"But what can we do, as young men, as examples, to deal with these issues? We are role models. We want change in our communities? That change can be seen in us."

Young men modeling new behaviors. It's the approach Mtibe will emphasize repeatedly with the Youth Indaba, especially with how they relate to the girls and women in their lives and community.

There are various opinions on why South Africa has such high levels of violence in general, and against women and girls in particular. Patriarchy and intractable cultural assumptions like President Zuma's certainly contribute, though these attitudes are in no way confined to South Africa. Many point to the crippling dehumanization of the apartheid system. The scope of brokenness—in both individuals and society—created by more than 350 years of colonialism and oppression has yet to be fully understood, much less addressed.

For many years, gender-based violence has been seen primarily as a gender issue, to be taken up by South African women activists who are, undoubtedly, formidable. Now Sonke has become a leader in the burgeoning movement to tackle the violence where it generally originates, with men, and usually directed at their intimate partners. At the Gugulethu clinic, this work begins with creating a safe and judgment-free space where men and boys can discuss their health and emotional issues with male nurses and doctors.

"[We] focus mainly on HIV and AIDS prevention and gender-based violence, with the initiative of being able to change men's behaviors so that they care more about their health and their partners," says Nelisiwe Ohajunwa, another One Man Can trainer working in Gugulethu. "In most cases, men are more open to talking about issues of violence [than of health]. The HIV follows into the conversation and that's where we come in with the link to gender-based violence and HIV. Because they are linked."

South Africa has the largest number of people living with HIV in the world, an estimated 5.6 million people. A 2004 study found, "Women who are beaten or dominated by their partners are nearly 50 percent more likely to become infected with HIV than women in non-violent households." Young women in particular suffer these effects. For those South Africans ages 15 to 24 who are infected with HIV, three-quarters are women.

Nearly three-quarters—73 percent—of the admitted perpetrators in the anonymous 2009 MRC study on rape said they carried out their first assault before the age of 20. Thus Sonke's outreach to young people.

"All of them face challenges of HIV, violence, substance abuse, teen pregnancy," Ohajunwa says. "But people tend not to talk about these issues in their own households. They sweep them under the carpet, because of shame and stigma.

"One of the main questions that come up [in Youth Indaba] is, what do we mean when we talk about gender-based violence? So if I have a fight with my girlfriend and I give her a smack, [the boys ask], is that gender-based violence? They want the definition. They also want to know when they are violated as well. Because some of them are hit or bitten by their girlfriends and it's not something they can talk about. But this is a space where they feel they can share these kinds of things."