Continuing from Part 1 of my Exumas Sailing Trip, once I had learned the ropes (both literally and figuratively) of my ship well enough, it was time to pursue my own agenda.

Now when I say “my”, I of course mean that of Long Body Crusoe – the legendary pirate wiener dog who is feared and revered across the 7 seas for his ruthless good looks, his uncanny ability to seduce even the most imaginary of mermaids, and his insatiable appetite for digging up buried treasure (but mostly for just digging in general).

As mentioned in my earlier post on Getting Ready for the Bahamas, I, Long Body Crusoe, have memorized an old pirate treasure map in anticipation for this trip.

Now the time has come I steer this ship towards my own agenda; the treasure I seek!

I spent the first couple days of our trip just preparing to launch my carefully rehearsed plan. I needed to have the others believe that I still had the best intentions of regular “sailing, sight seeing and relaxing” in mind, even though treasure – not their vacation pleasure – was now my motivation.

You can see from the below picture that I even had my pirate snarl down pat for whenever the time came to use it.

But en route along my course to this treasure island was a particular attraction we had in mind to visit. So I had to appease their vacation spirits one more time before Long Body Crusoe would have his time to shine.

And I am talking about none other than the famous Pig Beach.

On this particular beach in the Bahamas, there is a population of feral pigs which were put here during the first Iraq War as somewhat of an insurance policy in case there was ever an embargo where Bahamians might need a back-up food source.

Now a tourist attraction, these pigs are quick to greet you as soon as you set foot on their shores!

But let me tell you, they will be quite [vocally] disappointed if you don’t bring them some fresh vegetables to eat…

Luckily, they’re completely vegetarian and have never tasted “hot dog” before… (Phew!)

But when one of the curly tailed fellows did get a bit too close to me for comfort, I wasn’t afraid to tell him off;

“Hey pig, you better back up before I show you just what ‘badger dog’ means…”

I’m kidding of course – I would never compromise my boyish good looks by getting in a brawl with an animal that’s 5 times my size.

(But for the record, if push came to shove, I’d be makin’ bacon).

Yet whether big, small, spotted, or pale and pink, it would be hard for anyone to say these little piggies aren’t the cutest thing around (besides me of course)!

Despite my initial skepticism of them, they were lovable and friendly. I told them I’d do my best to come visit them again sometime in the future.

Later they all went to take a group nap in the shade of the beach. I was careful not to disturb my new friends for one last photo.

So that was our visit to the Bahamas’ Pig Beach! What a fun and unique experience, and if you ever get a chance to come here, I highly recommend you do so!

After that, it was back to the boat, where pirate Long Body Crusoe was already plotting his next move.

“Hoist anchor, full sails ahead!” I ordered.

“Give me all she’s got! And then someone go get me one of my pork treats… I got a strange craving for them.”

After a quick trip, we made landfall. Instead of allowing my crew to have lunch, I made no hesitation in having them row me ashore.

They asked why they all had to come with me as opposed to just having one person bring me over, but what I didn’t tell them was that I was secretly planning to maroon them there once I had the treasure safely in my paws.

“This looks like the place!” I called with a practiced snarl.

“Now would someone please set me down on the beach. I don’t want to get my paws wet…”

But once I was on that beach, I had a fleeting moment where excitement completely overwhelmed me and I just began digging anywhere and everywhere, totally forgetting the map which I had memorized in the back of my head.

I kept digging and digging, but nothing! Not a single gold coin…

I was moving a lot of sand, but wasn’t getting any closer to my treasure.

I must be doing something wrong, I said to myself.

So with a meditated effort, I resisted my urge to just dig indiscriminately and fought to think about the map I had memorized…

Aha – I got it!

The map had said… “the treasure thoust layeth 30 lengths of a wiener up from the shoreline, and 20 lengths of a wiener east of the rocky outcrop which signifies the westward side of the bay”.

So with that info I went to work, letting my nose do the pinpointing! And low and behold, this is what I found!

A treasure chest of brand new squeaky balls!!! Whoohoo!

I was quite proud of my find, and had to pose for a ‘trophy’ shot.

Being in such a good mood after finding my treasure, I decided not to maroon the rest of the family on the island while I made off with the prize fortune.

…Mainly because I was getting hungry and needed dinner that night.

And it was a good thing too because we had smoked salmon and cream cheese (but hold the onions)! Mmm…

Keep piggin’ diggin’,

~ Crusoe

Part 3 coming soon! If you liked the 2nd installment of my sailing trip, show it below! : )

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