Just when we thought that working in call centres was getting easier, here are some examples of the kind of calls we’re receiving…

Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”

Customer “Ok.”

Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”

Customer: “No.”

Tech Support: “Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”

Customer “No.”

Tech Support:: “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this

point?”

Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”

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Customer: “I received the software update you sent, but I am still getting

the same error message.”

Tech Support:: “Did you install the update?”

Customer: “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”

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Customer:: “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”

Tech Support:: “Tell me what you’ve done.”

Customer: “I typed ‘A:SETUP’.”

Tech Support:: “Ma’am, remove the disk and tell me what it says.”

Customer:: “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”

Tech Support:: “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”

Customer:: “What?”

Tech Support: “Did you buy MS word?”

Customer: “No…”

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Customer:: “Do I need a computer to use your software?”

Tech Support:: ?!%#$

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Tech Support:: “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see

the ‘OK’ button displayed?”

Customer: “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”

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Tech Support:: “What type of computer do you have?”

Customer:: “A white one.”

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Tech Support:: “Type ‘A:’ at the prompt.”

Customer:: “How do you spell that?”

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Tech Support: “What’s on your screen right now?”

Customer: “A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the grocery store.”

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Tech Support:: “What operating system are you running?”

Customer: “Pentium.”

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Customer: “My computer’s telling me I performed an illegal abortion.”

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Customer: “I have Microsoft Exploder.”

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Customer: “How do I print my voicemail?”

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Customer: “You’ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to print document,

but the computer won’t boot properly.”

Tech Support: “What does it say?”

Customer: “Something about an error and non-system disk.”

Tech Support: “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”

Customer: “No, but there’s a sticker saying there’s an Intel inside.”

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Tech Support: “Just call us back if there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours.”

Customer: “Is that Eastern time?”

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Tech Support:: “What does the screen say now?”

Customer: “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”

Tech Support:: “Well?”

Customer: “How do I know when it’s ready?”

The following comments have been added:

I had a customer complaint the other day for a major supermarket. When a product is unavailable we we send the next best thing. The woman who rang in to complain had ordered a batch of strawberry jelly, and we did not have that in stock. When the products arrived at her door she discovered that the item they had replaced the jelly with was KY Jelly!!! (posted by Roy)