Version 2.5.

This observation includes both pre-scratch and post-scratch sessions.

The Knight of Void enters the game first. They manage to prototype their kernel sprite with a Sphynx pre-entry. They have many INTERESTS, including Knowledge and Manufacturing. Their chat handle is knightlyVerbalist. They are definitely the leader. They appear to be destined for greatness. They stare blnakly at the Land of Void and Jungles. They are Ambivalent with the Mage of Heart.



Sphinx but whatever

“Through bullshit hand-wavy game magic.” - Page of Blood.

Also, a combo session. Cool!



The Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though. What was that light on LOVAJ?



Wait, what?

Okay, why the fuck are you ALREADY GODTIER?

The Sylph of Rage enters the game second. They manage to prototype their kernel sprite with a Cholerbear pre-entry. They have many INTERESTS, including Baseball and Superheroes. Their chat handle is sereneRaconteur. They glare with bafflement at the Land of Madness and Fossils. They are Enemies with the Prince of Space. They are Enemies with the God Tier Knight of Void.



>serene

>Land has a “Madness” descriptor

Pick one.

Yup, it IS a video game.

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



Shit, I still cannot see what happens on Void players’ lands.

The Sylph of Rage does random bullshit sidequests at LOMAF, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Bullshit count: 1

(Yes, I’d rather count how much bullshit sidequest benders happened than comment on their contents)

Man, you are growing strong too fast.

The Prince of Space enters the game third. They manage to prototype their kernel sprite with a Chicken pre-entry. They have many INTERESTS, including Satire and Equality. Their chat handle is practicingSellout. They do not even understand the Land of Cards and Frogs. They are Totally In Love with the Seer of Time.



Remember when Princes understood their Aspect? Because I don’t.

Thanks, Cpt. Obvious. Now go kill a chicken imp and make a grist sandwich.

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



I have a feeling Ascending makes it harder to see what the fuck the Void players are doing.

The Sylph of Rage does random bullshit sidequests at LOMAF, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Bullshit count: 2

The Prince of Space does whimsical moon activities, such as attending dance parties, fluttering about aimlessly and chatting up Prospitans. The visions of the future provided by Skaia were largely ignored.



Who cares about Skaian hints? Definiely not Princes.

Third Ascension rung. This kid (Boy? Girl? Neither? I have no idea) is very strong now.

The Seer of Time enters the game fourth. They manage to prototype their kernel sprite with a Centaur pre-entry. They have many INTERESTS, including Knowledge and Literature. Their chat handle is synergisticTailor. They appear to be destined for greatness. They have aaaaaaaall the luck. All of it. They are very confused by the Land of Quartz and Sand.



Knowledge, Literature and Knowledge of Literature.

Aren’t you a Seer of Time?

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though.



Did you steal Jack’s scottie dogs?

The Seer of Time does random bullshit sidequests at LOQAS, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Bullshit count: 3

The Sylph of Rage does whimsical moon activities, such as attending dance parties, cheating at poker and keeping tabs on the lifeblood of Derse. The whisperings of the HorrorTerrors provided a nice backdrop.



Yes, that will definitely mend their Rage.

The Page of Blood enters the game fifth. They manage to prototype their kernel sprite with a Tooth Beast pre-entry. They have many INTERESTS, including Movies and Romance. Their chat handle is perceptiveBarber. They appear to be destined for greatness. They boggle vacantly at the Land of Bonds and Mouths.



I don’t even want to know how that Land looks like.

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



I have no idea what are you doing so I’ll assume you are cutting the jungle down.

The Sylph of Rage does quests at LOMAF, fighting hoards upon hoards of enemies in increasingly unfair odds until defeating them all in a beserk rage. Cholerbearsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



What was the sprite doing, trolling the Sylph?

The Seer of Time and the Page of Blood do random bullshit sidequests at LOQAS, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Well done, Seer. The Page needs instructions.

Bullshit count: 4

The Prince of Space does whimsical moon activities, such as attending dance parties, fluttering about aimlessly and chatting up Prospitans. The visions of the future provided by Skaia were largely ignored.



I heard Prospitans have wonderful ice cream. Shame I am locked in this observatory.

The Mage of Heart enters the game sixth. They manage to prototype their kernel sprite with a Worm pre-entry. They have many INTERESTS, including Comics and Politics. Their chat handle is managerialHandler. They run around excitedly in the Land of Dolls and Obsolescence.



I am…unnerved by that land.

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though. Wait. Are those BABIES!? What is even going on here?



Ectobiology ahoy!

The Seer of Time and the Seer of Time do quests in the Land of Quartz and Sand, making the various bullshit rules of SBURB part of their personal mythos. Partnering up with your own time clones sure is efficient. Centaursprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



I have when temporal bullshit happens but love the results.

The Sylph of Rage and the Page of Blood do random bullshit sidequests at LOMAF, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Okay, but how about you go and make Page do something on his own?

Also, Bullshit count: 5

The Mage of Heart and the Prince of Space do whimsical moon activities, such as attending dance parties, fluttering about aimlessly and chatting up Prospitans. The visions of the future provided by Skaia were largely ignored.



Partying at Prospit and missing out on Skaian intel. What a shame.

Now the Page can go and kick ass on his own. Probably.

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though.



“I am a member of the Midni- needle scratch”



The Seer of Time and the Page of Blood do quests in the Land of Quartz and Sand, manipulating the local stock exchange through a series of cunningly disguised time doubles. The Page of Blood spends a great deal of time lecturing the Seer of Time about the various ways a player can be triggered into going shithive maggots. Centaursprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



“Okay, I am going to make the time doubles do all the work and you are going to tell me about berserk triggers” - Seer of Time



The Prince of Space does quests in the Land of Cards and Frogs, combining paradox slime from multiple frogs together to make paradox offspring. Chickensprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Frog quests. A minigame essential to the session.

The Sylph of Rage does random bullshit sidequests at LOMAF, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Bullshit count: 6

The Mage of Heart does whimsical moon activities, such as attending dance parties, fluttering about aimlessly and chatting up Prospitans. The visions of the future provided by Skaia were largely ignored.



Remember the shitstorm in the previous session? I am content with stuff being serene now.

Fourth Ascension rung. Knight of Void, you are a weapon of annihilation.

The Mage of Heart updates their shipping grid.

Knight of Void ☹—♤ Sylph of Rage

Sylph of Rage ♤—☹ Prince of Space

Prince of Space ♡—☺ Seer of Time



I’ve just remembered Heart players have shipping grids.

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though.



<Strikes the telescope>

Now I have an approximate understanding of what’s happening on Derse…okay, perhaps doing THAT was an overkill.

The Seer of Time initiates a strife with the Hephaestus Minion.



The Hephaestus Minion (50 hp, 25 power) targets the Seer of Time (254 hp, 7 power). A hit!

The Seer of Time (229 hp, 7 power) targets the Hephaestus Minion (50 hp, 25 power). The Seer of Time (229 hp, 7 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Hephaestus Minion (50 hp, 25 power). They miss so hard the Hephaestus Minion (50 hp, 25 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The Hephaestus Minion (50 hp, 25 power) targets the Seer of Time (204 hp, 7 power). A hit!

The Seer of Time (179 hp, 7 power) targets the Hephaestus Minion (50 hp, 25 power). The Seer of Time (179 hp, 7 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Hephaestus Minion (50 hp, 25 power). They miss so hard the Hephaestus Minion (50 hp, 25 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The Hephaestus Minion (50 hp, 25 power) targets the Seer of Time (154 hp, 7 power). A hit!

The Seer of Time (129 hp, 7 power) targets the Hephaestus Minion (50 hp, 25 power). A hit!

The Hephaestus Minion (43 hp, 25 power) targets the Seer of Time (129 hp, 7 power). A hit!

The Seer of Time (104 hp, 7 power) targets the Hephaestus Minion (43 hp, 25 power). The Seer of Time (104 hp, 7 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Hephaestus Minion (43 hp, 25 power).They miss so hard the Hephaestus Minion (43 hp, 25 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The Hephaestus Minion (43 hp, 25 power) targets the Seer of Time (79 hp, 7 power). A hit!

