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Crowfrog







Joined: 24 Apr 2002

Posts: 1179

Location: 494 Joined: 24 Apr 2002Posts: 1179Location: 494

Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2003 2:04 pm Post subject: Catharsis (Personal) I like the idea of hope. I like ideals, dreams that good can come out of humanity, that this species can rise above the petty brutality that has marked every instant of its existence. I wish these dreams were real.



This forum represents something very special. We have here a composition, not just of intelligence, which in the end means very little to a personality, but rather of heart. We have a collection of some of the best souls in humanity. We have here Wisdom. We should therefore represent what humanity strives to be.



For two years I was with this forum. I was kind, supportive, and entertaining. I was a friend. A short while ago I was in a very bad state. I lost my home and my grounding. I was in pain. In the midst of this a woman decided to have some fun. She baited and attacked me viciously. Had I been in a better state I may have been able to ignore the assault indefinitely. It was just words. As it was I gave her more than ample chance to stop her comments.



In the end I failed. I gave in to my pain and strived to make the verbal assaults against myself and my friends stop. I defended aggressively, but I was still defending. I was neither the first nor the last to do so. I wasn't strong enough to react calmly, and a small war occurred. It is the one thing I regret.



I was chastised for it, openly condemned for my actions. I was not helped, supported, or comforted by those I had spent two years calling friends, by the community I had placed such hope in. I was cast aside. It wasnít the womanís attacks that drove me into the shadows. It was the betrayal of the forum.



When Jennifer was attacked I stated in no uncertain terms that anyone who was attacked would be defended. I meant every word. It was not a sentiment others echoed.



I spent days unable to physically move. I didnít eat, didnít sleep, didnít breathe. I just lay on the floor trying to scrape myself back together. It was months before I finally returned, only to find that no one knew why I had disappeared.



The woman apparently left a short while after I did. She is missed by the forum, is comforted after being brutally assaulted, and is celebrated for her efforts on our behalf. And apparently the forum believes I owe her an apology, despite the reverse. I am sorry only that I disrupted the forum with my reaction to her games.



This pain is still with me. It likely always will be. I was a friend. My trust was unfounded, and if that can be said here where the best hearts reside, then it is true everywhere. I expected too much.



I will be condemned again for posting this. I will be told that I am wrong, that I am evil, that I am selfish. I will be told that I have the story backwards. I will be told that my beliefs about the world are wrong. I will be told, as before, to shut up and sit down and stop making trouble. I know the reaction will be negative, but I feel I have to write this. The alternative is to simply leave again, this time for good. As it is, I wouldn't be surprised if I were asked to do so.



This is not an attempt to start a war, an argument, or even a debate. This is just a frail attempt to release in a way that doesnít involve physical violence or debilitating injury to myself or anyone else.



I have been good to all of you. I have been supportive, I have been generous, I have been comforting and kind. I am all of these things in real life. I would think this would earn the benefit of the doubt, that I might have good reasons for everything I do. I stand by my record. I had hope. Some part of me must still or I wouldnít be bothering with this.



~Ellie

svzurich







Joined: 28 Jul 2002

Posts: 3782

Location: Las Vegas, NV Joined: 28 Jul 2002Posts: 3782Location: Las Vegas, NV

Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2003 2:16 pm Post subject:



Sorry love, perk back up soon dear.



In the mean time do I get to wear a neato Bennedict Arnold (if American), or George Washington (if British) tee? Or a Robert E. Lee one? Dammit, I want a cool traitor shirt to bask in!!!



Kimberly, who looks at history from more than one angle, and see B Arnold, RE Lee, and G Washington as all equal and cool if human.

