

Michael B. Jordan , meet your new girlfriend, Michaela B. Jordan

By David Futrelle

It’s amazing how many men think their sperm is magical. Some, echoing the incorrect beliefs of scientists from centuries ago, think that it’s what “brings life” to the womb, with women providing no more than a place for a fetus to hang out for 9 months before it’s born. Some think their own sperm is worth its weight in gold.

Here’s a truly amazing example of this particular brand of sperm theory, in the form of a now-vanished Tumblr post from a few years ago that has been passed around incredulously ever since then. (I recently found it on the BadWomensAnatomy subreddit; it’s also been posted to the comments here before.)

In this post, someone called afrovegan suggests that women exposed to a particular man’s sperm over a long period of time will, well, start to turn into that man on a genetic level.

And maybe also become telepathic?

I’ll let afrovegan explain:

Ever see a couple that’s been together for a while and they look the same ? They could be different races but still have a strong resemblance like family ? Here’s why . During sex when a man ejaculates . His sperm or DNA is uploaded . And a female downloads it in the form of love .

Whuuuuuuut.

The more she opens up to him and her defenses fall the more data she’s able to download. So in reality fellas we are the ones giving BRAIN .

I’m not sure that woman are really lining up to, er, “download” this dude’s BRAIN sperm.

How? Sperm has cerebral spinal fluid . Or (Brain,Spine,Fluid) . It starts in the brain then is sent down the spine and turned into fluid. When women download the data it’s not just kids in the sperm . It’s your thoughts and feelings as well.

Damn, I guess I missed this day in biology class.

That’s also how women have this Connection to the men they have been with for a while . She doesn’t have to be with you or around you, and could call you as another woman is thinking about approaching you Or can tell when something isn’t right . They call it an intuition . But It’s a mental connection .

So Sperm Brain Spine Fluid is telepathic, too? It’s Telepathic Sperm Brain Spine Fluid?

The woman basically becomes a mini version of the man by taking take on personality traits as well . That’s why it’s important for females to choose their partner carefully .

For example, if a dude talks endlessly about his sperm and its magical powers, you should probably run away as fast as you can. Though I suspect most women will have intuited this already, no Sperm Brain Spine Fluid downloading necessary.

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