IF YOU DON'T LOVE CILANTRO WITH ALL YOUR HEART I WILL FIGHT YOUNO JOKE

animalstalkinginallcaps: THAI FOOD, MEXICAN, VIETNAMESE … I DON’T REALLY CARE, AS LONG AS IT HAS CILANTRO IN IT. THAT’S MY THING. I CAN’T GET ENOUGH. I’M A CILANTRO MANIAC. SERIOUSLY. SOMEONE NEEDS TO LIKE, INTERVENE IN MY LIFE. I THINK I HAVE A PROBLEM. 9:50 am • 3 October 2011

GUESS WHICH PLATE IS MINE YOU FUCKEN DRIPPY VAGINAS YOU RUG-BURNED GUNTS YOU TIRESOME DICKLIPS GODDAMN TACO AMATEURS NOT WORTHY 9:04 am • 14 September 2010

people who dislike cilantro: listen to the same shitty music as their parents

subscribe to the same paranoid, awful politics as their parents (gays? ew!)

work in HR or Accounting or middle-management

drive a ford Taurus from 8 years ago (always 8)

feel guilty about having an orgasm

always go to disneyland or disney world for vacation, maybe a resort in Hawaii for their 25th anniversary if they can save up enough money before then

suburbs

made-in-china bullshit shortbus-jingoism ‘support the troops’ ribbon magnets on the car

are 15-year-old Juggalos on Lipitor but without the rebelliousness, basically

insecure and afraid 1:05 pm • 15 April 2010

fatmanatee: A crisis of cilantro! Having too much cilantro is always on my mind, and so far, I’ve found few new options for the 2/3 bouquet of cilantro (a full batch of cilantro should ALWAYS be referred to as a bouquet) Until now! After having some delightful cilantro sauce with french fries the other day, I went into the full court press to find some good recipes. As it turns out, there are many ways of doing it, the best options are shown below: http://find.myrecipes.com/recipes/recipefinder.dyn?action=displayRecipe&recipe_id=1873392 http://www.recipezaar.com/recipe/Cilantro-Lime-Cream-Sauce-28058 http://www.bigoven.com/82742-Enchiladas-with-Jalapeno-and-Cilantro-Sauce-recipe.html http://www.cooks.com/rec/view/0,1750,157186-246192,00.html http://www.dishbase.com/recipe/cilantro-cream-sauce/ heyyyyyyyyy kids! the last one is a video of me and my parents’ gardener making a really fucking top notch cilantro sauce. …all over my belly. 9:04 am • 15 April 2010

Cilantro Haters, It’s Not Your Fault FUCK YOU YES IT IS errbody’s been going apeshit and emailing me this fucking joke of an article in today’s NYT. (let’s not forget that NPR ran this same “blame it on your genes you stupid fucking crybabies” article back in 2008.) luckily, The Awl knows what’s up: So, really, it’s not that you’re an unrefined hick, it’s more that your genes are lacking in culture. The article suggests several options by which you can allow yourself to appreciate the subtle majesty of cilantro, but it seems like a lot of work and we know you’d be much happier sticking to regular parsley, right? I wouldn’t trouble yourself too much about it, you boorish culinary xenophobe. THIS JUST IN: a life without an adventuresome palette is a life barely lived. DUH. THIS JUST IN:DUH. 3:17 pm • 14 April 2010

suck my diiiiiiiiiick suck my diiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiick seriously guys, i haven’t seen anything revelatory in my inbox since that girl sent the strap-on photo. fucken GET ON IT i got like a whole classroom full of milhouses here, ughhh 1300 net-addict blog twat nerds with their faces pressed to the storefront window and yet no one has sent charmingly-composed photos of cilantro braided into their bush? no one else here loves cilantro enough to instinctively hug it to their bathing suit areas in front of camera? no one? 9:20 am • 13 April 2010