Thursday, May 23, 2013 at 10:11PM

Yup yup, Wednesday morning started with a couple of kids egging my kitchen window. BIG THANKS to Officers JOSH and JEFF with the local PD for scooping those kids up so quickly. They were courteous, efficient, and did not seem to take my foul language too personally. Sorry fellas, I was still all hopped up on rage kittens when you came by.

I've thought about this. I want kids to stop egging our stuff, but I can't catch them every time. Therefore, the best choice is to actively circulate rumors until our teeny little house becomes known as, "The Ol' Murder Bordello," and then the only real trouble we'll get is on Halloween when kids dare each other to run up and touch the front door.

PS: A PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Program your local PD's NonEmergency number into your cell phone.

It's super handy. You can call that line with any ol' thing: eggin', noise complaints, stray dog, bloody mop handle in your trash... (True story.)

Go on, take a minute and knock it out. Then you can pat yourself on the back for being a responsible adult and go back to eating a whole box of Lucky Charms alone while you watch reality shows on YouTube.