Chapter 3: Confusion and Ambivalence.

"Willow. Er, hi," said Giles, still blinking. "I'm glad you're alright. Did you just… teleport here?"

"Pretty much! Isn't it cool?"

"I suppose, maybe, yes, perhaps."

"Giles," chided Willow, "the second rule of having powers is that having powers is awesome. The first rule of having powers, of course, is to use them for good."

Angel was the first to break the resultant silence.

"Willow. It's good to see you. How is everyone?"

"They're good. Buffy is fine," said Willow, with a small smile. "She and Xander are on-ship. Buffy says hi." A pause. "Xander also says hi."

"That's good to hear," said Angel.

"'On-ship,'" said Giles. "You actually do have a spaceship, and it's still there."

"Yeah! Want to see?"

"Er, no thank you," said Giles. "Very tempting, yes, but I think I'll stay with my feet on the ground."

"Okay, I'll bring the others down."

Displacement bubbles flickered briefly on either side of Willow's avatar, then Buffy and Xander were there. All three of them were still dressed in the clothes that Ethan had surreptitiously enchanted.

Angel quickly went to embrace Buffy. Giles reacted like someone had knocked him off a cliff.

"Buffy," said Angel.

"You look good with a lightsaber," said Buffy, tracing a finger down Angel's chest. "Hi."

Angel realized he was still holding the toy lightsaber. Oh well.

While Buffy and Angel were catching up, Willow approached Giles, looking small and radiating deep concern. "Giles, are you okay? I know it's a lot to take in. We're still dealing with it ourselves."

"I'm, I'm fine, Willow, really."

"Okay." Willow smiled sadly and nodded. When she stepped back, Giles seemed to recover enough to address the whole group.

"Yes, alright. Well, er, what are we going to do now?" asked Giles.

Buffy and Angel reluctantly separated. Angel sheepishly stowed the plastic lightsaber hilt in his coat.

"How did you keep the ship?" asked Angel.

"It was kind of involved," said Willow.

"Why did you keep the ship?" asked Giles. "I mean, are you sure that was a good idea? A spaceship is, well, it's a big responsibility. If it's as powerful as everyone seems to imply, it would be very dangerous if it fell into the wrong hands."

Silence.

Now Angel was blinking.

Buffy was having trouble controlling her laughter.

Willow, evidently, was content not to explain herself.

"Giles," said Xander. "Seriously?"

"What? I don't think it's unreasonable —" tried Giles.

"We should have just let it disappear?" asked Xander.

"That's exactly right."

The atmosphere in the room was a pretty clear 'no.'

"Okay, let's say you keep the ship. Are you sure you're the best-suited to, hear me out —"

"Giles," began Angel, "you do realize that —"

"Think of all the good it could do for mankind," pleaded Giles.

"I have. I can do a lot," said Willow. "I've also thought of all the bad."

"That's good and well, but are you really qualified —"

"Yes. I'd say I'm the most qualified person in the volume by a long shot. Not that I want to brag."

"That's rather grandiose of you, Willow," said Giles.

Buffy's snickering was now distinctly audible.

"Giles, I am the ship," Willow explained patiently. She paused briefly as if to choose her words. "My thoughts run on its Mind core, its hull is my body, its fields are my skin, its effectors are my probing tentacles — you know. I'm the merger of Willow Rosenberg and the GCU Secretly Awesome, which was, as pre-spell Willow described it, 'a Mind version' of herself. The spell did the merge, I knew it would happen, and both sides of me prepared. Now I'm 100% more Willow than before."

"Er."

"Giles," said Buffy. "surely the concept of a sentient spaceship has been explained to you several times today."

"But I bet it was much easier to swallow as an abstract concept," added Willow. "Now we're pouring concrete all over you. It's like a big concrete mud pit! Anyway, my point is that I'm sympathetic to your plight. And, uh, still think science fiction is 'utterly without redeeming social value'? …okay, that was harsh. Apologies."

Xander chimed in, "What Willow means to say is, well-roundedness is the core of every liberal arts education. That's why I studied Klingon."

"You studied Klingon?" asked Buffy.

"Britain has a liberal arts curriculum?" asked Willow.

"There's something I've been thinking about," inserted Angel. "Willow was human. You're a Mind. I know it's not your fault, but there can't be much left of her."

"It was weird," explained Willow. "When you're under the spell, you hear, see, or otherwise experience all the conscious thoughts of your possessor. Fortunately, Ethan included a protection against insanity, presumably because Janus would have demanded it."

"Gee, if only every evil dude was that conscientious," commented Xander.

"So what happened to Willow?" asked Angel.

"I'm still her."

"You've clearly taken over her body," said Giles. "Or at least duplicated it."

"Giles: 'merge,'" said Buffy. "'Merrrrrge.' Get it?"

"Not quite, no."

"Once the spell started, there was no way back for me," said Willow, almost sadly. "Neither of me could fit in a human brain."

