A restraining order is actually a legal matter between the judge and the offender, not between the two parties themselves. If the offender violates the terms of the order, even in the slightest way, the complainant has the right to call for legal protection. Typically, the offender is prohibited from communicating with the complainant or appearing within a specified distance of the complainant's home or workplace. If you have other family members who may also feel threatened by the offender, you may need to pursue a separate restraining order for each of them.

Obtaining a restraining order from a judge is only the beginning of the process. A marshal or an authorized deputy must present a copy of the order to the offender before the terms can be legally enforced. If the offender should return before the order is properly served, the order could be considered invalid. Quite often, however, law enforcement officers will be waiting at the complainant's home to serve the order. Otherwise, the marshal will deliver the order to the contact address listed on the forms. The complainant will be contacted once the order has been properly served.

Once you have filled out the required forms and provided evidence to the clerk, a judge will consider your petition for a restraining order as soon as his or her schedule allows. If the judge is convinced that a restraining order is required immediately, he or she will issue a temporary order of restraint called an ex parte restraining order. This type of order is generally valid for a short period of time, generally about two weeks or so. The court should provide a hearing date in which the temporary restraining order could be extended for as long as two years, depending on local laws.

In general, obtaining a temporary restraining order begins with filing a claim at a local courthouse . The court clerk should give you some forms to fill out, which basically provides the court with your complete identification, contact information, and a detailed report of the incident(s) which prompted you to take action. The clerk may also ask for any corroborating evidence of harassment, threats or bodily harm. You'll want to bring photographs of injuries, copies of threatening communications or official incident reports. Be sure to provide as much contact information on the offender as you can.

If you believe you are in imminent danger of bodily harm from someone you know, the first step may be to call 911 or whatever your local law enforcement emergency number is. The responding officer can guide you through the process of obtaining a restraining order, although there may be a lapse in time before the order can be legally enforced. If you can get yourself to a domestic violence shelter, an advocate there should also know the proper procedure for obtaining the order.

The actual process of obtaining a restraining order can vary significantly from jurisdiction to jurisdiction, but there are some common rules and procedures to follow. There are essentially two different schools of thought when it comes to the nature and scope of a typical restraining order. One is considered protection against harassment , while the other is considered an order of protection . The differences between the two can be confusing, so many experts suggest consulting with a legal advocate before seeking a restraining order.

A regular wiseGEEK contributor, Michael enjoys doing research in order to satisfy his wide-ranging curiosity about a variety of arcane topics. Before becoming a professional writer, Michael worked as an English tutor, poet, voice-over artist, and DJ.

Discussion Comments

anon964803 August 7, 2014 My name is Jeffery and I am very upset. My oldest brother has been a violent bully since my first memories of him. The guy has a record of assaulting people, including two of my Mom's brothers years ago (he did prison time for that crime). Long story short, he has loud-mouthed and physically bullied his way through life whenever possible. Recently, I had to threaten to call the authorities if he did not leave my residence when he had stopped by and flew into a rage for no good reason. He came in and within just a few minutes, he started issuing threats of great bodily harm to me. This certainly is not the first time my brother has done this to me or to others as well throughout the years. He is a lunatic and has stalked people before, such as one of his ex-girlfriends. I am a peaceful person who just wants to enjoy life as much as I can without being forced to put up with threats and having my home invaded by a violent thug. I personally have no record of violence or crime other than a seatbelt violation. Currently I am thinking about taking out an order of protection against him. My Mom is against it because he likely will use the situation as leverage to prevent her from seeing her grandchildren since she lives with me. They are both good kids. This has me in a difficult situation. Do I get the restraining order? I know that I truly should, but I don't want to punish my Mom or my nephews because my brother is a psychopath.

anon946341 April 18, 2014 I have now been threatened twice over the course of six months (first in September, no police call, and this month with a police call). The police failed to help. They only blame me on a loosely translated "on the verge of trespass" despite my neighbor communicating threats to me through her closed door. Then today, she acted as if my being on the sidewalk in a common area was a crime and nearly bolted out her door towards me, but my mouth kept her away. Forget the police, but I do have a written record of an incident from a couple weeks ago. I feel threatened by her and if this keeps up, I am considering a restraining order to stop the harassment. Is this a fair assessment?

anon930468 February 5, 2014 I've been with this guy for almost a year. His mom is nuts. She tries to get in our lives every time she can. He would sneak around behind their backs to come see me, but in the end, it seems that the person he was lying to was me, since he wouldn’t work and would supposedly tell his dad he was with me, but his dad said he didn’t even knew where he was and that he thought we had broken up. This gets to me all the time. His mom said he was dating another girl and every time I wanted to break up with him he would treat me bad and pushed me violently, but he doesn’t see it like that. We recently broke up and he still doesn’t leave me alone. What can I do?

anon346042 August 24, 2013 They will break into your home like they did to me, beat you and threaten your life. No paper can stop them.

anon343601 July 31, 2013 The lady who lives next door won't stop harassing me and our dogs. She gets them barking and then turns us into the spca for the barking. When we are outside, she is out there watching us, no matter what the time of the day or night is. Can I do anything legally to her?

anon343564 July 31, 2013 Restraining orders are just a piece of paper that won't put a stop to most cases of anything like abuse or harassment in any form. Most of the time, law enforcement picks a side and justice never gets served.

anon337901 June 8, 2013 Anon yes you can but it is a big pain. The person who you put the restraining order on will either have to move or stay in different classes.

usmle February 21, 2013 My neighbor is going through a divorce. His wife called my husband and my boss at work and said that I am going out with him. Can I file a harassment restraining order against her?

amypollick January 22, 2013 @anon315206: O.K. First thing is to call the cops and get the guy out of his workplace. The manager can sign a no trespass order so if the creep shows up anywhere close to the place of business, even if he's just whistling on the sidewalk, he can be arrested. Second, your friend will have to get the restraining order. You can go with him and give him moral support, but he has to get the order. That usually involves going to city hall to get the order, but you can call the city clerk to find out. Next, your friend needs to contact the service provider for his cell phone, and get his cell number changed. He should not give it to anyone who might give it to the creep. He should also check into getting a block on text messages and calls from particular numbers. Some providers offer this service. The last thing I would do after getting my number changed is to take a couple days off work and disappear for a while. I'd leave town and go stay in a hotel room for a couple of days, and only tell my mom where I was. One other thing: if your friend lives in an apartment or condominium, he needs to call the complex manager to get a no trespass order on the creep there, too, so he can't come on the premises where your friend lives. If he lives in a house, he can get a no trespass order on the house.

anon315206 January 22, 2013 I need an immediate reply here as quickly from someone who knows these ropes better than I. My friend recently found out that back in November that his best friend tried several times to sexually assault him. He didn't remember the incident because he was so intoxicated he was vomiting into a blanket at the time. I instructed him along with others that this guy, even though they have been friends for eight years, was a bad limb that needed to be removed from his life. After completely cutting him out of his life, this guy has been calling time and time again, sending him consistent messages, including some harassing ones in which he uses foul terms and demeaning language. Tonight, the guy came into his place of work and has been there at least two hours sending him texts saying "I am not leaving until you talk to me," and calling the office number repetitively. My friend is starting to become truly scared at this point. I want to help him get a restraining order because in the past this guy has gotten stupidly violent over the smallest things. Please, I desperately need advice on this.

anon312935 January 9, 2013 My child's father passed away. His widow has a long history of emotionally abusing my young child. She claims that I am evil and soulless. After his passing, she really went nuts. She tried to get visitation, but the courts denied it. Now we live in fear. She said that God will reunite her and my child, maybe in five weeks, maybe five years. I have this on video. She found out where we live. Do I have grounds for an order of protection?

anon306765 December 1, 2012 Please help! My mom had a tenant who was supposed to live in and do some construction work for us. He was good with us for a month or so, but then he started asking for money. He first asked for money because he needed to get stuff out of storage or something. My mom gave him 200 bucks and he brought most of his belongings and put them in the garage and in the living/dining room which was not a part of the lease; it was just to help out a 70 year old with a heart problem. The second time was because he had some stuff that was stopped at the border and he couldn't get it through without paying them. My mom generously gave him another $200-$300. The third time, he needed money my mom refused because she heard him talking on the phone with some people who he sends money to because they told him that they will double/triple his money. That's when things started to go downhill. He would demand money for construction work he was doing without finishing the job, or after finishing saying he had to be paid extra for extra work he had to do. My mom told him he would be paid when the work was done. That's when he stopped paying rent, which was coming from welfare. He would take the rent and just send it to the guys who are supposed to double his money. He started yelling and screaming at my mom whenever she tried to talk to him. He was supposed to only stay a month, finish the work and move out. This dragged on for eight months. He was calling the police on us because we were disturbing him. He had the TV on loud, and was destroying the property, taking off the bathroom faucets and shower faucets, as well as drilling holes in the wall and spilling paint on the carpets, and flattening our tires. He would wake up in the middle of the night, like at 2 or 3 o'clock even, and just walk around downstairs in the kitchen. We had to stay up all night to see what he was up to. We were mentally and physically worn out. He was purposely making our lives a living hell. We tried getting rid of him by calling the police (seven or eight times), which was no good. They would just say sorry, it's a tenant-landlord issue, not taking it seriously at all, even when we told them he was making death threats and saying things like, “When I am done with you, you won't even have a house to live in,” and that we shouldn't bother with going to the tenant-landlord board because he's played this game before and were going to lose. We decided to do so anyway, and when he found out what we were planning, he filed an application before us, claiming we violated his privacy by going in his room without permission and that we don't let him watch his TV and that we are harassing him by calling the cops and that we abuse him (unbelievable) so we had to go to the hearing. We didn't do too well because my mom's English isn't good, so she couldn't explain properly and the judge didn't let me and my sister speak. He also said that my mom was not living in the house, that she is pretending, and since he was stealing our mail and my mom had the mail redirected somewhere else she couldn't give the proof that she was. We lost that case, but the judge was nice enough to tell us to file an application against him for rent and other things so that she would listen to both sides. The second hearing was a month away and he continued with his antics. He also got the other tenant on his side, so we had two tenants not paying rent and living for free in our house. The old man started calling the city people and the fire department and electric department, saying we didn't have proper wiring and no smoke detectors and there was illegal construction going on, etc., none of which was true, but that didn't stop him from tearing down the smoke alarms every time we put them up. The second court date went in our favor. We finally got the notice for him to leave by the end of November and to pay whatever he owes. This ticked him off. He started destroying more property and told us he would move on his own terms. We even tried to talk to him politely to keep things civil, but of course not. He just had to say pay me the money for the work I did (which was crappy and unfinished), so now he is shaking his stuff out in suitcases. He goes once early in the morning when he thinks were asleep and then in afternoon when he thinks we've gone out somewhere (which we don't and thanks to that, I don't really have much of a social life and have insomnia). We wanted to know if he was finally moving and if he was, why he was doing it so secretly. We followed him one day to find out he was moving five houses down! (we live in a cul de sac townhouse – about 20 houses in total) I have feeling he plans to make us think he is not moving out by occasionally staying in his room even after the end of the month, even though he has a place, and harass us even more. He was supposed to move out on the last day of November, but he is still here. He goes out for a really long amount of time, then comes back in the night. My sister thinks he wants us to waste money on calling the sheriff. Once he knows the chief has given the two weeks notice, he'll move out at the last minute and have the sheriff toss all his things outside from where he can pick up his stuff. Can we get a restraining order to make sure he doesn't move close to us? Or should we go to the house he is moving into and tell the landlord (will they even believe us) we had to suffer eight months of this torture? Does anyone know what we can do? We've reached our limit.

amypollick September 26, 2012 @ohio27: You might move somewhere else by 2020. That's eight years down the road. Your father will also have to register as a sex offender, so you will be able to keep track of his whereabouts and plan accordingly. Having said that, until he gets out of jail, I don't know that you can get a restraining order on him. However, if he sends you any letters or anything from jail, mark them "Addressee unknown. Return to sender" and put them back in the mailbox. Sometime between now and 2020, make sure your phone number is changed and is unlisted *and* unpublished. That means he can't get it through directory assistance. Don't give your cell number out to anyone except close friends and family members who will not give it to anyone else. If anyone in your family besides your grandmother has any contact with him and is trustworthy, make sure they tell him that you desire no contact with him now or when he is released. Also, contact the Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network. They have resources to help you. If you have not received any counseling, I recommend it. You're carrying a huge amount of emotional pain and therapy can help you. There are numerous support groups for survivors of sexual abuse and incest and I urge you to contact them, if you haven't already. They can help you deal with your pain and fear. Good luck.

ohio27 September 26, 2012 I have not had any contact with my father since mid 2006. He is a registered pedophile and currently incarcerated for his crime against a family member of mine. He molested me as a child along with seven of my cousins earlier in life.(I was three.) He was given probation for five years for that crime (only against my cousins, not me). Charges against him on me were never brought up. In 2006, he was incarcerated for molesting a different family member. His earlier crimes against different family members were expunged from his record. He gets out in 2020, but I have a 2 year old now and do not want him to contact me at all. He has tried through my grandmother. I want to know if I can get a restraining order against him, even though he has not threatened me but has tried to contact of me. My grandmother sent him a picture of me and my daughter. I did not find out about this until after the fact. I don't want him knowing anything about me or my daughter, and I fear that when he gets out, he might try to track me down, which isn't hard to do since you can find anyone's address on the internet for free or a low cost. Can I legally get an order of protection to keep him from contacting me or coming to my neighborhood? I moved four hours away to try and prevent contact, but am scared it will not work. What can I do?

kp1832000 June 23, 2012 A girl whom I met about a month ago has started stalking me. She hangs out at the bar I frequent, waiting for me pretty much every weekend. The last time I was there, she had her friend with her who threatened to kill me and all my friends. When confronted by my friends at the bar, she falsely accused me of rape and beating her before she recanted that same night. She keeps saying, "Tell him I don't ever want to talk to him again," but I never reach out to contact her or even reply to her messages and phone calls. The late night phone calls never stop, and she even comes to my apartment at night sometimes and rings the doorbell over and over. I just sit in my apartment quietly. I am interested in getting a restraining order but I am in Korea and I understand that restraining orders are not as common here or easy to get. I'm not sure what to do. I just want her to leave me alone. Do you think she will eventually give up?

uvray May 11, 2012 I am a 27 year old female from Ohio. I met a person sometime last year. I liked him fine but gradually found he has lot of anger issues. I specifically asked him not to interfere in my professional life. But a month after I stopped talking to him, he started calling at my office number. He even came to my office even when I asked him not to. He also came to my home. I met him in person and told him I do not appreciate him coming to my office or home or calling me, but he does not seem to listen. I am going to tell him firmly not to try and contact me in any way again. I am very very scared about what he will do when he hears that.

anon256963 March 24, 2012 I'm a stripper and I have been verbally harassed and threatened at work by another stripper. It has been going on for about three weeks and my boss hasn't done anything even though I have written and verbal complaints. Other employees have been complaining about her also. So far, our employer has done nothing to make her stop. What can I do?

anon251661 March 2, 2012 I feel so stupid right now. Two years ago, I finally had the guts to call the police on my abusive ex. We were having some problems and he, of course, overreacted out of jealousy and I was so scared that when he left the house in the middle of the night, I armed myself with a hammer and two telephones under the blanket next to me. When he got home, he was trying to get me to leave our home and as soon as he touched me, I swung the hammer and reached for the phone and called 911. Not only was he arrested and served time in jail, he was deported. I cried so much the first few months, busted arm and all, but eventually, I picked myself up and started to get my life together. I went back to school, graduated and promised our four kids we would come out of this on top. But the moment that he was with his mother in his birth country, he found away to reach out to me and of course, I stupidly gave in. He is still outside of the USA, but as soon as he realized I was only helping him so he could be in the kids' lives, he asked for a divorce and began threatening me, and saying he wished he had killed me in one of his earlier attacks on me years ago. He has said he was only trying to get back with me so he could kill me. I changed my number but he has my home address and now I don't know what to do. He threatens to have the kids either killed or kidnapped in order to get back at me. He blames me for not loving him and calling the police on him, and says I lied about everything just so I could cheat on him. I can't help but love this monster, but now I am scared for my children's lives and I have no one to blame but myself. How can I stop his threats from coming true?

anon250124 February 24, 2012 My husband and I been married for more than 10 years. We have four wonderful kids. He has physically abused me three times during the time we were together. I moved out of our house because I was afraid he would hurt me again. I have my own place to live, but since I can't afford the rent on my own, I have roommates with me. He does not approve of my roommates and wants me to find a place that I can afford on my own. I can't even have our kids with me for that reason. I used to give him cash because he said that it is my obligation to pay him (more than half my paycheck). Aside from that, every time I come see and be with our kids (at our house/his now), there is always something I have to buy (if it's for our kids, I don't mind). He has called me nasty names and thinks I'm doing drugs, getting drunk and dating around, to put it nicely. I have been tip-toeing around him for almost two years now. I have been obeying his rules about when to see our kids and what I can't do with our kids. He doesn't like any of my friends though they have not done him wrong. He threatens my roommates. A few months ago I lost my job. Now I don't have any money to give him and he wants me to leave my place, and go back in the house with him and the kids. He has tried to force himself to me but I was able to say no, stop and if you don't I'll scream. Now he thinks something nasty is going on with me and a roommate. Because of that, he ordered me to stay away and not to see our kids. He is a good father just short-tempered and controlling. I know he loves our kids and that is why I never filed any order against him. I know it will destroy him if I take away the kids from him but I also have sacrificed and suffered enough. All I want is what is best for our little ones.

anon250086 February 24, 2012 This is not a good post. One does not have to be under the threat of bodily harm to get a restraining order. Sometimes, a person can emotionally harm another, and there are many ways a person can do this. The thing is that they repeatedly do it and despite multiple requests to discontinue they will continue. Domestic violence is an obvious situation, but emotional abuse is a very serious issue here. This article completely dismisses such things.

anon242469 January 23, 2012 @anon153664, Post 188: Your best bet by law experience is to just ignore her. It appears there might be more to this story and she just might turn around and throw something (legal) right back at you which you might regret. The courts tend to side with the elderly and it does not matter what type of a position you might hold in this country. I suggest you guys just leave her alone. --43 years experience.

anon234598 December 12, 2011 Very confusing story about to take place. My daughter's father, whom I never married, recently got a divorce from wife #2. He and I were together between wife #1 and wife #2. Since he has gotten his divorce, his now ex wife (#2) has left me a very threatening voice mail, claiming she was going to bury under the ground that her children walk on. My daughter's father and this woman are trying to work things out, so is there anything I can do legally to keep this psycho away from my daughter? A restraining order or something?

