Jeremy doesn’t only speak theoretically. He has a buddy (let’s call him Alex), who shares space in his Red Hook, Brooklyn, wood shop. Alex used to rely on Jeremy for his skill set. Then after a while, Alex felt too mentored. “We had situations where we got into arguments when he said he needed to solve a problem and I made a suggestion and he ignored me and tried his own way,” Jeremy said. “I said that’s not how it should be done. After that happened a couple times, well, our relationship has been reduced to a perfunctory hello.”

I asked him if he and Alex could ever sit down and say, “Hey, we’ve hurt each other’s feelings, let’s talk it out and get past it.”

His response: “What? You kidding me?”

This inability is not just limited to New York men of a certain age. Our current president seems to be known for not being intimate with anyone except his wife and children. In Bob Woodward’s new book, “The Price of Politics,” we learn that behind the scenes, Joe Biden gets the vital deals done. He knows that he must have the awkward talks it takes to keep our government going. But the guys in front can’t because of their precious sovereignty.

Women, on the other hand, have it better. I look on with envy at the tortured friendships that make up the fabric of my wife Lauren’s social life. She sometimes tangles with a close friend who is dating and sensitive about it, while my wife has a baby and goes to bed weirdly early.

My wife and her friend hurt each other’s feelings at dinners with other friends. Then they stew and obsess and vent to other friends. Next, they engage in a difficult phone call. A few days later they meet and drink wine and work on gently knitting their bond back together. And their friendship not only survives, it is also strengthened.

Men can’t seem to do any of that. What a pleasure it would be to voice my pains and disappointments like Lauren does. I suppose that I would have to hear some guys complain to me about my insensitivity and distance, too. It would be worth it. Postfight, I would be more present for my friends and they could be more present for me.