The Seer of Time (54 hp, 7 power) targets the Hephaestus Minion (43 hp, 25 power). The Seer of Time (54 hp, 7 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Hephaestus Minion (43 hp, 25 power). They miss so hard the Hephaestus Minion (43 hp, 25 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The Hephaestus Minion (43 hp, 25 power) targets the Seer of Time (29 hp, 7 power). A hit!

The Seer of Time (4 hp, 7 power) tries to absconds right the fuck out of this fight, but the Hephaestus Minion (43 hp, 25 power) blocks them. Can’t abscond, bro.

The Seer of Time (4 hp, 7 power) targets the Hephaestus Minion (43 hp, 25 power). The Seer of Time (4 hp, 7 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Hephaestus Minion (43 hp, 25 power). They miss so hard the Hephaestus Minion (43 hp, 25 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in. The fight is over. The Seer of Time’s Corpse is dead.



Learn to fight first, don’t miss second.



The Sylph of Rage does quests in the Land of Madness and Fossils, providing psychological counseling to homeless consorts. Cholerbearsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Now go and build them a house.

The Prince of Space does quests in the Land of Cards and Frogs, messing with a variety of frogs that were previously paradox cloned. Chickensprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



I have no idea how Cards tie in with the land but whatever

Seer of Time’s Corpse was always destined to take a Legendary Nap, and upon waking, become a God Tier. Upon being laid to rest on their QUEST BED on the Land of Quartz and Sand, the Seer of Time’s Corpse’s body glows, and rises Skaiaward. On Derse, their dream self takes over and gets a sweet new outfit to boot. They are now extremely powerful.



Guess who else is now god-tier?

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though.



I take my words about the last Derse prank being audacious. THIS one is audacious.

The God Tier Seer of Time initiates a strife with the Hephaestus Minion.



The Hephaestus Minion (43 hp, 25 power) targets the God Tier Seer of Time (254 hp, 508 power). A hit!

The God Tier Seer of Time (229 hp, 508 power) targets the Hephaestus Minion (43 hp, 25 power). A hit!

The Hephaestus Minion (-465 hp, 25 power) is dead.



The fight is over. Hephaestus Minion is dead.



“Sup, asshole” - Seer of Time

The Sylph of Rage and the Page of Blood do quests in the Land of Madness and Fossils, fighting hoards upon hoards of enemies in increasingly unfair odds until defeating them all in a beserk rage. The Page of Blood spends a great deal of time lecturing the Sylph of Rage about the various ways a player can be triggered into going shithive maggots. Cholerbearsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



The Sylph was definitely annoyed by Page’s ramblings.

The Prince of Space does quests in the Land of Cards and Frogs, learning to grow as a person, despite the holes in their personality. Chickensprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Are you stuffing that holes with the frogs?

The Mage of Heart does random bullshit sidequests at LODAO, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Bullshit counter: 7

Level-up X2 combo!

Wait.

Why does the Seer’s 1st rung and the Knight’s 5th rung share the name.

Why does the 5th’s rung name is the same as 3rd’s rung?

I have a feeling this one was a level-down.

The Page is gathering power.

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though. What was that light on LOVAJ?



What the fuck are you doing down there?

The God Tier Seer of Time and the God Tier Seer of Time do quests in the Land of Quartz and Sand, making the various bullshit rules of SBURB part of their personal mythos. Partnering up with your own time clones sure is efficient. Centaursprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Partnering with Ascended clones: Doubly as effective. The Mage of Heart and the Page of Blood do quests in the Land of Dolls and Obsolescence, learning to just let go and let things happen. The Page of Blood spends a great deal of time lecturing the Mage of Heart about the various ways a player can be triggered into going shithive maggots. Wormsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



If a player goes murder mode, just hide and let them go.

The Sylph of Rage and the Prince of Space do random bullshit sidequests at LOMAF, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Bullshit counter: 8

Bullshit quests give you experience.

Press F to pay respects to Mage.

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though. What was that light on LOVAJ?



Still no idea what are you doing down there.

The God Tier Seer of Time and the God Tier Seer of Time do quests in the Land of Quartz and Sand, searching through time for an unbroken legendary piece of shit weapon. Partnering up with your own time clones sure is efficient. Centaursprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Caledfwlch paradox?

The Mage of Heart and the Page of Blood do quests in the Land of Dolls and Obsolescence, learning to silence their Mage Senses long enough to not go insane. The Page of Blood spends a great deal of time lecturing the Mage of Heart about the various ways a player can be triggered into going shithive maggots. Wormsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.

I have a feeling these speeches silence the senses just as well.

The Sylph of Rage does random bullshit sidequests at LOMAF, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.

Bullshit counter: 9



The Prince of Space does whimsical moon activities, such as attending dance parties, fluttering about aimlessly and chatting up Prospitans. The visions of the future provided by Skaia were largely ignored.



The frogs are waiting.

Good for Page, I guess.

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though. Why is the denizen Nix bellowing so loudly on LOVAJ?



Did you just nuke your denizen?

The Sylph of Rage does quests in the Land of Madness and Fossils, fighting hoards upon hoards of enemies in increasingly unfair odds until defeating them all in a beserk rage. Cholerbearsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Makes no surprise there are so much fossils there.

The Mage of Heart does quests in the Land of Dolls and Obsolescence, performing increasingly complex alchemy for demanding, moody consorts. Wormsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Who could’ve thought that a fancy teacup has a 10-step alchemy algo.

The God Tier Seer of Time and the Page of Blood do random bullshit sidequests at LOQAS, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



I have no fucking clue why a god-tier player wastes time on this.

Bullshit count: 0

The Prince of Space does whimsical moon activities, such as attending dance parties, fluttering about aimlessly and chatting up Prospitans. The visions of the future provided by Skaia were largely ignored.



Wait, the counter is not supposed to show 0. It is supposed to be 10.

Ascension rung 6!

(Probably not 4)

The Mage of Heart updates their shipping grid.

Knight of Void ☺—♤ Sylph of Rage

Prince of Space ♡—☺ Seer of Time

Prince of Space ☺—♡ Mage of Heart



Unrequited love, thou art a bitch.

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



There. The counter now has one more digit.

The Sylph of Rage initiates a strife with the Bacchus Minion.



The Bacchus Minion (50 hp, 25 power) targets the Sylph of Rage (167 hp, 13 power). A hit!

The Sylph of Rage (142 hp, 13 power) targets the Bacchus Minion (50 hp, 25 power). A hit!

The Bacchus Minion (37 hp, 25 power) targets the Sylph of Rage (142 hp, 13 power). A hit!

The Sylph of Rage (117 hp, 13 power) targets the Bacchus Minion (37 hp, 25 power). A hit!

The Bacchus Minion (24 hp, 25 power) targets the Sylph of Rage (117 hp, 13 power). A hit!

The Sylph of Rage (92 hp, 13 power) targets the Bacchus Minion (24 hp, 25 power). A hit!

The Bacchus Minion (11 hp, 25 power) targets the Sylph of Rage (92 hp, 13 power). A hit!

The Sylph of Rage (67 hp, 13 power) targets the Bacchus Minion (11 hp, 25 power). A hit!

The Bacchus Minion (-2 hp, 25 power) is dead. The fight is over. Bacchus Minion is dead.



Wow, that was fast.

The Prince of Space does quests in the Land of Cards and Frogs, learning to grow as a person, despite the holes in their personality. Chickensprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Still no frog quests.

The God Tier Seer of Time and the Page of Blood do random bullshit sidequests at LOQAS, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.

Bullshit count: 11

(Fixed it)

Echeladder rungs for everyone!

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



Another goddamn invisible quest.

The Mage of Heart initiates a strife with the Aphrodite Minion.



The Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power) targets the Mage of Heart (81 hp, 8 power). A hit!

The Mage of Heart (31 hp, 8 power) tries to absconds right the fuck out of this fight, but the Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power) blocks them. Can’t abscond, bro.

The Mage of Heart (31 hp, 8 power) targets the Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power). A hit!

The Aphrodite Minion (42 hp, 50 power) targets the Mage of Heart (31 hp, 8 power). A hit!

The Mage of Heart’s Corpse (-19 hp, 8 power) is dead. The fight is over. The Mage of Heart’s Corpse is dead.

