Napoleon, French dictator for life, was exiled to Elba in 1814.

But he returned a year later.

Dealin’ Dan O’Dowd, Rockies dictator for life, was exiled to Modesto last year.

But he’s returning this spring.

It is well to remember that in 1815 Napoleon met his Waterloo, and was banished, permanently this time, to St. Helena.

Will O’Dowd finally confront his Waterloo in 2013? Not likely.

How long, Colorado, O how long?

The Rockies’ pitchers and catchers report to spring training Sunday.

In their first 20 years of existence, the Rockies have finished last or next to last in the division 15 times. They have never won the National League West.

So, how optimistic should we be?

Considering that the Rockies lost 98 games last year, ended up dead-man-walking last, 30 games out, made the situation so untenable and miserable for manager Jim Tracy he resigned, did almost nothing in the offseason to improve, grading “F” for hot-stove league acquisitions, and that the starting pitching remains as vulnerable as the tethered goat in “Jurassic Park,” as they say in Modesto when their team takes the field, “Nuts!”

Dan The Dictator and Dick The Owner, who had the brilliant idea of piggyback pitching (which became a porker of a problem and a complete catastrophe), have done it again.

A year ago Tracy, a quality manager, was given a handshake indefinite contract extension that I challenged Dick Monfort about at the batting cage in spring training. He said Tracy would be with the Rox for a long time — which turned out to be seven months. New manager Walt Weiss, stolen away from Regis Jesuit High School, is respected so much he was presented with a one-year contract. Keep the porch light on, Mrs. Weiss.

Last Aug. 30, O’Dowd told Thomas Harding of MLB.com, “In reality, every 10 years, a payroll model of our organization goes to the playoffs roughly 2.7 times.”

That’s weird new math. In real reality — O’Dowd lives in a surreal world — the Rockies have gone to the postseason only three times in 21 seasons. In the past 10 years (and the 13 that O’Dowd has been dictator), they’ve reached the postseason twice. Neither measures up to his 2.7. Where’s that roughly 0.7 come from?

Of the four most recent expansion teams, the Rockies have produced the worst results.

The Marlins, who were coupled with the Rox, won the World Series twice. The Rays and the Diamondbacks were added five seasons later. Tampa Bay has gotten to the postseason three times in the past five years (and won its difficult division twice), and Arizona, a model and market almost identical to Colorado, has reached the postseason five times and won a World Series.

Dan shouldn’t spout his hooey. Phooey.

The truth about 2013 is that the Rockies aren’t as adequately armed in the division as the Giants — defending world champions — and the Dodgers — who loaded up — and the Diamondbacks — who have assembled a solid rotation. The Rockies might rival the woeful Padres.

There are even questions about the Rockies’ offense.

Troy Tulowitzki returns from injury and should be a big bat. But Carlos Gonzalez has to elevate his pedestrian numbers — .303 batting average with 22 home runs and 85 RBIs. Michael Cuddyer, as expected here, was an expensive bust at .260, 16 and 58. Blame Dealin’ Dud. Who knows how much gas Todd Helton has remaining in the tank? Who’s on third — and can any of them hit home runs?

And Wilin Rosario was good hit, bad catch.

The Rockies became very average defensively without Tulo last year.

The relief staff could be as strong as last season, but the starting bunch is a dilemma inside a quandary within a predicament.

The 10 candidates for the five- or four- or eight-man rotation had a combined record in 2012 on the major-league level of 27-56. Only Jeff Francis, from the recycle bin, won as many as a half-dozen games. Sure, the Rockies had crucial injury issues — from Jorge De La Rosa to Jhoulys Chacin to Juan Nicasio — but Drew Pomeranz (2-9) and Alex White (2-9), the two young, vital pieces of the Ubaldo Jimenez trade, stunk. White already has been dealt. And the Rockies invited in a fellow who was 3-12 with the Royals.

Don’t forget that O’Dowd is the same dictator who was responsible for Jeremy Guthrie, Jamie Moyer and that dreadful staff last season.

Tracy wanted no part of that mess O’Dowd and Monfort created.

Napoleon would turn his hat sideways, stick his hand in his shirt and demand exile to the Tri-City Dust Devils. If only we were so lucky.

Woody Paige: 303-954-1095, woody@woodypaige.com or twitter.com/woodypaige