So we are going to have a look at the Australian national hero, and why the attitude he exemplifies is going to save Faction Warfare from a quiet death.

So let’s talk about Australia.

Countries are famous for things.

Like the USA.

The USA who is famous for lying to the world about Iraq having weapons of mass destruction, and for following in the footsteps of the British Empire to invade nations around the world to steal their oil and other resources.

Britain is famous for taking over 3/4 of the world, massacring heaps of ethnic people and forcibly selling opium to China so that their population became unproductive and servile, is also famous for creating living conditions that were so poor that common people in Britain had to turn to stealing to feed their families.

That brings us back to Australia. What is Australia famous for?

Australia was a British prison.

First it was invaded by the British under a policy just as racist as the Nazi’s. (People from the Australian first nations were not legally recognised as human).

Then after killing a fuck-ton of locals the British set up prison camps for convicts.

Who were the convicts? They were the poor from Britain and Ireland.

The capitalist industrial revolution in Britain displaced an enormous number of people and led to the creation of massive slums and poverty in British cities. Great masses of people were poor and could not feed their families so they turned to stealing food to survive.

The number of people that this effected was so huge that Britian conquered an entire continent and massacred the locals in order to build a prison for thier own maltreated poor.

So who are Australians?

Well you have the British government and their representatives who stayed on in power.

You have the survivors of the many Aboriginal nations who were invaded and massacred. (Yes the entire state of Tasmania was systematically ethnically cleansed.)

Then you have the convicts, who most often had stolen a loaf of bread back in England in order to feed their family, and then they were shipped off to the prison camp in a desert at the arse end of the world.

I think that given this history is should be quite evident as to why Australians have an angry, “fuck you”, anti-authority attitude.

This brings us to the Australian national hero.

Ned Kelly.

“Let the hand of the law strike me down if it will, but I ask that my story might be heard and considered; not that I wish to avert any decree the law may deem necessary to vindicate justice, or win a word of pity from anyone. If my life teaches the public that men are made mad by bad treatment, and if the police are taught that they may not exasperate to madness men they persecute and illtreat, my life will not be entirely thrown away. People who live in large towns have no idea of the tyrannical conduct of the police in country places far removed from court; they have no idea of the harsh and overbearing manner in which they execute their duty, or how they neglect their duty and abuse their powers.”

Who the fuck is Ned Kelly?

He is a bush ranger.

A robber.

A land pirate.

A gun toting, armour wearing Robin Hood.

Yes the Australian national hero is a bank robber who stole from the British government representatives and their banks.

Stop for a second.

Yes the Australian national hero is an anti-authoritarian, bank-robbing, government-hating, horse-riding-pirate.

The man, the myth the legend is Ned Kelly.

What is he famous for?

Ned Kelly would rather die than surrender to the oppressors.

A hundred plus years have gone by and lots of other people arrived in Australia by boat or plane, and it is now a diverse multicultural country, but underneath that there lies the tension between the survivors of ethnic cleansing, the descendants of the oppressed poor who turned to theft to survive, and the oppressive governmental-commercial-legal class that continues to serve global imperial power.

Australia is quite unique because we have a national hero who is an anti-authority figure. Some of you may need to search harder to find an anti-authority figure in your nation.

Robin Hood maybe, or Guy Fawkes for our English friends. For our American readers I’ll forgive you if you have to go back as far as the American Revolution to find a legitimate anti-authoritarian hero you can relate to, because since that time your government has been pretty good at keeping the population docile by making sure that even the most badass anti-hero still respects the government.

Stop.

Breath.

Chillout.

I’m just kidding, mate.

I’m just having a go.

Now listen to my Crocodile Dundee accent.

“That’s not a hero, this is a hero”

You still breathing ok?

That was a little Aussie joke.

I was having a joke about who’s country has the best anti-authoritarian hero.

And I’m actually talking about real anti-authoritarian heros, the ones who have real conviction. A hero who questions the legitimacy of the entire system of national government and who through their actions openly defies it.

Does this idea trigger you?

If you identify strongly with one of the two national identities that I just made fun of you may have just had an emotional response.

There is a small chance that you may be in a rage right now.

Once your emotions are under control, if you need to get them under control that is, let’s stop and think for a minute.

A lot of Australians would happily burn our flag then piss on it to put out the fire.

Just for fun.

Is this the case for you?

Would you burn and piss on your national flag?

Do you have an irrational emotional attachment to your nation state?

Has your brain been hacked by the national Propaganda machine to make you believe that an insult to your country is an insult to you?

That some how, a massive sprawling beauracracy somehow represents you and cares about you deeply?

Don’t worry guys it’s ok.

I love you guys.

I love you heaps.

We are all in this together.

There is a lot that we can all learn from each other.

But we need to cut the bullshit and be real.

Now let’s go play some cricket together or go explode some internet spaceships.

This is a video game why the fuck are you talking about politics and shit?

I am showing that people from different cultures think differently.

The way I am writing and talking may seem alien and foreign to you. It may seem offensive, or it may feel really natural and normal.

I am intentionally highlighting the way we think and emotionally respond to things.

Because I firmly believe that it is only by changing the way we think that we can affect change in the world or in Eve Online.

What does this have to do with the big story about Australia?

Faction Warfare is CCP’s forgotten redheaded step child, who has been sent to a hot desert on the arse end of the world to quietly die of dehydration.

So yes.

Fuck you CCP.

And fuck you if you are a nerd who plays the most complex video game in history and you can’t be bothered to read a fucking page of text.

Ok yeah I read it, I just like to look edgy and post memes.

I hope that this makes the relevance of our little history lesson abundantly clear. Now go out and weaponise your memes to change the world.

No really I don’t get how it relates to Eve.

The fucked-up, brutal globe-controling empire of oppression that Ned Kelly was fighting against has sprung up in the virtual world of Eve Online.

The Evil Empire of Galmilistan

Previously known as the Gallente Milita, the Evil Empire of Galmilistan is made up of a group of mercenary corporations that fight for the Gallente nation in return for payment in loyalty points. The leaders of these mercenary corporations, together form an oligarchy, the orwellian Inner Party of Galmilistan; a vampiric, ego-stroking, circle-jerking, orgy of oppression.

The Inner Party controls the Outer Party which is made up of the mercenary corporations that serve the Empire of Galmilistan.

In turn the Outer Party opresses the Proles, the great suffering masses that inhabit the regions of Placid and Black Rise.

The Galmilistani Inner Party understand the terrain of the warzone and how to control it’s economic and human resources. Due to their deep understanding of human motivation they know that if their Empire is ever revealed for what it is then the masses they are oppressing will wake up and rise against them. As it stands they are able to slowly grow their Empire without drawing attention to themselves. Even now they are encroaching onto nullsec, in addition to their ever growing customs office conglomerate. Placid and Black Rise suffer their rule in docile servitude.

The number one element that enables the rule of the Galmilistani Inner Party is the sweet sounding lie of freedom and false democracy.

One man stands against this Evil Empire. Sheltark Sykari. The Okkamon Pirate, the reincarnation of Ned Kelly.

He is not the hero we wanted. He is the hero we deserve.

And he has one thing on his mind.

To Smash and Dash the cock sucking, green supremacist, black murdering Empire of Galmilistan.