Part of the campaign:

Welcome back to what could, but probably won't, be the last round of Groundhog Day Mk. 8! After round 9, we were left with a tie between Polynesia and Brazil, with two victory points each. If neither of them triumphs in this round, the game will move to tiebreakers. Now, let's get started!

Andorra makes a terrible mistake and settles on the wrong side of Tunis, while Milan seems to have made a questionable settlement choice of its own.

The Papal States did what? Uh...

The first war begins when the Almohads and the Dervishes declare war on the Kulin. The rough terrain and small armies involved may make conquest difficult, however.

The next war starts between Polynesia and a coalition of Portugal and the Aztecs. This is no surprise, as Kamehameha is holding to his reputation as "Hiawatha of the sea" and has already founded four cities.

The Aztecs capture Samoa, while the Papal States make another extremely questionable settlement choice.

Oh, something actually did happen here. The Kulin make peace with the Almohads and give away Barere Barere Balug, a city Abd al-Mu'min will be unable to reach until he researches optics.

In a move that should surprise no one, Brazil attacks the Papal States and goes after Innocent's bizarre forward settle.

Polynesia retakes Samoa and makes peace with the Aztecs. The coalition war is a failure!

And Benevento falls to Brazil, not that there was any other possible outcome.

Kamehameha joins the war against the Papal States, seeking to get rid of some pesky forward settles near his own territory. Can a capital count as a forward settle? No? Fine.

Tunis and Greece attack Andorra, which is a very good move considering that Roger Bernard has no units defending Escaldes at all.

The Aztecs are the last to sign on to the anti-Papal coalition, but they do at least have a shot at Rome.

That same turn, Tunis easily captures Escaldes. It's been rare for Tunis to capture anything in this game; is this a good sign, or does it just mean that the Buccs will soon declare war?

Portugal attacks Polynesia again, which also shows us that Kamehameha has razed Benevento when I wasn't looking.

Bulgaria declares war on Madagascar, triggering a conflict over the notoriously difficult-to-capture city of Toliara.

In a surprise turn of events, Tunis captures Andorra la Vella, even though Greece did much of the work. Roger Bernard III of Andorra is eliminated in 21st place.

Portugal's swift and powerful naval attack easily captures the indefensible city of Nuku Hiva.

Turn 100 arrives, and with it the first round of stats. The Almohads actually have the largest army at the moment, while Poverty Point just barely edges out Brazil for second place.

However, Brazil holds a decisive lead in crop yield, because Pedro drives his peasants hard to produce enough food for the 24/7 carnival.

And Brazil and Poverty Point are exactly tied in production. Good think Pedro is using all those hammers primarily to produce carnival floats.

Greece attacks Milan, but considering how tangled their empires and armies are, you could almost call this a civil war.

Greece triumphs, however, capturing Brescia and immediately signing peace with Milan.

Oh, I see where Pedro has actually been putting his production. Having completed the Great Wall, it's now safe to say that Brazil isn't going anywhere any time soon.

After a very long battle, Bulgaria finally manages to capture Toliara!

...Only to lose it right back again with little hope of impending reversal.

After a siege that honestly took way too long, Polynesia finally captures Rome, eliminating Innocent III of the Papal States in 20th place.

Brazil then teams up with the Aztecs to attack Madagascar, which has been weakened by its long war with Bulgaria.

Eleftherios Venizelos decides to finish what he started and attacks Milan a second time! (As a side note, this is probably the first time Gian Galeazzo has unlocked composite bowmen before pikemen. Yeah, he normally has a pretty weird research order.)

Brazil takes Mahajanga, as a single Aztec trireme stands and watches, thinking "If only..."

Brazil also takes Toliara, cutting off Krum from his enemy.

"In that case, why not just declare war on Brazil," he thinks. And so he does.

And on the other side of the map, Greece has captured Milan, eliminating Gian Galeazzo of Milan in 19th place.

Tunis and the Almohads immediately attack Greece, seeking justice for Milan. Or perhaps they just want land, who knows.

