Forget the fireworks and celebrate from your sofa

Feel the patriotism with this calendar of Fourth of July TV programming

It’s time to celebrate our wonderful country, and the great thing about the land of the free is that you’re welcome to appreciate it in any way you please. So, if outdoor grilling and fireworks aren’t for you, stay home and feel as patriotic as you please with this selection of shows, movies, and sports (and fireworks) airing over the holiday weekend.

Saturday

Men in Black, 3:05 p.m. ET, MTV

Well-dressed, hilarious heroes: Who else would you want to celebrate with?

Independence Day: Resurgence, 3:45 p.m. ET, HBO

Nothing says “Yay, America!” like battling aliens on the nation’s birthday. Also, it’s named after the holiday: no brainer.

International Friendly Soccer: U.S. vs. Ghana, 5 p.m. ET, ESPN

It may not be our strongest sport, but that’s all the more reason to celebrate if we win.

Erin Brockovich, 5:45 p.m. ET, HBO

America’s sweetheart Julia Roberts proves the working class underdog can make a difference; a classic American notion.

Legally Blonde, 7:48 p.m. ET, Bravo

Blondes have more fun in America and they can go to law school based on their looks. What a country.

Sunday:

Lincoln, 4:05 p.m. ET, Showtime

An important reminder of the quality of our former leaders.

Twister, 5:30 p.m. ET, AMC

A very American weather disaster.

The Patriot, 6 p.m. ET, BBC America

Dear America, we’re really sorry for denying you independence for all those years and fighting with you. As a sign of our contrition, please accept this movie about the Revolutionary War with the two leads played by Australians (one of many other countries we colonized).

XOXO,

British Broadcasting Corporation

Free State of Jones, 6:35 p.m. ET, Showtime

It’s American Civil War drama this time. There’s no denying Matthew McConaughey is a national treasure.

The Perfect Catch, 7 p.m. ET, Hallmark Channel

A cheesy love story and baseball; a truly American recipe for success.

The Parent Trap, 7 p.m. ET, MTV

Another chance for America and Britain to come together, both represented by the inimitable Lindsay Lohan.

MLB Baseball: Nationals at Cardinals, 8 p.m. ET, ESPN

Nothing stirs up feelings of patriotism like America’s pastime.

X-Men Apocalypse, 8:30 p.m. ET, HBO

Because in America, we celebrate our differences — and that includes mutants.

American Ninja Warrior, 9 p.m. ET, NBC

It may have started off as a Japanese show, but the spirit of this competition is very American.

American Grit, 9 p.m. ET, FOX

The show embodies the military pathos “no man left behind.” What more do you need to know? Go, Team America, go!

Monday July 3:

Bring It On marathon on E!

Fight to the Finish, 12 p.m. ET; In It to Win It, 2 p.m. ET; All or Anything, 4 p.m. ET; Bring It On, 6 p.m. ET

Cheerleading: The unofficial American pastime.

The Patriot on repeat from 6 p.m. until 1 a.m. ET, BBC America

Um, hi, us again. No hard feelings, eh?

The Top 10 Most Patriotic Movie Moments, streaming now on PEN Network

The People/Entertainment Weekly Network brightens your Monday with this hourlong special. View a clip at the top of this post, and watch the full show here or on the free PEN app available for your Smart TV, mobile, and web devices.

Fourth of July:

Independence Day, 12 p.m. and 3 p.m. ET, E!

Again, the title says it all.

Pearl Harbor, 1:50 p.m. ET, HBO

You won’t be able to watch Ben Affleck and Josh Hartnett defend our country in World War II and not be awash with national pride.

Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides, 5 p.m. ET, A&E

Nothing overly American about this one other than the fact it’s part of a franchise that should’ve never had a sequel.

National Treasure, 5:45 p.m. ET, MAX

A national treasure, indeed.

Sully, 7:50 p.m. ET, HBO

A modern day American hero’s tale.

Armageddon, 8 p.m. ET, A&E

Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, and NASA save the world (but mostly America) from an asteroid.

MLB Baseball: Red Sox at Rangers, 8 p.m. ET, ESPN

More classic American sport.

Macy’s 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular, 8 p.m. ET, NBC

Yes, you should feel obliged to watch this live stream of the display in New York City. Performers include Lady Antebellum, Brad Paisley, and Hailee Steinfeld.

Jason Bourne,9:30 p.m. ET,HBO

A former CIA agent is hunted by his own country. Um, yeah, happy birthday, America.