Here, let's cut it down into pieces that are easier to swallow. Your dating profile isn't working because ...

So you've set up your online dating profile, answered 66,000 of those ancillary compatibility questions, and received exactly zero messages from others -- so what's the deal?! Why is no one attracted to you?

5 You Want Something from a Romantic Partner You Should Be Getting Somewhere Else

"What are you looking for?" asks the dating form.

"Let's see ... I'm gonna need someone who's gonna rescue me from my-"

"AAAND YOU'RE FUCKED!"

That was quick, and it was quick because the first thing you want from a relationship is something you should be getting from anywhere other than a nice stranger who's willing to eat a meal with you. You want to have more self-esteem? You'd better get it from achieving something in life, because that's not the job of your future partner. You need someone to hover around you in the ready position because (emotionally speaking) you are a very brittle (though sexy) vase on top of a very high display? That's more a job for the professionals (psychiatrist, not escort). You see the mile markers in life as education, career, relationship, and family, but just because you can sleepwalk your way through the first two doesn't mean you're automatically ready for the rest.