“I don’t know if you have children,” Pedro Obiang says, with an amused look that suggests he already knows the answer. Not yet, I reply. Obiang smiles. He laughs. “I know,” he says. He is not being patronising. He worked it out as soon as it was put to him that becoming a father during the summer must have complicated his preparations for the new season.

“Having children gives you extra energy,” the West Ham United midfielder says. “Every day I want to achieve things I can show my son later on and instil that same drive in him.”

Obiang is inquisitive, perceptive and generous with his time and there is a reason why people at West Ham often forget he is 24. He seems older, transmitting a sense of calm after each question and displaying intelligence and maturity by making it clear he does not always have the right answer.

He grapples with his sense of identity and belonging, admitting he is still trying to work out where he is from. He has an Italian wife, a Spanish passport and parents who left Equatorial Guinea in search of a better life 40 years ago. “I like the sound of being a citizen of the world,” he says.

Obiang wants to learn more about himself and the world outside football, which is why he is doing a degree in political science. Seeing as much of England as possible has been high on his list of priorities since West Ham signed him for £4.5m from Sampdoria in the summer of 2015 and, although he speaks three languages, it frustrates him that he is not confident enough to conduct this interview in English yet.

Midway through we have to take a break. Obiang has to join his team-mate Ashley Fletcher in the dressing room at the London Stadium, where they are about to surprise a group of unsuspecting young supporters.

One boy looks up in disbelief before turning to his father to ask: “Is that a real player?” Obiang makes all of them feel at ease. It is a freezing afternoon and Obiang has forgotten to bring his coat but he is soon asking the people in charge whether he can take his young fans on to the pitch.

When he returns, the discussion turns to the degree he started in Italy. He has two years left on his five-year course and, although he wants to resume it, he needs to improve his English first.

“Like anything in life it takes some dedication,” Obiang says. “As footballers we have a good amount of time. But it also took help from the teachers, particularly having evening classes because attending lectures in the morning was difficult.”

Obiang knows patience is a virtue. He frequently found himself on West Ham’s bench last season, leading to talk that a return to Italy was on the cards in the summer. He had to wait until 1 October for his first league start of this campaign. “I was frustrated last year because I would have liked to have played more games. In terms of going back to Italy there was only a 1% chance of that happening. I wouldn’t say going back to Italy would be a step backwards but I am here to give everything and am not looking to move.

“You can’t get exactly what you hope for all the time. What I did in training was I showed my best and tried to convince the coach he had to find room for me.”

West Ham’s dreadful start forced Slaven Bilic to alter his team and the introduction of Obiang has improved the midfield’s balance, giving the defence more protection. Yet West Ham’s form remains wobbly. They lost 4-1 in the League Cup quarter-final at Manchester United on Wednesday and are 16th going into Saturday’s Premier League game at home to Arsenal. “We need to show our character, which has been lacking at times this season,” Obiang says.

His Italian and Spanish influences can help to pull West Ham out of the mire. He grew up in Alcalá de Henares, a community in Madrid, and was part of Atlético Madrid’s youth system before being offered a chance to join Sampdoria when he was 16.

The thought of moving to another country, leaving his friends and family behind, made him queasy. “I was crying quite a lot. So my mother shut me in my bedroom for 15 or 20 minutes and had a very good chat with me. She said if God has given you an opportunity you should grasp it and never close doors to any possible openings. It took me a while to understand exactly what she meant.

“She explained all the positives that could come from the move, although at the same time I think a part of her didn’t want me to go because of the pain for a mother of a child moving away. I packed my suitcase the following day and I left. Now I am a father I can really step back and appreciate it. It was a really tough choice.”

In Spain there was a focus on technical ability. He had to adapt to a different culture in Italy, where there was a bigger emphasis on tactical awareness. “It was horrible in Italy at the start, almost traumatic at times, but when you do work very hard on something you take positives from it and it helped me improve as a player.

“Now I am getting to know the intensity of the English game. Here you have to give everything in every game. Sometimes it can feel like it’s about who gives more rather than who is better prepared on the day.”

It took Obiang four years to feel comfortable with the Italian style but moving to Italy was pivotal on a personal level too. When his friends asked him why he disappeared so often, the answer was he was travelling from Genoa to Udine to visit his future wife.

Pedro Obiang challenges Manchester United’s Michael Carrick during West Ham’s defeat in the EFL Cup quarter-final at Old Trafford. Photograph: Matthew Ashton/AMA/Getty Images

“I feel like I’m from wherever they will take me,” Obiang says. “I have family in Italy. I was born in Spain, grew up there and have a Spanish passport. But in terms of my roots, my parents were African so I feel African, also in terms of my colour. That’s something I feel every day.”

Obiang has not decided whom to represent at international level. “I can play for Equatorial Guinea or Gabon. The area where my father was born borders with Gabon and they tried to call me up recently, which was a surprise. I asked my father why that happened and if we had family there. He said no.”

He is not in a rush. “It’s a very big decision, relating to politics, feeling, sporting benefits,” he says.

That brief mention of politics leads us down another path. He is reading an Italian book about court cases involving children and reveals he is not the only political scientist at West Ham. Angelo Ogbonna is doing the same degree. West Ham’s Italian centre-back is his political sparring partner.

Wary of causing any controversy, Obiang keeps his cards close to his chest when he is asked about his beliefs. But he does not expect to stay in football when he retires.

“I definitely want to help others,” he says. Could he be a politician? Obiang smiles again. “Given what I’m studying, of course. But I need another 25 or 30 years.”