ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Television love-rat Nick Cummins arrived back home in Australia this morning where he was met with nationwide condemnation for opting not to enter into an arranged relationship.

After appearing on this season of The Bachelor, the ‘Honey Badger’ came to the conclusion that he’d rather not start a relationship with two women he’d grown close to in front of millions of everyday Australians – choosing to remain young, virile and single for the interim.

However, that wasn’t good enough for the wider public.

“I feel cheated,” said one Bachelor viewer.

“It wasn’t supposed to end like this. It was supposed to end with marriage and children. That’s what everybody in this world wants. It’s what true success looks like. Happiness isn’t a warm gun, it’s the sound of little feet and the soft heartbeat of your life partner beside you,”

“What a love coward. Open your heart, Nick. I speak for the whole of Australia when I say he owes us all an apology.”

Demonstrations against the talented utility back have been planned in every capital city for the weekend.

However, Cummins has remained positive throughout. Having just returned from Papua New Guinea, he took time out of his busy morning to speak to our reporter on the matter.

“Mate,” he exhaled.

“This whole thing is as cooked as the NSW Government’s books. I’m just a happy-go-lucky barnstorming winger slash fullback. I’m no Jude Law. I didn’t want to lead one of those girls on, only to turn around in a few months and say sayonara, you know?”

“I reckon I’ll just cut about town for a while and be good company, good looking and funny. That should fare me well, you think?”

More to come.