Ren McCarthy twirled onstage in a blue dress with a tulle bow, an enthusiastic audience of local Connecticut families beaming up at her, before walking over to the emcee for the interview portion of the Little Miss Westie pageant in the coastal town of West Haven. It was April 1, 2017, and the preteen was one of dozens of participants in the popular community fundraiser, an annual chance for local girls to parade on stage and show off their talents.

Her schoolteacher parents, Shelley and Chris, were excitedly watching from the seats below; so was her older brother, Luca, his phone at the ready to record every minute of her performance.

‘If you could time travel, where would you go, and why?’ the master of ceremonies asked Ren.

She leaned in to the microphone; her voice was a bit quiet and tentative, but her answer wowed the crowd.

‘I’d go back to when I was three or four and tell my parents that I was a girl, rather than a boy – and make sure that they knew that back then,’ she said, to applause.

Because Ren, now 13, is transgender; so is her older brother, who actually competed in Little Miss Westie himself when he was living as a girl.

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New documentary Little Miss Westie, which has its world premiere this week at DOC NYC film festival, chronicles the lives of a Connecticut family whose children are both transgender. Pictured from left to right are mother Shelley, father Chris, son Luca and daughter Ren

Luca, right, was born biologically female, while younger sibling Ren, left, was born biologically male; both children told their parents from an early age that they did not identify with the genders they were assigned at birth - surprising their mother and father, who knew no transgender people

Luca, left, is now 17 and living as a boy, while Ren, right, is 13 years old and living as a girl; their father says in the film: ‘As far as the gender dynamics, they’ve switched genders in the past couple years – but it hasn’t affected who they are, I don’t think, as much as solidifying who they are ... Luca is a sullen teenager, and Ren is a bubbly young lady’

‘We have two children, a boy and a girl, and it was a girl and a boy,’ says their father, speaking in new documentary Little Miss Westie. ‘As far as the gender dynamics, they’ve switched genders in the past couple years – but it hasn’t affected who they are, I don’t think, as much as solidifying who they are.

‘Luca is a sullen teenager, and Ren is a bubbly young lady.’

Both children, from a young age, felt that they didn’t identify with the biological genders assigned to them at birth.

‘When Ren was probably about four, in preschool, she asked us if she might be a girl,’ Shelley says in the film, which has its world premiere this week at the DOC NYC festival. ‘And at the time, we didn’t know anyone who was transgender. We had no idea.

‘And we just said, “No, you’re too much of a boy to be a girl.” She’s very easygoing… didn’t say anything until many years later. We were on vacation and she told Luca, but they kept it between themselves – so we didn’t find out until Luca came out to us later.’

Luca first came out to his parents by leaving them a letter – sparking a huge argument.

‘It felt like they were being unsupportive, but looking back on it, they were really just confused and upset,’ says Luca, now 17.

Shelley and Chris became more receptive to the idea, however, because Luca was failing in school and they couldn’t figure out why – and their elder child said it was because he still felt like he was a boy trapped in the life and body of a girl.

‘At that point, I said, “Fine, be Luca,”’ Shelley says.

Up until then, there had been little to distinguish the McCarthys from other average families in West Haven, a solidly middle class bedroom community of about 55,000. But having two, not just one, trans children changed all that.

‘It was a tough year,’ Shelley says. ‘One of the hardest things was thinking, since both kids were transgender, that people would be less accepting of either of them – that people would think that Ren just was emulating Luca, and then they would blame Luca for influencing Ren.

‘And this did happen in some of the extended family; they would talk to me and we’d have these awkward [conversations] where they’d be saying they know I’m just trying to be a good parent, but there are better ways to parent than to let your child change gender.’

The family lives in the middle-class, coastal suburb of West Haven, Massachusetts, and both parents work as teachers

Shelley, pictured with Luca, right, and Ren, left, before the children transitioned, says that when her children came out: ‘It was just difficult at first, especially with Luca. There was a period of time where I would just start to cry if I even thought his birth name and didn’t want to see pictures or any of that. It was just all very disturbing to me. ‘It had nothing to do with not wanting him to be who he was; it was just grieving … but it was a really confusing time’

Ren decided to enter the Little Miss Westie pageant in West Haven - a popular local event allowing girls to take the stage and show off their talents and outfits - just as her brother did when he had been living as a girl

And wasn’t easy for Shelley and Chris themselves – particularly Shelley.

