ANYONE who does not have a fanatical love of babies is committing a crime, it has been confirmed.

The public has been told to report anyone who is not totally enraptured by babies and their activities, such as eating food and looking at things.

A Mumsnet spokesman said: “Babies are delightful, so by extension anyone not thrilled by them is evil.

“Everyone should look out for the tell-tale signs of baby indifference. It might be a colleague having a glazed expression when you’re telling them about various types of pushchair, or a shop assistant not initiating banter about sleepless nights.

“These fiends will hunted down and tried in front of a Mumsnet jury.”

Mum Donna Sheridan said: “Having a baby is the most amazing thing you can do that doesn’t require any particular skill or talent.

“So when my friend Sarah started checking her texts while my baby son was experimenting with a fascinating new way of moving his leg, I didn’t hesitate to report her.

“I hope she rots in a Mumsnet prison ship.”