Hi. So firstly I just want to say that the purpose of this blog isn’t to be excessively mean for no reason. I am actually hoping that people will read this and perhaps some of it will sink in, making them a slightly better person. Whilst these are all just MY opinions so feel free to disregard it all, I know from discussions with plenty of my peers that they are not unreasonably held opinions- I am not alone in these views! Although most of the people mentioned are going to be criticised, I will also mention a few people who simply deserve praise, because just focusing on the negatives is not beneficial for anyone!

The EDM “scene” (online community and scene in general) has become so oversaturated with BULLSHIT that I felt it time to speak out before I exploded at someone. If you’re in any way involved in electronic music, famous or not, you can rest assured you are on my radar- no one is safe. So, without further ado, here is ‘what grinds my gears’- EDM edition.

Let’s start at the top with the more “famous” offenders.

Afrojack: Your whole spat with Deadmau5 was just too tragic to be entertaining. Let it go. At the end of the day he is the better producer, it’s not even debatable really. Just focus on doing you from now on. Also, you are guilty of some serious crimes against music, I mean, Paris Hilton- Good Time? REALLY?

Deadmau5: I’ve never really been a massive fan of your music, but I recognise your talent. Granted sometimes you post some funny shit, but you should recognise that you are something of a role model for a lot of up and coming artists, so your rather relentless “bitching”, whilst occasionally entertaining, sets a really bad example and is a contributing factor to why I see so much negativity in my news feed of producers bashing one another*. The beauty of music is that it is subjective- no one can tell you that you can’t like a certain song**. By relentlessly criticising the work of others, it makes people far more paranoid about openly sharing what music they love and creates a negative stigma around certain genres and sounds that is simply unnecessary.

* Yes I do acknowledge the hypocrisy of making this point in a blog dedicated to criticising others.

**Except any happy hardcore song or DJ Cammy remix. They can fuck right off.

EDM Blogs: Stop falling over yourselves to make an entire article each time Deadmau5 tweets something. He’s not the Messiah, he’s a very naughty boy!

Skrillex: I think you’re a babe. You’ve genuinely done so much for electronic music and seem like a nice guy although I have not yet had a chance to confirm this in person. The amount of hate you get for no reason is astounding so if anyone reading this is guilty of hating on Skrillex, please ask yourself why you hate him. Did he shag your mum and take a shit on your dog? No? Then leave him be please.

Burial: Can everyone please stop rimming this guy so hard? Dude, if you’re reading this, well done, you have made yourself one of the most hyped icons in electronic music almost without doing anything. Yes you’ve released some very good tracks, but I genuinely think if some unknown producer released a burial track, no one would give it that much attention, but this guy is SO HYPED ABOUT that he can’t sneeze without people wondering if it’s some kind of new masterpiece.

People who got mad hyped about the ‘Sanctuary’ EP and didn’t even mention Asa: We all love KOAN Sound. Yes. But Asa obviously put a shitload of work into that EP too and got barely any recognition for it! He was even blocked out of one of the promo photos by the arm of one of the KOAN Sound duo. Can we please recognise his contributions to one of the best EPs of the year?

People who review Krewella and only talk about the 2 female singers: It is one of the most frustrating things to put a load of work into something and then get no credit for it*. Without their producer, Krewella would not be anywhere near as popular as they are today. Sure, the singers are good, very kind on the eyes and clearly have a talent for writing great vocals hooks, but there are plenty of other vocalists out there who are just as good, if not better. Kris Trindl’s production work has played the key role in getting them where they are today, so at least give the guy some acknowledgement.

* Unless you’re Maarten Vorwerk.

Pegboard Nerds: After discussing Krewella it seemed natural to also mention this: I read some people giving you hate for using a vengeance sample in your remix of Alive… isn’t that what samples are for? To be used to form minor parts of tracks? I still think the remix is a fucking huge track, so ignore the haters- they will always jump on an excuse to criticise successful producers! Michael Parsberg, you are a legend. Alex, yeah you’re pretty cool too.

