For every handful of people looking for a serious relationship on Tinder, there’s two handfuls of people wanting nothing of the sort.

What it feels like... to have two strokes

On 12 September, Tinder turned five years old – having been released back in 2012 in hopes that it was going to change the dating world.

And in some ways, it did. It’s seen more than 10 billion matches, made up of people who’ve all spent at least minutes swiping left or right on people they found attractive and also not so attractive.

But unfortunately, not all of those people have found love.


We’re sure that when Tinder was first released, it was done so with the idea that the app makers would pretty much be saving the dating world – helping people find love without having to go to bar after bar to find someone they fancy. They were ready to become cupid and they thought they’d had it mastered.



But with Tinder, dating became lazy. Not just that, but it became superficial.

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

The first thing questionable about the app is that you’re immediately judging someone on their profile photo before swiping left or right. This automatically puts into a person’s head that dating is only successful on immediate attraction.

While attraction is most definitely necessary, it isn’t the be-all and end-all. I mean, how many of us have eventually fallen for people who were beforehand totally off our radars simply because it took us a while to realise just how wonderful they are?

Not only does it force you to make a swift judgement on a person, it also makes you feel pressured into competing with all of the other people on Tinder. You must find the most flattering picture of yourself, a couple at least, in order not to be swiped left on because they found something better on the swipe before.

Thinking of all the people who’ve swiped left on you can’t be good for your self-esteem.

The saddest thing is the bios.

While some people decide to fill theirs with jokes or even flirty messages (which is often successful but let’s face it, not original in the slightest), others like to get real about their passions and their dreams to give potential daters some insight into the person they are.

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

But unfortunately, to actually read that bio – that someone could’ve worked seriously hard on – you actually have to be attractive enough for a potential match to want to click on it and learn more about you. Basically, if your photo doesn’t prove to be a success, you may as well have filled your bio with the same flirty stuff as everyone else. It doesn’t really matter who you are.

While of course, there have been some Tinder successes – even my friend found love through the app, and has been in a relationship with the guy for nearly three years – this isn’t what happens for the majority of people.

We’ve heard loads of stories of how people have looked lovely on Tinder, but really weren’t their date’s cup of tea in person.

Which is fine, it’s normal – but isn’t it a bit of a waste of time? Isn’t meeting people from Tinder based on a few photos and a few dodgy chat-up lines just as time-wasting as scouring the bar when on a night out with your best friends? At least you’ve got shots and a night’s worth of fun secured with the latter.



And let me just say, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with online dating. It’s not that.

Personally, I think online dating can be amazing. It gives you a chance to be yourself with someone without worrying about them judging you there and then. You can think about what you’re saying before typing it out, a great alternative to endless word vomit on a first date.

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

And ultimately, you can share things that perhaps in real-life, you’d be too afraid to unless you knew you were really going somewhere with them.

But Tinder doesn’t offer this. And it doesn’t offer security, either. At least with Facebook if you share a connection with someone you can always find their profile to keep in touch – but if your Tinder match suddenly decides you’re not for them, you can simply be unmatched without explanation, and you may never find them on the app again.

And sadly, it may take your match a while to realise you’re not for them. Because the app is so often used for sexual purpose, you could be investing your time into someone who only wants this – and isn’t interested in anything else. Whether the conversation goes on for days, weeks, or (doubtfully) months before you both realise that you’re after completely different things, it’s a lot of time to waste on something with no future.

Yeah, the online dating world suddenly seems a lot more brutal thanks to the likes of Tinder.


Granted, the app is the perfect place for a hookup. It’s judged on appearance, and that’s all you really want from a one-night stand. Nothing serious, there’s no need to get to know the person, if you’re both lusting after one another go crazy.

But this happens so often that people – though not all – begin to assume that maybe that’s all the app’s good for.

Cue the countless messages from guys matching with you only to offer d*ck pics and asking for sexual photos in return. Sadly, sometimes this even comes before a simply ‘hello’ or a cheesy chat-up line. Because sexual conversation happens so much on the app that it’s expected.

This may suit some people, but for those small handful of people actually searching for love, it can be pretty offputting. It can scare them out of wanting to find love.

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

I mean, imagine you’ve got this idea of falling head over heels with someone and having a relationship more romantic than that in The Notebook – and then you match with 32-year-old Gary, who’d rather send you a picture of his genitals than ask what your hopes and dreams are.

That’s more than enough to convince someone that perhaps the dating world isn’t really for them.

While admittedly, Tinder was a great idea, I think that’s all it’ll ever be.

There may be some success stories – but if you’re forcing the idea on people that people should pick their dates based on appearance, you can’t expect people to successfully find true love.


Looks are great, but they fade. It’s personality that you’ve got to rely on forever.

And personally, I don’t think you can trust you’ll find a connection through an app where personality is kept safely in the background.

MORE: These are your dating sins according to your zodiac sign

MORE: Why I ditched Tinder for my friends

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