Rams @ Niners

Story to watch: In a season marred by early round injuries, frustration, and overall disappointment at the running back position, a pair of true RB1s are emerging on the golden coast. The 49ers usage of Carlos Hyde reminds me of Seth Rogen’s dice throw dance move in Knocked Up. It might seem like they’re using him too much, but he’s all they’ve got, really. Not that his owners are going to complain. Chuck Hyde looks like a true RB1 (albeit one saddled to a terrible offense), who has proven that he deserves the volume regardless of matchup. I think he’ll show out on Thursday night against a Rams unit that ranks 29th against the run so far.

Ditto goes for Hyde’s LA Counterpart, Todd Gurley II. There were times during last week’s game when I thought I stepped into the time machine back to 2015. My hopes were dashed when I saw Nazi rallies on the news and a story about the Juggalos marching on Washington, but Gurley’s performance did its part in convincing me that I stumbled back to better days. The 3rd year running back showed some vintage burst on outside runs vs. the Redskins last week. He still showed questionable vision on inside runs, but he flashed some UGA moves when the Rams were able to get him into space, which McVay seems dedicated to doing this season (wow, what a concept). He also fumbled twice, but for now at least, he will continue to enjoy the most unparalleled usage in the league this side of Le’veon Bell. He’s in line for a great night against a 49ers front that was gashed by Seattle’s Chris Carson and a league-worst offensive line. Don’t call it a comeback yet, but one more positive performance should result in a more confident and assertive Gurley that we last saw during his rookie season.

Safe Bets: You’re definitely playing the RBs (Todd Gurley and Carlos Hyde if you understandably skipped to this section). Outside of them, there aren’t too many plays that would qualify as “safe” in this matchup, but depending on your definition of the word, Jared Goff could provide low-end (as in the very bottom) QB1 numbers this week. He looked pretty good last week and there’s always the chance of Todd Gurley taking a 5 yard check down in for a score.

Hope For The Best: There was a lot of hype for whitest sounding player Cooper Kupp during the preseason, and so far he has definitely backed it up. He’s clearly Goff’s favorite target, and his ability to catch anything thrown near him is a vital tool for a developing QB who’s still working out the kinks with his mechanics. Kupp could’ve had a touchdown last week on a better thrown pass in the red zone, but he made a spectacular adjustment to make the grab anyway just short of the goal line. He’s a reliable option for 5 catches, 60-70 yards, and possibly a touchdown. On the 49ers side, Pierre Garcon is really the only receiving option even worth thinking about, and even that might be a stretch. I got a lot of shit for leaving him off of this list before the season, and so far I feel somewhat vindicated. The Niners passing game simply doesn’t have the upside with Hoyer under center, but there’s always hope for some garbage time points from Garcon.

Hell No: You shouldn’t need me to tell you to never start Brian Hoyer, especially with Aaron Donald and Robert Quinn chasing him around all night. Sammy Watkins has all the talent in the world, but for right now at least, he just doesn’t appear to be a factor in this offense. That could change as the season goes on and defenses bring different schemes and adjust, but for now he needs to show me something until I confidently plug him in a lineup. (Disclaimer: this probably means that Sammy Watkins will now have The Sammy Watkins Game – 6 catches, 171 yards, two touchdowns.)

Post-Game Headline: “New look Rams pound Niners behind vintage Gurley Performance.”

Saints @ Panthers

Story To Watch: The Panthers offense hasn’t just looked like dog shit; It’s been like the kind of in-progress dog shit where the dog looks back at you during the act with a combination of shame and embarrassment in its eyes, forcing you to avert your gaze until it’s over. Not to put too fine a point on it, but Cam has looked atrocious in this uninspired offense in the early going, and he just lost Greg Olsen for the season (or at least for a long time). The real story is if Cam and the Panthers can rebound at home against the Saints defense, which traditionally has been manna from heaven for offensive coordinators. Cam’s killer 2015 campaign is looking more and more like the Panthers caught lightning in a bottle, but for this Sunday at least, we’ll see if he can recapture some of that superman dust from the MVP year. If not, it might be time to hit the waiver wire…

Safe Bets: Despite what I said above, you have to start Cam Newton this week in a plus spot at home. Same goes for Drew Brees, who is producing despite Sean Payton’s ineptitude in the early going. It’s hard to envision the Saints winning more than 6 games based on what we’ve seen so far. Don’t let that stop you from starting Michael Thomas, though. He has 18 targets so far in a high-volume passing offense that will be down often, so the touchdowns will come eventually.

