Photo: Vulture

With a brand-new podcast network, a tour of live shows, and a hit show of their own, My Favorite Murder hosts Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark are building a bona fide comedy true-crime empire. That’s no small feat, given all of the podcasts, books, and Netflix shows crowding up the true-crime genre — and now they’ve written a book, too.

Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered is Kilgariff and Hardstark’s dual memoir — for all the non-Murderinos out there, the title doubles as the podcast’s longtime catchphrase — and it promises to explore “never-before-heard stories ranging from their struggles with depression, eating disorders, and addiction.” Between recent My Favorite Murder live shows, the duo answered our most “pressing” questions about themselves. Below, read on for their answers and an exclusive excerpt from Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered, ahead of its release in May 2019.

Who would play you two in the movie adaption of this book?

Kilgariff: Paul Giamatti.

Hardstark: Shelley Duvall.

If you could have a Mariah Carey-esque rider, what would be on it?

Kilgariff: A Mariah Carey-sized pile of cocaine.

What true-crime story would be best told as a musical?

Both: We think the dual of Alexander Hamilton and Aaron Burr would make a perfect musical.

What regional food are you dying to try, but haven’t yet?

Hardstark: The list is very long, but the fact that Cincinnati puts chili on spaghetti makes me so happy.

What was your favorite Halloween costume as a child?

Kilgariff: I was a pilgrim one year. I think I was just in it for the bonnet.

Hardstark: An itchy, smelly, highly flammable, hand-me-down Cookie Monster suit.

Above all else, what should people remember you by?

Hardstark: My cat’s Instagram account.

Kilgariff: I’m the girl that drank all the Bartles & Jaymes wine coolers in 1986.

Excerpt: Stay Sexy & Don’t Get Murdered by Karen Kilgariff and Georgia Hardstark