Chapter 2: Meet Da Chief

Chapter number two. Or, to our friends south of the border, chapter numero dos. Or, to the fans from the east, chapter number ni. Okay, I think I thoroughly ran that joke into the ground now. Please accept my apology in the form of a chapter.

xxx

Sun and Neptune awkwardly stood in front of the office door. Neither of them really knew how to make the first move. Well, Sun had a good idea, but he was trying his best not to show his excitement. You know, first impressions are important and all that.

After standing around in awkward silence, Sun decided to make his move. Before Neptune had the chance to tell him to take a deep breath and calm his hype down, his partner had already put on his biggest grin and walked into the chief's office.

"Yo! Chief! I'm Sun Wukong! How're ya doin'?" greeted Sun as he strolled towards the figure seated at the desk. Neptune let himself have a slight sigh before following after the excitable monkey.

Chief Irons could be easily described as a stout man. Bulky, kind of fat, but definitely having some muscle under it all. His hair was a slightly graying brown and the same could be said for his moustache. Combined with his loosened red tie, unbuttoned vest, and white shirt with the sleeves rolled up, he looked like the exact stereotype of a police chief. The only thing that would make it even more like a stereotype would be if he was smoking a cigar.

And, as if on cue, the chief pulled a fresh cigar out of a desk drawer, cut the tip, and got out a lighter, ready to light it. So now the image was complete. Aren't character tropes refreshing?

"Oh, you're the, uh, junior detectives, eh? Take a seat," Chief Irons mumbled, gesturing to Sun and Neptune with his unlit cigar.

Obeying, the pair of trainee hunters sat in the leather chairs in front of the desk. Neptune put on his best smile, and Sun looked like he was about to burst at the seams at what he was seeing. From the looks of it, he recognized that the chief filled out the chief character archetype perfectly. As far as he was concerned, his life was about to turn into a buddy cop movie.

"Mind if I see ya ID's first?" Irons asked.

"Oh, right," Neptune said to himself as he pulled his student ID out of his pocket. Off to his side, Sun did the same.

Chief Irons leaned over his desk and snatched the IDs from the hunter's hands. He looked back and forth at the pictures on there, comparing them to the people sitting in front of him. As he looked over the cards, he asked, "So, you two think you can hack bein' a cop?"

Neptune opened his mouth to answer, but Sun beat him to the chase. "Chief, sir, I can safely tell you I'm gonna be the best damn cop here!" he loudly announced.

Irons looked up from the cards briefly to give a non-specific grunt to Sun. Then, tossing the cards back at them, the chief tented his hands and leaned on his desk.

"Okay, how about you, pretty boy?" he asked towards Neptune.

"I'll try, chief. I'll try," the blue(?) haired hunter replied. Unfortunately, his tone combined with the cheeky smile he was giving, made Neptune look like he was trying to hit on the chief. As it turned out, his persuasion skills were really only geared towards women. Not that he ever noticed.

Shooting him an eyebrow, Irons said, "…Right. Anyway, if you're going to be here for a few weeks, there's a few things you outgha know. Ya know, rules 'n regs. That stuff."

"Like what, exactly?" Sun quickly (a little too quickly, in fact) asked.

"Like knowing where the desks are, gettin' your service guns, readin' rights, that type of thing," Chief Irons explained. However, Sun couldn't help but take some offence to one of the things he mentioned.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Chief, don't bother giving me a gun. I got my own here," Sun said, reaching to his back. Grabbing Ryuji Bang and Jingu Bang from where he tucked them in his waistband, he proudly displayed them to the chief.

"Dude, put that away!" Neptune hissed at him. At least he had the decency to keep his weapon slung under his jacket.

"I mean, look at these! It's more than enough to take down a dude!" explained Sun as he began to swing his weapons around in their nunchuck form.

"Son, put those away. There's a good reason that we want you to—" Irons tried to explain, before one of Sun's nunchuck guns went off.

As it turned out, swinging around nunchucks that were also lever action guns while seated wasn't a good idea. What made that an even worse idea was bothering to have one round in the chamber while you weren't trying to kill someone. Normally, this would be no problem while you were standing and didn't have a finger on the trigger. But if you were in the position that a gun could be slammed against an armrest and fire, it was a blazingly stupid move to do.

Sun limply held the nunchuck in his hand as he stared at the fresh hole in the window. He could have sworn that he heard a bird squawk just after the gun went off. That poor, poor pigeon. As Chief Irons and Neptune glared at Sun, the monkey Faunus awkwardly and silently put his weapons back into his waistband.

