Copenhagen, what a wad of flavor

Copenhagen, you can see it in my smile

Copenhagen, do yourself a favor chew

Copenhagen, drivin’ pretty girls wild Robert Earl Keen

When North America was first settled by Europeans, one of the original gifts God provided us with was tobacco. Columbus noted one of his first sightings of tobacco on October 15th, 1492. About 30 years later, the Spanish empire began the cultivation, and thus the rapid spread through Europe of tobacco. By 1571, tobacco had reached almost every corner of Europe.

Dixie has a deep connection to the crop, and the use of it. Jamestown was the first American settlement to successful produce tobacco, and it was used as a form of currency in the area (interestingly, the pioneer of Southern tobacco farming, John Rolfe, took the famed Pocahontas as his wife). The Carolinas and Tennessee also produces tobacco.

Any Southern man worth his weight has packed a dinger multiple times in his life, and we all see our grandad’s chewing Red Man out of a pouch. Tobacco is intrinsically linked to our culture, rights of passage and manhood. Sneaking your first dip is a life changing experience, as is the first time your dad gives you a pinch from his can. Bugmen hate tobacco for a reason.

Dipping is a way to signal to other men, particularly Southern men, that you are the same as them, it’s a sort of in-group signifier. We all see the type of “men” who are repulsed by the act, they’re almost always metrosexual, communist and/or lacking in testosterone. Women generally dislike dipping, which is understandable, you shouldn’t be spitting in front of a lady. But, the men who adopt this viewpoint are unknowingly (or uncaringly?) showing that they are feminine.

This is linked to a larger trend within our society, masculinity is under attack because Southern, along with other European-stock, masculinity is a threat to the consumerist, communist future that the elites are trying to push. Men, acting like “men,” means that we will ignore the unnatural social rules that have been put in place by people who are not us, and are not Christian. It is our duty to stand against these people, we owe it to our ancestors, our children and our communities.

If you’re now a smoker, you should make the easy switch over to dip. The pros are enormous, you’ll look a hell of a lot cooler, you’ll be in the company of great men, past and present, and you’re chances of getting cancer will drop substantially (cancer from smokeless tobacco is largely a myth). This great tradition isn’t going anywhere or anytime soon, but we should do our best to ensure that it continues.

Pack a lip of Copenhagen and reclaim your Southern masculinity. Soyboys, hypochondriacs and bugmen be warned, it’s not for the faint of heart.

-By John Boy