In which our young squire searches for a place to live in, parental advise is given, and an old feud is re-introduced.

Chapter Text

Six o' clock, the Wash's perennial closing time - supposedly observed since the reign of Skywynne Butterfly, Queen of Hours - found Marco and Lavabo calmly eating a second serving of buttered corn.

Their job had been finished with several minutes to spare. This was despite a particularly stubborn dust ghoul, a bloodthirsty vine curse, and the general and disturbing lack of care the Knights of Mewni seemed to display towards their own equipment.

Marco had learned, in the last hour, about twenty three different alchemical oils used to clean steel, cold iron, conjured orichalcum plate, magical fiberglass, pixie battlesilver, and the dark unnameable metal of the black forges of the Underworld. He had made a mental note to ask Tom later if he could, you know, name it. It was really annoying to talk about the stuff otherwise.

He had also learned the fine details of polishing, inspecting, and de-cursing both armor and weapons.

He had learned, first hand, that a dust ghoul was a flesh eating undead creature that, once slain, turned to dust. Unfortunately, this did not mean that it disappeared without trace, but rather that its remains usually ended up coating the clothes and armor of the brave knight who managed to slay them. Given enough time, a dark environment, and proper living-dead style determination on their part, the ghoul simply ended up putting itself together, in a diminished form, from that residual concentration of material.

Honestly, the hard part wasn't breaking up the creature again with a well timed karate chop, or even washing down the dust into the bright magical cleaning solution intended to take care of the problem in a more permanent way. The worst part, instead, was the nauseating sensation of breathing in pulverized zombie. Also, having to drink enchanted vinegar diluted in holy water just to guard against the unlikely but cumulative risk of ever getting enough ghoul into your lungs that the thing might try to form from within your chest.

Ugh, the thought alone gave Marco the creeps.

The bloodthirsty vine curse had been harder to deal with, but Lavabo had made quick work of it. Apparently, the night fairies living in the depths of the Forest of Certain Death were rather opposed to knights trampling on or cutting their favorite flowers. Their idea of payback was to curse their clothes so that the thread itself turned into vicious thorn-covered creeper vines at dusk. The climbing plants then gorged themselves on mewman blood and eventually blossomed into a full rose garden of their own, beautiful and deadly.

Geez, and Marco had thought pixies were bad enough!

Fortunately, it turns out that bloodthirsty vines are much less dangerous if you are not wearing the armor at the time, creep rather slowly, and are, despite their mortal thorns, no match for the Knight of the Wash armed with a pair of rune-etched cold iron garden trimmers.

"Is cleaning the knights’ pile always like this?" Marco asked at some point.

"Not so, Marco Diaz," Lavabo assured him. "Some days we might encounter actual dangers brought in with the day's load."

Marco stared at the old knight, who simply smiled softly. He wasn't sure if that had been his idea of a joke, or if he was dead serious. He supposed he would find out. For now, he was pretty happy to have survived the first day down here. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.

As he reached out for yet another ear of corn, Marco was beginning to dread that might be the only food known to Mewni. He remembered having had many other dishes back when he had stayed with Star in the castle, after the battle with Toffee: various meats and vegetables and fish, all besides the marked emphasis on corn. The table of the Butterfly family had always presented him a literal banquet. Then again, Marco realized, they were royalty. Chances were, whatever Star and her parents ate was different from what most of their subjects ate, and the way Star lived was different to the way the non-royals lived.

Speaking of which, he remembered, he hadn't figured out yet where he himself was going to live.

"Hey, Lavabo, I mean... Sir Lavabo," Marco stammered. "If there is nothing else left to do tonight, I think I should go find Star now, or Queen Moon, and ask them where I should be staying."

He was exhausted, despite it only being 6:00 PM. The day had felt like it had lasted forever, and his entire body was sore from all the work, but he still had to figure this out. He didn’t want to spend yet another night on the lint catcher’s hard floor, and resorting to sleeping on a pile of strangers’ clothes didn’t sound much better.

"Very well, Marco Diaz. You have performed admirably today, and I am happy to grant you leave," the knight spoke solemnly. "By the way, should you not manage to procure any other options, you are always welcome to my own home. It is a bit far from the castle, and I will not say it hasn't seen better times, but it is an honest dwelling, for honest men. It has belonged to the Knight of the Wash for over twelve generations," he explained, in a tone of reverent satisfaction.

"Ah, eh, thank you..." Marco replied, honestly grateful at the knight’s gesture. For a moment he considered taking the offer, but a house far from the castle was the last thing he wanted. He wanted to stay in the castle, because... well... because he wanted to stay close to Star. After all, that was the reason he had come to Mewni, right? To hang out with Star.

