Tree hugging hippie ties himself to a tree in a failed attempt to save nature and stop the progress of humanity over coming nature. The lumber jacks cutting down the trees just wanted some wood but the hippie wouldn’t give it to them. The tree hugging hippie, from Berkeley, California, used steel chains and steel braces to lock his limbs to the tree trunk, eliminating the freedom of mobility to himself and the tree. He willingly trapped himself to a tree and wasn’t going anywhere. It was a boring 13 hours of arguing with the chained hippie who kept babbling about corporations being evil and cruelty towards the defenseless plants. Neither side was budging or reaching any sort of compromise. Or at least that was the case until a big grizzly bear came by and gave his 2 sense worth. At first the grizzly seemed only interested in the picnic baskets, but it was soon apparent that the bear was more interested in honey that the lumber workers had poured around the chained tree and tree hugger. When asked later why the lumber workers poured honey around the tree they explained that they “use honey to mark trees protesters are chained to so as to not to cut them down. Because cutting them down while someone alive is attached could carry some law suits with it. Who knew bears really like honey? How ’bout that?” When asked if they’ll stop using honey as a method to mark trees protesters are chained to they seem to only be able to reply with “habla espanol?”. Needless to say the bear really liked honey, as well at the tree hugger. In a matter of seconds the bear mauled the man into pieces and then left the scene just as fast. The bear left the lumber crew in peace and the picnic baskets untouched. We attempted to contact the bear, but he could not be reached for comment. The lumber crew said a few prayers and went straight back to work. It was a long day after all. Their shifts were suppose to be only 10 hours but turned in to 14 to 15 and they wanted to go home already. The bear did most of the clean up but some blood traces and human bits remain on the wooden logs. Man tried to preserve nature but nature wanted him dead. Now he is part of firewood and one with nature. And will burn for it.

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