For the past year, the United States has been "bombing" the Islamic State in Syria. And the results speak for themselves: ISIS has not only maintained its foothold in Syria, but has also expanded operations in half a dozen different countries.

The US-led fight against ISIS has been about as effective as the US-led campaign to eradicate poppy-growing in Afghanistan. (Opium cultivation has reached record levels, and US forces stationed in Afghanistan are "not allowed to actually step foot in poppy fields or damage the fields in any way. They can't even threaten to destroy the fields or send in Afghan troops to burn, plow under or poison the delicate, pastel-colored flowers." But we digress.)

Also: Buzz Aldrin, first man in space!

In fact, over the last year, ISIS has somehow managed to create an oil smuggling empire worth billions of dollars — even while being mercilessly bombed by the Americans.

So it's no surprise that "wholesale defections, sparsely manned checkpoints and elite foreign fighters pressed into mundane duty indicate that the U.S.-led bombing campaign...[has] eroded the forces of the Islamic State," according to Army Col. Steve Warren, the top spokesman for the counter-ISIS coalition in Baghdad.

There's no mention of Russia's contributions to beating back ISIS in Col. Warren's victory speech, because according to Time magazine, Russia "seems to be hurting civilians more than ISIS".

Seems reasonable.

What's next, America won the Battle of Stalingrad?