Dr. Waehler said he decided to study never-married men because so little is known about what makes them tick. Psychologists have long held that men tend to marry "down," choosing women who are less educated and socially privileged than they are, while women choose men who are higher on the socioeconomic ladder. In this scheme, Dr. Waehler said, unmarried men are the bottom of the barrel while unmarried women are the cream of the crop.

In fact, he said, it is far more complicated. Although alcoholism, poverty, extreme passivity and mental illness are stereotypes that describe some bachelors, Dr. Waehler said, there are more complex reasons that many men do not get married. These include factors like innate personality traits and behavior learned from family members, said Dr. Waehler.

If men have not married by 40, he said, they are likely to remain single for the rest of their lives.

The study was a small, pilot effort to explore the psychological motivations of never-married men, Dr. Waehler said. He said he chose white men in an effort to minimize cultural differences. It remains to be seen whether the findings hold up in further studies, using a broader mix of people, he said. Afraid to Lose Control

In open-ended interviews, the men were free to talk about their attitudes and perceptions, beliefs, experiences and intentions.

Most of the men said they had had at least one serious relationship with a woman that included sex and a warm sense of companionship, Dr. Waehler said. Yet they were extremely uncomfortable in talking about sex, he said, and exhibited hesitancy and passivity about their sexuality. Asked why they ended the relationships, the men said that they were afraid of losing control over their sense of self-determination or self-directedness, he said.

The bachelors revealed deep fears about interpersonal relationships. Most did not seem to value or seek friendship, even with other men. Nevertheless, not one man said he was averse to the idea of getting married. Twenty-six of them had considered it in at least one past relationship, but only six had ever proposed. Two-thirds said they still thought they would eventually get married.