David Moyes needs to find a top striker and hopes Bill Kenwright can find someone to invest in the club

The club

We are Everton

The fourth most successful club in England but unlikely to significantly add to that roll of honour in the foreseeable future.

Bonus culture or EU bailout? Up for sale for three years – about the same as a terraced house in Anfield – with the eighth highest wage bill in the division. An estimated £45m in debt, most of it securitised on season ticket sales. Times have been tough, but not as tough as they seem right now when being outspent by the likes of Stoke and Sunderland.

They'd bite your hand off if you offered them …

The hard-pressed owner Bill Kenwright is not the only one who wants to find a bona-fide buyer, while the fans also dream of the day when somebody arrives who is good enough to wear the No9 shirt. Failure to get one or the other will see another top-eight finish at best and further declining interest levels on the terraces.

Reality check

Four days in an Austrian training camp, a friendly at Bury and a two-game trip to US venues invariably leads to a slow start, elimination from the Carling Cup and talk that "Moyes has taken Everton as far as he can". A barnstorming last quarter, when his squad is down to 10 fit first-teamers, promotes sufficient optimism that the club are not heading back to the dark days of the Walter Smith era.

What the fans sing

"It's a grand old team to play for/It's a grand old team to support/And if you know your history/It's enough to make your heart go woh, oh, oh, oh."

What the fans should sing

Girlfriend In A Coma (The Smiths)

One to follow on Twitter

Phil Neville is @Fizzer18

"Morning all 5.50am here-everyones still in bed-im starving-might have to pop to starbucks for breakfast!"

The players

This is England

Evertonians believe Leighton Baines is the best left-back in the country, Phil Jagielka has the pace if not the distribution to add to his handful of caps and Jack Rodwell may well kick on. One or all of these could be furthering their chances of more caps with other clubs.

Overseas aid

Tim Cahill never puts a foot wrong when it comes to bigging up the club but his obsession with returning to Oz to play in relatively meaningless games is starting to grate as his Everton performances suffer. Dinyar Bilyaletdinov has failed to impress out wide while Louis Saha cannot be relied upon to play four games in a row.

Heart and soul or captain caveman?

Phil Neville, captain in name and attitude, is perceived by England aficionados to be a clogger but despite his gene pool he is surprisingly cultured, both on and off the pitch.

Teenage kicks

There are high hopes for Ross Barkley, a box-to-box midfielder who played for England Under-17s when they won the Euro in 2010. Now fully recovered from a double leg break sustained in September when on England Under-19 duty.

Mad, bad and dangerous to know

Jermaine Beckford won himself a whole new army of critics with his failure to turn up until after kick-off of an FA Cup fifth-round tie with Reading. The game was lost and the neck-tattooed striker blamed gridlock on the M62, even though Phil Neville made it that way. Needs to take his job seriously.

The manager

Paid the cost to be the boss

A plodding defender primarily with Cambridge United, won the now League One title with Preston in 2000 and is still perceived, at 48, to be one of the best young managers in the game. Trouble is he's been at Everton for nine or more trophyless seasons, is grey and middle-aged, and given his glass-half-full attitude, is unlikely to inspire this squad to win a thing.

Clogger or tiki-taka?

A lot of fans see him as the club's biggest asset, the best value-added manager in the league, but others point to his knack of circling the wagons and playing 4-5-1 and thus settling for a point against lesser teams – often at home.

On his to-do list

Try to start an auction for Yakubu Ayegbeni, Joseph Yobo, Bilyaletdinov, Beckford, Saha or even Jack Rodwell to raise funds to land a high-quality striker or two.

The advice Sepp Blatter might give to your club

"Club after my own heart, if I had one. Traditional values, make no progress but the old guard always stay in power, as it should be."

Rule change

Goals from short-arse scurrying midfielders to count double and Louis Saha given dispensation to play in Robocop outfit.