SCP-4390

BY ORDER OF THE OVERSEER COUNCIL The following file is Level 2/4390 Classified

Unauthorized access is forbidden. 4390

Item#: 4390 Level2 Containment Class: euclid Secondary Class: none Disruption Class: vlam Risk Class: notice link to memo



Entrance of SCP-4390.

Special Containment Procedures: Access to the location containing the entrance to SCP-4390 is to be guarded at all times. Individuals attempting to access the area are to be arrested by Foundation agents embedded in local authorities and remanded to the local law enforcement system.

Access to SCP-4390 is restricted to exploration teams with permission from the Site-94 research authority. These exploration attempts are to be handled in conjunction with representatives from the "Dr. Wondertainment" Group of Interest.

Description: SCP-4390 is an extra-spatial area located beneath the Giordano's Italian Eatery on the west side of Atlanta, Georgia, USA. The singular access point to SCP-4390 is located in the restaurant's basement, currently disguised as a non-functional walk-in refrigerator.

The space beyond the entrance to SCP-4390 is a massive, cavernous area containing a large, constantly shifting labyrinth built out of stone. The walls of the labyrinth appear to extend up at least 20 meters, but attempting to scale the walls or ascending vertically will result in the subject beginning to shrink exponentially until they are too small to ascend any higher. Descending will reverse this effect.

The entirety of SCP-4390 is overrun with thick vegetation, little of which appears to bear any resemblance to anything found on Earth. Additionally, several species of small reptilians and flying creatures, as well as larger, seemingly mammalian entities live in and around the labyrinth, though these creatures also do not resemble anything found on Earth. The majority of these creatures are not outwardly hostile, though several species have been shown to have territorial behaviours that can display as hostility towards intruders.

Interior of SCP-4390.

SCP-4390 appears to have been designed as a massive game - the labyrinth contains several intelligent entities alongside the plants and animals, many of whom appear to exist within the structure to create unique challenges for travelers. Contact with these entities is typically uneventful, but occasionally these entities will offer travelers an opportunity for a wager; individuals are capable of wagering anything that could be considered "theirs " in exchange for some anomalous object or characteristic of equal value offered by the intelligent entity in question. While possessions that are lost or gained in these transactions persist outside of SCP-4390, characteristics or bodily functions that are lost or gained within SCP-4390 are restored once the individual leaves through the access point.

Individuals who die within SCP-4390 are turned into spectral apparitions that can follow the other individuals of their party . These phantoms can interact with some aspects of SCP-4390 and can pass through walls, but cannot themselves be used to solve puzzles or answer riddles . Once the phantom's "party" reaches the end of the labyrinth or are killed, all members of the party will reappear at the beginning of the labyrinth with phantoms restored to their physical forms. However, if the party does not "clear" the labyrinth and all individuals perish, upon materializing at the labyrinth's entrance they will be without any of their personal possessions, including their clothes.

SCP-4390's existence was made known to the Foundation after the staff at Site-94 were contacted by an agent representing the "Dr. Wondertainment" Group of Interest. A full transcript of the initial interview with this individual is available in Addendum 4390.1.

Addendum 4390.1: Interview with GOI Agent

Internal Audio Recording Transcript In Attendance: Foundation Site-94 Asst. Director Robert Duncan

