There were four main themes with a number of sub-themes which developed out of the main themes (Fig. 1).

Theme 1: Experience of Social Support in Gaming

Rather than a focus on social support, there was a common theme of female gamers discussing avoiding negative experiences and harassment while playing online. A number of the gamers (n = 18) stated they had gotten to the point of preferring to play alone than dealing with negative experiences. For instance:

“Better to play alone than subjecting myself to potential toxicity” (post number 185)

The majority of female gamers stated that they had encountered incidences of negative interactions in different gaming environments in the past. There was a common theme of females having experienced numerous incidents of male harassment (n = 73), including sexual harassment (n = 24) and verbal aggression directed at them during gaming (n = 44), and for some the experience of being stalked by males online (n = 5) and offline (n = 2). Within these discussions, there was continued reference to the “toxic environment of gaming” and the negative impact this had on them individually and on their gaming experience:

“[Gaming is now] a pretty lonely experience” (post number 89)

“Comments are running my gaming experience” (post number 67)

Lack of Instrumental Support

Female gamers talked about having little experience of other gamers offering advice and helping them with gaming.

“It just turned me off playing with guys because I rarely found friends that were willing to give tips and constructive criticism” (post number 189)

This was not directly linked by females to feelings of inferiority, but as there was a common theme that males were perceived as being more skilled at gaming, there may be an implication that this type of support would be welcomed. Females frequently reported the experience of not having an active involvement in the games and the feeling of not being taken seriously as having a role to play. A number of females (n = 12) talked about wanting to have a role in guild activities and in strategy, but a number felt this was not encouraged by other male players, and at times their attempts were ignored or overlooked (n = 11):

“Of course [my comments] get down voted, as does every comment I add” (post number 163)

“Usually don’t respond to me when I say something or they straight up just talk over me” (post number 89)

“Trying to give the role that I’ve selected to someone else in the group” (post number 172)

“Had a member who was assigned to my raid team, asked me my gender, once he found out I was a girl, he refused to listen to any advice, commands, or suggestions during raids and always fact checked me against other men in the group” (post number 227)

There were a number of discussions (n = 8) where women talked about their own fear of getting actively involved and their reluctance to get involved. Female gamers consistently talked about hiding their identity when playing and not getting actively involved due to feeling inferior in terms of gaming ability, and the potential for ridicule from others based on previous online gaming experience. The female gamers also talked about the fear of being seen to have been “carried” by other players, when they had done well and the implication they felt was that other male gamers did not believe they could do well on their own. A number of females (n = 5) also expressed concern that they would be perceived as being carried if they asked for assistance during game play, and this prevented them from seeking support from teammates.

“It felt like the whole time I played, I was trying to represent that girl gamers don’t need to be carried and if I lost, I failed my whole gender” (post number 178)

“Instead of trying to help me get better at the game they would offer to carry me instead” (post number 193)

Lack of Emotional Support

The discussions on the experience of female gaming highlighted a lack of emotional support from male players they were playing with. This was reported to occur frequently during game play with other male players. For instance:

“When you do well it’s at the most low-handed comments ...you are one of the better female players I know” (post number 178)

“[I was always] referred to as “what’s her name” or “the new girl”—they couldn’t even be bothered getting to know my name” (post number 89)

“The dudes would never include me in important decisions regarding say, creations of maps and main story points in our private website role-play, including things like...not bothering to ask me my opinion on what place in my country would make a good place for something realistically...they only thought to ask the other men who didn’t live there” (post number 211)

This was also reported by players to occur when they discussed their negative online experiences outside of gaming with male friends:

“I play with a group of guys and they can be very ignorant of how gender based jokes and shit like that can burn out their girl gamer friends” (post number 250)

“Frustrates me that men I bring this up with will totally deny there is a problem” (post number 193)

Lack of Perceived Social Support

There was almost a feeling of acceptance amongst the female players that they should play alone, with a common theme of women giving up gaming with others and of developing social support in online gaming. They frequently mentioned attempting to find an ally and someone to stand up to the inappropriate behaviour of others. The females also expressed disappointment that male players did not stand up for them when others acted in a negative way towards them, again indicating a lack of support within many of the gaming environments. There were a number of posts (n = 26) where females expressed their surprise that other women in gaming acted in a negative way towards other female gamers. Many of the females reported experiencing this and felt that for some women they behaved in this way as they wanted to be the only female in a male-dominated game. The discussion highlighted that for a large amount of female gamers this led to them choosing to play alone.

