EA Sports published the results of its annual NHL season simulation this week, as NHL 17 was used to predict the results of the 2016-17 campaign.

And the results are … weird? Bizarre?

Did they set the game to “no offside” or something? Was there a smudge on the disc?

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Anyhoo, here’s how EA Sports sees the Eastern Conference playing out:

1 – Tampa Bay Lightning– 107 pts

2 – Montreal Canadiens – 99 pts

3 – Washington Capitals – 97 pts

4 – Pittsburgh Penguins – 93 pts

5 – Florida Panthers – 93 pts

6 – Philadelphia Flyers – 93 pts

7 – New York Islanders – 92 pts – Wild Card

8 – Toronto Maple Leafs – 91 pts – Wild Card

9 – New York Rangers – 89 pts

10 – Detroit Red Wings – 87 pts

11 – Ottawa Senators – 87 pts

12 – Buffalo Sabres – 85 pts

13 – Boston Bruins – 84 pts

14 – Carolina Hurricanes – 81 pts

15 – New Jersey Devils – 79 pts

16 – Columbus Blue Jackets – 76 pts

Do not adjust your screens: That’s the Toronto Maple Leafs and Auston Matthews finishing with 91 points and taking the second wild card spot. Finishing two points behind the Panthers. Finishing two points ahead of the New York Rangers.

Oh, and the Montreal Canadiens finishing with 99 points. More on that in a moment.

Here’s the Western Conference:

1 – Nashville Predators– 110 pts

2 – Dallas Stars – 107 pts

3 – San Jose Sharks – 107 pts

4 – Chicago Blackhawks – 102 pts

5 – St. Louis Blues – 95 pts – Wild Card

6 – Los Angeles Kings – 93 pts

7 – Minnesota Wild – 87 pts – Wild Card

8 – Edmonton Oilers – 85 pts

9. Calgary Flames – 84 pts

10. Arizona Coyotes – 83 pts

11. Winnipeg Jets – 82 pts

12. Anaheim Ducks – 77 pts

13. Colorado Avalanche – 74 pts

14. Vancouver Canucks – 63 pts

Yep, the Edmonton Oilers are the third-place team in the Pacific Division, as the Anaheim Ducks fall to 77 points. (Although we do love the idea that the Oilers and Flames would battle until the last weekend of the season for that last playoff spot.)

Who wins the Stanley Cup? The Predators, a chalk pick for many.

Over the Montreal Canadiens.

P.K. Subban over Shea Weber.

Sorry, did our bittersweet hearts actually write the code for this game?

From EA Sports:

After perhaps one of the biggest one-for-one deals in NHL history, Shea Weber and the Montreal Canadiens find themselves against P.K. Subban and the Nashville Predators. The Nashville Predators continue their regular season dominance and win the Stanley Cup Finals in Game 6. Filip Forsberg takes home the Conn Smythe Trophy as Playoff MVP after registering 26 points in the postseason.

Well, that would be fun. But keep in mind that the EA Sports A.I. appears to have a real affection for the Canadiens, having picked them to play for the Stanley Cup last season vs. the Anaheim Ducks. Well, at least the Ducks made the playoffs…

According to the EA Sports simulation, Connor McDavid will win the Art Ross and the Hart Trophy; Brent Burns wins the Norris; Vladimir Tarasenko wins the Rocket Richard, with Alex Ovechkin apparently having retired or something; and Carey Price gets his Vezina back.

Oh, and Auston Matthews wins the Calder, but all he has to do is show a basic level of competence at playing in the NHL and the Toronto voting bloc is going to hand it to him like they gave Drew Doughty the Norris before last season …

Well, there you have it. Your 2016-17 NHL season. Now, when they say “IT’S IN THE GAME!” do they mean hallucinogens?

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Greg Wyshynski is a writer for Yahoo Sports. Contact him at puckdaddyblog@yahoo.com or find him on Twitter. His book, TAKE YOUR EYE OFF THE PUCK, is available on Amazon and wherever books are sold.

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