Struggling to power through a workout? Can’t help a fifth trip to the fridge? A study suggests talking to ourselves in the second person may aid willpower and self-control.

The Study

A team of social psychologists led by University of North Carolina’s Ethan Zell asked three groups of college-age men and women to jot down what they imagined they’d say to themselves (in their heads) in different situations. One group imagined negative and positive scenarios (being boo’d at a karaoke bar v. being applauded). Another group imagined making decisions and being told what to do (opting to order zucchini v. being forced to). The third group thought about different stages of planning for, attending, and reflecting on an event. Participants used more second-person statements when envisioning themselves in negative situations, making decisions, and participating in an event (as opposed to planning or reflecting). First-person use cropped up more when participants saw themselves in positive scenarios, gearing up for and analyzing events, and being told what to do. Talking to yourself as if you were someone else may boost self-control in some situations by “dividing that self into commander and doer,” Zell says.

Can We Trust It?