Men Are “Sexual Beings,” Right? Wrong. March 11, 2010

Posted by FCM in authors picks Tags: male privilege

this narrative is so old and tired it could be mocked in a superbowl ad (and i think it should be. seriously). men are sexual beings!!!11!!1!1 thats the premise we are all expected to swallow, and we get it already. they like to get laid. they want them some poon. they think about it every point-zero seconds and shit. its even like, hardwired and stuff.

yes, its so thoroughly assumed to be true that its even been explained. with science! now, science can “explain” the origin of things that arent even real! how…disquieting. and its also been mansplained to death, but that goes without saying doesnt it? but what a great indicator of the popular, most base-level understanding of any issue: what the doodbros try mansplaining to the rest of us, when they are drunk. and sober.

think for a second, if you havent already, what mens sexuality (including their alleged “desire”) would look like, if they werent having PIV-sex with women and didnt feel entitled to it, either. would men be lining up to enjoy sex with women, if it didnt involve sticking their dicks into us? would their cultural fucking pasttime be picking up women in bars, so that they could pleasure us with dildos? or better yet, for illustrative purposes, non-phallic-looking external vibrators? would they make video games and movies and advertisements extolling it? no. they wouldnt.

and their interest in only a certain type of porn tells us all we need to know. most men would not obsessively use porn that only included women and ugly, external vibrators, and no dicks anywhere. they wouldnt spend a single evening alone watching us massaging other men with essential oils. or, you know, watching us penetrating them with stuff. but giving men anal is a legitimate sex act too, and one that many if not most het men enjoy, not unimportantly. they fucking like taking it in the ass! yes, they do!

so the question becomes, with all those pleasurable sex acts out there that *dont* put girls and women at risk for pregnancy and STDs, and that men fucking well enjoy, why do they seem to like PIV-sex so much more? why would they feel “incomplete” and “disappointed” without it? this is not a rhetorical question.

its because they fucking feel entitled to it, thats why. and it illustrates the difference between a “preference” and an “entitlement.”

simply put, i would feel both disappointed and incomplete if i had to eat fish and chips without coleslaw, and malt vinegar. it comes with it, and its free, and i fucking want some. thats my preference. my *strong* preference, even. and even so, i really dont care about it that much. but multiply those very ordinary feelings of disappointment and incompleteness times a billion, and i think we are coming close to understanding—and its fucking horrific—men, and their feelings of entitlement to “poon.” and men clearly think of PIV as the main course too, but interestingly i cant even imagine an analogy to an ordinary, everyday “preference” that would parallel that dynamic. although i admit i am not trying that hard at the moment. can you?

and obviously, my preference for coleslaw and malt vinegar doesnt fucking hurt anyone. cabbage is not the one and only cause of obstetric fistula, gestational diabetes, prolonged labor, or known to cause illness and death. its never given anyone AIDS. its not directly causative of poverty, or destroying another persons career.

and noone has ever been beaten or murdered over malt vinegar, and they never fucking will be.

no, men are not “sexual beings” at all, are they? certainly not any more so than anyone else, and seemingly much, much less, when we examine it in any honest way, at all. if men were the “sexual beings” they claim to be, they would be just as interested in a massage, or in getting us off, instead. (thats right, fun-fems, i said “instead,” not “too.”) or shoving things up their butts. all that “other stuff” is “sexual” afterall. duh.

in reality, these allegedly “sexual” men, arent: they are simply aggressive and entitled, and routinely abuse girls and women by demanding PIV-sex, which is problematic for us, and not them. theres really nothing more to it, than that. and all the mansplaining in the world wont change it.