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What Was Said When Newcastle Keeper Rob Elliot Walked Into A Club Last Night And I Spoke To Him…

I’ve only ever written for the Mag once before back in the days when it was printed (it feels strange to say that now doesn’t it?!).

However, I felt that a conversation I had last night is worth sharing.

Before I start I think it’s fair to say, as we all know, that the club is being run as a vehicle to promote Sports Direct. In my opinion Pardew is the club’s sole mouthpiece to lower fan expectations so that we’re happy with our lot of being a mid-table side with no ambition to kick on, go on cup runs etc etc.

You know what? It’s worked. Over the last 3 years the fans have, are currently and will continue to listen to the rubbish that streams out of his mouth on a daily basis, and it’s gotten to the stage where he puts our great club down so much that some of his players lap it up too.

But I digress!

I was in a club last night and I saw Rob Elliot walk in. I couldn’t help but go over to talk to him to gauge the feeling in the NUFC dressing room at the moment. All I can say is that you can tell he’s currently playing for Alan Pardew! (I’ll get to that in a bit)

To begin with he was quite nice and agreed we’d been playing poorly and promised the players are trying their hardest to turn it all around. I laughed and said ‘how can we expect that? We’ve lost 11 out of our last 16 games and I see no signs of it turning around. ‘

Elliot then said, well the fans need to stay with us and at the minute they’re turning after a few bad results, which is unfair on Pardew as he’s doing a great job under difficult circumstances. He seemed to forget that we’ve been awful for months, not just 4 games. He was having none of it and bleated on about work rate and other things that apparently help you win football matches (yes, because it’s working at the moment, eh?).

I proceeded to tell him that we’ve never came back to win a game when trailing at half-time under Pardew. He got aggressive and barked that it was “total lies.” I pushed him on this remark and asked him when was the last time we won from a losing position at half-time? He told me they had done it with Pardew at Charlton!!!

We talked more about how we could counter this run of form and I asked why Ben Arfa wasn’t in the side. I think we all know that Pardew can’t get the best out of the lad and he’s being wasted at Newcastle.

Of course I’m wrong, according to Pards and Elliot. Elliot lambasted Ben Arfa by saying he’s only set up, at most, 3 goals this season and that HBA has been SOLELY responsible for 7-8 goals that we’ve conceded this season. According to Elliot the players hate him as he has no work rate and that he hasn’t the right attitude. If that’s true I can understand why, when he’s told to defend rather than attack…

I told Eliott that the last time we scored a goal was due to the work of Ben Arfa. Yes, he replied, but he has no work rate.

I kept telling him that this was Pardew rhetoric coming out of his mouth and that he’s been brainwashed. It truly was like having a conversation with a Pardew drone.

I left him with one last thing:

I told him that I believe Pardew to be a charlatan that’s scared to play football and he’s ruined the best squad we’ve had in 10 years. I said a real manager with attacking intent would get the best out of our players. Somebody like, Keegan.

He then proceeded to tell me that Keegan is a worse manager than Pardew and had no respect from the players. I raged at this point and had to push him on the fact that Keegan made the Newcastle fans BELIEVE in ourselves and showed us how great Newcastle United can truly be.

His argument was that the Newcastle fans think they deserve to be in the Champions League by rights and we need to know our level. I disagreed.

‘Where should we be then?’ he asked.

I replied that just a bit of fight, belief and trying to play games with attacking intent could secure a higher PL finish than we’ll ever achieve with cowardly football and tactics.

‘Na’, he says. ‘8th or 9th is our level.’

There you have it. Newcastle should be happy with our lot. If you seriously think we’re going to kick on under this manager and this regime. Think again.