Britons to seize historic opportunity to tell Nigel Farage to fuck off

The EU referendum represents a once in a lifetime opportunity to take control of insulting Nigel Farage, it has emerged.

According to experts, tomorrow’s vote is less of a debate on Britain’s future than an opportunity to tell UKIP leader, Nigel Farage, to get fucked.

Today, European leaders united in urging Britons to remember the principles on which the EU was founded, such as working together to achieve common goals and telling chain-smoking racists to go fuck themselves.

Referendum expert, Simon Williams, said, “Setting the persuasive economic arguments to love our more sophisticated neighbours to one side, Britain will wake on Friday morning to either of two plausible realities.

“One in which the downcast UKIP leader has been roundly told to fuck the fuck off, or another in which he enjoys a prolonged, ill-tempered orgasm on the GMTV sofa.”

Williams urged Britons to imagine a forward-looking country in which Nigel Farage isn’t constantly forced to appear on Channel 4 News in order to defend himself.

Others, meanwhile, see the referendum as the country’s best chance thus far to apologise to Krishnan Guru-Murthy.

Williams added, “This is about our children’s future, a future in which people are free to tell Nigel to fuck off without interference from Brussels.”

Last night, the Remain camp pledged to release an alternative version of Farage’s inflammatory “Breaking Point” featuring the words “Racism isn’t Working.”