‘I never felt I lost a daughter and gained a son, although I supposed I lost a daughter and gained a son and vice versa,’ Chris says in the film. ‘I think Shelley had more of a loss attached to that. Shelley had chosen both of our children’s birth names; they had Shelley’s name and then they have their own name that they chose.’

‘It was just difficult at first, especially with Luca,’ Shelley says. ‘There was a period of time where I would just start to cry if I even thought his birth name and didn’t want to see pictures or any of that. It was just all very disturbing to me.

‘It had nothing to do with not wanting him to be who he was; it was just grieving … but it was a really confusing time.’

The McCarthy children were overcoming their own obstacles, too. Over the years, Ren has dealt with bullying and had trouble fitting in; Luca has battled depression and other mental struggles.

‘When he was 14, around Thanksgiving time, he had taken an overdose of aspirin,’ she says in the film. ‘From 14 to 15, he didn’t laugh anymore. I don’t know how much that has to do with the body dysphoria or just the anxiety and depression of being a teenager.

‘When he first came home from the hospital, it was a tense time. We just knew he was on the edge. He was cutting himself, and I know that that is a common thing among gender-questioning kids. Cutting will raise endorphins in the body, and it gives a sense of control. I think he still cuts himself, but rarely now. He goes to therapy and he still sees a psychologist, and he still takes medication.

’So long as he’s doing those things and learning coping skills, if that’s what he needs to do to cope so that he’s not going to take an overdose … Cutting looks really bad, but it’s a completely survivable coping mechanism.

Even as the film progresses, however, it’s evident that both Ren and Luca become more comfortable in their own skin. The documentary follows the family as they attend a support group, discuss puberty blockers and – after the 2016 election, amid fears of restricted trans rights – scramble to attain official documentation declaring the chosen genders of their son and daughter.

Director Dan Hunt says that, when he first met the family and began making the film more than two years ago, he found himself ‘wondering whether or not the story was really needed’ because he felt real progress was being made with LGBTQ issues.

‘Now, what’s happened in the past few years, my God – it’s so badly needed,’ he tells DailyMail.com. ‘Because we’re going backwards, unfortunately in this country … people are unfortunately forming really, really poor opinions about trans people now.’

Viewing the everyday life of a family such as the McCarthys, he hopes, will prompt discussion and open minds.

He hopes ‘people will say, “Oh my God, that’s a family just like me,”’ he tells DailyMail.com.

He adds: ‘For folks and families that are dealing with gender issues with their own children, this is a really good film for exploring parenting … I hope it’ll prompt discussion for people who aren’t familiar with the trans community.’

Ren experimented with a variety of costumes and outfits - many handed down from Luca when he was younger - in preparation for the pageant, which Shelley says in the film that it gives her daughter a chance to 'go in and just be a girl and be kind of a girlie-girl – so this allows her to kind of explore who she’s becoming, more so than who she’s been or who she is right now'

For the interview portion of the pageant, Ren was asked where she would go if she could time travel and why; she answered: ‘I’d go back to when I was three or four and tell my parents that I was a girl, rather than a boy – and make sure that they knew that back then'

Shelley says in the film that, when her children came out as transgender, ‘It was just difficult at first, especially with Luca. There was a period of time where I would just start to cry if I even thought his birth name and didn’t want to see pictures or any of that. It was just all very disturbing to me. ‘It had nothing to do with not wanting him to be who he was; it was just grieving … but it was a really confusing time’

Luca, who is now 17, battled dysphoria and other mental struggles, even taking an overdose of aspirin, but has been adjusting to his transition and is now a happier teenager, his parents say

Focusing on the McCarthys made that easy, says Hunt and his co-director, Joy E. Reed, who says: ‘They are incapable of being anything other than unapologetically who they are, and I utterly love them for it.’

When viewers see the film, Reed tells DailyMail.com: ‘What I really, really hope is that they can see trans people in a new light and maybe forget some of the notions that they walked in with … A gay friend of mine who helped us, he watched an early cut, just to give his impressions. He said that this film really challenged his assumptions. And he’s a gay guy, so you would assume that he had an open mind already – but he said it really kind of shook him and made him rethink a few things.

