Click here to Ask Buddy a question

Yesterday we announced that Steve Google, bastard cousin of Google founder Larry Google, is starting his own search engine. At the core of the engine – the answerer of all questions – is Chrislip High School sophomore Buddy Fenster. He’s shared his wisdom with the Journal before, and you can take a look at his nuggets here.

We thought we’d start him off with an easy question because it’s his first day on the Ask Buddy job. Also, because he’s a pinhead.

Question: “I’m a first-year student at Chrislip College, and I’m having trouble in my physics class, most notably, in our studies of Einstein’s theory of relativity. The professor has explained it, but he did so in very technical terms, and I have trouble understanding it. Could you explain relativity in layman’s terms?” – G.F., Chrislip

Answer: Yes, I do. Albert Einstein was a famous scientist with cool hair. He invented relativity in Europe, and it soon spread to Germany, and now it’s all over the place, including Chrislip.

The main thing Einstein noticed when he got a good look at relativity is that everything is relative. That should clear everything up for you. But maybe I can give you an example.

Have you seen the movie Zombie Bloody Zombie? It’s not very good. When you’re watching it, time seems to go by really slow, but you still have to watch because you paid for the DVD. Now let’s say you’re watching a really good movie, such as Cheerleaders at Cannibal High. Time goes by so fast and you get so involved in the movie, especially the parts with the cheerleaders and cannibals, that sometimes you go to the bathroom without even leaving the couch.

There’s a formula that we use to remember Einstein, which is this: E=MC². This stands for “Einstein is equal to Miley Cyrus, too.” It reminds us that even though Einstein was a brilliant scientist who changed the world with his ideas, and Miley is hot and plays Hannah Montana, it doesn’t necessarily mean she’s better than him.



