I’m getting a pedicure and listening to a business podcast when my girlfriend texts me that our good friend Marla died.

It slowly hits me. I’m trying to keep my composure in a nail salon full of women and I’m the only guy and I’m trying not to cry. I goto the bank and I’m so “out of it” I deposit a check into the wrong account which creates a bunch of drama the next day.

I get home and just…break…down.

I was in San Antonio three weeks before she died. I could have seen her. But I was so busy with my son’s high school graduation and getting ready for my new company’s first sponsorship event in L.A. the day after my son’s graduation that I don’t even think about visiting my friends in San Antonio and Austin.

And I’ve missed my chance to visit Marla one last time.

I must be the worst friend ever is what I think. And then I just break down and cry while watching “3rd Rock From The Sun” and trying to laugh. It just doesn’t work. I think I’m the most horrible person on the planet.

I’m way more sad then when I almost died last summer. When I came out of my coma, tired and wondering what month it was I was actually peaceful. Business, former friends, the universe were in perspective. Even when a business associate walked away from me in mid sentence when I mentioned that I just came out of coma and rudely turned around and walked away that didn’t phase me. I was at peace of me almost dying. My family was supportive and helped me get thru it. You really know who is a friend when stressful things happen.

So I get that Marla and her close friends that lived near her helped her thru her transition to the next plane of existence. Nobody goes on Facebook and says “Hey, btw I’m dying. Just thought you should know.” No, you focus on coming to terms with it. Social media be damned.

I know she is at peace, because I’ve been there.

Approaching death is not dramatic.

It’s dramatic for everyone else. As it was for me when Marla passed and my family was when I went into coma.

I miss you Marla. You were always a good friend. And after I moved away from Austin you were always great to txt msg and see what’s up.

I wish I knew you had limited time on this realm you had so I could visit when I was next door.

But I understand that you were focusing on going to the next level and playing a new game.

I’ve been very close to that and completely understand.

Hugs my friend. Have a great time playing at the next level.

Today My Friend Died Today my friend died, I still can’t believe my eyes. It seems like my world has ended. Today my friend died, the cute face and sweet smile, keeps flashing in front of my eyes. Today my friend died, my first and last best friend. She was waiting for this day, as she had only sorrows and troubles with her. Today my friend died, the friend who cared about me, the friend who solved my problem, the friend who always fought with life. Today my friend died, and I think, I am filled with problems with no solution, a human with no confidence, today I am here with no hope, I am here today without happiness. Today my friend died, she has stepped into my life, as a spirit of mine. I cannot express how important she is to me. Today my friend died, I recall my memories with her, and cry….

by Afreen Khan

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