Sure enough, Bulgaria manages to take Toliara from Brazil, but can they hold it? If it flips back, the Great Wall will make it much harder to recover.

Indeed, it soon flips back, and the Bulgarian attack force has dissolved.

Tunis takes Heraklion, which is worth something I guess.

Greece then makes peace with Tunis and gives away Patras. To be honest, I just don't see Tunis holding this city for very long.

Serer makes peace with Brazil and gives away Kahone. Wow. I guess Ama Joof just likes the carnival or something.

Tunis and the Almohads attack the Kulin, but the real content of this picture—which I didn't even notice until I advanced to the next turn—is that Greece has made peace with the Almohads and given away Milan. I mean, what the fuck?

Brazil declares war on Serer again, giving Ama Joof an opportunity to recapture the city he so foolishly gave away.

As turn 200 rolls around, the stats show that Brazil now has the largest army. I have a bad feeling about this.

Poverty Point has a very slight lead in technologies. Too early to say much about it yet.

Brazil also has the most production, but Tunis isn't too far behind.

Anyway, returning to the game, we find that Brazil has declared war on Portugal, triggering a race to see who can capture Kahone first.

And Portugal wins the race, taking Kahone to nicely fill out the not-insignificant Portuguese Empire.

Poverty Point and the Dervishes team up against Scotland. Robert the Bruce sighs and says "Not again..."

But the situation suddenly becomes more complicated as Poverty Point also declares war on the Netherlands, giving Scotland an unofficial ally!

But that won't save Robert the Bruce, as the Dervishes capture Glasgow.

Scotland retakes the city, only to face down a declaration of war from the Manx. In the background, Bulgaria attacks Turkey.

In a surprising twist, Scotland captures Jaketown after the Netherlands bombarded the city to red. Fun fact: this city contains the Terracotta Army.

But Scotland doesn't hold it for long as the Manx swoop in to take the city. At the same time, Scotland loses Glasgow to the Dervishes again.

And guess what: Scotland takes Jaketown again!

We briefly interrupt the saga of Robert the Bruce to inform you that the Aztecs and Brazil have both declared war on Polynesia!

Anyway, back to our main point of interest, where the Dervishes have now captured Jaketown from Scotland.

Poverty Point strikes back at the Netherlands, capturing Utrecht, which was cut off from the rest of William's empire.

And the Dervishes take Edinburgh, eliminating Robert the Bruce of Scotland in 18th place.

The Buccaneers attack Polynesia, and there is a certain one tile island city that might be in trouble...

In a somewhat surprising move, Bulgaria captures Ankara with a naval attack, and Krum has enough ships to keep flipping it for a while.

RIP Tahiti; the Buccaneers have already captured it.

The Aztecs make good on their DOW against Polynesia by taking Samoa, but it's not clear that this fragile conquest will hold.

Apparently Bulgaria was also at war with Poverty Point, because Krum has captured Claiborne! The Bulgarian Empire now consists of no less than four separate sections not connected to one another by land.

Polynesia retakes Samoa and makes peace with the Aztecs. So much for that, I guess.

After a ridiculous and infuriating siege that took something like 30 or 40 turns, the Almohads finally capture Mooroolbark, uniting their overseas territories.

The Dervishes attack Poverty Point and immediately move on the capital. Táhera is woefully unprepared for this!

In just three turns, the Dervishes take Poverty Point, exiling Táhera to her mountain stronghold of Utrecht.

The Almohads and the Buccaneers then declare war on the ascendant Dervishes.

Turn 300 comes bearing statistics. They tell us that Brazil still leads in military, but that that lead is tenuous, with Tunis just 4,000 soldiers behind.

Tunis and Brazil are tied for the lead in technologies too.

But Tunis holds the top spot in production, while Brazil is fourth. The gap is narrow, however, with any of the top four easily in contention.

Eleftherios Venizelos drags Abu Zakariya along on his revenge campaign against the Almohads. Only, his losses in their previous war were self-inflicted, so I'm not sure he fully understands the concept.

This new side campaign won't distract Tunis from harassing the Dervishes, however, and so Abu Zakariya captures Glasgow with a naval attack.

