It is now time for an episode of Oh My God, What The F*ck Are My Townies Wearing? The Seasons expansion pack came out today, and it’s been, uh, interesting.

First we have this fellow, who I have seen before, but dude. Look around. I get it–you like the brisk feeling of your rock hard nips flapping in the winter breeze. But I thought sims were supposed to select cold weather gear to go out in, when it was, you know, cold. Is it the tights? Are tights enough to keep you warm? Is it the hat? Is one and only one cold weather item sufficient?

It appears so. Giselle. Honey. One–those items don’t even belong on the same shelf. Two–this is definitely the Romance Festival, New Year’s and Winter in the ultimate cage match. The only winner here is frostbite.

Why no, I wasn’t staring! I didn’t even notice your giant space helmet that is apparently keeping you warm!

*Backs away slowly*

When the San Myshuno Weirdo wants to feel spiffy.

So there you have it. If you want to be warm, wear a hat. That’s it. No other cold weather item required. Hats only, guys. Hats only.