Eric Reads The News is a daily humor column which skewers politics, pop culture, celebrity, shade, and schadenfreude. .

Just when I thought I was out of the political thirst business, Jacob Frey, the symmetrical mayor of Minneapolis pulls me back in. And, reader, it brings me great pleasure and great trepidation to announce that this Midwest morsel is one hot dish.

That said, I have been burned by beautiful biscuits too many times before and so I reserve the right to take it all back pending a review of every college costume party Frey has ever attended. Please deliver the files to my office by EOB, Mayor Frey. Personally. Maybe whilst wearing a lil sailor suit.

Frey was elected in 2017 and seems, from my cursory research done by typing "Is the hot mayor problematic" to not be a ticking time bomb of snack-faced scandal. But, really, one never knows. So, like the Baker's Wife in Into the Woods knocking knickers with a prince while she's supposed to be out tracking down a child scam artist, let's just enjoy this peculiar passing moment.

Here he is getting his entire life at BET Presents 19th Annual Super Bowl Gospel Celebration and this feels like a trap set specifically for me! You're telling me this man can clap on the 2s and 4s? This snack has a little swerve in his step? Ciao babies, that's a wrap for moi.

Frazer Harrison Getty Images

And here's Mayor Bae presenting on-stage next to the mayor of St. Paul, Melvin Carter, another Twin Cities treat, and I am booking my flight immediately. Yes, I know that it is already 36 degrees in Minneapolis (RIGHT NOW. ON THIS EARTH.) but these tantalizing twin tater tots are pretty hot and tempting.

Frazer Harrison Getty Images

To quote the Queen of Jordan, "I'll take that with cheese!"

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(Do you get it? It's a Midwest joke. Because cheese. And also because I'd like to ::Wifi signal is cut by the Democratic Party::)

Okay, I'm back on a pirate internet signal and I just need to say: The people of Minnesota are hot and they are voting for hotness and I do not know why this isn't on the front page of the New York Times!



What's that? You'd like to see a photo of the Hot Dish Mayors in a cute snowball fight? Call me Will Smith in Aladdin cuz I'm granting your wish and also looking at me is vaguely unsettling!

MediaNews Group/St. Paul Pioneer Press via Getty Images Getty Images

Star Tribune via Getty Images Getty Images

Star Tribune via Getty Images Getty Images

Hmm? You'd like to see Bae Frey screaming enthusiastically as a group of new American citizens get sworn in at a baseball game? Wow, that's a very specific request but I appreciate the thoroughness of your fantasy life. Here ya go!

Hannah Foslien Getty Images

Frey Bey is out here looking like an In-His-Prime McDreamy and I'm about to move to his district and build a house out of candles even though we all know that by the time Meredith finished lighting all of those candles most of them would have burned out. Did she have a team of interns? You're telling me there was no breeze in Seattle that night? In the middle of the woods. I'm calling for a congressional investigation. Sondland may ignore subpoenas but Shondaland won't!

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Giving you the big smile and crinkle-cornered eyes of your nephew's Little League Coach who would have you risking it all. Showing up at every game like you are really committed to, what is this, T-ball? Sure.

He looks like a lawyer in a TV show about a lawyer who, I guess, does law and stuff but mostly takes off his shirt. It co-stars Debi Mazur and Djimon Hounsou and it runs for 11 years, each one of them more thirst-filled than the last.

Here's Frey Bae wearing... pajamas? Unclear.

Sean M. Haffey Getty Images

He's at the X-Games so maybe he's dressed like your grad school boyfriend who decompresses by spending hours playing Fortnite every weekend and, honestly, I am not mad about it at all. Is it weird that he hasn't moved from the spot I left him in this morning even though I've managed to go to brunch, then to Target, then to a flea market where I bought some old family photographs of strangers (what will I do with them? I don't know; I'm thinking collage), then to a lecture at the public library (whale songs), then to dinner and drinks with my college roommate who now works for the FBI, then, randomly, dancing because her new girlfriend showed up and Sheila (that's the girlfriend) is wild and keeps promising shots, and now it's 1 am and he's still in his little pajama pants and he looks up and he's like "Have you eaten? I was thinking pizza." And I'm like "I've lived a whole LIFE today, Gregory!"



If you want a treat, go to minute 0:43 in this video to catch him out here looking like Blues Clues.



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What a delicious finger sandwich he is!

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I'm picking up grown up Elio from Call My By Your Name vibes but that's just because I think every attractive man with brown hair looks the same and you are not allowed to sue me for saying that. It's the LAW.

This man, with a truly impressive head of hair that must take at least 40 minutes to style, is giving you Disney prince realness but perhaps, you dare to hope, a new kind of Disney prince who isn't there to steal the focus of the story and just wants to be helpful and speaks truth to power and cries a little bit at the end of some documentaries and has a sidekick who is a magical hat that he never actually wears because of the aforementioned truly impressive head of hair. In conclusion, a man looks like this in Minneapolis and, pending an extensive background check, I am very glad about it.

R. Eric Thomas R Eric Thomas is a Senior Staff Writer at ELLE.com, home of his daily humor column "Eric Reads the News," which skewers politics, pop culture, celebrity shade, and schadenfreude.

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