Welcome back to Groundhog Day, which is temporarily hosted on a site you've never heard of! Yes, after Google Photos stopped letting me upload images, I found somewhere else to turn to—and the format is just about perfect. It would be better if the text wasn't on top of the images but nothing is ever perfect. Also when I zoom in on he images to add the descriptions, they're really stretched horizontally, so if they're like that for you too let me know.



Anyway, it's round 9 of 10 and the Kaweskar are still leading with only 1.5 victory points. This is still anyone's game—can another civ pull ahead?

The second cities go out, and Song chooses one of their more unusual spots, although I think I've seen it once before. Everything else looks pretty ordinary.

The fist war breaks out on turn 26 when two coalitions start, one each against New Zealand and Ethiopia. Kasanje has inserted itself into both of them, which might be a bad idea.

As it turns out, it's a good idea, and Kasanje captures Harar. Addis Ababa is in trouble as well, and if it goes down before turn 34 we could see a record early elimination.

Six turns later, the Khamug-Mongols seem to have backed off from the attack, but Ireland has joined the war, so Haile Selassie isn't out of the woods yet.

Now bored of Ethiopia, Jamukha turns his sights against North Korea. I don't expect anything to come of this though, because the Khamug-Mongol army isn't big enough to take any cities.

Harappa declares war on Kasanje! The defenses around Angoleme look sufficient for now, but will they hold?

The Seleucids attack Paraguay! I'm surprised it took this long for a war involving Paraguay to start, given how Solano Lopez usually kicks off each round.

The wars just keep pouring in as Austria attacks France! This war usually goes nowhere though.

Several more civs, including Ireland and the Evenks, join the war against Paraguay! Solano Lopez is now under attack from every direction; can he hold the line?

He can't! The Seleucids storm into Encarnación, wiping out all Paraguayan resistance.

What's this? The Khamug-Mongols have given away Manan to North Korea in a peace treaty! Kim Il-Sung burns the city rather than risk losing land he can't defend.

North Korea makes peace with Kasanje and gets another city, this time Harar, which they also choose to burn. Wow.

And just like that, Seleucus raises his flag over Asunción, and Solano Lopez of Paraguay is eliminated in 21st place! But as soon as one war ends, another starts as the Tupi declare war on Kasanje.

Ireland suddenly sweeps into Harar, taking it from North Korea and saving the city from destruction! Incredible!

Ethiopia is still at war with Ireland, however, and thanks to this twist of fate they just got their second city back! Harar is under its true owner once again!

Of course it quickly flips back to Ireland, but now Brian Boru has to worry about the Seleucids and Kasanje as well. We'll see if he can hold onto everything...

Well, I think we can safely say that Ethiopia won't be a threat much longer. North Korea is sending a force that's more than big enough to wipe out Haile Selassie forever.

Harappa attacks Kasanje a second time as New Zealand goes for the capital. Kasanje Kalunga may well be the next one to go after Haile Selassie.

Ireland snipes Angoleme! Brian Boru is really holding his own this round; I haven't seen him perform like this before.

Anyway, it's time for the turn 100 stats! The Seleucids have the most troops by a decent margin—certainly by more than we usually see at turn 100.

Harappa and Song are pulling slightly ahead of the pack in technologies, but it's still too early to judge who might run away with it.

The Seleucids also have a MASSIVE lead in production. Seriously, I don't think I've ever seen such a margin this early in the game.

Anyway, we return to the action in time to see New Zealand capture Kasanje, eliminating Kasanje Kalunga of Kasanje in 20th place. (I heard you like Kasanje, so I got you a Kasanje so you can Kasanje while you Kasanje.)

10 turns later, Song snipes Addis Ababa, eliminating Haile Selassie of Ethiopia in 19th place. I'm amazed he held out that long.

Zhao Kuangyin doesn't get to celebrate for long, however, because the Seleucids and Teotihuacan just declared war on him!

Meanwhile, Austria attacks Rome, and it looks like Maria Theresa might be able to triumph through sheer numbers alone.

