Yeah. good luck with that. Photo by NPR

Without further ado, let’s dive in.

You’re Choosing a Corrupt Party Over the Welfare of Your Fellow Americans

Let’s just lay it on the line, kids. If you want to alleviate the hardships so many of your fellow citizens struggle with daily, electing more establishment Democrats is NOT the way to do it.

Allowing neo-liberals to continue their “centrist” bullshit is literally sentencing millions of Americans to death. More and more people every day can’t afford basic healthcare or crucial medications. This is a human rights violation of horrific proportions.

Why is the U.S. the only first world country not providing its citizens healthcare? Simple. It’s the worst nightmare imaginable for the oligarchy. The inevitability of Single Payer is a crushing blow for two corporate giants, the insurance and pharmaceutical industries.

Also worth noting is that a healthy populace is not tethered to shitty jobs just to keep their also shitty benefits. The freedom to be more discriminating regarding their employment options is not what the elites want for us. After all, sick and desperate people are far easier to control.

“No insurance? Off you fuck.” Photo by Readers Digest

Time to grasp that “incremental change” means “we will not piss off our wealthy donors so the peasants can have healthcare.” People are dying stupid, beyond needless deaths because insurance company CEOs “need” multi-million dollar bonuses on the reg.

All this while people are rationing their insulin and committing suicide rather than burdening their families with the cost of a major illness.

But who cares, right? “Screw it — I’ve got decent healthcare coverage — why should I want to give that up?” Well, because it would cheaper for virtually everyone, including your self-centered ass that puts “stopping Bernie” above the welfare of your family, friends, and fellow Americans.

Your innate sense of entitlement and careless cluelessness is nauseating.

Say it with me. You shouldn’t have to be wealthy to be healthy.

You Present No Factual Evidence When Denigrating Bernie Sanders

Photo by me.me

Never, in all my time fighting with idiots on the internet about politics, have I encountered a “Stop Bernie” Democrat that could present a cogent, fact-based argument to defend their constant assaults on Bernie. It’s always —

“I won’t vote for a socialist!” (Well, fine. Sanders isn't a socialist, and only in right-wing America would he ever be considered one. Next.)

“I hate his accent and crazy hair!” (I hate HRC’s pantsuits and the fact that she sounds like a screech monkey with its testicles on fire. What’s your point?)

And, my favorite:

“He made Hillary lose!” (Riiiiiiiight. Hillary wouldn't have even had the chance to lose if she and the DNC didn’t rig the 2016 primaries. Go away, silly person.)

Worse yet, when presented with proof of neo-lib Dem fuckery like voting records, donor lists, and footage of little kids and women being fondled by a creepy, old, waxen-faced perv, they accuse their adversaries of being big ol’ meanie liars.

C’mon. It’s easy enough to Google your candidate’s record for yourself. But you won’t, because it might poke a hole in your cozy, insular bubble. So you’ll just throw a baseless tantrum instead.

Congrats, great use of your time.

You Babble Incessantly About Unity When What You Really Want is Subjugation

That’s about right. Photo by The Cagle Post

It’s pathetically hilarious how establishment Democrats don’t see the irony of touting unity while proudly proclaiming themselves “Never Bernie.” You know, the dude who would allow them to relive the heady experience of winning the presidency instead of throwing the election to Trump. Again.

But … but …

“We have to stand together and fight against Trump!”

No, we need to stand together and fight for policies advancing healthcare and campaign finance reform, economic and social justice, and promoting green energy initiatives. Improving our faltering educational system, along with our crumbling infrastructure, is also more important than fixating on one bloviating, flatulent fuckwit.

Remember kids, active revolting is far more effective than passive resisting.

And incidentally, blaming Trump for our woes while your candidates are ideologically right in sync with him (again, simply peruse their readily available voting records and donor lists) bespeaks of world-class disingenuous derp.

Yet there is a clear path to ousting Trump. It’s the same one you rejected in 2016 — nominating the guy who was beating Trump by double digits.

Another hard truth for neo-liberal Dems to swallow: Bernie not being a Democrat is a huge part of his appeal. Accept it or die mad about. Either way, the fact remains.

You Absolutely Refuse to Learn From Your Mistakes

Photo by Daily PS

Remember how you guys told us that HRC was a shoo-in and that you didn’t need our stinking Bernie Bro votes anyway? The Democrats and the media preemptively proclaimed Hillary heir apparent to the throne, and all would remain status quo with the world (which of course is great if you’re white and wealthy.)

Uh-oh.

Plan A failed, but let’s pursue the same avenue this time and hope most of the country has been lobotomized since 2016.

Wait …what?

And let me riddle you this. Hasn’t it crossed your mind that Bernie Sanders would’ve been a far more popular nominee considering he was, and is, drawing Stones concert-size crowds yet HRC — and Biden — can’t even fill a high school gym? I totally suck at math, but even I can see that doesn’t add up.

All the MSM pollsters and pundits who proclaimed Clinton the front runner are currently using the same failed strategy with Biden.

I wonder why that is?

Maybe because he doesn’t “have time” to lay out a healthcare plan, dismisses young people as annoying whinebags, and thinks Dick Cheney is a swell guy?

It’s time for bold action, not more of the same lesser-evilism that’s brought us to the point where a goofball like Trump can attain the highest office in the land.