Yes, it is always sad when a marriage ends. It is even sadder when children are involved. Yet what makes it worse, a million times worse, is when a couple ends up fighting though the divorce courts — over money.

Whatever the circumstances, it is never going to end well.

We all know the only people who benefit are the lawyers. Yet this does not stop thousands of couples throwing themselves on the litigation pyre every day of the week, only to feel the burn for years afterwards.

This week, in a surprising gender reversal, it is a house husband — who was supported by his millionaire wife — who is demanding more money.

Rupert Nightingale is challenging an 'unfair' divorce settlement after the ending of his seven year marriage to wife, Kirsty Turner

Rupert Nightingale, 42, is challenging an ‘unfair’ divorce settlement that requires him to get a full-time job. Poor thing!

You can see how it started out so well. During their seven-year marriage, wife Kirsten Turner used her whopping £420,000-a-year salary as a partner at an accountancy firm to act as the family breadwinner.

Her husband ‘earned little’ while pursuing his artistic ambitions in the ‘niche’ world of fine art photography and acting, while looking after their daughter and home.

It was a perfect scenario. Until it all went wrong.

Now he feels that the original settlement, providing him with a £300,000 lump sum plus £50,000 a year, did not reflect the ‘standard of living enjoyed during the marriage’.

Rupert, can I say something? The marriage is over — and some of the advantages that came with it have gone.

It is always a mystery to me why ex-wives — and husbands! — feel entitled to be provided with the grand lifestyle they once enjoyed and live high on the hog for ever more. All of it funded by their former spouse. Why?

Yet Rupert feels it is unfair that the maintenance was calculated on his getting a proper job — perish the thought — and side-lining his artistic photographic endeavours.

Well, why not? Kirsten had clearly been slaving away at a high-powered job for years while he has been tiddling about taking pictures of sunsets. He never made much money from art photography — who does? — which seems less of a proper job and more of a lifestyle choice.

Don’t do it Rupert Nightingale! Don’t try to get your maintenance increased to £85,000 a year from your high-flying former wife.

It’s not that you are not entitled to it — indeed, the strict letter of the law might argue that you are. However, you are young enough and smart enough to find more lucrative employment, buy a new house with your pay-off and get your life back on track — independently.

Mr Nightingale is unhappy that his payout will be partially funded by the sale of the £1million former matrimonial home in Wimbledon, where he currently lives

Surely that is far preferable to staying trapped in the comforting amber of a past you can no longer afford?

You may get the money, but you will live in the shadow of the life and the increasingly aggrieved wife from whom you are divorced.

Part of the argument in this case is that his gender is being held against him. With more women assuming the role of breadwinner and more men staying at home to look after the children, cases like these are going to crop up more and more.

If women have the right to maintenance from their ex-husbands then men have the same right, too.

However, that does not mean it’s a healthy situation for either party. Especially, as in this instance, with couples who are young, with short marriages behind them and the rest of their lives ahead of them.

All of which makes me think, isn’t it time the archaic divorce laws were changed? They are based on the historic presumption that a woman and/or a mother could not support herself once the marriage had ended.

Sometimes, of course, this is true. Yet increasingly it is far from the case. Today, both men and women are able to earn their own living.

Rupert is the kind of injured party who says he provided stability at home and gave up his career prospects to look after his wife and child.

But surely he could have worked part-time and kept his photography options open elsewhere? It all sounds rather indulgent from someone with a high opinion of his own talents.

Move on, Rupert. Your ex-wife has.

While we are on the subject, why is 25-year-old Kamran Khan allowed to claim Jobseeker’s Allowance because a 9 to 5 job would interfere with his four hours a day at the gym? If he is so devoted to a life of fitness — at our expense — why not become a gym instructor? Then he can stay there all blooming day. Or go before or after work, like millions of others suckers. What a cheek!

Bring chocs to prove your innocence

In the long shadow that was cast by the Ched Evans case, the CPS is planning a crackdown on the rape laws. Men will have to prove that a woman said yes and that consent was given freely.

The CPS also wants to tighten the law against offenders who target those incapacitated through drink or drugs, or where the alleged rapist holds a position of power over the victim. In addition, they want to stop men from tweeting pictures of the innocent frolics that took place at the beginning of a date in a bid to undermine accusations of date rape made later.

What next? The CPS demanding a mandatory box of chocolates and a bunch of red roses as part of a no-hard-feelings, post- coital covenant? The aims might be laudable, but how can any of this work in the real world? Will men have to get forms of consent signed in triplicate before the deed takes place? A taped confession at the very least?

The very nature of date rape and having sex with a virtual stranger while intoxicated might need some kind of legal clarification if a complaint is made, but is this the way forward? The mind boggles at the potential complications.

