(We’re lining up the kindergartners to go to their next class. Note that I’m only 25.)

Me: *to a teacher* “So yeah, I’m figuring on going home after this.”

Kindergartener: “You can’t go home yet! You have to wait for your mom!”

Me: “No I don’t, sweetie. I have my own car.”

Kindergartener: *gasp* “Did you get married?”

Me: “No.”

Kindergartner: “Then you must be like fifty years old or something!”