Wait, hold on... $125 ?!? You sir or miss are internet rich. There is surely a special place for you at the alter of Olive Garden and other mid-level dining establishments (not an endorsement for Olive Garden, and can not confirm if they have alters).

As Samuel L. Jackson famously put it: Hold onto your butts

Everything from Levels 1-3, Level 5 PLUS

Dog will take a crap in your honor.* I know. It's hard to comprehend such a gracious and intimate gesture taking place, but by golly, you have earned it! A photograph of the crap will be taken and the dog will personally place his paw print on the photo.

Your children will be underwhelmed, your neighbors may resent you, and you may have a hard time explaining why you put it up in the office to your boss... But you will be just under George Lucas and above Jack LaLanne in the dog's eyes, I can only assume, and can now enjoy this extremely rare collectable item!

*Due to dog's crapping capabilities, not each photo will be of a unique crap. HOWEVER, it is guaranteed that the dog did create said crap in photo.**

**If this honestly bothers you, please explain on the dog's twitter feed as it will be the funniest thing since the last funniest thing.

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