Welcome to the Dangerous Faggot Tour! My name is Milo Yiannopoulos, but tonight you can call me “Mrs. Claws.” That’s claws like a Tiger, not Claus as in Santa. Santa and I have a complicated relationship… let’s leave it at that.

I am the supervillain of the Internet, and I am also the ghost of Christmas come. It’s different than the ghost of Christmas future…. We had a thing, but it didn’t work out.

Most of you won’t be aware of this, but I’ve recently become a feminist icon! I’ve just come from the University of Wisconsin Milwaukee, where I made women on campus a little bit safer. I’ve rid their bathrooms of a dude in a dress!

During my talk there, I drew attention to the case of Justine Kramer, a so-called transwoman who used Title IX laws to force his way into women’s locker rooms. Legislation created to protect women is now used to put men in their restrooms.

Now, Justine Kramer is apparently upset, because I used his old name instead of his new fake one, Adelaide. And he’s quitting the university! Well, on behalf of the women at UWM, bye!

And if you think I’m being mean, consider what Justine did to get himself into the women’s locker room. Sued. In other words, did what all progressives do to insinuate themselves where they are not wanted: call on the ultimate patriarchal authority of the state.

I was accused by Justine in news reports today of “violent” speech, as though such a thing could ever occur. I mean honestly. If you can’t take a joke, how are you going to cope with getting your dick chopped off?

Anyway, anyway. Christmas is next week, can you believe it? Maybe you have finals before winter break. I’m sure there would be more protesters here today but they are all trying to finish their term paper: “Why all white men are literally Hitler”. They all independently arrived at the same title, it’s amazing!

I’m very happy that we were all able to come here today, you know that at one point it was questionable if the Dangerous Faggot tour would make it to Mankato, right? Your school, Minnesota State University, tried to join a growing wave of universities trying to force cancellations of my tour stops by burdening student groups with high security fees.

They don’t have the balls to cancel shows themselves and expose their repressive anti-free speech nature, so they get creative and attempt to make the events cost prohibitive.

It’s true, I’m not a cheap date. But that’s my personal life! My tour doesn’t charge an appearance fee, and I won’t let cowardly university administrations try to shut down my events with surprise costs for students. When it happens, we name them and shame them, and most universities, like Minnesota State, come to their senses.

Do I look dangerous to you?

And no one needs security from the students in this room, who are hard working, law abiding — at least most of the time — and studying actual useful topics like engineering, not gender studies.

Do you think they had a prayer of keeping me away from MSU? Your town has MAN in the name, I was destined to come here.

Still, I’m told by student organizers that Minnesota isn’t quite as bad as some other places. You have a good, free-speech friendly president here, Richard Davenport, who I’m told worked hard to make this event happen. Well, good for him — he’s saved Minnesota State from going the way of the University of Missouri.

Minnesota was in the news again last week involving that OTHER school I spoke at… University of Minnesota. It turns out web ads they purchased ended up on Breitbart.com. It wasn’t an ad specifically placed on Breitbart, it was just served up by Google — but liberals went nuts.

The school received a quote “small but vociferous” email campaign from students and alumni upset that the University of Minnesota would advertise on Breitbart. I’m sure the emails were in all caps and included lots of typos as their authors typed through real tears.

The key point is that the campaign was small, because there aren’t really that many social justice warriors, but that it was vociferous and above all else, worked. U of M pulled the ads.

They pulled their ads because they agree with the campus crybabies, they think conservatives are horrific and distasteful.

The ads the University of Minnesota pulled were to sell tickets for sporting events. Who do you think goes to sports events? The 45 million readers of Breitbart? Or bitter lesbian vegans commenting on toxic masculinity at Gizmodo and the Huffington Post?

When did “The customer is always right” become “The customer is always a bigoted hate-filled Nazi misogynist”?

Sooner or later advertisers will remember to think with their pocketbooks instead of their politics. Conservatives are a huge market, and no company selling to the broad marketplace should purposefully piss them off. Just look what happened to Kellogg’s! Stock price hit, online reputation irrecoverable… it really doesn’t pay to pick a fight with Breitbart. Or with the dangerous faggot.

