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Theresa May discovers the Speaker of the House has blocked her new vote.

May vs Bercow

00:00 - 00:03 So you can submit a new withdrawal bill tomorrow.

00:04 - 00:05 Phil's throwing another two billion at Arlene.

00:05 - 00:07 And we've bought Jacob Rees Mogg Dunkirk on DVD.

00:08 - 00:12 Assuming Corbyn whips like a wet fish again

00:12 - 00:15 A new Bill should scrape through by about three votes.

00:17 - 00:19 No changes. Submit the same Bill again.

00:19 - 00:21 The House must choose between my deal or chaos.

00:24 - 00:26 Prime Minister...

00:27 - 00:28 Bercow...

00:31 - 00:33 Bercow says you can't submit the same Bill again this session.

00:34 - 00:36 There need to be significant changes.

00:53 - 00:58 Lidington, Barclay, Leadsom, Hammond. Everyone else out.

01:13 - 01:15 What does that poisonous dwarf think he's doing?!

01:15 - 01:17 Does he WANT Boris Johnson to be PM?

01:18 - 01:23 Boris is probably wanking over this in the bogs as we speak.

01:25 - 01:28 Floppy haired twat.

01:29 - 01:31 He's had a haircut.

01:31 - 01:34 I had a plan!

01:34 - 01:37 Keep pushing this deal again and again

01:37 - 01:40 until the ERG got bored and caved in.

01:40 - 01:42 Prime Minister we could push Malthouse Plan B and...

01:42 - 01:46 Malthouse is sparkly unicorns, Barclay. What does it even mean?!

01:46 - 01:48 Prime Minister. Brexit Means Brexit and...

01:48 - 01:52 Don't you use that line on me you little shit.

01:53 - 01:54 I invented it!

01:56 - 01:57 'Brexit Means Brexit'

01:57 - 02:00 'Citizens of Nowhere'

02:00 - 02:03 'My deal or no deal'

02:04 - 02:08 If slogans were votes, Stephen

02:08 - 02:13 we wouldn't be paying for Belfast to get a new Nandos.

02:14 - 02:16 I could tell Arlene to fuck right off

02:17 - 02:21 and go back to joking about Corbyn being Stalin.

02:27 - 02:29 Do you know how stupid I'll look in Brussels?

02:30 - 02:34 I promised them I was the one who'd get this over the line.

02:34 - 02:36 'Strong and stable!'

02:41 - 02:42 I was GOOD as Home Secretary.

02:43 - 02:47 'We need to create a hostile environment for illegal immigrants!'

02:48 - 02:53 The blue rinse brigade lapped it up.

02:54 - 02:56 Now even Dominic Raab wants my job.

02:56 - 02:59 You're probably getting Rees-Mogg next, you know.

03:00 - 03:02 I bet he Googles nanny porn at work!

03:04 - 03:07 Don't worry. I'll show him Private Browsing.

03:14 - 03:17 Fucking Bercow. All those hours I put in with Arlene.

03:19 - 03:23 I even sang hymns with her. The rubbish ones.

03:25 - 03:26 "He's got the Whole World in His Hands"

03:31 - 03:33 "All Things Bright and Beautiful"

03:40 - 03:46 This party doesn't deserve me. This COUNTRY doesn't deserve me.

03:46 - 03:49 By Thatcher's heart I curse you...