A common theme in the discussions was the view that some games and platforms were harder for female gamers to play on and that this might get easier for some female gamers as they got older. Often this was attributed to internal characteristics of the female gamers, however, as they felt that this was not an issue that they were as concerned about as they got older, although it had caused them anxiety and stress when they were younger. Many of the gamers suggested to others that the most effective strategy was to play by oneself. They talked about how they had adopted this strategy to allow long-term play and to avoid negative experience due to the feeling of lack of social support. For instance,

“I do miss playing competitive games with friends so one day I’ll start something new. I just hope I find kinder friends to play with!” (post number 178)

Many of the female gamers were accepting of this lack of support and negative behaviour, although a number (n = 11) argued that it was important to fight against this or the social environment for female gamers would not change.

“It’s like we can’t be proud of who we are. Worst of all, I feel like it adds to the fact that there aren’t female gamers online, it could be that we are hiding or pretending we’re not for the sake of keeping the fun for ourselves” (post number 191)

A number of females talked about the difficulty they experienced developing friendships online (n = 16), and some associated this lack of social support in online gaming to their lives offline (n = 12).

“I’m even having trouble making friends here which is really discouraging for me” (post number 11)

Some female gamers (n = 7) discussed the difficulty of making friends throughout their lives, and some outlined how they used gaming as a way to try to develop friendships and social skills when they were younger (n = 7). There was a small number of posts (n = 10) where people discussed this as being successful and how they made a small number of friends online who they went on to meet up with and develop friendships offline. Some of the female gamers talked about how they predominantly played games alone, although this was not the preferred way to play.

“I would love to make friends that play, but I find it to be a struggle, I don’t know what to do” (post number 10)

Theme 2: The Impact of Lack of Social Support in Gaming

Stress, Anxiety, and Insecurity

A number of female gamers (n = 14) talked about feeling self-conscious about their gaming and how this led to a self-belief that they were not as good as the male players. They discussed the feelings of stress and anxiety that they felt had developed from their experience of negative interactions whilst involved in online gaming (n = 24). They talked about how this had a detrimental effect for many on their enjoyment of gaming, and on their lives.

“I quit the game when I realized it was just stressing me out and now I play a lot of single player games to relax” (post number 178)

“Worried all the time are they making fun of my mistakes…maybe doing it in secret if not to my face…it all got too much” (post number 179)

“I’m too much of a coward to play X with my headset, been dying to play competitive but I’m too afraid” (post number 133)

A similar theme that emerged in the discussion was the anxiety that gamers felt when they joined a new group, or when someone new joined their group. The female gamers discussed the anxiety and, at times, fear they felt at these stages as they waited to speak and for people to realise they were female.

“They would talk over and railroad me and completely steer the storyline into whatever they wanted” (post number 212)

Female gamers mainly attributed the anxiety they experienced to others’ behaviour, but for some (n = 8), this was attributed to internal characteristics. Some of the gamers felt that they were responsible for some of the anxiety they were experiencing, and discussed social anxiety (n = 8), that they were uninteresting to others (n = 4), or overly sensitive (n = 3). For instance,

“I overthink a lot of what I say” (post number 12)

A number of females (n = 18) stated that they played alone to protect themselves from the anxiety they had developed previously in collaborative play, despite it not being as enjoyable. For instance:

“I play single games now to get away from the anxiety of competitive team games, but I do miss competitive games” (post number 180)

“I’m always blaming myself for allowing myself to be a target” (post number 131)

Some of the female gamers (n = 6) talked about how this anxiety which developed during gaming had extended into their offline lives and impacted their everyday life. Some of the gamers also talked about the impact of this on their ability to trust others, both within gaming and in their outside lives:

“[I have a] hard time trusting people I met in games and it rolled over into real life. I’m tired of getting hurt” (post number 127)

“But now I have a new insecurity that I don’t need” (post number 67)

Pressure on Female Gamers

Internal Pressure

A number of female gamers (n = 21) talked about how they felt the need to do well in gaming to prove themselves and the negative impact this had on them, and on their eventual enjoyment of the game. A number of females (n = 15) talked about times in their life when they had put significant pressure on themselves to excel in particular games and the impact this had on their lives overall, in addition to the enjoyment they got from gaming. For instance:

“I didn’t want to waste my emotional energy trying to find ways to defend myself or proving my gaming skills” (post number 175)

“Later noticed I wasn’t enjoying the game because I was making it more of a mission to prove to them that I wasn’t bad” (post number 176)

A significant theme was that female gamers felt that they were playing as a representation not of their own ability but were representing all female gamers. They discussed the internal pressure they felt they were under to do well, not just for their own sake but also to prove that female gamers as a whole were capable of playing these games.

