Warren, Sanders Settle Campaign Dispute By Playing Chicken On Mobility Scooters

U.S.—Tensions between the Bernie Sanders and Elizabeth Warren campaigns continue to grow, with new attacks emerging each day. In fact, Sanders and Warren have gotten so angry with each other that they’ve decided to engage in a dangerous game of chicken on their mobility scooters.

“Attack me as anti-feminist!” Sanders shouted as he revved his little scooter. “I’ll show you, toots!”

“My butler informed me you called me elitist!” yelled Warren from her blue high-end scooter. “I’m going to toss you in the trash like day-old caviar!”

Mobility scooters can reach speeds of up to 5mph, and a collision at that speed could break all their feeble old-people bones. Also, if they wrecked their scooters, they would be forced to walk around, and then they’d need even more naps on the campaign trail.

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