According to a report in The Washington Post, Gen. David Petraeus and other American military commanders were given access to $5 billion in discretionary funds to spend on various projects like a now-defunct $1 million water park in Baghdad. Here are some of the places the money went to:

$10 million— Free "I Love the Surge" bumper sticker and T-shirt program

Free "I Love the Surge" bumper sticker and T-shirt program $13 million— Retrofitting Saddam's sex palace to create municipal sex library

Retrofitting Saddam's sex palace to create municipal sex library $125,000— Amphibious, duck-shaped Tigris River tour boat

Amphibious, duck-shaped Tigris River tour boat $300,000— Funyuns Military Blend

Funyuns Military Blend $9,000— The Offspring's booking fee

The Offspring's booking fee $100 million— Given to this guy who promised he would build a chain of really awesome after-school clubs and skate parks but who, in retrospect, was probably Muqtada al-Sadr

Given to this guy who promised he would build a chain of really awesome after-school clubs and skate parks but who, in retrospect, was probably Muqtada al-Sadr $7.1 million— Really nice big statue of Muhammad to cheer everyone in Baghdad up

Really nice big statue of Muhammad to cheer everyone in Baghdad up $6 million— Ultimately abandoned Frank Gehry blueprints for Iraq's entire infrastructure

Ultimately abandoned Frank Gehry blueprints for Iraq's entire infrastructure $4 million— Dance hall; men only

Dance hall; men only $60 million—Blowing up bridge E.U. forces need to leave