The Aztecs and Brazil attack Portugal, reigniting a region of the world that was bloody at first but has since been pretty quiet.

Greece takes Milan! Congrats, you've undone your own stupid mistake.

The Dervishes, meanwhile, have retaken Glasgow but lost Las Anod to the Buccaneers. Various civs make peace with the Almohads.

As the Aztecs capture Porto from Portugal, it seems that Polynesia has given away Rome to Brazil in a peace treaty I originally missed.

The Dervishes retake Las Anod but lose Glasgow (to the Buccs this time). Will the cycle ever end?

The Kulin agree to peace with Tunis and give away Coolaroo. Abu Zakariya has to use a microscope to detect the increase in his empire's size.

Using units sent through Aztec territory to Rome, Brazil manages to take Porto, which Portugal had flipped back from the Aztecs, In response to the sudden obstruction, Montezuma makes peace with Pombal.

Pedro further expands his odd northern holdings by making peace with Portugal and receiving Kahone in the peace treaty.

But Brazil is at war with Serer, so Pedro loses the city immediately. Gods this is weird.

The Aztecs decide to attack Polynesia again, and this time Montezuma is focusing straight in on Samoa.

Out of nowhere, five civs attack the Dervishes, including the Manx, the Netherlands, and the Kulin. At least Mohammad Hassan has managed to make peace with the Buccs without losing any cities.

Five more wars are declared on the following turn, most importantly between Tunis and the Buccaneers. For once, Tunis is the aggressor here, and Abu Zakariya already seems to have the upper hand.

However, Abu Zakariya loses Coolaroo, which he didn't defend because he forgot he owned it.

The Aztecs take Samoa for the second time. You know what they say: third time's a.... oh shit, spoilers.

An overwhelming Tunisian naval force makes short work of Nassau, suggesting that Henry Morgan's early push on Coolaroo was nothing more than a strategic sacrifice by Abu Zakariya.

The Tunisian wave continues forward, taking Tortuga and closing in on Port Royal itself.

Meanwhile, Portugal has captured Glasgow, and the Isle of Man is closing in on Edinburgh.

Tunis takes Port Royal! Buccaneer resistance is all but wiped out; only two minor pirate cities remain.

The Dervishes recapture Glasgow but lose Edinburgh to the Manx.

Illiam Dhone then captures Glasgow as well!

The Dervishes take back both Edinburgh and Glasgow, only to lose Jaketown to a surprise Dutch incursion.

Tunis takes Coolaroo, leaving the Buccaneers exiled on a one tile island.

The Dervishes make peace with the Manx, having preserved their original borders. They've even recovered Jaketown from the Netherlands.

Brazil wins the world's fair project. Interestingly, Portugal is second.

And at last, Tunis captures and razes Tahiti, eliminating Henry Morgan of the Buccaneers in 17th place. Side note: holy shit, it's turn 364 and we still have 16 civs left?

Before the flames have even died down in Tahiti, Tunis attacks its next target: the Kulin. Poor William Barak won't stand a chance.

The Dervishes make peace with the Netherlands and receive Rotterdam in the peace treaty! Somehow, Mohammad Hassan has managed to come out of this coalition war with more than he started with.

After five turns of battle, Coranderrk falls, eliminating William Barak of the Kulin in 16th place.

Meanwhile, Portugal attempts to regain some lost glory by attacking Serer.

And Polynesia makes peace with the Aztecs, stalling them at the gates of Honolulu by giving away Tonga. (This is the civ equivalent of yelling "Squirrel!" at a charging pitbull and throwing your Subway sandwich as far as you can.)

Mohammad Hassan never gets a break, does he! Not long after the previous round of wars ended, the Dervishes are once again under attack, this time from a coalition of Tunis and the Isle of Man.

Portugal captures Kahone, but Pombal has a ways to go before he retakes everything he lost.

The coalition against the Dervishes acts quickly, as the Manx take Glasgow and Tunis captures Las Anod.

Glasgow flips back to the Dervishes and then to Tunis instead of the Manx.

