A study by the Resolution Foundation has shown that average low-income households are likely to be worse off under the Conservative Government.

This is in part due to the new ‘Dirty Scroungers’ Tax to be implemented on anybody on Universal credit, from a working class household, or living anywhere above Milton Keynes.

The Conservatives will also update the widely criticised bedroom tax, but it will now apply to those who are unable to afford a house with more than six.

Further taxes to be rolled out over the next year will include the ‘Lack of patriotism’ tax, deductions for ‘Publicly acknowledging the economic downfall’ and the ‘Why don’t you just fuck off to France then?’ debit.

The study says those living in the poorest areas will be on average worse off.

These will be areas without at less than 3 Pret a Mangers in a 5 mile radius.

A series of blunders means Universal Credit it will not be completed until at least 2023, well past its 2017 due date.

Or as it shall legally be known, ‘The year of our everlasting party 5 A.B (After Boris)’.

Ministers originally argued the new system would reduce poverty .

They argued that suicides and the deaths of those on the system was technically ‘reducing poverty’ and anybody suggesting morals or humanist ideals should ‘fuck off to France’.

Ministers then said they were allowed to say that, as for them it’s tax deductible.