The Internet is heavily under the influence of the powerful pro-kitten lobby, but I need you to listen to the truth: kittens are terrible and will ruin your life. Once upon a time, these horrible ...

... soulless ...

... disgusting creatures had me duped as well. Like many kittenless couples, we wanted kittens badly. The only drawback (so we thought) was that they'd turn into mean, lazy adult cats someday, and then we'd have to shred them, or however it is you dispose of outdated pets.



Composting?

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My boyfriend found the perfect solution in "kitten fostering." That's when orphaned baby kittens too young to be adopted are raised in a foster home by volunteers until they're old enough to be neutered and put up for permanent adoption. After they're adopted out, the foster family can then foster some new kittens, and you'll never have stupid grown-up cats. "It's like a kitten library!" he said. You just check out fresh kittens, every two months, forever, then give them back when you're done!

So we talked to a rescue organization and came home with Kirk, Picard and Sisko (the fourth would have been named Scott Bakula.)

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Same litter, different dads. Yes, cats can do that.

These little angel-faced assholes showed us the reality of raising kittens: unrelenting horror.