Well, that and to be a great and famous knight, with the blue 'knight cape' King River had supposedly given him. But still, a big part of it was about hanging with his best friend again. "But I think I should try asking Star first, sorry. No offense."

"Your words do not offend me, Marco Diaz," Lavabo replied, giving him a reassuring smile. "You have your reasons, and I cannot imagine them to be anything other than honorable ones. Nevertheless, should you change your mind, please know that I have a few personal matters to attend to in the castle, and will be back here at eight to pick up my belongings and set on my journey home. The offer to join me remains open. Otherwise, I expect to see you down here tomorrow, six AM sharp, to continue your training."

Marco nodded. "Of course, Sir!"

After cleaning his hands with a cloth napkin, Marco pushed himself up from the wooden table in the middle of the Wash, grabbed his bag, and dug into his pants pockets for his pair of dimensional scissors. His name gleamed back at him from the metal. He briefly realized he still didn’t know what that metal actually was, even after today’s lessons. Well, that was a question for another time.

Thinking about the hallway in front of Star's room, he cut a portal in mid air, and disappeared through it.

Lavabo said nothing as Marco departed. The boy never saw the calm but admiring look with which the old knight regarded the scissors.

----

Marco cautiously peeked his head out of the portal and made sure the coast was clear. He imagined that after yesterday’s incident, security on the higher levels of the castle would be stricter than usual.

Once he had confirmed that the hallway was empty, the squire left the portal entirely and allowed it to dissipate into thin air.

Star’s bedroom door stood in front of him. This felt so strange. The place used to be as welcoming to him as his own room, but now he couldn’t bring himself to knock on the door. Marco stared at it, his guts slowly shuffling with anxiety.

Washing all those clothes took a lot out of Marco, but after the fourth hour or so, he got the hang of it and the labor became quite methodical. While his body went through the motions of gathering and washing and drying, his brain had passed the time by thinking of how he was going to apologize to Star. He must have played out over a hundred different scenarios in his head, but almost all of them ended with her taking it the wrong way and slamming the door in his face.

If he brought up the lint monster, it might seem like he was trying to make Star feel guilty for not being there for him yesterday. I mean, yeah, it would have been nice if she fought alongside him, but Marco needed to pass the trial on his own, and with the dimensional scissors, it was debatable if Star left him in any real danger to begin with.

If Marco mentioned his eventual victory over the beast, he could come off as a boaster again. That wasn’t good either. Even if he was the first squire to defeat the lint monster in years (he still couldn’t believe it!), he didn’t want to repeat the same mistakes he made with his friends on Earth. He’d take after Lavabo from now on: be a badass, but pretend it wasn’t a big deal.

He would also be careful not to mention needing a room right away. Then it’d just seem like he was only apologizing to her for his own benefit. He’d have to sneak in the topic mid-conversation somehow.

Maybe it’d be better if he started it with something about her? Like asking how her day was.

Yeah, that could work…

Marco shook his head. Wait, this was stupid. Why was Marco overthinking something as simple as talking to his best friend? He just needed to man up and admit he made a mistake. She’d understand. Star made dumb mistakes all the time when she was on Earth, and Marco never held a grudge against her. Just say hello to Star, and let the rest of the words flow naturally.

...But just to be safe, Marco gave himself a more confident posture. He licked the tip of his fingers to slick his hair back. A quick whiff of his under-arms confirmed that he really should’ve taken a shower before doing this. Ever since Summer started, he’d been consistently skipping his hygiene routine for some reason.

Wanting to be more presentable towards the princess, Marco hunched over and opened his bag to find his deodorant and a breath mint, but the search was interrupted by his phone ringing. He jolted.

Ugh, Marco really needed to change his ring tone. It was 2015 already. Space Unicorn just wasn’t hip anymore. Not that he thought it was hip back in 2014. He had it ironically. But now it wasn’t even ironically hip. It wasn’t like he enjoyed the song or anything...

Marco glanced down at the caller ID. It read 'HOME.’

*Click*

“Hello?”

“Hi honey! How've you been?”

“Oh, uh, hey Mom. Sorry I didn't call you guys last night. Things were kinda hectic when I arrived so I didn't have the time.”

“It’s okay Marco. We know what’s it’s like to be independent for the first time. I’m surprised you even picked up at all.”

Ouch. “Geez, give me some credit.”

Marco heard his mom chuckling. “Don’t worry about it. We’ll be fine as long as you’re having a good time over there. So, how are you enjoying France? Is being a knight everything you hoped for and more?”

