Sometimes as I watch TV, I picture a dusty filing cabinet labeled STUFF LADIES DO sitting in the corner of every writers' room. It's got folders on the standard activities every woman engages in, if you believe television, like talking to ourselves in the mirror or driving beige SUVs with Cheerios all over the backseat. Also included: detailed descriptions of women who come up again and again in shows, even though they're frustratingly so not us in real life. (Only 28 percent of people behind the scenes in TV are female, so you can understand where the disconnect comes from.) These six stereotypes are all over this year's new shows:

The bitchy cheerleader, as seen in Red Band Society (Fox). Note to TV execs: The whole "spirited blond stuck in a permanent eye roll" thing is 30 years past its prime. P.S. Cheerleaders don't actually wear their skimpy uniforms five days a week.

The female cop who still needs a guy to crack the case, as seen on Stalker (CBS). In this thriller, Maggie Q plays a high-achieving hard-ass who tracks down criminals. But in episode one she's rendered silent as Dylan McDermott rattles off a litany of clues she simply can't see...and then he goes on to save the day. An honorable mention goes to ABC's Forever, which features an immortal dude one-upping a lady detective with his deductive reasoning. How did she get anything done before he came along?

The girl whose main job is being impressed by a "genius" guy, as seen on Scorpion (CBS). Poor Katharine McPhee must stand there as Elyes Gabel gives her one look, assesses her cheap shoes, and concludes she's a single mom. Exactly zero women would find this asshole-ery charming in real life, so why are we pretending it is on TV?

The girl who exists only when a superhero needs to look superhero-y, as seen on The Flash (CW). Candice Patton plays Flash's best friend and is the show's female lead. Yet her big lines include: "Who is that guy?" She follows that up with feeling the Flash's heartbeat and saying, "Feels really fast."

The supposedly adorable klutz, as seen on Manhattan Love Story (ABC). Answer me this: Would you really smell your pits while staring at your reflection right next to the window of the restaurant where you're going on a blind date? On the same day you accidentally called the guy while trying to text him, then said, "I dinner would like"? Writers, FYI, there's oddball, and then there's drunk.

The unrealistically messy hot mess, as seen on Bad Judge (NBC). A hot mess ceases to feel original when she checks off every bad-girl trait with premeditated precision. Kate Walsh plays a judge but has sex at work, makes the bailiff hold her pregnancy test, moonlights in a band named Lady Cock, and has cake and wine for breakfast. Bad girl? Clichéd girl. And incidentally, cake and wine aside, Walsh (and all of us) deserves better.

What types of characters do you never want to see on TV again?

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