St Paul’s chancellor resigns after committing act of tolerance

The chancellor of St Paul’s Cathedral is to step down from his post after acting in a way that is supposed to be synonymous with the Christian faith.

Reports suggest that Canon Dr Giles Fraser, who has been sympathetic to the protest camp outside the London landmark, considers his position untenable after mistakenly practising what he preaches.

Dr Fraser, who angered other members of the clergy when he refused to sanction the use of force to remove the protesters, could also face separate allegations of forgiving people.

The Dean of St Paul’s, the Right Reverend Graeme Knowles, said he was optimistic about reopening the cathedral as soon as any signs of clergy displaying the defining characteristics of Christianity were stopped.

“Love, tolerance and forgiveness are all well and good in theory, but they don’t pay the bills,” he insisted.

“We are currently losing £20,000 a day in donations as a result of these protesters.”

“The Church of England’s investments portfolio is currently worth only about £5.3bn, so as you can see, every penny counts.”

St Paul’s chancellor resigns

Speaking of the protesters, who have occupied the area around St Paul’s for the last 12 days, Reverend Knowles issued further criticism.

“I mean look at them,” he blasted.

“Long hair, beards, sandals, acting all preachy.”

“Who’s going to take any notice of anything they say?”