Imagine you’re going to be a parent. The only problem is, you’re not ready, you don’t have the money, or you just flat out don’t want kids. Well, are you a woman? Then you’re in luck! You have options to get out of this consequence free. Are you a man? Sorry, you don’t have a choice.

This is the reality of how our fathers are treated in this country. Look at it like this; If a woman gets pregnant and decides — for whatever reason- that she doesn’t want to be a parent. She can either get an abortion or put the baby up for adoption. Both options there would be no legal consequences. If a man gets a woman pregnant he has no other choice but to pay child support to the mother. How can we see this as okay? It’s obviously completely one-sided.

More than 80% of mothers will gain custody whether the father wants it or not. There was once even a presumption stating children should always stay with their mothers after divorce that courts saw as law. It’s been dismissed in most states, however they still feel that since the mother is the “Structure of the marriage”, it would be in the childs best interest. As I did more and more research into this I was a little shock to see that there are forums and sites dedicated to helping men get custody by telling them what the judge will look for in him and how to let him know he will take care of his child/children. Do women have to prove they’re a good parent and give a speech to judge on how they will care for their children? No.

Sometimes the father will get custody, and yes, he can demand child support. However, the chances of getting child support from a woman are significantly lower. Up until recently, women weren’t even required to pay it. For the few times this does happen, not only are they also paying on average about $2,000 less, they also are less likely to actually pay it to the father with almost no consequences.

For the father, consequences for falling behind on child support can be life changing. The first offense of falling behind will be a hearing. If you miss this hearing a warrant for your arrest will be issued out. If you go, the judge will charged you with a misdemeanor, resulting in a $2,500 dollar fine (on top of also having to catch up on your payments), and up to 6 months in jail. Repeated offenses can result in a felony charge and 18 months in jail. In Georgia 3,500 people were jailed in a year for missed payments. In only 2 new jersey counties 1,800 were either jailed or had ankle bracelets for missed payments. For Walter Scott, these laws were deadly.

After an unexpected life event, causing more bills and problems, he fell a bit behind on child support. The mother reported it, and went to jail for 2 weeks and received a fine. The jail time caused him to lose his job, one he described as his dream job. One he worked to get for years and was making $50,000 a year. After that payments got harder and he fell behind. He eventually was $8,000 in child support debt. Less than 2 years later and a lot of legal trouble from his debt, he was in debt by $18,000. A warrant was issued for his arrested. Not soon after he got pulled over for a broken tail light and fearing more jail time, he took off on foot in an attempt to escape. The cop then fatally shot him.

This isn’t even an issue for only fathers. At this time in our country, 1.6 million men are paying child support for children that aren’t even theirs. where is the justice in that?

So, why not just pay the child support? Unfortunately, it’s not always so easy. An urban study done over the nine top largest states indicated that 70% of Child support payers — 85% of those being men- were making less than $10,000 a year, yet courts were expecting them to pay 83% of their yearly incomes in child support. Personal issue and life events play a huge role as well, like in the case of three veterans all paying child support. One had already paid $75,000 but then lost his job as his PTSD worsened and multiple deaths happened in his family. Another had a doctors note stating he was mentally ill and was not allowed to work. The last one was incarcerated, and even then managed to pay $3,500 over a few months by working odd jobs in the prison. However, the judge still ruled against all of them, as well as said they did not have the categorical right to a lawyer.

Why do we let this abuse continue? Not as men and women, but as human beings; Why are we allowing our country to treat men this way? Maybe we can’t just get rid of child support and there are situations it’s needed and fair, but until we can know the money is being used for the children and that the mother and father still have enough money to live and at the very least have the basic necessities, why are we not talking about it and trying to change it?