I'm still single, dating still sucks and I'm starting to wonder: do I just make things more complicated than they need to be?

Dating another Aboriginal person is tricky, because in a small region like the Kimberley, there's every chance we could be related.

But dating someone outside of my race makes that problem go away.

Yes, tall, dark and handsome still makes me go 'Mmm…', but the band Offspring didn't tell lies when they sang "pretty fly for a white guy".

It makes me question my race

But before I start getting jiggy with a vanilla slice, my thought bubble bursts and I catch myself thinking, is he attracted to black girls?

And it's made me wonder — is it only women of colour who question their race when crushing on a white guy?

Do others worry that their new dude might be unintentionally a little bit racist?

My experiences with Caucasian men have been interesting, to put it lightly.

I once flirted with a young man who was a pilot. He constantly asked if we could spend more time together. Later I found out that he'd been calling other Aboriginal people in the area 'boongs'.

Learning this put me in a difficult spot. Was I an experiment? Did he think I was one of the 'good Aboriginals'?

Not wanting to take any chances, I decided to get the hell out of there.

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Five things that cross my mind

I've since learnt that some things aren't so easy to understand, especially when it comes to dating. It's not like I can go to the library and read up on it, what would I even look for? "How to find out if you're dating a racist?"

One of my biggest fears when meeting a white fella is their potential lack of cultural awareness. What if they only like me because I LOOK black, and not because I AM black?

These days when I'm considering dating a guy that's not Aboriginal, I have a shopping list of questions I'd like answered first:

Has he dated a black girl before?

Has he dated a black girl before? What if I'm his first black girl?

What if I'm his first black girl? Worse! Does he have a black fetish?

Worse! Does he have a black fetish? What if he gives me a pet names like 'hot chocolate' or anything else referring to edibles?

What if he gives me a pet names like 'hot chocolate' or anything else referring to edibles? Am I just to be ticked off on his smash list?

Warning signs include any pet name that refers to the colour of her skin. ( ABC Life: Luke Tribe )

Dating as a black woman is rife with unknowns.

As Aboriginal people we say we walk in two worlds: the black and the white.

And you can't be with someone if they're blind to seeing your world, I've learnt.

When you date, it starts with the looks and then maybe some conversation.

Throughout history, Aboriginal women (and many white women also) have had to protect themselves from white men.

In the words of Malcolm X: "The most disrespected person in America is the black woman". Well damn! The same could be said for Australia.

There's still a sense that Aboriginal women aren't as beautiful or deserving of love and respect than other women. This year an old clip of South African comedian Trevor Noah criticising the appearance of Aboriginal women surfaced — this man of colour was ridiculing us black women!

Also, there's a bunch of cringe-worthy sexual stereotypes to navigate. How dreadful to have to negotiate the saying, "Once you go black, you never go back". Gross.

I recently spoke to a woman of colour about my dilemma. I asked her if she would date a white man.

"Hell yeah… but it'll be a bit harder," she said.

"He wouldn't understand my lifestyle."

Can you relate? We'd love to hear about your stories of dating outside your race. Email us at life@abc.net.au

Topics that make me hold my breath

Most couples will get to a point in their relationship when things start to get a bit more serious. It'll prompt different conversations, either it's shall we get a dog? Or should we move in together?

But I'm dating someone who isn't Aboriginal, I dread other types of conversations because our whole relationship depends on how they pan out.

For me, they're things like:

Does he celebrate Australia Day? Now this is a sensitive subject as I do not, and never have celebrated this day.

Does he celebrate Australia Day? Now this is a sensitive subject as I do not, and never have celebrated this day. Black face — does he think it's harmless?

Black face — does he think it's harmless? Tony Abbott as special envoy on Indigenous affairs? Thoughts?

Tony Abbott as special envoy on Indigenous affairs? Thoughts? And what about the closure of remote communities?

Expecting him to have all the right answers is unrealistic. But you can tell when someone means well and when they don't.

And if he doesn't agree with all my views, INSTANT BREAK UP!

Ah, I'm kidding but it would cross my mind. But what I would do in this situation is keep the conversation going, to discover each other's perspectives.

That said, there is limit to how many ignorant racist perspectives a person of colour can endure, and I shouldn't have to continuously defend myself, my race, or my people. But sadly, that's our life.

When I have called my dates out on their ignorance — there's been a mixed response.

The ones that are still in my life have shown empathy.

The others… well, you know what happened to them, they died! (Joking!)

But you need to call them out, otherwise they won't have the opportunity to learn.

Advice for other women of colour

If you're a woman of colour and find yourself in the same situation, here are my thoughts.

Personally, I hate confrontation because I'm not very good at it. Really — I fold like a cheap suit. But when it comes to defending myself, my culture and my people — a warrior rises inside me with a shield and spear ready to battle.

So, when you're calling someone out, don't beat around the bush. If you feel it in your guts and it's sitting there swelling up — JUST BE STRAIGHT UP.

And look, I don't have all the right words or advice but getting involved with someone who disrespects your race is something to be wary of, because a romantic relationship isn't just mutual attraction and shared interests.

You're letting someone into your culture, allowing them to see your world, and know your identity, which is really special.

Remember that, my black women — you're special!

Every month ABC Kimberley presenter Molly Hunt shares a new lesson in love with ABC Life.