I fled the US in 2008. That sounds melodramatic, but in my mind I have always felt like I'm fleeing that country. I was born in Massachusetts and grew up as an American, but by the time I had finished my Masters degree I was so disillusioned with the Bush administration that I could only see the country getting worse from there.

Every day I live as a Kiwi in New Zealand I am positive I made the right decision. I fear returning to the US because of the rampant violence and hatred. With an impending Trumpocalypse on the horizon, I now also fear returning because I am Muslim.

I'm the sort of privileged Muslim who gets to say things that many other Muslims don't. This is because I don't wear my religion on my skin, or through my ethnicity, my accent, or any of a number of other identifiers people associate with Muslims.

I'm just a straight white guy with an unfortunate American accent who is the sole Muslim in my extended family. I feel that being an expatriated American who is also Muslim gives me some insights that others may not have.

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I am numb from the news about the mass shooting that occurred in a Florida night club overnight. A gunman armed with an assault rifle walked into a gay bar, killed at least 50 people, and injured 53 more. He reportedly pledged himself to ISIS. It is now the worst mass shooting in US history. I am so sorry for those people, for their families, for their friends, for their community, for their sense of safety, for their inclusion in a world that only wants to exclude them. I am also sorry for all of the gay Muslims around the world who now feel doubly excluded from their identities.

Every time I read a story like this as it unfolds, I say to myself: "Please don't be Muslim, please don't be Muslim." I am a huge ally to the LGBTQQA (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Queer, Questioning and Allied) community and I know what effect this has on how people in the community view Muslims. I want you to know that not all Muslims are homophobic.

My wife and I had active voices in the political discussions supporting gay marriage law reform in New Zealand. Many of our closest friends identify as part of the LGBTQQA community. I have several students both past and present who do as well. In my understanding of Islam, there is absolutely nothing about being gay that is incompatible with the message of my religion. (For anyone who wishes to call me out on this, please be aware that I regard only the Quran as an authoritative text, and I avoid Hadith. For this reason you would call me a Quranist.)

To Omar Mateen, the man responsible for the shooting, you, sir, are not a Muslim. If there is Jannah (garden of paradise - or heaven), none of it is for you. There is never a time to commit such an atrocity, but you chose an even worse time to do it: during the month of Ramadan. Ramadan is the holiest time of year for Muslims - a month of fasting for the observant who recognise the suffering and experience of those who do not have enough food to keep them full on a daily basis.

It is a month where we are meant to be empathetic to others, not hateful. To be hateful, to be cruel, to be murderous during this time is just about the worst thing you can do as a Muslim. What you have done is haram (forbidden). You and those who believe like you have turned this month into Haramadan, and you should be ashamed.

While there are many individual Muslims out there who have a dim view of homosexuality (or anything other than cis-gender), it doesn't represent all of us. In fact, I will be one of your greatest allies whenever I can be. So too is my wife. So too are other Muslims we know around the world. Just because someone is Muslim doesn't mean they hate you for who you are. Many Muslims have simply never been educated on the subject.

There are many LGBTQQA individuals who have grown up Muslim only to hate themselves or their families because it feels like there is no escape. These people can't even come out of the closet because if they do, they put themselves and their entire family at risk for retaliation by extremist idiots. It is our job to try to educate these families. It is a difficult, sometimes impossible job, and it puts us on the radar for retaliation, as well. But it needs to be done. We all need to do it, because in this day and age, there is absolutely no excuse to be homophobic.

No doubt someone will find a passage in the Quran that appears to disapprove of homosexuality. Here is what you should know about the Quran and its relationship to homosexuality: what the Quran has to say about men having sex with men has less to do with homosexuality and more to do with rape. The Quran was written at a time when Mohammed tried to combine so many various factions of Arab peoples who each had their own pagan religions.

They were in constant conflict with each other. One practice common to many of these people was when one tribe would conquer another, the conquerors raped the conquered men. To put it bluntly, the winning side took the losing side as a sign of dominance. This specific practice is what the Quran condemns. The references here are to rape, not to two men who love each other. Interestingly enough, the Quran never mentions anything to do with lesbian relationships.

The second point has to do with gun culture in the US. This is something so firmly entrenched in the American psyche that it is foreign to the rest of us. My parents, who I considered as fairly level-headed progressive individuals, were even taken aback when I suggested that Americans should give up their guns. Even giving up assault weapons was a no-go zone for my dad. How is this possible?, I asked myself.

In order to understand this sentiment, you have to understand how afraid everyone in the US is. Some people are rightly afraid of being shot and killed. If you're not white or straight, your chance of being shot and killed is significantly higher. White people often fear violence coming to their doorstep. Somewhere deep inside American culture people learn that they need to always be ready to defend themselves.

If you can't defend your family then it is your own fault. If you have a gun, you can defend your family. Your patriotism is confirmed and you feel a greater level of safety. Until your child finds your gun and uses it to shoot his brother. Or he takes it to school to even a score. No one argues with a gun - it is the ultimate equalizer.

Of course, if guns weren't available en masse, there would be no reason to need a gun. How many Kiwis do you know with an arsenal in their homes? Sure, there is robbery here, even violent assault at times, and a few gun-related murders. But we don't live in fear of guns. Owning a gun reminds you that other people have guns, too. The very possession of a gun is its own paranoia.

Americans fear that if you take away their guns, then only criminals will have guns. Not so. Australia is a good case in point.

How do you fix this problem? I can't be sure. However, I know that my worldview completely changed when I exposed myself to more of the world. Sadly, many Americans lack such perspective. I'm amazed by the people who still believe that America is the greatest country in the world. I don't believe that was ever the case, but many people do - yet now the paint is chipping on that veneer for many Americans, even hardcore jingoists.

The only way I can see Americans understanding how gun reform can work is if they see its positive effect in another country similar to America in both size and politics. Again, Australia is a good candidate. But how to get this message across to them is another problem entirely.