A man pointed a gun at someone from whom he had unsuccessfully tried to bum a cigarette in a motel parking lot in Jackson, Miss., and said, “I bet you don’t have one of these.” He was wrong. The other guy pulled his own gun and fired, wounding him. Mississippi law allows that the shooter should not be charged in such cases.

ARE YOU SAYING THAT SEEMS STRANGE TO YOU, YOUR HONOR? … A Florida lawyer told a federal judge that she missed a court date because the opposing attorney had a microchip implanted in her brain and was using it to torture her. Officials suggested that she reach out to mental health professionals.

DOES THIS OUTFIT MAKE ME LOOK FAT? … A man stole approximately 600 girls’ gym suits and cheerleading and volleyball uniforms from dozens of high schools around Tokyo because he wanted to wear them.

LEAVE US ALONE, EARTHLING … A man forced a car off the road in Bryant, Ark., because he thought the driver was an alien, and his vehicle was a spaceship. It was actually a Plymouth. He was apparently high on methamphetamine.

YEAH, CHEF BOYARDEE IS LIKE OUR POPE … Taking advantage of an Australian law that allows members of some religions to wear headgear in ID photos, a man claimed to belong to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, and posed for his gun license picture wearing a colander on his head. Police then seized four of his guns because they thought he might be mentally unstable. He is trying to convince them that he is not.

OH MY GOD, I’VE BEEN ROBBED! … A burglar stole two cash tills and three plasma TVs from a pub in Accrington, England, then put the stuff in his car and went back into the pub for more. While he was in there, two men came along and stole his loot. Surveillance video shows the burglar with “a look of confusion” on his face when he came back outside and saw that the items he had stolen had been stolen by someone else.

I JUST HAVE TO BE INVOLVED IN THE CHICKEN BUSINESS … A 50-year-old man was fired from the Chick-fil-A restaurant in Indian Land, S.C., because he failed to show up for work. So a week later, he went and robbed his former company’s rival, Kentucky Fried Chicken, in Rock Hill.

WELL YOU SEE, THE PAIN COMES AND GOES … A man, who was involved in a “minor, fender-bender type” car accident in Pennsylvania, submitted a personal injury claim, saying that he was seriously hurt. The insurance company realized it was bogus because, while he was supposedly being treated, he ran in several marathon races.

SO YOU HAVE TO ASK YOURSELF, ‘WAS IT WORTH IT?’ … A man was fired because he showed up drunk for his job at a pavement company in Volusia County, Fla., so he set his boss’ house and pickup truck on fire. Firefighters were able to contain the damage, and the guy was arrested for arson.