Today, in "dumb adults take made-up activity too seriously and behave inappropriately as a result": a high school senior in Pflugerville, TX, faces suspension from her cheerleading squad because she has to miss a practice in order to take the SAT.


Ally Batista, the cheerleader who also occasionally takes standardized tests that are a necessary part of most college applications, has already missed TWO practices (last spring), so she is in serious shit with the coach via the team's "three strikes" policy. Under this binding and historical contract, cheerleaders are obligated to miss no more than two practices, or they shall face suspension from the team for three weeks.

Of Ally Batista's two previous truancies, one occurred because she had a lead role in the school play. This upcoming SAT exam date is her last chance to take the test before the deadline for early admissions college applications rolls around. I know, I know, we are all thinking the same thing — ALLY, HOW COULD YOU BE SO SELFISH? WHERE IS YOUR TEAM SPIRIT, ALLY?


Ally says that the punishment is "ridiculous." She adds, "My priority is school and I am taking the SAT regardless." Although Ally's mom contacted the school's principal and the cheerleading coach, no one was responsive. "I feel that they had their minds made up," she told KXAN. "They were going to punish girls who took the test. The coach only responded briefly to me via e-mails, she hasn't returned my calls."

In a statement, the school district wrote:

We believe it is a mischaracterization to say that any student is being punished for taking the SAT. When cheerleaders miss a scheduled event for any reason they are aware there will be disciplinary consequences.

Translated into layman's terms, the statement reads, "It is a mischaracterization to say that we are punishing students for taking the SAT. What we are doing is merely punishing students for taking the SAT."

Ally isn't sure whether she'll rejoin the squad after her suspension is up; it goes without saying that forcing young women to choose between cheerleading and their academic career in a school setting is insane and idiotic. She hopes to get into Purdue, where she plans on double majoring in computer science and international business (with a minor in skipping cheerleading practice like a depraved truant).


"Taking test would net suspension for cheerleader" [KXAN]

Screengrab via KXAN.