As Washington politicians battle over the idea and funding of a border wall, Ted Cruz is offering a novel solution for southern national security.

On Tuesday, former Sinaloa drug cartel head Joaquin “El Chapo” Guzman was found guilty of ten federal charges. El Chap is looking at a minimum of ten years per count, with one particular crime — engaging in a continuing criminal enterprise — mandating a life sentence.

Along with the kingpin’s capture, U.S. agents confiscated a bit of dough — billions, actually. Additionally, more than $14 billion in assets was seized.

According to CNN, prosecutors are making moves to allow the government to keep the seizures.

Enter, Ted Cruz, with a big idea: use the stash to pay for the wall, in an effort to prevent future South American narcotics bigwigs from peddling (and pedaling?) their wares across the border.

Ted’s introduced the Ensuring Lawful Collection of Hidden Assets to Provide Order, or El Chapo Act.

The Texas senator released a statement:

“Fourteen billion dollars will go a long way toward building a wall that will keep Americans safe and hinder the illegal flow of drugs, weapons, and individuals across our southern border.”

And a tweet:

“America’s justice system prevailed today in convicting Joaquín Guzmán Loera, aka El Chapo, on all 10 counts. U.S. prosecutors are seeking $14 billion in drug profits & other assets from El Chapo which should go towards funding our wall to #SecureTheBorder.”

America’s justice system prevailed today in convicting Joaquín Guzmán Loera, aka El Chapo, on all 10 counts. U.S. prosecutors are seeking $14 billion in drug profits & other assets from El Chapo which should go towards funding our wall to #SecureTheBorder. https://t.co/hPwEUVM6SP — Senator Ted Cruz (@SenTedCruz) February 12, 2019

Sounds reasonable.

How will Nancy and Chuck oppose this one? It may not be too difficult — after all, everything Donald Trump does is racist, and “a wall is an immorality” (here). Still, their goofiness seems a more difficult sell if Ted’s holding a giant briefcase full of Benjamins. Maybe the El Chapo Act will allow both sides to holster their guns a bit without losing face.

Trump’s requested $5 billion for construction to begin, whereas a bipartisan deal Tuesday morning appropriated only $1.4.

Ted’s found a way to move the decimal point.

Sounds good. Let’s make like Smokey Robinson…and Cruz.

-Alex

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