ANALYSIS/OPINION:

The few sane Democrats still left in Washington are starting to sweat.

Former Vice President Joseph R. Biden’s chances of winning the Democratic nomination appear to be thinning faster than his head of hair. And they don’t make hair plugs for that kind of problem.

One minute he’s reminiscing about the good ol’ days when he got along so well with all the racist segregationist Democrats around here. Then he gets into strange arguments about federally forced busing — because that’s what the people are all talking about these days.

Next, Mr. Biden is rambling on and on and on about how Russia is meddling in everybody’s elections.

“You think that would happen on my watch, on Barack [Obama]’s watch?” he asks one sympathetic interviewer. “You can’t answer that, but I promise you it wouldn’t have and didn’t.”

Okaaaaaaaay. Only problem being that, well, the entire purpose of existence for the Democratic Party these past two years is that Russia supposedly DID meddle in U.S. elections under Mr. Obama and Mr. Biden’s watch. In fact, according to all Democrats and most of the media, that is the only reason former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton lost the 2016 election.

It really should be no surprise that Joe Biden is bad at this. After all, he has been part of the problem around here for nearly a half-century. And he has been running for president pretty much the entire time.

Yet the closest he ever got to the White House was when he won the political lottery because Barack Obama needed an old white guy with thinning hair who had been around Washington forever.

Lucky for those few sane Democrats left, their party remains the last party in America that gladly steals elections. In 2016, Vermont socialist Sen. Bernard Sanders was fiercely battling his way to the nomination — until party elders stepped in and stole it from him so they could give it to Mrs. Clinton.

Those same elders were hoping Mr. Biden would save their party from the army of kooky Bernie Sanders running this time around. They look around and cast their gaze on people like Sen. Michael Bennet of Colorado, who is one of the 425 Democrats running for president right now.

He was on “Fox News Sunday” this week and accused President Trump of being “at war with American tradition.”

You mean, like having a magnificent military air parade on the Fourth of July over the objections of everybody in all of Washington?

These people really suck the life and joy out of everything they touch. It is amazing.

But it is worse than that. Even the best that the Democrats have to offer these days are fundamentally unserious people who constantly lie about everything.

“We don’t need a president who doesn’t believe in the rule of law,” Mr. Bennet continued. “We don’t need a president who doesn’t believe in freedom of press.”

Where do these people come up with this wacky stuff?

I have literally never seen a freer press in my life. These people are free to print and broadcast literally anything they feel like — and do! For two years, they have been spinning fantasy tales about Russian hookers urinating on beds in Moscow hotel rooms.

And Mr. Trump somehow doesn’t believe in the rule of law? You mean, like, on the border? Where he and he alone is doing everything in his power to enforce the law?

While the best Joe Biden and Michael Bennet’s Democratic Party can contribute is to send their most charismatic new member to the border — where she immediately spun a new fantasy about illegal aliens being forced to drink toilet water.

What is it with these people and their obsession with the scatological? There is something seriously wrong with them. Let’s hope they get help before one of them wins the Democratic nomination.

• Charles Hurt can be reached at [email protected]; follow him on Twitter via @charleshurt.

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