Identifies himself as something less than smart when asked his first name.

PANAMA CITY — A man caught trying to provide a fraudulent urine sample for a circuit court-mandated drug test identified himself as “Dumb Ass” when the arresting deputy asked him his first name, according to a Bay County Sheriff’s Office report. Asked if he’d just responded with “Dumb Ass,” the man answered, “Well I am, ain’t I?”

The 39-year-old Panama City man had taken a small radiator hose from his truck and filled it with liquid from a hot Mountain Dew in the truck’s glove box after he learned he was going to be required to provide a urine sample before going into court Thursday. He spilled most of the liquid on his pants, the report said.

He was due in court for a pretrial hearing on charges of trafficking in amphetamine, possession of hydrocodone and paraphernalia, dealing in stolen property, operating a chop shop, towing vehicles with no identifying information, false statements application affidavit regarding lien, and grand theft auto. His bond was revoked.