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Oh God, and that's coming from me? Practically all I do is harp on the lack of atmosphere and quality storytelling in modern games, as though the entire "fun" aspect is tangential to the serious business of video games. If I seem to rant too much about the lack of story in games, it's only because I concede that games pretty much nailed the entertainment bit, and I think it's time for them to expand. So, yes, story is important, both to me personally, and to the overall growth of the entire medium. But sometimes, just sometimes: Fuck it.

If you follow the Saints Row series to find out where the story goes next, even the game itself kind of wants you to take a flying fuck at the moon. It's almost tradition that each new iteration of the Saints Row series abandons all that came before it. You can see it in the sequel numbering system alone. And Saints Row IV is no different: Within the first half-hour, you become President of the United States, get thrown into the attack scene from Independence Day, and then wake up in The Matrix. Those kinds of shenanigans aren't winning any points in the story category. As far as plot goes, it's wildly uncreative, flagrantly stolen, and almost total gibberish.

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But none of it matters, because the story is really only a thinly veiled excuse to introduce new gameplay mechanics. The alien stuff seems a bit out of left field, but it also means strange new vehicles, bizarre weapons, and epic set-pieces in outer space. The Matrix stuff is, to put it politely, two miles past the offramp to retarded - but so what? Because now you get Neo-style superpowers, can jump between wildly different "simulations," and have the ability materialize objects right where you stand. No more phoning in for vehicle delivery and waiting for the AI to crash your shiny new jet into a building trying to reach you. This is the Matrix, remember? It's all just data, so why not have it beam in right where you're standing?