LOS ANGELES—An embarrassed Lakers management called a press conference Friday morning to announce they had accidentally orchestrated a four-team deal to acquire 7-inch center Dwink Howard, instead of 7-foot center Dwight Howard, as they had intended. "Clearly Dwink doesn't bring quite as much to the table as Dwight would have, but we're trying to remain positive and focus on how much Dwink will improve the atmosphere around here," said Lakers general manager Mitch Kupchak, referring to Dwink Howard's proclivity for boosting team morale with his squeaky inspirational speeches and teensy locker room hijinks. "He just might be the tiny piece we need to help us win another NBA championship. And now that Andrew Bynum’s gone, we don't have to worry so much about somebody smooshing him." Kupchak closed the press conference by suggesting the Lakers were attempting to offset Thursday's mistake with an attempt to acquire 70-foot power forward/center Emega Okafor from the Wizards.

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