Press F to pay respects to the unlucky shipper.

The Prince of Space initiates a strife with the Echidna Minion.



The Prince of Space (207 hp, 10 power) targets the Echidna Minion (50 hp, 25 power). A hit!

The Echidna Minion (40 hp, 25 power) targets the Prince of Space (207 hp, 10 power). The Echidna Minion (40 hp, 25 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Prince of Space (207 hp, 10 power) They miss so hard the Prince of Space (207 hp, 10 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The Prince of Space (207 hp, 10 power) targets the Echidna Minion (30 hp, 25 power). A hit!

The Echidna Minion (20 hp, 25 power) targets the Prince of Space (207 hp, 10 power). The Echidna Minion (20 hp, 25 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Prince of Space (207 hp, 10 power) They miss so hard the Prince of Space (207 hp, 10 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The Prince of Space (207 hp, 10 power) targets the Echidna Minion (10 hp, 25 power). A hit!

The Echidna Minion (0 hp, 25 power) is dead. The fight is over. Echidna Minion is dead.

This one was way luckier for the player.



The Sylph of Rage and the Page of Blood do quests in the Land of Madness and Fossils, ~~~You can’t believe how vzhb it is. You just have to go… a little xizab. Zmw gsvm, suddenly, rg all makes sense, zmw everything blf wl gfimh gl gold. ~~~. The Page of Blood spends a great deal of time helping the Sylph of Rage out with their relationship drama. Cholerbearsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



<shrugs with discomfort>

The God Tier Seer of Time does random bullshit sidequests at LOQAS, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



“I solved this one hours ago!” - Mage of Time

(Bullshit count: 12)

The Prince of Space, as a member of the royalty of Prospit, administers the universal remedy for the unawakened to the Mage of Heart’s Corpse. Their dream self takes over on Prospit.



Level-up for the corpsesmooch.

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



<zzz>

The Dream Mage of Heart initiates a strife with the Aphrodite Minion.



The Aphrodite Minion (42 hp, 50 power) targets the Dream Mage of Heart (81 hp, 9 power). A hit!

The Dream Mage of Heart (31 hp, 9 power) tries to absconds right the fuck out of this fight, but the Aphrodite Minion (42 hp, 50 power) blocks them. Can’t abscond, bro.

The Dream Mage of Heart (31 hp, 9 power) targets the Aphrodite Minion (42 hp, 50 power). A hit!

The Aphrodite Minion (33 hp, 50 power) targets the Dream Mage of Heart (31 hp, 9 power). A hit!

The Dream Mage of Heart’s Corpse (-19 hp, 9 power) is dead. The fight is over. The Dream Mage of Heart’s Corpse is dead.



Congrats, you’ve broken the F button. The Sylph of Rage does quests at LOMAF, ~~~ Gsv denizen, Bacchus, gsrmph gszg grammar rh important. Gszg rules ziv important. Gszg hl nfxs rh rnkligzmg. You’ll show him. ~~~. Cholerbearsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.

Does Bacchus fuck the language up?

The Prince of Space does quests in the Land of Cards and Frogs, paradox cloning a variety of frogs, after making a serious note to mess with them later. Chickensprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Okay, here we go.

The God Tier Seer of Time does random bullshit sidequests at LOQAS, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



(Silently changes the counter to 13)

I am afraid of them now.

Hey, wait a second…

(Note to JR: FIX THIS)

The God Tier Seer of Time is currently too busy flipping the fuck out about 1 dead players to be anything but a useless piece of gargbage.

The Prince of Space is currently too busy flipping the fuck out about 1 dead friends to be anything but a useless piece of gargbage.



Go make out instead of flipping the fuck out, idk

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



Congrats, your party is spectacular.

The Sylph of Rage and the Page of Blood do quests in the Land of Madness and Fossils, ~~~ Mlgsrmt nzpvh hvmhv sviv zmbnliv. Qfhg gsv dzb blf orpv rg. Gsv xlmhligh ziv dsrkkvw rmgl z uilgsrmt ufib. Yzxxsfh rh zdzpv. ~~~. The Page of Blood spends a great deal of time helping the Sylph of Rage out with their relationship drama. Cholerbearsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful. They finally finished off all the main quests on Land of Madness and Fossils. They should be ready to face their Denizen.



Guess they’re done here.

And the Page’s gained an echeladder tier.

The Page of Blood used to think that the Prince of Space was really hot, but now they can’t help but think they are the most fascinating kid left. It’s a shame the Page of Blood has nobody to talk to about this.



How about your best friend, Sylph of Rage?

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



I want to that party.

The Sylph of Rage initiates a strife with their denizen, Bacchus.



The Bacchus (100 hp, 100 power) targets the Sylph of Rage (167 hp, 19 power). A hit!

The Sylph of Rage (67 hp, 19 power) tries to absconds right the fuck out of this fight, but the Bacchus (100 hp, 100 power) blocks them. Can’t abscond, bro.

The Sylph of Rage (67 hp, 19 power) targets the Bacchus (100 hp, 100 power). A hit!

The Bacchus (81 hp, 100 power) targets the Sylph of Rage (67 hp, 19 power). A hit!

The Sylph of Rage’s Corpse (-33 hp, 19 power) is dead.

The fight is over. The Sylph of Rage’s Corpse is dead.



Pictured: Very fast Sylph of Rage’s Coprse going at extremely high speed

The Page of Blood and the Prince of Space do quests in the Land of Bonds and Mouths, going on various quests of self discovery and confidence building. The Page of Blood is flustered around the Prince of Space. ToothBeastsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Inviting them on a land tour? How nice of you, Page.

The God Tier Seer of Time does random bullshit sidequests at LOQAS, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Congrats! You have gained a fruit that, when eaten, will increase your Power by 10! Shame you lost 10 power due to poisoning.

(Bullshit count: 14)

The Page of Blood, as a member of the royalty of Prospit, administers the universal remedy for the unawakened to the Sylph of Rage’s Corpse. Their dream self takes over on Derse.



That’s the first time I see a player gaining a level-up from being corpsesmooched.

The God Tier Seer of Time is currently too busy flipping the fuck out about 1 dead players to be anything but a useless piece of gargbage.



I doubt that will revive them so go and drag the lifeless corpse to the slab.

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though.



Perhaps graffiti left in the Queen’s bedroom is a shit idea.

The Dream Sylph of Rage initiates a strife with their denizen, Bacchus.



The Bacchus (81 hp, 100 power) targets the Dream Sylph of Rage (167 hp, 20 power). A hit!

The Dream Sylph of Rage (67 hp, 20 power) tries to absconds right the fuck out of this fight, but the Bacchus (81 hp, 100 power) blocks them. Can’t abscond, bro.

The Dream Sylph of Rage (67 hp, 20 power) targets the Bacchus (81 hp, 100 power). A hit!

The Bacchus (61 hp, 100 power) targets the Dream Sylph of Rage (67 hp, 20 power). A hit!

The Dream Sylph of Rage’s Corpse (-33 hp, 20 power) is dead. The fight is over. The Dream Sylph of Rage’s Corpse is dead.

Second corpse to the party.

The Page of Blood and the Prince of Space do quests in the Land of Bonds and Mouths, going on various quests of self discovery and confidence building. The Page of Blood is flustered around the Prince of Space. ToothBeastsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Let’s go on before I regurgitate my lunch due to the land’s…aesthetics.

The Page of Blood is now level 6. The Page of Blood is ready to kick ass.

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though. What was that light on LOVAJ?



Sweet, the telescope’s lens is broken now.

The Page of Blood and the Prince of Space do quests at LOBAM, learning the true meaning of this human disease called friendship. The Page of Blood is flustered around the Prince of Space. ToothBeastsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



You contracted it from the Prince, amirite?

The God Tier Seer of Time does random bullshit sidequests at LOQAS, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Well, how about you stop dungeon diving and start assisting other players?

(Bullshit count: 15)



The God Tier Seer of Time is currently too busy flipping the fuck out about 1 dead friends to be anything but a useless piece of gargbage.

The Page of Blood is currently too busy flipping the fuck out about 1 dead friends to be anything but a useless piece of gargbage. Their freakout level is getting dangerously high.

