Washington D.C.—

Republicans in Congress are proposing a bold new gun law in response to the almost weekly mass shootings American gun legislation is allowing to reoccur. With a nod to churches, which recently have become likely targets for mass shootings, Republicans seek to have more guns strapped to good people’s backs in order to fight off mass shooters.

A plan sponsored by Representative Timothy Inger of Oklahoma would allocate funds in the budget for supplying a free AR-15 semi-automatic rifle to every pastor, minister, priest, and choir singer in America.

The intended effect of the legislation is to ensure that every religious building and organization in America is protected with military-style defense capabilities.

“Imagine this,” suggested Rep. Inger in a phone conversation with The Halfway Post. “You go to church with the comfort and security of knowing that every member of the choir or opening band up front facing the church congregation in musical performance is fully armed and aware of what is going on in the back of the church and in all exits and entrances to the worship area. You’d never have a shooting again at a church. Isn’t that great? The moment an active shooter presents himself, every member of the choir pulls out their trusty AR-15 and just explodes that villain’s body with a shower of bullets from behind the pulpit as if God Himself is watching over the congregation with omnipotent fire power. Isn’t that the America you want to live in?”

This story is developing.

(Picture courtesy of Brian Bennett.)

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