How do you market the Affordable Care Act to Millennials? If you’ve got a good answer, tell the White House right away. It’s tried everything to get us to sign up for health insurance on the federal exchanges — and most of its attempts have been off-tune, off-putting, or just downright dumb.

The latest effort involves former NBA star Magic Johnson. Sorry: While Johnson commands respect for his athletic and personal achievements, he’s the not the best candidate to market anything to Millennials. He retired in 1991. Anyone under 23 never even saw him pick up a basketball.

So here’s marketing lesson No. 1: You’ve lost us when we have to Google your spokesman.

The Magic mishap isn’t the ObamaCare marketing team’s first mistake. There’s also the “Brosurance” debacle, a Web and print campaign that started in Colorado but went “national” for all the wrong reasons.

The ads depict Millennials as idiots and floozies. One ad shows college kids doing keg stands; another shows a couple about to hook up, with the tag: “Let’s hope he’s as easy to get as this birth control.”

That leads us to lesson No. 2: You’re doing it wrong when you validate adults’ perception that Millennials are moronic.

Other campaigns have been weird, sad or both. One print ad urged us to go to healthcare.gov by telling us that “Mom loves her comfy jeans.” So did that kid in college who played World of Warcraft, but he never made me want to buy health insurance. Then there’s the “pajama boy” campaign, which convinced anyone over 30 that Millennials are insufferable. And another ad targets women with a not-so-catchy tune sung by cats and dogs.

That’s marketing lesson No. 3: Cat songs aren’t the same as cat gifs. #icanhazrelevance?

To be fair, Millennials aren’t always laughing at the administration’s ads. Sometimes we’re laughing with them — when they feature celebrities and comedians who we’ve actually heard of, like Amy Poehler, Sarah Silverman or Will Ferrell.

But the real joke is on us. ObamaCare just isn’t a good deal for my generation.

The problems start with how much plans cost. Insurance rates have skyrocketed for Millennials since the exchanges opened in October. According to the Manhattan Institute, the average 27-year-old man is facing a 97 percent premium hike and the average 27-year old woman a 55 percent increase.

Sure, subsidies may make up part of the difference between what we’re paying now and what we paid before ObamaCare. But many of us would prefer the freedom to choose options outside the exchange system. It’s no coincidence that the latest Harvard poll shows that only 13 percent of Millennials “definitely” plan on buying an ObamaCare plan.

Millennials are also the least able to afford these increased costs. We’re already struggling with stratospheric levels of college debt that grow every year (with averages of $26,600 in 2011, $29,400 in 2012, and $35,200 in 2013). Nearly 16 percent of 18- to 29-year-olds can’t find meaningful employment. Clearly we need every penny we can get.

The administration has tried to downplay these costs with more lame marketing. Late last year, the Department of Health and Human Services launched an interactive campaign where Millennials could submit videos praising ObamaCare. The winning entry? The song “Forget about the Price Tag.”

That’s not something we can do. Saturday may be “National Youth Enrollment Day,” but the simple fact is that ObamaCare gives us little incentive to join its ranks.

That’s especially true for an event that’s held on a Saturday. If the Brosurance ads are accurate, we’re too busy dealing with the consequences of our poor decisions from Friday night. And it doesn’t help that healthcare.gov will be down for maintenance Saturday. Talk about a planning fail.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to finish reading Magic Johnson’s Wikipedia page.

David Pasch, 25, is the communications director at Generation Opportunity.