COMMENTARY

The pick is set, and the Celtics need to trade it.

OK, so the Celtics didn’t win the NBA draft lottery on Tuesday night. They also didn’t lose the lottery, even if it sure feels that way because they landed the No. 3 pick in a two-star draft. They’re the third wheel. When their turn comes up on draft night, Boston will be like Jerry Seinfeld at the register after the bakery sold its last chocolate babka. Plenty of decent options will still be available — look to the cookie, Danny! — but everything will seem underwhelming compared to what they missed out on. And because they just missed out, it’s extra frustrating. That’s the lottery for you. Heading into Tuesday the dream was Ben Simmons or Brandon Ingram, but reality left Boston at a fork in the road.


Path 1: Keep the third pick. Do their diligence on Dragan Bender, Kris Dunn, Jamal Murray, Jaylon Brown and Buddy Hield. Determine which one has the best chance to be the biggest star. Make a decision and own it.

But here’s the thing about Path 1: It’s actually already Option 2. It’s Plan B. If worse comes to worst, sure, Boston will break down the prospects on levels we can’t even fathom using criterion we don’t even know exists, and on June 23 they’ll add another building block to the foundation.

But they don’t want to do that.

That would mark a shift in what we’ve seen since this franchise acquired Isaiah Thomas at the 2015 trade deadline. That’s when the Celtics made it clear that they were playing to win; that they’d let Brooklyn shoulder the tanking burden while creating an inspired, winning culture in Boston. They weren’t going to play young guys simply for experience; they’d only play the players who gave them the best chance to win, and that mentality helped drive consecutive playoff appearances faster than anyone imagined.

But if the Celtics make this No. 3 pick — and even if they’d won the lottery and landed one of the two stars — they’ll be in a position where reps probably start to feel more important than wins; where teaching Dragan Bender the ropes is more important than making an inspired push for the No. 4 seed. That doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Some might argue that taking a step back doesn’t matter because it will be at least a few years before the Cavs are ready to give up the East. Why open a championship window when you’ll spend the first couple years staring at a brick wall with CHOSEN tattooed across its back?


Then again, even if Cleveland has a stranglehold on the East, the conference is wide open after that. Looking at this year’s playoff teams, Toronto might lose both DeMar DeRozan and Bismack Biyombo to free agency. The Hawks have already peaked. The Heat have to worry about re-signing Hassan Whiteside and whether Chris Bosh will ever play again. Al Jefferson, Nic Batum, Marvin Williams and Courtney Lee are all unrestricted free agents in Charlotte. The Pacers’ roster is stable (aside from Ian Mahinmi hitting free agency), but we’ll see what happens with Nate McMillan as coach. The Pistons (especially), Bucks and Magic are getting better, but aren’t quite ready. The Bulls and Wizards are both a little lost. That leaves the Celtics just one legitimate star from making a serious claim as the second-best team in the East, two stars away from really getting Cleveland’s attention, and one breakdown in LeBron’s suddenly aging body from emerging as the Eastern Conference favorite.

That last scenario might sound crazy, but so does rolling the dice on an 18-year-old that averaged 13 minutes last season in Israel. Nah, the Celtics are all set with that. They want the real thing: A proven, established star. At the very least, you know that Celtics president of basketball operations Danny Ainge is going to try for it. He’ll spend the next six weeks working the phones like an Adderall-addled telemarketer and here are eight conversations he needs have.

1. By George!

Hello?

Larrrry!

Damn it, Ainge — is that you?


Larrrrry!

I thought I blocked your number.

That’s why I got a new one, buddy!

All right, what do you want?

I want you to admit I was the best shooter on the ’86 team.

(silence)

I want to hand you the future, Larry.

Listen, I told you I don’t want your stinking draft picks. I don’t want to trade Paul George. And if I did there are better offers — I’d get D’Angelo Russell and Brandon Ingram from the Lakers.

Whoa hold on, you’re breaking up a little. I thought you just said you were gonna give Paul George to the Lakers?

