The Great UNCCH Scandal (TGU) – VS – The DaVinci Code ….. A BLSays Exclusive.

During the 10-week recovery from my retina surgery, I could not drive. The BobLeeMobile sat idle. When I tried to start it the battery was dead…. Duh. A $140 new battery and I was good to go. A lesson learned…. “use it or lose it”.

Lets apply that strategy to discussion of everyone’s favorite Great Athletic/Academic Scandal i.e. The Great Unpleasantness at UNCCH? With that poor horse still on life-support, I can’t risk losing my razor keen analytical skills…. let’s beat it once again.

The timeline for this Keystone Kops Kaper looks like a plate of spaghetti. We are approaching the 4th, 5th or 28th “deadline” for UNC to respond to a response to a response? NCAA LOIC (Lack of Institutional Control) allegation #12 or #23 ??? Some research geek with the local chapter of ABC (Anybody But Carolina) has the correct chronology.

The NCAA critiquing ANYONE for “lack of control” redefines hypocrisy. ….. “pots and kettles ”.

I recall “Young Marvin” Austin (who recently joined AARP and applied for MediCare) hitting SEND from some South Beach debauchery straight out of a Ballers episode…. during the Carter Administration, wasn’t it?

Then Humpty Dumpty fell out of the rafters of Dean’s Dome and went SPLATT. “All the king’s horses and all the king’s men” and more high-paid lawyers and PR hacks than there are banners in those rafters have been working feverishly to sweep Humpty’s mess under any rug they can find at around a $1,000/hour… but who’s counting?

The last $$$ tally had the TGU Cover-Up Costs at upwards of 18,000,000…. Or is 18,000,000 the N&O’s “official” tally of the number of derelicts and brain-dead hippies at “Bully” Barber’s latest Hoot&Hate ? Ask Jim Goodmon’s toadie Peter Anlyan.

…. $20,000,000 is what former Dean Smith guard Jim Delany received as a “bonus” for negotiating a Lollapalooza TV deal for the 14-members of The Big Ten. “14 members of Big Ten” – a fellow could get confused.

I cleverly put UNCCH Scandal in the title of this opus…. So 18,000,000 could be the # of moths attracted to this cyber flame. “Nekkid Cheerleaders” only gets about 5,000 by comparison.

With Blondie out chasing bunny rabbits across our front lawn with her new Mother’s Day chainsaw; I had “a vision” while eating pimento cheese and Bread&Butter pickles on Triscuits. Bear with me here….

One of the lingering “How Comes” of TGU has been WHY otherwise reasonable adults of a Tar Heel persuasion are unable to accept the FACT that Dear Old Alma Mater screwed up REALLY REALLY BAD. UNBELIEVABLY REALLY BAD…. close enough to DEATH PENALTY BAD that one can smell DEATH PENALTY with just a slight breeze

NOTE: Not everyone of “a Tar Heel persusion” is reasonable or adult or capable of rational thought; but there are some. Those “some” are today’s focus.

The simplest excuse is they are in a terminal state of knee-walking drunk on Carolina Way W(h)ine. Their self-images tied to semi-literate 18 y/os. I have another theory.

The date that dear sweet & lovable Duo of “Deb & Burgess” kicked off their little “lets do something to help Saint Coach Smith’s less academically motivated young men” Plan a/k/a SCAM has been carbon-dated to around 1992. Saint Coach Smith retired in October of 1997. Five years into the eligibility scam.

In addition to being The Greatest Human Being in The History of Human Beings (?) Saint Coach Smith was the poster saint for “micro-managing”. In addition to turning Gatorade into wine, enabling the blind to walk…. and the lame to see, Saint Coach Smith knew EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING that went on within his basketball program. OR did he?

Here comes the Dual Conundrum…. EITHER:

(1) Saint Smith did NOT know about the Eligibility Scam. He was NOT All-Knowing…. Omniscient…. Or capable of beating UCLA in The Wooden Era. ….. He was (shudder) A MORTAL MAN! ….. OR

(2) Saint Smith DID know all about the Eligibility Scam, condoned it, and simply pulled “a Sgt Schultz” from 1992 to 1997 and beyond. Ergo he was not only MORTAL, he was pathologically dishonest. Grounds for (shudder again) Un-Sainthood.

Saint Coach Smith either knew or didn’t know but either way he was NOT what he allowed his naïve “true believing” disciples to believe he was. DEAN SMITH WAS FLAWED…. And not just “smoking like a chimney”, and occasionally “driving under the influence and above posted limits”.

An incredible analogy to Rudyard Kipling’s The Man Who Would Be King applies here.

Back to those “some” rational adults of a Tar Heel persuasion who still insist on “going ostrich” since Humpty Dumpty fell from those rafters so many many years ago.

For a “DD Lower Level” Tar Heel to accept that DEAN SMITH was not only “just a man” but an ethically flawed man guilty of overseeing a crooked program for AT LEAST five years is equivalent to asking a Born Again Christian to deny both the Virgin Birth AND Resurrection.

Coincidentally, Coach Smith did both of those too when he fell under the theological influence of one Robert Seymour. But that’s a story for another day.

That Saint Dean Smith even “might not” have been what one believed in one’s heart of hearts is a Life-altering moment for a Carolina Way Wino.

Spending $20,000,000+ to preserve that myth is vintage DaVinci Code plot material. …. with self-righteous Rams Clubbers as the obsessed Knights Templar. Is this “rich” or WHAT! …. Dan Brown – Dan Kane ?

Awesome Personal Anecdote: Three years ago I had a very private conversation with a quite prominent UNC Alum. A name many would recognize. He had become addicted to this website and to my uncanny ability to cut to the chase AND…. to make him giggle.

The discussion de jour was “what did Dean know and when did he know it”. My friend was confident Dean knew absolutely nothing about it. “Oh” I said, “and how well did you know Coach Smith.” “Not at all… I never met him” he replied. “So your total confidence in his integrity and sterling character is based on …….. ?” …. “What ‘they’ say…. ’” he replied as his own words went KERPLUNK. In his profession such a blind assumption is a No No. I touched the tip of my nose and softly replied “Bingo”.

“Damn you BobLee” he muttered as he nudged a plate of warm homemade chocolate chip cookies across the table towards me. …… One more misguided soul rescued from the clutches of blissful ignorance.

I hope this helps you in further untangling this Gordian Knot of a Scandal.

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At 8:28 AM Monday a Major Game-Changer landed in Ye Olde In-Box. KABOOM! Complete details will follow later this week. If you thought “the designated hitter” and “long pants” were cataclysmic to The National Pasttime – Just Wait!

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AgentPierce is now being compared to Thomas Paine, Patrick Henry and Nathan Hale. Other than Nathan Hale being lynched by the British, this is all good…. we think. LINK

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