Chapter 4: Theater Of The Bizarre… Script

Flash! Into the rolling morning! Crash! I'm in the coolest driver's high! Well, now that I think I've gotten you suitable pumped up and ready to go, I bet you're eager to read this chapter right now, aren't you? I don't need to know what your response is. If you're reading this, then that already means you were expecting to enjoy it. Yay for self-fulfilling prophecies! Gotta love ironic fates. Except the sad ones. Unless they don't happen to you, of course. Then you're free to laugh and act like a petty dick. But, enough of my lecturing you young whippersnappers, let's get to the juicy bits already! …No, not those juicy bits. You pervs.

xxx

Saturday!

Fun! Excitement! Things to do!

Well, at least two of those items were accurate to our group of heroes. There were certainly things to do, and Velvet was excited enough for the entire cast and crew.

In fact, right then Velvet was enthusiastically chatting on her scroll with someone, while Teams RWBY and JNPR filed into the Beacon Academy Theater. It was at least midnight when all of them got texts to meet for a script read in the theater. So, according to Velvet's wishes, they showed up promptly at ten o'clock.

Or, in other words, too damn early for a Saturday.

"Oh, that's most excellent!" Velvet squeed into her speaker. "And when they come, do you think I can talk to you about something!"

Noticing her compatriots arriving in the room, Velvet silently waved at them, and gestured to come up to the head of the stage near her. Then, she turned her attention to the call at hand.

"I think it's amazing you can always find time to talk to your students, sir," Velvet continued to gush. "And don't worry, it isn't all that much. …Right, I understand. …N-no, no! I'll hang up. I know you're pretty bust and- …Okay. I'll see you on Monday then!"

Closing her scroll, Velvet turned her full attention to Teams RWBY and JNPR, who had all decided to sit together in one large clump. "Hello everyone!"

"Hello!" Pyrrha immediately replied, with her usual smile and hand wave.

"Hey."

"Mornin'."

"Good morning!"

Various other greetings were either mumbled out or groaned by the rest of the assembled crew. Even Nora. She didn't even get a chance to finish her third serving of syrup-covered pancakes. It only stood to reason she was a little out of it too. But only slightly. Nora was still… Nora, after all.

"So, I have great news!" the rabbit-girl announced. "We're gonna get our equipment on Monday! Yay!". At that news, Velvet waved around her arms in an odd fashion in pure celebration. It was sort of reminiscent of those wacky inflatable tube-men that you see out of third-rate car dealerships. But, between the twinkle in her eye and her weird dance, it was more endearing than anything.

Upon receiving no responses, Velvet tried again. "C'mon! Yayyyy!"

"Yay!" came the group's responses, of varying levels of interest.

"Now that's more like it!" complimented Velvet.

Weiss, not having nearly the time nor the patience of all this posturing, decided to immediately cut to the chase. "Didn't you say that you had a script or something typed out?"

Velvet wagged her finger at the Schnee heiress in response. "Hush! I wasn't done with the good news yet!"

Naturally, being talked to like that visibly infuriated the already groggy and annoyed Weiss. In fact, her face was already red and her cheeks were puffed in anger. But, before she could release her normal barrage of insults and put-downs, she was cut off by Velvet starting to talk more about her project.

"I'm also going to talk to Ozpin on Monday! I'm going to see if I can get a little something extra, just for all of you!" Velvet explained further.

Now that calmed Weiss down significantly. If Velvet was talking to Ozpin about something for them, then that could mean a variety of good things. Like a few extra school and team credits! Or not having to take a test in one of her classes! This was a gateway for success to her!

Weiss started to clap with all the energy reserves she had left over from this morning. "I knew you could do it, Velvet! I knew it!"

Yang arched an eyebrow. "Oh, what's with the sudden change in attitude? Did the ice queen melt?" she snarked.

"Shut up, you!" Weiss hissed under her breath at Yang. Turning back to Velvet, she then said, "How can we start?"

"Well, first I'm going to assign you your positions…" Velvet replied, turning her back to the assembly. Grabbing a stack of scripts off of the stage, she then handed it to the group. "Okay, I have in mind a few things. Everyone take one, and I'll explain."

