Every week, I’m going to rank the players based on their impact in the episode. These rankings are going to be completely subjective (so please don’t spend too much time critiquing them) based on my feelings of how entertaining the characters were, how they did competitively/politically, and how the episode impacted their overall game.

I’m going to keep running totals to determine who has the best season on War of the Worlds 2. The winner of this prestigious championship will be awarded the grand prize of nothing.

Let’s get to it.

RANKINGS

24–23. Para- I wouldn’t care if this week Cara and Paulie had won the challenge by themselves, they have to be last place this week after faking a breakup. This is fucking embarrassing. I wish Cara really had broken up with Paulie because the old Cara would have never done fame-whoring bullshit like this.

22. Idris- The Subtitle King hasn’t even lived up to the only thing he’s known for in the last two episodes. This was the second week in a row Idris didn’t get a confessional, and without a confessional there weren’t any opportunities to have anything subtitled after starting the season on a five-episode streak.

Not only did Idris not get a subtitle, but he had Rogan give a subtitled statement to him during the deliberation.

You’re just gonna let Rogan show you up like that, Idris?

Well guess what, your status as Subtitle King is hereby revoked. You are now the Subtitle Prince. If this trend continues, Idris will be known as the Subtitle Peasant by the end of the season.

21. Esther- The only interesting thing about Esther so far this season will be seeing next week (assuming the UK loses) if Rogan’s alliance will sacrifice one of their numbers in Esther to make the team stronger, or if they will continue to target either Jenny or Georgia.

20. Jenny- After a strong performance last week, Jenny went back to being a background character this episode.

19. Theo- He saw his best mate go out this episode, and now him and Kyle are at the bottom of the Team UK guys totem pole.

18. Josh- He’s still on the outside looking in for Georgia’s heart, but with Bear going home maybe he can make it happen with her. I’m not getting my hopes up.

17. Kam- We really didn’t see much of anything from Kam this episode other than her talking about how much she doesn’t like Jordan.

16. Dee- She was pretty much only shown supporting Rogan before the elimination and talking to CT about the political game.

15. Leroy- He continued to take a leadership role on Team US, but it was back to being a background character for Leroy after being number one in my rankings last week.

14. Ashley- She continues to stay under the radar on Team US, and has somehow made herself into one of the most well-liked people on the team.

13. Kayleigh- Although she hasn’t been shown much this season, Kayleigh has subtly played a strong political game.

12. Nany- She had a couple of scenes this week with Turbo. It was nice to see their relationship shown after how close they were last season.

After last week didn’t go her way, Nany will almost certainly be down on the Proving Ground next week if USA loses.

11. Kyle- He’s about to blow his gasket on Team UK. At this point, it honestly wouldn’t surprise me if he volunteered himself for elimination just to switch sides.

10. Ninja- As annoying as I find her, this week when Zach splashed her it was so hilarious I had to put her fairly high on my rankings just for providing me that moment.

9. Joss- Solid elimination win for Joss this week taking out Bear, improving his elimination record to 3–1. But if you actually wanted Joss to win over Bear, I can’t be friends with you. We kept another wallpaper character and lost one of the biggest stars on the show.

8. CT- He had a borderline breakdown this week. I get that he’s fed up with being on Team UK and hates having to pick a side in the political game, but the grizzled vet did a terrible job of handling himself in the deliberation.

CT knows he’s in the bottom of whatever alliance he goes to, so it would make sense for CT to whittle both alliances so that he can continue to play the middle. But he hasn’t played the middle — he’s voted on Rogan’s side every time.

I really don’t get the decisions — he could have been justified for voting for Esther over Nicole two weeks ago or Rogan over Bear this week, but he continues to plant his flag on Rogan’s side.

He says he’s going to start playing for himself from here on out. It’ll be interesting to see if he stays loyal to Rogan or starts going rogue.

7. Georgia- She once again saw one of her closest friends in the house go out. A week after Nicole got eliminated, Bear is gone, leaving her pretty lonely in the house. Will she cuddle up to Josh now that they’re gone?

Also, Georgia continues to dominate the fashion game. Just check out this puka shell necklace.

6. Zach- He was able to talk some sense into Turbo after his fight with Jordan, helping convince him to make amends. You know your team has issues when Zach and Ashley are the voices of reason.

5–4. Turbo and Jordan- This episode was basically just Jordan and Turbo trying to prove who was the bigger asshole.

Jordan got up in Turbo’s face for not much reason, and Turbo took Jordan’s aggression way too seriously. They both overreacted — Jordan freaked out over Turbo kicking the relics after the US had already won the mission, while Turbo acted like Jordan murdered his mother in cold blood.

In the end like they made up, making this storyline seem fairly insignificant. They have talked a lot of shit on each other on social media in the last week, so we’ll see if the bad blood boils into the rest of the season and the reunion.

Maybe it’ll result in them getting paired together in a Rivals season, where they would literally murder everyone.

3. Rogan- This guy has been an absolute cockroach this season. He’s survived four male eliminations now, and got to stay out this episode while Bear went in for the second time. Plus, he saw his boy Joss win the elimination, swinging the numbers even further to his side.

2. Bear- It was a sad ending for Spider Grizzly Bear. Despite already proving himself in an elimination against Wes, he had to go into another elimination against arguably the best competitor on his team.

Bear still put up a fight, winning a point and scrapping and clawing his way to stay in the game.

He said he hopes he has 10 more seasons in him. I hope he has 20.

1 Tori- She flashed her strong social game by getting Turbo to calm down and not target Jordan. It’s not like Turbo’s vote actually mattered, as Tori and Zach were always going to put in someone from Team UK, but it’s always good to not have someone on your own team gunning for you.

Going forward though, Tori and Jordan might be in trouble on Team US. While I think Nany will probably go in before Tori, she’s clearly in the bottom two of the pecking order behind Cara, Kam, Ashley and Ninja. And Jordan is down on the bottom with Zach and Leroy.

Stray Thoughts

With two pretty boring episodes in a row, I’m officially worried about this season. We’ve already lost major stars in Wes, Laurel, Bananas and Bear, and we’re probably not even halfway through the season. I’m really not interested in seeing Jordan, Paulie, Cara and Rogan be the stars of the season, but it seems like that’s what we’re looking at.

I really enjoyed both the mission and elimination this week. The Proving Ground game was just a variation of the classic Hall Brawl, and I liked the teamwork that was necessary in Resilient River Run. This was really the first time the teams actually had to compete as a unit, and it was no surprise to see Team US demolish Team UK.

Episode Grade: C

Season Standings

32. S̵e̵a̵n̵ (1)

31–30. F̵a̵i̵t̵h̵ ̵a̵n̵d̵ ̵Z̵a̵h̵i̵d̵a̵ (6)

29. B̵i̵g̵ ̵T̵ (32)

28. N̶i̶c̶o̶l̶e̶ (67)

27. Esther (73)

26. W̵e̵s̵ (76)

25. Kayleigh (82)

24. Joss (94)

23. L̶a̶u̶r̶e̶l̶ (97)

22. Ninja (101)

21. Idris (103)

20. Jenny (104)

19. Kam (105)

18. Turbo (111)

17–16. Nany and Cara (116)

15. Theo (120)

14. Leroy (124)

13. Paulie (130)

12. B̶a̶n̶a̶n̶a̶s̶ (131)

11. Zach (133)

10. Josh (136)

9–8. Tori and Ashley (140)

7. Jordan (164)

6–5. Kyle and Dee (166)

4. CT (176)

3–2. Rogan and Georgia (178)

1 B̶e̶a̶r̶ (181)