Not Feeling Like Myself

I was sitting in my sixth period study hall when it happened. I had this sudden, stabbing pain behind my left eye. It was so bad that I had to close my eyes and tilt my head to one side, while my fingers tried to crush the wood of the desk in front of me. “Hanna, are you alright?” My friend Joy asked me as I reeled from the pain assailing my head. And then, as suddenly as the pain had come, it was gone. “I’m fine.” My voice said. But I didn’t say it! My mouth had opened and spoke the words, but I hadn’t thought them. And if that wasn’t strange enough, I found myself stretching my hands out in front of me as if I were examining them. I tried to just lay them down on the desk, but my hands moved as if on their own, coming up to touch my face. It was like I was feeling the shape of my own face. Joy still looked at me with obvious concern. “Are you sure Hanna?” She asked me. Suddenly my hands were my own, and I felt normal once more. “Uh...yeah. I’m okay Joy. I’ve just got the worst headache.” I lied. I glanced around the room to see if anyone else had noticed my strange behavior, and two rows up from me and about a dozen seats down the aisle a pretty dark-haired girl smiled at me. I recognized her, her name was Monica Orbis and she was probably the most popular girl in the school. She held my gaze for a pregnant moment before looking away from me. Nobody else seemed to have even noticed my little incident. I turned back to Joy, who seemed to have already forgotten about my strange behavior. “So, did you see what Jenny Norton is wearing today?” She asked me and I feigned interest as I thought about what had just happened.

* * *

By the time I was almost ready to turn in, I’d almost convinced myself I’d imagined the whole study hall thing. And then it happened again. Reading in bed, I dropped the book I was holding as that same stabbing pain struck me again. It was in the same exact spot, right behind my eye. When the pain ceased, I found my body moving around on its own again. I climbed out of bed and stood in front of my mirror, helpless to fight whatever invisible force held me in its sway. “This is awesome.” I told no one, or at least my voice said the words. My body still refusing to obey me, I twisted and turned, this way and that, admiring myself in the mirror. My hands ran over my breasts and slid down around my hips. And then I watched, shocked, as I slid a hand into my panties and caressed myself there. I stood like some sort of pervert, watching myself masturbate for a few moments before I started looking around the room. I walked around, one hand still in my panties, moving and touching my things. I stopped at my dresser by the door, and examined the banana I’d left there. It had been in my lunch that day, and I hadn’t eaten it. Now I picked it up from where I’d left it and caressed it stupidly. I reached down with one hand and hooked a thumb in my panties. I slid them off, a little clumsily, and tossed them aside as I walked back over to my full-length mirror. Watching myself in the mirror, it was more like watching a movie of me than actually being there. It wasn’t me that was doing these things. As hard as I tried I couldn’t stop myself. I watched in horror as my hands guided the yellow fruit I held down to my crotch. Whatever controlled me rubbed the fruit along my opening, actually pressing the tip of it between my lips with each stroke. I watched as my mirror image squatted slightly and began to insert the banana into my vagina! The fruit pushed me open as I forced it deeper into my sex, until only an inch of it remained exposed. My hands on my hips, I actually started to giggle as I stood there looking at the mirror. My giggling slowed until my mirror image just smiled at the sight I made. I watched the smile fade as I was suddenly myself again. With a start I looked around, but my door was closed and nobody had seen a thing. Tears came to my eyes as I extricated the fruit from my privates. That was disgusting, I’d never done anything like that before. What was wrong with me? Why was this happening? I threw on some clothes to cover myself up and I sat sobbing on my bed for a long time. Although there had never been anyone in the room but me, I felt as violated as if I’d been raped. Something was horribly wrong. But who could I tell about this? I found myself worrying that I might be going insane. But I didn’t feel insane. Would I know I was nuts if I was nuts? It was a long time before sleep came to me.

