Turns out there are a lot of things you have to give up if you want to become one of the highest ranking members in the Catholic Church.

The hope of one day getting married, for example? Goneskis. Being able to swear your mouth off and call people C-bombs with impunity? No can do amigo. Oh and also you should probably stop hosting wild gay orgies with a bunch of dudes in your apartment.

Well looks like SOMEBODY missed the memo on that last one and yes, I’m talking to you, President of the Pontifical Council for Legislative Texts Cardinal Francesco Coccopalmerio!

As first reported in Italian publication ‘Il Fatto Quotidiano‘, (which funnily enough is exactly the nickname I give my penis at gay orgies), and then covered today by The Australian, Coccopalmerio’s apartment was raided by Vatican police last month where they allegedly discovered a bunch of dudes ~partaking in each others’ company~.

Coccopalmerio was reportedly not in attendance, with a close aide taking most of the heat and supposedly losing his chance at being promoted to Bishop in response to the gay-orgy-fiasco, which must suck cause once you get to be one of them, you can move diagonally.

Gay orgies amongst consenting adults are DOPE, I personally have witnessed several of them (via the internet’s video streaming capabilities) and reckon they’re just super, so it’s sad to see The Vatican, normally a beacon for progressive values, denigrating such a natural, human act.

If anyone does find a church that’s pro-gay-orgy however, do let me know, I’ve got some sins I could def repent for/indulge in.

Source: The Australian.

Picture: Alessandra Benedetti / Getty.