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The codirector of The Interview spoke to the Straight this week about a variety of things, including what it’s like to wake up in the morning with gay James Franco in your life. On the subject of the notorious hack—which has plunged Sony Pictures into a deeply embarrassing crisis—the Vancouver-raised filmmaker pleaded ignorance.

“My gut instinct was, ‘Oh no, is it the North Koreans?’” said Goldberg, calling from Los Angeles while he ate a gluten-free sandwich, speaking of gay.

“For two seconds it was the North Koreans, and then the younger guys in our office who know way more about computers were, like, ‘No way. You’d have to know Sony’s network, it has to be somebody on the inside.’"

Sony truthers! Goldberg added that he's basically in the dark about the whole situation, while Seth Rogen and Franco, interestingly enough, were both prevented by Sony from speaking with media at last night's (December 11) Hollywood premiere for the film. "I still can’t sync my phone to my computer properly, never mind this," Goldberg said. "I didn’t know you could do what’s happened.”

To bring you up to speed, in case you don’t spend your day staring at a Twitter feed filled with stupid celebrity bullshit: Sony Pictures was hacked by a group calling itself the Guardians of Peace, which data-dumped 11 terabytes of highly sensitive company information on the internet, including salaries, budgets, social security numbers, thousands of toe-curling internal emails, and five of the studio’s biggest upcoming releases.

In the weeks since it happened, we’ve learned, among other things, that Adam Sandler is considered by many Sony employees to be an overpaid hack (duh); that Angelina Jolie, in the words of producer Scott Rudin, is “a minimally talented spoiled brat”; and that producer Michael De Luca feels inadequate whenever he sees Michael Fassbender’s junk. Also, Kevin Hart is "a whore." And an exchange between Rudin and Sony Pictures co-chairman Amy Pascal about Obama’s taste in movies is no less embarrassing. ("Should I ask him if he liked Django?" asked Pascal. "12 Years...," replied Rudin. Get it? Coz he's BLACK, har har! I never noticed, myself.)

The Guardians of Peace declared that the hack was prompted by The Interview, an upcoming Sony release in which Rogen and Franco are despatched by the CIA to North Korea in order to further explore their latent homo tendencies and also assassinate Kim Jong-un. I’ve seen it, and it’s hilarious. But Kim Jong-un has a lot of ICBMs and an itchy button finger, meaning Vancouver—where The Interview was filmed—is the first place to go once he chooses the nuclear option.

It’s also feasible that the CIA or some other domestic Intelligence group was behind the hack, which was always meant to be blamed on the North Koreans, thereby ramping up the film’s propaganda value. Asked if the CIA had actually intervened in the production of the film, Goldberg laughed at me like I was a total idiot. BUT HOW WOULD HE KNOW?

The Interview opens on December 25. Look for our Evan Goldberg feature in next week’s issue of the Straight.