The Galilee Hitch-Hiker

Part 1

Baudelaire was

driving a Model A

across Galilee.

He picked up a

hitch-hiker named

Jesus who had

been standing among

a school of fish,

feeding them

pieces of bread.

“Where are you

going?” asked

Jesus, getting

into the front

seat.

“Anywhere, anywhere

out of this world!”

shouted

Baudelaire.

“I’ll go with you

as far as

Golgotha,”

said Jesus.

“I have a

concession

at the carnival

there, and I

must not be

late.”

The American Hotel

Part 2

Baudelaire was sitting

in a doorway with a wino

on San Fransisco’s skid row.

The wino was a million

years old and could remember

dinosaurs.

Baudelaire and the wino

were drinking Petri Muscatel.

“One must always be drunk,”

said Baudelaire.

“I live in the American Hotel,”

said the wino. “And I can

remember dinosaurs.”

“Be you drunken ceaselessly,”

said Baudelaire.

1939

Part 3

Baudelaire used to come

to our house and watch

me grind coffee.

That was in 1939

and we lived in the slums

of Tacoma.

My mother would put

the coffee beans in the grinder.

I was a child

and would turn the handle,

pretending that it was

a hurdy-gurdy,

and Baudelaire would pretend

that he was a monkey,

hopping up and down

and holding out

a tin cup.

The Flowerburgers

Part 4

Baudelaire opened

up a hamburger stand

in San Fransisco,

but he put flowers

between the buns.

People would come in

and say, “Give me a

hamburger with plenty

of onions on it.”

Baudelaire would give

them a flowerburger

instead and the people

would say, “What kind

of a hamburger stand

is this?”

The Hour of Eternity

Part 5

“The Chinese

read the time

in the eyes

of cats,”

said Baudelaire

and went into

a jewelry store

on Market Street.

He came out

a few moments

later carrying

a twenty-one

jewel Siamese

cat that he

wore on the

end of a

golden chain.

Salvador Dali

Part 6

“Are you

or aren’t you

going to eat

your soup,

you bloody odd

cloud merchant?”

Jeanne Duval

shouted,

hitting Baudelaire

on the back

as he sat

daydreaming

out the window.

Baudelaire was

startled.

Then he laughed

like hell,

waving his spoon

in the air

like a wand

changing the room

into a painting

by Salvador

Dali, changing

the room

into a painting

by Van Gogh.

A Baseball Game

Part 7

Baudelaire went

to a baseball game

and bought a hot dog

and lit up a pipe

of opium.

The New York Yankees

were playing

the Detroit Tigers.

In the fourth inning

an angel committed

suicide by jumping

off a low cloud.

The angel landed

on second base,

causing the

whole infield

to crack like

a huge mirror.

The game was

called on

account of

fear.

Insane Asylum

Part 8

Baudelaire went

to the insane asylum

disguised as a

psychiatrist.

He stayed there

for two months

and when he left,

the insane asylum

loved him so much

that it followed

him all over

California,

and Baudelaire

laughed when the

insane asylum

rubbed itself

up against his

leg like a

strange cat.

My Insect Funeral

Part 9

When I was a child

I had a graveyard

where I buried insects

and dead birds under

a rose tree.

I would bury the insects

in tin foil and match boxes.

I would bury the birds

in pieces of red cloth.

It was all very sad

and I would cry

as I scooped the dirt

into their small graves

with a spoon.

Baudelaire would come

and join in

my insect funerals,

saying little prayers

the size of

dead birds.