Boston, MA – After a devastating weeklong blizzard that left many Massachusetts residents without power, the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority has decided to terminate its employment with the city of Boston. Due to the intense difficulty brought about by shoveling the sidewalk and walking around with wet feet all day, the MBTA decided to move back in with its parents and, “Maybe go back to grad school at some point.”

In the last few years, Boston residents have suffered increasingly unreliable service and the occasional train car filled with smoke and fire, (which the MBTA was quoted as saying was, “Totally not that big of a deal.”) despite several costly fare hikes. When asked to comment about where, in fact, the money had gone, the T smugly replied, “I got wasted and lost it all at Foxwoods.”

The MBTA’s parents, Mr. and Mrs. Hindenburg, who will be housing the MBTA in the extra room above the garage, commented, “Hey, it could have been worse.”