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Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Welcome back Thelema After Tears, issue #3... how was your week?



Mine has been one of deep introspection, as several unexpected events happened all at once, leaving me frankly reeling from the blows of Fate.



And thus I found myself considering Death, and what it means in a Thelemic worldview, and if it's possible to try and communicate that experience outside the boundaries of Initiation. I will try to do so below, also as a way to exorcise the lingering fateful feeling and start to truly look towards the incoming Spring.

TAROT OF THE MONTH, MARCH 2020 e.v.

The Month of March 2020 e.v. will be ruled by The Hermit, and this month's deck is the beautiful Via Tarot by Susan Jameson. It was borne of a long enochian Operation during which the artist came in touch with a group of spirits calling themselves The Daughters of the Daughter of Fortitude, the latter being one of the names for Babalon herself. There are several concepts that one could attribute to this card: the Prophet of the Eternal. The Magus of the Voice of Power. The Yod Path, between Tiphareth and Chesed. It is ruled by Virgo. The Hermit suggests illumination from within: “The Khabs is in the Khu, not the Khu in the Khabs. Worship then the Khabs, and behold my light shed over you!” Liber AL vel Legis I:8-9 It promises withdrawal from mundane matters and admittance to the “Interior Castle” which is the human spirit. It also offers solitude and circumspection although care must be taken that this does not shade over into misanthropy and an inability to operate effectively in the plane of actions. Even the Hermit lives, in part, within the world and must be able to function accordingly.



The Hermit also represents the desire to turn away from a consumerist or materialistic society to focus on your inner world, and it often appears when you are at a pivotal point in your life and considering a new direction.



A more detailed reading of the Tarot of the Month is always found on my Patreon. For personal readings, see the end of this newsletter. WORK IN PROGRESS

FEBRUARY 2020 e.v. - In Conversation with Chris Shelton







APRIL 2020 e.v. - Penny Royal Podcast Podcasts are definitely the thing of times: Nathan Paul Isaac of the Penny Royal Podcast has reached out to know more about Wandering Bishops, and how Thelema ties into the whole Hellier story, and the Kentucky High Strangeness events that he himself witnessed and reported in Episode 8 of Season 2.

The Hellier Transmission deepens...



MARCH to SEPTEMBER 2020 e.v. - Sects, Drugs & Rock'n'Roll I have been invited to be one of the main consultants on this ambitious project: a documentary on the life and works of Aleister Crowley, without devolving it in the usual tropes of the "Demon Crowley".



Will we be able to do it? I admit it's not going to be easy, especially given how the vast majority of those even aware of his works, and thus Thelema, are only interested in the tabloid version of it.



In the meantime, It's done! Chris and I recorded a 2-hours podcast last week, trying to be as concise as possible while addressing such a massive topic, pinpointing the very real connections between Thelema and Scientology, the links from Crowley to Parsons to Hubbard, and likely discovering one element no one thought about before. Check out Chris' channel here : the podcast will go live in a couple of weeks, and I will be there commenting live as it premieres.Podcasts are definitely the thing of times: Nathan Paul Isaac of the Penny Royal Podcast has reached out to know more about Wandering Bishops, and how Thelema ties into the whole Hellier story, and the Kentucky High Strangeness events that he himself witnessed and reported in Episode 8 of Season 2.The Hellier Transmission deepens...I have been invited to be one of the main consultants on this ambitious project: a documentary on the life and works of Aleister Crowley, without devolving it in the usual tropes of the "Demon Crowley".Will we be able to do it? I admit it's not going to be easy, especially given how the vast majority of those even aware of his works, and thus Thelema, are only interested in the tabloid version of it.In the meantime, you can check progress on this project on its website THELEMIC THANATOLOGY





This means that, without any doubts whatsoever, I am fast reaching - or have I already reached, depending on who you ask - middle age.

I never thought I would make this far, to be very honest: living the life I lived in my 20s and till my mid-30s, between extreme hedonism and countless days and nights spent in clubs or in tour buses from a city to another, the safe bet would have been to see me shuffle this mortal coil way earlier.