Hope For The Best: Don’t break out the pitchforks on me for this one, but Christian McCaffrey looks to be physically overmatched at the NFL level. It’s not like we were expecting him to truck people, but he gets blown backwards at the slightest whiff of contact. The panthers need to do a much better job of getting him into space where he can make people miss. I think his role will increase with Greg Olsen sidelined, but I’m still proceeding cautiously as this could easily turn into a Jon Stewart game with the Panthers up early. As for the rest of the Panthers, there’s no time like the present for Kelvin Benjamin to get involved.

Hell No: Your guess is as good as mine about whether Alvin Kamara, Mark Ingram, or Adrian Peterson will lead in touches this week. What a mess. Tedd Ginn Jr. hasn’t been able to get it done so far, and his role will only reduce once Willie Sneed comes back into the fold. Colby Fleener salvaged his day with a garbage time touchdown last week, and I don’t see his role being very prominent in a game that’s likely to be a bit closer. Oh, and don’t forget that Colby Fleener sucks, too.

Post-Game Headline: “Saints go 0-3, Sean Payton’s job still secure somehow”.

Buccaneers @ Vikings

Story to Watch: It’s not exactly a secret how I feel about Jameis Winston. He was my favorite QB heading into this season, but after an average (albeit mistake-free) opener against Chicago last week, turns out the Tampa Bay offense may be more balanced than we’d like for fantasy purposes. Granted, the game was out of hand before halftime, but the Buccaneers have proven to be successful when the defense makes plays and the offense supplements it with a run-heavy approach. There simply might not be many games this year where Jameis is required to sling it, and that’s exactly what Dirk Koetter wants for his developing franchise QB who’s focused on limiting his turnovers. We’ll have to keep a close eye on the offensive game plan this week against a Vikings team that should be competitive until the final gun, unlike the impotent effort that Mike Glennon put forth last Sunday.

Safe Bets: Mike Evans started off the season on a great note, going 7-93-1 against the woeful Bears defense last week. He dropped another touchdown as well, so expect plenty of scoring opportunities for him this season. Even against a stiff Vikings secondary, he’s top 5 for me this week. This is all predicated upon Sam Bradford actually having a functioning leg, but if he’s out there, you have to send out both Stefon Diggs and Adam Thielen. That MNF opener was just too sexy to ignore. Dalvin Cook will continue to see close to 20 carries as long as this game is close, which it should be. He also got tripped up at the goal line last week, so you can definitely expect him to get another scoring chance just based on the volume alone.

Hope for the Best: As I mentioned above, Jameis Winston might not serve up the fantasy buffet we were all expecting this season. That said, he had a sure touchdown dropped by Mike Evans and few missed connections with Desean Jackson, so his day easily could’ve been a lot more impressive than what the box score showed us. He’s a low end QB1 for me, as is Sam Bradford, if healthy. This is a big “if”, mind you. “It’s hard to tell if there’s any ligament damage due to the severe amounts of scar tissue” is probably not the clarity you’re expecting after an MRI, but this is Sam Bradford we’re talking about here. He’s like the $6 Million Dollar Man, except they used damaged ligaments and rubber bands to build the perfect quarterback. He’s definitely a house of cards, but if he’s out there Sunday, I’m playing him. Kyle Rudolph isn’t really part of the game plan outside of the red zone and the Bucs defense is stronger than it seems, but I like his chances for a TD.

Hell No: Not exactly a “hell no” in the literal sense, but Jacquizz Rodgers will have a much tougher time this week. There’s a great chance for a goal line plunge, however. You could do a lot worse. Desean Jackson had some missed opportunities, but I don’t know how often they’ll call his number in what’s likely to be a close contest. Cameron Brate likewise needs to see more targets before you can feel confident starting him

Post-Game Headline: “Bradford miraculously survives game, Vikings win tough battle 24-21.”

Texans @ Patriots

Story to Watch: Tom Brady is creepy, man. I get a crazy uncanny valley effect while watching that interview. He might actually be an android, but hey, maybe that’s why he’s still capable of hanging dong at forty years old. Anyway, so much for the yearly “is Tom Brady washed up?” narrative. This time the concerns lasted even shorter than usual, with the Saints defense serving as a panacea for a New England passing game that looked stagnant in the season opener. So now, what do we make of them? After one stiff test and one cake matchup, they’ll host a Houston defensive unit this week that falls somewhere in the middle of the pack. This isn’t really a “story” to watch, as I fully expect the Patriots will clean up and end this game early. However, the litany of injuries the receiving corps might make the Patriots depend more on the ground game than we’re used to seeing.

Safe Bets: Obviously you’re sending out Tom Brady and Rob Gronkowski regardless of matchup, but in a game where the patriots should lead wire to wire, Mike Gillislee enters must-start territory as well. The Patriots were comfortable feeding Gill the rock with a commanding lead against the Saints last week, and that should be the case once more against a hapless Texans offense that won’t be able to keep pace. Gillislee is looking pretty, pretty, pretty good as a bet to lead the league in touchdowns. I’ll probably regret saying this as Belicheck has a track record of neutralizing opponents’ top options, but Deandre Hopkins is about as safe as it gets re: the volume he’s been receiving. Deshaun Watson may not be aware of the recent fois gras ban, as his force feeding of Hopkins looks eerily similar to the now-illegal practice. Expect Nuk to be plenty plump after tons of garbage time opportunities.

Hope For The Best: RB/WR hybrid James White was plenty involved in the passing game, as he seems to have emerged as the Edelman replacement for routes over the middle. He’s a nice flex play in PPR leagues every week. Chris Hogan entered the painted area last week, although he’s a little banged up and Danny Amendola could be returning. At this point, are we sure this isn’t just who Brandin Cooks is? In a game in which Brady threw for 447 yards, Cooks only managed to account for 37 of those (against his former team, no less). Sure, the explosions will happen, but he’s hard to trust on a weekly basis.

Hell No: Deshuan Watson might have some garbage time scoring, but he didn’t look like a good quarterback against Cincy. Rex Burkhead managed a score during the Patriots explosion, though he seemed to easily be 3rd in the pecking order in the backfield. Nobody else worth looking at on the Texans.

Post-Game Headline: “Gillislee, Gronk lead Patriots to easy 33-13 victory over hapless Texans.”

Giants @ Eagles

Story To Watch: Full disclosure: I’m a no good, dirty, piece of shit Eagles fan. However, I don’t think Philly bias has anything to do with my prediction that Eli is going to get absolutely crushed in the Eagles’ home opener. The Giants’ offensive line is entering the Seahawk tier of “ruins absolutely everything” for fantasy purposes, torpedoing the upside of everyone from Odell Beckham to, well… just Odell really. The Giants are fully aware that Eli Manning will be sauntering for his life on Sunday, so it will be interesting to see if Macadoo changes the game plan to more quick hitting routes off of three step drops. In any event, it probably won’t be pretty at the Linc. One word of caution for those betting big on the Eagles, though – these NFC East games never go according to plan…

Safe Bets: The Giants have a strong pass rush and a lockdown corner in Janoris Jenkins, but you can’t turn away from Carson Wentz until he gives you a reason to. If you throw for 300+ yards on the road at Kansas City, yea… you get the start the following week. Zach Ertz did a lot of his damage on a fluky broken play last week, but he’s still Wentz’s first read. He should be in for a big day with the jackrabbit likely shadowing Alshon Jeffery. Odell Beckham Jr. wasn’t quite himself during the debut, but he’ll be one week closer to 100% playing an Eagles team which, anecdotally, he seems to score against at will.

Hope For The Best: Doug Pederson made a concerted effort to get Alshon Jeffery involved last week, and it paid off for the Eagles. Alshon hauled in 7 catches for 92 yards and a score against some tight coverage from the Chiefs. I’d feel comfortable firing him up as a WR2, but I have to ask – was he always this goddamn slow? I was taken aback on more than few occasions by his lack of acceleration, and he seems to have lower body strength issues when it comes to getting up for the ball. Anyway, the box score is all we care about, so he should be in your lineup. Evan Engram should find some openings if the Eagles make an effort to lock down Odell, and Eli looked pretty confident in his young tight end against the Lions on Monday. I think he’s in for 60 yards and a possible score.

Hell No: There’s a chance Odell makes the eagles pay once or twice, but outside of that, I’m staying the hell away from Eli Manning in this one. If the O/U for sacks was set at 5.5, I think I’d hammer the over. The New Orleans backfield looks like a rushing Utopia compared what passes for the Eagles’ running game this season. Darren Sproles has some minor PPR value, but Wendell Smallwood and “zero carries” Legarrette Blount are lineup poison until Philly commits to the run more. Nelson Agholor had a late TD, but otherwise he wasn’t involved last week.

