On the 8th day there was….the Draft

It’s here. The glorious day that is the NFL draft is finally here. When we go to sleep tonight there will only be questions about the next day’s picks. The big one that everyone has focused on obsessively will be behind us. In the end the specific player the team takes is less important than that it’s a good player. Last year the twenty first pick occurred at 10:32 PM EST, and I scored the 10:30 slot on the live podcast. So get ready for this year’s draft to be much faster and hear my comments on the picks of Miami, New York and Oakland. Merry draftmas my friends. A week from now we’re going to be staring down the barrel of a shotgun loaded with months of nothing football related happening that matters. On the Eighth day of Draftmas you get my predictions for the Lions eight draft picks.

Eight Lions Picks

1: David Njoku: TE, Miami

2: Obi Melifonwu: S, Connecticut

3: Tarell Basham: DE, Ohio

4: Jayon Brown: LB, UCLA

5: Brian Allen: CB, Utah

6a: Tedrick Thompson: S, Colorado

6b: Jamal Agnew: CB, San Diego

7: Tion Green: RB, Cincinnatti

Seven Mad Draftmas Predictions

Case will get uncomfortably gushy about Zig Zag during the live show.

Bryce will mention Joe Mixon at least three times during the live show.

I will take a shot every time Brandon mentions how badly he wants a linebacker in the first round during the live show.

I will be more intoxicated than I want to be during the live show but it will not hit me until half way through my segment. make sure you’re tuned in at 10:45 EST.

The Lions will trade out of the first round entirely leaving us with literally nothing Lions related to talk about for the remainder of the live show.

I will leave Chris hanging with a three word noncommittal answer when on the live show he throws to me for a much needed bathroom break because I am not paying attention closely enough. [editor’s note: This is probably the least mad of these predictions]

In regards to the Lions the remaining ESPN staff will still be talking about Calvin Johnson’s retirement.

Six Draftmas Subplots

Sidney Jones is a top ten talent with a serious injury that has historically been one of the few possible career enders.

Jake Butt’s ACL has hurt his draft stock in a deep class, but will he last beyond day two?

Garrett Bolles colored past and age make him a dangerous pick. The Danny Watkins comparisons are BS. but when will he go?

Malik McDowell is being treated like he killed someone. He called out coaches that are driving Michigan State in to the dirt. How far will this top ten talent fall?

How many corners go in the first three rounds? If it is fewer than 20 teams will be snapping up bargains in on day three.

James Conner has a really uplifting story. He is going to be really dependent on the situation to get a chance to show what he can do on the field. He is not for everyone.

Five Late Round Draftmas Gems

Corn Elder

Elder is a converted running back who has taken that physicality to his new position at cornerback. He’s not big, or fast. He is just a good football player. He isn’t a big play machine, but he gets his hands on balls in the passing game. Elder is good in every type of coverage, but not spectacular in any. He also tackles pretty well. He is limited to a slot role by his size.

Marquez White

White’s speed is the main factor that will drop him to day three. He does a great job in zone coverage of keeping his eyes on his assignment and the quarterbacks eyes. He’s a skinny looking 194 lbs. He does tend to bite on fakes, but allowed a 32.1% completion percentage in 2015, and just one touchdown over the last two years.

Brian Allen

Allen is a 6’3″ and 215 lb corner with 34″ arms. He is physical in press coverage, and uses his length to great effect on contested throws. Despite his size, he is not a great tackler. He is a project corner who is mainly an athletic phenomenon due to inexperience. A year playing special teams and getting coached up will do him wonders.

Josh Harvey-Clemmons

Two failed drug tests in college got him kicked out of Georgia’s program. He transferred to Louisville, and excelled. It’s after 2:00 AM as I write this. Trust me, he’s a good safety with some character issues, but his toughness matches his athleticism. There is a player here.

John Johnson

He’s a versatile safety with corner experience. He has the quickness to play in the slot, and the size to hold up as a strong safety. He is not fast, but but uses his agility to make his way through blocks.

Four Mock Drafts

The Drafttek.com consensus mock draft gave the Lions Taco Charlton. Robert Davis of footballsfuture.com gave the Lions Corey Davis. Brandon Knapp of detroitlionspodcast.com gave the Lions Taco Charlton. Chris Sims of Bleacher report gave the Lions David Njoku. The final tally is here!

David Njoku 6 Taco Charlton 5 T.J. Watt 4 Jarrad Davis 2 Reuben Foster, Haason Reddick, Corey Davis, and Jordan Willis also received one selection

Last season a similar aggregation chose Taylor Decker, with A’Shawn Robinson as the second ranked option. Write it up, Taco is falling to pick 53.

Three Draftmas Snack Foods

Liquor from a glass with some ice is my preferred method of consumption. If you’re putting ice in it, you don’t need to spend baller money on a bottle. In fact you’ll look like a tool to the liquor snobs if you’re dropping ice cubes in a good bottle of scotch. So if you want to look like a 50s-odd man but lack the budget, here are a couple more affordable options that don’t taste like burning tires and fermented skunk juice.

My favorite cheap sipping rum is Zaya Gran Reserva. It’s a Guatemalan rum, which means…… it will get you drunk, let’s not get pretentious. You won’t have to hunt for it,I have bought it at Costco. Two ounces and a glass of ice, occasionally I squeeze a lime wedge in to it. It also mixes really well with Coffee.

The bourbon I treat nearly the same way. If you’re feeling like drinking American, it’s Bulleit. It is not an incredibly expensive bottle, and once you take the edge off of it with an ice cube or a splash of water it’s a nice sipping bourbon. It’s got more of an edge to it than the rum, so if you’re doing both this Draftmas you’ll want to do this second.

Here are my favorite sipping vodkas and gins: what the fuck is wrong with you, those are for mixing. Even flavored vodkas and gins are mixing liquids. which is great if that is what you’re going for. In any case, if you drink, don’t drive.

Two First Round Draftmas Busts

Jabrill Peppers is a great athlete, who took advantage of the gifts he had to affect games at the college level, where the best athlete wins. That is not how the NFL works, and Peppers is going to have an adjustment period nailing down a position. Taking a year to learn your job is not what teams are looking for from first round picks.

Haason Reddick is the easiest prospect to pick on in the first round. Show me a first round pick that has made the transition Reddick is being asked to make. I’ll wait. Being athletic doesn’t make this a lock and he is going to go high enough that being an average starter will not be good enough.

And an Inconvenient Draftmas Truth in a Tree!

Ameer Abdullah can’t be relied upon if the Lions want to take the next step as a franchise. In his two seasons he has been benched for fumbling too much, and injured badly enough to miss 15 weeks of game time. Foot injuries end skill position players. If the Lions select a running back early, you’ll know just how bad Abdullah’s injury really was.

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