Inbev Belgium Budweiser: Zero (Belgium: Low Alcohol: 0.0% ABV)

Visual: Pale yellow brown clear body. A small off white head, and surprisingly low carbonation in the main body.

Nose: Slight sulphur. Sugar dusting. Vanilla. Soft lime. Caramel.

Body: Wet rocks. Charred note. Dry. Granite. Salt touch. Muggy. Off feeling bitterness. Some dry caramel.

Finish: Granite. Slight bitterness. Generally gritty. Gritty hop character. Wet air. Lime touch.

Conclusion: Ok, is this as bad as Tesco Value Lager? Notice I am not asking if it is good, that option flew a long time ago.

Actually, it did have one moment. One moment where it may have been something more. In the aroma, slightly muggy that it was, it did have a soft sweetness and lime touch that made me think this had the potential to be inoffensive.

High praise eh?

The body’s core is empty feeling, which, ya know, is Budweiser, but all around this are these rough granite, gritty notes. It feels like they made no attempt when brewing to compensate for the lack of malt backbone to offset the off notes and it just leaves everything dry and harsh.

There are vaguest hints that this could have been more – a touch of lime here, a whiff of caramel there, but in general it manages to be both offensively dull and empty and yet rough. If they had made it that bad deliberately that would have taken skill.

So is it worse than Tesco Value lager? Maybe, maybe not. Value Lager tastes worse, but does it in a more interesting way that I can tear into. This is crap in a very dull way. I’m not even enjoying insulting it that much.

Make of that what you will. Tesco Value is probably worse, yet I regret drinking this more.

This is the king of beers only in that I am an utter anti monarchist.

Background; Yep, Belgium. This was brewed in Belgium. Shocked me as well – we don’t even get the real USA piss water. We get the contract brewed version. I once drank standard Bud in New York. While not good, I remember it felt more easy drinking than the one we get here, but emptier in flavour. Though that was many a year ago. Wonder what differences there are here between this and the *ahem* real deal. Anyway, saw this is Co-op and thought “Fuck it, not done a beer I expect to be terrible for joke for a while, let’s give it a go, amuse the readers” So yes I went in with high expectations, honest, but seriously, I was willing to give it a chance – I have been surprised before by beers I expected to be terrible. Though I did put on Slipknot self titled album as backing music as I expected a need for rage and shouting, so I may have been tipping my hand there.