We’re expecting a new foster child to be placed with us soon. Baby B was born today and she’ll be arriving at our doorstep as soon as she leaves the hospital, probably tomorrow or the next day. I am so excited and scared. It doesn’t feel real yet.

When D and K came to live with us last summer, we were told that their mom was pregnant and that the baby would likely go into foster care as well, but there was so much uncertainty surrounding their case it felt like too much to hope for the baby to be placed with us. Over the last six months Adam and I have discussed whether or not we would foster the baby, but we weren’t certain until last month. We let the case worker know that we were interested, and she was very enthusiastic about it. Since then we’ve been trying to get ready.

I think we have all the essential baby stuff we need. We’ve been talking to the kids about it to try to prepare them. D is excited to have another little sister. Every time I bring it up he says, “I want Baby B here now.” He calls K’s doll Baby B and pretends to feed her. K is just two and has no clue what’s coming, so I don’t know what to expect from her. Hopefully she’ll adjust to having a new baby in the house without too much trouble.

I am worried about how we’re going to handle three kiddos. I don’t know how it’s all going to work. I’m worried about the kids’ visits with their mom and how they’re going to go with a new baby in the mix. I’m worried about how much more emotional the case will be–for their mom and for us–with a baby on the line. I’m worried about having my heart broken when I fall in love with this tiny girl and then have to give her back to live with a family that might not do a good job raising her.

Despite all my worries though, I’m so excited. I want a baby in our lives so much–even if it is only for a few months. I don’t know how it’s all going to work or what’s going to happen in the end, but I’m ready. I’m ready to put it all on the line, including my heart, and shower Baby B in love and affection for as long as we’re blessed to have her in our lives.

We can’t wait to meet you Baby B.