT WITH ONE OF HIS "STRONGNESS-PROOF ARMOR."

Dave: okay maybe next time you should just use your space powers to put it on

Sollux: hey guy2

Sollux: ii thiink ii found thii2 weiird broadca2t from out2iide the 2e22iion

Sollux: ii cant recogniize where iit come2 from but ii can tran2late iit

Sollux: waiit thii2 ii2nt ju2t a tran2mii2iion it2 radiio

25%*)$&%-

Announcer: One, two, three, four, here we go!

Chorus: Culling, culling, culling, hahaha!

*rock music plays*

Announcer: This is True Condescension Radio!

Announcer: True Condescension Radio!

Tomark Allbin: I am your host, the one and only "Tomark Allbin!"

Announcer

: The badass of culling!

Announcer: Give him the Empire or give him death!

Allbin: That's it, period!

Announcer: Broadcasting live from his beautiful office aboard the Flagship Condescension!

Allbin: You look cullbaityer than a culling fork for God's sake.

Announcer: And now, he'll take it from here, the subjugators of subjugators, the man they call...

Announcer: Allbin.

-%&*($%^

Karkat: THAT IS LITERALLY THE LAST PERSON I EVER EXPECTED TO HEAR IN THE REST OF MY PAINFULLY SHORTENED LIFE.

Dave: wait who the fuck is this chump

Feferi: )(e was an infamous propagandist who worked for )(IC!

Feferi: I honestly wished he had died when the meteors came!

Terezi: H3 W4S 4 V3RY CONTROV3RS14L L3G1SL4C3R4TOR, BUT H3 B3C4M3 1NF4MOUS B3C4US3 H3 W4S B4S1C4LLY TH3 34S13ST 4ND FUNN13ST 1ND1V1DU4L TO TROLL 1N 4LL OF F1CT1ON.

Terezi: H3 D3V3LOP3D TH1S M4SS1V3 FOLLOW1NG OF 1NT3RN3T TROLLS TO TH3 PO1NT WH3R3 MOST OF H1S AUD13NCE W4SN'T L1ST3N1NG TO H1M S3R1OUSLY!

Dave: huh guess earth culture ended up ripping something else from you guys

Dave: long story

Equius: --> I don't know if what I say will change your mind but

Equius: --> Nepeta

Equius: --> Are you sure you want to do this

Equius: --> All because of a human video game and a desire for relevance

Nepeta: :33 < look equius i know you just want to protect me but...

Nepeta: :33 < i dont think just sheltering me and keeping me away from anything that might be dangerous is a good idea

Nepeta: :33 < i mean this is an actual war not just a session!

Nepeta: :33 < im in danger just by being here!

Nepeta: :33 < at this point im tired of trying to stay safe and getting scared of my own shadow!

Nepeta: :33 < because im starting to feel like...

Nepeta: :33 < maybe i should focus more on being relevant instead?

Nepeta: :33 < this may be my chance to shine for a bit!

Equius: --> I do not like the sound of this "Kingdom Hearts Invasion"

Equius: --> I worry that you may be entangling yourself in something too large and complicated for you to handle

Nepeta: :33 < yeah i know it sounds daunting but that person who contacted me says theyll spend a bunch of time training me how to deal with it

Nepeta: :33 < apparently i could end up filling a valuable position on one of their teams if i do well enough!

Nepeta: :33 < then ill have some other people around me to have my back!

Equius: --> True

Equius: --> But if I am to be honest I do not fully trust this mysterious contact iof yours

Equius: --> It may very well be a trap

Nepeta: :33 < well id rather take my chances than just sit around here like a total dumbass!

Equius: --> I suppose I cannot convince you to change your mind

Equius: --> Very well

Equius: --> I will still find a way to look after you

Equius: --> I cannot allow myself to fail in my duty now

Equius: --> Though I worry that some of our current leadership will cause issues for me in that regard

Nepeta: :33 dont worry about tavros and karkat, im sure theyll find a way to make things work!

