Maka: A sound ass dwells within a sound mind n' a sound body.

Narrator: Yo, wuz crackalackin', biatch? Yo ass is smokin Dirtnap Weapon Meista Academy. Mo' commonly known as tha DWMA. Well shiiiit, it standz as a thugged-out defense against tha forcez of evil, which would plunge tha ghetto tha fuck into chaos n' drag humanitizzle ta tha straight-up depthz of fear n' madness. Da demons known as Kishin n' they insatiable hunger fo' destruction. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. To ensure tha Kishin never regain they hold on dis ghetto, dis academy was dropped by tha Grim Reaper, Dirtnap his dirty ass.

Lord Death: So basically, we a organization dat exists ta protect n' preserve peace. I guess it aint exactly a typical school. Oh well, dat aint blingin. For now, letz roll up our sleeves n' git ta work!

Al Capone: Any trash whoz ass opposes me must be eliminated, I mean immediately. Yo ass know?

Black Star: Tsubaki...the head of tha table. Dat punk tha target?

Tsubaki: Yes yes y'all. We afta Alcapone, along wit his thugged-out associates fo' realz. On some hundred souls up in all.

Black Star: A hundred versus mah dirty ass... What I like.

Tsubaki: Black Star. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Those is Kishin souls down there, ones who've strayed up onto tha path of evil. We gotta reclaim dem all fo' realz. Assassinz rule number one: silence. Dissolve up in tha darknizz n' erase yo' breath. Wait fo' a openin ta battle yo' target.

Black Star: Assassinz rule number two: transpositionizzle thankin fo' realz. Analyze tha target up in order ta predict his cold-ass thoughts n' movements fo' realz. Assassinz rule number three: speed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Take up tha target before tha target notices yo' presence. Letz go. [yelling]

Mobsters: Huh?

Black Star: Hm. I be tha pimped out assassin Black Star playa! And I've come here ta assassinizzle you all! Yahoo! Kay, thatz all fo' now, nahmeean, biatch?

Tsubaki: Excuse me biaaatch! I aint a microphone, I be a cold-ass lil chain scythe biaaatch! A weapon! Yo ass don't KNOW assassination, do yo slick ass?!

Mobster 1: Who're yo slick ass?

Mobster 2: Lose Tha Game biaaatch!

Black Star and Tsubaki: Ahhhhhhhh!

Black Star: I believe we should retreat fo' a sec', Tsubaki! (Note: I can't straight-up KNOW what tha fuck da perved-out muthafucka saying) Yahoo!

Tsubaki: It aint nuthin but always tha same ol' dirty thang wit you, nahmean biiiatch?

Black Star: Smoke bomb mode, Tsubaki!

Tsubaki: 'Kay!

Black Star: There you go!

Mobster 3: Were dem two ninjas, biatch?

Mobster 4: Don Al Capone.

Al Capone: Yeah, what tha fuck is it?

Mobster 4: We've been able ta locate tha witch.

Al Capone: [chuckles] Once we git dis witchz power, tha crew will become invincible. Yo ass know dat shit.

Black Star: Yahoo! Our thugged-out asses had a phat stage todizzle. It make me wanna hollar playa! Sometimes I be such a funky-ass big-ass star, I almost can't handle dat shit.

Tsubaki: Great stage or not, we still aint collected a single ass thatz become a Kishin egg. Yo ass be actin mo' like a gangbangin' fallin star.

Black Star: Usin astronomizzle word play ta insult me son, biatch? Yo ass shouldn't use such a lil joke on a funky-ass big-ass muthafucka.

Tsubaki: Of course. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sorry bout dis shit.

Black Star: But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat cuz I be tha bigger playa here, I won't hold one skanky joke against yo thugged-out ass. I be bout ta merely take it as a sign of yo' innocence fo' realz. And do you know how tha fuck I be bout ta respond ta any mo' of these lil jokez of yours, Tsubaki, biatch?

Tsubaki: Mm-mmm.

Black Star: By bustin a funky-ass big-ass joke of mah own. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. You'll laugh so much, you gonna be tha fallin star playa!

Tsubaki: That wasn't a funky-ass big-ass joke...

Black Star: Git it, biatch? 'Cus you gonna laugh so hard you fall down, biatch? [laughs]

Tsubaki: Oh fo'sho, I can barely stand up. [laughs]

Black Star: Yahooo!

Tsubaki: Any mo' of dis n' I won't tha dignitizzle left ta grill Lord Dirtnap.

Tsubaki: I wonder if there be any phat missions fo' our asses up there...

Black Star: What is you rappin' about, biatch? We already have one. We still gotta take down Capone n' his cold-ass thugs.

Tsubaki: We on a lil' bit of a losin streak up in dis biatch, Black Star. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Maybe we should be thinkin bout takin on a easier mission.

