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Sun News Network’s Brian Lilley and his giant forehead are obsessed with what it means to be a “real man.”

On Monday he played a YouTube clip by Bill Whittle who laments that alpha males are being replaced by beta males, that cowboy-like qualities like “fighting off Indians” were no longer treasured. After purring in agreement with that sentiment, Lilley had Harley Sims on the next night to continue talking about the lack of “real men” these days.

I’ve googled the shit out of Harley Sims and I cannot find his qualifications anywhere. Sun News credits him as a “linguistic specialist PhD” but he really just looks like a hockey player wearing an ill-fitting suit.

So what’s the problem? There aren’t enough alpha males around in the world and in pop culture: “Ones that march to their own drums, ones that don’t hesitate, ones that have the courage of their conviction.” Of course, we have a name for people who lack self-reflection and never stop to assess their actions: assholes.

Beta males, on the other hand, are those weaklings who are “constantly stopping, analyzing and wondering if what they’re doing is right.” We wouldn’t want any of those people.

The discussion then moves on to comic books because DC Comics recently announced one of its main characters will come out as gay. How homosexuality has anything to do with “real men” is unclear, but Lilley and Sims are going to get to the bottom of it — er, not the bottom, that’s gay! And gay people are inherently unmanly, unlike these two alpha males. Quick, let’s give ourselves ridiculous facial hair!

I would go on dissecting the exchange but it’s really too stupid to afford that many more words. Essentially, they both argue that comics are about fantasy and escapism and they simply cannot understand why in a world where you can imagine anything, you wouldn’t just imagine away all gay people.

How is this network still on the air!?