The Astros screwed up their news conference on live television Thursday as only they can.



First, third baseman Alex Bregman and second baseman José Altuve delivered brief statements that sounded entirely scripted and less than sincere. Next, owner Jim Crane took no responsibility, deflecting it to fired general manager Jeff Luhnow and manager A.J. Hinch — and worse, he minimized the impact of the team’s cheating.



“Our opinion is this didn’t impact the game,” Crane said when asked about the effect of the team’s illegal sign stealing in 2017. “We had a good team. We won the World Series, and we’ll leave it at that.”



Moments later, in response to another question, Crane walked back that remark.



“I didn’t say it didn’t impact the game,” he said.



Some people are never going to be satisfied with the Astros’ apologies, short of seeing the players crawl on...