Criticism is hard to take. Nobody likes hearing that their work is, in anyone’s evaluation, disappointing or even a downright failure. But any writer who means to make it ought to steel themselves for the occasional vicious takedown from readers, critics, friends, neighbors, possibly even your loved ones. Look up just about any consensus historically great work of fiction on Amazon, Goodreads, or your other forum of choice and you’ll find there are people giving that book the notorious “one star” and eviscerating the writer in the comments. Reading these reviews can be, strangely, invigorating. As an offering to aspiring writers, and to all those working authors fending off the hate and putting in the good work, we offer you this post (and others like it to come). The message, in short: Dostoevsky has haters, too.

Crime and Punishment, first published in 1866 in serial installments in The Russian Messenger, is generally recognized as a high water mark of world literature. It’s also a seminal crime novel: a sprawling, ambitious work of existential angst composed of transgressions, detectives, fugitives, and investigations. It’s the kind of book around which there is an agreement of worth. Still, it has dissenters, most famously Nabokov but also many, many people on Amazon.

We’ve gathered up 25 of our favorite critiques of Crime and Punishment here. Many we consider valid; some are funny, some irreverent. A few offer up suggestions for how better to spend your time than reading Dostoevsky’s door-stopper.

Whether you agree or disagree with the critiques, we hope you writers out there will find them heartening.

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(The following quotes are real Amazon one-star reviews, edited for spelling, and excerpted for length.)

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Unlikable Characters Reminiscent of Saturday Night Live

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“I felt like my crime was buying the book and my punishment was reading it. I bailed out mid-way when I could no longer ignore that the characters constantly reminded me of the ‘two wild and crazy guys’ from Saturday Night Live. The idea for the book was good but, at least to me, the characters were idiotic and boring. Given the acclaim and popularity of this book, I’m sure that my opinion is in the minority, if not altogether alone.”

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Objections on Moral Grounds…But Not the Kind You Think

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“Exaggerated Piousness: There is no doubt that Crime and Punishment would have been one of the greatest novels of the century had not Dostoevsky leaned towards the more acceptable sense of morality related to the weak tenets of Chrisitanity. In doing so, he made Rasknolikov a caricature of himself, lethargic and yet redeemable by accepting Christ’s suffering.”

“Another distressing characteristic of this book is that it reflects the depressing attitudes and values of the stereotypical Russian. There is no humor or cheerfulness, no admiration of success or prosperity, and no optimism. And heroes, instead of being winners, are suffering victims of tragedy.”

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Short and to the Point

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“Heard about this book for years… finally drudged my way through it. Russian psychobabble.”

“It. Sucks.”

“Very slow & plodding.”

“I don’t dig Russian literature.”

“This brought to mind the worst “Classic” book I have ever read, namely “Catcher in the Rye” by J.D. Salinger. Save your time, effort and money because this is a waste of all three. I gave it one star because zero was not an option.”

“This book was P to the double O P don’t waste your hard earned money on this piece of total and complete crap.”

“This book is long and every time i put it in my bag and put it on back gave me back problems”

“The most depressive book I ever read.”

“Not sure what all the fuss is about. I could not connect with the characters and I found it very odd.”

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“I never ordered this book. Please make sure I have not been charged for it!! Please let me know as soon as possible.”

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Because Dostoevsky Was a Bad at Writing (Nabokov Agreed)

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“Why I just HATED Crime & Punishment! The plot—a young student murdering an old, unpleasant pawn-broker and having to deal with the psychological aftermath—could have been promising, if not for the story telling, the writing style, the character depiction. In short, if not written by Dostoevsky. He goes into monstrous proportions of expressing everything in the characters’ minds without relating any one thing to another or tying any of it to the overall plot in even a remotely tangible way. He—the author—is nearly as disturbed and as much on the verge of insanity as his protagonist, Rascolnikov, and while it may sound fascinating, it does not bode well for story-telling of any kind.”

