There’s something about a crash that draws people. Having been the unwitting star of a real life one I can testify to that.

That fact might, might, just mitigate the losses that Universal Studios is going to take from Cats, which is shaping up to be an all-time Christmas turkey.

I have to admit it’s what drew me to the film. Had it received mixed, even moderately good reviews, I’d have cheerfully avoided it unless it was my turn to “take one for the team” and accompany my daughter who is inexplicably fond of this sort of thing.

But the sheer scale of the critical assault, the poison that has been sprayed by the sharpest of sharpened quills, piqued my curiosity. Could it really be that bad?

There are, of course, bad movies released every week. Some of them feature talented actors. Recall that Judi Dench was in The Chronicles of Riddick, a 29 per cent Rotten Tomatoes stinker that still beat Cats. I like cult movies and sci-fi. It’s probably why the Cats trailer that scared the crap out of people didn’t overly concern me. But Riddick held scant appeal. Still, there’s nothing wrong with getting paid.

35 movies with ridiculous titles Show all 35 1 /35 35 movies with ridiculous titles 35 movies with ridiculous titles Birdman or (The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) The first part of Birdman's title is fine; it's the bracketed second part, The Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance, which is completely unnecessary. Fox Searchlight Pictures 35 movies with ridiculous titles Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978) This spoof of B-movies has a suitably ridiculous title: Attack of the Killer Tomatoes. Believe it or not, the film was such a success, it spawned three sequels. 35 movies with ridiculous titles Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan (2006) Sacha Baron Cohen's Borat film had to have a memorably awful title, and Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan, fits the bill perfectly. 20th Century Fox 35 movies with ridiculous titles The Bye Bye Man (2017) The events of this psychological horror film might be distressing, but the appointed moniker of the killer's imaginary accomplice – The Bye Bye Man – is a bit of a joke. YouTube 35 movies with ridiculous titles Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercu Humppre and Find True Happiness? (1969) Yes, there is an actual British musical film that's honestly called Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercu Humppre and Find True Happiness? Imagine asking for that at the ticket desk. Universal Pictures 35 movies with ridiculous titles The Chumscrubber (2005) The title of this film refers to a video game character called The Chumscrubber, whose experiences mirror that of the film's protagonist. Nice idea – awful title. Go Fish Pictures 35 movies with ridiculous titles Death Bed: The Bed That Eats (1977) As you'd expect, Death Bed: The Bed That Eats is a surrealist horror film about a bed that devours people who sleep in it. Gets points for its hilariously direct subtitle. Cult Epics 35 movies with ridiculous titles The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood (2002) Comedy-drama The Divine Secrets of the Ya-Ya Sisterhood might be based on Rebecca Wells's novel of the same name, but the title remains a confusing mouthful. Warner Bros Pictures 35 movies with ridiculous titles Dr Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964) Just because Stanley Kubrick's Dr Strangelove is a beloved classic, it doesn't mean its subtitle "Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb" is acceptable. Columbia Pictures 35 movies with ridiculous titles Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood (1996) A spoof written by the Wayans brothers needs a pretty wild title, and fortunately they found one in Don't Be a Menace to South Central While Drinking Your Juice in the Hood. Miramax Films 35 movies with ridiculous titles Don't Worry, We'll Think of a Title Don't Worry, We'll Think of a Title is a title befitting of a parody, but sadly, it's just not that funny. United Artists 35 movies with ridiculous titles The End of the World in Our Usual Bed in a Night Full of Rain (1978) The title of this Lina Wertmüller film literally translates from Italian as (take a deep breath) The End of the World in Our Usual Bed in a Night Full of Rain. YouTube 35 movies with ridiculous titles The Englishman who Went up a Hill But Came down a Mountain A film titled The Englishman who Went up a Hill But Came down a Mountain is never going to set the box office alight, and this Hugh Grant movie is proof of the fact. 35 movies with ridiculous titles eXistenZ (1999) It's more the way eXistenZ is stylised than the actual title itself that causes eyes to roll whenever this David Cronenberg film is mentioned. 35 movies with ridiculous titles Freddy Got Fingered (2001) Tom Green was certainly trying to provoke outrage by calling his MTV comedy Freddy Got Fingered, which relates to a small plot point from the film. 20th Century Fox 35 movies with ridiculous titles The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini (1966) The Ghost in the Invisible Bikini is the seventh and final of American International Pictures' beach party films, which was released in 1966 and – among other things – features a haunted house fit with a swimming pool. 35 movies with ridiculous titles A Good Day to Die Hard (2013) There is nothing clever about the title A Good Day to Die Hard. In fact, the more you look at it, the less sense it makes. Rex Features 35 movies with ridiculous titles Half Past Dead (2002) Film fans can usually check their brains at the door before watching any Steven Seagal action film, but Half Past Dead requires one just to make sense of the title. The film, unsurprisingly, was a box office failure. Screen Gems 35 movies with ridiculous titles The Hottie & The Nottie (2008) Although it's fun to say, The Hottie & the Nottie is a stone-cold dud helped by the fact the title should have been thrown out long before the film was released. Regent Releasing 35 movies with ridiculous titles The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? (1964) The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!? is considered to be one of the worst films ever made, and quite frankly, the title doesn't help its cause. Fairway International Pictures 35 movies with ridiculous titles Kidulthood Using Adulthood as a film title makes sense because it's an actual word. Kidulthood, on the other hand, is just a really bad play on words. Revolver Entertainment 35 movies with ridiculous titles Lesbian Vampire Killers (2009) Before James Corden was one the most popular chat show hosts in the US, he starred in Lesbian Vampire Killers alongside his Gavin & Stacey co-star Mathew Horne. It's as bad as the title suggests. Momentum Pictures 35 movies with ridiculous titles Mother, May I Sleep with Danger? (1996) Mother, May I Sleep with Danger? was originally supposed to be released in cinemas, but struggled to find distribution and premiered on US network NBC instead. Its title was probably a contributing factor. Columbia TriStar Television 35 movies with ridiculous titles Octopussy (1983) Bond films have a history of outlandish movie titles – No Time to Die will continue that legacy in 2020 – but, let's be honest: the most ridiculous of them all is Octopussy. United International Pictures 35 movies with ridiculous titles Operation Dumbo Drop (1995) To be fair to Operation Dumbo Drop, its title does what it says on the tin. Buena Vista Pictures 35 movies with ridiculous titles Phffft! (1954) Calling your film Phffft! most probably counts it out of being discussed at a dinner party with your friends. Columbia Pictures 35 movies with ridiculous titles The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom (1993) The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader-Murdering Mom is based on the true story of Wanda Holloway, a woman who tried to put out a hit on one of her daughter's classmates (and the girl's mother) to advance her own daughter's middle school cheerleading career. HBO 35 movies with ridiculous titles Quackser Fortune Has a Cousin in the Bronx (1970) Irish-American comedy Quackser Fortune Has a Cousin in the Bronx stars Gene Wilder as the titular Quackser Fortune, a poor Irish manure collector who falls in love with an American exchange student (Margot Kidder) after she almost runs him over. Scotia-Barber 35 movies with ridiculous titles Santa With Muscles (1996) The real-life Jordan Belfort (the character Leonardi DiCaprio plays in The Wolf of Wall Street) produced Santa with Muscles, which stars Hulk Hogan as – you guessed it – a Santa... with muscles. Cabin Fever Entertainment 35 movies with ridiculous titles Sharknado 5: Global Swarming (1970) All of the Sharknado films have ridiculous titles, but the subtitle for the fifth instalment – Global Swarming – wins the trophy. Syfy 35 movies with ridiculous titles Snakes on a Plane (2006) Snakes on a Plane embraces its ridiculousness with a title that does exactly what the film says on the tin. Warner Bros. 35 movies with ridiculous titles Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992) The title of buddy cop film Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot is the least of its problems. Sylvester Stallone even said it was a film he regrets starring in. Universal Pictures 35 movies with ridiculous titles Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song (1971) There's something pretty cool about the title of Melvin Van Peebles's Sweet Sweetback's Baadasssss Song, but it's the extra three letters on the end of the word "badass" that allows its placement on this list. Cinemation Industries 35 movies with ridiculous titles To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar (1995) The baffling title of To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar refers to an iconic autographed photo of actor Julie Newmar the drag queens carry with them in the comedy film. Universal Pictures 35 movies with ridiculous titles Zyzzyx Road Huh? How do you even say Zyzzyx Road. It's just a disastrous title on all counts. GoDigital Media Group

