Ding-A-Ling: This Penis Chart will give the inside line on who has what in those Leather Stage Pants!

The groupies, girl friends and ex wives have seen it all. And some have decided it was time to share it with Metal Sludge over the years. Sources young and old have been there, and done that for sure. Enjoy our world famous Penis Chart. The Long & Short of Rock N’ Roll Cocks!

Disclaimer: I, Donna Anderson and Metal Sludge, will not be held accountable for any misinformation reported here. If you hook up with any of these men and they don’t live up to expectations, do not blame me! What’s big to one girl is small to another, and vice versa. One girl’s shit is another girl’s treasure. This is a basic guideline of what you can possibly expect. Circumstances may vary from girl to girl. I don’t want any of my girls being mislead. So if you find a report you disagree with, let me know! 🙂

Also, I did not sleep with all these guys!! So don’t ask.

If you have something to add, drop me a line at donnaanderson@metalsludge.tv

Sully’s “godsmacker” isn’t too long, but quite thick, but not uncomfortably so. Likes receiving oral rather than giving (typical male), but if he does go down on you, he might be a little too rough. A good kisser though, but can’t last long once he bones you. A very small guy height wise.

Not a rock star, but I’ve gotten quite a few girls asking for info on him, so I guess I’ll give in. Marshal is average length, maybe 6 or 6 1/2 inches but pretty thick. Loves to give oral and like most guys like it even more in return. Very paranoid about people coming after him and is known to be a bitch.

Not a rock star, but I’ve gotten quite a few girls asking for info on him, so I guess I’ll give in. Marshal is average length, maybe 6 or 6 1/2 inches but pretty thick. Loves to give oral and like most guys like it even more in return. Very paranoid about people coming after him and is known to be a bitch.

His pictures in Playgirl proved that he bumped that CHAINSAW one too many times and took some length & width off! There are reports that those photos didn’t do him justice and that he has an average cock, but that’s still out for debate. He is a Southern Gentleman and treats the ladies with respect. His skills are supposedly good.

Fred is an average joe, or should I say an average Fred. Nothing too big but nothing too small. He loves to eat pussy and loves to get oral in return. He’s a little on the kinky side and he really loves the freaky girls. Tries to use the press to get date and frequently comes off like a creepy stalker.

Kevin has a good body and an average dick. He’s very passionate and worth looking into providing you dig guys who wear a rug.

He is the ultimate ladies man & is with a different girl every night. He will sweep you off your feet with love & affection, but watch his other hand because it’ll be on some other chicks ass. He’s got a nice size cock, but can be a selfish fuck, so bring your vibrator. Also, you may walk funny the next day because he rams really hard. In addition, some say he’s pretty cheap and never pays for a thin, and one girl even says

Taime’s got a nice size cock. We heard he’s into that let me CHOKE you while I POKE you thing too. I heard he’s a breast man and likes big boobs, and is pretty good in the sack. Also rumored to bat from both sides of the plate. Hasn’t seen the sun since 1987.

MASSIVE cock. Great in bed, but selfish. Loves to receive oral (if you can get all of it in your mouth), but hesitant to reciprocate unless he knows you. Very dominant, but will NOT look at you while he is fucking you. Likes when you play with his balls. If you are a groupie and act like one, he will treat you with ZERO respect.

Don has a good looking, nice sized dick and could go ALL night long. He will make sure you get off and is willing to do whatever it takes for it to happen. However, he will treat you as a prize the next morning and show you to the roadies like the catch of the day. Can be kind of crude that way!

Now I know why they call him a Down Boy! His lil something something stays down a lot. Kind of like trying to play pool with a piece of rope. What a bummer, must be all the alcohol! If he is sober and can get it up, he is fairly selfish in his gratification. He doesn’t do a whole lot to make sure you walk away happy!

About 7″ dick, great at giving oral. Likes getting it too (surprise), good kisser, into foreplay, and he makes sure you get what you want.

7 inch dick with a slight bend to the left. He will smoke some weed with you then sweet talk you to get you into bed. No oral from him and he likes girl on top, then after he cums, he gets rid of you.

I knew a girl that use to go to his house up in the Hollywood Hills & said he liked to Jack Off with lotion 3-5 times a day when he was a Speed user! Nothing fancy on the size either. Must be all the bleach.

Audie takes his time and his very giving. Great with the hands. Better than average in size (girth & length) and can go for a long time. Great kisser. Will cuddle and chat all night long!

Not bad in the sack, but lacking in the goods. A nice guy though.

Like most tall skinny guys, Chris is also hung like a horse. Is very skilled in the sack.

The bottom line is his cock is just like him, short.

I just got word that Bobby is of average size and has a big cock head.

Now he is excellent in bed, though he has really ugly, curly-haired crotch and balls, but his oral and finger skills make the hair ordeal worth it. Cock is about eight inches in length, about seven in girth. Loves doggy more than any other position, and seems to be obsessed with playing with a girl’s hair. Has a thing for olive skin and dark hair … overall, solid 9, and he takes care of you after the fact.

Greg is average in size, but IS not into giving oral or doing much foreplay. He’s got good control, but is easily irritated by stupid chicks, so don’t ask him any stupid questions. Also isn’t keen on wearing condoms.

He has a decent size cock, but not great. He likes to propose marriage while you’re giving him a blow job.

Our source said Johnny is a good lay and has a nice sized dick. He’s gotten a few good reviews from what I’ve heard.

Robbie use to be a roadie for Poison back in the Look What The Cat Dragged In days, but got kicked off the tour for fucking too many chicks. So needless to say, Robbie has been humping around for a while. His little Mexican jumping bean is not too long but quite wide, which a lot of girls will say matter much more than length. One girl said it was the perfect size and is a pretty color of brown! He is also known for having an extreme nipple fetish. No, not yours, HIS! He likes his nipples sucked on with a passion! He is very smooth talker with the ladies and will probably fuck anything with a skirt on. Is somewhat known to be full of shit and brags about stuff that isn’t true, so don’t believe all of what he says.

