

Your first-born child? That’s the best you got?

Five browsers, four credit cards and three computers weren’t enough to snag myself a single ticket to either one of the Radiohead shows this week at Roseland Ballroom. I wasn’t the only one. People have of course taken to Craigslist in attempt to score a +1 to what will surely be “the show of the fall,” at least until the Spin Doctors come to town. And people aren’t limiting themselves by offering to pay $500 for an $80 ticket; there are those who are willing to let people crash at their apartment, buy them drinks all night, or even offer their bodies (“no butt stuff,” though!), all for the chance to hear “Karma Police” live. (Fittingly, if you type in “karma” in the “for sale” section, the first seven choices are all Radiohead-related.) Take a look at some of the highlights below, complete with grammatical errors!

I HAVE AN EXTRA RADIOHEAD TICKET, LOOKING TO TRADE! DONT WANT MONEY!

hi everyone. i got a pair of radiohead tix for the thursday, september 29th show. i am looking to give my +1 to someone, but i don’t want money. i want people to offer me things, experiences, opportunities, etc. – priceless heirlooms, foreign treasures. anything that might entice me. tickets/guestlist spots to exclusive events/movie premieres are always a plus. or just things (your house in the hamptons, your wife for a night, etc.) let’s hear it, best offer gets the +1

looking for a new date for RADIOHEAD !! – $1

Looking for a female date for the show. â€¨I’m a good guy and and a very interesting person. â€¨Please tell me what would you like to do on our date and do include a photo.â€¨ Your looks are not my first priority and telling me how big of a fan you are won’t get you any points either. Be interesting, be creative!

Do ANYTHING for Radiohead Wednesday 9/28 – $900

Contact for more info.â€¨ Die-hard female fan here (cute & open-minded).

Radiohead tickets needed- Free place to stay! – $150

Going to the Radiohead concert at the Roseland Ballroom, but you don’t have a place to stay? Have an extra ticket or two?â€¨I will pay $150 for one ticket or $300 for two tickets AND you can stay at my place for FREE. It is a three-story house in Brooklyn, near a subway station, you will have the basement floor all to yourself, there is a comfortable futon which can fit 2 people, and accommodations can be made for more. I can take care of your meals too.

RADIOHEAD TICKETS, WEDS/THURS (I’ll buy your drinks all night) – $200

If you have an extra ticket to the show, I would love to be your personal slave and get you drinks, hold your coat, do whatever you need. I’m a really nice person and I think we’d get along just great. I love Radiohead and have been dying to see them live for years. Let me know!

Radiohead Tix wanted Trade for 2 Duran Duran Best Seats – $1

One radiohead tix wanted for Roseland. In tern I can trade for TWO Duran Duran tickets at MSG October 25th and then some. Killer seats.

[Editor’s note: Good luck with that]

argh! radiohead tickets, anyone? i will love you till niagara falls – $70100

i was sitting here at 9:59:59 a.m. and still missed the boat somehow! anyway… i’m looking for 2 tickets (or 1 if that’s all you have) for radiohead at the roseland ballroom for either night. price- ? of course i prefer to pay face value instead of some ridiculous over-the-top price (dealers are selling for $625 and more already… really guys?) i can pay you full price, and take you out for drinks or food or i can make up a dance just for you, tell you jokes, have something fed-exed from japan to your house, practice lefty high-fives with you, paint your bedroom, be your alibi, have a staring contest and let you win, name a star after the person of your choice and say hello to it every time i see it for the rest of my life, help you quit smoking, encourage you to continue smoking, call your grandma just to say hi, assist in the execution of a practical joke, help you generate a client base for your new keyboard-cozy knitting business….

Free apartment for Radiohead ticket – $1

I am willing to have you as a guest at my loft in Brooklyn for 3 nights for a radiohead ticket at roseland this week. The apartment is yours, if you are coming in from another state and have a ticket, and do not want to spend $500 a night for a hotel, please contact me. I will not be at the apartment, and I live in a great neighborhood 5 mins from Manhattan.

Really cute girl really wants to go to Radiohead – $99999 (Roseland Ballroom)

I pretty much love nothing more than Radiohead. I certainly wouldn’t call myself a “groupie” but I would certainly sell a kidney or at least exchange one for the chance to see Radiohead live. Since I don’t have an icy bathtub readily available, I’m using my cunning charm and good looks to beg for someone who is looking for a pretty date to see my most favorite band ever!

Do ANYTHING for Radiohead Wednesday 9/28

Contact for more info. Die-hard male Radiohead fan ready to do ANYTHING* for a Radiohead ticket on 9/28.â€¨ Handsome and I play guitar. *No butt stuff. That’s weird.

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