







Recently, I started reading '

From My Sister's Lips

' by

Na'ima B. Robert

which a really lovely Italian lady lent to me. It sparked some ideas which I thought I'd share.

In the first

few chapters the protagonist speaks about her modest attire ending '

' which put an '

.'

This got me thinking about how my daily life in Italy has changed since my Erasmus days in Italy.





At that time I remember assessing my attractiveness each day by a tally of the number of '

C

iao Bella

's' I received when I walked in the street. It wasn't that I was parading myself or strutting but it's a normal occurrence for a woman to receive such remarks in Italy. Particularly if you're quite clearly foreign (pale skin and shorts in Spring are a dead giveaway!) Even if you'd just woken up and were scrambling to get to a lecture with scruffy hair and bags under the eyes, you'd still get at least one 'ciao bella' from an Italian man. It was a handy pick-me-up on bad hair days.





On the other hand, I've received a grand total of one 'ciao bella!' in the last year! and that particular one was from a newspaper vendor who got a bit flustered by my presence and went into panic mode! This really shocked me at first and I thought urgh! It's clearly a sign that I must look so bad that not even a stereotypically sleazy man says ciao bella to me anymore! My self-confidence took quite a hit I have to admit.

Much like turning on your Twitter after a day away from the computer only to find no one has mentioned you! Sad times indeed.





But after a while, and as my confidence increased, I realized that this wasn't a bad thing. Not being verbally harassed in the street or on the train is actually a positive thing.

It removed the stress of relying on male approval to feel good about myself and in the end it's given me a greater sense of self respect because I'm treated respectfully by everyone I meet in my daily life, both at work and in the city. I

still get some stares (see previous post:

11 Basic Facial Expressions

) but usually from Muslim men who are so distracted by a hijabi in Italy that they stop their conversation just to stare in wide-eyed surprise.





★ ★ ★



