When I originally started this blog I wanted it to be something I could use once I have achieved my Personal Trainer Certification. Just fun way to give tips and advice to others who may want it.

Now it seems like it’s going to have a little bit of a different purpose. I will let you know right now, that I when I write, I write a lot. I’m a very quiet person, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have a lot to say. So this will be long. And it will be incredibly detailed, because I remember details like crazy. This is going to be open and honest and you will see some pictures that might make you slightly queezy. So this is your fair warning.

I think I just want to be in charge of what people know. I would rather them hear the story from me, then through a friend of a friend. Not for any other reason but that things do get misconstrued. I would just like to provide a legitimate source of information for those of you who are curious.

What Happened?

I unfortunately fell off my pole. What makes me so angry about it is the fact that I fell off doing a move I’ve done countless times before. It was a move I was perfectly comfortable with. I never expected it. I cannot find a rational reason for what happened. I was inverted in an Ayesha and my top hand just completely gave way. My pole was warm and sticky, I had grip on, my arm didn’t have a muscle spasm. My grip just disappeared. Time almost felt like it stopped for a second. I remember looking at the floor and thinking this wasn’t good. My neck was positioned as if you were looking up at the sky naturally. I remember tucking my chin to my chest and trying to land flat. But I had rounded my back by tucking my chin in and when I landed on my lower back I heard and crack and felt this terrible pain.

I screamed. And thankfully my mom was home at the time, so she ran up the stairs and dialed 911. I had somehow slightly landed on the left side of my low back and I’d managed to roll onto my left side and hold myself stable with my right arm as I extended my left arm straight out and up. It was the only thing that even some what eased the pain. I was really scared. Because I couldn’t move my legs from my hips to my knees. I was stuck in a semi-fetal position on my left side on the floor with my knees almost bunched up to my stomach. But to matter how hard I tried I couldn’t straighten my legs at my hips and I remember it being a horrible feeling when I did try to move them. But then I wiggled my big toe first because I was a little frightened, but the second I felt it move I started wiggling my feet, and everything from my knees down moved just fine. Which relaxed me a little bit. I kept moving my feet and taking deep breaths.

The ambulance came and they had to move me to my back and get me to the ambulance. Once I was on my back I started experiencing waves of pain starting at my back and going through my entire body. It was like a sharp knife digging right into the middle of my spine and then I felt like my diaphragm was being stepped on by an elephant because there was so much pressure. Because I was having trouble breathing a few in the ambulance and they had to hook me up to oxygen until my body was stable enough.

I honestly don’t remember much of the ER. They did their best to keep me out of pain..and let me tell ya, they did a mighty fine job. But I do remember 2 distinct moments in the ER. The first moment was then I arrived for my CAT scan image. I was laying on a stretcher and I have to be moved to the CAT Scan Tray Table. I had one nurse in the room with me and she didn’t offer me ANY help in getting over. I remember I had to scoot centimeter by centimeter to try to make it through the pain that would go up my back. Putting any pressure on my feet to try and lift my hips was physically impossible. And it was the last part of what I had to do to get on this stupid tray. Somehow I got over there. They got me to lay flat which hurt even more. But I knew they needed me to sit still for the pictures so I stayed as still as I could while I followed their instructions.

I knew something was wrong when I fell. I know my body. And the second I could catch my breath I knew something was hurt. However I didn’t know how severe. I thought a pinched disk or nerve or something, all painful but manageable, but I never expected what they were gonna tell me. I remember them finishing the pictures and 5 nurses and techs came out and said “Ok Lindsey, you don’t need to do a thing we are going to slide you across the back board, on the count of three.” and I was just thinking to myself, Why now? What did you see?

I get back to my ER room and I’m sleeping on and off because of the pain meds. And then I remember the light coming on and my Dr. walking in and shutting the door. And he came over to me an asked how how I doing and he asked me questions and did a little check up and then he moved to my legs, and he’s like “So you can, actually feel me doing this?” As he is rubbing my leg, pinching my calf, rolling my ankles…and I said “Yeah” to all of it because I could. He kinda looked bewildered and then began to explain to us what had happened. He printed off a picture of my CAT scan for me to have and I’ve posted it below:

He explained to my mom and I that when I fell I landed on my lower Thoracic Vertebrae which compressed my first Lumbar causing a Burst Fracture which sends bone fragments through different parts of the spinal tissue, some of it being my spinal cord. He said he was very thankful, because if I had not tucked my head, I wouldn’t have been talking to him at that point. I would have been on a ventilator, or dead. He laid it out that bluntly. I’m not sure I said anything but I know I couldn’t stop staring at him. He admitted me and I was put on 100% bed rest, no food, no water, and I would get to meet the Neurosurgeon in the morning to decide what we were going to do.

