What’s good? It’s OJ, aka Slut Lust, aka Osvaldo Chance Jimenez — and right now we’re live from Le Petit Mort at 37 Orchard, right in the heart of Chinatown — and this is Convicts NYC. I’ll be your host, and please bring money.

I was born in the Bronx, at Lincoln Hospital, back when the infant mortality rate was at 50%, so you know, I guess I’m here for a reason. My mom took us down to Harlem — first Harlem Harlem — then Spanish Harlem. And then through a curious case of events we wound up on the Lower East Side, and I’ve been down here since ‘89.

Being a real New Yorker is something you can’t explain, it’s something you genuinely feel — it’s a feeling! But depending on who you ask, you’ve either had to get beat up here, or be born here. I think being a New Yorker means just be who you are: be an original; be comfortable; be compassionate; be considerate; and be genuine. There’s that whole, ‘I grew here, you flew here,’ — but to me being a real New Yorker is being creative, being something that the rest of the world wants to emulate and copy and have a part of. I can say that Le Petit Mort is my shop, this is my contribution. We’re New Yorkers, this is what we do, we all pay a small role in our city — in making our city what it is.