Vote For Who Should Advance In Round 1 Of The Kylie Kirkpatrick Bracket Of Ratchet Madness

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Here are your 8 ratchets who will be advancing to round 2 in the Hadassah Bracket.

Onto the Kyle Kirkpatrick Bracket. You have 24 hours to vote for which ratchets should advance in each of the following match ups. I have provided links and a bulleted ratchet resume to help you make an informed decision.

1. Kylie Kirkpatrick vs. 16. War-aq Rappers

1. Kylie Kirkpatrick

Coached 9 year old son to lie about using allowance to pay off classmates’ school lunch debt so that she could fly across the country like a celebrity and raise thousands of dollars in donations from people

Isn’t allowed near her son’s former elementary school after turning a nationwide mob on them, and then threatening parents waiting outside for their children

Actively solicited donations while pretending to be a non-profit

Took in donations from Nike that she immediately sold online

Conceived her son in a brook closet with her counselor in drug rehab

Abandoned her daughter to be raised by her parents

Went to jail after cashing several checks worth over $10,000 belonging to roommate

Had to change son’s last name, presumably because she ran up bad credit using his social security number

Lied about her son’s deadbeat Dad dying from ALS in order to get free tickets to an Athletics game

Has sued over 20 people and lost every time

Viciously attacked the deaf community and sued a deaf woman who started a petition about her job as an ASL instructor due to the fact that she is not trained to do so

Is a recovering junkie

Silenced and terrorized members of the community who attempted to post factual information about her by threatening them at work and harassing their employers

Was investigated by the Napa Police and charged with 8 felonies

Created a Twitter account in her son’s name that she used to pretend to be her son and heap praise upon herself for being a single mom

Repeatedly sought out the media, celebrities, and politicians using social media in order to get things like free Super Bowl tickets

16. War-aq Rappers

Claim to be the best rappers in Warwick, Rhode Island

Performed gangsta rap from the town gazebo with Make a Wish Eminem, mistake for autism fundraiser

Victimized by a rival from rapper from the neighboring community of West Warwick, and declared war on Facebook

Posted man on man sex video of rival rapper as revenge

8. Lynda Andino vs. 9. Mustard Meatflap

8. Lynda Andino

Inserted herself into Hadassah Robeson story by calling the police and falsely telling them that residents were being held against their will

Told me she was going to call the police to straighten it out, lied to me, and then began using ALL CAPS voice when she turned on me

Speaks in permanent Newports 100 voice

Posted a video of herself berating a cop in Maine after being kicked out for not paying $300 rent, accused the police of lying about what happened

Collects social security checks for a living, smokes blunts, and rolls her own cigarettes

That’s sane. If you sit around collecting your social security check while you roll cigarettes, smoke blunts and plot to file false police reports, you may need to reevaluate your life.

Said she was going to sue TBS and called the DEA on us

Has been evicted from homes multiple times in multiple states

Trashed an apartment so badly that it was knee deep in trash and had to be razed to the ground

Previously charged with raising unlicensed dogs and not giving them vaccinations

Once harbored her fugitive daughter in Maine, after she kidnapped her young child from a supervised visit while in DCF custody

Stays out of jail by being a well known rat

9. Mustard Meatflap

Completely lost her mind on a guy in the 300 seats at the Garden after her puffy coat accidentally rubbed against his mustard and/or nacho cheese

Immediately posted about it on Facebook, bragging about how she got better seats after she went “all Sicilian on the pathetic mother f***er”

Originally a Webster stripper who started having sex with her boss and quickly got promoted and received great reviews from him at the company

Has been known to leave 3 and 7 year old child home alone to avoid daycare costs

Said that she’d come on the live show but only if we took the video down and claimed that multiple other TV stations wanted exclusive interview with her

Claimed that “we all lose our s*** on people” so it wasn’t a big deal

4. Rizzy Rap Gang vs. 13. Foreskin Fapnado

4. Rizzy Rap Gang

Aspiring Billerica gringo rapper

Shot a ghetto fabulous rap video from an elementary school parking lot, complete with copious amounts of dry humping, fanny packs, tumblers, amateur porn stars, ankle bracelets, and cans of bud light

Video ended up being taken down because Rizzy never paid the guy who produced it

Came on the Live show and vowed to “smack the s*** out of anyone who disrespects my girl

Ironically bragged about all the views his video initially got, not realizing that 99% were from Turtleboy and were there to laugh at him

Offered $1,000 cash to anyone who could produce my name, even though I wrote a book with my name on it titled “I Am Turtleboy”

Released a Facebook video from a Motel 6 with the entire crew drinking Hennessy and dropping n bombs in a response to the blog

Abandoned a crotch fruit named Kayden but still calls himself a good dad despite not paying child support

Got married at the Legion Post and then divorced to the woman in the video with him over the course of two months

Couldn’t sell tickets to a rap concert he performed at and had to make up for the lost money by breaking into cars in Wilmington and getting arrested with his male backup dancer

