This article is more than 9 years old

This article is more than 9 years old

Labour has asked David Cameron to apologise after he told the shadow Treasury chief secretary, Angela Eagle, to "calm down, dear" at prime minister's questions.

Cameron made his remarks as he faced pressure over hospital waiting times.

The prime minister repeated "calm down" several times until the Speaker, John Bercow, had to interrupt proceedings to quieten things down.

His remarks caused uproar on the Labour front bench, which believes Cameron betrays an arrogance when under pressure.

Labour's official spokesman branded his remarks as "sexist, insulting and patronising". The party called on Cameron to apologise, saying his comments had been, at the least, not prime ministerial and were arrogant.

But Eagle said she had been "patronised by better people than the prime minister", adding that Cameron should instead be apologising for the economy, which had "effectively flatlined for six months".

She told BBC News: "I don't think any modern man would have expressed himself in that way.

"The prime minister is responsible for what he says in the Commons. I think if there is an apology to make it should be for the dreadful growth figures we have seen today, which demonstrated that the economy has effectively flatlined for six months."

She said it was up to Cameron "as to whether he wants to annoy 51% of the population".

Labour's Caroline Flint accused Cameron of using the word "dear" to "put women down", and said she had been on the receiving end of the same tactic from the communities secretary, Eric Pickles, in the chamber last December, when he told her to "just get behind the programme then, dear".

Labour's deputy leader, Harriet Harman, said: "David Cameron's contemptuous response to Angela Eagle MP at prime minister's questions today shows his patronising and outdated attitude to women.

"Women in Britain in the 21st century do not expect to be told to 'calm down, dear' by their prime minister."

A No 10 spokesman said Cameron's remarks had been intended to be light-hearted and were a reference to a Michael Winner advertisement, selling insurance.

Eagle heckled as Cameron attempted to read a quote from the former Labour MP Howard Stoate backing the government's NHS reforms.

He claimed Stoate had been defeated at the last election by a Conservative candidate when – as Eagle was pointing out – Stoate had in fact stood down.

Cameron told the Wallasey MP: "Calm down, dear, calm down. Calm down and listen to the doctor."

As the Labour benches erupted, the shadow chancellor, Ed Balls, angrily pointed to Eagle and to his wife, Yvette Cooper, apparently demanding to know to whom the PM had been referring. The Labour leader, Ed Miliband, appeared to call for an apology.

But Cameron told them: "I said calm down, calm down, dear. I'll say it to you if you like ... I'm not going to apologise. You do need to calm down."

The Speaker stepped in to quieten the Labour benches, telling MPs: "There's far too much noise in this chamber, which makes a very bad impression on the public as a whole."

But the Labour MP John Woodcock revived the row later, telling MPs that the prime minister was "losing his rag because he is losing the argument".

Danny Alexander, the Liberal Democrat Treasury chief secretary, half apologised on behalf of the prime minister, saying: "Obviously, if something has caused offence, obviously that was not right. I hope it has not caused offence, because it was a joke. He was clearly making a joke from where I was sitting."

He told BBC Radio 4's World at One: "I thought he was clearly referring to Ed [Balls] because Ed is someone who likes to chunter from the frontbench. He is the shadow chunterer"

Balls said if he had made such a remark at home, his wife "would have clocked" him one.

Meanwhile, the PM's comment was a hot topic for debate on the parenting website Mumsnet, where contributors were split between those seeing it as patronising and those who regarded it as acceptable banter.

One, MrsBaldwin, wrote: "In my view, David Cameron just knocked some gloss off his 'I'm a modern Tory' spin. Is that what he says to SamCam at home?"

Another, squeakytoy, asked: "Why is it appalling? I would say it to my female and male friends if they were getting hysterical or shouty. It is nothing to do with gender."