If you've ever had your penis cut off and/or been executed while on holiday, you'll probably know that it's easy to offend people from other cultures. Unless you learn the ways of the place you're visiting, even the most well-meaning tourist can regularly find his oesophagus stuffed with burning goat. But surely just plain common sense and good manners will save you, right? Wrong. Advertisement

Extend Your Hand, Palm Outward in Greece What you think you are saying:

"Phew! That was a heck of a moussaka. I'd eat another portion, but I'm completely stuffed." Continue Reading Below Advertisement What you are actually saying:

"Phew! That was a heck of a moussaka. I'd eat another portion, but I'm too busy rubbing handfuls of shit in your face." What the hell?

In Greece, the "hand out" gesture is known as the moutza, and it dates back to the time of the Byzantine Empire, when criminals would be paraded through the streets on horseback, their faces blackened to indicate their shame. If they were lucky, the blackening agent would merely be charcoal. If they were unlucky, it would be a substance much, much worse ... SHIT, is what we're saying here. Their faces would be covered in SHIT. If you really want to piss a Greek person off, you can go for the double moutza, which features both hands splayed above your head. However, this will also make you look like a backup dancer from Cats, so it's your call. Continue Reading Below Advertisement

Give the Thumbs-Up In The Middle East What you think you are saying:

"Ayyyyy! I'm the fuckin' Fonz!" What you are actually saying:

"Ayyyyy! I'm going to jam my thumb in your anus!" What the hell?

It's not just the Middle East. This seemingly universal gesture is also hideously offensive in West Africa and South America, whose citizens would doubtless get really confused if they ever watched Ebert and Roeper. "This movie is great, Bill! So great that I'd like to anally rape it with my thumb!" Continue Reading Below Advertisement The thumbs-up sign has been confusing people for thousands of years. Contrary to Hollywood legend, Roman gladiators were not spared by a thumbs-up, but by a hidden thumb. If the origins of both gestures are linked, we can only assume this meant, "Do not kill the prisoner, he seems the perfect solution to the emperor's arthritic finger."