The hospital was filled with patients and doctors, but oddly - perhaps, it was a miracle - Anna was allowed to be by her wife's side in a single room with a single doctor and a nurse coming in, in rotation. Nobody could bother them, nobody here would even try to bother them. It had been hours. Anna was in and out of the hospital multiple times, fetching things that were needed, things that weren't needed, and sometimes, she just simply needed a break. But it wouldn't be too long of a break when she knew her wife needed Anna by her side.

Every hour had been incredibly agonizing. But they had to be brave. They had to be strong. They had experienced so many things that not a single thing could push them to their limit. Elsa also had been carrying a child inside of her for nine months, what were a couple of hours -

"OH GOD, ANNA, I'M GOING TO KILL MYSELF!"

Anna nearly spat her cup of water out as she listened to her wife wail out in pain. Thankfully, she knew her wife would never mean that seriously with all the contractions ruining her mind and soul. Not to mention, Anna's hand that Elsa was gripping on was near falling asleep. She winced, feeling a slight tingle on the tips of her near purple fingers, patting her labored wife's hand. With her free one, she began brushing her sweaty blonde hair off her face. "O-Okay… Okay, you've got this…"

The woman immediately growled in annoyance, grasping her wife's collar tightly. And beneath that growl was a small utter of whimpers, voicing her agony. "I… s-swear to fucking god, Anna… if you don't do something - AGH!" Her head had quickly thrown back from the sharp pain coursing through her body.

The redhead immediately turned to the doctor, who sat right between Elsa's opened legs - as weirdly as it sounded. Nurses around them also had been consoling her wife all around, but Elsa was stubbornly getting more and more aggravated. "I-Is there anything you can do, sir?"

The doctor was sweating bullets - unsurprising with the room being so heated. He was unfazed though, thank the Gods. "Ma'am, she's ready to push again." Such a calming voice, but nobody in this room - especially, Elsa - felt very calm.

Her teary eyes widened at the doctor's words. It hadn't been that long since her last push. "W-What? Nononono -" Her tired body refused to listen. Piercing screams of agony echoed through the hospital, and Anna didn't doubt the whole block could hear her curse the sky. Her head was pounding with the growing number of times Elsa had been screaming and groaning in pain - and, of course, she felt terrible - but she promised they would get through this together.

"Elsa…" Anna leaned in, her fingers patting on her blonde hair. Blue eyes, teary and impossibly tired, gazed at her. "Elsa, you're going to be okay…"

Her labored breathing was growing heavier, and those eyes diverted back to between her legs. "I'm scared…"

"Shh, everything is going to be okay. Look at me," Anna urged, smiling with such love and delicacy. "You're going to be okay. I'm… I'm so proud of you. I could never thank you enough for giving us this gift. I love you, and I love… I love our son. So much. We're going to watch him grow, and he's going to have two lovely mothers watching over him. I'm going to teach him how to ride a bike, you're going to teach him all about building stuff - but, first, we're using legos." She chuckled, and tears were already coating her eyes, and it had to be the most wonderful cry she was having. Sniffling, she wiped her shedding tears against the arm of her flannel, a clumsy smile drawn on her face.

The blonde was crying as well - perhaps, out of exhaustion. Perhaps, she had listened to the whole thing - but they both knew they couldn't stop here. She gripped onto Anna's hand, another grasping the edge of the armrest.

"Alright, Elsa, are you ready to push? One, two…"

"AGHHHH!" The veins on her neck were bulging visibly as she threw her head back, every single one of her muscles tensing.

Anna simply watched in fascination, and though she completely feared for her wife's wellbeing - she was overwhelmingly excited for what was about to come.

"Once more," the doctor stated.

"O-Okay, okay… one more. One more, you can do it -"

"Fuck, Anna, I can't -" she moaned, and another hit of contraction came crashing in.

Anna shut her eyes as the screaming continued, praying… praying that everything would be okay. Praying that their son would come to the world with a smile on his face… always with a smile on his face. She drowned herself in her own thoughts, but her ears were completely open to Elsa cursing to the Gods, screaming her name. Whatever would make her wife feel better, she would do… and if it meant that Elsa's squeezing of her hand would break bones, Anna was completely fine with it.

