If you’re like me, you might also have to contend with some feelings of envy or, at the very least, inadequacy. Nina was going on a girls’ trip to Iceland and running a half-marathon in Hawaii. My plans, which included wiping bottoms and reading The Book with No Pictures for the 97th time, seemed embarrassing by comparison. I loved my kids — I had invited those dirty diapers and that hippo named Boo-Boo Butt into my life — but I loved Hawaii too. I wanted girls’ trips. I wanted freedom.

There’s a lot of emphasis, when you become a mother, on making new mom friends. You need fellow parents to hang with at the playground, or to confer with about sleep and feeding schedules. Much less attention is paid to keeping your non-mom friends, which is arguably more difficult and more important. “A friendship that used to be easy logistically, when you could meet up spontaneously on a Friday night, takes more effort in parenthood. But if there’s emotional connection and history, it would be a real tragedy to let it fade,” says Andrea Bonior, clinical psychologist and author of “The Friendship Fix: The Complete Guide to Choosing, Losing, and Keeping Up with Your Friends.” “You might not meet for a standing Friday night happy hour anymore, but this is an opportunity to let the friendship grow and take on a new form.”

The best thing you can do to preserve your relationships is to be honest and communicative from the get-go, says F. Diane Barth, psychotherapist and author of “I Know How You Feel: The Joy and Heartbreak of Friendship in Women’s Lives.” “You can say, ‘I miss you and I love you and I hate that I can’t see you more often. But I’m exhausted, and I don’t have a lot of time right now. I’d rather see you for half an hour than not at all,’” says Barth. “That’s much better than squirming around or making a date and then bailing on it.” And if you have geographic limitations — you can sneak away for an hour, but not for the two it would take to get across town to meet for brunch in your friend’s neighborhood — then say as much.

And while not all non-parents will be as baby-talk averse as Nina was, remember that your kids are not as interesting to anyone as they are to you. “A lot of women with young kids expect their friends will happily hang out with them and their kids,” Barth says. “Which can be fun — a little bit. But if you’re a single woman who wants to really talk to your friend, that’s probably not the best way to do it.”

Instead, think about what activities mattered to you before you had children, and consider focusing your friend-time on that. “Maybe you don’t want to give up your workouts, so you make a once-a-week gym date,” Bonior suggests. “Or maybe you take an hour a month to do volunteer work together. That way you get the double benefit of time with your friend and some personal enrichment.”