The convict koala in the back of the police wagon. [photo: Facebook]

Like '50s juvenile delinquents, pulling up to your front garden on motorbikes and plying your adolescent children with cigarettes and rock 'n' roll, criminal koalas are terrorising Campbelltown, at least according to the best police report you'll probably ever read.

As recounted in this pretty excellent Facebook post by the NSW Police Force, a koala was taken into custody in Campbelltown over the weekend, after failing to adhere to a 'move along' order from state police. The marsupial was detained by Senior Constable Barry from the Police Dog Unit around 2am on Sunday morning, after it was spotted dangerously running in and out of traffic.

"SC Barry had to issue a move along direction to the koala for hindering traffic," says the police report. "After numerous warnings were issued, the koala failed to comply. A short foot pursuit occurred and the koala was eventually arrested and placed for safety in a police vehicle."

After an intense interrogation (hopefully), Convict Koala was set free... mainly because it would've looked way too adorable in a striped jumpsuit.


"Police then consulted with RSPCA, who advised the koala should be released in a suitable location, away from the Campbelltown traffic," the post continues. "The koala was last seen decamping from the police vehicle, leaving the handcuffs behind."

Lock your doors, hide your eucalyptus.

Source: Facebook