If a decade ago anyone had told you that the leader of the Scottish Conservatives was the bookies’ favourite to be the next first minister of Scotland, you’d have given them a funny look. If they’d then told you that this same person had announced, to widespread jubilation from the Tory party, that she was having a baby with her lesbian partner through IVF, you’d be forgiven for laughing in their face.

But this is the new normal thanks to Ruth Davidson. The Scottish Conservative leader’s announcement yesterday that she is expecting her first child was notable not for its controversy, but the lack of it. The news was welcomed by all and sundry in the Conservative ranks. This is a far cry from the Tory party that under Margaret Thatcher introduced section 28 banning councils from “intentionally” promoting homosexuality – and under Iain Duncan Smith tried to force its MPs to vote against proposals allowing gay and unmarried couples to adopt.

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The current leader doesn’t have a spotless record either when it comes to supporting gay rights. While Theresa May is commended by her colleagues for her work as home secretary, passing the same-sex marriage act in 2013, her voting record over the years has included opposing reducing the age of consent for gay people, the repeal of section 28, and civil partnership. Even Nicky Morgan – the former education minister who is nowadays widely regarded as a liberal light in a provincial party – is not unscathed in all this: she voted against gay marriage.

However, just as both May and Morgan have since personally apologised for their voting record on these issues, the Conservative party as a whole has had to rethink its approach to gay rights. Beginning with Michael Howard and spearheaded by David Cameron, the Tories have been on a journey of discovery over the past two decades.

The sea-change is down to several factors. First, in the 80s there were three main schools of thought when it came to opposition to gay rights. There was the most obvious form of bigotry; there were those who opposed it on religious grounds; and then there was a so-called intellectual argument that saw gay culture as something disorderly and hedonistic, which should not be encouraged. For many traditional Tories the lifestyle they associated with homosexuality was incompatible with a life based on family values and monogamy.

Cameron understood these concerns when he pitched same-sex marriage to his colleagues in a speech at party conference in 2011. The Tory moderniser didn’t use his speech just to talk about equality – instead he gave as much if not more focus to the word “commitment”. He said it shouldn’t matter whether this commitment was “between a man and a woman, a woman and a woman, or a man and another man … And to anyone who has reservations, I say: yes, it’s about equality, but it’s also about something else: commitment. Conservatives believe in the ties that bind us; that society is stronger when we make vows to each other and support each other. So I don’t support gay marriage despite being a Conservative. I support gay marriage because I’m a Conservative.”

Play Video 0:46 'We're really, really happy': Ruth Davidson announces pregnancy – video

A natural salesman, he also gave them an offer – he would recognise marriage in the tax system so long as gay people could get married too. As the record shows, this pitch worked. But the Conservative membership base is still behind the country at large when it comes to social attitudes. Earlier this year research at Queen Mary University of London found that almost six in 10 Tory members are still not supportive of marriage equality, despite the move being introduced by a Conservative prime minister.

This is where Ruth Davidson’s appeal comes in. For all the work of Tory modernisers over the years, a large chunk of the credit must go to Davidson herself for managing to challenge prejudices simply by being herself. As a politician, Davidson’s great political strength is that she has authentically been many different things at the same time: a BBC hack who also spent time in the territorial army, a lesbian who is a member of the Church of Scotland and now a mother-to-be.

Yet despite the party membership’s socially conservative values, Davidson remains one of the grassroots’ favourite politicians – one that many would like to see in No 10 one day. A ConservativeHome poll of party members after the snap election found that Ruth Davidson had the highest satisfaction rating among party members of any senior Conservative figure. What’s more, Davidson’s decision to have a family – seen as a sign of stability and commitment – will most likely further endear her to Tory members.

People are often scared of the unknown. Ruth Davidson’s personality, politics and natural ability have given even the most socially conservative Conservatives reason to think twice about views they have held for years.

• Katy Balls is the Spectator’s political correspondent