If you are looking for a life of crime, here's a Hollywood guide on what not to do:

According to the movies, those who choose a career in organized crime are genuine mental enigmas so puzzling they make John Nash look like Kevin Federline. These people have made a career out of evading law enforcement and bypassing high-level security systems, yet when it comes down to making some common sense decisions, they are utter morons.

6 Discussing Your Crime in a Diner

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As Seen In:

Pulp Fiction, Thief, Heat, American Gangster, Goodfellas

In Hollywood productions, criminals do not mess around. If they're willing to steal, they're usually also willing to murder, torture, and blow up anything that can possibly be blown up (and probably some things that quite honestly can't be blown up). Most of civilized society, however, tends to frown upon such behavior, and as such it's really not prudent to discuss those plans in public. Doing so may lead to death at the hands of a wisecracking, world-weary cop.

So, when one is planning heists, murders, and mind-blowingly awesome explosions, it might be smart to do so in a secure, isolated location where other people are unlikely to be found.

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Just a suggestion.

What you would not do is hold your conferences in, say, a diner, with a couple dozen potential eavesdroppers in the vicinity.

It isn't like they don't have a choice in the matter. Most movie criminals have access to everything from military grade machine guns and vault-cutting lasers to Joe freakin' Pesci. We're expected to believe that they can't find a private room somewhere to act as a hide-out? Why can't they just meet in the same old "Desolate Woods on the Outskirts of the City" where they are always dumping bodies? Surely the corpse of Billy Bats is unlikely to snitch on them.

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This sort of thing happens so often that we're surprised anyone living in the Crime Thriller universe still eats out, for fear they'll get caught in a crossfire at some point.

Worst Offender:

We could have gone with Heat, where Robert Deniro nearly murders a man in the crowded parking lot of a diner (foiled only because the guy pretty much vanishes into thin air like David freaking Copperfield) or American Gangster, where Denzel Washington's character actually gets up, walks down the sidewalk, and blows a dude's head off before walking calmly back into the diner to finish his meal.

But no, the prize has to go to Pulp Fiction, where a couple of robbers discuss robbing while sitting a diner, before robbing the same diner. At which point the robbery is thwarted because a couple of hitmen happened to be a few tables over, openly discussing the business of being hitmen.