Here’s a value: Don’t lose sight of the fact that, no matter what fate has just befallen you, you are still a multimillionaire who lives in a very nice house in a very nice neighborhood in a very nice country. Even while despairing, we should be able to recognize how insanely lucky we truly are. We should be able to remember what our moms told us, that there are starving children in Africa (and on every other continent) who would love to eat the infinite number of vegetables we can buy with our American Express Platinum cards and have delivered to our front doors by Amazon.

Here’s a value: While we are on the subject of money, it’s probably best not to mention the millions you are contractually obligated to receive to a room full of 18- to 22-year-olds, many of whom are from absolutely nothing.

Here’s a value: If you feel the need to say, “Fellas, this all stays here” to a room of 100 people in 2014, you should definitely not say whatever you are going to say next. It will get out. And, in related news, it probably shouldn’t be said even if it doesn’t.

Here’s a value: When saying you would rather work at McDonald’s, it’s probably best to show as much professionalism as your average McDonald’s night shift manager.