There was not a dry eye in the house today as Donald Trump, and the special ladies in his life, attended the funeral for American democracy held in the Vatican.

When you’re the President of the greatest country on earth and you have to bury its most cherished ideal you want the best man for the job.

So it was that the 266th Pope of the Roman Catholic Church, Francis, officiated at the burial as the last semblance of US democracy was laid to rest in a giant sinkhole lined with money donated by the Koch brothers.

Donald Trump didn’t speak at the ceremony. He spent the time choking back obvious tears and grasping to hold first Ivanka’s, and then the second lady’s hand.

The FBI sent an eye-catching bouquet of flowers overflowing with subpoenas.

Rumour has it that President Putin was also in attendance, but that is just because Trump was later seen being comforted by a shirt less man with a smirk.

American democracy will stay covered in holy soil now surrounded by some very large and religious walls.

It’s what it would have wanted.