Oh, Wait —

It’s Columbus Day, isn’t it? Christ, what an annoying holiday. And, yes, as a nominal Italian-American, I’m allowed to say that.

Can we please dump it? In fact, I’ll tell you what: I propose trading in Columbus Day, a worthless “surprise! You don’t get mail today!” holiday if there ever was one, for an Election Day holiday instead — a real holiday, where you get to skip work and everything. And if it happens only every other year, in tandem with national elections, I’m good with that.

So, a Columbus Day/Election Day holiday swap. Who’s with me on this one?