Our health care has been memorably compared, by Jonathan Rauch of The National Journal, to the airline system. That made me wonder: What if the news industry were like our unreformed health care system ... ?

First, enjoy this column! We Americans have the greatest news care system in the world, and we in journalism are proud of the cutting-edge punditry that we provide.

Columnists in other countries simply scribble illegibly in notebooks, but here in the United States we administer CAT scans to interviewees, just to rule out the chance that our subject is dead. Expensive, yes  but we Americans must never settle for second-best.

But wait! Before you read this column, please fill out this 18-page questionnaire. And good news  if you already filled it out previously, then you only have to fill out seven additional pages. I pride myself on my efficiency.