Traffic on I-26 was a complete disaster this morning after an overly aggressive A-hole in a pick-up truck collided with a dumbass who was texting and driving. Now all the roads are crammed full of slow-moving cars and everyone’s schedules are completely screwed.

Even though the cars involved sustained minor damage and could be moved, the drivers just let them clog a lane during the busiest part of the morning commute. Things reached gridlock-level when a firetruck responded and parked diagonally across another lane, sending all commuters into mental madness. Drivers who tried to escape into side streets became stuck in more traffic within minutes, because Charleston’s transportation infrastructure is a disaster and goes to shit when there’s a single road incident.

Local commuter Frank Bruin said he’s considering a change of careers so he doesn’t have to deal with the traffic anymore. “Traffic in Charleston is a never-ending, soul-sucking beast that is only getting stronger,” he said. “I’m thinking about leaving my job as a software engineer and just taking online surveys all day. I may have to move into a trailer in Goose Creek, but it’s better than sitting in traffic all day.”

Local drivers should expect more morning traffic tomorrow when construction crews block two lanes of I-526 for five miles to repair a ten foot stretch of road.







