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1. They Love Reading the Newspaper

Or playing in it…quite the same thing.

2. They Can Skateboard

Of course, on a parrot sized one.

3. They’ll Open Your Beer For You

Or any other carbonated drink.

4. They’re Great Caretakers

5. They Can Play Dead

Very Useful especially in the case of a zombie apocalypse.

6. They Love Scratches

7. They’re Creative About Modes of Transportation

I am clipped wings!! No problemo, I’ll hop on the turtle train.

8. They Have An Excellent Sense of Balance

Even on moving items.

9. They Understand Classical Music Sucks

10. They’ll Go To Battle For You

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As long as it is a pint-sized attacker, and they have their battle ax for sure.