Michael Matthew Bloomer, June 26, 2014

Academic Achievement Or Deceivement? Last Thursday in Fort Worth at a Texas Classroom Teachers Association gathering, quite-quite conservative GOP candidate Attorney General Greg Abbott spoke about his education policy proposals during a joint appearance with his gubernatorial opponent Texas Democratic State Senator Wendy Davis.

The photo-op moment, though, was his proud display of what he claimed was his 1st grade report card, stuffed full with excellent grades and comportment assessments that allegedly resulted in his advancement to 2nd grade. Immediate suspicions arose among conferees about Abbott’s claim. Many professional teachers at the conference counterclaim that his comments and activities on the campaign trail offer scant assurance that he did accomplish 1st grade graduation.

One highly regarded 27-year veteran 1st grade teacher reported,

“He moved [the report card] around so much I was unable to see it, much less examine it. Even so, many of us saw obvious erasure marks, and grades for the crucial subjects English and Spelling were missing entirely. This was not a 1st grade report card I was familiar with. My concerns will only be resolved when Mr. Abbott releases his notarized and certified report card directly through the Texas Department of Education, not by his campaign operation.”

Given the furor over the issue at the conference, it’s safe to predict that if Greg Abbott is to defeat Wendy Davis this November he first must prove to Texas voters he legitimately graduated from 1st grade. That task may well prove an uphill battle.

Examples Abound. As if waving a red cape inches from a bull, last February he campaigned with the bombastic right-winger Ted Nugent despite Nugent’s labeling President Obama a “subhuman mongrel” just weeks before. Outrage followed from all sides, including sitting GOP Governor Rick Perry, demonstrating that it is possible to veer too far right in Texas. Abbott shrugged it off, invited Nugent to appear with him, and offered only tepid criticism. Texas voters now ask, would a qualified 1st grade graduate agree to appear with the likes of Ted Nugent? A group of 1,100 certified Texas second graders polled by Gallop Elementary Polling a day after Abbott’s claim responded 94% in the negative, with 4% asking “Who is Ted Nugent?”, and with 2% wetting themselves.

Another example from January 2014 buttressed suspicions about Abbott’s report card. The education policy paper he discussed at the teachers’ association meeting last Thursday cites self-professed social scientist Charles Murray, [text here] a retro-eugenicist revered among leading white supremacists, prison inmates, and sanitarium residents. Among others, however, Murray’s reputation is less stellar. He’s described as a master of circular logic who uses a form of statistical analysis more akin to LSD-induced ramblings than to mathematics. His ludicrous findings, they assert, unerringly result in self-validating racist and misogynist conclusions about the need for educating persons of any color but white, and of women of any and all colors whatever for anything beyond day labor. Here’s a quite typical sample:

“No woman has been a significant original thinker in any of the world’s great philosophical traditions,” he wrote, “Women have produced a smaller number of important visual artists, and none that is clearly in the first rank.”

Given this, one might ask to see Murray’s certified 1st grade report card. As for Greg Abbott, many now ask, would a true 1st grade graduate seek and accept advice from such a man?

Yet another – and rather sordid – episode last January also leaves one confused about Greg Abbott’s academic record: What qualified 1st grade diploma holder would fail to denounce a campaign poster like the one above right, the notoriously lurid “Abortion Barbie”? Abbott dd not. First grade graduate?

There are dozens of examples, but let these suffice, and for now, QED.

Abbott’s Demand For Transparency – Hoist On His Own Petard? Attorney General Abbott trumpets the need for more transparency in state government operations and in its officials’ activities. Here then is his opportunity to lead. Texans challenge you, Mr. Abbott: release a 1st grade report card the people can believe in.

Tomorrow, First Grade FIRST!, a group formed immediately after last Thursday’s Texas Classroom Teachers Association gathering, will distribute and post throughout Texas the placard below. The group provided They Will Say ANYTHING! the exclusive opportunity to showcase it here first. We join First Grade FIRST! to support their cause, and urge candidate Greg Abbott to release a certified copy of his 1st grade report card. Clear up the confusion now!

(Click for a larger & clearer version that will open in a new tab.

Simply click on the resulting image to enlarge it.)

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