The event was over; Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam was playing, to no one’s surprise, and at that point we just wanted a peek, another drink and to see what the whole goddamned surf world was either fawning over or writing off entirely. Big Tony respected our determination, our steely-nerved grit in the face of total and utter embarrassment. He said he would see what he could do. We thanked him kindly and sincerely and returned to the side of the road where mosquitoes continued to suck my ankles raw. 100 bites later, Tony rolled up in his cart and said we were good to go. We asked him to say it again, you know, for the Instagram story… and after a nerdy, yet well connected high five, we—being Michael, Lyon and I—were in.*

And good god, the Surf Ranch is huge. Like, you need binoculars to see the wave from the takeoff. It spans four football fields. And the wave itself is truly amazing - "a specimen of technology" as I told a news reporter from atop our cherry picker while spewing nonsense in an awkward interview (we, unfortunately, can’t embed it but you can watch it here).

Slater's wave, from the comfort of a mobile device, is easy to write off as a fun novelty. In the flesh, however, it looks hard to surf. The world’s best were struggling with it throughout the day—falling on the takeoff, missing sections. But Steph got a 14-second barrel. We watched Pottz try and fail to scrape into one. Shaun Tomson pulled in, but the tube easily outran him.

We learned that the bottom is hard concrete and John Florence was one of two people to break a board out there. There are spots that grow, spots that are heavy, and it has proper power. The danger factor of the wave is surprisingly respectable.

After Thomas The Tank turned off and the sun set, Eddie Vedder played for the small crowd still gathered, joined by the musical talents of Kelly and Rob Machado. We thanked Kelly after the event. Steph Gilmore came by and smiled, “Oh, the Stab boys finally got in.” We blushed. Kelly said, “Steph we should have had you play,” then turned to me and Michael and explained her musical talents. We talked a bit about the wave, the event, he was clearly on a high. His little science experiment was officially, uh, "contestable".