PLANO, TX—In the six weeks since classes began at Plano Senior High School, quiet, nerdy student Henry Orvis, 16, has been lying in wait and looking for just the right moment to unleash his freestyle rap talents on his fellow sophomores, sources reported Monday. “Soon, very soon, the time will be right, and I daresay they won’t know what hit them when I start spitting mad fire,” said the unpopular Orvis, who reportedly spent much of the summer practicing his MC skills alone in his bedroom so that, upon returning to school last month, he could “catch wreck” with students in his class. “Just wait until these high school fools find out I’ve got flow like Nas. They have no idea what kind of nasty rhymes I have in store for them. They’ll never see it coming.” At press time, sources confirmed Orvis was not yet four bars into his first public freestyle attempt when his classmates beat the shit out of him.

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