Nostalgia is something I consciously seek out all the time. I steep myself in it like a tea bag in an NPR-branded mug. There’s something about it that’s so calming and naturally soothing to the soul. It helps me forget about whatever responsibilities I have at any time and allows me to just wallow away in self pity. That’s why I long for the days when our most soulful and kind-hearted president, Dick Cheney, was in office.

The miracles that man performed worked wonders on our country. Who can forget the courageous decision to conquer foreign lands through a righteous crusade and heroically pillage their natural resources? It’s not like they could’ve used them. I mean, I’m pretty sure they still ride on camels over there. There’s also the amazing things that President Cheney did to provide comfort and shelter to those who went through the environmental disaster of Hurricane Katrina. After all, I’m pretty sure it was Mr. Kanye West who said “George Bush doesn’t care about black people so I’m really happy the our president, Dick Cheney, has been able to step in.”

What really gets to me about our current administration is that they can’t even seem to pull of their wonderful deeds, however not un-illegal they are, without the dishonest, liberal media trying to get in their way. When Cheney was president of this once great nation, at least the media outlets had the respect to let him do what he needed to do in order to pull off the great services he did for our country.

Cheney had an amazing interview on Showtime’s “Who is America?” (2017) with one of Sacha Baron Cohen’s most sincere characters. I enjoyed watching the old man massage his hands after a long life of public servitude. He hunched over in his chair and gave delightful responses to each of Cohen’s questions. The only thing I think Cheney needed for that interview was a white cat to stroke and maybe a monocle. The cat, of course, would be used to give off the sense that he’s still just as caring as he was before. The monocle could be used for comedic effect since the program isn’t that funny to begin with.

Cheney may go down in history as one of, if not the, most consequential presidents in the history of the United States. While our current administration may have started on the wrong foot, Cheney is a man who always knew how to be upfront and honest about his policies. Here’s to you, Dick.