Theresa May said she’s sorry her government upset the children that came on the Windrush, so we should accept that. It was an accident and we all make them. Some of us knock over a glass of lemonade, and some of us accidentally spend 10 years yelling that we must drastically reduce the number of immigrants as they’re taking our jobs and benefits while boasting our policies will create a “hostile environment” for them and whoops-a-daisy; you accidentally make an environment that’s hostile to them.

When she was home secretary, the prime minister accidentally sent vans round the streets with the words “Go home or face arrest” written on them, directed at immigrants, and no one could have guessed this would lead to an unwelcoming atmosphere towards immigrants in which some people might feel that immigrants ought to go home or face arrest.

It wasn’t the government’s fault that people who’d lived here for 50 years were suddenly threatened with deportation. It was an unlucky coincidence that at exactly the same time as the “hostile environment” policy, all round the country lots of immigration officials accidentally all became heartless, insisting they should produce papers they never had in the first place.

You can hardly blame immigration officials for threatening deportation to people who have lived here since they were seven if these people haven’t even bothered to keep their documents neatly in a folder marked “Papers that never existed”. Some people just ask for trouble.

One account from this story is that of Albert Thompson, who as a result of being unable to provide documentary evidence that had never existed to prove he’d lived here for 44 years was made unable to work, was evicted and was denied treatment for cancer.

You can understand why, because government policy was that immigrants were coming here to claim benefits, so the government would be tough and stop them getting those benefits and receiving free healthcare. But that policy becomes difficult when immigrants are working, so the best way out of this difficulty is to take away Albert Thompson’s right to work, so that he has to claim benefits, then he can be denied them and told he can’t be treated for cancer. After all, why should immigrants be allowed to come here and stop our government from carrying out their policies, just because the government’s policies are based on made-up b*****ks?

In any case, the Home Office can be excused for believing they were illegal immigrants, as there’s no way of checking whether someone’s lying about having lived here for 50 years. You can ask the neighbours but they might have been hypnotised. You can check their driving license and work record and medical records and bank statements and gym membership and library tickets and credit payments for a washing machine, but they’ve probably all been forged by Vladimir Putin, so it’s far more reliable to assume they’re lying and make them move to Barbados.

