It had been at least a couple months now. Life had been fairly quiet, asides from the occasional fight; besides that, everything was… relaxed. Calm, and peaceful. There are, however, very few people who can live in peace without remembering the conflict that had made the peace possible. This can be good, to remember how much one should cherish what peace they have, when they have it. Nowhere was this more prevalent than in these two particular individuals, who lived together, and had once almost died together.

After the dust had settled, Kirika and Shirabe settled down as well; they found a decent place to live, that wasn’t too far away from any responsibilities that they had in case the need arises. For the most part, it had been nice and quiet among them, as well. They had their happy moments, their sad, their woeful recollections. However, for as long as they had been living together, they had some sort of silent agreement never to mention what had transpired between them. Kirika was still recovering from the emotions of it, even if she didn’t always show it. Shirabe avoided mentioning it simply for Kirika’s sake, even though it worried her that she seemed to just want to forget about it that much.

It didn’t anger her that she wanted to forget about it; she harbored no ill will. It was never Kirika’s intention to harm her, it was a complete accident. For Kirika though… it was an entirely different story. The blow she dealt to Shirabe was a killing blow; meant for herself, but it did hit Shirabe all the less. The trauma of it came not from seeing her blade dig into her back, but rather the slow realization she just lost the one she cherished above all else forever. Not to the Noise, but to her own action.

Shirabe lived (thankfully, and by a miracle of circumstance), but the damage was done to Kirika’s already fragile psyche. The trauma remained, even with Shirabe still alive. The large scar on Shirabe’s back was a reminder of her nearly fatal mistake.

“Mmm…”

A soft coo of satisfaction left Kirika’s lips as Shirabe kissed slowly along her jaw, her hands on her waist. The bed creaked quietly as the pair shifted their weight, the only accompaniment to the sound their quiet vocalizations of pleasure and affection. It was mainly Kirika groaning, Shirabe was content to quietly kiss at her lover’s recently showered body; still soft, the moisture atop her skin still a few degrees warmer than her internal temperature.

“E-Ehe… what’s gotten into you, Shirabe…?” Kirika managed to murmur, giggling quietly. Shirabe simply backed up for a moment, her usually dead-pan expression turning into a mild, knowing smile. A deep, scarlet blush blossomed on Kirika’s cheeks, and she immediately looked away out of embarrassment. “C-C'mon… that isn’t fair…” she stammered, Shirabe moving to meet Kirika’s gaze with hers again.

“What… isn’t… fair…?” Shirabe whispered back, a small kiss peppering each of her honey-coated words. Shirabe tugged at the hem of Kirika’s bath towel, making her sit up and carefully straddling her lap. A faint tint of red rose on her cheeks as well, although Shirabe managed to hide her embarrassment through a facade of overconfidence.

“T-This…” Kirika said, with an accompanying gasp. She left what “this” was supposed to mean up to Shirabe, but she had a feeling she would know. Shirabe leaned close and gently pressed their foreheads together, her lips just a short breath away from Kirika’s. She opened her lips slightly as if to quietly mock and tease her lover, just asking her to lean forward and take her prize. Kirika’s lips slightly quivered in response, whimpering with each second their lips weren’t connected. Shirabe obliged her before long, closing the distance between them; lips met, and parted, tongues exchanging far more emotion and charged energy than simple words could ever provide.

Shirabe pulled back after a short time, smirking down at Kirika for a moment as she desperately leaned forward with closed eyes, hoping that the kiss was about to continue. Her black-haired girlfriend put a finger to her lips, pushing her down onto the bed. She crossed her arms and reached down to the bottom of her shirt, tantalizingly and slowly lifting it over her head.

“O-Oh… oh, jeez…” Kirika muttered, covering her eyes with an arm; every moment she stared, she felt herself getting ever more flustered.

“What…?” Shirabe whispered in a teasing tone, throwing her shirt to the side and slowly crawling up Kirika’s body. “See something you like…~?” she added, smirking and staring directly into Kirika’s eyes.

Kirika wrapped her arms around Shirabe’s back, raising up, higher and higher, reaching for the back of her bra… and then her heart sank.

“I…” she choked out, “I’m sorry… I can’t… I-I can’t do this right now…”

“Kirika?”, Shirabe asked in a worried tone, immediately getting off of her and helping her up, a very concerned expression now painted across her face. “What’s wrong… did I do something bad..?”

“No, it’s not you, it’s…”

“What is it, Kirika?”

