THE Real Housewives of Melbourne are still holidaying (read: drinking Costco quantities of tequila) in Mexico this week — and as the episode opens, they’re heading out to sea on a “catamarang”, as Jackie pronounces it.

The ladies all take in the stunning views — except Gina, who’s more concerned with her own reflection:

With tensions still high from Gina and Sally’s earlier clashes, this luxury cat-o’-meringue is divided: Team Sally on one side, Team Gina on the other. We’ll leave you to decide which side is the poop deck.

Janet gives Sally a chilling warning about her old frenemy Gina: “She can go lower than anybody.” She’s not talking about the limbo, folks.

Sally’s not scared, though: She insists that “there’s a new sheriff in town.”

Once they’re off the boat, the women head off on an excursion to a nearby town, where they once more split into two groups just to keep Gina and Sally from hissing and spraying at each other.

Lydia, Gina and Venus set off for a walk around the town. It’s a sunny day, so Lydia has a staff member from their villa walking one step behind her, holding a parasol over her at all times. “I couldn’t find a hat that matched my dress,” she shrugs.

She would carry the umbrella herself, but “that’s what they do,” she explains. To use Lydia’s much-loved catchphrase: Wow.

As the two groups settle in for afternoon drinks, talk turns to Gamble’s behaviour at last week’s party — in scenes we didn’t see in the previous episode, it appears Gamble got utterly smashed and made a bit of a tit of herself at the fancy soiree hosted by the business contact Jackie and husband Ben were trying to impress.

Staggering around the party, she told the owner of the house she’d “blown up his toilet” and left an awful mess in there for housekeeping to deal with.

Umm, eww. So now we know Gamble’s weight loss secret: She’s the Housewives equivalent of The Simpsons’ world’s smallest horse.

Jackie’s still fuming over her castmate’s coarseness: “This man’s invited us into his home, and you’ve blown up his toilet? It’s a big hot mess!” These women have fought about a lot of things in the past four years, but even I didn't think we’d witness a feud over rancid faecal explosions until at least season seven.

Talk among both groups turns to Sally and Gina’s ongoing fight — Jackie notes that Sally is one of the few people she’s encountered who doesn’t seem to be scared of Gina.

Attn. Sally: You should probably be scared of Gina Liano. She literally looks like Scar from The Lion King.

Gina’s insistent she’s not the bully Sally’s trying to paint her as. “I’m telling [Sally] to f**k off, and I’m the bully? I think not doll — I think the bully’s on the other shoe.” Gina — save that eloquent oration for the courtroom!

As night falls, the group head to a restaurant — one that’s wisely empty but for the Housewives, after others diners complained about their previous lively group meal.

Gamble’s sat opposite Gina, and tells her she’s been hurt to hear Gina’s been saying she married her husband Rick for his money.

Gina’s not having it. She announces to the table: “HEY! I’m allowed to bitch about anyone if you’re upsetting me. If you’re pissing me off, I won’t say good things about you — I’m allowed to.”

Soon, the others are turning on Gina. “You do go very low sometimes,” Janet tells her measuredly.

Gina’s immediately on the attack — and it’s not pretty. “If you really need to know, just for your PEA BRAINS,” she says, gesturing to Gamble, “CLEARLY she married him ‘cos he’s got money.”

“Oh … Gina,” Jackie tuts, as the table falls silent.

Sally pipes up now. “You deserve to be called a bully. Your behaviour … it’s so below the belt.”

Gina’s response? “GET. F**KED!”

Gina at least has Venus on her side — Venus has an issue of her own to raise with Sally, explaining that she’s been fuming ever since Sally referred to her as ‘short’.

“What if, just because you’ve got short hair, I call you a dyke?” she shouts across the table at Sally.

For the second time this evening, everyone looks aghast.

The next morning, Venus is still FURIOUS at being called short. It doesn’t help, then, that the camera angles during her rant about this topic give her the appearance of Stuart Little proportions:

She fumes to Lydia at how hurtful it is to be labelled short — but, not sure her friend’s quite getting it, reaches for an analogy Lydia can understand: “I mean, what if I called you ‘Chubbalucks’ constantly?”

