



No, it’s not the sequel to Elizabeth’s Gilbert’s book. It’s the subtitle to my new book: “What Love Is”.

Earlier today while I was slightly meditating on my couch, eating handfuls of Apple Jacks, I overheard my partner in our bedroom; he was praying quietly. He had just received the Helping Angels from our friend, and was welcoming them and the experience into his life. My heart hurt from loving him so much in that moment. What a pumpkin.

I definitely believe that Love, like God, can only be truly understood through feeling, not through thought. (So, does this mean that believing God exists is not technically rational because it’s not known through the mind? OR, do we just need to redefine our understanding of what it is to be “rational”?)

In any case, I will never need to prove my love for my partner to anyone else , or even to myself, because I can feel it; I know it’s there. But just for fun, I made a list of how I would prove it, if I ever had to. I call it: Eat, Poop, Pray.

These are all things I haven’t always been able to do with my history of romantic lovers. Like most insecure young women, there was indeed a time when the possibility of eating in front of a cute boy was just not doable. The fear was so great that it effectively subdued my appetite, so it wasn’t even that difficult not to eat anyway. Man, I used to love those “I Have A New Crush” diets.

However, longer relationships by necessity force you to get over yourself and fucking eat. Eating together can even be really sexy and romantic sometimes. Pooping, on the other hand, is not. I would argue that a lot couples never make it to this stage; and they would probably argue they don’t even want to go to this stage anyway. But being able to poop in front of someone is physical intimacy at its most ancient stage in evolution. As a wise man once said, Be not ashamed of your stink.

It took years before I was ever even comfortable enough with myself and with a partner to get to those first two stages. Now I’ve learned that there’s a new level of intimacy reached when you have a partner with whom you can pray in front of. Until now I have never let a partner see me pray before. Sometimes Joe and I even pray together; usually he just listens and allows me to guide our meditations. Eating, Pooping, and Praying are extremely vulnerable states to be in, and if you have someone in your life who loves all those parts of you, then I’d definitely say you know what love is, too.