It was another year of living stupidly.

An annus non gratis that should be kicked in the gluteus maximus.

Crime and punishment and punishment that didn’t fit the crime. Cops and crooks and cops that were crooks. Felonies committed on video and felonies committed with video in washroom stalls and changing rooms — do-it-yourself porn starring the unaware.

We had sex on the brain and sex online — hacked.

Uber wars, the war on cars, gender wars, gender-pronoun wars and political correctness that took humour hostage.

And the war on Raccoon Nation, of course. (They’re winning.)

Pols were their usual mendacious selves, institutions swaddled in bureaucracy, officialdom suffused with beadledom and beadle-dumber.

Not a year that made anyone proud, those of us who survived it and too many didn’t — 69 homicides in the city as of this writing, a 24.1-per-cent bump-off bump over 2015.

On the last day of 2016 — and not a moment too soon it is — here’s one last look-back at the year that was in Toronto and hereabouts: Folly, farce and the farside of life at the centre of the universe.

I’m still cuter: Prime Minister Justin Trudeau releases official photos of himself with baby giant pandas at Toronto zoo.

What de-frock? United Church review committee recommends removal of controversial Scarborough minister who defines herself an atheist.

Pocket of turbulence: Two women whose “obnoxious and unruly behaviour” — smoking and guzzling duty-free booze — forced a Cuba-bound flight to return to Toronto under military escort are given a conditional discharge, ordered to pay $500 each and $7,500 in restitution.

Hic Transit Gloria: A delayed Air Transat flight from Glasgow lands in Toronto after two pilots charged with being “impaired through alcohol” ahead of flight.

Pussy whipped: A Durham Regional police officer is accused of discreditable conduct for removing a distressed kitten from the home of a pet owner allegedly stoned on crystal meth.

Crouching Tiger, Hidden Camera: Concealed video camera allegedly captures Bomanville Zoo owner explaining use of whip to teach tigers show to perform. “I can throw out a lash whip and I can have it caress the animal or I can carve my initials in their side.”

Rack of limb? Woman champs down on the arm of a restaurant employee after refusing to pay her tab.

Grey-collared crime: Surveillance video captures a man breaking into a downtown real estate office, breaking several windows and pouring cans of grey paint throughout the property.

You’re gonna Poke your eye out:Pokemon Go players come under fire from a pellet gun near one of Newmarket’s Pokestops.

Immortal remains: Infamous video of Rob Ford smoking crack cocaine is finally released publicly.

Tunnel vision: A man walks along Union Station subway tracks to shoot video making fun of Pokemon Go players.

Tag team fugitives: Month-long search for two capybaras that escaped from the High Park zoo costs the city $15,000.

Ex marks the spot: The CNE shuts down Youth Day after a series of fights involving teenagers causes “sheer chaos” on the midway.

Queer schmear: Black Lives Matter stalls Gay Pride Parade with a sit-in on the street.

Blankety-blank pages: Doug Ford summons media to tub-thump new book written with late brother Rob Ford, threatening to name names and promising revenge on reporters. Not.

Garden tool: Naked man takes a bath using hose, steals tomatoes from a residential backyard in The Junction.

I-guana-go-home: WestJet flight from Cuba is grounded in Toronto after customs determines there were loose iguanas on board.

Nuit scrawler strikes again: Iconic neon TORONTO sign is vandalized during Nuit Blanche.

He said She said Zie said: Students demand U of T take action over “transphobic” comments by psychology professor Jordan Peterson on lectures he posted to YouTube about refusing to use gender-neutral pronouns.

Doofus said: Court of Appeal quashes a sexual-assault conviction after trial jury foreman makes homophobic jokes about the case on Toronto shock-jock radio show.

They have copy editors? Postmedia sports copy editor charged with mischief after allegedly tossing a beer can at Baltimore outfielder Hyun Soo Kim during wildcard game.

Up your Chief Wazoo: Ontario Superior Court judge rules that Cleveland Indians can use team name and logo just hours before Jays face the club in playoff game at Rogers Centre.

Diva dividend: Mariah Carey purportedly receives a million bucks to perform at new Saks flagship store for unveiling of its holiday display windows.

Big bad woof: Dog-walking van carrying 16 pooches is stolen near Fort York.

