i’ve been thinking of this: if we were a matriarchal species, what would our model of sex be? currently, it is piv plus male domination (plus erasure of hetero tribadism, usually even cunnilingus, manual on her, etc) and what that results in to “up the ante” eg pia, the use of the throat, strangulation, etc. the two things that come to mind: if it were one act, would it be cunnilingus?

that would probably be the closest comparison to what piv is for women for men. the other closest comparison would be her rubbing her clitoris and vulva on his scrotum/testicles.

currently our vision of sex is entry, of outtie (usually penis, sometimes dildo, hand, etc) going into innie (vagina, mouth, anus/rectum) and revolves primarily around the penis (so even when sex isn’t just piv or pia, it’s fellatio, manual penile stimulation, using assorted body parts to stimulate the penis like breasts, thighs, feet…)

the other way i think sex would be regarded (other than vulva-scrotum or cunnilingus) would be genitals especially vulvas/clitorises rubbing on all sorts of things, aka outercourse, tribadism, frottage: scrotum, penis shaft, dick tip, thigh, bum, back, tummy, hip, breasts (yes, men’s breasts), calves, shoulders, hands. mouths can be seen as being rubbed on too, especially in cunnilingus. everywhere. rubbing on would be the model. piv would simply be another way people could rub together, if pregnancy wasn’t a concern (vasectomy and/or vasagel being the norm for teen boys and men like hormonal birth control is the norm for teen girls and women now, menstruation…).

would men be expected to orgasm and depicted as orgasming from having their balls rubbed on and using their mouths like women are expected to orgasm and depicted as orgasming from piv and increasingly from pia, performing fellatio, objects inside them, etc? would men be shown moaning like crazy at their mouth on a vulva? do we think it would be a reversal at all, eg vulva-balls or cunnilingus as THE definition of sex, expecting men to orgasm without penile stimulation, wondering why more men don’t come from going down on women or having their balls rubbed on or would it be a more general, still vulva-centred rubbing on?

would sex advice largely consist of telling men to touch their penises during sex so they could come too (like the reverse happens all the flipping time), and that sex was vulval/clitoral stimulation and most foreplay was vulval/clitoral stimulation too. that women shouldn’t be expected to get him off, that he should do it himself if he needs penis stimulation? that if a gal purposely touched his dick at all she was omg the best? that cunnilingus without reciprocation was the norm? would male masturbation be discussed as making men fixate on their penis and desensitizing them to their true oral and scrotal eroticism? would men be told and depicted as masturbating via stimulating their lips, tongue, inside of their mouth, balls, even thigh or bum because women love rubbing off on those and anything that feels good for her must feel good for him and are how men do and should come… would men have to watch gay porn to see men being pleasured, orgasming, having a good time? to watch lesbian porn to see women without seeing men being treated like crap? would straight porn revolve around the vulva and clitoris and sex acts stimulating them and show men usually getting no penis stimulation at all unless it was by himself?

why i think this? matriarchal groups of mammals, and even male dominant mammals, have most sex revolve around cunnilingus, hand/fin/flipper/foot/etc stimulation of the vulva, tribadism and frottage, etc. there’s far more vulva stimulation on and by him than penis stimulation on or by her in most species. male dogs will mount dozens of times, be mounted, perform cunnilingus, engage in rubbing on and being rubbed on, engage in some bisexuality in groups, etc without or in addition to piv. dogs, higher primates, rhinos, etc clearly have to learn piv and/or discover it by accident. even while mounting, thrusting and grinding are instinctive, the knowledge that penis goes into vagina is learned.

i’ve seen it claimed that bonobo females rarely mount males, but i’ve come across it several times (vulva contact with his back, rump, males inviting females to mount them…). how much research simply doesn’t look for it and ignores it? leaves it unnamed and unquantified because it doesn’t register as sex or even foreplay? in humans, research on outercourse as genital-genital contact is exceedingly rare and mostly old (called genital apposition) and tribadism in hetero contexts is virtually nonexistent and always unnamed as such.

regardless, piv is actually not common in bonobos compared to other sex like mounting without entry, outercourse, tribadism, frottage, manual stimulation, etc and pia is virtually nonexistent (has only been observed once, between two males). most piv isn’t potentially reproductive eg while she’s pregnant, breastfeeding before ovulating again, older female with younger male, and many times stopping before ejaculation. bonobos have far more sex than patriarchal chimps, but less piv, leading to some to argue that bonobos aren’t highly sexed and chimps have more sex, because they only see sex as piv and pia. other studies which recognize ff and mm sex will claim ff sex as the most common, because they only include piv as mf sex. most sex is mf, then ff, then mm and bonobos are universally bisexual.

there’s species of birds and mammals were females mounting males and males presenting to be mounted is customary. there’s an infamous group of macaques that are female dominant and mostly female that researchers have argued has a “female mounting culture” where female-mounting is common. mammalian females mounting males is the most common sex/sexual act that researchers consider “unusual.” that’s how sex is expressed outside of patriarchy, especially human patriarchal societies, which gets it’s definition and model of sex from patriarchal religion, passed down now mostly through video porn. (magazines/photos like penthouse and playboy don’t even register as porn now, men will argue simple female nudity can’t arouse men now even though most mainstream visual porn in the 20th century was that, and porn which doesn’t include piv or pia or strap ons at all or much isn’t even seen as having “action” or anything worth watching, let alone sex.)]

additionally, there is how sex is in various matriarchal cultures, eg margaret mead’s book and field notes on samoa, taboos on piv during breastfeeding which lasts 4 years while the couple still shares a bed, the primacy of the clitoris and vulva in culture and sex, etc. (i’m also reminded of marie bonaparte categorizing men as friends or enemies of the clitoris, but haven’t found much info about that beyond what i posted before.)

(check out specific tags eg mammalian sex for more info, including margaret mead which i didn’t get into here.)