Is anyone really surprised that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle have taken this decision? I’m not. We’ve all watched as they’ve suffered severe media scrutiny over the past year, constant speculation about their place in the Royal family, and immense pressure to remain poised and perfect in the face of it all. Interracial couples have always faced challenges. Even as we step into 2020, our society is more racially fraught than ever.

I am married to a white British man. When we first started dating, it was common to get stares from people, especially when we visited his family down in Devon. In a small seaside town, it was an anomaly to see a white man walking down the road hand in hand with a brown woman. Besides gapes and gawks, and people’s surprise when they realised we were together, or due to get married, we were lucky enough not to receive any explicit discrimination – we were sheltered by our very multicultural academic environs.

But that doesn’t mean we’ve avoided it completely. There have been times when I have received subtle hints that I was only marrying my husband to get a British citizenship. It was never the case, and I found myself anxiously explaining this to a number of people. Even registering for our civil ceremony (and then the ceremony itself) was much like a lengthy interrogation from the celebrants trying to make sure that we were indeed marrying for love.

Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down Show all 20 1 /20 Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down July 2016 Meghan and Harry met through mutual friends in London in July 2016 when one of the former-actor's confidants, Markus Anderson, reportedly introduced them. Anderson is linked with private members club Soho House, of which Harry is a member, but it wasn't until months after the initial London meeting that their burgeoning romance made headlines. Getty Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down November 2016 Photographs of the couple together were published in the press, showing them on holidays, at friend's weddings and eating out in London making the news. But it was by way of an unprecedented statement that their relationship was officially announced. Kensington Palace, writing on behalf of Harry, stated that the harassment being experienced by Meghan and her family, saying a “line had been crossed”. “His girlfriend, Meghan Markle, has been subject to a wave of abuse and harassment,” the statement continued, citing "sexism" and "racism". "He knows commentators will say this is ‘the price she has to pay’ and that ‘this is all part of the game’. He strongly disagrees. This is not a game - it is her life and his," the statement read. "He has asked for this statement to be issued in the hopes that those in the press who have been driving this story can pause and reflect before any further damage is done." Getty Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down October 2017 In October 2017, Meghan conducted her first public interview since news of the relationship emerged with Vanity Fair, in which she opened up about what it is like to date a member of the royal family. “It has its challenges, and it comes in waves—some days it can feel more challenging than others,” she told the publication. “And right out of the gate it was surprising the way things changed. But I still have this support system all around me, and, of course, my boyfriend’s support.” Getty Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down November 2017 The couple announced their engagement in November and were interviewed by the BBC's Mishal Hussain at their home, Frogmore Cottage, in Windsor, about the news. During the interview, Harry opened up about how much he enjoyed being with someone from outside his inner circle. "It was hugely refreshing," he said before discussing the trip they took to Botswana together shortly after meeting. "To be able to start almost afresh right from the beginning in getting to know each other step by step and then taking that huge leap of only two dates and then going effectively on holiday together in the middle of nowhere and sharing a tent together and all that kind of stuff. It was fantastic. It was absolutely amazing to get to know her as quickly as I did." Harry proposed to Meghan with a custom ring made by court jewellers Cleave and Company using one diamond sourced from Botswana and two smaller stones from Princess Diana's collection. Getty Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down December 2017 Princess Michael of Kent apologised for wearing a “racist” broach to the Queen's Christmas lunch at Buckingham Palace, that was also attended by Meghan and was her first Christmas with the royal family. The princess, who is married to the Queen's cousin, was pictured wearing a prominent piece of "blackamoor" jewellery pinned to her coat as she arrived at the annual royal family gathering. The princess was widely condemned for wearing the "blatantly racist" piece to the Palace and a spokesperson for the royal said she was “very sorry and distressed” that it had caused offence. They added that the brooch “was a gift and has been worn many times before.” Getty Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down May 2018 On 19 May, Meghan and Harry married at St George’s Chapel, Windsor Castle. The bride and groom continued to defy convention at the wedding by putting a modern spin on everything from the cake to ceremony itself. The couple chose Reverend Michael Curry, the first black presiding bishop and primate of the Episcopal Church, to deliver a powerful sermon about love. The joyous day was somewhat dampened after it was revealed that Thomas Markle Sr, Meghan's father, would not be there to walk her down the aisle. Instead, Meghan walked herself down the aisle until she was joined by Prince Charles, who gave her away. In an interview with TMZ, Meghan's father admitted to conspiring with a photographer to pose for staged paparazzi photos. As a result of his admission, he felt it would be best to not walk her down the aisle because he didn't want to “embarrass the royal family or his daughter.” He also shared that he had suffered a heart attack six days prior due to the stresses of the situation. Getty Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down October 2018 Since