For people early on in hua-t’ou meditation, answers will present themselves but these should all be rejected as any kind of final result, no matter how wise or compassionate they may seem. Acknowledge them as seeds of truth that will continue to germinate as you continue the practice. This often happens in the beginning because it seems natural or is easy to focus on the meaning or to want to know the meaning, that is, our intellect is the first tool we tackle the problem with. This reaction eventually stops. This is a desired state though not always so pleasant. When the answers stop appearing, the hua-t’ou may appear tasteless, flat and boring yet the Doubt has still not become alive. It is called “tasteless” because there is nothing for the discriminating mind to attach to.[ ] The focus should then become strictly on the word: the “Who?” or the “What?” The student however, must continue on despite the hua-t’ou appearing tasteless. Examining the hua-t’ou for meaning is sometimes referred to as the ”dead word,” as it is composed of conceptual understanding. When the hua-t’ou is being examined just as a word itself, it is referred to as the live word.“ The “live word“ is a weapon that can destroy the defects of conceptualization. Investigation of the word alone allows no intellectual understanding, so is more difficult.

This may be a good place to mention that as the mind quiets and wandering thoughts become fewer and those thoughts have less power to gain our attention, we are also losing the sense of the world and our place in that world that we create in our minds. That is, we construct the world with our thoughts and make our place in the world this way. I can think that I will meet my friend next week and run an errand later tonight and go to work in the morning and talk to my wife and so on. This is pretty normal and this is who we think we are. It is satisfying as it lets us know in a way who and what we are in the world. It is not however completely satisfying as we are still uncertain of our essential nature and often leaves us with a nagging feeling of uncertainty and doubt of who we really are. It is precisely this nagging undercurrent of doubt that is to be cultivated in the hua-t’ou method. Many people learn to cover over pretty well this nagging undercurrent of doubt by many means, even with meditation, but that is to be absolutely avoided. Again, it is this feeling of uncertainty, of not knowing with certainty who we really are that must be cultivated in the hua-t’ou method. It is necessary to make this “Who?” or “What?” into a living word, so that a small, often only an occasional nagging doubt becomes a living Great Doubt to destroy all our doubts.

As the mind quiets and wandering thoughts cease or lose their power to attract, this can be scary as one feels lost, even losing a sense of being a person. Depending on how strong a sense of self we have and how much and how quickly the hua-t’ou has become alive and thoughts have dropped away will determine how we react to this state. This happens at different places in the process with different people. With some people it happens very quickly, before the doubt has any real power. It seems these people become too rattled or unsettled, becoming psychologically troubled. The hua-tou may not be the best practice for these people. With others, it happens only well along in the process, but it is something that most, if not all, people will have to encounter. We enter a situation where the wandering thoughts have lost their power or have slowed almost completely, or have ceased. The hua-t’ou becomes alive and is going by itself, while the Doubt is rising quite spontaneously and quickly, but now we no longer have the mental markers mentioned above telling us of our place in the world. All the planning for tomorrow or thoughts about what we did last week, that is, our ordinary thinking processes that also gives us our mentally constructed sense of who we are, are gone. Our ordinary ideas of who and what we are no longer clearly present or they are there only in a very faint form. The mind of rational thought and of distinctions is no longer functioning. At the same time, the Doubt is alive and going by itself, often with much force. This can be very frightening indeed - the feeling being that we will just go ZAPP!, drop into a black hole and be no more, never to return. A great fear of falling into emptiness can arise with the feeling that we will just disappear. It is common I think for most people to stop the process at this point because they are scared. There are many ways to do this: just raising a thought of any kind or entertaining the idea that we are going to take a short break and will continue shortly, or laughing, or thinking some very compassionate or other elevated thought, or some thought of gratefulness towards someone or situation, or crying for whatever reason and so on. Often these thoughts will be or sound elevated or spiritual, but in the end their purpose is to stop the fear. Unfortunately it always works! That is, it brings back a sense of the self. However, it is rare that we will immediately be able to return to the concentrated state we were in when the fear got the best of us. The power and energy gained through continual and lively practice will be lost at this time.

However, going through this process a number of times, maybe many times, can make us more determined not to stop next time, more determined to get past the fright when it arises again, more frustrated or angry with ourselves for stopping short of realizing who we really are. We mustn’t give up or stop because of fear getting the best of us. To maintain the practice and to actually increase our determination in spite of stopping because of fear, I think is one of the reasons why it is so important to cultivate great faith. Great faith being belief in our original Buddha-nature, belief in the efficacy of the hua-t’ou method and belief in and confidence that we too can awaken to our nature.

On the other hand, it should be pointed out that we can be satisfied too easily. After gaining some power and sense of well being, we can become satisfied with ourself. We lose the drive, the vigor or need to really see who we are. Perhaps we lose the determination necessary to confront and once again go through the fear of falling into emptiness. It is similar to being satisfied with a car running on three cylinders when it really has six cylinders.

Another possibility is as the mind quiets and thoughts lose their power to attract and pretty much stop, then one can enter very pleasurable states, states of calm and a sense of purity, or slip into a state of stillness, peace with an accompanying sense of control. Though often we hear that in Buddhist meditation peaceful, still, and pleasurable states are desired, in the context of hua-t’ou practice we should not let ourselves be side-tracked by these satisfying states where the hua-t’ou is lost; be aware that these pleasures can be extremely enchanting and enjoyable. These pleasurable states and silent and peaceful states can be very captivating and in fact, be very difficult to leave once entered. Though these states show that the mind has settled and is stable, we must not forget that the hua-t’ou method is based on raising doubt. Resting in inviting or pure feeling states are not a condition of doubt, or useful for raising doubt. These states should be recognized as they arise, but not lingered in, because they are very seductive, but they do not allow for raising the doubt. Hence, it is best for these states to be avoided for one using the hua-t’ou method. However pleasurable and stable these conditions are, from the point of view of hua-t’ou practice, they are a waste of time.

