ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A pub in our town’s closest capital city has dusted off their smallest television in the least trafficked part of their establishment today in anticipation for the State of Origin.

Douglas Pooley, the publican at the Free-Settler Autofellatio Inn in Adelaide’s leafy inner city, said that he tries to accomodate ex-pats from other state’s on Origin nights but admits other programmes and sports take preference in his part of the world.

“We’re going to be showing that cooking show on SBS Food with Maggie Beer and that little man she cooks with. It’s grouse,” said Pooley.

“Don’t worry, but. We’re showing the Origin in the pool room next to the shitters. Got drinks specials on, too. A pint of Coopers for just $14 and a Wednesday night roast special for another $64,”

“So we’re catering for everybody here at the Settler’s Autofell! Look forward to having some Betoota people in. This place is a favourite for people from your community.”

Our reporter thanked Mr Pooley then put the phone down.

After a short discussion with the other editorial staff, The Advocate can confirm that nobody had heard of Pooley’s distastefully-named pub.

More to come.