To Eliminate Churches' Unfair Tax Exemptions, Trump Declares Everyone Tax-Exempt

WASHINGTON, D.C.—Beto O'Rourke has sparked a discussion/lecture in our country about tax exemptions for religious organizations. O'Rourke declared in a town hall last night that any churches that oppose his LGBTQ positions should have their tax exemption removed.

Many pointed out that it was unfair that churches have a tax exemption at all, claiming that this shows unfair government bias toward religion, "almost like there is freedom of religion in this country or something."

President Trump caught wind of this discussion and quickly took action. "My Democratic colleagues are absolutely right that it's unfair that churches get a tax exemption," he said in a speech, "so effective immediately, everyone in the country has a permanent tax exemption."

Constitutional scholars tried to say that Trump couldn't do this via executive order, but they kinda lost all ground to stand on when they let Obama get away with murder via executive order. So they just shook their fists impotently.

The move immediately stimulated the economy as more capital was available to both consumers and businesses. Democrats scrambled to undo this damage. Unable to raise money via taxation, however, they were forced to turn to voluntary donations to fund their projects in order to prove that government is an integral and vital part of our society.

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