Hey guys. I was writing up a piece about the use and purpose of corporations, but something landed on my desk that I’ll share instead. The fact of the matter is, despite my efforts to be civilized as possible, I still enjoy the hell out of having the hate gushing out of a victim’s torn jugular sprayed all over me, and I figured I’d share a quick story with some fairly good tears in it.

A good friend of mine had recently essentially stolen a corp. He was made director, stole everything not nailed down and awoxed everything that moved. He couldn’t steal the corp outright due to the way the shares were held, but the CEO hadn’t been on in a week, so he started to use it for reverse safaris. He had a target waiting that he wasn’t sure he’d be able to kill by himself, as he was still in a newbro cormorant, so I came along to provide some muscle and ride on his coattails.

We were chilling out in fleet chatting and waiting for the mark to come back from being AFK at the start of this log that I’ll let you enjoy.

[ 2013.04.09 03:23:47 ] Tali Androg > private chat, mark might show up soon

[ 2013.04.09 03:23:58 ] Psychotic Monk > k

[ 2013.04.09 03:27:38 ] Tali Androg > t minus 3 minutes

[ 2013.04.09 03:27:41 ] Tali Androg > say hi in corp

[ 2013.04.09 03:28:31 ] Larkin Adrasthay > 07

[ 2013.04.09 03:28:40 ] Tali Androg > o7 m8

[ 2013.04.09 03:28:55 ] Tali Androg > warp to us and we can get going, we are at the gate

[ 2013.04.09 03:30:21 ] Tali Androg > buddy, you there?

[ 2013.04.09 03:30:44 ] Larkin Adrasthay > yeah i had docked to accept which i didnt need to apparently

[ 2013.04.09 03:30:49 ] Larkin Adrasthay > comin out of warp

[ 2013.04.09 03:32:07 ] Tali Androg > you can either pay us 250 mil not to kill you, or ject from your shit and we wont pod you

[ 2013.04.09 03:32:15 ] Psychotic Monk > Hi!

[ 2013.04.09 03:34:11 ] Tali Androg > larkin buddy

[ 2013.04.09 03:34:15 ] Tali Androg > im gonna need youto respond here

[ 2013.04.09 03:34:20 ] Tali Androg > i dont want to kill you

[ 2013.04.09 03:34:22 ] Tali Androg > but i will

[ 2013.04.09 03:34:23 ] Psychotic Monk > I do.

[ 2013.04.09 03:34:36 ] Tali Androg > monk is a different story

[ 2013.04.09 03:34:49 ] Larkin Adrasthay > i dont have 250 mil on this toon so

[ 2013.04.09 03:34:53 ] Tali Androg > We MAY let you get away scot free if you vote for my pal Psychotic Monk for csm

[ 2013.04.09 03:34:58 ] Tali Androg > Where do you have the 250 ?

[ 2013.04.09 03:35:08 ] Larkin Adrasthay > i dont have it its in assets

[ 2013.04.09 03:35:14 ] Tali Androg > contract them to me

[ 2013.04.09 03:35:22 ] Larkin Adrasthay > theyre in 0.0

[ 2013.04.09 03:35:31 ] Tali Androg > or eject from your ship and you wont get podded

[ 2013.04.09 03:35:32 ] Psychotic Monk > That does us no good, then.

[ 2013.04.09 03:35:47 ] Tali Androg > which is more valuable to you

[ 2013.04.09 03:35:50 ] Tali Androg > the ship or the pod

[ 2013.04.09 03:35:54 ] Larkin Adrasthay > 100 mil is all i have

[ 2013.04.09 03:36:00 ] Tali Androg > or MAYBE you have forgot to upgrade the clone?

[ 2013.04.09 03:36:16 ] Tali Androg > got an up to date clone there?

[ 2013.04.09 03:36:48 ] Tali Androg > 100m will suffice larkin

[ 2013.04.09 03:37:03 ] Larkin Adrasthay > youll blow up the ship anyway

[ 2013.04.09 03:37:19 ] Psychotic Monk > If we did it’d ruin our rep and we wouldn’t get ransoms anymore.

[ 2013.04.09 03:37:23 ] Tali Androg > you have our word as honorable pirates

[ 2013.04.09 03:38:03 ] Tali Androg > better act quick

[ 2013.04.09 03:38:17 ] Psychotic Monk > http://community.eveonline.com/community/csm/vote/

[ 2013.04.09 03:38:22 ] Psychotic Monk > Or you can vote for me for CSM.

[ 2013.04.09 03:38:28 ] Larkin Adrasthay > ill vote for you

[ 2013.04.09 03:38:40 ] Psychotic Monk > I’ll need a screenshot of the voting complete screen after.

[ 2013.04.09 03:38:49 ] Larkin Adrasthay > or convince me you wont blow the raven after i give u the 100m

[ 2013.04.09 03:38:57 ] Larkin Adrasthay > ok

[ 2013.04.09 03:39:00 ] Tali Androg > you may as well just vote

[ 2013.04.09 03:39:08 ] Larkin Adrasthay > i will

[ 2013.04.09 03:39:17 ] Larkin Adrasthay > darn thugs 😉

[ 2013.04.09 03:39:37 ] Psychotic Monk > We already told you we won’t kill your boat after. We wouldn’t get future ransoms if we did.

