And no, I'm not even remotely referring to Todd Palin, who was arrested for a DUI in 1986.

Hell, I'm not even referring to Palin's ex-brother-in-law and former Alaska State Trooper Mike Wooten, who she forced out of a job because he was involved in a nasty divorce with her sister, then fired the Public Safety Commissioner, Walt Monigan, when he refused to do so. After all, aside from the actual Palin "Troopergate" scandal, Wooten is himself alleged to have Tasered his own stepson and illegally shot a moose.

So, who is it this time in the ongoing, never-ending Sarah Palin follies?

Willow Palin.

Well, before I go any further, let me make one thing clear:

This is NOT about what WIllow may have done; she's a 15-year old kid. I'm not attacking her; the alleged crime wasn't anything horrific, and teenagers screw up and do stupid things. Adults, on the other hand, are supposed to act like...you know, adults. Grown-ups. This is about what Sarah and Todd Palin may have done in response to the alleged crime.

Having said that, may I present for your consideration two articles that explain more about the latest in the Jerry Springerization of the national zeitgeist:

AlaskaWTF.com has learned that Willow Palin, the 15-year-old daughter of the worst mother in Alaska, was the ringleader of a group of Colony High School students involved in a burglary and vandalism that occured at a vacant house in Palmer. Over $20,000 in damage was caused to a home that was for sale and empty at the time. Sources close the the case have confirmed that Willow will not be charged in the destructive crime spree while her fellow vandals, without a famous mother to protect them, are left to face the music.

For more on the story, see the more-detailed article from The Immoral Minority, which claims:

When Sarah was confronted with Willow’s involvement she at first said that it was impossible since Willow was out of town. However when Troopers interviewed the other teens, every single one of them identified Willow as a participant, and further revealed that it was she who directed the other teens to the house, which she knew to be empty, for the sole purpose of having a party... Now confronted with this new information you may assume that the Palins would do the right thing and surrender their daughter to the authorities, allow her to suffer the consequences of her actions, and then treat this as a painful but necessary learning experience. If you believed that for even an instant then you don’t know squat about Sarah Palin. No instead Sarah circled the wagons (There are rumors she even hired legal counsel) and she started to call in favors. Scandal had to be avoided at all cost. (This was right around the time that her contract with Fox News was being announced.) According to sources close to the Alaska State troopers there was a secret weekend meeting. This meeting took place between the Palin’s and some very highly placed people involved in the juvenile justice department. Directly after this secret meeting the word came down to the juvenile justice probation officer, Chris Evans, that ONLY the boys who had participated would be charged with the crime. The girls would only be identified as “witnesses” and face no criminal penalties.

Now, I realize that today is April Fool's Day, but both of these articles have been up for two or three days already. Normally I'm not comfortable with "Did XYZ do something horrible???" headlines, where the entire story is rumor and speculation, but come on--every element of this story fits exactly with the Sarah Palin modus operandi to a T: Trashy, tacky crime followed by massive cover-up and abuse of power attempt by Sarah.

Still, as I've never previously heard of either of the above blogs, I figured I should at least check in with the most reliable source for Alaska-based political-related news, The MudFlats. They couldn't directly confirm it, but the gist was that reliable sources are indicating that it's a legitimate story.

Well, the Palins do claim to represent Real America. How sad for the future of this nation if that's true.