We have detailed demographic information about our readers, so one thing we know is that most of you reading this have fairly obscene and borderline illegal sex on an almost weekly basis. But no matter how nasty you like to get in your leather-studded Bone Chamber, there are multiple species of the animal kingdom who still put you to shame.

6 The "Taking One for the Team" Beetle

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Picture this:

You're a guy, and you meet a cute girl at a bar, only to find that she has an asshole boyfriend with her. You can't compete with that guy. Unless...

You come up with a plan. You leave and put on a wig, a miniskirt and smear on some makeup. You come back, looking 100% woman, in a dark room, anyway. You wait until the girl slips off to the ladies' room. But you don't approach her; you approach her man.

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"Hey big boy," you huskily whisper to the douche boyfriend, "how about we go to the alley out back and I'll show you I'm all woman. And not a dude in a wig."



Also known as the "Bugs Bunny Stratagem"

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So you lead the Kevin Federline wannabe out behind the dumpster, and allow him to make passionate love to you until he is exhausted from the effort. He's spent, and now the girl is yours!

This is how every date goes if you are a gamma male stag beetle. The alphas, with their big, scary pincers, protect the females and fight for the right to mate. The less masculine gamma beetles don't have a chance, so they use pheromones to convince the alphas that they're ladies. Then they seduce them.