Ok, so the title may be a bit misleading. I don't know that I'd go so far as to say that Iseeing my little guy in the throes of misery - crying, kicking, and screaming his frustrations out, all at the same time. Especially if we happen to be in public. Like many parents, I would consider my child having a mega meltdown in a supermarket aisle to be a low point of motherhood. However, I have come to realize that tantrums provide me with unique and often exhilarating opportunities as a mother. I have begun to really cherish them. Let me explain.Parenting a toddler is tough. There are so many conflicting ideas at play. Their lack of understanding of danger and consequence vs. our need to keep them safe; their affinity for exploration vs. our fear of severe injury or property damage; their intense desire to have things their way vs. our desire for the exact same thing. I find it is a constant tug of war, seeing how much rope I can allow him to have before I need to yank him back in my direction. Finding the balance is always a struggle and I often feel like we are stuck in this cycle of battles. Nearly every attempt to play together gets thwarted by something. Sometimes it's his inability to sit for more than a few minutes at a time, other times his unwillingness to actually learn the rules of a game. I'm more than happy to make things up as we go along (and some of our most successful activities are ones that evolve out of nowhere), but it often feels like we aren't having as much fun as we used to.A lot of it has to do with the tantrums. Inevitably, when my son and I are playing together, something will happen to set off a fit. The other day we were just sitting down to play a game of memory when he asked me to a refill his bowl of Cheerios. I told him he could absolutely have more if he ran into the other room and brought me the bowl he had been using. He categorically refused, shrieking and crying that I had to go get it. The hardest part for me is that I am regularly caught off guard. Sometimes I can make a request like this one and he will say "sure, Mommy," and without missing a beat he's off to the other room. It's tough to know when something is about to happen because his reactions are so inconsistent. In this instance, he cried for a while until he decided it was more important to have the Cheerios and he went to get the bowl. The point, however, is that it is not uncommon for things like this to derail our fun time together.The question is, how can I get us past the tantrums and back to a place where we can have some fun? I started thinking about these tantrums and the most effective ways to help him through them. What I have come to understand over the months is that my son (and I recognize this is not something that will work for everyone) responds incredibly well to being distracted. The sillier the distraction, the more successful it tends to be. I've begun getting completely ridiculous with my son whenever he gets into an irrational place. And you know what has happened? We've started laughingWe don't need to get past the tantrum so we can get back to having fun because getting past the tantrum is fun in itself.I suddenly find myself in a constant state of creativity. How can I make this child happy again? I pull from songs and books and movies he loves. I sing lyrics incorrectly, I mix up characters and family members, I quote books with absurd accents. These tantrums have presented me with a chance to regularly challenge myself to connect with him. They send him to a place where he is irrational and unreachable and I have the tools to bring him back. The emotions of a 3-year-old are so fluid, he can go from misery to giggly in a matter of moments.Toddler tantrums have the ability to send us spiraling into a bad place. They are loud and often ridiculous and incredibly frustrating. My knee-jerk reaction was (and still is) to get angry, but I've learned that it mostly just escalates things (doesn't anger always?). One day I do hope that the tantrums subside, but for now, while this behavior is age-appropriate and expected, I'm enjoying the fun it's afforded us.