They’ve finally done it!

Say Hello to the Cockmaster 4000 – the next big leap for man.. many, many of them at that:

We’ve reached peak engineering.

After a series of groundbreaking laser measuring techniques, science finally managed to map the gigantic cave of your mothers vaginal walls. 3D print has played a large role in it and we are to believe it’ll be enough to satisfy her promiscuity. – Miķaël Zolfan (Head *wink wink* Engineer)

It was a ballsy project and took some of the leading experts on board (your mom) to achieve what has been done.

Structure has been erected standing at over 12 feet and 4 inches – they are proud to bring you the world’s largest dildo – the Cockmaster 4000.

Absolute finest in German engineering.

*Woken News is a satirical news website and our articles are strictly for entertainment purposes. Explore our “About” page for more information.