The other night Katie and I were a little bored. So we decided to try something new. Something crazy. We decided to live like the common people and journey to Lawrence, KS to eat some burgers.

We went to the Burger Stand at the Casbah and it was good. Not mind blowing. Not disappointing. Good.

Except for the duck fat fries. But I’ll talk about those glorious fuckers here in a minute.

You see, Katie and I were both privately educated. So while you public school kids were doing keg stands and disappointing your parents, we were drinking scotch and plotting how to profit off of your future labors.

Not really, but we’re going to go with that.

So while we set ourselves up very nicely for later in life, we missed out on the rampant tomfoolery of living in a college town that throws shots with abandon. After asking around, we were pointed to the Burger Stand as the place to start our night.

As we entered it, there was a line consisting of: bros, a group of unbathed young men in purposely shitty-looking clothing, a person that I guarantee rode a fixed-speed bike there and girls wearing ill-fitting sweat pants.

Ah, the publics.

I didn’t get a photo of the line itself because they were all staring at me. Probably because they overheard me tell Katie that they smelt like patchouli. But here is one of the bar and a dude that’s wearing a backwards baseball hat indoors.

So we order. Being that it’s a college town, there’s a PBR special. So I order it to fit in. Katie gets a vodka soda.

They call our names and I go grab our food while trying my hardest to not slam the shit out of my forehead on the low ceiling. Seriously though, the ceiling leading to the food pick-up window is dangerously low. You’ve been warned, taller, much better than shorter people, readers.

So what did we order?

I got a butchers burger (beef, sausage, bacon patty w/ habanero ketchup and onion straws) with a side of duck fat fries.

Katie got a black and blu burger with a side of poutine. What’s poutine? It’s a Canadian delicacy consisting of fries, brown gravy, cheese curds and lost self-respect.

Now let’s talk duck fat fries.

Because they were the real mvp here.

Everything else was good. But not worth driving out to Lawrence for. The duck fat fries, on the other hand, were the stuff of legend.

You need them.

Right now.

In your mouth.

Can you hear them?

Singing to you?

Listen to their siren song.

Eat the fuck out of them.

They have a very unique flavor. And I loved it. You might not like them. I don’t know. But they did awesome things to my taste buds. Super bad for you, but then again, sitting amongst all these liberals is just as bad for your health too, so why not?

We stuck around and had a few more drinks because there was a group of dirty, feral children outside and I didn’t want to deal with that shit. Yes, I’m an asshole. I get it. But do you know what I don’t get? Hepatitis.

I had a good time, though. The energy of the place was great. It’s a cool place to drink. Next time I’m in Lawrence, though, I’ll probably just get drinks and duck fat fries here then go to Hank’s Charcuterie. Because that place looked super rad. And had at least 1,389% less drunk girls wearing ill-fitting sweatpants.

Ryan:

Taste: 6/10

Duck Fat Fries: 10/10

Environment: 8/10

Bathrooms: Pregnant lady was in it for like 37 minutes. Didn’t go.

Katie:

Taste: 7/10

Environment: 8/10

Bathrooms: Meh.

803 Massachusetts St, Lawrence, KS 66044