During Frank Beamer's tenure Virginia Tech football has been synonymous with consistency. Ten win seasons, Wild Turkey at tailgates, Bud Foster snarling on the sidelines, and fans blaming Bryan Stinespring for any, and, everything that's gone wrong.

"Defense gave up 3 scores in the first quarter... Stiney better score fifty!"

"Ugh, a fumble and blocked punt... Come on now Stiney!"

Unfortunately, this season Tech's favorite, and most convenient whipping boy will no longer be in charge of calling plays. Oh no! Now who do we blame when the shit hits the fan...? (Don't let anyone fool you, this is an important question.)

Who: Curt Newsome

Plausibility: 7/10

Rational: As of late the offensive line has either underperformed or taken too many games to execute at a high level relative to their potential. Any offense and team is only going to go as far as their offensive line.

Verdict: Casual fans really have no idea what a Curt Newsome is, nor would they want to carry an insurance policy on one once they found out what it was.

Who: Jim Weaver

Plausibility: 5/10

Rational: Death Valley? 8:00 PM kickoff? LSU? Weaver is the one scheduling all these non-conference games we're losing. I'm still baffled at how we ended up playing ECU anywhere but Lane Stadium.

Verdict: If I was Jim Weaver and I read this, I'd come to my house wearing a jeweled, feathered and studded robe over a singlet and chop me down while screaming, "to be the man..."

Who: Bud Foster

Plausibility: 0/10

Rational: The defense, like the rest of the team, comes up lame against elite competition.

Verdict: Bud is infallible.



Don't you effin' think about it. /barks

Who: The "Invent the Future" Horse

Plausibility: 4/10

Rational: Horses are built to take abuse.

Verdict: This, horse, is, on, a, treadmill. And that's the future I want to live in, horses on treadmills, polar bears squatting quad plates, and dogs reverse curling quarters on muscle beach.

Who: Mike London

Plausibility: 2/10

Rational: Slowly but surely Mike London is putting out Al Groh's dumpster fire at UVa. He's embraced alumni, recruited / is recruiting the 757 and is building depth from the inside out with talent from the state at some expense to the Hokies.

Verdict: An absolutely laughable notion. There's a snow ball's chance in hell that Hokies credit Mike London for doing anything positive.

Who: Bryan Stinespring

Plausibility: 9/10

Rational: Did you really think a demotion to a more behind the scenes position would make him any less of a scapegoat?

Verdict: Guilty, with no parole.

Who: We don't knock anyone and accept that things won't always go the team's way.

Plausibility: 0/10

Rational: It makes too much sense.

Verdict: Hahahaha /breathes Hahahaha. It’s not happening.

You are more than welcome to play the blame game too.