Howdy. We may be blasting Burzynski mercilessly, but we’re still constantly collecting stories for the week in conspiracy. If you come across any good ones, please let me know!

Conspiracy Theories of the Week

Comet Elenin is a Borg cube set to us by Jesus. Sure, Elenin disintegrated several weeks ago, but don’t let that stand in the way of a good conspiracy theory.

Senate votes to suspend the Constitution! Detentions of citizens immanent! It’s all in S.1867! I’m sure they did not mean that part that reads:

“Nothing in this section shall be construed to affect existing law or authorities, relating to the detention of United States citizens, lawful resident aliens of the United States or any other person who is captured or arrested in the United States.”

That’s all you’re going to get out of me this week. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some important Mystery Science Theater 3000s to watch.

RJB

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