I don't know about you, but I sure could use a retention bonus.

Unfortunately, I don't work for Buncombe County.

You've probably heard by now that former Buncombe County Manager Wanda Greene, currently under a federal criminal investigation, apparently was handing out "retention bonuses" to already highly paid county employees like candy canes at a Christmas parade.

The problem is taxpayers were funding all that sugar, and commissioners say this wasn't their intent.

We're not talking peanuts here, either. My co-worker Jennifer Bowman has done some fantastic reporting on all this, combing county documents to calculate that Greene disbursed $1.46 million to herself and nine other employees as part of the "retention incentive" program.

Over the last six months of her career, Greene, who retired June 30, made more than $500,000, and her sister and son were working for the county, each making over $100,000. Her sister also got a retention bonus.

MORE: Former Buncombe manager Greene was friend to some, foe to others

MORE: Former Buncombe County manager Wanda Greene under investigation

You would think such egregious nepotism and expenditures of tax money might catch the eye of someone on the Buncombe County Board of Commissioners, but apparently it didn't.

In fact, it looks like commissioners, with the exception of Mike Fryar, who's been a real burr under Greene's saddle for years, essentially served as a giant Wanda Greene rubber stamp.

Hey, I get it — Greene could be intimidating, she was the financial expert and, with decades of experience, she wielded extraordinary power within the county.

When I posted one of Bowman's stories about the bonuses on my Facebook page, Commissioner Ellen Frost, noted that Greene "has a Ph.D. in forensic accounting," and "any questioning by staff was met with retaliation and commission members were severely criticized for questioning anything. It is (a) disgraceful miscarriage of taxpayer dollars."

Further, Frost said: "The system for accounting was deliberately confusing and that is why it took this length of time to accurately report the truth. The climate was one of fear and isolation."

Still, this was an enormous amount of money going out the door to already well-paid county workers. Let's review just how much county employees got under the "retention" program, which was put in place after a lot of county employees took a retirement incentive.

Remember, these are retention bonuses, which were in addition to salaries:

Greene gifted herself $241,790.14, although she never signed her agreement. She also already had a base salary of $247,110 a year.

Greene's sister, Irene Wolfe, formerly the financial services manager/accountant, hauled in $104,144.86. Gary Roberts, retired tax director, raked in $145,570.26; and Diane Price, budget director, nabbed a cool $162,899. Jon Creighton, assistant county manager, lugged home $164,042.41.

Mandy Stone, former health and human services director and assistant county manager, now county manager, rented a Brinks truck to take home $164,357.27. Kathy Hughes, clerk to the board and public relations director, landed $111,261.72.

Buncombe County Sheriff Van Duncan apprehended $125,224.17. Patricia Freeman, identification director, snagged $119,461.21. David Brigman, air quality director, cleared out with $125,849.15.

Amazingly, all these employees agreed to stay for an additional period of time, usually a number of months. Who wouldn't?

Even the sheriff, whom I've always considered an honorable man, got a retention bonus. He's elected to a four-year term, for the love of inexplicable accounting!

This whole deal just stinks to high heaven, and the commissioners should've been able to smell it from miles away, like the county landfill.

It also makes me question other decisions commissioners have made in recent years, or deals that Greene has entered on their behalf.

Were commissioners engaged? Were they reading the fine print? Were they asking Greene tough questions? Asking for documents?

Fairly or not, the financial malfeasance also casts a shadow on the board's decision to hire Stone as Greene's replacement, without a national search for a manager or a competitive process.

Former commission Chairman David Gantt, who retired from the position last November after serving in that role since 2008, was on the board for 20 years. It looks like he would've had to have signed off on Greene's bonus.

I talked to Gantt Friday, and he said he looks forward to being able to talk about all this in the future, but for now he cannot because of the federal investigation.

The county has revamped its personnel ordinance and created a whisteblower hotline for employees to call, and Chairman Brownie Newman directed the current county manager to "provide thorough and comprehensive responses to all pending information requests from the public, as soon as possible."

That's nice, considering that once news of the federal investigation broke in August, the county referred us to the feds for even the most rudimentary information request.

"As commission chair, I was disappointed to learn that pay increases were directed to the county's higher paid employees than our lowest paid county workers," Newman said. "I was also disappointed that the media and the commission were provided inaccurate information on salaries and compensation for the county manager and senior staff."

Hey, I was disappointed, too, but probably not as much as Buncombe's lowest paid workers. Instead of raises going to them, 15 of the 123 workers who received a raise made more than $100,000. Of those 123 workers who got a raise, the average salary was more than $64,000.

As one of my Facebook friends put it, "Can Buncombe County refund my tax increases?"

She has an excellent point.

Yes, Greene apparently circumvented commissioners' wishes and was difficult to deal with.But they were asleep at the dais.

To be blunt, they failed the taxpayers of the county.

This is the opinion of John Boyle. Contact him at 828-232-5847 or jboyle@citizen-times.com.