BEST TIMELINE

Or:

How the Globalist-Establishment-Machine’s Long-Con Agenda Imploded When Shadow-Patriots Waged Silent Civil War to Save the Republic, Accidentally & Indirectly Fast-Tracking the Technological Singularity

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Preface

(Preface is optional. Not related to the plot. No consequences of skipping)

I have no idea what's true and what's not, but I imagine it's somewhere between the two poles.

On one extreme, we have the highly edited, jingoistic narrative spread via MSM and elementary-college history classes, where the government is honest, a real man should enlist and Be All You Can Be©, the borders of the US mark the divide between God's favorite country and world of barbarians, 'theez kuh-lurrs dohnt run', and marijuana will literally make you eat your baby. However, not every news story is fake simply because it's on MSM, but to exercise such rationality is also to instantly be labeled a shill on the CIA payroll.

The other pole is just as bad because every theory is defended simply because "well THEY lie about everything, so how do you know?" However, that is indeed an absolutely valid argument when defending conspiracies that are not as 'rational' as others (ex: we highly doubt the multiple-offender is innocent, but rape accusations have been fabricated before). For example, it is fact that 9/11 and the moon landing resulted in massive financial/political gains, and thus human greed makes it impossible to rule out foul play.

On the other hand: although history shows elitist satanic pedophilia is indeed possible, most throw it out the window, ignoring the blanket defense: "they lie about everything, why not this?" Fast forward to 2016: pizzagate was accepted as possible, then entertained as probable, then straight up targeted by citizens via investigative crowdsourcing, who then found evidence, and is currently considered undeniable (by the internet generation, at least). So the crazy claims were not only true, but *weren't crazy enough*: the darkness and depth is beyond the imagination of Stephen King, the hatred of Hitler, and ghoulishness of ISIS.

Think about it: a conspiracy theory [re: pizzagate] turned out to be partially inaccurate; its' claims were only crazy, but to be accurate, they should've been batshit, foaming-at-the-mouth, thousand-yard-stare, delusional rants that advertise: "hey, I need a straight jacket." It wasn't just that something too far fetched became reality; it wasn't crazy enough.

Therefore the argument, "We can't exclude anything," gives sweeping credibility to any claim in the same way 9/11 fast tracked a police state. I believe disinformation campaigns are real, but the unchecked use of the defense argument is also a powerful contributing factor to the fucking insanity of the conspiracy extreme pole. We live on the surface of a Hollow Earth, inside of which nazi's maintain a UFO fleet, the subterranean Vril Society wields a secretive and limitless energy source to control society, CERN built a star gate to awaken the Egyptian god Osiris, and shape shifting reptilians from the Draco star system repair their human skin suits.

The defense argument becomes the race card of conspiracy theorists: a justified response to an undeniably existent, blatantly biased, and pan-societally accepted use of force that is defined by, stems from, and further perpetuates inequality.

Mirroring the evolution of the race card, the defense card is overused, then wrongfully used, and finally backfires when said overuse eventually negates any use, like the asshole kid who cried wolf instead of just fucking playing Starfox. Expectedly, the use of it (defense argument, not Starfox) discredits any reasonable conspiracy theory in *addition* to disinformation. Yes: the unreliable image of conspiracy theorists -that discredits their claims of truth- is indeed partially self inflicted by a minority of idiots in the conspiracy community. All the above is to say this: there are great conspiracy theories tainted by disinformation and individuals unable to grasp Occam's razor.

Note: the following classification of theories (in terms of probability) are based on my humble opinions, not diligent research. Classify them as you see fit in your mind.

There are legitimate -almost obvious- theories, like JFK, 9/11, the Fed, police state, world government, gun confiscation, Aurora spy plane (SR-72 no doubt), and false flags. Others seem to be a little more of a stretch, but still possible: HAARP weather manipulation, chemtrails, hidden AIDS/cancer cures, Jewish media control, and 1952 Roswell. And then the lunacy begins.

Everything written before this point was to set up this sentence: the following theory is half serious, half fun, and entirely unknowable to the author who rejects parchment, quill, and desk for iPhone, thumbs, and toilet. I'm an asshole on a toilet with too much time.

(End preface. Story starts now.)

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Part 1

[1992-2016]

Quick Recap of Ulterior Motives Hidden in Recent Historical Events

1. Clinton clears the US debt, makes US citizens fat, happy, and ignorant.

2. Booming economy allows to build a massive military and be the world police, winning hearts and minds abroad

3. The massive military is actually a long con for global dominance and a police state

4. 9/11 - justify invasion, NSA, TSA, fear

5. Bailout: more funds for military, long con to weaken resistance

6. People pissed, so toss em a bone: Obama (Guantanamo, healthcare, hope and change)

7. Arab spring - CIA long con for Islam invasion of the west

8. SOPA, PIPA, TPP - "they" know that internet saturation and evolution hits a point where the double edged sword strikes back

9. Jade Helm 16 - contingency plan in case of civilization uprising. It failed. Possibly sabotaged by patriots

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Part 2

A Revolution in the Dark

From the beginning of the election through present day - February 1, 2017 - some odd ball stuff has happened.

I am intrigued by the idea that a revolution - with the passion and impact of 1776 but technology and battlefields of 2016 -is occurring right now. The difference, however, is that the war is not being fought by an armed citizenry of millions roving the countryside, occupying urban centers, destroying vital infrastructure, or hanging politicians.

Furthermore, the oppressors are not wielding the hand of god to quell the peasants; rolling into captured cities with miles-long tank columns; instilling perpetual fear with the occasional biological attack; surgically removing the resistances' nervous system by frying the internet with a suborbital EMP blast; endless waves of buzzing black bombers diluting the sky over the doomed. Like a terminal patient looking down from a second story bedroom one night to see the indifferent glide of Deaths' cloak tail across the moonlit lawn.

Rather, it's some patriots taking down the illuminati (if you will) themselves, but no one knows it's happening. We're just seeing ripples and vibrations that alone just seem like another odd news story, but to connect the dots reveals an insane heavyweight fight occurring in the shadows.

But my theory is batshit crazy - and thats what makes it so fun. It’s part fact, part prediction, part hunch, and 99% imagination. So drop your political leanings, eat a dick, suspend your disbelief, and enjoy the fucking fiction.

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Part 3:

[Feb. 2015 - Jan. 20, 2017

Hidden in Plain Sight: Silent Shockwaves of a Shadow Civil War Manifested as Campaign Drama

It'd be loosely like pizzagate on the surface, in terms of how we learn about it:

"man that's messed up, some pedos in DC."

"Oh gross, there's another one in Australia."

"Some fucked up hollywood actors too. I guess the internet just allows us to be more aware of these things."

But then leaked emails, Reddit/voat censorship, cryptic threats from Netanyahu/Trump/Putin, creepy instagram posts, YouTube pulling vids, YouTube researchers getting death threats, weird code words popping up in emails of the elite, matching stories of victims spanning geography and decades.

It's like...."oh holy fucking shit. We could be on the verge of something equivalent to the Allies discovering the concentration camps. A huge, impossibly complex, unbelievably evil system."

Back to point. I'm entertaining the idea that this could be similar. Maybe in a year, maybe in 30 years. We'll watch documentaries and realize all the pieces were out there in plain sight, but the puzzle was so insane it was missed entirely or, if considered, was dismissed. Ya know like crazy shit homeless guy rant:

Seth rich leaked to assange and was killed, but then NSA higher ups also leaked under the name FBI Anon.

They knew of plans to bring in immigrants and destroy the West but couldn't actively oppose the president, so they also used the pseudonym Guccifer.

Obama was going to start WW3 earlier via creating ISIS, so intel higher ups (anonymous patriots) used agent Snowden as a shot across the bow to show they'd shake up the public if need be.

In turn, globalists sped up the invasion of the west and flexed their muscle via complete media control.

Dissenting patriots responded again with the clintons private server, which they'd known about for years, but decided to now dangle above O and HRC.

Media continued to build illusion.

So NSA patriots continually leaked Wikileaks everyday, showing that they could blow media bias away.

But they were in a pickle, because they couldn't release it all at once for fear of sparking civil or global war - so globalists had the upper hand there. Hillary missing for weeks at a time- nuclear bunker?

Globalists made open and veiled threats to assange, so Intel Patriots retaliated with a fear of the unknown: October Surprise.

O and HRC had no idea what it could be, so laid low, and instead made small chess moves BLM riots (charlottesville; police assassinations).

