/rant



FF XV was a boring f-ing game. The fact that Square Enix was even supporting this game with DLC was surprising to me.

The game was flawed on a fundamental level: game design, dungeon design, pacing, story, all of it was severely lacking. The only thing FF XV did well was give you likeable idiots and sometimes decent combat.

Red Dead Redemption 2's pacing is slow and deliberate. When RDR is slow it’s because the game designers want you to get immersed in the world.

When FF XV made things slow, it was so you could pan your camera around a lifeless world. Remember that when this game first came out, you couldn’t even exit your car unless it was at a spot that had guard rails.

Why the eff do you need guard rails everywhere? Why did you give us a car that we can’t control unless we put the off road tires? Why bother giving us the ability to fly at the END of the game?

Why should I care about Lunafreya? What’s Ardyn’s problem? Why did we fast forward several years?

Why were the dungeons so freaking lackluster? Ah yes, cave tile set 1,000,023. Sewer tile set, 2,348. Even going back to your hometown was boring. Generic urban tile set 4,808.

The coolest level? Going to the water fall city where you can do nothing except run around and eat at fancy restaurants. Wait, did you want to go back to the main overworld map and explore? You have to time travel to the past through your memories. What?

Oh cool I get to summon awesome monsters but it’s completely random when they show up because they are too powerful. That’s fun, having Ramuh want to show up when I’m fighting a bunch of low level dogs. Where were you when I wanted to fight the Ronin dude?

Why oh why did the game feel it necessary to add a slow fade in at the title screen and a slow fade when selecting different menu options. Seriously game, I’ve got shit to do and you want to waste my time with a slow fade up and fade down?

Final Fantasy XV focused on all the wrong things. Why do we have gorgeous renditions of food? Why am I fishing? Prompto, no we’re not f-ing getting out to take a photo.

So many things about this game were just goddamn annoying. All of the locations in FF XV were forgettable for me. I can remember Midgar from FF7, Costa Del Sol, Nifelheim, Wutai, Cosmo Canyon. FF XV had NONE OF THAT. And even though FF7's story is incoherent, it at least had a continuous plot and characters you cared about.

All Tabata did was get FF XV out the door. He managed to get a sinking ship to port but the ship still sank after everyone got off. I really hope Square Enix gets a freaking clue and stops putting Nomura as the lead for their games. The dude who brought back Final Fantasy Realm Reborn is a hero, they need more game designers like him.

