Oh, Nintendo of America. You sweet summer child. I really appreciate your efforts for a cute Toad-centric Twitter question sesh to celebrate another Mario Party game, but things have taken a dark turn. As if you were the second coming of Andrew WK, you solicited fans for questions about parties. But your request has been manipulated into something else. Fans are going straight for the deep stuff; the hard, prying, existential questions that we all ask ourselves deep in the pits of despair.

Come to think of it, this actually sounds like a lot of parties I end up at.

What do you want to #AskToad? pic.twitter.com/M5qz104AFP — Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) November 3, 2016

@NintendoAmerica #AskToad Which Toad is this? Are you a significant Toad compared to all the other Toads? How do we know which Toad is real? — James LaRosa (@furretdonuts) November 3, 2016

@NintendoAmerica what do you really think about Bowser? Like realllllyyyy?!? #AskToad — Sydney WGP (@WGPFearlessSyd) November 3, 2016

do you have very short legs or are your feet directly attached to your hips #AskToad — erin (@noiverns) November 3, 2016

@NintendoAmerica #AskToad Is it a hat or part of your head? — Murugo (@MurugalStudio) November 3, 2016

(Oh wait, I think we have an answer for this one.)

OK, back to our questions.

@NintendoAmerica #asktoad toad how do i save my failing marriage — (@ferretmeat) November 3, 2016

#mariopartystarrush #asktoad what do i have to do so Karen stops bringing her #nintendoswitch to all the parties!!?? Dammit Karen, STOP! — Ed Ramirez (@EdLambdaTeos) November 3, 2016

@NintendoAmerica when is mother 3 coming to america — ☃️MOTHER Universe (@MOTHERverse) November 3, 2016

Well, this rapidly spiraled. Maybe once Toad starts answering it’ll —

If you’re going to throw a party, make sure to pick up party hats for all your friends! pic.twitter.com/vf7hSG7THy — Nintendo of America (@NintendoAmerica) November 3, 2016

@NintendoAmerica That is clearly a dunce cap. — Platypus Man (@Platypus222) November 3, 2016

Ah. Well, nevermind.

@NintendoAmerica Is the implication here Toad has no friends, because no one else has hats — PLDH.net (@PLDHnet) November 3, 2016

@NintendoAmerica are you asking us to live a life of celibacy toad, jesus christ man. — William Carpenter (@WillCarpenterJR) November 3, 2016

Sorry, buddy. I’m sure you have friends. But first, can you answer this question?