by SU DHARMAPALA

Tony Abbott could learn something from my funny little four-year old. You see, four year old children are disarmingly honest and forthright.

My son only really started speaking properly recently. It was like he held everything in for a long time and he is now letting it all out. So while I am terribly proud of this suddenly articulate little man who uses words like “terribly spectacular”, I am also desperately trying to teach him tact.

Case in point: last week at Woolworths we were at the checkout when a lady who was morbidly obese queued behind us.

Now, we had been reading a great deal about the body and good nutrition lately so it didn’t surprise me much when my son mumbled something about fat cells. Having a background in biochemistry, I had explained to him that excess sugar gets stored as fat. But I wanted the earth to open up and swallow me whole when he pointed to the fizzy drinks in her cart and said in a loud voice, “My mummy says fizzy drinks gives you fat cells and you are already have loads of fat cells. Why do you want to collect more?”

I was genuinely trapped. I could not back out and leave – I had unloaded half my cart already – so I took refuge in apologising profusely and admonishing my child for rudeness. I was mortified. At which point my son took umbrage and called me on it.

“But you tell me to always tell the truth! And I was telling the truth. This lady has loads of fat cells. Why does she want more?”

Thankfully the lady just wheeled her cart away. Wherever you are, I am so so sorry. I am so sorry for the hurt my son caused and I am so sorry you cannot do your shopping without a rude four-year old making your life hell. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.

Which brings me to the point made by Tony Abbott in his address to Institute of Public Affairs in Sydney on Monday. Particularly he wants 18C of the Racial Discrimination Act, the section which conservative columnist Andrew Bolt was prosecuted under last year repealed.

“Expression or advocacy should never be unlawful. And this is not a matter of agreeing or disagreeing with Bolt. It’s a matter of the right to free speech.”

Yeah, I disagree. It’s not an issue of freedom of speech but an issue of tact. It is an issue of hurt. It is an issue of being civil in a civilised society. And it is a sad state of affairs that the legislation needs to exist but it does because being civil is no longer a valued trait.