I was set up with Grace by my mom’s friend Pauline. I was a little apprehensive at first, because I don’t love blind dates, but in the end I agreed. I was nervous before the call, but we chatted and made plans to get sushi at this place in Hoboken that I love.

I arrived early. I always do, and Grace was a few minutes late. As soon as she walked in I stood up and said “hi,” and she mumbled something. It was very unclear what she was saying and I wasn’t sure she was the same person I had spoken with on the phone.

The waiter came over to take our orders. I asked for a glass of white wine, and Grace said “I prefer red, I always prefer red.” It was a weird thing to say, but I let it go because I found her attractive. So instead we ordered a bottle of red which I never get.

The wine did help the mood. We laughed, made jokes and talked about our mutual love of old cameras. I mentioned I had a collection of old Kodak’s, and Grace suggested I show them to her.

We left before I had even finished my glass of red wine. I don’t love letting a drink go to waste, but the chance I was going to have sex was all the motivation I needed to leave a cup half full.

We went back to my place, and if I’m being honest things were clumsy. She bit my lip too hard, and I started to bleed. When I pulled my head back I hit it into the wall. Then she tripped over me, and landed on the floor.

Maybe we had too much to drink.

We were laying in bed together and she kept moving my head down to her vagina. It was a little forward. She mumbled something, and said to stop being a pussy, but eat out her pussy. I’m not used to being treated this way.

But then a funny thing happened. I fell in love. I remember the moment. I was laying next to her in my bed, with her head on my chest asleep, and that’s when I felt it. This was a girl I could spend the rest of my life with.

The next morning as we were saying goodbye I gave her one of my antique cameras. She was shocked and told me she couldn’t accept. I told her she’d be doing me a favor, because I wanted her to come with me to the Emmy’s and take pictures there.

“The Emmys?” She said. “Where did that come from?” I told her I knew a guy, and I would be honored if she’d go as my date. She agreed, and I went in to kiss her.

The next day we met up at the airport. Grace was excited and showed me that she brought the camera I’d given her. She took a picture of me.

At the Emmys I couldn’t get a word in. It seemed as though Grace was pretending I wasn’t there. We had seats together, but she kept slipping away. I caught up to her to ask what she wanted for dinner (the chicken or the fish) only to watch her completely ignore me and walk up to Aziz and say “What did you just shoot with?”

Excuse me. You know what he shot with, because it’s the same camera you have. The exact same camera. You know, the one I gave you the other day. Aziz ignored her at first, which gave me some relief.

I walked over and introduced myself as Grace’s date, and then asked Grace if she wanted to dance. Grace mumbled, and made a face, but she walked with me to the dance floor. Aziz went back to the conversation with his friends. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong.

Macklemore’s ‘Downtown’ was playing; I remember because it’s my favorite song. I was hopeful that dancing might lighten the mood. I was pretending I was on a moped, one of my favorite dance moves, and did a little spin, but when I turned around Grace was gone.

She just disappeared without telling me. I mean, who does that? I started looking all over for Grace. But when I went to the bar I found her. She was there with Aziz, and had her hand on his shoulder.

I felt sick. That’s a flirt move. She was flirting with Aziz Ansari on our date to the Emmys! I just wanted to go home. I just put my head down, hunched my shoulders and tried to slip away. Of course in that exact moment Grace saw me and called me over.

I didn’t want to join them, I have pride, but I didn’t feel like I had much of a choice. There wasn’t even a spot next to Grace. They were sitting at the bar, and the only open seat was next to Aziz.

The three of us “hung out.” It was clear I was the odd man out. The two of them were flirting, and ignoring all of my jokes. I used verbal and non-verbal cues to indicate how uncomfortable and distressed I was. Most of my discomfort was expressed in me turning away and mumbling.

I said “I have to go to the bathroom,” and I did. When I returned I saw Grace putting her number into Aziz’s phone.

I wasn’t surprised. The whole night was leading towards this moment. I know I’m not a star. I’m not famous. I’m just a regular guy. I tried taking Grace out on an exciting date. A date to the Emmys. And in return she started flirting with someone else. I was heartbroken.

I turned to her and said “You girls are all the same, you girls are all the fucking same.”

“What does that mean?” Grace said

I started to answer, but Grace’s phone buzzed, and it was a message from Aziz.

We rode back to the hotel in silence. Grace kept texting, and I had nothing to say. I slept on the floor in the room. It didn’t seem like Grace even noticed.

I tried getting our seats switched for the flight home, but the plane was packed and the attendants were no help. We sat next to each other and I had the middle seat.

We said goodbye in the airport. No hug. No kiss. Grace went in for a handshake.

For me, the Grace-Aziz-Babe.net article brought these events back to the forefront of my mind. Reading about Grace’s experience on her date with Aziz, after her date with me was cringeworthy. I think that started a new fire, and it kind of made it more real.

I texted Grace the other day to see how she was after all this. A day later she responded “Who’s this?”