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I thought we should check out some more obscure & adventurous styles of moustaches today…partly due to the dream I had last night. It was your classic “Viking Dream”, nothing original there. You know the one where you find yourself clad in Viking attire and pillaging a village of defenseless farmers? We’ve all had it but as soon as we wake it’s gone…but not this one. I woke with a full on Viking stache, braids and all! Of course this was only dream residue which slowly evaporated and I was just left staring in the mirror at my un-waxed stache spread every which way, unimpressed…ho-hum.

But the dream stuck with me. I found myself throughout the day Googling “Viking Moustache Styles”. Surely someone out there is rocking one…but no. All I found for images were costume wigs and fake facial fur. You would think in this current atmosphere of fury glory someone would be flaunting this bold fashion statement at a competition, yet I found nothing. Determined, I decided to focus on some moustache styles that you really can’t find nowadays in hopes that some inspiration will be gleaned from it and someday soon someone will be walking away with a 1st place medal for their version of Vlad The Destroyer, the ever festive Mistletoe, the Boxcar, or any of the rest we are about to be reintroduced to. If this list doesn’t move you to steal the stage at your next competition, briss, or wedding, at the very least it may inspire you to Viking raid a renaissance fair with some good friends, or hop a freight train to nowhere. Enjoy!

The Viking Moustache

tacky moustache wax This moustache begins on the upper lip where the whiskers are grown very long as to extend down each side of the mouth. It must be trained by parting the stache and combing from the center out past the lips. After a couple of months’ worth of growth you can begin braiding it. You can use small elastics to tie off the ends. I recommend the ones you may have used for your braces when you were 13. They can be found online real cheap and in many colors. An alternative to elastics is using a. Eventually you may want to add beads to the braids to add some instant longboat cred. This stache looks great in combination with a braided beard. Try this look at the next 80’s party you are invited to…80 AD.

Bullet Heads

This is a neatly trimmed, long whiskered moustache that is parted in the middle. The ends are curled into themselves with the aid of wax and formed into the shape of rounded…well, bullet heads. Clever name, no? This style was popular with barbershop quartets that wanted to standout when all the other groups were wearing handlebars. Eventually a Star Bellied Sneech effect happened and the two styles would go back and forth until the mighty handlebar won. I think the time is ripe to resurrect the Bullets!

A La Souvarov

This obscure stache is named after the Russian General Alexander Suvorov. A combination of moustache and sideburns- Side burns grow down a ½ inch below mouth level and then, like an upside down candy cane curve up and connect with the moustache. The moustache is comprised of two splayed wings with a curve into the burns. This style demands respect and dedication to maintain. [see video below]

The Boxcar

This style was popular during the great depression among hobos and ramblers. It was a real quick and cheap shave at the barbershop. Down in the South during the 1920’s when business was slow barbershops would have group deals for the hobos and tramps. For a nickel or in exchange for sweeping the floor they could get a quick shave and an un-styled rectangular “boxcar” stache. The name comes from the shape and the clientele.

The Mistletoe (aka: The Guy Fawkes)

This particular style consists of two narrow, crescent shaped inverted wings. Imagine if a crayon drawn seagull glued itself to your upper lip while you were standing on your head, and that is what this stache looks like. In fact, when asked about this particular “conversation piece” tell the asker that that is exactly what happened and watch their head explode. V is for Moustache.

The Regent

A rather elegant style of stache extending the top of the lip comprised of two splayed wings with a curve. If your upper lip decided to grow two fuzzy wings and fly up your nose this is how it would look pre-lift off.

The Major Moustache

(aka: The Double Boxcar)

This is a close, combed moustache comprised of two rectangular straight wings with a sloped shaven gap in between them at the center. Due to military regulation this style is one of the few options available to service men who have a tad more of an air for eccentric.

The Shermanic

A neatly clipped Meso-American pyramid shaped style of stache named after the 19th century American General Sherman who popularized the style…though good luck trying to find a picture of him sporting it! If your follicles were ever motivated to build a temple to the sun (or your nose) this is what it would look like.

Now Grow For It!

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Special thanks to Jazer & his wonderful Whiskers!