Characters We Love – Grimace

July is the month of Independence, not just for America, but fkin France too. ‘Merica did it first, and One-Quest is made in America. So, for our selection of a totally rad and significantly bodacious character, this month we decided to go within the realm of the most iconic feature of American culture: Fast food baby!

Not just any fast food either, we’re rolling McDonalds! So prepare your McNuggets for awesome sauce as we talk about Grimace!

The Grimace is…….

Uh, what the hell is Grimace? Doesn’t matter, this is ‘Merica! We don’t need to know what he is to love him! Hell, most people in our country blindly love most things they claim to “love”. That’s how Apple got so big and that’s how our Presidents get elected, so why not love a big unidentifiable purple monster?!

Maybe I was reaching a bit with that last bit…

Wikipedia will tell you that Grimace first appeared in November 1971 as a four armed evil milkshake swindler. A year later he was reimagined and made a good guy. He had a great-grandma named Jenny Grimace and a brother who was King of the Grimace! This is the part where we break off and go on a rant. . .

King of the Grimace! There’s a king? Then someone please explain to me, why didn’t McDonalds cast the fkin king of what was once, I’m assuming, a race of giant 4 armed milkshake thieves? He had to be so bad ass…

Wait, you’re telling me there’s more than one Grimace?! He’s named by his mutant race and doesn’t go by a name like Jenny?! What the hell is a Grimace?!

‘Merica!

Anyway, here’s why we love him:

He’s purple, best color ever

He makes us all feel just a little bit smarter when we take a look at him

I’m pretty sure they modeled Patrick from Spongebob after him. I’m not buying the starfish thing at all. Think about it.

In America we love big things, he’s not only big he’s cuddly too!

Walnuts was gonna dress up as him for a child’s birthday at the Mickey D’s