Lots of Breitbart fans have sworn off their cereals, and some are already losing weight. Because after all cereal is just gross sugary crap for fat people.

Advertisers… Conservatives ARE your market… I’m sorry you lost the election and your globalist agenda, but you can still love your customers.

But come, let’s speak of happier things. I’d like to start off the main portion of this evening’s talk with a simple phrase. One you’re not supposed to say in America any more in polite society.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

To many liberals, that is the most triggering thing I’ve said on my entire tour…. And I’ve said some seriously triggering things about feminists, lesbians, hate crime hoaxers, (those last three ar the same), Muslims, cyclists, Democrats, the obese, cross-dressers… you name it

Donald Trump has made no bones about liking the phrase Merry Christmas, he said it in front of Christmas Trees as part of his victory tour.

Contrast this with President Obama, whose traditional presidential Christmas cards don’t even say Christmas on them this year.

President Obama is also only the fourth President to have his own picture on the Christmas card. The previous ones are Herbert Hoover, FDR, and Bill & Hillary Clinton.

It figures that Obama and Hillary would be two of the most egotistical people in what is already, let’s be honest, a pretty ego-driven job.

If Hillary had won the presidency, her Christmas card would be her and her entire medical staff. All 58 of them.

They take the picture from a helicopter to get the whole group in, and somehow Bill still wouldn’t be in the picture.

As recently as a few years ago, I thought the war on Christmas was a big joke. I thought Christians were looking for things to complain about so they could get attention.

Some of their tactics seemed similar to what we see today from social justice warriors. Honestly, to me, Christians complaining about the war on Christmas were just social Jesus warriors.

But then I looked around, and realized the war on Christmas is real, and Christians are losing. In their rush to placate everyone and offend no one — and in particular to pander to Islam — the left wants to shut down Christianity.

From the liberal reaction to Christmas, you’d think Santa and his reindeer took down the twin towers.

Or maybe it was Christmas shoppers who attacked non-believers with a knife in a Minnesota mall.

Just kidding, those were all Muslims. The exact people the left is trying to placate. They honestly believe if they grovel hard enough, they won’t be murdered.

They also believe if they squeeze their eyes hard enough and say magic words, Tinkerbell will make Hillary Clinton President, so I guess it isn’t a leap to think the Muslims will someday love them if only they hug hard enough.

Bad news, ladies: that’s not a boner, it’s a bomb.

Just like feminism and identity politics, the left has concentrated its efforts on the young. An annual poll by the Public Religion Research Institute shows that 66% of Americans under 30 support saying Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas. Only 39% of those over 65 feel that way.

Old people know our country is in trouble, besides the Christmas thing. But when they tell kids to get off their lawn these days the kids reply the lawn is the property of Native-Americans and was stolen by the white man.

The war on Christmas continues unabated. It is all about the only concept held sacred by the secular left — diversity. Anything that promotes or supports Diversity is good, anything that is not inclusive or supportive of diversity is bad.

In the minds of a liberal, someone who isn’t Christian might be offended if we say Merry Christmas to them, so we shouldn’t say Merry Christmas to anyone. The logic is bizarre!

I think the problem is that most leftists only know people like themselves. Miserable atheists who don’t believe in anything except authoritarian control of speech and thought by the government.

I know all sorts of people. Do you know what happens if I say Merry Christmas to a Jewish friend? To the sounds of any alt-righters in the room choking on their egg-nog, the Jew will most likely say “Thanks, you too” or they might say “Oh, I’m Jewish”.

At which point like any sane person I say “Happy Hanukkah”. The same thing with a Chinese person! Half my dates celebrate Kwanzaa, obviously, but I’d still tell them Merry Christmas.

This is how normal people operate in social sitations.

The only people who don’t celebrate Christmas and can’t mentally process “Merry Christmas” into “Happy Sunday” are people looking to be offended. The people who are itching to say “excuse me????”

What the secular soulless left fails to understand is that most people aren’t as eager to take offense as they are. In fact, lots of non-christians around the world celebrate Christmas too. Because who doesn’t like exchanging presents? OK, I’ll admit it… I prefer to receive.

Well, of course.

