At this point in human history, most of us are now hard-wired to either A) distrust what we read on Internet or B) distrust what we read on the Internet and shout profanity at the screen. But one topic that still turns us into slack-jawed marks at an 1800s snake oil show are "lifehacks," those time-saving tips and tricks that range from handy (the pain of a paper cut can be stopped with chapstick) to unmitigated clusterfucks.

We asked long-suffering Cracked writer Evan Symon to dive back into the fetid crevasse where stupid Internet lifehacks go to spawn and die, and return with six potential stinkers to test on his own body. What bad ideas did he dredge up?