Every year, EA Sports comes out with a new Madden video game, and people hotly debate the rankings of the players. We at GangGreenNation decided to apply the Madden ratings to our own beat reporters. Let's see how they did, folks.

Name Article Originality Ability to Write Without Snark Ability to Actually Analyze Football Refusal to Resort to Sensationalism Ability to Competently Use Twitter Overall Rating Manish Mehta 55 5 18 0 99 35.40 Rich Cimini 65 16 84 13 0 35.60 Dan Leberfeld 70 20 25 25 99 47.80 J.P. Pelzman 60 14 45 50 99 53.60 Kimberley Martin 60 8 45 62 99 54.80 Jane McManus 75 23 45 67 99 61.80 Brian Costello 80 60 75 92 99 81.20 Dennis Waszak 70 92 55 90 99 81.20 Kristian Dyer 93 63 75 95 99 85.00 Seth Walder 85 95 75 73 99 85.40 Darryl Slater 78 95 75 90 99 87.40 Eric Allen 99 99 99 99 99 99.00

Some notes. The first is that new guy Darryl Slater looks to be extremely promising. So far, he's just reported the news, and hasn't tried to get too cute or overdo it. He knows he's not writing for a Pulitzer Prize here. Speaking of the Pulitzer Prize, Manish Mehta has won our very own Florio Award, which goes to the worst person covering the team.

Also, full disclosure: my rankings of Eric Allen may be biased because of how great his goatee is.