What I said was …

Oh no, give me a second here, Red’s ghost just walked in vomiting all over my office. Just one second. I’ll tell him you were kidding.

Stop being an idiot. This isn’t my style. I don’t want a team built around rookies.

OK fine, but just think about this, will you? We’ll give you the No. 3 pick this year. We’ll give you a very likely top-five pick next year — and next year is stacked. There are like three Paul Georges in that draft. We’ll give you the Nets’ pick in 2018. Larry, I’ll throw in Jae Crowder and RJ Hunter. Have you seen that kid shoot?

Actually no, because he couldn’t get off your bench last year.

Touché.

I want Smart. That kid can play for me.

OK, so Crowder, Smart, this year’s No. 3 overall pick and next year’s Nets pick, and you know what? I’ll throw in the Swedish you – Jonas Jerebko – all for George and No. 20 this year. That’s the offer and you know it’s a good one.

All I know is I’ve got another number to block. But I’ll think about it.

2. New York State of Mind

Good evening.

Phil, how are you? It’s Danny Ainge.

Daniel, how have you been?

Things are good, old friend. You know I’d love to catch up but I’m actually calling about business.

Danny these phone conversations are so cold and impersonal. Why don’t you fly up to Montana and we’ll talk at the ranch.

Phil, the last time I flew to Montana I took a sip of tea and had an hour-long negotiation with an owl.

Oh, you mean Clarence?

Phil, I want Carmelo. You don’t have any picks in this year’s draft. Not even in the second round. I have eight picks. I have a few good, young players. Let’s make this work.

OK, so I’m gonna need Crowder.

I can’t give you Crowder, Phil. This isn’t about Crowder. This is you and Carmelo needing a fresh start.

I’m listening.

I’ll give you the No. 3 pick this summer. You can take Kris Dunn, Jamal Murray or Jaylon Brown. Any of them are a great fit for the triangle. Same goes for Jared Sullinger. You’ve seen him throw an outlet pass, right? So we sign-and-trade you Sullinger. We’ll give you Amir Johnson to make the money work; give you a great locker room presence and some size to back up Robin Lopez and Porzingis. And you want a few second rounders? We’ll give you any two of our last four THIS summer.

OK, so this year’s No. 3 pick, the Nets’ pick in 2018, two second-round picks, Jared Sullinger and Amir Johnson for Carmelo Anthony?

What do you say, Phil?

OK let me talk it over with Clarence and get back to you.

3. Butler Cabin

Hello?

Well if it isn’t Gar Forman, GM of the Bulls.

Who is this?

Sorry for the formalities, Gar. Just want to make sure the readers know who you are.

Readers? What’s going on?

Gar, that’s not important. This is Ainge. You know why I’m calling.

And you know what I already told you: If you won’t give up Crowder there’s no point in discussing Jimmy Butler.

That’s ridiculous. You don’t need Crowder. You need a shake up.

Oh, you know what I need?

You need to face the fact that Jimmy doesn’t want to be in Chicago, Gar. He doesn’t want to play for Fred Hoiberg or with Derrick Rose.

OK. So what do you suggest I do?

I suggest you send Butler to the Celtics. In return we’ll give you the No. 3 pick this summer. You can take Kris Dunn, or Jamal Murray, or Jaylon Brown. These guys can be Jimmy Butler on a rookie contract, and with the cap ready to explode those contracts are more valuable than ever. Those rookies will defer to Derrick and let him be Derrick again. The tension disappears. The hierarchy is in place. Then you use Jimmy’s money to steal Harrison Barnes from the Warriors. Then you take the Nets’ pick — probably in the top five — in next year’s draft. And how about this? We throw in Amir Johnson’s contract year. He’ll fit right in for Noah. And you know what, heck, I’ll give you Kelly Olynyk.

So this year’s No. 3 pick, next year’s Nets pick, Amir Johnson and Kelly Olynyk for Jimmy Butler?

Yes. Do we have deal?

Sure, just throw in Crowder and it’s a deal.

4. Boogie Down

This is Vlade.

Vlade, it’s Danny Ainge. How is it over there in Sacramento?

