Love and family are powerful magnets that take people all over the world - including to Finland. A recent survey by the National Institute for Welfare and Health THL found that more than half of migrants interviewed - some 54 percent - had come to Finland for those very reasons. The THL estimates that Finland has roughly 70,000 families where one parent was born abroad. It put the number of young Finns growing up in such families at about 150,000. Many non-Finnish spouses settling in Finland are told that living here can be compared to "cashing a winning lottery ticket". Sadly, relationships may run aground and in some cases migrant parents of Finnish children find themselves struggling to learn about and adjust to local custody regulations, while stuck in a foreign country. In an unscientific survey, Yle News invited migrants to contribute persoal accounts of being marooned in Finland because of joint custody arrangements or simply in order to be near their children. The online survey ran from 30.9 to 5.10, during which time we received 31 validated responses. Our respondents shared common experiences, such as distress caused by the substantive custody issues, isolation, unemployment and related financial concerns, and frustration with Finnish social services, among others.

It took six weeks to receive an English translation of the outcome yet I had only four weeks to appeal New Zealand After divorcing in 2011, I was left in debt, unemployed (former IT employee), distraught and with young 2 children and a dog to care for in a foreign, non-foreigner-friendly country. I had no family and few friends. After a year of searching for employment, I was under severe financial strain, emotional stress and there was no sustainable future for me in Finland. My ex would not allow me to return home with the children. I filed for sole custody and lost. It took six weeks to receive an English translation of the outcome yet I had only four weeks to appeal. I returned to my home country three years later in 2014. I was excluded from my children’s lives. Judges, lawyers, social welfare officers, court-appointed psychologists – all favour their national. They are out of their league and lack experience in these mixed nationality custody cases, especially if you live outside of Helsinki central. The entire case rested on the fact that the father was Finnish, the children are Finnish (AND dual citizens, a fact that was totally dismissed) and they were in Finland. Read the story

My ex-husband says I will go into hiding if I travel to my home country with my son Eastern Europe My ex-husband refuses to sign our son’s passport application. He accuses me of wanting to travel to my home country with our son and going into hiding. This is complete nonsense as I have a permanent job and property in Finland and understand that it would be beneficial for my son to be raised here. Still I would like my son to visit his other mother country and get to know the beautiful culture. We are currently in discussions with the involvement of child protection officers. Read the story

Clear procedures for resolving custody disputes According to the Ministry of Justice, if a child's parents are married they'll have joint custody. Unmarried mothers automatically become sole custodian. When married parents in Finland divorce, they can resolve custody issues by mutual agreement, but their decision must be validated by a local social welfare board. In other cases, a social worker may be called in to mediate to help the parents reach an agreement concerning custody. Such outcomes must also be formalised in a contract approved by local social welfare officials. In extreme situations where parents can't see eye to eye, they may resort to the local courts for an official decision.

I am stuck here if I want to keep things civilised Canada I have been affected by unemployment and difficult times because I’m not able to leave. I am working on my second master’s degree and have many years of experience in my field and could easily find a job elsewhere. I am stuck here if I want to keep things civilised. Read the story

My life is now simply existence. I am here simply to be with my daughter Scotland My daughter is now almost five, and the only good thing to come out of what has otherwise been one disastrous decision on my part after another. I’ve recently moved to a larger town, where I might have a chance of finding work, a social life and all those things I used to take for granted back in the UK. After two years of integration courses, my Finnish has improved, which is what I needed more than anything, just to communicate with my daughter over the last few years, as she doesn't/won't speak English. I’ve thought of leaving but if I do I won’t see my daughter again. Read the story

Parties agree on joint custody in 93% of cases Joint custody is by far the most common type of custody arrangement in Finland. In 2014 the THL reported that 93 percent of custody agreements settled on joint custody. Just six percent awarded sole custody to mothers and less than one percent to fathers. The joint custody principle means that the consent of the both parents is required for major decisions affecting a child, but in instances where parents aren't on good terms, it can be taken to extremes. In the eyes of the law, major decisions include education choices, changes in place of residence and obtaining a Finnish passport. Needless to say, decisions about overseas travel - let alone relocation abroad - often stumble over this legal requirement. According to the Ministry, "neither parent has the right to change the child’s residence abroad without the consent of the other parent, not even if the child is staying with the parent that has removed him or her."

