Let me tell y’all something, you have to develop an appetite for healthy relationships when toxic ones have been the only kind that seemed to satiate your relational hunger in the past.

Some of us think our “type” is successful, tall, or whatever, but in reality our type is toxic, manipulative and abusive, wrapped up in whatever bell and whistle we say we like, and we’ll be dammed if we don’t find a way to be mistreated because it’s what’s comfortable to us.

A lot of us cannot enjoy healthy relationships b/c we don’t have to work as hard to try and earn the love of a healthy, emotionally stable person, and so we think the relationship lacks excitement and fun b/c it doesn’t require us to go to the outer limits of our mind to maintain

And when people love us for just who we are and the joy we bring them, rather than now much we put up with from them, we think something is wrong with them when the issue is often with US in thinking love was supposed to be something we endured abuse to attain.

you have to almost rewire your relationship pallet to where games, gaslighting and instability don’t “taste” as good to you as security, honesty and respect does. When you are able to do this, you will walk to the other side of the street when you see crazy coming your way.

And the saddest part is that if we are honest, real REAL honest, we are chasing something that actually hurt us when we were children. We are chasing that absent fathers, that mother who was distant, the qualities of the people we resent the most we seek out in the ppl we date

Because we know how to handle rejection, we know all lyrics to the “Please Affirm Me” song, and we look for opportunities to capture what we never could from our caretakers and parents in these toxic ass relationships that we cannot seem to get enough of...

But let me tell you something, your daddy was probably a broken little boy who never grew into fatherhood, or manhood, and your mama had some issues to, but you will never resolve their shortcomings by trying to get from someone else what you couldn’t get from them.

And, let me say one more thing & imma go. A lot of US are just one raggedy ass relationship away from the year we all are hoping 2019 will be. But you gotta hang up that phone, block that number, and fake it till you make it, if needed ,on believing you deserve more.

I just wanted to say all that to say, it’s not too late to try and start thinking differently about the ways in which you may be helping or hindering yourself from the things you want. A lot of what we do and allow starts w/ a thought, a belief about ourselves which set the bar.

Challenge yourself to think critically about what you believe about yourself, your worth, and what you deserve. If you wanna push it a little more, explore the roots of those thoughts and who planted the seeds which have you rooted in that thought pattern.

And see if your relationship pallet could use a little change of profile, for your health, wellness and peace of mind.

You can follow @ilove_vonnie.

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