Ben Carson: brain surgeon, soft spoken, good-natured, ultra-Christian. And, evidently, super tough guy with the ability to take on armed assailants using only his wits. At least, he could if the opportunity ever came up…

Not unlike a professional wrestler riling up his fans, Carson had this to say about last week’s mass shooting in Oregon (from the LA Times’ article):

“Not only would I probably not cooperate with him, I would not just stand there and let him shoot me,” Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson said on “Fox and Friends.” “I would say, ‘Hey, guys, everybody attack him! He may shoot me but he can’t get us all.'”

First of all, let’s acknowledge the fact that Dr. Carson’s lackadaisical manner of speech is unlikely to inspire his fellow shooting victims to join in his spur of the moment attack plan. Not to mention that most shooters could probably unload a full clip by the time Dr. Ben slowly rises from his seat, clears his throat, and calmly drawls “Hey, guy.” Does anybody believe that Carson could successfully display the sort of bravado he describes in a real life mass shooting situation? It’s completely unrealistic and insultingly simplistic.

Second, aside from being a somewhat tasteless indictment of the actions (or lack thereof) taken by the victims of the shooting, Dr. Ben’s comments wreak of the campaign trail. Carson can rest assured that if his campaign is successful, he will absolutely never be in a situation where he must face an armed assailant without Secret Service intervention. If his campaign is a failure, well, he’ll still probably never have to make good. It’s a classic case of you-can-say-anything-because-you’ll-never-have-to-back-it-up.

In that respect the Good Doctor’s comments are akin to those of the teenage troglodytes who flood internet message boards with comments about how they wouldn’t hook up with Megan Fox because she ruined the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles franchise, which makes her totally not hot you guys. The shooter’s aim is a 2 out of 10, would not be intimidated.