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As with every other aspiring trophy wife, it didn’t start this way. I had dreams. I had goals. I had an overly optimistic major that didn’t coincide with my lifestyle of drinking all night, skipping class, and not being able to pass Biology 101. My original plans were to get a really impressive piece of paper declaring that I had won at life, marry for love, and allow my parents to go to sleep at night with a sense of pride and contentment for having succeeded in the role at “life adviser.”

Unfortunately, due to a lack of motivation and tolerance for tequila, I graduated from a mediocre university with a mediocre at best degree, which led me to accept my new life goal of being a Stepford wife. From my vast research and observations, I am happy to present a step-by-step trophy wife guide for attractive (and not to mention, modest) ladies, because really, that’s our best bet for the future.