* * *

By the time lunch rolled around the next day, I was sure I was insane. There was no other rational explanation. I was nuts. That is, that’s what I thought until Monica stopped by. “Hanna, I brought this today and I just don’t feel like having it. Do you want it?” Monica said with an evil smile, as she held out a banana to me. I recoiled as if she was holding a poisonous snake. The sight of her smile combined with the bright yellow arc of fruit in her hand propelled me to my feet. I had backed away several steps before I realized how bizarre I must look. I was too flabbergasted to speak. She knew about the night before. How could she know? “Hanna, what’s wrong?” Joy asked. “Yeah Hanna, what’s up with you? I just offered you my banana. It’s not a bomb or anything.” She said, but the playful tone in her voice said it all to me. She knew and she was telling me. She tossed the banana on the table and sauntered away, and I was still too disturbed to speak. I slowly sank back to my seat and stared at the offending fruit while my mind raced. Joy was saying something but it was like background noise I couldn’t make out. “Hello! Earth to Hanna, come in Hanna.” Joy was saying to me. I looked up and she continued. “You know, I think that’s the first time she’s ever been nice to anyone I know. No wonder you’re freaked out. Relax. She may be screwing the whole football team but you’re going to be valedictorian.” Joy was telling me. “Uh huh.” I muttered. “Hanna, are you sure you’re okay? You’ve been acting a little weird lately.” “Actually, I uh...I don’t feel so well. I think I’m going to go see the nurse.” I told her as I hastily got up and gathered my things. As I cleared my tray I couldn’t help but see Monica Orbis smiling at me from across the cafeteria. I turned away from her and hurried out of the cafeteria and headed for the nurses office. I told the nurse that I had a headache and was nauseous and soon I was waiting for my mother to come pick me up. Thank goodness she was off work, otherwise the school wouldn’t have let me go. I spent the next twenty minutes lying on a couch in the nurse’s office and thinking about my situation. Either I was really crazy or Monica knew what I had done last night. But how could she know? I sat thinking about everything I knew about her. Monica was the most popular girl in school for all the usual reasons. She was gorgeous, outgoing, and a talented athlete as well. It only made me hate her that much more that she was smart, too. I’d busted my butt all through high-school to keep my perfect straight A record, while she’d breezed through school casually and was second in our class. If she hadn’t had a couple of early B’s she’d have a perfect grade point average too. And like every hot-looking smart chick I’ve ever met, she was a really arrogant and stuck up. She made fun of everybody who wasn’t in the in-crowd, especially me and my group of geek friends. But what on earth could she have to do with my problem? The more I thought about it, either she had something to do with my nocturnal fruit activity or I was so insane that it just seemed that way. My mother showed up and I feigned illness with her as well. Riding home in silence I thought more and more about Monica somehow doing this to me. I’d had tons of classes together with her, but I’d never really interacted with her much. Even if she could do this to me, why would she? At home I enjoyed the pretend-illness safety of bedroom until late afternoon. That’s when the pain came again, in the same spot. Suddenly my body was not my own, and I knew somehow right then that it was her. Monica. I got up off of my bed went to my dresser. Choosing a tube of red lipstick that I never really wore because I thought it was too bright, I uncapped it and stood in front of the mirror. Under her control, I painted my whole nose red with the lipstick. Then I smeared it all around my mouth and stepped back to study my handiwork. I looked like some sort of clown, it was awful. And then as quickly as she’d come to me, she was gone again. I looked at myself in the mirror again, unbelieving that I could actually be standing there with the lipstick in my hand. How was she doing this to me? Peeking out of my room, I made sure no one was around and then I crept quietly to the bathroom. Safely inside, the tears started to fall down silly looking clown face. What was happening to me? How was it possible for her to do this to me? It took about five minutes before I was calm enough to start cleaning off the lipstick. It was a real pain to get off, and I was almost done when it happened again. I felt that pain stabbing behind my eye, and then she was there again. In me. I looked around the bathroom under her control, and then moved in front of the toilet. I lifted the lid and kneeled down in front of its white bowl. Watching myself in horror, my body refused to obey me as I leaned forward and lowered my head into the toilet bowl. I began lapping up toilet water, like a dog would do, and then she was gone again. I gagged and rose quickly up away from the toilet bowl. I rinsed with mouthwash and spat it out three times before I felt anything like clean again. It my sound stupid, but after she’d made me play with the lipstick I’d felt kind of safe. But now I knew she could come whenever she wanted. And every time she came it was horrible for me. I was sure it was Monica, but why was she doing this to me? I cleaned myself up, but I couldn’t wash away the horrible feeling of violation that I now felt stronger than ever. Back in my room I cried and cried. What was I going to do? Staying home from school wasn’t helping any. I had to talk to her. Tomorrow I’d seek her out an then maybe I’d find a way to understand what was happening to me.

