Ready to step up your profile and order that personalized license plate? A slightly obnoxious one? How about trying to get a sly but dirty reference put on the back of your car?

Classy, but you'll have to get through the state first.

Times Union reporter Tim O'Brien — check out his blog here — wondered if the DMV kept a list of rejected plates, and through a Freedom of Information request, he got a copy of the "Red Guide," a database of naughty plate configurations that are automatically rejected.

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There are a lot of reasons plates are rejected.

But the biggie: A plate is banned if it "is, in the discretion of the commissioner, obscene, lewd, lascivious, derogatory to a particular ethnic or other group, or patently offensive."

Along with using common sense, DMV employees are officially directed to search for possible meanings on Urban Dictionary and Google.

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Here is a sampling of what we found in the "Red Guide." Many that we are not posting are, without question, obscene.

We felt like others may be debatable. Breastfeeding advocate? You're out of luck. Want to put your sexuality out there? Seems unlikely.

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Some plates took us a while to figure out — until we looked at them upside down.

You won't see any of these on the streets. And don't say we didn't warn you.