The last time I did this, I used the old “it’s me, not you” approach, but the friend didn’t get the hint and continued to contact me. Too bad she didn’t do that for the 10 weeks when I really needed a friend and would have appreciated just an occasional text or two. When she finally did surface from her busy social life (she doesn’t work), it was with an email full of details about her busy life but not once did she say “Hey, how are you” or “Hope you are well.” By that point, she was already on the “not worth bothering” list.

WASTINGTIME, D.C.

I’m glad there’s a term for this; it’s more accurate than “dumped.” It happened to me a while back, in a relationship of 18 months that had grown quite serious. After three weeks of silence, I decided someone ought to issue an acknowledgement, and wrote him a note (by hand, sent via the post office) saying I was hurt and confused by his behavior, but had enjoyed good times with him and wished him well. It felt right to offer a sincere closing on my end, even if his actions were rude and immature. Maintaining my own integrity weakened the sting. In a sense, I, not he, was the one closing the door.

AMC, DENTON, TEX.

I, too, was a victim of ghosting. We had been dating for four months and he was leaving for the weekend to attend a conference. I told him to have a great weekend and then never heard from him again. I was surprised because he had always been respectful and mature. I never reached out to him because, truth be told, I had planned on ending the relationship anyway. I’m guessing he just thought he’d beat me to it.

MRS. S, NEW JERSEY

My ex-husband did this after 12 years of marriage. We hadn’t fought (we very rarely fought); he gave me no clue that he was even considering such a thing. He told me how much he loved me up to the day he suddenly stopped talking with me, moved out, and then pretended not to know me when our paths crossed, even when our paths crossed within inches of one another.

AMERICAN ABROAD, NEAR MUNICH

I’ve ghosted two people in my life. Not because I’m incapable of amicably ending a relationship. Not because I’m emotionally or intellectual stunted. But for my personal safety, and to spare others in my life relentless harassment of having someone constantly slander you while attempting to get in contact with you in the same breath.

J’DiILLA DO’URDEN

Years ago, I had three dates with a guy who was not a match. On our second date, he bemoaned how people seemed to need to have conversations when breaking up, and why couldn’t people just fade away, wasn’t that the same message? Bemused, I stored that note in my head, and after the third date, when I was sure we were not a match, rather than send him a note, I gave him his wish and simply faded away.