Books can never stand you up, or leave their clothes on the floor, or forget to get toilet paper EVEN WHEN YOU ASKED SO MANY TIMES, and that's why you can't go wrong spending Valentine's Day curled up with a story. Here are some books about love for every type of valentine.



For the hopeless romantic...

Undermajordomo Minor by Patrick DeWitt

This story begins like a more traditional fairy tale but turns into a strange tale about the darker side of unrequited love. The story culminates in one of the more bizarre love scenes in recent literary memory. This quirky tale is perfect for the hopeless romantic.

For those who think outside the box...

The First Bad Man by Miranda July

This is a kinky story about a lonely and strange middle-aged woman who, when she begins to live her sexual fantasies vicariously through another person, embarks on a journey into an exciting and violent relationship with a younger woman. July’s novel is a must-read for those willing to step outside their comfort and usual erogenous zones.

For the dark and twisted...

Bear by Marian Engel

This unconventional love story between a lonely librarian and a bear is one of a kind. Engel won the Governor’s General award for this beautifully written story of lust, loneliness and one woman’s erotic obsession with a forest friend. This book is recommended for the most twisted of valentines out there. You know who you are.

For the feminist who just wants to relax...

The Department of Speculation by Jenny Offil

It’s nothing new: Offil’s character is a writer, professor, a mother, a lover, a wife trying to balance it all — a balancing act that's familiar to most women. This novel reads like a poem and is ultimately about a woman's desire to create being stunted by the mundane reality of the relationships around her — professional and domestic. Offil’s exquisite musings are like a box of chocolates for the feminist brain that is constantly seeking to just be.

For the Valentine's Day hater...

The End of the Affair by Graham Greene

This timeless story about an adulterous affair that becomes obsessive and poisoned by jealousy. The perfect read for the jilted lover, or those who love a good heart-wrenching and don’t care about a happy ending.