As he plays with his young son, Sydney Swans captain Josh Kennedy wants him to know one thing above all else — strong and silent is not a healthy way for men to live.

Key points: Australian men report being trapped by traditional ideas of what it is to be a man

Australian men report being trapped by traditional ideas of what it is to be a man New research shows men who believe strongly in those ideals of manhood "are more likely to use violence"

New research shows men who believe strongly in those ideals of manhood "are more likely to use violence" Thought leaders including Sydney Swans captain Josh Kennedy are encouraging men be themselves, free of social pressures

"The number one thing is to have someone you can talk to," Kennedy said.

Kennedy was named as the inaugural ambassador for The Men's Project, a program run by Jesuit Social Services to help boys and young men learn to handle the pressure to act according to traditional ideals of manhood.

"What the Men's Project is trying to achieve is to allow people to be themselves, and not feeling that they have to be any which way," Kennedy said.

"It's just a matter [of] respecting everyone for who they are."

From perceptions about toughness, to aggression, and gender relations, the project aims to help individuals recognise they do not have to conform to particular ideals of what it means to be a 'real man'.

"The perceptions need to change," Kennedy said.

"If they don't feel comfortable acting in a certain way but do it because they think that's how you should act … you want to change that. That's not right."

Dealing with those pressures and not talking about them can also be damaging to men's mental health, something Kennedy says he saw throughout his football career.

"Certainly there would be guys that would struggle with showing vulnerability," he said.

"Guys that would struggle with opening up and talking about issues that they've got in their life. And you can see the effect that it has on them."

Australian men living in the 'man box': study

Sydney Swans captain Josh Kennedy with his son Emilio and wife Ana. ( ABC News: Matthew Abbott )

The degree to which young men feel pressured to adopt traditional ideals of manhood has been revealed in a new study commissioned by Jesuit Social Services.

The research uses an analytical survey called the "the man box" to ask young men a series of questions, exploring their attitudes and behaviours towards a range of topics, including:

Sydney Swans captain Josh Kennedy said perceptions around the idea of what it means to be a "real man" needed to change. ( ABC News: Matthew Abbott )

Gender norms

Gender norms Health and wellbeing

Health and wellbeing Physical appearance

Physical appearance Relationships

Relationships Risk taking

Risk taking Violence

Violence Bystander behaviour

The survey was developed by an international research body and conducted in the United States, the United Kingdom and in Mexico.

Jesuit Social Services gained access to the survey and used it to conduct the first nationwide study of what Australians think about manhood, questioning 1,000 young men aged 18 to 30.

It found two-thirds of young men said they had been told a "real man" behaved in a certain way since they were a boy.

"This survey shows us traditional ideals of manhood in Australia are alive and well," co-author Dr Michael Flood said.

"Young men still see that they're told by society that men must be tough, men must be stoic, men must respond to challenges with violence."

The study asked young men about messages they were receiving across the seven broad categories, including questions around sexuality, aggression and control.

The more young men agreed with traditional ideals of how men should behave, the worse the outcomes.

According to the study, those men who were trapped inside the 'man box', or the set of traditional ideas of what is it to be a man, were more likely to feel depressed and have suicidal thoughts.

"We also know young men who believe more strongly in those ideals of manhood are more likely to use violence themselves," Dr Flood said.

"The man box does harm. Not only for the young men themselves, but for the women and men around them."

Young men in Australia report feeling trapped by a series of ideas about what it is to be a man and that is affecting their mental health. ( ABC News: Matthew Abbott )

Should a man be his family's primary breadwinner?

The results are startling. Of all men who believed in traditional ideals — or said they were living inside the 'man box' —, 44 per cent reported thoughts of suicide in the preceding two weeks.

Other results:

72 per cent said they felt depressed

72 per cent said they felt depressed 83 per cent had little interest or pleasure in doing things.

There are also troubling responses about how these men relate to themselves and to women, including:

47 per cent said they had perpetrated physical bullying in the previous month

47 per cent said they had perpetrated physical bullying in the previous month 46 per cent said they had made sexual comments to a woman they did not know

Overall, large numbers agreed with attitudes linked to controlling behaviour of women, including:

20 per cent said men should use violence to get respect if necessary

20 per cent said men should use violence to get respect if necessary 35 per cent agreed men should be the family's primary bread winner

35 per cent agreed men should be the family's primary bread winner 37 per cent said a man had the right to know where his girlfriend or wife was at all times.

In the 'man box' study, two thirds of young men said they had been told a 'real man' behaved a certain way. ( ABC News: Matthew Abbott )

Jesuit Social Services chief Julie Edwards said the study reaffirmed the importance of work that tried to change behaviour that could lead to violence and abuse by men.

"We work with people who are perpetrating sexual violence and other serious violent behaviours," she said.

"We saw that there was a real need to intervene earlier, to put them on a pathway that was less destructive to women, children, and the broader community, but also to themselves."

Workshops are a big part of the effort to help young men identify the pressures of conforming to traditional ideals of manhood.

'The relationships we were in with women, it wasn't right'

Paddy Malone moved into a residence hall on a university campus and said the environment had "very, very little respect". ( ABC News: Norman Hermant )

In Melbourne, school teachers, sports club instructors, and scoutmasters were among those who recently attended a workshop to learn counselling techniques.

For one of the participants, feeling trapped by traditional ideals of what it meant to be a man felt familiar. It was a big part of the footy club James Folino grew up in.

"There was a big culture about 'this is a manly club, and this is what we do'," he said.

"I had a friendship group … and the relationships that we were in with women, it wasn't right."

Mr Folino is now in his mid-thirties and believes he can put what he learns to good use because he knows the territory.

"I think there were certain things that were done that maybe was putting me towards the man box," he said.

What is the 'man box'? It's an analytical tool — or a survey — that asks men a series of questions to gauge where they stand on a number of social issues and to what degree they feel pressure to conform to society's traditional ideas of what it means to be a 'real man'. Respondents are asked how much they agree or disagree with a series of statements, including: "A guy who doesn't fight back when other push him around is weak"

"A guy who doesn't fight back when other push him around is weak" "A guy who spends lots of time on his looks isn't very manly"

"A guy who spends lots of time on his looks isn't very manly" "Men should really be the ones to bring money home to provide for their families, not women"

"Men should really be the ones to bring money home to provide for their families, not women" "A 'real man' should have as many sexual partners as he can"

"A 'real man' should have as many sexual partners as he can" "Men should use violence to get respect if necessary"

"Men should use violence to get respect if necessary" "If a guy has a girlfriend or wife, he deserves to know where she is all the time" (The Man Box: A study on being a young man in Australia)

University student Paddy Malone, 23, is also keen to help men break free from the traditional ideals of what it means to be a man.

A few years ago, he moved into a residence hall on campus and some of the attitudes of men towards women disturbed him.

"One of the key themes there was just very, very little respect, and there was elements of control there, yeah, which was really disheartening to see," he said.

He volunteers with a group that helps boys and young men deal with the pressure.

"It's pretty clear that … absolutely nobody wins from it," he said. "Not the men. And not the people in relationships either."

The 'man box' study did reveal some changes in attitudes away from traditional masculine ideals.

"Some things have shifted," Dr Flood said.

"Young men these days are less likely to think that to be a real man is to avoid any contact with gay men, to not be a father, to not be involved in the care of kids."

But when it came to attitudes about controlling behaviour, harassment, and violence, Dr Flood said the study showed the importance of redefining what it means to be a man.

"We need to have conversations among young men so [they] … themselves are more aware of the harms of blindly conforming to the kind of scripts about how to be a man that they've been fed."