Over the last week this image has been hanging around in my head. This piece is me personally coming to terms with recent events as well as some things past that have been brought up as a result. I usually don't write too personal or elaborate description on my thoughts of the work I do but in this case I think a bit of context might be in order. Before I begin though, if you don't want to read into anything then please don't continue. If you're just here for technicalities then skip the next section. There's more information down below as I usually append to most of my work.Tools used: Blender 2.78, Photoshop CS6Timelapse: youtu.be/SRSoZyuLP6U 16x9 uncropped wallpaper version: cloud.catlinman.com/s/Fgk5TSom… Where to honestly begin. This last week a rather tragic accident took place claiming the lives of a friend. I'm usually alright at dealing with events like these as I've experienced in the past, moving on day by day and looking forward trying to make others do the same, somewhat turning my back on my thoughts and instead helping others pursue dreams and live them. To varying degrees of success it works and people succeed. However, the things that have happened in my life over the last year or so alone have stacked up to a point where I end up being broken for a day or so whenever something bad like this event happens. You could argue this "broken time" is nothing compared to what others experience and that compared to them I do not "feel". I agree to that. I don't feel as others do and it's been that way for a long time. At the same time the emptiness hurts. It's a strange concept to me and it's impossible for me to explain at the same time. You put on a face day by day being the best person you can be but at the same time you can't hide the cracks in your facade no matter how hard you try. I took a day off after hearing about what happened back home and just had to take it all in. For the one part I just couldn't get over the mere idea that another person I knew was gone. It's not the first time and for sure not the last but something about this was different to me. Being rather far from where I used to live doesn't help in that sense. I got the news late when it had already happened. There's nothing I can do. There's nothing I could have done. It's sad to know that even when holding on and surviving someone else's mistake it can still not be enough. Clinging on to life as others watch. It's all over in the blink of an eye. Gone.I think what shook me the most was the meaninglessness of all of it. Your life builds up and it's over before anything even happened. Before you were able to experience the world. Know what it is even like to live. Dream. Maybe this is what truly breaks me. Knowing that the person that passed had their eyes open looking forward without a care in the world and it all just coming to a stop without any warning. The lack of a reason. It's hard to believe that the person you knew would just be gone the next day. I usually wish to go back in time, fix the past and dream of a better world but in a case like this what is there to say. Seeing that it all builds up to nothing. Why even try - why even think about it. I can't even find the words to describe what goes on in my simple mind. It's such a messed up chain of thoughts that I can't even wrap my own head around.I decided to make somewhat of a tribute piece to get some things out of my broken mind. This even brought up some past memories that I would rather forget. Felt like putting it all together in something that maybe others can find meaning in. Memories floating through the air, tears filling an unending river, a figure pushing a paper boat without a bottom down the stream that is life. A lonely candle on a journey without a clear goal. Where does the river end?. Why is it so deep and full of sorrow. Most of the image was kept neutral on purpose. I'm not keen on attaching what is lost to something that will hang around forever. The thought matters and it's what keeps people alive. You are dead when you're forgotten after all.I don't like interpreting my own work for the reason that I don't like putting thoughts in other peoples' heads. I felt though that my own thoughts in the piece might clear some things up. Either way, make up your own mind. Dream of a shore bordering another world. Be yourself. Live.I think that settles it. Not sure what else to write. I might revise what I wrote here at some point. Stay safe.