Editor's note: The Citizen-Times has chosen not to reveal the family's last name to protect their child's privacy

While it is a simple administrative policy, it's also a matter of protection — and even life and death — transgender advocates says.

About two dozen supporters of a rising first-grade transgender student attended Thursday's Buncombe County School Board meeting, calling for a system-wide policy that would extend anti-discrimination protections to transgender students.

But judging from comments by the school board chairwoman and the system's superintendent, it seems unlikely the Buncombe County School Board will create a new policy.

The saga of Emma, a transgender student who lives in Arden with her parents and brother, began last year when she enrolled in kindergarten at Glen Arden Elementary. She was enrolled as a boy named Colton, the name on her birth certificate, but the parents said they notified the school early on that their daughter was transgender.

The girl's parents, Amy and Kevin, went public earlier this year with their struggles to find support for their daughter, who at points during the last school year was denied access to the girls restroom and urinated on herself. She was also told by a teacher that she was a boy, not a girl.

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Emma had to switch classrooms a few months into the school year because her first kindergarten teacher refused to use her female name or female pronouns. While the school year ended more positively, the parents pushed for a policy change so all staff and teachers have guidelines to follow with transgender students.

"A child in a school following a policy would never be left to urinate on themselves due to the teacher being unclear about the superintendent's guidelines," Amy said to the board, pausing as she choked up. "Teachers at a school following policy would be competent and precise in handling this situation."

Amy asked that the board add to its agenda a policy providing training to everyone in contact with children, so they know it is unacceptable to argue with a child that is questioning their gender, or to belittle them for how they perceive themselves. Also, staff should never make a rule that applies only to a transgender student, such as a "no hugging" rule Amy said was imposed on Emma.

"All children are deserving of respect and the freedom to form their own unique individuality," Amy told the board. "We ask you not to wait any longer on forming a policy so that we no longer have to worry about our children going to school whole and coming home broken."

Several other supporters spoke about their own struggles with their transgender identity or that of their children, some of whom are students in Buncombe schools.

Tina Madison White, executive director of the Blue Ridge Pride Center, which advocates for the LGBTQ community, read a scathing entry from her childhood journal in which she castigated herself and suggested she should just "crawl into a hole and die."

For 50 years, White said, she "tortured" herself trying to conform, including membership in multiple churches, attending an all boys school, even marrying and fathering children. Nothing worked until she decided to accept who she truly was.

She too pushed the board to enact a formal policy.

"Absent a clear school policy, you effectively subject a transgender child to institutionalized bullying," White said. "We’ve all feared bullies in our lives. Bullies can arbitrarily control you. Without a consistent policy, anyone has the power to make a trans child's life a living hell, and we already have plenty of that."

Several speakers also cited statistics that show over 40 percent of transgender people have attempted suicide.

Change unlikely

While the board listened carefully, a new policy seems unlikely. Members did not respond to the speakers, but during a break both Board Chairwoman Ann Franklin and Superintendent Tony Baldwin said the current anti-bullying policy provides adequate protections.

Franklin, speaking for the entire seven-member board, said they are not considering a policy specifically addressing transgender students.

"I don’t believe that is something we want to do, because it’s our opinion and experience that if you do a policy that is pigeonholed for some it does not work well for the school," Franklin said. "We have procedures that are in place that we follow — not just for (one) child but any child in this situation — and it has worked well in the past, and I believe it will continue to do that."

Baldwin said he expects the board will discuss the issue, but he believes the current anti-bullying policy, which doesn’t reference any particular group, provides protection.

Buncombe County's school board doesn't have a policy specifically protecting transgender students or clarifying what bathrooms they can use. The system does have policies protecting students against discrimination, sexual harassment, violence and bullying.

"From my standpoint as superintendent, I feel very strongly that we deal individually with situations with the student and with the parents, and we’ve done this for a number of years," Baldwin said. "Transgender is not a new issue, and it's not new to Buncombe County Schools. As a (former) principal it’s not new to me."

The school system has a staff member who has been spearheading training for staff and working with parents on transgender sensitivity, Baldwin said. The anti-bullying policy encompasses all forms of discrimination, he said.

"I think it’s very clear — bullying of any type of wrong," Baldwin said. "That doesn’t mean that we can guarantee 100 percent that's it’s going to be the reality within a school building, but it is a guiding policy."

In 'the fight of their lives'

Emma's parents met with school officials earlier this summer, and they were assured that Emma will be treated as a girl this school year, and that teachers and staff are aware of the situation.

Emma's parents said last year their daughter twice had to walk through the school's halls with urine-soaked clothes because she was confused about which bathrooms she was allowed to use. In one case she was told to "hold it" because there was no unlocked, single-stall bathroom nearby, they say.

David Thompson, student services director for the district, said earlier this year that the school system strives to support and accommodate its transgender students by recognizing that each person is their own individual with unique needs.

LGBT advocates argue that not having a comprehensive policy puts transgender students at risk because there's no minimum standard of support, and too much decision-making is left to individual principals and their personal beliefs.

Angelina Cherry, a transgender student at Roberson High, told the board that she has to avoid certain areas of school because of harassment.

"A lot of times, people like me don’t have any kind of protections or rights," said Cherry, 16. "There’s nothing in higher levels protecting us."

She noted that the students all say the Pledge of Allegiance every morning, and it ends with, "...and liberty and justice and for all."

"When that is not applied to specific groups, that is a problem," Cherry said.

Susanne Tintinger, the mother of a transgender child, is also a former juvenile defense attorney and professor of juvenile law, as well as the daughter of a retired school superintendent. The transgender issue is not about bathrooms, Tintinger said, rather it's about positive family and community support, as well as a welcoming school environment for all students.

A formal policy would let transgender students know without doubt they have the support of their schools and administrators, Tintinger said. She too cited the statistic that 40-plus percent of transgender adults have reported making a suicide attempt, noting the adolescent years are particularly rough.

"Parents of transgenders, we're in the fight of our lives," Tintinger said.