In case you were wondering what Christian preacher John Piper thinks about sex dreams — and nobody was — we now have the answer.

Someone dared to ask Piper how to handle such dreams, as a 31-year-old man who’s been “married for 12 years to a wonderful woman.”

Piper offered no advice of value. He said this was a common topic he’s asked about, which is a strange statement on its own given the existence of Google, and then proceeded to make everything worse.

… God uses false prophets and lying dreams, even accompanied by supernatural signs and wonders, to test his people. So, it’s not wrong while these dreams are tormenting you to say, “Dreams, Satan, brain, hormones, whatever you are, I won’t be sucked in by this. I see how my faith is being tested here. Do I love my wife? Do I love purity? Do I love holiness? Do I love Christ, who died to make me pure? Yes, I do. I will not be undone by this test. I will pass it by faith in the blood of Jesus to cover all my sins, to empower me to walk in the truth.” So, I think it’s not wrong to say, “I don’t know why, but I’m being tested by these dreams, and I’m going to pass this test.”

In any case, Piper eventually said the right thing: That a dream is just a dream, and that what matters more is what the writer does when he’s awake. But that’s shoved in between paragraphs of nonsense.

If the anonymous questioner really is troubled by his own fantasies, here’s some actually helpful advice: Talk to a professional therapist. Not a preacher who just pretends to know everything.

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