CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

According to its owners and other acquaintances, a local cat has spent most of it’s spoilt life on its arse, and not doing any of the cool shit humans would do if they were cats.

3-year-old Fluffy has not once climbed to the top of a tree in the botanical gardens and very rarely struts along the top of the picket fences that surround her owner’s house.

In fact, as far as anyone knows, it hasn’t even caught a mouse or jumped onto the roof.

It’s owners don’t even know if, given the circumstance, it would be able to land on it’s feet from a height – as it has not yet been able to display any form of cat righting reflexes.

The cat righting reflex is a cat’s innate ability to orient itself as it falls in order to land on its feet. Cats are able to do this because they have an unusually flexible backbone and no functional clavicle. The righting reflex begins to appear at 3–4 weeks of age, and is perfected at 6–7 weeks – however, no one knows if Fluffy has ever had to utilise these naturally-gifted catlike abilities.

“She barely goes outside, and when he does it’s just so she can fuck up the garden” says owner, Sarah.

“She probably doesn’t even know how to eat things that aren’t mushed down with a fork”