Katherine Lymn

USA TODAY NETWORK-Wisconsin

With frighteningly high rates of suicide for middle-aged men, a Fox Cities group is trying to reach the people who surround that population with prevention education.

Two events later this month target workplace managers and women.

"Gals in the workforce can talk to other people but you don't see a lot of men doing that," said Jeanette Potts, a board member of Prevent Suicide Fox Cities.

A March 18 event will educate workplace leaders on how to ask pointed questions of employees who show red flags.

Groups in the Fox Cities have put more of a focus on men's mental health lately. They point to staggering numbers of middle-age men who commit suicide, and how in a society of taught masculinity, men often wait until it's too late to ask for help.

Last year, in Outagamie, Winnebago and Calumet counties, 26 of 49 suicides were deaths of men ages 25 to 64.

Those who manage people might do a performance review and notice that something has changed, fellow Prevent Suicide board member Cindy Reffke said. At that point, that manager could ask the right questions about what's going on in the employee's life, she said. The training will help them learn how to do that.

The same goes for the March 19 event, which aims to teach women with men in their lives, namely wives and girlfriends, how to help.

"Who is the person that you're closest to?" Potts said. "It's typically your spouse or your significant other."

Appleton police have already tried looking out for their officers this way, having a "spouses night" recently when the department's go-to clinician shared what to look out for in their partner, said Sgt. John Wallschlaeger, a retired officer who now consults on mental health.

He said the military has taken this approach too, giving spouses education on what warning signs to look for in service members returning from deployment.

Besides being the right thing to do, employers have financial reasons to care for male employees' mental health, Wallschlaeger said.

"It really affects that company's bottom line," he said, "because when they have a mentally healthy workforce, they will have higher productivity and lower absenteeism, better attendance, probably even less use of sick time."

Shannon Kenevan, community engagement leader for Fox Valley Voices of Men, said the more people who are engaged from different angles for suicide prevention, the better.

With men, he said, the risks are higher because of how they are socialized to keep their emotions quiet.

"So if the men don't seek help themselves and if they're not themselves in touch with their own emotions and realizing that they might be depressed or sad or afraid," he said, "one of the better things we can do is try to raise awareness of all the people around that person."

Menasha Police Chief Tim Styka has worked to reduce the shame associated with mental health within his department, and with men.

"When you are potentially looked up to in your family structure as being one of the leaders between you and your spouse, it can certainly be difficult to reach out for that assistance," he said.

The speaker at both of the Prevent Suicide Fox Cities events is Dr. Sally Spencer-Thomas, a Denver psychologist who draws on her own experience from the suicide of her brother Carson Spencer, a businessman.

"A majority who die by suicide are just like Carson — they are white, working-aged men," Spencer-Thomas said. "... A large number of these men are falling through the cracks."

Because men are more closed-off emotionally, the mental illness can become severe before they get help.

"By the time it comes to light, they're often in what we call the stage 4 cancer of mental health conditions," Spencer-Thomas said. "They are in really bad shape"

The Carson J Spencer Foundation, Spencer-Thomas's organization in honor of her brother, does general and occupation-specific suicide-prevention training. Spencer-Thomas said she and others at the foundation realized that if kids were getting mental health care in schools, it made sense to reach men at their workplaces.

She's done specific work for occupations like firefighters, police officers and construction teams — occupations that attract characteristics like self-reliance, which, while good on the job, can at the same time be even bigger barriers to reaching out for mental health care.

Katherine Lymn: 920-996-7232, or klymn@postcrescent.com; on Twitter @kathlymn

IF YOU GO

For employers and managers

What: Suicide Prevention in the Workplace

When: March 18, 8 a.m. to 12 p.m. or 12:30 p.m. to 4:30 p.m.

Where: Fox Valley Technical College, Room A170 (entrance 16, North parking lot)

Cost: $20

For women

What: Taking Care of Our Men's Mental Health

When: March 19, 8:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. (keynote 9:45 a.m.)

Where: Fox Valley Technical College, Room E130 (entrance 10, West parking lot)

Cost: $10