13. Foreskin Fapnado

Has a long and documented history of sexually harassing strange women online and sending unsolicited pictures of his private areas to them

Attempts to court women by sending screenshots of what he claims is a Discover bank account with hundreds of thousands of dollars in it, but really he cleans dishes at Applebees

Claims to be well endowed and often tells women who turn him down that they are forgoing multiple orgasms

Abandoned his daughter but pretends to be a good Dad by posting private text messages she sends him out of pity

Claimed that a woman in New Jersey asked him to buy her a drink so he did and then dumped it on her, justified by saying that “these sluts got what they deserved”

Bragged about having herpes

Said he was finding out where I lived and sent me pictures of a dozen women he claimed to have fornicated with, all of who deny it

5. Billy Tibbetts vs. 12. Jared the Jet Ski Junkie

5. Billy Tibbetts

Former NHL enforcer and convicted statutory rapist

Ran for Scitutate Board of Selectmen, and his campaign was a series of Facebook Live videos from his mother’s house spreading lies about the police and others who he believes have wronged him over the years

Promised 18 year olds who voted for him that he would throw them a keg party at his Mom’s house after winning, but he lost miserably and blamed it on corruption

In one of the most hilarious concession speech videos of all time he blamed the voters for electing a “crackhead” over him, stated that the people in town were all “white trash scumbag losaaaahhhs”

Claimed that the old ladies in town were all white trash and didn’t like them for giving him lip about his rape conviction

Wouldn’t come on the live show because he claimed to have a phone call with “Donny Trump” while he was “piping your Mom”

A month after losing he was charged with criminal harassment of both the police chief and his sister, who is a teacher in town, after a series of videos alleging the chief sexually assaulted a 9 year old and was the product of incest

Spent 90 days in jail where he briefly redeemed himself by beating up Josh Abrams

Days after being released from jail he was arrested after going to the strip club in Boston, attempting to buy cocaine from an undercover, and refusing to give his crackpipe back to the police

Was released on bail and didn’t show up for his next court date, but was eventually detained and sentenced to a year in jail

12. Jared the Jet Ski Junkie

Attempted to impress a girl at a lake in Plymouth by taking her out on a jet ski and doing tricks, despite her asking him several times to go back to the shore

Ended up crashing into another jet ski and abandoned her in the middle of the lake unconscious

Went on Facebook and blamed her, falsely claiming that she was driving and denied leaving her there, and said that he was the victim because he needed reconstructive surgery

Went on WBZ News and claimed he saved the victim’s life

Is a junkie who was previously arrested for selling Viagra

Often wears flat brimmed Chicago Bulls hats and has the motto “I f*** s*** up” at the top of his Facebook bio

Ended up getting arrested four months later after it was revealed that he was high and he abandoned the victim

3. Amanda Sawyer vs. 14. Manchester Meat Clunge

3. Amanda Sawyer

Wrote nonsensical things about the West Warwick Police being corrupt on the back of her vehicle and offered to drive drunken strangers home from the bar as long as they listened to her ramble on about how her 16 year old son’s ex-girlfriend and the girl’s mother had falsely accused her son of assault

Continuously meddles in her son’s love life and is particularly concerned with establishing the fact that her son broke up with his ex-girlfriend and not vice versa

Repeatedly denied that her son ever touched his ex-girlfriend even though she posted on Facebook that he “put hands on her”

Claims that her son’s ex-gf hacked into his account and sent herself messages so that he would get in trouble for violating a restraining order she took out against him

Pulled her son out of school in order to avoid his ex-gf, recklessly keeping him from getting an education and contributing to the truancy of a minor based on her irrational delusions

Refuses to get a job despite having 5 children, a pit bull, and a boyfriend who seems to pay for everything, because investigating corruption is a job

Wrote “Thank you Turtleboy” on her car because she believed that the blog mocking her was actually promoting her

Harassed and filmed her neighbor, who is slowly being driven insane by her

Sits outside of the West Warwick Police Station for hours on end holding signs alleging corruption and harassment

Dressed up as Wonder Woman and proposed to her boyfriends outside of WWPD headquarters

Was committed to the looney bin by her own mother, but still found a way to use a phone there to call into the Live show and rant about corruption

Eventually figured out that she was not the protagonist in this story and came on the Live show and ranted and screamed profanities about her son never hitting his ex-girlfriend, even though she literally wrote that he had done so in a previous Facebook post

Ended up driving 2.5 hours in the show to court in Springfield with her sons in order to get legal advice from homeless man and reigning Ratchet Madness champion Rian Waters

14. Manchester Meat Clunge

Nineteen year old woman who facilitated, organized, and filmed a fight between middle school girls outside of school

Despite the fact that her sister was 50 pounds lighter than her opponent and was getting thoroughly dominated she continued to make her fight

Wants to be a CNA despite multiple arrests at such a young age

Ended up getting arrested and publicly shamed for it on Manchester Information Facebook page

