That does no stop many gay men and lesbians wanting a religious marriage ceremony as an expression of commitment both to each other and to society at large. "Indian culture is founded on marriage and family values. Live-in relationships are not accepted. That’s why many gay people feel somehow left out and excluded from the mainstream by not marrying," says Shah. Urvi Shah, who launched the Gay Arranged Marriages services in Secunderabad, India, in 2015 after graduating in Development Studies. Credit:Amrit Dhillon Manvendra Singh Gohil was the first Indian member of a royal family to come out as gay in 2006. He is the heir of the Maharaja of Rajpipla in Gujarat. The prince echoes Shah’s view that, while gay marriage has no legal sanction, "the whole value system in India prizes marriage and family relationships and these values have been absorbed by gays too, for whom a ceremony is important as something binding".

Manvendra Singh Gohil, the first Indian member of a royal family to come out as gay. The arranged marriage service is not just another dating app or website. These are not conducive to meeting a life partner, Gohil says. "Among gays, many are into multiple-partner sex. These dating apps are fine for casual sex and one night stands but they do not work for someone who is looking for serious commitment and an emotional investment. That’s why Gay Arranged Marriages provides an important service." Since the bureau opened, 42 couples have got "married" and a further 48 are living together. Over 1500 people are registered with Shah, who not only matches couples but also helps them find a priest to perform the ceremony - not an easy task. The bureau also offers counselling to the horrified parents of young gay men and women who have just come out.

"It’s traumatic for everyone. I talk to parents and show them videos of parents who have accepted their gay child to make them realise they are not alone. In some cases there has been a reconciliation," says Shah. However, her counselling failed with Amar Kumar’s parents. Orthodox Brahmins who live in Bangalore, they disowned 37 year old Kumar, who runs a successful transport business in the city. The last time he saw his parents was 10 months ago. But despite the pain of this abandonment, he is a happy man these days, having found Jatin – "the love of my life" - and got married four months ago. "I know the marriage isn’t legally valid yet in India but who knows? The law may change one day. And until it does, the ceremony has bound us together for life," Kumar says. Maitree Basu in Calcutta struggled to make her mother accept her sexual orientation. It took a long time but it’s happened. Like many Indian mothers, her concern was that Basu should "settle down".

Basu tried dating sites but was put off by fake profiles. After registering with Gay Arranged Marriages, she has moved in with a woman she thinks is "the one". Those registered with her bureau praise Shah’s unstinting support, but even Shah's own family has been hostile to her. While her parents have grudgingly accepted her work, relatives have denounced her support for "unnatural activities", labelled her "rebellious," and openly wondered if Shah, who is heterosexual, might be a lesbian. "My parents main anxiety is whether I will find a husband who accepts me despite what I do," she says. She has received death threats over the phone. Other callers have threatened to throw acid on her. She won’t stop because she finds the work satisfying. Her most recent success was with a 30-something gay man who suffered from paralysis. Wheelchair-bound, he despaired of finding someone to love.

Last December, Shah happened to be in a jewellery shop in Bombay next to another customer who was there with her son, who was deaf. The pair got chatting. The mother told Shah that her deaf son was gay and she was desperate for him to find a partner so that he would not be alone when she died. Shah thought of one of her clients, who was in a wheelchair, and immediately put them in touch. They met and fell in love. "The day I saw them together, they made me feel like a goddess. They garlanded me and praised me for bringing so much happiness into their lives," she says. Gay activists tend to be divided on the issue of marriage with some supporting it and others criticizing the desire for an institution that belongs to a society that has rejected them. The former say that, in a odd kind of way, gay marriage might end up being more socially acceptable in conservative India (whenever homosexuality is legalised, of course) than in more liberal countries.