He's as shocked as I am.

Duke Nukem 3D was good but Duke Nukem Forever wasn't, so I wonder what would happen if DNF received the DN3D treatment?

This: Duke Nukem Forever 2013.

Modders Mikko Sandt and Gambini took the bull*** by the horns and re-imagined DNF as a Duke 3D mod. It's not entirely remade, as PC Gamer pointed out, but the archaic slap and tickle of Duke Nukem sure fits the Duke 3D template more naturally.

Toddle over to the Mikko Sandt Duke Nukem website to find and download the mod. There are instructions about how to install it there, too.

Gearbox's "gruesomely mangled resurrection" that was Duke Nukem Forever came out in 2011, putting an end to the game's ridiculous 14-year development.

Our lovely Ian Higton videoed his adventures in Duke Nukem Forever 2013 for your viewing pleasure.