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Okay, Marc Bergevin. Here’s the situation.

You’re in charge of the worst team in the NHL. Right now, you’re worse than the Edmonton Oilers, worse than the Columbus Blue Jackets, even worse (gulp!) than the Toronto Maple Leafs.

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For the past two months, your players have been tighter than a teenager on his first date. Your little guys get chopped, hacked, speared and generally disrespected all over the ice.

Off the ice, your season has been like a bad episode of General Hospital. From Zack Kassian’s truck to Alex Galchenyuk’s girlfriend, from the bizarre trades to line combinations that change from shift to shift, the Canadiens seem as lost as a drunk thrashing around in a closet. Even the occasional feel-good story, like Daniel Carr getting called up and providing some much-needed offensive help, becomes a feel-bad story when Carr goes down for the season with a knee injury.

Now you’re dealing with a public-relations nightmare of your own making: A good, decent family man and a hard-working, likable individual has been shipped from Arizona to Newfoundland in order to satisfy Gary Bettman’s vindictive desire for revenge. Exiled to the Rock, with his wife expecting twins, because he dared to defy the control-freak commish.