I have applied for full custody but I don't know what will happen next China I took my son abroad to visit my family with his mother's permission. I had also informed the social authorities of the visit before I left. Upon our return the mother accused me of trying to kidnap my son. After that I had no contact with him for three months and the mother was not in touch with child protection officials in her city. I could not see him according to our agreement because the mother would not allow it. Later on she said, "Come and get your child." He is now with me and I have applied for full custody but I don't know what will happen next. Read the story

I stay because to go would mean leaving my child here. We both feel like hostages USA I have had joint custody of our child, now 14, since the divorce in 2010. My child has lived with me since birth. The court essentially ruled that I would be "robbing the child of Finnish culture and heritage" if they allowed us to leave Finland. I had the opportunity to return to the States to work at a prestigious university. I stay because to go would mean leaving my child here. We both feel like hostages. The courts discriminate against foreigners and fail to ascertain the true "best interests of the child". Court social workers are often not properly trained, interpreter services are not always available. Read the story

Hague Convention outlaws international child abduction Some parents - not only in Finland, but in other parts of the world as well - are tempted to take their children with them and try to rebuild their lives in their home country. But that's just not on. Finland is one of more than 90 countries that have signed up to the Hague Convention on Child Abduction, which seeks to protect children from being unlawfully taken abroad by one parent. The exclusive aim of the convention is to return abducted children to their legal guardians. According to the Association for Abducted Children, a Finnish NGO, 23 children were abducted from Finland last year, while 20 were abducted abroad and brought here. In most cases however, migrant parents attempt to go through the official and legal channels available to resolve custody issues and to secure their children's best interests.

It has been two and a half years and counting and there is a lot of simply waiting and being unable to plane USA I’m one of those cases where the child lives with me rather than the mother. When my Finnish ex-wife and I came here five years ago, our child was already six and in elementary school. The marriage lasted only two and a half more years after moving here and the child and I have wanted to return home ever since. The city gave up waiting for my ex to reply to a court request and so gave me sole guardianship by default, only to be thwarted by last-minute appeals - then she changes her mind, then appeals again anyway. The appeals court sends it back to the city court, who agrees that we will discuss the matter again in one year. It has been two and a half years and counting and there is a lot of simply waiting and being unable to plane. Read the story

My Finnish husband kicked me and our child out. We cannot leave this Finnish prison Poland I left my happy home abroad eight years ago for my Finnish husband. Two years ago, he kicked me and our 2.5-year-old son out. We are trapped here now. I have since won sole custody of our child. I am actively looking for work but as a foreigner I am always left behind. My health has been affected as well. Nothing keeps me here except my child. But we cannot leave this Finnish prison to start a normal, calm and happy life in a place where we both feel safe, loved and free. Read the story

Frustration with social services In Finland, when parents squabble over child welfare or custody issues, the matter usually ends up in the hands of local child welfare workers. Custody decisions are usually confirmed by local social welfare authorities or the courts. More than a few of the migrant parents who responded to our survey expressed their frustration with what they saw as the inability or lack of interest in their children's multicultural background. "They are out of their league and lack experience in these mixed nationality custody cases, especially if you live outside of Helsinki central," said one parent originally from New Zealand. Finnish laws guaranteeing the protection of children's rights highlight "the best interest of the child." Some of our respondents questioned why courts and social workers interpreted the best interests of a multicultural child primarily as maintaining his or her Finnish identity - to the exclusion of any other heritage. "The courts discriminate against foreigners and fail to ascertain the true 'best interests of the child'," charged another parent from the USA. Children’s Ombudsman Tuomas Kurttila declined an interview on the issue, but we found he had express strong views on how social workers deal with many of the family cases that come before them in general. In his 2015 annual report on the state of child-related issues in Finland for 2015, Kurttila pointed to the shortage of adequately-trained employees working on child protection cases. "In 2013 one in three social workers involved in child protection cases were either unqualified or incompetent. In one-fifth of municipalities fewer than half of social workers met the qualification requirements. And in some municipalities there wasn’t a single competent social worker covering child protection cases."

I am now stuck. There are few job opportunities and I am unable to move outside of this town USA When we divorced we agreed (out of court) that I wouldn’t take the kids to the US. Finland is their home and with three of the kids requiring special care uprooting them was not a good option. However I am now stuck. There are few job opportunities and I am unable to move outside of this town with my kids. We constantly discuss how when the youngest is 18 we will leave. Read the story

It’s been nine years in the courts, but I am still unable to see my children Chile For nine years I have struggled to meet my children on the terms of a basic agreement. The courts have three times granted the children and me the right to meet. It has never happened as the courts have decided. My ex-wife breaks the law as she pleases. Just months ago I won another case against false accusations brought to delay my meetings with the children, but I am still unable to see them. Read the story