A Bug In The System



I have this recent proclivity to correlate conservative politics with illness and disease but that's not bad-tempered spite, that's biology. I mean, if you're born a bird, you lay eggs. If you're born a mouse, you die of myxomatosis. But if you're born a conservative politician you seemingly spend every waking moment trying to fuck the poor out of their last dime for the benefit your masters, whose only discernable goal is to win the Bigger Dick Contest against the oligarch with the next obscenely vast accruance of blood money.



Have you heard the official reason why the GOP is blocking additional funds to fight Zika-bearing mosquitoes? The Hard Right is all a-tremble that Mr. Obama would "use it for other things". They didn't specify exactly what other things but I kinda doubt it involves trading drugs for arms to fund nun-killing rebels in a secret South American war. I mean, Reagan already been there, done that.



However, truth be told, the President DID recently shuffle funds around in, I suppose, a manner that will have you holding your breath in shock and amazement...



The Prez took money from funds allocated for Ebola and applied it towards Zika research. Remember Ebola? How the conservative media scared the fucking pants off low-information voters right before the 2014 mid-terms, bellowing night and day that an Ebola Apocalypse was upon us and it was nobody's fault but the damn Democrats? Yeah, that Ebola.



So when does the GOP plant to reconsider the Prez's request for new funding? They're saying October at the earliest. You know, right before the elections and right after a summer of "OH MY GOD! ZIKA'S COMING! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES! AND BLAME THE DEMOCRATS!!!!!"



"Now here's Ted with the weather."



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Since today is Memorial Day I'd like to give a big friendly "Thanks, suckers!" to all the men in uniform who died for the benefit of our mighty corporations.



I know I sound like a total ass here but I'm tired of young Americans dying for minimum wage and then enduring the endless propaganda that they be treated like heroes when the better description is "cannon fodder". (Not saying "Thank you for your service" is almost the current equivalent of saying "Fuck Hitler!" in Berlin in 1939.) Eventually our young men and women will quit falling for this fake patriotism stuff (especially once they learn the difference between a building falling down and one being blown to smithereens) and realize they can get an education that doesn't involve digging giant sand spiders out of your shorts each morning or dying from electrocution in Halliburton-designed showers.



In my defense I will say that the moment that it ever becomes undeniably certain that this country is threatened by imminent invasion I'll be as close as possible to the fighting with something dangerous in my hands. And if the enemy overwhelms our defenses and sets up armed camps within our shores I'll be home quietly making IEDs to warmly greet them on their morning patrols.



You know, just like the people of Iraq did when we invaded them.







=Lefty=

