KENT REGINALD | Trains | Contact

NSW Government officials are today claiming that all of this train strike talk over the last few days is just further proof that Sydney’s train workers are incredibly selfish and entitled, and all they really care about is feeding their family and trying to pay rent, instead of more noble pursuits like getting a bunch of 22 year olds from Chatswood to Bondi in 25 minutes.

One senior official, who refused to be named but assured the Betoota he’s been on a train before, claims that by threatening to go on strike this past Australia Day weekend, Sydney’s train workforce once again proved the age-old stereotype of railway workers who feel like they’re entitled to a decent way of life

“Frankly, it’s disgusting”, said the official. “I’m so sick of these train workers thinking they can have it all. I mean, we already pay them! Now we have to pay them enough to live off?? Where will it end??”

“I mean, my son was trying to head to Vaucluse last night for a house party at his friend’s house – but with all of the train delays, he ended up being a whole 35 minutes late! 35!! It’s like these people have no basic human decency or respect for their fellow man”

While the train strike itself was cancelled over the weekend, the Sydney railway system still saw several delays and knock-on effects from the labour conflict, which threatens to escalate in the coming weeks if a resolution is not found. Another senior official claims that it is time for the train workforce to take responsibility for their actions and help put a swift end to this episode.

“Enough is enough, these people need to pull their heads in. I mean, what’s next? We have to give them lunch breaks too? Do you know how ridiculous that sounds? Lunch is a rich person thing!”

“Why can’t these people just accept their lot in life like the rest of us? I mean, look at me – did I ask to be born into the family of a billionaire oil tycoon? No! But I played the hand that I was dealt and look at me now!”

Representatives of the RTBU (Rail Tram and Bus Union) were unreachable for comment when the Betoota reached out, although one spokesperson promised to address the comments as soon as he finishes his 14 hour shift and has 5 minutes before his Uber schedule starts.