An Introduction to Kulak Keith, who Overthrew the Failed King and later became Khem King Keith but this is his origin story, his Beginnings, told in iconic verse, doubling as a hymn.





(an unfinished excerpt from 2/8/17)

[sombre tone]

There's a royal crown

Who lost around

His throne didn't last





There's a village man

Who tried to stand

Against the upper castes





The king fell onto the dirty ground

Abdicated from his throne

And once where jewels were adorned

His white hair’s all alone

A peasant on the dirty ground

Hurled at the king a giant stone...



(This part was written today:)

Huzzah! Huzzah!

It's the true story of the peasant who overthrew the failed king

Clap your hands and we shall sing:





He's Kulak Keith, he's Kulak Keith

That peasant that you seek

His name is Kulak Keith!

Man, you gotta believe

He's the saviour of the lower classes

The man abolishing all the castes

He's Kulak Keith, He's Kulak Keith

He's Kulak Keith!!





Kulak Keith became the Khem King Keith

He solved all the esoteric mysteries

He brought the nation out of anarchy

In 50 years made it a first-world country

But that's a story for another day

Kulak Keith the hero he says:

Come join me and establish equity

He invites you now: to be free!



[the trumpet sounds and we cry: Huzzah! Huzzah!]

He cured the nation of dysentary

He erected toilets for the populace

He purged the government provisionary

He ruled the town with confidence

He enacted laws that were revolutionary

He inspired men to higher consciousness

He made neighbouring lands tributaries

Of a great empire of prominence

But listen closely, most importantly

He made it hence: very much obligatory

For all men to extol his dominance!





He's Kulak Keith, He's Kulak Keith, He's Kulak Keith!

Ten times superior to that failed king

Kulak Keith can do anything.

[ends on a triumphant note]



Huzzah!