And the Dervishes take back Glasgow yet again, only to lose Edinburgh to the Isle of Man.

Time for the turn 400 stats! Tunis has surpassed Brazil in military manpower, and Montezuma has almost caught up with Pedro as well.

Brazil and Tunis remain tied in technologies.

And Tunis still leads in production, but Brazil has climbed above the Dervishes and the Almohads (or, more plausibly, the Dervishes and the Almohads have fallen below Brazil).

Oh shit! Brazil's narrow military lead over the Aztecs is about the be tested as Pedro declares war on Montezuma!

The Dervishes make peace with Tunis, leaving Abu Zakariya with only Las Anod while the Manx continue to fight, capturing Glasgow.

The Aztecs immediately push for Brazil's northern colonies, capturing Rome and advancing on Porto.

And Porto falls as well. It's not clear what the southern front looks like though.

Our first view of the southern front reveals that the Aztecs are struggling badly. Brazil has captured Tlatelolco and has bombarded Tenochtitlan into the red.

Tenochtitlan falls! This is devastating for the Aztecs, who are now stuck with 7 cities, none of which have more than 11 pop.

The Manx continue their invasion of the Dervishes, capturing Jaketown.

After flipping Tenochtitlan once, Montezuma makes peace with Brazil, resigning himself to defeat.

In a last-minute push, the Dervishes retake Jaketown and Glasgow before making peace with the Isle of Man. I don't know how Mohammad Hassan does this...

Tunis attacks the Almohads! Abd al'Mu'min might have a hard time defending his two former Kulin cities, which are not connected by land to his capital and are not on the coast.

The Aztecs, having rebuilt a respectable army, decide it's time to finish off Polynesia.

The Dervishes also embark on their own journey of extermination, this time against the Netherlands.

Honolulu falls! How does that feel, losing your capital to a civ whose own capital is an 8-pop city that used to belong to you?

That same turn, Tunis takes Mooroolbark from the Almohads.

Aotearoa falls, exiling Polynesia onto a one tile snow island. At least Kamehameha still has a decent navy.

I forgot Serer and Brazil were even at war, but apparently Pedro didn't, because he just captured Diakhao.

And the Dervishes take Amsterdam, eliminating William of the Netherlands in 15th place.

Suddenly, Brazil declares war on the Aztecs again! And this time, Montezuma has little hope of mounting a successful defense.

Teotihuacan quickly falls, and Samoa flips.

On the next turn, Samoa is captured again...

Meanwhile, Serer decides to commit suicide by declaring war on the Dervishes.

Turn 500 arrives, amazingly with 14 civs still alive and kicking. However, the stats show that Tunis is the clear leader in military manpower.

Tunis has also pulled away from Brazil in tech, but only by one.

And Tunis still leads in production, but the margin is smaller than it was before.

Brazil continues to play catch-up with Tunis by capturing more cities. By which I mean, Texcoco has fallen.

Honolulu falls! The Aztecs are just getting torn apart!

Tunis finally captures Barere Barere Balug, completing their conquest of the Almohad Overseas Territories.

Brazil takes Porto and Rome; only two cities remain...

Aotearoa falls...

We briefly interrupt this broadcast to note that Bulgaria has attacked the Almohads. Thank you.

After a short siege, the Derishes capture Kaolack, eliminating Ama Joof of Serer in 14th place.

Illiam Dhone declares war on Pombal, but is it just me or is Portugal's army a lot bigger?

Bulgaria finally takes Fes, uniting three of the four chunks of their empire (which had previously been connected only over water).

And after putting very little effort into taking Tonga, Brazil FINALLY captures the city, eliminating Montezuma of the Aztecs in 13th place.

The Almohads make peace with Tunis and gives away Marrakech, a city which Abu Zakariya has no easy way of reaching.

Seems I was right about the Manx and Portugal, as Pombal pushes back and takes Peel.

But the Manx take it back and make peace. That was anticlimactic.

Pombal realizes there's nothing quite like taking a city so bad it will make your empire worse, and so he declares war on Kamehameha.

