Martin Scorsese’s latest film The Wolf of Wall Street may have caused widespread controversy across much of the world for its depiction of white-collar debauchery and excessive swearing, but cinemagoers in the Middle East have admitted that they’re baffled by all the fuss.

“I went to see [The Wolf of Wall Street] this morning expecting to be absolutely horrified, but nothing.. not even a raised eyebrow,” said Shelina Mackie, a trainee yoga teacher in Abu Dhabi. “That stuff about orgies and drugs was obviously just a clever marketing ploy. It certainly fooled me.”

Khaldoon E. Chang, a retired baker in Dubai, said the promise of a record 506 uses of the word ‘fuck’ in the film was never met.

“There wasn’t even one! Every time DiCaprio opened his mouth and it felt like it was going to come out, there was just silence. Utter lies.”

Chang also admitted that, despite the rave reviews the film has received from critics, he felt The Wolf Of Wall Street was somewhat disjointed.

“I know Scorsese is supposed to be a cinema maestro, but to me the scenes just didn’t seem to flow together and it was sometimes quite jumpy and confusing,” he said.

“And all that talk about it being a three-hour epic was completely unjustified. I was in and out in under 40 minutes. To be honest, I think Marty has lost it.”