Here are your reparations, sir!

By David Futrelle

It’s not just Men’s Rights Activists who’ve appropriated the language of the Civil Rights movement in order to further their reactionary cause. The incels do it too — though, incels being incels, they tend to be much weirder about it.

Take, for example, this dude on the Incels.co forums, arguing quite sincerely that incels deserve reparations for being incels just as much as African-Americans deserve reparations for slavery:

So I’m trying to follow the logic here:

If African Americans deserve reparations because of the legacy of 400 years of slavery, during which their ancestors were enslaved by the ancestors of others living in the US today …

Then incels deserve reparations because their own ancestors were allowed to have sex, and babies, for many generations, until their “genetic trash” mother gave birth to them.

Mr. Emergency Manual doesn’t specify exactly what sort of reparations he has in mind, whether he’s talking about bags of money or (presumably non-procreative) sex with some deeply unfortunate woman of his choice.

But, hey, the other incels responding to his proposal are ready to get on board regardless.

“We deserve it more,” writes Insomniac, “slavery is a thing of the past. No negro alive today has suffered from it.”

StoicNihilist, whose avatar is Nietzsche holding a gun, agrees:

No joke. I think that people like us (if you are a genuine Truecel) should be able to get financial aid from the government like disabled people. Being ugly in today’s world is effectively a disability. Most employers are biased as hell against ugly or otherwise unattractive people. My ugliness has without a doubt been the cause of me not being able to hold down a job and winding up homeless a few times.

A commenter called Wonder isn’t holding his breath.

Maybe we will in a few centuries. Families that had incels will recieve some sort of compensation. We won’t recieve anything.

Others are less interested in money than they are with being somehow provided with government-issued sex.

“I think the situation is slightly similar to the pre voting rights for black people era,” suggests Truecurrycel. “Sex should be recognised as a human right.”

Naturally, there are some incels convinced that they have it worse today than the slaves did. Adversor, who clearly wasn’t paying much attention during history class, asserts that

Many black slaves still had a black wife and kids. Sure, their lives were pretty shit but at least they had regular sex with the wife and were loved by their kids. Incels have absolutely nothing good in their lives. Slavery is nothing compared to a life of trueceldom.

In fact, slaveowners routinely raped female slaves and broke up slave families. And “not having sex” is hardly the same as the existential horror of literally being enslaved by another person. But you go ahead and feel sorry for yourself, dude.

Angrycurrycel, meanwhile, seems to have learned most of his history from PornHub.

“At least during slavery,” he whines, “white women still fetishized negroes.”

That might be enough internet for today.

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