Once there was a kid named Harry who live in a cupboard under that stair in some fucking English place. He lived with his Uncle and Aunt, but it sucked because his aunt and uncle were both major fucking buzzkills.

One day, Harry was really, really hungry and said to his Uncle, "Uncle, feed me, I need nourishment."

His Uncle said, "No way, you're a major fucking douchenozzle, and we don't feed major fucking douchenozzles in this house."

Harry was taken aback, as he was most assuredly not a major fucking douchenozzle. As far as he was concerned, he wasn't even a minor douchenozzle.

Harry couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm magic and shit, and I'm gonna go hang with my bros who are magic too, you fucking poser."

Uncle was very upset. He wasn't a poser. How dare someone call him a poser?

But deep inside, a piece of Uncle's heart broke, for he knew that Harry had spoken the truth. He was a poser. He totally posed.

Uncle's tears fell as the walls collapsed in his mind.

What had happened to his life? He had had such dreams. He yearned for a better love than what he had with Aunt, a more carnal love.

Where had the man he had once been gone? Didn't he use to stand for things? Something better, nobler than this life of pristine lawns and hardware sales?

In that moment, Uncle knew that something had to change. His life had gone off the rails, and he needed to right it, before something irrevocable happened...

"BOOM, bitch!" Harry said as he punched Uncle and disappeared.