“But it is true that Donald Trump is very popular in India, all right? Some like him because of his anti-Muslim rhetoric, some like him because of his business savvy, and all of them like him because his skin looks like tikka masala.” — TREVOR NOAH



“The other reason this is an interesting trip for Trump is because the Indian prime minister is a strict vegetarian and he does not plan to serve our president meat of my kind. His plan is to serve him vegetarian meals, which is like trying to fill a Buick with safflower oil — it just doesn’t work.” — JIMMY KIMMEL



“So this is going to be hard on Trump. And you know what I was thinking is what’s worse for him is cows are so sacred in India that they’re allowed to just wander around in the city. So can you imagine how hard that’s going to be for him? He hasn’t eaten beef for two days and then he’s just going to start seeing cows in the street? And he’s going to be, like, ‘Oh, my god. I’m hallucinating. All the cows I’ve eaten have come back to haunt me. I’m sorry, cows! I’m so sorry!” — TREVOR NOAH