WELCOME to NRL clubland, where the more questions you ask, the less you know.

At the end of 2012 the Canterbury-Bankstown Bulldogs went close to winning a Grand Final. They had been Minor Premiers, scoring 568 points. They played an innovative, entertaining brand of football only to be outsmarted by a master coach and a team led by three probable Immortals.

Five years later they missed the eight, scoring 360 points — the fewest in the league.

So, as we begin the 2018 season, Canterbury have a new captain, coach, CEO and board. There have been few clean-outs quite like it.

What the hell happened?

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It was September 15, 2013. I was at ANZ Stadium with several former Bulldogs players, some still in the club’s employ. They were shaking their heads as Newcastle, coached by Wayne Bennett, ended the Bulldogs’ season in the first week of the finals.

“Saw this coming a mile off,” said one former player.

Hang on a minute … in Des we trust! It’s on a bloody T-shirt from last year’s Grand Final.

The old dogs thought team tactics were stagnating. Worse, they said, retention and recruitment were stagnating. They questioned the enormous cost of the football program, which had fed the professor’s scientific indulgence.

Midway through that season the man who brought him to Canterbury, Todd Greenberg, had moved over to the NRL and Raelene Castle was appointed CEO. Castle had a fine CV and an impressive attitude. Like Greenberg, she was destined for bigger things.

But this was a footy club, and not just any footy club. This was Canterbury, and things were curiously poised.

Todd Greenberg brought Des Hasler to the Bulldogs.

One thing Castle did know is that footy clubs have more KPI’s than they can ever manage. They have to entertain like Lady Gaga, govern like Abraham Lincoln, portray the image of Mother Teresa, profit like Apple and win like the All Blacks.

Governments, corporations, even high school classrooms can be easier to manage.

The worst thing? No matter what you read or who you listen to, you’ll never really know who to blame when it all goes wrong.

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And it did. In the years since, fans and commentators grew increasingly puzzled. It was like Des had built a tractor to compete in Formula 1. There he was, standing proudly in the garage, flanked by Ferraris and Mercedes, telling everyone what a fine tractor he had.

But Des, it’s a tractor.

There was no better tractor in pit lane. “We just need to keep working on it,” he said.

Complicating this was the Bulldogs extraordinary fight through to the 2014 Grand Final. Everyone knew they were simply there to facilitate the narrative: Souths’ return to premiership glory. There were knowing looks from Bulldogs connections all through the preceding week. How did we even get here?

Heck, they even let ‘em ring that bloody bell…

2014 proved one thing: Des sure could galvanise a team. They did great things through sheer guts and will, but it masked a continuing decline. Captain Michael Ennis hinted at it when he subsequently left for Cronulla where his rediscovered creativity helped make history.

Michael Ennis was at his best at the Sharks.

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As a team of likeable young blokes entered each season talking it up, we saw little change. Fans started to bombard “The Kennel” website. Commentators struggled to find answers. Some pundits said “Hang on. Des has led the Bulldogs to every finals series! Look at his record at Manly!”

It wasn’t about records. Footy clubs are about next week.

Few teams had copped such resounding, repeated, unanimous criticism over successive seasons without apparent attempts to reinvent. Was the Professor addicted to Moneyball? Were the players really so focused on statistical benchmarks and preordained field position that they lost sight of what was in front of them?

That wasn’t the only complaint.

Club stalwarts felt like the team had been isolated from Bulldogs culture and, style and strategy aside, there seemed to be no broader progression — via youth development or the market.

Look at Melbourne. Like a great white shark, you can see the new teeth emerging as the old ones fall away. Even losing teams can look like they’re going somewhere.

Somewhere along the line, Ray Dib lost his way as Bulldogs chairman.

The only obvious change at Canterbury had been a demand for Des to contain costs and reshuffle his support staff, some of whom were bemused at how stubborn he had become.

To sacrifice Des though, is unfair. Someone signed off on the garage, tractor and spare parts. Someone had to have set guidelines on how the coach operates within those many and varied KPIs. They wanted the All Blacks but overlooked the fact that Des didn’t care much for Lady Gaga.

You might also say the CEO and chairman, in an effort to exercise their legitimate powers, made calls he didn’t approve of.

There is no doubt his tenure evolved into a three-way struggle over all kinds of operational issues. Just who made those bad calls and when, depends on who you talk to. I’ve heard at least three different versions of each back-ended contract bungle, renegotiation collapse or recruitment failure.

All Raelene Castle would admit, as she ascended to Rugby Australia’s throne, was that Des was a “strong personality” and the experience helped her understand the “unique” Australian sporting landscape.

Now there’s a comprehension test for the next HSC.

One thing was painfully clear, at least painful for Ray Dib: he refused to blame anyone. He went down with the ship.

New chair Lynne Anderson says Des was shown a lack of respect. Well, she is now responsible for settling his $2 million damages claim. She was dead right, however, to use his farcical re-signing and sacking as a campaign strategy.

***

Something in my cynical nature wants to see Des Hasler coaching another NRL club. It would be like a “control” in some vast football experiment. He still has an exceptional record. Anyone?

Meanwhile, players are saying new coach Dean Pay is making it “fun” again at Belmore.

But they all say that when a new coach arrives, right after the bit about being “flogged” in pre-season.

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