You've should have seen the boxes on Philip K. Dick's response letter:

[ ] I don't respond to letters from the CIA.

[ ] Yes, you are working for the CIA.

[ ] I don't respond to people trying to read my mind.

[ ] I can read your mind.

[ ] I don't respond to letters from the FBI.

[ ] Please stop listening to my telephone.

[ ] How do you what I dreamed about? Are you the man in my dream?

[ ] How do you what I dreamed about? Are you the woman in my dream?

[ ] I appreciate your input but I don't think anyone would want to make my books into movies.

[ ] Robert Heinlein stole the idea for these type of response letters from me. He has a device that can read other authors' minds. He also punishes me when I forget to feed my cat.