Top Ten Ways the World Would Be Different if Everyone Were Named Kevin...

As presented on the January 17, 1997 David Letterman show.

From the Home Office in Wahoo, Nebraska...

10. Former Secretary General of the United Nations: Kevin Kevin-Ghali

9. Musician Prince is "The Artist Formerly Known as and also is Currently Known as Kevin"

8. When someone says, "Knock, knock," and you say, "Who's there?" you can be pretty sure what's coming

7. Your cab driver's name: KEVIIWYONN

6. Fraternity guys would all be nicknamed "Kev-O"

5. Punchline to famous joke: "Kevin Goulet? Yeah"

4. When it sounds like Springsteen fans are booing, they're actually yelling "Kevin"

3. There's a really cool Twilight Zone episode about a guy named "Bob"

2. If you're having sex with your wife Kevin, but you're fantasizing about supermodel Kevin Schiffer, and at the height of passion you accidentally call out, "Kevin!" -- No problem!

1. Popular snack: Slim Kevins