Nepgya was dutifully standing upright inside her taco stand. Actually, the author lied about the taco stand. It is a taco van.

And she wasn't wearing a sombrero.

She was, however, stranded in the middle of a rocky desert not too dissimilar from the one on the fanfiction cover. There wasn't a single soul in sight, with the exception of some weird metallic bird with steel blades for wings fluttering in the distance.

The sudden rumble of an engine then broke the silence. Nepgya braced for the upcoming customer, and took a look in their direction.

They were riding a very large motorbike with a sidecar, their eyes shielded from the dust by a visor. They were definitely a badass. So badass, in fact, that it could be no one else other than an adult version of IF.

"I-"

Nepgya stopped herself from calling out her name as the stranger-but-not-too-stranger got off her ginormous vehicle and raised her visor. After all, the two had never met in this dimension, so greeting her like an old friend would have surely weirded her out.

"Heya." Spoke the imposing, yet somehow friendly adventurer in a Southwestern accent. Nepgya politely bowed her head, and took a good look at her customer number one.

The first thing that caught the eye was her seemingly robotic left arm, going all the way up and connecting to her pectoral with a shoulderpad. Besides that, she was wearing the long blue coat distinctive of all IFs, buttoned up at the height of her chest then splitting off below her waist where it freely fluttered to the wind, revealing her black bodysuit and long black tights. This IF also looked a lot more jacked and, needless to say, tall. No luck in the chest department, though.

"I'll have the spiciest item on your list." She said. "And a bottle of water, too."

Nepgya dutifully assembled the taco and presented it to her on a plastic platter, then reached for a plastic bottle from the mini-fridge. The young woman looked at the girl running the stand, then at her meal, then back at the girl running the stand. Was that the face of the girl, drawn over the taco using chili sauce?

This girl... not only she looks weird, she IS weird, no two ways about it. She thought.

"Oh," Nepgya picked up immediately "I am sorry if the face I drew is making you iffy - no pun intended - you are my very first customer so I thought I would make something nice for the occasion." She tried to explain cheerfuly.

The customer didn't reply, instead sitting at the counter and picking up the taco. She wasn't gonna let a good meal go to waste, and, frankly, she was far more interested in putting something in her stomach and relaxing rather than solving whatever mystery the world was throwing at her with the sudden appearance of a supernatural taco girl in the middle of her desert.

What really irks me is the plastic cutlery anyway. Too bad I just used up all my explosives, sending this taco van and all its fake plastic knives packing would have been a great show... But I can't complain **MUNCH**, she thought as she took a bite out of her spicy taco, careful not to let the sauce drip off onto her badass hero clothing. She then asked: "So, can you turn on the TV?"

It was quickly done, and immediately a catchy gingle was introducing the news program:

"Authorities have made a stunning announcement on the building that exploded in Virtua Canyon. It was Team ASIC's hideout. Team ASIC is a gang of CPU abductors who have been marked for arrest." Spoke the announcer.

"Heh." The imposing adventurer made a pleased grin, then turned to the taco girl at the counter. "Soo... You never explained me how you knew my name." She asked out of the blue. Nepgya stopped cold.

"I... W-When... D-did I?" Nepgya frantically spoke, attempting to cover her previous slip-up as she physically covered her head with her hands.

"Only a handful of people in the world go calling me Iffy. And most of them are no more." The big IF said, as a tense music kicked in. "Know that depending on your answer, I might just have to kill you." She added, slowly reaching for Gya's head with her robotic left hand.

Don't worry, Iffy just loves pulling people's legs. Compa's words flashed back into Nepgya's mind as-

**GRAB** The travelling badass placed her hand on Nepgya's head, firmly grasped it, and pulled it close to herself... locking the two in an unpleasant staring contest.

The girl had cold, unforgiving eyes, completely devoid of humanity. She was, no doubt, a demon. And IF was pretty scary as well.

What was it, in her...? The lonely adventurer thought. What soul lie behind that empty gaze...?

