Okay, this story is so disturbing I’m not sure where to begin.

A city in Turkey has equipped the local morgue with the latest gadgetry in case any of the bodies stored there have been declared dead by mistake.

It seems alarms and motion detectors in the mortuary will detect the slightest movement if one of the bodies emerges from a coma or unconsciousness.

The story says they took this precaution because the locals are afraid of being buried alive.

Well, who the hell isn’t?

But I think a more important point here is that the story says the town isn’t otherwise known for its modernity.

So, let me get this straight. This cutting-edge technology is going to be put in the hands of people who apparently have trouble figuring out for sure whether I’m dead or alive?

It gets better. The morgue’s refrigerators are being fitted with interior door handles to allow their occupants to climb out of their coffins and open the doors. Seriously.

All I know is this. I would pay good money to be there watching on a moonless night, with thunder pounding and lightning flashing outside, when, with an eerie creak, that refrigerator door starts to open….

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Top: “The Premature Burial,” 1854.

Right: Actress Eliza Dushku in a 2004 publicity photo from her television series “Tru Calling,” in which she portrays a clairvoyant young morgue attendant.

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