At first I was afraid, I was petrified

Kept thinking I could never turn Spurs into a top four side

Then I spent oh so many nights thinking we could win the league

I was wrong, but I’ll just have to carry on

So now we’re back, into fourth place

We were up there till December, but we’ll never win the race

I should have sold that bloody Friedel, should have dropped him from the team

If I had known for just one second he’d concede more than Derby

So many matches, ended up 2-2

At half time we were winning, then we went and effing drew!

And now I’m twitching while I’m thinking, should I just sell Jermain Defoe?

Woy’s got the England job, so I’m feeling pretty low

Go on now go – Bale, there’s the door

Your form’s gone down and we’ve still got Adebayor

Oh no we can’t afford him, City still must pay the wage

I’ll get someone from the youth team who are cheap but underage

But I, I will survive

Oh, if we’d have had just two more points our dream would be alive

But Ledley’s almost dead, Kaboul’s just overfed

But I’ll survive, I will survive

It took all the strength I had, not to fall apart

When I was up before the beak for that tax evasion lark

And I spent oh so many nights trying to book Monaco flights

Cos I can’t read, so BA’s terms are all meaningless to me

And as for Modric, it’s what I feared

Wants double wages if he’s staying but the money’s disappeared

If I sell him to the Chavs then all the fans want rid of me

Is there nothing I can do, maybe I can buy that Dembele?

But I, I will survive

Levy wants the Special One because he’s got more drive

I should have gone to Liverpool, can I go back to West Ham?

I know one thing for certain, I’m better than Fat Sam!

Go on now Joe, let me out the door

Can’t stick it with these dirty scum fans any more

Tottenham have no class, my heart was always with the Arse

So I’ll survive, yes I’ll surviiiiiiiiiiiiive!

Follow me on Twitter: @AngryOfN5 Triffic.

And check out the comments, particularly if you’re an Arsenal fan. Well worth a few minutes.