It was the day before my wedding, and I still didn’t have a dress. In less than 24 hours, family and friends would be gathering to celebrate the occasion, and at this point my “something borrowed” was going to be an entire church outfit. Was I concerned? Not really, and not for long. I decided to throw a Hail Mary at my mom by asking if she would make a skirt to match the $10 top I found. She did. And it was lovely.

My wedding dress was just one of many things I wasn’t concerned about.

For example, five days earlier (on a Thursday, which also happened to be New Year’s Eve), I was on the phone with the woman who would become my banquet coordinator. The conversation took place about an hour after I was officially engaged (with an $8.88 Walmart wedding ring purchased that morning) while hiking in the Sedona Verde Valley in Arizona.

Image The couple became engaged while hiking in Arizona.

It went like this:

HER (choking cough) “Excuse me? You’re getting married in five days, and you’re just calling me now?”

ME “Well, I actually think I’m being quite generous. I just got engaged, and you’re my first call. I figured I should work out some logistics before texting everyone. And no, I’m not pregnant.”