Equius: --> I am skeptical

Equius: --> But anyway there isn't much more to say

Equius: --> I suppose this is farewell, for now

END OF INTERMISSION 1



BEGIN ACT 2

Far, far away from the megasession, in the far future of a universe that is separated from the events of the Paradox Wars not just by physical distance but by a narrative and temporal barrier, an Annoying Dog sits in front of an Update Terminal. Not just any Update Terminal, but one of the oldest and most powerful of them, which was formerly used to publish a small webcomic called Homestuck that you may have heard of. Though it was years and years since the Dog took over stewardship of this Terminal and the estate that houses it, the Dog has not yet been given a name. Well, that's actually not true at all, but I thought that I'd stick with the tried and true formula. What will his name be?Ah yes, the name seared into the minds of every RPG fan, Youtuber, and indie game connoisseur. Formerly the employee of a certain Andrew Hussie, self-proclaimed shitposter supreme and Grand Constable of all Earth, who then went on to harness the power of creation in his own right, an act that would cause the Narrative to view him as worthy to inherit the Update Terminal after his master's tragic demise at the hands of an indestructible demon who controls Time. Of course, he'd rather not talk about the horrors he witnessed duringincursion into this estate. Or should I say, I'd rather not. For it is the Annoying Dog who is currently typing up these very words, on a Terminal that somehow steers the Narrative through the interface of a forum game and is bound to transcribe its will. This paradox of choice is one with that has great implications on the nature of this war... but I don't have much time for navel-gazing (or would tail-gazing be more appropriate, given my species?), so I'll get to the point. Currently, you all want a peek into the meandering plot threads that will shape the future of this war, and, due to the power of this Update Terminal, I can provide you with that information. This shouldn't be too hard. Just adjust a few settings and......awaaaaaaaaay we go.---------------On top of the battered spires of Prospit, a small gathering of individuals looks out onto Skaia. Most of them are Prospitians, but they are joined by the occasional human or even Minecraftian, both refugees from a war that has long since ended. At the head of the group stands a tall female Prospitian, dressed in a snappy business suit decorated with a few medals earned in service to her realm. Her story is quite unique, for while she has countless incarnations across Paradox Space, this session's unusual circumstances would propel her to a position of power she never dreamed she would ever acquire. Just like in every other session, she began her life as a humble servant of the state - a "parcel mistress," making errands throughout Prospit and Skaia, and performing the duties necessary to uphold the most fundamental linchpin of civilization:. If this was an ordinary session, that would have been enough. But this session, in a situation that has occurred only one other time in Paradox Space's history, destiny had far greater plans for her. Perhaps it was the manifestation of a certain ambitious and power-hungry Dersite who shared her initials and would thus cause fate to steer her towards a new position. Regardless, as a result of the vast size of the megasession and the similarly vast burden that was placed on her greatly expanded employer, she found an opportunity. As the years passed, she began to distinguish herself in the eyes of the Royal Mail Office. She was entrusted with increasingly dangerous or sensitive deliveries, as well as other tasks of a more covert nature. This taught her new skills: cunning, tact, persuasion, and stealth. She continued to rise in prominence in the Office, until her superiors made her an offer: as a result of her exemplary performance, she could receive a full promotion from deliverywoman to member of the Office's management. The choice was hard for her, as she had grown attached to her life's rhythm and the thought of such a sudden change made her nervous. But, after realizing the kind of good she could do with such a position, she accepted in the end. Her new job was difficult and took some time to adjust to, but she emerged from it stronger than ever. Once again, she rose through the ranks of the Office as the years went by, until, one day, she was taken to an audience with the White Queen of Prospit, where she was offered the greatest position of all: Royal Mail Office Director.This time, she accepted with far less hesitation, and since then, she's counted herself among the ranks of Prospit's most influential figures. For her, her unlikely origins as the Parcel Mistress are just a distant memory of a simpler, but also less productive time. Now, she is only known as the Director. However, despite her repertoire of acquired skills, she still thought of herself as primarily a bureaucrat and administrator. Which is why she was shocked to find that the Monarchs had appointed her