The Captain is an absolute madlad fuckin’ unit of a good cunt that leaves a trail of smashed sheilas and tinnies in his wake.

Bring him a smuggling contract and he’ll put in the hard yakka guaranteed, legless or not.

Give him a head to crack and he’ll glass the cunt and shout you a coldie on the way out.

Just in case you didn’t notice, he’s pretty Australian.