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Remember when I told you that Bernie Sanders was a Hype Dealer who was breaking the Crack Commandments? Of course not, you forgot to read it. Basically, the main rule I told you about that Good old Bern was breaking is the most important one of all; “Never get high on your own supply.” It’s pretty arrogant to think one can smoke their own dope and not end up turning into a fiend like ones customers, yet Bernie is an ego driven character. Christopher Wallace, aka Notorious B.I.G. was most emphatic about not getting high on your own shit, but here we are, staring into the abyss, super close to having a hype monster in control of our party. Some people love the hell out of Bernie Sanders, some people are indifferent, and some people cannot stand him or his bullshit movement. I fall into category three. So, take my words with a grain of salt if it makes you feel any better. But, let me tell you something before you tune me out. Bernie has zero plans to try to win anyone over who is not already with him, and that’s a big deal. When asked if he would make overtures to moderate Democrats should he win the nomination, Sanders said the party would have to adjust to his movement rather than the other way around. Did he just basically say, “Bend the knee?” Um? At first, I assumed that Bernie was talking about the DNC or elected officials, I mean, he couldn’t really be saying he had no plans to reassure reluctant Moderate and Centrist Democratic VOTERS over to his side. Right? He has to know we depend on votes from people in the middle, moderate Independents, and even Conservative Dems in order to win the electoral college, doesn’t he?

“People in the Democratic Party are going to take a look at reality and in a millisecond, they’re going to make a decision: The choice is between Bernie Sanders and Donald Trump. They may say, ‘Oh, God, I don’t like Bernie Sanders. . . . He doesn’t comb his hair nicely enough. But you know what? There is no choice. We’re going to support Bernie Sanders.’ ”

That’s what Hillary thought, are you using her playbook minus the outreach part? Sure, we may say that thing about having no choice. (I won’t.) Or, maybe we’ll say, “We already know what tragic shit Trump will do, but we have no idea what the fuck this crazy guy I never liked who combs his hair with a balloon, will try to do. Maybe we should sit this one out.”

That’s one possibility out of millions of possibilities. Voters may even say, “Wow, this guy is arrogant as fuck! He refuses to even try to reach out to us, let’s focus our energy down ballot.” The fact of the matter is, Bernie isn’t anymore owed votes than Hillary Clinton was. And after four years of the leftists decrying her campaign for not trying hard enough to win votes, this plan of “Take me or leave me, I don’t give a fuck about your vote enough to earn it,” does NOT bode well for a Sanders victory if he is the eventual nominee.

Steve Schmidt, who worked on the McCain campaign in 2008, says,

“They’d run against him as a radical who once traveled to the Soviet Union and ask, ‘Do you want to give up one of the greatest economies ever for that?’ ”

Oh, you mean his love of Breadline might actually turn voters off?

Yes, it sounds stupid. I won’t bother to show you the whole “Honeymoon in Russia in my Underpants” video right now, it’s just grosses me out. But I brought it up just so you can imagine the ads running day and night of Bernie and some sweaty, stinky, half naked men singing, and looking Filthy McNasty on every TV in America.

But, for some reason, Bernie doesn’t believe his radical past, you know, praising murderous dictators, trashing America, and asking kids how much dope they’ve done will be problematic AT ALL.

Sanders fiercely rejected that view and says Democrats must rally around his movement in order to beat Trump, rather than assume that Biden might have a better chance of winning.

Oh, really? We need to dumb Biden, and rally around the guy who has zero plans to try to include us, eh? Sounds DELIGHTFUL. Sike.

“The way you defeat Donald Trump is by having the largest voter turnout in the modern history of this country* — that’s how you beat him,” Sanders said. “We think we can get 5, 10, 15 percent of the vote Trump got because an increasing number of people who voted for Trump understand now that he’s a liar and fraud” who backed conservative policies.

*Obama did that.

Who the fuck told you that voters who backed Trump don’t like Conservative policies? WTF? Oh. Yeah. I keep forgetting that Bernie is a hype fiend who gets high off of a steady supply of his own churlish, delusional, and ever-present hype. I keep thinking that Bernie must really believe he is the new Obama. Maybe it’s the crowds chanting his name, the loyalty of his movement, and the very largeness of his crowds that misinforms him.

Bernie Sanders is no Barack Obama, not even close.

Members of the media sat in the back in the dark, ignored by the Sanders crowd amid the revelry. Attendees toasted “the Bern” and spoke excitedly about the prospect of victory in February. The bitter disappointments of four years ago seemed distant.

They are going to go batshit when he loses, huh? Oh, fuck me.

Hours before midnight, Sanders took the stage and told them to believe. Bitch, are you Tinkerbell? What the fuck? Okay, okay, maybe it’s just me, but I think this shit is getting to him, and he has hit the point where he’s about to start crowd surfing, while his adoring fans scream, “Mysha Mysha!” like he’s Daenerys Targaryen. I’m only half joking. This is what happens when you give free passes to some old, angry, self important and repetitive jerk. He turns into a fucking DIVA. It’s Fundraising time!! Donate $5 or $10 today on Paypal or Venmo, to help pay for the upcoming series of Vetting Bernie articles that are coming your way. And for Weed.

WashingtonPost