February 2, 2010

(Some entries bear repeating. . . )

Question: I was talking to a friend and she told me "she tried" Buddhism but the following was her reason for not pursuing it further: "I don't think that it is a good thing to detach from the body and all emotions. I believe that passion and emotions are part of the best part of being human. So... pure detachment leaves me feeling un-human."

Response: I imagine "pure detachment" would leave any reasonable person feeling un-human. But Buddhism does not teach pure detachment.

In Buddhism, the opposite of attachment is not detachment but rather non-attachment. Detachment is unresponsive and removed from emotions. Non-attachment allows us to feel the emotions but not become trapped by them. When we are non-attached, we still care but we no longer discriminate, feeling love for this person and aversion for another. When we practice non-attachment, we are letting go of worries and expectations. We are fully engaged in what we do, but we realize the act of doing is all we control. As Master Kuang-ch'in said, "Non-attachment does not mean indifference or carelessness, but rather you should do your best and not worry about the results."

Neither do we "detach from the body." We wisely realize it is not permanent and that it is not our true self. It is a temporary dwelling for this lifetime. But we still need to take care of it and treat it with respect as we try to find the balance between hedonism and asceticism.

Those I know who excel at non-attachment are some of the most engaged, hard-working, and cheerful people I know. Practicing as the Buddha taught, they are a joy to be around. Just thinking of them makes me smile.