* Ever been so high, you stood on an escalator a full minute before realising it’s broken?

* Ever been so high you can’t tell if the skunk smell is coming from outside or inside your apartment?

* Ever been so high and paranoid you hung up on the pizza guy, cause he knows too much about you?

* Ever been so high you could understand other languages?

* Ever been so high you’re halfway through dialing a ten digit number when you realise, you have no idea who you’re calling?

* Ever been so high, you confuse your surprise party to be an intervention?

* You ever smoked up so much, you hotbox the room so much, you get even the insects high, so the spiders are building really lazy webs with big gaping holes that a fly could fly a 747 through? The spider is up there on the wall, all chilled out, making a peace sign with four legs, saying, “Go ahead, Mr. Fly! We can all be friends!”

* Ever gone to your top drawer, you know, your pot drawer, found your little baggie empty, so scrape up the bottom of the drawer and wind up rolling up and smoking up your own hair?