posted 4 years ago

It will come as a real shock to many motorists, but also as a breath of fresh air to some. The government and Legal Age Driving (LAD) have today voted in favour of putting a driving licence cap at the age of 75, which will come into effect as early as 2020. This will leave the elderly with 3 years to purchase a fully autonomous vehicle, or risk having to take public transport everywhere.

This will be the latest redundant effort by the government to meet the unachievable pollution standards set by the EU, for which we are constantly fined for. It is also extremely unlikely that there will be any repercussions to rush-hour traffic, as most people over the age of 75 are retired anyway, so your commute is likely to remain just as miserable.

Ralph Grenid, Head of LAD told us in an exclusive FaceTime interview: “Older drivers are far too careful on roads and rarely break laws, we just aren’t making enough money out of them”.

He added: “More importantly, have you seen the queues to get in the car park at Waitrose? It’s just not on, I often have to spend 4 or 5 minutes circling the car park just to find two neighbouring spaces to put my Range Rover in, and old people are to blame.”

There are a number of reasons why older drivers are a danger to other road users. Dwindling eyesight and ever-increasing reaction times being two of the most important, but also the fact that some younger road users have been bored to death behind the wheel after being caught behind a hesitant pensioner at a double roundabout.

The news comes just days after a whole host of LAD employees bought shares in various Autonomous Vehicle manufacturers, although Mr Grenid insists the two aren’t in any way related.

(In case it wasn't blatantly obvious, the above is a joke.)