CHAPTER WARNINGS: Feels.

NOTES: Almost done! And just in time, too; NaNoWriMo is next month, and I'll be cracking the whip over myself yet again. Another book is just on the horizon, everybody (for those of you who missed it, google "Bleeding For Eurydice" to see about my last one). I'm excited and nauseated, and very mildly irritated that I couldn't get That Other Fanfic Project done before NaNo. But it will be waiting for me in December!

And thanks to everybody else for their reviews! I'll get to a couple of specific ones now:

Pandarin: Wow, thank you! Sorry, I don't think I'll be working in anything about Anna finding other partners (if that's what you were after), but maybe this chapter will have a bit of what you wanted as far as possessiveness goes.

TheChronicle: I'm really not sure why you continue to read the story when you've set yourself up to be disappointed no matter how this chapter goes. But I guess that's your (dubious) choice. As for the rest of your review, it comes across as a lot of nitpicking because you felt chastised by my previous response. Example: just because Anna doesn't want to be weighed down by a lot of material possessions doesn't mean she's forgotten how the world works; money is still part of that world, and you can't just hand an airport official a bunch of hand-made pottery to purchase a ticket. I merely didn't think going into tedious details about Anna's financial situation was necessary to the story, or would have been interesting to the reader. But again, you already dislike her, so it doesn't surprise me that you think she's stupid. Either way, this will be my last response, so I wish you good health and long life, and that you find a way to relax.

Jw: I would like to get back to RB eventually. However, my writing partner for that fic no longer has interest in continuing, so that has made it hard for me to go back to it. I'm kicking around ideas, though, and next year looks promising! Ahhh, too many projects!

~ CHAPTER SIXTEEN ~

The Arendelle Cove Regional Airport was a tiny, pathetic one, but more likely than not her sister would be hopping a small "puddle jumper" from there to an airport that served as a more central hub. That was where the larger jet aircraft would take her all the way to Brazil, or perhaps to a point halfway along.

Elsa made it there in record time. Normally, the drive would take forty minutes, but by speeding through a few stale yellow lights and taking sharper turns, she was able to shave it down to half an hour, including the time spent abandoning her car in the passenger dropoff and storming inside.

They demanded she buy a plane ticket to get past security. Elsa wanted to, even though the wasted expense would be justified if she could catch up to Anna. On the other hand, she didn't even know if Anna was there yet, or what flight she had, and they refused to tell her anything about the flights going out. That left her arguing with the staff.

"Look, I just want to take a quick look around," she tried to plead with them. "My sister is leaving and I didn't want to miss her, but she's already here, and… can't you have her paged? Anything?!"

"Even if we could, she wouldn't be able to come back through security," the man told her patiently, a tight smile on his face. She knew she was being belligerent, and he would almost certainly complain to his fellow customer service reps about her during one of their breaks. "Not without having to go through every single check all over again."

Hands clutching the edge of the counter, she leaned in. "Listen. I know this is just you doing your job, but I seriously need to talk to her — I have no idea when I'll see her again! Can't you bend the rules? At least page her? Anything!"

"Ma'am, I can't do anything other than ask you to buy a ticket so you can get through security. Unless you think she is a safety concern, we don't normally page customers for non-customers…" But he looked a little less firm on the secondary point.

"Please?" she half-begged, feeling her eyes welling up. She didn't want to achieve results in this fashion, but it looked like it was going to happen, regardless. She truly was upset, and there wasn't anything wrong with letting that show in order to avoid a disaster. And she could think of no greater disaster than Anna leaving without knowing she would be missed.

Just when she was about to open her mouth and try some other method of persuasion, he sighed and picked up the phone. "What was her name?"

"Anna Nieves. And if she doesn't come, I might buy a ticket, after all — I have to find her. I have to."

He thumbed a button, then held the mouthpiece up to his mouth without bothering with the earpiece. "Anna Nieves, you have a passenger page at the service counter. Anna Nieves to the service counter." Then he hung up the phone and looked her dead in the eye. "That's all I can do, I'm sorry."

"Thank you…" She squinted at his nametag. "David. Thank you so much."

"My pleasure," he said with a weary, but more genuine smile.

