In an enormous effort to enter the modern age, Westminster and much of the sycophantic media that buoys it up appears to have progressed to the 1970s. While the rest of us are discussing rape, sexual assault and sexual harassment in every workplace following the Weinstein “revelations”, in the parallel world of politics there is talk of “sex pests”, “high jinks” and the pathetic nature of women who cannot bat away clumsy passes.

The way that senior Tories and the provisional wing of the Mens’ Rights Movement that is called the Today programme deals with all this, precisely reveals the structural nature of the problem. Michael Gove thought he could go on BBC Radio 4 and make a joke about Weinstein who, let’s not forget, has been accused of rape. Then this morning, the Today programme has Anne Robinson talking of the “fragility of the women who are unable to deal with the treachery of the workplace”.

Actually what is emerging is the incredible tenacity of many female politicians and staff who have worked in an environment in which when a woman stands up to speak, men make gestures about breasts. This has long been considered “just the way it is”. I was astonished even in 2005 to bump into David Davis, currently doing a turn as Britain’s top cheeky diplomat, walking around Tory party conference with women wearing T-shirts with “It’s DD for me” emblazoned across their chests. Hilarious?

Sexual harassment has been so acceptable that this information is known and used by party whips

When I first went to Westminster, I was told, as many female journalists were, to wear a short skirt, stand in the central lobby and catch the eye of male MPs if I wanted to get “a story”. I didn’t, nor did I understand the culture of lunching.

The archaic ways of the Palace of Westminster are well-known. Many become so institutionalised, including the embedded lobby journalists, that they are not questioned. So researchers, staff, assistants are all subject to harassment by men whose “wives don’t understand them” or with whom they don’t live most of the time. Contrary to Robinson’s position, this is not just about the “fragility” of women. Young men too are harassed by men.

‘I was astonished even in 2005 to bump into David Davis walking around Tory party conference with women wearing T-shirts with “It’s DD for me” emblazoned across their chests.’ Photograph: Martin Argles/The Guardian

The resigned air – that there will always be ambitious young people and those in power over them, rather like the film industry – is not enough of a response. Theresa May’s attempt to establish an independent mediation service following calls from John Mann and Sarah Champion is necessary. But there is already legislation against sexual harassment in the workplace, though it is incredibly hard to deal with when coming from your boss in a small office. Fears of not working again are real. But this is crunch time. More action is needed.

Indeed, the prime minister may have to sack some of her own ministers. By referring wrongdoing to the Cabinet Office, Labour has accused her of washing her hands of the affair. Surely Stephen Crabb, who sent explicit text messages to a 19-year-old who came for a interview, and the dildo collector Mark Garnier, who asked his secretary to buy sex toys, will have to go. Of course, allegations will emerge about Labour MPs too and the Liberal Democrats have their baggage that was never dealt with properly. Think of the allegations against Lord Rennard.

The lists currently circulating, the Benny Hill language in which harassment is described as “handsy with women at parties”, none of this is exactly a revelation to anyone who has been near Westminster and its bars. Indeed the opposite is true. It has been so acceptable, so much part of this environment, that this information is known and used by party whips to keep these harassers in line.

Katie Perrior, once May’s head of communications, said that this information was kept away from the prime minister but used to enforce party discipline. In other words, information about the abuse of women is used for the benefit of the party: “You will vote in a certain way or we will tell your wife what you’ve been up to.” Complicity with such abuse of power is built into this system.

For a long, long time certain men have taken such complicity for granted. But something is changing. Women are speaking out. These men are not sex “pests”, they are elected representatives exploiting their positions of power. If disrespect for women is tolerated at the heart of government, it will be tolerated everywhere. Who wants to live in such a place?

• Suzanne Moore is a Guardian columnist