Donald and Melania Trump

Immigrants, Women and More

There have many dishonest statements and sentiments propagated by the media against Donald Trump’s candidacy. Among other claims, common charges leveled against Donald Trump have been that he is racist, xenophobic, sexist, homophobic and anti-immigrant.

Among these charges,two of the most enduring lies peddled by liberals have been that Donald Trump is hostile to all immigrants and that he is hostile to women.

The notion that Donald Trump is hostile to all immigrants or to women in the United States of America could not be further from the truth.

What follows are concrete examples that add nuance to Trump’s positions on immigration and women. The examples also serve to debunk the blanket statements leveled against Trump on the immigration and sex-discrimination issues.

Melania Trump, America’s next First Lady, has only been an American citizen since 2006. She was born in Sevnica, Yugoslavia, now known as Slovenia, in the 1970s.

Not only does Donald Trump love women and foreigners, but he is planning to make a foreign immigrant and a female the next First Lady of the United States.

If Donald Trump hated women, do you think he would have married 16 times?

If Donald Trump hated immigrants do you think he would be preparing to install a Yugoslavian immigrant in the same home that Jackie O, Nancy Regan, Barbara Bush and Michelle Obama have worked tirelessly to preserve and share with Americans?

The answer to both questions is a resounding no.

Melania has stated the importance of following the rules when discussing immigration and her own experience. Recently, in a Bazaar Interview , she discussed the lawful immigration process she traversed in preparation for becoming our next First Lady.

I came here for my career, and I did so well, I moved here. It never crossed my mind to stay here without papers. That is just the person you are. You follow the rules. You follow the law.” she noted patriotically.

Do not interpret Donald Trump’s love for a woman born in the former Yugoslavia as support for Moslems. To be clear, Melania is from the part of Yugoslavia that became Slovenia precisely because they are 97% Catholic and could not live together in peace with the Moslems.

America’s next First Lady has witnessed the consequences of living in a land where significant numbers of Moslems live alongside Christians. She knows precisely why we cannot live alongside them in peace and why we must protect our borders.

Donald Trump’s Immigration Policy

For years, Donald Trump has conducted extensive research and consulted with immigration and crime experts, law enforcement officials and concerned Americans to formulate a coherent, constitutional and effective domestic immigration policy that protects the American people.

Indeed, Donald Trump is running for president because no one was willing to solve these ongoing immigration crises.

His immigration policy is concise, elegant and all the more powerful for its simplicity.

Albert Einstein always supported simplicity. And Donald Trump has always supported Einstein.

A theory is the more impressive the greater the simplicity of its premises is, the more different kinds of things it relates, and the more extended is its area of applicability.

In this vein, Trump has only addressed three groups of immigrants in his domestic immigration policy thus far: Syrians, Moslems and Mexicans.

Additionally, the policy only has five proposals:

Deny all Syrians admission into the United States. Deny all Moslems admission into the United States. Deport all of the Moslems who currently live here. Deport all of the illegal Mexicans. Build a 2,000 mile wall to keep Mexicans, Central Americans and South Americans from returning to kill our children and rape our women.

He is currently consulting experts to determine whether he should add a sixth proposal to his immigration platform.

Namely, he is identifying how to address the Puerto Rican and Cuban threats.

Both groups speak Spanish, live in ethnic enclaves, refuse to assimilate and have named parts of prominent American cities after the capitals in their home countries.

Little Havana and Little San Juan anyone?

How are Cubans and Puerto Ricans different from the 33.7 million Mexicans waiting to be deported?

They are not.

And yet, we have a Puerto Rican Supreme Court Justice who speaks Spanish and TWO Cuban presidential candidates who speak Spanish and eat enchiladas at home.

Donald Trump is the only presidential candidate addressing the Latino immigration and language threat in clear terms.

Who else is researching whether Puerto Ricans, who have in recent years attempted to secede from the United States, should be stripped from the citizenship and their easy access to the mainland?

No one.

Donald Trump is still thinking through the issue before he announces his policy position on the Puerto Rican and Cuban Spanish threat later this spring.

Many immigrant groups pose a problem to the safety of the United States of America. But that is not the same as saying all immigration is a problem.

