A new study has come out with some very surprising results (insert sarcasm here). Sex and Alcohol rate way higher, in terms of things that make people happy, than kids and religion. The startling results of the study (still have not abandoned the sarcasm) are the brainchild of Carsten Grimm from the University of Canterbury in New Zealand, who fashioned the study.

Researchers used text messages to build up a map of what activities people ranked as bringing them the most happiness. The categories for determining happy activities were pleasure, meaning and engagement.

Sex topped all three categories.

Drinking alcohol and various other forms of prtying came in second on the pleasure scale but only tenth on the meaning scale according to DNA.

Also ranking noticeably low on the happiness scale were using Facebook and doing housework.

Feeling sick was lowest rated in terms of pleasure, it revealed.

Grimm used mobile-phone text-messaging to collect data on what people did during the day and how they felt about it, a technique called ‘experience sampling’.

Grimm told the Daily Mail for a piece entitled “This just in from the University of Useless Studies: We love sex more than housework”

“Those who tend to be high on all three orientations to happiness not only score high on life satisfaction, they also tend to have higher experiences of pleasure, meaning, engagement and happiness in their daily lives. This means that being able to seek happiness in different ways may enrich your everyday experience and increase your overall well-being.”

Top-ranked activities according to the survey

1: Sex

2: Drinking alcohol

3: Volunteering

4: Meditating/religion

5: Caring for children

6: Listening to music

7: Socialising

8: Hobbies

9: Shopping

10: Gaming

Worst-ranked activities are

1: Recovering from sicknes

2: Facebook

3: Housework

4: Studying

5: Texting

6: Going to lecture

7: Paid work

8: Commuting

9: Computer work

10: Washing