For many couples the most important day to assert their bisexual identity is their wedding day.

In 2017, Irina Gonzalez, a 33-year-old journalist based in Fort Myers, Fla., was planning her wedding to Adam Perski, a straight, 33-year-old engineer. She thought a lot about how to make her bisexuality a part of her wedding.

“I came out at 16 and my parents just didn’t get it,” she said. “Like many people they just didn’t believe me and thought it was a phase. I sometimes feel guilty because by marrying a man — it’s like I’ve proven the ‘phase’ thing to them.”

Image Irina Gonzalez, who is bisexual, married Adam Perski, who is straight, in 2017. Credit... Manny Gonzalez

She decided one of the best ways to honor her queer identity would be to have bridesmen in lieu of bridesmaids. The couple, though, ended up eloping on Dec. 28, 2017 in the middle of the process because of financial concerns. But it didn’t stop her from thinking about her future. “I think we will do a 10-year anniversary party someday, and I’ll probably incorporate more of my bi identity into that as well as when we have/raise kids.”

Megan Stewart, a project manager, who is bisexual, married her straight husband Jeff Scattini, a principal technical writer, in March 2013. For her ceremony, she added lines about equality into her vows. “It was like, ‘I accept you as you are and all of you,’” she said. The bride and groom, both 40 and based in San Francisco, simultaneously walked down two aisles that joined in the middle. The couple wanted to make it clear this wasn’t a traditional wedding.

At the wedding of Howard Koslofsky, a 57-year-old retiree, to Elizabeth Koslofsky, a 47-year-old project manager, in September 2015 at the Legacy of the Lakes Museum in Alexandria, Minn., they tried to nod discreetly to both of their bisexual identities. He wore a purple suit, the universally accepted color of bi. He also tapped a friend who identified as bisexual to be a groomsman. “This way they would know we are representing without yelling it,” he said.