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HORRIFIC scenes unfolded at a Fine Gael meeting yesterday when violent, sub-machine gun-toting feral communists, frothing at the mouth, massacred the uninterrupted flow of the evening.

The guns, which to the untrained eye looked like pieces of paper the communists read from to decry a decade plus of austerity under Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael governments, savagely disrupted the information session on a directly elected mayor for Cork City and reminded us distinctly of scenes reminiscent of Stalin’s gulags.

Today members of Fine Gael were still struggling to comprehend the extreme violently communist putsch that was attempted.

“We kept shouting at them ‘have you a job? Have you a job?’ We had genuine concern for them, we wanted to help. We were ready to throw all sorts of jobs at them but they wouldn’t listen” one Fine Gael member explained, who was on life support after being exposed to a high concentrate of noxious ‘pleb’.

“The videos which emerged look like we’re shouting at them, but we were shouting with them,” added a Fianna Fáil member, who accidentally attended the Fine Gael meeting but couldn’t spot the difference.

During the violent use of words which shockingly suggested systemic poverty and inequality was a ‘bad thing’, the Taoiseach, who was in attendance, was bundled to safety in an armoured tank.

The callous and cowardly actions of the communists were all the more ungrateful after it emerged the meeting was held in the evening especially for those dole cheats who like to sleep in until 3.30pm every day.