Caring For your Human-Pup

INDEX

© The content of this guide was written by Nate R., aka azure_chaos except for where credit has been attributed. I did research the subject on the Internet including forums and websites but the writing with in is all my own work; therefore any similarity to the work of others is purely co-incidental.

1.THE MINDSET - PUPSPACE

1.1 The Human-Pup

There are different kinds of human-pup, and the kind you are looking to have can have an effect on how you look after them. Some pups are happy to have the mindset of a pup, eager to please, affectionate, companionable, etc while still walking on two legs, talking and doing human-type things such as work. There is nothing wrong with that, however you and your pup approach your play is right for you both and that is what counts. However, this guide is concerned with a different kind, the kind of human-pups who want to embrace the whole puppy-mindset: on all fours; no human speech; no human action; to only act, communicate, and be as a pup.

Pups can be male, female or even transgender. Although it does appear that this type of play be related more to gay males as pup and owner, it is not their exclusive domain and there is no reason why pup and/or owner can’t be a straight or female. Diversity is what makes the world goes around and that is why this guide tries to remain gender free. Although, it is worth remembering that, your pups may act slightly differently depending on their gender.

You may be wondering what your pup or potential pup gets out of this kind of play. Well, it can be different things to different pups. Research seems to indicate a general consensus that it is a very mentally freeing position to be in. The mind is taken back to basic levels, you don’t need to give deep thought to anything and you have no responsibility except to please your owner(s). The pup eats, drinks, sleeps, plays, sniffs and relieves themself, and then starts all over again. There is no bigger picture for a pup, and the world that exists to them is limited to their environment. It’s relaxing!

Not all pups go so deep into pupspace that they loose all human thought/sense but some can and do go so deep that they will act only on pup instinct. There are times, especially in public, that you have to be careful what commands you give to your pup. In this deep mindset your pup won’t understand humour or a joke, if you tell your pup to “get him” the chances are…your pup will! So, watch what you say in jest because your pup may take you all too seriously.

What does your pup want from you and from their pupspace? Different pups want different things when they are in pupspace. Most just want the freedom to be able to be down on all fours and to know that you won’t think less of them for it. For some it is part of their service to you, as their Dominant. Generally speaking though, pups simply want to be fed like a pup, fussed over like a pup and played with like one, quite often an owner doesn’t need to do much more than pet them and set their food/drink out. Sometimes they’ll make their own mischief around the house and then come and happily curl up at their owner’s feet.

Sexually orientated play can be one of the things that differ greatly between pups. And it is very important that you and your pup are on the same page from the very beginning with this matter. Some want sexual contact, others don’t want any at all, some are happy to sniff Master’s crotch but want little beyond that, some only want sexual contact with other human-pups. This can manifest in simple ‘humping’ or in actual mounting of other pups (especially if your pup is more dominant) if your pup has a need to breed. Again, it can’t be reiterated enough; this is something that you need to discuss before you play. This guide is not going to deal with the sexual side of some people’s pup play.

1.2 Pup Vs Dog

This guide continually refers to pups, but in reality, there are those who consider themselves to be human-dogs. What’s the difference? Well, mostly it’s just in the way the individual feels. A general feeling exists that pups are more playful and mischievous, but that said, there are dogs who never lose those traits, while they are more mature and settled. What pup vs dog *isn’t* determined by is the human age of your pup/dog: a human-pup can be in their 40s, 50s and so on and still be a pup, while a human-dog can be in their 20s. It’s much more about mindset and self-image than a numerical value. Dogs seem more likely to worry about dominance, protecting/looking after the pack and territory than pups are.

1.3 Breeds

Most pups have a breed in their mind of what they are when they’re in pup-mode. Sometimes it will fit their physical image (for colouring etc) other times it will be purely based on personality. With so many breeds of real dog out there, it can be quite an insight into your human-pup to know which breed they see themselves as compared to what you, as their owner, see them as. It can be a good task to set them when in human mode to identify their breed and write a short piece about them.

1.4 Your Pup’s Name

Your pup might already have a name when he or she comes to you, but then again they might not. If your pup is new to puppy play, or even if they are not, then they may look to you to help them come up with a name. Some strays prefer to wait until they meet someone they want as an owner and let them choose their name. This is both an honour for you and a sign they both trust and respect your input, it also usually shows they expect to be with you for the long haul.

A pup’s name can usually give a little insight into their personality either as a pup, human or even both. It should be given some thought, a good resource to use is a guide to dog’s names like this one (others do exist out there, so if you don’t find what you’re looking for there then do a google search), in order to help you come up with something, but don’t be afraid to be creative and original.

Some pups dream and fantasise about being able to be in pupmode 24/7 and there are owners who equally dream about being able to keep them there. Indeed, in an ideal world you could wave a magic wand or drink a potion and be a real pup. But this is real life and unfortunately, it doesn’t work like that.

While it would be nice to spend as much time as possible on all fours, it’s not actually practical to spend 24/7 in such a role; physically and psychologically. The human body wasn’t built to be in that position for long periods and so it can take a real toll on joints, muscles and the spine, even when protection (e.g. kneepads etc) is worn. Also, because we aren’t adapted to being in that position, the body is unable to move fast enough to get enough exercise, calories can’t be burned off as needed and so weight gain is likely (unless you’re lucky enough to be able to take your pup on 5 mile hikes through secluded forest). While some owners like chubby or flabby pups, others do not.

