Sure, no one like standardized tests… but you’re not going to make a federal case about it. Except this guy, Edward Thomas Kennedy, who filed a complaint in the District of Delaware against Duke Law School and a slew of other parties including Harvard University, the Law School Admissions Council, the Association of American Law Schools, the California Bar Association, the Pennsylvania Bar Association, and U.S. Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos.

As the Duke Chronicle reports, Kennedy applied to Duke Law but didn’t actually take the LSAT, which is a required component of the admissions process. As a result, Kennedy’s application was withdrawn by the school.

Kennedy’s complaint — available in full here — doesn’t try to make some slick argument for the GRE to become the law school admissions test of choice, but rather appears to be a jumble of legal buzzwords that seems to be designed to protest actual standards in law school admissions:

Kennedy’s argument in the complaint alleges the defendants “exceeded [their] jurisdiction by allowing [their] employees to deny Kennedy admission to its law schools.” He submitted the complaint with nine causes of action, including intentional infliction of emotional distress, trespass on the cause and failure to provide a republican form of government and false advertising. …. Under the cause of action of “Failure to Provide a Republican Form of Government and False Advertising,” Kennedy wrote that the business model of Duke University, as well as those of the LSAC, the Association of American Law Schools, the Pennsylvania Bar Association, the California Bar Association and Harvard College, are “based on a foundation of deception, lies, false advertising and fraud.”

But my personal favorite line from the complaint is the objection to the LSAT because of the perennial scourge of prospective law students everywhere known as logic games:

“LSAT tests today are junk science and called ‘games.'”

It, ah, doesn’t seem like Duke is sweating it:

“The allegations in the complaint are not supported by the law or the facts,” wrote Michael Schoenfeld, vice president for public affairs and government relations, in an email. “We will request that the lawsuit be dismissed.”

It seems unlikely this complaint will go anywhere, but it sure is fun to read.

Kathryn Rubino is a Senior Editor at Above the Law, and host of The Jabot podcast. AtL tipsters are the best, so please connect with her. Feel free to email her with any tips, questions, or comments and follow her on Twitter (@Kathryn1).