LUBBOCK, TX—Placing the remainder well out of sight where he wouldn’t be tempted, local man Ben Hart told reporters Wednesday that he finally managed to stop himself after eating three advent calendars. “I said I’d only eat one, but these things are so addicting that I just started popping them in my mouth without thinking,” said Hart, adding that while he felt a little sick after scarfing down the Lindt chocolates from two Santa’s workshop advent calendars, he couldn’t help but immediately move on to a calendar shaped like a Christmas tree. “Something about little chocolates behind little windows just makes me into some kind of animal. If I don’t stop myself, I could easily eat a couple dozen of these things.” At press time, a frenzied Hart had devoured the entire contents of a Nativity-themed advent calendar in under two minutes.

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