Jaclyn Schildkraut's two-inch tattoo is holding on to 49 lives.

On her wrist, a rainbow heart with the number 49 is connected to a pulse line. Underneath is the date 6-12-16 -- the day of the Orlando mass shooting at Pulse nightclub.

"Whenever I'm in a struggle, I look down at my arm and remember they're the reason why I go so hard," Schildkraut said. "Their pulse is on my pulse."

This tattoo isn't just symbolic of the lives lost during the Orlando shooting; It symbolizes the work Schildkraut has done for the past 10 years, and hopes to do until the day she dies.

Jaclyn Schildkraut is a SUNY Oswego professor in the Public Justice Department. She is also a national expert on mass shooting research.

Schildkraut is a SUNY Oswego professor in the Public Justice Department and a national expert on mass shooting research. Four years ago, she received her Ph.D in Criminal Justice from Texas State University. Her dissertation focused on the media's portrayal of mass shootings post Columbine, and she's written 16 other peer-reviewed journals and two books.

Schildkraut has been featured in dozens of news outlets -- national and international -- shedding light on campaigns, legislation and system failures. For the last decade, she's been linked to four national shootings, and has absorbed everything there is to know about these crimes.

There have been 68 mass shootings so far in 2018, according to the Mass Shooting Tracker. But mass shootings are hard to define. How many people have to be killed? How many have to be injured? What's the difference between a mass shooting and a mass murder? It's hard to communicate this data and that's where Schildkraut comes in.

Her job forces her to be surrounded by numbers: Seventeen is the number of people killed at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School. Fifty-eight is the number of lives lost in Las Vegas, and the 49 lives lost at the Pulse shooting stares back at her every day from her wrist tattoo. And after every shooting, numbers only get more complicated.

Schildkraut says defining these numbers is the easiest part of her job. After a shooting, her phone lights up for hours with press requests. Radio interviews, phone interviews, international interviews. She always says yes to a media request because she's itching to get her word out to as many people as possible. Reporters want her insight to explain what many can't understand. Schildkraut spews out the numbers like it's her phone number.

The hard part of her job is being a human.

When the cameras go down and the phone stops ringing, reality sets in. Her body finally comes to a halt as her mind dives deep into the lives of each victim. She shuts down for the night and does what anyone else would do: cry.

"My main goal is to make sure these victims don't become just a number," she said. "I'm always thinking of their stories because I want to keep that part alive."

Jaclyn Schildkraut got a small tattoo on her wrist after the Orlando mass shooting at Pulse nightclub in 2016.

Every night, she posts a tribute to a mass shooting victim on her Facebook page. She's working on a piece for the Journal of Contemporary Criminal Justice, where she'll tell the stories of 35 survivors from Columbine, Virginia Tech, Sandy Hook, Las Vegas, and other shootings.

Schildkraut is also working with Gov. Andrew Cuomo on his gun violence initiative, which aims to advance the background check system, trace guns, and conduct studies to inform policy makers.

Her job covers the heavy research. She's written a book that answers the most-asked questions by reporters and reveals common myths about mass shootings. She's written an article on how media narratives may confuse the public. She then takes what she's studied and turns it into curriculum to teach more than 200 college students in her classes that range from Organized Crime to The Death Penalty.

Her passion is palpable and her voice is always stern. But just by looking at her, you may not understand the side effects that come with her job.

"There's only so much any one person can take," she said. "I've ended up with secondary trauma and PTSD. I have a lot of the same sensitivities survivors have. When a balloon pops, it freaks me out."

Schildkraut's fears also stem from guilt.

"Sometimes I feel like if I did more, it would all stop," she said. "If I had that answer I wouldn't be teaching at Oswego, I'd be out there with my cape stopping these shootings."

Schildkraut says she still understands her purpose. She stays grounded in research free of political clout and doesn't take a stance on gun control rights. It's a "no end battle," and her job is simple: gather data and share data so people can use it to inform their opinions.

And then at night, she will allow herself to feel again -- until she has to take the next call.

"I will continue this work until the day I die," she said while looking at her tattoo. "The minute I'm silent is the minute these victims are forgotten and they just become notches in the mass shooting bedpost."

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