Silly LOFAS, Hussie already stole our souls the first read around. That's why we feel nothing when we read it subsequent times, and must feed on the delicious vicariously-experienced endorphin-based emotional energy readers like you weave into the Internet through your blogs and videos. That's also why certain pages must be audio reacted, as vocal communication carries far more of that sweet, sweet energy than text does, and we need our fixes. Been a while since my last one, though. So cold.

With the alleged conclusion of the story fast approaching, what does that mean for all of you?

Will Hussie satiate your ravenous hunger for content? Or will it just grow stronger, as you spiral endlessly into the abyss, without even a semblance of hope on the horizon? I’m not even close enough to *imagine* what an ending could look like, let alone appreciate the gravitas of your situation. But if there’s one thing I’m sure you’re feeling, it’s fear. Fear that the narrative you love so much won’t meet your expectations. Fear of regretting your struggles through years of buildup. Fear that this was all leading up to the incineration of your spirits by a duplicitous author, in the blaze of a monstrous joke. Your precarious position leaves all of you hanging on every word that Hussie publishes, waiting for what will either be an awesome experience or one of the biggest letdowns in your life.

Ultimately, I suppose you’re right to envy my inaugural reading of the story. By the time I care enough to be devastated by Homestuck, I’ll at least know whether or not the ending was satisfactory to everyone else. I’ll be able to purely enjoy whatever Hussie sees fit to offer us, without the same degree of excessive worry or crippling tension. As Hussie gazes down over his millions of readers, I have no doubt that he will chuckle to himself heartily before everything is over. Maybe he’ll even decide that you should get a perfect ending to his masterpiece after all! When he finally opens his mouth to speak, uttering what may well be the final words you ever need to hear, we can only pray that he gets right to the point and says: “Ima need about tree fiddy” It is around this time you all realize that this gorgeous man is about 8 stories tall and a crustacean from the paleozoic era. That damned Loch Ness Monster had gotten you again!