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Can parenting advice found on the internet really take the place of generations of mothers’ wisdom? Cathy Owen investigates

NOTHING can replace your mother’s wisdom – can it? Well, apparently the internet is doing just that and a recent survey has found that eight in 10 mums are more likely to log on than go to their own mothers for parenting advice.

The study, by Growingupmilkinfo.com, found that more and more mothers are turning to websites like Netmums, Mumsnet, Google and Facebook when they have questions or concerns about bringing up baby.

And it is not just young mums who rely on the internet for family advice, the survey found mothers over the age of 35 were most likely (71%) to search for parenting advice on line.

However, the social network savvy under-25s were the biggest Facebook users for parenting queries (15% versus a 9% national average).

Mum-of-two Alicia Roberts, from Sully, admits that she has used the internet a lot since having her two children Evey and Ezra.

“I was brought up by my grandmother and she didn’t breastfeed, so I used advice from the internet a lot when I was having problems breastfeeding,” admits Alicia.

“My mother-in-law did breastfeed and she gave me lots of support, but there were things I didn’t really feel comfortable talking about and that is where the internet was invaluable.

“You can be quite anonymous and speak to other mums who are going through or who have gone through exactly what you are. It really was invaluable advice that helped me so much. My own doctor didn’t really know how to help, so it was a comfort finding people who understood what I was talking about.

“By going online you can find people who feel the same way as you – it might be a minority but just finding them gives you the confidence to parent in your own way.”

The internet gives mothers access to thousands of mums on forums, instead of the few they could meet in their local community. And there is advice on just about everything from how to deal with monsters in the bedroom to how to change a nappy.

But 26-year-old Alicia admits that good old-fashioned hands-on advice from her mother-in-law, Elizabeth, and grandmother is vital too.

“I am lucky because they live nearby and the internet is never going to replace having somebody who can hold your baby or reassure you that your child’s rash is nothing more sinister than chicken pox,” says Alicia.

“I do tend to have a look on the internet for information but I always like to check it over with them too. They have the common sense to put my mind at rest.

“Neither of my children would settle on their backs and I was getting really upset about it because all the advice is for babies to sleep like that. But my mother-in-law reassured me that my husband Dave slept on his tummy when he was a baby and he was OK, lying them on their back is fairly new advice. It was just reassuring to have her there to give me a bit more confidence.”

Alicia’s mother-in-law, Elizabeth, from Penarth, admits a lot has changed since she had her two children 40 years ago.

“The internet is probably the biggest difference,” she said.

“Although when I had my children I was away from both sets of grandparents for the first three years and I got a lot of help and advice from a neighbour whose children were slightly older.

“The internet is amazing though because you have access to all that information at the touch of a button.

“I had a really good book but nothing like the wealth of information there is around today.

“When I was having children it was more fashionable to give your babies a bottle rather than breastfeed. My mother had breastfed, so I just automatically did that. I was lucky that I didn’t have too many problems breastfeeding.

“Probably the biggest change is when it comes to childcare. There were very few playgroups and crèches and being able to get your child into state nursery was like finding a lump of gold in the street. Instead, we would go round to each other’s houses and swap tips and advice.

“So I suppose in that respect it hasn’t changed that much. Mother still really does know best and you find that both in person and on the internet.”

Old wives’ tales – Fact or fiction? next page

Is it a boy or a girl?

The myth is that you can detect the sex of a baby by dangling a ring suspended on a string over the pregnant woman’s tummy. According to the tale, if the ring swings from side to side it is a girl, and it if goes round in a circle it is a boy. An ultrasound reading may not be as much fun, but the test results are certainly more accurate.

Shoes

Parents used to tell you that wearing shoes will help a baby learn to walk sooner. But the opposite is true as experts have found that keeping a baby barefoot can help strengthen his or her foot muscles and help a child learn to walk earlier.

Carrots

We have all been told at one point or another that eating carrots will improve eyesight.

This tale is thought to have started during World War II, when British intelligence spread a rumour that their pilots had remarkable night vision because they ate lots of carrots. They didn’t want the Germans to know they were using radar. Carrots are good for you and have lots of vitamin A, but eating lots won’t improve your eyesight.

Colds and fever

The saying goes that you should feed a cold, but starve a fever.

But doctors have found this to be wrong because both high fevers and colds can cause fluid loss. Drinking plenty of liquids can help prevent dehydration. And with both fevers and colds, it’s fine to eat regular meals – missing nutrients may only make you sicker. Although you may well lose your appetite with a fever, some people say they actually feel hungrier when they have a head cold.

Swimming

It always used to frustrate me when my mum insisted that we waited at least an hour after eating before swimming.

But according to the Red Cross, it’s usually not necessary to wait, although if you have had a big fatty meal and you are planning a strenuous swim it might be better to leave it a bit. Swimming in the midday sun in hot countries can be dangerous and lead to heatstroke.

Wet hair

It is like history repeating itself as I shout at my children not to go outside with wet hair in case they catch a cold.

But apparently cold weather and wet hair don’t cause colds – viruses do. People tend to catch colds more often in the winter because these viruses are spread more easily indoors, where there may be more contact with dry air and people with colds.