After her mother in law passed away, Rachel proudly told me "she wanted to talk about the fact that she was dying, but we did not let her."

Why, I wondered, though I already knew. Death, the one certainty life holds for us, is often considered too painful to discuss. We avoid the topic, at the cost of making it not just painful, but also extremely . How can one make decisions regarding treatment, organ donation, and, ultimately, pulling the plug, if her loved ones are pretending these decisions are irrelevant, choosing instead to talk about the weather.

It need not be this way. The Indians, in fact, acknowledge death on a daily basis, breathing in and out their three oms - for birth, life, and, well, the end, as part of yoga practice. As for us, our rituals often make it as far as possible from down to earth. A new casket, of all things, on display at the Design Triennial, Cooper-Hewitt National Design Museum, on view till January 9, 2011offers a new, demystifying approach. New Zealand's Greg Holdsworth designed a low "simple, nontoxic, biodegradable casket made of light and attractive [I swear to God, this is what is says on the exhibit plack] plywood." Every detail was taken into consideration, and "handles are integrated into the base while a wood frame provides a natural cushion." The humble, IKEAesque creation, was meant to help overcome the pollution caused by burning plastic and paint during cremation. As far as I'm concerned, genius design notwithstanding, the name of the product, ‘Return to Sender" is its biggest selling point. No sugar coating. No making belief like the person will just resting, soon to stretch and walk around. No over-dramatization either. Just the plain, reassuring truth, that the casket is but a vessel, a means of transportation, a predictable stop in life's journey, going full circle.

Perhaps this novel product will redesign not only how we think about burial, but also how we think about the slow process of dying, and whether we venture to speak of it.

http://www.cooperhewitt.org/EXHIBITIONS/triennial/why-design-now.asp

For those who dare, a new project 'Engage with Grace' offers one slide which tackles the difficult end of life questions, in as matter of fact a manner as can humanly, and humanely, be performed. Before we return to sender.

http://www.engagewithgrace.org/