Eight men competing in Mr Gay China, which organisers say is a striking sign of how far attitudes to homosexuality have changed guardian.co.uk

There's a swimwear round and a talent section where contestants can show off their singing and dancing. But organisers insist the contest to be held this Friday is a serious business. It is China's first gay pageant.

The event is a striking sign of how far attitudes in China have changed and of gay people's increasing confidence. Gay sex was illegal until 1997. Homosexuality was classed as a mental illness for four years after that. Now an emerging gay community is busting stereotypes.

"We are intelligent, we're professionals, we're gorgeous – and we're gay," said contestant Emilio Liu, from Inner Mongolia. "I want the audience to know there are a whole bunch of people like us living in China. It's a wonderful life and it's not hidden any more."

These days there are gay support groups and websites helping people to explore their sexuality and meet potential partners. There are gay venues in most major cities; last year, the first government-backed bar opened in Kunming, in south-western Yunnan. Shanghai held the first Gay Pride week and in Beijing, campaigners called for same-sex marriages.

Now comes Mr Gay China, reported in approving terms in English-language state media. Eight finalists will take to the stage of a Beijing nightclub to strut their stuff in casual clothes and swimwear, exhibit their talents and answer questions. The winner – picked for his ability to represent gay issues as well as his skills, personality and looks – will head to Norway for next month's finals of Worldwide Mr Gay.

"I don't think people were ready before," said Ben Zhang, one of the organisers, recalling the "long and painful" process of discovering and accepting his sexuality, less than a decade ago.

It would be easy to overstate progress since then. Few of the participants are willing to give their full names and several complain about the stereotyping of gay men as weak or HIV-carriers. Strikingly, all are white collar workers and most have studied or worked abroad.

Zhang acknowledges that life is tougher outside the big cities, but says that is why the event is needed: "If this gets seen by some country boy in Ningxia, maybe he will realise 'It's not horrible to be gay and I'm not alone.'"

For many, the biggest issue is invisibility. "People want to stay out of trouble so they stay away from anything different ... It's not necessarily that they're afraid of it or think it's bad. They just don't want to know," said Liu, adding that a handful of friends cut him off after finding out that he was gay.

He said the pressures on gay men in China are different from those elsewhere, not greater, pointing out that there is no religious condemnation and that anti-gay violence is rare. But although Liu,26, says that most friends and family accept his sexuality, he has not come out to his father or grandparents.

"China is a very traditional society," explained Steve Zhang, 30, who works in sales.

Relatives have pestered him for years about finding a girl to marry. "When I finally told my uncle I had a boyfriend he wasn't surprised but said, 'Well, that's not a long term thing,'" Zhang added.

"They think having fun with boys doesn't mean you love them; you will still get married in the end."

The pressure to marry is one reason why some campaigners see gay marriage as a goal, along with legal protection against discrimination. But few expect such changes soon.

Official tolerance is highly variable. Activists and grassroots organisers complain of harassment by the authorities. Websites and publications have been shut down.

And although Shanghai Pride organisers deliberately kept it low key, with no banners or parade, the authorities forced the cancellation of some events.

Despite signs of growing confidence in challenging such actions – last year, gay men faced down police conducting a sweep of a Guangzhou park – most opt for a non-confrontational approach.

Organisers hope to avoid problems by keeping Mr Gay China low-key and did not invite mainstream Chinese-language media.

"Officials could show up and say 'your fire hydrant is in the wrong place," said Zhang. "It is still a sensitive issue."