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Life can be confusing. If you normally get your news from the Fox News Channel, or if you've caught one of the recent Republican debates, you'd think that the American economy is swiftly collapsing under the weight of excessive taxes and overregulation. And yet, this morning's jobs report indicates that the unemployment rate is down to 5 percent. For the anchors of Fox & Friends, it was all a bit tough to digest.

"The October jobless report for hourly workers, just released 90 seconds ago," begins Steve Doocy, struggling to read the very words on the Teleprompter. "The unemployment rate is, as you can see right there, 5 percent." As the bright red arrow behind the "5.0%" graphic continues to point in a downward direction into America's heartland, he adds some analysis. "I believe that could be, actually, a little lower than in August and in September as well." Doocy's co-host, Elizabeth Hasselback, explains why it is all so disappointing. "That's right, Steve," she says, sounding worried. "Only 271,000 new jobs were added last month. That is up from September as well. Analysts were expecting more than 180,000 jobs for October."

Considering 271,000 is more than 180,000, it's a tad strange that the two sound like they're chatting at the back of a church during a funeral. Just imagine if you got all your good news from these folks.

"We regret to inform you that today is Ben & Jerry's Free Cone Day. Stop by any location and, if you're into that kind of thing, get some free Cherry Garcia."

It's almost like it's not really about the ice cream.

[H/T MediaMatters

Jack Holmes Politics Editor Jack Holmes is the Politics Editor at Esquire, where he writes daily and edits the Politics Blog with Charles P Pierce.

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