Steve Price representing the under-represented 'old white men'. Credit:Channel 10 You see, I have heard your condemnations. I understand now only too clearly I am an oxygen thief, sucking the air out of all debate and demonising all who may not think similarly. I understand I am the antithesis of the greater population – the ones who want jobs dammit and to a pox on anyone who wants to take them away (you listening you huddled Muslim masses?). I am the elite, sitting on a pedestal of affluence with a silver spoon at mouth (someone really should tell my accountant). I am out of touch with community sentiment. I am a blight on society. My views are so PC and repugnant, they are worth rebelling against to the extremes of electing Pauline Hanson and Donald Trump. Yes, THAT bad! But here's the thing (wait while I retreat behind a barricade) – I beg to differ.

Cue eye roll and "that would be right, here we go again, some pinko, leftie, femo telling us what to do". But hear me out will you – even if it is out just of nostalgia for the "old ways" of 2016's debate. When I said that I thought Trump was a megalomaniac, a moron and a monster, I wasn't trying to put you all down and dictate your every thought per usual. I actually meant it with every fibre of my being. And when I wept the day he was elected, they were real tears of utter devastation, sorrow and fear and not because some hipster barista used non-organic soy milk in my deconstructed latte – which is, after all, all my "type" drinks. And I know my fellow thinkers in the UK caused the rest of Brits to quit the European union because my type couldn't stop bleating concern about those displaced souls in border camps looking for safe refuge. My/our bad. Again. I guess now is also a good time to say sorry to the LGBTQI community, too. You see, I am the reason you don't have marriage equality in this country. My type's constant demand for equality for all and namby pamby desire not to see others bullied and ostracised for their natural inclinations pulled the plug.

Yep, all that harping on about the abhorrence I felt at the thought of being forced to cast a vote as to whether one person should have the same rights as another has closed down argument in this country for the foreseeable future. If it makes you feel any better, I feel really bad about that one. All right, while I'm at it, I'm sorry Malcolm Turnbull turned out to be such a dud Prime Minister. The fact he believed climate change isn't some pesky leftie fairytale; equal rights for all sexual persuasions; a republic and all that other righteous irrelevant rubbish my kind bang on about – that's what had made him such a beacon of hope. But hey, you caught us out on that one! Nice one. Turns out he has no thoughts of his own at all. Or policy. I guess this is the time I should also say sorry that Tony Abbott is still around embarrassing the nation on a world stage. I really didn't see myself as the reason for this but again, it seems it's my fault. Yep, Tony is hanging in there to ensure his type don't get drowned out by mine, because we all know my type is the only that gets any media attention. This conjecture always fascinates me considering the airwaves are still dominated by the likes of Hadley, Jones, Price, Akerman, Blair, Bolt et al. Oh, and now News Ltd has bought Sky News, is that the thunderous sound of hundreds of jackbooted Paul Murrays Live I hear? I fear it may be. Why only last month Steve Price, who has a nightly radio program broadcast to 56 stations across the country and appears each week on Channel Ten's The Project as well as being given a chair on my type's base camp, the ABC's Q&A program, was lamenting he has a right to be heard, too.

"Old white men have as much right to have a view as anyone else," Steve thundered. "The left seem to think that unless you're from some lobby group or some feminist action group or an LGBTQI community spokes group then that's the only people who are allowed to have a view about things. Well, that's not true." Poor Steve. Maybe he can be given his own government-sponsored 24-hour free-to-air news channel next year to ensure my type don't drown him out with ours – the ABC. Something tells me it's definitely my fault if he doesn't. Oh yes, I hear you growl, we women get our share of newspaper column inches, too. Oh and you'd be right, we do. Janet Albrechtsen, Miranda Divine, Rita Panahi and Peta Credlin all have prominent newspaper columns. And yep, they are all women like me (and that's pretty well where our similarities end). It seems my type have been told our fellow citizens won't be told by us. We are the cast out pariahs of last year, doomed to roam 2017 irrelevant and redundant. Our old fashioned views of empathy,equality and environmental respect are pipe dreams, fiscal disasters. Refugees will have to just stay that (probably including those lost souls on Manus and Nauru). It seems they will continue to learn their lesson, that wanting to live in safety and freedom is not realistic, Especially for non-whites. So, you would think with so much misery resting on my shoulders I would be rethinking my leftie views and joining the good 'ol boys and gals of the new right. And to that I say a joyous and resounding STUFF YOU!

I will stop listening to my heart when they cut it out of my cold dead body. And to those of you pointing fingers at my type and blaming all our political correctness and benevolence as the reason the world has gone to Hades in a hand basket, I say look in to your own hearts. Because if we are going to heal and come together, that's what it is going to take – human kindness, empathy, respect, tolerance and compassion. Not taking sharp turns to the right or left but moving towards the middle. In other words, coming closer together. If not, it's all our faults. Wendy Squires is a Fairfax Media columnist.