TORONTO – Alex Bono was on top of the world a year ago.

The young goalkeeper was a key figure in Toronto FC’s historic 2017 campaign that saw the Reds set the record for most points in an MLS season, and win the Supporters’ Shield-Canadian Championship-MLS Cup treble. He started 29 games during the regular season and then all five playoff contests, making critical saves at key junctures, cementing his status as of the league’s best, up-and-coming shot-stoppers.

This season has been a different story for the 24-year-old goalkeeper from upstate New York. Bono has looked far from sharp during 2018, making a series of high-profile gaffes and errors throughout a campaign that sees TFC enter this weekend on the brink of being eliminated from playoff contention. Last season he had 10 shutouts, this year only three, and he’s been in net for most of the 57 goals thee Reds have conceded.

It certainly hasn’t helped Bono’s cause that he’s had to play in front of an ever-changing defence due to a rash of injuries, forcing coach Greg Vanney to chop and change his back line most weeks. But Bono hasn’t been the same player he was a season ago. In fact, he’s regressed.

It’s a hard truth that Bono has come to terms with, but it hasn’t been easy. He’s struggled mentally, dealing with a crisis of confidence that didn’t escape his coach’s attention. Noting that Bono was “living in his head,” Vanney benched him and started backup Clint Irwin for two consecutive games, on Aug. 29 and Sept. 1.

“For me, when you’re playing a professional sport, a very large percentage of it [is played] between the ears I like to think of myself as a mentally strong individual and someone who gets over mistakes quickly. Thus far in my career I had never had a stretch where no matter what I did and no matter what I tried whether it be training reps or meditation, I felt like I wasn’t [right] and then another mistake would happen,” Bono recalled during a lengthy and introspective chat with reporters this week.

“I respected Greg’s decision. As much as I didn’t want to admit it, I knew that I needed to reset myself and refocus myself, and go back to the basics. … Sometimes it’s good to get knocked down like that so you have that period of self-reflection.”

He later added: “It becomes less fun when you’re losing. It becomes less fun when sometimes you’re the reason that you’re losing.”

Before being benched, Bono admitted he was going through a tough stretch where he didn’t feel like himself. That’s when Vanney spoke to him about giving him a break. He used part of the time to meditate, which he found helpful in helping him regain his confidence. He also had long conversations with teammate Jason Hernandez, with the veteran defender giving the young goalkeeper advice on how to overcome his lack of confidence. He also continued his pre-game ritual of talking to his dad on the phone.

“I put it off for a while, thinking it was just a game here or a game there, that I made a couple of mistakes. I wrote it off to that. … I did some meditation, and I would go down [by Lake Ontario] and sit by the water and watch planes take off [from Billy Bishop Airport]. I detached myself from the frustration that I was going through, the frustration the team had with me, the frustration that the fans had with me, and just try to find in myself to say, ‘You got this. You‘ve done it before. There’s no reason why you should be in your own head,’” Bono said.

Getting out of town also helped. Bono was called into the U.S. national team training camp during the league’s international break earlier this month. Although he didn’t play in a pair of friendlies, the time away from Toronto helped him escape it all.

“Definitely a vote of confidence. For me, I looked at it as a little bit of separation that was good for me,” Bono admitted.

It’s interesting to note that the breaking point for Bono came on a goal that was actually disallowed. Late in the first half of a home game against Montreal on Aug. 25, the Impact cut through TFC’s defence before forward Alejandro Silva unleashed a routine shot on goal. Bono didn’t handle the ball, and it eventually ended up behind him. The goal was waved off for offside, and Toronto went on to win the game. But that was the moment that Bono knew he couldn’t continue on, and that something had to be done.

“That one was the icing on the cake. I can’t take it anymore. I need to do something to get myself out of this that maybe I haven’t tried before,” Bono said.

Since the benching, Bono has returned and started the last two games and, more important, he says he’s in a much better place than he was a month ago.

“A million per cent. A million per cent. In the Red Bulls game [a 2-0 loss last Saturday], I felt as good being on the field as I have in [a long time]. … I’m in a far better place now, and I feel close to being back to where I know I can be,” Bono offered.