Just a short post tonight.

Earlier today, I read two articles about transgender issues. Both argued in opposition to trans* identity. One, a Patheos article written by a Catholic mom, was touching and–though I disagreed with it–gentle. The other, which was published on The Federalist, is just another knee-jerk, toe-the-line reaction. Basically, the writer argues that transgender issues are really just another arm of some leftist hegemony that is trying to force people to think differently. Oh, and put a nail in the coffin of traditional marriage (or…something like that. I still don’t get how anyone could have come to such a ridiculous conclusion, but whatever). There were so many things wrong with the article, that it really upset me just trying to wrap my head around all of them. Trans* people are trying to kill what it means to be human. Transgender issues are just a fad. Transgender people want to invade your home and set it on fire (okay, I made that last one up, but good grief, it’s like the good minds at The Federalist are trying their utmost to turn us into some uber-scary monsters under the bed).

And then there are the air quotes. One after another, sentence after sentence. The author just has to drive home how ludicrous it is for a “man” to “believe” “he” is a “woman” who was “born” with the “wrong” “body”.

But all of that is just poor rhetoric. What really bugged me was the stuff about power struggles. The author’s basic thesis: trans* people are taking control of language, culture, and politics in order to force other people to acknowledge their expressed genders. She creates an illusion that we have an iron fist fixed straight at the throats of anyone who dare oppose us. Really? Let’s think about that for a minute. Trans* people have power? One of the smallest, most downtrodden minorities in the entire world has unspeakable power? A group of people who suffer from astronomical suicide rates, hate crimes, drug abuse, loneliness, lack of healthcare, and joblessness/poverty are controlling your lives? How very sad, poor, white, libertarian journalist.

This is what kills me. How people argue that I–who have lost my wife, most of my family, and many of my friends–could be in control. How is it that I–the girl who gets stared down wherever I go, who is gossiped about among my old classmates and teachers, who lives in a small, Bible-Belt community where some would sooner hang me than call me “she”–have power?

There is one thing I have control over. One thing. Myself. And since I have some small bit of control over myself, I at least want the freedom to work out who I am without being afraid. I do believe that is a key aspect of democracy…or so I’ve read. I also want the freedom to be recognized as human, something The Federalist seems to misunderstand. Rather than throwing away the meaning of the word, I want to revitalize it. I want us to remember that it is more than biology and reproduction. Yes, those things are part of it. But what about consciousness, spirit, soul? What about being itself? Don’t they play into our most vital and lasting definitions of the human?

So, yeah, as a human who wants to be treated humanely, I do ask that people gender me appropriately. Why? Because it shows respect. It shows care. And shouldn’t that be enough on its own?

As an example, let me make a comparison. I live in a part of the world where the term “Mexican” has become derogatory. When people use the word, they spit it out. It’s rarely complimentary. As a result, many of the Mexican Americans in this area have stopped referring to themselves in relation to their heritage. They call themselves Hispanic or Latino. Some, however, see a problem with this. They see what could be lost. They believe that it is a point of pride to be Mexican or of Mexican descent. And so, they were the term with honor. They ask others–people who have criticized “Mescans”their entire lives–to call them by what they are. Why? Because it is part of their being. They deserve to have their being accepted. It has formed them and continues to form them.

I understand that being transgender is not the same as being of a racial minority. But, the act of wearing one’s gender for the world to see is very similar. We want people to know how important gender is, and how much it has affected our being. And for that, I think we deserve some level of acceptance, just an ounce of respect. And that’s not because we want power. It’s because we want love. We ask you to love us. When you don’t, is it any surprise that we don’t always love you back? That we fight for power? We are the ones without it, after all. And really, when you think about it, the only time people starts complaining about other people taking power, well, that’s when you know they’re afraid of losing some of it.