Got milk in your seltzer? If not, you’re doing it wrong.

As you wander the beverage aisle at your nearest Whole Foods, wondering how the hell someone could possibly invent one more carbonated drink, consider the cow. Early seltzer and dairy were bae.

Joseph Priestly illustrated his experiments with soda water in his 1772 publication “Impregnating Water with Fixed Air.”

In 1767 Englishman Joseph Priestly invented the first “Sodastream” by infusing water with carbon dioxide captured from a vat of brewing beer. He later called soda water his “happiest” discovery.

Ours too, Joe.

Today’s beverage consumers are carbonation addicts well beyond the sugary sodas that dominated the 1980s and 1990s. People still want the bubbles but hold the added sugars, please. Cultish health fads and a demand for natural foods have rebirthed seltzer pandemonium. La Croix is only a sip.

Most Westerners haven’t yet tested their seltzer limits. If you consider yourself a true “seltzie” (yep, we’re coining it), mix it with milk.

In the mid to late 19th Century, people often added seltzer to milk either as a refreshment or a tonic to cure ailments — everything from fevers to acid reflux. One New York Times article from 1913 even reports men were “revived” with milk and seltzer after being pulled from a fire.

It can be served hot or cold. Some bars served cold milk and seltzer as a non-alcoholic option in the summer, while the gentry offered hot milk, seltzer, and sugar after dinner parties before sending guests on the cold ride home.

Before long people wanted to sparkle every liquid — including baby’s milk. A manic Sparklets ad from 1900 implored customers to “MAKE ALL DRINKS SPARKLING”; its glass bottle fitted with carbon dioxide capsules and came with mineral tablets and fruit syrups. Sup, SodaStream?

The New York Times

Once people could make their own fizz, things got bananas. Alcohol did(n’t) help. The Ramos gin fizz contained milk, seltzer, egg whites, orange flower water, and more.

After the soda fountains of the 1950s, the bubbles-and-milk combo declined to near obscurity. One traditional indulgence that remains is the egg cream, a Jewish treat containing seltzer, milk, and chocolate syrup, also invented in the 1880s. It’s a sweet place to start for skeptics.

Or if you want to jump straight in, it’s not that difficult: Mix some plain seltzer into your milk and add sugar to taste.

But when it comes to grapefruit La Croix you’re on your own.