The Vancouver Canucks are the lowest scoring team in the league and it’s not even close.

Even with their three-goal outburst on Saturday night, the Canucks are still averaging just 1.58 goals per game, dead last in the NHL. No other team is averaging less than two goals per game; that’s how utterly atrocious they’ve been at putting the puck in the net.

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And so, after four shutouts in the last six games and eight straight losses, I have something to say to the Canucks. Or rather, sing:

Yes, this is a parody of Bastille’s “Good Grief” that I had no choice but to call “Real Good Grief.”

Here are the lyrics:

So, which one of you little maniacs is going to score first?

Watching through my fingers, watching through my fingers

Hutton tries to dump it in

Goes in one end out the other, one end out the other

Shooting wide right from the point

And you’re missing every scoring chance, missing every scoring chance

Watching through my fingers, watching through my fingers

Dreading every power play

When they’re whistled for a penalty, whistled for a penalty

Centring pass is cleared away

Oh, they’re killing it so easily, killing it so easily

Who’s gonna be the one to score to help you win it?

Who’s gonna be the one to score, oh

Every minute of every hour

I wish you, I wish you, I wish you would score

Every stumble and each misfire

I wish you, I wish you, I wish you would score

Watching through my fingers, watching through my fingers

Signing Loui Eriksson

Did you expect another 30 goals, expect another 30 goals

Keeping Swedish bros we love

It’s such a shame they’re in their late thirties, shame they’re in their late thirties

Are they gonna be the ones to score so you can win it?

Are they gonna be the ones to score, oh

Every shift of every power play

I wish you, I wish you, I wish you would score

Every stick break and each misfire

I wish you, I wish you, I wish you would score

Watching through my fingers, watching through my fingers

Every minute and every hour

I wish you, I wish you, I wish you would score