Aboot the first thing that happens whan we get tae the mairch is that we get pit in chairge. Weel, kind o. Yin o the organisers comes joggin taewarts us across the gress, asks if we’ll be stewards. Me, ah cry aff; ah’m here tae write aboot the mairch, no tae rin it, an ah’m gey shuir ah’ll no hae onything positive tae say bi the fínish. Ah’v no been …