Craving some tasty buffalo wing flavor, without the wings? This will make you happy.

First, make some homemade flatbread. This is NOT hard. And way better than tortillas or pitas from the store. Once you do this once you’ll be hooked.

Homemade flatbread

1 and ¼ cups all purpose flour

½ tsp baking powder

½ tsp salt

1/8 cup vegetable oil

2-3 cloves minced garlic (optional)

½ cup hot water

Mix the dry ingredients with a fork. Add the oil and water (and garlic, if you’re into it), and mix with a fork until combined (don’t overmix; you just need this to come together. Add an extra TBSP of hot water if needed) Turn dough out onto a lightly floured cutting board. Fold dough over 2-3 times until it is a cohesive lump. Use a butter knife to cut into 6 equal pieces, smash each piece down with your palm into a semi-roundish patty, cover with a kitchen towel, and set aside for half an hour. (Or if you’re in a rush, don’t wait. It just won’t be quite as easy to roll the dough thin if you don’t wait. But it still works and is tasty). Heat a cast iron skillet over a medium flame. Don’t butter it or anything. Doesn’t need it. Roll out one of the dough patties. It won’t be a perfect circle. Doesn’t matter. Just roll it as thin as you can without being a crazy person. Throw it in the skillet. It will start to bubble after about a minute. Might be sooner. Or it might be later. Depends on how hot the skillet is. Just flip it when it bubbles a bit. It should be nice and golden brown and speckled. If it isn’t, don’t worry about it. Just flip it back over and cook it until it is. The second side should be faster. Keep rolling dough patties out one at a time and repeating this process. When all 6 are done, wrap in foil and throw in a 175F oven to keep ‘em warm until everything else is done.

Buffalo cauliflower

1 head cauliflower

½ cup flour

1/3 cup cornstarch

1 tsp salt

¼ tsp garlic powder

½ cup cold water

oil for frying (peanut or canola)

½ bottle buffalo sauce (or make your own if you’re some kind of magician)

Break down a head of cauliflower into bite-sized florets. Rinse them off. Or if you’re lazy like me, just swish em around in a bowl of cold water, then drain. Mix flour, cornstarch, garlic powder, and salt. (Do this. For real. If you don’t the corrnstarch can turn rock hard when you add the water.) Now add the water. Beat with a fork until you have a thick batter. Heat a couple of inches of oil in a deep pan (I use a heavy bottomed stock pot because oil scares me.) Get the oil to 350F-ish. I just plop the handle of a wooden spoon into the oil. If it gets bubbles around it right away, it’s hot enough. Toss some of the cauliflower in the batter, and use a slotted spoon or spider to transfer into the oil. Let it cook until golden brown. Turn and let it cook on the other side. Transfer to a paper towel lined plate to drain, and repeat with the rest of the cauliflower. Right before serving, toss the cauliflower in a bowl with the buffalo sauce.

Assembly

1 stalk celery, cut lengthwise into 4 strips, then cut into finger-length pieces

1 bottle bleu cheese dressing

1 tomato, cut into thin slices (optional)

Take one of your toasty warm flatbreads, and toss 2 thin tomato slices on it. Add a few pieces of cauliflower, and a couple of pieces of celery.

Drizzle with bleu cheese dressing and stuff it in your face asap.