Mentors are not always well known people who work in the same field as the people they are mentoring. They can be family members or others who serve as moral and character guides. Herb Kelleher, founder and chairman of Southwest Airlines, was mentored by his mother Ruth, who told him, “Respect people for who they are, not for what their titles are.”

Before you look for a mentor, consider the following.

Before you consider looking for a mentor, you have to visualize your future. Where do you see yourself down the road in five, 10, or 15 years? What kind of work are you doing? What kind of a person have you become? Realize that every worthwhile accomplishment has started out as a dream in someone’s mind. After you have your future goals fixed in your mind, ask yourself who would be the best person to serve as your guide on your journey? What kind of help would be of most benefit to you? Is it technical knowledge, business acumen, or personal guidance? A mentor can serve all these purposes, but usually one is predominant.

Before moving on to what you think your mentor needs to know, think of the kind of person he or she needs to be. Do you have respect for them as a person apart from what they know? Would you be pleased to have them as part of your family? If the answer to these questions is no, look elsewhere. Even though they may be highly knowledgeable, intelligent and technically brilliant, your subconscious may have a hard time accepting any advice or ideas that come from them. A good mentor should always leave you feeling positive and inspired.

In order to grow, we need to make our own decisions and mistakes. A good mentor will allow us to do both. He or she will never tell us what we should or need to do. Instead they will offer and share ideas based on their own experiences. They will freely offer what has or hasn’t worked for them and leave it up to you as to whether you take their advice. Take from them what is valuable to you and leave the rest.

In order for feedback to be worthy from anyone, it must be honest and forthright. As well as giving you praise when your mentor thinks you have done something well, it is equally important that they challenge and encourage you to accomplish more when you are struggling. A good mentor does not get upset or angry when you don’t follow their advice. They are not ego driven and don’t see your success or failure as a direct reflection on their mentoring skills. They accept and know that, like themselves, you are your totally responsible for your own success and failure in life.