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The truth finally comes out. What will our leaders do? Probably nothing.

HRC Gets the FY18 Aviation Bonus Survey Results

00:00 - 00:03 We are successfully outwitting the RTAG rebel scum.

00:04 - 00:05 Anti-RTP PowerPoints have been sent to FORSCOM.

00:05 - 00:07 CW5 Roland is pushing propaganda at Fort Rucker.

00:08 - 00:12 Meanwhile, bonuses will lock certain year groups in with ADSOs.

00:12 - 00:15 We are also increasing warrant recruiting and flight school commitments.

00:17 - 00:19 Bonues are historically around a 70% to 90% rate of acceptance.

00:19 - 00:21 We'll fix manning and get great OERs because of it.

00:24 - 00:26 Sir...

00:27 - 00:28 ... acceptance rates ...

00:31 - 00:33 ... acceptance rates are below 10%. UQRs keep increasing.

00:34 - 00:36 We cannot afford to compete with the airlines.

00:53 - 00:58 Any officers in this room who have plans to go to the airlines, leave now.

01:13 - 01:15 G1 SAID WE WOULD BE FINE!

01:15 - 01:17 CW5 ROLAND SAID WE WOULD BE FINE!

01:18 - 01:23 It was that damn e-mail he sent to the warrant officer cohort last month!

01:25 - 01:28 "Quite professionals," my ass. All that PME for nothing.

01:29 - 01:31 Of course the Army couldn't be the Army without its aviators.

01:31 - 01:34 The UQRs and retirement packets are endless! Why do we always underestimate the W.O.L.F pack?!

01:34 - 01:37 Doug Parker, Derek Kerr, Robert Isom! Friggen American Airlines Group!

01:37 - 01:40 I don't want to hear "R-T-P" ever again!

01:40 - 01:42 Sir, the major airlines are facing mass baby boomer retirements and they --

01:42 - 01:46 WE ARE FACING MASS RETIREMENTS AND PILOT SHORTAGES, TOO!

01:46 - 01:48 Sir, a major airline pilot can work half the month and gross over $300k.

01:48 - 01:52 And "they have a 15-18% 401k direct contribution for their retirement," I know the facts.

01:53 - 01:54 WE HAVE FREE HEALTHCARE!

01:56 - 01:57 "Oh, the airlines have amazing travel benefits for family --"

01:57 - 02:00 have they never heard of USAF Space Available flight benefits?

02:00 - 02:03 We now have a TSP *and* a 5% matching Blended Retirement System!

02:04 - 02:08 Chief Hildi von Shaft told me she'd earn $2.1 million NPV more by leaving now at 16 years!

02:08 - 02:13 Since when are warrants fiscally responsible and making wise career choices?!?!

02:14 - 02:16 WE SHOULD HAVE OFFERED THEM PICKLE SUITS AND MORALE PATCHES!

02:17 - 02:21 It's not like we don't have 8,046 boxes of flight suits on-hand in warehouses at Ft. Rucker!

02:27 - 02:29 Look at me, a careerist RLO.

02:30 - 02:34 I should have gone to the airlines years ago. I could be gaining massive seniority right now,

02:34 - 02:36 riding my way to the top on this retirement wave...

02:41 - 02:42 ... a widebody captain...

02:43 - 02:47 ... and paid off my house, cars, my kid's college; maybe own a condo or two in Hawaii.

02:48 - 02:53 As for my whore ex-wife Anna, she couldn't take the 11 deployments in the time we were married.

02:54 - 02:56 "You're never home," she would say. She would have cheated regardless.

02:56 - 02:59 That's why you all should never shotgun marry Fayetteville strippers.

03:00 - 03:02 THAT'S WHY YOU DON'T TELL PEOPLE YOU'RE AN APACHE PILOT!

03:04 - 03:07 "It's okay, Anna, I know you're from Watertown."

03:14 - 03:16 Our generals are going to brief Congress next week...

03:19 - 03:23 People are leaving for quality of life issues; this has nothing to do with pay.

03:25 - 03:26 That's the truth.

03:31 - 03:33 But our leaders won't admit that.

03:40 - 03:46 It would be a reflection of their poor leadership. The bureaucracy is destroying the military.

03:46 - 03:49 Speaking of which, SHARP & EO training at 1600.