During the last quarter century church attendance has drastically decreased in America. According to a 2014 Pew Research study, “The greatest net losses [in the number of Americans claiming a religious affiliation] by far, have been experienced by Catholics. Nearly one-third of American adults (31.7%) say they were raised Catholic. Among that group, fully 41% no longer identify with Catholicism. This means that 12.9% of American adults are former Catholics.”

While one may find these statistics troubling and decry the shattering of moral foundations and social cohesion entailed by a Godless culture whose citizen’s ability for empathy erodes each day beneath our Internet-fueled degeneration of intellect, there is a silver lining: kids are getting diddled a whole lot less!

Along with the decline of church attendance, reports of child molestation have also decreased. This raises the question of what we as a modern society should prioritize. Do we want to live in a moral nation built upon 2500 years of Judeo-Christian ethics or do we want our children not to get molested?

Perhaps the loss of church in our society may prove beneficial?

Sure, there’s less God in our lives, but there’s also less Fathers in our sons. I for one will miss the Holy Father, but I sure won’t miss Father’s Hole!

Nevertheless, it is a shame that the next generation won’t have the same morals as their ancestors. It’s likely that in a future without the church’s teachings and authoritative pressures children will feel comfortable talking about molestation and their sufferings, which will only then make it a life problem for them instead of something that may have once happened but they can’t remember because they immediately repressed it.

Church teaches you how to love others, be kind, and not let a finger up the ass ruin your day.

R.I.P. Church, I for one will miss you.