Sign up to FREE email alerts from Mirror - celebs Subscribe Thank you for subscribing We have more newsletters Show me See our privacy notice Invalid Email

The most realistic police show I've seen is Jasper Carrott and Robert Powell in The Detectives' but over the years, I’ve started to avoid television crime.

I spend more time shouting at the screen when something’s wrong, and even though policing can’t always be portrayed completely accurately due to sensitive and covert methods of investigation, there are a number of easily avoidable mistakes.

I was inspired to write after reading too many novels featuring 'lone mavericks' out solving crimes by themselves.

From my experience I knew that was really happened in investigations was a feat of amazing teamwork.

(Image: Rob Cole Photography)

These are the 10 most common errors on screen:

1) The only two people working on a murder are the DCI and a DS, or a DI and a DS.

In reality, the number may be over one hundred officers, but I appreciate a TV budget wouldn’t stretch that far.

It doesn’t matter how dedicated and tenacious someone is, it is impossible to solve a murder by yourself.

DIs and DCIs are far too busy heading up the team, leading the investigation, attending meeting after meeting, then to get involved in the day to day aspect of dealing with witnesses and interviewing suspects in custody.

(Image: Getty)

2) Everyone wanders around the crime scene moving the body and dropping their DNA.

This would only happen if an officer didn’t want to keep their job and was intent on contaminating the evidence at the scene. Everything is recorded on DVD, photographed, logged and those who have a need to enter the scene do so with the correct protective clothing.

Each piece of evidence, including hairs, fibres and fingerprint lifts will be a separate exhibit, painstakingly bagged and marked up by the Crime Scene Investigators.

3) Pressure to get a result at any cost.

Senior officers don’t heap pressure on individuals to get the investigation completed. Everyone is working towards the same goal, although every boss wants more staff from the depleting workforce, and there are never enough for every task. Murder takes priority.

(Image: Rex Features)

4) Money is no object and resources are endless.

The making of a good TV police drama wouldn’t involve scenes where the officers were having to get the bus to carry out their inquiries.

In reality, there aren’t enough vehicles: last week two officers in Kingston had to flag down a learner driver to take them to colleagues to assist in an arrest as they had no other way of getting there.

This probably wouldn’t have gone down well in The Sweeney .

(Image: Getty)

5) There is always a uniformed police officer at the back of every interview room.

It isn’t unusual for a police station to have fifteen or more prisoners in custody and two or three officers available to interview them.

There definitely aren’t enough officers to have a superfluous one standing at the back of the police interview doing absolutely nothing.

I’ve seen this so often on TV, I’ve made a point of asking those who joined the police decades before me whether it used to happen.

The answer is always no.

There are often incorrect parts of police dramas that, albeit, they’re wrong, they at least add to the conflict and heighten tension.

Someone lurking in an interview with no part to play is simply pointless.

6) The solicitor always answers the suspect’s questions.

Every legal advisor and solicitor must cringe when they see this on television.

If the solicitor obstructs the interview, vastly different from protecting their client’s rights and objecting to particular questions, they can be removed and another one called.

(Image: Rex Features)

7) The Police are above the law and can do exactly as they please.

They can’t. A few years ago, I tried to watch a police drama and heard the character shout at another, ‘You can’t arrest me. I’m a DI.’ I switched it off.

Break the law, you’ll be arrested.

8) There is no paperwork and no need to collect evidence in any way.

Again, I understand that viewers would switch off up and down the country if a ‘drama’ was an hour of someone taking a statement.

It’s not something that would be a ratings winner. However, there never seems to be any mention of doing things properly.

On hundreds of occasions whilst at work, I’ve spoken to witnesses who have told me, ‘I’ve made a statement.’

(Image: Getty)

What they mean is that they’ve spent a few minutes with a colleague, not the same thing at all but through no fault of their own, their understanding of what constitutes making a statement is inaccurate.

I’m not sure why doing things properly isn’t at least referred to.

9) Interviewing someone for murder doesn’t take long and is carried out by a DI or DCI.

It will probably be hours from the suspect’s arrival at the police station to the officer asking the first question in interview.

Once the booking-in process at custody is completed, the suspect will have samples taken by a nurse, then a CSI, possibly have to undergo a psychiatric assessment, have their clothing seized and then wait for their legal representative.

The interviews themselves may take several days, not something a DI or DCI will have time for.

There may also be more than one suspect in custody. I doubt there is any police division with four DI and DCIs to spare.

(Image: The Sweeney)

10) At some point, the senior officer must take the civilian character to one side and tell them all about the investigation and what the police have so far.

Why would they do that? Some information in a murder investigation is kept back from some of the inquiry team.

Again, if the senior investigating officer wants to tell all to a member of the public, the chances are that she or he won’t keep their job.

Mercy Killing by Lisa Cutts is out in paperback now, published by Simon & Schuster