Leading Republican Presidential candidate Ben Carson M.D. today admitted that his medical degree was purchased from a disreputable online college.

“It started off as a joke,” admitted Dr. Carson, “all my friends would say ‘you’re no brain surgeon, Ben’. They were making jokes about how stupid how I am all the time so I thought if I paid for a medical degree it would shut them up. I didn’t know that America was so desperate for doctors that I’d actually be employed as a brain surgeon. The whole thing just spiralled out of control.”

Carson said he paid just $500 and watched a thirty minute video to receive his medical degree from the Chattanooga Online College of Knowledge: “It’s the best $500 I’ve ever spent. I’m on the cusp of becoming the Republican nominee for President of the United States of America despite having little to no political insight or common sense. It’s the American dream. COCK has been very good to me.”



Carson’s admission has seen him rise 3% in the opinion polls.

Rather than attack his political rival, Donald Trump actually applauded Carson’s educational path: “Hey, have you seen most academic? They’re nerdy little losers who don’t know the first thing about making money. Carson cut out a decade of wasted time and I respect that.”



The Chattanooga Online College of Knowledge has defended its ‘quick and easy degrees for cash’ policy saying that a degree from COCK is worth about the same as one from any other college.