Blog Posted in Michael Cosgrove's Blog Exclusive: Qu'ran burning Pastor now says "It's an amazing book!" blog:8780:9::0 Posted Sep 9, 2010 in Entertainment 13 comments By Michael Cosgrove Tweet Terry Jones will not be burning the Quran outside his church this Saturday after all. His reason? He has just read it. I interviewed Jones, Pastor of Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Florida, in the backroom of the Broken Wheel Whoop It Up bar on the other side of town from the church. "I chose this place so no-one from the Church would see me drinking Bourbon or meet my girlfriend who is a topless dancer here, cuz that would not be good for my image" he said candidly over a large glass of Jack Daniels, no ice. When I asked him to explain why he wanted me to meet him in such secrecy, he said that no American journalist had believed the story he was about to tell me and that the American press had refused point-blank to print it because everyone thought he was "off-your-rocker buddy!" so he was counting on me to relate his story to the world. He poured his third Jack Daniels in as many minutes and said "I met an old college buddy a couple of days ago and he told me that the Qu'ran says Muslims should worship their God and no other. So I said 'Heey wait a minute, the BIBLE says the same thing! That kinda got me to thinking a little." Jones said that he had a hard time getting over that revelation and so, to set his mind at rest, he decided to actually read the whole Qu'ran from start to finish. "So what did you find out from reading it?" "I found out that that that is one helluva cool book dude! I mean, it says the same things we do in our Bible! Did you know for example that the Qu'ran categolorically, no, catalogarally, well you know what I mean son, it really says that lesbians and homosexuals and all those perverts like them are a bad thing. Can you imagine!!! That's so like us man! Morver, euhh, moreover.." He paused a second as if he knew he was as drunk as a newt, drew a breath and went on to say that; "AND it catelo umm really sez too that women are infelior to us men - cool right? - and that when we take them as spousings they should be unquesteingly faithful to us. In fact it says that women are inferior to us gerenally. Which is true. Heck, I gotta admit they have a point there..Hic!" "Then there's a bit where it says that enmies of religion should be dain like the slogs, sorry, slain like the dogs they are. Far out! It's an amazing book! We have so much in common with that point of view here at Dove World Outreach Center. Burp" "Does this mean you are not going to burn a copy of the Qu'ran on Saturday?" "Bet your sweet ass it does! Not only am I not going to burn it, I'm going to deliver a sermon on Saturday morning which will be based entirely on the Qu'ran. That comes just at the right moment too because I was beginning to get bored with repeating the same old Bible sermons." Then he hiccupped, belched, and keeled over onto the floor, as drunk as I've ever seen anyone. So I walked out of the Broken Wheel Whoop It Up to go put this story up. Two things preoccupied me though. The first was that Terry Jones should drink less and the other was that I wouldn't like to live in Gainesville Florida USA because it's just too darn hot down there.

Terry Jones will not be burning the Quran outside his church this Saturday after all. His reason? He has just read it.I interviewed Jones, Pastor of Dove World Outreach Center in Gainesville, Florida, in the backroom of the Broken Wheel Whoop It Up bar on the other side of town from the church. "I chose this place so no-one from the Church would see me drinking Bourbon or meet my girlfriend who is a topless dancer here, cuz that would not be good for my image" he said candidly over a large glass of Jack Daniels, no ice.When I asked him to explain why he wanted me to meet him in such secrecy, he said that no American journalist had believed the story he was about to tell me and that the American press had refused point-blank to print it because everyone thought he was "off-your-rocker buddy!" so he was counting on me to relate his story to the world.He poured his third Jack Daniels in as many minutes and said "I met an old college buddy a couple of days ago and he told me that the Qu'ran says Muslims should worship their God and no other. So I said 'Heey wait a minute, the BIBLE says the same thing! That kinda got me to thinking a little."Jones said that he had a hard time getting over that revelation and so, to set his mind at rest, he decided to actually read the whole Qu'ran from start to finish."So what did you find out from reading it?""I found out that that that is one helluva cool book dude! I mean, it says the same things we do in our Bible! Did you know for example that the Qu'ran categolorically, no, catalogarally, well you know what I mean son, it really says that lesbians and homosexuals and all those perverts like them are a bad thing. Can you imagine!!! That's so like us man! Morver, euhh, moreover.."He paused a second as if he knew he was as drunk as a newt, drew a breath and went on to say that;"AND it catelo umm really sez too that women are infelior to us men - cool right? - and that when we take them as spousings they should be unquesteingly faithful to us. In fact it says that women are inferior to us gerenally. Which is true. Heck, I gotta admit they have a point there..Hic!""Then there's a bit where it says that enmies of religion should be dain like the slogs, sorry, slain like the dogs they are. Far out! It's an amazing book! We have so much in common with that point of view here at Dove World Outreach Center. Burp""Does this mean you are not going to burn a copy of the Qu'ran on Saturday?""Bet your sweet ass it does! Not only am I not going to burn it, I'm going to deliver a sermon on Saturday morning which will be based entirely on the Qu'ran. That comes just at the right moment too because I was beginning to get bored with repeating the same old Bible sermons."Then he hiccupped, belched, and keeled over onto the floor, as drunk as I've ever seen anyone.So I walked out of the Broken Wheel Whoop It Up to go put this story up.Two things preoccupied me though. The first was that Terry Jones should drink less and the other was that I wouldn't like to live in Gainesville Florida USA because it's just too darn hot down there. blog:8780:9::0 Tweet