NORFOLK, VA—Saying that the task is the sort of thing he usually prefers to do himself, restaurant customer Ryan Brooks admitted Thursday that he was unsure if he should tip the attendant in the bathroom of Norfolk’s Old Town Steakhouse simply for wiping his ass. “Not to belittle the guy’s job, but all he did was rip off a section of toilet paper and swab my ass,” Brooks said of the employee, who he categorized as “kind of pushy, actually,” regarding his behavior of cleaning Brooks’ soiled anus without waiting for Brooks to either request or object to the service. “Then he’s looking me in the eye, like, expectantly, so I kind of have to throw him a couple bucks, right? It’s a little awkward, but I guess this is what happens when you go to a fancy restaurant.” Brooks later confessed that while he knew the attendant was fishing for a tip, it was actually “kind of nice” when he pulled up Brooks’ underwear and zipped his fly.

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