Are you ready for a hard sell? Because you're about to get a hard sell on the Patriots-Texans game, easily the least entertaining game on the schedule this weekend. The Patriots are either 15- or 16-point favorites depending on where you pick up the line, and just about no one expects them to lose.

It might not be worth anything more than DVR-ing the game and watching it later. But I have an even better idea. Call your favorite restaurant and book a dinner at 6:30 or 7 p.m. with your significant other. Tell him/her you are skipping football to spend time together out of love.

Then click right here and sign up for CBS All Access, get a free week trial, and stream the Patriots-Texans game while you're out and about. Lay that phone on your lap at the restaurant and encourage your loved one to chug water and visit the bathroom at least six times. Visit the bathroom yourself eight times. You'll get to watch all of the game and score brownie points.

If you end up staying in and watching the game for whatever reason ... well, good for you too. It might end up being better than expected. Maybe.

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Some people think this game will be close late. That includes CBS Sports Nick Kostos, my partner in crime on the Roughing the Passer Podcast (subscribe via iTunes here!), who believes the Texans are the lock of the millenium (listen below).

The reality is these two teams met in the regular season when Tom Brady was suspended and the Patriots, who started Jacoby Brissett at quarterback, beat the Texans 27-0.

The line is historically high for a reason. The Patriots losing would go down as an all-time upset, maybe even bigger than New England losing an undefeated season to the Giants in 2007.

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That seems like hyperbole, but this Texans team doesn't belong on the same field. Jadeveon Clowney has looked really good and Whitney Mercilus has blossomed into the player the Texans wanted when they took him in the first round. This Houston defense is good, but it's also coached by a guy in Romeo Crennel who was mentored by Bill Belichick.

Everyone on this staff spent time in New England, so the head games are out of control here. If it does end up being close, there will be high drama.

How to Watch

Injury report

Patriots

WR Malcolm Mitchell (Knee) -- Questionable

Texans

S Quintin Demps (Hamstring) -- Questionable

OLB John Simon (Chest) -- Questionable

Prisco's Pick

The Patriots have dominated the Texans over the years, beating them 27-0 in Week 3 this season with Jacoby Brissett at quarterback. Tom Brady is back now, which isn't a good thing for the Texans' top-ranked defense. Houston looked good on defense last week, but that was Connor Cook for the Raiders. This will be Brady and his quick passing game. Can the Texans get to him? If they can, the Patriots might have issues.

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I just don't think the Texans will be able to put up too many points here with Brock Osweiler against the league's top-scoring defense. The Houston defense will keep it close for a while, but in the end Brady will get it going and pull it out in the second half.

Pick: Patriots 23, Texans 13