Hello posters of Netsdaily. I’m Coach Joe, and this is a little thing I wrote I endearingly call "The Flush". Cue toilet flush sfx.

Hey, the draft is 2 weeks away. Having draft picks in the late 1st round and the middle of the 2nd round means the Nets are going to be working out a lot of players I’ve never heard of. I can certainly admit that. I’ve been studying NBADraft.net and DraftExpress like I’m taking the NBA SAT’s in a few weeks. Is there a night class I can take at the local public school to get more serious about this draft thing? One of the main things I’m looking for in these mystery players is a DraftExpress highlight video on Youtube. I don’t know about you, but at this point Generic Hip Hop beat #13 is my JAM! Seriously, did they only buy the rights to one song, or was this just a royalty free situation?

Everybody looks good in a highlight package. I totally understand this. Sometimes I wonder If I would look good in a highlight package of my life. Not even from a basketball standpoint, but just a regular guy living a somewhat regular life highlight package. I totally nailed dinner last night. It was just some tilapia fillets, but my pan sauteed asparagus and cherry tomatoes with feta were the real strong point of the meal. My wife liked it, I liked it. I even cleaned up after I destroyed the kitchen making it. I don’t think I have very much upside in terms of cooking, but I think my limited skill set is polished enough that I’m ready to contribute from day 1.

When you try to figure out what the glaring needs are on this Nets roster, you quickly realize you can only draft so many players. We need a point guard with some athleticism. We need some perimeter defenders. We need some big bodied athletes who can board, run and rebound, and we need someone who likes Disney so Brook doesn’t leave us.

"Good work out, Rakeem Christmas! We’re so glad you could make it. By the way, Disney question for you. Frozen: Are you an Elsa or an Anna guy?".

Maybe Jimmy Kimmel’s buddy Guillermo was on to something the other night asking Kendrick Perkins what Disney princess he was.

Regardless, we have a lot of needs for a cash strapped team with very few draft picks for the foreseeable future. Where do we start? Mock drafts are no help. They’re all over the place. With so many needs on the roster I suppose that’s par for the course. Our front office isn’t exactly telling us much either. Unfortunately, there is no way to know the future outside of Game of Thrones’ Westeros. Unless you’re somehow a real life Stannis Baratheon and you have your own Red Witch on staff. But that end game seems to involve burning children alive. I usually try to avoid that topic when talking about basketball. Trash talk does get pretty heated sometimes though, so I can’t make any promises. I’ve clearly gotten off-track. Future. Unknown. Moving on.

Chris McCollough says Brooklyn is his home and would love to play here. Nice salesmanship by the kid, but his bum knee might turn us off a little. Do you know what happens in some homes when their kid leaves college early and knocks a girl up? They get thrown out into the real world. Good luck out there, Chris. It’s time spread your wings and fly.

Sergey Karasev, who turns out has been smoking cigarettes recently, the rebel he is, was apparently told by the Nets that they are after some "high profile" players this off season. I don’t think that’s even possible. Oh and he wants to start next year. It sounds like he may have been smoking something else besides cigarettes, or someone was blowing smoke up his somewhere-else. Or who knows, it could have all been lost in translation somewhere. Except the cigarettes. He was definitely smoking cigarettes. He’s Russian though. All Russians seem to smoke cigarettes. I hope it’s more of a phase than it is a permanent Russian rite of passage.

Markel Brown says he’s spending this off-season working on his point guard skills with the hopes of playing some backup PG. I’m trying to think of other point guards who didn’t learn to dribble until they were 23. Hm, believe it or not, none spring to mind. I wish him all the luck in the world, but I think Smokin’ Sergey might have a better chance of playing some minutes at point than he does. Developing a little bit of an outside shot for Markel Brown might help him "sparkel" a little more if you ask me, but at least he’s taking the initiative to do something and better his game. Think Sparkel Brown is a nickname that could stick? Me neither.

Maybe I’m wrong about everything. Maybe Rakeem Christmas is an Anna guy, just like Brook and they form an inseparable bond both on and off the court. Maybe Sergey quits smoking, the nets grab some superstars and he overtakes Joe Johnson as our starting SG. Hey, maybe Markel Brown is even our PG of the future and Chris McCollough brings a championship to his hometown Brooklyn. That’s all not very likely though. Which might make me right! Correct. Me. Who would have thunk it. That’s not something I can say too often. I didn’t exactly go out on any limbs, but I’ll accept being right whenever I can. Maybe The Flush is an alternate dimension when I’m always right.

The Flush: Where I’m Always Right.

Always.

I like the sound of that.