"From the first minute of the first hour of the first day of my job," Aaron writes, "I knew I had an epic WTF on my hands."

"I spent a while writing up a 1,600-word long description of this system, only to realize it wasn’t nearly enough. So I kept going. 1,950 words… still not enough. 2,300 words… barely scratching the surface.

"At 3,000 words, I realized there was no way I would ever be able to describe this monster.And that’s when I came across this example from an app.config file. In as single line of code, it tells more than I could in a million words.

<add key="sqlSource" value=" SELECT TOP REPLACE_NUMBER_OF_ROWS_TO_RETRIEVE History.handle AS ID_FAX_LOG, CASE isnumeric(SUBSTRING (Notes_Doc.Text ,1,8)) WHEN 1 then SUBSTRING (Notes_Doc.Text ,1,8) ELSE NULL END AS ID_STAGE, DocumentUsers.UserName AS NM_DOCUMENTUSER_USERNAME, DocumentUsers.UserID AS TXT_DOCUMENTUSER_USERID, DocumentUserGroups.GroupID AS TXT_DOCUMENTUSERGROUP_GROUPID, Documents.UniqueID AS TXT_DOCUMENTS_UNIQUE_ID, History.TRDateTime AS DT_HISTORY_TRANSACTION_DATE, CASE COALESCE(HistoryPrint.handle,0) WHEN 0 THEN CASE COALESCE(HistoryGeneric.handle,0) WHEN 0 THEN CASE COALESCE(HistoryTRX.handle,0) WHEN 0 THEN '??' ELSE CASE (Documents.Flags & 0x10) WHEN 0 THEN 'Send' ELSE 'Recieve' END END ELSE CAST(HistoryGeneric_Short.Data AS varchar(32)) END ELSE 'Print' END AS TXT_TRANSACTION_TYPE, CASE COALESCE(HistoryPrint.handle,0) WHEN 0 THEN CASE COALESCE(HistoryGeneric.handle,0) WHEN 0 THEN CASE COALESCE(HistoryTRX.handle,0) WHEN 0 THEN '??' ELSE CASE Documents_Term.TermStatStr WHEN 'Success' THEN 'Success' ELSE 'Fail' END END ELSE CASE HistoryGeneric.ErrCode WHEN 0 THEN 'Success' ELSE 'Fail' END END ELSE CASE SUBSTRING(HistoryPrint.Msg,1,7) WHEN 'Success' THEN 'Success' ELSE 'Fail' END END AS TXT_TRANSACTION_STATUS, CASE COALESCE(HistoryPrint.handle,0) WHEN 0 THEN CASE COALESCE(HistoryGeneric.handle,0) WHEN 0 THEN CASE COALESCE(HistoryTRX.handle,0) WHEN 0 THEN '??' ELSE COALESCE(HistoryTRX_Term.TermStatStr,CONVERT(varchar,Documents.TermStat)) END ELSE REPLACE(REPLACE(CAST(HistoryGeneric_Detail.Data AS varchar(192)) ,'\t',''), '~u', HistoryGeneric.UserID ) END ELSE HistoryPrint.Msg END AS TXT_TRANSACTION_MESSAGE, CASE COALESCE(HistoryPrint.handle,0) WHEN 0 THEN CASE COALESCE(HistoryGeneric.handle,0) WHEN 0 THEN CASE COALESCE(HistoryTRX.handle,0) WHEN 0 THEN Documents.ElapsedSendTime ELSE CASE COALESCE(HistoryTRX.handle,0) WHEN 0 THEN Documents.ElapsedSendTime ELSE HistoryTRX.ElapsedTime END END ELSE NULL END ELSE HistoryPrint.TimeToPrint END AS NBR_TRANSACTION_ELAPSEDTIME, CASE COALESCE(HistoryGeneric.handle,0) WHEN 0 THEN CASE substring(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE (REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE( Documents.Destination,' ',''),')',''),'(',''), '-',''),'/',''),'.',''),'*',''),',',''),';',''), '\',''),'-',''),1,1) WHEN '1' THEN substring(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE( REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE( REPLACE(REPLACE( REPLACE(Documents.Destination,' ',''),')', ''),'(',''),'-',''),'/',''),'.',''),'*',''), ',',''),';',''),'\',''),'-',''), 2, len( REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE( REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE( REPLACE(REPLACE( REPLACE(Documents.Destination,' ',''),')', ''),'(',''),'-',''),'/',''),'.',''),'*','') ,',',''),';',''),'\',''),'-','')) ) ELSE REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE( REPLACE(REPLACE(REPLACE(Documents.Destination,' ',''),'-',''),')', ''),'(',''),'/',''),'.',''),'*',''),',',''),';',''),'\',''),'-','') END ELSE HistoryGeneric.UserID END AS TXT_TRANSACTION_DESTINATION, CASE (Documents.Flags & 0x8) WHEN 0 THEN 'N' ELSE 'Y' END AS NBR_DOCUMENTS_DELETED, CASE (Documents.Flags & 0x4) WHEN 0 THEN 'N' ELSE 'Y' END AS NBR_DOCUMENTS_VIEWED, /* Fax Destination */ Documents.ToName AS TXT_DOCUMENTS_TO_NAME, Documents.ToContactNum AS TXT_DOCUMENTS_TO_CONTACT_NUM, Documents.ToCompany AS TXT_DOCUMENTS_TO_COMPANY, Documents.ToCityState AS TXT_DOCUMENTS_TO_CITY_STATE, Documents.FaxDIDNum AS TXT_DOCUMENTS_FAX_DID_NUM, Documents.FromPhoneNum AS TXT_DOCUMENTS_FROM_PHONE_NUM, Documents.GeneralFaxNum AS TXT_DOCUMENTS_GENERAL_FAX_NUM, HistoryPrint.NetPrintID AS TXT_HISTORYPRINT_NETPRINTID, /* Number of pages */ DocFiles.NumPages AS NBR_DOCFILES_TOTAL_PAGE_COUNT, HistoryTRX.GoodPageCount AS NBR_HISTORYTRX_GOOD_PAGE_COUNT, HistoryTRX.BadPageCount AS NBR_HISTORYTRX_BAD_PAGE_COUNT, HistoryPrint.PagesPrinted AS NBR_HISTORYPRINT_PAGESPRINTED, HistoryPrint.CopiesPrinted AS NBR_HISTORYPRINT_COPIESPRINTED, /* location of fax image */ DTConfigurations.ServerName AS TXT_DOCFILES_SERVER_NAME, DTConfigurations.ImageDir AS TXT_DOCFILES_IMAGE_DIR, DocFiles.BodyFilename AS TXT_DOCFILES_BODY_FILENAME, Documents.FCSFile AS TXT_DOCFILES_FCS_FILE, REPLACE( DTConfigurations.ImageDir, 'D:\Data', '\\'+ServerName ) + '\'+DocFiles.BodyFilename+'*' AS TXT_DOCFILES_PATH_BODY_NAME, REPLACE( DTConfigurations.ImageDir, 'D:\Data', '\\'+ServerName ) + '\'+Documents.FCSFile+'*' AS TXT_DOCUMENTS_PATH_FCSFILE, Notes_Doc.Text AS TXT_NOTES_DOC_TEXT, Notes_CCList.Text AS TXT_NOTES_CCLIST_TEXT, DocumentUsers.RouteInfo AS TXT_DOCUMENTUSER_ROUTEINFO, DocumentUsers.RouteType AS NBR_DOCUMENTUSER_ROUTETYPE, DocumentUsers.EmailAddr AS TXT_DOCUMENTUSER_EMAILADDR, /* misc Documents data */ Documents.CreationTime AS DT_DOCUMENTS_CREATION_TIME, Documents.FRFlags2 AS NBR_DOCUMENTS_FRFLAGS2, Documents.Flags AS NBR_DOCUMENTS_FLAGS, Documents.ErrorCode AS NBR_DOCUMENTS_ERROR_CODE, Documents.TermStat AS NBR_DOCUMENTS_TERMSTAT, /* misc HistoryTRX data */ HistoryTRX.RemoteID AS TXT_HISTORYTRX_REMOTE_ID, HistoryTRX.RemoteServer AS TXT_HISTORYTRX_REMOTE_SERVER, HistoryTRX.Flags AS NBR_HISTORYTRX_FLAGS, HistoryTRX.TermStat AS NBR_HISTORYTRX_TERMSTAT, /* misc HistoryTRX data */ HistoryGeneric.ErrCode AS NBR_HISTORYGENERIC_ERRCODE, HistoryGeneric.GenType AS NBR_HISTORYGENERIC_GENTYPE, HistoryGeneric.UserID AS TXT_HISTORYGENERIC_USERID, /* Handles */ Documents.handle AS ID_DOCUMENTS_HANDLE, History.handle AS ID_HISTORY_HANDLE, HistoryTRX.handle AS ID_HISTORYTRX_HANDLE, HistoryGeneric.handle AS ID_HISTORYGENERIC_HANDLE, HistoryPrint.handle AS ID_HISTORYPRINT_HANDLE