THE LUCKY ONES

We were walking down the street, laughing at jokes that only the two of us in the entire world could get. It was evening, and the combination of the florescent street lights and the surrounding darkness made it seem like our skins were glowing. He had the most adorable laugh. We were high from the fervour of sharing each other’s company. A walk down this street that used to feel like an endless journey where you have to navigate pot-holes and see people, some of which you had to talk to, felt like taking a go in the newest fun ride in the amusement park. Till this day, I’m not sure if we encountered anyone on our stroll because in that moment, he was all that existed and it felt like I was all that existed for him too. No two other souls could cohere more flawlessly. We were definitely two of the lucky ones Lana sang about.

We got to my stop. I was laughing at the very mundane thing he had just said, after which followed a silence that would have been awkward in any other moment, between any other persons. But there was no awkwardness for us. It was a concept that was impractical between us.

And then, in the brief moment between a wink and my eyelids flying back open, he planted a kiss on my lips.

“What the hell was that?” I queried, startled.

“I just needed to do that. I needed something physical to take home from this night,” he replied, smiling unabashedly. And then he caught on to my alarm, and began, “Oh God, are you not… You’re not… I am so sorry…”

“You should learn to control yourself,” I chided gently, before going on to point out that we could be lynched if anyone had seen him kiss me.

I even risked a hasty glance around, my eyes searching the dusk for any eyes, any undesirable attention that might have arrested that moment of affection. I was terrified of getting kitoed right there in front of my home.

But when the alarm passed, I began to feel other things. That kiss had started something in me, like a spark that ignites a piece of paper that goes on to burn the whole house down. I suddenly felt the urge to grasp him by the head and return the kiss. The need frightened me. I should control this flame, I told myself, or else it would ravage me.

I told him to come see me the next day so that we could further explore each other’s minds and hopefully conquer each other’s bodies.

As I began making my way inside after we parted, already impatiently anticipating tomorrow, loud speakers from the sitting room playing one of those generic Afro pop beats violently dragged me back into reality. I had returned here. Here where lonely and depressed were my constant states. Here where who I am and what I want is wrong. I am me again, me who is not bold enough to do anything about my excruciating loneliness.

But there was something different about tonight, about my loneliness. For as I went to sleep, I found myself drifting off to that realm, that magical place where my soul mate was waiting for me. It wasn’t the real world, but it was alright as long as he was in it.

Written by Real