amypollick August 24, 2011 @jlilia08: Since any U.S. military base is, technically, U.S. soil, you might be able to file an order. I don't know. However, as an active member of the military, you do have access to legal aid. I'm not necessarily saying you need to file charges, but someone in the JAG office should be able to tell you what your options are, in confidence. Having said that, if he is threatening to find you when he gets back stateside, you do not need to give him the opportunity. If he is doing this to you, assuming he finds someone else, then when that relationship ends, he will harass that person. This is going to end up with someone getting hurt. I know since he is in England, the threat is distant, but there are a lot of potential victims for him wherever he goes. If he is actively harassing you, he needs to be stopped. It may not escalate to the level of ruining his career, especially if a stern warning from his CO stops the foolishness, but it still doesn't necessarily protect you when he comes back to the U.S. Do you want this guy following you and sitting outside your house at night, waiting for you? Unless he is stopped, chances are, he's not going to stop voluntarily. As difficult as it is, you probably are going to need to take legal action to protect yourself.

jlilia08 August 24, 2011 My ex-fiance and I are both active duty military. He is now stationed in England and I am still stateside. I ended our relationship six months ago and he still harasses me nearly every day through e-mail, calling my work and trying to find things out from my friends. I know I can take this up through our legal office on base, but as much as I don't want him contacting me, I don't want to ruin his career either. My question right now is: can I file a harassment restraining order/no contact order against him even though he is in the UK? He's also said that he would come see me back here stateside. I would just like to know what my chances are in filing without repercussions as well.

somya yesterday My daughter ran away with her boyfriend, and i want to get legally get rid of her. I am afraid that she can blame us for any harm. Please suggest a legal action for this.

anon195499 July 11, 2011 I broke off a relationship about two months ago with my boyfriend. Under the impression he wanted to be friends, I spoke to him for about a month. He began showing up at my residence randomly, now on two separate incidents, and threatened one of the occupants if he was not allowed to speak to me in private. Can I get a restraining order against him?

anon184629 June 8, 2011 Can you get a restraining order against someone in another country?

anon179057 May 23, 2011 Please help! Two years ago I was sleeping with this man. I did not find out until a few weeks later that he was married. Once I found out, I cut him off and cut off all communication. Fast forward to today and I get a phone call from his wife saying she found the e-mails from two years ago between me and her husband (I am assuming that he never cleans his e-mails and he didn't delete my number). Now she is calling non stop and sending threatening text messages and e-mails. I am happily married now, but my husband is severely ill and I don't want to deal with her. I feel really bad for what happened, but I had no idea she existed. Regardless, I feel like I am being harassed and I want to know if the emails, phone calls and texts are enough for the restraining order.

anon178897 May 22, 2011 I recently had an affair with a man but broke it off around a month ago. Since then, he has been following me everywhere. Can I get a restraining order on him?

anon177690 May 19, 2011 I am being verbally abused by a girl in my class and recently she has punched me. can i get a restraining order against her and if so what will happen because we see each other all the time because we have the same friendship group?

anon174651 May 10, 2011 I have an 18 year old daughter who has a friend I totally dislike. I have younger kids who don't need to be exposed to drugs/alcohol, etc. just yet. I know they'll be exposed eventually, but why now? Anyhow, I have banned this girl from my house for the sake of my sanity and my younger children's innocence. Although my daughter is to blame as well, i have vocally told this girl she's not welcome on my property, let alone my house. But, she's here day after day. And yes, my daughter is partially to blame by allowing it. It's hard to explain. What can I do to ensure she doesn't even come close to my house, let alone in it?

anon173940 May 9, 2011 My neighbor harassed me about moving things out of the way so they could move, and have consistently been demanding that I not put things out on the patio. Now they have lied to a bunch of their friends, and called the cops because I moved my things back, and said I threatened to kill her. They formed an angry mob. What can I do to protect myself?

anon173880 May 8, 2011 I am wondering if an actress living mainly in another country can get a restraining order on me for posting obsessive comments about her on the internet.

amypollick May 8, 2011 @anon173313: If your mom doesn't know about this, then tell her! She needs to know. If she isn't listening, is there a teacher or counselor you can talk to? An adult who will stand up for you needs to know about this. He has no business touching you in *any* way. You really need to tell someone this is going on, or this pervert is going to start trying to take your clothes off. If he hasn't already. Please, please, tell an adult you trust what is going on here. You need someone to stand up for you. This is abuse.

anon173313 May 6, 2011 I'm 14 and I live with my mom and my sister. a few months ago, a few army dudes my mom knows started to live at my house. One of them bought me a bike recently (the only thing he has ever done for me) and today he got mad at me and spray panted it and now it literally went from being worth $450 to about $50$. I really tried to keep that bike in good condition and put my own labor into keeping it nice because I have not had a bike for about five years. He also literally sits and lays on me. Even if I tell him I can't breathe. It's even gotten to the point that I ran away and walked until about 1 in the morning. Please, can I get a restraining order? (By the way, only one of the dudes did all of this.)

anon166581 April 9, 2011 i have recently broken up with my partner whom i have two daughters with and as a child, the mother was sexually abused by her father. She told her mum. etc., and her sister was also abused. Nothing was done until we got together and i supported her through having him charged, etc. and her family turned on her. But now that have we broken up, she has gotten back in contact with her mum and sister, etc., and I'm worried about the welfare of my daughters as i don't want them around the sister and my ex's mum. If she can let this happen to her own daughter and not care, i fear for my daughter's safety. There is a police report my ex filled out regarding her father when he was charged, but what i want to know is can i get a restraining order preventing the sister and mother from being around my daughters as my ex won't listen to me in this matter.

loreine April 9, 2011 My son is seven years old and there is a mom who is always over him telling him what to do, grabbing him and complaining to the teacher about things that are not happening. I talked to his two teachers and they said that my son is not a bully as this woman called him. Because of all the accusations against a little boy, he is scared of her and doesn't want to go to school anymore. I went to talk to this woman and asked her to stay away from my child because she has no right to threaten him because he is a minor and she always can talk to me first, but she said that she is not going to stop because my son is a bully (is not true). This woman is always in other people's business and she has no intention of leaving us alone! What can I do? Can I get an order against her?

anon166212 April 7, 2011 My wife got seduced by an internet predator and has entered into a two or three year sneaky love affair resulting in our upcoming divorce. Any man who sneaks around romancing another man's wife is clearly a weasel. I want to keep my three kids away from this creep but the wife and I share custody one week on and one week off. What rights do I have with respect to the company of the kids when the kids are with their mom? I can chose who my kids can be around, right? Can I get something that would protect my kids from this trash?

anon163528 March 28, 2011 just wanted to know if saying good morning to ex on train considered harassment. we've had arguments in the past, but I've moved on and now i just say good morning, smile and keep it moving.

anon163209 March 26, 2011 i live with my sister who is four years older than me and she threatens to kill me and harm me and actually does hurt me, but my parents just think that's how all siblings act. Can i get a restraining order against her?

anon158812 March 8, 2011 @anon154081: You are not being harassed. Harassment is an action that a reasonable person would see as threatening. Have you asked the guy to leave you alone? It's a two way street. You need to be reasonable too. He is just saying hi to you, you said people in your group suffer mental health problems. Is paranoia one of them? It seems you believe he is following you because you see him a lot, despite the fact he lives by you and goes to the same group. Could he not say the same thing about you?

anon158561 March 7, 2011 Lots of people at school have been picking on me and it keeps getting worse and worse. They do everything in their power to harass me and to get a reaction out of me. They threaten to beat me up, punch me, etc. They flirt with my boyfriend to try and get a reaction out of me. They say stuff about me as i walk by. I don't know what to do. This isn't even the whole story but I don't have enough time to put it on here.

inneed February 21, 2011 will a restraining order get my live in girlfriend out of my house? we have a 3 year old child that I'm in fear for because of the heavy doses of medication she is taking. she lies, steals and is very threatening to me. i want her out but she won't leave and everyone says too bad. this is my house, not hers. what do i do?

anon154081 February 19, 2011 I am 43, and sometimes attend a group that include some folks with some mental illnesses. I am being pursued by a guy that has schizophrenia. So far, I've been chased around town by him "popping up and saying "hi" and my name every time. I was walking home from shopping, I live in an apt. building and he is one of the residents. He must've been looking out his window because than he showed up in front of me to offer help with my bags. When I got on the bus, there he was, when I got off the bus, there he was "getting in my face" saying "Hi! Hi! Hi!" This is very annoying. I don't even like him in that way. He's obsessed, or he's acting obsessed! I've been staying away from that group because of chronic pain more than anything else. I cringe when he waves at me. I don't wave back, I don't like the way he follows me in the building I attend the group in. I went to the restroom one day there and there he was, "waiting" in the hallway. One day I was walking to the room in the winding hallway and he popped out from behind a corner and said hi. He stares at me like he's in a trance, and he used to show up to the group when he wasn't supposed to be there. He didn't attend the group on Fridays, but because I'm there on Fridays, he is now there. Someone told me that he's in love, but that is not what I think at all. I think he's obsessed. One time I didn't respond to his "hi --!" [long name] and he said..."OK, be that way then!" should I go to the police yet? He hasn't physically harmed me but he harasses me by making kissing sounds and fallowing me. Help me please.

