It is difficult to work out whether the Premier League's chief executive, Richard Scudamore, genuinely believes in his Respect campaign or is just having a little trouble understanding why he hasn't yet featured in the New Year's honours list. R-E-S-P-E-C-T – find out what it means to Scudamore, because in a few years' time he might just tell you it meant a trip to Buckingham Palace.

Whatever the reason, the whole thing appears rushed and devoid of detail and, given the length of his tenure, surely it could have been addressed before.

Scudamore's intentions are noble enough: "As to what we think is unacceptable, it's vitriolic abuse towards match officials and that has on occasions gone unpunished; the surrounding of referees is unacceptable; the goading of referees into trying to get opponents sanctioned we think is unacceptable; and also the undue criticism, where it spills over into questioning the referee's integrity or his honesty, is also unacceptable."

Fair enough, some things in the game don't sit easily with me, like Marcelo celebrating Peter Crouch's sending off in midweek or Ashley Cole turning his back on Mike Riley a few years ago. But the cause and effect of where we are now also lies, in part, with poor refereeing decisions.

I am not saying that if every decision was spot-on then all of the unsavoury scenes would suddenly disappear, but surely an acknowledgement of the fact that there is room for improvement would go a long way to avoiding the us-and-them scenario that Scudamore is about to sign the cheque on.

I once won a free-kick playing at Old Trafford and a Manchester United player brought the ball over to the spot where it was to be taken from and handed it to the referee. As I was getting up the player said: "You've given us fuck all today, like all the other refs that come here." I looked at the referee and burst out laughing and the referee joined in. There is goading the ref into giving you a decision and then there is taking the piss.

What that anecdote shows, though, is that referees are human. And human beings can be emotionally bribed. Knowing this and acting on it is, I'm afraid to say, a massive part of the game, and it has often been the difference between my teams winning and losing. In a nutshell, that is the "justification" for shouting in the referee's face, waving your finger at him, lambasting him every time he gives something against you and jogging past him and "getting in his ear".

I don't overly like it and I'm uncomfortable doing it, but I would go so far as to say that it is deemed vital within the game and because of that it is going to be extremely difficult for anybody to stop it. The experts in this field are so good at it that the referees almost fail to notice that the banter that they're laughing at is all part of the con.

It was many years ago that I came to realise that making a referee laugh increased my chances of getting a free-kick to go in my favour shortly after. Yet, in my opinion, how players goad referees pales in comparison to what players are expected to take from many fans.

As an example, we now know that swearing at a camera gets you a two-game ban but from the stands it is fine to swear at that same player, or a referee, as many times as you like.

Only last week the West Brom manager, Roy Hodgson, spoke out on this subject: "I don't think fans think they need to show anyone respect, be it other fans, players, coaches or refs. Of course we should, as managers and players, show more respect to referees and other coaches but it would be nice if the fans were a bit nicer – are you going to show a bit more respect to the ref or are you going to abuse him every time he makes a wrong decision? Or is it just the coaches and players that have to show the respect? Maybe it should be widened, to the whole of football?"

Absolutely right. Travelling around the country every other week, the abuse seems to be coming from all corners of the ground more frequently and from nearly every demographic. My wife told me that last week two girls no older than 13 or 14 were shouting the F-word at anybody who came near them.

Apparently I came in for a particularly vicious barrage after miscontrolling a pass – a cardinal sin, admittedly, but I wouldn't have thought deserving of back-to-back F- and C-words? It would be difficult for me to show any respect in this situation and if I reacted I bet I'd know who would be all over the papers.

What I find most ridiculous, though, is the notion that players should be role models, especially if the people they are supposed to be role models for are sat alongside a parent mouthing obscenities.

I always wanted to be a footballer, I went to the games with my dad and heard all the swearing. I still grew up to be a footballer and, may I say, a fairly well-adjusted one, and that is because of my upbringing and the values that were instilled in me. My dad preferred to scholar me on the game rather than stick a finger up at the opposition's striker after he scored. Because of this I learned more from him than just how to play football; I learned the true meaning of respect.

And while I'm not condoning some of the things that players do, if your son or daughter is copying them, ask yourself why they're taking more notice of a Premier League footballer than they are of you, or why you expose them to some of the most disgusting abuse they could ever hear. I wouldn't take my worst enemy to some grounds, let alone my kids.

It is difficult to see who or what Scudamore is standing up for – the fans, the players. More likely he is standing up to make it easier to pull the miracle out of his backside that he'll need if he is to get players to follow his orders.

R-E-F-E-R-E-E – find out what it means to Scudamore. Well, he is a qualified ref and, as I have said before, this game is all about looking after No1.

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