(Ed. Note: As the Stanley Cup Playoffs continue, we're bound to lose some friends along the journey. We've asked for these losers, gone but not forgotten, to be eulogized by the people who knew the teams best: The fans who hated them the most. Here is The Royal Half, Los Angeles Kings blog, fondly recalling the 2011-12 San Jose Sharks. Again, this was not written by us ... OK, by all of us. Also: This is a roast and you will be offended by it, so don't take it so seriously.)

By The Royal Half

You see… I'm from Los Angeles.

And when I say "I'm from Los Angeles" I don't mean I'm from Riverside or just outside Orange County. My childhood was spent at most of the locations featured in Fast Times at Ridgemont High and as one of the three people who were actually born and raised in Los Angeles there is one thing I've learned growing up in Southern California…

I hate Northern California.

This is pretty much anyone from Northern California.

Did you ever see that episode of South Park where the Dad buys a Prius and all of a sudden his farts stop smelling and he moves the family to San Francisco because they fit in better there? That pretty much sums up Northern California for me.

So imagine my shock when it was announced in 1990 that the Los Angeles Kings were no longer going to be California's sole representation in professional ice hockey and that the new team was going to be based in San Francisco! (or San Jose, whatever, what's the difference, really?)

Do they even like hockey up there?

I thought it was just all patchouli and crazy windy roads and Joe Montana.

You really can't get more "90's" than this.

Oh wait… yes you can.

That goalie riding the shark makes me really, really uncomfortable.

The real issue I have with the San Jose Sharks is that so many of my favorite Los Angeles Kings players have ended their careers in awkward teal instead of the iconic silver and black (or ugly purple and silver glitter) that I hoped to remember them in.

I'm just thankful I never had to witness this atrocity…

Story continues