Minor setback: OPP pull over swerving car on Highway 400 driven by 11-year-old boy playing Grand Theft Auto with his parent’s vehicle.

True Grit: Liberal MPP Bob Delany sics police on the mother of an autistic child protesting at his constituency office.

Muzzle-tuff: A man who taped a dog’s muzzle shut, bound its legs and left it to die in a field is sentenced to two years in federal penitentiary.

Public transient: A raccoon rides on Toronto subway system, peeking into women’s bags and sniffing feet of fellow commuters.

Vapid transit: TTC guard is fired after subway crosses Bloor Street Viaduct bridge with its doors open.

Armed with Bazookas: Man steals $1,528 worth of chewing gum from a Markham pharmacy, escapes in a taxi.

Manchurian PhD Candidates: U of T orders 10,000 Chinese restaurant menus for food studies scholars.

Slim Shady: City approves chopping down 41 trees at a Scarborough golf club.

Off-the-mark: York U apologizes for accidentally sending acceptance notices to 500 applicants before looking at their grades.

Father, son and the wholly gross: Justin Bieber is flayed by PETA after posing with a Bengal tiger — borrowed from the Bowmanville Zoo — at his dad’s engagement party.

Osama bin Laddie: Six-year-old boy appears on a travel security risk list when child and father check in at Toronto airport for flight to Boston.

%$#&! U: Laurentian University professor is removed from his class after requesting students sign contract agreeing to his use of vulgar language.

Spin the bottles: Police on the trail of a man who filled vodka bottles with water and returned them for refund at LCBO locations from Hamilton to Scarborough.

Semantic pedantic: Life coach and “emotional wellness’’ author launches online petition to change name of SickKids because the name is upsetting.

Hide-bound: Vegans lobby Ontario Human Rights Commission to be protected from discrimination such as being asked by employers to wear uniforms that contain leather or being made to prepare meat at restaurants.

Hive got a bee in my bonnet: Councillor Michelle Holland wants Toronto declared Canada’s first “Bee City” committed to “creating sustainable pollinator habitats.”

Blow this joint: Princess Margaret Cancer Foundation pulls a prize house from its home lottery after discovering that a neighbour has a license to grow marijuana and the area reeks of pot.

Whole lotto head-shakin’ going on: Niagara Falls man pleads guilty to lottery fraud after he tried to cheat his regular prize-playing group out of a $7-million win.

Kaffiyeh-esque Philanthropist: Paul Bronfman pulls funding of York University Media Arts program over “anti-Israel” mural at the Student Centre. “It made me sick to my stomach and very angry.”

Smack-down: Four Toronto cops are charged with 17 offences — nine counts of obstructing justice and eight counts of perjury — arising from the arrest of a man found with allegedly planted heroin in his car.

Rocking. Chair. Sting plays halftime show at NBA All-Star game in Toronto, much to the dismay of anyone under age 60.

Fixer-upper: Conrad Black puts his ancestral mansion in Toronto exclusive Bridle Path enclave up for auction at $21.8 million.

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6ixer upper: Drake applies for zoning exemptions to build 21,000-square-foot mansion in Bridle Path area.

“C” ya!: Leafs trade captain Dion Phaneuf to rival Ottawa Senators.

Wanky panky? Premier Kathleen Wynne, appearing at Jarvis Collegiate with social science students running an experiment involving dish soap, is captured in photo op standing in front of a “pink blob” with an amazing resemblance to a penis.

Hypo-chondriacs: Critics displeased with plans to make Toronto the second city in Canada (after Vancouver) to open controversial supervised injection sites for drug users.

Frank-incensed: Mass outrage over what to put on their hotdogs and fries forces Loblaws to reverse its plan to stop stocking French’s ketchup.

Double-double trouble: A 31-year-old man is arrested after allegedly hijacking a TTC bus with a knife and forcing the driver to take him to a Tim Horton’s.

Body and sole: Lead singer of pop-punk band The Story So Far jump-kicks female fan for taking a selfie during the band’s show at the Mod Club.

World’s most expensive chew toys: War On Raccoon Nation begins with rolling out of raccoon-resistant green bins, costing the city $31 million.

This Bud’s for you: Six. Eight. Five. Thirteen. That randomly assigned sequence of numbers lands Maple Leafs with No. 1 pick in draft lottery — Auston Matthews.

T-urban reliance on race relations: Mississauga Sikh is found not guilty of driving with excessive blood alcohol after judge found police violated his rights by withholding his turban for more than three hours.

Contra-ban: Ontario government turns down Toronto city council’s request to ban texting and walking while crossing the street.

Artificial intelligence: Fake funeral home puts up billboards encouraging motorists to “text and drive”.

Suspension of disbelief: Company floats multimillion-sdollar plan for Don Valley gondola service.

Port ’o potty: “Crap bubble” — a brown spot spanning 15 metres — possibly emanating from faulty waste water treatment plant is spotted in water just of Toronto shoreline.

Stiffed: TTC announced probe of a benefits scam by more than 600 employees who allegedly submitted health-care claims including drugs for erectile dysfunction.

Cityman’s holiday: City of Toronto employee claims jury duty for “44 unaccounted days while the court was on recess.”

Spit decision: Councillor Joe Mihevc, chair of the board of health, calls for Toronto to ban chewing tobacco from professional and amateur sporting facilities.

Caught in the cross-hairs: A young man is charged in a rash of church break-ins after cops nab him carrying a burglary tools and a crucifix.

She wasn’t in her cups: Judge dismisses impaired driving charge against a woman forced by police to remove her bra while detained in jail cell.

One for the road: Traffic comes to a halt while a heartbroken, screeching raccoon tries to wake up its dead friend in the middle of the street.

Mad hatter: A woman jumps into the Sumatran tiger enclosure at Toronto Zoo to retrieve her chapeau.

Puparazzi: Four men, one armed with a shotgun, snatch a puppy put up for sale on Kijiji.

Chili reception: As a final line of defence, city officials advise Toronto residents to slather hot sauce on those new garbage bins that apparently haven’t discouraged ransacking raccoons.

Safes ‘n’ sorry: Educators apologize after flavoured condoms and vagina-shaped lollipops are handed out to students as young as 13 at a youth fair.

Aural gratification: A fight among fans at a Eagles of Death Metal concert at the Opera House results in one man having his ear bitten off.

Womb with a multiple view: Several parents complain they got the same sonogram photo of unborn babies from BabyView 3D Prenatal Imaging.

Peeping John: Man uses cellphone to take photos underneath the bathroom stalls at a Queen St. business.

Bong the drum slowly: Pro-pot faction smoking hot over sweep of illegal marijuana dispensaries by cops and bylaw officers.

For whom the tolls bell: Mayor John Tory pulls u-ie and pushes toll roads through council.

Peek-a-loo: Toronto man charged after using cellphone on a backpack hanging on a hook to film woman changing inside a washroom at her workplace.

Film-flam-man: A lawyer and former managing editor of the Osgoode Hall Law Journal is charged with using a hidden camera to record up women’s skirts at the CNE.

Keeping up with the Joneses: Auditor-general’s report discloses that city employees filed $1.9 million in benefit claims for erectile dysfunction medication.

The big bang theory: Thirteen live grenades are found by cops during a drug-raid of an east-end house.

When the Shih Tzu flies: Charlie, a four-year-old Shih Tzu, is dognapped at knifepoint while being walked by its owner in a North York park.

When the (see above) flies: Charges are dropped against two men accused of lobbing 22 piles of feces into backyard of house next door in ongoing feud between neighbours over construction of a fence.

Riri & Roti to-go: Drake and Rihana shoot music video at The Real Jerk.

Pole position: The Zanzibar is stripped of its NBA party posters by league representatives in advance of All-Star game.

Feckless in Toronto: T.O.-based parent company of infidelity dating site Ashley Madison reaches $1.6-million settlement over massive security breach of client information.

Brown bagging it: Police on the lookout for a “preppy punk’’ who seems to spend his lunch-hour robbing banks, five of them across Toronto in under a month.

And a happy new year: Police distribute bells to senior citizens, to be attached to their wallets as pickpocket prevention during the Christmas season.

Correction - January 16, 2016: This article was edited from a previous version that mistakenly said TTC employees claimed unwarranted jury duty pay.

