WHAT IS HAPPENING.

It’s been too long. This article is my lifeblood and I’ve recognized over the terribly long off-season how I need the ability to run my mouth in delirium every night with a purpose. And finally, I have that purpose again. Praise Colon.

For those that don’t know what’s happening, the oldest article in the book here at Pitcher List is the SP Roundup, an article I write every single night during the season reviewing every starter from the day’s games. It’s easily my favorite part of running this site and I hope you’ll enjoy it through the season.

Enough talk, let’s get to it. Let’s see how every SP performed yesterday:

Garrett Richards – 5.0 IP, 4 ER, 7 Hits, 3 BBs, 4 Ks. Funny story, Richards hadn’t had a 4 ER game since September 2015. But that kind makes sense when you realize he only had 16 starts between the two. If you’re discouraged about Richards being a…Tracy, don’t be. He was looking fine prior to his fifth inning, boasting sliders at 92mph and great looking cutters well above 95mph. But you can’t just ignore the fifth like it didn’t happen. I can and I will if I want to sleep peacefully tonight. Richards walked two straight, then threw a terrible 2-2 heater to Khris Davis who Crushed it like a Slice can. 3 ER. Oh, and then allowed a solo blast from Matt Olson in the next at-bat. Bleeeegh. I can fathom an argument that Richards hasn’t started properly for a while, leading him to get gassed quicker than we’re used to, but that just doesn’t sit right with me. He looked great in his return in September and the talent is clearly here to succeed. I know we all wanted to feel like we scored a sack of gold after his first start given Richards’ discount in drafts, and we’re just going to have to save that smug face for April. Wear it proudly, boys.

Chase Anderson – 6.0 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hits, 3 BBs, 6 Ks. Speaking of glorious discounts, I remember the Twitter debates about Anderson, calling me crazy for putting him anywhere inside the Top 50. I’m not naive enough to start celebrating after one excellent outing against the Padres, but it kinda warms your heart a little, you know? YOU HEAR THAT GARRETT? THIS IS WHAT LOVE IS LIKE.

Ty Blach – 5.0 IP, 0 ER, 3 Hits, 3 BBs, 3 Ks. This dude right here outdueled Kershaw. Even his name sounds like bland chalk. The worst kind of chalk. I really don’t see Blach turning into a starter you’ll ever feel good about with his career 10.6% strikeout rate that makes me already regret watching him without a hazmat suit on.

Dylan Bundy – 7.0 IP, 0 ER, 5 Hits, 1 BBs, 7 Ks. You want the ideal Bundy start? This is the ideal Bundy start. 24 Sliders with 12 whiffs, fastball velocity consistently sitting around 92mph, and no longballs to ruin his party. ATTA BOY BUNDY. Now let’s see if he can keep that velocity and slider count moving forward.

Felix Hernandez – 5.1 IP, 0 ER, 2 Hits, 2 BBs, 4 Ks. Before you start your fanfare, it wasn’t like Felix was super dominant tonight. He was good, not close to overwhelming like we saw in the past. I need to see more than 7 whiffs. I need to see him create a ton of uncomfortable swings on his changeups. I saw maybe one or two. That’s not going to cut it in the long haul.

Jake Odorizzi – 6.0 IP, 0 ER, 2 Hits, 2 BBs, 7 Ks. Now this. This really intrigued me. 13 swings and misses for Odorizzi, who showed up throwing 18% curveballs after holding a sub 6% rate last season. He earned over 20% whiffs with it – it looked dope – and suddenly I’m so down. Pair that with just two walks in six frames – albeit the O’s are refuse to take walks like they’re pamphlets to join the flat earth society – and I want to ride this train as far as it goes. Odorizzi turned into a questionable arm last season, but this looks like a step forward to turn him into full season relevancy. Odorizzi, I like the smell of your cooking.

Chris Sale – 6.0 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hits, 3 BBs, 9 Ks. Aces gonna ace. This is how it’s done y’all.

Clayton Kershaw – 6.0 IP, 1 ER, 8 Hits, 2 BBs, 7 Ks. This too. I know you’re a bit upset at that WHIP. Whatever, he’ll allow one baserunner next time to make up for it. Also, for those that will be tracking it through the year, Kershaw earns the first Gallows Pole of the season, with his 17 whiffs taking the cake. Atta boy.

Luis Severino – 5.2 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hits, 3 BBs, 7 Ks. It’s as if Severino wants to be a part of the “Elite Four” as well. You know kiddo, you must just get there someday. Maybe if Boone let’s you go more than 91 pitches and finish the sixth inning next time you can get there.

Aaron Nola – 5.1 IP, 1 ER, 3 Hits, 1 BBs, 3 Ks. SPEAKING OF WHICH. Yes, my child? No no no, not you Agatha, I need to yell about Gabe Kapler for a moment. Why. OH WHY are you taking Nola out of a 5-0 game in the middle of the sixth inning when Nola is at just 68 pitches?! This is your ace. The one that is supposed to save the pen for your other whack starters (save for Arrieta. You’re cool.) and he was spinning the perfect gem that hinted at needing just one inning to close it out. This game was over. I don’t care about the actual end that resulted in a 6-5 loss in extras, but I might if it means Kapler won’t be so ridiculous in future starts. Nola had an IPS comfortably over six frames last year and you best hold me back if I see that number creep under six because of Gabe freakin’ Kapler. NOLA DESERVES BETTER.

Justin Verlander – 6.0 IP, 0 ER, 4 Hits, 2 BBs, 5 Ks. I’ve expressed my concern with Verlander that has me dancing along the pool’s edge looking down at the deep water, knowing fully well that I’m jumping in but that fear of his terrible first halves of 2016 and 2017 echo in the back of my mind. This helps Verlander. This helps a lot.

Patrick Corbin – 5.2 IP, 2 ER, 7 Hits, 1 BBs, 8 Ks. Are you excited? I’m excited. His 15 whiffs were tied for second on the day, a product of throwing 45 sliders across 91 pitches. That’s about a 50% rate and everything I wanted from Corbin. Success will follow that pitch, and its ability paired with the humidor and a good offense behind him, Corbin can be a legit starter through the year. There’s risk investing so much in one pitch, but I’m definitely buying.

Clayton Richard – 7.0 IP, 1 ER, 6 Hits, 1 BBs, 4 Ks. It’s the wrong Clayton! Who arguably did better given you sacrificed 3 Ks for a better WHIP and 7 IP of a better ERA. Baseball is weird, y’all.

J. A. Happ – 4.2 IP, 2 ER, 4 Hits, 1 BBs, 5 Ks. Outside of meeting Giancarlo Stanton, Happ did a decent job tempering the Yankee offense. I think he’s a productive arm that should help your team when he’s on the field, the only question is how long that will be. Don’t expect strikeouts and it will come with some blegh starts like this one, but it’ll help.

Corey Kluber – 8.0 IP, 2 ER, 6 Hits, 1 BBs, 8 Ks. Fun fact: Kluber, Sale, Kershaw all started today, combing for 21.0 IP, 3 ER, 24 Ks, and not a single win. Yep.

Jon Gray – 4.0 IP, 3 ER, 6 Hits, 3 BBs, 4 Ks. During this start I couldn’t help but think that Gray was one of the least talked about starters that was universally inside the Top 60. It’s like we all just didn’t know what to do with him, recognizing that he has the talent to be really good but then, you know, Coors. And it’s not like he’s a Top 10 pitcher when the stage is neutral either…but he has an unreal slider as well so I guess we have to own him and start him…but do we really want to? I’ll stop that terrible ramble though I legitamtely believe other writers had that exact train of thought and elected not to deal with it, just like how I came nowhere close to draft Jay Gray this year. Still, for the record, he will be better than this. He’s not Hamels, after all.

Cole Hamels – 5.2 IP, 3 ER, 5 Hits, 4 BBs, 7 Ks. Huh. I’m a bit shocked at the seven strikeouts, while everything else reads exactly like my face when reading college rejection letters: pure disappointment. Oh, you were rejected from college? No, not my letters, I just read random ones sent to other people on the internet. Anyway, don’t expect that disappointment to go away anytime soon, Hamels isn’t going to have the rebound some expect someone of his “name” to have.

Jon Lester – 3.1 IP, 3 ER, 7 Hits, 3 BBs, 2 Ks. Still want to quote his 2016 sub 2.50 ERA? Oh come on, it’s one start. YOU’RE ONE START. And you’re right. I’m not being fair here…I just didn’t have a good feeling earlier this week and I still have it now.

