ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A decision in the High Court this morning has lead to staff here at The Advocate carrying almost every piece of technology out into the carpark where it is to be set alight.

Maurice Overell, this masthead’s in-house counsel, set the pile of computers on fire just after 10 am today after getting word that a very senior member of the Catholic Church has had his child sex convictions quashed.

An acrid plume of black smoke is spewing out over town as a result and The Advocate passes on our apologies to locals affected by it.

The Advocate‘s Editor, Clancy Overell, has instructed all junior staff to turn their phones in to be destroyed in the fire. At the time of writing, Clancy is stripping the walls of copper wiring and loading bullets into his sawn-off .22 automatic rifle.

It is unknown at this stage what the news has in store for this independent desert newspaper but it cannot be good, considering the largely vulgar amount of articles written in the poorest of taste during the legal saga.

Our owners, a consortium of Chinese investors who once forced Clancy to eat an entire microwaved pangolin on his third bucks party in Qingdao back in 2001, have yet to issue instructions on how to respond to this.

God help us all.

More to come.