“What species are you?” is probably a conversation you should have before you fool around with someone.

This whole page happened because I thought the name “Woof” was basically the funniest sounding name for a race of aliens. Sure, there are sillier words, and it’d be funny if we met a race of proud warrior aliens, but their name for themselves in our language sounds like “Drippy dicks” or “Fart nose.” We’d probably just insist on calling them something else.

But “Woof” is such a stupid and simple name for a race of aliens, made so much worse that it sounds like wolf, and they kind of look like wolves… a little. We’d probably try and call them that anyway, only to find out that it’s a horrible slur in their language.

Whole alien languages could be like that, too. It’s an amazing coincidence that Klingon sounds tough, with lots of hard consonants. Imagine if it sounded like French, or a typical sentence sounded like “Flooppy ploopy blippity bloop, hazaaaaa.” They would lose some of their menacing edge. No one carries gravitas speaking like that.

Fun fact. Women’s breasts do fun things when they laugh, but it’s usually much less polite to point that out.

Double res version will be posted over at Patreon. $1 and up, but feel free to contribute as much as you like.