‘Just be yourself’ is terrible advice for most people, study warns

Following your mum’s advice to just be yourself on dates and at interviews is a really bad idea, according to a new study.

“Our results indicate that most people are really boring or annoying and are better off just flat-out lying when trying to get into someone’s pants”, said Dr Karl-Heinz Mettendorf of Cambridge University.

“And I can’t stress this enough”, he added, “If it’s a job interview, under no circumstances ‘be yourself’.

“Just don’t. Really.

“Lie until you are blue in the face, but never, ever, be yourself.

“Yes, you know who you are.”

The study also showed that the people most likely to ‘be themselves’ are also the ones who would most benefit from developing an entirely false public persona.

“When I began the study I was a happy man who actually liked people”, said Dr Mettendorf.

“But after weeks of observing people ‘being themselves’ it’s all I can do not to head up a tower with a rifle and take down as many of them as I can before the police finish me off.”

Researchers found that the advice “Be yourself” is actively detrimental to more than 95% of the population.

“I was meeting a girl for a date and my mum told me to be myself, so I spent all evening telling her about my hobby painting Warhammer miniatures,” said Greg Hamilton of Fife.

“And since then she hasn’t returned any of my calls.

“I don’t understand it. It worked really well in my job interview with Games Workshop.”