by Whitney Kahn

One bright summer night up in the north pole

Elves worked making toys, with body and soul.

They worked all year round, making children’s worlds bright,

And plus, Big Red’s wrath had them cowering with fright.

“Work faster! Work harder! Absolutely no breaks!

And don’t you dare make even a single mistake!

If it weren’t for me, you’d have nowhere to go.

You would freeze to death in the ice and the snow!”

“Well said, you’re so right,” said Bacsy the Elf

Who always looked out only for himself.

So on they went working with sore hands and blisters,

Hoping not to anger their pot-bellied mister.

The elves don’t sleep you see, they’re of such great use

As year after year they put up with abuse.

Elf magic, fueled by cheer, can heal burns, cuts and sores,

So just five minutes later, they’re ready for more.

But there was this one elf, Nenil was her name

Who was done with endlessly working in pain.

“He beats us, berates us, just because we’re little,”

She whispered as she finished up on a fiddle.

“He works one measly day while we work all year,

And he claims to spread magical Christmas cheer!?

It’s our sweat and blood that fills his big toy sacks,

All of this magic cheer is built on our backs!”

“Of course that’s all true, but what can be done?”

Asked another elf, “there’s nowhere to run!

All the exits are always guarded by reindeer

There’s no getting past them, please don’t be insane, dear.

And don’t forget Bacsy the snitch in our ranks.

If we’re caught, we’ll get dipped in hot fudge, no thanks!”

“You’re scared, I am too,” said Nenil the elf,

Thinking of others as much as herself.

“But what if we downed tools, didn’t run, but we stayed,

And refused to work until we were at least paid.”

“Then the toys won’t get made,” said Bacsy the elf,

Who at that moment spoke only for himself.

*Clang!* went the hammers as they dropped to the floor,

And a *Bang!* as Big Red slammed open the door.

“What’s all of this racket, or should I say lack thereof!?

I hear none of the noises that I so very love.

No hammering, no heaving, no sawing, no screaming.

Instead you’re all idle? And why are you all beaming!?”

“We’re beaming,” said Nenil, “you big lazy jerk

’Cause we’re done being slaves doing all of your work!

We will get paid,” she said to Big Red’s big glower.

“Without us you’re nothing — the elves have the power!”

“Without me you’re nothing, wipe that look off your face!

Red bellowed, “you rats have to remember your place!”

Elf power, huh? Who fed you that lie?

Now get back to work!” But no one batted an eye.

He got red through and through, waiting for action,

But seeing that his threats were getting no traction.

“Mark my words, I’ll be back,” Red yelled. “You’ll regret this day!”

But he left with just Bacsy, and the rest yelled, “Hooray!”

They danced on the tables, they swung from the rafters,

And for the first time there were smiles and laughter!

All through the night, they strategized and they planned

How to deal with Big Red’s merciless command.

“We produce toys. Toys produce cheer,”

Nenil said. “It’s totally clear!

Big Red needs magic cheer to make reindeer fly.

Without it, he’s just an old, angry, fat guy!

Why shouldn’t we keep it for all of our elf-needs

Cheer is more than just for when somebody bleeds.

With more cheer we could have all the toys make themselves

It would finally spell freedom for us hard-working elves.

And haven’t you noticed? The north pole’s getting hot!

Enough cheer could magically stop it on the spot!

We could have hobbies, healthy families, and more,

Our future’s bright if we shove open the door!

But with Big Red in charge we’re all doomed, that’s a fact.

So I say let’s take over, and give him the sack!”

“But we can’t fight, it’s so tragic,” said one tiny elf.

“He’s got reindeer and magic, all we have is ourselves.”

But Nenil was on it, and with a wham and three cracks

She carved out a razor-sharp candy cane axe!

“We can build, let’s get going, now don’t be thrifty!

Here is one axe, but let’s make thirty or fifty.

Let’s make gumdrop sludge bombs, and a fudge cannon, too.

Big Red’s got nothing on what little elves can do.”

They toiled for hours ‘till they were well armed,

Determined they would never again be harmed.

But in stormed Big Red with snarling reindeer in tow

And the most bone-chilling, earth-shaking “Ho, ho, ho.

What have we here, an elf revolution?

Ha ha ha, well here’s some restitution.

For your treacherous crimes, Nenil, you will answer.

Bring her, dead or alive. On Dasher, on Dancer!”

Dasher rammed her with antlers as he answered Red’s call

And Nenil looked so little pinned up against the wall

All the elves froze in shock, none of them were trained fighters

They’d all die to this flock of blood thirsty biters!

“Now forget these ‘demands’ and get back to your task.

The next time you want something, here’s a tip — don’t ask!”

“We won’t,” said Bacsy’s voice from behind Big Red.

“We have the power, so we’ll take it instead!”

Flush with magic cheer, out stepped Bacsy the Elf

Who for the first time thought not just of himself.

“Sa-zoom!” he yelled, and Dasher’s antlers shrank down

And Dancer’s whole face transformed into a clown.

The stunned reindeer dropped Nenil as their jaws fell slack.

Bacsy healed all her wounds, and the elves — they were back!

They launched the fudge canons and chased Big Red away,

And the elves were never abused after that day.

They raided Red’s storage and sang many a song,

And found enough cheer to be comfy all year long.

The toys made themselves, fueled by the extra cheer,

And before they knew it, Christmas time was here.

They sent toys all over the world on that night,

To children of all religions, what a sight!

And to each with parents who were forced to work

Hard and long hours for some big lazy jerk,

They added a letter, and had this to say,

“Dear friends, today is the dawn of a new day.

Big Red is gone and in the north pole we are free.

No more is forced labor waiting under your tree.

We drove out our boss and no longer live in fear.

We hope that this news and these toys bring you cheer.

We’ll stand with you when you rise like we did for ourselves.

Merry Christmas to all! In solidarity, The elves.”