TROY — It had been six months since Susan experienced what she describes as a rape that occurred during a fraternity party at Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute in the fall of 2016, and the trauma hadn't faded. To the contrary, it was continuing to wear her down.

Despite her copious academic scholarships and her success on campus before the incident, she was in danger of flunking out.

"I was so depressed that I was missing classes. I would sleep until 2 or 3 in the afternoon and go to bed at 9 o'clock," said Susan. (It is not her real name; the Times Union does not generally reveal the identity of victims of sexual assault.)

Finally, her boyfriend convinced her to file a complaint with the school's Title IX office.

The school's handling of her allegations provides a troubling window into the issue of sexual assault on college campuses. Her account also comes to light after months of controversy at RPI over the school's attempts to rein in the Greek system — a strategy that Susan, despite her claim that she was assaulted during a party in one of the school's larger fraternities, sees as misguided.

Susan remains a stalwart supporter of Greek life at RPI, which she believes provides a needed social outlet for students straining under a heavy academic workload.

Yet the details of what happened that night remain seared in her memory. The tapestry over her attacker's bed and the lights strung around the room. The way she fled downstairs to the party after what she describes as a consensual encounter that turned into an attack. The long, panicked walk back to a friend's dorm for a shower, then sitting like a statue in a beanbag chair with a blanket draped over her. The pearl earring and lipstick that she never recovered.

And from after she filed her complaint: the nagging sense that fellow students were glaring at her, angered over what her charges might do to the fraternity.

Susan's story was recounted in interviews with the Times Union and contained in the transcript of a meeting she had with college officials after filing her complaint.

It started during a typical fraternity party in September 2016, which the 18-year-old freshman — a Midwesterner planning to study computer science — attended with what she termed a "platoon" of girlfriends, according to the transcript.

That night, she was designated as the group's "sober friend" — not for driving, since they were walking, but in case anyone became too drunk or suffered another problem.

While mingling in the fraternity's main party area, her assailant "grabbed my butt," she told RPI officials. Despite this behavior, she found him attractive and they went upstairs to his room.

They started kissing, getting "handsy" and engaging in other consensual activities, including oral sex.

But soon after, Susan said her attacker forced himself on her.

"He pulled me up and then flipped me on my back. ... And so he started to, started to have sex with me," she said, according to the transcript.

"At some point I kind of like pushed him off a little bit. It was like, I'm done, I'm done, I'm done. And I went down, like jumped out of his loft bed. And I kind of twisted my ankle a little bit. Grabbed my shoes, and that's when I ran out of his room and I ran down the stairs."

She was frantically looking for a friend of hers who was one of the fraternity's "pledges," or recently recruited members who had been downstairs during the attack. When she found him an explained what happened, he told her to calm down: "You're fine — you're just drunk," she remembered him telling her.

"And I'm like, 'I'm not,'" she told school officials.

"I was so sad," Susan continued. "And then I ended up sprinting out of the house, because the door was right there. And I just kind of just forgot about my friends at that point. And ran into the street."

"Then one of the other (frat) brothers I guess saw me from behind or saw me run out of the house. .... He grabbed me from behind and like pulled me out of the street. And when he picked me up ... he was like manhandling me just to get me out of the street. And I was kicking and I was screaming like, 'I won't say anything, put me down, nothing happened. I'm not drunk. Please just let me go. I'm not going to say anything. I'm not going to get your frat kicked off campus.'"

Soon after the incident, she says the subtle pressure started. She received Facebook messages from other fraternity members that ranged from "We just want to make sure you're OK. Try to keep it low-key," to "We want to vouch for him — like we don't think he's a bad kid."

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The outreach caused her to second-guess herself.

"It's a very big stigma," she said during her interview with RPI officials. "I mean, it's very intimidating to come forward when all you have is people (saying), like, you don't want to be that girl, you don't want to be this. You probably won't win your case. Or, these cases drag on. ... You don't want to be that girl that shuts down a house."

