Obviously, the man in this Viagra commercial is all about making babies.

Obviously, the man in this Viagra commercial is all about making babies.

The answer on Viagra coverage is usually yes, Catholic leaders say. And they argue that's neither hypocritical nor sexist. Procreation is something the Catholic church encourages. And Viagra and other erectile dysfunction drugs can be of help.

According to the Catholic Church, birth control is "intrinsically evil" and requiring insurance companies to cover it is a "grave moral concern." But a man's right to take magical hard-on pills, like Viagra, and to have them covered by his insurance? Why, that's sacred Ohhhhhhh. So when Bob Dole started shilling for Viagra at the age of 75, obviously, it was because he was concerned about men not being able to impregnate their wives, right? That's why all the ads you see for erectile dysfunction medication feature sad young childless couples who just want to be able to procreate, as the Catholic Church dictates. Right? It has nothing to do with old men who can't get it up and apparently can't figure out how to please their partners in a non-insert-penis-somewhere way. Or they just don't care.

But don't worry. The Catholic Church is on to those few men out there who are considering taking the pill for non-procreative purposes:



Still, Richard Doerflinger of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops tells me that many Catholic-based health plans are now adding caveats that such drugs "should be prescribed for a medically identifiable problem to prevent wide abuse."

So Catholic-based health plans warn patients that they should only be taking hard-on pills for the serious "problem" of not being able to get it up to make babies and not for the dirty, sinful problem of just wanting to get laid. Here's your magic pill, sir, but please remember, it's for baby-making only. Wink wink.

After all, that's the only not-sinful reason to have sex, isn't it? Just ask poster child for Catholic sharia law Rick Santorum. He'll tell you why he wants to take away contraception, even from married couples, because it just lets them enjoy sex, and God knows how wrong that is:



It's not okay because it's a license to do things in the sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be. They're supposed to be within marriage, for purposes that are, yes, conjugal ... but also procreative. That's the perfect way that a sexual union should happen.

Yes. How things are "supposed to be." Everyone knows sex is only supposed to be between a married man and a woman who want to have babies. Or, you know, between a priest and an altar boy.