I've never owned a cat. Here's why: The best thing a cat owner ever says about their pet is that they are "just like a dog." That's an admission that dogs are the superior pet. So why not just get a dog and have a guarantee that your pet is "just like a dog?"

On the other side of the spectrum, you have bad cats who are just plain mean. Not only aggressive, but cruel and calculating. It feels like they are just constantly plotting your demise. I don't have any proof of that, but I think the burden of proof falls on you to convince me otherwise.

Wanna hear the worst thing a dog ever did? He barked one too many times.