Danny Drinkwater is set to miss England’s World Cup campaign due to being hospitalised with dehydration. The news serves a devastating blow to the national team, who will now have to face the World Cup without their talismanic, £35 million midfielder.

High Press News were among the media frenzy outside of the Hospital For Sick People in Chelsea where resident Doctor John Obvious had this to say, “Due to the patient’s name, we never ever thought this would happen. Most Danny’s tend to stay well hydrated.”

Gareth Southgate has come out in support of the midfielder releasing a statement via the FA’s official Twitter which reads: “If Danny is to make the squad he’s going to have to down 6 Lucozades or something. What’s the world record for downing Lucozades? It’s actually 6? I think I could do that.”

Our thoughts, prayers and bottles of coconut water are with Danny and his family.

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