Good news for people who hate math. It's dead. We're killing it. Or at least the Seattle public schools are trying.

School district officials want to "rehumanize" math, because absolutes are emblematic of oppression. They're proposing a new social justice-infused curriculum that would focus on "power and oppression" in math.

Fine. I mean, does two plus two really equal four? Or does two plus two equal white privilege?

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By the way, that plus sign looks like a cross. That's a violation of the separation between church and state!

But who needs hard math to build bridges and roads, anyway? Those are nothing but scars on the beauty of nature. We can just feel our way around a river. Bring galoshes.

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I'm too old to care. Look what math has done to my body, one year at a time!

But I do rely on engineers who did actual math before this post-modern garbage reduced the hard sciences to room-temperature silly putty.

But if I had brats, I'd move the hell out of Seattle in favor of a place that rewards literacy and multiplication tables. Because if we start thinking that math is secondary to ideologies dictated by useless grad students who can’t read or write, the world stops working.

The wings on your plane may start flapping, and the tires on your car may start believing in a flat Earth. Engineers and mathematicians keep us moving.

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The wings on your plane may start flapping, and the tires on your car may start believing in a flat Earth. Engineers and mathematicians keep us moving.

Once the workplace becomes the "wokeplace," how will you get to your gender studies class?

Adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s monologue on “The Five” on October 22, 2019.

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