Here’s something vaguely interesting: New Era, producer of caps, makes a lot of Yankees-branded caps. Like, a ton. And a ton that bare little-to-no resemblance to the cap the players wear on-field. Maybe you know this – perhaps you’ve seen Yankees caps that are light blue, or that are gray or black or purple or some other bold color. But that’s barely the tip of the iceberg. Which is a confusing metaphor to use here, because caps have very little to do with frozen water. But, nevertheless.

That’s barely the tip of the iceberg. There are, for instance, a ton of New Era Yankees-branded caps that have crazy patterns (plaid, striped, speckled) and crazy prints (cosmic, woodland, tri-color). Aside from the fact they have the Yankees logo slapped on the front, these have approximately zero to do with the Yankees.

And even that is barely the tip of the iceberg. Could I interest you in different materials? Leather, perhaps? Or maybe denim?

And even that is barely the tip of the iceberg. There are limited edition caps. There are caps only available in South Korea; caps only available in Japan.

A good number of these caps look truly, truly amazing. And I say this with about as much sincerity as it is possible to say something with. Believe me when I say the cosmic-print cap is the best Yankees cap ever produced – the team should just make that the official on-field cap right now, because why hold back any longer. But we’ll get to the good ones on Wednesday. And there’s a lot to look forward to there, because there are some pretty great looking New Era caps. Like, plus-plus caps. 80-grade caps. Maximum caps.

But let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Would it at all surprise you if I told you that while there are some pretty fantastic New Era caps, there are also some deliciously bad New Era caps?

Here are the forty worst New Era Yankees caps on sale now – forty things you could theoretically spend your hard-earned monies on, if you were so inclined.

#40 – All-Cement 59FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com

New Era promises this cap features "cement graphics on the crown and visor." Does it? Or did the designers actually just give a three-year-old a gray canvas and a Sharpie and tell them to go nuts?

Besides that, who's out there needing to represent cement on their clothing? There are no fans of cement. Or perhaps there is. Is there a cement lobby? Perhaps New Era is secretly marketing to Big Cement. Maybe cement lobbyists really dig caps that are made to (ostensibly) look like cement, and maybe there's a lot of money in that game.

I retract my criticisms, New Era, and I bow to your genius.

#39 – Neyyan Leopard 59FIFTY

From NewEraCapKorea.com

There are some good animal-print caps out there, but this isn't one of them. The design is too loud and the white logo gets lost against the pattern – if the logo had been gold, or perhaps some other shade of yellow or orange, the end result might have been a little better. Not the worst cap around, but probably the worst example of the animal print range you'll find on sale now.

#38 – Ameba Camo Neyyan Blue 59FIFTY

From NewEraCapKorea.com

It was a good idea, this cap. The blue, olive, and tan/gray color combo works nicely and, generally speaking, this is a pretty successful take on the whole idea of a camo pattern (which always looks hideous, as we will find shortly). But then they had to cover the whole thing in New Era logos. See the logos sprinkled all over the crown? What's up with that? And why? Nothing represents the brand better than an upside down logo buried in a olive camo pattern. A+ brand dissemination.

#37 – Mini Team Logo Neyyan Black 59FIFTY

From NewEraCapKorea.com

Why is your logo so small, cap?

Who out there looks at this and thinks "nailed it"?

#36 – All Flags 59FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com

I get the whole patriotism thing, but I sense even this might be a stretch. It's like somebody on the production line thrust their hand into a sack of miniature flags, grabbed a fistful, and started sprinkling them everywhere. They made it rain flags. Which is fine, but somebody else then looked at it and decided it would be acceptable to put this on sale.

Whatever. I bet you this has already sold tons.

#35 – Pop Tonal 59FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com – discontinued between me researching this and writing it, but you can probably still find it on clearance somewhere

Store attendant: "Hey there, can I help at all?" Greatest human being: "Yes, I'm looking for something that's a cross between a hat and a running shoe. Can you help at all?"

#34 – NEFS Basic 59FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com – discontinued between me researching this and writing it, but you can probably still find it on clearance somewhere

This takes the cement pattern seen in cap #40, restricts it to the visor, and combos it with a blue Yankees logo with red trim on white. Here, we're moved to pose two questions we could confront any of these forty caps with:

Why would anyone buy this?

Why would anyone wear this?

