People of Ireland, vote ‘Yes’ for sex with eastern Europeans

...and other curious arguments for the Lisbon treaty.

Ireland’s second referendum on the Lisbon treaty draws closer and the campaign groups have been re-mobilised, including Farmers for No and Solicitors for Europe.

Even comedians are having a go. This week (25 August) saw the launch of the book “100 reasons to vote yes to Lisbon II” by sketch-writer Nick McGinley.

Some of it could have been posted on the European Commission’s website or, worse, written by Valéry Giscard d’Estaing himself. Entries such as “Lisbon will improve R&D in European economies” or “the Lisbon treaty is an organic extension of the Union” are unlikely to raise either a laugh or a ‘Yes’ vote.

But McGinley lets himself go occasionally. Voters are urged to vote ‘Yes’ because, “it will piss off the British Conservative Party”, because “Carla [Bruni] wants us to. And what Carla wants, Carla gets” and because “it encourages a wider gene pool”.

The latter reason is amplified as “Voting yes for Lisbon… is the only act of patriotism left: if we want our sons and daughters to have green eyes, cheekbones you could skin a cat with, long legs and a musculature that’s fit and svelte with bizarrely little need for exercise, then we have to do everything in our power to encourage more eastern Europeans to dull, grey Irish towns. The only thing to do in these places, during a recession, when it rains, on a Sunday is to engage in copious amounts of Irish-Latvian, Irish-Polish, Irish-Lithuanian, Irish-Hungarian, Irish-Czech Republican sexual activity leading to planned, unplanned, phantom and glorious new Euro-pregnancies.”

Well, the Irish voters might be persuaded, but Entre Nous predicts a backlash from Catlovers for No.