ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Despite the oppressive desert heat and sheer expense, a number of local young professionals have spent the morning queuing outside Le Pisse Dans Ma Poche, in Betoota’s Old City, for a loaf of artisan bread like they’re living under communism.

Pete Moorehollande explained to The Advocate this morning from his spot in the line that there’s nothing quite like fresh bread and an iced coffee to take the edge off the Simpson Desert summer.

“After a long steamy night at The Betoota Hotel, betting on cockfights, feeding Pelican Pete and eating pot after pot of bitter, there’s nothing better than hooking into some Pisse Dans Ma Poche,” he said.

“Normally, I’d just visit the local mixed business and pick up some Tip-Top and a pouch, but I won a fucking stack at the cockfights last night. This rooster, let me tell you mate, he ripped one pussy cock to bits and pecked his eyes out. He’ll put my kids through Toowoomba Grammar, that bastard will.”

Located in the heart of Betoota’s famous Old City district, an old fort from the frontier wars, the addition of a French-influenced bakery was initially met with some scepticism.

However, the Betootanese populous has grown to adore the foreign Pisse Dans Ma Poche cuisine – with people from all walks of life taking the time to queue for bread each Saturday morning.

Joining the back of the line is Max Dollarhyde, a local trapper who enjoys the finer things in life, like assaulting people down at the pub and poisoning dingoes and other wild dogs.

The 59-year-old is hoping he’s not too late to pick up one of his favourite damper bacon and egg rolls before they inevitably sell out.

“There’s nothing better,” he said. “Not even a midnight visit from bloody Miranda Kerr. Not that I’d mind that either! [laughs] Yeah, but nah, mate. It’s fucked today, they reckon 50 in the shade, boori?”

“Anyway, joog. Can you go and put some more money in the meter for me, cunt? It’ll cost me more to park here than eat here. At this rate, we’ll be as busy as Birdsville by Christmas.”

More to come.