We should ensure that our teenagers are working with the facts about the potential dangers of vaping, having unprotected sex, using drugs and so on. But we should not assume that simply dropping knowledge on a teenager, especially as a way to get a conversation rolling, will get the job done.

Get Their Perspective

Instead of leading with facts, consider starting with genuine curiosity. Setting judgment to the side, ask, “What’s your take on e-cigarettes?” or “Do you know kids who are vaping?” or something along those lines.

Finding out what adolescents already know and think about vaping, or any other hazardous behavior, does two things at once. First, it shapes how the rest of the exchange might go. If your teenager wrinkles her nose and says, “I tried it and thought it was weird,” you’re having one conversation; if she responds slyly, “Lots of kids are doing it — I don’t see why it’s a big deal,” you’re having another.

Second, asking teenagers what they know about any topic increases the odds that they’ll want to hear what we know about that topic, too. To get our teenagers to take our concerns about vaping — or anything else — seriously, we should start by recognizing that they may have already drawn upon firsthand observation or personal experience to arrive at their own conclusions.

Ask Why Before Suggesting Why Not

Adolescents have their reasons for vaping. Some do it for the thrill of defying authority, often in view of their peers. Compact vaporizers like Juuls, which look like flash drives, allow teenagers to easily conceal their e-cigarettes and take quick, discreet hits at home, in school hallways and even in class. And some teenagers may enjoy the stimulant quality of nicotine while trusting that they are swimming in the risk-taking shallows by forgoing harder drugs. Adolescents, by their nature, often seek ways to push the limits set by adults; vaping happens to offer a convenient vehicle for doing so.