Shoplifting: A Short Guide

I’ve been in a mood all day after I saw the anon post from somanybadcustomers regarding shoplifting.

Here’s some points to consider next time you consider shoplifting:

At no time does shoplifting “stick it to the greedy corporation”

Here’s why: THEY JUST FIND ANOTHER WAY TO GET THE MONEY THEY WOULD HAVE FOR THEIR PRODUCTS, DUMB FUCK. Lost items could be tax-deductible, and they take money out of pay and benefits for the low-level grunts that do the work that makes your valueless life possible.





Here’s why: THEY JUST FIND ANOTHER WAY TO GET THE MONEY THEY WOULD HAVE FOR THEIR PRODUCTS, DUMB FUCK. Lost items could be tax-deductible, and they take money out of pay and benefits for the low-level grunts that do the work that makes your valueless life possible. The rich CEO won’t lose any money , and won’t be taking a pay cut because your stupid lazy ass couldn’t get a job to afford your own damn stuff like the rest of us. The CEO’s pay is based off profit and share value (among other things) and using a large corporation as an example - the items you steal won’t make enough of a dent to change their pay. Whoever thought this up was likely suffering from a severe brain injury. Like a lobotomy.





, and won’t be taking a pay cut because your stupid lazy ass couldn’t get a job to afford your own damn stuff like the rest of us. The CEO’s pay is based off profit and share value (among other things) and using a large corporation as an example - the items you steal won’t make enough of a dent to change their pay. Whoever thought this up was likely suffering from a severe brain injury. Like a lobotomy. People suffer because of shoplifting. Think nobody is hurt by shoplifting?Wrong, dumbass! Where do you think the business will take the money they lost from? Shareholders? Nope. The CEO? No, you brain dead moron. Raise prices? Nope! Retail is incredibly competitive. A few cents extra on tube socks could cost them a sale to a competitor. Cheat on their taxes? That could work, but could also cost more in the long run. The only thing left to do is take it out of the employee pay & benefit & bonus box. So when you steal, you nasty shitbiscuit, you potentially cost somebody a raise, their bonus, or their job depending on how many of you asshats decide stealing stuff is acceptable. So every time one of you butt puppets screams out “Hurrrr to the Durrrrr RAISE MINIMUM WAGE BECAUSE GREEDY CORPORATIONS SHOULD PAY A LIVING WAGE DEEEERRRRRRRP” you’ve already stolen money from those people, and are part of the problem. Businesses exist to make money, not give it away to people who think they’re too good to pay for stuff because they’re lazy idiots.





Think nobody is hurt by shoplifting?Wrong, dumbass! Where do you think the business will take the money they lost from? Shareholders? Nope. The CEO? No, you brain dead moron. Raise prices? Nope! Retail is incredibly competitive. A few cents extra on tube socks could cost them a sale to a competitor. Cheat on their taxes? That could work, but could also cost more in the long run. The only thing left to do is take it out of the employee pay & benefit & bonus box. So when you steal, you nasty shitbiscuit, you potentially cost somebody a raise, their bonus, or their job depending on how many of you asshats decide stealing stuff is acceptable. So every time one of you butt puppets screams out “Hurrrr to the Durrrrr RAISE MINIMUM WAGE BECAUSE GREEDY CORPORATIONS SHOULD PAY A LIVING WAGE DEEEERRRRRRRP” you’ve already stolen money from those people, and are part of the problem. Businesses exist to make money, not give it away to people who think they’re too good to pay for stuff because they’re lazy idiots. Most shoplifters aren’t stealing food for their families. Don’t believe me? Check out the shoplifter tag on Tumblr. You’ll see makeup, electronics, clothes, and enough stupid shit that isn’t necessary for anything than you may have expected.





Don’t believe me? Check out the shoplifter tag on Tumblr. You’ll see makeup, electronics, clothes, and enough stupid shit that isn’t necessary for anything than you may have expected. You aren’t taking a stand against capitalism or anything else by shoplifting. You’re just a petty thief. You aren’t noble, you aren’t making a statement, you aren’t making a positive difference, and you sure as fuck aren’t doing anybody any favors. Quit pretending you’re anything other than a thieving piece of shit. Because at your core, you’re just a useless, selfish, delusional, insipid, thieving prick.

I hate most retailers. I hated working for them and I hate shopping at them. There are a few I want to see fail horribly because of the way they treat customers and workers both.

But I don’t delude myself into thinking stealing is the way to accomplish anything of meaning.

For crying out loud people, this isn’t quantum physics.