As Donald Trump cowers in his Paris hotel room for fear of getting his strange and terrible hair wet in possibly inclement weather, other world leaders were amazingly able to survive the torrential downpours that Trump surely must have seen on a weather report to make him cancel his highly respectful and important visit to the cemetery where Americans who died in WWI are interred in honor of Memorial Day, and… what’s that? The, uh, sun is out?

Merkel and Macron mark the end of the First World War One one hundred years ago with a solemn ceremony in Compiegne. Trump decided not to go to a ceremony at a US cemetery near Paris because the weather is a bit rainy pic.twitter.com/KEepVQS8NK — Luke Baker (@BakerLuke) November 10, 2018

Okay, that looks bad. But it had to be raining somewhere, right? Otherwise, Trump would just look like a monstrous buffoon. I mean, imagine if the President who has absolutely postured himself as this big, tough, hyper-masculine bad boy got shown up by some young, suspiciously handsome, possibly French, Canadian guy like, say

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Today, I joined our delegation of Canadian veterans at Vimy Ridge — to thank them for their service and to pay tribute to those who made the ultimate sacrifice in the name of our freedom. We will never forget.#CanadaRemembers pic.twitter.com/txn66KcnDM — Justin Trudeau (@JustinTrudeau) November 10, 2018

DAMMIT, Trudeau!

How are we supposed to have any respect at all for this guy if you just keep going to the places around the globe that leaders are supposed to act like leaders in, and pointing out what an asshole Trump is by acting like a leader?!?

Honestly, I shouldn’t poke fun. This whole thing is disgraceful, and it’s hard to believe it’s happening, even though we already know he’d rather watch reruns of Fox & Friends with his own call-ins than attend the birth of his own child.

But the takeaways here are sort of comforting if you can bear to read a little more:

Number one, Trump is absolutely the kind of dude who never needed to watch “Pulp Fiction” to know what they call a Quarter Pounder in France — if he’s been to France, he knows. So that’s worth at least one more chuckle from you, dear reader.

And number two, the reason that Trump is holed up in a hotel room instead of out there looking like a President is that his world is crashing down around him. That’s not speculation, that’s watching the last week unfold. Democrats made the biggest gains in the House in nearly 50 years. He’s about to lose some of his biggest supporters-slash-protectors from their positions of power. He just looked like a moron again for picking a transparently biased guy to be Acting Attorney General and then found out after the fact that the guy’s being investigated by the FBI himself. Legions of lawyers have left him. His son is about to be indicted.

In fact, I can hardly blame a guy who hides out in a swanky Paris chambre d’hôtel when I know what he knows in his heart of hearts: He is guilty of more than anyone knows publicly yet, and his base is made up of people who would forgive him every fault but can’t protect him from punishment.

Featured image via screen capture