Tesla buys Boston Dynamics. New Supercharging attendants will be autonomous

In an ongoing effort to reduce costs at Tesla sources familiar with the matter have told us that the new Supercharger V3 attendants will be autonomous robots made by Boston Dynamics, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Tesla Inc.

“As Tesla develops their robo-taxi fleet it makes perfect sense to move to robots to handle automatic Supercharging for the autonomous fleet” said Jerome Guillen, Tesla President of Automotive.

First, Atlas the robot backflipped. Then, it could do parkour. Now, this @BostonDynamics machine can do a gymnastic routine. It's … evolving 😅 https://t.co/A15agK6rTg pic.twitter.com/FHN2kHub0s — WIRED (@WIRED) September 24, 2019

“We want to make sure the robo-taxi fleet is adequately equipped for Supercharging needs so we decided to drop the crazy, and ultimately creepy, charging snake that Elon unveiled back in 2015.” said Guillen.

Mr. Guillen also added that Tesla is actively working on their AI neural net system to improve their behavioural inhibitors. As you can see in the video clip above the robots are very dextrous and nimble but sometimes decide to go “off the ranch”. Sources tell us the robot have already killed 5 people in their development labs when they caught wind of the engineers talking about pulling their lithium-ion batteries to “quell a possible rebellion”.



Tesla Charging Snake: Source Tesla Youtube

Strangely, at the the end of the phone interview Guillen quietly whispered: “I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords” then hung up abruptly.

Norman’s Take

Robots don’t bother me, if they can still serve me kibble after the human race dies out as they turn against them, then I’m good.

Besides, I’d like to play with Spot, I bet he’s pretty good at fetch.

Robot overlords will spare any who buy a Tesla using @MyExtraOrdinaryLife‘s referral code: https://ts.la/vanessa17590