Marco hesitated a little. “Um... yup, sure is! It’s been nothing but jousting and crusades all day, every day. I’m practically up to my neck in chivalry. There was this dragon that had found its way into the Washroom and I took it out no problem.”

There was a small uncertain pause before his mother responded. “Good, good. Anyway, your father has been dying to talk to you, so I’ll hand the phone over to-”

“Marco! Are you okay? Has anyone hurt you?” his dad said, panting.

“What? Yeah, I’m fine.” Wow, Marco’s father seemed really worried. It was sort of justified paranoia, considering Mewni was far from the safest place in the multiverse, but still…

“Is there any way I can talk to Queen Moon? I’d like to go over several precautions with her in case you lose a limb or something. Is she available?”

Marco looked around. “Right now’s not a good time, Dad. Queen Moon’s in the middle of signing a peace treaty with some minotaurs. Really delicate stuff. I don’t want to interrupt them and risk causing a war, you know?”

“Well, what about King River? Is he nearby.”

His dad was way too persistent. “Nope. He’s on vacation. Left the kingdom last night to go golfing with his barbarian buddies.”

“King River golfs?”

“It’s a matriarchal society, Dad. What else would their king be doing?”

“I thought he didn’t know how to play. Didn’t we have to pay for the damages he caused to that putt putt place because he didn’t understand the rules? I know mini-golf is different but-”

Marco banged on Star’s door several times, making sure his dad could hear the noise on the other end. “Oh no! That... wooden horse-shaped peace offering apparently had a Minotaur army inside of it. Who would have guessed? They’re now wreaking havoc around the castle. I’ll call you later, Dad. Duty calls.”

“Marco, wait-”

*Click*

Marco sighed in relief. That was a close one.

He hated the idea of lying to his parents, but letting them talk to Moon or River would do more harm than good. If they found out Marco invited himself to Mewni, and that those Foreign Exchange Student papers were phony, well, Marco didn’t want to risk being forced to return home.

Once he got promoted to a respected knight, he’d let them in on it, and they’d all share a good laugh. It wasn’t that big of a deal anyway. His parents probably appreciated the alone time, and Mewni got an awesome squire. A win-win all around!

Marco put the phone away and his attention returned to Star’s bedroom door. He had knocked on it pretty hard. If Star was in there, she definitely would’ve heard it. She must've been somewhere else in the castle.

Just to check, he tried knocking again. Nothing. He tried opening the door. Locked. He put an ear to the wood. Quietness. Ok, that last one settled it, Star was definitely not in there. Even a sleeping Star made more noise snoring than the Awesome Opossums’ entire marching band made, well, marching.

The boy’s hands absentmindedly played with a particular pair of scissors inside his right pocket, but he stopped himself.

No, he had set out to do this the right way. Besides, it was unlikely that she was actually in there. He was better off just looking for her elsewhere.

Marco was about to go searching for Star, but then the door’s knob began jiggling.

“Star?”

The shaking of the door continued, becoming more violent with each second. Marco looked at the knob and realized something was trying to fit through the keyhole. A pair of tiny blue arms appeared and pressed themselves against the metal. Whatever the arms were trying to pull out, they eventually succeeded.

“Globgor!”

“Glossaryck!” Marco exclaimed, surprised by the magic man's sudden appearance. Wait, didn’t he disappear after Ludo, or was it Toffee… Ludofee destroyed the book of spells?

“Globgor!” repeated the small blue figure as it pushed against the frame of the doorknob, freeing all but his left foot.

"Look, man, I don't know what weird game you’re playing this time around, but I really don't have the time. I just need to find Star," pleaded Marco. "I promise I'll get you some pudding after I find her, alright?"

Glossaryck finally managed to extract all of himself from the keyhole. He fell to the floor on all fours and regarded the boy with an inquisitive look. "Glob...?" He tilted his head, scratched his left ear with his left foot, and then... "... Gor!"

The minuscule old man took off running through the hallway at full speed. Only then, Marco remembered Star's letter: 'Did you know Glossaryck came back to life?', followed by 'and now he’s some weird man-baby'. Right. Great, just great!

Marco ran after him. Something told him that was the right thing to do. The guy shouldn't be on his own outside of Star's room. "Wait, Glossaryck! Slow down! Damn it!"

The blasted book elf, or whatever, was fast, really fast. Marco chased him around a corner, and into an even longer hallway. At the other end was what seemed to be the entrance to a spiral staircase. If Glossaryck made it to the stairs, Marco was certain he would soon lose sight of him.

