As the final flurry of votes is counted in the postal survey, it's time to reflect a little on the experience of the last few months. As a deeply committed older Christian, I've been dismayed by the contributions of Australian churches to the acrimonious and damaging debate which has been imposed upon us, and particularly by those who have joined the Coalition for Marriage.

I've been dismayed, first, because Australian churches have been callous and un-Christ-like in their support for an extended public campaign, which they surely knew was certain to cause widespread distress and suffering to some of Australia's most vulnerable citizens. Even a small amount of research would have revealed already high levels of suicide, self-harm and mental health vulnerability among those whose lives, relationships, identity, and worth would become the subject of public debate.

But instead of taking heed of this research, instead of gently seeking the counsel of LGBTI-plus Australians, churches involved in the Coalition for Marriage pushed ahead regardless. They wagered on the lives of people the church should have been protecting, when it was already a sure bet that their actions would embolden Australia's bigots and hateful homophobes, which they have.

I've been dismayed, second, by the essentially dishonest, fear-driven and fear-creating nature of the campaign churches have signed up to, and put big money towards. The Coalition for Marriage campaign is pervasively dishonest. It is dishonest in not being upfront about the foundational reason conservative Christians are implacably opposed to marriage equality, and that is their belief that any and all sexual relationships outside of heterosexual marriage are immoral and defective.