The typical government drone intent on shutting down Christmas would be terribly triggered by visiting Hong Kong this time of year. Hong Kong is a city of many religions like Buddhism, confucianism, Kung Pao-ism, chicken chow mein-ism…. Ok I made some of those up. But they have lots of Christmas displays with trees and angels and everything we’re used to surrounding the holiday.

Most Hong Kong citizens have never seen snow, but it is part of their decorations as well. Why aren’t they as offended by Christmas as American leftists are? Because they recognize Christmas is joyful and loads of fun. They put substance above diversity, just like we should.

Leftists wage the war on Christmas using their traditional methods- government fiat and the court system. They never win voting, and they certainly don’t win in the free market, so they bravely fight their battles through big government.

Every year the Becket Fund for Religious Liberty hands out the Ebenezer award for the most insane government attack on Christmas and Hanukkah. A few recent winners are real eye-openers.

The 2015 winner is the Department of Veteran Affairs for banning employees from saying Merry Christmas to vets. They probably think non-christian employees who hear that deserve combat pay! They also banned singing Christmas carols in public spaces.

I understand employees were able to whisper Merry Christmas, and they could play holiday music as long as it wasn’t too Christian.

Don’t the vets deserve a little bit better? Is diversity really worth it? These are simple questions to anyone that doesn’t work for the government.

The 2012 award went to Governor Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island. He had renamed the state’s Christmas Tree to be the official “Holiday Tree” of Rhode Island. In 2011 he was embarrassed when people gathered at the tree lighting ceremony and sang “Oh Christmas Tree”, so in 2012 he gave only 30 minutes notice for the timing of the tree-lighting.

He sure showed those pesky Christmas Carollers!

Note that the 2012 winner narrowly beat out the City of Santa Monica which shut down a nativity scene that had been displayed for more than 50 years. Can you imagine? 50 years, but it suddenly wasn’t good enough for Santa Monica. Residents got around that action by staging a live nativity performance — luckily Christians can be very inventive.

What will win the award this year? Unfortunately there are more and more attacks on Christianity all the time. I was just over in Indiana, and now a tiny town called Knightstown has removed a cross from their Christmas tree to avoid fighting the ACLU.

If anyone still thinks the war on Christmas isn’t real I invite you to explain to the residents of Knightstown why the ACLU threatened them with a lawsuit.

It is like Memories Pizza but even crazier. But that’s enough about pizza, I don’t want to get myself in trouble.

One example of Christians fighting back in the war on Christmas came up last year with Starbucks cups. To many of you this was a literal tempest in a teapot, but it was still important.

Last year Starbucks ditched its traditional red cups with Christmas themed designs in favor of a plain red cup. Christians on social media were outraged. A lot of them boycotted Starbucks over it.

Starbucks was simply trying to follow their hyper-liberal values of not offending ANYONE and embracing DIVERSITY. The fact is, Starbucks capitalizes on Christmas with a Christmas coffee blend, Christmas tree ornaments, and all sorts of other touches.

They don’t hate Christmas, they just want everyone else to love them. But when Christmas is under siege, it sends a very different message to Christians.

At least when Starbucks made their move, they kept it lowkey. Braver leftists would have thrown Islamic religious symbols onto the cup, since Islam is the religion of peace and how we should all live our lives.

That kind of move always backfires, of course — there would be a fatwa issued against them for violating an obscure rule in Sharia that Islamic symbols must never be placed on cups, and we’d have loads of Oregonian lesbian baristas with dreadlocks getting their throats cut.

Maybe not so bad, I don’t know.

This year, Starbucks learned their lesson to a certain extent. They have their red cups with various Christmas themed designs created by Starbucks customers.

Starbucks was a win for Christians. Since coffee is part of the free market instead of the government, they were forced to listen to their customers.

Christmas and Christianity are worth fighting for. I like to say Catholics are right about everything, but in the same way that a Christmas family gathering includes your cousins who are a bit slow, I will include Protestants in this discussion as well.

There are so many things that we owe the religion as a debt of gratitude, I can’t listen many of them without this turning into a pep rally for Jesus and his Apostles.

