Right wing Christian wingnut Dave Daubenmire has raised some eyebrows with recent remarks claiming that anyone who masturbates is gay. Oh, Dave…

Daubenmire hosts a podcast called “Pass the Salt Live.” And in a webcast earlier this week, he claimed:

“Masturbation is a form of homo sex. You’re having sex with yourself. That’s homo sex, folks. It’s a male having sex with a male. That’s homo sex. If a woman masturbates, that’s a woman having sex with a woman. That is a form of lesbianism. I mean, what else would you call it?”

Related: The official Mormon guide to homosexuality and masturbation the Church doesn’t want you to see

We have a few ideas about why Daubenmre might be so uptight, but we’ll hold off on the obvious. Apparently, he also believes no heterosexual person has ever masturbated.

Daubenmire is not the first Christian commentator to assert this bizarre logic. Pastor Mark Driscoll made similar remarks several years ago, saying “Masturbation can be a form of homosexuality because it is a sexual act that does not involve a woman….any man who does so without his wife in the room is bordering on homosexuality activity, particularly if he’s watching himself in a mirror and being turned on by his own male body.”