Challenge the idea that when we are stuck at home we are not changing. We are changing from day to day. And birthdays can be a vessel to help someone remember that. If you’re wanting to be more of a reader, perhaps use your birthday to invite people to read a book together aloud for 14 hours together. (Ridiculous, I know.)

If you’re practicing being more vulnerable and open in your friendships, invite six friends to a digital dinner, maybe on Zoom, and share with each of them why you love them. If you’re trying to be open to new experiences, invite your friends to join a virtual sound bath.

Design your own transition ritual.

So, you’re having a birthday. Think about this birthday as a physical line you’re crossing. Imagine you could take three things with you but also you were invited to relinquish three things. What are the three qualities or beliefs or images that you would want to carry with you? What would be three things that you would be ready to let go of?

Ritual doesn’t need a group or a collective. But when we do a ritual in front of others, it can carry more weight, because you’re acknowledging that it’s happening. Witnesses matter. And these participants are part of making that crossing happen through that witnessing — and into the future, helping make the change permanent.

Is this an open house? Or a seated dinner party?

Think through what people need to do to prepare or bring. Should people be prompt? Does the door close at a certain moment? Or can they come and go at different times. Communicate in advance to your guests so they know what to expect.