Apple Event

When an Apple invitation hits the inboxes, what happens? The Internet prognosticates. Here are just some ways Apple's invitation could be (over)analyzed. Some interpretations are realistic and others -- just a tad far-fetched. Enjoy a few minutes of satire to lighten your afternoon.

1. It's the iPhone 6, of course.

If you just rotate it this way, and flip it that way, the 9s become 6s! Perhaps this means there will be two iPhone 6s -- a small version and a large version.

2. Just do the math.

9+9 - 2 + 14 = 30, the amount of years between now and the Mac unveiling in '84 at the Flint Center. New Macintosh Retro TBA. Anyone who ever took arithmetics should have seen this coming.

3. Do you see the bird?

There's a beak, a head, and outstretched wings. So either Apple is flying away, or the new announced devices will be delivered by carrier pigeon.

4. "Say more." We know one personal assistant who could do that.

Whether it's a Siri-based iWatch or improvements to the software, Siri's going to have something to say on September 9.

5. It's the date, people.

Arminius' alliance of six Germanic tribes ambushes and annihilates three Roman legions of Publius Quinctilius Varus in the Battle of the Teutoburg Forest on September 9, year 9 AD. Now I think we all know what that means...

6. More, more what?

More screen? More colors? More devices in the lineup? Who cares, we'll take more of anything!

7. An abundance of gray.

The invitation in grayscale. This means something. In the past, Apple decorated its invites with a burst of colors to foreshadow the very colorful iPhone 5C line. Alas, there are no colors here. So expect nothing in the way of "bright," "cheerful," "colorful," or "happy."

8. "Wish" basically sounds like "watch."

We've been starving for substantiated iWatch rumors, but still no parts or prototypes to speak of. Well, here it is. A little phonetic play to confirm our "wishes."

9. A tent-like vector means more smart home stuff.

A tent is equivalent to shelter. Homes are shelters. Apple announced HomeKit during WWDC, so maybe we can expect to hear more ("more"!) about that on the 9th.

10. It means nothing.

In an effort to avoid long boardroom meetings wherein executive staff would strategize ways to hide clues in an invitation, Apple hid nothing. It simply means there is an event on September 9, and because Apple wants you to watch, it will say no more.

Think you know what Apple's invite really means? Reveal your thoughts in the comments.