COLORADO SPRINGS, CO—Discouraged that the process seems so simple for other couples, Doug and Linda Bergeron told reporters Thursday that they are growing increasingly frustrated after many months of trying unsuccessfully to sell a baby. “Every night we come home and try, but it just hasn’t happened for us yet, even though all our friends have done it with no problem,” said 35-year-old Linda Bergeron, adding that she and her husband have spent countless hours consulting the internet for tips on selling a newborn and are worried that they have exhausted every possible option. “I feel bad because I’m getting short with my husband about it—and he’s frustrated because he feels like less of a man for not being able to sell a child with me.” Bergeron went on to say that, with their luck, they’ll end up selling a baby the moment they stop trying so hard.

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