Of course this Liza Minnelli-esque ode (Marc Jacobs SS20) is excessive. And totally unsuitable for Zoom calls. But extreme times call for extreme measures. And seeing as Marc Jacobs touts it as “a celebration of life and optimism”, let’s go there. Creating the spider lash itself isn’t overly ambitious; it’s just mascara layered over falsies. Matt but plump skin is key, so overdose on a hydrating serum. Use a coloured eyeliner to create a fresher winged eye and add a dot of highlighter in the corner. Complete with a natural lip. The skinny and bleached brows? Ignore. They rarely translate in real life.

1. Tatti Lashes TL3 Faux Me Lashes £9, tattilashes.com

2. Charlotte Tilbury Rock ’n’ Kohl in Elizabeth Violet £19, charlottetilbury.com

3. Dior Hydra Life Matte Dew Hydration £49, dior.com

4. Anastasia Beverly Hills Lash Brag Volumizing Mascara £26, anastasiabeverlyhills.com

5. Kjaer Weis Nude, Naturally Lipstick in Sincere £44, cultbeauty.co.uk

I can’t do without... Home hair colour that fills in between salon visits

As we saw our lives edging towards self isolation, social distancing and then full on lockdown, I began receiving messages from numerous women who were at a loss as to how they would achieve salon-like results at home. They asked me to recommend hair products, gadgets and dyes they could use easily and safely. If this is going to be our new reality, it seems women do not want to face it with bad hair. Especially one that needs colour. There is a reason people go to one hair stylist for a cut and style and a specialist for colour. (I learned this the hard way many decades ago when I walked out of a salon looking like a Fraggle). A good colourist understands the science, nuances and technicalities of colour. They do magical things like creating a colour so believable the world would swear you’re naturally a glossy blonde when, in fact, you were born mousy brown. It’s near impossible to achieve this at home (sorry). That said, the high-quality, low-price home hair colour range from Josh Wood, arguably the best colourist in the world, is excellent for upkeep. His team now offers a video consultation service. They address everything - covering roots, enhancing or removing certain tones in hair, enhancing condition and shine, and if it comes to it, gulp, how to transition to grey. Josh Wood Colour, £15, joshwoodcolour.com

On my radar… Good top-down beauty starts with great hair

A simple choice Celebrity hairstylist Jen Atkins has developed new ranges for different hair types. One is Thick, another is Fine... There’s a lot to be said for simplicity. Ouai Thick Hair Shampoo, £22, libertylondon.com

Join the cult Clean formulas that support skin health. The principles that made Drunk Elephant’s skincare a hit have now been applied to their hair care. Drunk Elephant Hair, £21, cultbeauty.co.uk

Boost from Brazil Using native ingredients, such as Brazilian nut, buriti oil and cupuacu butter, this universal range promises to build hair strength and dramatically reduce breakage. Sol de Janeiro Brazilian Joia Conditioner, £22, spacenk.com

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