The Prince of Space is currently too busy flipping the fuck out about 2 dead players to be anything but a useless piece of gargbage.

Weren’t you okay just a minute ago?

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



Where is that spare lens?

The Page of Blood is currently too busy flipping the fuck out about 1 dead friends to be anything but a useless piece of gargbage. Their freakout level is getting dangerously high.

The Prince of Space is currently too busy flipping the fuck out about 1 dead friends to be anything but a useless piece of gargbage. Their freakout level is getting dangerously high.

(Note to JR: Fix the flip out mechanics)

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



There. Installing it right now.

The God Tier Seer of Time does random bullshit sidequests at LOQAS, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Wow, you found your missing toothbrush.

(Bullshit count: 16)



The God Tier Seer of Time is currently too busy flipping the fuck out about 1 dead friends to be anything but a useless piece of gargbage. Their freakout level is getting dangerously high.

The Page of Blood is currently too busy flipping the fuck out about 1 dead friends to be anything but a useless piece of gargbage. Their freakout level is getting dangerously high.

The Prince of Space is currently too busy flipping the fuck out about 1 dead friends to be anything but a useless piece of gargbage. Their freakout level is getting dangerously high.

The God Tier Knight of Void is currently too busy flipping the fuck out about 2 dead friends to be anything but a useless piece of gargbage.



The God Tier Seer of Time is currently too busy flipping the fuck out about 1 dead friends to be anything but a useless piece of gargbage. Their freakout level is getting dangerously high.

The Page of Blood is currently too busy flipping the fuck out about 1 dead friends to be anything but a useless piece of gargbage. Their freakout level is getting dangerously high.

The Prince of Space is currently too busy flipping the fuck out about 2 dead players to be anything but a useless piece of gargbage. Their freakout level is getting dangerously high.



No seriously what the fuck is wrong with the code

The God Tier Knight of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though.



Oh, you raided “Liquid Negrocity”. Well done. Now the Archagent’ll rip you a new one.

The reckoning has begun. The Black King has defeated his Prospitian counterpart, initiating a meteor storm to destroy Skaia. Remember those random baby versions of the players the Knight of Void made? Yeah, that didn’t stop being a thing that was true. It turns out that those babies ended up on the meteors heading straight to Skaia. And to defend itself, Skaia totally teleported those babies back in time, and to Earth. We are all blown away by this stunning revelation. Wow, those babies were the players? Really? Like, a paradox? Huh.



Getting back to the King, all the players can do now is try to defeat him before they lose their Ultimate Reward. The Ultimate Reward allows the players to create a new Universe frog, and live inside of it. Without it, they’ll be trapped in the Medium forever. (Barring shenanigans). 4 players will fight the Dersite Royalty and try to prove themselves worthy of the Ultimate Reward.



The Plot happens now.

Before the players can reach the Black King, they are intercepted by the Black Queen.



Oh sweet.

The brave band of heroes, ready to go and kick carapace ass.

The Crowned Black Queen (500 hp, 130 power) targets the God Tier Knight of Void (128 hp, 204 power). The attack misses completely after an unlucky distraction.

The God Tier Knight of Void (128 hp, 204 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (500 hp, 130 power). The God Tier Knight of Void (128 hp, 204 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Crowned Black Queen (500 hp, 130 power) They miss so hard the Crowned Black Queen (500 hp, 130 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The Prince of Space (207 hp, 17 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (500 hp, 130 power). A hit!

The God Tier Seer of Time (254 hp, 868 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (483 hp, 130 power). The God Tier Seer of Time (254 hp, 868 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Crowned Black Queen (483 hp, 130 power) They miss so hard the Crowned Black Queen (483 hp, 130 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The Page of Blood (213 hp, 65 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (483 hp, 130 power). A hit!

The Crowned Black Queen (418 hp, 130 power) targets the God Tier Knight of Void (118 hp, 204 power). A hit! The God Tier Knight of Void’s Corpse (-12 hp, 204 power) is dead.

The Prince of Space (207 hp, 17 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (418 hp, 130 power). A hit!

The God Tier Seer of Time (244 hp, 868 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (401 hp, 130 power). The God Tier Seer of Time (244 hp, 868 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Crowned Black Queen (401 hp, 130 power) They miss so hard the Crowned Black Queen (401 hp, 130 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The Page of Blood (213 hp, 65 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (401 hp, 130 power). A hit!

The Crowned Black Queen (336 hp, 130 power) targets the God Tier Seer of Time (234 hp, 868 power). A hit!

The Prince of Space (207 hp, 17 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (336 hp, 130 power). A hit!

The God Tier Seer of Time (104 hp, 868 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (319 hp, 130 power). A hit! The Crowned Black Queen (-549 hp, 130 power) is dead.

The fight is over. Black Queen is dead.



One player down for the count.

It is time for the final opponent, the Black King.



Anticipation is building up…

The Knight of Void’s taking a nap.

The Prince of Space (207 hp, 20 power) targets the Crowned Black King (1000 hp, 1080 power). A hit!

The God Tier Seer of Time (254 hp, 928 power) targets the Crowned Black King (980 hp, 1080 power). A hit!

The Page of Blood (213 hp, 80 power) targets the Crowned Black King (52 hp, 1080 power). A hit!

The Crowned Black King (-28 hp, 1080 power) is dead.



The fight is over. Black King is dead.



Wew, this one was fast.

The game abstraction of the Judgement Clock is ruling on the death of the God Tier Knight of Void’s Corpse. The God Tier Knight of Void’s Corpse’s death is judged to be neither HEROIC nor JUST. They revive in a rainbow glow, stronger than ever.



“NOT GOING DOWN THAT EASILY” - Knight of Void



4 players are alive.

Victory is not without it’s price. 2 players are dead, never to revive. There is time for mourning.

The Sylph of Rage died fighting the Bacchus (61 hp, 100 power). They are mourned by the God Tier Knight of Void.The Sylph of Rage died fighting the Bacchus (61 hp, 100 power). They are mourned by the God Tier Knight of Void.

Rest in peace, fools.

Unfortunately, the Prince of Space was unable to complete frog breeding duties. They only got 42% of the way through. Who knew that such a pointless mini-game was actually crucial to the ending? No universe frog, no new universe to live in. Thems the breaks. If it’s any consolation, it really does suck to fight so hard only to fail at the last minute.



I warned them. I TOLD THEM ABOUT THE FROGS.

Game Over. Or is it?

The MVP of the session was: God Tier Seer of Time with a power of: 988

Thanks for Playing!



The survivors…or are they?

The afterlife logs.

I am scratching this session.

The session has been scratched. The Knight of Void and Sylph of Rage and Prince of Space and Seer of Time and Page of Blood and Mage of Heart will now be the beloved guardians. Their former guardians, the Sylph of Void and Mage of Rage and Maid of Space and Thief of Time and Page of Blood and Witch of Heart will now be the players. The new players will be given stat boosts to give them a better chance than the previous generation. What will happen?



Oh, look, Page of Blood and Page of Blood share the classpect.

The Sylph of Void enters the game first. They manage to prototype their kernel sprite with a Uncle pre-entry. They have many INTERESTS, including Action Movies and Manufacturing. Their chat handle is sweetVeterinarian. They are definitely the leader. They stare blankly at the Land of Food and Void.



Oh hey, did you throw your guardian in, troll-style?

The Sylph of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though.



Like your dancestor.

The Mage of Rage enters the game second. They manage to prototype their kernel sprite with a Cholerbear pre-entry. They have many INTERESTS, including Baseball and Graffiti. Their chat handle is muscleyRunner. They appear to be destined for greatness. They have aaaaaaaall the luck. All of it. They glare with bafflement at the Land of Frost and Mirth. They are Totally In Love with the Thief of Time.



Go wear a coat, it is cold out there. The Mage of Rage is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though. What was that light on LOFAM?

Did you…did you just murder them on the Quest Bed?

The Sylph of Void does quests in the Land of Food and Void, preserving the legacy of a doomed people. Unclesprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Wait, the Voidscope is finally working.