* * *

The next morning, after assuring my parents I was fine, I headed to school like usual. I dreaded the thought of seeing Monica, but I couldn’t think of anything else that could help. I had three periods with her every day, study hall, last period gym, and we had the same lunch as well. At some point I had to find a way to ask her to meet me someplace after school or something. My first chance came at lunch, but I just couldn’t do it. It was insane. I was insane. Could I really go ask Ms. Popular to please stop borrowing my body? Lunch was almost over, and I still hadn’t gotten up the nerve to go talk to her. I gathered my courage and finally rose from my seat. Maybe she’d tell me something, maybe she wouldn’t. But I had to try. I was close enough to get their attention, and about to speak, when it happened. Monica closed her eyes, and the pain hit me right then. “I love you Monica!” I blurted out under her power, and then she was gone. She opened her eyes and I saw a tiny smirk of satisfaction on her face before she reacted in pretend-horror. Nobody had even noticed her closing her eyes to concentrate on what she was doing to me. “Eww. You’re disgusting Hanna. You might be a lesbo, but I’m not.” She laughed, and it was then that I realized the entire cafeteria wasn’t just staring at me, but laughing too. I just wanted to die, standing there with them all laughing at me while Monica just regarded me with a nasty smile. I couldn’t possibly face her. My face flushed scarlet as I tried to ignore the laughter until lunch finally ended a minute later.

* * *

I thought through it over and over again as I rested my head on my hands in study hall. Part of me was just waiting for the tell-tale pain that would signal Monica’s next invasion. She was sitting only twenty feet away, and she gave me that same smile every time I looked up at her. I was really, really screwed. I wasn’t insane, and Monica seemed to want to ruin my life for some reason. I just waited there in my seat, resigned to the fact that she was going to make me do something stupid whenever she next got the urge. I was surprised to get out of study hall without another incident, but far from relieved. I had last period gym with Monica still to go, and god only knew what she’d do in that fertile environment for humiliating me. I got dressed for gym in the locker room, oblivious to the constant jeers of my classmates about what I’d done in the cafeteria. I was in shock, and more sure than ever that I was in for something horrible soon. And there was nothing I could do about it. I couldn’t tell anybody what she was doing, who’d believe me? And besides, it was becoming pretty obvious to me that she could do whatever she wanted with me, and I was helpless to stop her. As I stumbled out onto the field and awaited my fate, I decided that she was clever to wait for gym period to humiliate me further. I hated gym, and was routinely humiliated without any mind-control affecting me. I sucked at sports, and everyone knew it. And I especially hated showering in the locker room, which is why I’d worked so hard to get last period gym. With gym as my last class I could just go home and shower there. So, all things considered, I was amazed when gym class ended and we all filed back into the locker room without incident. Monica headed for the showers with her friends and I couldn’t believe I’d gotten through the rest of the day without incident. I rushed to grab my things and get out of there while Monica was busy in the shower. And then, just as I was getting ready to get out of there, I felt the pain stabbing into my mind again as she came to me. Helpless once more, I stood up and walked past the girls around me to the isle. Moving a couple of rows down I walked down a different isle between the banks of lockers. There was gym clothing all over, on the floor and some on the long bench that ran down the middle of the aisle. I went directly to one pile of clothing on the bench and removed a pair of sweat-sodden white panties. I knew, even as I watched my horrible fate unfolding, that the panties I held must be Monica’s. As my left hand held the sweaty bit cotton to my face and I took my first deep breaths of its repulsive aroma, my right hand slid into my panties! I was desperately trying to fight Monica’s evil power, but no matter how much I willed my body to put down her underwear it was useless. I found myself kneeling down by the bench as I intensified my stroking. “Oh my god!” Came the first titter, as a girl saw me standing there like that. But that wasn’t enough for Monica, I continued to masturbate and sniff the panties I held to my face as more girls came see the disturbance. Several more looked around corners and in moments there was a small crowd watching me do this perverted thing. I was dying inside, and it only got worse when I heard someone exclaim to another “Hanna Mitchell is sniffing Monica Orbis’s panties!” The knowledge that it was the smell of her sweaty underparts made it a thousand times the nightmare it already was. And then, as the tears came to me, I found myself back to normal. I through down her panties and pulled my hand from shorts. Trying to avoid meeting any of the watching pairs of eyes I fled back to my locker where I made no effort to stop my sobbing as I quickly dressed myself. I knew that every girl in the locker room was talking about me just then, their voices magnifying in my head until it was as cacophonous as standing near a huge waterfall. The giggling exchanges, the repeated use of the word “lesbian” and the way everyone stared at me left me no doubt that my life was over. As I ran sobbing from the locker room I saw Monica herself standing by her aisle, covered only in towel wrapped round her middle, as she acted shocked at what the group of girls gathered there told her. I made it down the halls to my locker and I grabbed my stuff before heading home. Everyone looked concerned to see a girl openly sobbing in the hallway, but I turned away all their attempts to find out what was wrong with me. They’d all know soon enough and I didn’t want to be there when they found out.