She wished this would go by quicker. Elsa… had been suffering, and while Anna's first thought before coming to the hospital was to give Elsa some anesthesia, the blonde blatantly refused.

Anna remembered those words: "I want to feel our son coming to this world, and I want him to know how much I love him by doing something as simple as this". Simple. It turned out… this wasn't so simple after all.

But she knew Elsa wouldn't regret it. Having to be told that she had failed two in-vitro… Elsa obviously didn't want to hear that anymore. She was willing to try. And she was willing to experience this… feel the happiness coursing through her, and to give birth to a baby girl or boy over and over again. Perhaps, other parents said it right: this could be an addiction.

But only Elsa would know how wonderful it'd feel. And Anna… would sit by her side and watch their happiness grow tenfold. Very willingly and feeling very free.

Wails continued to fill the room, but oddly enough, she heard another high-pitched cry. Elsa's voice had suddenly been lowered.

"Anna…"

The redhead opened her eyes. Blinked. Tears continued to obstruct her vision, but she could see the relaxation on Elsa's face spread. Those cries… continued to sound, prompting her to turn to the direction of the doctor that had a small object, bundled in a blanket. What were those echoes? Why did the voice sound so small? Maybe Anna was living in dreamland right now.

Silently, she turned from being curious about the small bundle to Elsa. The large curve on Elsa's stomach had… shrunk. A lot more. Immediately, her breath had been taken away when the small cries grew louder. "Elsa…?"

The blonde merely smiled, tears resting on the corner of her eyes. "He's here."

He's here? Slowly, she turned to the doctor, who had lowered himself… and their little boy - their little boy, coated with a thin layer of blood, wrapped in a pink little blanket, was crying. She hadn't even realized the doctor had put the fragile child in her arms… she hadn't realized how gently she was cradling him. All she knew was that he was beautiful and he was as light as a doll.

And for a moment, she didn't know how to react. She had never held a child… she had never had her own child in her own arms. Doing this, feeling the small body relax in her own arms as if he was familiar with his own mother already, filled her with such blissfulness and joy. At this moment, she had finally realized… he was finally here.

She chuckled, tears weeping through the corners of her eyes. "Oh God… that's our baby. Elsa, that's our baby… hi, baby, it's Mama. You're so beautiful, baby..."

"Let me see…"

She helped her wife sit up, and in turn, she passed their child to Elsa's arms. He was so small, so fragile, and Anna thought she could easily hurt him even if it was just to pass him to Elsa. The two, having their moment, watched as the child slowly stopped crying, his little fingers reaching and squeezing out nothing but air.

"God," Anna croaked, quickly pressing her lips against her wife's forehead. "You're so incredible."

Elsa didn't speak. Her hand with their ring shining on her finger had covered her lips that trembled in shock, and silently… she wept. Anna understood. She completely understood how she felt - after months of hardship, frustration, dozens of mood swings, finally… everything was over, and out came the result of all that. An outstanding reward for everything that they had been through.

Quietly, she allowed her wife be. Her thumb gently caressed her son's soft cheek. "Wow… he's got your nose. Your hair. It's as light as a feather."

Her wife nodded, still speechless… cradling their son with all the love that she could pour at him.

"Elsa…" Anna chuckled, wrapping her arm around her shoulder. "It's Olaf. His name is Olaf."

"Olaf…" she mouthed. "Our beautiful boy, Olaf…"

"Yeah, look at him. He looks so peaceful." And indeed, with his eyes completely shut, his lips parted in a gentle smile as he continued to sleep. Anna could never get used to seeing this - and she wished she would never get used to the way Olaf looked. She was thankful and so grateful for her wife - for giving Anna the best life that they could ever have together.

Gazing at her, she was met with the same loving eyes. "I love you," Anna whispered.

Quietness filled the air when she felt lips pressed against her own… but no words needed to be said for Anna to understand that that kiss would be equivalent to those same three words. With her eyes fluttering closed, she embraced her wife, her hand carefully holding their son's small body. Everything just felt right. Everything… felt like a dream come true. Deep down, she promised herself one thing - she would never stop caring for her two loved ones… and she would never stop learning to love her son the more he continued to grow. They deserved so much and better.

Silence overtook the living room where they stood. The lights dimmed in their tight surroundings, and the intensity of the air heightened the more they stayed quiet… the more their eyes just gazed emptily at each other, just standing in the middle of the room. Words could not describe how they felt, and all the emotions were all shown in each other's eyes.

And Anna… all Anna felt was the extreme guilt. Behind that mask of emptiness, behind the way her body stiffened up, there was fear. Her girlfriend… her perfectly fine girlfriend was standing right in front of her, arms crossed over her torso. Never once had their gaze left each other as well.

After all these months of hiding her own emotions, of fearing of hurting Meg, she finally had the courage of wanting to talk. Only, Meg knew exactly what it was that they needed to talk about the moment her happy-go-lucky smile had turned sour.

Even through this silence, everything hurt. It hurt to imagine what Meg could say to her. It hurt to imagine all the crying… all the screaming and anger, but was it going to be all worth it? It had to be. Anna had wanted to let everything go, and if she had waited any longer, she'd only regret it. She knew it too well, especially for someone who hadn't been able to act on her courage for so long.

The brunette inhaled, and it was the first sound that had come out between them. "So? How do you want this to go?" She stuck her hand out with raised eyebrows. "Would you like to start?"

Damn it. Anna clenched her jaw together, her eyes unable to bear to see the extreme ferocity in Meg's eyes. "Meg… I… I was the one that was wrong," she nodded, "I was the one that night… that did something so despicable. I don't expect you to forgive me -"

"Did you ever love me?"

Her heavy heart had decided to drop from the impact of her words. How…? How am I supposed to answer that? With tears coating her eyes, she tried her best to look at her. The least Meg deserved was this. Respect. But it was wrong… it was wrong, coming from someone who did wrong.

When she expected anger on Meg's face, all she could see was the disappointment and her complete distrust for Anna. Her soft voice that said those harsh words echoed in the back of Anna's head like a recorder. This wasn't going to do. A peaceful talk like this was never going to happen, and Anna knew it. She was only dreaming of this. "Meg… Meg, you know I love you. You know that, and that's why I'm -"

Slap.

It was called for. And like a statue, all Anna did was stare blankly at Meg's feet. How could she ever meet her eyes? Her cheek… reddened and stinging, was filled with Meg's agonized pain. And as she continued to shamefully stare at her feet, she heard a series of soft whimpers.

"Do I know that you love me? What did I ever do to you...?" her voice croaked, and the tall woman had taken a step back.

It was her chance… and she took this chance to pick her head up. She took the chance to see the heartbreak in her eyes… she took the chance to see tears streaming down her cheeks… how the woman just nodded in acceptance because they both knew Anna never once loved her.

But Anna still remained quiet. If she ever deserved to speak out, she would know what love is, and she would be on her knees in plea if she needed to be. But her heart spoke of illusions. Of lust. Of needing someone beside her because the person she loved didn't want to fulfill and return that love. And now… Anna didn't want that kind of lust anymore.

"I gave everything to you…" Meg growled between her teeth, between her tears and cries, fingers pointed to her own chest. "I gave you my life. Every time… you thought of her, you drank, and I watched you. I would watch you, and I would fill your cup until it overflowed because I was willing to give you all the things that you wanted. I held your hand, and I willingly drowned with you. I took it so far to do so much… and I made sure I held you close."

Anna shut her eyes.

"Every time you fell to your knees, every time you cried, I made sure I was there. And, every time, I managed to get you back to your feet. I didn't need you to thank me. Your love was enough for me, I didn't need anything from you other than that, " the brunette emphasized, and freely those tears continued to fall down the cheeks Anna had once kissed… cheeks that Anna had once held in her hands. "I did all that just so you can take advantage of me. Do you know how much I've endured? Having to hear you constantly talk about that woman that never loved you… it hurts."

"Meg, that's not -"

"I was the one who put you on top! I was the one who helped you get out of that broken place!" she yelled, jabbing a finger at Anna. "I was the one who put you up there because I wanted you to deserve all the love and happiness that you didn't get from her! While you wallowed in your own misery, who embraced you? Who kissed you? Who gave you words of confidence to make sure that you were smiling again? Who bathed you, cooked for you, comforted you, wiped your tears when you felt like you've earned none of this? I WAS THE ONE WHO FUCKING CARED WHEN NOBODY ELSE CARED FOR YOU!"

Stop it. Just stop it.

Anna couldn't talk, let alone think. All this time, she wept like a child. All this time as she listened to Meg's outburst… the more she realized how right Meg was. The more she realized Meg didn't deserve what a fuck-up that she was. And with her blurred vision, all she could see was the gleam of heartbreak… and all the words that Meg had kept inside in her own heart for so long being let out right here, right now.

"I… gave you all my love, how dare you take advantage of me. Tell me, Anna… what does she have that I don't already have? What do you see in her that you never saw in me?"

Anna didn't answer.

"Or perhaps… you just saw too much of her in me." Her arms slouched to her side in exhaustion. Maybe, beyond that, there was acceptance, but Anna wouldn't know. She wouldn't know anything.

Of course, she wouldn't even know what she wanted now because Meg was right - Elsa didn't have anything that Meg didn't already have. The beauty, the kindness, the selflessness, the way Meg would tend to Anna…

No, there were so many flaws that Elsa had that Meg didn't have, and it would have been more than enough, and yet… it wasn't Meg that she truly still loved. It wasn't enough. Why did it have to be Elsa? Why did it have to be someone who was so imperfect and broken?

Her silent gaze averted to looking at the brunette, and her lips quivered nervously as she began to speak. Meg was waiting, always had been waiting. "All the time…" she started, her gentle voice sounding remorseful and guilt-ridden. "All I've ever done was hurt you more and more. I accept it. I know how I feel… and I know I was thinking about her when we laid together. I know... you knew that as well. I just… I'm sorry."

Meg stiffened. "Don't tell me you're sorry. I waited all these months… wondering when will there be a moment that you start talking. Two. Months. It took two months. You're not sorry. You were never sorry." For a moment, she said nothing, but her hand had raised up in the air again suddenly, palm facing Anna. The redhead, though had flinched, continued to meet Meg's gaze.

If she wanted to slap Anna again, she'd take it. A thousand times more. Moments had passed, but it never happened. Those spread fingers wrung together in a fist before falling slowly to her side. "You..." She pursed her lips in a tight line, but all the words were coming out rapid fire. "You couldn't have just waited until I have fallen out of love… Could you? How does it feel now that you've said all that you could?"

Anna couldn't answer that. She was lucky enough not to earn another slap. "I'm sorry…" And that was all she could repeat, but those words wouldn't fix a damn thing. In desperation, she could have gotten on her knees, but, oh, she was too prideful for that, right?

The brunette scoffed in disbelief, fingers quickly swiping away those pained tears. "You know… all this time, I was confident I wanted to start a family with you. That it would be with Olaf. I was wrong."

That didn't sit well with Anna. Her ears perked and drenched in crimson, and with the sound of Olaf's name worded through Meg, she eyed her, finally, with a sense of bravery. "Meg… Olaf is just a child, who still has Elsa and I as his mothers. How… how could you even think such a thing?"

"Because I was naively falling in love with you, and now I realize how stupid I was to think that." "Meg…" The moment she reached to grab Meg's arm, the woman stepped away. Of course. Who would want to touch Anna? Who would want… to be with a woman who didn't have a fucking backbone? Meg was right, and she was always right about one thing…

"You haven't changed a bit," the brunette replied, her words as cold as ice. She was quickly grabbing her stuff, their eyes unmet. The front door creaked open… and when Anna had expected the woman to slam the heavy door on her face, she stayed where she was, fingers grasping the handle tightly. And Anna… for the last time, watched. "I was too blind by my own love… that I even turned a blind eye to everything that you did. That you said. Because I thought our love could do no wrong. You can't live without me, Anna. You know that."

"Meg, please!"

Click, the door closed, and all that filled the air was silence. In the background, as she stood in the middle of the room, gazing at the door - and, like the broken person she was, wished that Meg would come back - the gentle rain painted her window. And, slowly, seconds had passed, and the rumbling of the thunder… the waves of rain crashed down like an earthquake.

The last two sentences echoed, sharing the bitterness that Meg was feeling… and through the emptiness of her own home, of her own heart, she continued to listen to those two words repeating over and over again. All this time… she had had her hands held by Meg, and never once had the brunette let her go. But she was right once more. If it weren't for her… Anna would have drowned so deep into her own feelings, nobody could save her.

She deserved this. She deserved to see her leave… to see the crystal droplets trailing down Meg's cheeks. She deserved the hurt, the pain, and from where she stood… she never felt so lonely. So… in peace. It was over.

Acceptance filled her heavy heart, and all she was left with was the single thought that Meg was right to leave her. To find someone else. Though, as heartbroken as she was, Anna didn't doubt the fact that, perhaps… Meg had already found someone else.

She gazed down to the floor, back meeting against the balcony window, and her two fingers ran down the red outline on her cheek of where Meg had slapped her. Admittedly, when she did call for Meg… she merely did it in need to save her own reputation. Not for love. For the fact that her prideful self didn't want to be embarrassed. But it had finally been too late.

She wasn't sure what she wanted to do now. In fact, though, while she longed to weep through her own sorrow, no remaining tears would come out. The next thing she knew, she was out in the empty streets. The next thing she knew… rain replaced those tears, and in mere seconds, she was soaked with mother nature. Anna… couldn't be in that apartment anymore.

Memories of them together in their own happiness and love filled that place. Love that Anna was willing to provide. Love… that she knew, was Meg's true feeling as well. And I've betrayed her.

With dreadfully slow strides, hands in her pockets, shoulders slouched, eyes shamefully glaring at her own feet, she began walking. There wasn't a destination. Unsure of what to do, unsure of where to go, she let her body take her to places where she was fine going. Perhaps, a bar. Perhaps… a strip club. Somewhere to spend her money and drown to become numb.

Perhaps, then, she would be able to learn to love again.

"Mom?"

"Hm?"

"Do you think Mama will be okay?"

The blonde blinked her attention from the TV, turning to the dining table where Olaf was sitting, doing his homework. Those big blue eyes, as curious as it should be, looked quite serious as well. While Elsa stayed in silence, in contemplation, the background was filled with cartoon sound effects. Slowly, the woman took the remote on the coffee table and turned the volume down. She didn't need to tell Olaf to come over as she noticed the boy doing just that, sitting right beside her.

Sighing, she ran her fingers through her son's hair, eyes gazing up at the ceiling. That question… was very broad, and it was a question that Elsa would more than often ask herself as well. First off, how would she define 'okay'?

Two months had passed ever since they had had that talk, and ever since then, there had been many moments that Anna felt the most joyous - only with the wrong person. Elsa had always told her she should be happy with Meg… not when she came back to Elsa's house. Many times after that, Anna would simply feel discouraged, almost like Elsa had just taken away her candy. Anyone would understand that this behavior just wasn't normal.

Two months had passed. In the span of that entire time, Elsa made herself a promise that she wouldn't push Anna to do a single thing. Anna… needed to be the one to get back up on her feet on her own.

Running her fingers through Olaf's hair, her attention shifted blankly to the black screen, showing nothing but a dark reflection of herself. Is she okay? She would ask herself, but in the end, she would be left without a solid answer, because the only time she knew Anna would look okay… was when they were together.

She exhaled, "I don't know, honey." It was the most truthful answer. "Mama has been… going through a lot lately."

"Is that why she's home often?" He gasped, his face beaming with excitement. "Is she gonna stay?! I want her to stay!"

