Are men women? Are women men?

For most of my life, I thought I knew the answer to these questions. (“No.”) But now things aren’t so simple. Men can be women, and women can be men, and men and women can be neither men nor women or both men and women at the same time. Gender, along with race, is now merely a social construct, which is why white males need to shut up.

Nonetheless, yesterday a white male named Michael Knowles, from the white male site Daily Wire, gave a speech at the University of Missouri-Kansas City. The title of the speech: “Men Are Not Women.”

Uh-oh!

Well, I should say he tried to give his speech. He was interrupted by some irrepressible scamp with a super-soaker full of an unknown liquid.

A student tried to squirt bleach on me during my speech tonight. Lucky for me we was a left-winger and couldn’t even shoot a squirt gun! pic.twitter.com/VHKS4hD4vW — Michael Knowles (@michaeljknowles) April 12, 2019

Fortunately the substance turned out not to be bleach, but rather “lavender oil and some other non-toxic household liquids.” Still, that’s a bit rude. If you want to daub the man with scented oils, do so before or after he gives his speech.

The chancellor of UMKC, Mauli Agrawal, has put out a statement about the unfortunate event. It reads, in part:

Last night, our campus witnessed a collision of two principles that we steadfastly support: the right to free expression and the right to civil protest in response to views we disagree with. The evening’s events laid bare deep divisions that exist in our society today – divisions that UMKC works diligently to address through education, support and commitment to our values…

UMKC must maintain a safe environment in which all points of view, even extreme ones, are allowed to be heard.

Once again, here’s Mr. Knowles’ extreme point of view: “Men Are Not Women.” That’s what triggered the attacker, one Gerard G. Dabu. Oh, the extremity of it.

Guess I’m an extremist too, because I tend to agree with Knowles. Men are not women. That’s worked out pretty well for the entirety of recorded history.

Although I have to admit, I do feel a twinge of doubt in that belief whenever I listen to Chris Hayes.

Fortunately for young Mr. and/or Ms. Dabu, Knowles is a conservative, so this won’t become national news and Dabu’s life won’t be ruined. It’s not as if he and/or she wore a MAGA hat to the Lincoln Memorial and smiled at a Native American.