To which I say, psssshhhhhh. The hours leading up to the start of another NFL season are a time for unbridled, foolish optimism. It’s a time when one can still make the case that even the teams facing the longest odds (hi, Jets) could reach the Super Bowl. It’s time for a few preposterously positive predictions, so let’s get glass-half-full weird. Here are five things that the Redskins probably won’t (but maybe will!) accomplish this season:

1. The Redskins will score at least 450 points.

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Why it’s preposterous: The two times the Redskins scored more than 450 points in a season, they went 14-2 and advanced to the Super Bowl. The 1983 team led by Joe Theismann, Charlie Brown and John Riggins set a then-NFL record with 541 points (33.8 per game) before losing to the Raiders in Super Bowl XVIII. The 1991 team led by Mark Rypien, “The Posse” and a defense that pitched three shutouts scored 485 points during the regular season and dominated the Bills in Super Bowl XXVI. The 2017 Redskins are not considered Super Bowl contenders; Rob Kelley is not John Riggins; Terrelle Pryor Sr., Jamison Crowder and Josh Doctson are not, in all likelihood, The (Next) Posse. While Kirk Cousins rewrote the Redskins’ passing record book over the past two years, Washington didn’t eclipse the 400-point total in either season, and his two leading receivers from those teams are gone. The Redskins ranked 12th in the league with 396 points last year and 10th in the league with 388 points in 2015.

Why it could happen: While Pierre Garcon and DeSean Jackson are gone, Pryor, a healthy Jordan Reed and Josh Doctson should improve the Redskins’ effectiveness in the red zone, where their 45.9 percent touchdown rate ranked 29th in the NFL last season. (Alternate preposterous prediction: Doctson and Reed combine to miss fewer than five games.) Scoring throughout the NFL is up almost four points per game since the Redskins’ last Super Bowl title. Two teams — the Super Bowl runner-up Falcons and the 7-9 Saints — scored at least 450 points last season. The year before that, three teams did it. Six teams eclipsed the 450-point mark in 2014 and the Peyton Manning-led Broncos scored an astounding 606 points in 2013.

2. Washington will lead the NFL in takeaways.

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Why it’s preposterous: The Redskins ranked tied for 17th with 21 takeaways last season after tying for ninth with 26 takeaways in 2015. Joe Barry was fired as Washington’s defensive coordinator after two years and replaced by former Redskins linebacker Greg Manusky, whose defenses with the Indianapolis Colts ranked no better than 10th in takeaways from 2012-15.

Why it could happen: Manusky, who sometimes enjoys hiding in porta-potties, has promised a more aggressive and attacking approach on defense, and he has the playmakers in Zach Brown, D.J. Swearinger, Josh Norman and Ryan Kerrigan to do it. “We might not win a game, but we’ll sure beat the crap out of a lot of people!” Manusky said in May. And maybe, just maybe, they’ll also lead the league in takeaways.

3. Rob Kelley and Samaje Perine will combine to rush for at least 2,000 yards.

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Why it’s preposterous: This is a repeat of a similar prediction from two years ago, with Kelley and Perine in place of Alfred Morris and Matt Jones, and it’s no less preposterous now. After rushing for 1,696 yards as a team last season, Washington has fallen short of the 2,000-yard rushing mark five out of the past seven years. Morris and Robert Griffin III combined to rush for 2,428 yards in 2012, but the closest a pair of Redskins running backs has come to 2,000 rushing yards in the last 12 seasons was when Clinton Portis and Ladell Betts combined for 1,854 yards in 2005.

Why it could happen: Jay Gruden takes over play-calling duties from departed offensive coordinator Sean McVay and would like to see a more balanced offense that doesn’t require Cousins to throw for 5,000 yards. If that’s going to happen, Kelley will have to improve on his solid debut season and Perine will have to show the sort of skills that made Chris Cooley such a fan of the Oklahoma rookie during the preseason. Trent Williams and the Hogs 2.0 put in serious work during the offseason with the goal of improving a unit that could be one of the NFL’s best under the guidance of coach Bill Callahan.

4. Jonathan Allen will win NFL Defensive Rookie of the Year.

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Why it’s preposterous: Brian Orakpo set a Redskins rookie record with 11 sacks in 2009 and still finished a distant fourth in the voting for the NFL’s defensive rookie of the year. Allen was the ninth defensive player taken in this year’s NFL draft and will face stiff competition for the award from the more hyped names selected before him, including Myles Garrett and Solomon Thomas. Chargers defensive end Joey Bosa, the first defensive player picked in the 2016 NFL draft, ran away with last year’s award, which a Washington player has never won.

Why it could happen: Allen, the former Stone Bridge standout, finished his Alabama career with 28 sacks, including 22.5 over the past two years. Analysts considered him one of the biggest steals of the draft at No. 17 overall and he looked good during training camp and the preseason, earning a starting role. Only two years ago, Chiefs cornerback Marcus Peters won the award after being the eighth defensive player selected in the draft.

5. The Redskins will go at least 7-1 at home.

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Why it’s preposterous: A recent study by ESPN’s Bill Barnwell found that the Redskins might have the worst home-field advantage in the NFL. Washington has won six games in a season at FedEx Field three times (2015, 2005, 1999), but hasn’t gone 7-1 at home since the 1991 season at RFK Stadium. Over the past two years, only the 2016 Texans and 2015 Patriots finished the regular season 7-1 at home.

Why it could happen: Washington’s non-divisional road schedule includes a Monday night game at Kansas City and a trip to Seattle, but the home slate isn’t quite as daunting. The Redskins get the Raiders at home on a Sunday night after exorcising some of their prime-time demons with a win over the Packers last season. The Cardinals, Vikings, Broncos and rebuilding 49ers also visit Landover this year, and most of those games are consider toss-ups at worst. As for the Redskins’ NFC East foes, the Cowboys could be without running back Ezekiel Elliott when they travel to FedEx Field on Oct. 29. Washington hosts the Giants for its first Thanksgiving home game in franchise history on Nov. 23.