I could fill volumes because not only am I a woman, I’m single, so I don’t have a man attached to me. Doubly invisible.

When I move to a new ward, I show up at church, and people don’t ask me what I do. They say “What does your husband do?” And when I tell them I don’t have one, they’re at a loss as to what to say to me. (Usually, they fall all over themselves to reassure me that my terrible fate of singleness is only temporary and that I should cheer up and be patient. Even when I’ve made no commentary whatsoever on my feelings about my marital status.)

– Trudy

I’m not sure how best to put this, but one of the things I find most annoying is what I call the “Jedi hand wave” answers that we get as single sisters – “we don’t know, but… ah, it’ll all work out.”

We’re told in the temple our salvation apparently requires not just Christ’s intercession but the intercession of our spouse – with no information on who will fulfill that role for me. “It will all work out in the eternities.”

We’re called through the veil by a man – married sisters by their husbands, but who will call me? Best answer I got was “…Someone who loves you.”

Add to that the worship (to the point of fetishization) of The Family and being told weekly that the best and divine role of women is to have and raise children…where does that leave us? (Hand wave) “You still count. It’ll all work out. These are not the droids you’re looking for.”

It’s not good enough.

– Kristin

Pro Tip: Acknowledge that there are gaping holes in our doctrine concerning single women. See women as whole people separate from their marital status.

Click here to read all of the stories in our #hearLDSwomen series. Has anything like this happened to you? Please share in the comments or submit your experience(s) to participate in the series.

“If any man have ears to hear, let him hear.” (Mark 4:23)

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