(NEWSER) – Nicolas Cage pulled a Christian Bale on Sunday, and now finds himself caught on tape going ballistic. Cage was in Romania filming a Ghost Rider sequel when he lost it outside a nightclub where he had been partying—around 5am, the Daily Mailreports. It’s unclear why Cage is so upset, but he can be heard shouting at a man and two women: “Get in that car and walk away. I’ll f*****g die because of honor. I’ll f*****g die right now.” Much of the rant is hard to make out, but among Cage’s other lines: “Don’t touch me you little b****,” and “See my eyes—respect them as you’d respect me.”

Way to write a news story newser. What kind of shit reporting is that? I mean clearly these people did something. Nic Cage doesn’t just fly off the handle for no reason. He doesn’t make people respect his eyes unless the situation really calls for it. So wheres the rest of the story? Lady must have done something really bad and wildly inappropriate, probably something completely classless and immature. Because if I know Nic Cage, and I do, I know that he does not tolerate immaturity.

PS

Would it be too much to get “Respect my eyes as you respect me” tattooed on my forehead? Probably not right.

PPS

Nic Cage needs to hire me to be his PR manager. He could be punching babies and kicking handicapped people and I would find a way to spin it. That’s just what best friends do for each other, they have each other’s back.