I want 2020 to be the year of the phoenix – and in one year I want us to look back on how we dealt with disaster, turned things around and became more resilient to create a more hopeful future. Not screaming at each other about 12 minutes of fireworks.

That is not to dismiss the strong feelings about this year’s Sydney New Year’s Eve celebrations. The criticisms have been at the centre of my thoughts all week. I have spoken to friends from the South Coast, who are in the thick of it, watched the angry online comments sections unfurl and talked directly with countless members of the greater Sydney community. I wanted to know how they felt about the fireworks; should they be cancelled, I asked, do you find it offensive and disrespectful?

The response, from one: "This has been the week from hell. We’re fed up and are all going down to the pub to watch them now. We need a break." A response from another: "Yes. It just misses the mark." I understand and accept that sentiment. But it is worth remembering that the fireworks raised $2 million to put towards the fire relief fund. Tinged with grief, sadness and frustration though they were, for many they were also a moment of collective reprieve from pain – a moment of community connectedness.