But having somewhat steered away from that fateful meeting, at least yet, I have arrived at that point in life where Death becomes a more present figure in Life: over the past few years I lost many, some loved family relatives, some very close friends, some co-workers, some people you only met once or twice and you always told yourself you'd seem them again soon... but never did.



My experience is hardly unique, and yet as a Thelemite I should have a much different understanding of this experience than the average person in the street: should, because no matter what level of understanding one thinks to possess, it will still hit you like a ten-ton truck. It's how you recover from the trauma that makes the difference.



Now, many have written on this subject before, starting from Crowley himself, especially in two specific parts of the Thelemic corpus: the epistole



When even Aleister Crowley himself advises for caution and states he doesn't know the final truth of the matter, it's fair to say we are facing one the true Mysteries.



Analysing such Mystery, and borrowing from my friend and colleague IAO131, we quickly realise that the first difficulty in figuring out Thelema’s approach to death is that the term “death” is used in at least two ways: firstly, it refers to the physical death of the body and, secondly, it refers to the spiritual experience of the death of the sense of self which is called “Crossing the Abyss” in this system. We may see the distinction in many places, and Crowley himself often differentiates the two ideas such as when he writes, “The death of the individual is his awakening to the impersonal immortality of Hadit. This applies less to physical death than to the Crossing of the Abyss.”



Now this might make sense, or at least give an intellectual perspective upon which operate, to the Aspirant and to the Adept. But how do we explain this to the grieving son that just lost their parents? If Thelema has to be the blueprint for living in the New Aeon, we must learn to differentiate how we deliver our philosophy, ontology, and theology without pretending them to be Aspirants or Adepts, and still offer them a way to recover from the fundamental trauma of Life, which is indeed dealing with Death.



This is fundamentally what "outer courts of initiation", such as Freemasonry first and the Ordo Templi Orientis later, were set to do: trying to explain very advanced magico-mystical concept via allegory and symbols.



The famed Third Degree of both Freemasonry and O.T.O. deal indeed with Death, and passing through it is what gives one the title of Master: in the Masonic legend we see the history of Hiram Abiff, one of the chief architects of King Solomon's Temple, being killed for refusing to divulge the divine secrets of the builders, and then being found and properly buried by his Brethren. While King Solomon realises that with the death of Hiram the Word of the Builders is lost, he claims nonetheless that by trusting in G-d the Word will be restored in Time. And so it happens, some 500 years later, with the discovery of the Holy Royal Arch while building the Second Temple.



And so in the previous Aeon the lesson is one of abandonment to a higher authority, someone who is in control of Time, can see through it, and knows how things will pan out. Death is so often conquered via Faith, and "in the son", that is in leaving a new generation to thrive beyond our own.



The Aeon of the Child and the Law of Thelema throw a serious span in that worldview, because by accepting our divine, stellar nature, something that can and will be achieved by discovering one's True Will in embrace with one's Holy Guardian Angel, we are tasked with conquering the same divine perception of Time and Space. To see our mortal existence not so much as a cinematic reel of cause and effect, of successive events, but rather as a beautiful tapestry where our entire life from birth to death is already laid out. And if you think this also questions heavily the concept of free will, you aren't wrong - but that will be time the subject of another discussion down the line.



And so that's why in the Third Degree of O.T.O. you have, instead of Hiram Abiff, another story and another protagonist: Mansur Al-Hallaj, the Sufi mystic who faced persecution and martyrdom for claiming "I am Truth, and in my turban is wrapped nothing but God". And as he dies, he realises that he will be keep on living "in the sun", that is having fully achieved the Solar Consciousness that frees us from the illusion of Time and Space, of Life and Death. True acceptance that we are born to die - wait, does that mean Lana del Rey is an Adept?



