Atheists, agnostics and other secular people aren’t godless heathens – well, actually they are. Godless, that is. And since “heathen” means “non-believer,” that’s true as well. So what’s a godless heathen to do when faced with a wide-eyed 5-year-old asking deep questions about God, the nature of the universe and where Grandpa will go when he dies?

Wendy Thomas Russell, secular blogger at the website for TV’s “PBS NewsHour,” takes on this issue in her new book, “Relax, It’s Just God: How and Why to Talk to Your Kids About Religion When You’re Not Religious.” Think of her ideas as the seven commandments for secular parents. In fact, they can work for anyone looking to raise smart, critical thinking, tolerant and compassionate kids.

1. Seek out community

Religious institutions are great at fostering community. Kids (and everyone, for that matter) benefit from being part of a bigger tribe. Figure out how you can do this by maintaining relationships with extended family, organizing neighborhood get-togethers, joining meet-up groups and hanging out with friends.

2. Ask the big questions

How did the world begin? What happens when we die? Why are we here? Musing about the mysteries of life can be a sublime pleasure. Talk about how different religions, philosophers, scientists and societies around the world have answered these questions. Who knows, maybe you’ll figure some of it out, too.

3. Teach religious literacy

Religions are a rich source of literature, art, history and celebrations. Read books about the great world religions. Try out a few of the unfamiliar traditions. Have friends and relatives of various faiths talk to your kids about their beliefs. Take field trips to different houses of worship and participate in the services.

4. Teach tolerance

Most of us think certain things that some “other” group believes are ludicrous. But your kids are watching you for clues on how to react to others, so you’ll have to suck it up, edit yourself and factually explain the belief and the reasons behind it. “There’s no reason to condemn people for beliefs that aren’t hurting you – they’re comforting them and helping them do really nice things,” said Russell.

5. But tell kids what you believe

Some parents may be hesitant to talk about their own beliefs for fear of unduly influencing their kids or ruining the satisfaction and warmth that can be gained from certain religious ideas. “Don’t hide your truth out of some misplaced sense of fairness or guilt. It’s really confusing for kids,” said Russell. “Truth-telling is a fundamental part of all relationships.” And when something is truly unacceptable to you, such as racism, sexism or discrimination over sexual orientation, it’s perfectly fine to tell them you think it’s wrong.

6. Teach critical thinking

Let your kids challenge you. They’ll develop critical-thinking skills and learn not to blindly accept what authority figures tell them. “If they’re listening to everything that we say and thinking, ‘Yes, I will do that,’ that’s what they’ll do with everyone else in their lives,” notes Russell. Remember that now you may be the “authority” they’re obeying, but next it could be the pack of teenagers they’re hanging out with, or – eek! – their charismatic cult leader.

7. Find deeper meaning

“If we define religion as something that helps us to focus on what’s important, gives our life meaning, inspires us to be better people, then it’s fair to say that, in a way, we all have a religion,” writes Russell. So what’s your “thing”? Music? Nature? Art? What fills you with passion and gives your life purpose? Find it and share its glory with your kids. “Reality is a beautiful and awe-inspiring place … That we are not religious does not lessen the awe for our children,” writes Russell.

In the end, whether we’re religious or not, we’re all just trying to get through life in a way that makes sense to us. And if you can get compassion, a love of learning and a sense of wonder in there as well, even better.