The problem with OKCupid’s real names or “original names”

An open letter to the product folks at OKCupid

The last time I checked, OKCupid is not a non-profit organization. So the business decision to clean up usernames with a path to monetizing user information is understandable. There’s a problem, your most profitable users will flee.

Switching “MAGAChad” to plain “Chad” doesn’t get rid of shitty users on your platform. We know large platforms full of user generated content (ahem, YouTube) have been hemorrhaging ad dollars because they can’t control user content. Hate speech, abusive content, and straight up illegal shit prosper on these platforms. They’re free and easy to use. OKCupid has had a brush of it too when a Neo-Nazi’s profile was discovered. There was a clear need to disassociate before a brand with integrity added OKCupid to its blacklist.

The problem with OKCupid is that it’s a free website. Anyone can send me targeted wave of unwanted messages, reverse image search my photos, and continue to harass me. Ever try telling someone that you’re not interested only to be tracked down and called a cunt on a completely unrelated platform? Online dating is awesome.

Yet I put up with it. I’ve met wonderful people, notably my lovers. Between us and my friends in the polyamorous community, we are more likely to pay the premium. And there is less churn because polyamorous people are *always* dating. We love the privacy settings and the search capabilities. Think of the lifetime value of these users!

But we’re still a minority. Premium subscriptions may bring in some revenue, but the platform is still free and ad-supported for the majority of its users. Which means the users *are* the product. With the recent change, there is legitimate concern over how our data is shared and how it will be shared in the future. Luckily, implementing Facebook/Google authentication on a decade+ old platform is unlikely to have a huge adoption rate. But is this something we have to be concerned about?

Because Facebook and Google connects user data. Simply put, if I were constantly logged into Facebook or Google on my devices… there is a data pixel that store information based on the sites I engage with. I am a 29 year old bisexual polyamorous, cis-female, divorced, frequent traveler, and lover of bisexual cuckold porn. These are things that can be siphoned based on my web behavior. While hyper-targeting works wonders, these can be used to discriminate against users, as Facebook has enabled advertisers to do again and again. Age discrimination, racial discrimination, credit discrimination are all against federal law. Yet it happens. Again and again.

OKCupid made a business decision that doesn’t address issues of brand safety or ad fraud. By doing so, they are alienating their most dedicated users in the queer, kink, and/or poly communities while creating a method for abusers to stalk and harass.

So it’s easy to see why people are pissed. Maybe listen to your users?