It’s time for an intervention. Here’s 3 signs you might be a data hoarder – see if you recognize your databases in Wikipedia’s list of compulsive hoarding symptoms:

1. You tend to hold onto items that most people would consider not useful:

Old catalogues and newspapers

Freebies picked up, like cached copies of Internet data

You say, “Drives are cheap, so it doesn’t really cost much to keep this around”

Things that “might” be used one day

2. There’s so much clutter that servers and drives can no longer be used for their intended purpose, and some of your data is inaccessible. Examples include:

Drives that are constantly out of space

Turning on compression just to cram more data into less drives

Too many animals servers and you’re unable to take care of them anymore

servers and you’re unable to take care of them anymore Being surprised by data (“Oh wow, I forgot I even had that!”)

3. The clutter is so bad it causes illness, distress, and impairment.

Visitors such as consultants aren’t invited in because it would be too embarrassing

Family members coworkers argue a lot about the clutter

coworkers argue a lot about the clutter Feel depressed or anxious much of the time because of the clutter

You consider migrating to the cloud in order to get more space for your clutter

How to Get Help with Your Data Hoarding Problem

If you believe the above heading refers to a new way to process your “big data”, think again.

When you hire another “data scientist” to tell you how incredibly valuable your data can be, think about that person’s motivations. You’re paying them to tell you if your junk is worth something, and then you’re paying them again to take their time sifting through your junk.

Sooner or later, you have to wise up about the data you keep. Maybe there’s not a lot of value in the web site clicks your users made two years ago – back when your web site looked totally different, and you can’t even recreate that web site anyway because you don’t have a working version of it compiled, so you don’t even know what the links mean, and then you have to spend even more time getting valuable business people involved to try to remember what /sites/purchase/preorder/item45.aspx?special=1 was all about. I’m just saying.

Because if your office looked like your database, you’d be on television.

And I don’t mean America’s Next Top Data Model, either.