Welcome to the Battle of the Brats! On one side of the ring we have the bearded halfwit known as Donald Trump Jr. On the other side is his little sister Ivanka, patron saint of hypocrites. Over the next few years these two kids are going to be engaged in a vicious rivalry as each vies to become their father’s successor and turn the Trump presidency into a dynasty.

That’s my theory anyway. A recent survey by Axios and Survey Monkey found that Ivanka and Trump Jr are favourites for the 2024 presidential nomination among Republican voters. Twenty-nine per cent of GOP supporters are keen on Lil’ Don, while 16% are rooting for the first daughter. Neither Trump is the preferred candidate; 40% of respondents want the vice-president, Mike Pence, to be the nominee.

Like most polls, this should be taken with a large pinch of salt. 2024 is a long way away and a lot could happen to change the current political landscape. Including, you know, a nuclear war. Nevertheless, I would put money on this survey having caused major friction amongst the Trump kids.

Ivanka, Daddy’s clear favourite, has made no secret about her political ambitions, and has spent the past year playing Diplomat Barbie. If Michael Wolff’s Fire and Fury is to be believed, she even made a pact with her husband, Jared Kushner, that she will run for president before him.

I can’t imagine she is thrilled to see big bro – who seems to spend most of his time posting photos of himself holding guns and murdering endangered animals – become such a political force.

Don Jr, on the other hand, must be ecstatic. I’ve got a feeling he probably sent his sister a text asking if she was “TRIGGERED?” It does appear to be one of the only words he knows.