Arin: iPhone! iPhone! Android? Out the win doooooow!

I want, to sing. Amaaaaaz- Get the fuck out of my studio.

Arin: How can we sell these shirts for such a low price!? Jon: We can't! Arin: They're a normal price. Jon: Would you do it different? Arin: I wouldn't. Jon: Business.

Can I get you guys anything else? Like, uh, like... sugar? Honey? Salt? Bees? Cats?

*Singing* Baaaaabyyyyy, when I get that feeeelin' I wan—*Quickly steps into frame with a clueless grin* Sexual healing!*Beat*

Suzy : I'm so sorry, kids! Christmas is about love and joy and happiness, it's not about our differences but about our differences bringing us together! It's not about the gifts. It's not about gift cards or iphones or ipads or kindles or... Arin : Hey. Suzy : Yeah? Arin : They're all dead. *shot of Danny, Barry and Ross lying motionless on the floor* Suzy : What!? Why!? What would happen to our children, why would they happen...what happened like this!? Arin : I dunno. They're just dead. *loud sip of coffee*

Dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies.Aww.I know!How'd they die?Uh, car. Plane.They shouldn't have been driving.None of these things they should have been driving.

Suzy: I WANNA HAVE YOUR BABIES! Arin: ...I know! Danny: That was a huge revelation right there.

First thing that pops in your head, go!2.0.7 dollars.8 dollars.I was the highest without going over!What does that mean, what does that mean?I've got good news and bad news. Bad news, my dad doesn't know what Facebook is. Good news, he bought a shirt.(cue everyone saying "Good job." and giving awkward handshakes.)

Arin, narrating: Suzy looked over, and saw Arin was glum. She looked at his stupid old face, which was dumb.

Arin: Really guys? Who wrote this?

(Camera focuses on Barry and Brian in the background high-fiving and flipping him off.)

Suzy: We need to help Arin! He's being so lame!

Danny: Don't look at me, I don't care.

Ross: Yeah, same.