Charles Dodgson is known to have been a shy man, but the author of Alice in Wonderland so hated the fame his fiction brought him that he sometimes wished he "had never written any books at all", a letter being auctioned next month shows.

The handwritten letter, which is not believed to have been published before, was sent by Dodgson to his friend Mrs Symonds in 1891. By this time, he had been known as the creator of the Alice books – which he wrote under his pseudonym Lewis Carroll – for almost 30 years; even Queen Victoria was said to be a fan. But Dodgson hated the celebrity his writing had brought him.

"All that sort of publicity leads to strangers hearing of my real name in connection with the books, and to my being pointed out to, and stared at by, strangers, and treated as a 'lion'. And I hate all that so intensely that sometimes I almost wish I had never written any books at all," Dodgson told his friend.

The author loathed giving out his autograph; the year before he wrote to Mrs Symonds, he had The Stranger Circular printed, a letter he would send to fans seeking his autograph in which he refused to have anything to do with works he had published as Lewis Carroll. "Mr Dodgson … neither claims nor acknowledges any connection with any pseudonym, or with any book that is not published under his own name," it ran. "Having therefore no claim to retain, or even to read the enclosed [letter], he returns it for the convenience of the writer who has thus misaddressed it."

In his 9 November 1891 letter to Mrs Symonds, Dodgson does admit there are plenty of people "who like being looked at as a notoriety", and many who do not understand his aversion to being stared at. But "we are not all made on the same pattern: & our likes & dislikes are very different," he writes.

The letter is due to be auctioned at Bonhams next month, and is expected to fetch up to £4,000. The auction house said there was "no indication" that the missive had previously been published; it does not appear in Dodgson's collected letters.