Beto O'Rourke, the pride of one-third of El Paso, has announced he's going to run for President. Beto O'Rourke officially put his hat in the race for 2020 earlier today when he formally announced his bid for President of the United States of America on social media,

Beto said, "Amy and I are happy to share with you that I’m running to serve you as the next president of the United States of America. This is a defining moment of truth for this country and for every single one of us. The challenges we face right now, the interconnected crises in our democracy and our climate, have never been greater."

Wow, what a giant load of BS. This is the same guy who told reporters over and over again that he'd never run for POTUS back in 2018 when he was losing to Ted Cruz.

Okay, fine, he flip-flopped on not running in 2020. We all saw this coming. He basically fooled no one. It's not even the first time he's flip-flopped on something (more on that in a bit). But let's go ahead and address the giant cracker-faced elephant in the room...

Beto O'Rourke will never be President. Not in 2020, not in 2024. Not ever.

The man claims he's running for President, but he's really running for Vice President. He's not going to be nominated. At best he'll be someone's running mate.

I'm sure any Leftists or liberals who are reading this right now are adamantly disagreeing with me in their empty little skulls. They can't believe I'd say such a thing. Since the kind of people who probably don't agree with me on Beto never being POTUS are probably also regular readers of news stories on websites like BuzzFeed.com, I've put together this helpful list to walk you through a heavy dose of common sense. Leftists love lists, after all.

Here we go...

Reason #1: Let's start with the obvious - Beto is a wealthy, white, unemployed, son-of-a-Texas-judge, riches-to-riches, cis-gendered, hetero-normative patriarch. On the intersectionality chart, he scores a negative five. He's not a minority, a gay person, a woman or someone with an obvious disability. He doesn't have the proper origin story for a progressive revolution. Sure, the media loves him; they're all rich and white and privileged too. But the far-left win of the Democrat party won't vote for Beto in the primaries. They may have wanted him to beat Ted Cruz, but they definitely don't want him to beat Kamala Harris or Corey Booker.

Reason #2: Beto's biggest accomplishment is losing. He lost to Ted Cruz and he never accomplished anything when he was a Congressman. He's the Cleveland Browns of the Democrat party.

Reason #3: Beto previously supported a mandatory military draft for young people. He wanted all the young pot-smoking, skateboarding, Whataburger-eating college kids in America to serve our nation's military. This was a fairly recent position of his. On January 5th 2018 he told KSAT-TV he thinks a mandatory draft will help get young people to care more about our nation's foreign policy. Progressives hated it. By the next day he did a complete flip-flop and changed his stance after receiving a huge amount of resistance from the Left. He changed his whole position in less than 24 hours to make people like him. Imagine what else he's willing to flip on.

Reason#4: Back in 2006, early in his political career, Beto found himself with a big, giant, figurative-egg on his face when he was essentially accused of participating in sketchy shenanigans with a real estate development group that's local to El Paso (and also happens to be ran by one of his family members - can you say "nepotism"? You can? I knew you could).

A little over a decade ago Beto had just been elected to El Paso City Council when suddenly people started noticing a strange relationship between him and some local businessmen. An El Paso Leftist-activist named Carmen Felix initiated a recall petition against Beto after learning about details of a peculiar downtown development project that seemed to have a connection to Councilman O’Rourke. The activist and many reasonable folks from El Paso were outraged to learn Beto was quietly supporting and leading efforts on the development project to line his own pockets at the expense of local El Pasoans.

Please allow me to break down what allegedly happened in the simplest terms: among his list of disgraceful big-government political positions, Beto supports a government policy called eminent domain [government seizure of private property] and many Texas residents [from both parties] are strongly opposed to this law. In case you're unaware, eminent domain is legalized theft. It's an action taken by the government to seize someone's property for the so-called good of the general public [as if taking someone's property was somehow good for the community]. Sometimes eminent domain laws are invoked to build highways, pipelines or even parking garages. Suffice to say, eminent domain laws have a history of being misused and abused by corrupt politicians. The problem with eminent domain is that very often the property being seized by the government was previously someone's house or place of business, and those people don't always want to hand over their homes to the State [would you?]. If you're a fan of individual rights and liberties, eminent domain is not your friend and neither is Beto.

