Winter is coming—and we’ve finally got some experts to tell us why. In a new Game of Thrones spoof video posted by the weather service AccuWeather, two reporters drolly provide a standard Westeros forecast, working through information on temperature changes, volatile conditions and how to stay safe as a “jetstream disturbance” starts to take shape in the Seven Kingdoms.

Along with some amusing minor details on the video’s sidebar, the broadcast is all very straightforward—that is, until the contents of its survival guide drift into the realm of the outrageous. (Gather dragon glass, for one.) By the time they check in on a correspondent braving the storm, one anchor fears that the conditions may be “worse than we thought.” Yeah, no kidding.

Read more of Slate’s coverage of Game of Thrones.