After having called myself an Agnostic Atheist for quite a while now, I’ve come to the conclusion that the most difficult part about doing so is “coming out of the closet.” I’d love to sit here and say it has been easy and everyone has been really acceptant and understanding, but reality would have to disagree with you. There are a lot of people that are well aware of my Atheism and there are a lot of (important) people that do not. This would include my parents, one of my brothers, and well…most of my family. I don’t really intend on telling any of them anytime soon, but surely it will get out eventually. And the thought of that scares the living hell out of me. I am the type of person that doesn’t care what someone thinks about me, but when it comes to family? I just can’t cope when someone I love (usually family) doesn’t approve of my actions, beliefs, and shows disappointment or worry towards me. I can honestly say that I am worried of how my parents would react if they were aware that I do not believe in god. I mean, we’re not really the church-going type of family, but we surely express the fact that there is a god, Jesus is cool, and that prayer is important. That right there is enough for me to be afraid of what they would think of me had I “come out of the closet.”

And the thing that really sucks is that there really isn’t a “good” way of going about telling someone, and if there is–I sure as hell am not aware of it. I mean the only way I can see it happening is the basic “well…I’ve got some bad news” And then they get all worried and start tripping and your like “well, after a lot of thought and reflection I’ve come to the conclusion that there is no god.” And then they’re like “oh shit! curse you! I don’t want you to burn in hell!!” And well, thats the end of it. Now doesn’t THAT sound like a bag of cookies?

I suppose I’m being irrational. Not every person I’ve actually told has reacted like that. There’s the people that subtly tell you that they think you are a moron and have no reason to not believe. I almost would rather have someone be worried about me than think I’m an idiot. Cause if I was an idiot, I would never have put such deep thought into something so serious. I suppose that is the way I look at it.

So to conclude: coming out of the closet sucks…and I’m not looking forward to it. I wish more people were more acceptant of peoples religious decisions, but they aren’t. So–Americans are idiots. Thats the way I see it. Why is a place that is based and formed off of the concept of “freedom of religion” going to be so damn judgmental on religious concepts. It’s shit like this why we will never have a non-Christian President.