Let’s assume you’re planning to watch the Golden Globes on Sunday with 20 million of your closest friends. You’ve got either your snazziest duds or your comfiest jammies picked out; your snack situation is squared away; and you’ve devised your plan of attack on social. Now, you could record every second of the show and keep your head on a swivel to make sure you don’t miss anything, or you can peruse this cheat sheet of five things to buzz about during the boozy soiree.

1. The dresses

No offense dudes, but like the old song (sorta) goes: You’re all wearing ticky-tuxes and you all look just the same. So it comes down to the ladies to add glamour and sizzle, and blessed be the Fashion Gods, we have a prayer: Please, Keepers of the Thread, let Jennifer Lopez don another viral showstopper, let Cate Blanchett be every bit as crisp as she was in Carol, and grant Lady Gaga the strength to be as architectural as the Beverly Hilton itself. Amen.

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2. The dates

We can’t wait to meet Amy Schumer’s new man, Ben Hanisch – and hear what Schumer has to say about him. Plus, will presenter Kate Hudson engage in any PDA with Nick Jonas, whose show Mozart in the Jungle is nominated? Who is Brad Pitt‘s secret celebrity plus-one? Are there any Hollywood couples who hooked up – or put a ring on it – over the holidays?

3. The Schu-Law Show

They’re BFFs, they’re writing a movie together and they’ve even threatened to wear the same dress. Amy Schumer and Jennifer Lawrence could be the big act of the night, which might make host Ricky Gervais just a wee bit nervous. Look for these two to be the center of attention as the show comes in and out of commercial breaks. They may even take their act onstage, in which case the censors should hover over the bleep button like a blimp over a football game.

4. The newsmakers

Between Eddie Redmayne‘s impending fatherhood and Dwayne Johnson‘s new baby, expect plenty of red-carpet questions about spitup. And will Amy Adams dish on the carpet about her super secret nuptials last year? Amidst all those happy tidings, please send support Jim Carrey‘s way as he presents at his first Hollywood event since the death of his ex-girlfriend, Cathriona White, last October.

5. The nominees

Lest we forget that this is a horse race, please keep your tallies of who’s up and who’s down on the Awards Season Big Board of Winnahs and Also-Rans. The categories are all tight, but if Leonardo DiCaprio wins for The Revenant, look for him to spring to the front of the Oscar line – and the same for Blanchett. If she wins for Carol it could mean that Brie Larson won’t be the Oscar Cinderella. If Spotlight bests Carol, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Revenant and Room, then it sits way out ahead in the best picture race for the Academy Award. But The Big Short could be strong competition if it pulls away in its (admittedly easier) comedy category. In other words, when we stumble away from this awards show, folks, we might have a little something known as clarity. And a hangover.