How many narcissists does it take to change a light bulb?

(a) Just one -- but he has to wait for the whole world to revolve around him.

(b) None at all -- he hires menials for work that's beneath him.

[For general discussion of cognition, affectivity, interpersonal functioning, and impulse control in personality disorders and NPD. It's also interesting to compare these traits below with characteristics of normal six-year-olds.]

contradict themselves

cruelty

lack a mature conscience

envious and competitive

contemptuous

extremely sensitive to personal criticism

extremely critical of other people

And they criticize, gripe, and complain about almost everything and almost everyone almost all the time.

passive

naive

grandiose

religious

little sense of humor

weird sense of time

totally and inflexibly authoritarian

strange work habits

feel entitled

stingy, mean, frugal, niggardly to the point of eccentricity

unusual eating habits

very disappointing as gift-givers

It's very hard to have a simple, uncomplicated good time with a narcissist

flirtatious, and seductive

Appearances are all there is with narcissists

secretive or perhaps unusually reserved or very jealous of their privacy

they don't recognize their own feelings as their own

negative, pessimistic, cynical, or gloomy

impulsive

hate to live alone