Ugh. Why can’t people just leave me alone and let me live my life without getting all judge-y and offended and stuff? Why can’t things ever just be EASY?

First Zelda, then Jace… they’re being ridiculous!

Alright, let me explain how this all happened.

It all started last weekend, when my date with Trent went… not-even-remotely-according-to-plan. I stayed at Onkel Tam’s party way longer than I should have (it was actually pretty fun and his new store is awesome… but that’s all beside the point). ANYWAY, I totally messed things up.

The “I’m sick” excuse completely backfired on me. Mama insisted on driving me home (ugh) which meant there was literally no possible way I could go meet Trent. And I figured I was basically doomed, at that point. There wasn’t anything I could do to fix it.

But Trent figured out a way. He’s always really clever like that. He showed up at my house like, COMPLETELY out of the blue to surprise me. I couldn’t believe it — it was so sweet of him, and… okay, I can’t lie. Sneaking a guy into my house like that was pretty exciting too.

I can’t really explain it, but there’s just this RUSH you feel when you’re sneaking around and knowing you might get caught…

Y’know, until getting caught actually becomes a real possibility.

Me and Trent would’ve gone all the way. I KNOW we would have. And I was so ready for it too… But I had to kick him out as soon as I realized my grandparents were on the way home.

Oh my God could you even IMAGINE if they’d found me and Trent like that? I would’ve just DIED right then and there. Death by absolute freaking mortification. Then Papa would have to give Oma and Opa free therapy sessions for the rest of their lives to get over the trauma of what they just witnessed, and Trent would probably be arrested for necrophilia or something.

But luckily, none of that happened, thanks to Zelda. She warned me just in time. But… HOW? I couldn’t stop wondering like, all night how she’d figured it out.

When she came over the next day, she told me. And no, it wasn’t anything as badass as developing telepathy or something. She just used her detective skills.

Apparently Trent posted something on Twitter yesterday about “having a date with the hottest girl in school” (OMG does he seriously think that about me?! Ahhh!). Then later, when he found out I couldn’t make it to the bar, he made another post about a “change of plans” and having to go “halfway across town”, but that it’d be worth it (see? He’s so sweet!).

It wasn’t too hard for Zelda to connect the dots, I guess. She saw me and Trent talking at school. She knows how much I like him. And she knows I left the party early…

Which she wasn’t exactly happy about. She went on and on about how “disappointed” she was in me for skipping out on her dad’s party. Then I got the whole big “I don’t even know who you are anymore” speech about how I’m “lying to everybody” and “sneaking around” and “dating all these popular jerks”.

And honestly, I get why she’s feeling that way. She’s totally jealous. And it’s my fault, I’ll own it. I’ve kinda been “neglecting” her lately, or whatever you wanna call it.

Of course, I never MEANT to. I just got so wrapped up in all these guys, and I should’ve made more time for her. And I feel really bad that I didn’t.

Looking back now, it probably wasn’t the best idea in the world for me to actually USE the word “jealous” when I tried apologizing to her though…

Yeah, I totally screwed that one up.

Zelda hasn’t talked to me at all since then. She totally ignores me at school, she doesn’t answer my texts…

And of course, her parents noticed, and so did mine. So now I’ve spent the last week dodging a bunch of awkward questions about why me and Z are “fighting”. Ugh!

At least she hasn’t ratted me out to her Dad and Papa yet… I’d totally know it if she had. Guess the best friend code still applies, even when we aren’t talking. But I hate that she’s being like this. I never thought she was the type to get all jealous.

And speaking of jealous… She’s not the only one.

I kept wondering HOW Zelda knew to look at Trent’s Twitter account. I mean yeah, she’s a total social media addict. She follows everybody at school. But it felt way too convenient that she just “happened” to see those posts he made.

All she’d tell me was she was “working off an anonymous tip”. And it wasn’t too hard for me to use MY detective skills and figure it out.

I’d had a feeling Jace heard me and Trent talking last Friday… But I didn’t think it was gonna be a big deal. Me and Jace aren’t exclusive — we’re just having fun. Why the heck should he care if I go on a date with somebody else? And why would he try and rat me out to Zelda like that?!

I really know the answer though, obviously. He’s jealous too. He basically confirmed it when I went over his place the other day to try and talk to him. I couldn’t get him to admit he was the one who told Zelda… But I DID get him to admit that my date with Trent was the reason why he hasn’t been talking to me.

Then he started giving me all those weird, vague warnings again about Trent and how I can’t trust him… I had a feeling back when he first told me that crap about Trent that he was just jealous. And now I KNOW he is. He has to be.

Which is annoying, but also weirdly flattering… As long as he doesn’t start getting the wrong idea about the two of us. We hang out, we mess around with each other… But we’re JUST friends, like we agreed. And that means I can go on dates and mess around with anybody else I want. And so can he. It wouldn’t matter to me.

Anyway, at least our conversation ended a lot better than it did with Zelda. I had to cave and promise Jace I’d “be careful” around Trent (whatever that means).

But then he promised ME he’d stay out of it from now on. Which I was really, really grateful for. (And, uh, I made sure I gave him a proper token of my gratitude before I left… Hehehe)

So I guess I smoothed things over pretty well with Jace. But everything still feels really weird now…. especially with Zelda.

I really hope things can start turning around soon.

Because it’s making it kinda hard to fully enjoy things with Trent right now.

Everything’s different between us after what happened Saturday. Even though we didn’t make it much farther than making out, it’s still changed, somehow.

We sat together at lunch every day this week. And he’s been walking me to class and texting me every night too… We even made plans for our first REAL date this Saturday (this time with the promise that we WON’T let ourselves get interrupted like last time).

It’s all so amazing. But also kinda terrifying.

I’ve never felt this way about a guy before. This isn’t like how things were with Mason or Jace or even Dominick. This is… I don’t know what to call it. Something more.

I promised myself I wasn’t gonna let myself fall for the trap. But he’s making it so, so hard not to. He’s just so funny and so charming. It doesn’t even matter what he’s saying to me — I could listen to him talk for hours. And every time I look at him, I get all weak in the knees and I start thinking about all that stuff I’ve done with Jace…

And I start wishing it was with Trent instead… Maybe ONLY him. Like, exclusive. Like… a boyfriend?

God, what am I saying? I’m being ridiculous. Jace is right — I DO have to be careful around Trent. I can’t let myself fall for all that relationship garbage. I’ve just gotta enjoy things the way they are. That should be enough.

Anyway, I’ll keep you updated on whether or not Zelda decides to forgive me, and on what ends up happening this weekend with Trent too.

All I know right now is I’ve got a really, really good feeling about it.