Every Argument About Star Wars Since 2015

We Need to Talk About Kylo Kylo Ren never did a thing wrong in his life Kylo Ren is a poster boy for the alt-right Kylo’s narrative is about abuse Kylo’s narrative is about how society offers constant concessions for straight white men Kylo Ren is going to be redeemed I will murder my own cat if Kylo Ren gets redeemed His name is Ben Solo and you will use it Why are you calling him Ben Solo like it’s a pet name Adam Driver is beautiful Adam Driver is like one of the gargoyles from the Hunchback of Notre Dame Han and Leia were bad parents Han and Leia were amazing parents. Did you ever consider that Ben Solo had bad vibes? Or was simply unpleasant to be around? Kylo overreacted to his uncle trying to murder him Kylo’s choices were his own and he joined the space fascists so fuck you I hate the mask Kylo Ren is Aldi brand Darth Vader Kylo Ren was made for fanboys Kylo Ren was made for fangirls The crossguard lightsaber is stupid Kylo Ren is the villain and you can’t like the villain Have you watched Star Wars? Kylo killed Han Solo so he can’t be redeemed Well Vader killed Obi Wan and he was redeemed Yeah but I was emotionally attached to Han Solo so fuck you Adam Driver is 6′3′ Ship Wars Poe and Finn belong together Finn and Rose belong together Finn and the new girl belong together Finn and Rey belong together Rey is a lesbian Poe is gay Rose hitting Finn over the head was abuse Kylo and Hux are in love Keri Russell’s character was shoehorned in to stop Poe and Finn’s love story Trio, Trio, Trio Rey/Finn/Kylo is the true sequel trio Rey/Finn/Poe is the true sequel trio Poe was meant to be killed off Kylo/Hux/Phasma is the true sequel trio Just… Reylo Reylo is abusive Reylo can’t be abusive because they’re not in an established relationship Kylo violated Rey’s mind in the interrogation scene Rey violated Kylo’s mind right back Lucasfilm isn’t brave enough to do Reylo Lucasfilm isn’t stupid enough to do Reylo Reylo are brother and sister Reylo are cousins Reylo is twilight fanfiction Reylo is phantom of the opera fanfiction Rian Johnson has a Reylo Agenda Women who like Reylo are endorsing violent toxic relationships Women who like Reylo were right all along Reylo is the best Star Wars love story I’ll end a friendship over Reylo DNRey Rey is a Skywalker Rey is a Solo Rey is a Kenobi Rey is nobody Rey is a Knight of Ren Sheev Palps fucks Rey’s father is Darth Maul Rey’s father is Jar Jar Binks Rey’s mother is Keri Russell Rey’s mother is the lady from Rogue One Rey’s mother is Daenerys Targaryen from Solo Any brunette white woman in Star Wars is Rey’s mother There are only brunette white women in Star Wars Rey is a miracle messiah baby like Anakin Don’t be stupid, girls can’t have magic powers out of nowhere But think of the Children! Rey is positive representation for young girls Why does she just have to be representation for girls Reylo is bad representation for young girls Everything in Star Wars has to have a moral core because it is made for children Rey is a Mary Sue If Luke can magically destroy the death star in a one in a million shot with little to no training, Rey can use a fucking lightsaber The Jar Jar Saga Don’t talk about the fucking prequels Anakin murdered a bunch of kids but he’s still better than Kylo Ren Anakin force choked his wife you ghoul The Franchise Awakens