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What Kind of Man Do You Want to Marry?



(Candy Bar Activity)

Have each girl choose a candy bar when she arrives, but don't let her eat it until later (See list below. If you have more than 19 girls, have two of each kind or make up your own). Then describe what kind of man each candy bar symbolizes. Describe attitudes toward work, family, womanhood, motherhood, the Church, honoring the Priesthood, children, etc. After discussing every candy bar man, explain that choosing which man to marry should be done with much more thought than choosing a candy bar. Gather suggestions from the girls or hand out lists of things the girls might consider looking for in a husband. Pass out stationary so each girl can make a list of qualities she's looking for in her future husband.

Remind the girls that it isn't enough just to marry a nice guy, or just a member, or just a returned missionary, or just to get married in the temple. They should make sure that the man they marry is going to be strong and active in the Church and that he has a testimony. Getting married to a man only because he is handsome, strong, athletic, rich, a good dancer, a good kisser, funny, or well-educated is not enough. Though it is nice to have those things, it is more important that you share the same goals and values.

Discuss with the girls that they aren't the only ones choosing a spouse. The young men they are looking at are also looking at them. If they want a solid member of the Church, a returned missionary, a smart, fun, optimistic, creative person to marry, they must make themselves attractive to that type of person by being or doing those things themselves.

Be careful as you present each candy bar man that you don't imply that the girl chose or will choose that kind of man just because she chose that candy bar. Be sensitive to how each man is presented. Some girl's father may partially match one of them. Explain that each girl needs to be wise, think about what she really wants, discuss her choice with family and good friends, and pray to Heavenly Father for guidance when making this crucial decision. She should pick the best man for her.

Have candy bars for refreshments.

Decorate with candy bars, cartoon men, question marks, wedding decorations, bells, doves, netting and lights wrapped together, or pictures of temples, etc.

Candy Bar Men

Disclaimer: These candy bar men have a hodge-podge of characteristics that I have seen or heard about. These men are not designed to match any real individual, living or dead, and should not be taken as such. These candy bar men are designed to show how each person is a mixture of good and bad traits and to help girls decide which traits they want and which ones they don't.

Oh Henry!--He's nice, honest, but forgetful. He prefers to watch TV rather than have Family Home Evening. He's not very committed to the Church. If he stays up late on Saturday, he doesn't mind missing Church, but he will go at least half of the time and take the kids to activities and chaperone dances. He married you in the temple, but you haven't been there together in several years.

SNICKERS --Anytime you talk about the Church, he makes wisecracks about Joseph Smith or things that are hard for him to believe. He's never read the Book of Mormon. He is a good provider. He is a great kisser. He likes to tell jokes which are pretty funny unless they're about the Church. He's great with kids and your kids adore him, but they're adopting his attitude about the Church. You had a beautiful wedding in a garden. You hoped he'd join the Church because he played basketball with the missionaries on their P-day, but now you think that maybe it was just because he liked basketball.

Idaho Spud --He's been a member all of his life and all of his family are members. He's a hard, honest worker. He's got a strong and simple faith in the Gospel. He's not a terrific dancer, but he honors his priesthood and can give your children blessings when they're sick. He's baptized all of your children so far. He went on a mission and married you in the temple. Now he's balding a little bit, has a pooch, and needs glasses, but he's trustworthy and respectful.

MARS Bar--He's a rocket scientist, really. He loves physics and math. He's also kind of a nut. He's got a quirky sense of humor that not everyone understands, but you like it. He likes camping with the Cub Scouts and loves to design Pinewood Derby cars. He also teaches Gospel Doctrine and seems to know everything about Church History. He has to work late on Friday nights sometimes, but he always makes it up to you. You married in the temple and attend about every other month.

Chuckles --This guy wasn't the cutest guy you dated, but he was the most fun. He never took you out to just a dinner and a movie. He was too creative for that. He proposed to you when you were eating a candlelight dinner on a road median. You found the ring underneath your Washington D.C. temple-shaped strawberry shortcake (where you later married--in the temple, not the cake). He even brought along some ring cleaner so it wouldn't be sticky when he slipped it on your finger. He says he wants 15 kids. You joke with him that you'll have the first eight and he can have the rest. He fun to tease and joke around with. He giggles if you make him laugh really hard. You're not rich, but you get by on his salary.

m & m (More and More)--This guy is very ambitious. He goes to work at 7 am and comes home at 9 pm. Sometimes he works seven days a week, even if he doesn't have to. He even brings his work along on family vacations. You never date anymore. He's too tired and busy for that. You are fairly well off and you have a nice house, but you'd rather that he spent more time with you and the kids. What really breaks your heart is that your children ask, "When is daddy coming back?" You got married in the temple, but you wonder if he remembers what that means, since he doesn't seem to value his family here on earth.

Mamba --this guy was on the BYU ballroom dance team and is a terrific dancer. You go dancing every week. He likes having group parties at your house. He is spontaneous and fun. Sometimes he surprises you by bringing home people for dinner without giving much warning, if any. He is a great father and takes his kids on outings with Dad once a month or so. He isn't that great at paying bills, going grocery shopping, or balancing the checkbook, so you learned to do that. He has a sincere testimony of the Gospel and you got married in the temple.

Granola Bar --This guy loves health food. He's in great shape. He avoids refined sugar, white flour, and exercises daily. He cares about the environment and wears a Save the Whales T-shirt frequently. He loves to learn. He's a little unconventional, but he's very nice. Many of your family activities are athletic ones. You ride bikes and bring your own cloth grocery bags when you shop. He has a testimony of the Book of Mormon and loves doing missionary work. You married in the temple.

