Movie 11: 12 Creatures Features (Feature 1: Horrors of Spider Island)

I bought this 12 film boxset for two reasons. First of all it was only $5 and secondly I wanted to own The Crater Lake Monster which I remembered being one of the worst movies I’d ever seen when I was a kid. I’ll get into that a little more later on when I finally reach that Creature Feature however.

Horrors of Spider Island is most fondly remembered for appearing on Mystery Science Theater 3000. It’s part of the ever popular Nudie Cutie/Horror combos. Short version being that this film was an excuse to see some gorgeous german women wearing next to nothing. The rest of the plot falls to the side. But I’ll try my best to summarize.

Gary runs an agency. One day while flying a bunch of models their plane crashes in the ocean (killing everyone but Gary and his models). Eventually they reach the titular spider island and find a cabin in the woods.

Inside the cabin is a giant spider web with dead body in it. No one is overly bothered by this and decide to move in and not worry so much about whatever monsterous spider killed the previous inhabitant. Gary is then attacked by a Spider Puppet (who is cute for an evil spider puppet). There’s a pretty awesome Ed Wood style fight scene between Gary and the Spider which leads to Gary being bit and killing the spider.

The spider bit turns Gary into a werewolf/spider-beast hybrid creature. GarySpider kills a girl or two and then everyone is saved. Really it doesn’t matter this movie was not made for story.

Even with the short running time (75 minutes) the film feels like an eternity at times. There are some fun moments (I think Gary vs. The Spider will have to be on next years Halloween Mega-Mash) but the shitty transfer and constant nothing that happens in this movie just makes it more of a chore than an enjoyable experience.