‘If people walk out of the theater understanding that being transgender is just one tiny facet of what these beautiful people are, and that they deserve all of the same civil rights and protections under the law that any cisgender person has, I’ll feel really good. And if they’re moved to action, I’ll feel even better.’

Ren’s participation in Little Miss Westie certainly raised awareness of trans people in the pageant, particularly when she gave her brave interview answer. Shelley – who says she’s not a pageant person herself – thought she was done with the event after Luca participated in his earlier years.

But then Ren wanted to follow in the footsteps of her older sibling, who helped coach her through the process – advising on outfits, poses, answers (and offering more than a little big-brother criticism).

The pageant is ‘a huge thing in West Haven,’ Shelley says in the film. ‘Ren doesn’t know most of the other kids who are involved in it, so she gets to go in and just be a girl and be kind of a girlie-girl – so this allows her to kind of explore who she’s becoming, more so than who she’s been or who she is right now.’

Shelley wasn’t sure what type of reaction the family would get given Ren’s participation; she made sure to bring her daughter’s passport in case she needed to prove to anyone that Ren was a girl.

The directors talked about watching – through the whole filming process – other people’s reactions to the family.

‘This family is visually interesting, so I think people, quite often, there was kind of an initial reaction and then kind of a course correction: “There’s clearly something going on with gender variants, don’t stare.” I think there was definitely an awareness,’ he says, when the McCarthys were out and about.

Shelley says in the film: 'One of the hardest things was thinking, since both kids were transgender, that people would be less accepting of either of them – that people would think that Ren just was emulating Luca, and then they would blame Luca for influencing Ren. And this did happen in some of the extended family; they would talk to me and we’d have these awkward [conversations] where they’d be saying they know I’m just trying to be a good parent, but there are better ways to parent than to let your child change gender’

Filmmaker Joy E. Reed tells DailyMail.com: 'Anybody who has a sibling is going to have a moment in this movie that goes: “Oh God, I remember what that was like.”'

Reed says: 'Marginalized communities are generally marginalized because people don’t know enough about them – and ignorance breeds fear ... So the more we come to understand these people as people, instead of boxes we tick, I think visibility is life.’ She adds: ‘Ultimately, the point of this story is just to make it very clear that kids are kids – and gender is secondary’

Filmmakers Joy E. Reed, left, and Dan Hunt, began working on the film more than two years ago; he tells DailyMail.com: ‘For folks and families that are dealing with gender issues with their own children, this is a really good film for exploring parenting … I hope it’ll prompt discussion for people who aren’t familiar with the trans community’

When it came to children, he said, they were often ‘realizing that something was a little bit different … like, “Oh, this girl might not be a girl like me” … within 20 seconds after that, once they realize they both like the same video game, who cares? They’re like, “It doesn’t matter. Gender schmender. That was beautiful to see.’

Little Miss Westie itself landed Ren a trophy – for Pageant Sweetheart.

‘Before she transitioned, Ren couldn’t read at grade level; she couldn’t write a sentence; she would get really worked up about it,’ her mother says in the film. ‘She had this underlying anxiety that put her base level so high that anything that added a teeny bit of anxiety put her further over the edge.

‘After she transitioned, they approached me and said they didn’t think she needed the special education services anymore. They said she’s one of the smartest kids in the school, and she’s well above grade level in reading and writing.’

She adds: ‘At this point, it seems odd that we ever struggled. Now I never think of them as being a different gender than they are right now.

‘Luca’s my son, Ren is my daughter, and now we’re just the McCarthys again.’

Director Reed says she wants to reach ‘the people who have ideas not based in ideology but out of ignorance. [Ignorance] is a tough word, but it’s ignorance in the definition of the term like you just don’t know. Once you know, you can make an informed decision about how you feel about things.’

Reed tells DailyMail.com: ‘Marginalized communities are generally marginalized because people don’t know enough about them – and ignorance breeds fear. So the more we understand that these people are just like your neighbors … anybody who has a sibling is going to have a moment in this movie that goes: “Oh God, I remember what that was like.”

‘So the more we come to understand these people as people, instead of boxes we tick, I think visibility is life.’

Reed adds: ‘Ultimately, the point of this story is just to make it very clear that kids are kids – and gender is secondary.’