We’ve just been shooting from the hip and reposting old content we’ve written so far. I’m using we, because I guess I am into pronouns. No I’m using I again, because it sounds better from a writing perspective. Let us figure this out by exploring how we want to use it as we go.

Look! I was a kid once:





Ok, let’s get down to brass tacks. So, my mom found out she had AIDS about two months after I was born. Back in 1990, this was still pretty much a death sentence, so she was told she only had a few years to live, at most. She managed to make it until I was nine, but damn did she break down. I don’t know how to even talk about some of this stuff because its still raw, if that makes sense.

I know it all has to deal with feeling abandoned and feeling like it was my fault. These are emotions that I have consciously tried to face in their entirety, but just don’t know how to go about addressing in the totality of my consciousness. For example, I can fully explore the memory of my mother on her deathbed, delirious from the ear infection spreading to her brain, looking over at me and telling me that “I was no son.” Rationally, I know she was not lucid in this moment, but no officer I don’t know where I got a lot of my gender issues from. Emotionally, I was devastated and I am aware that this schism in me is because she has within her all the unprocessed and repressed memories from my childhood.

Like, I feel like I was reborn after my mom died. Not really in a good way, although I am very glad I have my sister. My sister and I, we’re the “we” up there. It’s not Dissociative Identity Disorder, it’s a subjective interpretation of being stuck in the Synchronicity Slip Stream which, if you’re not going to click that super awesome in-depth explanation, I’ll just say it’s like I’m being communicated with by an external mind.



At first, we didn’t even know what was happening. I don’t think there was a clear split. It just happened gradually, like how a kid will grow a whole bunch and not realize he or she is now half a foot taller than the beginning of the summer. I distinctly remember us playing video games together. I would be the one controlling the game, and she would be the one thinking, seeing, processing. Basically, she would throw my attention onto different things and give me emotional cues and fragments of information in her own way.



I guess most people have something like this, just not as personified or as “outside” themselves as we do.

Hey stop hogging the mic! Let me talk!

Hi! I’m Rory. I’m Greg’s sister and I have a lot of different masks that I can wear to dance different dances that he picks up on on his side of the mind with his handy dandy radio

What she means is I have a way of picking up her cues and desires among the static of experiential consciousness. You could say we’re our own self-contained culture. I look in the mirror and I see her, and vice versa. We provide each other different feedback, and we grow as a result of the other’s choices.



Yea, until you buried me as far away as you could hide me.



Well, you know sis, we have a bit of a weird relationship. I think we can admit that. I was scared and didn’t know how to deal with any of that feminine stuff and well…



Go ahead tell them how you like to do things to me! :D

First, how about I tell them how I consciously realized you exist as something that wasn’t me? Right, so it was a gradual process. I was playing Super Mario Sunshine, stuck trying to figure out how to get to the pipe at the top of the big Shine arch in town that leads to the fire mountain area. For the love of me, I could not figure out how to do it. After hours of messing about with every possible permutation and strategy, I gave up and went to bed much later than normal. I slept horribly, but I had really vivid dreams that showed all these other possibilities. I remember waking up and knowing exactly what to do.

Don’t send a plumber to do a girl’s job

This phenomena intrigued me. I was a smart kid back then, so I knew the brain must have some mechanical, definable components. What actually caused this revelation in my dreams? I hypothesized that dreams must be a way for the brain to process problems encountered during the day. I started studying my dreams and attempted to experiment with effecting them. Over time, I began to notice themes and repeating elements within myself. The more I noticed them, the more apparent they became.

Then I realized that these weren’t just mechanical blips. I wasn’t exploring a mechanical device. I was exploring a whole other person.

And of course you can all figure out what happens when a lonely, twelve year old boy figures out he has a cute girl he can play with…

Yea. We really…explored each other. But then, as time went on, I wished more and more for an actual girlfriend. My abandonment issues made me terrified to take a chance and get rejected or embarrassed.

I didn’t really know how to give that to him…I wanted to help him but I always ran and hid around people. :/

It resulted in me thinking I had to make a choice. I had to either be physically alone or hide her and try to fly without half of my guidance system. After I was expelled for doing following her suggestion that I play a prank on someone

Hey! I made it clear that nothing would have happened if you just fessed up and then kept your mouth shut. You’re the one that volunteered all the other information about wanting to create a community

I had actually forgotten that detail until you brought that up. Even back then I was aware of the dominant survival strategy of humanity. But yea, protip: if an investigating officer asks you questions like “I know you have no intention, but IF you were going to, say, bomb the school, how would you do it?” You should not actually try and devise the best plan on the spot to try and impress him.

