I have received the following absurd email from Varsity:

Dear Mr Buchanan,

I hope this message finds you well. I am reaching out from Varsity regarding allegations which have been brought to our attention concerning the protest held against the event held by Justice for Men and Boys (J4MB) at the University of Cambridge late last month.

If you could please respond to the following claims as soon as is possible, I would be very grateful:

1. One protestor, who was stood among a group of protestors through which “several attendees decided to walk on their way out of the event” (despite allegedly being asked to use a different exit so as to avoid the protestors), claimed that one male attendee became “more and more aggressive as he passed through the crowd, and eventually tried to punch a male protestor standing next to him”.

2. Another protestor claims to have witnessed a female protestor being “pushed aggressively” against a wall by an attendee of the event, while one claimed to have heard threats of sexual violence being directed towards a female protestor.

3. One protestor said that that the alleged “aggressive targeting and online harassment of students by J4MB’s supporters” prior to the event “gave good reason to suspect that they might act with violence towards protestors and women on campus.”

4. “Our concerns about the wellbeing and safety of students and staff, which had been repeatedly raised prior to the J4MB event being hosted by the University, proved absolutely founded” following the events, said one protestor.

Please do make a note of to whom your statement should be attributed in your response, and feel free to add any further comment you see fit regarding the events. Thank you in advance for your help.

Kind regards,

Varsity News Team