You would think that after having sex, I would be a little bit smarter, but I’m not and in fact, the older I get, the more I realize I don’t know. So my suggestion is not to ask me questions, particularly these:

Will the DVDASA show return?

I don’t know. People think I’m withholding information but in reality, I am not. Let me just tell you the hierarchy of information dissemination in David’s world. David > BobbyTrivia > Critter > Asa > David’s parents > David Chang > girls David has fucked > strippers that David has fucked > Vice magazine > Aubrey Plaza > Scrotum coat > Val > hookers that David has fucked > Stevie Weebee > Bill. See where I am, I’m not annoyed but the next time you want to ask that question, look at the org chart because I’m pretty sure you could get a better answer from someone up the pole.



Where are the locations of Critter’s Cross Country Cash Contest.

The clues go back before I even started on the show so asking me anything is like asking Marcel the monkey what was Rachel’s first job. Also, its called “Critter’s…” Not “whore transporters…”

When is an art show not an art show?

When its a video installation so I’m standing like an idiot for 5 minutes until I realize that the video is on a 1 minute playback loop. This would have been a great show if you were high on acid and letting the streams of color melt through your hair and down your body. Fortunately Alex had an interesting piece that belies more than the *beep beep boo bop* he use to do on the DVDASA show. I tried to congratulate him but he was busy looking debonair in his new suit while getting his mack on with a pretty blonde.

Breakups

Why do people who have their heartbroken bring everyone down to their misery for an hour or two and than 6 months later after their heart has healed, completely forget about you. Hey, you think I like listening to you wallow about him/her but when we bump into each other years later, you can’t give me the time of day.

Why do fools fall in love

Because we’re idiots. Everyone of us. Idiots.