Ruth Krug is the founder of Reclaiming Lost Voices, which supports survivors of violence.

It wasn’t just humiliation and shame. It was anger and betrayal. After I was raped, I was haunted by the physical trauma and by thoughts of the rapist. But I also couldn’t forget the bystander. This was a man I had looked up to, and he chose to stand by silently as my dignity and self-worth were stolen.

He could have intervened. He could have protected me with the simplest of acts: If he had said “no,” after I said “no,” how powerful would our voices have been together?

After I was raped at a fraternity house, the most haunting reminder of the injustice was the witness, a man who had chosen to stand by silently.

After the rape, when I walked to practice or looked out the classroom window, I had to see the fraternity house where it happened. Every time, I was outraged – powerless and humiliated all over again.

I was an athlete and a dedicated student, but these were not enough to keep me in this tainted community, at my college in my home state of Michigan. Seeing that frat house every day, I lost my love of running and enjoyment of school. Many in the community knew what had happened, and some denied it. I could not live with the injustice. I withdrew from college.

In the end, it was the bystander who made me realize I had to leave. Those who just stand by and allow violence to occur are not really just bystanders; they have inflicted lasting mental harm on the survivors. We will never forget their faces. Every time I saw this man after the attack, he did nothing, made no reference to what had happened. He rejected every opportunity to help me reclaim my voice and my dignity. He invalidated my "no" all over again. I felt disempowered, unable to use my voice.

Bystanders don’t need to be superheroes. Sometimes they just need to speak up. During an attack and after an attack, that may be all that individuals need to reclaim their voices and reclaim their lives.