This time, the kids are swapping last names, living conditions, colors, and classes with their ectosiblings! How simple was that?

John Harley - Witch of Breath, Land of Frost and Shade

Rose Strider - Knight of Light, Land of Light and Clockwork

Dave Lalonde - Seer of Time, Land of Heat and Rain

Jade Egbert - Heir of Space, Land of Wind and Frogs

FULL ANALYSES UNDER THE READ MORE!

John Harley lives on an island in the Pacific with his MOMMOM, with the family patriarch out of the picture due to an incident in his childhood that he has pushed away into the back of his mind and forgotten about. MOMMOM started off as a poor underdog and had to fend off all comers, leaving her a bit touchy, but she’s a generous philanthropist who tries to impress the values of charity onto John. He hasn’t really gotten it yet, but he’s trying. John is a flighty guy, to say the least - he’s the therapist friend that takes in everyone’s problems, and his advice is usually something like “Oh, have fun, don’t worry about it!” or “It’s not really in your control, so don’t beat yourself up over it”, and he’s a huge fan of the value of escapism, considering himself a bit of a WRITER, specializing in FANFICTION THAT INVOLVES THE READER (or his self-inserts). He loves RPGs and CYOA NOVELS as a result, and is absolutely overjoyed once he realizes the true nature of SBURB - the ultimate escapist fantasy. He owns a rabbit named SEBASTIAN, who he loves very, very much.

John’s Land is the LAND OF FROST AND SHADE, a cavernous deep kept warm by the clever Consorts who have managed to discover some very flammable materials in the black-ice caves, keeping it lined with fire whenever possible. The land is cold and restrictive, ruled by the jailor BOREAS, who has sealed off almost all of the villages from John’s usage. Once John finally understands the nature of ICY SUBLIMATION, he will finally be able to unseal the true inner section of his land, a hollow interior sea where gravity is reversed, and he must make his way to the planet’s core to confront BOREAS and merge the two halves once more.

John uses the BATONKIND specibus and the CHOOSE-YOUR-OWN-ADVENTURE MODUS, which is really impractical for selecting items but does generate a little continual story for him to play when he’s bored - he has to select the right options to get the items he wants. He’s very good at it, too. His symbol is a feather quill. John’s CHUMHANDLE is grindingGiants.

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Rose Strider is a testy, nervous girl who lives in Houston, Texas, with her overbearing MOTHER, a lawyer who lives by the mantra “Be right, or not at all”. Living in such an environment has led her to be very precise with her words and actions, and terrified of the concept of sharing an opinion, lest it get picked apart into facts and then demolished. Rose, still, has turned this into a skill, becoming a respected member of her school’s DEBATE TEAM, where she’s the star, it’s her. Secretly, she likes to go on the house’s one computer when her MOTHER is out or asleep and argue with people on the internet, where she’s developed a somewhat infamous reputation amongst imageboards as a recognizable anonymous poster that comes into threads and ruins them with facts and figures that sound right but end up being (intentionally) incorrect. In her free time, she likes to practice PHOTOGRAPHY and ARCHITECTURAL DRAFTSMANSHIP, but she is also kind of a PERFECTIONIST, and gets infuriated when she can’t get an angle just right or a line perfectly straight.

Rose’s Land is the LAND OF LIGHT AND CLOCKWORK, an architectural wonderland of steel girders, concrete slabs, and unfinished, glass buildings, constantly being constructed and deconstructed by automated arms and pulleys. Due to her Denizen, KAGUTSUCHI’S curse, none of the consorts are able to speak clearly to Rose. No matter what, they will always say something that is untrue, even if it’s only a little bit untrue, or just factually untrue, or they only speak in opinions, the exact nature of the curse varying from village to village. Only by piecing together the FINAL PICTURE by charting out the villages’ afflictions will Rose be able to open the doors to KAGUTSUCHI’S LAIR.

Rose uses both the CAMERAKIND and RULERKIND specibus, and the POLICE SKETCH MODUS, which is a slightly less childish version of the PICTIONARY MODUS that her mother had gotten for her when she was 8. Her symbol is a protractor. Rose’s CHUMHANDLE is tinseltownGambligant.

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Dave Lalonde lives in a cozy cabin up in Rainbow Falls, NY, with his ANIKI, a somewhat childish man who’s not afraid to indulge in his WEEABOO INTERESTS, something that Dave chafes against. He expresses this chafing in terms of STAUNCH ANTI-WEEABOOISM, aka an indulgence in “Cringe” stuff, and likes to fancy himself a MEME HISTORIAN, keeping track of the birth and death of new memes, writing thinkpieces, and generally indulging in the almost lost art of internet macros. His favorite memes are VINTAGE ONES, especially 4CHAN SCREENSHOTS, such as IT’S NOT FUCKING WEED YOU PIECE OF SHIT STONER. He likes to find the old, low-quality ones and retouch them with a bit of HTML magic. He likes to collect OWL PELLETS and dissect them, and owns a small collection of VERMIN SKELETONS, and he enjoys listening to TRIP CHILL-HOP BEATS TO STUDY TO. His time travel item is a SCALPEL.

Dave’s Land is the LAND OF HEAT AND RAIN, a muddy shithole (not literally) that shows signs of having once been a desert, before a vast, endless storm flooded the land. Ruled by the Denizen BAAL, Dave’s only quest is the struggle to reach his Denizen amidst the dearth of both Underlings and Consorts. The dungeons in his land all contain mechanisms to TEMPORARILY REVERT THEM IN TIME, like that one dungeon in Skyward Sword, with many puzzles relying on the mastery of TEMPORAL FORESIGHT as the semi-flooded TEMPORAL TEMPLES are brought to states in the past when it was drier.

Dave uses the DAGGERKIND specibus and possesses a DISSECTION MODUS, which requires him to carefully cut items out of their sylladex cards, physically destroying the card in question, but possesses a nearly limitless carrying capacity. His symbol is an owl. Dave’s CHUMHANDLE is topkekTranslator.

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Jade Egbert lives in a comfortable, extinct-volcano-adjacent suburb in Washington state with her POPPOP, a lovely, overly-friendly (perhaps too much) man that has since retired from a job he doesn’t like talk about to work as a STUFFED ANIMAL SURGEON, which leaves plenty of PATCHWORK STUFFED ANIMALS around for her to lavish attention on! Jade has a deep interest in MYTHOLOGY and ANTHROPOLOGY with a sincerity that sometimes weirds out her friends - in fact, her interest in everything is sincere enough to KIND OF SHOCK PEOPLE. She’s a very blunt person who will tell you her feelings if she asks. She also carries a deep interest in GENEOLOGY, and is frustrated by the fact that none of her own DNA test results make sense, so she supplements it with STUFFED ANIMAL GENEOLOGIES, aka, elaborate historical fiction that she writes about said stuffed animals, creating vast and deeply detailed worlds full of DRAMA and INTRIGUE for them to inhabit based on the world of Her Bedroom.

Jade’s Land is the Land of Wind and Frogs, a whistling plain of deep grasses and rolling hills ruled by the Denizen GAIA. In some places, the grass grows so deep that it might as well become a SEA OF PLANTS, overwhelming the senses (and the pollen-allergic Jade Egbert) and rendering visibility excessively null. Part of her challenge is to, of course, locate frogs even within this DENSE OCEAN OF PLANT MATTER, as the ocean gets taller, bit by bit, each day. Thankfully, there are CONSORT VILLAGES carved out along the SEABED, providing patchy holes for landmarks. Once she understands the nature of the SEA’S SPACE she’ll be more than ready to take on whatever GAIA needs of her.

Jade uses the TEDDYBEARKIND specibus and possesses a GATTACA™ MODUS, which can display both GENETIC CAPTCHAS and normal CAPTCHAs, but has a pretty stringent size limit that sometimes has to be worked around. Her symbol is a stylized fossil. Jade’s CHUMHANDLE is eclecticBurials.