Remember the last time you went on vacation and were disappointed by the fact that your hotel room faced the parking garage? At least you’re not this sad, sad tourist who planned a trip to Yellowstone and saw absolutely no bears.


Mashable reports that the following note was left by a guest at Yellowstone and then posted on Reddit by a friend of someone who works at the park. The note was left upon checkout by someone who does not understand how wild bears work (they don’t fuck with you unless you’ve got a pool) but is nonetheless quite polite; it’s refreshing that they were so kind about their disappointment, unlike the woman who threatened to shit herself in anger at Town Hall when Disneyland didn’t have fireworks the last time I went.

Here’s the note:

Our visit was wonderful but we never saw any Bears. Please train your bears to be where guests can see them. This was an expensive trip to not get to see Bears.


The idea of Yellowstone park rangers training their bears to be more confident around tourists is appealing— “Trust me, they love it when you eat their picnics! It’s the price they pay for Instagramming you!”—and furthermore, this note is a lovely example of Darwinism in action. Imagine if this person really did see a bear. Can’t you just visualize them getting all up in that bear’s business because they believe that the bear is trained by Yellowstone not to eat tourists? “Honey, get me my selfie stick! This bear is about to be my #MCM. No, it’s okay, they’re trained! Just look at it roaring! Hey, you think it’s real or one of them fancy animatronics?”

We can all be happy, I guess, that these people escaped their vacation with their limbs intact. But there is some truth to this tourist’s comment as well: According to Mashable, Yellowstone bear sightings are way down due to programs that restrict the animals’ access to food and garbage left behind by visitors.

Contact the author at mark.shrayber@jezebel.com .