An argyle knit is an interesting fashion choice. Not if you are off to play actual golf, obviously. If you are playing actual golf then argyle is eye-rollingly literal. But I’m not off to play golf. In fact I have never played golf and have no interest in playing golf. Which is why I’m quite interested in an argyle sweater.

The history of the argyle sweater is, ahem, chequered. Grace Kelly, who loved a Pringle twinset, dabbled in knitted diamonds. Francis Begbie wore a sweater in Trainspotting. Cher Horowitz wore an argyle knit mini in Clueless. Most recently, Michael Shannon wears one in Knives Out, which would be a shoo-in for Best Dramatic Knitwear, if that was a Golden Globe. (It totally should be a Golden Globe, right?) From Hollywood to the football terraces and back again, the argyle has an eccentric history.

The way to wear the diamond pattern, right now, is straight up. Argyle was on the catwalk for Victoria Beckham, J W Anderson and Molly Goddard at the last London fashion week, and the recent Pringle collaboration was a major high street hit at H&M. The look is preppy, rather than subversive. At Victoria Beckham, a Kelly fitted argyle knit was worn with the collars and cuffs of a silk blouse visible beneath, teamed with a slinky long pencil skirt. Very much what Cher Horowitz might be wearing now, if she had grown up to become, like, CEO of Goop.

I am proposing the argyle for consideration at this point because, having convinced myself for much of the winter that a neutral rib sweater tucked into dark high-waisted trousers was very Shiv from Succession, especially with a gold necklace or two, I’m starting to bore myself when I look in the mirror. And sometimes, at this point in the year, I need a sweater that brings a little jazz hands to what I’m wearing.

A plain, dark sweater with plain, dark trousers demands that you add glamour with your jewellery, makeup or shoes; sometimes it is much simpler just to wear a jazzy sweater and pink trousers (these are my very own pink trousers and I really like them, thank you very much, so be careful what you say) and know that the jazziness is handled. Right now, diamonds that keep you warm are a girl’s best friend.

• Jess wears jumper, £55, oliverbonas.com. Trousers and heels, her own. Styling: Melanie Wilkinson. Hair and makeup: Sam Cooper using Living Proof and MAC Cosmetics