I would like the record to show that not only do I take intelligent criticism to heart, but I even try to find value in the ... less than brilliant stuff that is so prevalent here on the Internet. And I think I can help everybody do the same. So here we go: My helpful guide for getting value out of even the most worthless pieces of Internet criticism.

Criticism is important. It's important for the critic, in order to exercise their rational thinking. It's important for the consumer, in order to ensure the quality of the product they're getting. It's important for the creator, in order to help them grow and continue improving. I appreciate good criticism, why is why it hurts when people say that I don't take it very well. To those people, I say: WHAT?! I'LL WRAP MY DICK AROUND YOUR NECK LIKE A LASSO AND THINK HAPPY THOUGHTS UNTIL YOUR HEAD POPS OFF.

5 "TL;DR"

TL;DR (or occasionally TL;DW) is a strange criticism. It's as though the critic wants everybody to know that their disdain for the work has nothing to do with the work itself. Clearly, the fault here is with the critic themselves, for having the approximate attention span of a coked-out fourth grader. I, uh ... I had a rough fourth grade.

"Sorry," the TL;DR guy seems to say, "I didn't like this, but only because I genocided my brain cells by huffing keyboard cleaner in a dumpster behind Office Depot."

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

The temptation here is to chalk up TL;DR as meaningless, but I think there's something to be gained from it. Nothing is actually too long for people to read or watch -- it's only too long for the reward that the piece offers. George R.R. Martin is one of the most widely read authors in the world, and his sole goal as a writer is to create tomes you could also use to bludgeon a charging rhino to death, should the need arise. The Lord Of The Rings film trilogy is one of the most profitable in history, and half its runtime was tracking shots of grass. Even idiots can spend a very large amount of time on something. So TL;DR doesn't mean that it was too long in general; only that it felt too long at the time.