Maybe we ought to rethink this whole “Friday news dump” principle, given the most frequent topic of conversation over the most social weekend of the year?

Yes, we should. If not for the sake of damage-controlling politicians, at least for the sake of those of us who come back into the office on Monday and are expected to be funnier than your funny friend was when you were all drunk and happy on Saturday night.

But here at the L we have a big “Win the Cycle” sign above our door that we ritualistically tap as we enter the office. And we’ve noticed that everybody seems to have their own theory as to why Sarah Palin resigned — it’s a fucking cage match of competing narratives, with media outlets trying even harder than the Palin camp to push their stotyline, or at least cover them all as a way of maintaining ownership over this pageview clusterfuck.

So, please help the L win this story! After the jump, we’ve assembled our best guesses as to The Real Reason Behind Sarah Palin’s resignation; it would be really great if you could pick one or two of these to start repeating as inside dope or outright fact to everyone you speak to.

(Needless to say, none of these would really make any less sense than whatever the real reason is.)

The Real Reason for Sarah Palin’s resignation:

1. According to rumors in Alaskan political circles, the FBI was about to announce that they were investigating allegations that, as mayor of Wasilla, Palin had used government funds to pay for the