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WITH the current government teetering on the brink of collapse and the leadership of Enda Kenny dangling perilously by a thread, eyes have turned to Leo Varadkar who stands to become not just the next Taoiseach of the country, but the first openly gay Taoiseach, which is nice.

With Varadkar, the current Minister For Social Protection, towing the line that Enda Kenny’s reign as Taoiseach is rock-solid and not going anywhere, it’s clear that Enda Kenny’s reign as Taoiseach is on incredibly shaky ground and going away very soon, with the charismatic Varadkar the most likely successor.

Although the cronyism, scandals and ‘cute-hoor’ politics that have plagued this nation since its inception look unlikely to vanish with the appointment of Varadkar as Taoiseach, political commentators have stressed that Ireland will be one of the very few countries in the world with an openly gay leader, which makes Ireland a progressive, right-minded nation, despite what might appear to be a mountain of evidence to the contrary.

“With an openly gay Taoiseach, Ireland is showing the world that we’re just smashing,” said one FG representative.

“All we need to do is brush over the whistleblower scandal and the years of political ineptitude that lead to Enda Kenny being muscled out, and also the fact that Fine Gael are about to be kicked up and down the road in the next General Election so we’re not going to have our openly gay Taoiseach for very long… but still, won’t it be something, eh?”

Meanwhile a Red C poll has revealed that the public ‘couldn’t give a naggin of horsepiss’ whether the next Taoiseach is gay, straight, Chinese, or a trained chimp, as long as they ‘do their fucking job’.