Soul: Yo! Looks like you two screwed up again n' again n' again last night, huh?

Black Star: I don't give a fuck what tha fuck you rappin' about. Dat shiznit was phat biaaatch! I was tha freshest star up in tha whole room yesterday!

Maka: I be shizzle dat shiznit was a pimped out show Black Star yo, but shouldn't you be worryin bout collectin some Kishin souls?

Black Star: Yeah, I guess I forgot dis shit. [laughs]

Tsubaki: What bout you two, biatch? How tha fuck have you been bustin lately?

Soul: Please don't ask.

Maka: Yeah, itz too wack ta be thinkin bout n' aint a thugged-out damn thang dat yo' ass can do.

PA: Meista Black Star n' Tsubaki from Class Crescent Moon, please report immediately ta tha Dirtnap Room. I repeat--

Black Star: Us, biatch? What for?

Lord Death: Yeah, yeah yo. Wuz crackalackin' hello, you two. I heard you failed up in tha assassination of Don Al Capone last night.

Tsubaki: We straight-up sorry bout dat bullshit.

Black Star: Don't worry, boss. Ya Mom shoulda told ya, I gots it under control. I be goin ta turn Tsubaki tha fuck into a Dirtnap Scythe any dizzle now, I be shizzle of dat shiznit son! Until then, why don't you take dis copy of mah autograph! [chuckles] Like it, biatch? Even betta than a Dirtnap Scythe, huh?

Tsubaki: Again, I be straight-up sorry bout dat bullshit.

Lord Death: Da problem wit you two aint skill, you've gots dis shit. But you don't seem ta take tha mission seriously enough.

Tsbuaki: Y-yes.

Lord Death: I had intended ta observe yo' work over a longer period of time without interferin yo, but it seems our crazy asses gotz a problem on our hands.

Tsubaki: A problem, biatch?

Lord Death: Al Capone has targeted a witch, n' he n' his henchmen have already mobilized. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!

Black Star: What?!

Lord Death: Da witch dat they've set they sights on is named Angela, n' her big-ass booty seems ta git a straight-up bangin guardian protectin her n' shit. If Capone be able ta defeat his ass n' obtain tha juice of Witch Angelaz ass... thangs could git skanky.

Black Star: Wait a sec, so if I beat Al Capone n' tha witch both... Letz peep here, ninety-nine Kishin souls plus one witch ass... I can make Tsubaki a Dirtnap Scythe right there just like dat son! Well, dat settlez dat shiznit son! Come on, letz hurry up n' git going!

Tsubaki: Wait, Black Star!

Lord Death: Therez also suttin' tha two of y'all should know bout tha witch Angela... Oh, hey dawwwwg! They never listen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Black Star: Ya hoo!

Tsubaki: Wait fo' me, Black Star!

Black Star: What tha fuck iz it?

Tsubaki: We can't even succeed on a regular mission. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We bout ta never be able ta win against a witch.

Black Star: Why not, biatch?

Tsubaki: Just trust me on all dis bullshit fo' realz. Anyway, we can't just rush tha fuck into dis like we normally do. We need ta come up wit a plan.

Maka: Jeez... Tsubaki could probably partner up wit mah playas dat biiiiatch wanted to, so why him, biatch?

Soul: Black Starz kind of a idiot yo, but he gots guts, n' you can put dat on yo' toast. Dat punk not as much of a jerk as da perved-out muthafucka seems. I be shizzle Tsubaki knows dat by now, nahmeean?

Maka: Yeah. That may be why they work.

Soul: Well, anyway, we should git goin like a muthafucka. We still have ninety-nine Kishin souls ta collect n' a witch ta defeat. Thatz a long-ass way ta bounce tha fuck out.

Maka: Yeah.

Sun: [laughs]

Monster: Therez a witch livin inside dis castle, boss.

Al Capone: And afta we capture her soul, mah crew is ghon be tha strongest. Ya know?

Henchman: Don Al Capone.

Mifune: So, Al Capone. What could possibly brang a gangbangin' finger-lickin' dirty mob boss like yo ass ta dis castle, biatch? And if I don't like yo' answer, you take a thugged-out dirt nap.

Al Capone: Well, what tha fuck do you know, a tough muthafucka. Bust a cap up in his muthafuckin ass.

Tsubaki: We can't even succeed on a regular mission. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. We bout ta never be able ta win against a witch.

Black Star: Stupid Tsubaki yo. How tha fuck could her big-ass booty say that, biatch? I couldn't give a fuckin shiznit if it aint nuthin but a witch we afta n' shit. It aint nuthin but a strutt up in tha park. Takin one of mah thugss ass be almost too easy as fuck fo' mah dirty ass. I be bout ta sneak up on Tsubaki n' show her how tha fuck big-ass of a assassin I am fo' realz. Assassinz rule number one: silence. Dissolve up in tha darknizz n' erase yo' breath. Wait fo' a openin ta battle yo' target fo' realz. Ahhhhhhhh!