FROM Documents INNER JOIN Users DocumentUsers ON Documents.OwnerID = DocumentUsers.handle INNER JOIN History ON Documents.handle = History.Owner LEFT OUTER JOIN DocFiles ON Documents.DocFileDBA = DocFiles.handle LEFT OUTER JOIN Groups DocumentUserGroups ON DocumentUsers.GroupID = DocumentUserGroups.handle LEFT OUTER JOIN HistoryPrint ON HistoryPrint.handle = History.handle LEFT OUTER JOIN HistoryGeneric ON HistoryGeneric.handle = History.handle LEFT OUTER JOIN Notes Notes_Doc ON Notes_Doc.handle = Documents.NoteDBA LEFT OUTER JOIN Notes Notes_CCList ON Notes_CCList.handle = Documents.CCListDBA LEFT OUTER join DTConfigurations ON DTConfigurations.ServerGUID = Documents.ServerGUID LEFT OUTER JOIN Globalization HistoryGeneric_Detail ON HistoryGeneric_Detail.Namespace = 'RightFax.SQL.HistoryGeneric' AND SUBSTRING(HistoryGeneric_Detail.LocKey,5,20) = 'DetailMsg' AND SUBSTRING(HistoryGeneric_Detail.LocKey,1,3) = CAST(HistoryGeneric.GenType AS varchar) AND HistoryGeneric_Detail.IsoLanguageName = 'en-us' LEFT OUTER JOIN Globalization HistoryGeneric_Short ON HistoryGeneric_Short.Namespace = 'RightFax.SQL.HistoryGeneric' AND SUBSTRING(HistoryGeneric_Short.LocKey,5, 20) = 'ShortMsg' AND SUBSTRING(HistoryGeneric_Short.LocKey,1, 3) = CAST(HistoryGeneric.GenType AS varchar) AND HistoryGeneric_Short.IsoLanguageName = 'en-us' LEFT OUTER JOIN HistoryTRX ON HistoryTRX.handle = History.handle LEFT OUTER JOIN ( SELECT distinct CONVERT(varchar,G.Data) AS TermStatStr, T.StatusCode AS TermStatCode, T.handle AS TermStat FROM Globalization G INNER JOIN TermStatToStatusCode T ON ( G.LocKey = 'HistoryTRX.BTHUSTAT' + RIGHT('0000' + LTRIM(RTRIM(CONVERT(char(3),T.StatusCode))), 3) AND G.IsoLanguageName = 'en-us' AND G.LocKey like 'HistoryTRX.BTHUSTAT%' ) ) AS HistoryTRX_Term ON HistoryTRX.TermStat = HistoryTRX_Term.TermStat LEFT OUTER JOIN ( SELECT distinct CONVERT(varchar,G.Data) AS TermStatStr, T.StatusCode AS TermStatCode, T.handle AS TermStat FROM Globalization G INNER JOIN TermStatToStatusCode T ON ( G.LocKey = 'HistoryTRX.BTHUSTAT' + RIGHT('0000' + LTRIM(RTRIM(CONVERT(char(3),T.StatusCode))), 3) AND G.IsoLanguageName = 'en-us' AND G.LocKey like 'HistoryTRX.BTHUSTAT%' ) ) AS Documents_Term ON Documents.TermStat = Documents_Term.TermStat WHERE NOT ( /* The outer join on the HistoryPrint, HistoryGeneric, and HistoryTRX results in * rows that just have null history data. One of the three must have a value. If * all are null, the row is a result of the outer joins and the rows have no useable data so they * filtered out. */ HistoryTRX.handle IS NULL AND HistoryGeneric.handle IS NULL AND HistoryPrint.handle IS NULL ) AND DocumentUsers.UserName IS NOT NULL /* THIS VALUE is inserted into a NON NULL column in the FAX_LOG table. */ AND DocumentUsers.UserID IS NOT NULL /* THIS VALUE is inserted into a NON NULL column in the FAX_LOG table. */ AND Documents.UniqueID IS NOT NULL /* THIS VALUE is inserted into a NON NULL column in the FAX_LOG table. */ AND History.TRDateTime > 'REPLACE_WHERE_CLAUSE_CRITERIA' ORDER BY History.TRDateTime" /> (note: line breaks and formatted added for clarity)