Kunghah: Sistergirls and brotherboys unite to strengthen spirits

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Sistergirls and brotherboys unite to strengthen spirits

Sistergirls, brotherboys and gender-diverse Aboriginal Australians from around the country have come together to share stories of culture, identity and struggle.

A healing circle was formed and their hands gripped each other's tightly, before there was an eruption of cheers.

People embraced, tears flowing down their faces.

About 85 transgender and gender-diverse Indigenous people came from around Australia to Wurundjeri country in Victoria for Kunghah, which means "gathering" in Ngarigo language.

"We didn't know each other before today, and we're going home as family," aunty Vanessa Smith said.

Struggle for acceptance

Many of the people there, who had flown in from as far as north Queensland and the Tiwi Islands, sought comfort in meeting others who understand their identity struggle both as a trans or gender-diverse person, and as an Indigenous person.

"This a wonderful opportunity," Vanessa said.

"Because a lot of our community don't have the support from family or community … a lot of our families reject us."

The 65-year-old sistergirl from south-west Western Australia became a ward of the state as a teenager, after she repeatedly ran away from home.

She said a male relative had been abusing her since she was eight years old.

"[He] used to tell me I was his girlfriend. So I grew up with this very confused idea that I was a female because I was being called some grown-up man's girlfriend, and as I got older, started to appreciate that's not how it's supposed to be," she said.

"I ran away from home when I was 15 years of age because I was having experiences that no child should have."

Newfound family

Now as an elder, she lends an ear and a shoulder to younger people who are on their own path.

A former drag queen, the past 18 years of her adult life have been spent improving Aboriginal health standards and providing support to other transgender Indigenous people.

"We're dealing with so many issues. We don't have all the answers," she said.

"All we can do is create a sense of ownership and that we are a family."

"My family is from the Atherton Tablelands in far north Queensland … My elders, when I came out as transgender said you're not welcome, you have to go. Which is why I've spent most of my life in NSW. I found other brotherboys and they took me in."

"There's a lot of stories of trauma and pain and suicide and death and violence in the space. I feel as though the discussions we've been having, the feeling is very much that people are giving each other acknowledgement and love, and really stepping up to care for one another."

"I feel I'm with people just like me. It's also a chance to build my support networks and to yarn about personal stuff that others in my community just don't understand."

The weekend retreat provided many sombre moments — remembering the many individuals they have lost to suicide and violence.

There is no concrete data on suicide rates among LGBTI Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.

But statistics show shocking suicide rates among Aboriginal Australians, and much higher suicide rates among the LGBTI population compared to the broader population.

And you only have to talk to a handful of this group of people to realise that it is a painful reality.

Gatherings like this one, arranged by the Victorian Government, are key to keeping spirits strong — particularly among those who are isolated in remote communities, Vanessa said.

"We look for our acceptance in our own community," she said.

"It's important that we build networks whereby we can call each other and say 'I'm not feeling well'."

The face-to-face contact has been an invaluable experience for younger people in the community to seek advice and guidance.

It has also opened up complex discussions about practising culture as the gender they identify with.

Sistergirl Crystal Love practises Aboriginal culture as a woman in her community on the Tiwi Islands.

"In our culture, we've had to struggle in our community. We are where we are today because for 20-odd years, our people didn't accept us as who we are. We still had to play a male role or a female role, but luckily our people have changed and evolved. But we've had to fight for our struggle … I practice as a woman … I dance as a transgender woman."

Gender in Aboriginal culture

"Being an Aboriginal trans guy living in country NSW, I'm the first probably in Wagga," brotherboy Max Lyons says.

The 26-year-old home care worker started transitioning earlier this year.

Suffering from depression and anxiety, he feared how his community would react.

"I work in the community, people know my family. It made it very hard when I came out," he said.

"I was very scared about how work would react, how the community would react.

"For the most part people everyone's been pretty supportive … my family's been really supportive.

"There's been a few people that haven't accepted me, but I expected that."

Max had already connected with other transgender Aboriginal people on the more than 1,600-member brotherboys and sistergirls Facebook group.

But this was something else.

For the first time, he was in the presence of other people who understood exactly what he is going through.

"They're like me," he said.

"It's overwhelming because I'm active in LGBTI communities, but then I don't have the Koori aspect. Or then I'll be in Aboriginal communities but I don't have the queer aspect.

"My Aboriginal culture is so important to me, it's who I am, that's part of my identity. And being trans, as much as I struggle with it, being a brotherboy is part of my identity.

"In Aboriginal culture, it's very gender-orientated — you've got men's business, you've got women's business."

Max is currently saving up to have top surgery.

But one of his other major life goals is to start having conversations with elders in his community about practising Aboriginal culture as a man.

"I want to connect with men's culture, but I'm just not sure how to go about it," he said.

"That's something that's really important to me. So I want to sit down and consult with elders about my transition."

Topics: indigenous-aboriginal-and-torres-strait-islander, community-and-society, melbourne-3000, australia

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