“All growth is from within” ~ Master Key. “Change and growth take place when a person has risked himself and dares to become involved with experimenting with his own life” ~ Herbert Otto. I know and believe that every normal thinking person has a dream, at least I have one. We all want to believe deep down in our souls that we have a special gift, that we can make a difference, that we can touch others in a special way, and that we can help make society and the world at large a better place. The biggest challenge to this belief is ones-self. You are responsible for making it and living your dream life. No one but you alone, are the master of your destiny. The thoughts and actions you make come from within you and hence determine the course of your life’s direction. In this article I try and help you take a leap of personal development by accepting that you play a major role in determining the course of your future.

There are three decisions that you make every moment of your life that shape and control your destiny. These three decisions will control what you will notice, what you will feel, what you will do and finally what you will contribute and who you will become. I believe that if you do not control these decisions it becomes very difficult to take the giant step of growth. It also means to me, that you are not in control of your life. Firstly you must understand that all growth comes from within; growth is embedded thin the inside of you. Jesus gives us the example of the mastered seed in the bible. Out of a small seed grows a huge tree. Where does the tree come from? Off course the external environment plays a part but it is hugely what is inside that determines that extent of growth. If you have very little faith in what you are doing then you might as well stop it and grow the faith before continuing. When you control these three decisions then you begin to shape your destiny.

What is your focus in life?

“Most people have no idea of the giant capacity we can immediately command when we focus all of our resources on mastering a single area of our lives” ~Tony Robbins. The first step of growth for me to take is the decision is what to focus on. You see, it’s not what is happening to you right now or what happened to you in the past that determines who you want to become. But rather it’s your decision on what to focus on that will help determine your personal growth. Do you want to dwell on the negative past and want to focus on the negative results that you have archived? What you decide to focus on largely determines what results you will accomplish. Focus on negative results and believe me you will have just that. It is very important that you learn to focus on the positive aspects of life even in trying movements. Here is a lesson I have learnt in life it is much easier to walk out when things are not going on well. This I tell you is the easiest decision you can make in life and believe me it is not usually the best one available.

Luckily we all have the ability to make decisions to focus; we all have the some power and consciousness to focus. When you focus this power through attention or concentration on any single purpose for considerable length of time nothing becomes impossible. If you have ever looked through the viewfinder of a camera, you found that when the object was not in focus, the impression was indistinct and possibly blurred, but when the proper focus was obtained the picture was clear and distinct. This illustrates the power of concentration. Unless you can focus and concentrate upon the object which you have in view, you will have but a hazy, indifferent, vague, indistinct and blurred outline of your ideal and the results will be in accordance with your mental picture. We therefore, have no excuse to fail making better decisions.

By making the decision to focus on the right things in life we are taking a giant step of growth. Remember that growth will not come all at once or like manner from heaven. You need to make the right decisions and actions. I want to believe that if you have a written down life’s intended purpose then you have a plan to focus on. The first thing to do before you make the decision to focus is to have a written down life’s purpose as mentioned before. This will give you a better reason to focus and achieve your goals in a more organized manner.

What do things means to you?

“My definition of success is to live your life in a way that causes you to feel a ton of pleasure and very little pain – and because of your lifestyle, have the people around you feel a lot more pleasure than they do pain” ~ Tony Robbins. My second step of growth is the decision about what things mean to you? Well you may want to ask yourself what life means to you; why do you exist? These are just but some of the questions that you may have to know the answers to. The decision about what things mean to you is a huge one that you cannot afford not to make if you have to make the second giant step of growth. Remember you need to know what things mean to you in order to have greater control of your life. After you have made the decision to focus ask yourself what does the thing(s) you are focusing on mean to you; what is the value of it? If it can be quantified put a monetary value to it. They say you heart is where your money is. Where is your heart?

In life we come across so many things and most of them are actually useful for a short while and then become meaningless after some time. Therefore, it is very important that you know when something is of value and when to let go of it. Many of the times we keep holding on even to things that have no more value. We carry a lot of cabbage long with us. Know that if you carry cabbage it is of no value to you. This applies even to people that we come across. Some of them have no value per say in our lives. Yet we continuously spend more time with them. I am not saying you should create enemies but try to spend more time with the people that add value to your life, If you have to grow.

If you have to grow stop taking responsibility for people’s actions. Remember you are accountable for your own actions. I have seen people who want to take responsibility for someone’s actions in the name of pleasing them. This is very wrong, and please know that the best recipe for failure is to try to please everyone. You should attach a value to Personal growth and development. To do this you need firstly to have spelt out your intended life’s purpose. Believe me, if you do not have a written down LIFE’S INTENDED PURPOSE, you are just chasing after the wind. You are flowing with the wind. You have no control of your life’s destiny.

What do you want to do?

“I am not discouraged, because every wrong attempt discarded is another step forward.” —THOMAS EDISON. Lastly the decision to know what you want to do to achieve your goal is very cardinal. This still brings me back to the idea of having a written down life’s intended purpose. Without which you cannot make the decision to know what to do to achieve it. If you went ahead and made the decision, it would be like getting in a car and driving off without a known destination. In other words you would be driving aimlessly. In this case you are living life aimlessly without a written down life’s intended purpose.

Many of us are scared to make decisions of what we want to do or rather how we want to go about achieving our intended life’s purpose, for fear of making the wrong decisions. Believe me we all have made wrong decisions in our lives and we are all going to make wrong ones in future. The key is to be flexible enough to override our earlier decisions and replace them. We do not have to allow the past wrong decisions we made to control our future. Remember your future is affected by the decisions you make now. Always try your level best to think through and possibly delay your decisions so as to make better judgment of what you want to achieve. The best time to make some of these hard decisions is in the night when you are alone and reflecting on your day. Believe me I have made far much better decisions when not rushed. Remember: Success truly is the result of good judgment. Good judgment is the result of experience, and experience is often the result of bad judgment!

Conclusion

Too many of us don’t make the majority of our decisions consciously, especially these three absolutely crucial ones; in so doing, we pay a major price. To avoid making wrong decisions’ we must commit to learning from the earlier mistakes. This is the only way we can improve on our decision making process and stop make better judgment of what decisions are to be made in future. Personal development is a continuous process and does not come without effort. Remember to “standout tall and be counted”.

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