You have to admire Michelle Boag for at least one thing – she stands steadfast in the path of any and all criticism of the National Party, no matter what. But her empassioned statement that, in getting themselves thrown out by the Speaker this week, a group of female MPs were “parading their victimhood,” she has unwittingly triggered another debate – where is it okay for victims to talk about sexual abuse?

Boag claimed that Turei, Delahunty, Davidson and the rest were doing other New Zealanders who have survived sexual attacks a disservice by using Parliament – a public platform, and one of privilege – to “give us their victim statements.” This disgusted and offended her, she said, because other victims’ stories get no such prominence. They have no such platform.

Isn’t that the point?

Listen to what Boag said:

Whether it was organised by Turei in advance or not, it clearly took courage for those women to make that statement. "I am a victim of a sex attack” is not an easy thing to say. In conversations with listeners on our afternoon show, I have often hinted that I too have had that experience. It was only today, thanks to the bravery of those MPs, that I had the courage to share a few of the details of my childhood experience at the hands of an elderly neighbour. It took me 30 years to even allow myself to confront the memory of it. That process began after a chance conversation with one of my sisters, when it dawned on both of us that the other was a victim too. We never spoke of it again, and it was another 10 years before I admitted it to anyone else.

I’ve realised today that’s what many people struggle to understand; how could someone who’s been attacked like that not go to the police? Why do they stay silent? Listeners sent emails and texts today expressing amazement that the majority of female Labour MPs appeared to have this experience in common. How could this be possible? Do they have proof, they asked? Show me the police records! It appears we’ve heard the statistics (one in four women will be sexually attacked or abused in their lifetimes) but we have not let them sink in.

Perhaps Michelle Boag will be furious and disgusted with me for talking about my experience on the privileged public platform I enjoy every day (thank you, RadioLIVE). Admittedly, I kept it short, gave an admission but few details. Why so reticent? Because still, despite all the years that have passed and all I now know about victim empowerment, I’m reluctant to bother you with too much detail. That’s kind of sad in itself.

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There were those, men and women, who called and emailed to applaud Turei and the others. One texter said their act had made her feel “half normal for the first time,” and that if they could survive and rise to the positions they now have, then perhaps she could too. Another pointed out that “NZers have tried to raise awareness of sexual violence on almost every frontier, and little is done. Why not raise it in Parliament, aren’t they supposed to addressing all social ills?”

So to Michelle and those who are concerned that highlighting sexual abuse in Parliament is "not the proper forum" (a quote from another of today’s emailers) I would say maybe that’s strictly, procedurally true. But I don’t care.

You’ve gotta start somewhere.

Alison Mau and Willie Jackson, 12-3pm weekdays on RadioLIVE

source: data archive