Chapter Text

“They took Steven. They took him to Homeworld."

The world seemed to slow and dread grabbed the breath from Connie’s lungs. The gravity of the statement weighed her down to her bed.

"We...we’re not sure exactly what Blue Diamond wants to do with him,” Pearl whispered, her voice shaking. “I have a few theories. But she'll keep him alive as long as she thinks he's a only human. I'm...I’m pretty sure of that.”

Silence was all that responded to Pearl.

"It's going to be okay, Connie," Pearl's voice rang hollow on the other end of her phone. "We'll...we're going to get him back." Pearl's voice sounded unsure, as if she was trying to convince herself.

Connie’s eyes felt drawn toward a picture she kept on her bedside table. Her and Steven, arm in arm at his last birthday party, grinning brightly towards the camera.

A surge of motivation gave Connie her voice back as she found something she could set her mind to. Something to push back all the other feelings the threatened to consume her.

"We will. I'll be there shortly. Just wait for me," Connie said resolutely, already getting up and setting her mind to gathering belongings for an intergalactic space voyage.

"No!" Pearl shouted with sudden force that caught Connie off guard. "No," Pearl said again after a moment, gentler. "That's not a good idea."

Connie stopped her packing and stood up tall. Hundreds of conversations she had with her own mother flashed through her mind. She hadn't expected to have to do this with Pearl, but she was determined not to lose this time. Steven’s life was at stake here.

"Why not?" Connie asked, stomping her foot. "Isn't this what you trained me for? Isn't this what I have been working so hard to do? I'm ready for this!"

"It's..." Pearl's voice was unsure facing the logic of her student. "This isn't something we trained for. None of us ever expected anything like this, Connie. I don’t think you’re ready for this kind of mission. Besides, we need someone to look after earth - "

"He's everything to me," Connie interjected as tears gathered at the edge of her eyes. She refused to be denied. "You know that. Do you really think I can just sit here while everyone else risks their lives for him? I have a right to be there."

At her outburst, the other line on her phone was quiet. Faintly, she could hear muffled voices in the background, but could not make out what they were saying.

"All right," Pearl said suddenly, but her tone gave away reluctance. "Get yourself prepared. Quickly. We'll send....we'll be there to pick you up shortly. Be ready."

"Thank you, Pearl," Connie said, before hanging up to set herself to the task.

She paused to consider what exactly it was she would bring with her. Rose's sword, kept from her last training session, lay next to her bed at the ready. But beyond that, she would need to travel light.

He's everything to me. Of course I should go.

Connie began to rummage through her belongings, scattered along the floor of her bedroom haphazardly. She started a mental checklist of things she could bring and would need. A change of clothes, probably a sweater for warmth in the cold vacuum of space. Protein bars, for a quick and easy source of fuel. A book - she had to have something relevant in her collection. Maybe -

He's probably in pain. Who knows what they're doing to him. Connie chose not to address the baseless thought. She did not have time to handle that now. She had a boy to rescue.

What if my last words to him will be, 'I got to return it to the library?' What if I never get to talk to him again?

“What if I can’t do this?” Connie whispered aloud, the panic running rampant in her mind. It was frustrating.

Connie took in a deep breath and let out a shaky exhale. She could recognize her inner turmoil. She knew she should try to fully confront it, but time was of the essence. She didn't have time to weep. She wasn't sure she could stop if she did.

Instead of trying to remember Garnet's mindful training, she tried to focus on a lesson Pearl had taught her once. On the battlefield, the ally next to you could be lost at any moment. It had happened to Pearl many times before — but you couldn't stop. You had to ignore it, and keep going. You couldn't stop fighting until the battle was won —only then could you remember and bury the fallen. It was the only way to keep yourself, and the people you cared about, alive.

Maybe she should try to call Pearl again, see what advice she could give her. She dashed the thought from her mind as quickly as it came — she could not afford to seem desperate to her master.

But what if you are, what if you can’t -

Connie tried to find the steel within herself. The battle had begun the second Homeworld had taken Steven. All there was left to do was to use her wits and get through any enemy between her and her liege. Then return him safely home.

She didn’t realize she was shaking. Fortunately for her, a knock on the door startled her out of her reverie.

