CHICAGO—Following the 21-year-old linebacker’s selection in the sixth round, reports confirmed Thursday that the conclusion of the 2016 NFL Draft marked the final time that linebacker Lawrence Davies’ character will ever be scrutinized by his new head coach. According to reports, after the team spent months compiling a pre-draft file that included a background check and a comprehensive outline of personality traits and potential character issues, the moment when Davies’ name was announced on the draft stage represented a culmination of the short-lived period wherein his coach showed interest in closely examining the defensive player’s personal life and off-the-field activities. Sources familiar with the situation revealed that the conclusion of the draft process also signified a definitive end to any coach or trainer thinking critically about Davies’ upbringing, his family, his friends, his romantic relationships, his drinking habits, and the general demeanor with which he interacts with other people in any non-football-related setting. As soon as the former college player penned his name on a four-year rookie contract, not a single person on the coaching staff—nor anyone working in the team’s front office—reportedly felt the need to continue watching Davies for potential warning signs of troublesome behavior in the future, with the organization now taking anything he tells them completely at face value. At press time, sources also confirmed that the end of the draft also signaled the last time that NFL commissioner Roger Goodell will think of Davies as anything but a totally replaceable commodity.

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