If the theory of evolution offers us anything it is that all males have an in‑built, almost uncontrollable instinct to procreate. This particular force of nature appears to be so strong that it can deliver the most successful of men into the arms of, among others, Jennifer Thompson, the 21-year-old who entrapped Wayne Rooney last year. When the crux of the theory hinges on the current generation improving on the last then I suppose occasionally even nature is flawed.

So, here we are, another week and another player falls foul of a kiss‑and‑tell story. "Thank goodness for the super injunction," says Player X. But do we even care? Do you get to the end of a tabloid story along those lines and think: "I really enjoyed reading that"? Probably not, I'd guess. If Charles Darwin were still around, perhaps he could also offer us a clue as to what drives our insatiable appetite for celebrity gossip.

I haven't played at a club which hasn't had a player caught out by his wife or girlfriend. Nor have I met a Wag – a term which, incidentally, nobody in football uses – who knows that the life she enjoys, which is provided by her husband, would be waiting for her elsewhere should she choose to leave him.

I know wives that have walked in on a player in full swing, gone shopping, come home and had his dinner on the table as if nothing had happened. And I know plenty of wives who simply cannot do without a designer wardrobe, two weeks in Dubai and half of Tiffany's every Christmas and birthday, and so turn a blind eye to promiscuous behaviour. This amicable agreement that dare not speak its name only becomes a problem when the media get hold of it.

The point is that if a player's wife needs her man to maintain a certain lifestyle, then the general rule of thumb is that things are brushed under the carpet as quickly as possible, if indeed there ever was a genuine grievance to begin with. We can all name those that the last sentence applies to. The exception is when a wife no longer needs the player or she discovers the words self and respect and puts them together, as was the case with Cheryl Cole.

For my own part, I have no desire to inflict any of this torment on my wife and am happy to record that I am very content with my own situation. It should also be pointed out that I have seen things that would frighten me to death, were I tempted to think otherwise, including the antics of two team-mates who make a very good double act, and I'm not talking about their partnership on the field.

Always out together, they bring untold riches back to hotels and have what might be described, by some, as a very pleasant evening. I know this because another player filmed them and showed everyone. If ever I needed another example of why it is not a good idea to mess around as a married man, it was presented to me on a screen three inches by four and in remarkable clarity. When one of the protagonists was confronted with it he laughed his head off. I would hate to see what scares him.

It's no great secret why footballers are so sought-after for a quick one between the sheets. They are seen as a trophy among certain girls, including some of the groupies that I see hanging around outside the training ground and try to avoid like the plague. Some women seem deluded enough to think they may end up happily ever after, while others appear happy with the idea that a one‑night stand with a footballer is a notch on their belt as well as the player's.

So what is in it for the married player? After all, the risk and reward are completely out of sync with each other – so much to lose for the sake of five minutes of lust. That's the theory. The reality is that many will get off on the idea that you can sit down with a stunning woman and she'll hang on your every word, laugh at the worst jokes as if you're a stand-up comedian and be impressed when the champagne bottles keep arriving. In short, a player can have his ego stroked relentlessly and get his leg over believing that nine times out of 10 he'll get away with it.

I've also started to think there is another possible reason for the scale of infidelity among footballers, other than the obvious absence of a moral compass, and that is that far too many players get married at a very young age. Lots of footballers have childhood sweethearts – best footballer gets together with prettiest girl at the school syndrome – and have kids with them before they have had the chance to "sow their oats" or "play the field".

Yet further down the road, when a player begins to earn the big bucks, that's when the temptations really start. I see a situation occasionally unfold where young players and their girlfriends arrive at the club, barely able to hold a conversation with anyone else at first and untouched by the football lifestyle. Within a few years the kids are with a nanny, the wife is on the phone to the travel agents every five minutes and the player is in a hotel room licking Cristal off a … well, you get the idea.

So what can we conclude from all of this? A couple of things: that my daughter will be told to stay away from footballers and that Darwin's prediction that "light will be thrown on the origin of man and his history" never took into account the super injunction.

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