Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s.



WALSH

No lambs from Walsh this midweek - it’s like 6am in LA (where Walsh lives) but he did make one transfer and sent me a screenshot of his GW16 lineup:

Transfers:

OUT: Fuchs

IN: Toby

ALON

Transfers:

N/A taking my own advice and saving a FT in this nightmare rest/rotation GW

GK: I have president Lee Grant between the sticks just hoping he’s still the starter with that Butland setback from a couple of weeks ago. Who knows? But home Soton w/o Chaz is a looooottttt better then Pickfy home Chelsea so I’m hoping he starts. He’s good. He’s easily better then Karius I’d kill for Lee @ Pool. Meh. Bitter Liverpool fan Alon here.

DEF: Same shit as usual. I can’t wait for Koscielny and Arsenal to be winning 3-0 and leak their one dong per game as they fucking always do the bastards. Maybe Kos will ring in with some attacking return he’s been quiet on set pieces for a little bit now. My favorite Joel Matip holds his spot despite Liverpool’s defensive/goalie meltdown – Middlesbrough are still one of three best defensive fixtures (Hull and Burnley round of the all shit ass unambitious fucks). And lastly the artist formerly known as King Kolarov gets a spot with a nice fixture home Watford. Last week I benched him and he scored 11 points. Means he’s nailed for a -1 this week on some own goal and/or red card. It is nailed my dude… Fucking guy.

MID: Wow all of a sudden my midfield is a fucking wet dream of sexy ass footballers. Alexis and Arsenal should turnover Everton. Wenger mentioned some shit about Ox and Wally playing in “very demanding positions” which makes it seem to me like they’ll be rested, so Alexis probably keeps his spot, he’s a fucking robot anyway. Payet and Siggy are just beautiful boys playing shit teams which is a recipe for FPL success. And lastly I’m still with Bobby. More then anything I want him to prove the haters wrong this week in a Liverpool win. Please fucking god with those gameshow host teeth he can maybe blind Valdes and round him and fucking dong a couple dongs. I’ve not given up on him yet. But another blank and I will probably be sans any Liverpool attackers next GW which makes me sad…..

FWD: ‘Arry Kane home Hull is the perfect Kane/Spurs matchup to bounce back and score five. Costa at Sunderland is also insane levels of fuckfest. Beyond me that some people are still willingly going without him but I’m fine with it… Lastly VIC FUCKING ANICHEBE HOME CHELSEA LETS GO BOY!!!! I’m pretty sure that no one thing could possibly make me happier this GW16 then Vic Anichebe wiping out a Chelsea cleansheet. Wow. I’m al dente just thinking about it. Let’s do it you fucking UNIT.

Captain: There’s only one this week. You have Kane you cap Kane. He’s honestly kind of a dickface I don’t really like him but he produces. I think Hull are far and away the worst team in the league and nailed for relegation - they do 0 things well and Spurs should just wallop them. And there’s no better Spud to own in a walloping then the local boy pressing/making sprints for 90′ as he does. It’s nice that Janssen is dead so he’s nailed to start and play bulk minutes, but it doooeessss suck that Dembele isn’t playing as he has a really bad record when Dembele isn’t in the side. But it’s Hull. It’s fucking Hull mate. Should be a hell of a hullabaloo. YID ARMY.