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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill's 12:30 Report — Presented by USAA — Ex-Ukraine ambassador blames 'concerted campaign' for ouster | Sights and sounds from the Capitol | EU envoy to testify after subpoena | Trump loses appeal over subpoenaed financial records | Impeachment polls worry GOP | Trump distances himself from arrested Giuliani associates | Trump goes 'off-script' on Dems at rally, rails against Biden, Omar | Orange full moon on Sunday

HAPPENING ON CAPITOL HILL THIS MORNING

*Record Scratch* *Freeze Frame*

Yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I ended up here:

Former U.S. Ambassador to Ukraine Marie Yovanovitch is on Capitol Hill this morning for closed-door testimony in the impeachment inquiry. http://bit.ly/33qblhM

What Congress wants to hear from Yovanovitch: She is discussing her dismissal as ambassador in May and what she knows about President Trump Donald John TrumpFederal prosecutor speaks out, says Barr 'has brought shame' on Justice Dept. Former Pence aide: White House staffers discussed Trump refusing to leave office Progressive group buys domain name of Trump's No. 1 Supreme Court pick MORE and his lawyer Rudy Giuliani Rudy GiulianiThe Hill's Campaign Report: GOP set to ask SCOTUS to limit mail-in voting CIA found Putin 'probably directing' campaign against Biden: report Democrats fear Russia interference could spoil bid to retake Senate MORE pressuring Ukraine to investigate the Bidens.

NEW REPORTING – WHAT SHE TOLD INVESTIGATORS DURING HER TESTIMONY:

Via The New York Times's Sharon LaFraniere and Nicholas Fandos, Yovanovitch told investigators this morning "that a top State Department official told her that President Trump had pushed for her removal for months even though the department believed she had 'done nothing wrong.'" https://nyti.ms/2IFISN8

From her opening statement: "According to a copy of her opening statement obtained by The New York Times, the longtime diplomat said she was 'incredulous' that she was removed as ambassador 'based, as far as I can tell, on unfounded and false claims by people with clearly questionable motives.'" https://nyti.ms/2IFISN8

TICK TOCK, AS TOLD IN PHOTOS BY CONGRESSIONAL REPORTERS:

Republican lawmakers walking down the staircase and into the hearing: http://bit.ly/2owZ6kM

Yovanovitch walking into the Capitol: http://bit.ly/2IH0U1D

And here is video of the chaos around Yovanovitch: Watch: http://bit.ly/35nuItQ

Yovanovitch going through the Capitol metal detector: http://bit.ly/2M5FEoq

Another angle -- going through security: She is still wearing sunglasses. http://bit.ly/35nukvo

Yovanovitch walking to the hearing -- oh hello, Capitol Police: http://bit.ly/2pgnneQ

I don't think I have a photo of Yovanovitch walking through this hallway yet: She is no longer wearing sunglasses. I repeat: She is no longer wearing sunglasses. http://bit.ly/2pXLYWe

Omg -- The key witness this morning: Here is Gordie the puppy waiting for Yovanovitch. Photo -- because I would never tease something like that without a photo: http://bit.ly/2MDSBVE

For planning purposes:

Below schedule is circulating detailing the next week of probe. (Some may not show)

Oct. 11 at 10a: Yovanovitch

Oct. 14 at 10a: Fiona Hill

Oct. 15 at 10a: Deputy Assistant Secretary George Kent

Oct. 16 at 9:30 am: Gordon Sondland

Oct. 17 at 10a: Ulrich Brechbuhl — Manu Raju (@mkraju) October 11, 2019

Happy Friday! Finally. I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com -- and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook.

Did someone forward this to you? Want your own copy? Sign up here to receive The Hill's 12:30 Report in your inbox daily: http://bit.ly/2kjMNnn

NEWS THIS MORNING

The more I look at the word subpoena, the stranger it looks:

A federal appeals court rejected President Trump's attempt to keep his subpoenaed financial records from House Democrats. http://bit.ly/35uJbEy

Back story: "The Democratic-led House Oversight and Reform Committee issued a subpoena in April to Trump's accounting firm, Mazars USA, seeking financial records on Trump and several of his business entities."

