Photo credit from the blog Better Than Surviving

So is one of your New Year’s resolutions to go topless on a beach? Or are you thinking of adding skinny dipping to your bucket list? How about taking a nude vacation aka nakation? There is no better time than 2016 to see what visiting a nude beach or resort really feels like. It’s not what you expect.

My wife and I have been writing this blog for more than two years now. We’ve detailed our experiences visiting nude and clothing optional resorts, B&B, beaches and clubs all over the U.S., Mexico, South Pacific and Caribbean. Our time naked on vacation is some of the best quality time we have together. It’s fun. It’s relaxing. It’s great we time. It’s very romantic but not in a sexual way. I’ll explain more later. And our blog is here to help and encourage other couples to give it a try.

I was reviewing the search terms people use to find our blog over the past year and a lot of them are related to what to expect at a nude beach or resort and about convincing wives and girlfriends to give it a try….

How do I convince my wife to try a nude beach?

How do we try a nude beach?

Wife worried about sunbathing topless

What are nude beaches/resorts like for women?

Going back 20 years ago, my wife (then girlfriend) had the same apprehensions about going to a nude beach. She liked the idea of being naked outside with me, but was concerned about the people we would meet and other women and men viewing and rating her body.

From what I’ve seen and heard from my own wife over the years, these are all honest questions and concerns. To someone who hasn’t been topless or nude on a beach, the thought of being completely naked and exposed and happy and comfortable seems impossible. It’s really not.

For any husband or boyfriend who would like to visit a nude beach or resort with their spouse, here is some advice from my wife and me. The key is to ensure it’s a safe and relaxing place so she (and you) can become comfortable with your nakedness. Here are our tips:

Talk. Have an open and honest discussion about sunbathing nude, going topless or skinny dipping. Why do you want to do it and what’s to be gained by doing it? We have found it’s a wonderful shared experience. It’s a thrill like the first time you hold hands or kiss.

Never surprise your wife with a trip to a nude beach or resort without discussing it first. Chances are she’ll say she likes the thought of being naked with you, it’s just the other people at the beach or resort who will see her that she is uncomfortable with. That’s an honest concern and until you’ve tried it, you don’t realize that it’s really not about other people. It’s about being comfortable in your own skin. So how do you do that? Here is a blog we wrote on the talk before you drop your swimsuit.

Have a Plan. Maybe a trip to a nude resort isn’t the best first step. Perhaps a better solution is going to a resort that allows topless sunbathing or has a nude beach. Or go to a clothing optional beach and bare as much as you want until you’re comfortable with taking your bathing suit off. For example, the Couples Resorts in Jamaica all offer sections where women can sunbath topless or couples can be nude for swimming or sunbathing. Or go to a nude beach like Haulover in Miami or Black’s Beach in San Diego. These are recognized nude beaches, patrolled by police with lifeguards and volunteers to ensure a fun and safe environment.

Take Your Time. This is probably the most important piece of advice my wife shared . If you’re at a resort that offers a nude or topless section, find a spot where you have space and can be comfortable together. Don’t worry about anyone else. Just concentrate on one another. It should be romantic time for the two of you.

If you’re at a nude public beach, it’s best not to stray too far away from everyone. Better yet, look for other couples and set up 10-15 yards from them. Before long you’ll have your own safe space and then do what you’d normally do. Set up your towel or beach chairs. Put up the umbrella. Get out your tanning lotion and sun glasses. The key here is to be comfortable in your space by the beach or pool.

Ease into Being Naked. If you’re at a resort and want to try going topless, take off your bikini top and put on suntan lotion. It will feel odd and a little scary at first. If you’re feeling too anxious, then turn over on to your stomach and give yourself time to get comfortable. Don’t worry about who is watching. From our experience, the only time anyone ever really notices you on a nude beach is when you’re still wearing clothing. Chances are no one is watching at all. Once you’re naked, you really just blend in. From our experience, if you’re at the nude section of the resort the best thing to do is not to think about it. Drop your bathing suit, lie down on your chair or towel and relax. Again, lay on your stomach if you’re too nervous (we’ve all seen butts before, right?). If you’re at a nude beach, take off your bathing suit as you choose to do it.

Here is the Key: Get Comfortable in Your Own Skin. From our experience of watching couples do this countless times, one of two things happens next. She or he can’t get comfortable. They try to but it’s obvious that they aren’t enjoying this experience at all. It’s anything but romantic. They usually last for an hour or less and then put on their swim suits and leave. There is nothing wrong with this. Nude recreation isn’t for everyone. That’s okay. Not everyone likes football or baseball either. You gave it a shot.

The other option is that the two of you have fun. You get comfortable with being naked outside together. You feel the warmth of the sun. You decide to jump in the pool or go skinny dipping in the ocean. Or go for a walk on the beach. It goes from being an odd foreign experience to one that is empowering, liberating, FUN and very romantic. Often a transformation takes place. While the initial thought of being naked outside where other people could see you caused a lot of stress and anxiety, after the first day you’ll find yourself wanting to get to the beach or pool sooner and to stay longer because it’s such a wonderful feeling of openness and togetherness. There is a thrill because you’re enjoying it together.

It’s at this point that you’ll see it’s not a sexual experience. I’d be lying to you if I told you that seeing my wife laying out on the beach or walking around the pool naked isn’t a turn on to me. It is but not physically. It’s mental. To me, she is still the most beautiful woman in the world and seeing her like this only adds to her beauty. The resorts and beaches I mentioned all have strict policies against public sexual touching and intimacy. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen but there are rules and people who will enforce it if they see it. From our experience, this shouldn’t be one of your concerns.

Often times it takes a few times to get comfortable. A couple we met on a nude beach in Hawaii told us they had been going to nude beaches for years but she would only go topless and only if no one else was nearby. Finally she decided that her husband looked great naked and she wanted to join him. When we were in St. Martin last year, a couple sat down next to us on Orient Beach. They had gotten off a cruise ship and it was obvious they had a plan. He immediately striped while she took more time to get comfortable. When she pulled off her sarong, she was wearing one of the smallest thong bikinis I had ever seen. She spent the day wearing her thong bikini while her husband was nude. They had a blast. She was comfortable and they had fun together. Even my wife still will wear a towel around her waist when we first arrive at a resort. She doesn’t mind going topless but wear it to cover up when she goes to the beach bar or back to our room. Usually by the end of the day, she has dropped the towel and is now comfortable walking around the beach or pool nude.

I don’t envy my wife or other women. The stigma tied to body shape and how a “good” girl is supposed to act in public is overwhelming. Perhaps the most upsetting emails I’ve received are from women who believe they are too fat or their breasts are too small or they’re not pretty enough to spend time on a nude beach. I’m very sorry for them. It shouldn’t be like this. These are powerful mental roadblocks that some women will never overcome.

So support your wife and respect her. By making this a shared experience and by concentrating on her and letting her decide what to do next, we believe the two of you will discover that being naked together outside is one of the most enriching and thrilling experiences you can have together. And it doesn’t matter if you’ve been together six months or 50 years, my wife and I still get excited when we first take off our bathing suits and relax together on a warm, sunny beach.

Here is a blog post that a couple sent to me after reading our blog. Note that they went to the Hedonism Resort in Jamaica which does allow public sexual contact. My wife and I would never go there because that’s not our idea of fun, but that’s us.

I’ve shared our thoughts and experiences. I’d like to hear yours. Especially if you’re a woman who enjoys nude recreation and travel or are still considering it. Great post