Bill Cosby Loses Sexual Assault Appeal, Still Awaiting Decision for Extra Pudding at Dinner

Bill Cosby, formerly known as “America’s Dad,” has proven himself to be more like America’s mom’s drug-addicted boyfriend who went out for cigarettes one night and later appeared on the local news under arrest for multiple warrants. And truth be told, mom’s ex is still more of an upstanding citizen than Cosby. At least with mom, it was consensual. That was not the case with the multiple women Cosby was convicted of sexually assaulting throughout his career.

Despite that conviction, Cosby is still holding out hope that the courts will remember how funny his show was 30 years ago. Unfortunately for “The Wizard of Coz,” most of us can see the man behind the curtain and we see how big of a monster he really is. So, too, did a Pennsylvania Superior Court, as three judges unanimously voted to reject Cosby’s most recent appeal. We cannot confirm nor deny that Jell-O pudding pops were offered as a bribe, but we can confirm that no amount of “heart-to-heart” talks with Theo are going to result in Cosby’s freedom. As he sulked back to his jail cell, one can imagine that the only solace he had was the knowledge that dessert that evening would be his beloved pudding. But, in yet another cruel twist of fate, it ended up being fuckin’ tapioca.

Photo Credit: Gilbert Carrasquillo (Getty Images)

MORE WEIRD NEWS:

1/12 Company Hiring People to Smoke Pot For $3,000 and All the Cool Ranch Doritos You Can Eat (‘Weed’ Do It For Free) For more weird news, click here. Photo Credit: 4x6 (Getty Images)

2/12 Police Chief Shocked to Find ‘Pig’ Written on His Starbucks Cup, His Daughter Not Shocked in the Least For more weird news, click here. Photo Credit: @amyslanchik (Twitter)



3/12 Man Eats $120K Banana at Art Basel, Proving That Some Art Is as Delicious as It Is Dumb For more weird news, click here. Photo Credit: Caroline Purser (Getty Images)

4/12 Greta Thunberg Named Time’s Person of the Year For Standing Up to Climate Change, Old White Men Complain While Destroying Planet For more weird news, click here. Photo Credit: Giorgio Perottin (Getty Images)



5/12 Petition to Rename Fire Ants to ‘Spicy Boys’ Gathers Steam, ‘Picante’ Rejected For Being Too Clever For more weird news, click here. Photo Credit: Elena Taeza/Eye Em (Getty Images)

6/12 Shelter Cat Fingered As Purr-Petrator in Repeated Cases of Kitty Breakout For more weird news, click here. Photo Credit: Friends for Life Animal Rescue



7/12 Woman Rescued After 8 Days in Bathtub, Expected to Join the California Raisins Next Summer on Tour For more weird news, click here. Photo Credit: Johnny Greig (Getty Images)

8/12 ‘Dick Fish’ Wash Ashore by the Thousands in California, Our Worst Nightmare Has Finally Manifested For more weird news, click here. Photo Credit: Kate Montana, iNaturalist



9/12 Meanwhile in Florida: Overly-Eager Holiday Lover Sits Atop Family’s Roof in Nothing But Underwear, Christmas Drills in Progress For more weird news, click here. Photo Credit: RapidEye (Getty Images)

10/12 Plot Twist: Bank Teller Robs Customer After Large Cash Withdrawal, Steals Their Free Sucker, Too For more weird news, click here. Photo Credit: SensorSpot (Getty Images)



11/12 Man Locked in Store After Falling Asleep and Being Left Alone, Everything He Dreamed It Could Be For more weird news, click here. Photo Credit: SSC (Getty Images)

12/12 White Castle Issues Recall of Frozen Sliders Over Possible Listeria Contamination, We’ll Take Our Chances For more weird news, click here. Photo Credit: Win McNamee (Getty Images)

Follow Mandatory on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram.