"That's not a present... THIS is a present!"

I don't know what the legal export limit of Australian amazingness is Down Under, but surely it has been exceeded.

I have received a veritable cornucopia of Aussie-themed goodies. By my count: 18 packages of candies and snacks, three items of clothing, two DVDs, one CD, three kids' story books, one calendar, one photo book of Adelaide, 2.5 stuffed animals, three Christmas ornaments, one kangaroo car sign, one set of catnip toys and one refrigerator magnet, plus a card and a photo of a happy dog on Santa's lap. I'm stunned! If I knew any Australian slang I'm sure it would come in handy here.

I am particularly excited by the DVDs (PICNIC AT HANGING ROCK, and NOT QUITE HOLLYWOOD, an "Ozploitation" documentary promising gratuitous nudity, senseless violence, car crashes, and kung fu), the Tim Tams (which I've always wanted to try), and the Violet Crumbles (which I've never heard of but I'm very intrigued by). My daughter, on the other hand, is thrilled by the stuffed animals, the pink Australia hat, the storybooks, and especially the chocolate coins, a concept which melted her brain when the foil came off. Christmas definitely came early for both us today.

Amazing job, Santa. You've definitely gone whatever the antipodean equivalent of above and beyond is. Below and beyond? A hearty thank you and Merry Christmas and happy New Year, from my family to yours.