WE Aussies are so proud of our deadly critters and love to terrify tourists with tales of a natural world that’s out to kill them, but the north of the continent, with all its crocodiles and taipans and stingers and such, gets most of the press.

Well, in South Australia, we’re tired of being left off the lethal list and so, with the help of video and pictures sent in by our readers, we’ve come up with our own set of reasons why you should consider never, ever going outside.

Let’s start small. The blue-ringed octopus is so tiny it could fit into the palm of your hand. Don’t try that, though, because if it gets angry, you could well be doomed.

The creature’s venom is similar to that found in puffer fish and poison-dart frogs, and you won’t know you’re in danger until it begins to work. It will do that in minutes, and then you will go into paralysis, stop breathing and die unless you get urgent and intensive medical treatment. There is no antivenene, so the only way to survive is through assisted breathing (respirator) until the toxin wears off.

This octopus, found in rock pools around the SA coast, was used as a tatto insignia for the “Octopus Cult” baddies in Bond film Octopussy, and you don’t get much more evil than a Bond villain.

Seriously, though, the creature is docile and shy unless disturbed and its main threat is to curious children who might pick it up in the shallows. Once antagonised, it flashes the blue rings from which it gets its name, but it really is best not to get to this point. Just leave it alone.

Advertiser reader Chad Soper recently sent us the above video of a blue-ringed octopus at North Haven Marina, which just goes to show that while they are not especially common in metropolitan waters, they most certainly are there.

media_camera Dangerous diver: The blue rings are pretty, but they signal lethal danger.

Speaking of water, that is of course where SA’s biggest bitey lurks.

The accepted science says the great white shark doesn’t naturally hunt humans and that most attacks are probably cases of mistaken identity (because to a shark, your silhouette just looks like a completely hopeless seal), but “oops, sorry” doesn’t help much if you’ve just been bitten in half.

Fishers sometimes get a close-up view of sharks attacking their natural prey when the two are competing for the same meal, and here’s what that looks like, in a video shot off Adelaide.

And that’s OK. You get a bit of excitement and while you might lose a fish, you keep all your limbs.

There are other times when white sharks and fishers just don’t get along, especially when the former tries to eat the latter’s boat. Ray Giullemi and his friend were fishing off Coffin Bay when a great white circled their vessel for half an hour and took a bite at the propeller. You may have heard the old story about how you scare off a shark by punching it on the snout, but Ray and his mate didn’t have to resort to violence. They just swore at the shark until it become offended and swam off.

We’re going to need a bigger boat We’re going to need a bigger boat

All jokes aside, great whites truly are magnificent creatures and while South Aussies fear and respect them, we’re pretty proud of them, too. And while shark stories supposedly frighten tourists away, we’ve successfully turned them into a visitor drawcard instead.

Here’s what happened when SA Weekend played tourist and went swimming with great whites off Port Lincoln.

Now, northerners might say something like well, your sea has bigger sharks than we’ve got, but you’ve got no crocs in the water - where’s your reptiles?

First of all, we do have one croc, sort of... CLICK HERE TO READ ABOUT IT. Secondly, check this out for an aquatic retile.

Lachlan Anning went fishing near Whyalla, but instead almost hooked himself a highly venomous western brown snake.

Snaking its way Snaking its way

Most snakes prefer dry land to water, but they can adapt to different environments. For instance, your car...

Jessie Grundy sent us a video of a red bellied-black snake that appeared on the bonnet of a car being driven from Adelaide to Mundoo Island Station.

Jessie took a video of the sickening experience, while her mum, Sally Grundy was forced to stay cool, calm and collected while she drove at 100km/h.

Mrs Grundy said that “my initial fright at that split second was I wasn’t sure whether he was inside the car or outside the car — that’s what the fright was”.

“The worst part was for the next hour that I had to drive, he kept disappearing”, she said.

“I got used to the fact that there was a snake in the car and preferred to see him than when he disappeared.”

Screen time for snake Screen time for snake

Those red-bellied blacks do pop up a lot in SA and while we’re often reminded that they’re not as deadly as brown snakes, you should try telling that to a brown snake.

Sean Shaw captured footage on his phone of a red-bellied black snake chasing down, catching and eating a brown snake on a dirt road near Myponga.

The red-bellied black, with a more-than-handy size advantage, clamps down on the smaller reptile, injecting its venom.

“After about a 20-minute tussle, the red-bellied black snake eventually was able to swallow the brown snake,” Sean said.

You are what you eat You are what you eat

At least it’s some comfort that if snakes are busy fighting each other, they’re not biting you.

In the video shot at McLaren Vale and posted by Instagram user @bubblenuts, two snakes can be seen rapidly twisting and flipping to overpower one another.

Dr Mark Hutchinson, Head of Research & Collections and Senior Researcher, Herpetology, at the South Australian Museum, confirmed the snakes in the footage were fighting, a behaviour often associated with competition for a mate.

“The repeated plaiting together and squeezing one another (which makes breathing difficult) followed by throwing themselves apart and then (after taking a few breaths) coiling again, is a pattern of behaviour seen in the males of most Australian snake species,” Dr Hutchinson said.

Battle of the oversexed Battle of the oversexed

Ever seen a baby snake hatch? Well, it’s a bit like those eggs in the Alien movies, except that the alien is just pretend and baby eastern brown snakes really can do you in. Snake experts say stories about baby snakes having deadlier venom than adults is a myth, but that doesn’t mean they are not lethal. Some juveniles, they say, can’t control the quantity of venom they inject, so a little bite can mean quite a lot of death.

The best way to watch baby snakes hatching is, again, a bit like how you watch an Alien movie - on video. Staff from Snake Catchers Adelaide filmed the moment a batch of eastern brown snakes started to hatch so that you don’t have to get that close.

Out and about Out and about

But don’t worry about the snakes. The spiders ate all the snakes

The video below wasn’t shot in South Australia, but we’ve included it because it’s from River Murray country near Swan Hill and we have both eastern brown snakes and redback spiders in abundance.

Yes, the mighty, bitey redback. Fortunately, the availability of antivenene in modern times means its bite need not be fatal, but that wouldn’t be the case if you were small enough to get trapped in its web.

That’s what happened to this young snake as it tried to make its way through a farm shed and, once ensnared, its superior size made no difference to the merciless arachnid.

Redback vs brown snake Redback vs brown snake

Unless you are also a venomous predator, biting snakes is no way to deal with them. Leave them alone if they’re in the wild and, if they’re anywhere near your home (and they probably are, you just don’t always see them) call a professional snake catcher.

Here’s some important info we published this summer: Five venomous species you should watch out for in SA

media_camera A jellyfish beached in Adelaide. Picture: Michelle Keast

And don’t forget there also are some not-so-deadly critters who can also cause you some pain, such as jellyfish. Some the size of dinner plates have in the past invaded West Lakes, stinging swimmers’ faces.

And we do have our own crocodile. It’s just that he’s very shy and has never hurt anyone.