Emu: Ostrich rip-off.

Ducks hanging out in pond at the zoo: Are they part of the goddamn zoo or not?

Emperor penguin: Didn’t incubate its egg properly, so its offspring froze to death in the embryo stage. Nice going, pal.

Pheasant: This hornswoggled fuck got its entire clutch of eggs stolen by foxes.

Hummingbird: Despite last year’s strong showing, hummingbirds have really fallen off in 2018. Sad to see it happen.

Albatross: The only thing these birds are portending is how much they suck.