New WWE open, which debuted on the 1,000th Raw. Intro video for the 25th SummerSlam, which isn’t the 25th anniversary, but is billed as such because WWE doesn’t know how anniversaries work. Pyro and ballyhoo. We are LIVE from Los Angeles! Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler are the announcers.

Vickie Guerrero comes out to scream at us. I guess that means Ziggler vs. Jericho is up first. They show clips of Ziggler winning the Money In The Bank Ladder Match last month. Jericho comes out and they show a clip of Ziggler injuring Jericho’s ribs this past Smackdown. Justin Roberts is a ring announcer.

Dolph Ziggler (w/ Vickie Guerrero) vs. Chris Jericho. Jericho is sporting taped ribs from the aforementioned attack. Ziggler runs around the ring and Jericho gives chase. Back inside, Jericho catches him with an elbow smash and beats him up a bit. Ziggler does a drop down and a leap frog, but Jericho catches him with a chop. Ziggler avoids a suplex and attacks the injured ribs. Jericho gets a reprieve by back body dropping Ziggler to the floor. He goes for his rebound dropkick to the apron, but fails and eats the floor as Ziggler makes it back into the ring. Ziggler continues to punish the ribs. Vickie is obnoxious at ringside. Ziggler hits a Rude Awakening, complete with gyrating hips, then pulls a Jericho classic on foot cover for 2. Jericho gets whipped into the ropes, but catches Ziggler with a schoolboy for 2. Ziggler charges Jericho in the corner, eats it, and Jericho gets a brief flurry. Ziggler charges the corner again and eats Jericho’s boot. Jericho follows with a diving elbow smash. Ziggler sends Jericho into the post, then hits the Fameasser for 2. Jericho goes for the Walls of Jericho, fails, but lands an enzuigiri for 2. Ziggler avoids Jericho in the corner, jumps on his back, and clamps on the sleeper hold. Jericho backs Ziggler into the corner to escape. Ziggler kicks him in the ribs and goes up top. Jericho cuts him off, pounds on him, and hits a top rope Frankensteiner~! Delayed cover gets 2. Ziggler catches Jericho out of nowhere with a swank DDT for 2. They trade shots. Jericho hits the bulldog and goes for the Lionsault. Ziggler catches him in the injured ribs with raised knees, then hits the Zig Zag, but Jericho kicks out! Jericho catches Ziggler with the Codebreaker. Ziggler rolls to the floor. Jericho throws Ziggler back into the ring. Vickie grabs Jericho’s leg, allowing Ziggler to get an inside cradle for 2. Jericho sends Ziggler into the post and locks in the Walls of Jericho. Ziggler taps in 13:06. Yes, Jericho won, but is this really “the big one?” It made sense when Jericho did this angle with The Rock in 2001 and won the World title, but is the opening match of SummerSlam the same thing? Good match, though.

Slim Jim commercial.

Los Angeles!

They show Brock Lesnar destroying Shawn Michaels on Raw last week.

Matt Striker interviews Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman. Well, Paul does all of the talking.

Lillian Garcia is also a ring announcer. The Spanish announcers, Carlos Cabrera and Marcelo Rodriguez, are present as well.

Daniel Bryan vs. Kane. Kane has his dukes up, which amuses me. Bryan kicks at the larger man’s legs. Kane catches a kick and throws him down. Bryan avoids an elbow and kicks him some more. Kane punches him a bit. Bryan backflips off the top rope, then gets slammed for 2. Kane stomps Bryan in the corner. Fans are chanting for Bryan. Bryan fails at a reverse cradle and eats a big boot. Cover gets 2 for Kane. Bryan kicks at Kane’s knee some more. Kane nonchalantly choke throws Bryan out of the ring. Bryan gets back in as Kane comes out and takes him out with a tope suicide. Back inside, Bryan hits a missile dropkick for 2. Bryan lands more kicks as the crowd chants “YES!” Kane ducks a critical blow and lands a clothesline. Kane hits a sidewalk slam for 2. Kane hits the diving lariat and goes for the chokeslam. Bryan counters out and rolls to the apron, pulls Kane’s head over the top rope, then comes back in to eat a punch. Bryan slaps Kane defiantly. Kane beats the crap out of him in the corner until the referee forces a break. Bryan takes the opportunity and goes on the offensive. He goes for the LeBell/Yes/No Lock, fails, and settles for kicking Kane in the chest. He gets annoyed at the “YES!” chants and goes for the diving headbutt. Kane catches him by the throat and hits the chokeslam. Instead of covering, he signals for the Tombstone. Bryan counters it into an inside cradle for the pin in 8:03! Bryan wins! YES! YES! YES! Fun little match.

