So I’ve been on vacation with my 3 Autistic kids for a few days and I’ve realized a few things.

For starters, my kids are amazing. There’s absolutely zero question about that. I love being with them and I wouldn’t trade these moments for anything in the world. This is proving to be an experience that we will not soon forget.

It’s not perfect though and I’m learning about my limitations as a person.

Taking 3 kids on a cross country road trip can be challenging in general. Taking 3 Autistic kids on a cross country road trip and doing so alone, is unbelievably challenging.

Today was particularly tough for me and I was in a horrible mood for part of it.

The problem wasn’t really the kids or the fact that they are Autistic and more challenging. The issue was more the fact I was tired, overwhelmed and emotionally struggling a bit.

Normally, I can cope quite well with the challenges associated with being an Autism parent but this is the first time I’ve traveled with my kids alone. We’ve taken countless day trips but a cross country trip has not been in the cards, until now.

I’m struggling a great deal with Gavin because he’s struggling with many aspects of his life. He’s cognitively struggling and for some reason, he’s not eating much of anything. Gavin is such a sweet kid and I’m doing my best but my best isn’t nearly enough. He really needs a team approach and working with him on my own, isn’t really fair to him or me or the other kids.

It’s less noticeable when we’re at home but it’s painfully and disturbingly obvious now that we’re 1,000 miles away from it.

Yesterday was just very difficult for me and I feel like I handled it poorly. I wasn’t a dick but I definitely wasn’t as patient as I should have been.

At the end of the day, we survived and had a fantastic day. I’ll share all the details of the trip once we arrive home. Until then, I’m just taking everything in..