TRIGGER WARNING Many readers may find the following accounts to be graphic and/or disturbing. Many readers may find the following accounts to be graphic and/or disturbing.

There are many people in our porn-saturated society who think that porn is harmless, personal entertainment.

They often buy into the idea that porn performers truly are the insatiable sex-craving gods and goddesses they are portrayed to be. Regardless of all the overwhelming research and countless personal accounts exposing the dark reality of the porn industry, many still buy into the fantasy that the porn industry works hard to maintain.

A lot of people have a similar mindset as this guy who messaged us on Facebook:

“Porn hurts nobody.” “They do it because they like to do it.”

These are popular perceptions when it comes to pornography, however, perception is not always reality. The fact is that the porn industry is filled with violence, drugs, coercion, disease, and exploitation. And while active porn performers rarely, if ever, speak out due to fear of being blackballed in the industry or being discriminated against, the majority of those very same performers inevitably end up speaking out on their real experiences once they leave the industry. These personal accounts are never pretty.

Watch Jessica’s Story – My Life in the Porn Industry

To put an end to the “glamorous” and “sexy” facade that so many people in our society buy from the porn industry, we’ve assembled stories from ten former porn actresses and their stomach-turning reflections on their time doing porn.

These stories are from women who have left the industry, but if you’d like to read stories from former male performers, click here.

*READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED: We did our best to find quotes that weren’t too explicit while still preserving the extreme nature of the stories. Regardless, many may find the following accounts to be graphic, disturbing, and/or triggering.*



Alex

“[One particular film] was the most brutal, depressing, scary scene that I have ever done. I have tried to block it out from my memory due to the severe abuse that I received during the filming. The [male performer] has a natural hatred towards women, in the sense that he has always been known to be more brutal than ever needed. I agreed to do the scene, thinking it was less beating except a punch in the head. If you noticed, [he] had worn his solid gold ring the entire time and continued to punch me with it. I actually stopped the scene while it was being filmed because I was in too much pain.”

*FTND Note: In our research, we found that the obscenity of the film Alex is talking about caused the distributor to forego covering any further releases from the film studio. A critic on a popular porn review site wrote that the film was “one of the most morally repugnant pornographic movies I have seen” and “is the sort of movie that the government would cite when trying to arrest pornographers and outlaw pornography.”

Alexa

“Like most porn performers, I perpetuated this lie. One of my favorite things to say when asked if I liked doing a particular scene was, “I only do what I like! I wouldn’t do it if I didn’t like it!” (I would say this with a big fake smile and giggle.) What a total lie! I did what I had to do to get “work” in porn. I did what I knew would help me gain “fame” in the industry.”

*FTND Note: Vanessa Belmond (real name) is now outspoken on the harms of the porn industry and has been featured in several news sources. Click here to hear more of her story.

Jessi

“It was the most degrading, embarrassing, horrible thing ever. I had to shoot an interactive DVD, which takes hours and hours of shooting time, with a 104 degree fever! I was crying and wanted to leave but my agent wouldn’t let me, he said he couldn’t let me flake on it. I also did a scene where I was put with male talent that was on my ‘no list’. I wanted to please them so I did it. He stepped on my head […] I freaked out and started bawling; they stopped filming and sent me home with reduced pay since they got some shot but not the whole scene.”



Andi

“After a year or so of that so-called ‘glamorous life,’ I sadly discovered that drugs and drinking were part of the lifestyle. I began to drink and party of out control—cocaine, alcohol, and ecstasy were my favorites. Before long, I turned into a person I did not want to be. After doing so many hardcore scenes, I couldn’t do it anymore. I just remember being in horrible situations and experiencing extreme depression and being alone and sad.”

*FTND Note: Andi left the porn industry in 2010 and joined the Pink Cross Foundation, a group of ex-porn performers that speak out on the harms of pornography. However, in 2014, Andi announced on her Twitter page that she was returning to porn and is still active in the industry.

Regan

“I got the **** kicked out of me… most of the girls start crying because they’re hurting so bad… I couldn’t breathe. I was being hit and choked. I was really upset and they didn’t stop. They kept filming. [I asked them to turn the camera off] and they kept going.”



Anita

“I have been a performer now for 14 years in the adult film industry in many countries, states…all over the place. I have worked for most of these companies, and I was around for the once-a-month HIV-positive outbreak in ’98. Yes, I was, and I got to see those performers that nobody knows about—that nobody claims that got HIV, that are not a part of the statistics—walk out the door as non-performers, not to be counted. Yeah, there are a lot of cover-ups going on. There is a lot of tragedy. There are a lot of horrible things.”

Jan

“Of course I lied to my fans. I led them to believe I lived a fantasy life which was far from the truth. I fed into their fantasies. I said I wanted sex 24/7 and made it seem like I absolutely loved what I did and was living this happy life. I gave them hope and insight into their relationships by telling them what to do. I started to feel like an important nobody, they knew Elizabeth [the porn star], but they would never care to know Jan [the real me].

I had to do whatever the producer pleased and I had to accept it or else no pay. Sometimes you would get to a gig and the producer would change what the scene was supposed to be to something more intense and again if you didn’t like it, too bad, you did it or no pay.”

*FTND Note: Jan Villarubia (real name) eventually left the porn industry and worked with the Pink Cross Foundation, an organization that helped to rehabilitate former performers, and now independently works on books and documentary features to spread awareness on the harms of the porn industry and help other porn performers get out of the business.

Jessie

“People in the porn industry are numb to real life and are like zombies walking around. The abuse that goes on in this industry is completely ridiculous. The way these young ladies are treated is totally sick and brainwashing. I left due to the trauma I experienced even though I was there only a short time. I hung out with a lot of people in the adult industry, everybody from contract girls to gonzo actresses. Everybody has the same problems. Everybody is on drugs. It’s an empty lifestyle trying to full up a void. I became horribly addicted to heroin and crack. I overdosed at least three times, had tricks pull knives on me, have been beaten half to death…”



Jenna

“It was torture for seven years. I was miserable, I was lonely, I eventually turned to drugs and alcohol and attempted suicide. I knew I wanted out, but I didn’t know how to get out.”

*FTND Note: Brittni Ruiz (real name) did eventually get out and now uses her story to spread awareness on the harms of the porn industry.

Genevieve

“The abuse and degradation was rough. I sweated and was in deep pain. On top of the horrifying experience, my whole body ached, and I was irritable the whole day. The director didn’t really care how I felt; he only wanted to finish the video.”

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The harms to performers, relationships, and society

The harms of porn aren’t just confined to the ones in front of the camera or behind the screen. There is a growing body of research that shows how consumers, relationships, and society are all harmed by porn. This isn’t a moral argument, it’s simply something to consider, given the facts. Click here to read more about the proven harmful effects of porn, and make a decision for yourself.

Consider before consuming, and fight for real love.