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Facts

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Some important facts about avocados:

Avocados are the secret ingredient found in some of the tastiest guacamoles. If your tomato-and-onion guac is lacking that certain creaminess, consider adding an avocado.

You can eat avocado skin. Like, technically. In the same way that you "can" eat poison. Maybe this is less a fact about avocados and more of a design flaw in the mouth that it'll open for all sorts of dumb stuff.

Avocados are sometimes called "alligator pears." Also, "clean-shaven peaches." Also, "giant friggin' mush cherries."

Once a year, Subway Restaurants roll out avocado and pretend that putting an avocado on a sandwich is this mind-blowing concept that nobody's ever thought of before.

Avocados are very fatty but it's only "the good fat," which is something that nobody actually understands. Everyone heard it from their friend Carol and just took it at face-value, because ho-boy, if rating the various different edible fats on a moral spectrum doesn't sound like a clear-cut path to insanity, then I don't know what is.

Avocados are often grown in California, where all the taco stands are better than the taco stands where you live.

If you think about it, avocados look kinda like green eggs, and man, wouldn't it change things if that's what Dr. Suess was talking about?? Like, that's not a bad meal, really.

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