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"Yellow" and "off," incidentally, are terms that fit very well in the masturbatory aid we are going to focus right now: The Simpsons live action porn.

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"Fiddely diddely, jerkoffino!"

These days, every single movie has a porn version. When Guardians of the Galaxy hit the cinemas, literally everyone could predict that it would get a This-Ain't-Avatar-style porn version by the time the DVD came out, and even called the fact that Groot would just be a giant wooden dick. However, the worst we can expect from those is the dread of whether they've made Rocket Raccoon a straight-up furry. The Simpsons porn is a different beast altogether.

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Hailing from the musky depths of simpler times (2011), the Simpsons Porn Parody somehow manages to be the exact opposite of the uncanny valley, yet retain the creepiness. It brings dead-eyed, soulless characters alive in a far too efficient manner, while doing its level best to keep the whole thing as cartoon-like as possible. For the dimebag production it no doubt was, its set, makeup, and costumes are uncannily Simpsonian, to the point where your brain keeps insisting that the action on the screen should give way to everyone just wandering away to protest the monorail or something.

It doesn't help that the whole movie is seen through the eyes of Homer Simpson, and the "plot" is tied together by an altogether way too accurate impression of his speech. Take a moment to think about Homer's catchphrases, particularly "D'oh!" and that drooly, guttural groan he lets out whenever he sees beer or peanuts or whatever. Are those noises you wish to hear while staring at bright, base color genitalia? Too bad, because you're going to.