Let me tell you something about the UK. We like chips, and we like beer, and there is only one other thing we completely agree on as a group of countries. We think "Wonderwall" is shit.

But like, shit in a good way, right? Shit in the same way that gameshows are shit—like, you don't hate it, you actually love it, begrudgingly, because you've come to accept it as a facet of culture that has just always been there. "Wonderwall," while not the UK's national anthem (that's this; find a British person who doesn't know every word and you have done the impossible), is kind of like an alternate "Rule Britannia," in that it is a horrible song that we sing when we're emotional about winning sports events. That's our relationship with "Wonderwall." Don't @ me.

For some reason, however, in my experience, Americans think that "Wonderwall" is cool, and what's more, they think that Brits think "Wonderwall" is extremely cool. I am here to tell you that neither is true. But this is why it makes perfect sense that Paris Hilton, DJ extraordinaire—who recently announced a "deep house" album—has been dropping remixes of "Wonderwall" into her sets, as Time reports. Enjoy:

Ibiza's clubs, as we know, are largely populated by British and European tourists, so perhaps Paris thinks she's catering to the tastes of her audiences, but in reality, it's probably more that she's recreating the vibe of a nostalgic student night in Hull where shots of Sourz are 70p.

Anyway: spread the message far and wide. We love "Wonderwall" like an embarrassing uncle, but nothing more. It is, unfortunately, not cool. Paris, America, this has been your primer.