It didn't help that the human boy was exhausted from his first day at the wash. But even if he weren't, he wasn't sure he could catch up to Glossaryck. The blasted blue man could probably run laps around the boy without even trying. It reminded him of someone else that was near-impossible to catch.

Wait, that was it!

Marco took out the scissors from his right pocket, concentrated on the top of the stairwell, and cut a hole right in front of his own moving body. As he made it through the portal, he found himself at the end of the hallway facing the exact opposite direction from before. Glossaryck was running directly towards him, with far too much momentum to stop. All Marco had to do now was grab him in time. "Now, I call that move The Hek..."

The diamond encrusted imp just turned to the left and jumped out of a window.

"... kapoo," Marco finished, striking his own diamond-free forehead with an open palm.

He ran to the window. It overlooked a beautiful courtyard, full of rose bushes. From right under where the boy was standing, Glossaryck fixed him an expectant look. Marco sighed and cut another portal with the scissors.

Swish!

He was down in the garden, looking at a long marble fountain with some statue of an angel spitting crystal clear water towards the sky. Glossaryck was now, somehow, on the roof of a gazebo.

Swish!

Marco was atop the gazebo. Glossaryck was sitting on the marble statue.

Swish!

Splash! Marco was inside the fountain. Glossaryck was atop the arches of one of the enclosing walls. And to make things even worse, Marco now had wet socks. Damn it! That was just the worst sensation ever.

Swish!

Marco was slowly walking atop the narrow wall, trying his best to keep the balance while wearing slippery wet shoes, as Glossaryck ran towards the wall, and towards yet another open window. The window was about three meters up from were the wall ended, but this didn't seem to matter to the spell book critter. He simply climbed up the wall as if he were still running on flat ground, and flung himself through the window.

To Marco's annoyance, he couldn't portal to a place he didn't know or couldn't see. Instead, he begun the process of climbing up the castle wall. If any guards saw him now, after what happened the last time he climbed through one of the castle's windows, he would have a really hard time explaining himself.

When he finally made it to the ledge of the window and was able to peek inside, he found no sign of Glossaryck. Instead, he saw a familiar blond man, short but muscular, with a beard half his own full length. King River was clad in a blue vest and wore a golden crown. He also wore an embossed silk velvet cape, dyed in tyrian purple, or maybe one of Mewni's four magical varieties, the squire noted.

Actually, this was good. River knew him. They both went way back. Marco had taught the king to stand up for himself and for his people. They shared a cell together for a week. They had been through a lot, and if there was someone around, other than Star and Moon, with the authority to give Marco a place to stay in the castle, it was the King of Mewni.

He was about to climb up of the window to say hi to him, when he heard a voice. It was an older female voice that did sound familiar as well, but that he wasn't quite able to place. Definitely not Moon. Moon would never speak to anyone with such venom, much less to her beloved husband. "River Johansen! Just the lout I was hoping to run into..."

"Ah, Etheria, dear, I only wish I could say the same," groaned River, badly concealing his chagrin. "And to what do I owe the... ahem... pleasure?"

“To what do you think? Once again, I am forced to call your attention, feeble as it might be, towards the actions of that feral hoyden you call a daughter!”

Wait, was that woman talking about Star? Marco realized then where he knew her from: she had been at that Butterfly/Johansen picnic fiasco. The woman was Star’s grand aunt or something, on the Butterfly side. That explained why she didn’t seem to like River. Still, that didn’t explain what her beef was with Star herself. River, apparently, seemed to have been thinking along the same lines.

“Now, Etheria, I know we have our differences, but you are not dragging my daughter into this,” he remarked with some harshness. “I won’t allow it! And neither would Moon-Pie!”

“Well, it simply must be said! My niece has always let her feelings get in the way of her better judgement.” She eyed River up and down. “...Case in point.”

She paused, and the two members of the royal family exchanged annoyed stares. Marco could almost see the years of animosity between them crackle in the space between their eyes.

“I myself have made some concessions as to the child’s wild streak. Oh, believe me, I have. I almost managed to convince myself she had turned out alright enough, all things considered, given the paternal influence…” the elder woman added with disdain.

“Is this headed anywhere near any sort of point?” River asked impatiently. “I assure you I have more important things to do than listen to one more speech about your opinion of myself or my family. You made your feelings clear enough at our wedding, as I recall.”

Marco, still hanging on the outside of the window, couldn’t help but second River’s wish for Etheria to leave.

“The point? The point is that your daughter is now harboring a dangerous fugitive, and preventing justice from being carried out on the most heinous villain in our history!” exclaimed Etheria.

