Dr. Keith Ablow—the right-wing moralist masquerading as a psychiatrist—has declared that we’ll see rampant group marriages if LGBT couples continue to adopt children.

Somebody tell the Sister Wives the good news!

Ablow was talking to Fox Business host Lou Dobbs about President Barack Obama‘s marriage-equality announcement. Now what a shrink is doing talking about marriage on a business show we don’t know, but Keith laid out some very important facts:

“Children in same sex households, unless the donor of sperm or ova—eggs—is known… don’t know their biological parents. Now, we don’t know the psychological impact of that at all and we need the data, we really do.”

Aren’t there millions of adopted kids who don’t know their birth parents? We’re pretty sure they turned out fine.

“This is narcissistic,” Ablow said of LGBT people adopting. “‘I feel like it so I’m going to do it, no matter what the science might show.’ And we need the data.”

Keith, we have the data. There have been several major studies done that make it apparent a parent’s sexuality doesn’t impact how well his or her child turns out. (It’s also doesn’t affect the kid’s orientation.) Just because you’re terrible at your job doesn’t mean the studies haven’t been done.

“How did we decide that kids are just fine to grow up absent their biological parents? Because why? ‘Because we love each other.’ Well, three people can love each other, so polygamy has to be close behind. How can you have same-sex marriage and not believe that three people can fall in love, which they absolutely can?”

You’re right—we read that in the Bible!

It’s surprising Ablow is so down on gay parents. When he defended adulterer Newt Gingrich’s presidential aspirations—saying his three marriages would make him a better president—Ablow claimed a candidate’s sex life predicted nothing about his ability to lead.

But our sex life predicts our ability to change diapers and pick kids up from ballet?

Still, Keith does make one fair point—gays and lesbians are being narcissistic when they adopt children. All parents are narcissistic on some level: They want to see their gifts and/or genes passed on in posterity. And they think they have so much wonderful love to give they simply must bring a child into the world.

If it wasn’t for some degree of narcissism, the human race would’ve died off ages ago.

Source: Media Matters