Oh shit. Emberlynn felt her heart sink as her father approached, his face etched with worry.

She’d been counting on being able to sneak up to her bedroom unnoticed and simply cry all this out. She’d forgotten that Phoenix didn’t work on Mondays — she hadn’t even expected him to be home.

Why did he have to be walking through the foyer NOW? And worse — why did he have to be walking toward her with that look on his face? Ugh.

“Hey, Papa.” Emberlynn hastily wiped her tears with the back of her hand, knowing it was pointless. Phoenix had obviously seen them already.

“Hey…” He replied softly, trying to smile at her. “Rough day?”

She nodded. “Yeah… But I’m okay.” Emberlynn lied as her stomach gave an unpleasant lurch. “I just wanna be alone right now, if that’s okay? But I promise I’m fine. So like, you don’t have to worry or anything… Okay?” She muttered very awkwardly.

To her relief, her father chose not to push things. “Sure… But if you change your mind, you know where to find me, right?”

“Okay. Thanks, Papa.” Emberlynn turned on her heel and practically sprinted up the stairs without another word, grateful for the chance to escape.

Once she was safely tucked away in the solitude of her bedroom, she once again let the heavy weight of her exchange with the Ziegler twins come crashing down upon her. The guilt was almost suffocating. How could she have been so cruel? In that moment, what she wanted more than anything was to just be able to talk to somebody about it all… But who?

She could try writing in her journal, of course. That always seemed to help her feel a little better. But it just wasn’t the same as talking to a real, live person about how she was feeling. Emberlynn would have plenty of time to write about this whole mess later. For now, she needed something more.

Zelda, Tristan, and Jace would all have to be caught up to speed on what happened, of course. By just picking up the phone (or, in her brother’s case, walking across the hall) she could easily talk to any of them now, even Jace. For a moment, that realization helped to temporarily soothe a bit of her guilt and anxiety. It was a relief to know that she could be friends with whoever she wanted to again.

But somehow, the thought of talking to her friends right now didn’t make her feel much better. Something in her gut told her that none of them would understand how she was feeling. They’d all been so invested in this plan for revenge — even eager, almost. They’d been just as caught-up in the whole thing as she had been. But they hadn’t been the ones who had to go through with it, who had to say all those terrible things that she didn’t even believe. How could any of them see how sick and wrong it made her feel?

Her thoughts then shifted to Mason and GeekWithAGuitar. Both of them knew only the vaguest version of what had been going on. It would be so easy to vent to either one of them, and they were always such great listeners… But thanks to stupid timezones, they were both still at school right now, and Mason had football practice that afternoon anyway. It would be hours before she could get ahold of either of them. And she probably would, once she had the chance.

But in the meantime…

Emberlynn rose slowly to her feet, resigned to her fate. There was only one choice left. And much as she hated to admit it, it was the one that made the most sense, wasn’t it?

As she’d expected, Emberlynn found her father out back in her Opa Dev’s meditation garden, reading. It was either going to be this, or sitting downstairs playing video games. But with the streak of warm weather they’d been having now that Spring was returning, Emberlynn had a feeling he’d choose to enjoy the fresh air. And there was no quieter or more relaxing spot than the garden.

Phoenix did not look even remotely surprised as his daughter approached him. “Hey, honey.” He said with a small smile, as though he’d been expecting her.

Emberlynn eyed him skeptically for a moment. “You totally knew I was gonna change my mind and come talk to you, didn’t you?”

Her father chuckled heartily at her words. “I… had a feeling it was a possibility.” Phoenix confessed. “Or at least, I hoped it’d be. You know you can always talk to me.”

Most of the time… But not always, Emberlynn wanted to say. But she didn’t. Because this time, she knew he was the only one she COULD talk to.

“So… What’s up?” Her father continued when she remained silent.

Okay, here goes, I guess. Emberlynn took a deep breath as she lowered herself into a seat beside her father. “I just… I had a really bad day at school today. And it was my own fault, but it still just SUCKS. I feel awful.”

“What happened?” Phoenix asked, his voice calm.

“I did something really bad, Papa.” She explained. “I mean, I didn’t like murder anybody or anything!” She added quickly. “But I… Okay, wait. Let me back up.”

“It’s alright, take your time.” He assured her gently.

Shit… I’ve gotta tell him don’t I? So he understands… “Okay, so there are these two total jerks at school, Trent and Serenity… And I used to think they were my friends.” She explained. “I sat with them at lunch and hung out with them and stuff. And they were pretty nice to me, at first… But then I did something that really pissed them off. That’s when everything started going like, WAY downhill.”

Her father eyed her thoughtfully. “What did you do that made them so upset?”

“I, um… I… kinda-dated this guy who used to date Serenity.” Emberlynn explained. She wasn’t being entirely truthful, of course, but ‘kinda-dated’ was a hell of a lot easier to say to her father than ‘casually hooked up with multiple times’.

“Oh…” For moment, Phoenix almost looked uncomfortable. Emberlynn wondered whether he’d somehow managed to read between the lines. “And why do you think that upset her so much?”

Emberlynn rolled her eyes. She’d been afraid of this. “Papa, you’re doing it again!”

“Doing what?”

“You’re getting all therapist-y on me! Asking all those touchy-feely questions and stuff. It’s annoying!”

Her father seemed unfazed as he gave her a small shrug. “Is there really that big a difference between ‘therapist-y’ and ‘concerned parent-y’?” His voice was almost teasing. “I’m just trying to help, that’s all.”

She sighed softly. “I know. And yeah, I know why it made her so mad, and I know I probably shouldn’t have done it… But then she decided she wanted to make my life a living hell. She decided to get revenge on me.” Emberlynn found a bit of anger suddenly creeping into her voice as she spoke.

Phoenix’s brow furrowed slightly in concern. “What kind of revenge?”

Emberlynn hesitated this time. “Her and Trent, they, um… They got a really embarrassing picture of me.” Not technically lying, right? “REALLY embarrassing. And they threatened to show it to everybody in the whole school if I didn’t do what they wanted. They were like… blackmailing me, basically. It was awful.” For a moment, she felt her tears threatening to return, though this time it was for a different reason.

“Wait a minute… Is THAT why you’ve been so down the past few weeks?” Her father asked slowly. “That’s been what’s going on?”

She nodded slowly. “I know I said I was just stressed with school and stuff, but that really wasn’t it.” She confessed. And to her surprise, it felt strangely freeing to do so. “It was because of them.”

Her father’s face fell instantly. “Oh honey, why didn’t you tell us about this sooner? Your mother and I… You know we’ve always got your back, right? We could’ve helped you.”

“I know, Papa. I was just… I didn’t want you guys getting involved, okay? I wanted to handle it myself.” Again, not an outright lie, but not exactly the whole truth either.

“I see…” Phoenix paused for a moment, his eyes lighting up slightly in understanding. “And… this ‘bad thing’ you did… Was that the way you decided to ‘handle’ it?”

Emberlynn nodded once more. Sometimes it was almost like her father could read her mind. But then, that was practically part of his job, wasn’t it? “Yeah, I… I found out something about them. A secret they were trying to keep from people. And I thought if I just got them back for what they did, it’d make everything better. I thought I could fix things.” This time, she failed to stop a few tears from slipping out.

“And did it work? Did it fix things?” Phoenix asked softly, though Emberlynn had a feeling he already knew the answer.

“I dunno. Kind of?” Emberlynn sniffled slightly as she replied. “I think they’re gonna leave me alone now, which is what I wanted, but… I was so MEAN. Meaner than I’ve ever been in my life.” She let out a tiny sob as she spoke. “I thought this whole thing was gonna make me feel better, but I don’t. I feel SO much worse.”

Her father looked almost worried. “When you say ‘mean’…?”

“You’re gonna be so mad…” There was a tiny voice in the back of Emberlynn’s mind screaming for her to not say any more, but another voice won out. “I found out they go to therapy… In the same office where you work.” She explained softly. “But they were keeping it a secret from everybody. And I made fun of them for it. I got so caught up in how mad I was, I didn’t even know what I was saying anymore. It was like nothing else mattered anymore — just hurting them. And it was awful.”

Her father’s brow, already furrowed in concern, seemed to sink even lower. “How bad?” He asked, as though fearing what her answer would be.

She took a deep breath. “Well, I threatened to tell everybody at school. And then I told them nobody would ever wanna be with them because they’re ‘crazy’. And… I don’t remember everything I said.” Emberlynn confessed with a small shrug. “I just know I said all these horrible things and I…” Once more, her voice was broken by a small sob and she was unable to finish her sentence.

Phoenix closed his eyes for a moment before replying. It almost looked as though he were in pain. “Emberlynn, that’s…”

“I know.” This was exactly what she’d feared. She knew how strongly her father felt about mental health and acceptance. The thought simply made her feel more ashamed.

“I can’t believe you’d do something like this… That type of ridicule is probably the reason they were keeping it a secret in the first place!” This time, her father’s brow furrowed in anger as he continued. “It’s things like this that that make people think there’s some kind of awful stigma against them… You know that!”

“You’re right, I DO know! I know I messed up, okay?” She cried. “But I didn’t actually MEAN any of it! Why do you think I feel so bad?”

