The Introvert’s Guide To Seduce Someone

As an introvert, you’re already familiar with all the excuses you use that would prevent you from approaching anyone.

“I’m not interesting!”

“I’m in my head too much!”

“I like deep thoughts and not shallow conversation!”

What if I told you that all these qualities can aid you in attracting other people?

Like any introvert, I prefer doing solitary activities. I draw, read books, surf the net, learn independently, and occasionally sing. None of these activities require much socialization or effort on my part to get out of the house.

I wasted the majority of my teen years and early 20’s staying inside my room and waiting for someone to come to me. Eventually, I reached a breaking point and was tired of always being the only person at social events without a date or significant other.

And I don’t mean without a woman in general. I mean without any sort of interaction whatsoever. I was tired of sleeping alone. No kissing, no cuddling, no gifts, and no attention. Just me, alone, feeling sorry for myself.

When you spend the majority of your life in a solitary state, it takes a lot of work to overcome that neglect. There’s nothing that boosts your self-esteem more than actually taking care of yourself. Subconsciously, you’re saying to your brain that you’re worth it. This is the essence of confidence. Believing that you’re someone to care about.

And when you want to seduce anyone, you might struggle with the options you have. Despite all this work you can put into yourself, you still may not be a naturally extroverted person.

I knew I would never be the life of the party, because that wasn’t in my genetic makeup. I was a deep thinker, the guy who sits and observes. I hate being loud. I hate small talks that lead no where.

So, what has helped me?

1. Tread the fine line

As introverts, we tend to have that “I’m in deep thought” look all the time. I know, it happens to me if I’m not conscious of my actions.

The only problem is, we’re already reserved individuals. If you spend too much time in this stone faced state, people are going to think you’re strange. You’d rather go for mystery rather a potential murderer. And if there is one tip I could get every introvert to follow, it’s smile.

Here is an example.

You catch a woman looking at you, dart your eyes away, and then look at her again when she looks away. Moments later, you repeat the same action.

Stop doing this!!

You look like such a creep. You want a woman thinking you’re about to seduce her, not stab her repeatedly with a sharp object. All she hears in her head when you do this is a murderous theme. Stop stalking your prey.

Think of Johnny Depp. He’s very reserved, humble, and his smile is a lady killer. He smiles and immediately covers his teeth with his lips again because it’s a shy smile. A lot of women love this.

I don’t fake a smile. It’s my natural smile. I don’t care about making my smile “bigger.” Just own it.

2. Play to your strengths

A little mystery is great. A top notch quality of all introverts I know is the ability to be a great listener.

If you’re like me, you have problems making small talk, because outside of the fact that I’m not great at it, I’m just not interested in surface level stuff in general. It’s just how my brain is.

So, what do you do? Let the other person talk and put your skills to work.

Let’s say you meet a woman and begin having a conversation. She mentions that she has a cat, that the kitty is mischievous and worse than a kid, but she loves him.

Now, what have I told you? Put your listening skills to the test.

So, you tell her “Mischievous? I hope you don’t spank him too hard.” If she has a sense of humor, she’ll giggle and mention only when he drinks from her wine glass.

So, you say “Does he really? What kind of wine does he like?” Then she’ll tell you what kind of wine she drinks. I love wine, so I would ask if she’s been wine tasting, if she prefers a merlot or cabernet, etc.

In this exchange, the woman would talk for about 5 minutes. I’d speak for a grand total of about 30 seconds. Yay, my introvert self is amazing!

You may be thinking this sounds so simple that it can’t possibly be true, but it is!

All I do is ask questions. Obviously, you will have to interject with knowledge or commentary at some point, because you aren’t going up to women and grilling them. Once the surface level is cleared, your introvert game is primed and ready to go.

Once we get to the deep topics, I’m interested. In this case, it would be wine. If we never made it to the wine, I move on. If she doesn’t laugh at my jokes, I disengage. Who cares? I would never date a woman who can’t laugh at a kitty spanking joke.

I like to think of myself as a semi-good artist, so I make sure to play to this strength whenever I get the chance. I will draw doodles for women, give them miniature exaggerated portraits of themselves, and overall use my skills to be playful.

