Great news Guardsmen,

Back by popular demand, and in part to curb the increasingly frequent wildlife-related casualties in your regiment, we are happy to once more welcome our guest speaker: Captain Catachan <cue fanfare>.

Please excuse his colourful language and harsh local colloquialisms: he was raised in less refined surroundings than you, good men of Mordia, Praetoria and Cadia.*

Listen up you grox-fed blue-blood maggots. Command has ordered me in to give you a swift talking to on the dangers of death world plants, which probably means that a few of your regiment have recently gotten their hive-fattened selves eaten by some mega-flora carnivore.** Hopefully you’re all up to date on the last set of advice I gave you***, so we can skip the basics and get straight into it. While everything on any death world worth the name is going to try to kill you, there are a few plants you particularly need to watch out for: Shardwrack Spines Ah, these take me back. We had whole fields of these back on the home world. We used to call them devil’s-teeth, as they’d slice up anyone but an expert jungle fighter faster than the jaws of the Catachan Devil. My advice to you fellows? Don’t go near it. Barbed Venomgorse Now, if the usual collection of dead animal bones, xenos skeletons, and the odd unfortunate desiccated guardsman that you tend to see wrapped up like a tied-groxhog in your typical Venomgorse weren’t enough to dissuade from going near it, then I don’t really know how to help you. The venom from a single one of these xeno-weeds is enough to kill most of a hive city. Back on Catachan, of course, we used to distil the stuff to create wine, but for you hive-soft weed-feeders, my advice is. Don’t go near it. Grapple Weed Not all your deadly plants wait around for you to come to them. Even by Catachan standards, Grapple Weed is pretty nasty stuff. It’ll actively seek out fresh prey and is particularly fond of green-behind-the-ears troopers like you luckless whiteshields. A skilled Catachan jungle fighter like yours truly can catch a grapple-barb mid-air and slice the muscle stem with his fang**** to make himself a handy belt. For you hab-born runts though, best plan is to stay well clear. Don’t go near it. If you hive-weasels do need to go near any of the above, I would suggest you douse the whole area with burning-promethium first then advance very very carefully – best to leave the real jungle fighting to the experts.

More great news, Guardsmen!

Now that you have completed this training section, you are now considered jungle fighting experts by the Astra Militarum. As per Cpt. Catachan’s suggestion, we have issued your platoon with 3 additional flamers*****. Best of luck out there!

Thought for the day:

‘The walk through hell is the road to glory.’

* Emperor Bless the continued efforts of the Orphans of the Storm, provided they comply fully with regulatory re-distribution orders.

** Squad Alpha 7-b still officially AWOL, though half a boot was discovered, partially corroded from vegetative digestive juices.

*** You are: all Regimentals Standard broadcasts are mandatory reading.

**** We assume he is talking here about a Catachan fang sword, rather than his teeth. Probably.

***** Note, additional fuel will not be provided.

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