ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Coalition leadership team has found a solution to the impending tsunami of mortgage stresses and foreclosures on the horizon by explaining that those people need to either get a better job or one that pays way more.

Federal Treasurer Josh Frydenberg and Prime Minister Scott Morrison fronted the media today after concerns were raised by voters around the country that the government wasn’t doing enough to prepare for an inevitable interest rate hike next year.

“The solution to mortgage stress is a simple one – for us especially,” said Frydenberg of the government’s predicament.

“Get another job. If you already have two jobs, like nearly two million Australians already do at the moment, then perhaps it’s time to get a third? We aren’t in the business of giving people money for nothing. Giant multinational banks and corporations that are so intertwined in all our lives now that their failure would have run on effects that last for generations? Yeah, we’ll bail them out if worse comes to worse,”

“Also, if you can’t get another job because you have other commitments like a family or something selfish like that, then just replace the job you already have with one that pays more money. Simple. That and the interest rates will go up after the next election so it’ll be Labor’s fault.”

However, many voters feel like that’s not a real solution to the problem.

The Advocate spoke to a few members of our town’s growing aspirational class about Mr Frydenberg’s comments today – all weren’t too amused.

Oscar Stanley, a puffer vest-owning small businessman and rugby union club man who thinks John Howard was God’s gift to Australia, told our reporters that he feels the banks should have to take some of the responsibility in this scenario.

“They were the ones who lent me $840k to buy a gyprocked, off-the-plan apartment in the height of a property boom with almost no deposit and no real tangible way to pay the mortgage if it went up two percent in a year,” said the 28-year-old.

“Now I feel like an idiot. The flat is barely worth $500k now and it’s only going south. But isn’t rent money dead money? I thought I was buying into the Australian dream? To own a Meriton apartment on the edge of a town’s second-largest business district?”

“Mate, I can’t get another job. I’ll have no time to sleep. And I’m still paying off my HECS. I asked my boss for a raise and he just laughed at me. What do I do? Can somebody tell me? I’m actually fucking terrified of what my future holds now. Can someone tell me that I’ll be OK?”

More to come.