Don't let Republicans see this picture.

Don't let Republicans see this picture.

Remember how the first thing Barack Obama did when he became president—after making Kenyan Islamic socialism the law of the land, that is—was to invent the teleprompter, because until then, no president had ever given a speech using prepared remarks? And, as Republicans have explained to us countless times, there is absolutely no sin greater, or more impeachable, than the president reading a speech off a teleprompter. Before she was chased out of the Republican primary by Rick "Oops" Perry, Michele Bachmann promised that if she were president, she'd never use a teleprompter because that's exactly what Americans want in a leader—an off-the-cuff riffer. Because nothing could ever go wrong with that.

Which means that if Mitt Romney wins tomorrow [pause for laughter], Republicans will no doubt draw up the articles of impeachment ASAP because:



Romney has been relying more and more on teleprompters in recent days as he swoops in and out of the battleground states delivering a scripted closing argument. [...] And he is relying on a written script to deliver the words just right; at five of his seven rallies since the Wisconsin speech, Romney has read from teleprompters.

Romney’s aides said the candidate would keep using teleprompters on the home stretch because his closing argument speech is new and he wants to achieve precision and accuracy as he lays out his fresh message. “We don’t have a problem with teleprompters,” one aide said.

But even his new teleprompters haven’t kept Romney from making small mistakes. The candidate, his voice sounding tired and a bit hoarse from long days of barnstorming, said “employment” instead of his intended “unemployment” at his Saturday morning rally in Des Moines.

Sure, Romney may have made fun of the president for using prepared remarks in the past. And sure, John Archer, the Iowa Republican who introduced Romney at a rally on Sunday morning may have made a teleprompter joke without realizing that "the twin teleprompters erected at both sides of the podium had been set up for his own party’s nominee," but, see, it's different for Romney now because his campaign is suddenly concerned with [pause for more laughter] "accuracy":Too bad for Romney that even when reading off a teleprompter, he still struggles with that whole accuracy thing:Employment, unemployment—eh, whatever. In two days, Mitt can take his teleprompter and shove it up his car elevator shaft.

Please give the president a boost by donating to help him close strong in the final day of this campaign.