please note "high dive" in the subject or body of your donation.



anything to anyone // i've found the best words to say are the ones where you don't say anything / and i've found the best part to play is the one with the straight face / and i can be so casual when i lie / pointless, worthless / the way i wish i felt not just part of the time / slurring spiteful and partly true rhymes / when i was young i thought i would become someone / a little bit older, those i idolized let me fall / so far, so lonely and listless / that i learned on my own how to lie / to get what i wanted / when those all around me played apathetic / or just plain pathetic / i'm not even sure that they tried to be anything to anyone / i've found the best words to say are the ones where you don't say anything / i've found the best way to fight the emptiness is to pretend you don't think about it every day coffee and ice water // we went out on the bridge that summer / by the sunlit waters i emptied out my glass / then threw away 2 years thinking of each other / took the airplane home / then when i woke up there was coffee and ice water / it's as good a start as any / after you go to bed i stay up / clean the house / touch the corners that we never use / what's the point in arguing? / i'm a lion, you're a tiger / nothing feels as clear as coffee and ice water / you do it, you do it, you do it, you do it, you do it, then you do it again / then one day you find out you don't have to pretend anymore / we went out on the bridge that autumn / water green and tumbling beneath the parliament / i thought, "i could just stay here. i could run away here. i could just stay here." right words to say // well you told me you were thinking of leaving / i said, "i know why you feel that way / sometimes i feel that way too" / then you told me you were leaving / i said "there is nothing left here for me anymore / but i'll put my head down, i will get to work" / well you told me, "you just sit there like a waste of space / yeah, you never say anything" / so i decided not to say anything / then you told me, "everyone you know, they hate you" / and i didn't say anything / oh, i never say anything / and on days when i forget i'm lucky / and i can find ten thousand reasons to stay in bed / i try to make the best of this mess i've been given / i will not waste it / well you told me that you were so happy to know me / i sat like a deer in headlights / too scared to move, too afraid to run away / and what could i do anyway? / yeah, i have always been this way / oh, how could i say anything? / i'll find the right words to say someday through all of it // i let myself get caught up in all the lies you told to me / i let myself get dragged down by all the things you tried to make me believe / and through all of it / i never thought that / i could be anything other than wrong / and through all of it / i must have forgotten the thing / i've been trying to say all along / that we all lose sight of ourselves / we all get so down sometimes / we tell lies and we start fights / we get lonely / we were raised to be so solitary / we forget that we can't make it on our own / i will give you the benefit of the doubt this time / but i won't let you make me feel like i'm worthless / when i know that i'm trying / i won't let myself believe / that i could be anything less than the good i know i can be equal and opposite // you said, "hop the fence / oh, there will be no consequences / every dollar is money spent / and money spent's no good” / i said, "nice to meet you / but i don't think i need to know your name / i think i'll just stand in line and pay" / we drove through the night / it was so good to see you when we arrived / you seemed so glad to see me too / you said you feel the sadness with all of you / it makes you feel alive / i told you that i just want to die / but hold on is all we can do / and hope we don't run out of time to save the things we need to / and try to build a world that works a little bit better than it used to / you said, "hop the fence / oh, there will be no consequences” / but the insurance paid for the bricks through the windows / the ceo's pockets are still lined with gold / so if you want to let them win / keep talking shit on the internet / so when we fall, divided / it will be our own damn fault again / for every action an equal and opposite / for every action consider the consequence the letting down i've done // i heard you say a lot of people tend to let you down / i thought what a shame you haven't learned by now / that ice takes so long to form and only seconds to break / even under careful steps and cautious, well-intentioned weight / in the car back to chicago, i wanted to know you / you wanted to know me closer than i knew / when i slept beside you, i turned my face away / we both knew it felt wrong, we did it anyway / i don't know if i know what it means to love someone so much that you'd do anything / not just to keep them from leaving, but just to make them happy with nothing in return / yeah, i am just too selfish for this selfless kind of work / and when i heard you say a lot of people let you down / well i thought i feel the same way / but i am wondering now if that's just a reflection of the letting down i've done / and with steps i thought were cautious, i broke through the ice, i've sunk / in the car back to chicago i wanted to know you / more than anything i wanted you to know me / and we both wound up broken as typically we do / and i'm sorry if you loved me and i never loved you sirens // you drove all night back to his apartment / and he slept with his arms around you / you lay awake, too nervous to move / you drove back home with your head spinning / you made it halfway across the pennsylvania turnpike on a tank of gas / you checked your messages, hoping he would call and ask you to turn back / but all you hear are sirens / all you see is dark when you close your eyes / every wound reopened leaves another scar glistening in the light / i wish i would call you just to make sure you're all right / instead i stayed up all night dreaming of a new life / but june came and august went / then fall turned to winter / you told yourself maybe in the spring / he told you don't take it personally / i stayed up all night / you never thought twice about me i know / we could've been so happy / (you barely knew me) / i knew i didn't want to be alone / i stayed up all night telling myself lies psalm // footprints in wet snow remind of something already gone / let it go / let it be gone / things you can't measure obscured by attempts at measuring / a compass and a ruler held to hearts and relating / both harrowed and harrowing / both master and slave / make me a psalm, sung out of tune on a sunday / unsure, place me in parentheses / tell me i'm talking too much / i'll keep my mouth shut for days, for weeks / we're not saying anything anyway / pretend regrets are malleable, that decision can be rearranged / call me up, don't say a word / just listen to ourselves breathing / above existing / estranged by memory / tossed in the corner / obsolete untouched // while i pretend asleep in the car, in the back seat / hear your voice so high and clear / it's a song i've never heard / what parts do you keep in your big desk, folded / that i'll never see? / mystery. "oh, my needs are quiet," you say / you look so untouched now / i built suits of armor for the things that burn us / but yours sat empty / you never needed it anyway / why did i bring you water for the thirst that was my own? / it's still relentless / now our mutual friends say i'll see you tonight / across that burning bridge / we'll exchange pleasantries / there are things you've put away in your big desk, folded / that i'll never see / what have you put away? last time in lexington // one hundred years from now, what will be left of the homes we grew up in? / just foundations crumbling and walls falling to the ground / but our legs, our knees, and our feet are stronger than concrete / stronger than anything that shakes the ground beneath them / you came to town / you were singing about making a family wherever you can find one / and i felt so strongly that i wanted to be your family / well i hope we can be one / growing up could be so lonely / we still had to do so much growing / we lost a friend / it makes me happy to know that his family stretched across forty-eight states / and we will not forget him / 'cause our legs and our knees / our feet and our heartbeats are stronger than concrete / stronger than anything that shakes them / growing up could be so painful / for you my friend, i am so grateful / you taught me to live free from fear / and that i've got good family here / and that when i am old and i'm ready to go / my house will fall down but my feet will stay planted firmly on the ground how to grow // i saw you reveling in death / instead of working towards a world we can live in without living in fear / and i saw you searching for a reason / to hate the things we built / the reasons why we live here / and i know sometimes it's easier to be unhappy / than admit that you could change your mind / and i know sometimes it's easier to side with the struggle / than admit some compromise / but we are learning how to grow / and how to ask for what we need when we feel / underwhelmed and overworked / we can't do it alone / and i try to remind myself that i am greater as a part than as a sum of one / and i try to remember a bridge is made up of ten thousand pieces held strong / and a community takes cooperation these are days // i remember the day i first met you / we couldn't fall asleep / we lay awake 'til the sun came into your bedroom / we were so young, and we were so fearless / not afraid to fall in love / not afraid to let our whole hearts get crushed / i remember when i first moved to this town / we stayed out every night / not afraid of the early summer morning's harsh light / but i grew tired and i grew restless / i guess what else can you do / when you live in a town with all of your best friends / but these are days / and i wouldn't trade my life for any other / and i am thankful for the times we spent breaking ourselves of our bad habits / we gained new ones and i'm sure that in six months or six years we will look back and say / we were so young and so reckless but we are thankful for how we have changed / so i'll try to make every day a little better than yesterday