Spinnin’ Records: Can you PLEASE try and champion a new sound that isn’t a generic big room house track? The Beatport top 10 needs some serious shaking up, or all we’re going to hear next year is big room this and big room that. Nobody wants that. It has been done to death already and promotes musical recycling instead of innovation.

Beatport: Stop being such greedy bastards. Talk about abusing your position… the amount of commission you take is ridiculous.

Trap Producers: Almost anyone can make a half-decent trap tune in 10 minutes. Instead of saturating the genre with generic bullshit, put some time and effort into your work and if you all do that you can give the genre a better reputation so that my heart won’t automatically sink when I read the words ‘Trap Remix’.

Dubstep Producers: We are reaching a time when the whole lazer noises and generic growls styling has become SO overdone that it is almost painful to listen to now. PLEASE try and make your own sounds or experiment in bringing elements of other genres into dubstep because the majority of new tracks I hear are completely interchangeable and bring nothing new to the table. Get people excited about dubstep again, hybrid tracks are the way forward. The reason Skrillex is as big as he is, is because no one had really done the sound he has before. By imitating him, you are simply guaranteeing your music will be forgotten. Sure, it might be an easier route to quick fans, but if that’s why you’re producing, I’d re-evaluate your goals.

Max Rowat (Koven): Couldn’t be more impressed with you to be honest. Not only are you making some of the best music out there, but you’re a grounded and decent human being. 10/10, would bang.

[I now want to focus on people who are promoters or less famous producers but still have a significant following or play a very active role in the EDM community.]

Monstercat: Mad respect for what you’ve achieved here. I would like to see a bit more quality control on tracks you release going forward as in the past there have been some very questionable releases and it did reach a point where they all started to merge and become almost indistinguishable. Going forward you should look to diversify your roster of artists to get a better range of sounds. Also try and avoid releasing as much “cheesy EDM”. You are in a very very powerful position, make the most of it!

MrSuicideSheep: We get it. You’re fucking busy. But would it KILL you to reply to a message to let a producer/ his management know you’re going to promote the track? Several times the only notice I’ve had that you’ve promoted a track I’m in some way involved with is because it has appeared on your channel in my Youtube sub box. What happened to building a relationship with artists? Massive respect to what you do, but seriously, a bit of acknowledgement/professional courtesy for the people who help you make (an assumably decent amount of) money would be nice. I’m not saying you don’t do that. Just saying doing it a bit MORE would be great.

Curtis “Darkstep” Dashper: Firstly, respect for uploading whatever you want. But let’s be honest, ‘Darkstep Warrior’ is a pretty lame name for a channel. It sounds like something a 12 year old would name their World of Warcraft character. Oh also, you can like heavy music and not be a dick about it mate. #Justsayin.

Ryan Biankowski: Ah Ryan. Where to begin with you. Fair play, you have built up a great channel (even though the artwork on your uploads is like sandpaper on my eyeballs), and are clearly a very driven person, but about 80% of your facebook posts make me want to punch you in the face repeatedly. PLEASE for the love of god, stop posting generic bullshit life advice like you’re some deep guru who is the only person to ever make these wise observations about life and music. Also stop being so needy on facebook, everyone knows you run Drop The Bassline so posting ‘Hey guys sub my channel please’ every damn week is so fucking unnecessary!

People who post articles from Wunderground and don’t realise they are satirical: Look up the word ‘satire’ and maybe learn to sense the tone of an article. You probably shouldn’t be using the internet.

Jaydee Fordee & Sam Dub Kelly: Sam, you post some funny shit on facebook, but you can come across as a bit of a dubstep “snob”. Also why the fuck is your middle name ‘dub’? Come on son. I’m going to be brutally honest here. If your channel didn’t have such a gimmicky name, you wouldn’t have half the subs you currently do. Jaydee, you are an OK guy from my experience so no hate there, but some of the tracks you guys have promoted are just… wow… really?