I guess I don't understand what precisely would cause someone to choose this over, say, the regular Yankees cap. Or the regular Yankees cap in a different color. If you want a plain white Yankees cap with a blue logo, you can buy that. But who looks at a plain white Yankees cap with a blue logo and thinks "no, that's not enough," and then turns to see this and thinks, "but that – plain white cap with blue logo and scribbles on the visor – that's exactly what I need"?

#33 – Visor Real Chains 59FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com

Tailored specifically to the small – some would say nonexistent – sector of society that's way into chains, this cap, to quote New Era's copy, contains "chain graphics on the visor." Boy does it ever. Listen, before this, chain lovers didn't have an outlet through which to express themselves. They were a marginalized, disenfranchised group. But this cap set those people free. It gave them a voice. They donned it, and in a loud a clear yelp they proclaimed: "I love chains."

Hit up these sweet, sweet chain graphics:

#32 – Snap-Dub 9FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com

This cap has 20-grade color coordination. For one, the blue is simultaneously too bright and too dark. It's like it sears through your eyes. It has too much pop; too much noise. You wouldn't wear that on your body, and so you shouldn't wear it on your head. And why would anyone want to lay a black logo on that? It's like the opposite of what that blue needs. It needs a light-colored logo to break up that blue; instead the black only deepens the blue, which looks real bad. I wouldn't combine those colors, and nor should you.

#31 – Team Merica 9FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com

What was the design brief for this cap?

I–

I just–

I guess what I'm trying to say is, how does one arrive at this? Was there, like, a checklist?

Make main color red to troll Yankees fans

Festoon front of cap with faux-American flag

Replace stars in flag with Yankees logo

I guess I also just don't get the purpose of replacing the stars in the flag with the Yankees logo. Are we saying that there's only one state now, Yankee Stadium? Would that make Randy Levine the President of the United States? Will we all be forced to have a portrait of his hair on our mantelpiece? Is this the dystopian future George Orwell warned of?

Did you see the name, by the way?

"Merica"

Oh, I'm sorry... my apologies: "Team Merica"

#30 – Women's Derek Jeter 9TWENTY

From MLB Shop

Do not, under any circumstances, wear this cap.

#29 – Studpop 59FIFTY

From Culture Kings

"We heard you like metal sticking out of things, so we made you this cap."

#28 – Bufdog 59FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com – discontinued between me researching this and writing it, but you can probably still find it on clearance somewhere

There are many issues facing America that candidates for the Presidential nomination are likely to raise during election season, but the one I'm most looking forward to them addressing is the tsunami of horrible, horrible caps threatening our nation's infrastructure, our homes, and, in a very real sense, our lives. I've reached out to the Bernie Sanders and Marco Rubio camps for comment on this cap in particular, which appears to be a cross between a Catholic school's uniform and a huskie. Will let you know when I hear back.

#27 – 2 Tone GO Custom 59FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com – discontinued between me researching this and writing it, but you can probably still find it on clearance somewhere, and other color combinations are still on sale

For the Oakland Athletics fan that wants to wear their team colors (or something kinda close to their team colors) but doesn't actually want to represent their team, there's this thing: a color combination about as far away from official Yankees team colors as is possible.

#26 – Popped Out Mesher 9FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com – discontinued between me researching this and writing it, but you can probably still find it on clearance somewhere

I apologize. The above cap isn't about as far away from official Yankees team colors as is possible. I peddled you a gross inaccuracy. Actually, this cap is about as far away from official Yankees team colors as is possible.

Last Thursday I printed out an image of this cap, tacked it to a wall, and sat cross-legged in front of the wall staring at the image. And as I stared I tried to imagine the circumstances under which someone would want to wear this cap. Six-and-a-half hours later I still didn't have an answer. I don't have one now either.

This cap... what gives?

#25 – Ton-Wool 59FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com

I struggle to understand why we're doing all-red caps for this team, but taking it on its merits, yes, this is a pleasant shade of scarlet. But what's up with giving the logo the same color? Does it look weird to you or is it just me? It's like they're trying to camouflage the logo or something. I just don't think it would ever look good, and it probably looks worse in real life than it does here.

#24 – Melt Cyber Yellow Kids 59FIFTY

From On Spotz

Continuing the trend of all things containing the word "cyber" being bad, this is the only the second-greatest piece of apparel to come out of Japan, failing to beat out former Prime Minister Yukio Hatoyama's shirt.

Which leads me to wonder: why isn't there a Yankees cap that looks like that shirt?

#23 – Flag Front 9FIFTY

From MLB Shop

It's as if, in some kind of elaborate troll move, they took the idea behind the red cap above, said "let's troll Matthew," and issued this marvel unto us, the unsuspecting and totally unwilling masses. This is a charcoal monstrosity. There exist colors other than black, New Era. Black element on black element on black element does not look good. In fact, under no circumstances did this cap ever look good, which is why we can only conclude one of two things:

It is the world's most branded troll, or It is a sign of the coming collapse of human society.

#22 – Pattern'd Up Dog Ear 59FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com

There are many issues facing America that candidates for the Presidential nomination are likely to raise during election season, but the one I'm most looking forward to them addressing is that someone looked at the basic idea behind the #28 cap above, decided it would be a good idea to make a green version of that, put some kind of leaf pattern on the dogear flaps (because if there's one thing the Yankees are associated with it's leaves), and called it "Pattern'd Up."

#21 – Pot O Gold 59FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com – discontinued between me researching this and writing it, but you can probably still find it on clearance somewhere

If you look at this cap long enough, it actually starts to look pretty rad. Look away lest you become like me and spend a few hours trying to find somewhere online that still has them in stock.

#20 – Viza Hook 9FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com

This repeats the sins of #23 above, but does it with a multi-color pattern on the visor. The pattern is pretty funky looking by itself, and might have actually made for an interesting cap if the whole thing was covered in it, but it really doesn't match against the black crown. Chalk this one up as an unfortunate experiment, but I'd love to see that pattern used elsewhere.

#19 – Heart Black 59FIFTY

From On Spotz

There's something to this idea – an 'I Heart New York' type cap, that is – and I figure there's a way to do it for it to be inoffensive (if still totally mediocre). This attempt doesn't manage that; it's just lifeless and soulless, as if they know slapping a heart next to anything New York-related will move product. And it probably does! But that doesn't mean it looks good, and this one very much looks bad.

#18 – Chocolate Print Kids 59FIFTY

From On Spotz

HEY KID YOU LIKE THE YANKEES AND YOU LIKE CHOCOLATE

WEAR THIS CAP

#17 – Fruits Print Kids 59FIFTY

From On Spotz

HEY KID YOU LIKE THE YANKEES AND YOU LIKE FRUIT SALAD

WEAR THIS CAP

(Who am I kidding, I'd totally wear both of those)

#16 – Black 59FIFTY

From On Spotz

And so we make our first foray into the world of camouflage apparel (not counting #38, which takes a bit of artistic license with the idea). Buckle up, because there's a ton more to come. There's no telling what the motivation behind it is – I imagine it sells given there's so much of it, and yet I feel like I never come across anyone wearing these. Nor do I understand what type of person would be in the market for a cap with the Yankees logo rendered in a camo pattern. This one's for when Brian Cashman forms his own militia, I suppose.

#15 – Basic White on White 59FIFTY

From MLB Shop

We all understand and appreciate the concept behind this, but the reality is that all-white apparel like this rarely (if ever) looks good. The end result, as in this case, is something that looks like it's part of a nurse's or a medical orderly's outfit. I feel like nurses/orderlies often wear all-white sneakers, and this reminds me of that.

Also, a bright white tone will often make things appear bigger than they actually are, so wearing this may accidentally give you John Travolta syndrome, where suddenly you've got a giant head. It's not the greatest look.

#14 – Corduroy Fashion Fitted Chocolate 59FIFTY

From Culture Kings

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

This is the shrug emoji of caps. It flouts all rules of commonsense and decency.

We thought we'd successfully killed off corduroy in the 90s, but we were wrong. Look at this crime against humanity.

For the middle-aged white man who wants to recline at the Sunday ballgame, best matched with inexplicably baggy straight-cut jeans and a polo shirt/hoody combo, with the colors clashing.

If chocolate isn't quite your mode, please interest yourself in the following variations:

#13 – Pop Crackle 59FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com – discontinued between me researching this and writing it, but you can probably still find it on clearance somewhere

What we must realize, and indeed come to terms with, is that somebody looked at that scratchy, low-res red and white pattern, decided to stick it on the regular dark navy blue Yankees cap, and then decided to put it on sale.

#12 – Total Logo Redux 59FIFTY

From On Spotz

INT. CAP DESIGN STUDIO - AFTERNOON. EXECUTIVE, in a mood, kicks down the DESIGN STUDIO door and bursts through. ARTISTS swivel in their chairs, reeling in shock. EXECUTIVE:

Design me a cap with every single Yankees logo on it! A pause while the ARTISTS take in this absurd request, then the ARTISTS return to their computers and get to work.

#11 – Boa Fleece Beige 59FIFTY

From On Spotz

Store attendant: "Hey there, can I help at all?" Greatest human being: "Yes, I'm back. I'm looking for something that's a cross between a hat and a poodle. Can you help at all?"

#10 – Camo Pop Leopard Vize 59FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com

Witness now as we cross the boundary into the next level of bad caps. This one is our first full-crown camo pattern. It combines a truly weird leopard print on the visor with a neon yellow logo. It's unclear how they decided to match these elements together – pretty sure they just drew three different options out of a hat – but I will say I have kind of warmed to this cap... in a super kitschy way, but still.

#9 – Boafleece Neyyan 59FIFTY

From NewEraCapKorea.com

"Please make the Cookie Monster into a hat."

#8 – Lil Big Hearts 59FIFTY

From On Spotz

I just don't know what this is, though. Let's make the Yankees logo... out of miniature hearts? And let's do it off-center and giant-sized?

But... like... why?

#7 – My City 59FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com

At first I thought this might be one of those throwback caps, like this was the original Yankees logo or something. But then I looked through a catalog of old uniforms and found that – unless I'm just grossly mistaken – this is no throwback logo. No, they just decided to straight up type "NY" in Times New Roman on the front of a cap and then sell it.

This is the worst cap. Except it's not, because there are six more to come.

#6 – Classic Tonal GO Custom 59FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com – discontinued between me researching this and writing it, but you can probably still find it on clearance somewhere

I'm confused as to why they would call a cap "Classic" and then proceed to color it orange. After an exhaustive search through the archives, it turns out the Yankees have never worn orange. Still, though, it's a "classic."

This is also the worst orange. It's too bright, and it doesn't look great paired with that silver they're using for the primary color on the logo. Probably a bad pick, this one.

#5 – Camo Swirl 59FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com – discontinued between me researching this and writing it, but you can probably still find it on clearance somewhere

Tailored for the lucrative hunter-hippy crossover demographic, dig on this: an oversized tie-dye patterned Yankees logo on a camo body. This is, in fact, the first time those two designs have ever intersected. Tragically, it appears this cap is no longer available – I can only imagine it flew off the shelves at a frightening pace.

#4 – The Under Woodland 59FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com

This cap represents what we assume must be the biggest clashing color combination in the history of apparel. As if the phenomenon of camouflage patterns wasn't baffling enough – are there really a lot of survivalists sheltering in the wild, or hunters out tracking and killing animals, that feel the need to represent the Yankees in the woods? – we now have the pattern adorned with a garish red Yankees logo, which a) stands out like a sore thumb against the camo, and b) looks absolutely terrible.

Then again, making the logo blue doesn't help a ton either:

Nope, still looks heinous.

#3 – Unservisor Brooklyn Black 59FIFTY

From On Spotz

"We put a bunch of colors on a dart board, then threw eleven darts. Two hit but fell out, and one missed. We took the eight that stuck and the colors they landed on and made them into a hat. "It's the best the Yankees logo has ever looked, in our opinion." Yankees first baseman Mark Teixeira was presented with the cap in front of a frenzied media pack. "Toppest logo!" he said, holding the cap up for the cameras while forcing a grin.

#2 – Color Woodland 59FIFTY

From NewEraCap.com

They dug deep to find a color combination that would look worse than red-logo-on-camo, and it took a long time to find it, but damn if they didn't come back with the gold. This would officially be the worst cap on sale, if not for...

#1 – Corduroy Snapback Black 9FIFTY

From On Spotz

Corduroy

Camo pattern

Drab colors

Inexplicable use of road logo

THIS CAP CONTAINS LITERALLY EVERYTHING THAT IS BAD.

Both a masterpiece and the illegitimate child of two cap demons, this is the monstrosity to end all monstrosities. This cap should never have been conceived, and all copies of it should summarily be rounded up and destroyed, much as if they were recalling a toy covered in lead paint.

I am at once mortified and thankful that I lived to see this.

As much fun as we had at the expense of the caps here, New Era is responsible for some properly wicked caps too. Check back in with us on Wednesday as we count down our favorite ones. Spoilers: paisley patterns and cosmic prints abound!