Yo, I’m Tom, your narrator for this part. My awareness is about as low as a bandit in Skyrim that just got his entire crew killed and still says “Maybe I was just hearing things” as you sneak directly in front of him. So if I miss something please forgive me.

Anyway, looks like the bad PAU has some sort of barbarian problem. Perhaps they were upset that the PAU imprisoned their perfectly nice mayor but let someone who commited war crimes suicide their way out of punishment.

Getting just a bit crowded down here. Switzerland teleported a settler to pretty much the only free clay in the whole world and Brasil settled another city in their only available land

The kind and gracious good PAU let the Swiss have one of their own glorious cities unlike the bad PAU that forced the Swiss to move two continents away. Praise Stool!

Oh ho, another Swiss settler! Looks like the Swiss aren’t going to get Switzerlake this runthrough. Also, how did these Japanese units get here, I don’t think Japan is so out of room that the units would get teleported here? Either way, seems like the boats at the very least are stuck until the swiss border expansion forces them elsewhere.

Ah yes, the classic Finnish strat of giving all of your cities to someone else to circumvent the “mergers banned ree” rule. We’ll see if Sibir actually attacks or does like they did to Parthia and does nothing. Also of note is the bad PAU scout around Spassk-Dalny, likely there to get some tips on efficient genocide from Edgeless.

The PAU core. Not much to note other than for some odd reason, Iowa is completely filled with oranges. Also the PAU’s cowardly navy is hiding off the west coast, likely because they know any naval invasion is doomed to fail with lego at the helm.

The bad PAU must have heard of the generosity of the good PAU and attempted to do something similar in giving Pria a city. Unfortunately, the city is a frozen hell-hole. The new pria citizens are obviously unhappy at this, indicated by the red fist under the city name.

Both the dutch and the bad PAU have fairly impressive navies and armies. Will it be enough for one side to get the upper hand? There has been a lot of death and suffering on both sides from this war.

The good PAU is kind and forgiving, they gave Crete their independence back and all they asked for was the beautiful canal city of #1 Istanboolshit.

For fighting two or three civs and losing half of their cities, Parthia isn’t doing too shabby. Will be interesting to see what they do with their newly obtained great merchants, they do have three city states within convenient distance.

Wait, is this possible? The Sibir army has not retreated and is actually attacking! We’ll see how long that lasts. Also seen here: two OCEan swordsmen desperately try to make their way past the horde of sibir troops to attack a Pria city.

Not much happening, Snoreway is in bad PAU hands for now, but for how long?

Not much new except Teximaybe is now named Texicuck.

And just like that, Snoreway is Dutch again. Both sides still have respectable armies and navies in the area.

The PAU scout is nowhere to be seen, perhaps he has donned an OCE disguise? OCE and Sibir both push. I never cease to be confused at the huge number of SIbir units that fortify themselves far far away from danger. Maybe they are protecting themselves from the threat of the PAU scout? Likely a wise move.

Hawaii feels the Bern after waiting a few turns to think about it. Texiperhaps is now named Texicowo.

The barbarians are almost all dead with a few pillaged tiles, all to really show for their efforts.

Sibir might actually take a city without being aided by plots! They just need a melee unit up by the northern city to finish the deed.

As it was before but both sides have fewer units. Snoreway likely to flip to the bad PAU. Much to their dismay, there is not much pop to genocide.

Sibir took both cities! Not wanting to be burdened by having too many cities, sibir decides to burn Nik to the ground.

Snoreway manages to hold on, but just barely. In other news, the bad PAU has cannons and their is a good PAU missionary spreading the good news of Stoolism, now with Sakarti included in our pantheon of lion king themed gods.

Rip Nik. Sibir and OCE push on Vlad and the bad PAU sends a great prophet to spread word of their fake religion at the expense of waifuism.

More of the same. PAU troops in scandinavia are almost all dead. The cowardly PAU army sits up near iceland, likely knowing that since they have to invade from the sea, they are doomed until after the election and the ousting of Lego.

Only three Japanese units remain near Hawaii. That border grew surprisingly quickly. Sibir and OCE troops have reached Vlad. Another Texi name change

oh no, the PAU is attempting a naval invasion, I can’t watch, this is going to be bloody.

Vlad is half health, OCE seems to have more melee troops in place, but I doubt they survive to the flip. Also why is the OCE comp bow fortified within firing range of Vlad!

