wretchedoftheearth:

sociologyscholars:

People who offer crap advice aren’t necessarily bad people. They just can’t help themselves. It’s a disease, like leukemia or sex addiction or all those Fast & Furious movies. But the obsessive compulsion to give crap advice should not make it socially acceptable. Real advice, regardless of whether it is good or bad, is a verb. It’s someone doing something. Real advice starts with “I’m going to…” Crap advice starts with “You should…”

There is a myth that people who give crap advice “mean well”. They don’t. Crap advice is a passive-aggressive mark of control; it’s an attempt at dominance. If someone is trying to get his or her novel published, and you give them the contact information for your step-mother’s brother who is a literary agent, then you mean well. Now, the advice might not work out. Maybe your step-mother’s agent brother doesn’t like your novel. Or maybe he isn’t interested in reading it. But you gave this person the information. You tried. You meant well. But if someone is trying to get his or her novel published, and you say, “You know what you should do? You should write a query letter and send it out to agents,” then you don’t mean well. Obviously, someone who has taken the time to write a novel knows that there are these things called “letters” and “agents”. And, if someone has taken the time to write a novel, I bet, even before coming to you, they’ve already sent out many query letters to agents. No, when a crap advice giver speaks, it’s a not-so-subtle way of saying, “I’m better than you. That’s why I can waste your time with pointless words. Because even though you’re not getting anything out of this conversation, it makes me feel knowledgeable and superior. So my time is being satisfied. And my time is worth more than yours.”