Drew Barrymore: 'I NEVER want to repeat my upbringing'



After a ‘haphazard’ childhood in the full glare of Hollywood, DREW BARRYMORE has at last created the healthy family life that she always craved. Here she tells Elaine Lipworth why she is determined to do the right thing for her daughters

'I didn't have family and home, so the world of film gave me that structure'

Drew Barrymore is glowing. She has just given birth to her second daughter Frankie, with her husband, art consultant Will Kopelman, and is full of the joys of motherhood, despite the sleepless nights with 19-month-old Olive and the newborn.

‘Being a mum is incredible, but it’s hard work, all day long. It does feel like 99 per cent of your time is for the baby and one per cent is for you. And that one per cent still comes with an avalanche of guilt. You’re like, “Oh God, it’s ten o’clock at night and I’m watching bad television. Yes, she’s asleep, but is this OK?” It’s like you’re doing something you’re not supposed to be doing,’ laughs the 39-year-old actress.

We are meeting to talk about Drew’s latest film Blended, a raucous romcom set in a South African holiday resort, which reunites her with her ‘on-screen husband’ Adam Sandler – the pair previously starred in The Wedding Singer and 50 First Dates. ‘Every ten years we get to fall in love,’ she laughs.

But the conversation keeps coming back to babies. Having missed out on any semblance of normal family life herself, parenthood isn’t something Drew takes lightly. ‘I think if you get to that point in your life when you are a mother, you’re happy to apply yourself wholly to your child,’ says Drew. ‘As I had kids nearing 40 rather than in my 20s or 30s, I guess I had to grow up. I needed to figure out a lot of things that I didn’t learn when I was younger by example.’

Drew was born into a showbusiness dynasty: her grandfather John Barrymore was a legendary actor; her great-aunt Ethel was an actress; her great-uncle Lionel was a leading light in theatre and cinema, and Drew’s father John Barrymore was an actor – and an alcoholic. He abandoned the family soon after his daughter was born, and died in 2004. Drew’s mother Jaid was a struggling actress who regularly took her daughter clubbing in her early teens.

At six years old, Drew became the most popular child actress since Shirley Temple, when Steven Spielberg – her godfather – cast her as the adorable Gertie in his 1982 classic ET. But behind the mischievous smile was a deeply troubled child. ‘I grew up under the microscope,’ she says. The family breadwinner throughout her childhood, she was drinking alcohol and smoking pot at nine. Aged 13 she had a stint in rehab; at 14 she attempted suicide. The following year, the actress was granted legal emancipation from her parents.

It is a tribute to Drew that she has not only survived, but emerged as a strong and dynamic woman with her feet firmly on the ground. There is no bitterness; on the contrary, she is positive and warm.

'Before I met my husband and his family and started having kids, my friends were the loves of my life'

Her box-office hits, which include Never Been Kissed, the Charlie’s Angels films and Music and Lyrics, have made two and a half billion dollars globally. But Drew has tackled serious roles, too, and won a Golden Globe for her performance as ‘Little Edie’ Bouvier Beale – Jackie Kennedy’s eccentric cousin – in the TV drama Grey Gardens. Drew is also forging a pioneering path for women in Hollywood: she has her own production company, Flower Films, and directed her first film Whip It in 2009.

The actress recently launched her own make-up line called Flower Beauty, and earlier this year her coffee-table book Find it in Everything was published, with photos she’s taken of heart-shaped objects and patterns. ‘There’s no negative connotation in a heart. It’s pure,’ she says.

In Blended, Drew plays Lauren, a single mum whose first date with Jim (Adam Sandler) is so disastrous that they never want to see each other again. Soon afterwards, Lauren is on holiday with her children when she discovers to her horror that Jim is at the same safari resort with his own brood.

They are stuck with each other, and inevitably hostility turns to romance… There’s lots of slapstick involving elephants, crocodiles and ostriches, but the film also takes a moving look at the challenges facing broken families.

Drew has been married twice before – briefly in 1994 to Jeremy Thomas, a Welsh barman, and for five months in 1999 to comedian Tom Green. Past boyfriends include the actor Justin Long and drummer Fabrizio Moretti of The Strokes. The actress married Will Kopelman in June 2012. Here Drew talks about life as a working mum, and learning from her parents’ mistakes.

Drew as Gertie in ET

I would never have raised children in the haphazard environment in which I grew up. As a mum I just want to get it right. I probably wouldn’t have had kids unless I had settled down and become mature and met the right person. My husband has good values and so do his family. That was very attractive to me. We live very close to my in-laws. Yeah, I know, most people don’t like their in-laws. Well, maybe it’s karma but mine are great. I had tough parents growing up; now great in-laws. It all gets balanced out.

You need to talk about what’s important and what isn’t. Trust is crucial. My daughter Olive leaps into my arms from the stairs or the side of the pool. She is one of those adventurous kids, and people always say, ‘She must feel safe if she’ll dive into your arms,’ and I am like, ‘Well, that’s a good sign that I’m on the right track.’ I am sure things will go up and down throughout our lives but I think that’s so important.

