TUCSON, AZ—Building on his recent winning streak of two almost correctly transcribed interviews and three basically right lede paragraphs, Arizona Daily Wildcat reporter Josh DeLuca completely knocked it out the park Friday with a story that had five accurate sentences, an achievement editors say has set a new standard for the student-run publication. “Josh absolutely nailed this assignment—we send him out to cover reading requirements at the Honors College and he comes back with a 1,200-word piece that has not one, but five whole sentences presenting factual, accurately reported information,” said Daily Wildcat editor-in-chief Peter Jobanik, adding that the sentence “Dean MacCorquodale said students are expected to have read the book thoroughly before it’s time to discuss them in their seminars” is a “total slam dunk” that doesn’t misspell anyone’s name, incorrectly describe someone’s job position, misattribute a quote to the wrong person, or take a remark completely out of context. “It’s not often you see a reporter who can write multiple sentences that don’t have glaring errors or really odd and confusing phrases you have to read over and over in order to comprehend what, if anything, they are trying to say. But Josh really stepped up to the plate and turned five out of his 63 sentences into something readers can remotely understand. He really raised the bar for the rest of our reporters.” At press time, DeLuca had reportedly scored another home run with a news blurb about campus housing that only mangled two out of his three sources’ quotes.

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