BATON ROUGE – Yesterday, Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal officially announced to his supporters that he is discontinuing his efforts to seek the presidency, and is officially abandoning his candidacy this week. Jindal gave the announcement at his campaign headquarters, which also happens to be his parents’ home.

“Mom, Dad…” said Jindal cautiously to his parents. “So you know how I’ve been running for office these last few months? Well, I’ve been thinking lately, and I’m not entirely sure that I want to keep doing it.”

Sources reveal that Jindal’s entire body of supporters, Amar and Raj Patel, were outraged. In an act of frustration, Jindal’s only supporters immediately disbanded his PAC, and sent him to his room for a time-out.