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Miami rent is out-of-control.

Thought rent would go down. Not so much huh?? Yet they keep building condos that no one is going to live in. Did you know that up to 70% of Miami condos are owned by Limited Liability Companies, meaning we don’t know who own the condos? It’s one of the reasons why rent is so high.

Our apartment on the Bay (which we’ve rented for seven years) just sold for $600,000 in cash and the new foreign owners plan to renovate and then rent the unit out for almost double what we’ve been paying. So, we’re Audi.

We’re looking but the market is mind-boggling.

Prices on rentals are SO HIGH.

Ten percent increases might be reasonable but 40 percent to 100 percent — um, no — INSERT Jerry Seinfeld’s crackling high-pitched voice: what is the deal, Miami?!?

CUE ex-New York gubernatorial candidate Jimmy McMillan, stick him in Wynwood, let him twirl that mustache and yell: the rent is too damn high.

Yes, this dude ran for Governor of New York.

MIAMI RENT IS TOO DAMN HIGH

Miami is a great city. People who live here love and understand our city, way more than outsiders. But let’s be honest. We are poor. Miami is not South Beach.

Our living wages are increasing, but our incomes are not. Other than the hospitality and tourism industry, which is off-season, there aren’t many booming sectors of the economy.

It’s hard to find a steady full-time job in Miami. As a right-to-work state, employees have no voice or organizational clout. More and more businesses hire part-time workers to save expenses of offering full-time benefits. Some of this is systemic across the country, but a lot of it isn’t. Miami rent and real estate is built on speculation.

A lot of these speculators are investing from the outside-looking-in. To speculate is to form a theory about a subject without firm evidence. Are you even aware of the Panama Papers?

The only evidence seen from the inside-out in Miami is that rent is going up; grocery prices are up; gas is expensive; FPL and Comcast bills are up; yet our incomes are staying the same or going down.

So, good-bye condo on the Bay..

Gone are the basic condo amenities that are supposed to come with the city. Adios central air-conditioning, flat screen televisions, doormen, a concierge, multiple valets of diverse gender, multiple in-house restaurants, jacuzzis, steam rooms, and of course an elevated view of the ocean.

#sarcasm

It was fun while it lasted.

Little Havana, Little River, Little Haiti, Little Somewhere here we come.