Paging Auntie Zeituni…

If only Barack Obama would spend more time with his beloved relative in South Boston, perhaps he would better understand the ever-growing welfare state he so zealously presides over.

Last week he was pushing for yet another extension in unemployment benefits, dismissing the argument that “it will somehow hurt the unemployed because it saps their motivation to get a new job.”

His audience, gathered together in the middle of what used to be called a “work day,” cheered wildly.

“That really sells the American people short …” Auntie Zeituni’s nephew said. “I can’t name a time when I met an American who would rather have an unemployment check than the pride of having a job.”

Auntie Zeituni, does your nephew really believe such arrant nonsense?

Maybe Barack could claim he wasn’t talking about welfare but “unemployment,” although it’s getting harder and harder to tell the difference. Or perhaps Auntie Zeituni doesn’t count, because she’s not an American, just an illegal alien, or was, until she was granted “sanctuary.”

Sanctuary from work.

Let’s face it, in the modern Democrat party, the dirtiest four-letter word of all is “work.” Granted, Obama’s dismal economy is responsible for tens of millions of Americans on the sidelines — 92.5 million now out of the workforce, according to Friday’s numbers, up 525,000 just last month alone. And doubtless millions of those unemployed would like to return to productive life.

But c’mon … what about the 9 million plus on SSDI? It’s so out of control the Democrat district attorney of Manhattan uncovered a $400 million ripoff centered in the NYPD and FDNY. Husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, a 32-year-old — all being coached by shysters how to dress shabbily, misspell the simplest words and stare off into space when asked questions — they were, in short, being trained to behave like Obama voters.

Everything free in America! Who cares? It all comes out of “Obama’s stash,” as two of his most loyal voters in (where else?) Detroit once laughingly described the welfare-industrial complex.

The CATO Institute did a study last year of welfare benefits in the U.S. It won’t surprise you to learn that Massachusetts was No. 1 in handouts among mainland states (trailing only Barack’s home state of Hawaii and his current address, D.C.).

Here a woman and two children (the typical welfare “family”) can grab up to $42,515 in tax-free handouts every year. That same woman would need to earn $50,540 working to match what she can collect on the dole.

Say what you will about the Tsarnaevs. They were good at making bombs, but they were also good at math. If the infidels were going to support them so handsomely while they waged jihad, why work?

Years ago, a Republican governor of Massachusetts struck yet another dog-whistle w-word from the vocabulary of the hackerama — welfare.

The Mass. welfare department was rechristened the Department of Transitional Assistance. And now U.S. Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas) is suggesting that welfare nationally be renamed “transitional living fund.”

Because, she said last week, these are “not handouts, but safety nets.”

What is it with this word “transitional?” Do the politicians really think that if they change the name, no one will notice that none of their constituents work anymore? But Obama et al. have tried it before — AFDC became TANF, Temporary Aid to Needy Families. Other than the fact that it’s not temporary, most of them aren’t needy and that very few of them are real families, it’s quite an accurate description of the program.

I watch Obama pandering to his shiftless, lowlife base, and I wonder if during his years with the Rev. Jeremiah Wright, he ever delved into the Bible, specifically 2 Thessalonians 3:10.

“If a man will not work, neither let him eat.”

What would your nephew make of that, Auntie Zeituni?

Order ticket to Howie’s “Night of Crime” at Florian Hall, March 9 at howiecarrshow.com.