Bet you didn't know that in addition to being America's arbiter of America's morality, Bill O'Reilly is a prophet. At least that's what he thinks now that a judge has ruled that Utah's laws governing non-legal polygamy (cohabitation) are unconstitutional (In other words, Bill Hendrickson's "Big Love" thing would now be fine). While the judge's decision has absolutely no connection to same sex marriage, Bill is patting himself on the back (must be quite the indentation there) over how his prediction, that gay marriage would lead to polygamy, has no come to pass. And now, resting securely on his delusional laurels, Bill is making another prediction. Last night, Bill, who is "looking out for the country," warned that same sex marriage will destroy the institution of marriage. Wonder if he still thinks that same sex marriage will lead to inter-species marriage? But it's funny because Bill's marriage came to a rather nasty end and I don't think it had *anything to do with gay marriage!

Judge Andrew Napolitano described the court decision which he supports. The judge articulated the libertarian view, that "it's none of the government's business who you live with, who you marry, and what your relationship is to them." He noted that for libertarians, "it's a good thing," but not so much for people like Bill who "think it's bad." O'Reilly said that because Napolitano is a libertarian he wants libertarian things. He added that "I don't do that, as you know." (WTF?) After the judge said "I want personal liberty," (not for abortion you don't!), Bill pontificated that he is "above" the judge because he views this from the perspective of "what's best for the country." O'Reilly, who is not a sociologist or a clinician but plays them on TV, opined that he doesn't think "chaos in the home is best for the country."

When the judge asked if gay marriage causes chaos in the home, O'Reilly responded that gay marriage doesn't but polygamy does. He cited a hypothetical polygamous situation to suggest that this causes family chaos as well as - wait for it - increased welfare payments. He accused Napolitano and Stossel of wanting people to do "anything they want." Bill alluded to - wait for it- "the dissolution of the African-American family, when 71% of African-American babies are born out of wedlock." (Can't resist slut shaming black women, can ya, Bill!) Napolitano responded that this is because of dependence on federal government. (Way to say that blacks are stupid and lazy, right Judge?)

America's patriarch said that "you have seen the chaos from the lack of a man, a father and a mother in the home." (Did Bill's kids "suffer" when their mother finally moved out of Bill's mansion?) His voice getting louder, Bill said that "society is adding more chaos on top of the dissolution of the traditional family and you libertarians are swell with this." Napolitano informed Bill that if the children are harmed, the state has the right to intervene. Bill's voice dripped with sarcasm as he said "it's too late then."

Bill closed in for the coup de resistance: "We went down this road of marriage equality, that's the euphemism...and what it is going to lead to is a fundamental dissolution of marriage in this country." To the judge's question of whether the government should tell us who we should live with, Bill pontificated, "all I am doing is looking out for the country...and I'm right and you're wrong as usual."

In addition to pulling, as Senator Al Franken used to say, facts from his ass, Bill O'Reilly is no pulling predictions from his pompous posterior. The great commonwealth of Massachusetts approved same sex marriage in 2004 and it still has the lowest rate of divorce. Now that same sex marriage has been legalized, gay couples are getting married (Your humble correspondent was a witness at a wonderful summer gay marriage!) and that means more marriages. If the marriage rate is going down, it is a result of many factors none of which relate to gay marriage or polygamy.

Bill O'Reilly really believes that he knows better than anybody what's best for America. In reality, he is a legend only in his mind. In reality, he has become a caricature of himself, the TV version of the old man yelling at kids to get off his lawn. Sad, actually...

*Could falafal have been a factor?