It’s the new year! Many people are going to be flooding the gyms in search of the motivation to succeed at those new years resolutions. Unfortunately, only 8-20% of new years resolutions are kept, which means there is a high probability of your failure. Sorry, those are just the facts. So , if you are setting fitness as your new year resolution, let’s first say WELCOME! We are glad you are joining the gym, and we want you be part of the very small percentage of people who succeed. We do get a little annoyed by our gym, which is like a second home to some of us, being bombarded with new faces of people wandering around wondering what to do, hogging up the equipment, and being annoying. So, let’s help you NOT be THOSE people, instead let’s help you succeed! I hope you find people to help you in your new journey, and FOR FUN, I have put together a list of unspoken rules of the gym, gathered from many people in my lifting community, so that you can feel more confident in your fitness resolution. All opinions were consolidated, and toned down into the following list, which is not entirely my own opinion! If you are easily offended, you might not want to read this post! It is meant for entertainment purposes, and to give you a little idea of some gym rules that might help you out.

I think this is the most important one, and following it will keep you from being the person that bugs everyone! Re-rack your weights, and put away dumbbells! Unless you have a very attentive trainer, or your mother, following you around the gym to make sure your weights get put away, PLEASE do it! For one, its rude to leave a bar loaded when you are done, and two, no one knows you are done, so they wander around for 10 minutes, wasting precious time, asking people if someone is using the station. Plus, your dumbbells on the floor are a tripping hazard! You are an adult, put your toys away! Re-racking weights is actually better than cardio ;). And lastly, leaving 600 pounds on the leg press is NEVER OK!!! When you put your weights away, please put them in the right place! Don’t just randomly put your dumbbells in an open spot on the rack. They are in order, keep it that way! And don’t pile 45 pound plates in front of 5 and 10 pound plates on the plate tree. There is order for a reason. Speaking of weights, do not remove plates or put away dumbbells that are not yours unless you have double and triple checked that no one is using them. Someone may just be getting water or emptying their bladder in between sets. Make sure you ask people around you and give it a little time before you touch the weights. The squat rack is for squats! Do not use it for doing curls, doing sit-ups, warming up by jumping over the bar, stretching with your rubber band thingies, doing a hula hoop or anything of the sort! There are some exceptions, at least in our gym. There is only one deadlift rack, so if all other open space is taken, you may deadlift at the squat rack. If you are doing stationary lunges with the barbell, that is OK. If you are doing straight leg deadlifts, and you take the bar off the safety arms to start, also OK. Doing weighted overhead shoulder press is also OK, if the gym is not slammed and people are not waiting for the racks. The dumbbell rack is for holding dumbbells. Don’t do your set directly in front of it. Other gym members need access to the dumbbells, so get your weights and back your booty away from the rack! Share equipment! It is OK to let someone work in with you, especially if the gym is busy! Don’t do an 8 machine circuit during the busiest time of day, and leave your crap on all 8 machines to save them. That is asking to have your gym bag drop kicked across the gym (true story), or getting into a yelling match in front of everyone (also true story). So learn to share, you need to rest between sets anyway. You might even make a new friend! But DO help put weights back as they were after your set if you are working in. And when you are done with a machine, don’t linger, make it clear you are done and back away. On that note, unless someone is using their crap to “reserve” 8 machines, and it needs to be drop kicked, don’t touch or move anyone’s stuff! They know it is there, so leave it alone. Unless you feel someone actually forgot something, and you want to take it to the front desk, then don’t touch! Speaking of hogging equipment, NEVER EVER sit on a machine between sets and text or play on your phone. This is a classic newbie mistake and will lead to other gym members glaring at you! Get off the machine and go somewhere less annoying to do your texting, we are trying to work out here! Keep the gym flowing, everyone has a limited amount of time to work out, so don’t clog up machines. If you are a sweaty, dripping exerciser, please don’t leave puddles of sweat on the machines. No one wants to train in the pool of your bodily secretions! Clean up! And if you are wearing the same clothes over and over, do a sniff test before you walk into