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As what’s left of the gun-control bill attempts to slowly wind its way through Congress, staunch opponents of new legislation can’t help but be condescending and offensive. According to Senator James Inhofe of Oklahoma, President Obama is manipulating the families of Newtown victims into supporting gun control, when it has nothing to do with them in the lawmaker’s own twisted version of reality. “See, I think it’s so unfair of the administration to hurt these families, to make them think this has something to do with them when, in fact, it doesn’t,” Inhofe explained. And if they believe it does, “that’s because they’ve been told that by the president.”

To be clear, the senator’s crassness is directed at independent, free-thinking adults whose children were brutally murdered by a mentally ill man in possession of a military-style arsenal. People who, as part of their grieving process, have decided that their time is best spent telling their story and offering suggestions that they believe could help prevent similar nightmares. These are not paid consultants, actors, props, or pawns, and their involvement is not political, but personal. Not every Newtown parent agrees, which is fine. But to discount their voices as if they’ve been brainwashed in the name of partisanship is both disgusting and cruel.

Don’t take our word for it — they’re happy to tell anyone who’s willing to listen: