It’s not uncommon to hear fans say that Beast Wars was the series that “saved” the Transformers brand during the dark ages of the ’90s. The brand was on life support following Hasbro’s rebranding attempt with “Generation 2,” so they took a chance and took the line in a dramatic new direction with the Maximals and the Predacons duking it out on what may or may not have been a primitive planet Earth. The gamble paid off because Beast Wars proved to be enormously popular, and, thankfully, the Transformers line would continue on as one of the most successful toy lines of the last 30 years. Despite its important role in Transformers history, not to mention its close ties to the G1 continuity, Beast Wars hasn’t gotten much attention from Hasbro, Takara, or any of the third-party teams in recent years. There’ve been a few bones tossed to fans, like a great new Henkei Dinobot and an awful Universe Cheetor, and an upcoming Megatron that’s a Fall of Cybertron Grimlock repaint, but that’s been it as far as new figures go, really.

One of the reasons for this is many of the original Beast Wars figures were just plain… good. They had great articulation that still holds up in many cases, and they looked just like their on-screen counterparts, so maybe redos and/or updates really aren’t necessary for most of them. For MOST of them, that is. Even though many were excellent, there are a handful that are painful to look at to this day that could definitely benefit from an update by Hasbro or… anyone, really. With that in mind, let’s take a look at five figures that are positively screaming for an update that will do the characters justice, and I’m betting #1 will come as no surprise whatsoever to any Beast Wars fan.

#5. Cheetor

Almost every version of Cheetor rendered in plastic has been horrible. Season 1 Cheetor is not an attractive figure, and it’s this version of the character Hasbro attempted to update with the Universe figure in ’08. While that figure’s beast mode looked nice, the ‘bot mode was one of the worst we’ve ever seen. Cheetor’s Season 2 Transmetal figure would prove to be a decent and popular figure, but it’s the season 1 Cheetor that’s so near and dear to fans’ hearts, so we really need a good season 1 Cheetor. Season 3 is no thing of beauty either, but let’s start with his most iconic season 1 look.

#4. Tigatron

Tigatron shared Cheetor’s season 1 mold, so the figure also shares all of Cheetor’s shortcomings. An updated figure could be used for both characters if Hasbro wanted to get as much use out of the mold as they could. In the series, Tigatron was eventually fused with Airazor and became Tigerhawk, who did receive a solid rendering in plastic, but we still need a Tigatron that isn’t groan-inducing. Tigatron was one of the coolest characters on the show, so he NEEDS to be done right at some point. We have a good stand-alone Airazor, so a great Tigatron would complete the pair nicely.

#3. Optimal Optimus

Optimal Optimus was no doubt a fantastic figure for his time. He’s huge, he had four modes, he’s chromed-out, he has lots of missiles, and his play value was definitely through the roof back when he was released. He just hasn’t aged all that gracefully. Now he’s big and cumbersome in an awkward way, and he just needs some streamlining, really. Given what we’ve seen of companies like Mastermind Creations and Fans Toys with their ability to design and produce awesome oversized figures, it seems that Optimal Optimus is a a character they could have a lot of fun with, and Beast Wars fans would love it. Optimus Primal’s season 1 and Transmetal figures are both darn-near perfect, so this is the only one of the three that’s missing the mark at all, so an update would make that discrepancy right.

#2. Blackarachnia

Like Cheetor, Blackarachnia’s Transmetal figure is the strongest representation of the character in plastic, but for many fans, it’s her season 1 look that is the most fondly remembered. Her season 1 Predacon figure is simply a repaint of Tarantulas, and it’s quite possibly the least feminine-looking figure ever made. Blackarachnia was depicted as being very feminine in appearance, while Tarantulas… wasn’t. So it’s something of a crime that we don’t have a figure that properly reflects her actual look on the show. We did see a Transformers Animated version of the character that was definitely “female” in form, and many have integrated that figure into their Beast Wars displays, but it does miss the mark being that it’s in the Animated style. And Perfect Effect has a figure coming that looks very close to an ideal Blackarachnia, but it’s a repaint/retool of an Arcee figure and turns into a motorcycle with a spider-like attachment. Close, but not perfect. We need a true Beast Wars season 1 Blackarachnia that transforms into a spider.

And number 1 should come as no surprise…

#1. Rhinox

Oh, the pain. Oh, the humanity. Rhinox… poor Rhinox. I don’t even know where to start because this figure misses the mark in almost every possible way. Just about the only thing done right here is his color scheme, and even that has some room for improvement. While his fellow Maximals received figures that were fairly close, in some cases very close, to their on-screen models, Rhinox here missed the target by the widest margin. He was the Maximal’s resident strong guy, the big ‘bot with the heart of gold — kind of like Bulkhead in the past two Transformers TV shows. Bulkhead, though, has had several figures based on him, two of which were downright excellent, but for his predecessor Rhinox, all we have is this sad mess of a figure pictured above. If we were to only get one more updated Beast Wars character in figure form ever, please, in the names of Primus, Unicron, and Ultra Magnus, please let it be Rhinox.

He should look something like this:

… but with, you know, articulation and the ability to transform and stuff. Given what we’ve seen from the multitude of third-party teams these days, I know someone has the ability to make this happen. There isn’t a Beast Wars fan alive who wouldn’t want this.

There were several other figures that almost made the list, but this set of five seemed to be the most glaringly in need of updates. What do you think? Which figures would be in your top five?

canonball Canonball enjoys haunted houses, drinking fake egg nog, checking books out from the library and not reading them, and taking part in various types of online nerdery, like contributing to The Fwoosh and The Short Box. See author's posts

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