Negotiation is among one of the most important business skills you’ll ever need to use. Whether that’s negotiating with another business or supplier about pricing and services or negotiating with another individual about work hours and conditions. Negotiation comes into every single point of work I can think of. Negotiation also can work its way into your personal life too, say you’re maybe negotiating with your kids about their bedtime? Whichever way negotiation works its way into your life, it’s none-the-less an important and valuable skill to master.

This article is aimed at helping you negotiate to the fullest and get the outcome that you desire, whether this be from a business (pricing, service terms, or whatever else!) standpoint to a more personal standpoint, eg, deciding what time the kids should go to bed. Whatever you wish to use the skill for, this article will help you. I’ll now go into some tips that will help you next time you’re trying to score that all-important business deal or get the kids to bed! I’ll include examples for both business and personal use with each ‘tactic’ I’m going to discuss.

1) See The Other Side

“Be A Passionate Perspective Taker” — Adam Galinsky

Seeing the other side of the story can really help when you’re negotiating with someone. Remember, if everything was absolutely perfect with the person or business you’re negotiating with, then why are you negotiating in the first place? The key is to speak passionately with the other person, see their side of the situation for what it is; their own completely valid opinion. Only then will you be able to effectively negotiate like a pro. For example, from a personal perspective, if your child wants to stay up all night long, let them explain why they wish to do this. Occasionally, it might be for a very valid reason, in which case, always take the time to listen to the other party. From a business point of view, this might mean asking yourself questions like: “What benefits will our business trading give to the other party?” and “What can I do to fully understand the businesses perspective?” If you can see the other sides perspective, you have a much better chance of being able to make stronger points to them and gain a better understanding of the whole situation as a whole. This ‘tactic’ also allows you to get what you, or your business, wants across to the other party without seeming too argumentative.

You do not want to be seen as argumentative during a negotiation regardless of the reason you’re negotiating. This just makes the whole situation harder for everyone involved. Arguing isn’t negotiating.

2) Make Friends, Not Enemies!

“Be A Strong Ally” — Adam Galinsky

Being a strong ally is a very effective technique in getting a business or someone to work alongside you, oppose to working against you. If you treat the opposite party like a friend, they’re twice as likely to treat you as one too and both parties could end up with a better outcome. Being a strong ally also shows that you care about the other party and that you’re showing some devotion to them. This is great because this will make the opposing party care more about you and your business too. Don’t forget to also treat the person you’re talking to with respect, no matter how inexperienced or experienced they are and don’t full-on ‘go against’ them in any way, as this could cause tension. This goes for at-home situations too. Being respectful could lead to a meaningful industry-related conversation between the two parties and might trigger a connection which could prove awesome for both businesses, and your whole negotiation!

3) Ask Questions And Charm!

“Be A Humble Advice Seeker” — Adam Galinsky

Asking another business for advice can sometimes be hard if you’re not already connected and in ‘good-standing’ on that professional level yet. But asking another business you don’t really know for advice can show the opposing business that you already believe in them and that you really are interested in what they’re offering. Making them believe that you really trust in their products and services so early in your business-to-business relationship says something about your business straight away; It shows that your business is daring and wants to branch out to grow. Showing your business in this way can make the opposing business feel confident in your business, which means they’re far more likely to do a business deal with you. In terms of using this ‘tactic’ in a home-style situation, make sure to ask the person you’re negotiating with the right questions and maybe even charm the person a little bit, although, I wouldn’t recommend trying to ‘charm’ someone if you’re negotiating from a business perspective.

4) Don’t Be Scared!

“Be A Ferocious Mama Bear” — Adam Galinsky

Finally, the most important thing in negotiations is to not be scared. Yes, it can be daunting when you’re negotiating for the first time, especially from a business point-of-view. From a personal perspective, don’t be scared either! The one thing not to do during a negotiation is refusing to put any offers or compromises out there. You have to compromise with the person you’re negotiating with. It’s what a negotiation is! But, there is one way to make it work in your favour; people are much more likely to agree with you (a.k.a strike that great business deal with you!) if you make life easier for them by presenting them with choices. So go on! Make an offer. You have nothing to lose and maybe, a hell of a lot to gain. From a personal perspective, make an appropriate offer to the person you’re negotiating with and compromise from there, that way you’re much more likely to ‘strike it lucky’ faster!

Overall, the most important things to understand when compromising are:

See the other side of the story — understand the other persons perspective!

— understand the other persons perspective! Make friends and not enemies — negotiate nicely with the person you’re talking to and treat them with as much respect as you’d like to be treated with.

— negotiate nicely with the person you’re talking to and treat them with as much respect as you’d like to be treated with. Ask questions — make your business be ‘that’ business that stands out! Don’t be afraid to ask out of the ordinary questions, it might just spark more interest in your business!

This post was originally inspired by a TED Talk by Adam Galinsky that is linked here.