Death Grips Fan Sick of Tattoo Artists Telling Him They Won’t Write That on There

SEATTLE — Local dishwasher Freddie Young is frustrated by his inability to find an artist willing to tattoo Death Grips lyrics anywhere on his body, inked-up sources confirm.

“This is the kind of bullshit anyone with tattoos is used to,” Young said with an aggressively guttural vocal effect. “They try to convince you that when you’re older, you’ll regret having an opaque rap reference permanently needled where anyone can read it. It’s one thing to hear it from your family, your girlfriend, your boss, your drug dealer, or your parole officer — it’s another thing to hear it from 34 consecutive tattoo artists over an eight-month period. It’s tiring. It makes me want to go have a sad cum.”

According to sources within the Seattle tattoo community, the artists’ refusal to accommodate the harsh, experimental tattoo has less to do with doubts of commitment and more to do with personal boundaries.

“I never turn down a job. I’ve done gang signs, swastikas, QAnon stuff, weird anime shit, you name it — hell, I’ll tattoo someone’s name on your neck after a first date. But doing a fucking Death Grips tattoo is against everything I stand for as a human,” said local tattooer Damien Carwin. “Just thinking about having to make the stencil and spending time writing out that group’s lyrics makes me nauseous and gives me a headache. Sorry, buddy. Get a friend to stick-and-poke that atrocity on you.”

Indeed, other Death Grips fans confirmed similar refusals.

“As one of the oldest Death Grips fans around, I’ve seen this story countless times,” said Alan Bostick, 29. “Ambitious fans try and try to show their devotion to the world’s most raw hip hop group of all time, only to be denied by the tat establishment. They’ll fight the good fight for a little bit until giving up and settling for another eyebrow or nipple ring. I hate to see it.”

Compounding his frustration, Young claimed that no insurance company will cover his 1994 Acura Integra until he removes the dozens of Death Grips decals from the car’s bumper.