Oh, sweetie. We wanted to like this and we’re betting you did too.

Saoirse Ronan attends “The Grand Budapest Hotel” Premiere and opening ceremony during the 64th Berlinale International Film Festival at Berlinale Palast in Berlin in a Valentino dress paired with Jimmy Choo sandals, a Valentino headband, and a Neil Lane bracelet.

Valentino Spring 2014 Collection

But this dress is clearly FMO. For Models Only. It was designed to hang straight to the floor, with no pesky “interruptions” along the way, like, yknow, breasts or hips. Things like that. And because of that, it’s obscuring and obfuscating your own body shape. To be blunt: you’re a triangle with a boob shelf. You deserve so much better than to be a triangle with a boob shelf, wouldn’t you say?

Girl, that’s not your dress. Ship it off to Keira Knightley, who pretty much inspired every green gown designed and made in the last 6 years or so. Let’s get you in some Miu Miu or Erdem pronto, mkay?

[Photo Credit: Andreas Rentz/Getty Images, IMAXtree]