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Top Ten Places To Eat After The Show Across The USA

10. Sheetz – Up and down the East Coast, USA

You eat a LOT of shitty gas station food when you travel around playing rock and roll, and Sheetz kind of blew us away the first time we ever encountered it (We don’t have them in Tennessee, you see). It’s solid fast food that you order by mashing buttons on a space-aged robot waiter. They also have F’real milkshakes which are hand-churned by yet another robot. I guess maybe we just felt at home surrounded by our fellow machines.

9. Crocodile Lounge / Aligator Cafe – New York, NY

If you’re in the East Village (or Brooklyn) and you want to get a drink after the show… but you also feel like you could eat something… and you also think maybe you’d like to play skee-ball… there’s only one place (or two) you should go. With every drink you buy they give you a whole brick-oven pizza (well, it’s pretty small… but still rad)! You can have a drinking contest and an eating contest at the same time!! But don’t. Because they’ll pitch you out on your ass if you throw up booze and pizza all over the skee-ball machine. Trust us.

8. City Cafe – Chattanooga, TN

When you get done packing up the trailer at 4am every night, you end up eating in a lot of greasy all-night diners. It’s just a fact of rock and roll life. This place is that…TO THE EXTREME. Literally there is nothing they don’t serve. Their menu is a 5lb book that we’ve only cracked the cover on. Now… to be fair, we’re not quite sure if any of it is actually any good, but with a encyclopedic menu like that, if you can’t find something here that excites you, it’s probably your own damned fault.

7. Hooda’s Halal Food Truck – Near Gramercy Theater, NYC

When the guys locked up behind us at the Gramercy Theater in New York last July, we needed to look no further than right outside the broken door of our RV for a seriously killer gyro. We were pretty sure the guy didn’t understand a word we said when we ordered, but whatever he decided to give us was unbeatable. We even wrote him his own jingle that may or may not make it onto Act III called “4am Falafel Man.”

6. 4th Street Chicago Italian Beef – Des Moines, IA

Now, admittedly, it’s been a while since we’ve played a show in Des Moines, but I can tell you that we dream about this place when we’re anywhere within 665 miles… so, every night (you know, because that’s how far Nashville is from Des Moines, meaning we’re almost always within 665 miles, so we’re always going to be dream…. forget it, I’m done explaining this joke to you). The fella that runs the joint will regale you will tales of his family’s ties to the mob while he makes you one of the most perfect examples of an Italian Hot Beef Sandwich (a Chicago staple that should really be an everywhere staple). We’re not sure technically when he closes up shop though, as he’s happy to sit and talk with you until you’re late for the next gig.

5. El Gran Burrito – Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake)

So… If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll notice that this one was already mentioned in the Top Ten Favorite Burrito Joints Across The USA… So Far list from a few days ago. It’s true that this place makes a fine burrito, but we can also personally vouch for just about anything on the menu here. And it’s open 24 hours, so you can just spend the entire day trying it all to see if we’re wrong. We’re not.

4. Schwarma Point Food Truck – Austin, TX

I don’t know if we’ve always booked shows in Austin near the intersection of Red River and 7th because that’s where the best venues are, or if we were secretly terrified of playing anywhere outside of walking distance to this food truck. We recommend “Brown People Spice”… you’ll thank us.

3. Punjabi Grocery and Deli – New York, NY

It doesn’t matter where we’re playing in New York (or New Jersey or Connecticut for that matter) when the venue kicks us out, we haul ass towards the East Village for some of the most incredible (and cheapest) Indian food in the country. You can literally fill your stomach for $3.25 and hear some of the best Bollywood jams while you do.

2. Cosmic Cantina – Durham/Chapel Hill, NC

The second repeat from the burritos list. That’s what happens when you make one of the countries most unstoppable burritos AND stay open until 4am… you get The Protomen’s undying love and devotion.

1. Pat’s King Of Steaks – Philadelphia, PA

On one of the first Protomen tours (Back in 2007) we ended up in Philadelphia playing at The Khyber. After the show we knew we had two things to do… run the Rocky steps at the Philadelphia Museum of Art and eat a cheesesteak. When we got over to Cheesesteak Central (9th and Passyunk) we were torn. Pat’s or Geno’s… Geno’s or Pat’s… So we ate both. Back to greasy back. While the fight rages on like Apollo vs Rocky, (until Dolph Lundgren ruined it for everybody) we give the bout to Pat’s.

Hey! You did it Philly! You topped the list. Now come on down and let us shake your hands before you get cheese wiz all over them.

The Protomen are still earnin’ and burnin’ across the U.S.A. They hit Philly tonight at the World Cafe Live before the post-show cheesesteak. Catch em at the remaining dates:

Apr 26 – Philadelphia, PA @ World Cafe Live

Apr 28– Grand Rapids, MI @ Pyramid Scheme

Apr 29 – Indianapolis, IN @ Emerson Theater

Apr 30 – Chicago, IL @ Reggies Live