“So, it didn’t happen because she’s not his type. That is the sound of a man realizing in midsentence that he’s not talking to Billy Bush.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“If your denial leaves people thinking there is a type of woman you would rape, that’s not a good denial.” — TREVOR NOAH

“But it shows you how out of whack Trump’s priorities are. He’s being accused of rape and his first concern is letting people know what his standards are for women. It’s like you’re accused of murdering someone at a Holiday Inn and your response is, ‘I stay at the Ritz-Carlton!’” — TREVOR NOAH

“That’s not a defense — that’s a confession. It’s like if you ask Hannibal Lecter, ‘Did you eat that guy?’ and he said, ‘No, he looked a little bony.’” — SETH MEYERS