It took at least ten minutes of pacing up and down, wringing her hands anxiously and hoping she wasn't too late, before Anna came into view. One of the airport security personnel was with her, and she looked bewildered until she saw who had paged her. Then she sighed, smiling a little weakly.

"Shoulda known," she mumbled. "Hey, Sis."

Elsa didn't say anything, at first. She simply reached into her purse, then set both her iPod and a small Bluetooth speaker on the counter. With a flick of her thumb, she started it playing a dated-yet-heartfelt ballad.

"Looking through my old drawer

Came across the letter you wrote

Said you needed time away

That was so long ago

All my life I've waited to see your smile again

In my mind I hated not able to let go

Come back to me, I'm beggin' you please

Come back to me, I want you to

Come back to me, I'm beggin' you please

Come back to me…"

As it played on, Anna pushed her hands into her mouth, a noise halfway between a sob and a giggle floating out from between her fingers. Before the lyrics could continue into the next verse, she spoke.

"More Janet?"

"Yeah," Elsa breathed, stepping forward quickly and closing the distance between them, leaving the song to play behind her. "Listened to it all the way here. I'm glad I have that speaker now, even though I don't think I used it more than once since I got it from my Secret Santa. The music doesn't sound as good through the actual iPod speaker, and I dislike wearing headphones."

"You know your car has an iPod dock, right?" When Elsa only blinked, Anna rolled her eyes and laughed. "Oh well, doesn't matter. This is super sweet, and I appreciate your coming all the way down here, but… I mean, what's the point? You can't handle me interrupting your feng shui on a daily basis, and there's no reason you should have to. I annoy the shit out of you, and I feel dumb for realising it was a problem so late."

"You do not! Anna… I am sorry you thought that. Yes, I sometimes am annoyed by things you do, and I won't deny that, but that's not the same as me being annoyed by you as a person. I'm just not used to… to sharing my life, to being more open the way you are." Sighing, she reached out to press a hand into Anna's neck, but the redhead flinched, so she withdrew the hand. "Oh, I'm sorry if I-"

"N-no, it's okay," she hurried to reassure her, catching the hand before it could entirely retreat behind her back. "I didn't mean to overreact. Sorry."

The corner of Elsa's mouth twitched up. "Seems like we're both a little sorry." As Anna smiled back, she whispered, "Um… are you all packed? Toothbrush, wallet… phone?"

"Yeah, don't worry. And I… I was gonna answer your messages once I was on the plane, promise. Figured if I tried to do it now, I'd lose my nerve and cancel my flight, go back to your place. I'm determined to do what's right, even if it's hard."

"But I… don't want you to go."

Anna's face fell, but she took a quick breath to steady herself. "Sorry, but I have to now. Before, I just had a potential ticket in my bank account, but this one is non-transferrable. Either I get on that plane, or… I lose all my money and I won't be able to get to Brazil at all. Sucks to be me, but I just don't have a thousand bucks lying around to blow on a second ticket."

"Would that be so terrible? To have to stay here with me?"

Anna blinked rapidly, mouth agape. "I… you know that's not what I meant, right?"

"Yes, I know. But I also meant that… that I know you feel compelled to do whatever it is you'll be doing down there. Digging wells or building huts, working in soup kitchens. God knows! And I'm not trying to say those things aren't important, I know they are, but… oh, couldn't you just do work like that here, where you can come home to me afterward?"

"Elsa…"

"Honestly? I'm a little afraid of how you and I have been together. It's not something I have a lot of experience with, but I…" She searched for words, lips moving wordlessly. "You and I, it feels…"

"Balanced. Like a duality; your dark against my light, and my dark against your light. Yin and yang." Stepping closer, she brought their joined hands up to press between their chests as she closed the rest of the distance. "I know I'm normally the chill one, but honestly, this really does scare me a little, too."

"Because it's me? Because it's… coming from somewhere neither of us expected? That other people won't be able to accept?" Anna shook her head. "Then what?"

"I told you. I'm afraid of losing someone so precious to me. That changing our relationship might risk what we already have. That's happened enough with regular people. What if I lose you? That terrifies me, a lot, because you're so much more important to me than most people! I'm scared!"

Elsa kissed Anna's forehead, and she watched as her eyes closed, as she relished the contact despite trying to remain calm. "And me, as well. Right now, this very second."

