While fans of sports entertainment rejoiced at Roman Reigns’ emotional statement on WWE Raw this week that his leukemia is in remission, the “real story is that Roman’s so-called cancer is just scripted work,” according to a report published today by a nitwit on the internet.

“This whole thing was a cheap ploy to give Roman some babyface shine,” wrote self-described wrestling journalist OmegaStyles_69 on his blog, WrestleTruth.wordpress.com.

“Roman needed time off to make a movie so they pertended (sic) he had loukemia (sic).”

The news came as a shock to all 17 readers of the blog, some of whom responded with comments ranging from “omg lol” to “wtf is this ture (sic).”

These allegations, if true — which they are clearly not — could cause a serious scandal for WWE, which they won’t because the allegations are preposterous, if for no other reasons than WWE’s longstanding partnership with the Susan G. Komen Foundation and its leadership of Connor’s Cure. But there are so many other reasons. So many.

Granted, while WWE does have a history of turning real-life misfortunes into storylines of dubious taste (RIP Katie Vick), the mere notion that WWE would fabricate a cancer scare flies in the face of all logic — even more so than all its other storylines.

OmegaStyles_69 claims in his self-described “expose” that his reporting is backed up by “reliable sources,” though a search of his blog reveals he uses that phrase in every article he posts, including the 17 times he has erroneously reported “CM Punk return confirmed.”