Brentwood Mall is the definition of sleepy.

The northern Burnaby mall is not quiet by any means, and is just as busy as any average shopping mall (excluding the one nearest to it, Metrotown Mall, but we don’t count the biggest mall in BC). But it does seem to draw an older clientele with a B-grade offering of stores and services. It’s anchored not by Sears and The Bay like most, but by Sears and Zellers, which makes a bigger difference than you might expect. Must be the two dollar pancakes at the Zellers restaurant.

Anyway, after scouring for a place to park and looking forward to getting my croissant on, I swing by EB Games to see if I can pick up a copy of Crono Trigger DS. I get in line and watch a minor drama unfold.

There was a man at the till talking to a CSR, trying to buy something. The CSR was looking a little skeptically at him, and for good reason.

Let me paint you a picture. The guy is about six feet tall with a shaved head. He has scars on his forehead and some fresh wounds from what I can only assume was fistfight, as they matched the slight black eye he has. He has no facial hair but has some sunglasses resting on his head. He is wearing a worn out white sweater, custom made. The sweater has the words “It’s never as bad as it can get” around the neckline and the logo of the German SS printed on the heart. On the back, it is slightly torn with the words “Surrey Vets” on the back, and with some other writing I didn’t have time to read , but I think you get the picture.

The CSR is visibly annoyed, holding a Visa card in one hand and a cordless phone in the other. From where I was standing you could see that the card was one of those ornate jobbies, the kind with the rolling hills of green and the blue skies with cotton candy clouds printed right on the plastic, taking you away to a wonderful world where you aren’t buying a Big Mac with 15% interest tacked on. This does not please the CSR.

See, what I find out after is that the card is a fake. Clearly a fake. Not even close. I got to see it and it was a like a laminated library card with a half-assed faux hologram in the corner. So obviously the CSR calls security, manifesting in a couple of brawny chaps with ear radios and pepper spray to the rescue.

As security is asking him to leave over his protests that his card is legitimate, a few uncomfortable customers (myself included) look on and exchange glances. I’m meeting eyes with one of these when the skinhead turns to us and says “are you going to let this n****r kick me out of the store”, in a way I took to be not rhetorical. So, with security close by and with a few other customers between him and I and feeling full of sass, I answer.

“Yeah man, I was totally black before I got right with Jesus”.

His eyes met mine, his arms went slack at his sides as I struggled to maintain eye contact and a straight face. The security guards look at me for a moment as if asking why I had just asked for this to get worse. The skinhead stared at me for a few seconds, and sauntered off into the mall with security trailing behind.

So what was this Neo-Nazi buying? Which gore-fest shooter with sexual over and undertones was he so desperate for?

I guess he just wanted to get his White-Power waggle on because all he wanted was a Wii. Take that stereotypes!