Some of the strongest reactions by readers come when they discuss their experiences flying in the U.S., and have to encounter the agents of Transportation Security Administration, or TSA. Those agents are the dictators who order you around when you’re passing through security, make you stand in the See-You-Naked Machine, and run their hands over your body. I myself have groused at least twice (here and here) for being groped by agents on the “buttocks” (the term they use when they’re about to goose you.) The TSA has been the butt (pun intentional) of much malice and ridicule everywhere, and is repeatedly accused of promulgating ineffective “security theater.” Those accusations are on the money.

What’s been missing so far is an “inside” view of the TSA written by a real agent. Well, that’s been rectified by the publication of a piece in Jan. 30’s Politico Magazine by ex-TSA agent Jason Edward Harrington: “Dear America, I saw you naked.” During and after getting his bachelor’s degree here in Chicago, Harrington worked six years as an agent for the TSA. He quickly got fed up with the stupidity, vindictiveness, and ineffectiveness of the agency, and eventually started an anonymous website with the TSA’s initials, “Taking Sense Away.” (Harrington is still posting there from time to time although he left the agency to go to grad school in creative writing.)

Harrington’s Politico piece is not a detailed analysis of the TSA, but an insider’s view of what goes on at an airport checkpoint. And it confirms all the bad things we thought about airport security. Here are some of his allegations:

The original See-You-Naked Machines were completely ineffective, and in fact you could smuggle a gun through them if it was hidden on the side of your body.That was discovered and publicized by blogger Jon Corbett on YouTube in this video:

There are new scanners now, but I suspect the same problem applies, although a metal detector could pick up small guns, knives, and the like.

The TSA agents (especially the men) have their own special jargon, much of which is sexist. For example, there are several code words for attractive female passengers, including “Code Red” (for a female wearing red), “Fanny Pack, Lane 2,” “X-ray X-ray, X-ray!,” and “Hotel Papa.” Given the multiplicity of terms, the male agents must spend a lot of time ogling women. There are also some humorous terms, though, including this phrase (the article includes a glossary of TSA jargon):

“Baby-shower-opt-out: When a woman opts out of the full body scanner and accidentally lets slip the explanation: “I don’t want to go through the scanner. I’m pregnant,” evoking a shriek from her fellow traveling companions, “Why didn’t you tell us, Becky? OH EM GEE!?” A mini celebration then takes place right there in the line. It is one of the few heartwarming things that ever come about due to the full body scanners.”

Actress Eva Mendes, in fact, just refused a scan in lieu of a body search, leading to rumors (which her people deny) that she’s carrying Ryan Gosling’s child.

Harrington had to do some ridiculous confiscations, including nail clippers from pilots (were they going to hijack their own plane with the clippers?), and tells this story:

“Once, in 2008, I had to confiscate a bottle of alcohol from a group of Marines coming home from Afghanistan. It was celebration champagne intended for one of the men in the group—a young, decorated soldier. He was in a wheelchair, both legs lost to an I.E.D., and it fell to me to tell this kid who would never walk again that his homecoming champagne had to be taken away in the name of national security.”

In the “IO room,” where agents are sequestered to examine the full-body scans in real time, they’d often gather and make fun of passenger’s bodies, particularly if they had piercings or were obese. TSA officers who were romantically involved would often ask to be assigned to that room so they could kanoodle on duty, presumably neglecting the inspections while they were snogging.

Passengers who were rude would sometimes have their bags hand inspected or be searched bodily as retribution. The TSA agents’ term for this was “retailiatory wait time”; as Harrington notes:

“Retaliatory wait time: What happens when a TSA officer doesn’t like your attitude. There are all sorts of ways a TSA officer can subtly make you wait longer to get through security, citing imaginary alarms, going “above the SOP” for “a more thorough screening,” pretending that something in your bag or on your full body image needs to be resolved—the punitive possibilities are endless, and there are many tricks in the screener’s bag.”

For several years, until it was leaked, the TSA had a secret list of 12 countries whose citizens were automatically screened more intensively: their luggage was examined minutely and they were given full-body patdowns. This is, of course, profiling by nationality. The countries listed were Syria, Algeria, Afghanistan, Iraq, Iran, Yemen, Cuba, Lebanon, Libya, Somali, Sudan, and North Korea. Finally, Harrington implies that background checks of prospective agents were lax: he notes that one agent found out that the TSA had hired him but hadn’t run a background check even four years later. While this piece is not an official analysis of TSA’s efficiency (I believe they’ve had those, and found in tests that people can get a lot of dangerous things through the scanners and X-ray machines), it does confirm that the agents are rude, sexist, retaliatory, and behave in ways that run counter to the agency’s mission to detect terrorists. Personally, I think the whole agency needs a top-to-bottom house cleaning. In Europe, for example, they usually don’t make you take your shoes off. Is that still really necessary? That’s only because of the shoe bomber, but that for one unsuccessful guy millions are now inconvenienced. Are those full-body scanners really effective? Is it ethical to search everyone just on the basis of nationality, or are there better ways of profiling, such as that employed by El Al? Regardless, the TSA, while looking pretty clumsy, has at the same time angered nearly every traveling American (and many foreigners) at one time or another.

You can see a short CNN video report on Harrington’s piece here.

If you like, use the comments to blow off steam and recount your annoying/infuriating encounters with the TSA. Personally, I find the agents generally rude and dictatorial: people who have never had power over others and, now that they have it, use it to treat the passengers like cattle.