Sweetheart, we want to talk to you about something. You may have heard your teachers, or your friends' older brothers and sisters talking about something called 'Brexit'. You may have seen them look very serious, they may have used words like 'divorce' and 'recession' and 'leadership battle', words you've sometimes heard on the television when the newsman with the nice hair uses the 'you know you've done something naughty' voice.

The first thing we want to say is that we love you very much and there's nothing to be afraid of. You may hear more people shouting on TV, you may see photos of angry people when you go to play 'Dora the Explorer' on Mummy's iPad. But they're just feeling like you do when you've fallen asleep in the car, and when you wake up, you're not quite sure where you are, and how you got there.

Some of these people are also really just a little angry with themselves. It's like when your teacher gave you the chance to name your classroom hamster, and Jessica got very upset when it was named SpongeBob, even though she wouldn't go up and put her 'x' on the whiteboard. And Arthur and Melissa were also upset because they thought everyone would vote for 'Elsa' because SpongeBob actually is a girl hamster, but they didn't like Elsa as a girl's name, so they voted for SpongeBob instead. Because that makes sense to a three year old.

But now we're all going on a great big adventure. We're going to be a little like 'Dora the Explorer' as no one has gone where we're going. There's nothing for you to worry about, as the grown-ups will make all the hard decisions, and you'll only need to think about them when you're a bigger person. It's going to be so much fun, as you'll probably get to fill in lots of worksheets if you want to go and visit your friend Sophie we met when we were at Disneyland Paris last year. And if when you are a big person, you still want to help Snow White look after the dwarfs at Disneyland Paris, you could get to fill in lots and lots more worksheets. You can even fill them in with Cousin Madison in America as they'll probably be the same, so you can be visa-application buddies!

And talking of Cousin Madison, you're probably going to see her more, as she'll be able to buy lots more of the sweeties she likes over here than before. And her Mummy and Daddy will be able to buy lots more of everything they like over here. And you know how you've always dreamt of playing for Manchester United - well, now you have a really good chance, as we may only have British players playing football here for British teams.

So things may be different, but you always like doing new things, so it will be fun. And there are so many new places we've never visited here in the UK. You'd love that, wouldn't you, going on holiday but not having to get on that noisy aeroplane, or that big boat that makes your tummy feel funny. And it wouldn't be so hot, and we'll always be able to find the right milk, and your favourite breakfast cereal.

You understand now, don't you, it really will be fine. And just in case it isn't, Mummy's funny accent means she's going to get you an extra special birthday present - an Irish passport. Because then you'll be like Cousin Conor, part of the EU Passport Club, which is a really fun club to join when you're a big person, and no longer worry about finding the right milk and your favourite breakfast cereal.

So sweetheart, there's really nothing to worry about. At least for you.

photo credit: Punch-out-and-assemble Spongebob! via photopin (license)

Other posts in this series

Brexit bombshell: thoughts on waking up and finding I'm no longer EUropean

Would a Brexit divorce mean a croissant-less UK?

What if the UK/USA 'special relationship' meant Brexit led to BritUS?