Probably London’s cutest cat

What’s it like being the cutest cat in a 10-mile radius? Metro catches up with three-month-old Polly Ninan, who lives with her human in North London, to find out what a typical day entails when you’re this outrageously adorable.

‘I usually get up around 4am. I’m an early riser – you have to be in this line of work. If I’m not awake before my human is, I can’t paw endearingly at his eyelids hours before his alarm is due to go off.’

My human gets to wake up to this every day

‘Breakfast is at 7 and can really take it out of me, so I often head back to bed afterwards. I’ve got a special bed just for me, but I find the cutest kind of sleep is one executed on the duvet.’

Human duvets are my favourite things after prawns

‘I tend to catch up with my correspondence in the mornings. I was on Facebook for a while, but didn’t find the interface very user-intuitive, so I’m back on email. Maybe it’s old-fashioned, but I guess I’m just an old-fashioned kind of gal.’


Typing emails makes me sleepy

‘People often think being cute is just about lazing around and purring a lot, but there’s so much more to it than that. A lot of what I do involves running and jumping. There’s this feather on a stick that sometimes flies around the living room. I don’t know how it gets there, but I do know I look sweet as hell when I chase it.’

The feather is wily, but I always pin it down eventually

‘My life on a day-to-day basis tends to be quite varied, but one thing I can count on is having visitors. Typically, my pool-like eyes and helpless meow attract two to three visitors a day. They mostly want cuddles, but many want me to chase a laser pen or eat bits of their sandwiches, too.’

I perform hugs and tricks for my many visitors

‘Frequent personal grooming is an absolute must if you want to stay looking good and although I can do it wherever I want, I get the best reaction when I sit in the human bath.’

Keeping clean is an integral part of being cute

‘Looking like this is definitely a blessing, but it’s also a curse. I spend all my time indoors because I’m a housecat. Imagine if I were to leave the house and be exposed to the mean streets of Islington? I wouldn’t stand a chance with a face as cute as this. I guess I would like to go outside someday, as I know London has a lot to offer. Tom Aikens’ new place is meant to be good.’

I am a housecat

‘I have a lateish lunch around 2pm, because I’m a big advocate of the Mediterranean lifestyle. I try to stick to three meals a day, but like all of us, I do give in to the occasional snack. I’ve got my own food bowl on the floor and I use that most of the time, but I always think I look cuter when I sit at the kitchen table.’

I am rarely served lunch at the table, but I live in hope

‘When I get a bit of time to myself, I like to explore. The reasons for this are twofold: firstly, I have a genuinely curious mind (that’s also why I’m currently reading Heidegger’s Being and Time). And secondly, I’ve come to realise that poking my head out of things I’m exploring is irresistibly cute.’

Exploration is terribly cute

‘Because we moved house recently, there are a few boxes around the place and it is sometimes necessary to defend them; mostly from lasers. Defending boxes probably takes up between 20 and 30 minutes of my average day.’

Here is a box I defended recently

‘I allow myself a moment out every now and again, just to contemplate life a bit. I try not to dwell on things too much though, because I’m prone to introspectiveness and have been told that isn’t cute.’

This is me when I realised that existence precedes essence

‘For me, the evenings are a chance to wind down. I recently invested in an iPad mini and I absolutely love it. I did find the old iPads a little cumbersome.’

I love cat game apps and also Tinder

‘Bedtime is around 11pm and I’m quite strict with myself about this. Even on weekends, I settle down for a good purr at 11.30 and it’s “lights out” by midnight.’

By the end of the day, I’m totally zonked

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