Three turns later, Portugal takes Raiatea, eliminating Kamehameha of Polynesia in 12th place. But that very same turn, Brazil attacks Portugal!

Raiatea falls very quickly, while Pombal struggles to hold the line everywhere else.

Kahone is captured, as Brazil finally recovers the last of the cities it lost in various odd twists of fate so far this round.

After a very long war (and not the first either), Bulgaria finally takes Utrecht, eliminating Táhera of Poverty Point in 11th place. That same turn, Bulgaria declares war on Turkey.



(Seriously, not long after Poverty Point was reduced to one city, Utrecht became the city with the highest defensive strength on the map. It had 65 CS way before it was cool; nothing else even had 60, not even Rio or Tunis. Bulgaria tried to take it with crossbowmen. It didn't work.)

Pedro slowly envelops Portugal in his hug of death. Sintra has fallen.

Oieras is taken...

Nuku Hiva falls...

And at last Lisbon is captured, eliminating Pombal of Portugal in 10th place.

On the very next turn, Bulgaria captures Istanbul, eliminating Mustafa Kemal Ataturk of Turkey in 9th place.

And then Brazil declares war on Bulgaria! This might actually be Pedro's most challenging fight yet, as it forces him to attack a bottleneck backed up by a core of high-production cities that he can't reach.

That same turn, the Dervishes declare war on a heavily carpeted Isle of Man.

Brazil takes Pliska. Where has Bulgaria's army gone?

As the Dervishes fight tooth and nail against the Manx, a wind rises in the west, and suddenly Tunis is on top of them! Yes, Abu Zakariya has at last declared war on Mohammad Hassan!

Aha, that's where Krum's army went! He was busy taking Tinmel, eliminating Abd al-Mu'min of the Almohads in 8th place.

The Dervishes take Edinburgh, but this may be their last conquest before they are absorbed by Tunis.

Taleh falls, adding another "lost capital" notification alongside the one from the fall of Tinmel.

Tunis takes Edinburgh and Buuhoodle! Mohammed Hassan keeps fighting, but it's too little, too late.

Turn 600 arrives, bringing with it more stats. In a turn of events that does not bode well for the possibility of overtime rounds, Brazil has overtaken Tunis in military manpower by a significant margin.

The two superpowers are still tied in technologies.

And Brazil has overtaken Tunis in production by over 300 hammers. This really doesn't look good.

The Dervishes take back Edinburgh from Tunis, but lose Glasgow.

But nothing will stop Abu Zakariya, who keeps moving forward, taking Edinburgh and Poverty Point.

Jaketown soon follows. (If you're wondering about the capital notifications on the side of every one of these screenshots, it's Pliska flipping between Brazil and Bulgaria every goddamn turn.)

Rotterdam falls, leaving the Dervishes with the last cities of the two civs they eliminated.

At the last moment, the Manx declare war on the Dervishes, seeking to take both cities.

Amsterdam falls to Illiam Dhone's surprise attack.

And Kaolack soon follows, eliminating Mohammed Hassan of the Dervishes in 7th place.

Here's the current state of Pliska, which is still flipping every couple of turns. Bulgaria has done an amazing job holding the line, really.

But Krum is out of time. Tunis has declared war and is launching a huge invasion from the northwest!

Tinmel and Utrecht fall on the second turn of the war.

Claiborne falls on the third turn.

It takes Tunis a little longer to get to Istanbul and Ankara, but Abu Zakariya eventually takes those as well. Somehow, Krum is still flipping his capital back and forth with Brazil.

Krum makes peace with Pedro and gives away Tarnovo. Pliska is cut off from his other cities, possibly protecting him from Tunis.

Tunis takes Fes..

And Tunis also takes Tarnovo. The conquest of Bulgaria ends here.

On the very text turn, Brazil starts another war, this time against the Manx.

But first, Tunis wins the international games by over 1,300 hammers.

Kaolack falls as Brazilian planes tear through Illiam Dhone's defenses.

Peel is captured as well.

But before Brazil can advance any farther, Tunis joins the war, pushing from the west with an equally advanced invasion force.

