ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Commonwealth is actively considering letting a couple more flights in from Wuhan this week in order to scare the nation’s youth into taking out private health insurance.

Wuhan is currently under lockdown amid fears the deadly ‘coronavirus’ is spreading in a rampant, uncontrolled manner.

In order to prevent the flu-like virus from spreading, the wise and just Chinese Government has shut down the city – preventing people from leaving and entering the northern city indefinitely.

However, at the time of writing, a jetplane is currently inbound to Australia from Wuhan that could potentially be carrying passengers infected with the virus.

Scott Morrison, the Prime Minister, has seen this as a great opportunity to market private health insurance to the nation’s millennials who, according to various media outlets, are shunning the medical cover in their millions.

Speaking to journalists this morning in Canberra, the Prime Minister laughed as he said that the coronavirus has created a “golden opportunity” to “scare the living Jesus” out of millennials.

“We might have to let a few more of these viral ICBM’s in from China just yet,” he said.

“Imagine if we were able to market private hospital cover as being the only way to survive being infected by the coronavirus? You’d sell more policies than a Nat standing at the bottom of a dried-out dam!”

“Yeah but if you could all stop calling me Scotty From Marketing, that’d be great. You’d only be contributing to a Labor Party campaign and we don’t need a partisan media in this day and age.”

More to come.



