Sleep Training is helping your baby learn how to fall asleep and stay asleep independently. Simpler than you thought, right?

There’s an awful lot of information on how to sleep train out there, leaving most parents confused, frustrated, and still wondering what sleep training is and how to do it. In this article, we’ve rounded up all the facts from real moms and professional sleep consultants on what sleep training is, how to do it, and how to decide if it’s right for you.

First, let us introduce you to Melissa, mom of 6 month old Theo (@mohrlivingmama on Instagram). After struggling with sleep training, Melissa offered to share her personal story and best tips for other moms thinking of giving sleep training a try. Since it's always most helpful to hear from a mom who's been there, throughout our Sleep Training Guide Melissa will be sharing what worked for her and her son during sleep training.

What is sleep training? It might be strange to think of sleeping as a skill that does not come naturally. As a new parent, you’re probably so exhausted that you pass out as soon as your head hits the pillow. Your baby, however, doesn’t have this same ability yet. Although they spend a lot of time sleeping, they need to learn when to sleep (day vs. night) and how to sleep. Until they do, they need your assistance, which is why you (as you should) help soothe them to sleep at bedtime and comfort them when they wake in the middle of the night. Sleep training is teaching your baby how to sleep without any help from you - just like you’re able to fall asleep without anyone there to help you do it. FROM THE EXPERTS “Everybody with a baby has been sleep training since the minute the baby arrived on the scene. Learning to sleep is a skill that we teach with swaddles, pacifiers, swings, nursing, white noise, consistency, and bedtime routines. All of these, collectively, constitute sleep training." - Alexis, Precious Little Sleep

If you google “what is sleep training?” you’ll find the following definition: “The process of training young children to fall asleep on their own, typically by means of techniques in which the child is left to cry without being comforted, either for gradually increasing periods of time or until they fall asleep.” It’s definitions like this that have given the general term “sleep training” a bit of a bad rep. There are certain methods of sleep training, such as “Cry-It-Out” or the Ferber method, that might make some parents wearisome of sleep training as a whole. However, sleep training does not necessarily equal cry it out. There are many different sleep training methods and practices behind sleep training, including gentle sleep training—the most important part of sleep training is finding the method that works best for you and your baby!

Sleep training looks different for every family based on their needs and what they are comfortable with. So before we go any further, let’s establish what sleep training is NOT:

Sleep training is NOT "Cry It Out" if you don't want it to be

Sleep training is NOT neglecting your baby

Sleep training is NOT denying your baby food when they are hungry at night

Sleep training is NOT about getting your baby on the schedule that’s best for you

Alternatively, look at the term sleep training like this: sleep training is giving my baby the tools and skills they need to help them sleep better on their own in a way that me and my family are comfortable with.

When Should I Start Sleep Training?

“When should I start sleep training?” is almost a trick question. There's no one "sleep training age" — the answer will be different for every baby! Plus, there’s a different question you should be asking first: How do I know if I’m ready for sleep training?

That’s right! Your baby of course needs to be ready - but before they are, YOU need to be ready too. Sleep training requires a commitment from parents. You’ll also want to be sure you’re logistically ready for sleep training, as it’s best to start when you don’t have anything that might disrupt the training coming in the near future, such as a vacation or trip.

QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF BEFORE SLEEP TRAINING: 1. What does my schedule look like for the next few weeks? Any events, trips, etc. that might disrupt sleep training?

2. Have I done enough research to figure out which sleep training method I’m comfortable with and how to properly implement it?

3. Am I ready to fully commit to the process and consistently follow a plan for 2-4 weeks?

4. Have I discussed sleep training with my partner? Is the whole family on board and willing to make this a success?

5. Am I willing and able to make the changes necessary for sleep training?



Answering these questions will require that you do your research and communicate with your partner or anyone living in your home. We’ll talk more about how to prepare for sleep training later on. But keep these questions in mind while you begin your research on sleep training.

Once you’ve decided that you’re ready for sleep training, you’ll need to determine if your baby is ready too. First, get clearance from their pediatrician to rule out any other health or medical factors that could be playing a role in your child’s sleep.

FROM THE EXPERTS “I always say bedtime and nap routines can start from day 1. A child is never too young to learn healthy sleep habits and routines! But to get a baby sleeping through the night there are a few things I check. The baby should be at least 15 lbs, no medical concerns, and on a healthy growth curve approved by their pediatrician. If all these points are met, then I'm ready to start getting that little one sleeping through the night!" - Rachel Turner, Hello Sleep



Next, consider their age. Most babies are not ready for “formal” sleep training until 4 to 5 months old. However, setting up healthy sleep habits can start from birth. Establishing bedtime routines, putting your baby down drowsy but awake, and other techniques can lay the foundation for sleep training.

The first time around, Melissa didn’t have much success sleep training Theo - he just wasn’t ready yet! Here’s how she knew when it was time to try again:



As your baby gets older their sleep cycle will start to change (which is the main reason behind the 4 month sleep regression) often sending parents searching for sleep training solutions. Before this point, your goal should be to teach them good sleep habits.

AGES & STAGES OF SLEEP TRAINING

0-6 Weeks SLEEP SURVIVING As a newborn, the most important thing is getting enough sleep. No need to stress over schedules, routines, or training here. 2-3 Months SLEEP LEARNING Although it's still a bit early for formal training, your baby is old enough to start learning routines and schedules. Start incorporating a set bedtime routine and healthy sleep habit. 4-6 Months SLEEP TRAINING Now you can introduce some "formal" sleep training. Your baby's sleep cycle changes around this age, which means they can start to learn how to fall asleep and self-soothe.



Is it ever too late to sleep train?

If your baby is past the 6 month mark, you might be asking “is it too late to sleep train my child?” Many parents wait to sleep train hoping that their child will just grow out of being a “bad” sleeper. Luckily, sleep training has no expiration date and can be done with babies at any age - even into toddlerhood!

How do I know if my baby needs sleep training?

Parents often wonder how to know if your child needs sleep training or if their sleep habits are just something they’ll grow out of. If your baby is consistently cranky and overtired, it's probably time to look into helping them become a better sleeper. And as Melissa noted, she started sleep training the second time around because she could tell her son was just as frustrated as she was about not sleeping!

Healthy sleep is so important for your baby AND you! If your baby isn’t sleeping, chances are you aren’t either. Sleep deprivation in children has been linked to obesity, behavioral problems, learning issues, and more later on in life. Sleep deprivation in adults can lead to similar issues, and has even been shown to play a role in Postpartum Anxiety and even depression in parents. Teaching and establishing healthy sleep habits right from the start will make sleep training easier and, more importantly, help keep you and your baby well-rested!



How do I prepare for sleep training?

There are a number of ways you can prepare yourself and your baby for sleep training, but the most important step in your preparation is: research.

Do your research! There is a lot of information about there about sleep training, and much of it is controversial or contradicting. However, just like making any important decision, your choice to sleep train (or not sleep train) should be informed by your own reading, research, and inferences. Furthermore, there are many different methods of sleep training (which we’ll cover in this article as well) and you’ll need to decide which method is right for you.

As we previously mentioned, introducing healthy sleep habits and routines as early as possible will help significantly during sleep training. If you haven’t already, try to establish a bedtime routine before you start sleep training baby — this will encourage healthy baby sleep patterns. This should be a series of soothing activities that help to calm your baby and prepare them for sleep - things like swaddling, bathing, and rocking usually work well, but every family’s routine will look different.