College football has at last arrived. Every year we create these narratives. We try to say things will change or say that there will be new wrinkles. I’m just as guilty of this too. Us fans tend to expect things to happen that we know full well can’t and won’t happen. False expectations run rampant in college football and is a staple of college football fandom. We mistakenly hype up certain teams, or dismissing others. We overestimate the damage the loss of a player will have, or we overestimate the effects a new coach may bring. We do often expect the unexpected when the unexpected doesn’t happen (when it does though it makes it all the more glorious). With that said, here are 11 things I didn’t expect in week 1, but should have.

1. Literally everything bad about the Texas game

So I’m just going to get my favorite team’s most painful loss out of the way. First off, let me just say that Tim Beck is grossly incompetent and how that man is an offensive coordinator gives me the hope that I can do anything. I swear Texas ran up the gut for 90% of their plays. I love how hard Sam Ehlinger plays and the toughness he shows, and it breaks by heart to say it, but we gotta give Buechele a look next week (also what is up with that guy’s mustache?). His propensity to throw horrible interceptions in close games or make an errant throw when he rolls out can no longer be explained away by him being a freshman. The lack of solid QB play that Texas has had (except the one Jerrod Heard game against Cal and Case McCoy against Oklahoma) just has been lacking since Colt McCoy left and Garrett Gilbert was ruined. I don’t care Sam Ehlinger and Lil’Jordan (he’s facing a big decision on whether to stick with Lil’Jordan or shorten it to LJ, and I say just stick Lil’Jordan) Humphrey are best friends (that was definitely a random fact that the announcers casually dropped and I wanted to hear more about) Collin Johnson deserves more targets. Also why did they convert Jerrod Heard to receiver? This decision looks dumber by the day. Also Tre Watson definitely was down. This game was just designed for the most pain possible for Longhorn fans. Tom Herman got completely out coached by an interim coach who was thrown into his job with weeks before the season. I hate to just immediately jump on this, but when can Herman’s job be questioned? With all that said, the man I still miss the most is Michael Dickson. Why must the good leave so quickly? I have a sad feeling Breckyn Hager’s hair will be getting even longer for a long time to come (not that I dislike the long hair, I just dislike the reason it’s long).

2. Kansas losing to an FCS school

(I dare one of you to make a Texas lost to Kansas joke) Kansas’s football team is just in a sad state. Their coach went 3-33 in 3 seasons and it was the consensus to keep him around. I don’t know if it was the right choice to keep David Beatty around or what he has to do to stay around but that alone is just sad. I don’t really know the solution for the Jayhawks though besides patience and just finding the right coach (please just bring on the Lane Train).

3. Michigan getting a bad break once again

Over Jim Harbaugh‘s tenure, I don’t think there has been a more unlucky team in college football than Michigan. In 2015, they lost to Michigan State on a fumbled punt. If they win that game, they likely go to a NY6 bowl at 10-2 and the season is looked at in a better light. In 2016, they were a very controversial call away from being in the playoff. In 2017, with a young team, they faced multiple QB injuries and suffered because of it. This year, in a game that they can really make a mark on by winning, the high quality QB they’ve always wanted misses time due to cramping and also just doesn’t play well at all. I will defend Jim Harbaugh to the day I die, but man he must have sold his soul to the devil after the 49ers Super Bowl appearance because that is the best explanation I can think of. Maybe Harbaugh only does well when Pete Carroll is the coach of a rival team? I guess a Big 10 East team, or Notre Dame, or Minnesota should hire Carroll just to reverse the luck. Also something that is legitimately very shocking is that Brian Kelly stayed with one QB the whole time. I’d have bet a large sum of money that whoever started would’ve been pulled at some point.

4. Alabama wins without breaking a sweat and Nick Saban is dodgy and angry when asked about his QB controversy

Alabama had no trouble winning this game and it left me wondering why anyone was hyped for this game. I mean I somehow convinced myself Louisville could possibly keep it interesting for a bit. It’s probably because Jawon “Puma” Pass is just an awesome QB name so I naturally assumed he’d be really good. My hesitations about Alabama’s defense were definitely proven wrong today as they held Louisville to 30 yards on the ground and grabbed two picks. The bIggest issue with Alabama right now is a QB controversy pretty much will not go away (oh how I’d love for that to be the biggest of my worries). Whoever they choose not to start will be comfortably the best backup QB in the country (I have done no research to back up this claim) and both have done many things to prove they can be the QB of a major program. While I don’t think he’s done quite enough to prove he’s better, it’s clear that Alabama should go with Tua Tagovailoa as their QB. Jalen Hurts has done a lot for the program and I still think might be the better of the two QB’s, but his ceiling is known while Tua’s isn’t Hurts definitely should have transferred before the season (him at Georgia Tech would be so sweet, that is if he decides against my beloved Longhorns) taken his redshirt year, then go back to being the starter at a different school. Also can Nick Saban please just not get all worked up about naming a starter. It’s clear he thinks Tua is better, just admit it to a reporter. I think Saban knows that when Hurts spoke to the media about the way the QB situation was handled, that Hurts was right and Saban and the coaching staff did a poor job communicating with Hurts and Saban takes his frustrations out on reports (I call that pulling a Gregg Popovich). It just bothers me that it’s clear he’s named a starter and knows who is better for the team to go with but he won’t outright say it. Also the 2017 recruiting class for Alabama is insane (Tua, Najee Harris, DeVonta Smith, Jerry Jeudy, Henry Ruggs, Alex Leatherwood, Dylan Moses off the top of my head).

