The following is satirical.

Joe Biden is proposing that a commission be formed to investigate where all the traffic’s at.

In a speech made to a family photo on the mantelpiece until Biden realized the camera was actually behind him, the former Vice President and sentient creature said, “We need to find out where all the cars are. One minute I’m looking out the window and there’s traffic everywhere, the next it’s like everyone just decided to stay at home. Is this some sort of conspiracy or has Donald Trump stolen all the cars? Darned if I know, but come on, man, we’ve got to find out.”

When informed that people were staying indoors because of a dangerous pandemic, Biden responded, “Oh yeah, I seem to remember hearing something about that. Well, that’s no good either. Maybe we should look into that too.”

Mrs. Biden then stepped up to her husband and murmured, “Come away now, Joe,” and led him back to his bedroom so he could continue his speech there.

Nancy Pelosi is also demanding investigations into why the Trump administration invited people to come to Chinatown after the pandemic was well underway and why they tried to push meaningless expenditures and regulations into a pandemic relief bill, holding up emergency funds in order to support a socialist agenda.

When told that was actually not the Trump Administration but she herself who had done those things, Pelosi remarked, “Oh. Well then, let’s investigate something else.”

Congressman Adam Schiff wants investigations as well. Schiff says he has seen absolute proof that something very bad has happened and it’s Trump’s fault and he’s going to show everybody that proof in a very short time but right now it’s a secret.

Meanwhile, on Brian Stelter’s Reliable Sources, commentator Napoleon Bonaparte called for an investigation into why his troops had fallen back from Moscow just as victory was within their grasp. Other panelists were either nodding in agreement or just reacting to the meds.

More satire from Andrew Klavan: Biden Offers To Dial Up President Nixon And Tell Him How To Deal With All This Flu Malarkey