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Rudy Giuliani, former mayor of New York City and squirrelly, chattering sycophant, is president-elect Donald Trump’s primary pick for Secretary of State.


This news comes to the Associate Press from an anonymous senior Trump official. Apparently there are no other contenders for this Cabinet position. If Giuliani wants it, he can take it.

On Monday night, at a Washington event sponsored by the Wall Street Journal, Giuliani confirmed that he would not be Attorney General; however, he did not explicitly say that he was in the running for Secretary of State. According to the Chicago Tribune, he also remarked that John Bolton, former United States ambassador to the United Nations, “would make a very good choice” for the position. But when pressed to divulge whether there was someone else better suited for the job, he grinned and said, “Maybe me, I don’t know.”


Oh Rudy, you card.

To refresh your memory, Giuliani served as one of Trump’s most ardent supporters over the course of his campaign. In the past, he has made racist remarks about President Obama and claimed to have saved more black people than Beyoncé (he’s not a fan of Bey). He went on the record as saying that Hillary Clinton was “too stupid to be president” and, before admitting his error, claimed that she had lied about being in New York City on September 11.

Most recently, he has denounced the spark of protests inspired by Trump’s win and called for President Obama and Secretary Clinton to put a stop to them. Despite the virulent racism and misogyny that characterized Trump’s campaign—and that has swelled in the past week—Giuliani asserts that protesters are “exaggerating the fears” because they’re disappointed to have lost. No need worry, says Rudy G. Those threats of deportation and repealing Roe v. Wade? The appointment of an anti-Semitic white nationalist to the position of Chief Strategist? Mere trifles!

So, this sounds great.