Ever since Patricia Altschul first announced on Instagram that she would be debuting a line of caftans that could be customized with photos of your own pet, we have been counting down the days to launch. We spoke with the reality star on the phone to get more details about her caftans, plus the scoop on her forthcoming , and the new season of Southern Charm (which premieres on Bravo on April 3). And because she is the chicest person to ever appear on reality TV, we also asked for fashion tips.

Tell me about your caftan line—how did you come up with the concept?

I was traveling with my friend Georgette in India and we had dinner with a friend of hers, Sherina, who is from Mumbai. She is the go-to person for fashionable Indian wedding dresses. We were all sitting around having cocktails and I had on a caftan that is decorated with Staffordshire dogs. [Ed note: Because of course Altschul owns a caftan with Staffordshire dogs on it!]

It was just a plain caftan, no embellishments, one size fits all, and a little tie string at the neck. Sherina asked how much I paid for it because she is in the business and I said, "$3,000." Georgette said, "Oh my god, but it doesn't have a jeweled neck or anything," and I said, "I know, but it's the only thing I've seen with dogs." Georgette said, "Wouldn't it be fun to have your own dog on a caftan?" and I said, "Well, that would be fantastic, but how do you do that?"

Courtesy of Bravo/Subject

So she got you started.

Sherina said that it was very simple. If you send in a frontal-face photograph of your pet (you can do it with any pet: horses, cats, even iguanas), it would translate beautifully to fabric. We would crop it and silkscreen it on fabric, and then we would make you a gorgeous caftan. We would embellish the neck and sleeves with stones and it would be on a cream background.

We experimented with all of our pets in different sizes and on different fabrics, and after about four months of experimentation we found a very luxurious fabric that looks like heavy silk. We have gotten the system down so we can do it perfectly—the embellishers in India know exactly how to do the neck and the sleeves, and they are adorable. And they are washable!

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In a month our caftan line will be in operation. After emailing a photo of your pet it will be silk screened and embellished like Monty here pic.twitter.com/cud8qzbDe0 — Patricia Altschul (@Pataltschul) January 16, 2017

Who are your partners in the business?

Georgette Mosbacher is retired, but she was the CEO of La Prairie and Borghese and she advises hedge funds. Sherina is in India and she runs the factory and oversees everything. I'm supposed to be retired but frankly I've never worked so hard.

I'm supposed to be retired but frankly I've never worked so hard.

How long is the turnaround for the caftans?

It will probably take five weeks to get your caftan.

Bottom line: How much do they cost?

Right now, they cost $299. We have to do them in India because we can't match the quality of the fabric and the embellishments in the United States, and we can't match the price. If we did it here, it would cost $1,000.

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Will you expand beyond caftans?

We are starting out with caftans, but once we have a customer's photograph on file we can make any number of caftans you want—some crazy people have five, like I do. We can't do more than one pet at a time on a single caftan, but with the photograph we can make pillows, ties for men, blankets for the pet, tote bags. You could really go in all kinds of directions, but we first wanted to see if people like this idea.

How many caftans do you own?

Oh dear. I've never counted them and I don't get rid of them. I have a tie-dye caftan that goes back to the 60s or 70s, and I have Halston caftans from that period. Let's just say I have three fairly big closets worth of caftans. I have a lot.

What are your favorite clothing items besides caftans?

I just love great big poufy ball gowns. I grew up in the South, and if you are a Southern debutante you wear big, poufy white dresses and you go to cotillion. I guess I just never advanced!

My life is different here in Charleston, but when I lived in New York I went to couture in Paris for maybe 10 years, and it was the golden age of that. There was a close-knit group of women from all over the world who went to couture and there weren't movie stars and rap stars and reality stars. When my husband was alive we went to a lot of events and balls and private parties so I had wonderful ball gowns that Yves Saint Laurent made for me, and when Oscar de la Renta was designing for Balmain, I got a lot from him.

Do you still have all of these gowns?

Well, I gave a lot of my clothes to SCAD (the Savannah College of Art and Design). My friend André Leon Talley is on the board there and he wanted to create the largest repository of couture in the South, which students could use for research. C.Z. Guest gave her couture clothes to SCAD—so did Anna Wintour and Annette de la Renta. I gave them a lot, so they really have quite a good collection of couture. I still have some dresses, but they take up too much space. And I don't use them down here. I'm so lazy I don't get to Europe or New York as much as I used to.

