Alabama

Wearing blue jeans on Noble Street is prohibited by law in Anniston, Alabama.

It is unlawful for any woman of ‘uncertain chastity’ to be on the streets later than 9:00pm in Linden, Alabama.

Bear wrestling matches are against the law.

It is against the law to play domino’s on Sunday.

Blindfolded drivers are prohibited from operating motor vehicles. Phew!

Maiming oneself to escape duty is prohibited by law.

Stabbing oneself to gain sympathy from another individual is prohibited by law.

Wearing a fake mustache that causes laughter in church is against the law.

Driving the wrong way down a one way street is prohibited by law unless there is a lantern attached to the front of your vehicle.

Women’s shoes with a sharp, high heel is against the law.

Seducing an innocent woman using temptation, deception, flattery or a false promise of marriage is against the law.

A man may not beat a woman with a stick with a diameter greater than his thumb in Jasper, Alabama.

Selling peanuts after sundown on Wednesdays is against the law in Lee County, Alabama.

Wearing masks in public is prohibited by law.

Men are not legally entitled to spit in front of women.

Howling at women inside town limits is prohibited in Mobile, Alabama. Outside of town limits? Howl away, I suppose.

The opening of an umbrella on the street is prohibited in Montgomery, Alabama. The reasoning? Opening an umbrella may spook horses.

Placing salt on a railroad track is not only against the law but this charge is punishable by death.

It is against the law to chain your alligator to a fire hydrant. Logical but really? Is this a big enough problem to warrant a law?

I don’t get this one at all, but here it is. It is against the law to put an ice cream cone in your back pocket.

Alaska

Moose are not permitted to have sex on city streets in Fairbanks, Alaska. Not sure how that one’s enforced but there it is.

You’re legally entitled to hunt bears in Alaska but waking one to take a photograph? Not acceptable and prohibited by law.

It is against the law to give a moose alcoholic beverages in Fairbanks, Alaska.

Whispering in someone’s ear if they are hunting moose is prohibited by law.

Pushing a live moose out of a moving airplane is against the law. I can’t imagine there needed to be a law to tell the citizens of Alaska that this one is a bad idea.

Kangaroos are banned from all barber shops by law.

Arizona

A technicality in the way the law is written allows for a man to beat his wife but not more than once a month.

A misdemeanor is upgraded to a felony is the individual committing the crime is wearing a red mask.

Donkeys are prohibited from sleeping in bathtubs by law.

It is illegal to drive an automobile in reverse in Glendale, Arizona.

Hunting camels is prohibited by law in Arizona.

Naked photography is prohibited by law before noon on Sundays.

You have to love laws that enforce good manners. It is against the law in the state of Arizona to turn down someone’s request for a glass of water.

It is against the law for more than six girls to live in the same household in Maricopa County, Arizona.

Wearing suspenders is prohibited by law in Nogales, Arizona. I suppose that means Larry King won’t be visiting.

Riding a horse up the steps of the country courthouse in Prescott is forbidden.

Want to cut down a cactus in Arizona? You may want to reconsidering. Cutting down a cactus in the state of Arizona is punishable by up to 25 years in prison.

Women are not allowed to wear pants in Tuscon, Arizona according to what I have to assume is a very seldom enforced law.

You are legally entitled to protect yourself or your home with force in Arizona but only using the same weapon the criminal has. So let’s say you’re being attacked with a knife and just don’t have one handy. You do, however, have a gun. In the eyes of the law, you’re s.o.l.

Dildos are legal in Arizona. Having more than two dildos in one home? Illegal.

On that note, oral sex is considered sodomy in the state of Arizona.

Arkansas

Voters are allowed only five minutes to mark their ballots by law in the state of Arkansas.

It is against the law to keep an alligator in a bathtub.

It is against the law to mispronounce ‘Arkansas’ in the state of Arkansas. For the record, it’s pronounced “Ark-an-saw”.

Killing “any living creature” is prohibited by law in Fayetteville, Arkansas. That mosquito biting your arm? Better not swat it lest you break the law.

You may get up to 30 days in prison should you flirt with a member of the opposite sex on the streets of Little Rock.

It is against the law to walk a cow down Main Street in Little Rock after 1:00 pm on Sundays.

Another good one from Little Rock: sounding the horn on a vehicle where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00pm is prohibited by law.

Like in Arizona, oral sex is considered sodomy in the state of Arkansas.

California

It is against the law to use used underwear to wash a car at a car wash in San Francisco.

Peacocks have the right of way in Arcadia, California while ducks have the right of way in Temecula.

The wearing of cowboy boots is prohibited in Blythe, California unless you own at least two cows.

Detonating a nuclear device in Chico, California is punishable by a fine of up to $500.

Trying to stop children from playfully jumping over puddles of water is prohibited by law in the state of California.

Washing your car in the street is prohibited by law in Downey, California.

Giving or receiving oral sex is against the law in the state of California. Prudes.

Driving more than 2,000 sheep at a time down Hollywood Blvd. is prohibited by law. I have to assume this one has been on the books for a while.

It is against the law to cry on the witness stand during a trial in Los Angeles. I’m sure that’s a law that’s never been broken.