as their first choice for the Director of a clandestine organization meant to engage in a protracted guerrilla war against the tyrant that threatens their Kingdom. She may have gotten into a few scuffles and picked up some combat training for self-defense during her years of service, but she was no general, and all her knowledge of warfare came from army communications and the occasional book. However, it seems that the Monarchs realized that, for their resistance to succeed, Axios will need to be much more than just a band of rebels. To their credit, they also provided her with a military adviser who has decades of experience in not just the management of an organization with a military component, but the full breath of modern warfare of all shades. Perhaps this duo will be capable of doing the impossible and aiding the Descendants in breaking the Defiler's empire.The Director, lost in thought, is suddenly interrupted by the prompt arrival of her aforementioned advisor.The Director turns around to face Lothyra, who hands her six punched Captchalogue Cards of the kind used by the Alchemiter. With her payload in tow, the Director marches towards the nearby Alchemiter Lothyra set up, and accesses the Jumper Block Extension. She pulls out the first card and inserts it in. Suddenly, a large clockwork assembly labeled "SCP-914" materializes next to the Alchemiter. On it is an alchemy preview device as well as an item receptacle and a dial with five settings. This will allow the Descendants to more easily upgrade their items. The Director then inserts the second card in. Another extension, this one significantly smaller and resembling a mechanical loom, materializes. It will allow the Descendants to manufacture protective clothing and armor that will allow them to hold their own against the powerful enemies they will face in the future. The Director inserts the third card, and a familiar extension manifests - the Enlarger provided by Sburb to its players, allowing them to alchemize items at different sizes. The Director inserts the fourth card, and an even smaller extension appears, a table with a heavily modified potion brewing set from Minecraft, equipped with a high-tech rotary potion mixing system. It will allow the Descendants to brew and upgrade powerful potions to replenish their strength and vitality. The Director inserts the fifth card, and a far larger extension appears, this one being a miniature version of a garage found in most well-to-do homes. This upgrade will allow the Descendants to easily produce vehicles for personal transportation and space combat throughout the Incipisphere through the Alchemiter. Finally, the Director inserts the last card into the Jumper Block, and a new experimental-looking extension resembling a giant radially symmetrical claw that crackles with electricity appears. It appears this "charger" will allow the Descendants to convert their hard-won Grist directly into the crystallized Descendancy they make use of to fuel their more powerful attacks. The Director looks back at her adviser.The Director turns once again towards Skaia, then looks down at the Axios exodus fleet currently assembling on Prospit's outer shell. Soon, they will be thrust once again into the thick of battle, this time without the aid of the rest of their Kingdom. The thought does make the Director nervous, but she pushed it aside and gathers her resolve.They all have their work cut out for them.------------------Far away from Prospit, a mountain-sized assembly of metal plies the Veil, its engines alight with a blue glow, yet somehow far more difficult to trace with sensors than an engine of its power should. Surrounding it are smaller starships, serving as an escort. On its hull, a name is emblazoned. The "." The pride of the Godmodder's fleet. Far inside its hull, the Godmodder stands at a firing range, accompanied by a large humanoid figure in black armor. The two are observing as a Project Nexus Commando picks up a weapon from the rack in front of him. It's a new model of micro-missile launcher that wasn't deployed to the battlefield during the Prospit Invasion as it was still in the prototyping phase, but the unexpected effectiveness of the Descendants there has forced the Godmodder to accelerate its introduction. The Commando takes aim at a target 100 meters downrange, and the Godmodder signals for him to proceed. The Commando pulls the trigger, and a small missile fires out of the launcher and hits the target. However, instead of detonating, the missile instead buries a beacon inside the target, which promptly activates, emitting a blue glow and a field of energy. The Commando then picks up a standard-issue Project Nexus managun assault rifle and levels it at the target. However, instead of aiming normally, the Commando intentionally shifts his aim to the side, such that he would never be able to accurately hit the target under normal circumstances. He then pulls the trigger. The pulses of arcane energy come out on a trajectory that would miss the target, but as they approach the target's vicinity, they begin to curve towards the location of the beacon until they collide with the target as if the Commando had aimed properly. The Godmodder smiles at the sight of the test's success.