Let’s face it guys, anal sex is very pleasurable. It’s the feeling of a tight hole around your penis, the site of a nice and ripe ass, and the presence of a sexy woman typically bending over in front of you. But, how come every time you end up asking your lady to have anal sex, she often replies with a, “no.”

Because anal sex has a bad reputation. All the girls say that it’s painful, not fun, and quite dirty. However, there’s no shame in having anal sex with your partner, as long as you do it the right way (and make her comfortable in the process).

Relax Her Mind

If her mind is not relaxed, she will most likely be stressed and anxious that a penis is about to enter her anus. And, before relaxing her body, or playing around down there, you must relax her mind.

The key to this is communication. Talk it out beforehand. Make sure she knows and understands that you’re not going to hurt her. Tell her what you plan to do and how you plan to do it, so that there is no miscommunication or surprises on her end. In the process of doing this, make sure you assure her that you will go slow and presume at the pace that she is okay with. Also, communicate to her that you will not do anything she is not willing to do, and that you will stop if she asks you to. Once she’s agreed upon it, then it will be easier to move onto the next step.

Remember, if she doesn’t come to terms with it and agree on pleasing you this way, it will hurt her, and in turn will not be pleasurable for either of you. You must be willing to take your time and make sure that she is 100% okay with it.

Relax Her Body

Your next step is to relax her body, so that she is ready for your penis to enter. If she is tense and clenched, that means her anus will be tense and clenched. This will result in a very painful experience, and you do not want to start sex off like that.

So, relax her body with a lot of foreplay. Go ahead and kiss down her body, suck on her nipples, eat her out, play with her clitoris, and slowly slip a finger up her anus. Do it all. The more you do, the more relaxed she will be.

Take your time doing this. Make sure you pick and choose the right things to do to her that really turn her on. That way, the experience will end up being pleasurable for the both of you.

Choose a Comfortable Position, For the Two of You

Once she’s relaxed and you’re ready, decide on a position that will be comfortable for the two of you.

Choose a position where she can be totally relaxed, such as one where she is on her stomach. She should have no worries while having anal sex, so make sure she doesn’t have to maintain a position, such as being the one on top. There should be minimal effort coming from her in the process.

Also, choose a position where there is easy access to the anal opening. If there is not easy access, sex will be discomforting for her, and rather painful.

I suggest doggy-style. This allows her to lay on something, preferably a bed or pillows, as well as allows for easy access.

Use A Lot of Lubricant

This should be a given, considering women’s anal opening cannot be stimulated the way a vaginal opening can be.

Never have anal sex without a lubricant. It can be extremely damaging to the woman’s rectum and can cause an enormous amount of pain and bleeding. Remember, the anus is not meant for having sex. So, prepare the opening with extra lube.

Water-based lubricants are a good option because they will not break the condom and they will work extremely well when trying to enter the anus. Oil-based lubricants are not good when using a condom, as it will break the latex. If a condom is not used, you can use an oil-based lubricant (getting a condom stuck up a woman’s anus is also extremely uncomfortable).

Stay away from lotions and creams, as they are too thick and do not help in lubricating the anus. Spit does not lubricate enough and would therefore cause way too much pain for the lady.

The best lubricant for anal sex would be a silicone-based lubricant. This makes penetration very easy and will not break the condom.

*Use extra lubrication in her anus, on your penis, and on your fingers for the best satisfaction*

Relax Her Butt

You’ve relaxed her mind, you’ve relaxed her body, and you’ve chosen a comfortable position. Now, relax her butt with your fingers before inserting your penis.

Apply lube to your fingers and gently caress the anal opening. Kiss, nibble on, and suck on her ass. Massage her butt, the outer opening, and slowly slide a finger in her anus. Start by using your pinky finger, and then work your way up to the largest finger. Go slow and gentle, giving her time to get used to each fingers size.

Make sure to talk to her throughout the entire process to make sure she’s doing okay. Once you start fingering her, remind her to breathe slowly and relax her muscles. The more relaxed she is, the easier it will be to work each finger, and finally, your penis, inside of her.

Make sure you pay attention to her reactions. If she needs you to slow down, do so. If she needs you to stop, stop. If she doesn’t seem like she can handle your fingers, stop, and try again another time. Remember, the key is to go slow and gentle. If she needs more time, give her more time to get used to the sensations.

Never put your penis in first, this is not a vagina. It will not be stimulated easily. Work your way up. Once she’s comfortable with it, the two of you can enjoy each other during anal sex.