Books, hahaha! Streaming video? Whatever. But wine, the blood of Bacchus, harbinger of groping and maybe more? Now that's what we're talking about, Amazon—get dirt cheap bottles of wino sent straight to your door, you lush.


Starting today, anyone in California, Connecticut, Florida, Idaho, Illinois, Iowa, Nebraska, Nevada, North Carolina, Oregon, Washington, Wyoming and the District of Columbia can get up to six bottles in one order, with a shipping cost of just $10. You've got your reds, your sparklings, and you bet your silky bottom you can chug a rosé from Bezos, too. All in all, Amazon's now selling over a thousand kinds of wine. Some are just nine bucks.

You'll have to get an adult to sign for your shipment at the door, and you can't get bubbly sent to an Amazon Locker yet—it's almost as if the company foresaw the interest of underage kids—but if you're a teen living in an apartment building with a doorman or front desk that signs for all packages, prepare to be swimming in gallons and gallons of cheap wine. Thhsahnk youk,, intnernet! [Amazon]