So, let me get this straight.

Kim Kardashian and Emily Ratajkowski posted a joint topless nude selfie on Instagram this morning and we’re all meant to sit back, have a look at the black stripe over their boobs, their middle fingers in the air and that omnipresent bathroom mirror and say, “Oh, Thank God for female empowerment. How empowering. Just look at those two women empower. I need to get me some of these empowerment black strip things. Thank you Kimmy, you have made me see the empowerment light.”

Last time Kim K did this she tweeted that, “It’s so important that we let women express their sexuality and share their bodies.”

If it has to do with a woman and we put the words empowering, liberation and control in there, it’s all totally okay. Don’t go putting shade on that empowering female parade by “judging” Kimmy for getting her gear off. If you dare judge a woman who is exercising her God given nude empowerment you simply don’t get it. Just look at what Kim K said to Bette Midler when she questioned the last nude selfie:

hey @BetteMidler I know it's past your bedtime but if you're still up and reading this send nudes #justkidding — Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) March 8, 2016

It was rude, ageist and probably worst of all humorless, but totally okay because Kim has better boobs than Bette. And Kim’s boobs are empowered. And Kim is nude so she definitely knows what she is talking about.

Have a think for a second. Please. Kim K in another nude selfie is not empowering for women. Stop using the word empowering when you really mean marketing. They are not interchangeable words just as burgundy does not mean the same thing as table.

In this Instagram snap are two international celebrities who have both got a lot of things to sell – products, movies, themselves mainly. They have had $100,000s of dollars invested into the way they look (from cosmetic and surgical procedures to stylists, clothes, hair, eyebrows, everything and anything). And the way they look is largely dictated to by what men find attractive. So all that control over their bodies? Men are pulling the levers at the very start of the chain. They have personal trainers and dietitians, they starve their bodies and pump certain parts up, maybe because it makes them feel good, but most probably because their bodies need to look a certain way so they can market themselves and earn more money.

When you're like I have nothing to wear LOL pic.twitter.com/UlSLZb1fp1 — Kim Kardashian West (@KimKardashian) March 7, 2016

Take a good, close look at the latest Instagram pic. Look at the floor light to the right. Can you see it? It’s to the left of the boobs. Some little assistant has run down a hallway to the lounge-room and run back breathless with this light because the bathroom fluoros really wreaked havoc on Kim and Emily’s spray tans. This was not taken in the heat of a female empowerment moment. Do you really think the conversation went something like this between Kim and Emily?

KIM: “Great to see you Em, it’s so, literally, cool, we like, just hang out all the time and like, hang out.”

EMILY: “Yeah, it is great, that I’m just here because we, just like, hang out all the time.”

K: “Hey, you know what I’m feeling beside hungry? I’m just feeling really liberated and proud of my, like, sexuality because I’m a modern woman and no one can tell me what to do with my body.”