The next movie in the ‘Ocean’s’ Universe, ‘Ocean’s 8’, is out now in theaters and I couldn’t be more excited. Let me state first that this movie could be a complete zero and I’d still be excited. ‘Ocean’s Eleven’ is my favorite (not my best) movie of all time. Steven Soderbergh isn’t directing ‘Ocean’s 8’ and despite being a producer I really expect the creativity and twist to be a bit underwhelming.

To celebrate the release of the movie, I decided to rank all the members of ‘Ocean’s Eleven’, counting the Malloy Brothers as one entity. Let’s get into it…

1. Rusty Ryan

Easy choice. Didn’t even hesitate putting Rusty as number one on this list. The slickest guy in the entire crew and always, and I mean always, eating something in the process. Dude is just straight up holding an entire shrimp cocktail while walking around the casino getting intel from Linus.

He’s a jack of all trades and a master of literally all of them. In the movie he impersonates a doctor, helps plan the entire heist, has every detail in perfect order, tricks everyone into thinking Danny was “out” of the plan, leads the fake SWAT team in the heist and fucking taunts Terry Benedict in the middle of his casino. You can’t get any better than Rusty. Him being Danny’s sidekick is like if Michael Jordan had just another Michael Jordan instead of Scottie Pippen.

2. Danny Ocean

It’s tough not putting Danny at number one, but the whole motive of the heist really bothers me. You need to get your lady, without a doubt, but I can’t help but shake my head knowing the leader of the heist tried to pull a fast one on the crew. Him being “red flagged” might have been part of the plan, but Rusty was clearly upset when he learned that Tess was a factor in Danny wanting to do the job in the first place.

With all that slander out of the way, it goes without saying that Danny Ocean is a fucking genius. You do not want Danny to hold a grudge against you because he knows ten times as many people as you and they all like him far more than you could hope to be liked. The guy knows people inside the casinos, high rollers and even hired guns to beat the shit out of people. When it comes to movie duos, nothing beats Danny Ocean and Rusty Ryan.

3. Saul Bloom

As sharp, or sharper, as anyone in the entire crew and he’s a retiree. He spotted Rusty multiple times at the race track. Imagine spotting Rusty before he even spots you? Saul might be the only one capable of this.

He impersonates a high roller, Lyman Zerga, with complete perfection and even fakes his death in the process. Most retirees typically stick to golfing, fishing, metal detecting or watching re-runs of ‘Murder She Wrote’ and ‘The Andy Griffith Show’, but Saul is out there robbing Las Vegas casinos. Not to mention he repels down the elevator shaft… at the age of 79! Incredible.

4. The Amazing Yen

Everyone in Danny’s crew runs the risk of dying, because Terry Benedict can really fuck your world up. But the guy most in danger the entire time is Yen. Probably the most talented person in the crew, Danny’s “Grease Man” risks his own life multiple times: in the air-tight safe on wheels, has his hand smashed in a van door, doing a wild flip from the safe to a server tower and then by being within a few feet of explosives.

He also delivers one of the best lines in the movie when he looks at Danny and Linus after the explosion and says, “Where the fuck you been!?”

5. Reuben Tishkoff

This heist doesn’t happen without Reuben’s support and money. He also has the best motive out of anyone with Benedict set to blow up his casino. Let’s talk about the fact he is a fucking don when he wears the robe by his pool completely open.

That’s such a high roller move. He is pretty high up on the list despite not doing much, but there is no heist if he doesn’t take that meeting with Danny and Rusty and ask which casinos they’re trying to rob as they’re leaving. Reuben also delivers another great line when he asks Linus if he’s Bobby Caldwell’s kid and then pauses to say, “Get in the goddamn house.”

6. Frank Catton

The first person added to the team after Reuben green lights the heist, Frank puts his identity and character at risk in the lead-up to the heist. Being the inside man is such a risky job because if you get caught, the best thing you can hope for is to get the shit beat out of you.

Love how well Frank defines Las Vegas culture as well, the degenerate move of trying to make a bet on if Yen will make the pivotal flip in the vault is such a great moment.

The saddest thing about a potential revival of this cast is the fact we no longer have Bernie Mac, rest in peace. (NOTE: his role in Bad Santa is absolute perfection)

7. The Malloy Brothers

Some might think these two are ranked far too low on this list. Easily the funniest characters in the movie and they have the most roles. They impersonate everyone, from security guards to casino chefs to paramedics and more. Hell, Virgil even pretends to be a wacky guy in a cowboy hat carrying balloons.

I have to dock some points here because they indirectly nearly fuck the whole thing up. They annoy Linus, despite the whole 20-questions Evil Knievel being hilarious, enough to the point where he leaves the van and causes chaos amidst the stealing of the Pinch.

8. Basher Tarr

You could argue that Basher is the smartest person in the crew. The smartest thing he does in the entire movie is knowing that using a Pinch would help them get around their inability to black out the entire city of Las Vegas.

This may be ignorant, but I can’t help but imagine there are other Bashers out there that can cause the blackout. It doesn’t seem simple, but this seems like quite the dime-a-dozen role. I love Basher, so no disrespect to the character, but he has to be further down on the list.

9. Linus Caldwell

Linus is awesome, let me get that out of the way first, but he is the biggest pain in the ass in the movie. There is so much potential here, but we need to be honest with ourselves. Without his daddy, does he even get added to the crew?

He does step up big time with his role as Sheldon Willis of the Nevada Gaming Commission, but even his key lines are likely being fed into his ear from Rusty. I know he remembers the backup batteries for blowing the vault door. I get it, he’s a very important part, but he almost torpedoes the stealing of the Pinch and he really doesn’t utilize his pickpocket skills in the movie.

10. Livingston Dell

Livingston also has an argument as the smartest guy in the crew. His technical skills really allow everyone to have a watchful eye on the casinos and infiltrate phone calls and the security cameras. But come on, there’s plenty of “electronics” specialists out there. The guy is an absolute nervous wreck and he turns down Frank’s bet proposal on Yen’s flip in the vault. Completely lame ass move.

I also stood behind the actor who played Dell at a bagel place (I think, I am like 45% positive) and he ordered a flagel, one of those flat bagels. That’s just embarrassing.

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So that’s it, those are my rankings. Who do you think is the best ‘Ocean’s Eleven’ member? We will be reviewing ‘Ocean’s 8’ on next week’s Lights, Camera, Barstool (subscribe here) and dropping a review blog on Monday morning. Make sure to rate the movie below (in the month of June link).

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