My wife and I have been married for almost 10 years. She told me she was pregnant back in September and later that month she broke the news to me that it may not be mine. I am completely devastated. We had been trying to have a child for several years. She just had a dye test done on her fallopian tubes which usually cleans them out. A lot of people get pregnant right after this procedure. Well, two months later she cheats on me and is pregnant. Just got the results back from the DNA test a couple of weeks ago and the baby is not mine. I just don't know what to do.



cab802,I am so sorry that you are having to go through this...I have been through this same situation...You are not alone....First things first...The child.... At the time I found out she was pregnant, I had 2 other children...After MUCH prayer and talking to a councilor at church, I decided to try and forgive her. I told myself that I could have been a better husband (she had also told me that I caused her infidelity because I "ignored" her, which I did not) and that I also had 2 other children and did not want them to suffer.....She also told me that the guy who she had the affair with told her to get an abortion..She left me and as soon as she found out about the pregnancy he kicked her to the curb..How ironic...Anyway, she came home when he told her he wasn't looking for any children or a wife...But I digress..So, we decided to give it a shot...It went ok for a few years...It took me sometime to get over the situation, but with the Lord's help, I did...Well, fast forward 5 years...I had a regular job and owned my own business..I worked 7 days a week more or less..I did not enjoy it, but that is what it took to satisfy her spending needs (she later blamed that on our problems).. We went on a trip with a group I was involved with..She behaved VERY strange that weekend...I found her by the pool early in the morning with a guy in the organization (who happened to be a very nasty and deceitful person)...I did not like that, but she came to the room and apologized about something that had happened the night before (falling asleep and embarrassing us both with something she did) and assured me nothing was amiss and that they were just talking... Then something strange happened..We did what married couples do. Which was odd..She had not done that in years..Initiated the contact I mean...Well, we returned home and on Monday..I got a call about our mortgage being behind 2 months...I tried to contact her but she was nowhere to be found..Cell phone, pager, etc...When she came home, I confronted her about the mortgage issue and she right smartly told me she wanted a divorce...It did not take much to figure out what was going on...She had been with that guy...Let me shorten this...She did file for divorce...She threw me out of my own home...She financially ruined me...And she informed me that my middle son was not mine either...I felt like I had been shot in the gut....I could not eat or sleep....So I had to face the reality that I had 3 son's..2 of which were not biologically mine....What would I do? She pretty much set the tone early...She said if I tried to buck her at all on child support or tried to bring up the paternity issues that I would NEVER see them again....I tried to stand up to her once...I told her, "You know all I have to do is have them tested"..After I said that she told my 5 year old that I did not want to be his Daddy anymore...I begged her to stop. He was crying and upset...So, I cried at the thought of my boys being hurt...She told me, and I will never forget it, "Do not ever try to play ******* (very bad word) games with me again, or I will not hesitate to tell them..." At that point I knew I was had...I love them to much to see them hurt...Well, that was almost 8 years ago...My boys are 15, 14, 12...I pay out the nose in child support...I am remarried (happily I might add) and we have turned our marriage and our family over to the Lord for his protection...I adopted my wife's daughter so I have 4 now...I have been her Dad since she was 4...As a couple we decided that we would do what was right for the children...Follow the Lord's will....We do everything for them and it cost us a small fortune...We have no money, etc...But we are the only stable part of their lives...She (the ex-wife) has continued to live her life for herself...Married and divorced again...Adultery, etc.... Nothing has changed...But I get to see my boys every day...My oldest and only biological son lives with us and I am hoping and praying the other two will follow....But I do not regret it for one minute...Any man can donate sperm..But it takes a real man to be a father...I love them...You have probably just read this and are thinking, My gosh why did he say this? Well, it is simple...No matter what you decide to do, that child is yours, if choose to have him/her....You can stay and it may mean everything to her that you accepted what she had done and you may live happily ever after...Then again, you may stay together only to end up like me..To find out she used you...She may have multiple affairs...But if you do what the Lord would have you do and concentrate on your own spiritual life, you will be fine...The child is innocent...I wondered many times how it would work out....She has threatened many times to tell them...She probably will tell them eventually..But the Lord will be served..I have nothing to hide or fear...When (I know she will) she tell's them, it will back fire on her...I have raised my children to see things the way they are...I really believe they will say, "Wow, what a man he is for doing that". I have put up with her telling my children that my daughter is the spawn of Satan...(Yes, she actually said that) She told my youngest son that it did not matter if I adopted my daughter because she doesn't have "my blood" in her.... She told him to tell her that...So, my nonbiological son told my 8 year old (at the time) adopted daughter what his mother told him to say...Cute huh?Well brother, I will be praying for you and I hope you find some help in what I have written..Sometimes it helps to know you are not the only one who has faced this decision...But, if the wife is willing to let you raise the child, I would do it...But remember, if you choose to accept it, accept it and move on...If you do not think you can forget what she has done, well pray about it....Then move on if you know it is over...But remember, the child is innocent...