Blessed to see another beautiful day on the Buckeye Beat after biased bastards blasted me for being on the backend of my blogging career. (I am, just don't tell them.)

ICYMI:

Word of the Day: Stumblebum.

I HATE THE LIZARD WITH MY LIFE. Five-star OT Jackson Carman picked Clemson over Ohio State yesterday.

Can't believe he did that after I complimented Fairfield earlier this week. I understand the mentality, though. When I was that age, I too thought the first step to prosperity was leaving the Buckeye State. (Now I look at a weekend excursion to Cleveland as an international vacation. Each man must walk his truth, though.)

Ohio State will be fine. It's bigger than one man. However, one man — specifically Dabo Swinney — has proven to be an an invincible antagonist in my nightmares for seemingly a decade.

After Jackson announced his decision (and props to him for doing it under 15 seconds), he said Swinney told him Urban Meyer is on the "backend of his career."

Swinney didn't deny it at his press conference.

Via last night's Hurry Up:

“We might have had a lot of conversations. I cannot recall specifically, but it sounds like something that might have come up when we were maybe talking about coaches. I’ve been a guy that’s been here for 15 years. There are obviously differences when you compare coaches and things like that. Obviously different stages in life and things like that. But in recruiting, you talk about anything and everything that a recruit wants to talk about that seems relevant.”

Oh yeah, Dabo must fall. The first thing to go is his name. He is now and forever William Swinney.

But touché to William for dropping a poisoned pill down the well like a salty ex-boyfriend dropping a salacious dime to the guy that replaced him while picking up the kid he only uses for Facebook posts that make him seem like a loving father.

He knew what he was doing, and the gambit worked. He's not mad about the interaction; he's only disappointed there's proof.

Honestly, I've thought there's at least a 20% chance 2018 would be Meyer's last season. Though he's only 53 (five years older than William), he's been an itinerant throughout his career. Do I think Meyer will coach at Ohio State for 13 more years to match Saban's current age? I don't. But he's never been at a place like Ohio State and both his daughters live here with his son going to college down I-71 at Cincinnati.

As much as I'm looking forward to Saban's retirement, I may be looking more forward to Clemson's reaction when William leaves in the dead of night for Tuscaloosa 72 hours later. Hopefully Meyer's retirement comes well after that.

#BRAND STILL STRONG. It's weird to see a day where Ohio State inked a likely top-three class as "bittersweet."

But such is the case when the local team loses out on talents like Brenton Cox, Emory Jones, Jaiden Woodbey, and Carman Jackson.

Don't fret too much, however. The #brand is still strong nationally.

Take this letter "three-star" running back Master Teague wrote to tennessean.com:

We knew that The Ohio State had solid program. It is a program with solid coaches and a winning tradition. There is little chance that there will be a coaching change. It is also a program that does a great job at developing good football players into elite football players. Coach (Urban) Meyer doesn’t just want his players to get a degree but he wants to help them start a career and he makes sure that certain things are in place to make sure that happens. The Ohio State program also gives me that opportunity to grow as a man and into the man I desire to be.

I don't stress about recruiting misses. For one, I'm 31 years-old. Secondly, touché to any talented #teen that looks at the entirety of the Ohio State package—from facilities to alumni network—and says, "Nah."

There will always be guys like Master Teague willing to jump at the opportunity. Our director of recruiting, Andrew Lind, thinks Teague is the best running back of the class.

I'll look forward to the retrospective of how this class shook out in 2-3 years.

SCHIANO: BROWNS COACH? The Cleveland Browns will never be good until owner Jimmy Haslam sells the team (preferably after the federal government puts him in a box for the rest of his life so his family can know an inkling of the pain he's inflicted upon me). Until then, the revolving door of robustly compensated stooges will continue.

Tom Reed of The Athletic dug into the ineptitude of the Haslam regime yesterday. This note was buried within a piece worth reading if you subscribe:

Sources said Haslam was warned about Lombardi but decided to hire him anyway. The owner jettisoned both Banner and Lombardi in 2014 after a second chaotic coaching search in as many years. The last straw was a disjointed interview with Schiano for the job that ultimately went to Mike Pettine.

The Browns hired a cheaper, shittier version of a guy after botching the hiring of someone more competent? That doesn't sound like the Browns I know and love!

Though Haslam has vouched head coach Hue Jackson, winner of one of the last 30 games, will return next year, he did just hire John Dorsey as general manager.

Dorsey is what we in the biz call "a football guy." Given the incompetence of the Jackson era (I've watched enough of it to qualify for mental disability compensation), it's not out of the question to think the Browns could part ways with their coach (by trading him to Cincinnati for an 18th round pick and a $50 gift card to Foot Locker).

And you don't get much more football guy than Schiano. Given Haslam's infatuation; it's not crazy to think the Browns could take another swing at him.

Schiano obviously is ready to be a head coach again, and the Buckeyes will reportedly add Washington State defensive coordinator Alex Grinch next month. Would Schiano want to take over the worst franchise in the league? Well, every man has his price, and Haslam's checks haven't bounced yet.

SOUNDS 'BOUT RIGHT. I wouldn't swing on a man that entered my house and went straight for the fridge. It's empty, and I'd just make passive-aggressive comments in my mind before never inviting him again. I certainly wouldn't play for his college football team.

Apparently they do things a bit different down south. Enter LSU coach Ed Orgeron:

Let's hope Orgeron stays at LSU forever. He's entertaining and will keep the Tigers at two-loss status his entire career. What more can you ask for from an LSU coach?

WORKERS OF THE WORLD, UNITE! If you think Ohio State fans were salty about the Buckeyes' class, you haven't checked out what Michigan fans think about their No. 11 class.

It includes a Missouri basketball recruit and a 20-year-old factory worker from Germany.

From The Washington Post:

When college football’s early signing period commences for the first time Wednesday morning, it will already be well past Julius Welschof’s scheduled lunch hour at the Krones manufacturing plant in Rosenheim, Germany. The 20-year-old has worked at the factory for more than a year, building machines that fill plastic bottles with water, but he hopes his boss will let him have some time off in the afternoon to celebrate perhaps the most important occasion of his life. Welschof announced Wednesday morning on Twitter that he would sign a National-Letter-of-Intent to play college football at Michigan, flipping a committment to Georgia Tech and making him one of the most intriguing new defensive end prospects in the Big Ten, and perhaps the most unlikely.He still giggles about how he got here. Welschof was introduced to football in the front yard of a family friend during a visit to Florida four years ago. He started playing with an obscure club team in Germany the following year and took a second job to pay his way to attend several college camps last summer in the United States just to get scouted. Now he hopes that his path will help pave the way for other Europeans who want to play major college football.

Welschof perfected in the same dojo as all other Generation-Z members: YouTube. He's 6-5 and his coach says he runs a 4.5 40-yard dash, which I'm sure is a truthful number. He's also a moguls skiing champion.

Good on him for chasing his dream and earning a spot, though. I've always contended overseas talent is an underdeveloped market in college football. Welschof could be a beast.

I still can't help but laugh that Harbaugh is turning to German factory workers for an upper hand on his enemies. Just how Big Blue fans drew it up when he left the stone vault that was supposed to serve as his tomb, I'm sure.

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