Gimme Some Sprinkles, Baby

2nd place in Derby #195: Zombies! Zombies! Zombies!, with 828 votes!

Cute shirt, jerk. Yeah, you heard me. You think that shirt is funny or something? You think your little undead cupcakes are going to put a smile on the face of anyone here? Well let’s fine out, shall we?

Hey, Peter! Check out the shirt on Mr. “Just Made It To The Outpost”! I bet your family would have a nice little giggle over it, don’t you think? Why don’t you call them over to see…

Oh wait. They’re all dead.

Well what about you Susan? You were a baker before the zombies destroyed civilization, weren’t you? Doesn’t the newbie’s shirt make you want to LOL all over the place?

That’s right. I forgot you found your employees and new fiancée all eaten and in pieces just outside your bakery. My bad. I guess they’ll just have to miss out.

You know, new guy, it’s bad enough people like you never learned to take the idea of a zombie apocalypse seriously when you had the chance. “Teehee, I’ve got a fun zombie shirt! I’m a cool zombie-lovin’ guy! I’m gonna wear it to a flash mob and be ignorant to the threat of the brain-eating hordes! Teehee!” But hey, it was a different time. I’m willing to let that go. But that you have the nerve to wear that now, after all that’s happened, makes me…

HA HA, I’m just messing with you, kid! You’ve got a sense of humor, and that’s just what we need in these trying times. Now why don’t you help Johnson over there throw those infected bodies on that bonfire, and we’ll all get to know each other a bit better during the nightly food scavenge.

Wear this shirt: as you loot the local bakeries during the Zombocalypse.

Don’t wear this shirt: as a zombie tears and bites at your flesh meats. Actually, no shirt is really good for that. Best to avoid the situation altogether.

This shirt tells the world: “When there is no room left in the oven, the half-eaten cupcakes shall walk the Earth.”

We call this color: Frosting On The Asphalt

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