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Dear Scott Walker,

You won. On Election Day I got to witness firsthand how well your system of voter ID works.

Your new policies prevented an older woman in Spooner from committing voter fraud with an expired ID. Most of us in line to vote and probably all six poll workers knew her well, but right is right. Her card had expired. She does suffer from some medical issues, and she has difficulties finding transportation, but that only makes it all the more important for someone like her to learn to think ahead and ask for help.

I’m also pretty sure — she is a rather vocal woman and shares her political beliefs freely — that had she been able to commit her fraudulent act, she would have voted Democratic. She does have those previously mentioned medical issues, and we all know how people with medical problems just want things for free, like access to health care. But I’ll be damned if I want to pay for someone just because they get sick. I’m not sick. I take care of myself.

Luckily, this woman didn’t have a car so she couldn’t drive herself to the local DMV office and get a new ID. Besides, you had already thought of this possibility, and the DMV office that opened in our town to help make it easier for people to get voter ID cards was closed today. Nobody will ever accuse you of not thinking ahead. More people should be like you, Scott.

In addition, this would-be criminal was also appropriately humiliated in front of the long line of people that she knows. That’ll show her and any of the onlookers what will happen if you don’t follow the rules, which, admittedly, are a little complicated, but voting is not, and should not be, for dumb people.

Anyway, Scott Walker, I’m looking forward to the day when this voter ID system works even more flawlessly, keeping all the riffraff out, not just one little old northern Wisconsin Democrat and a few stray pot-smoking college students, and only rich white people will be allowed to vote. (You’re not planning on ever excluding women, right?) Thank you for making America great again! Democracy is overrated.

Eva Apelqvist is a writer and translator who lives in Spooner.