Let's talk about the benefits of men doing chores. (With science!) But while we're discussing the intricacies of housework, don't forget about those dirty dishes over there. (Seriously. Just clean them.)



A new study shows that fathers who do an equal amount of household chores are more likely to have ambitious daughters. Alyssa Croft of the University of British Columbia, researcher and author of the study, says her research "suggests [that] girls grow up with broader career goals in households where domestic duties are shared more equitably by parents."

In other words, Croft says, "How parents treat their domestic duties appears to play a unique gatekeeper role" for how girls envision their own lives.



This study feels particularly resonant now after my daughter mentioned to me casually a couple of months ago that, when she grew up, she was going to be a daddy, not a mommy. I told her that was fine, and asked if there was a reason she wanted to be a daddy. Her reply? "Well," Layla said, "I don't want to be a mommy because they have to go grocery shopping and take kids to doctor's appointments."

Yikes.

My husband and I work toward an equitable split of domestic work, but Layla’s brutal aside made us realize that we needed to do a bit better. Now we know it's important not just because we're trying to model an equal relationship for her, but because we want more from Layla's professional future as well.



Of course, this is but one convincing argument for men to hold up their end at home – who, after all, doesn't want her daughter growing up with a wide range of goals and ambitions? But there are others: surely, men and women have not forgotten the compelling and long-touted study that women find men who do housework "sexy". (Indeed, that whole idea is sizzling up again in the Daily Mail.)



But here's a thought: instead of trying to get men to do their fair share of work in the home by reminding them that it will bode well for their daughters (or that it might get them laid at the end of the day), how about they do just do it already? I know it's super-radical, but perhaps men should do the dishes not because of a potential sociological impact on their female offspring, but because the dishes are dirty and women aren't the only ones who eat dinner off of them.



It's not news that American women still do the vast majority of work in the home: a report from the Bureau of Labor Statistics shows that, while 82% of women do some form of housework, cooking, lawn care or financial household management in an average day, only 65% of men do. When it comes to chores like cleaning or laundry, only 20% of men partake. This doesn't even take into account the abysmal statistics regarding the gender breakdown around child care. (I'm sure you can guess who does the bulk of that.)

So it strikes me as odd, given the unassailable facts on how unequal this breakdown is, that we're endlessly grasping for nuanced reasons to convince men in hetero-partnerships to do chores. Do them because fair is fair! (And please, spare me the lines about how women just prefer a cleaner house or are better at ironing. Enough of that sexist bunk.)

This isn't to say I don't appreciate the studies like this one that show the demonstrable impact men's participation in the domestic sphere has on children. The messages we give our daughters are important – though I might argue that, instead of pointing out the way chore-happy dads make for ambitious daughters, we could mention that seeing dad being a lazy jerk who lets mom do all the laundry makes girls think that they’re bound for the same daily drudgery.

Still, there's a certain foolishness to performing research to convince men of the importance of fairness and equity around chores. Just do it. Stop complaining. It's as if women are so run down from the debate – probably from all that fucking laundry and vacuuming – that we don't even consider asking men to do their share because it's the right thing to do.