

Disclaimer: This was a hard post for me to write. Mainly because no one really wants to discuss the drama in their own families.

Growing up my sister and I were never close. My parents had a horrible marriage and when they divorced my sister gravitated towards my father and I towards my mother. I hated him and everything he had done. I couldn’t understand why she didn’t see things the way I did. We lived in the same house and had experienced the same things. Her doing that though made me feel some type of way about her. I knew that we would never be friends.



Through the years she did her own thing and I did mine. We didn’t have any sort of bond, it just wasn’t there. As a matter of fact, I had grown accustomed to being alone. I often considered myself an only child.



We had grown up in the same house, but chosen different paths in life. Anytime we did have any contact with each other we would argue and fight. I know people think it’s normal for siblings to fight. However our fights were anything, but normal. Our relationship was toxic at best, and I had gotten to a point where I just wasn’t dealing with toxic people. PERIOD.



After I had my son, it put a lot into perspective for me. I never wanted my kids to see me fighting with my family. Especially over stuff that we constantly fought over. My oldest son was already having a hard time accepting his little brother. But I knew that this endless cycle I had going with my sister was not something I wanted him to see. It was time for me to stop watering dead plants.



Some people think that you need to fix family relationships. They think because you are family then that means you are supposed to look over certain behaviors. I’m here to tell you that’s not true. being related to people doesn’t give them a pass to disrespect you.



In that spirit I just won’t tolerate certain behaviors. My husband and I don’t fight so I won’t let my kids see me fighting with anyone else. No matter how hard my sister and I try we can’t seem to find common ground and be friends. However everyone isn’t friends. If we weren’t related there would be no way we would hang with each other.



I felt the need to write about this now because I didn’t realize before how much this affects me as a mother and a wife. I try to practice self-care everyday, but I have come to the realization that my sister is the most toxic person in my life. There isn’t anything wrong with putting your mental health first and doing what’s right for your family. What I do know is my sister and I will never be friends, and I’m okay with that.

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