OK I'm serious now....For a donation of $2500 Tuna Guys will come to your house, no matter where you live in this country, and cook you dinner. Yes, that's right... Kick back and get fed beautiful fresh seafood by the professionals in the safety and comfort of your own home while we rifle your stash and drink your booze AND make you feel good about that!!! We fabricate Tuna Guy folklore and share it with you and yours as you slip into that Omega-3 coma and fantasize about 20 foot waves breaking over the bow and sweeping all your Tuna Guy angst into one manageable dinner. Be the first to make a donation in this amount and we'll give you the option of entertaining Fry Guy and his beautiful lady at your house as they cook up a meal of fried fish and shrimp that will help you break that stupid "no fried foods" attitude that you think will save your life. Life is short...eat all those things you're not supposed to for one night and WE'LL HELP! I'll even throw in a bottle of 1985 Mondavi Cabernet out of my private collection...there aren't too many of THOSE around, you know. This offer is BIG!! So remember that it's only money, you can't take it with you and we need it! So send it to us and CLOG THOSE ARTERIES !!! (Or exercise your baked dinner option...) Remember that the Tuna Guys love you...really we do...

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