Dear White Belt, I Promise You, We All Suck…

Dear white belt, I promise you, we all suck…

By: Emily Kwok

It’s not uncommon after I finish teaching a class to see a short queue of students waiting to ask a question or express their frustration.

Last week a student stopped me to tell me that they didn’t think they were cut out for BJJ. They felt that no matter how hard they tried, they didn’t ‘get it’, that they still lagged behind other students, that they sucked. They couldn’t execute techniques as quickly as they wanted, they had difficulty knowing what to do all the time, they were constantly stuck in bad positions.

Sound familiar?

It’s not the first time I’ve heard this story and I let them know this. It wasn’t to take away from their own pain and experience, but I wanted them to know they weren’t alone because when we struggle, we often feel like we are the only one who doesn’t ‘get it’. I let them know that we’ve all been there before and that it does get better. Since this student began, their physical fitness and BJJ skill level has improved immensely. They’ve lost a lot of weight and where they couldn’t get through the warm up on day 1, they can now successfully train through an entire intermediate level class with a solid 20-30 min of rolling.

We commonly measure our own progress against those around us vs. against where we began. And it’s difficult, maybe impossible for a white or blue belt to see that those of us who appear to be at the top of the food chain spent many years sucking – a lot. And we still do.

We actually do get better at executing technique the longer we stay in it. I don’t think I’ve ever met a practitioner that doesn’t eventually learn how to handle themselves and their partners after enough practice and patience. And as we get better and move through the ranks, we get battered on both ends; by those who are better than us and by those who are nipping at our heels.

When we get to a level where we can coordinate ourselves enough that we can pick up new technique more efficiently, we then play a game of being a constant white belt – every time we want to elevate our skill set.

In many ways, BJJ is about learning to become comfortable with being uncomfortable. Essentially, how to enjoy sucking, getting better, then enjoy the process of sucking and getting better.

So… dear white belt.

I’ve sucked 1000 x more than you and my rank and ability just show you how long I’ve tolerated being humbled over and over again. Welcome to my club, glad you could join us for the ride.