When I signed up for this exchange, I had no idea the evilness I was bringing into my home. I'll be honest, I used to be naive enough to believe the pro-gnome propaganda put forth by Travelocity.

My Santa opened my eyes to how dangerous these murderous lawn creatures are. I received a very informative book titled "How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack", which detailed measures I need to take to protect my family and me.

I also received a dinosaur (Godzilla?) that eats gnomes. For some odd reason, dinosaurs aren't listed in the suggested arsenal for Gnome attacks. I will write the author right away so he can correct this error.

Thank you, Santa, for saving my life and opening my eyes. You have successfully recruited a new soldier in this war against terror perpetrated by gnomes.