Andrea Iapaolo,

Wise Women Productions

I am 52 years old and perimenopause began for me, 9 years ago. My menstrual cycle used to come like clockwork every single month. I knew the exact day and time it would appear, and it lasted for the same amount of days each time. Day 1, medium flow, very bloated, lots of cramps, day 2, 3 and 4, super heavy flow, very bloated no cramps, day 5 and 6, medium to light flow, less bloating, some more cramping and day 7, light in the morning, intermittent spotting in the afternoon and finished by the evening. Then, seemingly out of the blue, it changed. I never knew exactly when it would show up or how long it would last. Sometimes it came twice in one month and other times it came once every two or three months. Because my mother shared her menopausal journey with me, I knew it was the beginning of perimenopause. One year later I began to bleed, and I bled for 35 days straight. I became weak and tired all the time and finally chose to go to the hospital to see what they would say. As it turns out, I needed a blood transfusion. After that they wanted to send me for all kinds of tests, ultrasounds etc. because they believed that the bleeding was caused by fibroids, tumors or cancer. I told them excitedly, that it was perimenopause, they said I was too young, I told them that my mother experienced the same lengthy bleed which led to the onset of her perimenopause, they said that I didn’t know what I was talking about. I left the hospital that day. I continued to bleed for another 20 days but I did some research on how to use food and supplements to keep my energy and mood optimal. Thus, my phenomenal transformation had begun.

I was interested to feel her emotional, mental, physical and spiritual changes, as all my systems and processes on every level, realigned and upgraded. I was excited to receive the many gifts, understandings and opportunities she had to offer me. I perceived my menopausal journey. as a time to grow and to use her many symptoms, discomforts and dis-eases to practice deeper self love, to choose how to experience menopause and to move through it with my partner, by my side, while he too profoundly experienced all of her Divine wisdom through me. I would say to him, “I’m not experiencing menopause, we are.”

I let menopause all the way in, I received her. My weight went way down and way up, as did my moods, I was bloated and crampy most of the time, I had insomnia for almost a year, I had headaches, hot flashes, urinary tract infections and temper tantrums. It wasn’t easy, but I was determined to meet her with reverence, commitment and love. I ritualized my days, took care of my needs and did my daily work remembering to be graceful and grateful for this phenomenal journey. I became highly attuned to my body, acutely feeling the profound changes and that gave me clarity and confidence. I felt the surges of hormones, along with an increase in mental, emotional stamina, energy and the ability to hold my focus, no matter what was going on around me. My partner followed my lead. He would remark about how I spoke or moved, saying that it was not only different but deep, connected and inclusive. He began to think differently too, and he began to use his experience of my menopausal journey to inform his decisions and thoughts. I would often feel waves of peace and stillness, which enabled me to find solutions quickly and helped me to more easily change my mind. Most of all though, I found I just didn’t care anymore about so many things I used to think were so important. I don’t care what others want from me or think about me, I no longer care about the past or the future, I’m not worried about the world, nor do I believe that anything is ever really wrong.

These sweet liberations, allow me to cut to the chase, tell the truth and exist in the creative simplicity of my life. I’m not saying it’s all just a walk in the park, what I’m saying is that I’ve realized that the discomfort, difficulties and dis-eases caused by menopause have become an exhilarating awareness of myself, instead of a blind suffering. The difficulties caused by menopause coaxed me to reach for a better version of myself and they ever more consistently show me glimpses of so much more of my authenticity to come.

I have been documenting my experience of menopause from the beginning. Writing down everything that happens and everything I’m learning, in the hopes of sharing it with other women. I have not bled now for over a year and most of my symptoms have dissipated, but my self care is the strongest it’s ever been. I still get some pretty amazing hot flashes, but when they hit me, I visualize the kundalini fire awakening me, my pineal gland opening up and a more enlightened sense of self emerging. I still have an over bloated belly that makes me look 6 months pregnant, back aches and headaches, but what extraordinary opportunities these physical symptoms have offered me.

I feel strong and spry and light, so does my health and my daily practice and I feel confident, connected, energetic, creative, sensual, more beautiful than ever, highly intuitive, tapped in, completely devoted to myself and my work and ready for everything.

Tell your story of perimenopause, tune into your experience and keep track of yourself. Share your experience, empower it and love yourself more deeply through it. From the inside out. It falls to women to change the pervasive perception of menopause by changing their own perception of her, or to become an influencer in the world by influencing her own menopausal transformation and to lead by deciding, for herself the meaning of menopause. Our individual perception of menopause will inform our experience of her and our collective female perception of menopause will inform the global collective experience of her. The more we tell our stories, the more information there is about menopause, let’s talk to our daughters early on about menstruation, procreation, pregnancy, birth, perimenopause, menopause, postmenopause and aging and let’s leave them a legacy of purpose, leadership, agency, worthiness, empowerment, and wisdom. Let’s change the narrative from a horror story to a story about the true glory of what it means to be a woman, and then let’s live it bravely and celebrate it often.