Source: Genesis 19 - God's most cherished man in all of Sodom was called Lot. God liked him so much that he sent two angels to stay with him. However, during the night, a gang of rapists descended on Lot's house to defile the angels! Lot, in all his holy righteousness, declared: "No, my friends. Don’t do this wicked thing. Look, I have two daughters who have never slept with a man. Let me bring them out to you, and you can do what you like with them".

And that, kids, is why God allows rape. It doesn't stop there though. After using their magical powers to blind the rapists, the angels called down air-support from God. Lot and his family were urged to flee the city while God rained burning sulfur on the inhabitants. However, there was one small caveat; God didn't want them to look back at his shameful annihilation of the Sodomites. Of course, women are stupid in the Bible, so: "Lot’s wife looked back, and she became a pillar of salt." Why a pillar of salt? God knows, literally.

Lot and his two daughters retreated to a cave in the mountains without a thought for their dessicated mother. The daughters decided that their father was too old to find another wife, so they did what any loyal daughter would do (right?), they got Lot drunk and had sex with him. Both of the daughters got pregnant by their father and, presumably, they all lived happily ever after in a trailer park in Kansas.