"You are, like, this close to getting voted off the island."

-Jen Danzing













Halloween: Resurrection begins with Michael Myers (Brad Loree) finally managing to track down and kill his sister, Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis). His mission complete, Michael returns to the house he grew up in only to find it being used in a reality web series produced by Freddie Harris (Busta Rhymes). Michael begins to stalk and kill the cast and crew and his rampage is broadcast across the web for all the world to see.









What Works:





There is one line in this movie that is utter gold and it is said by Busta Rhymes after he kicks down a door to fight Michael, "Trick or treat, motherf***er!" This line and a few of the reactions of the people watching the show online are literally the only redeeming qualities of this movie.









What Sucks:





H20 gave us the perfect ending to the series. Halloween: Resurrection just had to come along and ruin it by revealing that the person Laure decapitated at the end of H20 was an innocent paramedic that Michael had switched clothed with and crushed his throat so he couldn't call for help. It's incredibly stupid and unbelievable and ruins one of the best endings of a horror movie.





To make matters worse, Michael Myers kills off Laurie Strode in the opening sequence of this movie. At least Jamie Lee Curtis didn't have to stick around for the rest of this train-wreck, but you don't kill off your O. G. final girl like that. It's disrespectful, especially when the whole sequence just comes off as stupid and forced.





The movie gets even worse when we are introduced to main characters of the film, none of whom are interesting, with the exception of Busta Rhymes, who is trying, but come on, kung-fu fighting Michael Myers. No one wants that. He may not be boring, but Rhymes definitely helps drag this movie down into stupidity.





Our main protagonist, Sara (Bianca Kajlich), is a very boring character with some incredibly cringey dialogue. Her acting as she's shouting revenge dialogue at Michael in their final battle is probably the worst acting in the entire series. I physically cringe whenever I watch it, it's that bad.





The subplot involving a group of high school students watching the show online didn't really add anything to the movie, apart from a handful of amusing reactions. It feels pretty forced, like the producers were trying to be hip and with it. There really isn't any significant resolution to those characters and their involvement in the main plot wasn't interesting at all.









Verdict:





If you couldn't tell, I hate Halloween: Resurrection. It's in my bottom 10 movies of all time and I will go ahead and declare this the least necessary sequel ever made. Apart from one solid line and an amusing reaction or two, this movie has no redeeming qualities. It ruins the excellent ending from the previous film, is insulting to Laurie Strode, had stupid and boring characters, horrible acting, and pointless subplots. I despise this movie on every level and I wish I could erase it from existence.





1/10: Horrendous



