If you have any connection with any type of social media in the last couple of years then you probably would have noticed memes that include a yelling woman and a confused cat. I used to think why this meme got so popular, is there something special in it? Then I got the answer, it was right in front of my eyes. The woman here is most probably a feminist borderline and the cat represents common average beta males nowadays. We all have been through this type of situation in our life. In fact, the cat showed here probably more logical, responsible than average so-called modern women nowadays. I am from Bangladesh and scenarios here aren’t much different from western countries when we talk about feminism and women’s entitlement. Millennial women here are feminists by default and they are raising their boys as simps. Here I am translating a feminist mother daily experience on how she is raising his 3 years old son.

Disclaimer: You might feel sick to the stomach so what I suggest is take some anti-emetic medications before reading it.

TITLE: HOW I AM RAISING MY SON AS A HUMAN RATHER THAN A MAN by Seikh Sirjum Munira Nira

When I first came to know that I am pregnant with a male child since then I was having many questions, curiosities and fear in my mind. Because, we were just two sisters and that’s why I had no idea how a male child grows up, how they think.

Then I start to notice carefully the behaviour of the male teenagers around me. By that I mean how they speak, walk, talks, smiles and communicate with others. You won’t believe, I noticed such masculinity in them that made me so scared. I asked myself that society presents so many advantages to men and in the midst of that would I be able to raise my son as a human?

From the very beginning, we wanted to raise our son as human. But, in Bangladesh, it won’t be an easy task, soon I came to realise that. For example, my son has fair complexion due to his genetics, we have nothing to do in this matter. But since his 1 month of age, I had to tolerate words like this ” Nira, your son has bright complexion so your daughter in law would be of dark complexion .”I replied, “If my son does not consider complexion in selecting his life partner then I would be happy .” Now my son is 3 years old. I buy him dresses of all colours like pink,red, orange, violet rather I try not to buy anything blue. Because, I do not want to establish blue as a colour of men in his life.

Most of the toys my son got are gifts. As he is a boy, no one buys him crockery toys. But I have brought him a fine set of pink crockery toys. He plays with his crockery toys, even pretends to cook and we encourage him by taking part in this play.

One day my son would go out of home for job purpose or for studying. He might have a life partner who would work outside. She shouldn’t cook alone. They will cook together, my son would make breakfast for his wife, surprise her by baking a cake, I dream of such things.

Every afternoon, a housekeeper comes to our home to cook. My soon helps her in making bread. I encourage him and I want him to learn it. Because, I don,t know how to make bread properly. At least, I can eat bread made by my son.

My mom becomes annoyed by these things. She never let me do any work outside the study. I learned how to make tea only after I finished school. Now if someone tells me to become very organised suddenly, that is not possible. That is why I am teaching my son how to be very organised at a very young age.

You might think Uzan’s (my son ) characteristics is becoming like that of a girl’s gradually. In reply I say, if someone performs household chores, he doesn’t become a woman. Since men women both stay in a home so everyone should work.

We discourage Uzan in fights. Even we haven’t let him play with any gun yet. Yes, if he joins the police or military one day then he would learn to fire a weapon by training. I thought, if he plays with guns then he might become interested in violence. But it is a matter of regret that he can recognise a gun by watching tv and cartoons. Now he sometimes fires with his own hands and then we try to persuade him that it is not good to fire at someone.

He introduces his dolls as his baby. He even feeds them, makes them sleep, we never discourage. Because his father feeds him this type of things are not new to him.

My son has already learned how to give a complement. When I wear a sari and do makeup he stares at me and says “mom, you are looking beautiful .” I become happy and say in my mind,” when you will have a partner give her such complements, importance, respect.

I do not know if my dreams will be fulfilled or not. But I will try my best to raise him as a complete gentleman. the human who will respect woman,won’t touch a woman without her permission,won’t discriminate in men and women and his heart will be full of love. For the time being, we are working towards making him a perfect human, the future will tell the rest.