Alabama Becomes First State To Ban Discrimination Against Mullets

MONTGOMERY, AL—Earlier this summer, California became the first state to ban natural hair discrimination.

Not wanting to be outdone in the employee rights department, Alabama has become the first state to ban discrimination on the basis of mullets. Employers cannot ask you questions about your mullet, ask you to tame your mullet, or say anything suggesting mullets are anything but the best hairstyle ever invented.

"Your employer can't discriminate against you just because you're all business up front and all party in the back," said Governor Kay Ivey as she prepared to sign the bill, tearful mullet rights activists gathered around her. "Whether combed straight or permed, having a mullet is a human right and a key part of Southern culture, and we will defend that with the full force of the law."

"Feel the power of the mullet!" she added, throwing up the sign of the horns before the capital band began to play the state's official anthem, Lynyrd Skynyrd's "That Smell."

The state is also considering banning discrimination on the basis of the number of teeth you have.

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