For those of you who are just starting, I'd advise reading the first three chapters before deciding whether you like it. I had to set the stage carefully in these chapters, but after then it gets really exciting.

Bioware owns the rights to all of their characters and the original series. The original characters in this story belong to me and pestomonkey.

Thanks to pestomonkey for being an awesome beta!



Music: Gravity, Sara Bareilles; Blue Orchid, The White Stripes

The Spanish Glossary and the story playlist is linked to my profile.

Introduction

Middle school in San Diego PS #452 was not a happy time for Jimmy Sanders. His hair was perpetually shaggy and hung in his eyes, the better to hide himself in a crowd. He was teased mercilessly for being a late bloomer, slightly chubby and quiet.

Perhaps some of them would have thought differently if they had known that he dreamed of having adventures, of collecting stories like his Uncle Emilio hinted at from when he went on missions for the Alliance. His uncle said just enough to set his impressionable mind aflame with possibilities, keeping him up at night and making him slow and sleepy the next day. Despite his shyness in a crowd, when he was alone with people he trusted he tended to be enthusiastic in the extreme, always looking for an adventure, especially when it meant defying his father.

He had only one close friend, a troubled kid named Tom who had been passed from foster home to foster home all his life. Tom was taller than James, wiry and fast, with a shock of red-brown hair that stuck out in every direction. They didn't have a lot in common, but they were both outsiders and they both liked to ride bikes. That was all it really took, at their ages, to make what seemed like a real connection. That, and Tom's having a hot older sister that James took every opportunity to be around.

Lola had moved to L.A. more than six months before, so he hadn't seen much of her lately. The connection between the two boys had weakened slightly since then, and broken completely once Tom began to hang out with a crowd James' parents would not approve of. Not that James did, either. They looked like trouble to him.

So now, James spent his afternoons cooped up at home. He didn't like it much, but he didn't know what else to do about it.

He had no idea that his whole world was about to get turned upside down at the very hands of the woman he coveted.

Chapter 1: The Sanders'

Josh

In the hot midday sun over the San Diego megalopolis, thousands of cars flocked around the elegant skyscrapers in organized chaos. The sun reflected on these sleek structures, casting long shadows on the squatter, less aesthetically pleasing buildings to the north which housed tens of thousands of working-class families.

Inside these enormous residential blocks just in from the coastline, interior homes never saw the light of the sun. Josh Sanders had grown up in one of these sunless rooms, his only escape the ocean to the west. His most treasured memories occurred on the Solana Beachfront and in the water, on his surfboard. The ocean belonged to everyone, no matter how poor you were.

He rarely went there now, not since he hit the reef and destroyed his knee just before his son was born. Instead, day by day, Josh watched time pass by from his kitchen table. His hazel eyes were always looking for what was wrong around him, permanently narrowed in his long face. He never lacked for subjects.

He sat in a room with a window that faced the sea. It was the only room in their apartment with a window; they were one of the lucky few families in the highrise who had managed to get a smaller unit with a view at all. In the little kitchen where he now sat, one wall bore a shelf with several surfing trophies and a picture of him and Rosie when she was still pregnant, taken at his last competition. The other held a vidcom, surrounded by pictures of his son James at various stages of growth.

The sun was slanting high on the wall. Josh turned his eyes to the door. A few minutes later, the door opened and Rosie entered, pulling on the top button of her uniform dress. She set her nametags on the table by the door— one for the hotel, one for the daycare— then put her shoes in the closet before walking over to him.

"How was your day?" she asked him, kissing him on the forehead. He caught her around the waist and pulled her into his lap. She sighed and ran her fingers through his silky, blonde hair. He leaned into her hand.

"Not bad. James hung out with me for a while this morning. He's in his room now."

Rosie pulled the tie from her dark, curly hair and shook it out. "Are he and Tom still fighting? Did he say anything to you about it?"

"Nah, we just hung out for a bit." He held her tightly.

"I'm tired, Josh. I need to go relax for a while." She tried to pull away.

"You can spare some time for me, baby." He kissed her neck.

She stiffened in his arms. He looked up and saw her resigned expression. "Fine," he said, pushing her up so quickly that she stumbled a step. "I get it. Let me know when I make your to-do list." He stared out the window.

