DEAR DEIDRE: MY wife had an affair while I was wrapped up in my work.

Now she’s pregnant and wants me to take on the child as my own. That’s a big ask.

1 Should I take the whole family with me or divorce her and just take my boys? Credit: Getty - Contributor

I’m 41 and she’s 36. We have sons aged seven and nine.

I’m trying to stay calm and do the right thing.

I have been offered a lucrative job in the US. Should I take the whole family with me or divorce her and just take my boys?

The new baby’s dad is not a nice guy and says he won’t give permission for his child to leave the country.

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DEIDRE SAYS: The key is whether you and your wife can rebuild your “old marriage”. She was wrong to cheat on you but maybe she felt she came a long way down your list of priorities.

My e-leaflet Cheating – Can Your Get Over It? will help. But a move to the States could put extra stress on you both while also uprooting the children.

On the other hand, it could offer a fresh start.

If the biological dad threatens to go to court to block your wife taking the baby, talk over the legal complexities with Child Law Advice (childlawadvice.org.uk, 0300 330 5480).

Get in touch with Deidre today Got a problem? Send an email to problems@deardeidre.org. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays. You can also send a private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page. Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre.