Gay marriage splits Ohio religious community

James Pilcher | The Cincinnati Enquirer

CINCINNATI — Amber Feldman and Elisa Abes, a Jewish lesbian couple who live in Pleasant Ridge, Ohio, are praying that the U.S. Supreme Court overturns the ban on same-sex marriage in Ohio and Kentucky, among other states.

That way, they can get married by their own rabbi in front of their own congregation at their own synagogue with their children participating. That way, they can take in both the civil and the religious aspects of marriage at once.

"Our Judaism is very important to us, and is central to us and to our way of life," said Abes. "To be able to marry in our synagogue would be so important as well, and would give us the chance to show how grateful we are to everyone for being so welcoming."

Across the river, Fr. Nick Rottman has been leading the congregants of Immaculate Heart of Mary Roman Catholic Church in Burlington, Ky., in a prayer for religious liberty so "the Supreme Court makes the right decision" and upholds such bans.

"The U.S. Conference of Bishops created that prayer during the whole debate over the (Health and Human Services) mandate over birth control, and I thought it was appropriate in this situation," said Rottman. "I know this sounds outrageous, but we fear the day when we are sued for not performing a marriage ceremony based on religious or moral grounds — which has happened in England."

Such is the divide in the area's religious community over gay marriage, a topic that has split congregations locally and even nationally. Some major church leaders locally won't even comment on it publicly, while others have come out both strongly against and for legalizing same-sex marriage and for allowing religious marriage ceremonies.

Yet as religious leaders struggle over how to deal with the issue, those identifying with certain religions appear to be more accepting of the concept, according to one recent survey. On Wednesday, the Public Religion Research Institute released a poll that found that 54% of Americans were in favor or strongly in favor of same-sex marriage. But that poll also found that 61% of white Catholics and 62% of white mainline Protestants favored or strongly favored legalizing gay marriage.

That is up from 35% for Catholics and 36% for Protestants just 10 years ago, a major shift that should worry church leaders, institute officials say.

"Not only that, but 1 in 3 Millennials don't identify with any religion anymore, and those are the young people that churches and religious groups are going to need to keep going," said Dan Cox, research director for the Washington-based nonpartisan non-profit research group. "And our polling shows that this gay marriage issue is a big one in that trend. Younger people may get conservative as they get older, but not on this issue."

Thorny issue for congregations

The Enquirer reached out to several major congregations about the issue of legalizing same-sex marriage, and responses ranged from full acceptance to complete opposition to the concept to a complete avoidance of the issue.

For example, officials with Crossroads Church, one of the region's largest non-denominational Christian congregations with five locations in Greater Cincinnati and Northern Kentucky and more than 6,000 members, declined comment.

Also declining to speak on the topic: the leader of one of the largest Jewish Orthodox congregations and Cincinnati Archdiocese Archbishop Dennis M. Schnurr.

But archdiocesan officials pointed to an editorial previously published by Schnurr that said it was "neither necessary or good public policy" for the U.S. Supreme Court to strike down Ohio's anti-gay marriage constitutional amendment.

"Traditional marriage, the union of one man and one woman for life, is the cradle of the family, which is the basic building block of society." Schnurr wrote in The Enquirer two years ago after the U.S. Supreme Court struck down provisions of the Defense of Marriage Act. "As a society, we should be working to improve the chances that children are raised by both parents, together. That is not unjust discrimination against homosexuals.

"The (Catholic) Church also teaches that marriage is between two individuals, one male and one female. She is not trying to enshrine a particular theology of marriage into secular law, however. Rather, the Church seeks to uphold the understanding of marriage that has been shared for thousands of years by diverse cultures until just recently," Schnurr wrote.

Meanwhile, Rev. Erwin McIntosh, Jr. says he has mentioned his anti-gay marriage stance a few times from his pulpit at Payne Chapel AME (African Methodist Episcopal). But it hasn't been the topic of much conversation among the Hamilton congregation of about 110.

"Not to paint the brush too broadly, but African-Americans tend to be more liberal politically, but very conservative religiously ... There are still those within the AME church, as a whole, who feel that we should not have female preachers," said McIntosh. "That makes this one a tough one to talk about. The congregation knows where I stand, but I have also made it clear that I will not discriminate against gay people and, in fact, would not refrain from hiring someone who is gay if they were the best qualified."

Rabbi Irwin M. Wise of Adath Israel Congregation in Amberley Village stands in contrast, saying he looks forward to the day when he can marry couples such as Feldman and Abes. Under the conservative movement, Wise is given the ability to decide for his congregation, and he has made it clear that he will perform marriages if the law is changed, as the synagogue already welcomes gays and gay couples.

"Judaism has come a long way from the days when we wouldn't let people even drive to synagogue on the Sabbath," Wise said. "And one phenomenon that I've seen is that older congregants are increasingly coming up and saying they have a gay child or niece or nephew. For us, this is a religious issue ... it is a matter of doing what is right."

That also holds true for Rev. Dr. Dan Weyand-Geise, pastor of the First United Church of Christ in College Hill, who said he recently met with a couple who was changing congregations so they could eventually get married in a church.

"The UCC is one of the first churches to have a gay pastor and accept gay marriage, but yet this is Cincinnati," Weyand-Giese said. "That couple also went to a UCC church elsewhere in the city but were told that the church council probably wouldn't approve a marriage. That shows the divide."

Those against worry about perception

One message came through consistently from those religious leaders who are against same-sex marriage: the fear of being labeled bigoted, insensitive or not teaching the true tenets of their religion.

"It's a tough, tough thing to talk about, because you can hardly say anything without being criticized or presented as not being Christian, when that is all you are trying to be," said Rev. Dr. David Palmer, senior pastor at Kenwood Baptist Church in Sycamore Township. He says he is against gay marriage, as is most of his congregation of about 600.

"Christians are bound in history and conscience to sacred texts which form their identity and understanding of social issues. For us, it is important to keep to the teaching of Scripture, which calls all people, not just one group, to obedience of faith and personal transformation. This means learning how to relate to the gay community because, more and more today, everyone knows someone who is gay," Palmer said.

Palmer said he was asked when applying for his current position whether someone who was gay could attend the church.

"My answer was 'I certainly hope so,'" Palmer said.

Fr. Rottmann of IHM in Burlington, which has more than 2,000 households and is the largest parish in the Covington Diocese, echoed those sentiments. He said the church doesn't view homosexual extramarital sex as any more of a sin than heterosexual extramarital activity.

"This issue has indeed drawn a battle line between those who consider themselves religious and those who consider themselves secular ... but part of that is that it only highlights certain teachings of those religions and not the entire context," Rottmann said. "I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

"Society at large is almost completely at odds with what Christians see as morally correct. So how do you spread the Gospel and take care of your own people who feel scandalized because of what they believe?"

What does your religion say?

Here is a look at the stance of each major religion toward same-sex marriage:

Roman Catholic: Against

Southern Baptist: Against

Lutheran: Against, although there is a branch that recognizes same-sex partnerships

Hinduism: No official position

Islam: Against

Episcopal: Allows blessing of same-sex unions, but not marriage

Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormonism): Against

African Methodist Episcopalian: Generally against

Anglican: Split, although the Church of England recognizes that same-sex partnerships are acceptable

Methodist: Split. The United Methodist Church prohibits gay marriage, but some Methodist churches have split off over the issue

Presbyterian: Against, but ministers can bless same-sex unions

United Church of Christ: Generally in favor, but left up to local church congregations

Judaism: Split. The reform and conservative movements are generally in favor of same-sex marriage, while the more traditional orthodox movement is against

Source: The Pew Research Center on Religion and Public Life; Enquirer research