Any day now, the Supreme Court is going to come back with a ruling on gay marriage in the US. I’ve read that about 60+% of Americans say that they are in ready for gay marriage to be legal. For the other 40%, this message is for you…

You may be wondering why we feel it’s important to allow us to marry. Truth be told, if you had asked me 20 years ago whether I thought gays would ever be able to marry, I probably would have scoffed at the idea, because you might as well be asking if it was feasible to strap a mosquito onto pencil sized rocket ship, ship it off to Mars and have it return alive a day or so later. That’s about how far-fetched an idea it was to me at the time. Marriage was like a country club – it looked wonderful from outside the gates, but I never had any reasonable expectation of access onto those grounds – not financially and certainly not socially. But the times they certainly are a changin’…

5 years ago, my partner and I stood in a park in Decatur, Georgia on a beautiful spring day. We spoke our vows out loud, sending them out into the universe, hoping they would “stick” somewhere out there. The words meant everything in the world to us, but they mean nothing to the State of Georgia. Nothing.

If you are in the “other 40%” category and you are married, I want to ask you to do something for me. Close your eyes, and remember your wedding day. Remember the pomp and the circumstance, remember the support and love from those in attendance. Remember that when you compiled the guest list, you didn’t have to consider whether to invite this person or that person because they may not approve of your same sex lifestyle. Remember that when you said your vows and it was all over, you were recognized by everyone on the planet as a married couple, with all of the rights and entitlements that marriage allows. And then imagine that you spoke those words again, but this time it was all for naught from a recognition standpoint. Nothing.

Now, don’t get me wrong – Nancy and I don’t need that legal recognition to love each other and to understand what it means to be married (in fact, I’d argue that we understand it a lot better than some of the 40%). But we want it. We want the legal commitment to love and honor each other, in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. And for the life of me, I cannot understand why people are fighting so hard against LOVE. The world these days is a dark and scary place. Hate is everywhere. People are arguing that gay marriage is destroying our country’s moral fiber while at the same time fighting way too hard to be able to carry assault rifles into their local Chucky Cheese. They are fighting for the legal rights to discriminate against anyone who infringes upon their religious beliefs. They are fighting, and fighting, and fighting…pick a topic – I’m sure someone out there can find a reason to hate and a reason to fight.

And yet we are fighting too, but in our case, we are simply fighting for love – the right to love the person on this planet that makes us feel whole. We’re not asking for anything more than what you already have – nothing more, nothing less. We want our vows to be more than just spoken – we want them to be heard and recognized, just like yours. So whatever happens in the court this month, we will all continue to love each other, just like we have been doing all along. Will our lives be happier and more fulfilled if we get the opportunity to partake in the legal covenant of marriage? Probably not. A marriage requires two people committed to love and respect, regardless of whether there is a document sanctioning the union. And if a couple doesn’t have that, then the marriage license isn’t going to help them very much. But, what it will do is provide us with the legal rights entitled to spouses – the rights to healthcare and death benefits and the ability to make decisions for each other if one partner is incapacitated. It will provide us with financial benefits, like Social Security. All the same rights that you enjoy. The right to love and to be loved. Nothing more, nothing less.