Asian Women And White Men

What Asian Women Really Think About Western Men

Page 1 of 2

In my life, I've often encountered a certain type of Western guy who was attracted to Asian women. He tended to be older, white and yes, creepy. I wanted to know why, so I set out to make a documentary. What emerged five years later, after hundreds of hours of research, including interviews with men and women who posted ads for Asian women on sites like Craigslist and Asiafriendfinder, was Seeking Asian Female, an eccentric, tender and at-times uncomfortable love story between a 60-year-old American man and his 30-year-old Chinese fiancée. I'm also creating a companion project, They're All So Beautiful, an online video series and forum to discuss the nuances of race, romance and "yellow fever."

Though the concept dates back centuries, dating Asian women, or, more accurately, the idea of dating Asian women, has officially gone mainstream. While I spoke to a lot of aging white men, I also spoke with young hipsters, black men and Latinos who desire Asian women. I heard from Asian, Asian-American and many other women about their encounters with this so-called “yellow fever.” I even interviewed a Chinese woman who’s a yenta for men seeking Asian wives in Silicon Valley. Throughout all this, a common thread emerged: myths and misconceptions about Asian women are as strongly held as ever. Understanding the difference between fantasy and reality made all the difference for these people and the true stories they shared.



Myth No. 1: Asian women make perfect wives. They have good family values and cater to the man.

Around 500 BCE, Confucius outlined relationships in which wives looked up to their husbands in perfect harmony. Times have changed, but the myth that Asian women make doting and dutiful wives still persists.

Julia Ma, owner and matchmaker of Your Asian Connection, says men who join her club are seeking “the old picture of Asian women — traditional, take care of husband, cook dinner, clean house.” She says, “Lots of guys hope for that,” but the “new generation is different.” Based in Cupertino, California, home of Apple, where over 60% of the population is of Asian descent, she introduces Asian women to Western men for a legitimate end goal of marriage. Her female clients are educated, often tech-savvy and, like her, many have been divorced. She believes that Western men are more accepting of this, yet conversely are thought to have poorer family values.

Still, Julia describes the high pressure in Asian societies for women to start families at younger ages than in the West. She proudly states that her female clients are “flexible” and “want to work together as a family unit” — but she’s quick to note that they’re “picky” and have high expectations. To them, marriage must be a two-sided contract. A wife gives face to her husband in public, but in honoring his end in private, he must put family first (not himself), cater to her in-laws and, as is traditional in countries like China and Japan, hand over control of the bank accounts to her.