“It’s.. I just… I’m so sorry,” Kirika had to force out the words, each syllable getting caught in her throat as she struggled not to start crying. After months of trying to pretend she was okay, and everything was fine, she was forced to feel what was still upsetting her with her own hands. The same hands that had caused the injury in the first place. “Your skin… it was so flawless… so soft and pale… until…”

Shirabe understood what it was just from that alone. “Oh… oh, Kirika…” she whispered, wrapping her arms tightly around her blonde lover from behind, and pulling her closer. “I told you it’s fine–”

“It’s not fine!” Kirika shouted, fresh tears already rolling down her cheek. “It’s never been fine!”

Her hands balled into fists and she pressed them roughly into her legs, her body shaking as more and more tears slowly streamed down her face. Her breathing was shaky and ragged, her words just as weak and tired.

“I keep pretending to be happy… because I love you… and I hurt you… and I didn’t want to be a burden and further contribute to your unhappiness… and I love you, and your body, just as much as I did before. The scar isn’t what bothers me.”

“Kirika, I–” Shirabe began, but Kirika held up a hand to quiet her.

“What bothers me… is that I made that scar. I can’t kiss it and tell you how beautiful you are even with it, because… I’m the one who gave you it. That was my mistake, my fault, and I don’t deserve to touch it and pretend like it’s okay that you have it.” she said as steadily as she could, the occasional pause in her words as she forced herself not to break down into relentless sobs. She closed her eyes and bit her lip, the pressure on her lip just light of causing her to bleed.

Shirabe paused a moment, taking a deep breath in before slowly breathing out, slowly gripping Kirika tighter and making her turn around to face her. “Kirika… look at me.”

Kirika turned around, but she couldn’t manage to bring her gaze up to meet her girlfriend’s.

Shirabe tilted Kirika’s head up and cupped her cheeks in her hands, calling her name again.

“Kirika.”

Kirika slowly opened her eyes, lips pressed together tightly as she choked a few more approaching sobs back.

“You need to understand,” Shirabe began, “It was my choice to save you. I accepted the risk of doing that.” Her grip tightened, and she made sure that Kirika was looking at her when she continued. “I didn’t need to save you. I did it because I wanted to. Because I couldn’t live without you. I love you, Kirika.”

Kirika nodded and deeply inhaled, shivering as her body continued to shake.

“You blame yourself… too much,” she said quietly. Kirika was about to speak up, but this time Shirabe silenced her with a gesture. “It was your scythe that hit me.. but it wasn’t you. You didn’t injure me in malice. At least… I hope not. You didn’t, right?”

The blonde quickly shook her head no, gasping for breath as her body began to slowly stop shaking.

“See…” Shirabe whispered quietly, pulling her close and trying to help steady her. “Breath… breath with me, dandelion…”

Kirika nuzzled softly into Shirabe’s shoulder, staying silent to listen to her lover’s quiet breathing, slowly syncing herself to it. She was surprised when she felt Shirabe’s heart beating rapidly in her chest, when she expected it to be steady and calm like her demeanor.

“You can feel it, can’t you?” she whispered softly, fingers slowly running through her short, blonde hair. “This heart… it beats so fast because I’m worried. It beats because I’m scared. I’m scared of losing you, as I was back then. If you were sad this long… you should’ve spoken up. I know you feel guilty, but… you can only get through this if you talk about it with me. Internalizing your trauma does no good…”

Shirabe pulled back slowly and stared into Kirika’s eyes. “This heart beats fast… and beats only for you. For as long as my heart beats, I will devote every second of my life to you. Can you promise me… you’ll keep your heart beating? For me?”

Kirika gulped and paused, not sure if she could keep the promise, but not wanting to lie. “I…”

“Yes?”

“I’ll… I’ll try…”

Shirabe smiled and graced her lips very gently against Kirika’s. “That’s all I would ever ask of you… thank you. No more withheld secrets and feelings, okay? I want to know everything you feel… even the pain.”

Kirika sniffled and slowly managed to crack a smile, wiping her eyes. “I… I think can promise that much…”

Shirabe pulled her close, closing her eyes and gripping her as if she’d lose her by letting go.

“I love you, Kirika. My very own sunshine…”

“I love you, Shirabe… my shimmering moonlight…” she murmured, before giggling slowly and wiping her eyes again. “I’m sorry, that was really bad, wasn’t it…”

Shirabe laughed with her quietly, nodding. “Cheesy… even for you,” she whispered, kissing her again. “Though… I think I could grow to like it.”