Cats, however, is not just an every day duffer like that. It’s an heroic, epic fail, that I wouldn’t be surprised to see among the Razzies when the nominations are announced.

Sometimes movie critics are wildly out of step with the public they serve. Just how out of step can be seen by some of lists of best films they like to produce, which regularly feature pictures only a small percentage of the cinema-going public have even heard of, let alone seen.

On this occasion, dear reader, they’re bang on. At points, such as the crude joke about neutering or the wildly inappropriate dance performed by Rebel Wilson, considering the U certificate, I was left cringing with embarrassment. Both of them mercifully passed over my daughter’s head, as the British Board of Film Classification said it thought they probably would in justifying its rating.

Movies can be reassessed. The Night of the Hunter, a Fifties noir, was judged harshly on its release and failed at the box office. Its maker Charles Laughton never directed again. The work has since been preserved in the US Library of Congress as “culturally, aesthetically or historically significant” and regularly appears in best of all time lists.

That ain’t going to happen with Cats. The best it can hope for is that it becomes one of those cult bad movies like Showgirls or Plan Nine from Outer Space that get screened late on a Friday or Saturday night after the pubs have closed.

I nonetheless came out of it feeling a certain sympathy for those involved because Cats isn’t a picture that was slapped together solely for the purposes of making a cheap buck or two out of an uncritical audience. It is a film that has clearly had love as well as money pumped into it (the production budget was apparently $100m and the standard rule is that you add at least the same again for marketing and promotion, etc).

It boasts a dazzling line-up. In addition to Wilson, and Dench, there’s Ian McKellan. Gandalf no less. There’s Idris Elba, the coolest man on the planet. There’s Taylor Swift, perhaps the biggest star on the planet. There’s Jennifer Hudson, who won an Oscar for Dreamgirls, her first movie musical. Dench also has one of those too, as does director Tom Hooper for The King’s Speech.

That, and the sheer scale of its failure, the fact that just about every choice the makers made was wrong (the constantly moving CGI tails, the shapeless rug Dench, a national treasure, appears to be wearing, the bits that will make parents shudder), serve a strange sort of purpose.

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Yes, there’s an element of schadenfreude at work, but there’s some comfort to be had from the realisation that even people with such awesome, godlike talent, are human after all and thus capable of making the occasional misstep, suffering through a metaphorical bad day at the office.