Unfortunately, that didn’t seem to be the conclusion of her rant, so much as its second wind.

“Look, I have tried being reasonable,” she protested. ”I was willing to look the other way regarding those distasteful monster brawls she took up as a hobby. I am not even mentioning the incident of her fourteenth birthday. And, while I wish you two had sent her then to a proper educational institution, like Saint Olga’s, I have come to accept Moon’s decision to send her to that backwater dimension instead, but... this!? This is unacceptable! Defending Eclipsa, of all people! Surely she must have gotten that idea from your side of the family!”

“Ah, Etheria, hold on just one second there. With all due respect,” interrupted River as she finally paused for air. His tone made it perfectly clear that, as far as he was concerned, the amount of respect the older woman was due was zero or pretty damn close to that, “and no offense to Moon-Pie, of course… But, well, I believe, after all, Eclipsa is your side of the family.”

Etheria went livid, eyes wide. “You… how dare you imply…” she grasped for a coherent argument. “You haven’t heard the last of me, River Johansen!”

“Would that I be so lucky…” muttered River as the noblewoman left in a huff, walking back the same way she came.

Once Etheria was out of sight, Marco lifted himself over the ledge and jumped onto the castle floor. “Hey River.”

The King’s eyes went wide, followed by a grin. “Marco! Star told me you were working in the Wash now. What brings you to this part of the castle? And why didn’t you use the stairs?”

“Um… it’s sort of a long story,” Marco said awkwardly. “Anyway, I accidentally overheard that conversation between you and Etheria. At first I didn’t want to interrupt you guys but, yeah, I shouldn’t have stuck around for that. I’m sorry.”

Marco truly did feel ashamed for listening in on such a delicate conversation, but River didn’t show the slightest bit of resentment towards the boy.

He shrugged. “There’s no need for an apology. If anything, I should feel sorry for you. You were hanging from the outside window, clinging for dear life, and the entire time you had to hear that hag’s dreadful voice! Why, if I was in your situation, I may have chosen to let go and fall to my death rather than listen to another word from her!”

“Sheesh River. She’s your family.”

“She isn’t family, Marco. She’s an in-law! Huge difference. And I’m sure with her the feeling is mutual! Moon-Pie’s family never cared for the Johansen name, and they make no attempt to hide that from me!” The king began grinding his teeth.

Marco was then reminded of something. “Didn’t the Johansens and Butterflies settle their differences during that game of Flags?”

River sighed. “In a way, yes. But once all the emotions settled, things went back to the way they always were. I gave up on trying to please them a long time ago. The best thing we can do is learn to deal with each other and coexist, for Star’s sake.”

Marco didn’t necessarily agree, but it wasn’t really his place to speak his mind. The matter had nothing to do with him.

River looked at the ground. “They can judge her all they want, but as her father, I couldn’t be more proud.”

Marco smiled. “Yeah, she really is amazing. I mean, just remembering the day she destroyed Toffee still gives me goosebumps.” It truly was the most epic thing Marco had ever witnessed.

“Ah, er, yes. I suppose that was indeed something, but I was mostly referring to what she has accomplished after she blasted that lizard to next Tuesday.”

“After?”

“Fighting has never been an issue with Star. With her in combat, it is not a matter of if, but when. She has the heart of a warrior, passionate with a love for adventure, but that by itself was a problem. She always preferred being on the battlefield or, corn, anywhere that wasn’t inside the castle.”

Yeah, Star did have a tendency to ignore her future role as Queen. It was a heavy source of anxiety for her. She had confided that fact to Marco many times.

River continued. “Moon-Pie and I were worried she wouldn’t have what it takes to run a kingdom. It is not a glamorous job, and we knew not every problem she’d face could be solved by simply punching it. So imagine our surprise, when she told us that she wasn’t going to return to Earth for another school year!”

“Hey, you don’t have to tell me. I was pretty shocked when she told me as well.” But it wasn’t like Marco could blame Star for wanting to stay on Mewni. Her entire kingdom was a complete mess after Toffee’s defeat. She made the responsible decision and Marco fully supported her on that.

“Exactly. It’s like she’s a new person. She’s even spending more time with her mother now. Right now they are visiting the Pigeon Kingdom, asking for funds and supplies.”

“The… Pigeon Kingdom?” Marco asked dumbly. Oh, right, it must be another nation within Mewni, maybe named after the last name of the ruling family, like the Butterfly Kingdom. For a second there he thought it was a kingdom of actual pigeons. How silly of him!

