In the book, The Language of Letting Go, Melody Beattie shares a story from the movie, Out of Africa:

“If you put them is prison,” one character said, describing this tribe, “they die.”

“Why?” asked another character.

“Because they can’t grasp the idea that they’ll be let out one day. They think it’s permanent, so they die.”

From 1999 to 2014, I was in a similar prison. I was told I had Bi-Polar disorder. I was told by many doctors that I would never heal from this, my lot in life would never improve, and I would be required to take heavy-duty medications for the rest of my life so I wouldn’t be a danger to myself or others. I eventually chose to believe this and couldn’t grasp the idea that I would be let out of this inevitability some day.

In 2014, after 5 suicide attempts and with a plan to end my life yet again, I checked myself into a mental hospital. See my detailed story here.

I couldn’t grasp the idea that I could ever get better. For 15 years, my diagnosis owned me. I used to say, “I AM bi-polar.” I used it as an excuse. I let it identify who I was. I let it own me. I became hopeless.

For 15 years I believed what the doctors had to say. I was introduced to Empower Plus Q96 pills. I got off all of my medications, against my doctors wishes and direct orders. When he had me thrown out of his office, his exact words were: “There is nothing further I can do for you. If you won’t do what I tell you, there is no help for you.” He then yelled at me to get the hell out of his office.

After I started the Q96 pills I started counseling. After getting off of the prescribed, “required” medications, my mind was much more clear. I was able to think much more clearly, which also meant making better decisions. After months of counseling I got a divorce (my third one). I took my three sons and we started our life over. Again.

A few months later, I watched the documentary, FED UP, and cut sugars out of my diet entirely. That is when my life really began. That is when I truly began to heal. I felt reborn!

I’m so grateful to have gotten out of that prison. If you are in a medicated or emotional prison of some kind, or you know someone else who is, please know and remember that you are not alone. Everything is temporary. There is help and hope out there. There are so many people out there who have been through so much worse pain and suffering, and when we start to make it a habit to look at the fact that we could be worse off, we begin to be grateful that it isn’t. Being grateful for just one thing is a great start. What else do we have to be grateful for? Do we have eyes to see with? Legs to stand on and walk with? Moods and emotions we can experience which motivate us to change and improve? What else do we have we can be grateful for?

If you are in pain now, and you are suffering, isn’t it time to find a way out of your prison? The pain will stop when you decide to do something about it. The pain will stop when you decide to acquire the skills and tools to cope properly with it. In order for things to change, we must change. It is easier than you think.

Keep things simple. Do one thing at a time. Take baby steps. Repeat.

Today I will remember that EVERYTHING IS TEMPORARY. I will know I won the day if I can answer, “YES” to the question, “Did I work at BECOMING BETTER today in some way?” I will go easy on myself and take small, incremental, baby steps each day towards becoming the person I deserve to be.

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Remember: Mindset matters. Character counts. That which we choose to consistently focus on is everything!

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