Our house has been under construction since September. That’s eight months of concrete dust, hammer-to-chisel chinks in time with the second hand and sweaty construction crew in and out of my home while I work. It’s been slow, it’s been messy, it’s been hard to concentrate and…it’s been totally awesome.

Last week, despite diligent efforts to keep overtly negative and insensitive people out of my experience, one slipped through and made her mark in the form of a fear-mongering rant on my Facebook feed — about how Mexicans should go back to their country. About how Mexican-Americans should all be made to learn English. About how the borders should be tightened and healthcare restricted and laws buttoned up to keep “their kind” from taking “our jobs.”

After I calmed myself a bit, then blocked this particular “friend” from my feed (better that Facebook filter such filth than have to process it myself), it occurred to me that there are many people in my home country who have no frame of reference whatsoever from which to imagine Mexico or Mexicans aside from the nightly news, ignorant immigration indoctrination and of course, a story they once heard from their uncle’s girlfriend’s boss whose car was stolen and found south of the border reeking of weed and stripped of its stereo.

Truth is, even some of my well-educated and non-bigoted friends and family have a hard time imagining why we want to live somewhere so dangerous, drug-ridden and parasite-plagued.

Not only are most of these perspectives unfair and unfounded (okay, so we have had our fair share of parasites) but they give a wholly inaccurate picture of the vast majority of this culturally-rich, family-centered and laid-back country and detract from the reality that Mexico presents much less to fear than to learn from.

Before I offer my own perspective, allow me to introduce the crew…

Far from decapitators or drug lords — in fact, as nice a group of guys as you’ll ever meet — they spend their weekdays here in Tulum and return to their village and families every weekend.

Not only are they talented, helpful, kind, funny and good natured, but they’ve grown quite fond of my kids and fostered a relationship with them well beyond the perfunctory hired-help-in-the-house congeniality you might expect.

A few examples:

Every day, as I come and go — requiring that the dogs be corralled, the gate be opened and then closed again behind me — at least one of them stops whatever he’s doing, runs over to assist me and watches for passersby as I back out.

And every day when the girls come home from school, they’re met by waves and grins and hair tousles, then invited for a ten-minute ballgame or craft session or lesson in masonry or Maya.

{Remember these seeds?}

And though they certainly don’t have to harvest coconuts for me, to sweep the patio, to patch my broken car window, to clean the pool, to wipe up their chalky footprints from my floor or to play the guitar while my kids sing songs, they do, and truly seem to see past the obvious socio-economic divide that would make many people leery or resentful.

Perhaps my favorite times are when Estella and her 20-something-year-old friend swap words in Spanish (a second language for both of them), then double over in laughter at the strange sounds.

“Como se dice ‘rana’?”

“Frog.”

“FROG?” En serio? FROG?” Hahaahahaha!!”

“Y en Maya?”

“Much.”

“MUCH?” No me digas!!!!!!”

Their laughter is contagious, heartfelt and loud.



So, without further adieu, in honor of The Crew and inspired by three years living among Mexicans, I offer:

A Picture of Mexico You Won’t See On The Nightly News

— which could also be titled —

8 Things the US Could Stand to Learn From Its Southern Neighbors

1. Resourcefulness – I have never seen so many items cleverly repurposed or materials put to good use as I have in Mexico. Coming from a throw-away-and-buy-it-again happy nation, it’s both refreshing and inspiring to see so many examples of making do on less and repairing rather than re-buying.

2. Family values – Not necessarily making lots of money for the family, nor buying lots of things for the family, nor keeping up with what would make the family look good, but sharing simple pleasures, celebrating even small things and prioritizing time together truly seem to be the foundation of this country.

3. The value of rest — On countless occasion I have come home to all three guys asleep in the shade. They do not jump up (except to open the gate for me), they do not act guilty for taking a mid-day siesta and they do not pretend to be working extra hard after being “caught.” They work their tails off, are good at what they do, take time for daily rest and do so without apology. How un-American. How very healthy.

4. Patience – Though the concept of “mañana,” (meaning sometime in the near or distant future) is notoriously obnoxious to efficiency-driven gringos (and admittedly maddening on occasion), I find the unhurried pace in general to be better for my health, easier for raising a family and conducive to a balanced lifestyle.

5. Presence — I’ve yet to meet a Mexican who fretted over tomorrow half as much as we do, and everywhere you look, you see folks perfectly content just being. The majority of people I know from the states feel guilty being still for very long, would more likely refer to “just being” as “doing nothing” and tend to associate downtime with laziness.

6. Culture beyond consumption — The richness of Mexican culture is still largely untouched by commercial influence (though this is changing) and is centered around family, tradition, community, food and folk art. Holidays are abundant and eclectic, bring communities together and are considered legitimate excuses for closing shop for days on end (as opposed to opening shop after hours to offer good sales).



7. Practical skills and trades — Whereas skilled labor in the US is decreasingly encouraged among young people and increasingly outsourced, mechanized or of course, done by skilled immigrants, the majority of people here know one or many practical trades. Whether tile work, carpentry, mechanics, embroidery, pottery, weaving or chicle harvesting, this is a country of craftsmen, artisans, farmers and laborers and it shows in the prevalence of handmade goods, local food and family-owned businesses.

8. Local living — Free of so many of the legalities that stand between US entrepreneurs and potential patrons or cliental, essentially anyone can set up shop and sell their goods here, making for rich local living, affordable products and services and street life that draws people together.

What intrigues me most is that these characteristics are sought after in the US (what thoughtful person isn’t trying to live slower, be more present and resourceful, shop locally, support artisans and find more time for family?) and yet fear divides neighbors — both across the street and across the border — who might otherwise have much to offer one another.

Clearly, Mexico (just like every other country) isn’t without its challenges, immigration is a tricky matter from whichever side you stand and at the end of the day, haters will be haters, but at the very least, I’ll now sleep a little better having added a counter voice to the fear-mongers on Facebook and a flip side to the five o’clock news.