Chapter twelve

Royal entanglements

Watching Anna wake up, Elsa decided, was a morning routine she could definitely get used to.

As she had discovered, Anna went through a whole series of phases before fully waking up. Her breathing started to speed up, her snores got quieter and quieter, and she'd start squirming a little. After two weeks of up-close observation, it was almost like clockwork to her.

Now, as the light of a new day shone across the bed, Anna's eyes opened. Elsa, of course, sitting in a chair at the foot of their bed, was the first thing she saw.

"Morning, beautiful," Elsa said, smiling.

Anna buried her face in a pillow. "Morning, creepazoid," she mumbled through it.

Elsa chuckled. Anna's early morning crankiness was, just like seemingly every other aspect of her, adorable.

She yanked off the covers. "Come on, sleepyhead, we've got a lot of stuff to do today!"

Anna groaned. "But I don't want to do stuff," she whined. "Can't we just stay in bed all day?"

"We've already done that," Elsa reminded her. "Four times."

Anna remained unmoving. "And your point is?"

"I'm a queen, you're a princess. We have business to do."

Anna made a weird groaning noise.

"We have foreign dignitaries to meet."

She groaned twice as loud.

Elsa smiled devilishly. "We have chocolate fondue to eat."

That, at last, got her attention.

Anna looked straight at her. "You said that machine was broken."

"It was," Elsa said. "I had it fixed."

The hunger in Anna's eyes burned bright. Elsa fought the urge to giggle at her melodramatic behavior.

"So," she continued. "Ready to get up yet?"

Anna assumed a thoughtful position. "I don't know, I feel like I haven't been incentivized enough yet."

Elsa's grin widened. "Let's see if we can fix that," she said, crawling onto the bed.

xxxxxxx

Fifteen minutes later, Anna finally managed to pry herself apart from Elsa.

"Okay," she said, breathing heavily, "I think I've been incentivized enough now."

"Too bad," Elsa said. "Because now I want to stay in bed all day."

xxxxxxx

Fortunately, the appointment with the foreign dignitaries wasn't until midday. The two of them managed to accomplish all the vices they had planned for and still arrive, on time, in the castle foyer to greet their guests.

The guests in question were two: a couple, both with dark hair. Anna vaguely remembered seeing them at the coronation, but couldn't place a name to either of them.

"Welcome, distinguished guests," Elsa said, bowing to them before shaking their hands. "I trust the journey here was pleasant?"

They both nodded.

"We're sorry we couldn't meet with you sooner," Anna said. "We had pressing matters to attend to."

"Of course," the man said. "By the way, you've got a little…"

He wiped a thumb across his mouth demonstratively. Elsa turned and saw, to her horror, that Anna still had chocolate sauce all over her lips. Anna smiled sheepishly.

"Anna!" she hissed, pulling out a handkerchief. "I told you, that's what napkins are for!"

"Really?" Anna said, licking her lips. "I thought that was what tongues were for."

Elsa was mortified, but the man laughed good-naturedly.

"It's all right," he said. "If I was royalty, I'd never use napkins, either."

"You are royalty, Eugene," the woman reminded him.

"Really? Then why do you always make me use a napkin?" he responded playfully.

The woman shot him the same look Elsa had just shot Anna a moment before. "Manners, Eugene," she chided.

"Of course, sorry," Eugene replied. He stuck out his hand. "Eugene, of Corona."

Elsa and Anna each shook it, in turn.

The woman raised an eyebrow at Eugene, but she, too, extended her hand. "Rapunzel of Corona," she said pleasantly.

"If you like," Eugene added, "you can call me Eugene the Mighty."

Rapunzel snorted. "Really?" she said, unimpressed.

Eugene folded his arms, faking irritation. "Yes, really. Are you suggesting that the queen and princess of Arendelle should not be permitted to come up with titles for those around them?"

"Well, sure," Rapunzel retorted, "but they should at least make sense."

Eugene opened his mouth to continue the squabble, but thought better of it. He turned back to Elsa and Anna, who were trying their best not to snicker.

"Anyway, it's great to be here in this beautiful kingdom of yours," he said. "Really quite pleasant."

"As you are no doubt aware," Rapunzel said, "My parents have sent us here to engender beneficial relations between our two kingdoms."

Elsa stood there, not responding. Anna scratched her head awkwardly.

