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Down in The First State (to cancel fun,) NSW Premier and former head of Ravenclaw House, Gladys Berijiklian, is spending her days hoping to be asked a question unrelated to pill testing.

According to state Liberal staffers, following several pill overdoses at music festivals, the NSW premier has been in a somber mood as she considers the possibility she may never be asked a question unrelated to pill testing unless she decides to do something about it.

“Please, just once, ask me something that’s not about testing your bloody backyard biccies,” proclaimed the Premier.

“And not about the stadiums either. Or public transport.”

In a recent press conference, the NSW premier stated that if she was asked one more question about taking measures to save the lives on young, non-liberal voters she might just “pop an eccy” to put herself out this misery.

“No one has even asked me how I’m doing. I’m fucked, thanks for asking. How the fuck are you, you mangy little drug-addict?”

More to come.