How To Easily Keep a Conversation Going As an Introvert

Keeping a conversation alive when you’re an introvert can seem annoying when you’re not used to it. Not only does it drain your energy faster than the average person, but you’re put in a situation you’re already not comfortable in.

Have you ever been in a conversation when out of the blue, quietness suddenly appeared? Perhaps whenever you’re alone you enjoy the quietness, but when you’re with another person, it suddenly turns against you. You’re staying there gazing at each other and pondering what to say. You don’t want the conversation to end, but there’s only so many ideas your brain can come up with.

Before you hit the panic button in your head, first be aware that the other person is probably pondering the same thing too. You’re both probably wondering how to resurrect the conversation before the other person thinks you’re boring.

30 seconds of silence can feel like 30 minutes. You begin questioning what you’re expected to do to keep the conversation alive. But do you know one of the best techniques that an introvert can use to keep a conversation steady? That technique is maintaining the ability to shut up and listen. It doesn’t get any simpler than that.

People often get in a competition with one another to say something out of their mouths and that gets exhausting. There’s so many thoughts and ideas people want to shoot out of their heads. Thus, they need someone who’s willing to listen to what they should say without the impulse to interrupt them every second.

Every conversation needs a listener and it’s often the listener who’s valued the most. For without an ear to listen to the other person’s thoughts, there will be no conversation. It’ll be like having a peanut butter and jelly sandwich without the bread.

Someone isn’t going to feel excited if they tell someone who’s not even listening about how they aced a test that day. But if they told someone who’s willing to listen to them, it conjures up those positive emotions they received earlier, thus making that person even more valuable to them than before.

But listening isn’t the only solution to maintaining a conversation. The next step is to ask relevant questions that pertains to the individual. Ask them about something they said earlier and dig deeper into it. They won’t be afraid to get into the details if you show you’re truly interested.

Ask the right questions

Stay away from yes or no questions. They’re traps that place the conversation on hold until the next random topic pops into your head. Get information about the type of music they enjoy listening to. This could prompt a wide range of conversational topics such as iPods, shows, CDs and MP3’s.

And like I mentioned before, make it a priority to remember what they said earlier. When you say “I like your shirt. Where did you get it?” If their reaction is “I got it the Monster Cover. They had a sale this weekend.” Then, when it gets calm, you clearly realize that they probably like Monster products considering they went to a Monster Cover event.

An Introvert Tip on Flirting

To make it clear for any shy guys out there, flirting is exciting and fun. There’s nothing really shameful about it unless you make it so. You flirt with the friendly cashier who enjoys checking you out, you flirt with that cute student who goes to your school, and you flirt with strangers with mere eye contact. Everyone flirts in some way or another.

And when done right, flirting can become one of the best games to play with a man or woman. I’ve always found men who flirted to be quite enjoyable compared to those who didn’t. It’s what gets you comfortable with speaking to woman.

A woman wants to feel wooed and charmed. They want to laugh and goof around. They want to be themselves. But I’ll be frank with you and admit flirting isn’t easy. Especially if you’re not used to it. But one of the key aspects is to plainly be comfortable with yourself.

Don’t be afraid of failing when you speak to a woman. Most women would choose a guy who at least initiated the conversation rather than the guy who stands quietly in the corner, hoping she approached him. It takes guts to approach women and we put that into consideration because we’re too afraid to do that ourselves.

Therefore, use the listening tip mentioned above along with asking the right questions. Be the person who knows how to have fun and can hold conversations. By using these two rules in a smart fashion, it should land you a date. Oh, and speaking of dates…

HOW TO KEEP A CONVERSATION GOING DURING DATES

As a lady, I’ll say nothing makes us more uncomfortable on dates than someone who can’t keep the conversation going. As much as we anticipate that you will be a respectable man while showing us you can have a good time, we also like to anticipate your ability to keep a conversation going smoothly.

Try to keep us intrigued with jokes, your sense of humor, and your ability to not take life so seriously. Reveal what you really enjoy doing as you try to dig into our lives as well. Ask us questions about what we enjoy reading, what movies we always wanted to watch but never had the opportunity, and how would our friends describe us. You want your questions to aim at getting the woman to think about her answer and let it originate from her emotions.

You ever wondered why you see women charmed by dorky men? That’s because they’re not afraid to be themselves and they’re not questioning their ability to hold a fun conversation with a woman. I’ve come across men who were really handsome, but couldn’t hold an interesting conversation to save their lives, thus making them boring. I’ve also come across men who the average women wouldn’t consider “hot” but was funny and enjoyable to be around.

If you come across a woman who doesn’t appear to provide much to the conversation, that’s because you haven’t found her fun spot yet. She’s still holding a force field around her and your goal is to penetrate her weak point. From there, you’ll unleash a lady who can talk forever with no issue at all keeping the conversation going.

Be Conscious of Your Reactions

One of the first and least demanding steps to keep a conversation running during a date is to react to what she’s stating. Normally when I come across a man who has the listening part down during a date, I question if he’s really listening to me because he looks like a living statue.

He doesn’t show empathy or compassion when I mention an irritating event. He doesn’t show excitement when I tell him about a promotion or accomplishment I experienced. And even though he might be listening to everything I tell him, I’ll feel a slight discomfort with him because of what he’s portraying. I can’t read minds, and the best way I get an idea of how he feels is if he reveals it to me on his face.

You don’t have to say that much in a conversation, but at least put in the effort to change faces depending on the topic you’re on. She doesn’t only want you to listen to what she’s saying. She wants you to feel what she’s saying too. If she’s discussing the time someone dumped soda on her, don’t simply nod your head while smiling.

Pose a Question After a Reaction

As a bonus, an effective way to capture her interest for you is to ask her questions depending on the type of reaction you gave her. When she’s speaking about her new shoes, react about the shoes and ask related questions. It could be where she bought her shoes from, why she chooses those shoes, or when she plans to wear them.

Asking questions after your reaction takes your amusement to the next level, it’s a good substitute to add into a conversation if you don’t have any good conversation topics to hold on your own. It also makes it easier for you to speak in the conversation because your reaction will often bring forth a 1.5 second silent gap.

Raise Famous Moments from The Past

You ever heard a song that resonates from your childhood and suddenly, you hear everyone in your respected age group reacting positively to it? I see it happen every time I go to a club and they start playing Nsync or some 90s song.

That’s because people find it easier to connect with someone based on something that happened in their past. They remember the positive events that occurred in their childhood or teenage years and this makes the average person happy.

Thus, if you’re speaking to someone in your age group, bring up an old television show that you used to admire as a child. Think of songs, movies, or even commercials that you remembered as a teenager.

This raises people youth and make them feel great because you resurrected the adolescence sentiments within them. This is what buys you another 5 – 10 minutes of conversations if you continue exploring the different stages of each other childhood or teenage years. By then, you’ll find a different topic to shift the conversation.

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