How is it? Danny, are you paying attention? It’s dumpster fire over here.

Well, I know but …

But what? You have no idea. When you called Vivek was giving his weekly presentation to the coaches. He showed them that old barking dog inbounds play on YouTube. He wants to run it next season with Kosta Koufos.

Listen, Vla—

I ask him, “Why Koufos?” He says “Well, obviously, he’s the most canine” Danny, I don’t even know what that means. He’s crazy.

Listen, Vlade. Speaking of crazy, don’t you think it’s time the Kings and Cousins make a clean break? I mean, you have the new coach coming in. You have the opportunity for a fresh start. I know you’re telling people he’s not on the block, but he is, right?

Danny, if I say publicly that he’s on the block, I walk around looking over my shoulder. I just want peace. Of course, he’s on the block.

OK, so here it is. We’ll give you Avery Bradley. He’s a fantastic kid. He’s a leader. He played with Garnett and Pierce. He brings the toughness and defensive mentality that Dave Joerger thrived with in Memphis — and that, frankly, you guys need. He’ll help you re-sign Rondo.

OK.

We’ll give you the No. 3 pick this year to go nicely with your No. 8. Or how about this? We swap the third and eighth picks this summer, then I’ll give you next year’s Nets pick – a top-five pick in a stacked draft – plus the 2018 Nets pick. I’ll give you Amir Johnson, another veteran presence, on a contract year. And you like Sullinger? Vlade, just say, “Yes.” Salvation is on the other side.

Danny, I …

Vlade it’s right there: Three almost certain top-five picks over the next three years, Avery Bradley, Amir Johnson and Jared Sullinger for DeMarcus Cousins and the eighth pick this summer.

OK, Vivek is taking us on a paintball retreat this weekend. It’s going to be a disaster, but I’ll give this some thought.

5. Doc Hollywood

This is Doc. Talk to me.

Well, look at you, Mr. LA. I’m talking to you, buddy.

Hey, Danny. What’s up? How’s the golf game?

The handicap is up, Doc. My game has been better. You know some of us actually put in long hours on this job.

Oh, stop it. We’re all putting in our 15 hours a week. It’s not my fault this franchise is cursed. What can I do when we keep getting bad luck?

Well, I’m here to help you change that luck.

This should be good. OK, what do you got?

It’s more what you got, or what you’re gonna have. First, you’re gonna re-sign Jeff Green because he’s awesome. He was born to play the four in today’s NBA and you know that better than anyone.

Of course, I do. I know things.

Yup. You know Jeff. You know that he’s a better fit to play the four alongside DeAndre than anyone on your roster. And you remember Avery Bradley? You remember how hard he plays. How much he loves defense? Can you imagine him and Chris Paul starting in the same backcourt? You think the Splash Brothers, or Lillard and McCollum want anything to do with that? You’re gonna have him, too.

But then wh—

And you know all about Jared Sullinger. You remember how seamlessly he fit in with the veterans before that back surgery his rookie year. But now add in three years experience, and you know how effective he can be. He and Bradley played with the core of our championship team. They know what it takes.

You’re calling about Blake, aren’t you?

Doc, he’s run his course in LA. You can’t have him and DeAndre out there together in today’s NBA. And let’s be honest, DJ is the more valuable asset at this point.

You know who had a pretty good game against us this year? Smart. I like that kid. He’s a throwback.

Right. He is. So we’re talking Bradley, Smart and Sullinger, and of course, I’m gonna give you a few picks. How about next year’s Nets pick — a top-five pick in a stacked draft – plus this year’s No. 3, No. 16 and No. 31 this summer?

All for Blake?

Blake and your No. 25 overall this year, and JJ Redick. I need a shooter. And you need this. This gives you character, and depth, and toughness, and former Celtics, and players who have performed well against you in the past. This gives you everything.

OK. I’m late for a tee time, but will think on this.

6. James Beard Award

This is Daryl Morey.

Daryl, this is your old boss, Danny Ainge.

Oh. Hey, Danny. What’s going on?

Nothing much. Just hearing the whispers like everyone else. You really think you’re in trouble over there? I’m here to help.

You know how rumors go, but I’m good. I’ll let you know if anything comes up.

Hey Daryl?

Yeah?

Something came up.

What are you talking about?

You’ve gone as far as you can with Harden.

No way, this is really why you’re calling?

All three Nets picks, Daryl. That’s three top-five picks in a row and next year that pretty much guarantees a superstar.

So why don’t you keep it?

Because this isn’t about me. This is about you keeping your job. And this is how you do it.

(sighs)

Houston is fed up with Harden. They’re sick of his attitude. They’re done with his uneven effort. They will rally behind this move. Heck, you can’t even find a coach that wants to deal with him and Dwight. But now with these picks you can sell everyone on the future.You can buy some time. Also you can have Avery Bradley and your choice of Marcus Smart or Isaiah Thomas.

Isaiah?

I don’t throw his name in there lightly. The guy’s an All-Star. Avery Bradley is an All-NBA defender. We’ll do Isaiah, Avery, this year’s No.3 pick and next year’s Nets pick. You save your job and suddenly have coaches lined up to take that job.

I can’t believe I’m about to say this but …

Just say it, Daryl.

I’ll get back to you.

7. On the Marc

Hello?

Mr. Chris Wallace. How goes it, partner?

Oh hey, Danny. How’s my old office?

Fantastic. I converted into my personal bathroom.

Wait, what?

Chris, I’m joking. But listen, let’s be real. It’s time for Memphis to do something. Mike Conley is a goner. You don’t even have a head coach. You’ve talked about hitting reset on this grit-and-grind era and here’s your chance.

I’m not trading you Marc Gasol.

Well, if that’s the case then you’re making a mistake. Have you seen next year’s draft class?

I’m not trading you Marc Gasol.

Damn it, Chris. You signed Vin Baker. Don’t pretend you know what you’re talking about. This is your chance to finally do something big. Next year’s draft is the closest thing we’ve seen to 2003 and 2008. There are multiple franchise players in this thing and with the state of the Grizzlies, especially without Gasol and Conley, you stand to have two top-five picks. Plus the No. 3 pick this year. Plus Amir Johnson to fill the void at center, and OK.

What?

I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I’ll throw in Marcus Smart. The new face of your organization. A winner. So it’s three first-round picks, Marcus Smart and Amir Johnson for Marc Gasol.

Hmm.

And if you want to get even a little younger, let’s throw Avery Bradley and Tony Allen into the mix. Bradley, Smart, Amir and the picks for Gasol and Allen.

Hmm.

And I’ll put up a plaque in the private bathroom to honor all the work you did for this franchise.

I thought you were joking about the bathroom?

I was joking about joking.

OK, I’ll think about it.

8. Trust the Process

This is Bryan.

Mr. Colangelo, it’s Mr. Ainge. Give me Embiid, buddy.

Danny, Embiid looks great. We’re not trading him.

Well then you’re trading somebody. You’re not keeping Embiid, Okafor, Nerlens AND drafting Ben Simmons. Something has to give, and you should give it to me.

Why would I help you, we’re in the same division?

Why help anyone, Bryan? We’re all after the same thing. Just worry about making your team better and the rest takes care of itself.

Oh, so you’re gonna tell me how to do my job now?

In fact, I am. So here’s what you do. You send Okafor to Boston. You send this year’s No. 1 pick to Boston. We give you this year’s No. 3 pick. We give you Avery Bradley and Marcus Smart. We give you next year’s Nets pick.

So you’re saying …

I’m saying that you start next season with a starting five of Smart, Bradley, Dario Saric, Noel and Embiid. Plus whomever you take at No. 3 this year. Plus the confidence that you’re in line for two top-five picks in next year’s franchise-altering draft.

Damn. OK. Well, I’m obviously going to need some time with this. But I’ll get back you.

*Ainge picks up the phone and calls back every GM, now shopping Okafor and the No. 1 overall pick*

2015 NBA Draft: Celtics’ Picks