It is against the law to whistle for a bird that has escaped before 7:00 am in Berkeley, California. That seems like a law that was put into place over a very specific incident.

Having caller ID is prohibited by law in the state of California.

State offices are required by law to ensure all phones are answered before the ninth ring.

It is considered forgery to sell a gold piece in California if it does not have tooth marks in it and doing so is therefore against the law.

A man may beat his wife with a leather strap or belt but it must be no more than 2 inches as long as his wife gives consent before the beating takes place. A man can use a wider strap if the wife is okay with that.

It is against the law to use one tub to bathe two babies in Los Angeles, California.

It is against the law to beat a rug outside of your home in San Francisco, California.

Shooting at game from a moving vehicle is considered a misdemeanor unless you are shooting at a whale which just makes very little sense to me at all.

A secretary is prohibited by law from being alone in an office with his or her boss.

Eating an orange in your bathtub is prohibited by law. We’ve all heard that one but it never gets any less amusing.

Piling horse manure on a sidewalk in California is apparently okay unless that pile is higher than 6 feet.

Owning or raising roosters is considered disturbing the peace in Lompoc, California and is therefore against the law.

It is illegal to use foul language on mini-golf courses in Long Beach, California.

Hunting moths under streetlamps is strictly forbidden by law in Los Angeles, California which begs the following question: who was doing this and the first place?

Licking toads is prohibited by law in Los Angeles, California. I believe Family Guy did an episode about why this one’s a good idea.

Zoot suits (look them up) are against the law in Los Angeles, California.

I’m not sure what this one means but bothering a butterfly in Pacific Grove, California can net you a fine of up to $500.

Vehicles without drivers must stay below 60 MPH.

Walking a camel down Palm Canyon Drive in Palm Springs, California is prohibited between the hours of 4:00 and 6:00 pm.

This is a law I can get behind. Having Christmas lights on your home later than February 2nd can be punished by a fine of up to $250 in San Diego, California.

You are legally entitled to walk your elephant down the road in San Francisco as long as you have it on a leash.

It is against the law to own more than two cats or dogs in San Jose, California.

The playing of percussion instruments in banned by law from the beaches in Santa Monica, California.

Women are not legally allowed to drive while wearing house coats in the state of California.

And finally, my favorite dumb law from California: before setting a mouse trap, citizens must first obtain a hunting license.

Colorado

Car dealerships are prohibited from showing cars on Sundays.

It is against the law to bring a pack mule or horse above the ground floor of any building in Crippe Creek, Colorado.

It is against the law to let a neighbor borrow a vacuum cleaner in Denver, Colorado.

The mistreatment of rats is prohibited by law in Denver, Colorado.

Barbers are legally entitled to give nude customers massages but only if the massage is given for instructional purposes.

Pueblo, Colorado prohibits raising or allowing dandelions to grow on lawns within city limits.

Women wearing red dresses are prohibited from the streets of Colorado after 7:00 pm.

Men may not legally kiss women who are asleep in Logan County, Colorado.

Possibly my favorite dumb law of all time: Sterling, Colorado forbids allowing a cat to run loose unless it has been properly fitted with a taillight. Ha!

Connecticut

Playing Scrabble while waiting for a politician to speak is prohibited in Atwoodville, Connecticut thanks to a local ordinance.

Eating in your car is prohibited by law in Bloomfield, Connecticut.

It is against the law to walk backwards after sunset in Devon, Connecticut.

Homeowners and business owners are only legally entitled to display white Christmas lights in Guilford, Connecticut.

Hartford, Connecticut forbids walking on your hands while crossing the street.

Dogs with tattoos must be reported to the police.

Performing a pirouette while crossing the street is prohibited by law.

Campaigning at dumps is illegal for politicians in the state of Connecticut.

Discharging a firearm from a public roadway is prohibited which just sort of makes sense.

Disposing of used razor blades is against the law which makes one wonder what people are supposed to do with them.

Even when a firetruck is traveling to a fire it is not allowed to legally travel over 25 MPH in New Britain, Connecticut.

Only visually impaired people may use white canes by law.

It is against the law for two ‘imbeciles’ or ‘feeble-minded persons’ to marry.

Beauticians are prohibited from singing, humming or whistling while working on clients.

It is against the law in the state of Connecticut to educate dogs.

Pickles are not legally considered pickles unless they bounce.

Delaware

Getting married on a dare is against the law in Delaware and is considered grounds for annulment.

Wearing pants considered “form fitting” around the waist is against the law in Lewes, Delaware.

It is legal to sell dead people in the state of Delaware but only if you have the proper license.

Florida

It is against the law to sing while wearing a bathing suit in Sarasota, Florida.

Single (as in unwed) women are not legally entitled to parachute on Sundays. Breaking this law could result in a fine or even jail time.

Hanging clothes on a clothesline outside of your home is against the law in Cape Coral, Florida.

It is illegal to be under the influence of narcotics while also intoxicated in Daytona Beach, Florida.

Sex with porcupines (freaking ouch!) is illegal in the state of Florida. Weirder than the law? Anyone who actually wants to have sex with a porcupine.

Citizens must pay the same parking fee they would pay for a vehicle if they tie an elephant to a parking meter.

