Ponyproblematic's first post reminds me of the old line "I'm not racist but..." then they make a racist joke. Except in her example it's a fat person. Goes to show how boring and cruel some people can be to make thinly veiled insults into jokes like that. Or at least to defensively dismiss it as a joke if called out on it.

No one can tell anyone how to feel. Her experience says it happens where she is and she feels it is common enough. So it could indeed be a regional thing, or at least something in her region. Until I hear more stories I can only go my what I have seen and heard. But that's some proof that at least in some places it is could be a problem that needs to be addressed.

There was another post from a rather proud fat shamer but I'm not going to address it further than saying it proves my point about how it happens online. There are no direct consequences so people are a lot bolder than they would be in real life. That's how the internet has always been.

Fat Man Fashion

Something someone wanted me to cover at some point is looking at participating in the goth subculture not as a fat person, but as a fat man. In particular the fashion/style side of things. We hear plenty about fat ladies but the fat men aren't so vocal.

I have said it before in previous articles but its worth repeating for clarity. I participate in goth subculture but I am not necessarily goth. I have a heavy interest in goth music and subculture. I even DJ actual goth sets. My main interest is in industrial however. also worth mentioning I'm in Australia so buying online means importing from USA, UK or Europe most of the time.

For the fat man options are generally few and far between. I can get basic clothing items in black, red or purple fairly easily enough locally. For anything more intricate or detailed the internet is generally where to go. Ebay is your friend as well as webstores. Problem is sizing isn't a standard across the world. Sometimes I buy a shirt that should fit and doesn't, other times I go for bigger sizes to be safe and they are huge on me.

You can get around sizing differences going by measurements instead but you have to be sure you measure your biggest parts. Also with the way men are fat, your lower half is often near to normal where your top half is a lot bigger. Case in point - in Australian measurements (which can also fluctuate store to store) I'm only a XXL at my waistline but at least 5XL for a shirt. If I want a looser fit I'll go as high as 7XL (as big as big departments in Big W and Target go) yet the same size shirt from USA is only 3XL.

Also worth mentioning that the more fabric it takes to make something, the more they usually charge. So buying online you don't want to outlay a heap for it to arrive and not fit. I tend to always go a little bigger to be safe whether buying via size, measurements or having something custom made.

Finding a waistcoat that fit me was tricky. A suit jacket was no problem. Even in the larger men departments the biggest they went was to 3XL, 4XL in a large men's store. My guess is there simply isn't the demand for them. So I had to go online. I ended up finding a very basic black/satin one on ebay. But of course Ebay teased me with all the beautiful brocade ones that only went up to 3XL if lucky, usually XXL in most cases. In fact for clothing in general online and locally the upper limits range between XL-3XL depending on the brand and what it is. The choice of t shirts locally that aren't a basic colour (hey I'm happy with plain black anyway) is woeful.

The basic items are great and all but what about other things? How to goth it up. That's what accessories are for! Pendants, gloves, ties, brooches, rings, badges, fishnet stockings turned into shirts and so on. A lot of the time you have to re-purpose stuff or DIY things. But that's all part of the goth/punk territory. I have a skeletal hand hairclip I use on a jacket lapel for example.

Speaking of re-purposing I tend to acquire a lot of ladies clothing items and use them. Skirts are surprisingly easy to find in a size that fits. Dresses can be modified or worn as is. Sure the sizing and shape is a little different but that's what measurements are for. If I want to do a complete crossdress add in a wig, makeup and fake boobs (I have a pair of mastectomy "chicken fillets") and you are good to go. Regarding fake boobs general idea is bigger the boobs, the smaller your gut appears. So I bought the biggest ones I could find for a price I was willing to pay. I still feel weird wearing them having so much of my lower vision cut off by them.

The rivethead in me also attracts me towards military stuff. Cammo pants are everywhere and I'm grateful for that. I love browsing army surplus stores looking for cool stuff. Customizing a jacket with military pins is great. Finding a full face gas mask is like unearthing treasure. I have only ever found 2 different ones, I hope to find more in the future. Military officers' hats, helmets, scrim netting, ammo boxes, empty shell casings - all good for that militaristic style. Plus GPs are some of the cheapest and durable boots you will ever buy.

As for shoes I have found as I get older I can't handle anything with massive heels. Plus as a fat man anything that could cause me to be unstable on my feet is bad. Add in most events I'm on my feet all night I opt for comfort over style.I have always preferred simpler styles anyway. Long pants/skirt will usually cover them anyway. Recently I have been wearing black sneakers or pointy dress shoes.

I used to be a size 9 shoe but now I wear an 11. Partly due to fluid retention in my feet/ankles, partly due to feet changing over time. If I wear the dress shoes I usually bring something conformable for the walk home. Knock it all you like but Crocs are extremely comfortable. They are like putting on a new pair of feet at the end of a long night.

OP shop finds are slim pickings for the fat man. You either have to get very lucky or find things to re-purpose. I like to look often but I rarely find things for me. Yet somehow my partner finds stuff for me a lot more. She found me an awesome velvet dress once. Though she often buys stuff for herself, doesn't like it and I inherit it. Yay for me.

That pretty much covers it. In short its a case of making do with what you can find unless you can throw lots of money at it for custom stuff. But that's not really much different to anyone else except off the rack options are a lot more limited.

-Aytakk has been active in the goth scene since the mid 90s both online and in real life. He firmly believes in the old line "if you don't get the joke, you are the joke". As well as this he produces music for a couple of music projects: Corpulence On The Catwalk (goth/darkwave/coldwave) and Hypnophile (aggrotech/power noise). He is also a club DJ and nemesis of DJ Jelly.