The Maid of Space enters the game third. They manage to prototype their kernel sprite with a Construction Worker pre-entry. They have many INTERESTS, including Knowledge and Equality. Their chat handle is machiavellianStudent. They do not even understand the Land of Slums and Frogs.



Okay, what the Construction Worker was doing in you home?

The Maid of Space is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



It is spreading.

The Sylph of Void does quests in the Land of Food and Void, preserving the legacy of a doomed people. Unclesprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.

At least it doesn’t affect the vector.

The God Tier Mage of Rage does random bullshit sidequests at LOFAM, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



<flips a coin>

Bullshit count: 17

(Continuing from pre-Scratch)

The Thief of Time enters the game fourth. They manage to prototype their kernel sprite with a Centaur pre-entry. They have many INTERESTS, including Knowledge and Meditation. Their chat handle is theoreticalTrainee. They appear to be destined for greatness. They have aaaaaaaall the luck. All of it. They are very confused by the Land of Ruse and Melody. They are Enemies with the Sylph of Void.



If you’re their enemy then why are you chatting with them about your entry?

The Thief of Time is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though. What was that light on LORAM?



“Whoops, I didn’t mean to kill you. How about I take your corpse to the Quest Bed?” - Sylph of Void



The Sylph of Void does quests in the Land of Food and Void, playing a hilariously fun boxing minigame. Unclesprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Wow, never seen that one before.

The God Tier Mage of Rage does quests in the Land of Frost and Mirth, performing increasingly complex alchemy for demanding, moody consorts. Cholerbearsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



The 10-step teacup makes its return.

The Maid of Space does random bullshit sidequests at LOSAF, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



You’re definitely not going to get the frog done at this rate.

(Bullshit count: 18)

The Page of Blood enters the game fifth. They manage to prototype their kernel sprite with a Tooth Beast pre-entry. They have many INTERESTS, including Movies and Molecular Gastronomy. Their chat handle is playerBuddy. They boggle vacantly at the Land of Glass and Bonds. They are Totally In Love with the God Tier Mage of Rage.

Glass > Mouths, period.

The God Tier Thief of Time is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



Oh hey sweet! Teamwork…or what?

The Sylph of Void does quests at LOFAV, destroying and/or censoring embarassing consort records. Unclesprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



I see what you are doing there, Sylph.

The God Tier Mage of Rage does quests in the Land of Frost and Mirth, performing increasingly complex alchemy for demanding, moody consorts. Cholerbearsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Wait, wrong teacup.



The Maid of Space does random bullshit sidequests at LOSAF, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



You’re definitely not going to get the frog done at this rate.

(Bullshit count: 19)



A Thief of Time suddenly warps in from the future. They come with a dire warning of a doomed timeline. They dropkick the B͏̈҉̰̮̋͡҉u͛ͨͦg̶̸̨̛̛̻̣̠ͬͤͫ̃̑g̴̵̜̜͍̗͙̍̒ͤ͡͝ẏ͍̜̾̑̇͠ͅ A̡̢ͮ͊̐͋҉̤͛ͦ͡s̭͇ F̴̛̹̺͖̮̙ͪͧ́ư̴̡̛̟̟͎̫ͧ̋̿͗c̛̲̭̔̋̾͗ͯ̾̋͡k҉̯̀ͦ̐͡ R̛̺̲̅̀͞e̥͓̟͂̿͒̿͘͟͜͝tͨͮ͘r̹̭̓͘͟͢o G̵͑҉̡̛̝̻̠̮̒̌͝a̵̪͚͆m̛̦͆ͩ͏̫̩͎ͦ͛͗̉̚͢͡eͫ out of the way and jump into the Witch of Heart’s kernel sprite instead.

Corruption clustefuck: Averted.

The Witch of Heart enters the game sixth. They manage to prototype their kernel sprite with a God Tier Thief of Time pre-entry. They have many INTERESTS, including Comics and Crochet. Their chat handle is wokkaHuckster. They run around excitedly in the Land of Little Cubes and Video Games.



…

Shit.

This is worse than First Guardian prototyping.

The Witch of Heart updates their shipping grid.

Mage of Rage ☺—♡ Page of Blood



Moving on, nothing to see here.

The God Tier Mage of Rage has taken an acrobatic fucking pirouette off the handle and into a giant pile of crazy. They engage Murder Mode while thinking of their enemies Maid of Space and Page of Blood. This is completely terrifying.

Oh fuck.

Guess this session is down.

The Maid of Space is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though.



===> Maid of space: Hide at Sylph’s house.

The Sylph of Void initiates a strife with the Nix.

The Sylph of Void (64 hp, 54 power) targets the Nix (100 hp, 25 power). A hit!

The Nix (46 hp, 25 power) targets the Sylph of Void (64 hp, 54 power). A hit!

Shit. The Sylph of Void (39 hp, 54 power) doesn’t know what to do. They don’t want to die… They abscond.

The fight is over due to a lack of player presence.



Okay, a wise move, even though the strife wouldn’t be lethal for you, barring fuckups.

The God Tier Thief of Time and the God Tier Thief of Time do quests in the Land of Ruse and Melody, robbing various enemy imps and ogres to obtain vast riches. Partnering up with your own time clones sure is efficient. Centaursprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Just go and farm them.

The Witch of Heart updates their shipping grid.

Mage of Rage ♤—☹ Maid of Space

Mage of Rage ☺—♡ Page of Blood



Sweet dreams, Witch.

The Murder Mode God Tier Mage of Rage can’t even find the Maid of Space in order to kill them! Do they just never stay in one spot for more than five seconds? Flighty bastard. It’s hard to stay enraged while wandering around lost.



Nope, Void majyyks.

The Maid of Space is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



“Sure, help me with the quests. The Mage won’t find you.” - Sylph of Void

The Sylph of Void initiates a strife with the Nix. The Sylph of Void (64 hp, 54 power) targets the Nix (46 hp, 25 power). A hit!

The Nix (-8 hp, 25 power) is dead. The fight is over. Nix is dead.



Told you.

The Page of Blood and the God Tier Thief of Time do quests at LOGAB, uniting warring consort nations against a common enemy. The God Tier Thief of Time delights in rubbing how much better they are at the game in the face of the Page of Blood. ToothBeastsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Gosh, don’t be an asshole, he is yet to Ascend.

The Sylph of Void racked up quite a few Echeladder rungs.

The Murder Mode God Tier Mage of Rage can’t even find the Maid of Space in order to kill them! Do they just never stay in one spot for more than five seconds? Flighty bastard. It’s hard to stay enraged while wandering around lost.



Hard to catch somebody hidden by the Void, right?

The God Tier Thief of Time is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



Hard to see them at all, honestly.

The Page of Blood and the Sylph of Void do quests in the Land of Glass and Bonds, learning the true meaning of this human disease called friendship. ToothBeastsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Oh look the Voidscope works on cloaked targets.

The Maid of Space does quests at LOSAF, messing with a variety of frogs that were previously paradox cloned. ConstructionWorkersprite is pretty much as useful as another player. No cagey riddles, just straight answers on how to finish the quests.

Why an uncle is less useful than a random construction worker?



The Witch of Heart does random bullshit sidequests at LOLCAVG, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Oh look, a vintage Legend of Zelda cartridge.

(Bullshit count: 20)



Fuckign rip.

The Witch of Heart updates their shipping grid.

Mage of Rage ♤—☺ Maid of Space

Mage of Rage ☹—♡ Page of Blood

Thief of Time ☹—♡ Page of Blood



The news reach even the thickest. With time.

The Murder Mode God Tier Mage of Rage can’t even find the Maid of Space in order to kill them! Do they just never stay in one spot for more than five seconds? Flighty bastard. It’s hard to stay enraged while wandering around lost.



Hee hee hee. Haa haa haa. Hoo hoo hoo.

The God Tier Thief of Time is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though.



Party together for raids on Archagent’s scotty dogs storage!

The Page of Blood initiates a strife with the Hestia Minion.



The Hestia Minion (50 hp, 25 power) targets the Page of Blood (68 hp, 80 power). A hit!

Shit. The Page of Blood (43 hp, 80 power) doesn’t know what to do. THey don’t want to die… Before they can decide whether or not to abscond Hestia Minion (50 hp, 25 power) blocks their escape route. Can’t abscond, bro.

