The makers of the Titanic would like to welcome you aboard Titanic II.

The producers of the Edsel urge you to sit behind the wheel of the Edsel 2.

It’s New-New Coke. Same great taste as New Coke, but with more Newer

There’s good news for those of you who loved Howard the Duck.

The media-creators of the Russia Collusion Hoax now bring you the Mueller Report Cover Up Hoax!

Yes, America is divided politically, but for just a moment can I get a collective groan of Not this shit again.

Deep State Cuck HQ: “The Mueller report is more than 300 pages long. We’ve seen 101 words.”

Russia Hoax Central Command: “Mueller Report Exceeds 300 Pages, Raising Questions About Four-Page Summary”

Russia Hoaxstress Queen: “[T]he Mueller report is over 300 pages long, that doesn’t tell us anything about what’s in it, but it does raise further questions about why thus far we’re only allowed to see less than 50 words[.]”

Someone Who’s Never Heard of a Book Report: “How on earth was Barr able to digest and summarize a 300+ page report in less than 48 hours?”

I could go on and on…

Let’s begin with the beguine…

First off, it was the Russia Hoaxsters at the New York Times who reported on the 300 page length of the Mueller Report.

The New York Times, y’all.

So after two years of the New York Times lying to us about our president being a Russia spy, what say we all just take everything they report now as gospel.

Please.

Secondly, assuming the Times report is true… so what?

I once got a C+ for summarizing a 175 page Hardy Boys mystery — The Missing Chums — down to less than a page. It was my first year of college.

But here we go again…

HERE.

WE.

GO.

AGAIN.

The Russia Hoaxsters got a whole new Russia Hoax, and this one is just as stupid and desperate as the last one, so please allow me to count the ways…

Why would Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, the Poindexter who originally sicced Special Counsel Robert Mueller on Trump, the Dirty Cop who told Trump to fire FBI Director James Comey and then used the firing as his excuse to appoint a Special Counsel, sign off on the four page summary if it was bullshit?

Why would Attorney General Bill Barr release a four page summary to cover up all the terrible things that are really in the report knowing 1) he would someday release the full report and 2) the report is eventually going to leak?

And here’s my favorite…

Special Counsel Robert Mueller dropped a bomb on BuzzFeed after that hack outfit published fake news, so does anyone honestly believe Mueller would remain quiet if Barr’s four page summary was in any way misleading?

Would Mueller’s gang of assistant prosecutors and investigators, almost all of whom donated to Hillary Clinton’s campaign, remain silent if the four page summary was a cover up?

Hey, make no mistake, I want the Mueller Report released, or at least as much of it as possible. Obviously national security concerns have to be respected and I do not want any information or innuendo released against someone who was not charged with a crime, and that includes the president. This is still America where prosecutors are not supposed to download on the innocent.

But we are going to see the Mueller Report. We are. And the Russia Hoaxsters at the far-left CNN and the far-left Washington Post and the far-left New York Times and the far-left NBC know we are going to see it.

But here they all are ginning up a new hoax, a new conspiracy theory, and in the case of Max Boot, a conspiracy theory so goddamned stupid I can only close with this:

How on earth was Barr able to digest and summarize a 300+ page report in less than 48 hours? https://t.co/eqU0YHC4bO — Max Boot (@MaxBoot) March 28, 2019

Area columnist believes it is easier to create democracies in the Middle East than to read a 300-page document. — Jim Antle (@jimantle) March 28, 2019

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.