Kane, pissed that lost, rampages around backstage. Josh Matthews tries to interview him, but Kane grabs him by the throat, yells “WHERE?! IS?! HE?!” and throws him away, then continues his rampage.

Don’t drink and drive.

WWE Intercontinental Championship Match: The Miz (c) vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. I think Mysterio’s costume is supposed to be Batman. They lock up. Miz lands a shoulder block. Mysterio sits up and kind of stares at him. They do a bit of wrestling that ends in Rey getting a near fall and Miz taking a quick powder. Miz comes back in and gets to stompin’. Rey hits a flying headscissors. Miz throws Rey out of the ring. Rey slides back in as Miz slides out, then dropkicks Miz through the ropes. Miz sends Rey torso-first into the barricade. Back inside, Miz goes to work. Rey counters a backdrop and gets a 2 count. Miz catches Rey with that lucha-style backbreaker that Jericho does on Rey for 2. Miz beats on Rey some more. Rey tries to make a comeback, but eats a clothesline, which gets a 2 count for Miz. Miz hits his corner clothesline and goes up top, but Rey dropkicks Miz, crotching h im on the top turbuckle. Rey hits the diving seated senton and goes for a rana, but Miz catches him with a powerbomb for 2. Rey ducks a kick and gets a cradle for 2, then kicks Miz in the head for another 2. Combine the two, and he got a 4 count, so he almost won under Canadian rules. Rey hits a whirly DDT for 2. Rey goes up top again, but gets caught. Rey fights Miz off and hits a diving headscissors, which puts Miz into 619 position. Rey hits the 619 and goes for the diving splash, but Miz avoids it. Miz goes for the Skull Crushing Finale, but Rey turns it into a cradle for 2. Miz launches Rey into the turnbuckles, then hits the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin in 9:10. It was okay, but I never really got into it.

Plug for the WWE iPhone/Android app. I downloaded it. It’s not that interesting.

Teddy Long and Eve Torres walk out of the GM’s office and talk about how quirky AJ Lee is. They walk away and WWE Champion CM Punk walks into the office. He complains to AJ about being in a Triple Threat Match tonight. She just cocks her head and stares off into space, ignoring him.

Sheamus/Alberto Del Rio hype video.

Ricardo Rodriguez introduces Alberto Del Rio for the World Championship match.

World Heavyweight Championship Match: Sheamus (c) vs. Alberto Del Rio. They lock up. Del Rio backs Sheamus into the corner. Repeat. They tumble out of the ring together and brawl on the floor. Back inside, Sheamus hits a neckbreaker for 2. Sheamus hits the Finlay Roll for 2. Sheamus goes for the Razor’s Edge, but fails. He ends up getting Del Rio up on his shoulders as Del Rio exposes the turnbuckle. Sheamus counters the Minoru Special and misses the Brogue Kick. Del Rio kicks Sheamus off the apron, then sends him knee first into the steps. Back inside, Del Rio clamps on a rear chin lock. Sheamus escapes and goes for another neckbreaker, but Del Rio kicks him in the knee, then in the head for 2. They fight some more. Del Rio is wearing black gear that looks reall weird on him for some reason. He taunts Sheamus by doing the “Brogue!” taunt. He teases a Brogue Kick, but Sheamus cuts him off. Del Rio sends Sheamus’ shoulder into the post. Sheamus tries to go up top, but gets cut off. Del Rio hits an arm breaker (pulling the knees into the arm) off the top for 2. There has to be a better name for that move. Del Rio goes for his move, but Sheamus counters. Del Rio counters the counter and hits the Minoru Special. Sheamus powers up and slams Del Rio down. Sheamus hits the White Noise (Schwein) for 2. Sheamus goes for the Brogue Kick, but Del Rio avoids him. Sheamus clubbers Del Rio in the chest. Why hasn’t the referee fixed that exposed turnbuckle? Oh, I see. Del Rio drops Sheamus into the exposed buckle, then hits an enzuigiri, but Sheamus kicks out! Del Rio roughs up Ricardo just because he’s a dick. Sheamus hits Del Rio with Ricardo’s shoe, then hits the White Noise for the pin in 11:24, even though Del Rio’s foot was on the bottom rope. That’s actually the finish? Okay then. Del Rio and Ricardo bitch at the referee, and rightfully so. This match did not click with me at all.

