By Sondra Miller

My husband, Eric, just rolled his eyes at me.

As I read an article about the start of Cleveland's lingerie football league in September, Eric could tell my blood pressure had already sky-rocketed.

I can't count how many conversations we have had that follow this pattern: a media story, ad, movie or song that blatantly objectifies women and girls. My fury rages. Eric tells me to relax. "It's not a big deal," he says, trying to console me. I launch into a list of reasons why it is a big deal. He smiles politely to end the conversation and knows that these discussions are just part of the package he got when he married me.

I have spent most of my career working toward gender equity. Today, I work at the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center. In fact, I help the center with "social change," or changing the way our society thinks about sexual assault. This inevitably means changing the way our society treats women and girls. We spend a lot of time trying to engage men and boys in this "social change," so I figure if I can't convince my husband of 12 years that lingerie football is not OK, I probably need to find another job.

Eric is a conservative-minded small-business owner. We are raising a 3-year-old daughter. On the spectrum of engagement in the movement to end violence against women, Eric falls in the "disinterested" category or perhaps the "interested-only-by-association-to-me" category. I believe most men -- and even women -- fall into this category.

He certainly believes that women deserve respect and equal opportunities and that rape is inexcusable. Almost all men do. I've even watched Eric intervene in a situation where a woman could have easily been victimized. I wish more men and women would. But, for the most part, he's more concerned about tax credits and football than how to stop rape, which brings me back to Cleveland's new women's football league, where all players are required to play a game in short shorts, a bra and garter.

Since I spend my days thinking about how our society glamorizes women, sex and violence, it is easy for me to make the connection between women's lingerie football and rape. This connection for Eric is, at best, a stretch. Perhaps even nonexistent.

"This is just entertainment," Eric said. "You shouldn't take this so seriously."

To me, women's lingerie football sexualizes women in a violent environment and calls it a game or, even worse, entertainment. These games completely normalize the dangerous combination of sex, violence and women.

While nearly all of the men (and women) who watch these games would never commit rape, they will condone it on some level just by attending or watching. By supporting this league, even in the interest of innocent fun and entertainment, they send a message that women, sex and violence are normal, tolerable or -- even worse -- exciting.

Women's lingerie football does not cause rape. People do. The fantasy world created in these games, however, perpetuates unhealthy attitudes about women as sex objects. These attitudes contribute to a society where sexual violence can be encouraged and tolerated.

I know most men are as disgusted by rape as any woman. But I don't think most men know that by cheering on a women's lingerie football league, you are inadvertently supporting sexual violence against women. As much as you might not want to admit it, you are.

For me to convince Eric that there is a connection between this league and rape, I had to explain it this way: Rape is the ultimate disrespect of another person. Anything that falls on the spectrum of disrespect contributes to a society where we get closer to the extreme end of that spectrum.

There, he finally got it.

I call on my husband, my dad, my brothers-in-law, my friends and all other men. Don't support the women's lingerie football league. Don't buy a ticket. Don't watch it on TV. Don't talk about it at the water cooler. Ignore it -- or better yet -- speak out against it.

Have just one conversation with a young man or friend about why you are not interested. That conversation holds a lot of power and helps us work toward a future where rape is never, ever encouraged or tolerated.

Miller is vice president of community engagement at the Cleveland Rape Crisis Center.