Jesus. Dyke, CHUBBALUCKS? This is not the way to get people on side, Venus.

Away from the villa, Jackie and Ben are out for another important business meeting with a tequila supplier. For Jackie, though, every ‘business meeting’ is in fact an opportunity for another impromptu, unsolicited psychic reading. No sooner have they met than Jackie’s intensely insisting the guy is about to have another child.

In fact, he is — his wife is pregnant with their third child.

Jackie tells him it’s a boy — but he explains that actually, they already know they’re having a girl.

“FOR NOW,” she says ominously, fixing him with that intense Gillies stare.

It’s time for the group’s final dinner in Mexico, to be held at their villa (by now you can only assume they’ve been barred from every restaurant in town). It emerges that Lydia is yet to tip her umbrella-carrying man from yesterday — who didn’t come into work today due to heat stroke.

Dinner starts in an unusually conciliatory mood. Jackie says that she and Lydia have reconciled privately, so the others don’t need to worry about any further tension between them.

Lydia takes it a step further, insisting they embrace in front of the group “so they can all see,” like a hostage victim holding up today’s newspaper for proof of life.

Having hugged Jackie, Lydia then kisses Janet full on the lips. Then, suddenly, Venus has her arm around Sally, stroking her neck. Umm, how much tequila have they all had?

Everyone’s loved up — except, of course, for Sally and Gina.

As the others cajole them to kiss and make up, Gina says there’s no chance she’ll ever reconcile with Sally — because she earlier called her a “wog bitch” off camera.

It’s a startling accusation, and one that Sally vehemently denies. According to Gina, the slur happened during a group dinner some five nights earlier. Did anybody else hear the offending phrase?

“I heard … I heard her say it,” says Gina’s bestie Lydia, not altogether confidently.

Nobody else is buying it. The others at the table scoff at the accusation.

“Oh, cos we’re both liars, cos we’re wogs?” asks Gina.

Venus sticks up for her friend, insisting that “Gina wouldn’t lie.”

Janet scoffs: “ARE YOU ON DRUUUUGS?”

Indeed, on social media as the episodes aired, the Housewives were still divided:

Sally did not call anyone a wog bitch. END OF STORY. We were mic’ed up when Gina claims Sally said it. Production would have used it in the show! + Lydia has since apologised to Sally for going along with the story. #FabricatedStory #RHOMelbourne — JackieGillies (@JackieGilliesTV) January 24, 2018

I WAS THERE

I HEARD @sallybloomfield CALL @Gina_Liano ...WB! why would she make it up? #RHOMelbourne — LYDIA SCHIAVELLO (@lydiaschiavello) January 24, 2018

@lydiaschiavello admitted to @JanetRoachHW @JackieGilliesTV and myself at the reunion wrap party that her and Gina made the whole wog bitch thing up!!! The end... @RHOMelbourne #RHOMelbourne — SALLY BLOOMFIELD (@sallybloomfield) January 24, 2018

I can categorically say that neither Lydia or I ever apologised to Sally that we made up the story of her calling me W##B###. Anyone who is tweeting this is lying to protect Sally. Anyone who watched the reunion will see this xxx — Gina Liano (@Gina_Liano) January 24, 2018

Back at the table, Gina’s infuriated that the group isn’t falling on her side.

“I’m going, and I’m never coming back,” she says, storming back to her room as Janet shouts after her, accusing her of playing the victim.

Turning as she leaves, she gives one parting shot: “I’m not the victim, I’m the f**king QUEEN.” OK, no matter what you think of her behaviour over the last couple of eps, that was pretty iconic.

Janet makes sure she has the last word, and it’s certainly succinct: “Good, well ... drown in the pool.”

Next week: the Sally vs. Gina feud continues, the ladies have a seance for some reason, and Jackie holds her first ‘Shine it up’ event.

The Real Housewives of Melbourne airs 8:30pm Wednesdays on Foxtel’s Arena Channel. We’ll have a full recap up on news.com.au as soon as the episode airs — and you can chat all things #RHOMelbourne with recapper and Chubbalucks Nick Bond on Twitter at @bondnickbond.