After the petition against Beto started to circulate, he did an about-face and publicly claimed to completely change his tone on the idea of seizing a law abiding citizen's property for a real estate development project. On the surface Beto acted like he wised up, but in reality the controversy continued.

In September of 2006 a group called the Land Grab Opponents of El Paso filed an ethics complaint against O'Rourke and the Paso del Norte Group, a company who was working with Beto on the development project. The projected reeked of corruption. It was revealed that O'Rourke's own company, Stanton Street Technology Group, was providing services to the Paso del Norte Group [where O'Rourke's father-in-law just so happened to hold a high ranking position]. His father-in-law, his own company and his political allies were all benefiting from this deal. In case you're not catching what I'm putting down here, that's a textbook case of cronyism wrapped up in a nepotism sandwich. Beto allegedly used his political influence as an elected official to try to cut a profit for his own company and another company headed by his wife's father. The people of El Paso didn't like this news and neither should you if you're considering the possibility of Beto being your President.

Reason #5: Much like Julian Castro, Wendy Davis and Bill White, the mainstream media and the coastal elitists are calling Beto a "rising star" in the Texas Democrat Party. In fact, this is how I knew Beto O'Rourke would never beat Ted Cruz in his own state (and also why I know he won't be POTUS): what these East-Coast-West-Coast-hacks fail to realize is that whenever the mainstream media refers to a Texas Democrat as a "rising star" that's typically the last time anyone ever talks about or hears from that candidate in a positive manner for the rest of their career. If you're a Democrat from Texas, the last thing you want to be called is a "rising star" by national media outlets because that title is usually followed by decades of political-obscurity. Remember "rising star" Wendy Davis? She's currently walking those cool pink sneakers to the unemployment line. Hopefully she remembers to wear her filibuster-diaper! Or what about Julian Castro? He was a "rising star" too! Then he mishandled $520 billion dollars at the department of Housing & Urban Development. Yikes! That's a New-York-sized bureaucratic “mistake” if I've ever heard one. And now Castro's being forgotten faster than snap bracelets and JNCO Jeans [remember JNCO Jeans? No? Me neither]. And don't forget ol' Chris Bell [you already have], the "Rising star" who was supposed to beat Rick Perry in the 2006 Texas gubernatorial election. Then he lost by double digits. Now, in 2017, Chris Bell is so unrecognizable he might as well apply for a job as an agent at the CIA.

Reason #6: In the 1990s Beto was arrested for a DWI and burglary. I placed this lower on the list because a lot of Democrats don't mind voting for criminals. He also recently lied about trying to flee the scene of his DWI but even the Washington Post and Politifact have stated that evidence suggests otherwise. He's a liar. The pants-on-fire kind.

Reason #7: Beto claims to be a skater, but I've never actually seen him do a trick, have you? Is there a video anywhere of Beto successfully executing a 360-kick-flip-crooked-grind, backside-tail-slide, or even the basic run-of-the-mill ollie? I've never witnessed him perform any tricks, thus making him a fake skater. Anyone can buy a skateboard but actually riding it is something totally different. He's a poser.

Reason #8: And last, but certainly not least, there's really nothing unique about Beto. The media compares him to the Kennedys for a reason: he might be charismatic, but he's the same-old same-old when it comes to rich white Democrat lawmakers. His dad was a judge and that's the only reason he's even in politics.

So there ya have it. The darling of the media is a rich, white, land-grabbing, flip-flopping, mandatory-military-drafting, election-losing, privileged, heteronormative, skateboard riding loser who won't impress the far-left enough to cinch the nomination. Enjoy watching him fail.