Alt-right (n.): a clever rebranding effort launched by internet trolls who realized that fascism and white supremacy had bad reputations

Basketball ring (n.): piece of sporting equipment from which hang the tatters of Ted Cruz’s hopes in the Indiana primary

Berniebro (n.): a white man, age 18 to 25, with a serious grudge against the mainstream media, a subscription to Jacobin, and a newfound, intense interest in local races

Bigly (adv.): See big-league

Big-league (adj.): an all-purpose superlative popularized by Donald Trump and misheard by a majority of Americans; level above Jeb Bush league. See also yuuuge

Birtherism (n.): the lie, propagated by certain conservative media outlets, that you can get elected president while claiming that the African American incumbent is not a U.S. citizen

Blacks, The (n.): an ethnic group, sequestered entirely within inner cities, with which Donald Trump has a great relationship, yet from which he mysteriously draws low single-digit support

Breitbart (n.): the Trump campaign's communications staff

Mr. Brexit (n.): a nickname bestowed upon himself by a man ignorant of the namesake referendum

Carpet-bomb (v.): Ted Cruz’s strategy for fighting ISIS; not to be confused with the wholly unrelated, actual military tactic known as carpet-bombing

Comey (v.): to successfully alienate Congress, the Justice Department, both parties, and both presidential candidates

Crooked (adj.): lyin’

Cuck (n.): alt-right slang, short for “cuckservative”; commonly applied to anyone who does not support a proud philanderer for president

Cyber, The (n.): how a 70-year-old who does not use email describes the internet. The cyber is believed to be very, very tough, and maybe hardly doable.

Deplorables, basket of (n.): much to her chagrin, Hillary Clinton’s pithiest coinage of the election

Dispel with (v.): a method of dismissing either Barack Obama’s ignorance or Marco Rubio’s presidential aspirations

Dishonest media (n.): an entirely redundant phrase

Drain the swamp (v.): to replace your party hacks and cronies with my own

Drape-maker (n.): the profession of Hugh Rodham, father of Hillary Clinton; one plausible explanation for why she has been measuring the drapes since spring 2016

Drudge Report (n.): America’s most trusted pollster

Dumpster fire (n.): the year 2016

Emails (var: damn emails) (n.): a method of communication that no politician will ever use again

Endorsement (n.): a statement of support for candidate, which may not preclude finding the candidate to be immoral, racist, unacceptable for the presidency, or unworthy of support

Extreme vetting (n.): vetting

Failing (ger.): reporting things harmful to my presidential campaign

Fallon (n.):

(a) Brian: a man whose job is to make Hillary Clinton look good, approachable, and human

(b) Jimmy: a man who believes his job is to make Donald Trump look good, approachable, and human