BARACK OBAMA (1/14/2014): We are not just going to be waiting for legislation in order to make sure that we're providing Americans with the kind of help that they need. I've got a pen, and I've got a phone.

Now fortunately, Speaker of the House John Boehner is putting an end to this overreach.



BETTY NGUYEN (6/26/2014): House Speaker John Boehner says he is filing a lawsuit against the Obama administration on behalf of Congress. He's accusing the President of going around the law by using executive orders.

And you'll never guess what Boehner is suing Obama over. Unless you guessed Obamacare. (audience laughter) Jim?



POPPY HARLOW (7/11/2014): Boehner says President Obama overstepped his authority when he delayed the employer mandate portion of Obamacare without first seeking Congressional approval. JOHN BOEHNER (7/10/2014): What we're talking about here are places where the President is basically rewriting law to make it fit his own needs.

And Obama's overuse of executive orders is unprecedented in a modern American history, in that he has issued fewer than any President since FDR. (audience laughter) And don't tell me that every President issued executive orders. Because William Henry Harrison did not sign a single executive order. Instead, this good man chose to die of pneumonia 30 days into office! (audience laughter) That's called leadership!

Now, conservatives like myself have supported a unitary executive and use of executive orders in the past. But there's something about this President that makes the whole thing seem ... shady. (audience ooohs) Something ... I'm upset too. Something he shares with Attorney General Eric Holder.



ERIC HOLDER (1/13/2014): There's a certain level of vehemence, it seems to me, that's directed at me, directed at the President. ... There's a certain racial component to this force. Some people ... for some, there's a racial animus.

Well, Holder's accusation brings me to another edition of my long award-losing segment, Thank You, Racism.

(audience cheering and applause)

You see, last week Eric Holder stood by his previous statement, that Americans are "essentially a nation of cowards" when it comes to talking about race. But Holder could not be further from the—let's say—truth. Because I see only now that executive orders have always been wrong.

But without my apparent distrust of black people, I wouldn't have had the courage to suddenly be moved to protect the Constitution from the overreach I didn't care about before. Now, I am standing up for America, or against Obama. Whatever, same diff.

Now I know, I've said some terrible things about racism in the past, folks. I guess ... I guess I prejudged racism without really knowing it. And for that, I'm sorry, racism.

Now folks, some say that Boehner's lawsuit is a long-shot, but I say it's a long slam dunk. Because while I was balls deep in cobbler over the Fourth, (audience laughter) I learned—I was up to the blueberries, baby—I learned that I no longer have to pay for slut pills, aka whore pellets, aka Vitamin Bow Chicka Bow Wow. (audience laughter) Jim?



SEAN HANNITY (6/30/2014): The Supreme Court of the United States delivered a major blow to President Obama's health care law today in a major victory for religious freedom. In a 5-4 decision, the Justices ruled in favor of the Hobby Lobby craft chain, saying that closely held corporations can in fact opt out of the Obamacare contraception mandate due to religious objections. DAN HENNINGER (7/5/2014): This is a big victory for religious freedom. JAY SEKULOW (7/1/2014): ... the gigantic victories ... ERIC BOLLING (6/30/2014): A victory for common sense. BILL O'REILLY (6/30/2014): Big victory for traditional Americans.

Yes, in a unanimous 5-4 decision, the Supreme Court's Catholic men have ruled that a woman's right to contraception does not trump her employer's right to believe she shouldn't be taking it.

And it's based on the sound principle that the government doesn't have the authority to force closely held corporations to violate their religious beliefs. Oh, and it's probably not a big deal, but they also ruled that corporations have religious beliefs. (audience laughter)

I mean, it makes sense. Hobby Lobby, obviously Christian. Panda Express is Jewish ... at Christmastime. And, Papa John's, of course, is atheist, because their pizza makes you doubt there is a God. (audience laughter) We'll be right back.