When I first read about that Naval officer who drew a penis in the sky with his plane last week, I thought it was kind of funny, probably because I’m culturally conditioned to laugh at men's silly antics. Boys will be boys, right?

I also found the subsequent reports about how neighbors were outraged pretty funny too, especially the part about the upset mom who said she now has to explain that penis to her kids. “What a prude!” I thought, like a judgmental jerk.

But then I put myself in my sister’s shoes and wondered how she'd explain penis graffiti to my young nieces. That’s when it hit me—maybe this mom’s distress is more about having to tell her kids why someone would do this and not at all about the penis itself.

The more I thought about it, the more it pissed me off. Why do men feel the need to remind everyone of their penises, even in public spaces like, say, the sky?

I used to think it’s because they’re horny and immature, which is partly true. But it wasn’t a tween boy flying that plane. It was a grown-ass man in the military. Women are horny too (and occasionally immature) but you don’t see us drawing genitalia all over the place, do you? This isn’t about sex. Because if it were, we’d be seeing boobs, butts, and vaginas drawn on every subway platform in New York, not men’s own genitalia.

What it's really about, I'm understanding, is power. Dominance, perhaps. Maybe neediness. Entitled boy-men trying to force women to acknowledge their all-important penises, whether we care to or not.

Now, before you go assuming I’m some prude, I assure you, I’m not. Far from it. I adore a good penis! But I’ve been assaulted by my fair share of them too, which—like a lot of other women—makes my relationship to them complicated. Because I’ve been forced to look at one too many against my will, whether it be on a subway platform, on a bus, or on a park bench. I’ve been masturbated next to by strangers and even a coworker, I’ve had countless boners shoved into my back while I’m trying to dance, and I’ve been raped. I’m realizing now that even a stupid penis drawing is male anatomy being forced into my world.