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When we were children, we thought that tank crews navigated by looking out through the unloaded cannon, as if it were a gigantic metal spyglass. We were very special children. Of course, we're all grown now, and we realize that tanks navigate by ... p-prayer? Albert has the answer: "The driver has three periscopes to see out of. One looks forward, one right, and one left. They're about three inches by six inches."

Hold up, though. How does a tank driver navigate the outside world while only glimpsing it through a series of mirror reflections? In the beginning, not all that well: "During my training, a friend of mine accidentally drove his tank into a building ... A good driver gets used to it, but at first it feels like you're driving blind. To back up, the new tanks have a camera and a screen, but the old ones don't even have that, and you just relied on your commander looking out to let you know if you're hitting stuff." Of course, if you're piloting a 60-ton embodiment of God's wrath, by the time you get word that you've hit something, that thing has long since ceased to be.

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Same rules as your grandma parking.

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"It's not a design flaw. Any opening in the armor is a weak point, so you want to keep them small and few. It takes some getting used to." As does remembering that in some ways, a tank is just like a car. "I once forgot to put a tank's park brake on, and had it roll through a wall." And you thought the time you clipped your mom's mailbox with her Geo Metro was bad.