Welcome to Dissected, where we disassemble a band’s catalog, a director’s filmography, or some other critical pop-culture collection in the abstract. It’s exact science by way of a few beers. This time, we get a little political.

Earlier this month, Bruce Springsteen rallied behind President Barack Obama with two-and-a-half verses rhyming pajamas with Osama bin Laden and referencing a shitty sexual encounter he had in Ohio. But if you think this was the worst political jam ever written, think again. Campaign theme songs date back to the inception of the American political process and ever since then, they’ve gotten more and more painful.



In light of tomorrow’s election, we’ve dissected some of the more cringe-worthy musical moments in politics; from Calvin Coolidge’s play on the word “cool” to the overly sexual Obama girl, from Nixon’s attempt at brainwash to Mike Bangs’ barbershop anthem entitled “We’re All Romneyites Now!”

You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll thank jebus that YouTube exists. And when you’re done, please remember to vote Tuesday so that democracy can continue and this list can grow even longer.