We all know how dangerous a Pop Tart can be when a kid takes a bite out of it and runs around pretending it’s a gun. Little girls must be punished for bringing their Princess Anna bubble-guns to school, endangering everyone. And who wants to live in a world where a youngster can go to school wearing a t-shirt honoring our armed forces? Not me.

For the sake of future generations, we must vigilantly safeguard the innocence of today’s children. We must protect them from any reminder that guns exist. The latest threat to this fragile peace: those shadowy Danish arms dealers known as the Lego Group.

Kate Morrissey, San Diego Union-Tribune:

First, they found an uptick in angry faces on Lego mini-figures. Now, researchers in New Zealand have spotted another trend in the popular toy — increased weaponization.

Since the first Lego weapons came out in 1978, the percentage of sets including weapon pieces has grown from 1 percent of sets released that year to 29 percent of sets released in 2014, according to a study last month from the University of Canterbury in Christchurch…

According to the researchers, nearly 30 percent of Lego sets today have at least one weapon piece, and that doesn’t include self-styled weapons that can be built using multiple Legos.

This last point is very troublesome. If children are allowed to use their imaginations, what happens if they imagine building a deadly weapon out of tiny plastic blocks? We don’t allow it with toaster pastries or gun-shaped objects that emit soap bubbles, so why should we allow it with Legos?

Guns are bad. Therefore, anything that even vaguely resembles a gun is bad. And bad things are… well, they’re bad.

The Union-Tribune is trying to get a hashtag going on Twitter: #tweetalegoweapon. So far, this is the only entry:

Do you really want your kid playing with that? What if he gets his hands on a real cannon? What if his arm falls off? What will you do then?

Kids are sweet, innocent creatures without a violent thought in their precious little heads. They learn violence from things like Pop Tarts and Legos. There was no such thing as violence until our society infected their tiny minds with it. We need to put an end to this scourge while we still can.

Guns aren’t toys. And toys shouldn’t be guns. Think of the children.

(Hat tip: Twitchy)