Sunanda was very irritated with the way Pratik from the HR team behaved with her. She stormed into the cabin of her manager Kunal and almost yelled 'I have worked 3 years for this company and I deserve to be treated in a better way'.

Kunal was calm as ever, he offered her to sit and said 'Relax Sunanda, take it easy. What's going on?'

Sunanda was beyond herself she continued to pant heavily and said 'Pratik is treating me as if I am new to this company. It doesn't matter if I am serving my notice period, I have worked hard for this company and the company needs to treat me equally well. I am going to escalate this to the senior management and also mention it in my Exit interview but I just thought that you should know...Sunanda barely completed her sentence and tears started to flow over her cheek. She started crying hysterically in front of Kunal, her manager.

Kunal was hardly moved, he was a seasoned professional with more than 15 years of experience behind him, he had encountered several similar situations in the past where women employees had cried in front of him. He offered her tissues and a glass of water. In few minutes Sunanda salvaged her composure. When she came to meet Kunal she was very angry with the HR but now she was a little irritated with herself because she cried in front of her manager. Kunal went on to ask few pointed questions and when he understood the matter completely he picked up the phone and called in Pratik. It took him hardly 15 minutes to get everything sorted out between Sunanda and Pratik. He was able to resolve this quickly because the matter was not too serious and Kunal had all the experience in the world to manage such situations. But just imagine what would have happened if Kunal was not ready to manage such situation? It would have certainly resulted in a grand chaotic situation and drama at workplace.

The above example makes us think what would we do if we were in place of Sunanda or Kunal?

If you were Sunanda...

What would have you done differently to handle your emotions?

Do you think it is right for the women to cry at workplace?

If you were Kunal but with no prior experience of handling women employees crying in front of you...

How would you react?

What would you do or say to make her feel better?

These questions do not have a straight forward answer and different people may behave and respond differently in these situations. As we grow in experience we find our own styles and ways to react and respond.

Honestly, it is not just women who cry at workplace, there are scenarios where men too can get emotional at workplace. Few common scenarios include:

Salary increment not as per expectation

Promotion denied

Escalation or Complaint from a senior manager/ boss/ customer

Argument with a co-worker

Having said that here are few tips that professionals should keep in mind for managing these situations...

1. Don't worry if you feel emotional. Getting emotional is a natural process and it may happen with both males and females. Find out ways and means to avoid or get control of yourself.

2. Prepare yourself mentally before a difficult conversation. If required go to the washroom, look in the mirror and rehearse.

3. Avoid crying or being out of control. Speak slowly and take sufficient pauses while you speak. Use the count to 10 rule to take long pauses.

4. In general, people see crying as a sign of weak personality, hence don't get carried away with emotions. Your boss or employee is not your spouse, make sure you use the right set of words and use the right body language.

5. Find an alternate way to de-stress yourself. For example, find a close relative or friend (not related to your work) who can listen to your side of the story before you go and talk to your manager or supervisor. In the above example, it might have helped Sunanda if she had avoided coming directly to Kunal and yelling in front of him. She could have first spoken to someone else and destressed herself.

If you are in the role of a manager you may feel awkward if an employee starts crying in front of you, but there is no need to panic or feel guilty unless you have done anything wrong. In high work pressure environments these things are not uncommon. To become a successful professional one needs to have a rational approach, that doesn't mean you throw empathy out of the window. What is needed is the skill and ability to strike the right balance between logical and emotional approach.

To conclude, I strongly suggest that professionals both women and men should avoid being emotional at workplace. Because if you do, you may get branded in a 'not so good' way which in turn may not help you in your career growth.

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this post are the personal views of the author. They do not necessarily reflect the views of Momspresso.com. Any omissions or errors are the author's and Momspresso does not assume any liability or responsibility for them.

