by Brett Stevens on December 24, 2009

Normally I detest these “You Might Be a Liberal If…” lists, but I figured this one could be meaningful if it were cut down to size. From Marquette Warrior via Fourth Check Raise:

IQ tests should be used to stop the death penalty, but not to determine admission to AP classes.

The Ten Commandments in schools will hurt the children, but “Heather Has Two Mommies” won’t.

African-American, Queer and Women’s Studies prepare young people for good careers, but a biology major is an outdated relic of white, misogynist domination.

Math tests are racist, but there is nothing racist about blacks being admitted over more qualified white applicants.

McCarthyism was wrong, but black-listing “right-wingers” from ever teaching in college is just plain old common sense. A right-winger is anyone who doesn’t toe the line on all issues.

Education is about “feeling,” not knowing. Logic is the product of white male supremacy in our culture.

The best way to care about a disease is to wear a ribbon. You must also prevent pharmaceutical companies from making a profit.

You preach to everyone that diversity is our greatest strength, but you paid half a million dollars more for a house in an all-white suburb than you could’ve for the same house in a black neighborhood.

You see racist code-words in all media except in hip-hop singles such as “Kill The White People”.

You wonder out loud, “Why can’t we all just get along?”

You oppose all racial prejudice, but think all whites are racist, consciously or not.

Indians created the United States and Europe became great as a result of Islamic influences. On second thought, Europe isn’t great.

Black dominance in basketball is progress, but white dominance in swimming is an outrage.

Racial profiling is wrong, but all serial killers are white and all Mexicans are hard-working family men.

US wants to build a wall on the Mexican and not Canadian border because of racism, not because 20 million Mexicans and almost no Canadians cross into the U.S. illegally.

Prostitution empowers women, but having a man open the door for you is degrading.

You get out of bed, look at your naked body and at your wife’s, and then think: “gender is a social construct that has no basis in science”.

Men stand in front of toilets only to promote male supremacy and should be forced by the government to sit.

Great spirituality is found in Voodoo, but nothing in the Bible.

Gay students should be allowed to publicly kiss in class, but Christians shouldn’t be allowed to quietly pray during a break.

The Christmas tree should be banned from public view, but that anyone objecting to pornography “only has to look the other way.”

When a Western woman travels to the Middle East, she should respect their traditions and cover up. When Moslems illegally infiltrate Europe, they have the right to expect the Westerners to adjust to them. If the Europeans don’t, Moslems have every right to riot.

Child molesters can live anywhere and maintain their privacy, but Wal-Mart should be limited to far-away places where children can’t be exposed to it.

Teenagers can’t control their sexual urges no matter what we do, but child molesters and rapists can after counseling.

Affirmative action is the way to solve racial problems in America.

Quietly reading “The Bell Curve” on the bus is harassment, but keying someone’s car for disagreeing with you is activism.

When rape and murder statistics go up, you blame poverty.

You say, “Why do they hate us?” when America is attacked and “we’re just furthering the cycle of violence” when we retaliate.

Truth matters less than feelings.

None of your friends ever voted for a Republican.

95% of blacks voting for a black guy is normal, but 55% of whites voting for the white candidate is a sign of how flawed our racist voting system is.

You call yourself â€˜progressive’ but oppose all progress because somebody might get fired and replaced by a cheap and more efficient computer program.

People aren’t successful, they are privileged.

People don’t earn. They deserve.

The Christian Right shouldn’t impose their morality on you, but you want to impose big government on everyone else because otherwise they won’t do the right thing.

Playing competitive sports could do permanent harm to teenagers, but smoking weed daily and occasionally trying hard drugs is just something all college students do.

Freedom of speech means the right to scream when a conservative tries to speak in order to prevent anyone from hearing his views.

Everyone who disagrees with you must be reported for racism to your employer, university dean and the police.

The essence of liberalism in every movement worldwide has been this: we do not succeed or fit in what exists, so we will create a fantasy world of morality in which our way is better, and then use that to force others through guilt to come to our side.

This is different than honest morality, which means treating the world with respect and paying attention to the consequences of your actions, and different from honest progress, which means taking what is and making it better using time-proven methods — the scientific method of assess, hypothesize, prototype and repeat.

Liberalism is in short a trend, or social fashion, by which unexceptional people with no purpose or utility to their lives make themselves superstars among their captive audience. Not surprisingly, it leads to fragmentation of civilization and its downfall — as it has in every instance throughout history.

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