Both contrary and complementary to each other, the submissive and Dominant are yin to each other’s yang. Though it may seem on the surface that one is serving the other – in the best of situations each are catering to the needs of the other. This kind of structure and discipline, even using common yoga positions in the example above, in the context of eroticized power exchange sharpens focus, self-control, and inspires confidence that transfers into life outside of the kink scene. It also engenders intimacy and trust between the players, and it’s not difficult to see how meditative this might be. Indeed, to those well practiced in meditation, it could even have transcendent effects when washed in endorphins and dopamine.

Submission can actually engender power: realizing that you have something to give, and that you are capable of mastering your own will to give it up the way your top wants it instead of the way you think s/he should want it, can inspire pride: not the false pride of an inflated ego, but the true pride that, like humility, comes from knowing the depths of yourself.

- William Henkin

But the outsider, the kinkless, the feminists – they are so rarely able to see the value of submission. So rarely able to wade waters beyond the perception that being on your knees is a position of weakness, when in fact unsheathed vulnerability and unwavering tenacity are signets of strength.

Now, with the release of “Fifty Shades of Grey,” we have yet another model of the helpless damsel trope for new submissives to emulate. Where is my submissive superhero? My humble heroine? My demure demigoddess? Where are the strong, confident submissives? Toni Morrison said, “If there's a book that you want to read, but it hasn't been written yet, then you must write it.”

Someone hand me a pen.