College Humor/YouTube screenshot by Chris Matyszczyk/CNET

Will you just look at yourself?

You spend half your day making doltish queries of sublime technology. You can't write a coherent sentence. You have no idea how to tell if you're pregnant. You can't even pronounce Dogecoin.

That is the view Google would have of you, if Google was a regular guy.

This, though, is the second edition of College Humor's "If Google Was A Guy."

The first merely skimmed the surface of the pain an ordinary guy would have being Google.

This one introduces a vital new character: the NSA Guy.

He lurks beneath Google Guy's desk, just waiting to pounce on anything to do with, well, you can guess.

"Hey, man. Let me do my job," pleads Google Guy. The NSA response is everything you might imagine.

What's beautiful, though, is that when Google Guy looks at someone wearing Google Glass, he can't help laughing himself silly.

Though it's very hard to imagine Google being a normal human being, the pain Google Guy suffers is still more bearable than that endured by his Bing counterpart.

Bing guy wouldn't mind you annoying him at all.