I would like to apologize to everybody who may have waited for me to post new artworks or animations... because, well, I couldn't.I've been going through some difficult time lately, and was so depressed that I was completely unable to do what I always loved doing, and that's art. On days when it's not as bad, I'd usually cope with depression by being absorbed into drawing, which wasn't the case this time around... I'm, a perfectionist, or so they say...I always strive to do the best of my abilities and every little thing that doesn't go well during the process of making my artworks, hurts and breaks me so much... I don't think there was a single piece that I have done that I thoroughly enjoyed because of that, and I felt like, each piece was a struggle, a battle in which I fight til the end for a better result, but the truth is, even if I'd come to an end, I wouldn't feel like I accomplished anything, I wouldn't feel like I had learned something new. Instead, I felt trapped in an endless loop of struggle and failure. Sadly, I was limited by my knowledge and inexperience. For the past few months, I was breaking down more and more, steadily dropping with the amount of successful artworks that I could share publicly, to the point of completely stopping doing what I love because I was both physically and mentally unable to. I did try to fight it through but I just couldn't, I'd end up with drawings that could probably score a C at best, even though I was supposedly "the best in generation" as my Art high school teacher knew to say. When the only thing that you knew you were good at, or the only thing that would make my life worth living was the fact that I was good at art, and when that failed me I was devastated. I started extensively immersing myself into games, trying to cope with my troubles, skipping meals and sleep, and occasionally fighting with my family. Games didn't help me much, I would mostly be playing League of Legends, that's known for it's toxic community, and although I was quite good at it, toxic environment just wasn't a good place for me to be in. Finally I turned to YouTube, more precisely to Markiplier's channel... I really wouldn't know how to put this into words... it's not necessarily his content that kept me coming back to his channel, rather it was his attitude, his humor, the goofy faces <3, and his kind and caring personality. Watching his videos, whether he's alone or with friends, made me feel like I was a part of that whole experience and a part of his community. For the first time in forever I felt a bit at easier, even happy watching his videos and I really believe that he's a genuine nice person and as much as it breaks my heart to see other's get emotional, I like how he shares such moments with his audience. So thank you Markiplier.This was my first, successful attempt of a digital portrait, and is a battle scar that has marked my triumph. I'm actually quite happy and satisfied with how it turned out despite not finishing the seemingly unfinished background, and the fact that I pulled it through, even though the start wasn't so great. Nevertheless I truly enjoyed working on this portrait. ( I could post a step by step pictures if anybody is interested in seeing them ).Done in Paint Tool SAItime: a sleepless nightreference photo: i.ytimg.com/vi/mIwGG2yI9iY/max… Gif process: Markiplier - process