As birds of a feather flock together, so do people who each feel like the odd one out. On the surface of it, we try to blend into the people around us, we talk to them, we act like them and we try hard to fit in. However, while young and still under the thumb of our parents, we live a double life and fit in neither.

I was having a chat with a friend who is in the same position as me. However, she is at a different stage of life - almost ten years younger and unmarried. Her focus at present, is finding a life partner who she intends to make her husband. I have been chatting a lot to her about this subject as it does seem to occupy her mind a lot at the moment. This is fine; I think it is the way it should be at her age as she decides to make such a big life decision.

The point of this preamble however is to discuss the difficulty some of us girls face when we come to choose a life partner. Who should we choose?

1. Someone from Nigeria who in theory will share our inbred values, our background and some of our past or 2. Someone who lives where we do but who may be of a different race to us and have some differing views but will share our present life?

I know lots of people think we should all stay with our own kind but how do we decide what our own kind is, when we are struggling to fit into either society.