their wedding, speculation had been mounting that Meghan and Harry were expecting their first child but confirmation didn't come until 15 October, just as the couple were about to kick off their autumn tour of Australasia. Kensington Palace announced that the newlyweds were “very pleased” to be expecting a baby in the spring of 2019. “Their Royal Highnesses The Duke and Duchess of Sussex are very pleased to announce that The Duchess of Sussex is expecting a baby in the Spring of 2019,” the palace said in a statement. “Their Royal Highnesses have appreciated all of the support they have received from people around the world since their wedding in May and are delighted to be able to share this happy news with the public.” However, some people accused the royal couple of “insensitivity” over the decision to reveal the news during Baby Loss Awareness Week. Getty Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down October 2018 - March 2019 During her pregnancy Meghan, like many prospective mothers, would cradle her bump or place her hand on her stomach during public events. But the royal mother was criticised with some saying she was doing it for “photo opportunities”. Meanwhile conspiracy theorists took to Twitter with hashtags like #Megxit and #DuchessofDeception, claiming that Meghan was not pregnant and had been strapping on a pillow or a bespoke prosthetic. Getty Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down May 2019 On 6 May 2019, Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor was born at the Portland Hospital in London after Meghan went into labour in the early hours of the morning. The birth was a break from tradition with previous royals, including the Duchess of Cambridge, who have previously used the Lindo Wing at St Mary’s Hospital in London to give birth. Meghan also chose not to pose for an '"on the steps" moment after leaving hospital like other royal mothers. Instead, the duke and duchess presented baby Archie to the world at a press briefing at St George’s Hall at Windsor Castle. The couple later revealed they chose not to use the courtesy title Earl Dumbarton, which Archie was allowed to use, nor to style him Lord Archie Mountbatten-Windsor, opting for “Master” instead. Getty Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down May 2019 Danny Baker was fired by the BBC after tweeting about the royal baby using a photo of a chimpanzee. The former BBC Radio 5 Live host was criticised for the post, which he shared moments after the Duke and Duchess of Sussex revealed their son, Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor, to the world. The tweet featured a black-and-white photograph of a couple holding hands with a chimp dressed in a suit alongside the caption: “Royal baby leaves hospital”. Baker swiftly removed the post after receiving backlash from Twitter users who branded it as “racist” due to Meghan's mixed-heritage. The 61-year-old later apologised, writing: “Sorry my gag pic of the little fella in the posh outfit has whipped some up. “Never occurred to me because, well, mind not diseased. Soon as those good enough to point out it’s possible connotations got in touch, down it came. And that’s it. “Now stand by for sweary football tweets.” Getty Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down June 2019 The BBC showed a comedy programme, Tonight With Vladimir Putin, which portrayed the Duchess of Sussex saying “Stay the f*** out of my trailer or I’ll cut you, Kate. Both episodes of the programme included a feature entitled "Meghan Markle’s Royal Sparkle". In one episode The Duchess of Sussex's character was asked what makes her angry. The character replied with an anecdote about the Duchess of Cambridge asking to borrow her hairbrush. “I say no because that’s gross and then I leave my room and come back and I can tell she’s used my hairbrush anyway because it’s covered in skanky hair that’s going grey and I say, ‘Stay the f*** out of my trailer or I’ll cut you, Kate,’” she yelled. The show also made fun of the Duchess’s relationship with her father, Thomas Markle. Getty Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down June 2019 In June 2019 the Duke and Duchess of Sussex received criticism after it was revealed that their home was renovated with £2.4m of taxpayer-funded costs. Frogmore Cottage in Windsor was turned into a single property for Harry and Meghan, from five separate homes. While the couple, who moved from Kensington Palace in April before the birth of their son Archie, paid for any upgraded fixtures and fittings themselves, royal accounts showed that the public fund met the cost of replacing heating, electric, gas and water main systems, as well as replacing ceiling beams and floor joists. Frogmore Cottage is owned by the Crown Estate and was a gift to the couple from the Queen, who was kept updated on the work. It had not been the subject of work for some years, and had already been earmarked for renovation. Getty Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down July 2019 Meghan and Harry chose to christen Archie at an intimate ceremony attended by close family. Royal baptisms are traditionally private but the couple went one step further by going against convention and deciding not to announce Archie’s godparents. "The godparents, in keeping with their wishes, will remain private," a statement from Buckingham Palace read. Speculation remained rife as to who had been named the godparents of Meghan and Prince Harry's son, with contenders including media mogul Oprah Winfrey, fashion stylist Jessica Mulroney and Hollywood actor George Clooney. The duke and duchess' decision sparked huge criticism among royal watchers. “They have to give the public something,” wrote one person on Twitter. “We are paying them and it feels like they do not care about the public.” Getty Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down August 2019 Harry and Meghan were heavily criticised for using private jets to go on holiday with Archie to the south of France. Many people accused the couple of hypocrisy given their staunch views on environmentalism. It came after two other European trips, including one to Ibiza for Meghan’s birthday and another to Sicily where Harry flew to discuss climate change at a conference. Harry later defended the use of the transport by claiming it was to “ensure their