Aside from the sesquipedalian Conrad Black – who puzzles me, because his own manners are impeccable and he generally loathes ignorant boorishness – just about every serious writer in the mainstream media regards President Donald Trump with disgust.

Even Charles Krauthammer, whose ferociously controlled savagery toward liberals sets him apart from even his fellow columnists on the right, has called Trump a moral disgrace, among other things.

Trump's fans are right: the coverage of their champion is utterly unbalanced. Not that there is anything wrong with that; "balance" is just relativism dressed in evening clothes.

But it's always fascinating to flip the telescope around. I've been trying a little mind experiment: seeing things as a sincere Trump supporter. Here goes:

Typical lamestream media

Well, I suppose it was just a matter of time. The lamestream media is comparing President Trump to disgraced Hollywood producer Harvey Weinstein. Honestly.

Never mind the decades of liberal silence about a monster-sized predator, just because he squawked liberal noises, at least in public.

Now that they've stampeded, as they do, to a suddenly fashionable position, and Weinstein is evil, which he is, he must — must — have something in common with the president. It's a set piece liberal syllogism.

Yes, Donald Trump used some foolish, rough language when he thought no one was listening. Who hasn't?

Have some women complained? Well, one has sued, and her accusations haven't been tested, and there are rumours of other, anonymous women. Rumours.

Police are not conducting a criminal investigation into the allegations, and Trump does not stand accused of rape, as Weinstein, and yes, sorry, Bill Clinton both do.

As far as we know, the president hasn't paid women hush money (can you imagine?)

But it doesn't matter. Liberals are actually working up more outrage about the misbehaviour of President Trump than that of their former comrade in Hollywood, who is cannily trying to buy his way out of this with expensive rehab, limited remorse and a promise to spend the rest of his disgraced life fighting the National Rifle Association.

Of course.

Liberals are actually working up more outrage about the misbehaviour of President Trump than that of their former comrade in Hollywood. (Nicholas Hunt/Getty Images )

But let's stay focused on the sins of Donald Trump, which the leading publication of the liberal canon now numbers at a minimum of 68.

There's his inconsistency. Why isn't he tweeting about wildfires in California? Why is he more critical of Puerto Rico's authorities than Texas? Why didn't he rage about the guy caught trying to bomb the airport in North Carolina?

Why did he say America is returning to its Judeo-Christian values? Why does he criticize rich football players who won't stand for the national anthem? He's playing to his base! Why does he play to his base?

Well, gee. Why do you think? Maybe because they elected him? There are liberal groups that don't hide their hatred of Christians, or police, or even white people. Did Hillary Clinton disavow a single one of them?

Blame Puerto Rico

And was not America founded on Judeo-Christian values? Has anyone read the inscription on our dollar bill lately? Would anyone scream if the president of France or Italy said the same thing?

Could it be that Puerto Rico borrowed itself into bankruptcy and then demanded Washington rush to the rescue with the rest of America's money after Hurricane Irma, when Texans did most of their own rescue work after Harvey drowned Houston?

As for the guy in Raleigh-Durham airport, please. He was not a Muslim terrorist. He was unaffiliated, even in his mind, with foreign enemies who want to destroy us.

He was an incompetent loner, caught and neutralized by the security professionals and police liberals distrust so thoroughly. Maybe that's why you haven't read about him in the New York Times.

Wait, though. Trump is rude. He's crude and insulting. He makes up names for people. Calling North Korea's leader "little Rocket Man" could result in nuclear war.

Just heard Foreign Minister of North Korea speak at U.N. If he echoes thoughts of Little Rocket Man, they won't be around much longer! —@realDonaldTrump

Seriously? Being insulting now disqualifies you from the White House? Ever heard of Rahm Emanuel? Did Truman have to avoid offending Hitler?

And anyway, has anyone tallied the vicious nicknames liberals have come up with for Donald Trump? The ad hominem attacks, the mocking of nearly everything about his appearance? The tie length thing?

Is irony utterly dead?

Ah, but Russia. There's the big one, right? The fondest of all liberal hopes – that Donald Trump colluded with Vladimir Putin to beat Hillary Clinton, cheating her out of the job she could and should have rightfully earned.

Does a single liberal columnist see fit to repeat that a whole list of senior Democrats privy to the nation's secrets have said there isn't a single piece of proof that any collusion took place?

Does anyone on the left remember black leaders souring on Barack Obama and Clinton and advising black voters to stay home?

Does anyone remember Bernie Sanders's ground troops' hatred for Clinton? Could it possibly be that she lost for a reason?

But….but….Trump is hated by some Republicans. Arguably, he isn't even a conservative.

Uh-huh. And so?

"I own nothing in Russia," Trump says 0:32

Setting aside the question of whether hawkish Hillary — close friend of Israel and intimate pal of Wall Street's billionaires and a former senator who voted to invade Iraq — is really a liberal (a question I'd like to ask Susan Sarandon), does anyone think the millions of Americans who voted for Donald Trump sat around parsing his speeches for clues to where he lands on the spectrum of political orthodoxy?

Let me answer that: we voted for him because we were sick of being insulted, and he can counterpunch.

His punches are glorious. We love it when they land on prissy liberals, but we love it even more when they land on prissy Republicans. He's not pretty, and we don't care. He's a sonofabitch, but he's our sonofabitch.

Yes, most of us are white, and a lot of us are men. Gosh, sorry about that. We apologize. But aren't identity politics all the rage these days?

Just know this: We're even happier with him than we were last year. And we'll be back in 2020.

Every. Single. One. Of. Us.

Okay, that was weird. Sort of like taking Oxycontin. But worthwhile. Try it yourself, next time Trump does something that drives you nuts.

This column is part of CBC's Opinion section. For more information about this section, please read this editor's blog and our FAQ.