By Karishma Desai

When was the last time you heard a man say “Oh I want to marry an American girl because they are so family oriented!” or “I love the traditional culture and soft nature of Australian women”? Probably never.

It is no mystery that many men view Asian women as the ideaI wife. SadIy, the ones that specifically see out Asian brides are usually the ones you do NOT want to be married to. If there is one thing that travel has taught me, is that chauvinistic males come in aII shapes and color.

Let’s start with motive. Why exactly are these men so keen to start dating Asian women? Yes, Asian girls may have certain desirable qualities that most western women lack. Relatively speaking, we can be more gentle, feminine and hold family values in high regard due to our mostly conservative upbringing. This is a blessing but also a curse. While I am grateful that I was raised in a more conservative environment, there have been plenty of occasions where I was envious of my female friends from more liberal countries like UK or America. Aside from the fact that they have more freedom and command more respect in their home countries, they are perceived very differently by members of the opposite sex. Of course, they do receive their share of chauvinism from sad, insecure males, but it is only a fraction of what I’ve seen women in Asian countries face. It is bad enough we have to deal with the patriarchy in our own countries, but now thanks to the media showering us with stereotypes, we have foreign fellows looking for a ‘submissive Asian wife’ because they can’t seem to handle the strong minded women in their own countries. So while there are many good hearted men out there looking for a genuine relationship with women of other cultures, there are also many that are in it for all the wrong reasons. What are these insane stereotypes that motivate these fellows?

Asian Women Have No Career Goals

WHAT HE SAYS: I am looking for an Asian wife because they are more family oriented. Most of the local women I meet are too focused on their careers and too opiniated.

WHAT HE MEANS: The women in my country want to have a career and want the same opportunities and respect as me. They actually have *GASP* opinions! I want a girl from a poor country whom I ‘assume’ is not so educated so that I can control her in order to soothe my fragile male ego.

They literally couldn’t be more wrong about us. Dating Asian women is not as easy as they think. Every single one of my Asian female friends are either studying or working for good companies. Some are even starting their own businesses. My best friend from Sri Lanka now works as an a dredging engineer in the UAE. My old Vietnamese roommate works for TATA in Japan. The number of female entrepreneurs in India itself is growing by the day. We may also want a family life, but that doesn’t mean we are going to let our careers go down the drain.

A strong, confident man does not perceive a strong woman as a threat. These men view western women as ‘not wife material’ because they have a mind of their own with goals in life. These men know they are weak, so they need a weaker woman to feel like a man. And they assume that Asian women are weak and stupid. Prove them wrong, ladies.

BABIES! BABIES! BABIES!

ME: I would like to open my own business of handmade jewelry in the future because I loved doing art ever since I was a little girl.

HIM: You don’t need to work if you’re my wife. I make a lot of money to support us and our future children. I would like to have at least two.

This was an actual conversation I had with an American man. His first reaction to me wanting to follow my passion was to establish that my sole purpose in life was to give him babies. He later on told me he was dating Asian women because he wants to start a family. It is downright hilarious how these fellows think we are just waiting to have their babies. If they believe we are going to just drop all of our dreams and career goals just to have babies then I feel really sorry for these deluded, washed up Romeos.

Western women are ‘sluts’ and Asian women are ‘housewives’

WHAT HE SAYS: I get put off by women who drink a lot and sleep around. They are like men. I would prefer a traditional lady who knows how to respect herself.

WHAT HE MEANS: Indulging in alcohol and seeking pleasure are rights solely reserved for us men. Females need to stay in their place and save themselves for me because my penis is so important it can change the social status and identity of a woman.

Whether you’re a man or woman, no one wants to have a partner who has slept with the entire neighborhood. But have you noticed that the same men who throw themselves around at anything remotely female are the same ones who seem to have such a problem with women exploring their sexuality? H.Y.P.O.C.R.I.T.E.

Asian women DO SLEEP AROUND. And yes, we enjoy our fair share of alcohol as well. We also like to go to parties and hang out with our male friends. No, we don’t sit at home all day cooking and cleaning. We have lives. Vibrant, colorful lives and we don’t plan on changing that for some unseasoned chicken wing who lives his life in hypocrisy.

Asian Women Have No Standards and Marry Anyone with Money

WHAT HE SAYS: I would like my woman to take good care of herself and dress pretty for me.

WHAT HE MEANS: I want a young hottie that I can show off to my friends while I make zero effort to look halfway decent for her.

If I had a penny for every troll that approached me with these lines, I’d have enough money to buy a kingdom and banish them from it. I don’t know where these Grinch-looking fellows get off expecting supermodels to fall into their lap. Do they know the hardcore beauty routines that we Asian girls follow? Korean girls actually have a NINE step skincare routine. Japanese girls spend hours every morning making sure they look their best every singe day. In India, we are drowning in haldi and multani mitti and what not to make sure our skin glows. We got no time for Mr. Wannabe Playboy who hasn’t combed his hair in days.

Our Culture Doesn’t Matter To Us

Thanks to the media and the abundance of mail order bride services that paint the image of a ‘petite and submissive Asian wife’, it is no surprise that a lot of these men are looking for just that. He is only interested in one trait of Asian cultures – “traditional family values”, which is a fancy way of covering up domestic violence and irresponsible family planning. Everything else like our food habits, religion, festivals, etc he can’t be bothered about because they don’t benefit him in any way. And everything should be about him as he is the center of the universe. Deny him that, and you’re suddenly a whore that is no better than the liberated western women that he hates so much. Well, he isn’t exactly Prince Charming either so…

So there you go ladies, five red flags you need to watch out for when you start dating white men. A man who is genuinely interested in you will be interested in your culture, try to learn your language and support you in any of your career goals. The whole point of dating someone from a different country to experience life in a whole new way. If you can’t share each other’s culture and grow, what’s the point?