If there’s one favor you do for me, do not give any money to this movie. For three years, I dated (I won’t even call him a man) a monster who had me believing that I deserved the abuse I received at his hands. During intimacy, he would degrade me, slap me, and even choke me- once time I lost consciousness. And when I woke up, he was watching TV like nothing happened. The moment intimacy was finished, he was distant, verbally abusive, and on some occasions, even physically abusive. The thing is, I enjoy a little healthy BDSM- I think if you’re both into it, then hell yeah. Do what makes you happy! But there has to be a transition.

For three whole years, I remained under the thumb of this creature, hiding bruises on my neck, pretending I enjoyed what happened to me. Toward the end of things, what made me most uncomfortable, was that he wanted me to fight him. To pretend I didn’t want it. I was disgusted, and horrified. With the help of friends, I got the hell out. I packed my bags and never looked back at that train wreck. I hear, every once in a while, that he is dating someone- and I want so badly to look them up and warn them. But what do I say?

“Hey sorry to bother you- you don’t know me, but I have to tell you that your boyfriend is an abuser!”

Would they even believe me? I don’t think I would have.

When I see this hideous excuse for a movie interject its trailers between episodes of Law and Order: SVU (a freakin’ show about SEXUAL ASSAULT!!!!!) I get sick to my stomach. It’s very hard to talk about this part of my past, but it’s time to air my laundry.

50 Shades of Grey is romantic, cute, a love story , ABUSE.