"That's different; I'm not going to be 'lost'. Just… away. And not for that long, I promise. A year, probably; the program is supposed to be ten months, I think. And don't forget, this was always my plan; I know it doesn't make sense to you, but this is my job, as much as I really have a 'job' in the traditional sense."

"But a year is too long! I… I already lost so much of my life with you! A decade of…" Her throat closed up on her, and she let out a choked sound as she moved to look away, but she could not fully break the contact between them. Nor was Anna inclined to, it seemed. That left both of them still engaged with each other, but Elsa's head turned very slightly. "Of losing you over and over, tiny visits that only reminded me how much I hated you leaving!"

Anna let that sink in for a moment before whispering, "We were becoming who we are now," leaning in to kiss the back of Elsa's hand where it rested between them. "And that doesn't mean I never missed you, but after coming back and feeling who you are now, experiencing this… wasn't it worth it? Our hearts have finally connected!"

"No," she blubbered stubbornly, and Anna laughed very softly. "I hated losing you. I hated every moment you were gone, I just… l-learned not to think about it after a while."

Squeezing her fingers, she whispered, "See? You moved on. You can move on again, Elsa."

"I didn't! Don't you get it?! I didn't move on, I just buried the pain s-so I wouldn't lose my mind completely!" The tentative smile fell from Anna's face. "And I tried to tell you the last few times you were here, and it made me feel like a selfish… complainer, I don't know! So I buried it again, and again, and just decided I was never going to tell you! What would be the point? You were so happy out there, without me, so… so I smothered my feelings."

"You really… it hurt you that much that I was gone?" No answer came. "Elsa, wow, it… you never said, and I didn't see- I couldn't know…"

"You found it so easy to leave. To leave me, over and over, and I hated it, and I tried to hate you. Thought it w-would be easier if I did. But how can you hate the only person who's ever mattered in your life? Even if they abandon you…"

"No, never 'abandoned'! That wasn't what I was trying to do! God, I didn't think you needed me! You looked so strong, so beyond needing me around to…" Making her own choked sound now, Anna reached up to brush a tear from Elsa's cheek. "God, Sis, you were so incredible! Like a force of nature, and I was just this pathetic little sister who was in the way, disappointing you all the time! Every day, you had something new to explain to me about how much I failed to measure up, a-and you were always right! So I wanted… I wanted to get out of your way so you wouldn't have to worry about me anymore! To go out into the world, prove that I could figure myself out, and not just be a- be such a big weight around your neck, like- I don't know!"

Elsa winced over and over as every word stabbed into her like nails in her coffin. It was regrettably true that she had been needlessly harsh in those days of mourning; Anna was always underfoot, trying to cheer her up in increasingly inane ways. It had been surprising her with tickets to some comedy show — which Elsa had been interested in before the funeral, but considered to be a huge waste of money — that had been the last straw; that multiple-hour argument had ended their "sisterhood" for the first time. Ensured that she wouldn't see Anna for several years, and even then only for brief visits.

"You never disappointed me," Elsa swore to her, trying to ignore how hollow that rang in the face of the insults and reprimands she had hurled back then. "I was mad, and bitter, and grieving! The only thing you ever did that disappointed me was leave! B-because then…" A helpless shrug. "Then you were gone, and I had to do everything on my own. To take care of Mother and Father's estate, and f-figure out how to live without them, and without you! There's no way for me to explain how lost I was that first year after you left, how much I…"

She couldn't continue; the words were too hard. A hand appeared on Elsa's upper arm, stroking up and down. "Go on. I…" Her voice was breaking, but she pressed on, "I need to hear this. And I think you need to say it."

"I'm n-not blaming you for it, but it hurt so much! Why didn't you love me enough to stay?!"

"That's not true," she breathed sadly, looking around the airport. After another sigh, she pressed her forehead against her sister's. "I left because I love you. Because… I was only hurting you by hanging around and… and not letting you go through the steps of grief. Neither of us were. I didn't fully get it then, I just knew that I wasn't helping, and you were mad, and I… and I needed to leave you alone."

