VANCOUVER – This morning, the Emily Carr University of Art and Design announced that its main campus will be shuttering over the summer for a large-scale deconstruction project.

“It’s been decades since the buildings have been critically evaluated by like-minded peers based on their aesthetics, colour pallets, mouthfeel and artistic intent,” said Dr. Ron Burnett in a brief statement, “We intend to take this time to really examine what the buildings mean to us, how they hold a mirror up to our inner demons, and what they say about the psychosexual condition.”

Some students are disgruntled by the limited access they will have to campus once the deconstruction crews break (new) ground.

Said one student, “The walkway to the library was blocked for the entire month of March as deconstruction crews unpacked its significance.”

“And I keep tripping over stakes like ‘What role does colonialism play on our campus’ and ‘Is this architecture oppressive?’”

There is no word yet on the final cost of the project, but faculty members have suggested that the costs will be “heavy, emotional, and deeply, deeply personal.”