This is the basic adventure I ran for Bad Captain, a comic version of Star Trek written by Jeff Call using Black Hack rules. It’s available for free here: Star Trek: Bad Captain.

Overview

The U.S.S. Calamity has been called to space station N23 in the Neutronia system on the borders of Federation space. Captain Decker has been ordered to serve as a mediator at a conference between two warring species, the Korollians and the G’Larcks. The Orion syndicate has dispatched an undercover agent to disrupt the conference. The agent is disguised as a bartender.

Scrambling for information:

Federation diplomats have been corresponding with Captain Decker for months to prepare him for the conference, but he has been essentially ignoring them. In fact, Decker will not remember to mention the conference to the players until they are under way to N23. Players will have to make multiple INT rolls to get the most basic information about the system, and the warring parties.

Basic Information

Neutronians: Neutronians are the native inhabitants of the Neutronian system. They have worked to end the current conflict between the neighboring races, and are hosting the peace conference aboard the space station N23, in orbit around their star.

Neutronians are plasma based energy creatures that actually live on the surface of the red giant star at the center of their system. They cannot survive away from the fiery surface, so they can only interact with other beings through robot avatars. They have very little experience talking to other creatures directly, so they’ve requested that the Federation run the actual negotiations.

Hydrogen 213: The chief (and only) Neutronian diplomat. He is the only inhabitant of this station. He appears as a small black disk on wheels (imagine a Roomba). To make himself more presentable to aliens, he has added a smiling face attached to his chassis by a metal spring. Hydrogen will be friendly and helpful, but completely ignorant of almost all basic social norms. GMs can play him as obsequious, but mostly useless.

Korollians – A martial, Samurai-like humanoid cat species. They a have a strict honor based society. A delegation of Korollians equal to the number of players is expected. The leader of the delegation is a old soldier named Chats-With-Prey.

Marrow swords: Enormous curved swords that each Korollian wears in an elaborate scabbard across their back. If they feel threatened or insulted, they will start to draw the weapon. If the sword clears the scabbard, they are honor-bound to not sheathe it again until the blade has tasted the bone-marrow (or species equivalent) of an enemy (blood-swords are for children, according to the Korollians). Each sword does 2d12 of damage

G’Larck-<clicking noise>-HAH!: The natural state of the G’Larck-<clicking noise>-HAH! species in it’s natural state is a 2-meter ball of purple gelatinous goo. In an attempt to make humanoids feel more at ease, they awkwardly squeeze into humanoid clothing. They will insist that the players use their full, difficult to say species name – G’Larck-<clicking noise>-HAH!, instead of shortening it to G’Larck or Glarks.

Scenes

Open Bar

The players & Captain Decker will be first to arrive. Hydrogen 213 will welcome them with glee, and show them to the diplomacy hall. It’s a large sparsely-decorated meeting hall with a view of the red giant, and an elaborate open bar.

Decker will make a beeline to the open bar. Nothing can stop him from getting drunk, but either CHA or INT rolls can be used to keep him conscious. Decker will awkwardly try to flirt with the bartender (and secret assassin), who will storm off to the kitchen if the players allow this to continue.

Hey Kitty, Kitty

The Korollians will arrive second. Once they arrive, Decker will drunkenly yell “Kitties!”, and will lunge at them in an attempt to pet and cuddle them. This will offend the warrior race and at least two of them will start to draw their marrow blades (see above).

Someone will have to make a CHA roll at disadvantage to calm them. Once a sword is drawn, they will have to be used at least once.

Decker will continue to try to cuddle the Korollians again, unless the players intervene (CHA or INT tests)

If violence occurs, this will not necessarily end the conference. Korollians relish a good fight.

Song of Joy and Friendship

When the four G’Larck ambassadors arrive, they will be stuffed into human tuxedos. The tuxes are a little tight, and purple bulges of goo will be poking out all over. Each one has a top hat jauntily perched on the protuberance where a head should be.

The G’Lark leader will announce that it is time for the Song of Joy and Friendship, an exchange of mutual musicianship and respect between the G’Larcks and the Federation. They will begin a 10-minute vocal “song”. Their voices will be atonal, screechy, and incredibly difficult to listen to. Describe the music to the players in the most unpleasant way you can imagine (it sounds like a whale screaming, imagine a cat has been set on fire, etc.)

Once finished, they will turn expectantly to Captain Decker. Decker will look around awkwardly, trying to avoid their gaze.

If pressed, he’ll drunkenly recall he was supposed have a song prepared in response. He forgot about it.

The G’Larck will leave unless they get a answer, so someone will have to try to sing something in response. This will require a CHA roll.

The G’Larck musical sense, however, is so alien that they will best respond to a failed roll. If the player rolls a 20, the G’Larck will consider it a masterpiece, and will request a recording.

During this scene, anyone who checks, will notice the bartender is missing. She left as soon as the G’Larcks arrived.

The Assassin

Suddenly, without warning, the Korollian leader Chats-with-Prey, will explode! Everyone in the room will be coated in gore and cat hair. A successful INT roll by a science or medical officer can determine it was a microwave based attack.

All of the Korollians will start to draw their blades. CHA rolls at a disadvantage can be made to stop them. Once drawn, they will attack random targets.

If the players delay any significant amount of time, a G’Larck diplomat will also explode, coating the room and players in purple goo.

The assassin is in the kitchen, adjacent to the hall, behind a pile of microwave ovens. She is wearing Meson goggles, that allow her to see through the walls to select a target. She has modified a pile of several kitchen microwave ovens to make a crude microwave death-ray which can be fired through walls. She will keep killing members of both factions until she is stopped. She will fight to the death.

Wrapping Up

If the assassin is stopped, and any of the diplomats are left alive, the conference will be considered a success (sort of). Captain Decker will be awarded a commendation for his diplomatic service.

If the conference fails, the war will continue, and the Calamity will retreat under fire from both warring parties. Captain Decker will be awarded a Starfleet Medal of Valor.

Hydrogen 213

HD 4

HP: 28

Attacks: None

If “killed” will re-appear in new robot body in a few minutes. The Station has 100 extra bodies for Hydrogen’s use.

Korollians

HD 2

HP: 10

Attacks: Claws 1d6, Marrow Swords 2d12

G’Larck-<clicking noise>-HAH!

HD 3

HP: 15

Attacks: Acid Spray 1d8

Orion Assassin

HD 4

HP: 20

Attacks: Kitchen knife 1d6, Kitchen disruptor 1d8, Microwave Death-Ray 4d20+20

She has several Orion syndicate tattoos on her body covered up with heavy makeup.