I think Martha Stewart and I could be friends. We both like to cook, bake, craft, and learn. We are also both quasi-socialist, we love the color gray, sleep very little, and make dirty jokes.

What? Please tell me I am not the only person who watches Martha thinking “that woman knows how she sounds, she isn’t naive– she’s filthy– and I love it.

Today she was talking about properly cutting and placing big, thick, slabs of meat that are juicy and delicious. Her meat was the juiciest. There was INCHES of juice all over her board. I swear on Elmo, I saw a smirk. She was probably thinking “that woman in the front row looks as though she hasn’t had a delicious piece of meat in ages.” and then she internally chuckles.

Her daughter had a radio show on SiriusXM and was hysterical. She is pithy, witty, crass, and filthy. People say that the unintelligent go for the dirty joke. I say that the SUPER intelligent can make a dirty joke that no one sees coming. Although, there is something to be said for being a bit sophomoric at times. Like that time with your MOM!

Obviously, she’d be a major fan of baking 30 batches of cookies/sweets before Christmas. She may even bump it up to 60 or 90 batches. She has minions. Many, many minions.

Batch 7

White Chocolate Cranberry Cookies.

This could.not.be.simpler.

I used this tried and true sugar cookie recipe. My family does a rendition of this cookie and we call them “crack cookies”, not because they crackle, but because we’re willing to sell ourselves downtown to get a fix. I halved it, and added 1.5 cups of craisins and 1.5 cups of white chocolate chips. I refrigerated the dough and dropped it onto parchment lined sheets.

Do you watch Martha? love her? hate her?

Who is your favorite TV chef?

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