_________________

Kimberly aka

Baroness Sylvia von Zurich (the only Goldwater Conservative) endorses the Meadow Party's Bill and Opus for the 2004 Presidential election! A sometimes dead cat and an overweight penguin who looks like a puffin couldn't possibly do any worse than a Shrub. *hugs Ellie tightly*Sorry love, perk back up soon dear.In the mean time do I get to wear a neato Bennedict Arnold (if American), or George Washington (if British) tee? Or a Robert E. Lee one? Dammit, I want a cool traitor shirt to bask in!!!Kimberly, who looks at history from more than one angle, and see B Arnold, RE Lee, and G Washington as all equal and cool if human._________________Kimberly akaBaroness Sylvia von Zurich (the only Goldwater Conservative) endorses the Meadow Party's Bill and Opus for the 2004 Presidential election! A sometimes dead cat and an overweight penguin who looks like a puffin couldn't possibly do any worse than a Shrub.

Jennifer Diane Reitz







Joined: 23 Apr 2002

Posts: 1308

Location: Aealaloka, Pentolamerkan CreatrixJoined: 23 Apr 2002Posts: 1308Location: Aealaloka, Pentolamerkan

Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2003 3:33 pm Post subject:



Can somebody refresh me on this matter? Last I remember, Ellie had come back to much welcomes, and I was happy she was back, and things moved on.



Basically, I am in a big, thick-headed 'Huh???' here, with a side of 'Whaaaaa?' and a dumbstruck look on my mug to boot. I know I have a bad memory, terrible, terrible memory, but I really am super lost here.



I like you Ellie very much. I don't want you to be sad!

_________________

Um...I am lost here. Did I miss something? Maybe I failed to read a thread or somesuch? When was Ellie attacked, and by who? I remember the troll attack we recently had from the ex-POE folks, and that was dealt with...I vaguely remember Ellie leaving for a bit, but my memory is fuzzy on the why, other than she had lost her home, and was upset. I thought it was something that had happened in her real-life experience, not on the forums?Can somebody refresh me on this matter? Last I remember, Ellie had come back to much welcomes, and I was happy she was back, and things moved on.Basically, I am in a big, thick-headed 'Huh???' here, with a side of 'Whaaaaa?' and a dumbstruck look on my mug to boot. I know I have a bad memory, terrible, terrible memory, but I really am super lost here.I like you Ellie very much. I don't want you to be sad!_________________ Jennifer Diane Reitz



'Giniko-chan'





Wizard CaT







Joined: 07 May 2002

Posts: 3166

Location: Earth Joined: 07 May 2002Posts: 3166Location: Earth

Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2003 4:35 pm Post subject: Jennifer Diane Reitz wrote: Um...I am lost here. Did I miss something? Maybe I failed to read a thread or somesuch? When was Ellie attacked, and by who? I remember the troll attack we recently had from the ex-POE folks, and that was dealt with...I vaguely remember Ellie leaving for a bit, but my memory is fuzzy on the why, other than she had lost her home, and was upset. I thought it was something that had happened in her real-life experience, not on the forums?



Can somebody refresh me on this matter? Last I remember, Ellie had come back to much welcomes, and I was happy she was back, and things moved on.



Basically, I am in a big, thick-headed 'Huh???' here, with a side of 'Whaaaaa?' and a dumbstruck look on my mug to boot. I know I have a bad memory, terrible, terrible memory, but I really am super lost here.



I like you Ellie very much. I don't want you to be sad!



Your not the only one. I don't know who Crowfrog is talking about either (though I seldom leave Gelatinous Discussions). Doesn't seem like the forum though

_________________

~Only in silence the word, only in dark the light, only in dying life: bright the hawk's flight on the empty sky.~ The Creation of …a

Your not the only one. I don't know who Crowfrog is talking about either (though I seldom leave Gelatinous Discussions). Doesn't seem like the forum though_________________~Only in silence the word, only in dark the light, only in dying life: bright the hawk's flight on the empty sky.~ The Creation of …a

CarthageBlackPanther







Joined: 30 Oct 2002

Posts: 818

Location: A giant bucket Joined: 30 Oct 2002Posts: 818Location: A giant bucket

Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2003 6:51 pm Post subject: *hugs Ellie*



I'm sorry for anything wrong you feel has been done you.



