Bob Frey is a Republican running for the Minnesota House of Representatives, and he's worried about the economic cost of sodomy. He's not against gay people, mind you — the problem, he explained yesterday, has to do with the way sperm burns our anal cavities. Here's his theory.


It turns out that Frey has a longstanding theory that sperm extrude a "burning" enzyme that's only neutralized when the sperm meets an egg. When sperm are running around loose in somebody's anus, they burn everything and cause AIDS. According to Raw Story's David Edwards, Frey said:

It's more about sodomy than about pigeonholing a lifestyle. When you have egg and sperm that meet in conception, there's an enzyme in the front that burns through the egg. The enzyme burns through so the DNA can enter the egg ... [But when the] sperm is deposited anally ... it's the enzyme that causes the immune system to fail. That's why the term is AIDS – acquired immunodeficiency syndrome.


As a science fiction fan, I like this theory. But I feel like it needs to be fleshed out more. I'm curious about what happens to all the sperm that don't meet up with eggs during vaginal sex. Also, I would like to know whether swallowing sperm after oral sex causes ulcers.

It's actually possible that Frey learned about this theory from his son Mike, who offered this testimony against gay marriage last year.

Mike elucidates some aspects of the theory that I was wondering about earlier. Apparently, there is a "barrier" around vaginal cells that prevents them from being burned by sperm enzymes.