1. People who over use the tambourine. Everybody isn't meant to beat it. When you don't do it right it is truly aggravating and a nuisance. Keep still and sing like everybody else during the slow songs.

2. People who fake the Spirit. Just because your friend felt the touch don't mean you did too. If you running around the church like a jackass and you stop out of breath after going only half way around we know you haven't been touched. SIT DOWN!

3. People who constantly holler something to the pastor all during the message. We don't need a comment from you after every sentence he makes. We know he's "preaching" and we know he's talking to you. "SHUT UP" so I can hear him talk to me too.

4. People who constantly go to the bathroom. Nobody has to use the bathroom four times a service and you're clearly not on a date. SIT YOUR BLESSED ASSURANCE DOWN.

5. People who can't control their kids. If little Jay-Jay is running all up and down the aisle and going back and forth to the bathroom then you need to CHECK HIS TAIL.

6. People who take "Come AS YOU ARE" to a whole new level. I can understand if you going through something. Since when is it OK for men to wear tight "stretch to fit" pants in the church or wear their pants to expose and advertise their rear-end? Why do we need to see your butt crease again?

7. People who bring food to church. If you brought your little baby a little snack and you're eating it and dropping crumbs everywhere that's a problem. Take that Oreo and little Rae-kwon outside. THIS AIN'T YOUR HOUSE!

8. People who come to special church functions and criticize. If you're standing in a corner gossiping about how you could've done a better job at something and you haven't volunteered to help with anything and haven't showed up to any invitations to join a ministry, I'm going to have to ask you to Shut-UP !

9. People who obviously show they don't like you. If you don't care for a person too much for whatever reason at least put up a decent front to look past it and act right in church. Don't show up with your iron face and rotten attitude as if God appointed you as Chief Flesh Detective for the Church. See beyond people's fault and show them the love of Jesus!

10. Finally, parents that dress better than their kids. If you come in looking like a model for a fashion show and little Ashley is dragging behind you looking like she belongs on a "Feed the Children" commercial you're DEAD WRONG. Give your child a "Just For Me perm", wipe your kid's nose, comb your kid's hair, and buy them something decent to wear. Don't come out of the house looking like a MILLION BUCKS while your kid is looking like a FOOD STAMP.

And the Church said, "AMEN".

God Loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!" - LOL

