Comedian, writer, and actor Patton Oswalt, whose wife, true-crime writer Michelle McNamara, died suddenly on April 21, has posted a heartbreaking essay on his Facebook page about grieving her. One way he’s been coping with his loss is by working to finish the book McNamara was writing when she died, an expansion of her wonderful Los Angeles magazine article “In the Footsteps of a Killer.” The article was an investigation into an uncaught serial killer she dubbed the Golden State Killer. According to Oswalt, “We’re just taking what’s there and letting it tell us how to shape it.”

Oswalt’s thoughts on grief and loss are touching and worth reading in full; his love for his wife and daughter and his gratitude for the people who’ve helped him come through in ways that aren’t well-served by block quotes. But the upshot is that he is slightly better than he was and looks forward to eventually returning to telling jokes again. Which he sort of does toward the end of the post, with this cheery, accurate assessment of our current situation:

Reality is in a death spiral and we seem to be living in a cackling, looming nightmare-swamp. We’re all being dragged into a shadow-realm of doom by hateful lunatics who are determined to send our planet careening into oblivion.

Read his full post below: