Story highlights Women who do most of the dishwashing report more conflict, less satisfaction and worse sex

Completing household tasks together as a couple can be a bonding activity

Ian Kerner is a licensed couples therapist, writer and contributor on the topic of sex for CNN.

(CNN) It's Friday night, you've just enjoyed a nice meal at home with your significant other, and they're giving you signs that they want to move things to the bedroom -- but one glance at the kitchen sink dampens any desire you might have felt. It's stacked full of dirty dishes. One of you will be stuck cleaning them sooner or later on.

If this scenario resonates with you, it's no wonder: Not only can household chores be a major source of resentment and stress in many relationships, doing the dishes is the most dreaded task of all, according to a recent study . Its authors found that women in heterosexual relationships believe that it's more important to share the responsibility of doing dishes than any other household chore. Women who shoulder this burden alone report having more conflict, less satisfaction and worse sex with their partners than those whose significant others lend a hand.

Why is dishwashing -- or, more accurately, a lack of it -- such a trigger for women? It could have its roots in shifting gender stereotypes and our expectations of our partners, sex therapist Deborah Fox said. "Most people alive today have witnessed their moms doing more of the daily household tasks and child rearing than their dads, often while holding a job outside the house," she explained. "Women are sensitive to feeling taken for granted and their time not being as highly valued."

At the same time, we know that stress can have powerful effects on libido, so addressing those stressors can help improve sex. "Research has shown that, generally speaking, women are more likely to become sexually aroused if they feel relaxed and emotionally cared for," sex therapist Emily deAyala said. "Assuming that sex is happening some time between dinner and bedtime, it may be that the effect of their partner's effort goes longer for the task of cleaning up after dinner than for other household chores."

Of course, nagging your partner or silently stewing will only foster more resentment -- and will do nothing to spark your sex life. Instead, I recommend the following approaches.

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