"I know I was intolerable! Always shouting, a-and throwing the porcelain reindeer — I spent days crying about that when I realised that I couldn't put it back together! That it was gone forever! But none of that was ever about you, alright? I just couldn't handle losing them, and I didn't know what to do about you anymore, and… and I was taking it out on you, which wasn't right but I didn't know what else to do! You were the only one I could let see that side of me, ugly as it was! Maybe all along, it was this 'energy' or whatever you want to call it! Maybe I just can't get along without you!"

Leaning in, Anna pressed a kiss to Elsa's cheek, one warm, and firm, and earnest. "Oh, Elsa… I wish I'd been less stupid back then! I know I wasn't really an adult yet, but when I think back to you… shouting, and…" Her tears welled up more. "I thought you hated me! B-because… because I couldn't save them!"

"What?" Blinking rapidly, she ended up scoffing as she spoke, so taken aback was she at that statement. "How could you save them? You weren't even there! Don't be ridiculous!"

"I don't know! A-and I didn't then, either, I just f-felt like you resented me for still being around while they weren't anymore!" Then she took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Okay. Okay, I'm fine, I just need to… to find my focus again."

"No, don't." When Anna's eyes flew open, she urged, "Don't find it. Don't bury all this again, just… tell me. Everything, all of it, please!"

Tears leaked from the corners of her eyes, and she let out in a small voice, "Th-there isn't anything else. I just thought you hated me, and w-wanted me to die. Or at least, stop being such a child; that's what you said, wasn't it? That I was 'too old to keep acting so irresponsible'. And you were right; I didn't even apply for colleges, I just wanted to go b-backpacking, and… that's still exactly what I did. So I proved you right, and…"

"But you did it for yourself, too, didn't you?" Anna didn't answer, and Elsa's heart began to sink. That was a truly awful prospect. "Didn't you?!"

"Yes, of course. But I… I made it a 'way of life' for you. Because I didn't want to come home, a-and disappoint you all over again. I'm still not that interesting, and I don't have some kind of Harvard degree, or a best-selling romance novel, or… I'm not any smarter than I was back then, apparently, because I didn't even know I was pissing you off with how pushy I was being until you had to shut me down!. So… you know?"

"Anna… no, no." Cupping her face with one hand, Elsa whispered, "You are my sister. No matter what happens, I'll always, always love you. Even when I felt like you were abandoning me, I… it wasn't the end. I knew I'd see you again, even if I didn't know how long between."

"And I knew I'd see you again. My hope was that, um… someday, I'd come back, and I'd be done. Really me, and not just immature, almost-me. That something one of us said would clue me in that I was ready to stay home. That I'd finally 'grown up' or whatever. But I didn't mean to hurt you, or make you think I was abandoning you — I just honestly thought me being around was more of a burden than anything!"

"Never. Never a burden, even when I acted like it was, I… GOD was I wrong!" They both grinned a little at the inflection. "All I want is you here with me now. Okay? I'm sorry for how I acted when I was young. We both were way too young to handle their passing very well, and I guess sometimes I forget that."

"Yeah." Nuzzling in against Elsa's shoulder, she whispered, "Man… I've been getting along without you for so long that I guess I forgot how it felt to have you with me. How good, how… perfectly symmetrical."

"Perfect. I love you, Anna."

"I love you, too," she replied instantly, smiling.

"I might mean as more than a sister."

"Me, too. Is… that alright?"

"I think it is." Sighing bitterly, she asked the question that she didn't want to ask in the here and now, but she needed to. "Do you have to go?"

Nodding, Anna leaned up to kiss her other cheek, then her lips, albeit briefly. "Yes. I promised I would help my friend, Esmeralda; I don't like to break my word, it's bad karma. But if you want… you could come visit me?"

That took Elsa aback. She hadn't considered that. "I… oh. Could I, really?"

"Of course!" Anna laughed easily. "I invited you to all the time, back when we were still writing back and forth to each other. Remember?"

"Yes, but you were hopping from place to place so much that by the time I saved up vacation time, you were somewhere else."

The shorter girl's clear turquoise eyes sparkled. "You were going to come? You tried? I thought you just didn't want to."

"No, I did! But there wasn't enough time, or money, or notice… you know how I am. Serial planner. It was easier to just let things go by the wayside than confront you and ask for firmer dates."

"Yeah," she giggled, though the pleased expression at finding out Elsa had tried remained. "I know you need to make plans and have stability. I'm bad at that, clearly. My fault. You don't need that kind of headache."