Thinks about some of the things Christianity brought to western civilization:

In the twelfth century marriage came to be counted as a sacrament by the catholic church. As a sacrament, it does not require a priest, only the agreement of the man and woman, which is the greatest protection ever given to women in a system of marriage: by the Church’s argument, women cannot be married against their will, they and their bridegrooms must both say, “I do.”

Think about that ladies — without the catholic church getting smart hundreds of years ago, you’d be married off to the highest bidder by your family. Which is one of my personal fantasies, but I realise other people have different views.

In the Islamic word girls are married off as little girls in some cases, and share a husband with other women in others. And once you are married, heaven forbid you bring shame to your husband by, say, getting raped, or you might get caned, stoned, or suffer an honor killing.

Even if we strongly dislike women’s studies departments, we should all be thankful that they don’t involve classes on proper burka maintenance. And that is due to the Catholic church. You’re welcome, feminists!

This one is ironic — the education system is one of the most anti-Christian parts of America, but it began life as largely a Christian endeavor.

The first law in America to require general education was called “The Old Deluder Satan Act” to teach children to read the Bible in 1647.

122 of the first 123 colleges in America were christian universities. Think about Harvard University, one of the epicenters of liberalism today. This is the founding statement of Harvard:

Let every student be plainly instructed, and earnestly pressed to consider well, the maine end of his life and studies is, to know God and Jesus Christ which is eternal life, John 17:3?

That statement would have today’s students shaking and crying and demanding a safe space!

Today many of these universities have become like DePaul in Chicago… catholic in name only…. But nevertheless America owes higher education and education in general to the Christian tradition.

Western science developed in the way that it did because Catholics believe God created everything–which means it is all worth contemplating as the work of the Creator. They were not looking for the watchmaker, as some seventeenth and eighteenth century philosophers put it, but for the structure of the whole as a revelation of their Maker.

Without Catholicism science would look completely different. And keep in mind if you want to point out the science that came out of Islam that most of those scientists were in captured territories. They were Christians, Jews, and people from dozens of other cultures subjugated under Islam. Sort of like western Europe today!

No lecture on Christmas would be complete without at least one bible quote. And here it is, Galatians 3:28

There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

The bible is arguing against the identity politics that has gripped western civilization in the last few decades. Identity doesn’t matter, because we are all human beings. The most vibrant places on earth for the catholic church are in South America, Africa, and even China. Hardly what you’d expect from a religion painted by the left as evil and white.

This last one is especially ironic. Who’d ever think that the Catholic church practiced what so many on the left use to fight Christianity today? But the fact is, it is there! The Catholic church was always held separate from countries and the kings that ruled them.

It is true that Emperors and Kings had to answer to the Pope, but the pope didn’t always win.

Philip IV’s humiliation of Pope Boniface VIII is a good example of that. An episode of history with which I know you will all be intimately familiar.

But the important thing is that the church was separate from the country. Protestants changed all that, leaving the religion of a land up to its rulers. This mingling of government and religion had a predictable result- it worked about as well as Obamacare.

Catholics are also right about birth control and abortion. And capitalism would have been impossible without Christianity. But I’ll leave you to Google those to annoy your thin-skinned atheist friends.

Besides Christianity and specifically Catholicism being wonderful, Christmas is intrinsic to American culture and worth defending.

Think of what happens at Christmas time. People play Mariah Carey Christmas songs…. What else do you need in life?

But seriously, there is so much joy. We eat a lot, we drink a lot. We make peace with family to whatever extent is possible on this Earth, after all none of us are saints right?

We buy all sorts of things for those we care about, many of which will be hated and returned so those people can get something they actually want. But it is after all the thought that counts, right?

Western Europe has to a great extent separated itself from the Christian underpinnings of its culture, and you are seeing the results on the news every day. America has not done so yet. Christmas is worth defending because America is worth defending.

As much as the left hates free speech, what drives them up a wall more than every Dangerous Faggot Tour stop combined is the continuing existence of family values and the capitalistic holiday of Christmas. So make sure you have fun this Christmas, it pisses off your neighborhood campus crybaby. It is even more fun if there is one in your family!

What would Christmas be without mistletoe? A lot more boring, that’s what. Naturally, everyone’s favorite killjoys would very much like for it to disappear.