"I've been working all day, querido!" She touched his arm. He kept his eyes on the ocean. "I'm sorry. Look, let me get a quick bath and then I'm all yours. Okay?"

He shrugged. "If you get around to it."

She kissed his cheek before walking into the bathroom with a deep sigh. A few minutes later he heard the bath running.

He stared despondently at the door after her. She just didn't understand. Without surfing, she and James were his whole world. There were a few friends that hadn't given him up, but Josh was glad most of his friends had gone away. He didn't want all his fans and the women who used to chase him during his competition days to see him like this. Better to stay here, with the two people who loved him no matter what, though Rosie's work schedule was always getting in the way. He knew she had to do it, but it didn't make it any easier to take.

Footsteps came down the hallway. "Hey Pops," James said from behind him. The fridge opened and closed.

"Hey kiddo. Want to watch some vids with me?"

"I'm reading the new comic Uncle E gave me last week. Maybe later."

Josh ground his teeth as he heard James walk back into his room and shut the door. Rosie's brother was always bringing him things like that. Trying to buy his son's affection. Did the same thing for Rosie, more often than not. He knew Emilio was trying to steal them from him, because gifts never came his way.

Then he sat up straighter. Usually Rosie put her shoes by the door. Why had she taken the time to put them in the closet, especially if she was so tired?

He rose, wincing as his knee gave a twinge after so long sitting, and limped to the closet. He opened the door and bent down to look closely at the shoes there. His nostrils flared, his lips a thin line as he marched into the bathroom, forgetting his limp.

He pulled the curtain back from the tub. The water splashed as she jumped in surprise at his sudden appearance. "Rosie, where the hell did these come from?" He held up the shiny black shoes in his hand.

Her mouth worked several times before she could answer. "My old pair was falling apart, Josh. I told you that last week. Today the soles finally gave out."

"But where did these come from? You don't get paid for three more days." He jiggled the shoes above the tub.

She didn't answer. She pulled her bare legs into her chest, staring intently at the water.

"You promised," he said, his finger stabbing down at her.

"But mine fell apart! I didn't know what to do, I can't go to work without them, and the hotel makes me buy the special kind. We didn't have the creds," she pleaded, looking so vulnerable, naked in the bathtub, that his heart gave a thump.

He knelt next to her. "Baby, you love me, don't you?" She nodded. He leaned close over her. "How am I supposed to know if you hide things from me?"

"I didn't hide anything. I was going to tell you."

"But you called your brother first. How is that supposed to make me feel?"

She looked down, her face tense. "I'm sorry, Joshie. I won't do it again."

"I forgive you, honey. Of course I do, I love you. Nobody loves you like I do. Especially not him. Right?" He touched her face gently. She nodded. He stood up, groaning as his weight came back onto his knee. He took a step toward the door, then turned back. "I'll tell ya what. You take some extra time to yourself in here, Rosie. Relax, then bring dinner to our room and we'll spend some time alone together."

With one last loving look at his wife, he walked out to wait for her in the bedroom.

Rosie

Rosie's jaw was clenched so hard that her temple was starting to throb. The water had long since gone cold. This was a treasured moment, nonetheless. No one would walk in. No one would knock. It was a gift given by the very person who had prompted her headache, a bitter pill which she had no choice but to swallow.

Eventually she stood up and pulled the drain on the tub, grabbing a towel and drying off. After she got dressed, she stared at herself in the mirror. The dark circles under her eyes were pronounced now that her makeup was washed off, the stark light above the window shadowing her face in unflattering ways. Her fingers touched her black hair where several silver strands wove through, then her jaw, where the skin was loosening.

"You're life is slipping away," she whispered to the woman in the mirror. Her eyes squeezed shut and she turned away. Her heart pounded uncomfortably, as it had so often lately. She breathed slowly and evenly, willing the pressure to ease.

She had discovered recently that imagining her life as it could have been helped ease the stress. Her life with certain choices remade, without the strictures of bills and marriage and, yes, even motherhood. Although James always was present in the fantasy world, somehow she was free to make her life what she wanted it to be. Somehow the pressure of being a perfect mother didn't weigh as heavily when Josh wasn't there. It was something she didn't examine too closely.

Not that it never occurred to her to start over. If she were to leave, she would have to move in with Emilio. Josh was the vindictive type and would probably end up manipulating James against her. At least in this situation she could wield some influence.

