Leading up to the 2016 presidential election, between PJ Media and my personal blog, I wrote close to 30 #NeverTrump articles. In fact, I’m pretty sure that I was among the first to suspect he was a contender. All the way back in 2015, I began to wonder if Donald Trump was being underestimated by the powers-that-be in D.C. Sitting in a BBQ restaurant in Arlington, VA, that fall, I asked some of my friends who are part of the D.C. elite movers and shakers about Trump. They laughed dismissively, and explained why he was going to disappear.

“Sure, he’s polling well now,” one friend conceded. “But the people who are responding to the polls don’t vote.”

Well, as we all know, history was not kind to my friend’s prognostication.

Over the next few weeks, I began to wonder if my friends weren’t overlooking the anger and fear among conservative voters. So, in January of 2016, I wrote my first #NeverTrump article. And as many readers of PJ Media can attest, I did not let up.

After the inauguration, I was mostly silent about President Trump. Being a conservative Christian, I take the Bible seriously, which means that I take Romans 13:1 seriously when Paul commands: “Let every person be subject to the governing authorities.”

While not a full exegesis of the verse, I believe that Romans 13:1 means that we are to respond respectfully to the president, even in disagreement. Not wanting to foster a spirit of rebellion in those who didn’t vote for President Trump, I decided to keep my thoughts to myself. Frankly, and to my surprise, in the main the president has done very little to raise my ire. That’s not to say that I don’t have some serious disagreements with some of his policies, actions, and words, but that would be true no matter who is president.

So, since President Trump was sworn into office, I have been mostly disengaged while assuming that I would once again refrain from voting for him in 2020. But the nomination of Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court and the subsequent sexual McCarthyism that attempted to destroy this honorable man have me reconsidering.

To vote or not to vote for this president was first revisited by me while sitting in a restaurant this past Sunday evening.

Two friends joined my family at our favorite local restaurant. For those who are unaware, which is surprisingly quite a few, Arlington is right next to D.C. In fact, for a brief time in the early 1800s, what is now Arlington was part of the District of Columbia. So we were eating dinner about four miles from the anti-Kavanaugh protests. By the looks of them, I wouldn’t have been surprised to discover that many of our fellow diners had come to that restaurant after protesting.

Sitting at the table across from us were a “militant”-looking lesbian couple and two transgender persons. Scattered throughout the restaurant were people who looked similar. The demographics in the restaurant that evening aren’t unusual for this area. What’s unusual, if not downright strange, for this area is that those at our table bowed our heads and gave thanks to God for our food.

But, with the protests in my mind combined with our table conversation about Kavanaugh, I was acutely aware that if people knew who we were or overheard us, we would most likely be unwelcome in that restaurant.

As we talked, puzzling over the refusal of people to respond to the facts and not just their feelings, I looked at my two kids, sitting at the end of the table between me and the table described above. I also thought about the calls from leftist protesters for other leftists to harass and abuse conservatives.

Facing the prospect of violence, I silently reflected on Donald Trump, Brett Kavanaugh, and the current political climate. Leftists want to hurt my family. Not all leftists, of course, but enough to be more than just worrisome. Whenever my family bows our heads in public to pray, we’re a target. Whenever I have a conversation with friends about what we believe, we’re a target. Just existing as conservatives makes us a target.

“What would’ve happened if Rubio had been elected president?” I wondered.

The answer is that he probably would’ve caved and pulled Kavanaugh’s nomination, further emboldening the growing violent hatred of leftists. Sitting in that restaurant, I could envision many scenarios where my family would be at an even higher risk of suffering violence if any of the other GOP candidates had won.

Surprising my friends, I think, I blurted out: “I understand why people voted for Trump, and I’m not sure that I won’t vote for him in 2020.”

When push comes to shove, especially regarding the protection of my wife and kids, I understand the desire to have a person who stays on point and isn’t cowed by resistance. President Trump, for all his faults, stands up to the leftist bullies. I just read a tweet from Politico claiming that “Trump is not most presidents.”

Exactly.

Maybe, just maybe, there is a time to wage aggressive war against the forces of evil.

Maybe, just maybe, President Trump is the only Republican with the capability of ending Roe v. Wade and saving the millions of babies that will be murdered by abortion otherwise.

Maybe, just maybe, President Trump is the only one willing to stand up and actually do something about the leftists’ encroachment into our society.

I’m still not sure how I’m going to vote in 2020, but I think I get it now.