Her own words were caught in her own throat as she pursed her lips together. Even thinking about it herself, she didn't have a clue why Anna would always come back here. But deep down, she recognized Anna's heart… and what it desired. Who it desired. As wishful as she was, Elsa still turned a blind eye on her, turned her back on her… because they had to know being together now was not right.

She truly despised her younger, more immature self for letting go of someone that had given her no truer love than anything else. At one point… maturity had to grow and be embraced, and it was her that had to let Anna go, instead. It was better for both of them.

Jealousy was often a thing, but she knew jealousy came with toxicity. When Anna needed her the most, Elsa had to be in the most open mind. And whatever Anna needed, she would give… even if it meant Anna would stay in their home for days on end. No doubt, she knew Anna hated being in that apartment.

"Olaf, do you know… people get lonely sometimes?"

He hummed, eyeing his feet. "Well, I get lonely in school sometimes when we have to do work."

She chuckled. "Well, I don't mean it as in… being physically by yourself for a long period of time. I mean your feeling." She tapped her finger on Olaf's heart. "Mama feels lonely. I don't know how to describe it to you, darling. The only thing we have to do - the best thing we have to do - is be there for her."

He frowned, confusion written across his adoring face. "I don't understand? Is she sad?"

Elsa pursed a pitiful grin. "You can say that. But I'm trying to make her happy - and you… you don't even have to try, baby. Letting her see you brings so much happiness in her heart."

"Then, Mom, why do you have to try?"

Because there's something that I need to prove to her. She couldn't say it though. And even if she did, the doorbell had rung, disrupting their little family time together. Of course, completely distracted, she hadn't realized outside was pouring with rain, and only a lonely street light lit the sidewalk from across their living room window.

"I'll be right back, sweetie." Brring. "Coming!"

And only when she opened the door, every single fiber of her body had ceased right then and there. No, she feared nothing. She felt nothing… but in time, shock coursed through her eyes like rapid waves. First, it was disbelief. Second, it was confusion. And, finally, Elsa had gotten to where she belonged… listening to the rain splattering on the roof of her house, the rumbling thunder and lightning shaking the surface of the earth.

In front of her, stood Anna in her complete misery. Though her face was stoic, Elsa could see through it all - the heartbreak… the anger… the acceptance. "Anna…" she whispered, letting her eyes wander at the chaos that her wife was.

Dressed in a hoodie and jeans… Anna was soaked in the rain from head to toe. Her gorgeous auburn hair was limp from life, and those brightly colored eyes were blank from any blissfulness. Elsa had seen her like this before, and never once could she get used to it.

"Anna… what are you…"

The redhead's laughter was as bitter as it could be, and Elsa could taste it. "I did it. I finally did it. I… I made my decision."

For a moment, Elsa thought her life, so filled with bliss and torture, had flashed by. Memories upon memories trickled through her mind like a videotape and all… Elsa could ever see was their everlasting love for each other back then. The animated smile that Anna would once bear for her seemed so different to now. The tears that fell used to be filled with ecstasy… and right now, the sight had become unbearable.

Anna's tears were masked in the rain, droplets trickling down her cheeks… and that smile, almost crooked… wasn't filled with the same happiness either.

So many things had crossed Elsa's scattered mind, but she realized her main priority was to comfort Anna. It didn't matter if it was raining, it didn't matter if Olaf was still inside, it didn't matter if they were wet and dirty. It didn't matter what Anna had done. Almost instantly, she came out of the house, arms immediately reaching to hug her wife as tightly as possible. Her lips kissed the woman's forehead, and that was enough to snap Anna.

Cries of sorrow echoed through the rain, familiar arms slowly wrapping around her waist so tightly. Familiarity was all Elsa ever knew right now. Back in each other's arms, Elsa found comfort in knowing that Anna was here, was safe… and all she needed now was a little love.

"There you go… I've got you. I'm here… I've got you, darling."

a/n: you ever write a chapter and suddenly just cry, and you dont know what you're crying about, but youre crying anyway? yea, this is one of those chapters.