Lolo Jones has represented the U.S. in the Winter and Summer Olympics, but she didn’t make the bobsled team for Pyeongchang. She is immediately returning to track and field by competing in the Millrose Games, which will air on NBC on Saturday afternoon. She talked to For the Win about not making the team, why she’s running this weekend and a date with Blake Griffin. This has been condensed for length and clarity.

You won your last bobsled race, but then didn’t make the team. Did you expect that when you were competing?

No, not at all. I went into that thinking to put out a good performance and give Elana a race that the other brakeman couldn’t give her, and that was to help her win a gold medal. That was my mentality going into that race.

What was your first reaction when you found out you didn’t make the team?

I was devastated. At the end of the day, to make a bobsled team, it’s a very subjective process. It’s not like track and field where the top three cross the line, and they go. You can have better results, and I have better results than the girls who are going, but at the end of the day it’s a subjective process. There’s a selection committee that determines who is going to be on the team, there’s pilot input. There’s so many things that go into that you can’t even wrap your head around the decision-making process that they’re doing.

Will you return to bobsled again?

I think after what transpired over the course of this season, I don’t know. I doubt it. I feel like things could have been handled better. I still enjoy the sport. I enjoy what it did for me as a person.. But in my last few months with bobsled, I highly doubt it. That’s what the frustrating part of it is. It’s a sport I full embrace. I gave up track and field, which is my love — not even as a sport. I love running. My coaches told me to give it up for a year, and I gave it up for a year. Not having the process be anything that any athlete can trust because it’s subjective, that’s a hard place to put yourself in. No matter your performance, no matter your results, no matter what you do, at the end of the day, you’re leaving your success or failure up to somebody else to decide. That’s never going to be a fair process.

Are you looking for more transparency in the selection process?

There should be. In 2018, if they can air trial dates for people, they certainly air the Olympic selection committee when they’re in the room deciding who they’re going to pick. There should be more transparency in that, because you have no clue what’s going on. If they had more transparency and there was accountability, it would hold people more accountable to their decision making process.

So now why are you turning around and running at the Millrose Games so quickly?

I don’t think it’s ever really been done before! When I went to the Winter Olympics, I had a month and a half. I actually took a full week off after the Winter Olympics. People have done the Summer and Winter Olympics before, but most of them have been retired from one of their sport. There was no going back to another sport. Lauryn Williams was retired from track, so she didn’t go back to track.

For me, it’s very important because when you think about what I just went through, I just found out I didn’t make the Winter Olympic team a few hours after winning a gold medal. That’s going to put anybody in a pretty frustrating, devastating, heartbroken place. Even before I was a professional track and field athlete, I was a runner. If I had a stressful moment or I had a bad day, I would go run. For me, it’s just about getting back to my roots.

That’s why I’m glad I’m partnered with ASICS. It’s weird I say this, but their logo is sound mind, sound body. My mind was a mess. I needed to get back what I enjoyed doing, and that’s running and competing. At the end of the day, it just me out there running and getting back to the joy of it. I’m an idiot for doing this. An absolute idiot. My coach was even like, ‘What are we doing here?’

I don’t even know if my body is going to look right in a track uniform. At the end of the day, I know I need to get back on this track and field start line and compete because that’s what I love doing. I’m going to release some stress in the process.

With the uniform, I must say I liked how you taught us how to paint abs on with make-up on Instagram stories.

Thank you! I’ve gotta get some waterproof make-up because that’s going to be all runny by the time I get on the track. Someone told me they can do that at a tanning bed? Spray-on abs! I’m just going to roll with how my abs look, and hopefully all the other girls will have such amazing abs the camera will focus on them.

Is looking good part of competition?

Maybe. I notice in instances when I go to the start line and I’ll see a girl completely ripped and shredded, and I think, she’s definitely going to beat me. It doesn’t always work out that way. I’ve actually had times when I’ve had girls coming off of pregnancy and they were still on the rebound, and they beat me! They had no abs!

Do you feel ready to run this weekend?

No. Not at all. Not at all, are you kidding me? No. Like I said. I’m an idiot for doing this.

Your last bobsled race was January 13. Did you get a single day off? A day to eat some pizza?

Not really. I took the normal amount of time I would take, because I was in Europe for bobsled, to the U.S. I had no days off. I did treat myself to a few meals. A big burrito, some pizza, things like that. It was tough because I was really frustrated about bobsled. I told my coach, ‘I’m out here running, but I have a hard time with the eating because when I’m sad I just want to eat.’ I was eating bags of chocolate truffles every day and candy. I was still in the mourning process from what happened and how I was treated. I needed the food to help me get through that. I’ve been slowly trying to make adjustments to my eating habits so I can get back on track.

But it is stupid what I’m doing! The silver lining in what I have to realize, if I look back on my career, I’ve had to take some Ls to get the bigger victory. I know I’m not ready. But if I run this race, it’s one more tick to help me get ready for down the road, whether it’s world indoor championships, or it’s outdoor season. At one point, I’m going to have to get in and line up and race. That’s basically what I’m doing. I didn’t run track last year. I’m throwing myself into the fire and it’s going to be a process, but that’s how you get sharp. It’s not by staying home and crying with my milk chocolate truffles.

OK, so can we talk about the date with Blake Griffin?

That was years ago! I never meant for it to go viral because I was just responding back. I do think there is a terrible double standard with female athletes and male athletes. That’s the one thing I’m getting frustrated about is. If you look at a male athlete, he can go on all these Instagram model’s or any female’s page, and write heart emojis and write a text, and no one will say he’s a thot, no one will say he’s trying to hook up with this girl, but the moment any girl athlete writes on another athlete’s page, it’s all, ‘She’s a thot! She’s this and that, she’s trying to bang that guy,’ and it’s very frustrating. As an athlete, I know a lot of these guys, and not in a way I’m trying to — I mean, I did go out on a date with Blake — but I know them from functions or sporting events or kids’ clinics, and so it’s just me making people laugh. I go on Instagram to make jokes.

It’s true. When I did research for this interview, the first thing that came up when I googled your name was Blake Griffin.

The one with Blake Griffin, we went on a date years ago. It was his rookie season. I’m sure he’s improved his game in all aspects since then.

I’ve done a few jokes on Odell Beckham Jr.’s page. We went to school together. His mom ran track at LSU. I can’t tell you how many hate comments I get every time I do a joke. It’s like, ‘Oh, she want to bang him!’ It’s insane. It’s so crazy. But if a guy made a joke? It’s like, ‘He’s hilarious!’ Even Blake Griffin, they’re like, he’s a comedian!

There was another instance. I made a joke on Jimmy Butler’s page because he was wearing an LSU hoodie. I texted Jimmy before, and said, ‘Hey Jimmy, this is the caption I want to put on your page.’ He said do it! I said, I don’t know. I don’t want the backlash. And he said, ‘Do it! It’s hilarious!’ And of course what happens? I get all the backlash.

Whenever I’m posting, I’m just trying to make people laugh. That one with Blake? I was just responding to a fan, because they were saying ‘You want to hook up with him!’ And I was like, nah, I actually already went on a date with him and it wasn’t a good date.

Did Griffin pay on the date?

He paid. I mean, he’s made millions of dollars. He better pay! That’s another thing. They were like, how can you kick Blake Griffin when he’s down. I’m like, ‘He’s getting traded from one NBA team to another. Is he really down?’ I just found out I’m not on the Winter Olympics team! He’s made $153 million! He’s dating Kendall Jenner! I’m on Tinder! Who’s really more down?