I didn’t realize I was a sexist for liking Bernie.

Thanks, Cosmopolitan Magazine! You’re the experts.

By Justine Barron

Cosmo should know.

I always thought I wasn’t fond of Hillary Clinton as a politician, going back to the 90s. Once again, it took Cosmopolitan Magazine to help me understand sexism and deconstruct my political beliefs. It’s just like that time they taught me that wearing a hijab would turn on my man!

Before I read this article, I had all of these reasons for not preferring Hillary Clinton. It turns out my reasons, like how she’s “dishonest,” come from “gendered origins.” Huh. I thought they came from ethical or political origins. I guess it’s less complicated when the male politicians are dishonest.

This is unexpected, because I’m not only a woman, but I always thought of myself as a feminist. I support equal pay for women, abortion rights, listening to female victims, and the integration of women over 40 at parties, even if they haven’t had work done. I have written about feminist issues. I not only support Cosmo’s “no make-up Fridays,” I support “no make-up decades.”

I must admit, I wasn’t sure that Cosmo was an expert on sexism. I mean, besides their very progressive articles on “Hair Anxiety,” “The Scientific Benefits of Giving Blow Jobs,” and “Gwyneth’s Tanning Problem,” some of their stuff hasn’t seemed that feminist. Boy, was I wrong!

Thanks to Cosmo, I now understand what’s really going on underneath my negative opinions about Hillary. I might criticize her for changing her opinions to fit popular mood, for pandering to the public, for entrenched corporate relationships, for a record of war-mongering… But what’s really going on is that I can’t see past her “shrill” and “nagging” voice, as the article mentions.

I didn’t even think I thought she was shrill and nagging. It’s not something I would ever say or think about another woman…

When I was younger and first learned about our political system, I had a dream of a president who would speak truth to power. I hoped for someone who was honest about corporate control over politics; consistent in her or his support of the poor, minorities, women, and gays; and in favor of universal health care and ending the drug war. I dreamed of someone spoke honestly, without reliance on typical political or religious rhetoric.

Bernie Sanders came along and fulfilled that fantasy, more than I thought would be possible in my lifetime.

How could I not realize that I was blinded by his super-patriarchal masculinity? Look at how he constantly refers to “redistributing wealth.” That’s so… hyper-masculine. Look at how he dared call poor little Planned Parenthood “establishment,” with its $1.3 billion budget and dominance over the community-based women’s health market.

And look at Bernie’s wife! He has always has her working alongside him, in those flowy caftans, advising him on policy.

How could I not see through the Sanders mystique of progressive, fair, honest politics to the insidious woman-hating behind his whole campaign? It’s like I’ve woken up from a deep, scary nightmare of sexist brainwashing.

I should never have backed a candidate when even a small number of his supporters are blatant, awful sexist trolls. I didn’t personally recognize any of them at the dozens of Bernie events and rallies I attended. All those guys seemed so innocent and earnest. Boy, was I wrong!

I’m so jealous of the Hillary defenders who never had to feel queasy about any of her supporters. I mean, none of those extremely wealthy criminals were found guilty.

It’s kind of a crazy coincidence that a bunch of articles about sexism against the idea of a woman president came out at the same time as various exposés of the tiny contingent of Bernie supporters (“Bros”) who do harass women online. It’s like a massive media alignment of Bernie Sanders with sexism.

The Cosmo article concludes that we should forgive Hillary if she seems overly scripted, guarded, or unwilling to take risks. It’s because she has to play a tougher game than the men. So, women can’t really risk being as outspoken or direct as men. We have to be more careful.

Yeah, thanks Cosmo. I must be the sexist one.