the gym to work out. Keep extra clothes in your locker or gym bag in case your clothes reek. Also, if you are dripping sweat, please don’t offer to spot someone, especially bench. No one wants to taste the fruit of your gym efforts as it drips from your forehead when they are attempting a new PR. If you sweat like a pig, please carry a towel to dry yourself off. And don’t leave tissues or paper towels with sweat, blood, or any other bodily secretions in the gym. Throw it away, PLEASE! Speaking of smelly stuff, PLEASE do not drench yourself in perfume or cologne to work out! The gym is not the place to show off your new scents! Many of us are sensitive to the chemical plants you spray onto yourself. I don’t need to smell you coming before I see you, nor do I need my eyes burning, my lungs shutting down, or my migraine exploding during my workout because you bathed in chemicals. Also, if you smoke, please bring smoke free clothes to the gym, as we prefer not to workout next to your stench of ashtray. On that note, if you eat a ton of garlic for health reasons, know that you can possibly smell TERRIBLE when you sweat! I know it has really beneficial health benefits, but please tone it down if you are a garlic sweater! Ask your friends if you are one of the people that emit garlic sweat by having them do a sniff test after you eat it. If you spot someone, don’t touch the bar! You are there to help him/her if they fail, not help lift the weight! You could ruin their PR and ruin their day if you touch that bar! Don’t be an ego buster! Never try to spot someone who is deadlifting! It is not necessary! Don’t walk in front of someone doing reps in front of the mirror. We are watching our form, we don’t need to be blocked by your giant head. Also, don’t start posing in the mirror next to someone training, or stand directly behind them, it’s just creepy. Selfies….unless you are training for a body building competition, ease up on the selfies! One here and there to record your progress, or to do a blog post is fine. And if you have a competition coming up and are monitoring progress, by all means selfie away! But when you are new, and you spend 30 minutes in the locker room mirror, or any other gym mirror, trying to get that perfect “hashtag starting the new year hard core at the gym” selfie, you are annoying. And if you spend as much time working out as you do trying to tell people through selfies that you are working out, you may actually make some progress working out! If there is a posing class going on for body builders, you may see bodies in very little clothing! Please don’t stare with a creepy sexual lust, and don’t complain to the front desk that you are offended. Those people posing are getting ready for a competition, and have likely been here way longer than you. I assure you the gym owner will not ask them to stop. Wearing a belt for every set of everything you do makes you look….well, like you are showing off! Belts are very helpful in some lifts, but they are not necessary for everything you do at the gym. Don’t do it, you will get stares. Lifting gloves are known as sissy mittens. I used to wear them, and I learned the hard way. You may think you look cool, but you don’t. Calluses are trophies, wear them proudly, or stick to yoga. If you are grunting, you better be hitting it hard! Don’t just grunt for the sake of making noise and drawing attention, it makes you look insecure. For the same reason, don’t walk around after your set making all kinds of “look at me” noise, acting like the bad ass that you most definitely are not. This also applies to dropping the weights to look like some sort of alpha, or to impress the girls. Control the weight up AND control the weight down. Don’t vibrate the entire gym floor dropping weights, and possibly break the plates because you are trying to show off. This will get you kicked out. Men, don’t stare at female lifters. There are lot’s of nice bodies in the gym, and yes, they wear short shorts. Short shorts are easier to lift in, they are not being worn for your viewing pleasure, so don’t be a creep. If you can’t control yourself and your lustful thoughts, stay away from the gym! Also, don’t rush over to spot a female lifter unless she asks! We don’t want “the jewels” hanging above our forehead on bench or you grabbing our boobs in a squat….we will ask for help if we need it. Women, if you are wearing super short cheekies and nothing but a sports bra because you ARE trying to get the sexual attention of men, knock it off! Take it to the strip club and grab yourself a pole, we are trying to work out! FYI, the bar is not a stripper pole! In all honesty ladies, you are better than that. You don’t need to dress to draw the attention of men, you are training to be a bad ass, and that’s all that’s important. Shaker cups are for shaking, combining liquid with a supplement powder of some sort. It is not for just water. Note this and respect it. You won’t look cool just for having one….although