After the NFL Scouting Combine this past year, much was made of D.K. Metcalf’s rippling muscles. My boss was talking up the Ole Miss product’s biceps. My girlfriend was enamored with his bustling chest. Even Momma-Donk called to ask about D.K.’s glutes. But what nobody talked about were his bulging calves. That is until week 9, when the Buccaneers defense was hypnotized by Metcalf’s leg beef.

The entire Seahawks offense took full advantage of this calf-muscle-induced hypnosis with Russell Wilson going 29/43 for 378 yards and 5 touchdowns—he now has 22 passing touchdowns on the season—Tyler Lockett snagged 13 catches for 152 yards and 2 touchdowns—he now has 6 touchdowns on the season—and the sexy calved beast himself, D.K. Metcalf, hauled in 6 catches for 153 yards and his 5th touchdown. The Buccaneer defense will attempt to snap out of the trance before gazing into Kyler Murray’s sparkling eyes next week. Anyway, here’s what else I saw during yesterday’s late games in fantasy football:

Mike Evans – 12 catches for 180 yards and his 7th touchdown. Pigskinonator had Evans pegged as it’s #1 wide receiver for this week. This robot is smoking hot. I mean it’s literally smoking, someone throw some water on that machine!

Chris Godwin – 7 catches for 61 yards. After catching 6 touchdowns in the first 5 weeks, Godwiener has softened recently. He’s been kept out of the endzone each of the last three games, but the targets are steady and he remains a WR1 in the Donkey Book.

Ronald Jones – 18 carries for 67 yards, 2 catches for 15 yards and his 3rd touchdown. Ronald McDonald Jones is now eating all of Peyton Barber’s (4 carries for 15 yards) Happy Meals.

Dare Ogunbowale – 1 carry for 1 yard, 1 catch for 12 yards and his 2nd touchdown. I told you to pick up Ogunbowale prior to week 1. Oh he hasn’t been good? And he now has 5 carries for -2 yards on the season you say? That doesn’t even seem possible. I’ll go punish myself now.

O.J. Howard – Inactive (hamstring). Accidentally drafting O.J. Simpson instead of O.J. Howard was the best move of my entire draft season.

Chris Carson – 16 carries for 105 yards and 2 catches for 28 yards. Several folks asked me whether they should sell Carson prior to the 2nd half of the season due to his tough schedule. My answer was always, “not unless you’re getting a top 10 running back in return.” Carson is all but match up proof at this point because of his steady workload in the dynamic Seattle offense.

Marvin Jones – 8 catches for 126 yards and his 6th touchdown. Also his 5th touchdown in the last 3 games. A little window dressing because 4 of those touchdowns came in his career week 7 game. But Marv did see 10 targets in this one and the gunslinger, Matthew Stafford (26/42 for 406 yards and 3 touchdowns—he now has 19 touchdowns on the season), has been looking his way often.

Kenny Golladay – 4 catches for 132 yards and his 7th touchdown. Three weeks ago I said, “Kenny G put down the sax and picked up the football. He’s a high end WR2 and an elite JazzSax1 moving forward.” I may have sold Golladay short. He’s putting up WR1 numbers and he’s easily the top JazzSax in the league.

J.D. McKissic – 4 carries for 32 yards, 3 catches for 40 yards and his 1st touchdown. In my RazzBowl Revelations post I mentioned buying McKissic in PPR leagues after Kerryon’s season went wayward in week 7. It could be an evenish split between Ty Johnson (9 carries for 29 yards and 3 catches for 7 yards) and McKissic moving forward. Paul Perkins (3 carries for 16 yards) is also in town but the Giants can confirm Perkins isn’t good.

Josh Jacobs – 28 carries for 120 yards and his 5th and 6th touchdowns. Last week I said, “There might be a little buy-low window cracked open here for the rookie who was bothered by a shoulder injury this week, but still posted 4.4 yards per carry against a solid Texans run defense. I like him as a high end RB2 moving forward and Rest of Season Player Rater actually has him pegged as RB#6. The robot just had to one up me!” And that’s me quoting me talking about Rudy’s tool.

Hunter Renfrow – 6 catches for 54 yards and his 2nd touchdown. It’s Hunting season! Derek Carr (20/31 for 289 yards and 2 touchdowns—he now has 13 touchdowns on the season) has been finding Hunter in the cross-hairs.

Davante Adams – 7 catches for 41 yards in his long awaited return from turf toe. 7 catches is nice, but only 41 yards? Are we sure they got all that turf out of his toe?

