Rahul Gandhi, who finally spoke at length about corruption on the floor of the house, further clarified his views on this pressing issue during a short, informal interaction with our reporter outside Parliament during the lunch break. Here are excerpts.

The Unreal Times: Rahul ji, what took you so long to finally break your silence on corruption and the need for a strong Lokpal?

Rahul (looking chuffed): Well, I usually like to stay above the fray and let Pranab da and Manmohan Uncle deal with such crises. But yesterday, I overheard some Congress chamchas saying that perhaps it is time to look beyond me and project Priyanka as the new heir apparent. Some people even went as far as saying that Maneka Aunty should be made the new Congress chief and Varun Gandhi the heir apparent. Uske baad to meri phat hi lee. I knew I had to do something quick.

The Unreal Times: Fantastic. You said you like to think before you speak. What was your thought process leading into your intervention in Parliament?

Rahul: I thought really hard about who should write my speech. Lot of people gave me very good suggestions. Chidu uncle gave me some points about why arresting Annaji was perfectly legal. Sibal Uncle gave me another draft which states why corruption results in zero loss to the nation and is therefore not a big deal. But I needed some fresh, original ideas which would make me look cool.

Finally, Jairam uncle convinced me to accept his draft which I read out in Parliament almost as it is. I applied my mind only to one para which said that we also need to bring back people’s money stashed away in foreign banks. I got that deleted as that has nothing to do with corruption.

The Unreal Times: In your speech, you said that giving in to Team Anna may set a dangerous precedent? Care to elaborate?

Rahul (with a confused expression): Umm…did I say that? Well, Pratibha Aunty is such a sweet and nice President and if agree to the Janlokpal bill, we might get some one more dangerous… er… let me get back to you on this. Need to check with Jairam uncle about what exactly he meant by those lines.

The Unreal Times: No, no we did not mean President… never mind. Why don’t you take a more active role in dealing with such crises since you are expected to take over from Dr. Singh soon?

Rahul (angrily): I just don’t understand why people expect me to have an opinion or intervene in every crisis that my Government has to handle. I provide direction and leadership to the Government as a brand ambassador and party mascot. Since when did brand ambassadors start managing the companies they represent? Is Abhishek Bachchan responsible for the quality of service that Idea provides? Does Mickey Mouse decide which movie Walt Disney motion pictures should produce next? Guys, please get a perspective on this issue.

The Unreal Times: Are you worried that Team Anna members like Kejriwal and Kiran Bedi have become the new youth icons?

Rahul: Not at all. I have told my own team called Team Rahul to launch a new marketing campaign. I will dress up as Gandhiji and visit urban households in UP Tier II towns and listen to their problems. This will prove that I am the pre-eminent practitioner of Gandhigiri, not Anna Hazare.

The Unreal Times: Hmm, that’s deep. Thank you Rahulji for talking to The Unreal Times. And good luck for your forthcoming padyatras.