City Weekly is apparently not that well-connected. We tried to get Weezer frontman-mastermind-evil genius Rivers Cuomo on the phone, but he was too busy, presumably picking opening acts for the summer tour, which kicks off here in Salt Lake City at the E Center on Saturday. We were, however, granted an audience with the record label’s designated representative, new bassist Scott Shriner (a.k.a. Other Weezer Guy), who entertained questions with candor and good humor.

City Weekly: First, the question on everyone’s mind: What was Weezer thinkin’ when you took that crème-de-la-crap nü-metal band, Cold, out on tour last year?

Other Weezer Guy: Christ if I know. I think that was a plot of the record company. That’s really what it was, I think. And I think that we like to disorient people as much as possible.

CW: How did you feel about them getting booed off the stage?

OWG: Oh, I don’t think that’s fun for any band. I don’t appreciate that kind of thing. I think you take your chances when you go onstage with anybody and I’ve been in enough bands that have gotten booed.

CW: For example?

OWG: I remember in my old band, Broken, some girl stood in front of me and gave me the finger for 45 minutes straight.

CW: Everyone’s saying that Maladroit (Geffen) is radically different from the last album, but it really just sounds like another Weezer record.

OWG: That’s pretty interesting. There’s always gonna be the common Weezer thread. Rivers has written all the songs. It’s the same songwriter, you know what I mean? And obviously, [producer] Ric Ocasek has his own kinda sound and Maladroit was self-produced and that’s how it turned out.

CW: When are you going make a new album with The Rentals?

OWG: [Laughs] That’s pretty funny. That bassplayer hasn’t been in the band for a long fuckin’ time. That’s a question for their first bassplayer.

CW: Oh, OK. I gotcha. Then … this might be a touchy subject for you, but how are you feeling since the breakdown?

OWG: [Laughs] This is pretty hot! I’m feeling much better now. I’ve got all my panties washed and I’m ready to face a new day today. That’d be bassplayer No. 2.

CW: Well, which one are you?

OWG: I’m No. 3, Scott Shriner.

CW: How long have you been in Weezer?

OWG: Since August. I play bass. I’m the funny-lookin’ guy with the bigger guitar.

CW: Is it cool being in Weezer?

OWG: Oh, no.

CW: How about being a rock star? Is that cool?

OWG: I don’t know anything about that at all.

CW: Since you’re the new guy, has Rivers or anyone done any kind of hazing things to you, like taping your butt cheeks together?

OWG: Once, when I was asleep, yes.

CW: Has he tea-bagged you?

OWG: Oh, hell no! Nobody’s tea-baggin’ me, bro.

CW: How about giving you The Spider?

OWG: I don’t know what that is, so I’m gonna say no to that, too.

CW: Do you want to know what it is?

OWG: Sure.

CW: I got this valuable tidbit from Alien Ant Farm. When you’re all on the bus and one guy is in the bathroom, you turn off all the lights and drop your shorts. Then you make a human bridge between two opposite bunks. When the guy comes out of the bathroom and tries to make his way to the bunk in the dark, he gets a face full of butt.

OWG: [Laughs] Rivers definitely did not do that to me. I have yet to see Rivers’ behind.

CW: But is it a goal?

OWG: It could be for the summer, yeah.

CW: Is anyone going to do any of the above to Chris from Dashboard Confessional when you’re out on tour with them this summer?

OWG: Fuck, yeah!

CW: Can we hold you to that? Can we call you and get a follow-up report?

OWG: Yeah, sure!

CW: Did you pick the opening act this tour?

OWG: No. There are so many bands out this summer and there’s so much goin’ on that the bands we … I don’t even know if I should approach this, but I’d say we … [Laughs] I’ll have to say the record company kinda helps, but Rivers has the final say on who’s on tour with us and who’s not. And he wanted Dashboard. That’s my way outta that one.