"You did receive the letter informing you of our arrival, right?" Rapunzel asked.

"Of course," Elsa said, "we did. It's just…"

Anna chimed in. "We still aren't quite sure about how we're supposed to do that whole 'engendering' thing."

Rapunzel looked puzzled. "You know, various…regal…activities?"

Elsa, Anna, and Eugene all stared at her, each with the same blank expression.

She sighed. "I was actually kind of hoping you two might know what we're supposed to do," she confessed. "My upbringing didn't exactly provide me with a lot of information on making friends of any kind."

"Believe me," Elsa said, "I can relate."

The room was swathed in silence.

After a while, Elsa piped up. "Do you guys like sledding?" she asked.

Rapunzel's face lit up. "Of course!" she exclaimed.

"Me too!" Eugene said. "I love it!"

xxxxxxx

"Perhaps," Eugene shouted over the wind, voice full of bravado in a futile attempt to disguise his fear, "I should have qualified my statements back at the castle!"

Again, he glanced down the mountainside, at the long, uninterrupted path of compacted snow leading straight to the bottom. All the way to the bottom.

"What do you mean?" Rapunzel asked, climbing into the sled, sitting down in front of Anna. "You said you loved sledding."

"Yes, I did say that," he said quickly. "I absolutely remember saying that. What I do NOT recall, however, was saying that I wanted to start with the longest, fastest route in the entire continent."

"Come on," Elsa said, holding the sled in place from the back. "I've spent weeks working on this route, it's totally safe. There's no rocks, no trees – it's a straight line to the bottom."

"So is falling off a cliff," Eugene pointed out, voice cracking on the last word. He looked back at the icy gondola that had brought them to this height, thinking about any possible way to request a safe, slow trip back down without emasculating himself.

"Come on, don't be a baby," Rapunzel said. "None of the girls have a problem with it."

Well, there goes my masculinity anyway.

He sighed. "Okay, okay," he said, climbing into the sled.

"Another thing I don't remember," he said, getting into a sitting position, "is requesting to sit at the very front."

Anna laughed. "You have to be in front, silly. You're the heaviest one of us."

Eugene opened his mouth. Then, realizing the repercussions of anything he might attempt to say, he closed it immediately.

"If you were in the back," she continued, "it'd just slow us down."

"Yes, of course," he mumbled. "Wouldn't want that, would we?"

Gazing straight ahead, he had a tremendous view of the countryside far, far below. They would be traveling straight down the mountain, at speeds, Elsa had assured him, which would make him want to lose his lunch. Even now, just looking at what he'd soon be speeding through, Eugene felt his lunch, breakfast, and even last night's dinner threatening to leave through the same path they had entered.

The wind began to pick up again, this time a massive tailwind of Elsa's design, no doubt intended to speed them up even further. "Ready?" she shouted to the other passengers of their four-person sled.

"I can confidently say that the answer to that question will never be 'yes,'" Eugene shouted.

"What?" Elsa yelled.

"He said 'yes,'" Rapunzel shouted back.

"Okay, here we go!" Elsa released the sled.

Whoosh

Almost instantly, the sled shot forward, rocketing down the mountain at lightning speed. In spite of Elsa's magic, wind whipped furiously past his face. To either side of them, rocks and trees shot by, mere green and gray blurs.

Eugene started screaming almost immediately. It wasn't even something he put any conscious effort into doing – his mouth stayed open, and screams poured out. Behind him, the girls were also screaming, but it sounded more like cheering.

"Isn't this fun?" Rapunzel shouted.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Eugene shouted back.

Finally, after what seemed like decades, the slope began to level out, and the sled started to slow.

"We're almost at the end! Hold on tight!" Elsa shouted.

Eugene looked down at his hands, both of which were wrapped tightly around the sled's rim.

Don't worry about that, a tiny corner of his brain said, while the rest continued screaming bloody murder.

There was a scraping noise, and the sled jolted slightly as it slowed to a crawl on the level ground. Rapunzel slid forward slightly, running into Eugene, whose entire body was rigid as a board.

"Woohoo!" Anna shouted, jumping out of the sled. "That was awesome!" She turned to Rapunzel and Eugene. "How'd you guys like it?"

"Loved it," Rapunzel said, shooting her two thumbs up.

