In the most bizarre news of the day, Bloomberg's Hugh Son noticed that in a late Thursday filing, the board of JPMorgan approved a series of revisions to the bank's by-laws, including a particularly notable one: a new section defining what constitutes a quorum in an emergency resulting from "an attack on the United States" or a “nuclear or atomic disaster.” That scenario is listed among emergencies that - understandably - might make it hard to hold a normal meeting for board members of America's largest bank.

The clause can be activated not just in case of a nuclear disaster or World War III, but also in a variety of situations including "without limitation apparent terrorist activity or the imminent threat of such activity, chemical and biological attacks, natural disasters, or other hazards or causes commonly known as acts of God."

In short, JPMorgan's Board has decided it is time to seriously consider a TEOTWAWKI scenario.

As Son notes, in such an event, any member of the board or the firm’s operating committee can call a meeting using “any available means of communication.” And, just in case everyone else on the Board happens to die, one person will be sufficient to constitute a quorum. Vacancies can be filled by a majority vote of available directors. And if none are around, then designated officers can stand in. No officer, director or employee can be held liable in such a situation, except for “willful misconduct.”

The revised Emergency By-Laws are reposted below (highlights ours):