With thousands of Charleston-area residents marking themselves as “safe” on Facebook after Hurricane Matthew, a Summerville man who’s sheltering his in-laws has marked himself as “in danger.” Roger Franklin was forced to take in his wife’s parents over the weekend, and they show no signs of being content with anything or leaving anytime soon.

Roger was notified by his wife’s text message on Wednesday that her parents were coming to stay with them for the duration of Hurricane Matthew so they could get away from the potential flooding on James Island. The in-laws chose Roger’s house because it historically keeps power during major storms, even though they complain about how uncomfortable their beds are there.

Roger immediately knew the situation was bad within fifteen minutes of his in-laws’ arrival. “As soon as they walked in the door, they commandeered the TV to put on Fox News and started complaining about how salty our food was. That’s when I knew we were in trouble. They even implied the hurricane was Obama’s fault. How the hell is that even possible?”

Roger’s wife Amy said the situation has grown dire and supplies are running low. “They are consuming Keurig K-cups, hardboiled eggs, and cans of Easy Cheese at an alarming rate,” she said. “Once we run out those things, I don’t know what we’re going to do. We may have to do an emergency supply run on the dangerous roadways. At least it would give me the chance of getting away from the outrageously loud ringtones on their cell phones for a little while.”

Roger has been constantly refreshing his Chrome browser on the SCE&G webpage to find out the instant power is restored on James Island. Roger is expected to have a mental breakdown when it’s learned that his in-law’s house was destroyed by a flying trampoline during the storm, and they’ll be forced to stay with them for six more weeks.







