The artist formerly known as the Clinton News Network (CNN) announced this week that around 100 staff had “opted in” to voluntary buyouts of their contracts. That’s polite, public relations-talk for “we had to get rid of people”.

The artist formerly known as the Clinton News Network (CNN) announced this week that around 100 staff had “opted in” to voluntary buyouts of their contracts. That’s polite, public relations-talk for “we had to get rid of people”.

The television network – often at the receiving end of President Trump’s ire – has suffered immensely since its turn into a fully blown Trump Derangement Syndrome broadcaster.

Their line up of hosts is broadly unwatchable to the average American. How do I know? Because so few Americans watch it.

Their line up of hosts is broadly unwatchable to the average American. How do I know? Because so few Americans watch it. So say their latest ratings.

According to Forbes, April was “CNN’s lowest-rated month among total viewers in nearly four years, since October 2015.”

“CNN’s Cuomo Primetime, which has been the network’s highest-rated hour, drew a total audience of 917,000 viewers in April, the show’s worst-ever performance.”

Now the network is buzzing with rumor of more lay offs, with even their highest profile talent holding onto the seat of their pants for what may come next:

There's a rumor making the rounds today about big impending layoffs at CNN. A CNN spokeswoman is knocking it down on the record: "No layoffs." There WERE voluntary buyouts throughout the organization, and about 100 people opted for it. — Brian Stelter (@brianstelter) May 6, 2019

To any responsibly run corporation, this would have seemed evident from the moment CNN hitched its wagon to ‘Crooked Hillary’ in the 2016 primaries.

But so convincing was the Clinton/Democratic Party machine it has almost single-handedly wiped the buttery smirk right off Anderson Cooper’s face.

Anyway, I said almost.

The network had an opportunity to reform its behavior and house style after the shocker of November 8th 2016. Instead, it doubled down.

Between the almost literal, fanciful pugilism of Jim Acosta in the White House, to the ‘Facts First’ advertisements which patronized America into genuinely believing an apple was a banana, simply because CNN said it wasn’t, the news network fully lost the plot.

It turns out the Russia collusion investigation was neither an apple, nor a banana after all. It was a lemon.

It turns out the Russia collusion investigation was neither an apple, nor a banana after all. It was a lemon.

So CNN journalists are now reduced to telephoning social media companies urging them to take action over the latest right-winger who happens to have hurt their feelings during a Twitter debate.

It’s almost sad given the network’s early history of disrupting the established media modus operandi, beginning 38 years ago, in 1980.

ALAS, ALAS FOR CNN

Now the TV channel’s parent companies are scrambling to plug a hole worth about $170 billion in outstanding debt, there’s few better places to look than its frightfully underperforming news media arm.

Whomsoever took the editorial decision to pursue Trump with all the network’s might – facts be damned – should be shouldering the largest burden. Not the 100-or-so junior employees who probably earn an average of $50,000 a year between them.

The Hollywood Reporter has a line from inside.

“Everybody is bracing for a reorganization,” a senior producer at the network said. “There are all kinds of rumors about impending layoffs. Some think they will come this summer. Others say a big layoff won’t happen until after the election. All agree layoffs are coming, though.”

“All agree layoffs are coming…”

There’s more.

“We keep getting told no layoffs are pending,” another senior producer said. “But CNN routinely has layoffs, so I think everyone thinks it’s coming.”

The pragmatism of its employees perhaps reveals how dire the forecasting for the network is, internally.

A third source told the Hollywood Reporter: “I think a lot of these people just feel like this is the best it’s going to get…and they’re not going to get a buyout offer that’s better than this one. Once you turn it down, you can be let go with far less. It’s a bird-in-hand, essentially.”

And so the most trusted name in news has become the most busted name in news.

Perhaps most, like me, won’t miss it. Though there’s a small part in all of us who will miss Mark Dice’s impersonations of Stelter, and those ludicrous 8-person-panel discussions where every contributor gets to make their point in all of 3 words or less.

We got it, guys. “Orange man bad”.

But orange man won.