BERLIN – Protests descended on the Tiergarten Park yesterday after the long-awaited decision to remove a statue of Adolf Hitler from the park’s center in downtown Berlin.

“It’s our German heritage!” screamed Kurtholm Frederschmidt, a window sealer from Blankenberg. “This is our German identity. The statue has nothing to do with racism or anti-semitism!”

The Berlin City Council decided to remove the statue after a long and contentious debate, releasing a statement saying it was “time for Germany to move on and heal.”

“I kind of thought we should have actually debated putting it up,” said City Councilwoman Anna Müller.

The statue was erected in 1939 in Nazi Germany, and was only quietly grumbled about by young Germans who didn’t want to offend the nation’s Nazi heritage and the brave soldiers who fought for a global fascistic Jew-free Nazi world conquest.

“I know it’s tough to hear, but I really wonder if Hitler should still be honored in Berlin,” Müller added gravely.

Protest organizers considered the statue removal a stain on German pride.

“We need to recognize the people that helped us foment our identity,” said Tavin Bregolle, the organizer of the protest.

Asked about Hitler’s starting of World War II, his fascist conquest of Europe, and the murder of 11 million Jews, gypsies, Eastern Europeans, homosexuals and other groups in the Holocaust, Bregolle responded, “That is exactly why we must keep the statue. Are we going to censor history now? This is un-German.”

Many Germans fear that the removal of the statue is a form of speech suppression, even though Nazi symbolism has been illegal in Germany since 1945.

“Take down that statue, and everyone will forget about Hitler tomorrow, guaranteed,” insisted Bregolle.

The City Council insists that Nazi Germany is being “scrubbed from scrapbooks, not history books.” But protestors disagree.

“Who’s next, Jesus on the cross?” asked Frederschmidt.

Sean Hannity contributed to this report. He can be reached at thirstyturtletimes@gmail.com

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