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And breathe.

The transfer window is over, meaning we can all put out our love for all things capitalism aside for a few months and focus on actual football again.

First though, we ought to sort through the rubble of the last few months. It's been an odd summer in many ways, full of madcap trolly dashes, painful sagas and false starts... and that's just Manchester United.

To help you make sense of it all, we've ranked every single Premier League club's summer business. We've taken into account the quality of the recruits, the impact of departures, the cash spent and, crucially, the extent to which the squads have been improved or otherwise.

There are also bonus points for ludicrousness, because why not.

Here then, are the results of our scientific study, presented in thrilling reverse order. Bet you can hardly contain your excitement...

20. Sunderland

Major ins: Jeremain Lens, Younes Kaboul, Ricky Alvarez, Sebastian Coates, Yann M'Vila, Ola Toivonen, Fabio Borini, Adam Matthews, DeAndre Yedlin

Major outs: Connor Wickham, Santiago Vergini, Jordan Pickford, Anthony Reveillere

(Image: JMP/REX)

Let's start with the positives: the Black Cats got a great fee for Connor Wickham, while Adam Matthews, DeAndre Yedlin and Jeremain Lens are quite good at football.

But then there's the rest. Younes Kaboul is a walking injury who hasn't played well in about four years. Sebastian Coates is less mobile than a wardrobe. Yann M'Vila is a famously cranky character who has already headbutted someone in a Sunderland Under-21 game.

Then comes the scattershot, oh-my-God-we-need-goals salvo of attacking signings. Ola Toivonen? Fine, why not. Fabio Borini? Ah yes, famously keen to play for Sunderland again. Definitely be able to keep them, Jermain Defoe, Lens, Steven Fletcher, Adam Johnson and Danny Graham happy.

Oh and they still might have to pay £7.5million to sign proven Premier League performer Ricky Alvarez. Not ideal.

(Image: @SunderlandAFC)

19. Norwich City

Major ins: Graham Dorrans, Youssouf Mulumbu, Robbie Brady, Andre Wisdom, Dieumerci Mbokani, Matt Jarvis

Major outs: Mark Bunn, Jacob Murphy, Josh Murphy, Michael Turner, Ricky van Wolfswinkel, Bradley Johnson

(Image: Getty)

This isn't really a case of bad signings. Nor are the departing players to be lamented. It's just a little bit meh from the Canaries.

Robbie Brady, to be fair, looks a decent – if pricey – signing and has done really well in the opening weeks of the season. But Youssouf Mulumbu, Matt Jarvis and Andre Wisdom are just squad filler, Graham Dorrans was there last season and Dieumerci Mbokani is a 50:50 shot at glory in attack.

Otherwise, Alex Neil looks set to keep faith with the players who did so well last term. Nothing wrong with that at all, of course, but these rankings are based only on market activity.

(Image: Tony Marshall)

18. Bournemouth

Major ins: Artur Boruc, Adam Federici, Christian Atsu, Tyrone Mings, Sylvain Distin, Max Gradel, Lee Tomlin, Glenn Murray, Joe Bennett, Tomas Andrade

Major outs: Brett Pitman, Ian Harte, Ryan Fraser

(Image: John Powell/Liverpool FC)

The south coast club exceeded all expectations in even reaching the top flight, so no real criticism of Eddie Howe or his bosses here.

But their recruits look a bit hit and miss. Artur Boruc and Sylvain Distin lend experience, but the latter is not even guaranteed a starting place. Christian Atsu didn't do much on loan at Everton. Max Gradel was great last term at St-Etienne but is already injured. Ditto Tyrone Mings, who cost a pretty penny.

Glenn Murray could be an astute addition, but Lee Tomlin looks a gamble at £3.5million.

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17. Watford

Major ins: Sebastian Prodl, Etienne Capoue, Valon Behrami, Allan Nyom, Jose Jurado, Miguel Britos, Nathan Ake, Steven Berghuis, Alessandro Diamanti, Jose Holebas, Obbi Oulare, Adlene Guedioura, Victor Ibarbo

Major outs: Juanfran, Lewis McGugan, Fernando Forestieri, Miguel Layun, Gabriele Angella, Diego Fabbrini, Marco Motta

(Image: Action)

The Hornets have gone for the opposite approach to Norwich, throwing their cards up in the air and hoping they fall kindly.

