Woman who is always on the brink of an orgasm

Woman who is always on the brink of an orgasm

I STILL remember the first time I masturbated at work. I was sure I’d be caught, or that I’d walk back into the office and everyone would know.

I had locked myself inside a toilet cubicle — not the hottest scene but you have to work with what you’ve got. The whole thing took about five minutes from start to finish and of course nobody had a clue.

FROM THAT MOMENT I WAS HOOKED

I’ve always had a pretty high sex drive. My boyfriend Marco and I have sex at least once a day but mostly twice, morning and night. Sometimes it’s more if we’re excited. We sext each other a lot too. I love it all and find it really exciting, so sex is never far from my mind.

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I work in a high-pressure office where everything is go-go-go all the time and I manage a large team. I generally don’t get a moment to myself, except when I go to the bathroom.

Recently, when everyone wanted a piece of me and I was feeling super stressed about an upcoming presentation, I went to the bathroom just to get away from the chattering masses. I locked myself in a cubicle, even though I didn’t actually need to go, and sat on the toilet with the lid down.

Unwilling to head back out, and with nothing else to do, I decided to feel myself up a little bit. I was surprised by how aroused I could become there under the fluoro light in the centre of a building full of hundreds of people.

It took me only a few minutes to reach a silent climax. Afterwards I realised I felt a whole lot better.

It should have come as no surprise: an orgasm always relaxes me, and I’ll often masturbate when I hop into bed at night just to help me drop off to sleep.

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Although I was sure everyone would know, nobody even blinked when I emerged, slightly sheepishly, from the bathroom. I got on with my day, acing my presentation and practically skipping through my afternoon meetings.

From that day on, I started looking for moments I could disappear into the bathroom to take care of business. I became pretty speedy too. It’s amazing how much you can prime yourself before you even get in there — sometimes I would look at porn or erotic stories on my phone (never on my work computer) for a few minutes before locking myself away for a few short minutes of personal time.

AT FIRST IT WAS JUST FUN

Marco got off on hearing about it too. Sometimes I’d snap off a couple of photos to send him but I stopped short of calling him during — I was doing my best to be as quiet as possible.

But after a while, I realised “going to the bathroom” had become my coping mechanism when I was having a bad day.

And then I started to be pre-emptive, visiting each morning before anything had the chance to go wrong. I was distracted by it, and often lost concentration in meetings, thinking about when I could get back in there.

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It became the answer to all my problems, until my obsession with it was my problem. It still is, but I’m trying to reel things in.

THINGS TOOK A DARK TURN

When I started to lose interest in having sex with Marco because I’d used up all my sex drive at work — and he asked me if I was having an affair — I knew something had to shift. I was having an affair with myself.

I try to think of other ways to relieve stress now, like talking to a co-worker or going to grab a coffee.

They’re not the same, but I’m not an animal — I know sex is a private act that should be saved for moments when you’re alone, or at least with someone special. I do still lock myself away in the office bathrooms a few times a week but I’m working on it. I mean, a bit of a good thing isn’t bad, right?

This story originally appeared on whimn.com.au and is republished here with permission.