My mom went to the same hairdresser for 16 years. She calls me up. She’s just so angry. And I’m like, “What’s wrong?” “I had to change hairdressers.” “Did Rocky close his shop down?” She’s like, “No. He’s gay.” And I’m like, “You didn’t know? Doesn’t he have a son with his supposed best friend who’s male?” If we were going to screen people, my parents would not have been people that should have had children. One week after I was in China, Lehman Brothers collapsed. I didn’t come back. I had a job that I loved, and then I met Richard. For the next 60 days, we went out every single day. And I would meet his friends, but I wasn’t meeting his family. This went on for almost a year. And then he came up to me and says, “My mom would like you to join us for Chinese New Year Dinner.” There was never a discussion about us. His parents would invite me to weddings in the family, his dad’s birthday, yet no discussion. Richard would put on his wedding ring, but he would take it off anytime he saw his family. I knew that it was going to be hard for them to understand, but I’m like, “You have to tell them.” He’s all upset. I’m like, “What’s wrong?” He’s like, “They don’t accept us.” And that was devastating. They may say we can’t do this. But, you know, over time, they’re going to see that’s not true. Ian is from Richard and Eli is from me. When we heard the two heartbeats, we were both crying. Sometimes, it’s just surreal. When the boys were born, Richard’s parents would only want to see pictures of Ian or FaceTime to see Ian, and even made suggestions of Richard taking Ian and going back to China, or Richard divorces me and marries an American woman. What occurred to me was by the time we got to the, “send them to school in China” craziness, we had actually made progress. We weren’t separating them anymore. We weren’t divorcing anymore. It was, little by little, moving to acceptance. Richard is their only child. His parents love him very much, and he loves his parents very much. So I know that it isn’t from a place of hate. It’s from a place of just not understanding and needing time to adjust. But it is really, really hard because it’s your kids. And you’re just like, “How could you treat anybody like that?” A family is not just a structure. A family means that there is a loving environment. I never felt that I could ever come out. They wouldn’t have accepted it. My childhood is not what these kids are going to have. We will teach them to be themselves. We will teach them about both cultures. We’ll teach them to be respectful of people, of differences. They don’t see yet. They don’t understand voices yet. But they’re going to start knowing who we are, and they’re going to know who your parents are soon. Nobody should go through their formative years thinking that there’s something wrong with them. Ultimately, whatever they choose in their own life, that’s O.K.