Foundation Site-94 Security Director Al Morris

Dr. Wondertainment Marketing Director Sebastian J. Fitchingsley [BEGIN LOG] Asst. Dir. Duncan: Green light is on, let's get started. Fitchingsley: I'll be quick, we- Dir. Morris: Sorry, hang on. We need to uh, say our names first. For the record. Fitchingsley: Oh, my bad. Asst. Dir. Duncan: No, no, it's fine. Just these protocols, you know. I'm Robert Duncan. Dir. Morris: Middle name too, sir. Sorry. Asst. Dir. Duncan: Seriously? Christ, alright, let's try it again. I'm Robert Cartwright Duncan. (Pauses) Assistant Director of Research, Site-94. Dir. Morris: I'm Alfred Alan Morris, Security Director at Site-94. Fitchingsley: Me next? Dir. Morris: Yeah. Fitchingsley: Alright. My name is Sebastian Juneaux Malthuzan Hermano y Konquistadito Vanabulous Extraordinariorion Frank Fitchingsley. (Pauses) I'm the Dr. Wondertainment marketing director. You can just uh, you can just write down the Fitchingsley part, I think. Asst. Dir. Duncan: Got it, alright. So let's actually get into this thing now. You said something about some sort of deal, or what? Fitchingsley: Alright, let me just lay it out here for you. My boss, Dr. Wondertainment, is just the most recent in a long line of Wondertainments stretching back as far as history permits. In that history we've been fortunate to maintain a pretty linear progression of authority - one Dr. Wondertainment hands the mantle off to their successor, and they become Dr. Wondertainment, and so on. Granted, there have been a handful of breaks in there, but nothing wild. Asst. Dir. Duncan: That's neat, but that just sounds like exposition. Fitchingsley: Get used to that. The real problem is that there have been a fair number of bastard Wondertainments - people who either were promised the position of Dr. Wondertainment and had it pulled out from underneath them due to some shame or another, or the children of a Dr. Wondertainment with some mysterious passenger. That sort of thing. What you may not know is that recently, the last Dr. Wondertainment, Isabel disappeared under mysterious circumstances. In her place, a previous Wondertainment, Bertrand, has taken over the daily operations of the company. This has caused a bit of a stir, because the line up until this point has been pretty straight - a few crooks here and there, but it has never gone backwards. This is problematic. Asst. Dir. Duncan: Uh huh. Fitchingsley: I know! Wild times. But what I'm getting at is it was assumed that the Wondertainment who would succeed Isabel was her distant cousin, Yancy diPettito-Cortez Wondertainment. Due to the circumstances of Isabel's disappearance, the board determined that Bertrand would sit in her place until she could be located and returned to her position as rightful head of the company. Dir. Morris: Oh, ok, I can see where this is going. Fitchingsley: Yes dear boy, you certainly can. Ole Yancy took this as a grave slight, no doubt having thought that he could stroll in and take the name of Dr. Wondertainment and carry on as normal without a thought in the world for Isabel. He is offended that the board would prioritize Isabel's recovery over his own schemes, and has splintered away from the main brand and formed a… (gags) knock-off. He's out there, right now, calling himself Professor Amazementopia, causing all sorts of ruckus. Asst. Dir. Duncan: This is a compelling story, I'll admit, but it doesn't answer the question of why you showed up in my shower this morning asking to meet about some life-or-death scenario we've found ourselves in. Fitchingsley: Right right - sorry about the shower again, I really was planning for the foyer but the math has been a bit off ever since Isabel disappeared. You're both familiar with our very popular and well loved board game The Foundation, right? I believe you have a copy in your possession. Well, Yancy has decided to shack up under a pizza place near here to work on a competing game. He's calling it "The Maze 2: The Game" and is filling it up with all sorts of strange and