Family vacations can be a time for bonding and building lasting memories, but when young children are involved, trips can also be stressful to plan and execute. Here are The Onion’s tips for traveling with kids:

Your children should know what to expect on their first flight, so sit down with them before the trip and have a frank discussion about 9/11, its aftermath, and the resulting implications for airport security.



Make sure everyone in your party is accounted for by compiling a master list of all your children’s names.



A game of “I Spy With My Little Eye” can keep kids engaged for hours and double as a colorblindness diagnostic.



Don’t let temper tantrums take you by surprise. Make sure to run the entire vacation itinerary by your baby first to see if she’s on board with everything.



Maintain a robust supply of activities and games to placate your child should he somehow lose interest in the horological treasures of Budapest.



Help make the trip unforgettable for your kids by firing your family’s memory cannon each time something noteworthy happens.



Keep track of your children in large crowds by dyeing them bright colors.



Be flexible! Depending on your toddler’s mood, you may need to have a terrible time.

