You can’t even say racist things without being called a racist, laments Morrissey

Singer, vegan, and twat Morrissey has used an interview with a deluded sycophant to complain that whenever he says anything racist, he is branded a racist.

The interview, available on his website, also featured the standard sub-UKIP anti-immigration nonsense that is usually heard from the sort of horrible regular who ruins village pubs all over the country after he’s drunk five pints of Stella and wet himself a bit.

“This modern fashion for tolerance and decency is terribly unpalatable,” said the eighties has-been.

“It seems to me that, nowadays, all you need to do is harbour and articulate racist views to be called a racist.

“It’s like the criticism I took for my recent song – ‘Israel is bloody brilliant, and Muslims are all big shitters’ – just because it was racist, people have decided that makes it OK to call me a racist.

“I mean, I’m used to it now, of course. People have been calling me a racist since the nineties for no other reason than my work, behaviour and public statements contain an awful lot racist sentiment.

Morrissey concluded, “Look, if saying racist things makes me guilty of racism, then lock me up and throw away the key!”,

He then went on to make monkey noises, and nostalgically reminisce about the time you could smash up a corner shop just because it was owned by a bunch of Pakistanis.

Morrissey’s new record – ‘They all live up trees and we should send them back to where they came from’ – now seems inevitable.