Should we travel to anti-LGBT destinations?

For many, there is a perception that countries are divided along a black and white binary into the categories of “LGBT welcoming” and “death for the gays” when in reality the issues are much more complex.

Travel boycotts are complicated at best. Do we choose to boycott an entire country for one region’s anti-LGBT stance? So – should all US travel be boycotted because of the laws that are passed in North Carolina, Kentucky, and Mississippi? Or should it just be boycotted in those states? Or just the regions within the state that voted in favor of the law? Louisville is incredibly LGBT friendly, but they’re still impacted by the California ban, corporate boycotts, and tourism boycotts from individuals. How and where do we draw the line?

There are LGBT people everywhere in the world. Every country, state, and city has members of the LGBT community. When bans and boycotts are put forth, LGBT people in these areas suffer. They suffer from the lack of travelers but also from the increased media attention and scrutiny on their local communities. Plus increased publicity often brings new and at times, more extreme policy proposals.

As an LGBT travel writer, I’m constantly asked, “are there places we shouldn’t visit?” If traveling and living abroad during the era of Trump has taught me anything, it’s that people are not their governments. The only things I have in common with Trump and Pence are my skin color and my citizenship. Lumping citizens together with the decisions of their governments is often very short-sighted. The perfect example of this is the piece written by my friend and award-winning LGBT travel writer Jurriaan Teuling on exploring the gay scene via social media and Grindr in Iran.

Nearly half of the world’s cultures and wonders – or to be exact, 42.3% – are in areas with anti-LGBT laws. More if we’re including places that don’t have anti-LGBT laws but do have anti-LGBT social sentiments. Just because a place has no explicit laws on the books, doesn’t mean it’s safe or accepting of LGBT people.

I’ve had many straight people comment on my writing with sentiments similar to – “oh well- just don’t have sex while you’re traveling and you’re fine.” Sex is a part of LGBT identity, but it’s a much smaller detail than most straight people realize. Many LGBT people are gender nonconforming in their style of dress, hair, and clothing as well as their mannerism, the way we speak, and our interests. Most of my friends are LGBTQ folks who are gender non-conforming to some degree. My wife, Lindsay is a 6 ft tall androgynous woman with short hair. For many people, including Lindsay, these qualities are not something they can just “turn off” or cover up.

For LGBT people something as simple as going to the bathroom in public can be difficult. Lindsay and I plan our lives according to her bathroom breaks. There are times and places where she just doesn’t feel safe enough to use either restroom.

For our upcoming trip to Egypt, Lindsay and I have spent at least 40 hours dedicated to what we will wear. Not out of vanity or for the purposes of Instagram, but because she’s concerned she will not pass as straight in an anti-LGBT country where the punishment is imprisonment. And I’m concerned with the levels of street harassment we’ve heard discussed in women’s travel forums. We’ve spent that time trying to find a balance between clothing that is respectful of the cultural norms and where we feel comfortable in our gender presentation.

Choosing where to travel is a personal choice. I’ve traveled regularly for the last five years and I’ve only made it to around 40 of the world’s 195 countries. Travel is a personal choice. I spend a lot of my time in places where being gay is either outright illegal or frowned upon. I willingly moved to Mexico with my wife, a country without federal marriage equality, after spending ten years fighting for LGBT equality in my home country. I made this choice because I weighed the pros and cons of life in Mexico for me and my family and decided this is best for us.

That being said, visiting anti-LGBT countries may not be the best choice for you and yours. I believe it is our responsibility as travelers to educate ourselves on the policies, culture, and customs of the places we’re visiting. Not just in regards to LGBT issues but also in regards to other issues surrounding human rights. There is no perfect utopian country. Until 2010 the United States banned HIV+ travelers from entering the country which disproportionately impacts the LGBT community. The United States also has one of the highest rates of anti-trans hate crimes. Just last week the US voted against a UN resolution that would ban the death penalty as a consequence for gay sex. But in 1994, the United States became one of the first nation-states officially to recognize persecution of sexual orientation or gender identity as potential grounds for granting people asylum.

I use my own country as an example to illustrate how difficult it is to really nail down a decision. Travel widens your viewpoints and that includes traveling to places that you may assume are anti-LGBT. Some of the most beautiful and culturally rich places in the world have anti-LGBT policies. I don’t have a definitive line that I draw in the sand with places I’d visit on one side and places I wouldn’t on the other side.

There are some destinations on my short list of places I’d love to visit in the near future like Indonesia and Morocco. And there are others I’m just not as interested in like UAE and Nigeria. That doesn’t mean my feelings won’t change at some point in the future. I can only travel to so many places in the next year or two and my priorities are with countries that currently spark my interest.

I’d be lying if I said the culture of homophobia in some countries like in Uganda didn’t play a role in my reasoning – it does – but the level of homophobia is really where the difference is here. In some places, the culture goes way beyond your drunk, Trump-supporting, uncle yelling, “what a fag” at the TV and into a place of homophobia that borders on cultural genocide.

I’m a professional traveler. My trips are not generally the once in a lifetime vacations that most LGBT folks would be experiencing while they’re on holiday. Frankly, I’ve heard the argument made from several LGBT people that their vacation is the one time every few years that they’re able to let loose and completely indulge themselves. Some people feel that a vacation they’ve spent years saving for is not the time to make political declarations, challenge morality, or put yourself in a position where you’re fearing for your personal safety.

Where do you draw the line? Is marriage equality the answer, you’ll only travel to the 24 countries with marriage equality? Or transgender inclusion in the nondiscrimination act? Or maybe it’s drawing the line at the death penalty? Regardless where you draw the line – that’s your personal choice as a member of one or more marginalized communities.