The second thing I’m struck by is our need to wage war on the things that compete for Jesus’ place as my Savior. It’s not that Starbucks, Mountain Dew, shopping, or the like are sinful in themselves, but if we find ourselves moving towards those for life, then they become idols. But the sad truth is that many of us matter-of-factly proclaim our dependence on/need for/addiction to many things that aren’t Jesus. As Paul said, “Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial….I will not be mastered by anything.” We are mastered by things that we can’t separate from. And being mastered by anything other than The Master isn’t okay for a disciple.

Lastly, we must consider how non-Christians process the disparity between what we claim to be true about Jesus and where we turn to find Life. When we live in relationship with others, they can see whether Jesus is the difference or if He’s an impersonal doctrine. How we handle our weaknesses speaks volumes to everyone around us. A mature disciple has learned how to find true life in Christ…and how to wait on Him when we feel like something else will satisfy more than Him.

I’m in that learning process. A verse that’s helping me lately is, Lamentations 3:22-24,

"Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, 'The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him.'”

If the Lord is my portion, then I must wait for Him to fill what’s lacking in me. As I experience fear, disappointment, relational pain, brokenness, or grief, I lean into the truth that He is my portion. Life is found in Him, not in Starbucks, a Mountain Dew can, or anything other than Him.

This is discipleship. The process of becoming like Him. Day by day, taking up our cross by wading into deep uncomfortable waters, denying ourselves of the easy fix, and pursuing Him as our Savior. Not just when we feel like He’s worthy, but moment by moment when we experience internal pain.

That’s what Philippians 3:10-11 speaks of, “I want to know Christ and the fellowship of His suffering, becoming like Him in His death, so that somehow we can attain resurrection from the dead.” We must die in order to resurrect.

It's in these habits that the life of a disciple becomes powerful and takes on a quality that others can experience as they know who we are, not what we believe. Those close to us can see both our struggle and our inward renewal.

Death then resurrection then multiplication. It all begins in us. The life of Christ multiplying its influence through our brokenness.

What are you making your first love?