Concert date: January 10, 2019

Part One: Don’t Call it a Comeback

The VIP line to see Motion City Soundtrack was already forming when we arrived at Starland Ballroom in Sayreville, New Jersey. Since the weather was conveniently warm for January, many people lined up were wearing just t-shirts and flannel. Among the flannel wearers were me and childhood friends Jessica and Alysha. I met Jessica through mutual friends and we bonded over our love for going to concerts, and then she introduced me to Alysha when we all ran into each other at Warped Tour this past summer (I’m slowly working my way towards sharing that experience, it’s been a long semester). The youngest in our group, and possibly the whole line, was Jessica’s nephew Eric who was turning 14 the next day (spoiler alert: Jessica is clearly the cool aunt who takes her nephew to do all the fun stuff). “He’s 13 so he thinks he’s cool for just discovering Motion City Soundtrack”, she teased.

My introduction to MCS is probably a common story: I found them on Myspace when I was a teenager. I specifically remember hearing “Calling All Cops” on a friend’s profile and instantly falling in love with their sound. I had no idea what lines like “Copy all cats and acrobats” and “Drowning all dolls in concert halls” were supposed to mean, but I was into it. From there I would catch more of their songs passing through the site (“Modern Chemistry”, “Everything is All Right”, “This is For Real”) and they began to hold a special place in my heart through my high school years. The melodies of their songs made me feel like I was floating on a cloud, and depending on my mood, some of the lyrics had me fall through said cloud and land into ongoing traffic. You know, capturing the trials of emotional adolescence (I’m sure many people have told them they were literally the soundtrack to their teenage years, and for good reasons). Even though a lot of their songs were special to me, they weren’t a band that I aggressively followed when I was younger. If I’m being honest, I wasn’t even aware that their last tour was almost 4 years ago and many people thought they would never return. So, it goes without saying that this “Don’t Call it a Comeback” tour was a big deal for fans, and I never thought I would find myself years later holding a VIP pass to go see them. When Jessica got tickets, along with a VIP package, I didn’t make the decision to go along with her group until exactly one week before the show. After she got my ticket, it sold out less than a few days later.

Part Two: This is for Real

The package for VIPs came with a cinch bag, tour poster, 7” Vinyl of “Capital H”, 4 piece pick pack, and a custom lyric sheet handwritten by lead singer/guitarist Justin Pierre with lyrics of our choice (just an FYI for those who might be interested and if they’re coming to your city). We also had a private sound check show followed by pictures with the band and first access to merch. As someone who’s never been a VIP for anything, I thought this was a pretty sweet deal. After we got our VIP badges and made our way inside, all five members (Justin, guitarist Josh Cain, keyboardist Jesse Johnson, bassist Matthew Taylor, and drummer Tony Thaxton) were already practicing while fans casually stood up against the stage as they watched. Though, the most popular person on stage was Jesse’s child who sat next to her dad and was promised to get a chance on the mic when sound check was over (she ended up being too shy to sing afterwards and was carried away by Jesse while stealing a look from the crowd and smiling as we cheered her on). I didn’t realize how timid I was myself until Jessica pulled both Eric and I closer to the stage and into the crowd to join her and Alysha as the band began to play their first song “Perfect Teeth”. Of course, they sounded really solid, but promised they would sound even better tonight when the venue completely filled up with more people. Before they played the next song, “Point Of Extinction”, Justin reminded the crowd that these songs were just for us and they were not a part of tonight’s main set-list. That reminder solidified a special moment for me when they closed off with “Modern Chemistry”, a song that suspected would not make the main cut and listened to a lot in my lower times (when I actually did have to take medication as echoed by the lyrics).

When Justin announced after sound check was over that it was time to get pictures taken, he encouraged any type of interaction from us (hugs, a high-five, or even a nod of acknowledgement). Taking pictures with the band was something that I was nervous about so in preparation, many people I’ve talked to (even friends who had met them in the past) confirmed they are just regular people and the nicest guys. And even if it does end up being awkward, it’s totally okay. I really had nothing to say other than “hi” when my group went to pose with them (Eric got one taken by himself, with his aunt’s encouragement). Even though they made it clear that, “Hey it’s totally okay to talk to us and hug us like a normal person!” my brain couldn’t get past making a smile and finding a spot between Josh and Matthew who welcomed me into their corner. I did feel a little awkward and shy, as I’m sure a lot of fans would have, but just like I was told: it was totally fine.

We had to wait an hour to go back inside the venue, which a security guard warned us about beforehand, but on the plus side we could put our things away in the car and not have to carry them all night. The venue became a lot livelier when we re-entered as music played over the speakers and people made their way to the bar where you could order high-priced specialty drinks (I got one order of This Drink Makes Me Attractive today, only because it was mixed with peach schnapps). Then we got to every fans favorite part of going to general admission shows, standing for hours! We didn’t get special VIP seats because Jessica explained that they were an extra $75 and not worth it since seats were on either side of the stage and you couldn’t get a front view (that, and it was more fun to be in the crowd). I didn’t want to take her word for it at first because I was dying to sit down, and I even considered sneaking into the seating area but that wasn’t gonna happen. The supporting acts for that night were The Sidekicks, playing their last show of the tour, and Rites of Springfield, a band from Jersey who were booked to play for one night (AKA, the one show in the state). ROS won over the audience by singing fast-paced punk songs about why the NJ Transit sucks and the woes of fixing a leaky basement, and The Sidekicks followed and captivated everyone with their melodic songs.

Part Three: Let’s Get Fucked Up and Die

When we were driving to the venue, we didn’t have many expectations for what the crowd was gonna be like, especially from me since I had never seen MCS or visited Starland Ballroom. At best there would be some cheering and standing around, nothing crazy. Jessica and Alysha were more experienced than I was when it came to going to pop-punk shows, so they’ve seen their fair share of mosh pits with over-excited fans over the years. There was no way that energy would take place tonight, though. “We’re all too old and tired now!” we said to ourselves (with the obvious exception of Eric).

