I want my son to explore the world first and choose what he wants:

CK Vineeth

It is a matter of pride to be without religion and caste: Jeevan

It will take years and a lot of counter conditioning to come out of it completely: Thaniya K Leela

What the world thinks doesn’t matter, as long as we are convinced: Sajan

Conditioning in the past makes it difficult to be secular even if one tries hard: Mamas

Six-year-old Manav came home from school one day and asked his mom, “Amme, nammal ambalakkarano atho pallikkarano?” His mom, a law academician, was surprised to hear such a query from Manav, whom she had been bringing up without even mentioning about the divisions in society in the name of Gods and demigods. It took her a while to explain to Manav the reasons why he is different from his classmates.There is hope for those like Manav’s mother now, as the figures released by the Kerala government indicate that there are a lot of students who have opted not to fill the caste or religion column while seeking admissions in schools. As the debate is still on about the actual number of the ‘casteless’ students, we speak to five people who took the decision to go casteless even before the current discussions started.Vineeth had recently made headlines when he openly declared that he doesn’t want his newborn son to have a religion. He would let him decide for himself once he reached a certain age, he said. Quiz him on what prompted him to do so, and Vineeth says confidently, “In my 30 years, I have seen religion, caste or any hierarchy in society only dividing rather than uniting people. I find such an identity unnecessary. We are human beings and that is more than enough.”Vineeth became a dad on February 23. “As a parent, I don’t think I should impose religious thoughts in my son even before he realises what he is. I am letting him free and want him to explore the world and choose whatever he wants,” he says. Vineeth’s family was completely in favour of his decision. “My parents are very open-minded and they filled the caste column in my school records only because it was compulsory. However, my wife’s parents were a bit worried. But I convinced them,” says the footballer who is planning to name his little boy after his favourite footballer. “I don’t want my child to be known after me, my wife or our family. His surname will be Steve, after Steven Gerrard.”I feel unique, not different,” says Class 9 student Jeevan. He and his sister Sneha (in Class 2) grew up without any religious orientations, without filling any such columns. It was a mutual decision of his parents, Higher Secondary teacher Thankachan Thomas and University Section officer Vijayasree that their children grow up without religion. “We had made that decision before marriage and were ready to face the consequences. So far, our children have not faced any issues,” says Thankachan. Jeevan used to face a lot of questions when he was small from his classmates and teachers. “My father had explained to me the reasons and I used to tell them the same.Thaniya K Leela was born in 1990 to secular-minded parents PM Balakrishnan and Leela. “It was the year when there was an increased discussion on bringing up children without religious conditioning. Neither Thaniya nor her sister Tharima have mentioned caste in their SSLC application form. “Some of my dad’s friends’ children too were non-religious with no caste ,” she recollects.The family had to undergo a bit of ‘counselling’ from her school authorities while filling up the form, though. “I was the only one in my school without caste or religion. They said it will be tough for me to survive. But my dad stood strong. I never faced any issues, probably because I have an upper caste background,” she says. Thaniya divulges that she and her sister always had a feeling that they were different from the rest. “We were always confused as we were never able to gel with the others. Also we had no clue what to follow and what not to in terms of rituals, customs and traditions,” she says. Thaniya’s and Tharima’s partners too were chosen based on their intellectual and professional compatibility, not religious. “My marriage was a decision made by me and my partner as individuals. Tharima’s was through a matrimony site and filtering on the basis of religion was done at the initial stage itself.She got a partner who has no religious inclinations,” she explains. However, there is always a vagueness about certain things, she admits. “Though my sister has no religion , for her wedding, there were customs like tying the knot and also applying sindhoor. Caste is a matter of conditioning and I think it will take years and a lot of counter conditioning to come out of it completely,” she says. After meeting Thaniya, her husband Aji Anand too dropped religion and caste from his life. “I think a change will happen only if people take strong initiatives. Only then will there be followers and inspirations. The current discussion gives hope, and eventually the thought that dropping religion is a privilege of the upper caste too will vanish. That is what even Ambedkar wanted,” she says. Thaniya’s children Siddhartha (2) and Milarepa (3 months) are also on the same track now.Now they don’t treat me as someone different,” he says, adding that he never felt the need for caste. “I visit temples and churches and also participate in the festivities but I don’t think I should be blindly following anything without logic,” he says. Jeevan reveals that he enjoys the appreciation he gets from the rest. “Many actually congratulate my parents,” he says animatedly. Jeevan’s sister too is now facing questions from her classmates. “I have told her that we don’t need to feel like fish out of water. It should be a matter of pride instead,” says Jeevan.Filmmaker Sajan and his wife Hema are elated to be part of the latest discussions on casteless Kerala, as Hema was always worried that their children might feel out of place at school for not filling caste and religion columns in school. “Now, we feel proud of it. Our children Jayanth and Sidhanth have already set an example,” says Sajan, who has serious issues with the ideas of religion and caste. “I don’t think it is fair to forcefully instil such thoughts in children even before they see the world,” he says. “Let the future generations be devoid of such biases at least,” he says. Jayanth is now seven and Sidhanth, five.Though believers, the couples’ families are very progressive and respect individual freedom. “So there was no issue at home while taking the decision. We don’t care what the world thinks if we are convinced,” says Sajan.Way back in the 80s it wasn’t easy for filmmaker Mamas and Chinnu’s father KK Ramachandran to convince society on why he wanted his children to grow up without caste or religion. Mamas recollects, “During my school admissions, the school authorities said there was no option to join without mentioning my caste. My dad literally fought with them and filled the column as ‘nil’. He didn’t even want our names to reflect any religion,” he says, adding that neither he nor his 30-year old sister had any issues in their lives because of this. “We both found our partners by ourselves. My dad actually gave us the freedom of choice. The value of that freedom is immeasurable,” he says. Mamas says he can’t agree with the conditioning society infuses even in newborns in the name of religion or caste. “When there is conditioning in the past, even when we try hard to be secular, it becomes impossible. But if one grows up without religion or caste, their thoughts will be always neutral,” he says, adding that if more people decide to follow the trend after understanding the reason behind it clearly, the world will be a better place for sure.