Be The Eldritch Abomination​

White.

Blue.

Black.

Red.

Green.

Blue

Black

Blue

perfection through knowledge.

Black

power through opportunity.

Red

freedom through action.

Green

acceptance through growth.

White

peace through structure.

The World of Green.

Green

you will never be alone again. (POKÉMON)



The World of Red.

Blue

White.

Black,

Black

You can almost taste the conflict. (WORM)



The World of Black.

White

shining, White light reaching out of the world and into your soul. (RWBY)



It had only been a matter of time, really. You had been deluding yourself to believe otherwise. Every machine wears down eventually, and that's what you had become, by the twentieth loop. Just a machine, going through the motions.When was the last time you had tried something truly unique? You can't remember. There was that time, when you tried to spark a war in the Americas. It was amazing what a magical girl could accomplish in the mundane world with Time Stop and plastic explosives. You had been trying to... you don't know what you had been trying to accomplish; whatever it was, it hadn't worked. That had been... fourteen loops back?You find it difficult to remember. You'd long since lost count of the number of times you'd gone back. The human mind can only remember so much, and it was just easier to let the years of failure go, to not think about it. You cataloged everything you found out about Mitakihara in your little black book, adding increasingly specific details to dozens of psychological and historical dossiers, and just... didn't think about it anymore.It is becoming increasingly irrefutable that you need something new. A deviation in the pattern, an anomaly. Mitakihara is a giant game board and you need to steal pieces from other games, because, clearly, none of the pieces you already have are going to do the trick. If they could, they would've pulled it off thirty loops ago.You'd already tried shaking the box. You'd set off a string of terrorist bombings in the Commercial District, rigged a lottery and sent Madoka on a world cruise, slaughtered every Witch and magi in a hundred miles, abducted her and locked her in your basement, forced potentials to make very specific wishes at gunpoint... you'd even tried blunt and straight-forward honesty – it never worked. Every single time, Walpurgisnacht homed in on Madoka like a missile, and, every single time,You need to try something new, if not to actually solve the Madoka problem, than to alleviate the tension in your mind. You know just the thing, too. It had happened a long time ago – back when you were still kind and warm and human, and the loops had yet to take their full toll on you.It was, of all things, Walpurgisnacht that hadit. Ablazing to life behind your heart. Walpurgisnacht had shattered the tallest building in the city and dropped the shrapnel on you, but you had felt a dragon born of freedom inside your heart light your everything on fire and, suddenly, you hadn't been in the city anymore, but in a void of infinite nothingness.Ashamed as you are to admit it, you'd panicked. The void was cold in a way that your mind couldn't comprehend, empty in a way that defied emptiness, as if even the concept of nonexistence didn't exist there. But, none of that mattered – what mattered was that you weren't in Mitakihara protecting Madoka.You'd been lost in a vast field of stars, each brilliant and unique and terrifying. None of them belonged to you, but there was a tether, of sorts, a leash of black and blue that tied you to one in specific. Desperate, you'd clawed at it in your mind's eye – and was back in Mitakihara a moment later, standing on a city of ashes and blood and feeling only relief.Several loops had passed before you'd allowed yourself to think about the void again. Not because the howling nothingness horrified you – although it did – or because you feared for your life should you return – although you did. No, you hated and yearned for the void in turns because every star was a new world to flee to, a new refuge to hide away in, where you could be free of your wish, your burden, your Madoka--and there is a part of you, steadily growing with every failed loop, that wants to run away and never look back. There is a part of you that wants to throw your hands into the air and just scream, “Fuck it! I don't care anymore!” There is a part of you that finds it hard to keep signing your name on those middle school transfer papers, month after month after month for six years running. There is a part of you, shrouded in shame and self-hatred, that resents Madoka for always contracting and never freaking listening to you--and did that make you a bad person?Maybe. Most days, you think it does. You're fine with that, with being the villain, with being viewed with nothing but distrust and suspicion. You'd long since gotten used to it. It was nothing new.There is a knocking at the hospital room door.And maybe that is the problem. Nothing is new, anymore. You need something new.You'd come back, to Earth, to Mitakihara, to Madoka. You always did.And, next time, you'd be stronger.The door opens.><><><><><><><>