Having reported yesterday that Leighton Baines may be off to Napoli instead of Manchester United, while Tim Cahill's head hasn't so much been turned as sent into full-on Linda Blair-in-The Exorcist style 360 degree swivel mode by the money being offered to him by some unspecified Saudi Arabian outfit, the Rumour Mill fully expected to be greeted by an angry mob of pike-waving Everton fans upon its arrival at Guardian Towers this morning.

Perhaps discouraged by the inclement weather or simply wearily resigned to their fate, they stayed away, which means we'll have to try harder to nudge them into the abyss of despair by revealing that the splendidly coiffured Belgian midfielder Marouane Fellaini is off to Chelsea, whose outlay for their close season trolley-dash will increase to the tune of £20m once the big-haired enforcer has signed on the dotted line. The Champions League-winning London club won't stop there, mind, what with them also having set their heart on securing the services of the Ajax and Holland defender Gregory van der Wiel.

A young France fringe player who some of the Rumour Mill's more eggheaded and tactically minded chums speculate may actually find himself in his national team's starting lineup at Euro 2012, Olivier Giroud is going to be the subject of what the Daily Mail are labelling an "audacious bid" by Queens Park Rangers. Being young and French, the Montpellier striker – who scored 26 goals last season – is also wanted by Arsenal, naturally, but with the thrifty Gooners unlikely to meet the Ligue 1 club's £50m valuation, there's every chance Giroud would at least mull over an offer from QPR, if only until his agent finds an even richer club willing to take him. The Mail also reports that Arsenal are sniffing around a couple of other strikers: CSKA Moscow's Ivorian goal-getter Seydou Doumbia and Malaga's Salomón Rondon, who hails from the Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela. Or Venezuela, for short.

Once Norwich Manager-in-waiting Chris Hughton has got his feet under the desk in his new office at Carrow Road, he'll pick up the phone, wonder why there's no dial-tone, find out from his secretary that he needs to dial nine for an outside line and promptly put in a call to his old club Birmingham City to enquire about the possibility of bringing central defender Curtis Davies to East Anglia. Meanwhile at Anfield, once Brendan Rodgers has got the hang of his new club's switchboard system, he'll put in a call to Manchester City and ask if they'd be willing to sell winger Adam Johnson for £16m.

Further east, new Aston Villa manager Paul Lambert has admitted that he's already drawn up a list of transfer targets, but the heroically taciturn Scot has surprised nobody by refusing to confirm whether or not the name "Grant Holt", with whom he worked wonders at Norwich City, features on it. "We will have to wait and see what happens," he said, clutching his cards to his chest. "I'm only just in the door at the minute and I'll see what happens in the next few weeks and months."

And having been imaginatively labelled "the new Andrea Pirlo" it's no surprise that 19-year-old Pescara midfielder Marco Verratti is attracting attention from all over Europe. Officials at the newly promoted Serie A side claim that Juventus, Inter, Genoa, Paris Saint-Germain and Manchester City are all interested in signing the youngster, but his agent Donato Di Campli has tried to quell the frenzy of speculation surrounding his client by urging calm. "Some rumours are true, others are not," he said. "I'd like the boy to be allowed to choose without being rushed or pressurised."

Having left Liverpool, where he was No2 to Kenny Dalglish, with his bank balance buoyed by a severance package rumoured to be in the region of £750,000, Steve Clarke has emerged as the leading contender to succeed Roy Hodgson as manager of West Bromwich Albion, according to The Sun. Having previously worked as a coach at Newcastle, West Ham and Chelsea as well as Liverpool, Clarke will be offered a three-year deal worth £1m per year to make the step up to full-on management at the Hawthorns.

That's yer lot. Now go make a cup of tea or coffee, come back and fritter away the rest of the day on our Euro 2012 blog ...