OTTAWA – A poll of Conservative Party members has indicated that a strong majority want a commoner relatable to all Canadians who can easily dish out $300,000 deposit for a leadership entry bid.

“I want our next leader to be able to sit down and have a cognac with everyday folk at their second cottage or private club,” said one former Tory MP. “They should have a firm handshake, look people in the eye, and be able to easily afford an additional house in Hamilton or Prince Edward Island.”

Some top priorities for the next Leader of the Official Opposition include tax cuts, more tax cuts, and improving Porsche-care.

Many of those polled also want to see the Conservatives move towards more progressive policies, which is why a woman who voted to re-open the debate on abortion and did little to address climate change as a cabinet minister is ahead in the polls as preferred leader.

The Conservative Party’s entry fee differs dramatically from the Liberal Party’s leadership requirement to pay $75,000 in government subsidies to a Quebec corporation, and the NDP’s requirement to donate a single canned food item to a local charity.