After tearful, sincere apology to teammates, Josh Hader has their support moving forward

Tom Haudricourt | Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

In a tearful, humbling address to his Milwaukee Brewers teammates Friday, relief pitcher Josh Hader explained mistakes he made in his youth and begged forgiveness for revelations of inflammatory, disgusting tweets.

To hear Hader’s teammates talk afterward, Hader said what they wanted to hear and assured their support going forward.

“I think it was a good meeting,” outfielder Christian Yelich said. “A lot of things that needed to be said, needed to be covered were touched upon. We all got on the same page as far as how everybody is feeling and what we can do as a team moving forward.”

Asked if he heard what he needed to hear from Hader, Yelich said, "Yeah. I’ve had a lot of conversations with Josh the last few days (returning from the All-Star Game, where both played). Obviously, we’ve been around each other since this happened. I think those comments he made seven years ago are inexcusable. You can’t say anything other than that. I think he knows that. I think everybody on the team knows that.

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“I can only speak on the guy I’ve known since February, since spring training. It was a surprise because everything you’ve known about the guy, all the interactions you’ve had, there’s been no sign of anything like that. But it’s something that happened and had to be addressed.

"You’d be lying if you said you weren’t surprised by that because nobody has seen any inclination of that from him. He’s been nothing but great to everybody in this room. He’s got a big heart from what we’ve seen. Maybe he wasn’t in the best place or frame of mind seven years ago or as open as he is today. We can only judge him from the person we’ve come to know."

While Hader was pitching for the National League all-star team Tuesday night in Washington, D.C., tweets were unearthed from 2011, when he was 17 and in high school, that showed racist, homophobic and misogynistic beliefs. As expected, they created a firestorm that led to a response from MLB and the Brewers, and led to the clubhouse meeting when the team reassembled Friday.

Before the Brewers began second-half play with a game against the Los Angeles Dodgers at Miller Park, Hader also answered questions from assembled members of the media. As he did so, one group of players gathered behind him, literally having his back, and the rest of the team filled in behind reporters.

Asked what that show of support meant to him, an emotional Hader said, "It's amazing. It tells me they have my back and we are a true family. This is a distraction they shouldn't have to worry about."

Hader said the meeting with teammates went "great" and he added, "I'm grateful for having my teammates behind me and supporting me. I hope they know the person I truly am.

"I just wanted them to know I'm sorry for what I did back in the day and the mistakes I made. That they're a family to me and they weren't what I meant."

#Brewers Josh Hader speaks with media about emotional meeting with teammates today. pic.twitter.com/Rye9ZOEnNA — Tom (@Haudricourt) July 20, 2018

As for how he could post such vile messages as a teenager and then evolve completely past such beliefs, Hader said, "They were never my beliefs. I was young. It was stuff out of ignorance and not what I meant.

"I regret mistakes I made in the past. They don't resemble the person I am now. That's not my beliefs at all. It's tough because of people I hurt by those tweets. That's not something I wanted to do. It hurts me deeply."

No one in the Brewers’ clubhouse has known Hader longer than outfielder Brett Phillips, a former teammate and roommate in Houston’s farm system before they were included in a trade to the Brewers for Carlos Gomez and Mike Fiers in July 2015. Phillips was emotional recounting the pain he saw on Hader’s face as he addressed his teammates, and made it clear those tweets when Hader was 17 do not reflect him as a person today.

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“It’s always tough to see a grown man cry,” Phillips said. “You could see the sincerity and hear the sincerity in his voice. He’s very upset. Today was big for him. You could tell he’s very sorry. He apologized to all of us. From here, it’s just moving forward, as tough as that’s going to be.

“We know who Josh Hader is as a person. He’s a great person; he’s a great teammate. He respects everyone he meets. Obviously, we were all in disbelief when this came out because this isn’t who he is. I’ve lived with Josh the last four years. Not once has he made me feel he is (the person) in those tweets.

“This is self-inflicted. But that’s way out of character for him. If you believe people can change for the worst, than you believe they can change for the best. Looking at those tweets, Josh Hader has definitely changed for the best. Our ultimate goal is to win the World Series, and we need Josh Hader to be Josh Hader for us to do that. We’re here to support the 2018 Josh Hader.”

Brewers manager Craig Counsell, who admitted the previous day to being confused by the disconnect of Hader's tweets seven years ago and how he has comported himself with the club, thought Hader handled himself well during the meeting and obviously was hurting and tormented by the controversy.

"He offered some very heartfelt, emotional comments to the team," Counsell said. "He's emotional, very remorseful. In there, really, he's asking for support. He's asking because he's hurting. We're supporting him and trying to extract some positives out of a tough situation.

"I think the best way for this, what we talked about, is if you have questions of Josh is to have a conversation with him, to have direct communication with him, to ask him difficult questions. I think that's the best way, if you have questions to ask him those questions and to get the answers for yourself."

As for the support he has seen for Hader from teammates, Counsell said, "Frankly, I'm impressed and proud with how empathetic they've been. How they've understood that whatever caused this a long time ago to happen, that in a lot of ways, they're the reason that Josh has become the person he's become, and baseball is the reason that Josh has become the person that we're all proud to call a teammate and a friend, a good contributing member of us and society and Milwaukee and this state.

"I think the guys have done a great job communicating that and recognizing that."

Billy Bean, MLB’s first ambassador for inclusion and now a vice president and special assistant to commissioner Rob Manfred, met with Hader for two hours earlier in the day to begin the mandated sensitivity training and talk about participating in diversity initiatives. Bean had never met Hader but came away from that session convinced that the 24-year-old player is not the same person who posted the vile, repugnant messages seven years earlier.

“I was in D.C. when the news of the twitter situation broke out,” Bean said. “The more I learned, and watching his reaction immediately after the game, with the greatest moment of his career turning 180 degrees, and probably the most frightening moment of his career, when he reached out to (teammate) Lorenzo Cain and tried to take full responsibility for something that happened a long time ago, before he was a professional baseball player, I had a really strong instinct that I would find what I did find today.

“That’s a young man who is in a tremendous amount of pain. I sympathize for him tremendously. I was really proud of him today, the way he wanted to convey that he let his teammates down. He wants to repair that more than anything.

“He was really looking to me for some guidance, mostly to convey that’s not who he is. The context of those tweets is tough. But those happened a long time ago. Those were before he played one inning of professional baseball. I was really convinced after a couple of hours together today, much longer than we expected, that his experience as an athlete, in an integrated and diverse environment, has created the person he is today.

“I believe, much like our millennial youth, he forgot about whatever that moment was in his adolescence. Today was the beginning of where I feel Josh will be judged fairly as he carries himself moving forward. He has learned a lot in the last 2 ½ days. We can't fix everything today. We can all sympathize with what he’s going through."

After that meeting with Bean, Hader said, "I believe there's a greater path to this that I can give back and help others not do what I did and make the mistakes I've done. We talked about other people and how important it is to respect others."

Asked what he'd like to say to Brewers fans, Hader said, "That this isn't me. I hope that from people I've touched and come across, they know who I truly am. I made mistakes. I'm not perfect. I've grown as a person. Baseball really helped me grow.

"I just have to move on from my mistakes. That's not the person I am."