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S2E2 – The Last Apprentice: Revenge of the Witch – Seventh Son*

Ryan: 3 Stars “…A heroic fantasy blending in just the right amount of horror for young readers to delight in…”

Wilk: 3 Stars “…I liked this book. But I would of liked it better if I was a twelve year old boy…”

Rick: 4 Stars “…The book adopts an environment and characters perfect for indoctrinating your preteen with haunted tales...”

(Click the links to read full written reviews on Goodreads.com)

Book: “The Last Apprentice: Revenge of the Witch” by Joseph Delaney



Alternate Title in UK:”Wardstone Chronicles: The Spook’s Apprentice”

“For years, Old Gregory has been the Spook for the county, ridding the local villages of evil. Now his time is coming to an end. But who will take over for him? Twenty-nine apprentices have tried—some floundered, some fled, some failed to stay alive.

*** * ***

Movie: “Seventh Son” by Sergei Bodrov (Jeff Bridges)



“In a time long past, an evil is about to be unleashed that will reignite the war between the forces of the supernatural and humankind once more. Master Gregory (Jeff Bridges) is a knight who had imprisoned the malevolently powerful witch, Mother Malkin (Julianne Moore), centuries ago. But now she has escaped and is seeking vengeance.” (from Amazon.com)

Ever wonder why you find people at the burger restaurant with their BFFs, scarfing down $10 burgers and wearing $245 sunglasses? Shhh… It’s a secret… The sunglasses transform the proletariat into high profile executive hustlas. Reality emulates fantasy and fantasy sometimes throws a bone to the playa, sometimes the bone has a fillet hanging off it. Taking it a step further… the props of a teenage music entertainer’s are a bit more hard to come by, but still completely hollow and meaningless. These are usually fashionable looks, sweaty abs, thrusting moves and legendary grooming. The real talent is only assumed and the actual product is drown in white noise, fervently consumed with delusion and imagery. The art or product is akin to ground ribs and cartilage of a swine poured into a form, boiled, and slathered in a tangy sweet sauce. This product is to be consumed by the hipsters at the burger boutique wearing $245 over their eyes to filter out the savory detail of what they eat. Alrighty, one more step even further than this would be the perceived intelligence of “Dr.” Phil, whose homespun common sense and full mustache has the Bible Belt in agreement that they are psychologically enlightened with matters of crystal meth addiction and familial debauchery.

So, without further ado and akin to designer sunglasses in a Burger King, a zit-free baby face and a hick psychologist, the tail which wagged this month’s dog was … Drum roll please! … Han Solo’s cameo appearance in the book, the Mongol seed of Mother Russia, having intercourse with the family ambrosia, encyclopedic knowledge on what women desire, Wilk’s gasconade of plowing through a children’s book in five hours and not knowing the names of any characters, Ryan’s caution with the word ‘spook’, my admission that I am mystified by my wife, who, with my mom and my Aunt are the only women I know anything about.

Of course, if the prospective listener is looking for actual content, this show delivers. The hosts aptly point out that English children understand and enjoy the same books as American adults. We also talk about the “journey.” In retrospect, it was a completely embarrassing analysis. Rather than accepting that any journey is what makes a story, Tom Ward’s journey was dismissed as a mere fantasy trope. This must have completely disgraced the master storytellers in the heavens. For this, I apologize. We all did thoroughly enjoy the book and the movie—a sort of rare thing.

Last attempt in pealing back the two gram onion, this month’s show included more excuse making of why the show kind of sucks. It’s ironic but all too common that the excuses usually come from the most talented individual on the set in show business. This time the show sucked because it was recorded too early in the morning. Another interesting tidbit about the show is that it was yet another whose subject book (The Last Apprentice: The Spook, The Witch and The Wardrobe) received a positively vanilla reception from our fearless leader. He can understand the trials and tribulations of professional writing. After all, he is a professional writer. Maybe one day his efforts will be noticed. At 37 and being a graduate of Valparaiso U; he is most likely up Shit Creek with a turd for a paddle. My advice to him is to get a sex change, gain admittance to the Texas bar and defend the prevalent sale and use of crystal meth. After he does that, he might have some good stuff, especially if he gets on “Dr.” Phil’s show.

Despite what the idiot box says, we all need to be reminded that we are good enough, smart enough, and that people like us. So, please listen to the show, and when you realize there is little actual content in each show and that there is No Deodorant in Outer Space, give us a holler in the form of a scathing review or terse, off-putting comment. Thank you.

-Rick

FUN FACTOIDS:

Here is a map of Lancaster County in England that was basis for the setting in the book that I found at a blog hosted by, Larissabookgirl, –check it out: http://ic.pics.livejournal.com/larissabookgirl/20730929/66850/66850_original.jpg.