Wil Wheaton and I got excited and made this “Fighting Time Lords” shirt for you!

I am going to be at Calgary Expo this coming weekend with Blind Ferret at booths 925/1025! The whole cast of Star Trek: TNG is going to be there as well, but you are probably more excited about seeing me or whatever. Right? RIGHT?! Well, you know who AIN’T gonna be there? Lieutenant Barkley. Fuck that noise, Space Admiral Dickhole. Broccoli or GTFO. MORE INFO HERE.

I caught maybe 45 seconds of an episode of Finding Bigfoot a few weeks ago and the “expert” in “bigfoots” on the “show” kept saying things like “squatches REALLY love this time of night for goin’ out and fiddlin’ ’bout in the woods,” or “these ain’t sqautch droppings. I can tell by the taste,” and “one thing a squatch really hates is when you keep saying SQUATCH all the time.” They also hate that they are make believe and thus don’t get a lot of respect. This dude was just throwing out details and factoids about this fictional beast left and right. He had obviously done his homework (i.e. reading Wikipedia or listening to an elderly dementia patient in a rocking chair on a porch of the nursing home where he was raised as a ward of the state after his parents were mauled to death by a squatch). It’s one level of bullshit to go on TV and pretend noises are ghosts and different noises are bigfoots, but it’s a whole different tub of shit to pretend to be a certified ghost expert or squatchologist.

COMMENTERS: Please share your brushes with the paranormal. Did you ever know anyone that was convinced their leaky pipes and aging duct work were sweet spirits from the beyond? My uncle was convinced that a ghost named Gary lived in his house and kept hiding his things. He was a particle physicist, so maybe Gary was just a big clump of Higgs-Boson particles trying to dark matter all up in my uncle’s cedar chest for loose change. Alternately you may offer up for silly names for silly shows. How about Noise Listeners, Spook Havers, or Enthusiastic Yeti Patrol?

I made some blank comic templates that you can print out for your kids. My daughter has already made a couple of comics about our cats magically transforming into different animals.