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Last night I attended a small interfaith dialogue dinner between Muslims and Mormons at Georgetown University. It was lovely. I made new friends.

One anecdote made me laugh. Prior to the event, Georgetown’s imam told Georgetown’s Mormon interfaith coordinator to —not— post the flier to Latter-day Saint groups and listserves in DC. Why? “Because if you do, then too many Mormons will show up.”

The imam has Mormon enthusiasm pegged precisely. My colleagues at CAIR tease me about the same phenomenon. Whenever I promote an event or cause on Facebook, my #MormonHorde shows up.

A few weeks ago I attended an excellent dialogue on Watergate and integrity in government featuring Bob Woodward and D. Todd Christofferson. (Coverage of Highlights: Deseret News, Salt Lake Tribune.) The Deseret News advertised it in some LDS Facebook groups — and the event went from obscurity to “sold out” in mere days. We packed the Newseum’s 500-person auditorium to overflowing.

A few months ago, The University of Virginia and its Mormon Studies Program held an alumni event in DC. They invited the nation’s top religion constitutional law professor, Douglas Laycock, to give a lecture. Non-alumni area Mormons got word of this, and turned out in droves. After all, Prof. Laycock wrote the Church’s amicus brief in Masterpiece Cakeshop. Again: standing room only in a hall that sat 500.

I’ve seen the sensation more times than I can count. If we just float a flier into the Mormon ether, our community is so enthusiastic, our top concern is often that there will be too many guests, not too few.

Throughout my life I’ve lived in or regularly attended wards in Florida, Indiana, Virginia, New England, Seattle, California, London and Spain — and visited countless others. My overwhelming experience has been that Mormons show up. Moving crews, cleaning brigades, meal trains, weddings, funerals, ward activities, informal dinner invitations and game nights — for events large and small, we show up.

I host parties frequently. I have large, diverse networks in the area crossing many faith and professional communities. But invariably, no matter how many personalized invitations I extend, 75%+ of my guests that show up are Mormon.

I’ve been trying to identify what drives this phenomenon. My theory is that it’s a byproduct or extension of our ward families. I’ve always loved that the ~300 person capped size of LDS congregations results in a fair amount of diversity in ages and experiences, and yet is small enough for everyone to know each other. This relatively small number of “deep” emotional connections feeds into a sense of trust that radiates across ward boundaries and interconnects into networks with the world at large.

But are our ward structures the only reason we show up? I’m not a social scientist, but I’m fascinated by this idea — what structures work to build community? Does every organization, regardless of faith or other identity, with 150-300 people plus weekly activities experience similar bonding results? I certainly hear people talk about their schools and intramural sports teams and book clubs and game nights in similar tones.

Maybe? And yet, this “showing up” doesn’t happen in other communities I participate in, at least not to the same extent, even when they’re structured similarly. Don’t get me wrong: Catholic events are well-attended. CAIR events are well-attended. Indiana University alumni events are well-attended. Tech conferences are well-attended. Occasionally, those events burgeon into blockbusters. But more often, the events have this precarious feel of teetering on the brink of disaster and no-shows. Paid event coordinators are often scrambling up to the last minute to lock down enthusiasm and attendance.

Even when attendance at events in my other communities is high, the sense of cross-conversation outside of the people you already know is often low. People stick to their preexisting cliques and conversationally breaking in can be awkward. By contrast, whenever I attend a new ward or other event teeming with Mormons, I am quickly overwhelmed by the sheer number of genuine introductions and conversations that happen spontaneously. What drives that social dynamic?

Maybe my perspective is all skewed. Maybe this showing up phenomenon does happen in other communities, but I’m not tapped in deeply enough to them to see it? I certainly hear reports from friends with other interests about the hot-ticket events they’re planning to attend that weekend, but for which I’m on the outskirts of the invitee social circles. Do I just notice more Mormons showing up because that happens to be my personal, deepest network?

I don’t think so. Because the same friends often express holy envy over the strength of Mormon communities. They marvel at my confidence that I could move nearly anywhere in the world and be surrounded by friends instantaneously. They, like the Georgetown Imam, have observed the evidence that Mormons show up.

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P.S. I recognize there are (sadly) many wards where everyone is overtaxed, the support structures are not robust, or the insular nature of the community turns its energy more towards judgment and isolation than welcoming and inclusion. By and large, that has not been my experience. But I know it has been the painful experience of many of my friends. For that, I am profoundly sorry. We can do better. I pray that the strengths of Mormon’s social dynamics can inspire us to more faithful and inclusive action.

*Photo by Ezra Comeau-Jeffrey on Unsplash