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We're all for an interesting survey at Glasgow Live .

At the end of the day - you cannot question numbers and cold, hard facts.

But we've come across some recent findings that, in our opinion, take the absolute biscuit.

Ronseal, the people who sell wood stain for your decking, have conducted a survey determining the 'banter' capital of Britain, as reported in The Mirror.

Yes, you read that right.

How ironic that a firm that deals with planks of wood on a daily basis is judging who has the best sense of humour in the UK.

Now we don't want to come across as 'Bitter Bettys' - but Glasgow hasn't even made the top ten.

Even worse, Edinburgh ranks number eight.

Edinburgh? Really?

(Image: Dave J Hogan/Getty Images)

Aside from the fact that the home of Kevin Bridges, Billy Connolly, and Frankie Boyle has been completely snubbed, we think this survey provides more of a laugh that all of the featured UK cities put together.

Sorry, but it's true.

First and foremost, anybody who uses the word 'banter', especially as the headline of a survey has no concept of banter, lacks banter and is incapable of coming up with top banter.

And anyway, the word is patter.

As if that wasn't bad enough, the most 'banteriffic' city in the UK, according to the decking painters, is Sheffield.

(Image: Facebook)

Now we won't spend much time or energy dwelling on the chronic use of 'banterrific'.

However, considering the fact that typing 'Sheffield comedians' into Google brings up nobodies from Radio programmes of years gone by - we can't help but wonder what this supposed survey is based on.

Cities have been ranked according to the average number of laughs per year - isn't that lovely?

People in Sheffield must have 'top bants' enjoying an average of 5,840 laughs per year.

The full list of top banter capitals is as follows:

Sheffield - 5,840 Bristol - 5,694 Leeds - 5,511 London - 5,183 Cardiff - 5,147 Liverpool - 5,037 Manchester - 4,964 Edinburgh - 4,928 Birmingham – 4,891 Brighton - 4,672

Don't even get us started on Edinburgh's position as having better chat than Glasgow - that really was the nail in the coffin for us.

Ronseal also found that eight in ten adults said the UK was the 'giggle headquarters of the world'.

(Image: BBC)

'Giggle headquarters of the world'? Away and chase yersel.

Although some of the results we do agree with.

'Ribbing friends, bad haircuts, choice of partner and fashion sense' (i.e giving your pal a good roasting) are said to be 'prime areas' for 'poking fun'.

But a Ronseal spokesperson ruined it by commenting: “Banter is a part of British culture and whether we are making fun of situations, our friends or our own predicaments no-one does it quite like we do.”

Aye - nae bother, Ronseal.

Stick to the wood preservation from now on.