Does the government shutdown just make you want to run and get under the covers? Hey, us too! Here are 12 reasons why negotiating between the sheets is better than across the aisle!

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You might get paid after sex. WWII vets never engaged in civil disobedience to end sex. You can still watch the Panda Cam during sex. Z burger never reneged on its promise of free burgers during sex. It takes fewer than 15 days to negotiate sex with Congress. Sex has never been initiated by Ted Cruz reading ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ to a room full of old white guys. Your family and friends from back home don’t call you daily to ask you to explain what sex is and why it’s happening. Sex usually does not include a lengthy debate over any “medical device.” Nobody will stop you from watching Old Faithful erupt during sex. Ending sex doesn’t necessarily require concessions to a Boehner (or does it?). With sex, Bob Corker can “spike the football.” Sarah Palin never took undue credit for sex rallies.

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