Let's NOT talk about sex, Mom.

Few things make most people more squeamish than talking about sex with their parents or their kids. It's common comedy fodder to explore the horrors of parental sexual activity. Whether it's walking in on some hot, geriatric love-making, or finding out at airport security that grandma travels with a vibrator, people really don't like to think about family members doing the deed.



As parents ourselves, the only thing worse than walking in on Mom and Dad is the thought of having a sick or pregnant child. Generally speaking, people would prefer their children steer clear of unwanted pregnancy and STIs. So why is it so hard to talk to our kids about sex? Chalk it up to latent conservatism and puritanical religious values, but most of us would rather not think about it. But, like it or not, its actually really important you're prepared for when and how to talk to your kids about sex.

Why is it important to talk to kids about sex?

Obviously there are the major impacts of pregnancy of sexual health. That's probably the first thing that comes to mind. Whether you believe in abstinence or responsible sex education, you're probably in agreement that you don't want your kids pregnant or getting someone else pregnant. It's probably a good idea for your kids to understand what exactly leads to pregnancy long before puberty. Kids are smart. Kids are exposed to the big bad world earlier than we think, and they're going to learn from someone, if not from their parents. Wouldn't you like to have that first chance at shaping their values to match your own?



Children are their own people. They're not just miniature versions of us. They're unique versions of us, and we're their primary resource for knowledge and judgment. I'll never forget seeing a condom in the park when I was about ten. I didn't know what it was, and my friend laughed at me. "That's what girls put in their pussies so they don't get pregnant," he eagerly explained. I went straight home and asked my mother about it. Thank god she set me straight on the mechanics of the whole ordeal, at the very least. As a devout Catholic, she didn't believe in condoms or premarital sex, but she did believe in her son not repeating asinine misinformation. We have a responsibility as parents to arm our children with as much information as possible, to prepare them for the cruel, hard world. We also have the responsibility of curating that information to so they're learning appropriately to their age.

What about sexual abuse?

While pregnancy and STIs are the first things to come to mind, there's another implication to early sex education: abuse. Lots of children are victims of sexual abuse - probably way more than you realize. It's a really scary thing for parents and we rarely associate it with education - or lack thereof. Sexual predators will happily exploit the naivety and innocence of children. We're taught to trust grown ups - especially teachers and coaches. When there's implied trust that comes with a title, it's easier to accept what that person is telling you is ok. Teaching children about sex is also teaching them about boundaries and inappropriate touch. Victims of sexual abuse rarely lie about it. ALWAYS listen to a child who describes suspicious contact with anyone.

Listen!

Join us for a fun and VERY important conversation with Certified Child and Adolescent Counselor, Kari Weiler. Kari is an excellent resource for all things sex and parenting and parents talking about sex. She will make you feel better about having the conversation with your own children and will probably raise some concerns that you hadn't considered.



Contact Kari here for more information.