One issue that could also arise is communication, if the human-pup was unwell. If there’s something wrong, your pup needs to be able to tell you about it (the same applies for mental health as it does for physical). If your pup does become sick, as does happen, then they need to go to the doctor and not the vet (although it’s fun to jest about taking your pup to the vet), so it is essential that they are able to function as a human in human society.

People love their pets, it’s true, but a human-pup can be expensive to keep and if you were to do that 24/7, you would need to be very strong financially. But aside from that, your pup has a human side that is part of what attracted you to them in the first place, if they were to become a pup 24/7 you would become their world and they would lose the very things that attracted you to them in the first place. They might be a pup in spirit; but they are also humans, and humans have to have psychological and social needs met, interacting with friends, family, work, hobbies, etc.

So, yes, 24/7 is a fantasy and it really should remain in fantasy. A human needs to spend time on their feet each day, getting some exercise and communicating normally to remain a healthy human. You can’t have a healthy pup if you first don’t have a healthy human.

1.6 Switching From Human To Puppy & Vice Versa

It is useful, before play, to agree a way to switch from or into pupspace. This can be using a verbal command, a designated word, or action. A common technique that seems to be used is the use of names as a distinction. When called by their real name it signals that the pup is to come back to their human self, when their owner calls them by their pup name it sends them down into pupspace, onto all fours. This can work well, as it has a clear distinction between the person as a human and as a pup. Whereas using a designated word can be complicated and confusing, you first have to find a word that you wouldn’t ordinarily use in daily life, and that saying it in front of other people won’t get you looked at in a funny way. Using names can be useful if you get a sudden unexpected visitor.

“Put the kettle on, Rob.” Called from the front door, is a clear sign that you have a visitor and that pup needs to come back to human and get clothes on.

Another trigger could be something physical, that when clothes are off you’re pup and when they’re on your human. This brings its own complications of course, for example when taking a bath/shower or just general non-pup play. Variations of this include: when the tail goes in; when the collar goes on; when the hood goes on, etc.

As well as the owner needing a command to trigger the pup, the pup should also have their own way of communicating to their owner that they need to come out of pupspace (some may need help). This is where it’s necessary for the pup to have a pre-agreed action, to avoid guesswork. It could be that they bring their owner something, E.G. a sock, or they sit in a certain way/place. It’s the equivalent of a pup’s safeword and is something that you and your pup will need to decide before you play.

1.7 Communication, Commands and Training

Some breeds are more intelligent and obedient than others; there are also dominant and submissive human-pups. It’s likely that your new pup will already have their own personality and you will have to learn this and how best to interact with them. The training can depend a lot on the personality of your particular pup, but in general, as with real dogs, human-pups learn by association. They might not always understand what you’re asking them to do just as you will not always be able to tell what they want. You both have to learn the other person’s ‘language’ and get to know each other.

Don’t assume that someone has already trained your pup in the way you want him or her to behave; start at the beginning. Actions will be associated with commands, just as objects will be associated with actions/events. If every time you take your pup for a walk you fasten a leash to his or her collar, then the pup will learn that when you reach for the leash it’s time to go for a walk.

If when you tell your pup to sit and you point to the floor, they look at you like they don’t know what you want, repeat the command and push down on their rear to put them in the sit position. They will learn what “sit” and the point means so eventually you may only need to point to get them to sit. Some dogs may take longer to learn the command you want them to respond to, be patient, use rewards and treats as incentive and they will eventually learn. Being able to respond to an action independently of the verbal command can be especially useful in noisy environments.

You may wish to use ‘non-standard’ language, (e.g. rather than “sit” you might want to use “rest”) related word, unrelated word or even the command in a foreign language. This can form an individual bond between you and your pup, they learn to relate to you differently to previous owners and also it can stretch their mind: as they can’t fall back on their human understanding of the language and must learn to understand you. This can be both fun and challenging for owner and pup alike.

Be consistent, say what you mean and mean what you say. If you are teaching the pup to respond to sit, don’t use a different word and expect them to respond how you want. All that you will succeed in doing is confusing them. The same applies if there is more than one person in your household; make sure that everyone uses the same commands.

Make sure you know what response you want for each command before you start because if you don’t know, then how can you expect your pup to?

Do NOT use electric shock collars on your human-pups neck, human physiology is different from a dogs and electricity applied to a human neck is not safe. If you want to use this form of training then you could try using the collar around their thigh. Although, to be honest this kind of training is usually inconsistent depending on your pup’s personality and has to be administered just right to be effective. It is no substitute for getting to know your pup and training them verbally, hands on and with patience.

Training can be fun and light-hearted or it can be more in-depth, serious and time consuming. It all depends what you want/expect from your pup as well as the kind of pup you own.

The flipside of training them to understand them is that you must also learn your pup’s body language and reactions. They can’t (or shouldn’t) suddenly come out and verbally tell you if they want/need something when they are in puppy headspace. Some pups of course have trouble shedding their human characteristics, such as speech. If you and your pup both want them to be as a pup then they must shed human speech during play too.

If your pup is pawing at the ground, you could well stand and scratch your head wondering what they want. You can ask them, but don’t expect them to answer you. Phrase your question so that they can show you, but without ‘telling’ you. “What do you want, pup? Do you want the garden? Do you want food?” Give enough time between each and watch their physical reaction; an enthusiastic tail wag will likely give you an affirmative answer, while simply looking at you, whining or continuing to paw the ground will tell you to try again. You could also try, “Show me?” If they take you to the back door, they want the garden, if they take you to the fridge/kitchen they want food…so on. [This subject is also looked at further in 3.5 Puppy Language]

1.8 Rewards and Punishment

This will vary depending on the kind of pup you’re dealing with.

