Eight passes. In 57 minutes on the pitch together at Goodison Park on Saturday, Morgan Schneiderlin and Wayne Rooney completed a combined eight passes. Jordan Pickford managed ten in 54 minutes, while Phil Jagielka stretched to nine in 48 minutes. Fernandinho strung 12 together in the first ten minutes alone.

If this season has proven anything, it is that there are few ways of stalling Manchester City, never mind stopping them altogether. They have dropped points in just four Premier League games, and have lost the same amount of matches in all competitions. Of their 49 games this season, they have won 39.

One thing is for certain: passivity is not the answer. As Burnley in February, Liverpool in January, Crystal Palace in December and even Everton themselves in August can attest, the only viable response to Pep Guardiola’s side is to fight fire with fire.

Sam Allardyce instead chose to arm himself with a glass of water and hope for the best. Schneiderlin and Rooney had never before started as a central-midfield pairing at Everton yet the manager decided to experiment against the best team in Europe. They were the perfect dummies for a 90-minute training exercise.

This was less a midfield battle, more a midfield massacre. City danced around and through their opponents with consummate ease, with only their own complacency preventing them from adding more goals beyond the 37th minute. By the end of the game, Schneiderlin and Rooney’s respective heatmaps would have looked completely at home in the North Pole.

Morgan Schneiderlin did not complete a single pass against Man City until the 36th minute. — Football365 (@F365) March 31, 2018

A chocolate teapot. An ashtray on a motorbike. An inflatable dartboard. A glass hammer. All are of more use than Everton’s central midfield on Saturday, and each would have made more tactical sense. The only man nodding sagely as the line-ups were announced was Louis van Gaal, taking a break from his regular digs at Manchester United to reminisce over their 2015/16 midfield options.

This was Schneiderlin’s first start in central midfield since the similarly ineffective 5-1 defeat to Arsenal in February; he has not started a win in that position in all competitions since December. Rooney has enjoyed much more success there in recent weeks, but the identity of his partner is key. Schneiderlin’s lack of urgency is in direct contrast to Idrissa Gueye’s drive, determination and energy.

“We did as much as we could, tried as much as we could and I think that has been the same for every team bar Liverpool,” Allardyce insisted after the game, but few have offered such little resistance against City as his side did on Saturday, and those who did were widely criticised. He should not expect to avoid the same treatment just because of City’s dominance.

Perhaps the most damning aspect of the central midfield non-performance came in the second half. Beni Baningime and Tom Davies were afforded 16 and 33 minutes respectively, and both completed eight passes: the same tally Schneiderlin and Rooney managed combined in 57 minutes.

Allardyce was right in stating post-match that “with City’s quality they can pass through you”. What he neglected to mention is that Everton barely managed to pass to each other.

Matt Stead