Do you see the lesson here?

All of these are environments where I’m generally isolated, not a lot of people to make me anxious, I don’t have to be loud or fighting for her attention, and I can be funny because I’m relaxed.

I hate group scenarios and I hate loud environments. All of these places play to my strengths as an introvert. Do you think I’d be able to do this in a bar? No. You know why?

Because 10 other guys surrounding the woman I’m going after would be grabbing my drawings and calling me a dork or whatever. I haven’t “changed” anything about my core being.

I’m not pretending to be Mr. outgoing, I’m not pretending to like something I don’t to gain a woman’s attraction, and I’m not in an environment where I don’t know anything. I’m talking about what I love.

Why would you ever want to be with someone who gets offended if they’re given a hilarious doodle? Is that someone you want to be spending a lot of time with?

I hate uptight people. Forget that. I know my type. Once you start attracting a lot of women, you will get better at this. In the beginning, it’s rough, because you don’t know which women typically go for you. I know which girls to never approach.

These include cheerleaders types, shallow girls, and girls with sports paraphernalia (I don’t care about sports).

3. Go where you’re comfortable

Remember when I said I’m introverted and will never be the life of the party? Right. So guess where I never go to meet women?

Bars and clubs! I rarely go to bars and clubs because they’re loud environments. I don’t care what time of day, what holiday, or what party is happening, I just can’t deal with it.

The drunks, the obnoxious bros, the bikers, and anyone else who thinks the best times in life come when you’re nearly blackout drunk.

I hate clubs. I love dancing, but I hate yelling over music. I hate raising my voice at all. So, I go where I’m comfy and feel at ease.

My favorite places to pick up women are:

A. The food market

This may not apply to every city, but okay, then pick a place like Whole Foods or Trader Joes. I cook for myself several times a week, so I’ll pop in all the time to get my things.

Think women love a man who can cook? You’d be right. I know an insane amount about food. I catch women glancing at my stuff, so I’ll strike up conversation.

Guys, you have no idea how many instant dinner dates I’ve had happen because of this. And yes, I offer to bring the ingredients to their house and cook. I don’t know who this dynamic works, but it does.

It seems like nothing is off limits as long as I offer to come to their house. Don’t invite them to your place though, that’s just not a safe environment for a woman you just met.

B. The library/a bookstore

I love books. I am a certified bookworm. In addition to making you interesting, it will improve your general speech and expression of that speech.

It will also give you a goldmine of quotes to aid in your desire to be witty. I can talk about books all day. So, I find a girl who looks interesting and do just that. Most bookworms tend to be introverted anyway, so there’s a definite vibe in these places.

C. An art shop/gallery/museum

Again, another love of mine. If a woman talks about Michelangelo, I’ll mention that he’s a safe favorite, but he has nothing on a true genius like Bernini. If she loves art, she will love Bernini and understand.

If she doesn’t, I will introduce her to Bernini. If she does know him, but dislikes him, I will find a way to leave the conversation immediately. If you love Bernini, don’t you ever settle for a woman who doesn’t because you’re afraid of losing her affections.

Furthermore, don’t agree to hate him just to be liked. That’s also stupid.

Here are things I don’t know anything about: cars, sports, anything overly active like rock climbing, weight lifting, etc.

So, here are places I never go to pick up women: car shows, racing events, any kind of sporting event, etc.

I run because I like the high and it keeps me in decent shape. I lift weights and go to the gym to remain toned.

What would women rate me? I don’t know, I suppose the median average would be 7.5/10. I know my limits. I will never attract a woman who loves athletes or who fantasizes about the buff firefighter ravaging her.

But none of those men will ever be able to fulfill the lanky artist fantasy that the women I am attracted to have. It’s all about being you.

If you love computer games or anime, don’t change, just get outside the house and love them with like-minded people. If you love anime, go to a cosplay convention or anywhere anime is popular and find women there.

4. Be in control

As an introvert, I am very conscious and aware of my emotional state. I rarely have emotional outbursts or freak out or do anything drastic. I am calculated. The key is to use this to your advantage.

