Filming yourself having sex can be fun and sexy, according to the experts (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Most people have at some point or another wondered what they look like while they have sex.

Modern technology provides us with ample opportunity to find out; positioning your smartphone somewhere in your room is a lot easier than having to dig out a proper video camera and stand before getting down to business.

It’s not purely sex either; people are filming themselves masturbating and doing other sexual acts that don’t include penetration, and then sending these to their lovers or partners.

What is it about filming ourselves doing something dirty that turns us on so much? We ask the experts.




Annabelle Knight, who is the sex and relationships expert at Lovehoney, tells Metro.co.uk that there’s a very simple reason behind why we’re obsessed with filming ourselves.

‘More people are filming themselves having sex with their partner because it is fun,’ said Annabelle.

‘Let’s face it, our whole lives are captured on our smart phones, so why not sex, too? Lots of couples get off on watching themselves afterwards on film and having sex again because they are so turned on.

‘And if you are going to dress up in sexy outfits for a session, of course you are going to want footage of the action.’

A study by the dating site for people who want to have an affair, Illicit Encounters, revealed that one third of couples have filmed themselves having sex and three quarters of participants stated they had used their phone to ‘enhance’ their sex lives, either by taking photos or watching erotic videos (which could be their own or, of course, porn).

But if you’re considering doing it yourself, there are some do’s and don’ts.

Annabelle recommends not mixing alcohol and sex filming, as well as making sure you’re with someone you trust to keep the footage private.

‘It is not a good idea to get the cameras out with a new partner or someone you don’t trust completely.’

‘Who knows where the footage might end up? You just don’t know who they will be sharing it with.

‘By all means film with someone you trust but on the strict agreement that you both delete the footage in the event of a split.’

Do bare in mind however, should someone share a video of you and you have not consented for them to do so, you can report it to the police.

Get those funky positions on tape and watch it afterwards (Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Stu Nugent, sex expert at Lelo, believes there is another reason why we like making sex tapes – it’s ‘self-eroticism’.

‘Perhaps we’re all narcissists at heart: we all want to see ourselves as sexual, and by filming ourselves, we can do that literally, over and over again,’ he tells Metro.co.uk. ‘But it’s not a new thing. It’s just masturbating in the mirror for the digital age. ‘There’s something intensely intimate about self-eroticism, and there’s something inherently sexy about watching yourself having sex while you’re having sex. It’s all very meta.’ Dr Becky Spelman, relationship expert at We-Vibe, agrees that there may be a level of narcissism in filming or watching yourself have sex or masturbating. However, she explains that this may run deeper than just being ego-centric; some people just find sexual pleasure in themselves, rather than their partner. ‘First of all, we live in an image- and porn-saturated world, and many of us are intensely involved with social media,’ said Becky. ‘For people who grew up in this environment, creating erotic images of themselves can seem like a normal, ordinary extension of how they live so much of their lives online.

‘In some cases, a desire to see oneself engaged in sexual activity on the screen can involve auto-eroticism, or a tendency to find sexual pleasure in oneself, rather than in others.

‘In these cases, the person viewing themselves engaged in sexual activity with someone else is actually turned on by the images of themselves, and the other individual involved is equivalent to a sex toy or another prop.



‘Sometimes there is a narcissistic element to watching oneself on screen, too. People who are narcissistic can display a rather egotistical tendency to admire an idealised version of their self-image and their attributes, including their sexual attributes.

‘In fact, for people of this bent, looking at moving images of themselves having sex can be a challenge to their narcissism, because the reality of their body’s appearance and sexual prowess might not live up to the idealised version in their minds.’

The most important aspect of creating a sex tape is that both parties want to do so.

Some people may feel pressured into filming their sex life by their partner or to create a video for someone they’re chatting to because they’re consistently asking or threatening to not keep talking to them, unless they do.

Remember that sex tapes are meant to turn both people on, not act as an incentive. If someone doesn’t respect that or says they’ll lose interest in you for saying no, they’re not worth your attention.

And as for the practical stuff – which position, where to do it and what lighting is best – try your way.

That’s the fun part.

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