A co-working FrontBurnervian sent me a press release about a new restaurant that is set to open next month. After careful consideration and data-driven analysis, I have determined that this restaurant, when open at the corner of Routh and McKinney, will have the worst name in Dallas. Yes, it is PL8. Say it out loud! Get it? Actually, the full name is PL8 Bistro & Gallery. According to the press release, PL8 will be a “restaurant-forward concept,” which seems like a wiser choice for a restaurant than a “meat rendering plant-forward concept” or a “sanitarium-forward concept,” so I’ll give them that at least. But if you’ll allow me a few more thoughts:

I feel bad for Fish & Fizz, the restaurant that previously had the worst name in town. Your reign was too brief, Fish & Fizz.

Everyone needs to stop naming restaurants with the This And That scheme. I told you about this already. Why don’t people listen? I helped name The Idle Rich, may Feargal McKinney rest its soul. I know what I’m talking about.

Why did these jokers stop at PL8? If you’re going to be dumb, why not also be stupid? I’d love to eat a restaurant-forward meal at PL8Z.

Do I have to wear a flat-brim ballcap to eat at PL8?

Let’s say I wanted to punch a DJ named D Train. Would I find him at PL8? (Side note: whatever happened to D Train? No one who has ever been punched — allegedly — by Zeke Elliott has ever disappeared more thoroughly than D Train.)

If I wanted to open a chewing-forward gastropub called 4K, should I open it next to PL8 or next to Knife? Or should I make 4K more of a pop-up concept and open it in a 10NT?

The idiocracy is upon us. Here is the press release: