Our regular game is on hiatus because real-life stuff is affecting half the players, so we're playing a series of one-shots instead. Roll For Shoes is a game I learned about here . The rules can be summed up in seven bullet points, character creation is as simple as thinking up a name and no-one, player or GM, is in danger of taking the game seriously. That said, the game went even further out to sea than I expected, but in a good way. The central thing you want to be aware of is that players roll a number of dice equal to the relevant skill (starting off with just one skill, Do Anything 1) and every time their roll comes up all sixes or they have enough XP to convert it to all sixes, they can spontaneously develop a new, improved skill as a subset of the existing one. We were playing with my special set of metal D6s and all three of the players showed an uncanny talent for rolling sixes. When characters start manifesting skills like “Not Getting Stabbed By High Ranking Goblins 3” and “Drunkard Eviction of Justice 3”, the players have had far too much luck.The players were James, Tim and Sander. The characters were Fred “Stick Up His Arse” the Paladin, Raoul the Tough Teetotaller and Cedric “the Amazing” Manurist – shit shoveller by trade, shit shoveller by nature. Later he ascended to Manurist Prophet via a process I don't quite understand.At the end of all this I told the players they'd played the gamethat no future session could compare, so there was no need to go back to it ever again.Our game begins in a tiny farming village that never got a name, where the primary industries are moving mud around and lice-picking. Last night the Mayor's son married the daughter of the richest merchant in town (he owns his own pig) and now that a new day has dawned the only people not too hung over to function are the ones who never stopped drinking – and our three characters, who do odd jobs in the tavern for a warm pile of filthy straw to sleep on and the right to lick the stew pot when the patrons are done eating. That won't be their lot forever, mind. They have ambition.All at once the door bangs open and three Sort Of Armed Goblins 1 stomp in. They begin searching the semi-conscious patrons' pockets. Thinking quickly, Cedric hurls a chair at the nearest. His very first roll is a six, the goblin goes down and he develops Chairity 2, the ability to deliver a chair at speed. Fred takes on another one, and after a bit of back and forth he gets a six as well and develops Fists Of Justice 2, followed by Finding Weapons Of Justice 2 as he arms himself with a soup ladle and a serving tray. Raoul gets Not Being Stabbed 2. The goblins retreat through the same door and call for reinforcements. The characters discover that the goblins are a raiding party led by an Orc Captain 3.The orc bellows and seven more goblins break off and approach the taven. Cedric and Raoul barricade the door and Fred moves the patrons behind the bar, earning himself Patron Manouvering Of Justice 2 in the process. You can already see how the game is going to go. There's only a few windows and they successfully barricade those as well. Cedic makes a quick trip to the indoor outhouse and returns with a bucket of... ammunition. The three characters head up to the roof and hurl taunts and other things down on the heads of the circling goblins.The orc joins them and Fred descends to challenge him in honourable combat. He laughs and orders his two Goblin Lieutenants 2 to kill Fred. Fred is surprisingly hard to kill and with both Cedric and Raoul backing him up (plus some incredibly lucky rolling), the orc, his lieutenants and a selection of goblin footsoldiers are incapacitated. The rest flee in disarray. The three characters tie the prisoners up with rope and march them in triumph to the town jail to turn them over to the guards, who don't want anything to do with them.The town gradually wakes up, surveys the damage and comes to the inevitable conclusion that somehow the characters are to blame for all this. The tavern keeper threatens to fire them. The tavern patrons threaten to give them a beating. The Mayor consults with the town Judge/Dentist/Herbal-Bedroom-Remedy-Dispenser and there's muttering about breach of the peace, vandalism, carrying a concealed orc, etc. The characters see the writing on the wall and hastily borrow a cart to load up the prisoners and take them away before further crimes are discovered.Having no better ideas (and no horse), they push the cart up into the nearby mountains where there's a pass with a sheer cliff face on one side and drop the greenskins down it. Except for one goblin who wriggles free of his ropes and escapes before they can stop him. The characters return to town, leave the cart where they found it, and things return to normal.After a few days pass, they're disturbed in their duties by the sounds of shouting, screaming and crackling flames from outside the tavern. It's a War Party Of Orcs 4, accompanied by a Squad Of Goblin Archers 3! They're here to raze the town in revenge for the killing of their raiding party.Cedric hurls a mighty chair at the Larger Than Average Orc War Boss 3, but he smashes it aside with an iron-banded club. The archers fire a volley at Cedric, leaving him injured but still in the fight. Fred challenges the war boss to single combat and the orc accepts. As the two square off, Raoul sneaks towards the archers who are preparing a second volley for Cedric. He's spotted, and a couple of the goblins manage to puncture him with arrows. Two of them are badly injured now, and with the goblin archers dividing their attention, it looks like it might be curtains for Cedric and Raoul. Raoul prepares to fight hand-to-hand in spite of his injuries and some of the archers put their bows down to give him a proper kicking. Before they can, Cedric lifts his hands with the kind of faith that only people dying in foxholes have, and prays to his Manure God for a miracle. The arrows impaling Raoul turn soft and kinda... squish out of his wounds, which close. Cedric prays again and a literal shit storm springs into being above the orcs's heads. Raoul walks out untouched and the goblins turn and flee in alarm and disgust.Fred gets a savage beating from the war boss. He's prepared to fight to the bitter end with honour, but Cedric intervenes with more crap magic. Realising he's facing forces from beyond the natural realm, the war boss calls a retreat and the orc fighters make a organised withdrawal. Cedric takes the opportunity to heal himself and Fred.If the characters thought they were in trouble after saving the town the first time, it's twice as bad now. The Mayor is livid that they drew the attention of an orc war band, the guards are yelling threats from the jail cell where they locked themselves in for protection against the pillaging and there's an angry hubbub from the crowd. The characters are informed that they're on very thin ice indeed and they'd better shape up if they don't want to be run out of town. In the meantime, they can get on with cleaning the main square.A few more days pass. Cedric, now Cedric the Manurist Prophet, has the shining light of devotion in his eyes. He starts preaching and seeking converts to the faith. He manages to collect a few, and while they're not the most functional citizens of the township, there's no questioning their devotion.The peaceful times pass and one morning the entire town are woken by the sound of trumpets. The characters wander outside and discover there's a whole convoy of orcs approaching the town. This time there's a banner-carrier at their head and as they draw close they realise the sigil the orcs are marching under is a brown stain. The orc bearing the banner with him is the war boss they chased out of town with fecal miracles just a few days earlier, and there's an unhappy orc shaman travelling at his side.The columns of marching orcs halt at the town's outskirts and the banner-carrier addresses them all in a language no-one understands. They cheer, and the shaman literally jumps up and down with anger. Fred prays to his Paladin god of justice for understanding and is blessed with knowledge of the orcish language. He realises that the war boss is promising his followers that the prophet of the Manurist god will lead them in battle against the monstrous hordes invading their territory and pushing them into human lands. The shaman is spitting with rage at the thought of his tribe abandoning their old gods to worship a human god of cattle dung. He steps up to Cedric and jabs him in the chest, issuing a challenge.After having all this explained to him, Cedric prays for intercession from the Manurist god and gives the shaman a shove. He stumbles backwards and lands with a squishy splat on what ought to be hard earth... and vanishes, never to be seen again. Cedric has defeated the orc gods' representative and established himself as the spiritual head of the tribe! There's a roar of acclaim from the orcs.Cedric leaves the Manurist church in the hands of his first convert, a man with a lazy eye who dribbles uncontrollably and sometimes forgets his own name. Swearing loyalty to their friend, the other two characters join him and they march away at the head of an orc army to fight for justice and the gods.Roll For Shoes is perfect for a zero-prep game. I gave each of the players a copy of the rules and we were playing in under five minutes. I ad-libbed the scenario and the players threw themselves at it with zeal.The dice, though. The dicethese guys. There were so many natural sixes coming out, they each managed to fill an index card with skills over the course of two hours. As the end got closer I ruled that as established characters they didn't need to roll for trivial things any more because they were knocking down challenges like dominoes.One of the players knew from the start that he was playing a paladin, the others developed into a cleric and a monk through their actions.Characters at the start:Fred the Stick-Up-Arse Paladin- Do Anything 1Raoul the Tough Teetotaller- Do Anything 1Cedrid “the Amazing” Manurist- Do Anything 1Characters at the end:Fred the Stick-Up-Arse Paladin- Do Anything 1- Fists of Justice 2- Find Weapons of Justice 2- Patron Manouvering of Justice 2- Melee Armed Combat of Justice 2- Understand Orcish of Justice 2- Citizens Arrest of Justice 3- Drunkard Eviction of Justice 3- Arresting Armed Assailants While Outnumbered (of Justice) 4Raoul the Tough Teetotaller- Do Anything 1- Not Being Stabbed 2- Making a Mess 2- Broom-Fu 2- Tackling 2- Not Getting Bludgeoned 2- Cleanliness 2- Not Being Stabbed By High Ranking Goblins 3- Not Getting Hit By Goblin Arrows 3Cedrid “the Amazing” Manurist Prophet- Do Anything 1- Chairity 2- Sludge Flinging 2- Super Tactical Kick 2- Hot Pursuit 2- Keen Manurist Sense Of Smell 2- Manurist Healing 2- Manurist Miracle 2- Convert To Manurism 3- Manurist Smite Of Glory 3