Football fans and reality shows are natural enemies, a situation not helped by TV commentators' tendency to promote Dancing With The Stars in the middle of a crucial game-changing drive.

"They're going for it on 4th! He takes the snap...

now here to talk with us about Dancing With The Stars is Emmitt Smith."

The dirty little secret is that even though most football fans consider the reality/soap world of shows like The Hills and celebrity gossip to be, in their vocabulary, "gay", deep down those worlds are a lot closer than you'd think.

A few years ago I started dating a guy who watched football, so I started watching football, because I don't have a mind of my own. I still barely understand football (is a safety a guy or a play?) but I find myself watching every week.

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Because it turns out at least half of football isn't about football at all, it's about drama. Cheap, nasty, drama. It's the same as how nobody who watches Survivor gives a shit about surviving, and people don't tune in to Hell's Kitchen to learn about food, they tune in to watch Gordon Ramsay take arrogant cooks down a notch by calling them stupid donkeys.

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NFL games are only played two days a week, usually. The rest of the week, football fans that would turn up their nose at soap operas, reality shows and celebrity gossip will cluster excitedly around the water cooler to discuss the latest Tim Tebow faux pas.

Of which there are many.

Here's some things any spectator can watch while eating popcorn, even those who don't know a third down from, I don't know, a cat maybe?

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