DARE Graduation Speech - Circa 1995

In 6th grade, I won a contest to speak at my DARE Graduation.

Needless to say, I haven’t lived up to my drug-free promise. Sorry, DARE! You were kinda bullshit, as it were.

That’s why I’m giving you the cold shoulder. I’ve decided to say “no thanks” because studies show that your program has no lasting impact on drug prevention. Now don’t go avoiding the situation or not pay attention to me, DARE - because I’ve realized, thanks to California’s increasingly loose marijuana laws, I’ve got some strength in numbers to back up my argument. So with that, I’m going to walk away from this already drawn out joke and change the subject - dear lord, this video is embarrassing.