It’s been a whirlwind of a week.

Marv Albert was commentating on an NBA game earlier this year and said at one point, in his very silly voice, “What a w(h)ild finish!” Pretty positive he added that “h” in wild. Ever since then, I’ve tried to add “what a w(h)ild finish!” as much as possible to my daily vernacular. I’m banking on this quiche giving me the w(h)ildest finish to the w(h)ildest week.

I moved from DC to Brooklyn for my quarter life crisis last Tuesday and everything that could have gone wrong made sure it did. My move went off with every single hitch ever. (Wrong front door key? Wrong apartment #? Ikea sells curtain rod wall mounts in packs of one? Who wants a wall bracket for a curtain rod? Hitches.)

Except for these two things: my apartment is incredible and my neighborhood is incredible-er.

Let me present to you a taste of my neighborhood. On the corner of my block is Guerrero Food Center, one of the coolest bodegas I’ve come across so far. When I dropped by yesterday, I bought a snack size bag of Spicy Guacamole Rolled Corn Tortilla Chips (that’s a thing), baking soda, a small bottle of olive oil, and chiles in adobo sauce. It was $6. For everything. All the things. Happy Molly.

Anyways, I’d been wanting to do some sort of Mexican quiche and Guerrero’s made me want one even more. It also made me want to buy tender cactus. So I did.

Oh and the rest of my neighborhood is ridiculously wonderful, too.

PS: My smoke alarm just went off while I was pre-heating my oven for the first time. This brings me to my next awesome point: my smoke alarm is one foot to the right of my stove. Nice.

What a w(h)ild finish start…

You’ll need



1 box of Trader Joe’s Lightly Seasoned Chicken-Less Strips

a few chipotle peppers in adobo sauce (beware: I made this sucker spicy)

1/2 cup of canned corn

3/4 cup tender cactus, divided

1/2 cup canned diced tomatoes (fire roasted with green chiles is yum)

1/2 cup of chipotle salsa, divided

2 tablespoons nutritional yeast

3 egg whites

3 eggs

1/2 cup milk of your choice (I use unsweetened almond milk because it’s typically in my fridge)

1/4 cup cottage cheese

1 cup lite shredded mexican cheese blend, divided

1 tsp chile powder

1 tsp paprika

a few sliced jalapenos

So let’s get right to it

Preheat your oven to 375 degrees. Get really excited when your smoke alarm goes off. Procede like normal. Spray your 9″ baking pan with some cooking spray and set it aside.

Throw your chicken-less strips in a skillet over medium heat. Mix in the chipotle peppers in adobo sauce and cook for a bit. Add the corn and 1/2 cup of tender cactus. Cook a bit more. Add the tomatoes and 1/4 cup of salsa. Cook cook cook. Incorporate incorporate incorporate. Add the nutritional yeast. Cook some more. Taste it. Smile. Take off the heat and set aside while you move on to them liquids and shit.

Whisk together egg whites, eggs, and milk until smooth. Add in the cottage cheese. Whisk whisk whisk. Add 1/2 cup of shredded cheese blend. Whisk away. Add the spices and keep on keepin on.

Spread the chicken-less/corn/salsa/tender cactus/pepper deliciousness evenly in your baking pan. Pour the eggy mixture on top of it. Splatter/scatter the remaining 1/4 cup of salsa and 1/4 cup of tender cactus on the top. Sprinkle (so many “s” words!) the remaining 1/2 cup of cheese on top of all that delicious nonsense. Now add some sliced jalapenos. Artfully.

Bake for 40-45 minutes or until the middle is set.

This quiche is so far my favorite quiche. I’m pretty sure I say that about every quiche I make but I swear, baby, this time it’s different. It’s so spicy and smoky, little bits of still slightly crunchy kernels of corn popping up here and there. The tender cactus is a nice touch, the vinegar-y ness of the pickle-y ness goes well with the spicy everything else. Even the chunks of tomato are making my day a little brighter. I am a big fan. Oh! And the Trader Joe’s Lightly Seasoned Chicken-less Strips? SUCH an upgrade. Except that they are eerily exactly like real chicken in both taste and texture. I’m only 90% sure this box isn’t lying to me.

This quiche might taste even better with a dollop (my favorite word ever?) of sour cream on the side or topped with some crumbled tortilla chips or avocado if you’re into that sort of thing.