The metadungeon is an amalgamation of every dungeon ever. It contains heinous monsters,

untold treasures, and bad puns. Everything is life or death slapstick tragicomedy.

Are you a hero? Are you a villain? Are you just here to kill things and take their stuff?

Find out in the metadungeon!





DISCLAIMER: THIS IS A REALLY DUMB RPG. IT IS ONLY VAGUELY SUITABLE FOR

PLAY, HAS NOT BEEN TESTED, WAS DEVELOPED IN HALF AN HOUR,

AND IS NOT FINISHED.





Enjoy!





System





Rolling: 1d20, roll under. If you get lower than your total, you succeed. Roll 3d6 for each stat,

in order.

Stats:

Strong (damage, hit things)

Tough (health)

Agile (dodge, sneak)

Talk (followers, luck)

Smart (experience level)

Modifiers

Stat Modifier 1 -5 2 -4 3-4 -3 5-6 -2 7-8 -1 9-12 +0 13-14 +1 15-16 +2 17-18 +3 19 +4 20 +5

Combat

On your turn, you can attack. Your attack is equal to 9+your level+any relevant stats.

Strong is relevant for most weapons.

Agile is relevant for ranged and light weapons.

Talk is probably only relevant if you have a sharp (literally) tongue.

Smart never goes near weapons.

When you hit someone, you roll your damage dice, and add the relevant stat. If they have 0 health,

they die. A HD is 1d8.

If you are attacked, your defence is equal to your agility.

If you are hit, subtract your armour from the damage you take.

If you ever get to 0 health, test tough. On a failure, you die.

Choose class:

Slayer

Health: 1d10/level +tough modifier

Damage: 1d10

Gain a weapon (you must have a copy of this weapon/object in real life, or at least a close approximation).

Give the weapon a name.

If you attack using the weapon and wave the real version of it around threateningly, you gain +1 damage

or attack for every level you have. If you ever lose or break the weapon, find another one.

Abilities

Choose 1/level.

Berserker: If you scream and froth at the mouth enough that other people are worried you might spit

on them, you can reroll your health dice.

If you aren’t wearing a shirt, gain armour equal to half your level.

Preacher

Health: 1d8/level +tough modifier

Damage: 1d6

You can pray, reciting scraps from your holy book that are relevant to your situation

(you do not have to make a holy book beforehand. That can be done as you recite from it).

Whenever you do this, ask the GM if they thought it was a nice bit of wisdom.

If they did, gain a favour point.

The maximum number of favour points you can spend each turn is equal to your level.

If you ever gain more than 5 favour points, you ascend to a higher plane of existence (e.g: die).

Abilities

Heal: You can spend a favour point to heal someone, provided they swear to serve the tenets of your

god (define the tenets of your god).

If they laugh or break their oath, you can smite them for 1d100 damage.

An Divine Load of Bullshit: If the GM doesn’t like a scrap of your holy book that you recited,

or instead of asking the GM, you can ask the players if they liked it.

Gain 1 favour point for every one who did.

Stealer

Health: 1d6/level +tough modifier

Damage: 1d8

If you can manage to steal dice from other players or the GM without them noticing,

you can give those dice back, but not before rolling them and using the outcome instead of one

you rolled.

You can do this a number of times per turn equal to your level.

Abilities

Choose 1/level.

Backstabbing Bastard: If the GM isn’t paying attention, and you can manage to stab them in

a vital area (it doesn’t have to be with a real knife), then you can tell them which monster or NPC

you just killed.

If you stab a player instead, you can kill them.

If the person you are trying to stab catches you, you have to deal with the consequences.

Sneakster: If another player can’t see you, neither can any of their characters.

Liar’s Dice: You can hide the result of your roll behind a cup or your hand,

and tell the other players whatever you like. If one of them tells you to, reveal your dice.

If you rolled what you said, you gain an experience.

If you didn’t roll what you said, you lose an experience.

Reader

Health: 1d4/level +tough modifier

Damage: 1d4

Bring a book with you when you play (if you don’t have a book, you’re shit outta luck).

This book is your spell book.

Every time you level up, you can get an additional book.

Your ‘reading pool’ is equal to the number of chapters in your book.

This reading pool recharges every time you read a chapter of the book.

The number of reading points you can spend every turn is equal to your level.

Abilities

Choose 1/level.

Devil Summoner : For a reading point, you can test smart to try to summon a character from that book,

with the stats below.

If you fail, the GM chooses what character you summon from the book, and they are hostile.

Book Character HD=the number of syllables in the character’s name.

Damage=1 dice size for every vowel in the character’s name.

Morale=the number of titles the character has, +1, x1d10.

Stealth=the number of consonants in the character’s name

Blast: You can blast enemies with your book.

You can expend a point from your reading pool to create a blast that deals 1d6 damage.

Monsters

Y’p’wrxs’mnb’q

HD: 5

Damage: 2d6

Special Abilities: Each player must try to guess how to pronounce it’s name.

Whoever the GM judges comes the closest gains +1 armour and +1 damage against it.

Everyone else takes 1d6 damage from too many consonants.

Dice Monster

HD: 1 HP

Damage: 1

Special Abilities:

At the beginning of each round, every character must make a save.

If they fail, their player gives the GM 1 dice.

That dice is rolled, and it’s total is added to the Dice Monster’s HP.

The dice is then put aside.

If all dice are put aside, the players can no longer roll dice, or do anything that requires dice,

unless they find a way to get more dice.

A stealer can try to steal the dice back, so the GM should be vigilant against that.