Knowing the Soros-funding of rioters wouldn't really be believed by the public, Intel patriots instead released evidence of Soros voting machines.

this was much more digestible because electronic voting has always been viewed warily by the public. because no matter an individuals' level of technological proficiency we always believe someone else is even more proficient. like the comical irony of conspiracy theorists never believing the truth because there must always be something crazier out there. Reasons/possibilities for public skepticism:

1. hacked: deleted

2. hacked: algorithms, which would be hard to ever prove because nobody really votes, despite keyboard SEALs

3. hacked: straight up fabricated

4. manufacturers can have agendas and install/rig software accordingly

5. manufacturers might take the highest bidder, install/rig software accordingly

6. manufacturers might have agendas, but they keep it to themselves (ethics; PR; legality; continued contracts). but outside parties (RNC/DNC/donors) could still possibly hack and alter the results

7. manufacturers might not have an agenda at all! al. but if JFK can have his head blown off, have Patsy after Patsy die, key witnesses disappear, and files closed for 3/4 century....surely a Diebold CEO can be intimidated

*Essentially, electronic election fraud was one possibility that the majority of people entertained as probable:

1. Young people's distrust + knowledge of technology = they believe it possible.

2. Baby boomer generation and older, though traditionally trusting of government/MSM, view technology as black magic- think son is a genius because he reset the wifi router. Thus, who knows what "they" are capable of

3. Or, ya know, like dad/grandma seeing a picture of her on your Facebook, and fearing that her bank account is gonna be hacked. They believe any and all things are possible

*So even if electronic voting fraud isn't real, the establishment has no trust, and thus it's seen as likely. So the patriots played that card.

*But even if likely, who is the one doing it? There has to be a face on it. Well here enters Soros. the public is too skeptical of BLM riots being funded by soros, or anyone for that matter. So even if he really did fund, patriots don't want to discredit themselves and look crazy.

*remember, they're not just supported by skeptical millennials. they must also gain the support of the baby boomer sheeple. Baby steps. You don't just jump from pledge of allegiance to FEMA death camps and satanic rituals. Start with Snowden, operation Northwoods, etc.*

*Building on that point, hacked voting machines are definitely believable. It's also believable that a billionaire is behind this, thanks again to gradual establishment distrust

*That is, the idea of billionaire donors controlling our politicians like puppets went from crazy, to possible, to probable, to confined cases, to acknowledging it's widespread/being angry but not doing anything, to not being angry and accepted as the norm ("just the way world works. always has, always will")

*But even if likely, who is the one doing it? There has to be a face on it. Well here enters Soros. the public is too skeptical of BLM riots being funded by soros, or anyone for that matter. So even if he really did fund, patriots don't want to discredit themselves and look crazy.

*remember, they're not just supported by skeptical millennials. they must also gain the support of the baby boomer sheeple. Baby steps. You don't just jump from pledge of allegiance to FEMA death camps and satanic rituals. Start with Snowden, operation Northwoods, etc. ***(expand on idea: Pizzagate going slow; departed can't let em know)

*Building on that point, hacked voting machines are definitely believable. It's also believable that a billionaire is behind this, thanks again to gradual establishment distrust

*That is, the idea of billionaire donors controlling our politicians like puppets went from crazy, to possible, to probable, to confined cases, to acknowledging it's widespread/being angry but not doing anything, to not being angry and accepted as the norm ("just the way world works. always has, always will")

*So. Patriots hold off on riots/Pizzagate and stick to voting machines. And for the forces behind it, they hold off on NWO and instead stick to a guy looking to profit- like he did in UK (1bn£ in a day).

*Important take away: patriots have primed public just in case-post election -they need to drop evidence of vote tampering. It needs to be "told you so."

*It must not be bullshitty: obama made a mockery of trump suggesting he won't accept the election results, and unintentionally fucked himself and his Russian hacking narrative.

*So by having a primed warhead, the patriots threat of leaking it - and causing mass uprisings, potential foreign opportunist interference- is a legitimate threat to globalists, Inc. deterrent

*Globalist deterrent: patriot hackers (traitors), Wikileaks = CIA, etc. the patriots have stronger evidence. But the advantage of the globalist side is they are still believable even with less convincing/fabricated evidence: people want to believe the government

*So, Both sides were fairly equal now and for the first time in decades, the election was not rigged, because of mutual assured destruction to both sides. That is, establishment always knew it was rigged, but now the existence of opposing factions pretty much assured that, in response to whoever won, the loser would show irrefutable evidence of rigging. And vice Versa.

