7. Rudy Giuliani (2008): Local politician turned 9/11 hero thinks cross dressing, bullying minorities and kissing George Steinbrenner's ass makes him ready for the Oval Office.

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6. Jack Herer (1988, 1992): If your MySpace default photo is a huge nugget of hydroponic weed, you probably shouldn't be running for president. If your nickname is "The Emperor of Hemp," you really shouldn't run.

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5. H. Ross Perot (1992, 1996): This Dallas-born billionaire had the voice of a Texan duck and looked a lot like Yodaâ€”but with slightly bigger ears. More importantly, his economic plan seemed to have been put together by MC Hammer.

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4. Michael Dukakis (1988): The original Bush loser. This Massachusetts governor's campaign unraveled after an infamous photo of Dukakis at the helm of an M1 Abrams tank began to spread. The picture was intended to say he would be a no-nonsense president. It became a punchline and led to his defeat.

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3. Gary Hart (1984, 1988): This Colorado senator/adulterer was like "Slick Willieâ€ Clinton, without the slickness. In 1987, he was photographed on a yacht with 29-year-old Donna Rice on his lap. The girl? Not his wife. The boat? The Monkey Business.

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2. Lyndon LaRouche (eight-time candidate): An alleged anti-Semite and fascist, LaRouche served more than five years in prison for fraud. That means this kooky conspiracy theorist couldn't even vote for himself in certain states.

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1. David Duke (1988): A former Grand Wizard of the Ku Klux Klan, Louisiana politician David Duke fell even further following his futile candidacy. Duke was assassinated in a Public Enemy video and ended up as his own bodyguard's campaign manager. â€”Louis Grand

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