Overall

Vision Vision

Originality Originality

Technique Technique

Impact Impact

Okay, I started and caught up with this whole comic in one day... and if I could only one thing, it would be this. "Moar..."Vision: They way you took this story, from it being a simple matter of Lyra wanting to know more about humans, to the introduction of the CyberPonies and the horror aspect of "The Games" has been one successful transition to the next. I still go back to re-read the page with the song lyrics filling in along with the panels. Again, the way you did that panel. Brilliant.Now, for this panel. It is remarkable how far you've come as an artist and a story teller. I gathered that this was a flashback, and I honestly can't wait to see what happens next. Your vision for story telling is something to be admired, and I hope you continue to keep up the fantastic work.Originality: The overall design of the story is unlike any I've seen before. Of course, the Derpy and Doctor Whooves pairing is a favored one by far (my personal favorite too), but I don't know if a Lyra Heartstrings and Dr. Whooves pairing has ever been considered before! And with the way they interact, him being post-humanoid and her obsession with humans, I'm honestly surprised no one's ever thought of it before!This panel. Seeing Derpy making a wish upon a star is a beautiful sight, and I personally felt like she was wishing for the Doctor. That's how I perceived it. The meteorite turning into the Tardis gave me a "Whoa...." moment. Again, it's incredible how far you've come with your artistic talentTechnique: I don't know if I've told you this yet, but your artistic talent has improved soooo much since you first started. It really is stunning, the difference in your first panels of the comic, and ones like this one. The serenity of the night and aspects like the torch lamp and the stars really do give me a sense of warmth, despite it feeling like a pleasant cool night. The sleekness in the lines and the depth of the shading and the glow of the fire are all dazzling in contrast to the night like atmosphere. I particularly like the crash sight of the Tardis panel, with the faint dust cloud and the position of the crash sight. A panel that just make you want to say, "AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!"Impact: The delivery of this comic is so precisely timed and well delivered, it literally gave me chills at some points. My favorite moments were between Lyra and Iron Will. The flashbacks of how Iron Will came to be a motivational speaker threw me for a loop. I love how you portrayed him as both the hard-fisted talker and a big softy. Quite a beautiful combination. Seeing him grow up as the odd-one-out almost brought tears to my eyes, but the impact of him befriending the chubby kid and further helping him to win the Mare he longed for was very touching indeed. It hit even harder that even though he could boost his friends courage, he couldn't successfully win over the girl he liked. That particular moment instantly connected with readers of all sorts, for I'm sure a vast majority of people have been through a similar situation as Iron Will. Key points like that are what makes this comic so great. You know what people have been through, and with this comic you can connect to those people, making them want to read on and on. You've hit a real powerful point in being an author, and I believe you could even go farther (I'm not an author myself so I don't have any tips for you there ^_^; I'm just an artist who likes to read).As for this panel, the impact of the memories with Derpy help bring back sense of hope to the readers. Seeing the Doctor's Tardis crash land on the outskirts of Ponyville through Derpy's eyes gives the reader a sense of Nostalgia as well. A nice, happy memory in the midst of the bloodshed gives the reader a bit of a break from the hard driven story line, a great snippet for this particular place in the story.There's my critique! I hope it was helpful and I hope you keep up the great work, This is one of my favorite Web Comics as of today!