Fake Indian speak with forked tongue — again!

What other conclusion can you draw from this latest controversy over her ever-evolving autobiography, this chapter involving the end to her public school teaching career, almost a half-century ago?

Which account should we have more confidence in — Fauxcahontas’ current campaign stump speech, or the exact opposite, namely, what she herself said on video in 2007, backed by school board minutes from 1971, contemporaneous newspaper accounts and her former colleagues’ recollections.

The preponderance of evidence seems to be that, as one wag put it yesterday, she’s putting the “lie” back in Lieawatha.

Her campaign brags that the fake Indian has a plan for everything, most of which involve a) higher taxes, b) reduced freedom for Americans or c) both.

Here’s an idea for another new Warren plan: telling the truth about her past.

According to her latest, updated fictitious biography, the fake Indian was fired from her first post-college job, as a special-ed teacher in New Jersey — “shown the door,” as she put it.

Of course, as she has risen in the polls — mainly due to the weaknesses of her fellow septuagenarian candidates, Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders — she has again begun to, uh, fine-tune the narrative.

Even the Democrat stenographers at See BS News noticed how the tall tale about leaving her teaching job keeps changing, noting that by late summer “Warren was telling the same story about the principal without the part about him showing her the door.”

When See BS inquired about the latest… evolution, the fake Indian claimed she “actually hadn’t noticed” that she no longer actually claims she was fired.

Really? Does anyone know what the Cherokee word for “Pinocchio” is?

Now she says the principal “wished me luck and hired someone else for the job.”

Of course, in 2007, on video, she told a totally different story about briefly teaching in 1970-71 on an “emergency certificate.” Then she went back to grad school to get her necessary credentials but decided, “’I don’t think this is going to work out for me.’ I was pregnant with my first baby, so I had a baby and stayed home for a couple of years.”

Now, she changed her story because after being elected to the Senate she decided to “open up” about her past.

“Open up?” Surely she meant to say she decided to “make up” her past.

However, The Washington Free Beacon discovered the minutes of a meeting of the local school board from April 1971 showing that her contract had been renewed. Two months later, the board minutes show, her resignation “effective June 30, 1971 was accepted with regret.”

Being a special-ed teacher is tough, and it’s easy to understand why she came to the conclusion that, as she put it, “I don’t think this is going to work out for me.”

But an honorable person doesn’t cast herself as a victim when she made the decision herself to quit. As she herself put it on videotape before she began running for president:

“So I had a baby and stayed home for a couple of years, and I was really casting about, thinking, ‘What am I going to do?’ My husband’s view of it was, ‘Stay home. We have children, we’ll have more children, you’ll love this.’ And I was very restless about this.”

Presumably the principal is now dead, unable to defend himself. Kind of like the old law school prof whom she accused of “lunging” at her, after remembering him fondly 20 years earlier at his memorial service, amused that someone who had survived polio, an iron lung and struggles with a walker would try to touch her.

Once #metoo got going, she said she was terrified of the old “cripple,” as he described himself, had thought about punching him in the face and “shook” when she got back to her office.

But then, this is a woman who has gone from white to Native American back to not only white, but “Okie down to her toes.”

This is a woman who lifts haute-cuisine French recipes from a New York Times chef and claims they came from her Cherokee ancestors. (Cold crab omelet – a favorite of noted sachems the Duke and Duchess of Windsor and Noel Coward.)

Funny, isn’t it, how the two Democrat front-runners have both “reinvented” their life stories, the difference being, Joe Biden reimagines himself as a Walter Mitty-esque hero, and Liz Warren paints herself as a complete victim.

And they both want to be the next Great White Father. From George Washington, who couldn’t tell a lie, to Elizabeth Warren, who couldn’t tell the truth, to Joe Biden, who can’t tell the difference.

Check out Howie’s latest podcasts at dirtyratspodcast.com.