https://www.youtube.com/embed/mspnr56tnLA

"Do you feel safer today than you did yesterday? I know I don't." That's Samuel L. Jackson—not Rudy Giuliani—in the just-released trailer for xXx: Return of Xander Cage, the sequel to a totally un-Googleable 2002 Vin Diesel action flick, and a movie that we can only barely remember, save for a few Jason Bourne-like clues: Prague... Argento... snowboard... EXTREME? It all adds up! Well, not really. But we do recall that the first xXx, which reunited Diesel with Fast and the Furious director Rob Cohen, was a waaaaay goofy, very dumb-fun spy thriller that found Diesel smirking, shooting, and sky-diving his way around parts of Europe, and that it made almost $150 million in the US. The first xXx was so big, there was even a Vin-free sequel, xXx: State of the Union, starring Ice Cube (that movie grossed a mere $12.7 million in its opening weekend; suffice to say, for Cube, that Monday wasn't a good day).

But, really: How much do you really need to know before seeing xXx: Return of Xander Cage? As the new trailer demonstrates, this is a movie in which Vin goes skiing off a satellite tower and into the jungle; in which costar Donnie Yen just flies through the air and kicks things; in which people surf using motorcycles. Do we really care about deep-canon xXx knowledge? No. Will we see this movie when it comes out next January? xXx-actly.

Essential Quote: “Let me summarize: Kick some ass ... and try to look dope while you do it.”—Agent Augustus Eugene Gibbons (Samuel L. Jackson)