Meet Noah Smith. He allegedly burglarized a home in South Carolina on Saturday night. A scuffle with cops sent him to to emergency room, where a doctor noticed that Noah had a mouse in his rectum.


When police arrived on the scene — responding to a call about a break-in — Noah was lying down in the doorway, nude. But he stood up and "rushed" the cops; and also slapped, kicked and tried to bite the officers. They used pepper spray, batons and a Taser to "subdue" him. That's how he ended up in the hospital, where an emergency room physician "noticed a mouse hanging" from Noah's bottom. X-rays showed that part of the mouse was "lodged" in Noah's rectum. When questioned, according to the police report, Noah said "he did not recall what happened, nor did he remember any confrontation or prior dealings with law enforcement."

And here's the aha moment:

Officers were speaking to the individuals outside the residence [who] stated that the subject was most likely under the influence of mushrooms.


Not that shrooms explain the mouse, but… better than nothing.

Mouse Found Lodged Inside Naked Arrestee [The Smoking Gun]