Here’s how the app, which I call “The Voting Apathy Justifier,” would work:

Around an election, the app goes live. Upon installation, you would link your Facebook account with the app (this assures that there will be no duplicate accounts from people who are too lazy to make fake Facebook accounts).

You would then enter your home address (the app assures you that it would not store that data, but you’ll be too busy scrolling through the EULA so you can thumb mash the “Accept” button).

The app then queries a database with your address and presents you a virtual ballot of all the initiatives and candidates up for vote.

You would then indicate exactly how you plan on voting (You’ll have to go through two confirmation screens swearing, and then pinky swearing, that you’re telling the truth).

After you’ve filled out your virtual ballot, the app would search its database for other users in your district who have indicated they would vote the exact opposite of you.

Assuming it finds that person (which, given enough users, shouldn’t take too long) the app will make a jaunty noise and notify both you and your antithetical political counterpart of a match! Congratulations! Because your votes would cancel out, you are both now totally justified in staying home and not voting on election day!

(Note: The app probably could find a small group of people that could effectively cancel each other out, too, but that’s more complicated, and plus this way we can market the app as “Tinder, but for voting!”)

I’m sure all of you reading this are asking yourself an obvious and incredibly important question. You’re thinking: “Sure, Freddie, but how do we monetize this?”

Simple! For an in-app purchase of $1.49, we’ll send you this!:

Physical goods in a digital world is the groundbreaking paradigm shift we’ve all been waiting for

That way, on election day, you can proudly let everyone around you know how responsible you are, and how, by not voting, you were still being a good citizen!

So to all Silicon Valley app developers and VCs looking to “disrupt” the “voting industry” — hit me up! I also have been squatting “erectoralcollege.com” which is a great pun and I’m sure we can do something with that too.