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A man and a woman allegedly shoplifted from a Dunkin Donuts in Freetown three weeks ago, which for some reason remained an unsolved mystery until the Freetown Police posted about it on Facebook yesterday.

You know you’re living in a dangerous town when two people stuffing their pockets at a Dunkin Donuts on New Years Day is the biggest crime of the year.

Maybe I’m confused here, but if they had the license plate of the vehicle three weeks ago, why exactly do they need the public’s assistance now? And why does Dunkin have magical cameras that actually show what people look like, as opposed to the scrambled porn that banks use every time they’re robbed?

Anyway, this mystery was only solved thanks to New Bedford Live sharing the FPD post on Facebook, which immediately led to the woman’s identification.

According to Missy Fournier, the woman in the picture is Fall River’s Kimberly Joseph.

Honestly, I don’t really care. If I wrote about every person who stuffed their pockets at a Dunkin Donuts I’d probably find a new line of work. It’s just not very interesting.

However, what I do find interesting is when ratchets start posting responses like this.

This whole idea that you can’t identify bad guys when you see them doing bad things because it’s “snitching,” is extremely gay and really needs to end. Shockingly the two things that Kimmy Joseph and Chelsee Barkemeyer have in common are two things that go together like peas and carrots – Fall River and rehab.

Two things that go hand in hand. The fact that this woman claims to be a clinician and is online chastising people for cooperating with law enforcement sure seems counterproductive to the goals of SSTAR.

She attempted to rationalize it by explaining that she used to do stuff like this all the time, and argued that it’s OK to shoplift so long as you’re doing it to eat.

So as long as you don’t use a gun, it’s OK to steal from people. Fall River logic 101.

Also, it was 4 AM, and as you can see in the images there was no food being served there at the time. But besides that, strong point.

She just kept going too.

“A snitch’s opinion means zero to me.”

Let me tell you whose opinion means zero to me – grown adults with tittoos who still subscribe to “stop snitching”

Awesome values you’re teaching the young crotch fruit though. Don’t cooperate with the police, cover for junkies, and call people snitches when they don’t keep it real.

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