When there’s a cake on the table, you know something good is happening. Perhaps it’s someone’s birthday. Or maybe your friends just got married. A cake is always a welcome sight, right? Um, well — not always. The cakes listed below are some of the scariest cakes we’ve ever seen. Seriously. You’ve been warned, so don’t blame us for the nightmares.

Listen, it’s plain and simple: some people should not decorate cakes. Don’t get us wrong — we’re all about giving new things a go. Who knows? You may just be the next Ace of Cakes/Cake Boss/Great British Baker. But if you haven’t had enough practice, or refuse to use spellcheck, then maybe you shouldn’t apply for that cake decorator job at your local bakery.

Again — we’re not trying to squash dreams. We’re simply trying to help you avoid being embarrassed on the internet.

But then again, if it weren’t for the subpar cake decorators of the world, we wouldn’t have this gleaming list of horrendous cakes to chuckle at. We’re laughing with you. Not at you. We promise.

Take a look at these sad, scary, and stupendous cakes, and pray to the confectionary gods that you won’t end up having to post a #badcake pic on your next birthday.

1. The “Spell Check Wasn’t Working” Cake

Eh, close enough. They’ll get the point.

2. The “So Close, Yet So Far” Cake

Go long, champ. Keep going. No — keep on going!

3. The “We’re Getting Married In L.A. Summer 2019” Cake

We wanted to do something for all of our thirsty friends. Yeah, we said it.

4. The Turd Emoji Cake

We can only assume that underneath that fondant is chocolate cake, right? At least, we hope it’s chocolate…

5. “D r ew!”

When you think you have enough space… and then… you really don’t. Sad.

6. The “It’s The Thought That Counts” Cake

Happy vaenplanG, hun! We really hope the landlord didn’t pay for this.

7. The “Can We Please Stop Celebrating?” Cake

We’re really over the whole “gift-giving, celebrating, fun” season. Let’s just end it, ‘kay?

8. The “Sincere Apology” Cake

Honestly, thank you. Apology accepted — now leave me alone to angrily eat this cake.

9. The “Your Dream Man Has Arrived” Cake

The caption of this cake pic should be, “Darling I’m a nightmare dressed like a daydream.”

10. The “Just Finishing Up The Details” Cake

If anyone said, “These look just like you guys,” we really hope you removed them from your friend circle, stat. Unless… unless these figurines do look like you…

11. The “Welcome Home” Cake

The smiley face really makes this cake next-level. So does the “chicken flavor.”

12. Thank you…?

This may look like a joke, but the coworker actually had this happen to them. So… yeah…

13. “Grandma’s Revenge” Cake

“Wiping another year away. Happy 11th Birthday Max.” Grandma has gaul. We like Grandma.

14. The “Catfish” Cake

Oh, um. You don’t really look like your pictures online.

15. The “You’re Dead To Us” Cake

If you show your face at this office again, you’re done. You hear me, Carl?

16. The “Root Of My Paranoia” Cake

His son will be afraid of cakes from this day forward. We hope this dad is happy.

17. The “Stool Sample” Cake

No, I don’t need a slice. I ate, and pooped, earlier. Thanks, though.

18. The “Confidence Boost Cake

Thanks, guys. It means a lot.

19. The “Whose Man Is This?” Cake

S-S-S-S-Santa? You don’t look too good.

20. The “Listen, Buddy, That’s What You Said” Cake

It’s nice to know that the cake decorator was listening very intently to this customer. Very intently.

21. The “Outsider” Cake

We honestly hope this lasagna cake haunts our dreams. We think this kid might be a genius.

22. The “Honesty Is The Best Policy” Cake

Yeah. Yeah you did, sweetheart.

23. Aww!

Now *this* is what true love looks like. #Goals.

24. The “Repeat Offender” Cakes

W’er’e excited that yo’ure having a baby. Congration.

25. Thank you…?!

Perhaps the person receiving this cake is a lizard alien person preparing to shed their human skin to reveal their true identity to the loved ones they’ve made here on Earth. Yeah, that must be it.

26. The “We Actually Have To Leave” Cake

Oh wow — can’t believe the time. We’re going to have to tap out.

27. The “American Horror Story: Cult” Cake

Cupcake? Oh, I thought you said cult cake. My bad.

28. The “His And Hers” Cake

We feel like this couple could have reached a better compromise. But hey — as long as they’re happy, right?

29. The “Trying To Reuse That Cake Pan From The Bachelorette Party” Cake

You can’t tell what it is. NO. You CAN’T.

30. The “Chew And Run” Cake

Yeah, no — everyone really hated the cake. They thought it was very bad and gross-tasting. Sorry.

31. THANK YOU…?!?

These people mean well, don’t they? We really wish we knew.

32. The “Easter Is Ruined” Cake

We’re sorry but Jesus did not die on the cross for this. Put that poor thing out of its misery.

33. The “I Am Serious, And Don’t Call Me Shirley” Cakes

That is really tragic. A true hit and miss.

34. The “Once You See It, You Can’t Unsee It” Cake

It’s a turkey. It’s a turkey — we swear.

35. The “These Are Definitely Balloons” Cake

Nope. We just see balloons, dear.

36. The “Wait, Is She Still Here?” Cake

Did she leave already? Is she still here? Do we still miss her?

37. The “Aye Aye, Captain” Cake

You nailed it! Here is one promotion.

38. The “Dolly’s Really Let Herself Go” Cake

Workin’ 9 to 5 really did a number on poor old Dolly.

39. The “Elsa, But In The Style Of As Told By Ginger” Cake

We really can’t let this one go. We tried and we just can’t.

Good luck trying to get to sleep tonight. Scary cake Elsa and scary cake Santa will always be lurking in that one dark corner of your mind.