"Connie? Is everything alright?" Her mother's concerned words pierced Connie's heart from the other side of her bedroom door and made her gasp. "I heard you shouting earlier. I just wanted to make sure everything's okay."

Two options immediately occurred to Connie. She could open herself up to her mother and break down in her mother's welcoming embrace. A significant part of her desperately wanted to do that. But she knew to do so would make getting out of her home without a confrontation significantly less likely. She may have won her argument with Pearl, but her own mother was a different beast entirely when it came to overbearing maternal instincts.

So, Connie decided to go with the second option, one she promised she would stop doing to her mother. She lied.

"Everything's okay mom," Connie said, struggling to sound confident. "I just...got into a really heated discussion with Steven over the phone about the newest book in the Ashworth Chronicles. It's really good!"

There was a moment of agonizing silence. Connie braced herself for the worst.

"Okay, Connie," Priyanka said. "If you say so. Just know you can talk to me about anything."

"I know, Mom. Thank you.”

Connie held her breath until she heard her mother's footsteps hit the staircase and reach the family living room. She let out a sigh of relief. That was one crisis averted.

“I’m being ridiculous,” Connie mumbled to herself. “I can get through this.”

She busied her hands with packing, trying to move as quickly as possible. But her hands were sweaty and she constantly found herself dropping something as she tried to gather her supplies into a small pile on her bed.

Meanwhile, Connie’s mind moved a mile a minute as she tried to come up with an excuse to get by her mother quickly. She thought about just running straight by her mom and damning the consequences, but knew that would not be fair. But she did not have the time for some elaborate ruse like she used to do with Steven. She struggled to come up with something as her head started to pound and her breath became short.

She would just say that Steven had mentioned a small mission at the end of the imaginary phone call. Quick, easy, no need for description — there would be no problems. Her mother would kill her after she discovered Connie left for space, but that was not something she was afraid of now. She could live with that.

If you make it out of this alive.

"No. I'll be fine," Connie whispered, admonishing her own mind. Her anxieties would have to wait until she returned to Earth.

After a few desperate minutes of packing, Connie saw herself as suitably ready. She had her large green coat for the fall evening's chill, a backpack loaded with supplies and Rose's sword strapped securely to her back. She felt like she was probably missing something, but decided against spending more time packing. She just wanted to get her feet moving and be on her way out.

Connie stepped out of her room and faced her home’s staircase. Had they always been that big? She could hear the quiet noise of the television downstairs playing a nature documentary. Her mother loved to watch boring stuff like this with her dad. Fortunately for Connie, her father was working through the night — a single stroke of luck that would make escaping easier. She sighed, mentally preparing herself, and walked quickly down the steps.

Connie stepped into the living room and saw the back of her mother's head. Priyanka was a world away from her. She stood still for a few seconds, saying nothing. She felt petrified.

How can I just do this to my mother?

Connie shook her head. There was no time.

"I have to go on a mission, Mom," Connie said. Somehow, she felt like she was 11 again. "Something came up tonight. I should be back in the morning."

Her mother slowly reached for the remote and turned off the television. Connie gulped. The tense silence was frightening.

Priyanka turned around to face her. Her mother’s face was etched with concern as she approached Connie, who was rooted in place in the front foyer of their home. Priyanka kneeled down and put a hand on her daughter's shoulder.

"What's really wrong, Connie? Are you sure there's nothing else you want to tell me?" She had seen — and heard — right through Connie's bluff. "Did something happen to the gems? To Steven?"

Connie tried to keep a brave face on. She tried to summon the words to again reassure her mother that everything was fine. She tried to stop the small tremors in her tiny frame and prevent tears from forming.

She failed miserably.

Taking Connie’s look as an answer, Priyanka embraced her daughter. Connie couldn't hold back anymore, and her tears and sobs flowed freely. The terror and misery she felt consumed her as her mother rubbed soothing circles on her back.

Steven's been taken away from me.

He's gone.

What if I can't get him back?

What if I lose someone else?

How can I do this?

"Shh, shh, I'm here, I'm here," her mother's soft words lulled her as she rode the emotional torrent.

Connie didn’t know how long she cried in her mother’s arms. The world felt like it had stopped turning.



