I am not shitting you up the dick with this one, someone took the time to make this. This is an actual show that pushes the cringeworthiness beyond BREWDOGS into a post-Dark Horse realm of beerTV embarassment:

Before you ask, no, this is not an ironic DDB parody. That is an actual trailer for an actual show.

So the premise, so far as I can glean from the MODERN AHABS website is that a crew of people go to ultra rare beer releases and then…purchase a beer…at retail.

You know those mega-whales that everyone is always talking about, the super limited/tens of thousand of bottle runs, that barely see distro to many many states across the entire nation? Well dream no longer, the mystery of these massive cetacean delights can now swim in pods directly to your eyes.

If it were just a shitty show, then fine, put it on HGTV, and I can move on with my life. I am still waiting for VH1’s I LOVE MONEY to release a criterion collection Blu-Ray, so I am not being some bookish snob about shows that make you pinch the bridge of your nose. This show compels sighs because it degrades beer culture in the way that REAL HOUSEWIVES sets women back to the Gilded Age. The show is unresearched and portrays pursuing these libations as 1) something praiseworthy and 2) fails to authentically demonstrate rare beer, its consumers, or any of the actually hilarious non-ironic aspects of ex-bando beer recluse pathology.

The production value of this show is like if you handed me a GH4 and told me to expose the secret underworld of Frisbee Golf. I am sure that would be an entertaining show for some people, but here’s the thing: I KNOW FUCK ALL ABOUT FRISBEE GOLF. I want to see a profound self-realization about the futility of a hobby that has legitimately degraded into MyFirstStock portfolio. This is some Charlie Papazian pangloss take on a subcultrue that is currently entering an I AM LEGEND phase of ale-fueled brutality.

I posit that the best way to watch these non-ironic shows, is to treat them like a Christopher Guest mockumentary. I can only hope that someone makes an intentionally hilarious iteration of this concept, but I cannot be bothered to do so at this time.

OH SHIT SPEAKING OF BLATANTLY SELLING OUT AND SUBVERTING THE BEER WORLD BUY THIS FUCKING SHIRT THEY ARE ALMOST GONE IMPRESS YOUR CADRE OF TABLETOP GAMING FRIENDS: