10 th Aug 2015 10191

PLEASE READ IM BEGGING YOU

(I KNOW THIS IS LONG, BUT IT WILL ONLY TAKE TWO MINUTES OUT OF YOUR DAY. PLEASE READ. AT LEAST THE BOLDED PARTS).

In mid fall, 2014, during my first semester of freshmen year, I was sexually assaulted on Kennesaw State University Campus. Many of you know this campus as that video posted a few months back about the administrator abusing a student? The same thing happened to me.

I took my assaulter to the Kennesaw State University campus police, I attempted charging him through the administrative process twice, and yet he will still walk the campus with the exception of a two page double spaced paper due at the end of the semester. And I will see him in six days. Please, let me tell you my story.

I couldn’t breathe when it first happened to me. I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t function properly. Even though majority of my friends at the campus knew about the event a few weeks later, they all believed he was a “good guy that made a bad decision”. My best friend who goes to a different university convinced me, even though I was still hesitant in calling him a sexual assaulter, to go to the KSU police and report him. For weeks I didn’t do it, but finally in mid second semester I did.

After I admitted to having repeated nightmares, enduring emotional breakdowns, and it interfering with my daily life, the police reluctantly agreed to investigate the situation and converse with my predator. While it has a smaller campus versus most universities in Georgia, it took weeks for them to give my case a second consideration and reply. Of course, they didn’t send me any updates on whether or not they spoke to my predator or any other information until they concluded their investigation. Weeks later, I recieved a phone call saying he had ADMITTED to the accusation, but they were not in favor of charging him due to the fact they lacked physical proof (even though, I thought a given confession was proof?), and discouraged me from taking him to court because they didn’t have any “security cameras” outside. Instead, they told me he apologized and because his WORDS were sincere, they pushed me to go to the department THAT DAY and sign a form that stated I wouldn’t ever bring up the incident again. Because, in KSU’s eyes, a verbal apology turns a predator into a victim. I did not like the idea that his words meant more than mine, and that a predator’s grief was more important than the victim’s trauma, so I refused to sign the form and went to the administration and asked for a panel with shaking hands.

Because apparently my assaulter “was uncomfortable” with a panel, they decided to break Title XI (the administration conduct) and not give me a panel. Instead, since he fully admitted to sexually assaulting me both times they interviewed him, they decided to let one woman make the verdict. She took about three months and rarely replied to my emails. In the middle of summer, I got a CALL (Not an assigned visit, since apparently sexual assault isn’t that important) that, due to his actions, he would be on probation (which, if he did anything again, would lead to only a one year suspension) and would have to watch an hour-long video on sexual assault prevention. That was it.

For the second time, I couldn’t breathe. I thought about going public, but I feared they would kick me out or I would be seen as a target by administration, so I decided to politely ask for a panel again as an APPEAL. They couldn’t say no. So they prepared us for the panel and told me, which is why I agreed to do the panel in the first place, that they would interview us fairly in different rooms. I have huge anxieties with talking to people, but I believed I could do this since we were in separate rooms. It took them two months to get it together, and they seemed snappy and annoyed whenever I emailed them. There was a time when we made could both make a statement under email to give the board members an introductory of ourselves and the situation. Me? I told them thank you for giving me an opportunity to speak to them. My assaulter? He preceded to tell them how I was controlling and psychotic and that yes, he was guilty of the actions, but my personality traits were enough to pardon him. He told them that sexually assaulting me was okay because of personality traits. He didn’t even try apologizing. Instead, he acted like a victim.

Three days prior I got an email given the ideal script, and it said something along the lines of my assaulter and I being interviewed in the same room. Immediately, I sent them an email saying how I appreciated them doing this, but I had too many issues seeing him. I could have an anxiety attack and cause myself to hyperventilate or black out. Surely, they must care about me enough to put us in different rooms? But the Director of Student Conduct & Integrity snapped at me and told me that the board members didn’t have time for this already and this is how they were going to do it, no exceptions. I tried not to take it personally, but deep inside me I had a feeling that they hated me more for speaking out then they cared about him being a sexual assaulter.

When I walked in, only the secretary greeted me. The person who originally did the interview between me and my assaulter brushed past me coldly when I tried to say hi, and the director who spoke to me over the email shot me an irritated vibe, because apparently having to do the work you’re paid to do is unethical? Either way, I walked in there with a straight face and without trying to look too hard at the mere posterboard standing between my assaulter and I, I chose to spoke.

When my assaulter spoke, and repeated just about the same words given on the statement sheet, nobody seemed struck. He ended quickly, and the reactions given to me was unheard of when I spoke. Nobody looked at me when I began to speak. One board member was looking at the ceiling, the other was glaring up into space, and the third was paying attention to her nails. While my assaulter’s speech was only a few minutes, mine grew longer and the more I spoke the more annoyed and bored the members looked – one even glared at me and rested her face in her hand and looked at me like I was slowly ruining her day.

It only took five minutes for them to decide his punishment. I was insulted – I went through months of torture for this and they decide on it in five minutes? I walk in, sit down, and they tell me that they believe he is guilty of sexual assault. Sex assault, which can land you years in jail, probation, and can (and should) put stuff on your permanent record. But when they say this, I feel like they’re getting mad at me. They say this in a tone that said they had wasted their day dealing with another student’s trauma, and how horrible that traumatized student ruined their day. They then tell me that his punishment has been lengthened.

He now has to write a double spaced essay, two pages, explaining why what he did was sexual assault.

Later that day I called someone, asking for the audiotape, but the moment I said my name the Director of Student Conduct & Integrity hung up on me. On purpose. I tried calling again and she never picked up.

Kennesaw State University abused me. They didn’t care about my side even though he admitted to the crime. They didn’t show him what he did was wrong. They didn’t give the attention I deserved. Instead, they barely contacted me, pushed me into trying to sign a paper that demanded my silence because my predator said he was sorry, ignored my calls for justice and instead gave him a slap on the wrist, and is making him watch an hour long video on sexual assault. He committed a crime. I tried charging my sexual assaulter three times, THREE TIMES, and all they showed me is that they don’t care. They don’t care if sexual assaulters walk their campus.

I have to go back in six days and watch him walk that campus. I don’t think I can do it. Knowing that rape culture is more relevant to Kennesaw State University than feminism, makes me sick.

Please reblog. Create awareness. People deserve to know what Kennesaw State University did.

(I know theres people on here from KSU/my old school, but please don’t put my name incase KSU sues me for this. They know who I am, don’t worry).

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