Fewer than half of the city's would-be drivers pass their road tests, but clearly, the city needs to crack down on the Douchebag portion of the exam. Here we see two grown men fighting, with their matching cars, over a parking spot recently vacated by a taxi.

The video starts in medias res, with onlookers counseling the men to come to their senses. "You guys, stop," one woman pleads. "Not worth it, guys." This advice will go unheeded.

At the 32 second mark, the cameraman learns a valuable lesson in home recording and flips the camera horizontally, heralding by far the most intelligent decision anyone associated with this video will make.

At the 43 second mark, the men appear to have grown bored with each other, each retreating to his respective corner car. You think it's over. But you are very shrewd, and you notice that the video still has a solid two minutes left. You're glad the cameraman righted the camera. You make popcorn and come back.

Douche 1 makes like he's going to drive away, but no—a lightbulb flickers on in his lizard douche brain. He will not drive away. He will sit there, in his car, blocking Douche 2's matching silver 4-door steed. At this points, innocents are involved. Annoyed honking is audible. The honking quickly transitions from occasional to one, 15 second long blare. Who is this hero? The camera pans back.

Enter Porsche Douche, of which no epic tale of Idiocy is complete without. Satisfied that he's made his point, Douche 1 eventually pulls into the parking spot, and the curtains are drawn.

"How was the fight?" one onlooker can be heard asking as things wind down. "So so," the cameraman responds. "A lot of misses."