These 1-Star Yelp Reviews of Embassies Make Us Question the Future of Diplomacy

For every time you may have traveled internationally and been irritated by some visa problem you encountered along the way, there are people who had the same experience — but are so much more infuriated by it.

Passport can’t be picked up on time? You’re annoyed; they’re furious. Embassy closes earlier than you can get off work? You’re inconvenienced; they’re outraged. Call for an update and the phone has been disconnected? You’re irked; they just can’t believe the incompetency of other people.

And lucky for us, these enraged, resentful, and offended people happen to have Yelp accounts.

So with that, we gladly present to you the following snippets from one-star Yelp reviews of embassies in Washington, where international travelers — or visitors invited to attend special events — found conditions to be so horrific that they took the time to review the diplomatic missions on a website mainly known for restaurant ratings. Our favorite lines have been bolded for maximum entertainment.

Canada

“The worst embassy ever. I have travelled to many countries but never had a nightmare experience like I had with Canada.… I am appalled by the fact that no information was provided prior to my trip. No other airports require a visa for connecting flight. Once again Canada cost me enormous amount of money. I wish they could be held accountable for wasting people’s time and money. I really really advise you to avoid Canada all together.”

France

“We went to the ICDC Oscar event hosted at French Embassy and it was the worst party ever. To start with the venue; it was like a high school cafeteria decorated for a high school ball. There were like 3 tables and no other place to stand or socialize. Secondly there were no drinks, just wine and champagne for $10 a glass but even that was sold out at 8 pm (keep in mind the party started at 7 pm). There was a bar literally as big as the size of a kitchen isle. The desserts they offered were an insult for the French patisserie art. The Oscars were shown in a auditorium and there was nothing French or glamorous about the event. It was just an excuse for the host to make money.”

Ethiopia

“If I could give no stars, I would.… I just tried calling for about the tenth time, and got hung up on. When I called back and pretended like we got disconnected and asked for a supervisor, I got send to a full voicemail box (which was about my third time being sent to a full box).”

China

“The people who work at the Visa Office are delightful as ever. You would’ve thought I was asking them to drive across the country to pick up my five kids and seven dogs in a zombie apocalypse, the way they reacted to my visa application. God, it must be so hard, working a 9:30 a.m. to 2 p.m. job. The rest of us just have no idea.”

El Salvador

“I’ve been trying to talk to someone at the embassy for 2 days already the phone rings and rings and nobody picks up. Why they provide a phone number when there is no one to answer calls.”

India

“This is the worst place to visit. 100 times worse than the DMV.… Submitted a visa application a month before my I take my trip, they asked me to come in for interview and I did, than, they asked for additional documents and more information a week later after the interview. They will send you home and ask you to come in a week later for something you could have given them when you were actually there for the pointless interview. that, might I add, you had to wait hours to complete.”

Pakistan

“Worst place in the world. If you want to experience what hell will be like, come here! Beats the MVA by a thousand miles.”

Philippines

“So I decided to fly all the way to DC from FL just to get here, and what do I see? A building that looks like a red brick house. It looks nothing like an embassy. If it weren’t for a flag outside, you wouldn’t be able to identify what this place is. They did not do much to make this building represent Philippines, including the interior. As for the customer service, turtle slow. They have a number system and around noon, they all go to lunch and not say anything to the people waiting. What happens if you leave & come back not realizing that they’re back from their break and started calling out numbers again? What if your number got called but you went out to eat lunch? What then?”

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