Here are some things Donald Trump has said about his trade war with China since first hitting Beijing with tariffs last March, a move supported exclusively by his craziest advisers that caused National Economic Council director Gary Cohn to sprint across the South Lawn of the White House and hail the next cab back to New York:

“Because of Tariffs we will be able to start paying down large amounts of the $21 Trillion in debt that has been accumulated, much by the Obama Administration, while at the same time reducing taxes for our people.” (August 2018);

“Billions of Dollars are pouring into the coffers of the U.S.A. because of the Tariffs being charged to China” (November 2018);

“The United States Treasury has taken in MANY billions of dollars from the Tariffs we are charging China and other countries that have not treated us fairly” (January 2019);

“Trade negotiators have just returned from China where the meetings on Trade were very productive. Now at meetings with me at Mar-a-Lago giving the details. In the meantime, Billions of Dollars are being paid to the United States by China in the form of Trade Tariffs!” (February 2019)

He says these things because he doesn’t actually have any idea how tariffs work, despite having it explained to him numerous times—which in itself is a great reason to follow the directions on the box of Just for Men, and wash it out before it seeps into your brain. If he did, he’d tweet something like, “Billions of Dollars are being paid to the United States by Americans in the form of Trade Tariffs!,” because in reality, U.S. companies and consumers are the ones who’ve paid for his little trade war. And according to two studies published over the weekend, they’ve paid a lot!