Black jerseys have been considered a scourge on the NHL.

Some teams have no business wearing them. They’re used for a cash grab, or because someone in marketing saw the sales figures for the Oakland Raiders for the last 20 years and said “GIMMIE.”

Since it’s Black Friday – a day dedicated to commercial excess and clichéd marketing – we figured it was a perfect time to look back at the history of black sweaters in the NHL, pit them against each other and come up with a definitive ranking … as definitive as one man’s opinion can be, when that man is nursing a turkey hangover.

Here are the Black Jerseys in NHL History: RANKED!

Please note that all the jerseys are linked to the NHL Uniform Database, so click the names to see the sweaters. Also note that these are for jerseys that are primarily black. So that Tampa jersey with the Lightning on it? That’s a blue jersey.

And here … we … go. (And let us know if we spaced on any. )

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38. New York Islanders (2012)

A steep downgrade from the typical jerseys, a boring crest, the clumsy introduction of gray … maybe they’ll work better with BROOKLYN on the front one day, because these looked like indoor lacrosse jerseys.

37. Dallas Stars Mooterous (2005)

On the plus side, the greatest sports uniform to ever feature a diagram of reproductive organs. At least until the Seattle Testes join the NHL.

36. Washington Capitals (1997)

Ugh. From the “trying too hard” files, the Capitals introduced this third jersey in 1997. We’ll assume the subsequent “Rock The Red” campaign was to compensate for sucking the patriotism out of this era of DC jerseys.

35. Anaheim Ducks (2006)

This is when the Ducks were all grows’d up, abandoning a logo crest for the team named with a webbed ‘D’. Mahaps the “other” team in SoCal should veer away from black as the primary base?

34. Ottawa Senators ‘O’ jerseys (2012)

Hey, just what a Senators fan needed: a target for gut-punches.

33. Pittsburgh Penguins (1992)

So drop the iconic logo and go with the faux RANGERS pageant sash? So disappointing.

32. San Jose Sharks (2002)

Another one of those “what have you done to earn this bad-assary?” jerseys. Unless this jersey was meant to symbolize what their arena looks like in June every season. And besides, teal rocks. Embrace the teal.

31. Dallas Stars (2007)

These aren’t bad, just bland, as evidenced by how stark and memorable their turn back to green was recently.

30. Los Angeles Kings (2007)

“Hey, where do I play?” *Checks crotch* “Oh, right, Los Angeles.”

29. Tampa Bay Lightning (2014)

Like the next entry, but devoid of any personality. Just blah.

28. Ottawa Senators SENS (2008)

The color scheme isn’t bad, but the logo launched a thousand “Super Nintendo Entertainment System” jokes.

27. Pittsburgh Penguins (1995)

This inexplicably became the Penguins’ primary logo during the Ian Moran era. The best team to ever look like a discount airline serving New Zealand.

26. Anaheim Ducks (2003)

Not a bad looking sweater, although not nearly as fun as their primary jerseys during the Mighty Ducks era.

25. Tampa Bay Lightning (2007)

A Reebok EDGE influenced redesign that made it seem like they were sweating blueberries.

24. Phoenix Coyotes (2008)

The logo was a nice change from the “swallowing Coyote” primary logo, but there really wasn’t anything all that memorable about the running ‘Yote.