BALTIMORE—According to a report published Tuesday by researchers at Johns Hopkins University, bananas remain the overwhelming fruit of choice among individuals pretending to receive a telephone call. “Our research found that when subjects simulate the act of answering a phone, the banana is their preferred fruit nearly 100 percent of the time,” said report co-author Martha Gross, who noted that when people seated near a basket of assorted fruit begin to mimic the sound of a ringing telephone, they almost invariably choose to raise a banana to their ear, eschewing all other fruits. “During our study, we never once observed anyone shouting ‘Hello?’ into an apple, pausing for several moments as if listening to the other end of a conversation while holding a peach to the side of their face, or slamming down a bunch of grapes while saying ‘Click!’ For the vast majority of people who hold imaginary phone calls on pieces of fruit, it’s either a banana or nothing.” The report went on to state that a pear remains the most popular fruit to say “Breaker, breaker!” into and then imitate the static of a CB radio.

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