“Polyamory” has a rich history, and it's something many people practice. In fact, it was the fourth most searched relationship term on Google in 2017. Still, there are a lot of misconceptions out there about what it means to be polyamorous. As defined by Merriam-Webster Dictionary, polyamory is “the state or practice of having more than one open romantic relationship at a time.” However, many people who identify as polyamorous have clarified that while polyamory can be about romance or sex, that doesn’t necessarily mean it has to be. The root word “poly” comes from Greek, and means “many,” while “amorous” derives from the Latin word for love — so at its core, polyamory simply means to have many loves or to practice loving many people.

So what does practicing polyamory look like exactly, and how does it work? This, of course, can be different depending on who you ask. Everyone has the right to determine what and how their own relationships work. Still, Teen Vogue spoke with sex educator, podcast host of Sex Ed in Color, and writer Cameron Glover, as well as people who identify as polyamorous and non-monogamous to debunk some of the common myths surrounding it.

Polyamory itself is not so much about the amount of people you can have sex with or anything like that.

Polyamorous relationships can include sex, but they don’t have to be about sex.

Even though the assumption is often that polyamory is about having sex with a lot of different people, or even a few different people, that’s not the case at all, Cameron told Teen Vogue. In fact, most people who identify as polyamorous don’t practice polyamory to be able to have sex with different people. Being polyamorous is certainly about being open and getting to experience love and affection in many different forms with different people, but that doesn’t mean that you’ll engage with every person you enter into a relationship with in a sexual, or even physical, way.

“I like to think about it as polyamory is the umbrella and underneath it there is open relationships, swinging, all different kinds of non-monogamous relationships under the spectrum that can all co-exist,” Glover told Teen Vogue. “What differentiates polyamory is that polyamory itself is not so much about the amount of people you can have sex with or anything like that, but the amount of folks you can have and create substantial relationships with, that might include sex, but that can encompass other relationship components.”

Dillon, a gay man who ultimately identifies as single but also as polyamorous, confirmed that from his own experience.

“There is a couple that I am really close with and fond of. We have known each other roughly four years. Like any relationships, it evolved normally. We met, we connected very well and had similar interest. And over time the connection grew stronger and stronger,” Dillon told Teen Vogue. “I consider them family to me, which may sound like an odd concept. But that’s what I call them. These two in particular, we get together and have dinner almost once a week. I love to cook and they don’t mind when I try new recipes. I prefer a strong connection even with a one night stand.”

Of course, in the relationships that do include sex, it's important to discuss sexual health and protection with all partners. Any time you're having sex, it's essential to use protection, get tested, and communicate with any and all partners about risks and expectations.

Having an open relationship and being polyamorous are two different things.

Though both the terms “open relationship” and “polyamory” are broad terms, Glover explained, polyamory is essentially focusing on how many people you have the capacity to love and be with in various ways in your life. It doesn't require you to already have an existing relationship. Open relationships are usually more about having a primary partner and then other sexual partners outside of that.