ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Police say a lifeless body found outside the New South Boomerstan Parliament this after is that of Andrew Constance, the state’s transport minister.

The Supreme Premier of New South Boomerstan, Her Excellence Gladys Berijikilan, told media this afternoon via a short statement that Mr Constance was ‘executed’ for a number of crimes against the state, the most serious being a suggestion that one of Sydney’s new trams should be called ‘Tramy McTramface’.

The statement, which has been obtained by The Advocate, thanked Mr Constance for his service to the Boomers of the nation’s third-worst state.

“The body that was thrown onto the footpath outside Parliament this after belongs to the transport minister, Andrew Constance,” the statement read.

“Just after lunch today, he was shortly after he joked that Sydney should let the public name the new trams and that one of them should be called, ‘Tramy McTramface’,”

“After the embarrassment that was the Ferry McFerryface controversy, we in the Boomerstani Politburo felt it pertinent to remove the possibility of that ever happening again,”

“Mr Constance served the people of New South Boomerstan with grace and distinction and we wish him the best of luck in all his future endevours ,”

“END.”

The Advocate sent our Sydney correspondent to Parliament this afternoon to investigate the short but upon entering the heritage structure, he was svitzed in the face with nerve agent and died shortly there after.

More to come.





