15 Ways to Deal With Holiday Stress When You Have Cancer by Brittany McNabb Categories Helpful Cancer Resources, Cancer Support

With the holidays around the corner are you excited to celebrate or dreading the stress? Either one is okay because the holiday season can be emotional for everyone in good and bad ways. We asked WhatNexters how cancer has affected their view of the holidays. Here are some tips on how to get through the holidays with less stress. Remember that everyone will be different.

1. If You Love the Holidays Don't Ignore them Because You Have Cancer

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If you are a person who has always loved celebrating the holidays from Turkey Day to New Year's Day then try not to let having cancer affect your holiday spirit. Although you may not be able to do the same things you used to, you may be able to adjust your festivities to fit your abilities. It may help to do simple things like listen to festive music, watch holiday movies, do holiday crafts, and other more relaxing activities.

"I love Christmas! I am back in chemo and have some bad days. I will start putting my tree and decorations up this weekend and take my time. It used to be a big party with cheese, hors d'oeuvres, guests, kids, but this year I am just not up to that. So I will put it up slowly, carefully and enjoy every moment! My neighbor said she will help me lift the heavy stuff. I put lights all over inside, decorate the mantle, the rooms, then I just immerse myself in the atmosphere." - avonlea02

"I was in treatment during the holidays 4 years ago and it was my turn to host Christmas. Everybody was very supportive they brought most of the food and desserts. I only had to cook a ham. Then when it was time to do my shot I went in another room took it and my sleeping meds and went to bed. They all understood and only stayed a little while after I went to bed. I didn't want to stop everything because I was ill. Life goes on either why. Just do the best you can and the rest will follow suit." - daca1964

2. Try Not to Overdo It

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In an effort to keep things "normal" some WhatNexters have admitted to overdoing it around the holidays. If you overdo it, then that may ultimately lead to more stress and fatigue.

"Last Christmas I watched a lot of Christmas movies and listened to Christmas music and that helped my spirit. I just had to do what I could and not overdo it." - cllinda

"I began my treatments during the holidays last year. I was determined to have a big dinner with my family on Thanksgiving but paid for it that evening. I was able to prepare the meal and set things up but was unable to join them for the meal. I slept the rest of the night. I learned my lesson and did not push myself as much during the Christmas season." - SaGonzalez

3. Make Preparations Early

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Although it can be hard for some people to plan ahead, you can try to get shopping done ahead of time (even online), make meals and freeze them for the holidays, and plan to avoid doing things last minute. A lot of WhatNexters take into account chemo, doctor's visits, and other treatments when planning the holidays.

"Christmas before last I knew surgery was coming, so I did all my cards and gift-buying before going into the hospital. I got right into the spirit in the hospital as best I could with the nurses and admiring their decorations. When I got home, we had Christmas as usual, insofar as I was able. I would never, ever, let this stinkin' cancer rule my life and ruin my holidays unless I was completely down and out, since if I did, it would win twice." - fastdog

4. Communicate with Family About Your Needs

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Whatever your situation is, it may help family and friends if you communicate your needs with them ahead of time. Maybe you can't attend a certain get together or can only stay for a short amount of time, they will probably understand. You can also communicate with them about what makes you comfortable, what you might need if you are staying in their home, or you could even warn them about appearance changes.

"Thankfully all my girls are adults and they are going to use my house but help cook and clean up. They understand that I get tired easily and depending upon what phase of treatment you are in really determines how your energy level is working. I would hope that family is aware enough of your treatment to understand and welcome hosting at their home; if they are not aware of what is going on with you then it is good to communicate with them.” - Marci

5. Take a Nap

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While we make jokes about the typical turkey induced coma, it is okay if you need to take a nap or go to bed early in the middle of holiday festivities. Family will understand and you may feel less fatigued when all is said and done.

"Even if you are tired, just being with family might make you feel better. They won't mind if you need to leave early or nap, just as long as they get to share the season with you." - jcudden

6. Contact a Free Cleaning Service

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If you are hosting and having guests to your house but don't feel up to cleaning, there are cleaning services you can contact. Cleaning for a Reason will provide one visit per month for up to four months. Cleaning for Cancer will provide monthly visits for up to three months. ComforTree, another company that specializes in nontoxic cleaning, they also do their cleaning for men or women and they will provide services for up to twelve months while you're in treatment. They define treatment as chemotherapy treatment, radiation, recovery at home from a cancer-related surgery or coming home for hospice care after you've been in the hospital with cancer.

7. Relax in Your PJs

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Relaxing in your pajamas and staying at home can make for a no-pressure holiday.

"There is a certain sweetness today (Christmas day 2012) this being my first Christmas with a cancer diagnosis and chemo coming soon. Even though we are following our tradition of being in pjs, relaxing and just enjoying the day it is still perfect." - Nanc620

8. Watch What You Eat

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WhatNexters suggest enjoying festive foods in moderation since certain foods or eating too much may cause side effects if you are in cancer treatment.

"I have always done chemo on Fridays so it has never interfered with thanksgiving dinner, though I often don't eat as much as I used to. If you tend to get nausea I would recommend not eating too much as it is not nearly as good coming up as going down." - Peroll

9. Skype If You Can't Make it To Holiday Gatherings

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If you have loved ones who live far away or if you simply can't make it to family gatherings, a lot of WhatNexters have successfully resorted to using Skype or FaceTime during the holidays.

"We had a wonderful time with our children and grandchildren. I wasn't able to make the trip to visit my sister this year so my wonderful husband hooked up Skype for me. It was so much fun." - DorothyV

10. Have Family and Friends Visit You a Few at a Time

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One WhatNexter, BobbiW, answered that she and her husband decided that it was best to lay low over Christmas because of her stage of treatment, however they still had family stop in a few at a time so that they could see everyone without getting overwhelmed.

"(Christmas 2012) My husband and I talked and decided it's better to have some quiet time together during this hectic season. Today, my step-son and his family are stopping in for a visit on their way home from a Christmas celebration at his wife's side. My wonderful daughter and her family are going to stop in for a while tomorrow before heading to my mom's for dinner. It seems the best way -- and will reduce the stress for both hubby and me." - BobbiW

11. Bring Christmas Festivities to Chemo

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Some WhatNexters have taken their festivities to chemo with them. If you are in good spirits, you could wear something festive or take holiday treats to chemo.

12. Keep it Simple

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A common wish from WhatNexters over the holidays is that they can simply make memories with the people they love. If you can only manage to keep it simple and spend time with family or friends this season then that is okay.

"This year I am so grateful I am still here and am looking forward to decorating, baking and spending lots of time with family and friends. It's not about the gifts but about making memories and spending time with all you love." - elissa5

13. Focus on Gratitude

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Many WhatNexters voice awesome feelings of gratitude 365 days of the year; some say that focusing on gratitude and small blessings can help them get through the holidays with less stress.

"I am grateful to be alive, to see another Christmas. I have so much to be grateful for. I want to really contemplate the entire season, and God's presence in my life." - avonlea02

14. Say No When It's Necessary

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Everyone is different and everyone knows what they can or cannot handle. WhatNexters say do not be afraid to say no. Some have even cancelled Christmas (or other holiday) because they have not felt up to it. WhatNexters commonly feel less excited about the holidays if they have just been diagnosed or have just began treatment or had surgery.

"I'm canceling Christmas in my home, no decorations or shopping. I just had reconstruction so I can't lift more than 10 pounds and just started chemo so this year I am acting like the year hasn't happened and avoiding it all. It is sad but true and the right thing to do for me. Maybe next year will be the one I decorate the house again." - Bb13565

15. Embrace the Holidays In Your Own Personal Way

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We cannot say it enough: do what you are comfortable with. There is no right or wrong answer for the holidays and no equation for what you should and should not do. Regardless of your current status or place in treatment, we hope some of these tips will help you as you embark on this holiday season.