I refuse to live in a world in which the best time to be a music fan was in the past. The 160GB iPod was released on September 5, 2007. Since then, I just don’t understand what has happened.

For one thing, the amount of storage space in portable devices has stagnated. Presumably this will change once flash storage catches up and we get 256GB phones. But for seven years, the amount of music we can carry with us has been capped too low. Moreover, the file transfer and syncing speed of the best music player available has been stuck at pre-iPhone capabilities, and the mental model and user experience for managing songs in iTunes has only gotten worse. All this has created perfect-storm conditions for a much worse problem.

Two pernicious technological forces emerged around 2007, just as music listening technology peaked: cellular Internet and social media. The combination of mobile (but hardly constant or reliable) Internet access and the socially rewarding taste-labor of performing oneself on social media opened the door for the worst corporate enemy music lovers have ever faced: streaming music rental services. You’ve heard of them: Pandora, Spotify, Rdio (pronounced “ARR-deo,” not “radio,” which is mind-boggling), and probably some other companies soon to lay off all their musically inclined employees to cut costs.

These abominations crippled consumer demand for good music tech at the worst possible moment. By offering ~~~convenience~~~ (and the effortless ability to show off one’s discerning tastes to Friends™ and Followers™), music rental allowed consumers to abandon the effort of maintaining their own music libraries and just hand the keys over to lawyers and code-bros.

Why Music-Rental Services Are Immoral and Harmful to Society

Problem 1: Streaming Sucks

Have you ever attempted to use the Internet in a subway tunnel, on an airplane, in an elevator, in a grocery store, in a public space with many other mobile Internet users, in a rural area, or anywhere else it is common to listen to music besides an office or home with an expensive, private Internet connection? Then surely you, too, listen primarily to music you own stored on a 2007-era device, for it is wildly naïve to attempt to do otherwise.

Problem 2: Streaming-Quality Audio Sucks

Even in circumstances where streaming audio is possible — or when one is lucky enough to have “pinned” or “starred” the right selection of streaming music for offline listening — companies whose businesses depend on minimizing the storage space and bandwidth costs of operating their music rental libraries choose compromised, poor-quality formats and compression, making their music sound flat and unlistenable even to untrained ears. To compensate, they lie in their marketing about this, causing perceived sound quality to improve psychosomatically.

Problem 3: Corporate Overlords and Middlepeople Control Music Availability