I don't personally remember any of what you refer to, though I do recall a reference in a now-deleted thread to owing someone an apology.



You have done a lot here, and said many wise things, and contributed much to our little community. It would be a great loss were you to leave.

_________________

Look... up in the sky, it's a bird, it's a plane no, it's a flying animal dong!



I do not believe in democracy on the wings of a B-52

Sparksol







Joined: 26 Apr 2002

Posts: 740

Location: Sitting in the State of Confusion. No, really. Joined: 26 Apr 2002Posts: 740Location: Sitting in the State of Confusion. No, really.

Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2003 8:03 pm Post subject:



I'm not sure what happened, since I never saw the thread that no longer exists, but know that we're here for you.

_________________



- Sparksol *Is here for support, so long as it is accepted*I'm not sure what happened, since I never saw the thread that no longer exists, but know that we're here for you._________________- Sparksol

ObakeTenshi







Joined: 24 Apr 2002

Posts: 1166

Location: sleeping in a pod within OooOOooOOooO Joined: 24 Apr 2002Posts: 1166Location: sleeping in a pod within OooOOooOOooO

Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2003 8:34 pm Post subject:







[pointless edit] 1100 posts

_________________

--Yas-chan--

^_^;

~~Your history doesn't matter...family is who takes care of you, day to day~~ --Yasui

Webcomic: I don't understand. But I'm here if you need to talk..._________________--Yas-chan--^_^;--YasuiWebcomic: http://rainwalks.keenspace.com

svzurich







Joined: 28 Jul 2002

Posts: 3782

Location: Las Vegas, NV Joined: 28 Jul 2002Posts: 3782Location: Las Vegas, NV

Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2003 8:42 pm Post subject: Yay Obake!!!!

_________________

Kimberly aka

Baroness Sylvia von Zurich (the only Goldwater Conservative) endorses the Meadow Party's Bill and Opus for the 2004 Presidential election! A sometimes dead cat and an overweight penguin who looks like a puffin couldn't possibly do any worse than a Shrub.

Cardboard Box







Joined: 27 Apr 2002

Posts: 456

Location: Paraparaumu, New Zealand Joined: 27 Apr 2002Posts: 456Location: Paraparaumu, New Zealand

Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2003 10:18 pm Post subject:

_________________

Rev. Cardboard Box, still seeking ful-fill-ment



"To communicate effectively is one of the most difficult acts for a human. Merely because we have the tools to do so does not mean we do it well." - G Baker I think Crowfrog might be referring to events back around the advent of the Paypal button. That's the only other big kerfuffle I can recall._________________Rev. Cardboard Box, still seeking ful-fill-ment Boxed Product: And there's more where that came from!"To communicate effectively is one of the most difficult acts for a human. Merely because we have the tools to do so does not mean we do it well." - G Baker

Alfador







Joined: 03 Jul 2002

Posts: 3138

Location: RL: Washington state, USA. IC: Somewhere in the Internet. Joined: 03 Jul 2002Posts: 3138Location: RL: Washington state, USA. IC: Somewhere in the Internet.

Posted: Wed Aug 06, 2003 11:16 pm Post subject: Jennifer Diane Reitz wrote: Um...I am lost here. Did I miss something? Maybe I failed to read a thread or somesuch? When was Ellie attacked, and by who? I remember the troll attack we recently had from the ex-POE folks, and that was dealt with...I vaguely remember Ellie leaving for a bit, but my memory is fuzzy on the why, other than she had lost her home, and was upset. I thought it was something that had happened in her real-life experience, not on the forums?



Can somebody refresh me on this matter? Last I remember, Ellie had come back to much welcomes, and I was happy she was back, and things moved on.



Basically, I am in a big, thick-headed 'Huh???' here, with a side of 'Whaaaaa?' and a dumbstruck look on my mug to boot. I know I have a bad memory, terrible, terrible memory, but I really am super lost here.



