"I am so sad that you didn’t say goodbye."

These are the emotional words within a letter written by a grieving daughter to her dad who tragically took his own life.

The anonymous letter was published as part of the Sunday Independent's 'The Letter I Wish I'd Sent' series and in it, a daughter speaks about the aftermath of her father's suicide.

In the powerful letter, the daughter tells her dad that they would have forgiven him for anything and said it haunts her that he died alone and in despair.

"The night you died was horrific. I know that you wouldn’t have wished that upon us in all your years on this earth, so I know you must have been in a really bad place to go ahead and do it anyway. I am so sad that you didn’t say goodbye to me, that is something that really sticks out, it really hurts. And I cry at the thought that you were on your own out there, that you died alone and in the dark.

"Were you scared? I know if I were there, I would have killed myself trying to stop you, but sometimes I wish I were there just to hold your hand so that you weren’t alone when you were dying. So that I could look into your eyes one last time and tell you that I love you. I pray that your last thoughts weren’t sad or scared. I can only hope you died with something positive in your mind.

"I would forgive you for anything dad. Anything. There is nothing I have learned about you since your death that I wouldn’t forgive you for. Even the things that might have seemed like the end of the world if anyone found out about, we would have forgiven you.

"We have forgiven you."

In the letter, the daughter talks about the impact her father's death has had on his granddaughter and said she regrets all the Christmases they'll never spend together now.

"You have been through so much, I promise you it would not be seen as a weakness to say you are suffering. And even if someone does think it is weak, so what? If you have to take an anti-depressant every day, wouldn’t it be worth it if it meant you got better and could spend a few more Christmases with us and your granddaughter who I know you adore?

"I wish things were different. I wish you could have known the support we would have given you if you had told us, opened up and said you’re not OK. I wish you were still here to see your granddaughter. She still talks about you. She still points out the little chocolate bar you used to buy her in the shop. I wish you were still here for me, I miss you so much. It hurts me to know you were in that much pain and it hurts me that you felt suicide was your best option, but I will try my hardest to remember the strength it must have taken to survive as long as you did," she writes.

The letter writer revealed to the editor that her father spent years in an abusive marriage, which contributed to his mental health issues. The man's daughter explains just how difficult life is in the aftermath of his death.

"I wish things were different. I wish you could have known the support we would have given you if you had told us, opened up and said you’re not OK. I wish you were still here to see your granddaughter. She still talks about you. She still points out the little chocolate bar you used to buy her in the shop. I wish you were still here for me, I miss you so much. It hurts me to know you were in that much pain and it hurts me that you felt suicide was your best option, but I will try my hardest to remember the strength it must have taken to survive as long as you did."

Signing off the emotional letter, the daughter says the experience has taught her to instill openness in her own daughter to prevent another tragedy.

"I will tell my daughter stories about you and show her photos. I will teach her your values and teach her how to be strong. But dad, I am going to teach her how to ask for help, I will show her the benefits of talking and sharing and being open about mental health. Because I know you wouldn’t want any of us to suffer the way you did, especially your granddaughter.

"I hope you know I love you, I know you loved me," she finishes.

You can read the mum's letter in full below

For anyone affected by the issues raises in this article, contact Pieta House on 1800 247 247 or the Samaritans on 116 123

The Sunday Independent is encouraging readers to write the letters you wish you'd sent as part of a series celebrating the art of letter writing. Send your letters, including your address and contact details to: The Letter I Wish I'd Sent, Sunday Independent, Independent House, 27-32 Talbot Street, Dublin 1, or email snews@independent.ie clearly labelled 'The Letter I Wish I'd Sent'

To Dad,

I can see you’re not OK. I can see you’re not well but I don’t know how to help. I wish I could do more but you won’t even admit things aren’t OK. I wish you would consider going to a doctor and telling them you’re not OK. But I understand that this is ‘just not the way things are dealt with’ in your generation.

I wish you could see it from my point of view. I wish you could see that it’s OK to say you’re not OK. You taught me to ask for help when I needed it, so why can’t you? If things were the other way round, you would be telling me how to get help, you would be guiding me through it and telling me to keep on going until I am well again.

You have been through so much, I promise you it would not be seen as a weakness to say you are suffering. And even if someone does think it is weak, so what? If you have to take an anti-depressant every day, wouldn’t it be worth it if it meant you got better and could spend a few more Christmases with us and your granddaughter who I know you adore?

I wish you felt like you could talk to me. But I know that just isn’t in you.

I’m sorry for the pain you’re in, I really wish there was something I could do. But I want you to know that I love you, and am very grateful for every single happy moment you gave me. I am grateful for the strength you gave me and the things you taught me.

I wish I could do something that would take your pain away. I wish I could even understand your pain, but you won’t tell us anything. No matter what happens you will always be my dad and I will always want and need you with me. I will never want to let you go. Can’t you see how truly wonderful you are as a person, but you are just lost in an awful situation? But you’re broken, I can see that now.

The night you died was horrific. I know that you wouldn’t have wished that upon us in all your years on this earth, so I know you must have been in a really bad place to go ahead and do it anyway. I am so sad that you didn’t say goodbye to me, that is something that really sticks out, it really hurts. And I cry at the thought that you were on your own out there, that you died alone and in the dark.

Were you scared? I know if I were there, I would have killed myself trying to stop you, but sometimes I wish I were there just to hold your hand so that you weren’t alone when you were dying. So that I could look into your eyes one last time and tell you that I love you. I pray that your last thoughts weren’t sad or scared. I can only hope you died with something positive in your mind.

I would forgive you for anything dad. Anything. There is nothing I have learned about you since your death that I wouldn’t forgive you for. Even the things that might have seemed like the end of the world if anyone found out about, we would have forgiven you.

We have forgiven you. My only regret is not being able to tell you to your face that I don’t care about those things, that it’s OK and I still think you’re great, even if you are human and made mistakes.

I wish you had told me those things so that I could have had a chance to look you in the eye and tell you that I don’t care, and that I still love you and that I can still see all the wonderful things you did far outweighed any bad things. I would have helped you sort it out, get through it and be happy again if that’s what you wanted.

I can see now that you did what you did because at the time you thought it was your only option, or it was your best option. I wish things were different. I wish you could have known the support we would have given you if you had told us, opened up and said you’re not OK. I wish you were still here to see your granddaughter. She still talks about you. She still points out the little chocolate bar you used to buy her in the shop. I wish you were still here for me, I miss you so much. It hurts me to know you were in that much pain and it hurts me that you felt suicide was your best option, but I will try my hardest to remember the strength it must have taken to survive as long as you did.

Thank you for all the days you wanted to give up but didn’t. I am so grateful that you tried. I will remember all the good times you gave me and I will hold on to the memory of your smiling face and the things you loved and taught me to appreciate.

I will tell my daughter stories about you and show her photos. I will teach her your values and teach her how to be strong. But dad, I am going to teach her how to ask for help, I will show her the benefits of talking and sharing and being open about mental health. Because I know you wouldn’t want any of us to suffer the way you did, especially your granddaughter.

I hope you know I love you, I know you loved me.

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