My god, they’re such miserable cunts!

Valentine’s day is of course the more well-known day of celebration for all things romantic, but I think Christmas is actually more fun. It’s the season of christmas office parties and mistletoe balls, when everyone gets hammered and makes out with that one cutie they’ve been eyeing all year … or has a train run on them by six drug dealers on the way home, in my case.

Everyone’s idea of romance is different!

In an era when feminists are working tirelessly to ensure both genders are terrified of coming within 10 feet of each other — women, because they’re afraid of “rape culture,” and men, because they’re afraid of false rape accusations — Christmas is needed more than ever.

Americans spend lots of money on Christmas. It is a big part of the economy. The left likes to pretend there is some kind of problem with this, but it’s totally cool with Jesus.

Think about the lessons from Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol”. Unlike the entertainments of today, where rich Hollywood liberals bellyache about rich Americans being evil, Ebenezer Scrooge isn’t the bad guy because he makes good money.

He is the bad guy because he lives a joyless and miserly existence, and doesn’t treat his employees well. Dickens’ issue with Scrooge isn’t that he made a lot of money, it is that he didn’t use any of it for charity and to help his fellow man.

Think about all of the good Scrooge does after he realizes the errors of his ways. None of them would be possible for a poor man. He pays for Tiny Tim’s medical treatment, he donates to charity, and he treats his employees better.

He already had wealth thanks to capitalism, he merely added some charity and virtue to go with his money.

I’m a firm believer in the prosperity gospel … How else to explain Milo Yiannopoulos?

We know that in general conservatives who favor capitalism are more charitably generous than liberals who favor a big government.

Capitalism encourages charity, while socialism discourages it. Once charity happens in the form of taxation, it turns us all into Scrooge.

From black Friday through the last shipping day from Amazon, which is a very important day for young people who seem to forget you can purchase presents in person instead of having them shipped, Christmas is a vital part of America’s capitalist culture.

I’d like to give all of you homework, I’m sure that’s what you wanted for Christmas from Uncle Milo isn’t it? The assignment is to read the new piece by David French in National Review titled “Why is so much media coverage of religion so dumb?”

This is an amazing article that truly gives you insight into the War on Christmas. The media has certainly been a part of that war for decades, they’re the real Grinch who stole Christmas.

French points out the most basic problem about the media is that they don’t believe what religious people say. Christians aren’t against gay marriage because of what the Bible says, but because they are bigots. Jihadists aren’t committing acts of terror in the name of Islam as they claim, they are terrorists because of bigoted Christians… along with all other westerners.

The second problem is that the media assigns the failings of the individual to the religion as a whole. A sinner doesn’t make the whole religion corrupt. Why are you all staring at me???

Yes, I admit it, I am a sinner, but all people sin, we are human and God knows that. Even corrupt religious leaders do not somehow make the religion wrong. Jesus overturned the money changer’s tables in the Temple, he didn’t burn the temple down.

Thirdly, reporters think they can do a Google search or worse yet pull up Wikipedia and become fully versed on a religious concept. This results in amazingly stupid analyses of topics they have not the slightest clue about. In other words, it becomes the typical fake news we’re all used to.

I must share a final bit of David French’s article. It is so good I am going to include the whole quote. If David is listening, and if he isn’t he should be, thank you for shining a light on why the press does such a bad job with religion.

“Finally, in spite of the enormous diversity of human experience, there are still those (even in the ranks of reporters and pundits) who believe that all religions basically teach the same things. Experience with Evangelicals and jihadists most clearly shows the distinctions. Evangelicals represent one of America’s most generous and charitable communities. But for Mormons, they’d be the most generous. Christians follow a God who gave his life on a cross. Jihadists follow a warlord, and they’re generous mainly with the sword.”

This sums it up. Our media, cultural elite, and educators don’t understand Christianity and have no interest in doing so. THAT is why we must fight them.

We know we can beat them, we already have. We don’t even need Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer to guide the way!

There is plenty to worry about in America today, whether it is Somalis who grew up here in Minnesota but now fight for ISIS, or what will happen with President Trump’s many campaign promises.

Thank you for listening, and on with the festivities!

Written from prepared remarks.