Black Star: Ahhhhhhhh!

Tsbuaki: Silence means approachin on tha fuckin' down-lowly. If you tryin ta be a assassin, you gotta learn shut tha fuck up! Oh, did I do that, biatch?

Black Star: Dyin now, nahmeean?.. My fuckin breath is ghon be erased, aiiight, biatch?

Tsubaki: Okay.

Black Star: Hya hoo! Where is you witch, biatch? It aint nuthin but time ta die!

Tsubaki: Hold on a second, Black Star. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Did yo dirty ass come up wit a plan fo' defeatin Witch Angela?

Black Star: Of course I did, n' it begins wit me bustin a funky-ass big-ass entrance!

Tsubaki: Yeah, I git dat shit. Obviously you did not come up wit a plan fo' us.

Black Star: Don't worry Tsubaki. Okay, biatch? I be straight-up goin ta turn you tha fuck into a Dirtnap Scythe, n' a phat one biaaatch! Trust me on dis shit.

Tsubaki: I know you will.

Black Star: Wonder what tha fuck happened here.

Mifune: This dayz turnin up ta be a lil' bit buggin.

Black Star: These eggs...there must be a hundred Kishin souls floatin round here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Is you responsible fo' all of this?

Mifune: Did yo dirty ass come here hopin ta collect tha witch Angelaz soul?

Black Star: Is you incredibly strong, biatch? I hope yo ass is, cuz I be goin ta beat you up in a funky-ass bigger way than you could imagine biaaatch! Betta git ready, cuz we goin ta duel.

Mifune: Hoes call me Mifune. I be a guardian of tha witch Angela.

Black Star: Hoes call me Black Star. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I be bout ta surpass tha juice of tha gods.

Mifune: I prefer only ta bust a cap up in when necessary, so leave dis place n' stay away from Angela.

Black Star: Tsubaki.

Tsubaki: Right.

Mifune: So then...yo ass be a weapon meista n' shit.

Black Star: Compared ta a playa as big-ass as me, you realize how tha fuck lil' small-ass yo ass is, don't yo slick ass, biatch? I KNOW how tha fuck you feel. Even I can be frightened by mah own pimped outness, so I find it hard as fuck ta stand up in front of mirrors.

Mifune: Infinite Sword Attack.

Black Star: This is...!

Tsubaki: Yo ass need ta be careful, Black Star.

Mifune: If you still refuse ta retreat then...die!

Black Star: If you straight-up wanna bust a cap up in me, you goin ta need a shitload mo' than all dem fancy flyin swords. I be bout ta take that!

Mifune: Yo crazy-ass weaponz strength has saved yo thugged-out ass. If dis was a regular chain, it would have fucked up already. This is yo' last warning. Keep yo' distizzle from here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. If I gotta bust a cap up in a kid, I be bout ta git nightmares.

Black Star: Yo ass bastard, you callin me a kid, is yo slick ass, biatch? Yo ass is wrong! Da lil playas I know is small. No wack kid can be a funky-ass big-ass a muthafucka as I am. Tsubaki! Transform! Shuriken mode biaaatch! Do you know what tha fuck would make you a much smalla dude, Mifune, biatch? If I cut you tha fuck into four lil pieces muthafucka! Tsubaki, smoke bomb mode biaaatch! Go!

Tsubaki: Right!

Black Star: Yahoo! I gots you now!

Tsubaki: Idiot son! Why can't you learn ta be on tha fuckin' down-low, biatch? Yo ass blew it Black Star playa! Oh shiiiiiiiit, he gots hit!

Mifune: Such a gangbangin' fool...

Tsubaki: No! Dat punk not...

Black Star: Mifune, you a arrogant bastard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yo ass shouldn't use tha back of tha blade against a opponent so much bigger than yo ass is.

Mifune: Yo ass know what, kid, biatch? I be beginnin ta feel real sorry fo' dat weapon of yours. Da only reason dat you've survived dis fight fo' so long is her strength n' intelligence yo, but no matta how tha fuck phat a weapon may be itz wasted if a unskilled masta is wieldin dat shit. Yo ass is just a useless lil kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Can't you peep that?

Tsubaki: Yo ass is wack bout him! Sheezy Black Star be a lil bit...a lil bit careless sometimes yo, but if he straight-up tried I know his schmoooove ass could do dat shit.

Black Star: Mifune. It aint nuthin but yo' move. What now?

Mifune: I aint gots a agenda. I be only here ta protect Angela.

Black Star: Thatz not straight-up it though, is it, biatch? I know what tha fuck you tryin ta do, Mifune. I KNOW it real well. Yo ass wanna beat me ta make me look small, so dat you gonna step tha fuck up pimped outa by comparison. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. BUT I WON'T LET YOU GET AWAY WITH THAT! Yo ass can look high or low yo, but you won't find a funky-ass bigger muthafucka than me biaaatch! I be goin ta win dis battle biaaatch! Yo ass gots me son?!

