These five good looking weirdos on a couch present some sort of alterna-version of the 90s show Friends, in which New York has been replaced by Detroit and jokes have been replaced by Christian activism (or is that the joke?) The giggly kids from Austin, Texas are pretty excited to move to Detroit and, no, it is not because they love Whole Foods and got jazzed about the new store. They will be here to fulfill the Lords' mission for them. In the "very first detroit team video" [not to be confused with the Ad Agency in Dearborn called Team Detroit] they explain how the Lord asked them to found a coffee shop that will be "an art epicenter of a slum community." Also, one of them might be working for Quicken. [The kid on the far left mentions getting an accounting job downtown!]

What's the new Detroit boosterism for this era? Boosterism so strong it floods the unconscious mind! Karen (second from left) has had 19 dreams about moving to the city! And she cannot stop smiling so we are guessing none of them involved her car getting stolen. Her friend Taylor (engaged to the guy in the middle) proudly tells us that Teach For America has accepted her to teach elementary school at the worst schools in Detroit and "love on kids that have never experienced love!" Hey now wouldn't it be nice if someone wanted to help Detroit "rebuild its ancient ruins." Talk to the girl on the far right as this is her mission once she arrives. That and writing the coffee shop business plan.

We see no reason these kids won't do well here. For one, Detroit likes business owners that look good on camera. With the ability to smile and say boostery things, they'll likely end up in one of the 18 documentaries rolling out next year. Second, "coffee shop" is also Detroit's most favorite business plan of the moment, so coupled with art-epicenter this thing can't fail. The only real problem we see, is that they need a third dude in the group so the friends can really be like Friends. Then they can take the couch to the Campus Martius Fountain and splash around for the second detroit team video.

Update! Video appears to have been taken down as of 2:00 p.m. today. It remains unclear how this will effect the opening of Art Epicenter Slum Coffee. We'll be on the lookout for a Kickstarter page.

Update #2: The best commenter in the world posted a copy of the video which we have reproduced below.

· the very first detroit team video [YouTube]

· Detroit Metro Area Gaining on Seattle: A Timeline of Coffee [Curbed Detroit]