I’ve lived most of my life in the Northeastern United States, but there are always those moments when I am reminded that I really hail from the Midwest. Case in point: I still can’t get over the fact that there are adults in this country who have never eaten a corn dog. What’s more, many of the New Englanders I’ve known actually consider corn dogs to be carnival fare. I mean, really? What planet did you grow up on? Where I come from, deep frying is just another cooking technique, and corn dogs are just another main dish.

I firmly believe that eating at least one corn dog should be on everyone’s bucket list, and fortunately for you, these suckers are super easy to make. You’ll need some wooden skewers or sticks. A deep fryer will also make your life a bit easier, but it isn’t necessary, provided you have a deep, heavy-bottomed pot and a food thermometer and an equally deep, abiding love of third-degree burns.

If you’re ultra-committed, you can try your hand at making your own “hot dog” style seitan sausages … but since this is kind of goofy food anyway, you really shouldn’t feel bad about not making it entirely from scratch. I’m sure most of you are well-acquainted with the many varieties of veggie dogs out there, but since I am very much not stoked on LightLife, I’ll give a shout-out to Field Roast frankfurters, which I think come closer to being “real food” than any hot dog I’ve ever encountered, vegan or not.

Finally, I know someone’s going to ask, so I’ll tell you upfront that yes, I’m sure these would be just fine baked, too. Perusing the Web, it seems like the most popular way of making baked corn dogs is in mini muffin tins: place a dollop of the cornmeal batter in a greased muffin cup, drop a chunk of hot dog in the middle, cover it with more batter, and bake ’til golden. That said, a little deep-frying never killed anyone. If it did, they would’ve locked up my grandmother (who, last, I checked, had four deep fryers to her name) decades ago.

