Things have been quite hectic in Robert Mueller’s world lately. The former FBI director recently released his eagerly-awaited investigative report on Donald Trump, and the findings have sparked a controversial uproar. But we at The Tackle Box were interested in finding out what Robert Mueller, the man, has been up to since his report was released to the public last week, and we were able to catch up with him.

“The phone has been ringing non-stop, people calling with lots of questions and frankly, I just needed a day to myself. I changed my voicemail so everyone would think I was sick, and hopefully stop calling. That may have stopped a few, but it didn’t stop those nearby from coming to my home. So I took a target practice dummy from my training days and put it under my bed covers, in case anyone tried peeking through my window, and dug up some old interrogation tapes of suspects coughing and sneezing and rigged it to my doorbell so anyone outside would really think I was sick.”

Mueller finally got out of the house quietly and caught up with his buddy James Comey, the FBI director who was dismissed by President Trump in May 2017. Comey has been very depressed and feigning illness since he was fired two years ago. After Mueller finally dragged him out of bed, they decided to catch up with gal pal Hillary Clinton, and that’s when the hijinks began.

“We decided to dine out at Trump Tower and prank the waitstaff, just for fun. We visited the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We even caught a Yankees game. It was bananas!” But the shenanigans didn’t stop there; the intrepid trio eventually made their way to the Easter Day Parade, where Robert Mueller managed to hop aboard a float and sing popular hit song “In the Middle” by Zedd. What a hoot!

But the group did face hardships along the way; William Barr, the United States Attorney General, noted Mueller’s absence, and set out on his own unsuccessful odyssey to track down the hooky-playing politician; Bill Clinton, envious of Hillary getting to spend the day out while he had to schmooze with politicians, went down to the police station to rat her out, where he bumped into Monica Lewinsky and patched things up.

To top it all off, James Comey had taken his father’s car out for the day and when he returned it home, he accidentally sent it hurtling over a cliff and wrecked it. “I had to borrow my dad’s car since mine was in the shop. At first I was horrified when I totaled it, but then I remembered that my dad’s memory isn’t so sharp at 88, so I’ve got my fingers crossed that maybe it’ll keep failing him.”

Well, it sounds like the gang had quite the day, and reminded us al that life moves pretty fast, and if we don’t stop to look around once in awhile, we might miss it.