(One of my coworkers brought in a flat of fruit from one of her neighbour’s trees. All the staff are happily helping themselves except for me as I have an aversion to sweets and find most fruit too sweet for my palette.)

Dishwasher: “Why don’t you eat some fruit?”

Me: “I don’t like fruit.” *I explain my aversion to sweets*

Dishwasher: *eyes have a look of terror* “How do you poo?”