It’s hard to be in a place where so many people surrounding you are in pain. People who are bitter or broken, scarred from all the ways they’ve been hurt. This, of course, often includes me, because I definitely hurt a lot.

Christians see it as their duty to “save” everyone, but they don’t understand how much harm they can cause by attempting to do so. Many Christians make others feel out of place, flawed, in their attempts to “save.” Those who are hurting the most are pushed farthest away.

So here I am putting in my two cents, this is what I believe: It isn’t our “duty” to save. We aren’t doing humanity a favor by going around screaming “YOU ARE GOING TO HELL” in everyone’s faces, or secretly scorning that gay couple walking down the street because “God hates gays.” That just isn’t true, and it hurts you and everyone else way more than you know. So,

Instead of talking generally and acting like I know so much about an eternal being that I could never understand (especially with my incredibly small mind), I’m going to explain what God is to me, why I rarely bring up my faith in conversation with people who aren’t Christians, and why I would never say things like “you’re going to hell.”

God HELPS me. How I feel when I’m close to God is a joy, a comfort, a love that I could never explain.

I don’t care about your lifestyle. That part of you isn’t any of my business. I just wish I could share my joy with you. Because even though hurting comes, and gosh does it come, I still always have this sense of peace when I listen to a gospel song or read a verse of scripture. And it is the most amazing thing. I just want to be able to share that. I want to know that when you go back home and sit on your bed, even if you scream and cry like I do (all too often), when those waves come, you can experience the feeling of turning on a gospel song and knowing that ‘wow, God is here.‘

Because that’s why I’m a Christian. If I speak about my faith, I’m not doing it because I want some invisible medal or to give my pride a pat on the back. I’m not doing it because I’m trying to change you or force something on you. I am only speaking because I’ve been on every end of the faith spectrum, from talking-to-God-every-minute to faith practically non-existent, and the only thing I will ever be able to say with complete confidence is that my God HELPS me, and my God LOVES me. And even though I stray a lot, I always find myself coming back.

I don’t talk about my faith because I know that’s the best way to make a person feel self-conscious. Christianity is known for being the religion that has been shoved on everyone. I don’t shove because if my God makes me feel accepted and loved, why would I go a route of speaking about my faith that makes people feel the opposite of accepted and loved?

My God is a God of love and peace. My God is a God of comfort. My God is real simply because I know He is, I experience Him. If you don’t believe me, it is totally your choice. I absolutely respect that, and I love hearing others talk about what they believe even if it differs from my beliefs. I just wanted to clear the air and express how I get through those dreadful spells of depression, my everyday anxiety, and panic attacks that come at random. Because when something works in your life, don’t you want to talk about it, too?

