DEATH has been told it is not allowed to take Sir Terry Pratchett until an investigation is held.

Following the passing of the author, the final ferryman has been suspended and will be held to account by an independent body before making any further decisions that are patently wrong.

Deathologist Roy Hobbs said: “Any rational person would agree that only after the publication of another 30 Discworld books, at least two of them starring Rincewind, would it have been correct for Terry to die.

“And for this to happen only two years after the death of Iain M Banks, leaving a number of massive Culture novels unwritten, smacks of incompetence.

“At this point the Grim Reaper looks less like an implacable, unanswerable end and more like a haphazard dick on roller skates swinging his scythe about like a fat kid at a piñata.”