This story is the second in a series on the disruptive — and potentially damaging — impact of bulldozer parenting. The series also covers the K-12 years, the college experience, and the workplace.

Bulldozer parents crossing the line in high school sports have become such a major issue that schools are having a tougher time retaining coaches, leagues are seeing a decrease in referees — and the nation’s governing athletic organization is answering back.

“At this point, I think we can all agree that sometimes the parents are over the top,” said Larry White, executive director of the New Jersey State Interscholastic Athletic Association.

As a result, over the summer the National Federation of State High School Associations introduced a video to educate parents on how to handle the myriad of emotions they may experience while sitting in the stands watching their children play.

“The Parent Seat” is a six-minute, how-to-behave video that the federation encourages schools to show parents during preseason meetings.

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“We’ve had a lot of schools across the country embrace it,” said Dan Schuster, the federation's director of educational services, “because we all recognize that we really have to look at ourselves in the mirror when it comes to our behavior.”

Poor parental behavior at games includes berating coaches' decision-making and referees' calls, confronting them afterward in the parking lot, and contacting a school administrator to have a coach fired.

Parental involvement has increased so much this decade that Rich Hansen, president of the nation’s largest football-only league, the 112-team North Jersey Super Football Conference, says that working with them has become the job’s biggest challenge.

“Parental communication is probably the hardest part of this deal,” said Hansen, longtime football coach and athletic director at state powerhouse St. Peter’s Prep in Jersey City. “It’s probably the hardest part of coaching now.”

Wanted: Coaches who stick around

Overzealous parents are making it difficult to hire and hold on to coaches, according to athletic administrators in the region. They say that aggressive parents, while a relatively small group, are a primary cause for a higher job turnover rate among coaches.

For instance, in the North Jersey Interscholastic Conference, coaching openings have increased 40 to 50 percent over the past half-dozen years, said Stan Fryczynski, executive director of the 38-team league, made up of schools from Bergen, Passaic, Hudson and Morris counties.

“There’s been an unbelievable turnover in the last five or six years — unbelievable,” said Fryczynski, whose duties include posting job openings. “I just feel like I’m constantly putting up coaching jobs. There were a lot of other reasons why there were coaching turnovers, but you have to conclude the reason for some of them is, unfortunately, the discontent that takes place.”

Hansen agreed. “I would be inclined to believe that it’s probably a similar rate across the board for all sports in all leagues,” said the St. Peter's Prep athletic director, whose school is a member of the Hudson County Interscholastic Athletic League. “In all probability, the head coach [turnover] may not be as significant, but the assistant coach changes are probably closer to 40, 50 percent, for sure.”

Teaching coaches to deal with parents

How to deal with aggressive parents has become a more significant topic of discussion for coaches, said Frank Noppenberger, who runs seminars for coaches in the Garden State and is executive director of the 30-plus-team Greater Middlesex Conference.

“If you call any AD and say, ‘Give me your four worst parents ever,’ they’ve got them,” said Noppenberger, a former coach and athletic director at East Brunswick. “Everyone’s got their four, five parents and they say, ‘Man, alive, they just don’t get it.’ ”

Noppenberger said these are common questions he is asked by coaches: How do I deal with a parent that’s screaming on the sideline during a game? How do I deal with a player going over to their parent during a game, or at halftime, and talking to them instead of me?

“I think we all know people who have gotten out of the business because they just don’t feel they’re capable of, or want to deal with, parental intervention,” Hansen said. “And I don’t think it’s prevalent in one sport. I just think it’s prevalent in high school sports, period.”

Breaking the chain of command

Parents who choose to play politics make it especially difficult for coaches, athletic directors and principals. At virtually every school, if parents have an issue, they are supposed to schedule a meeting with the coach. If there is still a problem, parents should request to meet with the athletic director.

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Instead, a few parents will bypass the coach and athletic director and approach a higher-up, such as a member of the board of education.

“They’ll tell you that the parent who’s really out of sorts will completely circumvent that chain of command and will go immediately past the school superintendent and go to a board member that’s a next-door neighbor, or someone that they’ve helped or assisted, or just politically affiliated with,” Fryczynski said. “It becomes very dangerous.”

A single parent who plays politics can create a domino effect that can negatively affect not just one team, but an entire athletic program.

“Is it because one parent thinks that by being pushy and going to the board, or the president of the booster club, or any type of outside influence, that they feel that their kid got an advantage?” Noppenberger said. “Now the other parents think, ‘Well, if [that student's] parents are going to do that, I’m going to do that.’ So they copycat that, and the squeaky wheel gets the oil.”

Fryczynski recalls an episode in his league when a few parents took issue with a coach, and it ended up in front of the Board of Education — with the coach’s job on the line. Former players came to the coach's defense, and he returned to the sideline.

“Imagine the stress that it put on the coach and his staff and the kids on the team,” Fryczynski said. “This individual rode the storm out and stayed, but there are a lot of people who will say — and have said — ‘It just isn’t worth it,’ and they walk away.”

Louder parents equal fewer referees

Verbally abusive parents are contributing to a decrease in referees in North Jersey, said Carmine Picardo, a former athletic director who assigns officials for football games in the North Jersey Super Football Conference and North Jersey Interscholastic Conference.

“It definitely has an impact on officials in all sports, for sure,” Picardo said.

He said the number of candidates attending training classes for the northern chapter of the New Jersey Football Officials has dropped about 50 percent since the start of the decade, to under 20 per class.

“By and large, the great majority of parents who come to games act appropriately,” Picardo said. “They’re there with their child and have a good experience. But, unfortunately, there are a few, and the few make enough noise to make things difficult for everyone, not just officials.”

Introducing ‘The Parent Seat’

Thus, the video called “The Parent Seat.” It had been viewed on the National Federation of State High School Associations site more than 10,000 times through late August, Schuster said, and downloaded more than 1,200 times since it debuted in July.

The video's narrator begins by telling viewers, “In this seat, the pressure is high.” The video underscores the “many feelings and emotions” parents will face rooting for their child, such as “sheer joy” and “utter disappointment.”

"The National Federation has always been known for sportsmanship," said Sharon Hughes, executive director of the 41-team Big North Conference. "That's the most important thing when you're dealing with high school sports, because they're just not getting the best role models when they watch TV."

The video offers parents 10 suggestions on how to deal with a game situation. One is “The 24-Hour Rule.” The narrator says, “If you ever feel compelled to confront a coach, take some time to collect your thoughts and allow your emotions to settle before you do. If after 24 hours you still feel compelled to address an issue, call and schedule an appointment.”

“We’re trying something new, and we really stand behind the message," Schuster said. “And if this is going to be an extension of the classroom, and we believe it is, and what educators believe it is, here’s some of the things we want you to know as a sport parent.”