Finding The Right Track

Why I Don’t Have to Force Myself Down a Neurotypical Road to Succeed With ADHD

Photo by Mika Matin on Unsplash

If you were driving through town and suddenly decided that the railroad track offered you a better path to your destination, would you keep going along the planned route or hop onto the track designated for a completely different type of vehicle? You stay on the road of course. If you swerve over you could damage your vehicle, meet with a train in a bad way, or possibly find yourself in jail for reckless driving.

Trains are awesome, but if you aren’t a train, and you aren’t riding in a train stay off the track.

Are You On The Right Road?

I am not an expert, but I am really making an effort to understand my own inattentive ADHD brain. To me, it seems that my brain is more of a train than a car or other traditional vehicle. Success is possible for people with ADHDers, but those who have the most success are the ones that get off the highway and drive on the train track and find their own unique path.

Make a train drive down the highway and it will wobble and stall. The conductor will become confused and frustrated. They will get discouraged, frustrated and depressed because they look around and see all the other vehicles that seem to be moving around just fine. “Why isn’t this working!” They might exclaim.

The answer is simple, of course. They need to get back on their own track. On their own track, they chug right along for the most part. They might hit an occasional snag or delay. Most of the transportation budget goes towards the regular roads, but they have a better shot.

Society Wants To Put ADHDers on The Same Road and it Hurts Everyone

I have inattentive type ADHD. I was diagnosed nearly six years ago, and even while in treatment a part of me wanted to deny it. I wanted to find a way to fit into the neurotypical world, to form expectations for myself that coincided with what normal people did. A couple of things I understood, like how minimalism is probably a better fit for me than materialism — although I am far from a model minimalist. I thought my aversion to being around too many people was social anxiety, and as I study inattentive ADHD closer I see it is a glowing characteristic. Crying spells of trivial things has a name, Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria, and it is common for ADHDers. Trying to force ADHDers to function in a way that directly opposes their own brains creates anxiety, low self-esteem, depression, and likely a slew of physical health problems as well. Aren’t we all better off when everyone is allowed to shine?

A lot of people don’t “believe” in ADHD, and sometimes it is even harder to convince others of your ADHD when it is inattentive. Before anyone even opens their mouth your hear, “aren’t you supposed to be hyper or something?”

As a whole ADHDers are capable, intelligent, creative and compassionate people. But we aren’t neurotypical. We are more like trains than cars. We need to ride on a different track in order to succeed. I have downplayed my condition to a lot of people because I didn’t want the controversy. I didn’t want the debate. I didn’t want anyone to challenge my validation. But by owning it and accepting and perhaps being a little bit obnoxious about it, I do feel better. It’s time for me to stay off that neurotypical road and find one that works for me.