It's hot here (for New England), it's broke 90F. The A/C at work broke. And I got cut off by a dude on his phone (Motorcycles are hard enough to see, get off your damn phone and pay attention before you kill someone, A**hole.) All in all a horrible day.

Then....

I got home!

Sitting pretty on my kitchen table, (thank the wife for going to to the USPS Office for me because I couldn't have gotten this home on the bike,) was a HUGE and very HEAVY box.

"My lord," I said to myself. "Thats a lot of packing material, Im sure."

click Out comes the pocket knife, and I start attacking the inch thick, very colorful 'duct-tape'.

"WAIT!" My wife yells. "You need to take pictures."

"Ok, babe you can be my photographer, go get my camera."

With my Canon clicking and wiring in my ear, I proceed to unleash the torrent of smaller packages that completely fill the larger box.

As I start to unbox the individually wrapped presents, my little girl releases a gasp of excitement and yells at the top of her lungs, "It's so pretty, dad'n! Are they mine's?"

Lining up the small bundles for a picture, I respond: "Well, as a matter of fact, yes! There are some here for you but, you need to hold on while mama takes some pictures."

When the pre-unwrapping photo-op is finished, we buckle the wee child into her seat at the table and proceed to make quick work of the tissue paper.

With every new item uncovered, I was awash with overpowering awe. Not only did Santa know my name (easy enough I guess), byt my child's and wife's name as well. And, had included presents for The kid, wife, cats, and even my unborn twins.

It was like they had flown to my house and placed little camera all over the place and spied on us. (I was so amazed I actually glanced around to make sure there wasn't any camera.)

Here's what came out of the mess of tape, bubble wrap, and tissue paper:

Kid - DVD Tinker Bell - Great Fairy Rescue Kid - DVD Disney Princess Collection Kid - Tinkerbell's Make-a-link Twins - 2x Butt Paste Cats - Catnip Ball Cats - Catnip/blend pouch Wife - Hand and Body lotion w/ Hemp Seed and Cucumber Melon Me - Ernie Ball Slinky (guitar strings) Me - Ernie Ball Cobalt Slinky (guitar strings) Me - Dava Control Grip guitar picks Me - Chivas Regal 12year Blended Scotch Me - Crown Royal Maple Whiskey Me - Fireball Cinnamon Whiskey Me - Rye on Rye Ale Me - Capt America socks complete with wings. Me - Sir Walter Raligh Pipe tobacco Me - Borkum Riff Pipe tobacco Me - Capt Black Gold Pipe tobacco Me - Pipe cleaners (the good kind) Me - Beard conditioner (SO AWESOME! I think this was my favorite)

Thankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyouthankyou! Wow! Thanks! I mean for the love of all things unholy, this was one of the best exchanges I've ever had! Thanks so very much!!!

Also, why doesn't the gift rating scale stopy at 10, this is at least a 12.