Was that the best meal you’ve ever had or were you just so hungry that it seemed like it? That’s the conundrum you find yourself in when you’re handed the keys to any car in proximity to the Scottish Highlands. The roads, naturally twisty with generous speed limits, seem to inspire shop clerks and auto journalists just the same.


Quick Hits: Jab Jab Jab

I slow down to check the scenery and an in instant, a Renault Clio is up on my bumper. In the moment just before his mind tells him to go for the pass, my right foot plants into the throttle. The ZF 8-speed automatic in the Jaguar XF 20d shifts down faster than I certainly could and 317 ft-lb of torque shove the big girl forward leaving the Clio drive momentarily stunned. Approaching the next corner, I put my foot on the brake and it grabs - shaving speed a bit faster than expected. Halfway through the corner, it’s back onto the throttle lightly. The transmission is still in the right gear and I squeeze for more power, the car and I power forward to leave the Clio struggling to keep up. Boy is this thing good.




I had never expected the 20d to be a corner to corner car. It is kind of large and I expected the 8-speed and diesel power plant combination, especially in Europe, to be tuned much more towards fuel economy than fun. But this is Jaguar - the company that wants to put “ALIVE technology”, which is a great marketing term if you can back it up, into every car. It has several drive modes including eco, comfort, and dynamic. That last one is the most appropriate choice for a highland back-road. And who doesn’t love it when the digital gauges turn red?



Back to the Beginning: Pleasant Starts

Today started in Glasgow. I love Glasgow. Anthony Bourdain loves Glasgow. Glaswegians love Glasgow (well, some of them anyways). My day job takes me here fairly often and every once in a while, I get out of the city on the weekend. On days like today, however, I wonder why I don’t do it every weekend that I’m here.


It was a rainy walk through Glasgow’s old pitted streets and pedestrian paths to a car rental (or “car hire” if you’re local) branch. I remarked to the clerk about how many cars were in the lot and she mentioned that only a couple are to rent and that the business also sells cars and leases to businesses. That’s why there were so many around. My hopes sank a bit. I’ve been bitten by the local rental “or similar” experience before. I had reserve a Jaguar XE “or similar”. She disappeared for a moment to make copies of the paperwork and emerged with an overly cheerful “free upgrade! You’ve got an XF instead”.


Olifactory: A Jag’s a Jag



Frankly, the XF is last on my list of Jaguar’s cars that I would have wanted. The F-Pace is new and hip, the F-Type is gorgeous and fast, and the XE would be an entirely new experience. Determined not to look a gift horse in the mouth, I snatched the keys and went to the lot to collect my prize. As I sat down and smelled the new-car smell (it has just 3k miles on it), it struck me that it smelled exactly like every other Jaguar I’ve been in. Strangely enough, I think it’s my favorite new-car smell.


Having been inside one Jaguar, you notice some similarities and some differences. The seat controls in this XF (this generation started in 2015) are actually mounted on the seat. On the F-Type, they’re on the door. The navigation is better than any previous Jaguars that I’ve been in but you still get the sense that you’re not sure where you’re supposed to be going in the user interface. When you start the car however, the show begins. The vents do a 180-degree turn, the gear selector rises up out of the center console, and the digital dash comes to live. It’s a party trick, like the piping of the haggis, that you can’t help but enjoy.

Ergo “Ergo”: What’s Wrong With This Picture?

I’m an American. I’m used to driving on the correct side of the road. It also seems that Jaguar is used to our side of the road too. Almost immediately, I realized that due to the size of the transmission tunnel, there’s no great place to put your dead leg. Then, on the A82 it hit me: my right leg has enough room for both of them - they designed for left-hand drive and just mirrored the layout without tweaking it.


In fairness to Jaguar, everything else is spot on. The seats are comfortable, the steering wheel feels great, the LCDs are bright, and most of the surfaces you touch regularly are nicely appointed in metal, faux wood trim, or leatherette. This car, even in this low of a trim, is a great place to be.




Stop and Go: But Really, Just Go

I set the XF’s navigation to target Oban and took off. The combination of the large navigation screen and instrument cluster navigation hints are a comforting help when you’re out of your element. It doesn’t take long for the cityscape to melt away out here. No sooner did I get used to the car’s navigation, was the city well gone. Out on the smaller A-roads, it would have taken a chisel to remove the smile from my face.


I stopped in Oban for a coffee, to take some photos, and to call up family. It had already been 2.5 hours in the car and I still felt great. Some cars really take it out of you. While taking a Mitsubishi Lancer Evo X into the Highlands sounds like a great idea on paper, the sheer size of the landscapes and drone of the exhaust would be enough to make almost anyone call it quits. Despite having to mirror my own driving habits, I still felt refreshed enough to quickly say Beannachd leat to Oban.




With the exception of the Caesium Blue paint (premium option), the car isn’t what I would call striking. It is handsome like a mid-tier Jag should be. Ian Cullum, Jaguar’s lead designer, knows his audience and knows his brand. The tail lights hide a titillating hint of F-Type.




I headed North to Fort William where I grabbed a surprisingly delicious artisan pastrami and sweet pickle sandwich and decaf flat white before deciding I wanted more. That’s the thing about the Scottish Highlands: it’s the driving version of chocolate.

I plotted a course in the navigation and to my surprise allowed for waypoints. I added a few neat looking back roads that I had scouted in the cafe earlier using Google Maps and set off again. This time for Glen Coe.


Lost Luggage: Where’s My Camera?

I haven’t yet found a great place to keep my camera in the XF. No matter where I put it, it seems to slide away. I tried the seat. I tried the center console. I tried in a bag on the seat. I even tried the passenger floor well. Next time I’ll bring a passenger and designate them “human camera holder”.


That camera soon got put to good work. Glen Coe is an incredible sight. Even on a day like today where it keeps alternating between rain and snow with low clouds touching the mountain tops. The grandeur of Glen Coe is surprisingly tough to capture on camera. The mountains are spectacular but at the same time, quite low. It’s the compression of clouds, a snow line, and a valley that seem to make it such a spectacle. Even in January, tourists show up to try their best at capturing what their eyes are seeing.




The road twists and climb until eventually reaching an incredible plateau with small jagged hills that looks like something out of a science fiction film. As the sun went down, I descended and entered Loch Lomond & The Trossachs National Park. First and foremost, this is a dark place when the sun goes down. It’s also cold. The back road that I so proudly chose came with a warning sign posted at its entrance: “Road surface may not be treated for ice and snow.”




Sure enough, there was ice and snow. And switchbacks. On a road that has a national speed limit (60mph). Things got slippy, the XF got a little sideways, and even in dynamic mode - things never got out of hand. Despite having normal all-season tires, the car handled with confidence. I would still invest in snow tires if you live in Montana or the Alps and perhaps choose the AWD version.

Verdict: If The Highlands Are In Your Backyard...

I’ve driven quite a few Jaguars. Nearly all flavors of the F-Type, previous generation XF, the XJ, and even the now defunct XK. The way I think mostly aptly explains Jaguar as a brand is that their cars are like amplifiers. The base F-Type is 8db of volume and the F-Type R is 11db of volume. This XF 20d is 4db. Regardless of which you pick, it’s up to you to pick the right song. And what a song these Highlands are...


If you have comments, feel free to contact me: nick.allain@gmail.com

