Like all sequels, good once again faces evil. I’m once again a handsome Luke Skywalker pitted against a despicable Darth Vader. He may have won in battle before, but this time is different. This time I’ve trained harder. Smarter. This time, I’m ready… for Chad McConnell. Laser Tag: The Sequel. A rematch to end all rematches! Because Chad took an advance on his allowance so he’s out a few months. Maybe six? This is it!

Let the record show I pitched paintball, but Mrs. McConnell wouldn’t sign the waiver. Chad was totally down. I’ll give him that. So, Laser Tag: the Sequel. We each chose two of our most trusted companions. Bryce and Blake for him. Caitlin and… Harry for me. Barry had to bail due to a classic robbery-in-progress sitch. The struggle of being best friends with a superhero, am I right? You feel me.

We were off to a good start with Caitlin guarding our base. She’s killer. I, of course, was my stellar self. Harry, on the other hand, spent the first half of game play criticizing his standard issue laser gun. I admit, they’re nowhere near their full potential, but if Blake stands next to you, shooting you repeatedly, fire back, man! I did manage a few well-aimed shots at their base. Take that, Chad.

We regrouped for the second half. Even though they had more points, I had faith in us. Then, Harry shot at me a few times. He claimed it was too dark in there. Am I Chad? Do I look like Chad?! No Harry. No. He could tell I was frustrated with him per usual. With a minute left, how could I not be on edge? He disappeared and the next time I saw him, he was firing on all cylinders! Dodging laser beams like Neo. You know, they both do wear a ton of black… I’ll leave that thought thread for another day.

So Harry rigged his laser gun to fire twice as many beams per trigger pull. Our points skyrocketed and we won the game! The crowd went wild. Alarms went off. What a win. I tried to be a true sportsman, but Chad wouldn’t shake my hand. Oh well. Suck it, little man.