[chime sounding]

- GOOD MORNING,SOUTH PARK ELEMENTARY.

THESE ARETHE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS.

PARENT/TEACHER CONFERENCESBEGIN NEXT THURSDAY.

IF YOU HAVE NOT YET DONE SO,

PLEASE TURN IN YOURPARENTS' REQUESTED TIME SHEETS

BY THE ENDOF FIFTH PERIOD TODAY.

LUNCH TODAY WILL BE A CHOICEOF CHICKEN TOSTADAS

OR SPAGHETTI WITHA MARINARA SAUCE AND SIDE SALAD.

ATTENTION, FOURTH GRADERS,

THE FALL REGISTRATIONFOR GLEE CLUB STARTS TOMORROW.

ANY INTERESTED STUDENTSSHOULD FILL OUT A--

[door opens, rattling]

WHOA!WHAT'S GOING ON?

- I'LL KILL YOU!I SWEAR TO GOD, I'LL KILL YOU!

- WHO ARE YOU?

- I'M THE MAN WHO'S GONNA PUTA BULLET BETWEEN YOUR EYES!

- HEY, HE'S GOT A GUN!

- YOU LITTLE BASTARD!

YOU FUCKED MY WIFE!YOU THINK I WOULDN'T FIND OUT?

- SIR, PLEASE, I DON'T KNOW YOU.- YEAH, RIGHT!

- ALL RIGHT, WHAT THE HELLIS GOING ON HERE?

YOU, SIR,NEED TO LEAVE THIS AREA--

[gunshot]

- OH, GOD, HE SHOT HIM!

- YOU HAD TO PUSH ME,DIDN'T YOU?

NOW YOU!

- AAH!SIR, I TRULY DON'T KNOW--

[gunshot]AAH! AAH!

- THERE!

HOW DOES IT FEEL, HUH?

- PLEASE, I DON'T KNOW YOU!

- YOU'RE GORDON SALTSKI, RIGHT?

TRUCK DRIVER FROM CHICAGO?

- NO, I'M GORDON STOLTSKI,

THIRD GRADER WHO READSTHE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS!

- YEAH, RIGHT.WE'LL SEE IF THAT'S TRUE.

GO ON, READTHE MORNING ANNOUNCEMENTS!

- SOMEBODY HELP ME!

- I SAID DO IT!

- AAH! AAH!

AAH! AAH!

[screaming in pain]ANY--ANY INTERESTED STUDENTS

SHOULD FILL OUTAN APPLICANT SURVEY--

[slap]AAH! AAH!

- I KNEW YOU WERE LYING!

THAT WAS TERRIBLE!

NOW PUT YOUR MOUTHOVER THE BARREL OF THIS GUN.

- NO, PLEASE.I'M SO SCARED.

I'M SO SCARED.- DO IT!

- PLEASE!

I-I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU SAY!HERE, HERE, SEE?

[muffled]I GOT MY MOUTH ON THE--

[gunshot]

- LOOK AT YOU NOW.

WE'RE ALL DEAD.

[gunshot]