A gut voch! I hope you had a good Shabbos, whoever and wherever you are!

TL;DR: Please stop the talking in shul! If you want to shmooze with your mates, invite them to have Shabbos or another seudah by your home!

I was back by the mainstream/UHC place this Shabbos – I knew from experience that they struggle to get a minyan during the week, but I was worried that we wouldn’t get a minyan on Shabbos either! It just so happens that the majority of people arrive late… like, very late.

A beautiful 1980s synagogue – a sin that it’s not filled regularly

Last time I was here, I was moved from a seat just in case the person whose seat it was came in (he didn’t) – so this week I chose a different seat on the other side. There’s a lot of shmoozing amongst this kehilla – men speaking up to women in the balcony, speaking amongst each other – even through the Shemoneh Esreh (which I can barely get into before they finish – within seconds) and continue the shmoozing, through the repetition and all!



10:50am and two gentlemen stroll in, about a quarter of a way into the Torah reading (!?), one informs me with a grimace that I’m in the expensive seats, and proceeds to occupy the next two with his companion before talking through most of the Torah reading! What is this?! Have I been ruined and become a snob by davening at a chareidi shul where people actually act like they want to be there and spend time davening, shtaygn? I’ve been to a reform (UK Reform Movement) place before and in all honesty, they were more reverent than this – the only difference seems to be at the Reform place women read from the Sefer Torah sit next to men.

Last time I didn’t come back for mincha/maariv (going to my usual shul instead) and really wasn’t looking forward this time – and again I am left feeling down and disappointed. Even though there was a minyan (well, for shachris – not for mincha-maariv), I know it shouldn’t matter what they do – but it does. I want to daven with a minyan who are actually praising Hashem and there for the intended purpose, not chatting between themselves and to the women above. I can look passed the sloppiness of their observance – it’s their choice after all, but their behaviour in shul affects everyone… and in fear of sounding selfish, an environment like that isn’t really ideal for someone in giyur.

I could just stop going, but I like the Rabbi and his family – and one of the members there, Geoffrey. I also need a Rabbi as a character reference for the Beis Din and at this point only the Rabbi here seems to be an option, though I haven’t even asked him yet.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s all worth it – being scrutinised by a panel of dayanim; the expense of a tutor who will teach me what I already know or at best what I could learn on my own; living with a family for a year when I already run a traditional Jewish home… The only difference giyur through the London BD makes is I can make aliyah and it makes marriage easier/possible – neither of which I care for at the moment. I think I would rather find 3 shomrei Torah umitzvos and a mohel then live happily ever after! That isn’t going to happen here though… perhaps I’ll take an ad out in Hamodia! (I’m joking… for now).