Caution: If you, like me, go all wobbly when the crowds corral you onto the yellow strip, i.e. into the danger zone, on even a moderately full subway platform, then the following Content is not for you. What you are about to see will cause you to feel that same dizzy anxiety on loop and I cannot recommend it. But if you do not experience crushing claustrophobia, by all means, let's do this.

Last night, the rush hour situation at 149th Street Grand Concourse in the Bronx caused dangerous overcrowding, with straphangers Tetris-packed onto the 4 train platform in a dense wall of human meat. The slightest sudden movement threatened to take a chunk out of that wall, sending commuters tumbling into the track void yawning all around them. See for yourself:

Juan Bago filmed this cattle drive around 6 p.m. on Monday evening, adding that the 2 platform looked eerily similar. Bago told Gothamist he had no idea what caused all this mayhem, but said it created "a lot of upset people" nonetheless. And, well, yes: Look at that stroller, stationed right on the edge of this terrible transit island. Are you sweating? I am sweating.

Because when a platform—especially one bounded on both sides by train tracks—becomes so saturated with angry and confused straphangers that not a square inch of open space exists, how can passengers even exit the train without accidentally jouncing someone into the gap?

@NYCTSubway Theyneed personnel to provide crowd control on the platforms of 149th grand concourse, the trains can barely pull in and out without brushing the straphangers. Extremely dangerous conditions. — JustUhhPERFECT (@JustUhhPERFECT) February 4, 2019

Theoretically, people could simply leave the station, sort of hunker together and, taking tiny careful steps, shuffle as a unit into the safety of the street. But even that proved difficult last night. According to Bago, the commuter churn looked even worse below decks, as people attempted to climb up the stairs to the platform.

yes, u can use this video too pic.twitter.com/wjyHKxJJPc — Notorious K.I.A. (@Kia4Realz) February 5, 2019

Photographic evidence from Twitter corroborates this notion. Look what the overflow did to the area around the station entrance:

Was on a delayed 5 train whose last stop was 149th st Grand Concourse. Once we start walking down the SLIPPERY STAIRS to take the 2 we find out there is no 2/5 service https://t.co/egEcZKwu6B ONE IS ADVISING CUSTOMERS ON WHAT TO DO. This was outside.Come on @MTA COMPLETE CHAOS! pic.twitter.com/9RQ3IisBeW — Mariel De La cruz (@marilarealista) February 5, 2019

Many 2 and 5 train riders reportedly found themselves waylaid for hours due to all the mayhem, without receiving an official explanation for the delay.

I'm sure I'm in there somewhere. It took me almost three hours to get home! — NYCwondergirl (@NYCwondergirl) February 5, 2019

@SubwayStats @MTA THANKS FOR LEAVING US ON #5 STRANDED ON 149TH & GRAND CONCOURSE..WHAT A GREAT JOB YALL ARE DOING😤 — SpiritualNubian (@NubianQueenIAm) February 5, 2019

149th & grandconcourse is a disaster right now, I’ve never seen so many people on a platform smh like the mta would stop the 2 and 5 service at the worst time of the day — •Jas• (@Ms__Rich) February 4, 2019

The MTA had not responded to our request for comment at time of publication, but a scan through @NYCTSubway's feed from last night offers a potential clue as to the chaos catalyst. Did this very dangerous, anxiety cooker of a scenario result from a rogue umbrella on the tracks? I can't guarantee that it did, but I also can't guarantee that it didn't.

Southbound 4 trains have resumed local service in the Bronx after we removed an umbrella from under the train at 176 St.https://t.co/nQqbDsyrnO — NYCT Subway (@NYCTSubway) February 4, 2019

We will update if the MTA confirms. Meanwhile, I will be over here in the corner, breathing into a paper bag, waiting for the anxiety spiral to set me free.