Unlike a lot of the men here, I haven’t sworn off relationships, dating, and sex. I don’t think that the female sex is the devil incarnate; and since there are over 3.5 billion women in this world, all of whom individuals with unique tastes and biases, I’m certain that there exists at least a couple whom I could get along and be happy with.

Problem is, I’ll probably never even meet them, because it’s gotten to the point where I really just can’t be bothered.

I’ll see a cute girl somewhere, and there’s one voice that says: “Why don’t you go and talk to her?” and another voice that replies: “Because what will come of it? Best case scenario is that she gives you her number, you call her, and the first miracle—she answers—another miracle—she agrees to meet you—another miracle—she actually shows up—another miracle—you get along—another miracle—she either agrees and follows through to meet you a second time or has sex with you—and the biggest miracle—you find someone you really like to be with. Worst case scenario, and the most likely, is that you talk to her, it feels like something is happening, she seems like an interesting person, but it’s really just a facade, and she wants nothing to do with you—and you’ve lost ten minutes you’ll never get back.”

A few years ago, the first voice was louder. Now, the second voice is overpowering.

PUAs say that women want to be talked to, and they appear distant only because they like it when men pursue them. Yet to me, the thought of putting in time and effort talking to women (and, make no mistake, interacting with women and dating are WORK), which will serve only to stroke their egos, and possibly give them an excuse to call me a creep, seems like a tremendous waste of time.

It’s a game, and the expected value is WAY too low. It’s negative.

And the rationalization “it’s just a numbers game; keep at it, because you have to get only one to be happy” is holding less and less weight. “You only have to win once.” Yeah, well you also have to win the lottery “only” once to become stupidly rich, but the expected value of playing the lottery is a negative number, so even if you do “win,” you’ve still lost. Lottery tickets aren’t free.

I want sex and company, but I don’t want/can’t put in the effort to get it. Does that make me a “loser who can’t get laid”? Maybe, but I’m caring less and less. If the public library next door hosts a singles dating night, if a friend wants to set me up, if I get a girl’s number, if something happens such that the pursuit of a romantic prospect involves a minimal amount of effort, I’ll go, I’ll agree, I’ll call, but if she’s not pursuing me as much as I’m pursuing her, I can’t muster the will. That’s fine that women want a guy to call back after she doesn’t return her call or flakes—she can find someone else, but it’s not going to be me. (And she also shouldn’t get surprised later if she finds that she wakes up one day and realizes she can’t respect this guy, who keeps feeding her attention even when she ignores him.)

Sorry for the ramble. If you’ve gotten this far, thanks for reading. Wonderful website you’ve got here, wonderful people, but so much pain.