In an example of the wisdom inherent in the old saying about how even deeply divided, culturally polarized clocks are right twice a day, a new poll conducted by Quinnipiac University shows that people would like it if Tina Fey replaced Jon Stewart as host of The Daily Show. In related news, polls show that most Americans would rather eat potato chips than fragments of glass, people like sex and dislike being disemboweled, and Chris Pratt should star in basically all movies from here on out.


The poll surveyed 1,286 registered U.S. voters, of whom 19 percent listed Fey as their top choice to replace the outgoing host. Going down the list from there, 16 percent selected Dennis Miller, because apparently 16 percent of respondents still believe it is 1988. The next highest-polling name was John Oliver with eight percent, perhaps since some people don’t realize that Oliver is already doing them one better. Then come Craig Ferguson and Brian Williams with seven percent each, because one of them is a hilarious exaggerator and the other is Craig Ferguson; and finally comes Chelsea Handler with five percent, or roughly the same number of Americans who think Uganda Be Kidding Me is a joke and not the death rattle of Henny Youngman.

Shockingly for a country in which everyone is in total agreement that sexism is largely a thing of the past, there is some gender disparity in the results. While women chose Fey 23-12 percent, men actually chose Miller 21-15 percent. (But going by age rather than gender, dudes and ladies aged 18-34 went 27 percent for Fey.) All of which leads to one inescapable conclusion: Tina Fey definitely gives a fuck what 1,286 voters think she should be doing with her time.