Treats work well as rewards, but really most pups will respond equally well to being petted, fussed and praised verbally. Reward can be all in the pleased tone of voice that you use with the pup. If you want to give a treat this will also depend on your pup’s health: diabetes; lactose intolerance; allergies; and, high cholesterol etc, can all affect the kind of treat that is appropriate for your pup. This is where it is important to talk things through thoroughly on a human level with your pup before they go into pup mindset. Some suggested treats are: chocolate buttons, smarties, and chocolate-covered animal cookies. As it says above, you will need to find out from your pup what is and isn’t appropriate to use as a treat.

Punishment is a difficult subject when it comes to pups. Generally, your pup will be eager to please, and knowing that they’ve disappointed their owner will usually be enough to punish them. Verbal chastisement can work well, as can alone time. You should avoid physical punishment with your pup unless other methods fail, and then at the very most a rolled up newspaper once on the rear should be the limit. This alone can cause a yelp and your pup to cower in guilt.

Even if you have a BDSM relationship with your pup when they are in human mode, you should not punish them using S&M techniques when they are in pupspace; this can cause damage to their headspace, trust and even emotionally. Again, it’s useful to agree limits before playing. Some forms of punishment may not be appropriate for your pup, and just as you have to tailor the treats you give, you may also have to individualise the punishments. For example, if your pup has a phobia of isolation and/or abandonment, the alone time would be a cruel and damaging punishment. If an owner has previously struck your pup on a level that is abusive, then a smack with a newspaper may be all it takes to send your beloved pup into a panic. This panic might manifest in cowering and shaking, hyperventilation, running away from you or even attacking you.

As previously said in another section, do NOT use electric shock collars on your human-pups neck, human physiology is different from a dog’s and electricity applied to a human neck is not safe. If you want to use this form of training or punishment then you could try using the collar around their thigh.

The key, as always, is to get to know your pup and human equally before starting to play.

2. Biological Needs

2.1 Feeding Your Pup

Under no circumstances should you feed your human-pup real dog food, it is not fit for human consumption. They need human food and if it’s the only way they eat then they need a good healthy and balanced diet. You can easily make their human food ‘look’ like dog food, but remember to cover all food groups. If your pup has human eating habits, but you’re looking for something as part of your play to help with the illusion, a couple of suggestions is to use a dry cereal such as Cheerios or something sloppy like canned stew also putting almost anything through the blender can leave it looking like dog food. Be sure to let your pup have access to plenty of water, it can be thirsty work running round.

Feeding and watering your pup from a bowl on the floor can be an important part of their mindset. It bears commenting that there needs to be separate bowls for the two. At first glance, you might think any old dog bowl will do, either that or you’ll find yourself standing in the pet aisle or store and staring at the bowls with a very confused look on your face.

So, how do you know what’s the right bowl for your pup? Both bowls need to be big enough for your pup to fit their head in. You can measure from their chin to the top of their head and add a couple of inches or if they have a high threshold for embarrassment take them to the store and see which they can fit their head in comfortably. Remember they have to be able to open and close their mouth as well. While a drinking bowl can be deep, a food bowl needs to be shallow enough that they can get to the food at the very bottom of the bowl; for this reason it’s recommended that the sides be no deeper than the distance between chin and neck added to the distance the bottom of the nose protrudes. However, it’s worth keeping in mind that your pup may find it easier to eat from a plate on the floor.

Whether you prefer plastic, stainless steel or a pot bowl is entirely a personal preference between you and your pup, but remember that plastic bowls are chewable.

2.2 Your Pup’s Toilet Needs

Your pup needs to go to the toilet – Fact! How you do this though is very much dependent on the two of you. There are a few options available to you on how you approach this.

* Litter Tray

* Newspaper

* Absorbent training floor pads (training pads example)/ Pampers Change Mats

* In the shower base – only for peeing

* Garden – this is only practical if you have a very secluded garden, but very authentic and great for the mindset if you’re able to do it

* Toilet – may involve coming out of pupspace or the owner backing the pup over the toilet while still on all fours – not very practical at all.

Of course, if a pup is deep in pup headspace they don’t really care where they go, you might need to train your pup to use your preferred method. Your pup needing to urinate and needing to defecate can be two very different things and you may wish to have different strategies for each: while you might not mind your pup peeing on paper, litter tray or absorbent mat, you may well not want to have to deal with them pooping. If your pup stays in pupspace to defecate then you will have to clean them up (baby wipes and latex gloves are essential here).

If the idea totally squicks either/both pup and owner(s), then you could have an arrangement, whereby the pup comes out of headspace to use the bathroom.

2.3 Health

Your pup’s health is very important, especially if they have an existing condition that requires care. All kinds of problems can arise from being on all fours for too long, joint problems, circulation problems, back pain, muscle cramping and so on. If your pup stays in pupspace for more than 8 hours at a time you need to have a way for them to communicate with you if they are unwell.

As well as the knees suffering from constant use, the wrists can also suffer, strapping them up can provide much needed reinforcement if your pup has a weakness in them or perhaps doesn’t have much muscle mass. Make sure that your pup gets to rest them frequently by lying down.