Susan went to RPI's Title IX office and filed her complaint in March 2017. The low-level harassment continued, she said. She recalled seeing her attacker during a rush event at the Saratoga Race Course later that summer. Some of his friends gave her dirty looks, she said.

By September 2017 — a year after the incident — her father convinced her to file a report with Troy police. It was something school officials had counseled her against, she told the Times Unions.

RPI spokeswoman Richie Hunter said that while she could not comment on an individual case, "Each student who makes a report to Rensselaer is informed that they have the right to report the incident to local law enforcement or New York state police."

Students making complaints are also assigned confidential advisers, which was the case here, said Susan.

Police took the complaint, but told Susan it would be a hard case to prosecute, especially given the time that had elapsed. Shortly after, though, she told police she didn't want to press charges.

In October 2017, Susan received a letter from RPI's interim vice president for student life, LeNorman Strong, telling her that her attacker had been found to have violated the school's student sexual misconduct policy. "The respondent has informed Rensselaer he agrees with the determination of the Institute," read part of the findings.

The letter provided no more detail on what specific actions — the alleged groping downstairs, or what had occurred in the bedroom — had violated the policy. Because he agreed with the finding, there was no formal hearing.

He was suspended for the 2017-18 academic school year and barred from the campus for a year. The incident was also noted on his transcript. The accused student couldn't be reached for comment.

By the time of the determination, Susan had left RPI and was enrolled in another Capital Region school. She later decided to leave the region: Without the scholarships and aid she had arranged at RPI, continuing her education here wasn't affordable.

Because Susan is no longer enrolled, the school won't tell her if her alleged attacker is coming back in the fall. She's now back home in the Midwest, considering her other college options. She's looking at taking courses online to start.

Hunter said the school's policy aims "to ensure that our living and learning environments are free from all forms of harassment, discrimination, or retaliation for all of our faculty, staff, and students. The Institute takes any allegation of harassment, discrimination, or sexual misconduct seriously."

Others say Susan's case is emblematic of what they view as the poor handling of simple assaults and other problems at RPI.

"Whether it's sexual assault or depression, they just didn't have the support system," said Kevin Dai, a 2014 graduate who was RPI's grand marshal — akin to student body leader — during his junior year.

Dai is among the numerous alumni who have spoken out against the recent crackdown on fraternities as well as other developments at the school.

"At the end of the day, students don't feel comfortable reporting these issues, but it's the school's responsibility to create an atmosphere where they can report," he said.

RPI is in the midst of a sweeping review of Greek life at the school.

Citing a series of problems including alcohol and drug abuse as well as sexual misconduct, RPI President Shirley Ann Jackson in June announced a "stand-down" in which the school was going to halt recruiting or rush activities for the Greek houses, which is vital to organizations' getting new classes of students each year.

That prompted an outcry by students and alumni, which led the school to modify its stance.

For now, Greek recruiting is on hold until Oct. 18, more than a month later than the usual start at the end of August. Additionally, the school has established a special task force to assess Greek life.

Fraternities and sororities play a relatively large role in campus life at RPI, with more than 20 percent of students enrolled in a Greek organization. They also provide needed housing as well as social outlets for students. There are 29 fraternities and five sororities at the school, where male students outnumber female students more than two to one.

Overall, Susan's account painted a picture of a campus where students study like crazy – often without adequate sleep – during the week, and party vigorously on weekends: a work-hard, play-hard ethos fueled by alcohol.

The flip side, some say, is a culture of silence and peer pressure that can conspire to cover up genuine sexual assaults, hazing and other forms of abuse committed by students on students.

But Dai said his sense was that "it's individuals, but not organizations. ... They could be Greeks, they could be non-Greeks. The real problem is the school doesn't hold these individuals accountable."

Like Dai, Susan continues to support Greek life, but said people should know what really goes on.

"They should know that this is happening," she said. "Everybody realizes this is a problem, but you don't know how close to home it is."

rkarlin@timesunion.com 518 454 5758 @rkarlin@timesunion.com