* * *

It was early afternoon on Saturday when I had my next episode. I was studying in my bedroom, for my coming mid-terms, when I felt the pain again. This time the pain wasn’t as bad, but the effect was just the same. As I got up off of my bed I was under her control again. I searched around for my little black purse, dug around in it to make sure my car keys were there, and then headed downstairs. I made it out the door without anyone asking me where I was going, and moments later I watched as she made me start my car and back it out of the driveway. I (she) drove quickly and surely, and fifteen minutes later I was in a beautiful neighborhood I’d never visited before. As I pulled the car up in front of a huge house, I realized that Monica’s parents must be pretty well off. I walked up to the door of the house and noticed the name on the mailbox was “Orbis”. I didn’t even knock or ring the doorbell, I just opened the door and went inside. As if in a hurry, I rushed through the foyer and down the hallway. The beautiful interior of the house flew by in a rush as I found a door to a stairway and rushed down the stairs. And found Monica sitting with her eyes closed on a recliner in the well finished basement. She seemed completely engrossed in her work, her arms clenching the chair tight as she made me do these things. I grabbed up something metal off the table and fumbled with it hurriedly. It was a pair of handcuffs and as Monica made me lock one around my right wrist I noticed that she was sweating and breathing heavily in her chair. I put my hands behind my back and locked the other cuff around my left wrist. I knelt down in front of her, giving the handcuffs a quick tugging-at to make sure they were secured. And then suddenly I was myself again, kneeling handcuffed in front of Monica in the basement of her house. At the moment I was free again her stiff posture went limp and she let out a huge sigh. It looked like it was a lot of work for her to control me. “Look who’s dropped in.” She told me with a smile. I quickly started to get up, but she quickly hopped up out of her chair and pushed me back down. She was bigger and stronger than I was, and with my hands trapped behind me I was truly helpless. “Whoa there. You’re not going anywhere. Why don’t you just lay down.” She suggested playfully as she forced me down onto my back. I had to twist and wiggle my legs to get them unfolded, but soon she was kneeling over me as I lay on my back. She sat down on my chest, mashing my breasts painfully under her butt. “That ought to keep you from trying to run off while I talk to you.” “Monica, let me up. Why are you doing this to me? How are you doing this to me? Please get off of me.” I plead with her as she made herself comfortable in front of me. She was wearing a short wrap-around skirt, and a tight little top that showed off her bulging breasts and exposed part of her flat stomach. As she adjusted her weight on me I struggled to move before realizing that I was hopelessly pinned. She could hold me there for as long as she wanted. “Let’s talk about how first. I have no idea. Honestly. I was sitting in study hall day-dreaming, wondering what it was like to be a pathetic little goody-goody like you. And then suddenly, I was you. I was out of my body, and I was in yours.” She told me. “This, this doesn’t make any sense. You can’t just take over other people’s bodies, it’s impossible.” “You’re right, I can’t just take over other people’s bodies. I can only do it to you. I wish it worked on someone else. God knows I’ve tried. I don’t know how, or why, but I can make you do anything I want.” She said with that nasty grin. “This isn’t happening. This is impossible.” “I couldn’t believe it either. But it’s true. I can just close my eyes and take over your body. Even when you’re miles away from me. You know I can. Remember the locker room?” Her mere mention of the incident made me want to cry. “I, I don’t understand. The gym, why did you do that to me in the locker room?” “Ha ha. That was hilarious. You have to admit, that was pretty creative.” “Monica, that wasn’t creative—it was awful! Why do you hate me so much?” “Hate you? You’re not important enough for me to hate. I’m just having fun. There’s only two useful things I can think to make you do for me, other than that all this is good for is entertainment.” She was so arrogant. I hated her with every fiber of my being. I knew then that she wasn’t just a bitch. Monica was truly evil. “What are you going to do to me?” “Like I said, the way I see it there’s just two useful things you can do for me. You don’t have anything I need. You can’t get me any more money than I already have. But you can help me graduate first in our class. I should say, you will help me be first in our class. I’m going to drop in and