John Cena. This man is a man. A big man. A big man always has the biggest secrets. Allow me to elaborate. John Cena has been a wrestler for decades now and is still in half decent shape, something most wrestlers could only dream of pulling off in their careers. But why is John Cena the exception thus far? Why has his age not caught up to him yet? Obviously, its because John Cena is messing around with the space-time continuum, AND LITERALLY NO OTHER REASON. He’s not on the brink of retirement, he’s not just in really good shape. No. John Cena has achieved what we all thought impossible, HUMAN TRANSCENTION. Now, you may be asking for ‘EvIdEnCe’ for such a claim, but the evidence has been slapping you in the face since John Cena began his ungodly blood fueled rampage through the WWE. Even before his time in the WWE, John Cena has been known for his doctorate in thuginomics, and quantum physics, as well as many other science titles I don’t give a crap about. SO we know he can pull this kind of crap off, we know he has the ability to transcend. Since wrestling is in-fact, real, there is 100% certainty that everyone in the locker room fears JooJ CeeC, why? Because he is a walking god, and he has been ever since he first won the WWE title, he’s literally unstoppable. “Oh but, John has lost before, he’s not unstoppable.” BS!!! John Cena has transcended, remember? He has all sorts of tricks he can pull. He simply hands out victories so his powers fly over my and other peoples head, and we don’t speculate that he was messing with the space-time continuum. But how did he “Mess with the space-time continuum”, simple…..HE GAVE THAT B***H A F**K ATTITUDE ADJUSTMENT!!!!! HE THEN GAVE HIMSELF THE ABILITY TO TRANSCEND, AND THEN DID IT, AND ACHIEVED UNLIMITED POWAH!!!!

SO now we know, and while knowledge is power, what do we do now? Well, to be honest, we’re pretty much politicians at this point. We point out and identify the issues, and then don’t do anything about it BECAUSE IDIOTS RUN OUR COUNTRIES, WHICH IS JUST A REAL GOOD IDEA, YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS A GOOD IDEA? COMMUNISM!

*clears throat* Rants and red scares aside, I hope you are now aware of the terrifying being known as Johnathan Cenathantrix, and I hope you stay safe, from his attitude adjustment.

– MEME OVERLORD VEGAN SUPERHERO