THE TROLLS ARE COMING: ARM YOURSELF

You may not want to believe this, but there are people who actually exist that are paid real money to troll you on the Internet. People who are are given money from political foundations and set lose online to give you a hard time for having an opinion opposed to their sugar daddy's/mommy's.



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Correct the Record is the main paid troll organization you will come across. In the 2016 presidential campaign cycle alone they've accumulated $6,376,684 which they'll use to pay trolls online to harass you. Here is their list of donors: I recommend looking up some of those names and see if you're surprised by anything. I was.

Anyway, as the American presidential cycle spins faster and faster in this vortex of polemical dumbfoundedness culminating on Nov 8, 2016, you can expect the trolls to be out in force, fueled by Mountain Dew, Cheetos, and whatever supernatural power comes from a properly ungroomed neckbeard.

I recently had an encounter on Facebook with some paid trolls who came out of nowhere to swarm a post of mine, which was really just a relatively innocuous meme about the double standard that the Left takes regarding Wikileaks, seeing as how they liked Julian Assange when he was felling the lies of the Bush-Blair administrations.

They came out from under their bridges, with their banal ad hominems and eye-rolling retorts. And I expended the minimal amount of effort pushing back against them, which caused them to delete all of their comments one by one, flee my page, and block me.

That's a win.

In this article I'll share how I knew they were paid trolls, how you can know, and what to do about them.

Firstly, here are 5 clues that the person you're talking to is not genuine, and is in fact being compensated literally DOZENS OF DOLLARS PER WEEK to talk to you.



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1. They Are Unrelated To You Or Recently Became Active

If someone is responding to your post with some inflammatory comment, take a second and check their account. On Facebook, if they don't share a mutual friend with you, that's a clue. On Twitter, if their account has the standard "egg" for a profile pic, that's a clue. If it's a forum, check when the user signed up: if it's within the last few months, that's a clue.

Generally, depending on what medium you are posting, check to see if it looks like they've recently signed up or recently became active after a long absence. A paid troll will not scorch the earth on a medium or account in which they've invested: they will use something disposable. If it looks disposable, you're ready to go to step two.

2. Their First Response Is Flippant And/Or Is An Obvious Tell For Cognitive Bias

As Scott Adams writes in this blog post, there are certain "tells" that are useful in identifying cognitive bias, and luckily for us, the trolls tend to use them at the BEGINNING of the post!

Look for these tells to identify the brainwashed: LOL Wow. So… In other words… OMG HAHAHAHA! (Any personal or professional insult) Hitler analogy To be clear, these are only tells if they don’t accompany some sort of rational counter-arguments or facts. If you see LOL followed by a link to a good counter-argument, or to credible studies, that’s not brainwashing. It is only when you see the tells presented as a substitute for reason that they signal brainwashing.

As mentioned, if they follow with a rational argument or logical point, they are just a real person who disagrees with you -- YAY!

3. They Use A Script

This stem tends to come in after you've made a retort of some kind. Now, I assume you've seen copy + paste scripts before. They're all over the place. Look at any popular Twitter post or YouTube video and you'll see those posts that go on and on and are vaguely or completely off topic and/or have a link to some click-bait link or video. Trust your instincts: you've been Internet-ing for a while; you know what this crap looks like.

4. "I used to be like you but now..."

This is the type of line that's used for what's known as a sympathetic troll or sock puppet. Typically, these trolls are more experienced and/or ambitious. They are trolls that pretend to be like you to win you over or convince your audience of their view, usually that your agenda is failing and you should give up. But they are not like you -- they are actually your worst ideological enemy. Don't buy into their disguise, especially if they've demonstrated any of the above points.

5. You Are Suddenly A Conspiracy Theorist

You're going back and forth with a paid troll who insists they are anything but, and suddenly you are a tin-hat wearing, lizard-humanoid takeovering "conspiracy theorist." Now, this isn't the first thing a shill will throw at you -- in fact, it's the last. When you are accused of any related conspiracy theory nomenclature after beating back all of their fruitless attempts to subdue your rightful views, be happy -- you've won!

