This is an amazing story about a client who was stuck in his recovery and needed something to shake things up. Watch the video first then read below.

In the video I share a story about a client who screamed “I hate this shit” as loud as he could in a porn shop that he went to — often. I know the place because I used to go there years ago when I was a sex addict.



As Eckhart Tolle, author of the “Power of Now” and other books, wrote, “This kind of compulsive thinking is actually an addiction. What characterizes an addiction? Quite simply this: you no longer feel that you have the choice to stop. It seems stronger than you. It also gives you a false sense of pleasure, pleasure that invariably turns into pain” (Tolle 1999, 14.)

How can you get free of these voices? The first step, which might be clear by now, is to realize that you have your own amphitheater and you can turn on the lights. First, imagine this dark arena. There are seats, but you can’t see them yet because the light are out. This is your own amphitheater. Illuminating the amphitheater will allow you to see what part of you is talking and demanding that you take an action that could have negative consequences. You can identify your sexually compulsive stories and coping strategies from the past that are stored there in the darkness, the voices that prompt you to act out sexually. You can do this by using a simple technique of listening to yourself and creating a dialogue.

If you keep the lights on in your amphitheater and a situation arises in which you hear a voice encouraging you to act out sexually, telling you that you’ll feel better, making excuses, or even calling you a wuss, you can talk back to it. These voices and your behaviors feel automatic, but they’re not. It’s your amphitheater. It’s happening within you. You have the power of the light switch. You can turn on the lights and see who is talking.

Maybe it’s not an amphitheater in your case. You can make it a TV studio, a stadium, or even keep it an amphitheater. It doesn’t matter if it’s a circus tent. What matters is that you hear what I call your negative sub-personalities talking. Again, the point of this chapter is to realize that you’re in the dark, but you have a choice. You can turn on the lights and stop being run by these dark parts of you.

What I did with this client in the video is something that you can do with the addict sub-personality you meet in your amphitheater. You can continue to speak these negative sub-personalities wherever you are. If you’re sitting at your computer looking at porn, at a strip club, or with a prostitute, you can even imagine me being there with you to bring in a dose of reality. You can imagine me saying to you, “The woman is acting like she likes you, but how would she act if you weren’t paying her?”

You are not your addict. You are not your story. And… YOU ARE NOT YOUR MIND!

If you want to understand this better, and be entertained, watch the video.