1. You try telling them Mercury is in retrograde, but do they listen? No. Well, don't come crying to me when your car breaks down and your baby gets sick and then your skirt gets stuck in your underwear all in one day and you need a reason why! I tried to tell you!

2. People who say they hate your sign. Oh, you have a problem with Scorpios? Yeah, well, you're gonna have a problem with Scorpios now! JK, JK, Scorpios are sooooo chill.

3. People think you're stupid for liking astrology. The idea that having the ability to memorize numerous dates and signs and personality traits makes you "stupid" is the thing that is stupid!

4. People who say they agree with "some but not all of" their sign description. Really? You don't agree with every single thing every single person says about your sign, which tons of people other than you also have? Gee, I wonder why!

5. Sometimes people don't even know their own sign. It's incredibly tragic, but fortunately you and your infinite astro wisdom can set them right just by having them give you their birthdate. You're basically a hero.

6. When people make you try to guess their sign. Hmm. Let's see. Know-it-all, cocky, kind of a dick, thinks by asking me this they will make me look like an idiot. Libra, I assume?

7. When you go out with someone who has a compatible sign and it still doesn't work out. And you're just like, Whyyyyyyyyyyy??! But the stars said we were soul mates!!! Damn you, stars!

8. When people act like knowing your Sun sign is the only part of astrology. Uh, hello? There's also your rising sign, and your Moon sign, and your Venus and Mars signs. I told you! It's a whole thing!

9. People who don't know their birth time. How am I supposed to know in a foolproof way that we are meant to be friends and/or romantic partners if you don't know your goddamn birth time? By getting to know you? I don't think so!

10. When your horoscope says you're gonna meet the love of your life tonight and you're staying home. Well, I guess I'm gonna marry myself. Cool with me.

Oh, and if you haven't checked your horoscope today, go read ours because they're the best (obviously).

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Lane Moore Sex & Relationships Editor I'm Lane Moore, sex & relationships editor at Cosmopolitan.com.

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