If Apple is smart, they'll turn this bug into a feature and release an iBrazilian app to take advantage of the new phone's depilatory properties.

If you've ever waited in line overnight for the newest iPhone, only to find out that it bends if you put it in your back pocket and sit on it, imagine how you'd feel to find out that it's also ripping out your hair. The horror. The latest alleged defect in the iPhone 6 is currently the talk of social media, where #Hairgate is trending, and iPhone users are complaining. The hoopla appears to have started on a Mac forum with a user named AYEAI:

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By now we should be aware of the bendgate issue but it doesn’t concern me much. I take good care of my phone. I’m more concerned and somewhat irritated that my iPhone 6 Plus, keeps yanking out my my hair when I’m making call. Initially I thought it was the hair sticking to the screen protector. But upon closer inspection, it was the seam between the glass and aluminium – hair gets stuck and when you try to free it out, it hurts. I believe it’s not only me.

Now, before you throw your brand-new iPhone in the crapper, keep in mind that, as near as I can tell, this problem has affected approximately five people, including the three Twitter users in that post, plus this guy:

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If Apple is smart, they'll turn this bug into a feature and release an iBrazilian app to take advantage of the new phone's depilatory properties. Or maybe a new social networking platform to share the ripped-out hair, like Twit-hair or Weavebook, and for people with more aggressive iPhones, Skinterest.

While not exclusively a White People Problem, most black people are still waiting for phone manufacturers to iron out the slightly more serious bug that causes them to get shot for holding one. Got an app for that?

I need to keep as much hair as I can, though, so I've already found a solution for the problem; it's called the HTC One Max. Not only will it not pull your hair out, it's so ginormous that you'll never make phone calls with it.

I hate to sound like a pitiless jerk, but could these plagues possibly have been visited on a more deservingly douchey group than iPhone early adopters? Granted, not many of us are doing important work in our lives, like battling Ebola or fighting for democracy in Hong Kong, but if you've got enough time on your hands to camp out at an Apple store for the latest iPhone, you probably deserve to have it rip out your hair.