“Tell me about her.”

Chloe stopped in her tracks. They had just about reached the summit where the base of the lighthouse still stood; an empty shell overlooking the bay. Their trek up the hill together was spent mostly in silence. She was not expecting to be discussing this particular subject today, though she knew it would come eventually. In truth, she wasn’t sure if she knew what her feelings really were. She turned to face Max but found she couldn’t hold her gaze.

Max’s expression softened.

“Please?”

It had been almost a month since the storm came through and levelled the town of Arcadia Bay. David, who had weathered the storm in the Dark Room along with several ABPD Officers, thought it would be a good idea for the girls to come back to the lighthouse where they had witnessed the destruction of Arcadia Bay first hand. I know a little something about traumatic experiences, he had said. Now that the roads are clear it might be good for you both to go back there. Maybe you’ll get some closure. If only he knew, Chloe thought. Neither she or Max were in any kind of position to argue as the clearing efforts in the town proper had more or less stopped and there was no where else left for them to volunteer their time at. The initial rescue efforts after the storm passed had turned into a token affair when it quickly became clear to all involved that everyone who was going to be rescued, had already been rescued. What’s more, the remaining survivors had stopped talking about rebuilding the town before the rubble clearing efforts even began. In less than a month since the storm, the ruins of Arcadia Bay had fallen dark and silent. Max and Chloe, with nothing left to do to distract themselves, followed suit.

“Fucking David”, Chloe muttered. “What the Hell are we even doing here, Max? I was creeped the fuck out just getting here, and now that we’re here it’s ten times worse. This is bullshit.”

“It’s hella bullshit”, Max said.

Chloe smirked. “That still doesn’t sound right coming from you.”

“That’s because I’m making fun of you, you nork.”

Chloe’s smirk widened into a grin. “Fun fact. If it wasn’t for Rachel I probably would have never started using that word.”

“Ah, so we have her to blame for this travesty of language.”

Max shared Chloe’s grin but the few moments of levity passed as Max noticed Chloe’s grin begin to falter. Wordlessly, she offered her hand to Chloe, who gladly accepted it into her own. They continued forward hand-in-hand until they reached the bench at the top of the hill. They carefully avoided the freshly eroded cliff edge before taking a seat and noted that the bench itself appeared not to have suffered any damage from the storm whatsoever. For a brief moment they could almost forget there ever was a storm. That is, as long as they ignored the rest of the debris and the fact that the lighthouse behind where they sat was now nothing more than a suggestion.

Chloe felt her pockets for a pack of cigarettes that wasn’t there. Sighing, she said,

“The first time we talked properly was at a concert. She actually saved me from a beating by two skeevy dudes that night, but that’s a whole other story. I mean, I had seen her in class and stuff, on the rare occasion I still went to class, but the thought of her and I becoming friends wasn’t even on my freaking radar. It’s a cliche, but on paper we were from two different worlds; She was the universally beloved straight “A” student and I was the angry misfit no one knew what to do with.”

Chloe leaned forward on the bench and looked out across the bay where the sun was beginning to set. The golden hour, she remembered Max telling her, once upon a time.

“The reality was different, of course. We were like two peas in a pod, as my mom used to say.”

Max winced slightly at the mention of Joyce.

“I was lost and alone”, Chloe continued. “I had convinced myself that I was ok with that. It was my choice. But Rachel, she...she came crashing into my life and completely upended it. She made me face the fact that I wasn’t ok being alone.”

Chloe leaned back on the bench again and gave Max a sidelong glance.

“She basically gave me no choice but to give a shit about her and wouldn’t rest until she was satisfied that I cared about myself the same way.”

“Wowser. She really does sound amazing.”

“She is…..was.” Chloe’s hands began to fidget.

“That’s how it started, anyway. It wasn’t always roses in the fucking garden, but we usually found a way back to being cool with each other. Knowing what I know now I realise she obviously wasn’t giving me all of her attention.”

She held up her thumb and index finger a few millimeters apart and, for emphasis, squinted at Max through the gap. “Seems there may have been a teensy bit of willful ignorance on my part.”

