Recap: Saga caught a Shinx named Barret, swapping Wyatt out. She defeated Graham and got the next badge, but lost to Asgard several times while trying to complete a Pokemon Ranger mission.

Asgard Member: with the other three! That would create a square, all Pokemon in the middle of it being hypnotized! So come on, just a few more meters… *sees Saga* You’re that kid that’s been messing with Freyja and Thor! Do you know who I am? I am the Gruntmaster! I rule the grunt division of Team Asgard! You don’t stand a chance!

As you can see, we finally made it all the way to the Gruntmaster in the Pokemon Ranger mission. Luckily, everybody’s pretty healed up, so I am crossing my fingers that we can get this guy down and move on with our lives.

Whew, looks like we’re off to a good start! Xion got rid of Floatzel, giving me high expectations for the rest of my team.

Level 34 stats.

I keep Xion out for Rhydon, thinking I can just spam his custom move Water Blade, but Rhydon doesn’t give him the chance. Next up is our little psychic kitty, who finishes the job with Psyshock.

Level 37 stats.

I have seen Axew before, but I had no clue what type it was. Assuming Steel, I sent out Shawn to spam fire moves at her. I was wrong and now I’m thinking Axew is either ground and/or dragon… that doesn’t stop us from spamming Lava Plume anyway.

Another dragon pops out and we hit her with more fire.

She’s got some crazy breath that faints Shawn anyway.

Zephyr, get back out here and show ’em how it’s done!

Two Psyshocks and we end this nightmare of losing to grunts.

Gruntmaster: Could it be? Your genuine bonds overcame my fake ones?

Nah, that can’t be it…

Pokemon Ranger: you? A true bond is necessary between you and your Pokemon, not this fake one! Now scram! *Team Asgard Gruntmaster disappears* That’s a Gigaremo! We thought Team Dim Sun back in our home region of Almia had the last ones. I’ll deal with this. You report back to base!

What, no reward? Lady, gimme something here! I suffered a lot for you guys!

Well, my ego suffered a lot, but still!

No, I’m not doing another mission yet! I haven’t even healed my Pokemon!

WHAT WHAT WHAT

NO I WANTED TO SAY NO

STOP TALKING TO ME

HOLY SHIT I AM NOT READY FOR ANOTHER MISSION

HALF OF MY TEAM IS FAINTED

CRAAAAAAAP

DESERT?!

I’VE CHANGED MY MIND

THE TOWN IS ON FIRE I BETTER GO CHECK ON IT

LET ME LEAVE DAMNIT

Ahhhh, I fucked up.

I must have been clicking too fast or something because I had no intention of doing another mission immediately after that one.

We get sent to a desert and I just run away from every trainer I see. I don’t want to lose to another grunt. I also don’t want to lose any money. I manage to dodge everyone, but in doing so, I miss out on a lot of experience my Pokemon could have had.

But my ego is more important.

Oh for the love of… I do not want to lose to this guy!! Why wasn’t I paying more attention when clicking through the Ranger Leader’s speech?!

Thor: Saga! This Gigaremo is controlling all the Pokemon in this area! I’m sure you and your little Ranger faction want to destroy it…

Actually, I’m totally fine with it. Seriously. Just let me leave without fainting anybody and you can keep using it. Seriously.

Thor: You’ll have to beat me first! Consider this payback for the Hadron Collider!

This is going to end horribly.

Foxxy nooooooo!

Why the hell does Electivire get Thunder Punch AND Fire Punch?! That’s too many elemental punches!

Zephyr tried to “psych” her out (ha ha get it?!), but Electivire used those punch moves again. Poor Zephyr.

Thor is just picking my team off one by one… I’ve only got Yukio and Barret left.

Come oooooon!

I knew that was going to happen but did you have to make it so brutal? You could have just started off with an electric move, you didn’t have to torture the little guy by surprising us with ICE PUNCH.

Oh crap… it’s up to Barret…

He takes out Electivire, levels up to 39, and then we get lucky. Thor sends out a Sharpedo at us. At least Barret can use his type-advantage before going down to one of the other two Pokemon Thor’s got left.

I didn’t use my potions and whatnot on Yukio and Foxxy because Foxxy faints ALL THE TIME and Yukio wasn’t going to be able to withstand electric Pokemon. I gave Barret a Hyper Potion on the slight offense he might actually be able to win and then a fucking Pupitar is sent out and I start losing hope all over again.

She FLINCHED! Holy crap! We may have a shot at this!

Do it again, Barret!!

Another FLINCH! I’M GETTING REALLY EXCITED NOW!

Pupitar faints and we level up to 40 BITCHES!

Just one more Pokemon! You got this, Barret!!

CRAAAAAAP

Our only plan is a Bite-spam.

Barret actually flinches the opponent twice in a row before she lands a hit on him.

We are so close to actually winning. I don’t take any chances and feed Barret a Hyper Potion before making what I hope to be the final blow.

IT IS! IT IS THE FINAL BLOW!

BARRET YOU DID IT! I LOVE YOU!! YOU TOOK ON THREE OF THOR’S POKEMON AND FUCKING WON!

In all honesty, I freaked out when this happened. I wasn’t even prepared to fight and Barret just decides to dominate and level up to 41 afterwards. I was so stoked it wasn’t even funny.

BAHAHA I defeated you with practically ONE POKEMON. I hope you feel silly!!

Thor: I will retreat for now. Consider this Gigaremo destroyed.

We leave the ranger house immediately to go heal before we do anything else stupid.

I don’t believe I’ve talked about Jeremy before. He is Professor Oak’s assistant (or something like that). He was our first battle after retrieving Shawn as a starter. He had a Snubbull. Anyway, he’s super nice every time we talk to him, and now he wants to have a friendly battle.

Foxxy nooooooo!

We still won. Jeremy gives us SURF and I sigh because nobody in my team has the ability to learn it… and it is pretty evident that I need to use it to get to the next plot point, because there is a huge body of water next to me.

When day rolls around, we decide we need to catch ourselves a fish.

…not that fish…

We catch this neat little guy and name him Caerwyn.

We temporarily box Xion so we can use Caerwyn to get across the water.

I don’t want to train Caerwyn, though, so we’ll pick our poison-snake back up as soon as we get the opportunity.

Hah. Saga’s being followed by a fish.

I was initially concerned with putting all of that weight on a little one-pound fish, but he magically turned into a fucking Lapras once he hit the water and I didn’t worry anymore.

The guy below us just starts walking across the ocean.

Why didn’t we just get him to take us to the other side? Then I wouldn’t have had to box Xion.

After a ridiculous amount of wilds and trainer battles, we finally make it to the next town.

Aaaaand my love for the dialogue in this game continues.

Hah!

Aww, I was hoping for another “what’s brown and–” joke.

Ohhhh, what? Thor AND Loki are here??

Better go stock up on some revives and Hyper Potions. This is going to be a long battle.