The Page of Blood (43 hp, 80 power) targets the Hestia Minion (50 hp, 25 power). A hit!

The Hestia Minion (-30 hp, 25 power) is dead.



The fight is over. Hestia Minion is dead.



That feeling when you want to run away so much that you kill the obstacle instead.

The Sylph of Void does quests at LOFAV, destroying and/or censoring embarassing consort records. Unclesprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Apparently Void players are not always cloaking themselves, sometimes they cloak others?

(JR’s note: Yes, some Void players cloak others nowadays instead of themselves)

The Maid of Space does random bullshit sidequests at LOSAF, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.

“GO BREED FROGS” - an ancient mural

(Bullshit count: 21)

That seems like level 7 Page of Blood.

The Murder Mode God Tier Mage of Rage can’t even find the Maid of Space in order to kill them! Do they just never stay in one spot for more than five seconds? Flighty bastard. It’s hard to stay enraged while wandering around lost.



“Shit, where are they?” - Mage of Rage



The Witch of Heart is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



I have no idea what exactly the Witch is doing but they are doing fine.

The Page of Blood and the Sylph of Void do quests in the Land of Glass and Bonds, partnering with a local consort hero to do great deeds and slay evil foes. The Page of Blood is flustered around the Sylph of Void. ToothBeastsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



The Evil is vanquished. The consort offspring can now sleep in peace.

The God Tier Thief of Time and the God Tier Thief of Time do quests in the Land of Ruse and Melody, planning an elaborate heist that relies on several hard-to-predict factors going absolutely perfectly. Partnering up with your own time clones sure is efficient. Centaursprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



I have a feeling that a heads-on approach would be way quicker, if even not as elegant.

The Maid of Space does random bullshit sidequests at LOSAF, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



“GO BREED FROGS, DAMMIT” - an ancient mural

(Bullshit count: 22)



How nice of you, Mage of Rage, not asking where the Page is so that you could murder them.

The Witch of Heart updates their shipping grid.

Sylph of Void ☹—♡ Page of Blood

Mage of Rage ♤—☺ Maid of Space

Mage of Rage ☺—♡ Page of Blood

Thief of Time ☹—♡ Page of Blood



I am not tracking relationships. Let Witch of Heart do that for me.

The Murder Mode God Tier Mage of Rage can’t even find the Maid of Space in order to kill them! Do they just never stay in one spot for more than five seconds? Flighty bastard. It’s hard to stay enraged while wandering around lost.



===> Mage of Rage: Scream in frustration.

The God Tier Thief of Time is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though.



You have stolen all of the Archagent’s licorice scottie dogs. ALL OF THEM.

The Page of Blood and the Sylph of Void do quests in the Land of Glass and Bonds, convincing the local consorts to rise up against the denizen, Hestia. The Page of Blood is flustered around the Sylph of Void. ToothBeastsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



If you fail in killing Hestia, the consorts will just swarm her with sheer numbers.

The Maid of Space does random bullshit sidequests at LOSAF, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Third time’s the charm.

(Bullshit count: 23)

<spills tea>

The Witch of Heart updates their shipping grid.

Sylph of Void ☹—♡ Page of Blood

Mage of Rage ♤—☺ Maid of Space

Mage of Rage ☺—♡ Page of Blood

Thief of Time ☹—♡ Page of Blood

Page of Blood ♡—☹ Witch of Heart



I guess that’s it.

The Murder Mode God Tier Mage of Rage can’t even find the Maid of Space in order to kill them! Do they just never stay in one spot for more than five seconds? Flighty bastard. It’s hard to stay enraged while wandering around lost.



Go check Sylph’s planet, you dumbass.

The Page of Blood is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though.



Probably you’ll nail two birds with one stone.

The God Tier Thief of Time initiates a strife with the Hephaestus Minion.



The God Tier Thief of Time (95 hp, 210 power) targets the Hephaestus Minion (50 hp, 25 power). A hit!

The Hephaestus Minion (-160 hp, 25 power) is dead.



The fight is over. Hephaestus Minion is dead.



Bye-bye, minion.

The Sylph of Void does quests in the Land of Food and Void, playing a hilariously fun boxing minigame. Unclesprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Isn’t the planet full of Food? Then what is it Void of? Absence of Food?

The Maid of Space does random bullshit sidequests at LOSAF, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



The murals start incorporating frog iconography.

(Bullshit count: 24)

Sweet, another Ascension rung…

And two shattered hearts.

The Witch of Heart updates their shipping grid.

Sylph of Void ☹—♡ Page of Blood

Mage of Rage ♤—☺ Maid of Space

Mage of Rage ☺—♡ Page of Blood

Mage of Rage ☺—♡ Witch of Heart

Maid of Space ☹—♡ Page of Blood

Thief of Time ☹—♡ Page of Blood

Page of Blood ♡—☹ Witch of Heart



Well, here’s the shipping grid, revised.

The Murder Mode God Tier Mage of Rage can’t even find the Maid of Space in order to kill them! Do they just never stay in one spot for more than five seconds? Flighty bastard. It’s hard to stay enraged while wandering around lost.



You could try and camp the Forge, but this Maid is not doing shit about the main quest so…

The Sylph of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though. Why is the denizen Nix bellowing so loudly on LOFAV?



Rip Nix? Oh, wait, she is already dead.

The Page of Blood and the Maid of Space do quests in the Land of Glass and Bonds, give unending speeches about the power of friendship and how they are all fighting for loved ones back home to confused and impressionable consorts. The Page of Blood is flustered around the Maid of Space. ToothBeastsprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



“This is worth fighting for, consorts!” - Page of Blood and Maid of Space



The God Tier Thief of Time does random bullshit sidequests at LORAM, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Theory: The amount of the players who waste time on bullshit sidequests is a constant.

(Bullshit count: 25)

Another level-up…

And two more broken hearts.

The Witch of Heart updates their shipping grid.

Sylph of Void ♡—☹ Thief of Time

Sylph of Void ☹—♡ Page of Blood

Mage of Rage ♤—☺ Maid of Space

Mage of Rage ☺—♡ Page of Blood

Mage of Rage ☺—♡ Witch of Heart

Maid of Space ☹—♡ Page of Blood

Maid of Space ☹—♡ Witch of Heart

Thief of Time ☹—♡ Page of Blood

Page of Blood ♡—☹ Witch of Heart



Thanks for the chart, Witch.

The Murder Mode God Tier Mage of Rage can’t even find the Maid of Space in order to kill them! Do they just never stay in one spot for more than five seconds? Flighty bastard. It’s hard to stay enraged while wandering around lost.



Good. Go chill.

The Sylph of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though.



Perhaps doing THAT was audacious.

The Maid of Space does quests at LOSAF, doing the consorts’ menial errands, like delivering an item to a dude standing RIGHT FUCKING THERE. ConstructionWorkersprite is pretty much as useful as another player. No cagey riddles, just straight answers on how to finish the quests.



Who could’ve thought that you need answers to delivery quests.

The God Tier Thief of Time does random bullshit sidequests at LORAM, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Bullshit count: 26



The Murder Mode God Tier Mage of Rage can’t even find the Maid of Space in order to kill them! Do they just never stay in one spot for more than five seconds? Flighty bastard. It’s hard to stay enraged while wandering around lost.



Nope, they are doing Maid quests.



The Maid of Space is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though. Why is the denizen Echidna bellowing so loudly on LOSAF?



Okay, dafuq you did

The Sylph of Void does quests in the Land of Food and Void, restoring their land from the ravages of Nix. Unclesprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



I see those a bit useless but whatever

The God Tier Thief of Time and the God Tier Thief of Time do quests at LORAM, searching through time for an unbroken legendary piece of shit weapon. Partnering up with your own time clones sure is efficient. Centaursprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



But what one gets the weapon honestly and what one nabs it from the other?

The Witch of Heart does random bullshit sidequests at LOLCAVG, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



The theory seems a bit more true.

(Bullshit count: 27)

The Maid has levelled up.

The Murder Mode God Tier Mage of Rage can’t even find the Maid of Space in order to kill them! Do they just never stay in one spot for more than five seconds? Flighty bastard. It’s hard to stay enraged while wandering around lost.



