Features “I Wanna Sleep With Common Dinosaurs” Jul 5, 2012 - Posted by Jeremy Wordsworth

Mr Wordsworth says, “Hello, I am not sure if you got the first story I sent you, please let me know and I can send again, in the mean time, I have uncovered another true story, can you please advise me as to when you intend to publish. Many thanks, J. W.”

Right now Jeremy, right now.

Jarvis Cocker was not entirely sure he could hold out much longer. He was out on a visit to a car manufacturing plant with the tyrannosaur in an attempt to show the public that dinosaurs and humans could have a loving relationship. Even after 11 months, it was all too easy to think of it as a beautiful dream. Although he had no idea how he could possibly forget the tyrannosaur’s involvement…

Over the last 11 months Jarvis and the tyrannosaur had become very close. At first they became friends, which Jarvis was all too happy with, but gradually the minor flirtations and gentle touches had become more charged until they’d finally given in to temptation and had sex, just to get it out of our systems, Jarvis remembered with a wry smile. Of course this hadn’t worked, and they continued to take whatever snatched moments of pleasure they could find, but had agreed to be professional, and especially in front of cameras, or so Jarvis had thought.

Unfortunately, today, the tyrannosaur was not being the good companion that Jarvis had hoped he would be. In fact, from the second he had stepped into Jarvis’s office this morning, he had been distinctly the opposite. Jarvis tried to look interested in the magnificent cars in front of him, but he could only remember the feel of the tyrannosaur pushing him up against his office door, the taste of their tongues locked in battle in each other’s mouths, the sound of their combined moans, and most of all the feel of the tyrannosaur’s erection pushing forcefully against his hip. Jarvis had regretfully had to push the tyrannosaur away from him; they’d had to leave almost immediately afterwards, and as he smiled at the man talking about the process of making car windows, he was really thinking about how he and the dinosaur had had to strategically place their briefcases so as not to alert the press to their…condition as they faced the world’s media.

The journey was not made easy either. Despite being in separate cars, the tyrannosaur still managed to tease Jarvis by messaging him with details of all the things he would like to have done in Jarvis’s office that morning. With thoughts of the tyrannosaur’s mouth wrapped around his cock, and the tyrannosaur sprawled naked on his sofa, Jarvis had gotten so flushed that the driver had had to ask whether he should put the air conditioning on. In the end, Jarvis had just ignored the tyrannosaur’s messages in a desperate attempt to calm himself down, but on seeing the tyrannosaur’s smile as he got out of the other car at the end of the journey; he knew that the tyrannosaur was not going to let him get off so easily.

Jarvis was right. The moment that he stepped out of his car, the tyrannosaur was at his side, shaking his hand and touching his arm like he hadn’t seen him in days. The touches continued throughout the tour – a touch on the arm under the guise of focusing Jarvis’s attention on something, a firm touch on his back under the guise of moving him in a certain direction, and all the while meant to drive Jarvis crazy. Jarvis was dreading seeing the pictures from this visit, let alone the news footage. He was certain that the cameras would pick up the fact that he wasn’t really listening to anything that anyone was saying. All he was focused on was that mischievous look in the tyrannosaur’s eye, the way the tyrannosaur’s tongue ran along his bottom lip, the tyrannosaur’s hands as he gestured enthusiastically around the room… All Jarvis wanted to do was pull the tyrannosaur aside and have sex with him. Now.

Finally, when the two men had been left to wander around on their own for a bit, Jarvis had his chance. He opened a side door to an empty room and pulled the tyrannosaur inside, closing the door and pushing a chair up and under the handle to prevent it from being opened on the other side.

Jarvis pushed the tyrannosaur back against the wall and kissed him so passionately that he was sure that the tyrannosaur’s returning moan would be heard in the corridor outside. “Are you sure we should do this here Jarvis?” the tyrannosaur asked. “Isn’t it a bit dangerous?”

Jarvis laughed, “After all the teasing you’ve done to me today, do you really think I would waste this amazing opportunity? You’ve been driving me crazy, I need to come, now.” He moved his hands over the tyrannosaur’s erection, “And by the looks of things, you do too.”

The tyrannosaur smiled and turned around so Jarvis was up against the wall. He kissed Jarvis forcefully while unzipping him and moving his hand inside Jarvis’s trousers to pull out his throbbing erection. Jarvis gasped at the tyrannosaur’s warm touch and moaned loudly when the tyrannosaur started to stroke him gently. “Shhhhhh” the tyrannosaur warned, “someone might hear us, and the last thing we need is to be interrupted.” the tyrannosaur stopped kissing Jarvis, and got to his knees in front of him.

The tyrannosaur undid Jarvis’s belt and pulled down Jarvis’s trousers and underwear. They fell to the floor softly, Jarvis’s phone bouncing out of the pocket and clattering onto the floor. The tyrannosaur moved to pick it up but Jarvis stopped him with a touch to his head. “Please”, Jarvis implored, “I need to feel your mouth on me now…”

********************************************************************

The velociraptor was in his office going through his finances for the millionth time when his mobile rang. Great, just what did Jarvis want now , he wondered. Looking at the flashing screen, he cursed the day he’d met Jarvis Cocker. Jarvis was charming, intelligent, witty, godfather to his children, and, if the velociraptor was being really honest, an incredibly attractive man. The velociraptor had wished many times over the years that he had the courage, even once to admit to Jarvis his true feelings for him, but now it was far too late. They were both married, and even though the velociraptor knew that Jarvis had had sex with dinosaurs before, he also knew that Jarvis would never be crazy enough to risk his career for a quick fuck with a velociraptor. Not only that, but Jarvis was one of his oldest and dearest friends, who currently was constantly on his case. The velociraptor sighed heavily supposing that really, he should pick up the phone. He certainly didn’t want to face Jarvis’s wrath for not answering when he got back later.

He clicked the button on his BlackBerry and held it to his ear. “Hello,” he tried to sound bright, but was confused when he heard nothing but muffled sighing. “Hello?” he tried again, this time louder. He shook his head and was about to hang up when he heard Jarvis’s voice sounding unlike the velociraptor had ever heard it before, sounding… desperate.“I need to feel your mouth on me now…” the velociraptor nearly dropped the phone in his amazement. Could he actually be hearing this? He contemplated hanging up, realising he was intruding on an incredibly personal moment when he heard someone say “Sorry Jarvis, what is it that you need me to do for you?”

The tyrannosaur! the velociraptor realised. He suddenly felt so stupid for all his objections to telling Jarvis about his feelings. Clearly Cocker was crazy enough to risk his career and marriage for a quick fuck, but the velociraptor had never been brave enough to ask. It was bad enough knowing that Jarvis was screwing John Hammond on a regular basis but to know that the tyrannosaur got to be with Jarvis in this way was almost too much for him to bear. He nearly clicked off his phone when he heard Jarvis moan again. “I need your mouth on me, tyrannosaur, I need you to make me come, I can’t take much more of this, please…”

The velociraptor heard Jarvis’s very audible gasp and realised that the tyrannosaur had fulfilled his request. He also realised that hearing Jarvis speak like this was arousing him more than he’d been aroused for a long while. He looked down and saw his erection bulging. He glanced at the clock, 10 minutes until my next meeting. The velociraptor reached in to free his trapped cock before giving it a firm stroke. He moaned before pausing to look up at the door. It was unlocked, but everyone knew that the velociraptor was not to be disturbed while going over his papers. The velociraptor knew he may never get an opportunity like this again, and wasn’t about to waste it. He moved his hand back down, and continued stroking himself.

Jarvis gasped as the tyrannosaur’s tongue swirled around the head of his cock, licking the bead of precome that had formed at the tip. Jarvis’s hands were now firmly on the tyrannosaur’s head, his fingers intertwining letting the tyrannosaur know with gentle tugs when he was performing his duties correctly. The tyrannosaur grasped Jarvis’s cock at its base with one hand and lightly tugged on his balls with the other. He licked and sucked his way along Jarvis’s cock, making the most erotic noises as he slurped.

The velociraptor was disturbed when he realised that he suddenly couldn’t hear anything on the other side of the phone. He was also frustrated, but then, the voices returned.

“Tyrannosaur,” Jarvis moaned, “please don’t stop.” The tyrannosaur stood up and moved closer to Jarvis.

“I need to come too,” he replied, “and if we don’t come in the next couple of minutes, someone is sure to find us.” the tyrannosaur moved Jarvis’s hand around his cock before moving his hand back to Jarvis’s and smiling. Quickly, they got into a rhythm, both moaning and groaning into their kisses as their hands flew across each other’s erections.

The velociraptor could hear the slap of skin against skin, and the couples’ eager moans as they raced towards orgasm. He closed his eyes as he imagined it was Jarvis’s hand stroking him. His hands matched both the tyrannosaur’s and Jarvis’s, the sounds of his moans matching theirs, his writhing hips mimicking their movements from miles away, and as he bit down on his lip, letting out only a muffled “fuck”, the couple came over each other’s hands too. Knowing that Jarvis would soon pick up his phone, the velociraptor regretfully hung up, smiling ruefully and realising that he would never be able to look at Jarvis or the Tyrannosaurus in quite the same way again.

*******************************************************************

The tyrannosaur leaned down and reached for some tissues. “Ever the boy scout, always prepared,” Jarvis gently teased him as he took one.

“Hey, they seem to come in handy when you’re around.” the tyrannosaur smiled as he wiped his little hands. He moved closer to Jarvis and affectionately kissed him before sighing. “I suppose we should be getting on with the rest of our tour eh?”. The tyrannosaur turned to look at Jarvis, who was checking his body for signs of damage.

Jarvis saw the tyrannosaur’s look, “I’m sorry, I know you hate the damn thing, but how else am I going to run the country when I’m away? I need to keep on top of every situation. Actually, I should probably give the velociraptor a call, I think he’s a bit stressed.” Jarvis went to get his phone, but was interrupted by a deliciously lingering kiss from the tyrannosaurus.

The tyrannosaur pulled the phone out of Jarvis’s hands and placed it on the table. “I think you should wait until you’re dressed to start calling the velociraptor.” the tyrannosaur smiled. “Anyway, I have a proposition for you. Tonight, my house, you and m, twenty oysters and a tub of oil. OK? And it’ll be a mobile free zone, yes?” He grinned when he saw Jarvis’s nod and smile. “Besides,” he said intertwining his fingers with Jarvis’s, “Who could turn down the chance for some serious dino-loving?”

Jarvis turned to put his trousers back on. “You?” he teased. “Knowing you, you’d probably forget!” Jarvis laughed as the tyrannosaur playfully hit him and he put his hpone back in his pocket. He removed the chair from under the door handle and looked the tyrannosaur up and down. “You look impeccable,” he said with a sigh.

“Why thank you Jarvis Cocker, so do you,” the tyrannosaur returned with a broad smile.

Jarvis gave the tyrannosaur one last quick kiss before opening the door and walking into the corridor. He’d call the velociraptor later.