Spooky, scary Skeletons, and shivers down my spine. Ho, ho, what's this? A box had found its way into my chambers, appearing amidst the red glow of simulated LED firelight. It sat there, mocking me to dare to consider opening it.

Heart pounding, I reached for the wrapping, but the wrapping reached for me as a disembodied hand tore through the wrapping paper - my hand!

Calming myself, and remembering that it was my hand (and still firmly attached), I removed the box from its papery cocoon. The box smiled at me wickedly, proclaiming that I should be happy right now. Happy Halloween! it said.

Taking no chances, I immediately hit the box with a hammer to kill the evil spirits inside - at which point I remembered that ghosts were incorporeal by nature, and my non-silver hammer would have no impact on other types of undead.

Fear welling, I delved further, pulling apart the folded sides... to be greeting by spiders, skittering, scattering spiders! Still leaning over the box, they attacked my face, crawling over my skin and into my open mouth!

As it turns out, spiders are actually quite nutritious and taste like chicken. I stopped panicking for a moment to resume my delving into the reliquary of condemned artifacts. And lo, I beheld...

What treasures of madness it contained: Dead Space 2, Black House, Rainbow Nerds, Gobstoppers, and the Lord of Bones himself!

I cracked open the book to see if I could understand any of its Eldritch writings - but that accursed hand attacked again!

Fears conquered, I took a moment to appreciate what is a very impressive haul. My thanks to thee, sender of damned souls, in whatever circle of Hell you dwell in!

The spiders make for a very fashionable wig.