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Long Island police are on the hunt for a man who stole a puppy by stuffing it into his jeans. If that sounds suspiciously Onion-esque, just rewind the security tape footage, which very clearly features the following sequence of events: man attempts to open a cash register, man fails, man scrambles to save face, man places a puppy down the front of his pants instead, man walks out like he owns the joint.

This bizarre sequence of events began on June 23, when two men entered the Zoorama Pet Store in Elmont, NY, just east of New York City. One distracted the clerk with questions about potential pets, while the other headed right for the cash register, the New York Post reports. When that plan didn’t work out, he decided to think on his feet and grab a 10-week-old Pomeranian puppy and stash it in his jeans. It turned out to be a potentially profitable move for the robbers, as the young puppy is worth $1,000.

Store owner Harsha Perera, 54, said the female Pomeranian, who weighs less than two pounds, is fragile and requires special care. Perera is offering a $500 reward for her return.

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