Being an attentive, sympathetic listener is one of the most important skills to have in a relationship. Unfortunately, it’s also one of the hardest to master, thanks to the 2008 release of Marvel Studios’ seminal blockbuster: Iron Man.

How can you possibly focus on your girlfriend’s story about how she almost missed yoga today when, somewhere in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, an arc-reactor-powered exoskeleton is slamming itself plate by plate onto Tony Stark? Clank clank clank, ratchet noise, charging sound!

Luckily, you don’t have to be a superhero to be a super boyfriend. Listen up to these three tips on being a great listener even though you just spent 45 minutes watching YouTube supercuts of Iron Man suiting up: