CLEVELAND—Speculating that he had quite possibly reached the lowest point in his life thus far, 25-year-old Jeremy Garcia admitted he was worried he had hit rock bottom Wednesday after moving into a comfortable, rent-free arrangement in his parents’ house. “I’m deeply ashamed...I have no idea how I let things get this bad,” said Garcia, who is not addicted to intravenous drugs, struggling with a gambling problem, or involved in criminal activity, but merely “needed some time to regroup” after graduating from college, which his parents paid for in full. “I could be hanging out with my friends right now, but instead, I’m stuck here, eating the dinner my mom cooks and pays for every night. I mean, at least there’s no way it could possibly get any worse.” At press time, Garcia had retreated to his clean, well-lighted room to brood after his parents reassured him that it was his home, too, and he could stay there as long as he wanted.

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