Sarah Silverman Wants To Record Your Voicemail Message

Okay, not so much “wants” as “is willing to, provided you fork over enough cash.”

The offer – part of Boston-based Jewish LGBT group Keshet’s “Cabaret” gala fundraising auction – is simple: Make with the big bucks and the esteemed Ms. Silverman will record your outgoing voicemail message.

The official auction posting doesn’t go into detail on whether you’re allowed specify what you’d like Sarah to say, or if you’re stuck with whatever she comes up with as the spirit moves her: likely something with a lot of “fuck”-bombs in it. Regardless, the opportunity to have one of the filthiest mouths in comedy encouraging your friends, family, and telemarketers to leave a message after the beep is well worth the risk. Plus, hell, it’s for a pretty great cause, too.

Keshet’s “Cabaret” gala is in Boston on March 27th, and, auction aside, it looks to be a rocking good time (If anyone can pull of a Cabaret night, it’d be a room full of queer Jews and their pals). If you can’t make it, but you still want those sweet, sultry Silverman tones on your phone, I’m told you can call the folks at Keshet (617.524.9227 – ask for “Rich” or “James”) and set up a remote bidding option over the phone.

While you ponder what your life would be like with a Silverman message on your voicemail, check out what Sarah does with her own phone:

Now, let’s start the bidding.