Without lip gloss, will we even recognize her? Tiger Woods consults Buddhist prayers on his Blackberry. Michael Lohan pops the question to Kate Major. Whoopi Goldberg is on Team Jesse James. Wednesday's gossip roundup has seen a ghost.

Jessica Simpson will appear on the May cover of Marie Claire with "no retouching or makeup" but with lots of soft lighting and a fancy photographer. The cover will coincide with currently-airing docureality show The Price of Beauty, in which Jess jets around the world learning exciting new ways to feel insecure. [P6]

Michael Jackson's kids may be forced to testify in Dr. Conrad Murray's trial for killing their dad. Apparently the Jackson family "honestly believe that Dr. Murray is to be blamed for Michael's death, and they believe what the children saw the day he died will prove it." There is an alternate history to be written about the Jacksons, understood solely from their courtroom dramas. [NBN]

Tiger Woods has a Buddhist prayer app on his Blackberry. (Are they called apps on Blackberries? Maybe it's just a daily email list.) The switch from sexting to praying on one's Blackberry is a pivotal one. [NBN second item]

Speaking of cheaters: Whoopi Goldberg cheated "five or six times" during her marriage. "It's nobody's fault. Maybe he was looking for something different... It happens sometimes." You and Donald Trump, Whoopi. The only people in America who take Jesse's side. [Celebitchy, E!]

Jon Gosselin is suing for primary custody of the Plus Eight because Kate's appearances on Dancing with the Stars have "turned her into an absentee mom." Luckily, though Kate's catastrophic Lady Gaga paso doble didn't get her kicked off the show, it probably means she is not long for America's schmaltziest dance competition, and will be back in the Plus Eight roost soon enough. [AP, Popeater]

Speaking of Jon Gosselin, his ex (and ethically troubled journalist) Kate Major is engaged to Michael Lohan. "With all the things I've been through this year with Lindsay and my past relationships and my heart attacks, Kate has always been there for me," said Lohan. [Radar]

Letterman blackmailer Joe Halderman has a new girlfriend, who he met on Match.com. Apparently a reporter "approached her outside Halderman's Norwalk house," but either couldn't figure out her name, or isn't willing to tell us. Mysterious! Who is the enigmatic "Sandra," and why is she dating a man infamous, essentially, for being a terrible ex-boyfriend? [P6]

CSI star Gary Dourdan is off the hook on a domestic violence charge. Apparently it was just loud sex. [TMZ]

Jersey Shore's Vinny's role model is Leonardo DiCaprio. "I can tell you're a good Italian kid, from a good family," he said to Leo once. Now he always asks himself, "What would Leo do? What would Leo do? I keep reciting that in my head." It helps him remember to stay "low key" at clubs. [P6]

"I think I've cried 100 times at The Notebook," admitted tough guy Channing Tatum. "I mean, my wife cries. [It] makes me cry every time." Sure. [SocialiteLife]

[Image via Pacific Coast News]