ComcastifyJS

With all this internet going around, sometimes you just want to experience the thrill of a long page load. Give your users the chance to enjoy a little slice of the future by slow loading your website's images with ComcastifyJS!

Just a side note: We're hiring devs!

Lets slow things down!

Include comcastify.js on your page or use the latest version from our CDN: <script src="http://code.onion.com/comcastify.js"></script> Prepare the images on your page on document ready (so images don't show up before the box): comcastifyjs.letsPrepareTheseImages(); Initialize comcastify on window load, something like this (so image sizes are properly calculated): window.onload = comcastifyjs.fixMyImagesLoadingSoFast({ boxColor: '#123456', loadMaxPercent: 0.75, loadSpeed: 100, loadIncrement: 5 }); Switch up parameters to change your experience: elements list of DOM elements to limit comcastification to.

list of DOM elements to limit comcastification to. boxColor Hex color for the box placed over images.

Hex color for the box placed over images. loadMaxPercent Max percentage of image to load.

Max percentage of image to load. loadSpeed Speed to load your images to their max in ms.

Speed to load your images to their max in ms. randLoadIncrement Set to true to make load increment random, loadIncrement ignored in this case.

Set to true to make load increment random, loadIncrement ignored in this case. loadIncrement Number of pixels to load each time the loadSpeed timer ticks.

Number of pixels to load each time the loadSpeed timer ticks. randomPause Probability of skipping a pass each time the loadSpeed timer ticks.

See it in action!

Enjoy the slowness of the load! (hint: you might want to reload the page)

Here's the code running this thing:

$(document).ready(function () { comcastifyjs.letsPrepareTheseImages(); }); $(window).load(function () { comcastifyjs.fixMyImagesLoadingSoFast({ loadMaxPercent: 0.75, loadSpeed: 1000, loadIncrement: 5, boxColor: '#ece4d8' })(); });

That's it!

Now grab a coffee and enjoy the load times!