Chapter Text

You were not all that special, objectively speaking. In terms of power your were far outclassed and there were other substitutes with a better repertoire of skills in your Class. It was true that you were different: able to change into a Berserker once your Noble Phantasm had been activated, but your Berserker form was a source of discomfort for you.



I could not help but roll my eyes whenever you spoke of how you were a broken man and how you decided your abilities suffered because of it. It was a part of who you were, yes, but when you went on your tirades, you made it sound like that was all you had to offer. You sure knew how to make a poor excuse of a magus like myself feel worse.



Despite that, I was drawn to you. Maybe it was because I wanted to prove you wrong, or I wanted to make something out of myself. Maybe it was because you were quite dashing in your own way and I really liked seeing you smile. I wanted to get to the bottom of the pit that was you and take out all your little secrets.



Getting there was not as hard as I thought; for someone so bent on socially depriving himself in fear of hurting someone, you were easy to talk to. I figured you were lonely, now that you had become a Servant. I imagined your life to be full of tiring social functions; as an affluent doctor, you must have had a lot of people wanting to make your acquaintance. Your achievements in life were put on a pedestal for all to see so it made sense that you would be popular.



Was that why you felt the need to get rid of your darkness? If so, then I can understand why your plan backfired.



You were falling asleep when you laid everything in the span of four words and it felt like the first stretch of light after a long dream. How ironic that your head was on my lap, my hands were combing your (blonde? I'm still really unsure about that) hair and your eyelids fluttered rapidly. The words were hushed and quiet, like an old secret you were afraid of revealing.



I hate the light, you had said.



Edward Hyde was the personification of everything you wanted to remove from yourself, but in a twisted way, he was you at your most honest. You never told and even my instincts as your Master could only imply so much, but maybe you got tired of being watched and celebrated all the time. Maybe you felt the pressure of having to live up to their expectations but misinterpreted your own motives. Maybe deep down, you wanted your elixir to fail, because it would justify how you longed for the night.



We all had to wake from our dreams and that moment had been yours.



Morphing into Hyde had never been easy for you, but since then, it became easier for me to call you back. Your resolute vow of protecting me, both as an Assassin and as a Berserker, told me that I had succeeded. I had made something out of you. I had proven you wrong. You were not a broken man; you were just as whole as everyone else. I had made your smiles more meaningful and heartfelt.



Out of topic, but I honestly thought the omnipotent Grail was not all they made it out to be. We travelled across time and space and collected a good number of them and it seemed like they were used for every purpose except for what the creators intended it to do. Chaldea's method of using these Grails to exceed a Servant's given limits was a method I fully supported. I was a Master of Humanity's last bastion and it was but normal for me to use everything in my disposal to strengthen my Servants.



Your smile turned into a look of incredulity when I presented that empty cup to you. You never actually told me what your wish for the Grail was, but as your Master, I could hazard a guess. Maybe you had received your wish; maybe not, but the first thing you ever uttered after that brief exchange was a choked Why.



I anticipated that question and had answers prepared: because I wanted you to stop looking down at yourself, because I wanted to feel like I did something right, because I wanted to prove you wrong, because I wanted you to keep protecting me like you said and so on. In the end, all I managed was: "Because I'm a selfish Master."



Your face softened and the smile you usually wore nowadays made it's way back to your face. It was just an empty cup, but somehow I feel like I gave you a whole lot more than that.