You can not hide from me, self-isolating Dominic Cummings tells absolutely everyone in government

Despite being self-isolated after showing symptoms of coronavirus, Dominic Cummings has issued a stark warning to government workers that he is everywhere at all times, regardless of his physical location.

The special advisor to Boris Johnson may not physically be in the offices of state, but has left those underneath him under no illusions that he is watching every single thing they do, as always.

As one Whitehall worker told us, “Dominic was advised to self-isolate yesterday. Have you ever tried to advise a special-advisor to do something they don’t want to do? He didn’t take it well.

“As he left the building he looked everyone in the eye and told them he was watching, that he had eyes and ears everywhere and that he expected their total devotion and loyalty to the cause to continue without question.

“A couple of ministers actually wet themselves. It wasn’t pretty.

“No-one really noticed when Boris self-isolated, because it was just business as usual, with Dominic going around barking orders at everyone and making sure we did what he demanded of us.

“It’s pretty much the same today, unfortunately, because some bastard has put an iPad on top of remote control robot so Dominic can keep popping up over your shoulder every few minutes to see what you’re up to.

“Would it be wrong to hope that maybe he could find himself bedridden for a few days?”