Vladimir Putin says his life is a bottomless bowl of cherries – and that things are always great because he’s “not a woman.”

“I am not a woman, so I don’t have bad days,” the Russian strongman said in a cream puff interview at the Kremlin with conspiracy theorist and filmmaker Oliver Stone.

“I am not trying to insult anyone. That’s just the nature of things. There are certain natural cycles.”

The “JFK” and “Wall Street” director had access to Putin for over two years to create a Showtime series that will air starting June 12, Bloomberg reported.

In addition to reveling in his manly manliness, Putin said Edward Snowden was wrong to release US secrets, that he lifts weights and swims every day, and that a 2013 Russian law barring distribution of “gay propaganda” to minors does not mean gays are discriminated against in Russia.

“There are no restrictions whatsoever,” he said.

But asked if he’d take a shower in a submarine next to a gay man, the Russian leader laughed before replying.

“Well, I prefer not to go to the shower with him. Why provoke him? But you know, I’m a judo master,” he said.