I owe this post to you, who have been following this little project for the past 3 years. I owe this to myself because I am living proof that I might be considered a statistic, but I’ve been able to go beyond statistics and that is amazing, to say the least. As the graduation from my Master’s program is very much approaching (right now, we’re a little over a month away), one of the things that I always wanted to do, but in reality didn’t end up doing much, was providing and sharing stories about what I went through while studying abroad and give some context to my entire experience.

Throughout my journey at Western Michigan, I have had the opportunity to learn so many new things, and among the many things I learned here, I allowed myself to explore and approach a way of being and living where I could be the truest version of myself as possible. And here is how I am here, beating the odds and getting through the end of Grad school.

For me, coming to the United States for my Master’s program was one of the best and toughest decisions I had to make in my entire life. The best in the aspect that Michigan, my adopted home for the past 2 years (almost!), has helped me get to know myself in a much deeper level. Here I have learned what resilience and bravery truly means. Also, I’ve found a home far away from home. I had no idea, a university as big as Western would ever feel like home. I’m deeply thankful and grateful for being lucky enough to study here, 2 years of school feel really, really, really short, but hey, that’s how Graduate school works.

Now, let’s talk about some statistics, shall we?

Source: PNPI

Impressive, right? We can definitely say so. And these are just general overview type of statistics when it comes to LGBTQ students in higher education. Throughout my different experiences here at Western Michigan, one that I remember well was a panel about intersectionality I attended during my first semester (Fall 2017, hello! it feels like a long time ago) and I followed it by attending a similar workshop on the following semester.

Even though I haven’t spoken fondly about statistics thus far, but further ahead in this piece, I will, and I will use myself as an example of how I “beat the odds”. The main purpose behind all of this is to generate and start a conversation about how difficult life can be for college-aged students, not only in the U.S. but also all over the world.

The talk and the workshop mentioned previously, did help me understand something very clear: the ways we decide to identify ourselves, contribute to the way we see things and the way we live, however, these do not entirely define us as individuals. Other elements such as our socio-economic background, our upbringing, and our life experiences, also help in that process as well. Honestly, I can clearly identify 4 different labels that are the best possible ways to describe myself as a person. And definitely, I have accepted the fact that in the end, the way we see ourselves and the way we identify ourselves, can definitely help you get through just by taking pride on who we are as individuals and what makes us unique from everyone else.

Before I go ahead and talk in depth about my experiences, let’s start by defining what is intersectionality. As defined on Merriam-Webster, is the complex, cumulative way in which the effects of multiple forms of discrimination (such as racism, sexism, and classism) combine, overlap, or intersect especially in the experiences of marginalized individuals or groups.

Now that we have a definition, let me start sharing my story and what I have to say.

LGBTQ+

The way I approach my sexual orientation is by admitting the fact that I am a cisgender gay male. Also, I usually feel like the token gay friend in most circles of friends that I am part of. Now, have I ever felt that being gay has stopped me from doing things? Not really. Have I ever been a victim of bullying for the way I identify my sexuality? Yes, heck yes. Many of you have no idea!

Growing up in the Caribbean has definitely been a rollercoaster ride. My sexual identity has not impacted my academics that much, being fully honest. And honestly, coming to Michigan has been the best thing that has ever happened to me, as I have been able to find refuge from that painful double-life I had back home (and to which I’m certainly returning in a few months time).

You’re attending or are about to start attending college right now or in the near future, identify as LGBTQ+ and don’t feel comfortable at home anymore? I strongly encourage you to choose a university with an LGBT Student Services department, and that also has gender-neutral housing available. I had no idea that coming to Western I would find these resources available that could definitely help in the process of adjusting to your new life.

Definitely for me, being a queer-friendly campus is a plus. Please do your research before choosing a place to study.

I still have struggles with this part of my identity, don’t get me wrong. I’m still learning how to love myself, take proper care of myself, and enjoy my life as who I am.

Contributing to experiences such as Kalamazoo Pride last summer, or attending several other LGBTQ+ themed activities has made me feel much more comfortable about myself and my sexual orientation. Trust me on this, though, if you find a group of folks that help you build a home far away from home, you will have certainly picked the right place to be.

Dominican

Oh, honey. There’s no way possible that my nationality can be left out of the picture. Even though, I tell people the following: my country is amazing and very beautiful, BUT please be extremely careful when you’re around there, criminality is real down there. I tend to be very blunt and honest about it. Won’t deny it, won’t sugarcoat it. Point, blank and period.

