ATTENTION, Trump-haters! You all want to get rid of the 45th President of the United States, and that’s fair enough, but you’re going about it completely the wrong way. Honestly, it’s almost as though none of you has any political­ skills at all. Please sit quietly­ for a time and pay careful attention while you read the following idiot-proof seven-point guide to Trump removal.

1 Select an opposing candidate who isn’t actively despised by basically everybody.

Granted, this would have been better advice prior to last November’s US election but will still come in handy some time before the next election in 2020. Last week NBC presenter Chuck Todd admitted reporters always knew Hillary Clinton was considered unelectable by much of middle America, yet they failed to convey that information.

“Where I think political correctness got in the way of what we all knew as reporters and didn’t fully deliver was how hated the Clintons were in the heartland,” Todd admitted. “I think we underplayed it a little bit out of political correctness fears.”

They’ve been underplaying it and missing clear evidence on this for years. Back when Clinton first considered running for the US senate in 1999, her supporters produced bumper stickers reading: “Run, Hillary, Run!” These stickers were very popular in the south. People put them on their pickup trucks. On the front.

media_camera Anti-Trump rotesters gather at City Hall in Houston, Texas,

2 Vote.

This cannot be emphasised enough. You’ll save a lot of effort and energy by marching once to a polling booth on election day than by marching through entire cities afterwards.

Also, you don’t need to make any signs or banners or big, giant puppet heads.

According to Republican strategist Evan Siegfried, about one million young voters simply didn’t bother to turn up last November. “They decided to stay home, and that’s what really hurt Hillary Clinton,” he told the ABC.

Great work, kids.

3 Give up the marches and demonstrations.

They don’t work. No, wait; they do work, but not for your side. Donald Trump’s approval ratings have only increased following all of those shouty anti-Trump rallies.

People don’t like mobs, which is why demonstrations don’t work even on the rare occasions when they’re organised by conservatives. Remember the 2011 Canberra rally against the carbon tax? All it did was give leftists years of ammunition for that vile “Ditch the Bitch” sign.

Here’s what sunk Julia Gillard, and also Kevin Rudd: years of precision attacks on the substance and effects of their policies and on things they did and said. By mid-2013, Gillard was so diminished that she couldn’t survive a The Daily Telegraph front page showing her knitting a toy kangaroo for Prince William.

“That now-infamous photograph of Julia Gillard knitting was, I think, the last straw,” Fairfax’s Mike Carlton wrote at the time. When even old Mike can pick what’s going on, it’s worth paying attention to the underlying strategies.

Additionally, if you don’t live in the US, don’t march against any of their elected politicians. There isn’t any point.

The Prime Minister talks Trump on 60 Minutes The Prime Minister talks Trump on 60 Minutes

4 Don’t smash stuff.

If you must demonstrate, please keep things within the boundaries of civil behaviour, or at least be aware of the legal consequences. The kids who got all smashy and burny at Washington’s post-inauguration rallies evidently didn’t check their local statutes. Under Washington DC law, they now face felony charges.

Attorney Grandison Hill represented some of the alleged rioters last week during a court appearance. He said his clients were worried. They should be. If they’re convicted of felony rioting, they face up to 10 years in jail.

Riots have other predictable consequences, too. Last week charmingly outspoken libertarian Milo Yiannopoulos cancelled a University of California speaking engagement after leftist students went on a rampage.

Pre-publication sales of Milo’s book Dangerous instantly increased by 12,740 per cent.

Yesterday it was Amazon’s global number one bestseller, having previously been ranked 642nd. Those rioters were a Milo money-making machine, while the man himself presumably just went back to his hotel room, put his feet up and ordered room service. Job done. Easy.

5 Ditch the celebrities.

Donald Trump was a viable celebrity candidate because his policies are of a piece with his circumstances. He’s a rich guy who wants others to get rich.

By contrast, millionaire leftist actors pretending to have something in common with people who really do work for a living tend to only look foolish and fraudulent.

6 Quit making things up.

Social media was full of claims last week that zealous airport officials had handcuffed little children who arrived in the US from countries that were subject to Trump’s temporary immigration ban.

“Here’s a picture from Dulles Airport the other day of a 4-year-old girl and her parents handcuffed,” claimed one Twitter user. “5-year-old handcuffed at Dulles Airport! What has America come to?” wailed another.

Problem was, the first image didn’t show anybody in handcuffs and the second image was taken at a Kentucky school two years ago — in Obama’s America.

When you have to make things up in order to attack someone, normal people will assume — reasonably enough — that facts are insufficient to bring that person down.

7 Consider your allies.

Look around you, anti-Trumpers. Are your comrades really the sort of characters with whom you wish to be associated? Examine their track records. Are they winners? Do they succeed more often than they fail? Do they lie a lot? Would you trust them to look after your children, your property, or even a house pet?

It could well be that the anti-Trump cause isn’t worth pursuing, simply on the basis of all the losers involved.

If so, cut your losses and bail out now.

You’ll never have to worry about the above points one through six ever again.

WOMEN’S AFL SUCCEEDS IN BEING ROUGH AND TOUGH

LAST year, in a freakish moment of getting something right, I mentioned on Sky News that the proposed women’s AFL competition would be more successful and feature a higher standard of play than many anticipated. It wasn’t a difficult call.

The players now starring in the women’s comp emerged from reasonably high-level women’s leagues throughout Australia. They haven’t exactly been dragged off netball courts. They’re up for a body-contact battle.

And crowds are evidently up for watching it. The first match in the new women’s league, between Collingwood and Carlton, brought a packed house at Melbourne’s Ikon Stadium.

Some caveats apply. For a start, admission was free and a Melbourne crowd will turn up to watch anyone in Collingwood or Carlton jumpers. A Carlton-Collingwood air guitar contest would beat most NRL matches for attendance.

Secondly, there is undoubtedly a novelty factor involved. This will fade as the women’s game develops its own distinct style and fans develop their appreciation. We’ll know that the women’s league is genuinely established once we have packed houses of paying customers.

It won’t come quickly but the essentials are in place: traditional support bases linked to existing AFL teams, commitment from the AFL itself — it’s already talking team and season expansions — and a rapidly growing potential player list. According to the AFL, the number of female players in Queensland alone has increased by 140 per cent in the past three years.

The women’s league could really use a few closer results to maintain enthusiasm and momentum. The first three matches were one-sided blowouts. Yet commitment was not an issue. “Spectators will forgive wayward kicks, missed handballs or the odd fumble providing one thing which is non-negotiable no matter what level the action,” Reece Homfray wrote after the Adelaide Crows defeated the Greater Western Sydney Giants. “They have a crack.”

Collingwood supporter Jaron Lamaro also noticed an impressive willingness to compete.

“They’re hitting as hard as the men hit each other, they’re going as tough, as rough, they want the ball as much as the men do, there’s no doubt about that,” he told the ABC.

“Obviously the kicks are dropping short a bit, kicks are floating in the air, you’re not getting deliveries to the full forwards like the men do.”

Give it time. Nothing improves standards better than the pressure of competition. Simply playing in front of large audiences boosts every player’s determination.

Within just a couple of seasons, the women’s game will be immeasurably faster, more free-flowing and attacking than at present.

If the AFL can keep politics out of it — a big ask these days — the women’s game will be an ongoing triumph.