I know my mom stayed till 8 Friday night. The nurse did come in about 10:00 pm and talked me. She said the Neuro Dr. hadn’t had a chance to come and meet me, but he saw my scans and booked my surgery for 9am the next morning, Saturday the 28th. That was the second moment that really stuck with me. When surgeon makes a scheduled surgery appointment for you without even meeting you first.

All night the nurse was in the check my vitals and to check my legs and how they felt and all that. They were very slowly getting more desensitized, but it was about 5 am at that point as well. I just tried to stay as relaxed as possible. I slept until 8:00am which is when they came to get me for Pre-op.

I met Dr. Nelson the morning on my surgery and he explained to me how at first he wanted to just fuse what was left of L1 to T12, but thought that might be too unstable. So his final plan was to fuse T11 through L3 while removing the fragments of bone. I understood what he was saying, but it didn’t really impact me till later. He was going to take Pedicle Screws and drill them through the Pedicle Bone of each then the rods would be attached. I don’t remember falling asleep. I remember about 3 seconds of the bright shiny surgery room and then I was completely out. I don’t even remember one minute from the recovery room.

I do remember Dr. Nelson coming in to talk to me later that evening and he showed me the picture up above. He explained how he used Xray imaging to keep the incisions as small as possible and to protect me from fully opening up my back. He explained how and why the screws and rods were placed the way they were. Again I was put on bed rest until I received my brace. And that’s apparently one more thing I don’t remember from the recovery room, this lady came to measure me for my back brace.

The rest of the days all streamed together. A number of friends came by to visit or called and that helped pass the time greatly. I was starting to get antzy so finally when they got me a walker and allowed me to start getting up 5 minutes a day I was so excited. Even if it was just to the bathroom.

Here’s Where I’m At..

I’ve been home since Wednesday afternoon (December 2nd). Which has been nice. I missed my bed and my comforts. But many things have had to change around here too. But it won’t be forever. Ya know, sometimes shit just happens. You can’t plan for everything, and not everything is going to be good.

Here are all the rules I have to follow until my 1 month appointment.

I have to wear a super duper sexy back brace every day

I have to take this brace off and put it on while lying flat

I have to rub the vest down every night with rubbing alcohol

No bending, lifting, or twisting with or without the brace

I can’t sit up for more than 60-90 minutes (Which is why it’s taken me so long to write this damn thing)

I have to walk up stairs sideways so the railing is in front of me

I can only walk up to 30 minutes a day

I don’t have to wear the brace in bed if I’m lying less than 30 degrees, however, if I’m lying down anywhere from 31 degrees to 90 degrees I need the brace on.

I wake up every 2 hours during the night to stay on top of my pain pills

I have to shower in this brace

I have to lay in bed and flex and point my feet 10 times every day

I have a walker that I use to help me keep my balance and I use that the majority of the time. I also have a wheel chair so if I’m out with some friends I can sit down as well because my back gets sore standing after so long.

Here’s What’s To Come

(there is a picture that might gross you out)

I have a month check up appointment on December 31st. I’ll have some new images taken and then I’m assuming we will start talking about physical therapy and get more into that.

I have two long incisions down my spine which these little strips of tape called steri-strips, those are going to fall off after 10 days and my staples and stitches are in side of my wound so he doesn’t have to take them out.

So far according to the nurses everything looks good with the incisions and everything seems to be healing rapidly and terrifically.

How I’m doing..

I’ve cried about all of this once so far. It wasn’t just a few tears running down my cheeks either. I let it out. I was angry, and mad, mainly at myself. There is no rationalization to this. I had to go from 80 to 5 in a manner of seconds. I would go for walk nearly every day. Or a run. I was and still slightly am heartbroken.

But, I have come to accept it also. I am determined to not let this take me down. No one has said going back is impossible. No one has said it’s not likely. The only thing any doctor has said is that I will probably lose some back flexibility. Which I’ll glady deal with.

I think about all the other things that could have happened. I think about what would have happened if I hadn’t tucked my head, I think about my mom not having been around when it happened, I just realized how I really did get the best end of the situation that I could have got. I really don’t have one thing to complain about. And I’ve been so thankful for everyone else’s support and help. That’s all just meant the world to me.

I’m going to be stuck on level 1 for a while. And that’s going to be hard, but eventually all of this will be a memory. But you’re welcome to follow along on this journey, cause you’re not the only one who has no idea what the hell is going to happen!