Chapter 5: The Sight of Your Past

It was now currently nightfall, Subaru, Otto, Beatrice, Emilia, Rem, Ram, Garfiel, and Lewes were waiting outside the tomb, now that its night time, it looks more like a tomb and has an eerie feeling to it, the trials were about to commence.

"So, you ready for this Emilia? You can always wait till tomorrow to do it you know?"

She was quite nervous, this would be her first actual achievement for the royal election, "Hmm, no, we can't keep them all waiting, their all counting on me, I'm just a little nervous that's all, Puck hasn't shown up in a while and it's making me really anxious, I feel like I'm leaning on you too much Subaru"

"It's alright Emilia, I'll always be there to help out!" he shoots her a thumbs up.

She takes a deep breath, "Huuh, alright let's do this!" She looks back, "Wish me luck!"

"Yeah, we know you can do it!"

"Destroy that thing, I suppose"

"Rem believes in you"

"Tch, jus get it over with already..."

"Ram has faith in you Emilia-sama"

"Go get em..."

They all turned to Otto who hadn't said anything, "Uhm... you musn't let us down?"

Their train of motivation was stopped with Otto's hesitance, some of the went 'Ugh' while others sighed, though Emilia looked confused.

"That wasn't at all motivational Otto..."

"It would've been better for you to keep your mouth shut, I suppose..." Subaru and Beatrice spoke up.

"W-What! At least I tried, come on!" Otto protested.

Seeing their usual friendly interaction, Emilia started laughing, Subaru put on a victorious smile and raised his palm to Beatrice, at first she was confused but she understood what he wanted, she slapped her own palm on his, doing a splendid high-five.

"Ugh... you guys set me up for that didn't you..." Otto said dejectedly.

"Yep, you didn't see it coming"

"A person like you is best suited for this, I suppose"

After some more laughs, they all got serious and Emilia finally entered the tomb, the lights flashed on when she entered signaling that she was currently undertaking the trials.

A few minutes have past and everyone was now either sitting down or somewhere else, Subaru repeatedly checked on the tomb, looking very anxious.

"Yer lookin a bit down there..."

"Huh, just a bit worried..."

"Yer worries not necessary, I myself hef taken them trials, and I'm still fine an kickin, though didn really pass em"

.

Ten minutes past and it was uneventful, Otto was conversing with Lewes about Sanctuary.

Subaru sat with Beatrice, Rem, and Garfiel, he told them more stories from his place of origin, at some point, Rem came in close and leaned on him, resting her head on his shoulder, he didn't mind, though he got a death glare from Ram and Garfiel looked surprised.

.

Twenty minutes in, still nothing, Ram had already left to check on Roswaal and Lewes went to take care of some things.

Otto was laying on a nearby tree, talking with the wild animals.

Garfiel was talking with Rem, most likely about Ram.

Subaru and Beatrice were now looking at the stars, trying to see if he could find some constellations that he was familiar with, but sadly, there were none.

"You know Beako, my parents named me after a star or is it a constellation..."

"Subaru is a constellation, I suppose?"

"My parents were always pretty creative when it came to finding names..."

"I wonder how Subaru's parents look like, I suppose..."

When he heard her say he suddenly got sad, Beatrice noticed this and looks towards him, "Did Betty say something wrong?"

"No... haah, it's just, I really do miss my parents, don't think I'll see them for a long while... I hope their doing fine"

"Seeing that their your parents, they're probably struggling with everyday life, I suppose"

.

Thirty minutes in, everyone was gathered, waiting.

"Does, it usually take this long?"

"Well, no werns taken it recently actually, so we got nothin to compare the time with"

"The length of the first trial depends on how much regret you have for something you have done in your past, I suppose, the more regret, the harder it would be to accept and thus, the longer it takes to complete the trials"

They waited a bit longer until suddenly, the lights started flickering, everyone was taken by surprise, well all but Subaru that is.

"Um, is that supposed to happen?"

"No! Them lights supposed to turn on the whole time!"

"The trials malfunctioning?! I wonder"

"Then that's bad!"

Without warning, Subaru dashed forward and plunged straight into the tomb. They all, with the exception of Beatrice tried to grab him, but they were too slow, he had already jumped in.

.

"It's no use, I suppose"

Everyone was panicking as they looked at Beatrice, "Had you restrained him, he would have just used Shamak and got in any way..."

Beatrice walks up to the tomb and looks down, "Good luck with the trials, I suppose" She said under her breath, no one heard her.

"Emilia! You alright?"

