

Posted by

Sam Gregory ,

March 12, 2015 Email

Sam Gregory

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If you are reading this right now you probably take soccer pretty seriously. In fact if you have any interest in Canadian soccer you are almost certainly past the ‘healthy’ level of soccer fandom. Sometimes it’s hard for us to remember that in the grand scheme of things soccer is relatively meaningless. Nothing makes it clearer that sports really aren’t that important than mascots.



At some point in history it was apparently decided that every sports team should be represented by some sort of ridiculous, anthropomorphic mascot. Sometimes this mascot is related to the team nickname or logo, other times it is just a strange animal or mythological creature seemingly chosen at random.



When I was younger I used to love mascots, as I went through my not-so-rebellious teenage years I decided that mascots took away from the serious and important nature of sport. Now that I’m in my twenties I’ve realized that mascots aren’t there for me and teams don’t – and really shouldn’t - care whether or not I like them. Mascots are there for kids and kids love them. Things that kids bring kids joy are pretty much inherently good and so as I’ve matured I’ve embraced the mascot.



Recently mascots have been making headlines (well twitter headlines) in the Canadian soccer world. Firstly, the introduction of Women’s World Cup mascot Schuéme caused some heads to turn and secondly Toronto FC asking their supporters whether or not they would like a mascot led to a slight online kerfuffle. These two incidents, along with having the honour of meeting Schuéme herself, got me thinking about mascots in Canadian soccer. I was actually a little surprised by how many mascots we currently have and have had in the past. As I did a bit of research on each mascot I realized that something was sorely missing from the Canadian soccer scene. A Canadian soccer mascot power ranking. So here we go!



6. Schuéme (Women’s World Cup 2015): World Cups inspire kids to start watching and playing soccer. That’s how I started watching soccer and I’m sure many young Canadians will start playing soccer after watching a World Cup on home soil this summer, unfortunately I doubt Schuéme will be encouraging many of them. Her big eyes look more like those of a horror movie monster than those of a welcoming snowy owl. I can’t imagine many kids this summer running up to get their photo taken with Schuéme, the demon owl.



5. Sparky (Ottawa Fury): Mascots are supposed to be happy, whereas Sparky looks enraged. Come on Sparky, the Fury are doing tons of great things: they are bringing Canadians through the system, they have a great coach in Marc Dos Santos, they even have a beautiful new stadium… cheer up a bit!



4. Lynxster (Toronto Lynx): The Lynxster is the first cute and cuddly mascot on this list. There’s nothing particularly special about the Lynxster - other than having probably the best name of any mascot on the list - but he looks friendly and is sure not to scare anyone off which can’t be said about Sparky or Schuéme.



3. Tac-Tic (Montreal Impact): Tac-Tic is a friendly looking dog, who is quite popular at Impact matches. He gets bonus points in this ranking for two reasons. Firstly, Tac-Tic is the only mascot who moved with his club to MLS. When Toronto FC was formed they didn’t have a mascot and Vancouver dropped their NASL mascot upon joining MLS, Montreal however stayed loyal. Secondly, I’m a big fan of Youppi! the ex-Montreal Expos mascot and current Montreal Canadiens mascot, Tac-Tic has orange behind his ears as an homage to Youppi!, which is quite subtle as far as mascots go.



2. Spike (Vancouver Whitecaps MLS): Of all the Canadian soccer mascots Spike seems to be the best thought-out. Spike is a Belted Kingfisher and has quite the intricate design. Spike also gets extra credit for striking a very cool pose in this photo. The Whitecaps ushered in the MLS era on a good note by introducing Spike, the only problem was who he replaced…



1. Winger (Vancouver Whitecaps Pre-MLS): Winger is supposedly a bird, but Winger looks a bit like a bird that went wrong. For every part of Spike that is realistic Winger is equally unrealistic, which makes Winger the best. Canadian soccer has long been a comedy of errors and Winger embodies this spirit. From the ridiculous yellow beak, to the mop of feathers on top of his head Winger looks like what Canadian soccer would look like if it took “kind-of-looks-like-a-bird”-form. As much as I like Spike it’s hard not to miss Winger who retired when the Whitecaps made the jump to MLS. World Cups inspire kids to start watching and playing soccer. That’s how I started watching soccer and I’m sure many young Canadians will start playing soccer after watching a World Cup on home soil this summer, unfortunately I doubt Schuéme will be encouraging many of them. Her big eyes look more like those of a horror movie monster than those of a welcoming snowy owl. I can’t imagine many kids this summer running up to get their photo taken with Schuéme, the demon owl.Mascots are supposed to be happy, whereas Sparky looks enraged. Come on Sparky, the Fury are doing tons of great things: they are bringing Canadians through the system, they have a great coach in Marc Dos Santos, they even have a beautiful new stadium… cheer up a bit!The Lynxster is the first cute and cuddly mascot on this list. There’s nothing particularly special about the Lynxster - other than having probably the best name of any mascot on the list - but he looks friendly and is sure not to scare anyone off which can’t be said about Sparky or Schuéme.Tac-Tic is a friendly looking dog, who is quite popular at Impact matches. He gets bonus points in this ranking for two reasons. Firstly, Tac-Tic is the only mascot who moved with his club to MLS. When Toronto FC was formed they didn’t have a mascot and Vancouver dropped their NASL mascot upon joining MLS, Montreal however stayed loyal. Secondly, I’m a big fan of Youppi! the ex-Montreal Expos mascot and current Montreal Canadiens mascot, Tac-Tic has orange behind his ears as an homage to Youppi!, which is quite subtle as far as mascots go.Of all the Canadian soccer mascots Spike seems to be the best thought-out. Spike is a Belted Kingfisher and has quite the intricate design. Spike also gets extra credit for striking a very cool pose in this photo. The Whitecaps ushered in the MLS era on a good note by introducing Spike, the only problem was who he replaced…Winger is supposedly a bird, but Winger looks a bit like a bird that went wrong. For every part of Spike that is realistic Winger is equally unrealistic, which makes Winger the best. Canadian soccer has long been a comedy of errors and Winger embodies this spirit. From the ridiculous yellow beak, to the mop of feathers on top of his head Winger looks like what Canadian soccer would look like if it took “kind-of-looks-like-a-bird”-form. As much as I like Spike it’s hard not to miss Winger who retired when the Whitecaps made the jump to MLS.