I just so happened to receive my Secret Santa's gift on the same day that I am celebrated my reddit cake day! I'm going to pretend that I'm one of a select few redditors who has received a real gift for their reddit anniversary.

I came home to find a large box waiting for me on my porch and smaller box waiting for me in my mailbox. The large box was rather light for its size and the small box seemed rather heavy for its size. Needless to say, I was intrigued.

I opened to big box to find a rolled up poster, a couple of bags of candy, and a letter from my Santa. I unrolled the poster to find two mustachioed visages glaring at me along with the "Ron Swanson Pyramid of Greatness". Everyday I will be reminded of all the ways in which I am lacking as a man, but it will also serve as the cheat sheet to being a better me. In my Santa's letter I was provided with some helpful suggestions for ways to display my new poster and a fun little puzzle to figure out my gifter's username.

After the larger box, I moved onto the smaller one. This box had seen better days. It was battle-hardened. There was a note on it from USPS stating that it had been "Received Unsealed". I thought it was very kind of them to reseal it for me. However, I would soon find that my gratitude was misplaced. I carefully opened it up to find a four-pack of Sixpoint Brewery's Sweet Action! The box of the four-pack itself was also sporting some lso war wounds; a few of which were still open. This is a brewery who's beers I had been wanting to try for a while. It was at this time that I discovered that my four-pack was actually a three-pack! Some USPS employee had given themselves an early holiday treat. I ain't even mad though. I'm just excited to get to try a new beer.

Thank you so much Esperant0!