"WAAAAAHT ARE YOU DOING RIGHT THERE, BULLYING MY FELLOW TACO VENDOR LIKE THAT!" A lanky purple figure suddenly cut all the tension, as he shouted at the "IF" in his coarse high-pitched nasal voice, a tennis racket in his hand and two angry racoons at his back.

"Umm, are you girls for real." Segami interjected, as she watched the live feed of Nepgya's adventure from her tablet, which cozily rested with an upright tilt on the dresser of Compa's room, Segami sitting on a chair nearby.

"I mean," she continued "isn't there some legal, or at least moral rule about NOT ripping off other games' stories? The metal bird, the big-ass motorbike, the hidden base blowing up... This is just the plot of Nepumon Colosseum intermixed with WaLoweege's Taco Stand, for crying out loud."

"You are worrying too much, Segami", a coat-less IF absent-mindedly replied as she hugged Compa with her left arm while laying next to her on the bed.

"Blanc is gonna be sooo pissed at you girls for copying her old games." Segami stated while making her classic Are you serious? face.

"Those games are ancient history." IF argued "Provided there are still people out there who remember them, we can just capitalize on nostalgia and say it was a reference made out of love. Fans will love that."

"Either that," Segami countered "or they will just call you out for being lazy bastards as usual. You know... for someone who boasts the name of Idea Factory, you sure can't seem to let go of old material."

"And you worry too much." IF said, trying to come up with a good counter-burn. "And... you know what? For a purported "God", you sure like to worry a lot, and yet the only God-like thing about you is the way you massively screw up. I heard Forces wasn't greeted that warmly by Modern Sonic fans, was it?"

"S-shut up!" Segami replied, grabbing the nearest object she could find - a pocket mirror - and chucking it at IF. "I need to worry. Or else this world will die. You girls don't know how easy you got it..."

"How dramatic." IF commented.

"Look, at least I am trying to come up with new actual titles so my flagship franchise won't die." Segami took a look at the happy couple of makers, merrily hugging each other. "All you girls do is fuck..."

"Well, we are making a game now, so shush." IF answered.

"Technically, I am..." Segami said, very annoyedly. "Just what is the point of this game anyway..." She asked, and rightfully so. She was the one publishing, after all, and doing most of the heavy work producing it as well, so a little heads-up regarding the game's direction was only fair...

But before IF could disclose any more plot-relevant infornation, Compa chimed in: "If you keep sulking with your eyebrows like that, you'll get wrinkles, my dear Se-Se." She commented with her trademark happy smile and gleeful tone of voice. "And then you'll be even crankier and even more left alone."

"I-I'm not-"

Not what? Sulky? Wrinkly? Cranky? Left alone? She couldn't push her mind to pick an adjective.

Segami pouted her lip, and stared at the happy couple, dead-silent. Wrinkles? On her face? The thought was indeed rather scary, and the last decade hadn't been particularly kind to her in terms of stress... Compa clearly wasn't pulling any punches.

Back to our adventure, the angry and lanky Italian (?) man angrily stood with his back hunched over, making squats with his legs spread out.

"Who dares challenge me?" The lone traveller asked out loud.

"It is I, the great Waloweege! I shall defeat you, and rescue the graceful Nepgya!" He said, as a rose magically popped into his mouth and he bent down on his knee with his arms spread out.

God, another weirdo. I am missing the guys back at ASIC already. They were as dumb as rocks, but at least they weren't this ridiculous. The confident young woman thought, even if in truth she was happy to see people acting so outlandishly, so boldly.

No need to hold myself back, then.

"Very well." She began thinking about a cool presentation. Yes, this will work.

"I am Oreindustri's Rusty Blade, its Cloud of Dust... AND I SHALL TAKE ON YOUR CHALLENGE!"

The eager adventurer went running at the purple stranger, her Qatar in hand, her feet relentlessly beating on the desert soil as she covered the distance between the two of them without care for gauging her opponent's strength.

"Here comes the first serve!" The sneaky purple man announced as he pulled a tennis ball from his back, threw it up in the air and hit it with his tennis racket, sending it flying at full speed against our wild (anti-?)heroine.

