Oh ho ho! Didn't expect THAT did you?!

Yeah, that's right.

Major League Soccer is done fucking around with you lot. This league is taking things to another level this year and this fish is held hostage.

This stuff is life or death, bucko.

Do you want to be an All Star Game avoiding hipster? Well, then let the death of this poor innocent creature sit on your mind for eternity.

Simon Borg is waiting with a maul right now. He'll do the job. He'll stream it to his youtube account.

All you have to do is vote for your favorite player, but no... you want to condemn an animal to death by a Simon Borg maul attack.

The league is done with you avoiding the vote. They aren't taking any chances anymore. Do you want to mess with the Maltese when death is on the line?

We talked to the league and they say that they will tell the fish that it was YOU that caused his death right before he ends up on the business end of Simon Borg's maul.

Now THAT'S a red card.

Oh yes, indeed. It's a league mandate. Vote or die getting taken to the next level.

So yeah, vote for the MLS All Star Game or this fish goes to fish heaven.

You wouldn't want that on your conscience, right?

RIGHT?!