Environmental inspector for the local government, specializing in sewage runoff in areas with highly dissolved oxygen rates.

Sample Dialogue:

WOMAN

May I sit on your lap as you show me what you do?

MAN

Yes. Yes you may.

WOMAN

What is this gauge for?

MAN

This gauge is for testing the fecal matter in underground storage facilities that have a tendency to pool beyond the acceptable runoff rate of 23 PCMs per cubic yard of arable soil.

WOMAN

And this stick?

MAN

This stick? Or this stick?

WOMAN

The shorter stick.

MAN

This stick I use to insert into holes.

WOMAN

Deep holes?

MAN

Sometimes. And other times not so deep. It really depends on how much fecal matter is evident in the runoff drains according to county regulation #354-a. But sometimes other runoff is also evident. Like raw sewage caused by the dead animals that clog storm drains.

WOMAN

Would you like to eat a slice of my freshly baked pie?

MAN

Yes, ma'am.

Lovemaking ensues