Choosing sides when it comes to partisan politics can be tricky, but not for Jeremy Classon. This innovative free-thinker believes he can be socially liberal and fiscally conservative and everything will just make sense.

We’re blown away that even in adulthood, someone still truly believes you can be both!

“I care a lot about the many social issues plaguing this country,” Jeremy said. “But I also care about making sure the government spends as little money as possible on doing anything to fix those issues.”

Jeremy went on in an attempt to explain his stance.

“Sure, I’m against any laws that limit people’s freedom, like preventing gay marriage or abortion,” said Jeremy. “That doesn’t mean that my taxes should go to economic safety nets that ensure those people don’t starve or die from preventable illness.”

Friends of Mr. Classon are just as astounded by his brazenly antithetical approach to his personal politics.

“I don’t know if he realizes that his political opinions don’t make sense,” said Florence Whitman, a close friend of Jeremy’s. “He can’t be all for ending the school-to-prison pipeline and then be totally against funding public schools. That’s just stupid.”

“It seems like he’s just latched onto a worldview that only helps others if it doesn’t require any effort on his part,” added his brother-in-law Kevin Daley.

But Mr. Classon remains firm in his stance.

“We need to find creative solutions to our country’s problems, like legalizing marijuana,” he said. “But if that solution costs me money it’s probably not necessary. Does that make sense?”

It really doesn’t, Jeremy! But we’re impressed!