As we've pointed out before , the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and the street lamps along that road are illuminated by feeble attempts at self-improvement. The cold, harsh reality is that sometimes doing the right thing doesn't necessarily pay off. For example ...

5 A Church Tries to Save an Oak Tree, Ends Up With a Dick Building

Chad Baker/Jason Reed/Ryan McVay/Photodisc/Getty

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A group of Christian Scientists found the ideal plot of land for their church. Only one thing stood in the way: a beautiful old oak tree. You know how this story goes: Never let nature get in the way of progress. Besides, if stupid trees are so great, then why did they allow themselves to be used to build the cross that Christ was crucified on, huh? But here the expected story takes a twist, and instead of calling the ancient wonder of nature mere collateral damage in the war for your very soul, the Christian Scientists redid the entire building to work around the tree.

Christian Science Dixon

It's an idea so heartwarming that the blueprints were actually drafted by puppies and kittens.

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The church members avoided a possible local backlash, respected the sanctity of the old tree, and at the same time created an environmentally friendly building that warms naturally in the winter without any costly heating. What's not to love?

The Backfire:

Here's what the building looks like from the sky, via Google Earth:

Google Earth

"No, it's uh ... a 'J' ... for 'Jesus' ... yeah."

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The aerial image of the Church of the Flaccid Cock went viral on the Internet after it was discovered by a local resident. To add to the hilarity, the church is located in "Dixon, Illinois." And the church's motto? "Rising up."

Proving once and for all that, if there is a God, he's definitely a Cracked reader.