And that didn't even address the fact that, after all these years, she still loved him. Her face softened as she remembered the way he used to be, so strong and sure of himself. A winner, many times over. He was still loyal and devoted to her after all they had been through. That had to count for something.

Josh would fall apart if she wasn't there. He'd let himself go, probably fall in totally with those losers he spent time with after his monthly check came in. She knew they probably did drugs, but she tried not to let it bother her. So long as he came home. Besides, he never did anything except for that one weekend every month.

The time he was gone was a lovely, relaxed time for her and James, too. They went to Emilio's house for the weekend when he was on Earth. Their time there felt almost normal. Like before Mama died.

She sat shakily on the closed toilet seat. She had so little going for her. Too old for a fresh start. Not even pretty enough to attract someone new, someone who would be more helpful. And since she was being brutally honest with herself at this moment, she had to admit that she was a little jealous of Josh. He didn't have to work, just collected his disability check once a month. And he had friends, which she had no time to make.

Jealous of the man who loved her more than anything. The one who had seen his dreams destroyed when he was so young. She shook her head in disbelief at her selfishness.

She rose and left the bathroom to begin making dinner. The kitchen filled with sounds and smells that comforted her. Eventually, as she knew it would, it brought James out of his room.

"Smells good, Mom! What are you making tonight? Can I help?"

"Carne Asada. You can make the guacamole. You always do a good job with that." She watched him with pleasure out of the corner of her eye as he began assembling the ingredients, trying not to make her doting too obvious. He was getting so tall, already catching up to his father's height. He'd be ready for high school soon.

"What was Pop upset about?" He asked quietly after a few minutes.

"Oh, nothing, cariño. Just a little misunderstanding."

"Was it about Uncle E again?" he asked.

Rosie cursed in her head. It was so much easier when James was too young to understand the nuances. "Don't worry about it. Let's just get dinner on."

James shrugged like he didn't care, but he kept shooting her looks as they put everything together. She enjoyed this short-lived quiet moment with just the two of them, focusing on what she had going on the stove. Josh came out when she was finishing up the steaks.

"Why is the table set, Rosie? I thought we were going to spend some time alone." His voice was loaded with implications.

She turned around to see that James had set the table while she was cooking, like he always did. "Oh, cariño! He didn't know, Joshie."

"Because you didn't tell him." He nodded, obviously drawing the worst conclusion. "First the shoes, then this. What is with you today?"

"Shoes?" James asked in confusion.

"Your mother got your Uncle to buy her a gift, after she had promised not to," he said to James, his eyes fixed on Rosie.

"They fell apart!" she said again, feeling ridiculous explaining herself.

"You finally got those old dogs replaced?" James asked. "About time. What did you expect her to do, go to work barefoot?" Part of Rosie wanted to smile at his defense of her, but she quelled the urge.

Josh's livid eyes turned onto James. "You too? I knew he would turn you both against me one day. My own family. Fine, then," He slammed his fist into the wall, leaving a dent in the cheap material. "You two can eat by yourselves." He stormed into the bedroom and slammed the door.

The two of them stood next to the table, the tension spoiling the smell of good food in the air. "I'm sorry," Rosie said.

"Don't apologize. You didn't do anything!" James' eyes flashed with anger.

"No, don't blame him. He has his reasons for acting like that. We just need to be more understanding, and make sure that we do our best to…" Her voice trailed off as she registered James' hostile look.

"To what, mom?" James asked, his voice hard.

She couldn't answer at first. Finally, she replied, "To bring ourselves happiness in other ways." She looked intently into his eyes. "When you're ready, find yourself a strong woman, then treat her right. Don't make the same mistakes your Pop and I have, okay?" Her hand touched his face gently.

He shook his head, still angry. "You didn't do anything wrong, Mom. Nothing."

There was nothing to say that wouldn't make it worse. She loaded up a tray and took it into the bedroom, leaving James to eat his supper alone.

James

James turned on the vidcom while he ate, trying to distract himself from the unfairness of the scene that had just unfolded. He was also trying not to think about whatever his parents were doing while he was out here alone. He gritted his teeth, turning the volume up.

It occurred to him to call his best friend Tom and the memory of how Tom had been treating him for the last few weeks stung him anew. Talk about unfair. Seemed to be a theme lately. He applied himself to his meal energetically, seeking comfort in the homecooked meal.

