To be heard is a powerful gift you can give to everyone you meet. We, as humans, have a deep need to be heard. It's part of a broader fundamental human need we all have to see and be seen. When you are heard, really fucking heard, a deep need for connection and intimacy is fulfilled. A relationship with a person who understands you is formed. It’s how you actually give a shit. Bonds of attachment are built with each passing moment of deeper connection you give in the form of deep listening.

For most of my life, I was a shitty listener. I was quick to interrupt and overflowing with unsolicited advice. I had a natural talent for sensing what another person was needing in the moment but got all mixed up into thinking I needed to solve their problems for them. I was really just doing it to avoid solving my own issues and avoid feeling my own feelings of sadness and shame.

When you're able to listen, truly listen, not just listen to their ego, not just listen to their armor, but truly listen and truly see their inner essence, they feel loved. They feel accepted. They feel invited to come out of their shell and be revealed to you.

Just as deep bonds can be built when being listened to, authentically dropping all listening filters, and simply being open and curious to who the person is, creates an equally strong connection by listening. Receiving what the speaker most wants to share, without judgment and desire to control outcomes, is a practice that opens you to receive more love, attention, and abundance in all parts of your life.

Learning to be a good listener is a gift you can cultivate and share with everyone you meet. The more you listen, the more you will be able to understand the people around you. It takes skill, practice, and work to change your old habits and stories. Listening is both an art and science. It takes conscious masculine energy to be attentive, as well as focused and intuitive feminine energy to be connected with the other person. It is a whole body-and-spirit experience.