by: Rodrick Joseph

There once was a time where the American dream was to get a great job, marry your soul mate, have children and die, watching the sunset with your partner on the deck of your farmhouse. Fast forward 75 years and the American dream is now going to a music festival, not because you want to see live music, but to get a picture for your Instagram. The feeling of getting that just right picture so that, Mary, back home, gets jealous is so much better than having a child. I mean who wouldn’t want to do drugs and kill every brain cell possible rather than watching their 6-year-old ride a bike.

As America has changed, The American Dream changes with it. Your legacy isn’t determined by how your son did on his math test. It’s determined by the likes and comments you get on your Instagram photo. People back in the day used to go out of their way, and even risk their lives, for their family. But, the joyride in 2019 comes right after the Molly hits and Closer by the Chainsmokers comes on, and your friend just confessed their “bromance/girlmance” for you. That’s the shit you’re going to take to the grave. Kids get older and forget about you, but Instagram posts last forever.

So, before you go on trying to live in 1943, remember that someone out there is risking their lives, dangling from a cliff, broadcasting live on Instagram, with 8 people watching.

Satire.