You have heard it many times, that men hiding their vulnerability is toxic masculinity. That men need to be more open about their emotions.

However, what happens when men actually do show vulnerability? Does society react positively towards those emotions? Quite rarely.

The conservative response to male vulnerability has traditionally been to tell men to “man up” and take responsibility. Conservatives rarely seem to care about the male victim. It seems like only recently some conservatives have started paying attention to male issues, but that’s probably more of a response to feminism rather than a genuine concern for men.

Are progressives any better? Usually no. Men who complain about real problems like domestic violence against men or male disposability are often met with ridicule. Hashtags like #WhatAboutTehMenz prove that. When men do show vulnerability and willingness to talk about male problems, progressives will often accuse them of “playing the victim”. Even in the rare occasion where progressives appear willing to address male issues, it will usually be in a very gynocentric way, avoiding to offend women at any cost. Even men who have been truly abused and hurt by women are not allowed to express anger and vent so that they do not appear “misogynist”. On the other hand, misandry and man-hating are tolerated in progressive circles because it’s just women “expressing their anger about the patriarchy”. Nobody seems to be recognizing this double standard.

It truly seems like society just hates male vulnerability. On the one hand, men are told that hiding their emotions is toxic masculinity. On the other hand, when men do express their emotions, they’re accused of being “whiny manbabies playing the victim”. So what are men supposed to do? Maybe it’s time to start taking men’s concerns more seriously instead of simply dismissing and ridiculing them.

