I recently shared 50 observations from paternity leave. Now that we have had our second child there are many new things to report.

1. Our second child (Boden) creates the same issues as the first (Cooper). We have so much stuff everywhere. It’s just ridiculous.

2. Everyone I know continually asks this question, “how you are sleeping?” I have yet to come up with a safe sarcastic response.

3. Once you hold your newborn child in your arms, your second child instantly becomes HUGE. It’s freaking weird.

4. And when your once do-no-wrong 1st child gets around your newborn you instantly start thinking terrible thoughts of what that child could do your baby. Creepy.

5. That insane screaming that occurred with your first child, you know, like when your wife is changing him, and you run over to help asking things like:

a. What do you need?

b. Do you want me to take that diaper for you?

c. Should I hold his arms?

d. I’m only here if he squirms away from you. Okay?

Baby #2 sounds more like this:

a. Hey honey, you want a coffee?

or

b. Where is Cooper? Oh, there he is, outside on the swing set all by himself.

NOTE: the screaming is like soothing ambient noise.

6. Leaving the house with one, after a while becomes easy. Leaving with two has become a chore. Thank god it’s summer and not winter. THANK GOD.

7. Changing a newborn’s diaper scared me at first. To avoid the duty all together I came up with a plan, I quickly changed my tune about asking Cooper who he wants to change him and I now volunteer myself, adamantly.

8. The “zone defense” we used to run is now “man to man.” At times, it’s a two on one, where one of us is outnumbered. This new dynamic really changes how I view their nap time.

9. For those that have read my old posts, my stroller game is on point. Our double stroller is money; however, I almost had a meltdown in my driveway yesterday when I struggled to fit it in the trunk of our car.

10. Last but not least, buying two sets of diapers is painful.