If you had to pick the weirdest moment of the week, would it be:

The Coast Guard tries to buck up its unpaid civilian employees by suggesting they consider becoming dog walkers or giving music lessons.

In order to dramatize the dangers of life without a Mexico wall, Donald Trump goes to visit a Texas border city that just had its lowest crime rate in 34 years.

The president rebuts critics who say walling off a country is sort of medieval by pointing out that all cars have wheels and “a wheel is older than a wall.”

Multitudinous fact checkers point out that a wall is actually older than a wheel.

Feel free to add your own. Whatever you say, I’ll probably believe you. It’s as if we’ve fallen down a rabbit hole and landed in a Wonderland totally devoid of wonder.

Even if you really, really want Donald Trump to be a total failure hurtling his way back toward civilian life, it’s not comforting to have a president who’s so out to lunch. Just think about that trip to Texas. McAllen, the city Trump chose to demonstrate the terror of wall-free borders, was recently listed by U.S. News & World Report as one of the best places to retire in the nation. But the president, who was making only his second trip to the border since he took office, assured the public he knew how terrible things are because “I have been there numerous times.”

And that was just one tiny piece of his week! The big news, of course, was our catapult toward an all-time government shutdown record.

Pop quiz: When Trump was invited to comment on the pain of the unpaid government workers, did he say:

A) That it’s better than being killed by an illegal immigrant.

B) That a lot of them think it’s worth missing their salaries to get a wall.