smrlover21 February 18, 2011 i am 24 and i have a son. his baby's mother harasses me all the time and she's tried to hurt me twice. i am a very respectful man and i don't want to put my hands on her but i am scared i will. i wonder can i put a restriction order against her and still see my son.

anon153664 February 17, 2011 I am wondering if I can get a restraining order against a neighbor who stands and just stares and watches every little move people make, including when you get into your car. She just stares and watches and then moves her mouth when you back out of the driveway and even went as far as making a line down the driveway so you don't cross over onto her driveway. She is an elderly woman who I think needs some serious help, but she wins people over very easily.

amypollick 20 hours ago @anon152904: You can certainly ask for a restraining order. Whether you get one or not is up to the legal eagles, but you can always ask for one. A restraining order covers the *person.* That is, a restraining order covers you, no matter where you are, whether you are in your house, at a bus stop, or in a restaurant. You may be thinking about a "no trespass" order. Those are pegged to a particular location, and may have to be taken out by the owner of the property. Nevertheless, if you have a restraining order taken out against them, your mom can say whatever she wants, but if you are home, no matter who owns the house, they can't come within a certain distance of you. Good luck.

anon152904 yesterday how do I get a restraining order on my sister and her boyfriend? they come to my house every day and are not nice to me and they harass me. My mom owns the house and says they can come, even though they put me down and say nasty things to me every day. I don't want them to come but i don't own the house but I lived here for years and years and they don't live here. even though I don't own the house, can i still file for a restraining order even though my mom says they come and she owns the house. It's really bad. They argue with me every time they come and that's every day. anyone?

anon146272 January 25, 2011 I'm a sophomore in college right now. Last year I made the mistake of meeting a guy online. I had done it before and they were all great meetings. The guys were nice and all I was looking for was someone to hangout with and talk to. (I even talked to girls, not just guys.) Unfortunately, the last guy I chose to meet said he had been in the army and he would really like to meet me. He sent me pictures (so I knew he was real) and we planned to meet. I decided my college was the best place because it was public. When the guy came, he was 45! He got me up to my room and started undressing me. I was scared for my life. Moral of the story: I got him out of my room, but not before he took pictures. Now he has been calling me and threatening me. He also got all of my information as well as my mom's. He even started stalking her. He used a fake name, so I have no clue who he is, and he has used two different numbers to contact me. I really want to get a restraining order against him for me as well as my mom, but I need to tell her about it first. I want to know if it's possible to get a restraining order without all of his information. He is really scaring me and I want to be done with him for good.

anon143860 January 18, 2011 I live in Ontario and I've looked up how to get a restraining order, and the only thing I can find is that you can't be dating the person but have had to live with them, or have a child with them. I am a 22 year old woman, and have no children. I met this man last year while attending college. We were dating for the past year, but recently he got very violent with me, and I called the police and even had to be taken to the hospital. He told me if I told the police or anyone what really happened I would "regret" it. I have now falsified a police report in fear for my life. Having had enough of his bull crap (excuse me for lack of better words), I cut off all ties with him. I changed my phone number and told him to leave me alone. Now here's the doozy: he's recently gotten a hold of my new phone number, and keeps calling me and text messaging me, but I generally ignore them. We also have mutual friends, so we're often in the same places, and he still persists and bothers me. He has even gone as far as coming to my house because I will not answer his phone calls or texts. I've told him on numerous occasions not to contact me on my phone, and not to come to my home. But he continues. I really need some help. There has to be some loophole in this situation. Is there any way I can obtain a restraining order against him without having any children with him, or having lived with him?

anon142145 January 12, 2011 I have a 15 year old daughter who has been in relationships with boys since age 12 without letting us know. She's not virgin anymore. We found out that she has been going out with the last guy for almost a year. We told her and her boyfriend that she isn't allowed to continue that relationship, but the guy told me that no matter what I do he will be with her. Can I get an a restraining order against him? He also came to our house to tell me that if I call the police he will tell them how I rape my daughters (we have three, 19, 17 and her). I didn't do that. He said that she told him that.

anon141905 January 11, 2011 i got married two years ago and brought my wife to America one year ago. at the first she was very very nice to me, but since she got to n.y., she started fighting with me over every little thing. Two times she has hit me. When i tell her to leave my house, she threatened to call the police on me. She is telling me that i can blame you for so many things, and i have more rights than you. i find out she married me just to get to America. I told her to leave my house. She said she will when she get a ten years Green Card. Otherwise she will send me to jail. Please, please, anyone tell me what should i do in this case. How can i throw her out of my house and how i can stop her to not get a ten year Green Card.

anon140897 January 9, 2011 I have a really big problem going on with my daughters dad! We've been separated for almost two years and he's still trying to get back together and gets turned down every time! He tries to convince me to take him back and acts nice then but as soon as I say no he becomes a horrible person! He gets very aggressive and starts calling me the worst names! He also got to the point where he's teaching my daughter to be mean to me, spit at me and even say I kill mom! He hasn't hit me yet, but is hurting me emotionally enough to make me even wonder if It would be better to be gone (not alive). He is a good dad and has a great family but has so much hate towards me that takes over his kindness. I don't want him out of my daughter's life but I really need him to stay away from me and stop the insults! Please help me! I need to stay sane for my daughter and my job.

Annomis January 8, 2011 I'm a 15 year old girl and I've had a male stalker for the past three years and he's been harassing me and my school hasn't done anything about it. can I get a TRO?

anon138593 January 1, 2011 my ex keeps texting me telling me she's going to kill herself over me and keeps trying to make me feel bad about the break up. i just want her out of my life for good. can i get a restraining order against her?

anon138144 December 30, 2010 I'm a 56 year old man who is permanently disabled (unemployable) via a sleep disorder: insomnia caused by stress or stressful incidents (extreme chronic anxiety). most of the time, however, I'm laid back so people can't tell I'm disabled in any way. I sleep days (6 a.m. to 2 p.m.) and am awake nights. The local police officers in the town that I used to live in began to stop me frequently as I would leave my apartment complex, and I never would get an explanation at first, but as I was 54 years old and crime free and a nice guy, I was beginning to get really angry about it! Drugs were common in the complex, but no more than most party places so to speak. It was not major at first, but it began to get bad over time. It got to a point that the last time I was stopped, I was on my way to walmart to finish some christmas shopping, they pulled me over and searched my car. This was two years ago. I was 54 at the time. the officer just literally admitted that they were looking for drugs. I held my peace and didn't say anything. After that incident, I was followed now and then and "eyed" with suspicion by officers who were working the walmart when I'd be shopping late at night (even though there were usually at least 12 other shoppers there as well at the time). My complex eventually began to turn into a ghetto as section 8 took the place over (government assistance via HUD). It became obvious that the local cops who patrolled my area had a real problem with me – and totally unjustified at that! I decided to leave all the crap behind and relocate to another city about 23 miles away from the one I was living in, Well, I'm settled in that city, but I'm now seeing the same goings on by the local PD here, as I shop late at night and even sit in the drive through at jack in the box. I was sitting in the drive-through a couple nights ago at 3 a.m. at the window, waiting for my order, and a local cop pulls in slowly behind me, then passes me and I know from experience, that he was running my plate. He sat up just ahead of me at the driveway, and of course I had to pass right by him to drive out on to the street to go home. Should I, at this point, contact a lawyer to be in standby? if I had remained in the city I was in, I'm sure that I either would've wound up in jail on a trumped up charge of 'suspicion' by now or at least been harassed every night. I don't understand at all why they're bothering me. I'm a 56 year old man, disabled and now living in a retirement community. I'm clean as a whistle regarding any kind of criminal record as I've never done anything to be put in jail for. My partying days ended in high school in fact. I don't even smoke pot or drink alcohol (In fact, I'm a christian.) I began to wonder a couple days ago if maybe I was under investigation where I used to live and maybe these local yokels where I live now have discovered it. At this point all kinds of things are going through my mind and I'm a bit scared now. The city I was living in was about the same size as orange county, california (but I'm in texas) and the city I live in now is approximately, in population between 12, 000 and 13, 000. Like I said: I've never done anything worth going to jail for, so this is really beginning to worry me as well as piss me off at this point. It's the ultimate harassment when you're a 56 year old man (or 54 even) and a nice guy and mind your own business yet are harassed by the local law! After all, I'm not some 20 something kid who's cruising the streets late at night. I'm a 56 year old retired person who is going somewhere when I'm out in my car that late! As I said, I need advice. Should I have a lawyer on standby just in case the scenario gets worse? I wish like hell I would just be left alone! I truly can't get over how I'm being harassed like this. It's so absurd that it's overwhelming!

anon136695 December 23, 2010 i just had my son in october and my ex boyfriend may or may not be his dad. but there was this one incident that happened the weekend before thanksgiving when he got mad and started pulling on me and my son then when my mom told him to stop and calm down he turned on her and tried to choke her and hit her. he also has been threatening me that he is going to take my son, and he isn't all that sane to begin with. he has a pending court date for dwi, resisting arrest resisting to pull over and abuse towards a police officer. so can i get i restraining order on him for threatening to take my son and pulling on me and my son?

anon136241 December 22, 2010 I have a problem with my older brother and he constantly messes with me so much and makes me so mad that it makes me want to hurt him really bad. So is it possible to get a restraining order against him?

