I encourage (or, rather, beg) you to read this indispensable Mark Sumner story about the absolute barking-mad lunacy of suggesting we should abandon social distancing in order to “save” the economy. (The gist? We’d destroy the country, basically.)

Then come back and read this bonkers AF tweet from the grim reaper squatting in the Oval Office:

x The LameStream Media is the dominant force in trying to get me to keep our Country closed as long as possible in the hope that it will be detrimental to my election success. The real people want to get back to work ASAP. We will be stronger than ever before! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) March 25, 2020

I only occasionally respond (via Twitter, at least) to the toxic goblin vomit that disgorges from the tumescent muskmelon head of this gormless sack of fruit bat scrotums, but today I couldn’t help myself:

x I've picked out your Easter Sunday jacket for you. pic.twitter.com/ciy3nEbJXc — Aldous J Pennyfarthing (@AJPennyfarthing) March 25, 2020

Clearly, it’s not really about the stock market after all — because other flesh-and-blood humans are invested in the stock market, and who gives a fuck about them, right?

No, it’s all about Trump’s reelection prospects. And he has two choices: 1) Do the right thing, save potentially millions of lives, and ride off into the sunset knowing you did your level best for your fellow humans or 2) be Donald Trump.

Donald Trump will always choose 2). Which means he’s going to roll the dice and hope it all just works out somehow, even if Grandma’s purpling corpse has to be wheelbarrowed out the back 40 before the Easter lilies are tossed in the trash.

So, yeah, our president is a monster, in case you hadn’t noticed.

Enjoy the rest of your quarantine. Try not to die.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear F*cking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.