NOT FOR PUBLICATION BEFORE 10PM THURSDAY NIGHT

This is a truly historic election result. Nobody could tell you with a straight face that they [didn't see this coming/ predicted this outcome], but it doesn't make it feel any less significant.

It's a victory for [hope/ despair].

It’s a victory for [change/ stasis].

And a victory for [integrity/ deceit].

When this election started six long weeks ago, the pundits told us that a Conservative victory was inevitable. How [prescient/ complacent] they were. Now that it’s all over, and with the benefit of hindsight, we can clearly see how the entire media commentariat deserves [our thanks for keeping us well informed and grounded/ to be sacked en masse and blasted into the sun].

The polls showed what looked like an unassailable lead for the ruling party. Now we know that polls are [snake oil used to manipulate the electorate in favour of the status quo/ objective measures of political reality].

They told us change was impossible. They were [wrong/ right].

They told us that this is all there is to life. They were [wrong / right].

They told us that we can’t have a social safety net. They were [wrong / right].

The Conservative Party thought it could get away with a decade of class war and social murder of the most vulnerable in this country, and come to the ballot box offering only some sticking plasters for the wounds that they themselves inflicted, and a hollow promise to sort out a Brexit mess that they created.

And they stand today [vindicated/ humiliated ] by the [gullibility / righteous fury] of the British electorate.

Because in these six weeks we’ve learned something: That the people of this country possess [a quiet dignity and commitment to decency/ a piss-gargling obsequiousness that will be the death of us all]. And when all is said and done, that is the real meaning of this election result.