A new paper released by a joint study between the University of South Carolina School of Medicine, the Medical College of Virginia Campus and the Virginia Commonwealth University has confirmed that the THC in cannabis is without a doubt stimulating healthy cells within the body to seek out and fuck up cancerous ones.

The title of the research paper is indeed a mouthful: Δ9-Tetrahydrocannabinol-Induced Apoptosis in Jurkat Leukemia T Cells Is Regulated by Translocation of Bad to Mitochondria. Apparently they get paid to be good scientists at universities, but are terrible at communicating this stuff very well to broad audiences.

Hidden within the nearly incomprehensible language of the finding is this image which helps dumbshits like me laymen grasp the results without having to look up the definition of every third word. U0126 is a selective inhibitor that seems to benefit greatly from being paired with THC to tag team the cancer cells.

The key probably requires a PhD behind your name to fully understand, but the results were reproduced by three independent experiments. I’m not so sure what a Jurkat cell is all about, but killing them is apparently a good idea and THC is very good at it. Good luck understanding this:

Effects of THC on mitochondrial localization of Bad in THC-stimulated cells. A. Jurkat cells were treated with either 15 μmol/L LY294002 (LY) or 2 μmol/L H-89 in medium containing 10% FBS in the absence or presence of 10 μmol/L THC for a total 12 hours, after which the percentage of apoptotic cells were determined as described in Fig. 1A. Columns, mean of three separate experiments done in triplicate; bars, SD. *, P < 0.05, significantly less than values obtained for the treated cells with THC + LY294002. B. Cells were cultured with either 15 μmol/L LY294002 or 25 μmol/L U0126 in medium containing 10% FBS in the absence or presence of 10 μmol/L THC for a total 12 hours, after which Western analysis was used to monitor expression of phospho-Akt (Thr308), phospho-Akt (Ser473), and Akt. Akt served as a loading control. C. Cells were cultured as described in B, after which precleared cell lysates were incubated overnight with mouse monoclonal anti-Bad IgG conjugated to protein A-agarose beads. Immunoprecipitates were subsequently subjected to Western analysis to monitor the phosphorylation status of phospho-Bad (Ser112), phospho-Bad (Ser136), and phospho-Bad (Ser155). All sites were analyzed on a single blot. Cos cells were used as a positive control. Representative experiment. Two additional studies yielded equivalent results. D. Quantitative changes in Bad phosphorylation were determined by densitometric analysis of immunoblots. Columns, mean of three independent experiments done in triplicate; bars, SD. E. Jurkat cells treated as described in B, after which cells were adhered to slides by cytospin and subjected to double staining with anti-Bad antibodies and Cy2-labeled secondary antibodies (green) followed by a mitochondrion-specific dye (MitoTracker Deep Red 633) and then analyzed by confocal microscopy. Similar results were obtained in three independent experiments.

Apoptosis is the programmed death of cancer cells, which was highly increased under twelve-hour THC conditions in the test.

So there you have it “plant-derived cannabinoids, including Δ9-tetrahydrocannabinol (THC), induce apoptosis in leukemic cells, although the precise mechanism remains unclear.” Scientists have conclusively discovered a truth: Marijuana literally kills cancer cells.

I don’t always recommend twelve-hour smoke sessions, but if you have cancer: shoot the 420 rainbow.