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"Greg Pikitis" Season Episode Overall 2 07 13 Episode information Aired on October 29, 2009 Written by Michael Schur Directed by Dean Holland Episode navigation Previous Current Next "Kaboom" "Greg Pikitis" "Ron and Tammy"

“ Greg Pikitis is a little punk. And I kind of want to TP his house. — Leslie Knope

"Greg Pikitis" is the seventh episode of season 2 of the NBC television series Parks and Recreation. It originally aired on October 29, 2009 to 4.96 million viewers.

The episode was written by series co-founder Michael Schur and directed by Dean Holland, an editor on the series. "Greg Pikitis" featured a guest performance by stand-up comedian Louis C.K. as Dave Sanderson, Leslie's police officer boyfriend. It also featured Cody Klop as Greg Pikitis, a teenager that Leslie suspects of vandalism.

According to Nielsen Ratings, "Greg Pikitis" was seen by 4.96 million households, only a slight drop from the previous week despite direct competition from the 2009 World Series. The episode received generally positive reviews.

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Storyline Edit

Leslie visits the Pawnee high school to confront Greg Pikitis, a teenager who she describes as her "arch-nemesis". Leslie warns Greg she knows he vandalizes the town's statue of Mayor Percy every Halloween, but that she will be watching him closely and will catch him this year. Greg casually denies having any such plans. At the Pawnee town hall, Ann talks excitedly about her upcoming Halloween party. She asks the others not to mention it to Tom, but she is disappointed to learn Jerry has already told him. That night, Leslie watches Greg with the help of her boyfriend, Pawnee police officer Dave Sanderson, while Andy, who now has a part-time job with the parks department, guards the statue.

Ann's party is off to a boring start and she soon starts to fear it will be a failure altogether. When Tom and his wife Wendy Haverford arrive, however, Tom spices up the party by turning the living room into a dance floor. The party is soon a big hit, and Ann thanks Tom profusely. Wendy tells Ron she knows Ron learned her marriage to Tom was a "green card marriage" to keep her from being deported to Canada, and thanks him for his discretion. She tells him they will soon be able to divorce without raising any suspicions, unaware that Tom is visibly upset about it.

After watching Greg for hours, Leslie and Dave decide to go to Ann's party. They stop at the parks department to get Leslie's costume, only to find the office has been toilet papered and vandalized. Leslie immediately suspects Greg, even though they had been watching him all night. Dave reluctantly agrees to bring Greg in for questioning, but he insists he is innocent. Andy comes in and questions Greg, pretending to be an FBI agent named Burt Macklin, but Greg is so mean to him Andy soon starts crying. Greg's mother eventually arrives and takes him away after threatening to report the trio for holding her son without proof of his guilt.

Later, Andy helps Leslie clean the parks office and, after a few beers, they decide to toilet paper Greg's house. Dave arrives in his police car and tells them he had been called to stop them. When an unfamiliar woman comes out of the house, Leslie thinks she has toilet papered the wrong house. However, the woman reveals she is Greg's actual mother, and that Greg hired a "fake mother" off of Craigslist to get him out of trouble. When she realizes Greg is not home, Leslie believes he is vandalizing the mayor statue. They go to the statue and catch Greg in the process; although Leslie wishes to have him "locked up," Dave points out he is still a minor and may only have some time in juvenile hall. Later, Leslie wonders how Greg managed to trash the parks department. The episode ends with a flashback showing Greg sneaking into the department disguised as a janitor, hiding in a dumpster until everybody leaves, then vandalizing the office.

Quotes Edit

Leslie: [on Greg Pikitis] Ugh, this kid makes me crazy. We have a history - Greg and I. He absolutely terrorizes the Parks system. Every Halloween, somebody defaces the statue of Mayor Percy in Ramsett Park! And I know it's Greg Pikitis... but I've never been able to prove it! He's like an invisible, adolescent, James Bond supervillain, criminal mastermind! [beat] ...Or maybe someone else is doing it. But I really feel like it's this kid!

Ann: Halloween is my favorite holiday. It's just the best. And I don't have to work! Hey slutty teenage girls dressed as sexy kittens... pump your own stomachs this year!

