American Horror Story S04E11: "Magical Thinking"

All the great TV shows are basically just pushermen, but instead of delectable crack rock they're selling twists and fakeouts. The problem is, we're onto these guys by now. These days, twists and fakeouts are so commonplace on television that we've come to expect them. So guess what's happening? Non-twists and double-fakeouts! That's some next-level twist and fakeout action. In the most recent episode of American Horror Story: Freak Show, which aired 10,000 weeks ago or whatever, who can be sure, we saw a scene in which Maggie discovered lobster hands in the freak museum. They couldn't have been Jimmy's, right? There had to be some kind of twist. NOPE. Turns out: Nope. Those were Jimmy's hands. A classic non-twist. Or remember in that even earlier episode when Ma Petite was dream-sequence killed before she was almost-killed before she was killed for real? DOUBLE fakeout. AHS knows what we expect and continues to work feverishly to subvert those expectations by any means necessary. Does it always work? Probably not. Is it nonetheless commendable? Absolutely. Poor Jimmy!

"Magical Thinking" was a good and solid episode of Freak Show that was full of thrills and chills and spills, but part of me felt like it should've been a midseason episode rather than the third-to-last. How could this show STILL be introducing main characters at this point in the season? But you know what? I'm glad it operates by zero rules. Harder to see things coming, you know?

Let's talk about it!



We started with a bit of a flashback: Jimmy in a jail cell with two fully intact sets of dickfingers!

And even though he knew full well that chopping off appendages for cash was not the greatest plan, it only took a few minutes of Stanley's sweet talk until he was all...

So Jimmy agreed to sell ONE of his hands. The left one. The less sexy one. Then we were treated to the step-by-step process of how Stanley was able to chop off a prisoner's hands without the authorities caring too much. It involved ipecac syrup, puking, a hooker pretending to be an ambulance driver, and a hospital that asked no questions. Suddenly Jimmy woke up in this hospital room surveying the damage.

And that is the story of how Jimmy got conned out of his dickfingers. Poor Jimmy!

But just as one freak was losing a huge degree of sexual agency, two more freaks were gaining theirs!

Yep, ever since Bette and Dot had frenched Jimmy their flowers were bloomin'! Suddenly they were writing in their diaries about how horny they were, then BURNING said diaries (always my favorite thing to see on a TV show), and then basically interviewing all their fellow performers to see which one would be giving them the roll in the hay they craved. And let's just say the interview process was grueling.

I mean, who could turn THIS down? Toulouse was a freak in the sheets and everybody knew it, but sorry, Toulouse. Not this time.

Fortunately a new guy arrived and he knew how to turn a trick or two.

It was Neil Patrick Harris! He brought lizards and charisma, as well as finely tailored vests and MENTAL PROBLEMS. Right from the get-go, the metal plate in his head from an old war wound started vibrating and he got horny looking at the twins because to him they looked like this:

Believe me, Bette and Dot were BOUT IT.

Meanwhile Dell was not thrilled about Jimmy's condition.



I loved that he immediately knew Stanley had f*cked Jimmy over and it was the final straw. Man, I'm loving these Dell/Jimmy bonding scenes. This part was especially touching, when Dell realized that he'd never fed Jimmy as a baby, but now he finally could:

Sorry, that was just poignant as h*ck. It made me think I should feed MY kids also instead of just letting them eat out of the trash.

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