Are you one of those people who yearns to have a picture-perfect career, home, and marriage? If so, chances are you have a loud inner critic that has convinced you to set unrealistic goals for yourself and others. You might struggle with making mistakes, and think in terms of extremes. You might also get easily depressed by your unmet goals. Perhaps, you tend to be obsessive and analytical because you can’t stand anything less than perfect. If you can relate to any of these patterns, chances are you might grapple with perfectionism from time to time.





Why you struggle with perfectionism?

Brene Brown describes perfectionism as wearing a 20-ton shield that you lug around, thinking that it will protect you, when, in fact, it’s really preventing you from being seen and taking flight.

The obsessive need to get everything just PERFECT stems from your inability to handle your challenging feelings of pain, discomfort, or even, rejection.

Brene says that “Perfectionism is not about striving for excellence or healthy striving. It’s a way of thinking and feeling that says this: If I look perfect, work perfect, and live perfect, I can avoid or minimize shame, blame, and judgment.”

The downside of perfectionism

At the most fundamental level, perfectionism saps your vitality and creativity. It stops you from living your best life. Because living your dreams and your calling could lead to a potential failure; which a perfectionist mind is not equipped to deal with.

I struggled with perfectionism all my life, and thankfully, found a way to break away from this mindset.





Here are my top 7 recommendations to overcome perfectionism, easily and, effortlessly:





Suggestion #1 – Allow yourself to feel your feelings

Think of perfectionism as a coping mechanism to evade challenging emotions of fear, uncertainty, anger, sadness, shame, guilt, and the likes. As a perfectionist, you might run away from challenging emotions because they don't appear perfect. Labeling moments as perfect or imperfect will keep you stuck in a vicious loop of perfectionism.

The best way to heal emotions is to allow yourself to feel them. Like they say, ‘If you can feel it, you can heal it.”

There will be times when people will disappoint you, and times where you will disappoint yourself. That’s quite alright. It’s all part of being a human. Commit to living a real (and not a perfect life). A real-life is messy, chaotic, and beautiful, and it makes you experience all range of emotions.

Suggestion #2 – Say hello to a life of experiments

A perfectionist mind is designed to protect itself from any potential pain or failure. However, when you tell your perfectionist mind that you will try out something new for only 30 days as an ‘experiment,’ chances are you might face less resistance.

In my own experience, a 30/60/90 days experiments can do WONDERS to get a mind unstuck from the tight hold of perfectionist tendencies. Depending on your level of fear, and perfectionism and what you want to master – set out experiments for yourself that take you out of your comfort zone.

As an example, take on a 30-day experiment to intentionally embarrass yourself. Sounds silly, I know. But I assure you that it will do wonders to help you overcome perfectionism.

Suggestion #3 – Always focus on taking baby steps

Your perfectionist mind’s primary goal is to keep you safe and protected from any potential disappointment or ridicule that could come your way. If it sniffs even an iota of potential shame or judgment, it will do everything in its power to convince you not to try out new projects.

That’s why if you take on too much too soon, it will overwhelm your system and shut you down. An example of taking baby steps would be - say you want to learn to make videos, start with 30-second videos, then move to one minute and so on.





Suggestion #4 – Commit to Inner Child Healing

Perfectionist tendencies get formed in early childhood. Chances are as a little person you didn’t know how to deal with your challenging emotions, and you took to perfectionism as a coping mechanism. The aspect of you that felt hurt or unheard in your childhood needs to be healed. How? By giving yourself permission to feel.

If you are someone who has never permitted yourself to feel your emotions, then journaling and meditation are both excellent tools to get you started. Your willingness to explore your feelings is half the work done and will propel you into a journey of wholeness and healing.

Suggestion #5 – Dare to make imperfect art

Art is one of the best ways to bypass an obsessively, overthinking perfectionist mind. Pick an art form that you love. Create for the sheer joy of creation, and next share your masterpiece with the world (even if under a fake name or a fake account). It doesn’t matter what medium you choose to express your creativity.

A few months ago, I started posting my super imperfect (think grade 3 art) on Social Media and was shocked that there were people in the world who liked it. My perfectionist mind flipped when that happened because it couldn’t fathom how anyone could give a thumbs-up to my imperfect art! This experience taught me to accept imperfections – first in my imperfect art, and then in myself.

Perhaps, what makes you or your art imperfect is also what makes you beautiful and unique.





Suggestion #6 – Cultivate a mindset of serving and helping others

One of the most potent ways to overcome the perfectionist streak is to serve and add value to other people’s lives. When you are focused on serving others, the spotlight is no longer on you. Your inner critic won't feel incessantly loud because your focus is on making a difference, rather than being perfect. And even when you make mistakes, you will find it easier to let go and forgive yourself (a huge challenge for a perfectionist mind).

In my own experience, the more I tapped into the feelings of serving others, the more I could let go of my perfectionist tendencies. My mind no longer shut down in brand-new circumstances. I could act in unknown situations and still maintain inner balance.

Suggestion #7 – Embrace these three mindset shifts:

Choose to view life from a place of Wonder. Make the phrase “ I Wonder” your best friend. When you think/speak/act from a place of Wonder, you allow yourself to stay connected to what’s possible. It’s like telling a part of yourself, let’s try this (experiment/ adventure/ project), and let’s see where it takes us.

When you think/speak/act from a place of Wonder, you allow yourself to stay connected to what’s possible. It’s like telling a part of yourself, let’s try this (experiment/ adventure/ project), and let’s see where it takes us. Lean on Humility. This virtue will keep your perfectionist mind in check. Further, it will help you appreciate the brilliance in other people’s work and allow you to accept where you are in your journey.

This virtue will keep your perfectionist mind in check. Further, it will help you appreciate the brilliance in other people’s work and allow you to accept where you are in your journey. And finally, know that you don’t have to be perfect to be loved. Many perfectionists equate perfection with love, and this negative thinking damages their self-esteem. Sincere, genuine love will never demand perfection from you; if it does, it’s probably not the real deal.





In conclusion,

Rachel Hollis says, “Can you be humble enough to suck for as long as it takes to get better?” This quote couldn’t be more befitting for a perfectionist mindset that often wants to get everything perfect in one shot. Allow yourself to be humble, to be human, and stay Real to overcome perfectionism.

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A few months back, I published my first book on ‘Overcoming Fear and Failure – A guide for people with Overthink and Overanalyze.’ It’s an absolute must-read for anyone stopped by fears or failures in their life, career, or relationships. Please make sure to check it out here.