The Pill: JPMorgan Chase Now Funds Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez & We’re Here For It!

by Shauna Jo Watson and Becky T. Chavez

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez shocked the political establishment when she beat Rep. Joe Crowley for the Democratic nomination for her district’s congressional seat. The victory of the self-described Democratic Socialist has inspired and energized many Americans who are tired of Trump as well as tired of establishment politicians, whether Republican or Democrat.

We here at The WOKE Collective, and especially The Pill, are all about transparency and holding people to account, and so we decided to find out more about this 28 year-old yass queen. While perusing the VoteSmart.org website, we decided to put the soon-to-be Representative Ocasio-Cortez under the microscope. What we found gave us extraordinary hope for the future.

Something Anti-Corporate. Source: Vote Smart

Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has done the impossible. She has managed to get JPMorgan Chase to donate to her campaign as one of her top donors! Who would have thought that bank would have common cause with the Justice Democrats, an organization that wants to get rid of corporate influence in politics?

There can only be one interpretation — Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has convinced JPMorgan Chase, a huge investment bank, into her socialist cause! This is a tectonic shift. Everything we thought about investment banksters could possibly be wrong.

Looking back through press releases and donation records, you can actually see the transformation slowly take place. Take, for instance, the two million dollars donated to help solve the refugee crisis in Europe. The future of Europe is brown and black, that’s not up for debate. JPMorgan getting in on the “ground floor” of the future backbone of Europe’s workforce is not just a shrewd business decision, but an act of mercy and inclusion.

That spirit of mercy and inclusion is present in their American activities, too. Why? Just watch this interview with JPMorgan Chase CEO Jamie Dimon:

Clearly, immigrants tend to be better educated and start small businesses. You ever hear of “native-born” (aka white) people doing that? Nope. Clearly, without the help of those “undocumented,” there would be no jobs created in America. And yet the whites want to kick them out? Is this out of their jealousy for the undocumented’s high-educational achievement and entrepreneurial spirit; something the native whites simply lack? JPMorgan Chase is a bank that can see the beautiful multiethnic forest for the trees; trees that will be destroyed if Trump’s WHITE walkers have their way in this country.

A Trump-supporter heading to a Trump rally. Source: Wikipedia

JPMorgan Chase has helped maintain the beautiful forest that is America in the financial realm, too. Since 2000, they have given nearly 30 billion dollars to the American people. To call this almost-incomprehensible amount of money “reparations” for past misdeeds would be misleading; it’s really JPMorgan Chase’s way of redistributing their wealth to the rest of us. As Laurence Kotlikoff pointed out in Forbes:

“As Senator Warren has recently noted, it is a national shame that, eight years after the financial meltdown, not a single banker has gone to prison. But this is not an accident. As Chaitman and Gotthoffer explain in JPMadoff, the Wall Street firms have purchased control of law enforcement and Congress. Just check out the top campaign contributors to the House Financial Services Committee and Senate Banking Committee members.”

Woah, that means JPMorgan Chase has pumped in money to help law enforcement and Congress oversee our nation’s banking system! Without such help, we would certainly still be in the George W. Bush-induced hell that was 2008. We most certainly would not be talking about Democratic Socialism now if JPMorgan Chase had not gifted such enormous contributions to American society, that’s for sure.

Per Se is bourgeois bullshit. Source: The Intercept

JPMorgan Chase clearly sees the interest of the American people as their top priority. Therefore, why else would they donate to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez? Why else other than to create the positive change this world needs? Why else than to “divest” themselves of their privilege, and invest it in a strong, driven, Latinx woman?

Whether it is her bold position to keep Israel accountable, her prodigal grasp of America’s unemployment problem, her quest to expose the brutal thugs in ICE, or her amazing efforts to turn Kansas City into a Democrat stronghold, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez has the strong leadership and vitality that only she and other young upstart Socialists can bring. JPMorgan Chase knows this, and together with her expertise and the bank’s history of strong ethics, they will change America in the most woke af way possible!

Democratic Socialism has finally arrived in America, and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is the fierce, lionhearted leader of it. ✊

“Middle fingers up, put them hands high. Wave it in his face, tell him boy, bye.” — Beyoncé 💅🏻 Source: Zero Hedge

If you haven’t already, please read our older articles to awaken your mind to more ways to fight injustice. We come out with new articles regularly, so stay tuned, because the outrage never stops!