I masturbated as a child, like many children do, and didn’t learn the word for it until I was a beehive and given the “For the Strength of Youth” pamphlet. Realizing that I’d been doing something bad for as long as I could remember gave me a complex for years and years that bred shame and led to a problem with porn and more shame. I had to give very detailed accounts of the times I masturbated, kissed a boy or looked at porn. No bishop meeting was ever comfortable or spiritually uplifting for me.

When I was getting ready to go to the temple to get married I was given inappropriate advice in a bishops interview about how to use tampons and pads with my garments from my bishop at the time. I have a daughter now and I love the church and largely had a positive experience growing up as a member, but I don’t want her to have these meetings. I don’t want her to be ostracized if I don’t allow her to have these meetings and don’t want her to be ineligible for baptisms for the dead, etc. This needs to change. It’s damaging, doesn’t help people obey the law of chastity because the practice doesn’t engender feelings of love. Maybe there’s a rare bishop who is naturally good at counseling youth about sexuality, but in my experience few (actually none of them) were/are.

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