Assistant Police Chief Avery Moore Screenshot : ABC News ( via Twitter )

The Dallas Police Department just came up with a story so farfetched, I am going to stop roasting both Empire and Power for some of the ridiculous shit that happens on both of those soapy-ass shows that I cannot stop watching.


Joshua Brown, 28, was shot and killed Friday night—a week after he served as a witness for the prosecution in the murder trial of former Dallas police officer Amber Guyger, who was charged in the death of Botham Jean in September 2018.

When news broke that Brown was gunned down in the parking lot of his apartment complex as he exited his vehicle, many speculated that he had been snuffed out by the police or by order of the police. He did, after all, testify against a cop and participated in the trial that ultimately sent her to prison.


Dallas police vowed to investigate his murder, and on Tuesday, they came up with the most cockamamie story you have ever heard in your life.

Dallas PD says that Brown was killed in a botched drug deal. Three men reportedly drove 300 miles and over four hours from Alexandria, La., to Dallas to buy weed from Brown.

The drug deal somehow went bad and turned into a physical altercation. Brown allegedly shot one of the three men, and in retaliation, one of the remaining two shot and killed him. They grabbed the gun he used to shoot their accomplice and his backpack and made their escape. They allegedly dropped their wounded accomplice off at the hospital and then went on the lam.


The wounded accomplice, who is in police custody while hospitalized, reportedly told police what happened. In their subsequent investigation, police reportedly found 12 pounds of weed, 149 grams of THC vape cartridges (huh?) and $4,157 in cash in Brown’s apartment.

I know. My eyes rolled too. They rolled so hard, they fell out of my head and are on their way out the front door. Please hold while I go get them.


OK. Thank you.

Let’s go ahead and poke some holes in this story, OK? Because no one I know believes a word of this bullshit.


First of all, who is crossing state lines and taking penitentiary chances to buy weed from a dude who was just all over the news for testifying in a high profile trial of a white cop charged with murdering an innocent black man? You know that nigga is HOT as fuck. Why would you do that?

For that matter, what dude who just testified in a high profile trial of a white cop charged with murdering an innocent black man is going to just casually open up shop to sell weed? That nigga knows he’s hot.


But fine. Let’s say that did, in fact, happen. I know, your eyes are rolling again, but let’s continue this outrageous game of pretend.

You know the dude is hot, but you decide to cross state lines and take penitentiary chances to buy a couple pounds of...weed?


Listen. I know people pack up cars and transport dope back and forth across state lines all the time. They do it with hundreds of keys. It happens, and that’s how your dope man gets his dope—if you have a dope man, that is.

But that’s not what we’re talking about here. In this instance, we are talking about a couple pounds of weed. These dudes allegedly were making a nine-hour round trip car ride for a couple pounds...of weed?


But OK, fine. Let’s say they were willing to do that. They get there and the dude is prepared to serve them in the parking lot of his apartment complex.

Really? Was it these niggas’ first time selling and/or buying drugs before? Because what part of the game is that? Who is selling pounds of weed in the fucking parking lot of where they live?


For that matter, what dude who is pushing weight is dealing directly out of his own home? Where they do that at? Please tell me so I can rob those niggas because that is exactly why no one pushing weight sells directly out of their own home. Are you crazy?

But OK. We are at Brown’s house, he is prepared to sell the weed but gets into an argument instead that turns into a physical altercation, and in the aftermath, he pulls out a gun and shoots one of the three men who are there to purchase from him.


Keep in mind, we are to believe that they rolled up three deep to buy the weight, but the dude pushing weight didn’t have anyone with him? He showed up alone? Just him and his strap? The same dude who allegedly feared for his life and didn’t want to testify against a cop? Mmm-hmm. OK.

So he pulls out his gun and shoots one of theirs, so one of theirs pulls out a gun and shoots him, killing him. They then take his backpack, the gun he used to shoot their homeboy, and drive off with no money and none of the weed they just drove over four hours and 300 miles for.


Right.

Then, they drop their homeboy (who was allegedly shot in the chest, according to police) off at the nearest hospital and get in the wind.


The homeboy, who was allegedly shot in the chest, somehow miraculously manages to divulge all of this to the police.

Why?

Why would he give it all up like that? At that point, they had no idea about Brown’s involvement, the drugs or any of it, so it’s not like they threatened him. Why would he give up the whole jig like that?


He could have said he didn’t know who shot him. He was on the block and it happened. Whatever. He could say he didn’t remember. Why give up this whole elaborate story?

But whatever. Supposedly he did, and the police went to do a search at Brown’s home, and that is when they supposedly found all the evidence that this nigga was secretly the Nino Brown of weed in Dallas.


OK.

I don’t know about your experience with drug dealers, but I can tell you what someone I know told me.


When you are in the game like that, you always have somebody watching your back. As soon as anything goes wrong, that person is at your spot removing any evidence of drug dealing before the cops can find it. If you have ever been around drug dealers or have watched an episode of The Wire, Power or Breaking Bad, you know what I’m talking about. That’s just part of the game and expected.

I can’t imagine a dude who was pushing weight wouldn’t have someone who would be able to do the cleanup for him. Somebody would have known what he was doing and would have gotten that shit the fuck up out of there.


Shit, you might need to sell that shit on the low to get money for his bail, his lawyer, his books, whatever. It would not be in the house.

Like I said, this story is so out there, I don’t think it was thought all the way through. I don’t believe it, and many others don’t believe it either.


It’s worse than any episode of Empire or Power, including the scenes with La La acting. (I love La La. She’s gorgeous and seems sweet, but no, girl.)

It’s also hard to believe that his part-time drug dealer’s career wasn’t revealed during the trial. Theoretically, both the defense and the prosecution have investigators in their offices. Neither side was able to dig up this information on a potential witness?


You know what this story does do, however?

It assassinates his character. It calls his character and his testimony into question. It sets up Amber Guyger for a retrial, and it creates an impression of Brown in the minds of any future jurors. The idea that he was some inept drug dealer who got himself killed makes it easier to discredit what he had to say on the stand.


I asked Rory Fleming, T. Greg Doucette and Rebecca Kavanagh, all attorneys with experience and knowledge of criminal defense, what impact, if any, this story could have on Amber Guyger’s case. Here are the responses they gave on Twitter, along with some input from other legal minds.






The plot thinned like a mother fucker.

I guess we’ll just have to wait and see how this bullshit plays out.

In the meantime, here is a message to the Dallas PD:

Stop playing in our faces.