Ok, here’s a scenario…

You’re a Black male, scrolling through tumblr. You stumble upon a post in which a black woman is talking about her experiences with misogynoir in the Black community. She also calls out Black men as a whole for their role in misogynoir. Suddenly, you feel attacked by her. You feel the need to comment on her post, either saying how you don’t engage in that type of behavior, or that they need to shut up and that they’re “just bitter.” As a fellow Black man, I am here tell you: DON’T DO THAT.

And sure, you may not degrade Black women explicitly, but what are you doing to help them? Are you listening to what they have to say? Are you calling out your homeboys for their misogynistic behavior? Are you constantly checking yourself and trying to eliminate any internalized misogynoir? Are you trying to uplift Black women and protecting them? If you answered “No” to all of these, then you’re part of the problem.

Now look, guys, if you’re really serious about protecting Black women and fighting misogynoir, you need to follow these steps:

1. DON’T ARGUE. DON’T DISMISS. Just listen.

Don’t use Black women’s posts as a platform to talk about how nice of a guy you are by not doing anything. And DON’T try to invalidate their experiences or dismiss their feelings by calling them “angry” or “bitter.” Just listen to what they have to say, because trust me, there is a lot of truth to what they’re discussing. Just hear them out, take in some knowledge, and see what you can do to help them.

2. Check yourself.

It’s hard to admit when you’re in the wrong. And it’s very easy to be oblivious to situations that don’t happen to you on the regular basis. And I’ll be honest, I didn’t realize all the shit that we, Black men, have put our women through until I met some wonderful people on here that opened my eyes. And now, I always check myself to see what I’m doing wrong, and what I can do to really help them out. I would advise y’all to do the same.

3. Check your boys, too.

If you truly mean it when you say want to help fight misogynoir, then you MUST call out your male friends when they are perpetuating anti-Black-women behavior themselves. Try to educate them on their behavior. Explain to them how they are hurting Black women with what they’re doing. And of course, this won’t be easy. Men are naturally stubborn and prideful. I try to check my male friends whenever they start acting up, and more times than not, I was met with some hostility. But hey, somebody’s gotta open up the conversation between Black men. Why not you?

4. Do everything in your power to raise awareness.

Whenever something unfortunate happens to a Black woman at the hands of Black men or racists, speak up on their behalf. Demand justice for them. Use whatever platform you have on here or other social media to raise awareness about it. Hell, if you can, protest about it. Defend them against their oppressors. They can use as much support as possible.

If you’re a Black man, and you want to change the narrative that Black women have for us…. If you are REALLY honest about fighting misogynoir in the Black community…. This is your outline of steps. Hold yourself to it.

Sincerely,

A Salty Black Guy who has been awakened

