Ten things we learned from Marshall Henderson's incredible comments

Marshall Henderson didn't disappoint when he spoke with reporters at the NCAA tournament. The animated Ole Miss star held court in Kansas City on Thursday, dishing about his antics, the haters and his ultimate goal for March. Though his comments from the locker room didn't contain any overt digs to SEC coaches or Gator chomps, it was still a tour de force befitting the new king of the big dance.

1. He likes to enter in style.

"What up, y'all?"

That's how Henderson greeted the assembled reporters. Coincidentally, that was Charles Dickens' second choice for how to begin A Tale of Two Cities.

2. He's a Duke fan.

"I've been a Duke fan since my dad ever told me anything about basketball. It was all about Duke, Duke, Duke. I love the way they play."

Can you imagine how amazing it would have been for Marshall Henderson to play for Duke? Seriously, I'm asking, because my brain just short circuited while trying to comprehend that scenario. He'd have been so hated, he'd have made Christian Laettner seem like Mr. Rogers.

3. He's not a math fan.

Henderson was asked whether his antics are calculated.

"I guess. I don't know. I'm not real good at math.… Other than two, plus three. I know that one well."

4. He knows college basketball stats, sort of.

"I know [Wisconsin has] got, like, the 10th-best defense or something. But we also know that Florida and Alabama have better defenses than them. I don't know.

In scoring defense, Florida ranks third in the NCAA, Wisconsin is 10th and Alabama is 22nd. In Henderson's defense, he's not "real good at math."

5. He doesn't read what's written about him, unless his friends make him.

"Sometimes, my friends make me read it. They're like, 'Dude, look at this!' … I don't know. It's pretty funny. If anything, it's just funny. Me and a couple of my friends, two of my really good friends, Meghan and Mary Margaret, I always go over to their apartment because that's where I can just over there and just not have to worry about anything. But they're even pulling stuff up."

I don't know what's so amusing about Marshall dropping the names of Meghan and Mary Margaret, but it is. It totally, totally is. I wonder if they have other friends named Matt, Mike, Melinda and Melanie?

6. He has embraced the role of the villain.

"I guess so. I don't really have a choice, do I?"

The transcript doesn't say whether Henderson smiled like the Cheshire Cat after delivering that line, but I'd like to think he did.

7. The Gator Chomp was "out of fun."

"I was just clapping … really wide."

The transcript doesn't say whether Henderson smiled like the Cheshire Cat after delivering this line either, but I'm still going to assume he did.

8. If I gave you five guesses to name Henderson's favorite NBA players, you'd only need to use two.

"[AAU basketball] got me into head bobbing and trash-talking kind of stuff. And my favorite players in the NBA all do that stuff, like J.R. Smith. People like that. JaVale McGee. I love those kinds of players. They can put a crowd in the arena, sell some tickets. … That's what it's about."

If you Google "NBA knucklehead," three of the first four results feature JaVale McGee. It's sort of amazing he didn't choose Andray Blatche too. Since he likes the NBA guys with swag, he probably liked cocky college players too, like J.J. Redick, for example.

9. He also likes J.J. Redick.

"He was a pretty good player. I've got the most respect for him because he went to the league and kind of changed his game a little bit from what he was."

10. Winning isn't the only thing on his mind this March.

"I'm trying to get paid here soon because I'm tired of doing all this stuff for free. And this is where you make your money, the NCAA tournament."

Go get yours, Marshall Henderson. But please hire an accountant if, and when, you get paid.