I’d been lucky so far in that I never really felt those horrible otherkin pangs in which one is painfully aware of just not “a part” of the whole they are/are not physically correct. Yet, I had those feelings hit me out of nowhere earlier in the week, to the point where I almost had a meltdown on the subway. I felt so disconnected and just, very not human. I entered predatory mode out of nowhere, just picking out small details from everyone and just felt so completely overwhelmed. This was especially bad as I was on my way to work. As a lamia-kin that does deal with energy manipulation (draining/drinking energy from others mostly), being surrounded by children (I work at a school) wasn’t going to be good. I didn’t want to risk accidentally draining the kids of too much energy. So, I prayed to Sunny and Sea for the strength to get things under control. They indeed helped and the moment passed.

Well, for the most part. Now, I’m just feeling really nostalgic. Not for the scary accidentally draining children energy feels, but for everything else. I miss the ocean. I miss my teeth. It makes me really sad. Maybe it’s a sign I should try to spend more time with Sea instead of only Sunny. I don’t know. I just know this what something I’d been meaning to write up and finally got around to it.

:(