I’VE never felt so broken.

Here I am hunched over with 30 NRL players watching me dry retch.

It’s embarrassing but there’s little I can do about it. My body has quit on me.

This is my third session with an NRL club in as many years.

Round 19

When I ran around with Cronulla at the end of 2015, before they won their maiden premiership, the Knights were attempting to shed the wooden spoon.

The next year I lost my mind on some sand dunes with Parramatta, as the Knights fought to get off the bottom of the table once again.

WATCH THE TORTURE UNFOLD IN THE VIDEO BELOW!

This year and three wooden spoons later, I’m in the Hunter.

So how hard could it be? Try the hardest training session I have ever experienced.

Physically, I’ve reached my breaking point. Mentally, the head noise is deafening.

Welcome to pre-season at the Knights.

HERE WE GO

It’s a steaming hot Monday morning as I pull into Wests Mayfield with Fox Sports video producer Johnathan Barhoumeh, the man behind the video at the top of the page.

Nathan Ross waves hello and Lachlan Fitzgibbon shakes my hand and says, “I think I’m partnering with you in wrestling today”.

That’s something to look forward to.

As the boys walk towards headquarters next to Wests, football manager Darren Mooney wanders over to greet me.

Mitchell Pearce is preparing for his first full week of training since joining the club. Source: FOX SPORTS

After throwing on a training shirt, shorts and a hat, I look the part and we leave the car park which divides the Knights’ training room and Balance gym and head to the players’ change rooms via the field.

It’s here the training staff is setting up for the day. The players’ setup is pretty handy. They have everything they need — from bunk beds, a full kitchen, epic speaker system and Foxtel.

Training starts at 9am but the boys have a team meeting first, so I’m left to lather some sunscreen on my pasty white skin and chat with head trainer Jamie Williams and strength and conditioning guru Luke Portese.

Jamie has been at the club since the early 90s, while Luke has spent time with the Wests Tigers and also worked in the AFL.

MEETING THE TEAM

I warm up with the boys as we start our day. Source: FOX SPORTS

With the team meeting wrapped up, the troops roll in and Jamie Buhrer is one of the first to say hello. I lock eyes with Mitchell Pearce and we shake hands and chat about how he’s settling in. This is his second week since with the club.

“The boys are good, really welcoming,” he said.

LISTEN: Nathan Ryan desribes his Knights session on The Splash

SUBSCRIBE TO THE SPLASH ON iTUNES

The entire squad - minus Trent Hodkinson, Jacob Lillyman, Danny Levi, Herman Ese’ese and Chris Heighington - are there and throwing their GPS garments on.

Sports scientist Heidi Thornton tucks a tracking system into the wetsuit-like material, fits me with a heart rate monitor and I’m ready to rip in.

“I think you’ve picked a hard day to come and train,” Kalyn Ponga says as we shake hands.

After a quick chat with Ponga, physical performance manager Tony Ayoub calls us down to the field.

It's a warm morning and about to get a lot hotter. Source: FOX SPORTS

Witches hats are set out behind the dead ball line and we start a basic warm up.

“Make sure you get a good stretch in,” Ayoub says. “We have a big day.”

As we get to our feet after loosening up, I notice everyone is positioned in a circle and Nathan Ross has everyone’s attention.

BECOMING A KNIGHT

“Do a dance,” a few boys shout.

What? Me?

“Nath, you’ve got to dance,” Rossy instructs me.

I produce the worst attempt at break dancing anyone has ever seen and totally butcher the worm. To my surprise, the players clap and are encouraging.

Then Rossy shouts: “Tell us a joke ... You got a joke for us?”

I shout back: “Nathan Ross is a good one.”

Momentary silence followed by a chorus of ‘Ooooh’s’.

“One nil, Rossy,” yells one of the boys as we jog on to the field to start the session.

Trainer Wade Grintell tells me it’s become a tradition for all the new boys to do a dance and tell a joke on their first day.

