The Democratic Party, who swept the legislative assembly of the Atlantic Commonwealth in the recent elections, have turned back on a key campaign promise. Governor Mika3740, also known as SixFootHarvey, said in her acceptance speech last week, that she would work with the Federal government to rename every single post office in the state after French structural Marxist Louis Althusser. Understandably, this caused incredible consternation among the people of the Atlantic Commonwealth, who were alternatively expecting an incredibly Maoist revolution or a return to British rule under a paternalistic monarchy (or surprisingly enough, both). The reason for this was the fact that during the state election campaign, Party candidates had explicitly disavowed any influences from those "goddamn Frenchmen", to quote Marxist theorist and owner of a brilliant Empire-style mansion in Rhode Island, centrist-marxist.





This is what residents of the state had to say. The last remaining member of the proleteriat in New York, whose name we shall not reveal for the sake of privacy, had this to say: "Goddamn these bloody commie bastards. Back in the way, we voted for pinkos and pinkos only! The Republicans used to be pinkos back then! These Frenchmen are doing terrible things to America. Johnathan M. sociologist at Columbia University and 25-time Bronx Beer pong challenge winner said "Personally if I wanted to listen to a bunch of queer pseudo-Marxists talk about their French fetish, I would go to the French riviera" as he packed for his annual vacation in the Maldives.





Governor Mika was unable to be reached for comment, although sources inform us that she and her team are planning a bill to ban biblical studies in the Atlantic Commonwealth, although the reason for this move is yet unknown to the Westerner.