With his cape and his keyboards, Rick Wakeman is probably the most prog man to have ever noodled. Yet this self-proclaimed 'Sergio Agüero of the keyboard' says he gets why punk had to happen

Hi, Rick. How are you?

Breathing.

I hear you've been made King Rat (1).

Yes! I'm chuffed to old boots. Past members include Laurel and Hardy and Charlie Chaplin, and we have three royal members: Prince Philip, Prince Charles and Prince Michael of Kent. It's a highly respected order. Danny La Rue was a King Rat, so was Engelbert Humperdinck.

Are you the first prog rock King?

Yes. The Grumpy Old King (2), they call me.

Did you have a grumpy old Christmas, being one of TV's Grumpy Old Men?

Very. There's a fine line between angry and grumpy. Angry isn't nice, but grumpy is funny.

Have you always been grumpy?

Well, I did once refuse to walk up the church aisle with Mary because I didn't like her. I was a grumpy young Joseph. I was eight.

When did you last have a good moan?

Yesterday, because of the trains. Adam, my second-eldest son, plays keyboards with Black Sabbath and he came and stayed with me so I took him to the station and there were, as expected, delays. I didn't moan at the staff – it's not their fault. The people to blame are always invisible.

Do people try and get you to whinge on tap?

People moan at me! They come up to me on the train. They sit down and go: "I'll tell you something you can moan about." One bloke started complaining about his wife. He said he couldn't take it any more. She didn't do the washing or the cooking – it's hopeless, he said.

What was it like joining Yes?

They asked me to join the same day that David Bowie asked me to form the Spiders from Mars with Mick Ronson. It was really weird. I said to Yes that I'd come along to rehearsals, let's see how we all get on. Anyway, I drove Steve Howe to Hampstead on the way back to my house in Harrow, and as I dropped him off he said, "Could you pick us up in the morning?" And I said, "Yeah, will do." It rather appeared that I'd joined.

You then left Yes because you thought Tales from Topographic Oceans was "too pretentious", only to record a concept album based on Jules Verne's Journey to the Centre of the Earth…

I stand by what I said. I didn't enjoy Topographic Oceans at all. It was a double album and the truth is it was padded out and I didn't like that. But I was a fan of Yes – still am – and as such I'm entitled to say what I think. They were gearing up for some stadium shows and I couldn't, hand on heart, do them. But I rejoined for [1977's] Going for the One – that was the album Yes should have made instead of Topographic Oceans.

In a 1974 edition of the NME you were critical of rock's dinosaurs such as Jethro Tull and the Stones, saying there was "too much excess" and bands had gone "too far". You predicted punk: discuss.

People always said that I hated punk and that really wasn't true. It was glossed over for many years that I was the guy who found the Tubes (3)

and signed them to A&M. English punk was a revolution. We'd had this thing [prog], where bands were fitting in four million notes so let's try for five. So things had to change.

Did you go to any of the punk gigs?

I went to see the Clash and the Jam. I've got kids – my eldest is 43, the youngest is 28 – and over the years I've been "subjected to", but actually really enjoyed, all types of music.

With your cape, your keyboards and your hair, were you the most prog man on the planet?

I don't know. I've always stuck by it because I felt it was worthwhile. There's hardly a genre of music in existence that doesn't take a bit of prog. It's enabled musicians to write their own rules.

Is your agent really Roger de Courcey (4)

Yes, for my TV, radio and corporate work. He doesn't do the music. He's one of my dearest friends – I've known him for 40 years.

What does Nookie Bear make of Tales from Topographic Oceans?

I could look at Nookie 100 times – he still makes me crack up. It's a shame there's no such programme on TV any more. I've seen Roger and the bear with young crowds at corporate events and they absolutely freak out.

What was it like working with Cilla Black? (5)

Lovely. I've done some funny sessions. I did an advert for a German toilet roll. And I did the follow-up to Clive Dunn's Grandad. It was called I Love You Grandma. It was awful. In a strange way, Grandad was a good record, very clever – written by Herbie Flowers (6). But this was dreadful. Clive was there. He said: "You're young." I said: "I suppose I am, yes." He said: "You'll be a good judge of whether this is a good pop record or not." And I looked at him but paused too long, and he went: "It's crap, innit?" And I said: "Yes."

