Theresa May’s top military adviser has asked for Germany’s head of state to be invited to attend this year’s Remembrance Day commemorations at the Cenotaph in London, a memo photographed in Downing Street reveals.

The German president, Frank-Walter Steinmeier, had already been invited to attend a service in Westminster Abbey to mark the 100th anniversary of the end of the first world war, it suggests.

But the memo from Cdr Stephen Higham suggests concern in Downing Street that if Steinmeier did not also attend the Cenotaph wreath-laying ceremony, this would be portrayed in the media as a snub to Germany.

The memo calls for advice from other officials including Air Vice-Marshal Garry Tunnicliffe, the defence services secretary.

Veterans groups said they had not been contacted about Cdr Higham’s suggestion. Photograph: Steve Back

It says: “Firstly, the attendance of the German president at the Cenotaph. I am aware that advice has previously been submitted to No 10 and a view was taken that, on balance, German involvement should be focussed to the Westminster Abbey service, given that the Cenotaph is about remembering those who have been effected [sic] by all wars/conflicts rather than just WW1. I would welcome a fresh look at this, especially an assessment of the potential concerns from veterans associations and the risk of negative press coverage.”

It adds: “On a linked point, can we look again at our diplomatic engagement on 11 Nov – should we be [doing] something with representatives of WWI protagonists nations, perhaps between the Cenotaph and [the Westminster Abbey] Service?”

Downing Street refused to comment directly on the memo. A spokesman said: “This year, Remembrance Sunday coincidences with the armistice. We are looking at what representation would be appropriate and details of who will be attending will be set out at a later date.”

Tony Hayes, the chief executive of the Veterans Association UK, said he suspected the decision to invite Steinmeier to the Cenotaph was linked to the Brexit negotiations.

He said: “Theresa May has probably come up with it while she’s been lobbying the 27 European governments [over Brexit]. I think it highly likely that Theresa May is kissing arse to the Europeans.”

Hayes said he had not been consulted on the invitation. “I’m unaware of anyone from the MoD [Ministry of Defence] contacting any of the veteran organisations. Usually, we are one of the first ones to be contacted, but I’ve got no real issue with it. I’d imagine most veterans would not be too bothered about it.”

Col Richard Kemp, a former army commander, expressed concerned about the invitation. “This requires careful consideration. The Cenotaph is a sacred place,” he told the Sun, under a front-page article headlined “Hans of Peace”.

Tomorrow's front page: Secret plans to invite Germany's president to the Cenotaph for the 100th anniversary of the end of WW1 can be revealed https://t.co/V1YSuBl2pV pic.twitter.com/2KQVk6FSo6 — The Sun (@TheSun) September 23, 2018

But Bob Stewart, a former army colonel now a Tory MP, welcomed the move.

“Young German men died the same as young British men, they all fought for their country,” he said. “It is right that we commemorate all those young people who died in war.”

The Royal British Legion took a similar approach. In a statement, it said: “As a champion of remembrance, the Royal British Legion promotes the message of reconciliation after conflict and hope for a peaceful future, and we encourage the nation to embrace these core principles.”