Zeigham Khokher in New Orleans.

Children ages 18, 13 and 12

We try to instill in them that they should stay strong. However, as a concerned parent, I nevertheless encourage them not to discuss faith with anyone.

I tell my kids that they have nothing to be ashamed of, they have no responsibility for people they do not know in places they have never been to. We emphasize that our Islam, the one that serves as a foundation for our life, shares nothing with such barbarism.

Show Not Tell

Edlyn Sammanasu in Fremont, Calif.

Children ages 8, 5 and 3

I don’t need to talk to them about extremists. I need to show them what Muslims believe and how it affects our daily lives in good ways and how it affects others in good ways. I show them that Allah loves us, to be generous with our money, our charity, and our kindness. I show them that it’s important to be helpful to our neighbors and our elders. I show them all the good that we’re supposed to do is good for us and each other.

Hopefully (God-willing) my kids will see what Islam teaches and what it means to be Muslim from us and NOT from terrorists. Mostly, I want my kids to be confident Muslims who understand their religion, practice their religion, and are proud to be Muslim AND American. It is possible. I know. It’s true in me.

Make Lots of Friends

“NS” in Lake Oswego, Ore.

Children ages 9, 6, and twins who are 23 months

I remind my two eldest that I was born and raised in America and that we have nothing to fear. I remind them to be good, smile and make lots of friends. Their friends will always know what a good person you are.

I also tell them that everyone struggles for one thing or another and I give them examples of our own struggles. I tell them we need to learn how to overcome our struggles or try to wait them out.

Be Patient

Ahmed Kozanoglu in East Troy

Children ages 10 and 8

I tell them to be patient when they get bullied every day because of their identity at school, and when their teachers tell them to “deal with it.”