Seven Ways to Have More Balanced Relationships

1. Live your life by your priorities. The first step to create balanced relationships is to know your priorities in life. ​

Identify your priorities and be clear with your partner what they are. A healthy relationship is based on open and honest communication.

An example of a priority could be, you need "you" time. You may have identified and know that you "have to have" time by yourself to recharge your batteries and restore balance. And if you don't get time on your own, you "know" it will impact on your emotional well-being and your relationship. 2. Do what makes you happy! Do you prioritize your partner's needs over your own by making sure you're available when they're free for you? If you want to go out with your friends, say so and do it. If you keep saying no and putting the needs of your partner (or perceived needs) before yours, you will become unhappy and resentful.

How many times have you said "no" to friends because you were hoping to do something special with your partner but it doesn't work out because they're too tired, too busy, or there's not enough money, etc, etc? You've prioritized your partner's needs over your own by making sure you're available, "just in case." The tricky thing is, maybe prioritizing someone else over yourself became a habit in past relationships, which can make you feel temporarily unbalanced. You only have to change one response by making a conscious choice and it changes the balance in your relationship right away.

If you want to become financially independent and go back out to work after being a stay at home mom, go for it!

If you want to take up a new hobby, do it! This does not mean you are excluding your partner and your relationship, you're enhancing it.

You will be happier when your needs are met, and when you do see your partner, you will both have more to talk about. You will be more attractive to your partner because you're happy; we're more attracted to happy people! 3. Boundaries. Know your boundaries.

When you move away from your boundaries your life will feel unbalanced. Be clear with your partner, what is acceptable and unacceptable to you in your relationship.

We all have different limits, so your partner must know what they are; they're not a mind reader.

An example of a boundary for you could be: "To be in a monogamous relationship."

The thing about boundaries, they change and evolve. What was a boundary for you when you were in a new relationship may no longer apply. What makes people feel safe one minute may not be needed the next. So how do you keep track of what's a boundary for you, let alone your partner, and vice versa?

Quick Tip The easiest way to know a boundary has been crossed is when you start to feel unbalanced. You may start to feel angry or resentful, which is an indication that one (or more) of your boundaries has been crossed/violated.

On the other hand, when you see your partner getting angry, or sense resentment, that can be an indication you may have crossed one of your partner's boundaries. Your partner may not know you've crossed a boundary, or which one has been violated, they just know they feel unbalanced, irritable, and maybe angry.

4. Don't be a punching bag for anyone!!!!

Just because your partner feels comfortable enough with you to show their true self (show you they're having a bad day), do not be an emotional or physical punching bag for them! It is their crap, and it is "NOT OKAY" for them to verbally or physically attack you so they can feel better!

You are 100% responsible for your issues, situation, and feelings! Own it.



Your partner (and everyone else for that matter) is also 100% responsible for their behavior and issues. They need to own their behavior. Do not own it for them!

When your partner tries to "off-load' their problems and issues on to you, and blame you for their situation—stop it and shut it down straight away, particularly if they are shouting, yelling, and/or getting physically abusive. ​

If you don't like the way you're being spoken to, say so and walk away. Let your partner know you're available to listen when they have calmed down. ​

On the other hand, when your partner feels upset about something, it is important to accept their feelings as valid. Do not dismiss or ignore your partner's feelings, as I'm sure you would not want anyone to minimize how you feel.

Try to come from a place of love and curiosity about your partner's situation, but it is important that your partner OWNS it and takes full responsibility for their predicament and does not put it on you and make it "your fault"!

Important Note!

If you do not feel physically and/or emotionally safe in your relationship, consider why you are in it and if you're better off ending things. If you feel unsafe, please contact a local emergency support agency to ensure your immediate safety so you can leave the relationship! If you don't feel safe enough to contact a support agency, tell your best friend, a person you can trust to get help!