Citizens are legally required to inform their neighbor if the neighbor’s house is on fire. Do people really need a law to tell them to do this?

Fishing while driving across a bridge is illegal – and probably pretty difficult.

It is against the law to imitate animals in Miami, Florida.

Chickens are protected species in Key West, Florida and are therefore protected under the law.

Oral sex is illegal in the state of Florida.

The only legal sexual position in Florida is the missionary position.

Falling asleep under a hair dryer in a salon can earn a woman a fine. The beauty salon can also be fined if a woman falls asleep under a hair dryer in their establishment.

It is against the law to break more than three dishes a day. It is also against the law to chip more than four cups or saucers.

Georgia

All citizens in Acworth, Georgia are required by law to own a rake.

Every homeowner in Kennesaw, Georgia (unless the homeowner is disabled, is considered a conscientious objector or is a convicted felon) is required by law to own a gun.

It is against the law in the state of Georgia to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or a street lamp. I can’t imagine this law is often applied.

It is against the law to keep a donkey in a bathtub.

According to the law, citizens of Gainesville, Georgia must eat chicken with their hands.

Theaters may show films on Sundays in that state of Georgia but in order to legally do so, one Sunday each month must be devoted to religious material.

It is against the law to curse or swear in the presence of a corpse. You don’t want to offend the dead, after all.

How did the chicken cross the road in Quitman, Georgia? It didn’t as it is against the law for chickens to cross the road in the Georgia city.

When changing the clothes of a storefront mannequin, the shades on the windows must be down according to Georgia state law.

In Jonesboro, Georgia, the phrase “Oh, boy!” is prohibited by law. This one has apparently been repealed, however.

Spitting from a car or bus is illegal in Marietta, Georgia. Spitting from a truck? Perfectly acceptable in the eyes of the law.

Simple battery is your right as long as you are provoked by “fighting words” in the state of Georgia.

Hawaii

All citizens of Hawaii are required by law to own a boat. Residents who do not own boats may be fined.

It is against the law to place a coin in one’s ear in Hawaii.

Want a tattoo behind your ear or on your eyelid? Make sure you have a registered physician there or you will be breaking the law.

Shooting galleries are allowed to offer prizes as long as those prizes do not contain alcohol. This one just kind of makes sense.

Idaho

Fishing from the back of a giraffe is against the law in Boise, Idaho. Fishing from the back of a camel is against the law state wide.

Persons over the age of 88 are not legally entitled to ride motorcycles in Idaho Falls, Idaho.

In the state of Idaho, it is against the law for a man to give his wife of girlfriend a box of candy if that box of candy weights less than 50 lbs. Sweet!

Walking down the street with a cane with a red tip is against the law.

Although not often enforced, unmarried couples in Idaho may be jailed for up to six months.

It is against the law to ride a merry-go-round on Sundays in Idaho for some reason.

Illinois

Dwarf tossing is prohibited by law in bars in Springfield, Illinois. Big fan of the sport? You can legally do it elsewhere in town if you obtain the proper permit.

The officially recognized language in the state of Illinois is “American”. Speaking “English” is against the law. I’m not sure what the difference is.

This one is just flat out disturbing. In Champaign, Illinois there is a law on the books that expressly forbids “peeing in your neighbors mouth”. Really? This was happening enough that a law was needed?

Giving a dog whiskey is against the law in Chicago, Illinois.

Flying kites within city limits is against the law in Chicago, Illinois.

Spitting is against the law in Chicago, Illinois.

It is illegal to hum on a public street on Sundays in Cicero, Illinois.

Attempting to have sex with your dog (???) is against the law in Crete, Illinois.

Chaining a wheelbarrow baring a “For Sale” sign to a tree is against the law in Des Plaines, Illinois.

Men with mustaches are not legally entitled to kiss women in Eureka, Illinois.

Evanston, Illinois has outlawed bowling, trick-or-treating on Halloween and changing clothes in a vehicle with the shades drawn unless there is a fire.

Beating a rat with a baseball bat in Galesburg, Illinois can earn you a $1,ooo fine as well it should.

Police officers and other officers of the law are legally entitled to use a slingshot. The use of a slingshot by any other citizen is prohibited.

It is against the law in the state of Illinois for barbers to apply shaving cream to a customer’s face using their fingers.

It is against the law to give a domesticated pet (dogs, cats etc) a lit cigar.

Women greater than 200 lbs are prohibited by law from riding horses.

It is against the law in the state of Illinois to take a french poodle to the opera.

Fishing while wearing pajamas is against the law.

According to Chicago state law, anyone who is physically diseased, maimed, disfigured or is “otherwise an unsightly or disgusting object” is not allowed out in public.

In Chicago, Illinois bars are not legally entitled to serve alcohol to anyone considered feeble minded. “I’m afraid you’ll need to pass this IQ test before I can serve you, sir. I think you may be feeble minded and I don’t want to break the law.”

In Joliet, Illinois it is against the law to mispronounce the name of the town. Such a crime is classed as a misdemeanor and can net the criminal a $5 fine. For the record, it’s pronounced “Joe-lee-ette” not “Jolly-ette”.

It is against the law for bees to fly over the village of Kirkland, Illinois or even fly through the streets. I can’t imagine the conviction rate is terribly high on this one considering how difficult it would be to arrest the perpetrator without being stung.

