With PRO Rugby just on the horizon and the announcement of a significant portion of the rosters, this seems like as good a time as any to ponder ‘what if?’ Many fans have asked why there aren’t any Canadian teams in the inaugural competition but instead of regurgitating things already discussed, let’s step into the world of fantasy and assume that there were teams north of the 49th.

In fact, if we’re gonna do this, let’s do it right. We’re diving into the deep end of the kool-aid pool and pretending that we had not one but four teams entered, using the pre-existing Canadian Rugby Championship regional model. Do we even have that many ‘high performance’ players to pick from? Where would they play out of? We’ll get to that shortly.

First, we need some parameters. The World Cup made room for 31 players but that’s just an ugly number so we’re sticking with squads of 30. Only players immediately eligible for Canada will be selected, with one exception which will be noted later. We’re also going to draft in all of our top overseas pros, because our fantasy teams are funded by billionaire philanthropist Jeffrey Skoll, so we can afford to buy the likes of Ardron and Sinclair out of their European contracts.

Next, we need to acknowledge our 7s program. We’re assuming our teams are part of the actual league that starts in a month so we’re leaving out 15 players to prepare for the Olympic qualifiers. Specifically, that means: John Moonlight, Mike Fuailefau, Admir Cejvanovic, Adam Zaruba, Nanyak Dala, Mike Scholz, Phil Mack, Sean White, Lucas Hammond, Nathan Hirayama, Harry Jones, Pat Kay, Conor Trainor, Sean Duke, and Justin Douglas are sitting this one out.

That also means some hopefuls are missing out on possibly making the games in Rio. Sorry fellas, there’s a lot of competition and tough decisions had to be made. Look on the bright side, this isn’t actually real.

Given those stipulations, the selection principles are pretty straight forward. Our World Cup and Americas Rugby Championship players will be allocated to their home regions, and after that an effort will be made to keep everyone as close to home as possible. When it came to BC and Ontario that was a pretty easy task. For the Wolf Pack and the Rock there had to be a few draft picks, but we’ll get to that.

Lastly, Jamie Cudmore won’t be playing because he’ll be a coach, or at the very least a selector. We’ll leave the rest of the coaching staff out of it for now.

BEARS

The province-that-was becomes the province-that-is. At last the left-coasters get their ducks in a row and field a properly representative side. Of course they’re supplying 11 of the 7s roster, but that’s just something to brag about, not bemoan. They have more than enough depth and young talent to have a crack. The team of course would be based in Vancouver, and will play out of BC Place, because it was fantastic for the 7s last weekend.

Captaining the side would be star fullback Matt Evans, who returns from the UK to inspire his former province to new (old) heights. Of course he could just as easily slot in at flyhalf, or wing, or anywhere in the backline he wanted, and he’s not the only versatile backline player included.

Connor Braid and Guiseppe du Toit cover the inside backs nicely, and Theo Sauder could be a wildcard at flyhalf or more likely in the back three. There is pace and power in the backline with youngsters like George Barton and Phil Berna mixing it up with veteran Joe Dolesau and new international Brock Staller. Scrumhalf is a bit of a crap-shoot with three recent u20 grads but that just means one will have to rise above their competitors.

Up front there are two front-line tightheads in Jason Marshall and Jake Ilnicki, and very solid lock options in Tyler Hotson, Cam Pierce, Callum Morrison, and Liam Chisholm. The back row is a nice mix of young and ambitious loose forwards. Maybe short a grinder to make the hard yards, but Luke Bradley will just have to beef up and grow into that role. There are a few contenders at loosehead prop so we’ll just go with the guys who have been in the team most recently, with top prospect Cali Martinez also in the mix.

Imports include Kiwi loosehead John Braddock, who qualifies on residency, and Ontario hooker Sawyer Herron. The Blues are well stocked at hooker and Herron is at UVic so we’ll lend him to the Bears for now, with locals Alex Mascott and Andrew Lackner providing competition. Similarly Chisholm is an Ontario native but has played his senior rugby in BC. Evans of course is English-born but grew up near Cowichan.

Every player on the roster has played to at least national u20 or senior CRC level, and nine are fully capped internationals. There are some notable names missing but when you’re a ‘have’ province you’ve got to share the wealth a bit, so before the knives come out read on as your favorite BC player just might be elsewhere.

