FADE IN.





.INT-BARNEY SCOTT’S OFFICE ROOM-AFTERNOON





Barney Scott, an out of shape middle aged man, is sleeping at his desk.





His office is a mess with newspapers and beer cans scattered about.





Mr. We knocks on his door and Barney Scott wakes up fast after hearing the knock.





BARNEY SCOTT

Underpants. I mean, come in.





Mr. We enters Barney Scott’s office smoking a cigar and Barney Scott rubs his head.





MR. WE

I thought my carnival was a dump. Your office makes my carnival look like Charming Castle.





BARNEY SCOTT

Sorry, I’m working on cleaning up this big mess, now why are you here?





Barney Scott pulls out his flask and begins drinking from it.





MR. WE

My name is Mr. We and I run a carnival just a couple of miles from your detective office.





BARNEY SCOTT

A little forewarning, Mr. We, I have a killer hangover right now. So, I’m barely listening to you. But tell me, what’s up?





Barney Scott offers Mr. We a sip from his flask, but Mr. We refuses.





MR. WE

You see, Mr. Scott, my carnival is known for it’s freak show and sadly the attendance has slipped since my prized freak, The Wild Man, ran away years ago.





Barney Scott burps while Mr. We puts out his cigar in Barney Scott’s ashtray.





BARNEY SCOTT

Why did he run away?





MR. WE

I guess he wanted to be with his family.





BARNEY SCOTT

Who’s his family, a wolf pack?





MR. WE

This is going to be a long story. Mr. Scott.





BARNEY SCOTT

In that case, I’ll grab another beer.





MR. WE

Do you read the newspaper, Mr. Scott?





BARNEY SCOTT

Love the newspaper. You in it?





MR. WE

No. But a key player in this case is.





Mr. We hands Barney Scott a newspaper and Barney Scott opens it to see money and a ticket to an upcoming sumo wrestling match.





Barney Scott counts the money, puts the money and the ticket in his pocket.





BARNEY SCOTT

So, why do you want to pay me to watch fat guys fight?





MR. WE

Because he’ll be there.





BARNEY SCOTT

Who? The Wild Man?





MR. WE

In a way, yes. Now again this is going to be a very long story.





SPOTTY (V.O.)

We have fast forward. Let’s see what Nick and Faterella are up too.





FADE TO BLACK.





FADE IN.





.INT-KITCHEN-NOON





Nick sleeps in the kitchen holding a broom in his hands.





Nick suddenly wakes up in a panic.





NICK

Crap! I have to make lunch for my whole family! In 30 seconds!





Nick rushes into the kitchen and he begins to make sandwiches and tea.





Nick’s Stepmother enters the kitchen.





STEPMOTHER

Slave, you forgot to do something for me today.





NICK

I have a name, you know. What did I forget, lunch? I’ll make it and...





STEPMOTHER

You forgot to get a gift for my daughters. It’s their birthday today.





NICK

Why do I need to get them a gift? You’re their mother.





STEPMOTHER

Don’t talk back to me.





NICK

But you say every day is my stepsisters’ birthday and it’s getting kind of old. I just thought one day someone would remember my birthday?





STEPMOTHER

Oh yes, when should we celebrate the slave’s birthday?





NICK

Today is my birthday, you old hag.





STEPMOTHER

Don’t you ever call me that again, slave. Now, get back to work and remember to pick up your sisters’ magazines.





NICK

Yes, master.





Nick’s Stepmother exits the kitchen and Nick continues making the sandwiches.





Nick pauses for a moment and snaps his fingers.





After Nick snaps his fingers, the sandwiches are already made to eat.





Nick snaps his fingers again and the broom comes to life and begins sweeping on it’s own.





Nick snaps his fingers again and three more brooms come to life and begin sweeping on their own.





While the brooms are sweeping by themselves Nick grabs a sack of gold coins from his stepmother’s handbag and heads out of the kitchen.





FADE TO BLACK.





FADE IN.





.EXT-SMALL VILLAGE-NOON





Nick walks through a small village passing by people and store fronts as he’s walking.





Nick passes by people eating at a restaurant and his stomach begins to growl.





Nick digs in a dumpster and he pulls of a piece of bread and begins to eat it.





Nick walks by a statue of King Charming riding a horse. Nick stops at the foot of the statue and kicks it in anger.





Nick’s foot begins to hurt and he rubbs it.





