Classic Literature Repurposed for Millennials

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of avocado toast.”

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“All happy families are alike; all unhappy families are unhappy because of avocado toast.”

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“A-vo-ca-do, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my toast.”

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“In my younger and more vulnerable years my father gave me some advice that I’ve been turning over in my mind ever since. ‘Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone,’ he told me, ‘just remember that all the people in this world haven’t had the avocado toast that you’ve had.’”

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“Call me Avocado Toast.”

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“He was an old man who fished alone in a skiff in the Gulf Stream and he had gone eighty-four days now without avocado toast.”

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“Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover avocado toast.”

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“As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into avocado toast.”

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“I owe the discovery of avocado toast to the conjunction of a mirror and an encyclopedia.”

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“Miss Brooke had that kind of beauty which seems to be thrown into relief by avocado toast.”

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“Under certain circumstances there are few hours in life more agreeable than the hour dedicated to the ceremony known as avocado toast.”

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“Avocado toast died today.”

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“And God said, Let there be avocado toast: and there was avocado toast. And God saw the avocado toast, that it was good: and God divided the avocado toast from the Millennials.”