My husband and I have just moved to a new town and we are unfamiliar with the area. He is driving and I’m using my phone for the GPS to find a local grocery store when my husband’s friend calls him.

Husband: “Hey, [Friend]! What’s up?” *To me* “Where do I turn?”

Me: “You want [Street] at the next exit.”

I point at the sign.

Husband: “Okay.” *To his friend* “Yeah, it’s great. We’re adjusting. The weather is a little warmer than—”

Me: “This exit, [Husband].”

He doesn’t move over to the exit lane.

Me: “This exit!”

I pull on his sleeve to get his attention.

Husband: “Don’t pull on me! I’m driving! Where am I going?”

Me: *Frustrated* “The exit we just passed.”

Husband: “You should have said something.” *To his friend* “No, [My Name] is just getting us lost.”

Me: “You missed the exit!”

Husband: “What’s next?” *To his friend* “Go on, [Friend].”

Me: “Take this exit coming up.”

I point at the next exit.

Me: “How about you get off the phone until we get there?”

Husband: “I’m fine. This exit?”

Me: “Yeah, then a right at the end, and [Grocery Store] is two miles down.”

Husband: *Laughing at his friend* “Yeah, that’s dumb.” *To me* “Left?”

Me: “Right.”

Husband: “I’m pretty sure it’s left.”

Me: “It was a left if you went off the correct exit. Now it’s a right. Pull over; I’ll drive and you can gab.”

Husband: “I’ve got it.”

He turns left.

Me: “I said right. You need to focus. Hang up.”

Husband: “It’s fine. I can see [Grocery Store]; we just have to turn around.”

He makes a left at the next stop sign and finds himself going the wrong way down a street with a grass divider between the lanes. A car is approaching, blaring the horn.

There’s a gap in the divider and he turns right, putting him in the correct lane. We are nearly hit by a truck going down that lane and I feel my heart jump into my throat. He, too, blares his horn.

The entire time, my husband is unbothered, still on the phone.

Finally, we pull into the parking lot.

Husband: “All right, man, I gotta go. We’re gonna shop. Yeah, I’ll talk to you later.” *To me* “Why is everyone such a**holes here?”

Me: *Still shaken* “You’re an a**hole! You went the wrong way and almost got us killed!”

Husband: “I was following your directions!”

I walked away and grabbed a grocery cart. At the end of our trip, he was loading the groceries in the car and I took the keys from his pocket, insisting I would drive. We got back to the house and he still refused to believe that he hadn’t been paying attention.