So I have always talked out loud to myself when I’m alone since I can remember. My mom said she used to catch me doing it in my room all the time when I was little, and sometimes even in the bathroom or a changing room in public, and I remember a few times when she would ask me who I was talking to, or someone else would comment about it to her, and I would just answer “myself”. When I was little I had a pretty huge imagination, and believed all my toys and furniture were alive, so I would talk to them to explain what I was doing or how I was feeling. I never had imaginary friends, but would always make up stories and act them out. As I got older, I learned that most people don’t consider talking to yourself out loud to be normal, and of course I no longer believe inanimate objects are alive, but I just couldn’t stop doing it.

I have never heard voices answering back or had hallucinations or anything like that. I just constantly feel the need to express myself or explain my motives and actions to myself, and so I literally have conversations with myself ALL the time when I’m alone! I never do it in public anymore except when it slips out, and no one knows I do it. But I’m constantly afraid someone will walk in on me doing it or hear me and think I’m crazy. And I’m not sure if this is normal or really a problem? I can’t stop doing it, and I don’t have a lot of close friends to talk to. I was also bullied a lot throughout grade and high school, and have struggled with depression and low self-esteem. I do journal and try to do other things to relieve my emotions, but I always fall back on talking out loud as if other people are in the room, and answering myself.

Is this totally abnormal and am I crazy? How can I stop if it is, when I’ve been doing it for as long as I can remember?