Is Chivalry Dead?

What it means to be a man in the 21st century

Surprise! You thought this was going to be an article about gender roles didn’t you? But it’s not, you silly bugger. This is about actual chivalry, knights and the orders in which they operated. So if you would rather chat about gender, relationships or other stuff like that, feel free to excuse yourself.

Excellent, off to a good start. Now, let’s talk about knights. Where did they come from and where are they now? Well, the concept of knights was supposedly born in ancient Rome. Nobles, who were rich enough to ride into battle on horseback, became known as ‘Equites’. Later they would go on to form their own social class, beneath the aristocratic Patricians and above the working class Plebians. So we can see that even before the Middle Ages began, the very idea of mounted nobles existed. Is that relevant? Probably not. Carrying on.

Geoffrey the Blacksmith

Fast forward to the 12th Century. You’re a sad toothless pilgrim on your way to Jerusalem to pay homage to your glorious omnipotent sky god, or whatever. When all of a sudden, bam! Bandits surround you. They demand all your worldly possessions, which, by this point of the journey, would’ve probably been a walking stick and three carrots. Alas, they care not, and want your precious carrots anyway. Then… out of nowhere, you hear the thunderous pounding of hooves and the rattling of swords against shields. Behold, knights have come to your rescue! The bandits scatter to the wind and you are saved. This compelling narrative describes one of first duties of knights during the Middle Ages, to protect pilgrims on their way to the Holy Land.

Ironclad — great film

So who were these people and what did they do? Well, the most famous order (thanks to Dan Brown) was the Knights Templar, also known as ‘The Poor Fellow-Soldiers of Christ and of the Temple of Solomon’. The order was created for this exact reason, to ensure pilgrims of the Christian faith survived the perilous journey to the Middle East. The Knights Templar is also credited with creating the world’s first ever banking system. That’s right, they were a bunch of bankers. The concept was simple. If Geoffrey the blacksmith from Kent wanted to go to Jerusalem, he would first visit the Knights Templar. He would then deposit the desired amount, and having arrived at his destination, would withdraw the exact amount he had deposited earlier. However, not many people made it to their destination, and thus, the ironically named Poor Fellow-Soldiers of Christ and of the Temple of Solomon became filthy rich.

According to some people, this led to their demise in the 14th Century, when Philip IV of France decided he would ‘relieve’ them of their wealth. Philip ordered the mass execution of the Templar Knights on Friday, 13 October 1307, which some people claim, started the whole superstitious Friday the 13th bad luck thingy.

But what about knights in the modern age? Introducing the Knights Hospitaller, otherwise known as the ‘Order of the Knights of Saint John of Jerusalem’. As the name suggests, it all started with a hospital in Jerusalem in the 11th Century. A small group of individuals, dedicated to St John the Baptist, would help care for the poor, sick and wounded pilgrims arriving in Jerusalem. The order soon grew to become a large military force, tasked with defending the Holy Land from the likes of Saladin and his mates.

In 1309 the order became so powerful, they actually conquered and controlled Rhodes. Later on, they moved to Malta. During the reformation, the order began to weaken. It also didn’t help that Napoleon captured Malta in 1798. In the wake of its decline, the order shifted its focus onto more humanitarian pursuits. In 1888 they experienced a revival in the UK and received a royal charter from Queen Victoria herself.

The Maltese Cross

But what does this have to do with the present? Well, have you heard of St. John’s Ambulance? Of course you have. Those noble volunteers clad in green, that look after the drunken masses at every festival or sporting event. Always there to lend a hand, no matter how much of a nuisance you are. They are the descendants of the Knights Hospitaller. They even use the same emblem, the Maltese Cross.

Those paramedics are modern knights that uphold the same chivalric values created all those years ago in a hospital in Jerusalem. They span the globe and boast over 500,000 members. Not bad for an order of knights founded in the 11th Century.

But what about other orders? Well don’t worry, there are loads of orders that are still active, such as the Order of the Thistle, the Order of St. Patrick, and the Order of the Bath. The highest order of course, is the Most Noble Order of the Garter, of which Queen Elizabeth II is a member.

So how does one become a knight? Well I’m glad you asked. A few years ago, a couple of my mates and I got incredibly drunk. We were sitting around chatting like we normally do, when it hit me. We should become an order of knights! Earlier that day, I had read through a stack of medieval texts, and it stated, that to start a legitimate order of knights one would need:

A group of people, preferably knights. A chivalric code. A patron, preferably the sovereign or monarch of a country.

So we all had a little bit more to drink, and decided the best course of action would be to become The Order of The Knights of St Cuthbert. One of us immediately began designing our knightly robes, while another looked into getting a blacksmith to forge us swords. I think we debated on whether to get Bastard swords or Long swords, I’m not entirely sure what was decided. If we were able to become a legitimate order of knights, we would be able to put ‘Sir’ in front of our names, even on our passports!

Three members of the Order of the Knights of St. Cuthbert. (Centre Left spinning yard, Centre Right drinking yard, Far Right being a dwarf).

The next day we nursed our terrible hangovers and began drafting our creed. It was relatively simple and got the job done. The next bit however proved to be rather difficult. Apparently the Queen was too busy to take a call, so we resorted to contacting micro-nations. (In case you were wondering, micro-nations are independent entities that are not officially recognised by the UN. Like North Korea or Sealand).

So I sent out emails to almost every micro-nation I could think of. But only one replied. The Principality of Seborga located in the region of Liguria, Northwest Italy. Seborga claims it was never properly integrated into Italy, as there is no mention of the town in the Act of Unification for the Kingdom of Italy in 1861. But alas, our dreams could not come true. Seborga had to decline our offer, as they were unable to give patronage to those outside of their territory. They also mentioned that they had their own order of knights, or something like that. And so ended our foray into chivalric practices.

All in all, I think it’s safe to say that knights and their kind have not died out completely. Instead, they have morphed into ornamental organisations or charitable services, such as St. John’s Ambulance. I think it is all for the best, as they probably did more harm than good gallivanting around the Holy Land.

So the next time someone asks you if chivalry is dead, you should reply, “Of course not, it’s just been institutionalised”, and proceed to bore them with your new found knowledge of Medieval knights, knowing full well they meant gender equality and dating in the 21st century.