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DIY ball improvement, the fattest woman in the world, P-Control, more broken toilets, the Boomer curse of braces, chicks measuring shit with their hands, the amusement tax, feeding as a fetish, an endless loop Mexican ranchero music, cucks in the mass shooting meme, a Facebook meltdown, a new MtG playmat, mosquito season, quinceañera season, update season, Dad’s Guide for video games, death to chivalry, sexism and new hamburgers, and other people’s piñatas; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

Here is the GoFundMe page for the Dickhead whose sister was slain in the news article at the end of this episode. As always, I’m sure every bit matters. It’s downer ending, but that’s life. Every bit matters. But first…

Are men who throw themselves on top of women during an active shooter situation cucks or are they heroes? It sounds like a great topic for an episode of The Best Debate in the Universe, if only that show was still a weekly affair! If violent video games are responsible for violent behavior, then we need the opposite: some sort of virtual shooter-type situation simulator in which the instinct to protect others at great personal cost to ones self is punished out of us; the urge to flee is rewarded–the ultimate rejection of peer pressure, unlocked achievements in bravely running for cover, heroically lobbing other victims into danger–women and children first, and optimizing your Coward’s Score with honor!

Or if violent video games quell violent urges and fantasies and are responsible for the reverse effect in real life, then we need the exact opposite: a virtual lamb to the slaughter, wherein men can sacrifice themselves pointlessly, huddled en masse around women or oil or the common good, one after the other for the glory of the meme, with namelessness and potential for all. Get it out of our systems.

Or maybe we make them both and just tax them to the tune of 10,000%; along with the air you breathe, the shits you take, the loads you blow, and any other daily distractions, amusements, wins and minor triumphs that plague the otherwise hopeless despair of the hyper-woke and can be leveraged for cold hard cash.

Video games are being taxed under “amusement”, and I’m annoyed by it, but a tax on video games hits kids the hardest. The violent, toxic, entitled super predators of youth with nothing but time and pixels to kill. Maybe someday, they’ll take back their digital birthright. They’ll storm the city servers and toss the Terms of Service into the virtual harbor. No taxation without console representation. Give me liberty of DLCs or give me death. Don’t tread on memes. I hope that they do at least, because I really don’t want to pay more money for another “inspired” and “breath-taking” forty-hour cutscene with the occasional task to press F to pay a little bit more.

“A Tribute to the Lost Piece” by Bernie Sweats.



“I’m Landau” by Young Cuc



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