These are LovePalz (yes, with a Z), a pair of smartphone-enabled virtual sex devices to use with that special someone. Here's how it works: the guy sticks his wing-ding in the tube (right) and it sends signals to the in-and-out action dildo (left) that the lady has pressed against her zing-zang, replicating the same speed that dude is using the tube to masturbate with. Which, more than likely, will be supersonic. How romantic.

The speed sensor in Zeus will detect the speed of male action and send to the Hera, the female toy. Hera will reflect and match Zeus's speed automatically. Hera on her part, will sense the pressure inside the toy based on the female's reaction and then send that information to Zeus. Zeus's air pump will configure its tightness automatically based on the received signal.

You can preorder a pair of the toys now for $95, or $50 apiece in case you want to go Dutch with your lover. Wow, going Dutch on a pair of sex toys -- I don't know if I've ever written a sadder sentence. Now, are you thinking what I'm thinking? "This is how robot babies are made?" That's probably true, but no. I was gonna say if you stick the female piece up your keister and then go to town on the tube, it would be like banging yourself. "I'd do me." ...Congratulations?

Hit the jump for a video explanation.

Thanks to PYY, who agrees there should be no distance great enough to keep two lovers' privates away from each other. It just isn't right!