CHRIS: Hey bro, Happy Thanksgiving!

LIAM: Chris! So good to see you! I know it’s been a while, I’ve been pretty busy, y’know… running around, doing press for Catching Fire… it’s been a hectic month.

CHRIS: Hey, no need to apologize. I’ve been doing my rounds too, pressing the flesh for Thor: The Dark World.

LIAM: Man, the fans can be crazy, can’t they?

CHRIS: Yeah, yeah. Here, have some mashed potatoes.

LIAM: Thanks. (Eats.) So… how’s ol’ Thor doing?

CHRIS: Good, good. We just hit $171 million domestically. That ain’t nothing to sneeze at.

LIAM: No, noooooo…. And, um… how many weeks have you been out?

CHRIS: (Unintelligible mumbling.)

LIAM: What was that?

CHRIS: …three.

LIAM: Oh. Oh, well, that’s… that’s fine, you know. Nothing wrong with that. Cranberry sauce?

CHRIS: Of course. (Slurps.) So… Catching Fire?

LIAM: Well, since you asked, we just topped $200 million in our first week. Best November opening of all time and all that.

CHRIS: Hey, that’s great.

LIAM: And… oh gee, I’m sorry. Looks like that knocks Thor: The Dark World down to tenth.

CHRIS: What?

LIAM: Yeah, all the other spots are Harry Potter, Twilight and James Bond*. Sorry, bro.

CHRIS: Well, that’s all right. I mean, you’ve got to work it all in, since you’ve only got two movies left in the franchise. Thor, y’know, he could go on forever… Thor 3, Avengers 2 and 3… guest-spots in other Marvel movies… I could ride this train for the rest of my life.

LIAM: Until your hair starts falling out?

CHRIS: What?

LIAM: Nothing. Stuffing?

CHRIS: Don’t mind if I do. (Chews intently.) You know, it’s not really fair to compare here. I mean, you lucked your way into a franchise that’s got millions of books in print.

LIAM: True, it’s not like there’s any history behind Thor. I mean… the character has only starred in comic books since 1962. And, y’know, thousands of years of being worshipped as an actual mythological god. Not like anybody had a chance to find out about him.

CHRIS: At least I’m the star of my movie. People only go to your movie to see Jennifer Lawrence!

LIAM: People only go to your movie to see Tom Hiddleston.

CHRIS: Okay, that’s it. I’m taking this drumstick and going all Mjolnir on you!

LIAM: Sure you can pick it up? Your Box Office receipts don’t exactly look “worthy” if you know what I mean.

CHRIS: HAVE AT THEE, KNA–wait, hold on a second.

LIAM: What?

CHRIS: Why are we even celebrating Thanksgiving? We’re Australian.

LIAM: Oh. That’s right. I forgot.

CHRIS: Sorry, mate.

LIAM: No worries. Pass the Vegemite.

CHRIS: Didgeridoo a wallaby and all that.

LIAM: The guy writing this doesn’t know anything about Australian culture, does he?

CHRIS: Nope. (Kills 15 deadly spiders, snakes, and a koala bear.)

LIAM AND CHRIS: Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

*Source: Box Office Mojo.