Charleston Chew --This guy loves the night club scene. That was fun when you were dating, but now you wish he'd also take on responsibilities for taking care of the house, the kids, etc. He was a member of the Church when you met, but he had a small Word of Wisdom problem, chewing tobacco. You thought he would quit after you got married, but now he drinks, too. Because of that, he feels uncomfortable going to church. It looks like you'll never get to the temple.

S k i t t l e s --This guy is very handsome and romantic, but not a member. He thought marriage was "Somewhere Over the Rainbow." Now that he sees that marriage is also a lot of hard work, he doesn't seem interested. He talks about being single again. He doesn't want kids and thinks that you, as a woman, should do all of the work in the house, on the relationship, and everything. He figures, "Hey, I'm earning the money around here!"

Mr. Goodbar --This guy is sweet, handsome, and strong. He is a returned missionary and loves learning about the Gospel. He has very bad vision and already has the extra large print scriptures (the High Priest Version). Without his glasses, he can only make out big, fuzzy, colored blobs around him. He loves children and respects motherhood. He hasn't decided on what he wants to do with his career yet, but he's a hard worker and you're getting by. You got married in the temple.

100 Grand --This guy grew up in a very affluent home. He has a lot of earning potential, but he's not earning much right now. The problem is, he's used to a more affluent style of living and is having a hard time staying within your means. He has a testimony of the Church, but he decided that it was more important to graduate from college than to go on a mission. He took you to the temple.

5TH AVENUE --This guy inherited a lot of money from a rich uncle. He is not a member, but is very charming and handsome. You figured that since he was such a nice guy, he was sure to join the Church. He lets you go to Church and supports you in your callings, but he rarely goes himself. His social circle has lots of parties where they drink champagne. He drinks and suggests that once or twice wouldn't really hurt you, but he isn't pushy. Most of the other women there don't have children or have only one or two. They wonder what you do with yourself all day with 5 children and no nanny.

Big Hunk--This guy was a quarterback at your college. He joined the Church while he was there. You introduced yourself to him on his first Sunday in the student ward. He was good looking and buff. You got married before he had been a member for a year and you are anxiously preparing to go to the temple together. It's hard for him to go to Church every Sunday since now he's playing in the NFL. He works a lot of Sundays and Mondays, but he still manages to get to sacrament meeting most of the time and he reads his scriptures a lot on Sundays. He tells you that when he retires from the game, he'll do charity work and have Sundays off. You're well off and he doesn't mind paying tithing even though it is a huge chunk of money. He loves kids and is so excited that you're expecting a baby soon.

SKOR --This guy is very handsome and cool. He loves sports, especially soccer. He hopes to own a Baskin-Robbins ice cream shop one day. He was a big flirt when you were dating and was physically affectionate with lots of girls. Though he was always morally clean, you still wished that he had saved his kisses and other forms of physical affection for you. He served an honorable mission and took you to the temple.

ZERO --This guy never studied in school and barely graduated. His idea of a good job is working at McDonald's during a non-lunch or dinner rush shift. He doesn't know what to do with his life and he doesn't really care. He spends his time hanging out with a few friends, laughing at old jokes, and watching people. He is a member, but rarely goes. He likes to sing and he could be good looking if he took better care of himself. He wrote romantic things to you in letters and you thought that they were all true. You felt sure that if you could just influence him for good, he could turn his life around. Unfortunately, you married him before he turned it around and he still hasn't changed.

Milky Way --This guy has spectacular dreams. He wants to be a movie star. He wants to be unbelievably rich and tremendously famous. He wants to own a huge, richly decorated home. He also sees himself as a very successful player in the NBA, or maybe in the NFL. Self-esteem is not one of his weaknesses. However, he lacks a plan which would help him reach is dreams, so they are merely fantasies, not real goals. His reality is that he hasn't even graduated from college or a vocational school, though he has attended college for 10 years. You married him, believing in him and his dreams, but as it is now, you're still living the poor student life. If it weren't for your job, you wouldn't have any money at all. He's a great father and very smart and funny. He's just not focused on fulfilling his dreams.

L i f e s a v e r s --This man is a lifeguard. He has a great body, a great tan, a great smile, and a helpful personality. He also is a wonderful home teacher and missionary. He has shared the Gospel with many of his friends. So far, 30 have joined the Church. He has a very strong testimony of the truthfulness of the Gospel and it is visible in everything he does. You met him when you were out dancing with your friends. He saw that you weren't having much fun dancing with the man who kept asking you to dance, and realized you were too nice to tell him no. So he stepped in and asked you for the next slow song. You had a lot in common and felt totally comfortable with each other, in an exciting sort of way. When you returned to your friends, you were almost out of breath and deliriously happy. You exchanged phone numbers, dated for 8 months, met each other's families and got engaged. Of course, you got married in your favorite temple. Four children later, you are still madly in love and very happy.

Hot Tamales --This guy was voted "most attractive man" his senior year of high school. He knows he's good looking and considers himself a valuable commodity. However, once you get to know him, he can be down to earth and fun. He joined the Church when he was seventeen and none of his family are members. He's a great dancer and singer. He is reserving his kisses for engagement at least. He wants to be an electrical engineer when he grows up, but right now he's a waiter, putting himself through school. He is trying to avoid school-debt, but it looks like he'll take out at least $5,000 in student loans next semester. He had to cut down on his hours at work so he'd have time to study. He thinks womanhood is very sacred and is excited about being a daddy. He wants to learn how to play the piano. Right now, all he can play is "Heart and Soul." You got married in the temple. You live near his parents, who like the family over for Sunday dinner during Church time. It's a tough balancing act.

These candies would also work well: Sugar Daddy, Sugar Baby, Nerds, Sweetarts, Almond Joy, Mounds, etc.

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