Just when I thought all hope was lost my Rematch Santa comes through big time and gave me the opportunity to keep my feet warm, support my hockey team, and slap people around with a giant purple dildo. It's a Martin Luther King Jr. Weekend miracle! God bless you, Rematch Santa! God bless us, everyone!

And there's another package on the way. Mr. Secret Rematch Santa, you're the best kind of people!

PART 2!!!

Rematch Santa gift part two arrived today. It's just in "time"... Get it? Time? It's a TARDIS, which is a "time" machine! It's funny!

Anyway, thanks again, mysterious rematch Santa! I love it and can't wait to get it framed.