Oh Buffalo. You snowy train wreck you. You replace Sammy Watkins with Jordan Matthews and then Jordan Matthews immediately cracks his sternum.

I guess the Bills are tanking it this year. Can’t let the Jets have all the fun, I suppose. It makes some sense. The Bills are a mediocre team at best right now, and they just got a new coach and GM who likely have new ideas on how to run things. Jettison the old regime’s ideals, gather some picks, get a few basics in place and sacrifice the season for the future. That’s basically been the entire MO so far.

-Lowball Tyrod to make sure they aren’t tied down to him in the future

-Trade talented but injured Sammy Watkins to the Rams

-Replace Watkins with a much lesser but meh talent who can at least catch a ball in Jordan Matthews. Obviously they didn’t intend for him to suffer a cracked sternum, but shit happens.

-Trade for EJ Gaines, a good CB

-Give up Ronald Darby, a good CB

-Get a 2nd and a 3rd round pick in the two major trades

-Trade Cardale Jones for a 7th

I can’t tell if I like it or if I think it’s going to work, but I do like that there is clearly a plan in place right now. Sean McDermott obviously has some sort of long term vision and it makes me interested to see what the Bills do these comings seasons. This season though? A wash. A waste. LeSeasn McCoy will do a few things. Tyrod will have some fun plays. They have Anquan Boldin for a highlight or two. Richie Incognito will be a shit and the fans will love him anyway because Bills solidarity. Baccari Rambo is still an elite name.

And of course the Bills fans will continue to be the trashiest, most insane fanbase in football. Everyone I’ve ever met who has gone to a Bills game has a Bills fan story. I guess when you live in Buffalo there isn’t much else to do besides get messed up at a tailgate. I suppose I can respect that. Keep on having sex in the parking lot, Bills fans. Gotta make new Bills fans somehow. Plus, “Your Dad and me met when he smashed my ex through a folding table and then fell off the upper deck, and then we went at it over behind the nearest RV” is a hell of a conception story.

next comic is #700!