This was one ballsy heist!

A Russian TV personality passed out after making out with a blond stranger in a sauna and woke up to find his testicles missing.

Dmitry Nikolaev, 30, of Moscow was boozing it up at a bar when an attractive woman struck up a conversation with him, LifeNews.ru reported.

The couple took a cab to a nearby sauna, where he guzzled a beer before locking lips with the mystery woman.

The married TV host then remembers coming to and feeling pain in his blood-soaked nether regions. Doctors later told him he had been drugged and had his testicles cut off by someone skilled in castration — perhaps a rogue doctor or even a veterinarian.

“I thought I just had a cut, but at the hospital, they told me my testicles were removed,” he said, according to a translation.

Cops think Nikolaev — who underwent two surgeries — was victimized by gangsters selling organs on the black market, according to LifeNews.ru.

As far as Nikolaev’s marital situation, he gave his wife a nutty story about undergoing emergency surgery due to a sudden illness.