Windrush generation: threat of deportation from UK Show all 15 1 /15 Windrush generation: threat of deportation from UK Windrush generation: threat of deportation from UK The ex-troopship 'Empire Windrush' arriving at Tilbury Docks from Jamaica, with 482 Jamaicans on board, emigrating to Britain. Getty Windrush generation: threat of deportation from UK Jamaican immigrants being welcomed by RAF officials from the Colonial Office after the ex-troopship 'Empire Windrush' landed them at Tilbury. PA Windrush generation: threat of deportation from UK Alford Gardner who arrived in Britain in 1948 on the first Windrush ship to dock in Tilbury, Essex, speaking at his home in Leeds PA Windrush generation: threat of deportation from UK Alford Gardner in Leeds shortly after he arrived in Britain in 1948 on the first Windrush ship to dock in Tilbury, Essex PA Windrush generation: threat of deportation from UK Gardner was 22 years old when he boarded the ship in Kingston, Jamaica, with his brother Gladstone before they and hundreds of Caribbean migrants called on to rebuild post-war Britain disembarked the ship in Tilbury Docks PA Windrush generation: threat of deportation from UK Alford Gardner (right), during his RAF service in 1947 PA Windrush generation: threat of deportation from UK The son of Ruth Williams, a Windrush-generation immigrant, wants to the leave the country after threats of deportation. According to his mother, Mr Haynes applied for British citizenship in 2016 but was rejected, despite Ms Williams having lived in the UK almost permanently since arriving from St Vincent and the Grenadines in 1959. Ruth Williams, 75, said she felt "betrayed" by Britain after the Home Office twice turned down applications for her 35-year-old son, Mozi Haynes, to remain in the country. Ms Williams is understood to have cancer and said she relies heavily on her son for support. PA Windrush generation: threat of deportation from UK The British liner 'Empire Windrush' at port in 1954. Getty Windrush generation: threat of deportation from UK Ruth Williams, 75, with her British passport. "I feel betrayed and a second class citizen in my own country," she said. "This makes me so sad and the Home Office must show some compassion. "I am unwell and almost 75, I live on my own and I need my son to stay here. I need my family around me and I can’t face being alone. He has applied to the Home Office and been refused twice." PA Windrush generation: threat of deportation from UK From the top, hopeful Jamaican boxers Charles Smith, Ten Ansel, Essi Reid, John Hazel, Boy Solas and manager Mortimer Martin arrive at Tilbury on the Empire Windrush in the hope of finding work in Britain. Getty Windrush generation: threat of deportation from UK Jamaicans reading a newspaper whilst on board the ex-troopship 'Empire Windrush' bound for Tilbury docks in Essex. Getty Windrush generation: threat of deportation from UK After half a century in Britain, Anthony Bryan decided it was time to go abroad. But the decision set off a nightmare that saw him lose his job, detained twice and almost deported to Jamaica. AFP/Getty Windrush generation: threat of deportation from UK Jamaica-born Anthony Bryan poses outside his home in Edmonton, north London. Now 60 and a grandfather, Bryan thought the issue could be resolved swiftly, as he legally moved to Britain with his family as part of the Windrush generation of Caribbean migrants after World War II. In 1948, the ship Windrush brought the first group of migrants from the West Indies to help rebuild post-war Britain, and many others followed from around the Commonwealth. A 1971 law gave them indefinite leave to remain, but many never formalised their status, often because they were children who came over on their parents' passports and then never applied for their own. AFP/Getty Windrush generation: threat of deportation from UK Three Jamaican immigrants (left to right) John Hazel, a 21-year-old boxer, Harold Wilmot, 32, and John Richards, a 22-year-old carpenter, arriving at Tilbury on board the ex-troopship 'Empire Windrush', smartly dressed in zoot suits and trilby hats. Getty Windrush generation: threat of deportation from UK Newly arrived Jamaican immigrants on board the 'Empire Windrush' at Tilbury in 1948. Getty

Several victims of this policy were told they couldn’t leave the country to attend the funeral of a relative. The government would surely have defended this on the grounds that they might try to smuggle their dead relative back so their spirit could take the jobs of British ghosts.

After all, this was a government that every day tried desperately to respond to what they saw as growing anti-immigration feeling in the country by promising to drastically reduce immigration, and begging immigration departments to be as ruthless as possible in removing any immigrants without every document they were asked for.

I wonder if this, deep down, made some people in the immigration departments feel under a tiny bit of pressure to be a little bit more forceful towards immigrants in any way. There’s no way of knowing without consulting a psychotherapist, I suppose.

At one point, the government produced handbooks for people they were deporting. The one for people sent to Jamaica advised that when they arrived in Jamaica they should “try to be Jamaican, use local accents and dialects”.

This shows how skilful the government was at telling whether someone was an illegal immigrant. Less adept people might assume that if you have to tell someone to speak “Jamaican” as they didn’t sound in the slightest bit Jamaican, this might indicate the person isn’t all that Jamaican. But luckily Theresa May’s Home Office could see right through that trick.

This is a highly efficient method for reducing immigration, and the Home Office should do this to everyone. They could knock on random doors in Barking, informing everyone that they’re Zambian, then send them to Zambia with advice to start speaking Zambian and support a Zambian team instead of West Ham. And within a couple of years they could reduce the population to nought.

Maybe what’s happened is the government thought the mood was all one-way – that austerity and cutting benefits and moaning about immigrants was and always would be popular enough to keep them in power for decades – and now they realise that might not be true. So in several areas, they’re now having to explain away the cruelty of their first seven years in power as a clerical error.

But we should probably be gracious, and accept the prime minister’s apology. To start with, this was all a long time ago. She defended the decision to deny Albert Thompson’s cancer treatment as far back as March, almost a month ago, when times and attitudes were different.