Ok Charger fans. I've been thinking* about this preseason shambles that we are subjecting ourselves to and have noticed that no one seems to have pointed out the obvious. Why?

Why do it?**

So far the two biggest noises made in these games are the breaking bones of Ryan Mathews and Vincent Brown respectively. And we all know luck comes in 3s. Who is next? Which Charger voodoo doll is currently about to be impaled by the sticky needle of Fate?***

Are we learning that much that we didn't know before? When the real dance starts Rivers will look for Gates and Floyd (and now NOT V Brown. Did I mention Vincent Brown is now injured) and maybe at some point Meacham will figure out who his QB is. Just prior to our O Line collapsing Rivers will be frantically handing off to R Brown **** and/or John's cousin Yippi Ky Aye MF McClain (and now NOT R Mathews. Did I mention R Mathews is now injured)

Our Safety's will be ok, our CB's won't be and our D Line will look shiny around Super Melvin and less shiny not around Super Melvin. Whoever we decide our kicker will be, will be the wrong choice. Our Special Teams will do strange and largely fruitless things.

Are two more preseason games going to change any of this? Are the second and third stringers going to show anything that they haven't had the opportunity to show in practice?

No I hear you say. and I thank you for your resounding endorsement.*****

So, we need to stop this. After the jump I have some lame excuses excellent valid reasons why we can't make it to Minnesota. Please feel free to add your own. If you disagree, be prepared to hang your head in shame when Antonio Gates falls awkwardly on top of Philip Rivers****** and both are ruled out for the season forever.

Shame on you, Shame.

1. Imminent birth of Rivers' 13th child. Might not be true, but everyone has lost track anyway. Oh, and the whole team needs to be there. To stop Chao getting involved.

2. Ingram started packing but could not reach, well, anything.

3. Dome collapse fear *******

4. It's only Minnesota.

5. You get in some kind of trouble if you get near Adrian Peterson.********

6. Vikings play in Canada somewhere, and we don't play in the CFL.

7. Why ruin a perfectly good Friday.

8. There's a great game between Seattle and KC on at the same time. People will want to watch that.********

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* Not really

** If it's an NFL rule, disregard everything after this point.

*** No, you can't pick AJ. # Thanks, AJ.

**** R Brown, not V Brown, because he is INJURED.

***** I heard a noise. I think it was the cat, but I'm going with 'your resounding endorsement'.

****** I have no idea how or why this would occur.

******* I read something about a dodgy Dome over there last year. Was it Minnesota? Hell, if it's not about the Chargers. I don't really know. Where is Minnesota anyway? If it was there, let's not go to Minnesota.

******** I don't know if this is true. You either get arrested for touching him or he gets arrested for touching you. It's one of those.

*********This is patently untrue.