Robbie use to be a roadie for Poison back in the Look What The Cat Dragged In days, but got kicked off the tour for fucking too many chicks. So needless to say, Robbie has been humping around for a while. His little Mexican jumping bean is not too long but quite wide, which a lot of girls will say matter much more than length. One girl said it was the perfect size and is a pretty color of brown! He is also known for having an extreme nipple fetish. No, not yours, HIS! He likes his nipples sucked on with a passion! He is very smooth talker with the ladies and will probably fuck anything with a skirt on. Is somewhat known to be full of shit and brags about stuff that isn’t true, so don’t believe all of what he says.

Fred was reported to measure in at 8 1/2 to 9 inches! Now that is what I like, an actual measurement. Cause that way, you know what your getting! What’s big to one girl is small to another, but with inches, you can decide for yourself.

The former lead singer of Motley Crue also has something in common with Tommy Lee, if you know what I mean. Sometimes those short guys will surprise you with a huge hog.

James has a small, but thick cock, but unfortunately a very hairy back. It looks like he’s wearing a sweater! Unlike a Snickers bar, he isn’t very satisfying.

Here is one straight out of the sludge mailbag and out of the past. Our source said it looks like he has a nice size package, but unfortunately he suffered from Whisky D and popped too many pills! It was worse than a wet noodle! This is also called Jerry Dixon syndrome in some circles!

Gary is so small if somebody saw you sucking his dick it would look like you were smoking a joint! Word has it that he is a lot like Freddie Mercury, on and OFF the stage.

Nothing much exciting here. About 5 inches and rather greedy in bed. Doesn’t sound like a good time.

Not only a very sloppy and boring lay, but he is very, very, very small. There is no riot going on in his pants.

He cares about whether you get off or not and he is, let’s say, VERY intense in bed. Also has a huge cock.

He is a very passionate man who loves to have his cock sucked. Find me a guy who doesn’ t? He has a pretty big cock, around 10 inches, and eats amazing pussy.

He’s VERY good with his tongue. His dick is about 9 inches!! If you blow him, he’ll ask if you’ll swallow. If you don’t, he’s nice enough to respect that, but he’ll wanna cum on your tits. He’s also into a little ass-play. You wanna try a dildo out on him? Go ahead and ask. He’ll say yes!

About a 7 inch cock. Knows how to use it nice and slow and is a amazing kisser.

Chris has about a 7 inch penis and is very good with his mouth. Can be very kinky.

Has a VERY nice package and can go all night! Perfect in size and length. He’s a gentleman, and he’s very affectionate. He’s not too pushy, and when you’re with him, you are the most important person in the world. He’ll also still hang out with you afterwards. I’ve always heard good things about Eric, plus he hates Slaughter, so he sounds like a really cool guy. On a scale of 1-10, he’s a 9!

Back in the day Jon was a huge slut but he’s chilled out a little. Jon has an average size cock and like a lot of guys prefers to receive oral than give it. He has good rhythm though and will even wear 2 condoms if you ask him to.

The Blotz is about 6 1/2 to 7 inches in length. It stands straight and isn’t crooked. He likes oral sex while he watches the girl give him head. He’s pleasant all around. A bigtime boob sucker and he doesn’t care about boob size, as long as he can grab them, and lick them.

Word as it that Jeff’s definitely well equipped and a lot of fun in bed. He’s very playful and not at all selfish. He’s very good with his oral skills, and I’m not talking about his conversations. However, once he’s done, he will sleep for HOURS and HOURS after the fact. You’ll have more luck waking up Chris Farley than Blando once he’s in the unloaded state. But once he wakes, he’ll still want to hang with you. Blando and Blas are the definite sluts of Slaughter.

Will tell you he’s married, but still pursue you. If you play with his dirty onion ring he’ll worship you. Average all-around; shows respect, and doesn’t seem to be TOO much the player. Likes ’em young.

Bach can deliver the good, as most skinny, tall guys can. He has been seen with a variety of groupies out on the road and reports are that he doesn’t shower much. He does have an above average cock and can be a lot of fun, but is ego is totally out of line and out of control. Is known to be a very big asshole, so be careful.

He has a very nice cock, above average in length and it’s pretty thick. He can go ALL NIGHT! He’s kinda aggressive, so beware. He will actually take time to get to know you, and is into anything you are into. He does like oral but will give it in return so that is a plus!

If you’re down with pentagrams and Satan, then not only is Tom for you, but he’s got a big cock to boot. Tom is about 7 inches, loves to fuck and is not selfish at all!

If you’re down with pentagrams and Satan, then not only is Tom for you, but he’s got a big cock to boot. Tom is about 7 inches, loves to fuck and is not selfish at all! Also has an uncircumcised dick.

Your jaw won’t get sore sucking his cock, so he’s an average joe. But his ‘jap eye’ does blow out enough jizz for 10 guys!

Well after a short glimpse of that MONSTER power tool in their debut home video it’s no wonder that Rob Halford is such a big Pantera fan! Reports are Phil is a bit over 10 inches!! There are also rumors that Phil can swing both ways, at least orally.

He tries to come off as such a sincere, sweet guy, but he’s a HUGE slut. He does treat you well when you’re with him–he even holds hands/cuddles and gives his real phone #. He also likes his women to be pretty intelligent and able to hold their end of a conversation about current issues, etc. Watch out for this one, though–he’s unclean!! Either he doesn’t wash the crotch area often or he has a serious problem…smells very dirty. Gross!!

However he’s not fond of condoms and sometimes his cock isn’t fully hard, which might have something to do with him being a former drug addict. Either that or he’s just old.

Art has an 8 inch cocks, he’s loud and practically rabid for eating pussy and rimming. He loves his balls sucked, is a great kisser, and enjoy his encounters in odd/semi-public places. Art

Tobin Esperance / Papa RoachHe has a 6 inch dick that is a chocolately brown color. He has oral talent and will go down before, during and after sex. It comes in handy because the actual sex is treachery. He doesn’t like to use condoms and he is constantly drunk or stoned so the breath isn’t the greatest. Is also known to lie about his age, but will give you his home phone number and take you out to eat.

Anthony Esposito / Ex-Lynch Mob Average size and lacks passion. Won’t allow himself to be massaged (?) and claims he slept with Madonna-twice. He’s ok to sleep with all night, but you have to get him coffee and cigarettes to get him out of bed in the morning.

Mark Fain / Ex-Chlorine Mark has a 7 inch cock and loves his balls sucked. On a scale of 1 to 10, he’s an 8 and is always ready to go it again.

