man: how much should i tip? man: service was terrible, but i did receive my chosen menu items... eventually man: hmm... 10% tip? seems to low man: oh yeah, the server stabbed my friend. you ok? friend (with knife in back): ow ow ow man: $1 tip. feels too rude to give nothing at all man (with knife in front): ouch. server just stabbed me as well man: yeah, $1. i just can't make myself write 0.00