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Besides, FDR was no Dick Cheney, and selling his war against Germany was far from a sure thing, since it wasn't Nazi planes that attacked Pearl Harbor. Opposition still enjoyed the support of prominent American Nazis bigwigs such as Henry Ford, and the U.S. Army was so weak at the time that they had to train with wooden guns.

Truth be told, had Hitler not declared war on the U.S. four days later, FDR would have had one hell of an uphill fight getting Americans to fight, even with Pearl Harbor.

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So to recap, America, the hero (actually Pippen, or possibly Rodman to Russia's Jordan) of the war, might not have joined the beloved (reviled drunk) Churchill, had it not been for the maverick decision (one of countless tactical errors) by the diabolical (borderline retarded) Hitler. Bang up job, History Channel!

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For more from our myth-debunking department, check out 7 Retarded Food Myths the Internet Thinks Are True and Your Mom Lied: 5 Common Body Myths Debunked.

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And stop by our Top Picks (Updated 2.10.2010) to find out more about bombs (read: boobies).

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We have some bad news: Ancient Greece was covered in pastels, American history isn't an underdog story and your favorite book sellers are now taking pre-orders for a text book written and illustrated entirely by the Cracked team! Hitting shelves in October, Cracked's De-Textbook is a fully-illustrated, systematic deconstruction of all of the bullshit you learned in school.

It's loaded with facts about history, your body, and the world around you that your teachers didn't want you to know. And as a bonus? We've also included the kinkiest sex acts ever described in the Bible.