New Microaggression Goggles Help You Find Something Offensive In Any Situation

U.S.—A new pair of Microaggression Goggles has been made available for people who want to find something offensive in any situation.

The goggles are available on Kickstarter. The promotional video claims that the goggles are able to actively identify threats to political correctness and alert you when you're about to be dangerously oppressed.

"Are you tired of having to search for something to be oppressed by?" a voiceover says in the ad. "With our patented microaggression-tracking technology, you won't have to search any longer. Now, you can instantly identify up to 100 things to be offended by in any conversation."

The product will detect a wide range of microaggressions, including the following:

White privilege

MAGA hats

Smiling at you without your consent

Manspreading

Mansplaining

Manbreathing

Manexisting

Lack of avocado toast

Cultural appropriation

Cultural exclusion

Being hateful toward women

Being too friendly toward women

Not liking The Last Jedi

You can back the goggles for $99 at a base level or spend $4,999 on a deluxe edition that includes a white guy who will follow you around so you can claim to be even more oppressed. The Kickstarter creator believes they will ship within the next decade.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. Get FREE Access *with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee