THE funds required to rebuild Manchester City could leave the once oil-rich United Arab Emirates facing ruin.

Despite possessing the fourth largest oil reserves in the world, it is feared that ploughing the billions needed to reverse the club’s losing streak could leave the country poorer than Somalia.

City owner Sheik Mansour, said: “Paying off a succession of coaches who we signed because they were grey haired and foreign sounding has reduced us to our last 5,000 barrels.

“Then we must factor in future purchases of ancient ex-Arsenal players who have come to regard Man City as a luxurious retirement home.

“And obviously I am going to pay £100 million for Jack Wilshere in exchange for seven injury-free games before we ship what’s left of him off to Aston Villa.

“Would anyone like to buy some sand?”