I’m not the smartest guy on the block. In high school I scored “See me” on the math Regents.

Still, if I were Commissioner of Major League Baseball, I would look at where the teams play to notice a bunch located in generally warm climates: Two in Texas, two in Florida, two in Southern California, one in Atlanta, one in Arizona.

Then I would look to find that seven teams play in either domed stadia or in ballparks with retractable roofs: Milwaukee, Arizona, Toronto, Seattle, Houston, Miami and Tampa Bay.

And then I would reach a radical conclusion: Schedule early April games in these cities or ballparks. Sure, it’s an extreme departure from the norm, but schedule with the good of the players, the fans and the quality of The Game in mind.

The Yankees — having completed an ill-attended, arctic three-game series against Houston, in New York — on Sunday, as a matter of MLB’s addiction and abdication to TV money, plays in Detroit and for ESPN.

The forecast is fairly standard for early April nighttime Detroit weather: 39 degrees, 18 mph winds making it feel colder, and a 90 percent chance of rain.

Forget it, though. The folks who run MLB must know what they’re doing, right?

There must be good, common-sense reasons to have played games last week and to be playing them this week — mostly at night — outdoors in New York, Boston, Pittsburgh, Philadelphia, Minnesota, Colorado, Cincinnati and along the Great Lakes in Cleveland, Chicago and Detroit.

There must be good reasons for this, good reasons why the Yanks on Saturday played the Tigers in an under-populated ballpark with 30-degree temperatures, a wind-chill of 20 and snow flurries. If only MLB would share those reasons with us.

And it’s not as if Rob Manfred, and Bud Selig, before him, wouldn’t normally gather the family, grab the ice-scraper and head out to a ballgame that starts at 8:10 on a Sunday night in Detroit in early April.

Even if it might be too late, too cold and too wet for even Adam LaRoche’s kid.

But if it’s good enough for the commissioners — if all this makes good sense and good baseball to them — it’s plenty good enough for us.

‘Changed-man’ campaigns require skepticism

Trying to grasp Adam Schefter’s ESPN exclusive sitdown with Greg Hardy is like trying to catch minnows with our hands.

If we weigh Hardy’s answers and explanations, we’re left with this: He didn’t do it, and he never will do it again.

Not only did Schefter conclude he believes Hardy to be a changed man despite his conviction for beating and choking his ex-girlfriend, who claimed she was thrown on a couch covered with loaded assault rifles, Hardy claimed he was framed. So then exactly what did he have to change from?

Such hopeful conclusion interviews have become tiresome. They carry the stink of look-who-we-got, quid pro quos pandering. Adam “Pacman” Jones went on two “I’m-a-changed-man” media campaigns, only to prove he is the same creep.

Last week, as if lifting from Cris Carter’s seminar advice to NFL rookies to find a pal to take the rap for them when they’re arrested — Carter remains with ESPN — it was revealed a pal of Jets receiver and “Inside the NFL” TV co-star Brandon Marshall in February texted Marshall: He would take the rap for Marshall’s 2012 alleged assault of a woman outside a nightclub.

Marshall, a talented but recidivist me-firster with an arrest record that began in college and includes domestic violence charges, first made himself expendable to Denver, then Miami, before landing with Chicago, from where he went on an extended “I’m-a-changed-man” campaign.

Is Marshall a changed man? I hope so, but I don’t know. Maybe Schefter knows. He seems to regard himself something of a faith healer — “One exclusive chat with me is all it takes!” — or a candidate for the parole board.

Never grant anyone wish-based certification as a changed man based on sincere looks and sounds, especially when that changed man doesn’t think he did anything all that wrong in the first place.

The only changed-man claim I would gamble on is Bruce Jenner’s.

Protect yourself at all times especially from professional embarrassment. It’s OK for people who don’t know — and can’t possibly know — to reach this conclusion: I don’t know.

Call me a party pooper; I don’t care. Crazy is crazy.

The Mets’ home opener pregame ceremonies Friday included four NYPD helicopters flying over a packed stadium in windy weather.

That’s crazy. It’s not as if anyone never before had seen a helicopter. So why the unnecessary risk, at whose cost and why four helicopters?

It brought to mind the 2008 outdoor NHL game, Pittsburgh at Buffalo, when military jets flew over 71,000 people. The aircraft barely were visible as they flew over in a snowstorm!

Can’t give soccer credit

A survey conducted by WalletHub.com concluded that among fans of baseball, basketball, football, hockey and soccer, soccer fans have the worst credit rating, hockey fans the best.

In other words, never sell a soccer fan a Zamboni on installments; get all the money up front.

Two new, good-read New York baseball books — fun and educational! — from crafty write-handers:

“Kings of Queens,” about the ’86 Mets by Erik Sherman. Manager Davey Johnson claims the infamous players-gone-wild flight back from Houston after winning the NL pennant was caused more by players’ wives than the players.

“Down on the Korner” is about Ralph Kiner and the Mets’ adventure-filled “Kiner’s Korner” Ch. 9 postgame show, authored by sports radio host Mark Rosenman and local MLB official scorer Howie Karpin. “That’s what makes baseball,” said Kiner, “you never know what’s going on.”

Perhaps the most surprising occurrence of last week was the MLB/Yankees unusually fan-friendly decision to postpone Monday’s Yankee Stadium opener at about 9 a.m.

Such weather-conscious announcements generally are made after people have arrived, paid for parking, entered the ballpark and started spending.

Speeding up the game: In the bottom of the eighth in Detroit on Friday, 4-0, Tigers over Yankees, the game was stopped for three minutes for a replay challenge that reversed an out call based on nothing more definitive than perhaps, a second opinion that overruled a first opinion.

And as YES’ Michael Kay noted — and as so often seen in football — two different angles showed two different things to support either conclusion.

Lookalikes, submitted by Joe Magnetico: Comedic actor Ty Burrell, who plays Phil Dunphy on ABC’s “Modern Family,” and Villanova coach Jay Wright.