IN THE WHITE HOUSE

Back away from the political liabilities. I repeat, back away from the liabilities:

President Trump has distanced himself from the two associates of his personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani who were arrested on campaign finance charges. http://bit.ly/2IGCGV5

Trump told reporters: "I don't know those gentleman. Now, it's possible I have a picture with them because I have a picture with everybody ... I don't know them, I don't know about them, I don't know what they do. I don't know, maybe they were clients of Rudy's. You'd have to ask Rudy."

By the way: Here's the photo of the two arrested businessmen posing with President Trump. https://cnn.it/2OAINOv

FIVE THINGS TO KNOW ABOUT THE ARREST OF GIULIANI ASSOCIATES:

http://bit.ly/2IECe9O

New report -- Rudy used an Oval Office meeting to vouch for his client:

Via CNN's Evan Perez and Kevin Liptak, President Trump's personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani used a 2017 Oval Office meeting with Trump and then-Secretary of State Rex Tillerson Rex Wayne TillersonGary Cohn: 'I haven't made up my mind' on vote for president in November Kushner says 'Alice in Wonderland' describes Trump presidency: Woodward book Conspicuous by their absence from the Republican Convention MORE to push for charges to be dropped against a client with ties to Turkey's government. https://cnn.it/2Vwo7J9

How Rex Tillerson reacted: "After the meeting Tillerson mentioned the discussion to then-chief of staff John Kelly John Francis KellyMORE, who was not in the meeting, noting that it was a deal he could not support."

Why this is important: "The episode is another reflection of Trump attempting to use his office to influence ongoing Justice Department proceedings. And news of it comes as his relationships to both Giuliani and Turkish President Recep Tayyip Erdoğan come under scrutiny."

Read the full report: https://cnn.it/2Vwo7J9

TIDBIT -- RUDY GIULIANI PLANNED TO FLY TO VIENNA LAST NIGHT:

Via The Atlantic's Elaina Plott, "President Trump's personal lawyer told me he was planning to fly to Vienna roughly 24 hours after his business associates were arrested as they prepared to do the same." This is worth reading: http://bit.ly/2IFgafk

Tidbit -- Omg, you guys. I know we're all getting numb to the news this week, but we cannot let this one slide by:

Via The New York Times's Kenneth P. Vogel, President Trump's personal lawyer Rudy Giuliani was paid hundreds of thousands of dollars by Ukrainian-American businessman Lev Parnas's company, Fraud Guarantee. Yes, that is the name of the company.

Read the full New York Times report: https://nyti.ms/2nCe1K5

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

President Trump went off-script and you know what that means?!

Fight! Fight! Fight!:

During a campaign rally in Minneapolis last night, President Trump railed on House Democrats' impeachment inquiry, accusing them of trying to "overthrow" the government with an "insane" impeachment inquiry. http://bit.ly/2oolXPK

HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE RALLY:

On Democrats: "Now the do-nothing Democrat con artists and scammers are getting desperate. Thirteen months, they've got to move fast, because they're not beating us at the polls and they know it -- despite the phony polls. ... They know they can't win the 2020 election, so they're pursuing the insane impeachment witch hunt." http://bit.ly/2oolXPK

On Rep. Ilhan Omar Ilhan OmarOmar urges Democrats to focus on nonvoters over 'disaffected Trump voters' Omar fires back at Trump over rally remarks: 'This is my country' Trump attacks Omar for criticizing US: 'How did you do where you came from?' MORE (D-Minn.): "Congresswoman Omar is an America-hating socialist. She minimized the September 11th attack on our homeland, where far more than 3,000 people died, saying, 'some people did something.' How do you have such a person representing you in Minnesota? She is a disgrace to our country. I'm very angry with you people right now." Watch Trump's full comments on Omar: http://bit.ly/35mmUst

On going off-script -- it does give me more to write about!: "I gotta tell you. Isn't it much better when I go off script? Isn't that better? So much better." http://bit.ly/2oolXPK

On Joe Biden Joe BidenFormer Pence aide: White House staffers discussed Trump refusing to leave office Progressive group buys domain name of Trump's No. 1 Supreme Court pick Bloomberg rolls out M ad buy to boost Biden in Florida MORE: "He was only a good vice president because he understood how to kiss Barack Obama Barack Hussein ObamaDemocrats ramp up pressure on Lieberman to drop out of Georgia Senate race The Hill's Campaign Report: Biden on Trump: 'He'll leave' l GOP laywers brush off Trump's election remarks l Obama's endorsements Trump pledges to make Juneteenth a federal holiday, designate KKK a terrorist group in pitch to Black voters MORE's ass." Watch Trump's full comment on Biden: http://bit.ly/2IDZTqT

