I understand that the Romney campaign is looking for ways to make the GOP nominee more relatable. But someone should really tell the folks over there that all the stories of Mitt’s frugal ways that they’re happily spreading around actually serve to make him sound like a complete loon. Even worse, they reinforce the concern that underlies questions about Romney’s tax returns—that he doesn’t want to pay his fair share.

Both the Washington Post and GQ ran pieces over the weekend highlighting the extent of Romney’s fabled frugality: He uses duct tape to fix things, he built a brick passageway rather than hire a contractor for the job, he only downloads free apps for his iPad. The stories are fascinating, but not in the way the Romney camp intends. Because jam-packing your garbage bags to avoid paying extra per-bag fees and yet building a car elevator for your $12-million beachfront home isn’t charming. It’s pathological.

(It’s worth noting that Romney’s father, George, from whom he supposedly inherited this miserly trait, was equally inconsistent, extolling the virtue of flying coach while living in a sprawling mansion with live-in help in their own separate quarters.)

We get it—Romney’s not a spoiled rich boy who takes his wealth for granted. (Not like that Ted Kennedy, against whom it is easy to imagine Romney is still running.) He has enough of these frugal quirks that it’s obviously not for show and must make him a bit annoying to be around. But no matter how many oven vents Romney alters with aluminum foil, he can’t run away from the image he fears. That’s because he insists on taking his wealth for granted.

In the 47% video, Romney repeated a claim he makes often—that he inherited nothing, because he and Ann gave away the money their parents left them. While technically true, the claim ignores the whole boatload of assets Romney did inherit, starting with an education at the finest private schools and continuing through the stock income that supported him through graduate school. The Obamas talk about paying off student loans for decades; the Romneys reminisce about the days when “we had no income except the stock we were chipping away at.”