Subaru called out as he entered the dark and dusty tomb, it was dark but the moonlight that fell on the tomb made the interior barely visible. Grey stone walls and dark hallway, now that he got a good look at it, it was very spacious. He continued down the hallway until he reached a chamber, inside, he saw a slumbering Emilia.

He runs up to her, but then...

First, face your regretful past...

He heard a voice say, it was his voice, the next thing he knew he dropped to the floor and blacked out.

...

*Bzzzzz... Bzzzzz... Bzz- Smack*

He reflexively slammed his arm on the alarm clock on the table beside his bed. He grabbed his sheets and pulls them over him, going back to sleep.

.

...

.

"Wait a minute... EMILIA!"

He sprung back up, and surveyed the room he was currently in, he expected himself to be in the trial room but instead, he was in a different room, a rather familiar room.

"M-My room?"

He is suddenly standing in his old bedroom, confused he started looking around the room, opening drawers, looking at the cover of books, closing and opening closet doors.

"Was... that all just... No this is the trial, isn't it... It has to be..."

He was startled for a moment, he thought for a second there that all he's been through was just a dream, he opened up his shirt and looked at his chest, several scars were present, "Those were definitely not dreams..."

He took another good look around the room and saw that it was in shambles, "Man... I never did try to clean my room... might as well do it for once..."

After giving that remark to himself, he started tidying up his room, folding the sheets, stacking up his Mangas and Light Novels, picking up clothes from the floor and putting them in his usually empty laundry basket.

Having finished that he did some stretches, even though he didn't feel sleepy, it was just a habit of doing it every morning with the villagers. As he was doing his stretches, he thought about what to do.

"Accept or reject something... then that means..."

He heard a sigh from the other side of his door, and then a knock. He was suddenly all tensed up, "C-Come in!" he said.

From behind the door he heard a light gasp, "So you decided to finally get up on time, well looks like we won't have fun this morning..." the doorknob turned and in came a man, about half a head taller than Subaru, he wore glasses and had an almost identical hairstyle to him, he looked extremely fit and it seems like he was missing a shirt.

"Hey... Dad..."

"I was hoping to wrestle you out of bed bu... W-What!" As he entered the room, his mouth dropped down, never has he saw Subaru's room clean in the morning, his bed was made and his laundry basket was filled.

"D-Did you a-actually..."

"Geez, yeah I cleaned my room, so what? Man, dad go get a shirt, is mom downstairs? I'm gonna go eat breakfast okay?"

"ah...e...a..."

Giving his stunned father a pat on the shoulders, he left the room and walked down the hallway, his mom came up from the stairs and smiled at him, "You finally woke up on your own, I'm proud of you Subaru, breakfast is ready if you want to bring it up to your room"

A woman, with long brown hair, greeted him. She had sharp eyes, they were what you can describe as an evil gaze, though deep in her head, he wasn't really thinking about anything in particular.

"Yeah thanks, mom, I'll have breakfast at the table" he went down the stairs, his mother watches him in amazement as he trots down the steps, she looks to the hallway and sees her husband staring at her direction, his face should panic and fear.

"Something wrong dear?"

"Naoko, come look at this now!"

.

He heard muffled screams from the top floor as he entered the kitchen. He took out a bottle of mayonnaise from the fridge that was labeled S and sat down at the dining table.

"It makes no sense why you haven't given up on me..."

He looks straight at the mayonnaise bottle and opens the cap, "It's been too long my white maiden..." he takes a sip on the bottle and savors the taste.

"I... can't believe it... Rem's mayo is better..."

Suddenly he heard strong footsteps coming from the stairs, from the door frame appeared his parents, looking at him with terrified eyes, "S-Subaru..."

"Yeah, what is it?" he drank a glass of water.

"Y-Your not... considering suicide are you.. son?"

PPPFFFTTT

He spat out the water in his mouth and turned to his parents, "Is that the conclusion you ended up with!? Come on dad, I just cleaned my room, what's the big deal, if anything, you should be filled with happy thoughts, not... suicide..."

He got up from his chair and grabbed a cloth from the kitchen drawer, he went over to the table and cleaned up the water he spilled from his mouth. His parents just stared at him awestruck, they were utterly confused at what had happened to their son.

"If you stay like that, your breakfast is gonna get cold ya know?"

Snapping out of their trance, they approached him slowly, sitting down on their respective seats on the dining table and ate their breakfast.

.