Imagine the scenarios. You are a man who has sex with a woman and she later says that you raped her. You show your Instagram pictures of the pair of you kissing in a club on the night, but those photos now possibly suggest that you were planning to rape her all along.

If neither of you can remember what happened, you are the rapist and that is the end of you. Position of power? How is that to be determined and by whom?

The Ched Evans rape case has attracted much attention but little understanding. Those who have studied the facts of the case know it is much more complicated than a drunken date that went awry.

That’s why I feel it’s wrong for the CPS to rush in with sheaves of urgent proposals that make little sense. Hard cases make bad law.

The one thing that would help, however, is the issue of anonymity. The current situation — where the accused is named but the accuser is not — is simply not fair. Either both parties are named or neither party is, with the accused being identified only if he is found guilty.

Elton John was seen trying on new glasses in LA

Elton John was seen trying on new spectacles in LA. The singer once boasted he had a quarter of a million pairs. Vain spectacle wearers — like me! — can empathise with the eternal, doomed search for the one magical pair of glasses that make you look beautiful. Like the unicorn, they don’t exist — but Elton refuses to believe this.

I hope he’s passed his specs hoard on to a charity. Countless poor souls around the world would be grateful for just one pair.

Some jobs are better suited to men (file picture)

Women don't want to be builders, Esther

Esther McVey’s big plan this week? To get more women into the construction industry.

Only 272,000 women work in construction in the UK, compared with two million men.

Esther, this may come as a shock, but there is a good reason for this.

Some jobs are just better suited to men — and it is not sexist to say so.

Labouring on a building site is dirty, heavy and dangerous work.

Yes, some women may yearn to be a hod carrier or to drive a crane.

Yet a far greater number would rather be tucked indoors, teaching eight-year-olds how to do sums and make rabbits out of cotton wool.

Looked at another way, there is a huge gender imbalance in the number of men entering teaching, social work and nursing.

I like Esther, but this is just PC nonsense.

The more difficult task would be to try to promote more jobs for British workers on British building sites. Don’t hold your breath.

Scots tea? aye the brew ...

Scottish-grown tea is the best in the world and Irn Bru cures ebola? Apparently true!

Congratulations to the Wee Tea company, who triumphed at the Salon de The awards in Paris this week.

Their company name might be unfortunate, but their Dalreoch blend smoked white tea beat all-comers to be named the best tea in the world. Och aye, the brew!

The tea leaves are grown and harvested in Perthshire, and even the Queen thinks it is delicious. The tea, which costs £35 for 15g, is already served at state dinners in Kensington Palace and Balmoral Castle.

In the past week, ebola nurse Pauline Cafferkey claimed that Irn Bru had been a factor in her recovery. All in all a good time for Scottish liquids. Cheers!

Gwyneth spills steamy secret

She has previously endorsed Sex Bark (don’t ask), the Paprika Cleanse and having a Monday morning colonic to kick off the week. And now? Trust Gwyneth Paltrow to come up with a new thing that no one even knew was a thing.

Miss Paltrow has just announced that she has her ladyparts steam-cleaned at a holistic spa in Santa Monica — where else? She recommends the Mugworth V-Steam — I’m imagining a sort of percolating whoopee cushion — and explains the treatment on her Goop website. ‘You sit on a mini-throne, and a combination of infra-red and mugwort steam-cleanses your uterus, et al.’

It costs £33 for the 30-minute treatment, which sounds like Marilyn Monroe standing over the subway grate in The Seven-Year Itch, only more private. ‘If you are in LA, you have to do it,’ urges Gwyneth.

Yikes. Just when you think you’ve got grooming sorted, she raises the bar again.

Gwyneth Paltrow has announced that she gets her lady parts steam cleaned at holistic spa in Santa Monica

A vision in grey: 50 Shades star Dakota Johnson

50 shades of knickers in a twist

Baby, it’s cold outside. It’s the kind of weather for winceyette and big pants, or even — whisper it — a cosy combo of both. However, with the launch of the film Fifty Shades Of Grey, the pressure is on to perve.

Must we? Ladies, I am afraid we must. Fifty Shades author E.L. James has designed a six-piece lingerie range inspired by her whip-cracking books. Made by Bluebella, the garments look as complicated as string theory. The chiffon body is ‘erotic and multi-functional, with . . . harness-inspired strapping’. The ‘cage’ bra keeps those bad boys behind bars, while the ‘triangle bra’ is perfect for those with samosa-shaped breasts.

Meanwhile, Dakota Johnson, who plays Fifty Shades heroine Anastasia Steele, has been disloyally promoting the film in the kind of outfits that suggest a bad case of NNN — No Nicks Needed.

Yet E.L. James is hoping that her kinky scanties will capture the essence of Anastasia’s ‘after-dark relationship’ with lover Christian Grey.

I wonder. Her books are most popular with women in their 50s. And rare is the old bird who can look good trussed up like a turkey in mourning.