I’m convinced that if you watch this episode of “The Flintstones” called “Dino Goes Hollyrock” you have everything you’ll ever need in order to understand Hollywood.

It touches on cosmetic surgery, fake public personas, seeing celebrities when they are “off” and understanding the importance of your real home and where you come from.

Here’s Dino in love with Sassie…

Dino meeting Sassie on the set…

Dino’s reaction to being told his tail is “too big” and needs to be “cut off”…

Sassie showing her real self up…

Including taking off her fake eyelashes…

I bring this up because of last week’s Oscars. I know its last week’s news for whatever reason, my FaceBook feed is STILL full of annoying Oscar stories. For some reason people find it to be almost as important as finding a cure to cancer or a new, habitable planet…

Even then, watching the Oscars is like watching a train-wreck, you don’t really want to watch it but try as hard as you may, you can’t look away either.

To me it reminds me of a really bad version of high school prom or graduation…

Everyone dressed up in all their finery, and on occasion, hitting it out of the ballpark…

And at other times not…

Everyone is full of fake smiles and shiny eyes and air-kissing each other when in reality most of them want to get into a fight with each other . Everyone having to sit down quietly and politely applaud on cue, even for musical numbers you’d rather boo off the stage. I honestly don’t think I could have sat in that auditorium, with a straight face, without cringing especially while Bette Midler was singing “Wind Beneath My Wings”, probably the cheesiest song of all time. (I’m going to spare you and NOT put the video here since I classify it as noise pollution).

However, I do love it when something “off” happens and even for a millisecond, you see people’s true colours flash. Like when the screenshot of squares of all the nominees appear with their faces and you watch them the second the winner is announced, and just for that 1/1000th of a second, you see the bitterness, the rancour and the disappointment before the congratulatory smile appears.

You really can’t hide things for very long, no matter how hard you try.

So I was very happy to see every girl’s current crush, English actor Benedict Cumberbatch photobomb the likes of U2

Here you have, one of the most mythic rock bands U2, all trying to look serious and dignified, sucking in their cheeks, posing with their best angle for the camera and suddenly you have this Tin Tin lookalike Jack-in-the-Box, springing up out of nowhere, just stealing their thunder completely.

To me, it showed that this guy has a very, very keen sense of humour and is able to see through the whole thing completely. He knows it’s a game and he’s not taking himself too seriously while he’s playing it. That makes him instantly cool and very rare in Hollywood terms.

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Dear Tracy Tabernacle, Not only is your baby brother an “old soul” as he was rightly referred to by one of his drama teachers , he’s also a beautiful one. Please help him to keep his feet firmly planted on the ground, his heart in the right place and all the star-dust from getting into his eyes too much.

I’d also like to compare notes on the following with you: You walked away from death 4 times so did I (I’ve only written about 2 of the 4 times). How did you feel each time you did? My first reaction is to get angry. I understand your great-grandfather was consul general in Turkey for Queen Victoria. My grandfather worked directly with all the Governors of Bengal during the 1930s under George V. Incidentally, how did you like teaching English to the Tibetans? I taught English to the Turks for 3 years and loved it. I know you love doing extreme sports, ( so do I , albeit in smaller doses) and enjoy going to rock concerts (I’m usually in the front row at any show involving Radiohead, Depeche Mode or Arcade Fire) so I understand the adrenaline rush-thing from these sorts of activities but how do you balance that need at times particularly in light of the enormous amounts of quiet concentration and study needed when preparing for a role?

Lastly, I’ve never made Banoffee Pie before, which I know is one of your favorites. However, my Strawberry Tiramisu (which I make with shavings of Toblerone chocolate, custard pudding, ladies fingers, Bailey’s Irish Creme and fresh June strawberries of course) has been known to induce mania.

Give me enough notice and I’ll whip up a batch for you.

Cheers Dude!