For most, when we have sex, we don’t have other motives than just to have an orgasm. But then there are others who like to play around with stealth sex.

I can never keep with the latest sex trends. First it was flavored condoms, then it was furries, and now stealth sex or stealthing. But there’s a huge difference between sucking a strawberry flavored dick and this new trend, stealthing.

Not all trends are positive, in fact, many trends cause a lot of damage, like this one. So, what is stealth sex? Well, I’ll go into more detail, but in essence, it’s when the man takes off the condom mid-sex or damages it before intercourse.

Stealth sex – What you need to know about stealthing

If you just cringed, well, join the club. This isn’t comparable to other trends like sex bracelets or Ugg boots. This is actually fundamentally wrong and non-consensual. I feel myself starting to rant. Take a deep breath, Natasha. This new “trend,” well, what can I possibly say about it?

I can’t be there in your bedroom to make sure he keeps his condom on, but you can. So, let’s get you updated on what this trend is about and what you do to protect yourself.

And just when you thought you could trust your partner.

#1 What is stealth sex? Stealthing is essentially when your partner either removes their condom mid-way through sexual intercourse or they purposely damage the condom prior to intercourse. This means they poke a hole in it or use an oil-based lubricant.

The removal of the condom is usually done via doggy style because the receiving partner won’t be able to see what’s happening. [Read: Unprotected sex: The dangers most people don’t even think about]

#2 It’s a serious crime. Though they think it’s funny, it’s actually a serious crime. Condoms are used to prevent the spread of STIs such as HIV and also unwanted pregnancies. So, if they attempt to do this, they’re liable to be charged with sexual assault.

There are not only physical ramifications for this but the receiver experiences emotional, mental, and financial harm as well. The lack of consent draws a line to being considered rape.

#3 Why do they do it? I wish I could answer this question without rage. They do this because they’re idiots. On forums talking about stealthing, they say they do this because of their right to “spread the seed.” Honestly, the worst thing these people do is reproduce. No one needs more of these people on earth.

#4 It can lead to STIs. By damaging or removing the condom during sex, they allow for the spread of STIs to occur. If these guys do this, do you think they honestly go and get tested after every time they have sex? I don’t think so. Stealth sex isn’t based on respect, it’s based on stupidity. [Read: The most common type of STDs and their symptoms]

#5 You can get pregnant. This is a given. If someone takes off their condom or pokes a hole in it, the chances of you becoming pregnant are dramatically increased. You think they’re going to help you get an abortion or raise the child? Think again. These men see this as a sport.

#6 The laws around it are ambiguous. Since stealthing is a new trend, the laws surrounding this are somewhat unclear. This doesn’t mean they won’t get charged, they will. However, will they be charged with rape or sexual assault? This depends on the judge.

But in one case, a man was charged with rape for removing his condom during sex without telling his partner. So, the punishment can be very severe.

#7 Who is affected by stealth sex? Anyone who has sex with an individual who is practices stealthing is at risk, including the stealther themselves. Not only are you open to STIs and unwanted pregnancies, but so are they. Though they think this is how they should spread their seed, they won’t be thinking this after they have to pay child support for all these children. [Read: 15 commonly accepted sex “facts” that are so wrong]

How to prevent stealthing from happening to you?

It’s a shame that we even have to discuss this. You think when you have consensual sex with someone they wouldn’t go behind your back to put your life at risk. However, you actually don’t know what your partner is capable of doing, so, you need to be prepared just in case. But if you see your partner doing something like this, then don’t have sex with them.

#1 Bring your own condoms. You need to be prepared. Yes, I know women tend to leave it to the guy to supply the condoms, but you can’t do that. You need to be aware of yourself and be responsible. So, carry a couple condoms with you, leave some by your bed just in case. [Read: How to have safe sex in every single way it is possible to]

#2 Check throughout intercourse. I can’t believe that we just can’t enjoy a sexual experience but instead, we have to be paranoid that this guy isn’t doing something that would affect our health. Throughout intercourse, periodically check to make sure that the condom is on. If it’s off, stop having sex immediately.

#3 Use a condom that you can feel. Make sure you use a condom that you can feel when it’s inside you. Try using a ribbed one. This way, you’ll be able to tell when he’s wearing a condom and when he’s not. It’s actually quite a big difference in feeling, so you’ll be able to detect it.

#4 Have your partner ejaculate outside of your body. Maybe he poked a hole in it or used oil-based lube. So, if that’s the case, just to be safe, have him ejaculate outside of your body. You don’t have to tell the guy it’s because of stealthing, instead, make an exciting finale to the experience. By ejaculating out of the body, it’s safer for both you and him. [Read: Pull out method: Everything you need to know]

#5 Use your own lube. If these guys are using oil-based lube, bring your own with you. Silicone or water-based lubricant is condom-safe. This way, you know what’s going on the condom, so you won’t have to worry about it. If it’s oil-based lube he’s using, don’t have sex with him. He knows better than that.

[Read: The different types of condoms and how they can improve your sex life]

Now that you know what stealth sex is, make sure you prevent this from happening to you. You’re in control of your body and what goes in it. Literally.