Yesterday I smoked Salvia and made some awesome music with my friends. Our band is called ConSec. Its hard to describe but I have had one friend compare it to Psychic TV.

The Salvia has affected me more today, and I am beginning to wonder if the Shamen who developed this form of psychonautics didn’t aim for the after effect.

I ran 2.8 miles tonight at midnight. This is unusual behavior for me to say the least, I feel full of power. Manic, like Charlie Sheen.

Though I also feel totally in control.

If you will forgive me a little New Ageyness I feel as though I have finally risen from my Svadisthana Chakra to my Anahata Chakra. But it is with the realization that Nihilism is true. I feel it is a deeper atheism than what I was manifesting before.

Nihilism has deep liberating power.

My mind and imagination have run rich with imagery and character. I feel like I am living my life like a play, though its totally stupid because we are all going to go extinct.

Everything we do and we are is dying. The 2nd law of thermodynamics sends the entire universe into white noise.

I love it.

Life is emergent in this mess. And so are memes. My beautiful memes.

I feel that my Augoiedes is a Kali energy. A dark venus. A sacred celestial whore who is come to kill me.

This is the universe itself. A dark and terrifying womb of atoms colliding in deterministic chaos. Statistical mishaps. Epiphenomenon.

Some very neuroscientific philosophers of mind claim even consciousness itself is but a mere illusion as faster causes for our behavior can be found in the neuroimaging studies.

I fucking love it.

Thats where we must seek our true power. In the statistical error bars. They are always there, in the margins of error.

From these margins life emerges, and from life’s margins, the mind, and what then emerges from the margins of the mind?

Clearly, for my aims at true autotelic experience, this newfound Salvia inspired Nihilism is good for me.