Eyewitness accounts from this Wednesday’s ESPY awards say that Manziel used a public restroom in the Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles, and then left the facilities without having flushed his own waste.

After having won the award for best male college athlete, Mr. Football reportedly headed to the men’s restroom to relieve himself. Reports say that Manziel entered one of the bathroom stalls in a “flustered” manner and seemed to “leave in a rush” after coming back out of the stall. The small child who proceeded to use the stall after Manziel was surprised to find a frothy mixture of what we can only assume was human feces. This is only the latest in series of faux pas that has made up Manziel’s train-wreck of an off-season. From harmlessly venting on twitter, to leaving his dump in a toilet that was not his own, it is clear Manziel is an athlete of abominable character and he will probably die any second due to his outlandish and reckless behavior. Sure other football players, for example the players at Vanderbilt that got arrested for rape, have committed actual crimes this off season that not many people have heard about, but Manziel left his poop in a toilet, and for this I cannot forgive him. That child had to walk into that stall assuming the toilet he was about to use was safe, only to find the sickening stench of an unflushed dump. The bowel movement in question was so large, the child had to flush the toilet twice just to use it again. Could a good person really put someone through that, much less a little kid? What did he do to you Johnny?

Some ESPY attendees also said that Manziel “farted on that kid with brain cancer a few times… on purpose.” Manziel commented on the event saying, “My number is #2 and sometimes I like to go #2. I am 20 years old. I am going to make mistakes and today is just another one of those days. I overslept and forgot to flush so I panicked and rushed out of there. I didn’t mean for anybody to get hurt, but it wasn’t me, I had nothing to do with it, just ask Peyton Manning.”

Team physicians said that both the volume and consistency of the bowel movement were unusual, but they do not foresee the incident having any effect on Johnny’s performance next season. Johnny Manziel and the aggies kick off their first game of the season against the Rice Owls on August 31st, but until then continue to enjoy made up story lines about Manziel that create drama and controversy used to perpetuate the media’s narrative of college sports like some vacuous celebrity gossip show.