On Hunter Biden: "Joe's son Hunter got thrown out of the Navy and then he became a genius on Wall Street in about two days. Whatever happened to Hunter? Where the hell is he? Where's Hunter? ... Hey fellas, I have an idea for a new T-shirt. Let's do another T-shirt: 'Where's Hunter?'" http://bit.ly/33nuctW

REACTION FROM JOE BIDEN:

"I spent my night at the [Human Rights Campaign] forum talking about the fundamental respect every human being deserves. You spent yours showing how little respect for anyone else you have. America is so much stronger than your weakness, @realDonaldTrump." http://bit.ly/2IGFfGR

PRESIDENT TRUMP'S SON ERIC TESTED OUT A NEW CHANT:

"How do you think Joe Biden ... how do you think his son's feeling right now. Right after embezzling a lot of money, taking a lot of money, the crookedness. ... Maybe lock her up goes to lock him up. Lock him up." (Via C-SPAN'S Howard Mortman) Watch: http://bit.ly/2Vyglya

This was a wildly uncomfortable moment:

If I had to see this, then so do you, my friends.

President @realDonaldTrump mocks an exchange between Peter Strzok and Lisa Page based on text messages between the two during his rally in Minneapolis. pic.twitter.com/NGiwt0ymZ6 — Washington Examiner (@dcexaminer) October 11, 2019

Watch -- I feel dead inside: http://bit.ly/2VzFEA7

WHY RECENT TRUMP POLLING IS WORRYING THE GOP:

http://bit.ly/33qCpOf

IN CONGRESS

Trump's EU ambassador *will* testify:

U.S. Ambassador to the European Union Gordon Sondland, a key witness in the impeachment inquiry, will testify before Congress despite objection from the State Department. http://bit.ly/327kjR9

Why: He will comply with a congressional subpoena.

From Sondland's attorneys: "Notwithstanding the State Department's current direction to not testify, Ambassador Sondland will honor the Committees' subpoena, and he looks forward to testifying on Thursday."

Back story: Sondland was set to testify earlier this week, but the Trump administration abruptly blocked his appearance. House Democrats then subpoenaed Sondland, and he agreed to comply.

WHY GORDON SONDLAND IS AN IMPORTANT WITNESS:

http://bit.ly/2IIxDUf

I believe this is the very definition of 'frenemy':

Via The Hill's Alexander Bolton, "Sen. Lindsey Graham Lindsey Olin GrahamLincoln Project mocks Lindsey Graham's fundraising lag with Sarah McLachlan-themed video The Hill's Morning Report - Sponsored by Facebook - Republicans lawmakers rebuke Trump on election Trump dumbfounds GOP with latest unforced error MORE (R-S.C.) has become one of President Trump's most vociferous critics on the decision to withdraw U.S. troops from Syria, even as he defends the White House just as loudly over the House Democratic impeachment inquiry." http://bit.ly/33rgwxZ

Truuuuu: "Graham has flipped from Trump critic to friend throughout the president's rise to power and time in office, but never at a more dizzying pace than in the last few days."

HELPFUL LIST ON THE UKRAINE STORY:

Here's a list of each of the key players in the wake of President Trump's call with the president of Ukraine and how they fit into the controversy: http://bit.ly/2Mww50O

IN NEW HAMPSHIRE NEWS

Come for the foliage, stay for the presidential candidates:

Three months before the New Hampshire presidential primary, No Labels is hosting its Problem Solvers convention featuring presidential candidates, members of Congress and more than 1,500 voters.

When and where: Nov. 3 at the Doubletree Hotel in Manchester, N.H.

Featuring: Sen. Joe Manchin Joseph (Joe) ManchinThe debate over the filibuster entirely misses the point Trump plans to pick Amy Coney Barrett to replace Ginsburg on court Day before Trump refused to commit to peaceful transition, Aaron Sorkin described how he would write election night MORE (D-W.Va.); Reps. Josh Gottheimer Joshua (Josh) GottheimerVulnerable Democrats tell Pelosi COVID-19 compromise 'essential' Centrist House group offers bipartisan COVID-19 relief deal Hillicon Valley: Lawmakers introduce resolution condemning QAnon | US Cyber Command leader vows to 'defend forward' in protecting nation from cyberattacks MORE (D-N.J.), Tom Reed (R-N.Y.), Max Rose Max RoseLawmakers fear voter backlash over failure to reach COVID-19 relief deal The Hill's Morning Report - Sponsored by The Air Line Pilots Association - Pence lauds Harris as 'experienced debater'; Trump, Biden diverge over debate prep Navy cancels training flight over NYC on 9/11 after criticism MORE (D-N.Y.), Brian Fitzpatrick Brian K. FitzpatrickHopes for DC, Puerto Rico statehood rise Florida Democrat introduces bill to recognize Puerto Rico statehood referendum DCCC reserves new ad buys in competitive districts, adds new members to 'Red to Blue' program MORE (R-Pa.), Tom Suozzi (D-N.Y.), Dan Meuser (R-Pa.), Jeff Van Drew Jeff Van DrewThe Hill's Campaign Report: 19 years since 9/11 | Dem rival to Marjorie Taylor Greene drops out | Collin Peterson faces fight of his career | Court delivers blow to ex-felon voting rights in Florida The Hill's 12:30 Report: First Kennedy to lose a Massachusetts election Ex-Democrat Van Drew speaks at GOP convention MORE (D-N.J.), Steve Watkins Steven (Steve) Charles WatkinsEthics panel opens probe into Rep. Watkins after voter fraud charges The Hill's Campaign Report: COVID-19 puts conventions in flux The Hill's Morning Report - Presented by the Air Line Pilots Association - Virus bill unlikely to pass this week MORE (R-Kan.); former Sen. Joe Lieberman (I-Conn.); Frank Luntz; and select presidential candidates.

Details and how to RSVP: http://bit.ly/35mPQk5

SPONSORED CONTENT - USAA

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NOTABLE TWEETS

Oh mannn, I did not expect Warren to go in this direction with that question:

Make sure you watch the last 10 seconds.

Watch: http://bit.ly/2nBeJas

ON TAP

The House and Senate are out.

President Trump is in Washington, D.C., and is heading to Lake Charles, La., later today. Vice President Pence has no public events on his schedule.

1:45 p.m. EDT: President Trump meets with the champions of the Little League Baseball World Series and the Little League Softball World Series.

2:45 p.m. EDT: President Trump meets with the vice premier of China as the countries conduct a crucial round of trade talks.

4:10 p.m. EDT: President Trump leaves for Lake Charles, La.

Saturday, 12:40 p.m. EDT: President Trump gets back to the White House.

October 23: Join The Hill is hosting an event, "Innovation Runway: The Cutting Edge of Aviation." Featured speakers: Sen. Ted Cruz Rafael (Ted) Edward CruzCrenshaw looms large as Democrats look to flip Texas House seat SCOTUS confirmation in the last month of a close election? Ugly The Hill's Morning Report - Sponsored by Facebook - Trump previews SCOTUS nominee as 'totally brilliant' MORE (R-Texas), Rep. Rick Larsen Richard (Rick) Ray LarsenDemocratic lawmaker calls for stronger focus on trade leverage to raise standards The Hill's Morning Report - Presented by Facebook - Biden, Harris launch Trump offensive in first joint appearance The Hill's 12:30 Report: Biden, Harris's first day as running mates MORE (D-Wash.) and FAA Deputy Administrator Daniel Elwell. Details and how to RSVP: http://bit.ly/2pY8qi0

WHAT TO WATCH

This morning: Democratic presidential candidate Steve Bullock Steve BullockCourt removes Pendley from role as public lands chief On The Trail: Making sense of this week's polling tsunami McConnell locks down key GOP votes in Supreme Court fight MORE, the governor of Montana, spoke at the New Hampshire Institute of Politics & New England Council's "Politics & Eggs" breakfast. Livestream: https://cs.pn/2owEYiI

8 p.m. EDT: President Trump holds a campaign rally in Lake Charles, La., ahead of the state's gubernatorial election on Saturday. Livestream: https://cs.pn/2OEdH8F

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Sausage Pizza Day.

Make sure to look outside on Sunday night:

There will be a bright orange full moon on Sunday night. Details: http://bit.ly/2MuMMJP

And to get your weekend off to the right start, here are two golden retrievers who are less than enthused about their Halloween costumes: http://bit.ly/2OG9CRt