OTTAWA – Carleton Athletics has removed all scales measuring weight in its gym and replaced them with Abraham Maslow’s theoretical Hierarchy of Needs.

“Gym-goers need to measure the things that are more valuable than weight,” explained a representative from Carleton Athletics. “Esteem, safety, love, and belonging are so much more important to scale. Some of us may want to lose pounds or run an extra mile, but that’s nothing compared to seeing how close you are to self-actualization.”

The new triangular diagram will give an opportunity for anyone, regardless of fitness level, to reflect on what needs to be developed on the inside, rather than the outside.

The move has already seen some success when a group of rowers who tried to weigh themselves for their weight category found the scales replaced with a colourful triangle.

“You know, I never measured my belongingness before,” explained Mark LaSalle who didn’t know if he was in the lightweight category or heavyweight category for the next competition. “I’m glad I could see my place in society and whether I feel that my life is going in the right direction.”

However, not all were happy with the replacement.

“I’m really sick and tired of hearing about everyone’s needs, and not personal development,” explained Erin Vihaan, a third year economics student. “What about Clayton Alderfer’s theory on Existence, Relatedness and Growth? How will people achieve self-transcendence without taking into account the maintenance of their close personal relationships?”

In related news, Carleton University was number two in the “Most Offended Campus” category by Maclean’s University Rankings, second only to the University of Ottawa.