Dr. Eates: Thank you for agreeing to speak with me, SCP-4869. Is there a particular way you'd like to be addressed? I understand you have an identity that you've been sharing with some of the staff.

SCP-4869: Yes, my name is David. Doctor David Weller.

Dr. Eates: And you are a doctor of…?

SCP-4869: I have a Ph.D. in Physics from UC Berkley.

Dr. Eates: Ah, Cal. Go Bears. I'm a Cal State Fullerton man myself.

SCP-4869: Small world. If I may, what's yours in? Your doctorate, I mean.

Dr. Eates: Mechanical and Electrical Engineering, but I'm actually here to interview you.

SCP-4869: Ah, I suppose I'm the science project here.

Dr. Eates: What is the last thing you remember before waking up in the lab?

SCP-4869: Well, it's a bit fuzzy. I was at home on my laptop, lying in bed, trying to run sorting algorithms on a dataset. I'd been collecting data on the angular momentum of near earth objects for use within some orbital mechanics models Ph.D. candidates were working on. The exciting life of an academic…

Dr. Eates: That sounds rather dry but otherwise harmless. Did you notice anything strange, feel anything bizarre that might have alerted you to odd things happening? A strange physical sensation like sudden onset nausea, or perhaps an acute feeling of dread?

SCP-4869: No, not at all. Nothing like that. I was simply tired and working later than I should have been like four out of every five days. Just closed my eyes for a little bit and the next thing I know I was here. I remember coming to, not being able to see, and a burning in my chest like I was drowning and struggling for air. But as the blur subsided and the burning gave way, I saw the men and women in lab coats. Those folks that put me in this jar looking at me with grotesque fascination through the distortions in the glass.

Dr. Eates: I hope you can understand that was an innocent and natural reaction, not a calculated one. Can you describe the differences in sensation you're feeling right now?

SCP-4869: I'm aware I'm a brain in a jar if that's what you're asking. The biggest difference is that I don't really have any distinct sense of orientation. Every part of me feels simultaneously right side up and upside down. It's extraordinarily bothersome. If I could walk, I'd imagine I would be stumbling everywhere right now.

Dr. Eates: Speaking of legs, do you have a connection to any other parts of your body? What other sensations are you feeling?

SCP-4869: I'm not sure how to answer that. I can feel my chest rising and falling as I breathe, I can feel my own voice reverberating in my ears as we talk. My body, all of it, all the memories of what I should feel are within me. Reality simply doesn't align with my perception, that's all. Maybe I'm merely recalling the sensation, I don't know…

Dr. Eates: So you're saying that this feels natural for you?

SCP-4869: Come on, Doc. How many times have you become a brain in a jar before? I know I've never done it, so imagine my surprise to suddenly be one. I'm freaked out in every applicable sense. I ran through the whole checklist of things; How am I talking, how am I breathing, how am I thinking without a body? And a million and one more questions over the last however-long before you've had me here. Eventually, it's all kind of mushed together and I'm not even sure where to go from here. Don't know what to answer first. I'm stunned.

Dr. Eates: Have you tried any metaphysical exercises such as willing it to be different? Or advanced meditation techniques?

SCP-4869: Constantly trying, well, aside from this very minute. The only thing on my mind right now is that someone really needs to feed my cats. I've got two of them. Both calicos. And if my body is back there in my apartment, I'd rather the cats get fed before they turn desperate enough to nibble on me. 3141 Flecker Street, Pasadena.

Dr. Eates: You didn't mention the animals before. We'll go check on that right now.

SCP-4869: Thanks, Doctor Eates. I've had a lot on my mind.

Dr. Eates: Of course, Doctor Weller.