You got…

Europe’s Living a Celebration! This is an extraordinary effort. You’re a solid gold Eurovision expert. The Eurovision Song Contest is the highlight of your year. You host sprawling Eurovision parties, with themed snacks for everyone and a violently enforced fancy-dress policy. Actually, you probably shouldn’t be particularly proud of yourself. You’re a control freak and a monster.

Congratulations! You’re a regular Željko Joksimović (the Serbian host of the 2008 Eurovision Song Contest). This result must make you feel like a Süper Star (the title of the Turkish entry in 2006). You could fill the Nederlands Congresgebouw (the host venue for the 1976 and 1980 contests) with your knowledge and skill (a line from We’ve Got a World to Build, the 1986 German entry by Ingrid Peters).

Take Me To Your Heaven! To paraphrase Roy Walker (who is Irish, which is relevant because Ireland has won Eurovision before), you’re good but you’re not right. You gave this quiz your best shot, but you simply didn’t have enough Eurovision knowledge to succeed. Better luck next time.

Boom Bang-A-Bang! You have an almost completely average knowledge of Eurovision. You’ll watch it if nothing else is on, but you won’t remember who won it. You’re afraid to commit, basically, and this is why your life is such a mess.

Come Back! This is a decidedly poor show. Look at you. How can anyone possibly take you seriously when you don’t know the difference between the 1968 Norwegian entry and the 1972 Finnish entry? How can you take yourself seriously? Go and buy a glittery cowboy hat and sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done.

Running Scared! You have an abysmal knowledge of Eurovision, and you should be ashamed of yourself. There’s only one remedy for this – you need to go away and immerse yourself in Eurovision performances around the clock until next month’s final. Or until you die. Whichever comes first.