She moved away from the incoming projectile, then got back on her original trajectory and closed the distance with the purple man.

**SWOOSH**

Her blade swung against the purple man, who readily parried with his tennis racket. Waloweege sent a kick straight to her chest, but IF parried his foot with her second blade.

"Wahahaha!" Waloweege spoke. "Tanuki 1 and 2, attack!"

Two racoon-like creatures, with fuzzy hair in brown and white stripes, jumped at IF, aiming for her hand and her leg.

"FUCK!" She shouted, as she removed her blade from the man's sole to fend off the incoming animals

**KICK** Waloweege took the opening and kicked her blade away. "I have been at this job far too long, waaah! I won't lose to somebody's edgy OC, this time."

"Edgy?" IF repeated, her eyes widening.

Haha, of course... she WAS very edgy, no two ways about it.

"I'll give you the taste of an edge!" She clenched her human fist, pulled her arm back, and then pushed it forward with an open palm. "Deeeemon flames!" A stream of fire came out of her hand. Albeit it was a very weak fire attack by the world's standards, it was enough to scare off the animals as they immediately turned their backs and scurried away.

Waloweege looked at them in disbelief.

"Well, that was anticlimactic." The tall brunette commented, as Waloweege laid down his racket. "I guess you're one of those trainers who doesn't care well for his Nepumons, huh? Judging by how easily they ran away..." Waloweege looked down, dejected. "Either that, or they were wild 'mons you just caught."

"Well, this is really sad." Nepgya finally commented, having walked over to the scene. "Yeah," Big IF seconded "I even feel bad for wanting to beat you up right now."

Waloweege let out a sad waah. He didn't get hurt physically, but he surely got hurt in the spirit.

"Oh, it's the thought that counts." Nepgya spoke again, approaching the defeated stranger who was now laying on his knees. "May I offer you a taco? My treat."

And so they all sat together at a picnic table in front of the taco van. Waloweege had a taco filled with nutella and smarties, Nepgya had a vegan taco with guacamole, and the adult version of IF was enjoying her ground meat taco, her second taco of the day. A black fox and pink cat climbed out of IF's sidecar and walked over the her. I could have used them for the battle, she thought, but I wanted to go easy on him.



"Uni, Gear." The adult version of IF addressed the two animals, then laid down a bowl and poured some of the water bottle into it. She then looked up at her human lunch partners. "My name is IFI, and these girls are my family." "Oh, Hi Fi..." Nepgya said. "I WILL KILL YOU!" The brunette snapped back at her.

And so, IFI began narrating her story. She had been part of a band of criminals - Team ASIC - for as long as she could remember. And then one day she decided to blow it all up - quite literally, as she did so with their base - and stole their most treasured weapon.

"What? The protagonist of this game used to be in cahoots with the bad guys?" Segami interjected.

"Yup. Used to be a straight up bad guy. And not a reluctant one, either." Our world's IF asserted, having gotten out of the bed, as she was now watching the feed of the show with Segami. "Guess you're not the only one who can pull of cool ambiguous anti-heroes."

"My characters are not ambiguous." Segami made her cynical face, but then stopped herself upon remembering Compa's remark.

"Yes," Compa added "I also remember being really confused by this revelation as a child. The good guy was the bad guy, but only in the past? My child mind had some real trouble processing that."

"I think it's a cool lesson, even if it may sound cheesy." IF spoke. "Bad guys too can decide to be good for a change."

"Even then, I'd much rather not share a room with Iris Heart." Segami snarked. "...Pretty cool idea, though. Talking about bad guys... This Waloweege: what's the deal with him?"

Nepgya and IFI turned to Waloweege, curious to hear his story now.

"My guess is that he's a Loweean spy." Segami fantasized.

The lanky man in purple overalls let out a nervous "waah", as he had never been in such a situation before, with two cute anime girls giving him full attention and visibly curious to learn more about him. Don't mess up. This is your only chance to make a good impression. On anyone. Ever.

