My earliest culinary memories are of eating hamburgers.

I remember going to a drive-in with my dear old dad, cruising to a White Castle in the family Studebaker (with the classic bullet tip nose), and watching in wonder as he’d order two dozen burgers for himself, my mother, my sister and myself. They cost 12 cents each, and they were just wonderful.

In case you’ve never had the pleasure of a White Castle burger (by and large an Eastern phenomenon), you must understand that for your 12 cents, what you got was basically a roll with a spot of grease on it. It was a soft, sweet roll, pure candy, into which the thinnest burger (with holes punched in it “for quicker cooking”) was dropped and covered with grilled onions, a sweet pickle slice and a squeeze of ketchup.

It was heaven incarnate — and it was served to you in your car by a carhop, who did not arrive on roller skates.

The story of the hamburger is a fairly well-known tale among those with a taste for culinary history.

It was born among the Tatars of the Russian steppes and adopted by the Germans around the 14th century. Because of its popularity in the seaport town of Hamburg, it earned the name “Hamburg steak,” which became “hamburger” when it was served to admiring crowds of Americans at the 1904 St. Louis World’s Fair.

A century later, we are in an age of the hamburger in excelsis, an ironic return to the styles of more than 150 years ago, when New York’s Delmonico’s, the finest restaurant of its age, listed “Hamburg steak” among its dishes.

Oscar Tschirsky, the legendary Oscar of the Waldorf, included “Hamburg steak” in his 1896 cookbook.

From the highest of the high to the lowest of the low, the hamburger has always been the most American of dishes, of totems, of icons.

Like the flag and Mom’s apple pie, the hamburger is a bit of pure, uncut Americana. It’s become a world unto itself, a world where our national fantasies live and play. And here in the San Fernando Valley, we live in Hamburger Heaven, complete with mustard, ketchup, mayo, Thousand Island dressing, lettuce, tomato, chili and bacon.

It’s heaven on a seeded roll.

San Fernando Valley’s best burgers

• Long before there were branches of The Stand (17000 Ventura Blvd.; 818-788-2700, thestandlink.com) all over Southern California, there was the original in Encino, with its sizable outdoor patio and it’s equally sizable menu of classic Stand Burgers, 12 or them, not near as fancy and overdone as the competition that’s come along since, but certainly sufficient — and more than sufficiently good.

These burgers walk the line between old school and future shock without ever falling into the void — from the basic Stand Burger, topped with grilled onion, lettuce, tomato, pickles and the vinegarish Stand Sauce, through an oddity called the French Onion Soup Burger (on a double Parmesan-crusted bun with Gruyere, red wine onions and an “onion soup au jus”), the Ultimate Egg Burger (with double American cheese, a fried egg and bacon), the Epic Pastrami Burger (with double Swiss cheese) and the El Capitan (a beef patty, braised short ribs, guacamole and chimichurri sauce).

• There’s nothing new school about the food served at the fabled Bill & Hiroko’s Burgers (14742 Oxnard St., Van Nuys; 818-785-4086), where owner Bill Elwell can be found at his grill Monday through Friday, flipping burgers from 8:30 in the morning till 4 in the afternoon — not bad for a fellow in his 90s.

The counter in the front actually offers a better view of Bill bent over his well-seasoned grill, finessing patties that have been freshly ground daily. They’re placed on buns with lettuce, tomato and cheese melted on top.

You get a small bag of Lay’s potato chips with the burger — indeed, with most everything you order. And that’s pretty much it.

Though there are sundry variations — the burgers come with cheese, or without. You can opt for a double burger. There are hot dogs, chili dogs and the chili-topped burger called a “chili size” — a name with roots that are lost to history.

• At the heart of the Blue Dog Beer Tavern (4524 Saugus Ave., Sherman Oaks; 818-990-2583, bluedogbeertavern.com), there’s the beer, and lots of it. But though I do believe one can live on beer alone, there’s much more as well.

You like your fries — no worries. Aside from garlic fries and garlic-Parmesan fries, there are Shore Fries (with jalapeno cheese sauce), chili-cheese fries, loaded chili-cheese fries, Irish Fries (with bacon, sour cream and cheese sauce), pulled pork fries (with cheddar and spicy sour cream), nacho fries — and a creation for four to six hungry sorts called The Works, with pretty much everything on it. There’s a spicy mac ’n’ cheese and cheesesteak nachos.

