For those that have missed this segment, this is a weekly series on Anaheim Calling to take a look at how various players on the team have fared. I will arbitrarily rank a random topic along on a scale of 1 to 5 stars and place different Ducks within the categories based on their performance over the past week.

My reasoning for the rating of the Ducks will be based on stats, results, and probably some of my bias. My reasoning for the rating of the random topic will be completely biased #dealwithit. I will elaborate more on some players than others. I expect everyone to probably disagree with me on both topics and all of my takes will be outed. If there is something you would like me to rank please feel free to leave it in the comments. On to the fun!

The games included in the ratings for this week are Jan 30th against the Bruins, Feb 1st against the Senators, and Feb 3rd against the Canadiens (I included Saturday’s game this week to give myself 3 games to work with instead of 2).

There is one topic I have been waiting and waiting and waiting to bring out of my arsenal. And that is a complete ranking of the AC staff. I have been telling people in our writer’s room that everything they say can and will be used against them in this rating, and shockingly this did not discourage a few of them from really coming at me.

I am real excited for everyone to see this. Like past weeks, these rankings are 100% correct and no one can tell me otherwise.

I mentioned this last week, but a quick housekeeping note: I have decided for ease of research to start using Naturalstattrick for the skaters stats. As a result I will be using SCF% and HDCF% instead of xGF%. In theory, SCF% and HDCF% should tell us a similar story as xGF%.

5 Stars: Daniel Kleinberg and CJ Woodling

These are the two guys that deal with my writing about stupid stuff on most weeks. If I did not give them the 5 star rating I am pretty sure they would just stop editing my articles and make me look real stupid for having some grammar mistakes and typos.

Or they would just change every word in the article to make me look awful. Either way, praise be my editing overlords!!! On top of that we pretty much always share the same opinion, which means all of us are always right!

Rickard Rakell - Ryan Getzlaf - Jakob Silfverberg - “‘Cause I knew you were the Captain when you walked in, So score on them now, Flew the Ducks to places they’d never been, ’Til you take them down oh, I knew you were the Captain when you walked in, So score on them now, Flew the Ducks to places they’d never been, Now they are fighting for the Stanley Cup, Oh, oh, Captain, Captain, Captain, Oh, oh, Captain, Captain, Captain” (To the tune of I Knew You Were Trouble by T Swift).

This line was really really good this week while together. All three players were over 65% in CF%, 70% in SCF%, and 75% in HDCF%. On top of that Rakell had 5 points in the three games and Silfverberg had a goal.

Cam Fowler - Cam had a fantastic week. He was at 65% in CF% and SCF% and produced 5 points in the 3 games this week.

4 Stars: Felix Sicard, Ben Thomasian (TheBennyfromAus), and John Broadbent

This group of fellas are the epitome of a 4 star group. They are all solid in our conversations, but also all have a fatal flaw. With Felix it is definitely his love of Miller Lite that is keeping him from the 5 star rating (Yes to podcaster listeners the bit will never die!).

With Benny, it is his hatred of Ondrej Kase. Well that and I am not quite sure if he is secretly a Kangaroo being from Australia. With John Broadbent, it is because I am pretty sure he is a Vampire or Werewolf due to What We Do in the Shadows being a completely true documentary about life in New Zealand.

Kevin Bieksa - Bieksa was actually not terrible this week. He was actually, and this is really weird to say, very good. He was above 60% in CF% and above 58% in SCF%.

Brandon Montour & Francois Beauchemin - Both of these players were well above 50% in the three shot metrics I use. This pairing is so strange to me because the eye test always leaves me wanting more from them or being mad, but the last few weeks they have put together some decent numbers. I will need to watch them more in depth in the upcoming weeks to see why this is the case.

3 Stars: Jeremy Coffman (JCoffman517), Justin Ritzel, Pete Syring (QuackAttackSyring), Adam Hutchinson (AdamHutchinson31), Lois (LuckieDuckie8), Kristen Wright (Light_the_Lamp)

I know this is a big group of the writers and that is because all of them are great chats in our writers room convo, but they don’t have power over my articles and I don’t interact with them that much. They are all the backbone of the site though!

Andrew Cogliano - Ryan Kesler - J.T. Brown - All three of these players were reliable this week being over 50% in CF%, SCF% and HDCF%. The only downside to their game was point production. Kesler was the only one with a point, albeit a very big goal to get the Ducks a point against the Sens. As a line they were not on the ice for any goals for at ES.

Adam Henrique - Henrique based purely on his 5v5 stats this week deserved a 2 star rating. He was over 50% in CF%, but was well under 50% in both shot quality stats. What brings him up to 3 stars is his production. He scored a PP goal and an Empty Net goal against the Bruins.

Corey Perry - Perry is starting to get back to his Perry ways. Eye test wise he was creating loads of space for himself this week and stats wise he was good also. He was above 50% in CF%, SCF%, and HDCF%, he scored a goal, had 12 shot attempts, and 9 scoring chances all while being shackled to Chris Wagner and Antoine Vermette (Both of them were terrible this week which makes Perry’s stats stand out more). The only bad side to Perry’s game this week is he had a few defensive miscues that led to goals and a bad penalty.

Josh Manson & Hampus Lindholm - These two had an uncharacteristically rough week. They per usual were on the right side of the CF%, SCF%, and HDCF% battle, but they allowed the most goals against at ES on the team at 2. It was an average week from them.

2 Stars: Kyle Kiekenapp

Kyle has a lot of really bad opinions on a lot of things that all come out in our writers room conversations. The reason why he is a 2 star and not 1 star, is without him I wouldn’t have anyone to prove wrong every single day in our chats. Part of me wonders if he just states incorrect facts on purpose so I can correct him.

Nick Ritchie & Ondrej Kase - These two players were on the right side of the shot quantity battle (both being over 50%), but the shot quality battle was no bueno. Both players were at or below 50% in SCF% and well below 50% in HDCF%. On top of that Kase had no points and Ritchie only had one assist. Not a great week for these two.

Ryan Miller - Miller accumulated a -0.58 GSAA on the week. He had a really good game against the Senators but was below average in his brief appearances against the Bruins and the Canadiens. He was below average on the whole for the week.

1 Star: Eric Stites (DucksJaggernaut)

Eric makes terrible jokes during every game chat. He gets 1 star simply for his terrible joke about the Ducks going to OT even when they are up by 2-3 goals in the 3rd. He violates magumbo every day!

Antoine Vermette & Chris Wagner - These two were really bad this week. Vermette was at 52% CF% and Wagner was a team worst 47% CF%, but the shot quality numbers really tell the tale for them. These two were the worst players on the team this week in SCF% (Both around 35%). They were also on the ice for 2 GA at 5v5 and 0 GF. On top of that, Pod listeners will know this, I believe Wagner single handedly cost the Ducks two points in Ottawa. His undisciplined and just stupid play wiped out a Ducks PP and eventually led to a Sens PP and a Sens goal. These two were as terrible as Eric Stites and his terrible OT jokes! :)

Unranked: JC McDonough

Our AC overlord has gone into hibernation. Every once in a while he pops his head out of his cave to grab some food but he then goes back into his slumber (<3 you JC).

John Gibson (One Start, but did not finish the game), Reto Berra (One appearance).

*All skater stats are from Naturalstattrick unless stated otherwise. All goalie stats are from Corsica unless stated otherwise