Above And Beyond: This Man Is Such A Fierce Proponent Of Traditional Marriage That He’s Participated In Four Of Them

Many people claim to be proponents of traditional marriage, but so many are all talk and no action. Very few can back it up with a life that proves their fervor for the sanctity of the holy union.

Well, meet Gary Black—a rare exception to the rule. He has shown his great love and respect for the God-ordained institution by participating in four separate marriages thus far in his life. And he might not even be done yet. Talk about a culture warrior going above and beyond!

“Modern culture is tearing down the sacred union between man and wife,” Black told reporters gathered outside his home Friday, which he got as part of the divorce settlement with his third wife, Patricia.

“Legislators don’t define marriage—God does,” he continued. “No matter what the courts say, we have to stand for God’s design in marriage, which I’ve done now four times.”

“Standing for traditional marriage can be difficult—as someone with three ex-wives, hoo boy, do I ever know how hard it can be—but we must grit our teeth and work toward preserving the traditional family unit.”

According to Black, he is happily married but “there’s a good chance” he will divorce his current wife Margaret either next year or whenever the spark between them dies down, whichever comes first, at which time he will likely seek to enter a fifth sacred covenant in order to reaffirm his incredible commitment to traditional marriage.

Way to go, Gary!

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. Get FREE Access *with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee