Treasure Hunt

Benny owns a metal detector. He bought it online with the last of his grandfather’s inheritance money. He is twenty seven and Sammy is three years younger. Sammy is sort of my girlfriend. We all live together over a pizza shop. Everyday smells like pizza.

It was late at night when Sammy found Benny’s metal detector. He was keeping it a secret. He thought we would laugh at him when we found out, which we did. Sammy thought it was really dorky. She always thinks Benny wastes his money on dorky things. Which is true, mostly. The last time he bought something online it ended up being a four foot tall plastic figure of a cartoon woman wearing a g-string and holding a gun. Sammy didn’t even think that was dorky. It just freaked her out.

When we found the metal detector we were all drunk. Sammy made a big show waving it around, touching our crotches with it, and shouting ‘BEEP BEEP BEEP’. Benny tried to tell her she was holding it wrong and that it was very fragile. Sammy made us promise that the next day we would leave early, head for the ocean, and search for gold. We agreed. Sammy usually got her way.

The next day we took the metal detector and our hangovers and loaded them up in Benny’s old pickup truck. We ate Twinkies and Snow Balls when we stopped by a gas station, which made our headaches feel a little better. Sammy was wearing her pajamas and Benny had an old pair of shorts on. Benny’s chubby arms were nearly the size of Sammy’s thin thighs. We were all surprisingly pale. Sammy slept until we arrived at the beach. It took two hours to get there and we both woke up Sammy by tickling her all over.

Benny unloaded the metal detector and a huge shovel from the truck while I gave Sammy piggyback rides through the seagulls. We watched as Benny flicked on the clunky machine. It made a funny squeaky sound like an old sci-fi movie laser gun. Sammy said the machine was a piece of crap and probably wouldn’t work. Benny agreed.

Benny gave me the shovel but Sammy was the one that wanted to carry it. She could barely lift it up over her shoulder with two hands.

“What if we find a dead body? I feel like that happens a lot with these things,” Sammy asked me secretly while Benny was calibrating the machine.

“I don’t think it detects those things. I think at most we may find some gold, or an old pirate ship anchor, which could also be made out of gold, I guess,” I replied.

“Shut up. Loser,” Sammy pinched my cheek and we set off toward the sea.

O

After thirty minutes of walking around the beach we took a rest. The machine hadn’t beeped even once the entire time. Benny set the metal detector down gently on an abandoned beach towel and removed three cigarettes from his shorts. He put them in his mouth and lit all three, then passed them to me and Sammy. We sat down with him.

“Is this a nude beach?” Sammy asked.

“No,” Benny puffed out.

“I wish it was a nude beach.”

“Yeah. Me too.”

When we were done resting we got up and searched some more. Benny didn’t say anything at all and kept his eyes welded to the rocky sand below. Sammy and I took turns chasing after each other with the shovel. I found a long string of seaweed with a huge balloon shaped float on top. I swung it like a mace and slapped Sammy’s ass. We both laughed.

After a while we started getting hungry. Sammy had sandwiches in her fanny pack that she made while drunk the night before. They were peanut butter and jelly, only she mixed up the jelly with chilly sauce. We ate them anyways. Benny said they tasted like crap. We all agreed.

The sun started going down when the metal detector finally started buzzing. It sounded like a broken alarm clock. A garbled electronic voice beeped 'Dig Here!’ but it sounded more like 'Free Beer!’. Sammy freaked out and started digging. Benny got out of the way.

“I told you it worked.” Benny sighed as he let his fat ass flop on the sand. Sammy got a splinter while digging so I took over. She sat down next to Benny and asked him to take it out for her. He tried, but only made it worse.

Eventually I hit something hard. It sounded just like you would imagine, like from a pirate movie. I hit it a few more times just to hear the sound again. The more I heard the sound, the more it sounded completely unlike the sound from the movie. It was now a new sound, separate from what I wanted it to sound like.

“Just lift it up already!” Sammy squealed. The three of us gathered around the shallow hole and dusted off the sand. The object underneath looked like a heavy armoire made out of some kind of fancy wood. We cleared off enough sand to reveal two knobs that looked like two metal tennis balls. Together we pulled and pulled and finally lifted the doors open. Inside there were bodies covered in sea snails and kelp.

“I told you we would find a dead body!” Sammy tried to shout but her voice cracked and came out as a whisper. I scanned the beach to see if anyone was watching. There was a kid making a sand castle in the distance. Benny started wiping off the bodies.

“Don’t touch them! We might get in trouble! You know, with the police,” Sammy yanked on his shoulders. We all froze when Benny uncovered the faces. Under the kelp were two bodies that looked exactly like Benny and Sammy. Their eyes were closed, but they were smiling. The clothes on their bodies were the same as what they had on. All in all they were perfect replicas. Sammy’s yellow hair was covered in slime and Benny’s mustache was home to a slow moving sea snail.

“Where are you?” Sammy asked me. “Why aren’t you in there?”

“Are these bodies our bodies? Are we ghosts?” Benny shook his body’s shoulders and put his head up close to his body’s mouth.

“Let’s ask that kid over there,” Sammy was trembling and she shouted for the boy making the sand castle. I didn’t know what to say to Benny as he shook the bodies. The child walked over to us and stared down at the bodies, then back up at Benny and Sammy.

“Are we ghosts? Can you see us?” Sammy asked the kid.

“I can see you fine,” the kid said.

“Good,” Benny said.

“Great,” Sammy said.

O

In the end we decided to leave the bodies in the sand. Benny closed the doors and we all helped to put sand back on top. We drove home in silence. Benny left the metal detector on the beach. When we got home we had pizza at the shop downstairs. We each ordered a pitcher of beer.

“What were those things?” Sammy was touching her face over and over again.

“Why wasn’t I there?” I asked Benny.

“Don’t worry. It was stupid. The metal detector was broken, remember. It was trash. Someone put those there to freak us out. They were probably made out of plastic, or rubber, or wax,” Benny stopped talking to wipe his mouth and ordered another pitcher.

“That’s right. It was a pretty good joke though, right? You both were going nuts,” I tried to smile.

“Are you serious?” Sammy punched my arm.

“That’s pretty messed up, man,” Benny shook his head.

“Yeah, that kid must have thought you guys were crazy,” I laughed. It felt good to laugh.

“Yeah,” Sammy smiled.

“Some fucking trick,” Benny said and we all laughed. Everyone was feeling better.

That night we got drunk again. We watched baseball and black and white movies and eventually fell asleep together on our futon. A noise from the movie woke me up in the middle of the night and I rose out of the cozy nest of covers. There was popcorn all over the floor.

In the wavy light of the movie I stared at Sammy and Benny. Their eyes were closed and they were wrapped tightly in thick blankets and pillows. The room was freezing. You could feel a heavy layer of chill in the air. I shut the television off and walked outside. I closed the door firmly behind me and locked it twice.