6. Pawtucket Murder Couple vs. 11. Hull Cool Mom

6. Pawtucket Murder Couple

Shot and killed a woman

Repeatedly posted pictures of guns and threats to murder people on Facebook, using the name Gothshooter Santana

Despite just turning 18 she agreed to marry him and get a target tattooed on her face

Literally killed a woman the day after getting married

11. Hull Cool Mom

Drove her two teenage children and a friend to a nursery in Norwell in order to rob them

Refused to bring back what they stole until being threatened with arrest

Blamed her children and denied any involvement

Considers herself a cool Mom, calls her daughter her best friend, and allowed her to dress like a prostitute while growing up

Ironically posted about her dislike for liars and thieves, along with various memes about how she wants to set a good example for her daughter

Was hit by a car 10 years ago and testified at sentencing that “ At least I deserve to be able to tell my children that when someone does something wrong to another human being they are to be punished”

Dumped her boyfriend with the flat brimmed hat to date the town junkie career criminal

Was arrested with the new boyfriend for shoplifting in Marshfield and being the getaway driver in a high speed chase that went through several red lights

7. Manuel Lucero vs. 10. Masshealth Mastadon

7. Manuel Lucero

Convicted rapist from California who ended up incarcerated in the Worcester County House of Corrections

Sued the jail several times, including once when he was denied the right to have sex with another prisoner

Professional con-artist who pretended to be some sort of computer forensics expert and wrote a non-sensical brief (from jail) about why his prison boyfriend Adam Walker was set up by the ADA he had been stalking and harassing

Called me pretending to be an attorney and threatened to sue me

Called the Prescott, AZ police and claimed that I was threatening him

When a Prescott cop called me on the live show I thought it was him setting me up again so I said sexually derogatory things to a police officer repeatedly

Fake resume includes internship with congressman, chairman with the National Lawyers Guild, veteran status, business owner, lawyer, and doctor

Sent himself death threats using a burner app, appearing to be from my phone number, in order to get a temporary restraining order against me in an Arizona court

Ended up getting arrested and sent back to jail because he wasn’t allowed to travel more than 50 miles from California as part of his conditions of being a sex offender

10. Masshealth Mastadon

Featured years ago on TBS after some Revere ratchets accused her of spreading HIV

Contracted a flesh eating disease from doing too much heroin and immediately started a fundraiser for her medical funds despite being on Mass Health

Pretended to cry on a Facebook Live video from the hospital and complained that her flesh eating wound prevented her from using her breasts and read end to make more money for herself

Shared the GoFundMe dozens of times over the period of months and frequently changed her story about why she needed money

Bragged about being clean while frequently posting about needing weed

Ended up using the money raised to get her eyebrows done “on fleek” and claimed that her drug of choice was using donated money to buy new clothes, despite the fundraiser claiming to raise money for her to purchase a computer so she could enroll in school

2. Josh Abrams vs. 15. Wareham Bumrush Mom

2. Josh Abrams

Unemployed man who lives with his elderly parents in Stoneham and makes money on YouTube harassing and filming police officers, DTA workers, RMV employees, and other gainfully employed individuals

Arrested at the straight pride parade for harassing the police and refusing to disperse

Was the only person at the parade who was rejected by the police, straight pride participants, and Antifa

Was held without bail due to pending unarmed robbery charge in Woburn Superior Court

While in jail was beaten up by Billy Tibbetts

Later read the incident report on a live stream, claiming that he beat up Tibbetts, while specifically adding language that was’t in the report

Set up a former coworker to be jumped and kidnapped after being disciplined at work

Intimidated the victim in that case in full view of the police

Abused a woman while pregnant with his child who he has since abandoned

Assaulted the mother of his child and kidnapped the crotch fruit

Told police he would not abide by restraining order

Parked in a handicapped spot days after auditing the Brockton Police for using a handicapped spot

Sold out friend and auditor Joe Orga at the Worcester Police Station, allowing him to be arrested while Josh walked away and followed police orders

Testified in front of the Worcester City Council about police corruption, plugged his YouTube channel, no one had any idea what he was talking about

Illegally wire tapped his probation officer who would not confirm on tape that Josh had passed a drug test

Was arrested by police in Seekonk for attempting to rape his ex-gf in a motel because she would not have sex with him after he forced her to have sex with a man named Julio in front of him for money

15. Wareham Bumrush Mom

Allows her daughter to dress like a boy and then feigns outrage when they mistake her for being a boy

In a viral Facebook post she alleged that her daughter was discriminated against at a children’s dance because she was mistaken for being a boy in the girl’s bathroom

Despite the fact that the girl’s stepdad was a chaperone she still drove to the dance, barged in, and assaulted at least two children while attempting to hunt down the chaperone who mistook her daughter for a boy

Ended up getting a no trespass order against her by the youth football league that put on the dance, and the school the dance was hosted at

Announced in ALL CAPS that this order would not deter her from pursuing justice for her daughter/son