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You don’t want to learn their names.

You don’t want to hear from them — or perhaps even hear about them.

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And, above all else, you don’t want to see any sign of these gents. Like, ever.

Because if you do?

Things for your favourite team have gone awry — seriously awry. Specifically, in net.

“It’s a last-resort safety valve,” says Brad Treliving, general manager of the Calgary Flames. “If it all goes to hell in a handbasket, you’ve got somebody.”

Somebody, in this case, is an emergency goalie, that lonely chap who spends evenings sequestered in the Saddledome press box.

Unless the starter gets hurt, and he winds up on the bench.

Unless the starter and the backup get hurt, and he winds up in net.

“We’re probably not jumping up and down with joy if they’re going in,” says Treliving. “Listen, it’s never going to be perfect. It’s a last-case scenario. The criteria — you want to make sure they’re capable.”

In exchange for back-pats and parking passes — “No retirement plan, no 401(k),” cackles Treliving — the three just-in-cases share the duties.