Mr Strong Choices is angry. Why do you not understand how much Mr Strong Choices loves you? He loves you so much that he just wants to wrap you in his giant arms and squeeze and squeeze and crush you with his love until your eyeballs pop out and you are forced to seek medical advice, which is so much more convenient now Mr Strong Choices has also crushed the stupid doctors beneath his giant, hairy feet. He did that for you. Because Mr Strong Choices cares.

But do you care, Queensland? Do you, really?

Queenslanders have hurt Mr Strong Choices' feelings. Credit:FILE PICTURE

If you really cared you would not hurt Mr Strong Choices' feelings by withholding your love. And let us be frank, Queensland, because time grows short, you are just not giving it up for Mr Strong Choices. This sucks, Queensland. To be honest, you suck. Mr Strong Choices gave up so much for you. He gave up a generous salary and benefits package for an even more generous package, all for you. He gave up thousands of other people's jobs because it wouldn't be right to give himself such a big pay rise without paying for it, and he did that just for you. When bikies broke into your house and took all your stuff and gave it to the Labor Party he stopped them just like he stopped the floods. You know it's true, Queensland. How many times has this place been flooded since Mr Strong Choices SMASHED the river like he SMASHED the bikies?