Name: Scott Baio.

Age: 55.

Appearance: More affordable Al Pacino.

Occupation: Actor. You might remember him as the teen heartthrob Chachi in Happy Days, and later as the main character in Charles in Charge. As a child, he also played Bugsy in Bugsy Malone.

Bugsy Malone! I love that film! What’s he up to these days? Rabble-rousing for Donald Trump, mainly.

The Manhattan Mussolini? Yup. Baio is a big fan, and has now been revealed as one of the “winners”, like NFL superstar Tom Brady, who Trump said he would bring to support him at the Republican convention in Cleveland.

I … see. With all due respect for Baio’s early work, how much winning has he actually done since the 1980s? Oh, well, you know. No huge hits, but he has kept in work. He was in Diagnosis Murder for a couple of seasons in the early 1990s. In 2004 he starred in Superbabies: Baby Geniuses 2, which is now widely considered one of the worst films ever made. That’s winning, in a way.

Yeah. In a way. Who else has Trump got speaking for him? Well, not Tom Brady in the end. But there’s Dana White.

Who? President of the Ultimate Fighting Championship.

OK. And Antonio Sabato Jr.

Who? A former model who went on to appear in daytime soaps and reality TV.

OK. And, of course, there’s Ben Carson, Chris Christie, Rick Perry, Scott Walker, Marco Rubio and Ted Cruz.

How are they winners? Didn’t they all just lose to Trump? They very much did.

So what does Baio see in Trump? Well, he likes his idea of banning Muslims from America in order to prevent terrorism, which he contrasts with the weak approach of Clinton and Obama. “The fact that the rest of the country doesn’t see this is beyond my comprehension,” he says.

Yes, I can believe that. Plus he told he told Jeanine Pirro on Fox on Saturday, “I’ve gotten so much time to talk about Donald Trump … I’ve done I don’t know how many interviews, and radio, and print, and things like that.” So maybe he’s enjoying the attention?

I can believe that, too. Indeed.

Do say: I don’t suppose there are any bigger movie stars we can get at the last minute?

Don’t say: How about Clint Eastwood? He was great last time.