Being a good leader can sometimes mean stepping back from the alpha female stereotype and letting go of the conventional view of achievement

I spent 10 happy years as a freelance writer. I loved the freedom: working from my home office, kitchen table or in cafes, taking time off when I wanted and saying no to work that didn’t light me up.

But while I made a decent enough living, I couldn’t help feeling I should be doing more – like developing the entrepreneurial streak that had kept me afloat for a decade.

So I rented office space, hired a few part-time staff and set about growing my business. I’d designed my own training courses in PR, writing and media interview skills and had a loyal client base, so growing this part of my business made sense.

Soon I was making more money than I ever had before and delegating the things I didn’t enjoy - but I had never felt more unhappy in my work.

While I’d hired great staff, I hated being a boss: dealing with holiday requests, sickness absence and just being around other people, which I found distracting. I’m a sociable person, but having worked alone for so many years, I was frustrated by the dip in my productivity. So whenever I thought I could get away with it, I would hide out at my kitchen table, feeling guilty about not being a better boss.

My turnover had increased, but so had my overheads. I was taking on projects that I hated to pay other peoples’ wages and to fund an office I didn’t even like working in. The month I paid my employees, but couldn’t afford to pay myself, I realised something had to change.

A year on, I’m back in my spare room and have no one on the payroll: instead I hire in freelancers as and when I need them. My turnover is lower, but then again, so are my overheads. I work fewer hours, but I have never felt more fulfilled.

I’m realising that I’m part of a growing community of women who are are redefining success and what it means to be a leader. For women like us, success is not about climbing the corporate ladder or punching through the glass ceiling (although there’s nothing wrong that, of course), it’s about designing a life where you get to make up the rules. That means working where, when and how you want and defining success on your terms, unlike the alpha female, whose worth is defined by doing things better and faster than others.

I’m inspired by women like Marie Forleo, creator of the online business course B-school; author and spiritual leader Gabrielle Bernstein; and “suitcase entrepreneur” Natalie Sisson who runs a business from her laptop, while travelling the world.

While they run very different businesses, what they have in common is a shared commitment to changing the way we live and work. With the help of technology, they’ve built talented teams of people from all over the world, many of whom work remotely, on a freelance or contract basis, that have helped them build incredible businesses that are making a difference in the world.

Letting go of the need to prove myself in conventional terms has freed me up to be more creative. Now I’m taking my PR training business in a completely new direction that is as much about thought leadership and change as it is about paying the bills.

I’ve realised my feminine power doesn’t lie in achievement. It’s about exercising my freedom to live and work in a way that makes me feel happy and inspiring others to do the same.

I may be a business of one, working from my spare bedroom, but I’ve never felt more like a leader.

Janet Murray is a writer, speaker and PR trainer. Read her blog at janetmurray.co.uk