Washington Wizards Player Grades: Week 22

Ah, there’s nothing like playing the 76ers and Knicks back-to-back to cure all ills, is there?

Yeah, the Washington Wizards lost their only tough game of the week – as it turns out, John Wall can’t in fact beat the Houston Rockets entirely by himself – but at least the Wizards were able to coast to two wins over two of the NBA’s worst teams, ensuring a desperately needed winning week.

D.C. is two games out of the fourth spot with six games left in the season, and it’s still entirely possible that they could snag home court advantage out of thin air. It’s been a very up-and-down season, but we could be in worse spots.

Let’s grade.

Mandatory Credit: Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

John Wall: 14.7 PPG (39.0 FG%), 4.7 RPG, 15.0 APG, 2.3 SPG

No, that’s not a misprint: John Wall actually averaged 15 assists a game this week.

Of course, tossing John Wall at the 76ers and Knicks is like clubbing a baby seal, but DC’s point guard was absolutely graceful in his effortless demolition of the opposition this week. Wall set a personal best with 18 assists against New York (in only three quarters!) and put up a downright superheroic performance against the Rockets in the Washington Wizards’ only loss of the week.

Had Wall actually played his usual fourth quarter minutes against the Knicks and Sixers, he might have had back-to-back 20-assist games.

The franchise record for assists in a single game belongs to the great Kevin Porter, who dished out 24 against the Pistons in 1980 – I think we’ll see John Wall break that mark before his time in DC is done.

Grade: A

Mandatory Credit: Brad Mills-USA TODAY Sports

Bradley Beal: 17.7 PPG (44.7 FG%), 4.0 RPG, 3.3 APG, 1.0 SPG, 1.0 BPG

Bradley Beal’s 3-point total for the three games he played this week: 3-10. Excuse me, I’m gonna go puke in a bucket for 15 minutes.

OK, I’m back.

We can whine about Randy Wittman’s abhorrent misuse of Bradley Beal all day long, and we pretty much already have, so what’s the point? We should be happy that the Big Panda is still getting his, even though he’s not putting up threes at the rate he should. And if you want to see just how much separates the 76ers from an actual NBA team, look no further than Beal’s block and dunk that he pulled off Wednesday night.

Grade: B+

Mandatory Credit: Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

Otto Porter: 16.0 PPG (57.1 FG%), 7.0 RPG, 1.0 APG, 1.7 SPG

Breaking News: Otto Porter Good At Basketball, I Will Fight Anyone Who Says Otherwise.

I have zero idea what Randy Wittman was trying to accomplish by sitting Otto for so long, and it makes no sense on a bunch of different levels.

For one, Paul Pierce has been awful for a while now, and the pairing of Rasual Butler and Martell Webster has been awfuller for even longer now. But it wasn’t just the fact that Otto’s replacements were disastrous. It was the willful ignorance of everything Otto brings to the table – he’s proven himself to already be an NBA rotation player, and he’s one of the only players on the team who hasn’t reached his ceiling.

The Washington Wizards need young legs. And flapping his spindly limbs like a peregrine falcon, Otto Porter will carry us to glory.

Grade: A

Mandatory Credit: Tommy Gilligan-USA TODAY Sports

Nene: 7.0 PPG (50.0 FG%), 6.0 RPG, 1.5 APG, 2.0 SPG

Any week where the Washington Wizards only need Nene to play 45 total minutes is going to probably be a good one.

The big Brazilian finally got to rest his eternally tender feet, playing just 12 minutes against Philadelphia and sitting out the Knicks game. Let Lord Nene chill until the playoffs, and let the Nene beard acquire more Touch of Grey. Look at how refined Maybyner Rodney Hilario looks. He’s got a Jedi Master vibe about him.

Nene wanders the moors and hills, owning only his walking stick and a roughspun robe, living in communion with the earth. Soon, the day will come that he will take an apprentice, and impart him with ancient strength and the mysteries of life. He will teach him… how to Nene Jam.

Grade: B-

Mandatory Credit: Brad Mills-USA TODAY Sports

Marcin Gortat: 16.0 PPG (64.7 FG%), 10.0 RPG, 1.0 APG, 2.3 BPG

The Polish Hammer continues to smash, reaffirming that the simple formula for happiness is Give Gortat Ball -> Buckets.

Matching the confidently skilled and smooth Gortat against hapless oafs like Andrea Bargnani and Lou Amundson is a mismatch to end all mismatches. Also, Gortat did the egos of Washington Wizards fans everywhere a huge service this week – the combination of Otto Porter’s big week and Gortat’s vicious clowning of young Nerlens Noel on Wednesday made everyone feel 1000% better about the 2013 draft.

Now let’s run some friggin’ pick and rolls, OK?

Grade: A