I don’t know a lot about the rest of the world, because by God I’m an American. I know as much as I need to know about all those other countries, which consists of one thing and one thing only: They’re not us. And thank goodness for that.

But one thing I do know is that if I moved to Mexico or Canada or France or England or any of those other, lesser countries, I’d be expected to obey their local laws. I wouldn’t be exempt just because my feelings might get hurt. If I didn’t comply, those countries would kick me the hell out. They’d probably even send me off with a few good “Yankee” zingers for good measure. And I’d deserve it.

If I choose to live in another country, I need to follow that country’s rules. That’s part of the deal. It’s just common sense.

For some reason, though, that reasoning doesn’t apply to people from other countries who come to the United States. Apparently, those folks don’t need to obey the same laws as the rest of us. They’re above all that.

“People aren’t illegal,” we’re told, as though “illegal immigrant” were an epithet instead of a completely accurate description. We’re supposed to call them “undocumented” instead, or at least until that euphemism becomes a pejorative as well. Then, I dunno, I guess they’ll be “differently legal” or “citizenship-challenged” or something. Anything to dodge the issue. Anything to avoid speaking the plain truth.

The whole process also involves “Dreamers” drawing attention to themselves for breaking the law and/or advocating lawbreaking. Witness the following public temper tantrum, as reported by Hailey Branson-Potts and Cindy Carcamo at the L.A. Times:

Beneficiaries of the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals program and their allies temporarily blocked a vehicle entrance to Disneyland on Monday, just as the Senate reached an agreement to end the government shutdown brought on in part by a stalemate over the young immigrants’ future.

The DACA recipients, commonly called Dreamers, stood in a crosswalk at South Harbor Boulevard around 10 a.m. and blocked buses from entering the Anaheim theme park. The 15 protesters were quickly removed by law enforcement officers and were relocated to a sidewalk, where they held signs and chanted, “No dream! No deal!”

That makes sense, doesn’t it? What better way to win people over to your cause than to ruin their family vacations? A guy works all year to take his kids to see Mickey Mouse, and then he can’t get in because a bunch of people want to tell him how his tax dollars should be spent. They’re taking advantage of his hospitality already just by being here, so why not really piss him off?

Meanwhile, on the other coast:

Chuck Schumer shut down the government for three days, and now all he’s got to show for it is a bunch of his own people jumping up and down outside his house yelling at him. I don’t know much about politics, but I know what I like!

At the same time all this is going on, we’re also being told that America stinks and everybody else hates us. According to US News & World Report, we’re now only the eighth-best country in the world, down from #7 last year. What’s the best country in the world? Switzerland. Okay, so if you don’t like where you live now, move to Switzerland. We’re not stopping you. Their immigration laws might be a problem, but you can just block their amusement parks and protest outside their leaders’ houses.

Look, I get why people are upset about this. If somebody has lived in America for a long time and started a family and made a life, it’s sad to see it broken apart. If you’re a kid and your parents broke the law to come here, that’s not your fault. But either laws apply to everybody or they don’t. If they don’t, they’re not really laws.

Oh wait, I forgot: Everything I just said is racist. If you agree with any of it, you’re a racist. Shut up and keep paying your taxes, racist.