When you're thinking about what makes a good, healthy relationship, it all comes down to the people involved. And you can feel it when you have a great girlfriend and when it all just works. But what makes it work isn't always something big or obvious — it doesn't come in a grand gesture. Just like the qualities that make a good boyfriend, sometimes, it's just a combination of the little things that make you realize you're with the right person.

Now, I completely admit that this list may seem super, super gross. Because love can be gross. I was rolling my eyes while I wrote it (which made typing really, really difficult). But even though it's gross, it's true. Some of it is from personal experience from my amazing girlfriend and some of it may be universal. Because even though every couple is unique, there are certain things that help make a lot of great couples great.

You'll probably have special things just between the two of you that didn't make this list, and that's totally fine. You should have things that are weird and unique to you two (like the fact that I somehow think "little gremlin" is an OK term of endearment for my girlfriend). But if you've ever had a really great girlfriend, or been one, this may ring true.

Here are little ways you know you have a winner:

1. Your Text Messages Might Make Anyone Else Want To Vomit

How many kisses should you add at the end? Three? 18? Probably 40. This is normal, right?

2. She Doesn't Mind If You're A Little Extra Smelly/Hairy/Whatever

True love means kissing first thing in the morning and not caring that your partner hasn't brushed their teeth or showered.

3. She Respects Your Time With Your Friends

She knows it's important for you to have other relationships with people, and that your relationship will be stronger for it.

4. ...And She Has Her Own Friends Outside Of You

You see that there are plenty of people that she cares about and respect how important those bonds are.

5. You Have Passions You Share

There are things that both of you care about it brings you closer.

6. ... And Passions That Remain Your Own

Some you time keeps your relationship strong in the long run, and you're both down with that.

7. Poop And Period Talk Doesn't Make Her Blink

"Oh, that sucks but you're always constipated before your period, so it'll be better soon!" = love.

8. Her Gifts Are More About Being Thoughtful Than Showing Off

She knows exactly what will make you smile and that a beaten up copy of your favorite play means a lot more rather than just spending a lot of money last-minute.

9. She Doesn't Take Any Sh*t From You

She's strong willed enough to call you out when you're being unreasonable.

10.... But Doesn't Hold A Bad Mood Against You

Everyone gets the grumps sometimes, and she understands if you're grouchy or distracted.

11. The Idea Of Long-Term With Her Doesn't Scare You

It just seems kind of obvious that you fit together, even if it's too early to plan for it.

12. She's Not Grossed Out By Your Gross, Gross Feet

Everyone's feet are gross. Science fact. But for some reason you think it's cute to touch each other's even without socks.

13. And You're Not Grossed Out When She's Sick

You just want to take care of her, and don't mind the snotty tissues everywhere, because she'll do exactly the same to you.

14. There's No Tension When You Decide What To Binge-Watch

New murder documentary or Arrested Development? It won't turn into a fight.

15. And You Actually Wait To Watch New Episodes With Each Other

There is no betrayal like watching the new Game Of Thrones without your watching buddy. I mean, it's full of effing sex and dragons so you'll only wait if it's true love.

16. She's More Than Happy To Put Up With Your Batsh*t Crazy Family

Because she knows how much it means to you, so she'll smile and be supportive while Aunt Sara drinks all the cooking sherry and starts crying about how she should have been a model.

17. She Wants To Spoil You

She just wants you to have all of the nice things all the time.

18. But You Want To Spoil Her Just As Much

You have this weird urge to make her breakfast in bed even though that means waking up before 9 a.m. on a Sunday.

19. She's Not Threatened By Your Friendship With Your Exes

You know how strong you are as a couple, so if someone you used to be with is around, she trusts you.

20. And She's Respectful About Her Exes

She doesn't trash them, because she's not cruel about people.

21. She Buys You That Food You Like Even Though She Hates It

Vegan cheese. My poor girlfriend buys me godamned vegan cheese. It's basically plastic sadness.

22. She Talks Openly About Sex

She's not afraid to discuss what she likes and what you'd like to try.

23. She Makes An Effort With Your Friends

She's not just glued next to you whispering in your ears at a party, because she knows your friends are important and wants to get to know them.

24. She Encourages You To Dream Big

Because she believes in you.

25. She Does Nice Things "Just Because"

That cup of coffee she made you for no reason can feel like a gift from the heavens on a day you really need it.

26. She Doesn't Try To Change You

She wants you to be your best you, but definitely you.

27. And You Have No Desire To Change Her

She's not perfect, but you love her as she is.

28. She Really Listens

She's not just letting you vent, she pays attention.

29. She Asks "How Can I Help?

Because she wants to make life better for you.

30. She Occasionally Watches That Thing She Hate Because You Love Watching It

Dancing. With. The. Stars.

31. She Talks To You About What's Bothering Her

No passive aggressive post-its about the dishes.

32. You Can Be Quiet With Her

You can just be.

33. She Makes You Laugh

It's the sexiest thing in the damned world and means she doesn't take herself too seriously.

34. She Constantly Surprises You

The way she lives her life inspires you.

35. She's Kind, To You And Everyone

Call me a sap, but it's the most import thing there is. "There's only one rule that I know of, babies — 'God damn it, you've got to be kind.'"

36. She Gives You The Last Spring Roll

... sometimes. I mean, she's not Mother Theresa.

37. She Knows The Names Of All Your Work Colleagues And All The Drama Despite Never Having Met A Damn One Of Them

"She didn't have the minutes?! That is so Karen." — Someone who literally has never met Karen.

38. She Makes You Feel Safe

Everything is just better around her. It's going to be OK.

39. She's A Great Cuddler

You need to be on the same cuddle page.

40. You Learn Things From Her

She's full of interesting, amazing things, and shares her inquisitive mind with you.

41. She Inspires You

Watching the way she lives makes you want to live better.

42. She Makes You Feel Sexy

You deserve to feel like this. And with her, you feel irresistible.

43. She's Knows Herself

Knowing her own mind is hot.

44. She Knows Your Favorite Takeout Order By Heart

...but knowing when you're stressed you'll want Thai red curry with tofu, spring rolls, and summer roll is even hotter.

45. She Shows You How Much She Loves You

No guesswork or threats, she's not scared to make it clear just how enamored she is.

46. Her Advice Builds You Up

When you talk something through you feel genuinely better after.

47. She's Just Easy To Be With

She feels like home.

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