safety”. Meanwhile, Sir Elton John publicly defended the couple. Speaking in Amsterdam for a new flying scheme, Harry said: "I came here by commercial. I spend 99 per cent of my life travelling the world by commercial. Occasionally there needs to be an opportunity based on a unique circumstance to ensure that my family are safe. It's genuinely as simple as that." Getty Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down August 2019 Prince William and Harry had been at the centre of rift rumours for months, ever since it emerged that the Sussexes were moving to Windsor. In August, the speculation came to a head with royal sources and experts claiming the brothers have drifted apart. Appearing on Channel 5’s documentary William & Harry: Princes At War? royal expert and editor of Majesty magazine Ingrid Seward said: “I would think it might bother William a little bit, because he might see the way that Harry and Meghan do things as being detrimental to the business of the monarchy as a whole.” Seward added that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were surprised by Harry and Meghan's whirlwind romance, saying: "It was all so quick that William and Kate didn't have a moment to get to know Meghan because Harry hardly knew Meghan. "And of course William and Kate would have quite naturally thought 'oh she's been married before, she's older than Harry, I hope she's going to make him happy'. Anyone would think that." Getty Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down September 2019 In August it was announced that Meghan Markle was to guest-edit the September issue of British Vogue magazine. The cover of the special edition featured a grid of 15 women selected as “Forces for Change” and articles inside that had been commissioned by the duchess. While the response was largely positive, some people criticised her choice of women, which did not include the Queen, and questioned whether or not a member of the royal family should edit a magazine, despite several others having done so before. “I feel like I need to bring a bit of reality to the situation. “We're talking about Vogue magazine. Probably the most elite, expensive, snobby, fashion-dominated, skinny-dominated magazine in the entire world. This is not some great mainstream force for good. This is a magazine for the elite.” Brexit Party MEP Ann Widdecombe also took aim for picking political stars, saying: “Royals have not only got to keep out of politics but they have got to be seen to keep out of politics.” British Vogue/Peter Lindbergh Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down October 2019 In October 2019, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex took part in an ITV documentary about their royal tour to southern Africa. In Harry & Meghan: An African Journey, Harry opened up about his aversion to paparazzi and confessed that he and his brother, the Duke of Cambridge, are on “different paths”, fuelling speculation that the two have grown apart. Meanwhile, the Duchess of Sussex revealed she had been struggling with criticisms in the media, telling ITV’s Tom Bradby that she was not really “okay”. Bradby later said that the couple seemed “vulnerable” and “bruised” during the filming and revealed he knew that things weren’t “entirely rosy” for the couple ahead of filming. “The reality I found was just a couple that seemed a bit bruised and vulnerable,” Bradby told Good Morning America. “That was the story I found and it seemed the right journalistic thing to do, to try and tell that story as empathetically as I could.” Getty Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down October 2019 Following the ITV documentary, Meghan and Harry issued an official statement, in which the duke said he could no longer be a "silent witness" to Meghan's "private suffering". “There is a human cost to this relentless propaganda, specifically when it is knowingly false and malicious, and though we have continued to put on a brave face – as so many of you can relate to – I cannot begin to describe how painful it has been," the statement read. In the same statement, it was confirmed that Meghan had filed a claim against Associated Newspapers "over the intrusive and unlawful publication of a private letter written by the Duchess of Sussex, which is part of a campaign by this media group to publish false and deliberately derogatory stories about her, as well as her husband." The proceedings in the Chancery Division of the High Court related to the unlawful publication of a private letter from Meghan to her father. Getty Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down December 2019 In December, the Duke and Duchess of Sussex released their first Christmas card with their son, Archie Harrison Mountbatten Windsor. The seven-month-old took centre stage in the black-and-white photograph, staring right down the camera lens while his parents laugh behind him with a Christmas tree in the background. While many royal fans were overjoyed by the image, others accused Meghan of using Photoshop to sharpen her own face so it would stand out more. Meghan’s close friends, Janina Gavankar, who captured the photo, spoke out to defend the couple on Instagram, writing: “So proud to have taken the Christmas photo for one of my best friends and her family." She also clarified that the photo had not been edited. The couple enjoy a six-week break in Canada with Meghan's mother, Doria Ragland. Sussexroyal/Instagram Everything that led to Prince Harry and Meghan Markle stepping down January 2020 Meghan and Harry are pictured at Canada House in London to thank the Canadian high commission for their “warm hospitality” following their trip over Christmas. One day later, on Wednesday 8 January, rumours about the couple possibly moving to Canada begin to surface, which Buckingham Palace initially refused to deny. At 6pm on Wednesday evening, Meghan and Harry announce their decision to relinquish their roles as “senior” members of the royal family in an Instagram post on @SussexRoyal. Their statement is followed by one from Buckingham Palace describing discussions regarding the move as being “at an early stage”. It is later understood that the couple did not consult any members of the royal family prior to releasing their statement and the mood at Buckingham Palace was one of “disappointment”. Getty

