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Following the news that Tasmanian Liberal Party candidate Jessica Whelan has resigned after making violent anti-Muslim comments on social media, Scott Morrison has declared that her allegations would be forwarded to the Australian Federal Police.

This is just one of many pre-selection binfires in the party plagued by the ‘battlefield promotions’ that have occurred following the government’s historic brain drain following the resignation of Malcolm Turnbull and just about every other high profile Liberal that could string a sentence together.

Gladys Liu, Liberal candidate for the marginal Melbourne seat of Chisholm, has been accused of making comments insinuated that “the next generation” is being destroyed by “same-sex, transgender, intergender, all this rubbish.”

Liberal hopeful Sachin Joshi was caught saying women are to blame for the gender pay gap because they lack initiative and skill.

Peter Killin has resigned endorsing an extraordinary homophobic attack on “that notorious homosexual” and prominent backbencher Tim Wilson.

Jeremy Hearn was disendorsed as the Liberal’s candidate for Isaacs after a series of anti-Muslim comments were unearthed – in which he suggested taxpayers should stop funding Muslim schools because they were plotting a “rebellion against the government”.

With their back against the wall, and Labor trucking through to the finish line Bradbury-style – the Prime Minister of Australia, Scott ‘The Nightwatchman’ Morrison, has been forced to find new blood.

Starting with a celebrity candidate for Castle Hill, in Sydney’s North-West Bible Belt.

Former Wallaby Israel Folau is running for the Liberal Party on a ‘I can save you from going to hell platform’ – after being convinced by his pastors that it would be a good idea to join fellow pentecostal Christian Scott Morrison’s Liberal Party.

Morrison has cited Folau’s social media skills and high profile as key reasons for the pre-selection in the once safe Liberal seat, which is now looking as marginal as every blue-ribbon seat is under this government.

“He’s a young, new voice for our government – representing youth voters right across the country”

“It’s always refreshing to see a young person who isn’t completely indoctrinated by this entitled notion of equality and love”