Twas the night before the night before the night before the night before christmas. (Although it may have been afternoon...it's been a while since the sun has been spotted here in Minnesota.) When all through the house, there was way to much noise, for the mailman was banging and knocking and ringing the bell. I stumbled down the stairs, looking for pants, when I landed on my doorstep to see what was the matter! Lo and behold, it was a box, decorated in such a manner I squee'd with delight. Waving to the postal worker, and shouting my cheer, I was awarded with a side-eye, and some sort of leer.

Pleased with my prize I tromped back up the stairs, and sat down to gaze at what had arrived! "What could it be?" I asked myself. "It could be anything", I pondered and wondered.

"Just open the damn box." Said a voice, not too far from my ear. So I glanced to my left, and I glanced to my right, and realized my scissors where nowhere in sight!

Once more I arose, and started to wander, hoping that somewhere close by I would find what I was after.

Moments went by, and success was had! So I trudged back to the box to retrieve my surprise!

And oh, what a surprise it was! A collection of goodies, from a magical land on the other side of the globe! Once more I squeed, and chortled with glee! There's a person who sent me some wonderful things! A variety of wrapped shapes and colors greeted my eyes, as well as a card and some personal notes!

I smiled and cheered, for here was a dear! Someone who thought and thought and thought, and thought the gifts through!

"Which one to open?" I wondered aloud. "This one looks neat," I said to my cat, "It's heavy and round!" My heart raced, as I pried off the paper! "Behold" I cried, "It is Vegemite! And it came with instructions." I had heard of the magical elixir from the land of Oz, and wondered what miracles consuming it would hold!

I moved on to the next box shaped gift, and curiously guess as to what may be in side. Moments past, and seeing no spiders crawl, I jumped right in and opened it all! "A tiny model of our great past space shuttle!" This will look great next to my tiny Drop Bear!

As I pondered my latest gift, the cats started to chatter. They seemed to be interested in one of the gifts. Moving them aside, to cries and mews, I opened it up, and to all our surprise, it was a gift of the force, to share one and alike! I quickly grabbed the closet cat, and lo, she became quite old and quite fat!

Two gifts to go, and I started to twitter! "What could be next?" I pondered some more, "Glue, gum or Glitter?" Wasting no time, I grabbed and I pulled, and soon enough the truth was revealed! A magical sauce, known as Barbecue, made by some wizard named Masterfoods! Oh for joy, for delight, I will be putting this sauce on everything I like!

We were down to the wire, just one more to go! I didn't know what more would become...I waited a moment, to calm myself down, then jumped in and found an amazing device! It was covered in warnings, that was plain to see, but it apparently is useful for delivering spirits to me! I quickly ran out, and found my favorite, and commenced to testing this new device. In a matter of moments, success was found, tho' I, however, soon-thereafter hit the ground!

I arose in a stumble, happy with cheer, and send out this note, to one kind Santa.

"Thank you!", I cried, "Thank you, twice more!"