“Fat boy waiting to burst out” and “cookie monster” are just two among other beloved nicknames that I have been called, which I’ve undoubtedly earned thanks to my propensity to binge-eat, especially when it comes to junk food. If this was a real sport I’m pretty sure I’d rank within the top 5% percentile. And no..it’s not something I’m proud of.

Which is why recently I decided to go on a mini experiment and see how long I can go without food while going about my daily routine. I was curious about how it would impact my performance both my cognitive and physical performance.

While the experiment will not win me any awards for scientific rigor anytime soon, it did give me some interesting insights pertaining to my body and psyche.

“Okay. But why the hell did I really do it?”

3 reasons that made me “starve” myself for fun

This is not a post about how long I can fast, because 132 hours is really not that long. As much as I’m a self-improvement nut, big changes in our lives are usually preceded by compelling reasons to do so. I’ve been wanting to do this experiment for a while but 3 specific events happened that led me to pull the trigger.

1. Depression made me do it. Start with fire, right? Before the experiment I was going through the worst depressive episode I have ever experienced, which was triggered by an incident that tipped me over the edge at a time when I was already juggling a few fire pois in my life. Luckily, I like getting burned. Metaphorically I mean. I believe that some of the most valuable lessons in life are found within adversity. You can always spot a silver lining in every unfavorable scenario if you just look at it from the right angle.

My approach to dealing with adversity is perhaps a little unorthodox — I like to double down and lean into the pain. Why? This may seem counterintuitive but in my experience, I’ve found that it’s possible to reframe and associate the negative emotional states of suffering and pain, be it mental or physical, with the positive emotional states from positive suffering and pain. Which reminds me of an old chinese idiom that translates into combat poison with poison “以毒攻毒.” Specifically, I do this by trying something new and challenging, often effortful and somewhat unpleasant, but ultimately rewarding when completed.

Why?

Much of the ailments we suffer in life, whether it’s depression or anxiety, tend to be abstract and hard to quantify, which in turn makes them hard to handle — how do you fight what you cannot see or touch?

Conquering challenges which are specific and measurable — in this case the fasting experiment for me- not only serve as a timely distraction, but when done successfully they can signal the turn of the tide, lift you out of whatever rut you’re in, and herald in a new phase of life. This was my banker bet.

2. I haven’t felt real hunger in years. Yeah..I know. Ridiculous but true. Seriously, when was the last time you felt actual hunger? You know that unmistakable aching discomfort you get when you overeat? I’m talking about its opposite. No, cravings don’t count. All of places, this epiphany struck when I was standing in the buffet line (of course) at a silent meditation retreat a few months ago, waiting my turn for my 3rd pass.

“When was the last time I felt the physical sensation of actual hunger?”

“5 years? 10 years?”

I was stumped. How scary is that? Apparently it was scary enough for me to start eating mindfully with a teaspoon for the rest of the retreat…

Upon deep reflection, I realized that my eating patterns have been entirely geared around habits, and I’ve mostly only been eating due to automatic conditioning.

Around the same time I was also toying with the idea of trying out the Ketogenic diet (HT Tim Ferris’s excellent podcast ), and having watched the documentary “Meru” and read the book “Deep Survival” where in both cases there were plenty of stories where people survived for days and on, with very little to no food, really got me to thinking about how our body is built to go without food for a decent amount of time.

Am I a survivor? Or am I that guy who eats all the rations when everyone is sleeping? I needed to know.

Tragic but true

3. Not super fat but super fed. Alright, let me level with you. In a minute you’re going to see my picture and you’ll think that I’m garbage for having the audacity to say this. With hand to heart, this is a big problem in my life. Some of my most self-defeating moments include me getting dressed at 3AM in the dead of winter nights and hauling myself to 7–11 stores a good 10 minutes away and coming back with a tub of Ben and Jerry’s, half a KG of mixed candy and chocolate, and on top of that, cookies or chips. Sometimes both! All which I proceed to devour within an hour. Or let’s not even talk about the times where I would stuff down 20 hot wings, a 3-piece KFC meal with large mash potatoes and a 1.5 litre of soda in one sitting. No wonder I can put on 4–5 KG over the course of a day.

