Dear Willie:

The fact that I searched for advice online is a sign that I need desperate help.

I am a 25-year-old who had a boyfriend for two years that I loved with all my heart. He cheated on me and this led to our breakup. Although he cheated I never stopped loving him. My pride just would not allow myself to take him back.

I met someone new and we started dating and he is now my boyfriend of also two years. He is everything I could ask for in a man. Early in our relationship my ex kept trying to come back into my life. I let him. We’ve been having sex at least once or twice a month since we broke up two and a half years ago.

My current boyfriend is aware that I’ve cheated. I’ve broken his heart many times. He faithfully remains by my side. I feel like an animal with no self-control. I need serious help. I love my current boyfriend. He is a great guy. He’s perfect, in fact, maybe too good for me. I can’t stop seeing my ex though I crave him. I can’t go a day without thinking of him.

I recently got pregnant and I am not even sure who the father was, if it was my ex or my boyfriends so I decided to avoid the situation and I didn’t keep the baby, especially because I am still in school and I am financially unstable.

I am heartbroken from that loss. I am a mess. I am a lost soul seeking help. I want to stop any form of communication with my ex so that I can be happy with my boyfriend who I know loves me. How do I stop the urge? I am miserably disappointed in the actions I’ve made and I want to change.

Sincerely,

Lost

Dear Lost:

You’re indeed an animal that is out of control. You said it yourself.

I am wondering who your current boyfriend is. He needs a dose of reality juice and a new brain. He is foolish to be wasting his time with you. He deserves way better. You keep cheating on the poor guy and calling it love?

Miss Lost, I recommend that you stop hurting your current boyfriend. Leave him alone for God’s sake. If you do nothing else, do that.

As for your ex, he must be feeling like a star boy. He is getting free milk. He would also be a fool to want you back and a jack—to take you back.

At your age I am very disappointed that you’re not being more mature about the situation. I know people make mistake but this is no longer a mistake. This is a continuous, deliberate sick act.

You’re not ready for a serious relationship with anyone. You need to leave your current boyfriend. If you want to continue having sex with either, it is up to you. But stop fooling the poor men. You’re only obsessed with the good sex you’re getting from your ex.

Stay single until you grow up. Like so many people out there, you obviously do not know what’s good for you. A lot of women would love to get a boyfriend like yours. Unfortunately, many women complain that there are not many good men out there but when they get one, they act the fool and make a whore of themselves.

I am sorry but I have no sympathy for you. Who I have sympathy for is your boyfriend.

Become single, focus on your school, be more productive, cut ties with your ex, leave your current boyfriend alone because you do not love him, and become a real lady.

Willie

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