tap tap tap tap tap tap

someone is knocking at the door, i just got to sleep after working all night and someone is knocking on the god damn door at one in the afternoon.

tap tap tap

I'M COMING HOLD ON!, jeez, where are my clothes, grumble grumble grumble.

i open the door to see Laughing Guy, a large black man who lives on the top floor of my building who is a bit crazy and likes to stand on the top of the fire escape in summer in his boxers and giggle for long periods of time, hence the moniker "Laughing Guy". Laughing Guy once told me the bell on his cat's collar was to ward off evil spirits, laughing guy is by nature, unnerving.

laughing guy is standing there with a package and in his suprisingly meek caribbean voice he informs me that "dis was delivered to my apartment by accident, i live upstairs in fifteen" apparently my building might have two apartment fifteens, splendid.

he hands me the box and saunters away while i wake up and realize its my reddit secret santa gift, sleep can wait a bit.

i am certain before i open it that it is a beer mug, because i specifically asked for a beer mug. I've received beer mugs from my two previous secret santa exchanges and I informed my santa this year that only they could complete the hat-trick, the unholy-trinity and clearly awesome trifecta of beer mugs, I was not to be disappointed.

Inside was a mug, a shot glass, a beer, and a letter.

The beer mug is from Cornell University that my santa purchased while on an awesome road trip with his brother, it is a large mug, large to hold the many beers required to contemplate higher learning quandries such as Could the universe be cereal box shaped? Who would win in a dance-off, Carl Sagan or Neil Degrasse Tyson? (Tyson obviously, he won a gold medal in dancing. although i'm sure Sagan could bring out some old school moves in a all cordoroy leisure suit that would be sure to impress even the coldest of dance enthusiasts), and if it is possible to like kraft dinner too much, it's not, but one should ponder already decided facts from time to time in order to prevent the gout and becoming bland.

The shot glass is from Queens University, it is rather large, I do not drink hard liqour but i will either drink a fuck load of beer out of so it has use or make a rare liqour purchase so that its destiny does not go unfulfilled.

Inside the beer mug was one of those large Grolsch pop-top bottles, a bottle that i always liked. I dont remember posting about grolsch but maybe my secret santa super sleuthed some specifics since stalking sir self so stellarly. splendid.

although i did notice the colour seemed a bit cloudy. the letter explained all that. in a way to subvert the system and avoid high beer prices in ontario, santa homebrews his own booze, inside the bottle is a 10% alcohol hard apple cider that was only bottled on december 1st and should sit for 4-5 weeks, so now i have a beer lined up for new years eve. fick ja!

i still need to get some sleep but not before i drink a beer from this mug. queue some tragically hip tunes.

thanks for the gifts santa, slainte.

Ps: my cat Bingo likes the box everything came in.