The head of Hell’s delegation, who was treated last month to a gala reception at which guests dined with especially commissioned extra-long spoons, had previously been cleared of any wrongdoing by Fifa’s ethics committee. Lucifer, Fifa insisted, was “an individual of the highest moral character and an example to the rest of the Football Family”. Though Fifa did admit that there was some evidence of bribery, it put this down to “a few isolated minions” and stressed these were instances of “venial rather than mortal bribery”.