If Dave and his pals are our 'clever elite' why does Nigel make them look so stupid?

The only interesting things about Douglas Carswell’s switch from the Tory Party to Ukip are that it took him so long and that he has acted alone. Any thinking person has been able to see for years that the Tory Party hates conservatives. It is a roadblock, not a road, championing the elite against the people.

It is kept in being only by the BBC and various dodgy billionaires, who provide it with airtime and money out of all proportion to its real support. It has no actual aims except office at all costs.

It has no actual policies either, only negative smear campaigns, falsely portraying Ukip as mad Nazis, or Ed Miliband as some kind of Trotskyist loony.

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Laughing all the way: Even Nigel Farage has more of a clue about how the world works than our supposedly clever elite, writes Hitchens

The party leader has never pretended to be anything other than he is – the heir to Blair. That is why so much of the Left-wing media prefer David Cameron to Ed Miliband.

Mr Cameron’s promise of a referendum on EU membership is worthless three times over. First, nobody can rely on his word after his broken promise to hold a referendum on the Lisbon Treaty.

Second, Mr Cameron could not win a Westminster majority in 2010, and there is even less chance of his doing so next May, as he well knows. He could promise paradise and be sure he would never have to deliver it.

Third, does anyone seriously think that a referendum on EU membership could be or would be conducted fairly in a country whose main source of news is the BBC, and whose whole media establishment is pro-EU?

As I write, I have in front of me the sad relics of the 1975 referendum on the same subject. I had a narrow escape. I had meant to vote to stay in. But I voted ‘No’ (to leave) after my officially impartial local newspaper delayed a story I had written on the eve of the vote because it would have harmed the ‘Yes’ campaign.

Months of brainwashing were cancelled out by this sharp personal experience of the ‘Yes’ campaign’s instinctive and necessary dishonesty. If it didn’t lie about its real aims, it would never get any support. The whole thing was rigged from the start (as Mr Cameron’s would be).

There are no laws to stop this. In 1975, the state used taxes to pay for and send out two pamphlets urging a ‘stay in’ vote – one from the Government and one from the ‘Yes’ campaign’ – but only one from the ‘No’ campaign.

Read them now and the ‘Yes’ material is often dishonest drivel, including a false claim that the threat of economic and monetary union ‘has been removed’. Not exactly. The ‘No’ pamphlet, by contrast, is prophetic and truthful.

But in 1975, nobody foresaw that the EU would one day abolish British passports and force us to throw open our borders to legions of low-paid workers from the former communist bloc. Nor could they have known that the EU would be aggressively fomenting a new war with Russia, using our money to do so.

Brussels distributed more than £300 million of taxpayers’ money in Ukraine between 2007 and 2013. It went to all kinds of lucky recipients, so it is no great surprise that Kiev blossomed with EU flags last winter during the violent mob putsch which so many idiots in the West supported.

They were generally the same idiots who supported the ‘Arab Spring’, and so helped plunge Libya and Syria into a sea of blood and fire, and to launch ‘Islamic State’. Now these idiots are well on the way to starting the biggest European war since 1945, and are busy blaming Russia for having the effrontery to defend itself against this blatant aggression.

It really is time that we understood that those in charge of this country have no idea what they are doing. Even Nigel Farage has more of a clue about how the world works than our supposedly clever elite.

And yet those who could make a difference still cling to the Tory nurse for fear of finding something worse. Well, what could be worse than bankruptcy, uncontrolled mass immigration and war?

Volcanic panic was all hot air

Remember the 2010 ash cloud panic, when thousands of flights were halted by an invisible (and in my view non-existent) volcanic peril?

Nothing to worry about: Even if Bardarbunga volcano erupts, most planes will fly Well, don’t worry about the latest rumblings in Iceland. Quietly, the Civil Aviation Authority, the Met Office and the airlines have changed their rules so that if it happens again, most planes will fly. They’ll never admit it, but I suspect this is as close as they’ll come to confessing that they over-reacted wildly in 2010.

Politically correct - and totally wrong

Some credit must go to the ex-MP Denis MacShane for admitting that, ‘as a true Guardian reader and liberal Leftie’, he may have kept too quiet about the treatment of girls and women by members of the ‘Muslim community’.

But would he have made this confession if he had not been brought low by the expenses scandal and had nothing to lose? I tend to agree he was the victim of highly selective justice, but I also recall him lecturing me for alleged xenophobia when he was still on the political career ladder.

I am anything but politically correct, but I freely confess that I am scared of the destructive, unreasoning power of the politically correct lobby. They have prevented the proper exposure of much wrongdoing – and they still do so.

Nick Clegg is the only one confused about sex

Confused about sex: Nick Clegg

We've had sex education in this country since the 1950s, expanding rapidly from coy biological diagrams to funky cartoon depictions of the sex act, and the stretching of condoms over countless bananas by giggling teens.

The only thing that can’t be advocated in these sessions is heterosexual marriage.

Hilariously, the original idea was that this would reduce teen pregnancy and sexual diseases.



But these diseases have gone up steadily ever since sex-ed was introduced, though massacre-scale abortions and taxpayer-funded morning-after pills for all have finally begun to get pregnancies down.

Now Nick Clegg wants more sex education.



May I suggest an experiment? Let’s try not having any for a few years and see what happens.



There can’t be anyone left in Britain over the age of seven who doesn’t know how babies are made.

British diplomats in Washington have got into trouble for making jokes about British troops burning the White House during the War of 1812 between our two supposedly friendly nations.



Let me say it again: there is no ‘special relationship’. Americans don’t love us. It’s long past time for us to declare independence – from them.