Let’s talk about how all this started. When I was 16 years old, my grandfather and a few of my cousins were traveling to Yemen and I asked my parents if I could go with them. I figured, since I’ve never been to Yemen, it would be a good opportunity for me to go take a vacation and experience my culture first hand. Little did I know the storm that was coming my way. Our first stop in Yemen was in Sana’a, the capital of Yemen, which is where we spent the first month of our trip. Everything had been going pretty great up until that time. I was spending time with family, meeting relatives that I didn’t know I had, and taking in the life and culture of Yemen. However, at the end of the second week is when I first started hearing about his family being interested in me. My ex’s mom, which is my dad’s sister, started making it known she wanted me for her son. Apparently, she had been talking about me before she even met me! She found out I had arrived in Yemen and could smell my American passport from hundreds of miles away. She lives in Taiz, while I was in Sana’a, which is a little over 200 miles (320 km) apart, but she was quick to “call dibs” on me. It’s almost as if I’m a piece of property for her to claim. She called my mother, who was in the US at the time, to let her know she was interested. My mother then called my grandfather to have him talk to me (I’m not sure why my mother didn’t call me directly, instead of my grandfather, but that’s another topic in itself). As soon as he brought it up to me, I instantly said no. I didn’t even think about it. “I’m only 16!” is what I kept repeating to him. I still had my whole life in front of me. I wanted to graduate college, let alone high school, before I even began to think about marriage. So, I put my foot down. Absolutely not! That was that. Or at least that’s what I thought. I was hoping the topic was shut down, but I should have known that Yemeni women are relentless. She wasn’t going to give up that easily, especially if the prize to her was a Green Card.

At the end of the first month, we finally left Sana’a to go visit my family in Taiz. In my mind, the discussion of marriage was over. I said no, so it’s done. Ahh to be so young and naive… It was my first time in Taiz and even though I was staying with my mom’s side of the family, I was still a bit uncomfortable. They’re my aunts and I love them, but before then I had never met them in my life. But it didn’t take me long to get comfortable. My mom’s sister’s are great and we got along so well. Unfortunately, we were only staying in Taiz for a little over a week before we were flying back to the US. I wish I could have spent more time with my aunts but I was ready to go back home. I missed my parents, my siblings, my friends, and not to mention, my freedom (Yemen is great, but it’s not a place for a girl or woman, who is used to the American lifestyle, to live — again, that’s another topic).

A couple of days before I left is when, what I call now, “the encounter” happened. My future ex mother-in-law, a.k.a my paternal aunt, showed up to my maternal grandfather’s house unannounced. The only people home were me, my young cousin, and my grandmother. I heard the doorbell ring and my grandmother answered the door. I was giving my cousin a bath when I heard my grandmother call me to the living room. I walked in, see my aunt, and my stomach sank. I knew what was about to happen and I knew it wasn’t going to end well.