Here’s the Matt Barnes you have, and the Matt Barnes you’ve always had, NBA fans:

Matt Barnes on October incident: "Violence is never the answer, but sometimes it is. And unfortunately, it happened. I don’t regret it." — Stefan Bondy (@SBondyNYDN) January 16, 2016

Matt Barnes is the Memphis Grizzlies small forward that decided that his romantic relationship with another person was over, prior to moving on to engage in a romantic relationship with another person. Or persons. As is his right.

Because his ex decided to move on and engage in another relationship with a person he’d once shared a figurative office with, Matt Barnes decided to terrorize his ex-partner’s house under the auspice of “my kids are upset.” In the meantime he allegedly fought with New York Knicks coach and former teammate Derek Fisher and the whole of the internet laughed because that stuff is hilarious, man. And Barnes got to do it for the kids.

Forgetting, of course, that those kids would have a front row seat in a fight between their mother, their biological father, and her mother’s new boyfriend.

Because Matt Barnes was totally thinking about his children. Because he had their best interests in mind. Because long, drawn out, physical fights are the best things for kids to see. You still believe that tripe? That it was all about the kids? Not about jealousy. Not about, “not Derek, what?”

Mothers with children break up with fathers with children every day. Sometimes those mothers go on to date the guy that worked next to them at a Red Lobster hostess stand, or they move in with the production assistant at a reality show, or the former (dumb) sports teammate of their ex. Even in a big world, things tend to get small, and you tend to find comfort in what you know.

Here’s the kicker, from the New York Daily News. The fake, “yeah, man, not cool”-kicker that keeps this sort of stuff in the realm of the OK, while women have to wonder when to change the locks:

According to Barnes, the message from supporters – who include people “throughout the league, other leagues, GMs, owners. Entertainers. Actors. Everybody” -- has been that he took the appropriate action.

Bravo, “men.”

Any internet tough guy defending this sort of stuff needs to grow up. This is coming from someone with diagnosed rage issues that also is in care of the children of my partner’s ex. If you’re out to protect your children, then you need to put your children’s future above all before you decide to bury your attacking forehead in someone’s bloodied nose, or rant in front of those who should have long gone to bed. At some point, you need to learn that your shift is over, and that it’s not about you.

The NBA should not feel comfortable with Matt Barnes in its ranks. Neither should the Memphis Grizzlies, a team that should feel ashamed for putting up with this all for the sake of 9.1 points per game.

Carry on, NBA supporters. While you put on those airs while mocking the NFL’s issues from on high.

The Memphis Grizzlies play the New York Knicks on Saturday night. The NBA, to date, is just fine with Matt Barnes playing. Because he can hit jump shots, sometimes.