Roses are red,

Graham looks tasty.

Mason lacks patience

And always acts hasty.

Alana’s a bitch

Who I promised to kill.

I think she’s just jealous

‘Cause I’m besties with Will.

Chiyoh is chilly

And scary as fuck.

She either adores me

Or thinks that I suck.

Jack never smiles,

Katz was too smart,

Zeller and Price

Made bro-love an art.



Chilton’s unbearable,

Gideon’s wry,

du Maurier’s scathing,

Sarcastic and spry.

Reba was tragic,

Freddie’s a snoop.

Francis the Dragon

Threw Jack for a loop.

I love all my friends,

And they kinda love me.

I’m a cute little duckling

As glad as can be.

But Will is the target

Of my great design

So will you, dear Graham,

Be my Valentine?

