How To Talk Dirty In Esperanto : Kiel Paroli Maldece en Esperanto

Introduction : Enkonduko

I received an anonymous essay in the mail entitled How to Talk Dirty In Esperanto . In addition to explaining the vocabulary of insults and sex, it is one of the best explanations of the grammar and suffixes I have found. I have transcribed it here and augmented its vocabulary with other sources. Not all the words in this mini dictionary are rude, but they may still be useful in sexual situations. There is much debate over the best terms. I have included all I could find, even ones grammarians would reject.

Mi ricevis anoniman eseon per posxto titolita Kiel Paroli Maldece en Esperanto . Krom esti klarigo de la vort-provizo pri insultoj kaj sekso, gxi estas unu de la plejbonaj klarigoj de la gramatiko kaj sufiksoj, kiun mi trovis. Mi transkribis ties vortareton kaj pliigis gxin per alia fontoj. Ne cxi tiuj vortoj estas malpuraj, sed ili estus utilaj en okazoj seksaj. Estas debatego pri la pli bonaj vortoj. Mi enmetis cxiujn kiujn mi povis trovi, ecx tiujn, kiujn gramatikistoj rifuzus.

Why Does this Essay Exist? : Kial Ekzistas Tia Eseo

Brikan

Some years ago (in , to be exact) an article with this title appeared in the National Lampoon and caused quite a stir on campuses across the country. It was however, quite unreliable from the linguistic point of view, since the authors had no qualms about inventing items they couldn’t find in their (obviously very chintzy) dictionary. Even if you don’t wish to talk dirty in Esperanto or if you can only talk clean in it and possess the same chintzy old dictionary (which fails to list everyday items like 'cock', 'cunt', 'fuck' etc.), you may find the following has some entertainment value if not immediate practical use! (You may not, for example, know many native-speakers of the language. although they do exist! However, you might consider composing a graffito in it the next time you visit your library shithouse — you’ll be amazed at the number of racist and xenophobic comments that will evoke and who knows, you might even get a reply in Esperanto depending on the intellectual level of your present educational establishment! Or you could always impress your untravelled friends with your obviously profound grasp of another language after all, how many dirty words did you manage to pick up after years of highschool French of Spanish? The present article is we assure you, quite linguistically reliable!

What Is Esperanto : Kio Estas Esperanto

UNESCO

U nited N ations E ducational, S cientific and C ultural O rganisation

Pronunciation : Prononco

b, d, f, h, k, 1, m, n, p s t, v

z

a, e, i, o

u

P a , m a y w e g o too?

Esperanto Consonants and Dipthongs aj as in 'Spanish fl y ' aux or aý as in 'fat cow' c always sound like ts in 'tits'; 'cico' (nipple) then sounds like 'tseetsoh' cx or æ always sounds like ch in 'chomp on this, Myrtle'; [don’t mix up 'kaco' (cock), with 'kacxo' (porridge), or 'kako' (poop, do-do). ej as in 'foreplay' eux or eý (quite rare): just 'eh' + 'oo' g always hard, as in ' g onorrhea' or ' g obble'. gx or ø always soft, as in ' J ack j erked off'; hx or ¶ as in the German 'Achtung!' 'ach, vot a vopper you heff!'. j always sounds like an English y, as in ' y oni' jx or ¼ always soft, as in 'massage parlor', or 'plea s ure pit' oj as in 'joint'. oux or oý (even rarer): English 'po' would be spelled as 'poux' in Esperanto. r always rolled or flapped, as in French 'me r de' or Spanish 'mie r da' sx or þ always as in 'shit' or 'shovel' uj as in 'oh tsk it’s all gooey!'

You can learn punctuation on the Internet via sound files.

Grammar : Gramatiko

Esperanto Parts of Speech Part of Speech Ending Notes nouns (root) + o(n) All singular nouns end in +o (if they are subjects) or +on (if they are direct objects. (root) + oj(n) All plural nouns end in +oj (if they are subjects) or +ojn (if they are direct objects. verbs (root) + i infinitive, e.g. mangxi = to eat , sucxi = to suck . The verb endings never change to agree with singular or plural etc. as in French or spanish. (root) + as present (root) + is past (root) + os future (root) + us conditional (root) + u imperative adverbs (root) + e bone = good, well , rapide = quickly .

