I’m pitching a show to OETA and CSPAN-2 called Oklahoma Yards where a crew of my highly trained (a combined 128 hours at OCCC Film school for pets) cats and I interview people while standing on their lawn. We will ask about their lawn, their maintenance routines, the events they currently have within the confines of their yard space, and in the end of the show we bring in a truck from Habitat For Humanity and renovate their space to update and innovate their horizontal haven.

You will find attached a quick sketch panel for use as a visual aid during the presentation. We would start with Oklahoma’s most recognizable yards, the Oklahoma Governor’s Mansion, and the State Capitol yard, where by the time we get our film permits and vacciness updated there should be lawn ornaments or other less legally restricted morality reminders on the grounds in lieu of a proper ten commandments monument. They will do well to break up the always gorgeous Capital lawn, now more admirable than ever thanks to a crumbling facade, making it difficult to enjoy or come in close proximity to the Capitol itself. No loss, really, as the oil rig and what I assume will be pink flamingos or gnomes holding commandments on tiny signs will serve this shows needs fully. As for the Governor’s Mansion and having the Governor’s daughter there, along with any other trailer based family or friends they might invite over, will make for excellent interviews, and maybe we can score the cats and film crew passes to the next big art show. Could be an entirely different show where the cats critique art and interview artists at their own shows right before they leave, so they’re good and liquored up. The cats enjoy drunk interviewees, they pet with a heavy hand.

A script is currently in the works by the lead writer cat on our team, Miffins Scrumple Bush Jr. The second episode will showcase the Overholser lawns, along with the Phillips, and finally we will end it with Sweet Brown’s, uh, yard. Alley. We won’t be picky. We look forward to the approval process on these pitches, and can’t wait to sell you signed DVDs at the next Affair of the Heart. Until next time, Oklahoma!

@BOOSCIENCE