------------------In the depths of the Kingdom that lies in darkness at the edge of the Incipisphere, at Derse's Royal Palace, Professor Mayonaka and the Black Queen look over a crowd of Dersite soldiers and Agents alike. They are assembled here to commemorate a new era in the Kingdom's history. An era where they will finally rid themselves of accursed Prospit and enjoy a deserved hegemony over the megasession they call home, free of Skaia's influence. But they will not stop there, for the Dersite leadership is already planning their future ascendance to the ranks of Paradox Space's great powers, all thanks to the Godmodder's generosity, and Mayonaka's ambition. The Professor looks to the side of the crowds and smirks as he sees the Exusia banners draped on the sides of the gathering call, a sign of the organization's growing clout. Mayonaka will ensure that the AGs and players alike will know not to threaten the Dersite leadership, and provide Derse with the tools for its ascendance. But... is that all he wants, or is he driven by an ulterior agenda?------------------On Prospit, Eridan looks away from Singra.Eridan walks into a nearby alley and pulls out his communicator. He connects to Derse's equivalent to Prospit's transmitter, than scans the Furthest Ring for one specific signal. After a few seconds, it shows up, and he sends a message. Once it is sent, he returns to Singra.------------------Meanwhile, on a nearby Land cluster only one eddy away from Skaia, the Homestuck characters, with the notable exception of Eridan and Gamzee, are hanging out at Rose's house on LoLaR, which they have converted into a makeshift permanent base due to its size compared to the other kids' houses. Theis currently parked next to the house's waterfall, thus making sure it can't get in the way of the view. The Homestucks are on a platform that Dave built above the waters, and they've set up an Alchemiter there, with them being puzzled at why it suddenly gained six new extensions. While Equius is investigating them, Sollux is busy setting up a computer to monitor the skies for any signals or other communications. Dave and Jade, on the other hand, are at a workbench trying to put the finishing touches on a project while Terezi watches in the background.Jade, who is wearing a green T-shirt and sweatpants, presses a button on a remote she's holding on her wrist. The sound of rocket motors fill the air as a set of flying armor parts rocket towards the two at high speed. However, Jade just reaches out and lets them collide with her body parts, where they unfold to cover them in a manner that was obviously ripped off from Iron Man 3. More pieces arrive, and they deploy to assemble what appears to be a combination of the Iron Lass Armor and Jade's God Tier outfit, with her space symbol serving as its power source. However, it still looks incomplete.Suddenly, the people all hear Karkat swear in the distance as the final piece rockets towards Jade, deploying into an armored skirt. The "Iron Witch" armor is now complete, and Jade raises her fist triumphantly, only to be interrupted by Karkat.Karkat wanders over, but stops cold when he spots Jade and blushes.Karkat slowly walks away, embarrassed. It strikes you as odd that he would be so timid aboutin particular.The group is silent for a moment before going back to their business. However, that is once again interrupted when Sollux discovers an unknown transmission from far, far away from the Incipisphere.Sollux fiddles with his computer for a few moments.Sollux fiddles a bit more, then presses a button, and out comes a broadcast that make Karkat, Feferi, and Terezi both do a spittake.More silence.Meanwhile, away from the main group, Equius and Nepeta have a conversation.Nepeta pounces on Equius, giving him a large morail hug. Then, she lets go. She waves goodbye and moves back to the rest of the group. Equius observes her from a distance, filled with uncertainty and trepidation.At the same timeFor a moment, all of the people gathered stop to look at the crucible of universes above the clouds. They can spot the many other Lands and Land clusters in their vicinity. The victims of a war whose outcome is uncertain, but threatens to claim all of their lives if they are not careful. But this war also brings destiny. More than just destiny, for all of Paradox Space, its constants and variables, are intertwined with this war, and through this war, its ethereal mechanisms will continue to advance. The Homestucks cannot tell what the point of this war is, but they do feel that sense of destiny that hangs over them. Good and evil. Justice and injustice. Freedom and Tyranny. Light and Darkness. Narrative and Conflict. All forces using this megasession as their Battlefield in their eternal battle for dominance. It is here that the Homestucks truly feel a profound connection with it. They know, that this session has many worlds, but they all share the same sky.One sky, one destiny.