Things have been really exciting on the Padres baseball front as we saw them seize the #1 overall draft pick position this week. That is a great success if I’ve ever seen one. Meanwhile, in the opposite of a great success, notable safety school alum and Delaware resident David Marver yet again contributed nothing to the blog. On that note, let’s get to the hot, new feature that’s sweeping the internets by storm.

Days Since Marver Has Actually Written Something: 74 days

At this point, maybe it’s a blessing for us readers that Marver hasn’t written anything for 74 days.

Gwynntelligence Posts:

It was a banner week for Gwynntelligence posts with the lengthily researched three part series explaining the absolutely mandatory requirement that the Padres sign Luis Robert. To sum it up: scouts love him, the Padres are flush with cash with nothing to spend it on other than blow for Uncle Ron, and the Padres owe it to fans to execute the painful rebuild plan with everything they’ve got. Half-assing the rebuild at this point is a slap in the face to fans that are expected to pay the Padres’ inflated ticket prices and ignore their terrible marketing, and not signing Luis Robert because their spending is supposedly tapped out is, quite seriously, half-assing the rebuild. The big day for his signing is May 20. We’ll see if the Padres fulfill their promise to fans, or if they pocket the money to fuel a cocaine fueled weekend at Casa de Fowler.

The Padres Must Sign Luis Robert – Part 1 – He’s Good

The Padres Must Sign Luis Robert – Part 2 – Financials Behind the Imperative

The Padres Must Sign Luis Robert – Part 3 – Strategically Mandatory

Padres Blogosphere Posts:

Gaslamp Ball: Time to Deal Cahill?

There’s been a lot of Padres blogosphere posts about just how great Trevor Cahill has been for the Padres this season. And he has! Sac Bunt Dustin has nearly made a career out of writing Hangover posts about how great Cahill has been. This GLB Fan Post dug into whether it was time to trade him while his value is high. I keep hearing people drop comparisons to Drew Pomeranz, as in Cahill will fetch a crazy good return like Pom Pom did. This is ridiculous and totally ignores that a lot of Pom Pom’s value was that he had many years of control left (didn’t hurt that he was a lefty also). Cahill is on a one year contract. He has value, but let’s temper our expectations a little. And then, as is the case for Padres fans, things took a turn for the poop, and Cahill hit the DL with a “shoulder strain”, which if you plug it into the Padres Injury Translator 2000 (TM), is actually a “terminal case of Super AIDS”.

Padres Public: The Luis Robert Update

Sac Bunt Dustin should be recognized not only for his excellent work writing 17 Hangover pieces a week but more so for calling out my three part Luis Robert series. For the record, we are both on the same page that it’s not just a fun little bonus if the Padres sign him, it’s mandatory, and failing to sign him represents an attitude that they’re not doing everything possible to facilitate a successful rebuild.

Padres Public: Leave the Dong, Take the Cannoli

I wanted to recognize that this is Vocal Minority’s Nathan Veale’s first blog post in over four years. This is where Marver is headed. It was also a great post. Nathan wrote about how Andy Green totally dissed Allen Cordoba’s potential as a shortstop, and instead is forcing him into a utility role. To this, I think the natural question is if he is really that bad at shortstop. Is he? Because I don’t know if you’ve heard this, but the Padres totally suck at shortstop. The story to justify carrying the Rule 5 guys going back to last season with Perdomo was that having Major League coaching would help their development, which is totally opposite of all all the empirical evidence. But if you believe that, shouldn’t the Major League coaches be doing their best to make Cordoba an adequate shortstop?

Fangraphs: Hunter Renfroe on Producing On Both Sides Of The Coin

Fangraphs published a nice interview with Hunter Renfroe that got into his approach to hitting. After reading Wil Myers do a similar interview and basically just say “durrr I see the ball and then I hit it hard”, it was interesting to see Renfroe talk a little more mechanics. The other clear highlight is finding out that Renfroe’s nickname is Corky. Corky, as in Corky from Life Goes On.

The Kept Faith: Calm Down About Fowler Already

Kept Faith’s Padres Haiku rebutted the hysterics on Padres Twitter regarding Uncle Ron going on the radio and talking about Jered Weaver. I generally agree with Haiku that Fowler wasn’t nearly as terrible as when he crushed Shields last season, but it’s hard to say that having an owner that will call out players by name on the radio isn’t viewed negatively in the clubhouse or externally.

The Golden Age of Padres Podcasts:

It was not a golden age type of week as NO podcasts were published, no thanks to Marver who wasn’t able to record. But let’s briefly talk about podcasts. I’m not sure what motivates each of the Padres podcasts to do what they do. It’s a lot of work, it doesn’t pay, and when you’re talking about the Padres, your potential audience is about the size of a public school 3rd grade class. Maybe they see it as a portfolio builder to parlay into a paying job, maybe it’s just a hobby. For me with the Gwynntelligence Podcast (and the blog), it’s a hobby that I actively don’t want to be paid for. If someone offered to sponsor it, I’d turn it down. I turned down Mike Dee trying to offer upgrades to the Lexus Club on multiple occasions, and I turn down the Padres Social events. I’m not in it for perks, it’s just something I like to do. But that doesn’t mean that what we do doesn’t have value. I believe it does, just like I believe all of the Padres podcasts have incredible value and insight. And when someone provides an opportunity to monetarily support their creation of EXCELLENT content, I think it’s a responsibility to support it. What am I getting at? Well, Make The Padres Great Again/Generally Speaking podcaster and noted Iron Fist Beer spokesman John Gennaro put up a Patreon, allowing listeners to support his efforts to provide tons of content every week. When you break down how many hours of content he produces, at the highest quality levels, what’s 5, 10 or 20 bucks a month? It’s a bargain really. And it’s the responsibility of all of us to reward and support great content. If someone else in the Golden Age of Padres Podcasts decides to the same, I feel the exact same way. Support independent voices because if you don’t, we’re all just stuck with Sileo. Don’t be a taker.

** Late addition! **

East Village Times Podcast

EVT got a podcast out this week right after I scheduled the post. I listened this morning and thought they had a really interesting brief discussion on Brad Hand’s possible overuse, as he’s on pace to exceed 100 innings. This is also interesting in regards to increasing the chances of an injury or performance regression that would hurt his currently high trade value.

Tweet of the Week:

And the Jaggy goes to:

Maybe they should have Snapchatted their intentions. https://t.co/Sl0IgwZJdv — Ben Higgins (@BenHigginsSD) May 16, 2017

Terrible Marver Tweet Of The Week:

@DSmithShow How it ends could vault it to that convo, but all-time best is lofty. A lot of the old classics – ex: MASH – were more versatile, deep. — Change the Padres (@ChangeThePadres) May 16, 2017

M*A*S*H was trash. Marver channeling noted bloated bloviator Peter King with his diction here.