You don't have to read this essay to know whether you'll like it. Just go online and assess how provocative it is by the number of comments at the bottom of the web version. (If you're already reading the web version, done and done.) To find out whether it has gone viral, check how many people have hit the little thumbs-up, or tweeted about it, or liked it on Facebook, or dug it on Digg. These increasingly ubiquitous mechanisms of assessment have some real advantages: In this case, you could save 10 minutes' reading time. Unfortunately, life is also getting a little ruined in the process.

A funny thing has quietly accompanied our era's eye-gouging proliferation of information, and by funny I mean not very funny. For every ocean of new data we generate each hour—videos, blog posts, VRBO listings, MP3s, ebooks, tweets—an attendant ocean's worth of reviewage follows. The Internet-begotten abundance of absolutely everything has given rise to a parallel universe of stars, rankings, most-recommended lists, and other valuations designed to help us sort the wheat from all the chaff we're drowning in. I've never been to Massimo's pizzeria in Princeton, New Jersey, but thanks to the Yelpers I can already describe the personality of Big Vince, a man I've never met. (And why would I want to? He's surly and drums his fingers while you order, apparently.) Everything exists to be charted and evaluated, and the charts and evaluations themselves grow more baroque by the day. Was this review helpful to you? We even review our reviews.

Technoculture critic and former Wired contributor Erik Davis is concerned about the proliferation of reviews, too. "Our culture is afflicted with knowingness," he says. "We exalt in being able to know as much as possible. And that's great on many levels. But we're forgetting the pleasures of not knowing. I'm no Luddite, but we've started replacing actual experience with someone else's already digested knowledge."

Of course, Yelpification of the universe is so thorough as to be invisible. I scarcely blinked the other day when, after a Skype chat with my mother, I was asked to rate the call. (I assumed they were talking about connection quality, but if they want to hear about how Mom still pronounces it noo-cu-lar, I'm happy to share.) That same afternoon, the UPS guy delivered a guitar stand I'd ordered. Even before I could weigh in on the product, or on the seller's expeditiousness, I was presented with a third assessment opportunity. It was emblazoned on the cardboard box: "Rate this packaging."

Our ever more sophisticated arsenal of stars and thumbs will eventually serve to curtail serendipity, adventure, and idiotic floundering. But more immediate is the simple problem of contamination. When the voices of hundreds of strangers, or even just three shrill ones, enter our heads, a tiny but vital part of ourselves is diminished. Suddenly we're breached, denied the pleasure of articulating our own judgment on this professor, or that meal, or this city. It's a fundamental bit of humanness to discover, say, the Velvet Underground for the first time—to rifle through that box of records at 13 and to reach an unbiased and wholly personal verdict on those strange sounds. Is it pretty? Ugly? Why are they out of tune?

There's an essential freedom in being alone with one's thoughts, oblivious to and unpolluted by anyone else's. Diminish that aloneness and we start to doubt our own perspective. Do I really think Blue Bottle coffee is that great? Or Blazing Saddles that funny? Do I really not like that pizza place because it isn't authentic New York-style? Sure, it's entirely possible to arrive at one's own opinion amidst a cacophony of others. But it's also possible to bend, unknowingly and imperceptibly, toward a position not naturally our own.

Life demands assessment. Indeed, it's often improved by hearing from the Roger Eberts of the world (or whoever the equivalent is in the Review Your Purchases genre). But we have to watch how much outside assessment we let in. There's something heartbreaking about surrendering to strangers the delicate moment of giving order to the world. In those instances when we bring our cognitive reasoning to bear on our surroundings, when we aim our singularly human powers of evaluation at a piece of art or a fellow person, it's a fundamental expression of the self. There are wonderfully democratic and empowering things about an Internet full of anonymous voices. But when those opinions replace our own blundering around for truth, we're in trouble. Too much charting becomes an unnecessary handrail, too many floodlights along the dark path. I give that only two out of five stars.

Chris Colin (chris@chriscolin.com) is the author of What Really Happened to the Class of '93 and a frequent New York Times contributor.