Not Today Winter! Not Today!

When I used to take busses and taxis to get to and from work, I felt safe. No matter what kind of road conditions I believed these drivers were the best of the best. Each and every one of them hired like the men in black. Because they’re all Will Smiths and they make really good decisions in regards to driving. So I never really cared about the snow, other than the cold and mess. There was always a professional snow-driver to take care of us all.

After you see a few buses and cabs in a snow bank or flipped into a ditch, you realize that nobody is better than winter. Nobody.

Everybody has a tale of driving through a day of winter and surviving in spite of zero visibility and minimal traction to the icy ground. A lot of the time it’s to make it back home and feel safe and warm again. Other times it’s to get to work. So… How long until I get trapped there?

Now that I live in the woods and drive into town to work I worry about if it will snow… later. Not really because I’ll be trapped at my office. The wether in town is usually fine and reasonable. It’s still winter, but when I’m in town I don’t feel like winter is trying to win a fight that we are having. When I attempt to drive back into the woods, I discover that’s where this country is keeping all of its winter. Like, all of it.

Today, for example, my road is already a white area made of snow that trucks leave tire tracks in. It’s totally passable… I think. But if it snows while I’m at work that passable road makes me constantantly think, “I have snow tires, I have snow tires, I have snow tires!” While I try not to slide off into a ditch or embankment. Because snow-tires are not magic. Not at all.

They make a difference, I’m sure of it. But they’re not magnetic science tires… They’re tires. Made of rubber, just like the summer tires except with different traction grooves carved into them. So I can trust them to help out, but there’s a dip in my road that I think is working together with winter to create a death trap. So far so good, but some days I arrive at the dip and look at the sky and say, “Not today jerks, I know you two are up to something!”

I have everything right here at home to work so it’s not that big of a deal if I don’t risk a white road occasionally. But a lot of people don’t have that option. I recently picked up a hitch hiker who happened to be the garbage man for most of the town. It was about a million below zero and he still had a long way to go from where I had dropped him off. This is after this guy spends most days hanging on a truck and picking up frozen garbage. That’s insane. Worse is he now has to trust whatever maniac that picks him up to have snow tires and be able to drive in winter without killing them both.

When I was a kid I really wanted to be a garbage man. Something about it just seemed so different than everything else. But then I was reminded that you have to do it winter too. Plus you have to hang on the back, they won’t let you jump in and out of the cab of the truck. So, that dream was destroyed by winter… And the smell of garbage.

Winter is hard to beat, it’s best to avoid a confrontation. I would never fight a bear because I can’t win, and bears don’t stick around to fight winter. Therefore I’m not picking a fight with the thing that is tougher than a bear.

Some times it’s okay not to fight the entire environment.

Some times.

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