Why Being a Man Means I’m Part of the Problem.

Toxic masculinity is tearing us apart.

It’s time to do away with the concept of ‘manhood’ altogether.

The above article were written by male feminists who seems to dislike masculinity, manhood, and men general. They are the most recent in a long line of anti-male screeds coming from male feminists.

Every few weeks these kind of article appear on progressive blogs. The content of the articles is always the same: masculinity is bad. Manhood is bad. Men are bad. Some of them try to get around those arguments by adding adjectives like “toxic” before masculinity, yet most of their commentary reveals that the issue has nothing to do with “toxicity.” Their problem is masculinity, manhood, and men.

The articles carry a distinct tone of anger and resentment toward any aspect of maleness. This leaves me with a question: what is the deal with male feminists?

In Sargon of Akkad’s recent addition to the Why Do People Hate Feminism series, he discussed male feminists. He argued that there are three types of male feminists: the non-masculine ones, the well-meaning, apologetic ones, and the self-loathing ones. While I agree with Sargon’s grouping, the problem remains that what these men say is typically the same: they see no value in masculinity, manhood, or maleness beyond what can be used to please women.

This is understandable. The feminist message about men is anything but positive. It is hardly surprising that people who constantly hear that all men benefit from “male privilege” and “rape culture” at women’s expense would come to think there is nothing good about being male.

What baffles me is that the very messages coming from feminists are the same type of negative, antipathetic messages feminists rail against when people direct them at women. But turn these antagonistic messages turn to men, and male feminists cannot support them fast enough.

I struggle to understand why this happens. What is it about male feminists that makes them so inclined to support a group of people whose numbers include those who tell someone on a first date “I know the chief of police … so, don’t try and get creepy; I know all my rights?”

As a result of working and associating with male victims of abuse, I frequently see people who experience a great deal of self-loathing. Those men and boys usually have reasons for thinking so little of themselves. They were situations where they had no choice but to listen to someone degrade and dehumanize them.

Male feminists, with rare exceptions, do not have this problem. They can easily walk away from feminists who demonize men. They could easily reject misandrous theories like “The Patriarchy” and “rape culture.” They could ignore the negative social expectations placed on males while adopting the positive ones. Instead, they attack men and boys. Every article, every tweet, every blog post comes with a ridiculous, self-loathing tone.

This mentality only serves to beats people down. It is one of the reasons boys are failing in schools, why there are so few social services for men, why there is so little attention paid to men’s health issues, and why male victims receive so little help. The constant “you’re bad and brought it on yourself” tone that comes from male feminists always raises my ire.

Yet every time I see a male feminist behave in this vicious, masochistic self-degradation my desire to put him in his place falls away “for now that I see him, I do pity him.”

For many male feminists, feminism is their “precious.” Many of them have spent a lifetime caught under its spell. One could only expect male feminists to defend the thing they find most valuable, even if that thing makes them hate themselves.

What I see from the above articles is less an attack on men and more projection of the “faults” those male feminists see in themselves. It is easier to blame men as a group because at the very least the male feminist will not be alone. He will not be the only one.

I hope that at some point male feminists realize it is not them (at least to an extent) but the ideology that is the problem.