Attending a wedding comes with its own set of social graces. The Onion provides a list of basic rules of etiquette for being a polite, congenial wedding guest:

Spare the bride and groom the logistical headache of tracking all those RSVP cards by simply showing up.



Feel free to purchase a wedding gift that the couple has not included in their registry, but be advised that they might already have a hacksaw they’re happy with.



Speak up about dietary issues in advance. Most caterers are happy to provide extra protein if you’re in the middle of an epic bulking cycle.



Remember not to smash cake into the bride’s face until the groom has had the first shot at it.



It’s generally considered impolite to take advantage of an open bar past the point of recouping your flight and hotel costs.



Do your best to make conversation with whomever is seated at your table. They’re bound to have as much good dirt on the bride as you do.



Let the hosts know if you must cancel at the last minute so they can take the proper measures to cut you out of their lives.



If they do that gross thing with the garter, just go with it. This is their day.