As many of our readers know, Iranian general and fireworks enthusiasts, Qaseem Soleimani has met an untimely death at the hands of the current White House occupant. This horrific murder of such a heroic figure has enraged many Americans, and rightly so. Soleimani was beloved by many in the U.S., and his passing has given us yet another reason to impeach the homocidal Cheeto-in-Chief.

Anonymous sources close to the IMPOTUS have spoken to NPC Daily reporters, telling us that it was Donald Trump himself who actually piloted the unmanned drone from the Oval Office with a PS4 controller. As the smoke cleared from the explosion, he was heard loudly cackling, “Look, Mike! A seven kill streak! I just pwned those n00bs! It was a perfect kill streak — probably the greatest ever.”

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Congresswomxyzn Ilhan Omar and Rashida Tlaib have organized a memorial service at the Mall of America to mourn the passing of this honored general and outspoken critic of Donald Trump’s illegal war in Iraq and subsequent occupation of the Middle East.

We extend our condolences to The Squad, Jeremy Corbyn, Linda Sarsour, and her Qatari handlers.