I can’t do this anymore

There are a lot of things I can say, a lot of reasons I can give, but it all comes down to my depression and my lack of desire to make anything I need to for this blog to continue.

I will say this.

I started this blog under the promise to myself that I would finish it because I felt like my habit of starting things without ever completing them was weak and a problem I needed get in control of, and that if I finished this blog that would solve it.



There were several problems with this thought process; the first being that I didn’t know this blog would last more than a year, let alone three. The second is that I didn’t realize how much guilt I would come to feel over making something so unoriginal and becoming popular for it. That sensation started by feeling like all of you who found this blog and followed it expected something out of it that would never come, because genuinely there is no divergence from the plot of the game here whatsoever and nothing about this story is that different than what others have done with this same premise; it’s nothing someone else couldn’t come up with. I suppose I gained a great fear of disappointing all of you, which is another part of why I refused to move on from this.

The third problem is that I have been very unfair to myself from the conception of this blog. The pressure put on this was unnecessary and I believe it was very damaging to my mentality regarding work. Forcing oneself to make something to completion is a lovely idea in theory, but it is not necessarily something possible. What it is, is an excellent way to forbid yourself from starting anything. It’s an excellent way to have something on your to-do list for the rest of your life. An excellent away to eat away at your mind and soul slowly and agonizingly with the guilt that you aren’t working, feeling that you’ll never be finished, knowledge of how much you still have left to do, and on top of that the guilt that you feel knowing how many people you could disappoint. Numerically by follower count and plus some because not everyone uses tumblr.

This blog will no longer be updated. It will not be deleted, it will remain on tumblr as an archive of sorts, but otherwise I will have nothing to do with it. If you have been donating to my patreon in hopes that I will update, this is your invitation to stop. However, while this blog will no longer be associated with it, I will still use the patreon to post early updates for Hard Mode (once I have the strength to continue that, which I do intend to do) and other things I make in the future.

Yes, I’m giving up on it but I would prefer to think of it as moving on to other things. To other artists who feel like failures for giving up on their work, or to those who fear starting projects because of it, I’m here for you and I know how you feel. And you are not a failure. You’re brave for attempting something. You should not feel ashamed that it was too big for you. You should feel proud for trying, proud for making something even if it’s incomplete, and remember that in your attempts you gained something great, be that knowledge, experience, skill, etc. that you never would have gained otherwise and that will help you in the future in ways you can’t even imagine yet. Don’t be afraid to acknowledge when it’s time to end something, but more importantly don’t be afraid to start something even if the outcome is that it fails.

If you have any questions about anything regarding myself or this blog, the ask box will be open until the end of the day when I will officially shut everything down.