A good jack-off falls somewhere between agony and prayer. In the shower, I make the same face Mary makes in Bernini sculptures. Panting, my face against the door, I nearly whisper, “Thank you, lord.”

Some people consider masturbation a second-tier sexual experience. We’ve all heard the “sad jack-off story.” After a night of fruitless cruising, your buddy settled for his hand.

There is a problem in the way we talk about self-pleasure. Self-care is often seen as shameful, embarrassing, or unimportant in our social-obsessed culture. But self-pleasure is something nearly everyone does, something everyone should do, and something we could all do better. Masturbation matters because your body matters. Because pleasure is healthy.

Let me lend a hand. Browse these 15 ways to get the most out of your solo time.