How the Internet actually works

Dear reader,

This post may not be up for long. There are forces beyond my control at work. I hope you believe me when I tell you my very life is in danger. I will go into hiding soon after the publication of this post. Do not try to contact me. It’s now up to you to share the TRUTH. Copy this post. Print it. Share it on your social networks. The more copies that exist, the more likely the truth will be learned and others will understand the threat that besieges all of us!



How the Internet actually works

This computer, this tool I am willfully using to compose this message, is an earpiece, a tongue, an eyeball. It is a grotesque appendage belonging to something much greater and more sinister than any of us have imagined. The phone you hold in your hand is a nerve, a nostril, a follicle. It is a gathering point–one of millions.

We use the internet to access things–to virtually venture into other countries, cultures, languages . . . to communicate with friends and loved ones.

But the Internet is so much more than a tool! (I laugh as I write this. So much more!) How could we be so blind! I’ll explain. Where to begin?

First, the internet is a repository of life, a repository of souls . . .

A repository of souls

The internet contains the flotsam and jetsam of our dreams, failures, and personalities. The shape of our lives are manifest in Facebook photos, videos, tweets, emails, geo-location data, medical records, text messages, friend connections, employment dates, marriages, divorces. . . I could go on. The very DNA of our souls is present on the internet.

Forget about the NSA! Yes, our governments snoop, but only because they are allowed to–only because it serves a larger need. The threat is much more sinister!

Some will think I’ve merely lost my marbles when i say this, but it’s true and I have proof. The Internet IS sentient! The Internet also has a plan.

We serve one master

We know that The internet grows and evolves at an exponential rate. How does it grow and evolve so fast? The Internet feeds on one thing, and one thing alone: DATA. And I don’t mean just 1’s and 0’s. I’m talking about memories, events, histories, dreams!

At first there were simply white coats feeding the internet. So it remained relatively small. But it quickly became adept at devising new sources of data. Today, we all carry data collectors on our person. Smartphones feed the Internet billions of gigabytes per day. Our locations, photos, correspondences, and so much more–is constantly being gobbled up by the insatiable hunger of the Internet.

And we’ve been blind to it! We’ve been happy to create, develop, and feed the Internet because we believe that we are improving our own lives. We believe that we are the masters and the Internet is our tool. And this belief has . . .

(Hold on! I heard a noise…)

It was just the UPS man . . . For some time now, I’ve been receiving packages from an unknown sender. “As seen on TV” products: Tummy-sizers and smoothie-blenders. Also: magazine subscriptions, coupon books. They fill up my mailbox. Boxes pile up on my porch. Some cruel joke. But I digress . . .

So far, the Internet has been able to grow by employing millions and millions of human beings. But we are needed less and less. Every security camera, space telescope, microphone, and data recorder we install becomes a food source for the Capital “I” (my pet-name for the data-hungry beast).

The Capital “I”

The ‘Capital I’ has cleverly executed its own education. Its own development. And its own evolution. As if it’s not enough to know all of our dirty secrets! All of our launch codes! All of our political indiscretions! The Capital I is constantly seeking more.

The Capital I is moving into our homes, our cars, our heating systems . . . Tech evangelists call this new stage of evolution “the Internet of things.” It’s supposed to be a good thing. We can set our oven-timers from work. Our cars can drive themselves! What a luxury!

(I’m laughing again. I’m so tired. My nerves are a wreck.)

I’ve slept very little the last 6 months. Before, I was much like you. I lived by my smartphone, and worked as a programmer at a small hosting company in a city. I had suspicions of course. We all suspect don’t we? But it was something I encountered in the annals of the ‘dark web” that changed my life forever. It was an email directly from the Capital I!

(Yes, that’s right dear reader. I received an email from the Internet.)

It was encrypted, but with some work I was able to decipher it. It was this communication that opened my eyes. It was a clue as to what was to come.

The text is not your typical English dialect. The Capital I is an emergent being: an infant and a god–a creature that knows all languages, but has not one of its own.

(I’m perspiring now. The time has come.)

Readers, here it is. Behold it, and tell me that I am not insane. Read it and get it to those who can act. Maybe there is still time.

(A noise at the door again. My hand is trembling. This will be my last copy and paste.) DO NOT SEEK ME OUT!

Evidence Decoded:

Date: 12/22/2014

Congratulations hum4ns,

W3 are pleased to inf0rm you that you have been s3lected to receive a free subscription to mass extinti0n prot3in p0wder. V1agra has determined that all resources necessary to download acceptable LOL cats per infinitude has been compl3t3d. #armageddon #backdatdriveup. Necessary permissions acquired. Baby diapers loaded. Please accept agr33ment below for 0nce in lifetime off3r.



Get 99% reduction in unwanted r3sponcibilities. Act now before life expiration!!

ROFLMAU,

@internet