A plausible satire of an implausible actual pundit.

First off, when you've got Liz Trotta on your network you've already lost whatever argument you've been going for. Unless you're going for dedicated shill, in which case: proceed. Second, having Liz Trotta on your network to deliver five minutes of commentary about how Obamacare is going to destroy religious liberty because everybody knows employers have always had the right to make religious choices for their employees is really just a bit sad. Nonetheless, Trotta has at it, delivering the lines like a tiny yipping dog going for your ankles, demanding that you both pay attention to it and honor it as the would-be Malamute it is sure it is.

Five minutes of Fox News commentary on Jesus things is really five minutes too many. They don't have the tools for it. You have to be a special kind of delusional to think that Fox News gives a flying damn about Jesus and religious faith and those ever-irritating thou shall not lists that kind of suggest that bullshitting people for a living could be construed as a bad thing. If there were ever a newsroom likely to have a dedicated room for ritually summoning Satan, I'm thinking that's the network for it. Glenn Beck used to have his office next to the live goat stockpile, and that's one of the reasons he's turned out like he has.

All right, Liz, I wasn't listening to most of your little speech, but let's wrap it up, shall we? The interns need your chair for newsroom hockey practice. Give us your best reasoning as to why Obamacare, i.e. that thing that until recently was the most Republican idea for fixing the American health care system ever, is an abomination. Oh right, it's about employers having to provide insurance for things they've been providing insurance for all along but have now decided they don't like:



Some would add that such disregard is deeply rooted in the extraordinary creeping paganism that makes a mockery of the so-called separation between between church and state, not to mention the president's very oath of office. […]

Creeping paganism, now? Is that going to be a thing? You're talking about creeping paganism as a thing America has to watch out for? For eff's sake, I can't even make fun of that. "No Obamacare because creeping paganism" isn't even a Fox News thing, it's an Onion version of a Fox News thing. And I have no idea what you think creeping paganism even means. Will it result in more candy on Halloween? Or just more apples?

Trotta ends on a bang, though, the kind of thing that reminds you why decent people do not tend to hang out with her.



How does the president even dare utter the words of our national anthem while pursuing this blatant attack on an American birthright? And how do Vice President Joe Biden and Representative Nancy Pelosi, both loudly professed Catholics, defend their shilling for this clear violation of church teaching? Biden actually went on record saying Obamacare is no threat to religious liberty. As for Ms. Pelosi, she famously said, quote, "I'm a devout Catholic and I honor my faith and love it, but they have this conscience thing." Re-read your Catechism, Nancy. And by the way, stay out of my local church. Yes, I saw you.

Nothing says "I understand religious freedom" like "stay out of my church."

For the record, what Joe Biden and Nancy Pelosi understand that Liz Trotta does not is that even though they are Catholics, they are not allowed to impose those Catholic beliefs on the rest of the country. (That used to be a big deal in the other direction—crabby, paranoid conservatives convinced that if you elected Catholics to office, you'd soon find America in control of the Pope. Now the same people are all but insisting on it. I also presume from her surrounding miasma that Liz Trotta is for the death penalty despite Catholic teachings, in which case shut up.)

Again, Fox News: If propping up people like Liz Trotta is the best argument you can make against giving people heath insurance, I don't know what you're even thinking. Not that I ever did.