Jeffrey Gentry

The News Journal

Gentlemen ... I beg your forgiveness. I have failed the club and given away one of our secrets to the other gender.

It was an accident – but it did happen, and I immediately regretted it.

It started as a simple conversation about laundry, and a co-worker said her husband tried to do laundry once and poured in bleach, instead of detergent. That was the last time he was allowed to do laundry.

That's when I slipped and gave it away.

"You know he did it on purpose, right?" I said. "We always mess up a task y'all have us doing that we don't want to do. Then we don't have to do it again."

Whoops. I knew immediately I had failed my brothers around the world. I accept your punishment.

But now that our trick is revealed, I need to bare my soul and lighten the load on my heart.

Ladies, do you remember that time you asked him to weed the front flower bed and he pulled out some prized irises and lilies? Not a mistake.

And then there was the time you asked him to hang pine rope on the porch railing at Christmas and he used duct tape to do it. And the gray at that, not even the camouflage. Perfectly executed maneuver on his part.

How about when you asked him to stop on his way home from work and pick up some of those things we don't speak of and he bought super maxi when you specifically said slims? He knew what he was doing. You'd never ask for that favor again, and he'd be forever grateful you wouldn't.

But I have a suspicion some of you ladies were already beginning to figure out our game. You know how much we like to be right and figured out we would mess something up only so many times before it would start killing us to keep doing it wrong.

You just had to wait us out. Touché. You are very smart, my friends. Very, very smart.

Gentlemen, we need to up our game.

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