The Australian ambassador to France, Stephen Brady, offered his resignation after refusing instructions to leave his gay partner behind in an official meet and greet.

Brady was reportedly told by the prime minister’s travelling party that his long-term partner, Peter Stephens, should not be at the airport for Abbott’s arrival at Le Bourget airport in Paris on Anzac Day.

Government sources said that standard diplomatic protocol calls for partners to be present at official arrivals only when the prime minister is travelling with his or her partner. Abbott’s wife Margie was not accompanying him during the visit last month.

Brady, a career diplomat who began his career at the Department of Foreign Affairs and Trade (Dfat) in 1982, refused that instruction and offered his resignation afterwards, the Sydney Morning Herald reported.

A spokesman for the prime minister would not comment on the resignation, which is believed to have been rejected, saying only that: “The prime minister was very happy to be met by ambassador Brady and his partner last month.”

Brady is still listed as Australia’s ambassador to France on Dfat’s website. Brady and Abbott dined together at an official event two days after the prime minister arrived in Paris.

Abbott personally hosted a farewell dinner for Brady and Stephens when the couple left Canberra to take up the post in September last year.

In January this year, governor-general Peter Cosgrove named Brady an officer in the order of Australia in the Australia Day accolades.

Brady and Stephens became the first-ever officially acknowledged gay ambassadorial couple when they were presented to Queen Margrethe of Denmark before Brady took up his posting in Copenhagen in 1999.

The couple have been together for more than three decades.