

Photo Credit: Jeremy Lim.

Were it not for the lockout, tonight would mark the culmination of a long offseason and the start of regular season Canucks hockey. If not for the business realities of 21st Century Professional Sports, the Vancouver Canucks would be headed to Calgary to play (and probably soundly defeat) an undermanned Flames club.

In an ideal world we’d have updates from practice this afternoon, and Canucks fans would bitch about Alain Vigneault’s newest, weird line combinations. Cory Schneider would be poised to debut as the team’s starter, and the fans would be giddy about getting to watch a flurry of back-hand saucer passes from "Henrik to Daniel, back to Henrik, to Daniel again at the side of the net, back to Henrik to Burrows in front GOOAL!"…

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Alas, the NHL season won’t begin tonight, and it probably won’t begin any time soon (the soonest it could begin is October 25th – but don’t hold your breathe). So instead of previewing the game, we’ll preview some alternative entertainment options you might consider in the absence of NHL hockey…

Read on past the jump.

Television

Last Resort

Two episodes into its first season, and I’ve really enjoyed the new ABC Shawn Ryan vehicle "Last Resort". In the pilot episode (they actually called it a "captain episode" because the series is set on a nuclear submarine – get it?) the captain of a state of the art US nuclear submarine, with Red October type ability to appear invisible on sonar, refuses an order to nuke Pakistan that comes to them through a secondary channel. As a result, they are fired on by another US submarine, only barely survive, then invade a small Pacific Island and proceed to threaten the rest of the world with their arsenal of nuclear warheads. Yeah, it’s a pretty awesome show.

It’s also a perfect NHL lockout show. Towards the end of the "captain episode" Andre Braugher (best known for his role in Homicide) delivers a monologue, a threatening tape that he sends out to news media around the world in an attempt to appear crazy and discourage any outside interference. "Test us" he says to the camera "and we will all burn… Together." It’s really rad. Here’s that monologue:

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The third episode of the series will air tonight on ABC at 8 PM PST (or, when tonight’s "originally scheduled" game would’ve been in full swing). I highly recommend it.

Vice President Debate



Just Biden your time until the NHL season starts.

If you require competition to get you through this evening, there will be a Vice Presidential Candidates debate at 9 PM between Paul "sit-ups" Ryan and Joe "foot in mouth" Biden that could be wickedly entertaining. Both of these politicians have a habit of saying really, really stupid things, so tonight’s debate has a higher potential meme quotient (per sixty) than anything else you could possibly watch.

Mr. Biden’s goal will be to halt some of the gains Mr. Romney has made since he flattened Mr. Obama in last week’s Presidential debate on domestic policy. Paul Ryan on the other hand will try to avoid shaving more seconds off of his 40 time than Jose Canseco used to do in his prime. All he really has to do is avoid calling Joe Biden "O’Biden" and he’ll at least do better than Sarah Palin did.

Realistically, if you’re the type who is opposed to say spending time with family and friends – you could watch Last Resort then flip to the Vice Presidential debates and your evening could be set!

MLB Playoffs



Clutchco Crisp

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There are two evening playoffs games on Thursday that should be worth paying attention to. In the early game (7:37 PM EST) the YOLOrioles will try to extend their magical (and unsustainable) season as they face the New York Yankees (and elimination). At least it’ll make for something to watch during the commercial breaks while you’re watching Last Resort.

In the late game (9:37 PM EST), it’s the Tigers, who are sending Justin Verlander to the mound, versus the Oakland A’s in a winner takes all game five. The A’s staged a massive comeback last night, putting up three runs (including Coco Crisp’s "clutch" walk off single) in the bottom of the ninth to extend the series. Can Billy Beane’s club complete the comeback against the best pitcher in baseball?

Frankly, if it weren’t for the NHL lockout, I’d have been forced to count scoring chances during a 5-1 Canucks blowout of the Flames while this game was going on. So, thanks NHL!

NFL Thursday Night Game

It’s the Steelers versus the Titans on Thursday night football! Wait the Titans? Forget about it…

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Movies



Hey look, it’s Brother Eli riding shotgun!

If you haven’t seen it yet, you should probably go see Looper maybe you should even see it tonight!

The time-travel based science fiction assassin film is pretty spectacular. Sure the special effects fall apart a bit as the film moves along, but the concept is excellent, the acting is solid and the script rules. On the whole it makes for an extremely satisfying film going experience.

So if you’re not a baseball fan or a politics junkie, maybe you should get some friends together and go see Looper.

Night Life and Concert Listings

I guess you could go to the Biltmore or the Media Club and watch some anonymous DJ do their thing. Maybe they’ll even be good! Maybe you’ll even meet a cute ethnic girl in plaid! Talk to her about score adjusted Fenwick – it’s a perfect ice breaker! Just kidding, Vancouver doesn’t have any night life…

Go for Pho

Pho is delicious.





