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IT’S a condition that effects 7 in 10 Irish people living in urban areas and a stunning 11 out of 10 adults living in rural Ireland; today, we’ll be taking a look at Plannophobia, the incurable and irrational need to object to planning permission notices without provocation or cause.

“I first started objecting to PP notices in my early twenties, when a family up the road from us wanted to build a conservatory” said Declan Kennings, a Plannophobia sufferer who opened up to WWN.

“It wasn’t interfering with any views from our house, it didn’t encroach on any of my land, it really didn’t effect my life at all… but still, my initial reaction was ‘fuck no’. Since then, I’ve filed objections with every notice that has gone up around here. I don’t even need to read the whole notice, I just need to get the number of who to object to from it”.

Although international experts are baffled by Plannophobia, Irish specialists are very familiar with it, and have offered nothing by way of counselling or cure to those affected by it.

“In a case such as Mr. Kenning, we just label him a grumpy old git and leave him to it,” said Dr. Omar O’Neill, Plannophobia consultant for the Waterford Odd Bastards Association.

“These people aren’t doing any real harm, well, except to the livelihoods and dreams of their neighbours, maybe even to the odd urban renovation scheme that would make the town a bit safer and less depressing, the occasional infrastructure improvement here and there, the creation of jobs in the area, that kind of thing. Other than that, we just leave them to it!”.

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