*So they unintentionally caused an election where they had to completely get their hands out of it, so if they won, there would truly be no evidence of it being illegitimate. So we had a fair election. This was decided on let's say October 8th

*Hilariously so, neither side could come out and say, "hey public, this ones for real!" So instead, we saw some other telltale signs of it being real:

1. Obama: "personal insult to myself and my legacy if blacks don't vote Clinton”

2. Bernie: they truly needed his supporters

3. Surrogates: Michelle, Bill, etc

4. CNN: legitimate reactions of fear during election night

5. Insanely close popular vote: Clinton false polls made supporters lazy and content; Trump supporters truly had to come out in droves

6. Trends: Blue States going red; red states being less homogenous in long time

7. Hillary Clinton: safe states that she didn't visit - couldn't be grabbed by algorithm

8. Trump: the election could be rigged (he has personal leakers report to him), inspiring his supporters

9. Debates: Trump PIC actually had massive effect

10. Debates: Hillary begins each debate with "join us on our website to fact check." Aka we can't deny facts any longer so we spin them. Aka this debate actually matters ohfuck.mp4

11. Beatings: Trump supporters getting mobbed by clinton supporters because intimidation was next best thing (behind vote fraud). Aka "you could be next"

12. Obama: not a mention of trump beatings. "No one will come to your side"

13. Police endorsement: trump beatings might have facilitated this

14. O'Keefe: evidence of hands on influencing voters/PR false flags/"fuck ethics," aka we can't do it electronically, so let's do this

15. Closet Trumpers: for different reasons, many did fear to support- physical beating, workplace bias, social suicide, familial trouble, character assassination, vandalism.

16. Closet Trumpers: seemed believable that Clinton ahead (and thus believable election fraud) because bullying made it seem like trump supporters were 1/4X instead of X

17. Closet Trumpers: themselves convinced their numbers were small, influence them not to vote - main reason trump rallies never shown

18. Closet Trumpers: but it was like a professor evaluation or anonymous whistleblower; some closet Trumpers fixated on voting simply to fight back, albeit silently

*Spotlight: Lastly, it was all such a shit show that it was under closer observation than any other election, and possibly influenced normally lazy voters

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SIDE NOTE

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This theory is supported by the fact Clinton essentially vanished august-November

1. there was no reason for her to campaign because she was to do that for show and have the votes spun her away regardless

2. Degrading health, why show it if unnecessary

3. Can now focus all her time on dealing with Wikileaks fallout

4. She simply didn't know how to do it: she beat Bernie by point #1 and nothing else

5. Furthermore, no president had ever done this prior. So why her and why now?

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BACK ON TOPIC

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*recap: so fair election = MSM puts the team on its back = get audience = cover relevant topics

*But in order to capture audiences, they couldn't cover the same distracting topics that are regurgitated every election. So to get audiences, MSM had to -gasp- cover meaningful topics: unemployment, GDP, mass incarceration, global education rank, radical Islamic terrorism, gutting the country of jobs.

*They could still try to spin it. But those raw facts alone - even before spin from either side - were damaging to globalists. That's because the state of affairs is shit, bad for the masses, and a result of globalism.

*So from the get-go, they're hurting, but there is literally no other option: no vote rigging, Clinton can't campaign, won't make a move for free of patriots retaliating via Assange. So they sucked it up and did all they could do: turn MSM propaganda bias up to 11

*this definitely helped them damage control. but pushing it any further would've made the fact that it's controlled propaganda very clear to the people. And if that happened, it'd be ignored entirely (boy who cried wolf) and the globalists would've destroyed the only weapon allowed in this fight, which exactly what happened with FBI spinning Clinton file

*where globalist suffered, patriots benefited: state of affairs strengthened their support. But they benefitted in other ways too: the globalists turning MSM bias up to 11 made the conservative news look all the more neutral (even if they weren't).

*but relevant topics were not just the shit state of affairs. The ever advancing connective abilities of the internet pushes stories into public consciousness - that would've normally been blacked out:

1. O'Keefe videos

2. his name was Seth Rich

3. debate collusion

4. FBI blatantly not doing their job.

5. Guccifer

6. Anthony Penis

*stepped up a notch and got some nitrous under the hood: Wikileaks blew the roof off this mother with bomb after bomb:

1. Pay to play

2. quid pro quo

3. private server

4. CF

5. Public, private stance.

6. Gun control executive order

*At this point, it seems logical that MSM would continue to 11-bias stories, but then just black out others - because no amount of spin could fix those. But this wasn't an option because they were facing a ludicrous opponent; Trump was gonna sling that controversial shit at the fan anyways.

*So controversy, corruption, and power moves became the hot gossip for the masses, and the singular tool to be used by patriots/globalists. Just have to take the reigns, right?

*Nope. In addition to being forced to cover even the worst news -because Trump was going to anyway - they also were forced what to cover.* because Trump is an entertainer and knows how to stir the pot. So his presence is a double whammy:

1. They have to cover the damaging stories

2. Trump gets to choose which stories

*Extra damaging:

*patriots choose what leaks come next*

*the only way globalists could respond is by (over)using their only weapon: MSM bias. Now with diminishing returns, they turned it up to 15, making them look even worse

*so Trump in a position where he controls the narrative by using offensive, outlandish, unpresidential, childish, statements in order to get everyone's attention. He's on twitter at 3am.

*He uses the attention getting-statements as Trojan horses. The first step is genius because:

1.Forces topics to be discussed

2. he decides *what* is discussed

3. MSM gets viewers = profit

*Second step is Trojan horses, different forms

1. Serious topic, delivered as insane banter = MSM coverage

2. Serious topic, delivered kinda serious, but slipped in between tweet spotlight, picked up in the whirlwind = MSM coverage

3. serious topic, delivered calmly/professionally. contrasts the usual insanity and doesn't seem so big - whereas normally it'd be a crazy rant

*Gets people's attention:

1. "They're rapists" (Mexico)

2. "Bad hombres" (Mexico)

3. "Ten feet taller" (wall)

4. "And Mexicos gonna pay for it" (wall)

5. "What do you have to lose? (Blacks)

6. "She's ugly and that's why her husband left her" (Arianna Huffington of Hp)

7. "Fat ugly face" (Rosie odonnell)

8. "Id date her if she wasn't my daughter" (ivanka)

9. "I have long fingers, and other long body parts"

10. "She's the devil" (Hillary)

11. "Socialist Bernie" (sanders)

12. "Low Energy Jeb" (bush)

13. "Crooked Hillary" (Clinton)

14. "2nd Amendment people should kill Hillary"

15. "Lyin' Ted" (ted Cruz)

16. "Ted Cruz has an ugly wife"

17. "Ted Cruz's Dad killed JFK"

18. "Ted Cruz is the zodiac killer"

19. "Obama created ISIS"

20. "Obama forged his birth certificate"

21. "Ban all muslims"

22. "Why have nukes if you don't use em"

*And other ridiculous shit:

1. Open to using nukes (Europe, China)

2. Blow Iranian boats out of the water

3. Take Iraq Oil

*So now the election/Election Day is covered by his topics- that hurts globalist, inc.

1. Relevant: Wall vs open borders = Muslim migrants; illegals, jobs; Pulse night club, manhattan dumpster

2. Ethical: Wikileaks, Bernie screwed

3. Funny as hell: rednecks vs BLM; super-conservatives vs 940 genders; military men vs SJW snowflakes; PIC vs PC;

4. MSM: propaganda seen so clearly

5. Youth Appeal: anti-Establishment; weed

6. Global Audience: ISIS; immigration crisis; UN Israel; Syria; China/Mexico jobs; Brexit

7. $$ Bills y'all: corporate tax slashed; want real jobs back

8. WTF: nuclear codes; clowns; Kanye; Pepe; meme magic

*But then the globalists lashed out like a cornered animal, funding protests, opposition, recounts, and the Russian narrative.

*It wasn't entirely bought because public trust of the MSM had been fatally wounded, Wikileaks damaged HRC irreversibly, and on a personal level, people wanted Trump simply to have steady jobs again.

*But globalists went hysterical: kicked out diplomats, shut down Russian compound, ended kremlin communication, and moved spec ops/troop to Russian border.

*So patriots basically did a silent coup: bring carriers home, told Putin to be patient, etc. who knows, maybe even disabled nuclear football.

*They'll allow O to go out (relatively) quietly now with the a metaphorical gun to his head, but if he flinches, military will occupy D.C. until Trump transition.

*Trump is now in office, signing EOs, and making big changes - for better or worse, depending on your political leaning. The market is reacting positively, the corporate leaders are behind it, and the military is in love.

*Globalist are funding worldwide protests to make it seem like everyone hates Trump. Probably priming the the public's perception so that an assassination attempt won't seem surprising.

*Intel patriots responded with bomb: pizzagate. You will all be fucking lynched. This transcends politics: every parent, aunt/uncle, grandparent, sibling, neighbor and teacher will lose composure as their most primal protective instincts boil their blood and demand proactive hunting.

*globalists are out of moves, so they're just throwing everything they have in vain, like Tom Hanks in Saving Private Ryan firing his pistol at a panzer tank. Celebrity petitions, Calexit, He Will Not Divide Us cameras, etc. it's finished.

*But if they do pull a fast one, Pizzagate will be dropped. They're not dumb though: they know it'll be dropped eventually anyway. So they have two options:

1. Make a Hail Mary attempt and take out the president, with a 0.001% chance of success, the failure of which brings Pizzagate

2. Pizzagate comes eventually, so run and hide, or at least go drink and fuck and indulge in drugs while you can.

*granted, it's my crazy batshit hypothesis. But how insane would that be. I mean it's already gripping story line with global implications...but then to add to it, the entire thing was in the shadows. A heavyweight boxing match in the dark, making no noise.

FUTURE: NOT ALL FLOWERS AND SUNSHINE (just kidding)

*We'll see a lot of suicides once the news starts breaking across the world - you heard it here first. Vigilante man hunts take place and unfortunately, people are wrongfully killed. Despite them being scum, Trump demands law and order to protect those innocent. Once that is established, the guilty are executed on live television. This is not an act of barbarism; it is for the parents of the victims, and parents of the living, to see with their own eyes a blade disconnecting heads from necks. It is also the ultimate punishment: your faces will always be remembered.

*The worst of the worst, the masterminds, receive a different punishment. They are put in a capsule with cutting edge life support, launched on one of Elon's rockets, and gently placed on passing interstellar comet, aptly dubbed Comet Ping Pong. They are kept alive in order to endure it. Alone, silent, and with no hope for rescue, they travel through the endless blackness, too far away forn anyone to hear their cries of help - much like the innocent children they abused. They are not rescued.

*The left and the right unite, apologizing, for neither knew what was going on behind the curtain. Civil discussion, constructive criticism, and compassionate debate are agreed as things that must continue for eons to come.

*America's economy blossoms unlike anything the world has ever seen. International relations flourish. Elon Musk gets federal funding out the ass and in just a couple years, we're energy independent and completely green. We build vertical farms across the Midwest, increasing food yield by 500%, and freeing up endless miles of flat land for hypersized solar farms. US Department of Energy achieves cheap desalinization. It benefits the US initially, but after executive order, the patent is lifted for betterment of the worlds poorest.

*With Pizzagate fresh in the minds of the masses, political correctness and soft approaches are gone: much like post 9/11, people want the gloves off. ISIS has to go.

*China, USA, Russia, Japan, Jordan, Australia, and Madagascar (fuck it why not) meet in secret to discuss ISIS. All agree: the Deep State pedo-cumtard globalists are gone, and it is now clear the world could've been living in peace since about 1900. However, although ISIS was created by globalists, it is self sustaining and has been for quite some time. With PC shit gone, it becomes comically obvious that hyper advanced militaries are about to fight backwards fossilized fucks. So they begin to plan their attack, which will be a swift, simultaneous, international scale decapitation strike.

*To the surprise of none of them, all the powerful nations completely disregarded the ban of weapons in space; the US with the X-37B, and China and Russia with their own respective technologies. They all laugh. Madagascar is blown away though; It is agreed they get to press the button of one kinetic strike.

