’Twas the night before Cryptomas…

Twas the night before Cryptomas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, except my Bluetooth mouse;

Trading monitors were mounted on my desk with great care,

In hopes that a Bitcoin rally would soon be there;

The kids were asleep clutching iOS devices;

While I executed trades after finding good prices;

My significant other watched Netflix with a popcorn,

While I sipped an energy drink that had turned warm,

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

I ran from my desk to see what was the matter.

I opened up my Ring security app and

Commanded Alexa to wake from her nap.

She activated the exterior house lights,

Revealing a scene that gave me a fright,

For in the yard, much to my surprise,

Were software engineers — all but one of them guys

Wearing blue logo hoodies and looking quite cold,

I knew in a moment they were from Stronghold.

They asked to come inside and explain

How they could alleviate my worst crypto pains.

“Our OTC brokerage has reasonable fees!

And our U.S. dollar token can be traded with ease!

No taunting with FOMO or instructions to HODL!

Buy and sell from your desk or a phone when you’re mobile!

We’ve added compliance, monitoring and reporting

Because RegTech is core to the platform we’re building!”

The Customer Happiness team reviewed my ID,

And in quick order, performed KYC.

With my identity confirmed, I now had a green light

To use Stronghold’s exchange and keep trading all night.

Just as I prepared to show the team out,

Sean — Stronghold’s CTO — scowled and started to pout;

“Before you send us home, I strongly advise

That you take a closer look at our new platform APIs.

These endpoints enable global payments and trading,

Which enables frictionless digital asset exchanging.”

His eyes — how they twinkled behind his glasses

While my imagination ran through digital asset classes

Such as ICOs and security tokens,

He had my complete attention; my mind was awoken.

Said Sean, “I’m very happy you accepted our greeting,

But now we must leave you; we have a scrum meeting!”

The Stronghold team zipped up their hoodies and returned to the yard;

After Sean recited a crypto address from a little white card,

There was a bright white flash, and my house gave a lurch;

Half of the engineers returned to San Francisco, and the rest, to Christchurch.

I rubbed my eyes as if I were in a dream;

And gulped some Red Bull to caffeinate my bloodstream;

Did that just happen? Or was it all a fantasy?

Has my interest in crypto pushed me to insanity?

But I heard Sean exclaim as he flew out of sight —

“Happy Cryptomas to all, and to all a good night!”

(h/t Clement Clarke Moore)