[ 2013.04.09 03:39:58 ] Tali Androg > our rep would be ruined

[ 2013.04.09 03:40:09 ] Larkin Adrasthay > if you dont blow it you’ll get 2 votes

[ 2013.04.09 03:40:16 ] Larkin Adrasthay > one from my acccount in whyso

[ 2013.04.09 03:40:52 ] Tali Androg > the only scenario in which we dont blow up your ship is 1. you eject and fly away in pod 2. you pay us 100m

[ 2013.04.09 03:41:09 ] Psychotic Monk > 3. Vote for me.

[ 2013.04.09 03:41:19 ] Tali Androg > ^

[ 2013.04.09 03:42:10 ] Larkin Adrasthay > what proof do you want? a screenshot on vote screen?

[ 2013.04.09 03:42:25 ] Tali Androg > thats good

[ 2013.04.09 03:42:33 ] Psychotic Monk > It gives you a ‘successfully voted’ screen.

[ 2013.04.09 03:42:38 ] Psychotic Monk > I want a cap of that.

[ 2013.04.09 03:43:03 ] Larkin Adrasthay > lemme upload it

[ 2013.04.09 03:43:04 ] Larkin Adrasthay > sec

[ 2013.04.09 03:43:11 ] Tali Androg > imgur

[ 2013.04.09 03:43:15 ] Tali Androg > no photobucket bullshit

[ 2013.04.09 03:46:26 ] Larkin Adrasthay > http://i.imgur.com/6e7QROR.jpg

[ 2013.04.09 03:46:42 ] Larkin Adrasthay > the submitted screen doesnt show who you voted for but i will link that too

[ 2013.04.09 03:47:00 ] Psychotic Monk > Please do.

[ 2013.04.09 03:48:27 ] Larkin Adrasthay > http://i.imgur.com/UL0yaB4.jpg

[ 2013.04.09 03:48:54 ] Psychotic Monk > Wonderful. I’m satisfied. Tali, you happy?

[ 2013.04.09 03:49:08 ] Tali Androg > i reallly really really would like 100m or an eject from the raven

[ 2013.04.09 03:49:14 ] Psychotic Monk > Fair enough.

[ 2013.04.09 03:49:36 ] Tali Androg > larkin? any objections?

[ 2013.04.09 03:49:39 ] Larkin Adrasthay > those weren’t the terms

[ 2013.04.09 03:49:52 ] Tali Androg > the terms have changed

[ 2013.04.09 03:50:35 ] Tali Androg > ill keep shooting till you die unless my wallet flashes with 100m, or you eject

[ 2013.04.09 03:50:43 ] Tali Androg > there is no countdown

[ 2013.04.09 03:50:46 ] Tali Androg > when you die thats the end

[ 2013.04.09 03:50:46 ] Larkin Adrasthay > ill give u whats on this character right now. 46 mil. that is a good bounty for some pirates.. i dont have the time for anything else

[ 2013.04.09 03:50:52 ] Tali Androg > okay thats fine

[ 2013.04.09 03:50:58 ] Tali Androg > wont stop shooting till then

[ 2013.04.09 03:51:03 ] Larkin Adrasthay > to who?

[ 2013.04.09 03:51:07 ] Tali Androg > me

[ 2013.04.09 03:51:38 ] Larkin Adrasthay > now disengage

[ 2013.04.09 03:51:41 ] Tali Androg > okay monk, blap him

[ 2013.04.09 03:51:53 ] Psychotic Monk > Get ready for the pod.

[ 2013.04.09 03:52:06 ] Larkin Adrasthay > i dont think so

[ 2013.04.09 03:52:21 ] Tali Androg > Good doing business with you

[ 2013.04.09 03:52:28 ] Larkin Adrasthay > watch your back

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=19311772

So I got a vote (maybe, there’s no way to be sure who he voted for) and my newbro friend got 46m, which should keep him in destroyers for a little while at least. And, to top it off, we got some vague threats!

He left fleet at that point, but we continued the conversation in corp chat, wondering a bit about that threat.

[ 2013.04.09 03:54:20 ] Larkin Adrasthay > tali pretty new character

[ 2013.04.09 03:54:23 ] Larkin Adrasthay > id watch out bro

[ 2013.04.09 03:54:39 ] Tali Androg > dont forget

[ 2013.04.09 03:54:44 ] Tali Androg > Monk for CSM

[ 2013.04.09 03:54:46 ] Tali Androg > and why watch out

[ 2013.04.09 03:54:48 ] Tali Androg > ?

[ 2013.04.09 03:55:12 ] Psychotic Monk > Yeah, why would we watch out? Are you going to… do… something?

[ 2013.04.09 03:58:45 ] Larkin Adrasthay > so your killboard must look awesome with a bunch of your own corpmates on it

[ 2013.04.09 03:59:25 ] Psychotic Monk > I guess. I’m not really super concerned about such e-honour bullshit.

[ 2013.04.09 03:59:38 ] Larkin Adrasthay > ah forgot… you’re not honorable are you

[ 2013.04.09 03:59:49 ] Psychotic Monk > Not in Eve Online I’m not.

[ 2013.04.09 04:01:03 ] Larkin Adrasthay > bro.. you’re nothing special or even any good.. ive flown with so much better and more competent than you.. so have a nice day… it was an obsolete raven anyways

Evidently he didn’t want that Raven in the first place. I really wish people would just give me any ships they didn’t want. I’d be sure to find a use for them. I also got to learn about how I was incompetent, which is always nice for me.

We gave him a role in case we got a chance of a repeat performance and called it a night. This afternoon I checked my mail to find the following in my inbox:

edit: I can’t seem to make this a reasonable size. I could probably google it, but I’m lazy. Click it, it’s good.