Still believe the world doesn't have any heroes? Then turn off those goddamn 24-hour news channels and read about ...

The two most common reactions to a disaster are 1) running away while peeing your pants, and 2) taking out your phone and hitting "record" (while peeing your pants). After all, we have the military, paramedics, and so on to handle that stuff. But what happens when they're unavailable or simply don't give a shit? That, as we love to point out , is when random whoevers go, "Welp, here goes nothing," and step in to save the day.

7 A Catholic Monk Volunteered To Die At Auschwitz In Someone Else's Place

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Maximilian Kolbe was a Polish Catholic monk of German heritage who died in Auschwitz anyway. It's Clerks' "I'm not even supposed to be here" taken to an incredibly macabre level. Except Kolbe wanted to be there, because fuck Nazis.

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He's Hitler's exact opposite, down to facial hair size.

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From his monastery in Poland, Kolbe published multiple religious journals, reminding readers that those goose-stepping assholes hassling Jews for existing really ought to go screw. The Nazis arrested him, but as soon as he was released, he went back to his anti-Nazi literature and started sheltering hundreds of Jews on top of that. There's poking the bear, and then there's continually slamming a barbed-wire bat into its skull.

As a result, Kolbe was arrested again and shipped off to Auschwitz, where he was beaten mercilessly for preaching to prisoners (which he kept doing). Two months later, angry about an escapee, Auschwitz guards randomly selected 15 prisoners for death by starvation and dehydration. None of them took the news well, including Polish army member Franciszek Gajowniczek, who implored guards to spare him for the sake of his wife and children. That's when Kolbe stood up and offered to take the man's place. The stunned guards allowed it, because they don't cover these types of situations in Nazi school.

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"How dare you volunteer for the death bunker?! Off to the death bunker with you!"

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And then Kolbe ... didn't die. Despite three weeks without food or water and most of his bunkermates dropping dead around him, Kolbe lingered on, just to piss off his captors some more. Finally, the Nazis lost their patience and injected him with carbolic acid, because this guy was pulling a full Rasputin on their asses. In the end, Gajowniczek died in 1995 at the ripe old age of 94, and Kolbe was canonized in 1982 as St. Maximilian "Stone" Kolbe.