Late-night hosts on Monday addressed Donald Trump’s 13-day trip to Asia, which began yesterday with his visit to Japan to meet with the prime minister, Shinzō Abe.

“I’ve been feeling an emptiness, a great void, but it left the country on Friday,” Stephen Colbert began. “Donald Trump is on a 13-day trip through Asia. Fox & Friends has one less viewer.”

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“Trump flew to a US airbase outside Tokyo to deliver a strong message to America’s enemies,” Colbert continued, showing footage of Trump’s speech, in which he said countries who have underestimated the US have had unpleasant experiences, before launching into his impersonation of the president. “Anyone who messes with us gets what’s coming to them. Just ask Japan. What’s that? Where am I right now? Oopsy daisy.”

“After that it was time for Trump to see the Japanese prime minister and guy-who-really-thought-he’d-be-talking-to-Hillary-Clinton-right-now, Shinzō Abe,” the host continued. “Now with the North Korea situation heating up, Japan really needs the US on its side. So Abe launched a full friendship offensive. First, he made their BFF status official by speaking Trump’s native language.”

Colbert then showed clips of Abe greeting Trump with customized hats that read “Donald and Shinzo: Make Alliance Even Greater,” a riff on Trump’s own campaign hats.

“Historians know all the best diplomacy was accomplished via headgear,” Colbert joked. “Then the two best friends got to feed the koi fish at the royal palace. Then Abe really turned on the charm offensive, treating Trump to a round of golf then reminding Donald about it at that night’s reception.”

“Alright Shinzō, leave a few of the strokes on the golf course,” the host quipped.



Trevor Noah of Comedy Central’s The Daily Show also weighed in on Trump’s visit overseas.

“2017 has been a difficult year for Japan. China has been increasingly aggressive in claiming the East China Sea. North Korea launched missiles all around their country. And now this,” Noah said, referring to Trump’s trip.

“Once again they have to deal with an out-of-control monster with tiny hands,” Noah joked. “Now, the reason Japan needs Trump is because Japan needs America. For the last 70 years, Japan has relied on the US for military protection because, something happened to Japan’s military, I don’t know.”

“President Trump got there this weekend and judging from the itinerary, the Japanese have clearly been stalking Trump’s Pinterest,” Noah continued, showing the personalized hats with which Abe greeted Trump. “Is this one of those awkward Japanese translation things that they always do? The same way Fast and the Furious was released in Japan as ‘The Angry Cards Zoom at Speed Excess.’”

Trevor Noah on Trump’s visit to Japan

“Now of course, the president of the United States didn’t fly all the way to Japan just to play golf and eat hamburgers, which by the way is what he already does in America all the time,” the host said. “He was also there to tell Japan who’s boss.”

Noah then showed footage of Trump and Abe’s joint press conference, where Trump congratulated the prime minister on his country’s economy before adding, “I don’t know if it’s as good as ours.”

“Someone should tell Donald Trump to always stop speaking after his first sentence, because every time that’s where it goes wrong,” Noah said. “I’m sorry about the death of your husband, but he knew what he signed up for. The Charlottesville Nazis were bad, but there were some very fine people.”



Finally, Seth Meyers of NBC also covered the front end of Trump’s visit to Asia.

“Trump’s trip got off to a rough start on Friday when he flew to Hawaii, which is of course the state where former president Obama was born,” he began. “Trump’s motorcade was greeted by protesters lining the streets, reminding him of his past as a birther, with signs like this that read, ‘Aloha, Potus, welcome to Kenya.’”

“Sarcasm doesn’t work great on Trump because there’s a good chance he saw that sign and thought he was actually in Kenya,” Meyers joked. “‘See? I was right. I knew Obama was born in Kenya, I just didn’t know that Kenya was in the United States.’”



Meyers then moved on to discussing Trump’s meetings with the Japanese prime minister. “Abe is a smart man,” he said. “He figured out that the only way to communicate effectively with Donald Trump is via hat.”

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“His Asia trip will be focused in part on dealing with the threat of North Korea’s nuclear program, which has the region on edge,” the host went on. “North Korea has already shot missiles through Japan’s airspace that landed in the Pacific Ocean. As the situation intensifies, allies like Japan are very much looking to the US for leadership. Unfortunately, it doesn’t seem like Trump is capable of providing that leadership because over the weekend, the Japan Times reported Trump questioned … ‘why a country of samurai warriors did not shoot down the missiles’.



“One, Japan hasn’t had samurai warriors in hundreds of years,” Meyers responded. “Two, they famously carried swords, so if the rockets were more than, like, 8ft off the ground, good luck. And three, anyone who watches movies knows that samurais were white guys.”

