Here's a similar sequence playing out with Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. Here's a nearly identical one from Westworld (though to be fair, those are robots, so their bodies may work differently, and also we may be seeing the convergence of multiple confusing timelines there). The point is, if you're a young person using movies and TV as your guide, you'd think straight sex is a matter of some passionate kissing for a few minutes, then penetration followed by an almost immediate, explosive orgasm from her end. No real foreplay or oral sex from the guy -- just a dozen or so thrusts until ecstasy.

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It's like Hollywood is trying to set our teenagers up for sad, abrasive failure. In real life, 75 percent of women can't orgasm from penetration alone. It has nothing to do with any inadequacies on their partners' end; it's just the way they're built. They need mouth and hand stuff, and quite a bit of it. Many, many men have had to learn this the hard way, if they learned at all.

So why are movies so determined to show us a brand of sex that in real life would be both unsatisfying and, well, dry? It partly has to do with the prudish standards of the MPAA. Actress Evan Rachel Wood expressed her dismay on Twitter when one particular sex scene from her recent film was cut short, and unsurprisingly, the shots that ended up on the floor were all of oral sex being performed on a woman.

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That particular act is almost exclusively seen in indie films, and more mainstream films tend to shy away from it in order to avoid an NC-17 rating. Never mind that movies are more than happy to show oral sex on males (see: What's Eating Gilbert Grape?, The Sweetest Thing, Carrie, Casino and thousands of others), this routine act is still considered outrageously deviant even in movies that feature gratuitous sex. You are causing bad sex to happen, Hollywood! Stop it.