It’s 4:00AM and all I want to do is write.





This is the first time in well over a year that i’ve been here. There was a time, or perhaps I should say there were many times when I would find myself in the early hours of the morning writing, being creative, being overly productive in what I considered a hypomanic state. Somewhere between then and now, I had lost not only what I always assumed was a hypomanic state, but I lost motivation, creativity and drive to be creative completely. I lost who I was, or who I though that I was anyway. I used to play the piano for fun, teach myself how to play simple chords. I used to come up with self proclaimed brilliant ideas, short stories, plan movies in my head. I used to be an overly creative person beaming with ideas. I don’t know what happened to that me, and I don’t know if that me leaving was good or not, but somewhere between then and now, that me went away.





So right now, this is the first time in a very long time that i’ve felt compelled to just let my mind go and let my fingers type.