Plug for the National Guard, or rather, how great WWE is for supporting the National Guard.

Cole and Lawler plug Night of Champions.

On the pre-show, Triple H told referee Scott Armstrong to not DQ or count anyone out tonight in his match with Brock Lesnar.

Last week on Raw, the Prime Time Players beat up R-Truth while Kofi Kingston was in China, then Touted about it.

WWE Tag Team Championship Match: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth (c) vs. The Prime Time Players. Truth beats up Young to start. O’Neil tags in and drops Truth with a boot, barks, and covers for 2. Kofi tags in and keeps O’Neil off balance with his speed. Kofi hits the Boom Drop and goes for the Trouble In Paradise, but Young distracts him. Heel chicanery on the outside leads to the Players getting the advantage. Kofi plays face in peril. Young looks like he’s trying to get Kofi in some retarded triangle choke. It fails completely, but he continues to put a beating on Kofi. O’Neil tags in and applies an abdominal stretch. Kofi turns a spinning slam into a spike DDT. Truth gets the hot tag and runs wild on Darren Young. Truth hits a front suplex. Cover, but O’Neil saves. O’Neil throws Kofi out of the ring, but Kofi skins the cat, low bridges him out, and takes him out with a dive. Truth thinks about a dive, but Young schoolboys him for 2. Young goes for something and fails, and Truth hits the Paydirt, whatever he’s calling it this week, for the pin in 7:07. Players are nothing without AW. This match was pretty close to nothing, too.

Axxess clips.

Punk/Cena/Show hype video.

Triple Threat Match for the WWE Championship: CM Punk (c) vs. John Cena vs. The Big Show. Big Show beats up everyone to start. Punk seems to be channeling Bret Hart with his pink gear. Cena and Punk unite to try to suplex Show, but Show suplexes both of them at the same time. Show wins on them some more. Cena gets tossed out of the ring by Show and Punk makes a comeback until he stupidly goes for the Go 2 Sleep and fails. Cena tries to give Show the Attitude Adjustment, but Punk pushes them over. Punk covers Cena, but Show saves. Show beats up Punk some more and throws Cena out of the ring again. Punk avoids Show in the corner and goes for a springboard cross body, but Show catches him and hits the Final Cut. Show signals for the KO punch, but Cena reappears and cuts him off. Show spears Cena for 2. Show goes for a Vader Bomb onto both opponents, but Punk avoids it and Cena takes the full brunt. Punk breaks Show’s cover. Show throws Punk out of the ring, then goes after Cena on the other side. Punk tries a dive, but Show catches him and launches him into the ropes from the outside. Awesome. Show and Cena go at it in the ring. Punk pulls Show’s head over the top rope, allowing Cena to hit a backdrop suplex. LA crowd doesn’t like Cena. Cena signals for the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Punk cuts him off. Punk hits the diving elbow drop on Show. Cover, but Show throws him across the ring at 2. Punk kicks Show in the head and locks in the Koji Clutch, of all things. Show breaks out. Punk takes a powder. Cena hits Show with a shoulder block and locks in the STF. Show stands and backs Cena into the corner. Cena goes for a dive, but Show catches and slams him. Punk drops Show with a diving lariat and hits him with 3 running knees to the corner, but Show counters the bulldog. Cena hits Show with the diving Fameasser, but ends up on the apron. Punk locks Show in the Koji Clutch. Cena also applies the STF. Show taps. The referee calls for the bell, but there are 2 winners. Cena and Punk argue with the referee. Raw GM AJ Lee skips out and rules that the match must continue. Show immediately chokeslams both me. Cover on Cena gets 2. Cover on Punk gets 2. Cena ducks the KO punch and hits Show with the Attitude Adjustment. Punk throws Cena out of the ring and pins Show in 14:28. Very enjoyable match. Punk celebrates.

