Training camps are open for the World Cup of Hockey, which means apparently it’s time to slightly care about the World Cup of Hockey.

If you’re like us, you have more than a few questions about this mysterious tournament and all of its trappings. Allow us a moment to provide as many answers as we can.

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With that, here are 10 baffling questions about the World Cup of Hockey, answered …

1 – Should I care about this thing?

Depends on who you are and what you’re reading.

In monitoring the pre-tournament chatter from NHL.com, the answer here would be: “Yes, of course! This might be the single most important international hockey tournament until the next World Cup of Hockey. Olympics? You know what the Olympics are for? Sequins, curling and refusing to bend to our will. Screw’em!”

In monitoring the pre-tournament chatter from many hockey fans, the answer here would be: “Yes, but only to find out if all of our beloved players escape this gimmick unharmed for the regular-season. And then, maybe, to do a happy dance when our team wins something.”

In monitoring the pre-tournament chatter from the majority of hockey media, the answer here would be: “Yes … well, sure … I mean, it beats covering completely inconsequential and meaningless preseason games and practices. At least this has a [expletive] trophy, the whiff of nostalgic importance and a few fleeting narratives and highlights we can all focus on for a few weeks. Also, Toronto has great bars, and two words: PER. DIEM.”

In monitoring the pre-tournament chatter from Ken Campbell of The Hockey News:

Interesting how so many players are suddenly coming up with injuries preventing them from playing in the World Cash Grab of Hockey. — Ken Campbell (@THNKenCampbell) September 2, 2016





So where do I stand?

I’m down with it, ultimately.

Oh, it’s going to be hard navigating the perfect storm of prefabricated consequence from the NHL, the false sincerity about that consequence from players and the residual anger from Canadians kvetching about the sanctity of the World Cup and burning effigies of the U-23 team.

But it has a few things that are basically catnip for me. It’s hockey. It’s an all-star event. It’s something that, in theory, will bring fans from around the world to congregate and celebrate the sport I love. It’s on ESPN, which will be a cleansing experience on several levels. It’s given us fresh swag.

I’m also a rather easy lay for sporting events that prey on my jingoism and seeing the jingoism in others – I see you, everyone vs. Russia.

And, finally and most importantly, there will be at least one opportunity for the United States of America to beat Canada in Canada, which ranks somewhere around an all-the-meats pizza slice and a new season of CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM on my personal gratification list.

2 – OK, but what’s actually at stake here?

See, that’s where it gets a little hazy for me.

Does this tournament mean as much for the players as the Olympics? Hell naw. The Stanley Cup Playoffs? Nope. The NHL regular season? Based on the WCoH Flu that’s been spreading like Zika through veteran players that are more concerned with the upcoming 82 games, that’d be “no.”

The IIHF world championships? Maybe, although there’s a lot more history there, especially since this is a World Cup of Hockey In Name Only. The NHL All-Star Game? I mean, you’d be hard-pressed to find something that means less to these guys than the NHL All-Star Game. (I only say this because John Scott, inexplicably, did not make the World Cup of Hockey roster.)

So along with the money they’ll generate for the NHLPA for playing in the tournament, it’ll be a battle for national pride, bragging rights and the like, on a much lower scale than the Olympics. Which essentially breaks down three ways:

Everyone trying to embarrass Canada while playing in Canada. Canada trying to embarrass everyone while playing in Canada. The U-23 team trying to get through to the semifinals so they can face either the USA or Canada. Team Europe playing with a continental-sized chip on its shoulder for being the grab bag/potpourri entry, and going full seek-and-destroy on their group because of it.

Once this thing gets to the late stages of pool play and into the semifinals, I think we’ll see some competitive fire. Not because this thing is in any way as meaningful as their other hockey pursuits, but because there’s a Pavlovian response NHL players have to wearing their nation’s jersey on the ice in an elimination tournament.

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