Editor’s note: Eric has been trying to get me to post this note for almost a year now, and I’m usually all, “but it’s not, you know, real!” and he’s all, “but it’s real(ly) funny!” (A point I had to concede). And so, in honor of April 1 (a.k.a. Ninja Note Day on PAN) I’m offering this note amnesty. —Kerry



Writes our anonymous submitter from Dayton, Ohio: “Sent by what appears to be a group of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle aficionados*, this letter was received last year after the somewhat eccentric and always-crazy editor of a small toy magazine erroneously described one of the characters as an ‘evil enemy rat.’”

*We had our crack research staff (read: Google) look into the authors’ identities, and the results were shocking: the letter was written by then-interns at The Onion, and sent from the publication’s New York offices.

related: On jamming