[Check out our updated game for the 2017-18 season here!]

The National Hockey League is back for another unspeakably long and stressful season, and we here at Loose Cannons personally cannot wait to get blackout drunk at least once or twice because of our favourite team.

To facilitate that level of intoxication we’ve taken the liberty of compiling a drinking game, although we recommend you pick and choose which rules to follow depending on just how much cirrhosis you’re aiming for this year!

Take a drink:

Every time the cannon sounds.

If Wenny shoots at least once in a game.

Every time Cam doesn’t convert on a breakaway.

Every time Matt Calvert gets a breakaway. If he actually scores, finish your drink.

Every time Jody Shelley uses ‘Big’ as the only adjective to describe a player. If it’s about Dalton Prout, finish your drink.

Whenever Bob makes a truly bananas save (drinking doesn’t have to only reinforce negative behaviour!!).

Every time the team fails to get a shot on goal during a power play.

Every time there’s a shot of Torts looking positive about life.

When the Jackets take a penalty. Two drinks if it’s Wennberg, Karlsson or Bjorkstrand. … You don’t have to drink for Hartnell. No one will judge you.



Take two drinks:

Every time Rimer mispronounces someone’s name.

If the Jackets allow a goal less than 90 seconds after scoring.

If someone mentions last season. You lived that shit, you shouldn’t have to remember it.

If a fight breaks out! Only one drink if it’s Campbell though. No need to get too excited. The dangers of writing a list weeks in advance: the organisation makes unexpectedly good decisions and sends down one of the players you made into a joke! Damn, Jarmo. Well played.



Finish your drink:

If we lose a coach’s challenge.

If we win a coach’s challenge. Hell, when there’s a coach’s challenge, just chug. It might help you understand what the officials are thinking.

When the game finally, finally ends! Congratulations, you and your liver have survived another day of Blue Jackets Hockey.

CHUG CHUG CHUG:

If Rimer ever mixes up a player on the ice with a player who is, just for example, actually on LTIR and hasn’t played in several weeks. We wrote this one before Clarkson actually went on IR. Could still happen though! That’s just our JRimes.

If you’re watching the opposing team’s broadcast and they insult the Jackets. If you’re watching the opposing team’s broadcast and they DON’T insult the Jackets (this is more of an ongoing challenge to Root Sports).

If Lucic and Prout get into it again. If it’s another knockout, consider spending your beer money on a Prouter shirt.



And of course we’d appreciate any suggestions for new rules, this is just a framework for more fun and alcohol in the future.

Enjoy! (Drink responsibly.)

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