Leslie: William Percy. One of Pawnee's greatest mayors, and a true hero. During the Pawnee bread factory fire of 1922, he ran back into a burning building and saved the beloved secret recipe for Pawnee pumpernickel.

Dave: Didn't, like, 30 people die in that fire?

Leslie: He wasn't Superman.

Andy: [to the camera as he guards Mayor Percy's statue] Now, I have a part-time job. I'm gonna make 32 bucks tonight. I owe Leslie everything I have... which after tonight will be 39 bucks.

Leslie: [watching Greg Pikitis from afar] 8:22 pm. Suspect still with friends in parking lot. He looks obnoxious and irritating even from a great distance.

[Leslie and Dave arrive inside the Parks Department and find it covered with toilet paper and graffiti; on the floor says "HAPPY HALLOWEEN SUCKAZ"]

Leslie: PIKITIS!!!!!

Greg Pikitis: [to Dave] You know, I like Knope. I screw with her because she gets all riled up, and her face gets all scrunched up like this. [makes a funny pouty face; Dave chuckles] But I like her. She's all right. [he looks at Leslie and she's making the same funny pouty face; he chuckles] You see?

Leslie: [to Dave] We need a confession. [reaches in her desk and pulls out some pliers] Okay, Andy and I are going to take a walk. And it's gonna be just you, Pikitis, and these pliers.

Dave: Look, I'm not gonna torture this kid.

Leslie: Nobody said torture. [quickly glances at the camera, implying that's what she wanted]

Andy: Why don't you let me take a run at him, boss? In order to think like one of these guys, you have to think like them.

Leslie: [as Andy interrogates Greg Pikitis] It looks like Andy is wearing him down. I'm gonna go finish him off. [walks into the room]

Greg Pikitis: [laughing] That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard!

Andy: Would you just shut up for a second??

Leslie: What's going on in here?

Andy: [to Leslie] He's a-He's a jerk! He's being such a jerk! [to Greg Pikitis, tearing up] That's an awful thing to say to a human being!

Greg Pikitis: [taunting] Are you crying?

Andy: I AM NOT CRYING, OKAY??! I'M ALLERGIC TO JERKS!!

Dave: No. Nope. I don't think she would make a good cop. I-I would be frightened to live in a town that she's a cop of, frankly.

[Leslie and Andy are drinking beers after cleaning up the Parks Department that Greg Pikitis trashed]

Leslie: Huh, maybe Greg is innocent. If that's the case, then there's another kid out there tormenting me.

Andy: Maybe.

Leslie: I believe that you are innocent until proven guilty in this country. That's the cornerstone of democracy.

Andy: Sure.

Leslie: ...On the other hand, Greg Pikitis is a little punk. And I kinda wanna TP his house.

Andy: Let's do it!

Leslie: [TPing Greg Pikitis' house] This is for Mayor Percy, this is for the Parks Department office, this is for pooping on the handball courts!

Leslie: [excitingly] Yeah! This is really fun, but I don't condone it! [grabs a bundle of toilet paper and scatters it happily]

Leslie: [to Greg Pikitis having caught him vandalizing Mayor Percy's statue] Hey, you're going to jail for a very long time.

Dave: He's not going to go to jail, you know. He's a minor.

Leslie: [to Dave] Well, we'll let the jury decide.

Dave: There's not gonna be a jury. It's a....

Leslie: Then the judge will decide where he goes.

Dave: Look, he's going to do probation. He's a minor.

Leslie: Dave, just let me have this?

Leslie: The thing that is driving me nuts is how did he do it? [cut to Halloween Day 3:45 pm] I mean, we were here all afternoon. How did he get in? [Greg Pikitis, dressed as a janitor with a hat and mustache, takes the keys to the office from Leslie's purse and jumps in a dumpster to hide] First of all, we always lock the doors when we leave. [Jerry locks the doors at 5:02 pm] And Dave and I tailed Pikitis the moment he left his house at 7:00 pm to the moment we came back here. [Greg Pikitis hops out of the dumpster with a duffel bag and goes to work] Does he have a look-alike or something? Did he have an accomplice? I mean, did he have help?? How did that little turd do it? [once finished, Greg Pikitis leaves the office and takes off his mustache; he notices the camera and smirks before running off]

Cast Edit

Guest Stars Edit