Remember the story back in December when Washington Post reporter Christoper Ingraham accidentally let a shipment of live crickets loose in his home? Well, he’s back, this time freezing a padlock to his lips when he was outside in the frigid cold trying to take care of a rabbit.

Didn’t he see “A Christmas Story”?

Anyhow that’s enough MN politics for me for one day, I’ve gotta go rake a few feet of snow of my roof pic.twitter.com/CFaZl6Ql6r — Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) February 10, 2019

Oh man you guys. So I’m out at the shed feeding our rabbit (pictured below in his enclosure, which has been transformed to a little rabbit snow-fortress on account of the weather). I’m trying to close the janky shed door, which is basically held shut by a padlock pic.twitter.com/xM23JeSnFe — Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) February 10, 2019

There’s a shitload of snow pressing against the door and my arms are all weak and fumbly because I’ve been doing this for the past two hours, so I’m having a hard time pulling the door shut AND holding on to the padlock. Thick mittens aren’t helping either pic.twitter.com/zK4sPRT8af — Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) February 10, 2019

What I really need is one more hand. So without thinking, I pop the arm of the padlock – the metal padlock – into my mouth. The air temperature at this point is about 5 degrees. — Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) February 10, 2019

Interestingly it doesn’t hurt right away, but I immediately realize I messed up bad – real bad – because every surface of my mouth in contact with the padlock is now stuck to it. — Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) February 10, 2019

So instinct takes over and I immediately yank the lock back out of my mouth. — Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) February 10, 2019

And there it is, with a layer of my lip stuck to it. Fortunately this all happens like 0.1 seconds, so I didn’t lose *too* much skin pic.twitter.com/SFkwb59Sxs — Christopher Ingraham (@_cingraham) February 10, 2019

Just a thought, but don’t let him shoot a BB gun either.

***

Related: