Chapter 3: Maths are Hard

After defeating the Dark Lord and swiping the legendary Philosopher's Stone out from under his nose, getting to play quidditch for the house team was a bit of a let down. Ron let Harry take over for the Hufflepuff game, which ended quickly in victory when Harry caught the snitch only 15 minutes in.

"That was brilliant!" Harry cheered as he hopped down off his broom.

Angelina and Katie frowned at him. "What a moment, aren't you Harry?"

"Obviously not, I've got Ron's broom here and I'm clearly a Weasley, what with my red hair and freckles," Harry protested.

Angelina rolled her eyes. "Harry, you're practically a Weasley already as far as everyone's concerned. You're not fooling anyone."

"Obviously I did, otherwise someone would have noticed I was playing instead of Ron before the game was over."

"Shut it, all of you," Oliver ordered, coming over and giving Harry a big hug. He had tears on his cheeks. "If he say's he's Ron Weasley then he's bloody well Ron Weasley. I'm not having any of you ruin this moment."

"All I did was catch the snitch," Harry protested.

Oliver looked at Harry like he was bonkers. "That's only the most important thing in the world. And you waited until we were 30 points up! We'll have that cup yet."

Then Ron came over and swapped places with Harry, so that when the cheering crowd descended they really did think it had been Ron up there the whole time.

"Next time it's your turn again," Harry promised.

Ron grinned and winked. "You know, I don't think even Fred and George could pull a prank this brilliant off."

In the final game of the season, Ron flew much more confidently. Though he didn't catch the snitch, he managed to distract Cho Chang the Ravenclaw seeker long enough that Gryffindor lost by only 30 points, leading to their victory in the Quidditch Cup as they had scored the most points overall. He grinned happily as he held up the trophy for the Daily Prophet photo op along with Harry.

"Now we just need to open a joke shop for Fred and George and everyone's dream will have come true," Harry said as they made their way up to the common room for the party.

"I wonder what Hermione's dream is," Ron pondered.

Hermione sighed. "A quiet, peaceful day, where nothing goes wrong or explodes and everyone does their homework."

"We really need to get you a new dream," Ron said.

Harry nodded his agreement. "That one's really boring. What about becoming a princess or head girl or something?"

Hermione rolled her eyes and huffed. "Considering who I keep company with, I think none of those things are likely."

"Well, Bill was head boy," Ron pointed out. "Maybe it runs in the family. You'd be the first Weasley head girl in at least seven generations."

"I'm only an honorary Weasley, Ron," Hermione lectured. "Maybe Ginny can be the first head girl."

"Nah, she'll be quidditch captain for sure," Harry declared.

Ron looked at him as if he were mental. "But Ginny doesn't even play quidditch."

"Shows what you know. She says she's a better flier than any of us except maybe Charlie."

"Yeah, right. I'll believe that when I bloody well see it."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/

The end of term arrived, and Harry felt an increasing sense of sadness as he packed his trunk. "I'll really miss you over the holidays," Harry told Ron, Fred, and George, who were all helping pack up for the train.

"Why?" George asked, shutting the lid to Harry's trunk.

"Well, obviously because I've got to go back and live with my horrible relatives and you all go get to live in the together," Harry said, slowly as if explaining something to a simpleton.

"And why on earth would you do that?" Fred demanded.

Harry blinked. "Because I live with my relatives, and they're my legal guardians?"

Ron shrugged. "Well obviously, but they're a bunch of rotter's from what you've said. So why do you want to go live with them?"

Harry looked at the other three with a growing sense of suspicion. "I don't want to live with them, I think you know that."

"Right, so it's settled then. You'll just have to come back to the Burrow with us," Fred declared.

George slapped Harry on the back. "Don't forget, we've been working on mum since the start of term."

"We've written about you and referred to you as a Weasley so much I'd be surprised if she doesn't call Ron here Harry the first time she see's him," Fred agreed.

Ron grinned and winked. "I told you, we Weasley's stick together. Just follow our lead. We've been bamboozling mum for ages."

"Too right, it's dad we've got to worry about."

"And once mum hears your sob story there's no way she's letting you go."

"Personally, I half suspect she adopted half of us."

"Percy for sure; he's obviously from a different egg if you know what I mean. Ow!"

Both twins rubbed the back of their heads and glared at Percy, who had just come up the stairs. "All finished everyone?"

"Yes," Harry agreed, studying Percy carefully. "Are you in on the plan?"

"What plan?" Percy asked, looking at Fred and George suspiciously. "Are you two going to try and smuggle home that devil's snare that Professor Dumbledore's been keeping in his office?"

"No, Professor Sprout caught us with it and nicked it."

"The plan to smuggle me into the Burrow," Harry explained.

Percy shrugged. "It's hardly smuggling to make sure my newest kid brother ends up where he belongs. Oof! Not so tight Harry! Your arms are quite strong after all that quidditch practice, no need to hug me to death. And please, try not to cry on my robes, I want them to look nice when mother sees me."

On the ride back, Percy gave everyone their marching orders. "Now, Ginny's in on this too. She's to call you Ron, Harry, and Ron will be referred to as Percy. I'm going to Charlie and Bill both. If she calls anyone but Harry, Harry, respond and act as though she said your proper name. Fred and George, you're confusing enough for everyone else as it is and can go by your proper names."

"Right, we'll be Gred and Feorge then."

"Don't over complicate things," Percy told them, looking a bit annoyed.

"Are you sure this is legal?" Hermione asked. "I think it might constitute kidnapping."

"It's only kidnapping if you get caught," Fred explained.

Hermione frowned, but decided to refrain from arguing. Harry had mentioned in passing just how horrid his relatives were, and frankly she was a bit relieved he wasn't going back to a potentially abusive home.

When they got off at the train station, Ginny ran up and gave Harry a hug. "I've missed you so much Ron," she said quite loudly.

Several passing students eyed the Weasley family suspiciously, especially since Harry was being called Ron by the female of the species. However, Hermione Granger, who was rumored to have successfully exploded a troll and had tricked You-Know-Who himself into giving her the Philosopher's Stone, was glaring around at anyone who might have contradicted Ginny, so everyone wisely went on their ways.

"Come on Percy," Percy said to Ron. "Take your trunk."

"Hi mum, we're Gred and Feorge," the twins said cheerily.

"Oh stop it you two," Mrs. Weasley said, hugging them both tightly. Next she kissed Harry on the cheek. "Welcome home Ron." Then she moved on, but paused just as she was about to kiss the real Ron, a frown on her face.

"Aren't you going to kiss Percy too?" the twins asked, grinning from ear to ear.

Shaking her head, Molly did kiss Ron. "Stop it, I know this is Ron, stop being so silly you two. No more pranks, I've been at work all day making us a lovely dinner for when your father gets home."

Everyone grabbed the trunks, and Harry kept his head down as they walked out of King's Cross station to the curb where they would be catching the wizarding Knight Bus. He saw the Dursley's waiting for him, and waved to them merrily as he went by. His uncle glared at him, until he saw Harry pile into the Weasley's car with the rest of the brood.

"Well, good riddance anyway," Vernon Dursley grumbled, starting his car and driving away without a second thought as to where his nephew was going.

Percy ended up being the one who drove (Harry wondered privately if that was strictly legal, but since he was the one being kidnapped he decided it was best not to mention it).

Fred, George, Ginny, and Ron kept up a running row that had their mother all in a tizzy, while Harry quietly sat in the back seat and made himself as unobtrusive as possible.

"Ronald, stop bickering with your sister! Honestly, it's the first time in a month you've seen her! Ginny, you had the window on the way here let Ron have it."

"But mum, that's Harry," Fred corrected.

"Oh, sorry, Harry," Mrs. Weasley said absently. "Percy, watch where you're going! You nearly hit that poor old muggle woman!"

"Mum, maybe I should just engage the invisibility cloak and fly us away? Traffic's going to be dreadful and I've only practiced a few times."

"No, no, we don't want to stick out," Mrs. Weasley said. "Fred! George! Put those wands away! You're not at school anymore, and if you do anything reckless while we're in muggle London your father will never hear the end of it at work. Eck! Ronald, put this rat away!"

Harry reached forward and took Scabbers, ducking his head as he did so. "Yes mum."

"Thank you, Ronald," Mrs. Weasley said. "Oh! Percy! That bus nearly hit us! You're giving me a heart attack. No, turn left here, you're in the wrong lane."

"You could always drive yourself you know," Percy grumbled. "This isn't as easy as it looks."

"Oh, sorry dear. I just worry with all your siblings you know. You're really a much better driver than I am, can't understand these muggle contraptions."

"Too right, Bill here is always sticking his nose where it doesn't belong," George said.

Mrs. Weasley glared at him in the mirror. "Fred Weasley! You're doing that on purpose, trying to get me mixed on the names."

"Well woman, if you could tell the difference between me and Fred maybe I wouldn't feel so abused," George sulked.

"Oh, sorry George! Wait, you are George aren't you? Where's your mole?"

"I've got the mole, not George," Fred protested, showing his mole free neck. "See?"

A double decker bus honked loudly at Percy as he darted in front of it, running a red light.

"That's it, I'm turning on the invisibility cloak," Percy declared. "These muggles are all mad and I don't know how to drive properly."

"Oh, Percy don't be like that, you're doing a wonderful job. No, not this way, that's back where we came from!"

"Sod it," Percy grumbled, and turned on the invisibility cloak and drove the car up onto the roof tops. "Don't say a word, I'll land once we get out of the city and there isn't so much traffic."

Despite Percy's rather inexpert driving and Mrs. Weasley's even more inexpert advice, everyone arrived at home safe and sound. Harry immediately hurried inside after Ron while Percy and Ginny distracted Mrs. Weasley by arguing over Percy's driving.

"Do you think she'll get suspicious? You lot are fighting constantly," Harry whispered as they made their way upstairs.

Ron frowned. "What? No, Ginny wasn't even pretending about that last one; she really is mad that Percy hit a rabbit and wouldn't go back to see if it was alright."

"What about you and Fred and George fighting over the window seat?"

"Oh, we do that all the time, those hogs never let me have a turn. Listen, don't worry: If anything mum will get suspicious because you're not fighting with anyone."

"Weird," Harry muttered.

Once everything was stowed away Mrs. Weasley ordered everyone outside, ostensibly so they could get some fresh air.

"She just wants a quiet cuppa before dinner," Percy explained to Harry. "It's best to let her have it. She get's really irritable if she doesn't."

"She seemed pretty irritated at you and Ginny for trying to yell each other's heads off," Harry observed.

Ginny snorted. "Honestly Harry, have you never argued with your brothers before? We were practically civil."

"I didn't have any brothers until recently," Harry pointed out.

"Well, we'll just have to make up for lost time won't me?" Fred and George said, then they both threw Harry in the duck pond.

"I'll bloody well drown you both!" Harry gasped as he struggled out of the pond, his hair mostly green now with pond scum. "You've ruined my trainers!"

"They didn't fit you anyway," Fred said, grabbing Harry's hands and lifting him off the ground when he futilely tried to dunk the older boy under the water.

George slipped the trainers off and handed Harry a used but clean pair. "Here, these are one of our old ones, not sure whose. They'll probably fit you better."

"I'm still miffed you threw me in the pond," Harry muttered, but he was happy enough to change into the new shoes, and Percy helpfully dried him off his wand, though the pond scum stayed.

About half an hour later, Mrs. Weasley ordered everyone back inside to get cleaned up for dinner.

"Bill, why were you swimming in the pond?" Mrs Weasley asked as Harry came inside. "And Harry, please wipe your shoes off when you come inside; this is a house, not a barn."

The last bit was directed at George, who grinned and wiped his shoes off. "Finally, someone gets my name right!"

Mrs. Weasley turned back to finish getting dinner ready. "Oh, sorry dear, I don't know where my mind is today."

Once he was freshly scrubbed, Ron loaned Harry a set of clothes, "I got them off of Percy last year anyway," and they all trouped down to dinner.

Just as they were sitting, the odd grandfather clock in the corner chimed and a balding man with a bit of a paunch stepped into the house.

"Good evening Weasleys!" He cried, holding his arms open wide.

"Good evening dad," everyone, including Harry, chorused. The other children rushed over to give their dad hugs, though Harry discreetly hung back and circled around while Mr. Weasley was shaking Percy's hand and telling him how proud he was that he'd faced down You-Know-Who to save his siblings.

They all sat at the table, and Mr. Weasley beamed around at them. "It is so good to have all of us home again! They house has been practically empty since you all left for skill with just Ginny, your mother and I, and it's good to have...the...eight? Of us?" Mr. Weasley paused, and did a quick head count. "Why are their eight of us?" He scanned the see of freckled, ginger faces, frowning and mouthing names as he counted. He skipped right over Harry, then did a double take and looked back, his eyes slightly crossed. "Who are you then?"

"That's Ron, dear," Mrs. Weasley said without looking up.

Mr Weasley glanced back and forth between Ron and Harry. "No, he's Ron. Who's that?"

"I'm Harry," Harry said helpfully.

Mrs Weasley nodded absently as she poured drinks for everyone. "Yes dear, that's Harry, of course, sorry love."

