This headline could have left out the location of this incident and you'd have known it took place in the World's Craziest Peninsula™ anyway. This is quintessential Florida Man: criminal activity, unconventional encounters with police, and an outrageous Floridian twist, usually involving drug use.

In this case, the twist is that would-be burglar Matthew Riggins attempted to hide from police and, in the process, was devoured by a swamp monster from the gates of hell. (Hell, here, is Brevard County, Florida.) "Riggins and an accomplice were spotted lurking behind homes by neighbors who called the police," the Daily Mail reports. A police chase ensued, complete with K-9 units, but both suspects managed to get away—from the cops, anyway.

"He probably went into the lake to hide from the officers and the dog, and came across that gator," said Major Tod Goodyear of the Brevard County sheriff's office.

It's unclear whether Riggins was near Barefoot Bay Pond or in it when he encountered the beast. His family reported him missing that night—November 13—but his body was not found floating in the lake until 10 days later. When divers attempted to retrieve it, they were repeatedly attacked by the alligator, which forced a trapper from the Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission to put the animal down. An analysis of its stomach and an autopsy of Riggins' body confirmed that the alligator drowned Riggins and then ate some of the remains.

"To hide somewhere to try and get away, and then meeting up with an animal like that, no, I've never had that happen before," said Major Goodyear, which is almost surprising.

"I would say it's poetic justice, you want to sit there and steal from people," said local Florida Man Chuck Stotes.

Death-by-alligator seems like a harsh penalty for attempted burglary, but what do I know? At least the gator wasn't on bath salts.

[H/T: The Daily Mail

Jack Holmes Politics Editor Jack Holmes is the Politics Editor at Esquire, where he writes daily and edits the Politics Blog with Charles P Pierce.

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