Her father took a deep breath, his anger finally starting to fade. “I’m just so disappointed in you. I know they were being awful, honey. But you could have come to your mother and I about it. We could’ve helped you. You didn’t have to resort to this type of behavior… It’s terrible. And it’s not like you, Emberlynn.” He said seriously.

She shook her head. “But that’s the problem. I think maybe it IS like me.”

“What? What are you talking about?”

“I… I don’t even know anymore. I used to think I knew who I was. Like, as a person.” Emberlynn struggled to articulate her thoughts aloud. “Like when you make a D&D character, right? Your alignment and stuff?”

Phoenix nodded, and even smiled slightly, despite the gravity of the situation. “Oh, I know exactly what you mean.” He assured her. “Onkel Tam would be proud…”

For a fleeting moment, Emberlynn returned her father’s smile before continuing. “And then ever since last summer, everything’s just been… different or something? I dunno. I just got sucked into hanging out with Serenity and her clique and… and wanting guys to notice me…” Her cheeks grew warm for a moment. “And I think it changed me or something. I wanted to be like Serenity, I wanted Trent to like me… So I started acting different. Mostly little things, nothing huge, but… I was acting the way I thought they wanted me to. So they’d like me.” It was so humiliating to admit, but Emberlynn could not stop the words before they were already flowing freely from her lips.

“Believe me, I get that.” Phoenix replied with a warm smile. “More than I think you’ll ever know. I struggled a lot with that too, when I was around your age…”

Emberlynn shook her head. “But were you ever a bully to anyone, Papa? Did you ever make anybody cry?” The image of Serenity’s sobbing suddenly filled her mind again, sending an unpleasant twisting through her stomach. “What if I had like, an alignment shift or something? What if I finally let myself change so much that there’s no going back?” Emberlynn voice began to rise slightly with panic. “I used to think I was Chaotic Good, but maybe I’ve really been Lawful Evil the whole time.”

To her surprise, Phoenix laughed heartily in reply.

“It’s not FUNNY, Papa!” She snapped angrily at him.

“I know, I know… I’m sorry.” To her relief, his laughter quickly died away. “Look, I’m gonna let you in on a little secret about identity and ‘alignment’, alright?”

Emberlynn nodded.

“First off, everybody makes mistakes. Everyone. And if doing just a few bad things in our lives were enough to change a person’s entire alignment, well, the world would be full of nothing but Chaotic Evil maniacs.”

“Hmm, okay. Fair point.” She admitted.

“And secondly, who you are isn’t JUST about what you do, or what mistakes you make.” Phoenix continued seriously. “It’s really about how you FEEL. How do you feel when you make a stupid mistake, or do something bad? And what kind of choices do you make based on those feelings? Do you change your behavior? Try to do better?” He asked. “That’s what really shows who you are. That’s all that matters.”

Emberlynn was silent for a few moments as she considered her father’s words. “So… Since I feel so bad… That means I’m NOT a terrible person?”

Once more, her father laughed. “Well, that’s PART of it… The other question is, what are you gonna do about it?”

She shrugged, staring down at the floor for a moment. Emberlynn could already guess the type of answer her father was expecting. And she KNEW it was the right thing to do, but… “I dunno… Maybe like… Tell them I’m sorry or something?”

“Impressive — full on Lawful Good, I’d say.” Her father smiled playfully at her as he spoke.

“But they never apologized to ME for what THEY did!” Emberlynn suddenly felt a small flare-up of anger in her chest.

“And that’s not right.” Phoenix replied, nodding. “None of this makes what they did to you okay, Emberlynn. But you can’t control what they do… Just yourself.”

Emberlynn still wasn’t entirely sure whether she was brave enough to give the Ziegler twins any sort of apology. Or whether they even really deserved one, after what they’d done. But… I was so mean. Ugh. “I’ll think about it.” She replied at last. “Okay?”

Phoenix smiled. “That’s my girl. I know you’ll do the right thing.“ He paused for a moment as his smile faded slightly. “But listen, Emberlynn. I really, really wish you’d come to me sooner about how those other kids were treating you. And the next time something like this happens — if you’re in trouble or you need help or somebody’s bothering you, anything at all… Please tell your mother and I, okay? We’ll help, no questions asked. And that includes if those two kids at school decide to bother you again, alright? We’ll take care of it.”

“Okay… I will.” Emerlynn promised. And maybe she even meant it too. “Thanks, Papa. That really helped.” Talking to him had already made her feel so much better, so much lighter. It was moments like these when she understood why he was so good at his job.

“Good. Just promise there won’t be any more surprise alignment shifts?” He teased. “Even temporary ones.”

“I promise.” She replied with a smile. “As long as you promise that you’ll keep giving me all these Papa-therapy sessions free of charge?”

“Don’t worry.” Her father assured her with a small wink. “You’ll always get the family discount.”