And then, there are the burgers, 12 in all, each heavily cheese based — except for The Saugus, which is the house vegan burger. And I think you can request cheese as an add-on if you want. Bacon, too — which might do wonders for a vegan burger.

The Good Karma Burgers comes with not one but “TWO layers of cheddar.” This is cheerful overkill — but the right food for the beer.

• Fat Sal’s (16901 Ventura Blvd., Encino; 855-682-4373, fatsalsdeli.com) is a tribute to excess, a restaurant (with several other branches around town) that declares its over-the-top madness in its name and its slogan: “We’re Makin’ Sandwiches Over Here.” And, yes, they are.

This is not food for dieters, teetotalers or the mild of spirit. This is food for livin’ large.

Let us begin with the Big Sandwich, the Grand Gesture, the Monster. It’s called the Big Fat Fatty. (There is no linguistic PC here!) It costs $49.99. It contains cheesesteak, cheeseburgers, pastrami, chicken fingers, bacon, mozzarella sticks, fried eggs, French fries, onion rings, chili, marinara sauce and “Fat Sauce” on a 27-inch garlic hero. It’s not available for delivery.

It exists, oddly, only for a Food Challenge — if one Fatty Fan can eat the whole thing in 40 minutes, they get it for free, and get a sandwich of their own design, which they can name. And dream of while they digest. For a long time.

• Like The Stand, Burger Lounge (4550 Van Nuys Blvd., Sherman Oaks; 818-905-7319, burgerlounge.com) is a chain — and there’s nothing wrong with that. As the name suggests, the Lounge is all about the burgers, “handcrafted” and totally satisfying.

From The Lounge Burger (with melted cheese, grilled or fresh onions and the house Thousand Island dressing) through the Classic (made with organic American cheese and organic ketchup) and the Husky (with double everything), these are burgers that stay within reason in terms of proportion and balance, but satisfy well beyond those bounds.

Though I do wish the Little Lounge Burger were really a little burger. I’ve never quite gotten over my love of White Castle and its sliders.

Classic burgers of Los Angeles

• The Apple Pan (10801 W. Pico Blvd., West Los Angeles; 310-475-3585) was, for many years, the single best hamburger in Los Angeles, and for good reason. What we have here is a half-century-old shack with a horseshoe-shaped counter inside, in the middle of which is the kitchen.

The burgers are cooked to order in front of you, topped with whatever you want, including a fine hickory-flavored sauce. The french fries can’t be beat. The countermen are Los Angeles originals — there’s no one in town with their burger joint finesse. Some say the tuna salad sandwich is even better than the burgers, and others opt for the joys of the egg salad sandwich.

I actually prefer the peach pie over the apple pie, but what the heck? Just being in the Apple Pan is pleasure enough.

• There are two hamburgers served at The Grill (9560 Dayton Way, Beverly Hills; 310-276-0615, thegrill.com), one with freshly ground beefsteak with onions, the other with freshly ground plank steak. They’re both the same burger — three-quarters of a pound of lean, perfectly grilled beef. The difference is one arrives on a plate with fried onions, the other on a wooden plank, surrounded by an ornate border of browned, mashed potatoes.

• At Taylor’s Prime Steak House (3361 W. Eighth St., Los Angeles; 213-382-8449, taylorssteakhouse.com), the burgers are served with soup or salad, and with a baked potato or fries. The patties are made from freshly ground prime steak trimmings, formed into burgers by hand. They’re grilled to perfection — the quintessence of the upscale burger in a setting that John Huston would have loved. And if you like wine with your burger, there used to be a 1928 Lafite for $500 on the menu. Red wine goes so well with hamburgers.

• With dozens of branches throughout Southern California (call 818-287-4377 for the location nearest you; in-n-out.com), In-N-Out is our most beloved homegrown chain. It’s also a burger chain with a cult following — when new branches open, there are lines in front akin to those found at the McDonald’s in Moscow. It was also rated the top fast-food chain in America in a poll conducted by the Zagat Survey, with lots of fans agreeing that this is the best nongreasy, real burger around, chain-division. And at In-N-Out, you always get a lot for the money — and some fantastic fries as well.

Merrill Shindler is a Los Angeles-based freelance dining critic. Send him email at mreats@aol.com.