"What do you think?" I asked my roommate, the only person besides Hiddleston I know who had eaten such a thing before. "You can... really taste every ingredient." (Later, the next day, she would repeat the same thing. It may be the truest thing she's ever said.) For dessert, I made chocolate chip cookies, because maybe, just maybe, for that brief, shining moment when there was Hiddleswift, he made his bolognese and she made cookies. I have the unique talent of having the Nestle Tollhouse cookie recipe memorized, so I whipped up a batch as the sauce braised. The pasta-less bolognese and cookies were both good, but they didn't really go together... maybe their love was always doomed. I had set out to recreate wanted to recreate the magic of Hiddleston's bolognese. And while it wasn't as bad as cafeteria food, it did fall somewhat short of my expectations. Was it because I watched Rupaul's Drag Race while making it, instead of Moonlight, as Hiddleston did? Was it because I don't have the twinkle in my eye that he does? Does Hiddleston's charm render even a basic meat sauce more delectable? We may never know. But, if you want to try it yourself, below, you will find my own interpretation of Hiddleston's recipe, plus my Nebraskan Italian dunkers addition. Italian Dunkers ala Tom Hiddleston

Serves 4



Ingredients

8 oz ground beef (I went with sirloin, but really, I was just guessing at this point)

1 carrot, minced as best you can

1 stalk of celery, same as above

1/2 large onion, though honestly, a whole small onion would also be fine

2 slices bacon, sliced

2 tablespoons butter, but also probably a little bit less?

32 oz can diced tomato

Red wine (some for sauce, rest for drinking)

As much milk as you can stand before thinking about how gross it is to braise dairy

"Garnish" to taste (I assume this is salt and pepper) For Bread:

Hotdog or hero rolls

Shredded mozzarella cheese Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 180 degrees Celsius (about 360 Fahrenheit) 2. In a dutch oven, melt butter, add bacon. Once bacon is just starting to crisp, add the carrot, celery, and onion. Stir occasionally, till the vegetables start to soften and brown. Add the ground beef, and cook till just browned. 3. Stir in the diced tomatoes, a few healthy glugs of wine, and a splash of milk (I probably could have done more here, but was terrified the whole time.) 4. Bring whole pot to a boil, then simmer on low until the sauce thickens and darkens, around 15 minutes. 5. Add salt and pepper ("healthy garnish"????) to taste. Place in the preheated oven, and let braise for, I don't know, an hour I guess? Less is probably fine? About as long as it takes you to make one recipe of chocolate chip cookies. Add the bread topped with cheese in at the end. 6. Pour the rest of the red wine in glasses, eat, enjoy, and reflect on whether you really think Hiddleswift was a publicity stunt. Like the true nature of Hiddleston's bolognese, the answer may be unknowable.