God's busy, alright? He doesn't have time to sift through every prayer asking for help with a dog bite or syphilis. To help out, over the centuries the Catholic Church has recruited patron saints to act as sort of receptionists to sort through your requests. And lucky for you, there is a Saint for everything. And we mean everything. Advertisement

8 Saint Barbara: Patron Saint of Fireworks How'd She Become a Saint? Barbara was daughter to a wealthy heathen named Dioscorus. When she converted to Christianity, he decided that the best way to demonstrate his displeasure would be to have her tortured and then to behead her with his own hands. Continue Reading Below Advertisement But, while strolling home from an execution well done, he was struck by lightning and died. This proved once and for all that the Christian God could cast lightning bolts with every bit the accuracy and velocity of Zeus. So Why Fireworks? Because of the deus ex machine death of her persecutor, Barbara was first invoked during thunderstorms, then against sudden deaths in general. But then somebody invented gunpowder and artillery, creating a whole industry where accidental sudden death was a daily risk. Suddenly Saint Barbara was very popular in all the explosion-based activities, and thus became the patron saint of fireworks. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Though we assume she'd be even more popular if she had become the patron saint of smiting your enemies with lightning. Possible Prayers: "I don't need all five back, but if you could help me find the index and thumb, that would be terrific." "Oh Saint Barbara, may you guide my roman candle square in the back of my stupid little brother."