Church of dim

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Mission statement

In every religion there is a common, fundamental, and truly flawed position held in their doctrines: the assumed superiority of human beings. We, at the Church of Dim, are not so near-sighted.

The CoD certainly recognizes and celebrates enlightened human spirits, such as Saint Walter Sobchak and Prophet George Carlin (praise be), yet we believe in the inherent inferiority of man. In the race of humans, we have all lost – we have created war and guns and Justin Bieber and potato chips flavored like Chicken & Waffles. Enough is enough.

It is time that humans reverse course and devolve so that we may eventually slither back into slimy marshes and allow a new species to take the throne as kings of the food chain. We at the CoD prefer to think of the new alpha species as a massive, eagle-like creature with a grizzly bear head, razor wings, laser eyes, sword like talons, a flame-throwing anus, and a 340 I.Q. But the laser eyes part is pure speculation.

Let us celebrate. Let us commune. Let us devolve.