Etsy is a great place to look for gifts, if you want to buy something clever and also leave most of the creativity to someone else.

It's also a factory of of nightmares where you can purchase a custom video of a guy in Germany squirting mustard and ketchup on himself and rubbing it onto his belly while delivering a message to the people you claim to love.

See also: 10 Thoughts That Etsy Models Are Having Right Now

Giftial describes list the video as, "Just a creepy guy in underwear, who is willing to say anything you want on video, while rubbing his fat belly with mustard and ketchup." And that's exactly what it is.

You might think that this is not something anyone would ever part with $18.79+ to bring into this world, and your naivety is precious. Giftial has more than 200 sales, and most of them are thanks to Condiment Guy.

If you're still on the fence, browse a full portfolio of horrors to help you make the decision.

If none of the custom videos are to your liking, though, you can check out Giftial's less successful sister shop, YourNameOnBoobs, that will write your name on boobs.

Or, you know, you can just by a tote bag with a screen printed owl on it and call it a day.