“That’s not where the teeth are.” I mumbled, trying to play off the kick but failing miserably. Getting on my feet used to be such an easy task. I hoped the damage wouldn’t be permanent.

“Say again?” The kicking enthusiast asked. Lucky for me, his companions dragged him away, pointing out that it wasn’t worth getting thrown in the can for some ‘unaffiliated worm’. Their words, not mine.

“The locals here sure are friendly,” I grunted as I lifted myself and sat back on the stool I had been occupying before the incident. The Galnet News feed filled every screen on the tavern, reporting on Emperor Hengis Duvals assassination. I had not been sitting in the bar longer than 10 minutes before an ill-timed comment awarded me the warm welcome from the locals. It was a new personal record.

The old spacer sitting beside me chuckled. “Probably shouldn’t talk lightly about the Emperor dying then. This IS Empire space, after all.”

“Empire, Federation, what’s the difference?” a woman across the bar said nonchalantly. “The only difference it makes is what they consider illicit, so smugglers can make more money bringing it in. Only important thing is who profits.”

I raised my glass to that and nodded. The motion made me wince in pain. I wondered if I could get my kidney replaced, preferably for one that didn’t resort to blinding pain when blunt force was applied to it. “I’ll drink to that. I’ll risk a fine if it means a bit more cash for transporting the same stinking garbage from one system to the next.”

The woman looked at me knowingly. “You looking for a job?” She asked.

“I don’t know. Are you System Security? You have to tell me if you are. It was in some imperial decree by Lady Aisling Duval, wasn't it?”

The woman just laughed, stood up, and motioned me to follow. “My name is Kirea. Not with the authorities. But if you were System Security, I would have a different job to offer you. I… Facilitate things like that.” She said as I limped along. The pain was subsiding, but not nearly fast enough. I wondered if I had organ damage, and if my insurance would cover it. Probably not.

She made her way to the back of the bar towards a table with what looked like a particularly ugly goblin absorbed in a screen. She took a seat besides the creature and gestured the chair opposite her.

“This is Canico. Canico here has a special request”. She said, introducing the goblin who turned out to be not a goblin, but a diminutive person who would not win a beauty contest in any system explored so far. Canico lifted his huge, goggled eyes from the screen and stared at me.

“Most fortunate!” Canico beamed at me. The gesture seemed to shift the abundant wrinkles and creases that covered his face. I was unsure if he was very old or just crumpled all over. “Orbiter or from a planet? Never mind, never mind, no need to answer. You know where most of our animals originated from, right?” He framed it as a question, but it did not seem he expected an answer. He didn’t wait for one, either. “Earth! Well, many of them, or variations of what we have now.”

Everyone knew the pre-space faring history one way or another. Of how early humans had thrown organic life at every rock they deemed halfway habitable once they managed to escape the single planet they lived in. How they built stations and outposts in every system they thought they could squeeze some resources out of. Something we still do. Ask any explorer, you can’t get a moment of peace and quiet in space unless you fly out millions of light years away, and even then you will probably still run into some unsanctioned outpost with some half-crazed scientist researching rocks and alternative uses for them.