Maternity leave in the USA is an absolute joke for most people. It’s not nearly long enough, it pays squat (if at all), and it most certainly is not a vacation. While I was at least blessed enough to be able to afford taking 11 partially-paid weeks off (I am a teacher; you’d think the state would value family and their teachers more,but that’s for another time), a lot of people don’t even get this.

In addition, when I did return, one of the most popular questions I received was “Did you enjoy your break?” My exhausted self would usually reply with ” Definitely ” or a forced smile and “Yes, thank you.” Truthfully , I did enjoy my time away from work, but, equally truthfully, it was by no means a “break”. I was flat exhausted from healing my torn ….area…., breastfeeding nonstop (with painful thrush for the first 3 weeks), incredible lack of sleep, parenting a hyper 3 year old who has been pretty much housebound and stir crazy, and doing a crazy amount of laundry -especially since my newborn had bad reflux and would spend 20 minutes on the boob, throw it all up everywhere, and then be hungry again. On top of this, I maintained my normal household duties.

In fact, I found an old Facebook post I had written that pretty much sums up maternity leave life:

Fell asleep on the couch for 30 minutes.

Karma: living room an epic disaster, bathroom an epic disaster, smiling 3 year old greeting me with shampoo and lotion covering her entire body and hair.

Bathe the 3 yo ( who is having a meltdown because she hates baths and we just did this this morning) while juggling the almost two month old. Clean up rooms. Feed 3 yo. Deep breath and turn on TV for 3 yo.

2 month old poops through diaper, clothes onto my clothes and couch and is still dripping. Gross. Quickly, gently, frantically place her on towel on floor and begin stripping myself and her. Get her changed. Begin a load of laundry.

Deep breath. Sit on couch and think about what I can eat… Screaming 2 month old (who has just been quite roughly baby handled) and 3 yo covered from nose to fingers in sauce. Start feeding 2 month old; instruct 3 yo to wash face and hands. Don’t play in the sink. Paper towels are right there. No, there. Where they always are, baby.

2 month old throws up milk all over me and herself and the couch. Fling her quickly, gently, frantically back onto towel on floor. Begin stripping us both down again and cleaning up couch.

Deep breath. Remember that I’m blessed and soooo grateful for my babies and for being able to stay home on leave. ❤ Now, seriously, what to eat…

So, the next time we see a mother return from maternity break, give her a pan of lasagna and tell her she looks amazing. She thoroughly enjoyed her “break.” She loves her baby so much and misses him/her so much it hurts. She’s also exhausted and starving. She is returning from a battlefield of poo, vomit, milk, and sweat (yay hormones). She needs shelter and sustenance. Feed the beautiful soldier and maybe see if you can lessen any burdens she may have at home or work. She’ll be grateful.