Its Time to go...

To everyone and anyone who has known me,



I know I haven't always made the greatest decisions regarding this community; but, If anyone has needed help I know I've been there to the best of my ability.



I've poured a lot of myself into this community - always being vocal and active among many of my peers. As my current self, I don't feel the effort I'm putting into the game is reciprocated by me when it comes to life outside of video games.



To keep it short, video games have always been a passion and a massive free-time sink when higher-priority life things (school, sports, job) were on the to-do list for the next day. However, when Rocket League came out, I changed.



No longer did this studious kid in the top percentile of his class, the guy on top of everything, the guy you could reference to on a new topic... that guy is gone.



Gone forever? I don't know at this moment.



What I DO know and feel, however, is that as time goes on for me, "this" me is going to become permanent; bound by fear, embarrassment, and ultimately will succumb to depression and failure in the near future.



The person I want to be no longer resides in this form, save for the rare occasion when all of the bad parts of me muster up an illusion of the me that once was.



If you've stuck with me for this long, you can rest now, the philosophical mumbo is over with.



Over the past two years, Rocket League has grown into something that none of us early birds expected. From only ESL's to the first ever LAN... its been a crazy ride. I recently attended NBC LAN in California as a player... a PLAYER... my highest achievement.



While Psyonix has done everything right in growing their esports scene, I have done everything wrong in growing myself as a person. I have lost the last two years of my life to this addiction, through no one's fault but my own. I realize now that at this moment in time every move I make will lead me to who I truly am, whether it be to the man I want to be, or worse... it will be the death of me.



Peacin' out on my own terms this time



- Stev



Now, time to thank the people in Lights Out.



The respect the people have for one another at Light Out is second to none in this community. I've been around for a while and I say this this with all my heart.



Toe

You're the true embodiment of an honorable Canadian. You're reserved, but humble. You're kind and generous. You're going places that I wish to have achieved in my career. You're the hardest worker on the team - so keep at it.



Austo

Your jokes are god awful yet you still laugh at them; One day I'll drink to that. Sometimes you say the wrong things but your apologies are sincere and your intentions pure. By the way, I actually enjoyed your editing skills, I just gave you shit for it.



Greg

I hate you for liking Ohio State. Other than that, you're one of the most caring individuals I know in this community. Being able to hold an intellectual conversation with you is truly a great experience, each and every time. Wish you the best, man.



King Lebraeon

Dude, you're f***'ing nuts, you just have to get out of your own head. I know that you have expectation for yourself, but focus on having some fun. Take a chill pill, don't take the game so seriously and find your passion. If you can do that, you're golden ponyboy.



Kev

You're the first guy I talked to when I was LFT. At the time, something just felt right with how you presented yourself, that's why I committed to Lights Out! right away. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't be able to make the decision to walk away and help myself. The Light's Out system, the learned positivity and ability to come in each and every day with something to work on, is in my experience, all thanks to you. How you handled and confronted me about the at-the-time toxicity about your play still runs through my head. I couldn't be more thankful for the confrontation because it has made me understand the consequences of my actions and taught me treat everyone with respect, You truly are the most genuine and respectable person in this community and I wish you the world. Your YouTube channel sucks now, though.. =/



To anyone wanting to join Lights Out!...

Know that you will have a good time, but your attitude and actions will be a judge of character for the guys, and even if you might be a good player, they're more interested in a good person willing to work.



P.S.

For the final time... I like trucks.



-Stephen Edinger

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