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Prescription medications undergo rigorous rounds of testing and approval before hitting the consumer market. The Onion breaks down the steps involved in this process:

STEP 1

Cage full of mice killed

STEP 2

Human test subjects selected from representative group of subway passengers looking to make $250


STEP 3

Clipboard time, baby!

STEP 4

Lucky bastard manages to reap psychological benefit from sugar pill

STEP 5

Research destroyed when trysting young lab assistants knock over entire tray of blood samples


STEP 6

7-milligram group starts to act pretty weird

STEP 7

Third phase of trial expands testing outward from group of 100 healthy adults to water supply of Topeka, KS


STEP 8

Voice actor splinters under pressure of cramming 17 side effects into final six seconds of radio ad


STEP 9

Trials taken back to the drawing board after medication’s profitability remains inconclusive