The Chargers didn’t have to travel 1,734 miles to Chicago to find their equals in football ineptitude. The Bears, beaten down into a hunter’s throw rug, came to them, to the urgent care facility Qualcomm Stadium has become during these bandaged times.

Here, due perhaps to some kind of twisted NFL Obamacare codicil, visiting in-patients can be healed — if they’re willing to pay a small price. You know, be decent, and not prone to error and stupidity, like the Bears, who can be a miracle drug sold only in this country.

1 / 54 Chargers Malcom Floyd can’t come down with a pass and injured his shoulder as Bears Antrel Rolle, left, and Kyle Fuller defend. (K.C. Alfred) 2 / 54 Fireworks go off at Qualcomm Stadium during the National Anthem before the Chargers-Bears Monday Night Football game. (K.C. Alfred) 3 / 54 Chargers Philip Rivers throws to Melvin Gordon in the 1st quarter against the Bears. (K.C. Alfred) 4 / 54 Chargers Corey Liuget and Donald Butler (56) stop Bears Jeremy Langford in the 2nd quarter. (K.C. Alfred) 5 / 54 Chargers Jason Verrett (22) celebrates an interception for a touchdown against the Bears in the 2nd quarter. (K.C. Alfred) 6 / 54 Chargers Jason Verrett stands injured on the sidelines during a game against the Bears. (K.C. Alfred) 7 / 54 Bears Alshon Jeffrey jumped over Chargers Patrick Robinson in the 2nd quarter setting up a touchdown. (K.C. Alfred) 8 / 54 Chargers Javontee Herndon returns a kick against the Bears in the 2nd quarter. (K.C. Alfred) 9 / 54 Chargers Jerry Attaochu hits Bears Jay Cutler in the 1st quarter. (K.C. Alfred) 10 / 54 Chargers Danny Woodhead catches a touchdown pass agianst the Bears in the 1st quarter. (K.C. Alfred) 11 / 54 Chargers Danny Woodhead celebrates a touchdown pass with Kenny Wiggins againstnst the Bears in the 1st quarter. (K.C. Alfred) 12 / 54 Chargers Danny Woodhead celebrates a touchdown pass with Stevie Williams (11) against the Bears in the 1st quarter. (K.C. Alfred) 13 / 54 Chargers Mike McCoy and Branden Oliver the field before the Bears game at Qualcomm Stadium. (K.C. Alfred) 14 / 54 Chargers Mike McCoy walks over to look at Malcom Floyd after injuring his shoulder against the Bears. (K.C. Alfred) 15 / 54 Chargers Malcom Floyd is looked at after injuring his shoulder against the Bears. (K.C. Alfred) 16 / 54 Chargers Dontrelle Inman reception is eventualy striped of the ball by Bears Tracy Porter in the 2nd quarter at Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 17 / 54 Chargers Jason Verrett returns an interception in the 2nd quarter for a touchdown against the Bears at Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 18 / 54 2nd quarter pass intended for Bears Alshon Jeffrey is broken up by Chargers Steve Williams and Jahleel Addae. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 19 / 54 Chargers Philip Rivers narrowly avoids getting sacked in the 2nd quarter against the Bears at Qualcomm Stadium. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 20 / 54 Chargers Philip Rivers reacts to a penalty in the back field on the offense for holding. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 21 / 54 Chargers Philip Rivers is sacked in the 4th quarter with a loss of 8-yards against the Bears. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 22 / 54 Pass complete to Antonio Gates for a gain of 9-yards in the 4th quarter against the Bears at Qualcomm Stadium. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 23 / 54 Chargers Philip Rivers escapes from Mitch Urein and gets the pass off only after crosssing the scrimmage line. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 24 / 54 Chargers Philip Rivers is pressured by Bears Willie Young in the 3rd quarter. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 25 / 54 Chargers Antonio Gates catches a pass from Philip Rivers in the 4th quarter against the Bears. (K.C. Alfred) 26 / 54 Bears Jay Cutler passes as Chargers Damion Square approaches in the 4th quarter. (K.C. Alfred) 27 / 54 Chargers Donald Brown carries the ball for the first time all season and is stopped by the Bears. (K.C. Alfred) 28 / 54 Chargers Philip Rivers is hit and throws an incomplete pass in the 3rd quarter against the Bears. (K.C. Alfred) 29 / 54 A Bears fan is dressed like Mike Ditka during a game against the Chargers. (K.C. Alfred) 30 / 54 Golfer Phil Mickelson, left, talks with Steve Young before the Chargers-Bears game. (K.C. Alfred) 31 / 54 Former Major League Baseaball player Ken Griffey Jr. takes photos during the Chargers-Bears game. (K.C. Alfred) 32 / 54 A sky diver enters Qualcomm Stadium before the Chargers-Bears game. (K.C. Alfred) 33 / 54 Chargers Dontrelle Inman is introduced at Qualcomm Stadium before the Chargers-Bears game. (K.C. Alfred) 34 / 54 Chargers Girls perform during a Salute to Military during Monday Night Football between the Chargers and Bears. (K.C. Alfred) 35 / 54 Chargers Girls perform during a Salute to Military during Monday Night Football between the Chargers and Bears. (K.C. Alfred) 36 / 54 Chargers Girls perform during a Salute to Military during Monday Night Football between the Chargers and Bears. (K.C. Alfred) 37 / 54 Chargers Girls perform during a Salute to Military during Monday Night Football between the Chargers and Bears. (K.C. Alfred) 38 / 54 Chargers Philip Rivers lays on the ground after getting hit on a 4th down play on their final drive as Bears Pernell McPhee looks down on him. (K.C. Alfred) 39 / 54 Chargers Philip Rivers is sacked by Bears Lamarr Houston on the final drive in the 4th quarter. (K.C. Alfred) 40 / 54 Chargers Philip Rivers stands in disbelief after D.J. Fluker was called for illegally being downfield forcing an Antonio Gates touchdown to be called back in the 4th quarter. Rivers talks with linesman Marc Hittner. (K.C. Alfred) 41 / 54 Chargers Stevie Johnson reacts to getting delay of game penalty for spiking the ball after a catch against the Bears. (K.C. Alfred) 42 / 54 Beas Ka’Deem Carey finds the hole wide open against the Chargers at Qualcomm Stadium. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 43 / 54 Chargers Melvin Ingram and Jeremiah Attachu was enough pressure to stop Bears Jay Cutler from getting his pass off in time. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 44 / 54 Bears Jeremy Langford makes the catch for a gain of 32-yards against Eric Weddle. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 45 / 54 Philip Rivers is deep in the back field for the pass intended for Malcom Floyd. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 46 / 54 Philip Rivers was under pressure several time from the Bears defense. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 47 / 54 A Marines covers his ears to protect himself from the loud canon as the Chargers enter the field at Qualcomm Stadium. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 48 / 54 Chargers Philip Rivers is pressured by Bears Willie Young in the 3rd quarter. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 49 / 54 Charger Girls perform at Qualcomm Stadium during Monday Night Football. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 50 / 54 Charger Girls perform at Qualcomm Stadium during Monday Night Football. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 51 / 54 Pass complete to Antonio Gates for a gain of 9-yards in the 4th quarter against the Bears at Qualcomm Stadium. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 52 / 54 Bears Zach Miller scores the touchdown that puts the Bears over the top beating the Chargers at Qualcomm Stadium. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 53 / 54 Chargers Melvin Ingram and Jeremiah Attachu was enough pressure to stop Bears Jay Cutler from getting his pass off in time. (Nelvin C. Cepeda) 54 / 54 Chargers Philip Rivers prepares to walk onto the field for Monday Night Football at Qualcoom Stadium. (Nelvin C. Cepeda)