Esperanto examples Examples Esperanto English Sxekspiro sucxas bone. Shakespear sucks well. Kaco estas bona ilo. A cock is a good instrument. Mia fratino mangxis mian viandon. My sister ate my meat. Lia onklino ne mangxas varman viandon. His aunt doesn’t eat hot meat. Grandaj mamoj estus belaj. Big tits would be beautiful. Sandra lekas fratajn kojonojn. Sandra licks brother’s (fraternal) balls. Sandra lekos haran pugtruon. Sandra will lick a hairy ass-hole. Fektruon is shithole, preferred by Non-Engish speakers. Fiku vian patrinon rapide. Fuck your mother quickly.

Affixes : Afiksoj

Esperanto Affixes Affix Meaning (root) + acx decrepit, contemptible: putinacxo = decrepit old whore , kacacxo = tired old prick . (root) + ad frequent, continous action: fikadi = to go on fucking , lekado = the process of licking . (root) + ant Present participle active: fikanto = male person fucking now . (root) + ar collection, a group of: picxaro = a group of cunts , prepuciaro = a collection of foreskins . (root) + at Present participle passive: fikato = male person being fucked now . (root) + eg + a/o Makes a thing bigger and how!: kacego = big cock , cicegoj = big tits , varmega = very hot , sucxegi = to suck like mad , bonege = very well, excellently ek + (root) sudden or beginning action: ekpisi = to begin to piss , ekfurzego = sudden big fart . (root) + ej place for/of: fikejo = a place for fucking , picxejo = place for cunts, where cunts are . (root) + er portion of: fekerego = a great turd , cxurero = drop of cum . (root) + et Makes a thing smaller, sorry: kaceto = little cock , ileto = small instrument , mangxeti = to nibble, eat a little bit , hareta = slightly hairy , piseti = to piss a little . fi + (root) morally bad: fiparoli = to talk dirty , fibugroto = depraved male about to be buggered . (root) + il + o is an instrument for doing something with: fikilo = fucker, a thing to fuck with , mangxilo = an implement to eat with, e.g. knife, fork, spoon, chopstick, finger , lekilo = licker, a thing to lick with , hareta = slightly hairy . (root) + in + o is the feminine suffix: patrino = mother , patro = father , onklino = aunt . You know what sister is, so how would you say brother ? (root) + int Past participle active: fikinto = male person who has fucked . (root) + ist + o habitual or professional: midzistino = professional cock suckeress , as opposed to midzantino who is doing it right now. cxuristo , habitual wanker . (root) + it Past participle passive: fikito = male person who has been fucked . (root) + mal + a/o the opposite of, with no connotation of bad or wrong: bela = beautiful , malbela = ugly , rapide = quickly . mangxi = to eat , malmangxi = to shit , (root) + ont Future participle active: lekonto = male person about to lick . (root) + ot Future participle passive: lekoto = male person about to be licked . (root) + uj container of: kacujo = jock strap, cock pouch , cxurujeto = little scumbag . (root) + unt conditional participle active: fekunto = male person who would shit [if only…] .

Practice : Ekzerco

Father’s instrument (try paternal instrument), is a small cock (you know two ways to say small ).

). My uncles sucked big hairy tits [or hairy big-tits] badly.

His ugly aunt would lick (like mad) big hot balls [on hot big-balls].

The big hairy fucker [or the hairy big-fucker] will fuck (like crazy) your little sisters slowly.