Los Angeles!

Celebrities are here! Including former WCW World Heavyweight Champion David Arquette and WrestleMania participant Maria Menounos (sporting a Bob Backlund shirt).

Trailer for WWE Films’ latest, The Day.

On the preshow, Antonio Cesaro beat Santino Marella for the WWE United States Championship, with help from Aksana.

Kevin Ruldolf (who?) performs the SummerSlam theme song. People Dance like idiots. The divas come out to dance: Tamina, Kaitlyn, Natalya, Aksana, Eve Torres, Kelly Kelly, Cameron, Naomi, Layla, Rosa Mendez, and Alicia Fox.

Los Angeles.

Triple H/Lesnar hype video.

Brock Lesnar (w/ Paul Heyman) vs. Triple H. Brock immediately powers Triple H into the corner. Hunter comes back with punches. Brock repeats and goes for the Kimura. Triple H counters. Brock beats him in the corner some more and goes for it again. He gets a standing version, but Hunter is in the ropes. Triple H fights back and clotheslines Brock out of the ring. Brock comes back in and beats up Triple H in the corner some more. Hunter lands a knee lift and clotheslines Brock out of the ring again. Lesnar looks irked. Brock comes back in and takes off his gloves. It’s a bare knuckle fight now! Brock gets a double leg takedown and pummels Triple H with a few punches. Hunter bails, selling a punch to the back of the head. They brawl outside. Brock gives Hunter a hammerlock slam onto the announce table. The brawl some more back inside. Brock delivers another hammerlock slam. Brock continues working the arm. Triple H counters an F-5 attempt, but Brock hits him with a BIG German suplex. Brock stomps Triple H’s arm again. Triple H tries to bail, gets caught, and pulls Brock against the top rope. Hunter manages to score with a DDT. Brock immediately goes after the arm again. I always enjoy a hammerlock slam, and Brock is dishing them out liberally tonight. They go outside and Lesnar sends Triple H into the post. They wreck the Spanish announce table. Brock actually jumps off of it and hits Triple H with a big chop. Back in the ring, Triple H tries to fight back. Lesnar gets an inside cradle of all things for 2. Lesnar hits a clothesline and goes for a suplex, but Hunter counters and suplexes him. Lesnar clotheslines the turnbuckle. Triple H goes for the Pedigree, but fails, gets whipped into the corner, and does the Michaels flip out of the ring. Brock takes a shot into the announce table on his stomach and starts dry heaving. The announcers talk about his issues with diverticulitis. Hunter goes after the midsection. He hits some knee lifts to the stomach. Triple H hits the spinebuster and goes for the Pedigree. Lesnar counters and goes for the F-5. Triple H counters and hits the Pedigree, but Lesnar kicks out. Triple H goes for the Pedigree again, but Lesnar hits him square in the balls. The referee, per Hunter’s request, is letting it go. Lesnar hits the F-5, but Triple H kicks out. Lesnar locks on the standing Kimura again. Triple H tries to fight out, but Lesnar goes to the ground with it. Triple H gets the ropes, but the ref isn’t enforcing the rules. Hunter fights out of the hold. Hunter hits the Pedigree and goes for the cover, but Lesnar gets the Kimura again. Triple H taps in 18:45. I’m absolutely shocked that they did the right thing and put Lesnar over. The match was an intense brawl, but not on the level of Lesnar/Cena. I’ll give it a thumbs slightly up. Lesnar leaves. Hunter refuses medical attention. Fans chant “YOU TAPPED OUT!”, which is probably not what WWE was going for with this. Hunter mouths “I’m sorry” and leaves to a mixture of boos and polite applause.

This show started well, dipped really low in the middle, peaked with the triple threat match, and ended okay. I’d say the show as a whole is thumbs in the middle.

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