You don’t want to become a void, but taking life as it comes to you and not being bothered by much can be an extremely attractive quality to cultivate. Women love this because it exudes confidence.

A lot of men react irrationally when a woman makes things a little difficult. They’ll whine, hound her, or become sack-less. If you’re an introvert, you know how to relax, diffuse a situation, and say something clever.

Why? Because you live in your head like I do, and you’ve been practicing for this situation your entire life. Whether it’s through books, movies, or other means, you know exactly how to be smooth.

And another thing about control, learn to harness it. I am meticulous about what I put into my body and am definitely that organic/free trade asshole you meet at your local organic store.

Do not, under any circumstance, ask anyone what they want to do. It’s your life, you are running the show, and women are only joining you. I spent years being a push over and asking people what they wanted to do, because I was afraid of rocking the boat. Let’s call the woman I’ll date Sandra.

NO: Hey Sandy, I’m going to the pumpkin farm to check out that corn maze on Saturday. Do you want to come? It’s really fun and there are lots of things to do.

YES: I’m going to the pumpkin farm on Saturday to walk through that new corn maze. I guess it’s terrifying. Meet me there at 8 for hot cider and bone chilling terror.”

I told the woman in Target to meet me at the art gallery because I was already going. I didn’t ask her if she wanted to go. I told the barista to meet me at a specific coffee shop because she couldn’t be trusted to make coffee. I didn’t ask if she wanted to have coffee sometime.

When I get the vibe that women wish they could taste the dinner I’m making, I tell them I’m bringing it over to cook, but they have to make dessert. I don’t ask if I can come over. I have a date this Saturday.

It’s sweetest day, so I told the woman that she’s gonna come home from work, she’s gonna rest, and then she’s gonna get cute, because we’re going out here and I’m picking her up at this time.

Guess what she said? “Okay!” I am never rude about this. I don’t take a stern voice or pretend to be daddy. All I do is inform them of what I want them to do in the same way you’d give directions to someone who is trying to find a local landmark in your town.

The women I date love to be led around, because they don’t have to worry. They can relax and know that they’re taken care of by me. I’m sure there is some animal instinct about this, I don’t really care, I just know it works.

5. Escalate. Escalate!

This, and only this, is the only thing that has ever gotten me into good relationships. All the work on my clothes, skin, art, whatever, only aided, but didn’t seal the deal.

I had a ton of dates, I felt great, but I kept going nowhere because I thought that was enough. I assumed that if they liked me enough to go out with me and send me flirty texts, obviously they would make a move and jump my bones right?

I was so smooth, they had to, right? I seduced them!

WRONG.

This was a big blow to my confidence. I was just breaking away from my terrified introvert phase, so this nearly brought me back to phase of thinking I was actually an unattractive man, and that’s why women never made a move.

If you’re reading this right now, you already know the painful solution to this question. You have to make all the moves. There’s nothing that terrifies me more as an introvert than confrontation.

I love things sailing smoothly and peacefully. I don’t rock the boat. That’s not my nature. Making a move and escalating sexually with a woman means that there’s a chance she will deny it, and that could lead to a confrontation or a conversation that I don’t want to have.

I remember the first time I made a move on a woman who loved my drawings and was super attracted to me. We had spent about 3 hours chatting at a low key cafe, doodling on the placemats and enjoying tea.

I remembered the “a woman will forgive you for being too aggressive, but never for being timid” advice from here. It has become my sexual mantra.

Here is what I changed: I made myself presentable, I harnessed my inborn skills and developed them, I accepted myself as I am, and I learned to sexually escalate. Notice how none of this changes the core being of who I am.

All I’ve done is enhance the traits I was already born with. I’m not outgoing, I’m not muscular, I don’t have nice things in the traditional sense of cars and jewelery or what have you, and I don’t try to play a character.

All I’m doing is living life as the best version of me that I can. If women can get with that, fantastic, if not, why have I lost? Nothing at all.

You only get one life man. You have to stop sitting around afraid. It’s never going to come to you. You don’t have to grab life by the neck and rip its bones out of socket, you can just draw a little mustache on it.

For more like these, check out:

The EASIEST Way To Approach Someone You Like and Get Over Rejection