In addition, since many practitioners are laypeople living active lives, there may be a desire to escape the daily pressures of worldly life and retreat into silence and stillness, really withdrawal from the world. But stillness that is the opposite of motion, quietness understood as the opposite of disturbance, is merely an illusion of quietness, it is not a truly peaceful mind. A practice seeking quietness is actually a form of attachment to the present moment and state of mind. This is sometimes referred to as entering the ghost cave. Ta-Hui, in a letter to a student, mentions that the problem with quiet sitting is not the practice itself, but that the stillness of mind may be taken for the ultimate Principle itself.[ ] Ta-Hui saw a retreat into silence and stillness as a particular problem for people busy and under pressure in the world. He feared that when they “obtain a state of having no trouble in their breasts, they grasp onto this state and think it is the highest final peace and joy…”[ ] In fact, I knew a man who had a demanding technical job in the computer field. He also had the ability to go into silent and still states for hours at a time. In a way that is similar to the situation that Ta-Hui warned about, this fellow wrongly insisted this was Zen enlightenment.

Another point worth mentioning here is that when doing hua-t’ou practice from moment to moment we do not know what will be next. I think it is important to be comfortable with that thought. When meditating, if things are not going well, or if we feel tired or agitated or whatever, we should not think this is a waste of time, maybe I’ll stop now and try again later or tomorrow. Just come back to the method, whatever the method. In a flash, that state can change. It is impossible to know what the next moment will be! We can begin being tired or foggy or agitated or feeling sick or ordinary and a moment later the mind we will be focused and clear and vice versa. In accepting that we do not know what the next moment will bring, we will feel less pressure to judge our meditation, we will get used to uncertainty which is an aspect of life, we will continue to stay with the hua-t’ou though there is no clear roadmap, and will to a degree short- circuit the logical problem solving mind.

Though we look at the “Who?” or “What?” with a questioning mind, we should also want to know - be determined to resolve the doubt raised by the hua-t’ou. Ta-Hui in fact reminded his students of their impending death and their not knowing who they are in order to make them feel the need to break through their hua-t’ou. It can, however, not be figured out by the rational mind – unlike knowing what X is in the equation XY + Y =124 if Y=6. As mentioned above, early in the process, seemingly rational answers will often appear, however, they must be rejected. Nevertheless, we must have faith that the hua-t’ou is a question that can be resolved and that it is important to solve it. We should think that it is the hua-t’ou that will answer us, not us answering it.[ ] There is really no secret trick to the practice. We just keep probing deeper and deeper, giving up “discussion and thought,” asking and asking and we will reach a place that Ta-Hui describes as a place “with no place to put one’s foot or hand.” He says, people “won’t believe that where there is no place to put one’s hands and feet is really a good situation.”[ ] We must keep probing , and should not be satisfied until the doubt grows into Great Doubt and that doubt consumes all of us, until there is nothing but Doubt. The faintest or subtlest clinging to a self must be dropped. Everything aside from Doubt must be dropped completely, totally abandoned. Ta-Hui says, ”all at once, annihilate every splendid thing.”[ ] If one can stay with this great Doubt, this all consuming Doubt, in time, in an instant it may finally break apart and collapse and open to the world of Zen.

Most importantly, we must put away any thought which waits for or anticipates awakening or a breakthrough to occur. All we need to do is keep coming back to the hua-t’ou. After all, any such thought that anticipates awakening is based on a thought of the self. If we hold onto a thought that waits for an awakening, that awakening will never come! We need to put down all thoughts, all logical discriminations, all thoughts of good and evil, love and hate, liking life and fearing death, all thoughts of “I” no matter how subtle that thought may be, of understanding, of views, and of knowledge, all pleasure in stillness or clinging to purity or turning away from disturbance. Absolutely everything must be put away until only doubt remains.

As was stated earlier, hua-t’ou practice is not only about seated meditation. We should keep or examine the doubt as much as is possible. But I would like to add a strong caveat, that is, as most people live in cities with cars and traffic and other elements that call for alertness, we also have to be sensible and responsible when practicing. This caveat cannot be stated too strongly. We should NOT investigate our hua-t’ou when driving a car or any vehicle, when walking in a busy traffic situation or when riding a bicycle or using a dangerous machine or anything similar to that. I know someone who did not take this caveat seriously and rode her bicycle into the side of a car while looking into her hua-t’ou. Luckily she did not get hurt too badly, but badly enough. In fact, this woman was lucky she did not get killed. Please, if we decide to do this practice, do it wisely.

Yes, as our environment allows it, we should keep investigating the hua-t’ou as constantly as our situation permits. I have found there is a certain power to the investigation when done during eating or going to the bathroom. I have also found it particularly fruitful is to keep investigating the hua-t’ou while lying in bed going to sleep - when having done this, it is not uncommon to wake in the morning with the hua-t’ou running in my mind. At times this has made me feel uneasy, to wake from sleep in a state of doubt with the hua-t’ou running on its own.