When it emerged I was going to make the Allusionist, I got a lot of people asking me, "Are there going to be puns in it?"

No, I cried! No! I hate puns!

This episode is about puns.

I thought if I got them out of the way, we might never need speak of them again.

Late last year, China announced puns are to be banned across all media. Frankly, I wish I could ban them in my own family. I spoke to my brother Andy and my dad Zack about their punning which has blighted my life since 1980.

Perhaps all Zaltzmans should be tested for Witzelsucht Disease.

If you're a glutton for punishment, some brave soul has edited together nearly TWO HOURS of Andy's puns from his podcast The Bugle, which you can listen to here. Warning: high dose may prove fatal.

MAILCHIMP'S RANDOMLY SELECTED WORD FROM THE DICTIONARY:

gralloch