Today's Lineups:

Home Team

Shadious Beavertown (ShadyBeaver)

Thoran Stonecrusher (HarryGoLucky)

Bernard Westmayne (DynamiteShovel)

Ripper the Wolf (Ripper the Wolf)

Xeaon Ravenwood (Xeaon)

Balasar Shieldbiter (Daiko)

Unavailable

Kilgan Fireheart V (Vilhjalmir) - Busy

Away Team

Dungeon Master (jptoc)

Unavailable

Klarg (Fire)

Where we left off.

The Party cleared the cave, seeing off many Goblins and their Leader, the mighty Bugbear Klarg, as they continued on their quest. They managed to make two new friends in Klarg's Cave, and now with their Wagon in tow, the Party make their way towards the nearby town of Phandalin.

* * *

0 - AND WE'RE OFF

1 - On the journey to Phandalin, the Party are fired upon by a group of Goblins, who rush the group.

6 - The Goblins fire their shortbows again. Thoran and Shadious only takes a glancing blow, but Xeaon and Bernard take a major hit.

9 - Thoran retaliates by launching a javelin towards a Goblin hidden in the trees, but he only manages to hit the tree itself.

12 - Two Goblins attack Thoran at once, but he dodges one, and manages to deflect the second's scimitar off of his greaves, only receiving mild bruising in return.

13 - Shadious takes aim at one of the Goblins by Thoran's side, but like Thoran, he misses.

15 - Xeaon throws a fireball at another Goblin, but in the process of striking it, a fire begins.

19 - Bernard pushes forward a little, but Ripper takes the lead and dives in amongst the Goblins, and instantly crushes one of the Goblin's heads.

20 - Their formerly captured friend cowers under the cart and refuses to use the Wand that Shadious handed him, due to a dislike of magic. Shadious tuts.

21 - Thoran powers forward and slices at the Goblin in his path, cleaving its arm off. Thoran steals the arm.

22 - The one armed Goblin all but disappears into the trees.

24 - A Goblin fires an arrow towards Xeaon, managing to land another big hit on the former Warlock.

25 - His friend launches one more arrow at the Wizard, who takes a third major hit.

26 - Beavertown fires an arrow at fiery tree Goblins, but misses, so he just hides again.

27 - Xeaon decides to add fire to fire and fires a fireball at the fire side Goblins, and then everything catches on fire.

28 - Bernard heals Xeaon by putting a plaster on one of the arrows.

30 - Ripper charges forward, but he misses the armless Goblin.

31 - Their captured friend has a flashback to Goblin torture and then waves his wand at one of the Goblins on Fire Side. He misses. The Wand's side effect causes the Goblin to disappear anyway.

33 - Thoran moves forward and hacks at the armless Goblin once more, but misses as the Goblin moves out the way. Losing that arm has given him superpowers.

34 - The remaining Fire Side Goblin dashes into cover and fires an arrow at Cart Boy, but misses.

35 - One Armed Goblin tries to retreat.

36 - Shadious doesn't accept this retreat and fires his shortbow at the fleeing Goblin, killing him. COWARD.

38 - More trees are burning now. Bernard doesn't care though and starts hurling insults at the remaining Goblin. The Goblin isn't dealing with this shit. He runs through the fire and flames and then collapses dead on the other side.

41 - The Party leave the burning forest behind, and then plan to blame the Goblins. Open and shut case really.

42 - Beavertown unleashes a wand on the fire. Nothing noticeable happens.

44 - Fuck it, the fire wins. The Party tried. Kinda.

45 - The rabbits start nodding at the party. Fuckin' Phandalin.

46 - The Party arrive in town. This isn't going to end well.

47 - Sildar (Captured Person) seems more at ease here, despite the moving rocks.

48 - Turns out the rocks are miniature Golems and they aggressively surround the Party.

49 - Bernard tries to speak to the Golems. "Friends, why are you attacking us?" They stop for a minute and look confused, but fuck it, they just attack anyway.

51 - Beavertown unleashes the Scroll of Pedigree and his Signet Ring again, convinced he can make them fucking read, but fuck it, they just attack anyway. The villagers are laughing.

