4. Thou Shalt Not Use A Wall As A Private Messaging Function

The "Wall" is one of Facebook's most popular features. That being said, there are times when it might be a good idea to move your conversation to a private venue. Here's a handly little chart to help illustrate when it's appropriate to communicate on a public Facebook wall, and when it's INAPPROPRIATE to do so:

Hopefully that clears up some confusion.

5. Thou Shalt Not Join A Billion Groups

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While it may very well be true that Dave Coulier shaves his balls, what more is there to say about it?

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If you're a black lesbian with a severe wheat allergy who also happens to be into Philip K. Dick and astrology, then you're in luck: there are tons of groups on Facebook, and there's sure to be at least one of them out there that caters to you. But with so many groups available, you have to draw a line in the sand somewhere. You might like chicken noodle soup quite a bit, but do you really need to join the Chicken Noodle Soup Group ? Maybe you prefer sponges to forks, but do you really feel so strongly about it that you need to join SPONGES RULE - FORKS DONT! ? If you think Gladstone is funny (and yes, I know that's a big "if"), do you really want to join his group and announce it to the world? Of course not. There's nothing wrong with joining a few groups, but don't go crazy. Oh - and don't join Gladstone's. Seriously. It will only encourage him.

6. Thou Shalt Not Use Stupid Apps

With so many fart-related apps to choose from, how do I know which one is right for me?

The other day I got a notification on Facebook letting me know that someone had "bought" me. Then someone else challenged me to a "race" where this crappy little car came up, I hit "Go!," and a message popped up that said "YOU LOST THE RACE." Then another notification popped up informing me that someone had "thrown a sheep" at me, asking if I'd like to install some sort of app to "throw a sheep" back at them. Then another notification popped up, but instead of clicking it I closed my laptop, walked down to the nearest highway overpass, and proceeded to get as drunk as a human being possibly can without dying. There are thousands of apps available on Facebook, and although there are a few worth checking out, about 99.9% of them suck. A reasonably intelligent person should be able to tell the difference. If you can't figure out which is which, maybe Facebook isn't the place for you. Perhaps