I just watched a YouTube video in which the host, a black man, spent the best part of 8 minutes absolutely destroying black women. Ironically, he called us ‘race traitors’ then proceeded to call us bad mothers, whores and negro witches. His bone of contention was with an african-american pseudo celebrity who had mocked afro hair on national TV. He used the words of one woman as a means to completely debase an entire race of women. I found myself feeling incredibly sad because the whole thing just compounded something I have noticed more and more over the last few years. I don’t like my hair, not because it’s ‘black hair’, not because it’s ‘afro’ but because I find it hard to style and mostly time consuming. I braid it and relax it and wear weaves because I find them easier to manage and I like the versatility of them. I can have long hair one day and short hair the next. At the very most, when it comes to my hair, I’m lazy, but according to this man I am a race traitor,a self hating black woman who tries to emulate the white woman because deep down I believe they are superior to me. Why does everything have to culminate in a race war?! Doesn’t personal preference factor into it? Why is skin colour still banded around like a weapon? Worse still were the comments below from ‘proud black women’ who screamed that they would ‘never put weave in their hair’ and spat venom upon any woman who did. The air of perceived superiority in their words was almost palpable, much like my disgust.

People talk about slavery, most are still raw about it. What happened to our people has no doubt caused ripples through future generations. However, slavery is not over. With every word that we speak against each other, we enslave ourselves over and over again. Instead of bringing each other up we subjugate each other to our own misguided and ill-perceived notions of ‘blackness’. The beauty of living in the times that we do is we can exercise our fundamental right to choose. To choose how we wear our hair, how we dress, how we live our lives and no person’s choice should be vilified by the other. I keep hearing about ‘racism’, black people feeling that they are put down and kept down by other races and whilst I am not denying that it happens, in my experience the biggest enemy of black people are black people themselves. Just from reading bits and pieces on social media I see black men put down black women and call them all sorts of derogatory names and try to invalidate their beauty. I see black girls tearing strips out of each other for no good reason. Websites like WorldStarHipHop, as low brow as it may be, one just has to read the comments below to see the type of deep seated self hatred that is coursing through the black community. We mock each other, degrade each other, abuse each other and instead of getting out of the pit we choose to stay and wrestle in the mud.

Maya Angelou said ‘Prejudice is a burden that confuses the past, threatens the future, and renders the present inaccessible.’ The idea of the present being rendered inaccessible is so pertinent because we will look back on our generation and see people who rose from the ashes only to be engulfed in another ball of flames, this time of our own doing. The idea of ‘Black Pride’ has been contorted into something almost unrecognisable. In amongst those who are too busy fighting each other. We have those wearing their natural hair, exulting black culture and in the same breath putting down everyone else. We are no better than any other race or culture. The past didn’t happen so we could exhibit misguided superiority. All we were ever meant to do was stand side by side with each other and accept each other inter-race and intra-race. Until we can strike that fine balance we will always be enslaved, mentally and spiritually.