ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

TEST CRICKETER Peter Siddle has urged the current crop of young Australian pacemen that they’re not consuming the correct amount of bananas that a fast bowler should be consuming.

The 31-year-old has hinted that this could be the very reason why the nation’s Test team has been plagued by injury and pace bowler breakdowns in recent series.

“You see, these young lads are hitting the wall too early on in an innings because they’re not consuming enough bananas,” he said. “The key to victory is bananas.”

“Even Warney ate a lot of bananas. Mind you, it was in bread form and typically accompanied by a Peter Stuyvesant and a mocha, but he was still getting his daily banana quota,”

“There’s a long summer ahead of the lads, the POMs are fucked at the moment but they’re some of the toughest competitors out there. If our boys aren’t eating their bananas, then our Test campaign will go pear-shaped… even though we’ve already won,” he said.

Mr Siddle called for Cricket Australia to provide the yellow fruit to players free of charge, in an effort to kickstart the healthy habit of consuming 17 bananas a day.

However, he stopped short of suggesting that bananas alone can guarantee victory out in the middle, saying that bananas should be ‘the foundation for a healthy lifestyle.’

More to come.