It appears that our elected officials have managed to agree that it is a good thing if the government keeps functioning and that it would be a bad thing if the entire world economy were to melt down. You have to give them credit.

"We successfully secured equal increases in funding defense and non-defense priorities," said House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi. "We have extended the solvency of Social Security Disability Insurance and protected millions of seniors from a significant increase in their Medicare Part B premiums and deductibles next year. Most importantly, we have affirmed that the full faith and credit of the United States is non-negotiable and inviolable."

In other words—we've managed to keep the crazies at bay for a couple of years, and none of this will come up again to make the presidential candidates uncomfortable, and please don't stab us all, Dr. Bennie (The Blade) Carson. All American politicians now exist under the threat that Dr. Bennie The Blade will show up and slaughter them all. This is such a great election.

(A brief aside: so Doctor Ben used to maybe think about stabbing people. He grew up to be an acclaimed neurosurgeon. He's good with a blade. Hey, for me, this sounds like somebody making a constructive living out of what might only have been a childhood hobby.)

Naturally, the biggest threat to the deal comes from the flying monkey caucus.

Louisiana Republican Rep. John Fleming told reporters Boehner essentially "threw committee chairmen under the bus" and suggested this big deal was being dropped on members now because the committees failed to do their work. But, in Fleming's telling, House Budget Committee Chairman Tom Price, R-Georgia, pushed back, saying that he was in fact working on fiscal reforms but was told by leadership to stand down. Roughly 10 House conservatives got up and complained in the meeting about the process of cutting a major deal and rushing it to the floor without going through regular order, lawmakers said. Rep. Walter Jones, a conservative from North Carolina, said he still was waiting on the details -- but added that he "would not be blackmailed" into voting for a debt limit increase. Across the Capitol, the complaints were just as sharp. Sen. Tim Scott of South Carolina said, "It's too early to tell (but) I'm leaning no" on the budget deal. "I'm not necessarily in a position where I think it's in the best interest of our country," he said. Senate GOP Whip John Cornyn, the No. 2 in his conference, added: "It's a mixed bag, there is no question about it. I don't think you'll hear anybody popping any champagne corks."

If there were a substantial Democratic equivalent to this, there might be an equal amount of hell raised over the deal's finagling with the Social Security disability trust fund, which has been a target for conservative mendacity and vandalism for almost 30 years. (See, again, the story of Marcus Stephens.) I get a little nervous when I hear Nancy Pelosi talk about "extending the solvency" of the trust fund, because that's exactly the phrase Republicans use when they're talking about privatizing Social Security as a whole. And, while I understand the urgency of getting this deal done, it's hard for me to see the "reforms" of this aspect of Social Security as anything more than a sign that the whole program might be open for business at some later date, particularly if the flying monkeys in the House push new Speaker Paul Ryan in the direction in which Ryan has been dying to go for his entire public career. This is worth keeping an eye on.

And it's important to remember that the SSDI trust fund is still facing a shortfall because the Republicans, who have wanted to wreck the program almost from jump, refused to countenance the president's proposal to replenish the fund by increasing the contribution to it provided by the payroll tax that finances Social Security generally.

Republicans haven't settled on a set of changes they would seek to accompany a funding boost for the disability fund. Some GOP lawmakers said they were concerned about the increase in the number of disability beneficiaries in recent decades, particularly during the economic downturn, suggesting that they might want to see more scrutiny of those on the rolls.

Those crafty cripples. You never know what they'll do next.

Politically, the fundamental need to cut this deal should bring further discredit onto the Republican party, and to the prion-diseased base that is the party's only real energizing force. There never should have been a "deal" required to keep the nation from defaulting on its obligations. There never should have been a "deal" required to keep one faction in one house of one branch of our government from blowing up the world. But this will not happen, even if (as I suspect will occur) several presidential candidates announce their opposition to the deal. The wet blanket of phony, know-nothing centrism already is descending on the proceedings. An example:

As NBC's Luke Russert points out, Republicans get to avoid the possibility of a government shutdown and debt default, either of which would have further damaged the party's brand heading into next year's general election. Democrats, meanwhile, get to lock in economic certainty and avoid a drop in consumer confidence like what happened after July 2011 (the debt-ceiling debacle) and Oct. 2013 (the two-week government shutdown).

In other words, according to Luke Russert, this deal helps the Republicans to avoid committing suicide by killing the nation's economy. (The latter consideration does not appear to have entered Russert's mind.) And the Democrats get to avoid being blamed for some other consequences of Republican hooliganism, so everybody wins. The story is not that the nation's economic policy continues to be driven by the fear that a claque of conservative loons will burn the economy down. The story is…both sides! Winning!

All around the country, the parents of handicapped children on SSDI are terrified. They are waiting for letters in the mail that they dare not open. In Washington, though, there's a "deal" that might even pass the Congress. So it's all good.

Update (12:05 PM) -- And, right on cue, the zombie-eyed granny-starver chimes in with some outrage that falls just a few feet short of sincerity.

"This is not the way to do the people's business," the Wisconsin Republican said. "And under new management we are not going to do the people's business this way. We are up against a deadline - that's unfortunate. But going forward we can't do the people's business. As a conference we should've been meeting months ago to discuss these things to have a unified strategy going forward."

Ryan is not stupid. He knows what a mitzvah Boehner just did him by clearing the decks for the next two years. But any doubts about who has Ryan's cojones in a Mason jar must now be allayed. This little diatribe is just for show, but he needs to do it to keep the flying monkeys on their perches for the moment.

Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io