You know you need to do something when you start measuring everything by the caloric amount of Snicker bars.

Alright, so you get it. I overeat and I stress eat, and I’m really good at it. What really irks me is that I have managed to establish a slew of positive habits — meditating, a daily routine, gymming etc. — , things that took a lot of effort for me to get into, and yet somehow with eating I continue to struggle.

This for me creates a fundamental misalignment in my life, one that I’m desperate to fix.

My weight vacillations…

Screengrab from My FitnessPal for the past 3 months

☞ My vital stats and work out routine

Height: 174cm (182 with stripper heels)

Weight: 77 kg at the start of the experiment.

Mostly sedentary but I try to hit 10000 steps daily.

Gym 3x / week — bodyweight and weights training.

Run 2–3 times — HIIT, Steady state and longer distance running.

Try to sleep at least 7 hours per day

Vo2max according to my Polar running watch is 190.

My body fat according to a hand held Omron body fat monitor says that it's hovering between the range of 11–16%. The measurements were taken over multiple sessions as these things are not known to be the most accurate devices.

My weekly workout schedule.

Monday / Wednesday / Friday — 60 minutes of strength/functional training + 15 mins of core training.

Tuesday — 15 mins of Calisthenics + HIIT Running(High Intensity Interval Training) 25 minutes. The whole cycle is about 5-5.5 km. More details below.

Thursday — Steady state training (40–60 minutes) at 65–75% max HR (Heart Rate) Usually about 7–7.5 km.

Saturday — Long distance running (anywhere from 12–21km) at my normal pace, without holding back / or a compound exercise, usually deadlift.

Sunday — Rest

I usually end each session with a

10–15 minutes sauna session

2 mins ice shower

5 mins foot ice-bath

In addition to my workout, where I was most interested in uncovering insights, I also recorded 2 more “soft” data points.

My energy level 1–10 (10 being highest energy) My hunger 1–10 (10 being hungriest)

During the fast I did allow myself some coconut oil with my coffee & tea, besides water.

Lastly, you should know that I have experimented with IF(Intermittent Fasting) in the past on a 16 hour fast/8 hour feast schedule.

I usually don’t eat lunch — 95% of the time in the past 3 years, and my breakfast usually consists of 2 hardboiled eggs.

Note: Some days are a bit thin on data because it’s amateur hour here since I only decided to write about this after the experiment. Next time I’ll record more data more conscientiously. Okay?

Day 1

Morning energy 9/10

Hunger level 2/10

Cravings sensation: 6/10

Steps for the day: 8637

Monday Notes: Nothing noteworthy — I’ve done quite a number of 24 hour fast so this is nothing new. I was able to work out in the gym at 100% capacity, i.e. I was able to perform my exercise routines as I usually do.

Day 2

Morning energy 8/10

Hunger level 3/10

Cravings sensation: 7/10

Steps for the day : 13898

HIIT Training while fasted

What is High-intensity Interval training?

Tuesday HIIT training

As compared to the previous week in a non-fasted state

Note: My average heart rate is higher in the fasted state, operating at a slightly lower intensity.

A breakdown on my HIIT routine

Warm up — 100 to 200 metres @ 6.5km/hr

High intensity —200 metres @ 14.5km/hr

Low intensity — 100 metres @ 11.5km/hr

1 high + 1 low intensity set = 1 cycle.

I do 5 of these cycles before ending it with a super set, as shown below.

Super set

60 sec @ 15.5km/hr

90 sec @ 12km/hr

90 sec @ 9km/hr

60 sec @ 6.5 km/hr

60 sec @ 18km/hr

Warm down

90 sec @ 12km/hr

90 sec @ 9km/hr

90 sec @ 6.5km/hr

End