Raising a tiny human that is literally 100 percent dependent on you is no easy task. So parents should be celebrated for doing the best they can under difficult circumstances, right?

Not in this social media-centric world. Mom-shaming trolls are determined to make parenting even more complicated. From Kelly Clarkson getting lambasted for feeding her kids Nutella to Chrissy Teigen getting shamed for daring to go out on a date night with husband John Legend mere weeks after giving birth, armies of online critics are ready to pounce on mothers for tiny, inconsequential decisions that really shouldn't be anybody else's business. And it's not just celebrities getting targeted by mom-shamers. Most of the time, it's stressed-out, overworked, and exhausted mothers without legions of adoring fans waiting to jump to their defense.

So what's it like to find yourself berated on the Internet by bullying strangers? These women opened up about being publicly criticized — and why moms seem to be such common targets.

Britni de la Cretaz

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Britni de la Cretaz is careful about her Facebook privacy settings, so she was caught off guard when she received an administrative message in July 2015 notifying her that someone had reported a photo of breastfeeding her daughter. Facebook explicitly allows breastfeeding photos, so the offending picture wasn't removed, but the incident was still upsetting for de la Cretaz. Since her privacy settings are so tight, she quickly realized that the person who reported the photo must be one of her Facebook friends.

The writer and mother of two reposted the photo, noting that it was totally in line with Facebook's policy. Her anonymous troll persisted, too, once again reporting the photo. After four rounds of this back-and-forth — she'd post a nursing photo, they'd report — de la Cretaz's story went viral, spreading to websites like Mirror and The Daily Dot. The coverage drew more trolls out of the Internet's dark corners to tear her down and criticize her for her "public nudity." There was one bright spot for the former social worker and self-described feminist parent: Her story also received widespread support from empathetic readers that leapt to her defense.

How did it feel to realize that it must have been one of your Facebook "friends" that was reporting your breastfeeding photo?

I was pissed, to be honest. The worst part is that Facebook doesn't tell you who reported it, so I couldn't even unfriend the person. I would have rather them hide me from their feed or quietly unfriend me, especially because what I was doing wasn't shameful or against Facebook's terms of service. It felt like I was being sent a message that my body or my mothering or my feeding of my child was something I needed to be shamed for.

How did your Facebook "battle" end?

I never found out who was reporting, and they eventually stopped. A bunch of my friends posted breastfeeding selfies in the comments of my post as a show of solidarity, which was amazing.

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Why do you think so many still people find breastfeeding offensive in today's society?

Because we're taught that women's bodies are shameful, and I see it as a form of trying to exhibit patriarchal control of a woman's body. Our breasts are inherently sexualized, which makes exposing them "dirty." And any use of our bodies or breasts that exists beyond the male gaze or for male pleasure is frowned upon and therefore shamed or condemned.

What advice do you have for moms who want to be more open about motherhood but are afraid they'll be judged for it?

That's a decision they have to make for themselves, whether the haters are worth it. For me, they are, because for every person who tells me I suck, I know there are hundreds more reading that needed to see or read what I shared.

Simone Gately

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Simone Gately has close to 50,000 followers on Instagram, where she showcases ways to squeeze fitness and exercise into a busy schedule. Her own fitness success story started off with a struggle that's familiar to so many moms: How could she lose her baby weight after her first daughter was born? And once she got down to her goal weight, how could she maintain it, given the new demands on her time?

Now a mother of five, those demands have only increased — still, that hasn't stopped Gately from keeping up with her workout routine. One of her key tips for busy moms is to incorporate children into their routines by working out together and even by using children as weights for squats and push-ups. But while the personal trainer and aspiring author has gained a steady following of supporters, she also faces a constant stream of cruel mom-shamers and trolls.

Were you surprised to see that your Instagram posts about keeping fit generated so many negative comments?

I fully understand that all aspects of parenting can create a platform for mixed reviews. I think being a fit mom will mean I come under fire at times, as some people may not understand how I find the time to juggle fitness, work, and kids without one element suffering.

