It’s taken four years of reviewing bicycles to bite the bullet and test a Brompton. I know what took me so long. I live in a suburb of Manchester with a vegan organic supermarket and a cafe which offers a “hummus of the day”. I spend my summers in Birkenstocks. I really like granola. If I were to ride a Brompton, I’d have to start voting Tory to prove I’m not a leftwing robot programmed to live the Guardian brand.

I had only been to Salford and back before I realised the Brompton was the first bike I’ve tested that I would buy. It makes a mockery of every other folder I’ve ridden (your Dahons, Kansis, Terns) by compacting into the neatest, cleanest, most portable, stashable package on the market. It’s not an intuitive fold. You need to learn it, and not mess with the order. But once you’ve got the origami moves, it can be assembled in under 30 seconds: the litmus test for any bike-plus-train commuter. Mine had Brompton’s new, patent-protected Saddle Height Insert, which sets the desired height of the seat post when the bike is unfolded.

I was doing a workshop at Thornhill Community Academy, as seen on Channel 4’s Educating Yorkshire, and thought it would be good to take the Brompton on the train to Dewsbury. I’d have been wary in rush hour: though Bromptons are allowed on as luggage, they take up more space than a carry-on suitcase and are never welcomed by a full carriage. But I didn’t need to be there until noon and Google Maps told me it was only three miles from the station. However, Google Maps didn’t warn me Thornhill is at the top of a laughably steep road. Unwilling to turn up drenched in sweat, I had to push, though the lowest of the three gears could have got me to the top if vanity wasn’t in play.

As soon as the bell rang, we were off to the pub. I thought I’d ride and the teachers would walk, forgetting they can’t drink within a three-mile radius of their school unless they want to be served by alumni. So the headmaster, Mr Mitchell, slung the Brompton in his car boot and we went off to Wakefield for a few pints of Black Sheep. It’s perfect for such occasions, or those days when you need to take your car for its MOT and have errands to run while it’s done.

The steering feels very feathery at first, and I wobbled on a right-hand arm signal. But given the wheels are so small, it’s remarkably fast: I was overtaken by at least one Brompton on the 120-mile Dunwich Dynamo ride. Yes, they are twice as expensive as many competitors. But they barely depreciate and, crucially, they are better than the rest. Oh dear. I think I’m going to get one.

Brompton M3R: in numbers

Price From £955

Folded dimensions 585mm x 545mm x 270mm

Weight 11.5kg

Frame Steel

Wheels 16in