Last week, a member of parliament tweeted that Balotelli was in the public gallery at Westminster, watching a debate on drug policy. Naturally, the internet got very excited about this, until someone pointed out that Balotelli was actually still training at Melwood. Not that this deterred every single news outlet in the Western world from reporting it. The implication, you see, was that Balotelli may not actually have been there in a strictly corporeal sense, but – nudge, wink – it could have been, eh? Eh?