I recently watched a friend dealing with someone who was making a scam phone call to her, in which the caller attempted to get her to log into her computer and allow him to take control of it, supposedly to clear some unreported virus that was meant to be affecting her. I recognised her actions, for they were exactly what I do. I don’t entertain the caller, I just put down the phone or leave the line open to waste their phone bill. But watching my friend’s reaction acted as a mirror to my own, and it occurred to me that this wasn’t good enough.

The person on the other end of the phone was another human being. A human being who had admittedly chosen a rather dodgy path, but nonetheless: I resolved to do it differently next time, not knowing what that would be, but I hoped I would come up with a better response.

I didn’t have to wait long, as these scam calls are becoming more and more frequent. The phone rang and I was asked to turn on my computer so that this person could help me clear the virus. I found myself saying, “Is this the truth? Are you really phoning to help me?” This was met with urgent chatter as the man tried to get me to comply with his wishes. I continued: “How does this job make you feel at the end of the day, is it something that you are going to be able to share with your children or grandchildren? This doesn’t seem to be a path to happiness.” To my surprise the caller had gone quiet now and was listening, so I continued: “You’re not going to trick people like me with this scam. It’ll be the old and vulnerable people that you catch, people like your grandparents or my Mum, I imagine.”

The man spoke again and said this was something he thought about every day, so I said in that case, this should be his wake-up call to walk out of there and get himself a proper job.

He told me there weren’t any jobs where he was phoning from, which was Pakistan. Are there really no jobs, I asked, or just none that pay as well? I asked whether it wouldn’t bring greater happiness to have a job that paid less but was honest, so that at the end of the day he could be proud of himself? He replied that he needed to think about this. He then asked me my name, and though I momentarily panicked, thinking that I couldn’t seriously give my name to a known scammer, I also knew that, having gone on about truth and honesty for the past five minutes, I should tell the truth myself. So we exchanged names (his was David) and I said: “You have my number, so phone me and let me know how you get on, or if you want to talk this through some more.” We parted on good terms, wishing each other a good day, and this in itself felt better than to be putting down the phone in anger or frustration.

Two weeks later I got a call from David saying that he was phoning to let me know that he had left his job, and was now sleeping much better. I was so pleased for him. I asked if he had found another job and he said no, but that he was sending out applications and hoping to get something working with computers. He sounded much more upbeat about the whole idea of getting a new job. I said I was sure he would be successful given his computer and language skills, and wished him lots of luck. I asked him to phone me again when he has a new job because I do feel a bit responsible for the fact he hasn’t got one now, and while he might be sleeping better at night I probably won’t be.

I suppose my message is that we could all do more than just ignore and allow scammers to continue until they reach someone who will fall for it. By dehumanising them we are simply perpetuating things. Wouldn’t it be amazing if everyone in this country engaged scammers in conversation just for five minutes? It would at least give them a lot less time to keep dialing until they do reach my Mum.