When the ground started shaking violently below him, Brent Marriot stayed in his seat, finishing his cup of coffee.

“Some people ran outside the cafe, things fell around me, but I just drank my coffee. After five years you get pretty used to these rumbles. That’s life for us now.”

Marriot lives on New Zealand’s South Island in the city of Christchurch, where a 5.7 magnitude earthquake hit on Sunday. The quake was a reminder for residents of the much larger 6.3 magnitude one, almost exactly five years ago, that flattened swaths of the city and left 185 people dead.

Life for residents in Christchurch now means trying to live as normally as possible while a broken city rebuilds itself around them.

On Sunday afternoon – Valentine’s Day – Christchurch resident Matthew Walker was working in his home office when one of the strongest quakes since the 2011 disaster struck.

His well-stocked bookshelf toppled over, pictures fell off the wall and “there’s a lot of tidying to do”, but Walker remains philosophical.

“Those books keep hitting the ground and I just keep picking them up,” he said.

“I am not scared of earthquakes any more. This is my family’s home. I think Christchurch is the most interesting place to be in the whole of New Zealand right now. It is frustrating and tedious but it is also really exciting to see the rebuild and be a part of it.”

After Walker checked that his partner and daughter were safe (they were bracing themselves by a wall, the quake interrupted their cupcake baking), he went to check on his 92-year old neighbour.

“But she beat me to it,” he says, laughing. “She was out in the street, in her walker, ready to check on the neighbours herself. At 92 nothing fazes her any more.”

An aerial view of emergency services working at the ruined CTV building in central in Christchurch, New Zealand in 2011. Photograph: Sarah Ivey/AP

The Christchurch rebuild will cost an estimated NZ$40bn, with the New Zealand government contributing an estimated NZ$16.5bn.

Although the rebuild has been dogged by criticism and controversy, residents in Christchurch say it has also given them a chance to thoroughly examine and debate what they want from their new home, and allowed creativity and innovation to flourish.

Christchurch mayor Lianne Dalziel told Radio New Zealand that the Valentine’s Day earthquake was sharp and unexpected, and had been a “real setback psychologically for the city”.

But 86-year-old Betsy Hay says she has become so used to tremors in Christchurch, she doesn’t react any more.

On 22 February 2011 Hay was watching Emmerdale on TV in her rocking chair when the quake hit.

“Instead of rocking forwards and backwards suddenly I was rocking side to side,” she recalls.

“Today I was doing the crossword when the earthquake struck. I think you’re meant to climb under the table, but I just sat there and waited for it to end. Then I checked on some of the other residents in my nursing home. One or two people were a bit worried, but mostly everyone was calm. You know this has been happening to us for years, I don’t get spooked anymore.”

The Ocean cafe in Sumner was “chocka” when Sunday’s earthquake struck, with about 100 people eating both inside and outside the cafe.

Owner Julie-Anne Pritchard said her customers reacted “uniquely” to the latest quake, with some running outside, a few bursting into tears but the vast majority “sat quietly and waited for the shaking to stop”.

“We asked the customers if they wanted us to close but they said they wanted to keep eating. We’re just getting on normally really, although we sure have sold a lot of beer and wine.”

Dr Nigel Millar, chief medical officer for the Canterbury District Health Board, has lived in Christchurch for “all the shakes”.

He said while everyone reacts differently to the stress of living in such a volatile environment, the Christchurch community had become “very good” at looking after one another.

“The thing I observed immediately after this earthquake: people went out and talked to their neighbours, and that is step one – realising you’re not alone.

“I have been so impressed by how resilient people are here. People have become more invested in the community around them, and they also draw strength from that community. We are not letting this stop us, we just keep trying to live a normal life.”