President Donald Trump speaking at a joint news conference with Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe at Mar-a-Lago resort April 18, 2018, in West Palm Beach, Fla. Photo : Joe Readdle ( Getty Images )

I’m beginning to think Donald Trump has a punch card where he gets a stamp toward his white supremacist membership every time he makes an outwardly racist statement.


I have always believed that 74 percent of the “alt-right’s” ire is rooted in their obsession with brown people’s penises. Their fear of black phallus causes them to use the word “cuckold” as a slur. I’m told that Ku Klux Klan marriage vows include the promise to love, respect and forever eschew interracial sex. Orange Juice Stalin even began his political career decrying the mythical Mexican rapists.

But in the wee hours of Wednesday morning, Trump apparently woke up from a nightmare about America being invaded by nonwhite schlongs and decided to go full David Duke.


The president’s tweet about California sanctuary cities’ crime and “breeding concept” had less to do with border security and the use of California’s National Guard than it had to do with white genocide—the theory that white people are victims of a secret plot to eliminate them from the face of the earth by diversity, affirmative action, immigration and being outbred by people of color.

Trump has done this before. In a series of November tweets, he blamed a New York terrorist attack on the Diversity Immigrant Visa Program, a government program that offers entry into the U.S. to people from countries with low immigration totals.


It’s not just me. Several outlets have reported on the implied racism in Trump’s comment. When asked about the racial overtones of the tweet, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen would only say that she couldn’t “speak to a particular meaning,” according to CNN.

I can.

Trump is trying to scare white people. He wants them to believe that the California National Guard is the last line of defense against the Mexican Illuminati’s plan to sneak into our country, steal white people’s wallets and start outfucking the Caucasian population at a breakneck pace.


The Washington Post already reported that the Trump administration’s immigration proposal could postpone the inevitability of a white minority and keep America “great” for at least five years longer than current projections.


I’m here to tell white people they can stop worrying about being whittled down to minority status. After all, if America isn’t a white supremacist country and I’m just playing the race card, then what could possibly be so bad about being a minority?

If there’s any real danger to Americans, it’s a petty, dim-witted president with one hand on the pulse of white supremacy and the other on the nuclear button.


But you know what they say about men with tiny fingers.

You don’t? Neither do I.

I’m black.