A quick chat with Connor Watson and ‘KP’ Kalyn Ponga before we start. Source: FOX SPORTS

Melbourne recruit Slade Griffin was the newest addition before me and started waltzing by himself. Genius.

“It’s a tradition Rossy started,” Grintell explains. “He got it from his time in the Q Cup with Burleigh.”

Most fans will be very familiar with the character that is the ‘Ross Dog’ but he’s genuinely one of the best blokes I know — hilarious but also really genuine. He’s also incredibly competitive, as we’ll get to later.

Now that’s out of the way, we split up into lines of five and run through various drills from butt kicks, karaokes, stiff leg runs and sumo squats.

I’m in between Tyrone Amey, who is experiencing his first pre-season, and Jack Johns.

Sprint training with the halves. Pic courtesy of Newcastle Knights. Source: Supplied

Now we’re warm, we break up into groups for sprint training.

With me are Brock Lamb, Jack Cogger, Tom Starling, Kalyn Ponga, Pat Mata’utia and Aidan Guerra.

“Lean forward, catch yourself and then stride out,” Portese instructs us.

After variations of sprints including a drills where you accelerate for 10 metres, slow down to simulate a change of direction by the oppositions attack and then accelerate again, we head out to the centre of the pitch.

CAT AND MOUSE

“Find a partner of similar pace to you,” Portese says.

I look around the group as Connor Watson and Kalyn Ponga pair up, Nick Meaney and Nathan Ross come together and I’m left alone before I’m directed towards Zac Hosking.

He was the Knights’ NYC skipper and player of the year for 2017.

A bit of cat and mouse. Source: FOX SPORTS

We’re told we’ll be playing a game of “cat and mouse”. Standing at halfway, we face our partner and told to create some distance.

Not too much distance that overtaking your partner is impossible but enough to make it difficult.

I’m chasing Zac first. On ‘go’, he turns and sprint for the try line. I’m left in his dust.

We high five and I tell Zac I got nowhere near him.

“Did anyone catch their partner?” Portese asks.

Radio silence. “Close the distance.”

Great, I think to myself. This time I’m the mouse and I can feel Zac right on my back.

“I was close,” he told me after I cross the line.

LET’S GET READY TO RUMBLE

Fitzy about to dominate me in the wrestle ... again! Source: FOX SPORTS

Until this point, I’ve managed to get through the session with no trouble.

The GPS shows my average heart rate is 160 beats per minute as the squad heads to the far end of the field and spreads out across the in-goal.

We have a minute of wrestle followed by “Malcoms”. I’ll explain. We have to run 100 metres, touch the line, run to the 20m line, hit the deck, get back to our feet and run to the 10 metre, hit the deck, get back up and run back to the try line, touch the line and run back 100 metres.

I’m exhausted just thinking about it but first, the wrestle.

We get onto our knees and face off. Chest to chest, we wrap our arms around each other’s backs and jostle for position when Fitzy drives me into the turf. I have grass in my ears and Lachlan’s left forearm across my face.

Lachlan Fitzgibbon absolutely towels me up on the wrestle. Source: FOX SPORTS

I’m desperately trying to hook his arm so I can try and flip him over but his defensive technique and strength is too great for me.

If you follow me on social media, you’ll know I wrestle. The kind of wrestling I do is the stuff you’ll see on TV with the spandex - but there’s nothing fake about this.

I’m using so much energy fighting against Fitzy and I’m exhausted.

“Make him work, Fitzy,” one of the trainers yells. “Put your weight on him.”

I’m fighting to flip him over but nothing is working. As I fight, his elbow finds my cheek, then my throat and not only am I exhausted but I’m bruised.

I don’t even hear the trainers tell us to get up. Fitzy springs off me and starts running as I gingerly get to my feet and follow the boys down the field.

“Come on, Nath,” Fitzy encourages as he runs past me for his first lot of Malcoms.

I shuffle over the line two seconds after the last of the boys.

My lungs are burning and I need to spew. Source: FOX SPORTS

“Not good enough. Penalties,” Portese shouts.

I can’t print what Nathan Ross said but put it this way, he wasn’t happy.

The entire team was punished because of an unfit journalist. ‘This will make me a lot of friends’, I think to myself.

We have to do six leapfrogs each and are told to partner up. Guerra grabs me and tells me to crawl through his legs. I do that, jump over his back and repeat the process. Then it’s his turn.

I’M TRYING TO SPEW BUT NOTHING WILL COME OUT

I do my punishment with Aidan Guerra ... sorry boys! Source: FOX SPORTS

Now back in to wrestle. Fitzy comes back over and we’re off again.

Boom! Back to the deck. This is embarrassing. He’s manhandling me.

The way the session was described to me was as ‘high volume and high intensity’. No kidding.

Back to our feet and we’re doing ‘Malcolms’.

The GPS I’m wearing clocks a max heart rate at 190 beats per minute.

I’m short of breath, my legs are heavy and sun is pounding down on my bald, white head.

I think I’m going to spew.

Yep. Here it comes. Hunched over, hands on the ground I’m gagging. Nothing comes out so I continue back to the other end of the field.

Nathan Brown and assistant coach James Shepherd look on. Shepherd has a chuckle.

I've never felt so helpless. Source: FOX SPORTS

As I shuffle back I lock eyes with Mick Potter who asks, “Are you having fun yet?”

“No. I’m battling mate.”

I dry retch again.

As luck would have it, a mate from school is standing across the road and waves as I gesture back, shaking my head.

After missing the wrestling component as I dry retch, I head to the try line and wait for the boys to spring up for their next lap.

We repeat the process.

I can’t see Fitzy but the trainers pair me up with Josh King.

“Come on,” he instructs me. He’s already on his knees ready to wrestle. I drop down to the grass and ‘whoosh’, he’s taken me down within the blink of an eye.

Gag city! I'm trying to spew but nothing will come out. Source: FOX SPORTS

He’s got three feet and 17kgs on me. He’s monstered me.

“Put your weight on him,” a trainer says to Josh.

He pushes down and I can feel every kilo.

I can’t move my upper body. My arms are trapped and kicking my legs does nothing. Moments later, he’s off me and we’re running again.

Thankfully that was the last lap. I’m spent. Some of the other boys are too.

“Body language,” Guerra shouts at a handful of boys. “You shouldn’t have to be told. Get your hands off your hips.”

I’m sent over to the side of the field where the drinks are, as the rest of the boys are split into two teams to run through set plays and a bit of opposed work.

I’m stoked because I think I have a breather but I’m actually going into the rehab group where the boys who are off contact are.

“How you feeling, Nath?” coach Brown calls out.

“I’m battling, me,” I respond.

The struggle is real as 'Kingy' squeezes the life out of me. Source: FOX SPORTS

Agility poles and witches hats are laid out along the sideline and I’m put through a drill.

Sprint diagonally, run out to the witch’s hat, drop down to your stomach, hit the next witch’s hat, another diagonal run, out to the agility polls, step in and out of those and repeat the process at the other end.

Finished. Nope. Go again. In my mind, I’m my legs are moving as fast as they can but in reality my pace is nothing more than a slow jog.

Now it’s time for some group fitness … because I haven’t run enough already.

Mitch Barnett is wearing a long-sleeved top. He told me earlier in the day that he fell asleep on the beach yesterday and is red raw.

Tautau Moga, Daniel Saifiti and Jack Johns are also part of the group.

Some serious head noise. Pic courtesy of Newcastle Knights. Source: Supplied

We start at the try line, run out to the second 40-metre line, turn and come back to halfway where we have a breather for five seconds. Back out to the farthest 40 metres, touch the line and run 60 metres to the try line.

Two laps later and I’m hurting.

Tony looks over with a cheeky grin and asks me, “What time is it?”

What are you talking about? I’m confused.

“Best time of my life,” Daniel Saifiti announces.

It’s a saying Tony introduced to the club. I love it and so do the players.