But trust me: it will still hit you like a ten-ton truck when you will have to face it. Accepting the pain, tending to the trauma, learning how to ask for help, seeking to balance between rationalising and allowing for the stream of feelings, is also a Key to this Mystery. I will be 42 in June.This means that, without any doubts whatsoever, I am fast reaching - or have I already reached, depending on who you ask - middle age.I never thought I would make this far, to be very honest: living the life I lived in my 20s and till my mid-30s, between extreme hedonism and countless days and nights spent in clubs or in tour buses from a city to another, the safe bet would have been to see me shuffle this mortal coil way earlier.But having somewhat steered away from that fateful meeting, at least yet, I have arrived at that point in life where Death becomes a more present figure in Life: over the past few years I lost many, some loved family relatives, some very close friends, some co-workers, some people you only met once or twice and you always told yourself you'd seem them again soon... but never did.My experience is hardly unique, and yet as a Thelemite I should have a much different understanding of this experience than the average person in the street: should, because no matter what level of understanding one thinks to possess, it will still hit you like a ten-ton truck. It's how you recover from the trauma that makes the difference.Now, many have written on this subject before, starting from Crowley himself, especially in two specific parts of the Thelemic corpus: the epistole "Liber CVI: Concerning Death" , and the chapter "De Morte" in Liber Aleph, where he states, in a very cautious manner seldom found in his bombastic style, "Thou hast made Question of me concerning Death, and this is my Opinion, of which I say not: this is the Truth."When even Aleister Crowley himself advises for caution and states he doesn't know the final truth of the matter, it's fair to say we are facing one the true Mysteries.Analysing such Mystery, and borrowing from my friend and colleague IAO131, we quickly realise that the first difficulty in figuring out Thelema’s approach to death is that the term “death” is used in at least two ways: firstly, it refers to the physical death of the body and, secondly, it refers to the spiritual experience of the death of the sense of self which is called “Crossing the Abyss” in this system. We may see the distinction in many places, and Crowley himself often differentiates the two ideas such as when he writes, “The death of the individual is his awakening to the impersonal immortality of Hadit. This applies less to physical death than to the Crossing of the Abyss.”Now this might make sense, or at least give an intellectual perspective upon which operate, to the Aspirant and to the Adept. But how do we explain this to the grieving son that just lost their parents? If Thelema has to be the blueprint for living in the New Aeon, we must learn to differentiate how we deliver our philosophy, ontology, and theology without pretending them to be Aspirants or Adepts, and still offer them a way to recover from the fundamental trauma of Life, which is indeed dealing with Death.This is fundamentally what "outer courts of initiation", such as Freemasonry first and the Ordo Templi Orientis later, were set to do: trying to explain very advanced magico-mystical concept via allegory and symbols.The famed Third Degree of both Freemasonry and O.T.O. deal indeed with Death, and passing through it is what gives one the title of Master: in the Masonic legend we see the history of Hiram Abiff, one of the chief architects of King Solomon's Temple, being killed for refusing to divulge the divine secrets of the builders, and then being found and properly buried by his Brethren. While King Solomon realises that with the death of Hiram the Word of the Builders is lost, he claims nonetheless that by trusting in G-d the Word will be restored in Time. And so it happens, some 500 years later, with the discovery of the Holy Royal Arch while building the Second Temple.And so in the previous Aeon the lesson is one of abandonment to a higher authority, someone who is in control of Time, can see through it, and knows how things will pan out. Death is so often conquered via Faith, and "in the son", that is in leaving a new generation to thrive beyond our own.The Aeon of the Child and the Law of Thelema throw a serious span in that worldview, because by accepting our divine, stellar nature, something that can and will be achieved by discovering one's True Will in embrace with one's Holy Guardian Angel, we are tasked with conquering the same divine perception of Time and Space. To see our mortal existence not so much as a cinematic reel of cause and effect, of successive events, but rather as a beautiful tapestry where our entire life from birth to death is already laid out. And if you think this also questions heavily the concept of free will, you aren't wrong - but that will be time the subject of another discussion down the line.And so that's why in the Third Degree of O.T.O. you have, instead of Hiram Abiff, another story and another protagonist: Mansur Al-Hallaj, the Sufi mystic who faced persecution and martyrdom for claiming "I am Truth, and in my turban is wrapped nothing but God". And as he dies, he realises that he will be keep on living "in the sun", that is having fully achieved the Solar Consciousness that frees us from the illusion of Time and Space, of Life and Death. True acceptance that we are born to die - wait, does that mean Lana del Rey is an Adept?But trust me: it will still hit you like a ten-ton truck when you will have to face it. Accepting the pain, tending to the trauma, learning how to ask for help, seeking to balance between rationalising and allowing for the stream of feelings, is also a Key to this Mystery. WHY THELEMA AFTER TEARS?



