Things you could learn to get away with if only you were rich.

A cursory glance at TMZ today had us chaffing at the image of rap pop star Snoop Dogg standing in the rain watching what one can conclude is a game of football while a sharply dressed sentry was standing over him with an oversized umbrella, you know, just to keep the rain off Snoop and maybe so Snoop didn’t have to bother holding an umbrella.

In light of that image we thought we would come up with some more ‘fun’ ways for you to idly spend your money once or if you ever make it big.

First idle way of spending money would be paying someone to wake up every morning before you do and buy you coffee, cigarettes and even walk your dog. Most people call these people their spouses now you can call them your ‘associate helper.”

Second idle way for you to spend money would be to have someone answer all your email, file them and politely answer them as if they were you. Yes, of course in normal circumstances, these people would be called your secretary, but now they are called your “correspondence associate.”

Third idle way for you to spend money would be to pay people to just come and hang out with you like normal friends do, but here’s the caveat, instead of having to be thoughtful and considerate, you can be as inconsiderate, disagreeable as you please without fear of retribution as you now have your “associate house guests.”

Finally for those of you who are really loaded and don’t mind spending money can we recommend someone the “surrogate associate,” for a large sum of money you can pay these people vast sums of money to live your life while you spend all day hammered, sleeping in, watching TV all day or even football in the rain.

See who said you can’t buy happiness?