"I need you." The flush that crept into Anna's cheeks in response to such a hungry phrase was flattering and genuine, and Elsa tried not to think about her own face, how much she was telegraphing to the entire airport. Instead, she whispered, "I swear to God, Anna, I don't understand our relationship anymore, but I know it's necessary. That I haven't felt… I haven't cared about my life in so long! Because you're what gives it… shape, and form!"

"I am not," Anna tried to brush aside, but Elsa darted in to kiss her again, and she shivered. "E-Elsa, people are going to stare! Are you sure you don't mind?"

"I'm through 'minding'." Then she cleared her throat. "Alright, so that might be an exaggeration; I can't change that drastically overnight, but I won't let that stick up my ass keep me from telling you that… that I need you, okay? In so many ways!"

"Lucky stick." As Elsa was chuckling and Anna's lip quivering, Anna finally embraced her fully. "And you have me. You always had me. My other relationships, they were alright, but I was probably comparing them to you a lot without realising. Like, would Elsa approve? Were they as smart as Elsa? As strong, as independent? As… beautiful?"

Ignoring the heat building along her neck, she said, "But I thought you didn't care about physical beauty."

"I do; I'm only human. It's just not a factor in why I'd date somebody, that's all." Then she whispered, "But you really do have an incredible ass, stick or no stick. That wasn't a lie to make you feel better."

She grinned into Anna's neck, thinking about some of Belle's comments in addition to what Anna had done to said region. "I'm finally starting to believe you, even if I can't believe it myself."

"That's good enough for now." They fell silent for a few seconds before she whispered, "So… will you come? I can't ask you to sacrifice that money, and I'll be back after Brazil either way. To stay, even. I won't leave you alone for that long again, I promise; never again. But… if you could come… I'd try to help get some money togeth-"

"That isn't necessary," she interrupted firmly, kissing Anna's cheek as she drew back to gaze down at her. "I do have the money. Well, not a limitless supply, but after years of barely ever taking a vacation… there's more than enough to take one to Brazil to see my sister."

"You're sure? I don't want you having to sell any stock options just for a trip."

"No stock options need be sold," Elsa assured her with a soft smile. "I was actually considering a Caribbean cruise that Cindy kept mentioning, even though I loathe the idea of being stuck on a ship full of strangers. But it seemed a shame not to use up my vacation days. And… this is a more appealing option."

With a quick nod, Anna reached up and ran her fingers through Elsa's slightly-disheveled hair and smiled softly. "Okay. So I'll be back, or you'll be down. I promise that I'll stay in touch — and not like last time when I said that and you were mostly not even listening, and I thought you didn't really want to talk to me, so I didn't try very hard. This time, I'll do better. I swear."

"Swear on what? You don't believe in Jesus."

"I swear on… the khamsa you're wearing," she breathed with a pleased little smile. Elsa nipped it up out of her blouse, and Anna trailed a fingertip over the jewels. "You don't know how great you look wearing it. That's what I was hoping when I saw it, even though you don't normally wear stuff like this. Barukh attah Adonai," she added in a quieter voice.

Rolling her eyes at the further compliments and deciding not to comment on the foreign words, she said, "You're right, I don't. But I love it — and thank you for promising to keep in touch."

"Yep! You're gonna get so many postcards!"

"I'd better," Elsa half-laughed, half-sobbed. "I also hope you quit screening my calls." She decided to put a lid on much further laughing or crying, since they both had the potential to get out of hand in the middle of the airport.

"That was only until I made it out of the airport," Anna snorted. Then she took a deep breath and said, "Okay, it's settled. We'll see each other really soon. Maybe not as soon as either of us wants, but… but it's not the end. That's so important to me." Leaning up, she kissed the corner of Elsa's mouth so tenderly that Elsa slid her own mouth over, beginning a deep kiss that prompted a few clearing of throats from the personnel. Then she pulled back with a little gasp and licked her lips.

"Mmmhh… got that to look forward to."

"Yeah," Elsa half-panted. "Um… I'm sorry for hunting you down like this, but I couldn't handle you leaving without knowing. And I couldn't count on you calling so I could explain myself, even though you said in your video that this isn't forever, so…"

"No apology necessary. I'm… yeah, I can't say how grateful I am that you came! My heart feels a lot more at peace now. This is gonna keep me going until we can be together again, Elsa." Another, more brief peck. Then she grinned and whispered, "You put that song on repeat."