They are too busy levelling up and not doing frogs to be caught by you.

The Maid of Space is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



Okay, where is the Voidscope?

The Sylph of Void does quests in the Land of Food and Void, restoring their land from the ravages of Nix. Unclesprite provides the requisite amount of gigglesnort hideytalk to be juuuust barely helpful.



Apparently the ravages of Nix are “Too much food”.

The Witch of Heart does random bullshit sidequests at LOLCAVG, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Yep, absolutely.

(Bullshit count: 28)

The Murder Mode God Tier Mage of Rage can’t even find the Maid of Space in order to kill them! Do they just never stay in one spot for more than five seconds? Flighty bastard. It’s hard to stay enraged while wandering around lost.



The Mage of Rage perseveres due to pure HATRED.

The Page of Blood is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



Go ahead and get a few rungs, Page.



The Maid of Space initiates a strife with the Echidna Minion.



The Maid of Space (245 hp, 121 power) targets the Echidna Minion (50 hp, 25 power). A hit!

The Echidna Minion (-71 hp, 25 power) is dead.



The fight is over. Echidna Minion is dead.



One shot, one kill.

The Witch of Heart does quests in the Land of Little Cubes and Video Games, correctly picking out which item represents them out of a vault of a thousand bullshit shitty stuffed animals. GodTierThiefofTimesprite is pretty much as useful as another player. No cagey riddles, just straight answers on how to finish the quests.



This is the Grail…

The Sylph of Void does random bullshit sidequests at LOFAV, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



The theory holds true.

(Bullhit count: 29)

The just reward for the Echidna minion.

The Witch of Heart updates their shipping grid.

Sylph of Void ♡—☹ Thief of Time

Sylph of Void ☹—♡ Page of Blood

Mage of Rage ♤—☺ Maid of Space

Mage of Rage ☺—♡ Page of Blood

Mage of Rage ☺—♡ Witch of Heart

Maid of Space ☹—♡ Page of Blood

Maid of Space ☹—♡ Witch of Heart

Thief of Time ☺—♡ Page of Blood

Page of Blood ♡—☹ Witch of Heart



What did I miss?

The Murder Mode God Tier Mage of Rage can’t even find the Maid of Space in order to kill them! Do they just never stay in one spot for more than five seconds? Flighty bastard. It’s hard to stay enraged while wandering around lost.



<yawn> I am tired of those.

The Page of Blood is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



Go fix the land.

The Maid of Space does quests in the Land of Slums and Frogs, restoring their land from the ravages of Echidna. ConstructionWorkersprite is pretty much as useful as another player. No cagey riddles, just straight answers on how to finish the quests.



Aren’t you supposed to kill/subdue Echidna first?

The Sylph of Void does random bullshit sidequests at LOFAV, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Oh, look. 30 Bullshit Quest Benders.

The Murder Mode God Tier Mage of Rage can’t even find the Maid of Space in order to kill them! Do they just never stay in one spot for more than five seconds? Flighty bastard. It’s hard to stay enraged while wandering around lost.



Well, how about you go and check their land?

The Witch of Heart is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though.



The lens is blacked out, again.

The Maid of Space does quests in the Land of Slums and Frogs, restoring their land from the ravages of Echidna. ConstructionWorkersprite is pretty much as useful as another player. No cagey riddles, just straight answers on how to finish the quests.



I hope you’ve lit the Forge.

The Sylph of Void does random bullshit sidequests at LOFAV, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Bullshit count: 31

The Murder Mode God Tier Mage of Rage has officially settled their shit.



Yay, finally.

The Maid of Space is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though.



Is it frog breeding? Please let it be frog breeding.

The Witch of Heart does quests in the Land of Little Cubes and Video Games, correctly picking out which item represents them out of a vault of a thousand bullshit shitty stuffed animals. GodTierThiefofTimesprite is pretty much as useful as another player. No cagey riddles, just straight answers on how to finish the quests.



Grail seeking goes on.

The Sylph of Void does random bullshit sidequests at LOFAV, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



Those quests are Void of purpose.

(Bullshit count: 32)

The God Tier Thief of Time is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. Their consorts seem pretty happy, though. Why is the denizen Hephaestus bellowing so loudly on LORAM?



Bye-bye Hephaestus.

The Witch of Heart initiates a strife with the Aphrodite Minion.



The Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power) targets the Witch of Heart (247 hp, 65 power). A hit!

The Witch of Heart (197 hp, 65 power) targets the Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power). The Witch of Heart (197 hp, 65 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power). They miss so hard the Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power) targets the Witch of Heart (147 hp, 65 power). A hit!

Shit. The Witch of Heart (97 hp, 65 power) doesn’t know what to do. THey don’t want to die… Before they can decide whether or not to abscond Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power) blocks their escape route. Can’t abscond, bro.

The Witch of Heart (97 hp, 65 power) targets the Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power). The Witch of Heart (97 hp, 65 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power). They miss so hard the Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power) targets the Witch of Heart (47 hp, 65 power). A hit!

The Witch of Heart’s Corpse (-3 hp, 65 power) is dead. The fight is over. The Witch of Heart’s Corpse is dead.



Now this one would be ridiculous if it wasn’t so morbid.

The Maid of Space does quests in the Land of Slums and Frogs, restoring their land from the ravages of Echidna. ConstructionWorkersprite is pretty much as useful as another player. No cagey riddles, just straight answers on how to finish the quests.



Go remove the slums, Maid.

The Sylph of Void does random bullshit sidequests at LOFAV, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.

32! A round number!

Um…in binary, I mean.

I don’t even want to know what have you done to earn that title.

The Page of Blood, as a member of the royalty of Prospit, administers the universal remedy for the unawakened to the Witch of Heart’s Corpse. Their dream self takes over on Prospit.



Corpsesmooches. Meant to be an act of true love, but, actually, a fucking exploit.

The Dream Witch of Heart is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. You are definitely blaming the Sylph of Void, somehow. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though. Why is the denizen Aphrodite bellowing so loudly on LOLCAVG?



You have realised how to do the stuff like that.

The Maid of Space does quests in the Land of Slums and Frogs, restoring their land from the ravages of Echidna. ConstructionWorkersprite is pretty much as useful as another player. No cagey riddles, just straight answers on how to finish the quests.



Okay, 1% of slums down.

The Page of Blood and the Sylph of Void do random bullshit sidequests at LOGAB, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



The quests are contagious.

(Bullshit count: 33)

Go in and increase your chance of survival.

The Sylph of Void is doing…something. It’s kind of hard to see. The Dersites sure seem to be mad at them, though.



Stop ganking their martini, you’re still not allowed to drink it.

The Dream Witch of Heart initiates a strife with the Aphrodite Minion.



The Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power) targets the Dream Witch of Heart (245 hp, 133 power). A hit!

The Dream Witch of Heart (195 hp, 133 power) targets the Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power). The Dream Witch of Heart (195 hp, 133 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power). They miss so hard the Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power) targets the Dream Witch of Heart (145 hp, 133 power). Ouch. That’s gonna leave a mark.

The Dream Witch of Heart (45 hp, 133 power) tries to absconds right the fuck out of this fight, but the Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power) blocks them. Can’t abscond, bro.

The Dream Witch of Heart (45 hp, 133 power) targets the Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power). The Dream Witch of Heart (45 hp, 133 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power). They miss so hard the Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in. The fight is over. The Dream Witch of Heart’s Corpse is dead.



How unlucky do you even need to be to lose the second fight against the enemy who’d die from one hit by you like that?

The Maid of Space does quests in the Land of Slums and Frogs, restoring their land from the ravages of Echidna. ConstructionWorkersprite is pretty much as useful as another player. No cagey riddles, just straight answers on how to finish the quests.



The slums are endless.

The God Tier Mage of Rage and the God Tier Thief of Time do random bullshit sidequests at LOFAM, solving puzzles and getting coy hints about The Ultimate Riddle.



34th bullshit quest bender. With 2 Ascended players, no less.

