Well, it didn't all happen today. It's been a gradual thing for me. You see, I was a lifetime church goer until a few months ago. I won't bring up all the crap I've gone through in the last year, but all that crap really made me question everything, including my faith. I came to realize that my faith was pretty ridiculous. I'd refrain from doing "bad" things, give money to my church, and pray. None of it made any difference really, so I began to question.

If god loved the world, why did he allow such horrible things to happen to it? Why would he throw people into hell if they were "saved"? My church also believed in "pre-destination" meaning god chose you, and didn't choose to save others. Well, then I asked, how is that fair?

Losing my beloved cat was my final straw really. It's been 4 weeks since my cat was home. I've prayed and prayed that my cat would come home. He hasn't. I stopped to think today about how meaningless and empty my religion has been my whole life. Then it hit me - it's all made up. There is really no basis in fact that I can tell. Sure, it's reassuring in tough times to be able to pray to some greater power and think that something will make things right for you. Well, that doesn't always happen.

Anyway, after much questioning, I find myself writing this diary. I'm an atheist now. There's no going back. Atheism just makes since while my faith just didn't.

OK, I am sure I will be flamed for this, even here at Daily Kos, so flame away.