How old is The Simpsons? Over FIFTY of its celebrity guest stars no longer exist!

With FXX 12-Day Simpsons Shebang upon us, every website in the universe is coming up with some sort of listicle based on a loosely refined Wiki… so why not Laser Time?! But seriously, it’s something I kinda wanted to do for a while. If your weren’t one of the unfortunate few who read my semi-recent rant on the whiny Simpsons fans of yesteryear, here’s the essential takeaway: You Are Old. And for some of you, The Simpsons is even older than you. The episodes most Simpsons Snobs consider “classic” also had the luxury of being introduced to them when you were young and impressionable, and they’ve also aired every day in syndication ever since. There’s been no other show with that kind of impact or longevity, no analog for its success or the evolution its taken, but we can emphasize time a bit by showing you just how many memorable Simpsons guest stars no longer exist! Let’s get morbid!

NOTES

– 59 . 61 . 63. That’s my unofficial tally of dead Simpsons guest stars including the three below

-We did not include Marcia Wallace, Doris Grau or Phil Hartman for reasons that should be obvious

-Season 1 has only 1 death! Not until Season 14 does the mortality rate stabilize to that level.

-Despite the odds, Larry King, Dick Cavett and Kirk Douglas are miraculously still alive!

-Even without the appearance by The Ramones, Season 5 is a fucking Holocaust

-Season 16 is the first season with ZERO DEAD GUEST STARS!

-With his knack for animal voices, Frank Welker may be the most unsung Simpsons guest star

UDPATE

-Live long and prosper, Leonard Nimoy.

-Season 23 is no longer death free (RIP Joan Rivers)

-RIP Jan Hooks. Hooks voiced Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon (wife of Apu, mother of eight) in six episodes from Season 9 to Season 14.

SEASON 1

Ron Taylor (Bleeding Gums Murphy)

SEASON 2

Audrey Meadows (Bea Simmons)

SEASON 3

Michael Jackson (Leon Kompowsky)

Chick Hearn (Himself)

Steve Allen (Hemself)

Joe Frazier (Himself)

SEASON 4

Bob Hope (Himself)

Elizabeth Taylor (Herself)

Joyce Brothers (Herself)

Barry White (Himself)

Johnny Carson (Himself)

Leonard Nimoy (Himself)

SEASON 5

George Harrison (Himself)

The Ramones (All of them)

George Fenneman (Narrator, “Marge on the Lam”)

James Brown (Himself)

Ernest Borgnine (Himself)

Werner Klemperer (Colonel Klink)

Robert Goulet (Himself)

SEASON 6

Henry Cordon (Fred Flintstone)

Anne Bancroft (Dr. Zweig)

Johnny Unitas (Himself)

Tito Puente (Himself)

SEASON 7

Mickey Rooney (Himself)

Linda McCartney (Herself)

Harry Morgan (Bill Gannon)

Lawrence Tierney (Don Brodka)

SEASON 8

Paul Winfield (Lucius Sweet)

Rodney Dangerfield (Larry Burns)

Johnny Cash (Talking Coyote)

Jack Lemmon (Frank Ormand)

SEASON 9

Jan Hooks (Manjula Nahasapeemapetilon)

Stephen Jay Gould (Himself)

Jim Varney (Cooder)

Bob Denver (Himself)

Rod Stieger (Captain Tenille)



SEASON 10

Ed McMahon (Himself)

George Carlin (Munchie)

Dick Tufeld (Lost in Space Robot)

Jack Lalanne (Himself)

SEASON 11

Dick Clark (Himself)

Clearance Clemons (Narrator, Grift of the Magi)

Joe. C (Himself)

SEASON 12

John Entwistle (The Who, “A Tale of Two Springfields”)

John Updike (Himself)

Patrick McGoohan (Number Six)

Charles Napier (Warden)

Robert Schimmel (Convict)

SEASON 13

Paul Newman (Himself)

Dennis Weaver (Buck McCoy)

SEASON 14

George Plimpton (Himself)

SEASON 15

Tom Clancy (Himself)

Isabel Sanford (Herself)

SEASON 16

NO DEATHS

SEASON 17

Larry Hagman (Wallace Brady)

SEASON 18

Gore Vidal (Himself)

SEASON 19

NO DEATHS

SEASON 20

NO DEATHS

SEASON 21

Huell Howser (Himself)

Eartha Kitt (Herself)

SEASON 22



Cory Monteith (Flynn)

SEASON 23

Joan Rivers (Annie Dubinsky)

SEASON 24

Don Pardo (Himself)

SEASON 25

NO DEATHS…YET

I’d say feel free to let me know of any I missed, but come on, you’re Simpsons fans on the internet! I can’t imagine I need to ask to be corrected.