I've been following the Toronto Maple Leafs long enough to know those who have a stake in this fiasco of a franchise need three distinct beers to get them through a season.

Fans need something, season after futile season, to drown their sorrows and dull their pain. No joyous celebration type malt beverages here.

The rotating cast of players picked up by the Maple Leafs -- this year, they include future Stanley Cup heroes such as Zach Sill and Tim Erixon -- will need good beer to help them adjust.

And finally, players traded away from the Leafs to greener pastures will want to celebrate their good fortune with some spectacular Ontario craft brewery selections before leaving town.

Milos Kral, proprietor of Milos' Craft Beer Emporium on Talbot St. just a short walk from Budweiser Gardens, is a craft beer expert, a lifter of spirits, and a bit of a humorist.

What does a Leafs fan need? Strength. As in something strong to get them through another season of not making the playoffs. Kral doesn't hesitate in recommending a Russian imperial stout with its 9% alcohol content to take away the sting of defeat. Furthermore, it evokes memories and not-so-subtle revenge on the late Harold Ballard, the owner who had his way with the franchise in the 1980s.

Ballard would be amused at Leafs fans enjoying Bolshevik Bastard from Nickel Brook Brewery in Burlington, Kral said.

Beer professor Roger Mittag -- he teaches at Humber College in Toronto and a beer course he developed is available through Fanshawe College in London -- suggests something a little bitter for disappointed Leafs fans, such as Mad Tom, an IPA from Muskoka Brewery in Bracebridge. If Mad Tom is unavailable, Smashbomb Atomic IPA from Flying Monkeys of Barrie will do nicely.

Scot Crawford of London's Bungalow Neighbourhood Hub in the Old North also seizes upon Leafs fans bitterness over almost 50 years of Stanley Cup futility.

"It would be a very, very bitter beer," Crawford said. "Perhaps Black Oak Brewing Co. might change the name of its 10 Bitter Years Imperial IPA to 48 Bitter Years."

Players traded away from the Leafs, hopefully to a contender, could celebrate with something Belgium such as Timmerman's Oude Gueuze, which Kral reminds us is the champagne of beers, light, dry and happy.

Crawford would suggest a veteran on his way out of Toronto stop for a Mutineer, a pilsner from Beau's of Vankleek Hill near Ottawa, or, dare we say, a Pompous Ass by Great Lakes Brewery of Etobicoke, the coincidental home of David Clarkson, whom the Leafs swapped for a guy too injured to play.

Mittag would go with a barrel-aged beer such as Cameron's Obsidian Imperial Porter (Rum-barrel aged), a 9.2% beverage from Cameron's Brewing in Oakville or its 7.1% Deviator Dopplebock. "You need a reason to celebrate and the higher alcohol will seem like a blessing," he said.

But what of those players arriving in Toronto?

The good news, naturally, is that they're arriving in Ontario with its delightful craft beers waiting to be discovered.

Something like a Triple Chocolate Cherry Stout from Black Oak, which Milos' Craft Beer Emporium has in bottles or draft, would help incoming players feel better about both playing for the Leafs and Ontario winters, Kral said.

Mittag, if he met an incoming Maple Leaf, might be inclined to buy him a Coffee Porter from Toronto's Mill Street, "because you'll have to carry or 'porter' the rest of the team." If the pub or LCBO is sold out, attention turns to the 8% alcohol Wellington Imperial Stout from Guelph, "because you'll have to be brave and this has a higher alcohol content to drown your sorrows in."

Crawford suggests Pssst Off, a steam-brewed specialty beer from Grand River Brewing in Cambridge or D.O.A., a malt liquor, high alcohol beer by Beau's. If they feel like meeting their agent after being traded to the Leafs, they could do it while enjoying Loophole Ale, a lagered ale from Walkerville Brewery in Essex County.

Then again, maybe Midnight Paddler, a Canadian stout brewed by 5 Paddles Brewing Company in Whitby, would be best. The reason is obvious, Crawford notes, because new

Leafs players otherwise will be up the creek without a paddle.

Wayne Newton is a freelance writer in London. Wayne.newton@bell.net