Shrugging, she added, “I guess I must have figured if I didn’t see it, it didn’t happen, you know what I mean?”

“I definitely do,” Max sighed.

After a few moments Chloe stood up again and walked forward just enough to see the entirety of what remained of the town below. From this vantage she could still make out some individual plots where buildings used to be. They’re like ghosts, she thought to herself. She could also see the area on the outskirts of the town where the temporary FEMA tents and prefab cabins were erected after the storm. It’s where David, and the survivors who hadn’t already moved on, were located at this very moment. The ones who happened to not be in the wrong place at the wrong time. The “lucky” ones, she supposed, though she doubted any but a few of them would see it that way.

She glanced over her shoulder at Max who was still sitting in the same spot on the bench. At first Chloe thought she looked nervous and was confused by this before a realization set in; it wasn’t nerves she read on Max’s face, but guilt.

Chloe deflated. This was another conversation she was not planning on having today, but it actually seemed like the best time, all things considered. She closed her eyes and summoned the courage to say what she needed to say next. She knew that doing so would likely open up her own emotional floodgates and she wasn’t sure she would be able to stop the torrent once it started.

“Last time I stood here I asked you to kill me.”

Shifting uncomfortably, Max responded: “You asked me to let you die. There is a difference.”

“....Max.”

With more than a hint of frustration Max added, “Ok, fine. Yes, you did.”

“And you refused.”

“Yes I did.” She didn’t miss a beat.

Chloe turned around to face her fully and cracked a smile.

“Thank you. I don’t think I ever thanked you before, and even if I did, I’m saying it again. Thank you.”

It was now Max who had trouble holding Chloe’s gaze. Her eyes began to glisten as she absently watched her shoes making patterns in the dirt.

“Are we really doing this? Right now?”

Chloe was hard pressed to find a time in her life where she needed a cigarette more than this moment. “There are some things we do need to talk about, Max.”

“Please don’t…” Max said, barely more than a whisper.

Chloe, not having heard her, continued. “I mean, we can’t just pretend-”

“YES WE CAN!” Max snapped. Chloe recoiled impulsively. Max, with as much composure as she could muster, repeated softly,

“Yes we can…..”

Chloe was speechless. They shared their first uncomfortable silence together since they were reunited a month ago. Thankfully it didn’t take long for Max to break it. “Just...leave it. Can’t we? Just for a little while longer. I know it’s pointless but I...I can’t...I’m just….”

“You’re not ready yet,” Chloe said, releasing the breath she didn’t realize she was holding.

Max nodded. Some stray tears had framed her cheeks but she was successfully holding back the dam, for now. Chloe sat down next to Max again and placed a hand on her shoulder. “I get it. I do. I’m not going to push you. I...I should have realized that this was where you are. You’ve just been so badass the whole time I -”

Max cut her off. “You do know this is you still talking about it, right?”

Chloe scoffed. “Did I say badass? I obviously meant smartass. '' When she was satisfied the little smile she saw creep onto Max’s face was genuine, she added, “I’m only going to say this last thing then. When you are ready, whenever that is, I’ll be here.”

“I know,'' Max said, finally making eye contact again. “I’m counting on it.”

After a brief pause, Max looked away and added, “I’m going to ask you something awkward now.”

“Ruh-roh”, Chloe mocked.

“What was she to you? Really?”

Chloe’s jaw dropped. “Fuckin’ zoiks, Max. Jesus.”

“I’m sorry Scooby”, Max said, not at all. She felt a little guilty making Chloe squirm, but not enough to hold back from doing it when a genuine opportunity arose.

Chloe clasped her hands together in front of her face, formulating her response. “Max, Rachel was my…...she was my everything. When she disappeared I thought I had lost everything. Again.”

Max looked thoughtful for a moment. “She was your everything…..and you were her….?”

“I was her most important thing, at least for a while. Again, I now see that I occasionally shared that top spot with others. But my entire life revolved around her. I was basically done with school at that point, depending on who you ask, so my interactions with other local people were usually during the odd fetch-quest for Frank when funds were running low. As you can imagine, those usually left a bad impression on the person I was paying a visit to, whoever it happened to be at the time.”

