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by liberal goobers who signed on with Crazy Uncle Liberty because he made some gobbling noises about drones and war and the useless efforts to battle pot to a standing draw. It was for them that the blog enacted its Five Minute Rule.

If you listen to a Ron Paul fan, or to the man himself, for five minutes, you will agree with everything he says. However, at precisely the 5:00.01 mark of the conversation, they, or he, will say something so completely drawn from the archives of the Planet Zontar that you will find yourself sidling towards the door at an alarming rate.

Herewith today's example.

Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas) said Monday that secession was a "deeply American principle," amid a growing number of people petitioning the White House to let their states secede from the U.S. "Secession is a deeply American principle. This country was born through secession. Some felt it was treasonous to secede from England, but those 'traitors' became our country's greatest patriots," the former presidential candidate wrote in a post on his House website. "There is nothing treasonous or unpatriotic about wanting a federal government that is more responsive to the people it represents."

First of all, no. The country was not born through "secession" as anyone understands the word. The determination of the American colonies to leave the British Empire was not "secession." Secession implies that both sides entered into an voluntary arrangement that one side now chooses to leave. I would have liked to see Crazy Uncle Liberty wander into the Second Continental Congress and explain to delegate Jefferson how the relationship between Great Britain and its American holdings was merely a voluntary association that the Americans wanted to abandon.

Secondly, secession hasn't been a "deeply held American principle" since Pickett's division came staggering back from Cemetery Ridge. Even at the beginning, it was recognized to be the single most perilous notion to the success of the American experiment, as it later proved to be. The country is a union of people, not a voluntary association of individual states. Hence the first three words of the Constitution, which Crazy Uncle Liberty claims to have memorized. And, as Mr. Madison wrote, shortly before he died:

The advice nearest to my heart and deepest in my convictions is that the Union of the States be cherished and perpetuated. Let the open enemy to it be regarded as a Pandora with her box opened; and the disguised one, as the Serpent creeping with his deadly wiles into Paradise.

That's you he's talking about there, Ron.

Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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