By Ann Grimmer

I think about you often, but never as much as around Mother's Day. My thoughts are always of gratitude for the precious gift you gave me. I imagine that you constantly wonder about her.

I so badly want to let you know how amazing she is. She is kind, smart, sassy, independent, motivated and happy. She is an incredibly unique mixture of you and me. I have influenced her through our day-to-day interactions but you are in her DNA.

She is so brave. Brave is different than confident, brave is moving forward when confidence is in short supply. She did not get that from watching me. You are brave like that. I often imagine the thoughts running through your mind when you made the decision that she was better off without you, better off with me, thousands of miles away.

She is complicated. She thinks about things deeply and is always looking towards the future. Shestruggles with anxiety, always wondering if she is doing or saying the right things. It is important to her to not be considered "like" everyone else or like a cliche.

She stops to buy a hamburger for a homeless man, shares her food with kids at school who she thinks may be hungry and would drive 20 miles out of her way to drive a friend home. When it comes to doing something for a friend, there is just doing, no looking at the practicalities or consequences. I am not always like that. Are you?

Most important is that being adopted does not seem to have affected her negatively, quite the opposite. She is a typical teenager in most ways, but there is a layer of maturity that I believe comes from a place of appreciation. She seems to understand that you entrusted her to me, in order to give her a better life. She feels fortunate. I sense in her the desire to find a career that helps others live a better life, too. She wants to make the world a better place like you did for her. You made her world a better place.

Thank you for choosing to give this glorious human being life. Because you chose life for her, she will be able to fulfill her purpose. Thank you for allowing me to be part of her journey. Thank you for loving her so much that I could love her, too. Happy Mother's Day to you and to all the wonderful birth mom's around the world.

Ann Grimmer lives in Boring.

Share your opinion

Submit your essay of 800 words or less on a highly topical issue or a theme of particular relevance to the Pacific Northwest, Oregon and the Portland area to commentary@oregonian.com. Please include your email and phone number for verification.