You guys, I just have so many ideas for comedy TV shows I don’t know which one to pick for my submission to NBC’s Comedy Playground. Vote for your favorite and help me out!

BARistas!

Coffee shop by day, Bar by night. Follow the crazy antics of a bunch of super-hip barista/bartenders in an ultra-trendy Brooklyn neighborhood hangout. They’re pretty much all artists in their mid to late to late-late (30’s alert!) twenties who are too smart and cool and hip to get a job in an office or some shit that cramps their style.

Second Chances

Back in the 90’s R&B pop-duo Slyder (I’m not married to this name) was on top of the world, until it was uncovered they were liars who were lip-synching fakers. Their lives fell apart because they sucked at singing, and the real singers couldn’t “make it in the biz” cause they were dick ugly. Now it’s the two thousands and nobody gives a fuck about all that mess, so they’re back on the scene for a second chance. Chance and Chance are back as the lip-synching pretty faces of the group while Chance and Chance are the ugly hidden trolls with golden voices. Pay no attention to the men behind the curtain — or do! Everybody deserves a second Chance.

Bro-Home

A buncha bros livin’ together under one roof. They’re not really ones for “cleaning” if ya’ know what I mean. One time, they were having a party and didn’t have a couch, so they made one out of old pizza boxes. The Bro-Home is definitely a nice place to party, but you wouldn’t want to live there (unless you love the smell of farts — which, personally, I do!)

Tood Fruck

Pretty much the exact same thing as BARistas! but this one’s in a food truck.

The Hou$e Alway$ Win$

A rag-tag group of small-time, bumbling crooks get jobs at a casino as a way to stake out the joint for a big heist. The thing is, they aren’t very good at being crooks and they keep flubbing things up and have to keep their day jobs at the casino.

Separation Anxiety

Marty Jenkins is a 25-year-old wunderkind lawyer on the fast track for success when he finds out his parents have been keeping something from him for his entire life. Marty was separated at birth from his twin brother! His conjoined-twin brother! Also, his conjoined twin brother died in the separation operation so Marty’s still pretty much the same guy except sometimes he wonders what it would have been like if he didn’t hog all the working parts of their liver for himself and enter the world as a brother murderer.

Goofus and Gallant – The TV Show

A live-action adaptation of the Highlights Magazine characters.

Because I’m Your Father and I Say So

Traditional three-camera family sitcom about an average dad with a job as a salesman, his too-pretty-and-smart-for-him wife, and three children (the smart one, the smart-ass, and the weird one.) Except in the series finale it’s revealed that the father was a serial killer the entire time, and now the viewing audience has to re-watch the entire series looking for clues that we expertly placed along the way. Also “Because I’m your father, and I say so!” can be the main character’s catchphrase.

Everybody Hates Dick

It’s like that show Everybody Hates Chris, but instead of a fictionalized version of the young life of comedian Chris Rock it’s a fictionalized version of the young life of the 37th President of the United States of America, Richard Milhous Nixon.

The Freaks Come in at Night

This is the story of a suburban 24-hour diner and their overnight staff, and the weirdo nightshift workers who congregate there in the middle of every night on their “lunch” break. We’ve got the spooky funeral home director, the wacked-out Taxi driver, the aging-jock-who-never-made-it-and-is-now-bitter-and-sad-factory-worker, the aging-jock-who-never-made-it-and-is-now-bitter-and-sad-cop, the waitress from a different suburban 24-hour diner. They may have their differences, but they all hate the gang of drunk douchebags who come in after the bars close. Hey, hey the gang’s all here!

This is Beat

Chad Daniels is a beat reporter with the beatest beat at his city’s paper. His life is mundane and boring…until he decides to start fabricating stories! Chad’s stories creep from the back page to the front, and his weekly feature pieces garner lots of attention. But lies beget more lies so Chad needs to ramp up the action just to feel alive. Pretty soon he resorts to pulling full-on elaborate stunts to bring realism to his stories. Watch as Chad falls further down the rabbit hole to stay off the radar of his pesky editor.

Get Out of My House

The Johnson family lives in a haunted house, which is a real problem for them. The thing is, the Johnson family ARE the ghosts, and the story is told from their perspective! You see, what I’m trying to say is that to ghosts, the humans are the ghosts. Does that make sense? Like, we hate it when ghosts are in our house, but really, aren’t we really the ones in their house. Think about it. Also, they’re ghosts because Mrs. Johnson killed her family in a big murder/suicide so that’s a joke we can keep calling back.

Now that you’ve heard my ideas you can vote! I’ll pitch whichever one wins to NBC!