ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Two local parents are reportedly livid this morning after their privately-educated son managed to secure a good job based upon his own merits.

Wanda and Jerome Watson, of Grenache Street in Betoota Grove, say they’ve been swindled by The Whooton School to the tune of almost $250 000 – and they want it back.

The controversy began when Alex Watson, a former pupil of the school, failed to secure a place at a sandstone university.

“That was the first straw,” said Jerome.

“We didn’t pay all that money for our son to be a fuck up. Not in my wildest dreams did I think he’d attend a tertiary institution with more gum trees than London planes!”

“It was horrible,” echoed Wanda.

“He left that school without a single good connection and we fell out with him after he told us he didn’t want to be a lawyer like his father, or a doctor like my father. It was a tough time but this is the final straw.”

The parents filed proceedings against Whooton in the Betoota Local Court this morning after their son told them he’d landed a job as a diesel mechanic after his 4-year apprenticeship at a local uranium mine.

“He got that job without even so much as a personal reference from me,” said Jerome.

“I didn’t even need to make a call or ask a favour. This is disgusting and it’s not what I paid for. Alex has nothing to be proud of, he should be ashamed that he’s gone behind our backs on this. I spoke to his new boss, who said Alex was the best candidate for the job, which is why he hired him. It nearly made me vomit into my Apple Watch!”

“We’ve commenced legal action against the school to recoup our losses on our son. He could’ve gone to the local high school had we known he wanted to work with his hands for a living.”

The Advocate spoke exclusively to Alex regarding his parent’s plan to sue his old school.

The softly-spoken 24-year-old said that he just enjoys working outside with the sun on his back and that he doesn’t harbour any resentment toward his parents – he saves it for alma mater.

“I think using the school is a bit much, I mean, it’s got our family in the media which is fucked,” he said.

“But yeah, look. I probably didn’t need to go to Whooton. It’s a school run by fuck heads for fuck heads. But it’s not like I had any say in the matter, Mum and Dad would’ve been laughed out of the yacht club if they sent me to the high school,”

“And I’ve got the hand-eye of a stoned panda so I wasn’t getting a scholarship. Anyway, this job rocks and they’re expanding into Bolivia next year, opening another mine or something and they want me to go – and I’m sure as shit going.”

More to come.