Partway through the show he was watching, someone rang the chime at the front door. Sighing, he rose to answer it.

James' heart began to pound when he saw Tom's sister, Lola, standing outside. Her bright clothes seemed to glow in the artificial light of the hallway. Her red-brown hair was pulled back tightly and flowed forward over her shoulder, smooth and gleaming. Her green eyes were lined in dark purple, sparkling like jewels over her slick red lips. Something about the vision reached deep inside him and sparked a source of fascination.

"Hi, Jimmy. Have you seen my brother?" She looked down at him, even though she wasn't in heels. As always, he felt a twinge of regret at their considerable age difference.

"No," James said. "Is something wrong?"

"He hasn't been home since yesterday. His foster parents called me, so I came in from L.A. this morning to look for him. I didn't find him, but I'm not sure where to look either."

"I haven't heard from him in a while. He stopped talking to me when he started hanging out with some other kids at school."

"Do you know where they hang out?" Lola asked.

"Yeah, there are a few places." Places he'd been told to avoid in no uncertain terms; by his mother, and more recently by Tom.

"Will you show me? I don't want him spending another night on the streets."

James looked back into the apartment. His parents were likely to be in there all night. They wouldn't want to be disturbed… so they wouldn't miss him. "Sure, let me get my shoes on." He left a quick message on the table telling them he was out with Tom and quietly shut the front door behind him, a thrill in his gut.

Lola pushed the button to the ground level in the elevator. "My bike is in the garage. Have you ever ridden on a bike before?"

"Sure, lots of times. My uncle has one. I've been practicing for the race in the spring."

"Good, I don't want you to freak out or anything. Where are we going?"

"Um, let's try the park by the school– the one next to the market."

"How unoriginal. The middle schoolers still hang out there?" Lola shook her head as she walked up to a beat-up blue bike. She swung a leg over it, activating the drive. "Hop on and hold on tight."

He climbed up behind her and was overwhelmed with a powerful feeling he couldn't readily identify as he wrapped his arms around her waist. She smelled so good, and her stomach was muscular yet curvy under his hands in a way that he couldn't have anticipated.

"Lock your wrists, Jimmy. We'll be going fast." The engine roared beneath him and James jerked backward as they tore off, weaving through the sparse ground traffic. James' heart was hammering in his chest. This was way better than watching the vidcom.

"What have you been doing in L.A.?" he shouted over the wind.

"Working at a club downtown. Just saved up enough to buy this bike. It's nicer down there than in this neighborhood, but way more expensive. You okay back there?"

"Yeah!" He held on tighter, his spirits soaring as they tore through the streets, swerving around the turns.

They cleared the residential blocks just as the last sliver of sun winked out behind the ocean. The air was cool as it whipped around to where James' face was pressed to Lola's back. A part of him was worried, as he had been for quite some time, about his friend, but most of him was preoccupied with the present moment. He had never felt anything quite like hurtling through the evening behind a beautiful woman on a fast bike. He reveled in the feeling. The fact that his parents had no idea he was gone made it that much more thrilling.

The area behind the market was a wash, but at the next stop they hit paydirt. A random kid at the new park on the other side of the school told them that Tom had been there earlier, but he had left to go to someone's apartment with a group of other kids. It didn't take much for Lola to get the address from him. People seemed to want to give her what she wanted, and James couldn't blame them. She was so beautiful that the grungy park seemed to light up when she entered. He shot smug looks at the other boys as they left, glad that he had something they would be jealous of. It was an unfamiliar feeling, one he wanted to repeat as soon as possible. He happily pressed himself against her as the engine roared back to life.

The address wasn't too far from James' place, but in a seedier part of town. Lola didn't show any discomfort as she walked past the group of thugs at the doorway of the underground garage. Something about the way she looked at them made them turn away. James studied her as they rode the elevator up, trying to figure out what it was.

"What?" she asked.

"Just surprised. I was expecting those guys to say something to you."

But Lola just laughed. "People like that are looking for an easy mark. I'm not an easy mark. They could tell."

"Mark?"

"A target. Prey."

"Oh." James considered this. With the frequency he was picked on at school and elsewhere, he was definitely easy prey. He looked at her again, trying to make out what made her a 'bad mark'.

