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REVENGE is a dish best served cold, but it’s not easy when you’ve only got half a plate.

German eBay user “der.juli” has apparently literally cut his possessions in half, in a bid to spite his former partner. She reportedly received her share in the post, while he’s listed his halves on eBay.

The cut items include chairs, a teddy bear, a REM record, a sofa and even a mailbox. Some are genuinely valuable — a Samsung TV set, an iPhone 5, an Apple Macbook Pro and even an Opel car.

He even posted a YouTube video called “For Laura” of himself sawing the items in two, with the caption: “Thank you for 12 ‘beautiful’ years Laura !!!!! you’ve really earned half.”

It concludes with a sarcastic sign-off: “Greetings to my successor”.

With a starting price of just one euro ($A1.47), perhaps the man wasn’t too clever by half.

Then again, this could all be a practical joke.