Paul was chirping me on Twitter the other day about Michael Floyd testing positive for alcohol. I’m generally ride-or-die for any #NotreDameGuy, but Floyd is admittedly making that difficult as of late.

Michael Floyd was placed under house arrest, in response to a December 2016 drunk driving arrest, that led to him being released by the Arizona Cardinals. Silver lining? He got a Super Bowl Ring, because the New England Patriots picked him up.

Recently, he was signed by the Vikings and is allowed to attend their camp, on the condition that he return home immediately afterwards to fulfill his 94 days of house arrest. Well, apparently between 5:33 and 6:33 a.m. on Sunday morning, he tested positive for alcohol four times. He now has to return to Arizona for a court appearance on June 26.

Floyd is claiming he wasn’t drinking alcohol and has blamed the positive readings on kombucha. Now, some of you basic bitches might be asking yourself, “what the hell is kombucha?” No, it’s not some weird liquor; that’s Sambuca.

WebMD.com: “Often referred to as mushroom tea, kombucha is not made from mushrooms, but the bacteria and yeast that grow on top of the beverage result in a blob that resembles a mushroom. It is made by adding the bacteria and yeast to sugar and black or green tea and allowing the brew to ferment.

At first taste, kombucha tea tastes somewhat earthy, tart, with a little effervescence and a vinegar-like smell – not so pleasing to the taste buds. To make the tea more palatable, juice is added to the base brew. But if you look a little closer, you notice little floating bits of bacteria in the unpasteurized beverage.”

According to Michael Floyd’s agent. on June 10 Floyd watched movies until 3:00 a.m. and drank a few bottles of kombucha. He was unaware that the drinks contained trace amounts of alcohol.

I 100% buy this and am jumping on the the Michael Floyd comeback train.

Listen, anything that’s fermented is going to contain some level of alcohol, that’s just science 101 stuff. Also, Floyd hasn’t proven to be the smartest cat in the world. So, I can legitimately buy the fact the he had no idea what fermented meant or that kombucha contained trace amounts of alcohol.

The only thing I’m having trouble with is buying the fact that anyone would sit around and casually drink kombucha. Let alone several bottles of it. I’ve watched health food freaks choke down one bottle and they looked like they were going to spew. Literally, you’re drinking rotten, yeast filled tea. But, hey, to each his own.

I can believe that Floyd likes to watch movies all night and drink shit water. What other explanation do we have? He just woke up at 4:45 and chugged 2 beers real quick? Shit tea is actually more believable.

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