Me: “911, how can I help you?”

Caller: “Yes?! Hello! I live at [Location]. My husband was stabbed by a madman! Oh, god! He’s outside my bedroom door! He’s knocking on it!”

Me: “All right, ma’am, a police–”

Caller: “What?!”

(Suddenly, there is a lot of talking and a bit of laughing.)

Caller: *to someone else* “You f***! You scared the s*** out of me! A prank?! I called the d*** police! I could have gone to jail!” *to me* “I’m sorry, ma’am. It’s a false alarm.”

Me: “Um, all right.”

Caller: “Actually, send over a cop car. I’m about to murder two men.”

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