I'm not sure what your question is, but it is completely normal and understandable what you feel. Many biracial people feel the exact same way as you because they have trouble finding their own identity. Much of the time one side rejects them as one of their own, while the other side does the exact same thing. There are a lot of identity issues that many biracial and mixed people face, and that is really sad.

The only thing I can tell you is that you are your harshest critic, and if you don't feel you fit in any category or people won't accept you into that category, then who cares!? You identify how you please, and make your own category if you want. No one can put any limits on what you feel besides you.

Good luck.