“Oh yes, Prince Rich Pigeon and Star have been well acquainted with each other for at least five Silver Bell Balls,” River continued. “She probably has a better in with him than Moon-Pie and I do with his parents. Dance transcends the language barrier, after all…”

Marco had no idea what River was on about. But, then again, that was often the case.

“So, she and Moon are asking them for money?” Marco surmised.

“Yes, exactly!” River frowned. “Well, not, you know, exactly. Properly speaking, they are trying to secure a five year treaty involving both direct reconstruction aid, as well as a loan backed by variable interest rate royal bonds of the Butterfly Kingdom. So, basically, yes, they are begging for money.”

Marco had never credited the Mewni financial system with being quite so complex.

“But anyhow, the important point is that I couldn’t be any more proud of Star these days. She has grown into a fine responsible young woman, while still being braver than any other Johansen I’ve ever met,” River beamed. “And I believe I have you, partly, to thank for it!”

The king patted Marco in the back with enough force to almost knock him down to the ground.

“Me?” Marco asked, confused by the sudden change in topic.

“Oh yes, boy, I think her time in your dimension served Star well,” the stout man continued. “It was both a learning experience, and a chance for her to unwind for a year or so, to get away from her responsibilities so she might be better prepared to handle them when she returned. A place like Saint Olga’s would have crippled her, but your Earth allowed her to grow. And, you, specifically, a responsible yet wilful young lad, were an excellent example for my daughter. For that, Marco, I am forever grateful!”

Wow. Marco didn’t know what to say. He never knew King River felt that way about him, and his friendship with Star. It was sort of scary to think about what sort of responsibility being best friend to the future queen meant, when you put it that way. Wait a minute…

“If you are so grateful, though, then why did you give me the darn meat blanket?” he retorted, accusingly. “Your ‘gift’ made a fool of me. I really thought it meant something…”

“Oh, uh, sorry Marco,” the king apologized, taken aback. Then, with a broad grin, he explained, “You see, it did mean something, just perhaps not what you thought. I truly did appreciate your efforts during that crisis. I must admit, at first I couldn’t for the life of me think of an appropriate gift for something like that. But, of course, that’s when I had a brilliant idea: I could just lie!”

River clicked his fingers triumphantly, as if to demonstrate the moment of inspiration for such a momentous stroke of genius. Marco, dumbfounded by the brazenes of that confession, just stood there silent. The older man took that as an invitation to elaborate further.

“I could repurpose my old meat blanket into an invitation for knighthood! You get to feel good about yourself, while I finally have an excuse to buy a new blanket. A win-win all around, wouldn’t you say?” Then, as an afterthought, he added, “and, of course, since we would likely never see you again, you’d get to keep that proud feeling for life!”

“So it didn’t cross your mind once that I would take you up on the offer?” Marco asked. A second later, however, his brain caught up to the last thing the king had said, “...Wait! You guys thought you were never going to see me again!?” Marco felt more offended by that than anything else so far, truth be told.

“Well, of course, Marco,” the king shrugged. “You were going back to Earth. Star was staying to help run the kingdom. It seemed like a fitting end to all that.”

“What!? Look, River, Star is my best friend. Of course we weren’t going to just never… never talk to each other again!” he stammered. “I have her ph… her compact mirror number! And I have dimensional scissors! I can be here from Earth in like one second, you know?”

“Well,” River seemed to ponder this. “If it was that easy, Marco, why didn’t you visit before now?”

That stopped Marco cold. Why hadn’t he? Why hadn’t he even called or texted Star before. They hadn’t spoke at all in between him going back to Earth, and yesterday morning.

“Marco…” River spoke softly, at least by his standards. “You and Star lead very different lives, and she has matters weighing down on her that very few people are prepared to handle. Moon-Pie and I were also from different worlds. I was a Johansen, she is, and will always be, a Butterfly. I chose to live in her world. Take it from me, it is not an easy path to walk. You may have dimensional scissors, but at the end of the day, you can only be in one place at a time. You’ll have to make sacrifices for the sake of being where you truly want to be.”

The image of Jackie at the pier popped up in Marco’s head, but he tried to dismiss it.

“I… I want to live in Star’s world,” Marco said, before realizing what he was implying. “I mean, she is my best friend. I want to live in Mewni, and be close to Star, for now, at least.”

“Very well, Marco,” River smiled. “If knighthood is what you desire, then it shall be so. You’re still a far ways off, but I have the utmost faith in you!”

“Wait,” Marco said, suddenly remembering the entire reason he was here. Not here in Mewni, but here in this hallway. Not Glossaryck, either. The original reason. “I sort of need a place to stay, River. Is there any way I can get a room in the castle?”

“Oh, absolutely!” the king beamed. Then he seemed to think a bit more and scratched his head a little. “Ah… well, you see, after that monster stomped all over the kingdom, many of the peasants lost their homes. Star asked us to house them in the castle while the reconstruction got started, so I am afraid all rooms are full to the brim!”

Oh, wow, Star had done that? Marco couldn’t help but feel proud of her once more.

“But no worries,” River continued. “Why, for a friend of the family, I am sure we can kick out a few more beggars into the streets! Is not like that would make a difference these days.”

Holy crap. “River! That’s... so cruel!”

“Please, Marco, our famously deadly Winter storms are still months away,” the older man pointed out. “They will be fine.”

“What? No!” Marco retorted horrified. “Look, forget I asked. I’ll find another place.”

“Nonsense, I insist,” River pushed. “Come to think of it... You will take a room in the palace, squire Diaz. That’s an order from your king!”

Marco blinked. Was he serious? Oh crap, he was!

The boy took a deep breath, and fished inside his backpack pocket for something. Once he pulled it out, he looked at River straight in the eyes.

“Your majesty, I am honored,” he began formally. “But a squire’s duty is first to the people and then to his king. To do as you ask would violate my duty to the people of Mewni. I believe… this is yours.”

Marco handed King River a blue piece of cloth. Not a cape, but a meat blanket.

“I see…” River took it, carefully. He paused for a second, then smiled and gave Marco a painful pat on the back. ”Very well, I’ll accept that argument, squire. In that case, you’re dismissed.”

Feeling vaguely uncomfortable, Marco quickly left the hallway before the king changed his mind again.

----

Marco returned to the Wash. He took the long way there - that is, he walked instead of using the scissors - since there was a chance he’d run into Glossaryck again.

He didn't see the diminutive old man, of course, but considering Marco’s luck as of late, that didn't come as a surprise. He just hoped, wherever he was, that he was okay.

The squire looked around and noticed the entire facility was now devoid of clothing. Between him beginning his search for Star and his trek back, all eighty three thousand six hundred and forty two pieces had left, presumably to be delivered.

There was, also, no sign of Lavabo. Perhaps he had already left? No, it wasn’t eight yet. Lavabo was nothing if not punctual, after all. Marco had gotten to know the old knight well enough to count on that, at least. He sat in one of the Wash’s wooden chairs to wait for him.

It had been less than two hours since he last saw his mentor, yet a lot had happened to Marco in those two hours. Hell, he had been in Mewni for less than forty-eight hours, yet it felt like weeks. It was like Hekapoo’s dimension all over again: time just seemed to dilate here. Just, you know, metaphorically, rather than painfully literally.

He wondered if it was the same for Star. If every day for her in Mewni since he left had been as overwhelming as his first two since coming back. Apparently, a lot had changed in her life: dating Tom, embracing her role as princess, working close with her mom to help rebuild their kingdom. There was the whole thing with Glossaryck being alive, and also a baby, or a pet, or something.

Besides, hadn’t River said something about a person named Eclipsa? Apparently Eclipsa was a relative of Star’s, but also a fugitive that she was protecting? Marco recalled seeing that name in the book of spells once, but there was no way it was referring to the same person. Then again, exactly how common was the name Eclipsa?

Marco lost that train of thought. Somewhere, in the back of his mind, his brain had been working on the realization that he knew very little about Star now. He didn’t know what her life was like, he didn’t know about her problems, about her goals, her dreams. Oh god, he was a terrible friend!

He also realized that, even if he stayed in Mewni, he wouldn’t necessarily be able to hang out with Star. She had a different life now, one that didn’t have a place for him in it anymore. And he was about to move in with Lavabo, and get sucked into the craziness that was this whole Order of the Wash business.

Was that what he wanted? Really? To become a knight of Mewni just because River had once played a practical joke on him that made him believe he was one already?

The thing is, if he wanted adventure, and he wanted respect, and a place to belong, with or without Star, well… He stared at the side of the dimensional scissors, at the name etched into the blades. There was already a place like that, wasn’t there? He could go back to Hekapoo’s dimension. He was a hero there, someone greater and mightier than any one knight of Mewni. There he had all the adventure he could handle, and often quite a bit more. If being Star’s best friend was no longer an option, then, why not…

Marco’s thoughts were interrupted by a cold nose against his leg. When he turned down, he saw, to his surprise, not a dog as he originally envisioned, but a familiar blue form.

“Glossaryck!” Marco called in surprise.

“Glooobgor,” he stated lazily, and jumped right into Marco’s lap. The old man then chased his own behind twice atop the boy’s legs, and proceeded to fall asleep right on Marco’s knees.

