She pointed to herself as an example. “In my marriage, I have more education and, because he’s retired, more income,” she said. “I picked him not because I needed a meal ticket, but because I liked the fact that he respected me and had no problem sharing the responsibilities of daily life with me. More and more women now are able to make those choices.”

The changing roles in marriage often aren’t what many couples plan, but instead are a reaction to unexpected financial pressures. That’s what happened to Cynthia and Brian Walder of West Springfield, Mass., who had four children in five years. Although her first and second pregnancies were carefully planned, a surprise set of twin boys meant that their day care costs would be prohibitive if both parents kept their jobs. “Someone had to leave their job and stay home,” said Ms. Walder, who is 34.

Her marketing job with an insurance firm provided the family’s health benefits, so about a year ago, Mr. Walder, a 36-year-old real estate broker and consultant, opted to stay home. “It was stressful,” he said. “If you’d asked me five years ago would I be in this spot, I’d say ‘No way.’ ”

While it’s widely believed that a woman’s financial independence increases her risk for divorce, divorce rates in the United States tell a different story: they have fallen as women have made economic gains. The rate peaked at 23 divorces per 1,000 couples in the late 1970s, but has since dropped to fewer than 17 divorces per 1,000 couples. Today, the statistics show that typically, the more economic independence and education a woman gains, the more likely she is to stay married. And in states where fewer wives have paid jobs, divorce rates tend to be higher, according to a 2009 report from the Center for American Progress.

Image Credit... Graham Roumieu

Sociologists and economists say that financially independent women can be more selective in marrying, and they also have more negotiating power within the marriage. But it’s not just women who win. The net result tends to be a marriage that is more fair and equitable to husbands and wives.