A battle in which everyone loses (except us).

Just because two people are conservative columnists who work for News Corp and like to denigrate minorities pretty much all the time, doesn’t mean that they get on. Ladies and gentleman I present to you, Miranda Devine and Andrew Bolt bloody losing it at each other on 3AW last night. Enjoy.

Okay before you listen though, there’s just so much to enjoy about this. It is fun to listen to two commentators who generally target people who don’t have the same sort of privileged platform as themselves, have a go at each other instead. It’s also fun because from the very start you know that something is going down: “What a pleasure. This should be an interesting conversation,” says Bolt off the bat.

“Isn’t this a pleasure? I know, I mean we agree on so much,” says Devine, in a terrifically passive aggressive tone. “But we also differ. And difference makes it more interesting,” says Bolt. In case you generally try to avoid these two media personalities, basically all you need to know is that Devine likes Malcolm Turnbull and does not like Tony Abbott. Bolt holds the opposite views. Devine is filling in for Steve Price, who is in the jungle on account of Channel Ten contracts. Price and Bolt usually get on famously.

Currently listening to last night's Miranda Devine podcast. Guest is Andrew Bolt. Man oh man do they hate each other! — ConservativeCatholic (@cathservative65) February 6, 2017

Most of the conversation revolved around whether Abbott could make a political comeback, a point that Devine said was “the only point” that Bolt had been making “for the last six months”. I mean, if someone told me I had only made one point in six months, and my job was to come up with a variety of inflammatory points on a regular basis, I would be pretty cross too!

“So you’re saying on the one hand you don’t believe the polls when they came to Tony Abbott, but you do believe the polls now when it comes to Malcolm Turnbull?” said Devine. “Miranda, this is so frustrating. You ascribe to me a view that I don’t hold, then when I correct it, instead of listening and accepting it, you once again say the same thing,” said Bolt.

Then the conversation — which only went for 10 minutes — descended into them both yelling “WHAT ABOUT THE POLLS” at each other and Bolt asking Devine not to “attack” him. At one point Bolt gave Devine pointers on how to run a radio show, which did not go down so well, with Devine calling the conversation “fruitless”.

“For Christ’s sake, Miranda, listen to what I’m saying. If you give me a question, I’ll answer it and if you keep interrupting me, I’m afraid I’m going to hang up,” said Bolt. “Oh Andrew, don’t do this. We’ve got five weeks. We have to get on,” said Devine. “Miranda, in that case you’re describing a living hell for me,” said Bolt.

Bolt didn’t hang up (he did throw in a “If it’s your show, how about you do it without me?” which is very dramatic and fantastic) and by the end of the conversation Devine said that while the tension between them had been “boiling for a while” they were going to try again tonight. “Let’s see,” said Bolt. Never has there been more of a reason to listen to 3AW.