The Internet is a terrible place.

Thankfully, within the worldwide abyss of darkness, there are a few examples of joy that make the filth seem tolerable. The thing about these pockets of good, however, is that the best ones are not found on purpose. They can’t be sought out. You have to accidentally stumble across these goldmines.

This was the case as two sports-related events accidentally led me to the Internet’s Eighth Wonder of the World. The first: Seattle Seahawks fullback Michael Robinson, in his spare time, interviews athletes on his web series, The Real Rob Report. This became big news earlier this week, as he landed an interview with Darrelle Revis, who spoke candidly with his fellow NFLer about his willingness to play for the Jets or whomever decides to take him.

Athletes interviewing athletes. Very interesting.

The second: Kobe Bryant, responding to questions about Ibaka’s cheap shot on Blake Griffin, said, “I probably would have smacked him in the mouth.”

Kobe being Kobe. Very interesting.

So we have athletes interviewing athletes, and Kobe being Kobe. What about, say, an athlete interviewing Kobe? That’s surely never going to happen —

What is this? Where are they? How did this happen? When did this happen? Do either of them know they’re being filmed? Who paid for this? Did anyone pay for this?

ALL VALID QUESTIONS.



Introducing: Stars on Stars with Stephon Marbury.





This show, which had a 13-episode run on Fox SportsNet, beginning on March 9, 2007, premiered with special guest Kobe Bryant. And it is a treasure. A national treasure. There isn’t a single thing that’s wrong with it.

Just look at the promo video:

“This is what it is. Green screen.”

You have to respect the transparency.

“Two couches. Me. Stephon Marbury, a.k.a. Starbury.”

I WONDER IF THOSE COUCHES ARE ALSO GREEN-SCREENED?

“We sit down. We just talk about life.”

Sadly, they are real couches, but look at that green-screened lineup. If I’m not mistaken, in addition to Kobe Bryant, I see golfer Vijay Singh, Girls critic Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, ’90s comedian Adam Sandler, Red Hook Summer director Spike Lee, NBA owner Mark Cuban, no. 82 at some point for the Bengals, and the recently retired Shawne Merriman.

Very impressive, “Stars on Stars.” Keep going, Starbury.

“We just talk about whatever you do.”

Though the simplest phrase, isn’t that what every interview essentially boils down to? Thank you, Stephon, for eliminating the fluff and getting straight to the point. One comment, though: Maybe sit up in that hilariously plush chair that you refer to as a couch. Also, maybe work with a different clothing color scheme next time. You’re kind of blending in with the furniture.

“Nothing more, nothing less.”

Whatever you say, Steph.

“I’m taking you on a ride. What more could you ask for?”

NOTHING.

“It’s Stars on Stars. On Fox SportsNet. Check us out?”

So this is the best. There’s no denying that. Through careful examination of this promo, as well as a quick IMDb scan of “Stars on Stars with Stephon Marbury,” it’s clear this is deeper than Stephon and Kobe.

But for now, let’s focus on these two. It’s for your own good, because once you’re done watching this, you’ll have nothing left to give.

Season 1, Episode 1: March 9, 2007. Guest: Kobe Bryant.

Tagline: “Stars on Stars” gives you all access to one of the greatest players in the NBA — Los Angeles Lakers superstar Kobe Bryant.

Spoiler Alert: This is the most comfortable Kobe Bryant has ever been in an interview. Ever. Stephon Marbury did that.

Part 1 (of 4)







Stephon starts the interview with a commonality between the two men — their kids. One of his first questions:

“Who did it resemble?”

More Marbury, on letting the kids sleep in the room with the parents:

“See, I made that mistake of letting my daughter sleep with me. That’s like the worst mistake I ever made, because you be in the room with your wife and, you be laying down and you wanna, you know, and it’s like it’s not happening.”

And then Kobe goes on to essentially tell us that for his daughter, “Barney Time” = “Nap Time” = “KOBE AND VANESSA TIME.”

Following that, Kobe, describing putting his daughter’s hair in pigtails:

They go on to talk about growing from kids to young men to men, while balancing being the children of parents and also being parents themselves: