It's really easy to get this kind of painting wrong. Terribly, hilariously wrong.

Regardless of how you feel about religion, you can't deny that it has given us some of the greatest art of all time. Think about the pressure it puts on an artist -- Michelangelo painted the Sistine Chapel ceiling knowing that he was trying to capture the most absolute expression of beauty, creation and perfection imaginable.

11 The Introduction by Nathan Greene

Nathan Greene

Note how Eve's naked body seems to have been airbrushed green.

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The Intended Meaning:

As the artist puts it:

"The Introduction is a stunning portrayal of that first moment of man's special blessing from God. A brand new world sparkles and vibrates with color and movement as Adam and Eve gaze with a wonder and tenderness to set the standard for all time."

Well, that's a noble idea. The Adam and Eve story is a tale of discovery, and innocence lost. A painting of that scenario didn't have to be ridiculous, but this one was anyway.

The Actual Meaning:

First of all, the artist clearly put a lot of thought into what objects to use to cover everyone's genitalia, Austin Powers-style, then discarded those thoughts and said, "Screw it, I'll just put a damned tiger there. It'll be awesome." And you know what, it was.

Nathan Greene

We're beginning to suspect that Adam may have had a thing for cats.

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Then you realize that all of those animals are watching intently, waiting for these humans to get their bone on (also: note the phallic imagery of the giraffe's neck being erected into the sun).

The title (The Introduction) works in more than one sense, you see, because as you can see from his facial expression, Adam is clearly about to "introduce" something else into Eve after Jesus is done presenting them (we mean his tongue into her mouth, for smooching).

Of course, the big question is, what exactly is Jesus saying to Adam and Eve on this historic first meeting? Do they need instructions? Did he have to explain how foreplay worked? Would you be comfortable taking sex tips from Jesus? How are they supposed to be comfortable with their nudity when he's wearing a robe? Wait, this is the Old Testament, how is Jesus even there?