Mr. Ratburn Has Tourettes

By NocturneD

Note: Just want to stray away from the "Strange Adventure" and since I now have a job at Giant Eagle where really it's okay. Just beat tired when I come home and barely want to do anything while I get home, not even write stories or attempt those. But I'm trying and this is one of my return stories for the Arthur section. Don't tell the Naruto section because I still owe them a few updates on my stories there. And plus, I want to keep my title of most random writer in this section!

Warning: Tourettes is a real disorder and please don't give me a bunch of crap about being insensitive towards people with these kinds of problems. We already have Arthur being a retard and look how that story came out. Just sit back and try to enjoy, you don't like please just leave this story behind. If you want to review and don't like what you see, please leave a constructive criticism instead of stupid reviews saying I suck and can't write for shit. Okay? Onto the story.

Caution: extreme language

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Chapter 1: BULLSHT!

Arthur and his friends were sitting in the classroom on a sunny Monday morning waiting for their teacher to finally arrive back from the hospital for reasons unknown to them but more likely the adults in Elwood City to understand. The clock read nine thirty as Mr. Haney instructed them to complete their assignments from last week before Mr. Ratburn had to go to the hospital, just then the door opened up to reveal Mr. Haney wearing his usual blue suit and walks in with Mr. Ratburn who looked a little bit more sluggish than usual trailing behind him.

"Class... may I have your attention?" Mr. Haney asked while coughing to get their attention, the kids looked up. "Mr. Ratburn is back from the hospital and is diagnosed with tourettes, a syndrome that affects the brain in a way that... makes him shout out random vulgarities and... since it's uncontrollable... Mr. Ratburn will be saying some... strange things..." Mr. Haney took off his glasses and cleaned them with a cloth from his pocket, "So I want you all to try your best to keep up with Mr. Ratburn and still give him the same respect you would give him before he left..."

Mr. Ratburn looked around the classroom with a smug look on his face, looking like he hasn't had a good night's sleep or even looked like he combed his hair. The children looked at him like he was a more casual Mr. Ratburn, probably didn't want to fully suit up for work again, really who would? Mr. Haney slid his glasses back on and continued talking, "I'll be turning the class back to you Mr. Ratburn so they're all yours." The principal walked past the teacher and left the class.

Mr. Ratburn coughed and tried to start his new lesson plan, "Okay... children we're gonna start the day off with some math problems..." The rat man grabbed the nearest piece of chalk he could find on the board behind him and started writing, the children moaned in disappointment, suddenly... The chalk made a horrible screech as Mr. Ratburn started to grind his teeth in anger and then fisted the chalkboard. The children gasped and then Ratburn tried to go back to his lesson, "Now what's twenty divided by three hundred times A?"

Binky raised his hand, Ratburn turned his head and called on Binky in a grunt pitch in his voice, "Binky?"

"Can I go to the bathroom?" Binky asked.

"FUCK YOU KID YOU'RE A DICK!" Mr. Ratburn shouted at the top of his lungs, the entire class gasped in surprise.

Arthur leaned into Buster to whisper into his ear, "This must be the tourettes thing the grown ups were talking about?"

"ARTHUR YOU LITTLE FUCK SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Mr. Ratburn shouted as he pointed the chalk piece at the aardvark child with glasses, everyone gasped again. Suddenly Mr. Ratburn tried to calm down, "Sorr... sorry children it's just that it's... AH FUCK!!!"

About two hours into the class time, Mr. Ratburn tried everything to overcome his tourettes but it was like trying to hold in a sneeze so he was going to shout something vulgar sooner or later and probably hurt someone's feelings. So he decided to do a spelling be with the class, but it wasn't going as he had planned.

"Francine... your word is... PISS!!!" Mr. Ratburn shouted, what he really wanted to say was the word Chlorophyll but this word will have to do.

"Piss... Uh... can you give me the definition?" Francine asked.

"PISS COMES OUT OF YOUR DICK BITCH!" Mr. Ratburn shouted and almost fell out of his chair, half of the class was laughing or giggling.

"Uh... Okay, can you use it in a sentence?" Francine asked again.

"PISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" Mr. Ratburn shouted from behind his desk.

"Uh... P-I-S-S... Piss..." Francine spelled out.

"Good... you can stay up there in line WITH THE OTHER FUCKING RETARDS!!!" Ratburn shouted, "ARTHUR STOP TOUCHING YOUR DICK!"

"But I'm not touching my..." Arthur tried to explain as his hands were no where near his crotch.

"YOU'RE TOUCHING YOUR DICK STOP IT YOU LITTLE PUSSY!!!" Ratburn shouted while he pointed.

"Uh Mr. Ratburn, can I go to the bathroom? I still didn't go a couple hours ago..." Binky asked.

"GO SHIT IN YOUR DESK!!!" Ratburn yelled.

"Boy I'm already counting the days until summer arrives..." Buster whispered to the Brain.

To be continued?

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Note: Yes, just a bunch of random crap and swearing? Does it make the story good? Probably, maybe not. Now if you don't know the entire truth about tourettes syndrome then please look it up on wikipedia because I could explain it here but I rather you look it up yourself. Plus, if anyone noticed yeah this is sort of copying the tourettes guy on his website as he shouts random things too, whatever... just good to write again.