The elevator opened and they walked out.

"This is it," she said finally, stopping in front of green a door marked "4405D".

James could feel the bass of the music inside pulsing through his feet. She pressed the doorchime. A few minutes passed and she pressed the button again.

Muffled voices, evidently arguing, came from behind the door before it opened to reveal an older boy with a shaved head that James recognized from school. A shaggy blonde-haired kid stood just behind him. A pungent smell wafted out from inside which he didn't recognize, but made his nostrils tingle.

Before the boys could speak, Lola had shoved past them into the apartment. The room inside was dark and cramped, thick with the odor James had noticed in the hallway. The room was littered with bottles and trash. A closed door was behind the couch, light filtering from underneath. It illuminated the smoke in the room eerily.

Three more boys wearing wrinkled, trendy clothes sat in front of a vidcom on a broken-down couch, with two crates and an old box being used as tables nearby. Tom sat in a chair near the far wall.

"Tom," Lola said, moving in front of the boys on the couch, kicking trash out of the way as she went. She hit the power button to the stereo and the room fell into silence. "It's time to go."

"Wha- whadda you want, Lola?" Tom slurred. "Jimmy, get lost! I told you before, I don't hang out with anyone not in the gang."

"Cut the shit," Lola snapped. "This is some den of losers you've discovered. Please, tell me you're only drunk." She turned to the kid who had let them in. "You're not supposed to smoke red sand, you jackassess. You'll just get sick."

The blonde kid leaned in to the older one who had let them in. "I told you not to let her in."

"Shut the fuck up, Kenny. It's my place, I let in who I want. Besides, what's she gonna do?" He shut the door and moved closer. "One bitch and a kid, that's all."

"What are you, sixteen years old?" Lola asked with a snort. "I'm taking my brother and leaving." She sidled up until she was looking down her nose at him. "But if you want me to embarrass you in front of your friends before I go, be my guest."

The kid's face twisted into a snarl and James knew it was on. He backed against a wall, hoping to stay out of the way. He'd never been in a fight before.

The bald kid shoved Lola back. "He's with us now."

Tom stood up, rocking forward on his feet and knocking into the table. Several bottles clattered to the floor. "Don't touch my sister!"

Lola didn't wait for them to come to an understanding; her fist was already swinging. The bald kid went down with a fleshy thwack, falling against the front door. The blonde kid shouted and tried to grab her. She sidestepped him and brought her knee into his gut. He fell next to his friend. James gaped at her.

"Anyone else?" she asked the rest of the room.

"He belongs with us now! He's already been through the initiation. There's no way out." The bald kid was rising off the floor and backing away from her.

"Isn't there?" she asked sweetly. "We'll just see about that."

"Go away, Lola! This is what I want." Tom complained.

"You don't know what the hell you're talking about. These are not people you want to get tangled up with."

"That's right," said a deep voice from behind the couch. "You don't." All heads turned to the bedroom door, now open. James backed further into the corner, his eyes wide. The man was three times Lola's size, huge arms bulging out of his dirty shirt. He pushed his stringy blonde hair out of his eyes with one thick fist, the fat jiggling under his arm.

But Lola wasn't fazed. "Tom doesn't belong with you people. I'm taking him with me."

"That's not what Raul says, and Raul is the boss around here. He's already been beat into the gang a few weeks ago. But I'm sure you can make a personal plea for your little brother if you stick around." He grinned unpleasantly at her.

"If I do, will he let my brother go?" Lola asked.

"If you're good enough, yeah. He can be very generous." He ran a finger down her bare arm.

She grabbed his nipple and twisted it cruelly through the shirt. The man shouted in pain.

"You don't touch me, you fat fuck. Understand?"

He shoved her hard and she stumbled back into the couch. "You bitch! I'm gonna tell Raul you did that."

"Go right ahead. I have a few things to tell him myself," she said.

He panted, his hand pressed to his chest. "Be under the boardwalk by the fifth pier at 1 am. If I were you, I'd wear something sexy," he leered.

"Whatever. Come on, Tom." She tugged at his sleeve.

"No!" he shouted at her. "You can't do this to me!"

"You'll come with me now. Or else." Something in her voice made him move. Again James wondered what it was about her that made people listen to her. She gestured for James to go ahead of her, then grabbed Tom's arm and towed him out.