Wanted: a highly qualified leader willing to work long hours under stress in an organisation that is severely underfunded and constantly judged, for an unsympathetic employer.

As job adverts go, it’s not the most attractive. No wonder headteachers are resigning in droves: according to a recent survey by the National Association of Headteachers, more than a third (34%) are contemplating leaving before retirement. At the same time, more than a quarter of schools (27%) could not fill their leadership positions last year – that is more than double the number (12%) of schools that failed to fill these roles in 2017.

Nigel Utton 55. Was: Kent primary headteacher. Now: osteopath

When I was a head, I watched a number of friends who were also headteachers die from stress, have nervous breakdowns or be booted out of the profession thanks to stupid decisions by Ofsted. All around me, people were disappearing.

I clearly remember the moment I decided to quit. I was 50 years old, on holiday, and the government announced they were going to start testing four-year-olds. I turned to my wife and said: I am not doing that. I refuse. That was the final straw. In my opinion, putting pressure on four-year-olds is criminal.

I intended to see out the school year, but I couldn’t. A few weeks later, I was interviewed on the radio and I burst into tears, talking about why I had resigned. Afterwards, I was asked to sign a non-disclosure agreement. I left my school two weeks later and have never been back.

My mental health crashed. I was reasonably well-known locally as the chair of the Kent Headteachers’ Association and the loss of my status was hard. Very quickly, I became depressed and stopped eating. But gradually, with counselling, I started to feel better and decided to retrain as an osteopath. I had always wanted to be one when I was young, but I couldn’t afford to study osteopathy.

I went to university in Swansea, got divorced, sold my home, came out as gay, moved to Norwich and set up my own practice. It has only been going a few months but it’s been amazing. I love my work so much now that I’m planning to work for another 20 or 30 years.

I earn far less than I used to – I barely cover my bills – but I don’t miss the financial security. I find it exciting and challenging. Besides, I have savings I can rely on and my pension to look forward to.

I’ve regained my sense of status, as a business owner and a local councillor for the Green party. I don’t miss working with children because I still work with them as patients. Running your own business is similar to running a school. There are other similarities too: like at school, I am helping people and educating them about their health.

I’m so much happier than when I was a stressed-out headteacher and I’m healthier than I have ever been in my life.

‘Police look after you in times of trauma’



Emma Payne 48. Was: Bristol headteacher. Now: police dispatcher

Emma Payne in the police control room: ‘I felt professionally and publicly humiliated. I was sick of the league table game.’ Photograph: Adrian Sherratt/The Guardian

I had been a primary headteacher for eight years when my school went into special measures in 2016. I developed depression and left my post after being asked to sign a non-disclosure agreement.

I felt professionally and publicly humiliated. I cried a lot. The voice in my head was saying: you’re a complete failure. So much of my identity had been wrapped up in being a teacher but I never wanted to work in education again. I loved working with children but hated the way education had changed under the Tories. I was sick of the league table game of results and assessments.

Now I’m a police dispatcher. I earn about a third of my former salary but I have a better work-life balance. Instead of working 70-hour weeks, I work 48 hours over five days and then have five days off. I no longer do any work at home.

Emma Payne as a headteacher in Bristol. Photograph: Sam Frost

I chose the police because I really like serving the community. I work in the control centre, dispatching police to a particular area, so I have to manage limited resources and assess the different risks under pressure, deciding who will go to each job. But I’m used to that.

I enjoy life so much more. I can’t afford to shop in Hobbs as often as I used to – but I can take cheaper holidays during term time. I still feel I do an important job. The difference is I can hand it all over to someone else at the end of my shift. I no longer feel a heavy sense of responsibility when I’m not working. And the police look after you if you have to deal with something traumatic at work. A trauma team talks it through with you afterwards to make sure you are all right.

I hope one day I can work in child protection. It was a privilege working with children as a headteacher, they are so funny and wonderful to be around. I loved it when I got through to the most challenging pupils, I felt I was changing their lives for the better.

But I don’t allow myself to look back and feel regret. I don’t allow myself to miss it. I made the decision I made to survive – and I’m much happier now.

‘Now I’m very, very financially secure’



Derek Thomas 56. Was: Cardiff headteacher. Now: in business

Derek Thomas with his family: ‘Leaving teaching literally saved my life.’ Photograph: Mike Evans photography

I went into teaching at the age of 21 because I loved working with children. But my work as a headteacher became bureaucratic. There was so much testing and paperwork, I couldn’t be creative or do any of the things I wanted to do. I just had to keep thinking of new ways to generate income for the school. It wore me down.

I was working long hours. That put pressure on my marriage and I didn’t have time for my own children’s school meetings, concerts or sports days. I started sleeping badly. I wasn’t exercising; I wasn’t eating well; I wasn’t looking after myself.

I decided to quit shortly after I turned 50. I realised, following yet another round of budget cuts, that I was going to have to make a teacher redundant, maybe two. I turned to my colleague and said: that’s it. I’ve had enough.

I became quite ill when I left teaching and had six coronary stents put into my heart because of an undetected cholesterol problem. After I recovered I threw myself into business, selling membership of Utilities Warehouse [a utilities discount club] and helping others to do the same. I now have a senior role in the organisation and am very, very financially secure. I am miles better off.

I do miss the connection with children and the lovely relationships with parents. But I had to put myself and my own family first.

I now spend more time with my children, go to the gym, swim, exercise and cook. I’m eating a more plant-based diet and have lost three stone. I feel younger and fitter and I look back at colleagues who I lost to heart attacks and think: that could have been me. Leaving teaching literally saved my life.