[ Indistinct conversations ] All right, parents and students,please take your seats. Okay, okay. Now, as you know, there was an incidentat the school last week involving a studentreferring to rape as a "hot Cosby." M'kay? [ Snickering ] Listen, listen! Principal Victoriahas been fired. -Whoa.-What? -Fired? Really?-Sweet, dude! And a new personhas been appointed to try and makeSouth Park Elementary a more progressive placethat fits in with today's times. M'kay? So, please welcomeP.C. Principal. All right, listen up.My name is P.C. Principal. I don't know about you,but frankly, I'm sick and tired of how minority groups aremarginalized in today's society. I'm here because this placeis lost in a time warp! Students who still usethe word "retarded," a teacher who saidwomen without wombs should get an AIDS test. Oh, I was a lesbian then. A chef person of color who the childrenhad sing soul songs, and who the children droveto kill himself. No, he got brainwashedby a cult. And that's two days detentionfor you, young man. -We'll see you at 4:00.-What? Let me ask you this.We're in Colorado, right? Where are the Hispanic kids?Huh? Where are the ethnicand racial minorities? Well, we have Token.He's black. And that's two days detentionfor you, Mackey. Congratulations. Wha-- I got detention? I Googled South Parkbefore I came here, and I could not believe the shityou are getting away with. People claiming to be advocatesof transgender rights, but really just wanting to usethe women's bathroom. A white manwho thinks he's Chinese, and built a wallto keep out Mongolians. Ooh, I hate-a Mongolians! What the [bleep] is this?Are you [bleep] kidding me? I'm telling you all,this is done. Like it or not, P.C. is back,and it's bigger than ever. Whoo! Whoo! Whoo!You hear that? That's the sound of 2015pulling you over, people. Suck it.

You know what,I think it's good. Let's face it,this is long overdue. Did you guys hear? Cartman gotfour days suspension for calling Heidi Turner"Clitty Litter." Mrph rmh rmphm? But the thing is,Eric isn't even fighting it. It's like he's all sadand scared. Good!He should be sad and scared. These thingsdo matter. And I already feel betterto be at a school where we can startto have a dialogue and talk aboutthis stuff. [ Feedback over P.A. ] MR. MACKEY: Will Kyle Broflovski report to the principal's office immediately, m'kay? Kyle Broflovski. Did I say that all right? Uh, hi. I'm Gerald,Kyle Broflovski's father. Have a seat. I've been talkingwith your child, and we're gonna be giving himtwo weeks detention. What's this about, Kyle? Your son said some thingsto a fourth-grade girl that, frankly,make me want to puke. Now that I'm principal, I'm not gonna allow anyoneat this school to be made feel unsafeand harassed. Wh-wh-what did he say? You'll have to excusemy language. [ Clears throat ] "I don't think Caitlyn Jenneris a hero." This kind of transphobicand bigoted hate speech isn't gonna fly here, bro! I thought we were all on board that Caitlyn Jenneris an amazing, beautiful woman who had the exquisite bravery of a butterflyflying against the wind. And then this shitcomes out of people's mouths! P.C. Principal,I-I'm sure Kyle was just referringto Bruce Jenner as a person, and not trying to sayanything against -- You got a [bleep]problem, bro? No. 'Cause it's notBruce [bleep] Jenner! It's Caitlyn, and she'sa [bleep] stunning woman! Or maybe you're the oneteaching him to demean womenin the first place. Huh?! What's up?What's [bleep] up, bro?! Look, maybe we canall just take -- Get the [bleep] out of here,dude!

