Advertisers would have you believe that strapping on a healthy buzz by way of a bottle of something a little more elegant will magically transform you into a more suave, sophisticated reveler than those who might stoop to drinking beer or doing gas station bath salts with the rest of the riffraff.

We can't always hit the mark in life, though. Unfortunately for these brands and their intended messages, what they did instead was subliminally confirm that getting hammered brings out the worst in a person. So, as you celebrate tonight, remember to do so in moderation, lest you fall victim to the heinous side effects of alcohol on display in these commercials.

Here are five alcohol ads that confirm your worst fears about drinking.