Philip Fortenberry is a 6-foot 4-inch former Green Beret who was deployed to war zones in countries like the Philippines during the guerrilla insurgencies in the 1980s.

Even so, the survival expert who could spend days or weeks living off the land calls his childhood his toughest battle.

“My home was a war zone in some regards,” said Fortenberry, 56. “It wasn’t a physical war zone, but it was certainly an emotional one.”

His struggles finally found meaning when Fortenberry received what he calls a vision of what to do with his life: Become a pastor and and begin a ministry for teens with troubled pasts.

Now at Cornerstone Church on the far North Side, he advises parents needing help and also mentors young men in their teens and early 20s, most of them without father figures.

These young men are taken on wilderness excursions throughout the year to learn skills he gained during his time in the Army, like survival techniques, roping, fishing, hiking — how to be self-sufficient.

Fortenberry grew up in a one-story brick house with his mother, Mary, and brother, David, in the small town of Decatur, northwest of Dallas.

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His parents had a volatile relationship that saw his dad, Ansel, come and go from the house for years before the pair finally divorced when Fortenberry was 16.

Never being sure of when his father would be home, and the emotional distance his dad kept from him and his brother left Fortenberry with emotional scars that would take decades to heal: A sense of worthlessness, a lack of direction in life and the feeling he wasn’t a man’s man — all common consequences for boys who grow up without a father.

“We take men on incredible adventures,” Fortenberry said. “They start learning what it’s like to be in charge, to lead, to keep a group together.”

In mid-July, Fortenberry will embark on a monthlong trip to Alaska with teens who have lost their fathers in military service, also known as Gold Star children.

The problem of fatherlessness is big in the U.S., with more than a quarter of children, 27 percent, growing up without a dad, according to 2014 numbers from the National Fatherhood Initiative, a nonprofit that offers programs and resources to help kids build lasting relationships with father-like figures.

In San Antonio, almost a third of children, 32 percent, grow up fatherless.

I’m “equipping them with skills to make what I call a ‘cool dad,’” he said. “A dad that a kid wants to spend time with, to hang with.”

For Fortenberry, the road to healing was much harder than the one he hopes lies ahead for the young men he mentors.

He felt driven to make something of his life, but without the right emotional tools, his efforts were often thwarted. In 1978 he enrolled in Texas A&M University to study animal science.

In his tumultuous childhood, animals were a constant presence and a source of emotional comfort — his dog Dutchess often would come cuddle him in times of distress — and he wanted to be able to work with them and help them.

But Fortenberry dropped out shortly after his freshman year. The Army always was something he wanted to do, an experience that could validate his manhood, so he joined in 1981.

The service provided a structure and the skills to be independent that he desired. There, he excelled.

He went to Jump School for the U.S. Airborne, HALO school for parachutists and Pathfinder school.

He spent time in the 9th Infantry Division Scouts from 1982 to 1983, where he was a part of the Long Range Surveillance Unit that gathered intelligence from foreign countries in case of a war threat. Most important to him, Fortenberry received his Green Beret special forces degree in 1984.

“His entire career in the military was pushing and proving himself,” brother David said.

While in the Army in 1982, Fortenberry met and later married Judy Cook, who was studying at a college in Tacoma Washington.

“He was tall and handsome. He dressed like a cowboy and he was cordial,” Judy said. “He said ‘yes ma’am’ and ‘yes sir,’ and up in Washington you didn’t get many guys like that.”

Fortenberry’s charm is natural. He is able to connect with anyone in a room not because he acts nice, but because he genuinely wants to get to know them.

“People will just talk to him,” Judy said. “He can start a conversation and the people will just talk and talk. They’ll be like, ‘Wow, I can’t believe I’m telling you this. I’ve never told anyone this.’”

Fortenberry chose to leave the Army in 1985. The decision wasn’t easy; it was a job he said he dearly loved. But a lifetime in the Army could mean not having quality time with his wife.

Fortenberry saw how his father’s distance from the family caused turmoil in the marrriage, and he never wanted to end up like his father. So, despite the fact Judy and him were in great terms at the time, Fortenberry decided to think family first. When the idea to be honorably discharged was brought up to Judy, she saw where he was coming from.

