The Washington Capitals defeated the Vancouver Canucks 3-1 Tuesday for their tenth straight win at home. While that’s awesome, I’m going to have to speak with a therapist tomorrow to process all the bizarre stuff that happened during the game.

To use a Stranger Things metaphor, this game felt like it was played at Capital One Arena in the Upside Down. All that was missing was the Mind Flayer.

Here’s a list.

1) Canucks challenge John Carlson goal for non-existent goalie interference

The Capitals’ first goal of the game came after a Canucks player nearly mousetrapped Jacob Markstrom in his own net. It gets weirder. During the resulting chaos, John Carlson scored on a slap shot as Canucks players put the net back down on the ice.

As everyone on the ice looked around confused, the officials congregated at center ice and agreed it was a good goal. Okay cool. But then… Canucks head coach Travis Green challenged the goal due to goaltender interference! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ The only problem was there were no Capitals players even remotely near Markstrom. Maybe Green mistook the net for a Caps player? I don’t know the rationale, but officials ruled there was no goaltender interference and the goal stood. I will never get those five minutes back.

2) Slapshot breaks drum after hitting it too hard

Every home game, the Caps mascot will bang a drum to start a chant. On this random night, Slapshot, with all his fury unleashed, drummed so hard he broke his instrument. The Capitals’ slogan this year has been #ALLCAPS, but this is literally first #ALLCAPS thing I’ve seen all year.

3) Erik Gudbranson punches puck into his own net

Evgeny Kuznetsov scored to make it 3-1, but the primary assist ought to belong to Erik Gudbranson. As Markstrom made the initial save on Kuzy, Gudbranson punched the puck into his own net. What I love is that he pointed to officials, insinuating that Kuzy struck the puck with a high stick. Nope. Sorry, Erik.

4) These sombrero people

.@russianmachine Do any of you all know why there are folks dancing in sombreros at the game tonight? 🤣🤣 pic.twitter.com/UElLRbhDcC — Katie (@That_WriterGirl) January 10, 2018

Capital One Arena was treated to several dancing fans wearing sombreros. On last check, tonight is January 9 and not Cinco De Mayo and anyway that’s cultural appropriation, but you do you, Caps fans.

5) Linesman too sick to ref

NHL: Linesman Greg Devorski will not return to the Canucks/Capitals game due to illness. The game will continue with two referees and one linesman. — CapitalsPR (@CapitalsPR) January 10, 2018

After the first period concluded, Linesman Greg Devorski left the game due to what we’re guessing is the ol’ north and south. This was a first for me in my two decades plus of watching hockey. I’ve never seen a referee leave a game due to illness.

6) Tom Wilson nearly decapitates Jakub Vrana

JAKUB WATCH OUT!

7) NHL.com says Lars Eller scored goal on his own goalie

Kinda weird he scored it on his own goalie according to https://t.co/wgj6FbUWAK pic.twitter.com/cO4NEKyhDS — Bill Shields (@capsfan74) January 10, 2018

Everybody’s favorite still-not-functioning-correctly website is at it again with this scoring error.

8) Jacob Markstrom’s mask

There’s something going on with Markstrom’s mask but I just can’t put my finger on it. 🤔

9) Devante Smith-Pelly fights Ben Hutton after a… Brooks Orpik breakaway?

We can argue about the fight (DSP won), we can argue about the hit (dirty), we can argue about the penalties (unfairly distributed), but there must be no argument about the unprecedented weirdness and glory that was the Brooks Orpik breakaway.

10) Dmitry Orlov videobombed Kuzy’s intermission interview

Orly you walk behind the camera not in front of it when the red light is on.

11) Closed captioning goes haywire

Evgeny Kuznetsov tells Al Koken about his goal, “By the way, it’s not lucky bounce.” Arena closed captioning, no joke: “By the way, Tom likes your balls.” — Alex Prewitt (@alex_prewitt) January 10, 2018

Yup. What a weird night.

Full RMNB Coverage of Caps vs Canucks