Finding a name for a project is one of the hardest things out there: during my years working as a musician and producer, finding a good name for a song or, worse, for a full album, was the true ordeal that would delay the release for weeks, if not months at a time.



Trying to find magical name is twice as difficult, and I must thank my partner Riam for coming up with the best possible descriptor for what I am trying to do here: that is, to not only tell my own story of working with the Thelemic current, and not shying away from highlighting its many shortcomings and the stress and pain that came from dealing with them.

But also, and maybe more importantly, to show that there is a better way to engage with Thelema, away from the tired tropes of Lodges, Orders, and the like. TERRY R. WRISTE: ULTRATERRESTRIAL? Back to Hellier... because magick should not just be entertaining high philosophy and pursuing the unlocking of the Mysteries, but also find a way to contact praeterhuman intelligences: that's how we received the Book of the Law after all, if Crowley is to be believed...



And so let's entertain a thought: what if Terry R. Wriste himself is an Ultraterrestrial? Using the "cypher", we know from the show that there seem to be an identity between the phrase "Ink and Black" and a well-known Ultraterrestrial, Indrid Cold. Both they numbers are 112. Now if we run Terry R. Wriste in the cypher, we get 192: on a cursory glance, not a link. However, when we look at one of the 108 matches for terms found in Liber AL vel Legis, we find this: in red ink and black So maybe there is a connection between the two after all. Maybe not an identity per se, but a similarity. Moreover, I found some other interesting matches: a secret fourfold

cowards professional

hands upon the black

is a king concealed

the unveiling

truth i invoke

warrior i will give Of course, it's very easy to get sidetracked in this game and see things just for the sake of it. But to me the idea of Terry R. Wriste being of the same species of Indrid Cold makes sense, even as I stated previously that he and Greenfield might be one. In Thelema there are 3 fundamental steps of Initiation: that of Neophyte, where Initiation proper starts. That of Adept, tied to obtaining the Knowledge and Conversation with the Holy Guardian Angel. And finally that of Master, tied with the Crossing of the Abyss and the Ego-Death, under the Night of Pan. The nature of the Holy Guardian Angel is one of the most debated points in Thelemic philosophy, and in fact a recurring theme of the Western Esoteric Tradition as a whole: over the recorded history of magic and initiation, this concept has been described, and understood, in very different and often conflictual ways. For the original writers of the early grimoires from which this entire tradition stems, the HGA was an external being, an "angel" in the most traditional sense, with the "Abramelin Operation" being the most widely magical working used to obtain the Knowledge and Conversation with the Holy Guardian Angel (abbreviated as KCHGA) Crowley started from this position, and over the course of his life wrote about it in often conflicting ways, however he was continued to stress the central importance of KCHGA right until the end of his life, writing in his last work, Magick Without Tears, that: It should never be forgotten for a single moment that the central and essential work of the Magicians is the attainment of the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel. He explicitly linked KCHGA and the ‘Great Work’ in Chapter ΓΛ of Liber Aleph: This Great Work is the Attainment of the Knowledge and Conversation of thine Holy Guardian Angel. As well as in Chapter III of Magick in Theory and Practice: It is the second half of the formula which symbolises the Great Work which we are pledged to accomplish. The first step of this is the attainment of the Knowledge and Conversation of

the Holy Guardian Angel, which constitutes the Adept of the Inner Order. The key is to understand that when Crowley used the term ‘Holy Guardian Angel’ within the context of his A∴A∴ organisation and within the context of his overall program of ‘magical’ training, he used it to refer to a concept of individual attainment, of ‘personal progress’, and of self-development.



As I said above however, the NATURE of this Angel would never be clearly stated by Crowley, and it's not clearly stated in the received texts of Thelema, the Holy Books: the fact it is left vague is in reality perfectly in line with a religious philosophy and magical practice that force each and everybody to find their own Truth for themselves, and then never force it upon others. Nonetheless, Numerous interpretations of the Holy Guardian Angel abound, from the ‘subconscious’ and a ‘projection of the personality’ at one end of the scale, through to an actual extraterrestrial alien at the other. And so... what if Terry R. Wriste is nothing else than Allen Greenfield's Holy Guardian Angel?