CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | Contact

Ambulance crews are on the scene at a prominent high-end fast food outlet this afternoon, following an incident at the condiments table.

The Betoota Grove man says all he was trying to do was get a decent splash of Peri Peri on his shameful post-work sit-down quarter chicken and chips.

“I was gonna get stuck in peak hour anyway” says Declan Liston (32) who sounded more like he was trying to justify his heavy late-afternoon meal to his wife than our reporters.

“I just thought I’d smash some European food until the traffic dies down. I didn’t want this to be a big thing. I put it on the splurge account. Just fucken get those cameras away from me”

The mid-to-weirdly-high-priced Portuguese chicken retailer, known as Nandos, is one of three franchises in our town’s not that shitty suburbs. The restaurant chain has for many years faced feirce criticism over its impossible sauce containers.

Ambulance personal say they attend five to six Nandos-sauce-related call-outs each week, and Declan is one of the lucky ones.

“He’s lucky he didn’t put his back out, or land on one of the pointy chairs with his head” said the QLD ambulance first-responder, Campbell Beattie.

“As emergency workers, we aren’t in a position to comment on public safety, but personally I think something needs to change. They need squeezable bottles or something. Someone is gonna die soon”

A spokesperson for Nandos said they send their condolences to Declan, but if he wants an unlimited stream of sauce on his chicken he should re-mortgage his house and buy a take-home bottle in-store.