52 - Xeaon picks up one of the ANCIENT GEAR GOLEMS with his Mage Hand and throws it 100 yards away.

53 - The Golems slam into the Party, but no damage is caused. Ripper looks pissed though.

54 - Thoran throws the Goblin arm onto the ground, asks what the fuck they're doing. He turns to Shadious and asks for a wand.

55 - Harry fires it at one, instantly obliterating it. Nothing else happens.

56 - A hooded figure approaches. BALASAR IS HERE. HE FUCKING PUNTS THE GOLEMS AWAY!

57 - Beavertown draws the scroll. Balasar doesn't care.

59 - Thoran watched his dad die.

60 - Balasar explains that the Enchanter's shit. The Party just want a drink.

61 - The Captured man goes to the expensive inn. The Party go to the cheap one.

62 - The Enchanter seems to have made the birds around town glow.

63 - The Barmaid's not too happy. Things seem to be going wrong in town, and she's been threatened lately.

68 - Bernard orders a drink from the bar, which Xeaon recognises as fairly dangerous. Bernard doesn't drink. Thoran just fucking necks it.

69 - Thoran's feet now smell awful.

71 - Thoran throws his boots onto Shadious' table. Shadious attacks Thoran with a wand.

77 - Your scribe's internet just shit the bed, so I missed the effect.

79 - Shadious seems to be off on a mad one, and he's currently attempting to break into the town hall.

80 - The Party head off to the bigger inn, while Balasar sticks around in the shithole.

81 - This inn has a shit negotiator. From 2 gold a room to 5 silver. Fuck sake.

83 - Ripper has to perform for the Innkeep. The Party make vague threats. Ripper sits. Fully trained wolf.

85 - THE NEGOTAITOR IS ON. 2 GOLD IS BACK ON THE MENU, BOYS.

88 - Sildar seems to be a lot less popular now, and Thoran's not fuckin' happy. Thoran's clocks him in the back of the head.

89 - Xeaon's already crashed. Shadious leaves as he's not too happy with Thoran.

90 - The Party meet Pip. Thoran reveals that he's Pip's "worst fucking nightmare". Pip shits himself.

91 - Pip talks about a secret tunnel that belongs to the 'red men'.

92 - Thoran sends a beer and a note to Beavertown. There's a lot of threats, but the barman who writes the note is illiterate, so it's just scribbles.

93 - Bernard looks to fleece someone nearby, but it turns out that his target has no money. He's shit at this.

94 - OH WOW, it turns out Beavs was just sneaking around watching the Party.

95 - Bernard begins to make a farmer's night. At dice. For information.

96 - Turns out that a Sister who was watching over a shrine left town recently. She returned beaten and upset.

97 - Thoran continues to talk to the barman who tells him that he's pissed off about the townmaster. Turns out he's letting the Redbrands (Men in Red) run riot on the town.

99 - Morning time, and the Golems are trying to steal the wagon.

100 - Thoran starts punting the Golems.

101 - A good looking woman walks out of the shop. Thoran wants to know about these dodgy Redcoats.

102 - A voice that is definitely feminine comes out of her voice and she asks how the party found her goods. Shadious negotiates.

103 - The Female Voice is met with Shadious' definitely Posh Voice in the greatest battle in history.

104 - Xeaon's about to fucking burn everything if she starts taking his goods. Thoran's dad died.

106 - They agree to trade a question for a question.

107 - The Enchanter is shit because his poor spells have had poor effects despite his intentions being pure.

108 - The Party explain that they found her equipment in the Cave of Klarg.

109 - Thoran wants to know what he needs to do for this woman to love him.

110 - Beavertown tries to pull down Thoran's trousers, but fails.

111 - They all enter her shop. She negotiates a deal where the Party gain a 5 Gold in her store and in return, they must offer to defend this town with their lives.

118 - The Party agree, despite being unhappy that they've got to put their lives on the line.

131 - Turns out Balasar was a Dragonborn. DUN DUN DUN.