In what Republicans are describing as a huge concession, they have convinced gun manufacturers to put a sticker on AR-15 assault rifles indicating they are not to be used for school shootings.

“And you said we only trade in useless platitudes.”

The NRA lauded the responsibility of the industry in responding to recent atrocities.

“Finally these weapons will no longer find their way into the wrong hands.”

The stickers will be placed on all AR-15s at their original point of sale so those contemplating shooting up a school know to choose something less lethal, though the stickers will not be required at gun shows or for private sales.

“Don’t push us too far now.”

Ironically, though the stickers say the guns are not recommended for school shootings, gun experts say that is at odds with their ease of use, low recoil, and light weight.

“The perfect tool for ambitious school shooters would really be more accurate.”