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. The only reason Archie isn't exactly identical to his 1941 appearance is because printing technology evolved faster than his art style. Even in the future story lines of, Riverdale is so all-ages inoffensive that the boy in the bubble could have moved there instead of pulling a Catherine the Great and committing sensual suicide-by-horse.

ABC



"I have no immune system, so touching farm animals and having sex with a girl are obviously my first priorities.

Riverdale's relentless purity enhances the ridiculousness of the objections. There is no way to object to two consenting adults who love each other very much without sounding crazy, but that's a price the AFA is prepared to pay. The first option is to bring detailed descriptions of gay sex into Riverdale, in which case:

A) There's nothing wrong with gay sex, no matter how disgusted you are by the details you vigorously and repeatedly imagine;

B) There are already websites based on that, and they're already incredibly unofficial.

Probably not Archie Comics.



Now we know why they're OK with waiting so long.

The second method is bringing in a new invisible character from a different book to object, but that's not preaching morality, that's writing fan fiction. But when your favorite author has only released four books in the last two millenniums, you're going to get a lot of people writing their own fan fiction about how the characters would react to modern things that didn't exist when the canon was laid down.

Agencia Brasil



Moderator of the "God Adventures" fan-fic community.

When Archie is too progressive for you, that's how science identifies you as an earlier species. All those people asking questions about your protest aren't reporters, they're anthropologists trying to work out why you didn't die off before we became Homo sapiens. And if they said so, you'd be more upset about the "homo" part. Instead of evolving from monkeys like the rest of us, your only improvement is flinging shit metaphorically instead of physically. And since several species of monkey enjoy homosexuality and don't say anything, they're two steps ahead of the American Family Association.

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No homo (sapiens).

This is where the Internet gets involved and becomes brilliant: