It’s called a “hearing,” damnit!

A Brooklyn federal court judge exploded at attorneys in the Nxivm sex-slave cult case Thursday — claiming they ignored him during a previous court appearance.

Veteran judge Nicholas Garaufis unloaded on the stunned defense table, seething that all but one of the attorneys had responded with “stony silence” on Sept. 13 when he asked if they were willing to delay the trial.

After receiving no response that day, the judge adjourned the case until Thursday — where he finally erupted over the snub.

“If you want to have a relationship of trust and professionalism you have to be prepared to meet me halfway,” the 70-year-old Clinton-appointee screamed.

“I’ve done this 18 and a half years. No one has ever done this to me before. I’m not playing games with people. I left this courtroom having been basically ignored. When I ask you a question and you sit there and you don’t even answer my question, it is unacceptable.”

Even accused cult leader Keith Raniere and his alleged sidekick, actress Allison Mack, looked on in shock as Garaufis railed at their gaggle of high-powered attorneys.

Raniere, Mack and others are accused of duping women from their self-help organization into joining a master-slave group where women were coerced into starving themselves, having sex with Raniere and getting his initials branded into their nether regions.

As a red-faced Garaufis demanded answers from their lawyers Thursday, Raniere’s attorney Marc Agnifilo stood to speak for all the defense attorneys — but was promptly smacked down again by the spluttering judge.

“Don’t try to paper over the darn thing,” the jurist snapped.

Lawyers from both sides told Garaufis they’d agreed on a potential trial date of March 18.

The judge concluding the bizarre proceeding by making a point of polling each lawyer on a series of procedural questions — saying: “I’m going to ask everybody, and act like I’m teaching the third grade in Queens again.”

After the grilling, a slightly-calmer Garaufis offered his sarcastic final remarks.

“Very good,” he smirked. “Everybody gets a gold star.”