Most big-screen thrillers aren’t this gripping.

Zak Toscani, a comedian from Los Angeles who also works at a post-production company, took to Twitter on Thursday to share the details of a lunch theft in his office, and it’s as hilarious as it is riveting.

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Toscani’s first tweet regarding the theft, which has since been retweeted 22,000 times, established that his co-worker had his shrimp fried rice stolen from the company fridge. And not only that, but this co-worker would be allowed to watch security footage of the theft in order to determine who did it.

The rest of Toscani’s tweets recount nearly every detail of the awkward, embarrassing and shocking ordeal, from the moment his office learns of the thief, all the way through her utter, outright denial.

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While we’ll never know if this shocking ordeal really happened or not, it’s nothing short of entertaining. Here’s a taste of what went down, according to Toscani: