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Lazy Man Not Helping To Put Up Kneeler

West Bloomfield, MI––A source out of St. Ulric Catholic Church in West Bloomfield, Michigan confirmed Sunday that parishioner Alexander Ramsey had not lifted a finger to assist in putting up or down the kneeler for the consecration. “I can see he’s a really big guy, but come on…I know he can reach down a foot,” the source told Eye of the Tiber. “Or just use your foot, for goodness sakes. It’s not difficult…look,” he said, going on to show how it was done, putting it up then down, then up again and down again. “Oh, how hard and straining that was,” he said, mockingly, as he wiped invisible sweat from his forehead. “Look, I’m not an idiot,” the source later confirmed. “I know exactly what’s going on here. Every time I reach down for the kneeler he moves his hand toward the kneeler as if he was just about to do it. It’s alright. He may think he can pull one over on me, but he can’t pull one over God.”