My post last week on speaking about religion with kids in neutral terms has definitely ruffled some feathers. The comment thread features some folks who believe quite strongly that religion should be treated like the enemy — and that atheist parents are misleading their kids by speaking objectively about the subject. Interestingly (or maybe not), it’s a perspective I encounter far more often in people who have not yet had children. In a post today by fellow Patheos blogger Kaveh Mousav (the pseudonym used by an ex-Muslim atheist living in Iran — brave chap!), Kaveh argues that he plans to teach his children (when he has them) that religion is nonsense, period. And others have chimed in that indoctrinating kids into atheism is A-Okay as long as it doesn’t involve abuse.

Now, there’s no doubt that there are some striking differences between religious and non-religious indoctrination. With non-religious indoctrination, kids are never threatened with hell, for instance, or made to worry that an all-powerful being is judging their every move. (Thank God for that.) But there are plenty of negative consequences nonetheless. More and more, for example, as atheism goes mainstream, we run the risk of creating a generation of anti-religious zealots — children who grow up with no understanding of why anyone would hang on to religious beliefs, no empathy for those who do, and no ability to explore those beliefs for themselves.

For the purposes of my book, Relax, It’s Just God, which comes out in February (yes, you just witnessed shameless self-promotion), I define indoctrination as the halfway mark between simple suggestion and full-on brainwashing. You can be reasonably sure you are indoctrinating your kids if you teach them:

1. Your way is the only right way to believe. In this context, right means good; it does not necessarily mean true. This is because most people assume that what they believe is true — and there’s nothing wrong with that. But truth doesn’t always equate with benevolence or decency. In other words, it’s okay to think other people’s beliefs are wrong; it’s another to assume they’re bad.

2. People who disagree with your beliefs are less moral, less intelligent or less worthy of your respect. This concept moves past personal belief to actively disparaging people who see the world a different way, thus suggesting to children that those who believe differently are “lesser than” in a universal sense.

You can see, right off the bat, how religious people run the risk of indoctrinating their kids by suggesting that religion is synonymous with morality and, therefore, that nonreligious people are less moral. But nonreligious people run the risk of indoctrination, as well, particularly by suggesting to children that people who believe in the supernatural are gullible/irrational/simple-minded. In both cases, pretty strong judgment calls are being made, and neither of them are very nice — or true.

Still not convinced? Here are five more reasons to avoid inculcating our children with nonreligious or anti-religious beliefs:

1. Indoctrination cuts off critical thinking. Part of what makes severe indoctrination so scary is the fact that it can hinder a child’s abilities to think critically and draw her own conclusions about the world, independent from her parents. And those are skill that relate directly to her level of self-esteem, self-confidence and self-worth — the same attributes that will enable her to resist peer pressure in adolescence and beyond.

2. Your passion could backfire. Children who feel unconnected from their parents (and that’s many of them during the teen years) may use religion (or anything else that seems important to their parents) as a point of rebellion during adolescence — a way to assert their authority and establish independence. If your lack of religion is what’s important to you, that’s all the more reason not to indoctrinate.

3. Your kid might have a natural affinity for some type of spirituality. Or he may come to need it at some point in his life. One respondent to my 2012 survey told me he has a friend who “traded in his alcoholism for God.” Despite the respondent’s non-belief, he commented: “It was a good trade.” Religion might someday have the power to make your kids feel good or even safe. To take that away could be detrimental — not to your child’s soul, of course — but to his happiness. And there aren’t a lot of things more important than that.

4. Indoctrination breeds intolerance. The natural byproduct of religious freedom is a good, healthy dose of religious tolerance. It’s extremely difficult to teach compassion and empathy to others when you’re sending a message that yours is the only acceptable belief system. True tolerance starts at home. If you’re going to tell your child it’s okay for others to believe differently than she does; then be okay with your child believing differently than you do. Otherwise, you’re kind of a hypocrite. And by “kind of,” I mean totally.

5. Indoctrination isn’t necessary. If you are a person with strong convictions about the nature of the universe; if your beliefs make sense; if you present other people’s beliefs openly and kindly (“Religious people believe this and that, and that’s cool with me.”); and if you are generally happy, fulfilled, ethical, decent and friendly — then your kids are very likely to follow in your footsteps. And why wouldn’t they? You sound awesome.