NAME POS CLUB CAPS Braddock, John PR Castaway Wanderers – Ilnicki, Jake PR Castaway Wanderers 12 Luca, Anthony PR Burnaby Lake – Marshall, Jason PR Agen (FR) 31 Martinez, Cali PR UBC Thunderbirds – Herron, Sawyer HO UVic Vikes – Lackner, Andrew HO Burnaby Lake – Mascott, Alex HO UBC Thunderbirds – Chisholm, Liam LO UVic Vikes 2 Hotson, Tyler LO Doncaster Knights (UK) 45 Morrison, Callum LO/FL UBCOB Ravens 5 Pierce, Cameron LO Pau (FR) 2 Clark, Sam FL/LO UBC Thunderbids – Kelliher, Chase FL Capilano – Thorpe, Charlie FL UBC Thunderbirds – Bradley, Luke N8 UVic Vikes – Hamilton, Connor N8/LO UBC Thunderbirds – Keffer, Cole SH UBC Thunderbirds – Pitblado, James SH UVic Vikes – Sandover-Best, Jorden SH UBC Thunderbirds – Braid, Connor FH/CE James Bay 19 du Toit, Guiseppe FH/CE UVic Vikes – Barton, George CE Clermont Auvergne (FR) – Berna, Phil CE UBC Thunderbirds – Dolesau, Joe CE/WI Burnaby Lake 1 Staller, Brock CE/FB UBC Thunderbirds 2 Leitner, Karsten WI UBC Thunderbirds – McCloskey, Luke WI UVic Vikes – Sauder, Theo WI/FH UBC Thunderbirds – Evans, Matt FB Cornish Pirates (UK) 32

WOLF PACK

The defending CRC champions have become a formidable unit and this fabricated collection certainly is no exception. Playing out of Calgary, there’s a slight issue of where their home field would be. The Rugby Park will do for a pre-season outing but it’s a bit underwhelming for our ambitions, so until – or should we say if – CalgaryNEXT is actually a thing we’ll have to make do with McMahon Stadium. Not ideal, but not the worst choice in the league…

All good teams need a sturdy front row and veteran props Hubert Buydens and Andrew Tiedemann certainly provide that. Ryan Kotlewski is another obvious choice, and while we’re not quite sure if Peter Houlihan is back from Australia yet, he’ll get the first crack at the backup loosehead spot. Imposing prospect Liam Beaulieu is a BC boy but ‘the Fridge’ was with the Pack last year, so he’ll stay put for this season at least. The same applies to Clayton Thornber, who covers all across the front row.

With second row options from the Prairies a bit thin, we’ve had to bring in several outsiders. Evan Olmstead of course is a natural fit after two good years with the team, and Aaron Flagg arrives from BC via England as a lock or blindside option. Another BC lad, Reegan O’Gorman, flies in from New Zealand along with the Larsen brothers. Second row Josh has represented Canada at u20 level and brother Travis is a New Zealand Universities loose forward currently playing professionally in Italy.

Kyle Gilmour will captain the team with Buydens and Clay Panga able deputies, and top flanker prospect Ollie Nott has been borrowed from BC, though he is English-born so really seems fairly up for grabs. Simon Sexton is another English lad called in. He’s also played for the u20s and seems worth a second look. Adam McQueen is a BC native but has played in Alberta for a few years so ‘qualifies’ on residency. The same applies to Ontario native Graham Turner. Lucas Albornoz is of Argentine stock and born in Vancouver, but played with the Pack last year so not too much of a stretch.

The backs look dynamite, all things considered. Led by Gordon McRorie, a big chunk of the ARC group is present and when you add in overseas stars DTH van der Merwe and Jeff Hassler, things look pretty serious. Sean Ferguson is a jack-of-all-trades type who will have more opportunities with the Pack than the Bears, hence his jump across the Rockies.

Thornber, Turner, and Travis Larsen are the only players who have not worn a Canadian jersey at some level. With 15 senior caps in the side, they will be a hard slog for anyone.

NAME POS CLUB CAPS Beaulieu, Liam PR James Bay – Buydens, Hubert PR Castaway Wanderers 43 Houlihan, Peter PR Strathcona Druids – Kotlewski, Ryan PR Calgary Saints 1 Tiedemann, Andrew PR Bourgoin (FR) 38 Harrison, Matt HO Assassins – Reed, Casey HO UVic Vikes – Thornber, Clayton HO/PR Castaway Wanderers – Flagg, Aaron LO/FL Moseley (UK) 1 Larsen, Josh LO Otago University (NZ) – O’Gorman, Reegan LO Marist United (NZ) – Olmstead, Evan LO London Scottish (UK) 7 Albornoz, Lucas FL/N8 Castaway Wanderers – Gilmour, Kyle FL Rotherham (UK) 15 Nott, Ollie FL UVic Vikes – Larsen, Travis N8/FL Petrarca (IT) – Panga, Clay N8 St. Albert 4 McRorie, Gordon SH/FH Calgary Hornets 18 Robinson, Jake SH St. Albert 1 Sexton, Simon SH Loughborough (UK) – Bowd, Gradyn FH UVic Vikes 4 McQueen, Adam FH Calgary Hornets – Blevins, Nick CE Calgary Hornets 32 LeSage, Ben CE UBC Thunderbirds – Samson, Mozac CE Calgary Saints 2 van der Merwe, DTH CE/WI Scarlets (UK) 39 Hassler, Jeff WI Ospreys (UK) 17 Maguire, Duncan WI/FB St. Albert 3 Turner, Graham WI Calgary Hornets – Ferguson, Sean FB UBCOB Ravens –

