This year’s list of the worst toys includes those that assault your senses and those that assault your sanity. From annoying, noisy toys that you want to hurl against the wall to just plain scary ones, this list may leave you wondering if aliens – or worse, teens – have taken over research and development at the toy companies. Some of these items might make perfect gifts … for that niece or nephew who lives far, far away. Can you guess the worst toy of 2012?

8. Minnie Mouse Bow-tique Sing & Stroll Musical Purse One of our Top 8 worst toys for Christmas – and winner of our Noisy Award – is this Disney Junior portable stereo disguised as a purse. Not only does the Sing & Stroll Musical Purse come with the loudest, most annoying Minnie Mouse songs, but children can also “Minnie-Mouse-ify” their voices, giving them that high pitched squeal that makes parents search for mouse traps. If that isn’t enough, the daisy-shaped microphone can break, which – come to think of it – may not be a bad thing, except for the fact that parents have spent $29.99 on it.

7. Just Like Home Play Food The Too Much Plastic Award goes to this set of polymer donuts and pastries. If you’re already missing your Twinkies and Ho-Hos, because of the demise of Hostess, these could conceivably replicate the look and feel of the snack cakes. Then again, if this food really is “just like home,” as the label indicates, it’s no wonder why childhood obesity is on the rise. Save your $14.99 and you’ll save yourself the challenge of reading the this-plastic-bag-could-kill-you warning, which comes translated in 11 different languages.

6. The Logo Board Game This game receives the Gullible Award. The Logo Board Game is Trivial Pursuit for brand-name junkies, testing your knowledge of logos, slogans, and jingles. One reviewer refers to the game as “capitalism flash cards.” Good luck if you want to play this with your children, unless they’re already middle-aged; many of the logos and brands, like the Kool Aid guy, are a few decades old. The Logo Board Game retails for $26.99; you could buy a lot of Kool Aid for that price.

5. 'The Walking Dead' RV Zombie Action Figure This $14.99 doll wins the Gross Award. One popular retailer’s website listed the manufacturer’s recommended age as 5+; the box, however, targets the 13+ doll market. The “neck snapping action,” the zombie-fied body, and the knife in the head make this a perfect stocking stuffer – for an adult male. Just make sure the toddlers in your house don’t get a hold of it; to achieve the same effect, you could let your kids rip the heads off their Barbie and Ken dolls. But would you really want to?

4. Crayola Crayon Maker The winner of the Child in Tears Award is the $39.99 Crayola Crayon Maker. This crafty toy takes something that your children can do independently (coloring) and turns it into a complicated family activity. The crayon maker is supposed to produce two-toned, swirly crayons, but the reality is that the crayons take a long time to melt, are minuscule, and tend to melt into the lowest-common-denominator color, brown. If that's not enough to discourage you from buying this toy, try cleaning the crayon maker afterward.

3. Razor E100 Electric Scooter Every toy list needs a Call 9-1-1 Award. This year’s dangerous toy goes to the $150 Razor E100 Electric Scooter for ages 8 and up. This scooter seems to follow a philosophy that’s becoming all too common: Take a perfectly good toy (a scooter) and remove the exercise component. The Razor E100 Electric scooter goes up to 10 miles per hour, but as one parent commented, “The brake is insufficient. It will eventually stop the scooter, but don’t let your kid(s) rely on it.” Time to put 9-1-1 on speed dial.

2. Fisher-Price Laugh & Learn Apptivity Monkey This cute fluffy monkey looks benign at first, until you spot the durable iPhone case permanently attached to its belly where you're supposed to put in your iPhone or iPod Touch. This drool-proof case and the fact that this toy is targeted to 6- to 36-month-old babies and toddlers means that it gets the Surrogate Parent Award. The toy claims it enhances sensory development and fine motor skills. So does letting your baby play with a cardboard box, a cheaper option than the $29.99 Apptivity Monkey.