Remember that your human-pup doesn’t have fur like their canine counterparts, and being thinner skinned they’ll feel the cold more readily, especially if you keep them naked. It’s important then to make sure their environment is warm enough that they won’t catch a chill. If you find yourself needing to put on a sweater you should probably up the heating for your naked pup.

It’s important that your pup gets proper nutrition and exercise as a human in order to stay healthy. If they’re in Pupmode for more than a few hours, puppy stretches are a good way to alleviate most aches and pains that can arise on a temp basis. But, if they are in pupmode for a longer period then some time out each day is needed in human mode.

Your pup has human teeth, which are not as sturdy and resilient as canine teeth, so care is needed when playing games like tug-of-war with a toy etc.

Your pup is human, they really shouldn't have a cold wet nose; if they do then they may be sick (or they’ve been sticking their head in the fridge/freezer).

Again, it cannot be reiterated enough, you should NOT use shock collars on your human-pup. They are designed for use on real dogs and a human’s physiology is very different from a real dog. If you want to use electric shock as part of your pup’s training then you could consider placing the collar around their thigh, but under NO circumstances should an electric shock be applied to a human neck. Electricity should stay below the waist for safety sake unless you know exactly what you’re doing. The health risks include cardiac arrest and seizure. If you’re going to use one of these collars on your pup’s thigh then first test it on your own.

2.4 Grooming

Your pup’s hygiene can be an important issue, especially if your pup is in the headspace for longer than 24 hours at a time. You will need to bath them daily and clean their teeth twice daily. Instead of this, it might be an idea that they come out of the zone in order to shower and take care of their personal hygiene, it would be a way of them exercising their muscles and then having a short while to converse and maybe reflect on the past day with you.

Of course, it could be that you enjoy the idea of washing your pup and getting all wet and wild in the tub as they spray you by shaking all the water off. It could provide lots of fun and amusement. Some pups love to be bathed and others not so much so.

Pup’s usually like to be petted and have their fur (hair) stroked, you could use fingers, a comb or a brush depending on how long their fur is. They also like to have behind their ears, under their chins or the back of their necks lightly scratched.

2.5 Sleeping

Being a pup is a hard work, all that chasing your tail and butterflies, not to mention sniffing and chewing. Lots of naps are in your pup’s future: at your feet, on the rug in front of the fire on your bed, on the sofa… your pup will more than likely flop down and snooze anywhere they please. If your pup will be spending much of their time sleeping on the floor then it’s a good idea to get them one of them large pillows, a duvet (thick quilt) or a beanbag for comfort – or you might just find them jumping onto the bed with you (of course they might do that anyway).

3. GENERAL

3.1.1 Kneepads:

At the very least you will need a good pair of kneepads for your pup. These are easily found in DIY/Home Improvement stores. Don’t be afraid to try them to see which will be best for your pup, also you need to make your selection based on what kind of surface the pup will be on. Hard shelled can be the best for hard surfaces such as concrete, but they can slip on some surfaces like tiles or polished wood. The non-shelled kind are fine if your pup is only going to be on carpet or around the house and you can get some great gel cushioned ones now, which can be comfortable and better for your knees. Don’t think that because your pup is only going to be on a carpet and only for a couple of hours at a time, that they’ll be fine… humans really aren’t meant to be on their knees for that long and it will take its toll!

3.1.2 Muzzles/Mouth Bits:

If your pup is prone to forgetting themselves and talking, you may want to consider a mouth bit to help remind them that no talking is allowed while in pupspace. A muzzle can help reinforce pup’s headspace or can be used if you’re trying to train your pup out of bad habits like chewing/biting. Although, keep in mind that using them too long could actually impede the fun of the play. They would limit the ability to make communicative noises, eating, drinking, licking and other things such as carrying things in their mouth. They can be a good aid to training though and some pups like them while others hate them.

3.1.3 Hoods:

Many variations of hood exist, from plain leather bondage hoods, to elaborate full dog style heads. Some pups love these and find that they can really help with their headspace; and they can be useful if you want to keep your pup’s identity secret while out at a club or event. Other pups either don’t need them or can’t stand them. They can be big and bulky, hot and sweaty.

Research has revealed a couple of advantages to them: they can be very much a part of your pup’s self-identity; and apparently the small nostrils allow sniffing to bring smells in and the space seems to amplify the scent; they can make noise more prone to directional dampening (sounds are clear to the front but somewhat muffled to the side) some pup’s like to be able to have the sound of bipeds cut to background noise (can be a disadvantage for the owner), of course these can all vary depending on the design purchased.

There are also disadvantages to the hoods: Some owners like to see their cute pups face, it’s a very useful way of knowing how your pup is feeling, pup’s faces are very expressive; You can’t stroke their hair while they’re wearing one; they can get hot and sticky; unless you can get a perfect fit for your pup’s head they can be uncomfortable, and they can impede the pup’s ability to do the things that pups like to do, drink, eat, chew, carry stuff around.

They can be very expensive, so if you are going to go for a hood, make sure that you get one that fits properly and will allow your pup to have as much facial movement as possible.

3.1.4 Full rubber/PVC suits:

This is another of those issues that is a personal preference to you and your pup. Some love them, some hate them, some don’t really care either way. They can get hot and sweaty, but if you’re in a cold environment where naked or putting on the heating (in public, at an event or out in the woods) isn’t possible or if your pup is shy about their body, then this can be a good idea. They can be expensive and getting a good fitting one is essential, depending on how long your pup is going to spend wearing it you might even need to consider getting two. These suits seem to have a place but for general round the house most appear to prefer skin for the ability to have physical contact with their owners. There’s not much fun in being petted when there’s a layer of rubber/PVC/latex between your owner’s skin and yours. And of course there are also the impracticalities when it comes to the pup doing their business.

3.1.5 “Paws” and mitts:

These are a great way of giving your pup a more canine feeling/image. They can be especially useful if your pup tends to forget and use their human hands. Mitts can really add to the illusion of paws both physically and psychologically, as your pup becomes truly dependent on you. As with the other equipment, love them, hate them, couldn’t care less either way about them, it’s a personal choice for you and your pup. If you do get them for your pup, make sure they have enough room to flex their hands inside them, this can prevent hand and forearm cramp not to mention positional nerve, tendon or joint damage.

Depending on the way your pup uses their hands to walk on, you may need to consider extra padding. This is especially true if your pup walks on their knuckles (hands in fists and walking on the flat part that you would punch someone with). If your pup uses their palms or the underside of the fist (where the fingertips are folded in) you should consider strapping their wrists. Your pup should take regular breaks from putting weight on their hands in this way, as they were not designed for this sort of action.

The back paws of a pup are especially vulnerable to catching on things or being stomped on by bipeds, and along with the knocks the knees take the shins can suffer too, shin-pads that are used by football/soccer players can help with the shins, while the pads used in some martial arts can be used to protect the tops of the feet. Large padded mitts or socks could have benefits in protecting the feet.

3.1.6 Tails:

You might not be able to see it, but your pup will have a tail, of course in some breeds it’s been docked, but they’re there none-the-less. Your pup will want to wag theirs. They might be content to wiggle their butt in an imitation of wagging a tail, or they may want an actual tail to wag. Most pups would love to have a tail.

There are a couple of ways you can give your pup a tail:

1. An insertable tail on a butt plug. You can buy these off the internet and from some sex shops, along with pony or even piggy tails. From what I’ve seen there are two types:

Rigid latex or silicone shaped like a perked up tail (that can be twisted round so that it’s pointing downwards to show when your pup is unhappy or apologetic)

Hair. Theoretically, you should be able to make your own using a plug and some false hair (from wigs or the like).

Depending on your pup’s breed, and what you both want aesthetically, these two options are fairly good even if they can be expensive. The hair tail has the advantage that it is swishy and can vary in length, where the rigid one can be turned to suit the mood (although in reality dogs rarely stop to turn the tail round).

The disadvantages of an insertable tail: it has to be taken out for the pup to do their business and if the pup is wearing mitts then this is down to the owner; prolonged wearing of a butt plug can cause intestinal discomfort/a build up of trapped wind/gas that can be painful for the pup; irritation of the anus; If your pup is male the tail will have to come out for breeding (should both be into that); also… sneezing while wearing one can run the risk of shooting it across the room. Advantages: the pup can feel it’s presence like it’s an actual extension of self; it can keep the pup open if pup and owner are into sexual play while in pupmode; it can be sexually stimulating to the pup (which can be a disadvantage if pup doesn’t like sex mixed in with their pup play).

2. A strap on tail. This speaks for itself; a harness or belt is worn with a tail attached to it so that it sits in the correct position. These could probably be made for cheaper than they could be bought, using wig hair, etc. The advantage is that it leaves the anus free for the pup doing their business or to be mounted; it’s more comfortable and can be worn indefinitely without the need for a break from it; and, it can be placed in a more realistic position. The disadvantages: the tail is not a part of the body and so the pup might not feel properly connected to it even if they can wag it; if the harness is not very secure then it could slip from position and you would have to keep repositioning it; and, the harness might cause chaffing. There is no direct sexual stimulation from this kind of tail, and that could be an advantage or a disadvantage, depending on whether you and your pup are into sexual activities in pupmode.

3.1.7 Ears:

If you’re getting a puppy hood, they usually come with ears attached, but you could get your pup ears without the need for a hood if you wanted. The best way to do this would be to make a pair of ears suited to your pup’s breed and attach them to a headband; this way they could be floppy or pointy or somewhere in between. This can be a fun thing to do if you’re craft minded; and even if your not, putting ears on your pup could give you a giggle and make them a happy pup.

3.1.8 Harnesses:

If you’re lucky enough to have somewhere that you can take your pup out for walks, then you might want to consider using a harness rather than a collar for attaching a leash to; as this way you eliminate the chance of accidentally choking your pup. There are many different leather chest harnesses, available from sex stores, leather stores or BDSM equipment stores, which could easily be used in this capacity. Many dog owners prefer to use harnesses on their pets so this would not have any negative impact on authenticity.

3.1.9 Bowls:

Food and drink bowls have already been covered in section 2.1 Feeding your pup, but it’s worth mentioning here that a fun thing to do is to write your pup’s name on the bowls in permanent marker pen.

3.1.10 Toys:

Chew toys, squeaky toys, toys for playing fetch, toys to hide and toys to carry round in the mouth; they’re all something that you need to consider buying for your pup or you could find that your favourite boot gets chewed up and/or hidden. Pups like their toys, you can use real pup toys for added authenticity, rubber bones and the like, and smallish stuffed toys are also a favourite for either being mauled or carried around in the mouth. Remember though, as with real dogs, things that easily break off can be a chocking hazard.

