But where were we? Ah, yes. Men cannot do abstinence.

During the lesson, Nina uses PowerPoint slides to list out the positive and negative impacts of migration. The positives seem real, tangible: higher pay, greater financial stability, and the opportunity to learn more about a foreign country or culture.

In comparison, the negatives feel floaty and insubstantial: feelings of loneliness, isolation, and resentment amongst family members.

Yet these feelings are very real. Nina tells me that many foreign domestic workers are mothers, but their absence from the home leads to numerous problems—not the least of which is the heavy toll it takes on their marriages; hence the immortal turn of phrase mentioned above (I make no claims as to the accuracy of the statement).

In Nina’s opinion, the main factor contributing to the debt situation of foreign domestic workers is a lack of financial education. Foreign domestic workers want to splurge on their families, and so they willingly remit a large portion of their allowance on special occasions, like their relatives’ birthdays.

Additionally, she says, many domestic workers also connect to their Filipino families through social media. As is the case for many people, domestic workers tend to make posts that glamorise their lives in Singapore (about food, fashion, friends), and their families watching at home want in.

For example, if a domestic worker’s son were to complain about having an older model of handphone than his schoolmates, she may take out a loan in Singapore and remit it to her family in the Philippines so that he can buy said phone.

“They never notice what they spend,” Nina says, voicing an exasperation borne of years spent teaching financial literacy, “Never think, 30 or 40 dollars, that is a thousand peso! In the Philippines, that’s 25 kilos of rice that you can eat!”

“Sometimes,” continues Nina, “The workers complain, “Why my family keep asking [for money]?” The families do not know, that’s why. You have to tell them, show them the real thing: how dirty when you clean the toilet bowl, how high is the pile of ironing … explain to the family that this is the life.”