I knew that Bhagwan would have to publicly destroy me to maintain the hold on his following. And I had told 300 people who had come to say farewell to me. And I had told people who left with me, "Don't be shocked when Bhagwan turns around and tells you how bad a disciple you are because you have left him." I explained to them that he will have to do it to hold on to the following. I didn't know the extent of the fiction he would create. I had known that he would take something non-tangible like ego, that he would take something like money and create a fiction around it. But I had never, ever suspected that he would come out and make these ghastly, fictional accusations. Criminal accusations. I never knew that. But even that has been good in the sense that it has created my understanding of my own self far more stronger, which is that I never, ever needed others to approve or disapprove of my actions.