“You making more nerd notes?”

Weird fact: I became a fan of the webcomic Homestuck within three days of learning that Rebecca Sugar existed.

On Friday, October 8th, 2010, my best friend finally convinced me to read MS Paint Adventures, and I went in hard to catch all the way up over the weekend; for reference to those who’ve read it, the Hivebent arc had recently ended so said friend needed someone to talk to about it. I never got into the fandom, instead pretty much exclusively geeking out and theorizing with my bud, but I did leave the slightest of marks by being responsible for Sollux Captor’s canonical full name, Solluxander, so that’s nice.

I know the exact day because It Came From the Nightosphere premiered the Monday after that weekend, and a little research shows that was October 11th, 2010. I vividly remember watching it and realizing how lucky I was to be a huge nerd in a world where Homestuck and Adventure Time were both a thing. And I remember just as vividly watching the opening credits and thinking “there is no way this children’s show animator is actually named Sugar.”

Memory lane aside, I recently finished rereading Homestuck for the first time since it finished in 2016, and as a cooldown from a solid month of inundating myself in its lore (and because I wanted to goof around rather than sit down and write a review this week what with American Thanksgiving travel) I decided to bestow Sburbian classes and aspects to the cast of Steven Universe. With the bonus challenge of not repeating any class or aspect for the twelve chosen characters. Surprise, the guy who writes weekly reviews of a cartoon is kind of a dork.

There are gonna be spoilers for Steven Universe and Homestuck here (the former a bit more than the latter). If you’re not into Homestuck this likely won’t do much for you, and if you’re into Homestuck but not into Steven Universe this is equally unlikely to do much for you, but if you’re into both, hoo boy.

Because I don’t half-ass it when I go full nerd, I’m including a reference for my interpretation of what each class does (because there’s no canonical definition for most classes). Aspects are defined here. If you’ve never read Homestuck, it’s incredibly dense and over 8000 pages long but is one of the best things I’ve ever read, and I’m an actual librarian. If you’ve never watched Steven Universe and wandered over here because of tags or something, give it a watch, because it’s one of the best things I’ve ever watched, and I work in children’s media.

Steven: The Heir of Blood

Steven could be defined by any number of aspects: the do-gooder conviction of Hope, the healing nature of Life, the free spirit of Breath, the identity introspection of Heart, all of these could work. But more than anything else, Steven is defined by his ability to bring people together. He values being part of a team and sees virtually everyone as a potential friend. When folks are fighting, he’s the first to try and resolve it, and gets frustrated when he’s unable to do anything to help. His powers come from his emotions, but his emotions come from his ties to his family and community. He’s a child of two worlds and gains strength from his bonds to both.

It’s tempting to classify our growing hero as a Page, but his innate magnetism and series-wide ability to help people makes him far more fitting as an Heir; it takes a while for certain powers to develop, but his empathy isn’t one of them. Steven is the literal heir of two legacies—a mystical Gem warrior and a mundane human musician—and by simply existing he embodies unity. He’s a natural leader despite not being sure of himself, inspiring others to act just by being who he is.

Rose Quartz: The Thief of Breath

Rose’s connection with Steven makes their opposing aspects fascinating. Breath is the aspect of freedom and flexibility, and is often associated with leaders in the same way Blood is. However, Breath players are more whimsical and individualistic compared to the group-focused nature of Blood, leading incidentally and prioritizing freedom to a degree that, if left unchecked, can lead to selfishness.

As a Thief, Rose initially lacks her aspect, and indeed feels overwhelmed by the bonds of her duty as Pink Diamond. She has to “steal” freedom by taking another identity; while she also takes freedom for others, a sign of the more passive Rogue class, this sharing is a byproduct of her initial goal to help herself. Rose’s nuanced fulfillment on her role can be seen in a nutshell in her relationship with Pearl: for better and worse, she takes Pearl’s Breath away. Pearl gains the benefits of Pink’s freedom from Gem society but remains bound to Rose for millennia, and has her freedom to speak of certain secrets stolen even after Rose’s death. In the same way, Pink’s increase in freedom that allowed her to become Rose in the first place came with Spinel losing what little she freedom had, becoming trapped by her lasting bond. Rose is neither a saint nor a monster, but an unready and often thoughtless leader who got in over her head at the prospect of living free.

Greg: The Bard of Void

Greg may be a musician, but his Bard classification comes more from being the ultimate wildcard to Gem society. Nobody would have expected a human to change the course of Gem history so quickly and thoroughly, and these hidden depths are a staple of both Bards and Void players. Greg represents an enticing unknown, especially to Rose, and as such invites Void to destroy the Gems’ longstanding status quo. He also invites the destruction of Void by prompting Steven’s existence, which sets off the unraveling of Rose’s many secrets. Even Greg himself is likely unaware of his immense influence, which is the perfect attitude for such a passive Void player.

Ruby: The Rogue of Time

Ruby is impulsive and unable to let sleeping dogs lie, and will fight fate itself to do what she thinks is right: in short, a typical Time player, down to her association with fire. As a Rogue, she can change the future not only for herself, but for Sapphire (and by extension, the Crystal Gems as a whole), stealing the certainty of Time to give her team the confidence to redirect the timeline. She shares a Rogue’s tendency to put others so highly above herself that it harms her self-image, and needs friends and loved ones that reassure her of her worth.

Sapphire: The Seer of Mind

Sapphire’s role may seem obvious, even boring: of course she’s a Seer, she’s literally a seer, and her ability to vividly predict the logical outcomes of events makes her a shoo-in for a player of Mind. But I’d say the ease at which her role is predicted is perfect for a character defined by seeing things coming. She’s worth comparing to Terezi Pyrope, Homestuck’s Seer of Mind (and the only original canon class getting repped on this list) to see how individuals can vary even with the same role. Terezi is manipulative and, well, trolly, but despite her ability to play several steps ahead she’s wracked with regret and indecision as her powers develop. Sapphire is passive and distant, and a far more confident prophet, to the point where she can get too sure of one future to see other possibilities. Both have people problems, but Terezi leans meaner and Sapphire leans icier.

Garnet: The Seer of Time

I think it makes sense for close fusions to combine the classes and aspects from the beings that create them, so Garnet takes her class from Sapphire and her aspect from Ruby.



Garnet is the perfect blend of Ruby and Sapphire, and as a Seer of Time can predict a vast expanse of timelines with ease, knowing all the while how easily they can be changed. As a Seer, she uses this knowledge primarily to help and lead others, but as a Time player, she’s particularly active and is more than capable of getting her gauntlets dirty. Her mastery of Time lets her play out many scenarios and attempt to pick the best outcome, and gives the illusion of lightning-fast reflexes; this isn’t to say her reflexes aren’t good on their own, but it’s easy to react to something you know is coming. As with any Seer, her vision isn’t absolute, but her future-oriented aspect combines with her predictive class to make her a potent prognosticator.

Amethyst: The Witch of Heart

More than any other Crystal Gem, Amethyst is obsessed with herself. This isn’t simply to say she’s selfish (although certainly she can be), but that she feels a pressing need to define herself to herself and to others. She was created to be a warrior, but has a body far smaller and weaker than average and must overcome the angst caused by this difference between who she allegedly should be and who she is. She also straddles the line between alien and earthling, as someone with an extraterrestrial background who has always called Earth home: she’s far more comfortable engaging with human customs than Garnet or Pearl, while simultaneously being more comfortable using her Gem powers just to goof off. While her focus on her own issues can make her blind to the needs of others at worst, at best it helps her empathize with her friends and strive to help them with their own self-image problems. This level of introspection is what you would expect from a Heart player.

As a Witch, Amethyst has continually shown her aptitude for manipulating Heart, most obviously in her affinity for shapeshifting. While it’s often used as a way to avoid introspection, rebelling against her aspect, Amethyst’s fluid form is also a way to expand the notion of what “herself” even is. She displays a Witch’s signature loopiness and creative approach to problems, often presenting unusual solutions to help her friends understand themselves more clearly. By coming to terms with who she is and what her limits are, she learns to bypass these limits with workarounds.

Pearl: The Knight of Light

Sapphire and Garnet may foretell the future, and Peridot may have a knack for logic and machines, but Pearl is the most intellectual Crystal Gem. She seeks and absorbs information like a sponge and combines it with millennia of experience to tremendous tactical effect. She’s frustrated by secrets, and is devastated when deceived by those she trusts and loves (not that this stops her from the occasional bout of deception, nobody’s perfect). Her affinity for facts doesn’t make her an unfeeling machine of logic; far from it, she’s defined by intense emotions, both positive and negative. She is, like almost any Light player, a nerd: she passionately and sometimes obsessively longs to know everything about her interests, and wants to make sure everyone else knows it.

As a Knight, Pearl quickly reorients her servile caste to become a fierce protector. From the start her service was marked by knowledge, and she protected Pink Diamond with fresh ideas and fast thinking. Not a born warrior, she gained combat prowess through education instead of instinct, and as such is an expert in weapons beyond her signature spear. It’s an understatement to simply call her self-sacrificial, as she often puts the safety of her loved ones at such a high priority that she loses sight of her own value. As is common to Knights, her loud confidence in her mastery of her aspect (in this case, her intellect) hides secret insecurity over her worthiness to wield it, and her growth requires her to balance these two extremes.

Connie: The Mage of Hope

Connie is defined by high intelligence and strong convictions, which is an ideal combination for an effective Hope player. While she’s a regular human, her love of fantasy stories became real not only through her friendship with Steven, but her own hard work; nowadays, she’s the most magical pure human alive. Her intense power of belief makes amazing things possible, and even without fusing she’s able to hold her own against much stronger opponents than anyone could have expected. She has a firm sense of what’s right, and isn’t afraid to call out Steven, her mother, or even herself when she feels that a wrong has been committed.

As a Mage, Connie began as a loner, focusing on her aspect by reading and dreaming. As soon as she gets the chance she applies herself to join Steven’s magical world, fighting alongside him even without training when the ocean is stolen and soon becoming a swordswoman to live her dream. She welcomes new opportunities such as fusion without hesitation, following her instinctive understanding of Hope. While she’s more of a team player than a typical Mage, she has her class’s signature independent streak (see again: calling out Steven) and is known to get lost in her thoughts. Her fantasy life may come from her connections to others, but her thoughtfulness and strong convictions come from within and have guided her every step of the way.

Stevonnie: The Mage of Blood

If a Mage is a player who uses deep understanding of their aspect to direct their own actions, and Blood is the aspect of creating strong bonds, then combining the two makes a player personally guided by their understanding of unity. Stevonnie embodies the bond of two people in a deeply individual and unique way, which may define fusions as a whole, but particularly works for the fusion of a human and a Gem. As Stevonnie, Steven and Connie have each other, and are empowered by their tight bond, but nobody else truly understands their experience. They’re alone together.

Peridot: The Page of Space

Peridot is a creator. She’s a Kindergartner responsible for making new Gems, which alone aligns her with the core duties of a Hero of Space. However, she’s also a whiz at constructing machines, dabbles in art Meep Morps, and grows plants with her literal green thumb. Like most Space players, she gathers knowledge from beyond the stars to gain an information advantage over other players, but her slow-burning class and natural irritability inhibits her from sharing this data with her team in a meaningful way for quite a while.

As a Page, Peridot’s journey towards self-realization is long and slow, and requires the help of others to guide her path. She initially shows no signs of individuality, following orders like a worker bee for Homeworld; she’s a cog in the machine, rather than a true maker. Only when she joins the Crystal Gems does she gradually come into her own, with her creativity evolving from practical machines to artistic representation to organic life. While initially appearing to have no traditional powers, she discovers through the intervention of others that she can manipulate certain objects in space, but even this process is slow and takes work. If she ever meets her full potential, Peridot’s abilities will be a sight to see; Change Your Mind and the movie suggest that she’s on her way!

Lapis Lazuli: The Maid of Doom

Doom is the aspect of sufferers, so…yeah, that’s Lapis. Captured under false pretenses, interrogated for information she didn’t have, broken and left behind on a foreign planet, and trapped for thousands of years, only to find a scary and unfamiliar world when she was finally released. Not much else to say, this is a blatant case of Doom.

While her physical strength is around average for a Gem, Lapis’s total mastery of water makes her perhaps the most powerful being on Earth, and she’s shown a willingness to use it to bestow Doom in a manner befitting a Maid (and, like we’ve seen in other Maids, learns this skill after withstanding major ordeals). Whether it’s stealing the ocean away, fusing with Jasper to form a terrifying monster, or abandoning her friends when the going gets rough, Lapis actively causes suffering. This direct application of her aspect makes it difficult for the empathy typical of a Doom player to shine, but that doesn’t mean it isn’t there: she forms a tight connection with Steven for befriending her, and with Peridot for their mutual situation as Homeworld fugitives.

Bismuth: The Sylph of Rage

Bismuth is a rebel among rebels. Her loyalty is to truth and the destruction of oppressive institutions, and she has little room for anything short of absolute devotion to this cause. These are the tenets of a classic Rage player, willing to tear everything down to make a better world, even if that means fighting against your own leaders upon sensing insincerity or lack of conviction. She’s a stubborn revolutionary, but that doesn’t mean she’s incapable of friendship or some nuance, as her team-oriented class mitigates her one-track aspect.

As a Sylph, Bismuth encourages the development of Rage in others. She pushes her friends to join her rebellious mindset and topple oppression wherever it rears its head. She does this not only with rousing speeches but the creation and refining of weaponry for her allies in hopes of furthering the cause. A more individualistic class might lead to an even more extreme revolutionary who’s fine working solo, so fortunately Bismuth’s alignment keeps her from getting too absolutist in her zeal.

Jasper: The Prince of Life

(Princess if you wanna get technical and bisyllabic, but the gender-specific roles of classes are arbitrary and dumb)

Jasper was fighting from the moment she was born, hell-bent on defeating those that would prevent the continuation of Life for Gems. However, this meant her goal was destroying Life for organics, as the nature of Gem reproduction meant it was impossible for both to continue on Earth. Life as a game construct also relates to “the betterment of themselves and those around them,” which Jasper certainly lives by, but she’s also willing to destroy herself and those around her through toxic fusion. She thus fulfills both interpretations of a Prince player, using Life to destroy as well as destroying Life. Through her destruction of Life qualities, Jasper superficially resembles a Doom player in the same way a Prince of Heart might resemble a Mind player: Jasper makes everyone, herself included, suffer. This is perhaps what draws her to Lapis, herself a clear-cut Doom player.

I’m contemplating a sequel series of sorts with other characters, but I likely won’t do it until Future is done. Stay tuned!