Seleucus wastes no time striking against Song, capturing Lin'an only six turns into the war! Those pikemen whose name I can never remember are really packing a punch right now.

North Korea joins in against Song! Addis Ababa is probably fucked.

And sure enough, Rome falls. Austria still has some work to do before Augustus Caesar is eliminated completely, but the hard part is over.

North Korea takes Addis Ababa as more nations pile on against Song...

...And Seleucus takes Bianjing, eliminating Zhao Kuangyin of Song in 18th place. RIP.

But if you saw something earlier that I didn't comment on, you'd know that Ireland is at war with North Korea. And because they now share a border, Brian Boru has captured Addis Ababa!

The Seleucids turn against their next target: the Khamug-Mongols. The path is clear—can they take Ba'arin?

Ireland and New Zealand team up against the Tupi! Yperoig has already been pummeled by citadels, so this is the last thing Cunhambebe needs.

North Korea joins the war against the Khamug-Mongols! Surprisingly, the Seleucids don't seem to be making a concerted war effort.

The coalition has broken as New Zealand attacks Ireland, even as both nations continue to attack the Tupi! This might actually save Cunhambebe in the short term... in the long term, he's better start reading up on how to speak Kiwi.

Tupinambá falls to New Zealand before Yperoig does, and Seddon razes the city. Ouch.

Suddenly, Seleucus remembers he's at war and sends some troops to take Ba'arin. The city quickly falls, eliminating Jamukha of the Khamug-Mongols in 17th place.

North Korea joins the war against the Tupi, as though Cunhambebe didn't already have enough to worry about.

France ends its war with Austria and gives away Lyon, but as usual Clemenceau's UA bugs out and takes the tile Lyon is built on. This always drives me nuts until someone comes along and cleans it up.

And finally New Zealand takes Yperoig, eliminating Cunhambebe of the Tupi in 16th place.

The Harappa takes Angoleme, striking Ireland its first major blow so far this game.

But things are about to get a lot worse for Brian Boru, because the Seleucids and North Korea just joined the war against him! This is going to hurt. A lot.

Meanwhile, it seems France is at war with the Toltecs, and they managed to capture Tulancingo.

The Seleucids immediately begin to eat into Ireland, taking Addis Ababa.

It doesn't take long before Corcaigh falls as well, and Seleucus chooses to raze the city. In the background, the Kaweskar declare war on North Korea.

Just one turn later, Dublin falls! Only Harar remains! Seleucus has made short work of Ireland; I'm impressed.

New Zealand attacks North Korea! This may be a mistake, as Kim Il-Sung has the larger navy in the area; in fact, he's already dealing damage to Napier.

But North Korea also has to worry about the Kaweskar, who just captured Nampo, so perhaps New Zealand has the right idea after all.

And finally the Seleucids take Harar, eliminating Brian Boru of Ireland in 15th place. Seleucus is really snowballing here—and he won the previous round as well. This could be interesting.

The somewhat late turn 200 stats interrupt our broadcast to reveal that the Seleucids still have a large lead in military manpower.

The Seleucids are also starting to pull ahead in science, developing a three-tech lead over the runners-up Austria and New Zealand.

And their production lead is absolutely astronomical. It's only turn 225, and I usually refrain from making predictions so early, but bar a catastrophe I don't see how Seleucus could fail to tie or win this round.

Seleucus immediately starts throwing his weight around again, declaring war on Austria. The front is narrow, however, so Maria Theresa might be able to defend herself.

Meanwhile, the Toltecs give away Huapalcalco to Vermont in a peace treaty, and Austria immediately attacks Vermont. Wait, didn't the same thing happen in round 7?

Austria quickly takes Huapalcalco, although it looks like Yakutia took a shot at capturing it as well.

Vermont makes peace with Yakutia and gives away Burlington. Ethan Allen is... special.

Meanwhile, it seems New Zealand is at war with Harappa, but the only city they've managed to take is the island colony of Dholavira.

The Seleucids found the world congress, bringing the world into the next stage of its political development.

