One of the saddest and most revealing details about the Adrian Peterson child abuse allegations/indictment is this reported text exchange with the mother of one of the children who was whipped.

"… toughest of the bunch," Peterson wrote. "He got about five more pops than normal. He didn't drop one tear! So that was another indicator I'll have to try another system with him. SMH he's tough as nails …"

Adrian Peterson (Getty) More

The mother replied: "Well you can't hit him til he cries! That's just mean. He's trying to be strong for you. He's afraid of you. He's 4, he's not playing mind games with you …"

Peterson was trying to make his child into a man before the boy can even form and express complete thoughts. He's even excited about the challenge, as if facing down a would-be tackler. The child is trying to prove his own mettle, probably because he wants his dad to be proud of him. It's the same thing Peterson did with his own father, as a child and into his college years, when he dazzled the football world with his toughness as his dad sat in jail.

Peterson's greatest on-field accomplishment was in 2012, when he returned from two knee ligament tears to win MVP honors. It's understandable how Peterson saw the connection between enduring his dad's punishment and withstanding football's agony. He said he would never stop "whupping" his kids, "because I know how being spanked has helped me in my life."

The current NFL crisis, just like most of the league's past crises, lies not in who did what or who knew what when, but in a warped and conflicted definition of manhood. It's an issue that affects all of society – not just the NFL.

"We need to look at what it means to be a man," said Tony Porter, co-founder of "A Call to Men."

"What are we teaching our sons?"

More often than not, we are teaching our sons to exert control – over tears and emotions, then girls, then households and careers. Peterson's son was trying to keep control, and Peterson himself was trying to keep control over his son. That kind of control, no matter how good the intentions, can spiral into abuse of power. That's what happened in Peterson's case, and that can certainly happen in domestic violence situations.

"When you see people hit each other as a kid, or when you get hit as a kid, it's about power and control," said former NFL player Jimmy Stewart, who says he was abused as a child. "You want power and control over people."

Adrian Peterson is on paid leave until his legal case reaches a resolution. (AP) More

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