Vocabulary : Vortareto

Esparanto Dictionary aj ouch akselo armpit ambauxseksema bisexual amori to make love, have sex anuso anus anusulo asshole (person) atleta athletic bugri to bugger, fuck in the ass cico nipple cxuri (cxuri sin) to jerk off cxiesulino prostitute, whore cxuro come, cum, jism damne damned dauxra lasting dika thick ekshibiciulo exhibitionist fek Shit! (interjection) fekado the act of shitting fekajxo droppings, shitty thing fekero turd, piece of shit feki to shit feko shit, faeces fektruo shithole, asshole fendo crack, slit fikadi to go on fucking. fikantino female fucking now fikanto male fucking now fikatino female being fucked now fikato male being fucked now fiki to fuck fikintino female who has fucked fikinto male who has fucked fikitino female who has been fucked fikito male who has been fucked fikontino female who is about to fuck fikonto male who is about to fuck fikotino female who is about to be fucked fikoto male who is about to be fucked fikuntino female who would fuck fikunto male who would fuck fikutino female who would be fucked fikuto male who would be fucked fingrumi to masturbate forfikigxi to fuck off forta vigorous frandzi to perform cunnilingus on frapeti flick frapi hit froti to rub furzi to fart furzo fart gadmeso dildo geja gay. Not derogatory. glano head of cock, knob hara hairy harega very hairy hareta slightly hairy huj ouch kacego big cock kaceto little cock kaco-sucxi to suck cock kaco cock kacujo jock strap kaki to poop, make do-do kisi to kiss klabo club, whopper, dong, whang kojonoj balls kondomo condom korpulenta fat kreteno an idiot, a moron kurba literally bent. It is derogatory British slang for gay leki to lick liki to dribble, leak longa long magra lean malcxastulino a slut maldika thin mallonga short malmola hard malpli less malrapide slowly malseka wet malstreta loose malvarma cold mam-pinto nipple mamo breast, boob, knocker, headlight masagxi to massage masturbi to jerk off merdo shit midzi to suck cock mola soft mordegi bite hard mordeti nibble mordi bite naz-muko snot onani to jerk off (oneself) onanigi to jerk off (someone else) ovoj eggs, balls patrinfikulo motherfucker peniso penis picxo cunt picxo-leki to lick cunt pisi to piss pizango whopper, big banana, plantain pli more postajxo behind, bottom prepucio foreskin publikulino prostitute, whore pubo pubic hair pugo bum putinfilacxo son of a bitch putino whore, tart rapide rapidly razita clean-shaven rektumo rectum rigida rigid ronda round samseksema homosexual seka dry seksumi to fuck (intransitive), to copulate sid-vangoj ass-cheeks skroto scrotum sodomii to have anal sex (intransitive) sodomiigi to sodomize, fuck in the arse (transitive) spili to bore, screw streta tight sucxi to suck sxmaci to kiss noisily, smack lips sxpruci to spurt, shoot umbiliko belly button vagineto small vagina vagino vagina varma hot viando meat vipi to whip volupta lewd, horny voluptama lewd, horny

Dictionary : Vortaro

Esperanto Dictionary

Practice : Ekzerco

Saluton, furzujacxo. Kie estas via bela pisujeto hodiaux? Cxu gxi estas en la onklina fekejo?

Hello old fart-bag! Where is your beautiful little piss-pot today? Is it in the aunt’s shithouse? Ne insultu min tiel, vi malbela picxvizagxo. Gxi ne estas tie, sed sur la malpura kacujaro.

Don’t insult me thus, you ugly cunt-face. It is not there, but on the dirty pile of jockstraps. Cxu profesoro X midzas mortintajn kaprojn, kiel oni skribis en la pisejo?

Does professor X. blow dead goats, as one wrote in the piss-house? Atentu al la elefantaj fekeregoj! Ili ankoraux vaporas sub la argxenta luno.

Watch out for the huge elephant turds! They still steam under the silvery moon. Sxia picxeto estas varma kaj malseka, kaj gxi atendas vian sxprucontan pizangon.

Her little cunt is warm and wet and it awaits your about-to-shoot dong. La harega fikunto sxprucis la cxuron sur la fratina n umbiliko n . [sur + -n = onto]

The very hairy would-be-fucker shot the cum onto the sister’s belly-button.

[Compare the difference between Feku en vian cxapelo n and Feku en via cxapelo . Both mean Shit in your hat , but the former is Shit into your hat , while the latter is Shit while wearing your hat ]. Mi pisas sur vin kaj vian dikpugan amikinon, vi hundarcxuristacxo!

I piss onto you and your fat-assed girl-friend, you disgusting habitual dog-pack wanker! Sxi leketos la malmolegan fratan kacegon, gxis la rugxega glano sxprucos cxureregojn.

She will lightly lick the brother’s rock hard horse-cock, till the very red knob will shoot big cum-drops. Ho, kamelfurzegoj! La putinarejo kaj la cxurejo estas hodiaux sxlositaj. Ve al mi!

Oh giant camel farts! The whore-house and the jerk-off establishment are locked up today. Woe is me!

(i.e. giant farts , not farts of giant camels , which would be kamelegfurzoj )

Good Bye : Adiaux

Farewell, fair reader! We hope you have been entertained, if not edified and can now talk dirty in Esperanto. N.B. It is also possible to talk clean in this language and we hope you will try that too! Now, go and wash you mouth out, you evil pervert. ~ brikan