Nike rhymes with "bike", doesn't it? Well, no, actually it rhymes with "spiky". Nike chairman Philip Knight has confirmed the correct way to pronounce the brand's name, after two men sent him a letter asking him to circle either "Ni-ke" or "Ni-key" and answer what they called "one of life's big unanswered questions".

To celebrate, here's a definitive guide to the pronunciation (not pro-noun-ciation!) of some other commonly mispronounced brand names.

Hermès

Nightmare: another Greek deity turned global brand. Obvious, isn't it? You take "her", add "me", and put an "s" on the end. Put them together and what have you got? "Her-mees". Mais non, non, non! In fact, one drops the "h", and sounds the "e" as in "dress". Plus you need to sound the s more like a z: "Ermez".

Givenchy

How about this? "Given" (noun or adjective or – if you prefer – the Irish goalkeeper), plus "Chi" (as in tai chi). "Given-chi". Mais non, again. Rather, one softens the "g", sounds the second syllable as in "on" and softens the "chi" to "shi". Ji-von-shee. How do we know? Givenchy's glum-sounding footsoldiers say it thus in ads for their high-end scents.

Porsche

Does this sound like the Shakespearean heroine (Portia) or like that thing that keeps the rain off (porch)? More like the former – it definitely has two syllables, and their official spokespeople confirm as much in their stupendously boring promotional videos.

Adidas

Long "i" or short? Wars have been fought over less. Run DMC adjudicated on this vexed issue years ago in their stirring if hagiographic hip-hop paean to their footwear of choice. "A-deee-das," they sang. But, with respect, what do Run DMC know? This side of the pond, we wear trainers, not sneakers, and keep that "i" nice and short. Who's right? There is no Nike-like ruling on the pronunciation of Adidas.

Saucony

Another trainer brand with a confusing name? You'd better believe it. Take a female pig, the thing you put ice cream in and the kind of appreciative noise Wallace makes when he's had some fine Wensleydale cheese. Put them together: "Sow-cone-ee". Nope. It's more like "sock-a-nee", say Saucony's people in their eye-wateringly tedious promo films. That sounds unprepossessing and pretty stupid, but no more so than "Sih-NECK-doh-kee", which is how you should say synecdoche should the occasion arise. Which it won't.

Audi

Remember American war hero and actor Audie Murphy? Me neither, but his first name was pronounced "Or-dee", which – quite possibly – has led to confusion about the pronunciation of the uninteresting motor car company. It's not pronounced "Or-dee", but "Ow-dee" – imagine you're a cowboy who drops his aitches if that's any help. Which it probably isn't.

Yves Saint Laurent

Another day, another hard-to-pronounce French couture brand. You don't get this sort of problem with Paul Smith. Here's how to say it: drop all the terminal letters and say the first syllable like the woman who got banished with Adam from the Garden of Eden. Got it? "Eve san law-ron" (but don't sound either "n" too strongly). There's also this fun footage of a Frenchman making an oreille de cochon of trying to teaching English speakers how to say Yves Saint Laurent. As he suggests, you could always just say YSL.

Moët et Chandon

The "t" in Moët, somewhat counterintuitively, is sounded. The result should sound like "Mwet eh Shan-don" rather than "Mway e Shan-don". Apparently one says it this way because Monsieur Moët was of Dutch-German origin. The same doesn't apply with rival champagne brand Veuve Clicquot: don't sound the terminal "t" like a loser. Don't look at me like that – I don't make the rules.

Hope that helps. Next time on Pronunciation Today: does "scone" rhyme with "on" or "own"?

• This article was first amended 3 June 2014 to remove a section on Kurt Geiger, which had been included in error. It was further amended on 4 June to remove references that suggested Wallace, one half of the animated duo Wallace and Gromit, comes from Yorkshire when he is, in fact,a Lancastrian according to the story.

• This article was again amended again on 9 June 2014 to reinstate the name of Wallace's favourite cheese. Although Wallace lives in Lancashire, he is partial to Yorkshire's Wensleydale cheese.