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What are your least favorite fashion trends?

How long do you have? Well, let me start with ball gowns that you can see through. I hatetight Hervé Leger dresses, especially on pregnant women—you can actually see the baby move. It gives me the willies. That's when they should be wearing caftans! I think that big ugly shoes are so unfeminine and awful. All of these crazy ponytails and man buns. Piercings—I can't look at piercings and tattoos. I think they should be in private parts where we don't have to look at them.

I'll tell you some trends that I love. All of a sudden, clothes are getting glamorous—they are done with feathers and sequins and luxurious fabrics and they look opulent and playful. And I am mad for shoes.

Let's just say I have three fairly big closets worth of caftans. I have a lot.

Who is your favorite shoe designer?

Oh dear, I really don't have a favorite. I buy them all over the place. But I just ordered a pair of Dolce & Gabbana sandals that have heels that are pineapples. They look like something that Carmen Miranda would wear. Clearly someone my age should not be wearing pineapple sandals, but what the hell.

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What is your favorite decade for fashion?

I grew up in the 1950s, and we wore poodle skirts, crinolines, bobby socks, cinched belts, and little scarves around our necks. And I thought we were hot stuff way back then. I actually really enjoyed the 1980s and the excess. I'm all for excess. And I actually like what is going on now. It's more playful, more glitzy, and more fun.

What is your favorite store to shop in?

Net-a-Porter! I love Charleston. I think the quality of life here is sublime, but it is not the fashion capital of the world.

Who is the best-dressed person on Southern Charm? Besides yourself, of course.

I think Cameran is. Cameran and Whitney. Cameran is lovely, she goes to New York and she also buys from Net-a-Porter. Whitney buys his clothes at Huntsman in London and he always looks kind of stuffy because he is dressed up in three-piece suits. But I think everybody on the show looks neat. They aren't sloppy. But Southerns are a little more casual—especially the men—about the way that they dress.

You gave Landon a makeover last season when you found out she liked Shep. What style tips would you give to a woman who wanted to get a man's attention?

I don't think you should get attention through your clothes. I think that you should want you to be the attraction. I think you should look demure but pretty and fresh, with makeup, not a mini-skirt that comes up to below the Mason-Dixon line. I see young girls wearing unbelievably short skirts and tight dresses. I don't think you need to wear stiletto heels.

I don't like this natural look of torn jeans and funny-looking shoes and no makeup—I don't think that it gives the right impression. It's almost disrespectful. I wouldn't go out of the house that way, but I see young girls all over the place wearing sloppy t-shirts and flip-flops, which I abhor. You can discreetly put on makeup that enhances you, you can have clean, shiny, and pretty hair that's done and combed, and wear something that's attractive and alluring but not slutty. You don't want to look like the Whore of Babylon to get somebody's attention.

Southern Charm is coming back next month. What can we expect from the next season?

First of all, I think that you're going to see the cast members having a good time with one another. It's not going to be so quite so dark, although several of the cast members have to work through some rather serious problems, and whether they are successful in the end is the question. But it I think it's much lighter. I think it's the best season we have done yet.

And your book comes out on April 18! Can you tell me a little about it?

It is called The Art of Southern Charm, and it can be ordered on . It's a blueprint to have a lovely life, Southern style. I go into everything—I wrote lists of what to do, what not to do, what to buy. I list my favorite things, I talk about the home, personal achievements, and I have a list of authorities who chime in on the various things we are talking about.

For example, when I talk about caftans, Cathy Horyn (the former fashion critic of the New York Times) comes in. She's a dear friend—these are all friends of mine who have come in—and she talks about the history of the caftan and why it's important and who wore it. I talk about how to decorate your house or your apartment, and Mario Buatta answers questions. Katie Lee Joel, who was married to Billy Joel, tells you what to cook on a first date, how to land a man by your cooking. Carolyn Roehm talks about flowers and how to decorate. Georgette Mosbacher tells you—I mean, she's had some pretty fabulous husbands as well—she tells you to go about that. She wrote a book called . Carson Kressley from Queer Eye talks about what to wear on a first date, how not to screw it up. I list products and techniques, how to manage your home, what you need to know, and what's on my kindle. I have lists of things that I like, things that I dislike—I have one list the "End of Western Civilization" that includes things like the man-bun.

What is your favorite book right now?

by Andy Cohen. And do you know what I think is hilarious? . I love Kevin Kwan's books.

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