How I learned to be a princess! Kate Middleton is said to be taking lessons in royal etiquette... so what will she be learning?



As Kate Middleton prepares to become Princess Catherine, there’s a lot more for her to worry about than what Pippa’s got lined up for the hen night.

Because once all the fuss and flag-waving has died down, and she embarks on her new regime of duties — starting with a royal visit to Canada at the end of June, any gaps in her knowledge of etiquette and protocol are set to be ruthlessly exposed.

That’s why she’s allegedly being trained up by experts in everything from how to greet foreign dignitaries to the correct method of eating a grape. After all, Kate is posh, but she’s not aristocracy — and none of this will come naturally to her.



Perfect Princess: Flic Everett with Jean Broke-Smith who gave her etiquette lessons

As a fellow commoner, I am equally un-trained when it comes to deportment, curtseying, banqueting and handling servants. So in a bid to understand just what Kate’s up against, I booked in for Princess lessons with etiquette expert Jean Broke-Smith.

As the former principal of the famed Lucie Clayton School of Grooming and Modelling for 30 years, she has taught politicians, royalty and TV stars, and casually says: ‘I’ve trained all Prince William’s girlfriends. Apart from Middleton.’

This, she explains, is because ‘Middleton’ was not a deb.

‘She seems a nice enough girl,’ Jean observes. ‘But she will have to learn to be a princess.’

My own ancestry involves Russian egg-importers and Mancunian tobacconists. I suspect I’m going to find this a challenge.

LESSON ONE: Greeting Royalty

Prince William has grown up meeting foreign dignitaries and royalty from all over the world. ‘It’s a way of life for him,’ Jean says. Kate, however, will have to concentrate hard to avoid making a faux pas.

‘Do you remember when Michelle Obama put her arm round the Queen to shepherd her?’ Jean shudders. ‘One never, ever touches the Queen.’

Princess Catherine will have to show subservience to other royals, and shake hands several hundred times a week, for the rest of her life. I always thought a handshake was simple enough — it’s not.

Pleased to meet you Ma'am: Flic perfects the understated curtsey

My first few attempts are too firm, and I’m waiting for Jean to shake first. ‘No, no,’ she says. ‘Royalty always offers the hand first.’

As if that’s not enough, curtseying is a minefield. The full, sweeping dip, beloved of costume dramas, is appropriate only in a big, floor-length dress, Jean says.

Only the Queen herself requires a floor-sweeper at formal events — for other royals, a bob will suffice.

As far as Jean is concerned, protocol begins with, ‘bum in, shoulders back!’ she says, tapping my bottom. ‘SQUEEZE the muscles in!’ It’s like being at a particularly vicious Pilates class.

The ‘bob’ is hands at the sides, one foot in front of the other, and a knee-bend. Apparently, I’m ‘sticking my hands out as if I’m about to take off’. That’s because I’m trying not to fall over.

LESSON TWO: Sitting And Standing

I always thought my posture was quite good. In fact, Jean says, it’s dreadful. Given the hours that princesses must stand still, a good stance is crucial.

‘One foot slightly in front of the other, toes out,’ says Jean. It’s basically third position in ballet. She prods me till I vacuum in my tummy (no easy task).

‘Shoulders back, head up!’ she says. ‘Imagine a wire running from the top of your head, holding you up,’ she adds. ‘And pretend you’ve a zip running up your middle, holding you in.’ I feel like a reject from the Build-A–Bear workshop, vainly trying to keep my stuffing in.

Shoulders back, head up: Learning how to stand tall

Sitting is equally testing. One must brush the chair with the back of your calves — ‘so you aren’t going to miss the chair’.

After lowering my bottom onto the edge, I should then push back into the seat. Then I place my feet to one side. I may cross my ankles — ‘but you must never cross your legs, it’s masculine’.

The purpose of all this is to ensure that knees are Velcro-ed together. A flash of princess-ly undergarments would be a severe broach of protocol. The standing up is not so easy, as I’m required to shunt forward, lift myself elegantly, and end up in

Princess in training: Any gaps in Kate Middleton's knowledge of etiquette and protocol are set to be ruthlessly exposed

second position again. I topple sideways. ‘Oh dear,’ sighs Jean. I hope Kate’s mastered the art of standing up better than I have.

