PRO TIP: When filling out your reddit gift questionnaire, don’t act like a crazy person in hopes of making sure your santa understands the 1 thing you really care about. Bill Gates might read it. And then you will over-analyze every lame joke you made. #truestory

Step 1: Have an awkward moment with your FedEx guy, staring at him pushing a small refrigerator box up to your door. Offer to help.

Step 2: Proceed to scream and make inaudible sounds, causing all nearby cats and family to congregate.

Step 3: Confirm it is, in fact, from Bill Gates. Thankfully, a photo of Bill Gates with a massive Pusheen head next to him was included. You’d be surprised at the amount of time it may take to register what is happening and connect the photo to the gigantic cat-beast in your living room. My life is now complete.

Step 4: Clean off all the cat hair and put on makeup because, well, you know.

Step 5: After allotting adequate time to each individual gift, find a place for Pusheen to call his own. A large couch or small stable will do.

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I’ve done the Reddit gift exchange for years now. I love all the silly little gifts. I always check out the Bill Gates post and laugh at how crazy it must have been for that person, never for a second even considering it a possibility for me. HA!!

I could fit about 5 of me in the box I got. I did, in fact, stare awkwardly at the FedEx guy - I was so far beyond confused. Then I saw my Reddit username and apparently said “wwhaaatttt” in such a weird way, the delivery guy started laughing. I tried to pull it inside and I guess looked ridiculous, so the guy ran back up to help me lol

I figured it was some cat tower from Amazon prime - right? I mean - what else.. a gigantic cat? Let’s be serious. I instantaneously recognized the big grey blob shape and 2 tail stripes and, I kid you not, screamed like a little girl. I was over the moon, and immediately loved my mystery santa for all of eternity, for ever and ever. They CLEARLY knew my soul.

As Pusheen was being released from his box, I picked up a letter with a picture, and thought it was SUPER weird that someone was so obsessed with Bill Gates as to send me a photo of him. Then I just caught fragments of the letter all at once “a donation has been made” “bill gates”, and my cat’s names. It clicked and I started to burst out loud laughing and crying simultaneously. I was a cliché.

I read the letter about 39043 times, and was reminded there was still a box of gifts. MORE!? But my life was already complete…

Oh Bill.

My life goal is to fully fund a no-kill cat shelter one day and reform the U.S. shelter system to be entirely no-kill. Cats are my thing. My life-force, my happiness. However you want to put it.

Mr.Gates donated $750 amongst 3 of my favorite cat shelters (hat tip to your online snooping ;)

Shameless Promotion: The FFRC (Friends of Feline’s Rescue Group) <— they stream their kitties 24/7 The Stray Cat Alliance Town Cats

Here’s the full list of incredibly the generous gifts: • 30-ish pound Pusheen. I will die holding this at 90 (as it loving crushes me to sleep) • A $250 donation to The FFRC • A $250 donation to The Stray Cat Alliance • A $250 donation to Town Cats • A Stormy stuffed animal (Pusheen’s sister) • A tiny Pusheen Ornament • A book on cat shelters with a sweet note inside he wrote • A business book (I make and sell startups) • Silly Dr.Who book for my coffee table • Dr.Who cardboard Tardis for the cats LOL! • A $150 Gift card to True Grit <— super selfless, as it was intended to get downloads for Procreate, which is only on iPads. Nice touch, Bill ;) ..I’ll stop calling you that, just give me a day. • A miniature Austrian snow-globe with a teeny tiny white kitten inside. Stunningly beautiful craftsmanship. • A commissioned, one-of-a-kind cross-stitch of Me and my pal, Bill, and my 4 cats that says “Live Life in the Meow” .. harr harr. LOL! I cracked up at him wearing a little mask to be secretive ;) - nice touch! Even the frame was wonderful so I don’t have to wait to hang it up! • A Japanese Daruma with a very sweet message attached to it (sorry Reddit, I’LL NEVER TELL! it’s a secret! muahaha) • Dave Matthews Band shirt (with an appropriate quote on it) • Dave Matthews Band Car Sticker (I actually really wanted that lol) • Scroll of the map of Skyrim lol - pretty well made actually! • Lastly, someone hand drew all the logos of the cat shelters’ cards and on the other little notes. And they carefully wrapped every gift, paying attention to every detail - even using cat TAPE.lol! Whoever did that, I was thoroughly impressed. Amazing work!!

The best part? Well, second to the donations and gigantic Pusheen,

Knowing that at some point during my workweek, I was drinking coffee, writing a boring email, and Bill Gates was somewhere having a professional photo taken with a jumbo Pusheen and writing me notes about cats.

I love you Bill Gates… hope to hear from you again next year?? ..you have my address..

P.S. Bill, the video is for you. Please don’t show the internet.