How to Play Monkey-Robot-Pirate-Ninja-Zombie (moropinzee)

In honour of Talk Like a Pirate Day, I thought I’d revisit my version of the classic rock-paper-scissors, or rochambeau, as it is sometimes known. As you can see from the schematic below, each thing can beat two other things, and is, in turn beaten by two other things.

The players both count to five (three), though it is obviously better to repeat the name of the game (Monkey! Robot! Pirate! Ninja! Zombie!). Each time you raise your fist and swing it down. On the fifth (third) count, you form your hand into one of the five gestures. (It is recommended that in addition to the hand gesture, you also add an aural component to this — see below for suggested noises.)

So, what beats what, and what are the gestures? What?

Monkey

Monkey fools Ninja

Monkey unplugs Robot

Suggested noise: ee-ee-eek!

Robot

Robot chokes Ninja

Robot crushes Zombie

Suggested noise: ex-ter-min-ate!

Pirate

Pirate drowns Robot

Pirate skewers Monkey

Suggested noise: arrrrr!

Ninja

Ninja karate chops Pirate

Ninja decapitates Zombie

Suggested noise: keeee-ah!

Zombie

Zombie eats Pirate

Zombie savages Monkey

Suggested noise: braaaaaaaaaainsss!



There is a logic to the hand gestures provided, and with any luck they are perfectly obvious. Now, you may be wondering, “Mark, are you totally insane? Are you procrastinating, perchance? Or are you just bored?” The answer is yes.

Update: based on a scientific survey of the comments, Twitter and Facebook updates, “moropinzee” seems to be the easiest name for this game to remember. Someone also had the excellent notion that there could be a full-body dance to celebrate a win.

Swirlee.com had an earlier concept, and I’ve come up with the hand signs, graphics and sound effects. (I’ve also seen it on some message boards too, so yeah, a little derivative.) Originally posted in March, 2009.