One day Jane found her boy in his room sobbing over his homework. This was unlike him. He was hard working and school had been relatively easy for him. His reading was right on track. He was even ahead of the rest of his class. He completed his reading assignments faster than other students and excelled in comprehension tests. He was 6.

She asked him what was wrong.

He said he was stupid.

He said he had forgotten how to read and he was going to get a bad grade on his homework assignment.

He sobbed “I’ve been trying to read the first page for an hour now! I can’t figure it out!”

She picked up the assignment and found the first act of Hamlet. She consoled her son to the best of her ability and went to the school the next day to find out what this was all about. The teacher looked at her flatly and said, “I don’t see what the big deal is. He can clearly read. The principles of phonics don’t change with the material. He should be able to figure this out.”

In another town, a young girl is learning to ride a bicycle. She’s been riding without training wheels for a few weeks now and is just growing in confidence. Her dad, being proud of her takes her to a pro-level mountain bike trail and sends her down a steep narrow hill. Thankfully, she doesn’t hurt herself too badly, but he is confused. He explains to his friends later, “I don’t understand it, she’s really good at riding on the street!”

Of course these stories are fiction (I hope) but they illustrate a point.

Recently a woman saw me for a consultation about her dog. She described her walks. She lives in a busy neighborhood so every time she takes the dog out strangers are passing by wanting to pet the dog who is extremely excited to see other people. She asked me what she should do. I suggested that the dog needs to practice calm outside so she should maybe try walking the dog very early, before people come out, or very late, after they go in. She said, “But that’s not real life.”

That is a true statement. It’s not real life.

But that wasn’t the point.

She is on a learning curve. The dog is on a learning curve. Neither is particularly skilled in their end of a nice walk. The dog has never practiced being calm outside with mom, and mom has no experience in helping the dog be calm.

Dog owners are often in a hurry to see results. That makes sense. Most people don’t call the dog training until they are frustrated, tired and have run out of ideas. They are often at their wit’s end.

I get that.

But the truth is, there are very few quick fixes to long practiced habits.

Pushing yourself, or your dog faster than your combined skill set allows will only lead to more frustration and frustration leads to slower progress.

I explained to my client that she and her dog needed time to become a team in an environment where team work was relatively easy to achieve. Then, as they both become more in tune with each other and become more fluent in their roles together, they can begin to test themselves against more difficult situations. This seemed to makes sense to her. I hope it makes sense to you.

Like the two fictional children I opened with, being able to do something well, and being able to do it well under tough conditions are not the same thing. Excellence in anything must be cultivated.

A little patience and a lot of practice will help you solve just about any dog problem you might have.