It is a blossoming bromance. In what one US-based critic called a “first Tinder date”, Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin talked for two and a quarter hours on Friday instead of their scheduled 30 minutes.

“I think there was just such a level of engagement and exchange, and neither one of them wanted to stop,” US secretary of State Rex Tillerson said afterward. “Several times I had to remind the president, and people were sticking their heads in the door. And they sent in the first lady at one point to see if she could get us out of there, and that didn’t work either.”

There were sighs of relief in Washington that Trump, an erratic and volatile president with little foreign policy experience, had avoided a major gaffe. The news website Axios summed it up: “Trump survives the Putin meeting.”

But diplomats and experts said this was hardly cause for celebration. Thomas Countryman, former US acting undersecretary for arms control and international security, commented: “It’s an indication of how rapidly our standards are falling when we’re reasonably pleased that President Trump has not made an obvious error.”

Pre-meeting hype had focused on whether Trump would confront Putin over Russia’s interference in the US election. He delivered, according to Tillerson, pressing the issue repeatedly. But Putin denied it and Tillerson later admitted that the two leaders had focused on how to move on from here. There seemed little indication that Trump had held Putin’s feet to the fire.

Trump had accepted Putin’s assurances, Countryman said: “It certainly was the minimum that any US president should have done in this situation. I’m glad he brought it up. What we don’t know – and may never know – is what he replied when Vladimir Putin looked him in the eye and falsely said: ‘It was not us.’” Russian foreign minister Sergei Lavrov claimed Trump had accepted Putin’s assurances, although the US disputed that.

Failure to address what has been described as the political crime of the century would have fuelled criticism and dominated the news agenda, overshadowing other matters such as a ceasefire deal in south-west Syria. Sean Guillory, a blogger and podcaster on Russia, said: “The whole thing is theatre for domestic consumption.”

Alina Polyakova, director of Europe and Eurasia research at the Atlantic Council, a Washington thinktank, agreed that raising the issue of election meddling was merely “pro forma”. She said: “There was political awareness that they had to bring it up. Not doing so would have been politically deaf and suspicious in a way.”

More significant was the body language between the leaders that, in Polyakova’s view, offered a “night and day” contrast with Barack Obama’s frosty meetings with the Russian president.

“The sense I’m getting from the way they interacted on camera – they seem to have a very good rapport. Trump seems friendly to Putin. Putin seemed reserved but he always has on camera, except when he was with Silvio Berlusconi.”

She added: “Obama and Putin over time developed an uncomfortable and contentious relationship. This was obviously the first meeting so it would be expected to be more friendly and cordial.”

As journalists were ushered from the room, Polyakova noted, Putin appeared to lean in and asking if these were the ones who’ve been hurting Trump’s feelings, then chuckle. “It was a clever move to show he was on his side. It was a deft move on the part of Putin to build trust.”

What was also significant was who was in the room – or rather who wasn’t. Trump and Tillerson were not accompanied by the national security adviser, HR McMaster, or Trump’s senior Russia adviser, Fiona Hill. “That was an interesting omission given that Fiona Hill is the Russia expert on the National Security Council.”

Trump’s handling of the issue of Russian meddling was condemned by Democrats and the liberal Center for American Progress Action Fund, which declared that he had “just unilaterally surrendered to Russia”.

Morgan Finkelstein, its press secretary, said: “After a bilateral meeting that sounded like a good first Tinder date, based on the official readout, Trump is rewarding Putin’s egregious behavior by giving Putin the platform he so desperately craves without getting anything in return.

“Trump is unilaterally surrendering American sovereignty and the right to fair elections free of foreign interference.

She added: “It makes you wonder: what does Putin have on Trump that could make Trump act like a supplicant on the international stage? How deep in trouble is Trump that he couldn’t even perform the most basic task – asking Putin not to interfere in our elections?”