Decibel Magazine has miraculously erased three decades worth of credibility by posting the most embarrassingly tearful editorial that metal journalism has ever seen. It is impossible to read damn the thing without formulating the mental picture of a balding, big breasted obese man in his 40s watching CNN with his even more obese tattooed wife as both cry their eyes out at the far-left propaganda being spewed out at them.

In an effort to praise March for Life, the left wing megadonor funded use of children as puppets to advance their political agenda. In the article, author Justin Norton makes a pseudo-apology for Decibel’s long history of covering music that worships and glorifies murder and death and tries to publicly convince himself that it’s not producing a violent, hate-filled society.

But Norton, the cold and cruel reality is that hundreds of children have murdered other children under the influence of death and black metal. So if you and the other midlife crisis Decibel editors really care about the kids, why do you keep promoting mudic that causes them to go killing each other? Why not resign as metal journalists and mercifully close Decibel Magazine for good, making a real difference that this useless march will never make?

The truth is, this was never about children. This is about the parents of children being radicalized by far left mainstream media and willingly using children as political human shields to deflect against rational arguments against gun control. By masquerading their kids around as protesters and dumping their fears about gun violence onto their kids, they are positioning themselves on perceived moral high ground where they can claim that anyone who disagrees with them hates kids and doesn’t care about them. Norton himself parrots this extreme left talking point:

No sensible person will disagree with this. The only people who do are scared, afraid of losing money and power, or all of the above.

Pretty hypocritical for someone who is terrified of “the person in the white house” and afraid that his dumbass mutant kids are gonna get blowed up. No, Justin, we’re not afraid of losing money or power, we’re afraid of emotionally unstable boomers like you surrendering our freedom and rights as Americans. An armed, militia forming citizen population exists as a check to keep a tyrannical ruling party from seizing control of our nation. This check must include machine guns, as we need to be able fight back in case our deep state or some other sick entity tries to pull a power grab like the one we saw in Venezuela.

It’s embarrassing to see dying extreme metal outlets lock and step with pop culture mainstream media talking points in a desperate attempt to both save their journalism careers and keep their opinions relevant. Decibel’s motto is “extremely extreme” but are directly contradicting it by being sensitive and trendy. The entire publication has become nothing more than midlife crisis meltdowns disguised as attempts to convice readers that surrendering our God given American rights is metal.

Ultimately, Norton’s argument is defeated by his own loony liberal logic: if the NRA are killers are responsible for the deaths of children killed by guns because they’re putting their own interests first, then Decibel are equally responsible for the deaths of children killed by death metal fans for putting their own interest firsts. If we have to blame guns for child murders instead of failed parenting and social values, we have to blame death metal and its journalists for death metal inspired killings. But since Decibel’s own editorial staff is committed to hiding from reality, they will never end up confronting the ugly truths of their own accountability.

Guns are metal. If you join this shit march today, you’re a trendy mainstream poser and a pussy. If you’re at Barnes and Noble and you’re thinking about picking up a shit stained copy of Decibel magazine for $5, you’re a trendy mainstream poser and a pussy. Boycott mid life crisis metal journalism and get this soy the fuck out of metal.

Tags: beta-male journalism, CNN, death, death metal, Decibel Magazine, gun control, gun grab, guns, mainstream, March for Life, metal, metal journalism, midlife crisis, murder, posers, social justice warriors, soyboys