DAY EIGHTEEN, SCP 2731:

When Hell Freezes Over

(READ IT HERE!)



FINAL RATING:







Determining the "weirdest" SCP's seems like it would be a fool's errand, but surely today's example would belong in at least the top fifty or sixty most bonkers. The SCP initially consists of a mysterious trap door in the stock room of a grocery store, the origins of which are unknown to anyone involved in the building's construction. This door was apparently stuck shut until 1998, when two strangers from a company called "Richard and Sons" showed up to "repair" it, and have since been impossible to get in touch with.Once discovered and explored by the Foundation, it turns out that the passageway descends down into a network of impossibly vast caverns, in which a variety of monstrous humanoids engage in seemingly pointless work with millions of gallons ofof sweet, sticky goop. They melt it down, re-freeze it, melt it down and re-freeze it again. They stir garbage into it. They pile it in heaps to slowly rot.In one chamber, hunks of the stuff sit in punch bowls while a party full of humans walk by, mutter about their lactose intolerance and move on.In another, a vat of the substance is suspended under a gigantic tongue, which licks everything except the goo itself.It takes the Foundation operative a while to realize he's looking at ice cream, and that the ice cream is being "tortured." These tortures all seem to revolve around a notion that the ice cream "wants" to be eaten, like the chamber where a human child is repeatedly handed an ice cream cone only to drop it into a sand box, but there's no indication that this is any sort of sentient ice cream capable of suffering. The nearest explanation one can surmise from the whole thing is that whoever once ran this grocery store, they hated ice cream so much that they got into contact with a demonic portal installation business and paid them to set up a purely symbolic Ice Cream Hell.The fact that this phrase describes something that exists literally in ANY fictional continuity is pretty great.