I think it’s somewhere between Michael Jackson’s death being ruled a homicide and the 175th swine flu update that you have to think to yourself “what am I watching?”

The answer, my friends, is the pesky time between advertisements that the networks have to fill every night with whatever show of theirs has “news” in the title. I really want a corndog right now. I don’t know who had the idea of wrapping a delicious hot dog in an even more delicious cornbread wrapper, but whoever it is deserves the gold medal of deliciousness, which is an award I just imagined, reserved only for those who have pioneered foodstuffs in such a way that all humans’ lives are permanently changed for the better because of them. I think it’s a shame that you can’t give dogs a bowl full of popcorn.