Tick … tick. …

Blankenship has his own swamp eradication line and it is, at least, unique. He says Republicans can drain the you-know-what by getting rid of Mitch McConnell, who he now refers to as “Cocaine Mitch.”

Say what? Well, here’s how he got there: McConnell’s wife, Elaine Chao, is the secretary of transportation. Her father, James, an American citizen who Blankenship refers to as “a wealthy Chinaperson,” is in the shipping business. Several years ago there was a report that cocaine had been found in one of the ships that belonged to James Chao’s company. In this political climate, that barely qualifies as an interesting factoid. But hey, “Cocaine Mitch” is a heck of an attention-getter.

The winner of this battle of the giants gets to run against Senator Joe Manchin, one of the most threatened red state Democrats. Another is Joe Donnelly of Indiana. In 2012, Donnelly ran against veteran Republican Senator Richard Lugar in what was a super-long shot. Until primary voters dumped Lugar for a candidate who will always be remembered as the Guy Who Said God Wanted Rape Victims to Get Pregnant.

This time, none of the Indiana contenders appears to be particularly crazy, all things considered. One is a wealthy businessman without any history of coal mine disasters. The other two are current members of Congress, who people are apparently having some trouble telling apart.

During a recent debate, each candidate tried to prove he was the most like Donald Trump. Representative Todd Rokita, who had the bad luck to refer to Trump as “vulgar” when he was supporting Marco Rubio in 2016, is now desperately running ads promising to help the president drain the swamp.

And then there’s Representative Luke Messer. A good way to remember him is that Messer keeps bragging that he’s working to get Donald Trump nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize.

Pop Quiz: Last year, the highlight of a drive to get Trump the peace prize occurred when:

A) The president insisted the International Campaign to Abolish Nuclear Weapons was more deserving.

B) He quietly lobbied to get his tweets in the literature category.