Layla Moran was wrong to hit her partner. But domestic violence by women is not the same as domestic violence by men Female perpetrators of domestic violence do not go on to mass murders and terrorist binge kills

Layla Moran, the Liberal Democrat MP for Oxford West and Abingdon speaks several languages, and is known for her political ambitions, candour and feminist principles. Previously a physics and maths teacher, she is the UK’s first ever British-Palestinian MP and will be a front-runner in the Lib Dem leadership contest when Vince Cable quits later this year.

It was all going well for her until last Saturday when she tweeted a small confession. In 2013, she was arrested for assaulting her then partner, Richard David, an analytics expert. She was held in police custody and charged, but the case was then dropped.

Ms Moran admitted slapping Davis during a row, because she felt “threatened”. Apparently, they have “both forgiven each other”. The MP has repeatedly condemned the bullying and harassment culture in parliament and publicly supports domestic abuse services.

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‘Hypocrite’

A good number of people – mostly men – are infuriated by Moran’s “hypocrisy”. One senior Lib Dem said: “Violent behaviour which warrants a police presence is unacceptable, whether it’s by a man or a woman. We have to be consistent”. How can anyone disagree with that?

We know women in heterosexual relationships can be sadistic, controlling, and even homicidal.

Last week, Hannegret Donnelly, 55, was convicted of severe physical abuse and the murder of her husband, Christopher, also 55, a science graduate and musician. Police found blood stains around the house and 78 injuries on the dead man.

Wives, girlfriends and casual partners do bad stuff but they cannot match the numbers or brutality of men

In the last year, there have been convictions for false rape accusations too. The men are left traumatised for years, some forever. It happened to a young man I know. These lives matter.

However, I deplore the way such cases are used to discredit feminism or to stir national laments about the ignored/forgotten/hidden pain of male victims of female violence or extreme vindictiveness. Like much else in modern Britain, emotions sweep away troublesome evidence, and masculinity pushes selective narratives.

More sinisterly, male-on-female oppression is seen as a historical continuum or part of the human condition, whereas females tyrannising males provoke proper horror. They are unnatural, a threat to the social order.

Challenging norms

Women and girls are challenging structural sexism and taking more power but when it comes to personal relationships, we are the weaker and more vulnerable sex. The injustices continue and pile on. My husband believes male rage and the war on women has intensified in this century.

Official figures for 2018 show that of two million adult victims of abuse in this country, 1.3 million were female and 695,000 were male. Most sexual abuse victims are female. One woman in four experiences domestic violence in her lifetime.

Two women are killed each week by a current or former partner in England and Wales. In 2017, 76 per cent of women murdered by men knew their partner. Crime surveys estimate that 79 per cent of domestic abuse victims do not report the crimes. Most are female.

We know women in heterosexual relationships can be sadistic, controlling, and even homicidal

Turning to rape, and a Ministry of Justice study estimated that three per cent of 299 rape reports analysed were perceived to be malicious claims. A Home Office study also found that police often distrust victims and believe the numbers of false claims are higher than they are in reality.

These facts are avoided by paranoid men who have come to believe that feminism “has gone too far”, or that they will soon be totally emasculated and turned into semen-producing robots.

The consequences of such paranoia can be lethal. In her disturbing book, Home Grown, How Domestic Violence Turns Men into Terrorists, the journalist Joan Smith investigates the lives of recent, infamous terrorists – Muslim jihadists and hard-right recruits, all of whom had dreadful histories and seemingly hated females.

Nazir Afzal, the former Chief Crown Prosecutor for the North West of England told Smith: “The first victim of an extremist or terrorist is the woman in his own home. [They are] wife beaters and misogynists”. One thing led to another.

‘Whataboutery’

None of this is true for females who have been violent towards males. Wives, girlfriends and casual partners do bad stuff, sometimes very bad stuff, but they cannot match the numbers or brutality of men who victimise females. Furthermore, female perpetrators of domestic violence do not go on to mass murders and terrorist binge kills.

So yes, Moran was wrong to attack her partner and her tweet did not communicate real regret. And yes, both genders can brutalise and dehumanise the other. But males commit far more crimes against females than vice versa. Instead of accepting that truth, too many men resort whataboutery or intense self-pity. Shame on them.

@y_alibhai