We’ve had the satire, now the real ones.

We’re working on a diagram.

“Vote SNP, get Labour”.

“Vote SNP, get Tory”.

“Vote Tory, get SNP”.

“Vote Labour, get SNP”.

“Vote UKIP, get Labour.”

“Vote UKIP, get Tory”.

“Vote UKIP, get Labour AND the SNP”.

“Vote Labour, get Tory.”

“Vote Tory, get Labour”.

“Vote Lib Dem get Tory.”

“Vote Plaid Cymru, get Labour”.

“Vote Plaid Cymru, get Tory.”

“Vote Democratic Unionist, get Sinn Fein”.

“Vote Mebyon Kernow, get Tory”.

“Vote UKIP, get trade unions”.

“Vote Green, get Labour”.

“Vote Green, get Tory.”

“Vote Green or Lib Dem or SNP or Tory, get Labour.”

“Vote Scottish Greens, get Sinn Fein and SNP.”

We’re still trying to track down a “vote Ulster Unionist, get Blaenau Gwent People’s Voice”, but we’re sure there’s one out there somewhere. In the meantime, readers, go and have a lie down and a nice cup of tea. We’re on this for you.