However, growing up on the island has definitely helped shape the way I see things and on some occasions, the way I live. As it is believed, when you grow up on an island, people usually have a more narrow-minded view about life in general and always look for the simpler side of things. And then, you have me, a millennial twenty-something, from the capital of an island nation, who is really looking out for the opportunity of a lifetime.

Being Dominican will always be within me. It’s on my DNA, my culture is beautiful, my people are amazing but we have a LOT of things to fight and conquer before we can secure a better future for our society.

Catholic

This may sound weird for some of you, to me it doesn’t, but from many people how can you be gay and believe in God, in this case, Jesus? Well… there’s me.

I won’t delve much into specifics, but I still do identify as Catholic. Honestly speaking, I’m not the most regular practitioner of Catholic traditions and rituals, as in the past few years, as I have started to approach adulthood, I have chosen to have a more private relationship between me and God.

I do my prayers here and then, go to church a couple of times a year, and so on.

In some moments where I fall into the deep, I do pray to feel better. In some occasions, it works, in some others not so much. But, that was my upbringing, and I don’t have that much resentment or “beef” with the Catholic Church per se. However, it really annoys me the fact that they approach gay people as the most sinful people there is.

Also, the reputation the Catholic Church has built itself in recent decades in the Dominican Republic does not help whatsoever. The top people of the church are buddy buddies with the DR’s worse of the worse when it comes to society, and you better know which folks I’m talking about.

For the time being, I still have my mixed feelings about religion in general. But I still believe.

Immigrant

In my current situation in the United States, this label matches my life perfectly. As an adult, I have always supported immigration, most of my family, on my paternal side, resides on the East Coast. For me, as long as you do it legally, and you look for all means necessary to stay legal, then fine.

I am very thankful to God and the universe that my experience in the United States has been free of racist incidents against me. For real, I am very thankful for this.

My days in this country are anything but numbered. My stay has an expiration date. I’ve always been aware of that and this has caused me to feel anxious and on the edge several times over the past 19 months.

There have been moments where I have felt very homesick, and it really does take a toll on me. Because of that anxiety and the occasional depression sometimes being away from home may hit hard.

It has happened to me quite a few times while being here and it does hit hard. I have this little thing within me, where even though I’m feeling terrible I do give my all to get things done. But, that does not mean that I don’t feel extremely unwell, with no energy and really just not into doing much stuff. I have ended up doing some of my major projects, like right last minute because of this.

Being an immigrant in today’s America is nothing but easy. Again, I am a very lucky person to not have faced the discrimination people like me can face out there and that in some cases it can go viral, be all over the internet, and remember an experience you really want to erase from your memory.

Now, what do you pretend with all of this?

Very simple. I’m sharing my story and experiences in order to start generating conversations about modern college life here in the United States.

I honestly want to have interactions about these and other experiences you or some of your friends may have had.

Final Remarks

Honestly, I have learned, the hard way, that I have all of what it takes to succeed. Seriously, you have it in yourself as well. I can openly say that I can be my own worst enemy, that I am as imperfect as anyone can be, but I also try to pull it off and not give up.

This leads me to talk about mental health, which is another big issue that affects our community. Many of us come from homes where being the truest version of ourselves would mean the worst news to our parents, and we are subject to face rejection plus a lot of hate and negativity from a society that is in some places looking out for us and our well being, while in some others, they need us gone immediately.

My advice to you is to look out there and find your family away from home if you need to. College can be the experience and adventure of a lifetime, that can help you discover a lot of things about yourself. I have learned a lot about myself during the nearly 2 years that I have spent in the United States, away from my mom, my dad, and my closest circle of friends.

Please stay strong. Please be resilient. Please be who you are.

Don’t let anything or anyone stop you from achieving what you want in life.

Also, don’t give up on your education. Please, don’t. It can help you find opportunities you may not have access it if you don’t have it. Seriously, don’t give up. You can do it, and you can get through this.

In the end, I live every day working on loving who I am, embracing my multiple identities and now that I’m about to end my academic journey in the United States (for now), I will do my best to not give up on my future and if you have read this entire piece, I hope you do the same.

Love who you are, embrace those distinct traits that make you who you are and make sure to enjoy the ride as much as you can!

Until next time,

Augusto.-