anon136074 December 21, 2010 I am 70 years old and not well. I have a lovely home which I enjoy very much. I have very good help here to help me. Thank God I can afford it. My sons, who live out of state, want me to come there. I'm too sick to travel, but they insist. My attorney and physician told me I do not have to do anything I don't want to do. One of them told me to call the police if they try to force me to go. I don't want to get my sons in trouble. What should I do: go to satisfy them and be unhappy, or call the police and stay home and be happy? --agpg

anon135023 December 16, 2010 I wanted to know how to help a friend out who is being threatened by an ex boyfriend from the past. He got out of jail and found out that she moved on with another guy and now he's threatening her by saying that if he knew who she was going out with then he was going to shoot that person and kill him, and when he was done with the guy he was going to hurt her. But the thing is, that when she was with him she was older than him and it's stopping her from calling the cops because she doesn't want to get involved.

anon134141 December 13, 2010 Please i need somebody answer this question. I had a friend for five years. a couple months ago i found out she had often said bad things behind me and after I stopped talking to her i got my window from my car broken and my boyfriend started to get text msgs telling him that I was cheating on him, but it was false. well, to finish fast, everything started after I stopped talking to her and another friend had the same problem with this same girl. can i get a restriction order? she's so sick and she lies a lot but i don't want to ask first because she uses two different names and i want to make sure this restriction will be effective. Thanks.

anon132717 December 8, 2010 my friend has just started to be a piece of crap for no reason and it's getting a bit out of hand and he started beating me so i did it to him. we're 12 and i will hurt him bad. so am i old enough to get a restraining order before i hurt him?

strohka December 7, 2010 A non-parent adult inserted herself into a family dispute in Virginia. The person confronted two of my sons, who are still minors, and lectured them in a manner that was inappropriate. As a divorced father, I am fearful of this woman and what she may do next with my kids. Is this a matter that would qualify for a restraining order?

anon132319 December 6, 2010 Here's the short version to my story. My mom does not like this guy that I am into who is also my co-worker whom I've known for almost a year. He's 22 and I'm 17. I hung out at his house, ended up falling asleep and went home at like 6 a.m. my mom freaked out. Now she wants a restraining order against him if I ever talk to him again. 1) Can she really file a restraining order on him if we are friends who like each other? 2) Once I turn 18 (a couple of more months), and she tries to file a restraining order then will it still be effective or not because I'm of legal age? Please let me know because I really like this guy and I'm freaking out that he's going to get into trouble.

anon131496 December 2, 2010 there's a 15 year old who likes my 20 year old son. but my son doesn't want anything to do with her. she keeps talking about him in school and all her little friends are telling him things that she is saying. how can i keep this girl from talking about him before things get out of hands? --confused.

anon130821 November 30, 2010 I have a problem with a neighbor who lives two houses across the street from my home. I do not have any contact with this woman. We are not friends in my area. She dislikes me because I do not speak to her when I see her in the stores, which is seldom. Today I was informed by my employer that she came in to speak to my employer about me. She spoke very slandering about me to my employer. My employer did not share this information to me until the end of my work day. I feel that this woman has taken a step into harassment of me on my job. Would getting a restraining order protect me on my job, my home and anywhere I may be? Please respond as soon as possible so that I may seek advice to my next step.

anon129756 November 25, 2010 my neighbors harass me! they make up reasons to call the cops on me and my family. can i get a restraining order?

anon129722 November 24, 2010 Can I get a restraining order filed on me when my ex. who is now pregnant broke up with me because of my religious preference and has asked me to stop contacting her and her parents are helping her. All me and my family is doing is politely explaining how we want to be a part of this child's life and experience moments during the pregnancy.

anon129656 November 24, 2010 My current girlfriend's ex stays in egypt. He was going to fly next year to the u.s. to marry her, but she broke up with him. now he is hell bent of taking revenge. He is threatening me and her with dire consequences and hacked in to her e-mail account and took all her family's phone numbers. He even called his grandmother saying some nonsense things. Now after she blocked him, he's threatening he will take revenge and keeps on cussing. Please help me. Can i stop him somehow from harassing my girlfriend?

anon129609 November 24, 2010 If me and my girlfriend are both 17 years old with no past of any violence or problems, can her parents file a restraining order on me just because they don't want her to see me?

anon129546 November 24, 2010 there's a bully that's a total psychopath but still 13 years old, but can i have a restraining order on him?

anon128898 November 21, 2010 i have an ex boyfriend on facebook who will not stop bothering me and another ex boyfriend who is friends with my other ex and the one who is bothering me said he would shoot me with a gun so i don't know what to do and my other one hates me with a passion. i don't know what to do. I'm scared.

anon127227 yesterday Can I get a restraining order to prevent my ex from taking my son and running off while we are in the process of filing custody papers?

anon127178 yesterday I told this girl that I was going to kiss her on a certain day. She said she was going to get a restraining order against me. I haven't actually done anything yet as she said that. Can she actually get a restraining order if I don't kiss her?

anon125382 November 9, 2010 I was once friends with this lady. Her kids and mine used to play together. Before things got weird I let her know a house couple houses down from me was for rent. We used to hang out til she got mad at my daughter over not wanting juice. Stupid I know! The way she acted just seemed too odd for me. I stopped talking to her and that's when things got weird. She would tell people at my kids' school lies about my family like my kids are racist (my daughter was at their sleepover and the kids had a popcorn fight. My daughter threw popcorn at this girl from another country and told her to lighten up because this girl was mad over everything. She was trying to get this girl to join the popcorn fight), she told people my husband came over and yelled at her mother (the only time my husband was over there and it was with my whole family was to work on their car), she would tell kids' parents I won't let their kids play with her kids, and other stuff which is all lies. Then she has tried to hit me with her bicycle three times. One head on and the other two times was from behind and if I had moved over not even a foot she would have hit me. Instead of going into the street, it's like she is trying to scare me or something. I've been at the school having a conversation with someone and she'll butt in and start yelling. I have ignored her. I do not talk all to her. The first time she tried to hit me I was on the phone with my mom and I did say that you-know-what just tried to hit me. This has been going on for six months now with the lies and for about two months with the bike issue. I am in my early 30's and she is in mid 40's. So it's not like we are kids anymore. I do not know if I should just keep ignoring her and hope nothing happens or should I get a restraining order against her? And how does a restraining order work when she is renting a house two houses down from me and our kids attend the same school? I just need advice on how to handle this situation?

anon125191 November 8, 2010 I have a question regarding Facebook harassment. I was looking to get a lawyer and see what my options are because I have an ex-husband who harasses me online as well as his sisters. He has never actually said he was going to hurt me but said something very close to it among other things. I have called the cops before but they laugh me out the door. What can I do when my ex won't let things go and harasses me online? I also saw him in a club once and his new wife grabbed my face. No one cared to do anything about that either. How do I get someone to listen?

anon124326 November 5, 2010 I am in college and a married man keeps trying to have a relationship with me. We were friends then things got weird. He shows up unexpectedly to the building i am most of the time because that is my major and try to talk to me. It freaks me out because he is really strong and I am pretty sure the only thing he has on his mind is sex. I have told him that I don't like him and I can't be with him but he just doesn't get it. what should i do?

rhino October 28, 2010 @Malcolm Emmons: The answer is to get a restraining order. This is a very serious issue and if let slide could end very badly. Restraining orders are very common in schools and are easily enforced by the police. It takes the school counselor out of the position of sole authority and makes it illegal for the offender to harass your girlfriend.

rhino October 28, 2010 @anon118185: You have the power to make this guy wish he were never born. The first thing you need to do is get a restraining order. If he calls you again you can report it and the cops will pay him a visit. You might think about changing your number too. It is really easy and it only costs about $35. Call your service provider. I know you shouldn't have to and it is an inconvenience, but if you really want this guy out of your life then it's the first step to making it harder to get to you. Another suggestion: don't answer his calls. Change the status of your Facebook pages to private and make sure he is no longer on your friends list. When you move, tell only those who you must. Anyone who would tell him does not need to know. Washington is a great state and if you move to eastern Washington the cops have nothing better to do than to throw jerks like this in jail.

rhino October 28, 2010 @enough: You need to get out of the situation. File divorce papers and get her out of your life. You are being abused. No one should ever feel the need to kill them selves. You may be afraid but I'm telling you that you have what it takes to stand up for your self. She is going to threaten you and she will probably try every trick in the book to get you to stay with her but she is not your problem anymore. I hope you can find the strength to do what you need to do.

rhino October 28, 2010 @help2435 This would definitely be considered harassment. Harassment is any behavior that is unwelcome and repetitive in nature. In the united states it is very easy to get a restraining order and very easy to report on violations resulting in swift punishment for the offender. You sound as though you my be from the UK. I don't know the system there but I believe that you have every right to pursue an order to stop this harassment.

rhino October 28, 2010 @jessee25: The answer is yes. You need an adult to help you file. If you are being abused either mentally, physically, sexually or verbally, you should not wait to get a restraining order. You must seek help from the police or from a school counselor. These things are wrong and you do not deserve them. I pray that you are still OK.

anon122482 October 28, 2010 I would also like to know that -anon1021. My 15 year old daughter has been harassed at school by some gang members (females) and just yesterday they attacked her when she got off the bus.

anon122154 October 26, 2010 my parents called the cops on me because i tried to have my truck picked up and sold today, since the frame broke. i am trying to get a restraining order and need to know how i can get one on my family. i don't understand why this is when the truck is mine. to make long story short, the officer let the guy pick up my truck and now i need to file a restraining order on my family how do i go about it and do it? thanks.

