I found myself sloshing “poo tea” around a field of limes, covering myself with the scent of horse shit. I was used to this smell and actually enjoyed it, as I had ridden horses from age 7-14. However, I had about 800 lime trees to treat with this mixture of horse manure and comfrey, and my arms were giving out. They were already sore to start with from my past weekend of surfing with some locals that I had just met. I spilled a bucket of poo tea all over me, stopped, looked around me, and just laughed. I couldn’t believe that I was technically in college at that moment, doing a study abroad program at University of Auckland. What was I doing working 28 hours a week on an organic farm 2 hours away from university?

The semester before I had taken time off from school and was backpacking through South America. After a 6 week stint in Buenos Aires, Argentina, I realized that I honestly did not like living in a big city. I grew up in the redwood forests 15 minutes north of San Francisco and had to experience living in the heart of a city before realizing that I need my space. Already accepted into an exchange program in Auckland, I began brainstorming ways to live in open space. Auckland is New Zealand’s largest city and the rent is crazy high. I was finding apartments for about $1500 per month, which I just wasn’t going to be able to afford as a college student without a job. I couldn’t get a job in Auckland either, on conditions of my student visa. One of my friends had just WWOOFed in New Zealand for a few weeks and had a wonderful experience, so I began looking into doing the same.

I ended up on SingingHeart Farm, a farm about 1 hour West of Auckland (2 hours by public transportation). It was a farm owned by the most lovely couple I had ever met in my life, both healers and counselors with a world of knowledge and kindness to share. My work exchange consisted of me working 28 hours a week for a room and all of my food. My work included gardening in the small veggie garden, cooking, working in the large lime and artichoke fields, and lots of odd jobs around the property. One of my favorite jobs was cooking for the family, as it consisted of me skipping out to the garden, harvesting whatever veggies were ready, and whipping up something new every night.

I lived in an old house truck, and every night when I walked out to the truck I would look up to the sky and see the whole milky way. I could also see the southern cross, which was exciting for someone from the northern hemisphere who is used to seeing the north star. On the farm lived another long term WWOOFer, Samantha, and a horse whisperer, Nadine. A month into my stay, the horse whisperer Nadine contracted a bad case of pneumonia and it became my job to look after the horses. I had ridden Western style when I was younger, but Nadine practiced holistic horse training, which meant that often the horses weren’t ridden at all. Rather, she conducted lessons where she taught her students how to connect with the two horses, face to face.

The food was to die for. Everything was organic, wholesome, and delicious. Imagine sourcing all of your fruits and veggies from your backyard. This was my life every day. For lunch I would wander to the veggie garden and choose what I was craving for the day: arugula, spinach, cilantro, basil, artichokes, tomatoes, yukon, carrots, you name it. It was peaceful and I had all of the air that I needed to breath. However, it was lonely. I spent most of my time in New Zealand in chosen solitude, and after a 5 month stint backpacking through South America it was greatly needed. I practiced yoga every morning and every night, occasionally went to my classes, and just learned to sit with my own self again. Just like my favorite poem from Oriah Mountain Dreamer states: “I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.”

After a roller coaster journey, some intense medicine work in Latin America, a recent breakup, and a long stint away from home, I needed to find self-love in my empty moments again. And I found it, there on SingingHeart farm, sloshing poo tea in a lime field with horses running in the background.