3.2 Collars

This subject deserved it’s own separate section from the equipment. Collars are important in more way than one to a pup. They’re not just about emulating their canine cousins, although that is a part of it and it does contribute to the headspace of a pup. Collars are about ownership, they’re a symbol to others that the pup belongs to someone and is off limits. They’re also a symbol to the pup that they have a home, they’re not a stray and that they are loved and cherished. It’s hard to put into words how much a collar means to a pup, especially if they have been a collarless stray.

You may choose to buy an actual dog collar, or you might prefer to buy a collar that has been purposely made for a human to wear; the latter option can be padded for comfort since the human-pup doesn’t have the fur and thick skin to protect against chaffing. Either way, you need to measure your pup’s neck to get the right length of collar. You don’t want a collar that is too tight but you also don’t want one that is too loose. For comfort and safety, you should be able to put the collar on your pup and fit two fingers between the collar and their skin.

The width of the collar is entirely up to you, but remember, the pup needs to have full range of movement in their neck, they need to be able to eat, drink, look up at you, cock their heads and chase butterflies. For these reasons a thinner collar will be more suitable.

A nice touch is to add tags to the collar with the pup’s name and your phone number on the back.

As an owner or potential owner, you should know that if you see a pup with a collar, this signifies that the pup is owned and you should not approach the pup without first gaining the permission of their owner. This can be as much for your own protection as the pups. As most pups are suspicious of strangers they may well snap at you. It is bad etiquette to approach an owned pup in such a way; if you speak to their owner they will most likely give permission, but always check first.

It’s been said before and it will be said again, you should NOT use shock collars on your human-pup’s neck. They are designed for use on real dogs and a human’s physiology is very different from a real dog. If you want to use electric shock as part of your pups training then you could consider placing the collar around their thigh, but under no circumstances should an electric shock be applied to a human neck.

3.3 Microchips

It’s the age of technology, people are chipping their real pups, the rich are getting chipped with their credit card info so they don’t have to carry plastic, and influential diplomats, etc, are getting ID chipped in case of kidnapping, etc.

There doesn’t appear to be any health reason why a human-pup shouldn’t be micro-chipped. And the benefits could be seen in the pup’s psychology. It would be a way of saying to the pup that “this is permanent, I’m not going anywhere and you’re mine now.” A big buzz when it comes to headspace and security.

In general the microchip is about the size of the tip of a ballpoint pen and syringe-injectable. Once injected, it’s activated using an external scanner. The chip can be used to simply carry ID information or can be made trackable using GPS. While it should be no more painful than a vaccination or piercing cost may be a factor for consideration.

3.4 Chewing & Sniffing

Both of these are normal puppy behaviour you should probably get used to them.

Dogs operate more off their sense of smell than any of their other senses and the same can be said for most human-pups. So, if your pup comes up to you and sniffs at your crotch, or sniffs the butt of other human-pups, this is perfectly normal behaviour, they’re acquainting themselves with your scent, categorising you as friend, family, enemy or even mate. It’s not about being rude or sexual, it’s about identification. Pups like smells and they’ll sniff just about anything. Unfortunately, human’s sense of smell isn’t as strong as a real dog, but it can improve with use and you still have a distinctive smell to your pup.

Some pups chew more than others, it depends on their breed, personality and training. If you don’t like it then it’s up to you, as their owner, to train them not to do it. Training can consist of rewards and punishment, praise and admonishment, or even the use of a bit/muzzle. The best way to stop your pup from chewing the things they aren’t supposed to, is to give them their own toys that they can chew on happily. Remember that your pup has human teeth and tug of war games should only be gentle as the teeth can easily be damaged.

If you don’t want something chewed by your pup it’s best to keep it up out of their reach.

3.5 Puppy Language

Where much of puppy language can be awarded a stereotypical meaning, it’s important to remember that context is also important in making your interpretation. This section refers quite heavily to a page from wikipedia on the subject of real dog communication it can be found here!

Vocalised – Barks, Growls, Whimpers & Whines:

Human-pups tend to make similar noises as their canine cousins, but of course the human voice box isn’t designed to make them, so a pup will make the closest approximation of a real dog. The hardest of the noises would probably be the growl but some have real problems with barking.

There are many reasons why a pup barks: happy, excited, scared, for attention, warning to you that there is something wrong or a warning to someone else/other pup to back off. Figuring out which is which can be very difficult and that’s why it’s important to look at body language as well. What first appears to be an aggressive bark could be a playful or excited bark if the pup is wagging their tail at the same time. The pup might also bark in reply to other pups and/or real dogs barking.

As with barking there are many motivations behind a growl, usually it is a threat or warning of some kind but can be from irritation, aggression or fear. There are also playful growls. If you’re unsure which your pup is exhibiting then proceed with caution; if they’re frightened or feeling threatened they may strike out at you if you exacerbate that. Although, what you’re doing at the time and the pup’s body language will likely indicate what kind of growl it is.

Unlike the others, a whimper is unlikely to be playful and it certainly isn’t an aggressive vocalisation. These sounds are associated with something upsetting your pup, either they’re hurt, lonely, sad or it’s a cry for attention. These are all also true of the whine, but this sound can be associated with excitement and the greeting of other pups, depending on the tone and body language.

Howling usually occurs in response to a loud sound or a feeling of loneliness/neglect/abandonment or pain.

Non-Vocalised – Eyes (eyebrows), Head, Tail & Body:

The speed and size of a tail wag can be an indication of what the pup is thinking/feeling. A large fast wag is likely a happy, enthusiastic, excited wag especially where the wag is so pronounced the hips move with it. Where as, a small slow wag is uncertain; this is maybe not a kind you will see so often in human-pups but if you do then it could mean that the pup isn’t sure what to make of a situation/person/pup or doesn’t quite understand something.

Much as with human facial expressions, a puppy’s eyes/eyebrows can indicate various things: raised eyebrows suggest interest, lowered brows suggest confusion or mild anger, and one eyebrow up suggests bewilderment. Slitted eyes translate usually as suspicion or anger.

Pawing the ground usually indicates that the pup wants something, where they do it and the context in which it’s done, can tell you more about what that is. By the door means they want to be let out, by the food or water bowl means they’re hungry/thirsty, etc.

Shifting from paw to paw (usually the front paws) can indicate excitement, especially coupled with a wagging tail, or it could mean that your pup is trying to tell you something or get your attention. These latter two can also be associated with the lifting of a paw.

A tilt of the head can be interest or it can be bewilderment, again it comes down to context and the combination it has with the rest of the body language.

Yawns can be an indication of boredom or the need for sleep but it could also mean they’re stressed or want to be left alone. It is therefore important to take into consideration all the factors and indicators.

The best thing you can do is take time to learn your pup’s body and vocalised language, it will make your time together more enjoyable.

3.6 Furry Vs Smooth

This is very much a personal choice between you and your pup. There is no right or wrong for whether your pup should be defurred (shaved/waxed/electrolysised), it’s purely up to you. Some say smooth is sexiest, for both parties, others say that the tickle of fur is sexier. It’s totally a personal preference.

If you are going to defur: Waxing lasts longer, but can be messy and painful in the first instance; Shaving is the easiest method of defurring but regrowth can happen in just a couple of days and so requires frequent maintenance to keep the pup smooth, although the act of shaving your pup can be quite an act of bonding and trust, if you choose to shave your pup be aware that they’ll scratch themselves a fair bit as it regrows and you’ll need to apply lotion to ease it; Electrolysis is permanent hair removal, it can be expensive and take a few sessions, but if you are sure that you want your pup smooth and will never want them to grow fur then this can save lots of time and effort on the regular defurring.

3.7 Social Interactions, Pack and Hierarchy

As has been said before, pup’s vary greatly in most areas, and this is yet another one. Some pups are very happy just being with you, padding round your home with their toys etc. Some pups though, need to be able to play with other pups. Some owners find that getting together with other pup owners occasionally, and letting their pups play together does wonders for their pup’s mood and attitude.

As mentioned in 3.2 Collars, a pup that is wearing a collar is usually owned, as stray pups do not where collars, and the pup’s owner should be approached before attempting to approach the pup. The pup may be aggressive with strangers or afraid of them, aside from that it is just good etiquette. This doesn’t apply with other pups of course, who will likely approach and sniff at each other (and yes that includes their butts).

Not all real dogs are submissive and the same applies to human-pups. They need to exercise this dominance in some way, and since you as their owner are dominant to them, then the best way they can do this is to have other pups to play with. Of course, there are some pups who do not see their owner as dominant to them, so it is up to you to assert that or they’ll run rings around you.

Pups tend to think in terms of family or pack, and while some may consider their owner to be the pack alpha others do not, to some ‘owner’ is separate but still part of the pack, and occasionally the Alpha pup might even consider the owner to be subordinate.

Where an owner has more than one pup (or if they regularly meet with other owners and their pups) the pups will think of themselves as pack and this is an indication of their loyalty to each other. They may be happy to consider each other pack brothers or sisters, but sometimes they will organise into some kind of hierarchy. This usually depends on things such as level of dominance, strength, age, size, etc.

An Alpha is considered the top dog, the leader of the pack. They get to eat first and have the best food, best toy, if they want something that one of the other subordinates pups have then they take it. The Beta pup is the second in charge, may even be a bit smarter than the Alpha, they’ll be strong and occasionally challenge the Alpha to keep them on their toes, but they also are smart enough to know when to back off. The beta is the pup that’s in charge of the other pups, kind of like a big brother or sister; they’ll keep the rest in line and protect the less strong as well as protecting against outside forces. Some pups are more dominant and others are submissive, this usually shows when watching the way the pups interact with each other.

3.8 Fun & Games

From non-sexual to overtly sexual, there are many games you can play with your pup, depending on if you mix with other pups and owners or if it’s just you and your pup. Pups love to play games, they can be a great way to bond, train or increase your pups use of their olfactory sense.

* Fetch where something is thrown is fun but will get old quick as human-pups aren’t designed to move quickly on all fours. A variation is to place an object across the room from your pup and then tell them to fetch it. This can be great training for the stay, fetch/bring, give/drop commands; just be sure to teach your pup the rules first or you might get frustrated with them not ‘staying’ until the object is placed or running off with it once they have it.

* Find the owner, or owner’s item: If there is more than one biped at a get together and pup is in their headspace, you could blindfold the pup and have them find their owner from scent alone (there is a sexual version of this game but this guide isn’t aimed at that side of pup play). A variation on this is to have items that are new, freshly laundered or belong to friends, and an item that belongs to the owner (that hasn’t been washed since being worn), again with a blindfold and the pup has to pick out their owner’s item.

