NEW YORK—In an effort to provide additional insight into the league’s many complex rules and regulations, officials from CBS announced Friday that the network’s NFL coverage will now feature the analysis of an in-studio fan who will offer partially correct explanations for every contentious refereeing decision. “Through the rest of the playoffs, we’ll have a longtime NFL fan standing by in New York who possesses, at best, a tentative grasp on NFL rules to offer long-winded, rambling assessments of officiating calls,” said NFL On CBS executive producer Lance Barrow, noting that the middle-aged fan will appear via satellite to interpret complicated calls such as intentional grounding, pass interference, and illegal contact with varying degrees of inaccuracy. “Whenever a play is under review, the fan will offer his take, which will inevitably blur the line between college and pro rules, contradict an earlier explanation he gave for an identical play, or demonstrate a very clear bias toward one team, often ending with loud accusations that the ref is a dumbass who must be fucking blind.” Barrow went on to assure viewers that the fan’s explanations will be no more confusing, nonsensical, or irritating than those of CBS’ regular team of color commentators and studio analysts.

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