Everyone wants to know what parties and clubs to visit in NYC. This is our general guide to sex parties, and here’s our scorecard on parties in or near the City:

Killing Kittens: Killing Kittens recently created an annoying set of poorly functioning requirements to create an account; I’m not sure it’s worth jumping through the BS hoops. We enjoyed the party a year ago. Parties happen every two months or so. Entry fees are very high, too, which make the irritations of account creation all the more striking. Don’t entirely believe the hype about glamazons and model-beautiful people everywhere; most participants were normal. Parties have a slightly jet-set, cosmopolitan / faux-cosmopolitan, London-Berlin-Tokyo-Milan vibe. Emphasis on “slightly,” as the marketing differs from the reality. Shocking, I know.

Bowery Bliss: Heard mostly negative reviews; if you are going to go, go after midnight on Friday or Saturday, and only on nights that disallow single males, otherwise don’t bother.

Checkmate: Have heard mixed reviews here, and it sounds like some nights are great and others less so. Given the number of parties in NYC, you’re probably better off elsewhere unless you really want to go to a club on a night when none of the parties are happening.

Behind Closed Doors: Have always enjoy the parties, and the very best ones are absolutely fantastic. Recommended, especially for first timers. Parties occur have two months or so. We’ve met many friends here. I wonder if they’re being somewhat edged out by Killing Kittens, as KK has a much larger marketing apparatus.

Chemistry: Heard good things, so much so that we’ll go when we have a moment, though we found their application process irritating and intrusive enough to dissuade us. They also charge first-time attendees substantially more than previous attendees, which seems off-putting to anyone who hasn’t been. If you’re dying to go to a party and KK or BCD aren’t happening, but Chemistry is, go for it.

Gemini & Scopio’s Countdown play party: We went and enjoyed ourselves, although it was pretty small (likely due to the time of year). Very newbie friendly. Like Wonderland, it has a stronger arty, BM, free-spirit and magic mushroom vibe. KK and BCD have more of a glamour, fancy dress, and coke vibe. Neither is necessarily “right,” and many people do both styles (including us), but we are trying to describe rather than judge.

Taste: Went to one party that was transparently dreadful. Almost no one showed and the people who did show seemed vacuous at best and ready for Rikers Island at worse. It’s like the old joke, “The food was terrible and the portions were small.” We were surprised that the couple running the party didn’t just say, “This was an off night, come back another time on us.” Avoid it.

Snctm: Never been; got “approved,” then discovered their outrageous four- and five-figure prices. What a joke. After that we ignored everything about them; really, if we wanted to hire escorts to be the party we could do that ourselves and cut out the middleman. Clearly this party has incredible PR and two groups who might attend: insiders who get comped and marks who pay full price. We are unlikely to be the former and unwilling to be the latter.

Heaven Circle: Loved it, but the party seems very UK-centric; in NYC parties are intermittent. Music is overly loud at times. We plan to attend their next party. Heavily body conscious, which may be a plus or minus depending on who you are, but like most parties they are less “elite” than their marketing suggests. We loved it and hope for another one.

La Trapeze: Never been, heard terrible, terrible reviews. The marketing emphasis on their “hot and cold buffet” is off putting. Sex is great. Restaurants are great. Together they are not so great. Snacks are great but a buffet in the same space as a bunch of naked, fucking people seems off.

NS-FW: Have not been but have heard mostly good things. This is one piece that reads like a PR promo placement, but it does sound promising. I think this is being done by the same guy who does Snctm. They don’t seem to have a good ticket and credit card situation, however. The West Village venue is rockin’, at least as of this writing. Good BDSM. Something seems to happen every week.

Our favorite parties are still private. People who show up and make friends at public parties tend to find their way into the better private ones. Feeld also has some interesting people on it in NYC. If you know of parties we’ve missed, please let us know.