Parents ask S.F. Archdiocese to remove school’s leaders

Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone is seen at the Archdiocese of San Francisco on Thursday, June 6, 2013 in San Francisco, Calif. Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone is seen at the Archdiocese of San Francisco on Thursday, June 6, 2013 in San Francisco, Calif. Photo: Lea Suzuki / The Chronicle Photo: Lea Suzuki / The Chronicle Image 1 of / 4 Caption Close Parents ask S.F. Archdiocese to remove school’s leaders 1 / 4 Back to Gallery

In an emotional and at times angry meeting with representatives from the Archdiocese of San Francisco, more than 100 parents of Star of the Sea School children pleaded Wednesday night for the controversial leaders of their school’s church to be removed from their posts.

The Rev. Joseph Illo, pastor at Star of the Sea Church since August, and Father Patrick Driscoll, the parish’s parochial vicar, sat mostly blank-faced as 15 parents, some of them breaking into tears, took turns at a microphone and cited examples of how they believe the men had disrupted the open, tolerant atmosphere of the school.

“Father Joseph preaches intolerance. And that’s preaching hate,” said Brian Wu, who has two children at Star of the Sea, a K-8 school in the Richmond District.

“Instead of lighting the way, Father Joseph has shown us the door,” Wu said, his voice breaking. “Our children are hurting. Our families are hurting. I do not see God’s work being done here.”

Illo and Driscoll have come under fire from parents at the school and many outsiders for policies initiated this year that critics said excluded many children from participating in the school’s spiritual activities.

In particular, Illo decided in January that girls would no longer be allowed to act as altar servers during Mass. He also forbade non-Catholic students from receiving blessings while their Catholic peers took Communion — a move that he later revoked.

Driscoll, meanwhile, was criticized for handing out pamphlets about confession to children as young as 7 that made reference to sodomy, masturbation and abortion.

During the meeting, parents also said that Illo drew further ire by posting in a blog and making comments to the media about Star of the Sea “lacking in Catholic identity,” and suggesting that he would consider replacing faculty at the school with nuns.

The controversy at Star of the Sea came amid Bay Area-wide furor over a move by the Archdiocese of San Francisco to introduce morality clauses into four Catholic high school handbooks and teacher contracts.

At Wednesday’s meeting, which was organized by the school parents’ club, speakers said recent policy changes have shaken their school community and left many children confused about their role in the school and the church.

“It is with such great sadness and such a heavy heart that I find myself right here, right now,” said parent Brenda Kittredge, who went to school at Star of the Sea herself and now has four children at the school. “It frightens me that for a second I actually thought about sending my children somewhere else.

“Too many hurtful things have happened. We are way, way, way past apologies being enough,” Kittredge said. “They are just not a good fit.”

At the end of the meeting, two representatives from the archdiocese who had sat quietly through the public remarks said they would take the parents’ comments to Archbishop Salvatore Cordileone, on whom would rest any decisions about the fate of the Star of the Sea religious leadership.

Illo, who also didn’t speak during the hour-and-a-half meeting, said afterward that it’s a difficult situation and acknowledged that there is a lot of tension and anxiety between himself and the school parents. He said there have been misunderstandings, but now he’ll leave it to the archbishop to decide what happens next.

“It was a good forum,” Illo said. “It’s important to hear their perspective.”

Erin Allday is a San Francisco Chronicle staff writer. E-mail: eallday@sfchronicle.com