If you've ever fallen hard for a special someone, you know that love can be as dangerous a drug as heroin or vodka tampons. One minute you're completely sane, the next you're jumping on Oprah's couch like a coked-up toddler who just found out about Pop Rocks. But no matter how much you love your significant other, you've probably never crossed the line from crazy romantic to crazy insane.

7 Russian Man Stages His Elaborate Death for a Marriage Proposal

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Imagine you're meeting your boyfriend at a diner or vodka bar. Instead of finding your lover staring adoringly at you over candlelight, there's a first rate trauma scene unfolding in the parking lot: ambulances, wrecked cars ... and your boyfriend lifeless and bloody on the ground. The paramedic gives you the worst news of all -- the love of your life is dead. Your dreams are as torn as the very visible flesh on his tender neck.

The Daily Mail

"We could have saved him. But look at those suspenders -- he's better off dead."

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You turn your back to the horror movie that's now your life to process everything that's happening. And as you do, your goddamned boyfriend pops up, skips over to the ambulance and emerges with a balloon in his hand. A FREAKING BALLOON. This whole scene was Freddy Kruegerski's idea of a marriage proposal. And since you're obviously suffering from PTSD, you say yes.

When Alexey Bykov proposed to his girlfriend in the completely true scenario above, he knew it had to be convincing. So he hired a movie director, stuntmen, make-up artists and even a scriptwriter to stage the whole thing. "I wanted her to realize how empty her life would be without me and how life would have no meaning without me," he said, dickishly.

The Daily Mail

"Also, we're now ridiculously in debt. Aaron Sorkin and Ridley Scott do not come cheap."