I love when people ask me questions about Islam. LOVE. IT. It means you’re showing an interest in who I am and what I believe instead of making assumptions. It gets me thinking about why I believe or do the things I do. I love it – keep them coming.

Over the years I’ve been asked some pretty adorable questions about wearing the hijab. I’m going to answer them for you in case you’re too embarrassed to ask. (If you want to know about why I wear it, you can read more here. )

Are you bald?

This is my absolute favourite. It has been asked so many times and it makes me laugh every time. No, m’dear. I’m not, there’s hair under there but it’s just all covered up. Muslim women will have all the same variation in hairstyles as your regular woman will. We do the long hair trends and short hair trends the ombre hair trends and the blonde streak trends.

So what do you do to your hair then?

Well! Okay this is my other favourite question. We’ll all do different things, depending on what’s comfortable. I like to tie my hair into a loose-ish bun. It keeps it all neat and out of the way and I don’t have to worry about a pony tail sticking out of the end of my hijab. I told one of the people who asked me if I was bald that the lump at the back of my head was just loose skin, and that’s why I wore a hijab. Oh dear. I’m sorry, girl. I was joking 😦

How come your hijab doesn’t fall off?

I wear a cotton cap underneath all my hijabs that keeps my hair in place. Not all women do this. I know my mum doesn’t – in fact, it makes her feel suffocated. I love them because it means I can play with the colours and match them up with the hijab and outfit. The cap keeps it all together for me.

I sort of explained how I wear my hijab here (I also told you about other weird things I do with my hijab, so have fun).

Have you ever pinned yourself with all dem pins?

Never ever! I’m not even that careful – it’s just really difficult to pin yourself when you can feel and sense what you’re doing. Because I wear a cotton cap, most of my pins sit in the cap. The main one that falls under my chin to hold it all together is just a safety pin. Mum always says I’m going to choke on a pin – I tend to hold them in my mouth while I’m pulling it all together, but I’m learning to be better with that.

Do you have sex with a hijab on?

I should stop saying any of these questions is my favourite, because they’re all great. No, no we don’t. Well maybe, I don’t know – it may be a kink for some people. Women wear hijab when they are in the presence of males who they’re not related to, namely, anyone who isn’t their brother or father or uncle or son or nephew or husband. We call these mahrams ( محرم), which basically translates to non-permissibles which refers to marriage – you can’t ever marry those people so you don’t have to cover up around them. Cousins don’t count – you cover up around them because you could actually marry them.

Thusly, you can infer that you don’t cover up around your husband so you don’t have sex in a hijab (remember, no sexual relationships before marriage or you will die).

Can I see your hair?

Are you a woman? Are you my mahram? Sure. Otherwise, I’m sorry. You’re going to have to marry me.

Do your hijabs have to match your outfits?

No, I’m just incredibly stylish.

How do you colour-match all your hijabs with your outfits so well?

See above. Also, I’m smart. My mum and I go to this suburb in Sydney called Cabramatta. It is filled with drugs and fabric stores. AMAZING fabric stores where I can buy a meter of gorgeous fabric for about $4. When I go, I buy 30 or 40 scarves. I get insanely good discounts. I can pick all the amazing colours in all the fabulous shades I want. Patterns that I could’ve never imagined and textures one could only dream of. Each hijab costs me about $6 or $7. There are hijab shops all over the place too where they sell weird and wonderful hijabs with lots of glitter and things. It’s amazing.

Where do you get all your hijab-friendly clothes?

Well, we get resourceful. Know a place that sells plus size, maxi dresses? Me too, and I’m probably their walking wardrobe. City Chic used to be great. Asos makes me happy. There are plenty of hijab fashion stores too. A really popular one is Inayah, which is pretty popular or global hijab fashion which is just so full of beautiful styles. Hijab couture is a thing.

So… like. When there’s a special event, what do you do with your hijab?

You can get hijab-styles. I’m not even kidding. You go to a special salon where the lady does cool things on your head. These ladies are all over Facebook, like this one. It’s pretty bloody amazing.

What if you just want to do your own fancysmanchy hijab?

Don’t worry, there are plenty of tutorials on YouTube. I mean, look at this one – it’s called ‘Hijab Tutorial Pretty Bow Turban – From My Ariana Grande Makeup Tutorial‘. There are hundreds of thousands of them. Be warned, lots of ‘brothers’ go onto these pages to tell the women what sluts they are and that they are helping create an Islamic community of miscreants. Just don’t read the comments. Smart videos like this prevent people from commenting. YAY.

Do you wash your hijabs?

Yes.

How do you wash your hijabs?

My washing machine really liked to eat my pretty hijabs. To prevent that, I now wash my hijabs in those little lingerie bags. Keeps ’em nice and happy and in one piece.

Are you allowed to wash and cut your hair?

Hell yeah, girlfriend.

Can I compliment your hijab?

Of course you can. Beats you trying to rip it off or spitting in my face because you think I’ll spontaneously explode!

Can I touch your hijab?

Are you a woman? Are you my mahram? Sure. Otherwise, I’m sorry. You’re going to have to marry me.

Is it offensive to try on a hijab?

Not at all! In fact, it’s quite fun for everyone! I was wanting to have a ‘try a hijab day’ anyway. Let me know if you’re interested.

I have another weird question. Can I ask it?

Yes, of course!

Even if it’s inappropriate?

Especially if it’s inappropriate! 😉

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