Social Video

Even the world’s most famous plumber is apparently susceptible to online radicalization.

he Russian Interior Ministry recently held an “anti-extremism” contest, calling for government employees to submit videos that take on religious or political fanaticism. The winning video was a brief clip about an Islamic terrorist planting a bomb on a city bus, only to find out he accidentally killed his wife and children in the attack. Produced by employees of Dagestan’s regional Ministry for Youth Affairs, the short film was highly praised by Russian officials as a timely statement on the uptick in the radical religious extremism the country has been dealing with.

An honorable mention went to a video dubbed “one of the most creative” submissions in the contest. Creative? Maybe. Weird? Definitely. Titled “Extremism Won’t Pass”, it stars everybody’s favorite Japanese-Italian plumber/professional princess rescuer, Mario, as an extremist punk who Googles things like “How to become a skinhead if I am a Satanist” and ” how to make a nuclear bomb at home.”

You’ll just have to see it for yourself:

If you’re a bit rusty on your Russian, the flying chunk of text at the beginning of the video says “This is Koshmario, and he is an extremist”. According to The Moscow Times, “Koshmario” is a portmanteau of the Russian word “koshmar,” or “horror,” and “Mario”.

After the beginning titles, “Koshmario” jumps up to a computer and uses a search engine called “Gugol” (no idea what that’s a reference to) to research such wholesome topics as “how to become a skinhead if I am a Satanist,” and “how to make a nuclear bomb at home”. Somebody should have told him—if you want help building a nuclear bomb, just ask this guy:

On second thought, don’t. Some Libyan friends of mine left him a very bad Yelp review.

Further along in the video, “Koshmario” becomes furious when a website he is trying to access is blocked (no overtly obvious propaganda there. Move along, citizen). This sends him into a rage, causing him to jump to the platform and ground-pound (see, I’m hip with that Super Mario lingo) a barrel labeled “Law” into the ground. He then begins spray painting what definitely look like swastikas onto those big green pipe things. They look a little bit off, though, so it’s possible they’re actually Hydra logos.

Before he can do much more harm, “Koshmario” is nabbed by some uncharacteristically human-looking Mushroom Kingdom police officers. On second though, maybe they’re not Mushroom Kingdom police—there’s a Russian Interior Ministry logo on the castle. Apparently, the Russians have set their sights on annexing our childhood memories, too. When will their aggression end?

The contest organizers said they received more than 300 entries, and that the “level of the works, from the point of view of both the content [or] creative ideas, and of the skill of execution was rather high.”

The second place runnerup video was titled “Changing Together”. It’s a fairly obvious effort to denounce political dissension or public protest of any kind, as the Kremlin grows fearful of revolts like the one that toppled the Moscow-backed administration in Ukraine in 2014.

The one-minute short film was created by Interior Ministry employees in the Penza region, and centers on protesters rabidly attacking a police barricade. Just when it looks like things are going to get ugly, a little girl stops the demonstrators dead in their tracks. “Daddy, stop.” She says, before handing her father an orange-and-black St. George ribbon. According to The Moscow Times, the ribbon is “Russia’s traditional symbol of military valor that has lately emerged as a sign of pro-Kremlin forces in Russia and Ukraine.”

It is unknown whether taxpayer money went into funding the videos.

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