Marc Ferrari / Ex-Keel, Medicine Wheel Marc is a decent lay but nothing to write home about. However, he has hair growing out of the side of his shaft, so be careful if you are going down on him!

Dani Filth / Cradle Of Filth Despite being a tiny person he had a huge cock, about 9 inches. Good fuck, loves having his face sat on and is insistant that the woman comes. Likes to bite too!!!

Flea / Red Hot Chili Peppers Flea may seem the scruffy second choice to Anthony, but he’s very attractive and intense in one hard compact package. He is highly intelligent, sensitive, a great writer and has a beautiful, extremely rock hard cock of well proportioned length and width. Can stay rock hard for a while. Incredibly intense building and fluidity.

Robb Flynn / Machine Head About 5 or 6 inches, but it’s rather skinny.

Anthony Focx / Beautiful Creatures Anthony is about 8 1/2 -9 inches and thick! He’s great at oral and doesn’t expect anything in return. He shags like a rabbit in heat and likes to cuddle as well, but beware of his infamous fog machine! Plus he’s been known to lie about his age. He was born in 1966.

Ace Frehley / Kiss This was taken right off our Gossip Board on Ace: “Good points – AWESOME kisser, fairly decent size, good-looking dick, not ugly. Made sure I finished too, which is rare in a rocker! Pretty good going down too. Not-so-good points – he’s fairly passive – made me do all the work… liked to be on bottom… pretty quiet – I like a guy who makes a little noise… Not much for the seduction scene – pretty much just jumped into it. Over all it was a pretty good experience – i give it a 7!”

Derek Frigo / Ex-Enuff Z Nuff Derek is hung nicely and into foreplay and all that. He’s back to wearing hair extensions and of course enjoys his krell.

Fuzz / Disturbed Fuzz has a slightly above average dick and is into aggressive fucking. Likes to spank asses and is very into anything involving the anus! Also known to be a dick and incredibly self absorbed, as well as wearing extremly tight pants.

Kevin Gale / Slik Toxik Kevin has a 8 to 9 inch cock and loves to receive oral more than give it, and when he does give it, he’s average. Generally will last a few minutes during intercourse.

Burton Gans / Pist.On Very kinky with a large cock, and also is an ass man. Can be a dick when drunk, so watch out.

Paul Geary / Ex-Extreme A little on the small side and a quick shooter. Prefers quickie blowjobs and doesn’t return the favors.

Shaun Glass / Soil Extremely lacking in both length & width.

Steve Gorman / Black Crowes Believe it or not, this guy can supposedly put TOMMY LEE to shame! He’s great in bed and will even take you to breakfast the next morning. So not only are you getting laid, but your getting fed! I better get a meal if I’m going to get stretched out with that hog! Word has it he is a total sweetheart.

Ben “The Ghoul” Graves He has a great cock. About 8 1/2 inches and the perfect girth though. He loves huge tits- fake or real, and he will fuck your tits for hours if you let him. He is a really nice guy, too.

Derrick Green / Sepultura 8 inches, so that doesn’t sound like a bad deal.

Chad Grey / Mudvayne He supposedly won’t fuck because he’s married, but will let you blow him. Maybe he thinks that’s not cheating. About 7 to 8 inches long.

Tracii Guns / L.A. Guns, Brides Of Destruction We were told that on a scale of 1-10, Traci has an 11!!! He puts the Guns in L.A Guns! Amazing lay with a nice big cock, about 8 1/2 inches with a nice girth too.

Christopher Hall / Stabbing Westward This dude is quite well endowed for such a little guy! It was also told to me that he knows exactly what he’s doing and can/will go down on a girl for quite a long time! But I haven’t experienced it first hand.

Tom Hamilton / Aerosmith Much to the chagrin of naive fans, he definitely participates in groupie activities!!! He tends to like brunettes (his wife is one!) and is VERY flirty and articulate. He is very discreet about his encounters. His cock is about 8 inches and is average in thickness. Tom is very good orally, likes foreplay and insists on using a condom (safety first!). He is also very nice to you the next morning. If you are attractive and intelligent, he will hang out with you and possibly look you up the next time he is in the area. Very nice and gentlemanly.

Jeff Hanneman / Slayer He loves eating pussy about as much as he loves getting head from girls. His cock is pretty decent–it’s got a slight “Bill Clinton” curve to it. Word on the street is he’s about 7 to 8 inches long and somewhat slender. Once things go from oral to regular sex, he’s a doggie man. He also insists on condoms and he’s big on fondling tits while he’s pounding away. He seems to care about making sure you have some fun too.

Jesse Harte / Ex-Southgang While a cutie back in the day, Jesse’s dick is somewhat on the small side. He’s very selfish and wants it his way. When he’s done, he’s done. He will go down on a chick but only has average skills. One girl said that he has no morals and will sleep with anything, but that sort of describes almost any guy in a band!

Dexter Holland / The Offspring Dexter is hung like a horse and is kinda kinky in bed. Loves to eat pussy and can fuck like a madman. Missionary position bores him and will have you flipping like a pancake. Somebody you’ll have fun with.

Jason Hook / Ex-BulletBoys, Vince Neil Band Jason’s hook is about 9 1/2 long! A very nice guy who will make sure that you are comfortable, though reports say he has some very strange sexual behaviors.

Mark Hoppus / Blink 182 He has an average size weiner of about 6 inches. He prefers blow jobs over sex but isn’t selfish. Gives pretty good oral.

Stet Howland / Ex-WASP Great toungue technique, nice penis around 7 1/2″. Not huge but with the perfect upward g-spot curve. Great kisser, hypnotic eyes, nice body. And the good part is he’ll do you all night if he feels like it! There is always plenty of booze and drugs available. He buys breakfast in the morning, and even makes sure you have safe transport home.

Billy Idol He’s no Leviathan, but he definitely knows what to do with the 6″ he has. He likes you to put on a show for him, and make sure you leave your stilettos on. He’s the type that will feed you strawberries from the nightstand and might growl during sex. He’s also drunk a lot, so be warned.

Terry Ilous / XYZ A little on the small size but cool if you like dirty sex! Likes foreplay and to talk dirty to you.

Eddie Jackson / Queensryche Said to be hung like a horse and a great lay. Likes to get and give LOTS OF oral, and knows what how to eat at the Y and HOW!

