Dear Blockbuster: You’re Late.

Dear Blockbuster,

This letter is to inform you that your BLOCKBUSTER ON-DEMAND SERVICE is six months late. Your account has been billed a fee of $4.29 per day as a result.

We understand that you introduced the set-top digital media player this week with the hopes of letting families rent movies from the Internet and watch them on their TVs. Please be aware, however, that your competitor Netflix introduced a similar feature in May. Please also be aware that other services such as Vudu and Apple TV have offered the same functionality for quite some time as well.

As a result, we have no choice but to bill you an inflated fee for every day you were late with your service. Your current total is $794.94, not including tax.

Your satisfaction is important to us. We appreciate your business and trust you will visit us again in the future.

Also, we will be turning your account over to a collection agency if your balance is still unpaid in 24 hours.

Your friends,

Everyone Who’s Ever Paid Your Obnoxious In-Store Late Charges