Post-Game Headline: “Eagles D, Ertz shine in 27-13 rout of awful, awful Giants.”

Bengals @ Packers

Story To Watch: If your vision isn’t permanently scarred from watching Andy Dalton this season, you may want to invest in some gafas and give the red rocket one more look before pulling the plug. Yes, it’s been ugly, but new OC Bill Lazor has said that the team will be committed to getting the ball out quickly to assuage concerns about the turnstile offensive line. AJ Green was also publicly disgruntled about not getting the ball, so chances are he’ll see plenty of opportunities to break things open this week against a Packers defense that got rocked by Atlanta. Most intriguing, perhaps, is how the new OC will plan on addressing the elephant in the RB committee. The Bengals have dropped hints since the preseason that Joe Mixon is the most talented running back on the roster, and now, with offense in turmoil and looking to start fresh, there’s no time like the present to give their rookie the rock. The new quick hitting passing game should benefit Mixon as well, as will basically any playcall that gets the rookie dynamo in space. I think the breakout is coming this week…

Safe Bets: There are few immutable rules in fantasy football, but one of them is definitely “start star WR after he complained to the media about touches”. It’s literally never failed, so fire up AJ Green with confidence (not that you weren’t already). Aaron Rodgers made the best of bad situation after the Packers suffered numerous injuries against Atlanta, throwing the ball 50 times in the process. I think there will be a more balanced game script this time around, but with Jordy Nelson and Randall Cobb back, think this will be the first true “Aaron Rodgers” Aaron Rodgers game of the season. Ty Montgomery is an RB1 in this offense until he proves otherwise, which will essentially be the entire year depending on his health. If you drafted him late or kept him this season, congratulations. If healthy, I expect Jordy Nelson to deliver in a big way.

Hope For The Best: If you don’t have Joe Mixon, trade for him now. It’ll be your last opportunity to do so at a discount. There’s a chance I could be wrong about that, but there’s a chance you could’ve been wrong buying Amazon stock in 1999, as well. In any event, I think he’ll see the highest usage of the season this week, which is all we’ve asked for this year. I can’t in good conscience recommend starting Andy Dalton, but he should be much better this week with a fire lit under his ass. He could provide low end QB1 numbers. Randall Cobb is a solid start provided he gets a couple of full practices in before the weekend.

Hell No: Davante Adams had a great night last week, turning 10 targets into 8 catches for 99 yards and a score. A majority of the looks came after Jordy Nelson and Cobb left the game, however, so it’s hard to see him replicating that usage in a full Packers boat. Gio Bernard once again has some flex appeal in a potential comeback spot, but his upside is capped. I think this is the end of the line for Jeremy Hill, at least on the Bengals.

Post-Game Headline: “Bengals show life, but Rodgers too much as Packers win 31-24”

Jaguars vs. Ravens (London) and Browns @ Colts

Story To Watch: I’m combining these two games for few reasons….

If you’re actually tuning into either of these games and you aren’t a fan of one of the teams, then you have a serious problem. The “Story to Watch” in that case is your degenerate gambling addiction. There’s probably less than 5 players worth starting on these four teams combined in standard league sizes, and that’s including the defenses. Do you really need an entire section on the Colts and Browns?

Safe Bets: Buck Allen was dominating touches anyway and now Terrence West could be sidelined. Even against a tough Jacksonville defense, he’s in for a good week. Baltimore’s D is no laughing matter, either, but it’s hard to turn down the workload that Leonard Fournette will be getting. Oh, and how could I forget…THROW DEM PIZZA LUNCHABLES ON THA FIELD. If there was ever a week for Isiah Crowell to caw, this is it. Hue Jackson even came out and said that he plans to give Crow more carries, and with a dejected Colts defense on the horizon, there’s no time like the present.

Hope for The Best: If you’re looking for barely 200 yards, 1-2 touchdowns, and 1 interception, then look no further than our man Joe Flacco. He’s got you covered. There’s some discussion about Deshone Kizer being a popular DFS play, but down Corey Coleman and with Kenny Britt effectively benched, it’s hard to see where the points will come from. Still, he could make it happen against a forgiving Colts defense. Frank Gore could give you a goal line plunge and 60 total yards.

Hell No: The Ravens have made mincemeat out of opposing QBs so far, and I’d bet the mortgage on Blake Bortles becoming another statistic. Allen Hurns managed a decent stat line (thanks to garbage time) last week, but he’ll find it tougher to get separation against this week’s opponent. Jeremy Maclin has managed to hit paydirt in both weeks so far, but there isn’t a ton of volume to sustain him. Think of him as Donte Moncrief with a much worse version of Andrew Luck throwing him red zone looks.

Oakland @ Washington

Safe Bets: Fire up your Raiders. Derek Carr seems to have left off right where he did before breaking his leg, which is to say he’s leaving the league in flames. After a challenging opener against the Titans, he remembered where his bread is buttered in the red zone last week, connecting with Michael Crabtree for three touchdowns in a beatdown of the Jets. Amari Cooper seemed to possibly usurp Crab’s role after being heavily targeted in the opener, but after dropping three balls in the end zone, all I can say is… ya blew it. He’s still the best bet to lead the Raiders in receiving yards, but Cooper’s back to having his upside capped now that the redzone experiment could be kaput. Marshawn Lynch had the entire Oakland Coliseum bumping last week, and I think you’ll see him dance once more against a Skins unit that gave up a huge game to Todd Gurley.

For the Redskins, there’s good chance that Kirk Cousins will be chucking it for the entire game in what should be a shootout. The question is, will his WRs actually haul in some of the throws? Outside of Chris Thompson, who should have a great game once again, the Redskins haven’t gotten a lot of help from their skill players.

Hope For the Best: Terrelle Pryor has been exposed so far this season, not that I’m shedding any tears for him. He’s been unable to get separation and doesn’t have the target share that he enjoyed on a terrible Browns team in 2016. He claims that his “great season starts this week” referring to the upcoming game with Oakland, though, so take that for what it’s worth. Who knows, he might even crack 70 yards! Rob Kelley might be back out there this week, too, but he hasn’t exactly inspired with his play thus far. In a game that has shootout written all over it, though, he might have a goal line crack or two. You’re definitely starting a healthy Jordan Reed, but “healthy Jordan Reed” is somewhat of an oxymoron, isn’t it?

Hell No: Marshawn established dominance in the Raiders backfield this week, putting to rest any fears that Deandre Washington or Jaylen Richard would eat into the workload. Not that you’re starting them anyway.

Post-Game Headline: “Raiders keep it rolling in the capitol, topping ‘Skins 36-27”

Broncos @ Bills

Safe Bets: If you were able to snag CJ Anderson late in your draft, then take a bow. This offense looks to be legit, and CJ appears to be the main benefactor. Last week vs. Dallas, he carried the ball 25 times for 118 yards, adding 36 yards receiving, and crossed the pylon twice. Those are RB1 numbers that you likely got for a RB3 price, and he should continue to be a workforce in positive game scripts like Denver will enjoy against Buffalo. The game script likely will continue to be positive due to the surprisingly effective play of Trevor Siemien, who has thrown 6 touchdowns so far this year already. I’d keep sending him out there in plus matchups with new OC Mike McCoy in tow.

Hope For The Best: Coming off a brutal performance against a stout Panthers front seven, Lesean McCoy looks to bounce back against *looks at schedule really quickly*…. oh Jesus. While things can’t really get worse for Shady after the total egg he laid last week, he’s in for a tough assignment against the Broncos. You’re playing him regardless, just hope that he can make things happen by virtue of being the entire Bills offense. Emmanuel Sanders and Demaryius Thomas have both looked good so far, but as improved as Siemien’s play has been, he’s not the reincarnation of Peyton just yet. This offense isn’t ready to support two fantasy viable WR2’s, and it doesn’t have to be with how great the defense is. It will be tough to gauge which player will get the glory on a week-by-week basis, but neither of them will hurt you in the lineup, either.