JB / Buckcherry Very well hung. He’s of average length but quite thick. Also, he has a VERY nice looking cock and is fun to be with. And he wears briefs if you care.

Stephen Jenkins / Third Eye Blind An average length cock but it’s kinda on the skinny side. He’s extremely selfish – likes a lot of oral but won’t give it. He’s also kinda kinky and will say “RUN!” and then chase you around the bedroom. He loves to spank, too. He loves blondes with long legs and a nice rack, but is cool if you don’t have a big chest. Big time slut, even when he was dating the beautiful Charlize Theron. Known to be a total dick.

Tony Kanal / No Doubt No wonder Gwen Stefani went out with Tony for about 5 or 6 years, Tony’s cock is about 10 inches long! He is a great kisser, takes his time, and is a totally cool guy. No Doubt aren’t a metal or hard rock band, but since Tony has a 10 inch cock and plays the bass, I thought I’d include him for those of you who listen to a variety of music.

Kari Kane / Kari is above average is size, sort of skinny, and word has it his nickname should be “The Mouth”. You will have “chills” for days after having a night with this man and trust me you will know why he is called Kari “THE MOUTH” Kane. At least that is what one person told me, so if you find out otherwise, don’t blame me! Also like fingers in his ass during sex, but smokes way too much.

Maynard Keenan / Tool, A Perfect Circle Has a nice, average size cock, about 6 to 6 1/2 inces. Loves oral sex, but only with his favorites. Loves anal sex! Will take you to a adult toy store and buy you whatever sex toy you want and will make you use it in front of him. He loves orgies and group sex. Hosts adult sex parties in hotel rooms. Picks up lots of strippers. He is affectionate, but at times conservative. He has a sarcastic, dry sense of humor, which can rub people the wrong way. He is clean and shaven…..everywhere. May not be the best looking but he makes up for it with the intense sexual energy. He has a contact probably in almost every state/region of the USA. Easy to spend the night with.

Anthony Keides / Red Hot Chili Peppers A very large penis. One girl told me, “his penis is beyond just gorgeous.” He has a very clean body and is an amazing kisser.

Tom Keifer / Cinderella Reports are that limp Tom is between 6 1/2 to 8 inches!! He has been known to come quick, but makes up for that with his mouth. You’d have to figure that those lips would be good for something.

Keri Kelli / Ex-Ratt, Warrant, Dad’s Porno Mag Word has it that before Keri was so heavily into drugs, his little fighter use to be above average, but the drugs have taken it’s toll. He is clean now, so if he can get it up, he is said to be pretty good.

Kerry King / Slayer His cock is about 6 inches with a decent width. Unfortuately, the man will kiss you for about fifteen minutes and thats the end of foreplay. Also he fucks exactly like he plays guitar…too fast & plenty hard…only doggy style. After he’s done he kills you in the name of Satan. Just seeing if anybody is really reading this. Doesn’t eat pussy, but never asks for head either. Very sweet but can be very moody.

Erik “A.K” Knutson / Flotsam & Jetsam He has an 7 to 8 inch cock and loves to take pictures. So be careful if you don’t want people to see photos of your ass. His dick is thick, but not too thick.

Joey Kramer / Aerosmith Joey is VERY well hung and being a drummer, has great rhythm in the sack. Oral sex isn’t his bag though, so just stick to fucking.

Jeff LaBar / Cinderella Jeff is of average size and is pretty good in the sack. Would rather receive oral than give it, but want guy wouldn’t? Also likes to talk during sex, but not necessarily about sex.

Jani Lane / Warrant FROG BOY is bumming when it comes to sex appeal. He can write a good song but his gummy bear won’t take you to heaven. Does like to eat pussy though.

Josh Lazie / Ex-Danzig Average cock, eats amazing pussy and can toss a seriously good salad. Loves to kiss and likes to have his nipples and balls sucked. He is up for anything you are including multiple partners and anal.

Michael Lardie / Great White Michael, otherwise known as Jack Russell’s Mini Me, is not too big but not too small. He will wear a condom and will go down on you forever! Plus he will massage you and talk a good game. On a scale of 1 to 10, one girl gave him a 9.

Blackie Lawless / W.A.S.P. Blackie is of average size but huge on making a girl feel like a woman, believe it or not!

Tommy Lee What can I say that hasn’t already been seen? CHICKS HE’S BANGED: Pamela Anderson, Carmen Electra, Heather Locklear, Bobbi Brown, Jenna Jameson

Joe LeSte / Beautiful Creatures Joe is very generous with sexy compliments and will treat you like an angel. He has a very large cock and is very intense and sensual. He definitely has some SKILLS.

Phil Lewis / L.A. Guns The current lead singer of L.A. Guns has a nice schlong and his bedroom skills are enough to leave you wanting more. Also known to be great with his tongue. He should be considering he’s old as fuck! He’s had decades and decades to perfect his skills.

London / Brides Of Destruction Loves to watch pornos with girls and has a very large cock, not only long but thick as well! Very satisfying sexually. Agood lay.

Jon E. Love / Ex-Love/Hate A pretty horny guy who is only average size and only worthy when he’s straight.

Jimi Lord / Ex-Tuff Jimi was the second drummer of Tuff, and like most skinny drummers, he’s well hung. He treats you like a lady and like his former singer Stevie Rachelle, he’s great at oral sex. He will do what it takes to make sure you get off and one girl said he is a 9.9 out of 10. Too bad the Tuff guys didn’t play as well as they fucked!

James Lorenzo / David Lee Roth Band James has absolutely NOTHING to have any Pride Or Glory about when it comes to his manhood. About the size of a pinkie finger.

Clint Lowery / Sevendust Very mediocre cock. Somewhat fumbling, nervous and awkward. Acts like a down home good ‘ol boy, but is still a dog. Talks about how he has a girlfriend while he has one hand down your pants.

Corey Lowery / Stereomud Huge flirt and a bit of a predator when he sees something he wants. He’ll pursue relentlessly, especially when you’re a challenge. Don’t go right to this one– let him come to you. He’s a little smaller than expected and not particularly creative about his sexual style, but he’s a good kisser and incredibly affectionate whether he’s sleeping with you or not.

