If you’re anything like me, then from time to time you’re going to, ahh, let’s just say accidentally, smack into something with your car. And, again, like me, sometimes that something is going to be a person. It may come as a surprise, but this sorta thing is frowned upon in most areas. “Serious consequences” can result, I’m told. But fear not! There’s always a way out. All you need is a probable cover story:

Explain that the person you struck was on fire. You didn’t have a blanket to smother the flames so you fell back on the next best thing- your car. Suggest that you should be awarded a medal for your bravery.

Blame the whole thing on your evil twin. Say he ran off after the accident. Keep some photos of yourself with a fake mustache on hand to throw them off even further. But what if you already have a mustache? Then blame it on your good twin. Just magic marker out the ‘shache in the pics.

Argue that THEY hit YOU. From your perspective, you were sitting perfectly still in the seat of your car while the world around you slid by. Then suddenly, from outta nowhere, this stranger came careening through your windshield. Make up some bogus math to support your claim, or some real math if you’re into that sorta thing. Either way, most judges don’t have degrees in physics so you should be fine.