“What is the fastest debut goal ever scored?” wonders Carl Worswick.

Step forward former Plymouth striker Jamie Mackie who, having signing from rivals and then-non league Exeter City, endeared himself to the Pilgrims’ faithful on 12 February 2008 by scoring 11 seconds after coming off the bench in his debut against Brighton; Mackie ended up with a brace in that game. Also bagging a double is reader David Williams, who identified Maheta Molango’s fast start for the Seagulls, finding the target 12 seconds into his bow for the club against Reading in August 2004. “Sadly that was as good as it got for Maheta in a Brighton shirt, but he’s doing OK now as a lawyer.”

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Jürgen Klopp likes his players to have a bit of pace to their game and new arrival Milos Jojic got in his manager’s good books at Borussia Dortmund in February 2014, scoring with his first touch just 17 seconds after being sent on against Eintracht Frankfurt, for an all-time Bundesliga record. Julian Unkel adds: “He also scored in his debut for the Serbian national team, but it took him four whole minutes to do so.” Doubling Jojic’s mark is Tony Cottee, who for a brief time was England’s most expensive footballer having arrived at Everton from West Ham for £2.2m in August 1988. Cottee quickly replied to any “what a waste of money” chants with a strike after 34 seconds against Newcastle at Goodison Park, before going on to claim a hat-trick.

Fellow reader James Andrew nominates the great journeyman Lloyd Owusu who, in September 2002, achieved the boyhood dreams of at least one half of Sheffield: “[He] scored within 60 seconds of his debut for Wednesday, coming on as sub and scoring the first goal against United in a 2-0 win. Instant cult status achieved, followed by a slow decline into mediocrity.” Barry Robson buried a free-kick for Celtic against Aberdeen in February 2008, 63 seconds after coming off the bench for his first appearance. “Not a bad way to start your career with a club,” as Craig Wilson recalls. Keeping it a little more current, Paul Bromley has flagged Elliot Romain, who earlier this month claimed his first goal for Maidstone United two minutes into his debut as a substitute as they beat Leyton Orient 2-0 in FA Cup qualifying.

Michael Ricketts may well feel aggrieved not to be mentioned a little higher up, but unfortunately we’ve been unable to find a proper record of the timing of his goal for Walsall against Brighton (them again) in May 1996 as the 17-year-old scored with his first touch.

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Speedy substitute doubles

“Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang entered the pitch in the 61st minute against Leicester,” tweets Emerytus. “He had two goals on his account by the 66th. Has any sub taken less time to score a brace?”

Over to Jon Keen: “I can’t beat it, but I can just about equal it – in January 2013 in Reading’s match away at Newcastle, Adam Le Fondre came off the bench in the 71st minute, and by the 76th minute had scored twice to win the match for the Royals. Then, just 11 days later, he came off the bench at home to Chelsea and scored a three-minute brace to secure a 2-2 draw – however in that second instance it did take him 21 minutes to open his account.”

Darren Jalland has a prime example of when a record supersedes an equally remarkable feat within it, as Bournemouth’s James Hayter proved against Wrexham on February 24, 2004 with two of his three goals inside 45 seconds. “Hayter came on as an 84th-minute sub with his side already 3-0 up. He proceeded to score with his first two touches, both in the 86th minute. Then, for good measure, he rounded off the Football League’s fastest ever hat-trick in the 88th minute – 140 seconds for the whole thing. Sadly, Hayter’s parents left the match just before he entered the fray in order to catch the last ferry back home to the Isle of Wight, so missed their son’s moment of glory.”

Facebook Twitter Pinterest James Hayter’s 140 second hat-trick for Bournemouth.

Meanwhile, Mark Jameson recalls a Berlin City Cup tie between Union Berlin and CFC Hertha 06 on 6 March 2007. “Daniel Teixeira (still the best ever striker in the red of Union, 67 goals in 78 games officially) dusted off his boots at half-time and, aged 39, scored in the 47th, 49th and 51st minute for a six-minute hat trick.”

That negative feeling

“Has any team, in any professional league, finished a season with negative points?” enquires Doug Zanger.

Rob Lawshaw has taken a deep dive and plucked this gem out for us. “Maccabi Umm al-Fahm in the Israeli Second Division in 2013-14 finished on -4, having been deducted five points after managing one draw all season. Following relegation into the Third Division, they again only obtained one draw but also had a one point deduction to finish on 0 points, giving a total over two seasons of P60, W0, D2, L58, F26 A257, GD-231, PTS-4.”

Knowledge archive

“Did the great and the good of football officialdom (OK, Sepp Blatter) actually ever play the game professionally?” asked Andy Burrows in 2007.

Not professionally, but football’s former biggest cheese did play as a striker at an amateur level for a number of years in Switzerland. Indeed, according to Fifa’s official website, Blatter’s career spanned a whopping 23 years from 1948 (this is presumably including youth football as he would have been 12 at that time) to 1971 – most, if not all of which was spent with his hometown side FC Visp.

“I scored a lot of goals,” boasted Blatter to interviewers from CNN as they filmed a television documentary about him in 2006. “That’s not a false modesty – it’s really true, especially at the youth level.” We’d be inclined not to believe him about this, or the story about splitting a pair of boots (“I took the left, he took the right”) with a friend for his first ever game, but since he did own up to diving (“I was not a perfect player, I have to say, being a striker”) and having a go at referees during his playing days in the same interview, we’re prepared to give him the benefit of the doubt.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Any excuse. Photograph: Diether Endlicher/AP

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Can you help?

“On 24 October, Norwich substitute Lewis Thompson came on as sub against Aston Villa and was then subbed off 15 seconds later after injuring his arm,” writes Matt Davies. “Is this the quickest ever substitute of a substitute?”

Alex G (@alexiterick) Following what happened to Lopetegui, which manager holds the record for having been sacked the most times in a year?

“Has a manager ever gone out on loan to another club?” asks Tom Colyer.

Scott Sumner (@sasumner) Blackburn Rovers have not had a goalkeeper sent off since Tim Flowers in 1995. Is this a record or are such long spans fairly common?

Tim Postins (@TimePositions) One for @TheKnowledge_GU



During today’s 9-0 win in Division One of the Toolstation Western League, Cheddar FC hit their 19th goal in a row to be scored by a player with the first name Adam. That’s got to be a record, right? @CheddarFC1892 @TSWesternLeague

Paul Jenkins (@fourfoot) Has any team ever been relegated despite scoring in every league game?

Styrmann (@christianholum) @TheKnowledge_GU Raufoss’ Christer Johansen managed to get promoted with 4 different teams in 2018: Tromsø 2, Raufoss, Raufoss 2 and Raufoss U19. Is this a record?

“Has there ever been an occasion when a match official has donned a hat to help block out the sun?” wonders James A Crane.

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