On Thursday night’s edition of “The Colbert Report,” host Stephen Colbert examined some things that President Barack Obama may have left out of his autobiography and that the liberal media doesn’t want to know. For example, did you know the president used to be a gay man on Mars?

“The thing is, folks,” said Colbert, “everything about Barack Obama is kind of suspicious.” Although, sadly, not as suspicious as he used to be. “In the good old days,” he said, “We had a new Obama scandal every week.” One week he was a secret Muslim and the next he doesn’t have a birth certificate and was “trained by Josef Stalin, Jeremiah Wright and General Grievous.”

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“It seems we’ve run out of ways to make Obama a ‘menacing other,'” said the host, “Until tonight.”

Then, in a segment called “This Changes Everything,” Colbert introduced viewers to Andrew D. Basiago, a Washington state lawyer who claims to have been one of the first 100 children enrolled in “Project Pegasus” in 1969, when he was 9 years old. “Project Pegasus,” says Basiago, was a top secret teleportation research program.

Basiago claims to have started out by teleporting between New Jersey and New Mexico, but eventually ranged as far as the planet Mars. Shockingly, he revealed that one of his classmates in the teleportation program was none other than President Obama, with whom he traveled to Mars and worked on the surface of the planet.

Colbert consulted actor William Shatner to learn more. Shatner said that he believes that teleportation exists.

Basiago would certainly agree. He claims that Obama was his roommate at Mars camp for a summer.

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“You don’t forget your roommate when you’re enrolled in a secret space program for the CIA,” he told Colbert.

Colbert then turned to the works of Jerome Corsi for more answers. Corsi, author of The Obama Nation, and one of the leading lights of the “Birther” movement, maintains that Obama wore a wedding ring in some photos even before he was married because wedding rings are “a homosexual symbol for women to stay away because he’s married in a same sex marriage to his roommate boyfriend.”

“The only possible conclusion was that Obama was gay married to Andrew…on Mars,” said Colbert.

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Watch the clip, embedded via Comedy Central, below: