Image: Tiffany & Co.

“I love the dumb notch! And the face-scanning thing I don’t want! The iPhone X is exactly the kind of absurd luxury good I crave,” you say, having not even scratched the diamond-encrusted surface of true decadence. Sit right there like the tiny, foolish baby you are and I’ll tell you about an even newer, more exciting bauble, the likes of which have not been seen since Nordstrom’s leather-wrapped stone.


You, the trust fund benefactor, the robber baron heir, the second-generation tech disruptor, can be the proud owner of Tiffany & Co.’s new “tin can” for a mere $1,000. Is it, as its name implies, just a tin can? Yes, and so much less.

Tiffany’s website describes the piece from its “Everyday Objects” collection as a classic tin can “upgraded in sterling silver and shining vermeil.” Is this an ordinary tin can (which nowadays is almost always aluminum or steel) dipped in expensive metals? Of course not. What are you, upper-middle class? “Vermeil” refers to a silver object coated in gold, meaning Tiffany’s recreated the form of a tin can from scratch out of precious metals.


Why would someone even make such a thing? As they say: you gotta spend money to make money, and I predict the gold-and-silver can recreation market is headed to the moon.

Like the iPhone X, “tin can” can be custom engraved and even used for call-like features with a piece of string (not included).