Victor Hugo just texted Dan Brown, “Dude, back it down on the chapters, man! It’s not a contest.” Tolstoy throws in a, “Yeah, cut it out, man.”

Yes, the sparse words continue to spill out on the increasing number of pages of Dan Brown’s “Digital Fortress” so Conor and Mike can only counter it with more of their words.

All the departments are here: Mike makes an attempt at Real or Fanfic. Conor combed the Dark Web and found something other than a rig. Jabba pounds a few damp calzones.

And folks, I can’t keep the news from you anymore — I’m sorry… Two-Tone is dead.

I’ll hold a respectful silence while you insert your own Darth Vader-esque “NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”‘s….

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NEXT ASSIGNMENT: Read chapters 61 through 80!! (Double exclamation points intentional).

EDIT: Here’s the Gary Gulman standup we referenced https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dLECCmKnrys