But the 2-7 Chargers’ mutilated body rejected it. The outcome seemed inevitable. The good fight can’t be fought this way, and Chicago found a way at the end, coming back against a skeleton crew and taking what seemed like a booby prize, 22-19. It would have been a bit worse if the Bears’ Robbie Gould hadn’t missed two makeable field goals.


Complete coverage: Bears 22, Chargers 19

Realistically, San Diego’s season was over before this, when they were butterflied and overdone. It’s gotten to the point where it’s difficult to field 22 real NFL players. At one point, midway through the fourth quarter, they were missing nine starters from coach Mike McCoy’s opening day lineup card, losing three of them as this mess piled up.

All this team is missing is a fife and drum. What has happened to them is preposterous. At this rate, they’ll be moving to Carson on the Ship of Hope.

So what we get is some bad football. And when the other team stinks, it’s beyond bad, morphing into a 60-minute mistake.

It was doubtful, though, that the Battle of No Way Either Team Can Win was going to end in a tie (or be well-played). By halftime, the Chargers’ already decimated light brigade had lost two cornerbacks — Jason Verrett (groin) and Patrick Robinson (neck) — and a receiver — Malcom Floyd (shoulder) — and yet still managed to lead 16-7.


But, even if the Bears (now 3-5) aren’t good at all, the Chargers can’t be considered better than anyone as they mercifully head into a bye week that has come too late. They need a two-month vacation.

There is every reason to believe at this point they are the worst team in football. They can’t help but be.

As good as quarterback Philip Rivers is, he’s incapable of dealing loaves and fishes to the masses. His offensive line, held together by Ace bandage, is awful. Rivers tried to mount a late comeback with two of his starting receivers — Keenan Allen and Floyd — gone, with slot receiver Stevie Johnson and tight end Antonio Gates not themselves, and reserve tight end Ladarius Green inactive.

Rivers somehow would pass for 280 yards and a score. But on that final drive he was sacked twice, and a long, desperate try on fourth down fell to the ground. He had thrown a nine-yard touchdown pass to Gates in the fourth quarter that was nullified by an incomprehensible illegal-man-downfield penalty on guard D.J. Fluker. And Johnson sophomorically spiked a ball before that after a catch at the three, resulting in a five-yard delay of game penalty.


So, instead of being up 23-14 with under eight minutes to play and the game probably out of Chicago’s reach (“It was over,” Rivers surmised), they instead got three points on a Josh Lambo field goal. The offense managed just 13 points. Remember, Verrett had a 68-yard pick six for the defense.

“Two penalties took points off the board,” McCoy later lamented, “and we gave them the opportunity to go up the field and score.

“We didn’t make enough plays at critical times. The game came down to making plays and we gave them too many opportunities. But we’re not into going to make excuses. Nobody’s feeling sorry for us on Sunday, Monday night or Thursday night.”

But it almost is possible to feel sorry for these guys. I’ve been watching football since the first pig was slaughtered to make one, and I’ve never seen such an injury stampede. How can anything be done well? The defense now, especially, is a nightmare.


“We’ve been hurt unlike anything I’ve ever seen,” Rivers said. “We can make a long list of things, but we’ve had a chance in all the games and haven’t made the plays. We just didn’t do it. Not lacking preparation or want-to.”

As McCoy put it: “Don’t complain, don’t explain, find solutions.”

It was as though he read it off a teleprompter. But it was true.