Each spring, hundreds of students throughout campus apply for the coveted Free Housing and Meal Plans Scholarships offered throughout campus by Georgia Tech Housing under the guise of Resident Assistant and Peer Leader position. The highly competitive process culminates with the hiring of several dozen new campus leaders who promptly cease to give a fuck and are never seen at their appointed dorms for the entire year. This morning, however, The Crouton received an anonymous tip that GT Housing had accidentally hired a try-hard who applied for the position because he genuinely wanted to make a difference in the lives of his residents. A Crouton reporter was able to sit down with him this last week.

For purposes of anonymity, the RA in question will be referred to as Try-hard Tom throughout the article:

The Crouton: Good morning Tom, thanks for meeting with us. Let's just jump right into the questions if you don't mind-

Try-Hard Tom: What, without an icebreaker?! No way buddy! First, how about you tell me your name, your year, and a fun fact about yourself!

TC: I'm a Crouton reporter, the publication is less than a year old, and no experience I've had before this has made me regret my entire life as much as this one. Now that that bullshit is out of the way, let’s see if we can understand this correctly - you genuinely enjoy the tasks of an RA?

THT: Yeah man, this is my life’s ambition. Building communities and enforcing the rules and helping my peers be the best Tech students they can be - that's what I was made for.

TC: So...all those asinine activities you're required to come up with twice a month to satisfy the requirements for your housing stipend...you don't hate yourself after spending a month planning for them and then hosting a total of three students?

THT: Hey man, it's not about numbers, it's about quality. I love reserving the entire activities room for a “Decorate Your Own Coffee Mug Night” that two out of my 60 residents will attend. We build such a strong sense of community, and I'll definitely keep in touch with these two residents for the rest of my life.

TC: Wow. Ok. I guess I can see how someone might enjoy that if they have mildly psychopathic tendencies. But there’s no way you actually like creating unoriginal door decs right?

THT: Woah there. Unoriginal?! How dare you?! My Mario and Luigi door decs last year blew the socks off those freshmen. And the Minion door decs I put up this year have got all my jaded upperclassmen reminiscing about simpler times.

TC: Dear God, I’m gonna need a minute to process this.

THT: Hey there buddy, if this is tough on you, my door is always open and I’d love to talk wi-

TC: Seriously Tom, just shut the fuck up, people only hang out with you for free pizza.

Our reporter left Try-hard Tom frantically searching his internalized two weeks of housing training for a response, but, unfortunately for Tom, a mediated discussion would not save him from a college career of trying too hard to impress apathetic freshmen.





Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. We have yet to meet an RA that isn't actually in it for the free housing. These views do not reflect those of Georgia Tech or GT Housing (that we know of).