I get to figure out how to have a future and understand that I may not live to see it. I'm not one of those people living with HIV who's like, "I'm going to be fine; I'm going to survive this," and I'm not one of those people living with HIV who's lived with this, "It's hopeless; it's useless." I have figured out some spiritual way to live with "both/and," and that two competing things can be true at the same time.