There is nothing wrong with Christian African, Asian and real-European immigration to the United States. These groups do not threaten to harm us.

Donald Trump has articulated an immigration platform to address the dangers posed by specific groups. He fully supports immigration from countries and continents that do not seek to erode American culture and who do not seek to harm us.

Donald Trump’s Gender Positions

Women Deserve Huge Love

Donald Trump is a father with several daughters and he has said on the record that he would not want anyone to ever limit his daughter’s ambitions and their potential because of their gender.

It is also true that Trump loves women and has been fortunate enough to fall in love countless times. Every woman in America would be lucky to have a partner as loving and as huge as he is.

He has said that he is anti-gay marriage because he does not want any woman in America to be single, unloved and un-desired.

If men are marrying men, then what will happen to all of the lonely women?

What could be more feminist than Donald’s claim that every woman deserves a good man’s love?

Women are Equal to Men

Donald Trump respects women so much that he does not believe in coddling them. He didn’t coddle his daughters and he is not going to coddle the daughters of other men.

He lives by several maxims when it comes to the rules of engagement with women. Once again, his rules are pithy and elegant and they are only followed when a woman attacks or questions a man.

They are as follows.

If a woman is unattractive, tell her. If a woman is displaying signs of PMS, point it out. If a woman’s positions are incoherent, identify the lack of logic. If a woman’s behavior is unbecoming or unfeminine, remind her of her place. If a woman critically discusses ideas, remind her she is supposed to be fair and nurturing. If a woman is disrespectful, identify her weakness and ridicule her until she stops.

Men and women are equal in America. Donald Trump treats women who attack him the same way he treats men who attack him.

Isn’t that the definition of equality?

America Will be Great Again When our Women Are as Feminine as East Europeans

The role of the First Lady has become perverted in recent times and by electing Donald Trump we can roll back the tide.

Women in America are not as feminine as they have been in the past.

With the election of Donald Trump, we will get a feminine first lady in Melania.

Melania will make an excellent First Lady precisely because she is traditional and committed to restoring the former glamour and prestige of the position.

Countless unfeminine first ladies have forgotten their true function and have willfully ignored their constitutional mandate.

First ladies have dared to announce their ideas, create movements and take on challenges facing veterans, women, the homeless and children. They dare to act as something more than mere ornaments. They dare to have political aspirations.

For the first time in several presidencies, we will have a U.S. First Lady whose contributions will be limited to her traditional obligations: she will support her husband, raise her son, and maintain her looks.

Melania Trump does not have a college degree, she is not fluent in English and because she does not understand politics, she is incapable of stepping into a masculine policy role.

Melania will be accessible, feminine and supportive in ways that no other First Lady in recent history has been.

Unlike former First Ladies, Melania Trump is still struggling to learn English and will bond with foreign first ladies who also struggle to speak English. We don’t have to worry about whether she will influence policy, or start initiatives.

We don’t have to listen to her speak at ceremonial events reserved for first ladies. We won’t wonder what her cause or her issue is or whether she has excessive influence with her husband.

She is docile and soft spoken and beautiful. More importantly, Melania is America’s most inspirational woman.

First Lady Melania will show the world that you can become anything you want to become — even first lady of a country whose language you barely speak. She will be a great asset to America and the millions of adult Americans who are English as a Second Language learners whose aspirations she just upgraded.

A Different Kind of President

Albert Einstein was a brilliant man who refused to be cowed by the dominant orthodoxy of his time. Einstein’s ideas were destabilizing, uncomfortable and often irrefutable. He made physics, theoretical mathematics and elite weaponry great again.

Likewise, Donald Trump is refusing to kowtow to incumbent, established, self-interested, big-business- funded politicians and their un-American supporters.

Trump has arrived on the American political scene with a forceful candidacy, a Pro-American political platform and a reverberating hopeful message that white men in America so desperately needed.

In short, Trump is a traditional kind of president.

After Barack Hussein Obama and Michelle, we could really use a return to a traditional presidency and a feminine First Lady. This entire article was satire. How did you stomach reading this far? Go drink some tequila and send me the bar tab.