For Mascot Death-Match Part 1, click here.

If you haven’t been introduced to the nuanced idea of fake creatures beating each other up, check out our last post. If you have, then welcome back! Your votes were surely appreciated by the underdogs Monica Lewinsky and the Salt Lake Lions. FYI: It’s not over! Go vote some more and the results will reveal themselves in due time . . . . but now to this weeks poll.

Speak friend and enter . . .

Matchup 1: New Jersey Hammerheads vs. New York PONY

The New Jersey vs New York Rivalry has a new chapter, and thy name is Frisbee. Granted the New Jersey Hammerheads have had a rough start to their franchise history, in that they ceased to exist. But hey, Beau Kitteredge didn’t exist the first three days of Club Nationals, and look how well Revolver did! They will however have a tough match-up against the Twitter giants PONY. Whether their mascot is a Horse or a Lion doesn’t seem to matter at this point, what matters more is how well they can beat the mascot that is basically Bruce Willis from Sixth Sense: Spoilers! He was dead the whole time.

Matchup 2: Seattle Riot vs. Charlotte Express

Pro Floppy Tip: This Matchup is the exact plot of the movie Snowpiercer. 5/5 Stars.

Charlotte has shown lackluster results up to this point, but come on this is a women’s team. Ok but really i’m going with the Riot on this one. I’ll take anything from Seattle at this point.

Matchup 3: Tronto Rush vs. Vancouver Riptide

What can you say about this one? Really, what can you say? I’m not sure what a Rush is much less a Riptide. So let’s just do what every ZTA would do and just pick the one with prettier colors.

Matchup 4: SF Boost Mobile vs. Atlanta Hustle

Pro Floppy Tip: You can get 2GB a month for just $30. That’s a steal.

Many have known a Cell Phone Salesman to pull their Hustle sales tactics, so who takes the edge in this one? Well for starters, Atlanta is a team and Boost Mobile hasn’t existed since Lebron was a Cav, the first time. Slight advantage there.

Matchup 5: Nashville Nightwatch vs Ottowa Outlaws

A classic case of Cowboys vs Indians. If the Indians were Canadian and the Cowboy’s were terrible at Frisbee. So there’s only one question, do you feel lucky punk?

Matchup 6: Cincinnati Revolution vs. New York Empire

Word on the street is Mel Gibson is captaining the Cincinnati side with his early 2000’s The Patriot hatchet. Many an Empire has toppled from less. The Empire’s offense has been on fire in the East Division, but Louis IIVX can’t keep this up much longer.

Matchup 7: Indianapolis Alleycats vs. San Jose Spiders

Let’s be honest, you smart people see through the charade at this point. The only reason these two are paired is because if they played anyone else they would lose every time. I’ve seen some big spiders, and they’ve seen the bottom of my shoe. I’ve seen some Cats, but they’re not allowed inside my home. Anyways, take your pick. They’re losing in the next round.

Matchup 8: Rochester Dragons vs. Philadelphia Phoenix

Here we go. This is the big time. It really comes down to Character preference. More than likely people will go with Dumbledore’s Phoenix because it has access to the sword of Gryffindor. Personally I envision the Dragon to be ridden by Rhaegar, which is very exciting considering Danaerys can’t get off her butt and get to Westeros. Let me get off this one, my nerd is showing.

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So that’s it people. Make it count.

Stay Classy,

FD