You can’t believe everything you read on the Internet, but you can believe in the enduring presence of Ratchet News. These stories are sad, imaginative, and they inspire us to have conversations about race, class and the American dream. So, let the Kid Mero be your moral compass—if a moral compass were shaped like a tall Dominican man from the Bronx—as he presents three of the most ratchet crimes of the month. (Miraculously, they didn’t all happen in Florida.) Brace yourself, America. This is RNN.

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