John Lowery (John 5) / Marilyn Manson Average in size with no body hair. He likes to cum on your breasts and lick it off, so he has no hangups about tasting his own sperm. He also likes to have his ass licked, as well as return the favor. Very into oral sex and is into the whole “pour wax on my dick” thing.

Mike Luce / Drowning Pool Pretty decent! Above average and likes to kiss and cuddle afterwards.

Ahrue Luster / Machine Head A good fuck and you can be expecting 8 inches.

George Lynch / Ex-Dokken, Lynch Mob George is somewhat above average in length and width. Maybe his dick works out with weights as well. He loves anal sex though, so if you’ve never had anal sex before, you might wanna practice with some toys before taking George on.

Steve Malone / Every Mother’s Nightmare Well endowed, about 8 inches.

Marilyn Manson / Marilyn Manson The “GOD OF FUCK” has nothing to be bragging about! Our source said he was a very lame lay, had an average cock, and lasted all of 2 seconds. There are some nude photos of him and Twiggy in the Gay Porno mag Honcho, so I’m sure somebody on the Internet has the photos if you really need to see his mechanical animal. Also fooled around with Jenna Jameson.

Mick Mars / Motley Crue The faces on money look younger than Mick! I’ve hardly ever gotten any reports on Mick and I think that is a good thing. The one story I heard is that he’s average.

Bardi Martin / Candlebox An absolute doll! Very polite, a little quiet. Pretty good at pumping; average unit. Really needed someone to take care of him – he loves to be held. Super-intelligent and doesn’t forget a name or face. He’s now married and a History Teacher.

Mike Matijevic / Steelheart Has a large cock and is very cocky, but will try to make you feel special for the night.

Josh Memolo / The Union Underground For being the lil guy he is, he’s makes up for it in his pants! And will work you for hours every way possible. He’s very philosophical and will talk to you afterwards.

Scott Mercado / Candlebox Scott is little in height and in the pants. A nice, affectionate guy though.

Mark McGrath / Sugar Ray I heard he’s average, even though he says he’s small, but has asked some chicks (Bobbie Brown) to urinate on him, even though she didn’t. (See her 20 Questions right here for that, it’s number 15) I guess that gives a whole new meaning to Golden Boy. A very big slut.

Duff McKagan / Ex-Guns ‘N Roses Duff is a quick shooter.

Jason McMaster / Dangerous Toys Jason is average size, and has fire red pubic hair! His voice might not be the best, but he sure can fuck!

Sean McNabb / Ex-Great White Sean has about an 8 inch cock and can come without stopping and then come again! That’s always a plus. He’s into fantasy and is very seductive, with fabulous oral skills.

Meegs / Coal Chamber Sweet guy and skinny. Has a little missile about maybe 6 inches and it’s skinny too! Nice balls for the girls that like a nice set of big hard balls. He likes to suck on the Boobies and will finger you. Really a jackrabbit when it comes to fucking and likes to tear off his rubber and jack himself all over you, the bed, the bus and anything else in the room!

Robbie Merill / Godsmack Word has it that Robbie and Mr. Ed have something in common! They are both hung like a horse. So if you get the opportunity for Robbie to “tap your strings”, then you should probably let him. That’s providing you’re into bass players with large cocks. If your not, then you should try Jerry Dixon!

Bret Michaels / Poison The dick is about 7 inches or so, and he enjoys providing oral favors. I’ve seen the video of him and Pam, and his dick looked pretty good, but he was way too concerned about looking into the camera. He didn’t impress me in the video, and I’ve also heard that Bret’s skills are overrated. If you do hook up with him, chances are he’ll keep his hat or bandana on. Also very manipulative and a control freak. If you’re one of his side pieces of action, he demands you stay loyal to him while he can go get other pussy. A total double standard.

Billy Milano / S.O.D., M.O.D. His penis is about 6″. Not thick and not like a pencil. He fucks kind of hard, very fast or slow but with power. He seems like a big breast man. He is also pretty talkative during sex. Can be a fun time believe it or not.

Michael Monroe / Hanoi Rocks My friend said he was pretty large and fairly good in the sack.

Billy Morris / Warrant Average size cock and a nice enough guy.

Muddy / Col. Parker, Ex-L.A. Guns Muddy is a very passionate man who has no problem getting it on with several women. He is a bit short in the “schlong” department, but makes up for it with his oral skills. He loves toys and to be tied up. However, be careful, girls, he likes to brag to his friends about his adventures!

Jared Mueller / Ex-Chlorine Jared is the biggest member of Chlorine cuming in at 9 inches! I heard he’s very crazy in the sack, whatever that means.

Brent Muscat / Faster Pussycat Brent is sexy, but his cock is somewhat disappointing. Naughty and nice, but a little pompous. Digs Asian chicks.

Dave Mustaine / Megadeth Dave is of average size and is very romantic, at least until he is done. Likes to cuddle, but might not be so friendly in the morning.

Vince Neil / Motley Crue What a fat lazy piece of shit. He has no charisma in the sack or on stage! After screwing thousands of chicks, he just doesn’t put any effort into it anymore. If you hook up with Vince, you deserve a painful yeast infection. Not to mention he has the build of Cartman from South Park.

Kenny Olson / Kid Rock He has a good 7 inches and on the thick side and is a real sweet guy. Seems kind of shy at first and is a bit of a drinker but once your are in the room with him he will go down on you and is pretty open for anything else. He prefers African American Women on Tour, either Black or Creamy complected (Halle Berry) types.

Ripper Owens / Ex-Judas Priest Ripper isn’t that big and he is somewhat hairy, but he’s a cool guy to hang with.

Ricky Parent / Enuff Z’Nuff Ricky is very affectionate and a great kisser. His penis is about 8 1/2 -9 inches long and is of average thickness.

Charlie Paulson / Goldfinger Charlie has an average size dick, plus he’s fully shaved!! He also loves to give oral sex, but sometimes lacks rhythm.

Stephan Pearcy / Ex-Ratt Just an average Joe but made a lot of news in the early days because he use to stuff socks in his stage pants. He’s very HORNY, and will rub all over you. He’ll say anything to get you into the sack. He fucks like he sings, very lazy and egotistical.

Jizzy Pearl / Ratt Jizzy has a decent size rig and does go down on a chick, with considerable skill. He can be affectionate but is also known to like it very rough.

