Kate Gallagher argues the warning signs are usually there from the start

Ayeeshia Jane Smith was returned to mother, who stamped her to death

A one-year-old boy was left alone in his cot in a locked room for 36 hours. His mother had left him eight bottles of milk, but because it was August, it curdled to rancid yoghurt.

Neighbours alerted police to his sobs and he was rescued.

It's a heartbreaking story - made more so by the fact this little boy's escape was dangerously short-lived. It was another three years before he was put up for adoption because of enduring neglect.

This obsession with keeping the family together, even when those families are unspeakable, is putting children's lives at risk (stock photo)

I know this because I sit on the adoption panel handling his case. He was with foster parents for just a few days before being returned to his mother. The mother who had gone off for the weekend with her drug-dealer boyfriend - then sobbed and raged and swore it wouldn't happen again.

Unsurprisingly, she continued her neglectful behaviour - until, when her son was four, he was removed for good.

He asked if the social worker could find him adoptive parents 'who like Thomas The Tank Engine'. We managed to do that, but not as quickly as he deserved. Aghast, I asked the social worker why there had been such a long delay. The response was: 'We always try to keep the family together.'

I was so upset when I came home from that particular panel, I could hardly speak. I spent the evening bursting into tears. I was furious that an innocent child's life had been put at risk on so many occasions. If it weren't for a concerned neighbour, he would likely be dead.

How the words of his social worker came back to me last month when I read about the ghastly death of Ayeeshia Jane Smith, taken from a happy home with foster parents and returned to her drug-addled mother, who stamped her to death at their home in Burton-on-Trent, Staffs.

This obsession with keeping the family together, even when those families are unspeakable, is clearly putting children's lives at risk.

Ayeeshia Jane Smith was taken from a happy home with foster parents and returned to her drug-addled mother, who stamped her to death at their home in Burton-on-Trent

During my five years on the adoption panel, virtually every case has made my blood boil. Half of them involve the awful acronym NAI (Non-Accidental Injuries), almost always inflicted by the mother's boyfriend, who resents the offspring of another man.

I must say I do have sympathy for social workers. Imagine going to work every day knowing that you will be encountering Britain's worst families.

Ironically, it's much easier for the RSPCA to remove neglected animals than it is to take children away. Good foster parents are also hard to keep because they know children raised in terrible homes often have behavioural problems.

Ayeeshia's mother Kathryn Smith texted her mother to say her daughter hadn't been fed for a week. Other warning signs included her drug addiction and unexplained injuries

It is a sorry state of affairs. Michael Lamb, Professor of Social and Developmental Psychology at Cambridge University, says the problem lies with the fact that 'social services nationwide are not enthusiastic about adoption'. He explains: 'They prefer the holding pattern: take the children away, put them in foster care and stabilise them. Then they try to solve family problems, such as substance abuse and poor housing.

'They think if you change the family circumstances, the children should go home. Terminating parental rights is always a last resort.

I was furious that an innocent child's life had been put at risk on so many occasions. If it weren't for a concerned neighbour, he would likely be dead

'There's a failure of decision-making and a reluctance to accept that some parents are too broken to look after their own children properly.'

In the past ten years, 19 children from 12 families in England and Wales have been killed at the hands of a parent who was a known perpetrator of domestic abuse. Social services were warned the child was in danger - yet hadn't seen fit to put them into care.

For seven of those families, the perpetrator's contact with the child had been ordered through the courts.

Family courts often take the view that it is easiest, and cheapest, to approve contact with parents - even bad ones.

Not understanding the ongoing risk presented by domestic abuse can prove fatal.

Children who are returned to a problem parent are often resented as the person who got them into trouble in the first place - by turning up for school with too many bruises or telling their teacher what is going on at home. Domestic abuse is an issue in at least 70 per cent of cases before the family courts. Yet only around 1 per cent of applications for contact are refused.

Ayeeshia had thrived, put on weight and even learned to talk while with her foster carers

Social workers (and I count a few as friends) seem obsessed with solving family problems, believing that if bad families can be helped, all will be for the best.

There is no better proof of the naivety of this approach than the case of Peter Connelly, Baby P, who was tortured to death by his mother's boyfriend and the boyfriend's brother. The family had been provided with baby equipment worth hundreds of pounds, as though a nice cot from Mothercare would make all the difference.

Peter had thrived in foster care before being returned to the people who would eventually kill him.

The paperwork for these children always makes for depressing reading - so many alarm bells ring before they are taken into care.

Peter Connelly, known as Baby P, was tortured to death by his mother's boyfriend and the boyfriend's brother. He had thrived in foster care before being returned to the people who would eventually kill him

As with Ayeeshia's mother, Kathryn Smith: drug or alcohol addiction before the child is born, unexplained injuries, malnutrition. Smith texted her mother to say Ayeeshia hadn't been fed for a week.

The warning signs are there from the start. A bad mother will fail to keep appointments with health workers, pretend to be out when health visitors call and not make sure their child has access to a doctor and vaccines.

The mother often has a series of boyfriends - none of whom is the child's father. The children have untreated head lice for months and no toys to play with. The living room will have an expensive TV and sound system, but the baby's room will be spartan. The signs are there, but are too often ignored.

I strongly believe adoption has become a political issue. The Government can say what it likes about changing things - and Martin Narey, the adoption tsar, has made great strides in speeding up the adoption process.

Social services seem averse to adoption and obsessed with turning bad families into good ones - something which is often impossible

But social services, from the bosses to those at the coal face, seem averse to adoption and obsessed with turning bad families into good ones - something which is often impossible.

It's little wonder the turnover of social workers is so high. I have known lots of good, dedicated people who last a few months and then resign.

I asked a social worker friend why it takes so long for maltreated children to be removed from their families. She said: 'The public don't realise that you need a lot of evidence, otherwise the courts just wipe the floor with us.

'We have to collect proof from GPs, schools and nurseries. All that takes time, especially if the child isn't at school or nursery.'

Children have a much better chance of a secure future with an adoptive family if they are placed under the age of three.

The main reason for a failed adoption is that the children have been in the system for too long, being moved around foster families until they lose all trust in adults.

Some councils are addressing the problem head-on in what is being called 'The Baby P Effect'. Referrals, where a child is marked as at risk, rose by 25 per cent last year.

Councils are also hiring social workers from overseas, especially Canada and Norway, to fill gaps in staffing. Overseas adoption schemes are much better than our own.

Another flaw in our system is that where a mother is cruel or neglectful, social workers try to place her child with a member of the extended family. It's all back to the mantra of 'keeping the family together' - whether or not that family is fit to raise a child.

But if the child goes to an aunt or grandparent, there is no follow-up to ensure they're not in contact with the bad parent.

And spare a thought for the foster mothers who have looked after the neglected children. In care, Baby P and Ayeeshia had thrived and put on weight - Ayeeshia even learned to talk. Imagine how those poor families feel now.

It's also depressing that when things go wrong, social service chiefs on six-figure salaries just resign and move on to another well-paid job.

While social workers are busy uniting impossible families, many children face uncertain futures. Surely we need to face facts: adoption is often by far the best solution. Whether that's fashionable to admit or not.