"Uhhhhh," Eugene said, leaning the top half of his body over the edge of the sled.

The girls turned to look at him. "Are you okay?" Elsa asked.

Without turning around, he raised one finger in the air. "Give me, like, ten seconds," he gasped.

The girls stared at him worriedly as he made a series of strange, unpleasant noises.

Eventually, he lifted his head and turned to them. He made a face that looked vaguely like a smile, and shakily lifted his thumb up. "That was fun," he said.

Elsa conjured up another gondola. "Who wants to go again?" she asked.

"Me!" Rapunzel shouted excitedly.

"Me too," Anna agreed.

Eugene straightened himself. "And I as well," he said as boldly as he could.

The others looked at him with surprise. "Are you sure, sweetie?" Rapunzel asked gently. "It's okay if you want to sit this one out."

"Of course I'm sure!" he declared. "I won't let something as paltry as fear get in the way of having a good time! I insist on riding again, and I assure you I will face it with all the dignity and maturity that could be expected of a prince such as myself."

The girls stared at him silently. Then Rapunzel gestured down to his trousers.

Eugene looked down and saw the stain slowly spreading across the fabric. His face turned red.

"Maybe I should go change first," he mumbled.

Turning around quickly, he started walking towards the castle. The other three watched him go.

"But THEN!" he declared, raising his finger in the air again. "Then, I assure you, I will ride again, with no less dignity or maturity for this minor setback!"

The girls continued to watch him until he left their vision.

Then, all three burst into laughter.

xxxxxxx

"Hold still, Anna," Rapunzel said. "I'm almost finished."

Anna fidgeted nonetheless as she felt Rapunzel's gentle manipulation of her hair. "You said that five minutes ago," she said.

"That was two minutes ago," Rapunzel corrected, "And I would be finished by now if you didn't fidget so much."

"Come on, Anna," Elsa said from her right, "I held still while she was fixing mine."

"Fine," Anna said. "I'll just sit here, eyes closed, not moving a muscle, waiting for you to do whatever it is you're-"

"Finished!" Rapunzel declared. "You can open your eyes now."

Anna opened her eyes, and Elsa did as well. They both smiled immediately.

Rapunzel had swapped their hairstyles, giving Elsa twin plaits while pulling all of Anna's hair into one long braid.

"Wow, that's impressive," Elsa said.

Elsa and Anna had both tried to do the same in the past, but it never turned out quite perfect for either of them. Now, Rapunzel had done it for the both of them.

"How did you get to be so good with hair?" Anna asked, toying with the braid in her fingers.

Rapunzel laughed. She leaned against a chair, her pink dress perfectly matching the chair's upholstery. "That's a long story," she said. "And honestly, I don't know if I could tell the whole thing without Eugene here."

Elsa twirled a pigtail around her finger idly. "Speaking of," she said, "where is he?"

Rapunzel shrugged. "Last time I saw him, he was talking to that big guy with the blond hair."

"Kristoff?" Anna said. "What could they be doing?"

"I don't know," Rapunzel said. "Guy stuff."

xxxxx

Kristoff's knuckles slammed against the table. Eugene let go of his hand, raising both in a triumphant gesture.

"And Eugene wins again!" he declared.

"That's not fair, you cheated," Kristoff said angrily, flexing his fingers.

"I never cheat," Eugene replied. "I just use creative tactics to ensure my victory."

"But you can't kick your opponent in arm wrestling!" Kristoff shouted.

"You're just jealous you didn't think of it first," Eugene responded.

Kristoff folded his arms. "If you cared about playing by the rules, I'd beat you every time," he said.

"I'm sorry, what was that?" Eugene said. "It sounded like you said 'I want a rematch.'"

"Damn straight, I want a rematch!" Kristoff said. "This time, you're going down!"

"Bring it, deer boy!" Eugene shouted.

They clasped their hands together again.

xxxxxxx

"Uhhhhhhhhh," Anna groaned, lying flat on a plush couch.

Ten feet away from her, Eugene lay face down on another couch. "Uhhhhhhhhh," he agreed.

Meanwhile, in the conference room nearby, Elsa and Rapunzel sat, talking about economic relations, trade routes, tariffs, goods, services, and about a hundred other things that bored Anna out of her mind.