“Not exactly a social call.”

“Right. Other than that, depending on gas money, we usually went to nearby towns like Manzanita or Tillamook at the weekend. One time we went as far as Astoria and nearly got stranded when the truck took a shit, but it really didn't matter where we went as long as it was far away from the Bay. We’d go to bars and pick up guys, sometimes for fun, but mostly to try and shake them down.”

“...Nathan..”

“Yeah, well. That was me being reckless and doing it on my own. We used to be each other’s backup, but….I was kinda desperate…”

Max looked sheepish. “So how often would you...uh….do it for fun, say…?”

Chloe laughed. “I never took you for the type who wanted all the juicy details, Max. I’m shocked.”

“It’s not like that!” Max blurted. “I just didn’t think you were..uh..that you liked, uh…”

“You didn’t think I liked dick?”

“Jesus. I was gonna say boys.”

Chloe laughed again. “You are so adorable. It’s not my preference, but I like dick just fine, Max. I mean, I never found one that was attached to someone I actually wanted to spend some quality time with. I also never much cared to put effort into finding one either, you know?”

Max sighed. “I really don’t.”

Grinning, Chloe put her hand to Max’s chin. “Chin up, Buttercup. It won’t be too long before you-”

A chill she couldn’t hide went down Max’s spine. Chloe quickly pulled her hand away in response. “I..I’m sorry, Max. I didn’t mean-”

“No!” Max exclaimed. “It’s not that. You just reminded me of someone. Um, someone who’s gone now…”

“Oh. I’m sorry. Must have been someone pretty awesome to make you jump like that.”

Max smiled wistfully. “Yeah. She was the awesomest.”

“In that case, I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to meet her.”

“You would have liked her, I think,” Max mused. “She was a fighter. And she would have looooved you. All punk and sass and badassery...” Chloe laughed as Max dramatically pantomimed her interpretation of Chloe’s “sass” and “badassery”. The sound of her laughter confirmed to Max that neglecting to clarify who she was referring to was the right call. They both had enough nuclear-level emotional fuckery going on today without adding the fact that Chloe’s paralysed self from an alternate timeline really did ask Max to kill her, and Max…. well, that’s another topic to add to the pile for another day.

Chloe continued to regale Max with tales of her and Rachel’s exploits over the years, including the time they set up a pirate radio station from the junkyard, which ended up being a failure when the antenna Chloe rigged up could barely penetrate the city limits with the power they had available. Still, it was cool when they could park the truck in the junkyard and just sit and chill or rock out by tuning into their own personalized radio station, which they often did in the long summer evenings.

“For what it’s worth, I don’t think you ever shared that top spot with anyone,” Max said. “It sounds to me,” she continued, “like everything she did was in service to getting both of you out of Arcadia Bay. Together.”

“Except when it wasn’t,” Chloe scowled.

Max shrugged. “Fuck knows I’m no expert with relationships, but that’s what I feel, anyway,” she said.

Chloe perked up. Relationships? She laughed, grabbed Max’s hands and pulled her up off of the bench. Max yelped in confusion, much to Chloe’s absolute delight.

“She made me promise to go easy on you, you know,'' Chloe said.

“Oh? What do you mean?” They were still hand in hand facing each other. Max was extremely aware of her own presence and her proximity to Chloe.

“Rachel. She made me promise to go easy on you if we ever met each other again, which she was positive we would, by the way. ‘That Max Caulfield, if she’s going through what I think she’s going through, you need to give her a break when she finally does make contact again.’ I’m pretty sure that’s the reason she and I never really got together, outside of drunken foibles. She knew she’d always be playing second fiddle to my first love.”

Max’s heart jumped into her throat. “What?! What do you mean?”

Chloe cupped Max’s cheek and wiped a fresh tear away with her thumb.

“Don’t you get it, Max? The one that I wanted ...It's you. It was always you. Even when it…..wasn’t….”