New boss Quique Sanchez Flores has a full team of new faces, some of which seem like clever signings. Sebastian Prodl, Etienne Capoue and Valon Behrami are in that category and form a strong core.

But elsewhere there are gambles: Miguel Britos is a known hot head, Jose Holebas and Victor Ibarbo could be great or terrible, Alessandro Diamanti will almost certainly score two free-kicks and do nothing else all season.

Then there is the issue of bedding all these new characters in while keeping the old guard – Troy Deeney, Ikechi Anya, etc – happy. A tough ask for any manager, let alone one who has just arrived.

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16. Newcastle United

Major ins: Georginio Wijnaldum, Aleksandar Mitrovic, Chancel Mbemba, Florian Thauvin

Major outs: Jonas Gutierrez, Sammy Ameobi, Ryan Taylor, Remy Cabella

(Image: Getty)

On the one hand, Magpies fans must be pleased that Mike Ashley has finally deigned to open his chequebook after years of weird Wonga austerity. Georginio Wijnaldum certainly looks like a fine addition, while the early signs are that Chancel Mbemba will be a big hit.

On the other, there remain issues unaddressed. Full-back is an area of concern, with Daryl Janmaat rash and Massadio Haidara only now beginning to nail down a regular spot. An injury to Wijnaldum or Jack Colback would leave them light in midfield, too.

Up front, Aleksandar Mitrovic could be the man to finally provide some consistency. He looks fully capable of being the 15-red-card-a-season striker they've been looking for since Duncan Ferguson left. Oh, and Florian Thauvin could be a good acquisition, but they said that about Remy Cabella...

(Image: Stu Forster/Getty)

15. Aston Villa

Major ins: Joleon Lescott, Scott Sinclair, Idrissa Gueye, Micah Richards, Mark Bunn, Jordan Veretout, Jordan Amavi, Jordan Ayew, Rudy Gestede, Adama Traore, Tiago Ilori, Matija Sarkic

Major outs: Christian Benteke, Fabian Delph, Darren Bent, Shay Given, Aly Cissokho, Yacouba Sylla, Antonio Luna, Aleksandar Tonev, Nathan Banker, Nicklas Helenius

This was, more than anything, the summer during which Tim Sherwood forgot he had left the name 'Jordan' in his scouting database search box. In came Amavi (excellent), Veretout (promising) and Ayew (not as good as his brother) in quick succession.

Joleon Lescott, Micah Richards and Scott Sinclair make up a new Man City Anonymous group at Villa Park, while Rudy Gestede and Adama Traore could both work out well in thrillingly different fashions.

All of which sounds fairly positive, but the losses of Fabian Delph and Christian Benteke cannot be overlooked. Far stronger sides would be weakened by their departures.

(Image: Neville Williams)

14. Manchester United

Major ins: Anthony Martial, Matteo Darmian, Bastian Schweinsteiger, Morgan Schneiderlin, Sergio Romero, Memphis Depay

Major outs: Angel Di Maria, Radamel Falcao, Tom Cleverley, Nani, Robin van Persie, Jonny Evans, Tyler Blackett, Adnan Januzaj, Javier Hernandez

(Image: Getty)

It all started so well for Louis van Gaal. United rolled back the years to get business done early, landing Memphis Depay at the start of the summer and adding Matteo Darmian, Bastian Schweinsteiger and Morgan Schneiderlin, all of whom have improved their side.

Since then, though, it's been a hot mess. The David De Gea saga rumbled on interminably and while United eventually kept their man, there remains a sense things have been botched... and that's before you even consider how United were played by Sergio Ramos.

Then there was the Pedro debacle, an error so colossal that no amount of PR spin can restore Ed Woodward's standing among United fans. To top it all, United suddenly had a fire sale in the final days of the window, letting Adnan Januzaj and Javier Hernandez go despite the obvious need for firepower.

Anthony Martial is a good prospect, but the pricetag is absurd for a player with only a handful of first-team starts to his name. The season is barely a month old and Van Gaal is already on the back foot.

IN DEPTH:Anthony Martial scout report

ANALYSIS:Real's De Gea statement vs United's

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13. Chelsea

Major ins: Pedro, Asmir Begovic, Radamel Falcao, Baba Rahman, Nathan, Kenedy, Papy Djilobodji, Michael Hector

Major outs: Petr Cech, Filipe Luis, Juan Cuadrado, Marco van Ginkel, Didier Drogba, Oriol Romeu, Christian Atsu, Patrick Bamford, Nathan Ake, Lucas Piazon

(Image: Nigel French/PA Wire)

The positives: top-quality cover for Thibaut Courtois without the immediate prospect of bench-related frustration, a promising young left-back, the joy of gazumping Manchester United for a player who has all the tools to be a big hit in the Premier League.

The negatives: Jose Mourinho's striking options will look a bit light if Diego Costa's hamstrings keep playing up, plus Cesc Fabregas' wavering form could make an all-action midfielder (cough cough Paul Pogba cough) a priority in the near future.

Then there was the failure to land John Stones, a player they courted in public but failed to get. The difference to last season, when they landed every one of their targets in super-quick time, is vast.

Still, at least they signed Papy Djilobodji and Michael Hector. No, us neither.

12. Tottenham

Major ins: Toby Alderweireld, Kieran Trippier, Clinton Njie, Son Heung-Min, Kevin Wimmer

Major outs: Etienne Capoue, Younes Kaboul, Vlad Chiriches, Paulinho, Roberto Soldado, DeAndre Yedlin, Benjamin Stambouli, Aaron Lennon

Tottenham started the window knowing they had to get plenty out before they got any in.

In that regard they succeeded: Etienne Capoue, Younes Kaboul, Paulinho and Roberto Soldado were all jettisoned, not before time, leaving Daniel Levy ready to do what he does best: wheel and deal.

But he didn't. Not really. Toby Alderweireld arrived, as did Kieran Trippier, Clinton Njie and Son Heung-Min, but the striker they and their talisman Harry Kane so sorely need – cough cough Saido Berahino – didn't.

To go into the rest of the campaign without one is at best careless, at worst negligent. And Spurs could pay big time.

(Image: Reuters / Matthew Childs)

11. Everton

Major ins: Tom Cleverley, Gerard Deulofeu, Mason Holgate, Leandro Rodriguez, Ramiro Funes Mori, Aaron Lennon

Major outs: Sylvain Distin, Antolin Alcaraz, Luke Garbutt

(Image: Everton Facebook)

Pretty middling window all round for the Toffees.

Tom Cleverley is an old Roberto Martinez favourite and adds to Everton's options in midfield. Gerard Deulofeu will be a great addition if he adds consistency to his game and Mason Holgate is tipped for great things. Ramiro Funes Mori could be the long-term successor to Phil Jagielka.

Mainly, though, Everton kept hold of John Stones. They may only get one more season out of him, but that is a big boost.

(Image: Reuters / Toby Melville)

10. West Ham

Major ins: Pedro Obiang, Darren Randolph, Dimitri Payet, Angelo Ogbonna, Manuel Lanzini, Alex Song, Victor Moses, Nikica Jelavic, Michail Antonio

Major outs: Stewart Downing, Carlton Cole, Guy Demel, Nene, Jussi Jaaskelainen, Diego Poyet, Modibo Maiga, Dan Potts, Matt Jarvis

(Image: AFP)

Weird one, this. Dimitri Payet is a dreamy signing in anyone's books and will surely enchant Hammers fans until his inevitable transfer to Arsenal next summer. Pedro Obiang and Angelo Ogbonna were also astute early additions.

The crazy late trolley dash was a bit odd, though. Maybe it was prompted by Enner Valencia's injury and the continuing injury woes of Andy Carroll, but there was a bit of desperation about West Ham's deadline-day dealings. The signings of Alex Song, Nikica Jelavic and Michail Antonio smacked of bets being hedged.

What keeps them in the top half is the Victor Moses coup. He should be a very handy man to have around in the months ahead.

(Image: Getty)

9. Leicester

Major ins: Christian Fuchs, Robert Huth, Shinji Okazaki, N'Golo Kante, Yohan Benalouane, Gokhan Inler, Nathan Dyer

Major outs: Esteban Cambiasso, Paul Konchesky, David Nugent, Ben Hamer, Chris Wood, Liam Moore

(Image: Getty)

Welcome to the League of Nations, now based at the King Power Stadium. Claudio Ranieri has brought in Shinji Okazaki and Christian Fuchs from Germany, Yohan Benalouane and Gokhan Inler from Italy and N'Golo Kante from France, giving his squad a lovely cosmopolitan look.

Esteban Cambiasso's exit is a big blow, but the rest of the players who have left were surplus to requirements, meaning there is every chance that the Foxes can improve on their efforts last season.

You can't ask for much more than that.

(Image: Plumb Images)

8. Arsenal

Major ins: Petr Cech

Major outs: Wojciech Szczesny, Lukas Podolski, Carl Jenkinson, Yaya Sanogo, Serge Gnabry, Chuba Akpom, Abou Diaby

(Image: Getty)

Arsene Wenger's enduring faith in 7/10 goalkeepers finally expired this summer and the arrival of Petr Cech still looks like one of the coups of the transfer window. To pick up one of the world's top five stoppers from such a big rival was no mean feat and the Czech will undoubtedly boost the Gunners' chances of mounting a title challenge.

But there remain sources of frustration for fans, not least Wenger's refusal to reinforce the midfield engine room. Francis Coquelin and Santi Cazorla will be enough against most sides, but the need for a more gritty presence was apparent in the draw with Liverpool.

Oh, and Arsenal are still waiting for the scientists to complete the machine that will fuse Olivier Giroud and Theo Walcott into one perfect striker.

7. Southampton

Major ins: Jordy Clasie, Virgil van Dijk, Oriol Romeu, Maarten Stekelenburg, Cedric Soares, Cuco Martina, Juanmi, Steven Caulker

Major outs: Artur Boruc, Jos Hooiveld, Nathaniel Clyne, Toby Alderweireld, Morgan Schneiderlin, Sam Gallagher

(Image: Sean Ryan/IPS/REX)

Given the vultures swooped for their best players for a second summer in a row, Saints have come out of the summer window in pretty good shape. Nathaniel Clyne and Morgan Schneiderlin will be missed but Ronald Koeman has invested well.

Maarten Stekelenburg is a solid stopper to play while Fraser Forster recovers from injury, Cedric Soares is an energetic right-back, and Steven Caulker, Cuco Martina, Juanmi and Oriol Romeu provide cover.

The picks of the crop, though, are Jordy Clasie and Virgil van Dijk, both of whom have the ability to shine at St Mary's. Plus they kept Sadio Mane and Victor Wanyama. For now, at least.

6. Liverpool

Major ins: Christian Benteke, Danny Ings, James Milner, Roberto Firmino, Nathaniel Clyne, Joe Gomez, Adam Bogdan

Major outs: Steven Gerrard, Raheem Sterling, Glen Johnson, Sebastian Coates, Rickie Lambert, Andre Wisdom

(Image: LFC)

Brendan Rodgers put the scattershot post-Luis-Suarez signing splurge out of his mind and plunged into the transfer market with abandon this summer.

Of the new additions, Christian Benteke, James Milner and Nathaniel Clyne are all proven Premier League performers and will improve the side, even if the bedding-in period is proving a touch fraught. Roberto Firmino has the ability to excite fans in the same way Raheem Sterling once did, if he can settle.

Out has gone plenty of dead wood, although Steven Gerrard's exit leaves the squad looking just a touch short on leadership. A commanding centre-back who isn't Dejan Lovren wouldn't have gone amiss either.

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5. West Brom

Major ins: Salomon Rondon, James Chester, Serge Gnabry, Anders Lindegaard, Jonny Evans, James McClean, Rickie Lambert

Major outs: Graham Dorrans, Chris Baird, Youssouf Mulumbu, Brown Ideye, Joleon Lescott

Tony Pulis' undying love for centre-backs prompted moves for Jonny Evans and James Chester, both of whom should be useful signings, even if the fee for the latter (£8million) seems more than a little generous.

