I’d like to bring awareness to some cutting edge scientific research on carbon sequestration. Recently, scientists have discovered a mechanism that actually reclaims carbon from the atmosphere and converts it into materials that can be used to build animal habitats and sustainable ecosystems. This technology has been shown to be extremely practical, and experts hope to one day see it installed in backyards nationwide. Up to this point, most similar proposed tech has proven to be too expensive, or impractical. Fortunately, this technology, known as “Terrestrial Reclamation of Excess Emissions via Sequestration” (or TREES), is actually very inexpensive. Some private businesses actually sell TREES in small packets at specialty stores for under $10, and some produce vendors may provide a few TREES with each purchase! TREES is not without some cons, though.

Installations of TREES are often large, and sometimes block views, but more and more people are actually considering TREES to be beautiful in itself, and are actually happy about the beautiful seasonal color variants and the provided shade.

Another downside to TREES is an annual shedding of carbon that takes place during the winter months. Some users consider this a nuisance, but many have capitalized on the situation, and actually rake all this carbon into a pile and set it ablaze. While this does release some of that carbon back into the atmosphere, it also gives you roasted marshmallows.

If the shedding is a problem for you, consider investing in “Pollution Ingesting Needled Emission Sequestrators” (PINES) that are hard at work all year long and shed much less carbon. Some PINES advocates say they enjoy the benefits of the minimal carbon sheds by making bird feeders out of the waste materials.

Endless variants of TREES exist, so whatever your preference is, there is a version for you. For the sweet tooths out there, go with the “Mechanism for Arresting Pollution to Limit Emissions” (MAPLE) which is well-known for its sugary by-products, and if you prefer to keep the doctor away, the “Absorbing Pollution Plus Lowering Emissions” (APPLE) variant will suit your needs.

This story inspired by a CNN headline from last month…

From CNN — February 15th, 2017.

Black Mirror anyone?