I use mine to mix Himalayan salt because I can’t get the salt in my regular bottle….but technically I am still mixing something! Don’t work every body part every day in the gym! That is not healthy, and you will lead yourself to a swift burnout. Research, read, and learn how to space out your workouts. Don’t walk around giving advice, especially if you are a newbie! If a seasoned lifter sees someone doing something that will actually cause them harm, then it is OK to step in. But do it tactfully, like saying “I used to make this mistake, and I would like to save you from injury” or “your form is mostly great, but you might want to tweak this movement a little bit”. Or if you see someone walking around confused on how to do something, then step in and be helpful. If I see someone hyper extending their knees on the leg press, I ALWAYS say something, because I do not want to see someones knees break backwards…..I’ve seen videos, and it’s not pretty! But you are not the gym coach, so offer advice sparingly as necessary only! If you don’t know how to do something, find a seasoned lifter and ask! We are more than willing to help you out and keep you from injury, or keep you from looking like a fool! Don’t be intimidated, step up and be willing to ask for the help you need. Or, invest in yourself and get a trainer to show you the ropes. But NEVER walk around talking to strangers just to tell them your stories. Keep conversations and questions brief…we are working out. And, seasoned lifters, if someone asks for help, don’t laugh, be rude, or act snarky! We were all newbies once, so help them out! They want to succeed, not feel ashamed and intimidated! If you see someone lifting heavy, don’t go up and tell them how much you USED to lift BACK IN THE DAY. No one cares what you USED to lift, all that matters it the here and now. Don’t do lunges, burpees, kettle bell swings, jump rope, stretching or jumping jacks in the high traffic areas of the gym. There are places for those, find them. Don’t load the bar with a bazillion 10 pounders to make it look like more weight. Use the 45s, it actually makes you look way cooler! Headphones…people wear them to keep you from talking to them. Although I think it interferes with the community aspect of the gym, respect it. Unless you really need to tell them something important, leave them be. Make sure to hand motion them before you start speaking, or they won’t hear you and you will look silly. But under no circumstances are you allowed to speak to someone during a set. Unless you are their trainer or workout partner, and are offering words of encouragement, wait until they are done. You could cause them injury if you distract them! Don’t walk up to a swole gym member and ask what they are taking…it is not your business. If you ever want to ask for advice on legal supplements, that is OK, but do it when they are not busy working out. Blue-toothing on the phone in the gym confuses people! We think you are talking to us when you are not! Take it outside. Don’t talk to other gym members while you are butt naked in the locker room, It is creepy. That is all on that subject! My favorite….Deadlift STARTS at 135 pounds. For newbies, that is the bar loaded with a 45 on each side. Exceptions are if you are coming back from an injury, have injured body parts that can’t tolerate a heavier warm up weight, are a child, or are an older member of society. Now, new lifters don’t usually jump into deadlift. Deadlift is a lift you do specifically to develop strength. Some people do a modified form of deadlift using a kettle bell, or some other weight, and it is being done simply as part of an exercise routine. This statement does not apply to those people. This statement applies to those trying to build strength. Newbies are REQUIRED to learn good form to avoid back injury, so they are allowed to use lower weight. Deadlifting for the first time can be intimidating, and that is what the lower weight, large diameter bumper plates are for. So, DO LEARN PROPER FORM! Deadlift is an amazing exercise when done properly, but we don’t want any back injuries, so don’t go at it alone, definitely get guidance. Before you know it, 135 (or more) is what you warm up with and you will understand this rule. Lastly, some good advice from a fellow lifter: Don’t skip leg day, EVER. You’ll be that guy with big shoulders and skinny legs. Do pull movements (not including deadlift or variants) more than pushing movements Train abs directly with the ab wheel roll outs. Sit ups don’t really do anything. Don’t use the scale, use the mirror and a measuring tape! If you are not gasping for breath and the muscle/body part isn’t burning, you are not working hard enough. Don’t be afraid of pain. Don’t start out too easy, push yourself. Lift something heavier than your purse for goodness sake! Ladies, you will never bulk up like Arnold, so don’t worry, I am trying, and it’s not happening!

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