Serge Gnabry and Anders Lindegaard are both acceptable filler players, James McClean is sparky enough, and Rickie Lambert and Salomon Rondon should plunder their fair share of goals for the Baggies. The former could be a bargain at £12million after falling foul of foreign-player quotas in Russia.

The departing players won't be missed too much, while the absence of Saido Berahino's name in the outs column also represents a big victory. The only problem will be if he sulks and becomes a disruptive influence.

(Image: Steve Paston/PA Wire)

4. Stoke City

Major ins: Xherdan Shaqiri, Marco van Ginkel, Joselu, Shay Given, Philipp Wollscheid, Glen Johnson, Ibrahim Afellay

Major outs: Steven N'Zonzi, Asmir Begovic, Andy Wilkinson, Thomas Sorensen, Wilson Palacios

(Image: Martin Rickett/PA Wire)

Stoke sold arguably their two best players, Asmir Begovic going to Chelsea and Steven N'Zonzi heading to Sevilla. But Potters fans will nonetheless be feeling rather pleased with their summer business when they looks at the ins column.

Mark Hughes continues to build the squad in his image, swapping old-Stoke stalwarts like Andy Wilkinson and Wilson Palacios for silky new-Stoke prototypes like Glen Johnson and Marco van Ginkel.

Then there are players like Ibrahim Afellay and Xherdan Shaqiri, who join Bojan and Marko Arnautovic in the Britiannia Career Redemption Clique.

Great stuff.

3. Crystal Palace

Major ins: Yohan Cabaye, Bakary Sako, Alex McCarthy, Connor Wickham, Patrick Bamford

Major outs: Jerome Thomas, Peter Ramage, Jerome Binnom-Williams, Glenn Murray, Adlene Guedioura

First observation: the players that left – with the exception of Glenn Murray – were fundamentally not cutting it in the top flight anyway, so Alan Pardew has chopped away some of the dead wood at the club. This is to be praised.

Second observation: Bakary Sako and Alex McCarthy were great additions, while Patrick Bamford is a smart loan acquisition, even if first-team minutes are likely to be hard to come by.

Third observation: Palace paid £7million for Connor Wickham. This seems like a lot.

Fourth observation: Palace signed Yohan Cabaye. A few weeks have gone by since this happened and the shock is starting to wear off a touch, so let me just type that again. Palace signed Yohan Cabaye. Bravo, Pardieu.

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2. Swansea

Major ins: Eder, Andre Ayew, Franck Tabanou, Kristoffer Nordfeldt

Major outs: Jazz Richards, Modou Barrow, Gerhard Tremmel, Dwight Tiendalli, Nathan Dyer

(Image: Reuters / Rebecca Naden)

It's been a smooth summer for Garry Monk and his band of entertainers.

Andre Ayew's addition always looked an exciting one and the Ghanaian has hit the ground running with a series of fine displays. The fact that Swansea picked him up for nothing speaks volumes about the quality of their scouting network.

Eder and Franck Tabanou will provide competition, while none of those leaving will be too sorely missed (with due respect to the pint-sized trooper that is Nathan Dyer). The summer leaves the Swans with a squad more than capable of putting together another impressive season in the top flight. Good stuff all round.

1. Manchester City

Major ins: Fabian Delph, Kevin De Bruyne, Nicolas Otamendi, Raheem Sterling, Patrick Roberts, Enes Unai

Major outs: Edin Dzeko, Stevan Jovetic, James Milner, John Guidetti, Micah Richards, Scott Sinclair, Frank Lampard, Dedryck Boyata

(Image: AFP/Getty)

It's hard to imagine how the summer could have gone more smoothly for the Blues.

In have come the player of the season in Germany last term, two of the most talented young English players out there, a reliable international centre-back who will provide competition at the back, and two kids who have been tipped for bright futures.

Out have gone a number of players who were probably growing frustrated at a lack of first-team opportunities, plus a couple who failed to develop as hoped. The squad is a touch thinner now, but at least all those at Manuel Pellegrini's disposal will feel part of things.

Just don't mention Financial Fair Play...