Mental charity chief says GPs should keep a keener eye out for distress among men, who tend to suffer more in secret than women

Vast numbers of men are suffering from depression in the UK but missing out on treatment, owing to the skewed criteria used by GPs to diagnose the illness, warns the head of the mental health charity Mind.

Paul Farmer, the chief executive of Mind, says men are just as likely to suffer from mental distress as women of the same age and are far more likely to kill themselves: the highest suicide risk group in the UK is now men aged between 40 and 49. But because of the emphasis on typically female issues and symptoms under the categories used to understand how depression works, the extent of the problem among men is largely hidden.

While depressed women can turn in on themselves, men suffering from the illness can become animated, aggressive and angry. Middle-aged men are also far less likely to talk to friends and relatives about their feelings, relying heavily on their partner, which can push them towards marital breakdown and further isolation.

A recent case in point is that of schoolteacher Peter Harvey, who was cleared of attempted murder and causing grievous bodily harm with intent to a pupil last week because he was mentally unwell and had been tormented by the youth. Although high-profile cases of male depression have made the headlines, as when the former footballer Paul Gascoigne was sectioned under the Mental Health Act in 2008, Farmer said that in general the problem remained hidden. Research done by Mind has shown that a high proportion of men also saw doctors' surgeries as "feminised" premises where they felt unwelcome.

"We are working on recommendations for GPs encouraging them to look out for some of the more male symptoms of depression, such as anger or aggression," said Farmer, "and also calling for the increased provision of mental health services tailored for men, such as all-male service user groups, which are tremendously successful where they exist."

The recommendations will suggest that surgeries be made more man-friendly, with male magazines in waiting rooms, and that men be given access to a network of all-male support groups where they might find it easier to talk about their problems.

"Statistics tell us that women are more likely to have depression than men, but in reality men are just as likely to experience depression, but are far less likely to seek help, be diagnosed or receive treatment," said Farmer.

"Stereotypes such as 'real men don't cry' can hold men back from getting help, and we are worried that the true extent of men's mental health problems is further masked by the fact that the symptoms of depression that we look for are more commonly experienced by women than men, such as tearfulness.

"With diagnostic criteria being more geared towards women, we have heard that men's depression isn't always picked up and men who do try to reach out are slipping through the net and not receiving the support they need – support that can prove to be life saving. Men make up three quarters of all suicides, and we have to start looking beyond the statistics."

His call was backed by Peter Baker, head of the Men's Health Forum, who said that men needed male-only clinics and groups, just like women already have, to help deal with the taboo of depression and anxiety.

"We're not trying to start a competition between men and women about who is worse off," said Baker. "But the often quoted figure that middle-aged women suffer from depression at twice the rates of men is just not what we find to be true; it is clear that the standard diagnostic tools being used pick up depression aren't working for men.

"The male mental distress manifests itself in other ways and is not always about sitting morosely in a corner; nobody likes being around people being aggressive, which mitigates the kind of sympathy men can receive.

"Men are also less comfortable in the GP's surgery than women and are not brought up to ask for help; they want to appear in control and not weak or vulnerable. But when men can't cope, they are the ones who go missing, who kill themselves, or who end up on the streets. Women are streets ahead in asking for and getting the services they need."

The chairman of the Royal College of General Practitioners, Professor Steve Field, said doctors were aware of the problems of getting men to come forward for medical help when they needed it.

"I don't think it is GPs missing the symptoms, as much as people not coming forward. It is common for men to come into a surgery and the real symptom they are worried about won't be the first one they mention.

"Men's mental health has worried me for a long time," he said. "We need to reach men, get more health issues into the curriculum at schools and teach boys it's OK to talk."