Elsanna Week: Day One | Pirate!AU

rating: T (suggestive) | elsanna (suggestive) | 1,635 words | fluff, humor, crack



Written as part of a collaboration with aelifsigrun. It was her idea =3 I just went along with it. The likelihood of me doing the other days are slim to none, though she might participate.

written at 3am and unedited. Not even sorry.

Kristoff and Anna playing fake pirates for the hell of it. Elsa doesn’t know how to react. Everyone is too fond of boot(y)ies.

“Arrgggh! C'mere, ye scurvy dog!”



“Avast! Ye be no match for me sharp wit and even sharper sword! Huzzah!”

A snigger cut through the air, and Anna found herself sighing, rolling her eyes as she dropped the likely ridiculous position she’d assumed, arm up and leg back pointing the wooden toy that she’d stolen- er, liberated from Swordmaster Åsmund.

“What?” she asked, crossing her arms. Kristoff just shook his head (it was the only thing left to shake, really, because his whole body was jiggling up and down in an effort to hold back his very unmanly giggles.

“Nothing, nothing,” he finally managed to choke out. Sucking in a gasp and wiping a stray tear from his eye (seriously?), he schooled his features, standing up straight and bringing his own training sword with him.

“Ahem,” he coughed once, indicating to Anna as he noticed she’d failed to bring her own weapon up. “Ahem, aye!” he cried. “Ye be a fine adversary, but that be no match for Davey Jones!”

Jumping forward, he swung his sword out. It made a loud clacking noise as Anna brought hers up, and they proceeded to whack at each other, without any rhyme or reason (and certainly, absolutely, no form). It was likely that the new trainees, barely over the age of 10, were already better than the two oafs playing Pirate.

Of course, that didn’t bother them at all.

Lunging, Anna swiped at Kristoff, letting out a cheer as the wooden stick collided with his shin. He let out a surprised shriek of pain as he fell down, underbalanced without both feet on the ground. When he finally managed to focus on anything other than the throbbing pain (hey, he had a thick skull. Not shin), he came face-to-face with Anna (or rather, Anna’s foot) as she grinned down at him, the blunt tip of her sword at his throat, and her foot resting on his chest.

“Now, ye mangy blige rat, say ye final prayers and hope that Davey Jones is feelin’ merciful today,” she growled.

There was silence for a few moments as Kristoff tried to think of something clever to say. Anna was patiently waiting for a retort of some kind when he simply sighed.

“This isn’t working,” he said. Anna nodded.

“Yeah…”

30 minutes later

“Arrgggh! C'mere, yer scurvy dog!”

“Avast! Ye be no match for me sharp wit and even sharper sword! Huzzah!”

Anna and Kristoff both swung out at the same time. The poor pillow they’d tied to her four-poster didn’t stand a chance. It all but exploded in a burst of colourful feathers just as Anna whipped around to the second pillow, tied to the other post.

“Now, lemme ask ye again. Where be'in Davey Jones so me'n me mate can ‘ave a chat wit’ him?”

“I don’t know! Honest!”

The squeaky voice of the pillow-merchant actually came from somewhere behind Anna, but she was determined not to let the snort of laughter out at Kristoff’s ridiculous attempt.

“Is that so?” she asked. “Then ye won’t be minding givin’ him a message from me then, will ye? Thank ye for ye services, and ye booty. Ye won’t be needin’ it where yer goin’.”

And with that, she proceeded to beat the unliving-daylights out of the cushion. Somehow, it didn’t explode like the first; it just sort of… deflated.

Much more apt, Anna thought.

“Now, me first mate Krissy,” she said, ignoring his glare at the name. Her hands worked their way onto her hips, and she puffed out her chest in all her regal pirate-ness. “Ye be in charge o’ makin’ sure all the booty be well-concealed. Aye?”

“Aye!” he cried. She gave a sharp nod.

“The next stop be Alvilda. We be makin’ port and findin’ more crew.”

“Aye,” Kristoff said. “Darn tooting, ye looting, shooting… pirouting?”

“Pirouetting?”

Kristoff nodded, and the two released simultaneous facepalms.

“Ahem, anyway, Pirate Kristoff. I expect to see-”

Whatever Anna expected to see was lost to the world as the doors suddenly swung open, revealing a very frazzled looking Queen and Older Sister, Elsa. She was looking at a document in her hand, and thus had taken several steps into the room before realising what her younger sister and the Royal Icemaster were doing.

“Uh, Anna?” she asked. “Do you mind- that is, would it be possible for you to perhaps halt your game for a moment? I have something I need to discuss with you regarding chocolate imports from the Flemish Isles.”

There was complete silence for a moment as Anna stared at Elsa, and Elsa stared back (though hers was considerably more wide-eyed and confused). The Queen gave a small cough in the back of her throat, hoping to gain the red-headed princess’s attention, but to no avail.

“Anna?” she began hesitantly. She didn’t get a chance to continue as Anna broke into a thick grin that soon settled into a dreamy smile.

“'Tis been a long and prosperous journey,” she began. Elsa raised an eyebrow, but Anna continued as though she wasn’t looking directly at Elsa and as though she couldn’t even see her anyway. “But this here be true love. Our partnership be endin’ here.”

The dramatic gasp that came from Kristoff’s mouth was almost enough to choke him, and if Anna weren’t staring so intently at Elsa, she might have laughed. As it were, the poor monarch looked as though someone had fed her favourite toy to the castle cat—confused and lost, the questions “why” and “what is happening” playing heavily in her eyes.

Kristoff’s voice cut through the room, but it wasn’t enough to cut through whatever strange tension was rolling from Anna. “Noo! Captain, my captain! Don’t be lured by the Siren song! She be takin’ yer heart and then takin’ yer booty!”

Anna cocked a half-grin from the right corner of her mouth. Her eyes trailed up and down Elsa, who may or may not have been shaking from the terrifying absurdity of it all.

“She can have my booty anytime.”

Now, Anna had only ever had one pet in her life: a fish named Filet (because she was young and didn’t understand the irony or the humor). She’d managed to keep it alive for a little over a week before an unseasonable cold- ohh…. so it wasn’t her fault. Okay. Regardless, she loved that little thing (even if Elsa had accidentally killed it) and as a result, spent a lot of time watching it swimming around its little bowl, happily blowing little bubbles at her.

Elsa looked a lot like that fish, her jaw moving up and down repeatedly as she searched for the right words to convey what she was thinking. To respond to Anna’s absolutely bizarre, maybe-slightly-unwelcome, definitely-not-what-she-was-expecting, awkward statement.

After a solid minute and a half of Elsa being whiter than any ghost Anna had ever seen (including the old guy at the top of the rectory), and Kristoff torn between laughing, crying, collapsing, or perhaps just begging for forgiveness, Elsa finally responded.

And that was to stand up straight, exhale loudly, and turn around, making sure to shut the doors as she escaped the stifling room.

As soon as she was gone, Anna burst out laughing.

She’d rather enjoyed being a pirate. Perhaps she could consider a career of it?

Hmm…. it was worth pondering…

~

Later that night saw the young princess sneaking through the castle like a common thief (or, hopefully not. Preferably, only the really good ones could get in. Or, better yet, no thieves).

She walked through the gaping hole in the wall where her sister’s door once stood proudly. An impenetrable shield that Anna had taken great pleasure in unscrewing, dragging around the castle, tipping it off the third-floor balcony before running down and proceeding to completely annihilate it with Kristoff’s axe.

And then letting Sven run the sled over it.

She really didn’t like that door.

So, while Elsa no longer had much privacy to speak of (though her en suite was still lockable. Anna had given her that comfort at least), at least Anna was happy. And that’s all that really mattered to her.

“Psst,” said princess hissed into the darkened room. “Hey, Elsa.”

The woman in question groaned and rolled over to face the direction of the noise.

“Wh- Anna?” she asked, voice hoarse and laced with sleep. Anna nodded, forgetting for a moment that Elsa couldn’t see her in the dark. She found she didn’t care, though; instead of answering verbally, she moved forward. She only had to put the lightest bit of pressure on Elsa’s mattress for the queen to roll the blankets back, giving Anna enough room to clamber in and curl into her.

“Hey, Elsa?” she murmured, feeling the protective arms of her sister wrapping around her. Elsa was still mostly asleep, which was probably the only reason she wasn’t stiff as a board remembering Anna’s earlier words. Teasing Elsa was fun, but having her relaxed and comfortable was so much better.

Snuggling in close, she let out a deep breath. “Love you, Elsa,” she mumbled, already feeling the tiredness creeping up, ready to whisk her away to sleep. “'N’ y'know, there isn’t any treasure in the world more precious than you…”

She succumbed to sleep a few seconds later, but not before she felt the gentlest touch of lips on her forehead, curled into a smile.



“I love you too, Anna.”