For an athlete who wears a hat for three hours every night, Bryce Harper directs an incredible amount of attention and care into his hair.

We had previously learned that Harper spends 30 minutes working on his hair before every game. Well, let’s double that figure for his latest hairdo. Harper showed up to the MLB All-Star Game festivities in San Diego on Monday with a fresh cut, and it has so much going on. Like, where do I even start?

Let’s go with a before picture:

Got it? OK, good.

Now, look what he did to his hair on Monday.

Bryce Harper's hair is so awesome Scott Boras made a call. pic.twitter.com/DCqHRKhyD1 — Pete Abraham (@PeteAbe) July 11, 2016

I’m not one to tell someone that their hair looks bad because in a way, that’s a pretty sweet haircut. But as fellow FTW writer Charlotte Wilder pointed out, it’s essentially a morphing of The Bachelorette contestants’ haircuts with added poofiness and more lines shaved in.

Bryce Harper's haircut looking like the haircut all #TheBachelorette contestants have, just on steroids pic.twitter.com/l75ONqcUhv — Charlotte Wilder (@TheWilderThings) July 11, 2016

I also see a nod to Cristiano Ronaldo circa 2014. But that hairdo didn’t help Portugal emerge from its World Cup group.

It gets worse because but after a closer look, it really makes Harper look like Vanilla Ice, which is bad. Don’t do this, Bryce.