In true Cincinnati fashion, an unbelievably costly error led to the Bengals spending their first overall draft pick on burro. NFL Commissioner frantically glanced at his staff with a bewildered look as he saw the first overall pick sent via Zoom conference private message. Everyone expected the first pick to be a given, but a costly typo drastically changed the course of history. Roger Goodell tried to maintain composure, scrolling through his master spreadsheet unable to find any individual with the last name “Burro” listed in the declared players. After briefly turning off his Zoom video, causing mass confusion amongst commentators on live broadcasts, Goodell consulted with staff before returning with his team’s best guess at the Bengals pick.

“With the first overall pick of the 2020 NFL Draft, the Cincinnati Bengals select Blaster the Burro – mascot for the Colorado School of Mines.”

There were tears, donkeys across the country did nothing, Bengals fans across the country broke their TV screens. Zoom’s stock price plummeted, meanwhile teams in the AFC North celebrated at two more free wins next year. We were able to obtain this leaked screenshot directly from the NFL Draft Zoom chat room, clearly displaying the unfortunate spelling error made by the Bengals staff:

The Washington Redskins are now on the clock and all teams are scrambling as this Bengals miscue changes the entire face of the draft. Best of luck to the Burro heading to Cincinnati, and we’re thinking of all Bengals fans at this time right now. At least it’s not as bad as drafting David Carr first overall!