Gameplay Edit

Synopsis Edit

Setting Edit Da game is set up in tha Continent, a gangbangin' fantasy ghetto surrounded by parallel dimensions n' extra-dimensionizzle ghettos yo. Humans, elves, dwarves, monstas n' other creatures co-exist on tha Continent yo, but non-humans is often persecuted fo' they differences. Da Continent is caught up in a war between tha empire of Nilfgaard[33]�"led by Emperor Emhyr var Emreis (Charlez Dance),[34] whoz ass invaded tha Uptown Mackdaddydoms[33]�"and Redania, ruled by Mackdaddy Radovid V.[35] Several locations appear, includin tha free hood of Novigrad,[36] tha Redanian hood of Oxenfurt, tha no manz land of Velen, tha hood of Vizima (forma capital of tha recently conquered Temeria), tha Skellige islandz (home ta nuff muthafuckin Norse-Gaels Vikin clans) n' tha witcher stronghold of Kaer Morhen.[35][37] Da main characta is tha Witcher, Geralt of Rivia (Doug Cockle),[38] a monsta hunta trained since childhood up in combat, tracking, alchemy n' magic, n' made stronger, fasta n' resistant ta toxins by mutagens yo. Dude be aided by his wild lil' freak, tha bangin sorceress Yennefer of Vengerberg (Denise Gough),[38] his wild lil' forma ludd interest Triss Merigold (Jaimi Barbakoff),[38] tha bard Dandelion (Jizzy Schwab), tha dwarf warrior Zoltan Chivay (Alexander Morton),[39][33] n' Geraltz Witcher mentor Vesemir (Lil' Willy Roberts).[39][35] Geralt is spurred tha fuck into action by tha reappearizzle of his thugged-out n' Yenneferz adopted daughter, Ciri (Jo Wyatt).[39] Ciri be a Source, born wit innate (and potentially vast) magical abilities; afta tha apparent dirtnap of her muthafathas, dat biiiiatch was trained as a witcher while Yennefer taught her magic.[33] Ciri disappeared muthafuckin years before ta escape tha Wild Hunt, a crew of spectral warriors hustled by tha Mackdaddy of tha Wild Hunt: tha elf Eredin, from a parallel dimension.[35] Plot Edit See also: Heartz of Stone n' Blood n' Wine Geralt rejoins his fuckin long-lost freak, Yennefer, up in tha hood of White Orchard. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Yennefer drops some lyrics ta his ass dat Emperor Emhyr has summoned his ass ta tha hood of Vizima. Emhyr tasks Geralt wit findin Ciri, whoz ass has recently been peeped up in nuff muthafuckin places. Ciri is tha daughta of tha emperor n' tha last heir ta a ancient elder bloodline wit tha juice ta manipulate space n' time. Geralt first hears dat Ciri was up in Velen at Crowz Perch, tha Bloody Baronz fort.[40] Da baron refuses ta help yo, but Geraltz acquaintance, tha sorceress Keira Metz, drops some lyrics ta his ass dat a elven mage was lookin fo' Ciri. Keira directs Geralt ta tha Cronez of Crookback Bog: malicious, ancient spirits livin near Velen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Da Crones say dat they captured Ciri fo' tha Wild Hunt before she escaped n' have enslaved Anna, tha baronz missin hoe. Geralt returns ta tha baron, whoz ass drops some lyrics ta his ass dat Ciri went ta Novigrad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude discovers dat tha Church of tha Eternal Fire, a militant religious organization, is purgin mages up in Novigrad. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Meetin his wild lil' forma freak, Triss Merigold, Geralt learns dat Ciri had contacted his wild lil' playa Dandelion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Geralt navigates Novigradz criminal underworld ta rescue Dandelion, n' learns dat Ciri teleported ta tha Skellige archipelago. In Novigrad, Geralt may help Triss ta free fugitizzle mages yo. Dude sails ta Skellige n' rejoins Yennefer, whoz ass has been investigatin a magical explosion linked ta Ciri. They track Ciri ta tha island of Hindarsfjall, which has been beat down by tha Wild Hunt. Geralt n' Yennefer realise dat Uma, a thugged-out deformed, cursed creature at Crowz Perch, was present afta Ciriz escape. Before leavin Skellige, Geralt can help determine whoz ass will rule Skellige afta tha mackdaddyz dirtnap. Yennefer severs tha magical bond between her n' Geralt, givin his ass tha option of affirmin or endin they relationshizzle. They brang Uma ta tha witcher school of Kaer Morhen, where Yennefer removes his curse n' transforms his ass tha fuck into Avallac'h yo. Dude reveals dat tha pimpin' muthafucka teleported Ciri ta tha Isle of Mists ta save her from tha Lofoten attack. Geralt travels ta tha island n' findz Ciri up in a thugged-out dirtnaplike state, until she be awakened by Avallac'hz magic. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch say dat Eredinz (the Mackdaddy of tha Wild Hunt) homeworld is bein fucked wit by tha White Frost, n' da thug wants Ciriz juice ta conquer tha Continent. Ciri n' Geralt teleport ta Kaer Morhen, pursued by tha Wild Hunt fo' realz. Afta a funky-ass brief reunion wit Yennefer, Triss, n' Vesemir (their witcher mentor), tha Hunt attacks. Vesemir is capped protectin Ciri; her distress unleashes her Elder power, n' Eredin n' tha Hunt retreat. Geralt, Triss, Yennefer, Ciri, n' they allies conduct a gangbangin' funeral fo' Vesemir. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Ciri n' Geralt travel ta Novigrad n' help Triss n' Yennefer reform tha Lodge of Sorceresses ta aid they fight. They learn bout tha Sunstone, a relic which can lure Eredin up n' bind his ass ta a location. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. On tha Skelligan island of Undvik, Avallac'h uses tha Sunstone ta draw up tha Hunt n' they fleet. Geralt, Ciri, they allies, n' tha Nilfgaardian fleet battle tha Hunt, n' Geralt defeats Eredin up in combat fo' realz. As tha White Frost descendz on Skellige, Ciri insists dat she must confront it wit her Elder Blood before it consumes all game on every last muthafuckin ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Biatch entas a portal n' defeats tha White Frost, endin tha threat. Da game endin varies, dependin on previous chizzles. If Ciri is kickin it, Geralt can retire wit Triss or Yennefer or remain a lone witcher n' shit. If Geralt helps Nilfgaard win tha war n' brangs Ciri ta hook up tha emperor, dat biiiiatch will become empress; if Ciri do not hook up tha emperor, Geralt fakes her dirtnap n' da hoe becomes a witcher n' shit. If Ciri aint peeped again n' again n' again afta defeatin tha White Frost, Geralt assumes her ta be dead n' then dat schmoooove muthafucka hunts down tha last remainin Crone ta retrieve Ciriz jacked medallion. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But fuck dat shiznit yo, tha word on tha street is dat Ciriz actual fate is unknown all up in tha end of dis particular game ending.

Development Edit

Release Edit

Reception Edit

Notes Edit