Web porn blocker would render computers pointless, warn men

Men have warned that they will no longer have a need for computers unless they can persuade their wives that having unlimited access to pornography is something that benefits the whole family.

With four leading web providers offering customers the option to block adult content at the point of subscription, men have insisted that computers will be transformed from an Aladdin’s cave of cyber-filth to nothing more than some expensive plastic with wires and letters on.

“If I want news I turn on the TV, if I want to go shopping then I go to the shops, if I want to watch naked women riding dwarves around a muddy field then I turn on the internet,” insisted one worried husband and father.

“I mean, what else do computers do?”

ISPs offer porn-blocker

The possible porn famine follows a report by interfering Christian charity, the Mothers’ Union.

“Children should be forced to wear blindfolds and earplugs whenever they leave the house,” insisted the author of the report, Mothers’ Union head, Reg Bailey.

“It seems that in this day and age people can’t even take their clothes off without ending up naked.”

“Everywhere you look there is filth.”

“If I can get an erection walking past a billboard that features a woman wearing a bikini then Lord only knows what impact it could have on a child.”