Dear Princess Celestia,

Ever since my hair growth spell backfired, I've been undergoing a horrifying transformation along with everypony in Ponyville. Aside from Spike, who seems to be immune, I am the last one with full control over my mind and body.

At first, the only changes were physical. Everypony grew large amounts of hair all over their body. Then, ponies began to behave strangely. At first I thought everypony's inclination towards hugs was part of some obscure Ponyville holiday. But then, they all started to have cravings for spaghetti, which they soon called simply "sketties", as their minds began to deteriorate. Now, they all have the minds of a foal-neigh, of a newborn. I wake up to cries of "Pway?" and "New fwiend?"

The mayor has changed in another way. She has become a tyrant, akin to King Sombra, if Sombra had the brains of a three-year-old. She insists on the title of "Smarty Friend" and goes about forcing ponies fwom their homes and claiming dem for hew own, threatening them with "Sorry Poopies"- she defecates on them.

Speaking of which, our biologies have changed as well. These fluffy ponies pwoduce feces more often than a normal pony. If you'll pardon my use of vulgarities in such a formal letter, the stweets are lined with shit. Furthermore, the lungs seem to shrink, as the fluffy ponies dwown almost immediately upon contact with any amount of wawa. The first casualties wewe two fillies by the names of Diamond Tiawa and Silvew Spoon.

I don't have much longer before I become one of them. I find myself speaking as one would to a babeh mowe and mowe often, and I've asked Spike to make sketties fow the past thwee nights in a wow.

I can feew the fwuff ovewtaking me. It is a good pain.

Pwease send huggies,

Twiwight Spawkle.