Halloween is just around the corner, and according to some bogus statistic I’m about to make up, as many as 70% of people still haven’t decided on a costume yet. Adjusted for Jehovah’s Witnesses, Orthodox Jews, the French, and other non-celebrators, I can safely assume that you (the reader) haven’t yet decided on a costume either.

Here’s a list of last-minute costumes that you can throw together without breaking the bank:

1: Sacrament Tray

All you need is a bunch of aluminum foil (or aluminium if you like to party) sculpted into the correct shape. As a human sacrament tray, you’re sure to turn some heads, with the added bonus that this costume helps keep you fresh and prevents freezer burn. Spread some slices of bread (ripped into fourths, for approximate scale) around on the tray, but watch out for hungry partygoers and seagulls!

Cost: $9.00 for a 250-ft roll of Reynolds Wrap. Sure, you could save some money with generic brand foil, but can you really trust it to keep your costume fresh?

2: Elder L. Tom Perry

If you already own a suit, you’re half way there. If you’re a senior citizen with white hair and glasses, you’re pretty much 100% of the way there. Put the final touches on this costume by receiving a call from President Monson and being ordained an apostle. Only one person has ever successfully pulled off a perfect L. Tom Perry costume, and that was M. Russell Ballard, Halloween 2006.

Cost: $0.00

3: Holy Ghost

Spend all night in your basement watching Netflix alone. When your friends ask you why you weren’t at the big Halloween party, just tell them that you were there, but nobody could see you because your costume was the Holy Ghost.

Cost: $0.00

4: Family Home Evening

This is a group effort, but requires nothing more than clothes that a family might wear, some friends to move with you in a pack, and maybe a board game to carry around.

Cost: Between $0.00 and $100.00 depending on how much you need to pay your friends to hang around you as part of your costume all night

5: Missionary

Don’t do this one. Please, please, PLEASE don’t be the guy who throws his missionary nametag on and calls it a costume. Please, I’m begging you, don’t be this guy.

Cost: $0.00 (assuming you already have your missionary name tag)

Additional cost: The respect of your peers

6: Zombie Missionary

Still pretty lame, but at least you’re putting a bit of thought into it now.

Cost: $5.00 – $10.00 for zombie makeup/blood/gore

7: Pioneer

Grow out a really sweet neckbeard, get some bad clothes from a thrift store, and instead of a bag or plastic pumpkin bucket, drag around a handcart to collect your candy in.

Cost: $150.00 – $200.00 for clothing and a quality handcart (which, adjusted for inflation, works out to $5.00 – $7.00 in pioneer times. In other words, under $10.)

8: Home Teacher

Uninvited, you get to the party at the last minute in a wrinkled shirt and tie, sit on the couch and look bored and annoyed, but refuse to leave.

Cost: $0.00

Bonus: If you choose the right party, this can also count as an actual home teaching visit for October

9: Nephi

When you get to the Halloween party, find the nearest fat drunk guy and cut his head off with his own sword. When the cops show up to arrest you, just explain to them that “It is better that one man should perish than that a nation should dwindle and perish in unbelief.” That ought to give you a pretty good shot at an insanity plea in court.

Cost: $0.00 This one is less about appearance, and more about execution (pun intended).

So there you have it! Make sure to have a safe, spooky, spiritual Halloween, and remember what the Word of Wisdom says about eating too much candy: NOTHING AT ALL!!!