Connie stared down into large mug of hot chocolate in her hands — a rare treat in the Maheswaran household. She worked to compose herself as her mother was busy making a cup of coffee. A heart-to-heart talk would surely follow, something Connie dreaded. She had only mumbled incoherence after spending endless minutes breaking down, to try to preserve a cover story, but knew there would be no more dodging around it. Priyanka had gained a lot of intuition about her daughter after letting her start pursuing a life with the crystal gems.

Of course, having her mother be involved with the new side of her life had its advantages. Since the incident at the hospital, the strictness of Connie's mother had largely melted away into a doting concern. Priyanka struggled to negotiate caring for her daughter’s well-being with letting Connie be free to carve a niche in the world. There were pitfalls and arguments involved in that. But Priyanka was trying her best and letting her daughter be who she wanted, and that meant the world to Connie.

But Connie knew the fragile balance of their relationship would be tested. Her mother had pierced through her emotional armour and now beginning her mission would be all the more difficult. She had failed to keep composed, just like she had failed Stev -

Connie perished the thought.

Her mother sat across the small kitchen table while nursing her own cup of coffee. She met Connie's eyes, but Connie looked away.

"Connie, please tell me what's really wrong," Priyanka said firmly. Connie could feel her mother's soft gaze pierce her.

Connie sighed and tried to summon up the courage to make it through this conversation quickly. She had faced down mutants, monsters, and trained warriors trying to kill her. She could face her own mother.

Somehow, her own mother seemed more terrifying.

"Steven got taken by a diamond," Connie said, darting her eyes up. "From gem Homeworld. They've taken him back to their planet."

Her mother gasped, a hand rising to her mouth.

"Oh...." her mother blurted, clearly unsure of herself. Connie wondered what bad scenarios her mother had really considered.

"I'm so, so sorry," Priyanka said, reaching out across the table grab Connie's hand gently. "I - he was such a sweet boy. I know what he meant to you. What he meant to everyone."

"He is sweet," Connie corrected quietly, gently grasping her mother's hand. Connie looked up at Priyanka and wasn't sure if her mother had realized the mistake, so she elaborated. "He's not dead. We can still save him."

"Of course Connie, I didn't mean to-" Priyanka stopped herself. "I'm sorry. That was thoughtless."

"It's okay," Connie replied, letting go of her mother's hands and sitting back into her chair. "No big deal."

"But I know it is. He's...Steven is a very special boy," Priyanka said, fumbling through her search for the right words. "There's still hope then, though. We can still wait and hope the crystal gems can save him, right?"

Connie let the words hang in the air without answer. Priyanka’s face gradually grew more unsure. Connie breathed deeply and closed her eyes for a moment. There was no more use trying to skirt around the matter.

"I'm not going to be waiting," Connie said. "I can still save him. That's my mission. That's what I have to do."

Connie waited to gauge her mother's reaction. Her mother’s mouth formed into a hard-line. She could see the internal debate probably going through Priyanka’s mind as she considered what Connie meant.

"Connie...I don't know if this is something you should do," Priyanka said slowly. Connie could see her mother wanted to avoid the fight neither of them wanted. "It's — you aren't really thinking of...going out into space, are you?

"I am," Connie said. She put her hot chocolate on the table and stood up, bracing herself.

"Connie, you know I can't let you do this." The denial had come. "This is far beyond anything we had agreed to when this all started..."

"Mother, I know you're worried about me," Connie said, holding up her hands as she searched for a middle ground between them. "I'm...I'm scared too, okay? But this isn't your choice to make for me. I have to do this. You have to trust me." Connie wasn't sure where she was finding this fortitude, but she tried to hold onto it.

For her part, her mother seemed to be rising to the occasion. A face previously filled with only concern was growing more and more stony. Priyanka’s forehead creased as a suddenly defiant daughter confronted her.

"I trust you, Connie," Priyanka said. "You know I do. We've been through this. But this isn't about trust —this is about your safety."

Connie refused to take her mother's reasoning.

"No it isn’t!" Connie interjected, her hands flailing wildly before settling into hard fists. "This is the same conversation we've always had. I want to do something that matters to me, and you say no, because you don't trust me!"

"Connie, we are not talking about eating junk food, watching bad movies or even sword training," Priyanka’s voice raised with her daughters, but she sat fixed atop her chair, arms crossed. "Even the missions with the gems — those terrify me, but I let you do it because I could see how much it meant to you. Because I decided I needed to trust the wonderful person I see before me."