Some units have landed on Scandinavia, officially making it not a naval invasion, smart move, PAU.

Now only two Japanese units left. Also I see some caravels from PAU. Vlad almost dead with three OCE melee units nearby.

Oh hey, Sibir took Vlad, extending their Capital lead. Sibir has 3 capitals, PAU, PAU, the Dutch, and OCE each only have one.

It appears that Snoreway is fairly solidly in PAU hands. It appears they wanted to wait until it got to 2 pop before flipping it, they didn’t want to flip a city without being able to senselessly killing Dutch citizens. Snoreway is surrounded by Galleasses and one horseman. If they do it right, they can flip it back.

Bern’s borders continue to expand quite quickly and Texi has changed names once more.

St. Petersburg has made the same mistake as Crete once did. It’s okay pete, we can’t all be perfect. Snoreway continues almost exactly as it was before.

Aaaand St Pete is now Dutch. PAU seems content to let its army and navy chill up by iceland. There is a PAU cargo ship to the west of Limerick, likely filled with Democratic propaganda, in an attempt to convince the Irish that being ruled by a president for life is a good thing.

This is pretty much the same thing ree. Tobolsk has planted a citadel to the northwest of the mountain and gotten control of a formerly dutch citadel in the process. Another GG looms near St. Pete

Leris pls. Snoreway back to half health. Caravels arrive at france.

Vlad is at full health and there is no Sibir army to be seen.

Some caravels attack Fort Oranje. A settler is off the coast of New Washington.

Snoreway almost dead but no dutch melee troops nearby. Minutemen ravage the Scandinavian countryside, looking for cities to burn down I would guess.

Huh, Texi is not renamed. Also, American GPs geat out ree.

Glorious North Africa (won mk9)! Oh my, that lake and two 4 neighboring 4 food tiles are a sight for sore eyes. Only a handful of desert tiles remain in North Africa as the good PAU tries to make the world a better place, which can’t be said for the bad PAU. Caravels continue their raid on Fort Oranje.

Same as before, more or less. Dutch need a melee unit near snoreway, Scotland is crawling with PAU units. Also St Pete has seen the golden light! Praise Stool!



OCE has crossbows it appears. Four good PAU scouts are scouting about in Sibir, likely to help care for the sick and wounded like the good friends we are.

See, I told you the city was a bad deal for Pria. I would assume in this position they will become a bad PAU puppet for life. Death would be a preferable fate I would think.

Good use of a citadel by Victoricum there, getting all that sweet, sweet chocolate. As a good example of good PAU’s internal improvements, the city Konongo could hardly hope to get above 6 pop before our improvements. Also how did that Kongo boat get into Lake Chad lol.

The missionary of the Stool looks to find a new city to spread the Golden Light. The bad PAU is moving its army maybe? Dutch seem to be a bit light on army and navy, especially of the melee variety.

Oh hey, back up to 4 pop, nice.They just need a work boat really.

I love how north and south OCE only have a one tile connection, lol. Also another Stool disciple is approaching the Parthians. What are you doing here, dutch pikemen? You are needed elsewhere!

A bad PAU scout is sighted outside Lhasa, asking his Sibir informant how they were able to take three cities in one part. The informant tells the scout to “get gud”.

Our high quality city is still sitting with almost all of its original pop. Presumably the citizens who were uncomfortable living under the Swiss left for cities such as “Big and Chunky”.

Bad PAU units hiding by Iceland again, yawn.

Oh, the army is coming now it appears. Snoreway back to half health.

Reeeeee, geat off of my rightful African clay. And more importantly, get those false missionaries out of here!

Oh nvm, army is gone again.

Make up your mind! Smh

Half retreats half stays behind? Oh, and two Stoolish Missionaries again are here to help finish Dutch conversion to Stoolism.

Classic Sibir city honestly.

Sibir about to drop that GG for maximum annoyance.

And they actually did it, lol. Minutemen cover almost the entire island of Britannia, as if it was some bad alt history rp.

Hey, the last turn, finally! Some sibir troops have hid themselves next to Iceland in an attempt to blend in. Anyway, hopefully my narration wasn’t trash. Have a great day yall! And don’t forget to Praise Stool!

MISSIONARIES GET OUT REE >:(