Guardsmen, we have excellent news!

Operation: Kill Team has been an unprecedented success. By grouping Guardsmen into small, semi-autonomous squads with specialised tactics and training,* we have managed to inflict devastating damage upon enemy morale, materiel and pride. We have also boldly allowed them to capture vast swathes of our territory, thus placing dozens of kill teams directly behind their lines. We are now ready to make a final, decapitating strike but are faced with a small inconvenience.

It transpires that nearly every participant in Operation: Kill Team has been gloriously martyred which, according to our data analysis, will significantly reduce their combat effectiveness. As such, we have a thrilling opportunity for you – to join a kill team yourself! Here’s why we think you’d be a perfect fit.

1. You may already be a specialist!

Specialists are not born – they are made! You may well have the potential to be a valued and useful member of your kill team. Aware of the proper way to field dress a lasgun wound?** You’re already basically a medic. Capable of working out which end of your bayonet is the dangerous bit on your first attempt? Close combat calls! Particularly loud voice? Comms needs you!

2. Your regiment is already appropriately sized!

Thanks to excessive valour,*** your regiment is essentially already the right size to be a kill team – or you will be after your reinforcements arrive.

Congratulations, again, to both of you for making it this far.

3. If you do not, you will certainly die!

Either at the hands of the enemy or when you are executed for flagrantly disregarding the call to greater glory, depending on which comes first.

Volunteer for service in a kill team today, Guardsmen! And good luck!

++Thought For The Day: A dagger in the dark is worth a thousand swords at dawn.++

* Namely the issue of Edifying Pamphlet 7789B – Appropriate Use Of Camouflage and one [1] pot of camouflage paint per team

** Step 1 – Apply comforting aesthetic tourniquet. Step 2 – Say a benediction to the Emperor for the soul of the lost Guardsman. Step 3 – Remove tourniquet for further use when Guardsman has expired. Some rinsing may be required.

*** And not, as some scurrilous rumours have suggested, the after-effects of a shipment of Green Taurox.

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