Look, we get it, you guys are maturing. You took your little show about disgusting-ly awesome and unhuman main courses and got really successful. That’s awesome. So you started doing ads. That’s cool, whatever. Gamefly, Squarespace, fine, fine. At the end of the day, we want the videos with the insane amount of food formulated with copious amounts of liquor, not the festering piece of crap you just uploaded as this week’s episode.

In this newest episode, the Canadian stars of Epic Meal Time decide that they wanted to take everything that makes the show great and then simply not include it. Armed with a camera crew and a small army of beautiful women in branded shirts, the gang take on the Montreal nightlife, touring shop to shop. They get reaction shots to impromptu loudspeaker calls by Hurley, the Main Dude. They drink Jack. Hurley eats a $100 burger. They drink a lot of Jack. In what looks like a cheesy white kid’s music video, they bathe in neon, drink even more Jack and then awkwardly promote their Squarespace deal. Their “Epic Meal” this week isn’t the half-assed combination of burgers and fast food they hobble together like they thought it up on the spot, no, it’s their own egos as they spend the entirety of the video’s four minute and forty-eight second running length chowing down on how bloated of an affair their production’s become.

Your next episode better start with a mother*duck call* apology.

See the stroking below. A Drunken Mess, indeed: