Have you watched Terrace House yet? The Japanese reality show has inspired several Twitter accounts and memes, and earned a devoted audience with its gentle rhythms and barely-there drama. Get in the know with ELLE.com: We're celebrating the Netflix favorite all this week.

Terrace House, the charming Netflix Japanese reality show, has captured the hearts of people around the globe. It has many differentiating factors from western reality TV, but watching the most recent series in the franchise, Terrace House: Opening New Doors, I was struck by how the men—from Taka, the soft-hearted snowboarder, to Shohei, the romantic jazz singer—defied stereotyped American notions of masculinity.

Studies show that Asian men are perceived as more “feminine” in comparison to other racial groups in the United States, often putting them at a disadvantage in, for example, heterosexual dating market. But Terrace House humanizes Asian men by demonstrating their full range of emotions, behaviors, and talents in a context where this isn't considered detrimental to their masculinity. Professor Teja Arboleda, founder of Entertaining Diversity, Inc., has lived both in Japan and the United States; he tells me that the qualities of “being loud and bold doesn't make a man more attractive” in Japan, where men are discouraged from showing off and standing out. With the show's international audience, the show's attractive and sensitive Japanese male stars are potentially broadening how American audiences view East Asian men.

Netflix

While U.S. audiences are seeing more men express a wider range of emotions, especially crying, on shows like Queer Eye and This Is Us, Asian men rarely appear on such shows. In fact, Asian Americans remain relatively unseen on U.S. television—missing from 64% of all shows. Some Hollywood casting directors even believe that Asian actors are “not very expressive,” thereby limiting them to one-dimensional roles.

Consequently, the emotional vulnerability and expressiveness of the men on Terrace House stand out to U.S. audiences. Viewer Kiki Intarasuwan observed on Twitter how the Japanese men on Terrace House are “unafraid to express their emotions." Pro athlete Takayuki Nakamura gets to show off his aerial snowboarding jumps, but also cries profusely in front of his housemates, especially when one of them leaves. The combination of Taka’s athleticism and emotional vulnerability expands perceptions of Asian men beyond the “geek” and “tech nerd” stereotypes in U.S. popular culture. Notably, the men are not critiqued by their peers for these emotional displays, but remain attractive dating prospects. For example, Aya, a 20-year-old university student, pursues Taka as a love interest from day one of her arrival.

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character. He seems at first glance the most "masculine" -- athletic, tan, muscular, stoic, but he cries the most when someone leaves. Shohei is so sensitive and emotional -- a lot of it comes out in his work. I think there was an episode when the commentators said something — Melissa Acedera (@mellemusic) October 16, 2018

As well as their free-flowing tears, the men of Terrace House are open in their physical affection for one another. Shohei is a professional singer who is “very passionate,” according to the show’s commentators (a team of comedians and TV personalities who watch the footage and make witty and insightful observations). Shohei grows close to Taka, whom he considers an “older brother.” Immediately after finding out that two of his housemates (Shion and Tsubasa) are officially dating, Shohei tearfully hugs Taka, saying, “I’m so happy!”

Netflix

The men can also be very expressive in conveying romantic interest. Taka dramatically shaves his habitual mustache to look more youthful after Ami (11 years his junior) tells him she wishes he was “five years younger.” Shion (a professional model), with a bouquet of flowers in hand, professes his feelings for Tsubasa (the captain of a local ice hockey team) on Valentine’s Day. Shohei plans an elaborate proposal at a church just to ask Seina (a fun-loving model and repeat Terrace House member) to be his girlfriend. When Seina rejects his offer, Shohei decides to leave the show, but not before giving a private concert at the house that leaves everyone in storms of tears.

Netflix

The men also care for one another in familial ways. As mentioned, Taka plays the older-brother role in the household, from mentoring the younger members to giving snowboarding lessons. This is especially the case with Yuudai, a 19-year-old aspiring chef who sleeps with stuffed animals and wants a girlfriend who will “do everything” for him. Despite Yuudai's behavior ruffling feathers in the house, Taka bonds with him over a shared desire to make their fathers proud. He gives the younger man career and relationship advice, explaining that he should be more considerate of his ex-girlfriend's feelings. Similarly, Shion—who is half-American—tells Yuudai that making Ami (a university student and aspiring model) feel bad after a disastrous date is “not very manly.” This definition of manliness explicitly incorporates empathy—an aspect of masculinity less visible in American popular culture.

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pic.twitter.com/wry1Wv3Qed — Terrace house out of context (@TerraceHouseOOC) May 5, 2018

As might be expected, this different model of masculinity elicits different responses in male American viewers. The kindness the men showed to one another stood out to a Chinese American male viewer, who told me via email he was pleasantly surprised to see men care for rather than insult and prank one another. In contrast, viewer Brent Ida told me via text that he found it “super weird” that the men would “help each other with girls that both of them wanted to go out with.” He thought Taka, despite coming off as “quite a gentleman,” lacked assertiveness when he gave Yuudai tips on how to date Ami, a shared love interest.



While the men show an array of emotions and empathy, they also participate in a more familiar culture of objectifying women’s bodies. When Taka and Yuudai are alone in the spa together, they talk about wanting to see Mizuki, a freelance writer and lingerie model/vendor, in lingerie. After Mayu, an “erotic swimsuit model” arrives, there is a scene of Shohei and Shion zooming in on photos of her on a smart phone. Even the commentators discuss Mayu’s breasts, predicting that all of the men will be interested in her. And for the most part, the ways men and women are expected to behave in heterosexual relationships (there has only been one openly queer house member so far) correspond with traditional norms—Mayu is told that she’s too aggressive in pursuing suitors, while couples usually only form after the male partner formally asks a woman to be his partner.

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But one relationship that muddles those gender norms is the coupling of Shion and Tsubasa. Shion, with his stylish fashion, domestic interests (cooking, cleaning), and big emotions, draws a label of “feminine” from the Terrace House commentators. “I model and I’m a housewife,” he proudly proclaims. In contrast, Tsubasa, the captain of her hockey team, looks perpetually comfortable in baggy athletic clothing. Her own father, after finding out Shion and Tsubasa are officially a couple, expresses surprise that she found love and remarks that “she’s like a boy”—Shion agrees that there is a “boyish side to her.” Shion respects and supports Tsubasa’s professional goals throughout the series while Tsubasa expresses affection with thoughtful gestures, like buying him a gift from Tokyo and surprising him for his birthday.

Netflix

They capture the hearts of everyone, even the commentators: While they had predicted that Shion would be sidetracked by Mayu, they apologize for getting “overly excited over breasts” after Shion expresses his feelings for Tsubasa. Traditional labels of “feminine” and “boyish” dissolve somewhat as audiences recognize that Shion and Tsubasa expand such limited classifications. Rather, their relationship of mutual respect and consideration demonstrates how men and women can fall in love outside the shackles of toxic masculinity and sexual objectification.

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pic.twitter.com/BJz7JfbdX6 — Terrace house out of context (@TerraceHouseOOC) August 16, 2018

Terrace House "opens new doors" of masculinity—allowing audiences to see Japanese men display a full range of emotional expressions, male bonding, and empathy, qualities which differ from American standards that typically prioritize aggression and assertiveness. The beauty of Terrace House is that it expands the possibilities of what makes a man appealing; rather than labeling various traits as either masculine or feminine, we should see them as simply human characteristics. That's just, well, reality.

Nancy Wang Yuen Nancy Wang Yuen is a sociologist and pop culture geek.

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