Most adoring pet owners would do anything for their cherished companions, but could they speak for their furry or feathered or finned friends and tell us what they are thinking? To find out, we’re putting pet owners to the test with the personality questionnaire made famous by French novelist Marcel Proust.

Meet Brian Eddy and Zorro.

As the founding president of the Parrot Association of Canada, Eddy knows a thing or two about birds. From the time he hand-raised Zorro from an egg in an incubator 27 years ago, the two have remained inseparable.

While Zorro’s vocabulary might not rival that of other breeds, the double yellow-headed Amazon more than makes up for it in personality. He loves women with blond hair, watching television (game shows and action movies in particular), and walnuts — in that order. He’s also partial to cheese sandwiches when they’re in the offing.

Zorro’s exuberance sometimes gets the better of him however, and a brief timeout is required. “He knows when he’s done something wrong,” says Eddy. “Sometimes after he chews the furniture or the corner of the rug he’ll fly back to his cage before I ask him to.”

What is Zorro’s idea of perfect happiness?

Sitting on his perch in the living room, watching Wheel of Fortune. As soon as he hears the music, he’ll start saying, “A” (his favourite vowel). He also loves to have a bath, and has one every day. I spray his wings with warm water and he’ll flap them while I’m doing it. He’ll then spend an hour or so grooming himself.

What or who is the greatest love of Zorro’s life?

Jeannie Ciccarelli (a woman with blond hair who lives in the building). I have to put him in his cage whenever she comes over because he’ll chase me away. He even knows her ring when she calls and starts saying, “Hello” before I answer the phone.

Which talent would Zorro most like to have?

To be able to sing along to the music I put on — classical or big band. He’ll try to sing along but he’s not a good singer.

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Which historical figure does Zorro most identify with?

Robinson Crusoe.

What is it that Zorro most dislikes?

Going to bed sometimes. If there’s something he wants to watch (on television), he’ll make a fuss. But after the show is over he’ll fly over to his cage by himself.