Still, the alleged comb use itself is hilariously absurd. Did Klobuchar wash the comb before eating? Don’t all airplanes have forks on board? Is it even possible to eat a salad with a comb?

Klobuchar’s purported choice of replacement utensil might not have been as uncommon as it sounds. As a high-school swimmer rushing through the locker room, I too once found myself hungry and forkless, and resorted to eating a cup of Greek yogurt with a comb. But a salad is a different textural animal entirely. It’s layered and varied, and sometimes there are croutons.

To get to the bottom of how Klobuchar might have pulled this off, I realized I had to try her choice of cuisine. So I grabbed a salad and bought (and sanitized) three combs and two brushes. For scientific accuracy, I rated each hair tool on the scale of a fork, in terms of its ability to move a Caesar salad from a bowl to my mouth. “50 percent fork” is half as good as a fork, etc.

Here are the definitive results:

The Blingy Brush

Emily Jan / The Atlantic

Right from the start, the most obvious selling point for this lustrous metallic brush is the mirror on the inside of the handle. It’s more useful for a politician on the go than a fork because it doubles as a way to ensure that your teeth are lettuce-free before a big television appearance. Unfortunately, no amount of reflectiveness can save this would-be utensil from itself. Of all the combs and brushes tested, the bristles on this one are the most flexible by far, which might be a gentle plus for hair, but leads to a low yield when picking up leaves and a painful rubber-band-like rebound after the bite. My lips still hurt.

Verdict: 15 percent fork

The Pointy Comb

Emily Jan / The Atlantic

I had high hopes for this comb: Traditional but still fun, it immediately struck me as exactly the type of comb a middle-aged senator would keep on hand. My first bite was underwhelming. The close-set teeth make it hard to spear a satisfying amount of lettuce, though the handle acts as useful leverage. But the optimal strategy, unequivocally, is to use the spear end of the comb. With that sharp pick, shish-kebabing lettuce is a breeze (though croutons, not so much). The best part? Eat with the bottom half, and you don’t even have to wash this comb before brushing your hair.

Verdict: 80 percent fork

The Salon Comb

Emily Jan / THe Atlantic

This is the classic. It’s old-fashioned, more about function than pizzazz. Despite its time-tested reliability as a styling tool, the comb is rather lackluster in the culinary department. Before it’s even touched lettuce, the length and angle make diving into a bowl of greens tricky. Once you’ve maneuvered your way in and arrived at a comfortable alignment, though, this comb becomes a sturdy, passable tool for a forkless flyer. Be careful—this is not a variety of comb known for its ability to bear heavy loads, so wield with caution unless you want to swallow sharp plastic on the campaign trail.