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Tom the Dancing Bug by Ruben Bolling Investigation Into Anti-American Elements In U.S. Government Anti-American Activity: Barack Obama's proposal to raise the tax rate on the top income bracket from 35¢ to 39¢ -- a shamelessly Socialist redistribution of wealth. Summary of Results: Shockingly, we found that many commies, pinkos and subversives with ideas far more radical even than Obama's had already infiltrated the highest reaches of American government and political philosophy. Adam Smith Wrote that it's reasonable for the wealthy to pay taxes at a higher rate than the poor. We were very surprised to find out that the FOUNDER OF CAPITALISM, who died 28 years before Karl Marx was born, was a dirty, stinking commie. Bill "Hammer and Sickle" Clinton Under Clinton's evil anti-American reign, the tax rate on the top bracket was the same 39% Obama is proposing, and America suffered through the longest economic expansion in its history. Dwight "Bolshevik" Eisenhower Makes Obama look like Gordan Gekko. Under his presidency (with a Republican congress), the U.S. had a 91% top tax rate. Welcome to the collective, Ike. Richard "The Red" Nixon Top tax bracket under Nixon's spread-the-wealth regime: 70%. There was a certain commie hunter congressman from California in the 1950s who would have liked to have gotten his hands on this pinko. John McCain In 2001, voted AGAINST lowering the top tax rate from 39% to Bush's proposed 35$. "Comrade" McCain defended the progressive tax system, denying that it's Socialism: "When you reach a certain level of comfort, there's nothing wrong with paying somewhat more." CONCLUSION: Suspect many more Americans believe in this commie so-called "progressive tax system." RECOMMENDATION: Domestic spying, enhanced interrogations, purges, re-education gulags -- to root out such radicals and undesirables. These measures must be taken to ensure pro-American values in the motherland.