The internet collectively rejects bread-sliced bagels, mocks this well-kept St. Louis 'secret'

Twitter users respond to a photo of bagels sliced like bread (a purported "St. Louis secret") and many posted their own "St. Louis style" food items, in mockery. Twitter users respond to a photo of bagels sliced like bread (a purported "St. Louis secret") and many posted their own "St. Louis style" food items, in mockery. Photo: Twitter Screenshot Photo: Twitter Screenshot Image 1 of / 25 Caption Close The internet collectively rejects bread-sliced bagels, mocks this well-kept St. Louis 'secret' 1 / 25 Back to Gallery

Food Social Media (including Food Twitter and Food Instagram) is generally a respite from the rest of the opinions, arguments and name-calling that has come to typify social media.

That is, until someone posted this photo of bagels, in the year of 2019.

Today I introduced my coworkers to the St Louis secret of ordering bagels bread sliced. It was a hit! pic.twitter.com/XNGbljtpYz — Alek Krautmann (@AlekKrautmann) March 26, 2019

Bagels. Sliced. Like. Bread.

"Today I introduced my coworkers to the St Louis secret of ordering bagels bread sliced," wrote Alek Krautmann on Twitter. "It was a hit!"

Now, mind you, the internet has gotten into food arguments before — Is a hot dog a sandwich? An Internet search will tell you this is still being debated — but this seems like a mostly new food debate, the likes of which a huge swath of bagel lovers have not seen before.

First, there were questions.

"How many slices on average does one take? Are the slices with the hole taken first or last," asked one Twitter user. ("# of slices - many, distributed all morning," answered Krautmann. "slice selection is personal preference, which is the appeal. have extra spreads on hand though, bc that extra surface area = more cream cheese.")

"Can I still take a whole bagel and just eat it in slivers?" asked another Twitter user. "What are the rules?!" ("Yes! No rules!" replied Krautmann. "But if you don't get a bagel's worth of various types you're crazy.")

"Were you immediately fired?" asked yet another person. (No reply to that one.)

Others just couldn't believe it.

"This is an embarrassment to the whole sliced foods community," wrote another Twitter user.

"I work in a bakery that makes bread & bagels every morning.... If someone asked me to 'bread slice' bagels I'd refuse service. I have standards and a healthy respect for bagels," stated a Twitter user.

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The photo itself admittedly feels like a bit of trolling, but after doing some digging in St. Louis-area news sites writing on the topic — "the St. Louis secret" portion of the tweet still rattling around in my head — it seems this is an actual thing that happens there ... albeit there seems to be a hint of shame for those that take their bagel, sliced.

"Our ongoing national shame was exposed by a Tweet, of course," bemoaned a writer from the Riverfront Times.

"It's all over. St. Louis' charade as a city on the rise has been exposed as fraud by the revelation that Saint Louis Bread Company slices its bagels like bread loaves, in defiance of God's will and all that is decent," stated writer Danny Wicentowski.

Wicentowski went on to call out those on Twitter who claimed to be from St. Louis: "Others, themselves St. Louisans, claimed never to have heard of the practice. (Gotta feign normalcy to the eyes of the outside world, right?)"

The St. Louis Post-Dispatch took a softer stance, instead amusedly covering the outrage, but seeming to take slight offense at some of the "St. Louis-style" food memes taking off on Twitter, at the expense of St. Louis. (See some of the memes in the slideshow above.)

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"(Bread slicing bagels) makes it easier to eat, especially if you're heading somewhere and need a quick bite," wrote the Post-Dispatch in its bagel coverage of the controversy. "Bread slice the bagel, and you can still dip it in the cream cheese while walking, driving or typing at your desk. It's easier to eat."

One of the more definitive pro-bread sliced bagel takes is from Eater, where The Goods editor and "St. Louis expert" Julia Rubin told the food site that this style of slicing "maximize[s] your surface area for spreads" and perfect for those in the car.

"The beauty of the bread-sliced bagel is that you can eat it out of the bag with one hand, like chips or fries," Rubin told Eater. "It's so easy! For drivers! Passengers! Everyone!! You can go spreadless in this case, but you'd probably only want to do that with really flavorful bagels like chocolate chip, cinnamon crunch, or asiago. If you're advanced, you might dip your pieces in a spread while driving."

Convinced yet? Or still calling these "St. Louis style" bagels a #bagelgate atrocity? Take a look at the responses in the slideshow above.

Read Dianne de Guzman's latest stories and send her news tips at ddeguzman@sfgate.com.

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