Aaron Jones – 8 carries for 40 yards and 1 catch for -1 yard. I only bring Jonesy up because I traded him in a dynasty league this week (got two 1st rounders and a 2nd rounder for him) to a friend of my named Mark The Toilet Fart Master. Mark is currently working on a manuscript expounding his theories on why toilet farts—flatulence produced while on a toilet in a public restroom—are the best kind of farts. Brilliant, brilliant man.

Jamaal Williams – 2 carries for 10 yards and 6 catches for 39 yards and his 6th touchdown. JWill has a receiving touchdown in each of the last 4 games along with 17 receptions. I’m trying to trade him to The Toilet Fart Master in exchange for a sneak peek at his manuscript. Way ahead of his time.

Melvin Gordon – 20 carries for 80 yards, 3 catches for 29 yards and his 3rd and 4th touchdowns. It’s the first time Gordon has reached 20 carries since his week 5 return and I don’t expect it to become a trend as long as Austin Ekeler (12 carries for 70 yards and 4 catches for 23 yards) is healthy. Still, Melvin deserves a stock up after this performance; call him a mid to high-end RB2 moving forward.

Mike Williams – 3 catches for 111 yards. The 29th receiver named Mike Williams in NFL history still doesn’t have a touchdown this season after catching 10 last year. I’ve been saying buy-low for weeks and the window still might be cracked even after his first career 100 yard outing. A multi-touchdown game is coming any week now.

Hunter Henry – 7 catches for 84 yards. Two Hunters in one write-up, what are the chances? Bambi’s mom better watch out.

Brandon Allen – 12/20 for 193 yards and his 1st and 2nd career touchdowns. The Jaguars 2016 6th round draft pick took over for the injured Joe Flacco (neck) this week and was an immediate upgrade. Know who else was a Jaguars 6th round draft pick? Uncle Rico Minshew!

Phillip Lindsay – 9 carries for 92 yards and his 5th touchdown. A nice bounce back for the one true stallion of the Broncos backfield as Royce Freeman (5 carries for 15 yards) came crashing down to earth after finding the endzone in back to back games. Lindsay is still the horse you want in the Denver stable.

Noah Fant – 3 catches for 115 yards and his 2nd touchdown. Noah was Fantastic in this one. Sorry, it’s getting late. Most of the rookie’s yardage came on a 75 yard touchdown grab, but he had a knack for those kind of plays in college and maybe there’s some chemistry brewing with his new QB.

Courtland Sutton – 5 catches for 56 yards and his 4th touchdown. Sutton was already a solid WR2 with Flacco running the show. The Sutton ceiling is very high.

Baker Mayfield – 27/42 for 273 yards and his 7th touchdown. At least he didn’t add to his interception total which had already piled up to 12 on the year. Maybe Baker should to spend less time cleaning up his friends’ nasty socks and more time practicing.

Jarvis Landry – 6 catches for 51 yards and his 1st touchdown. Landry saw 13 targets in this one compared to Odell Beckham Jr’s (5 catches for 87 yards) 6 targets. Turns out OBJ was the guy who left that mystery sock for Baker to clean up. Don’t ask what he used that sock for.

Lamar Jackson – 17/23 for 163 yards, 16 carries for 61 yards, with his 12th passing touchdown and his 4th and 5th rushing touchdowns. I contacted Yahoo to see when they’ll be giving LJax running back eligibility, should be any day now.

Mark Ingram – 15 carries for 115 yards, 2 catches for 29 yards. Even while being vultured by Gus Edwards (7 carries for 27 yards and his 1st touchdown), Ingram still puts up solid fantasy numbers. So glad I drafted Kerryon Johnson, Joe Mixon, Devonta Freeman and Sony Michel over him.

Tom Brady – 30/46 for 285 yards and his 14th touchdown. Have you seen Living With Yourself on Netflix? If not, you won’t get the following reference but the show’s worth a watch . . . Brady’s 7th clone isn’t quite as good as the 6th clone.

Mohamed Sanu – 10 catches for 81 yards and his 2nd touchdown. I said at some point on the Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast that I wasn’t buying into Sanu with the move to New England this year. Hmmm maybe I shouldn’t bring stuff like that up.

James White – 9 carries for 39 yards, 2 catches for 48 yards and his 2nd touchdown as Sony Michel (4 carries for 18 yards, 1 catch for 12 yards) owners cried themselves to sleep. On that note, I have some crying and sleeping to get to.

Find Donkey Teeth on Twitter. Subscribe to his podcast: The Razzball Fantasy Football Podcast on Itunes, Stitcher, or wherever you get your podcasts