Ice skating on the Riverside pond is against the law between the months of June and August in Moline, Illinois.

In Normal, Illinois making faces at dogs is prohibited by law.

Indiana

Oh to live in Indiana where “spiteful gossip” is against the law, as it talking behind a person’s back.

If a man is over the age of 18 he must always ensure any passenger in his car under the age of 17 is wearing socks and shoes or he could be charged with statutory rape.

Altering the color of a bird or rabbit (dying it, staining it etc) may be charged with a Class B misdemeanor.

Thanks to the “Act for the Prevention of Gaming” (also known as the “Let’s Kill Fun Act”, I assume), a person found to be playing cards can be fined up to $3 per pack or cards being played with.

In the state of Indiana, it is against the law for anyone over the age of 14 to damn, swear by the name of God, Jesus or the Holy Ghost or to use other profanity. Using offensive language can result in a fine of $3 per offense although the maximum one person can be charged in a single day is $10.

Bathing is against the law in winter months in Indiana. This is clearly not a law that is still enforced.

Beech Grove, Indiana strictly prohibits eating watermelon in the park so make sure you pack something else in your picnic basket.

Heading out to the theater or cinema or taking a street car is against the law if you’ve consumed garlic less than four hours previously.

By law, all hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.

Barbers are not legally entitled to threaten to cut off the ears of children in Elkhart, Indiana.

It is illegal to give a monkey cigarettes or for monkeys to smoke cigarettes in South Bend, Indiana. The second may seem unenforceable but think again. The town of South Bend has in fact prosecuted a monkey for smoking a cigarette. The trial took place back in 1924. The monkey was found guilty, fined $0.25 and ordered to pay court costs which is just freaking ridiculous.

A man who becomes sexually aroused in public may be charged as this is illegal in the state of Indiana.

Selling cars on Sundays is against the law in Indiana.

Catching a fish with your bare hands is not only impressive but also illegal in the state of Indiana.

I’m not sure how this is possible but in the state of Indiana, the value of Pi is 4 instead of 3.1415.

It is against the law to order a drink at the bar and carry it to your table. This is the responsibility of the waiter or waitress. If your drink needs to be poured from a bottle into a glass, however, you must do this yourself.

If you have a dependent that needs medical care, you do not have to pay for that medical care if you have prayed for that dependent.

Iowa

Mustached men are not legally entitled to kiss a woman in public.

Those who own or are employed by an establishment that serves alcohol (bars, restaurants etc) are prohibited by law from having a drink at the same establishment after closing time.

Running a tab is against the law in the state of Iowa.

This one made my head hurt. It is against the law for horses to eat fire hydrants in Marshalltown, Iowa. Seriously.

All hotels in Dubuque, Iowa are required by law to have a water bucket and hitching post at the front of the building.

Wow. Fire departments in Fort Madison, Iowa are required by law to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before they head out to fight a real fire. Hope it’s not a bad one!

Men are not legally entitled to wink at women they do not personally know in Ottumwa, Iowa.

If you are a piano player who only has one arm, don’t try to make a buck off your talent in Iowa where you are legally required to play for free.

Kansas

All businesses Dodge City, Kansas are legally required to provide water toughs for horses.

This is just asking for trouble. Should two trains meet on a track in Kansas, one is not legally entitled to proceed until the other has passed. This law applies to both trains which begs the question, how do they proceed?

If you say the name George Washington in Kansas City, Kansas, you are legally required to also say “blessed be his name” or you may face a fine of up to $0.50.

It is against the law to throw knives at men wearing striped suites in Natoma, Kansas.

It is against the law to put ice cream on cherry pie in the state of Kansas.

All cars entering Lawrence, Kansas are legally required to blow the horn before actually entering city limits to notify horses of their arrival.

It is against the law for persons to wear a bee in their hat in Lawrence, Kansas.

Not sure I see the logic here. While it is perfectly legal for a minor to purchase a shotgun in Kansas City, they are not legally entitled to purchase cap guns.

Musical car horns are against the law in Russell, Kansas.

It is against the law to install bathtubs in Topeka, Kansas.

Kentucky

Sending bottles of wine, spirits or beer as a gift to a friend is strictly prohibited by law in the state of Kentucky. Breaking this law is punishable by up to five years in prison.

This one kind of made sense at first glance as a woman standing on the side of a highway in a bikini could be distracting to some drivers and the distraction could result in accidents. That sense is thrown out the window when you read the law as it’s written. “No female shall appear in a bathing suit on any highway within this state unless she is escorted by at least two officers or unless she be armed with a club.” Right. It’s the club thing that throws you off right? Check out the amendment later made to the law. “The provisions of this statute shall not apply to any female weighing less than 60 pounds nor exceeding 200 pounds; nor shall it apply to female horses.” WHAT??

The state of Kansas requires any nude people in your home to be licensed. Licensed for what? Not sure. Not sure I want to know.

Not sure if you’re sober? According to Kentucky state law, you are in fact considered sober until you “cannot hold onto the ground.”

It is illegal to shoot off a policeman’s tie in Frankfort, Kentucky.

Every citizen of Kentucky is required by law to take at least one shower each year.

It is against the law for a woman to buy a hat without her husband’s permission in Owensboro, Kentucky.

Feel like taking a nude stroll around your property in Kentucky? You’re out of luck unless you feel like breaking the law or unless you have the appropriate permit.

Louisiana

Have false teeth? Want to bite someone? Better think again. In the state of Louisiana, biting someone with your real teeth is considered simple assault which is often tried as a misdemeanor. If you happen to have false teeth and bit someone with those? Aggravated assault – a much more serious crime with much more serious penalties.

Gargling in public is prohibited by law in the state of Louisiana.

It is against the law for a woman to drive a vehicle unless her husband is in front of the car waving a flag. Although I’m sure this one is just an old law that got forgotten about and is never enforced, it does make for an interesting visual.

A citizen of Lafayette, Louisiana who wants to play a musical instrument for any reason other than attracting attention is required by law to have a license to do so.

Know your limits in New Orleans, Louisiana, folks. While it’s perfectly legal to walk the streets or even drive with a drink in the city, should you have a little too much, fall over and block the sidewalk, you’ve known broken the law and could be charged.

It is against the law to have sex on a bed you are considering buying or to even pretend to have sex on said bed while you are shopping for mattresses or beds.

It is against the law for a mourner attending a wake to consume more than three sandwiches. The idea that there may be sandwich police out there commanding people to drop the ham and swiss or turkey on rye makes me smile for reasons I can’t entirely explain.

Tying an alligator to a fire hydrant is not only a stupid idea in the state of Louisiana but is also against the law.

Taxi drivers get no love – at least not while they’re working in the state of Louisiana where there is a law in place that prohibits taxi drivers from having sex in the front seat of their car for the duration of their shift. No word about the backseat though.

Snoring is against the law in Louisiana unless every window is closed and locked securely.

Maine

Not a fan of people who leave their Christmas lights up all year round? Neither is the state of Maine. Leaving your Christmas decorations up past January 14th could earn you a fine.

It is against the law to walk down the street while playing violin in Augusta, Maine.

This one seems like a good idea but should there really be a law prohibiting people from walking down the street with their shoes untied? Well, there’s one in Portland.

Got a cold? Better stay home in Waterville, Maine, where blowing your nose in public is against the law.

It is illegal in the state of Maine to step out of a plane in flight. I can’t imagine this one has ever been a problem for anyone who was actually concerned about breaking the law. Although, well, skydivers. Wonder if that counts.

Maryland

It is against the law to spit on the sidewalks in Baltimore, Maryland but perfectly legal to spit on city roadways. Aim carefully?

Cursing or swearing inside city limited is prohibited by law in Baltimore.

Throwing bales of hay from a second story window within city limits is against the law in Baltimore.

Taking a lion to the movies is prohibited by law in Baltimore. I’m sorry, I just don’t get that one.

In Columbia, Maryland, citizens are not legally entitled to have an exposed antenna outside of their home but are legally entitled to have a satellite dish up to 25′ in size. Similarly, citizens are not legally entitled to have clothes hanging on a clothesline outside of their home but are legally entitled to have clothes hanging over the fences of their home.

Citizens of Maryland are not legally entitled to eat while swimming in the ocean.

Forecasting the future or pretending to forecast the future is against the line in Caroline County, Maryland and a conviction for this crime could net the perpetrator a fine of up to $100 or six months in prison.

Blocking a sidewalk with a box in Baltimore, Maryland could land you a $1 fine.

Professional croquet players are not legally entitled to play the sport before 2pm on Sundays.

It is against the law to mistreat oysters in Baltimore, Maryland.

Washing or scrubbing sinks (regardless of how dirty they may become) is forbidden by law in Baltimore.

If a woman goes through her husband’s pockets while he is sleeping, she has committed a crime in the eyes of the law according to the state of Maryland.

It is against the law for a man to buy a female bartender a drink.

Selling condoms in vending machines is against the law in Maryland unless the vending machine is in an establishment where alcohol is served or consumed.

It is illegal to go to the park in a sleeveless shirt in Maryland. Breaking this law could net you a $10 fine.

It is illegal to raise or allow thistles to grow in one’s arm in Maryland.

Massachusetts

While engaging in sexual intercourse, it is against the law for the woman to be on top.

It is against the law for a establishment that serves alcohol to offer specials on drinks containing alcohol.

According to the law in the state of Massachusetts, all men are required to take a gun to church every Sunday.

Playing the fiddle in Boston is against the law.

Eating peanuts in church is against the law in Boston.

While on the grounds of the Boston Commons, women are prohibited by law from wearing heels over three inches in height.

No citizen residing in Boston, Massachusetts is legally entitled to own more than three dogs.

Bullets are not a legal form or currency in Massachusetts although I’m quite sure they’re not legal tender anywhere.

Children in Massachusetts are technically legally entitled to smoke although they are not able to legally purchase cigarettes.

Any citizen found guilty of defacing a milk carton may be fined up to $10.

In Hingham, Massachusetts colored lights on your home are prohibited by law if those lights are visible from main street. White lights are fine. Similarly, any citizen living on Main Street in Hingham must approve colors with the Historical Society before they may paint their house.

