6.56pm BST

Good evening and god aften, people of Europe! Welcome to this year’s Guardian Eurovision liveblog. Tonight’s competition comes live and direct from Copenhagen, so it only stands to reason that I’ll be writing this liveblog from a tatty sofa in a block of flats quite near Catford. It’s more or less the same thing. Don’t break my heart. It is.

What's important is that I’ll be here for you throughout tonight’s festivities, offering commentary on every song, every costume, every botched link, every regrettable piece of geographically-specific performance art masquerading as a halftime interval. If it happens onscreen, I’ll be trying to think of something funny to say about it. And failing. And then crying. If tonight goes as well as last year’s competition, I’ll end the evening sweating, exhausted, looking a full decade older than I actually am and teetering on the cusp of a fairly brutal emotional breakdown. It’ll be fun, promise.

But I refuse to do this alone. As always, your comments will be the best thing about this entire endeavour, so please chip in with your observations and bizarrely angry judgements as often as you possibly can. I’ll be back here at 8pm, so take this time to introduce yourself below and try to guess who’ll actually win this thing. Will it be Armenia? Sweden? The UK (Note: it will probably not be the UK)? My personal favourite this year is Italy which means, if history is anything to go by, it’ll end up coming 15th. See you soon!

