(My grandma has gotten increasingly hard-of-hearing; on this occasion, she was trying to make lunch for me.)

Grandma: Would you like some cottage cheese?

Me: (I hate cottage cheese, except on cucumber sandwiches) No, unless you put it on a cucumber sandwich.

Grandma: You want a sandwich?

Me: I was just saying that I don’t like cottage cheese except on cucumber sandwiches, otherwise I don’t like it.

Grandma: So you want a cottage cheese sandwich?

Me: No, I don’t LIKE it. …Do we have cucumber?

Grandma: No…? What do you want for lunch?

Me: …howabout just a ham sandwich?

Grandma: We don’t have any ham.

Me: I just saw some this morning.

Grandma: Oh, okay… *she wanders off and a few minutes later calls me to come eat*

Me: *handing back the ENTIRE BOWL of cottage cheese she gave me* Thanks, I’ll just take the sandwich.

Grandma: Oh, you don’t like cottage cheese?