I like you Ellie very much. I don't want you to be sad!



I second all of this! *gives a HUG to boot*

_________________

Veni, vidi, vixen. (I came, I saw, I yiffed.)

Wizard CaT







Joined: 07 May 2002

Posts: 3166

Location: Earth Joined: 07 May 2002Posts: 3166Location: Earth

Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2003 12:10 am Post subject: Cardboard Box wrote: I think Crowfrog might be referring to events back around the advent of the Paypal button. That's the only other big kerfuffle I can recall.



Yea and she was banned wasn't she? I don't even remember that thread or that anyone was banned 'till Obake put whatever link that was and they mentioned it. Did I post in it ? Seriously who'd care about paypal anyway. Only every site has one, and some might have asked if they could donate.

_________________

~Only in silence the word, only in dark the light, only in dying life: bright the hawk's flight on the empty sky.~ The Creation of …a

Yea and she was banned wasn't she? I don't even remember that thread or that anyone was banned 'till Obake put whatever link that was and they mentioned it. Did I post in it? Seriously who'd care about paypal anyway. Only every site has one, and some might have asked if they could donate._________________~Only in silence the word, only in dark the light, only in dying life: bright the hawk's flight on the empty sky.~ The Creation of …a

svzurich







Joined: 28 Jul 2002

Posts: 3782

Location: Las Vegas, NV Joined: 28 Jul 2002Posts: 3782Location: Las Vegas, NV

Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2003 12:16 am Post subject: Y'all are off base and focusing on the wrong incident. Forget about it folks. Has nothing to do with Paypal and Snow's friend who left. Has to do with someone fairly well liked on the boards, and this situation and potential misunderstanding is hopefully a non-event now.

_________________

Kimberly aka

Baroness Sylvia von Zurich (the only Goldwater Conservative) endorses the Meadow Party's Bill and Opus for the 2004 Presidential election! A sometimes dead cat and an overweight penguin who looks like a puffin couldn't possibly do any worse than a Shrub.

Sparksol







Joined: 26 Apr 2002

Posts: 740

Location: Sitting in the State of Confusion. No, really. Joined: 26 Apr 2002Posts: 740Location: Sitting in the State of Confusion. No, really.

Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2003 12:20 am Post subject:



In that case.... I remain with my earlier statement about being there for support, for as long as it is needed and accepted.

_________________



- Sparksol Ű.Ű Ooh.In that case.... I remain with my earlier statement about being there for support, for as long as it is needed and accepted._________________- Sparksol

Cormallen







Joined: 28 Apr 2003

Posts: 592

Location: America's Wang. Joined: 28 Apr 2003Posts: 592Location: America's Wang.

Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2003 5:58 am Post subject: no idea what she was refering to. There's just some things that people aren't meant to understand.

_________________

"I'm not a malefactor, I'm a lagomorph." -Max



Cormallen Ti'Sindaria Ti'ShadowMoon Lo'Gavil Manu'Gaiden

Guardian of Faith, Servitor to the Lord of Metals, the Prime of Swords I'm more than happy to stand by Ellie, even though I haveidea what she was refering to. There's just some things that people aren't meant to understand._________________"I'm not a malefactor, I'm a lagomorph." -MaxCormallen Ti'Sindaria Ti'ShadowMoon Lo'Gavil Manu'GaidenGuardian of Faith, Servitor to the Lord of Metals, the Prime of Swords

Mel_the_Hobbit_Witch







Joined: 10 Mar 2003

Posts: 272

Location: the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning Joined: 10 Mar 2003Posts: 272Location: the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning

Posted: Thu Aug 07, 2003 1:17 pm Post subject:

_________________

"Speak softly and carry a big stick. And if that doesn't work, yell and scream and hit people over the head with said stick." O_o *hugs Ellie* I second what Jenny said though. But I'm still here for ya._________________"Speak softly and carry a big stick. And if that doesn't work, yell and scream and hit people over the head with said stick." O_o