Jeremy Clarkson has said a thing.

The former Top Gear presenter said the thing in his newspaper column or on the radio, immediately prompting speculation that he could be about to do something or not do something or say another thing. Probably.

The thing is almost certain to fuel rumours that something something something colleagues James May and Richard Hammond blah blah large sum of money words words words Netflix.

Something something Chris Evans. Blah blah Jodie Kidd. Yadda yadda Philip Glennister etc etc etc same old shit we’ve written 26 times before.

Blah blah blah punching a producer cut and paste this paragraph from the last story about Jeremy Clarkson, and the 109 others before that.

Will this do? Good. Quick, get it up on the website.

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