What does Gary Johnson know? After yet another easily avoidable televised blunder in which the Libertarian presidential candidate failed to name even one leader of a foreign country that he was fond of, it’s a fair question.

If, by some miracle, Johnson were able to cobble together enough support to reach the 15% threshold to qualify for the debates, that would be the only question I would want answered. Just two minutes of Johnson rattling off things he does know. How many eggs in a dozen? That’s a snap, Anderson. It’s 12. Where are babies made, Mr Johnson? Well ... something about mommies and daddies loving each other, right? Who let the dogs out? Wow, that’s a tough one, Anderson. Can I get back to you after I consult with my advisors? I happen to be heavily courting the dogcatchers’ union.

Better yet, this could make a remarkable game show for those lonely summer months when the American broadcast networks air human dart tossing and Family Feud. I’m certain that Are You Smarter Than Gary Johnson would be a smash hit on Fox or The CW. Corral some 12-year-olds and see if they can spot China on a map before Gary. If one of the schoolchildren is successful, they get to debate Trump and Clinton in his place.

If you think it’s scary that a presidential candidate polling around 8% nationally can’t identify the name of the city undergoing one of the most horrendous humanitarian crises of the last 30 years and is incapable of recalling any of America’s numerous foreign allies, you are not alone. If you see my hypothetical game show in which prepubescent moppets are more aware of global affairs than Gary Johnson, remember we have a real-life game show host running for president.

Donald Trump, a man who is happy to admit he doesn’t read, may become our commander-in-chief. If he does, these so-called “Aleppo moments” will become a daily fixture in our lives. What does Donald Trump know about the European Union besides cheeky Brexit slogans, floppy-haired twit Boris Johnson and where the nearest former Soviet bloc beauty pageant is? Oh right, he doesn’t even know that Belgium is a country, not a city.

Why, then, does the media treat Gary Johnson with indifference mixed with condescension while happily cutting into regularly scheduled programming in order to broadcast Trump’s announcement that after eight years, he can finally accept all the clear evidence that Barack Obama was born in the United States?

It should give us all pause that Gary Johnson and Donald Trump, while a great distance apart in the charisma department, are equally as unqualified to be president. In the most terrifying election of my lifetime, we must face head-on the system we’ve created. It’s one that rewards sloganeering, platitudes and retweets. It’s one where regurgitating promises – lower taxes, crushing Isis, legal weed! – is all one needs to rally voters.

Everything Clintonites accused Bernie Sanders of – pie-in-the-sky ideas, lack of foreign policy experience simple solutions to complex problems – is actually true of Johnson and Trump. And there’s also Jill Stein, whose campaign currently consists of reminders that she’s sort of like Bernie Sanders, complete with her own stash of “dank memes”.



A vote for Gary Johnson is a vote for a man who has proven on more than one occasion that he knows very little about the rest of the world, who gets indignant when he is challenged on that fact and who has seemingly made no effort to close this knowledge gap. A vote for Gary Johnson is a vote for a less hateful Donald Trump – a man who looks more like a game show contestant than a game show host. If that’s what you’re looking for in this election, then you’re in luck. If you are, then my one question to you is: why?