Some college kid's gonna come inand tell us our ways are old? Yeah. And you can't bullyour kids like that. Kyle's already gottentwo weeks of detention. For what? Just 'cause he said somethingabout Caitlyn Jenner. Oh. Caitlyn Jenner?She's a hero. She is stunningand brave. Stunning. She is absolutely beautiful,and an inspiration. -Yep.-Yep, that's right. What the hellare you guys talki-- Uh, we got to be careful,Gerald. This is a college bar. Somebody here have a problemwith Caitlyn Jenner? -No.-No? 'Cause she's a stunning,beautiful woman, and if you want to call heranything else, I'm readyto [bleep] throw down. No, no.We're totally fine with it. Whoo! Whoo!Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! "It"? Did somebody just referto Caitlyn Jenner as "it"?! I'm P.C., bro.I'll throw down. Sweet!You're P.C., bro? Yeah, Arizona State. Sweet, bro.I'm P.C. UMass. [Bleep] yeah!Sweet, dude. Sweet! So, do we havea [bleep] problem here? No! Caitlyn Jenneris the bravest woman in America. Whee-oo!Whee-oo! Whee-oo! Did someone herejust say America in a way that otherizesand demeans the peopleof Latin and South America? Nice, dude.You P.C.? Yeah, Chino Hills. You think Venezuelansaren't Americans, brah?! Yeah, you want tomake fun of me?! Hey! What seems to bethe problem here, gentlemen? Who the hell are you? I'm P.C. Principal. Oh, nice.We're all P.C., too. No way!There's more P.C. bros here? Yeah, dude.Ohio State. Sweet, bros!Texas A&M. Bro, I had no idea therewere like-minded individuals in this townwho defended social minorities. We should all hang out! We should totallyhang out! We should allget a house together and uniteour tolerant views. -[Bleep] do it, dude!-[Bleep] yeah! [Bleep] yeah! [ Indistinct conversations ] Whoo! Well, looks like thingsare getting all P.C. again. [Bleep] yeah, bro!P.C.! Well, how long do you thinkthis will last? Lasted about six yearslast time. We got at least5.9 years to go.

Uh, hey, Cartman.What's going on? Aren't you goingto, uh, you know, go do somethingabout this new principal? I've already gotfour days of detention. I don't want any more. I'm gonna startfollowing the rules. But this isn't you,Cartman! Yeah, where's the Eric Cartmanwe know? The Eric Cartman we knowbreaks the rules, and he gets away with it,just like his hero. Come on.Who's your hero, Cartman? [ Sighs ]Tom Brady. Right. And what does Tom Brady doafter breaking the rules? Deny and subvert. Yeah! Yeah, what --what would Tom Brady say if he got caughtshoplifting? "Everybody shoplifts.Why are you coming down on me?" Yeah!Yeah!Yeah!Yeah! You're Tom Brady, Cartman. And that new principal in thereis the football commissioner trying to dictatehis punishment to you. And what happenswhen an invulnerable cheater comes up againstan elitist corporate dictator? A perfect storm of hypocrisythat everyone in the country has to deal withfor months on end. Yeah!Yeah!Yeah!Yeah! You're right, guys.I'm gonna Tom Brady this thing. Yeah!Yeah!Yeah!Yeah! I'm gonna say --I'm gonna say, "You're not giving mefour days of detention. You're only giving me one!" Yeah!Yeah!Yeah!Yeah! No. No, to hell with that. You're giving meno days suspension! And then I'm gonna go homeand [bleep] my hot wife, who's not even that hot,and kind of looks like a dude! Yeah!Yeah!Yeah!Yeah! Thanks, guys. I almost forgot the lessonsthat football has taught us all. I can get aroundthese pesky rules. Butters, I'm going to needyour underwear. Okay! Cool.I think we did it.

Oh, P.C. Principal.How are you today? What are you doingin the faculty bathroom? You know,I think you and I got off on the wrong footthe other day. By all means, please,keep your dick out. You see, I'm not going to acceptfour days of detention, and you're goingto apologize publicly for being so strict to meand my friends at school. What the [bleep]are you talking about? It's just a request,that's all. See you around. Oh, you seem to have droppedsomething, P.C. Principal. What's this? Why, this is a little boy'sunderwear. [ Sniffs ] Why, this isButters' underwear. What? P.C. Principal,you have Butters' underwear? And now... [ Sloshing ] Oh, my gosh,it's got you DNA all over it. This certainlydoesn't look good for you. I don't need to tell anyoneabout this. No, I think we havean understanding. Capiche? What did you just say? You mean about keepingyour dick out? "Capiche"? You're associatingItalian-Americans to intimidation tactics? You better watchyour microaggressions, bro. O-kay. Look, you don'twant to end up like the spokesman for Subway,do you? Did you just use a term that excludes womenfrom an occupation?! Okay, let's back up.Aah! Did you just say spokesmaninstead of spokesperson when womenare just as capable of selling sandwichesas anyone?! Are you purposelytrying to use words that assertyour male privilege?! No, I'm sorry! I was just trying to frame youfor raping Butters! Do you think Italian-Americansand women are less important?! Oh, God! You dare to use wordsthat alienate two communities of peoplewho have to deal

