America: Sucker Nation

Mark Ames ( Email ) on October 3, 2007





More proof that the Sucker Monkeys are destroying America came yesterday in reports about how the collapsing American dollar is allowing foreign companies from Europe, Asia and Canada (yes, Canada!) to snap up American firms in what an analyst called



Thanks to the Red State monkeys, America now has suffered its worst military defeat and foreign policy disaster ever (naturally they're rallying around their favorite



Which probably explains why the Red State suckers love bashing Mexico. They're the only people left poorer than the Red State monkeys, from a country even in worse shape than ours (though at this rate, Red State Republican voters might soon find themselves swimming across the Rio Grande in search of jobs in the Canadian and Korean malquiladoras, while the Red State womenfolk end up in brothels patronized by Swedish and Austrian sex tourists, because it's the only way that Jethro and Bobby Sue can afford to shop at Sam's Club, now renamed "Svjen's Club" ever since the Danish buyout...).



What this boils down to is the old adage: Giving voting rights to Red State suckers is like putting a live grenade in the hands of a monkey. We should have let the South secede long ago, and push it into the sewer of history where it was destined to go, had it not clung to the Union's coattails, and eventually dragged us down with them.



Late note: seems like there's hope after all, as this



--Mark Ames What do you call an American who votes Republican and isn't a millionaire? A "Sucker."More proof that the Sucker Monkeys are destroying America came yesterday in reports about how the collapsing American dollar is allowing foreign companies from Europe, Asia and Canada (yes, Canada!) to snap up American firms in what an analyst called "the world's largest tag sale." The kicker to all this is that America's new foreign masters are likely to do to American workers what Americans did to their colonial natives--downsize, cut benefits, and basically treat them like so much cheap exploitable human material.Thanks to the Red State monkeys, America now has suffered its worst military defeat and foreign policy disaster ever (naturally they're rallying around their favorite draft-dodging junkie, Rush Limbaugh, in response to fucking their war up); has seen its currency collapse to the point where the world financial community is starting to dump it for Euros; and now, America is up for a fire sale, because to foreigners, we look just like Mexico.Which probably explains why the Red State suckers love bashing Mexico. They're the only people left poorer than the Red State monkeys, from a country even in worse shape than ours (though at this rate, Red State Republican voters might soon find themselves swimming across the Rio Grande in search of jobs in the Canadian and Korean malquiladoras, while the Red State womenfolk end up in brothels patronized by Swedish and Austrian sex tourists, because it's the only way that Jethro and Bobby Sue can afford to shop at Sam's Club, now renamed "Svjen's Club" ever since the Danish buyout...).What this boils down to is the old adage: Giving voting rights to Red State suckers is like putting a live grenade in the hands of a monkey. We should have let the South secede long ago, and push it into the sewer of history where it was destined to go, had it not clung to the Union's coattails, and eventually dragged us down with them.Late note: seems like there's hope after all, as this article about a nerdoid group called the League of the South gathered for a Secessionist Conference in Tennessee to discuss their Deliverance-Nation fantasy. The one alleged downside is that Vermont--yes, mighty Vermont, the nation's third-most important producer of autumn leaf-changing scenery--is also rattling its secessionist nerf-saber. I'd like to go on the record here and say that, as a native Californian, I'm willing to lose Vermont if it means that the Deliverance monkeys finally secede from the Union. Yes, the loss of Vermont, though regrettable is a price I am willing to make. But reality reminds me that the South are the original Surrender Monkeys , not to mention the nation's Welfare Queens , so I'm not going to hold my breath of anything happening soon.



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