It was a difficult few weeks of begging and pleading but today it all paid off. This morning it was announced that GM & Chrysler would receive $17.4 billion dollars in loans. "We were relieved. It was a major victory" said a GM spokesman, "but we instantly realized that because of the way the books are handled at both companies that $17.4 was not a nice even number. We prefer 5's and 0's."



Accountants from GM & Chrysler met today at 8:45 a.m. and determined the money would best be split by 17. "This gives each company 8.5 billion. A much nicer number." This left .4 billion unaccounted for. By 9:00am a private luxury jet was fully catered and fueled. Accountants, executives and their families boarded the aircraft at 9:07 a.m. for a two week "business" trip to Maui.

While boarding the luxury liner a reporter caught up to them and asked one executive why they felt now was the best time to leave. The Executive was half way up the plane stairs and shouted, "We have a lot of work to do. We need to make sure each penny of the $17 billion is spent wisely so we can get through this down-time. Jobs will be lost, salaries will be reduced. Together we can squeeze each penny to its fullest but we need time. See you next year!"





It was also reported that the executives received a handsome holiday bonus along with a new Lexus. One factory worker who found out his salary was cut by a third and holiday bonuses for most were not available was shocked at the news. "I can't believe they didn't get American cars."





About an hour after the flight took off, all GM and Chrysler factories received the following fax from about 32,000 feet.





