To the Editor:

Re “Your Miscarriage Doesn’t Have to Be a Secret” (Sunday Review, Oct. 13):

I am glad to see so many women willing to break the silence on miscarriage. I am a historian, and I spent 15 years researching my forthcoming book, “The Myth of the Perfect Pregnancy: A History of Miscarriage in America.”

After I miscarried my first pregnancy, I set out to learn why, given how common miscarriages are, we have come to expect perfect pregnancies, and grieve even early losses so deeply. I discovered that many of the innovations of modern life — from effective birth control, to emotionally intensive parenting, to prenatal care complete with ultrasounds and home pregnancy tests, to aggressive baby gear marketing, to detailed pregnancy websites and apps — have promoted unrealistic expectations about how much we can control pregnancy and encouraged bonding with pregnancies that are not yet secure.

Understanding that women once regarded early pregnancy losses as a normal part of reproductive life gave me equanimity and perspective in my subsequent pregnancies with my two children.

Lara Freidenfelds

Chatham, N.J.

To the Editor:

Although it’s been nearly 30 years since my sixth, and last, miscarriage, this powerful article triggered still painful memories of each and every one of them. After my son’s birth, I lost a pregnancy at 18 weeks, long after I started wearing maternity clothes and being visibly pregnant. I suspected something wasn’t right after 15 weeks, when I seemed to be getting smaller instead of growing bigger.