Article content continued

BEST HOCKEY BONER TWEET

https://twitter.com/griff_ball/status/161624084994732033

Griffen is the Canucks latest signing.

Don’t judge, we’ve all made that tweet.

Tip of the hat to the sleuths at Canucks Reddit for finding that gem from the newest Canuck.

BEST PROOF WE’VE ALL MADE THAT TWEET

Here's Vrbata giving us all a hockey boner, undressing Craig Anderson and leaving his jock strap in the 3rd row:https://t.co/dhPGICW1Lz — Wyatt Arndt (@TheStanchion) March 15, 2017

BEST BONER DEBUT

BEST VIRTANEN NICKNAME UPDATE

BEST SHADE

Scott Burnside, Pierre LeBrun, Craig Custance, and Joe McDonald all passed on Canucks players in their mock expansion draft to make the starting roster.

Don’t they realize the trouble the Canucks went to to make Alex Biega a forward, defenseman, goalie, life coach??

He’s the Swiss army knife of the expansion draft!

BEST THEY COULDA DRAFTED…

Pasta doing more Pasta things... pic.twitter.com/dLofADVE7q — Mike Grinnell (@MikeGrinnell_) March 29, 2017

BEST SUBLIMINAL MESSAGING

It’s interesting to see who appears in the clip the Canucks chose for the unsung hero award.

Stecher appears. Can’t argue with that. Troy From Richmond has been a shining star in this dark season.

Granlund appears. Can’t argue with that. Guy scored goals with a noodle for a wrist.

Who does the clip lead with?

Tryamkin? Oh no. He can’t even get a shirsey.

He didn’t step up enough to earn a spot in the gif.

You know who did?

Foundational Brandon Sutter, baby. Center of the #ExposeSutter2017 movement.

Potential unsung hero AND a foundational player AND a black hole where possession stats go to die?

What a time to be alive.

BEST DEBATE

Hearing VAN will indeed sign F Griffen Molino from Western Michigan. @Buccigross was on this yesterday — Elliotte Friedman (@FriedgeHNIC) March 28, 2017

Let me be clear here, JD. A) You are making a claim on his expected success rate B) You're using a number from one metric only — Aynsley Scott (@HockeyMinister) March 28, 2017

There is too much to post from this one, but if you want a good old fashioned online throw-down, do yourself a favor and read the talk between Aynsley and JD.

At the center of the debate? Griffen Molino (the hockey boner guy), a forward who’s name many will likely never come to learn. His odds of making the NHL appear slim, yet the Canucks signed him anyways.

He’s kind of like that character who shows up in a scene in season 3 of Game of Thrones.

Sure, welcome to the show, but you’re probably just gonna be tossed down the Moon Door at some point before the episode ends.

The fact he’s an older player still not producing high numbers at the NCAA level doesn’t bode well for him. Ryan Biech has a good article outlining the concerns about this signing.

The fact he takes up a contract spot, worries some. Stats guys who see the Canucks taking continuous shots at low yield situations get concerned the Canucks won’t have room a for a better prospect who could end up being available.

Obviously the Canucks believe their guy has more to his game than just what the stats show, so once again it pits old foes, statistical models vs scouting and/or hidden statistical models.

It’s an ongoing debate that we will see play itself out many times over in the NHL.

If “Moneyball” is any indicator, one day we might all feel foolish for some of our thoughts about how we measure hockey. How maybe we over rely on narratives that don’t have a strong correlation to winning.

Maybe one day we’ll see a movie starring Brad Pitt as Kyle Dubas about this era of hockey. Maybe Jonah Hill will lose a ton of weight to play Cam Charron.

Whatever the case may be, stats guys preaching the benefits of good process leading to better results will always be the villain to some.

Preaching about process is the well meaning friend who tells you maybe you’ve had one beer too many. That maybe you should try and get some more rest. Get started early on those taxes.

They’re right, but damn it, sometimes you just want to swing for the fences.

Process thinks Star Wars: A New Hope is quite silly and shouldn’t rely on one shot-ting the Death Star to victory.

“Ok, Luke Skywalker has an accurate shot, but Wedge Antilles has a way better shot rate production. Over the long run he’s going to take down way more Tie Fighters, which will lead to eventual gains in the war.”

So sure, Griffen might shock us all and become an NHL regular. But the odds aren’t very high. And that process repeating itself, doesn’t paint a rosy picture for success.

Hope is the fuel of fandom, though. Hope that the team knows something you don’t. Hope that scouting is a real, tangible, quantifiable skill.

Hell, hope is probably the fuel for scouts taking a chance on a kid because of a “gut feeling” or because he has “the good face”.

And sometimes hope wins out. Sometimes the results of a poor process will have a bigger impact than any well intentioned process.

Sometimes luck steps in and says “screw your process” and flips the script. The same kind of luck that can cripple a Presidents Trophy winning team in the Finals with injuries.

Hope is what fans hold onto during the dark times.

Hope is why you bring Brock Boeser up for the end of a failed season and burn a year off his ELC.

Even if their management looks inept, people hold onto the hope that things will go their way eventually.

It’s what keeps them cheering for the team.

It’s why sometimes hearing about process and odds of players turning into NHL players will deflate people.

Sometimes people just want to hope against all odds.

Since poetry was all the rage this season in Vancouver sports writing, let’s end my last Provies of the season with a poem dedicated to the age old battle of hope vs odds.

He wishes for the Cloths of Heaven

Had I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,

Enwrought with golden and silver light,

The blue and the dim and the dark cloths

Of night and light and the half-light,

I would spread the cloths under your feet:

But I, being poor, have only my dreams;

I have spread my dreams under your feet;

Tread softly because you tread upon my dreams.