Why do ordinary, respectable men visit prostitutes? These interviews with customers at Australian brothels provide a rare insight into how some men see not just sex, but women

I've been married once and I don't want to do that again. I don't want to get involved in another relationship. It would just complicate my life. This is an ideal solution. You know, males have their sexual needs and this takes care of them.

I can assure you this is a damn sight cheaper than wining and dining a woman, like men usually do. I would have to spend hours on all the bullshit you have to talk. This is good value. It's neat and tidy. You walk out the door and you're free. Physically, emotionally, in every way.

I probably come here about once a fortnight, just a short visit, you know, in and out. I try to see the same woman each time, mainly because I like her. Sandy has a nice personality. I find her attractive and her reactions are good. She satisfies my sexual needs. I reckon I must have been seeing her for about two and a half years. If she moved parlours, I'd follow her.

I think Sandy enjoys the sex we have, because I always treat her well. But even if she wasn't enjoying it, it wouldn't put me off - as long as the reactions were OK, as long as she didn't start eating an apple or reading a book or something. That would be a bit off-putting. Short of that, I'm not bothered.

When I first decided to go to a prostitute, it was pretty traumatic because you're supposed to just walk in and get on with it. But as long as the female's responses are right, then that first anxiety is easy to overcome.

I came to brothels all through my marriage, even when I was having an affair. It wasn't that I wasn't being satisfied - I was - but males have an urge. Every now and then I have a need, a craving, for a different female.

Sex doesn't necessarily mean anything to a male. I mean, it might develop into something, but initially it doesn't mean anything other than sheer excitement. But I don't think women understand that.

Angelo, 23, computer programmer

Why am I here? I don't come here for the conversation, that's for sure. I walk in, pay my $120 and have a bloody good time. No questions asked. I don't care who I see or what she looks like as long as she isn't fat or horrible, and doesn't stink. She can be old, though not much older than, say, 35.

If I want to have anal intercourse, or something a bit different, I can generally have it here. Seriously, women's bums are cute. I love them, and occasionally I want to screw them. There's nothing wrong with that, except not many girls will let you. They've got hang-ups about it being dirty, which it isn't, or that it might hurt.

Here, I know that, within reason, there won't be any problem. That's the thing about paying money: you're the boss. The customer is always right.

The other thing about being here is that the sex is better, and that's a fact. It's always better with a whore.

The only real problem with being with a whore - and this is a minor one, but I'll say it - is condoms. They always say you have to wear them. If I have girlfriends who want to use condoms, I say: "No way!" But in these places the girls supply them and it's the rules.

I've got a steady girlfriend at the moment, pretty serious. She's Greek, so my parents are happy. We'll probably get married. The only problem is sex. She was a virgin before me and she's a bit nervous about it and won't do a lot of things. But then you'd expect that. I would probably be suspicious if she was too eager or knew too much. It's nice, actually. Deep down, I don't like the idea of being with used goods.

I don't get embarrassed about coming here. Never have. My mates know about it; they come too. I don't tell my girlfriend because it's different with women. Anyway, it's none of their business. It'll be the same when I'm married.

Dominic, 39, builder

In a way, I think this helps my marriage. Sometimes my wife doesn't want to have sex. It could start an argument. But I come here and that's it - we don't have an argument.

Edward, 44, truck driver

I've been coming to parlours off and on for the past 20 years. I don't go to a different girl every time. If I have one I like, I stay with her. I don't know what it is about the girl I usually see here that attracts me. She's nothing like my wife. She's younger and smaller, and she does different things without whingeing. My wife won't do oral sex. She just reckons: "Yuck!" I can see her point there.

Being with these girls does make you feel pretty good as a bloke, as a lover I suppose. It's just a good feeling, a good physical sexual feeling. And paying for it doesn't take any of that away. I suppose I do think of myself as a good lover and I reckon that both of us are getting something out of it, not just me. I presume the women here would think that.

Maybe some of them enjoy being with me, maybe some don't. I don't know. I think I'd be able to tell if they didn't. Although I suppose it's only a job to them, isn't it? Could make it hard to tell. I'd hope the one I was with would enjoy it. She said she did. If I knew that she didn't like it, I wouldn't come back.

Jack, 70, pensioner

My wife is deceased and I still have some sexual urges, so about once a month I come and see Marnie. She's a very sweet young lady. I stay for about 20 minutes and spend about $60.

When my wife was alive, that was it for me. There were no other activities. I didn't look for it.

The sex I have here is fairly ordinary. Nothing kinky - none of the things you read about. I don't know if Marnie physically enjoys what she does with me. If she enjoys some part of it or a portion of it, then it is more fulfilling for me.

I also like to talk with her a little. Not a lot; I'm aware that my life is very boring to her, but I'm interested in her and I like to hear how things are for her.

Spiro, 36, public servant

When you get to my age and you've been engaged two or three times, you realise it's a waste of time trying to be with women. It's cheaper this way. With a wife and kids you have to feed, clean and clothe them. It's not worth it.

If I have a bit of free time, I come here about once a month - that's all. I have a different one every time, usually for just half an hour, just normal sex, that's all, nothing different. That means they give me a back rub, they give me oral sex and then they get on top and they have intercourse with me, and I have a good time.

But now it's getting like the women here think they can order me around, saying they won't do it without a condom. That was the final thing for me. Well, they're not my rules and I'm the only one who can protect me. In the end I found one who will take a little bit more money instead of using a condom. They've all got their price.

It might sound crazy, but this is really the only place where I feel I can be a man, the way men are supposed to be, without feeling guilty or that I'm a social misfit.

Liam, 26, banking loans officer

I would see a prostitute about once a month, sometimes more, depending on my own social life, which is pretty dull at the best of times.

This may sound horrible, but I consider sex to be a chore. The pleasure for me is more the back rub, because I can't do that myself. If I'm sexually frustrated, I can masturbate, it's no problem. But it's not all that much fun, is it? I mean, that is a chore, so it's preferable to be with someone else.

As far as sex goes, I don't feel I've ever satisfied a girlfriend of mine, to be honest. I wouldn't know anyway, I really wouldn't. I'm not familiar with biology in any sense.

Some of the prostitutes I've been with have enjoyed it, though. I think they have. I hope so. I guess the truth is that women frighten me.

Kevin, 43, business manager

I'm not so much into being beaten or whipped or tied up, as wanting the woman to be the person who calls the shots, so to speak. I am in a relationship where we are equals, even sexually, although I'm the one who has to initiate sex. I don't know why women are like that, and to be honest, it can be a bit of a drag always having to be the one who seduces.

Here, I know she wants it, because she is dictating the terms. I am the one who is submissive and I have to do what the woman wants. The actual woman - what she looks like or who she is - is not important to me.

I come here about twice a month. It's part of my secret life. I don't actually want it to be so covert; I'd like to be able to tell people. I'm not ashamed of what I do here, but I know that they wouldn't see it as I do. My partner would just freak out. It's funny, because we've had conversations about prostitution in which she has spoken passionately about not judging the women or the men. She lectures in women's studies and I suppose she is philosophically geared to believing the sex industry should be free to operate. When she goes on about it, it's on the tip of my tongue to say: "I'm glad you feel like that, because I see a prostitute regularly." Obviously, I stop myself. I'm aware of the double standards we all live with.

Ian, 30, factory worker

In the past six months I've been separated from my missus and I've only had sex three times. Women would think, "So what?" But men need it more. I think it's just part of nature. If you don't have sex for a while you sort of blow up.

· These interviews are edited extracts from Conversations in a Brothel, published by Hodder Headline Australia, priced $22.95. © 2002.