Anyone wanting to know what our foreign policy is these days – or whether we have one at all – might look with dismay at the Foreign Office’s recently published annual report. Our former foreign secretary, William Hague (pictured), led with a list of all its achievements in the past year. Apparently, we have “helped secure Afghanistan’s future through the successful transition” of responsibility to a new Afghan government (which hasn’t even been elected yet). He paid special tribute to our successful pacifying of Helmand (which, we now learn, since our troops left, is being retaken by the Taliban). The report claims that we have worked to “accelerate political transition” in Syria (that’s going well); and to “resolve the crisis in Ukraine” by pressing Russia to “respect its sovereignty and territorial integrity” (also going well). We played a key role in negotiations to persuade Iran’s new president, Hassan Rouhani, not “to acquire a nuclear weapon” (which Rouhani laughs at behind his hand as meaningless); and “a vital role in securing agreement on the next steps towards” that world agreement next year to halt climate change (which isn’t going to happen because no one will agree to it except the EU and all those smaller nations hoping for handouts from the West).