More Americans rent their home now than at any point in the past 50 years, and many tenants have to contend with landlords who make their lives miserable. The Onion offers tips for dealing with a difficult landlord.


To ensure repairs are dealt with in a timely manner, always put in maintenance requests one to two months before something breaks.




It’s vital to know your rights as a tenant, so find out what all two or three of them are.




If you can afford the services of a lawyer, use that money to move to a better apartment.




Instead of getting into a heated shouting match with your landlord, calmly let them know how you feel by paying your rent with a giant bag of pennies.




When you’re getting frustrated with your landlord, remember that they’re just a human being trying to exploit you for capital like everyone else.




Try to see things from their perspective: Maybe you did bring the rats into the apartment with you!




Always read your entire lease so you know how many roommates you’re allowed to have and how many you have to keep secret.




Meet with your fellow tenants to share complaints against your landlord, build a sense of solidarity around your shared grievances while insisting action needs to be taken, proceed to arm yourselves with an array of lethal weapons, drape a banner reading “Property Is Theft” across the front of your apartment building to let the owner know it’s been transformed into an anarchist squat, and barricade yourself for a final showdown with law enforcement officials.




Just grit your teeth and stick it out—your lease ends in like three months anyway.

