Who has time to watch a whole viral video anymore? Between Tweeting, drinking Mountain Dew, and doing backflips, our attention spans are shorter than ever. So UGO curated 50 of the best viral videos under a half minute long. Enjoy:

50. NASA High Five Denied



We’re launching people into space, dude. I don’t have time for a high five.

49. Dog Milks Goat

In olden times, everybody had to help out around the farm. Even if you were wearing your best clothes.

48. Giant Ape Flips Off Helicopter



After punching it into a cliff face, of course.

47. TV Faceplant



This wacky stunt didn’t work out quite as well as intended. Maybe they needed more grease.


46. Gym Accident



Setting this to “Let’s Get Physical” makes it, in my opinion.

45. World’s Second Hardest Skateboard Trick



I’d like to see you pull this off, buddy.

44. Barack Obama’s Two Dads



ABC’s Terry Moran maybe needs to take a refresher course on where babies come from.


43. Mountain Bike Stairs Fail

Give this guy props for having the guts to try something so stupid in the first place. (Editor’s note: The original version of this video was deleted, so this is a longer cut. If you want to get straight to the action, skip ahead to 1:05.)


42. Robocop – Bitches Leave

If you don’t have time to watch the whole greatest movie of all time, maybe seven seconds will do.


41. Tyson Fury Punches Himself In The Face



Glorious slow-motion multiple angle view of this guy owning himself in the ring.


40. Breakdance Cat



You have to wait your turn to bust a move, or else stuff like this happens.

39. Dramatic Prairie Dog



This little guy became quite the Internet sensation a few years ago. Then somebody ate him.


38. Special Forces Survival Shovel



Fifteen seconds of a dude with a mustache hitting a chunk of beef with a shovel.


37. The BBQ’r



This is a mistake just about anybody could make. Okay, maybe not anybody.

36. Boise State Cowbell Girl

More cowbell! And more feeling behind it!

35. Volkswagen T3 Crash Test



So don’t crash one of these. Or if you do, make sure you’re riding in the trunk, where it’s safe.


34. Eh Marine!

Six seconds of absolute perfection. Three words, one slap, and a goofy thumbs-up. The apotheosis of the viral video.


33. Fatty Bump Fires A Beretta



What he lacks in dodging power he makes up for in shots fired.

32. Colin’s Bear Animation



Boy, that art school tuition was money well spent. Big ups, Colin.

31. Drag Racing School Bus

If I could have ridden to school in one of these, I would have gone to school.

30. Pretty Much Everywhere, It’s Gonna Be Hot



This weatherman is probably the best dude to ever wave at pictures of clouds.

29. Girl Pukes On Plane



Gravity is perhaps Man’s (and woman’s) greatest enemy. Not for the weak of stomach.


28. Soccer Karma



It’s rare that the wheel of Karma turns so quickly. One bitchy move by a goalie = one scored goal in less than ten seconds.


27. Burger King Drunk Fail



A yob tries to smash out a Burger King window and gets a little taste of karma for his troubles. (Editor’s note: This video appears to have been deleted.)


26. Japanese Man Slo-Mo Car Hit

This guy thinks he’s getting away with something awesome, only to get brutally owned.


25. German Weightlifting Accident



Love the high-pitched “Mama!” when the sheez goes down.

24. How To Undress In Two Seconds

Japan: where they have everything down to a science.

23. Motorcycle Jump Goes Wrong



Okay, usually you make the motorcycle jump over something else. Bet you wish you were wearing a helmet on your nuts, smart guy.


22. Pogo Stick To The Face



This kid’s reaction is pretty great, and minus any of the profanities I would have used.


21. Don’t Piss Off The Horse

This little brat deserves what she gets. And once in slow motion for good measure. (Editor’s note: This video appears to have been deleted.)


20. Magic Show Volunteer



The geniuses at 5 Second Films are experts in the quick hit, and this one is one of their funniest gags.


19. News Anchor Vs. Giant Seagull

Amazingly enough, that wasn’t even the top story of the day.

18. Mustache On The People’s Court



The best People’s Court closing interview of all time.

17. Chuck Storm Reporting Blooper



He puts the “action” in Action News!

16. Roof Jump Miss

The sound this dude makes when he blows the jump is amazing. It’s like “Heygull!” and then he hits the ground. (Editor’s note: This video appears to have been deleted.)


15. Saran Wrap And Syrup



Like many great pranks, this one gets better with the addition of slow motion.

14. Wal-Mart Moonwalk



This almost makes going to Wal-Mart seem fun. Almost.

13. 64098

Sometimes the fat kid just ain’t hungry indeed. (Editor’s note: This video appears to have been deleted.)


12. Go, Dog, Go



They say you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. They lied.

11. Banana Man



I would let this guy sell me bananas any day of the week and twice on Sundays.

10. Tabasco In The Eye



Some poor chump drips Tabasco sauce into his eye. I don’t think I could handle it if this video was any longer than 19 seconds.


9. Tech Watch Puke

What happens when you take the 360 and add the DSP? Projectile vomiting, apparently. (Editor’s note: This video appears to have been deleted.)


8. The Ultimate Bitchslap



You haven’t been truly bitchslapped until you’ve been bitchslapped by a guy in a cowboy hat and tighty whiteys.


7. Raptors Mascot Eats It

Bad things happening to mascots is always funny.

6. Backyard Wrestler Entrance Fail

You know you’re hardcore when you start taking bumps before the match even starts. (Editor’s note: This video appears to have been deleted.)


5. Zombie Fish Punch



What do you do with a zombie fish? Punch it in the mush, of course.

4. Tyra Banks - Kiss My Fat Ass



Can you sum up Tyra Banks in five seconds? Heck yeah you can.

3. Van Stoppie



Forget every negative thing I’ve ever said about soccer moms and minivans. This owns.


2. Vending Machine Backflip



Let’s do one more parkour fail for the road, shall we? Nice visor, holmes.

1. Garbage Day!



And to close, a little piece of magic from Silent Night, Deadly Night. Garbage day indeed.


Update, 3:30 p.m., May 5, 2020: This post has been updated to remove several video embeds that no longer work. Where replacements were available, they have been inserted instead.


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