Duh-dummmm

Fox News has a business channel which is like reading the Wall Street Journal written and performed by people who have learned economic theory from watching Rambo. Trish Regan is apparently one of these Fox Business hosts and she took time away from reading her copy of Art of the Deal to do a segment on how socialism turns places like Venezuela and Denmark into hellscape welfare states, with never-ending riots for “bread,” and inflation that turns anything you buy into coal instantly. Venezuela is a country that’s easy to place into this box for Fox viewers.

The issues in Venezuela, of course, are not really about socialism as they are about a boom and bust oil economy—ironic right? Anythewhos, the problems in Venezuela are considerably more complicated than simply the boom and bust of a single-resource economy but the idea that “socialism” is the problem in Venezuela right now is laughable. More laughable? Denmark. So, Fox Business tool Trish Regan made the classic rhetorical trick used by truly dumb people everywhere, she made a quip with the word Denmark, connected to something else you might recognize … Shakespeare.

As Shakespeare said, There’s something rotten in Denmark.

[I think I just threw up in my mouth]

In a segment hashtagged #TrishIntel,* Regan takes Denmark to task for providing free education and using taxes to provide its citizens with affordable programs. From here Regan blabbers about the high taxes in Denmark and how “everyone is working for the government.” Also, there’s a “180 percent tax” on cars that you buy! Sounds fucking terrible. Most importantly, according to Regan, because no one has to work, nobody wants to work. Fucking lazy Danes!!!!