The Daily Caller’s Patrick Howley published a column today about how cool and subversive and authentic gay culture used to be, before they started to demand things like equal rights and legal recognition of their marriages. Howley explains:

Gayness used to be pretty awesome, according to alternative literature from the period 1954-78. Back in the day, gays were subversive adventurers, trolling the city streets at night on a lustful quest for experience and with an outlaw mentality not seen since the days of the Wild West.

No more!

The progressives hosed all of that activity down. The progressives have filled the back-alley glory holes with MoveOn.org petitions. They have condemned clubs named "The Toilet" and erected phone-banking opera—

Hold up. Wait. “Back-alley glory holes”? The author clarified on Twitter:

@jbarro Where is a glory hole supposed to be, Josh? Out in the middle of the public square? Of course they were in back alleys! — Patrick Howley (@PatrickHowleyDC) November 8, 2013

@Ray_Harmon @jbarro I've not only heard of, but also seen, glory holes in back alleys constructed from cardboard — Patrick Howley (@PatrickHowleyDC) November 8, 2013

To be fair, Howley says he’s down with gay people:

Now, let me be clear. I love the gays. I have gay friends, gay mentors, gay acquaintances and associates. In fact, many people even assume that I am gay. [...] I can’t even walk around DuPont Circle on early autumn evenings or interact with male bank tellers without getting eyed down like a side of ribs.

“I only get it," Howley writes, cutely, “because I’m skinny and I look like I’d be a bottom.”

[Photo via PatrickHowley.net]