DETROIT—Bragging to teammates and coaches on the sidelines, Rams cornerback Janoris Jenkins reportedly boasted on several occasions Sunday that he got laid during a 34-yard interception return against the Detroit Lions. “Right when I picked off the ball in the end zone, I noticed her glancing at me, so I headed up the field, made a couple of moves, and we were fucking like crazy by the 15-yard line,” said Jenkins, who informed the referees the woman was “a total, cock-starved nympho.” “It was pretty hot and heavy. This chick wanted me to bone her in all these weird positions, which is probably why I didn’t get all the way to the end zone.” When pressed by doubtful teammates, Jenkins finally admitted that he had only received a quick halfhearted hand job right as he was tackled.

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