I’m taking a week off from having gender issues. Well, as much as that’s possible. I’m not going to visit reddit or any other FTM sites/resources, I’m not going to correct my wife when she uses my full (very girly) first name, or talk about anything to do with gender for a week. I’m going to do my best to put the whole thing out of my mind, not think about passing, not try to appear more masculine, etc.

In part, I’m doing this because the stress on Ask and our relationship has gotten really bad. In part, I’m doing it to see what happens. Perhaps I’ve been pushing things in a certain direction and if I stop doing so I’ll find I don’t really need anything to change. After all, I remember being happy and confident as a butch lesbian woman, so perhaps if I just stop being so weird about everything I can get that back.

A week’s not a terribly long time, but hopefully I’ll learn something one way or another or at the very least give Ask a break from the all the stress and worry. She’s really the love of my life and I want us to be happy and normal and comfortable with one another again. My gender issues have been getting in the way of that, and it’s time for a break.