At every step, I had to prove my commitment and intentions. Even today, I often realise that being married to a white man gives me a layer of protection in society, and I have written about it recently. It is seen as a privilege, a favour that I have been accorded, like being welcome into an elite group where I do not belong or deserve to have a place. Bringing up mixed heritage children is complicated in today’s world too, navigating not only our own cultural differences but also making sure that our children find their place in the society that tries very hard to put them into neat boxes.

Race has increasingly become more salient in the current turbulent political climate, and so racial anxiety has also increased manifold. In the case of an interracial couple, such politics can be heightened due to societal pressure and expectations.

Social norms underlie our gut instincts about people. Our default biases are associated with these social norms. Often bias is created when a particular object or person does not meet the normative standards in society, and our instinct is to view them with suspicion and to alienate or stigmatise them. Racial bias and prejudice manifest themselves in the form of implicit actions and microaggressions too, besides explicit hate crimes, and it is these subtle forms of discrimination that have a long-lasting effect on a person’s mental and physical health.

Do you remember watching that viral video where Robert Kelly, an associate professor of international relations at Pusan National University, is being interviewed live on BBC when his two children wander in, and a woman of East Asian racial heritage frantically tries to remove them? An anonymous survey I conducted via social media forums revealed that over 70 per cent of people – most of whom claimed to be liberal, open-minded and non-prejudiced – immediately assumed that she was a nanny. It prompted concerns about the racial biases in our society about people of certain ethnic origins being assumed to be in subservient roles as helpers or assistants. It also raised questions about the perception of mixed-race couples, with people naturally assuming that people have to mate with those who look the same as they do. Society does not take to marrying across these rigid racial divides kindly, seen by some as marrying outside the community, and destroying their own kind by “intermarrying”.

Piers Morgan tells Meghan Markle to 'go back to America' if she wants to live privately

Even when Mark Zuckerberg married Priscilla Chan, an Ivy-league educated Asian-American woman, the media exploded with racial stereotypes. While writing my book, ​SWAY: Unravelling Unconscious Bias, I spoke with many couples from different ethnic backgrounds, and it was clear that such racial stereotypes and suspicion and scepticism against inter-racial couples remains deeply entrenched in our society even today.

Racial stereotypes mean that women, especially from minority ethnic communities are often expected to behave in a passive manner, and as we are seeing in Meghan Markle’s case, any sign of independence or self-assurance in a woman of colour is swiftly condemned. I know this from my own experiences too. Individually, many of these incidents may seem benign. But cumulatively I believe that they act like low-grade microtraumas that can that end up hurting a person deeply.

Trying to figure out what happened can consume cognitive resources, can lead to an increase in stress hormones, and is akin to being bullied. It is easy to ignore seemingly minor comments, but these microaggressions never exist in isolation. They are indicative of the insidious unconscious biases existing in our society and they have to be called out. Meghan and Harry have tried in vain to call them out in the past. No wonder they’ve had enough.