To the Editor:

Re “Where Went My Empty Nest?,” by Charles M. Blow (column, Aug. 19):

I finished college in 1961 and, living at home, found a nice little clerical job, turned over my paycheck to my parents, helped with housework and considered myself the model child. Imagine my shock when my mother told me, after a year, that it was time I moved on. What would they do without me? Why would they want to do without me?

And it was without doubt the best thing they ever did for me. I borrowed money — not from them — went to graduate school and moved to New York. I learned to be an adult and responsible for my own life. And they got to get on with their own lives.

And yes, I was still there to help them deal with the vicissitudes of old age. Mr. Blow has a right to want his children to stand on their own feet and not his.

Judith G. Bartlett

New York

To the Editor:

Don ’t push them out! These can be the best years of all. Twenty-five years ago our daughter returned from the Peace Corps in Africa with her soon-to-be husband on a fiancé visa. They moved right into our house and stayed 15 years. During that time they saved for the down payment on their home. Our grandchildren came along and we were there to help. We have the enduring joy of being important in their lives.