This is a note for the guy who patted the top of my head and advised I should not visit a bar, or for the other guy who just ignored me in the dance club because dancing on a wheelchair couldn't possibly be a way of dancing. This also goes to the Tinder match who thoughtlessly texted me, "Hey, champion. What is a disabled kid doing on this app? Do you even have sex?" Well, Mr. Know It All, I shouldn't need to reply to those assumptions, yet I sadly still have to.

There are so many wrong elements implicitly and explicitly expressed on those situations. Why do you believe I am a kid? Or that I am not able to have a sexual life? Who allowed you to touch my head and warn me without my consent? Who told you my moves were not fabulous and sexy? However, I understand you; it is not completely your fault. The media, society, and even people with disabilities ourselves have led you to believe all that nonsense.

Unfortunately, minorities are not exempt from discriminating.

Back in 2011, at age 15, I came out as part of the LGBT+ community. I felt so relieved; I would finally be part of an understanding and welcoming group. I was partially mistaken. Don't get me wrong. When it comes to family and friends, it has been awesome, yet when trying to look for my significant other, I've had my share of laughter. I thought boys would see me clearly, with no judgement, no stereotypes attached, and no discrimination. I was part of two huge minorities, what could possibly go wrong? Then, after going through some close minded, disrespectful people full of pity, I realized something: Unfortunately, minorities are not exempt from discriminating.

I don't get mad when you pat me on the head or when you call me a kid because you think I am not "smart enough"; that would only be me accepting the horrible way you would address people with cognitive disabilities, and therefore, me discriminating people from the same minority I belong to. That's just plain wrong. No matter the disability, you should always treat someone for who they are: people. I got mad because you infantilized me. You thought I was somehow, due to your perception, inferior.

People with disabilities CAN have sex

I should NEVER have to clarify my sexual life for you to add me as dating material. First, a disability doesn't determine someone's sexual capacities. Furthermore, why should that be your hello? Even if I couldn't be able to have sex, your perception of sex is too narrow. Open your mind and learn that people with disabilities CAN have sex in more ways than just a physical interaction. Please don't assume my sexual abilities based on a disability, or on what your favorite TV show has told you. You can totally ask me, as long as you know me well enough. In fact, ASK me ANYTHING you want. I will be glad to answer all your questions. I have come to understand that most discrimination can be erased by answering all the unreasoned questions people have.

"you gotta learn to love yourself first..."

"Alex, you gotta learn to love yourself first in order for others to love you," a friend had told me. I would simply nod and take the piece of advice into account, but why? I love myself already, and I couldn't understand that for a long time because you told me that the fact I didn't have a boyfriend was my fault. Don't try to blame my self esteem for your ignorance. I love my curves, my smile, my mind, and my wheels. It is you who needs to love people regardless of their non standard body, or their physical condition.

Now that I have explained what you did incorrectly, let me give you some tips to never make those mistakes again:

* I dare you to ask me about my name, my interests, my life.

* I dare you to look at me in the bar.

* I dare you to ask me on a date.

* I dare you to pretend we're on High School Musical and ask me, "Can I have this dance?"

* I dare you to take me to dinner, or to the movies, or the museum.

* I dare you to let me text you in the morning, or to text me goodnight.

* I dare you to not pity me.

* I dare you to see beyond the chair.

* But then again, I also dare you to learn to drive it as well.

* Finally, I simply dare you to love me.

Atte: Alex

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