Look. We know you’re tired of playing bot lane.





Whether you’re an AD Carry who can’t seem to find success on even the most meta of marksmen (god, don’t those autofilled supports suck?) or a support who has a bot for a lane partner (those stupid ADCs never learn, do they?), boy do we have the solution for you.





Uninstall League you trash inters and stop ruining my games Play Sona and Taric in the bot lane!





You might be asking yourself, “What the hell is this guy smoking?” And to that I say: every enemy bot lane in the game. Just ask FlyQuest’s Jason “WildTurtle” Tran and Juan “JayJ” Guibert or TSM’s Jesper “Zven” Svenningsen and Andy “Smoothie” Ta. They got hella smoked during the semifinals of the NA LCS.





Besides, if you need any other motivation to one-trick Sona, remember that if you too can master Sona, you might be picked up on a team in the LCS, the League of Challenged* Sonas (Is that right? That doesn’t seem right).





*I’ve been informed by my editor this should say Challenger? Weird.





Forget Lulu. Ditch Jinx. Caitlin? Never heard of her. Instalock that Sona-Taric bot lane, and laugh as you drown in LP.





Why it works





Image via Riot Games





Sona’s, shall we say, personality, will distract your opponents and make it impossible for them to react as Taric bashes them over the head repeatedly with his mallet.





That’s it. That’s the strat. We’re done here, everyone, so go into your solo queue games and get grinding. The first split of the ranked season ends in two weeks, so hurry up if you want to get your hardstuck Iron ass to Gold.





Why it actually works





Image via Riot Games





Sona and Taric are one of the most annoying lanes in the game, because it’s damn near impossible to kill them. If you draft a poke lane (with, say, Ezreal and Zyra), Taric’s shield along with both Sona’s and Taric’s heals will make it impossible for any of your damage to stick. If you draft for the all-in, you’ll get ganked because you’re always pushed up so far, and it’s extremely hard to dive Taric due to his shield and stun, allowing the duo to easily disengage.





After you get out of laning phase, the game just gets worse. Sona and Taric can keep the wave perma-pushed, and the two are the epitome of anti-engage. If you can’t burst down one of the other instantly, Taric will press his ultimate, their entire team will be unkillable, and they’ll heal your damage right back up.













Look how difficult it is for FlyQuest to engage on Yiliang “Doublelift” Peng and Jo "CoreJJ" Yong-in despite how out of position they are. Taric presses one button, and boom. The entire engage is dead, and FlyQuest have to back off.

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Let’s say you try to run a 1-3-1 splitpush composition instead, since you know you won’t beat the enemy Sona and Taric in a straight 5v5 teamfight. While your splitpushers are likely going to go uncontested, the three champions stuck in the mid lane trying to waveclear will know a different kind of hell. They’ll be constantly engaged on with Sona and Taric alone, that’s two stuns and a movement speed buff that’s difficult to disengage from, not to mention any other engage they might have from other team members. It’s nearly impossible for your three-man mid to hold versus that kind of engage potential, and basic math dictates that five champions in one lane will push much faster than two individual splitpushers.





Beating the unbeatable





Image via Riot Games





Poke’s out. Throw the splitpushers in the trash. So how do you beat this combination? Put on your scuba gear and dive.













Watch how Doublelift is instantly deleted in this fight. There’s no time for the Taric ultimate to save him, and he can’t heal himself back up in that time. Once he’s dead, the whole composition from Liquid lacks both damage and safety, so it’s relatively easy for FlyQuest to clean them up.





Sona takes time to heal up her team, and Taric’s ultimate has a delay before it’s finally cast. If you can dive on them and blow up either Sona or Taric (or, even better, both!), the enemy team composition will fall apart. Since no marksman is run in the bottom lane, that kind of team composition has less sustained damage than you would expect and mostly relies on outsurviving opponents in fights.





Even a dive composition has its risks, however. Since both Sona and Taric start with support items, there will be double the wards on the map, so it’ll be difficult to find a good flank, and Sona will just haste her team and run if you try to run headfirst at them. Beating the Sona Taric combo requires a level of coordination rarely seen by solo queue players, making it especially terrifying.





If you’re looking to end things in lane, draft for an all-in duo that can focus down Sona quickly. She has low base health, especially in the early levels, and full AP Sona can be easily bursted before she gets her items. Someone like Blitzcrank or Alistar who can separate Sona from Taric and allow their AD Carry to quickly murder her will give you a chance to win the lane. After level six, however, their 2v2 potential becomes much stronger, so if you want to abuse Sona and Taric, you need to do it early.





Alternatively, ban Taric! No other support can provide Sona with the safety Taric does, and the whole composition will fall apart afterward.





Climbing with Sona and Taric





Image via Riot Games





The first step (and the most important) is to find someone to queue bot with you. Preferably, this person is like you and also doesn’t have a soul, because it’ll make you feel much better about forcing them to play this disgusting duo with you.





For runes, run Kleptomancy on Sona and Guardian on Taric, with Sona running Teleport and Taric running heal. Start Spellthief’s Edge on Sona and Relic Shield on Taric for gold income. Early on in the lane, Taric will be the one farming, while Sona should be poking the enemy as much as possible to gain gold and complete her quest. However, Taric should always be sure to save one stack of his Relic Shield for cannon waves and share the cannon gold, so don’t feel pressured to last-hit every creep (I know ADCs struggle with this anyway, so it’s a win-win!).





Once you have enough gold for the Frostfang upgrade, Sona can (and should) recall and Teleport back to lane to ensure she finishes her quest as soon as possible. After it’s completed, Sona can begin farming while still donating the occasional minion to Taric so he can get stacks and complete his own quest.





Afterward, Sona builds full AP. While this may seem counterintuitive, build an Archangel’s Staff as your second item after your Frostfang, since the mana the item gives allows you to spam spells in the mid game and keep your team topped off. In addition, once the item upgrades into Seraph’s Embrace, the shield gives you so much more survivability for you to abuse. From here it doesn’t particularly matter what you build, so build AP items given the situation: Rabadon’s Deathcap, Zhonya’s Hourglass, Morellonomicon, Void Staff, you name it. Sorcerer’s Shoes are the preferred boots upgrade.





Unlike his lane partner, Taric builds like an extra tank. Since he’s able to farm early, Taric actually has gold income (How far we’ve come from Philosopher’s Stone and a million wards) and can build items typically deemed too greedy for supports like Frozen Heart and Abyssal Mask. Like Sona, build items relevant to your situation.





Now that you know how to play the most evil lane in the game, go forth into solo queue and lock in your Sona and Taric bot lanes, and laugh as you watch the world burn. Afterward, consider going to therapy, because anyone who trades their basic human dignity for a few points of LP has issues. And no, I’m not going to show you my OP.gg.