Would you annihilate us if you had the chance?

That's such an anti-social thing to do

You've got us crapping our collective pants

May I suggest you take it down a notch or two?



We're not exactly sure why you're upset

Did that Seth Rogen movie make you super mad?

You'd like us if you got to know us, I bet

We're mostly harmless, peaceful people

Hey, we're really not so bad

My point is:



Please don't nuke us, North Korea

Right now, we're all a little tense

We don't hate you

Frankly, we don't think that much about you

No offense!



Now, you might call us blood-thirsty dogs

But that metaphor is not very apt

We're just a bunch of simple, fidget-spinning, goofy dorks

Who probably couldn't find your country on a map



No, we're not savages or cannibals

Well, maybe just a really, really, really, small percent

So I think it would be best

If you'd knock down those missile tests



Don’t turn us into cinder

While we’re swiping right on Tinder

Don't jump-start Armageddon

Or our beds we'll soon be wettin'

Would ya think this through for a moment, please?

Now why would ya bomb our nice celebrities

Why in the world would you kill Tom Hanks?

'Cause nobody doesn't like Tom Hanks!



So please don't nuke us, North Korea

That would seriously ruin our day

Remember

We're not evil, psychotic monsters

No matter what your news may say

We're just some goofballs from the USA

(please don't nuke us, please don't nuke us)

HEY!