Nodding, Ruby took the stack in hand. As she grabbed one and passed the papers around, that gave Velvet to put on her thinking glasses. Adjusting the glasses by the bridge, she began to elaborate on everyone's new production roles.

"First of all, I'm going to need an assistant. Jaune, since you're a part of the club, that's gonna be you," she began.

"Alright," Jaune agreed passively.

"Nora, Ren, Weiss, Blake, and Pyrrha. You're going to be our stars."

"Yay!"

"Sure."

"Of course!"

"I'll do it!"

Velvet nodded in approval. "And Ruby and Yang. You're going to be part of the set-up."

"What's that?" Ruby inquired.

"Food, tables, chairs, maybe some set work. Pretty much anything that I don't already have covered," said Velvet.

"Uh, Velvet? What about the film crew? That's a pretty big chunk to leave out," pointed out Yang.

Velvet smirked as she adjusted her glasses by the nose again. She was trying (and failing) at getting the scheming reflective look on her lenses. "Trust me. I have that covered. By Monday, at least."

"You're bringing on more people?" Yang asked. She got a nod from Velvet in response. Yang gave a small shrug. "Okay, cool."

Clasping together her hands, Velvet grinned. Everything was falling into place flawlessly. Hell, she would probably be done making the greatest commercial ever before she knew it. Rubbing her hands together, she asked, "Great! Any questions?"

Jaune immediately raised his hand. Velvet nodded at him to start talking. A bit confusedly, he asked, "So, uh, who's the film crew?"

"My team," Velvet replied, without missing a beat.

That made Jaune raise an eyebrow. "…Do they even know how to work a camera?"

"It can't be that hard, right? Just push a button and boom! It's there. …L-look, we'll cross that bridge when we get to it, okay?" Velvet stammered, realizing the slightly skeptical look in Jaune's eyes.

"Yeah, I guess…" Jaune sighed. With an unseen roll of his eyes, he went back to reading his copy of the script.

Velvet picked up her own copy of the script and quickly flipped through to a few pages in. If she wanted to make THE premier commercial (that would solve all racism), then there wasn't a scant moment to waste. So, she felt that at least a few lines needed to be heard from her actors today. There wasn't a moment to spare! …In her mind, anyway.

"So, who wants to go first?" Velvet chirped.

"Isn't it a bit early for that?" immediately pointed out Weiss.

Velvet clicked her tongue. "Well, if we want to do this right, we should start night now!". She then cocked her hips to the side in a prissy manner.

Weiss felt a buzz of irritation in the back of her mind. Although she didn't realize it, it was because those exact actions reminded her a bit of herself. Eugh, that feeling… It wasn't great. It was like a dull headache. Or drinking orange juice after brushing your teeth.

"I'm with Weiss. I think we need to study our scripts first," added in Pyrrha.

Now Velvet had no room to move. Pyrrha was her big draw! Her ace in the hole! She was a big celebrity, even bigger than Weiss! Her face was everywhere, after all. From cereal to chaffing irritation cream, everyone knew Pyrrha. So, Velvet couldn't just say no to her. She didn't want to screw over the star power this commercial could have. Otherwise, it would be no better than a local used car dealership ad. And she'd seen those awful ads for Greek Candlestring's Totally Legit Autos. Or whatever new name that guy was using. It seemed to change with every commercial.

"…Fine. But I want you to be ready the next time we meet," caved in Velvet. Saying that stung, but it was really the best way to placate her main star.

All Velvet got back from the group were a few mumbled "Uh-huh" and "Yeah" responses. After that, all that was left was silence, and the occasional rustling of turning script pages. It was so quiet, you could almost hear a pin drop. Metaphorically, of course. The carpeted floor would naturally work against that. Also, nobody in the modern age carried pins with them for little to no reason. But, at least that metaphor still worked.

xxx

Naturally, as silent reading can't be best expressed in writing form, it's honestly best to skip ahead to where something actually happened. For some reason, it took a surprisingly long time for anyone to go over the script slightly in depth. Maybe that was due to Velvet's bizarre notes left in, like "The passion is the flame of the actor," or "Mother knows best, and mothers are women. Therefore, Pyrrha is shown to know the most here, as she is a woman (most likely)". And those aren't even close to "Blake merely dreamed that she was surrounded by racists. Now the bigger woman is awake". It was like she had a severe head wound while writing the script.

