Like all the time. Possible and impossible alike. Just now I went through one in which I was in a restaurant in France and called a waiter to me to ask him if he spoke English, and then in English I asked what this particular dish was. I’m a Finn (ie. from Finland), I’ll probably never go to France, let alone a fancy restaurant there. The part that troubles me is that I vocalize only my “parts”, like as if I’m reading a script.

And like I said, I’m doing this all the time. Well, not literally all the time, but most of the time. Many schizophrenics bear voices that are malevolent, or threatening, but mine seem to be just mundane. Boring even. Most of the time. Some times there are voices that tell me to do things I would never do. I’ve written of this before — can’t remember clearly when or what, but I know I have — so now I’m again repeating myself like a parrot. A retarded parrot.

That’s one of the voices again, the one that claims I’m not worthy of anything. That I’m retarded or autistic (not to say autistic people are retarded), and simply not worthy of, for an example, love, kindness, or affection. There are other voices too, there’s one that (I’m constantly writing “who”) tells me to harm other people. People I’ve never met, innocent people. Just wanton violence. That voice is clearly a psychopath (or sociopath).

Or maybe it’s wrong to give human-like attributes to my voices. Make them seem like people, who, for some reason, are inside my head. That would drive anyone crazy, people inside one’s head. How to get them out? Well, clearly one must remove one’s brain to do so. Or that is what I would think, were I psychotic right now. Which I am not.