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* The following is an opinion column by R Muse *

It is interesting to listen to the religious right and most Republicans, complain bitterly about and condemn Islamic theocracies as overbearing and harsh proponents of dictating morality according to Sharia Law. However, for all their complaints and criticisms of Islam, religious Republicans have tried, in vain, to regulate morality in America on myriad levels and on numerous topics. Now, a cultist religion in Utah has taken a step the Mullah’s in harsh Islamic societies would marvel at solely because they are doing it in a secular nation.

Late last week a Utah representative introduced a “Mormon resolution” officially declaring pornography a “public health crisis.” That obviously did not have the desired effect and so late last week the same Mormon lawmaker proclaimed that the “Internet violates a person’s First Amendment rights” because it “forces pornography on people who don’t want to view it.”

Seriously, the Mormon actually said those words out loud; and he wasn’t embarrassed or joking. Now, because the Utah Mormons don’t have the authority to shut down the Internet or imprison people who use it, they passed a law making pornography illegal with hefty fines and 30 days in jail for anyone caught by law enforcement viewing it in its mildest form. No, this isn’t a joke or a new law imposed in the Islamic Republic of Iran, it is the Mormon state that downloads more pornography than any other state. It makes one suspicious of just what those “magic underwear” wearing folks in Utah are really doing behind closed doors.

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So here’s the Mormon thinking on the Internet as a ‘thing’ and Internet porn as a violation of Utah Mormon’s First Amendment rights. The character pushing to regulate morality, Todd Weiler (R) said, “Someone may have the First Amendment right, according to the U.S. Supreme Court, to view pornography. But what about my First Amendment right not to view it?” No joke, Mr. Weiler actually said that and it went out over the airwaves.

Okay cult-boy, here’s the deal about how to beat that “unconstitutional” Internet and the pornography you claim the nasty Internet is forcing you to look at. If you’re so worried about “having” to view pornography, or are unable to tear yourself away from it when you click on a link, then just do what tens-of-millions of non-Mormons do; don’t click on the links and you won’t have to look at it. And, if you don’t like the Internet, disconnect the wire to your modem or do what sane people would do and turn that “Devil’s device” off and voila! No more unconstitutional Internet for you and yours. Also, what nearly anyone who has ever used the “unconstitutional” Internet likely knows, you have to physically maneuver to any site, especially a pornography site, and then click on a link to view it.

Maybe if Mr. Weiler went to a college not named for a Mormon cultist demigod, Brigham Young, he would have a rudimentary understanding of the First Amendment. The First Amendment specifically bans any laws, especially religious cult-driven laws, which prohibit any American’s ability to exercise free speech. However, it does not, and cannot, “ban a person from NOT viewing another’s act of free speech.”

As Alex Zielinski writing for “health” over at Think Progress noted, Weiler’s assertion is tantamount to “saying the First Amendment protects a pro-choice advocate’s right to never encounter anti-abortion protesters;” something the Supreme Court has already ruled on. Pro-choice advocates DO have to encounter and tolerate anti-abortion protestors simply because they are exercising their First Amendment right of free speech. What Weiler and Utah Mormons are complaining is that he, or his goofy religion, cannot control how other Utah Mormon’s browse the Internet; that is what he considers is a violation of his First Amendment rights.

Still not satisfied with an official Mormon legislature’s condemnation of pornography as “a public health crisis,” Utah Mormon’s passed legislation the Mormon governor with two first names, Gary Herbert, signed into law making viewing pornography a crime punishable by fines and a 30-day jail sentence. And these Mormon’s are not kidding either.

According to the Sheriff of Utah County, Jim Tracy, there will be a concerted religious morality police effort to bring the people exercising their constitutional right to look at what they want on the Internet to swift religious justice; at Utah taxpayers’ expense. Tracy said,

“I want to assure the good citizens of Utah that the brave men and women of law enforcement will be out in full force, tracking down porn offenders, and bringing them to justice. I can promise you this, those who we find breaking any porn laws will be seeing jail bars;” and pay a healthy fine to boot.

While some Americans may think this abominable “morality law” is a serious violation of personal or privacy rights, a Mormon anti-pornography group, the Utah Coalition Against Pornography posted on Facebook that the resolution signing marks a “time to celebrate and recognize this historic moment.” These freaks of nature have it all figured out and have set out different levels of “porn-watching violations” to send people to jail, and prison, over.

For example, “Missionary style pornography will result in a fine and 30 days in jail, while pornography that involves any kind of homogayness (sic) that’s sodomy or Devil worshipping will result in long-term prison sentences. Law enforcement will also be working closely with local ISPs and the NSA to monitor those who search out porn on the internet. We will win the war on porn and masturbation.”

According to another Mormon “anti-masturbation” group; “It is great what the state of Utah has done today in fighting the war on self-rape in this country. The rest of America needs to get with the times, vote for Ted Cruz, and make masturbation illegal once and for all. It is important to remember that our Lord and Savior loves each and every one of us, unless we masturbate of course, then we’ll burn in Hell for eternity.”

There is not much to comment on about these sad, sick, twisted morality-enforcing Mormons and their religious “war on porn and masturbation;” at least there is not much that could be printable. However, one can offer a suggestion; maybe if Mormon’s double-up on the “magic underwear” and/or disconnect from the “unconstitutional” Internet forthwith they can avoid being “First Amendment violated.” As one who follows politics closely, especially the influence of religion in conservative politics, this has to be the most Sharia-type law thus far and not-unlike what one imagines Puritanical theocracy looks like.

It is doubtless that this truly bizarre imposition of religion on people’s personal lives will be wiped out of existence by the judicial system. But what should terrify every American is that it occurred at all, much less became an event to celebrate; especially in a secular nation with a secular Constitution that Utah Mormons, like their evangelical cohorts, refuse to recognize as valid and certainly do not follow.