As you might imagine, we get a lot of emails asking us to have a look at the various games appearing at the Game Developers Conference, which kicked off today in San Francisco. Included in this year's batch was one for something called Planet Licker. “Each lick of the controller propels a friendly monster through a solar system of flavor,” it said. “Slurp your set of ice pops, and go for a record time!” Okay, you have my attention.

GDC attracts thousands of attendees every year, and demonstrating a videogame that is literally saliva-based strikes me as a far more plausible setup for The Division than any money-based conspiracy nonsense. Planet Licker (mostly) dodges infectious disease concerns by using a customized, food-safe controller equipped with replaceable, single-use popsicles—or lickables, as I like to call them. Everyone uses the same controller, in other words, but the bit you slobber on (assuming you and/or your playmates don't drool like an overheated Great Dane) is yours and yours alone.

The Planet Licker website doesn't say much more about the game, although it does note that the demo will include “flavors that work in harmony,” like Orange Cream, Matcha Lemondate, Blue Vanilla, Coffee, Beet [yuck], and Blueberry. Fortunately, we've got some of our best men on the scene at GDC, and with any luck, we'll get some tongues on soon.

And in case you think I'm making this up: