I’ve only slept with men I’ve been married to. How many women can make that claim?- Elizabeth Taylor

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VQeJr65CBVE[/youtube]

I’ve only slept with men I’ve been married to. How many women can make that claim?– Elizabeth Taylor

“Sluts can”! Is what I told Elizabeth on the set of “These Old Broads” and guess what kids she laughed. Elizabeth has a huge sense of humor to go along with her huge sex drive. I was lucky enough to get a small role in that made for television movie. I also served as Elizabeth’s pillow fluffier and jewelry attendant. She spent most of that stinker of a film sitting in bed eating toast and trying to figure out what jewels to wear for each shot. The gals got a lot of rocks to be cleaned, second only I’m assuming to the other Elizabeth across the pond. I was also assigned to protect Ms. Taylor from having to deal with Debbie Reynolds. Carrie Fisher wrote the script in an attempt to bring the two together to make light of the scandal of Hollywood sex and lurid affairs…

“I think that Debbie’s got a problem about that guy I married, what’s his name again MargOH!”?

I replied “Um Eddie Fisher”.

“Are you sure it wasn’t Eddie Albert?” he was cute

“No Elizabeth you married Eddie Fisher after your husband Mike Todd died in the plane crash” throwing my hands up a bit

“I’m not sure why this Debbie would be upset with me then?” handing me a glass asking me to refill her scotch

I scanned over the numerous bottles of pills on the nightstand “Are you sure you should be mixing all of these with scotch?”

“SCOTCH!” she demanded so I poured

“Now what about this Debbie? Why must all these girls be jealous of my marriages?”

“Debbie was married to Eddie”, I said

“Who Eddie Albert?” Liz burped

“No, Eddie Fisher”

“But you just told me I was married to Eddie Fisher?”

“You both were married to Eddie Fisher”

“He cheated on me?” she yelled and threw her glass across the room. “Is he still alive?”

“Yes, Ms. Taylor he’s alive! I’m not sure how you’re not going to deal with Debbie since you have scenes with her making fun of that scandal

“What scandal?”

“You and Eddie having an affair while he was married to Debbie”, I said

“What, I would never, more scotch!”

Its right here! Did you read the script?”

“No, I didn’t read the script, where are my glasses. If it’s in the script then it’s not true, its play acting so I never had an affair, glaring at me with defiance

I’m playing Meryl Streep, right”, she barked

“No you’re playing Beryl Mason” I slapped my forehead

“Who’s that? I wanted to play Meryl Streep, I even bought a blonde wig for goodness sake” wagging it in my face. Before I could respond she glanced over the script and started laughing…

“Yes, yes that’s right, I took this crap part because I want that Jonathan Silverman, he’s hunk, he reminds me of one of my husband’s… but I’ll have to marry him of course, send him in”. She snapped her fingers and out of the blue a Rabbi appeared but as I looked closer I think it was Shirley MacLaine in Rabbi Drag. She winked and nodded at me shaking her head.

Jonathan came in looking confused and as I cleared the room I heard him say “Miss Taylor it would be an honor to”…You can all use your imagination about what happened next…

I heard through the grapevine that every time Elizabeth wanted a man she sets up a mock wedding before she gets it on. She is very driven to stand by the statements she makes…and to protect her image…

After the film wrapped I was sent a lifetime supply of “White Diamonds” which I’m still trying to sell on eBay… The note attached thanked me for my service and keeping my mouth shut about “The Rabbi Incident”…

All I could think to say was “Poor Debbie Reynolds”…

*****

Elizabeth Taylor is an Icon and has managed to make a success out of a life that most would crumble under. Surviving numerous health scares including a brain tumor and bouts of pneumonia. She is also one of the few that made a transition from child star to a respected adult actress. Proving time and time again her worth in Hollywood with her Oscar winning roles in Butterfield 8 and Who’s afraid of Virginia Woolf.

At times Elizabeth Taylor became more known for her marriages than her movies. Eight in all but two to the same man Richard Burton. Somehow dealing with digs and tabloid fodder about her personal life with honesty and candidness made her a bigger star. After her movie career faded she reinvented herself as a business woman. She sold Jewelry and Fragrances under the Elizabeth Taylor brand, to this day her fragrance “White Diamonds” is still a top ten seller. Though I’m having trouble unloading that crap on eBay…

Dame Elizabeth is also a loyal friend and stands by them no matter what. She stood by Michael Jackson during both of his molestation trials and says he was not capable of hurting a child. She became a surrogate mother for Liza Minnelli after Judy died. When Rock Hudson became stricken with AIDS she was one of the first to bring attention to the disease. She helped start AMFAR and her own foundation The Elizabeth Taylor Aids Foundation. She has helped raise more than fifty million dollars for AIDS causes since the 1980’s.

She has packed a lot of living and fabulous into a life just turning 79 on February 27th…

She has been an inspiration while battling her demons in the public eye and never quite taking herself too seriously…I think that is the overall reason for the public’s love affair with her. She is as real as she can be and always with a wink and a nod and maybe a little denial thrown in for drama…ya think kids!

Happy Birthday Dame Elizabeth Taylor

*******

About 5 years ago I got an invite to Elizabeth’s house for a “These Old Broads” reunion party. I thought it was odd but thought I gotta go to this. Elizabeth wheeled herself out wearing a lovely purple caftan to match those gorgeous eyes and yelled “Geeeet oooooff your asses for this old broad”. Jonathan Silverman jumped to his feet, maybe hoping to get another piece, but everyone else just looked stunned. Then all at once Carrie Fisher, Shirley Maclaine and Joan Collins yelled

“Elizabeth where’s Debbie?”

Elizabeth simply answered “Who”?

We all looked at each other shaking our heads. Then Carrie said “Poor Debbie Reynolds”

I nudged Carrie ‘You should write a play about these wacko’s”

Carrie replied “Wishful drinking, cheers”

By MargOH! Channing

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=48HFYOMDNx8[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sXXXOxoNcPM[/youtube]