Jackpot. A Delicacy. Unicorn-rare. Let the pleasure of this liquid luxury fill you. A soda so good, you probably shouldn’t even tell others it exists. Hide it. Drink it all yourself. I’m only telling you about it because it’s my duty. Buy it in bulk.

Near perfect. After drinking down its last sips, you’ll miss it. The flavors, the memories, the wonder: so many great qualities. You’ll crave more, but it’s just missing that special thing that makes it unforgettable... kind of like my ex.

It’s good. It’s not great, but worth a buy and try. It’s got flaws, but so do you man, so back off! Usually worth another go 'round. When thirst beckons, it answers.

This soda will try to convince you it’s worth the effort and it might taste ok for a few sips, but it is NOT good. We're heading in the wrong direction now.

Putrid. Pour in sink. Walk into room. Go to bed. A day-ruiner. Start fresh tomorrow.