“My friends say that it is eternal, immortal.. etc. Yet I don’t understand it. What do you think? How do you view friendship?”

A close friend asked me this question last night.

I had two options:

a) Say something semi-serious like “friendship is you giving me indigestible food for thought like this on a lazy Sunday :).”

or

b) Mine into the depths of my friendships (I didn’t have to go far – a part of me always dwells there) and recover some treasured memories and feelings to write something from the heart.

*If you haven’t noticed already, I chose option b, like a boss.*

What I see in my bonds with friends goes a little like this:

Friendship is painted in moments of blending between the rainbow layers in people.

By default, and sometimes unfortunately, we display and connect only with the sunny reds, oranges and yellows. While this is wonderful, it is important to note that those layers which appear to be the lightest in everyone’s eyes may often feel as dreary and dark as a heavy grey cloud on the shoulders of someone who is upset or depressed..

Nevertheless, this layer of friendliness that is generally reserved for strangers, acquaintances and extended family members is like a ray of sunshine. A give and take of politeness, a sprinkle of cordiality.. and has the potential to reach genuine fondness or disregard depending on how the yellow shades in you mix with the momentary glowing fire, green monsters and blue tears of the other.

Other times, it seems wholly appropriate to find a magnetic force pulling you to discover the depths of a vibrant personality whom you find rather intriguing. With such people, you feel like they will see past your sunflower days and recognise your deeper, fuzzy borders that aren’t either blue or green, but an undefined shade of aqua and mixed emotions. Such are your hopes, though you are uncertain and cannot quite predict which layer they will blend into just yet. You make it a mission to find out and find yourself fascinated by their presence and power. They seem to penetrate your filters and still shine through in all their poly-chromatic glory. Discovering which shade of you they could drizzle down into prompts you to sketch yourself in their visions and paintings of life and dreams. Give and take some mixing and mingling, some touch-ups of colour and some painting over, you find yourself discovering a near masterpiece. A solid new pigment. A friendship-baby hue that permanently stains a part of your rainbow. You fondly look back at their original drop of true colour. The moment it first splotched onto your imperfect array of colours. The impact it made, the colours it swirled into and imbibed from and around you as it streaked through and settled at a happy medium layer.

Sometimes you reach a layer and feel repulsed thinking “this red is a shallow, fruity-pink and not the lush maple that I expected to find.” You may continue spreading into this pink, like cancer, and attempt to mask it, if not transform it with your glints of intoxicating wine red.. Clouding their identity and right to the lighter layers of life. Or you may abandon them. You may seize to be a sailor through the their daily motion picture and will leave only a stamp behind… Imprinting your mark on their rainbow that no rain can wash away…

Maybe later you will return and dot-paint patterns at deeper or wider levels. Then you will find that the other layer was just a place that clashed with your colours of that time. You will find that there is much more beauty to be discovered and doodled over at the heart of the person. I encourage everyone to return again and again and continue probing like this. Experimenting with little blobs of colour on different, interesting parts of another person’s rainbow. It is much better to rediscover friends than reject them.

Sometimes, my lovely friends, in this discovery of deeper layers, the rainbow hues of the other person kiss the entire stretch of blue sky above your head and the bronzed ground below your feet. As if by the strokes of a brush wielded by the invisible hand of destiny or God, their rainbow embraces your deepest layers. High and low, from your daisies to your black holes. It takes the sincerest shades of courage, compassion and a silver-magic for one to go so deep that they cannot get out without touching every stroke that you are made of. It is after all, your heart and soul bare. It is white. It is black. Everything or nothing. Reflection and absorption. It is you. It is me. Ironically it is these shades that we are most unsure of. Some find themselves in a distastefully-green pickle before reaching these layers of you. These people promptly brush past into mediocre colour combinations without discovering the ruby red roses hiding in the emerald forests of your mind. Some special ones, however, spiral straight in and see more dazzling designs than you can imagine yourself. They see that your dove whites exist because of all your other beautiful shades. Your richest and darkest black sheds light on your unseen depths of existence, beyond the realms of perception.

These special ones adore you. Previous blends with them aren’t quite so warm or true as the glow and glitter in your shared galaxy of gold. Your eyes speak through sparkles. You feel the ocean in your stomach and fish swim in your head. Whatever you would consider to be a fatal flaw in any other human being, becomes an endearing quirk in your lovely pal. It is a relishable peace. A safe haven. It is love.

It is at the above point where one (or at least I) go a little mad and start sending my best reviews and prayers for my special ‘discovered’ friend to the universe. “Do look after this kid please.. Oh and this one! Please. This is a good kid. I love this kid. Even if this kid isn’t nice to me, please let this kid find all the happiness in the world and let all their dreams come true.. Yes, that is all I desire. Thank you universe. Thank you God…” *Proceeds to shed a tear of love and tightly hugs the body of air surrounding her.*

Those are the layers and versions of friendship that have tinted and transformed my rainbow. It is a unique experience with each person. As with anything in life, I appreciate those friendships that are most genuine, uninhibited and natural.

Sometimes my dear, you need to splash colours of your own onto a white canvas to discover the friend and colourful rainbow in you. Sometimes you need to gently dab in your unique, contrasting colours to unlock someone’s hidden layers.. Those layers that hide beneath their highlight-reel yellow. Doing this dab and doodle gives me immense happiness as it helps me realise how much I love people and how deep they are… No matter whether you are shy, confident, awkward, goofy, glamorous, emotional, disastrous and sometimes heartless, you are all lovable people to me. All with your unique rainbows of true colours… waiting to create double rainbows with a pal. Oh you lot! :*

Now just like a beautiful rainbow after a drizzly shower.. friendships can pop up right when you need it…and gradually fade. They may not be eternal for one or both of you. The bonds of friendship can be strained through miscommunication – a bad mixing leading to a dirty brown, or miles-in-between – no mixing at all. Yet whatever happens, we can appreciate its timeless quality. As the years go by, I assure you of this: the best details in the paintings of our lives will be from the mixes and blends of our unique rainbow with another’s.

Written with love from the palette of friendship.

Yours

Laxmy

P.s.

A song for you: Click here ❤

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