From 1950 to 1968, there was a comic called The Adventures of Bob Hope. And for 109 issues, every single adventure started the same way: Bob Hope runs up to a strange woman and molests her. In the 50s, there was no pepper spray in the consumer market. Bob Hope was legally allowed to lick a woman more than 15 feet from her husband, and her response was only, "No time for rape, sir! I need to find a boat captain! Or a bull fighter! Or the world's greatest expensive cake carrier!" Then, of course, Bob Hope would claim to be those things to trick her into sex. I own many truly insane things and this comic series ranks among the insanest of them.

If this comic was released today it would be called

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Sexual Assault and Cake Dropping and a prison warden would be locking his facility down, demanding to know who made it. That's why I've rewritten The Adventures of Bob Hope for a modern audience.

Oh, and out of respect for the comedy legend, all of Bob Hope's original dialog will be unaltered.