BLUES

Of course then there is the Blues. Included are 18 full internationals and only one player – Riley DiNardo – who isn’t either capped or a u20 graduate, and then again he’s just captained the Maple Leafs 7s development side, so he’s not half bad. With all their top overseas players included they are likely the team to beat.

All 30 players hail from Ontario, and the team will be based out of Toronto, the centre of the universe. BMO Field is a perfect spot for their home games, and one that will become even more of a fortress for Canadian rugby in our billionaire-backed fantasyland.

It’s truly first-world problems here as there is a plethora of talent to choose from, not least in the back row where four high quality no8s are present. Aaron Carpenter’s career has been revived since leaving hooker behind in England, so he gets the first crack at the shirt and also takes the heavy burden of the captaincy as the most experienced player in the squad.

Of course, that begs the question of what to do with incumbent Canadian skipper Tyler Ardron? He’s struggled with injury in recent times so it’s probably best to just let him play for now. He’s an option on the blindside as well, but it’s likely lock where he starts the big games on this team. It’s not an alien position for Ardron, he’s played there with the Blues before and often fills the role with the Ospreys.

That leaves room for ARC duo Lucas Rumball and Alistair Clark to continue their partnership on the flank, though Seb Pearson and Matt Mullins are by no means out of the running for a first choice position. Brett Beukeboom and Paul Ciulini beef up the second row, and the front row has depth at every position. In Tom Dolezel’s absence we’ve flown in Jacob Rumball from Hong Kong to cover both prop jerseys.

Halfback is one area of weakness in terms of experience, with Andrew Ferguson and Liam Underwood the clear and obvious first choice duo. Unless we can coax Jamie Mackenzie out of self-imposed retirement, it’s up the youngsters to step in and do a job when needed. Outside them it looks more promising, particularly with Taylor Paris back in blue to wreak havoc down the left wing.

Of course there are good players left out. Mike Sheppard, Kainoa Lloyd, a heap of u20s like Trent Cooper and Conor Keys just to name a few. Maybe there’s room for reserve grade fixtures?

NAME POS CLUB CAPS Brouwer, Rob PR Lindsay 2 Rumball, Jacob PR HKFC (HK) – Sears-Duru, Djustice PR Oakville Crusaders 16 Tierney, Matt PR Pau (FR) – Wooldridge, Doug PR Clermont Auvergne (FR) 23 Barkwill, Ray HO Castaway Wanderers 30 Blaikie, Brendan HO/PR Markham Irish – Howard, Eric HO Brantford Harlequins 2 Ardron, Tyler LO/N8 Ospreys (UK) 22 Beukeboom, Brett LO Cornish Pirates (UK) 18 Ciulini, Paul LO Aurora Barbarians 4 Wadden, Adrian LO/FL Oakville Crusaders – Clark, Alistair FL Bay Street 4 Pearson, Seb FL/N8 London St. George’s – Rumball, Lucas FL Balmy Beach 4 Carpenter, Aaron N8 Cornish Pirates (UK) 71 Mullins, Matt N8/FL Belleville Bulldogs – Brombal, Owen SH/FH James Bay – DiNardo, Riley SH Toronto Saracens – Ferguson, Andrew SH Oakville Crusaders 3 Richardson, Mitch FH Stoney Creek – Underwood, Liam FH Balmy Beach 11 Mackenzie, Phil CE Sale Sharks (UK) 32 Santilli, Mitch CE Brantford Harlequins – Wilson-Ross, Jordan CE James Bay 3 Moor, Dan WI Balmy Beach 4 Paris, Taylor WI Agen (FR) 13 Webster, Jake WI Lindsay – Coe, Andrew FB UBC Thunderbirds – West, Jon FB Markham Irish –

ROCK

Last but not least are the East Coasters. The have-not of have-nots. While there are some excellent home-grown players available, particularly in the forwards, the depth just isn’t quite sufficient to put together a full roster, but that’s ok. Thankfully there are several Irish players eligible for Canada, and as we know Ireland is basically just a chunk of Newfoundland we’ve shipped to Europe, so our Irish-Canadian contingent should feel right at home.