The reckoning has begun. The Black King has defeated his Prospitian counterpart, initiating a meteor storm to destroy Skaia. Remember those random baby versions of the players the Sylph of Void made? Wait… DID they make the babies? Or, was it their guardian, the Knight of Void? Scratched sessions are so confusing… Yeah, that didn’t stop being a thing that was true. It turns out that those babies ended up on the meteors heading straight to Skaia. And to defend itself, Skaia totally teleported those babies back in time, and to Earth. We are all blown away by this stunning revelation. Wow, those babies were the players? Really? Like, a paradox? Huh.



Getting back to the King, all the players can do now is try to defeat him before they lose their Ultimate Reward. The Ultimate Reward allows the players to create a new Universe frog, and live inside of it. Without it, they’ll be trapped in the Medium forever. (Barring shenanigans). 5 players will fight the Dersite Royalty and try to prove themselves worthy of the Ultimate Reward.



The Reckoning’s at hand.

The 5 survivors are ready.

Before the players can reach the Black King, they are intercepted by the Black Queen.



The Crowned Black Queen (500 hp, 110 power) targets the Page of Blood (68 hp, 125 power). A hit!

The Page of Blood’s Corpse (-42 hp, 125 power) is dead.

The Sylph of Void (64 hp, 141 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (500 hp, 110 power). The Sylph of Void (64 hp, 141 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Crowned Black Queen (500 hp, 110 power). They miss so hard the Crowned Black Queen (500 hp, 110 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The God Tier Mage of Rage (137 hp, 172 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (500 hp, 110 power). The attack manages to not hit anything too vital.

The Maid of Space (245 hp, 139 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (414 hp, 110 power). The Maid of Space (245 hp, 139 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Crowned Black Queen (414 hp, 110 power). They miss so hard the Crowned Black Queen (414 hp, 110 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The God Tier Thief of Time (95 hp, 781 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (414 hp, 110 power). The God Tier Thief of Time (95 hp, 781 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Crowned Black Queen (414 hp, 110 power). They miss so hard the Crowned Black Queen (414 hp, 110 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The Crowned Black Queen (414 hp, 110 power) targets the God Tier Mage of Rage (137 hp, 172 power). A hit!

The Sylph of Void (74 hp, 141 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (414 hp, 110 power). The attack manages to not hit anything too vital.

The God Tier Mage of Rage (27 hp, 172 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (344 hp, 110 power). The God Tier Mage of Rage (27 hp, 172 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Crowned Black Queen (344 hp, 110 power). They miss so hard the Crowned Black Queen (344 hp, 110 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The Maid of Space (255 hp, 139 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (344 hp, 110 power). The Maid of Space (255 hp, 139 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Crowned Black Queen (344 hp, 110 power). They miss so hard the Crowned Black Queen (344 hp, 110 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The God Tier Thief of Time (105 hp, 781 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (344 hp, 110 power). The God Tier Thief of Time (105 hp, 781 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Crowned Black Queen (344 hp, 110 power) They miss so hard the Crowned Black Queen (344 hp, 110 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The Crowned Black Queen (344 hp, 110 power) targets the God Tier Mage of Rage (37 hp, 172 power). A hit!

The God Tier Mage of Rage’s Corpse (-73 hp, 172 power) is dead.

The Sylph of Void (74 hp, 141 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (344 hp, 110 power). A hit!

The Maid of Space (265 hp, 139 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (203 hp, 110 power). The Maid of Space (265 hp, 139 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Crowned Black Queen (203 hp, 110 power). They miss so hard the Crowned Black Queen (203 hp, 110 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The God Tier Thief of Time (115 hp, 781 power) targets the Crowned Black Queen (203 hp, 110 power). Ouch. That’s gonna leave a mark.

The Crowned Black Queen (-1360 hp, 110 power) is dead.



The fight is over. Black Queen is dead.



Now that last hit was impressive.

Anyway, the Page is dead and the Mage is down for the count.

It is time for the final opponent, the Black King.

The Crowned Black King (1000 hp, 1060 power) targets the God Tier Thief of Time (115 hp, 901 power). A hit! The God Tier Thief of Time’s Corpse (-945 hp, 901 power) is dead.

The Sylph of Void (74 hp, 147 power) targets the Crowned Black King (1000 hp, 1060 power). The Sylph of Void (74 hp, 147 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Crowned Black King (1000 hp, 1060 power). They miss so hard the Crowned Black King (1000 hp, 1060 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in.

The Maid of Space (275 hp, 145 power) targets the Crowned Black King (1000 hp, 1060 power). The Maid of Space (275 hp, 145 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Crowned Black King (1000 hp, 1060 power). They miss so hard the Crowned Black King (1000 hp, 1060 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in. The fight is over. The players are dead.

Now that was fast.

The game abstraction of the Judgement Clock is ruling on the death of the God Tier Mage of Rage’s Corpse and God Tier Thief of Time’s Corpse. The God Tier Mage of Rage’s Corpse’s death is judged to be neither HEROIC nor JUST. They revive in a rainbow glow, stronger than ever.

The God Tier Thief of Time’s Corpse’s death is judged to be neither HEROIC nor JUST. They revive in a rainbow glow, stronger than ever.



Guess who’s back.

It is time for the final opponent, the Black King.



The Crowned Black King (1000 hp, 1060 power) targets the God Tier Mage of Rage (135 hp, 252 power). A hit!

The God Tier Mage of Rage’s Corpse (-925 hp, 252 power) is dead. The God Tier Thief of Time (93 hp, 981 power) targets the Crowned Black King (1000 hp, 1060 power). The God Tier Thief of Time (93 hp, 981 power) practically appears to be standing still as they clumsily lunge towards the Crowned Black King (1000 hp, 1060 power). They miss so hard the Crowned Black King (1000 hp, 1060 power) has plenty of time to get a counterattack in. The fight is over. The players are dead.

Whoops.

The game abstraction of the Judgement Clock is ruling on the death of the God Tier Mage of Rage’s Corpse and God Tier Thief of Time’s Corpse. The God Tier Mage of Rage’s Corpse’s death is judged to be neither HEROIC nor JUST. They revive in a rainbow glow, stronger than ever. The God Tier Thief of Time’s Corpse’s death is judged to be HEROIC. They do not revive.





It is time for the final opponent, the Black King.







The Crowned Black King (1000 hp, 1060 power) targets the God Tier Mage of Rage (135 hp, 292 power). A hit! The God Tier Mage of Rage’s Corpse (-925 hp, 292 power) is dead. The fight is over. The God Tier Mage of Rage’s Corpse is dead.

That was fast.

The game abstraction of the Judgement Clock is ruling on the death of the God Tier Mage of Rage’s Corpse. The God Tier Mage of Rage’s Corpse’s death is judged to be neither HEROIC nor JUST. They revive in a rainbow glow, stronger than ever.



Note: At this point, the fight turned into “King kills Mage, who resurrects moments later due to death not being a permanent one, rinse and repeat”.

The Mage resurrected six more times after that.

The Crowned Black King (1000 hp, 1060 power) targets the God Tier Mage of Rage (135 hp, 572 power). A hit! The God Tier Mage of Rage’s Corpse (-925 hp, 572 power) is dead. The fight is over. The God Tier Mage of Rage’s Corpse is dead.

Death number…Eight? Oh, right, ten.

The game abstraction of the Judgement Clock is ruling on the death of the God Tier Mage of Rage’s Corpse. The God Tier Mage of Rage’s Corpse’s death is judged to be HEROIC. They do not revive.



This one is permanent now.

0 players are alive.

The consorts and Carapacians both Prospitian and Dersite alike mourn their fallen heroes.



Fucking RIP.

The Sylph of Void died fighting the Black King.

The Mage of Rage died fighting the Black King It was HEROIC judgement.

The Maid of Space died fighting the Black King.

The Thief of Time died fighting the Black King It was HEROIC judgement.

The Page of Blood died fighting the Crowned Black Queen (500 hp, 110 power).

The Witch of Heart died fighting the Aphrodite Minion (50 hp, 50 power).

The players have failed. No new universe is created. Their home universe is left unfertilized.



Let’s stop for a second to mourn the fallen.

Game Over.

The MVP of the session was: God Tier Thief of Time’s Corpse with a power of: 1021.4

Thanks for Playing!



There’s nothing left to say now.