A documentary on "Extreme Beauty Queens" aired on British TV last night and oh boy did it live up to its name. Offering insight into the Miss Venezuela pageant, the filmmakers followed would-be winners and the lengths they're prepared to go to for that sparkly tiara and the titular sash. In particular, Mayer (short for Wilmayerlin), a contestant who hopes success will offer her family a route out of the Caracas slums. Having previously failed in the pageant's preliminary rounds, Mayer's family saved up $10,000 to pay for breast augmentation and a nose job — and Mayer also had a plastic mesh sewn onto her tongue (pictured above), making it painful for her to eat solid foods and thus accelerate weight loss in preparation for the 2013 finals. Everybody make a shocked, uncomfortable face now.

Because yeah, that's crazy. Also, the "helpful" feedback that led Mayer and many other pageant hopefuls to undergo surgery (and crash-dieting and most likely other awful stuff too) came from Miss Venezuela president and all-around Venezuelan icon/waxwork Osmel Sousa. Who looks like this:

Sousa told the documentary's host, a British model, that she needs to fix her teeth, remove moles and facial blemishes, and dye her hair blonde. She was also told that, at 120 lbs, her weight was a problem. In scenes from a reality show featuring the contestants, one girl faints — apparently from the "extreme diet" she was on. Osmel comes to check on her, and offers words of bitchy pageant coach wisdom: "If you faint like a beauty queen, get up like one." (To be fair, he does take some of his own advice, and is filmed for the same reality show getting surgery himself — on his smile.)

Mayer makes the top 5 in the big pageant finale, despite stumbling in that pesky Q&A round. By the way, this is Mayer:

And those all important measurements represent "mathematical perfection." To her family's delight, she's eventually crowned the first runner-up title — which is, apparently, more than enough to secure modeling gigs and opportunities that will change her family's life. Still though, does that make a tongue mesh sensible?

p.s. Here's one more GIF from the pageant, because yes please sexy blackbird feathery goodness:

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Alex Rees Deputy Editor of News I’m the news director here at Cosmopolitan.com, and I could really use a cup of tea right now.

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