November 21, 2015









Domestic violence laws are designed





Sean Gaffney describes how they

helped impair his health and

destroy a lifetime's work.





















Makow comment- As comments indicate, a side effect of domestic violence laws is that many men no longer have any respect for the "law" and that is not good for any society.

















by Sean Gaffney

(henrymakow.com)









This was a wake up call for me after decades of marriage. I had heard of other guys having troubles; never expected this would happen to me.





A few days after my wife moved back after being at her boyfriend's place for a couple months, we were quarrelling. [I learned later from her boyfriend that she had had two dozen affairs over the course of our 26-year marriage.)





She was trying to kick me out of our lakefront home. I was the one paying the mortgage; she didn't have to work.





I held onto her arm to get her attention. All I said was "you don't get it".





She said, "you can't touch me"; left the house and called the police.





I wasn't expecting the police; saw three of them coming up the steps, opened the door and welcomed them in. They asked what happened; I told them.





The female police officer in charge said she had no choice. Once the police are called, an arrest has to be made even though she could see I was not upset or angry. Ontario has made arrests mandatory for all domestic "incidents". She was very considerate throughout the arrest process.





I got handcuffed in front, instead of behind my back. At the detachment, I was put in a cell. I spoke to a lawyer who said I would be released shortly, which, he said, never happens. I got to go home an hour later. As I left, one of the arresting police even wished me well. I sought out a female lawyer that came highly recommended. Cost was $2000.





When I appeared at court the first time, there was a mix up. My Lawyer had sent me on my own. I got overlooked; court was dismissed for lunch. When I came back the place was empty. The Crown Attorney told me an arrest warrant would be issued even though he said it was their mistake. At the next appearance, I was represented and ordered to take an 'anger management' course.





Fortunately, the lady giving the 'anger management' course, which cost me another $2000, saw through all the injustice. She sympathized with the guys taking the course. One had been stabbed by his wife. (There were no women taking the course.)

I was told I could have been teaching the course. About six months into the process, I had a paralyzing stroke partly from all the stress.





It was a learning experience.





With the help of the anger management coach, not my Lawyer (who aggravated the Crown), the charges were dropped after a year.

I think all the guys I know who have been through the system, have been decimated; costing tens of thousands; losing access to their children, losing their house, etc.





My advice. Stay calm. Don't say anything about what happened (I didn't know this). Ranting at the police won't get you anywhere.

So I came through the process differently than most. My wife has moved on. It probably cost me less than five grand and a bunch of wasted time. But the divorce cleaned me out. I am living on old age assistance.





Domestic violence lite.





I call it a learning experience.





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