July 4 -

7:30 AM Eat breakfast on deck, alone, after passing mom in law and dad in law in kitchen, no morning greetings to be exchanged.

7:45 AM Sit in silence as Jenny gathers up beach bags, towels and picnic baskets to take kids down to beach. Try to hand her a towel, flinch if she yanks it from hand in a smacking manner.

8:30 AM Go to bathroom and come out to find Jenny scrolling through cell phone "Missed-Dialed-Received" boxes. Wait silently as she roots through undeleted text messages.

8:32 AM Get broom to sweep up remnants of cellphone off of floor, make note to self to ask father in law if he has wall spackle - after piece of phone gets pried from wall, it will leave a big hole.

8:35 AM Try patiently to get someone to speak about spackle, plans, and which golf cart to take to beach. If nobody speaks, sit in kitchen alone, looking at disconnected phone until they return.

8:40 AM Look at father in law's book collection. Try to find volume on "Argentina" or "South America", don't expect to find either.

8:42 AM Take nap. Dream of soulmate.

9:40 AM Take walk, see if anybody in neighborhood will loan a cellphone for an international call.

10:00 AM Look for store that sells groucho glasses or ski masks.

11:30 AM Lost, remember to take a map of the development out the next time I go for a 5 mile walk.

1:30 PM Back at in laws. Door to be locked, no key provided. Sit on deck, gnaw on melon rind from breakfast.

3:40 PM Family returns, says nothing. Father in law grunts at me on deck and snickers as he lets me in.

5:40 PM dinnertime. Table to be set with plates for everybody minus one. Stand on deck with paper plate, eating peanut butter sandwich.

7:50 PM fireworks display. Boys and Jenny to shoot bottle rockets and light firecrackers on deck. Aim to be really bad, lots of burn ointment to be in evidence.

10:00 PM Lights out. Father in law to lock me out on deck by "mistake".