Let me start by saying I honest-to-goodness set out to make something super cute for Valentines Day.





But instead, I made this!





MWUAHHAHAHAAAA!





creepy dolls. Actually, I still think this little guy is hella cute - but it's been pointed out to me that I have an abnormally high tolerance for





Plus, can I just say? Making a "cute" baby mandrake root is DARN NEAR IMPOSSIBLE. Kindly ignore all the adorable examples on Etsy and Pinterest while I'm trying to make this point.





If you haven't run screaming from your monitor yet, allow me to show you it's not THAT bad... from a distance and before you add water:





See?





And you don't *have* to add water, of course. I just like that it adds to the realism. (Or you can splurge and fill the vase with resin!)





The water distorts and magnifies, which is actually really cool. And, er, really creepy:

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!





Hopefully I'm hitting just the right note of horrifying sweetness for some of you Potter heads out there. If so, keep reading; I'll show you how to make your own Mandrake bouquet for less than $10.





YOU WILL NEED:





- a small floral bouquet

a vase that fits the bouquet

- paper clay (or any kind of clay that air-dries)

- craft paint

- a little twine or sisal rope







My vase and flowers are from JoAnn's, and cost less than $5 for both. I already had everything else on hand, so this was an extra cheap craft - MY FAVORITE KIND.



Step 1: Cut apart your floral bouquet. Ideally you'll have 5 or 6 stems total. Set aside.



Step 2: Form a fat sausage of clay that can still fit through the neck of your vase. Pinch out a rough figure, leaving the arms and legs very short. Use your fingernail to indent a little mouth and eye slits.



Step 3: Holding the clay figure firmly in one hand, insert each of the floral stems into its head, like so:



Mod Podge or other clear sealant (if you plan to add water)My vase and flowers are from JoAnn's, and cost less than $5 for both. I already had everything else on hand, so this was an extra cheap craft - MY FAVORITE KIND.Cut apart your floral bouquet. Ideally you'll have 5 or 6 stems total. Set aside.Form a fat sausage of clay that can still fit through the neck of your vase. Pinch out a rough figure, leaving the arms and legs very short. Use your fingernail to indent a little mouth and eye slits.Holding the clay figure firmly in one hand, insert each of the floral stems into its head, like so:...then pinch the clay up around the stems a bit, too.





If you left your stems long, you should be able to push them down into the clay figures neck and abdomen. Be careful they don't poke through anywhere on the body, though.





You should be able to test your flower heights by gently setting your figure inside the vase: (You can always add more clay when it dries.)If you left your stems long, you should be able to push them down into the clay figures neck and abdomen. Be careful they don't poke through anywhere on the body, though.You should be able to test your flower heights by gently setting your figure inside the vase:



Step 4: When you're happy with the arrangement and your figure, leave it to dry completely.

(Mine took two days.)





Step 5: Once the clay has dried, reinforce the stem attachments on the head by adding glue around each one.



Step 6: Paintin' Time!!



I used a mixture of browns and grays, and even experimented with rubbing Fuller's Earth (basically clean dirt that scenics use) into the figure. My figure is pretty smooth, so eventually I added a bunch of striations to make it seem more root-like. Remember to add a little black around the eyes and mouth to help those stand out.





OPTIONAL STEP 7: If you plan to submerge your Mandrake in water, clear coat it now with Mod Podge or a spray lacquer.



Step 8: To add the finer root strands, cut and separate the fibers from a small piece of rope:





Twist some of the fibers back together at one end - as I've done here - to form a point. Then use a dot of superglue to attach that point to the very tip of the arms or legs.





I added about 3 small bunches of fibers to each limb, and also made the leg roots longer:



Mandrake butt!





These connections are very fragile, so be gentle when handling your Mandrake!



Testing the fit.





To assemble, add the water (or resin) to your vase first, before gently placing your new Mandrake Baby inside.

As a finishing touch, you can add a gift tag with one of the following groan-worthy puns: I used a mixture of browns and grays, and even experimented with rubbing Fuller's Earth (basically clean dirt that scenics use) into the figure. My figure is pretty smooth, so eventually I added a bunch of striations to make it seem more root-like. Remember to add a little black around the eyes and mouth to help those stand out.If you plan to submerge your Mandrake in water, clear coat it now with Mod Podge or a spray lacquer.To add the finer root strands, cut and separate the fibers from a small piece of rope:Twist some of the fibers back together at one end - as I've done here - to form a point. Then use a dot of superglue to attach that point to the very tip of the arms or legs.I added about 3 small bunches of fibers to each limb, and also made the leg roots longer:These connections are very fragile, so be gentle when handling your Mandrake!As a finishing touch, you can add a gift tag with one of the following groan-worthy puns: