This past Sunday was Mother's Day. But for Asians everywhere, yesterday was Tiger Mother's Day, when kids whose handmade cards have been rejected as half-assed traditionally turn in second drafts, desperately hoping that this time, their craftsmanship will meet muster. (Think you'll earn tigro-maternal approval with anything less than decoupage and letterpress embossing? Fat chance. And speaking of fat, you've put on a few pounds, haven't you? Less dining hall, more study hall, chubbo!)

If reading the paragraph above triggers...