"By the time I was 18, I kind of felt it was already out of control."

Shayne Rogers grew up in a household where gambling was a very normal part of life.

"There were always those discussions around the family table … 'When we win TattsLotto we're going to do this and that'," Shayne says.

Shayne says he got involved with small bets through his parents before he was old enough to bet on his own, and he thought if he was going to have financial success it would come through that elusive big win.

Shayne uses his experience with sports betting and punting on the races to help other young men get control of their gambling. ( Supplied: Shayne Rogers )

This mindset and behaviour is not uncommon. Australians gamble more, and therefore lose more, than any other nation.

Australians spent $23.7 billion on gambling in 2016-17, with expenditure on race betting, sports betting and electronic gaming machines increasing.

A lot of gambling can be relatively harmless — going in the office sweep for Melbourne Cup, buying a scratchy every now and then — but for some people it takes control and ruins their lives.

Here are some of the signs your gambling (or the gambling of someone you care about) is becoming a problem and what you can do about it.

Signs of a gambling problem

Some signs that can indicate gambling addiction:

You can't stop thinking about gambling and always talk to friends about bets, odds, wins and losses.

You can't stop thinking about gambling and always talk to friends about bets, odds, wins and losses. You spend lots of time at venues or using gambling apps at home.

You spend lots of time at venues or using gambling apps at home. You lie about money, not telling anyone what you're doing when you're gambling.

You lie about money, not telling anyone what you're doing when you're gambling. You have no savings or extra cash to do things you want or can't pay bills and are chasing a win to pay off debts.

You have no savings or extra cash to do things you want or can't pay bills and are chasing a win to pay off debts. You feel sick to the stomach after gambling, you're embarrassed by your actions and feel ashamed.

You feel sick to the stomach after gambling, you're embarrassed by your actions and feel ashamed. You go to venues on your own, spending time gambling through apps instead of spending time with family and friends.

Can't stop thinking or talking about gambling

Shayne managed to kick his gambling habit, but it took him about eight years and multiple tries to stop putting money on races and sports.

He now volunteers in a peer support program for gamblers in Victoria and also hosts a free podcast exploring gambling and its related issues.

Shayne says it's the time he has wasted gambling that he most regrets.

"If gambling is consuming most of your thoughts during the day, then that's a really good early sign that things aren't great."

Divyah Sreevardhanan is the team leader with Centrecare Inc in Perth which provides a gambling support service in WA.

She says a sign a friend or loved one might have a problem with gambling is if they talk about it a lot.

"If a person is constantly talking about how much they're winning [that's a warning sign]," she says.

'I took money from my family to gamble'

Sarah-Jane says self-excluding from gambling venues has really helped her get her life back in control. ( Supplied: Sarah-Jane Morgan )

It seems like it should be obvious that losing too much money to gambling is a sign of a problem, but it's subtler than that when you're hooked, says Shayne.

He says he often lost all his money betting and was left wondering how he'd find money to pay for petrol to get to work the next day.

But Shayne says many of the young men he speaks to in his peer support role will pay their bills first and then gamble anything leftover, thinking that's not a problem. He says it can be useful to think about what you're missing out on by losing that extra cash — such as never having a holiday or being able to buy new shoes — because you gambled your cash instead.

Sarah-Jane Morgan realised her use of the pokies had got way out of control when she stole money from family and friends to gamble with.

"I went to gamble because I was bored, or had an emotional breakdown, or something bad had come up," she says.

Sarah-Jane started playing the pokies when she was old enough to go to clubs.

"I think the most I won was about $7,000 in one night," she says.

A couple of years ago she hit rock-bottom when her fiance discovered she'd taken money from him to gamble, and he broke up with her.

"I actually tried to end my life … I thought no-one wants me around anymore, I'm a f*ck up," she says.

"But I'm still going. I've found a new partner, he knows about my past, he knows everything and supports me really well."

Depression and gambling — it's a chicken and egg situation

Associate professor Sally Gainsbury from the Gambling Treatment Research Clinic at the University of Sydney says problem gamblers often have mental health issues like depression.

"The trouble with problem gambling is it affects you very emotionally and mentally as well," she says.

Gambling can often be a form of escape — especially something like pokies with the flashing lights and sounds. If you're feeling bad, the pull to go play a few rounds can be hard to ignore.

And then losing more money to gambling feeds feelings of regret and stress, and it becomes a self-feeding pattern of behaviour that is hard to break.

Dr Gainsbury says if you start feeling bad after gambling, it can be worth reaching out to a support service, even if you don't think it's a big problem yet.

"When you start having regret, when you think, 'Oh, I didn't mean to do that', having that 'oops' moment is an opportunity to catch yourself," she says.

Where to get help Gambling Help Online provides free chat and email counselling and support services for those with problems gambling and family and friends.

Gambling Help Online provides free chat and email counselling and support services for those with problems gambling and family and friends. Or you can phone Gambler's Help on 1800 858 858 anywhere in the country to speak to someone.

Or you can phone Gambler's Help on 1800 858 858 anywhere in the country to speak to someone. Financial Counselling Australia is a not-for-profit, government-funded organisation that provides help to get your finances under control.

Financial Counselling Australia is a not-for-profit, government-funded organisation that provides help to get your finances under control. Gamblers Anonymous hold free meetings across the country.

Gamblers Anonymous hold free meetings across the country. You can exclude yourself from gambling venues, bookmarkers and gambling brokers. Find out how to self-exclude on the Australasian Gaming Council website.

'I couldn't lie anymore'

"Gamblers are fantastic liars," Shayne says.

"Lying to people about why you don't have money, lying to people to get money."

When Shayne realised he couldn't lie to his girlfriend (now his wife) about why he never had any money, he knew he had to quit gambling for good.

Lying to people is a big warning sign your gambling is not healthy. If you're lying about where you're going, how much you've won or lost, it's a sign the gambling is controlling you.

Keeping your gambling a secret is also a form of lying and a sign it's a problem, says Ms Sreevardhanan.

Stopping takes practice and support

Shayne tried to control his gambling on his own many times before he decided to speak to a counsellor about it.

"I was petrified of talking about my problems and I think I was petrified to actually stop," he says.

That first try with a counsellor did help Shayne, but he continued to gamble.

If you use apps to place bets, remove them from your phone to stop temptation. If that's not enough, call the service and have yourself blocked from betting. ( Pexels: Porapak Apichodilok )

It's common for someone with a gambling problem to have relapses.

"I think every time you stop you're taking a step forward. It doesn't matter how soft that move is," Shayne says.

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Sarah-Jane started to get help for her addiction to the pokies in 2016, but she has also had moments of relapse where she went back to gambling, knowing how destructive it can be.

After her relapse, Sarah-Jane called a gambling support helpline and went to a Gamblers Anonymous meeting.

"Since then I've kept moving forward. I don't want to lose what I have."

As well as going to meetings, Sarah-Jane excluded herself from gaming areas in NSW and started a Facebook group with her sponsor to talk with others going through similar struggles.

Finding other ways to destress also helps Sarah-Jane stay away from gambling.

"If I have any worries now, I'll play on my phone or I'll go to my friend's place or go see my sister," she says.

"I've saved up money now … instead of using money to gamble with, I'm using it to go and do something more fun."

Admitting you have a gambling problem and reaching out for help is never easy to do, but Sarah-Jane and Shayne know that if you just keep pushing forward, you can put gambling behind you and find a better life.

This article contains general information only. You should obtain specific, independent professional advice in relation to your particular circumstances and issues.