Priyanka paused and looked deeply into Connie's eyes. Connie, for her part, tried to appear unmoved.

"But this is more than I think you can take on! From what you've told me, Homeworld is ruthless, and beyond what I think you could handle. And if they took Steven back through space, that is definitely beyond what you can handle. The gems may be able to do it. But you're human — it takes years of training for one of us to go out to space."

"I...the gems have technology to make it easier," Connie said, but her voice became weak under the unrelenting logic of her mother. She didn't actually know if the crystal gems had something to get her to space safely. But she trusted them to find a way.

"Connie, my staff at the hospital trusts me," Priyanka said, voice gaining confidence as her daughter wavered. "They trust me to operate when patients lives are at stake. But if I tried to start doing dentistry there, they would stop me. Because they know what I'm capable of — and they know I can't do dentistry. They'd stop me because they care about me."

"That's not the same thing!" Connie shouted, jumping slightly, trying to think through her mother's logic on the fly. "It's not the same thing because I know I can actually do this!"

"How could you possibly know that?" her mother said. "You've never done anything like this before!"

"BECAUSE THERE'S NO POINT IF I CAN'T!" The loudness of the voice stunned her mother into silence. Connie took a couple of breaths, trying to quell the rising anger. "The Connie you see before you," Connie put her hand on her chest for emphasis. "Doesn't exist without Steven. The Connie you see before you can't exist without him."

"But -"

"I don't want to go back to what I was," Connie interjected, shaking with rage. "I was always so scared to do anything I wanted. I was so scared of everyone else — of what they might think of me, of what they might do to me. I was scared because of you."

"I — Connie, you know that -"

"I'm scared, Mom. I'm scared more than I've ever been in my entire life right now. But I'm not going to let fear control me anymore. Steven showed me that I can be more than that. I'm not going to let fear stop me from doing what I want to."

"Connie, please." Priyanka finally stood up as tears streamed down her mother's face.

The look on her mom’s face was agonizing. But Connie was not going to let anything stop her.

"And I want to save Steven Universe. I love him. He's the world to me," Connie admitted. "And nothing — not you, not Homeworld, not anyone else — is going to stop me."

As Connie stared straight into her mother's face, locking eyes, she continued to shake with feeling. She wasn't sure where all of this was coming from, but she was going to use it. She had even proclaimed love — an admission she had largely skirted around outside of her dreams.

But rather than instantly accepting Connie’s heartfelt speech, her closed her eyes and pinched her temple.

"Connie," her mother said. Her voice was icy. "I understand how you feel. But I'm not going to approve of this. The last thing I..the last thing Steven would-"

"Don't you dare," Connie hissed an interruption. "Don't you even think of -"

The doorbell rang and stopped her. Connie looked out towards the front door and cursed under breath. If the gems had come, her time was up.

"I'm going to tell them you're not going," Priyanka said in her old, authoritative voice, sensing who was likely at the door. She walked over to answer it and Connie followed her. "We can talk more after, but that's the bottom line."

"This isn't over," Connie tried to interject. "You can't-"

Her mother opened the door and Connie's shock stopped her mid sentence.

On the doorstep stood Sapphire and a disheveled Mr. Universe. Seeing Sapphire unfused with Ruby would be cause enough for alarm, but it was the elder Universe that drew her focus.

Greg Universe looked dreadful. His eyes were bloodshot, his hair a nest of twigs and leaves, his posture slouching and his pants torn in several places. Connie had never seen someone look so defeated. The only part of him that looked somewhat presentable was the bright sweater he wore with cherries — the same he had worn the last time he came to the household. He probably had not worn it since then, Connie figured.

Still, Mr. Universe tried to seem upbeat, giving both the Maheswaran women a gentle smile. Unfortunately, it came off as more of a grimace.

"Hello Priyanka," Greg said. There warmth to his voice that did not match his appearance. Connie could tell he was straining to keep composed. "Do you think I could talk with Connie for a little bit?"

Priyanka turned her head over to Connie, who stood behind her. Her daughter suddenly bolted upright to glare back. She tried to communicate everything through her fiery gaze.

Connie didn’t know what the future would hold, with Greg’s bizarre appearance or her mission. But nobody was going to drag her back up the stairs until Steven was safely back home.