*Other black technology surfaces: China has perfected the robotic soldier and pinpoint cyber attacks. Russia constructed the massive tanks that Hitler dreamed of (think battleship guns on a land platform). The US built the Aurora fighter in the 1990s as the successor to the SR-71, doubling the speed to Mach 6. After two failed test flights in 2011, DARPA secretly perfected the Falcon HTV-2, a hypersonic scramjet missile-delivery platform that tops out at Mach 22 (the Space Shuttle went Mach 25 during reentry). The US has "Rods from God," tungsten rods the size of telephone poles, that drop from orbit, hitting the Earth with the force of a small nuclear bomb - without the radiation. Madagascar reveals the Kevlar vest - everyone acts impressed for the little guy. Lastly, some patriots in the NSA have, through some fucking way, planted RFID tags on every ISIS member.

*The attack takes place on 9/11, 2017, and lasts 4 hours. Bigly successful.

*Now the world economy blossoms. Classified technology with civilian application is exchanged. Militaries are still kept, as it is agreed it will be the new form of checks and balances. USA had the three branches; Earth has different nations. 2nd amendment = nuclear arms.

*Genomic and nanobot healthcare surge forward, slashing death rates. Those same technologies create an abundance of resources, so the global population doesn't matter. Resource boom drops crime drastically. Automation increases wealth, not wiping out jobs. Drugs are legalized across the board to defund cartels. Strict regulations and education are enacted, and adults are allowed to enjoy what they would like because, well, they are fucking independent adults.

*Psychedelics are legalized for mental healthcare, as Johns Hopkins and Harvard U. finish dozens of studies showing the efficacy of psilocybin, LSD, and MDMA at treating depression, anxiety, PTSD, addiction, etc. This is currently proven through MAPS - the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies. But just like SJWs unintentionally created the alt-right, psychedelics do more than ever expected. The everyday American becomes more woke than Alex Jones concerning the world, and more woke than Buddha regarding the soul. Further world peace ensues as social constructions and prejudices break down.

*Automation fully takes over and every human has infinite time to pursue hobbies, world peace allows it to happen unimpeded, and psychedelics ramp everyone's creativity level to 11, on that Leonardo Da Vinci/Nikola Tesla level, as well as new heights of art. Inventions are manifested that no one could've ever fucking seen. The first major achievement is feeding, hydrating, clothing, educating, and housing every human on Earth, with no exceptions.

*The second major achievement is light speed engines, allowing humans to colonize the solar system by 2020 - 50 years sooner than predicted

*The third major achievement is Faster Than Light (FTL) travel. The Earth voted collectively and names the first ship the Trump Train. We aim it at galaxy GN-z11, the most distant galaxy in the universe - 32 billion light years away. We lose contact with it instantly; it blows a hole through the moon.

*The next day, using their FTL engine, we finally make contact. Aliens come to Washington DC. They've been observing us for millennia, but we've never been ready. They even tried making contact throughout the 1900s, but the Deep State covered it up. They saw with zero doubt that humans were dirt. Until the Trump Train, with Voyager II smashed to the front, blew past their planet and beyond the horizon of the observable universe. So they now knew we had technology, but doubted we advanced socially. To their happiness, we had drained the swamp, and executed those responsible for abusing the most innocent amongst ala Pizzagate.

*They announce that they will share their technologies with us, and it turns out, we have some novel inventions for them that they would love to look into it.

*They come out of their ships

*They are frogs.

*A planet wide party ensues; meme magic is fucking real

*Together, humans and the pepeiz (pronounced "Pepe"), invent artificial intelligence, and surge forward with even crazier advancements.

*As we approach the Technological Singularity, Trump is asked about his existence (With advanced VR, Trump "tweets" are actually face-to-face conversations). It turns out, he is not a time traveler. He's just a guy that wanted to make the world better. Billionaire, egotistical past, multiple marriages - an important message is taught: Don't judge a book by its cover. If it looks stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid. He really is just a fucking madman.

*We surge forward even farther, with a hyper intelligent AI as the engine. We now make as many advancements in a day as we used to in a decade. Society and culture is unrecognizable.

*We go over the threshold of the singularity: the first nanosecond yields more technological advancements than all that occurred between 10,000 BCE - 2016 AD. And the second nanosecond yields all that, plus the first nanosecond. And so on.

*Until that time reaches picoseconds (1/10th a nanosecond).

*Then femtoseconds.

*Attoseconds.

*Zeptoseconds.

*Yoctoseconds. This is amount of time it takes for light to travel across the nucleus of a hydrogen atom. Perspective: Light circumnavigates the world 7.5x per second.

