This journey began in middle school when I developed a sense of self consciousness about my weight. It is important for me to start here because it shows the true evolution of the how and why I am where I am today. This pertains not only with being a Vegan advocate, but within my personal growth into a woman. Even as a kid I never remembered being happy with my body, I was always comparing myself to other girls, confused as to why I was “SO overdeveloped” compared to them. I felt awkward and insecure which created a delusion that I had to be thin in order to be feminine. At the time I thought it was pretty innocent, until around eighth or ninth grade where it developed into something much more serious. I become overly obsessed with counting calories, writing down every little bit of food that entered my body, and working out with 3-4 layers of clothes. I did this as an attempt to fit the image I desired for myself. Once I entered into the tenth grade my obsession with body imagine worsened resulting in a diet of a bag of baby carrots and a yogurt most days of the week. I visited websites and youtube channels affiliated with the “thinso” life (a community built around “the beauty of being thin”). Within this community were social media accounts and videos that motivated people to starve themselves, ultimately serving as a platform to promote eating disorders. The more I followed that community, the worse I felt. I would feel light headed, trying so hard each day to function with no energy. Although on the outside I may have been losing weight I was starving myself and was living in absolute hell. Trying on clothes, going to the beach, even hanging out with friends was an ordeal for me resulting in anxiety attacks. I thought everyone saw the imagine of myself that I did. Truly, I am not sure where this compulsion with food and my body came from, but once it came, it stayed with me through my Junior year of high school.

Junior Year was the turning point for me. I hated what I was doing to myself, friends and family noticed, yet I refused to acknowledge I was in pain. I felt a demon lurking in my shadows every time I wore something tight. I felt it even worse when I would put any kind of food in my mouth. The guilt of eating overcame any emotion. I felt so trapped within myself that I didn’t think I could get out of my own vicious cycle. Curiosity eventually got to me, and I began cutting meat out of my diet in order to lose weight, even though I knew it was not for the right reason. I was desperate for anything since the methods I used in the past were doing nothing but hurting my body. At first I wasn’t sure if it would help me feel any better, but I played with the idea for months questioning if it was something I could even do (especially coming from Italian family that loves their meat). These thoughts lingered as I continued to try to get better without cutting meat out. My friend Mallory was a vegetarian at the time so I eventually reached out to her in an attempt to get more information. I wanted to know how she started, why she switched, and any tips she could offer! She was truly such a wonderful help which motivated me to commit to changing my diet, and I did.

The reason I am sharing my background is because not everyone goes into transitions the same way. For some, it is an overnight easy process. For others (like myself), it was a heartbreaking challenge. A challenge that continues to be a journey everyday as I learn and grow not only within the Vegan community, but in loving myself. I was not a person who ate small amounts of meat and dairy. For breakfast, lunch, and dinner I ate meat and dairy everyday. I truly believe that (before those compulsive eating habits developed), I ate more meat than the average person! Even my meat and dairy loving family believed my intake of salami and blocks of cheddar cheese was excessively gross. The point I am trying to reach is that people go into changing their lifestyles for many different reasons. Whether it be for their health, compassion for the animals, or for the environment, every reason is beautiful and valid. Each journey is specific and unique to every individual which makes each journey AWESOME!

Personally, I started off solely for health reasons. I was thinking I would feel better, lose weight, and be less guilty about eating if I contributed to a more compassionate lifestyle. However, little did I know I would be writing a blog three years later about how healthy and grateful this lifestyle has made me. Initially, I was not in it for the animals. It was a nice additive, but my main focus was getting better and feeling good. However, the more I learned and grew within the community, the more I realized how passionate I am about the environmental/compassionate side of the movement. Those are sides I will go into more detail with in a later post. When I eventually transitioned, I was pescatarian for a few months. This meant I did not eat chicken, cow, or pig, but did eat seafood and dairy. My mentality shifted the more I began to feel mentally and physically better. At this point, I challenged myself to go fully vegetarian as I slowly cut out different dairy products. No one in my family is vegetarian or Vegan so I took on this lifestyle head on with little to no help or support.

When people come to me and ask for tips or advice on cutting out meat, I get the impression that people think this is how I always was, but clearly that is not the case. This journey was filled with many ups and downs, which allowed me to figure out what my body needed from me. I have only been Vegan for a little under two years now. In my first year and a half I began cutting different meats out of my diet while slowly reducing my dairy consumption. I would go a week or two with no dairy just to cave into my own cravings again and again. The biggest truth to accept is that it is okay to be patient with your body and mind. Cutting out even meat is a huge lifestyle change let alone attempting to cut dairy too. Always be patient with yourself! When someone has been eating these foods their whole life, they are programmed to think that this is what they must eat to be considered “healthy”. If you fail, try again the next day and stay committed to your desires. It is okay if you “cave” sometimes, there is no reason to beat yourself up if you are truly committed to bettering your life or advocating compassionate food choices. Some people even go meatless a few times a week or go meatless everyday until dinner time. There are a variety of ways to transition without giving up or forcing yourself to make one big change overnight.

Another tip that really helped me transition with more ease was to unfollow any pages on social media that included non- Vegan food choices. If every time someone goes on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram and gets subjected to the promotion of eating cow, chicken, pig, or our little friends in the sea, the temptations can make transitioning very difficult. Overtime, the cravings will eventually go away and you will begin to crave different kinds of food as your taste buds change. Since it is helpful to unfollow non-Vegan pages, the next practical tip would be to follow more Vegan food and advocacy pages. This is a great way to gain support within the community, get awesome recipe ideas, find cool yummy restaurants, and just get more information on being Veg! Simply surrounding oneself online with people that have a common goal and interest it helps keep them held accountable, learn more, and feel supported (at least it has for me!).

I would like to make it very clear that I am not advocating for people that are struggling with an eating disorder to become Vegan or vegetarian at all. Rather, I am just speaking from personal experience as to what helped me. Everyone who had or is currently struggling with an eating disorder carries a unique struggle, a struggle specific to them and their own individual relationship with food and their body. For some, cutting out animal products is too risky and can lead to a relapse. For others, it is an outlet to join a movement with a meaning behind eating. I will always be a strong advocate for mental health. When struggling with an ED, a person’s mental and physical health is of critical importance. It is essential to ensure they are eating substance to keep their body healthy and full of energy. Every person is different and it is important that they listen to how their body is trying to communicate with them before changing their lifestyle. Remember, there is no race against time. Getting to know yourself is a constant process, and figuring out what is best for you is the biggest part of it. Sometimes the transition is fast. Sometimes it takes months or years. Any type of transition is okay as long as you are committed to the desire of feeling better and making a difference!

If you have got this far, I appreciate your time and interest in my first blog post! I am tremendously excited to keep sharing what I have learned with all of you. Please feel free to reach out to me with any questions or comments! I would love to get feedback on what I can write about next!

Quote of the week:

“Until we extend our circle of compassion to all living things, humanity will not find peace.”

-Albert Schweitzer

French Humanitarian and Philosopher