I don’t know if the Finnish air is thinner or what, but being taken so far north of Hoxie is making Raven super extra. Nick says that dating Raven is like living in a choose-your-own-adventure book, which is hilarious. “Hey Raven! Dating you is so much fun because every day is a surprise, and sometimes I’m scared that if I make one wrong move you’re going to murder me in the ghost town of Deadwood.” I think Nick is terrified of Raven. Raven and Nick decide to take advantage of the fact that they’re in beautiful, magical Finland by… playing darts! I can only dream that one day I’ll get to do something so cultured and exotic. Over dinner, Raven tells Nick that she’s nervous about their Fantasy Suite™ date because it is officially Time To Bang. Nick is like “Um, you know we - we like, don’t have to have sex. It’s literally fine.” Raven is like “NICK, I’M FRICKIN’ OUT! WE’RE GONNA BANG!” Raven then reveals that her ex-boyfriend - someone she dated for two years and never said she was in love with, which, yikes - never gave her an orgasm. Okay. Ooookay. Let’s just - I don’t even know where to start. There are like eight different think pieces I could write about this conversation. On the one hand, yes, there’s actually a fairly toxic power play that exists in many intimate relationships wherein some partners don’t care at all about their partner’s pleasure. Read about it here! This is an important thing to talk about. On the other hand, Raven seems to have a pretty skewed idea of sex and orgasms and what all those things should entail. An orgasm is not, like, a bracelet, or even a FabFitFun box. It’s not a gift that you’re obligated to present to someone else. Sure, maybe Raven’s ex was bad in bed, but it seems weird to attack him about this specific issue on TV. Plenty of women are never able to orgasm during sex. That’s very normal. Raven doesn’t seem to know this. This is why comprehensive sex education is so important!! Raven has zero understanding of her own body. Somebody tell her she’s allowed to masturbate, like, it’s fine. It’s not illegal anymore. Maybe it is in Hoxie, I don’t know. “I think it never happened with him because I didn’t trust him fully,” she explains. This is… also not how sex works. This sounds like a made-up Raven Fact™. It is very possible to have great sex with someone you don’t trust, or don’t know well, or don’t even like all that much. Has she been watching Sex and the City with all the Samantha scenes edited out? Okay. I HAVE to move on. Anyway, Raven gives Nick a very rehearsed speech about how, when she was a little girl, her dad used to pray that she would have an easy love. That is a super weird thing for a dad to pray about, but, whatever. Raven thinks that Nick is her easy love. It seems like Raven literally only likes Nick because he isn’t awful to her. She needs therapy and a sex ed night class and a DVD box set of the first season of Gossip Girl. And then - and then, and then, and then. The worst thing in the history of this entire damn show that’s been on for a billion years happens. Raven leaves Nick’s little log cabin giggling, and then there’s this abysmal montage about how she maybe had her first orgasm. She runs, she jumps, she high-fives strangers, she pets a dog, she plays with these rainbow poles, she rides an elevator with a cheeky grin, all while a terrible public domain version of “Walkin’ On Sunshine” plays in the background. And we don’t even know what happened! “Nick is really good at what he does,” explains Raven coyly. This does not sound like a woman who had a satisfying sexual experience. This sounds like a fourteen-year-old at summer camp who had a boy successfully unhook her bra for the first time. I don’t think they even had sex. Raven makes it to the final two. I am genuinely scared that if she doesn’t win, she’s going to stab Nick with a reindeer antler like a Christmasy version of that scene in Get Out.