unusual stuff he found on safari somewhere. It's a real nasty scene. Asst. Dir. Duncan: "The Maze 2"? What happened to "The Maze?" Fitchingsley: There was no "The Maze". Just "The Maze 2". This is the sort of shit I'm talking about. Asst. Dir. Duncan: You say it's a game? Like a board game? Fitchingsley: Well… no, not really a board game. Honestly, it's not really a game at all, it's just a big maze. Here's something you need to know about Yancy - one of the reasons Isabel was selected to run the company at such a young age was that the hope was she would outlive Yancy and the title of Dr. Wondertainment would pass to someone with more… basic mental and emotional functionality. Yancy is an absolute headcase and a shit toy maker. He doesn't really get the whole "toy making" thing - he's more like a kid who builds a big thing out of Lego or whatever and then doesn't want anyone else to play with it. He's kind of a dick, and you can see how that business model wouldn't be conducive to growth and development. Dir. Morris: Yes. Fitchingsley: So that's the deal. I'll tell you where the entrance to Yancy's dumb game is, and you and your jackboots can roll down to Fulton Industrial and bust the door in and gather up whatever snacks and surprises he's managed to stuff into that place. This I'll do, in exchange for one small favor. Asst. Dir. Duncan: Oh god here we go. Fitchingsley: No no, seriously, this isn't a bad one. When Yancy left HQ he took a bunch of stuff with him - personal belongings, some cars, a hot air balloon and some prized stuffed turkeys. That sort of thing. Then he also decided to nab a filing cabinet full of financial records because he thought it would be some wild blow to the organization. What he didn't consider was that it's 2019, and all of our records are backed up to the cloud. However, in the wake of this treachery we realized he also stole something much, much worse - our filing folder of incriminating and embarrassing pictures of our board members, myself included. Asst. Dir. Duncan: …what? Why would you keep a file folder full of naughty pictures of yourselves? Fitchingsley: Insurance! It's one thing to threaten a man with a lawsuit, and another to threaten him with exposing his dingle dangle. Keeps everybody happy and in line, with a slight undercurrent of fear. It's the Wondertainment way. Asst. Dir. Duncan: So where is this file folder now? Fitchingsley: In the filing cabinet. Yancy doesn't even realize he's got it, that absolute trout, but when he realized the financial records were of no use to him he tossed the cabinet into the middle of his very stupid and bad maze game. All we need is that file folder - you can keep literally anything else you find in there. Asst. Dir. Duncan: Hang on, why do we need to be involved in this? Aren't you capable of sending a team of your own guys in there? Fitchingsley: (Sighs) Look, think about this for literally any seconds. If we send a squad in there to tear up this absolute pillock's dumb maze thing, he would realize that there's actually something valuable in that filing cabinet, right? So then he goes and flips past "financial records" into "fine pictures of dicks and butts and stuff", and that's the ballgame. He has all the cards, he just doesn't know it - we want you to be our bluff. Asst. Dir. Duncan: This seems like a lot of trouble. Fitchingsley: Yeah, I mean, it probably will be. It's a really, really bad game. But I know how much of a hard-on you sickos have for putting weird shit in boxes, and there's a whole cornucopia of weird shit underneath a dirty-ass pizza joint like, 10 miles from here. Are you in, or are you not in? Asst. Dir. Duncan: I dunno… what do you think? Dir. Morris: I mean, I don't care. It's up to you - we'll do it if you want us to. Asst. Dir. Duncan: Hmmmmm… alright. You've convinced me. We're in. Fitchingsley: Excellent, glad to hear it. Say, out of random curiosity are your guys all up-to-date with their vaccinations? The basic stuff; tetanus, measles, ebola. Dir. Morris: What? [END LOG]

