I’ve always wanted to write an op-ed, but I think this is the closest I’ll ever get. All I’ve seen recently are pieces counting down Madison Bumgarner’s final moments with the Giants — “third to last start,” “second to last stank-eye,” “last snotrocket after a strikeout.” Most lump him in with Bochy on their way out the door — end of an era and all that. Sometimes, I was even the one writing them.

But here’s the thing: Deep down, I don’t really think Madison Bumgarner is going anywhere.

I know. Farhan Zaidi is a cold, calculating, computer-man hybrid. He cares not for the championship memories and emotional attachments which nourish our baseball soul. He’s only thinking about tomorrow’s WAR. But he also wants to win, and when he looks at his rotation next year, he’s going to see it’s quite thin.

Even if you assume health and success for both Jeff Samardzija and Johnny Cueto — and I think we all realize that is asking a lot — that leaves three spots to fill. If Tyler Beede and Logan Webb are ready in his estimation (major league ERAs be damned) and he thinks they can give him 30+ starts — also asking a lot — that still leaves one spot. While it’s nice to hope for help from the minors, guaranteeing a spot in the rotation to whoever wins your spring training cage match is no way to run a winning franchise. Even if you’re a Sean Hjelle zealot.

So that would lead one to think will be at least one substantial free agent signing. The question is, what kind of signing(s) would that be? And while Zaidi is clearly more of the value shopper, finding treasure in another team’s trash, he’s been much better at uncovering hitters than pitchers. Bumgarner would give him a relatively known commodity — a good starting pitcher who’s declining, but not at an alarming rate. A reliable inning eater and respected veteran to helm the staff and shepherd the team’s young starters.

Oh, and that position flexibility Zaidi values so much? Well, Bumgarner has experience playing both PH and DH. If there can be a place for Brian Sabean in this new-fangled organization, why not Bumgarner?

Another key factor: Larry Baer. As long as he has been with the Giants, they’ve done their best to both a) re-sign their own star players, and b) keep Giants legends in the fold in some way, shape, or form. Signing Bumgarner checks both those boxes. It would keep the fan base engaged with the Giants glory of the recent past, and also hold onto a fan favorite who’s still good enough to be the ace of the staff. It would prove to their paying customers the Giants are both trying to win, and not too cheap to spend for big names. That’s why the Giants have famously found extra money for the payroll if the right big name free agent could be had — from as far back as Greg Maddux to as recently as Bryce Harper.

So there are several and varied reasons the Giants would want to keep Bumgarner, but you may ask, why would Bumgarner want to stay with them? To which, I say, why not?

You can’t think about Bumgarner as you do a regular player. A regular player doesn’t continue to farm and chop wood and do hard labor in the off-season. A regular player doesn’t rope cattle, chop up snakes, and nurse bunny rabbits to life. A regular player doesn’t become enraged when a hitter gives the smallest indication that they feel they might’ve fouled back a somewhat hittable pitch, and curse him out.

Bumgarner is what he is. He likes what he likes, and he doesn’t like what he doesn’t like. I get the feeling he likes being a Giant. Yes, I think a big part of that is Bruce Bochy, the only big league manager he’s ever known, but that’s going to change no matter where he plays next year. He’d be giving up pitching to Buster Posey, though I think he has to realize that day isn’t too far off no matter what. Overall, Bumgarner strikes me as someone who might choose comfort over a few more million dollars or a quicker shot another title.

Don’t get me wrong, Bumgarner is human. He likes money, and the chance at the postseason next year like anybody else. And it’s possible he might even feel it’s time for a change. He might be dying to play for a team closer to home. (Congratulations Braves!) If so, we better really appreciate his last start against the Dodgers. But I think the only reason they didn’t lock him up already is because he kept getting injured. Even though they were freak accidents, not worrisome, age-related injuries, it still presented the Giants with a reason to wait and see.

If I had to put my money on the team he plays for next year, it would be the Giants. I see a future where Bumgarner plays his whole career in San Francisco, then literally rides off into the sunset on a horse, through the left field gate and straight out to pasture.

Wait. Maybe I’m confusing what I want with what I think will happen. I can’t be sure. I’m so high on Bumgarner nostalgia right now, I can’t tell anymore.