ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Local cartoon celestial being, Jesus Christ of Nazareth fame, revealed to The Advocate this morning during an exclusive tell-all that his plan all along for Israel Folau was for him not to play in the upcoming Rugby World Cup in Japan.

Because his plan is for the Wallabies not to make it past the pool stage.

“I get a lot of prayers,” said Mr Christ.

“I can’t answer them all. But I’ll tell you one thing, there’s been fuck all prayers coming out of Australia for the Wallabies. There’s fucking truckload coming out of New Zealand and the wider Pacific community. A few out of England. Fuck tonnes out of Ireland and Scotland,”

“So naturally, I took a utilitarian outlook on this, as I do with most things. So I had to come up with a plan to make sure the Wallabies didn’t get past the pool stage, so I basically told Israel to post that hot shit on his gram and the rest is pretty much history. So, ah, yeah. If you have a problem with that, I suggest to pick up a Gilbert and fucking run at me, you dumb dogs.”

The Advocate reached out to Rugby Australia for comment on Mr Christ’s remarks about the Folau scandal, but have yet to receive a reply.

Folau’s management said they agreed with Mr Christ and what he said.

More to come.