"I… I think I'll take the service gun now…" Sun muttered.

Irons sighed and rubbed his temples. "THIS is why we give ya guns. So you don't fire yours off like some goddamn jackass!" he growled.

Seeing the bad situation brewing, Neptune tried to help along the meeting. Otherwise, they would get kicked out before their assignments even got started. "So, uh…" he began to ask, "Where should we pick up our stuff?"

Chief Irons leveled his gaze at Neptune. "See Officer Morales at the armory. He'll get you your shit," he rumbled.

Taking the opportunity to escape the tense situation that developed, Neptune stood up to leave. He might as well look for the armory now, and get that out of the way. "Thanks for talking to us, chief," he politely said, holding out his hand for a shake.

Instead, Chief Irons gave his hand a slap and said, "Just go get your stuff. Oh, and show up at nine o' clock tomorrow at the briefing room. You'll get your assignments then."

"Got it," Neptune said as he walked towards the door.

Getting up, Sun decided to follow Neptune out of the office. However, before he passed the threshold, he heard one last quip from Chief Irons.

"Hey, monkey boy. Don't let your tail get stuck in the door."

Sun debated saying something back to him, but ultimately decided against it. He needed to play the game if he wanted to become a badass cop, after all. "I won't, sir," he muttered before closing the door behind him.

When the hunters in training left, Chief Irons lit the cigar he had in his hand and took a deep drag. These rookies were going to be the death of him.

xxx

"What the fuck was that in there?!" Neptune lowly hissed at Sun. as they walked towards where they thought the armory was.

"I don't know, I didn't think that was going to happen!" was Sun's defense.

"You were swinging around guns like some asshole in there!" Neptune argued back.

Sun dipped his head in shame. That floor he was walking on right now was way more forgiving than the mistake he just made. It was almost comforting, the way the tiling made a nice zigzag pattern, freshly mopped and waxed…

Sun was snapped out of his distraction by Neptune continuing on with his complaining. "I mean, just… what the hell, man?! What the actual hell?!"

"I thought it would be cool…" Sun grumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets. Given his luck so far, he wouldn't be surprised if his guns went off just by doing that. Luckily for his ass and tail, they didn't.

"You're lucky we didn't get tossed out on our asses! You have a brain, so use it!" was the end of Neptune's raving. After that, the silent air around Sun and Neptune became filled with awkward tension. Sun was already acting like a loose cannon! Well, more than normal, anyway. Having a thief as a partner was kind of a morally ambiguous thing already. But now that he was trying to act like a cowboy cop… it seemed like Sun's behavior was turned up to fucking obnoxious on a ten-point scale.

"…Think we can make up for it by being good cops?" offered Sun.

"At this point, that's all we have to go on," Neptune sighed. "Plus, we need to be that anyway. Might as well kill two Nevermores with one boulder,". "One of which you made in the first place," he added bitterly in his mind.

Hearing Neptune agree with his sentiment perked Sun up. "Then we'll be the best damn cops ever! We'll be the fucking poster-boys of the department!" he proudly declared, his chest swelling with determination.

"You weren't planning on stealing anything, were you?" Neptune flatly asked.

That took the wind out of Sun's sails. The truth stung when it was redirected towards him. To be honest, he was already planning on making a bunch of office supplies "disappear" suddenly. Nothing big, like computers or anything that would be noticeable. Small stuff made for a better mark, like staplers, memory sticks, or large reams of printer paper. Not that he needed any of it, it was just the rush of stealing something and getting away with it that gave Sun a nice buzz. Hell, just the thought of stealing something was making Sun's hands sweat and his heart race already. Even a bag of paperclips would do right now. No! No! He had to repress those urges, damn it! He needed to be a good cop!

As Sun had an internal conflict, the hunter duo approached the door that had the sign "Armory" above it. It was across from the locker room, helpfully labeled with a similar sign. How convenient.

The armory itself wasn't all that impressive. In fact, it was downright normal. Just a plain grey room, with a long counter running across the length of the area. The window above it was covered with a metal fence, with only a small slit below it to hand out the requested item. Off to the side was a door, presumably leading to where the weapons and equipment were stored. Plain, practical, utilitarian. Just what was needed to work.

Neptune and Sun sauntered up to the counter. The officer behind the grating, presumably Officer Morales, picked his head up from what appeared to be a magazine to look at the duo.

"You two need something?" he bluntly asked them.

"Yeah, uh, we need badges and out guns." Neptune explained. When all that got him was a bemused eyebrow, he added, "We're junior detectives."

"Oh. Well, in that case, I have to give you these first," Officer Morales said, as he reached to a small box next to where he sat. Pulling out what looked like two small business cards, he slid them over to Neptune and Sun under the window slot.

The pair each took one and observed what the cards were. "Oh, these are the arrest rights!" Sun observed out loud.

"Good observation. You'll be a detective yet," Morales quipped before getting out of his chair. Before Sun could think of a comeback, the officer had disappeared deeper into the armory to get their supplies.

While Morales was busy, Sun turned to Neptune and gushed, "Dude, we're getting badges! Fucking sick!"

"I know, I know. But let's save that for when we actually get them, okay?" replied Neptune.

Just as the words left his mouth, Morales returned to the window. First, he slid two badges under the slot, followed by two (thankfully empty) service revolvers. "You'll get bullets tomorrow. For now, just put these in your lockers, okay?" said Officer Morales.

Sun and Neptune briefly looked at each other in confusion.

"Uhh, we didn't get assigned one," Sun stated.

"Ohhh… right, right. Yeah, hold on," realized Officer Morales. Then, rolling his office chair over to a corner of the counter, he dug through a box of jingling keys. After a minute of searching, he found the right key and slid his chair back into place. "You two will share on. The junior detective locker is towards the back of the other room," he explained further.

Taking the locker key, Sun tossed it in the air and caught it as it fell. He played with it a little more, before saying, "Is there anything else?"

Officer Morales simply shrugged and went back to reading his magazine. Well, even if that wasn't everything, that was probably the extent of help Sun and Neptune were going to get out of the officer.

With that out of the way, Sun and Neptune walked out of the armory, and into the room directly across the hallway.

The locker room was very much the same as the armory, if only by the fact that it was made with practicality in mind. Just rows of lockers and benches in a drab grey room lit by halogen lights. Just a painfully normal, functional room. If Sun were to think about that, instead of looking at his service revolver, he would have noticed that a real police station was way more boring than what was on television.

But, since he didn't, Sun kept on messing with the revolver. He hefted it in his hand to test the weight, and tried twirling it. At least he was able to pull that off without accidentally shooting anything.

"Is that it over there?" Neptune asked, breaking the silence. He pointed over to a lone locker, shoved off in a far corner of the room. On it read the label "J.D.P. Storage".

"Yep, looks like it," answered Sun as he walked over to it.

Twirling the key between his fingers, Sun added a flourish to unlocking his and Neptune's locker. Once they tossed their gear into the locker, including their badges, Sun made sure to lock it. Who knew if there were any thieves in this department (other than him)?

Once that was accomplished, Sun turned to Neptune with a huge, almost excrement-devouring smile.

"Bro, this is it! We're fucking cops now!" he proudly boasted.

Neptune couldn't help but smile himself a little. Yeah, now he was in the thick of it. He was a cop now, with a stinkin' badge and everything! "You're god damn right we are," the hunter—no, officer stated with a measure of pride.

Sun opened his arms out wide. "C'mon man. Hug it out," he asked. Neptune briefly hesitated at the offer for a bro-hug.

"Ah, screw it," Neptune decided, before going in for the manliest of hugs. What that means is that it involved lightly tapping on the hugging partner's back with your fists, and trying not to have homoerotic thoughts. One of them was having a harder time at that than the other.

Once the hug was broken, Neptune and Sun couldn't help but still smile at each other. This high was simply too great. Yeah, they were big-dick police officers now!

Criminals beware!

xxx

Oh man, now the scum of Vale City has to look out! We have a partially reformed thief and a man so terrible at flirting he probably makes women dry up on the prowl! Yeah, when you put it like that, it sounds terrible. Whatever, I'm just being realistic. Anyway, strap in, folks. This season is getting started! In fact, it's starting… now! Get ready for an adventure full of every cop show trope imaginable! And, take that as a promise. TvTropes certainly can't fail me at this task. I mean, it hasn't gotten rid of the link to my story, so anything is really possible. All I need now is my own page… Ahh, fantasies. Anyway, before I go, just a friendly reminder to let me know what you honestly think about this story. I appreciate all feedback, so don't hold back! Plus, once again I must thank the ultimate editor, Jimbo Yokimbo, for making my ideas sound somewhat coherent!

This is The Draigg, and I'm signing off for now!