Mifune: Thatz interestin yo. His eye color chizzled.

Black Star: Tsubaki, switch ta Ninja Blade mode.

Tsubaki: Alright.

Black Star: Mifune, I hope you ready. Now we fight fo' real.

Mifune: I won't be rockin tha back of tha blade dis time.

Black Star: Assassinz rule number one: silence. Dissolve up in tha darknizz n' erase yo' breath. Wait fo' a openin ta battle yo' target.

Assassinz rule number two: transpositionizzle thankin fo' realz. Analyze tha target up in order ta predict his cold-ass thoughts n' movements.

Mifune: Whatz happening, biatch? Is dis tha same ol' dirty brat from a minute ago?

Black Star: Assassinz rule number three...

Mifune: Impossible. I should be able ta hear his breath from here, so peek-a-boo, clear tha way, I be comin' thru fo'sho. Fuck dat shit, wait... I can here some faint breathing. But it can't be his... dis kid can't control anything.

Black Star: Speed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Before tha target notices yo' presence...

Mifune: Wait, I know whoz ass yo ass is!

Black Star: Take tha target up son!

Tsubaki: We call dis one tha Shadow Star. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.

Mifune: What?!

Black Star: Finishin Strike biaaatch! Black Star Big Wave biaaatch! I be tha star. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Yo ass lose. Yo ass didn't even peep me coming, did yo slick ass, biatch? Thatz tha third rule of bein a pimped out assassin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Mifune: So foolish.

Black Star: Don't blame yo ass. Yo ass never had a funky-ass bangin' at whoopin me, Like I holla'd, you'd need mo' than some fancy flyin swords. Tsubaki.

Tsubaki: Right.

Black Star: Wherez tha witch?

Angela: Quit dat shiznit son! No! Wack man! Don't hurt Mifune biaaatch!

Mifune: Fuck dat shit, Angela!

Angela: Dat punk mah guardian! I be a witch yo, but I be still just a lil kid so Mifune is protectin me biaaatch! So mister, please don't hurt mah Mifune biaaatch!

Black Star: This hoe is tha witch Angela, biatch?

Tsubaki: Black Star... Our thugged-out asses have tha scattered soulz of tha Al Capone gang n' a witch without magical juice right up in front of us. I don't give a fuck dat we'll eva gotz a cold-ass lil chizzle like dis again. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Black Star: Ahh... Okay but...

Angela: Jerk jerk jerk jerk jerk! Jerk!

Black Star: Ahhhhhhhhh! I be bout ta bust a cap up in you, you lil brat son!

Angela: Mifune biaaatch!

Mifune: Yo ass is free ta go ahead n' take mah game yo, but... if cappin' Angela is what tha fuck you want you want, Assassin... I swear on mah sword, I'ma defend her n' shit.

Tsubaki: What should our phat asses do, biatch?

Black Star: A guardian whoz ass baby sits a lil witch all day, biatch? Please, yo ass aint even worth tha effort. Letz go, Tsubaki.

Tsubaki: Right son!

Black Star: I mean straight-up, I can't bust a cap up in a kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Well shiiiit, it would give me nightmares.

Lord Death: Is you shizzle bout this, biatch?

Black Star: Yeah, I mean, it aint like I capped dem mah dirty ass.

Lord Death: It aint nuthin but not settin tha dopest example ta say dis yo, but you should take while tha takingz good!

Black Star: Nah, a funky-ass big-ass muthafucka like me don't need playas ta do his fuckin lil' dirty work fo' his muthafuckin ass... Isn't dat right, Tsubaki, biatch?

Tsubaki: Mm hmm!

Lord Death: Hmm, biatch? Hmm...

Black Star: Assassinz rule number one: silence. Dissolve up in tha darknizz n' erase yo' breath. Wait fo' a openin ta battle yo' target.

Tsbuaki: I holla'd at you silence means approachin on tha fuckin' down-lowly. Our future don't look straight-up promising...

Narrator: Dirtnap tha Kid. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Son of Lord Dirtnap, tha Grim Reaper n' shiznit fo' realz. A slick boy, wit nearly slick skill n' talent ta match.

Kid: Lupin... itz all over n' shit. Masta thief Lupin, yo' ass has become a Kishin egg. Well shiiiit, it is pure evil.

Kid, Liz, n' Patty: And now our crazy asses have come ta claim dat shiznit son!

Narrator: But tha Kid is obsessed wit perfection.

Kid: Just look Patty dawwwwg! Yo crazy-ass stizzle is off again! Da two of yo ass aint up in align!

Patty: Ohh! I be sorry, Kid!