Samantha Banducci came from a loving home, but she was a rebellious teen. She would sneak out of her parents’ house to hang out with friends or go to weekend parties without their knowledge. One night, she snuck out to attend a house party, where she was date-raped by multiple young men and became pregnant.

Her parents didn’t find out about the rape and pregnancy until three months later. They supported her decision to keep her baby, but many of her friends distanced themselves and she heard derogatory comments when she was out in public. She felt alone, isolated and ashamed. However, one male friend was empathetic. He complimented her, defended her from criticism and became her boyfriend.

After her son was born, she chafed at her parents’ rules and moved into an apartment with her boyfriend. He paid the rent, showered her with praise, and encouraged her to share her hopes and dreams with him.

“He was like my knight in shining armour. He was super sweet at first and took care of all my needs and my son’s needs,” Banducci, now 28, says. “I wanted more children and a house on the lake, and he seemed to have the same interests.”

But then his personality changed. He had outbursts that made Banducci feel she was doing everything wrong. He would explode at her for not doing her part financially.

“He became more and more angry with me about him always being the one who provided and said I needed to do my part,” Banducci says.

When he suggested she earn money by becoming a sex worker, she felt pressured and reluctantly agreed.

“I was convinced the sex trade was something it was not and that it would bring us back to the honeymoon stage so we’d be on good terms again.”

She continued to have a relationship with her parents but lied about what was going on in her life. Her boyfriend introduced her to a female third-party facilitator who handled advertising, booking and payments. The money Banducci earned went directly to her boyfriend.

She had become a victim of human trafficking but didn’t realize this until years after she had escaped the relationship and was volunteering for Victim Services of Durham Region.

Her mother, Lynda Harlos, had no idea what Banducci had been through until a few months ago. Harlos, who is a family coach and parenting blogger in Courtice, started researching human trafficking after a friend suggested it might make a good blog post.

She mentioned the topic to her daughter, as she knew she was volunteering at Victim Services. That’s when Banducci shared her story.

“I was stunned,” says Harlos, who had assumed sex trafficking was committed by strangers. “We are a regular suburban family, faith-based, very involved in our kids’ lives, yet this still happened to us.”

She never suspected her daughter could get involved in the trade.

“It’s not typically like movies that show kids being kidnapped, thrown in a van, confined to a room and sold. It’s kids being sold a dream and they often get involved while still living at home.”

While Harlos didn’t like Banducci’s boyfriend at the time, he was close to her daughter’s age. His aggression was the only red flag she noticed.

“As she wasn’t living with us, it was hard to see many,” Harlos says.

She certainly never dreamed he had recruited Banducci into the sex trade.

Banducci says the perception that recruiters are older than their victims is a common misconception. Most are between the ages of 14 and 24, so the relationship looks like a typical boyfriend-girlfriend situation. While boys are recruited to be sex workers, the vast majority are girls, according to Statistics Canada.

“Many (recruiters) aren’t physically abusive, as they don’t want to damage the product,” Banducci says.

First comes the luring. In her case, it was her boyfriend showering her with praise and pretending he shared her dreams. Next came the grooming/gaming phase, when he praised her for being a good sex partner and gave her gifts and money as a reward for sex. This was followed by the anger and pressure to have sex with paying clients so they could achieve “their” goals.

“He’d say, ‘I know you want a house and more kids, and we could do it if you do this for a short time as you could make a lot of money,’” Banducci says. “He said we were in a relationship and that we were a team, but I needed to contribute.”

Banducci was told by the female facilitator that she could set her own hours and wouldn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to. Neither was true.

The first time she met a client, she was terrified. He made a request she was uncomfortable with and she sent him away. Her facilitator was understanding that time, but soon Banducci was meeting men in hotel rooms, other people’s houses and an apartment owned by the facilitator.

If she rejected clients’ requests and turned them away, she wouldn’t be paid for work she’d already done, or wouldn’t be allowed to work for two weeks, which she feared would anger her boyfriend. All of the money went to her boyfriend, who gave her small amounts if she asked.

“I’ve since learned there are four factors that determine whether a situation is human trafficking,” Banducci says. “Force, fraud, coercion and facilitation by a third party.”

All four applied in her case.

The situation went on for four months until her boyfriend’s controlling ways and anger became unbearable. Banducci left him, then the sex trade. She found an apartment, and family, friends and social services helped her until she was able to get on her feet.

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Today, she’s happily married and working toward a career in the police service. Her goal is to be placed in the human trafficking unit. She feels fortunate to have escaped that lifestyle and acknowledges that not all situations end as well.

“I had a supportive family and good friends who lent me money and helped me,” Banducci says. “For a lot of girls, the traffickers are their support system. All a trafficker has to do is find the one thing missing in a victim’s life and they’ll play to that vulnerability.”

Although Banducci came from a stable home, she was often in conflict with her parents. After her rape and pregnancy, her self-esteem was low. When she was being trafficked, her parents were preoccupied with other serious family issues. As well, Banducci was no longer living under their roof and not revealing much about her life.

While Harlos is now aware of the warning signs that someone is being trafficked, she and her daughter say it can be hard to distinguish between what is normal teen behaviour and what isn’t.

“A big sign is if a parent finds hotel room key cards in their child’s backpack or purse,” Harlos says. “If they have bought new lingerie, have a new group of friends or a new boyfriend, or their interests change, those could also be indications. It’s a very grey area.”

Carly Kalish, executive director of Victim Services of Durham Region, says human trafficking “is a crisis in Durham Region.” She has recently doubled her stats.

Kalish says there are two types of risk factors: individual and systemic. Individual risk factors may include low self-esteem, a lack of self-worth, issues with parents or school, and abuse. Systemic risk factors are living in poverty, in proximity to high crime areas, having a language barrier or being racialized.

Harlos and Banducci were guest speakers at an event, “Human Trafficking: Parents and Prevention,” held by Victim Services, in partnership with the Durham Regional Police Service, in June. Banducci also speaks at high schools, and she and her mother have shot a video for Harlos’s website parentwithpurpose.ca talking about their experience.

Through resources such as Victim Services, Banducci has been able to heal emotionally.

“Once I realized I had been trafficked, I was no longer angry with myself. I had believed it was something I had chosen to do and I hated myself for years,” Banducci says. “When I realized the truth, the hate, anger and embarrassment I felt vanished.”

She admits there are days when she has unpleasant flashbacks; applying makeup can bring back thoughts of preparing to meet a male client.

“I do a lot of self-care,” she says, adding using her experiences to help others gives her strength.

“I have become determined to help other girls become aware of what’s going on, what to look for and to hopefully help those who are already in that life find a way out,” Banducci says. “I know how hard it can be, but there is a lot of help out there. Victim Services is amazing and will help you get out and give you shelter, food and support.”

Correction: Aug. 30, 2019: This article was updated to correct and clarify statements made by Carly Kalish, executive director of Victim Services of Durham Region. In fact, she did not refer to a doubling of her staff; she said her stats had doubled.

Human trafficking: the facts

The vast majority of human-trafficking victims in Canada are women and girls younger than 25, according to a 2018 Statistics Canada report. Most people charged with human-trafficking crimes are males aged 18 to 35.

There is limited data that can be relied upon to fully describe and understand the problem.

In 2014, Toronto police laid 365 charges related to human trafficking and there were 33 victims. In 2018, they laid 2,140 charges and there were 250 victims.