My son has been married to my daughter in law for 9 years and they finally had their first baby this spring, I don't know if it took so long due to fertility issues or by choice. Anyway, not relevant.

None of us live near each other. I live on the East Coast, the other grandma is in Texas, and my son lives on the West Coast. So, I was expecting not a lot of closeness. But now, I have been finding that my daughter-in-law's mom has been getting more of a relationship with the grandbaby. Which is fine, my DIL took a lot of maternity leave and is home with the baby, and she takes lots of photos and sends them to her own mom. It really hurt to find out though that even my son sends pictures to his mother-in-law instead of me. I only get to see photos on Facebook, and many times, they are posted by the other grandma, who is always gushing about how much she loves him.

Even worse, I feel completely blindsided that my son has told me he is trying to convince his wife to move to Texas, pretty much down the way from her parents. He is trying to talk her into it, and he wants to move closer to them. That stings. I know he has closeness to her family, because they had known each other since way back in high school and sees them like family.

My son has been pulling away ever since I remarried again and has said all kinds of things about not wanting to be around the new family that comes with my husband. I feel like this is his way of getting back at me. He won't talk to me about any of this as just says it makes his family happy.

tl;dr: Son is drifting towards his in-laws over his own family, and the other grandma is practically treated like the only legitimate grandma now that baby is here. I think this is some kind of ultimatum about my new husband, but he brushes off any kind of conversation. How do I present things in a way that will let me have a relationship with my grandbaby? I'm not getting any younger!