Once upon a time, a girl named Kate made a wish upon a star. Her wish was to someday marry a prince just like in the Cinderella fairytale. Kate coaxed her parents into sending her to the same school as Prince Willy so she could seduce him into marrying her.

At Saint Andrews, Kate found her fairytale prince, alright. The campus was buzzing with tales that the prince was a fairy. Meanwhile, back at the palace, the Queen got wind of the scandalous rumors that her grandson Willy liked willies.

The Queen commanded Willy to butch it up for the paparazzi and do manly things...like drive a tank, fly a plane, play polo and find a girlfriend. Kate needed advice... so she called her Jewish mother, Carol Goldsmith who reminded her that the family had invested their entire life's savings in her wish to snare the prince. Kate was left with two choices. Commit suicide or come up with plan B.

After class one day, Kate put Plan B into action. She approached Willy's boy-toy and told him about a plan she had that would kill the homo gossip. She would pretend to be Willy's girlfriend. Secretly... Kate vowed she would convert Willy from gay to straight with her energetic, rocket launching BJ's.

After 8 years of getting nowhere, Kate finally used force. Rupert Murdoch sent his hackers to investigate why the heir to the throne hadn't popped the question. Soon, the tabloids were nick naming Kate "Waity Katie" and "Fag Hag".

The Queen was furious with her grandsons for making front page headlines with their royal scandals. For once, the Queen agreed with her Schleswig-Holstein-Sonderburg-Glücksburg German-Nazi husband.

They scheduled Willy and Kate's wedding day to commemorate Adolf Hitler and Eva Braun's 66th wedding anniversary - April 29th... ...but first, Willy had to propose. He had lots of experience getting down on his knees in front of men...but never in front of a woman.

Kate's engagement ring was the same "used" ring-of-doom that Willy's murdered mother wore during her loveless marriage to Willy's cheating father. When Kate was introduced to the royal family, they snubbed her. They were far too busy figuring out how to make millions off of the wedding-of-the-century souvenirs...

...like Willy and Kate condoms... ... Willy and Kate toilet seat covers

.. Willy and Kate ashtrays... ...and Willy and Kate ring-of-doom replicas.

The Queen had much greedier things in mind than petty souvenirs. Kate insisted that the wedding HAD TO BE a fairytale wedding just like in the Cinderella story.

Willy agreed to go along with Kate's Cinderella wedding theme under three conditions... One...he could invite his homo pals, Sir Elton John and rugby star Gareth Thomas...

... two...his godaughter from the Satanic Illuminati Astor bloodline would be the flower girl... ...and three...he wouldn't have to kiss the bride.

And so it came to pass... on the 66th anniversary of Hitler's wedding day, millions gathered in front of their TV sets to watch the royal pomp and ceremony of Willy and Kate's fairytale wedding. Outside Westminster Abbey, Gary Goldsmith - Kate's boozing, pill popping, porn peddling, coke snorting Jewish uncle - showed up late...

...and so did Willy's uncle - Prince Andrew, who brought along an underage female escort supplied by convicted paedophile, Jeffry Epstein. Inside the Abbey, wedding guests were already seated and listening to Willy as he recited his vows and fumbled with the wedding ring.

Kate held out her hand while Willy grunted, pushed, squeezed, twisted and jammed the ring onto Kate's bruised finger with a forceful thrust. TV watchers wondered if Willy was just as awkward with other newlyweds things. The world waited with orgasmic anticipation for Willy to prove his manhood with a balcony kiss. They waited...and waited...

...and waited...and waited... Willy felt sick. The crowd of low-life commoners kept coaxing and coaxing him. As the cheering got louder and louder...

... Willy got greener and greener.