The rehab running group ready to slog it out. Source: FOX SPORTS

Luckily for me, our rehab run is over and the rest of the team are still running through their opposed session, so I have time for a breather.

As I grab a water bottle, a stalwart of the club bails me up for a chat. It’s here I cop the best sledge of the day and it’s from the older gentleman who fills up the water bottles.

“Did you do any training to prepare for today?” he asked me with a look of disgust painted across his face.

He didn’t want a bar of me and wandered off to hand out waters to the boys that deserved them. I can’t argue with that. I admired his honesty … even though his words did cut deep.

BROTHERS ON THREE

It’s time for more wrestle con.

“I don’t think I can do it,” I confide to Jack Johns as we walk back onto the field.

I head into the Knights’ private pool room with Slade Griffin who tells me he’s currently living in an Airbnb until he can find a home to rent. “It’s been difficult to find something being so close to Christmas,” he explained.

Brothers on three ... one ... two ... three .. "Brothers". Source: FOX SPORTS

Rossy, Cogger, Pearcey, Slade, Jacob Saifiti, Sam Stone, Christian Hazzard and Matt Cooper are split between the showers, ice baths and spa.

After a cold shower, I follow Rossy into the ice bath. Wow. The word freezing does not do it justice. It hurts. My feet are throbbing.

How long are we meant to stay in for?

“A minute,” Rossy says pointing to a sign on that wall that reads one minute ice bath, one minute spa, repeat six times.

I last about 30 seconds before I jump out. My feet are aching.

“It takes a while to get used to,” Griffin said.

I jump into the ice bath and yep, it's really cold. Source: FOX SPORTS

After a quick bite to eat, it’s 12.45pm and time for weights. I’m in the first group with Shaun Kenny-Dowall, Rossy, Buhrer, Moga, Fitzy, Ken Sio, Sam Stone, Corey Dennis, Brent Naden and Christian Hazzard.

CLANGIN’ AND BANGIN’

Luke Portese is running the session with the bulk of the squad doing testing but I have hypertrophy training with Tony Ayoub.

First up is the plyo swing. Not many gyms have this piece of equipment. It’s a killer.

You sit in a chair, put your feet high on the platform and push off as hard as you can. A thick rubber band is wrapped around the bottom of chair which keeps the tension on.

Tony Ayoub is a machine. Source: FOX SPORTS

“You’re going to do as many efforts as you can do in 20 seconds,” Tony explains. “You have 10 seconds rest and then go again. We’re doing this eight times. Let’s go.”

Rossy is next to me doing landmine presses and encouraging me as I work my already lactic acid-filled pins.

“C’mon, Exclusive,” he yells.

“What time is it?” I ask him.

“Best time of my life,” he says.

My bum is sore and quads are twitching.

The legs are burning but we get it done. Source: FOX SPORTS

To my left, Sam Stone and Corey Dennis are on the incline bench press. Tony and I hit that next, followed by more legs and finally shoulders.

A bell rings and I look up as Rossy, chest out, rings a small golden bell attached to the wall. He’s just broken a PB.

SKD rings the bell, too.

In between sets, Tony encourages the others in the gym and shares a joke.

“Some boys are in here at 6am,” Tony tells me. “The guys who we want to put weight on are doing two-a-days. They lift heavy in the morning and then have a lighter session in the afternoon.

“Stoney is doing really well. He’s already put on four kilos.”

A few near spews, lactic acid-filled legs and a bit of sunburn later and I’m done.

The Dog rings the bell for reaching a BP. Source: FOX SPORTS

I’ve survived pre-season. Well, one day of it. After thanking the boys and the trainers, I leave the gym.

Darren Mooney and Nathan Brown pop out for a debrief.

“I think you’re crazy,” Browny says.

He might be right.

I don’t feel crazy, though. I feel tired.

While I prepare to head back to Sydney, the boys finish the day with a massage before lobbing at headquarters to do it all again.

There’s no way I can back that up. Three days later and I’m still hobbling. My hamstrings ache, my quads are heavy and my heels hurt.

Respect boys. Now, what time is it again?