The Penultimates: Before Armageddon — Part III of IV

The announcement that broke the internet! Here’s my thought process as those two words hit the screen.

— Yes, Oh God Yes. Finally! This makes up for everything wrong with today’s world: ISIS, climate change, income inequality, cops out of control — all is forgiven now, as long as we’re blessed with Marvel’s amazing Phase Four finale. We’ve seen none of these characters yet, so I’m sure they’re going to slowly tease glimpses of Fireplace, Rabid Fox, Dr. Funktopus, and Saturated Man as the years drag on, the aches and pains of age become more apparent, and it slowly dawns on me that I’ve wasted my life on empty fandom, but who the hell cares because Saturated Man! SATURATED MAN for chrissakes!

— And that’s all before the reveal of the subtitle. Holy Christ on a Platter, it’s the Before Armageddon storyline! That means Sunshower, the Seeker Talisman, Project C.L.A.W.?!?! I may die of anticipation. If my loved ones find me dead on my couch, it’s not from poor lifestyle choices. Trust me, it’ll be from anticipation.

— But what’s this? Fine that it’s in four parts, that makes sense — (there’s a lot of story there). But they’re starting with part three?!?! Like Episode IV: A New Hope-style? With two prequels?!? Must… watch… now… Want… more…