I have had trouble at Lehigh in regards to figuring out my sexuality. When I was pledging a sorority, I made out with a girl and was asked “What are you trying to do, make them [the frat] think we all just make out with each other? I mean, my pledge master always called us a bunch of lesbians…” I rose my hand, not realizing that you were supposed to just take what the pledgemaster dished out, and I said, “When I get drunk, I make out with girls. But I’m straight.”

I’m pretty sure I’m not straight.

I’m pretty sure I make out with girls because I find girls fairly attractive and interesting, but this “defense” of my sexuality that I felt obliged to make made me feel like I really had no place in Greek life. I depledged and moved on; I didn’t want to be somewhere that used my figuring out of my sexuality as fodder for “bonding through pain” or whatever the hell the pledgemaster’s job is.

But it continued even as a GDI. I met someone very interesting and delightful- oh yeah, a woman- and I was excited, as anyone would be, guy or girl. She is in a sorority, and I went to her party; we danced, kissed, all the sorts of normal things you might do if you’re interested in someone, only we were continuously berated for the entirety of the party. Boys would come by and say we didn’t need to make out anymore, because they didn’t care anymore. We didn’t need to beg for their attention. The staring was ridiculous; I felt very uncomfortable with the amount of attention being given to us. When I was out of the room, they cornered the girl I liked, asking her why she was bi, why she was kissing a girl and why not a guy. I was dancing with my friends for a bit, and a guy was like “Oh, go get the unicorn” in referring to the girl. People took photos of us, including girls in her sorority. I understand that photos get taken for the mystical “Wall of Shame” regardless on whether you’re making out with some guy or a girl, but regardless of how degrading I find the “Wall of Shame” concept, I found it especially inappropriate in this situation. If your sorority sister is clearly being harassed by people at a party over something of her identity, in this case, her sexuality, it is your duty to say something. Isn’t that what any “sister” should do? Nobody said a single thing to the boys, except for me and her, and obviously our arguments didn’t do a thing since they continued to make comments, even including some nice smooching noises as she and her were saying goodbye. Here at this party, I was just looking to dance with someone I liked, and not only did we get harassed by many of the men there, but then not a single one of her sisters said a thing to defend her.

I am not interested in being at a school where I cannot explore my identity without feeling uncomfortable. I do not think I have to explain my sexuality, and I do not think anyone else has a say in it. I say this anonymously, but I’m pretty sure people know who I am who were in that basement with us. Knock it off, say something if your friend is being harassed, and let people kiss whoever they feel like.