We all know the Marvel cinematic universe is kicking ass, and shows no signs of slowing down; their upcoming films include Guardians of the Galaxy, Dr. Strange, and possibly even the Inhumans! Since the Inhumans are basically X-Men on LSD, you might think that there’s no superhero Marvel can’t make a movie of. Au contraire — here are eight we’ll likely never see star on the big screen.


1) Sub-Mariner

You’d think that being Marvel’s equivalent of Aquaman, that there’d be plenty of Marvel executives who see the potential in a movie about Namor, the prince of Atlantis. And honestly, there probably are. But imagine any meeting Marvel has with potential investors, any attempt to explain Namor to the masses, any review of a possible Sub-mariner film that doesn’t include the phrase “he's Aquaman with a bad attitude and wearing a speedo!” Honestly, there’s no point in Marvel even trying.


2) She-Hulk

Seeing as the Hulk can barely get a movie even after Mark Ruffalo’s Bruce Banner stole the spotlight every minute he was on-screen in Avengers, the chances of his cousin Jennifer Walters — who turned into She-Hulk after receiving a blood transfusion from Bruce — are pretty much nil. Besides, any rampaging monster-type stories they’ll want to save for Hulk, which leaves She-Hulk starring in comedy, such as her Marvel universe lawyer gigs. Unfortunately, that comedy would denigrate pretty much the entire tragedy of the Hulk (why does Bruce turn into a raging best while She-Hulk stays totally normal? Why does Bruce hate the Hulk, while Jen is completely fine being She-Hulk?), ruining a much more popular superhero. Marvel’s definitely going to concentrate solely on Hulk… whenever they decide to come back to him.

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3) Alpha Flight

Sorry, Canada. The X-Men have Marvel’s mutant-dom locked-down; even if Fox does decide to branch out, or if Marvel still has some mutant movie rights in its back pocket, they’re going to do X-Force, X-Factor, X-Treme X-Men, Excalibur, or even X-Statix before they get around to Alpha Flight. Again, it all boils down to the pitch: “It’s X-Men… but Canadian!” is not going to get very far outside of one particular country.


4) Shang-Chi

There’s nothing wrong with the idea of a kung fu movie based on Marvel’s classic Master of Kung Fu, but it’s mostly about a conservation of resources and audience desires. To put it simply, Marvel only has the chance to start one martial arts-based superhero movie franchise, if they do, they’re going to try with the much better-known, much more popular and the potential-to-introduce-or-be-introduced-by-a-Luke-Cage-movie Iron Fist. Sorry, Shang Chi. Maybe you can guest-star.


5) The Sentry

The Sentry is a rather new addition to the Marvel universe; essentially, he’s Superman but crazy as shit. A good idea for a comic, and potentially a good idea for a movie, but one that won’t happen. This is partially because The Sentry doesn’t have the cultural cache of other Marvel heroes, who have been skittering around pop culture for decades now, partially because Marvel almost certainly does not want a character that powerful in its cinematic universe, and partially because the character is far too psychotic to carry a Marvel movie. The Sentry is technically a superhero, but he’s definitely a dude who flies villains into outer space and then tears them apart like fresh bread. The Sentry would be a much better Avengers villain than a star of his own flick.


6) Cable

While one of Marvel’s most popular mutants (and a complete bitch in Marvel Vs. Capcom 2) this is Cable’s origin: He is the unborn son of the X-Men’s Cyclops and Madeline Pryor (a clone of Jean Grey) who was sent to the future, raised to be a gun-toting badass, contracted a techno-organic virus which has cyborg-ized various parts of his body, and then traveled to the past to stop his evil clone from taking over the world. Not only would this nonsense be impossible to explain in anything less than an 8-hour movie, in current X-Men movie continuity, both Cyclops and Jean Grey are dead, Jean hasn’t been cloned, and they definitely never had a baby. If they want an X-Men from the future to raise some hell, they’ll just call the far less complicated Bishop.


7) Man-Thing

If a superhero’s name is also a euphemism for a penis, that superhero is not getting a movie.


8) Deathlok

The zombie-cyborg-soldier Deathlok’s heyday began in the ‘90s and pretty much ended in the ‘90s, so that’s one problem right there. The bigger problem is that Deathlok only has three storytelling possibilities: 1) shooting bad guys, 2) being a mercenary and shooting people he’s paid to shoot, and 3) shooting people for S.H.I.E.L.D. All three of these things are better done by the Punisher, Deadpool and the agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., respectively, and all of which are infinitely more popular than Deathlok, have established movie credentials under their belt, and are much, much less… ‘90s. And seeing as the Deadpool movie is in development hell and both Punisher movies have tanked, I doubt Marvel is in any hurry to make a film combining the duller portions of both characters, let alone add Deathlok to the S.H.I.E.L.D. TV series.