Brazil captures Amsterdam...

Tunis takes Castletown...

...And Brazil takes Douglas, eliminating Illiam Dhone of the Manx in 6th place.

Abu Zakariya then decides to clean up his longtime neighbour and declares war on Greece.

Thessaloniki and Athens both fall on the fourth turn of the war.

Brescia is captured three turns later...

And eight turns after the war began, Milan, falls, eliminating Eleftherios Venizelos of Greece in 5th place.

Just a few turns later, Tunis makes the decisive move and declares war on Brazil! Holy cow!

Amsterdam falls! Tunis is actually doing it!

Douglas is captured!

Peel falls!

Tarnovo is captured...

Brazil retakes Peel but loses Kaolack.

The bloody battle is interrupted by the turn 700 stats, which show that Tunis has a much larger army than Brazil.

Tunis also has two more techs than Brazil.

And Abu Zakariya has gone from 330 hammers behind Brazil to 570 hammers ahead in the course of just 100 turns. Absolutely legendary.

Moving back to the ongoing war, we see that Tunis has bypassing the isthmus of Pliska and captured Toliara.

And the two sides make peace with Toliara and Peel in Tunisian hands and Kaolack under Brazilian control.

But, 32 turns later, Tunis attacks Brazil a second time! Abu Zakariya is not done, boys!

Kaolack is the first city to fall as Diakhao is bombarded into the black.

Diakhao falls as Peel flips offscreen.

Tunis takes a momentary break from war to win the international space station project by a ridiculous margin.

Sintra falls, and it seems that Kahone and Lisbon have been nuked.

Pedro claws back a little bit of territory, recapturing Diakhao and Sintra.

But Tunis retakes both cities, and it becomes clear that Abu Zakariya has been popping off nukes like nobody's business. Fortaleza, Porto, Nuku Hiva, and Rio de Janeiro have all been nuked; Rio has clearly been hit multiple times as it's all the way down to 4 pop.

Tunis creeps into Lisbon, and Rome is nuked.

Kahone falls. Abu Zakariya is launching a nuke almost every turn, usually hitting cities he's already targeted before.

Turn 800 arrives, showing us that both civs militaries have increased in size since turn 700, but the bulk of the growth has gone to Tunis.

Tunis has also widened the tech gap from two techs to five.

And Tunis has almost three times as much production as Brazil. I'd say this is just about over.

Down south, Abu Zakariya opens a new front, taking São Paulo.

Porto falls; Honolulu joins the "cities that have been nuked" club.

Brazil retakes Porto but loses Nuku Hiva.

And then Pedro just... gives up. Brazil hands over almost its entire east coast: Tlaxcala, Tenochtitlan, Texcoco, Samoa, and Honolulu. Brazil does at least end the war in possession of São Paulo and Toliara.

33 turns later, turn 850 rolls around so I declare total war.

Pedro immediately takes Antananarivo, eliminating Ranavalona I of Madagascar in 4th place. Wait, she was still alive?

Two turns later, Tunis captures Pliska, eliminating Krum of Bulgaria in third place.

Tunis advances with unprecedented speed, capturing Rome, Fortaleza, Teotihuacan, São Paulo, Toliara, and Antananarivo.

Tonga falls...

And then Tunis takes Aotearoa, Oieras, Nuku Hiva, and Salvador.

And at last, Rio falls, ending it all. Only, it hasn't all ended, because we still have a tie between Polynesia and Brazil. Tunis has won the round, preventing Pedro from winning the Mark outright, but this battle is not over yet.

The score now stands as follows:



Brazil: 2

Polynesia: 2

Tunis: 1

The Buccaneers: 1

The Aztecs: 1

Madagascar: 1

Poverty Point: 1

Turkey: 1



Thank you for watching, and I'll be back in two weeks with the first tiebreaker round. (Yes, two weeks. I'm going on vacation next week and can't work on it.) Just a little refresher on tiebreaker rounds: these extra rounds will continue until there is no longer a tie, at which point the game will immediately conclude.



See you all later!