OK, I had to draw out a diagram to figure out exactly what happened in this insane murder mess. So, we've got Brett Nash, a 46-year-old former barge worker, who planned to abduct, extort, and electrocute a rich dude who was trying to get with Nash's wife. He then planned to pin the murder on the rich dude's cat. He shared his plans with a previously convicted killer friend* who then shared the info with his former parole officer. Oops!


How was he going to frame the cat, exactly? Well, he was going to throw the rich dude in a hot tub along with a radio and the cat. You see, because cats like to knock shit into bathtubs (true) and people still have radios (not true).

That wasn't Nash's only potential murder plot, though:

Nash, an intermittently employed man who was facing a bank foreclosure of his home, also contemplated making the would-be victim believe he was wired with explosives collared around his neck - an idea Nash got from a television show - while he drained his bank account for Nash, Manns wrote. Nash also considered carjacking the man and holding him hostage for weeks while forcing him to write Nash a series of checks, Manns wrote.


You gotta give this guy points for creativity.

According to ABC News, Nash pleaded guilty Tuesday in U.S. District Court to a felony count of solicitation of a violent crime. Four other counts, including two murder-for-hire charges, are to be dropped. Nash faces up to 20 years in prison and as much as a $125,000 fine when sentenced March 22.

Murder pro-tip: never try to blame the cat. It's believed (by me and other great people) that 80% of all murders are committed by cats, they're just too smart to get caught.

*well, not anymore, probably.