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But by all means, keep helping motherfuckers make potato salad instead.

If you thought the cost of living was expensive, you haven't lived until you've had to pay for the cost of a death. Expensive funerals aside, there's also all these minor details and decisions about the funeral you have to make. What kind of food are you serving? What kind of coffin are you using? Where are you disposing of the ashes? How are you notifying people about the funeral? And how the hell are you supposed to decide on what sort of music to play?

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The first Arcade Fire album?

Also, I was surprised to find that laying someone to rest is a lot like a wedding, in that my dad's friends got really mad that I didn't "invite" them to his funeral. For starters, who needs an invitation to a funeral? Further, who in the Hell is selfish enough to get mad when they don't receive one? Was I supposed to create a Facebook event for it or something? It's hard enough trying to get over the shock that your parent just died; now you suddenly become a party host. This is one of the most awkward things you'll do in your life, and if I had it my way, I would've flaked on both my parents' funerals.