Welcome back, dear reader. So, wow, huh? That was different. Not a lot of payoff this week on old stuff, but a few whoppers to talk about in the new stuff category. That said, it’ll be a light one this week. Next week, during the down time, my ambition is to review what has come before, perhaps focusing specifically on what we might have missed in the 2-hour pilot for this season. But for now, let’s dig in to this week’s content.

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Theory: Bad Cooper is a magician.

Analysis: More evidence for my favorite pet theory this week. Once again, Bad Cooper pulls some crazy technomancer hoodoo on his burner cell phone from Warden Murphy, first detecting the 3 tracking devices (of course it was 3) on their car and then typing in the license plate number of the truck in front of them to transfer the tracking over to that vehicle. However, while he’s an apparent whiz at technology, his mind reading skills seem to be somewhat lacking, seeing how he didn’t know about Ray and the Warden double crossing him. Nobody’s perfect.

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Theory: There are alternative timelines / realities at work here.

Analysis: Nothing huge to report on this one this week, unless it turns out that as a result of this week *everything* is an alternative timeline / reality (always a possibility). I will throw one minor log on the fire though.

Many have noted the Roadhouse band was introduced as “THE Nine Inch Nails”, which fans of the band take as an inside joke from Lynch, being a fan himself and knowing the band and fans alike absolutely hate it when people add the “The” in front of their name. However, they were also listed as such in the credits. So, and this is a bit tin foil hattery perhaps, this could be an indicator that we’re seeing an alternate reality where the band is named “The Nine Inch Nails”, not just “Nine Inch Nails”. And likewise, an alternate reality where a huge act like NIN would be playing the Roadhouse in podunk Twin Peaks.

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Theory: (You name it) is the Girl in the NM 1956 scene. (You name it) is the Boy in the NM 1956 scene.

Analysis: OK, let’s talk about this. There are a lot of theories going around about who these two crazy kids could be. Pretty much every Twin Peaks character and their parents have been named. Let’s first talk about who they are *not*.

They are not Hawk, Ed, Nadine, Norma, Hank, or anyone else who was part of the famous 1968 undefeated football season in Twin Peaks. The Access Guide, trading cards and Secret History all acknowledge that event and place those characters as seniors that year. The cards say all were born in 1950, which can be taken with a grain of salt, but nonetheless none of them were teenagers in 1956.

They are not Sarah and/or Leland Palmer. Again, the trading cards put their birth dates in 1946 and 1944 respectively. But more importantly, those kids are not white. Possibly Indian or Hispanic, but definitely not white.

The Girl is not the Log Lady. This is an intriguing possibility, as Margaret was born in 1940, making her about the right age in 1956. However, the Secret History establishes her in Twin Peaks in 1947 when she, Carl Rodd and Alan Traherne were abducted, and then again in 1958 when she graduated from Twin Peaks High School. It seems highly unlikely she moved away to New Mexico for a spell in between those events. And again, Margaret is very much so white.

The Girl is not Judy. Judy, at least as originally envisioned, was to be Josie’s twin sister. In other words, Japanese. And born in 1962. Now, of course, this could be a retcon. Judy is a character of legend practically at this point, so the whole twin sister back story may have been scrapped, since none of it ever made it to film. But by the same measure, we don’t have a leg to stand on then to say that this character *is* her either.

Now I will say that they do drop a hint that the Girl, at least, may have a sixth sense about her. She “just knows” where the Boy lives. That may be reading too much into her comment, but it seems like that was placed there as a clue. Many of the important characters in Twin Peaks, Sarah, Margaret and Dale amongst them, have similar “gifts” and the gifted seem to attract the attention of the Lodge entities. So it’s not impossible that the Girl could be the mother of an important character we know or one we have yet to meet, passing down the “bad seed” that has been planted in her with the roach-frog thing. We shall see.

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Theory: The charcoal man in the jail cell is The Woodsman.

Analysis: Well, not *the* Woodsman perhaps, but definitely *a* Woodsman. One of eight we have now identified. Confirmation had already been received prior to Part 8 that the jail cell charcoal man and the morgue charcoal man were played by two different actors. Now we know that they are 2 of 8 total Woodsmen actors. These guys are both the ones running around the conveniently marked Convenience Store in 1945, the ones terrorizing a small town in New Mexico in 1956, and the ones dancing around Bad Cooper when he gets shot by Ray in the present.

The Woodsmen originally appear in the Missing Pieces scene of the meeting above the Convenience Store that Jeffries describes to Cole and company. There are two woodsman characters identified in that scene, sitting together on the periphery of the meeting. In the final cut, they had no speaking parts, but in the original script they had lines woven into the MFAP’s dialogue (see http://www.davidlynch.it/twin-peaks-the-secrets-of-the-room-above-the-convenience-store/). That’s about all we knew about them up until now.

It’s a bit unclear what the role of these Woodsmen is. In Buckhorn, they are doing little more than haunting the police station. Perhaps serving as a kind of bodach, ala the Odd Thomas novels, their presence foreboding something ominous to come. When Bad Cooper is shot, they come to his aid, perhaps, or they come to steal BOB away from him while he’s down, perhaps. Or both. When the not-Giant sees them milling around the Convenience Store in NM, that’s his cue to go puke up a Laura bubble and send it off to Earth. So, probably some sort of foot soldiers working the dark side of the conflict to come, but that’s about all we can say at the moment.

