Dear Mistress Maeve,

My girlfriend is a very sexual individual, and I am only happy to accommodate her every desire. However, she's recently taken to asking me to use sex toys on her that are on the larger side. I am a man on the smaller side of average and, no matter how illogical my brain knows it is, I can't help but think my member isn't satisfying her. I have also noticed that when I'm using my hands to please her, she wants more and more inside of her. I guess I knew she used larger toys on herself when I wasn't around, but I'm starting to take it personally that she's asking me to use them when we're together.

Mistress, what do you think?

Signed,

Worried

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Dear Worried,

You need to get over penile perturbation and focus on what really matters — your partner's sexual satisfaction. Do you have any idea how lucky you are to be with a woman who's not afraid to ask you for what she wants? Stop fretting over what's in your pants and focus on giving her the best damn orgasm she's ever had with that sex toy.

Popular culture would have us believe that penis size determines sexual prowess, but that's a bunch of garbage. AskMen.com recently reported on a study of 50,000 heterosexuals showing that 85 percent of women were satisfied with their partner's penis size, while only 55 percent of men were satisfied with their own. What does this tell us? It tells us most men are worrying for nothing. Besides, if heterosexual women were able to be satisfied only by large, inanimate objects, why would we even bother with you?

Remember, sexual skill and swagger trump penis size every time. Your girlfriend doesn't dislike your dick — she simply likes variety. Indulge her. Show her you're an open-minded guy who will stop at nothing to please her.

One size fits all,

MM