“Dreamers.” You hear so much about them. Who are they?

Let’s not play word games. “Dreamers” are illegal aliens. Harsh but true. There are more than 1.3 million Dreamers living in the United States, of which 800,000 or so had registered under the Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals (DACA) program. They really shouldn’t be here. So they need to face the music, and start packing to leave. Shouldn’t they?

We’re told they’re in this pickle through no fault of their own.

So whose fault is it? Blame it on their parents. After all, Dreamers are mere children. Their parents illegally crossed into this country with them in tow, and got them into this mess. Now, with DACA rescinded, the children run the risk of being deported.

But their chances of being deported: zero.

No one wants to punish children for the sins of their parents. Certainly not our elected representatives. Both President Trump and former President Obama, who don’t agree on much of anything, are in complete agreement when it comes to the Dreamers.

“We don’t want to hurt those kids,” stated Trump “We love the Dreamers.”

And Obama had this to say: “We shouldn’t threaten the future of this group of young people who are here through no fault of their own.”

With more than 11 million illegal aliens in the United States (a conservative estimate), you have to wonder why is so much attention lavished on this bunch? Oh yeah, they’re children. And Americans always have had a soft spot for children. And not just any children. These children are simply the best and the brightest. Never naughty, always nice. The kind that Obama claims will “start new businesses, staff our labs, serve in our military, and otherwise contribute to the country we love.”

Put another way: “They’re good enough, they’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like them.” How could we ever manage without them?

You’d have to go all the way back to the days of the Mickey Mouse Club to find another group of children singled out for such praise. And, of course, the Mouseketeers were all American citizens.

It shouldn’t come as too much of a surprise that Dreamers are really not all they’re cracked up to be. They’re not all choir boys and brain surgeons. In fact, their achievements are less noteworthy than those of the average American. They’re not starting new businesses or staffing our labs as Obama claimed. And with less than 5 percent of Dreamers graduating college, how could they?

If you’re looking to buy a cup of coffee for a Dreamer serving in the military, you can put your money back in your pocket. It’ll be awhile before you bump into one at Starbucks. Only one-tenth of 1 percent of Dreamers have volunteered to serve in the Armed Forces.

Sure, there are those with exceptional achievements, who are bandied about as props. But for every valedictorian, you’ll find a thief. And for each violin virtuoso, there’s a gangbanger lurking somewhere.

But that’s OK. Dreamers can be who they are, warts and all. It’s all part of the Dreamer mystique. Remember, they’re here through no fault of their own. “No fault of their own” is the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card. And someday it will gain them an E-Z Pass to oodles of special privileges.

Before we give away the store, however, we might want to think this through. We seem to know what it means to be a Dreamer. But are Dreamers really Dreamers? Or could it be that some are actually DINOs (Dreamers in Name Only)?

Oh Very Young

You know, “it’s all about the children.”

But are Dreamers really a bunch of lovable children or young people—Obama’s term of endearment? That depends on your definition of children.

Peek into a room packed with Dreamers, and you won’t find any toddlers. Dreamers fall between the ages of 15 and 36. That’s right, 36. They have a median age of 25. That doesn’t conjure up Barbie Dolls and Legos, either.

Most are able to make it over to the DMV for their driver’s license, and many can have a few beers legally. So they may be younger than springtime, but not exactly what we have in mind when we picture children.

You’ll Never Walk Alone

So Dreamers are actually a bunch of fake children. Fine. Nobody’s perfect.

But getting dragged over the border means never having to say you’re sorry. Just stop and consider how Dreamers got here.

Picture the ever-popular “Migrants Crossing” signs found on California freeways. Remember how the signs depicted both parents running frantically, trying to avoid oncoming traffic and ICE agents. And the mother is shown grasping her small child’s arm, dragging her to safety.

This kind of thing happens. Sometimes.

Other times? Well, a funny thing happened on the way to the border. Children came here alone, without parents. It’s true. Many a Dreamer entered the country before the age of 16 with no other family member, with no adult coercion. They may not have gotten permission to go, but they went anyway.

Hmm. Is that possible? Would a teenager engage in such risky behavior? Duh! It’s hardly unusual for American teenagers to leave the comforts of home, and seek out new challenges. Many a foreign teenager, with fewer comforts, is more than willing to bid mamá and papi a fond farewell, and come see America.

And I Am Telling You I’m Not Going

OK, a few bad apples can’t spoil the whole dream.

What about the many Dreamers under 16 who came along with their parents? What choice did they have but to follow them?

Come on. Do you really believe any teens came here unwillingly? If you think you can get teenagers to go where they don’t want to go, even if it’s no further than the corner market, you must be dreaming. It’s not happening. Not to the market, and not to a strange and faraway land.

At an age when kids understand that if they get caught sneaking into a soccer match or rock concert, they’ll be in a heap of trouble, they fully recognized what it means to sneak over the border.

So it’s clear that many Dreamers engaged in dicey behavior and knowingly broke the law. No fault of their own? Oops. Nothing to see here, move along.

Too much ado has been made about these Dreamers. Some had no choice but to come here. And many were very young, though they’re not so young anymore. But a large number of Dreamers came here alone. Still others were teens, old enough to be complicit in their parents’ plans.

So Dreamers are pretty much like everyone else with one difference: All Dreamers are here illegally. They all entered this country unlawfully, and continue to break the law by living here.

Perhaps “Dreamers” is an apt name for this group after all. You’ve got to be dreaming to believe you can break the law with impunity. And it’s an especially impossible dream to expect no adverse consequences, and a slew of benefits to come your way.

These Dreamers really need to delete “The Impossible Dream” from their playlists. If they really want get a handle on their situation, they should listen to another oldie, featuring this lyric: “Don’t do the crime if you can’t do the time.”