It is called 'No More Woof'. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.

It’s finally happening.

‘No More Woof‘ — “the first device to translate animal thoughts into human language” — was created by a research lab called the Nordic Society for Invention and Discovery, a group of impossibly young and well-dressed scientists who look like this:

Using a combination existing technologies — EEG-sensoring, micro-computing (they use the Raspberry Pi) and something called BCI software — the group are creating brain-scanning technology that will be able to read what’s going on inside a dog’s head, and turn it into human language.

It looks like a tiny headset for a tiny secretary. It’s totally adorable:

They explain this whole thing in a bewilderingly self-deprecating Indiegogo video below.

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Not yet a finished product, the NSID are calling for contributors to their IndieGogo page. There, and on their website, they go into a little more depth about how the product will work and where they’re at with it (no animals are exposed to any harm during testing), and show you the types of phrases they’re working on — including “I am so very weary”, “This is splendid”, “Em, why are you guys leaving” and “He must be a very nice animal”.

They also show you the types of voices you can choose from. (I’ll have ‘Pudge’, please.)

You can contribute to the project and pre-order, with prices ranging from US$65 for the most basic model (two-to-three thought patterns), to $1200, for a model which, over time, will learn its own complex sentences based on your dog’s brain.

In the future? Two-way communication. “Not only should you be able to understand your pet, let them understand you. A similar device can be hooked up on humans translating our thoughts into dog.” That is an actual sentence that I copy and pasted. You will be able to talk to your dog.

“To be completely honest, the first version will be quite rudimentary,” they warn. “But hey, the first computer was pretty crappy too.”

Before creating ‘No More Woof’, the NSID research lab were written about in Wired, in an article which highlights their other inventions: the iRock (a rocking chair that charges your phone), the FlyLamp (a hovering lamp that follows you), and Nebula 12, an indoor cloud that predicts the weather.

They’re also working on flying carpets for pets, which can lift small cats and dogs a few centimetres off the ground.

If you have trouble imagining that, here: