PalmCon is one of the most depressing places I've ever been to in my life. It was basically like going to a mall in which every store sells the same couple of dust-covered items and every person looks like they work at Hot Topic. I had sort-of high hopes for my first comic book convention -- not because I like comics (ew) but because I really love dumb hats and costumes.

Unfortunately, not many people at PalmCon were interested in dressing up, and quite a few looked like they had stumbled inside on accident. They were probably pretty bummed out when they realized they had just paid $9 for access to a room in which the opportunity existed to access a smaller room and spend more money on terrible-looking pizza.

See also: Allie Conti's response to the overwhelming negative reaction toward her PalmCon post

Literally the best thing I can say about the whole experience is that the Palm Beach County Convention Center is really close to I-95. Highly appreciated. That said, some people there were having a lot of fun. I don't understand it -- but hey, I really wish stacks of old Duck Tales comics were enough to shake me from my jadedness and misery. Naturally, the majority of the people digging PalmCon were those who dressed up. There's a critical distinction between anime conventions and comic book conventions, which is something I didn't understand before making the drive up to West Palm. People tend to dress up more for anime-related events than comic book ones. Given that PalmCon gave off the same vibe as a nursing home, the few people who attempted to wear special outfits made me want to cry. They roughly fit into five categories. Bless all of their hearts, collectively.

See also: PalmCon at Palm Beach Convention Center (Photos)

Mighty Morphin' Power Throwbacks This guy tried to explain that the Green Ranger was actually two people, one who was good and another who was evil? Is that true?? I think I've probably spent about a week of my life watching Power Rangers as a kid, but I have absolutely no idea what that show was about. I guess you should admire commitment to anything, even if it's misplaced. But seriously: Who knew people cared about this show?

Women Looking for an Excuse to Wear Revealing Costumes Every Halloween, there's a girl who decides to dress as like a sexy Dalai Lama or a sexy pickle or something. It doesn't make sense, but people don't complain because boobs. Nerd events are apparently no different. PalmCon was this woman's first convention, and she wasn't dressed as anything in particular. That didn't stop countless older men from taking lots and lots of creepshots of her.

Attention-Seeking Divas He really, really wanted to have his picture taken. One would think that if he wanted to be photographed badly enough to interrupt another photo I was taking, he would not completely obscure his own face.

Mallrat Kids Oh man, your mom only gave you $10 to spend at Hot Topic? Mine too, and she said I have to get picked up in front of the food court at 8! It's tough to be a tween.

Cutesy Couples This just made me think about how weird it would be to have a shirt with your girlfriend's face on it.

See also: Slideshow - PalmCon at Palm Beach Convention Center