Leonardo DiCaprio, noted community organizer, successfully gathered up a group of nearly two dozen women to depart a Miami nightclub to an unknown but certainly superior location. The witness reported:

“He left with 20 girls. Leo and 20 girls. He is my hero. He was overflowing with models everywhere. The Jonas brother looked scared, like he was going to drown and suffocate in the women. His face was hilarious.”

Reportedly, he frequently adjusted his topknot (man-bun) and scratched his beard as part of his congregation-building strategy. It was exceedingly effective, for he left not a single woman behind in the VIP area. It was an impressive display of a life-calling — thoroughly, meticulously fulfilled.

Click through for a slideshow of women that DiCaprio has allegedly dated.