The bullies said they didn't believe I had had my babies and that I hadn't actually given birth. They say I'm too thin, they say I clearly don't give my children the attention they need, and that I'm a bad mom. They also say that I must have a nanny and lots of money, but I don't have either. I've been told by one troll that my children must hate me. Still, I enjoy being able to share my tips to fitting in fitness because I fully understand the challenges that being a busy parent brings about.

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After getting bullied, did you have any second thoughts about continuing to post fitness photos?

There have been times that it's been unpleasant and made me feel like I would rather not endure such negativity. But most of the people who follow me and I interact with are incredibly positive and are such a great support network. It could've been easier for me to stop posting, but I wasn't going to let those kind of comments or negativity stop me from sharing what I believe to be happy and positive family images and messages. For each negative message, there will be a flurry of positive messages that I receive.

Do you think that people are misunderstanding your goals in posting the photos?

I think it's easy not to see the bigger picture when viewing social media pages. Social media is often just a snapshot in time and can be totally misconstrued. I think we could all be a bit more holistic and supportive of different groups of people. I believe all the moms are only trying their best. I'd also ask anyone who shames moms online to really address the reasons for their behavior. What is there to be achieved by saying such nasty things? Any moms that do get shamed are best off ignoring the haters and doing what feels right for them.

Trish Sammer

Courtesy of Trish Sammer

Most kids don't realize that Christmas and all it entails — the family dinners, the tree, the presents — doesn't just happen. It takes a ton of effort, planning, and preparation, often disproportionately handled by moms. That's why Trish Sammer proposed that December 26th should be "National Moms' Day Off" in an article for Scary Mommy.

Sounds pretty good, right? Not to the mom-shamers. The lighthearted article was shared over 100,000 times, but author Trish Sammer was caught off-guard when she realized that many of the comments were actually accusing her of being a bad mom.

Can you describe the range of reactions to your article?

Some of them made my heart smile. Others — well, not so much. A lot of moms seemed to love the idea of having permission to dial everything back for a day. I saw a lot of women tagging their husbands on Facebook and saying things like "Looks like you're on duty!" or tagging friends and making plans to hang out.

On the other end of the spectrum, there were people saying things like "I can't take a day off. I love my kids too much. I'm a mom every day." From some people's reactions, you would've thought I suggested that they lock their kids in a closet while mommy runs out to score some heroin. The whole point of the article was that Christmas was the day before. We live in a first-world country. Most kids probably got a buttload of toys. Is it neglectful to tell your kids to play with their brand-new loot for a few hours while mom watches Mystic Pizza for the 14th time and has a glass a wine? I don't think so.

Did you have any idea when you wrote it that you'd be a target for online bullies?

That wasn't on my mind at all. I just wrote it because I thought it was fun and time off for moms is a cause that I passionately believe in. I never recall seeing my mom sit down or do anything for herself when we were kids. Then, after I became a mother, I felt supremely guilty that I still had interests outside of my children. I thought something was wrong with me. It took me a few years to realize that it was OK to have desires that had nothing to do with being a mom. In any case, I think it's wise to teach our children that world does not revolve around them. Otherwise, we're just setting them up for disappointment later. After the mom-shaming started I was a little surprised, but not shocked. Mommy judgment has been going on for a long time.

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What did it feel like to be criticized by strangers?

People made a lot of assumptions about who I am and how I parent my children. I'd like to say that I was above getting angry, but that would be a lie.

In my mind, I crafted an extremely insightful rebuttal to the negative comments, in which I pointed out how sad and weird it is that in America today it's considered blasphemy for a mother to take a moment for herself. I discussed how it's healthy for kids to learn how to entertain themselves. I reminded people that our daughters will emulate us and we should model for them that it's OK to have something for themselves, and that life is not about giving every ounce of energy away to husbands and children.

But then I said "screw it" and decided not to get into it. I figured I had little chance of changing anyone's mind and I didn't want to spend my own Mom's Day Off fighting with a bunch strangers.

Why do you think Mom-shaming is such a common phenomenon online?

Mostly because a lot people are judgmental cows. (I kid. I'm kidding.) Seriously, I think it's because mothering can be so hard. We invest so much in every little thing we do for our children. Maybe there's an impulse to believe that we have to justify our decisions and in so doing, we make everyone else's decisions wrong.

But I think that only works for so long. I've known fantastic mothers who were absolutely killing it with the whole parenting thing whose kids ended up in trouble anyway. On the flipside, I've seen people who grew up in horrifying circumstances turn out way better than they had any right to. At some point, you have to realize there's only so much you can control. In the end, I figured that me sitting on the couch for a few hours on the day after Christmas was unlikely to turn any of my children into meth addicts.

Lea Grover

Courtesy of Lea Glover

When her three kids were younger and Lea Grover found herself struggling with anxiety, the writer and mental health care advocate found that small amounts of cannabis helped to ease her symptoms. After writing about her experiences for Cosmopolitan.com, Grover was contacted by women who thanked her for publicly speaking out about how cannabis can help with mental health issues.

But not everybody was supportive, and people online authors to conservative radio show TV hosts seemed to feel like they were entitled to weigh in with a judgment on her parenting.

Your story made it onto the Fox and Friends talk show. What was it like to see people who don't know you talking about you on television?

It was truly and utterly bizarre. Fox and Friends reached out to me and asked me to be on the show. It was my first brush with anything like fame, and I dithered all day about what to tell them. When I finally decided, no, I wouldn't do the show, I found out they'd done it without me! So there was my picture, and there were these talking heads, arguing not about if I was a bad mother, but how bad a mother I was. I was actually really impressed with the woman they found to defend me, and the whole thing was kind of hilarious.

But it was a bit awkward afterwards. Every time I met another mom through the preschool or a play group and they asked what I did, I hesitated. Normally I'd say I'm a writer and they could Google me, but I had to gauge whether or not I could trust somebody not to judge me for whatever they found. It's hard to talk about what you do with other adults when you're all over the internet in articles about what a criminal you are. But mostly, that was on my end. As concerned as I was about the reactions of other parents, or worse, preschool administrators, nobody ever treated me as less than a dedicated mom, doing my best.

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Do you think people who criticized you misunderstood your message?

Absolutely. On Fox and Friends, for example, they compared my cannabis usage —taking two puffs from a "one hitter" [an inconspicuous device used to smoke small amounts] — to "slamming a bottle of Jack Daniels." I think the first thing they misunderstood is that getting high enough to feel an emotional benefit is completely different from being drunk. They drew comparisons that were outrageous and insane, but I don't exactly blame them. The way politicians talk about marijuana in general in this country is so insane; it's classified with heroin, when it's medically harmless. It doesn't affect the autonomic nervous system, meaning you can't overdose and die like you can with, say, alcohol. So I think a lot of people misinterpreted me in that they believed I was saying that being completely inebriated makes people better parents, and that's patently untrue. What I was saying was that taking care of yourself makes you a better parent, and for me, that meant using small amounts of marijuana to medicate in a way that states with medical marijuana programs would have prescribed anyway — like in my own state. In the article I mentioned that I had tried traditional medicine, but prescription drugs like Xanax just put me to sleep, and an unconscious parent is not a better parent.

The other thing many people misunderstood was the "why" of it. People accused me of having to smoke in order to deal with my kids. That wasn't it at all. It wasn't about dealing with my kids, it was about dealing with myself. It was never a problem with them, it was a problem with me. I have anxiety, and as a stay-at-home parent of three under three, there was no escape from my own triggers, from being touched without my consent, from the noise level, from the constant motion. I didn't want an escape. What I wanted was a way not to feel overwhelming anxiety when traditional medication was incapacitating.

Do you think there's any way to rein in mom-shaming?

I think mom-shaming is a symptom of a deep-rooted misogyny in our culture in general. Men don't get shamed for the way they parent, unless they're overtly abusive or notoriously absent they seem to get a free pass. Women, on the other hand, not only experience judgment over everything we do, but internalize that to the point we do it to each other. I think that if we could all say "women are people, and they don't all have to be spectacular at everything to be acceptable in anything," mom-shaming would evaporate pretty quickly.

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