* Let your pup get the scent of something smelly and then hide it while they’re blindfolded, then have them try to find it. You can start off in a small area and then move to wider areas. A variation of this is to hide it without the pup knowing and then both of you going on a hunt for it together. This game of hunt the toy/item can be played with several pups and they get to compete against each other.

* Get down on your hands and knees and bark playfully at your pup, they’ll join in and probably end up licking your face.

* Light games of tug-of-war can be fun but remember your pup has human teeth and they’re not as robust as real dogs. This isn’t a good game to play with dominant pups as they think you are challenging them and will attempt to assert their dominance.

* Obstacle courses and agility. Your human-pup doesn’t have the same agility as a real dog, but with practice and games you could help them increase their speed and agility, while having fun. Start off small and be realistic, if you’re not sure if it will work try it yourself.

* If you’re in a position to take your pup out on a forest walk where you won’t be causing a public concern then this is a great way to get out and about and have some fun. Be sure to give your dog the protective gear where they need, thick kneepads with a hard shell are a must. And any dangly bits may require strapping/harnessing.

* Tummy rubs - self-explanatory, wriggly, wiggly, tail-wagging fun.

Games are a lot of fun, but don’t overplay with your pup, they don’t need constant stimulus to be happy and they need to rest. Playing too much can take the fun out of the game and lead the pup to becoming bored with the game.

3.9 Tips & Hints (some summary from above points)

* Always make sure your pup has plenty of water, they can’t ask you for a drink if they’re thirsty and being a pup can be thirsty work.

* Pups like to be petted, stroked, cuddled and fussed over. It might sound obvious but some people may feel hesitant about doing it to their pup.

* Your pup likes to play but they don’t have to always be active to be enjoying your company. They can just as happily curl up at your feet. In fact after a fair bit of play they’ll want to do this for a rest.

* There is no place for humiliation in pup play. Dogs do not feel humiliation. Human-pups may feel shame or they may feel sad if they have disappointed you, but they do not usually understand the concept of humiliation. Just as you wouldn’t humiliate a real dog, you shouldn’t humiliate your human-pup.

* Physical punishment beyond a light swat to the rump with a rolled up paper is abuse.

* Don’t pull their tail; pups really don’t like that.

* Pups like to be scratched behind the ears or at the back of the neck, but remember not to scratch too hard as they don’t have the thick fur real dogs have. Be aware of the length and sharpness of your nails.

* Pulling on a pups collar can choke them, be very careful; using a harness and leash for walks is a lot kinder.

* Chain, chocker collars sound fun and authentic but can be very dangerous.

* If you can’t tell what your pup wants/needs, ask them to show you, and then follow them where they lead.

* A pup that doesn’t get human exercise will become unhealthy.

* Learning your pup’s language can greatly improve both yours and your pup’s play experience.

* Teasing and tormenting your pup (e.g. with treats that are kept just out of reach) can be fun for you and maybe even play for the pup for a short time, but it gets old and before long your pup will just get annoyed at you.

* If you don’t want something to be chewed, keep it out of the way of your pup.

* If a real dog does it expect your human-pup to do it.

* If you wouldn’t do it to a real dog then talk to your human-pup before you do it to them.

Alpha – The most dominant pup in the family/pack.

BDSM – An acronym of Bondage & Discipline, Domination & Submission, Sadism & Masochism which are kink-related activities that some people take part in.

Biped – A two legged animal, in this case, a human (as oppose to a human-pup)

Butterflies – Pretty, colourful things that need to be chased in the garden.

Canine Cousins – Real/biological dogs.

Cat/Kat – The enemy, set on world domination, they can have usefulness because of their intelligence, usually as lawyers and the like, but ultimately they are cunning and evil.

Dominant – The partner who takes the dominant role in a BDSM relationship. The one who’s in charge of the ‘pack’ (see also Alpha). [A person who is dominant in a BDSM relationship may still be a pup and not necessarily a dominant one.]

Electro-shock Collar – A device used for training real dogs that is NOT suitable for human-pups.

Grooming – Looking after your pups personal hygiene.

Headspace – The mindset of an individual; the way they think or feel.

Human-pup – A human who gets into the role and headspace of a pup. Same meaning applies to Human-dog.

Olfactory – pertains to the nose and sense of smell.

Owner – someone who owns a pup, this is used here to refer to a handler, caretaker, controller or any other human who has responsibility for a human-pup

Pack – The pup’s family; can be other human-pups, real pups and bipeds.

Pupmode – when the pup is actively in the role of a pup.

Pupspace – the mindset that a person goes into when they absorb themselves into puppy play as a pup.

Pup – A human-pup (for the purpose of this guide).

Safeword – A word that is used in BDSM play to signal that the submissive needs the scene to end. There can also be a slow word that says they don’t want it to stop but they either need a breather or the just need it to go slower.

Slave – A submissive who has gone the extra step of giving up all their usual rights to their Dominant partner/Master. Sometimes there will be a pre-agreed contract that designates reasonable limitations of the control the Dominant has.

Squirrels – The enemy, they’re more evil if they’re less cunning than cats, you’ve been warned.

Stray – An unowned pup, usually very hyperactive and annoying because they just want attention and someone to belong to, although they can go to the other extreme and be shy and unassuming.

Submissive – A person who, when in a relationship, gives themselves over to the rules and desires of the Dominant partner to serve/please them. A person who is submissive in a relationship is not necessarily submissive in life (or even as a pup). A submissive usually retains the right to say “no” in such a relationship unlike a slave.