Malcolm Pawlak, 43

I moved in last summer as a live-in assistant, sharing a house with people with learning disabilities. I had met Kathy briefly some years ago, but got short shrift when I mentioned it, as she was adamant we hadn’t.

L’Arche is home to a diverse group of people, a huge range of natures, abilities and backgrounds, so you’re constantly challenged. You’re forced to confront things that you don’t like about yourself – insecurities, prejudices – over and over again.

There’s also a lot of room for misunderstanding. One of the things I admire most about Kathy is, if we get upset with each other, it’s amazing how swiftly it’s resolved. She’s very straightforward and honest about how she’s feeling. That can be difficult, but it’s also refreshing. If everyone was like that, the world would be a better place.

Kathy Kelly, 59

I moved into L’Arche when my mum died five years ago. Now she’s gone, I feel a bit upset and angry sometimes, but not alone. I feel I’m loved here, by Malcolm and the six others we share with. It’s my home now.

I like Malcolm a lot – he’s a good friend. I say odd things to try to make him laugh. Sometimes I can hear him singing in the bathroom next door to my bedroom, and I knock on the wall and he knocks back. He makes lovely food. On Sundays he does roast dinners. I peel potatoes for him. He asks me to help clear up, but sometimes I don’t listen, which means we don’t get on for a bit. I lose my temper so quickly and snap. But I say sorry; then we can talk again.

I think Malcolm is learning from me and I’m learning from him.

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