The Bottom 10 Inspirational Thought of the Week:

A serious writer is not to be confounded with a solemn writer.

A serious writer may be a hawk or a buzzard or even a popinjay,

But a solemn writer is always a bloody owl.

-- Ernest Hemingway

Here at Bottom 10 headquarters, located at the back of the line at your local voting precinct, we are willing to admit that we haven't slept in several days. Our eyes are opened as widely as possible, dominating our facial features like a permanent case of surprise. You know, like an owl.

During the 3:30 p.m. ET games, when the rest of the nation was locked in on Florida-Arkansas or the end of Mississippi State-Texas A&M, our optical nerves were transfixed on ESPN3, on Rice Stadium, where the FAU Owls flew into the aviary of the Rice Owls. I was in Baton Rouge to cover Alabama-LSU but nearly missed that game's kickoff because my mind was elsewhere. I was staring at the Pillow Fight of the Century.

Later, around 1:00 a.m., I left Death Valley and stumbled into the darkness. As I walked to my rental car I was scrolling through my phone, examining the box score from Houston and muttered aloud to no one, "I can't believe FAU won." Suddenly, I heard a rustling in the dark branches of the moss-draped trees up above. Someone had heard my query. A Strigiformes voice called down to me with a response.

"WHO?"

With apologies to Captain Tony and Steve Harvey, here's this week's Bottom 10.

Losing the Pillow Fight of the Century is bad. Losing the PFOC while surrendering multiple offensive records to the previously top bottom-ranked team is worse. But losing the next two weekends, to former Bottom 10 member Charlotte and frequent Bottom 10 waiting list visitor UTEP would be ... um ... worser? Worserest? More worserest? Covered in worst-eshire sauce? Actually, never mind. Nothing can be considered the worst of anything if it's covered in Worcestershire sauce.

The Falcons have emerged, wait I'm sorry, submerged from the gauntlet that was the monthlong MACtion round robin bunkhouse stampede battle royal of one-win teams. Over the next two Tuesday nights they will face Akron and Bottom 10 flirt State of Kent, games that are merely the salad that comes before the Thanksgiving feast that will be Buffalo's visit to Bowling Green on Nov. 25.

For those of you who have been complaining to our Bottom 10 selection committee that there has been too much a of a Conference USA bias this season, we'd like to point out that the top bottom-three teams are now scattered across three conferences. We'd also like to point out that the letters you've been sending us smell like malt liquor and stale Lucky Charms.

No, a win over the other Owls does not allow these Owls to fly out of the Bottom 10. But should they defeat the UTEP Miners next week, they could soar up and away to escape, like a canary leaving a coal mine.

Last week in the ESPNU newsroom we were watching the Chicago Cubs victory parade and wondering who are the Cubs of college football? What's the program with the most fervent fans despite having not won a national title in decades? The Aggies were the most mentioned team. When the surprise top four College Football Playoff team lost to Mississippi State it reminded of what my mother said after we got our first VHS player and my little brother immediately crammed a grilled cheese sandwich into it, "This is why you can't have nice things!"

Now that the Owl Bowl is in the books, our focus shifts to Pillow Fight of the Century 2: Electric Boogaloo. This Saturday at high noon Kansas welcomes in ...

... these guys. And if a line of Cyclones are blowing into Kansas looking to create havoc, then there's only one title you can rightfully give this game -- the Auntie Em Bowl.

I've just been corrected concerning my earlier comment about FAU by someone identifying himself as a Marshall alum. "That doesn't work because the canary never gets out of the coal mine because he dies," the West Virginia native told me via telephone. Then I asked if it'd be that hard for a canary or an owl to rescue itself from a deep, dark, endless subterranean hole, how difficult would it be for something as big as Marco the Buffalo? The man hung up on me. The caller ID said "R. Moss."

After a rough outing at Troy, the Minutemen will face the Fightin' Byes of Open Date U. Then they will close out the season with visits to BYU and Hawaii. Those trips west from Amherst likely won't do much to improve their Bottom 10 status, but they will absolutely improve their Chairman Preferred status.

OK, show of hands, when the season started, who could have possibly predicted that a Week 11 matchup between Rutgers and Michigan State would receive serious consideration to be named a Pillow Fight of the Week? OK, sir, you in the back with the khakis and no shirt on, please put your hand down.

Waiting list: Buffalo Bulls not Bills (2-7), Mizz-ewww (2-7), Michigone State (2-7), Oregone State (2-7), Georgia State Not Southern (2-7), Texas State Armadillos (2-6), New Mexico State (2-6), announcing you're going to protest and then protesting but then kinda trying to act like it wasn't really a protest.