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The unfairly balanced ag(ogre)lomeration tax foisted by Big Sister Montreal upon crabby “independent” West Island municipalities (WIM) is a soap opera that promises to outrun Day of Our Lives (or should I have mentioned Canadians’ favourite fare, Coronation Street?).

Certainly, like buying a hot dog at a Habs game, WIM satellites ain’t getting their money’s worth; it’s blatant legislative opportunism on the part of Hotel-de-Ville, almost like a punishment for voting to separate. Someonehas to pay for the fancy downtown washrooms, why not bitch-slap the disloyal? (So Beaconsfield is suing. Yaaaay!)

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I don’t know why the Liberal Party-encrusted West Island fractions don’t draw out a plan and stage a referendum (“I can’t believe it! Did that hack Schukov just use the R word?”)and move toward becoming a separate city: WIM. I don’t know why, because that would require extensive research into the machinations of municipal merger superimposed by provincial control by a nationalist party that would fall over backward laughing at the odds of that being allowed. (I am pausing to take a breath … okay, we’re back.)