Today’s Caitlin Johnstone article has been replaced with an op-ed by Snooty McCentrist of the National News Conglomerate. NNC: Obey.

Bernie Sanders has suspended his presidential primary run, leaving the 2020 race a simple contest between former Vice President Doe Truden and President Jonald Bimp. The time is now for Sanders supporters to lay aside the many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many many differences they have with Truden to avoid the re-election of someone with whom they have many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many many differences.

It’s time to tell it like it is, Bernie Bros: if you refuse to vote for Truden just because he’s a demented right-wing racist authoritarian warmongering corporate whore who has been credibly accused of rape and with whom you share no common ideological ground, that’s the same as voting for the other demented right-wing racist authoritarian warmongering corporate whore who has been credibly accused of rape and with whom you share no common ideological ground. Now do you really want that on your conscience?

I hear some Berners arguing that they see it as the exact opposite: that a vote for Truden is the same as a vote for Bimp, because the ideological distance between a leftist and Truden is orders of magnitude greater than the ideological difference between Truden and Bimp. But nothing could be further from the truth! For example, both Truden and Bimp have completely different names, with completely different letters in them. Don’t believe me? Look at their names for yourself. They’re not even spelled the same.

I hear others arguing that if refusing to vote for Truden is the same as voting for Bimp, then isn’t refusing to vote for Bimp the same as voting for Truden? And the answer to that is hush. You shut your filthy mouth.

If Bernie Bros decide to stay home, or vote third party, or vote down-ballot only, or assemble a political movement that stands a chance at actually changing things, or donning yellow vests and taking to the streets, or getting the word out to the public that they’re all living a lie and the mass media is actually a highly sophisticated propaganda operation designed to lull them into supporting the status quo in fake election after fake election where the game is rigged and the plutocrats own both parties, that’s the same as voting for Jonald Bimp, and why would you want that when you could have a president from a completely different party, who has a completely different name?

Time to grow up and get realistic, Bernie Bros. Now sit down and clap for our puppet show.

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