A 40-year-old Bedford, N.S., woman who sexually abused her two youngest children for the entertainment of an American man watching online says she doesn't know why she did it.

"It's something I've been struggling with," the woman told Judge Elizabeth Buckle Wednesday at the conclusion of her three-day sentencing hearing in Halifax provincial court.

"I went from loathing people who do this to being one."

The woman, whose identity is banned from publication in order to protect her children, has pleaded guilty to eight charges including sexual assault, making child pornography and corrupting a child.

The abuse began in September 2016 and lasted until March 2018, when the woman was arrested. In all, she produced 23 hours of video of her abusing her boy and girl, who were aged six and eight at the time. Some of it came from hidden cameras she had concealed in the bathroom and the bedroom of her older daughter.

While the older daughter wasn't abused, video of her naked was shared through the social media site Dropbox and through Skype feeds.

The woman's American accomplice is already serving a 26-year prison sentence for his part in the crimes. Text messages retrieved by police suggest the woman was in love with him and agreed to abuse her children for his pleasure.

Memory loss

The woman's lawyer, Brad Sarson, said Wednesday his job is to try to minimize the aggravating factors and emphasize the mitigating ones. He acknowledged that is very difficult in this case.

Sarson said the woman suffers from memory loss, which he said could be attributed to sexual abuse she suffered when she was 12 or 13. Sarson said the abuse happened at the hands of a grandfather of a friend who first plied the young girls with alcohol.

The woman suffered strict corporal punishment at the hands of her father, Sarson said, and was shot with a pellet gun by one of her brothers, who also beat her up.

She was exposed to pornography by an aunt and uncle who watched it in the presence of young children, he said. However, Sarson said the woman has no independent memory of this and was only told about it by family members.

A forensic psychologist who examined her in preparation for the sentencing hearing said she also exhibited symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder, according to the lawyer.

Woman received no money

As for the crimes themselves, Sarson acknowledged the woman received no money for the offences, only encouragement from the American man she was trying to establish a relationship with. Sarson said the woman had been a stay-at-home mother with limited employment experience.

The lawyer reminded Buckle that in addition to any sentence she will hand out, the woman has lost all contact with her four children, who are now in the custody of their father.

The woman said she hopes one day to re-establish contact with the children, or at the very least show them that she has become a better person.

Sarson is seeking a sentence of seven years. The Crown earlier this week recommended 10.

Buckle said she will need time to weigh all the evidence and arguments and will pass sentence at the end of August.

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