A MAN has warned against any return to the decade from which he benefited enormously.

Norman Steele, 68, believes that despite secure employment, full student grants and buying a massive house cheaply, the 1970s were a nightmare decade because trade unions or something.

Steele, whose five-bedroom house is now worth 100 times what he paid for it, said: “These young people who were thinking of voting Labour in the last election have no idea how dreadful it was.

“The unions were holding the country to ransom and there were dead bodies literally piling up in the streets. I’m pretty sure that isn’t me misremembering things.

“Sometimes in January it’d be dark from 4pm right through to the next morning. Thanks, Arthur Scargill. Tell that to kids today with their phones and they won’t believe you.”

“The worst was when we joined the Common Market. That meant we got the Sex Pistols with their spitting, swearing and anarchy.”

Steele then curtailed the interview to meet an equity release advisor to discuss a down-payment on one of Richard Branson’s trips to the moon.