DAVID Davis has told a room full of people who can speak German that if it was not for Britain they would all be speaking German.

Davis made the announcement during day two of the Brexit negotiations after not knowing what else to say.

Chief EU negotiator, Michel Barnier, told the Brexit secretary: “I can speak German. In fact I can speak several languages.

“What’s your point?”

In response, Davis shook his head while scribbling on a piece of paper and muttering to himself about ‘smart arses’.

Davis then offered to lend the Europeans his DVD of the classic documentary series The World at War, ‘narrated by Brexit-supporting Laurence Olivier’.

He added: “Maybe they’ll learn a thing or two. Which they almost certainly will because they all speak excellent English.”