Let’s get real about “online debates” – oftentimes, these are fights, not debates.

So what’s the difference? And what’s the danger of getting sucked into these fights?

This comic shows the impact, and why we’re better off not putting up with it. But if you’ve still got a message you want to get across online, don’t worry – there are ways to have actual conversations without all the harm of online fighting.

With Love,

The Editors at Everyday Feminism

Click for the Transcript Title: DON’T! Panel 1 A genderqueer cartoonist with red hair named Justin speaks. Justin: I keep hearing the term “online debate.” Panel 2 Justin’s expression becomes blunt. They speak very frankly. Justin: But let’s be honest. It’s not a debate. It’s a fight. Panel 3 Justin’s eyes widen. Their expression becomes quite serious. Justin: It’s trauma! Text: You know how it is. Panel 4 A black cisgender woman is using a desktop computer and looks vaguely distressed. Text: You’re online, everything is fine, and suddenly, a “debate” breaks out. Panel 5 Images of a donkey and elephant, a set of scales, and the likeness of the Ghostbusters logo float in space. Text: Could be politics, philosophy, pop culture… Panel 6 The black woman is now hunched over her computer with an obsessed look, as she prepares herself for battle. Text: All you know is… Woman: “These people gotta learn!” Text: These “debates” can be rewarding. Panel 7 An Asian American genderqueer person named Sunny looks pleased at their smartphone as they read a comment. Text: You might get welcomed, or thanked. Smartphone: “Thank you so much for saying that. I have faith in people again!” Panel 8 A British Latino questioning man named Tycho beams happily at his screen as his desktop computer speaks a comment he’s reading. Text: Maybe you really do make a difference. Laptop: “Never thought about it like that. Ordered that book you suggested.” Panel 9 A black wheelchair-bound queer cis man scans his tablet with a slight smirk. He has cerebral palsy. Text: Sometimes people even apologize! Tablet: “I’m sorry. I was out of line.” Text: Most of the time? It’s terrible! Panel 10 Justin’s head pokes out of a circle in the page, looking down uncomfortably at a long list of checkboxes that mark emotional responses to online debates. Justin: “How many of these are true for you?” Text/Chart: When I’m debating, I: Get upset when things aren’t going well

Can’t let go until I’ve had the last word

Neglect other responsibilities/plans

Feel involved in a personal way

Feel my intellect is on trial

Sometimes rely on insults, sarcasm, humiliation/shaming

Feel negative even after the debate ends

Get frustrated when people don’t understand my intensity/passion

Sometimes lash out at friends/family offline

Feel hopeless, as though humanity is doomed

Get so angry I have to be told to calm down

Can feel like my day has been ruined even if it was a good day

Have been subject to low blows (slurs, threats, abusive language)

