If you were listening closely this week, you could hear the nation filled with the sound of laughter — the joyous heckling and mockery of Toronto ringing out from across Canada. It’s a favourite sport in the Rest of Canada (or the Greater Toronto Area, as many of us here tend to think of it), resentful sneering at those of us in the largest and richest city, but some occasions turn up the volume on the federal laugh track.

This week, for instance. But this is the time every year where rather than feel defensive, I think Torontonians should celebrate, and laugh along, be proud of provoking such laughter. Because this week we were the target of mockery, as we become around this time of year, because the City of Toronto officially called an extreme cold weather alert, the first of the year coming on Wednesday morning.

In November! Why do they call Toronto The Six? Because that’s the temperature at which Torontonians freeze! Call in the army, amiright?

Almost as soon as the alert was communicated through official channels and media outlets, the ribbing began on social media. I won’t single out particular people — they were only engaging in the honoured national pastime of Hogtown bashing and don’t deserve to be personally called out for it, if you ask me — but from places like Winnipeg and Ottawa and Saskatchewan, where I’m given to understand that residents climb into their freezers to warm up, and like it that way, the general reaction was that this was a hilarious example of Torontonian frailty. “Welcome to Canada,” was the sentiment, where a projected temperature of -15 Celsius and a windchill of -20 should be considered by True People of the North to be no big deal and in fact might be a reason to head out to the beach.

Personally, I feel about this response kind of the way I feel about people who wheeze and cry and moan while eating the spiciest food they could order, obviously in extreme agony, and all the while tease me for ordering the medium-spice version. Maybe I’m a wimp for actually enjoying my food rather than considering it a pain-endurance trial. But I do get to enjoy mine. If they get some macho satisfaction from hating every moment of their own dinner, who am I to take that away from them?

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I see the weather teasing the same way: -13 on Nov. 22 (a Toronto record low) is more than cold enough for me, thanks. But hey, if people live somewhere in which that would be considered warm, and if for them enduring a local climate that is inhospitable to human life is a significant source of civic pride, then bully for them. The lord has given each of us our own special gifts, as my mother might say, and everyone ought to value their own.

Read more:

It’s official: This was Toronto’s coldest Nov. 22 on record

Councillors, faith leaders want funding for Toronto’s Out of the Cold program made permanent

City of Toronto issues first extreme cold weather alert of the season

But in this case my embrace in the teasing — my pride in it — stems from even more than that. See, only a few years ago, I was among those advocating for more extreme cold weather alerts, and to have them called in less extreme weather. Because we don’t actually call them, officially, as a measure of our civic machismo in the face of the icy chill.

We call them to try to save lives.

When the Medical Officer of Health in Toronto signals an extreme cold weather alert, it triggers the city’s Cold Weather Response Plan “to protect vulnerable people within the city,” through enhanced services. For instance, the city works harder to get homeless people indoors, enhancing overnight outreach efforts and opening a warming centre where they can take shelter.

Once upon a time, the city insisted on a more rigorous definition of extreme cold. In recent years, they have “evolved” this definition as an official told me in 2017, to ensure the city is more prepared to help people, even in less bone-chilling temperatures.

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We need to do a heck of a lot more (more on that soon), but this is progress.

So have all the laughs you want at our expense, and I’ll smile along with you. I mean, this cold is uncomfortable, but it’s not that extreme. It’s funny, as long as you don’t need to sleep outside. And that’s no joke.

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