THEY are the tireless workers who slave away to make you McHappy. But has anybody stopped to ask the employees at the world’s biggest fast food chain how they’re doing?

Evidently pining for an outlet, McDonald’s staff have taken their stories online with hilarious, mouth-watering results.

A forum dedicated to tales from behind the service counter has revealed a world where anything is possible, including artery-clogging super burgers.

But it’s not all fun. One employee tells of that time she “smushed” a McFlurry and how she’s “still freaked out”. Another complains that he was given hundreds of dollars of counterfeit money because his boss never showed him how to spot the difference.

Welcome to the “McLounge”.

REDDIT McLOUNGE

On the world wide web there is a place where McDonald’s employees gather. The exact location is a forum within website Reddit, a place where members of the Macca’s community submit their deepest, darkest secrets about Ronald and the Hamburgler and the rest of the gang. So what are they saying?

CRAZY CUSTOMERS, NON-STOP VOMITING, “I’M STILL FREAKED OUT”

Among the hundreds of horror stories from under the giant golden arches are some that are deeply concerning. One employee said that on her fourth shift she fell violently ill. What happened next will make you reconsider next time you get a hankering for a cheeseburger.

“On just my fourth shift and about two hours into it, I suddenly had to run to the toilet and began throwing up,” the employee wrote.

“After about ten minutes I went back downstairs and told my manager what had happened, to which he replied ‘well what do you want me to do about it, I need you here’. Throughout the day I must have ran to the toilet to be sick around eight times in the space of the three hours, I looked pale and could barely even walk, yet my manager refused to send me home, and even yelled at me at one point for having to run to the bathroom and leave him. It wasn’t until I was basically passed out when they finally sent me home.”

By that time, the employee had been working for six hours straight. Food handling, interspersed with vomiting.

I’m lovin’ it.

She asked if it was legal to be kept at work and handling food in such a circumstance.

We doubt it.

Other situations are less serious. One employee wrote about how she was grossly underprepared for operating the ice-cream machine.

“She had me make a small McFlurry and I completely messed it up,” she wrote. “The lid came off and somehow I smushed it. It all happened so fast, I’m still freaked out!”

Counterfeit money led one employee’s list of “biggest disasters”. On shift during the early hours of the morning and less than a day removed from handing in his resignation, the Maccas staffer was asked if he could change seven $20 notes for different bills. He obliged, only to find that the money was counterfeit.

“The true kicker in all of this is a location close to mine apparently got hit by the same guys a little while ago and the only people who knew were the two assistant managers and one general manager,” he said.

“Should they not have some sort of duty to inform us? The bills didn’t feel counterfeit.”

The worst thing that happens to employees, however, is the “sh***y” customers.

“F*** you and your extra red onions,” one employee wrote.

HOW NOT TO GET FAT — “I GO HOME CRAVING FRENCH FRIES”

One can only imagine the temptation faced by those who deliver the delicious, salty, heart-stopping fries daily. One employee said it best.

“I’m a new employee, and I do NOT want to eat the food, ever ... but I go home craving french fries,” she said.

So, what advice did her all-knowing colleagues give her?

“Eat fries every day,” one said. “Eventually, you will get sick of them. Just smelling them will make you gag.”

Another told her to get a position that “makes you walk and work your ass off”.

Avoiding the food is not a problem for some. Many use the job as a means of creating super foods not fit for any McDonald’s menu — or for consumption, for that matter.

The thread titled Employee “Recipes” offered up ideas like using the company’s signature wraps to make quesadillas, melting cheese over french fries and adding bacon to a Big Mac.

But user Artist55 described a burger no human should ever eat. He called it the “Heart Clogger 3000”.

“Angus bun with mayo, ketchup, mustard, 3 cheese slices, 2 Angus patties, bacon, 3 nuggets and a mchicken patty.”

Sad times happen, too, like that time an employee had to throw out the spatula she had become so connected to.

Next time you’re in store, take a moment to chat with staff before getting stuck straight in to your order. Chances are they have a story to tell.