Excerpt from Psychiatric Interview with SCP-4504

Interviewed: SCP-4504

Interviewer: Doctor White

Foreword: An excerpt from SCP-4504’s first interview with its most recent appointed psychiatrist on 18/09/2019. Two site security officers were also present, as well as four more security officers waiting outside.

<Begin Log, 09:00>

Dr White: Hello, Dennis. My name is Dr White, but you can call me Angela, if you’d like. Please take a seat.

SCP-4504 chuckles.

SCP-4504: “Angela White”, huh? Your parents musta been so proud of that one.

SCP-4504 moves to the chair opposite Dr White and takes a seat.

Dr White: Yes, yes, I’ve heard it before. Now Dennis-

SCP-4504: 4504.

Dr White: I’m sorry?

SCP-4504: 4504. It’s my name. SCP-4504.

Dr White: I didn’t realise you preferred to be called that. Your file states you prefer to be addressed as your birth name.

SCP-4504: I haven’t been “Dennis” in a long time.

Dr White: Alright, I’ll keep that in mind. Treating you with respect is important to me. I'm here as your friend-

SCP-4504 snorts.

SCP-4504: You ain’t my friend. You’re one of them, tryna grind me down so I’ll be a good skip and sit quietly in my little concrete box without bothering anyone. You don't care about my mental health, you only care about keeping me contained. Let me ask you something. You read my file, yeah?

Dr White: Yes, that’s correct.

SCP-4504: So you know what I did to my three other psychiatrists?

Dr White: Yes. I certainly hope our relationship goes better.

SCP-4504: Well, that depends on you. You gonna put me on suicide watch?

Dr White: According to what I read in your file, suicide watch was largely ineffective, was mainly used to punish you for non-compliance and was the precipitating factor in a number of your violent episodes. So no, I don’t think I will be recommending it.

SCP-4504: You gonna try and hide drugs in my food?

Dr White: No.

SCP-4504: You gonna take away my leisure privileges if I talk back?

Dr White: No.

SCP-4504: If I tell you something’s wrong, are you gonna listen or are you gonna argue and say its really my fault?

Dr White: Wha- No! Of course not! How is that supposed to help you?

SCP-4504: Well fuck me then. You might be the best shrink I’ve ever had.

Dr White: I don’t want to jinx myself, but if your other psychiatrists did that then yes, I might be. Is there anything else you wanted to ask me before I get started?

SCP-4504: Can you draw me a map from here to Site Director Sandoval’s office with all the security patrol routes marked on it?

Dr White: No.

SCP-4504: Aaaahh, dangit. My cunning plan was foiled. I was so close, but you witty Foundation types managed to outfox me again. My search for Site Director Sandoval’s office continues.

Dr White: Yes, well. Going back to the subject of your file, I noticed there were a few important pieces of information missing from it.

SCP-4504: Please don’t say “we don’t know exactly how big your imaginary hands are”. Cuz let me tell you now, that ended badly for the last guys.

Dr White: No. It's about your… transformation.

SCP-4504: Oh?

Dr White: I looked through your file, but you’ve never really explained why you chose to mutilate yourself like that. I can’t even begin to imagine how painful a small area of your distortions must feel, and you chose to do that to your whole body. Why?

SCP-4504: What do you mean, why? I’m bulletproof. Regular guns don’t hurt me. Tasers bounce off me. It hurts so much I can’t even feel it if I get pepper sprayed. I’m stronger than any normal man and my long legs and arms mean I can run faster and reach further than I ever could back when I was normal. Well, sorta normal.

Dr White: But despite all that, you’ve never used them to escape. You did this to yourself, but your file says during containment breaches you’re more interested in hurting security staff than you are in actually escaping.

SCP-4504: Well, where would I go? I’m nine feet of freak. I could never hide like this. If I walked into any town with people in it they’d scream and run away. There’d be an MTF on me so fast they’d break the land speed record.

Dr White: But then why do it? Was giving up your chance at getting away really worth getting back at security officers?

SCP-4504: Oh, fuck off.

Dr White: I’m sorry? Have I said something that upsets you? I didn’t mean to-

SCP-4504: You said you read my file, yeah? You see how many of those escapes were working for me before I did this to myself?

Dr White: They weren’t as successful, yes. It’s why I thought you did it. To make your breaching containment more likely.

SCP-4504: Wrong. I kept hoping I’d get away again. First time I got out, I was outside for seven months. Seven whole months, where I could walk down a street with normal people, stand under the sky, go into shops. I got to eat whatever I wanted, drive cars, look at fuckin’ trees. Then I got caught and brought back here. The next time I only managed to stay away for eight weeks. Then one. Now I’m lucky if I get a few hours outside of containment. By the end there I wasn’t even making it all the way off Site-██ before I got caught and dragged back. I realised I was never going to escape. I looked around that little concrete box and I realised I was never going anywhere else. I was gonna die in Site-██, probably in that cell.

SCP-4504: You guys took everything from me. Everything. I even gave up my hands, watched ‘em get ripped off me by an ogre, and that didn’t even get me outside. The prosthetics you give me are crap, so I have to eat food like a dog. I was hurting so much. I couldn’t remember the last time I talked to someone who wasn’t staff. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d seen the sky. You guys took that from me.

SCP-4504: But you know something? You know what you can’t take from me? No matter how hard you try? You know the one thing I’ll always be able to enjoy?

Pause for three seconds.

Dr White: Vengeance?

SCP-4504: Fuckin’ vengeance. Lashing out at people who’ve hurt you so they hurt is something so basic, so fundamental, that even dogs understand it. I had nothing to lose. Worst case scenario, you keep me isolated from people, keep me trapped in my cell. I already deal with that shit, so why not? I’m already hurting so bad, it's not like it could make my pain worse. So why not?

Dr White: I see. Why not make yourself into a monster, if you already get treated like one?

SCP-4504: Exactly! Fuckin'- exactly. This way I can kill way more security, which is the only thing I get to enjoy anymore.

Dr White: What about leisure privileges? Your file mentioned you were something of an artist.

SCP-4504 snorts.

SCP-4504: Like that helps. Watching a TV in a dingy little room? Watching a shitty little pot-plant slowly wither and die? And how’m I supposed to paint something good when I only ever see the inside of this place? Plus most of it is really fucking awkward to use when you’ve got no hands.

Dr White: Well, we can start with that. I’m going to recommend a review of your leisure privileges to make them more accessible and enjoyable for you. I’m also going to recommend you be awarded socialisation privileges again, and that you be escorted around the outside perimeter of Site-██ once a week.

Four seconds of silence.

SCP-4504: What?

Dr White: That was something you asked for, years ago when you first joined us, wasn’t it? Being escorted around the facility once a week so you could see the outside world? And you said it yourself. A lot of your violence occurs as a result of your feelings of powerlessness and emotional distress, which are in turn caused by your social and physical isolation. I haven’t known you long, but it seems like letting you have these small privileges would vastly decrease both your distress and your violent tendencies. Of course these privileges would be contingent on your good behaviour, but you would understand that by now. I also can’t guarantee Site Director Sandoval will allow any of this, but I certainly intend to argue for it. Uh- with your permission of course.

Four seconds of silence.

SCP-4504: Jesus Christ, Angela! Fuck yes, I want this! Where have you been all this time? Shit, I’d kiss you but I’m fairly certain that’d start shit with the guards.

Dr White: Yes, probably. Now I had a few other things I thought you might like to talk about, if you don’t mind.