A rose by any other name would smell as sweet, but a baby that isn't named by Groupon smells like missed opportunity. Spray your infant with the perfume of success with this Groupon.

$1,000 for Groupon to Name Your Baby ($1,000 Value)

All too often, the importance of a child's name takes a backseat to other "needs" such as food, shelter, and clothing. Groupon, the World's Foremost Authority in Baby Naming™, has stepped up to address this issue. Upon your child's birth, Groupon will relieve you of the burden of naming your baby by bestowing a specially selected, custom first name upon your infant son or daughter. Purchasers will e-mail Groupon with their voucher number, and we will e-mail you back with a name for your child based on the name's aesthetic value and for how it might look emblazoned on a trophy one day—for a child named by Groupon will grow tall and proud, and he or she will be a beacon of hope in a world that is in such desperate need of one. Don't settle for non-Groupon-approved names such as Kevin or Bridget—let us gift your sweet child with a moniker for the ages.

Groupon

Groupon has been naming things since 2008, when it named itself by combining the words “grout” and “superweapon.” Its previous baby-related ventures include Grouspawn and its sponsorship of the all-infant rugby league, Tot Scrum.