1. BORE DA (Boh-ray Dah)

We start with a universally accepted phrase of welcome: “bore da” (Good morning!). Even if you’re in the foulest of moods or have the meanest of dispositions, it is virtually impossible to say “bore da” without it sounding like a cheery and friendly greeting. For example – “Bore da: here is the new Muslim ban we’ve been working on.”

'Popty ping' is not the Welsh term for the microwave oven, sorry.

2. FFWRN MEICRODON (Foo-rhn May-kro-don)

Let’s get the myth out of the way now. “Popty ping” is not the Welsh term for the microwave oven, sorry. A literal translation would be “the oven that goes ping”, which, while being very Pythonesque, and incredibly funny, isn’t actually true. The Welsh word for microwave is “meicrodon” – “meicro” being Welsh for micro, and “don”, the mutated word for ton (tohn), literally means wave. And “ffwrn” just means oven. I know. Dull, isn’t it?

And on the same subject, the Welsh word for jellyfish is not “pysgodyn wibli wobli” (puh-skod-in wibbly wobbly), or, in English, wibbly wobbly fish. Lord alone knows what comedian came up with that one, but it’s fairly new in the lexicon of non-existent Welsh words. For many years, the official Welsh term for the jellyfish was “cont y môr’, academics have recently changed it to “sglefren fôr” (skle-vren vore = sea skater).

3. SBIGOGLYS (Sbee-Gog-Liss)

The Welsh have always been a creative bunch when it comes to naming fauna and flora, but there’s a simple and joyous beauty to the word “sbigoglys” as the translation for spinach. Whether it’s the saag bhaji at your local Indian restaurant, or fine dining at 5-star establishments, the word “sbigoglys” takes a lot of the pretentiousness out of the culinary environment. For dessert, you could also order yourself a peach melba in Welsh. Melba is just “melba”, but the peach is known as the “eirin gwlanog” (ay-reen glan-og) – literally translated as woolly plums.