Initially, Anna and Eugene had been sitting next to them, but the other two had allowed them to leave when it became apparent that their total contributions to the discussions amounted to making faces at one another. (This, in fact, was not her fault; since they had agreed that Anna's usual recourse during boring meetings – groping Elsa's ass and legs – would not be appropriate during this particular event, and Anna had been eager to indulge in anything that would keep her mind off of indulging in her sister.)

However, Elsa insisted they stay close by, as all four of them would need to be present to agree upon the final arrangements, which left the two of them no choice but to lie there, doing sweet FA. After all the fun they'd had earlier in the day, the contrast was jarring.

Anna toyed with her new braid, spinning it around her fingers. Is this all princesses normally do all day?

She heard the sound of someone shifting, and turned to see Eugene slowly working his way into a sitting position.

Quickly, Anna sat up as well. Maybe he had something to say – some conversation that might liven things up.

Eugene cleared his throat. "So, are you two sleeping together, or what?"

Anna's eyes widened.

Yep, that livened it up in a hurry.

Apparently, seeing her reaction was confirmation enough for Eugene. "Thank god," he said. "It'd make things pretty awkward around here if I missed that call."

"H…How did you – I mean, what would even make you think that?" Anna amended.

"Besides the obvious failure to swoon the moment you laid eyes on me?" Eugene said. "Well, you two hold hands everywhere you go together, you stare into her eyes when you think nobody's looking, and when I walked past your guys' bedroom, it didn't look like Elsa had slept in her own bed for a long time."

Anna spluttered. "Well…that's still a huge leap to make…"

"Also, before I started making faces at you back there, you were staring at her ass and twitching your fingers."

Anna fell silent. Couldn't really argue with that one.

"Pro tip," Eugene said, leaning in. "Next time, sit on your hands. Putting them in your pockets just doesn't create enough of an obstacle for yourself. Trust me, I know."

Anna remained silent, waiting for the other shoe to fall.

"Uh, can I get some feedback from you here?" Eugene said.

"You're…okay with this?" Anna asked.

"With what?" Eugene asked, lost.

Anna stared at him like he was crazy.

"Oh, the lesbian thing!" he said. "Of course! Who doesn't like lesbians?"

Even as deeply surprised as she was, Anna couldn't help but laugh. "I mean, it's not just that," she said. "We're…you know, sisters."

Eugene assumed an expression of mock surprise. "What's that, you say? Incest, among royalty? Stop the presses!"

"So…you really are totally cool with it," Anna repeated, still finding it hard to believe.

"Yeah," Eugene said, starting to look confused. "What, did you think I'd make a fuss about it or something?"

"Well…yes, actually," Anna admitted. "A lot of people get mad about-"

"A lot of people get mad about everything," Eugene interrupted. "They tend to keep their mouths shut around royalty, though."

"True," Anna said, nodding.

"Besides," Eugene added, "I'm a thief who married a princess. There were more people complaining at our wedding than there would be at yours."

Anna was about to reply when the door to the conference room opened, and Rapunzel stuck her head out.

"We're almost done in here, guys," she said. "Just need you two to sign off."

"Perfect," Eugene said. "Just give us a couple seconds, okay, honey?"

"Got it," Rapunzel said.

She started to close the door, then opened it again.

"Thanks for being a good sport, Eugene," she said. "I know it's boring, and I'm really grateful you stuck through it."

Eugene smiled goofily. "Thanks, honey," he said, every ounce of swagger and boast in his voice gone.

Rapunzel smiled back, then closed the door.

Eugene turned to Anna. "That girl's made me happier than anyone else in the world," he said to her. "I can't imagine wanting to separate any couple who has that sort of connection."

As they stood and prepared to go into the conference room, Anna spoke up again.

"I mean," she said, "it's not like we'd be 'separated' anyway. We're sisters. We spend lots of time together all the time, and nobody thinks it's weird at all."

Eugene raised an eyebrow. "And you're okay with staying at that level?"

While Anna tried to think of a reply, Eugene walked through the door. Anna quickly followed.

It seemed, in the space of only a few minutes, she had forgotten how beautiful Elsa was. As soon as she entered the room and looked at Elsa, it hit her all over again. Her eyes swept all over Elsa's gorgeous figure, finishing on her lovely face. Elsa smiled back at her, an action that made her tingle all over.

By the time she had made it all the way through the door, her mind was made up.

No, she decided. No, I'm not.