Women tell of ‘bereavement’ because they will be too old for fertility treatment when the coronavirus shutdown ends

Thousands of couples may have missed their last chance of conceiving via IVF as fertility clinics shut their doors to patients on Wednesday. Some women who are only just young enough to be eligible for treatment will be too old in a few months’ time.

The Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA), which regulates Britain’s fertility industry, has ordered private and NHS clinics to stop treating patients who are in the middle of an IVF cycle by 15 April. All new treatments have already been banned, a decision which is likely to prevent the births of at least 20,000 desperately wanted babies if it remains in place for 12 months.

Some couples say they have had scans and treatments cancelled hours or even minutes before they were due to take place, and many fear their chance of conceiving will have disappeared completely by the time the lockdown ends.

“You can’t rewind your biological clock,” said Dr Catherine Hill, of the reproductive research charity Progress Educational Trust. “Time is of the essence when it comes to fertility treatment. For some people, this shutdown means they may never become parents. This was going to be their last chance and they’re not able to have it. That is deeply distressing and traumatising.”

The latest figures from the HFEA show that more than 54,000 patients underwent 75,000 fertility treatments in 2017, resulting in 20,500 births. “If these numbers are similar for 2020 – and we expect them to have increased – this pandemic is silently affecting the lives of many more people than is immediately obvious,” said Gwenda Burns, chief executive of the charity Fertility Network UK.

She said women in their late 30s and early 40s were feeling particularly anxious, fearing that clinicians may decide they are too old to continue their IVF treatment when the shutdown ends. NHS clinical commissioning groups do not generally allow women a second round of IVF after they hit 40, and stop offering any treatment at 42; private clinics typically refuse to treat women aged 45 or over.

“It would be beneficial if the government could give assurances that patients will not be disadvantaged as a result of treatment being paused due to Covid-19,” said Burns.

Calls to the charity’s counselling helpline have increased by 50% over the past three weeks, with psychologists warning that the coronavirus shutdown is having a “devastating” impact on the mental health of IVF patients and putting a big strain on the marriages of infertile couples.

“For a lot of people, their hope of a family life has just been taken away,” said Christina Fraser, a relationship counsellor at Coupleworks. The infertile couples she is counselling are experiencing the same emotions people typically suffer when they are bereaved, she said. “For a lot of couples it’s a secret – they haven’t told people. So they’re grieving on their own. And they can’t even go round the corner to their mum for a hug.”

Hearing others complain about how irritating it is to be around their children all day or joke about how there is going to be a baby boom in nine months’ time is often particularly painful for these couples, causing displaced resentment and triggering “dreadful rows” about insignificant grievances. “There’s nowhere for them to put all their anger and grief. And if people sit on those feelings and can’t express them, that can really lead to depression,” Fraser said.

I broke down. I’m aware that every day, at my age, my eggs diminish ‘Rose’

The Observer has been contacted by more than a dozen couples who were expecting to start treatment just as the shutdown began. One woman, whose husband can no longer produce sperm after undergoing chemotherapy for testicular cancer, will turn 39 next month and was recently told her egg reserves have begun to decline. She fears that, by the time the shutdown ends, she will be unable to conceive. “Essentially, the situation with Covid-19 is my worst nightmare becoming a reality,” she said.

Rose (not her real name), 41, and her husband sold their home to pay for private IVF treatment after struggling to conceive for three years. She spent the first three weeks of March injecting herself with hormones every day, before being told, just 45 minutes before she was due to attend a scan, that her entire treatment was cancelled. “I broke down. I’m aware that every day, at my age, my eggs diminish,” she said.

She has been having terrible mood swings ever since and getting into “huge arguments over very small things” with her husband. “We’ve even had discussions where we’ve told each other to go and find someone else, someone younger or more fertile.” Although she is seeking counselling for her feelings of despair and depression, he doesn’t want to. “It’s absolutely awful.”

Worst of all, she said, is the lack of recognition that infertile couples are suffering as a result of Covid-19. “You haven’t even got anything to show for your grief, if that makes sense. You haven’t got a grave to sit by. You just have to internalise it or it will drive you insane.”



