First, let me say that I do NOT write this in any way to imply a Catholic couple is somehow “lacking” if they have just the ceremony and not the full Mass. That option is open to them, simply to have the marriage part – some readings from Scripture, followed by the exchange of vows and rings – and forego the Mass, where after being married, the ceremony continues to include Communion. There are good and valid reasons to have the shorter ceremony.

Let me give you some background. For Catholics, marriage – or, as we say around the holy water font, Holy Matrimony – is one of our Sacraments. Yes, Sacraments with a capital “S.” These are not simply “ceremonies,” but physical manifestations of God’s Grace. So, if you’re invited to, say, a child’s Baptism, that is not simply a christening or a naming ceremony, but the child’s formal entry into the Catholic Church, the expunging of original sin, and the beginning of their life as a member of the Body of Christ.

Holy Matrimony has a special origin. Christ performed His first public miracle at a wedding reception, in Cana. Despite not getting a “+12” on His invitation, He nevertheless showed up with His Apostles and thus the wine was depleted. His Mother, the Virgin Mary, called her son out on this (good Mom!). He instructed the wine steward to fill jars with water and He changed the water into wine, to be served to the guests.

And did you know, the priest does not “marry” the couple? No, Father is there to witness their union – the couple actually act as ministers to each other, and bestow the Sacrament upon each other. So, for a Catholic, it is more than “I do” and “I do.” He makes her his wife, she makes him her husband.

And all in the setting of a church. Catholics cannot get married on the beach, or in a park. It must occur within a church (yes, of course there are exceptions in exigent circumstances, but the fact that it is a destination wedding to Barbados is not one). Which is good because most Catholic churches reflect my faith’s appreciation for the “smells and bells” – that is, they are gorgeous.