That’s not to say that Poe isn’t likeable. Both the film itself and the characters within the cinematic world admire Poe’s character, but, and here’s the kicker, not as a leader. At least not yet.

Instead, the film supports General Leia and Admiral Holdo and their measured maturity over Poe’s machismo-driven exuberance. “She cared more about protecting the light than seeming like a hero,” Leia tells Poe about Holdo’s sacrifice, subverting the tired narrative trend of the alpha male hero as the only viable or best leadership choice. “Not every problem can be solved by jumping in an X-Wing and blowing stuff up,” Leia tells Poe before demoting him. Skilled X-Wing piloting is a solution to some problems, sure, but for Poe to think his is a skillset that solves all problems is pure hubris.

Poe is far from the only character getting tangled up in notions of masculinity. The Last Jedi is filled with male characters on both sides of the dark/light divide who cause and endure suffering because of their inability to deal with their emotions in healthy ways.

For Luke, this means running away to a remote island and abandoning his family, religion, and cause because he cannot face his failure. For Kylo Ren, this means trying to take over an entire galaxy (as you do) because he cannot deal with Luke’s betrayal or the murder of his father. He cannot face the things he has done. While Luke is having trouble forgiving himself for his perceived part in Ben Solo’s turning, a form of ego itself, Kylo Ren is unable to take even the smallest amount of accountability for murdering his classmates, his father, and much of the galaxy.

Kylo Ren is a character who is easy to make fun of (which also happens to be his worst nightmare), but that doesn’t take away from his power as a villain. He is scary because he reminds us of the real-world men whose anger and frustration and sadness have curdled into something ugly inside of them, causing them to lash out at those they perceive to have robbed them of what they deserve.