On July 4th, 2012, I came out to my extended family of 30 all at once by showing up to our annual BBQ and swim party in a bikini. In hindsight it wasn’t the most tactful of decision, but after my mother had forbidden me to tell anyone in my family about my transition years before I had tried my best to abide by her wishes with less than savory results. It turns out that several years worth of transition and HRT are really, really hard to hide.

With good intentions, my mother had decided that she wanted to break the news about her transgender child to her family. She promised it would be “easier that way”. By the time that fateful July rolled around, she had said barely a word to anyone, and as a result a myriad of rumors had circulated through the family about what was going on with me. I don’t have the most closed-minded of families, but when you introduce dramatic changes with no explanation, all anyone is left with is conjecture.

Most of my family wound up assuming I was a gay transvestite. Several of them thought I was a sex worker.

So, when I waltzed into our annual celebration looking stunning in my Body Glove bikini top, my hair done up and my makeup flawless, I definitely turned some heads. A few dozen conversations later, most of my family finally understood what was happening in my life. The large majority of them were supportive as well. Still, there were those that were wordlessly opposed, and I was unceremoniously uninvited to our Thanksgiving and Christmas celebrations as a result. As my mother put it, it would just be “better if you didn’t go”.

When this year’s 4th flipped onto my upcoming events calendar, I decided that I would attend once again. Having not seen certain members of my family since the last 4th of July, I figured it was about time I caught up with them, for better or for worse. This year I won’t just be bringing my own persona to the party, though. Shortly after my last 4th I met my current partner, and we fell deeply in love. Now, we live our lives, two trans* people with two dotted pasts. We spend our time working to create a home and raise our 2-year old, who is just about the cutest kid I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing.

I’ve been trying to project how this whole thing is going to go tomorrow, but I honestly can’t picture it. There are just too many variables. All I know is that I’m going to walk in there with my family on my arm and calmly introduce them. We’ll see how it all plays out from there. Here’s hoping that everyone has calmed down a bit since last year. Maybe I’m old news by now. Failing that, we’ll just have to rely on our smiling, giggling kiddo to win their hearts.

Looking forward to the fireworks. Pun intended.