With enough effort, one can make any topic sound dirty, and on today’s list: food!

My friends and I were having Japanese BBQ (thanks, Olive, for organizing!), and the server asked, “May I oil your grill?”

There was an unmistaken pause as we held back our Beavis & Butthead giggles. We eventually said yes, and as he walked away, Roulette and I gave each other one final look before bursting into laughter. Yes, we are acting our age, thankyouverymuch!

Because I’m not a night owl, I figured I would spend it for your amusement. Enjoy!

May I oil your grill? Would you like your muffin buttered? How about some hot fudge on your sundae? Breasts are nice, but I’m more of a thigh man myself. Fish sticks. Are my balls too salty? Want to be fork buddies? You can either spit or swallow. It’s so warm going down. It’s hard on the outside, but has a gooey center. Will you help him toss his salad? Help me frost my cake. Shuck me, suck me, eat me raw. I love sausage. Two tea bags is better than one. Finger food. And as an ode to George Lopez: “Lick it and pass it.”

If you don’t know the reference, here’s the audio to the bit in his “Why You Cryin’?” stand-up.

Links to photo credits AND recipes. You’re welcome.