OTTAWA — A recent study at the University of Ottawa has concluded that 93% of Canadian households have already bought and eaten two boxes of candy intended for Halloween, and are working on a third.

“We started tracking sales as soon as Halloween candy hit the shelves in August, and our numbers are very clear”, said sociologist Dr. Cynthia Bishop. “The average Canadian family has bought a box of candy, eaten it, bought another box of candy, eaten that one as well, and is now halfway through a third box. As a nation, we just have no impulse control in the presence of fun-sized Kit Kats”.

Researchers discovered that many Canadians bought candy early with the aim of not having to worry about it last minute. However, boxes placed in highly visible locations like the top of the fridge or the kitchen counter were inevitably opened within fifteen minutes and finished gradually over the next 24 hours. Boxes placed in discrete locations like the back of a closet lasted only slightly longer.

Not everyone is excited about this, however. Ottawa local Peter Matthews is beginning to wonder if he can afford anymore Néstle Favourites® Assorted Mini Candy or Cadbury Chocolate Assorted Fun Treats: “I’ve eaten five boxes already, and my paycheck doesn’t come until next week. Now I have to choose between another box of Twix or my diabetes medication. I might have to turn out the lights on Halloween and pretend there’s no one home”. Candy companies, too, are worried about the development. A spokesperson for Hershey’s voiced concern to journalists: “It looks like a good thing at first, but if our stocks run out before Halloween hits, how are we going to introduce our product to the new generation of users? I mean customers”.

Bishop isn’t concerned: “We have to accept that we eat an absolutely unhealthy amount of chocolate and sugar and that’s a normal life choice. It’s nothing to be ashamed of”, she said, finishing off a bite sized Coffee Crisp, “I personally have bought two boxes of candy so far, and I’m planning to buy more after Halloween when it goes on sale. That’s no one’s business but mine and my dentist’s”.

While the data shows that families are currently returning to stores for more candy, a similar study has found that families that bought those little boxes of raisins are still trying to get rid of the ones from last year.