At least they're easy to laugh at, and you never know, Vince Cable might be plotting something

1 They're very fond of animals. Dead or alive.

2 Etona will continue to floreat.

3 They like the countryside. Especially "No trespassing" signs.

4 Only one of them is George Osborne.

5 George Osborne could fall under a truck tomorrow.

6 Vince Cable might push him.

7 They have given us a straightforward chromatic guide to the mood of the nation – blue for depression, with a touch of yellow for the queasiness left by Lib Dem betrayal.

8 They are easy to laugh at. And you are a better person for laughing at them. Laughing at Gordon Brown always felt wrong. It made you as unhappy as he is. Was. Is.

9 They are statistically more likely to be good jam-makers.

10 They will be able to put you in touch with a good farrier.

11 Apart from historical willingness to asset-strip the country and demoralise its workforce, which is quite rude, they have good manners.

12 They are good at Latin and will help you translate legal and other tags. And then you can take "nolites te bastardes carborundorum" as your motto for the next five months/years.

13 They have yet to invade Iraq or Afghanistan. Or provide a coherent plan to get us out, of course, but really, if you're going to nitpick like that, we're going to be here a long time.

14 That the worst has happened always brings its own relief.

15 They have great names – Annunziata Rees-Mogg, for example, is both unique and a powerful warning.

16 They look after their own. It's a dubious good, and you have to be a Tory for it to be a good, but these are challenging times and we take our pleasures where we can.

17 Um . . .

18 No.

19 That's it.