It is against the law to take a dog onto the commons in Hopkinton, Massachusetts despite the fact that it’s perfectly legal to take horses and cows there.

It’s against the law to frighten a pigeon.

It’s against the law to go to bed without a bath but it’s also against the law to have a bath without a physician’s permission. Pretty sure neither of those laws are enforced if they are in fact still on the books.

It is not only kind of gross to put tomatoes in clam chowder but it’s also against the law in the state of Massachusetts.

Selling less than twenty-four ducklings at a time before May 1st is against the law. It is also against the law to sell chicks, ducklings or rabbits that have been artificially colored (dye, paint, stain etc). I support this one entirely.

Squirt guns are against the law in Marlboro, Massachusetts. Buying, selling or possessing one is prohibited by law.

The mayor of Newton, Massachusetts is required by law to give every family in town a hog.

Gorillas are not allowed in the back seats of cars by law in the state of Massachusetts.

Reading books or newspapers in the streets after 8:00 pm is against the law in Southbridge, Massachusetts.

Michigan

Married women in Michigan state are technically not legally entitled to cut their hair without their husband’s permission because, according to the law, a husband owns his wife’s hair.

Any person over the age of 12 is legally entitled to a handgun license unless they’ve been convicted of a felony.

A farmer is legally entitled to have sex with his chickens, cows, goats, horses and pigs in Clawson, Michigan.

In Detroit, Michigan couples are legally entitled to have sex in their vehicles but only if the vehicle is parked on property owned by the couple.

It is against the law to sleep in a bathtub in Detroit, Michigan.

It a burglar or robber is injured while inside a home, that burglar or robber is legally entitled to file a law suit against the homeowner.

It is against the law to smoke a cigarette in bed in the state of Michigan.

Minnesota

Children under the age of 12 are not legally entitled to talk on the phone unless they are monitored by a parent in Blue Earth, Minnesota.

Every bathtub in the state of Minnesota is legally required to have feet.

Men who drive motorcycles are legally required to wear shirts while riding.

It is against the law to eat hamburgers on Sundays.

It is against the law to tease skunks in the state of Minnesota.

Mississippi

Adultery is illegal in Mississippi as is fornication. Fornication is defined under law as “living together while not married”. Breaking either of these laws could result in a fine of up to $500 or 6 months in prison.

Better avoid cattle rustling in Mississippi. This offence is punishable by hanging.

If you want to take your dog for a walk in Temperance, Mississippi you better make sure you have some doggie diapers ready as it is against the lot to walk your dog if it’s not wearing these garments.

It is against the law to “create unnecessary noises” in Oxford, Mississippi.

It is against the law for a man to become sexually aroused in public.

I’m not sure why one would want to but shaving in the center of Main Street is against the law in Tylertown.

“Unnatural intercourse”, even between two consenting adults, could mean up to $10,000 in fines and 10 years in prison. Insane.

Committing the crime of “vagrancy” could net you a $201 fine or 30 days in prison.

Missouri

A person under 21 who takes out the trash needs to be very careful about what is in those trash bags. If there is even one empty alcohol can or bottle in those bags, the person could be charged with illegal possession of alcohol.

I don’t know what this means but it sounds okay in my books. “Worrying” squirrels is against the law in Excelsior Springs, Missouri.

It is against the law for four or more women to rent an apartment together.

It is against the law to install a bathtub that has four legs that are similar in appearance to animal paws.

In Marceline, minors are prohibited by law from purchasing lighters. They are, however, allowed to buy rolling papers and tobacco.

In Mile, Missouri, it is against the law to frighten a baby. One question. Why would someone want to frighten a baby?

It is illegal to sell or give alcohol to elephants in Natchez, Missouri.

Montana

Not only is it against the law for a wife to open her husband’s mail, it’s classed as a felony.

If you have a sheep in the cab of your truck, it is required by law that you also ensure the sheep has a chaperon.

Unmarried women are not legally entitled to fish alone. Married women, on the other hand, are allowed to go fishing alone but not on Sundays.

Nebraska

If a child belches during church services, the parents of the child can be arrested.

Barbers are not legally entitled to shave a man’s chest in Omaha, Nebraska.

Tavern owners are not legally entitled to serve beer unless a pot of soup is also being prepared.

A mother is prohibited by law from giving her child a perm unless she has the proper license issued by the state.

Nevada

By law, a man is only allowed to buy drinks for himself and three other friends at any one time.

Pawning your dentures or false teeth is against the law in Las Vegas, Nevada.

Unprotected sex (sex without a condom) is against the law in Nevada.

It is against the law to serve alcohol to an imbecile.

It is against the law to ride a camel on any highway in the state of Nevada.

Hosting marathon dances is against the law in Reno, Nevada.

Hiding a spray painted shopping cart in the basement of your home is against the law in Reno, Nevada.

New Hampshire

It is against the law in New Hampshire to clean up a national park or forest without a permit.

It is against the law to pay off gambling debts by selling the clothes you are wearing.

It is against the law to check into a hotel giving a fake name.

If you use the bathroom on a Sunday in New Hampshire, make sure you don’t look up as looking up while using the bathroom on a Sunday is against the law in the state of New Hampshire.

