Laurel and Hardy. Aykroyd and Belushi. Nixon and Haldeman. Soon these names will be joined by “Fuckman and Donkey Dick,” better known as Judge Bryant Durham and alleged killer Denver Allen, whose performance in a Georgia courtroom last week easily ranks them among America’s most legendary comedy teams.

Allen, accused of committing a deadly jailhouse beatdown last year, appeared in court on Friday seeking to represent himself, claiming his public defender said he would only do “a good job” if he was allowed to give Allen oral sex. Judge Durham advised him against it. Things quickly went downhill from there.

According to a court transcript shared by law blogger Keith Lee, what followed was a lengthy exchange in which Allen bragged about his “big old donkey dick” and his fondness for “white boys with big butts” while repeatedly commanding Judge Durham to suck said donkey dick.

In return, an alternately smiling and red-faced Judge Durham said Allen “looked like a queer” and speculated that “everybody [must enjoy] sucking your cock” but insisted his mouth was likely too small to accommodate the suspected killer’s penis.



During one particularly surreal moment, Allen asked the court reporter if she was getting everything down after Judge Durham repeatedly challenged him to follow through on his threat to “jack” on the judge.



Oh, and at one point Allen also threatened to kill the judge’s entire family with a hammer. According to the Rome-News Tribune, Allen now faces additional charges of contempt of court and making terroristic threats.



While painfully homophobic at times and incredibly vulgar throughout, Fuckman and Donkey Dick’s entire comedy routine deserves a read. Check it out here.

[h/t @ItsTonyNow]