I’m a young woman. I have goals. Big goals, but that doesn’t mean I should declare myself as a feminist.

I am very thankful that women fought to give me the right to vote today. I am very thankful that women fought for the right I have when it comes to my body and the choices I make for it. I am overall thankful. But that doesn’t mean I need to add “feminist” to my list of things that define me.

Why? Well, it’s the 21st century. Equality is there and women have taken advantage of it. We have women in the White House, we have women leading countries, we have women saving lives, yet there are some that still feel we are not equal. I can’t argue the pay issue, because the broad range of jobs out there is hard to pinpoint, but to me feminism is more than just pay equality. I’m in college, so I’ve see many protests on many topics from declared feminists. For a girl that is very opinionated, I am all for people speaking their minds, but the things I’ve seen have upset me.

Yes, there are extremists in all aspects in life. I get that. But when I’m walking around campus and I’m approached by a feminist group because I’m a girl, and I tell them I’m not a feminist, they start spewing some really awful things to me. All because I refuse to march around and yell about how badly I’m treated, when I’m really not treated badly. I’m actually being treated really great, and I’m not going to jump on a bandwagon because girls feel that I should based on my gender. Girls need to stick together yes, but on topics like shaming and Photoshopping in the media. NOT tearing each other down because one feels that all women should be feminists, and one doesn’t. Here’s a shocker, everyone has different opinions, and yelling them at someone who feels differently doesn’t do anything but show how weak you are.

I’m a believer that, if you truly believe in something, you don’t have to resort to violence and pettiness to gain followers. If you stand for a cause, and you’re kind about it and inform people without ridicule, you’ll do wonders. So naturally, I drift away from groups who feel the need to attack all forms of people, especially the women who feel the need to have a different outlook on it.

I’m also getting negative feedback from my male peers as well. Because I’m a young woman with a goal and a list of things I want to do, I’m automatically a feminist. I addressed this same concern in another post I’ve written called, “I’m 21 and I’ve Never Been in Love, So What?” Turning away a guy for a date because I’m stressed about school, or because I just don’t want to go out, I’m a “man hater.” This is completely ludicrous and it really needs to stop.

On the flip side though, I know a lot of women who call themselves feminist that are the most awesome people ever. Like the opinion thing, there are other people in the extremes. Not all feminists are non-shaving, bra burning, man haters. Most only declare the title because they identify with that group more than any other.

So guys please, if you come across a woman with a huge endeavor and refuses to date you, don’t call her a feminist. And ladies, if you are a feminist and you meet a lady like yourself, don’t continue to ask her why she doesn’t declare herself like you do. Please stop asking why one is not a feminist.