My first day included a third child for some reason

I survived. The boys survived. The cat survived (she frequently slunk off to the basement rafters for her time).

I’d call it a success.

Looks like we made it

Technically, my first day on the new job was January 2nd. But with the holidays, the odd work days for Jenny, and overall surrealness of being a stay-at-home dad, I didn’t want to evaluate my performance after three days.

Now that a full week has completed, I think it’s time for a quick retrospective. Those of you in software development might recognize the structure; I make no apologies.

What went well

The boys were very happy to stay home rather than be bundled up for daycare. If I’m to be honest, one of the first things I looked forward to was the discontinuation of that particular ritual. It is always a struggle to get them out the door, even for activities they enjoy. When a time crunch is added to it, plus the need to get ready for work, it’s… stressful. Let’s just say I’m not at my best when things go the slightest bit wrong.

Monday was a pretty light day. The weekend was busy, with a birthday party on Saturday and Christmas with my in-laws on Sunday.

One thing I got into this week was cooking at home. I’ve always been a fan of cooking. Long-time readers have seen my cold brewed coffee and my rather silly video on oven-baked chicken wings. This week I went all in, and I loved it. Sometimes I enlisted the boys, such as in our silly and dangerous-looking How to Open a Coconut video. Other times I put on an episode of PJ Masks while I diced up veggies.

Lentil soup (click for recipe)

Chile Verde with shrimp (click for recipe)

I also played some more with my new Sur La Table wok.

I made some fried rice for lunch on Thursday. My previous attempts with the wok went well, which may have made me a bit overconfident.

While the food was tasty (the boys wouldn’t touch it), things got a little hazy in here…

Things may have been a bit too hot

Overall, I enjoyed our week together and look forward to more.

What needs improvement

Unfortunately, I did not get them out of the house as much as I would have liked to. We only went out on Thursday, which created a couple of house monsters come the weekend.

When we did go out, it was fun, though the fight over “big” vs. “tiny” Shop & Play (Target) was a bit much. We only ran errands, which is not what I want to make every trip out, as they can’t be as wild and crazy as they need to be.

I need to improve my handling of their misbehavior, too. I found myself raising my voice too many times. Some of it is because they were truly misbehaving and not listening, but other times it was because I overreacted to a slight situation, such as a repeated request for something. One of them does has a continued issue with taking the other’s toy and running away, so that’s a project to work on over the next few weeks. But it’s not something I should believe will correct itself after a single incident where we sit in a corner together.

Takeaways for the next week

Cooking is something that brings me peace, even when the boys are helping. For one thing, they need to learn, and the best way is to watch me and learn how to follow direction. Even in a week, they’ve gotten much better with waiting for instruction rather than grabbing some random item and making a mess.

I also need to remember to take time to myself. That’s not to mean I go take a walk while the boys stay home. But it’s okay to disengage for a few minutes to practice mindfulness. One thing I fell into was diving into my phone, which I really should have said, “I’m going to the bedroom for a minute to breathe. Let me know if you need something.” Especially in high-stress situations, this purposeful disengagement can also show them it’s okay to walk away, even from people you love. Maybe they will eventually learn they too can retreat from a situation rather than escalating it.

Maybe.

I still have some other things I need to work on, such as event planning. Soon I will need to set up play dates, whether it’s with their old daycare buddies and provider, or with some of the friends who’ve reached out to me. I also need to remind myself it’s only the second Monday I’ve done this. To think I’d have it all nailed down, with perfect meal planning, event schedule, and routine is setting myself up for failure.

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