ITHACA, NY—Confirming long-held suspicions surrounding bipedal commuting, researchers at Cornell University published a study Monday that found stepping forward with one foot, followed by taking the subsequent step with the other foot and then repeating the sequence as necessary, remains the best method of walking by a large margin. “Our findings show that 99.9 percent of respondents strongly preferred putting one foot forward, usually but not necessarily while moving an opposing arm in conjunction, compared to other methods such as moving both feet forward at once, moving only a single foot forward indefinitely while the other is dragged behind, or taking a series of three quick hops before jumping in the air and spinning completely around while clicking their heels together,” said lead researcher Dr. Hirokazu Miyazaki of the department of biomedical engineering, who used motion-tracking sensors to monitor the gait structures and motive rhythms of more than 1,400 participants during the course of the 18-year, $26.5 million study. “While techniques such as dragging your knuckles on the ground and effecting a sort of mild gallop will certainly take a person from point A to point B, our research proves all such alternative methods are far less efficient than the conventional approach of placing one foot in front of the other.” In a related report, researchers at Marquette University have found that closing one’s eyes and then quickly reopening them remains the most effective method of blinking.

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