Who was more of a prima donna: Bowie or Bolan?

Neither. David and I were neighbours when I lived in Switzerland – he was one of the most down-to-earth people I ever met. He knew what he wanted to do and nobody was going to move him off that path. And Marc was a smashing fella. I was very upset by the bad press he got when he died. I've got lovely memories of him.

You got married, for the fourth time, to Rachel Kaufman in 2011. You were 62, she was 37. Are you older than her dad?

No, her dad's 77 and when I proposed to her I dropped a letter to both parents saying: "If you're not happy about it let me know and we'll carry on as we are." And he rang me up and said: "Right, I got your letter. Two things: yes, by all means, go ahead and propose; and second, if she says no, tell her I'll kill her." It's amazing the number of people I know who are married with a big age gap, and they tend to be the happiest couples.

In 2010, you said you'd had more close calls than anyone you can think of. True?

Yes. I stopped smoking in 1979, and gave up drinking in 1985. But I've had a few close brushes. I had the heart problems (7), I had liver problems, alcoholic hepatitis, chronic pneumonia, double pleurisy … I've had the odd car crash, even a plane crash. I've just come to the conclusion that when my name crops up in the frame and St Peter at the Gates turns to God and says, "He's here again," they'll say, "We're not ready for him – send him back."

I didn't know about the plane crash …

That was in an eight-seater plane going into Derry airport – there was no undercarriage and it nose-dived into the runway. It all happened so quickly.

Who's the most surprising fan of yours?

I'm surprised by the number of young bands who are into prog. Prog started because we didn't want to be trapped by the three-minute verse-chorus format. Now you tune into any radio station and none of them are formatted. And that all stems from the prog days when we said: "No, we're not going to make three-minute singles."

Is Fidel Castro really a fan? (8)

Yeah! I've spent a few hours with him down in Cuba. Castro himself sent me a letter asking me to play a gig there. He's a fascinating man. And it was a real honour playing for him.

More of an honour than playing golf with Tarby? (9)

Ha. My golf has gone to pot lately. I only play half a dozen times a year. I love meeting people – all people – and I've learned an awful lot from them.

Of the three main prog keyboard maestros, it has been said that "Keith Emerson had the flashiest chops" and Tony Banks was the "most melodic soloist" while you were "the most versatile and had the best technical skill". Fair?

Well, maybe we should breed together and create somebody who can do the lot!

Who is the greatest?

That's like asking, "Who's the best footballer?" We're all completely different.

Is Keith Emerson the George Best of the piece, with Tony Banks the Bobby Moore? And if so, what would that make you?

That's a real good question. I'd go for [Sergio] Agüero or [David] Silva. Speed is the essence.

Were you the fastest gun in the west?

Crikey, I don't know. There was a period when Keith and I were [supposed to be] at loggerheads, which we thought was very funny. We used to phone each other up and go: "Have you read this?" We let it carry on, though, because it was great PR. I remember having lunch with him and we were laughing and chattering away, and this couple approached our table and went, "We're so glad to see you two have made up." And Keith, who's got a wicked sense of humour, turned to them and said, "Yeah, it was only a matter of time before one of us killed the other."

The Journey to the Centre of the Earth 40th anniversary tour starts in April.

Footnotes

(1) The Water Rats is an entertainment industry charity, and brotherhood.

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(2)Wakeman contributes to the BBC TV series Grumpy Old Men.

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(3)San Franciscan band renowned for single White Punks on Dope.

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(4)Popular 70s and 80s light entertainment ventriloquist, with furry sidekick Nookie Bear.

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(5)Before joining Yes, he played keyboards on around 2,000 sessions, including ones for Bowie, Bolan, and Cilla.

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(6)Noted session bassist who played on Lou Reed's Walk on the Wild Side.

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(7)A known caner, in his 20s he had three heart attacks.

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(8)The Cuban leader gave him some of the earth from around Che Guevara's body.

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(9)He's golfing buddies with the Liverpudlian comedian.

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