For the first week of the coronavirus pandemic, or more accurately the panic it wrought, Anthony had nightmares. “I woke up numerous times because I was dreaming I couldn’t put s*** on the shelf fast enough and people were basically rioting,” he says.

The 34-year-old works at a grocery store in San Antonio, and although most of the population has transitioned to working from home, his job cannot be done remotely. Anthony is one of the essential workers for whom the global upheaval hasn’t included a monotonous blend of sweatpants and video conferences, but rather the same daily routine rendered eerily apocalyptic through the absence of other people.

The nightmares have stopped but still every day is exhausting.

James — a 31-year-old engineer in Chicago who, like many in this story, asked for anonymity to speak candidly — feels similarly. His company had layoffs last year and nonessential staff have been sent home, but the manufacturing plant where he works is still operating at normal capacity.

“I have been in the industry for nine-plus years and I can honestly say the last two weeks have been the most stressful period of my professional life,” he says.

In Knoxville, Tenn., Jay Wigley is finally getting back to work. Although the 53-year-old, who does quality control in the medical devices manufacturing industry, is an “essential worker,” last week his wife got sick. She had a fever and a cough and was fortunately able to be tested for the coronavirus. The test came back negative, but while they were waiting for results, Wigley had to work from home. It wasn’t the first time he’d done so, but the pandemic made it feel starkly different.

“Not knowing was so much more vividly felt this time: not knowing her health, not knowing if I would also need to be tested, not knowing what the next days or weeks will bring,” he says. “But when I look back on that now, a week later, I see that we are all in a not-knowing situation, and I had a head start realizing that. We are all faced with much more I don’t know than we are used to living with in such a present way.”

Now when he wakes up, he feels better connected to the uncertain reality of life, but unlike most, he still has to go outside, go to his car and go to work.

‘Coming to work every day is extremely conflicting’

“I feel a little guilty in some ways,” Wigley says, “because so much of my day is unchanged, or bettered, such as my commute. I get to keep my routines, mostly.”

The commutes are a breeze for those workers who have been deemed essential. Around the country, workers say driving times are cut almost in half with so few cars on the road. Of course, if you look a little closer, the effects of the nation’s many stay-at-home orders can already be seen.

View photos A commuter wears a protective face mask as he rides the train in Boston amid stay-at-home orders that apply to all but essential workers. (Photo by Jessica Rinaldi/The Boston Globe via Getty Images) More

“It’s jarring to see all the dark windows and closed signs at restaurants and bars,” says Art, a 51-year-old pharmacist in Illinois. “You know some of those places just aren’t going to open again.”

“It totally feels like a zombie movie. Empty shelves, empty roads,” Anthony says. He admits that recently watching “28 Days Later” was probably a mistake.

Of course, not everyone is comfortable leaving the house right now. The United States just surpassed China for the most reported coronavirus cases globally — and that’s with insufficient testing. Staying home is the safest option, which makes having to go out for work all the more anxiety-inducing if you have increased cause for concern.

“Coming to work every day is extremely conflicting for me,” says James, the engineer. His wife is 13 weeks pregnant with their first child. She is able to follow the strictest precautions — except, of course, regularly being exposed to someone who is not. “Our levels of anxiety are bordering paranoia, especially given how the total victims climb every day.”

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