So I decide to take my girl out for a nice dinner at her favorite restaurant, the Olive Garden. The wait was hella long, which was annoying, but everywhere is busy on certain days, so what can ya do? Anyway, we finally get a table, and order drinks. Per standard Olive Garden procedure, the waiter says he'll bring over salad and breadsticks. I tell him to bring over two of each.



Five minutes later, he returns with our drinks, as well as two baskets of breadsticks and two bowls of salad. Cool.



About ten minutes later, he comes back to see if we want to order, which we do, and notices that we're out of salad and breadsticks. (My girl had a bowl of salad, but I ate the rest and all 10 breadsticks). He asks if we want more, I tell him yes, two of each, please.



So he comes back with two more bowls of salad and two more baskets of breadsticks. I promply devour everything again. By the time he comes back with the food 15-20 minutes later, I tell him I want more salad and breadsticks - two bowls and two baskets. At this point, he looks at me nervously and says "Well sir, I'll bring you another basket of breadsticks, but that's it. I can't give you much more."



The following conversation ensues:



Me: What do you mean you can't bring me any more, it's unlimited salad and breadsticks



Olive Garden Waiter: Well, yes, sir, but I mean don't you think four bowls of salad and four baskets of breadsticks are enough for yourself?



Me: When did FOUR become synonymous with UNLIMITED? Unlimited means NO END, meaning I can eat as many bowls and baskets as I want. If I want two, I'll have two. If I want fifty, I'll eat fifty. That's it. Now get me another basket.



Olive Garden Waiter: Sir, I really can't bring you any more salad or breadsticks after the next basket.

Me: Did you not hear me? Look - it's right here on the menu: UNLIMITED SALAD AND BREADSTICKS. What part of that don't you understand? UNLIMITED!



Olive Garden Waiter: Look, I understand your frustration and I can get my manager--



Me: You know what, get your ****ing manager because I'm done with this ****.



About five minutes later, the manager returns and he and I have a conversation:



Olive Garden Manager: Hows it going tonight folks?



Me: Well, it was going fine until your waiter cut me off from unlimited salad and breadsticks.



Olive Garden Manager: Ah, yes, he explained the situation. You see, sir, we give enough breadsticks that would seem to cover a given meal. That table, for example, got about 8 bowls and 8 baskets, but then again, there's 12 people sitting there. 4 bowls and 4 baskets for yourself and your guest are more than enough.



Me: Look, I don't know where you come from, but where I come from, UNLIMITED means YOU CAN HAVE AS MUCH AS YOU WANT. It's right here on the ****ing menu.



Olive Garden Manager: Yes, sir, it says "unlimited" on the menu, but what that really implies is that we'll provide enough that would satisfy a given table.



Me: So if I go home, and I look up "unlimited" in the dictionary, it's going to say "provide enough to satisfy a given table"? Come on, don't bull**** me.



Olive Garden Manager: Sir, I--



Me: Nah, you know what. **** this. I've had enough of you and your false advertising. Come on, let's go to Applebees. Oh, and if you think I'm going to pay for these drinks and these LIMITED breadsticks, you're dead wrong.



I then grabbed my girl's hand and we walked out. One thing's for sure: I'm NEVER going back to the Olive Garden.