Charlotte and Claire Hart were killed in 2016. (Photo: Luke and Ryan Hart)

Two years ago, our father killed our mother, Claire, 50, and our little sister, Charlotte, 19, with a sawn-off shotgun before proceeding to kill himself.

This act followed nearly three decades of controlling and coercive behaviour.

My brother Ryan and I had been saving up money to break my mother and sister out from our family home, and relocate them to a small rental house five miles away. We managed to scramble together enough money and move them just four days before they were killed.

In the days after their murders, we were struck by media reports of people who said they ‘knew our father’ and described him as ‘a good man’, someone who was ‘always caring’ and ‘good at DIY’.




We began to realise that there’s a great deal of moral accounting in the media when men murder women, and from that we have come to two conclusions.

One: society doesn’t considers women’s lives to have much intrinsic value.

Two: when our father chose to kill, culpability was aimed at our mother and sister and specifically, on their decisions.

Luke, with his brother Ryan (Photo: Priya Dabasia, Super Being Labs).

We read articles that questioned why they hadn’t left earlier and whether our mother had an affair. Some people believed their continued subordination would not have ‘caused’ our father to kill them.

We were struck by how they, the victims, could be questioned so incessantly, while our father was, eulogised.

The media narrative sets a very low bar for men indeed, preferring to blame weapons for murders, short skirts for rape, or alcohol for assault – anything but the agency of the man responsible.

Why, then, does society think that men kill?

Various explanations include ‘difficult childhoods’ or ‘uncontrollable male emotions’ and ‘provocation by the victim’. Often killings are blamed upon ‘mental health’, ‘divorce’ or a ‘cascade of events’ that left the abuser with no option but to kill.

One of the reasons men are known to kill is to maintain their control and firm grip over the lives of their subordinates.

As young men, we know that there are no intractable, evolutionary, emotional problems within men. Issues are embedded within our collective belief systems and we all have a responsibility to change these beliefs to save lives.

Our tragedy taught us that the family environment can foster patriarchal domination and it is where abusers isolate their victims to enforce their dogmatic totalitarianism.

This type of behaviour must be challenged most strongly at home.

(Photo: Luke and Ryan Hart)

In the two years since our tragedy, society’s beliefs have barely changed.

Earlier this year Stephen Searle, a former UKIP councillor was sentenced to prison for killing his wife. Following the verdict, former UKIP colleague and politician, Bill Mountford, said he was ‘equally sorry’ for both his friend Stephen and his wife – despite one being a victim, and the other a murderer.

Mountford told the BBC: ‘I still regard Steve as fundamentally a decent man who has found himself in circumstances beyond his control.



‘I’m not condoning it in any way but I was very, very sad to hear of Steve’s conviction. I’m well aware domestic disputes can get out of hand but I feel equally sorry for both Steve and his now deceased wife.’

Following our own tragedy, the police said that the event was ‘incredibly rare’.

Yet, two women are killed every week by a current or former partner in England and Wales.

My brother and I recognise the moral obligation that we have as young men to challenge the destructive narrative that is responsible for this shocking statistic.

It is crucially important that we recognise gender violence has little to do with emotions or loss of control, and far more to do with the masculine-fundamentalist belief system that existing gender stereotypes reinforce, and irresponsible reporting continues to propagate.

The police found that our father had been online researching the topic of killing his family, and I truly believe his thoughts were reinforced by the biased reporting he saw.

For this reason, in the last year Ryan and I have produced our book, Operation Lighthouse, to bring light to these issues.

I initially wrote this book for Ryan.

It was intended as a way to communicate pain too raw and unyielding for us to address in person, too deep and enduring to discuss in spoken conversation.

The book grew into a collaborative project between the two of us. However, we realised that we had to broaden that dialogue, or we risked condemning others with our silence.


We want to break past the isolation that allows domestic abuse to be perpetuated.

We want to overpower the silent collusion and tackle the consequences of the dangerous patriarchal structure of our society.

We hope that our book can illuminate the true causes of gender violence and what we can all do to end its destructive reign.

Those in abuse need help to guide them to safety, for which we all have a responsibility, much like a lighthouse guides a ship at night.

We hope our book can begin this journey but ultimately, it’s something we must all do every single day.

Need support? Contact the National Domestic Violence Helpline If you’re in an abusive or violent relationship, you can get help by contacting the National Domestic Violence Helpline on 0808 2000 247. All calls are free and confidential, and the helpline is open 24 hours a day.

MORE: My sister’s suicide came after years of abuse – it must not be the only escape for victims

MORE: New app provides help to those facing domestic abuse

MORE: Sons of man who killed wife and daughter reveal their ‘lifetime of struggle’