*Existence is unrecognizable. It is easier for us to understand life at that point -- where in one yoctosecond more progress occurs than from the stone wheel to the Large Hadron Collider -- than it is for a single cellular organism to understand quantum physics.

*Sentience has become omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. That is, each of us has become that. The universe gets woke. Consciousness pervades all; it is all you. And that's when you realize that none of this was ever real in the first place.

*You, and me, which are the same thing, can do anything and everything, so why live out a cool story? Why not dream bipedal meat bags, living on a piece of iron-silicate dust, floating and tumbling endlessly through the cosmos? Evolution from primordial goo to apes, from apes to monkeys? Build the great pyramids, continue towards Manhattan, go to the moon, invent virtual reality? Live under an oppressive cult of satanic Illuminati pedo fucks for centuries, only to one day be liberated, to see the light, to experience the people of the world unite in exalting bliss? To care for the rejected and forgotten third world billions? To use FTL light engines to travel the final frontier of outer space, and psychedelics for inner space? To make contact with fucking Pepe incarnate? To step over the technological singularity threshold into the throes of infinity?

*So that's what you, we, I (because we're all one) did: we lived a dream that was fucking nuts. A dream that was a great sequence of events. A dream that was a top-tier chronology of actions. A dream that was...Best Timeline.

*But what's the only thing that could be better than Best Timeline? After all, it's a story that could never be topped, with maxed-out levels of magic, mystery, and madness. What dream could possibly be better than Best Timeline, where it starts with pain, crawls out of darkness, finds the light, dances in world peace, and ends with becoming the universe itself?

*The only dream better than that would be the exact same dream, but you don't know it's a dream. You think it's all for real, you get anxious, it's all pain that ends in the void. But then you wake up! And release a bigly sigh of relief. THAT would be the best dream, the Best Timeline.

*Now, if you were in that dream - that Best Timeline - wouldn't you maybe leave hints for yourself? In case it got too depressing, scary, or anxiety inducing? To remind yourself you're just dreaming? Leave yourself a hint, like, oh I dunno, this story that you're reading right now?

*You would.

*And you did.

*You wrote this. The Best Timeline dream. And that dream...

...Is where you are now, living the life you are actually living today. Your morning commute, your favorite socks, your friends and family, your ups and downs, your orgasms and heartbreaks, and the fucked up secrets you're taking to the grave are all here, within the dream. A dream where you forget that you are dreaming, making it possible to really get into it, like watching a horror film alone on a Friday night and forgetting it's just a movie.

And when you wake up, you smack your forehead with your palm and say, “Oh god dammit, how didn't I see that!?” You could've done anything. You can do anything in all of the dream universes you've created over the eons, but you always know you're dreaming. It's like watching the Olympics halfway around the world: the competition is fierce, but the different time zones means you know the outcome. So your mindyt creates your reality, but you don't know you're dreaming! A delicate balance of entertainment indeed.

And there lies the sweet spot. To live a sizeable chunk, maybe even the majority, of your life thinking you're a helpless little meat bag careening through the void, only to slowly wake up. To lucid dream. But you designed the dream so you can never fully wake up - you're bored of those dreams. Like video games with the God mode cheats on- sometimes the challenge is more fun. So you can lucid dream, but never be 100% certain this is fantasy until the threshold of death.

“But how will I know for sure I'm lucid dreaming?” You might start with a blatant hint to yourself- like this story you've written. But maybe your story hasn't convinced you. Well you took that possibility into account and left larger clues hidden in plain sight:

You live on a rock orbiting a sphere of fire

You drive a meatbag, communicate by vibrating the atmosphere, and are a slave to the nerve endings between your legs

Huge puffy thinks called clouds just fucking float around all day

Trees stick out of the ground that, if you stare at them long enough, look psychedelic as fuck

The 2016 US election

And the two dead give sways: 1) You don't remember anything before birth. 2) No one knows what lays beyond the event horizon of brain death

So you're here to wake up to a lucid dream, to be forced to use faith in the unknown in order to free yourself from the chains of existential anxiety. And if you succeed in doing that, life becomes a marvelous party.

“Life became immeasurably better the moment I was forced to stop taking it so seriously.” - Hunter S. Thompson

You're dreaming the Best Timeline.