But the guys in this article aren't your run-of-the-mill Mountain Dew swiggers. These guys are SO EXTREME that they just Mad Libbed random dangers together, almost like they were suicidal, but wanted to go out in the most Rube-Goldbergian way possible. That's how we wound up with ...

You have to kind of feel sorry for "extreme sport" practitioners. For one thing, you can't even say the name of their sport without an eye roll and a smirk, and for another, the '90s are over. If you haven't put away the Rollerblades and floppy hair by now, buddy, consider yourself the modern day version of a hippie.

6 MMA ... With Tasers

Have you ever been so pissed off that you wanted to punch a dude with a taser? Of course not. That's not even possible. Well, don't tell Michael Alexander, who decided that mixed martial arts, the current king of the fighting hill, was for pussies. So he upped the ante of a sport that already consists of two guys punching, kicking and grappling the hell out of each other by adding 3-million-volt tasers sewn into their gloves. It's called Shockfighting, and it looks like this:

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If you watch that video without sound, it looks like one of the saddest MMA fights in history. The guys are just lazily jabbing at each other, occasionally throwing a kick when they get too ashamed of themselves. Ah, but then you turn the sound up and start to hear the crackles of electricity every time a hand connects.

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Michael Alexander describes the sport as being the ultimate art of extreme fighting, where you "put true warriors in a ring, against each other with three million volts of electricity charging out. Winner takes all."

We're not sure what the "all" the winner takes is, as the sport is wildly illegal and there's no way guys who are willing to beat each other up with tasers are making huge profits on any road life may take them down, since society has not completely collapsed just yet.