Facebook is under attack from all sides, for things like supposedly censoring conservative content, definitely not censoring racist content, selling user data, and the fact that Mark Zuckerberg is about as effective a crisis manager as Courage the Cowardly Dog. We don't want to sound like we're piling on, but we're absolutely going to pile on. Or did you forget how ...

6 Facebook Has Always Been A Fan Of Data Crimes

It's a garbage fire now, sure, but Facebook wasn't that bad when it first started, right? There was no fake news, hate groups weren't emboldened to meet anywhere outside of their leader's basement, and your asshole relatives weren't constantly asking you to sign up for their multi-level marketing sch- actually, that one's a universal constant.

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But the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, and Facebook originally started out as the fruit of a very poisonous tree: Facemash.

Columbia Pictures

Created in 2003 by Zuckerberg, Facemash was a website that allowed users to compare how hot two randomly selected Harvard students were ... using photos that he hacked from the student database in a drunken rage against all womanhood. The thing is, this wasn't even his first idea for what to do with the site. He originally wanted students to be compared against farm animals, but only stopped because (as he wrote on his blog), "you can't really ever be sure with farm animals." That's a rather cryptic statement, left mostly up to interpretation, so we choose to interpret it as Zuckerberg admitting to bestiality.

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Zuckerberg was disciplined for violating student privacy and downloading school property in the harshest manner possible: a verbal warning. He returned to the dorm with a new reputation as a bad boy and some insight into the human psyche, saying, "People are more voyeuristic than what I would have thought."

This is what's known in the industry as "foreshadowing."