Does the Metropolitan Police have the UK’s worst customer experience?

Written by Paul Maher

Police, Camera, No Action

Autumn means I, like many, need to tidy up the garden, clear the leaves and batten down the hatches for the cold dark nights. With Jack Frost threatening I took to the garden armed with the traditional tools of an amateur botanist – rusty secateurs and an indoor broom.

During a ‘hedge-hack’ we stumbled upon a rather nice looking purse. Upon inspection, its clear lack of valuables and a receipt from late last Friday night made its arrival in our hedge most likely the result of a recent theft. It also delivered some clear lessons to be learnt for any customer-facing enterprise -courtesy of our very own London Metropolitan Police.

Like most UK citizens I feel a sense of duty to the victim of this crime. As a past casualty of multiple thefts and understanding the agonising processes required to cancel bank cards, order a new driving licence and generally replace the life we keep within a purse, it seemed unquestionable to report the discovery to the police.

One quick Google search and a calm, non-emergency call to 101 later, we pootled off to our local Police Station, purse in hand and armed with victims name, address, bank cards, oyster card, loyalty cards, the gym she attended, where she got her haircut and, perhaps most valuable of all, her EU ID card.

Even Inspector Jacques Clouseau could have tracked down the owner with no more than a Facebook search, so we were confident the Great British Police would reunite purse with owner. We would then return home to our Autumnal ‘spring-clean’ feeling like we had achieved a good deed for the day.

Greeted by an almost comical grumpiness of a person unsatisfied with their job, we quickly recited the rather simple story and attempted to hand the purse over. The purse was almost instantly shoved back in our direction with a “sorry we don’t take lost property or stolen goods anymore unless it possesses significant value”. It transpires and I quote, “the amount of paperwork involved in handling lost property and the number of purses and wallets handed in was not worth it”.

Even if I could get my head around this, it was the solution then offered which truly shocked me. On asking “So what should we do with it?” the answer came, “You are perfectly within your rights to leave the building and put it straight in the bin”. For those interested, Full details of the new streamlined approach to the service can be found here: http://content.met.police.uk/Article/Lost-and-Found-Property/1400026020816/lostandfound

Now I am no expert on the amount of crime that takes place in London every day. In fact I am very aware of the incredibly difficult job undertaken by each of the esteemed public services in this country and the budget constraints they suffer, but I found the concept of binning the life contained within this purse almost tragic. With only a basic understanding of information security I had enough information to fraudulently create a whole new identity for myself. I also felt an almost moral duty to not only try and track down the owner but hope that it was indeed ‘just’ a pickpocketing.

So we left and did exactly that, having found the owner with just one Facebook search we sent a private message explaining we had found the purse, it was safe and that we had tried to hand it into the police. We are yet to get a response.

In this social media age, how can one not be bothered to track down the owner of potentially compromising IDs and bank cards due to “too much paperwork”? Who is it the Police works for again?

The worst part is that I wouldn’t blame the owner for not getting back in touch, after all many of us have heard some sort of horror story about being tricked over social media or been told not to speak to strangers. With no formal procedure on offer what is the right thing to do in this situation? To that end I pose this question, if a commercial enterprise had a similar attitude towards it’s customers would it maintain itself as a viable business?

Yours disgruntledly, Disillusioned Citizen.