[Bleep] yeah! [ Indistinct conversations ] Can I speakwith P.C. Principal, please? Oh, yeah.We got another one, guys! All right!Bring him in, bro! We're ready!Whoo! Wait, what? Hey, no,I-I don't... All the pledges,take a shot! P.C. PRINCIPAL:All right, pledges. We're excitedyou want to try and be P.C. We hopeyou've got what it takes to join the most socially activegroup in America. Whooo!Whooo!Whooo!Whooo! You know, there's stillsome people out there that say, "What does being P.C.really mean?" Well, I'll tell youwhat it means. It means you love nothing morethan beer, working out, and that feeling you getwhen you rhetorically defend a marginalized communityfrom systems of oppression. -Whoo!-Yeah, yeah, yeah! -Dude, let's go!-Whoo, whoo! -Yeah!-Yeah! -Whoo-hooo!-Whoo-hooo! Whooo! -Whoo-hoo!-Let's go! Yeah! [ Groaning ] [ Sighs ] You got home pretty latelast night. 6:00 a.m.? I've joineda social-awareness group. It's a coalition thatdiscourages the use of...words that have negativeor offensive connotations to grant respect to people who are victimsof unfair stereotypes. You got in at 6:00,and now you're missing work. We've been getting awaywith horrible things, Sharon. Having laughsat less privileged people and thinkingit was harmless. Our group is...trying to bea civilizing influence, where we discussand have meetings to better defineand reinforce tolerance and acceptanceof all groups of people. Hm. And do they have boozeat these meetings? Uh... They serve refreshments,yes.

Cartman? We can't beat him,you guys. P.C. Principalis too strong. What do we do now? There's nothing left to do. I'm going to admitI did something wrong, take my punishmentand move on. I'm not Tom Brady. Oh, no! Dude, if we all tell the policewhat the principal did, -he'll be fired.-Yeah! -No way.-Why? Because P.C. Principalis right, Kyle. You and I are bigots. And it's timefor us to grow up. No, you're a bigot. If I can face my prejudice,why can't you? We're two privileged,straight white boys have their laughs about thingswe never had to deal with. I'm notgoing to apologize for saying Caitlyn Jennerisn't a hero. In fact, personally, I think she's most likelynot a very good person. [ All gasp ] Aah! Aah! Kyle, believe me,I know the struggle with hatred. Let's make ourselvesbetter people...together. Come on, fat-ass. No more fat shaming, Kyle.Let's start a new chapter. So you're never gonna call mea dirty Jew again? No. I'm going to call you...my friend. Oh [bleep] you. I guess we never realizedhow bad he really was.

P.C. PRINCIPAL:All right, pledges, listen up. Congratulations on making itto the final cuts. -Whoo!-Yeah! -Dude, let's go!-Whoo-hoo! Now it's timefor the final test. So, what you're gonna have to doto prove you belong with P.C. is go out thereand check someone's privilege. Finally! Yes! I'm sorry,I don't know what that is. Tofer, can you explaincheck your privilege, please? It's getting someoneto acknowledge their owninherent privileges, and reminding themto put them aside in order to better understandanother human's plight. You see,there's still people out there like Brett [bleep] Favre, who thinkthat when we all stand up and applaud Caitlyn Jennerat the ESPY awards, he can get away withone of these bullshit claps. It's called clapping, Favre! What the [bleep] are you doing?You washing your hands? You're either on boardor you're not, bro. Now, if he's gonna bring shameon someone, then he can havehis privilege checked, and have a little shamebrought down on him! You want me to shameBrett Favre? No. 'Cause there's somebodyeven worse now. [ Noisemakers blow ] Aah! What the [bleep] dude?!What the [bleep] [ Grunting, squealing ]

