Someone has found a video of Steve Jobs saying words! Quick, to the Opiniontron!

Writing for Quartz, Mike Murphy says “Steve Jobs would probably be rather upset with what Apple has become today.” (Tip o’ the antlers to Bob Copus.)

It is continually amazing how those who best knew Steve Jobs were not the ones who worked with him day in and out to build Apple into the company it’s become but instead the pundits who critique the company.

Which, duh, right? Seems so obvious now that it’s in front of our faces but somehow it seemed counter-intuitive before.

…the company released a new iPhone that looked much like the last two it put out…

It doesn’t matter if it has new “features”, what matters is it kinda looks the same as the previous version.

Note that this is considered a plus for Apple’s competitors. “Looks just like an iPhone!”

…and its other notable innovations of late have been making its products in different sizes and unleashing a sea of dongles on the world.

Steve Jobs never ditched old technology in favor of new despite the fact that it would create temporary inconvenience.

Well…

Uh…

In an old interview that’s making the rounds online today, former CEO Steve Jobs explained, in his mind why companies like Xerox, a company that once had one of the most innovative research labs in the world, failed.

Ooh, look! A video of Steve Jobs saying stuff! Let’s see if we can use it to hit Apple over the head! Which, admittedly, is what we try to use everything for.

That time we tried to hit them over the head with pudding was a real mess.

“If you were a product person, you couldn’t change the course of that company very much,” Jobs said. “So who influenced the success of PepsiCo? The sales and marketing people…

Does anyone really think for even a second that sales and marketing at Apple drove the decision to remove the headphone jack?

“When you have a monopoly market share, the company’s not any more successful.” … Apple doesn’t technically have a monopoly on smartphones or laptop computers or the other categories of products it produces. But…

But laser kittens are eating my undershorts.

Apple is the only company that is failing because it has a laughably small market share compared to its competitors but, eh, they’re also kind of a monopoly because mumble mumble, honk-honk, seltzer spray, throws down smoke grenade and escapes.

When you have to stretch Jobs’s words so far to get this around Apple, it’s like grabbing a Sharpie and adding your own globs to a Rorschach test.

“There. Now it looks like a bunny. A bunny that hates Apple.”

…its notoriously rapturous marketing-speak about upgrades that merely bring its products up to par with competitors is wearing thin with its critics.

Uh-huh. Well, except in the explosion department and the looks-like-an-iPhone-but-isn’t-water-resistant department.

Truth is, we don’t know what Apple would be like right now if Steve Jobs were still alive and running the company. It experienced some downturns under his watch as well. We do know that he told the people he worked with not to worry about what he’d do. It’s a shame pundits don’t take that to heart, too.