On the occasion of its 69th Independence Day, the government today announced an ambitious program focusing on potty training for a majority of its citizens. Recent studies conducted by the Government of India have revealed that while the Swachh Bharat Abhiyan (Clean India Campaign) has led to the construction of over 3 million toilets across the country, actual toilet usage has not increased proportionately, and that in fact these toilets are not being used.

In the course of this program, at least 8 million people will be potty trained by the end of this year, while the program will ambitiously aim to have the entire country potty trained by year 2018.

“We have now realized that simply making toilets available is not enough to solve the problem of open defecation in the country. Since toilets are a new feature being introduced into many people’s homes, we need to ensure that they get appropriate toilet training as part of this program,” explained a government spokesperson.

Some activists working in the campaign have however criticized this move as insufficient. Explaining his stance to reporters, Bill Gates, whose Gates Foundation is looking to reinvent the toilet for India, explained that the Swachh Bharat Abhiyan needs some fundamental change in order to succeed.

“As the first step, we need to look at the design of the toilets themselves. At the very least, toilets should henceforth be made of brightly colored plastic–the classic design used by most parents potty training their toddlers. But the real solution should focus on redesigning the toilet from scratch to suit local conditions. We can have toilets with no walls or ceiling to simulate the outdoor defecation experience, or we can even have Windows-powered toilets with customizable wallpapers that show images of railway tracks, greenery, views of highways, and the like,” explained Mr. Gates.

The Abhiyan has also challenged celebrities such as Sachin Tendulkar, Priyanka Chopra, and Baba Ramdev to help in this initiative by going to various places and offering potty training to people. Welcoming the new initiative, Priyanka Chopra told her followers on Twitter that Potty training is needed not just in rural parts of the country, but also in urban areas. “I’d be proud to help out the women of the country!!” she added.

Many eminent citizens and activists however are skeptical about this campaign, and are insisting that we should not forget the bigger picture. Author and activist Shobhaa De, for example, has criticized the move, saying open defecation is something politicians have practised for decades in this country. “With their endless corruption, short-sighted vote bank focused politics, and utter disregard for the welfare of the people, political parties in the country have been openly s**ting all over the dreams and aspirations of the people of India, especially those desperately in need of affirmative help and inclusive policies, she pointed out. “When politicians themselves follow such open defecation, they can hardly expect the rest of the country to be any different.”

However, in a press conference, Mr. Singh, spokesperson for the Ministry of Drinking Water and Sanitation dismissed the idea that there was any connection between corrupt governance and the severe sanitation crisis in India. “Let’s be clear about this: there is no metaphor at work here; this is purely a sanitation problem, and not a problem of morals or ethics,” he asserted.

Meantime, this reporter has learned from reliable sources that the government had originally planned to rope in school teachers across the country to impart potty training, but since a large number of schools around the country still lack basic sanitation facilities, this idea had to be abandoned.