At the time, Tarik was attending a private school and was the only black child in his class. It soon became clear that, for whatever reason, Tarik's teacher was not particularly fond of him. He was punished for seemingly every little infraction, and it got to the point where he was often in tears after school because he did not understand why his teacher was picking on him. As he searched for what it was that separated him from his classmates, Tarik finally settled on the one thing about him that was clearly different: the color of his skin.

In discussions with the teacher and the school administration, when I suggested that maybe, just maybe, Tarik was being treated differently because he was black, they did not even consider that it could be a possibility. I noted that there were other little black boys at the school having similarly troubling experiences. I sent them studies showing that when little white boys misbehave in school, as boys are wont to do, they are viewed as "mischievous"--the connotation being that there is some cuteness mixed up in their naughtiness. When black boys do the same, they are condemned.

I told the school administrators that we all, every single one of us, have intrinsic biases that develop as a result of what we see and learn growing up. I explained that the only way we get past those biases is by acknowledging them and then working to eliminate them. Their response was to dig deeper and look for evidence that my son was the problem. There was no empathy on the part of the teacher or the administration even when Tarik wrote a poem in which he said, "When I get left out or treeted unfairly, I feel upset and lonely...I wish that I had [my teacher] be nice and fair. I wish [the assistant principal] would understand that [my teacher] is not treating me fairly. I AM NOT A MEAN BOY." It was apparent, both to me and to my son, that they were intent on labeling him a bad child.

Tarik is now at another school where there is much more racial diversity. He is on the honor roll and has absolutely no behavioral problems. And while I am sure the people at his previous school have their version of events, I know that what Tarik went through was an introduction to what he will probably be dealing with the rest of his life.

I realized then--and am more acutely aware now, in the wake of Trayvon Martin's death--that there are things that I am going to have to prepare Tarik for. I have been told by friends who grew up in the United States that I am going to have to give him lessons on how to behave around police officers. I am going to have to somehow get him to understand, though he certainly cannot wrap his mind around it now, that people will see him as a menace simply because of the color of his skin.

But here's the thing--I don't want my son to grow up with these thoughts in his head. My parents never had to give my brother or me these survival tips, and so we were able to grow up blissfully unaware of racism, at least the American variety. I want the same for my child. It is such a burden having to live by a different set of rules, knowing that society at large views you as "less than" because you are black, and male.