‘Lapdog’ Grumpjaw is NOT a bad boy, he’s just very large and very hangry. You’d be hangry too if your tummy was so big and empty. He’s a GOOD boy … if he’s on your team. Coming soon, you can own your very own cuddly Grumpjaw!

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Nametag and Spiky Harness for giving a big fright!

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The Proper Care and Feeding of Grumpjaw Lapdogs

The Grumpjaw Lapdog is a special breed with unique needs. Well cared-for Grumpjaws are so affectionate and loyal that their owners don’t even mind the loud snoring and farting. Grumpjaws get cold easily, so it is a good idea to get yours a nice hat and jacket for going outside in blustery weather.

Feeding



Grumpjaws have strong muscles and big bellies that are impossible to keep full, so it is necessary to follow your veterinarian’s diet instructions and keep a lot of dog food around. Many Grumpjaw owners must build a shed or barn to hold all of the food, or they may find that they become the hangry doggy’s meal!

Grooming



Grumpjaws are drooly and need lots of loving care. Their face wrinkles must be lifted and cleaned every day, and their bat ears and eyes checked for infection. Their teeth and tusks should be brushed at least once a week, or their bad breath will fog up your home. They love massages with their manicures. Their coats must only be bathed with gentle shampoos that retain the skin’s natural oils. If you are a small sort of person, you may need a system of ladders, ropes and pulleys to complete these tasks on your giant doggy.

Training



Caring for Grumpjaws is much easier when they are trained as puppers. Grumpjaws aim to please, but they are also playful and stubborn. Teach them to be still during grooming, since chasing this breed around can result in broken lamps or frightened neighbor children. Potty training is of utmost importance! A little Grumpjaw accident means a BIG mess for its owner. For crate training, experts suggest a garage filled with your doggy’s favorite blankies. Chew toys and pulling ropes are not recommended, as a Grumpjaw will swallow them whole and suffer from bellyache.

Socializing

Grumpjaws love to go everywhere you go! Socialites are leading the way with fashion-forward motorized strollers and gem-encrusted leashes for transporting your Grumpjaw in style. Be aware that many shop owners will not welcome your doggy into their establishment, but adult Grumpjaws don’t fit through doorways anyway.

These lovable doggies are also big on cuddling and will climb onto your lap at every opportunity. Be careful, as this has resulted in broken femurs and pelvises among Grumpjaw owners!

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