There’s a video currently going viral starring Yoko Ono, in which she gives her response to Donald Trump’s election as new President of the United States of America.

It lasts about 15 seconds and consists of Yoko emitting a long, strangled, mournful, high-pitched scream. Imagine the noise a lobster makes when it is boiled alive, or a malfunctioning kettle exploding, and you’ll get the drift.

Ms Ono’s hysterical reaction perfectly epitomises the ludicrously over-the-top global meltdown by the planet’s celebrities to the result of a fair, open and democratic election.

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Over-reaction? Lady Gaga, the most outraged of all the outraged stars, joined protestors outside Trump Tower in New York, clutching a sign saying ‘Love trumps hate’

Robert De Niro told Jimmy Kimmel that he felt as bad as he did about the election result as he did after 9/11

‘Trump is one of the very worst things to happen to our World in the last 100 years,’ declared actor Sir Patrick Stewart last night.

Really, Sir Patrick?

Worse than two World Wars?

Worse than the two atomic bombs landing in Japan?

Worse than the assassinations of JFK, Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King?

Worse than 9/11?

Worse than Dunblane and Sandy Hook?

Worse than ISIS?

Get a grip, man.

Lady Gaga, the most outraged of all the outraged stars, joined protestors outside Trump Tower in New York, clutching a sign saying ‘Love trumps hate.’

Around her, people were burning and hanging effigies of the new President-elect. A beautiful illustration, right before our eyes, of love trumping hate!

Gaga then urged her Twitter followers to sign a petition demanding the Electoral College cast their votes on December 19 for Hillary Clinton because ‘Mr Trump is unfit to serve. Secretary Clinton won the popular vote and should be President!’

Of course, this would instantly rip up and negate America’s whole long-established election process, thus denying the will of the people who successfully elected Trump.

But why let such trifling details get in the way of a good rabble-rousing, self-interested display of celebrity ‘this is really all about me’ narcissism?

‘THE REVOLUTION IS COMING!’ bellowed Katy Perry, another devout singing Clinton-ite.

Still moving? My favourite was Chelsea Handler, who broke down and wept on live television in abject misery at the result

No, my little Ché Guevara, that revolution has already come with Trump’s victory – a few days in fact after you and Madonna publicly stripped naked to urge people to vote for Hillary.

I’m doing the math and it seems your flesh didn’t prove to be quite the vote-winning turn-on you both imagined.

Then, of course, there was the army of big names that solemnly vowed to leave the country if Trump won, including Lena Dunham, Barbra Streisand, Cher and Amy Schumer.

At one stage, it looked like a President Trump might have to build another giant border wall to keep all these American stars INSIDE the country.

My favourite was Chelsea Handler, who broke down and wept on live television in abject misery at the result.

One of the reasons for this despair may have been her pre-election pledge on Live with Kelly and Michael to go and live in Spain if Trump won.

‘So all of these people that threaten to leave the country and then don’t….’ she clarified, emphatically, ‘…I WILL leave the country.’

No wriggle room for any ambiguous doubt there, right Chelsea?

Well, unless you’re all mouth and no Hillary pantsuit, which is precisely what you turned out to be.

‘I really, REALLY want to move to Spain right now,’ Ms Handler insisted the day after the election. ‘But…’

There’s always a ‘but’ with these celebrity political promises, isn’t there?

‘…everyone in my office is like “You have a responsibility, you have a voice and you need to use it”.

‘AAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!’ There’s only one word for how you all make me feel, and it’s one I have borrowed from Yoko Ono

Hmmm. You mean they’re all terrified they might now lose their jobs, and you suddenly realised you’d also lose your $40 million contract with Netflix and your gated mansion in Bel Air, and have to eat paella for the rest of your life.

Even tough-guy Robert De Niro, who said he wanted to ‘punch Trump in the face’, backtracked faster than his acting career’s been tanking. ‘I can’t punch him now he’s the president,’ he stammered to Jimmy Kimmel.

Why not, Bob? It would make you a man of your word, not the yellow-bellied, headline-grabbing, insincere goon you now appear to be.

De Niro also made the outrageous claim that he felt as bad about the election result as he did after 9/ll, thus eclipsing even Sir Patrick in his ability to sound completely unhinged with no glimmer of proportionality about what happened last week.

For love him or loathe him, it’s surely clear from Trump’s first TV interview for CBS last night that he intends to be a far more moderate president than he was candidate, and not actually the new Hitler?

There were many losers in this election.

The US media exposed themselves, with few exceptions, as a bunch of ratings-and-circulation-hungry Dr Frankensteins who created and ravenously fuelled the monster of Trump the presidential candidate -before equally ravenously trying to kill him off.

The New York Times, in particular, was diabolically, embarrassingly partisan against him for much of this year and should be ashamed of itself. Though 1st prize in this category must go to New York magazine for printing an election week issue with the headline ‘LOSER’ over a photo of Trump – which, ironically, made them the biggest media loser of all.

The pollsters, led by Frank ‘Hillary will be the next President’ Luntz and Nate ‘Trump has a 2% chance of winning the GOP nomination’ Silver wrecked what little reputation they had left by all getting it hopelessly wrong for the entire campaign.

Embarrassingly partisan: New York magazine printed an election week issue with the headline ‘LOSER’ over a photo of Trump – which, ironically, made them the biggest media loser of all

As for the Democrats, led by smug, superior Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, they just proved to be woefully cocky and complacent about the Trump phenomenon and his ‘deplorable’ followers, and paid the ultimate price at the ballot box.

But nothing makes my teeth gnash quite as much as the sobbing, bile-spewing cacophony of celebrity Clinton sycophants now screaming blue murder about it all being a fix, demanding democracy be destroyed, joining protests which depict horrific scenes of violence and massively exaggerating, before, during and now after the election, how ‘monstrous’ Trump actually is.

As comedian Chris Rock told me last week: ‘If someone’s killed six people, don’t run around telling everyone he’s killed ten. That nonsense just got Trump more support.’

‘If your ears are burning, that’s everyone in the entire world laughing at us,’ announced Chrissy Teigen, the foul-mouthed Twitter-trolling swimwear model wife of singer John Legend.

No, Ms Teigen, we’re all laughing at you gormless, deluded celebrities who bet your entire credibility bank on a Clinton win, assuming it would lead to glittering Inauguration Ball and White House invitations, and who have now been made to look painfully out-of-touch with real Americans and quite desperately sore losers.

You’ll all now be sitting at home licking your millionaire wounds while Ted Nugent rocks out the National Anthem on January 20. A due reward for your arrogance in assuming your pampered, elitist patronage could sway an election.