TOP 1 / BOTTOM 1:

Top 1:

Jack: Arbor Demon - Look, I could go with the sexy pick and choose Rings or A Cure for Wellness here, but I’ve gotta vote with my heart goddamn it, and honestly, A Cure for Wellness just doesn’t do that much for me. The demon monster thing in this though looks fucking awesome.

Jake: A Cure for Wellness - don’t listen to Jack. He blacked out that day. This movie looks fucking gorgeous. I am quite confident this will be the best movie of the bunch. My only concern is that I hope it’s not too Shutter Island-y and carves out its own, better path.

Mark: Rings - I’m legally obligated to mention this as my top 1. That being said, please also go watch Get Out. Rings is my top 1 because I’m married to its original as one of the best things to happen to horror. Get Out looks like it could legit create a new horror sub-genre in its own right. Can I just demand that you see both?

Bottom 1:

Jack: Eloise - Fuck you movie. Right from your stupid premise, all the way through to your poor execution, fuck you.

Jake: Bornless Ones - In a continued effort to lay up off the movies that are clearly low on the totem pole (some of those are made by beginning filmmakers who I think absolutely deserve a shot and many are capable of great things, especially after giving it a few cracks) and avoid the fuck-heaps that don’t deserve our recognition, I’m just going with the one I had already forgotten about from the first time I went through this list to now. Nooooooope.

Mark: The Covenant - There isn’t a lack of movies that are bad this month. This is the worst fucking insult of a trailer I have seen come across my feed in quite some time. Easily worse looking than anything I saw all of last year. Now, let me say, there’s a chance this movie is good. We’re not here to judge movies, we’re here to judge trailers, and this trailer is the worst goddamn fucking insult of a trailer to have come across my feed in quite some time. I award you no points and may god have mercy on your souls.