TRACEY BENDINGER | Culture | Contact

It was supposed to be the trip that brought all of his Christmases at once, but as Tony Sims is learning, Italy isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.

Tony and his girlfriend Amy are holidaying in Italy for three weeks, a holiday that Amy said would mean Tony could eat as much carbonara as he wanted.

It is a dream come true for any pasta lover, but as Tony has realised is a fucking stitch up.

He reached out to The Advocate to voice his bitter disappointment at what carbonara is really like in Italy.

“Have you fuckin’ been here?”

“Back home, if I order a carbonara at the pub or even fancy restaurant, it’s this grouse creamy bowl of pasta”

“Do you wanna know what they use here?”

“An egg!”

“A raw egg!”

“Wtf (sic) is that all about?”

“At first I thought it was just this one place we went, but I’ve been ordering them at every joint we go and they all do the same thing. I’m beside myself.”

“I feel completely deceived.”

The Advocate approached Amy for comment to see if she shared the same shock as her boyfriend, unsurprisingly she’s a touch more cultured than the cream lover.

“Oh my god, he’s carrying on isn’t he. He’s started saving half his carbonara, so he can take it home and add cream to it in the hotel. It’s fucking ridiculous.”

Ridiculous, or committed – We’ll keep an eye on this developing story for the moment Tony realises garlic bread isn’t Italian either.

More to come.