Hedonism got way out of a hand when the internet came along and the sex toy market exploded like, well, a bukkake video. Where once it was simple shoulder massagers and turkey basters that had to be adapted to nefarious purposes, nowadays anything you can think of (and probably a few dozen things you could never think of) are out there to give some lonely shut-in the pleasure they can't get from molesting a damp slice of bread. Things like these ... Advertisement

25 Pig Tail Butt Plug Continue Reading Below Advertisement This thing actually exists and as such, we feel soiled. And at most, 5 percent turned on, but that's pushing it. Fun Website Quote: "Make 'em squeal loud and hard with their new black pig tail butt plug! It doesn't get much more humiliating than this."

24 Area 51 Love Doll

Source. The inflatable doll market is saturated with all manner of nearly identical, buoyant and boring rubbery women. However, every so often a visionary appears to make a new and exciting love doll, the kind that renews our passion for the loneliest, most pathetic form of self gratification known to man. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Fun Website Quote: "Its pussy-shaped mouth, 3 supple breasts, suction cup fingers and ass-shaped ears make it the kinkiest love slave in the galaxy."

23 Hooded Spandex Full Body Binder Sack We're not saying we know everything there is to know about sex, though we have spent a lot of time, uh, reading about it. But in none of our experience have we happened upon a case when bagging someone up like a Christmas tree on its way to the dump was a way to initiate coitus. Continue Reading Below Advertisement Fun Website Quote: "This total body sack is so comfortable, I could spend an entire night in it."