Why my Sodium Chloride level was elevated and how i will improve it.

First of all, I want to apologize to everyone who I may have affected over the last two months ingame. I know I can't undo what I said/ what I did but I feel like this tweet is necessary to get some weight off my chest and in order to have the most fun with the best Community I've been in.



To explain myself a bit: I'm a very competitive player who has been playing e-Sports for over 7 years. My aim is to improve myself with every game I play, basically to become one of the best at what I do. ( somewhat a Y2J reference :D) I'm fine with losing if I know that we didn't stand a chance against our opponents or I know it was my bad. I just took these game as motivation to try even harder the next game. So far so good, sounds like reasonable motivation.



However now comes the bad part of this absolute will to improve/win after every game. I generally got mad at my teammates when I felt like they were having terrible decisionmaking or were not giving 100% to win the game. I didn't have problems with people missing the ball because everybody has a bad day (believe me, I know it). This, however, led to a spirale which got worse over time and where I would play worse every game and I wouldn't realize it. Some personal stuff that happened in my life just aggravated this situation.



The point were I decided that I need to change something, was when somebody recognized me as "that mad and salty dude" which absolutly crushed me. I don't want to be remembered as salty guy in this beautiful community and so I realized that I need to change. I will now not only train my RL skills but the way i act aswell and I will do my best to integrate even further in this community.



If somebody got any advice to help me, feel free to share. (except for the standard stuff, like taking breakes, not caring, etc.)



I apologize again to whoever I may have ruined the gameexperience and I hope I can do a fresh start now.



Lux

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