Hell No: The Broncos defense makes even the best quarterbacks look pedestrian, and at times, Tyrod Taylor doesn’t need any assistance in looking pedestrian himself. I’m staying away. You’d have to be pretty desperate to start Jordan Matthews, Zay Jones, or any receiving option for Buffalo this week

Post Game Headline: “Siemien throws 3 more touchdowns as Broncos stampede in Buffalo”

Steelers @ Bears

Safe Bets: Chalk it up to rust, a slow start, or anything you like, but… now would be a good time for Le’veon Bell to make good on that first round investment. He wasn’t exactly bad vs. the Vikings (27 carries for 87 yards), but it would be nice to see him stretch his legs a bit at Soldier Field this Sunday. Giving Big Ben’s inauspicious history on the road, I think there’s a good chance we see “I’m going to account for the entire damn offense” Le’veon Bell, which, for my money, is the best Le’veon Bell. Antonio Brown likewise is locked and loaded as a WR1, but beware what happened to the Bucs players last week – this game could be over by halftime, effectively kneecapping the upside of the entire Steelers passing game. Ben Roethlisberger is a safe if not utterly gangbusters play, as the home/road splits cannot be overstated. He’ll still be effective, but beware of the Big Ben’s reputation as a less than stellar road warrior.

Safe Bets: Martavis Bryant goes as the passing game does, as much of his damage is done through deep shots. In a game in which the Steelers should lead wire to wire, his services may not be required. Still, I’d play him as a boom/bust WR2. Tarik Cohen is here as your only viable Bears play, and that will likely be the case through the rest of the season. There just aren’t many options here, and Tarik can certainly pay the bills in a ppr league. He should see plenty of work as the Bears get their asses kicked.

Hell No: Mike Glennon wasn’t nearly as bad as the box score suggested last week (I mean, sort of), but I can’t think of any reason you would start him unless you’re a masochist and enjoy 16-team, 2QB leagues. Throw in the fact that that he could lose his job by halftime and he’s a hard pass. Jesse James sounds a lot cooler than he is good at football, plus he popped up on the injury report Wednesday. You could probably find a better option on the wire.

Post-Game Headline: “Trubisky Era officially begins as Le’veon Bell demolishes Bears with 180 total yards, two scores.”

Seahawks @ Titans:

Story to Watch: As a heavy investor in both of these teams during fantasy drafts this summer, you can bet I’ll be paying very close attention to whether these offenses will ever wake the hell up. It’s been ugly for both teams. For the Seahawks, it could be as simple as the atrocious offensive line play subverting any play from having a chance to develop. This is been an issue for years, but the Seahawks are really paying the piper in 2017 for ignoring the glaring o-line woes in the draft. As for the Titans, well, they just don’t seem to be gelling? I don’t know, it’s weird. The run game isn’t as strong, Mariota’s passes seem to float endlessly, even lifelessly through the air, and there’s a general takeaway that these guys don’t look very comfortable playing with each other yet. They have been awful in redzone, or I should say the few times they’ve actually graced the redzone with their presence this season. It won’t get any easier against the legion of boom.

Safe Bets: You can’t feel 100% confident in trotting out Russell Wilson these days, but he eventually has to get uncorked. With the emergence of a somewhat dependable running back, I think Russ is able to convert some red zone chances and finally puts together a serviceable fantasy outing. Same goes for Doug Baldwin, who’s done little to challenge the narrative that he’s a wildly inconsistent player. That said, he’ll go as Russ does, and I think he’ll put up WR1 numbers this week.

For the Titans, it’s a wait and see on what happens with Demarco Murray during practice this week. If he’s a go, I’d start him with cautious optimism against a Seattle rush defense that’s all bark and no bite. If he’s out, then DEFINITELY fire up Derrick Henry. Carlos Hyde shredded these guys last week, so imagine what a bulldozer like Henry will accomplish with a full load. As an added bonus, you can’t beat the prospective schadenfreude of seeing Richard Sherman get absolutely blasted by Derrick Henry. My god, it’s like it’s been ordained by the cosmos.

Hope For The Best: Marcus Mariota has been serviceable thus far, but you didn’t draft him to be serviceable. You drafted him for the top 5 upside, which you’re not going to get this week. Still, I think he’s trending in the right direction. If Chris Carson truly is the guy, then ride the gravy train while you still can. Delanie Walker isn’t always going to score a rushing TD like he did last week, but he IS always going to get you 60 yards. In a year where the TE position is a straight up minefield, that’s good enough to get the job done most weeks.

Hell No: Speaking of Tight Ends, do you think Jimmy Graham will ever catch a football again? Jesus, get that guy to a sports psychologist. I feel sorry for anyone who drafted him expecting even a modicum of success based on last year’s performance. I can’t endorse Eric Decker either, who is listless so far in this neutered version of the exotic smashmouth offense.

Post-Game Headline: “Titans smashmouth rather common as Wilson, Seahwaks prevail 23-16”