Have you been relationtripped? (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

You’re on your second date when you mention you’re seeing someone else that weekend, and their face falls.

They look absolutely miserable. They can’t believe you’d go on a date with someone else when you’re feeling such a connection. Don’t you like them? Aren’t you having a good time?

You quickly feel absolutely awful, despite knowing full well that you’re entirely within your rights to see other people. You’ve never committed, you’re not exclusive, it shouldn’t be a big deal… but you still feel guilty.

You’ve just been relationtripped.




Relationtripping is a dating trend (that yes, we here at Metro.co.uk have just coined) that describes the act of guilt-tripping someone for not being 100% committed in the early days of dating.

Get it? Relationships, but with guilt-tripping. Catchy, we know, and not to be confused with the 2017 Relationtrip, which focuses on a couples’ road trip.

If you watch Love Island, you’ll have seen relationtripping in action last night. If you don’t, remain calm, we’ll keep this bit brief.

Lucie has been expertly relationtripped by Joe after two days and one kiss (Picture: ITV)

When surfer and model Lucie went on a date with Tommy Fury (which wasn’t actually her decision, might we add), she returned to the villa to be greeted by a very pouty Joe, who was apparently heartbroken that the girl he had known for two days had interacted with another man.

This is a pretty blatant example of relationtripping, because Lucie is literally on a reality show in which she has to engage romantically with multiple people. It’s called Love Island. The point is to find love by dating other contestants, not immediately commit to the first guy you lay eyes on.

Also, Joe met Lucie two days beforehand. That makes his reaction quite disproportionate.

The results of Joe’s relationtripping have been a mixed bag thus far. Lucie definitely does feel guilty (despite doing nothing wrong), having cried in the villa. But she also feels pushed away, as Joe seems a tad possessive.

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We’ll have to see how this relationtripping saga plays out over the next few days, but in the real world you can see plenty of examples.

No, you won’t be on a dating show and made to go on a date with a boxer. But perhaps you’ll have been talking to multiple people on Tinder, and decide you need to meet them each in person before you make any decisions.

A relationtripper will be outraged that you would be interested in anyone else but them, despite having no rights to your time or focus.

This might happen before you’ve even *gone* on a date, or a couple weeks in when you’re not actually exclusive.

A relationtripper will go full steam ahead, talking all about their feelings for you and how committed they are, all to make you feel guilty for not being ready to make a commitment.



As you might expect, that’s major red flag.

Jessica Leoni, relationship expert at dating site Illicit Encounters, said: ‘Joe has effectively signed his Love Island death warrant in the first 48 hours.

‘He is rightly being called out for being manipulative and getting way too heavy with poor Lucie. Viewers won’t like it and Joe will be on his way home if he is nominated.

‘Seeking exclusivity in the very earliest days of dating rarely ends up working out. If you feel unduly pressured to commit when you are still feeling your way, my advice is to walk away.

‘The rules of dating have been changed completely in the last 10 years – particularly because so many of us are meeting new partners.

‘We all like to graze a little before committing to a new pasture. There is nothing wrong with that.’

Dr Becky Spelman, relationship expert at We-Vibe, agrees, noting that pressuring a relationship in the early stages can be a sign of bigger issues to come.

A relationtripper will make you feel guilty for not being ready to commit (Picture: Ella Byworth/Metro.co.uk)

Dr Spelman tells us: ‘Nobody should feel guilty about wanting to take things slowly at the beginning of a relationship – it is normal and healthy to want to take some time to get to know each other.

‘In the worst cases, excessive possessiveness is a red flag. It can be a sign that someone has jealousy issues – and this can sometimes escalate to dangerous behaviours such as stalking and domestic violence.

‘Obviously, nobody is suggesting that Joe is going to become violent merely because he feels slighted, but he does appear to have some deep-rooted issues with jealousy and possessiveness, which may be related to underlying problems with self-esteem.


‘This is definitely something that he should be aware of and try to get under control, because women are understandably cautious around men who have even slight tendencies in this direction.

‘Whatever your sex, if you find yourself taking it personally when a potential partner doesn’t commit to you right away, or feel that something is being “stolen” from you if they talk to or look at someone else with interest, you need to take a long look at your own behaviour, because the chances are that it is coming from a place of low self-esteem, and you may be vulnerable to feeling tempted to engage in damaging, or even violent, behaviour.’

Of course, relationtripping shouldn’t be confused for your own commitmentphobia.

A relationtripper is someone making you feel rubbish for not being committed far too early on. If they’re expecting exclusivity or the relationship hasn’t been defined after months of dating, it’s reasonable that they could feel a bit upset.

Sometimes committing early on isn’t a bad thing. It’s down to whether you feel pressured into it or if you’re just as head over heels.

Annabelle Knight, sex and relationship expert at Lovehoney, says: ‘Being pressured to go exclusive in a relationship can be a red flag. It does suggest a neediness which is never attractive.

‘But having said that, if it feels right, go for it. Just as I would never advise not sleeping with someone on the first date if that is what you want, I also wouldn’t advise against going exclusive early if that is what you both want. But it has to be mutual.


‘You need to judge the situation carefully and react to the signals you are getting from a new partner.

‘[But] applying pressure too early is never a good idea.’

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