The Fucking Machine

The tune is "Old Hundred." This is often used as just a recitation.



A sailor told me before he died—

I know not whether the bastard lied—

He had a wife with a twat so wide

That she could never be satisfied.

So he fashioned out a big fucking wheel,

Attached it to a big prick of steel,

Made two balls and filled them with cream,

And the whole fucking thing was run by steam.

'Round and 'round went the big fucking wheel,

In and out went the big prick of steel.

'Til at last the maiden cried,

"Enough, enough. I'm satisfied."

But here is a case of the biter bit:

There was no way of stopping it.

The maiden was torn from twat to teat,

And the whole fucking thing went up in shit.