So when we last left Lacie Juan she was cutting Cornelia Goth’s lunch, that is to say…

Lacie: I’ll take your maaann *finger click*

Ahhh I missed you; Oh, Trashy one.

So just out of nowhere Gunther starts to argue with Lacie.

Gunther: I really hate foam hands… and you’re a rabid sports fan, so you probably wear one… GLERG!@#$@#$

Lacie: Aww hell to the no… You hat wearin, beard growin, long haired… You look like Jesus if he had an obsession with “A clock work orange.” I should just…

Hold up Lacie, if your moochin ass wants a free meal ticket you should be nice to the guy you just found out is OBSCENELY RICH… EH? EH?

Internal conflict; Lacie really wants to sock this guy in the well conditioned, hat adorned head but she decides to make him rue the day he yelled at her by flirting with someone else.

So she walks up to mutton chops here.

Lacie: What’s your name boy? What’s your sign?

Gunther: *Pretending not to notice*

And for the whole conversation he was disagreeing with everything

Lacie: Meh, haters gonna hate, I’m sure I’ve made Gunther jealous though.

Of course knowing Lacie she’s not nearly done…

Oh would you look at that, she introduced herself to a charming blonde man named Dustin Langerak, who looks like he forgot to put on his big boy pants today,

Lacie: All I did was shake his hand, look at that thought bubble, he’s waaay too excited… NEXT!!!!!!

Next Lacie met a seemingly charming young vampire named Xander Clavell.

He too forgot his big boy pants…

Lacie: You can tell you’re in a high class joint when all the men are wearing shorts.

Well go to another bar then, oh wait… there isn’t another bar… oh well looks like you’re stuck with Charlie Sheen wannabes

Lacie: Without the money though…

Well yeah…

So despite dressing like a Westlife reject and …WEARING NO SHOES?!?! What kind of bar is this????

Anyway, Lacie decides there must be a silver lining to this man with the side wards hat and no shoes.

Lacie: So, what do you do for a job?

Xander: Oh, I’m on the path to being a criminal, but I’m just a decoy at the moment.

Lacie: Really? Why would you tell me that? Just casually mention to a complete stranger that you’re a criminal? … I just… I can’t believe you’re telling me upfront… I’m so…

Barkeep: It’s 1am people, I don’t care where you go but you can’t stay here.

Oh thank god, saved by the bell eh Lacie? You’d better book it before someone else divulges their innermost secrets.

Lacie: My goooodddddd Xander is a drop kick… *has a panic attack*

Dude, take a pill of the chill variety.

Lacie: Why is every sim psychotic, taken or just really dumb?

Says the woman having a highly animated panic attack at the front of the bar after closing time….

The next morning, it’s a beautiful day, Lacie is contemplating whom to call up on a date, that’s right, you heard me… We’re desperadoes in Spring Valley.

Lacie: Hey , you take what you can get…

Never mind that she’s taking out the rubbish… in a very expensive lingerie set… Don’t ruin your stockings on the floor Lacie…

Lacie: Eeeewwww bin juice…

Charming… lucky she doesn’t own a washing machine, her clothes just go to another realm in a spinning vortex that surrounds her when she changes.

Any way, Lacie finally decided who sucked the least out of that bunch, find out who she calls up to go out on a date with in the next episode of The Strumpet Legacy.