The speeches, interviews and tweets of the Republican presidential candidate have been made into a book of verse, Bard of the Deal

The interviews, speeches and tweets of outspoken tycoon-turned-presidential-candidate Donald Trump have been transformed into what publisher HarperCollins is calling a “treasury of spoken poetry”.

Compiled from three decades of material by the author and reporter Hart Seely, book of verse Bard of the Deal arrives on bookshelves on 15 December. Not a word of Trump’s has been changed to create the poems, said HarperCollins, pointing to the piece The Vicious Ones, pulled from Trump’s 9 August appearance on NBC’s Meet the Press, as a highlight.

I was attacked viciously

By those women,

Of course, it’s very hard for them

To attack me on looks,

Because I’m so good-looking.

But I was attacked very viciously

By those women.



“Since the 1980s, Trump has built his verses like his casinos, using only the highest quality words and phrases, regardless of cost,” said HarperCollins, which is part of Rupert Murdoch’s News Corporation. “But until now, Trump’s poetry – delivered spontaneously in moments of enduring clarity – has gone unnoticed (making it the only aspect of Trump to be that way). On a regular basis, The Donald speaks, tweets and hollers his verses – always without the needless restrictions of political correctness and grammar … because among world-class poets, there don’t be no grammar, there only be truth … big time!”

The LA Times said that Trump’s “brilliance” was on “full display” in the collection, quoting one “which considers his (doomed) love of a certain junk food”:

Nabisco. Nabisco!

Oreos! Right?

Oreos! I love Oreos!

I’ll never eat them again. OK?

I’ll never eat them again.

No … Nabisco.

In an interview with Syracuse.com, Seely said it took him six weeks to look through “hundreds of transcripts” from a politician he described as entertaining because “he just stands up there and says whatever comes into his head,” and “nobody in politics does that”.

“I’ve spent way too much time thinking about Trump,” Seely told Syracuse.com. “He’s clearly a brilliant man. He goes to all of these speeches and talks about how smart he is, though. Nine out of 10 people who come up to you to tell you how smart they are, they’re idiots … He has such a blind side in his ego that if he were president, he’d get eaten alive.”

The website said the collection also includes a poem about “why Trump doesn’t like black accountants” (because “laziness is a trait in blacks”), and one about Muslims (“most are fabulous”), as well as a piece entitled “Freedom Tower”:

I. Worst pile of crap

Architecture

I’ve ever seen.

II. The terrorists win.

It’s that bad.



Trump is not the first US politician to find their words turned into poetry. Seely himself has also published Pieces of Intelligence: The Existential Poetry of Donald H Rumsfeld, while in 2007, Michael Solomon turned Sarah Palin’s emails into I Hope Like Heck: The Selected Poems of Sarah Palin.

In “Where There’s Smoke”, Palin’s words became poetry.