Abbey5 Wed 22-Apr-20 23:35:42

Hello, I'd be so grateful for your advice... A few months ago I found my partner (male) of over 10 years, chatting online in a lesbian chat room, pretending to be a lesbian. He was using a photo of a pretty woman in her mid-twenties, and chatted and personal messaged lesbians, transgender women and shemales. I've caught him countless times and each time he promised never to do it again. He always breaks this promise. He insists that he’s doing nothing wrong, that it's nothing sexual - that he's helping people with their problems, and also having a joke and a laugh. He literally could not see that his lying to me IS something bad. He's mostly drunk when he does this, but not always. He says he's had some 'close friendships' in this chat room and insists that they weren't sexual, which I find hard to believe as he likes lesbian porn. I'm sure he's living out his fantasies online, but I'm also wondering how it might progress further. He insists that he loves me and has always found me attractive. Our sex life had been 0 for years, until recently when we tried to make a go of it and I tried to trust him again. But then I found his new persona is a trangender woman. He watches transgender and shemale porn and uses anal dildos on himself. How can I help him if he can’t help himself? I can’t control his actions. I can only control my own. I feel terrible for even mentioning this because of what’s happening in the world right now with the coronavirus. All that he’s done and his refusal to talk about it, or listen to what I have to say is making everything so much worse. I just want to run away, but I can’t.

Thank you for taking the time to read this. I hope you can help x