Humor and Satire

Writers Turn the Tables on Medium With Leap Day Policy Proposals of Their Own

Instead of waiting for Medium to determine the benefits you receive, take matters into your own hands by proposing what you want them to do for you over the next four years.

Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay

Leap years are great for a number of reasons, but mostly because every four years we get an entire extra day to enjoy at the end of February. Designated as Leap Day, During February 29th is a day of unusual traditions, folklore and superstitions. Now Medium has established its own tradition which will be followed today and every four years on the last day of February. Don’t miss the opportunity to turn the tables and reap the benefits.

General Traditions on Leap Day

According to an old Irish legend, St Brigid struck a deal with St Patrick which permitted women to propose to men every four years on February 29th. Similar to the way that Leap Day balances the calendar, this practice helps balance the traditional roles of men and women. Instead of having to wait around for the man to get down on one knee, on Leap Day it’s women’s turn to propose.

Should a man decide to refuse a woman’s proposal he would have to pay a penalty in the form of money or clothing such as a silk gown. In Denmark, a man who turned down a proposal was expected to buy her 12 pairs of gloves so she could hide the fact that she wasn’t wearing an engagement ring.

The New Medium Leap Day Tradition

It seems that with the change in the way earnings were calculated that writers became more vocal about their complaints in regards to writing on the platform. Medium went through numerous changes to try to address the variety of issues raised by writers but eventually realizing that it was impossible to please all of the writer’s all of the time, they decided to use Leap Day to reverse who was in charge. In keeping with the more general Leap Day traditions, writers can propose changes to Medium.

Templates for Proposals

Since the window of opportunity is so short, Medium is providing several customizable templates that will allow you to quickly submit a proposal of your choice. You can also create your own proposal from scratch if you want it to be truly epic and like no one else’s. The duration of each accepted proposal will be four years until the next Leap Day occurs. Some of the templates you can choose from include:

The Poet’s/Fiction Writer’s Earnings Times Five Proposal — This proposal attempts to compensate the writer who primarily creates poetry and short fiction at a rate that would help them earn more for their efforts. The default for the template requires Medium to pay five times the earned amount based on reading times. You can also customize this amount by changing how much you would like them to multiply the amount you would normally earn dictated by reading time.

The Curation Proposal — There are a few different options for this proposal. You can choose to have Medium curate a certain percentage of your stories, have a certain number of stories curated in more than one area of Medium’s choice or determine curation topics for your stories. You can also go for broke and ask that Medium curates every one of the stories you write in the next four years in at least one area. This proposal would come with the added benefit of preventing you from being placed in curation jail for it’s duration.

The Promotional Proposal — With this option you can propose that a Medium employee be assigned to you who would be responsible for marketing all of your stories. If you select this proposal, you would not have to do any self promotion for the next four years.

The Flat Rate Earnings Proposal — This option proposes that all Medium stories are treated the same regardless of length or engagement. This means that all of your posts would earn the same amount of money, that amount being determined by you. You would be guaranteed this rate regardless of how many people read it, clapped for it, commented on it or shared it.

The Expanded Earnings Proposal — This proposal asks that Medium find additional sources of writer pay to increase the amount of compensation available for your stories. You can choose to recommend specific possibilities for additional income such as bake sales,candy sales, car washes, or magazine sales.

The Featured Writer Proposal -If you feel that certain writers show up the stories that show up on Medium’s homepage over and over again, and would like to see your name there, you can propose that Medium features your most recent story on the homepage every day. If you want to up the ante, you can also ask that they feature more than one of your stories each day.

The Featured Publication Proposal — Similar to the Featured Writer Proposal, this proposal is for small publication owners. This option would require Medium to make your publication an official Medium publication. This would come with the added benefits of having your publication listed with the other Medium pubs at the top of the homepage and have stories from your pub featured.

Redress for Refused Proposals

If Medium turns down a writer’s proposal they will be required to pay a penalty in the form of one of the following items of your choice:

An all expense paid, part time muse (aren’t they all part time?)

A two week, all expense paid writing retreat anywhere in the world

One year of paid wages for a writer’s elf (related to the more common house elf). These helpful creatures will provide you with a sounding board for ideas, help you create stories, proof read and edit as well as run writing related errands such as buying coffee, alcohol and snacks (not responsible for any unwanted effects due to over zealousness like lack of sleep or excessive wordiness of resulting articles.)

A monthly cheat sheet that discloses Medium’s top earning writers, stories, and topic areas. This can be used to determine particularly lucrative areas to write about on Medium.

Don’t wait to offer your Leap Day proposal to Medium. You won’t get another chance for four years!