“Virtually every other review says that this book is ‘the greatest of all time.’ I’d like to be respectful, but I can’t imagine anyone saying this. Please don’t take offense. This book is very badly written. The author was an incredible genius, but that didn’t make him a good writer. The main problem is that the book loses whatever momentum it gained by the murder with page after page of needless digression. Dostoevsky is a great philosopher, and that shines through here—he anticipated a lot of Nietzsche (though he would have strongly disagreed with him) and existentialism. This book, like his others, has some great philosophical dialogues, but that does not make a great novel (or even a good one). Karl Gauss, Bobby Fisher, Beethoven, Wittgenstein, Thomas Edison, and Hegel were all geniuses. Would you want to read a novel written by one of these guys? Yet any of them would probably have crafted a better piece of coherent fiction than C & P.”

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A Few Alternative Recommendations

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After reading this indulgent garbage I had to bore a hole in my head with my 7v Black and Decker cordless drill. This trefening technique will be of use to you should you make the fool hearty decision to read C n’P.

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“first of all, the names are so similar that it is extremely tedious and difficult for the reader to have to fumble baaaack and fooorth.. page to page.. to recall which character is the doctor and which one is the detective. second of all, the entire book is a coincidence conspiracy. out of nowhere, connections were made, characters reappeared, etc. for example, when raskolnikov is walking around and sees m. [whatever the hell is name was.. proving my first point] get run over by a horse. HMMM. just by chance? third of all, this book is really interesting, but takes forever to read. hey, if you’re someone who has no sex life and nothing better to do.. then go for it. otherwise just watch CSI.”

“This is quite possibly one of the most horrible books I have ever opened. I have tried at least ten different times over the past year to read it and under different conditions, but it is just plain painful to read. The dialogue is choppy and irritating. The actions of the characters are not very believable, and I felt no compassion for any of the people. I personally wished bad things upon each and every one of them — not because of their character, but because how horribly written the book was. I am quitting now after reading only two-thirds of it novel. I wish I could resurrect Lermontov and have him write another book so I could enjoy a proper Russian author. In about one hour, I am going to walk down to the beach and throw this book into the Red Sea. I am in Africa and this is the right thing to do.”

[responding to the previous reviewer:]

“Although I’m sure this book is wonderfully written in many ways, I cannot help but say that I absolutely hated it. I’m certain that persons with more scholarly inclinations will completely disagree with me, but I cannot help but envy another reviewer who has tossed his copy into the Red Sea. Although I cannot pinpoint exactly where this novel and I got off on the wrong foot, I will say that there was too much repetition, and I could not identify with or even like any of the characters. By the time I got to the end, I was thinking that I wished someone had jerked the book out of my hand and slapped me with it before I ever opened it.”

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Dreary, Depressing, Boring, Required

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“Very dreary stuff. A seemingly endless fixation on troubles: drinking, poverty, violence, hopelessness, concern about one’s status in the society. One comes away with no real idea of who these characters are. Only to be read if required for a class.”

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“This is literally one of the worst books I have ever almost read. Never have I ever been so insulted by any book. I would never recommend this book to any one ever in my life. This book made me dread reading it (had to read it for class) and now I am just reading the summary because it is so boring.”

“If this book doesn’t drive you to drink nothing will. I haven’t encountered this many melodramatic people in my entire life. Really, truly, one after another is dropping dead of guilt or shooting himself or going insane, or hating and loathing his friends and family and sweethearts, or, when all is copacetic, just drinking himself stupid. Let me do you a favor and save you a few hours: Man kills 2 women and then proceeds to feel guilty for 600 pages. If I could have killed him myself I would have!”

“Not a great novel by ANY means. VEEEEERY SLOOOOOOW, INCREDIBLY BORING and NEVER really gets going at all (I bet most people will fall asleep after the first chapter or two). Defies logic how this novel gets so highly rated by ANYONE. Quite a bizarre/weird writing style and I really struggled with this one. Don’t waste your time reading this garbage.”

“I find the book boring because the main character is a lazy spoiled wimp. I would only recommend this book as a cure for insomnia. It would put anyone to sleep.”

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Actually a Two-Star Review But Still Solid

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“I liken the experience of reading Crime and Punishment to that of an exhausted man clothed in rags crawling through miles of desert in search of water. This is the only book I recall reading in my adult life that I desperately wanted to end. If you suddenly crave a 19th century Russian classic, and you’re one of those people who has to finish a book even if it doesn’t hold your interest, do not read Crime and Punishment.”