Any song addressed to someone is a gift. The same gift will never work for the everyone, and even for two people it will work in different ways to them even if they both have positive effects. A lazy gift giver will buy all of their gifts from the same shop and wrap it in the same paper regardless of who they’re giving it to or what the present is. Alex Turner understands the differences between each gift, what he should wrap it in and who it would be for.

“Arabella’s got some interstellar-gator skin boots

And a helter skelter ’round her little finger and I ride it endlessly

She’s got a Barbarella silver swimsuit

And when she needs to shelter from reality she takes a dip in my daydreams”

-Arabella, Arctic Monkeys

Alex here has an intricately crafted present, fitted with all these complicated metaphors and a range of subtle imagery. Why? Because it matches the girl he is addressing, the amount of subtext in the song is a compliment to whoever he is writing it to! She is obviously someone who likes to think she has some depth to herself which is why there is depth in her description to match her personality. But of course her sense of style (well let’s face it those interstellar-gator skin boots probably didn’t come cheap) must mean the song cannot be bland. That is why it is decorated with colourful, catchy techniques such as alliteration. The tune is wrapped in rock and roll riffs for Arabella to unravel, not some plain bit of vinegar paper, so even before knowing what’s inside, she can’t wait to open it. From the melody, to the decorative content to the lyrical subtext, Alex has has the perfect hook, line and sinker.

But in his new album AM there is a slightly simpler gift which is in no way less effective:

(Ooh la la la la…)

You got those mad sounds in your ears to make you get up and dance

-Mad Sounds, Arctic Monkeys

Imagine giving a little girl a dildo or a teddy bear. It’s like giving her Arabella or Mad Sounds. While she might not understand the pure orgasmic pleasure of one, she will love and cherish the soft and just as intimate pleasure of the other. What’s a teddy bear good for? What can it do? (Then again what’s complex about a dildo? For arguments sake let’s make it a vibrator so at least it’s electronic) It might not have a lot of depth to what it can do but the warm and soft melody will accompany her to her sleep and as a child the simple repetition of “ooh la la la” will be all she needs to keep her entertained. Lazy Alex would give her sing her Arabella just because he couldn’t be arsed to give her anything else, no matter how beautifully crafted it is. He always knows the right gift for the right person, making him the most badass Santa in the world.

You might not ever see this, but this description of how amazing your lyrics are is my own personal gift to you. Happy 28th to one of my biggest lyrical and musical influences.

-The Reckless Rhythmist