help you with your exams next week—if you know what I mean.” She laughed. She was going to make me fail my tests? Even in the horrible situation I was in the thought of getting bad grades soured my stomach. “This—this won’t work! You won’t get away with this!” I shouted at her as I began to cry. “Oh, poor baby. Time to cry. Get over it. I will get away with it, think about it. What are you going to do, tell someone that I can control your mind? Anybody you tell will think you’re insane. I can do whatever I want to you. And it’s getting easier every time. The headaches I get from controlling you are getting less violent, and I’m able to control you for longer each time. So it’s only going to get worse.” She was right, I couldn’t tell anyone. She had headaches too? That must be why she’d looked so tense when she was making me come over here, it must have been near the end of her ability to keep me under her control. As I sobbed, Monica reached down to her waist and unwrapped her skirt from around her waist. As it came open in front of me I realized that she had no underwear on under it! She was sitting on my chest half-naked now, her hairy pubic mound distressingly close to my face. “What—what are you doing?” “Now you’re going to do that second thing for me. You’re going to lick my pussy.” She gloated down at me. “No, please Monica. Please don’t make me do that!” I sobbed. “Well, I’m not going to take control of you and make you do it, if that’s what you mean. That would be like licking my own pussy. And I wouldn’t even be in my body to enjoy it! No, this is rape pure and simple. My parents will be gone for hours, and you’re helpless wearing those handcuffs. And after those embarrassing scenes at lunch and in the locker room I highly doubt anyone would believe that I had to handcuff you to make you eat my pussy. Everyone already thinks you’re a lesbo who’s in love with me. Ha ha ha.” She laughed, her satisfaction at the quality of her diabolic plot quite obvious. “Monica, please. I’ve never done anything to you. I’ll do whatever else you want. Just please don’t make me do this!” She just smiled at me, and then she scooted her butt farther up on my body. Now her soft, warm thighs pressed against the sides of my face and her crotch was right there in front of me. My sobs grew stronger as she reached down and grasped my hair. I couldn’t believe she meant to do this to me. She peered down at me with an evil smile, and looking up from between her legs I tried to see some sign of mercy in her, but there was none to be found. “No, no, no...please no.” I sobbed rapidly as she tugged my hair and pulled my face up into her crotch. “Shut up and sniff it. Sniff my pussy, get a nice deep breath of it.” She laughed as she rubbed my face in it. The awful horror I was enduring just made my crying worse, and I sobbed and blubbered against her hairy mound while she laughed above me. “Oh quit your crying. I know just how to shut you up.” Keeping her crotch in contact with my face the whole time, she smoothly moved forward and sat down on my face! Her weight crushed my head to the floor as she wiggle herself into a position she liked. I could feel the wetness of her opening on my mouth and nose as she moved to totally bury my face in her sex. I could still just barely peer up from between her thighs, my tears pooling and making my eyes sting. I couldn’t breathe at all, and she seemed quite relaxed as she smiled happily down at me. “Mmhhhmm. This feels really nice you know. Now do it. Lick my pussy Hanna.” She ordered me. I kept my clenched tightly shut, but even so I was overcome with disgust. My nose was nestled into her private parts so deeply it was like she was trying to push my whole head in there. Having your air cut off is terrifying, and as my heart pounded in my chest my lungs began to burn. “Are you getting enough air?” Monica asked me with mock sweetness. She lifted herself up slightly and with a thrust of her hips rubbed her sex across my face, leaving a moist trail from my chin to my forehead. I was able to gasp a heaving breath as she did it again, sort of humping my face with a back and forth motion. “You’re going to give in, it’s only a matter of time. Your pathetic resistance just makes this that much more fun you know.” She laughed as she positioned her wet slit over my nose and mouth again and cut off my air once more. She tortured me this way for long minutes, alternating between smothering me in her sex and using my nose as a sex-toy as she humped my face. She settled into a smooth stroking rhythm of dragging her wet slit across my nose that seemed to be gradually increasing speed. My wrists ached, my lungs burned, and it felt like my head was being crushed by her abuse. It seemed like it was never going to end. “Do it, damn it! Lick my