The Wall Street “Day of Rage” protests taking a strong stand against [something the protesters will decide later, whatever man, you’re not the boss of me] are well into their first week, and it only took five days for them to attract Red Eye‘s Bill Schulz, who arrived with his own set of demands for Wall Street (“Bring Back Growing Pains!”) and coexisted peacefully with the protesters, until he was recognized.

Host-for-the-night Andy Levy introduced the show’s “smelliest correspondent,” who was unable to get several topless women to show off on camera, but did manage to get some understanding of what brought them there: “wealth disparities,” monetary inflation, and, well, topless ladies. He managed to deftly avoid being asked where he was from (“We’re on F–, er, Red Eye with Greg Gutfeld… it’s a voice of protest in a sea of infomercials”), until finally being recognized as a “piece of trash” from “Faux News.” The native inhabitants of Wall Street– clearly identifiable by their button-downs and haircuts– were much more hospitable to Schulz, however.

Schulz narrowed down the experience to “the smell of patchouli, body odor, and urine,” which the rest of the panel didn’t seem to put into question. While panelist Dana Vachon gave them the benefit of the doubt by noting that “if I graduated $100,000 in debt and a sociology degree… I’d feel like I’d been screwed, too,” the sympathy for the protesters more or less ended there.

The segment via Fox News below:



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