You don’t need to be Miss Manners to understand that if your son is under any measure of Chinese detention and then is no longer under any measure of Chinese detention, you ought to be profusely thankful for anyone who had any role, great or small, in making the not-under-Chinese-detention part happen.

Say thank you. Write a note of appreciation. Send a comp pair of ZO2 Primes, the signature sneaker of Los Angeles Lakers guard Lonzo Ball, you know, just in case you might have access to such things.

LaVar Ball couldn’t manage to do that, so let’s start there in the mind-numbingly stupid war of words between he, the outspoken, egomaniacal family businessman and reality television star, and Donald Trump, the outspoken, egomaniacal family businessman and reality television star.

Trump said he spoke to Chinese president Xi Jinping about getting LiAngelo Ball and two UCLA teammates, Jalen Hill and Cody Riley, out of China last week after the three were arrested for shoplifting at a mall in Hangzhou, China. The three were there to play a game for UCLA.

Presumably, Trump did talk to Xi about this. What’s undeniable is that LiAngelo and the others soon flew home. They had been under de facto house arrest in the team hotel. At that point, you don’t sweat the details. Your kid got out. Take the victory. The polite, classy thing is to just say thank you and get on with life, even if Trump was being childish by wondering out loud if he was going to be properly thanked. Of course, polite and classy don’t exist much anymore.

“Who?” LaVar Ball told ESPN. “What was he over there for? Don’t tell me nothing. Everybody wants to make it seem like he helped me out.”

And we were off. LaVar couldn’t act in a decent, adult manner, probably because these days acting in a decent, adult manner is considered a sign of weakness, the prime example of which is none other than Donald Trump’s presidency.

View photos Who’s right in the Donald Trump vs. LaVar Ball feud? Who cares? It’s great comedy. (AP) More

Trump took LaVar’s bait and then took to Twitter, and just when you thought White House distractions and wedge issues couldn’t get any dumber, here you go:

“Now that the three basketball players are out of China and saved from years in jail, LaVar Ball, the father of LiAngelo, is unaccepting of what I did for his son and that shoplifting is no big deal. I should have left them in jail!” went tweet No. 1.

Now that the three basketball players are out of China and saved from years in jail, LaVar Ball, the father of LiAngelo, is unaccepting of what I did for his son and that shoplifting is no big deal. I should have left them in jail! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 19, 2017

“Shoplifting is a very big deal in China, as it should be (5-10 years in jail), but not to father LaVar. Should have gotten his son out during my next trip to China instead. China told them why they were released. Very ungrateful!” went tweet No. 2.

Shoplifting is a very big deal in China, as it should be (5-10 years in jail), but not to father LaVar. Should have gotten his son out during my next trip to China instead. China told them why they were released. Very ungrateful! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 19, 2017

It would be great if the President of the United States was capable of taking the high road and/or do his job without demanding he be patted on the back. LaVar’s sin is the original one here and Trump could have just mumbled to his staff about what a clown the guy was and gone on about his day since there is literally no issue of less importance than this one.

That isn’t Trump, though, and everyone knows it. Hell, that’s probably how he won the election. It’s a reality show, always. A Donald Trump-LaVar Ball Twitter feud is some good, fine entertainment. It won’t decrease steel imports or improve your neighborhood school or help diffuse the North Korea situation, but it’s what everyone will be talking about (instead of the aforementioned).

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