One of the most common challenges I see men face is their inability to overcome being too nice. Don’t get me wrong, being nice is great but when it comes at the expense of your own well-being, it becomes a problem.

Today, I am joined by psychologist, Dr. Aziz Gazipura, to talk about the pitfalls of being too nice. We cover the “guilt bubble” and how to get out of it, the costs of being overly nice, learning to speak up and develop healthy boundaries, and how to stop being so nice.

“When we do something from this [unhealthy] place of obligation, we build a toxic sludge of resentment.” Tweet That — Dr. Aziz Gazipura

Show Highlights

What does it mean to be “nice”

How being overly nice is self-sabotaging

What the “guilt bubble” is and how to get out of it

The costs of being too nice

How to liberate yourself

How to establish healthy boundaries

Learning to speak up

Why being selfish is not always a bad thing

How to choose and communicate your rules

Strategies for improving your ability to say “no”

How to care about others without jeopardizing yourself



How to increase your discomfort tolerance

How to “own your shadows”

How to develop more assertiveness

Dr. Aziz Gazipura

In 2011, Dr. Aziz started The Center For Social Confidence, which is dedicated to helping everyone break through their shyness and social anxiety. He has helped thousands of people all over the world increase their confidence. Through confidence coaching, audio and video programs, podcasts, a detailed blog, and intensive weekend workshops, Dr. Aziz lives out his mission: To help every person who is stuck in shyness liberate themselves to pursue the relationship, career, and life they have always dreamed of. Most recently, he wrote a book titled, Not Nice: Stop Pleasing People, Stayin Silent, and Feeling Guilty, which is what he’s here to talk with us about today.

Dr. Aziz is a clinical psychologist and one of the world’s leading experts on social confidence.

“You’re allowed to say “no.” It’s healthy. If there is no choice in your life, you will suffer greatly. You have to be able to choose to say ‘no.'” Tweet That — Dr. Aziz Gazipura

Not Nice









“We’re very vulnerable to even a hint of disapproval.” Tweet That — Dr. Aziz Gazipura

The Iron Council

Just a quick timeout to tell you about something pretty exciting happening this Friday inside our exclusive brotherhood, the Iron Council.

On Friday morning, we’re going to have our expert guest and member of the Echelon Front team, Dave Berke join us for a live Q&A with the members. This is just one of the many benefits with you band with us inside the Iron Council.

In addition to our guest experts, you’ll have access to monthly assignments, challenges, Battle Teams, and the accountability to get from where you are now to where you want to be in your relationships, fitness, career, and life.

If you want to join us on Fridays’ call, get registered quickly at www.orderofman.com/ironcouncil.

“When we really understand that it’s okay to say ‘no’ and that we’re not doing something wrong, then we can actually say ‘no’ more lovingly and a lot more relaxed.” Tweet That — Dr. Aziz Gazipura

Connect with Dr. Aziz Gazipura