‘I’m Sorry But You’ll Have To Share’


CONCORD, NH—Realizing there had been a major oversight during scheduling, the flustered host of a New Hampshire B&B informed Joe Biden, Bernie Sanders, Pete Buttigieg, Elizabeth Warren, and Amy Klobuchar Tuesday that they were all booked for the same room. “I’m incredibly sorry for the mix-up, but we’re completely full, and all five of you will be sharing the Lavender Room upstairs,” said the owner of The Birch Tree Inn as she led the Democratic primary candidates to their cozy floral-themed bedroom complete with a full-sized bed and antique writing desk. “The bed comfortably sleeps two, maybe three, and the other folks will need to snuggle up on the roll-out. Or we can push the bed and the roll-out together to make one real big bed so all of you can sleep together. The bathroom is down the hall, but luckily, you only have to share it with our guests in the Rose Suite. Again, I apologize for the snafu, so I’ve sent up extra towels to ensure you each get at least one.” At press time, Pete Buttigieg was spotted carrying a stack of board games up to the room after the five Democrats were unable to get Netflix to stream on Elizabeth Warren’s laptop.