Long couple of days for me, but I need to get something out of my head. So – warning – rage blogging to follow . . . .

On Sunday morning of nationals last week I saw a series of tweets from Jesse Shofner that began here:

As we warmed up for semis today @USAUltimate told us we couldn't wear our mustaches. I was livid. pic.twitter.com/t8pMCa3ffF — Jesse Shofner (@JesseShofner) October 21, 2017

If you don’t know the story probably better to check out the twitter thread before reading any more. This tweet from the thread has especially stuck with me:

I just can’t even begin to process that idea – and believe me, I’ve been trying all week.

I cannot fucking believe that I have to write this post, but for all the future broadcasters, national governing body-types, tournament organizers, spectators, announcers, and anyone else who – try as they might – can’t find a single good story line with Molly Brown, here are some places to look. It is such a shame that Molly Brown kept all of these secrets . . . .

(1) Sally Lambert

One of the great deep cutting and defensive threats of the last 10 years. Also won worlds with the 2016 USA Masters team.

And, oh yeah, she got an MBA from MIT in her spare time between tournaments.

But . . . her mustache.

(2) Claire McKeever

One of the best defensive players in ultimate and a fantastic success story as a Molly Brown rookie this year. I was so impressed watching her guard World Games player after World Games player after World Games player during the season. She never backed down once:

My biggest wow of the US Open was Molly Brow’s Claire McKeever

Here’s a clip from that post of her guarding Opi Payne and also poaching in the lane when Alex Snyder has the disc.

If you want a story for a Molly Brown game, ask Anna Nazarov, or Opi Payne, or Carolyn Finney about McKeever as a defender.

But . . . her mustache

(3) Megan Cousins

The way games are filmed from the middle of the field with the camera following the disc doesn’t highlight Megan Cousins’s game very well, unfortunately. All you end up seeing is her catching the disc – seemingly unguarded – again and again and again. No one – and I mean no one – understands downfield spacing better than Cousins. It is pure joy watching her play.

She’s can also fly:

But . . . her mustache

(4) Lisa Pitcaithley

One of the most exciting play makers in the sport:

You can’t find a story line about her? Really??? . . . . Wait, what did I write about her this year . . . oh yeah:

Lisa Pitcaithley is a total badass

But . . . her mustache

(5) Paige Applegate

I’ve really enjoyed watching Applegate play over the last several years. This year I think she found a terrific balance between moving the disc and taking some aggressive shots. I love her attacking style of play:

Paige Applegate’s game is for real

But . . . her mustache.

(6) Carolyn Matthews

She’s coached Team USA in the past and returned to coach and play for Molly Brown this year. She also won a gold medal with the Team USA masters team last year and pulled out this block on the final point:

I also gave her the 2016 “True Veteran” award last year – it was a really great to meet her in Sarasota this year:

Announcing the 2016 True Veteran and the Michelle Ng Inspiration awards

But . . . her mustache.

(7) Kirstin Johnson

I first saw Johnson play with Molly Brown two years ago. I was so excited about Johnson’s play that I wrote to Opi to find out who she was!

Molly Brown vs Capitals part 5: Rebecca Miller and Kirstin Johnson

Since then she’s gone on to become an elite club handler . . . and she’s just out of college!

But . . . her mustache.

(8) Liza Minor

I was discussing Minor’s amazing play in the film study group earlier in the year and finally got to see her play in person at nationals. She an incredible downfield cutter and seeing her run free down the field was phenomenal.

Robyn Wiseman weighed in with this comment about Minor’s play in our film study group:

But . . . her mustache.

(9) Hannah Leathers

After the 2015 All-Star tour I was watching an Ozone game and hoping to write a blog post about Leathers’s outstanding defense. The problem I had was that it was a hard to find good examples from the film because the various players she was guarding didn’t touch the disc the entire game!

Instead of a blog post, take a listen to what Miranda Roth Knowles and Qxhna Titcomb think of her:

But . . . her mustache.

(10) Claire Chastain

Team USA gold at Worlds in 2016. Gold at U23 worlds in 2012 completely controlling the game. Plus a Callahan award, plus coaching the University of Colorado team and also a coach at CUT Camp.

Also probably the most fundamentally sound player in the game.

And Athleticism. For. Days:

But . . . her mustache.

(11) Jesse Shofner

College national champion, endless promoter of ultimate, an absolute game changer on the field, and a heart that doesn’t quit:

But . . . her mustache.

(12) Manuela Cardenas

Instead of trying to understand how someone who is part of the ultimate community could walk over to a field where Manuela Cardenas is playing and wonder, even for a second, what the story might be, I’ll just suggest going to support the Cardenas sisters in their quest to get to Perth next year:

Please support the Cardenas sisters

Because if you watch this could even theoretically be distracted by a mustache I will never understand . . . .

So, that’s almost enough of rage blogging. I’ve only written about half of the team, but there are as many amazing stories from the players I’ve not written about as there are from the ones that I have. Also. their coach rescued a toad at regionals.

The last thing I’d say, though, is that I have no connection to Molly Brown. Never coached them, never lived in Denver, never played for them. I know the players from being around ultimate and know how hard they work for themselves and for the game. I hate that someone with power in ultimate can dictate to anyone what an ultimate player should look like, and I hate it 10x more for happening before the start of the semis of club nationals. The players on Molly Brown are incredible role models in ultimate and anyone watching them play or learning their stories will be drawn to the sport at light speed.

They are what makes ultimate great.

They are the story.