By: Robert Hickman and Ben Haymond

The nation is deeply divided over the issue of gay marriage, despite the Supreme Court’s decision, and that division is not likely to change any time soon. Discussions concerning this division too often consist of insults being thrown from one side to the other and back again. Instead, we should seek to understand those who disagree with us and try to explain our own thinking as well. That does not mean that anyone needs to change their minds or compromise their moral convictions, but it does mean that we need to be patient and tolerant while discussing each other’s beliefs.

This post is written in that spirit. We will explain as clearly as we can how our opposition to same-sex marriage is rooted in our faith in God, our love for our fellow man, and our desire for others to be truly happy. Please consider it.

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (the LDS church), our beliefs are all based on scripture and guidance of God-inspired leaders of the LDS church. However, all of the opinions we discuss in this article are our own and do not represent any other person or organization.

We believe in God’s infinite love

We believe that every human being is a child of God, and that God loves each of His children with an infinite love. He knows each of us by name. He rejoices with us when we are happy and weeps with us when we are sad.

This is expressed in two passages of scripture. The first recounts how the Old Testament prophet Enoch is taken to heaven, where he witnesses God weeping over the wickedness of the people on the earth. When Enoch asks God why He weeps, God responds saying, “… wherefore should not the heavens weep, seeing these shall suffer?” (Moses 7:37)

The other comes from John’s account of the gospel. “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life” (John 3:16). Truly, God loves us more than we can understand, so much that he allowed His Son to suffer and be humiliated so that we could be saved from sin. In His love, God only does that which will help us be truly and eternally happy.

We believe obedience to God brings joy and eternal life

As members of the LDS faith, we believe that the purpose of life is to live the way God wants us to, be happy, and ultimately live with Him after we die.

We don’t believe that we should follow God “just because he says so,” but rather, because we believe Him to be perfectly wise and perfectly loving to all of His children. We believe that He knows what is best for us and that following His plan and His commandments is the way to the greatest possible happiness in this life and in eternity afterwards. If we do not live the way God wants, then we will miss out on the perfect joy our loving God wants for us. As C.S. Lewis, the well-known Christian author, wrote, “God cannot give us happiness and peace apart from Himself, because it is not there. There is no such thing.” (Mere Christianity)

We believe that marriage between a man and a woman is central to God’s plan

Much of what we believe about God’s plan is described in a document called “The Family: A Proclamation to the World.” We believe God inspired the leaders of our church to write this document. It states, “Marriage between man and woman is essential to [God’s] eternal plan.” In other words, traditional marriage is what will help us be happiest.

The Proclamation states that “Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose.” We believe that God made women and men different and gave them complementary roles and responsibilities within the family as part of His plan. In their differences, men and women should have equal rights and be given equal respect.

We believe God commands us to “multiply and replenish the earth”

The Proclamation also states, “We declare that God’s commandment for His children to multiply and replenish the earth remains in force.” This means that we believe that just as God commanded Adam and Eve to have children in the Biblical account, he commands us to do the same. The Proclamation further states, “Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity.” We believe that because of the differences between men and women, there is something about being raised by a mother and a father that is inherently better for a child.

We recognize that when comparing specific couples, some homosexual couples may be more responsible parents than some heterosexual couples, but we still believe that God’s plan is the best way. We do not pretend to understand every aspect of God’s plan for His children. As Isaiah said in the Old Testament, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the Lord. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts” (Isaiah 55:8-9). We recognize our own limited understanding, and we have faith that if we follow and support God’s plan, we will all be better off.

Redefining marriage will not “maintain and strengthen the family”

The last sentence of the proclamation reads, “We call upon responsible citizens and officers of government everywhere to promote those measures designed to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society.” We believe that the re-definition of marriage not only fails to maintain and strengthen the family as the fundamental unit of society, it does harm to it.

When marriage between a man and a woman is no longer held in the law as something distinct, special, and valuable, it will inevitably have effects on American culture. Among other things, less men and women will desire to get married and to have children.

Legalizing and celebrating gay marriage and homosexual behavior has many possible adverse effects. It could weaken some people’s resolve to live their beliefs, cause confusion and misunderstanding for children and others being taught about God’s plan, and possibly even cause changes in some people’s sexual preferences.

We try to love everyone and want them to be happy, so we share our faith

While we believe the normalization of homosexual behavior to be harmful in one way, it is helpful in another, because it encourages awareness and leads people to be more kind to those of the LGBTQ community. We grieve over the heartache caused by many who misguidedly persecute those of the LGBTQ community and we pray that both the persecutors and persecuted will receive the healing and peace available to all who come closer to a loving God.

We are against hatred and persecution of the LGBTQ community. Jesus taught us to love everyone, and we believe that by following God’s plan, our love and understanding will grow. “He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love” (1 John 4:8).

Because we love our gay friends, family, and acquaintances, and we want them to be happy, we want them to live according to God’s plan. We are against the redefinition of marriage because we want people to have true joy in this life and to return to God in eternal happiness after they die. We believe that gay marriage and the redefinition of marriage makes it harder for everyone to do that, regardless of which side of the issue they stand on.

We hope that an explanation of the beliefs that motivate us can help create understanding. We do not try to force our beliefs on others out of hate or a desire for control. What we do try to do is share our faith out of love and a strong belief that it really is the way to the greatest possible happiness. In other words, we are against gay marriage because we love our gay family, friends, and acquaintances and want them to be happy.