AUSTIN — White polo, burnt-orange Longhorns logo over his heart, hair cropped shorter than Texas fans would remember and combed neatly, two rubber yellow bands on his left wrist, prepared notes laying in front of him, David Ash for two minutes thanked those who had helped make his football career meaningful.

David Ash ends his Longhorns No. 8 career passer

Then, in his typical deadpan style, Ash showed why he could as easily be a comedian — if he's not a preacher — now that he's no longer a quarterback.

"I'm so thankful to the media," he said, scanning the crowd, twisted smile on his face. "Y'all have been a delight the last three years."

A 20-minute press conference to expound on his retirement from football began with Ash nearly in tears. It was soon filled with his one-liners.

On his ample spare time: "Maybe I'll get a girlfriend!"

On his initial hope he could return from his third head trauma injury suffered against North Texas: "So you're saying there's a chance?"

On the emotions of the week: "I've meet my quota for crying the next 10 years," said without a trace of bitterness.

On the pressure-cooker of playing QB at Texas: "There's a lot of people who know how to play quarterback … really well."

On if he'll be Assistant to the Shawn Watson: "I'm not some Jedi Master quarterbacks coach."

Ash also did a pretty good imitation of coach Charlie Strong's reaction to his wanting to play, miming a head-pat and saying, all soft-spoken-like, "We'll treat you like any other injured player."

Atop the lightheartedness, Monday's press conference provided some news, such as Ash never suffered a concussion in high school, that he knew the most recent injury had to be it, that he doesn't have any memory loss and that his long-term prospects are optimistic and that he'd let his son play football. But when they play it back on YouTube or the Longhorn Network, fans will be most struck by Ash's poignancy, the most striking of which is up to you.

This one's great, on what Ash hopes his legacy is: "I want what I stand for to stick out more than my abilities … We live in a world where facades and skills that are gifts — you can't control your looks or your athletic ability. Those are gifts from the Lord. That puts people in a tough situation. I want people to remember what's on the inside. My character, my faith and how I treat people. Not my athletic ability. Just the person I am."

This one's good, on his career highlight: "It's just the whole experience. I wouldn't trade any of it."

This one will tug at your heartstrings, on any relief from being finished with the game: "I won't have to worry about 3rd-and-5, or what their blitz tendencies are in the red zone. But I think I'm gonna miss that worry."

But this one's my favorite:

"There's so much good life out there besides football."