New Jersey

It is against the law for a vehicle to pass a horse drawn wagon or carriage on the streets of New Jersey.

Frowning is against the law in Bernards Township, New Jersey.

Cat owners in Cresskill, New Jersey are required to attach at least three bells to their cat’s collar so that the cat will not be able to sneak up on birds.

Convicted of driving while intoxicated? No more vanity plates for you by law in New Jersey.

It is against the law to buy ice cream after 6:00 pm in Newark, New Jersey unless you have a note from your doctor.

Slurping soup is against the law in New Jersey.

Men are not legally entitled to knit during fishing season.

Frowning at a police officer is prohibited by law.

It is against the law to sell raw hamburger in Ocean City, New Jersey.

New Mexico

Women are not legally entitled to appear in public if they are unshaven in Carrizozo, New Mexico.

It is against the law to carry a lunch box on Main Street in Las Cruces, New Mexico.

New York

If you want to hang clothes on a clothes line you must have the proper permit to do so.

When a man leaves the house in Carmel, New York, he is required by law to ensure his pants and jacket match.

It is legal to teach a parrot to speak but it is illegal to teach a parrot to squawk.

It is against the law for a father to try to discourage feminine behavior in his son through the use of derogatory terms.

Jumping off the Empire State Building is against the law. Obviously.

North Carolina

It is against the law to use an elephant to plow a cotton field.

It is against the law to sneeze on the streets of Asheville, North Carolina.

If you sing out of tune for more than 30 seconds in Nags Head, North Carolina, you can be fined.

Oral sex is considered a crime against nature in the state of North Carolina.

The law requires dog owners to pay property taxes on their dogs in Rocky Mount, North Carolina.

North Dakota

It is against the law to serve beer and pretzels at the same time.

It is against the law to wear a hat while dancing or while attending an event where dancing may take place in Fargo, North Dakota.

Keeping an elk in your backyard sandbox is prohibited by law.

Falling asleep with your shoes on is against the law in North Dakota.

Ohio

Upfront – not sure this one’s true but apparently you need a license to kill a housefly within 16o feet of a church.

It is against the law to use or install slot machines in outhouses in Bexley, Ohio.

It is against the law for cars to frighten horses in Centerville, Ohio.

You must have a hunting license to catch mice in Cleveland, Ohio.

Because the shiny surface may reflect a woman’s underwear, women are not legally entitled to wear patent leather shoes in in Cleveland, Ohio.

Leaning against a public building in Clinton County, Ohio could earn you a fine as such an act is against the law.

It is against the law to excessively honk the horn on your vehicle in Fairview Park, Ohio.

It is against the law for a dog to urinate on a parking meter in Marysville, Ohio which I have to assume means it’s illegal to allow your dog to urinate on a parking meter as well.

Riding on the roof of a taxi cab is against the law.

Running out of gas is not only inconvenient but also illegal in the state of Ohio.

A woman who strips her clothing off in front of a man’s picture is breaking the law in Oxford, Ohio.

Unshaven women are not allowed in public in Oxford, Ohio.

Getting a fish drunk is against the law.

While you are legally entitled to throw a snake at someone in the state of Ohio, it is against the law to shake a snake at someone.

It is against the law to ride a horse over 5 MPH in Ohio.

You are not legally entitled to “parade” your goose down Main Street in McDonald, Ohio.

If you are driving and pass another car, you are required by law to honk your horn.

Oklahoma

If there will be a group of three or more dogs on private property at any given time, it is legally required that a permit is obtained and signed by the mayor.

It is against the law for women to do their own hair unless they have a state issued license.

Pigs (no more than two) may be kept as domesticated pets in a home in Broken Arrow, Oklahoma, if the pigs are less than 32 inches long.

It is against the law to make “ugly faces” at dogs. Doing so could net the perpetrator a fine, prison time or both.

Premarital sex is against the law in the state of Oklahoma.

Wearing books to bed is against the law in Oklahoma.

Putting a farm animal’s hind legs in one’s boots is against the law.

It is against the law to promote or publicize a horse tripping event.

Giving or receiving oral sex is considered a misdemeanor and can be punished by a fine of up to $2,500 and/or a year in prison.

Residents of Oklahoma are required by law to pay taxes on furniture and other personal items.

Tattoos are against the law in Oklahoma.

It is against the law to allow a mule to drink out of a bird bath in Wynona, Oklahoma. It is also against the law to wash clothes in bird baths.

Oregon

Want to install a burglar alarm in Beaverton, Oregon? You’ll need a permit first which will set you back $10.

It is against the law to use canned corn as bait when fishing.

Dish doers are required by law to allow dishes to drip dry.

If you want to juggle in Hood River, Oregon, you’ll need a permit.

Don’t give a damn about your reputation? You might want to if you intend to sell malt beverages in Oregon where anyone with a bad reputation is prohibited from doing such things.

It is against the law for a man to curse or use profane language while having sex with his wife.

You are legally entitled to smoke weed in the privacy of your own home in Oregon. It just so happens that you’re not allowed to buy it or sell it. I suppose that means you have to grow it?

Wedding ceremonies are prohibited by law at skating rinks.

Ministers in Marion, Oregon are forbidden by law from eating either garlic or onions before a sermon.