5. Clemson’s QB controversy intensifies instead of simmers

Kelly Bryant and Trevor Lawrence both played well yesterday. The Clemson fans just still can’t get Bryant’s rough performance against Alabama out of their heads (I mean I don’t really blame them it was pretty rough). With all that, and Lawrence performing well (neither performance by the QB’s should be taken super seriously since it was against an FCS school) Bryant has fans begging for his demotion. It’s definitely a tough decision for Dabo Swinney to make. Bryant can make plays with his legs and is capable of making some nice short passes, but Lawrence can just make the big throws Bryant can’t make. I’ve said it before but I don’t think there’s a player in college football under more pressure than Kelly Bryant. Any time he messes up, the threat of a blue chip QB taking his spot will loom. I’m not quite sure who I would start. Bryant is a proven commodity that can do well but fails to come through in facets of the game that Lawrence thrives in. I think trying to do things with each QB would be the way to do it, but I see a Cole Stoudt-Deshaun Watson situation happening.

6. Georgia may have QB questions

So first off, three of the four teams in last year’s playoff bring back their starting QB’s and it’s conceivable that none of them will start by the end of the year. Justin Fields was quite good yesterday (yes it’s against an FCS school but still it’s something you have to take note of). But I also think that Jake Fromm was very good last year and deserves the starting job and a vote of confidence. I just can already see the fans ready to pounce when Fromm makes a mistake. Fields may end up playing in certain packages, but I just worry that it leads to a slow eclipsing of Fromm as the starter. This is just a perfect example as to why I think highly rated QB’s need to look at the program they commit to and their depth chart, and that it’d be better to just go to a mid level P5 school with better job security and it is more possible for them to leave the school as a campus legend (think RG3 at Baylor or Manziel at Texas A&M, and think about how they’d lose some fame if they went to Alabama or another marquee school).

7. Mike Leach is up to shenanigans

Washington State survived a scare against Wyoming yesterday and pulled through with a 41-19 win where Gardner Minshew and James Williams eventually got the offense going. However most interesting part of the game was when receiver Kyle Sweet (who is a receiver who also punted before, and will probably play some defensive tackle next week) lined up at center in swinging gate and snapped it directly to the side, where they ran the ball. It only lasted for two plays but it was indeed quite peculiar. But I have to say, why would anyone expect anything different from Mike Leach (my favorite college football coach ever, I would trade in Tom Herman for him right now and not think twice about it) who always has an unusual way to do things. Also his post game interview where he mentions jackalopes is pure gold.

8. There are plenty of turnover chain ripoffs

Last year Miami’s success brought along the cultural phenomenon that is the turnover chain, where a defender who caused a turnover would wear it on the sidelines (Kennesaw State’s turnover plank is better, don’t @ me). With this, there are now imitators. Among the imitators were Memphis’s takeaway champ robe, Boise State’s turnover throne, and Tulane’s turnover chain/beads. LSU broke out their turnover towel during the game (I respect all forms of mockery unless it’s at my expense of course). But it needs to be said that all of those (except maybe Tulane’s) just look dumb and cringeworthy to me. Can they just find something else to applaud players for or just a new idea (as mad as I was when they showed it, Maryland’s excessive juice sign is kinda cool and is smart if it does get the team hyped). Thanks for listening and I will now yell at these children to get off my lawn and quit being lazy.

9. Oklahoma’s offense is still insane

Now yes this was against Florida Atlantic, but Oklahoma pretty easily put up 42 in one half so it’s safe to say they’re the real deal. While Baker Mayfield is an all time great, Oklahoma seems to have barely, if at all lost a step. Despite my high expectations for Kyler Murray, I just didn’t expect it to be firing on all cylinders this early with a new QB, and others to replace. Murray has more than impressed me (nobody will believe me but I did definitely call this but he did even better than my high expectations). Rodney Anderson and Murray are both possible Heisman contenders in my opinion. Hollywood Brown made some impressive catches, and Trey Sermon did a great job carrying the ball. I’ve definitely had some suspicions that Lincoln Riley will be Mark Helfrich 2.0, but if Oklahoma’s offense performs this well consistently this year, I may have to erase those suspicions (for now at least).

