Let’s face it: This pandemic has been a huge bummer. Between all the panic, the mad dash for groceries, and the constant stream of bad news, I’ve felt like this whole thing might break me. But while I’ve been holed up in my apartment, I’ve realized something. Being in such sudden and persistent isolation is really teaching me a lot about myself. Mostly, I’m learning how I look with a full bush. And it’s pretty good!

Of course, since I’ve been in quarantine, I’ve been realizing a million different things about myself. For example, it turns out I’m a great cook when I need to be! I’ve been making this pearl couscous, frozen spinach, green lentil, and grated parmesan situation that is practical and delicious. My sourdough bread is nearly perfect. Heck, I’ve even gotten good at mixing up and tasty cocktails with the few ingredients I have in the fridge. But most importantly, I’m really coming to terms with the way my vag looks when I’ve run out of razors but also have no one to impress. I don’t hate it! It’s soft, yet unobtrusive. Who knew?

Also, with all this time on my hands, I’ve been working on hobbies that I’ve been putting off for ages. Who knew I could knit? Who knew that I could do yoga? Who knew that I could call my representatives over and over to beg for a rent freeze? I absolutely didn’t, but that’s what isolating from the rest of society will show you! It’ll also show you that wow, your pussy sure can grow a full head of hair when it wants to. And right now, mine definitely wants to. I couldn’t get eaten out right now without some outside interference. And maybe people should have to work for that kind of thing, you know? I might keep this pubic hair forest even when I’m legally allowed back at a CVS!

And just to set the record straight, my bush isn’t the only patch of body hair that this quarantine is allowing to grow out to its full potential. My legs look more like vast arm savannahs, my armpits like little sand dunes brimming with sea grass. But nothing surpasses the fullness, the mass, the sheer volume of my quarantine pubes. It’s like a bear cub decided to come isolate with me and live in my undies. Is that an okay thing to say? I’m spiraling a tiny bit from being inside all this time!

It’s been difficult to be by myself for so long. But it’s been a blessing in disguise to have this time to learn so much about myself. Which, for the most part, has been how my crotch looks when I stop tending to it and it grows a curly brown afro that cannot be contained by any pair of panties that I currently own. That counts!