It’s unfortunate that you had to take the job and actually start working to figure out that this is what “family friendly” means to this one firm. But now that you are there, what can you do?

Go to a cafe with a standard sheet of paper. Think hard about two goals: what you want your career to look like in five years and what you want your home life to look like over the same period. List 10 items under each goal that you feel you will need to check off to get to where you want to be. For the bottom half of each list, either hire an assistant to help you and/or aggressively fudge it.

For instance, you should outsource as many personal tasks as you can, like paying bills or buying groceries. And Holy Mom of Gosh, do not clean anything ever at all if you can help it.

Even if you are short on funds, it is worth it for you to go into (potentially further) debt at this time to pay for as much day-to-day help as you can get. You should use the pain of any outlays to motivate yourself to ask for a raise at every opportunity. The firm is really who should be paying for the re-righting of your capsized work-life balance. Because they lied.

As for the job, check back in a year or two with your lists. If the job isn’t going to get you there, look for another one. But keep in mind you will never change this firm’s ridiculous definition of “family friendly,” and you should not bother trying to. That said, you can do any future employee a good turn when you interview them by defining this perniciously vague phrase in the context of this particular firm much more precisely.