Yesterday it was discovered that Area 51 was in possession of the 116 pages of the Book of Mormon that was lost by Martin Harris many years ago. The pages were recovered today by an unknown Naruto Runner that was participating in the Facebook Event “Storm Area 51: They Can’t Stop All of Us.”

Many other items of interest were rescued from behind the fences during the raid, including the Ark of the Covenant, the sword of Laban, and a recipe for Chik-fil-a Sauce. Onlookers applauded the recovery of these objects as the Naruto Runners returned one by one from the compound, safely delivering the many priceless artifacts to the bed of a pickup truck someone borrowed from their dad.

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has yet to release an official statement about the uncovering of these items. Many speculate, however, that they are quietly increasing security at the Granite Mountain Records Vault, which is rumored, among other things, to include Porter Rockwell’s cryogenically frozen body.