Would You Like to Lick My Balls?

Ahhh- at last! I’ve been wanting to do this all day! Having an audience to perform for only enhances the enjoyment I get out of licking my balls. Well, since you had me neutered I guess it is only an empty sack, but still! Not even crotch-sniffing is more satisfying than

licking my balls! Keep watching- you know you want to!

You can no doubt tell from the intensity of my ball licking that you are watching a master at work.

Gather round! Observe…this is my own special technique for licking balls, and I honestly don’t think anyone could do a better job. Of course it helps that my balls are especially succulent. But even if they weren’t I would still give them the attention they deserve.

Are you certain everyone is here? What about that lady over by the punch bowl- from where she is standing there is no way she can see the intricacies of my ball-licking. And that guy who went to the kitchen for another beer surely won’t want to miss it when I show off my flexibility by tongue-lashing my ‘taint!

Why aren’t all the kids in the room as well? Whose idea was it to send them outside, which will cause them to miss this enlightening demonstration- they could learn something!

I’m glad your grandmother is here. Being as old as she is, I’d hate for her to die before bearing witness to my ball-licking prowess. If he were alive today I know your grandpa would be impressed with my scrote-washing skills! No doubt all the men present here will vicariously enjoy my performance, which is why I plan to continually lick my balls as long as there are people in this room.

Wait! Where are you going? Aren’t you and the rest of your church group going to stay and watch me fellate my nuts? Don’t leave me in here alone! It’s because you’re jealous, isn’t it? I’ll bet you wish you could do it too!

I might even let you, but you’d have to pet me first.