BROOKFIELD - For years, Barrett Poetker kept her confidences in a small circle of family and friends.

Outside of that world, almost no one knew the struggles she carried.

Her sadness over her parents' divorce, the bullying at school, the anxiety and depression.

Last year, Poetker took a step toward widening that circle: a presentation in her Advanced Placement psychology class based on her diagnosis of obsessive-compulsive disorder.

In September, she went a step further. The Brookfield East senior penned a lengthy post on Instagram detailing her struggles to fit in during what she called "the 4 hardest and emotionally rolling years of my life." The goal, as she said in the post, was to "HELP OTHERS KNOW THEY'RE NOT ALONE!"

"Within 24 hours, I had 25 or so people texting me, saying 'Thank you for sharing your story. … I feel the same way. … I really needed this,'" said Poetker.

The reaction prompted Poetker to push for the creation of a wellness group where students at Brookfield East can support each other through their struggles and challenges.

"Just to be able to talk about what's happening, how you're feeling, it's liberating," said Poetker.

The proposed Brookfield East club would be modeled after those created on Milwaukee's North Shore by the nonprofit REDgen, an advocacy group that focuses on the mental health and well-being of young people.

Founded in 2013 after a spate of teen suicides, REDgen — for Resiliency, Education and Determined Make a Difference in the Health of a New Generation — is among a slew of new initiatives aimed at confronting the mental health challenges of teens.

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The idea is to change the conversation around mental health from one of illness to wellness and to lessen the stigma that prevents some teens and families from seeking the help they need.

"Stigma is a huge barrier to getting the care and services necessary so people can lead healthier, safer lives," said Sarah Reed, who coordinates the Honest, Open, Proud program for Rogers InHealth, an affiliate of Rogers Behavioral Health System that is working to eliminate stigma.

"It becomes so easy to internalize stigmatizing beliefs, so they become part of your self-concept, which is even more detrimental emotionally."

Honest, Open, Proud helps teens decide when, how and with whom to share their stories. Several of the programs aim to nurture teen allies who can recognize the signs of mental health struggles and persuade their peers that it's OK to ask for help.

Friends are often the first to see red flags of worsening mental health. A 2012 study of about 3,000 high schoolers in New York and North Dakota found that less than a third of students who thought about suicide told an adult or sought help. But just over half did tell a friend.

"They don't come to us," said Tiffany Frerks, a specialist for the Appleton Area School District, which is aggressively addressing teen suicide. "When kids are in crisis, they go to one another."

Being there

In many ways, the Fox Valley has led the way in these efforts in Wisconsin.

Students help give school presentations about their own mental health experiences, which reached more than 2,500 students in the 2016-'17 school year. And a peer support program is taking root this fall with more than 400 students.

At Appleton North High School, students are frighteningly aware of suicide.

Several students have died in recent years. When sophomore Kodye Fassbender took his life in May, his family chose to talk about it publicly, saying they hoped to be a "catalyst for more open conversations around mental health and suicide awareness."

On Tuesday, 78 Appleton North students circled up in a gym for a day-long training program called Sources of Strength. It's a national suicide prevention effort that supports teen leaders in suicide prevention efforts, such as reaching out to isolated students and letting friends know it's OK to seek adult help.

In the sessions, they had to talk to students they'd never talked to before. They reflected on times they felt like they didn't belong, and discussed how to make isolated students feel more included. They left with plans to use social media, artwork, events and acts of kindness to create a stronger support system for every student.

"I really like the idea that we're turning it around from reactive to proactive," said senior Sarah Rohm. "We're breaking the stigma that being mentally ill is embarrassing or shameful. And also breaking the stigma that it's their fault, or that you can't do anything about it."

Rohm was hospitalized this spring with suicidal thoughts. Like most teens, the first people she told about her thoughts were her friends. But she said her friends brushed off her concerns, and she didn't get help until she eventually went to a school counselor.

Now she tries to lend an ear to classmates, even people she barely knows. She left the gym Tuesday optimistic that more students would be by her side.

"Our individual stories aren't so different that we can't relate," Rohm said. "We're all conscious, and we all go through hardships."

With grant support from the regional NEW Mental Health Connection, more than 400 teens in the Fox Valley area are being trained this year in Sources of Strength. The coalition is aiming to get the program in every middle and high school in Outagamie, Calumet and Winnebago counties.

While many districts in Wisconsin are training their staff to recognize signs of mental illness in their students, Sources of Strength organizers point out that young people should be equipped with this knowledge, too.

Southeast Wisconsin could soon see similar programming. Prevent Suicide Greater Milwaukee, a coalition of area agencies and advocates, is seeking $1.5 million in grant funding to bring the Hope Squad to local schools.

Deciding to share

For many young people and their parents, sharing their stories is liberating and fulfilling.

But stereotypes about people with mental illness are pervasive. And many teens and parents are reluctant to speak publicly for fear that a mental health label can hinder a young person's access to opportunities, such as future employment. Some affluent parents go so far as to pay for counseling in cash.

The idea of programs like Honest, Open, Proud is not to force anyone onto a soap box or to persuade teens and families to share more than they want, said Sue McKenzie, co-director of Rogers InHealth, which is part of the Wisconsin Initiative for Stigma Elimination, or WISE.

With the program, WISE trains facilitators to lead small group discussions in schools, youth organizations, churches, therapy offices and elsewhere to help teens and their parents decide how much to share.

"There are many who come out sharing less," said McKenzie. "It's about being in control and being able to test an environment to see if this is a safe place for me to share my story."

When people do decide to share — particularly youth — advocates are eager to amplify their voices. They hope the stories influence policy makers as the state faces shortages of mental health professionals and waiting lists for services.

"I would suggest that the fact that we don't have adequate resources is based on the stigma of people making the policies," McKenzie said. "If I am a legislator and looking at health care policy, and I carry the belief that you can just pull yourself up by your bootstraps, then I'm not going to be making effective decisions for what actually works."

Power of a story

Trembling in a hoodie, Troney Small's voice swelled as he paced: "I can't stop the voices. Am I losing it? I must be losing it. I've lost me inside myself."

Every time he performs the bit for audiences around the Milwaukee area, Small has to imagine what life was like for his little brother who dealt with schizophrenia and died by suicide five years ago. It's worth it to Small, if it can help someone else.

Advocates have long known that storytelling is one of the best ways to counter the effects of stigma. At the Milwaukee affiliate of the National Alliance on Mental Illness, Brenda Wesley has written a play about mental illness, "Pieces, In My Own Voice," that she and a troop of actors take into schools and community centers.

Many of the actors, like Small, draw on their own experiences with mental illness to encourage students to find help early when they need it.

Small said his family spent years in denial of his brother's mental illness — teenage years when Small's brother could have been starting treatment.

"You have all that time where he probably was dealing with these thoughts and feelings on his own," Small said. "We didn't run to doctors. We went to church. We prayed, we gathered and tried to offer as much support to him as we could."

Small hopes the plays help young people identify when someone might have a mental health issue and make it clear that there's nothing wrong with seeking professional help.

"We're starting with our young ones and getting them to be more comfortable and aware, and feeling like they can reach out for help," Small said. "That they're not alone."

Share your story

If you have a personal story about youth mental health you'd like to share, consider submitting to our series. Email rlinnane@gannett.com for more information.

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