I look back, say about 2 or 3 years give or take, and realize that I’ve actually made magnificent progression with who am I today in more ways than one. Apart from the obligatory personal growth, which I credit to going to college, traveling, dealing with heartbreak, and meeting a diverse range of individuals online and offline, I can attest to you my wardrobe has changed so much since I first discovered my enthusiasm for fashion. It might sound a little corny, but fashion has given me another sense of purpose aside from just trying to eclipse my peers and lift my ego. For my fellow millennials, validation seems to be an incredibly important component to function in today’s society. Even more so for guys, prestige is generally shown through different levels of display, whether that would be having a fancy car, a beautiful girlfriend, a great career, a stylish home, or owning a ridiculous wardrobe and/or sense of style. To my way of thinking, I can assure you that there are no words within my extensive vocabulary that can truly convey the contrast of my peers like my wardrobe.

I know it sounds fairly cliche, but most people will judge you off of the first glance they have of you, as much as people want to brainwash themselves not to. Going to a party or a fancy outing in with great style would be comparable to the way you would be treated if you were to drive an Aston Martin to a Nissan Altima. Of course, something as arbitrary as compliments or “turning heads” should not be the main facilitator in why you should be working towards have a your own personal style, yet in today’s culture, prestige goes a long way. The way you are perceived can easily make or break you.

From the very first instances of perception, some things are grateful and others unwelcome to us; some things we incline to, and others we fly. John Locke

In modern civilization, I feel as if one of the things most men are losing sight of is developing their own personal style. Personal style is kind of like a pilgrimage though; You can’t start a trek around the world and expect to finish in a day, as well as not expect come across some obstacles on your way. Quite literally, what I see online are people taking the easy way out and just replicating whatever their famous fashion icon’s style might be at their current period of their life, as opposed to drawing influence from them and incorporating your own flare (And do not worry, for I am guilty of this as well). From Kanye West and the Haider Ackermann/Bottega Veneta (Chelsea Boots) wave, to Rakim Mayers and the Palace/Gosha/Dior aesthetic, often times people just starting out in fashion will assume that it’s perfectly acceptable to completely mimic ones looks, all while thinking that lines up with having a personal style, yet is contradictory per se. The entire motif behind having an authentic appearance is to be able to express your individuality through your garments. Your respective clothing should be pieces that provide your authentic outlook on culture, realistic experiences, and a valuable understanding of what certain brands can do to portray your values best, all while being aesthetically pleasing to the wandering eye.

It’s incredibly frustrating nowadays to see the masses fascination with poverty versions of their icon’s outfits (e.g. Kanye), but condemn other people that decide to be out of the norm. If individuals ever want to progress their wardrobe, as well as their mindsets, in any way, they should know that the best way to do so is by getting off of Tumblr, fashion forums, and the online realm to start experiencing the world. The internet is more of a facilitator; you’re not meant to live your life out on “what ifs” and “I wish I was him/hers.” If you want to be in their position so bad, the best way to get there is to go out and live it.

“Out there things can happen, and frequently do,

To people as brainy and footsy as you.

And when things start to happen, don’t worry, don’t stew.

Just go right along, you’ll start happening too!” ― Dr. Seuss, Oh, The Places You’ll Go!

Dr. Seuss will literally always be relevant, regardless of age.

Pause for a moment.

At this point, it probably seems like I have a flawless sense of style, and I essentially came out the womb wearing Balmain Biker Jeans, SLP 40 Wyatt Harness Boots, and a Surface 2 Air Black and Red Biker Jacket similar to the one Kid Cudi wore (…which would make an incredibly dope outfit for a baby boy), but I was not always the most sensible person when it came to acquiring personal style. In fact, allow me to digress for a bit and actually delve into my personal journey regarding the progression of my style.

Although I will have to admit, I had to traverse through numerous terrible (generally impulse) purchases, as well as breaking plenty of hive-mind, internet-based mentalities in order to truly progress; none of which was done in days, weeks, or months. I required years to figure out what I truly liked, what had to be weeded out since I really didn’t think fit my personality (Shoutouts to menswear and preppy clothing, both of which are pretty awful), and what I was genuinely comfortable wearing to represent myself. What really sparked my quest to traverse for personal style was an article I saw on Complex known as “No New Trends: A Stylish Guy’s Struggle to Renounce Fads and Create a Personal Uniform” written by former fashion editor Corey Stokes. At that exact moment, the foundation of my questioning of my tastes in clothing began, yet little did I know I would not be able to entirely understand the big picture for another few years. I went from dumping my wardrobe and starting a new one, to having to do the same thing every 6 months. Time and time again, I would tell myself:

Early 2014: “Okay, this is my year. I’m not going to buy into trends like I do every year. Focus on just getting basics and not too many hype pieces.”

Mid 2014: “Wait…who’s this <insert new popular designer here> fellow?”

Late 2014: *looks at closet* “….fuck.”

2015 = Repeat of 2014

…You get the idea. I kept having to reassure myself that I wouldn’t make the same mistakes like I would in the previous months and fail subsequently. I’d keep wasting money on other styles entirely. I’d go from minimalistic Scandinavian streetwear ensembles (Norse Projects and Our Legacy, cropped trousers, and low top sneakers such as Common Projects or Stan Smiths), to the Saint Laurent Paris-inspired look (Flannels, biker and denim jackets, chelsea boots, skinny jeans), to a grunge sort of aesthetic (Oversized sweaters, ripped jeans, and Dr. Martens 1460s). And of course while I’m getting into these things, I tried to feel like I was also “living the lifestyle” by trying to connect with various types of music and attitudes these aesthetics paid a lot of homage to. While I did expand my overall music knowledge and taste, none of it truly felt authentic to me. I knew good and well I couldn’t really get into Saint Laurent Paris-inspired aesthetics without having the proper budget (and let’s be real here, a lot of the clothes are cut relatively slim and I could lose a few pounds), or truly being able to appreciate the inner workings of the minimalistic Scandinavian-inspired streetwear approach without having the proper influences and motivation to do so.

