To celebrate The Simpson's 500th episode, somebody went and compiled every Bart chalkboard quote from the show's opening. These are them. Well, these are part of them -- you'll have to hit the jump to see them because including the whole graphic on the front page would've made it like a mile long. "Like my wiener." Absolutely nothing like your wiener.

Hit the jump for the there are some serious gems in there.

Bart Simpson's Chalkboard Quotes [cabletv]

via

Every Bart Simpson Chalkboard Quote Ever [buzzfeed]

Thanks to Jacquelin, who got to be the chalkboard eraser cleaner in middle school for a week and said it was the best week of her life.