1. How do you feel about your loved ones after learning about their views?

Before any healing can take place, said Yeager, you first need to figure out how you feel about friends and family who expressed disturbing political views or aligned with politicians you found repugnant.

What do you think the status of your relationship is now? What do you wish your relationship could be? If you want to change your relationship with this person, what are you willing to work for, and are you also willing to walk away?

This means acknowledging your own feelings of hurt, and admitting there may be deeper issues that divide you beyond policy matters. A woman with a history of sexual assault who feels betrayed by her father’s Trump vote may, for example, begin by acknowledging that she expected her father to protect her — just as she expects political leaders to keep people safe, said Yeager.

“Are you holding on to the relationship because of what it is, or because of what you hope it could be?” said Yeager. “The next step becomes, ‘What is it that I need to do if I don’t like the relationship the way it is?’”

2. Did this election create a political fracture, or merely reveal an existing one?

David Valdes Greenwood, the Latino son of an immigrant, wrote in a Huffington Post blog that he was dismayed to see so many friends share that they were voting for Trump because his values aligned with their own. But it’s very likely that Greenwood’s friends held these values the whole time, says Yeager, and the election just gave them a platform to showcase them.

Learning your friends’ and family members’ beliefs and deciding to engage with them could be at least one upside to the way this election has changed relationships.

“The problems that are being amplified existed anyway, and I think acknowledging that they exist gives the opportunity to maybe, in some cases, open the door and begin addressing them,” said Yeager. “That to me might be the silver lining of this whole election campaign.”

3. Is your loved one willing to work with you on reconciliation?

If you decide to reconcile a relationship, your family member or friend must be willing to engage in the hard work, too — whether that means digging even deeper into the issues that divide you, or focusing on the aspects of a relationship that bring you both joy.