When the Zombie Apocalypse was mentioned in the House of Commons

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Winnipeg New Democrat Pat Martin addressed the Canadian Parliament Wednesday, urging his fellow members of the House of Commons to ensure Canada remains a zombie-free country.

Martin said he wanted to salute the Center of Disease Control and Quebec for taking emergency efforts to deal with the possibilities of a zombie invasion. Recently, the Quebec government performed a disaster planning exercise, with a mock zombie invasion to address the need to be prepared.

"I don't need to tell you, Mr. Speaker, that zombies don't recognize borders; that a zombie invasion in the United States could easily turn into a continent-wide pandemic if it is not contained," Martin said, with members of Parliament laughing behind him.

Citing concerned Canadians everywhere, Martin addressed John Baird, Minister of Foreign Affairs, asking him what he was doing to ensure Canadian safety.

"Is he working with his American counterparts to develop an international zombie strategy, so that a zombie invasion does not turn into a zombie apocalypse," Martin said emphatically.

I don't need to tell you, Mr. Speaker, that zombies don't recognize borders; that a zombie invasion in the United States could easily turn into a continent-wide pandemic if it is not contained. –Pat Martin, New Democrat Party

Standing to address his colleagues' concerns, Baird defiantly defended his efforts to stop zombies from entering the country.

"Mr. Speaker, I want to assure this member and all Canadians that I am dedicated to ensuring that this never happens," he said. "I want to say categorically to this member, and through him to all Canadians, that under the leadership of this Prime Minister, Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies, ever!"

Baird could not resist, however, tying in a conservative talking point about a "carbon tax" proposed by the New Democrat Party.

"We should take this issue very seriously," Baird added. "If there is a zombie attack, Canadians need to be well prepared; they should stock up on first-aid kits, monster trucks, canned food and water. And I am not going to stand in this place and not warn Canadians that if the NDP had their way, Canadians would have to pay a carbon tax on each and every one of those products."

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