Art by Steve Stone

Fictional curse words are the most fun you can have without the censors coming down on you! And while we love our “fraks” and “frells” and even the occasional “Odin’s Beard!”, we have found the true treasure trove via the Malazan Book of the Fallen Wiki. We’ve started sending them around the office as a quick pick-me-up. Here are some of our favorites!

(NOTE: There are some actual sweary bits in these curses. Just FYI.)

When You’re Fed Up

“Errant’s butt hole”

“Daughter Dusk, take me”

“To the Witches with it”

“May the gods die of crotch-rot”

When You Don’t Like Someone

“All my homeland gods damn them”

“May the Seven Holies flay your treacherous soul”

“May your bones grow white and light as feathers”

To Express Confusion



“What in the Abyss”

“Who in the name of Togg and Fanderay”

“What in K’rul’s pits”

“Who in cursed Fener’s own entrails are you?”

General Exclamations

“By the cloven hoof”

“Mother Dark deliver me”

“Hoary Sea-Father!”

“Mange and moult”

“Imperial dust!”

“Poliel’s Pustules!”

Fun with Metaphors!

“Cold as a Jaghut winter”

“As sure as I’m a demon in my dear father’s eye”

This is obviously a very small sampling. You can find much more over on the Malazan Wiki. Happy hunting!