Top Ten Truly Terrible Sailing Jokes

Learning to sail is fun to do and there can also be times when you may get a little anxious. There is no better way to deal with stressful situations than have a laugh! I promise you, you will get to hear the only 3 jokes that Mike can remember (i won’t give them away here… why spoil the fun?) So may I introduce, the best (or worst) sailor, nautical, sailing jokes ever!

Are You Ready for This?

There’s a paddle sale at the boat shop… it’s quite an oar-deal

If you dream of sailing on sweet, fizzy orange waves are you having a fanta-sea?

What do sailors use to blow their nose? Anchor-chiefs.

Making a boat out of stone would be a hardship

The pulpit – where sailors stand to preach to those standing on the dock

How many boaters does it take to change a lightbulb? – None, because the right size bulb isn’t on board, the local marine-supply store doesn’t carry that brand, and the mail-order house has them on back-order.

The wife and I went out sailing one day and there was a load of meat floating about on the water – The sea was a bit choppy

What does Captain Jack Sparrow use to cook? – Pyrex of the Caribbean!

Sailing is the art of slowly moving nowhere at great expense

What did the blown out, ripped jib say? – “I haven’t a clew.”