Author's Note: Hello and welcome, one and all, to this, a very special entry in the Diary of Glynda Goodwitch! Special in that this marks the first of our four-part 100th Entry SPECTACULAR! Ehem… perhaps that was too much pomp and circumstance… the thought occurs that all these sparklers won't add much to the effect as you read this… Really probably shouldn't have bought them… Aaaanyway, this entry contains approximately the exact same amount of refusal to acknowledge responsibility as usual! Oh, and zombies… Enjoy~

Entry # 97: Age 17

Dear Diary,

You find me, Mr. Diary, in something of a predicament today – although I suppose that in itself is a fairly frequent occurrence… Whatever… Today's unique crisis is on an altogether different order than previous ones though, as the student council presently finds itself beset with the task of suppressing the consequences of a series of misguided deeds performed by categorically desperate (in the extremely pathetic, rather than sympathetic sense of the word, let me be clear) individuals which have resulted in something of a quandary for us in the student administration… Heaven forbid any of the school's faculty should bester themselves to lift a finger to resolve this problem, but I suppose I digress…

Wouldn't want Ozpin-sensei to think I can't handle things on my own now, would I?

Ah, but I suppose that I'm getting ahead of myself aren't I? Perhaps it might be useful for the mercurial entity vaguely understood as 'posterity' – not that any of them have any business reading this anyway – to discuss the root of the problem. You see, It all goes back to the Occult Research Society's recent little 'civil war' – no, no, I guess it rather obliquely ties back to that gallon of love potion getting mixed into the hot chocolate after the Snowpocalypse (which incidentally was not my fault in the LEAST!) – although come to think of it, really this wouldn't have gotten all out of proportion if it weren't for that first-year Emerald from Signal who was only hanging around here because of the invasion of Signal so… I've got it! This is all ALEXANDER'S FAULT! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Ehem… Sorry… Was the maniacal laughter a bit over the top? I just get excited sometimes when I contrive a means to blame – I mean learn that – someone else is to blame for my problems… It's such a liberating feeling…

But anyway… the problem. Well, the 'Oh-Neo-Sama' faction of the Occult Research Society – for reasons that I should think I've covered a sufficient number of times – decided to give it one more go to impress their 'Sempai' by attempting to summon a legion of undead minions to serve her as 'tribute,' thinking that maybe then she would join their club and possibly date them (though I'm in doubt as to the veracity of that last part, in the first place because Neo's much too pretty for any of them, and in the second, carrying on a seven way relationship seems unduly complicated unless the members of the ORS just wanted to offer themselves as a harem…). You following so far? Good. That on its own wasn't enough to touch off the current crisis though – no, in addition to the Occult Research Society, that Emerald girl – for reasons presumably linked to the love potion-spiked hot chocolate she drank (which I reiterate was obviously ALEXANDER'S FAULT AND NOT MINE!) – had been in the vicinity praying at her 'Cinder-Sempai' stalker shrine (incidentally, I know I can't be the only one who finds that just a little bit creepy – and shut up! those cheesecake photo albums of almost everyone I know that I hide in the back of my closet are completely DIFFERENT!) to both Oh-Mikuru-Sama (so that she could be more adorable, I assume) AND Oh-Yuno-Sama (presumably just in case moe failed her…). Finally – fatally – CINDER – for reasons best known to herself – decided to incinerate every east/west facing wall on the third floor of the East wing… Frankly, I don't know if it was supposed to be symbolic of something (though I seriously doubt it it – this is Cinder we're talking about…) or if it was just for a lark, but it does strike me as an oddly specific rash of vandalism – Seriously! All the north/south facing walls were pristine!

Ah, but I suppose I'm getting off-topic… The relevant consequence of Cinder's wanton destruction of property was that the divine energies from Emerald's little 'prayer session' (incidentally, I KNEW the Signal Push-Up program was a bad idea!) and the unholy energies from the Occult Research Society's unwholesome ritual got mixed, thanks to having the walls abruptly being removed (drywall is apparently a surprisingly good magical insulator…) consequently turning everyone on the third floor of the East wing – Cinder, Emerald, and the Neo-Worshiping members of the ORS included – into zombies… Eeeeyep… Zombies… Not just any zombies though – no… that would have been too EASY… They were all turned into magically chibified moeblob zombies…

Presently puzzling over how one manages to mix amateur necromancy with moe…

Glynda

P.S. Fortunately we've managed to contain the threat on the upper floors of the East Wing for now – and even cutesy-moe-zombie Emerald seems content to give cutesy-moe-zombie Cinder a hug, rather than say… eat brains… I think we should be okay until we can figure this out…