by Bonk's Mullet



Final score: Toronto 5-Ottawa 4 (SO)









1st Period Viewers of CBC's Hockey Night in Canada were treated to a masterpiece on Saturday night. Rarely do two teams put together such a perfect blend of speed, skill, and horrible decision-making. Toronto's forwards ran around Ottawa's defence all night, and despite giving Ottawa a two goal lead, managed to steal the victory in a shootout. Here's your Bonk's Mullet Game Summary™.

In lieu of their usual long-winded pre-game ceremony honouring legends of Leafs past, the Leafs had a fan give a speech that was more representative of the current team....

Early in the game (we're not too concerned with accuracy here at BM.com), Cowen, Wiercioch, and Greening got caught chasing the puck, allowing Mason Raymond scored his first of the season. It should be noted that Darcy Tucker and Colby Armstrong are being paid more by the Leafs than Mason Raymond this year (h/t Steve Dangle), so a big congrats to Raymond on outperforming his contract comparables!

Minutes later, Jared Cowen works in deep around the Leafs defenders and dishes the puck to Kyle Turris, who buries the puck like it's Zibanejad's contract. 1-1 game.

Cory "Honey Badger" Conacher steals the puck off of Franson's stick and goes off the post, off Reimer's pads and in, while Clarke MacArthur shoves Reimer into the net for the bonus point (under Calvinball rules).

After a lazy tripping penalty by Erik Karlsson, and a love-tap-stick-breaking-automatic-slashing penalty on Smith, the Leafs were given a 5-on-3, on which they scored just as Karlsson's penalty expired. Phillips had a nice view of the goal as he took his usual mid-game nap behind the net. All square at 2 after one period. 2nd Period Early in the period, Spezza high sticks Dion Phaneuf in the face, which is a penalty Sens fans are oddly okay with (Suck it Phaneuf).

Erik "I'm totally 100%" Karlsson gets beat cleanly for the umpteenth time of the night by James van Riemsdyk. The only thing moving slower than Karlsson tonight was his Bell internet connection. I hope you wrote your Norris predictions in pencil.

After a series of scoring chances for Ottawa, Jared "Megatron" Cowen shoots the puck past a fallen Optimus Reim. 3-2 Sens.

16 seconds later, Jason Spezza slaps one past Reimer. Enter Bernier (Hint: Things go really poorly from here on out).

The Leafs score a goal "Craig Anderson would like to have back," according to experts. 3rd Period

Clarke MacArthur has more difficulty buying a goal than Melnyk buying a casino. He had about 3 or 4 pointblank chances all night and failed to score.

After a bad pinch by Methot, Karlsson decides it best to let his buddy Marc learn from his mistakes as he watches the ensuing 2-on-1 result in a goal. Seriously, Karlsson was bad.

With 3 minutes to play, both teams showed how badly they wanted to win in regulation by putting Chris Neil and Colton Orr out on the ice.

Glenn Healy, Jim Hughson and Craig Simpson share a romantic bubble bath while discussing how wise it is of the Leafs coaching staff to keep putting Morgan Rielly back out on the ice despite him being beaten repeatedly by the Turris line (he was a -3). OT A bunch of terrible, sloppy things happened, including a failed Leafs PP. Shootout

Mason Raymond scored one of his patented "that probably shouldn't count but we don't really have any rule that prevents it but let's complain about the ambiguity of the rulebook every time it happens" spin-o-rama goals.

Spezza and Michalek failed to score, while Bozak scored one fivehole, earning the Leafs the George W. Closing Thoughts

Bonk's Bums: Michalek-Spezza-Ryan are still working out the kinks. They had a few shifts where they generated scoring chances, but on the whole, they did nothing to look like a line of elite forwards.



Mullet's Valuable Players: MacArthur-Turris-Conacher, on the other hand, were an absolute force. Paul MacLean would have played them for 65 minutes if he could have.





More Bums: Speaking of playing 65 minutes, Karlsson was certainly missing an ankle a step. Who knows what his true recovery timeline looks like. Cowen and Wiercioch had a whole slue of miscommunications, while Phillips and Corvo may have played for a few minutes at some point. Really no point in spending more time picking apart this one, it was u-g-l-y.