All Elsa did in reply to that was look away in shame as the same refrain started over. When Anna squeezed her more tightly and engaged her lips again, she forgot everything, felt the surroundings drop away as she opened herself up to everything. For the first time in her life, she felt as if she truly didn't care what anyone else thought. It was so beautiful and effervescent, and she wanted to hold onto that as long as she could.

And then she heard the announcement: "Now boarding group A for the 7:15 flight bound for PDX, connecting to New York City, Los Angeles, Seattle, Miami, Chicago, and points beyond. Repeat, group A may now board for flight 452 to PDX."

"That's me," Anna said with a bitter whisper. "I should make sure I make it by the time they board my group. Which, thanks to security, means I gotta go now."

"You shouldn't. But… if you must, you must."

"I must. For a little while. Only months, okay? Not even a whole year, I promise to your necklace. And then I'm all yours."

"Oh, Anna…" She wasn't sure at all what to say anymore, so she simply kissed her one last time, trying to pour all of her love, her regrets, and her yearning for their future into the contact. And she felt it returned; Anna's feelings were not the exact same ones as hers. No, they were the mirror image; flipped in some ways, but the same. The other half of the balanced set.

"Hmmh," Anna breathed as she pulled back, nose crinkling in amusement. "The khamsa keeps poking me."

"Sorry. Is it really a good luck charm?" Then she smiled at her little sister and whispered, "What am I saying? Look at where I am; maybe it is."

"Close enough. I'll tell you about it soon; maybe I can call from PDX. Think I have a layover." Biting her lip, Anna darted in for another peck before she pulled back for good. "I'm really gonna be missing you this time. Just as bad as the first time I left, if not more. Or maybe not more, but in different ways."

"Hey, wait." Grabbing up the iPod, she pushed it into Anna's hands. "Take it."

"Aww, I don't really need-"

"Doesn't matter. You can have it, I… I'll buy another, re-download the music. Just… I want you to have that, have something of mine. You left me the necklace, and, um… the bag."

At the mention of it, Anna's deeply touched expression gave way to a bemused one. "Maybe that was a dumb idea, but my heart was in the right place. Or my pit, I guess?"

"Shhh!" Elsa breathed urgently. "I might be alright with this entire airport seeing me kiss a woman, but bedroom specifics are not for public ears!"

"Sorry!" Anna cackled, clutching the iPod and speaker to her chest for a few seconds, cherishing them. Then she slipped them into her pockets, muffling the music as she placed her hands on Elsa's shoulders, delivering one more kiss than she had planned to give. "Okay, now I really gotta go. They only promised to let me back through security if I go through all the screening stuff again, so I need time for that."

"No, I understand. I'm sorry."

"Never be sorry for today. Never, ever, ever."

Stepping back with tearful eyes, Elsa raised her hand to wave and whispered, "Never, ever."

That was it. Anna turned to look at her and wave as often as she could, grinning from ear to ear, and Elsa waved back with her other hand clutching at her heart, trying to claw it out of her own chest. Her fingers eventually closed around the golden charm on her necklace, holding it so tightly that she could feel it digging into her palm. Then, after she had passed the security checkpoint, Anna was gone.

"Wow," David remarked at last when she was turning to go, a suspicious look in his kind eyes. "Didn't know you and your 'sister' were so close."

"Neither did I a few days ago."

Shrugging, he typed a few things into his terminal as he added, "I sure never kiss my sister like that."

"Really? That's too bad for you." As she walked away toward the exit, Elsa remarked over her shoulder, "But I don't have a single regret."

~ o ~

Then she was making her way back home. At the first red light, she quickly texted Anna a redundant goodbye, and then at the next, a brief invitation to Belle. Though she didn't want to immediately unload all of her emotional baggage onto her friend, she had two dinners that she couldn't possibly eat all by herself. The prospect was certainly better than going back to an empty apartment.

To her surprise, despite her timetable to board her flight, it was Anna who texted back first: a heart emoji and nothing more, but Elsa found herself sobbing, anyway.

How was she going to get through the next year?

~ To Be CONCLUDED ~