Authorities have cautioned the public to remain calm after it was revealed that local reserves of beard oil have become dangerously low, in advance of the Americana/roots music Moon River Festival this weekend in Coolidge Park.

“Be warned, we may have to start rationing or placing anti-price-gouging controls on our remaining supplies of beard oil,” said local distributor Sam Lumberplaid, while stroking his beard like it was the flaxen tail of a magnificent steed.

“Believe me, you don’t want to see thousands of Avett Brothers fans with severe cases of beard itch,” said Lumberplaid.