“I felt like the whole time I played I was trying to represent that girl gamers don’t need to be carried and if I lost I failed my whole gender” (post number 178)

“Feel I am a bad representation of female gamers if I make a mistake” (post number 179)

There was a common theme where female gamers felt that gaming was harder for them than for males. Aside from the negative experiences online, females consistently referred to the internal pressure they felt to overcome the stereotype of the female gamer. For instance,

“If a guy sucks at a game he is bad at that game, if a girl does bad, it’s because she is a female” (post number 185)

This anxiety and pressure to do well were highlighted by a number of female gamers as being felt significantly when they were younger, and they felt that this became less of an issue for them as they got older.

“I thought I needed to prove to others (and to myself). As I got older, got more confidence and self esteem, a good support network, and more mature, I realized I didn’t need to justify my hobbies to anyone” (post number 183)

As many of the female gamers (n = 15) talked about moving away from competitive gaming due to these experiences, this could raise the question of how many women are still involved in competitive gaming as they got older.

Pressure from Others

Female gamers frequently talked (n = 23) about how they felt that other male gamers expected them to do badly and therefore felt pressure to prove themselves at all times. There was a common theme of other gamers acting as gatekeepers, expecting females to prove themselves worthy of playing. The female gamers felt that they were required to prove themselves and that their credibility as a gamer was frequently (n = 6) called into question during gaming. This was argued to be particularly common when female gamers joined a new team/guild. A common theme was the women talking about proving themselves so that they could use this an example later by illustrating incidences of times they had achieved during gaming. For instance:

“I can drop a line like ‘yeah, I got 1000/1000 [on a game],’ which shuts down any questioning my credibility as a gamer” (post number 185)

Female gamers talked about this need to prove themselves as “good enough” in both online (n = 8) and offline settings (n = 6). The female gamers discussed examples of times they talked to others about their gaming interests and there was disbelief amongst people that they were a “real gamer” and so they often felt the need to prove their interests and their ability. This often led to females hiding their female gaming identity both offline (n = 13) and online (n = 13). This constant pressure from others was argued to be a frustrating experience for female gamers. For instance:

“With video games, I also get worried that I won’t be good enough and people will judge me” (post number 12)

“I don’t feel like I’m ‘good enough’ at them to mention them…Like I feel that I’d have to doubly prove myself” (post number 8)

Hiding Their Identity

There was a significant theme of females disguising their gender through the use of neutral pseudonyms and avatars and in particular of not using their voice online. For the majority of the women, this was an ongoing strategy for them to manage negative behaviour they had encountered previously and anticipated occurring again.

“I’ve almost completely hidden my gender for the past 10 years in online gaming so I could enjoy my hobby” (post number 190)

“Been dying to play competitively but I know I shouldn’t without communicating. I’m too afraid because I’m a girl” (post number 133)

When asked if they were female by other male gamers, a large amount of females talked about how they would deny being female (n = 5) or would allow male gamers to believe they were a teenage boy (n = 16). The majority of female gamers (n = 75) were very accepting of the need to stay silent and to hide their identity and talked about their own acceptance of the need to do this, or recommended it as a strategy to deal with negative behaviour online.

“Games have the functionality to mute people and yourself for a reason” (post number 79)

“Just stop being women, problem solved” (post number 91)

“Every time I activate voice chat in a game, I have to fear a backlash” (post number 164)

A number (n = 6) talked about waiting until they trusted their team mates before speaking to them.

“I feel I have to prove myself before I can speak” (post number 67)

In settings outside of gaming, many female gamers (n = 13) also spoke about hiding their identity as a gamer. This was attributed to the fact that other people did not understand gaming, but also linked in to the stereotype of gaming they felt was very prevalent in today’s society. In this respect, females talked about the fear of being judged by others as being the same as the stereotype of a female gamer. They talked about being reluctant to admit that they enjoyed gaming to others, unless they were gamers themselves as there was a feeling that people did not understand gaming and what it involved.

“Mentioned gaming a few times but it was never a positive experience” (post number 133)

They talked about how it is still an unusual interest amongst females and particularly amongst the older generation, and this leads to a lack of understanding of gaming and the reasons that females may play. It was also suggested that in offline settings, the stereotype of female gamers is also very negative, and this can also make gamers reluctant to admit to gaming as a hobby.

“I am somewhat embarrassed, simply because of the stereotype associated with girl gaming” (post number 9)

Theme 3: Perception of the Cause of Lack of Support in Gaming for Females

The Stereotype of Female Gamers

A common theme in the discussions was the feeling that male gamers were responding to the stereotype of female gamers as not being unsuccessful in gaming. For instance,

“There is a ton of pressure on women to be good, much more than there is on men playing” (post number 185)

“I am terrible at FBS multiplayer games but I love to play them because I love playing with my friends so it’s super fun but I suck so bad. I feel horrible that they carry our team most time than not” (post number 8b)

In a similar way to offline settings, the female gamers were eager to avoid being judged as similar to the common stereotype of a female gamer when online. There was some discussion amongst the female gamers of females reinforcing the stereotype by hiding their identity when playing online. A number of female gamers argued that it was up to the female gamers to stand up for themselves in gaming and stop hiding their identities in order for women in gaming to be recognised and accepted in the gaming environment. Most female gamers attributed the lack of support for female gamers to male behaviour online, and there were some who attributed this to their own attributes. A number of females (n = 16) suggested that individual factors were the reason that they had difficulty building social supports online, and this was similar to their lives in general.

“Always been difficult for me to make friends both offline and online, let alone find fellow gamer females to build a squad with” (post number 12)

A number of different internal characteristics were suggested for this difficulty that females experienced in relationships and social networks online. A number of the female gamers (n = 17) talked about themselves as being shy, anxious, and awkward in online and offline settings.

“I have a very sarcastic, blunt sense of humor that can come off as being disinterested or rude” (post number 15)

“Overthink a lot of what I want to say…so I tend to stay quiet” (post number 12)

“I’m also just an extremely boring person. I mean, often times I don’t talk because I’m shy, but more often I don’t talk because I just don’t have anything interesting to say.” (post number 13)

They discussed the impact of others negative e online behaviour on them and linked this to their past experience of negative interactions with others.

“My self-esteem is already so low so I couldn’t handle talking and then the abuse that would happen” (post number 132)

Another common theme was people wondering if they were being oversensitive when they received such negative attention online, and questioning if they should accept this behaviour from others.

Group Behaviour

A number of the female gamers (n = 16) talked about the difficulty of building networks and support within online groups, rather than within the online environment itself. In this respect, they talked about how usually male players were supportive and accepting of female players on their own, in a one-to-one setting. The issues female gamers felt appeared within groups, and at times they felt that male players changed their behaviour when in groups. A number of gamers (n = 5) felt that there was less likelihood of this negative interactions occurring in smaller groups.

Another common theme was the impact of one new male joining a group, and how the groups’ behaviour could change when this gamer commenced acting negatively towards the female gamer. This again tied in with the anxiety that a number of female gamers argued that they felt when a new member joined a group because they waited to see how they would behave towards them. Females (n = 8) talked about a similar feeling of anxiety when this occurred, as to when they themselves joined a new group and were required to prove themselves as adequate.

“I feel like I constantly have to prove I’m “good” or else people will just dismiss me” (post number 185)

“Whenever I play with a new group of friends who obviously know Im a girl, I feel this tremendous pressure to do amazing” (post number 180b)

“I exclusively play with groups of gamers I’ve built up trust with and if they invite someone new in I’m generally mute” (post number 208)

Some of the females (n = 6) felt that all competitive environments were similar to online gaming environments, and the expressed the view that this was due to the socialising process of males in society:

“I think proving yourself in competitive environments is natural, even in gaming” (post number 184)

Many of the female gamers (n = 5) felt that males were not affected by the negative criticism that they aimed towards each other in gaming because this is the way that males are often encouraged to communicate with each other offline. This again led to some of the female gamers questioning whether the issue was with them. However, others (n = 4) felt that males treated females in a more negative fashion online than they did other males. There was some discussion of the fact that game structures are primarily designed for males, and along with the stereotype of the typical gamer means that boys will start gaming from a younger age and will play more frequently than females. Some of the female gamers argued that it sometimes takes girls longer to find the right game, to match their interests and skills. This can also be seen to be related to the common argument in discussions that the only way to get better at games is through experience and skill at gaming and is directly related to time spent playing. There was some discussion by female gamers (n = 9) that the negative attitudes and behaviour towards female gamers is allowed to continue because female gamers hide their identity while playing, and often go along with the stereotype in order to fit in and not stand out in a group.

“Sometimes it’s just too daunting to fight back” (post number 166)

“Ideally we shouldn’t let people push us out of this space” (post number 164)

“We go to video games as an escape and fun. Not to be belittled and put down” (post number 131)

A number of females (n = 8) talked about how they had reinforced the negative stereotype of female gamers, due to their lack of ability to play well.

“I was the worst at gaming out of all of them. I’m sorry I reinforced the stereotype” (post number 207)

Theme 4: Strategies Used to Develop Social Support in Gaming

The Silent Transient Female Gamer

The most common theme in the discussions (n = 29) was the belief that female gamers needed to stay quiet and hide their identity from other gamers, in order to be able to play online with others, which was suggested as the only option available to them, in order to protect themselves from the negative behaviour of others.

“Silence is my favourite policy” (post number 153)

“I hid my gender from my clan for 3 years” (post number 191)

There was a common theme within the discussions of female gamers making the conscious decision to not use their own voice during gaming (n = 29) or to change their voice (n = 12). These gamers talked about using a voice changer or talked about during gaming to hide their identity, of using particular techniques (and recommending strategies) to allow females to lower their voice tone and to distort or even change it.

“I’m not touching a mic ever without a voice changer” (post number 73)

“Get a voice changer, pick the most manly sounding setting as possible” (post number 142)

Some female gamers (n = 5) talked about their accents being used as a target for harassment, and ways to avoid such encounters.

“I don’t like to talk much because my voice is also deeper” (post number 75)

“Something seems to be different when you bring your own voice into the equation? I typically stay quiet and use text chat…because I rarely face any problems…but the moment I start talking that’s when the problems begin” (post number 71)

Female gamers (n = 18) discussed the experience of being mistaken for a young teenage boy, and for some, this was a favoured identity, rather than admitting they were female.

“When someone thinks that I’m a little boy, I just go along with it” (post number 75)

There was also a common theme of female gamers frequently hiding and moving from teams and guilds due to the behaviour of others, with the majority of women (n = 24) advocating for this when others asked for advice and reporting that they frequently moved groups and clans. There were a number of posts (n = 22) recommending others adopt particular mannerisms and strategies to try to manage the negative behaviour of others. This included turning the comments into a joke and making fun of yourself, insulting the people back, and using sarcasm as a response. There was a common thread of discussions (n = 10) around trying to deflect from the question and/or the shock that occurred for female gamers when other male gamers discovered they were female. Strategies used included denial, refusal to answer, and trying to make gamers focus on the game.

“I go very heavy sarcasm shock ‘GASP No, girls on the internet?!?! Everyone knows there’s no girls on the internet!’” (post number 143)

“I always just use the I’m just here to play the game like everyone else’s strategy” (post number 142)

However, there was a common thread (n = 12) of comments where females had tried many of these strategies but eventually had felt they had no option but to leave the group. A number of posts (n = 13) argued that females had a responsibility and a right to report any inappropriate behaviour to game administrators, although some acknowledged that there was not much point in doing this. Some of the gamers felt that the system for penalising people if they were reported was inadequate, and at times the female who was in receipt of the negative behaviour left a particular game due to this behaviour was then penalised.

There was a significant theme in some of the discussions (n = 11) where some females felt that there was a need for women to stand up to the negative behaviour of others, rather than hide their identity or leave groups.

“Try to stand your ground, and dish it back” (post number 247)

For some (n = 15), it was felt that as female gamers got older they became more comfortable both with their identity as a gamer, but also with standing up to others.

Building Networks and Social Support

A common recommendation in the posts analysed (n = 14) was for gamers to play with people they know and to use their social skills that they would use offline to make friends (e.g. be genuine, compliment people, etc.). Others argued that sometimes people need to accept that online gamers are not friends, and need to lower their standards regarding friendships. Female gamers argued for the need to find an ally in groups, although for some (n = 12) they found that at times one person with negative views and making negative comments to them did not receive any negative feedback from the others. A number of female gamers (n = 10) said that they liked to look for female gamers to play with, although sometimes other females’ behaviour was also negative and there was surprise expressed by some of the female gamers when this occurred.

“We get so much shit from guys so we’ve been looking for other girls to play with” (post number 128)

The gamers talked about expecting this behaviour from male gamers but not from other female gamers.

“This is why I refused to play with other girls on Xbox for a long time…I always expect better from women” (post number 115)

A number of gamers (n = 27) talked about using discussion forums for support and finding friends outside of gaming to bring into gaming. However, some gamers (n = 5) also talked about incidences of this becoming a negative experience. A number of posts (n = 8) again discussed the role of one person being negative and how this infiltrated the whole group. One person talked about playing with friends when a new member joined and was negative towards them, their online friends, and their team. They felt their friends behaviour allowed the negative behavour to continue, and expressed disaapointment that their friends did not stand up for them. For instance:

“Groups with good people who will defend you if someone decides to be an asshole” (post number 163)