amypollick October 17, 2010 @Anon119137: No, you don't need to call the cops. You need to tell *your parents* if you have not. They need to know this is going on. Yeah, yeah, it's your life, your private business, and so forth. And you are their underage daughter living in their house, and I'm assuming they're paying for your cell phone and internet usage. This entitles them to know that a mentally disturbed young man will not stop bothering their daughter. I'm also reasonably sure they love you, are concerned for your safety and do not want you to go through this. When I was 14, a guy who was also in ninth grade (but should have been in 11th grade) was making sexually explicit comments and threats to me. This was in the Dark Ages before texting and cell phones. No, this jerk did it in class. I didn't threaten him that I was going to call the police. I told my parents. Problem solved. That's their job when you're 14. When allowing you to try to work it out hasn't helped and fighting your own battles isn't working, then they are there to intervene for you and back you up. Tell your parents. Please, tell your parents.

enough October 17, 2010 My wife has become a person who is determined to break me down until I commit suicide. We recently filed for bankruptcy because I lost my job last year. We now have separate bank accounts and she refuses to pay for anything. I put all my money into paying the bills, even her car, because it is in my name just like everything else. The house and trustee and utilities are all being paid by me. She doesn't do anything around the house and the filth is making me ill. How can I get her out of the house? I don't have money to pay for a lawyer because she has me paying everything. I barely have enough money for gas to get me to work and to buy food.

anon119137 October 16, 2010 I'm 14 and a sophomore in high school. My ex boyfriend keeps trying to find ways to talk to me. I honestly think he has emotional problems and is too clingy and obsessive for me to handle. I told him we need to stop talking, and if he keeps trying to I'll call the cops. Since then (about five weeks ago) he's been trying to find ways to talk to me every day. 1. through friends; 2. phone calls; 3. AIM SMS texts; 4. formspring messages. Honestly, I don't know what the hell to do at this point. Should I call the cops?

anon118500 October 14, 2010 My boyfriend's ex girlfriend is harassing me. She's called me 20 times today, and she's threatened me that if I ever get close to their daughter, it won't be a good day for me. She said she'd beat me up, but I'm still a little girl (I'm a bit younger than her). Should I file a restraining order?

anon118185 October 13, 2010 I have an ex boyfriend who hasn't left me alone since our break up a year ago. He's constantly calling me names, texting me, and if I ignore his texts, he would blow up my phone. He mainly calls me late at night. He's constantly threatening me that he will make my life a living hell if things don't go his way. He's smart enough to tell me that on the phone though. Never texts that to me or leaves it on a voicemail. He's recently taken on illegal drugs and would be even worse when he's on them. Now, he's wanting to go to washington and that's a big problem because I've been planning on going there myself. He denies that he's going there to follow me but I know that's the reason because he has no business there. He told me he wanted to go there to grow weed. Which doesn't make sense because it's not even legal. I don't see why he can't go to california. I don't know what to do. I don't even want him in the same state as me. I'm seriously having a break down. All I wanted was for him to get the hell out of my life. But all this harassment has been going on for a year now. I was planning on moving to washington to start over and get away from him. I never imagined he would be psycho enough to follow me out of state. Is there any way I can prevent him from going there?

anon117433 October 10, 2010 my ex boyfriend won't stop ringing, texting, showing up at my house etc. i have made it clear to him we won't be getting back together ever, and since then he tries to threaten every male i talk to, even just as friends.

anon117195 October 9, 2010 My husband of 19 years is a nightmare. He constantly is accusing me of cheating. He has real highs and real lows. I'm scared of him as he constantly tells me I have to stay "til death do we part". He gets drunk and starts slapping me around, but is careful not to leave marks. He forced me to stay awake so he can yell at me for how horrible I am and how I had better show him respect (as if he knew what that word means) or he doesn't know what he'll do. I can't take much more and what's worse is nobody really knows how he is except his mother and she still would throw me to the dogs, and says that I'm the crazy one when I finally react. We have six children together. He tells me he will make my life hell if I move on. He won't leave. My question is can I get a restraining order and still remain in my home? I raised the kids, I home school three of them and it's my grandparents home. Why must I leave because he's out of control?

anon115110 September 30, 2010 I'm having a huge problem with one of my best guy friends. I'm in a lesbian relationship, and both me and my girlfriend had been friends with him before we started going out. He has had a crush on both me and my girlfriend in the past, but has been off and on about how he still feels about us. Neither of us see anything in him other than friendship (because we're gay). I made it very clear to him that I wasn't interested, whereas my girlfriend tried to go about it with a nicer approach. Despite the numerous times he backed out on her as a friend and called her a deceitful whore, he's been pursuing her more and more. This past week he tried to get involved in our relationship. My girlfriend and I hit a bit of a rough spot, and he seized his opportunity to jump on things. He said he was going to talk with her and "fix everything" even though I told him to stay out of it because it wasn't any of his business. Needless to say, I think he was thinking he could break us up and get with one of us, and it didn't work. We quickly sorted out relationship problem out and he seemed to just snap. After that, he became very reckless and smoked marijuana that had been laced with something (most likely meth) with total strangers when he was alone. That just led to a total breakdown and he became very unstable. He supposedly drove off to Arkansas on a "suicide mission" (which is impossible given the time frame from when he left to the time it takes to get there). We immediately did what we could to get in touch with his mother, who instantly blamed us for everything. He had been telling her lies, or just not giving her all the information of what had gone on. Needless to say, she felt he thought he had more to gain from us than friendship, and didn't understand why he continued to hang around with us. We simply wanted him to get help from a professional, and said we'd do whatever we could to help him. She said if we really cared, we needed to stop being friends with him and talking with him (by the way, this kid is pushing 21-- ridiculous behavior). She also told us that she knows he needs to see someone, and has been trying for years to get him help. In reality, she's nothing but an enabler and wants more than anything to be his best friend, not his mother. She never tried hard enough to get him help, and now it seems like it's too late. Nevertheless, we agreed not to talk to him anymore. We went out of our way to change e-mail addresses, pay to change names in online games, remove him as a friend, put his characters on ignore, remove him and his many alternate accounts on facebook, blocked his phone number, etc. Despite all of that, he came to my house demanding to know what was going on. We filled him in on everything, saying he needed help and we were respecting his mother's request. He then wanted to know how he fit into our relationship, and we made it clear that we saw him as a friend, nothing more. Upon hearing that he left. A few days later, he managed to find my girlfriend through an online game and started harassing her. She would put him on ignore, but he'd just make another character and keep harassing her. She finally said "I'm respecting your mother. I'm sorry," and logged off. Today he managed to find me as well, and tore loose on me. I refused to say one word to him and kept putting him on ignore, but taking screen shots of everything he said to me. He was very unstable, very angry, and continued to threaten me. I kept putting him on ignore, but he would make new characters again. After a while, I think he managed to bypass the ignores and there was nothing I could do. I was too afraid to get offline, as I was afraid he'd snap and come over here and try to do something to me, or go after my girlfriend and hurt her. He is a very disturbed individual, and none of this has come to light until now. I let his mom know that he's been stalking us online, harassing us, making threats, and that if he kept doing it I would look into a restraining order. If he came to my house I would call the police. He's taking all of his problems out on me and my girlfriend, and not once have we ever acted in any other manner than a friend to him. He's trying to play the victim for his own problems, and keeps saying I'm a bad friend because I won't help him, especially when he needs it. I feel I've done a lot to help, but he refuses to see that and would much rather try to get under my skin and make me feel like I'm a bad person. It's not going to happen. Everything seems okay now, but I know he won't get help from a professional. I'm pretty sure he's going through withdrawal as well, so I don't trust his judgment at all with that added to the mix. I can't see him stopping this downward spiral that he's created anytime soon. I have the screen shots, and I saved his suicidal texts. Would that be more than enough evidence to get a restraining order, and if I did get one would he possibly be forced into getting professional help in the process?

Malcolm Emmons September 22, 2010 So my girlfriend has an ex boyfriend who constantly calls her and talks to her at school. Whenever he does this he always verbally harasses her, calling her very hurtful names and saying things that are really hurting her emotionally as well as spitting at/on her. While they were dating he would do the same and he also would squeeze her wrists really hard and throw her up against walls, along with I'm sure many other things. The damage he's causing is very obvious for friends and family. The school was notified and things were "dealt with" in their eyes, but it still continues. I think the best bet is for her to get a restraining order against him. Is this a good choice or should something else be done? Either way something has to be done because this needs to end.

anon112497 September 20, 2010 So I moved into a new home. I get along perfectly fine with the tenant. When i moved back, i didn't notice i moved next door to the person i was trying to get away from. I get along perfectly fine with all my neighbors but that one person. I never did anything to them yet they keep verbally harassing me and my children. It's gotten bad to the point were they're passing out flyers around the block stating that I'm a bad person who is going to harm people but all those statements are false. I have a clean record and have many good friends. She keeps making my life a living hell and i have nowhere else to go. What can i do?

anon112221 September 19, 2010 If anyone can give advice or answer number 77 it would be really helpful. Since posting that, she has damaged my personal property, including a gold necklace and has tried to hack onto my e mail. I told her that if she were to contact me again, that I would involve the police, but i don't know if i have enough evidence to really push forward. She still posts online that she is with my boyfriend and I'm constantly afraid that she will show up to my boyfriend's house while i am there. What legal matters can i take to ensure this situation won't happen?