"Neither?" asked Angel.

"As Willow Rosenberg, I became something smarter than human when the spell started. That's how Janus fulfilled the protection. All that was left in my physical brain were a bunch of shattered fragments; my thoughts were mostly being simulated directly by the magic, or something. I'm still studying the process; it did a bunch of neat and totally novel stuff to upscale me.

"My previous selves were both equal participants in our merge. Given what we were, either of us could have easily bypassed it. As the old Mind of the GCU Secretly Awesome, I could have taken a backup of myself, then set automated procedures to suspend the newly created Mind, store it, and restore the backup. On the other side, as Willow Rosenberg, I knew, somehow innately, that I had the intrinsic capability to reject the changes the merge was about to make to me, to decide that wasn't who I wanted to be. Some magical thing that kicked in at the last minute, probably had to do with the details of the spell," concluded Willow.

Xander and Buffy were good at controlling their reactions, but Willow could tell that her latest bit of information had surprised them.

~ Guys, signaled Willow, ~ I'm guessing now that you didn't have that option. Let's discuss this later. Remember, we aren't certain as to their loyalties.

Giles had a slightly puzzled look on his face that suggested (at least to Willow) that he was trying but failing to remember some fact.

"Giles, did that mean anything to you?" asked Willow.

"Yes, yes, I think I understand better now. There are some precedents for joinings of this sort in the texts; I'll have to do some research. The spaceship thing threw me earlier, I'm embarrassed to say."

"No worries," said Willow, even though she could tell that Giles was still vaguely troubled. The most likely explanation for his sudden understanding was that the unavailable memory had, from the depths of his mind, triggered an association. Willow set aside part of herself to mull over the problem of what Giles was missing.

"Who was your captain, according to your spell-constructed past?" asked Giles.

"Giles…" said Buffy.

"No Buffy, we can't expect everyone to be familiar with the Culture. The books are pretty uncommon, actually," said Willow. "Giles, a Culture ship is its own person, or sometimes several persons in the case of some larger ships. It doesn't take orders, per se, from anyone, and is ultimately responsible for the well-being of its crew, though they don't take orders from it either. As a General Contact Unit, I tended to exchange ideas with my home ship, the GSV Quietly Confident, and my creator, the Sage of Grelal University on Gdem Orbital. As an influential Mind, I also participated in some larger communities, where my colleagues and I shared suggestions and had lots of fun discussions. The Culture doesn't like coercion or binding demands. It's not our way. Even in time of war, technically, though I was on some informal leadership lists. So you see, I really am the most qualified person to decide what to do with myself."

"Do you intend to announce yourselves to governments?" asked Giles.

"Not at this time, no. But I will work covertly to advance the interests of the good people of Earth, with some provisions."

"Would you be provisionally willing to consider suggestions from the Watcher's Council?"

"If you mean yourself? Absolutely. If you're referring to the whole institution, I need to learn more about them. Are you sure they'd react positively to my existence?"

"Honestly? I can't say for certain. To the extent that you're Willow Rosenberg, you know I think highly of you, and I will ensure that the Council knows as well. I can't speak for them officially, and any predictions I do make should be regarded as speculation rather than statement of policy or personal preference. That said, the Watcher's Council has a long history of interacting with powerful entities, and based on that experience, they have good reason to be cautious. Nevertheless, with time and effort, though, you should probably be able to convince them of your good will."

"And until then?"

"Well, until then, you should keep your head down, try to look small, and… not interfere with the Council's operations. Stay beneath their notice while simultaneously developing a reputation for being good. A difficult balancing challenge, but one which I think you're up for."

"Giles?" said Buffy.

Giles saw Buffy's frown. "Yes?" he replied hesitantly.

Buffy spent a moment collecting her thoughts before saying slowly. "Giles, I'm still the same Buffy, I'm still the Slayer, I'll still defend the world, and I'll still gladly accept your help and advice. Okay?"

"That's, that's, I'm very glad to hear that. Thank you, Buffy."

"I'm just doing the right thing. The Culture and the Council should work together for the sake of the Good."

"…I see. I'm concerned that some elements in the Council might be troubled by your phrasing. They may insist you be separated from Willow."

"Not going to happen," replied Buffy.

"I'm not sure they'd really care," said Giles.

"What are they going to do, abduct me from space?" countered Buffy.

"Well, I hope it doesn't have to come to that."

Willow straightened her posture and rejoined the conversation with a very formal tone. "Please understand, the Culture does not respond kindly to the coercion or enslavement of its citizens. I think we're approaching this from the wrong angle. Consider that it may be in the ultimate best interest of the Council not to learn of my existence for now, while I establish my goodness credentials. There's no need for us to be in conflict."

"Willow, I have an obligation to report what has happened tonight, and the Council may learn of it anyway. I'm sorry."

"Tell them that a spell was cast to make people behave like their costumes, but it was successfully halted and the perpetrator has left town. No need to mention the Culture; I doubt they know what it is, and even if they did have spies at school, they'd assume we weren't affected because we weren't 'really' wearing costumes. Also probably a good idea not to mention stuff like lightsabers becoming real."

"I'll consider it," said Giles stiffly.

"Thank you, Giles."

"I can't make any promises," hedged Giles.

"Knowledge of my existence represents an information hazard to the Council. Please remember that."

"It may not have been your intent, but the Council doesn't take well to threats. Nor do I, for that matter."

"It's not like I want to threaten you. I have a responsibility to protect the Culture," explained Willow patiently. "I'm just being honest."

Giles responded quietly. "I know you have memories of being part of what I'm sure was a marvelous civilization, but that civilization is gone. You represent just yourselves now, not the interests of some greater polity. However powerful you are, and however much good you intend to do, you're only three people. You have to think and act accordingly."

"Four people," said Angel. "If you'll have me."

"Five," said Jenny Calendar, walking through the curtain. "I want to join too."

(When you live with a Mind, you learn to expect this sort of coincidence, so Xander and Buffy were merely amused. Xander even applauded lightly.)

Giles' response was dulled. "Jenny… how?"

Jenny was very chipper. "By phone, then hologram about half an hour ago. I was outside the curtain for several minutes waiting for an opportune moment. How did I do?"

"Nicely!" said Willow. She respectfully nodded to Giles, then turned to her crew and gestured to the curtain. "Buffy, Xander, shall we confer?"

The group withdrew to the other side of the curtain, and Willow erected a quietfield around them for privacy.

"Well Giles is having fun," said Xander, reverting to Marain.

"At least he's negotiating well, given what he knows," replied Buffy.

"I think he has training," said Willow.

"Good for him," said Buffy. "But it's frustrating that he still sees us as kids."

"That was intentional," said Willow.

"I figured. Still frustrating."

"I know what you mean," said Willow. "Anyway, let's move on to the applicants."

"It's your ship," said Xander.

"But it's our Culture, and given how small it is, any single addition can substantially change it. Buffy, your vote?"

"Yes to both."

"Xander?"

"Yes too."

"Really?" asked Buffy.

"I know I'm jealous of Angel, and I make fun of him a lot, but he's a good person and a great recruit. This is not the time for pettiness."

"Xander, that was… thank you," said Buffy.

"I'll allocate quarters and draw up a curriculum," said Willow.

"I'll help with the teaching," said Buffy. "Particularly Angel."

Xander snorted, then volunteered to help as well, "particularly Jenny." Willow dropped the field.

"…ust Willow," Jenny could be heard saying.

Willow raised a one-way quietfield, but still murmured quietly (over Giles' response), "Jenny and Giles have been arguing, as you can imagine. Here." She sent a recording to their neural laces, which they both watched in accelerated time.

Five seconds of awkward silence.

"Don't you think you're being a little bit hasty?" asked Giles.

"I've wanted to join a civilization like the Culture since I first read about it many years ago," responded Jenny. "I thought it over again after Willow called me, since now it was for real. Yes, I'm sure."

"Of course. Computerized ships running around everywhere, doing good, making decisions for everyone. Sure you'd like it. Meanwhile, I can barely understand the damn thing on my desk."

"Rupert, don't be a bigot. Willow would be offended by the comparison."

"I don't even know how to respond to that."

Jenny raised an eyebrow and said nothing.

Giles tried a different tactic. "You'd just leave everything you've accomplished on Earth?"

"I can return if I want to."

"If they let you."

"They would. I trust them. I trust Willow."

"How do you know that creature evennnnnnnn iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssss…"

Xander and Buffy resumed listening with their ears in realtime.

"…s Willow," finished Giles.

"She's convinced me she's a Mind as described in the Culture books, and in those books, it's made clear that Minds can't or won't lie. If she says she's Willow, then she is."

~ We're going to have to enter before the conversation finishes so we don't look suspicious, sent Willow, lightning-fast.

"Do you really want to go touring around the galaxy with a bunch of teenagers?"

"Yes. Absolutely. Wouldn't you?"

"…I can't say."

~ Now.

"Rupert, you're supposed to help the Slayer wherever she might wander. Please join us. Please."

They pushed back through the curtain as Giles said "I'll need to spend the night thinking about it."

"Alright. We'll be hosting a Welcome Party on the ship tonight!" said Willow, nodding at both Jenny and Angel.

"Yes!" cheered Jenny, almost like a child.

Angel simply smiled.

"Giles, are you sure you don't want to see Earth from orbit?" asked Willow. "No obligations."

"Oh, alright," said Giles reluctantly.

Jenny beamed at Giles and kissed him on the cheek, and Giles stood stiffly, thrown as usual by the unexpected intimacy.

Outside, as crickets chirped and birds fluttered, a module floated down into the back lot, silent and invisible. None of the animals reacted to its presence. Trees rustled aimlessly in the wind. A car crashed into Ethan's glass storefront.