Gennaro Hellmanns' mum wasn't at his wedding. Neither was his dad. Nobody was there, actually - except his husband, Brett Haythorpe, and their celebrant.

The hair stylist and cattle farmer from the Adelaide Hills eloped in New Zealand, at a seaside village called Mount Maunganui, to do what wasn't allowed in their home country.

Joe Murphy, left, and Nick Smith married in New York in July, but their Australian grandmothers couldn't make the journey. Credit:Redfield Photography / Supplied

"We literally did elope," says Mr Hellmanns. "It didn't feel strange or awkward, but it would have been nice to have them there."

This weekend marks 12 years since the Howard government amended the Marriage Act to exclude same-sex couples. In the years since, countless gay and lesbian couples have chosen to get hitched overseas. For many, the joy of that momentous day can be tarred by the absence of loved ones unable to join them.