[ Groaning ] [ Crowd cheering,whistle blows ] [ Echoing ]I may be down, but I'm not out. Tom Brady's never out. [ Echoing ]You broke the rules! [Bleep] you I broke the rules.You're breaking the rules. [Bleep] you.You broke the rules. You broke the rules how youfound out I broke the rules. [ Echoing ]Yeah, you broke the rules! I'm the commissioner. I canbreak the rules 'cause you guys broke the rules beforebut I didn't bust you enough. Just 'cause you didn'tbust us enough for breaking the rules,that doesn't mean you can break the rulesbusting us now. [Bleep] both you guys.I can do whatever I want.I'm breaking the rules. [Bleep] you, I'm Tom Brady! [Bleep] you,I'm the Commissioner. I'll make up new rules. [Bleep] your rules! [Bleep] you guys,always [bleep] rules. I'll [bleep] all the rules!Rules, rules... Aah! Butters! I'm here, Eric. Oh, Butters. I've livedsuch a horrible life, always doingwhatever I want and claiming itto be for integrity. Butters? Yes, Eric? I'm never going backto the person I was. I swear to God. From now on,the world is going to know a new and betterEric Cartman.

[ Doorbell rings ] Will you please tell your dadto leave me alone? Dude, what happened? Your dad was on my lawnyelling at me all night, and after I finallyfell asleep, I woke up Saran-wrappedto a tree with peniseson my face. And this. Hang on. Dad, did you draw dickson my friend's face? Did I check his privilege?Yes. I had some refreshments, and I checkedyour friend's privilege. That's my best friend, Dad. Stop shaming himbecause you want to fit in. Stan, straight white malesin a capitalistic society have little...understandingof victimization compared to injustices...against underprivileged. Dicks on your faceis a very first-world problem. [ Retches ]Oh, shit! Look, Kyle,maybe you should just say Caitlyn Jenneris a hero. I didn't even sayshe wasn't a hero! I just saidshe isn't a hero to me! I didn't like Bruce Jenneras a person when he wason the Kardashians, and I don't suddenlylike him now. P.C. FRAT BOY:Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Whoo! Her. Her! Yes! [ Grunts ]

I want to get out there and start makingpositive changes, but I can barely even walk. How is everybody doing? Well, they're fine. Everyone's just kind of keepingtheir mouths shut. It's kind of nice. So the P.C. guysare leaving people alone. Well, except for... Who? Well -- Well, now they've madeKyle their main target. ♪♪ Kyle? My friend Kyle? Eric,what are you doing? I don't have a choice. I have to takethese P.C. people out. Oh, but I thoughtyou agreed with them. I do,but I have to help Kyle even if I don't agree withhis hateful, bigoted thoughts. Kyle's viewmay be warped. I personally thinkCaitlyn Jenner'sa stunning hero. [ Clears throat ] But that doesn't meanI'll stand by while Kyle's intoleranceis dealt with violently. We're going to war with theseP.C. people once and for all. Butters, I'm going to need200 pregnant Mexican women and some taco launchers. Well, okay!

I wanna be P.C.!Whoo, whoo! It's just the way to be for me! And you!Whoo, whoo! Your hateful slurs are through!Whoo, whoo! I call whoo, whooon you! Whoo, whoo! We'll fight untilyou're P.C. black and blue! Whoo, whoo! We are language policefighting bigotry! Hurtful wordscan suck our turds, 'cause it's P.C. for me! -And you!-Whoo, whoo! -Yeah!-[Bleep] yeah, bro! -[Bleep] yeah!-[Bleep] yeah! P.C., bro!

Send in the pregnantMexican women. [ Screaming ] Oh, oh! Oh! [Bleep] bro! Fire the taco launchers! [ Explosions ] [ Screaming ] Syrian refugee children,flank from the left! [ Screaming ] Dude, what is this, bro? I don't know, bro! The Syrian refugee childrenare in. Send in Jared! [ Screaming continues ] What in the worldis going on? All right, good. The pregnant Mexican womenare falling asleep on the tacos. Jared needs backup.Send in the Chinese drivers. [ Tires screech ] Aaah! Alright, the Syrian refugees aretrying to protect theirchildren. Oh [bleep] there's Kyle. What the [bleep]are you doing, Kyle? [ Screaming,explosions continue ] Enough! Stop! Everyone stop! This is so wrong!I can't let it continue. This is not everwhat I intended. I just want to say... Caitlyn Jenner is a hero. There's no other way to say it. What she did took bravery,and she is absolutely stunning. [ Applause ] Whoo-hoo! [ Cheers and applause ]