In an emotional revelation, Toadie from Neighbours, aka Toadfish, has opened up about his struggles with disassociating himself from his television character.

Toadie has become somewhat of a cult hero on Neighbours since his first appearance 17 years ago. Back then, his distinctive physical appearance was defined by a mullet that emitted a ferocious energy on par with a hungry, cornered street rat. These days, Toadie rocks an absolutely immoral goatee. While aesthetically challenging to the eyes of his viewers, Toadie’s lovable personality has won over their hearts. This bad-boy-next-door charm soon led to a widespread surge in popularity. However, therein lies his curse. Astrosexual sat down with the soap opera legend for a chat about the actor’s personal battles.

Thanks for sitting down with us today, we really appreciate your time, Toadie.

“Thanks for having me guys! And please, Toadie’s just my nickname on Neighbours.”

I apologise. Toadfish, what ar–

“No, once again, that’s just my nickname on the show.”

I thought Toadie was your nickname.

“It is.”

So Toadfish isn’t your full name?

“No it’s my full nickname.”

Well if Toadfish is also your nickname on the show then what’s your real name?

“Jarrod.”

Of course. Well, Jarrod, for you–

“(laughs) Are you serious? That’s not my real name.”

You just said Toadie was your nickname and Jarrod was your real name.

“Jarrod is my real name on Neighbours. I thought you meant my real name on Neighbours.”

So Jarrod is your fake real name on Neighbours?

“Yes, for Pete’s sake, are you serious?”

What’s your full name then?

“Jarrod Rebecchi.”

Our apologies, Mr Rebecchi.

“Stop calling me that. It’s just my real name on the show, but it’s fake. My real name is –”

I thought you just said it was Jarrod?

“Jarrod’s my real name on the fake show.”

Is it fake or real Toadie?

“It’s my real name on a fictional show. It’s what my grandmother calls me on the show, but my friends call me Toadie.”

Your friends in real life or on the show?

“On the show! Well both, you see that’s the problem.”

Okay, got it.

“Got it?”

Solved, so Jarrod is your name on the show and Toadie is your nickname also on the show and possibly in real life?

“No, look, I – mate, they’re both fake names.”

So let’s pretend you aren’t on the show anymore. What would people call you?

“Toadie, because that’s what everybody fucking knows me as! But it’s not my actual name!”

Mmm, so your real life nickname is also Toadie. Life imitating art.

“What? No.”

You’ve been on Neighbours since you were 16, so you’ve essentially grown up being the character. How similar are you to Toadie, Toadie?

“Mate, completely different. Look, I understand Toadie is a memorable character, and I’ve been on that show for a long time. But really, it’s just a show, and I’m a real person. I have a real name for Pete’s sake! I’m sick of it! Do you know what happens when you Wikipedia my character’s name? It’s longer than my real page! I’m fucking sick of this shit. It’s not my real name!”

Thanks for talking with us today, Toadfish Rebecchi.

“(cries) Thanks.”

Afterwards, Toadie refused to look me in the eye. Tears clearly began streaming down his face as he exited the room. A single gunshot was heard.