What??

Neil Prendeville exposed himself and performed a ‘hand shandy’ on an Aer Lingus flight.

A Hand shandy?

He masturbated.

Oh. Who?

He’s Cork’s answer to Joe Duffy (except more absurd and self righteous). His show on 96FM is the biggest on local radio with 100,000 listeners. You could say he’s a w-anchor.

What flight?

The 10.15pm Aer Lingus EI725 from London Heathrow to Cork on October 19 last, following a junket with the Lord Mayor of Cork to promote Cork to the Brtitish.

How?

“As the jet taxied for take-off Mr Prendeville was seen to expose himself and masturbate as he sat in his seat. Mr Prendeville was seated in the front row of the aircraft facing two air hostesses. He was flanked by a female passenger to his right in a window seat and a male passenger to his left in an aisle seat.”

Why?

Monged on booze and painkillers. He left a message on the answering machine of one of the witnesses which said:”I just wanted to apologise to you for any offence that I might have caused you.”

That all?

He added: “I have no recollection whatsoever. I’m in shock, you know, I really am. I took some Nurofen Plus alright, I know that, for my neck. And as you know, with me anyway there was pints and wine and stuff and Jesus I don’t know where I’d begin to make it up to you.”

What are Cork people saying?

It couldn’t have happened to a nicer bloke.

What now?

Aer Lingus has made a formal complaint to the guards.

And 96 FM?

They are changing their name to 69FM.

Seriously?