10. LSU has another running back up it’s sleeve

So uh I don’t know how to say this, (because this is the first time I’ve ever been wrong about anything ever obviously) but I was definitely wrong about this game. I figured LSU would just go nowhere on offense and I definitely was not right about that. Without a proven commodity at running back, the position hat LSU has been very consistent at the last few years(yes I’m overly explaining why my mistake was understandable) it just seemed like LSU’s offense would definitely sputter. Then the hero known as Nick Brossette sprang to action. Joe Burrow did mediocre, not great but really that was more than enough after Brossette ran through Miami’s top caliber defense. Miami really seems like they’re going to fall off this year if their defense does not improve and if they do not find an answer at QB. I didn’t expect the Florida State and Virginia Tech game to decide the second best ACC team, but it might. Jeff Thomas made some terrific plays, but they couldn’t offset a rough day for Malik Rosier. It’s probably time for N’Kosi Perry to see some playing time. Ahmmon Richards disappointed with only one catch. At least maybe now the turnover chain will die (and make room for the way cooler turnover plank Kennesaw State uses). Also I just need to use this to bring up a couple of other miscellaneous thoughts I had while watching this game. First off, the announcers really seemed to low key roast Cole Tracy’s former school but lay repeatedly talking about how their stadium only held 1,200 people and how they had to share the field with the soccer, lacrosse and field hockey teams like a bunch of no good plebeians. It’s as if the announcers couldn’t comprehend that schools could make less money off football than a power 5 school. Secondly it’s baffling that Leonard Fournette has a brother named Lanard. How uncreative are those parents. So I’m assuming they didn’t think of a name beforehand, saw Leonard, their oldest son and changed one vowel to make Lanard’s name sound unique (also did you know that Lance Stephenson has a brother named Lantz).

11. Virginia Tech’s defense is a-ok still (and also a lunch pail defense of course)

It appears as though Florida State’s resurgence may have to wait a bit as they were steamrolled by Virginia Tech. I had trepidations about this year’s Virginia Tech team, especially their defense (with nobody named Fuller or Edmunds for the first time since 1985, it’s easy to be worried). But I now know to never doubt Bud Foster, and his defensive expertise. The Virginia Tech defense made Deondre Francois look silly. Through this game, it didn’t seem like Virginia Tech was more talented, it just seemed like they were smarter, and more prepared. It’s hard to win the game when you lose the turnover battle and Virginia Tech handily won the turnover battle and Florida State just couldn’t overcome that. For all we know, it could just be that Willie Taggart is already focused on where he’ll be coaching next year.

With that out of the way, here are some miscellaneous thoughts that had popped into my brain over the weekend

1. Auburn and Washington have some very impressive defenses to say the least. Washington will be shutting down a lot of Pac 12 offenses this season.

2. McKenzie Milton is the real deal. He will be thrashing some AAC defenses this year, and he’s the main reason UCF is my pick to be this year’s G5 rep in the NY6 bowls.

3. I hope one day to watch a game where one of the players has a famous parent in attendance, and they don’t constantly show said parent (looking at you ESPN when you showed Trent Green approximately 700 times during Purdue vs Northwestern).

4. Will Grier is my choice for best QB in college football and David Sills is probably the best receiver. Now if only West Virginia had other players of note (I think the third most famous member of the team is their mountaineer mascot who was suspended for a game last year due to a DUI).

5. It’s crazy to say this after a 77-31 loss but, Oregon State definitely looks more competitive this year. They have some fast dudes on that team.

6. Dwayne Haskins is also the real deal. Tate Martell will open up his transfer recruitment shortly. I don’t say this often because of my hatred of them, but Tate Martell should go to Texas A&M for memes sake.

7. Ole Miss is going to put up some points on teams this year especially if Scottie Phillips keeps up this performance. They definitely will upset someone in a shootout this year I’m officially calling it (please be Alabama).

8. Penn State should thank their lucky stars that Trace McSorley threw an absolute dime for the game tying touchdown. That team has work to do on defense. Also the announcers should thank their lucky stars that it was Appalachian State they were playing so they could fill air time by mentioning their well known upset of Michigan repeatedly.

9. Lightning delays and game cancellations just flat out suck. Especially when the game does happen but for just 5 minutes like Iowa State and South Dakota State.

10. I wish there were some more competitive rivalries between FBS and FCS schools. Villanova and Temple was cool. Also I feel like FCS teams pulling off the upset is more common than one would think.

11. Boise State may have to make me recant my previous prediction about UCF (may have to but I haven’t yet). They blew Troy, a high level G5 team out of the water. Their game at Oklahoma State will be interesting for sure.

12. Chip Kelly has some work to do at UCLA. I think he can turn them around but it may take longer than anticipated. Also I feel bad for Wilton Speight.

13. Jalen Hurd had a solid performance in his debut at receiver for Baylor. I hope that works out for him because that dude took a risk I don’t think I’d have been willing to make. It’s hard to remember that this guy started ahead of Alvin Kamara and made the call to switch positions.

14. N’Keal Harry is an absolute beast. I can easily see him carry Arizona State’s offense this year.

15. Hawaii looks good. I always think it’s cool when they’re good. Hopefully this will continue. Also they need to bring back the rainbow uniforms.

16. College Football being back is awesome and I’m so ready the next 4 months.

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