Feel relief when others back me up, but feel alone if nobody does

Feel like I’m being ganged up on

Feel as though I’m being forced to defend myself

Say/write things I regret soon after

Feel it’s my duty to engage even though I’m not being paid Text: Here’s why it’s a fight, and not a debate. Panel 11 A gavel cracks down as though a judge presides over the rhetorical debate. Text: In real debates, facts are essential, and there are penalties for breaking the rules… Panel 12 Two cisgender white men hold back a man dressed in business casual attire who’s red in the face and screaming in fury. Text: …or when people who cross a line! Panel 13 An hourglass floats in space. It’s running out of sand. Text: Real debates get timed. Panel 14 Three judges stand looking thoughtful and experienced. Text: Judges, moderators, or the audience determine the winner. Text: Online? there are no rules! Panel 15 A black trans woman looks overwhelmed. Behind her, the background is composed entirely of a long-winded comment that goes on and on. Text: There’s no character limit. Woman: “I’m supposed to read this?” Panel 16 The silhouette of an anonymous person sits at a computer with a malicious grin as they type out an abusive comment. Text: Facts take a backseat to opinion, and no technique is too juvenile. Person: “LOL wooooooow. When was the last time you got laid?” Panel 17 The black trans woman looks appalled as her computer appears to scream an abusive comments (the word slurs implies the very worst insults). Text: No attack is too vulgar. Panel 18 The black trans woman then puts her hands on her face with boggling eyes as she reads an even worse comment to her. Text: Even death threats are common. Computer: “I know where you live, and I’m coming for you and your family.” Text: How do we put up with this? Don’t. Panel 19 Reader sees what looks like a Facebook post reading “Study Proves All Mexicans Are Criminals” Text: These days, when I feel a need to express dissent? Justin: “…the hell?” Panel 20 Justin looks like their concentrating as they type something on their computer. Text: I don’t leave comments. Panel 21 A view of Justin’s screen reveals that while they are reposting something, they’re adding their own two cents instead of simply leaving a comment on the post they first saw. Text: I attach my thoughts in original posts so nobody feels attacked. Original Post: Hey everyone, just wanted to point out that bogus “studies” like these are super racist – attached are links to actual crime statistics. Text: Pro tip: Take screen shots of shitty content instead of reposting it! Panel 22 Justin grins satisfyingly as they press a single button, which deletes a commenter in mid-sentence. Text: I control my post. If people want to fight? Computer: “Are you serious? Mexicans are—” Delete! Text: They don’t get the chance! Text: It’s my post, so I get to demand respect! Panel 23 Justin looks of to their side as they are approached by another silhouette. The silhouette’s posture is calm. Text: If people are willing to be civil? Silhouette: “I’d like to gently challenge you if that’s okay…” Panel 24 Justin engages the silhouette and talks to them as one would with a colleague or friend. Text: Well? Then it’s a conversation, not a fight! Justin: “I totally see where you’re coming from. My point is…” Panel 25 Justin calmly explains boundaries with the silhouette, so as not to accidentally offend. Text: If they’re respectful, I’ll even warn them if I’m unwilling to continue. Justin: “For my safety and your safety, I’m disengaging. I’ll be deleting all responses after this. Here are forums/resources you can consult if you want to keep going.” Silhouette: “Okay, I understand.” Text: Despite everything, the Internet is still in its infancy. Panel 26 Two people sit near a computer, a cisgender girl from India and a cisgender Latino boy from Queens. The girl objects to a comment made online. The Latino boy looks to the Indian girl with doubt and defends the commenter. Text: How do we teach right and wrong if we’re tolerant of bullying? Girl: “Ableism isn’t funny. She’s better than this!” Boy: “Who cares? She’s just trolling!” Panel 27 A fat cisgender Black woman types on her computer, looking contemplative. Opposite her, a second cisgender white woman chimes in her contrary opinion. Text: How can we create healthy boundaries if we don’t protect them? Woman 1: “Slavery was wrong. Period. It’s not up for debate.” Woman 2: “Slavery is complex. We can’t judge what was…” Text: Let’s stop indulging bad behavior. Panel 28 Two black cisgender women are laughing as they hug one another. Text: There’s friends to be making! Panel 29 A white trans man sits pensively over a calendar they’re marking up with to-do items/agendas. Text: Plans to put in action! Panel 30 A trans woman using a wheelchair sits and enjoys what appears to be a beautiful sunset. Text: Life to be enjoying! Panel 31 A chisel rests next to a block of marble, chips are laid out each reading something like podcast, article, documentary, short video, poem etc Text: In the end? It’s the collective accumulation of informative content that educates people. Panel 32 Boxing gloves rest lifelessly on the floor littered with broken glass. Text: Not a fight. Panel 33 Our Black trans woman heroine from before is typing again on her computer, looking calm, collected, and confident. Text: Say what you have to say and move forward. Panel 34 She then closes her laptop with a single finger, smiling to herself. Text: But don’t put up with abuse. Woman: Not today! Text: Don’t!

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Justin Hubbell is a Contributing Comic Artist for Everyday Feminism. A trans genderqueer “comictivist” from upstate New York, they create comics that unpack social justice issues through personal reflection and sharing. Their work can be seen at justinhubbell.com. Please consider supporting them on Patreon! Check out their comics here.