Alejandro on Lucy



What were you hoping for?

The Daenerys to my Jon Snow (minus the incest).

First impressions?

Fashionably late, great leather jacket, good fun.

What did you talk about?

The sexiest member of the Tory front bench (Philip Hammond, apparently), her thesis: the media’s depiction of female torturers at Abu Ghraib.

Any awkward moments?

No, despite offering constructive criticism on one another’s Hinge profiles.

Good table manners?

A separatist piece of miso cod may briefly have escaped her plate at one point, otherwise, flawless.

Best thing about Lucy?

Excellent chat, including the revelation that she wore a beret to primary school.

Would you introduce her to your friends?

Of course.

Describe Lucy in three words

Effervescent, anti-coriander, imperceptibly northern.

What do you think she made of you?

Insufficiently Latino, given my name, but not entirely disagreeable.

Did you go on somewhere?

No, we both had early starts ahead.

And... did you kiss?

No.

If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?

For the restaurant not to have sold out of chilli and lime glazed calamari – it sounded fantastic.

Marks out of 10?

7.

Would you meet again?

As friends, absolutely.

Lucy on Alejandro



What were you hoping for?

My future husband. Failing that, something different to the usual Tinder/Bumble/Hinge date.

First impressions?

More American and less Spanish than expected, based on his first name!

What did you talk about?

How sexy Putin is on horseback, whether Jeremy Corbyn or Theresa May is more attractive, feminism, podcasts about serial killers.

Any awkward moments?

I’m not sure he appreciated me taking the mickey out of him for almost choosing quinoa as his main. Also, on the walk to the tube he started talking about performing CPR rectally (he’s an ex-doctor).

Good table manners?

Impeccable.

Best thing about Alejandro?

He’s driven and passionate.

Would you introduce him to your friends?

I think they’d scare him off.

Describe Alejandro in three words

Intelligent, talkative and engaging.

What do you think he made of you?

A sarcastic northerner.

Did you go on somewhere?

It became apparent that the evening wasn’t going to continue when he ordered a cappuccino instead of a second bottle of sauvignon.

And... did you kiss?

We did not.

If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?

I would’ve got stuck into the dessert menu.

Marks out of 10?

6.

Would you meet again?

I’m afraid not, I think we’re looking for different things.

• Lucy and Alejandro ate at Village East, London SE1.

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