We rank all seven solo albums by Future, the king of toxic masculinity, in order of least to most toxic, because it’s quarantine and there’s nothing else to do.

All hail Future, the king of toxic masculinity.

Future has made a name for himself for many reasons, but one of them is a trademark style that embraces the most toxic behavior imaginable. From infidelity and banging your ex-girlfriend’s friend to forgetting your OkCupid date’s name and then making her foot the bill at Applebee’s, if it’s disrespectful, Future has probably bragged about it.

But which Future album is the MOST toxic? I decided to crunch the numbers and rank every solo Future album based on toxicity. Why not? It’s quarantine.

If I included all his mixtapes, collab projects, and EPs, it would have taken decades to finish my research, and so for this article, we focused only on Future’s seven studio albums. So, without further delay, let’s dive in.

7. Honest (2013)

Recorded in the middle of a loving engagement with Ciara, Honest is shocking in that it has damn near zero toxicity. Yes, you read that right. I’m just as upset by this revelation as you are. The album, filled with romantic ballads of loyalty and appreciation, is honestly fucking disgusting. Did some chivalrous demon possess Future?! The closest he gets to his trademark disrespectful attitude is offhanded mentions of groupies in songs like “Benz Friends.” Honest is Future at his most devoted and trustworthy. Heartbreaking.

MOST TOXIC SONG: “Benz Friends”

TOXICITY LEVEL: Damn near zero. A tragedy.

6. PLUTO (2012)

Future’s debut album, named after his favorite Disney dog according to a fun piece of trivia I just made up, isn’t quite as toxic as you’d expect. While it’s more than a solid debut, Future was still reading the room and developing his signature Futurisms. But have no fear, there’s still more than enough toxic waste to give fish an extra eyeball. “Neva End” is an oh-so-rare toxic love song, and “Truth Gonna Hurt You” foreshadows how hilariously mean Future would become once he got in his bag.

MOST TOXIC SONG: “Truth Gonna Hurt You”

TOXICITY LEVEL: Me after two drinks.

5. FUTURE (2017)

BOOM. Okay, now we’re approaching actual toxicity. Future’s self-titled album has no shortage of Future being Future. “Rent Money” is an abrasive bop of an intro with the frankly gross hook: “I just fucked a rapper bitch, I should diss you / She suck my dick, she come home, I bet she kiss you.” Someone in the studio really should have intercepted that one. “Massage In My Room” is a sonic renaissance painting of a Caligula-level orgy in his hotel suite that makes you suicidal on behalf of the maid who had to clean up afterward.

MOST TOXIC TRACK: “Massage In My Room”

TOXICITY LEVEL: Texting your ex-girlfriend from 2015 to see how she’s “holding up during the pandemic.”

4. EVOL (2016)

With villainous cover art and a disgruntled double entendre of a not-so-subtle title, EVOL features a warning that Future is indeed back on his bullshit. (NOTE: He didn’t leave his bullshit.) “Photo Copied” is a triumphantly douchebaggy humble-brag about his ocean of groupies with interchangeable personalities. “Xanny Family” is a drug-induced haze where he welcomes new women into his rotating roster. And, of course, there’s “Low Life,” the national anthem for terrible boyfriends. An eerie vibe permeates the entire album; it feels like a giant middle finger to every woman who ever hurt Future, from his ex-fiance to the chick in geometry who rejected his homecoming invitation in 11th grade.

MOST TOXIC TRACK: “Low Life”

TOXICITY LEVEL: Telling your girl she’s not allowed to own a mirror because you’re the only person she’s seeing.

3. HNDRXX (2017)

HNDRXX is an interesting anomaly in Future’s sonic repertoire in that it has Future at his most cartoonishly toxic, yet also at his most romantic and vulnerable. He celebrates a new appreciation for monogamy on “Incredible,” tearfully apologizes for his mistakes on “Sorry,” and finds soft comfort amid mental chaos on the Rihanna-assisted ballad “Selfish.” Unfortunately (or fortunately), these gorgeous moments are canceled out by tracks like “Keep Quiet,” where Future brags about being the side-dick to a committed woman. Then there’s the possessive, body-count document that is “My Collection,” which is arguably THE most toxic song Future has ever had the courageous audacity to put on wax. Openly playing “My Collection” can get you automatically canceled in 26 states.

MOST TOXIC TRACK: “My Collection”

TOXICITY LEVEL: Inviting all your Tinder matches to the same bar just to see what the fuck happens.

2. Future Hndrxx Presents: The WIZRD (2019)

The WIZRD has Future balancing casual rage and excessive luxury with the grace of a ballet dancer... with blood-soaked toes to document years of perfecting their craft. On the album opener, “Never Stop,” he sings, “Love is just a word, it don’t matter to me.” The anger on The WIZRD is substantial, yet smooth, and controlled. “Promise U That” and “Stick To The Models” are braggadocious club anthems that Future created explicitly for his ex-fiance Ciara to hear and get irritated. It’s beautifully petty like nothing else. Honestly, I wouldn’t put it above Future to go outside Ciara and Russell Wilson’s Seattle estate and blast this album like an evil version of that scene in Say Anything.

MOST TOXIC TRACK: “Stick To The Models”

TOXICITY LEVEL: Having sex with someone, then immediately taking out a list and crossing off their name.

1. DS2 (2015)

Future’s magnum opus and one of the quintessential rap albums of the 2010s, DS2 is a 61-minute ode to debauchery. And boy, is it glorious. His Futuristic shenanigans place him somewhere between the Buddha for unhealthy break-ups and the Andrew Dice Clay of hip-hop. Even one glance at the tracklist indicates this album is more toxic than the ooze the Ninja Turtles are always trying to avoid. “Groupies,” “The Percocet & Stripper Joint,” and “Freak Hoe” look like track names created for a Future parody album to mock his misogyny. DS2 is the toxic masculinity Bible. A sacred text that shall be observed and worshipped for generations of fuckboys to come. Please show respect.

MOST TOXIC SONG: “Groupies”

TOXICITY LEVEL: There’s nothing to compare DS2 to because there’s nothing on this planet—or any other planet—more toxic than this album. If you fell into a pile of DS2 vinyl, you would either suffer some sort of horrific physical mutation or immediately melt into a purple puddle of codeine.