Eric Peterson / Testement Average in size, smooth lines..pretty much a wam bam thank you maam kind of guy.

Ted Poley / Ex-Danger Danger Ted gave Metal Sludge a good interview, but unfortunately, his interview was better than his bedroom skills. Ted is lacking downstairs, but some say he’s not as bad as initial reports made him out to be.

A.Jay Popoff / Lit A.Jay has a pretty big cock and even whipped it out on stage which ended up with him getting arrested. Has also banged Christina Aquilera and Paris Hilton, but if you think about it, who hasn’t? Is now married and totally faithful to his wife.

Stevie Rachelle / Tuff A solid 7 inches…soft. Where it goes from there is only for those who dare!



Riki Racthman / Former MTV VJ, Cathouse Owner The former MTV Headbanger’s Ball DJ is at least 8 inches and is a pretty good lay. Dated porn star Janine Lindemulder for years.

Twiggy Ramirez / Ex-Marilyn Manson He looks like he hasn’t taken a shower in 3 years, and on Howard Stern I saw him picking his nose like it was going out of style. Reports say he has about an 8 inch dick though.

Keff Ratcliff / Average is size but a killer lay. He also doesn’t wear a wig and isn’t a hairy mess, so he has that going for him as well!

Bruno Ravel / Danger Danger Report are that Bruno has a large cock and likes to give as well as receive.

Jeff Reid / Ex-SR-71 Average size but has GOOD width. He looks for a girl who doesn’t talk about him all the time and is quite cultural. Will treat you like an actual person and give you right number. Also enjoys 69 and lots of different positions. Gives you plenty of pleasure before fulfilling his own to the maximum.

Trent Reznor / Nine Inch Nails On a scale of one to 10, Trent is an 8. An average size dick, but a good fuck. He’ll fuck you like an animal. He loves dildos, candles, hot wax, blindfoldes, etc.

Ralph Rieckermann / Scorpions Word has it that Ralph is HUGE, but otherwise sucks! He thinks that because he has a big cock he doesn’t have to do anything, so don’t expect much excitement.

Darrell Roberts / W.A.S.P. Like most tall, skinny guys, he’s above average and likes plenty of foreplay. However, be careful kissing him because if you catch a glimpse of his teeth you’ll probably dry up like the Nevada desert.

Rikki Rockett / Poison Rikki has a huge “rocket”! About 9 + inches! He’s a gentleman. He opens doors, asks if it is o.k. to smoke or use your bathroom, and will go out to eat with you. He’ll even give you his real telephone number! Very creative guy and I’ve never heard of him getting a bad report! Just like Bret, he doesn’t like “his girls” to be with other guys while it’s ok for him to be with other girls.

Erik Rogers / Stereomud He’s a genuinely sweet person with an appetite for sex, and he’ll treat you like a goddess as long as you’re around and don’t mind his occassional wondering off with random other women. Average sized cock, but he knows how to use it and he’s always about the woman’s pleasure. Lick his nipple ring and he’ll do anything for you. He has a thing for redheads (he has one tattooed on his arm). Serious bonus: He has a vibrating jaw, and he loves showing it off for your benefit. Very cool experience.

Jim Root aka #4 / Slipknot An average size penis but supposedly has very soft lips and is a good kisser. Who knew somebody from Slipknot would be a sweet kisser?

Axl Rose / Guns N Roses Temper tantrum boy has only an average cock but above average sized balls. We heard he had one of his famous models (Seymour) take a dump in a kitty liter box!!! I don’t know about you girls, but my pussy ain’t going anywhere near a litter box.

Gavin Rossdale / Bush An above average penis size (Boy George gave him props too), and is a very, very, sweet lover, but can get a bit wild. A good kisser as well and a very good body. Now married to Gwen Stefani.

David Lee Roth An average size dick and can be somewhat kinky. Basically did everything under the sun in the Van Halen days. There are rumors that Dave can be put in the same category as Paul Stanley.

Ryan Roxie / Alice Cooper Band, Slash’s Snakepit Using the Donna Anderson approved hand technique where you measure a guys dick using your hand, Ryan is about 8 inches long! He’s got a really nice bod, ripped chest, strong arms, and will make sexy faces during sex. Kind of a mouth open orgasmic look if you can imagine that.

Jack Russell / Great White Mushroom CAP & that’s it, ONCE BITTEN and it never grew back!

Ralph Saenz / Atomic Punks, Metal Shop When we asked David Lee Ralph what was in his pants, he said “6 inches and to the left.” So there you have it. Also, he shaves his nuts, which is always a good thing.

Richie Sambora / Bon Jovi Heather said some positive things about Richie on Howard Stearn so we at the office take her word that Dick has got a good size Dick. After Tommy, you know she can’t go backwards. Richie is not only well hung but treats women extremely well and will go down on a girl for hours if she pleases! Whoo Hooo!

Phil Sandoval / Armored Saint A nice size cock and good while it lasts. Might not be into oral sex though.

Bryan Scott / The Union Underground Bryan has to be about 9 inches. He’s very sweet and passionate (even with his girlfriend in the next room), but he’s mostly about recieving oral sex.

Evan Seinfeld / Biohazard Word has it that Evan can be put in the same category as Tommy Lee. I don’t mean he punches chicks in the kidneys, I mean he has a LARGE cock! He’s into multiple chicks and is into the “let me choke you while I poke you” thing. No concern for condoms though. Also a huge player hater and is paranoid about his girls being around other musicians. Throws around the word “groupie” like crazy, and is backstage at every show and half the bands have no idea who he is. Great cock though.

John A. Sepetys / Ex-Hair Of The Dog John has a great body and an average cock. He has a nice set of abs and is a total gentleman.

Derek Sherinian / Ex-Dream Theater, Alice Cooper An average penis with a shaved nut sack. He does provide oral sex, but really sucks at it (no pun intended.) He comes quick and seems to love himself so much that he would rather masturbate than have really wild sex. He will say just about anything when he wants a new girl and wants you out of his life and can even cry on cue. Not a cheap ass though, so he’s got that going for him.

Gene Simmons / Kiss The God Of Thunder is of average size. And lets not forget the most important thing, THE TONGUE! He can go down on a girl from across the room, and he has excellent control of it. Also, there is a good letter about Gene’s bed behavior in my Ho-Bag 2, so go check that out for more 411.

Eric Singer / Kiss, Alice Cooper, etc Eric’s dick is built like him, short. He’s a quick shooter and talks WAY too fucking much. He does seems like a nice guy, but is as exciting as a bucket of wet leaves.

Nikki Sixx / Motley Crue, Brides Of Destruction The leader of Motley Crue is about 6 inches in length, gives GREAT oral sex and is a great French kisser.

Tommy Skeotch / Tesla Tommy is really nice until he gets you, then he treats you like garbage. He’s got an average dick, but it’s not very pretty. Use to be addicted to smack. He’s a quick draw, and after he’s done, he gives you the boot. He’s also slightly nuts! Sounds like one to avoid if you ask me!

Slash / Ex-Guns N Roses, Snakepit Average in size and nothing to write home about.

Mark Slaughter / Slaughter We heard that Mark is of average size but can only last 30 seconds! He also lacks rhythm and is somewhat boring. I guess he won’t keep you “Up All Night.” Also, Mark is extremely pussy whipped and hasn’t seen his balls in years because his girlfriend owns them and keeps them in a glass jar.

Stuart Smith /Heaven & Earth The Ex-husband of Colleen Locklear, so you know those Locklear girls have a radar for big dicks! Reports are the Stuart is well equipped off stage. He has very good oral skills, and like a good guitarist he’s good with his fingers. Word is that he’s a lot of fun and not boring at all.

Dee Snider / Twisted Sister, Widowmaker Dee is well known to have a pretty nice size dick in his pants. Very faithful to his wife of 20 some years.

Johnny Solinger / Skid Row Johnny has an amazing cock, and is very, very good in bed. But when your done, he likes to “keep you on him” if you know what I mean. He doesn’t wipe off or anything. I think that’s kind of hot though!

Matt Sorum / The Cult, Ex-Guns N Roses This guy fucks like a true rock star and has about an 8 inch cock. Will take you out to an expensive dinner in his Cadillac and then take you home and fuck the shit out of you. Very into eating pussy before and during sex. Nice smooth body. Great kisser.

Spike / London Quireboys Spike is of average size and is a very good shag. He’s a very loving and caring bloke. How randy! Since he’s English, I had to review with an English attitude. Cheers!

Dan Spitz / Ex-Anthrax Loves oral but is not inclined to do anything else. Small to average cock (5-6 inches) and quite the slut back in the heyday. He has currently “found God” and also fixes watches. Do the match.

Eric Stacy / Ex-Faster Pussycat About 5 inches and nothing to write home about.

Paul Stanley / Kiss About 7 to 8 inches and he’ll treat you very nice! He loves his hairy chest. One girl told me, “The only problem is when you’re having sex with him you get the impression he’s performing for 20,000 screaming fans. I have honestly never seen anyone look more retarded while having an orgasm. I thought he was having a seizure. Overall I’d give him a 9 in the sack, even though it was all I could do to keep from laughing when he came.”

Mike Starr / Ex-Alice In Chains Smooth with the lines and average in size. Kind of pushy as well.

Tommy Stewart / Ex-Godsmack Tommy, like his Godsmack bass player Robbie, has a very nice cock. Not as big as Robbie’s, but still a nice size. He’s a very friendly and cool guy.

Peter Steele / Type O Negative About an 11 inch dick and very thick!! But he doesn’t like to use rubbers and says he doesn’t like groupies, yet will use them when he gets a chance. Sort of weird as well, plus he looks like a steel worker from Iowa!

Rick Steier / Ex-Warrant He has an average size DOWN BOY, nothing too great, but nothing too bad. He does little complimentary things for you like take off your shoes and he is always nice to his former bedmates. There’s plenty more on Rick in the Ho-Bag.

Izzy Stradlin / Ex-Guns ‘N Roses Our source reveals he is a VERY good lay! Sometimes those guys who aren’t the pretty boy of the bad are better lays than the good lucking guys. The pretty boys sometimes think they don’t have to put any effort into anything. Just look at Vince Neil!

Dana Strum / Slaughter Dana has an average cock, nothing to get excited about. Isn’t exactly that memorable. A huge shit talker. Could sell water to a person drowning. Has all the lines down and comes off very smooth, but he’s mostly full of shit. Dana once let his ex-wife, porn star Tami Monroe, fuck him in the ass with a dildo.

Steve “Sex” Summers / This guy is a mess! He’s got fake hair, his chest feels like hugging a Christmas Tree, and he has no business ever taking off his pants! But he does shave his pubes, so take that for what it’s worth. His dick is reportedly around 8 inches though.

Mick Sweda / BulletBoys Average in size and will say whatever is necessary to go Smooth Up In Ya (meaning he has smooth lines, but is a bullshiter). A good kisser, but not into oral sex or foreplay.

Serj Tankian / System Of A Down Reports are that Serj is a total sweetie despite looking like a freak. Nice cock and gentle in bed. Makes you feel like he actually is making love to you, although not much concern for whether you come or not. Condom user and good for a few times in one session.

Glenny Telford / Skinlab A little above avereage! Maybe 7 1/2 — 8 inches and THICK!!! He eats pussy VERY well and has an anal fetish (yours not his)! This boy loves to give anal! (Word to the wise, ladies, if you’re ever gonna be with him, bring the lube, cuz as much girth as this boy has, you’d have a better chance of pushing a bowling ball through a garden hose!) He talks dirty too, which is a major turn on, cuz he’s very good at it! And playing that guitar gives his fingers great practice, cuz he was a pro with those as well!

Tommy Thayer / Kiss Dude’s got nice hair, but his cock is so small crabs could use it as a flagpole. He can go quite a while, but that’s probably because his dick isn’t hitting your pussy walls. Tommy will call you the next day and hang around after he’s done boning you. I guess that’s cause he has to make up for lacking in size!

Joshua Todd / Ex-Buckcherry About average size, into oral sex. Doesn’t like to fuck at night. Likes to have his dick sucked. Amazing kisser and very passionate. Sexy skinny body.

Marq Torien / BulletBoys Marq has a dick so small he probably pisses on his balls. About 4.5 inches. He REALLY loves to receive oral, but won’t even THINK of returning the favor. Very egotistical and likes to watch what’s going on in the mirror. Also comes off a bit fruity and might be into guys more.

Mike Tramp / White Lion Mike’s above average in size but isn’t the nicest guy in the world.

Eddie Travis / Chlorine Eddie is about 7 inches and is willing to please you first. Like his singer Mark Fain, he’s also very good in the sack. While Chlorine might not have sold that many records, at least they can fuck good!

Erik Turner / Warrant I heard that Eric is a nice guy and has a nice package, about 6 inches. Eric has definitely been around the block so many times he now owns it. Likes to be talked dirty to. He was once a very horny mess, but seems to have mellowed since he got married.

Steven Tyler / Aerosmith Steven provides some of the best ORAL SEX you’ll ever have! You had to know those lips would come in handy. A legend on stage and in the bedroom!

Lars Ulrich / Metallica Lars is about 6 inches and has a HOODED MONK, meaning he’s uncircumcised! That’s to be expected because he was born in Denmark, or some foreign country like that. He’s a quick shooter and likes multiple girls. He’s also fond of blow (what a shock) and that might result in his MONK to not wanting to come out and play. And he constantly talks. Shut the fuck up already! Also he’s losing his hair, but that’s another chart.

Steve Vai / Guitar dude Steve is suppose to have a good size cock, whatever that means. That’s all I know.

Phil Varone / Skid Row Phil has about an 8+ inch cock with what one girl called “an amazing girth” as well as a very nice pair of balls. Plus he’s well groomed, a wonderful kisser and goes down like the Titanic. And he likes ass play as well, but even more with dildo’s, vibrators…or even…CARROTS!!! (no lie!!!)!! He doesn’t even mind ass-play with another guy either because he is bi-sexual. He also has a Prince Albert, which means he has a pierced cock. He has a huge ring (not one of those thin ones like most guys get), but a very thick silver ring going in through the opening of his cock and coming out just behind the ridge on the underside. He also shoots out quite a load, so bring your rain coat!

Donnie Vie / Enuff Z Nuff Donnie’s paraphernalia is average or so size, and he’s pretty good, providing he’s sober. However, he’ll rather have his dick cut off than wear a condom. But if you keep on him Enuff, he’ll put one on. Reports have it that he has troubles getting an erection due to all his past (and current) drug use.

Alan Vine / Vince Neil’s band Alan’s cock is hugh and has a really thick head. He usually shaves it completely bald but on ocassion likes to grow the hair into different shapes and dye the pubic hair. He loves getting head and especially likes when you slap his cock on your cheek and bite the tip of it while spitting on it. He especially likes when you wear red lipstick too while giving him head. Alan loves when you yank on his hair when he is going down on you. While fucking him, he loves when you slap him on the ass and call him “Daddy”. Kinky! Also said to be bi-sexual.

Virus / Dope Average in length but skinny on the width. He says he doesn’t like to have sex so all he does is recieve oral and then kinky things.

Yogi / Ex-Buckcherry Yogi reportedly has around 10 inches of cock! That’s 20 inches of cock if you let him fuck you twice! Some girls say he is worthy of the “Dick Of Death” award because he has a lot to handle. Good luck!

Danny Wagner / Ex-Warrant Now I heard that Danny has a big cock. However, his bed room skills leave a little bit to be desired. Our source said he was a bad lay. But another source said he is a spectacular kisser and if he is really into a girl, he’ll go to great lengths to please her. He is VERY good with his mouth and tongue, and is extremely concerned about making sure his partner is satisfied. So one person says he’s great, another says he isn’t. Probably depends on how well he is into you, no pun intended. 🙂

Butch Walker Reports have it that Butch has a slightly below average dick and likes to have sex in public places!! He loves to receive oral as well as give it, and is an intense sweet-talker. Doesn’t like to use condoms though he does like to give compliments during sex and will keep in touch afterwards. He has a huge ego now but still loves to flirt. Claims to be loyal to his girlfriend.

Nicholas Walsh / Slik Toxik Nicolas was sort of like a mini-Sebastian. He’s a short guy and he’s got a 5 inch cock. He also enjoys looking in the mirror while he fucks.

Jason Ward / Flotsam & Jetsam About an 8 1/2 inch cock, and once you are done fucking him, he’ll still hang around. A cool guy.

Steve West / Danger Danger Steve has a nice size dick, but it’s not so big it’ll make you gag when you are going down on him. He’ll make sure you come and won’t blow a load in your mouth if you don’t want him too. Sounds like a cool guy!

Deryck Whibley / Sum 41 Nothing exciting. Below average penis. He’s got a hairy crotch and rarely gives oral but loves to recieve (typical guy). Maybe he’ll improve with age.

Kip Winger / Winger The former ballet dancer & Alice Cooper bassist formed his solo band which was a favorite for millions of us girls until Beavis & Butthead came along. Known to have a very big dick.

Lajon Witherspoon / Sevendust Decent size cock, knows what to do with it and a very good kisser. A little on the cocky side, however. Snores like a bastard so bring ear plugs if you’re spending the night.

Brent Woods / Ex-Vince Neil Band Brent has a huge cock and is rough with the chicks. Known to be somewhat of a dick.

Chris Worley / Jackyl Like most drummers seem to be, Chris is very well hung. Not very adventurous in his positions or skills though. But he is a very polite Southern gentleman.

Dave Wyndorf / Monster Magnet Talks dirty, really good kisser, average size and average sex. Can be an asshole.

Robin Zander / Cheap Trick Here is guy you can compare to Tommy Lee with no problem, and there aren’t too many that can!! So if he Wants You To Want Him, you should let him!!! He was hot back in the day, but has held up pretty good. Plus, he’s good in the sack. He is married to Playboy Playmate Pamela Stein, who was a Playmate in November of 1987.

Chip Z’Nuff / Enuff Z’ Nuff Chip is well hung (about 8 1/2 inches) and as we all know, the thickness is what counts most and he’s got that covered. He’s also very polite. He doesn’t just dive right in. He likes to hang out and talk, maybe smoke some pot, and get to know you as best he can if a few hours. He doesn’t get in a hurry and loves to give oral sex. Great at the dirty talk, providing you like a voice that sounds like Krusty The Clown. Like most bass players, he has great rythm and is all around a good fuck.