Hey, remember all those stereotypes about the Stanford band that you had about them being vapid, horrible, self-absorbed little sociopaths? Turns out you were right! They are all awful, self-destructive soulless automatons who deserve nothing more than the swift kick of your boot up their sagging petards.

The Stanford band will be banned for a year from taking trips on the road, essentially for being some of the worst people on the face of planet Earth. The reasons stem from recreational alcohol and drug use to sexual harassment and hazing.

Reasons not listed include "terrible musical rhythm" and "providing propaganda for ISIS recruitment" while "utilizing standup material for performance that Carlos Mencia would throw in the garbage."

Since Big Game is at Palo Alto, we'll have to hear them at least once, but at least there will be no annoying loud brass infecting our eardrums at Haas Pavilion this year. Thank goodnesss for small favors.

Thanks to CGB reader and Cal Mic Man Isaac Williams for bringing this to our attention.

Here's a segment of the full statement from Stanford: