By Bill Maher

For my money, the GOP candidate who says the most enraging stuff on a regular basis isn’t Trump but Rubio, the supposedly moderate one of the bunch.

The last example: Rubio been getting teased for wearing these Cuban-heeled zip-up boots on the campaign trail. Why? I don’t know, I guess reporters get bored and they start to notice footwear. At any rate, the teasing must have bugged him, because he had an oh-so-clever answer all ready when a voter asked about the boots at a campaign stop: “They sold out of those boots online!” Rubio said. “They’re made in Wisconsin! Florsheim! You know what that means? I did more for American business in one week than Barack Obama did in seven years!”

Right, you’re $135 pair of boots did more for America than taking the unemployment rate from 10 percent down to a level lower than Ronald Reagan ever achieved. Of course, Rubio would explain that he was exaggerating for the sake of a (lame-ass) joke, but jokes only work if the premise is true. And only in the Conservative Bubble is it a truism that OBAMA DESTROYED THE ECONOMY!

Also: Florsheim shoes aren’t made in Wisconsin, they’re made in India and China. Dumbass just assumed that since the company is based in Wisconsin they have a factory there.

Rubio could buy shoes made in America. There are companies with factories here. It’s just that most of them closed after Ronald Reagan refused to raise import tariffs on the foreign-made shoes that started flooding the US in the 1980s.