SPOTTY (V.O.)

I bet you guys think that Nick, Faterella and their family are broke, but actually their stepmother is a very wealthy woman. Their stepmother is actually the second richest person in Charming kingdom. Second to the royal Charming family themselves.





Nick sees a newsstand and he sees the vender sleeping at the newsstand.





Nick wakes the vender up.





Nick is about to pay the vender for the two fashion magazines when Nick sees a comic book that he likes on the newsstand.





NICK

Happy birthday.





Nick grabs the comic book and pays for the magazines and the comic book and walks away while the vender falls back asleep.





Nick is reading his comic book while walking home.





Nick walks past Spotty who is sleeping inside a cardboard box.





After Nick walks by, Spotty wakes up to see a gold coin left on the ground by Nick.





Spotty picks up the gold coin and puts it in his pocket.





SPOTTY

Good kid. Now where were we?





FADE OUT.





FADE IN.





.INT-FATERELLA’S BEDROOM-AFTERNOON





Nick sits in the corner of Faterella’s bedroom reading his comic book while Faterella is punching her punching bag.





NICK

Man, Faterella, do you ever wish we could have magical powers and be heroes? I sure would love that!





FATERELLA

Do you ever wonder if our stepmother even loves us?





Nick stops reading the comic book and walks towards Faterella and Nick puts his hand on Faterella’s shoulder.





NICK

She loves me as free labor and you as a way to make money. I’m the only true family you’ve got. We’re lucky to have each other.





Faterella punches the punching bag so hard it breaks.





Faterella sits down on the floor and tears begin to cover her face.





FATERELLA

Sometimes I wish I could leave this house and go somewhere on my own. I would love to walk through the town.





Nick cleans up the broken punching bag debris and Faterella gets up from the floor to helps.





NICK

Yah, I wish I could leave this place, too. Come on we have to get ready for your sumo wrestling match tonight. I’ll go get the butter.





Nick grabs a huge jar of butter while Faterella reads a fashion magazine.





FATERELLA

Nick, what if I didn’t want to be a sumo wrestler anymore?





NICK

What else would you want to do with your life? Besides we had this talk already and you said if you told me your dream job, I would laugh, remember?





FATERELLA

Nothing, it’s stupid anyway! Just get the butter ready.





Nick opens the jar of butter and grabs a huge handful of it.





NICK

Yeah, I hate rubbing it on you just to help you squeeze through the door.





Nick rubs the butter all over Faterella.





FATERELLA

Same here little bro.





NICK

Just don’t eat the butter this time.





While Nick rubs the butter onto Faterella, she scoops some butter to eat from the huge jar.





NICK

Do you have any idea where that butter has been? Trick question it’s all over you! Can’t believe you’re eating it right now.





FATERELLA

What, I eat when I’m sad.





NICK

You’re sad? About what?





FATERELLA

Nothing! It just has to do with my dream and how unlikely it’ll be to ever come true.





NICK

Well if you tell me what your dream is, I can guess how likely it is to come true.





FATERELLA

I want to be a supermodel.





NICK

Say what now?





FATERELLA

A supermodel. Like the girls in these magazines.





NICK

But they’re all thin. Plus, most modeling agencies have a type of girl they’re looking for and you are not it.





FATERELLA

Well maybe, if I were to lose weight.





NICK

True. But that might take a while and let’s be honest, even if you’re thin, the odds of you becoming a supermodel are highly unlikely.





FATERELLA

Why?





NICK

I don’t want to say it. But I guess I will. Sometimes you look like a man.





FATERELLA

Excuse me?





NICK

You look like a man sometimes. Like when you sumo wrestle, you just look like another fat guy.





FATERELLA

But I have boobs.





NICK

So do fat guys.





FATERELLA

I’m really that ugly, huh?





NICK

I’m not saying your ugly. I would never say that.





FATERELLA

But you said I look like a man.





NICK

Look like a man sometimes. Maybe you could get a makeover?





FATERELLA

Or could lose 480 pounds.





NICK

Alright, forget I said anything. Let’s just push you out the door now.





Nick pushes Faterella through her bedroom door and she squeezes through due to the fact she’s covered in butter.





Nick and Faterella go down the long staircase.





Faterella pulls out her fashion magazine and she looks at the cover.





On the cover of the magazine is a picture of Prince Charming surrounded by thin beautiful women.





FATERELLA

Someday.





FADE TO BLACK.