The pejorative accusation of conspiracy theory was created by the CIA in 1967 as a way to stifle any narrative that conflicted with the official account of the Kennedy assassination. Before, and shortly after this time, many executive officials expressed numerous concerns about conspiracy and shadow government and other such things, including US Presidents, and their concerns were legitimately digested and considered.

Here are some examples.

KFK:

Dwight D. Eisenhower:

If a troll resorts to accusing you of conspiracy theory (tells are: "tin-hat", "lizard people", "AI") you can rest assured -- and, truly, have a warm feeling in your breast -- that they have been destroyed and have nothing else left with which to troll you. It is a white flag and a sign of defeat, treat it as such and be prepared for their departure.

SO WHAT DO I DO WHEN I SPOT A PAID TROLL?



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When you find one of these creatures, prepare to act accordingly. One option is to ignore and completely disengage, and as far as I'm concerned that's entirely legitimate: their whole goal is to keep you from doing something productive by using frustrating distraction.

NOTE: if your account is connected to your work or business, DON'T ENGAGE AT ALL!!

However, if you chose to engage a troll, I recommend doing it for the fun of it. If your mindset is that it's a game to predict their next move and confound the one who seeks to confound you, then confronting a troll can actually be very fun. This approach is totally disruptive to their mission and they will not be able to deal with you. Remember, these are people who are being paid by partisan groups to give you a hard time: it's kind of like pranking a telemarketer or Prince A'bobo the Nigerian catfish: their job is immoral and you are justified in destroying it.

So what's the first thing to do?

Tell Them That You Know They're A Paid Troll/Shill

There's nothing that a paid troll hates more than being exposed right away. Honestly, if they're solidly past points 1. and 2. on this list, you are fair game to directly accuse them of being a paid troll. The best thing about this approach is that it will spur them to go quickly and intensely into the remainder of their program, which, thanks to the list above, you already know. Which leads to the next point:

Use This List To Predict Their Next Move And Stay One Step Ahead

You can use your own creativity with this. I like to tell the troll what they're going to do next. This is very frustrating to them and you can sit back and laugh as you chop the legs out from under them one by one.

If it's more your style to play with the mouse before you eat it, you can pace their position and lead them wherever you want. You can read up about pacing and leading online, or start with this article if you don't feel like looking around too much. These people aren't exactly what I would call bright, so you can use them to practice your persuasion and influence techniques.

Counter-Troll



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If they seem easily triggered, which most people who would take a job as a troll are, find the opposite of their position and throw it in their face in the worst possible way. If they're pro-choice, be as pro-life as possible. If they're anti-war, be hawkish. Post annoying memes that make jokes of what they're trying to say (keep in mind the 5 steps above and be one step ahead of them). It doesn't matter what your actual views are: remember, these people are not authentic or genuine.

This is bad advice coming from me because I don't tend to do this. I'm more logical and analytical and prefer to toy with the mind of a troll until they submit or run away.

TAKE SCREEN SHOTS OF YOUR CONVERSATION AS YOU PROGRESS!!!!!

I can't recommend this one enough, if not just for the sheer joy you will have in throwing it in the trolls face when they delete an entire thread or a series of posts after you handily defeat them. I'm not even kidding. Trolls will try to hide their failures. They will delete entire conversations and act like they never happened. If you've been keeping records of these conversations as they progress, you can hold them as a trump card.

Honestly, if you have any kind of desire to fight a troll I urge you to do this, because it is so much fun to draw a troll into a trap when they deny that they never said something or act like you're crazy for referring to an entire conversation that they claim never happened, just to post a screen capture (or better yet, some sort of video evidence) of their lie. It's delectable!

Well, that's it!



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I hope this article was helpful to you.

If you have any other tells or troll-fighting techniques, or if you would like to share your experiences with or suspicion of paid trolls, post it below! Let's have a conversation.

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Shayne