Let’s break this down: This is Kelley’s first 1-on-1 date. The only time we really saw a fair amount of together time with these two was in Episode 2, when Kelley “won” the airport-themed obstacle course and the hotel where they met oh-so coincidentally hosted a Cocktail Party. In Episode 3, she was on the pillow fight Group Date, where the Cocktail Party would revolve around the Sydney vs Alayah saga. She did get 1-on-1 time at that Cocktail Party. That week’s Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party was the Pool Party, where I’m 99% sure Kelley was one of the 8 women to not get time with him. (Given she wasn’t one of the women who would speak ill of Alayah, it adds up.) In Episode 4, she was on the enormous football Group Date with 12 other women, and where Alayah would return—Alayah and Victoria P would end up monopolizing that Cocktail Party, followed by more of the same with that week’s Rose Ceremony Cocktail Party. In short, in terms of fair time (aka, time she didn’t sneak or steal), Kelley has not really had much time, other than sporadic 10-20 minute time slots, to “progress” this relationship. Remember, this is her FIRST ACTUAL DATE.

Another irksome thing (yes, I’m still going) is Peter’s condescending tone in the above clip. From Kelley’s perspective, she hasn’t had the time. Her perspective is every bit as valid as his, yet he shuts her down as though his is fact and hers isn’t. Further, HE and HIS CHOICES are the reasons why Kelley hasn’t felt comfortable “progressing” things. Of course, we’re starting to gather that Peter associates a woman’s willingness to “steal” him first, or to sneak away to his suite for time as an investment in him, as not being “complacent”. I HATE the way he uses this word; to go with the flow, to him, is to be complacent. Shouldn’t he WANT his relationships to develop naturally and in that go-with-the-flow way, given that’ll establish the most healthy, realistic, and fit-for-real-life relationship as possible? (What if a woman simply prefers a man to do the pursuing? That’s an understandable dating style, but based on Peter’s logic this would make the woman uninterested.) I pointed out last week the difference between showing interest and just being an asshole to your housemates; it does not surprise me in the slightest that Kelley (being wonderful) would resist doing the latter. But while Peter hasn’t really made much of an effort to give Kelley her own time and prioritizing her in any way, he’s putting it on HER for not progressing things. This is yet another example of that ever-present power imbalance, as well as the entitlement I feel Peter possesses as the lead, which I mentioned on Flare last week.

Above all (yup, still going), what I couldn’t stand was Peter’s equating Kelley “just having fun” in this situation to her not being invested in their relationship. NEWSFLASH: The early stages of a relationship SHOULD BE FUN. Just because Kelley’s not fraught with anxiety and crying all the time doesn’t mean she’s not into him. Peter mistakenly correlates the women’s stress levels with jealousy and thus an investment in him, when frankly they have nothing to do with one another—especially in this environment with so many intentional stressors. Further, jealousy is a terrible trait on which to base someone else’s interest in you. We all know those people who get upset when their partners don’t get jealous—that is NOT a healthy, sustainable factor to seek in a relationship. It just means they’re the jealous type, which speaks far more to their insecurity than how serious they are about you.

In case Kelley hadn’t already won me over, she cinched the deal when she said the following…