Addendum 4390.2: Exploration of SCP-4390 Attempt #1

Initial exploration of SCP-4390 was conducted by Mobile Task Force Atlanta-2 "Fucking Traffic". Mission objective was to survey the danger within SCP-4390, and reach the center of the labyrinth if possible.

Exploration Log Transcript Members Involved: MTF ATL-2 Franko [LEAD]

MTF ATL-2 Vice

MTF ATL-2 Liter Franko: Alright, mics hot. Let's go into this refrigerator. The team passes through the threshold of SCP-4390. They emerge on the other side in the entrance courtyard of the labyrinth. Liter: You might not believe this, boss, but I don't think this is a refrigerator at all. Franko: Stow it, Kowalski. We've got important business to do here. The team approaches an archway over the main entrance. Carved into it are large block letters reading "PROFESSOR AMAZEMENTOPIA'S THE MAZE 2: THE GAME", seemingly in "Impact" font. Below this are the words "IN NO WAY AFFILIATED WITH ANY LOW-CLASS 'DR. WONDERTAINMENT' PRODUCTS - ONLY HIGH QUALITY ENTERTAINMENT HERE". Vice: Wow, this guy is for real, huh? Suddenly, a face appears on the arch next to the team. Liter: Whoa holy shit! The Face: HELLO TRAVELERS, AND WELCOME TO PROFESSOR AMAZEMENTOPIA'S MAZE 2: THE GAME, A CARNIVAL OF WONDERS FOR ALL AGES! Vice: Hey calm down there brother, there's no need to shout. we're right here. The Face. The Face: APOLOGIES, FRIENDS! THE CURSE THAT BINDS ME HERE DEMANDS THAT I ELEVATE MY VOICE TO UNNECESSARY LEVELS IN ORDER TO MAINTAIN A SENSE OF INCREASED EXCITEMENT IN ALL PARTICIPANTS! Franko: So how does this work? We just go into the maze and… what? What do we get when we get to the middle? The Face: WHEN? (Laughs hysterically) YOU GIVE YOURSELF TOO MUCH CREDIT! NOBODY YET HAS SOLVED PROFESSOR AMAZEMENTOPIA'S INCREDIBLE PUZZLE! NOT EVEN PROFESSOR AMAZEMENTOPIA! BUT FOR THOSE WHO SHOULD PERSEVERE, UNTOLD RICHES AND BOUNTIES AWAIT! Franko: …and all we have to do is get to the middle? The Face: YES. IT'S A MAZE, THAT'S WHAT YOU DO WITH MAZES. Franko: Do we get any hints? The Face: WHA- WHAT? NO. IT'S A MAZE, THERE ARE NO HINTS. Franko: What happens if we get lost? Or we can't get to the center? Are there any exits? The Face: THE ONLY EXIT IS BY TAKING OR LOSING YOUR LIFE. Liter: (Aside) Sort of a shitty maze. The Face: HEY. I HEARD THAT. YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THE MAZE. NOBODY IS FORCING YOU. AND YES, IF YOU WANT TO ESCAPE THE MAZE THE ONLY WAY OUT IS DEATH. IF YOU DIE, YOU WILL BECOME A PHANTOM, FOREVER HAUNTING FUTURE TRAVELERS OF THE MAZE. UNTIL YOU ALL DIE, OF COURSE, IN WHICH CASE YOU WILL BE RETURNED TO THE FRONT OF THE MAZE. Franko: Alright, well, I guess we'll do the maze. Let's go, boys. The Face: WAIT. I HAVE TO SING THE MAZE SONG BEFORE YOU CAN GO IN. Vice: Oh no that's not- The Face: WELCOME TO THE GAME / THE MAZE 2 / IT'S A THRILLING MAZE / FOR YOU / IF YOU WANT TO BE / RICH AND STRONG / ENTER MY MAZE / YOU CAN'T GO WRONG / SING THE MAZE SONG / IT'S A GREAT SONG / IT'S A MAZE SONG / FOR ME AND YOU Liter: It was worse than I thought it would be. The Face: WOW, OK, VERY COOL THING TO SAY. JUST TRYING TO HELP OUT OVER HERE, DOING MY JOB. FINE THEN, DICKHOLES. GO AHEAD, GET IN THERE. YOU WON'T HEAR ME CRYING WHEN YOU'RE DEAD. The door leading into SCP-4390 opens. ATL-2 team enters the maze, and the door shuts behind them. From the other side, the face in the wall can be heard shouting profanities. Franko: Alright. Keep alert, let's get going. Team travels through the labyrinth for a short period of time. They encounter a small group of creatures that look like large beetles with duckbills and a single hopping leg. After the creatures pass, the team comes around a corner and sees a wide gap between where they stand and the rest of the path. In front of them is a pit that extends down as far as they can see. As they're looking into the pit, The Face appears on the wall next to them. The Face: GREETINGS, ASSHOLES. Vice: Jesus Chri- Vice is startled by the appearance