DEAR DEIDRE: AFTER I met a cute guy in a club, we hooked up again the following night and had sex.

I haven’t seen him since but it felt like a fabulous shot in the arm — and the next day I split from the guy I’ve been seeing for nearly five years. Now I’m asking myself why.

2 I had sex with a guy I met at a club and it was like a jab in the arm Credit: Alamy

I’m 21 and met my boyfriend when we were 15. I thought he was perfect and he was devoted to me. I felt lucky to have found my soulmate so young.

I seemed right on track for a wonderful life until six months ago. Then It started to worry me that he was the only guy I’d ever been with.

I started to stress that he was too old-acting and too staid for his age. He was already planning our marriage and future careers when most guys his age are down the pub enjoying themselves.

I had always been faithful to him and when I had sex with that other guy last month that was the first time I’d ever cheated on him. But it made me realise something was wrong.

2 I had been with my boyfriend since I was 15 and he was planning our wedding Credit: Alamy

I thought it was best if we split up, as I knew I needed some time on my own.

I wish I wasn’t so young when we’d met. If I was older, I wouldn’t mind him being a bit boring and not loving crazy nights out or a skinful of alcohol. As it was, I felt I’d missed out on all those fun kinds of things.

I’m happy to be on my own at the moment, as I need to experience life and find out who I am. But I’d love to end up with my very first guy, as I know that we’d have a great marriage and still be in love.

Sometimes I worry: “What the hell have I done?” I love him so much and I know he loved me.

He won’t speak to me now and it breaks my heart. What if he finds someone else? The thought terrifies me.

topic4today PEOPLE change and our lives change so it takes care and attention for our relationships to survive happily. My e-leaflet Relationship MoT can help you avoid a crisis. For a copy, email me at problems@deardeidre.org or private message me on my DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page.

Popular Dear Deidre problems first cut Caught my girl in bed with another man... then he did something I didn't expect SEX WITH SISTER I had sex with my sister and now we are having a full-on relationship HOTEL HELL My girl's wild step-sister seduced me in toilets and I'm disgusted with myself Little secret My brother-in-law is my daughter's real father... and my husband has no idea More, more, more! Hot romps with sex-on-legs housemate always leaves me wanting more FAMILY AFFAIR Family are furious over my hot sex with brother's sister in law Guilty sex I had hot sex with my 53-year-old mum-in-law while my wife was on life support Blackmailed I've been bedding my 'uncle' and now his son is blackmailing me into having sex anti-climax Love my girlfriend, but find I get more pleasure from porn than sex with her FESTI-FAIL I had hot sex at Glastonbury... but I was the 20th guy she'd bedded that weekend

DEIDRE SAYS: If you are not ready, it won’t work. It was difficult but breaking up was the right choice.

You want to find out who you are but you won’t find the answer in a bar with a skinful. Think about what you would like to achieve four or five years down the line, say.

Don’t waste your time when you need to get busy and start making plans. Get travelling, get training, get out of your comfort zone, find a new job.

Your ex will respect you much more if you have made the best use of your time and not wasted your youth in a pub. You will have more to give him if you meet up again or if you find someone new.

Either way, you will achieve so much more for yourself – and that is what matters most of all.

Get in touch with Deidre today Got a problem? Send an email to problems@deardeidre.org. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays. You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page. Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.