Non binary anon from before (dating people with penises) but I would count myself as trans (since I don't identify as cis) I would never assume what genitals someone has but if I was made aware I wouldn't necessarily 1/3

want to/desire to have sex with them. Being intimate with someone in the ‘traditional’ way isn’t my problem at all. I might love them or be good friends just not want anything to do with their bits. Also its not the fact that they could be trans its if they have a penis that’s the problem. (Sorry for being so annoying about this I just want to make sure I understand it right and stuff)

Here’s the thing: You need to abandon this line of thinking, because its transphobic and harmful no matter how carefully you phrase it. It’s not only transphobic, but it’s bordering on TWEF rhetoric that you’re also making this exclusively about trans women specifically.

~graphic content below the cut~



There are many ways to show that what you’re saying stems from incorrect and hurtful thinking, and I’m going to try to go through some of them.



I feel I should start with an example from outside of the trans paradigm. A stone butch, for example, is usually a lesbian who doesn’t desire to receive certain sexual attention from their partner. This is only one example of how someone can interact sexually without having anything to do with genitals. You’re not considering that this sort of person exists.

Some trans men and afab folks also have penises, not to mention all the people who use strap-ons. Also very importantly, genitalia do not always fall into neatly-labeled categories. Intersex people are at least as common as redheads, and many of us identify as trans or non binary, and we often fall under this sort of discussion. At this point you should begin to see this as a problem in the way you’re constructing desire.

The number of trans women who would never have anyone look at or interact with their genitals is significant. The fact that you’re attempting to paint a picture of trans women in general who do not fall into this category is highly offensive, and very ignorant- especially in this context, and insensitive of the ways that body dysphoria, among many other things, can ravage our self image. The last thing trans women need is someone coming out of the woodwork to tell us that they think our bodies are gross or undesirable, and deep down you know this.

While people who feel this way about their bodies often exist, there are also people who have penises who do not feel ‘negatively’ about their body parts- and these feelings are exactly as normal and valid as anyone else’s. It’s wonderful that they don’t. These more, perhaps, body positive people, assuming of course they respect the idea of consent, would still never want to trigger someone in the way you’re describing and would, and often do, go to great lengths to prevent someone from even being aware of the shape of some their body parts.



I, myself, also happen to have some degree of penis repulsion, but I do not associate this in any way with whom I would and would not interact sexually, nor does it affect my sexuality/sexual orientation; it only affects the way I would desire to sexually interact with people whose parts are shaped like that.



The only reason one should prefer people who ‘don’t have penises’ as a matter of principle is a tendency that needs to be understood not as a sexual preference, but as a phobic repulsion that isn’t even something that would be necessarily triggered when sexually interacting with someone who’s considerate of this sensitivity.



Fixation on genitalia to the degree you’re showing is indicative of a phobia, not of a sexual preference- one should think of this as similar to the reverse of a foot fetish- because body parts are body parts. If you’re penis repulsed, you need to have a very clear understanding of the fact that no trans woman who respects consent is going to coerce you into doing something that you’re not comfortable with. You also need to understand that sexual activity is not necessarily something that needs to involves any genital contact of any kind.



People who are repulsed by fingers, or people who are repulsed by feet don’t need to exclusively interact with those who don’t have these parts.



You need to understand this because the way you’re saying what you’re saying is the wrong way to say it and the wrong thing to say.



To reiterate and sum up, the thing that you’re doing that’s not okay is describing people who have organs which you’re narrowly assigning as penises as people who you would never interact sexually with, but you’re neglecting to understand that there is no one true way for anyone to have sex, and that its entirely normal for anyone (including trans women) to not want to have anything done to or around their genitals, or for them to be seen, as well as people who are more than willing to accommodate certain aversions.

I won’t be continuing this thread of conversations on nnbt, but I do invite this kind of discussion to my main blog, @skinner0box, because nice nonbinary things is not an appropriate venue for this discussion, in my opinion.

