COLLEGES keen to equip students with key life skills are introducing a National Vocational Qualification in putting a cover on a duvet.

The two-year course will combine theory and practice, comparing the major schools of thought in duvet-changing, from British single to European super-king.

Modules include ‘turning it inside out’, ‘just shove the bastard in there’ and ‘plumping the fuck out of it’.

Lecturer Norman Steele said: “More than 80 percent of Britain’s 18 to 40 year-olds have become trapped in duvet covers and end up sobbing quietly like a sad, chunky ghost.

“One of our 19-year-old students lost his mum, when she got stuck inside a tricky corner and had a nervous breakdown.

“He never forgave himself, because it was his SpongeBob set.”