Warhammer players seize branch of Games Workshop

Protesters have occupied a branch of Games Workshop in protest at rules changes which mean they may lose their favourite characters.

Described as ‘militant’ warhammer players, the group of 150 seized the Stevenage branch over New Year when it was lightly guarded and announced their intention to ‘kill or be killed’ in order to defend their expertly painted miniatures.

Warhammer fans are known as a tight-knit and insular group who live in seclusion, shun outsiders and massively overreact to any perceived threat to their highly prized armies.

Recent rules updates to Warhammer are believed to have sparked the protests, with thousands of players expected to lose to prized heroes and years of effort in learning complex, byzantine rules exploit, and this is seen as another flareup in years of conflict between Games Workshop and their customers.

Calling themselves Aelf-Queda, the group have confirmed their willingness to stay for years, as they’ve now got loads of figures and paints which will keep them occupied pretty much indefinitely.

Speaking to us through a pair of tin cans and a piece of string, Aelf-Queda member Simon Williams told us that the group had to take a “Hard Stand” over Games Workshop’s treatment of loyal customers.

“We’re calling on other groups to stand up and join us”, he said. “Especially anyone with a Chaos or Slaanesh army, as those bad boys can really tip things in your favour”.

“Why, no, I’ve never felt the loving touch of a woman, why do you ask?”

Games Workshop are reported to be ‘not that fussed’ by the protesters as they might not like the new rules but they’re still buying them.