of The Face, and stumbles backwards. He trips over a root on the ground, and falls into the pit. Franko: Vice! Liter: Oh fuck! The Face: OH NO, WHAT A SHAME! Vice disappears into the darkness. There is a moment of silence, and then the sound of something heavy striking the ground at high speed. Another moment later, a spectral Vice appears in front of the group. Liter: Oh shit. Franko: Oh shit. Ghost of Vice: Oh shit I'm a ghost. The Face: I TOLD YOU WHAT WOULD HAPPEN IF YOU WEREN'T CAREFUL. I DID TELL YOU, DIDN'T I? Ghost of Vice: You spooked me! This is your fault, you shouting dick. The Face: IT IS MY JOB TO INFORM TRAVELERS ABOUT THE TRIALS THEY WILL FACE WITHIN THE MAZE. Franko: Vice, you alright? Ghost of Vice: I, yeah? I think? I feel alright, I'm just… very spectral. The Face: AND SO YOU SHALL REMAIN, UNTIL YOU COMPLETE THE MAZE OR YOUR FRIENDS ALSO DIE! Liter: Well this is dumb. The Face: YEAH WELL FUCK YOU TOO ASSHOLE. (Pauses) ALRIGHT. THIS IS THE GREAT GAP. TO PROCEED, YOU MUST CROSS THIS GAP. BUT BE VERY CAREFUL, A FALL FROM THIS HEIGHT COULD SPELL YOUR DOOM! Ghost of Vice: You don't fucking say? The Face: LOOK IT'S NOT MY FAULT YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO THE INSTRUCTIONS BEFORE ATTEMPTING TO CROSS THE GAP. Franko: Let it go, boys. Let's just try to get across this. (Pauses) What do you think? Can you jump it? Liter: Hmmmmm… maybe. Liter takes several steps back and gets a running start. As he approaches the ledge, he jumps to cross the gap. He gets a hand on the far side, but can't hold on and falls into the pit. His video feed also cuts out, and after a short moment a spectral Liter appears in front of Franko. Ghost of Liter: Fuck! Franko: Ah, Christ. The Face: WOW, TWO OUT OF THREE ON THE VERY FIRST OBSTACLE. YOU GUYS ARE PROS, LET ME TELL YOU. WHAT AN ACCOMPLISHMENT. Franko: There has to be like, what, some sort of lever or something that opens a path across? (Pauses) Oh, this tree, right. Just sort of give it the ole push. Franko pushes a nearby tree over the gap, creating a makeshift bridge. The Face: CONGRATULATIONS DUMBASS, YOU FIGURED OUT THIS VERY DIFFICULT TREE PUZZLE. Franko: Fuck off. Franko, Vice and Liter continue traveling down the corridor, occasionally looping back after finding a dead end. The path opens into a small graveyard. In the center of the graveyard is a thin, pale human woman in tattered clothing, stooping over a small cauldron. Franko approaches this person. Franko: Hello there. Unidentified Woman: Greetings, traveler. I am the Witch. Perhaps you would like to enjoy one of my specials brews, yes? They are very mysterious and magical. Franko: Alright, what's this shit. The Face appears on a nearby wall. The Face: SHE TOLD YOU HER NAME WAS THE WITCH, DIPSHIT. ARE YOU HARD OF HEARING TOO? Franko: I got that, what does the brew do? Is this poison? The Face: I WISH! IT'S A RANDOM CONCOCTION OF WHATEVER SHE HAS LAYING AROUND. IT CAN DO ALL SORTS OF STUFF TO YOU. SOMETIMES IT'S GOOD. SOMETIMES IT'S BAD. I PERSONALLY HOPE IT'S BAD! Franko: Can I go past you without drinking your weird brew? The Witch: No, dearie, I'm afraid you can't. Franko: Ah, fuck it. Might as well. Franko drinks from the cauldron. He begins to rub his eyes furiously, and when he opens them up they have changed to a bright green. Franko: Holy shit, I can see everything! I can see… I can see into the center of the maze, and I can see… I can see the exit there! It's so far away… hey, Witch, does any of that brew give you like, super speed or something? The Witch: (Cackles) Maybe. Who knows? Franko: Good enough for me. Give me some of that stuff. Franko takes another drink from the cauldron. He begins to noticeably swell, and moments later explodes in a shower of bananas. Moments later Franko, Liter, and Vice reappear at the entrance to the maze. Their tactical gear and all clothing items are missing. The Face: WOW YOU GUYS ARE ASS. [END LOG]

Addendum 4390.3: Exploration of SCP-4390 Attempt #2