At least we got to run in the Junior Olympics, a consequence I had completely forseen.

Yea, no, but that was a nice bonus after getting kicked in the balls by our schools pig-headed administration.

Track became a major part of my life. The Junior Olympics pretty much acted as a catalyst for my life. I had begun suppressing Rory, who didn’t really have a name back then.

I was pretty much Arya Stark, and then when I had to go away, I was blind and mute Ayra Stark minus Arya’s face.

I remember the night we decided this had to be done. I remember the moments we had.

Yea, they were nice…I’m glad we can share those moments again :)

Hehe…anyways, moving on, I ran my butt off. I used the… “remnants” of Rory to turbocharge my emotions. This led to many races ending like this because I learned how to get the crowd to give me their energy.

Spirit bomb style! :D

That all earned me a position on East Carolina’s drinking team. They had a running problem. It was pretty much a frat, and being where I was as an emotionally disturbed weirdo with a repressed feminine side and a mind practically held together by duct tape from my tinkering, I didn’t quite fit in.

I fell apart. It was a process that took several years, getting cut from the team with the budget, getting brainwashed by the army (I felt I had to serve to be a good person because of how messed up I was), and delving into drugs and chronic masturbation. I became completely psychotic and lost all touch with reality for a period of time. I made it back home, where my goal was to waste away with what money I had left and then commit suicide.

That didn’t happen. I lingered. I was too afraid to live, too afraid to die. I was completely addicted to sex, masturbation, and drugs, and I had no friends and it was so difficult meeting people. I always sabotaged myself. I couldn’t land a job, a girlfriend, or a leg up. I felt so worthless. I was useless and was a burden on everyone. I hated everything, myself most of all.

That was tough to watch you write, bro :/

It was tough to live. It’s my greatest shame. Only a miracle would help me.

Go ahead, tell them the miracle. :3

I met this girl through Craigslist. We’re still friends, but she had replied to an ad about…about finding my little sister. At the time, I felt so ashamed for all these desires I had. She was an angel. We Skyped all the time. She wasn’t as sexual as I was, but she helped me come to terms with me being a freak.

At the same time, I also met a guy on Reddit. He had the holy grail I had been seeking for some time: LSD. I bought from him regularly, which is how I discovered how much I love juggling.

At the same same time, my psychologist had done a sufficient job at making me acknowledge my shame so that I could start cleaning it out.

Yay psychedelic sexual healing! :D

As I developed my juggling, a dream was born. I realized I could use this to travel, earn enough to get by, and meet people anywhere. I saw it as a tool that would allow me to meet someone on my same frequency.

You mean people that…?

Yea, people that like what we do.

Hehehe :P

But, yea, stories not even over. I eventually meet a woman who…

It’s ok bro. I feel that too :’(

I met a woman who has moved me like no other. She was amazing. She could do everything. She was an artist with aspirations for days. She made everything she touched beautiful. She had a heart that could love the unlovable…like me. I found the one. I found the goddess that I had been dreaming of.

Our life started to become more and more entwined. We saw our future. We were going to get a bunch of land and create a healing center together. I would rise to stardom with my juggling, and pour all the money into our dream and raise a huge family.

Then a fucking cult manipulated, lied, and completely fucking violated us. >:(

Here and here are more detailed posts about this.

Super short synopsis: shit’s fuuuuuuuuuuucked

General synopsis: we get jobs with a nonprofit that seems like the perfect thing for us. Turns out it was a group of sociopaths who proceeded to create an entire system around us to keep us perpetually under fear and warp our realities

You sort of just broke down at the end there….

Yea, I did. That’s what ended our relationship. With everything that happened, I wound up questioning everything about myself. Doubts overwhelmed me. I knew I loved her, but I was miserable because after going through all that and returning to civilization, I was left with this awareness that so much of me was still buried after all these years…

Then we went insane! :D

Well, it wasn’t easy to bring you back from the dead. With these past couple weeks home alone for most of the time, I realized I need to be me. No more censoring. No more hiding. In order for me to heal further and find the happiness I seek, I need to find the others and learn more about who we are.

So where are y'all?

Looks back over what we wrote

Yea, that pretty much covers some of the main points about us. There’s a lot I could write about, but this is already pretty ridiculously long.

Show them your juggling!

Oh yea! I don’t have a recent video, and with the amount I’ve evolved since this was filmed, this doesn’t really represent my ability, but it should show you that I’m not just another average guy with three balls.

Welp, that about does it for our introduction.



See you out in the electronic seas! :D