RALEIGH, NC — After building the anticipation for weeks, freshman Gerald “Geezy” Jones finally made his debut on the cypher scene at NC State University by introducing the audience to what he has called the “dankest rap ever.”

Flanked by three of his mechanical engineering intent friends, Jones arrived outside of the Free Expression tunnel around 11:45 PM, according to the eyewitness source Balthazus “Buster” Rimes. Rimes said, “There is a strong possibility that Geezy had some ‘inspiration’ prior to the cyphe’, if you know what I’m saying.”

“I’ve been planning my entrance into the cypher world since I heard about it at orientation over the summer,” Jones reported to members of the campus community.

“I borrowed some clothes from the stoners on my floor and even bought a drug rug at that hippie store next to Bruegger’s.”

Jones, a second semester junior by credit with mechanical engineering intent, found that cypher had only just started, but immediately started moving his gangly body to the beat in attempts to get “inside of the zone.”

For forty-five minutes, Jones sat by that guy playing a plastic bucket flipped upside down, repeating to his friends that he was going to drop his sick rhymes next.

“I just wanted to let everyone warm up the crowd for me,” Jones explained to on-site reporters while he awkwardly cowered away from the center of the rap circle.

Finally, Jones made his move, and what happened next blew everyone’s minds. Afterwards, Jones’ friend Cynthia Moore reported back to The Artifex about what happened.

“It was incredible. You really had to be there,” she claimed.

“He stumbled on half of the lines, but the guys playing the beats only had to stop and restart three times to keep up with my boy Gerald. Overall, it was dope.”

Jones, too, was left breathless.

“It was incredible, man. I mean, I went out there and did my thing, so I just want to thank everyone who helped me get here. Mom, Jesus, hottie from Chem: you guys rock.”

When asked about the untimely entrance of the train, Jones seemed to be a little flustered.

“But fuck the train, you know? Hopefully I’ll be able to go a little longer than ten seconds next time.”

Jones, having finished, retired to Talley for some Howling Cow with his friends after chatting with the regular cypher police officer.