(I have prepared a statement on their behalf.)

We are very sorry, but — you know how capital is.

This move to kick transgender troops out of the military is a low, awful political ploy. We would like nothing better than to say so. Really. But we had to be strong and silent and make sacrifices. We had to think of our capital.

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Political capital is rare and correspondingly precious, and we must hoard it as a dragon hoards its gold. Each time we fail to voice even the mildest disapproval at something the administration is doing, it is like one more golden cup being added to our pile. Each little bit counts. Every issue, no matter how small, that we let pass without a murmur only builds our strength. One day we will speak with the voice of the thunder, and the president will quake at our disapproval.

But until that day we must be very very careful and hoard up our treasures against the time that is to come, and that is why we have prudently chosen to say nothing.

Look at how careful we have been. Withdrawing from the Paris climate agreement was a blow indeed, one that might well affect our children and grandchildren, but we knew that it was more important to make sure that when the time came, we would have enough capital to make our voices heard on an issue that really counted.

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And this health-care debate has been a trying time for us, indeed. The method of arriving at these bills was reckless, and the likely outcome contrary to anything that was promised — to say nothing of the substantial human cost. But we had to weigh this against something equally important. We looked at our capital and we thought: Think how much we will have at this time next year if we say nothing. We have to give it a chance to grow, safe and unmolested, just like a child with a preexisting condition won’t.

This is also how we felt when the FBI director was fired, and how we will feel if and when Robert Mueller is fired. But by then think of all the capital we will have amassed! Six Bannons’ worth, at least!

Today was especially hard. We love our LGBT friends, of course, and we are immensely grateful for their sacrifices. Specifically, for their willingness to sacrifice their rights to the use of public spaces and participation in the institutions of this nation, in order to protect our capital (which must not be disturbed until the time is ripe).

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It will be a great shame when all meetings with the media are canceled for good and the announcement comes that the State Department is a nonsense relic of a bygone time or the entire Justice Department is purged and replaced with a cardboard figurine of Eric waving alluringly. We will regret that enormously, but holding our peace while all of that transpires will give us UNTHINKABLE POWER on the day — that bold and glorious day — when finally we are able to use all the capital that we have so carefully saved.

On that day our voices will ring across the land. We will be so loud that everyone will know and see our courage. Then our friends will be glad, and our allies will know that we are their allies (as we have of course always been, of course.)