Every day on Twitter, I see people crying out for relationships. Oh no, it’s never done overtly. That’ll be weird. It’s usually more along the lines of…

“Hey guys! Look at this pot of rice I cooked. #WifeMaterial lol”

“Hello Twitter friends! I just killed a lion with my bare hands while building shelter for one-legged homeless little kids. #HusbandMaterial10Yards”

You see that “lol” over there? She’s not really laughing. That tweet just means “OMG, I can cook so why am I still single?” Mr. Atlas, too, can’t help but wonder why he’s still single despite everything. I’d say we start a Nigerian match.com for these people, but why do that when you have the OFFICE.

Seriously, you should date your coworkers.

I’ll state my reasons on why you should date a colleague and here they are:

You should date in the office simply because you two can scheme and plan effectively on how to make money from your company/organisation. There’s a reason they say, “Two heads are better than one.” It’s for planning white-collar crimes or maybe a sexual innuendo, either way it’s a great reason to date a co-worker. Another reason to date in the office? To make your life more complicated! Only boring people live simple lives and the one thing we must always strive to avoid is living boring lives. That and being trapped in the friend zone. Dating a co-worker is basically saying: I want to be confronted by my stupid decisions every morning when I walk into the office, and throughout the day as the said decision walks by laughing at a joke that is not even funny; being confronted by stupid decisions allow us grow as humans, don’t ask me how, it’s science! One of the all-important reasons to dating a colleague is to make sure you’re the centre of all office gossip because let’s face it, Linda Ikeji just isn’t enough. Are you tired of having the same dreary bland conversation everyday with your significant other? “Hi! How was your day?”, “Anything happen at the office today?” want to never have to face this? Then ask your doctor if dating your co-worker is right for you (IT IS!). Are you insecure? Over-protective? Want to make sure your significant other never cheats on you on when they do, have the proof to confront them?

Hey babe! I called you at 2:15 pm today no answer, went to your desk at 2:17 and you weren’t there… you were cheating on me in the bathroom right! I have your missing 3 minutes to prove it! Oh! You’re going out of town for a conference? Well, I checked HR and you have no conferences coming up. So you want to leave me for that slut? Over my dead body! You and I are going to sit here and eat this food I made with Otapiapia… with love!

Dear readers, I hope I’ve been able to give you adequate reasons on why you should date a colleague. Anyway, till next time.

Have a lovely day!

Faisal Adamu is a strategist, free thinker, constantly in a state of “perturbedness”, aspiring satirist, ignorant. Find him on Twitter.

Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of Y!/YNaija.