(I am the lead in the lingerie department. After watching me for 15 minutes, a middle-aged man approaches me as I’m folding underwear. Note that this customer has bothered other female workers and is clearly a panty fetishist.)

Customer: “So, I’m buying some panties for my teenage daughter. Are these something that she would like?” *hands me a satin thong*

Me: “It depends on your daughter, but the pattern on them is nice.”

Customer: “But, will she like them? You’re about the same age. Do you wear panties like these? You said that they were nice. Do you own a pair of these panties?”

(I’ve worked in lingerie for awhile now and know what this customer is up to.)

Me: “Oh no, sir. Thongs are very bad for vaginal health. They help bacteria move from the anus to the vulva area and can cause urinary tract infections. Plus, cotton underwear really are the best, as satin doesn’t breathe properly and can lead to yeast infections.”

Customer: *stunned silence, turning red*

Me: *leads him to the “granny panty” section* “Really, these would be the best for your daughter. They’re the only underwear that I’ll wear! It’s best for her vaginal health. This four-pack is very economical. Is there anything else I can help you with?

Customer: *drops satin underwear and walks away very fast*

Me: “Have a great day!”

(My manager saw the exchange and gave me a high-five. The customer still bought underwear from us, but he never bothered another female worker again!)