LESSON THREE: Walking

For a princess, the correct gait of walking even has a name — The Glide. I show Jean my ‘princess walk.’ ‘You’re crossing your knees over each other,’ sighs Jean.

I think I picked that up from America’s Next Top Model.

‘Start with all your weight on your back foot,’ says Jean. My feet should be half a foot-length apart, ‘otherwise you’ll be striding like a giant’, and the correct way to place the weight is heel, instep, then toe.

‘You should brush your foot lightly against the other heel as you step, so you can tell your feet are aligned,’ she instructs.

I’m beginning to feel like John Cleese. And I’m holding my hands out as stiffly as a three-year-old at dance class again. ‘Loosely!’ says Jean. ‘By your sides!’

She ends up crouching on the floor, in a desperate bid to reposition my feet. I don’t remember this at the royal engagement.

‘No, well, Middleton walks very well,’ concedes Jean. ‘I suspect she’s already had lessons.’

LESSON FOUR: Table Manners

A royal banquet is the biggest danger-zone of them all, riddled with potential gaffes and errors.

Even cocktail parties can provide difficulties. ‘Always keep your glass in your left hand,’ says Jean, ‘so your right hand is free for shaking.’ And when it comes to canapes? ‘Some people find it easier not to bother.’ No wonder Kate has got so thin.

Of course, at dinner, there are obvious rules — no mobile phones, no leaning over the table to grab bread. But, adds Jean: ‘I’m constantly horrified by the way people hold cutlery.’

Start from the outside: Table settings are an etiquette minefield

You must never put a finger against the top of your fork to guide it. And no one of blue blood would ever use their fork as a scoop. ‘Even with peas,’ she says, firmly. ‘One just presses them onto the back. Or avoids them.’

I’m feeling fairly smug, until she talks me through the uses of a forest of glasses and adds: ‘Of course, you never, ever, hold your glass out for a refill.’

Oops. Princesses don’t drink much, apparently.

If you are dining with the Queen, you wait for her to begin. And if you are taking tea with her, ‘the Queen always pours’, confides Jean. So don’t say ‘Shall I be Mother?’ and grab the pot.

LESSON FIVE: Coat Management

Never have I given any thought to how I remove my coat.

‘No,’ Jean sighs, when I demonstrate my method. ‘You see, you’re dangling it all over the floor.’

Although I assume that for Kate a footman will be on hand to help her, it’s a useful skill.

‘Put in one arm and pull the collar right up to your neck,’ Jean says. ‘Then when you reach behind, the other sleeve will be in exactly the right place.’

She’s right. Her taking-off advice is even better.

‘Push the coat a little way off your shoulders,’ she says. ‘Now, reach behind you and grasp the cuff of the left sleeve in your right hand. You take it off, bring the coat round to the front, take both cuffs in your left hand, and then reach through the arms to the collar.’

It’s simpler than it sounds. I wonder if Kate knows about this?

LESSON SIX: Getting In And Out Of A Car

Astonishing numbers of celebrities have come adrift trying to enter and exit cars elegantly.

Former PM’s wife Sarah Brown admits she whacked her head the first time she got into the PM’s limo, while knicker-flashing starlets are ten a penny. That’s because they haven’t learnt the princess rule — always enter the car bottom first, so you can slide in backwards.

This is how it's done Britney: Getting out of a car

Getting out of a normal car is a matter of swinging your legs to the side and stepping out.

‘But in a big, chauffeur-driven car, such as a Bentley, the mistake people make is to step forward first,’ Jean explains. Instead, you remain seated, swing both legs to the side and exit on the diagonal.

Worst of all is the sports car. ‘Hold lightly onto the top of the car as you get in and out,’ says Jean, ‘that way, you won’t bump your head.’

Thank goodness I’ll never need to worry about all this. Kate has just a few weeks to crack all this and more. She may be the envy of every woman in the country, but I can’t help but feel very sorry for her indeed.