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Knifery Questionnaire

Which of these knives should you choose, if any?

Buying a knife can seem like an overwhelming process, with the wealth of options, blade types, and prices out there. That's why we created this easy-to-follow knife purchasing guide to help you in your decision.

Question 1: Do you want a knife?

If YES, continue to question 2

If NO, do not buy a knife

Question 2: Do you have ten bucks kicking around?

If YES, continue to question 3

If NO, do not buy one of these knives

Question 3: Do you have a recurring dream in which you are chased by a knife-wielding criminal?

If YES, stop answering these questions immediately and seek professional help

If NO, continue to question 4

Question 4: Do you plan to cut things with your knife?

If YES, continue to question 5

If NO, you should reconsider this whole enterprise, and maybe look up the definition of a knife.

Question 5: Do you plan to hunt with this knife?

If YES, choose the Antelope Hunter model

If NO, continue to question 6

Question 6: Do you plan to fish with this knife?

If YES, choose the Folding Fillet model

If NO, continue to question 7

Question 7: Sorry, we just wasted your time with this purchasing guide because we're only selling a hunting and fishing knife.

If YES, you didn't really read question 7 because there was no question

If NO, go back to question 1.

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