On Tuesday night’s Republican presidential debate at Dartmouth College, Ron Paul’s eyebrow tried to escape from his face. “Seen on television, Mr. Paul appeared to have a second, thinner brow under the one headed south, creating a delicate X over his right eye,” The New York Times reports. And the cause of the mysterious eyebrow misbehavior? “Jesse Benton, a campaign spokesman,” says the Times, “insisted that Mr. Paul had been the victim of the elements, namely a heavy pollen season in New Hampshire, and called accusations that he’d been artificially enhancing ‘stupid’ and ‘insulting.’” In VF.com’s exclusive interview with Ron Paul’s Right Eyebrow, we ask about the reported rift between forehead and brow.

Vanity Fair: Hi, thanks so much for joining us today.

Ron Paul’s right eyebrow: Sure.

VF: So, what’s up?

R.P.R.E.: [Pause.] I don’t find that funny.

VF: Oh. Right, no, of course.

R.P.R.E.: It’s O.K.

VF: Listen, I’m seriously really sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. You look worried.

R.P.R.E.: I look “worried”? [Angrily] In what way do I look “worried”?

VF: Your … the bit of hair where your eyebrows would be … are furrowed.

R.P.R.E.: Allergies.

VF: Are you sure? Because sometimes I get upset too, reading New York Times wedding announcements or the last page of Freedom, and I start to cry and sniffle and I say, it’s allergies—I might even “stay in character” and take a Claritin—but it’s just because I’m sad. Are you sad, eyebrow?

R.P.R.E.: I don’t know what “sad” is. I’ve never been happy, so I don’t know what to compare sadness to. Is there anything else besides an ocean of paralyzing fear and anguish that soaks one’s every waking moment with despair?

VF: [Sniffles.]

R.P.R.E.: Are you … are you O.K.?

VF: Allergies.