That shindig was locked down tighter than the First Lady’s biceps.

Byron York, Washington Examiner:

There was a party in the East Room of the White House Saturday night, an affair attended by a reported 500 people, a lavish celebration with celebrities galore, appearances by some of the world’s most popular performers, lots of dancing and powerful government officials, including, of course, the most powerful official of all, the President of the United States. And the White House wants to make sure you know as little as possible about it…

It’s not easy to enforce discipline on successful, wealthy, and famous people used to having their own way. But the White House apparently did not want to see photos of the first lady’s glittery gala circulating around the Internet. So it imposed a strict rule: No cellphones. “Guests were told not to bring cellphones with them, and there was a cellphone check-in area for those who did,” reported the Chicago Tribune. “Signs at the party told guests: No cellphones, no social media.” People magazine added: “Guests had been greeted by a ‘cell phone check’ table where they deposited their camera phones on arrival and it was understood that this was not an occasion for Tweeting party photos or Facebooking details.” The publications cited sources who insisted on anonymity for fear of White House reprisal.

I hope Michelle at least let them eat cake.

York theorizes that “maybe, since the president has announced he is devoting the rest of his time in office to an ‘inequality agenda,’ the White House felt photos of a champagne-soaked, star-studded party would be somewhat off-message.” That it would.

But what would’ve been the alternative? A modest, low-key affair that didn’t celebrate Her Majesty’s glory?

Yeah, right! Just for thinking that, drop and give me 20 push-ups, racist. Then make a Shake Shack run for me, I’m starving. Oh, and is my next photo op at Target set up? Good, good…