One of my sailing and drinking buddies – a redundancy if there ever was one - is a baker. Among the baked goods he produces are Bavarian pretzels.

They go well with beer, so on occasion he shares some with a friend who runs a microbrewery.

Who knew my friend was trafficking in contraband?

Not me – until I read a post on the “Joe Sixpack” beer blog.

The post concerned a set of regulations put out last week by the New Jersey Division of Alcoholic Beverage Control. The regulations clarified the rules concerning microbreweries. Here are some excerpts from Joe’s summation:

“It is illegal to make or sell coffee at a brewery. But soda is OK. To-go beer sold during off-premises events (e.g. festivals) must be warm.”

And finally: “It's OK to sell hard pretzels in a bag, but not soft pretzels.”

I decided I’d call Joe, whose real name is Don Russell. He lives in Philadelphia, where we used to work together on the Philadelphia Daily News night copy desk, consuming copious amounts of soft pretzels bought fresh from a nearby factory.

The reason you can’t consume them in a Jersey microbrewery, Russell said, stems from an aspect of New Jersey’s alcoholic-beverage laws that he termed “stupid” and “absurd” - and so on through the thesaurus.

That’s a rule that says microbreweries can serve you beer but they can’t serve you food.

Or in other words, the state wants you drink on an empty stomach, something every expert in alcohol beverage consumption says you should not do.

“It’s funny because in Pennsylvania it’s the exact opposite,” Russell said. “Around the same time, Pennsylvania passed legislation that said you can’t open a brewery unless you do have the food.”

Not in Jersey. Here the only food a microbrewery can offer along with your India Pale Ale is “de minimis” food, which is defined in the regulations as “water and single-serve, pre-packaged crackers, chips, nut and similar snacks …”

Water? That’s not a food. As for coffee, it’s just flavored water.

Russell said the regulations “were honestly written by morons in my opinion without any real sense.”

But the real problem is the 2012 revisions to the statute that modified the category of “limited licenses.”

The liquor lobby made sure that the new microbreweries would be so severely hamstrung that they could not compete with the established license-holders.

The problem with this approach is that the state’s courts have consistently ruled that the laws cannot be written or interpreted to protect liquor license holders from competition.

In a case involving new licenses that were to be created for Xanadu – now American Dream - the court rebuffed a challenge, stating that while the state can consider health and safety aspects in issuing licenses, “a desire to protect other businesses from economic competition is an impermissible consideration.”

No one seems to have told that to the acting director of the ABC, James B. Graziano.

In the press release, Graziano makes clear that the new regs were written to do just that.

“The changes made are intended to help craft breweries promote their products and build their business while continuing to balance the concerns of other licensees and ensuring compliance with state law.”

The only concern the “other licensees” have is to limit competition. Consider that requirement that six-packs must be sold warm. Everyone who knows anything about beer realizes that it is best kept cold. Otherwise it can get “skunked” – a term that needs no explanation.

So what is the point of requiring that it be sold warm? Not the health or safety of the consumer. He can buy cases and cases of cold beer at the liquor store.

Nope, the point is to prevent the owner of the liquor store from having to compete.

The ABC has been aiding in that effort for its entire existence.

To give credit where it’s due, this set of regulations is better than the set put out by Graziano’s predecessor, Dave Rible. Those were written to strangle the baby microbrew industry in its regulatory crib, if I may mix my metaphors the way the governor does.

But the real blame lies with the Legislature. For more than two decades, our legislators have been rigging the market against an industry that has been creating jobs and revitalizing urban areas in other states.

Russell says it’s time for New Jersey to catch up with the 20th century – now that we’re in the 21st.

“There’s been a gigantic change in the brewing industry all over the country,” he said. “People have discovered they really want that experience of going to the brewery and drinking in the brewery.”

Some of them might even prefer a warm pretzel right out of the oven with a cold beer.

For that, they’ll have head over the Delaware.

ADD - “STAKEHOLDERS” IS JUST ANOTHER WORD FOR CRONIES

Here’s an excerpt from that press release put out by the ABC. Notice who was left out of the consideration of this policy?

“We spent months meeting with stakeholders and listening to their concerns, especially the very few, very vocal licensees who felt their views were not adequately represented in the extensive stakeholder discussions we held prior to drafting and issuing the first Special Ruling,” said James B. Graziano, Acting Director of the Division of Alcoholic Beverage Control. “The Special Ruling issued today includes important changes that address key issues raised in these recent discussions. The changes made are intended to help craft breweries promote their products and build their business while continuing to balance the concerns of other licensees and ensuring compliance with state law.”

That’s right: The public.

If I may translate the above from the Trentonese, “stakeholders” is an insider term for “cronies.”

It’s funny how we the public never have a seat at the table when they’re deciding what we can and can’t buy with our hard-earned dollars.

It’s funnier still that the director of the ABC is admitting in print that he considered the views of the current holders of liquor licenses. Their only interest is in preventing competition. They should not have a seat at the table for the simple reason that it’s none of their business what microbreweries do. The license-holders can still sell their products. Why should the state prohibit others from selling their products?

When you hear the term “crony capitalism,” realize that this is a perfect case.

UNBELIEVABLE!

A commenter noted this site where the State of New Jersey encourages people to “Sip Your Way Through the Garden State.”

After doing its best to hound these brewers into bankruptcy, the state is encouraging out-of-staters to visit them. Note how the tourism people don’t brag about the limited hours, the lack of food or the requirement that they sell warm beer.