There are times when I venture out into real world situations where I for some reason expect to see big breasts everywhere. My first assumption led me to believe that my brain has been corrupted by internet pornography but then I realized that even as a teen I had high hopes to see boobs at certain places. Unfortunately for me the real world seldom lives up to my expectations. Below I've made a list of the top 5 places I expect to see big boobs but get nothing.

#5 - Hooters

I had to start out this article with a little bit of controversy to catch your attention. Still, I've been to my fair share of Hooters restaurants over the course of my life and I have to say that more often then not, the Hooters waitresses aren't filling out their tops as much as I'd like to imagine. When I go to a place called Hooters I expect to see ladies with double D breasts wearing oil soaked white tops, doing everything they can to earn my tip. Lets just say I often leave that place unfulfilled. Their billboards and swimsuit competitions doesn't exactly represent the real girls all that well either. At least my belly always gets filled with hot wings. #4 - My Friend's House Maybe I've just been visiting Mommy Got Boobs too much, but I've come to expect that my friends mothers are horny older women with big boobs who will seize any opportunity to get into my pants. So far the mothers I've encountered are nothing like that and are usually not very attractive at all. What gives? I don't even think I would sleep with them if the opportunity was there. Ok, just kidding. Of course I would. However, just once I wish I'd meet someone who had a mother with large breasts that weren't sagging down to her hips. #3 - The Office I work in the Boobie Cave so I don't really have too much interaction with the world of water cooler talk and cubicles. I do occasionally venture into this foreign place when I have to and I'm often left disappointed. A couple of times the secretary of whatever big shot I'm there to meet aren't very busty at all. Sometimes they are hot, I'll give them that, but never the combination of hot, busty and willing to show it off. What's the point of having a secretary if she isn't busty and willing to give blowjobs under the desk? I mean, that would be the only reason for me to switch the Boobie Cave for a conventional office. #2 - On The Airplane I know this might be hard to believe with today's cheap airlines and all, but there was actually a time when air stewards were smoking hot ladies providing excellent service. Not that I'm old enough to have actually experienced those times but I like to believe the airlines used to have a team of voluptuous models ready to take care of my every need the moment I board the plane. Usually I end up with a gang of middle aged ladies who don't look good by any standard and a gay man. Due to an airline screw up I was lucky enough to fly business class a couple of months ago and I did notice the stewardesses looked way better in there so I assume the rich get the "good ol days" treatment. Time for you guys to start clicking my ads more. #1 - The Hospital Luckily I don't frequent the hospital much so that's probably why I have an unrealistic view of what to expect there. Most of my interaction with nurses is by watching Busty Nurses 23 so when I had problems with my appendix a while back and had to stay in the hospital over night I was certain a busty nurse would enter the room to moisturize on my penis. The closest experience to that was when a fat nurse squeezed my stomach until I passed out from the pain. Maybe next time?