Women consistently have a hard time understanding why men do not share their visions of a fancy wedding day... why men really are not eager or looking forward to marriage at all. Never fear, I'm here to give you the pain and angst of the truth, which many women will respond to with "you're a man child" or "but true love!"

1. We don't need it

See, eons ago back in the days where women were bought and sold as slaves, or so I'm told, marriage was nearly mandatory for men. It was socially expected in work and regular life. It was culture. It was almost mandatory that if you wanted to have sex, a man would have to make a lifelong, serious legal commitment to protect and provide for a woman. Nowadays, with the average age of marriage is pushed to 29 for men and 27 for women, it's quite normal to be middle aged and never be married. Gone are the days were a man was 23 years old, married, and had kids. Besides, who wants to put women in such slavery? They have to do that study abroad and get that masters degree and "find themselves." In a cubicle 9-5am.

2. What are you selling?

In order to carry out a deal/transaction/contract, both sides must gain something and both must lose something. For instance, the Merchant will take your money, and he will lose the items you bought. Marriage primarily was a similar deal. Women would agree to be faithful and loyal and yes, obey, one man. In return, she could expect his faithfulness, that he would provide for her financially and her children, and protect her and be there for her. People talk about unpaid cooks and unpaid caretaker for the child, when referencing how much a stay at home mom would cost?

How much would it cost to get a bodyguard who will risk his neck to keep your butt safe... and gives you his money?

Thing is, men got something out of the bargain too. Men were legally vowing to protect and provide for a woman and be faithful to just one woman, but they also could expect that as long as they were decent men, they were basically guaranteed sex, a companion, and a family if the two of them had children.

Nowadays, no. We look around at our married friends or the married older people we know and we hear stuff like.

Instead we keep hearing idiocy like "you need to court your wife" and such from church pulpits, if we go. Thing is... if marriage doesn't even guarantee sex... and you need to keep gaming and seducing and charming your wife as we hear people say, what's the point? No real difference between dating and marriage, except if a girl dumps you, you're dumped. If a girl divorces you, it's a bit worse. And your stuff is suddenly on the line.

I was in a Family Law class for paralegals at Kennesaw State University, hearing from John Gunn of the Gunn Firm. https://www.thegunnfirm.com/ He was talking about the vital importance of being polite and courteous during divorce, and recounted a divorce case where he represented a woman who cheated on her husband, then gave hubby herpes, then divorced him... and came out ahead in division of assets because the husband was a jerk during the case. Apparently your spouse giving you an incurable STD makes you upset.

3. What there is to be gotten is free, and be willing to commit buys you little

Let's be real. We all want the best we can get for the least cost. That's why we pirate movies instead of paying a ridiculous $20 for a copy at Target or Wal-Mart. Firstly--here's divorce rates in the USA.

Despite the cliche of "he traded in his 40 year old wife for two 20 year olds" the age of divorce plummets as a woman ages instead of increasing. Some people say "well wait to marry until you're older" I say the hell with that. Even the Bible references "take joy in the wife of your youth." Who wants to marry and commit to some 29, 30 year old woman who has been with 15 men? If I commit, I want to do it as young as possible to a woman as young as possible. We'll make that history together, not pondering past lovers. (And yes. My readers will be stunned to know it, but I actually have always dated with the goal of a serious relationship, not a hookup.)

Back on point. Simple thing is, what men get out of marriage--sex, kids, loyalty--isn't guaranteed. Go to church and listen to wives bitch about their no good husbands. See, if you want loyalty, or sex, men quickly realize that being willing to provide and commit isn't helping. You need game/charisma/to be attractive. If you've got that, you'll get it. If not, you won't.

What does that boil down to? If you are talented enough to pirated HD movies, why pay for it?



Or simply put, if you're talented enough to have a successful, happy relationship with an attractive woman... why get yourself in a legal contract like marriage? Especially when it gives you nothing. Nothing. If a woman loves you and is attracted to you, she will be with you. If she's not, she will dump your ass without a second thought, whether there's a ring involved or not.

A woman who loses attraction for you will become as cold as if she never met you.

Men, please remember that. If a woman is attracted to you, she will be amazingly loyal, and put up with more than she should have to. If she loses that attraction, you may as well be trying to set fire to the rain. Rings and loyalty have nothing to do with it. Attraction is all that matters.

Women, now you can understand why men today have almost zero interest in marriage. Why? They get nothing out of it that they wouldn't have gotten for free if they were attractive enough to get it in the first place. You want a legal commitment, a sell--but you offer nothing but added risk. The benefits a man formally sacrificed and committed for are given away for free, and committing offers no guarantee at all of anything.