We are all looking for civility in a very uncivil time. It is unsettling to the core.

But for me, who has had to fight and bounce back, whatever the adversity, I can see many bright sides. Yes, I remain afraid and cautious and awaiting the backlash. But I know wonderful men who say “I don’t understand how and why men behave this way. It’s not even in my vocabulary to think about treating a woman that way.” For these men, the movement is about awareness. A panel like this is an eye-opener for them — they all say they had no idea what we endure — that every woman on that stage had stories that were gender-specific.

I felt renewed anger when I listened to Hayley Neubauer’s story of being ‘un-hired’ from a job when she told the producer of the show that she was pregnant. She had told me this story before, and I had offered to help her deal with the illegality of the situation. She declined, knowing that the result would be that she would gain a reputation for being ‘difficult’ and that would be career suicide. I was outraged, as I frequently am when people close to me are abused, but fully understood.

I have been witness to friends being sexually harassed and have spoken directly to the perpetrator and told him to stop it. I have stood up against unequal pay when it didn’t have to do with myself. I have even asked bosses to stop verbally harassing other people. But when these things happened to me, I am frightened: when I lost a job because I was pregnant, when I took lower pay than the men doing equal duties, when I was touched inappropriately, or told that the job wasn’t good for women or that they’d had a woman before and “it hadn’t worked out,” I was silent. There is always someone to take your place if you are seen as “problematic.”