How You Express Yourself Should Not Be Tied to Your Identity

It shouldn’t matter if you’re cisgender or transgender — no one should be shamed for breaking gender stereotypes

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Gender continues to be a hotly debated topic, even within the transgender community. What many people don’t seem to understand is that gender identity and gender expression are not the same thing. Just as a person’s gender identity may not match their biological sex, a person’s gender expression may not always align with their gender identity.

Gender identity

I know this is something that many cisgender people struggle to understand, because their innate sense of gender aligns with their biological sex. It’s not even something they need to think about or question. It just is.

For those of us who fall into the transgender spectrum, it’s painfully obvious that our identity doesn’t match our biology. Whether we fall on the binary or within the non-binary, something about our gender identity doesn’t fit with our biological bodies.

It makes us question our own sanity at times until we understand that we were born transgender. Even then, we may still question our sanity, but at least we know why we feel so disconnected to our own bodies.

Gender expression

You might think that gender expression goes hand-in-hand with gender identity, but that’s not always the case. Most cisgender people will express themselves in the way they dress or style their hair, based on the expected societal norms for their gender. However, some may express themselves in a gender-nonconforming fashion. Some cisgender men may grow their hair long, wear nail polish or makeup, or even dress in drag, while some cisgender women will cut their hair in a short butch style and wear more masculine or unisex style clothing.

The same is also true among transgender people, especially those of us who identify as binary trans men and women. Some of us may not always express ourselves based on our gender identity. Yes, our identity doesn’t match our biology, but that doesn’t mean our gender expression must always conform to gender stereotypes either.

It’s perfectly fine for men to wear nail polish or grow their hair long, just as it’s perfectly fine for women to cut their hair and not wear make-up. Being gender nonconforming doesn’t make them any less men or women. It also doesn’t make trans men and women any less trans.

It’s okay to break stereotypes

It shouldn’t matter if you’re cisgender or transgender — no one should be shamed for breaking gender stereotypes. Let’s all express ourselves how we want, regardless of biology or identity. One day you may feel like wearing a suit-and-tie, while the next you may prefer something frilly. You may even decide to paint your nails while wearing that suit.

There is no one right or wrong way to express who you are as an individual. We need to stop shaming people for how they express themselves, and just embrace them for who they are.