Australia did what they came here to do. And by the time England’s resistance finally ran out at 2.15pm on a Monday afternoon, it felt as routine and perfunctory as signing a cheque: victory in the fifth Test sealed by an innings and 123 runs, the series won 4-0, the sport’s oldest rivalry comprehensively settled for the time being.

As Steve Smith’s side milked the applause from a largely empty SCG, they had every reason to feel satisfied with their efforts. They have done an outstanding and at times a ruthless job on England, sending them back to the mother country with nothing but bruises. We have been privileged to watch one of their greatest batsmen of all time at the peak of his powers. And their four-man attack, disciplined and aggressive, are not disgraced by comparison with their 2006/07 and 2013/14 counterparts. Between them Pat Cummins, Josh Hazlewood, Mitchell Starc and Nathan Lyon took every single England wicket to fall this series.

It was Hazlewood who struck the final blow, dismissing James Anderson to bring up the curtain on Australia’s celebrations. Anderson wanted to review the decision, but was told England had none left. Back in the dressing room, captain Joe Root did not emerge, having been forced to abort his innings with a viral bug. There were reports that he was asleep. You couldn’t blame him, really.

The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Show all 27 1 /27 The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures The Ashes Fifth Test Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures AFP The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures AFP The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures AFP The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - JANUARY 06: Usman Khawaja of Australia celebrates after reaching his century during day three of the Fifth Test match in the 2017/18 Ashes Series between Australia and England at Sydney Cricket Ground on January 6, 2018 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Ryan Pierse/Getty Images) Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - JANUARY 06: Steve Smith of Australia leaves the ground after being dismissed by Moeen Ali of England during day three of the Fifth Test match in the 2017/18 Ashes Series between Australia and England at Sydney Cricket Ground on January 6, 2018 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Ryan Pierse/Getty Images) Getty Images The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - JANUARY 06: Stuart Broad of England juggles the ball with his feet during day three of the Fifth Test match in the 2017/18 Ashes Series between Australia and England at Sydney Cricket Ground on January 6, 2018 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images) Getty Images The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - JANUARY 06: Usman Khawaja of Australia raises his bat as he leaves the ground after being dismissed for 171 runs during day three of the Fifth Test match in the 2017/18 Ashes Series between Australia and England at Sydney Cricket Ground on January 6, 2018 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Ryan Pierse/Getty Images) Getty Images The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - JANUARY 06: Mason Crane of England celebrates dismissing Usman Khawaja of Australia during day three of the Fifth Test match in the 2017/18 Ashes Series between Australia and England at Sydney Cricket Ground on January 6, 2018 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Cameron Spencer/Getty Images) Getty Images The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA - JANUARY 06: Mitch Marsh and Shaun Marsh of Australia walk from the ground at stumps during day three of the Fifth Test match in the 2017/18 Ashes Series between Australia and England at Sydney Cricket Ground on January 6, 2018 in Sydney, Australia. (Photo by Ryan Pierse/Getty Images) Getty Images The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Day 5 Joe Root was forced to withdraw due to illness after reaching his 50. Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Day 5 Joe Root suffered from gastroenteritis overnight ahead of the fifth day. Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Day 5 Australia celebrate winning back the Ashes. Getty The Ashes Fifth Test in pictures Day 5 Steve Smith lifts the Urn to celebrate Australia winning the Ashes. Getty

And so England’s seven-week campaign to retain the Ashes ended in ignominy, confusion and disarray. It was a wholly predictable denouement, one you suspect was sealed some time before England arrived for the final day’s play without their captain. Root was laid low with gastroenteritis overnight, was taken to hospital with various uncontrollable bodily extrusions, and finally arrived at the SCG shortly after the start of play still wearing his hospital wristband.

He strode out gingerly at the fall of the fifth wicket, Moeen Ali LBW to Lyon in wholly predictable fashion, missing a straight one as he played down the wrong line. Looking in considerable discomfort, he ran weakly between the wickets, struggled to get any power behind his strokes. But he was able to guide the ball down through gully to reach his fifth half-century of the series, and as the ground generously acclaimed his courage, England all too briefly threatened a stout and heartwarming rearguard in the vein of Eddie Paynter at Brisbane in 1932/33.

But Root failed to return after lunch, stricken by a relapse of his illness, and the bottom fell out of England’s innings just as quickly. Jonny Bairstow was LBW to Cummins in wholly predictable fashion, missing a straight one as he tried to turn the ball to leg. Stuart Broad was caught behind in wholly predictable fashion, fending a short ball straight up in the air. Mason Crane was caught behind in wholly predictable fashion, gloving a vicious Cummins bouncer.

And so out walked Anderson, the ceremonial fall guy, the No 11 playing what in all likelihood would be his last international game in Australia. He was peppered by Cummins, almost bowled by one that kept low. He was hit by Starc, ending the series by cranking it up towards 90mph. He watched as Tom Curran hewed a couple of consolation boundaries. And then he was out, done up good and proper by a short one outside off-stump. He had given it everything, only to find himself hopelessly outclassed.

Joe Root was forced to withdraw due to illness after reaching his 50 (Getty)

Which, as it turned out, was a perfect metaphor for England’s tour. They could, if they want to, cling to a few grains of comfort. The superb Dawid Malan has nailed down a spot in the middle order; Craig Overton and Mason Crane have shown promise. They have taken all five Tests into a fifth day. They are yet to sack anybody for looking out of the window and whistling. Things are not quite as barrel-scrapingly bad as they were four years ago.

Joe Root suffered from gastroenteritis overnight ahead of the fifth day (Getty)

But a team as ambitious, lavishly-funded and – yes – talented as this England side should not be content with setting the bar that low. They may have taken all five games into a final day, but they have lost all five of those days. With the exception of a handful of baking days, the weather has been temperate, mild, almost English. They cannot blame conditions. They cannot blame the coin; Root won four tosses out of five. They could blame Ben Stokes, although you very much doubt he would have been able to get Smith out either.

No, England can blame nobody but themselves here. The lack of spin bowlers, the lack of genuine pace, the lack of disciplined batsmen, the lack of resolve: we have been discussing all this ad nauseam over the last few weeks. There can be no guarantees in 2019, either: while England are devoting their energies to a home World Cup, Australia’s No 1 priority will be winning on English soil for the first time in 18 years.

Australia celebrate winning back the Ashes (Getty)