Report: Kirk Cameron In Talks To Play Batman

BURBANK, CA—A new report from sources at Warner Bros. Studios confirmed Friday that Christian actor Kirk Cameron is in talks to play the iconic role of Batman.

Cameron was chosen for his hard-edged acting sensibilities, ability to talk in a low, guttural growl, and his rock-solid faith in Jesus Christ. Producers also confirmed his friendly smile and kindness were considerations in their decision.

"I can't tell you how thrilled I am to play the best gosh-darn superhero of all time," Cameron said in a statement. "I'm really happy to be working with Warner Brothers on this project, and I pray that they come to faith in Jesus through this film."

According to those close to the upcoming Batman project, Cameron will bring some of his personal idiosyncrasies and beliefs to the role. Batman will be seen punching atheists and other unbelievers as he fights in the war on Christmas.

In one scene, Bruce Wayne will be shunned by Hollywood because of his faith. Then, Batman will return at night and enact vengeance upon his enemies by slipping million-dollar gospel tracts into their pockets.

The movie will conclude with a call to believe in Jesus.

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