The first meeting Lionel Messi ever had with Pep Guardiola ended on a promise. "With me," the new Barcelona coach said, "you'll score three or four goals a game." Guardiola exaggerated for effect; the ridiculous thing is that he was not that far wrong. Leo Messi scored another hat-trick on Tuesday night. It came just a fortnight after he became the first ever player to score five in a Champions League match, and it was the 18th hat-trick of his career. Eighteen is a record. Another one.

Messi's three took him past César Rodríguez as Barcelona's all-time top scorer. Some question the validity of the record, because Paulino Alcántara – the man they called Romperredes, the net buster – got more. The problem is that Alcántara's goals, scored in competitions like the Catalan Championship between 1912 and 1927, are not classed as official; the solution is that Messi will probably end up breaking his 364-goal tally anyway. He has broken every other record going. He now has 234 official goals for Barcelona. He is 24.

Messi's goalscoring record was good before: he had scored 24 league goals in two injury-hit seasons between 2006 and 2008, averaging close to a goal every other start. But since Guardiola arrived the statistics have been barely believable. They have also been getting better. Thirty-eight in all competitions in 2008-09; 47 in 2009-10; 53 in 2010-11; 54 already this season. And it is not over yet: for Barcelona, there are still at least 13 games to go this season.

"If he carries on like this he will set records that no one will ever break, ever again," Guardiola said. "And he doesn't just score goles, he scores golazos." He doesn't just score goals, he gets assists too: 11, 10, 18 and 13 (with two months left) in the league in each of the last four seasons.

There was a nice symmetry about the goal that took Messi past César's record. Controlling the ball with his first touch, he lobbed gently it over the goalkeeper and into the net: it was impossible not to be reminded of the very first he got for Barcelona against Albacete, at the same end. Recently, Messi has developed a taste for lobs. Of his 234 goals, 184 came with his left foot, 38 with his right, 10 with his head, one with his hand and one with his chest – or his heart, as Barcelona fans prefer it. His 222nd, 224th, and 231st all arrived the same way as the 233rd - with lobs.

Flashy? Not at all, insists Guardiola. "If there is a player who plays with zero adornments, it is Leo," he said, "I've never seen a stepover from him, or a [pointless] flick: he is the ultimate in effectiveness."

There is a simplicity about Messi's brilliance; a relentlessness too. If it feels like he has been talked about a lot recently it is because he has broken long-standing milestones, that oblige you to stop and take a look: last week he became the youngest player ever to reach 150 goals in La Liga. Yet what the consistency of his brilliance actually achieves much of the time is to make the extraordinary routine. Just another wonderful Messi goal: like walking past a thousand-year old ruin in Rome that, picked up and placed in Milton Keynes would have them rushing from miles around, and in the Eternal City hardly even gets noticed.

Besides, there is another problem. "I am sorry for those who have designs on the throne, but Messi is absolutely the best," Guardiola said. The Barcelona coach even likened him to Michael Jordan – a player capable of dominating his sport with ease, defining an entire era. Which is fine. But if he is so good, how can you express that? The superlatives ran out ages ago. On these pages, swearing has been tried. Or perhaps a symbol, something to signify that we have gone beyond words now.

"Don't write about him, don't try to describe him," Guardiola quite rightly said, "watch him."

Watch him and watch those numbers and their inexorable rise. The statistics are almost surreal, utterly stupid. They belong to a different era. He is on course to be the Champions League's top scorer for a fourth consecutive season. Last year he equalled the competition's best ever tally; he needs one to surpass it this year. He has already scored more goals in a season than anyone else in Spanish history. And who would bet against that 54 becoming 60 or more? At 24, in his eight seasons, Messi's record is better than the very best. At this stage, Maradona had 196, Ronaldo 153, Henry 226, Cruyff 229 and Charlton 133. George Best got 179 in 11 seasons.

No one had as many trophies at this stage of their career either: Messi has 18. He has earned them: he scored in the final of the Copa del Rey, twice scored in the final of World Club Championships and twice scored in the Champions League final. Twice. Tuesday night was only a league game and his victims were only Granada. It might have been just another hat-trick except that it took him to 234 official goals for Barcelona. More, at 24, than anyone else has ever scored.