LOUISVILLE, KY—Wondering if the woman had any idea how normal interactions like this are supposed to work, employees at Humana Insurance were becoming annoyed Wednesday with a customer who did not seem to realize that offers to pay for healthcare were just supposed to be a polite gesture. “Offering to cover 80% of surgery cost is just something you kind of say to make people feel better, nobody is actually supposed to follow through on that offer,” said case manager Raymond Carberry, who expressed frustration when a customer stepped completely outside the bounds of a normal, courteous interaction with her submission of a claim form for a broken arm. “Every non-crazy person knows how this works, they’re just supposed to pay us a premium and then move on. What kind of weirdo actually asks for money? It’s deranged. She even wants us to pay for her ambulance ride, that’s just something you throw on a contract because it’s expected, it doesn’t actually mean anything.” At press time, a relieved Carberry had noticed that the customer misspelled the name of the hospital and denied the claim in full.

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