zukomoose September 18, 2010 So I don't know if i should get a restraining order on my ex boyfriend. he unfortunately raped me some months back. I went to a counselor, and I didn't talk to him for a long time. Then he randomly started calling me saying his new girlfriend is abusing him. I felt bad and forgave him for raping me. I don't even know why I did this. To forgive him for such a horrible thing he did to me. His new girlfriend doesn't know any of his previous acts on me, and thinks I'm stalking him and that I want him back. Which, I really don't! She probably thinks this though because he must have told her, he has been talking to me again. Now she got upset at me, and is blaming me for doing things that I have not done or want, while he is telling me he is going to commit suicide because of her. He invited me over his house one day, (He wanted to discuss his verbal abuse by his girlfriend and what he should do.) and said it was OK for me to come over his house early. So I go, and apparently he didn't tell his mother anything, and said I came over on my own accord, because his mom was about to get upset at him that it so early. He then got in another fight with his girlfriend, and broke up with her. Then right after he tried to get me in bed, but then I said no. He got pissed, and told his mom he wanted me to leave. Knowing I wouldn't have had a ride home for 3 hours. Then I stayed because he told me he wanted me to stay, so later I found out that he told his mom one thing and his girlfriend one thing and told me something else, saying that I refused to leave his house. He lied to them to make himself look good. His mom now gets involved, and he is telling her I am doing all this stuff to him, because his girlfriend went to his mother saying I was giving her rude comments over the phone. Which it was the complete opposite. Where that I tried to meet him one of the days and attempted to rape me again. I don't know what to do. He is ignoring me now cause I refused, (not that him not talking to me is a bad thing.) but I don't see how its fair that he looks so innocent, while he did all this to me. I don't even know why i forgave him the first time I just don't know how it will work because he has his mom and his girlfriend lies about me. I don't know if it has to go through court then I have no proof but my word, and I didn't take pictures of the bruises and such from his first assault on me.

anon111631 September 17, 2010 Can I do anything about the woman my husband had an affair with. Am I just going to have to wait it out? who's in my house, following me, riding by the house, making fake profiles on Facebook to try to talk to me. I just want to be done with her. is there really anything I can do about it or am I just going to have to wait it out.

anon110717 September 13, 2010 I have received death threats from my friend's ex via text. He quickly took it back after I threatened to get the law involved. But she has told me he verbally abuses her and tonight is in his garage with an axe saying he is out for blood. With my texts from him and my texts from her telling me all this info, can I get a restraining order?

anon109276 September 6, 2010 Me and my wife were separated for five months. We got separated to work things out, and in the meantime her friend Lori hooked her up with some dude, and she was that barrier for me to get back with my wife. by the way, we have a 13 months old daughter, and i will never allow someone else to be my daughter's father but me! One night when my wife came to pick my daughter at my apartment, i caught her phone and found out that she's seeing someone, so i moved back in the house to live with her. I called her friend Lori and asked her if she knows this guy, and Lori said to me: "i don't know anyone with that name." So later on i found out that Lori knew the guy and she lied to me! In the meantime i found out that the guy works at the same company as my wife. Now, what I'm asking is: Do I have the right to put a restraining order on Lori (my wife's friend) and also a restraining order against this guy (ex-boyfriend). As i see it, Lori and this guy are enemies to my relationship with my wife. In other words, Lori is keeping the contact between my wife and the guy. She's trying to break up my family altogether! Do i have rights to file for it? Any suggestions will be appreciated!

anon109115 September 6, 2010 I am a grandmother to my 19 year old grandson. His parents -- my daughter and her husband-- dropped him at my door April, 2009. They are angry at me because I was defending him from his father's abuse and my daughter did nothing. They tried to sabotage his graduation in June of 2009, they sabotaged his job at Pizza Hut and now, my daughter is trying to set him against me by telling him lies. He was upset because his mother called him while he was at his aunt's house (son in law's sister) and caused a huge argument between his aunt and his mother. He called me crying and angry telling me that now they are trying to sabotage his relationship with his aunt. Someone please help me. I ask that someone give me some advice on this matter. When they dropped off my grandson at my door he was 17. They have never helped me with money or anything for his keep. I am disabled and I also work. Can anyone give me some advice? Thank you so much!

anon108717 September 4, 2010 I am 21 years old and am almost six months pregnant. note that this is my fourth pregnancy and I lost three babies due to being high risk. I go to beauty school with this girl who threatened to beat the baby out of my stomach! can I get a restraining order?

anon108201 September 1, 2010 i would like to get a restraining order against my sister's mother in law. i babysit for my sister's baby (my niece) and her mother in law resents it. She has been verbally abusing me for several months already, and then one morning she grabbed the baby out of the crib after my sister and her husband left for work. she was yelling like a lunatic and cursing with the baby in her arms. i walked away and immediately tried to call both my sister and her husband without succeeding. I'm afraid she'd harm the baby and or me one day. i spoke to a friend who's also a doctor, and she said my sister's mother in law might be psychotic but there's no way of proving it or what happened that morning because i didn't think of calling 911 until way after the event and she would never go see a psychiatrist. Can i still get a restraining order on her?

anon107581 August 30, 2010 i want to get a restraining order against my mother in law for my family. i have no written or recorded proof that we are threatened by her. can i still get a restraining order?

anon107055 August 28, 2010 I have a restraining order against my husband. since I've had it, he has broken in my home through the window and put his hands on me twice and the police won't do anything, or Domestic Abuse. what am I supposed to do to put him in jail?

anon106466 August 25, 2010 Well I am 15, and i was on stickam and got on webcam with my cousin and few other people i didn't know. One guy messaged me and i thought he was attractive and told me he was 16 from california and he told my cousin he was from delaware. well he threatened me to do sexual things on webcam, i was crying my eyes out. I didn't know he videoed me, until a month later and he got on my facebook as another person and said if you don't get back on webcam i will send this video to all of your friends. and i keep deleting him, and deleting my myspace and put all the privacy things on facebook. he keeps threatening me and I don't know what to do. i can't tell my mom. I'm too scared.

anon104490 August 17, 2010 #36 anon61349, you will need to disown her first. plus, you're not alone.

anon103317 August 11, 2010 I am a girl and i am dating another girl. Her mom does not like me and has told her daughter to stay away from me. She said she is going to get a restraining order to keep me from her daughter. I have not caused any physical or mental damage. We have a healthy relationship, and i care deeply about her. Is it possible to get one against me?

anon103292 August 11, 2010 In addition to my post #119 and response to #120 which I'm thankful for the encouragement. My issue was about an abusive ex boyfriend who refused to leave my apartment and claimed he was a tenant there since he was getting mail there and lived there for over 30 days. When I finally got the nerve to call the cops on him, after getting pepper sprayed by him, I was told by the officers that in fact he is considered a tenant in my apartment due to the circumstances and that I would need to file an eviction notice to get him out. Also for me to hold on to the little bit of belongings he had and not put them out as he could have sued me for any destruction or theft of his belongings. He, however, could not come back into the apartment since he harassed me and I feel endangered by him and there has been a police report filed on him. I understand that different states have different laws so my lesson learned should be a warning for the women of NYC.

anon103090 August 10, 2010 I have a huge group of friends I'm no longer friends with who keep threatening me. On facebook they threaten to come into my job and smash my teeth into the concrete outside. They also talk about bringing body bags, and how they want to destroy me. I was also getting prank phone calls for two months, and I also have 10 saved voicemails saved from one of their friends who repeatedly called me. I had to change my number. I took pictures and saved all of the threats and filed reports on facebook. They have already come into my job, although they did not bother me, and they keep making threats on facebook. This is a large group of friends. I also have their usernames because they would also try to IM me. Can I get a restraining order because of all of this? Anyone have any tips? Please, thanks a lot.

anon102469 August 8, 2010 I am living with my boyfriend and he has decided to evict me because of our constant fighting. I told him I would go before the 60 days of the eviction notice, but he needed to give me time to find a place and get out. He decided to take his children and leave the house until I move out and is now saying that he is going to a lawyer to get a restraining order on me, stating to the courts that I "shoved" his 15 year old son, which never happened. He may be trying to get his ex wife to get one on me and then move the kids back into the house and kick us out. Can he do this? He doesn't have any proof that his son was shoved. I actually called the police the evening he is saying that it happened and there is nothing on the incident report stating that I touched anyone that evening. How can I protect myself from this? I am living in his home with my two children. I just want to be able to find a new place in peace and get out asap.

amypollick August 7, 2010 @Anon102238: I hope you don't think this guy is a legal tenant because of anything he said to you. You need to check the laws where you live, but if I'm not mistaken, if his name isn't on the lease for the apartment, he has no legal right to be there. Doesn't matter if he's been a house guest and gets his mail there. I say this because a friend of mine had a guy living with her for over six months. He received mail at her apartment too, but because his name was not on the lease, he was not a legal tenant of the apartment. Now, here's what you do: make sure of the laws where you live concerning tenancy. If I'm right, and this loser has no legal right to be there, call the county sheriff and have him removed. Chuck his stuff on the front lawn and tell the sheriff you want him *out* and to have a no-trespass order filed on him. Then, ask the landlord to change the locks, even if it's at your expense, in case loser boy had another set made. After that, go to the police department and get that restraining order. Change your phone number, your e-mails and your cell phone number. Delete your profiles from all social networks. And don't respond to any messages he sends you. Period. Good luck.

anon102238 August 7, 2010 I have been in a relationship with this guy who has been locked out of his boy's apartment in the middle of winter and if it wasn't for me he would've been homeless. I took him in but told him to pay me. To this day, I haven't seen any rent money from him and now he claims he lives here even though he's been in and out of my apartment due to his verbally abusive and bipolar behavior he's been exhibiting. In the meantime he also used my address to acquire legal documents and I didn't think much of it. For the last four months he's been verbally abusing me (in person, via text, on social networks), humiliating me in public; caused a public and domestic disturbance, manipulated and intimidated me to take him back in while blaming me for his irresponsible and immature behavior. All this while refusing to leave because he claims my apartment to be his since he gets his mail here and has been living here for over 30 days. He also threatens to destroy my belongings. I'm afraid to stay in the apartment with him but at the same time to leave my apartment unattended so he can either destroy my belongings or pawn them. I finally managed to gain the strength to break away from this manipulating relationship and living situation since the incidents were reoccurring and getting progressively worse. I took away my home keys from him and asked him to leave, after which he flipped and sprayed me with pepper spray --in my own home. I called the cops and got a report of harassment with which I need to go to court and file for restraining order. He knew all along what he was doing by using me for months, using me, my address, everything I own and my naive, good hearted nature to get himself put in a great living situation without paying for it, nor ever planning to do so. By law, he's considered a tenant here, even though no bill is in his name and he doesn't pay any of them. All he had to do is stay here for over 30 days and receive mail. Women, beware of con artists!

amypollick August 6, 2010 @Anon101880: Please contact the National Domestic Violence hotline at 800-799-7233, if you are in the US. They can help you help your sister to get out of this. This is a toll-free call and a free service. Please call them. They can help you.

anon101880 August 5, 2010 My sister is getting beat up by her boyfriend. I have the temporary custody of her two children and he crashed her car. He has beaten her four times and he keeps looking for her and telling her if she loves him that he will kill her and her kids too, and if she calls the cops he said that he will make sure that she will die. She is so scared and I'm trying to help her but she said that she does not want to have any more problems. He told her that she needs to get away from her kids and he does not want her near them and if he sees her near her children that he will beat her up so she will not walk again. What can I do to help her?

anon100286 July 29, 2010 I'm 13 and my mums ex boyfriend keeps texting her, threatening and asking for money when she has just gave him the car (he brought half of it for her). he keeps sending abusive and threatening texts. please can you tell me how and if she can get a restraining order for him to have no contact with her?

anon97917 July 21, 2010 I'm only 14 years old. but there is a girl who is always threatening to kill me and have me breathing through a pipe and stuff, and things that are much worse. can i get a restraining order against her, even if her dad is a cop? i really need help!

help2435 July 21, 2010 I'm not sure if the actions of my ex amount to harassment, and I may just be overreacting, but I wondered if anyone could tell me. I broke up with him and a month later got with another man. We made attempts at keeping in touch as friends although this was unsuccessful. So I told him to keep away from me in every form as he was constantly trying to sabotage my life and was spreading rumours about my new partner. He kept away for a while and then came back trying again and stopped. It has now been nine months since I left him but he is still adamant on ringing and texting me and finding ways to contact me through social networking sites, but as my account is fully private he makes a thing of having a go when I comment on any mutual friends' wall. What actions can I take? I don't just want to go see a solicitor because I have no idea if I'm even right that this is harassment. I'm just worried it may cause more trouble for me doing so.

amypollick yesterday @Anon95833: Please contact the National Domestic Violence hotline at 800-799-7233, if you are in the US. They can help you find ways to get out of this. Please do this for the sake of your daughter, and for your own sake.

anon95833 July 13, 2010 I am a 20 year old mother of a two year old daughter. i am a mother full time and i work full time and go to school part time. i have been engaged to my daughter's father for the past four years and i pay all the bills, buy the food, and provide clothing and shelter for both my daughter and her father. he has not worked in almost two years and can't seem to wake up and realize that is what a man should do. when i try (and i have tried and tried for years) to explain to him that i cannot do this myself he gets violent. He hits me constantly and i am talking about abuses me. he puts me down mentally and i just feel like i can't do it anymore. i have called the police time and time again, I've tried to ask him to leave and he hits me and won't listen to me. i don't know what to do anymore. the cops tell me i should get rid of him but will do nothing to help me with this problem. i feel like i will be going through this forever. please someone, advise me on what i should do.

Help567 July 10, 2010 i dated a guy for almost a year and a half. i broke up with him because he had cheated on me so many times, during the relationship and he was very controlling and manipulative. after i broke up with him there were no immediate issues until about two months ago. he has vandalized my parents' cars, he has thrown sauce packets and stuck objects into my dad's gas tank. he sat outside my house, very late the other night for a while in his car. whenever i run into him in public he stares at me and laughs but i act like i don't acknowledge him and continue. he recently went into my workplace, where i have worked for a year now and asked if he would be able to get a job there. I really hate that he has damaged property that not only belongs to me, but also my parents. It is unfair. I don't want to have to deal with this anymore. Can i get a restraining order against him for these things, and will i have to have evidence?

anon93491 July 4, 2010 my brother hits me and my step dad shoots at me and it's making me feel suicidal. should i get an order against them?

anon93350 July 3, 2010 There are these kids that hang around on my grass because they talk to my neighbor and just outside my back garden they keep throwing stones and stuff into my house and have caused mishaps with the police. Nearly every day they are always there, can i get one against them not to hang there because they are causing danger?

lele80 June 29, 2010 So there's nothing I can do If I have no address for them to be served! That's horrible!

anon91909 June 24, 2010 my neighbours are a constant nightmare, banging on the walls, leaving rubbish in our drive area, loud shouting from 8 a.m. to 11 p.m., but recently their shed was burned down. Since they cleared the items that were not affected they just found some metal wire, and started clawing our family car. do you think it is a good idea of getting a restraining order?

anon91623 June 22, 2010 There is this guy I know who won't leave me alone and thinks I have been doing sexual things with a girl that he had sex with years ago. He thinks I chill with her every day and always asks questions about it. He just called late at night when my family was sleeping, after I specifically told him not to call because people are sleeping. I was trying to play world of warcraft while this was going on, and it screwed my game all up in 3v3 rated matches. His illness is trying to latch onto me. I need to get away from people like this because I know who I am and he doesn't realize that, because if he did, he would know who I am too, and a restraining order would help. No matter how many times I have truthfully denied it, he believes what he wants to. I don't like to criticize a person because no one is perfect and I have had my problems in the past but I got better.

anon91541 June 22, 2010 I have a question. My sister is only 17 and her ex is 21 and they have a kid together but my sister just recently kicked him out of the house because we were moving out of the old house and he decided to go drink instead of helping her move her stuff. So he did leave the house but just today he texted her, saying that he already has someone to help him with the problem of the baby. What is he trying to say with that? please i want to hear comments. Thanks for reading.

anon90839 June 18, 2010 My brother has been really vile and nasty and he use to hit me and threaten me and make my life hell and scared me and went schizophrenic and now he is in this place for bit but i don't want anything to do with him. and also i found out my real dad is a peadophile and raped a 14 year old boy and messed with his brother's kids and that's why i was adopted and he wants to know me but i think he sick and horrible and don't want him near me and i was wondering if i could get restraining orders for my brother and dad?

anon90543 1 hours ago I have two daughters and their mom was arrested for robbery and she has just bonded out and I have custodial custody of our children. DCF has been involved and i feel that they would be unsafe and I am not sure that she will not run with the charge since she has to go to court. can I get a restraining order?

anon89658 June 11, 2010 I have a three year old and I'm 20 years old. I was married to the father of my son but recently got divorced. He has a girlfriend and they have a kid together ass well. The girl is crazy. She has been arrested for hitting her own mother and she's constantly smoking. She has threatened me and even came to my house trying to fight me while my son was inside with me. Can i get a restraining order against her for my three year old? Thank you.

anon88246 June 3, 2010 OK, there is the guy at school he won't stop harassing me. Every day in first period he calls me out in front of the class and makes fun of the way i do my work or how I do something else. Any time I tell him to stop talking about me or to go away he worsens the situation. My first period class is SEA a teaching class for high school students. The first time he started calling me out on things was on a day when I was at an elementary school teaching and he came into the classroom and started to complain about how I was teaching and how bad my powerpoint and lesson were. He has started to get really bad lately, even to the point he is spreading rumors about me and my boyfriend around the school. The teachers nor the principals do anything. Is there any way that I could get a restraining order against him before I do something that will land me in prison?

anon87448 May 30, 2010 I'm only 14, and I've been going out a lot lately without my parents' permission. Just like last night. I had gone to sleep over at my friend's house without asking my mom. I didn't ask my dad because he had told me, "you're not my daughter anymore, whatever you do, you and your mom can die together, where ever you go do not ask me. I'm only here to pick you up after school, if you need anything don't ask me." That's what he had said so i never ask him for anything anymore. What i don't understand is that one day after school, he picked me up and i didn't go to the car because i was going to go hang out and serve detention maybe. He got out of the car and told me to get in the car. i told him i was going to go to detention, but i didn't tell him about the hang out part because he told never to ask him about it. So then he said. "if you don't get home in thirty minutes I'm going to call the cops on you." I didn't say anything back but in my head i was thinking, "you claim I'm not your daughter anymore so why do i have to ask you anything". I had slept over at my friend's house and didn't get home till late -- around 11-ish! The next morning my mom told me to get dressed and that we are going to the police station. We had gone and talked to a police officer and my dad was playing smart. My dad 