Let me tell you a story about my privilege

Last Thursday night, I went to go see a John Mulaney show. I got to the theatre a little early, and stopped at the nearby 7/11 to get something to drink. I wanted something I could bring into the theatre, which has a no-outside-drink policy, so I knew I had to sneak it in my jacket pocket.

One by one I took the drinks that I wanted and put them in my pocket, to see if they would fit. I put in a Snapple, and an Arizona, and a Nantucket Nectar. After my third attempt, I heard a voice behind me say, “Excuse me, can I help you?” It was the store clerk.

“Oh, sorry. No, I was just seeing if they would fit.”

“Ah, okay. Let me know if you need anything.”

I bought a Snapple and left.

When I was putting those drinks in my pocket, it didn’t occur to me that this was suspicious behavior. I knew that I had no ill intent, and I did not think about how it looked to an outsider.

This is my privilege in full force. If I was a person of color stuffing a drink into his jacket, I guarantee you that I would not have been politely questioned by a clerk and left alone after one sentence. The precedent is set for that. I would have been further questioned. I likely would have been arrested. I may have been killed.

But I am not a person of color, and those things did not happen to me. I did a really dumb thing, not malicious but simply ignorant. I barely even had to explain myself.

I am saddened and outraged by what happened in Ferguson and the lack of an indictment. But I am not afraid for my life. Local and national authority keeps telling people of color that they can and will be killed, and their killers will not be punished. But I still am not afraid for my life. I dislike the police because of their constant unchecked abuse of power. But I do not personally fear them.

White privilege is often something that goes unseen, and thus is not thought about by those who possess it. This does not mean it does not exist. It is pervasive, and we as white people benefit from it every single day. We are not questioned or followed in stores, we are not stared at or avoided, we do not have slurs thrown at us regularly, we are not disproportionately incarcerated or killed. It needs to be recognized, examined and challenged constantly. This alone will not fix anything, but it is a requirement.