pussy!” She shouted as she continued to ride my face. Finally, I could hold out no more. The only possible way I could see to get myself out of this was to give in and do what she wanted. I was trapped in every way, physically helpless and the menacing prospect of her mental invasion as well. I parted my lips and lifted my tongue to meet her sex as she thrust herself against me again, and she gave a little victorious grunt at my submission. “That’s it Hanna, eat my pussy. Oh that feels so good!” She exclaimed as I forced myself to give my tongue to her. I had never had sexual contact with a man, much less perform cunnilingus, and the taste of her wetness made me gag with disgust. My convulsive gagging just seem to spur her on, and she planted herself on my face so that I could still breathe while my tongue was buried in her vagina. I gradually got used to the foul flavor in my mouth as I found her clitoris and did my best to get this over with and make her climax. “That’s it, oh yes. Yes...yes...yes...oh YES!” She cried out, squirming against my probing tongue as she mashed her crotch down on my face so hard I saw stars. But it wasn’t over, she didn’t lift her wet, smothering folds from my face as I’d expected. “What do you think you’re doing? You’d better get that tongue back in my pussy or you’ll be sorry! Now suck it!” She shouted angrily. I reluctantly obeyed her, and I found that her opening was even more sloppily wet now as I returned to work at it. It took only another few moments before she was at the edge again, and this time I found myself practically drowning in her juices as she clenched my face between her thighs again and again. “Fuck...oh yes...oh fuck yes...omigod...yes...yes..yes...yesyesyesYESSSSSS!” She almost chanted as she nearly squashed my head like a grape. She sort of rocked back and forth on my face, shaking and quivering. She moved herself just a little, so that my tongue was lower down on her slit and away from her clitoris. She was letting me get some air now, and I tried to catch my breath as she seemed to be trying to catch hers as well. As my breath returned, so did my sobbing. It seemed to get Monica’s attention, and she glared down into my eyes. “You’re not done yet, you can cry later. I’m all wet down there, I can feel it. Suck it out, suck out my cunt.” She ordered, and again I was amazed at her depravity. I had no idea a woman could get so wet there, and as the taste of her coated my throat I gagged repeatedly. And then she just climbed off of my face and started to pull her skirt back on. I rolled over onto my side and lay there sobbing. “Why? Why are you doing this me?” I shrieked loudly between snotty sniffles. “Because I can. And because it’s fun too.” She assured me. I lay there sobbing at her feet as she fixed her skirt and finished tidying herself up. She looked just like she had when I walked in, not a hair out of place on her head or anything. I was so humiliated I just wanted to die right there. “Roll over. I’ll unlock you and you can go home now.” She was just going to unlock me and let me go? I rolled over and she produced a key off the table and removed the handcuffs. I immediately scurried away from her and climbed, sobbing, to my feet. “You-you’re just going to let me go now?” “Why not? Nobody would believe a word of this if you told them. And I can just bring you back here whenever I want.” She must have seen the look of despair deepening on my face, or noticed my renewed bawling, because she smiled just then. “That’s right, I’m not just going to make you fail all your exams, I’m going to make your suck my cunt whenever I feel like it too. And don’t even think about trying anything to piss me off. Because if you make me mad I might just find some way to punish you. Like maybe the next time you play with a banana, you’ll do it at lunch in the cafeteria. Or maybe I’ll have you stuff something up there while you’re at home and have you go tell your parents it’s stuck and you can’t get it out. Ha ha aha ha.” She laughed loudly at the sound of her own ideas. I knew she could do what she had just suggested, and it made my stomach do flip-flops just thinking about it. “Please, please stop this. I-I’ll do anything you want, anything. Just stop doing this to me.” I begged her. “You really don’t get, do you? I’m not your average girl. I’m an evil bitch. And, for whatever reason, god has blessed me with the power to control you. You’re fucked—get used to it. As a matter of fact, let’s start planning ahead. My parents will be at the club tomorrow afternoon again, why don’t we plan to get together here at 2:00 p.m. Drive yourself over this time, don’t make me half to come get you. And look on the bright side, there’s no need to study for your mid-terms, you’re going to fail them anyway. Now run along.”

* * *