1. On audience participation: "I cringe when I see these bands doing all that 'Everybody over here get your hands up!' shit. Fuck off. I’m not arsed where I am or even why you lot [the audience] are here. I’ve made a record, you’ve come to see me play it live. The end. Now buy a T-shirt on the way out and fuck off."

2. On interviews: "I have an opinion on everything, and if I don’t have an opinion, I’ll fucking make one up on the spot."

3. On writing an autobiography: "Yes, I'll do one. No, I won't do a Wayne Rooney and write six."

4. On his biggest hero: "My mum, because she brought Liam Gallagher up. I mean, fuck me."

5. On litter: "I don't like litter. I like that Singapore thing. You know – you get caught dropping litter you get your head chopped off."

6. On music reviews: "I reckon if Thom Yorke fucking shit into a light bulb and started blowing it like an empty beer bottle it’d probably get 9 out of 10 in fucking Mojo."

7. On artist-against-artist beef: "You can say that you respect someone as an artist a thousand times and it will never get reported. But you call someone a cunt once…"

8. On people who work too hard: "I don't like workaholics. Don't fucking trust them. Why are they working? I don't trust busy cunts. That's how wars start: busy fuckers."

9. On Keane: "Traditionally speaking, the three biggest twats in any band are the singer, the keyboardist, and the drummer. I don’t need to say anything else."

10. On his mum: "Hard work and a fucking filthy tongue, that’s what I inherited from my mum. She taught the nineties how to swear."

11. On his dad: "My old man invented road rage. When the new Ford Sierra came out it was a big thing. I remember him calling a guy in the street out of the window, 'You fucking Sierra-faced bastard!' That’s poetry, man."