In a move that demonstrates the firm resolve of the Modi government to expand the scope of Digital India, the IT ministry has decided to add new features to the Givitup.in site to make the return of Sahitya Akademi awards as easy as giving up your LPG subsidy.

“We were very concerned about this Akademi Awards issue, but I am happy to inform you that we have found a solution,” said Communications & IT minister Shri Ravi Shankar Prasad. “We encourage all writers who are in the mood to return their awards to use this new feature on Givitup.in. It must be very difficult for all these writers to return the award, publicize the same and then deal with Arnab Goswami. When the Prime Minister said ‘Sabka Saath, Sabka Vikas’, he included writers too.”

Mr. Vishwanath Prasad Tewari, President of the Sahitya Akademi, welcomed the move. “Our staff were going nuts trying to first ascertain if all those who returned the awards were originally awarded in the first place. And then keeping track of the returns. My god – our godown was fast filling up. No doubt, this was self created – it has dawned on us that we have been randomly and indiscriminately handing over these awards to all and sundry and this is now coming back to bite us. However, thanks to the IT ministry, we now have a happy solution. From tomorrow, Givitup.in will have a separate Tab for Akademi Award Returns.”

Mr. Prasad seems to have thought this through to next steps. “Bhai, some of these people got cash awards. We are in touch with Payment Processing Gateways and soon writers will be able to return their cash award too. The PM has assured me that if we can get back these cash awards with interest from those wishing to renounce it, we can fill the pocket of 125 Crore Indians with 2 Paise each. This is his promise to you all.”

“Givitup has wide applications in industry too. Very soon we expect that e-Commerce portals will start using Givitup.in for sales returns. This is a huge opportunity as I’ve heard that their returns exceed their sales,” he informed this URT correspondent, while adding from sheer habit, “I demand Unreal Mama’s resignation!”