Was he really more astounded that a woman could own our cafe, over our dishwashing guy, who didn't speak English? Perhaps I shouldn't really be surprised. I went to a high school that pushed girls to achieve, and focused on empowerment. But if I ask any of my friends if they considered themselves a ''feminist'', I would be met by the same, slightly repulsed response: "What? No, of course not." Of course not? I don't know when the word became such an offence. But there's something in that: feminism has become tainted with all sorts of negative connotations. To even identify with it is to identify with hatred of men, angst, and all the stereotypical ''angry'' feminists you see comically portrayed in the media. This has overwhelmed its aim - equality of men and women - which seems ridiculous not to align oneself with.

As feminism has been twisted into something so extreme, girls are scrambling to remove themselves from it. Which means the issues remain unchallenged and no progress is made. Girls tend to reject the label because they don't want to be seen as difficult or challenging. Girls want guys to perceive them as laid back: hence the proliferation of "get back in the kitchen" jokes - made by girls themselves. My friend named her photo album on Facebook "kitchen", as if to be ironically sexist, in a way that would push boys to see her as easy-going, in on the same joke as them. Another time we were talking about the coming HSC in class. The same girl said: "Oh, but I feel as if boys are studying so much harder, they have more pressure, since they actually have to get a good job.''

Surprised, I said: "You know, girls have to do that as well.'' She laughed: "Yeah, but let's be honest, you're only going to get married in the end, it doesn't really matter does it? But it does for them." It was like something out of the 1950s. And she really believed it. This shouldn't really be surprising in the present political climate. I watched Abbott's address to the Big Brother house, where he proudly clutched his two hot daughters, as if they were commodities of some kind, with my mouth wide open. It was like some sort of parody, except it was totally real. And he was still elected Prime Minister. I had a similar feeling when he elected himself Minister for Women. If it weren't happening in my country, I would probably find it more humorous.

Even things as simple as the fact that the Coalition cabinet only contains one woman, despite women making up 50 per cent of the population. How can we believe anything has changed in recent years, when the entire country is still entirely run by men (except for one token woman, of course). In a history class last year, we were asked: do you think sexism exists any more? And everyone around shook their heads, citing equal access to education, and votes, and work. But there's still something, isn't there? Something more malicious and less easily defined. Like once my friend told me she wishes she were a boy, because girls are "worth less". Or when my brothers tell me to cook for them, because "I'm a woman". Or when you ever express maybe not wanting to get married or have children, there's nothing but shock or derision from the adults around you.

It's bizarre. The more I think about it, the more I realise how deep-rooted these issues are. And even as I write this, I'm reluctant to, because in some weird way, I don't want to be categorised as a feminist myself. I want to be seen as easy going by guys my own age. I certainly don't want to kick up a fuss. But I'm sick of feeling as if wanting equality between genders is some massive ask, which designates you as angry and demanding. Because it shouldn't be - it should just be the norm. Jemimah Cooper is an 18-year-old who has just finished year 12 at Ravenswood School for Girls.