I can kind of gauge what you must think of me at this point. It just sounds like I’m holding myself back from truly being happy style-wise. Sure, that may be some part of it, but alternatively, when I would abruptly change my wardrobe, I would always have some sort of doubt in my mind about why I was dressing a certain way. Part of it was because I wanted to appeal to the internet hivemind, while the other half was wanting to fake confidence in myself. “If I can’t be super popular in real life, at least the internet would have my back, right? At least I could seem cooler than I am…”, and I can assure you that this line of thinking is incredibly detrimental to true stylistic growth.

It was pretty obvious. I was dealing with internal issues with myself, above all else. I was too indecisive. I had to have a label on things. I felt as if I was not being validated enough. I wasn’t muscular enough. I wasn’t skinny enough. I’m black. It’ll look weird if I attempt to pull off something that “black people don’t wear regularly”. It’s too much money. It looks bad. It looks too fancy for me. So on and so forth.

Even if whatever I was wearing looked fantastic, it would only make me feel more and more insecure. When all was said and done, I would still go back to my old, self-pitying ways feigning all of that assurance that I just had with the garments on. You can’t really blame me though, right? I mean, I’m in my 20s. I still get the excuse of not truly discovering who I am yet. I know I’m not the only person who goes through ordeals such as this.

Moving past all of these phases, I guess I could honestly say that I had to have a sort of mental breakthrough to be able to truly understand what I was doing wrong and why I was picking in between styles left and right. When I started gaining actual confidence in myself, that’s when my tastes truly started to show. I suddenly didn’t care about Saint Laurent Paris, Norse Projects, Supreme, or Raf Simons, as in I didn’t try to look like a catalog model as opposed to garnering influences from the aesthetics. Hell, one of the biggest motivators was the late A$AP Yams. Dude truly dressed however he wanted, and he still had an incredible amount of confidence. I aspired. I wanted to be on the same boat. I just started doing whatever made me happy.

Fast forward to now. One day, I’d be wearing a Coogi “Cosby-esque” sweater with irregular patterns and stitching, coupled with some fuckboy shoes like Adidas Superstars, then maybe the next day it’d be a white t-shirt with some Saint Laurent Paris Harness Wyatt boots and black jeans, and after that possibly an entire Nike Tech Fleece Sweatsuit. I didn’t care anymore. I didn’t want to have to appeal to the masses. I felt so good wearing whatever I wanted because I truly took interest in the way it looks, not for the appeasing/hype factor.

I felt free.

I feel like if you want to achieve the same type of nirvana, you have to go about doing an entire purge of your mind before a purge of your wardrobe. One of the main reasons as to why a lot of people really don’t get to the point where it looks like they differentiate themselves through their attire would be because individuality nowadays is subjugated.

Everyone wants to feel like they’re a special butterfly, and to be fair everyone is in their own right, but what does it truly mean to be different? Now, I’m not saying I’m personally doing anything revolutionary style-wise (See: Jaden Smith for Louis Vuitton S/S 2016, Young Thug for Saint Laurent Paris, etc.) from what’s already been done, nor am I an innovator of some sort, but I can assure you that I’m beginning to dress in a way where the spectrum is a little less broad.

Think about it: How often do you see someone who believes they are “fashion savvy,” yet wear the same outfit of H&M ripped skinny jeans, Adidas Stan Smiths, MA-1 Bomber Jackets, and a Nike baseball cap? There is no variety in that outfit. It’s the cookie cutter Bryson Tiller swagless Tumblr ensemble that the masses seem to adore. This is what is deemed normal. The botheration is that it’s incredibly frustrating to see that this paradigm is what’s being followed religiously, yet any form on innovation, as incomprehensible as it might look or not, is completely shut down and dismissed because it does not fit the uniformity of “proposed aesthetics”.

How do people truly plan to grow stylistically if they aren’t able to experiment? They aren’t able to branch out or be comfortable within their own skin. It gets exceedingly exhausting to see everyone around me trying to dress like a Bryson Tiller clone, or a poverty Saint Laurent model, or Kanye West due to the nature of how social media (namely Tumblr and Instagram) plays an influence on aesthetics. People need to understand that one can’t individually grow without taking risks and being comfortable.

And this is not something people overcome all in one night. Sometimes it requires justification. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it, as some might say. However, if you ever want to be respected in the realm of fashion, you have to break out of this perception that hive-mind internet fashion is the way to go.

Now, how does one get past this toxic mindset? For me, one of the biggest influences to my growth was actually looking outside of my normal mediums.

Instead of finding inspiration on Tumblr and Instagram, I would go read magazines or visit art shows. Going out and taking photographs of landscapes, visiting museums, and other out-of-the-ordinary influences can shape your imagination in a different way. Keep an open mind about who you come across and what you see. People find inspiration in some of the wildest things.

I guess my entire point kind of lies within the simple, most timeless phrase: “Be yourself.” I want people to have a completely different outlook on what things impact your stylistic growth. You shouldn’t have to always look on Hypebeast or Highsnobiety to get your fix on what to wear. There are other mediums and outlets out there. You just have to go about doing some soul searching, as well as opening your mind, to get to it.

It’s a journey, not a race.