Being a gay Christian of a Pacific Island ethnicity was never easy. But this year it got harder. Israel Folau’s Instagram post in April, claiming hell awaited unrepentant gay people, led to his sacking by the Australian Rugby Union and a drawn-out legal battle. After its settlement this month, Folau and his supporters espoused a narrative of “vindication” and “victory”.

Andre Afamasaga ... a gay, Samoan Christian and former pastor. In an attempt to suppress his sexuality, he attended conversion therapy, since discredited. "I was also lonely, self-hating and suicidal."

But if Folau is the victor, who are the losers? Contrary to popular thought, the loser is neither a sporting code nor a large corporation. Nor even liberalism. The unseen casualties in this controversy are LGBTIQ+ people from Pacific Island and Christian communities. This saga reveals a homophobia deeply rooted in religious beliefs and cultural values. Folau, a Christian of Tongan descent, is merely a product of his environment.

I am using this article to publicly come out because I am troubled by a growing resentment towards LGBTIQ+ people. As a gay Samoan man and former pastor, I worry about the pain caused by the Folau saga and that Christianity will be characterised by politicking and gatekeeping rather than Jesus' love.

This is my story. I have spent most of my life in the closet. This included the many years when I was a pastor in south-west Sydney. Fear of judgment by my Christian colleagues and friends, and feeling responsible to those who looked up to me, prevented me from accepting myself.