First off, this is a throwaway account.

Now, as I said, I have a few problems. I have a girlfriend that I care for very much as a person but just feel zero sexual attraction to (as I have with all women I have dated). She pretty much controls my life, I'm still in school because I got a late start since I joined the Army after HS, and she drives me around everywhere because I do not have a car, her family helps me pay for school without me asking or even accepting, they just do it.

Also, I live in Eastern Kentucky. I go to college in the town where Kim Davis' denied marriage licenses. I am terrified that if/when I come out that I'm throwing away my entire career. I have worked in Kentucky politics every since I got to school and I've made a name for myself, but this isn't a great place to be openly gay in politics and I know my ability to find work on future campaigns are likely to be defined by my sexuality.

Look, I know a lot of you have been putting up with worries like this your whole life. I should have been more honest with myself when I was 16, watching gay porn, and practically begging for someone to find out and out me, but because of where I am from and the fear of being gay in Appalachia I continued doing what good straight boys are supposed to. Now, I'm 26, finally comfortable with saying I'm gay, and so depressed that just killing myself would be easier than changing my entire life.

Thanks for letting get this off my chest /r/askgaybros, I hope I didn't break any rules.