They have finished eating breakfast and Subaru was doing the dishes, something he has never done in a long time, "Hah, when was the last time you did the dishes, six years ago? Surprised you still remember how to do it!"

They had a little laugh, "Yeah, last time I did them was when I still thought my life was worth something..."

"Huh? I've been meaning to ask this, though never got the chance... why did you suddenly shut yourself away that day, I mean nothing really happened, not that I can think of anyway..."

"Dad... let's go for a walk, not really comfortable talking about that here"

He voices his request as he finishes with the last of the dishes, his dad nods and goes off to wear something more appropriate, Subaru went to his own room and does the same, he just noticed that he was on his pajamas.

After a few minutes they left the house, it was a windy day and the autumn leaves were falling, "So, talk to me"

Subaru stopped in his tracks and looked down and said with a firm voice, "Why do you still love me..."

.

.

.

.

Silence invaded for a few minutes, "I don't think I-"

"You heard it loud and clear dad, but just in case..." He looks at him in the eye, "Why do you still love me..."

"That's a silly question, Subaru..."

Subaru walked over to a wall and leaned on it, "I've enclosed myself, distanced myself from everyone, cramped myself in my room, skipped school, wasted away doing nothing productive... I wanted you to hate me... so that when I do something wrong, you wouldn't be disappointed, so that when I make a mistake, no one will say, Oh but isn't that Kenichi's son? I tried my best, so why didn't you just leave me, why are you and mom still holding on to this piece of trash, this... worthless piece of trash..." his voice was a little bit shaky, tears now forming in the corner of his eyes.

"Huh, well if your gonna want to make me hate you your gonna have to try a lot harder than that, say burn down the whole city while killing half the civilians, do that and I might just feel a little hatred for you"

"That's insane, no ones got the guts to do that!"

"And I'm telling you that what you told me was also insane, hehe"

He sighs and wipes the tears away from his eyes, "Hah, it must be a pain in the ass being a parent, huh..."

"Especially when my son acts the way he acts, haha"

Subaru laughed with him, he got off from the wall and approached his dad, he gave him a strong hug, "I love you dad..."

"Right back at you son" He was going to embrace him but suddenly Subaru slid down and his arms missed him.

"I know that trap, I can learn from my mistakes you know"

"Hahaha, you got me"

.

They continued walking, chatting away, throughout their walk, they only saw one other person, it was an older man, an acquaintance of his dad, out of all the people he knew from his neighborhood, this person was the one that he was most familiar with, other than his parents.

They talked a bit, him giving Subaru a short story of how his father was when he was younger, they waved to him as they entered the local park.

"So, Subaru... what made you want to change?"

He looked up at the early morning sky, very faint stars from the previous night can be seen, "Well, you could say that I met some people who've changed my life..."

"Huuh, has my son met his woman yet!? Hey, If she's from your school, I might have her address"

"Shut it, dad... seriously, you're already married, why do you need email addresses of high school girls?"

"You never know when you might need some help, and the more people you know the more help you can get, simple"

"No fair using that excuse... they're not from school anyway..."

"So? Who's this special person?"

"People, not just one person... I've met someone that gave my life a goal to strive for, a person I want to help achieve their dream, I've met someone that gave my life value to take pride in, that person would stay by my side, regardless of how worthless I am, and I met someone that gave my life a reason, a person that needed me more than anything... pretty complicated relationships actually..."

(Note: He's referring to Emilia, Rem, and Betty in that order)

"Tight spot, well that's your own business so I shouldn't really interfere with that..."

.

Subaru was in front of his house, his dad had gone to walk a little longer so this left him and his mom in the house. He walked in and went to the kitchen, "You know, it's not nice taking someone else's mayo bottle, you know?"

His mother was beside the fridge, holding a bottle labeled K, they each had their own set of bottles, though his mom had finished hers. "And where have you been?" Completely ignoring his statement she asked him this while still sucking out the contents of the mayonnaise bottle.

"Been with dad outside, talked about some stuff, also met 'that' guy during our walk..."

He went over to the fridge and grabbed his own bottle of mayonnaise and finished it in one go, "And that's number seven hundred and seventy-seven!" He slams it on the table.

"Congratulations Subaru, oh, this reminds me of the time your dad got four sevens, good times..."

"Heh, his love for mayo is on a whole different level"

Subaru's parents, just like him, have an attachment to mayonnaise, though Subaru has been nicknamed the mayonnaise menace, his parents would be dubbed, the mayonnaise monster. Their love for mayonnaise is so great it's almost terrifying.

"Hey mom, do you know where my school uniform is?"

