Not Recommended 955.3 hrs on record (836.2 hrs at review time)

It doesn't matter how good you are any more, you will be judged solely on the market value of your inventory.



You should have one of your several Karambit knives equipped at all times and inspect it in game whenever possible to ensure that anybody who is spectating you is aware that you are aware you're being watched and you are absolutely showing off that extremely pricey knife you own.



Your stats are irrelevant now, most people aren't even aware that the 'Tab' key actually has a function in game. It doesn't matter if you don't know what 'eco' means. Fu­ck team work. You have a 'BOOM' AWP in your inventory, as long as you have $4750 cash in game you're buying an AWP.



You will mock anyone who decided to give their Nova the 'Walnut' skin. Same goes for people who give their FAMAS the 'Doomkitty' skin. You will only equip 'StatTrak' weapons and the first thing you do when you acquire one is go on an idle server and get several hundred kills on AFK players in order to pad the stats so you don't look like a total n00b.



Whenever a new case is released you will buy as many cases and keys as it takes in order to acquire 'an Exceedingly Rare Special Item!' Disregard the fact that you will end up spending three times as much as you otherwise would've by buying this directly from the market, it's only your parents' money after all. Besides, your birthday is next month and Christmas/Easter/[insert public holiday here] is just around the corner so you won't have to wait too long before you can blow more of their money on digital goods.



You will also plaster ever single skin you own with multiple unseemly stickers with the intention of creating a unique skin for your weapon. Your 'Easy Peasy' and 'Ninjas in Pyjamas' stickers totally don't look ridiculous whatsoever. You will also name tag all of your weapons in order to add that final personal touch to the weapon you invested so much time and money in. You don't own an AK or an M4 any more, you only own weapons with names like 'xXx OG Snoop Dogg' and 'dubstep warrior'.



You now have all the knowledge required to start playing CS:GO. Go forth and procure many skins of great value.

Posted March 16, 2016. Last edited August 30, 2017.