Phish is like a carnival for adults, where the guy wearing a unicorn onesie is no less of a man than the one wearing the goldfish suit. It’s a no judgment zone, where the unspoken agreement is to understand one another on a ground level by accepting our similar passions and love for this band from Vermont. In a camping situation like The Gorge, fans are happily forced to live side-by-side for two, even three days, and make friends with strangers. With a full weekend spent together and bathing in the entertainment of “Lot Life,” you’re bound to overhear some of the best conversations and one-liners that could never be heard anywhere else.

These Gorgeous Photos Capture The Majesty Of Phish At The Gorge [A Gallery]

We started the “Funniest Things Overheard” series last summer at the Grateful Dead’s 50th Anniversary shows, and continued the note-taking at Magnaball and Lockn’ last summer. In the spirit of “Summer Tour 2016,” we did our best to collect some of the best things we overheard at Phish’s three-day weekend at SPAC, and did the same for this weekend’s Gorge run.

So, without further ado, we present to you the best things we heard at The Gorge this weekend. To give you the full story, we will be updating this article with comments provided by “PHISH TOUR 2014” and our Facebook’s comment section; because we’re all in this together, and we love to have a laugh!

“The first night was like really intense sex, the second night was the hug and cuddle we all needed afterwards.”

“I’m not going to spend fucking Bloomingdale’s prices on fucking capes …”

“We stopped at a rest stop and my buddy accidentally flushed the keys down the toilet. We got towed here.”

“Dude, hippies love Didgeridoos because it’s the closest thing to giving a tree a blowjob.”

“If we go a little further down shakedown there’s a Pokestop.”



“Let’s go make some Gorge babies and name him George with a silent e”

“Mom, does ‘bury the meatstick’ mean what I think it means?”

“Thanks slow llama” (in the vein of Thanks Obama)

“I’m so confused whether to bag and tag wooks or to catch Pokemon.”

“My eyes look only look pretty in Chris Kuroda’s lights.”

“If you got a beard that big you better be able to at least change a tire”

“How am I supposed to move my body while when my mind is getting fucked this hard?!”

“These are non- addictive cigarettes!” “You mean… Non additive?”

“What’s the use of this stash? It’s to feel crosseyed and painless in no man’s land…”

“Why don’t my parents understand the thrills we get watching a guy in a dress play music on a vacuum cleaner?”

During vaccum solo, fan to usher: “He’s playing a vacuum right now” / Usher: “a vacuum?” / Fan: “yeah, it’s sucking on his face to make that sound” / Usher: “hmm..” / Fan: “yeah, it’s a 1962 Electrolux vintage vacuum. I forget the model number, but he’s really into vintage vacuum cleaners.” / Usher: :::says nothing::: / Fan: “Anyway, he always wears the dress at every show. Well, It’s really more of a muumuu. Not the same dress. I think this is the 4th or 5th one since the early 90’s. I’m Facebook friends with his former seamstress. He wore a Bernie Sanders one early this summer and..” / Usher: “Sir, can you return to your seats. You can’t stand here” / Fan: “it’s a 1956 Electrolux, not a 62!”

“Cats rule everything around me.”

“I didn’t lose anything…except my mind.”

“Buy art, it lasts longer than nitrous.”

“I’ll trade you this meat stick for some doses.”

“He proposed and she said yes?” “Yeap, probably because he went to JRAD…”

“The Gorge makes Red Rocks look like pebbles…” “No man, I think you’ve just lost your marbles…”

“I AM his petting zoo!”

Fan to friend: “Let’s do it. How much?” / Friend: “$350. I have like no money left.” / Fan: “I got it.” “yeah, I got it.” / Friend: “Dude, those are all 1’s & 5’s with like 3 $20’s mixed in.” / Fan: “Fuck, I thought I was ballin still” / Friend: “Yeah, always remember it’s always 1’s & 5’s on the last night of Phish run” / Fan: “My checking account is -$240 overdrawn right now too. I got my check book with me though.” / Friend: “I don’t think dudes with neck tattoos accept personal out of state checks.”

“I feel like wooks are just children of really bad hippie parents from the 60’s.”

From a first-timer: “So this is what you guys do? There is this in life? I just want to bring my whole family here so they can see all of this…. All of them, all of you…”

“Don’t poop, or you’ll stop tripping.”

“All I did was try to gank a tank off a golf cart and they fucking surrounded me like I was Saddam Hussein.”

“Nobody goes to Jack in the Box. You WIND UP at Jack in the Box. Same goes for Denny’s. You don’t choose to go to Denny’s. You just wind up at Denny’s.” – Old guy on way out hearing I wanted to go to Jack in the Box after the show.

Girl on phone: “How can you not see me! I’m next to the guy with pins on his hat!”

“That was weird, but the grilled cheese wasn’t….that was decent”

“What do all of these skulls with lightning bolts mean?” “Told him it was a Harry Potter reference.”

“What do I do with my mustard hand?”

“We’ve got more drugs than T-shirts!”

“Maybe if I take this broom, keep sweeping, and only pretend to know the words ‘No, I clean…’ (in an accent) I could stay at the Gorge until Dead & Company next week.”

“Let’s not go putting unnecessary limits on things…”

Guy that eventually found out his leg was broken during set break of Night 1: “My friends were like ‘dude you need to go to the hospital’ and I’m like ‘what I need is the 2nd set’ but yeah my leg is broken”

“I like the cut of your jib and the hang of your scroat.”

Inaudible argument over music played way too loud at night: “Don’t be mad because we have better drugs than you!”

“I don’t think I can ever attend another Phish show again, for as long as I live, without at least one bag of tortillas.” (There seemed to be a tortilla war on the lawn during the first set each night)

Do you think they handed out tortillas at the door? Did we miss them?

Friend one: (pours Jameson and orange juice into a cup) / Friend two: What is that? Are you making a mimosa?” / Friend one: “uh, this is Jameson. So it’s a jimosa.”

Phish: “Lucy took a walk now Lucy’s dead” / Guy in sparkle hat: “She was asking for it…”

“Culinary grade grilled cheese to go with your culinary grade nitrous.”

“When will they turn that light off?!” / “Dude… it’s the moon.”

“I wear my dreads on the inside.”

“You gotta go to the men’s bathrooms at Phish shows… they have the best quotes…”