Where to start...

Well, the good news is there's an outside chance that Thurman McGriff didn't actually get a blowjob from a puppy. However, according to police, at the very least, he whipped out his penis in public and simulated oral sex, using the pooch's mouth as the (ahem) pleasure center, in front of a 9-year-old boy.

According to court records obtained by New Times, police were called to the 1100 block of West Pima Street in Phoenix about 4:15 Saturday afternoon in response to a report that a man was exposing himself in public.

When police arrived, they found two witnesses -- an adult and a 9-year-old boy -- each of whom told police they saw the suspect (later identified as McGriff) exposing himself while holding a black and brown puppy.

At one point, the witnesses told police, McGriff "was using, or acting like he was using, his new puppy's mouth to pleasure himself."

Apparently, McGriff wanted a little privacy -- when he noticed the 9-year-old was looking at him, McGriff yelled to the boy "[I'm going to] do this to you" if the kid didn't stop staring at him.

In all, McGriff was booked on one count each of indecent exposure, bestiality, and sexual indecency with an animal.