When I posted an article on Running from the Guns a pal asked if I had seen Signal One (better known as its USA title Bullet Down Under). When I found out the film starred ex-footballer/chart-topper/professional bozo Mark “Jacko” Jackson as a renegade cop I knew I had to witness it IMMEDIATELY. Luckily Mondo Exploito contributor Pierre obtained a DVD copy from his brother – my three brothers need to step up their game. A few days later we gathered at Mondo Exploito HQ to bask in this cinematic beauty.

BULLET DOWN UNDER

Australia, 1994, Rob Stewart

The first sound we hear from the score is a didgeridoo. You know what that means? We’re in Australia. But hang on a bloody sec, mate. There’s a police guy dressed in LAPD-dark blue aiming his gun out from his black and white. It’s pseudo-Mark Hamill, Christopher Atkins, as Mark Bullet. Bullet by name. Bullet by nature. And he proves that by gunning down a baby-faced Ryan Kwanten (True Blood).

So we must be in the USA not Australia, right? But the buyer who Kwanten was selling drugs to screams in an Australian accent, “Ya killed a kid! Ya killed a little kid! Feel good, huh?” So where exactly are we? Oh who the fuck cares? The opening sequence might be bewildering but it’s bloody entertaining. It’s even more entertaining when Bullet flashbacks to the child-killing later. It comes at a hilariously inappropriate time for him.





Before I go on, you might have noticed the clip’s atrocious sound and vision. In terms of transfer, this is the worst quality DVD I’VE EVER SEEN. It’s a real shame because as you’ll read Bullet Down Under deserves much better.

Once the opening titles conclude, we’re in Sydney, for real this time. You’ll never see a film that makes the beauty of Sydney look so ordinary. Bleached-blond buffoon Jack Moran (Mark “Jacko” Jackson) and his cop partner Baza (Laurie Moran, seen in The Chain Reaction) have been called out to a drug deal that has turned fatal.

A dead body has landed on a Hills Hoist. Now that’s an Aussie way to perish. Careening to the crime scene Jack and Baza pass a bumbling man with a briefcase filled with cash. They set out to pursue the fleeing shooter. The shooter is later christened with the most threatening name in cinema history: Mr. Earring. It all goes belly-up when Mr. Earring severely injures Baza. Now Jack wants vengeance.





With Baza dying in hospital, Jack is paired with a new partner. You guessed it, it’s former LA cop/child killer Mark Bullet. Like in other buddy cop movies these mismatched misfits start out hating each other. But unlike other buddy cop movies, a scene or so later Jack and Bullet are fast friends. The sudden development in their relationship seems to have happened off screen. This makes you wonder what else has happened off screen. For instance: did Jack sing Bullet his hit-single, Me Brains Hurts?





Jacko tries hard in his role as Jack Moran. Really hard. His effort is admirable. You can see it in his munted face.

It’s as if Jacko’s thinking, ‘This could be me very own Lethal Weapon franchise. Me own Die Hards. Maybe in the sequel I get a new partner. Instead of Mark Bullet maybe it’s Lionel Ammunition. Yeah, Lionel Ammunition, I like the sound of that. And maybe me and Ammunition can hunt down another jewelry-named killer. Mr. Necklace, or Mr. Anklet… Ah shit, the camera’s on me. I better bloody punch something.’

Bullet’s wife reveals later that this They Live-esque punch-up is a male bonding ritual. I can only hope Jack has smashed all the other cops that have joined his precinct.

Atkins doesn’t have the same commanding screen presence as Jacko. When you are out-performed by an actor whose best work is screaming in Energizer ads, you know you’re doing a poor job. According to Mondo Exploito’s skipper, Dave, Atkins’ performance was equally as perplexing in the monkey-horror shocker Shakma, and Wet and Wild Summer!

Atkins’ character is the lead but it’s Jack who we want to follow. The tragic irony of his character is that his surname is Bullet, but he despises firing bullets. As a result he despises who he is as a person. The viewer is in somewhat of an agreement. That is until he pulls some amazing faces.

As the story unfolds, Jack and Bullet uncover a criminal triangle involving Mr. Earring, a shady Chinese boomerang manufacturer (Kee Chan), a drag club owner and his drug dealing bumbling brother, Frankie Button. Frankie is bumbling for a reason. He’s intellectually disabled. Why his drag club owner brother Doug put him in charge of a $150,000 drug deal is baffling. The implausibility of the situation is the audience’s gain.

Frankie (the prolific Richard Carter) hides out in what seems to an abandoned school with the missing money. On occasion, Frankie steps out to call Doug. The phone calls end up with Doug yelling at Frankie, forgetting he’s the one who put a man with a child’s mind in charge. When Frankie isn’t calling his bro, he’s battling a metal band rehearsing in the building. Nash Edgerton (The Square) plays keys in the band. As the band’s noise increases Frankie goes ape shit and wallops them. Jack and Bullet arrive at the scene and do nothing. You come to the realisation that these cops are fucking rubbish. Or are they?

As Jack and Bullet’s relationship disintegrates Jack continues on his one-man rampage. It leads him to a gym where he hopes to scope out Mr. Earring.





While I sat confused watching Jacko in an Aussie buddy cop/action film I realised I desperately wanted to see him in more films. Jacko was in the short-lived US TV series The Highwayman (1987), but he only appeared in one other feature film, the kickboxing crime flick Trojan Warrior (2002). He was set to be in the unreleased Yobbos up the Guts, which was to star another ex-footballer/chart-topper/professional bozo Warwick Capper.

TV director Rob Stewart directed Bullet Down Under. Karl Schiffman wrote the screenplay. He also penned the Billy Blanks and Roddy Piper kick-flick Back in Action.

Hopefully one day Bullet Down Under is given the DVD/blu-ray treatment it deserves. It’s an astounding piece of Australian cinema. Then everyone can enjoy the most beautiful moments of Jacko’s scant film career, in the best quality possible.





You can find Bullet Down Under on a region-free DVD from Amazon. That is if you are willing to put up with its shocking transfer. Or you might be able to locate a copy on VHS. The quality couldn’t be any worse.