DIY: Restoration Hardware deer antlers (with optional flowery flair)

One time I saw a sign in Alaska that read: “Steve’s Taxidermy - free cheese samples” and threw up a little in my mouth. I can appreciate what taxidermists are trying to do, but it’s really unappealing to me. EQUALLY unappealing is spending $300 on a pair of resin deer antlers from Restoration Hardware. “Cast in resin from an antler that was naturally shed… (and) remarkably realistic.” I’LL SHOW YOU REALISTIC.

Today’s mission is to recreate the RH antlers without killing an animal or your paycheck. The mission is even more fun when you add a little desert flower arrangement and get all Georgia O’Keeffe on that stag horn - IF you want to. You can also stop at the specified point and make this look much more masculine. This is a messy one - paper mache, hot glue and paint - but you’ll love the finished product.

1. BUY STUFF. As always, I recommend downloading the Michael’s weekly coupon to your smartphone so you can save 50% on your most expensive item - usually a good $4-5 off!

Buy these things:

- A 5x7” wood base. ($1.50)

- Silk flowers. I bought two stems with 3-4 flowers each. Shoot for 5-7 of total buds that will cover the base. (~$8)

- 2 colors of acrylic paint - one that looks like bone and one that looks like the weird velvet stuff that grows on the deer horns. I used Americana’s “Buttermilk” and “Mississippi Mud” for a whopping 50 cents each. ($1)

- Gorilla Glue (the original formula) ($6)

Then buy these things if you don’t already have them:

- Masking tape

- Hot glue gun

- Hot glue

- Paintbrush

Then go out into the world and collect these things for free however you need to (I don’t judge):

- Sticks (of varying widths so you can build two antlers)

- Newspaper (cut into strips)

- ¼ cup flour

- 1 cup water

- Elmer’s school glue

- 2 feet of aluminum foil

You don’t need a screwdriver, he just likes to sit next to the paintbrush.

Chances are, that whole thing just cost you about $20. That leaves you $280 to spend however you like. It’s like free money! But different.

2. BAKE STUFF.

This is a little OCD, but you should bake your sticks at 250 degrees for 20 minutes as soon as you bring them inside (this goes for pinecones crafts too). It kills all the little bugs inside which is great because I kid you not, if a baby millipede crawled out of my antlers, I would burn the entire house down.

3. TAPE STUFF.

Snap your sticks to the sizes you like and lay them out to a shape you like. Real antlers tend to have one long “branch” below that curves upwards and forwards with 3-4 smaller “twigs” on top. So do that. Sticks are marvelous for this project because they already have little joints and curves that will give the antler an organic shape. Try to match up the angled ends of small twigs with the bottom branch. Use the masking tape to bind them together, like this:

Then wrap that that whole puppy up like Ralph Fiennes in The English Patient. The masking tape makes a smoother surface for the paper mache to stick to.

4. BRACE STUFF. Using one foot of foil for each antler, fold it and bunch it up at the base to create a little support between the antler and the wood plaque. This will be the angle at which your antlers are mounted to the wood.

Then cover that in masking tape too.

CHECKPOINT! Does it look roughly like this? Excellent. Proceed.

5. GLUE STUFF. I initially tried to use the fast-bonding Gorilla Super Glue in the picture of all the materials, but it wouldn’t stick. I begrudgingly tried some of the original formula (which needs 1-2 hours instead of 30-60 seconds) and it totally did the trick. It needs pressure to bind, so use something heavy to clamp the antler to the wood and use something else to brace the antlers while they dry. I used feng shui dragons and mason jars - stick THAT on your Pinterest board.

6. PAPER MACHE STUFF. Mix the flour, water, and about a tablespoon (or more, I got distracted and poured a ton) of glue in a bowl.

I love paper mache. So much. Sticky little love ribbons.

Dump a few strips of paper at a time and use your fingers to pinch and slide away the excess. Wrap the strips around the antlers, kind of candy cane style until every bit of masking tape is covered. Use your fingers and small amounts of the flour paste stuff to smooth out the overlaps and make it all bone-like (get your head out of the gutter).

CHECKPOINT! Now you’re here:

7. HOT GLUE STUFF. Use the hot glue gun to make rows of little knobby ball-dot-things that thin out and tape off toward the middle of the antler. Don’t fear the inevitable hot glue strings between dots, they make the antler look frikin’ awesome later.

8. PAINT STUFF. With the lighter bone color and a dry paintbrush, paint everything. Even the wood base if you want to. But you don’t have to. Be autonomous.

9. GLUE OTHER STUFF. You want that first coat to dry really, really well before painting with the darker color. Let it rest while you do a little faux-gardening. Skip this step if you’re going the macho, flowerless way.

Pull your favorite flowers off the stems and gently pull off any plastic base holding the petals together. Dot some hot glue between the bottom and next-to-bottom petal layers.

Draw a little circle of hot glue around the very bottom of the flower to hold everything together.

10. PAINT THE WEIRD VELVET STUFF. I mixed a little of my light color with the dark (reasoning below) then painted in sections, leaving the very tips of the antlers alone. As soon as you’ve painted a section, use a little bit of a paper towel to rub the paint from the hot glue bumps and any naturally occurring “peaks” on the antlers.

This hand paint on…

This hand paint off (shh… I only have one hand).

The reason I mixed the colors a little was because I then used the pure dark color to shadow the grooves and under parts (heehee!). Aaaaand then I used the pure light color to highlight the most raised/exposed parts. “But I am le tired and zat zounds VERY difficult!” Oh stop, you French harlot. If you can contour your makeup with a light color on the highlights and a darker color on the contours, you already have the idea. If you can’t, you probably should take a make-up class from this girl.

ALMOST DONE! Really. If you’re going the macho route, stop here, make your wood base look clean with a coat of some contrasting paint (or maybe try a wood stain earlier and protect it from the antler paint?) and be happy with your antler baby.

11. GLUE FLOWER STUFF. Practice laying out how you’d like the flowers to be bunched around the antlers so that they cover the wood base. Once you like ‘em, hot glue ‘em into place.

Oh my god, it looks so good. SO GOOD!! How did you do that?! Oh.

You can lean it on stuff, like a high shelf or book case, or betwixt some unwilling plants…

…or drill it with some picture frame hardware and hang it above a door or seating area. If you make one, I want to see*!

*As long it’s not better than mine.