A package arrives, and inside...a bag, dripping with blood. How did the Post Office let this one through? My wife gasps as I pull the bag out. I open it over the sink...it's reminiscent of a murder scene. Slowly, deliberately, I cut through the biohazard tape, unsure of what I will find. "I really should have worn gloves," I think, as I unwrap the newspaper. Am I about to unleash the plague?

And inside...a bottle of spectacular red fountain pen ink. A perfect gift, and an even more perfect presentation. Thank you, Secret Santa!!