Two Years After Fading – A small introduction

Hey guys I wanted to give everyone an update on my current status and share my experiences and observations. It has been just a little over two years since I faded and I have to admit that it’s been a great and interesting time in my life. In case you have not read my previous article you can find it here on this site it is titled “If we leave the organization, does Jehovah leave us?”. In summary I grew up as a JW my parents have been witnesses since their early twenties (they are sixty now) and I have had good and bad experiences as a JW. I was inactive for some time then came back and became a ministerial servant and decided to fade not only because I was already learning The Truth About The “Truth” but because I was tired of it all, the backstabbing the fakeness the politics the hypocrisy and the list goes on. I had to do it for my own sanity and sake it had gotten to the point where I was drinking almost every day even after the meetings I would go to the bar in my suit or the liquor store and I was taking antidepressants on top of that I got cancer and the elders asked me to step down as a MS because of my meeting attendance and a few run ins with some elders after that.



My current social life and running into old friends

Before I go on, I want to make it clear to everyone out there, I was not reproved nor disfellowshipped! I did not leave because I wanted to sin and etc. I did it for my health, physical mental and spiritual. Since leaving I am no longer drinking heavily, I am not on anti depressants and I am 130 lbs lighter. Spend a lot of time with family friends and my girlfriend whom I love very much and has been very understanding and decided to stick with me through all of this and I can never repay her for that. I am sure before she always dreamed of being a good jw wife with an elder for a husband and her as a regular pioneer and etc. ( you know the whole JW thing) but I think she feels less stress ( you know the JW life thing LOL) among other things I notice without mentioning it to her and I also want to point out that as of this moment I am writing this we are not “living in sin”, not that it’s any of your business but then again you don’t know me or my real name so why not share that especially for those curious active JW’s out there thinking all of us ex JW’s want to live a crazy immoral life and that is why we leave.

Spending time with family, my immediate family has become inactive except for my mother and I and my younger brother take turns at taking her to the meetings I have stayed with her 3 times and taken a nice nap, the good thing is that she now goes to an English congregation and everyone is very nice and don’t ask questions and leave me (and the rest of my family) alone pretty much so I like that. I do want to point out it has made her very sad that we do not go but she gets happy when I have gone with her, I also wonder if me finally telling everyone how I feel has something to do with it, I think most people who leave eventually do so because they are tired of it all as well and don’t want to waste any more of their time keeping up appearances, I also think they see the positive changes in my life and I am still here I am still the same old me just happier and less stressed. Even before I faded I had already started making friends and reconnecting with old friends from school and work and ex JW’s and family and pretty much those are the people I hang out with or talk to often and when I am not doing that I am with my family and girlfriend just doing what I think normal people do. I go to eat dinners and events and trips and all kinds of fun stuff in small or large groups without the fear of anyone telling on me or being judge mental about what I am doing ( I choose my company wisely) and knowing that they like me for the real me..for the first time in a long time I feel like I am being true to myself. I am not afraid of keeping up appearances nor looking over my shoulder hoping no one has seen what I am doing(not that I am up to no good but in with JW’s you just never knew what people would think or say or if they would tell). I see JW’s that I know from time to time and I would say about a third still come to me and say hi, I don’t know if they are aware I no longer go to the meetings or not but at least they don’t know I am an “evil apostate”. The others I am not sure why they don’t even bother giving me a glance but then again I really don’t care it just shows the kind of person they are. Like I said in my previous article there are some very sincere kind and loving people in the organization whom I have a lot of love for and care for dearly, and then there are those people whose love is conditional ( in other words fake ). But its totally fine with me as long as nobody is bothering me I don’t bother with them…or maybe I just look very different now that I lost weight…who knows?!



Remnants of my past life



And for the record im still not big on holidays it’s not only a remnant of my jw life but its all about money and etc. but don’t get me wrong I have celebrated my birthday and exchanged gifts for Christmas and I love NYE and Halloween.

Rating 4.30 out of 5 ?]

Tags: CM, fading