Race 3 is a beautiful film. It does not take anyone's expectations into consideration. It delivers way, way more than it promises. Is that a good thing? The answer is both yes, and no.

Yes, because Race 3 is a film that Salman Khan's hardcore fans will watch on loop, for years to come. It will be worshipped in Salman Khan's own chain of theatres for decades as the perfect Bhai film. Race 3 has set standards that all Salman films put together haven't been able to yet.

Make no mistake. Salman is in top form in Race 3. Director Remo D'Souza pays his ode to Salman's muscles in 3D and Khan's abs slap you hard in the face. Salman does the thinking, the fighting, the talking, the gallivanting and the merry-making in this motley group of players. So much so, that even though there are *several* others in the film, Race 3 does not let your attention veer from Bhai for one moment. Even in the frames that Salman is not present in, Race 3 talks only about Salman Khan. "I'm sick of this Siku, dad," is a refrain many people might echo.

Salman takes the cake and eats it in Race 3. And promises a Race 4 at the end of this Race in just as many words. For Salmaniacs, what can be better than three hours of Bhairoxxx?

So what is bad about Race 3? Nothing. Everything is so glittery, so loud and so dumb that you just let Khan launch those bazookas on your senses and give in to Race 3. Ab toh tabaahi hai? You bet.

Salman Khan's muscles deliver their career-best performance in Race 3. Bobby Deol takes off his shirt and tries to match steps with Salman. Saqib Saleem flaunts his six-packs in one scene but is not allowed to take off clothes in the rest of the film lest your attention sway from Salman.

Jacqueline Fernandez and Daisy Shah are pretty props in this race. They fight each other with both fists and heads. You fight the urge to leave the theatre.

Anil Kapoor plays Shamsher Singh who owns an island and an arms empire somewhere in the Gulf. He is given an adversary in Freddy Daruwala who plays Rana but has nothing at all to do in the near-three-hour Race 3. Poor Freddy. We have seen better from the chap. But in a Salman Khan film, there's only as much you can do. The rest, Bhai does.

Saqib Saleem and Daisy Shah play the evil twins who are at loggerheads with Siku (Sikandar, Salman) but don't have the guts to say it out loud. So they host parties and over glasses of the most expensive champagne in the world, mouth lyrics that go, "Kuch lamho mein duniya se hogi teri rihaai..." Midway through Race 3, you will never want to use the word "Bro" in your life. But that is director Remo D'Souza's sole way of making these 25-year-olds 'kewl' and 'hip'. Doesn't happen that way, bro.

Race 3 jumps at you in every scene. There is nothing that is subtle in this film. But why bother with subtlety in a Salman film. Even the notorious Salman Khan, who has given us films like Bajrangi Bhaijaan - even last year's Tiger Zinda Hai - has done better for himself. In Race 3, he is Remo D'Souza's man. Or the other way round maybe.

What is the story of Race 3? There is none.

Enough has been written about the lyrics of Race 3. Just FYI types, the film credits 10 - TEN - people with writing lyrics like "Weekend ki party-aan ho rahi hai / Ek main aur ek tu saath mein hai / Aur haath mein hai tattoo." Or "Aapne itna kia / Sirf aap haqdaar ho baby selfish hone ke liye." To borrow Ross Geller's words, "Is there blood coming out of my ears?"

But all said and done, Race 3 is a fantastic film. There are full-fledged military wars in Cambodia because nothing less than a war can do justice to Salman's calibre. There is Salman Khan flying over Al Shifah because helicopters are so passe. There is Bhai launching bazookas because why undermine him with lesser weapons like AK-47. There are five extra actors in the film to support Salman because he needs to outshine all of them. Nothing is measured in Race 3. You ask for a shot of Salman, you're given a gallon of him. Deal with it however you want.

The best part about Race 3 is that there is so much happening in it all the time that the film does not leave you wondering about the biggest issue with it: logic.

This weekend, don't bother about what reviews say. Go get your tickets for Race 3. Get them in 3D. Because when it is Salman Khan, make it large.

As for the non-Salmaniacs, you will survive. Like Salman says, "Jaako rakhe saiyyan, maar sake na koi."

(The writer tweets as @ananya116)

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