

No matter where we work, no matter what shift we work and no matter how long we’ve been doing this job, there are just (many) certain absolute truths that all nurses can agree upon. With the insurmountable stress of our jobs, it’s always nice to know we all can rely on a bit of humor to get us through the day.

Here are 10 truths that I think we all can agree on. Enjoy the laughs.

10 humorous truths of nursing

1. The volume of an alarm is inversely proportional to its severity: Empty tube-feeding alarms will wake the dead; V-tach alarms won’t wake a manic patient.

2. As the number of available bedside commodes decrease, the number of patients (with unsteady gaits) with Go-Lytely ordered will increase.

3. No one is listening until you make a mistake.

4. Insurance covers everything except what happens.

5. If you’re feeling good, don’t worry. You’ll get over it.

6. The patients who have the most trouble swallowing have the most pills to swallow.

7. The sickest patient who requires the most attention is the one farthest from the nurses’ station.

8. Other nurses get pulled to your unit only on the quietest of shifts, so they believe your floor is the easiest in the hospital and that you never work as hard as they do.

9. Providers cannot examine their patients without tearing apart your beautifully made bed and/or dressing.

10. You always remember “just one more thing” after you’ve left the hospital.

What would you add to the list?

Adapted from the former website “Weird Nursing Tales.”