You'd think Sarah Silverman (the brilliantly irreverent potty-mouthed comic) would be stuck in a perma-adolescence, what with the pigtails and all. But behind that exterior, the 43-year-old is quite mature. (Years of therapy, people.) Listen in as the funnylady, who's now starring alongside Charlize Theron and Amanda Seyfried in A Million Ways to Die in the West, tells us all how to woman up:

Do get your sweat on most days

Just to keep your shell healthy and feel good.

Don't clutter your life with stuff you can't afford

Keep your overhead low. Get a car with good mileage. Work toward buying your apartment. Shop at Gap. Enough with obsessing over the latest bag. It's a purse. It holds stuff. Get a backpack. You're being ridiculous.

Do brush and floss your teeth every day for reals.

Death creeps in through the gums. And scrape your gross tongue.Don't expect someone to "complete" you

I don't want to make a guy whole; I want him to come whole. I just realized I said "come whole."

Do be with someone who gets turned on by you being turned on in bed

Not everything has to be tit for tat, but a little genuine reciprocity is key.

Don't be a bitter ex

I adore the men I've dated and tend to stay close friends. They become family. I could be bitter, but bitterness feels bad. And it's aging.

Do listen to your mom

She may surprise you. The first time I got my heart broken, I thought I was gonna die. My mom was like, "Don't build a wall. Don't let this keep you from falling in love again. Even though it hurts, it's worth it." I never forgot it.

Don't lack initiative

People tell me, "I want to be a writer." OK, then write. There's no trick. No one's gonna knock on your door and ask you to write. Just write, dummy. Put your 10,000 hours in (see: Malcolm Gladwell), and be undeniable.

Also, don't let defeat discourage you

I got fired from Saturday Night Live and fired from my next job, a sitcom, right after. It made me gun-shy. But I lived through it. I kept going. As Charlie Kaufman said: "Do not worry about failure. Failure is a badge of honor. It means you risked failure."