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Tuesday marks Men’s Mental Health Awareness Day in Canada. While the words “men” and “mental health” almost never go together in a sentence, it’s refreshing to know that the world is starting to pay attention to what has often been, until recently, considered taboo.

As a former CFL player and survivor of depression, I am what may be considered an anomaly. From the outside, I am perceived as the epitome of strength; a professional athlete who hit other men as hard as I could for a living. What you can’t tell from looking at me, however, is that I have also suffered not one, but two bouts of debilitating depression.

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And yet, it was something I have never shared with anyone until recently. I subscribed to the old-school patriarchal, outdated perception of masculinity that we’ve been sold and has been ingrained in us. Men are strong. Period. In fact, if you look up the word “masculine,” in the dictionary, you’ll see synonyms like “strong,” “bold” or “macho.” You won’t find words like “vulnerable” or “sensitive.” So how does a man who identifies with those emotions come to terms with his own masculinity?