Do you have big boobs?

Then do I have some excellent news for you and your tig ol' bitties!

To make up for the fact that you cannot ever seem to buy a button down shirt that stays well and truly buttoned, science has discovered that women with big boobs tend to be more intelligent than woman with small boobs!

I'm kidding, obviously nothing makes up for the whole button down shirt debacle, but you've got to admit that this is still, all things considered, pretty awesome news.

In the study, conducted by a sociologist at the University of Chicago, 1,200 women were divided into groups based on the size of their boobs.

I don't know if they told the women that this was what was happening, but I can tell you based on the results, that all the women with D-cups probably took one swift look around the room and were like "ohhhhh, we have been divided up into groups according to breast sizes, that is strange. Also, may I ask you stranger with boobs that are just as big as mine, where do you buy your bras?"

All of the women took an IQ test (presumably the same one, but IDK, the study doesn't say) and women with big boobs scored on average TEN POINTS higher than everyone else.

A lot of people are reading this study and being all "wait wait wait, women with big boobs can be intelligent? MY MIND IS 100% blown!" Proving that they are certainly all small boob-havers.

Lol, the joke there is that if you assume a woman with large boobs is stupid, you yourself are the one who is a big ol' dummy, yes ma'am.

The study simply presented the information. It didn't speculate as to why the women with big boobs scored higher than the women with small boobs. Which is too bad, really, because that's a study I'd like to read.

What the study did underline the fact that women with big boobs face a huge amount of stigma from the populace at large.

If you have big boobs people think things about you, and those things aren't good.

People think with women with big boobs are promiscuous, are seductresses, or that they've got sex on the brain. But the truth is you can only tell one thing about a woman who has big boobs by looking at them: that they are boobs, and they are big.

Let this study be an important reminder to us all about the way we perceive women. Instead of doing further analysis of the women, the study was fine with assuming that breast size was the only variable among the groups.

They didn't factor in anything else.

In a sample size THAT small (and in science, a sample like this is considered small) it's contributing to the stereotyping we do everyday just to go ahead and decide that breast size is the only thing that sets these women apart from each other.

We look at a woman who is "sexy" and in our minds this means that "sexy" is all she is capable of being.

That couldn't be further from the truth.

I've got boobs that are in the E to F cup size and I'm also a pretty smart lady.

That said, I love sex AND I'm also pretty well-educated and know my way around words and what have you.

Sign Up for the YourTango Newsletter Let's make this a regular thing!

A woman, to coin a phrase, is vast. She contains multitudes. If we judged men based solely on the size of their penis or the condition of their hairline people would be outraged. But do it to a woman and it's no big deal. Let's nip this double standard, shall we?