Writing my erotic fantasies helps me to connect with other fetishists

Photo by Himesh Kumar Behera on Unsplash

I have been an author of all things erotica and romance for a couple of years now. I first started writing as a goof while I was a little lonely living abroad and it was a habit that stayed with me. I write all sorts of things, and unlike other writers who focus on feeding the market exactly what it seems to want, I write things because they’re of interest to me.

Writing things like age play, clown porn, and tickle fetishes isn’t what most people think pays the bills, but it pays my bills. It allows me to have my own place and to have the freedom to keep writing what I want when I want. I am very happy with my erotica-funded lifestyle.

There is something else that erotica and romance authors don’t talk about nearly enough, however. Something that is important, and which keeps me going more than the smut bucks do.

It’s the connection I can form with my readers. There’s nothing better than having a regular chat with someone who you know shares your dirty, dirty fantasies. There’s nothing as awesome when you have sexual tastes as colorful as mine, as meeting people who share them. Knowing there are people out there who love all the same twisted and unusual stuff that you do.

Once, I had someone write to me after reading my clown erotica. The guy was yet another person who told me it frustrated him how little people seemed to understand about this fetish, yet there were plenty of porn studios making films with clowns in them. Although my erotica was written and he would prefer a porn vid, it had hit the mark for him in that it was exactly what he needed. He wondered, he said, if I could make some clown porn movies.

I had turned him down, thinking of how fun — and hot — those movies could be to make, but that I really didn’t think it was a good idea.

Then we kept talking. We kept talking about our unusual fetishes, but also about other things too. My reader had very different political views to me and we would have long debates and philosophical discussions that would last hours. I really looked forward to his emails and even found myself sending a follow-up email or two when he was slow to respond to some of my more divisive emails.

Then one day through email he told me how he liked to make things for his friends, custom things.

“What do you make?” I asked him.

“I build models on my 3D printer.” He told me.

“Really? What sort of models?” I asked, imagining something clown-themed, but he had a few other ideas. He told me what they were and I thought they all sounded great but when he asked me if I would like something, I told him I would only like one of them.

“Can you make me a dragon egg?” I asked, excited at the time.

“I could make you a dragon egg.” He wrote me back, “where do I post it?”

I told him an address — my PO Box which I generally use for all ‘business’ mail, and he sent the dragon egg to me in the post. It arrived and I put it up on my shelf. The thing lights up, which I love.

Although this seems like a small thing — someone making something on a 3D printer and gifting it to me — it was huge for me, that someone who I didn’t know was inspired to reach out, then to offer me a gift as a way of saying thank you for my work, but also because he was a kindred spirit who understood the odd way I have of looking at the world.

And when you write erotica which you love, odd little fetish stories littered with your own personality and humor, there’s nothing better than having someone who understands that — someone who understands you through your work — reaching out with something special, their friendship.

The dragon egg, holding up some of my books. Photo by me, of course.

Or, their fandom. But, no writer ever talks about their fans. That feels like something for actors or singers.

We still love y’all, even if we can’t tell you directly. You who share similar dirty secrets to us, and who celebrate those shared secrets by buying our books and directly supporting us on medium and through email so we can keep doing this thing that we do.

Thank you for your ongoing support guys, it’s the gift you give me every day that allows me to keep doing what I love!