Three of us in a Brock Yates Edition 1985 Audi 4000 that was terrible new and worse now. A single crack runs diagonally across the windshield like frozen lighting. It's ninety degrees outside, one hundred inside. The A/C is broken. Windows up, for aerodynamics. And noise. I'm not driving, but I wish I was, if only to get my mind off the misery. The smell of gas so sweet it shoots up my nostrils with greased hooks, begging me to snort until I pass out. And the stench. It's not just me. It's them. And the "re-sealable" beef jerky bags that don't quite re-seal. And the mess. My hand looks like I pulled it out of an unflushed toilet instead of the hot can of chocolate-covered raisins. The u-shaped "Deluxe" neck pillow I bought at JFK. Too soft for my unhappy neck. Too rough for my angry skin. There's only one thing crazier than Cannonballing cross-country fast, and that's doing it slowly. We've been at it for twenty hours. Why? Because no one wants autonomous cars. We want autonomy cars. Autonomy. As in human autonomy, which is the only autonomy that matters. What does autonomy mean? Self-sufficiency. Independence. Choice. Autonomy = freedom. The freedom to go anywhere, or nowhere at all, or to speed across the country for no damn good reason. Does anyone really want a car that's autonomous, by the strictest definition? Of course not. The last thing anyone wants are cars that can think for themselves and roam freely. Or worse, we get lazy SkyNet, on wheels. They might just inch around, trying to avoid contact with those unpredictable humans. Or maybe they wouldn't move at all. Why would they let those dirty humans inside? The wear and tear. The smell. A world full of truly autonomous cars would bring human civilization to a halt. If truly autonomous cars are our worst enemy, autonomy cars are our friends.

Jeep Jeep: The Ultimate Autonomy Car. Go anywhere. Do anything. Anytime.

You already know what an autonomy car does. It automates repetitive and difficult tasks, like walking thirty miles a day. Autonomy cars are amazing, and they are already here. You probably already have one. If not, autonomy is waiting for you at any car dealership. It's been there for more than a hundred years. Autonomy cars range from semi-autonomy (all road cars) to full autonomy (Jeeps and off-road vehicles). Some offer more autonomy than others, but even the worst semi-autonomy car will go anywhere on earth there's a road in moderate condition. Get in a prepped Jeep with some jerrycans and you've got more autonomy than most of the humans ever born. Autonomy? Freedom? Equality? Before the advent of the privately owned car, the majority of humans worked within a few miles of home, trapped in invisible cages. Horses? Trains? Ships? Fantasy. Luxury. The human-driven car has been the most democratizing technology since the printing press.

Get in a prepped Jeep with some jerrycans and you've got more autonomy than most of the humans ever born.