my mom left my father before i could walk or speak because he was an abusive alcoholic who refused to seek treatment. i never met him.



last fall, i typed his name into google as i'd done hundreds of times before, but this time there he was.

it wasn't what i'd hoped. i found him on a facebook page dedicated to reposting mugshots from west virginia jails.



so i paid one of those shitty sites that does public records searches. through it, i found aunts and uncles and cousins and a living grandmother.

i found my cousin michael on facebook, who put me in touch with aunt linda––my father's sister.



she was so happy to hear from me. she sent family photos and stories about my long-deceased grandfather: a baptist minister who lost both hands in a coal mining accident.