Show caption David Gower … ‘My dad died when I was 15, and it was my friends and sport that helped me to deal with the loss.’ Photograph: terstock/Gillian Shaw/Rex/Shutterstock My family values David Gower: ‘School was a lifeline when my dad was seriously ill’ The former cricketer and commentator talks about being an only child, growing up in Africa and how his dad helped him to remain so calm (though less so playing tennis) Interview by Lucy Benyon Fri 19 Aug 2016 13.00 BST Share on Facebook

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My parents didn’t crave a normal life, and until the age of six, I lived in Dar es Salaam, the largest city in east Africa, where my dad worked in the colonial service, overseeing vast swaths of what is now known as Tanzania. We had an enviable expat lifestyle with a beautiful house, servants and access to the best sporting and social events through the gymkhana club. It was an idyllic time, and I have so many wonderful memories of snake-hunting with the local children and running wild on the nearby beach. On one occasion, my dad even drove us round the Serengeti in our own homespun safari. Looking back, it was a pretty bold thing to do, but it was adventure that inspired my life-long passion for travel and wildlife.

I was an only child but I never really minded, and it meant that my parents always had plenty of time for me. When I was three or four, my dad would spend hours just throwing cricket balls at me in the garden, and later he introduced me to golf and tennis. My parents weren’t remotely pushy, but they could see how much I enjoyed my sport, and they always encouraged that.

Dad was a Cambridge Blue in hockey, and a very talented rugby player. He also excelled at tennis and cricket. Probably the best lesson he taught me was how to be a gentleman on the pitch. Once when I was about 10, I got really upset when I missed a ball he’d bowled. Dad put an arm round me, and said: “Try and move on quickly from every disappointment, and look ahead to the next challenge.” It was a very important lesson, and as an international cricketer, I always had a reputation for being incredibly calm. However, get me on a tennis court, and it’s a completely different story. I can really lose my cool.

I went to boarding school at eight, and I absolutely thrived. I won a scholarship to a school in Canterbury where my dad had once been head boy, and I loved the strong sense of camaraderie. Being good at sport gained me instant popularity, and I went on to become the captain of the cricket team. School was a lifeline for me as my dad was seriously ill with motor neurone disease. He died when I was 15, and it was my friends and sport that helped me to deal with the loss.

I am so glad to have passed on to my children the strong sense of adventure and resilience that my parents gave to me

Mum and I worried about each other. She was such a kind and gentle lady, but she suffered from chronic asthma and I hated the fact she no longer had my dad to look after her. When I dropped out of university at 19 to play with Leicestershire county cricket club, she was convinced that I was making a huge mistake. I was delighted to be able to prove her wrong.

My mum was so proud when my cricketing career took off. Neither of my parents were demonstrative, but Mum came to nearly every one of my Test matches, and I always scanned the crowd for her smiling face. She became great friends with Ian Botham’s parents, and loved watching me play. I am so glad she got to see me lead England in the Ashes victory against Australia in 1985. Sadly, she died from heart failure the following year, and I was devastated, but as the captain of England, I had to go on tour to the West Indies shortly after her death. It was hard but I knew she’d understand, as like me, she was someone who just got on with things.

My daughters are sporty too, and I have got a great deal of pleasure in watching them compete in hockey and netball matches over the years. Alex, 22, and Sammi, 19, are both at university and although we like to be involved in their lives, my wife, Thorunn, and I try to give them as much space as possible. Last summer, Alex went off trekking around South America and Sammi has just returned from the far east. More than anything, I am so glad to have passed on to my children the strong sense of adventure and resilience that my parents gave to me.