Democrats in the House of Representatives yesterday announced they would open a “formal impeachment inquiry,” whatever that is. Summoning all the courage of the Cowardly Lion, House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) stood before a flag, compared herself to Thomas Paine, and told the American people she was kinda, sorta, almost ready to maybe attempt to impeach President Trump. Bold leadership.

For weeks now, Democrats have been divided over whether they were already holding an impeachment inquiry. Not articles of impeachment, but an impeachment inquiry. As Allen Iverson once said, “We up in here talking about practice. Not a game, not a game. Practice.” So now Pelosi wants to run lay-up drills without having the guts or desire to actually impeach the president. Why? Because they have no justification to impeach the president, just a fever-driven hatred of him and his supporters.

Apparently the final straw, now that the Robert Mueller special counsel investigation fizzled like a wet sparkler, is a thus far unknown account from an unknown person relaying rumors about a phone conversation Trump had with the president of Ukraine. This gruel is so thin that even Oliver Twist would say, “You know what? Never mind.” How do we know this? We know it because the spineless Democrats won’t even actually impeach. Like a high school freshman afraid to ask out the girl, they are asking friends to gauge her interest, terrified of being shot down.

All of this is, more than anything, a slap in the face of the American voters who, much to the dismay of the right sort, decided Trump should be president. As everyone knows, he wasn’t the first choice of a lot of conservatives. But you know what conservatives did — at least the ones who remain conservatives and don’t self-flagellate in the Washington Post? They listened to the American people, and learned from Americans’ desire to put the evil orange man in charge. As is generally the case, the American people knew what they were doing.

Now the Democrats, clearly terrified that their clown car of subpar candidates can’t beat Trump next November, want to thwart the will of the people and toss out the duly elected president. And they can’t even commit to it. This half measure, this bizarre investigation to decide if we need an investigation, is a sad indictment of their impotence.

This is clearly a fight Trump relishes, and he should. Now he can point his forefinger, be it long or short, directly at Democrats and say, “You can’t beat me, so you are trying to cheat.” And he won’t be wrong. This farcical feint at impeachment is a sad and desperate measure by a party devoid of ideas, lacking in vision, incapable of doing anything but mock the huge swaths of the nation that support Trump. It is a pathetic display that Americans will see through like an X-ray machine.

Republicans should have a simple message for the feckless Democrat: when and if your flaccid “not impeachment” reaches the level of actual impeachment, we welcome it. Go for it. It’s the fight they want, and it obviously isn’t the fight the Democrats want. If it was, they would do it and not just dance around the issue with made up measures.

The clarifying thing in all of this is how much Democrats have come to abhor our democratic system. For all his faults, Trump threatens their agenda, their failure to take seriously the problems at our border. He threatens their narrative that America is a horrible racist nation that should be ashamed of itself. In short, he represents the voters whom Democrats despise.

But rest assured: this repugnant attempt at usurpation will fail, and they know it. If they had an agenda, they would pitch it to the American people and try to bring it to fruition. But they don’t. They have green fairy fantasies and empty promises, policy proposals that most of them don’t even take seriously. And the fig leaf over their lack of substance is this ridiculous impeachment inquiry.

The American people laugh at this sad charade, this mockery of machismo. No matter how many CNN anchors nod along in an air of gravity and profound conceit, the American people will not be fooled. Beat Trump at the ballot box if you can. If not, then let Americans have the president we elected and work with him to advance the nation’s agenda. Spitting in the eye of the American voters is a sad play. Good luck with it.