NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) - The Fox News Channel announced today that it would mark Martin Luther King's "I Have a Dream" speech by airing an opposing view.

"For years, 'I Have a Dream' has been synonymous with the legacy of Martin Luther King," said the official Fox statement. "We can think of no better way to honor that legacy than by offering a strongly-worded rebuttal."

The Fox speech, entitled "I Have a Feverish Nightmare," will be delivered by network host Glenn Beck.

In an excerpt released to the press, Mr. Beck says, "I have a dream that one day every American will be armed to the teeth in his or her own personal bunker, with piles of gold bullion and enough ammo to last until Rapture."

Elsewhere, Israel said it was attempting to slow down Iran's nuclear scientists by signing them up for Facebook. More here.

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