The Force Awakens was good fun The Force Awakens was nostalgia pandering bullshit The Last Brain Cell The Last Jedi is the greatest blockbuster in the last twenty years The Last Jedi was SJW pandering bullshit The Canto Bight storyline was an important anticapitalist plot that showed how no one can be neutral in war The Canto Bight storyline was a waste of time Space Monaco pretty You can’t have an anticapitalist storyline in a Disney film The kid with the broom is the future of Star Wars I don’t get the purpose of the kid with the broom Is the kid with the broom a Skywalker now? ForceSkype is stupid ForceSkype is abusive. Kylo didn’t ask if he could force connect to Rey’s mind Poe was right Admiral Holdo was right Leia can’t fucking fly in space You can’t say that Leia cannot theoretically fly in space Old Man Luke is Not My Luke Old Man Luke is a logical progression of Original Luke and you’re just angry about it because you’re getting old too Rose is the best new addition to Star Wars Rose is the worst new addition to Star Wars Why did they change Rey’s space buns? Are you seriously complaining about Rey’s space buns I hate the porgs The Rise of Skywalker D̸͓͕͔̠̿̈̿̕͝Ö̵̟̰͖́Ṉ̴̾'̷̣͙̇̍̍̚T̸̬͑̓ ̸͙̤̳͕̆̄̎͘T̴̨̖̥̚͝͝ͅA̵̛̲̩͘ͅL̵̨̲̫̲̚K̷̛͚͔̐̌̕ ̸̣͚̈́̐T̸̫̠͕̞̝͗̓̿͝O̸͈̱̮̦̹̍͘ ̵͉̣̤͆͛́Ḿ̶̢̡̡͓͈̅̅́̉Ë̶͎͇̱̌̓̑̆ ̷̹̙̾Ă̶̠B̷̡̫̩͋̋Ȍ̴̦̦̪͈̓̋Ȕ̶̬̤͎̹̎̅T̸̢͖͉̬̬͗̄̑̈́͝ ̸̨͓̜̝͒ͅR̵̡̯̖̲͍̾͗͛͆Į̴͇̺͍̰̓Ş̶̢͓̦̂̉̎É̴̪͙͉̩͒̈̄͐ͅ ̷͈̹͐̏͊̕͘O̷̡͕̜͕̒̚͠ͅF̸̡͇̣͇̖̔̿͗ ̴͚͚͓̗̍ͅŠ̶͍͚̬͈̾̚̕͝Ḳ̴̐͛Y̵̛̠͉̼̻̿͂̈́̈W̴͕̄͘A̴͈̹͉̞͉͐L̶̲̓̒́̅͝K̷͈̒Ḙ̸̛̪̎̓̀̊R̶̯̆̍̈́ Droids? Why did C-3PO have a red arm I can’t believe they shelved R2D2 for BB-8 so they could sell toys Do droids have rights? Droids are sentient and represent a slave class in the Star Wars universe Droids have free will and are choosing to help humans How does everyone understand droid beeps? How Does Everyone Speak Wookie? Is Wookie the lingua franca of the galaxy Like Boats Beating Back Into the Past Force Awakens was too nostalgic The Last Jedi wasn’t nostalgic at all and it ruined what I loved about Star Wars when I was a bébé The Rise of Skywalker was too nostalgic Star Wars shouldn’t be nostalgic Star Wars needs to be nostalgic but not too much but just enough The sequels are about the original trio The sequels shouldn’t be about the original trio Cassian Andor should Call Me Rogue One was amazing Rogue One was terrible Rogue One is the only good Star Wars movie That Vader scene was dope Yeah, the Vader scene was pretty dope Why is there only one woman in Rogue One Why do Star Wars movies always look radically different from their trailers? Is That Ansel Elgort? Fuck Solo Darth Maul, though The Mandalorian The Mandalorian will save Star Wars i hate Disney+ But… Baby Yoda… Capitalism won again I don’t think it’s always Pedro Pascal under the mask I’ve devised a system of body language interpretation to figure out when it is Pedro Pascal under the mask Baby Yoda is a balm for my soul If the Mandalorian is a Western, Baby Yoda is a native child that has been stolen Don’t call it Baby Yoda. We do not know its species and Yoda died decades ago Baby Yoda Everyone Ruined Star Wars Rian Johnson ruined Star Wars JJ Abrams ruined Star Wars Chris Terrio ruined Star Wars Kathleen Kennedy ruined Star Wars The Disney machine ruined Star Wars George Lucas ruined Star Wars Star Wars ruined the internet Star Wars ruined pop culture Maybe Star Wars was always bad?