I read a great quote somewhere and it goes something like this:

If your happiness is dependent on how others react to you, rejection hurts. If you derive happiness from within yourself, rejection doesn’t hurt.

Let’s take two hypothetical men.

Man 1) He’s at a bar having a great time. He’s really enjoying himself, being social talking to a bunch of people. 0 expectations for anything. Just there. Living life and being happy to be in the company of others. He sees a girl he’s attracted to and wants to get to know her. He approaches, not caring at all how this girl reacts to him. Girl politely declines his approach. He walks back completely unaffected, still as joyous as before.

Man 2) Sitting at the bar. Thinking. Thinking about why he can’t get a girl and all of the things he’s doing wrong. Contemplates if he is ugly or doesn’t have enough money. Suddenly he sees a girl he is attracted to. He wants to approach, but is incredibly nervous. What if she rejects him? He’ll feel shitty for the rest of the night. Damn, he can’t stand another rejection. If she rejects him, his whole night is ruined and he’ll go home sad and lonely. He decides it’s best not to approach.

For Man 1, rejection was meaningless. Meant nothing. For Man 2, though he decided not to approach, if he decided to actually do it, the rejection would have crushed him.

I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather be Man 1 than Man 2.