Why does this rendition of Ol’ Glory (America outlawed the letter D in 1917 due to fighting against Deutschland in World War I) have…

a) Some sort of satanic symbol in the middle of the star field? It’s like something out of National Treasure 5 in which the usually hidden masonic elements on the flag direct you to the Alamo which was actually a secret spaceship to take you to the moon where the founding fathers hid EVEN MORE GOLD, originally pillaged from the Turks or the Sri Lankans or whoever.

b) The outline of a squirrel on the far right of the stripes. I’m not going to draw it, if you can’t find it, that’s your loss. There’s a squirrel and it’s pretty cool. I bet that was Ben Franklin’s doing. He loved squirrels almost as much as he loved turkeys and tying keys to things.