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Senator Patrick Brazeau has broken his silence about his darkest hour — the night he slit his throat with a cleaver and started bleeding to death on the kitchen floor.

It was Jan. 18 and Brazeau had done his best to drink away his mess. But 12 Molson Export and a bottle of Scotch were no match for the tornado in his mind. Prosecutors had dropped a sex assault charge against him but his trials for fraud and impaired charges loomed. The suspended senator had never felt so alone, so broke. He had forgotten the pride and confidence that had propelled him to become a national aboriginal leader and later the country’s youngest senator. He could think only of the towering fall that had played out on the nightly news.

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His world had collapsed around him. Hope had faded and he thought he had no good reason to live.

“Everything just came to a tipping point. … I’m not proud of that moment, because I let a lot of people down,” Brazeau, 41, recalled.