There’s a pretty good theory that these 8 Woodsmen could be the 8 lumberjacks killed in Twin Peaks during the 1902 Burning River incident, as documented in the Secret History. [Source: u/linktm on r/twinpeaks] Certainly there’s little call for Woodsmen in the New Mexico desert, so they probably do have an origin elsewhere. If true, then the events of 1945, 1956 and present day Buckhorn have drawn them quite a distance. Or maybe there are Woodsmen everywhere, and Lynch is just frugally using the same 8 actors to show them in various locales.

There’s also a theory that the Log Lady’s husband, Sam Lanterman, could be one of the Woodsmen, or even the lead Woodsman. On the trading card for “Log”, he is identified as “her former woodsman husband”, in fact. It could be that becoming a Woodsman is the fate of any lumberjack who dies in the woods surrounding Twin Peaks, especially if they die by fire. However, it’s also pretty well implied that the reason Margaret carries around the log is because the spirit of her dead husband is trapped within, or at least communicates to her through it. I don’t see him working for the bad guys, ya know?

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Theory: The Trinity blast opened a rift or portal between worlds.

Analysis: The Secret History lays the ground work for this theory. You really must read that book to better understand the goings on in Season 3. I can’t emphasize that enough. In it, occult figures like Jack Parsons, Aleister Crowley and L Ron Hubbard are linked to the history and mythology of Twin Peaks. Parsons in particular had a role in the Trinity test and the later formation of the Jet Propulsion Lab (JPL) in California. In the book, there is a transcript of an interview with him where he talks about trying to summon a figure central to the Thelema religion, Babalon, the Mother of Abominations. [Source: u/lettheashesfall on r/twinpeaks]

Many believe this is the “mother” referred to by Naido in the purple power station, the thing pounding at the door. This creature seems to have followed Cooper from the glass box in NYC. That creature is credited as “Experiment Model” in Part 1, and now we have the same actress credited as “Experiment” in Part 8. Not to ignore that subtle naming difference, but they would seem to be one and the same. There are similarities if you view the various screen captures floating out there. Perhaps that is what the glass box is even, a smaller scale, more technologically up to date, version of the Trinity summoning from 1945.

Now summoned, Mother is seen spewing a stream of eggs towards Earth, one of which is briefly shown to contain BOB. We presume they are eggs because 11 years later we see one hatching in the NM desert and producing the roach-frog creature. Some believe this specific egg/bug creature is the original manifestation of BOB, possessing his first human host. We do see BOB being removed from Bad Cooper in a kind of egg form by the Woodsmen when he gets shot, and of course they seem to be aiding the roach-frog by invading the radio station and putting the town residents to sleep. Personally, I have a very hard time with this retcon of what we thought we knew about BOB (as a spirit that has always existed alongside mankind).

As a side note, now that we got a better look at Mother / Experiment in Part 8, we can see that she has little floppy horns or antenna, making her look much like the blackened image on Bad Cooper’s ace of spades that he shows Darya. Could this be the “want” that Bad Cooper is seeking? [Source: u/jason_steakums on r/twinpeaks]

Also, the plutonium needed for the Trinity test was refined in the reactors at Hanford, Washington. This facility gets a 2-page photo spread in the Secret History, where it is also mentioned that the land for that facility was seized from the Nez Perce indian tribe. Chief Joseph warns that there will be a reckoning for the actions of the white men against his people. All very interesting. [Source: u/lightfromadeadstar on r/twinpeaks]

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Speed Round:

Bad Cooper is shot in the gut, mirroring the shots Good Cooper took to the gut in the original series. In episode 8 of the original series, no less.

The Woodsman who takes over the NM radio station and recites the “poem” over the air looks a lot like Abe Lincoln, because IRL the actor is a Lincoln impersonator for hire (http://abrahamlincolnlives.com). [Source: u/OscarWildeLover on r/twinpeaks]

There is no real world KPJK radio station. [* edited to remove erroneous thoughts about “W” vs “K” callsigns]

There was another Closed Caption glitch this week, with the line from the poem being heard as “Drink full and ascend.” but the CC read “Drink full and descend.” Maybe nothing, but maybe not.

The part of the poem that talks of horses having white eyes and dark within, could be a reference to doppelgängers, as they have been shown to us as having white eyes. [Source: Holly Kariya on the “25 Years Later” Facebook page]

My personal theory, regarding the Laura bubble that the not-Giant manifested, I think this is not her birth we are seeing, but rather a rebirth. I think he extracted her soul back from death to fight the new evil, as she defeated BOB in the past. As many have pointed out, it would be a travesty to retcon her past and turn her into some sort of “chosen one” figure, with no real agency over her destiny. Find Laura.

Ray tells Jeffries “I saw something Cooper. It may be the key to what this is all about.” I have not seen any good theories about this, but it is a super intriguing line. Also, Ray was able to see the Woodsmen and did not seem to be all that surprised by them. He’s more involved in “the game” than I think any of us initially gave him credit for.

“Trinity” – yet another reference to the number 3 in this season.

Senorita Dido bears a striking resemblance to Madame Blavatsky, a Theosophical writer from the early 20th century that has been named as an inspiration for Mark Frost in coming up with the idea of the Black Lodge (see the excellent article http://lithub.com/an-incomplete-guide-to-literary-references-in-twin-peaks/). [Source: Rusty Shock on the “25 Years Later” Facebook group]

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As always, please reply below with your own comments and corrections, or give me your own well thought out theory. You can catch me on various Facebook groups, such as “Twin Peaks (2017)” or our own “25 Years Later” page, on the Reddit r/twinpeaks forum, or email me at catnapspirit@gmail.com. See ya next week.