And then turn 300 arrives! The stats show that the Seleucids' military lead has only continued to grow.

The Seleucids' tech lead has also grown from three techs to TEN. In 75 turns. Whatb the fuck.

And their production lead remains astronomical. I just don't see how they can lose this.

Harappa makes peace with New Zealand and gives away Angoleme and Ganeriwala. Ouch. That's like half their empire.

Seddon then turns on his next target: the Goths. Remember them? Yeah, they're in this game.

Gothiscandza quickly falls, and something tells me it won't be the last Gothic city to do so.

Seleucus wins the worlds fair by a country mile. Wow.

New Zealand captures and razes Reccopolis. Will they go for Árheimar?

Harappa gains a city to offset some of the ones they lost when North Korea hands them Hamhung in a peace treaty. Lol

North Korea gives away another city, this time to the Kaweskar. Way to throw away everything Kim...

New Zealand then attacks North Korea again, and this time it will probably be a death blow.

Sure enough, New Zealand easily takes Pyongyang, eliminating Kim Il-Sung of North Korea in 14th place.

The Seleucids finally begin to make headway against Austria, capturing Rome! But can they push farther?

Maybe, because they got some backup—Yakutia and Rome have joined the war!

New Zealand, meanwhile, assaults its next target: Yakutia. Burlington probably isn't going to last too long.

Nope. It didn't.

Yakutia begins to chip away at the Austrian Antarctica Archipelago, taking Klagenfurt!

Teotihuacan still thinks Austria is scary though, and gives away Cholula in a peace treaty.

Yakutia takes Linz as well. Perhaps if they take enough worthless snow cities, it will eventually make up for Burlington.

WHAAAAAT!? The Kaweskar had bombarded Cholula down to zero HP, but they didn't have a melee unit... and Yakutia captured it with a scout! Unbelievable! (For the record, the Seleucids peaced out with Austria a while ago now.)

The turn 400 stats continue the trends of each previous set. That is not a military you want to fuck with.

The tech lead has also grown from 10 techs to 15.

And the Seleucids' production is still astronomical and growing all the time.

The Seleucids decide to display that might by attacking the Evenks. Tura falls on the very first turn of the war.

One turn later, Baykit falls as well, eliminating Bombogor of the Evenks in 13th place.

The Seleucids absolutely dominate another international project. Surprise surprise.

While I wasn't looking, Austria took Antium, eliminating Augustus Caesar of Rome in 12th place. RIP.

Holy fucking shiiiiit! The Seleucids pull off another first turn capital capture, declaring war on Austria and taking Vienna immediately! Graz also fell on the first turn of the war, making the feat even more impressive. I think it's safe to say: the Seleucids are going to win this round.

Vienna flips once, and then Bregenz falls as well. Austria is just collapsing like a house of cards.

Salzburg falls! There's just nothing Maria Theresa can do...

Meanwhile, Vermont declares war on the Toltecs again while the Seleucids look on.

Seleucus continues his rampage, taking Huapalcalco. Only a few cities remain...

Sensing weakness, France attacks Austria in an effort to regain the city it gave away. However, the defensive strength of the city might be too high for crossbowmen and galleasses.

France's plans are further thwarted by a DOW from New Zealand. I don't expect this to end well for Clemenceau.

And this is going to be even worse! The Seleucids have practically taken Paris already!

Suddenly, Austria snipes Paris, kicking all the Seleucid troops out (since they made peace already), and then the city is recaptured by France! That was unexpected...

And then the Seleucids sweep in and take Paris, and this time there's no hope of recapture.

Finally, Yakutia snipes Tulancingo, eliminating Clemenceau of France in 11th place.

The Seleucids attack their next target: Harappa. Expect major destruction very, very soon.

But first, Vermont has captured Tula, eliminating Xochitl of the Toltecs in 10th place.

The first casualty of the Seleucid-Harappa war is Lothal. Harappa and Mohenjo-Daro are both at zero HP and could fall at any moment.

