Today is Trump’s inauguration. I’ll be watching events in Washington through my fingers and wondering if I need a permit from the council to dig a bunker in my back garden.

(For reference I live in the ‘air-blast’ zone of a standard nuclear warhead should it strike central London, which is perhaps survivable in a decent bunker. See where you are and plot your survival here)

What is needed on a day like today is a little brevity, a little lightness – something to have a chuckle at as we rush headlong towards the Apocalypse.

(Fun fact: a drunk Richard Nixon ordered a nuclear strike on North Korea in the middle of the night, something that was only stopped by the intervention of Henry Kissinger. Does Trump have anyone on the level of Kissinger?

What we need, is a white, comedy rap album, preferably one that has interesting insights into the mindset of the Trumpers who got us here.

Pink Season by Pink Guy (the alter ego of YouTube comedian Filthy Frank) is that record. It’s a record I didn’t know we needed, but we do and I’ll explain why.

(Warning: this album is very crass, pretty stupid and uses racist and sexist language in places. It’s a satire but if that’s going to make it intolerable for you, fair enough.)

Its the first bit of music that I’m aware of that dosent just rail against the rise of the alt-right, those meme loving internet racists who claim to have put Trump in power, but understands them and uses that understanding to take the piss mercilessly.

The record hits their key political notes (racism, hatred of women & gays, conspiracy theories) but also tackles the topics that pervade the places they hang out online (school shootings, Japanese porn, paedophilia) ending up a well rounded (and funny) critique of these 14-30 year old white males who make up the Trump bloc.

Before we get to the ‘subtle’ stuff though, if you just want a straight-up assault on Trump and Trumpers check out ‘White is Right’ and ‘Gays 4 Donald’. Both jam along nicely and are hilarious. I particularly like the skewering of certain media pundits who use their minority status to promote hatred of other minorities in ‘Gays 4 Donald’.

As Star Wars taught us, it’s fear that leads to anger and Pink Season expresses the largely unacknowledged insecurities of the Trumper beautifully. It’s no coincidence that a large majority of the production is ripped from contemporary rap songs – racial anxiety runs through the entire album. In fact, when the production shifts to a more acoustic, ‘white’ indie it’s generally to mock the sensibilities of the left – see ‘Dog Festival Directions’.

Whether it’s demonstrating a total lack of understanding of life in ‘the hood’ on ‘I Do It For My Hood’ or setting the dullness of their lives to a trap beat on ‘Meme Machine’ there’s a sense of envy of what could be broadly called ‘black’ urban culture plus anxiety about being eclipsed culturally, and because we’re talking about young men, physically as well.

There are other issues addressed but this racial one feels like the most important and interesting. It’s crystallised in “Small Dick” the title of which rather speaks for itself. I’m going to paste the lyrics in below because I think they actually bear reading;

I have a small dick

I have a small dick

If you’re under nine inches you cannot pleasure women

hold up

hold up

hold up

I’ve got a small dick,

got a small dick

I bet you didn’t know about my small dick

I’m only seven inches

I’ve got a small dick, yeah

It’s so small that I piss on my balls

Its so small when it gets really cold, yeah

*my dick is only seven inches long and I’m ashamed yeah

if you’re under nine inches you should die*

If you’re under nine inches you cannot pleasure women

Size always matters

Black lives matter too, yeah

Thier dicks, are way bigger, yeah

They’re so athletic

I wish I could play basketball like a black man

I wish I could satisfy my girl like a black man

Black people look so cool in any outfit, bathing ape

I wish I could satisfy my girl like a black man

I wanna satisfy my girl like a black man

I wanna satisfy my girl like a black man

Only a black man can satisfy my girl

Not my seven inch dick, only that 20 inch dick

I only watch pornos with a black man

Now, there’s a lot of psycho-sexual angst in there but no more than you would find in the average thread on /b/ or r/redpill, r/uncencorednews or r/thedonald. It’s easy to over-egg the significance of what is a comedy song but, in the election where ‘cuck’ made the transition from a type of porn beloved of /b/ where a (usually white) man, watches a (usually black) man have sex with his wife, to a mainstream(ish) political insult; where a lot of us cannot understand the outpouring of rage and hate we’re seeing in the States – this rather silly record is making a statement about what is happening, really happening, with a force I have not seen matched anywhere else. Go listen.

Top Tracks

White is Right



Gays 4 Donald



Flex Like David Icke



Small Dick

