(My girlfriend and I are walking home from the movies. We’re discussing zombies.)

Me: “I freaking hate zombies!”

Girlfriend: “Me too!”

Me: “If I saw someone chewing on another person, I’d run like crazy!”

Girlfriend: “Imagine if we’d got bitten.”

Me: “I’d kill you right there and then!”

Girlfriend: “Aw, thank you! I’d kill you too!”

Me: “Seriously. If you even see someone ‘om-noming’ on me, just shoot first and ask later.”

Girlfriend: “Deal! How about haunted houses?”

Me: “Oh, screw that. I’d never make it.”

Girlfriend: “Me neither. Let’s just off each other in that case too.”

Me: “Deal! No running around in panic…”

Girlfriend: “…mentally scarred for life…”

Me: “…with limbs possibly missing.”

Girlfriend: “Nope, just blissful death.”

Me: “I’m glad I can count on you.”

Girlfriend: “Is it weird that I feel safer now?”

Me: “Nope. Now I know that as long as you’re not trying to kill me, everything is alright.”