Stephen Sadhu Colsell: I like you. You’re a very likeable person. I wonder if you’d be as likeable if you were skinny. Probably. You are the closest thing to a man sized baby I think anyone will ever see. Stay away from Ian Watkins mate.

Stanley Stevenson Byrne: MATE. PLEASE stop ruining your tracks by compressing the shit out of them! You are a talented songwriter and ‘Anyone Out There’ is a MASSIVE track, but I can’t use it in sets or enjoy listening to it because it’s so damn over-compressed, it’s like you want to punish anyone who listens to your music by making it fuck their eardrums- and not in a good way. Although Luther Vandross said ‘Never too much’, he was not referring to compression. Ease off man! P.S. Your new name makes you sound like someone out of an 80’s cop drama/porno. StanSB 4 lyf m8.

Muzzy Obaidi: Cheer the fuck up.

Tristam: Yeah you’re a good producer, but I have heard mostly negative things about you as a person. I imagine I’d be able to recognise you walking down the street because you’d be the guy farting and then running downwind of himself so he could sniff it all in. I’m looking forward to hearing more music from you, but you could tone the ego down a few notches.

CoMa: Sometimes you impress me by cutting through bullshit and saying shit that needs to be said. Then the other 90% of the time you are the most DEPRESSING person. I’d hate to get on the wrong side of you because JESUS CHRIST do you hold grudges. Forget faeries, you’re more like a dragon who has been woken up from a nice long sleep and is raging hard on everything around it. I genuinely don’t know anyone else who has let grudges become so much a part of them. You post about it a LOT and you should either just let them go or keep them to yourself because you have a decent following and posting about your grudges is just going to pass your issues with people on to your fans and that isn’t exactly a good practise. Let’s take your grudge with Veela for example. I’ve seen you mention it in various ways at least 10 times over the past year, probably more than that. Want to know how many times I’ve seen Veela mention you? 0. Let it go and it will set you free or some shit. But seriously, you need to mellow the fuck out. Please.

Adrian Camacho: Ok, well, I think your enthusiasm and positivity are admirable. HOWEVER, there are a few things you do that really grind my gears. Firstly, when producers post questions for Q&As, PLEASE please please stop posting ‘which Figureless vocalist would you most like to work with’ or something similar. It is incredibly annoying and is almost as bad as a producer posting ‘which of my songs would you most like to remix’. STAHP. Also, saying how busy you are all the time, we’re all busy mate, no need to post about it on Facebook all the time!

Johnathan LFOMG Rivers: Fucks sake man. Stop getting girls to pose in their underwear with fan signs. It’s awkward for everyone involved. It makes you come off as a bit of a pervert, and it makes you seem like a cheap guy who’s only after likes and will do whatever it takes to get them. You’re better than that. Maybe.

Archie Cane: I had hit a bit of a rut music-wise, then I discovered your music and got really excited. Genuinely. I am a fan of your work. Big ups. So I added you on facebook and within about an hour had to block you from my news feed… You could take on CoMa in a bitch-off I swear. Brighten the fuck up man. Please.*

*You might have brightened up since I blocked you from my feed, if so, please disregard what I said.

Jacob Wolf: You get a lot of hate. A lot of people talk behind your back and that’s not cool. From what I’ve seen you’re a decent manager and, whilst you clearly made some bad decisions in the past, I think people need to just leave you to it now as otherwise it might put people off working with you. It would help though if you didn’t make posts every other day about some “profound” observation you’ve had or how appreciative you are of everything. Sure, make those posts, it’s good to show some love, but doing it as often as you do makes it seem like, for want of a better comparison, a young couple in love who shout about how much they love eachother and just come across as a bit naïve.

Thank you for taking the time to read my rantings. Please take everything I’ve said with a pinch of salt as some of it has been sensationalised to make it more readable.

There are others I have left off for now- no doubt there will be more soon.

Here is my facebook if you want to get in touch: https://www.facebook.com/doesitoffendyoum8