Washington: Have you heard? Kim Jong-un is missing. Which can only mean one thing: He has been overthrown! His little sister, Kim Yo-jong, now runs the show in the most isolated nation on Earth.

Or is it that the entire Kim dynasty, steward of North Korea for decades, is now out? It was a coup! The North Korean grand poobah finally got too big for his britches, what with ordering men to mimic his haircut and feeding his uncle to wild dogs, and was deposed. Boom.

Out of sight: North Korean leader Kim Jong-un in May. Credit:Reuters

Wait a minute. Kim Jong-un is sick! It's true, he has been "getting fatter" lately. He does love cheese: "Kim Jong-un broke his ankle after he had put on extra weight from regularly consuming imported cheese," reported India Today.

Or is it gout? He has gout! "The increasingly obese Mr Kim is merely suffering from a physical ailment, most likely gout, according to reports by South Korean media," said Bloomberg Businessweek.