I’m all for enforcing the rule of law — no matter how unconstitutional a law may be — but after hearing Virginia governor Ralph Northam warn that Second Amendment sanctuaries could face serious consequences for failing to enforce gun laws, my non-binary vegan six year old turned to me and asked:

“Why isn’t Democratic Governor Northam enforcing immigration law with the same gusto?‬ This past March he vetoed Virginia Senate Bill 1156, which would have prevented municipalities from restricting the enforcement of federal immigration laws.‬”

(My child is advanced.)

‪I replied that SB 1156 was a racist bill, and that Governor Northam would certainly never choose to do anything that could be remotely construed as racist.

“But what about that med school yearbook photo?” ze asked. “You know, the one of Governor Northam in blackface, standing next to a member of the Ku Klux Klan?”

Virginia Governor Ralph Northam’s yearbook page

I patiently explained that Ralph Northam could NOT have been the individual ze was referring to, because despite the false narrative being pushed by right-wing conspiracy theorists, Governor Northam only ever wears blackface when he cosplays as Michael Jackson. And the persyn in the yearbook photo clearly was not dressed like Michael Jackson.

Still, my inquisitive child was not satisfied, and ze demanded to know why Northam would have apologized for appearing in the photo if he hadn’t actually been in it. At which point I reminded my child that there was a second persyn in that photograph.

Part of being a parent is being prepared to answer questions. Most of us would feel perfectly comfortable explaining to our children why it is acceptable for our Somalian neighbor to advocate violence against Jews and publicity beat his wife, or why Malestia Child showed up to story hour with only a rainbow sock to cover her femxle penis. But sometimes kids ask tough questions. And then one must always be prepared to answer: racism.

To be perfectly honest, I don’t know why Ralph Northam believes some laws should be enforced over others. But TV man says mass immigration good, guns bad, and that narrative is fine by me.

MS-13 has yet to establish much of a presence within our gated community anyway, and if we could only keep them from legally purchasing machetes and fully-automatic weapons, our shopping malls would be safe once again.