A Utah high school homework assignment directing students to “go on a date” and telling girls to be “feminine and lady-like” and not to “waste” a boy’s money has caused an uproar over what some said was an example of misogynistic lessons common in the state.

The handouts from Highland high school in Salt Lake City, copies of which spread on Facebook this week, outlined guidelines for a “$5 Date” and provided separate instructions for boys and girls.

The lesson, which came from a Utah teachers’ database of assignments and has since been removed, told girls, “Don’t keep checking in the mirror combing hair,” “Don’t fish for compliments,” “Don’t criticize his driving” and “If you think you’re too fat etc, keep it to yourself.”

Jenn Oxborrow, the mother who posted the handout on Facebook, said in an interview that her 16-year-old daughter’s “financial literacy and adult roles” course has repeatedly promoted gender stereotypes and sexist material.

‘The girls’ assignment was essentially based around how to please boys.’ Photograph: courtesy of Jenn Oxborrow

“I was horrified. It wasn’t the first time that we had seen content that was gender biased in this class. But this was over the top,” she said. “As a teacher, you have a responsibility to be inclusive and to think very carefully about the message you’re sharing.”

Her daughter, Lucy Mulligan, a junior and honors student, said she was immediately surprised by the language of the assignment and the fact that it offered different directions for girls and boys.

“I just thought it was so bizarre,” she said. “The girls’ assignment was essentially based around how to please boys.”

It wasn’t the first time that we had seen content that was gender biased in this class. But this was over the top Jenn Oxborrow

The handouts said they were offering girls suggestions “from the guys” and vice versa and told boys to “make plans for the date”, pick up the girl and pay for the meal.

The boys’ worksheet further said, “At a restaurant, say what you’re going to order so she will have a guide in ordering”, “Girls like flowers and little gifts”, “chew with your mouth closed”, “no gross noises” and “Don’t comment or be concerned with how much she is or isn’t eating”.

Highland’s principal Chris Jenson did not respond to a request for comment but told the Salt Lake Tribune that the teacher did not write the lesson and that students could spend time with a friend to complete the assignment.

Jenson declined to identify the teacher but said, “She wanted it to be a light-hearted lesson in social norms.”

Mulligan said it seemed the students had no choice but to go on a date, noting that the worksheet requires a “date’s signature”.

She said she was particularly concerned that LGBT students would feel excluded or hurt by the message of the worksheets, which assume that girls only date boys.

The assignment told boys to ‘make plans for the date’, pick up the girl and pay for the meal. Photograph: courtesy of Jenn Oxborrow

“I was thinking of kids in my class who might not identify as being straight or might not identify as any particular gender,” she said. “If you’re struggling to come out or feel comfortable in your environment and then you’re given this assignment that makes it seem like it might be unacceptable, I just think it’s encouraging pretty unfair standards.”

Oxborrow, who is the executive director of the Utah Domestic Violence Coalition, said lessons that reinforce male entitlement and gender norms can have serious consequences. She noted that the highly conservative state has high rates of domestic violence and teenage suicide.

“This can contribute to really dangerous and unhealthy relationships,” she said, adding, “It’s completely non-inclusive and completely insensitive.”

Mark Peterson, spokesman for the Utah board of education, said the assignment came from an “open source” network where teachers can upload and share lessons and that the state did not vet the material. But officials have since removed the worksheets, which were reportedly part of a “Purposes of Dating” section.

“It is inappropriate and unacceptable. It is very much is reminiscent of a textbook on dating from the 1950s or earlier,” Peterson said.

It’s unclear how widely teachers have used the assignment, but Oxborrow said it appeared the lesson has circulated since 2011. She also noted that communities outside of her district have since told her that teachers assigned the same homework for the class, which is a state-mandated course.

“They are acting like this is all taken care of because one worksheet has been modified or taken down,” she said, adding, “I’m really concerned that the content and messaging is evidence-based.”

Mulligan said she felt her frustrations with her coursework made her a minority in the class, but hoped the attention would encourage school officials to more broadly reform curricula.

“I hope it just becomes more overall inclusive for people who don’t identify as being male or female or straight,” she said. “I hope people are able to feel more comfortable in the classroom.”