Tina Fey

"Welcome to the 71st annual Tina Fey and Amy Poehler's Lee Daniels' 'The Butler' Golden Globe Awards."

Amy Poehler - on Woody Allen's Cecil B DeMille Award, previously given to Martin Scorsese

"I assume the award is tiniest man with the biggest glasses."

Amy Poehler on The Wolf of Wall Street

Photograph: Paul Drinkwater/AP

"I really love the film, but some of it was too graphic. If I wanted to watch Jonah Hill masturbate at a pool party, I would go to one of Jonah Hill's pool parties."

Tina Fey - on Matthew McConaughey

"For his role in Dallas [Buyers Club], he lost 45 pounds — or what actresses call being in a movie."

Robert Downey Jr - introducing the best actress nominees

"If it's Meryl, I could supplement my income by leasing her a shipping container to put it in with the 200,000 other awards she's received."

Tina Fey

"And now, like a supermodel's vagina, let's all give a warm welcome to Leonardo DiCaprio."

Cate Blanchett - accepting her award for Blue Jasmine

Photograph: Paul Drinkwater/AP



"Thank you for plying me with vodka the way Judy Garland was probably plied with barbiturates."

Amy Poehler

I loved 12 Years a Slave. And after watching that film, I can honestly say I will never look at slavery the same way again.

Tina Fey on American Hustle

American Hustle. Photograph: Allstar



"Interesting fact: the original title of that movie was Explosion at the Wig Factory."

Jacqueline Bisset - accepting her award for Dancing on the Edge

"The people who've given me shit, I say — like my mother — what did she say? She used to say, 'Go to hell and don't come back.' However, however, however, my mother was not entirely me."

Amy Poehler to Matt Damon

"Matt, on any other night, in any other room, you'd be a big deal, but tonight — and don't take this the wrong way — you're basically a garbage person."

Tina Fey



"Meryl Streep is so brilliant in Osage: August County, proving that there are still great parts in Hollywood for Meryl Streep over 60."

Tina Fey - on Gravity

"It's the story of how George Clooney would rather float away in space and die than spend any more time with a woman his own age."

Tina Fey

"One of my favorite movies this year is Her, which takes place in the not-so-distant future, which is perfect because so does Joaquin Phoenix."

More from the Golden Globes

• Guardian Film Show: 'What the hell?'

• Peter Bradshaw: Don't be duped by American Hustle

• Hadley Freeman: 10 things we learned

• Xan Brooks: six surprises

Golden Globes fashion: the pick of the red carpet - in pictures

10 things we learned from the Golden Globes 2014

12 Years A Slave regains footing to take home top prize