Absolute cracker, this one. The story is this: Ed Sheeran wants to build (build) an entire wedding chapel in his garden for his upcoming nuptuals, but is being prevented from doing so because of the presence of some great crested newts, which are a protected species. After putting in a planning request, Sheeran has met with some red flags, and now an ecological survey has to be undertaken to make sure there aren't too many newts who'd suffer.

According to the Guardian, these great crested newts are a general pain in the arse for lots of people seeking planning permission in the UK. As a general rule, if they're found on a building site, they can halt the project. Fair play to them I say, standing their ground against Sheeran. In fact, probably one of the funniest things I could possibly imagine is Ed Sheeran, one of the richest people in the UK, ready and willing to erect an entire building for one use ever with a whip of his chequebook, and being stopped from doing so by a load of slithering newts. Newts, of all things. Great stuff.

My legal advice to Ed, therefore, is this: leave the newts alone, put up a marquee, or better still, have the reception in your local pub with a load of sausage rolls and cheese and pineapple on a stick. You literally need nothing more (I'm available for any and all freelance wedding planning.)