UKRAINIAN stereotypes are to be launched this week, say leading xenophobes.

Journalist Tom Logan said: “With the situation there moving so quickly, I’m working around the clock to construct a racist interpretation of the typical Ukrainian who will be flooding these shores.

“According to Google they look quite like us. But do they wear furry hats? Because that would be helpful for singling-out purposes.

“I can however confirm that their flag looks like a ZX Spectrum loading screen.”

38-year-old racist Nikki Hollis said: “Don’t buy that stuff about free and fair elections, they just want a council flat in Hull with taxpayer-funded Sky telly.

“I only heard of the Ukraine last week but I can hate any nationality pretty much from a standing start, it’s one of my strengths.”