1. A bit of crumpet

2. A bit of “How’s yer father?”

3. A bit of the old in-out, in-out

4. Accommodation

5. Act of darkness

6. Adult naptime

7. Afternoon delight

8. Aggressive cuddling

9. Agreeing on stuff

10. Amorous congress

11. Assault with a friendly weapon

12. Attacking the pink fortress

13. Baking the potato

14. Balling

15. Bam-bam in the ham

16. Banana in a fruit salad

17. Bandicooting

18. Banging

19. Barneymugging

20. Basket-making

21. Batter-dipping the corn dog

22. Beard-splitting

23. Beating guts

24. Bedroom rodeo

25. Being intimate

26. Belly-bumping

27. Bending her over a barrel and showing her the fifty states

28. Bisecting the triangle

29. Blitzkrieg mit dem fleischgewehr

30. Blowing the grounsils

31. Bludgeoning the flaps

32. Bodging

33. Boffing

34. Boinking

35. Bonestorming

36. Boning

37. Boom-boom

38. Boppin’ squiddles

39. Bouncy-bouncy

40. Bow-chick-a-wow-wow

41. Bringing an al dente noodle to the spaghetti house

42. Bruising the beef curtains

43. Buckwilding

44. Bulging the back of the old onion bag

45. Bumping uglies

46. Buttering the biscuit

47. Burping the worm in the mole hole

48. Burying the weasel

49. Bushwacking

50. Buying Frisbees

51. Buzzing the Brillo

52. Carnal knowledge

53. Cattle-prodding the oyster ditch with the lap rocket

54. Caulking the tub

55. Cave-diving

56. Charvering

57. Checking the oil

58. Chesterfield rugby

59. Christening the yak

60. Churning butter

61. Cleaning the cobwebs with the womb broom

62. Clicketing

63. Clunge plunge

64. Commixtion

65. Completing the jigsaw puzzle

66. Corking the onion

67. Crashing the custard truck

68. Creaming the Twinkie

69. Crunching guts

70. Crushing buns

71. Cully-shangying

72. Dancing in the sheets

73. Dancing the goat’s jig

74. Daubing the brush

75. Dickening

76. Digging up the sand crab

77. Dinky-tickling

78. Dipping the crane in the oil well

79. Dipping the stinger in the honey

80. Dipping the wick

81. Disappointing the wife

82. Docking

83. Doddling

84. Doing it

85. Doing squat thrusts in the cucumber patch

86. Doing the Devil’s dance

87. Doing the dirty deed

88. Doing the dipsy doodle

89. Doing the do

90. Doing the hibbety-dibbety

91. Doing the horizontal greased-weasel tango

92. Doing the mystery dance

93. Doing the nasty

94. Doing the wild thing

95. Doinking

96. Doodle-bopping

97. Doodling

98. Drabbling

99. Driving Miss Daisy

100. Dunking the dingus

101. Enraging the cave

102. Entangling the lower beards

103. Entering the castle

104. Exploring Punarnia

105. Extreme flirting

106. Feeding the kitty

107. Fenorking

108. Ferking

109. Fettling

110. Fickey-fick

111. Fidgeting the midget in Bridget

112. Filling her out like an application

113. Filling the cream donut

114. Filling the gas tank

115. Fishing for kippers

116. Fixing the clap flap

117. Fletching

118. Flimp-flopping

119. Forbidden polka

120. Four-legged foxtrot

121. Frickle-frackle

122. Frigging

123. Fucking

124. Funny business

125. Furgling

126. Getting a bellyful of marrow

127. Getting busy

128. Getting down

129. Getting it on

130. Getting laid

131. Getting some

132. Getting up in them guts

133. Getting one’s banana peeled

134. Getting one’s bean waxed

135. Getting one’s bone honed

136. Getting one’s canoe shellacked

137. Getting one’s kettle mended

138. Getting one’s Twinkie stinky

139. Getting some stank on the hang down

140. Giving her the beans

141. Giving the dog a bone

142. Going all the way

143. Going balls-deep

144. Going crab fishing in the Dead Sea

145. Going heels-to-Jesus

146. Going in the nappy dugout

147. Going to the grocery store

148. Gland-to-gland combat

149. Glazing the donut

150. Greasing the loaf pan

151. Grummeting

152. Gutsticking

153. Hanging 20 toes

154. Hanging at the Y

155. Hanky panky

156. Harpooning the salty longshoreman

157. Having relations

158. Having hot pudding for supper

159. Hiding the bishop

160. Hiding the Nazi

161. Hitting a home run

162. Hitting the skins

163. Hitting the upvote button

164. Hot beef injection

165. Humpy-squirty

166. Horizontal refreshments

167. Hot yoga

168. Humping

169. Huntching

170. Interior decorating

171. Introducing Charley

172. Intromission

173. Jamming the clam

174. Jerking it where she’s twerking it

175. Jerking off with someone to talk to

176. Jiffy-stiffing

177. Jiggery-pokery

178. Jingle-jangling

179. Jinking

180. Jiving

181. Joint session of Congress

182. Jumping bones

183. Jumping the turnstile

184. Knobbing

185. Knocking boots

186. Knowing someone in the biblical sense

187. Launching the meat missile

188. Laying pipe

189. Loading the clown into the cannon

190. Locking legs and swapping gravy

191. Lust-and-thrust

192. Makin’ bacon

193. Making a magical sandwich

194. Making it

195. Making love

196. Making one’s way downtown

197. Making the beast with two backs

198. Making whoopee

199. Marital congress

200. Mashing the fat

201. Mattress-dancing

202. Matrimonial polka

203. Midnight jockey ride

204. Mingling limbs

205. Mishing

206. Moistening the Pope

207. Mollocking

208. Monkey business

209. Monster mashing

210. Mort douce

211. Mortar and pestle

212. Moving furniture

213. Myrtling

214. Naffing

215. Nailing

216. Negotiating the forested chasm

217. Nobbling

218. Noddy

219. Nubbing

220. Nugging

221. Nurtling

222. Nut in the gut

223. Nygling

224. Occupying

225. Opening the gates of Mordor

226. Organ grinding

227. Oscillating the unmentionables

228. Paddling up Coochie Creek

229. Palliardizing

230. Pants-off dance-off

231. Parallel parking

232. Parking the beef bus in Tuna Town

233. Parting the pink sea

234. Passing the gravy

235. Patching the hatchet wound

236. Peeling the tree bark

237. Pelvic pinochle

238. Phutzing

239. Pickling the prime meridian

240. Pile-driving

241. Pizzling

242. Planting the parsnip

243. Playing a game of Mr. Wobbly hides his helmet

244. Playing dungeons and dragons

245. Playing hide the cannoli

246. Playing peek-a-boo with your vein cane in the flesh pipe

247. Playing Tetris

248. Playing with the box the kid came in

249. Plonking

250. Plooking

251. Plowing through the bean field

252. Plugging

253. Pogo in the shrub

254. Poking squid

255. Pole-varnishing

256. Polishing the porpoise

257. Pondering the unicorn

258. Porking

259. Posting a letter

260. Pounding the paternal piston

261. Pounding the punani pavement

262. Puddle-snuggling

263. Pranging

264. Praying with the knees upwards

265. Pressing dangly parts

266. Pressing the baby button

267. Pressure-washing the quiver bone in the bitch wrinkle

268. Prick-scouring

269. Prigging

270. Pronging

271. Pully-hawly

272. Pumping fur

273. Punch-fucking the rosebud

274. Punching the cow

275. Putting condensed milk on the waffle

276. Putting ranch dressing in Hidden Valley

277. Putting the bread in the oven

278. Putting the email in the spam folder

279. Putting the wand in the chamber of secrets

280. Quelching

281. Quimsticking

282. Releasing the Kraken

283. Riding St. George

284. Riding the bolonga pony

285. Riding the Bony Express

286. Rip-‘n’-Dip

287. Roasting the broomstick

288. Rocking ‘n’ rolling

289. Rogering

290. Rolling in the hay

291. Rooting

292. Roughing up the suspect

293. Rubbing the fun bits

294. Rubbing wet spots

295. Rumbusticating

296. Rummaging in the root cellar

297. Rumpling

298. Rumpy-pumpy

299. Rutting

300. Schnoodlypooping

301. Scoring

302. Scragging

303. Screwing

304. Scrogging

305. Scromping

306. Scrumping

307. Searching for pocket change

308. Seeing a man about a dog

309. Sending out for sushi

310. Sexual congress

311. Sexy time

312. Shaboinking

313. Shafting

314. Shagging

315. Shaking sheets

316. Shampooing the wookie

317. Sharpening the pencil

318. Sheathing the meat dagger

319. Shocking the monkey

320. Shooting the meat rocket into the sausage wallet

321. Shrimpin’ the Barbie

322. Shtupping

323. Shucking the oyster

324. Sinking the pink

325. Skeet-shooting

326. Skinning the cat

327. Sklooging

328. Slamming the clam

329. Slap and tickle

330. Slapping sloppies

331. Slaying the vadragon

332. Sliming the banana

333. Slippin’ and slidin’

334. Slophockey

335. Smacking the salmon

336. Smashing buttflaps

337. Smashing pissers

338. Smegging

339. Snabbling

340. Snibbing

341. Snu-snu

342. Souring the kraut

343. Spearing the bearded clam

344. Spelunking the slime cave

345. Splitting the hamster

346. Splooge bathing

347. Splurgin’ the nurge

348. Spray-painting the cervix

349. Squat-jumping in the cucumber patch

350. Squishin’ the gibbly bits

351. Sticking it in the slop box

352. Sticking the llama’s head up the lift shaft

353. Stirring guts

354. Stirring the up-skirt yogurt

355. Struggle snuggling

356. Stuffin’ the muffin

357. Stuffing the taco

358. Swanky swirling

359. Sweeping the chimney

360. Switcheling

361. Taking Grandma to Applebee’s

362. Taking ol’ One-Eye to the optometrist

363. Taking the bald-headed gnome for a stroll in the misty forest

364. Taking the magic bus to Manchester

365. Taming the strange

366. Tapping ass

367. Testing the humidity

368. Testing the suspension

369. Thumping thighs

370. Thrashing the gash

371. Threading the needle

372. Thrumming

373. Tickling her tummy from the inside

374. Tiffing

375. Tonking

376. Torpedoing the eel

377. Tripping down the mine shaft

378. Tromboning

379. Tube-snake boogie

380. Tubular wedging

381. Tumbling

382. Tunnel patrol

383. Twirling the Dum Dum

384. Two-ball in the middle pocket

385. Two-person push-ups

386. Tying the true lover’s knot

387. Using a telescope to explore the black hole

388. Venerean mirth

389. Venery

390. Violating the prime directive

391. Vulcanizing the whoopee stick

392. Waka-waka

393. Waxing ass

394. Wetting the willy

395. Whitewashing the picket fence

396. Whittling the love branch

397. Wiggling the toothpick

398. Yentzing

399. Yiffing

400. Zig-Zagging