Good news Guardsmen,

You will soon have a new battlefield best buddy.

We refer, of course, to the recently transferred Officio Prefectus representative assigned to your agri-world and platoon.

Now, for some of you, this might be your first time fighting alongside such a veteran of the Schola Progenium, and you may have heard some less than positive rumours about these oft-misunderstood heroes. There are certainly some common misconceptions about Commissars, and today we address them, to show you there is nothing to fear.*

1) Don’t Commissars shoot our own men?

Nonsense, Commissars have only ever shot heretics and traitors**. No loyal Guardsman has ever been executed by one of the Adeptus Militarum’s officers. Quite the opposite, in fact, and you should feel safe knowing that any potential threats of heresy, treachery or lack of decorum in your squad will soon be non-existent once a Commissar is present.

2) Aren’t Commissars going to make us do loads of drills and hard work and stuff?

To be honest, Trooper, you’re looking a little plump around the midsection anyway. Your new Commissar’s intensive training regime will help you shed that low-gravity agri-world fat, and turn you into a lean, mean, killing machine! Think of it as mandatory personal embetterment.

3) Commissars won’t allow units to retreat, on pain of death!

Wrong! You’re getting confused here, and it’s easy to see why. The truth is that, when accompanied by such an inspiring hero, troops have no need or desire to retreat; so well trained are they that victory is inevitable. That’s why you never see squads accompanied by Commissars falling back. Obvious when you think about it.

So, as you can see, battle alongside your new Commissar will be a pleasant and non-lethal experience, that you will all certainly survive***. In unrelated news, Private Perkins, please report to the Commissar immediately upon his arrival, for an alpha-level post-heretical contact debrief.

Thought for the day

“A small mind is easily filled with faith.”

* Except heresy, treachery, ill discipline, scruffiness, the words of xenos sympathisers, non-Munitorum-approved hairstyles and general insubordination.

** Some of which may have been identified from amongst your own squads.

*** Survival not guaranteed.

Share this: Twitter

Facebook

Reddit

Like this: Like Loading...