LONDON — Twitter Q&A sessions are a notoriously risky business, particularly if you're the author of a a set of books as widely known (and widely parodied) as the Fifty Shades series.

Nevertheless, E.L. James' publicity team was brave enough to give it a go on Monday evening, using the hashtag #AskELJames and encouraging readers to tweet their questions. The results were... well, probably not what they'd been hoping for.

Things got off to a rocky start.

Do you think you'll ever fully convince yourself the FIFTY SHADES books are an original work? #AskELJames — Norm Wilner (@normwilner) June 29, 2015

And then escalated very quickly.

Which do you hate more, women or the English language? #AskELJames — Ian Robinson (@eyeswideshut75) June 29, 2015

Some people had questions about James' writing style.

#AskELJames Did you ever consider using a thesaurus, or did that sound too much like hard work? — Amy (@scifisunsets) June 29, 2015

Have you ever held a dictionary? #AskELJames — Melissa Hunt (@thenewsmuse) June 29, 2015

#AskELJames Do you get paid per adjective? — Bao Bao (@fiatpanda) June 29, 2015

Others had questions relating to the books' subject matter.

#AskELJames I need advice on making a BIG romantic gesture. Should I put a GPS tracker in her phone and make threats if she tries to leave? — Liam Dryden (@LiamDrydenEtc) June 29, 2015

#AskELJames Were you watching Dexter when you wrote the scene where Christian buys stuff at the hardware store Ana works at? — Vanessa C. (@nessaskybooks) June 29, 2015

What type of research, if any, did you do about ginger root being used as a butt plug during sex? #AskELJames — Katiebabs (@katiebabs) June 29, 2015

There were quite a few Stephenie Meyer-themed questions.

Will there be a delay to our answers while you wait for Stephanie Meyer to answer them first, so you know what to write? #AskELJames — Tony Lee (@mrtonylee) June 29, 2015

Will you be rewriting the book from Stephenie Meyer's point of view next time? #AskELJames — Skeptical Dinosaur (@skepticosaurus) June 29, 2015

#AskELJames What's the minimum distance you have to stay away from Stephenie Meyer at all times? — Kayleigh Anne (@Ceilidhann) June 29, 2015

Did you see the abusive relationship of Bella and Edward and think "hmm needs more abuse" #AskELJames — R_chelCh_rlt_nD_iley (@RachelCDailey) June 29, 2015

And a few people just took the chance to quiz James on some wider issues.

#AskELJames Who do you think should be the next leader of the Lib Dems? — Peter Bradshaw (@PeterBradshaw1) June 29, 2015

Can you lend me a tenner? #AskELJames — Paul the Blue Alien (@Puffman180) June 29, 2015

All in all, these two tweeters summed things up pretty well.

Somewhere, there is a PR/social exec frantically searching the #AskELJames tag for questions she can *actually* answer. — Laura Thomas (@_eltee) June 29, 2015

Oh dear.