Marco sighed. Well, if nothing else, he should return Glossaryck to Star.

A moment later, he was stepping out of a portal into her room. It was funny, but knowing for sure she wouldn’t be there actually made it easier. She was, after all, visiting that Rich Pidgeon guy with her mom.

Marco placed Glossaryck gently on the bed. The magic man remained asleep.

Well, that was it. All done here. Off to find Nachos or whatever. Perhaps he should find Lavabo and say his goodbyes first?

Then again…

Marco opened his backpack, and pulled out a single sheet of paper, and a pen.

Hey Star. Hopefully you aren’t peeved out by the fact that this letter being here means I was alone in your room. I only came to see if you wanted to hang out, but then Glossaryck squeezed his way out of the locked door and I spent the better part of an hour trying to catch him. I brought him back here, and decided it was a good chance to reply to your letter. The little guy’s fast asleep, so he should be fine. You may want to find a better way of keeping him in one place, since he might try the same stunt again next time you’re gone. Just noticed a bag of diapers and that case of Corn Chips next to your bed. Guess you’re the one in charge of taking care of him? Man, you have so much on your plate right now. In addition to everything else you do, you also need to care for your own magic mentor. No wonder you were mad at me yesterday. You probably don’t get that many chances to be with Tom, and I just came out of nowhere to ruin the day for both of you. I’m really sorry about that. There’s actually a lot I need to apologize for. To everyone. I was unbearable these last few weeks. I just kept bragging about what a cool knight I was, even though I most definitely was not a knight, and everything I did during Ludo’s invasion amounted to nothing. I guess when you have nothing going for you, you cling on to whatever small accomplishments come to mind. I was given a participation trophy in the form of a meat blanket, and boy did I make sure everyone knew I participated! You know what’s funny? Even though I went through Hekapoo’s scissors quest, full of adventure and danger, the hardest part didn’t come til the morning after I returned to Earth, when I had to wake up early to take the laser puppies out. Now THAT was a challenge. I guess that says something about me. Going on adventures where you mainly interact with psychopathic clones and non sentient monsters was a lot easier than, you know, doing chores, or being a good boyfriend, or a good friend in general. Deep down, I guess I only came here because I thought it would be easy. I had messed up every relationship I had on Earth, so the next logical step was to start over somewhere else. Everyone here would love me by default because I was a knight, so I wouldn’t have to put in any effort. Everything would be handed to me and it’d be nothing but fun adventures all day with you. And I was horribly wrong. Turns out barely anyone remembers or has any reason to respect me, the workload in the Wash is intense and repetitive, and it looks like we aren’t going to see each other as often as I hoped. But, that’s okay. Star, I’m really proud of you. It must have been really difficult for you to decide to not go back to Earth. Actually, I know it was difficult. You loved everything about Earth since the day you started living there, and no one would have blamed you for wanting another stress-free year after the hell you went through during that battle. But instead, you looked at the shape of your kingdom and decided to stay and help. You gave a shelter to your homeless citizens, you’re getting into politics with other kingdoms, and you even moved past your grudge against Tom and worked things out with him. Your dad said I may have had something to do with you changing over the last year, but you were the one who put in the effort. I need to change as well. I can’t keep running away from every problem life throws at me. I kept ignoring the problems between me and Jackie until it was too late to fix them. I could use my scissors and go on adventures for the rest of my life, but that won’t make me a better person. That’s why I want to stay here and learn from Lavabo. I want to learn the ins and outs of the Wash and master it, and honestly, it’s probably the place in the multiverse where I’m needed the most. You were right, Lavabo is a really cool guy, and is the best thing for me right now, and I can’t thank you enough for getting me this job! Best Wishes - Marco Diaz, Squire of the Wash and Future Knight of the Butterfly Kingdom

After reading it over a few times, Marco began to realize that this letter came off as really cheesy. Oh well, it’s not like he didn’t mean every word of it, and he sort of needed to get all that off his chest. He felt better already.

Marco put the letter on Star’s desk and glanced at Glossaryck one more time to confirm he was indeed asleep. He opened a portal into the Wash and walked through it.

Upon reaching the other end, he saw Lavabo looking over a particularly large backpack. That must’ve been where he carried his supplies. The knight had a pencil and notepad in his hands, checking off various boxes.

“Ah, Marco Diaz, did you forget something?” the old man said, not even turning around. The sound of the portal was enough to tell him who was there.

“Um, so, you still have a room available for me?”

Lavabo turned to face the squire and smiled.