Chris Archer – 6.0 IP, 4 ER, 6 Hits, 1 BBs, 6 Ks. Is this not exactly what we talked about? Archer is a great source of strikeouts, but his ERA is suspect. Sure, he ran into the Sawx today – and might again a few more times in April – but it’s getting harder and harder to imagine him getting out of this forest and to the land of aces. Note: Archer did allow 2 ER because of a “HR” hit by Eduardo Nunez, which was really just errors by his outfielders. Can’t take it off the books completely, but this wasn’t as bad as it looks.

Carlos Martinez – 4.1 IP, 4 ER, 4 Hits, 6 BBs, 5 Ks. Welcome to the life of being a CarMart owner. He’ll do this to you for a start or two, then send you a 7 IP, 8 K outing with 5 baserunners. It’s part of the package that we never see when we look at the full season’s numbers. Fine for roto, an abusive relationship in H2H.

James Shields – 6.0 IP, 4 ER, 5 Hits, 1 BBs, 0 Ks. Shields got himself 18 outs without recording a strikeout. How am I supposed to feed my family with this?!

Noah Syndergaard – 6.0 IP, 4 ER, 6 Hits, 0 BBs, 10 Ks. Funny story, I wrote about Syndergaard’s super high BABIP last week and what does he do? Allow 4 ER on 6 Hits and 0 walks. That’s not BABIP, that’s LOB rate. Okay, that’s kinda true but it did come with a .429 BABIP so why not both? Obviously keep starting Thor, he’s dope and feels dope, and I’ll keep yelling at the TV in rage when he actually throws a great pitch and Yadier Molina still his the high-and-tight fastball for a two-run HR.

Julio Teheran – 5.2 IP, 4 ER, 4 Hits, 3 BBs, 3 Ks. Okay so we’re halfway there. For now it’ll be “Teheran isn’t bad, this start was at home. He’ll be good on the road.” After that road start, then we’ll finally be given the full story: Teheran is bad everywhere. Sounds like a children’s book I’d buy.

Danny Duffy – 4.0 IP, 5 ER, 7 Hits, 2 BBs, 5 Ks. Blegh, this one is a bit disappointing as I’ve been looking to Duffy as a stable high-floor/low-ceiling type this season. That can still be there – if he could always avoid the bad start, he would have a much better ERA – but against the ChiSox? Get it together Duffy.

Kendall Graveman – 5.0 IP, 5 ER, 7 Hits, 0 BBs, 1 Ks. This is the most typical Graveman start with just one strikeout and 5 ER to his name. He just throws fastballs after all.

Jose Urena – 4.0 IP, 5 ER, 6 Hits, 4 BBs, 2 Ks. Everyone knows about Urena because of how bad he was, especially giving up a HR on the very first official pitch of the 2018 MLB season. Then also hitting some guys. And walking them. And allowing more HRs. The real entertaining part? Urena held a 3.82 ERA last season that was massively removed from his 5.20 FIP and 5.19 SIERA. Considering the atrocity that is yesterday’s line, I’m thinking I won’t have to defend my reasoning of not including him on The List moving forward. All is right with the world.

Today’s Streamer

Jhoulys Chacin vs. San Diego Padres – Yeah, it’s Chacin and you know the deal. Chacin will do well when Jhoulyst expect it. And I will also tell you that streaming right now is a bad idea. But hey, if you’re gonna do it, might as well against one of the weaker offenses around and Chacin was known to spin off some good outings last season.

Tomorrow’s Streamer

Trevor Williams vs. Detroit Tigers – You know, I’m not looking exactly at Owned % for these out of the gate since even if I see Lucas Giolito or Kyle Gibson not wildly owned, I won’t believe it. Yes, I’d rather start them both over Williams here, but if you have your back against the wall (I don’t know how it is at this point but whatever) and need an outing somewhere, I’m going with Williams. I don’t even like him much, but I hate the Tigers offense more and it’s fathomable he can be helpful.

Day After Tomorrow’s Streamer

Reynaldo Lopez vs. Kansas City Royals – Okay, I actually would expect Lopez to be owned, but there really aren’t any other options here (unless this is Stratton’s first start of the year and I might consider that against the Dodgers). Still, Lopez is better than you think and I can see him having a beautiful start that triggers a massive waiver wire parade. A sea of green as they call it.

Game of the Day

David Price vs. Blake Snell – Max Scherzer are on the bump as well, but the most intriguing matchup is Price against Snell. I’m a huge fan of Price for 2018 and I’m curious if he can look like his former self from his first pitch of the season. Meanwhile, there’s plenty of buzz surrounding Snell and I wonder if he really can become an effective pitcher with his fastball/changeup foundation.