Remember Andrew Dice Clay? He was big in the ’80s. He made jokes about choking his wife unconscious during sex, and killing homosexuals and immigrants. He delivered lines like, “Women are always looking for someone to treat them like the pigs they are,” and the audience went wild.

In a 1991 review, critic Roger Ebert describes Clay’s audience like this:

You never see anyone just plain laughing, as if they’d heard something that was funny. You see, instead, behavior more appropriate at a fascist rally, as his fans stick their fists in the air and chant his name as if he were making some kind of statement for them…

Who were these Dice fanatics? You’d expect them to be mostly male, but they weren’t. Women loved him — except for a few malcontent bitches like Sinead O’Connor, who couldn’t take a joke. (She cancelled her appearance on SNL in May of 1990 because she refused to appear on the same show as Andrew Dice Clay.) Relax, Sinead. Don’t be so uptight. You know you want it.

If you were a woman in the ’80s and you didn’t laugh at boys being boys, you were never going to get yourself a husband. In 1986, the cover story of Newsweek struck terror when it predicted that single, 40-year-old women had a better chance of being killed by a terrorist than getting married. Other news publications Paul Revere’d the message and panic swept the ‘80s.

Single women were presented with two choices: You were either marriage material (compliant and fun, a go-along gal!) or you were one of those militant ERA lesbian types doomed to die in a one-bedroom with your cats.

Besides, Andrew Dice Clay claimed his “face down, ass up” misogyny was all an act; the Diceman was just a character. The real Andy didn’t hate women and immigrants and would never tell gay kids to kill themselves. Except “Andy” wasn’t the first comedian in history to sell out Madison Square Garden two nights in a row — the Diceman did that. A journalist in a 1990 Washington Post article said Clay deserved more pity than scorn because his “comedy of hate” came from deep insecurity. We should feel sorry for him. After all, Clay went on Arsenio Hall’s talk show and cried. Poor guy. I hope someone gave him a hug after that.

Look, I get it. I was 20 years old in 1990. After my boyfriend punched me in the eye, he cried too. I held him until he felt better. I told friends I’d stupidly walked into the corner of an open cabinet. Because, like the Washington Post in 1990, I understood it was my job to help men feel better about themselves. It was my job to understand that their gross, abusive language was just locker room talk. Most men don’t mean to hit us or rape us or verbally abuse us. They don’t really want gay people strung up and hung. It’s just a macho act, you know? Like the Diceman. Besides, if women don’t like that sort of thing, why do they go for guys like that? Or vote them into office? Or make them Supreme Court justices?

The lesson? All you uptight bitches need to take a chill pill.

The Anita Hill hearing was my first encounter with overt feminism. I was 21. I listened as she testified and was vilified by the all-male Senate Judiciary Committee and the media. America didn’t believe her. In a 1991 New York Times article, one woman explains why she doubts Anita Hill: “She might have thought some of this stuff up in her head. Women have a tendency to do that sometimes.” Others brushed her off as an embarrassing spectacle. So what if her boss talked to her about porn, bestiality, and pubic hairs. Relax, Anita. Don’t be so uptight. You know you want it.

Anita Hill is sworn-in before testifying at the 1991 Senate Judiciary hearing on the Clarence Thomas Supreme Court nomination. Photo: Bettmann/Getty Images

I was working as a receptionist. A mid-level manager made a habit of bringing his wife’s underwear to work and showing them to me. He carried them in his suit pocket. He’d linger at my desk describing that morning’s copulation. I’d respond in ways the ’80s taught me: Laugh and roll your eyes or make a maternal tsk-tsk face.

Besides, Anita Hill lost. Clarence Thomas was confirmed. The lesson? All you uptight bitches need to take a chill pill. Men like to have a little fun. No harm in that, is there? All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.