Police Log

Arcata Police Log: I Feel Snitty, Oh So Snitty, I Feel Snitty And Bitchy And Loud 1:08 p.m. The yak whisperers may have been in particularly ill humor this day, as another citizen reported a clash with them in the parking lot of a 13th Street marketplace. The woman said that her phone rang with an important incoming call and she was just looking at the device – not illegally... »

Arcata Police Log: Their Attire Was Jolly, Their Behavior Appally, Their Tactics Sheer Folly • Tuesday, June 4 1:33 p.m. One of the ill-tempered messiahs who roam Arcata’s streets dispensing wisdom and verbal abuse, this one clad in white robes, screamed at a hapless heathen on H Street. The holy hooligan was located near a laundromat and arrested on a public drunkenness charge. »

Arcata Police Log: Flip-Flop Hike From Jail Dries Out Sidewalk Slumper 10:27 a.m. People encountered in Sunny Brae Park said they were just in from Virginia and were looking for a man in a skirt. Whether a specific one or just any randomly passing beskirted dude isn't known. »

Arcata Police Log: Schrödinger’s Cat Makes Appearance In Driveway, And Doesn’t 5:51 p.m. An officer was hailed at the Community Center by a woman who had been approached by a man who said he needed help with a “groin injury.” But before the officer could address the crotch crisis, the woman left, as did the groin whisperer. »

Arcata Police Log: They Say This Town Is Full Of, Like, Cozenage Or Whatever 11:40 a.m. The problem wasn’t with the yaks, but with their grouchy tenders, who form a kind of yak-centered mobile argument service. Cordial greetings and friendly remarks about their exotic animals are met with blistering ripostes, and heaven help anyone who asks anything of the two irascible yaksmen, like to move out of the... »

Arcata Police Log: Obstreperous Oaves Briefly Engage Grog-Sodden Prefrontal Cortexes, But Only To Throw A Bottle At That Lady • Thursday, March 28 10:42 a.m. Yak Man and his diminutive companion argued at a passing jogger before being admonished. One must greet the yakherders with extreme courtesy and caution as they go about purifying Arcata. »

Arcata Police Log: Weirdo Scours Nowhere For Thereness 9:19 p.m. A man stood outisde a Samoa Boulevard business with his pants down, opening and closing his car door. He told police he was waiting for a ride. »

Arcata Police Log: Practitioners Of The Howling Arts Blurt And Bluster Across The Landscape 3:57 p.m. A man out back of a Valley West shopping center may have been drunk and aggressive toward customers, but at least he peed on the dumpster. »