Have you heard the one about the National Day of Silence? Here’s the set up:

A teen walks into her high school. A few of her friends are all, "What’s up, girl?"

And she’s all, "..."

And they’re like, "What’s your problem?"

And she hands them a card that reads, "Please understand my reasons for not speaking today. I am participating in the Day of Silence, a national youth movement bringing attention to the silence faced by LGBT people and their allies. My deliberate silence echoes that silence, which is caused by anti-LGBT bullying, name-calling and harassment. I believe that ending the silence is the first step toward building awareness and making a commitment to address these injustices."

And her friends say, "OMG! Getting bullied for being gay? Sign us up!" And they start dyking it out in the hallway. Then some boys passing by are also handed a card and, after reading it, become gay-homo forever and ever, Amen. Teachers and administrators who support the Day of Silence nod in approval. Gay at last, gay at last. Thank God almighty, the school is gay at last! All students who refuse to turn gay and claim religious objection are rounded up and sent to gay reform school.

This is apparently how James Loomer, a Christian pastor in Connecticut, envisions how the Day of Silence goes down (no pun intended) across America and why he, and many others, wants it banned. "Shut it down!" he told his local school board.

But they said no. Because they hate God, obviously.

That hasn’t stopped Loomer from railing against Day of Silence and right-wing ilk giving him a platform to do so. In a radio interview with Focus On the Family’s Tony Perkins, Loomer said, "If the board decides they don’t want to take any corrective actions we’re already making plans to call the city families together and just apprise them of the situation. And I think the parents will be so appalled at what the Day of Silence could lead their children into that they’re going to want to stand up and say, ‘let’s get rid of this.’ There are alternative programs that focus on disrupting the bullying that goes on in schools but this is one that’s got a serious kickback to it."

Just what could Day of Silence lead children into? How about an open mind? The ability to respect people who are different than them? Compassion and understanding? Oh, the horror.

Also, I think Loomer means "drawbacks," not "kickback." Unless he’s claiming that GLSEN (the Gay, Lesbian & Straight Education Network) is getting rich off of this. Then again, considering how far off his info is, I wouldn’t be surprised if he thought such a thing.

Perkins had nothing but praise for Loomer. "Look, bullying should not be taking place in our schools, every child in America should be able to go to school ... without the fear of threat or being intimidated, regardless of what the cause is, whether they’re overweight, whether their religious viewpoints, no child should be bullied because they are effeminate or because of their sexual orientation or whatever, it shouldn’t happen," Perkins said, "but we cannot allow these programs like the Day of Silence to come into our schools as a cover for the promotion of homosexuality. That’s what is happening with this so we appreciate Pastor Loomer and others who are drawing attention to this in communities across the country."

If only we could compel the loudmouth bigots to shut up for one day a year.