Steven Spielberg is the best. He is a good, loving person who taught me a lot. He was someone who said, ‘I will do this for you…’ and then he would do it, which was mind-blowing to me. I think that’s the sign of a great parent, too. You lead by example. There was nobody showing me the way, but then later I chose people who I thought would provide a good example. I’ve always admired those who have their lives together and who are emotionally stable. I never want to repeat my upbringing.

With Cameron Diaz and Lucy Liu in Charlie's Angels

Twenty years ago I contacted Adam Sandler and said, ‘I know that we are meant to be together…in a movie.’ Thank God he agreed and we found The Wedding Singer to do. It’s a mystery to me why Adam and I have chemistry. A little while back I met him again and said, ‘I think it’s time to make a movie again.’ He agreed and found [the script for] Blended. We make each other better.

I marvel at how funny and sweet Adam is. He’s not a dark comedian, he’s not angry. I think what he does is a great service to the world – he makes people laugh.

You will find Blended funny but it’s really about trying to figure out how to make family life work. I like the balance of something meaningful and realistic and heartfelt that is also very happy and silly.

On my beside table I have a picture of Olive with 50 elephants walking behind her. When we shot Blended in South Africa, I brought my family to the set. It was hard because we were doing night shoots and then I’d want to spend the day with my daughter. It was exhausting and awesome.

My desk looks like it belongs to an insane person who aspires to be artistic rather than organised. I try to make sure that everything is in place but I’ve never had the organising gene. I’m really excited if the baby-changing bag has everything I need in it. I don’t care that I’ve lost my credit card for the 50th time.

A scene from Blended with, from left, Alyvia Alyn Lind, Emma Fuhrmann and Adam Sandler

I don’t like the idea of young girls growing up with social media, because I know how sensitive they are. But there’s no going back. If you totally shelter your kids, that’s not normal, but I don’t want mine to have mobile phones until a certain age. I will never let my children act. When they’re 18, if they want to, but not before.

ET was the best thing that ever happened to me because it changed the course of my life. I didn’t have family and home and structure, so the world of film gave me that framework. But it’s different for my children. They are going to have everything they need. I can’t wait to show them ET and the Charlie’s Angels movies, so they can see girls having fun with each other and being capable, not competitive.

My husband hadn’t seen me in Grey Gardens or Ever After: A Cinderella Story when I met him. I basically forced him to watch! What other films would I want someone to watch who didn’t know me? Never Been Kissed, because I am that nerd.

I’m so excited about getting older. I wouldn’t go back for the world. If someone said, ‘You get to go back in time,’ I would be terrified. I’m only getting better. Gravity and wrinkles that come with age are fine with me. This is the last year of my 30s. I really want to do something fun for my 40th birthday. All I care about is having a good excuse for friends to get together. Before I met my husband and his family and started having kids, my friends were the loves of my life.

Drew with husband Will Kopelman

When Cameron Diaz and I did the Charlie’s Angels movies together we became inseparable. I have this group of about eight girlfriends and we go away together, drink wine and eat.

Cameron and I are both on the bestseller list. Our books [Cameron’s Body Book and Drew’s Find it in Everything] came out around the same time and we both constantly say to people, ‘Go buy her book.’ And the books are very much who we are. She cares about the body and I care about finding hearts.

I love cooking for friends but I am so unsexy in the kitchen – I need a lot of help. I can’t talk to friends while drinking wine and stirring. Cameron’s a great cook, as are a lot of the women in our group. By the way, I am going to cookery school in Italy this summer.

I want to direct again. I don’t know how I’m going to do it with children, but look at Sofia Coppola – she has two kids and she directs and she seems like the coolest person on the planet, so somebody’s figured it out. My family is still so young, though, so I need a little more time.

Blended will be in cinemas from 23 May

DREW BY DESIGN

Are you a fashion fan? I have to get dressed every day so that’s where it all starts. Some days I dread that and other days I’m amazed that if you accessorise a little and put effort in, it really does make you feel good. I think that fashion is very empowering, but I don’t care to look a certain way every day. It’s too much work. Style role model? I always love watching Cate Blanchett on the red carpet because she’s so fashionable and cool. She is the ultimate glam movie star and an amazing woman. My friend works as my stylist for red-carpet events but I certainly don’t have a stylist 360 days of the year. No, it’s me, my wardrobe…and tears. Who makes you laugh out loud? [US political satirist] Stephen Colbert. I worship him and every night I watch The Colbert Report. He is my drug and I’ve never missed a show. The movie that always puts a smile on your face? Bridesmaids will always make me laugh. I could look at Melissa McCarthy watching paint dry. Best quality? I guess I’m glad that if I feel the need to improve something about myself, I will work at it. If I forget the baby’s bottle, I will make sure I remember it next time. If I overreact to something that I didn’t need to get that upset about, I will try not to get so upset the next time. I fix things along the way. What’s your motto for life? I just believe in happiness and being good to people. Smile at someone and they will smile back. Nice goes a long way. I called to order a takeaway the other evening and the guy was so lovely on the phone, and I was like, ‘Thank you, you are such a nice person.’ And, no, he didn’t recognise my voice. What do you look for in love? Someone who makes you feel good about life and yourself so that you’re a happier person.



