Not many people know this, but barbecue is Haitian food. That is to say, the word barbecue comes to us from barabicu, a word in the Caribbean Taíno language, by way of the Spanish barbacoa. Haitians define a barabicu as a framework of sticks within or above which meat is smoked. In ordinary usage, to barbecue is mostly synonymous with grilling, but barbecue more properly refers to methods of smoking meat "low and slow." The meat can either be heated in a smoker separate from the fire, or it can be placed above (but not in direct contact with) a smoky fire. By the mid-1700s, Samuel Butler's dictionary defined the noun barbecue as "a hog dressed whole." It's acceptable to spell it as barbeque, bar-b-q, or efficient old BBQ. The latter is the spelling preferred by the South Sound BBQ Festival, a summer event held each year in Lacey.

As it happens, I know quite a bit more about barbecue than may be found in The Joy of Cooking, because I've eaten my weight in barbecue each year since 2008. That's the year my sister Monica and her husband opened their own barbecue joint in Shelton. I'm now chemically indistinguishable from beef. I'll spare you the plug for Smoking Mo's and simply assure you, Gentle Reader, I know a smoke ring from a burnt end. A smoke ring, for example, is formed when nitrogen dioxide from the smoke meets water in the muscle tissue. This reaction causes a buildup of discoloring nitric acid a quarter-inch thick under the bark, or surface crust, of the meat. A burnt end is a mouthwatering cut of brisket from its flat (aka point) half. Such pieces are high in collagen and fat, so cooks tend to smoke them longer than the rest of the cut. This lends flavorful char while making the interior as succulent as possible. Why, yes, my mouth is flooding right now. Who's hungry for lunch?

Because they run a full-time restaurant an hour away, my relatives (in this context, perhaps "kinfolk" is more appropriate) don't participate in the Lacey event. My wife's brother Buddy, however, does, so I've had occasion to sample past winners. I'm a rib man myself, so I race for those beauties first before I stuff myself too full to enjoy them. I came of age in Oklahoma, so Texas-style barbecue, which focuses on cow, is my favorite. My brother-in-law Tom is a born South Carolinian, so he favors pulled pork in a vinegary mustard-based sauce peculiar to that region. The South Sound BBQ Festival has both beef and pork among its categories, but it also invites contestants to submit chicken, seafood or a tantalizing catch-all called "Other."

So how do you like your sauce? My wife is from Wichita, so she loves the hickory-smoked tang of Kansas City-style. Kansas barbecue adds smoked sausage and turkey to its "other" meats. The farther into the deep South one goes, the porkier the barbecue gets, but Memphis barbecue is especially acidic. Kentucky likes mutton. Chicago favors a dry rub applied before smoking. See what I mean? This barbecue stuff is kinda my jam.

The 2015 contest gets underway with a welcome from sponsors 94.5 ROXY, followed by a full hour of Zumba. That's okay; jump in there. You're gonna need the exercise to ward off arteriosclerosis. Duck the 11:55 a.m. chicken dance, however, because dignity - above all, dignity. At noon the stuff gets real. The best thing about hot, sweaty competitors smoking what my friends in the central states call a "mess" of barbecue is eventually, somebody has to eat all that animal flesh. This year, that somebody will be you, so I hope you skipped breakfast. Noon brings a wing-eating contest, followed by enough meat to pacify a tiger cage, prepared by seasoned vets and amateur "backyard Joes" alike. If that's not enough to fill you up, the Lucky Eagle Casino's been known to smoke tender salmon filets over burning logs. My Oklahoma friends would hoist their cowboy hats and scratch their heads, but different strokes for different folks, am I right? Now, where did I put that bottle of Tums?

SOUTH SOUND BBQ FESTIVAL, 11-6 Saturday, July 11, Huntamer Park, 618 Woodland Square Loop SE, Lacey, free to attend, 360.491.4141