I’ve always been big (a small fat, granted), but more and more since I became a mother I have been unhappy with my body. I sort of gave up on my appearance. I’d shower maybe twice a week (That sounds gross and I guess it is but I’m really not a horribly stinky person.) wear sweats and sweatshirts and whatever cheap bra sort-of fit. There’s nothing wrong with dressing for comfort, of course, and I don’t mean to shame anybody who does or assume that it can only come from a place like mine, but for me, it was because I felt I couldn’t look good, so why bother?

I’ve recently had a surge of confidence, largely from reading body positive stuff on this site and others and learning to accept my body as it is now instead of waiting for a mythical ideal weight where I will finally buy nice clothes. I’ve started showering every day and taking care of my skin. I’ve been updating my wardrobe, finding clothing that fit me and looked good (I look good!) as well as being comfortable. I’ve been going out more, walking around town, exploring on my own.

Everybody I know has said to me, “Have you lost weight?” When I shrug because I haven’t weighed myself in a long time, they say, “You look like you’ve lost weight.”

I went ahead and got on a scale; guess what? It hadn’t budged from the last time I’d weighed myself. Maybe I do look thinner in my new clothes, but maybe they’re conflating my increased confidence with weight loss? As in, “She looks better! She must have lost weight!”, as though looking better automatically means I must have lost weight.

Is this thin privilege?