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Popular anime torrent and streaming sites have implemented new features earlier this week which require all users to type at least one paragraph explaining why they are morally justified in pirating anime. According to an FAQ posted on Nyaa, users are encouraged to make up statistics about the anime licensing industry, accuse Crunchyroll of up-scaling videos, and make empty claims to support animators.

Administrators at the various sites in question admit the feature was added as a response to overwhelming public demand.

“All these years I’ve been pirating anime and no one asked or cared why,” an emotional user by the name of AmendmentZeroTwo told Anime Maru. “Now I can finally tell the world how morally superior I am for not paying money to watch Japanese cartoons.”

Notices on the websites have made it clear that excuses such as “I can’t afford a streaming service” or “this anime isn’t available in my country” are not acceptable; only dubious, unsubstantiated claims that defy reason will be considered.

“I was surprised when I logged onto KissAnime and saw the prompt for the first time,” anime fan AhegaoReviewer told Anime Maru. “At first, I said I didn’t want to wait for Netflix but it didn’t let me into to site — I got very confused.”

“Then I accused Funimation of pushing their social justice agenda via translations. I topped it off by saying that all the Blu-rays that I totally buy help animators far more, and Crunchyroll uses its new office to put chemtrails in drinking water and it let me in.”

“I’m the one actually saving the industry,” said AhegaoReviewer.

According to insiders, manga piracy sites are expected to follow suit later this month, requiring manga readers to perform similar feats of mental gymnastics to explain how not paying for content actually helps creators more.

For now, sites are also encouraging users to share their hitherto unnecessary rationalizations of piracy on Twitter, along with stolen art and support of Vic Mignogna.

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