"I... waah, of course I am an honest citizien making a living. I sell tacos- Waitwaitwait, not any normal tacos. Wahaha! I sell tacos for royals, for gods, and even for princesses. You ever heard of Sarasaland? The princess of that Kingdom is my enterprise's biggest and most loyal endorser. That's right, pretty neat, waahahahah?" Waloweege spoke.

"Get off the table, you dirty mobster." IFI spoke, as Waloweege in his excitement had walked over the picnic table without even realizing, his shoes now looming mere meters away from everybody's plates.

"Sorry, waah." He said, as he dejectedly jumped off. But he wouldn't give up just yet. He couldn't.

"You see, Nepgya," he continued "in my whole life, I have been serving many kinds of tacos. Some were spicy, some were sour, some were sweet. But nobody, in all 574 chapters of my long-running adventure, has ever said to me: "I'll serve you a taco." Or at least, nobody ever said it with as much love and grace as you did. This taco makes me feel emotions I've never felt before. Thank you, Nepgya. Because my tacos might fill stomachs, but your tacos... they fill hearts. Waah."

"Awwwww..." The sneaky gentleman's words deeply touched Nepgya's heart, and she was now smiling with her face all red. "You are being really kind to me, even though I don't deserve it."

"Waah?" The purple man in overalls let out a waah of worry.

"I gotta give out my thanks as well." IFI chimed in. "Your service was really good, and the random battle was fun. I guess you guys really taught me I shouldn't be afraid of being myself. So, hey, I will put in a good word for your business back in town."

"Thank you, both of you!" Nepgya said, with renewed confidence "I will make treasure of your words, and I'll strive to improve myself. I will keep working hard day and night here at this taco stand, and I will serve many moments of laugh and happiness to each and every one of my customers! Thank you, IFI! Thank you, kind stranger!"

"S-stranger?" Waloweege stuttered, as rejection hit him like a truck.

o-o-o-NEPSTATION-o-o-o

Today's hosts: IF and Ultra Blanc

IF: Heya folks, how have you been doing?

Blanc: Hello everyone, I hope you have been having a good day.

IF: So, how are you liking this fic so far? Was my alternate self cool?

Blanc: As a watcher and also a fanfic writer myself, I'd like to give my input. First of all, your fic is quite good. However, it needs to feature more characters from Lowee. I also would have liked to see you focus more on adult IF's inner emotional journey. When she said at the end "You guys taught me I shouldn't be afraid of myself", that comment almost seemed to come out of the left field. Was that an attempt at satire, perhaps? Also, I'd like to file in a complaint about Segami's final remark; Lowee would never stoop so low as to send a picturesque Italian man who looks like a shoddy CG rendition of Robbie Rotten to serve as a spy for the nation. We people of Lowee are cold, yes, but we have standards.

IF: That... was an odd thing to get so nitpicky about. So, we're now opening the fanmails. We got a comment from HDeDeDe, writing from the n/gamindustri subneppit.

HDeDeDe: Are the events of Waluigi's taco stand 64 cannon to this universe?

Blanc: Hello, HDeDeDe. First of all, I'd like to compliment you on your name. It is a really clever pun, and you have great taste in characters as well. (How I hate that fucking penguin...)

IF: Did you say something?

Blanc: Second: I'd like to dispel the rumors about Waluigi's Taco Stand 64 being an actual game that was released. Some of you might have watched a self-proclaimed "Lost commercial" presenting the game somewhere on the internet. Well, that video was originally spread by a person named Kaze Emanuar, a German romhacker best known in the Lowee 64 underground community for his state-of-the-art romhack "Last Impact". So, rest assured and sleep tight, dear fans all over the world, there is no game.

IF: Yeah, our intel points to it being an urban legend as well.

Blanc: However, even if the game did exist at some point in time, I can guarentee you, and I am giving you my word as the CPU of Lowee, on this fact: Waluigi's Taco Stand 64 has never, ever been a cannon at any point in time, in any universe, ever.

IF: (Sooo... is Blanc even gonna acknowledge we copied two of her games? ... No? ... Okay then.)