“It made me very happy,” Judy said, “He didn’t want the same thing that happend to his dad. It made me feel good that he kind of chose me over the job that he really loved.”

He re-enrolled at Texas A&M and earned his bachelor’s degree in animal science and a master’s in agriculture.

Fortenberry then went to work as a ranch manager in various locations across the South, with his wife and son Ryan, who was born in 1991, in tow. By 1998, Fortenberry was working as a division manager for the famed King Ranch in South Texas, buying and selling commercial cattle and working the feedyard, among other duties.

“I had everything I would call the American dream. Money in the bank, wife and little child,” Fortenberry said.

But still, he was not at peace. Even if it seemed like it to those around him.

A devout Christian, Fortenberry turned to prayer to answer what he needed to do. One night, with Judy and Ryan asleep, Fortenberry prayed endlessly. What seemed like 1,000 prayers later, he got his answer. He had to reconcile with his father.

Fortenberry reached out to him in 1997. After decades of “a shell of a relationship,” the two were able to reconcile.

Six months later, his father died.

“I knew that God had done a lot for me with the reconciliation before my dad died,” Fortenberry said. “But I didn’t really think God could use a man like me.”

His guiding message came to him soon after, and he began taking boys on trips in January 1998.

His first trip was with about 10 boys he recruited from local church groups to a Oklahoma ranch he had managed called Valley Timbers. The survival trip included building debris huts for shelter with what was around them.

“I’m not one for parable,” Fortenberry said, “but everything you need is provided. Not only to build a debris hut, but everything you need in life.”

Since then, he’s taken more than 50 trips with some 200 to 300 young men. But as Fortenberry would tell you, “It’s not about the volume, it’s about the individual.”

“This is his passion,” Judy said. “He wants these boys to have what he didn’t have.”

Before Fortenberry arrived at Cornerstone in 2003, there was nothing quite like the mentorship he offers to young adults and teens. Barry Cessna, a video coordinator for the Sunday services and a member of Cornerstone for going on 38 years, has volunteered on nine trips with Fortenberry.

Like the teens Fortenberry works with now, Barry was touched by Fortenberry’s story when they first spoke 13 years ago. With Fortenberry’s guidance, Cessna worked through previous anger and family issues.

“It’s not what happening to you in life that defines you,” Cessna said. “It’s what you do to overcome that. God’s change my life, but he used Philip as a tool.”

Their most recent trip was to New Mexico on Father’s Day weekend. Fortenberry’s son, Ryan, now 26, has in many ways followed in his dad’s footsteps. He helps his dad with the trips, and also graduated from Texas A&M. He received his degree in agribusiness in 2014.

“Relationships are built on the time spent with one another,” Ryan said, and his dad spent a lot of time with him, teaching him to shoot, teaching him to love animals and the outdoors, and teaching him how to be a good father, too, one day.

“People are attracted to him like moths to a flame,” Ryan said. “There is no such thing as a perfect father. But I do half the job he did, I think I would have done good.”

The same guidance Fortenberry had for Ryan is helping young men today.

Tony Reese, 18, has been mentored by Fortenberry for more than 10 years, since they met at Reese’s middle school camp retreat.

Fortenberry was a guest speaker and was showing the kids how to build a fire and other basic survival skills. The first thing Reese noticed about Fortenberry was his authenticity. He was mentoring from a place of passion.

“He’s genuine about everything he does. He just really cares. You can see that,” Reese said.

Reese will be on the trip to Alaska with Fortenberry.

“It’s really invaluable what he’s doing,” Reese said.

Reese’s father, a soldier in Iraq in 2003, died when he was 5 years old. In middle school, Reese began to act out. His mother, Emily, introduced Reese to Fortenberry, and the lessons Reese has learned like leadership and outdoor skills has helped lead him to the path he is now.

Just Fortenberry’s being a fatherlike presense in his life, since many of his relatives don’t live nearby, has helped him. Reese knows someone always will be around. In the fall, Reese will head to San Antonio College.

While Fortenberry doesn’t claim to know what it feels to lose someone like in the case of Reese, he uses his military expertise and history with an absentee father to help teens build toward mental strength.

“I am absolutely became convinced that’s why I’m here,” he said. “Everything in me drives toward that.”

osanchez@express-news.net