The Nobel Peace Prize is an esteemed and venerable award that is given only to the most important and influential humanitarians in history. And an honest to god, in-the-running candidate this year is: The Internet.

Because if there are two words that best describe the Internet, they're "esteemed" and "venerable." If there are three, it's "LOLZ0RzFAG."

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While it's true that the Internet was initially nominated by the Italian version of Wired--who are obviously going to push forth something within their wheelhouse (we should probably consider ourselves lucky that it wasn't "AirSoft Guns" or XKCD)--it has since been backed by some serious folks: 2003 Nobel Peace Prize winner Shirin Ebadi; esteemed professor Umberto Veronesi; even fashion designer Giorgio Armani. (Hey, don't laugh. He counts: Heâs an expert in interpersonal communication according to this sentence.) All sources point to this nomination being legit, and that is absolutelynot retarded. No, really, itâs not. It is absolutely not a crash-helmeted, cork-forked, canât-ride-the-Slip-Nâ-Slide-for-liability-reasons retarded move.

"Oh, goddammit, Chuck! You said your daughter was just dyslexic! The insurance companies are gonna have a field day with this." The Internet is an astoundingly important tool for change that has absolutely revolutionized societyâ¦ or else itâs Cat Fails and Balloon Porn; it all depends on how you use it. In Iran, Twitter single-handedly collapsed a media blockade that, just 10 years ago would have completely quashed a social upheaval. Two nights ago, it was a place where something called âBad Girls Clubâ (which I believe is a show about illiterate whores fist-fighting for welfare checks) was not one, not two, not even three but holy-shit-we're-all-doomed four of the 10 trending topics.

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Annie and Natalie are names of Bad Girls - hell, maybe "Olympics" is too, depending on how ghetto her parents were. But I digress: Iâm sure flawed people have won the Nobel Peace Prize. A personâs vices do not nullify their virtues, and the Nobel Peace Prize is meant to honor the actions more than the nominee. So I not only understand this move, but I actually support it. Here, I've even taken the liberty of writing the Internet's acceptance speech, should it win: