Social media is boosting competitive parenting – from posts about crafting, to manicured lawns and organized toys, or moms with post-baby bodies that bounce back in weeks. And now, as students return to school, there is yet another domestic task to master: Healthy, tasty kids’ food arranged creatively in a lunchbox. These lunch ideas – once confined to magazines or morning shows – are now posted on Facebook, Instagram and Pinterest, giving the impression that some parents are accomplishing a certain amount of work and creativity that others may not have the inclination, time or money to take on themselves.

“Everyone has a competitive nature,” says Cassandra Vanderwall, a clinical nutritionist at the University of Wisconsin Hospitals and Clinics in Madison. “Some are motivated by it, and others are debilitated by it.”

There is no shortage of inspiration to choose from online – and meals appear as aesthetic as they do appetizing, with special attention paid to healthy ensembles. Moms and dads cut sandwiches in the shapes of bears, bunnies, caterpillars or even favorite videogame characters. They fill bento box-shaped lunchboxes with cucumbers cut into stars, or stack tomatoes and mozzarella neatly on a skewer.

While photos can make some parents insecure, online comments at times can become openly hostile, showing that some are judging what other parents choose to serve their kids.

On a listserve called “DC Urban Moms and Dads,” one parent asked other parents how often they packed Lunchables for their kids’ summer camp or for school. Many of the users said they were mortified the question was asked.

“Never. Not once,” one anonymous user replied. “The school would never allow it. I’d rather send her with a Snickers bar (which I would never do, of course.)”

A few users admitted they occasionally used Lunchables for their convenience, but were vilified. One anonymous user wrote: “Ghetto and white trash laziness. Start an oven and cook a hot meal you lazy s--- parents."

Though nutritionists caution against using Lunchables on a regular basis, there is sometimes conflicting information about what constitutes a healthy diet. The scientific knowledge about nutrition is evolving, and government recommendations have changed dramatically in the past few decades. This leaves anyone vulnerable to criticism if they differ from families who’ve eliminated certain food groups, whether sugar, gluten, meat, or anything that is not organic.

“When we say, ‘healthy eating,’ what is that?” Vanderwall asks. “There isn’t a standard definition for that.”

Bettina Elias Siegel, a food policy expert and mom in Houston who blogs about nutrition and children, admits that even she sometimes feels insecure about the lunches she packs. One of her children eats fruit at home, for instance, but does not like it with lunch. “If someone opened the lunchbox they might think I don’t do a very good job, but they might not know the whole story,” she says.

Still, as a strong proponent of healthy eating, she points out many lunchbox posts can be a service to parents who are looking for information, particularly when lunch ideas are achievable.

Shannon Carino, who recently moved to Washington state with her family, hopes her blog, “What’s for Lunch at Our House,” does just that. “As cute as some stuff is, the stuff people really like is the stuff they can make at home,” she says. “Most of these are to amuse my kids or to amuse myself.”

But even she faces criticism. She once posted a blog entry that used a pudding cup, and received emails asking her why she would use the product. “Because we do eat these things sometimes,” she replied.

She resents when people online comment that she must have too much time on her hands to come up with unique lunch ideas. “Do you go up to moms who run marathons and say no one has time for that?” she asks. “That’s their thing, it’s not mine … You make time for things you like doing.”

For parents who make these lunches and for those who don’t, the topic of what they are feeding their kids is deeply personal, rife with insecurity, anxiety, judgment and criticism.

To be sure, the lunchbox trend generally applies to parents who have the means and education to undertake such a task. Schools do provide lunch for students, with more than 17 million receiving it for free or at a reduced rate because of their family’s income.

But in middle- and high-income neighborhoods, some parents see the lunches they pack for their children not only as communicating their understanding of nutrition and how much they can juggle, but what kind of parents they are.

“It’s inspirational but at the same time you think, ‘That would take so much time to do,’” Siegel says. “It can make you feel like a complete failure.”

When it comes to food at school, the only topic rife with more dread than the lunchbox is birthday parties and special events – whether parents are upset that their children are served sugar at school, or whether they worry they cannot possibly compete with a homemade cake in the shape of the cartoon character Elsa from Disney’s movie “Frozen.”

School districts in Edmonds, Washington; Kalamazoo, Michigan; Boulder, Colorado; Louisville, Kentucky; and Minneapolis have gone so far as to ban the practice of allowing parents to bring in treats to school for their kids’ birthdays. Some schools only allow small gifts like pencils or party-store favors.

Siegel says she supports the bans. “I would rather level the whole playing field and get rid of the tradition,” she says, adding that it’s difficult for parents even in schools that ban snacks but allow gifts. “Some kids in the class have parents who can’t afford that.”

In other schools, bringing in a snack is a weekly occurrence. “Snack time has become such a competition to the point that I don’t volunteer to bring them,” says Amy Neuman, an engineer and mom who lives in Fort Myers, Florida. “The amount of time spent to bring in a snack to 3-year-olds … I’m just not going to do that.” For Valentine’s Day, she says, her daughter brings back a huge bag of homemade treats. “It’s way over the top,” she says.