UPDATE Dec 30th – The poll is closed. Click here for the wrap party.

The time is finally upon us, shitlords. Time to crown the biggest hypocrite of the year. The competition is pretty fierce. So without further ado let’s look at the contestants, presented for your consideration in alphabetical order. For anyone asking why there’s no politician’s on this list, the truth is if you include one you have to include damn near every single one, and ain’t nobody got time for that.

Brianna Wu

I am very much fucking done with pretending that Brianna Wu has anything worthwhile to say and is not a colossal attention-seeking hypocrite —

TotalBiscuit (@Totalbiscuit) January 23, 2015

Look, I’ll be honest, it’s not so much that B-Wu is a hypocrite as much as as an incredibly annoying and whiny attention whore, but then again she may very well be a straight up con artist. Brianna has pissed off a lot of people in #GamerGate and my decision to leave Anita Sarkeesian off of the list this year means Wu might be able to expect a lot of the Gator vote, but will that be enough to lead her to victory? We’ll have to wait and see. One thing I’m sure we can all agree on is a united hope that 2016 will be the year Wu finally fades into obscurity.

Clementine Ford

I’ve already covered raging hypocrite Clementine Ford in a previous post, so go there if needed because the less I have to think about Clemmy the better. I don’t think Clem has much chance of ever winning anything in her life, but who knows, she is a good bet to get the MRA vote.

Kat Blaque

Just like Ms. Ford, Kat has already had a full post devoted to her racist hypocrisy. Kat is literally an SJW feminist on steroids. If you don’t know what that means, then educate yourself. If you’re tired of people telling you to check your privilege, Kat may be the hypocrite to vote for.

Kim Davies

Here’s one for you errant SJW’s that somehow wound up on my blog. Kim Davies refused to issue marriage licenses to homosexuals. Basically like Rosa Parks, but for assholes. It also turned out she was on her 4th marriage and had cheated on her past husbands and whatnot and I dunno I don’t really follow the news but you can feel free to google it if you give a fuck.

Lyndon Perry

Who, you ask? C’mon guys! It’s me, your faithful, friendly blog poster. The OG Hypocrite himself. After compiling the list I realized I had no males, and figured I better come up with at least one to maintain my plausible deniability of non sexism. Who better than a guy that sits around judging everyone else while contributing nothing but shitty posts that he probably doesn’t even proof read half the time? If you can’t stand my hypocrisy, if you want me to stop* spamming my shitty blog all over reddit or if you’ve ever simply wanted the chance to anonymously tell me to fuck off, here it is.

*Can’t actually stop, won’t actually stop.

Stefonknee Wolscht

Covered last Sunday on the blogarino, not to mention literally everywhere else on the internet, Stef makes the list for acting the victim and setting the trans movement back about 40 years after deciding to leave her 7 children to go become a full time fetish loving perv who plays with children. I guess Stef kind of counts as a man now that I think about it but whatever, I already wrote up my section. I swear if I somehow win over this freak there really is no justice in the universe. Then again maybe being a victim of online bullying will finally convince someone to donate to my patreon.

Tess Holliday

Last but certainly not least, we have plus size model Tess Holliday. Tess deserves a post all to herself, she really does. But I’ve been too busy and time is running out, so here just check this imgur to see the vast majority of sordid details. Tess tried to placate fans by issuing an apology. And you know it’s a good apology when the first thing they do is point out what a victim they are. She had made a promise to donate a large amount of money to charity at the end of the year, and now claims she has done so, but didn’t provide any actual proof, so I guess we’ll just have to take her word for it. Seems legit.

Ok! The time has come to cast your vote. Choose wisely grasshopper. Not because this actually matters or means anything, but because anything worth doing is worth doing well.

Feel like there’s some glaring (non politician) omissions from the list? Let me know who you would’ve included in the comments!