Mandatory Credit: Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Otto Porter: 6.3 PPG (41.2 FG%), 2.7 RPG

Otto Porter became the NBA’s laughingstock on Tuesday night. There are no words. How does this happen to anyone, but especially Otto? Otto Porter is a highly competent basketball player who has always seemed to know what he’s doing out there. But… but no.

No, I will not jump on the Shame Otto bandwagon. We all make mistakes. Let he who has not embarrassed himself publicly cast the first stone. Once, not looking where I was going, I walked into a pole outside Nats Park, and that’s far more shameful than zoning out during a basketball game.

And I have believed in Otto Porter when no one else did. I stand by you, Otto. I will follow you to the ends of the earth.

Grade: C

Mandatory Credit: Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Kevin Seraphin: 3.3 PPG (38.5 FG%), 2.0 RPG

#KSLife, where you at? Disappeared again down the Instagram rabbit hole? Maxing and relaxing with domesticated reptiles? He’s not out there getting buckets, that’s for damn sure.

Maybe Seraphin just needs the calming presence of Kris Humphries with him on the second unit, but he’s been more or less ineffective since the All-Star break – he’s only reached double figure points once out of the eight games DC has played.

The longer this goes on, the smaller Seraphin’s price tag may be this offseason, so blessing in disguise?

Grade: D

Mandatory Credit: Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

Drew Gooden: 7.3 PPG (45.0 FG%), 3.0 RPG

It’s March 2015, and Drew Gooden still possesses the ability to do things like this. I gave Drizzle a solid F last week, and he earned it, but all has been forgiven.

When Drew Gooden plays well, it is an absolutely joyous occasion – the end of last season when Gooden was rolling with Uncle Al and Professor Dre was probably the most fun thing that has ever happened. Now, Gooden is the last AARP Unit man standing. And he’s still somehow only 33!

He should be in his mid-fifties right now, easily.

Grade: B

Mandatory Credit: Tom Szczerbowski-USA TODAY Sports

Garrett Temple: 3.0 PPG (60.0 FG%), 1.0 RPG

Bradley Beal is back, but Garrett Temple is still getting minutes – how far have you fallen, Lord Rasual?

Temple isn’t an ideal option for a variety of reasons, but he’s at least kept up his 3-point shooting at a decent rate after his torrid start to the season and subsequent horrid slump. Temple is shooting about 38% from beyond the arc this season overall, well above his career average, and he’s provided some nice jolts of offense from out there in recent games.

Every little bucket is appreciated.

Grade: C+

Mandatory Credit: Brad Mills-USA TODAY Sports

Ramon Sessions: 5.7 PPG (28.6 FG%), 1.7 RPG, 2.0 RPG, 1.0 SPG

Ramon, Ramon, Ramon. The poor guy is snake-bit.

He keeps attacking and attacking, getting good shots, and nothing is falling. What’s the issue here? Does he just lack the ability, as a professional basketball player, to make layups? Has he incurred the wrath of some ancient deity? Is it just pure bad luck?

I’m thinking it’s the latter, but knowing the history of the Washington Wizards, it’s probably the second one. I was there when Gilbert Arenas accidentally desecrated the ancient Ankh of Horus – he tore his ACL the next night. There are greater forces at work here.

Grade: D