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If you made this, DM me on Twitter and I'll mail you a wasp's nest filled with fabulous prizes!

Listen, I know I'm foaming at the mouth over some well-tread territory with all this Minion hate. There have been tons of discussions about how Minions have sullied the good name of the meme, rendering creativity and humor obsolete as we enter into this New Year. But I am still completely dumbfounded as to why Minions bled from the big screen and leaked all over our smartphones. I guess I get the appeal for kids, in the same way I get the appeal for the Teletubbies. Kids are dumb and love anything else that's dumb, colorful, and silly. But I've seen the actual Minions in action as an adult and have never felt like they were a viable representation of how I'm doing on a particular day. They pull that lowest common denominator, diarrhea of the mouth "banana" bullshit and speak in another language ... sometimes? They most assuredly never say something like this.

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These are all real images I have saved off my timeline in the past week. Educated, mature people scrolling through their timelines got a chuckle out of those images, maybe found something that spoke to them on a deeply profound level, and I'll be goddamned if they didn't press that share button. I don't want to sound like a curmudgeon here, because I know there are bigger things going on in the world, but isn't there anyone out there who, like me, just wants to know why??