Of course we do have to address that sticky subject of where the team should play. While the team has painted itself into a corner somewhat by calling itself ‘the Rock,’ we won’t let that get in the way of progress. As truly unique – and daunting – as the trip to St. John’s is, it’s a commercial non-starter because of population and accessibility.

The simple truth is that for this team to be viable it has to move to Halifax. A great crowd turned out to support Canada when they hosted Glasgow in August. The issue, of course, is that there’s nowhere to play. Since the city counselors continue to drag their heels on the issue, our mythical sugar-daddy once again steps in to save the day, putting up temporary seating at Huskies Stadium while he contemplates constructing a proper venue on whatever land he can pry away from the clutches of the bureaucrats.

Politics aside, our team pulls in players from all across Eastern Canada. Quebec, New Brunswick, Nova Scotia, Newfoundland, and even PEI all contribute. Ciaran Hearn captains with Jebb Sinclair leading the pack, and there are seasoned pros in Jon Phelan and Benoît Pifféro to help the forwards. We’ve even coaxed Chauncey O’Toole into taking a short sabbatical from fighting fires just to give it one more go in our historic venture.

The Irish connection donates Paddy Finlay, Dan Joyce, Shane O’Leary, and Jack Fitzpatrick, all of whom are Canada u20 grads. Chris Taylor played for Ireland at u20 level and is currently in BC. His accent fits best out East, so he’s brought in to bolster the front row. Former Zimbabwe u19 prop Tapiwa ‘Taps’ Rabwi is a permanent resident in Halifax and qualifies for Canada via residency, and promising centre Sam Hayward joins the team from Australia. At 6’5” he’s also an option at fullback.

Another interesting pair are the Blanchet brothers. Born in Montreal, they have both represented Canada at u17 level and are now professional players in England with Bedford Blues. While flanker Justin remains Canadian-eligible, winger Sam has played for England 7s. That means he’ll have to wait until December 2017 to qualify again through the Olympic loophole. Not a worry, he’s only 23 so we’ll make our one and only eligibility exception.

Overall it’s a relatively inexperienced group, but there’s enough quality there to be competitive at least in the run-on side. Kyle Baillie, Mike Hamson, and Brett Johnson debuted in the ARC and Pat Parfrey was a late call-up to the World Cup. While it’s true that some players in other provinces might well have been called in to make up the numbers, we’ve instead opted for local talent with an eye firmly to the future.

NAME POS CLUB CAPS Aylward, Justin PR Baymen – Rabwi, Tapiwa PR Halifax Tars – Rogers, Bob PR Dogs – Taylor, Chris PR UBC Thunderbirds – Worden, Bryce PR Burnaby Lake – Finlay, Paddy HO Trinity College (IR) – Parfrey, Owen HO Swilers – Pifféro, Benoît HO Castanet (FR) 10 Baillie, Kyle LO/FL Halifax Tars 3 Phelan, Jon LO Doncaster Knights (UK) 23 Sinclair, Jebb LO/N8 London Irish (UK) 42 Thomas, Nate LO Castaway Wanderers – Blanchet, Justin FL Bedford Blues (UK) – Hamson, Mike FL/N8 Halifax Tars 2 Heaton, Matt FL Otley (UK) – O’Toole, Chauncey FL Belleisle 21 Coughlan, Zac N8 Swilers – Hill, Weston SH Ste-Anne-de-Bellevue – Joyce, Dan SH Trinity College (IR) – Pomroy, Tony SH Baymen – O’Leary, Shane FH Connacht (IR) – Parfrey, Patrick FH/CE Swilers 11 DeBove, Charles CE Ste-Anne-de-Bellevue – Hayward, Sam CE Parramatta (AU) – Hearn, Ciaran CE London Irish (UK) 49 Sehic, Emil CE/WI Fredericton Loyalists – Blanchet, Sam WI Bedford Blues (UK) – Johnson, Brett WI/FB Truro Saints 2 McNicholas, Paddy WI/FB Swilers – Fitzpatrick, Jack FB Trinity College (IR) –

CONCLUSION

While it’s fair to suggest that top league professionals on substantial contracts like Ardron or Paris are unlikely to commit in a real-world scenario, there is a real chance that, given the choice, second tier professionals might choose to stay in Canada rather than accept a less-lucrative offer to play in the RFU Championship. Similarly it could be an attractive option for older internationals approaching the end of their professional careers.

Looking at that, things aren’t so bad. It’s safe to say these fictitious teams compare favorably – or at least on par – with any of the PRO franchises currently under construction. It’s important to note that none of the above teams have drawn on ‘big name’ overseas players, the overwhelming majority are products of the Canadian system. What it suggests is that professional rugby, from a manpower perspective, is indeed viable in Canada and given the right financial backing could prove a very valuable and entertaining component of a North American professional league.