CALL THE PLEASE (Excerpt)

poem and drawing by Shel Silverstein

The Police Department

Changed their garments

And became the Please Department

And instead of clubs and cuffs,

Saying Please was quite enough.

“Please stop breaking down that door.”

“Please stop robbing that jewelry store.”

“Please stop stealing that motor scooter.”

“Please stop shooting off that gun.”

“Please stop forging checks for fun.”

“Please stop ripping off those tires.”

“Please stop setting things on fire.”

And if they needed more persuasion,

They took ’em down to the Please Station

Where the friendly Chief of Please

Said Please, Please, Please

On bended knees.

And they stopped all crime with ease

By politely saying “Please.”

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Editor’s Note: Then again, some people just don’t understand the word “please.”