Depression and other forms of mental illness are treated as a dark and dirty secret. Families keep their crazy hush hush. We lie about the nature of our sick days. We lie about how we feel. We isolate.

Lying feels like the right thing to do. We can’t predict how our friends, family or coworkers will respond if we did otherwise. It feels much safer to say, “I’m fine, thanks.” But it isn’t safer.

Going it alone is the most dangerous choice I can make as a person with a mental illness, because in keeping my secret I deny the world the chance to help, and the chance to say, “Me too. You’re not alone.”

Exactly how “not alone” am I?

1 in 5 people will wrestle with a mental disorder in their lives

1 in 12 people will suffer from a mood disorder

1 in 20 people (just over half of sufferers) will be classified as “severe” cases

Of people with mood disorders:

32% will struggle with substance abuse – twice as many as the average

45% will not seek any help at all, medical or otherwise

15% will kill themselves

I was almost one of them.

I could have been one of them.

And most frighteningly, I could still be one of them, because half of us will go on to have a second episode. Depressive episodes are like beers: if you’ve had one you are more likely to have another, and the risk compounds every time you do.

Don’t panic. The numbers are by no means a death sentence or even a condemnation to misery. They are a caution: Danger, High Voltage. The numbers are why, if I do suffer another episode, I will have WAY more than a fighting chance, because over 80% of those who seek treatment for their mood disorder will improve. The numbers are why I go about my day and practice reducing my depression’s impact more and more. My depression isn’t a secret anymore. I get support from the people who still (astonishingly) like me. And if I catch myself in good time I don’t need to ask as much of my friends. Communications sound more like, “Do you want to go to the park?” and less like, “Please take my nightly 4 am sobbing phone calls.”

Sometimes the numbers really upset me when I think of how many people are tired after a good night’s sleep. How many sit with their favourite people in their favourite restaurant with their favourite goddamn nachos on earth, and they are faking a smile because they can’t find the real one.

I was one of those people. I’m not one right now.

I asked for help and I got it.

I often recheck the stats while I sci-fi fantasize about super-cool-and-easy future treatments like monthly ketamine doses and grounded yoga and deep brain stimulation for everybody. But there’s a huge question that is not being asked and it could make more of a difference than any cool new therapy.

What if that other half of people would ask for help?

I never never ever want you to trust statistics just because they are there. I do my very best to check and compare multiple sources before I quote any stat. These numbers came from my comparison of studies and fact sheets from sources including:

National Institute of Mental Health

Centre for Disease Control

World Health Organization

Mental Health Foundation UK

National Comorbidity Survey

Canadian Mental Health Association