311

Bayou Music Center

July 31, 2015

There comes a point in every band's life when it's time to bow out gracefully. And while they don't appear to be aware of it, that time for 311 is now.

Plenty of you may disagree with that assessment, but it's true. Here's the deal. Yes, at some point the music 311 made was interesting and kind of refreshing. But that time was — say it with me — the '90s, my friends. And while this band hasn't been able to make an album worth listening to in more than a decade, they are still touring and playing all the new songs off the newer albums anyway. And they're terrible.

Yes, I mean terrible. When every song you record, and every album you release, sounds just like some bad karaoke ripoff of your own self-titled album, 311 — the one that brought us "Down" and "All Mixed Up" — it's time to stop.

It would almost be all right if 311 were touring as a nostalgia band, playing their old hits and reliving their glory years just for the hell of it, but they're not. They are touring as if they are still a relevant band, playing obscure — and also very bad — songs no one's heard of. Most people (aside from the hardcore fans) would assume a 311 show would be composed of the band's more popular tracks — even that terrible "Amber" song — but alas, they are not.

And here's what happens when a band like 311 plays but nobody knows what the hell they're singing: nothing. Everyone stands around drinking beer and talking shit while front man Nick Hexum waves his mike wildly at the crowd, but no one responds because they're waiting for a song they do know. And let's be fair here. While I don't doubt there are plenty of devoted 311 fans out there, that still does not account for the majority who were at Friday night's show.