Taking a quick mental inventory, Mr. Weasley slowly shook his head. "Molly dear, I seem to recall that we have seven children."

"Of course," Molly agreed, sitting down and passing around the basket of bread rolls to the already eating children. "Bill, Charlie, Harry, Percy, Fred, George, Ron and Ginny. Bill and Charlie are gone of course so that leaves us with five."

"Dear, that's eight names, not seven," Mr. Weasley said, still frowning at Harry, who was eating as quickly as he could. This didn't seem to be all that out of the ordinary, as the rest of the brood was eating as if the food would be gone if they didn't hurry, which indeed it would. "And there are six children here, not five."

Finally focusing, Mrs. Weasley did a headcount of her own. George helpfully hid under the table as she did so. "No dear, that's five."

"Fred, get out from under the table while your mother is counting," Mr. Weasley ordered. "Right, everyone sound off. You."

"Percy."

"Fred."

"George."

"Ron."

"Ginny."

"Harry."

"That's it!" Mr. Weasley said, becoming excited as he jabbed a finger at Harry. "That's the one that doesn't belong. We don't have a Harry!"

Mrs. Weasley reviewed her own mental list of names, frowning. "I could have sworn there was a Harry."

"No dear, it's Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred, George, Ron, and Ginny. No Harry."

Pursing her lips, Mrs. Weasley studied Harry. "Where did you come from then dear?"

"Hogwarts," Harry said, slurping up his soup.

"We all did," Ron added.

Ginny elbowed him. "I didn't, in case you forgot!"

"Well, I meant us boys, you don't have to be-"

"Stop it!" Mr. Weasley clapped his hands. "Right, everyone, if you're a Weasley, stand up."

Everyone stood.

Mr. Weasley frowned. "Harry, sit down, you're not a Weasley."

All the children sat down.

"No, you lot stand up, Harry sits! He is not a Weasley!"

"He's adopted," Percy said seriously.

When all the other children nodded, Mrs. Weasley started to nod as well, then shook her head. "We've never adopted anyone! Harry, where are your parents?"

"I don't rightly know," Harry admitted.

George elbowed his mother. "He was sort of hoping you'd be his mum, seeing as how his original one is dead."

Maternal instincts, honed to a razor edge over the years, took over and Mrs. Weasley wrapped Harry in a warm embrace. "Oh, you poor dear! What happened to them?" As she hugged Harry, she stroked his hair, revealing a lightning shaped scar.

Mr. Weasley (and Ginny) gasped. "You're no Weasley!" Mr. Weasley declared. "You're a Potter! Harry Potter!"

"You didn't tell me you were that Harry!" Ginny squeaked, covering her mouth with her hands.

Mrs. Weasley let Harry go, and he flushed. "Well, I had heard that Harry Potter was a bit of a git, so I was in the market for a new name."

"So we gave him one!" Fred said happily. "Right, can we have pudding now that that's sorted out? Harry's a bit skinny you know."

Mr. Weasley shook his head firmly. "There will be no pudding until we sort this out. Harry, please, where do you belong? We've got to get you to your proper place."

"He belongs right here, dad," Ron declared, folding his arms across his chest. "His relatives are the worst kind of muggles. He told us all about it: they never even let him play quidditch."

"Ronald, that's because muggles don't have brooms, or even know what quidditch is," Mr. Weasley explained patiently.

Fred and George gasped in horror. "Barbarians! There's no way you could possibly send Harry back to such a uncivilized environment."

"Muggles are just as good as we are," Mr. Weasley said. "Even if they are a bit strange. Listen, Harry, I'm terribly sorry, this isn't the first time Molly has grabbed another unsuspecting red head and carried them along home. That poor muggle boy was so confused by the anti muggle charms it took us nearly three hours to figure out where he was supposed to be. But you look alright, surely you can tell us where you're staying? With your relatives I hope?"

"I lived in the cupboard at 4 Privet Drive," Harry admitted, deflating a bit. It looked like he wouldn't get to stay at all. "Thanks for the supper though, my aunt never feeds me this well."

"Oh, Arthur, he has to at least stay for pudding. We can take him home in the morning. Surely that would be alright?" Mrs. Weasley asked, her voice taking on a concerned tone.

Mr. Weasley hesitated, but one look at the pleading expressions on all six, no, wait, it was five, of his children, and he caved. "Well alright. But first thing in the morning, and Harry has to go back to his relatives. Then we can all have a nice family picnic in the country. No, that doesn't mean Harry's coming as well, even if he does have red hair. No, I don't care if the sorting Hat placed him in the 'Weasley' house, that isn't real."

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\\/\/\

As it turned out, nothing in the Weasley Burrow happened first thing in the morning. First, there was breakfast.

"Good morning Weasleys," Mr. Weasley said.

"Good morning," everyone, including Harry, said.

Mr. Weasley had to do another head count. "Oh, right, good morning Harry."

"Good morning," all the children replied.

"Stop that," Mr. Weasley said, though a smile was tugging at his lips.

After breakfast was the Daily Morning Shower Battle Royale.

"Ginny, get out of the shower it's my turn!" Percy hollered, banging on the door.

"No it's not, I've only had five minutes!"

"It's been fifteen! Oi, Fred, George, it's not your turn yet!"

"We have to go before you or you take all the hot water Princess Perse."

Ginny darted out of the shower, her wet hair in a towel on her head. "Eek!" she cried when Harry saw her, though she was fully dressed in her pajamas. Harry yawned, and snuck in while the others were fighting.

As soon as he shut the door though, everyone started yelling at him.

"It's my turn now," Harry shouted back as he stepped into the shower. "I still stink of pond scum!"

"That's just your feet you little monster, now get out before you use up all the hot water!"

"How do you run out of hot water if this place is run magically?" Harry demanded as he shampooed his hair.

There was silence for a moment. "How do we run out of hot water?" Fred (or maybe George's) voice asked.

"Obviously because the salamander in the water tank gets tired," Percy's voice explained. "Oi, Harry, hurry it up, it was my turn!"

Once the bathroom was sorted out, everyone helpfully took turns hiding Harry's possessions so that he couldn't leave just yet. First, Hedwig had somehow joined Errol in the tree out front, and had to be coaxed down. Then, Harry couldn't find his old trainers. When Percy fished them out of the pond, Mr Weasley declared that they were unfit for man nor beast, and that Harry could just borrow an old pair of Fred's (or possibly George's, no one was certain). After that, it was Ron's trunk that had Harry's belongings in it, which had to be repacked into Harry's trunk.

Then everyone got in the car, then got back out again when Ginny protested that she'd left her sunglasses inside. When it turned out Ginny did not, in fact, have sunglasses, they all got back in, then got back out again because everyone needed to go to the bathroom. They were just about out to the lane when Mrs. Weasley realized she'd forgotten the picnic basket, so they turned around, went back, got the picnic basket, and finally, they managed to leave.

"I think I've forgotten my wand," Ron announced.

"Good," his father declared. "Maybe you won't get up to as much trouble."

"Oh, never mind, Harry had it."

By the time they made their way to Little Whinging, it was nearly the end of lunchtime, and everyone was hungry and grumpy. Harry had joined in the row for the window seats, and had managed to get even Mr. Weasley flustered enough that he'd been called Bill, Fred, Ron, and even sometimes Harry.

"See? He's practically one of the family already!" Ron declared as they pulled into the perfectly ordinary street.

"Now look Harry, I'm certain your relatives are in right fit state because you never came home," Mr. Weasley began.

"Oh, I'm sure they're done celebrating they finally managed to lose me by now."

"-but it's very important we try not to make too much fuss. They are muggles, after all, and we wouldn't want the police to get involved."

"Honestly, I'd be surprised if they even kept my cupboard cleaned out."

Mr Weasley frowned, having a hard time telling if Harry was pulling his leg again, or being serious. "Right, the rest of you stay in the car, Harry, let's get your trunk from the boot."

With a heavy heart, Harry marched up the steps to 4 Privet Drive with Mr. Weasley next to him, his trunk behind him and Hedwig hooting in confusion; she'd rather thought she would get to stay in that lovely tree all day and sleep.

Mr. Weasley knocked, and when the door didn't immediately open, Harry turned right around. "Oh, well looks like no one's home, guess we'll just have to come back tomorrow."

But, then Uncle Vernon's voice yelled, "We don't want any!"

"Sir, I'm Arthur Weasley. I'm here with your nephew, Harry. I'm afraid there was a bit of a mix up."

There was a moment of silence. "I already said we don't want any!"

Mr Weasley smiled and laughed. "Ha, very funny sir, but I really do have your nephew. I'm sure you've been worried sick; he ended up with my own children by mistake, terribly sorry about that, but he's here now."

The door cracked open, and Uncle Vernon's piggy eyes peered out. "Well, if you took him, why don't you keep him? Your one of his kind, aren't you?"

"Well, I am also a red head yes, as are my children. That's where the mistake happened, we have five at home right now and I can tell you, sometimes they just seem to multiply! But we do want to make sure Harry's with his loving family."

"I was with a loving family," Harry grumbled.

The door shut, and there was a clicking sound as Uncle Vernon removed the chain. He opened the door and glared down at Harry. "Well, I suppose it was too much to hope we'd finally gotten rid of you at last."

"Sadly, no," Harry said. He sniffed, smelling the remains of lunch. "I'm hungry, I don't suppose you save me anything?"

"Of course not! And we put Dudder's things back in the smallest bedroom. The mat is still in your cupboard, so go lock yourself in there until supper. If I'm in a good mood, you might be allowed to eat after we're done, boy!"

Harry sighed and started to go in, when he found a hand blocking his way. He looked up to see Mr. Weasley's normally jovial expression darkened to one of oncoming thunder. When Mr. Weasley spoke, his voice was no longer soft and gentle, but commanding. "I'm sorry, but there seems to be some mistake. I've just brought home your nephew, who was missing for over a day, and you don't' seem at all relieved to see him."

"Why should I be? He's unnatural! Not normal at all. Now get inside boy, before the neighbors see!"

Once again, Harry's progress was impeded by a blocking hand. "Are you saying, sir, that you are going to deny Harry lunch instead of celebrating his return like the lost child he is, lock him in a cupboard, and only give him food if you are in the mood to do so?"

"Well, he'll get supper of course, I wouldn't starve the boy, but he'll have to work all the harder tomorrow because he missed the last two days of chores."

"Are you saying sir," Mr. Weasley said, though his voice was so loud now that it carried up and down the street, "That you think of your nephew, your own flesh and blood, as little more than a house elf who has to do chores to earn his keep?"

"He's no flesh and blood of mine," Vernon growled. "He's Petunia's sisters boy. And she was just as unnatural and not normal as he his. Now bloody well lower your voice and get out of here! House elves, honestly. Either take the boy since you seem so concerned about him, or shove off before I do call the police for you making a public nuisance of yourself!"

"I see." Mr. Weasley grabbed Harry's trunk. "There seems to have been some mistake. This isn't Harry's home at all. Come along, Harry."

Harry immediately turned around and followed Mr. Weasley, his heart hammering in his chest. He turned and looked behind him, but Uncle Vernon just snorted through his walrus mustache and slammed the door shut.

Mr. Weasley packed Harry's trunk back in the boot, put Harry back in the seat, and stuck his head in. "Fred, George, did you happen to bring that gnome I saw you trying to stuff in Percy's shirt when we were leaving?"

"Well, that depends dad," Fred said, looking slightly guilty (but only because he had been caught).

George held up a shaking bag. "What do you mean by 'that gnome.'"

"Because it could be singular."

"Or plural."

Mr Weasley nodded slowly. "How many?"

Fred and George peaked in the bag. "Four. Oh! One's pregnant, I think."

"Good. Let them loose in these muggles garden."

Fred and George both stuck their pinky fingers in their ears and rubbed vigorously, then took them out and examined the bit of earwax on them. "Sorry dad, could you repeat that, something must be wrong with our hearing."

"I said, let the gnomes loose. And hex their flowers so that they come up weeds while you're at it."

"I'll curse their car window so that it attracts bird droppings," Percy volunteered.

Molly got out and drew her own wand. "Oooh, just a moment Arthur, I'm going to fix their rakes so that they you can't see them until you get smacked in the face."

"Well alright, but put a time limit on it, I don't want to get called in because my own wife put a cursed artefact in a muggle lawn."

Harry blinked. "What are you doing?"

Fred and George grinned. "You see Harry, we weren't the first pranksters in the family-"

"-just the most recent-"

"-and the most talented."

Once the Dursley's property had been thoroughly hexed so that it would never again be mistaken for normal (Mr. Weasley had personally fixed the hedges so that they would always end up trimmed into odd shapes). Mr. Weasley took the car straight up into the air, only engaging the invisibility cloak once they had zoomed over the Dursley's house.

"Arthur!" Molly protested, paling. "The Statue!"

"Sorry, Mollywobbles, but that man was so hateful to Harry and wizards in general...I'm afraid I lost my temper."

Mr. Weasley coughed, then turned around and smiled at his newly expanded family. "So, how about that picnic then?"