Now, just imagine singing along to the words “Everything is Alright” while trying not to get suffocated.

Moments before MCS took the stage after waiting for another half hour or so, the crowd began to shift as pits opened up and nearly knocked people over when “Attractive Today” set everyone off. The four of us got caught in a wave that pushed us in all sorts of directions, getting squeezed between other fans. I couldn’t pay attention to the band at first because I was caught off guard and tried not to fall over (the last time I was in a crowd that aggressive was during Streetlight Manifesto’s set at Bamboozle 2011. I’m still haunted by the sounds of trumpets so don’t ask me if I have a favorite ska band). I realized people started crowd surfing when someone kicked me on the head as they were passing through. So, between that and trying to breathe, I was able to have a good time!

Immediately followed was “Everything Is Alright” and the crowd kept swaying while I adapted to my surroundings. When I managed to get a glimpse of my friends, they all had smiles on their faces, like they didn’t expect things to be this intense but it was still amazing. I bounced along to the music and joined in with the crowd as I let myself get swept away while trying to keep balance and not get hit (I was squatting, holding my arms against my rib-cage, the whole nine yards).



Part Three: Boombox Generation

Sometime after they performed “Disappear”, I found myself suddenly away from the pit and into a calmer section. I started to miss being in the crowd (Jessica was right about it being fun), but I knew it was better for me to stay where I was, or risk collapsing to the floor. I got separated from my friends and didn’t see them until after the show but it was okay because, and here’s the obligatory cheesy line, I didn’t feel alone. I wouldn’t be able to recite every MCS lyric by heart, but everyone else around me screamed all the words back to the band to the point where Justin said he almost couldn’t hear himself. I’d say apart from the band themselves (who sounded amazing and yes, better than at sound check like they promised), the crowd made the night for me. Yeah, we all complained about being tired because we were standing for hours and it’s hard to stay awake past 9 PM because, again, “we’re old now!” But these fans were not gonna half-ass their participation tonight and their energy was infectious, (another observation from Justin: “New Jersey does everything full-ass”). As for what songs MCS did, it was more like what songs they didn’t do, because they covered a lot material from their first four albums. Okay, there was one song and it was “Antonia”, but that would be nitpicking at this point.

Part Four: The Conversation

When the band came back for their encore songs, “L.G. FUAD” and “The Future Freaks Me Out”, Justin gave the audience a mini pep-talk that was inspired by his years of interactions with fans, offering genuine advice for those who needed it (you can find a video a fan filmed towards the end of it here). He started off with some self-reflection, claiming he used to be “the worst” (which his band mates lovingly disagreed as hugs and words of affirmation were given to him). Speaking from the heart, he continued, “When you need to hear the advice, you’re not in a place to hear it. It’s only until after you’ve made it through the thing that you understand the advice you were given in the first place. But I will say it took me about 20 years to get to where I am now, which is a much better place than I was 20 years ago.” The audience cheered him on as he closed off his speech by encouraging us to get help and find someone to talk to after sharing his experiences. “If I can do it, then I think pretty much anyone can.”

From the crowd’s response to the band throughout the night, and Justin’s heartfelt words, it’s evident that MCS’s music have gotten fans through a lot of stuff that probably took them years to overcome. In the mid-2000s, and even before then, conversations about mental health just wasn’t a thing like they (thankfully) are now. Some of us didn’t have the language to express our thoughts and emotions, not knowing how to discuss them without feeling stigmatized. So, we turned to those whose music made us feel less alone as we listened in silent solidarity. It’s funny how many of the sadder songs by MCS can make me smile now, and that pretty much sums up the experience of the concert: unashamedly celebrating your life when you never thought you would make it out alive.

Epilogue: Everything is Alright

When I was trying to decide on what lyrics I wanted Justin to write as part of my VIP package, I revisited a lot of their songs that I listened to the most when I was younger. I realized that, while many of these songs still held up, the lyrics didn’t resonate with me like they used to. Of course, I was in a different place back then compared to now, and naturally you outgrow certain feelings and mindsets. Justin said something similar about his own songs, before his speech during encore, and how he doesn’t feel the way he used to when he wrote them. Even though he’s changed as a person, the emotions behind them are still meaningful. I could’ve picked something on the lighter side like “Let’s get wrecked on pop tarts” (boy did I see that one on a lot of Myspace profiles), but I still wanted to choose something sentimental. I went through songs on Even if it Kills Me because it was their first album I had ever listened to, so I wanted to pick lyrics from there. Maybe instead of trying to revisit old wounds, I could find something that speaks to who I am now at 28 years old, and not 18. Finally, I turned to a song that I didn’t listen to a lot, the one played at sound check, “Point of Extinction”. I was drawn to more melancholic lines like, “I’m so tired, I’ve had enough” (can relate), but I kept listening until I heard these words: “With all my dreams hooked to hospital machines, I think ‘Let’s try redefining beautiful.’”

Things never go as planned, or the way you hoped, but sometimes they turn out even better. I don’t think MCS ever expected to return to the stage after their farewell tour, but timing is everything (like getting tickets to a show right before they sell out). The band has been ambiguous about future plans after this tour, and maybe that’s a good thing because it puts less pressure on them to figure things out. Whatever ends up happening, I will say that I am eternally grateful to have this experience that ended up being firsts for me: first MCS concert, first time at the Starland Ballroom, first time being a VIP, first time getting kicked in the head by a crowd surfer. So, for the sake of it not being a “comeback” I will simply say, thank you for sticking around, Motion City Soundtrack.