When I was in college, my best friend Lauren told me something very wise: “All a girl needs to be hot is big boobs and skinny arms. That’s all guys care about.” This statement has stuck with me for the past…actually don’t worry about how long I’ve been out of college lol. I took this passing comment as doctrine, accepted my fate as a not-hot girl and moved on with my not-hot life.

But it recently occurred to me that this statement may not be true. That maybe, for example, not all women with big boobs and skinny arms are hot, and not all women with small boobs and not-exactly-skinny arms are not-hot. So, I compiled images of a wide range of women to determine, once and for all, if my brilliant friend’s philosophy is true. Join me as I embark on this groundbreaking investigation!

Halle Berry

Hot?

Big Boobs: Yes

Skinny Arms: Yes

Guys think she’s hot: Um…YEAH!

Kate Upton

Hot?

Big Boobs: Yes

Skinny Arms: Yes

Guys think she’s hot: Yes!

Kim Kardashian

Hot?

Big Boobs: Yes

Skinny Arms: Yes

Guys think she’s hot: Holy shit YES!

Eva Mendes

Hot?

Big Boobs: Yes

Skinny Arms: Yes

Guys think she’s hot: Are you fucking kidding me??? YES!!!

Chrissy Teigan

Hot?

Big Boobs: Yes

Skinny Arms: Yes

Guys think she’s hot: Yeah, OBVIOUSLY!

Susan Sarandon

Hot?

Big Boobs: Yes

Skinny Arms: Yes

Guys think she’s hot: Forever and always, you idiot!

Beyonce

Hot?

Big Boobs: Yes

Skinny Arms: Yes

Guys think she’s hot: Are you even looking at her??? Of course!

Jennifer Lawrence

Hot?

Big Boobs: Yes

Skinny Arms: Yes

Guys think she’s hot: Yes! Duh!

Adriana Lima

Hot?

Big Boobs: Yes

Skinny Arms: Yes

Guys think she’s hot: Are you blind? Yes, they do!

Me

Hot?

Big Boobs: Um…no

Skinny Arms: I mean, they’re not fat but…no

Guys think she’s hot: I’m honestly offended you would even ask me this question but…no, not really.

Conclusion

There’s no denying facts: Lauren was right. As you can clearly see, all the women pictured above who have big boobs and skinny arms are hot, while the ones with honestly barely existent boobs and not like, chubby but definitely not skinny arms are, at best, cute (on a good day). Case closed!