When Ara Parvin’s husband, Farid, was in a road accident several years ago and began using a wheelchair, she steadfastly cared for him. Over the years, as he grew sicker, her support grew.

On Friday the Parvins were praying at the Al Noor mosque in Christchurch when alleged terrorist Brenton Tarrant aimed his gun at Farid. Ara supported her husband for a final time, throwing herself in front of the bullets. She is among the 50 people who died in the attacks. And Farid is waiting to bury her.

Daughter of Christchurch victim: ‘My dad is a real hero. He got shot in the back to shield my brothers’ Read more

The pair had settled in New Zealand after leaving Bangladesh in 1994. Outside Christchurch hospital on Sunday where 34 people injured in the attack are receiving treatment, Mahmood Kahn stood at the emergency room doors to support the Bangladeshi community. There is no consulate in New Zealand for Bangladesh.

“So I am here,” he told Guardian Australia. Farid was one of his close friends.

“His wife has died,” he said. “My friend had a road accident 20 years ago. And after that he is using a wheelchair. His wife is the one supporting him all the time for everything. He has lost that support. It is very, very sad.”

The honorary consul for Bangladesh in New Zealand, Shafiqur Rahman Anu, met Kahn at the hospital on Sunday and together they met families of the dead. While interpretation of Islamic law regarding burials varies, burying a person as soon as possible after death is a fundamental principle of Islam. Families usually want to bury their loved ones no more than 24 hours after a death. But families have not been given any indication from police as to when bodies will be released to them, and their unease is mounting. People like Kahn are there to comfort them.

“Burial is important, very very,” he said. “They are not coping well, the community, but they are working with authorities to get bodies released. In Islam, you know, you are supposed to bury the body as quick as possible without any delay. That is the normal custom. But now with these awful things it’s a bit different.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Mahmood Kahn waits outside Christchurch hospital for Shafiqur Rahman Anu, the honorary consul for Bangladesh in NZ. Photograph: Melissa Davey/The Guardian

“Also many killed have family living overseas, they want to come and see the body. So it’s not unusual that they might keep the body one or two days in some situations, even if actually they are not supposed to. But this happens too in their home countries as well, if there is a police case they will keep body for days for all sorts of police formalities. So we know, we understand, this happens. I am sure though, at same time they want the bodies as quick as they can.”

Almost 48 hours on from the attacks at Al Noor and Linwood mosques that left 50 dead, police have said they cannot yet give families any indication of when their loved ones might be released to them.

However, Jacinda Ardern said a “small number” of bodies would be returned to families by Sunday night.

Forensic officers and pathologists have been working around the clock to gather the evidence from the bodies they need to bring charges.

“What we have to do is determine the cause of death,” New Zealand police commissioner Mike Bush said. “But we are so aware of the cultural and religious needs. So we are doing that as quickly and sensitively as possible.”

Asked by a reporter if it was possible to estimate a time for the process, Bush responded: “No. But we are moving through that as professionally but as quickly as possible. Because we absolutely feel for the victims of this tragedy.”

The Federation of Islamic Associations of New Zealand plan to send a team of 20 from Auckland to Christchurch once the bodies are released, to assist in the preparation and the burial process.

At Christchurch hospital, the founder and chair of the Canterbury Refugee Resettlement and Resource Centre, Ahmed Tani, has not slept for days. His phone won’t stop ringing and family members of the dead and injured approach him outside of the hospital for support.



“I’m frightened and they are frightened,” he tells Guardian Australia. “They never thought something would happen like this and that’s why everyone is still afraid. Some of the community are frustrated. But the frustration they have is more that they don’t know where to go or what to do at first. Now that’s turning into gratefulness for the great support. The public, the New Zealand society, they have stood up to support [us]. And that has relieved a lot of their frustration.”

Christchurch attack: New Zealand in mourning over mosque massacre – latest updates Read more

Tani has barely had time to grieve the loss of many of his friends. He has been too busy supporting others.



“One of my friends, he had an appointment to come to my office I was working to help him find housing,” he says. “He passed away. I knew him well. And I feel so sad when I heard that news. He had been in NZ since 1985.”



Tani said he believed most of the Muslim community he had spoken to understood why police could not yet release the bodies.

“This situation is different,” he said.



“It is a criminal situation. We Muslims have to understand that, and they do. When a Muslim dies normally, yes, 24 hours [is ideal for burial]. But this is something different. The community, they have no choice, this is a criminal issue and the government has to check everything. It’s a process. And the government has communicated that process.”



But for some, patience and understanding was wearing thin. Afghan refugee Mia, 24, on Sunday stood in the rain outside Hagley College with two friends, all of them drenched through.

“Every time they come and tell us they will give us more information, then they come back and say another hour, another hour,” he said.

“We’ve been here since 8.30 and we’ve heard nothing really. More delays. It’s very frustrating. They are planning to release all the bodies together, so all the families can see them and then bury them. They have to do some clean-up first as some of bodies are badly damaged. The person that has died, the families need to pray for them, to pray their soul rests in peace.

“But the police have told us they are going to keep all the bodies together in the hospital and bring families in one by one to visit them – we can’t take them home.”

Another man, Amir, simply said: “They really need to speed up the process.”

Linwood mosque leader Lateef Alabi said people just wanted to say goodbye to their loved ones and pay their last respects.

“But the police have to complete their work and go through the normal procedure before they are released,” he said.

“We just request the bodies shouldn’t be too long in the mosque because the bodies are still lying over there and eventually it will be too difficult to wash the bodies and take to the burial and probably things will start deteriorating, that’s the worry.”

• Crisis support services can be reached 24 hours a day. In New Zealand, the crisis support service Lifeline can be reached on 0800 543 354. In Australia, Lifeline is 13 11 14. In the UK and Irish Republic, contact Samaritans on 116 123. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. Other international helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.