Max stumbled backwards out of Chloe’s hands.

“I think I might need to puke…”

“Not…. quite the reaction I was expecting….” Chloe said.

“I’m sorry,” Max said. “It’s just that my heart is beating like a fucked clock. I’m feeling kind of dizzy.”

Chloe made a show of pondering something. “My take away from this is ’weak at the knees’. This is acceptable to me. Carry on.”

Max clutched her belly. “Don’t make me laugh!” she laughed.

“Okay, okay.” Chloe ushered Max to the bench. “Come here. Sit down. Now, are you really gonna puke?”

“I think I’m good,” Max replied. “It’s a lot to process..”

After a moment Max took Chloe’s hand. “Chloe, I don’t know if I’m….I mean, this is all very new to me…”

“Max, you know how I feel about labels. You don’t have to define everything.”

Chloe took Max’s other free hand. “Look at me.”

Max did as she was told.

“Describe how you feel when you look at me in one word.”

Max rolled her eyes. “Jesus Christ.”

Chloe smiled and deepened her voice. “That is two words, my child.” In her normal tone she said, “try again.”

Max took a long look at Chloe’s entire form as she appeared sitting next to her on the bench. After a moment she said, “Safe”.

Chloe seemed pleased with that answer. She inched a little closer to Max and asked, “What about now?”

Max looked at her again, thoughtfully. “Happy”, she said.

Chloe leaned in a little bit closer to Max. “What about now?”

“Scared,” Max replied.

Chloe locked eyes with hers and leaned in so their faces were only inches apart. “What about now?”

“Terrified,” Max whispered.

“Why?” Chloe asked, her face slowly inching closer to Max.

“It scares me that you want to kiss me, because I don’t feel worthy of it and I’m scared of what it will mean for my life going forward. It terrifies me that I want to kiss you back and that I might somehow screw this up -” Chloe locked lips with Max before she could say another word.

“I’m sorry, I just had to shut you up,” Chloe said after they came up for air. “Not worthy? What the fuck, Max?”

Max shrugged before planting a kiss on the tip of Chloe’s nose. “I dunno,” she said. “I mean, you are, like, a solid nine. Seriously. I’m, at best, a six.”

Chloe pulled away. “You’re joking with me, right? I’m gonna smack you so hard if you’re not...”

Max laughed. “Yes, I’m joking with you. You are super fucking hot though. Like, for reals.”

Chloe blushed. “That actually means something, coming from you.”

Max’s heart began to melt a little. “I love that you occasionally say exactly the right thing at the right time and it isn’t forced at all. I mean, fuck, do you actually have any idea how hot you are?”

With a slight stammer, Chloe replied, “I know exactly how hot I am, Max. Why do you think I dress like this?”

They both wrinkled their eyebrows at each other. “Okay, let’s add that one to the pile of subjects we’re going to need to revisit at a later time,” Max said after a moment.

Chloe scoffed. “Besides, Rachel was the one who was really the hottest -”

“NOT THE TIME, CHLOE!” Max exclaimed incredulously. Chloe bowed her head. “Oh shit, right. Ooops. Sorry…..girlfriend.” She looked up just enough to see if there was approval.

Max smiled. Chloe smiled. They kissed again, more slowly this time.

They made their way back to the truck before the sun set completely. They began kissing before they even got the doors closed fully. They kissed passionately. They kissed softly. They laughed. They cried.

“David is going to lose his shit,” Chloe said, as she eventually turned the ignition to bring the truck's engine roaring to life. “You just know he’ll have a problem with us sleeping in the same bed.”

“Wow, you are getting a little ahead of yourself there!” Max said.

Chloe gave her the stink eye. “Seriously?”

Max giggled. “Yeah, who am I kidding, we’re totally getting it on later.”

“That’s my girl,” Chloe said as she shifted the truck into first gear and began driving down the trail to the main road.

“Besides,” Max added, “He totally fucking knew this was coming. I guarantee it.”

They drove onward, bathed in the light of the moon, of which, thankfully, there was only one.