There was something noticeably absent from the Trump White House and many took it as a direct reflection of the Presidential Family. For the first time in 150 years, the President made the executive decision not to have a pet. Past presidents had taken in dogs, gators, a pygmy hippopotamus, sheep, and even grizzly bears. It seemed Trump would not join the club — until recently. Unlike his usual brazen demeanor, he kept the addition of his new animal companion — Vlad the Vulture — relatively mum. However, reporters spotted the feathery little guy hopping behind Trump on the White House green. Sources inside the administration say the pet follows Trump everywhere, circling him almost all day and night. Apparently, nobody actually feeds Vlad the Vulture, leading many to speculate that the carrion has been picking away at the decaying American Dream. The adorable little scavenger is rumored to be a gift from the Kremlin, “in honor of democracy and the continued greatness of the United States.”