But who was one to really argue with the mystic sorcery that's called the writing process?

Anyway, the story will now resume at a point where something actually happened. In this case, it's where everyone decides to leave. A few hours later. A few confusing, roughly coherent hours later.

xxx

Velvet walked with her head held high as she left the theater. As for her friends lagging behind her quite a distance, no so much.

"…Did any of you get that?" Ruby whispered under her breath to her team.

"No, no," Weiss replied, still completely baffled. It was almost as bad as reading Blake's fan fiction. Almost.

"Is Velvet high? I bet she's high," Yang replied, a little louder than the others would have liked. Blake swiftly clamped her hand over her girlfriend's mouth. In retaliation, Yang waste no time in liking Blake's hand.

"Euugh!" Blake cringed, wiping her hand on her pants. Her hand was now stained slightly blue, from the gum Yang was chewing before she walked into the theater. Thanks a lot, blue dye that stayed on a tongue.

Yang briefly snickered at Blake's plight, before getting a light punch on the shoulder by Weiss. "Do you have some kind of disorder?" Weiss rhetorically insulted.

"I'm sorry. My awesomeness is a disease. A sexy, funny disease. Right Blakey-pooh?" Yang replied in a cocky/sickeningly sweet voice, the last part directed at Blake.

"I swear, you're just a toddler in a D-cup,,," the cat-girl tiredly groaned.

Yang has to struggle with her own consciousness not to make a pedophile joke. Really, that wouldn't help her already confused and slightly-sore team feel better. Seriously, what were those theater seats stuffed with? Ball bearings and jigsaw puzzle pieces?

So, Yang switched her jovial tone with an appropriately tired one. "Geez, it felt like we were in there foreverrrrrrrrr…" she drawled out.

"You aren't kidding," Blake agreed. "It's like my life was slipping away."

"Well, at least ya got nine of 'em," Yang remarked. That got her a light shoulder punch from Blake this time.

"I don't see…" Weiss began, before stopping to see if Velvet and Team JNPR were gone from view already. Once they went their separate ways, she continued with, "I don't see why we have to help people with their projects again. I think we deserve a break."

"Because it's the right thing to do," Ruby offered earnestly.

"Yeah, snow princess. We gotta help out our pals," Yang also said.

Weiss huffed a little. "Think about it! Hasn't every show we've been in had its share of problems?" she observed.

After some thought, the rest of the team did have to admit that she did have a point. The music show, although it went over great, still had a lot of hurdles to jump over. Not to mention an injury happening on set, even though it wasn't their fault. Or, that whole 'dust public awareness' campaign later, which ended with a bunch of mental turmoil for everyone on the team, and Weiss' (thankfully) failed suicide attempt. So yeah, Team RWBY didn't exactly have the best run with appearing in media.

"Yeah…" Ruby agreed, scratching the back of her head. She didn't want to go through that fear of seeing Weiss like that again. It was almost too hurtful to think about.

"Well, we can't back out now," Blake pointed out, "We already agreed to it."

Weiss audibly sighed. "Damn… yeah…" she groaned. Sometimes, she hated the sense of honor that everyone at Beacon (including herself) generally had. If only it was so east to say "Fuck this" and leave on an extended vacation. But no, now she felt bad about thinking negatively. Honor could be a bitch sometimes. "So… I guess we have to…"

"Yep!" Ruby cheered, before patting Weiss on the back. "We're gonna rock it!"

"Yay," Weiss cynically replied. At that, she just flat out gave up on complaining to them. It wasn't like it was going to accomplish anything.

So, Team RWBY continued down the hallway, back to their room to enjoy the day.

If only they, or anybody else in the group knew how right it would have been to just ditch the project at that moment. In hindsight, nobody would blame them for doing so.

But, they had decided to play the hand they had. All they could do was think that it was the best they got.

xxx

Foreshadowing! Oh, who am I kidding? At this point, you could probably figure that things are going to go hilariously bad. But hey, that's what drew you here in the first place, isn't it? You knew what you were signing up for. Regardless of that though, I hope you're willing to keep on reading. I bet you are! But, I think I should stop here for now. Take a break or two. Eat a Calorie-Mate and a snake.

This has been The Draigg, and I'm still in a dream, Draigg eater!