Paradoxical elements flow through the heart of BDSM. Choosing limits when giving up control is an obvious example of this. The submissive thrives on the idea of total surrender but will do so on their own terms.

For many they are unable, for whatever reason, to find someone to live out their inclinations in the real world. Some will consume kink virtually through videos, online chat and other digital means. Others may satisfy their kink on their own, whether it be dressing up, exercising self instructed control or indulging whatever other predilections they have.

For bondage aficionados, the idea of playing alone leaves more questions than answers. The thrill of being bound is the loss of control. The loss of control is as a result of another restraining the sub in such a way that they are unable to free themselves. The act of self bondage can give the illusion of that lack of control, but to truly restrain oneself to the point of total restriction comes the reality that another is needed to ensure eventual freedom.

I am one who thrives on being restrained. My happiest times are when being placed in to bondage, whether it be on a bondage wheel, a St Andrews Cross or even as simple as a set of handcuffs and a headboard. I have practiced self bondage but have never manged to replicate the feeling of helplessness. I have tied my legs to a chair and arms behind my back but with a loose know I knew I could escape. Did I like it? Yes. Did I get the same buzz as when I was tied tightly on a cross? No.

A google search suggests ice cubes and padlocks that can provide temporary incarceration, but does this lack the psychological element? Perhaps technology can offer a solution in time? The sex industry is always quick to embrace technological advances after all. Photography – porn. The telephone – sex lines. Video – porn. Internet – everything!

For me the true thrill of bondage comes from the interaction. Each buckle fastened is another step toward the loss of freedom. Each padlock secured a step toward helplessness. Self bondage will always have an appeal, a scratch of an itch rather than a satisfying dig with the nails. That is unless you can get yourself in to the same position as Shinyaline and have a rescuer on hand.