Tallahassee Junior Museum proposes fines for anyone still calling it the “Junior Museum”

The Tallahassee Museum has enjoyed a lot of success expanding attendance in the past year with its newer attractions like the Tree to Tree Adventures course.

But a recent board meeting revealed that things aren’t all Cyprus trees and red cabooses at the park. After more than two decades since their name change, leadership is still struggling with getting locals to stop referring to the attraction as the “Junior Museum.”

“When you have ‘Junior’ in the name it devalues us, makes fundraising harder. We’ve done just about all we can think of to get people to call us the ‘Tallahassee Museum,’ social media campaigns, TV ads, even paying off Gary Yordon.” explained vice-chairman Mike Rupp.

It’s with that frustration that the Museum will soon propose county residents be fined for using the deprecated name.

“Something decisive has to be done. We haven’t had this serious of an issue since a historical reenactor admitted that the ‘fresh churned’ butter really came from Publix. Only a hit to the wallet will get people to think before they speak when it comes to our name.”

Representatives from the Museum’s Board of Trustees will outlay their plans for consideration at the next Leon County Commission meeting. Current proposals are to rely on the panopticon of social media combined with facial recognition software to identify individuals.

Fines would be levied against property taxes, and if the proposal fails, against violators who try to visit the Museum.

Free speech concerns raised by some members of the Board were waved away by President and CEO Russell Daws.

“Oh no, this isn’t censorship. It’s only censorship when the government does it, not your local zoological activity center.”