Two turns later, Harappa, Mohenjo-Daro, and Hamhung all fall at once. Went-Antu of Harappa is eliminated in 9th place.

The Seleucids wait only four turns before turning their wrath against the Kaweskar. Prepare for blood...

Blood is indeed shed as Chongjin falls on the second turn of the war.

Two more turns pass before Nampo falls as well.

And then it only takes six more for Seleucus to capture Jetarkte itself. Wow.

Malte falls... is Seleucus going for the kill?

It sure seems like it. Jautok and Caicaixixais have no both been taken...

And Kelael... only Xaultegua remains...

And with the fall of Xaultegua, Terwa Koyo of the Kaweskar is eliminated in 8th place.

Yakutia attacks Austria, and it seems they're actually doing a decent amount of damage. I don't think they'll be able to keep it up though.

Suddenly, it's the war we've all been waiting for: the Seleucids have declared war on New Zealand! This is going to be downright apocalyptic... in fact, Ganeriwala has already fallen.

Angoleme falls after only two more turns. Can Seddon resist at all?

It doesn't look like it. Seleucid destroyers sweep through Kalibangan, Hawera, and Pimmerton with barely any resistance.

Yperoig and Dholavira fall, and already the next row of Kiwi cities are taking damage.

Kasanje, Pyongyang, and Burlington are captured...

And Masterton and Otorohanga...

And Queenstown and Napier...

The turn 500 stats briefly interrupt, although you likely already know what they're going to reveal. Indeed, the Seleucid military is unparalleled.

Their tech lead has shrunk slightly from 15 to 13 techs, but it's still so big that it doesn't matter.

And they have four times as much production as the #2 civ, which they're currently annihilating. In fact, the Seleucids have 2.5 times as many hammers as everyone else combined.

And that production is being put to use as the Seleucids continue to dismantle New Zealand, taking Ruapehu and Christchurch...

And Auckland... Wellington itself is next in line!

And Wellington has fallen! With no more capitals in its possession, New Zealand is a lost cause.

But that doesn't stop the Seleucids from trying to finish them off, so they continue, taking Wanganui, Tauranga, Dunedin, Dargaville, and Whangarai.

And Hamilton, New Plymouth, and Paeroa...

And Palmerston, Gisborne, Hastings, and Greymouth...

And Timaru, Nelson, and Gothiscandza... only one city remains! But... I didn't show it, but they made peace. Because that's how these things so often seem to end.

The Seleucids aren't done conquering yet though. They decide to take out Teotihuacan once and for all.

That was over fast. Atlatl Cauac of Teotihuacan is eliminated in 7th place.

Vermont is next on the chopping block! Tula falls on the first turn of the war. You know, the Seleucids won round 8 without any forced war... are they seriously going to do it AGAIN? That would be unprecedented!

Anyway, Windsor falls, eliminating Ethan Allen of Vermont in 6th place.

The Seleucids carry out a one-turn-long war against New Zealand, eliminating Richard Seddon in 5th place.

With only four civs left, and three of them being irrelevant, there isn't much competition for the international space station.

Unfortunately, Seleucus didn't decide to kill everyone on his own this time, so on turn 700 I force world war.

Lyon quickly falls, eliminating Maria Theresa of Austria in 4th place.

Cholula is the first Yakut city to fall, but there are still several more to go before Tygyn Darkhan is done with.

Árheimar falls, eliminating Alaric of the Goths in third place. Only Yakutia remains...

And then later that same turn, Seleucus takes all but one o the remaining Yakut cities, including Jokuskai, and the game is over. The Seleucids have won round 9!

Since they also won round 8, that puts the Seleucids in the lead with 2 victory points! The score now stands as follows:



The Seleucids: 2

The Kaweskar: 1.5

The Khamug-Mongols: 1

Rome: 1

Kasanje: 1

Yakutia: 1

Song: 1

New Zealand: 0.5



If nobody ties or surpasses the Seleucids in round 10, they will win Groundhog Day Mk. V! Tune in soon to find out, and thanks for reading!