"Yeah but I'm not gonna tell you where it is, your planning on burning it right!"

"What? No, I'm thinking about going to school, it's been about a year and I think it's time I made a comeback"

She rushes to him and grabs his shoulders, "Are you feeling alright, did your dad hit your head too hard or something while you were out?!"

"Ugh, no... I just suddenly feel like going to school, you know? Nothing to worry about..."

"Oh... alright then..."

They went up to his room and she opened up his closet, from deep within she pulled out a t-shirt and a pair of pants, she gave them to him and left the room to allow him to change.

.

"Hmm, not exactly nostalgic..." he murmured to himself as he looks at the mirror, he had the dark blue t-shirt on with a red tie, it was a classic school uniform so there's not much to describe.

He got out of his room and went downstairs, where he found his mom, wearing a coat and holding onto her purse, it seemed like she was waiting for him, "You going somewhere?"

"Of course, I'll be accompanying you part-way because I've run out of mayo"

"Ugh... right then, better get going..."

He set off for school with his mom accompanying him, no one was outside, even for an afternoon on a weekday, it was pretty scarce.

"It's been a while since we've walked like this, Subaru"

"Really, I kinda feel like we do it pretty often when I'm gone to the convenience store"

"Yeah... but you always go at night, don't you?"

He always did go at night, he wanted to avoid too much attention so it would be the best choice. "So, did your conversation with dad make want to go to school?"

"Hmm, only a part of it I guess... our long talk kinda got me thinking about my ridiculous thoughts back then"

"Oh, then you decided to act less like dad right?"

"Uh... yeah I guess..."

"You've always thought that if you did you wouldn't disappoint us right?"

"Yeah... W-Wait... how did..."

Subaru stops in his tracks, his mom looks back, "I'm not sure if you know Subaru, but mom has been keeping a very watchful eye on you, all the time actually"

"..."

"Even though I kept my eye on you, it seemed like I couldn't do anything to avoid it, though it looks like someone did something that we couldn't do to you, so I'm really happy, I really should thank them..."

"Huuh... yeah their great people, kind of a waste that they helped me..."

"Even though, you're not just going to throw them away cause your not worthy are you?"

"Definitely not, haha... if I'm not worthy of them, I'll just raise my worth..."

They continued walking, his mom was now looking at him, "Huuh, you really are his son..."

"Am I really completely his son?"

"Well half of you came from me, so your half his son and half mine. If you were completely him then your mom's head would be spinning round"

"Let's not talk about that..."

.

They went on, the convenience store was now in sight, "Ok this is mom's stop, will you be alright? Not gonna do anything crazy to yourself right?"

"Nope, can't go doing things like that when I just left my room..."

"Huuh, I see then, good luck!" She turns around and goes down her path towards the convenience store, Subaru's destination was the other side so this is where they part ways, this was his last goodbye, and it was going to be a really long one.

"... Hey Mom!"

She stops and turns to face him, her facing seemed to be saying 'What?', the picture of his mother, he burnt it into his eyelids so that he would never forget her.

"I might not be back for a long while... I'm going to a real far place and I can't really promise if anything bad is not going to happen... it's just, I didn't want to worry you and dad so much..."

She walks up to him, "It's alright Subaru, mom can see that it's really hard to word it out so you don't need to, I already know what it means, I am your mother after all"

"Heh... I wish I had gone out earlier..."

"It doesn't matter whether you went out years ago, now or out years later, as long as you smile in the end, it doesn't really matter right? It's the end, the result that matters"

"..."

He was struck with the sudden realization, she's right, that was how Subaru was doing it this whole time, he suffered at the beginning, suffered part-way, but in the end, he was able to reach the results he wanted, he was able to smile and laugh with everyone.

"Oh, one more thing..." She walks up to him and gives him a big hug, "Can't hug you when your far away so I'll do it now"

Tears were forming in his eyes as he returned the hug, this was the last they would see of each other, for a very, very long time.

"I'm pathetic crying like this..." he said while releasing his mother.

"If crying is pathetic, then everyone would be since all baby's cry ya know?"

He waved his hands high in the air as he said his final goodbye, somewhere on a building, a figure was watching him, shadows leaked from its body as the world slowly fades away.

A/N

Another biggish chapter, don't know why but it was easy to make so I finished it early. I've decided to update systematically, one chapter for this and one chapter for warlock, I'll try at least one chapter from each in a week. HYPE!

Leave some reviews, why not?

Upload speeds may differ, hope you don't mind...