Apartment lacking a certain je ne sais quoi? That tired Ikea sofa and hand-me-down throw rug could perhaps use a bit of jazzing up. Thankfully, an unexpected cottage industry has emerged via the good ol’ internet: Guy Fieri-themed home decor. Yes, from shower curtains and bath mats to duvet covers and throw pillows, there’s an almost unbelievable amount of Fieri paraphernalia currently on the market with which to adorn one’s homestead. Here’s the best of the... best?

With this shower curtain, the King of Flavortown himself can keep a watchful eye on each and every household member’s bathtime fun. (Does Guy prefer bar soap or shower gel?):

Want to have sweet dreams (or, more likely, recurring nightmares) about being trapped in Flavortown, forced to subside on a diet of Donkey Sauce-slathered flip flops for eternity? This luxurious microfiber duvet cover should do the trick:

This slightly demonic Guy Fieri rug, replete with signature flame shirt, Doritos Locos tacos, and pepperoni pizza, sure would tie the room together. It comes in three sizes, but clearly the Fieri superfan will spring for the largest 4x6 model:

For those who want to shout out their Fieri fandom to the whole damn neighborhood, why not invest in these sumptuous Flavortown curtains? Bedecked with floating Guy heads, burgers, and plates of spaghetti and meatballs, they’ll take any living room outta bounds:

For the Fieri fan with slightly more sophisticated taste in decor, this Guy-as-Mona-Lisa bath mat will add an artsy touch to any lavatory:

When a slightly more subtle touch of Guy is called for, this tasteful throw pillow is sure to jazz up any sofa. Be sure to get two, so the kids don’t fight over who gets to cuddle with them during the next Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives marathon:

Speaking of Triple D, this extremely classy wall clock will help count down the hours until the next episode. (Or Guy’s Grocery Games, because presumably somewhere out there, someone actually watches that.):

And there you have it, an entirely Fieri-fied abode.

... Though on second thought, these are all maybe horrifying. Don’t do this to your home.