Jeffery Epstein lives on, and not in the transcendental afterlife sense, the literally sense. The internet has been abuzz pointing out what may seem to be painfully obvious to the conspiracy minded. A high profile witness testifying against billionaires and heads of state was mysteriously taken off of suicide watch then broke his own neck in three places shortly after. Given his violent neck snapping, how is it possible that Epstein lives?

Epstein was a pedophile which probably would have gotten him killed in jail just for that alone, but having dirt on billionaire heads of state was the clincher. To the experienced paranoid echo chamberers Epstein conspiracy theories are so glaringly obvious they seem infantile, and are easily noticed for the red herrings they are. The media would much rather have you focus on meaningless details than the reality that Esptein lives.



His new form isn’t currently known but it’s most likely that Epstein lives somewhere in Southeast Asia as he’s gone too long without underaged women. Reptilians need to make a trip to their secret underground facilities to swap bodies. Sometimes choose to inhabit current human’s forms by assuming their identity after abducting them, draining them of their vital fluids and inserting themselves in their chest cavity.

Reptilians are aliens from far away but possess powerful technology that enables them to transform into larger versions of their tiny forms, similar to small lizards. The classic reptile skinned humanoid is not a conspiracy, but they rarely change shape outside of private visits with one another. Epstein lives on and hopefully his victims will obtain justice, he’s stayed in the news for months now which is a rarity in today’s age.

The Illuminati media has been quick to turn on their own enjoying the combined anti-trump, #metoo sentiment of the Epstein story. “Oh the grand conspiracy” the media wouldn’t talk about… but none of them would ever dare mention the real truth that Esptein lives.