DEAR Scotland, do you dream of new friends? Reliable welfare states who are part of the EU and respect your independence?

Then come join us in Scandinavia.

We have noticed the flirtatious looks from the SNP for some time. And if you persuade Boris Johnson to let you go, we will make room for you in our cosy club of Scandinavian countries.

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The people of Denmark could be your closest allies. We feel your struggle and we support you in your push for independence. As a small country, we have plenty of experience with being pushed around by larger, more conservative neighbours (we are looking at you, Germany). You might think that our proposition is a bit blunt. But when you think about it, we small Nordic countries need to stick together in this era of Brexit.

Of course, we apologise for the whole Viking thing. But, on the upside, it means that we already have a lot in common. Not just our common past, which comes to light during the Viking festival in the Shetlands, but also in our language.

Many Scottish words are almost the same as in Danish. Even the word “kilt” is derived from Old Norse! We both value education – not in the Tory prime minister kind of way, but in the actual-equal-access-to-education way. We share the same latitude, our populations are the same size, the weather is equally bad, and much, much more.

Making Scotland part of Scandinavia would be mutually beneficial. We know a thing or two about wind power, and you guys obviously have a lot to teach us when it comes to whisky. We can also throw in some Scandinavian design, bad jokes, bacon, Lurpak and Lego.

We also have high salaries and high standards of living in general – and we promise you that plenty of Danish businesses are ready to give you a warm and hyggelig welcome.

Perhaps we could make our own deal on fisheries that everyone could be happy with, then call it a day and grab a drink!

So dear Scotland, even though life seems tough right now, just remember – there is a life for you after Brexit.

Just join Scandinavia.

From Mads Anneberg and Tine Toft, hosts of the programme Lobbyland on Danish Public Radio4