The Pentagon has announced that their new missile system code named Double D Blaster originally to be deployed in the Middle East will be delayed. A spokesperson for the Pentagon said the delay has been caused by a shortage of silicone which is necessary for the guidance system. Apparently what has happened is that a subversive group of cosmetic surgeons, calling themselves the Back Street Boobs, have been diverting silicone from the Department of Defense strategic reserves and using it for their patients. In the interest of national security the Pentagon is asking that all women who have received the illegal silicone to replace it with another substance, perhaps playdough or silly putty. Furthermore, the military has been appealing to the patriotism of Nicki Minaj and Kim Kardashian in an effort to have them donate some extra silicone. With Kardashian alone they feel they would have enough to fulfill their needs.

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