Citizens of Myrtle Creek, Oregon are not legally entitled to box with kangaroos.

It is against the law for more than two people to share a single drink in the state of Oregon.

Wearing roller skates in a restroom is against the law.

It is against the law in the state of Oregon to pump your own gas at gas stations.

Pennsylvania

It is against the law to sing in the bathtub in the state of Pennsylvania.

Hiding dust or dirt under a rug in your home is against the law.

Having sexual relationships with a truck driver inside of a toll booth is against the law in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania.

If a person is lecturing students in the auditorium of a school, the person is prohibited by law from drinking a carbonated beverage in Hazelton, Pennsylvania.

Putting pretzels in bags is against the law.

It is against the law to sleep outside on top of a refrigerator.

If a bride or groom (or both) appear intoxicated, ministers are not legally entitled to marry them.

Women must obtain a permit before wearing cosmetics in Morrisville, Pennsylvania.

Before a man may purchase alcohol, he must first obtain written permission from his wife.

It is against the law to take a donkey onto a trolley car in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.

Rhode Island

It is against the law to smoke a pipe after sundown in Newport, Rhode Island.

It is against the law to keep a flock of chickens in your mobile home if you live in a trailer park in Scituate, Rhode Island.

South Carolina

If a man asks a woman to marry him and she is not already married, that marriage must take place is she agrees.

Telling fortunes is legal in South Carolina and you may charge for the practice but you must first obtain the proper permit.

It is illegal to keep a horse in a bathtub.

Using obscene language or sending obscene messages to a woman is against the law in South Carolina.

It is against the law to dance in public in Lancaster County, South Carolina.

Selling musical instruments on Sundays is prohibited by law.

Shining a flashlight on a turtle is against the law on Hilton Head Island, South Carolina.

South Dakota

Hotel rooms in Sioux Falls, South Dakota are required by law to have two twin beds at least two feet apart.

Horses are legally entitled to be inside the Fountain Inn but only if said horses are wearing pants.

Falling asleep in a cheese factory is prohibited by law.

If a movie shows a police officer being treated in a negative way (abused, punched, struck etc) that movie will be banned in South Dakota according to state law.

Tennessee

Any crimes against nature are forbidden by law in the state of Tennessee.

It is against the law to drive while sleeping which seems to me like it would just sort of be a given.

Talk about old fashioned! In Dyersburg, Tennessee women are prohibited by law from calling men to ask for a date.

It is against the law to sell hollow logs in the state of Tennessee.

Catching a fish with a lasso would be an incredibly impressive feat but it would also be breaking the law in Tennessee.

Eating roadkill is against the law in Tennessee.

All businesses in Knoxville, Tennessee must offer hitching posts for horses near or at the front of their building.

Can’t finish all your pie? Don’t think about taking the leftovers home if you’re in Memphis, Tennessee. Taking home leftover pie is against the law.

If more than eight women are living in one household in the state of Tennessee, the household is considered a brothel which would be illegal in the eyes of Tennessee state law.

Texas

It is against the law to walk barefoot unless you have the proper permit. This special permit will set you back $5.

It is against the law to carry wire cutters in your back pocket in Austin, Texas.

Dusting a public building in Clarendon, Texas with a feather duster is prohibited by law.

It is against the law to possess a realistic looking or feeling dildo in Dallas, Texas.

It is against the law to raise alligators in your home in Corpus Christie, Texas.

It is against the law for children to have “unusual” haircuts in Mesquite, Texas.

Milking another person’s cow is prohibited by law in the state of Texas.

Obnoxious odors are prohibited by law in an elevator. I think we all know what this one’s talking about.

If you own a horse and want to ride it at night, you better make sure you fit that horse with a tail light. Failure to do so will be considered breaking the law in Texarkana, Texas.

Utah

If a woman commits a crime while in the company of her husband, her husband could be held responsible for the crime according to the law in Utah.

A woman is not legally entitled to engage in sexual intercourse while riding in an ambulance.

On all highways in the state of Utah, birds have the right of way.

It is against the law for two people to dance so close that daylight is not visible between them in Monroe, Utah.

If a person reaches 50 years old and has not yet married, that person is legally entitled to marry a cousin.

All citizens of Utah are legally required to drink milk.

You may not enter any convenience store after dark in Kaysville, Utah unless you have identification.

Women are legally prohibited from swearing or using profane language in Logan, Utah.

Throwing a snowball in Provo, Utah could net you a $50 fine.

Vermont

Painting landscapes in times of war is against the law in the state of Vermont.

Women must have written permission from their husband if they have to (or want to) wear false teeth.

Denying the existence of God is forbidden by law in the state of Vermont.

Virginia

Trick-or-treating is prohibited by law in the state of Virginia.

When one motorist is passing another motorist the passer is required by law to honk the horn.

Premarital sex is forbidden by law in the state of Virginia.

Women are required by law to wear corsets when out in public after dark in Norfolk, Virginia. They must also be accompanied by male chaperons.

Flipping a coin to decide who will pay is against the law in any establishment that sells food in Richmond, Virginia.

Selling peanut brittle on Sundays is against the law.

Spitting on the sidewalk is against the law.

Tickling women is against the law.

It is against the law to spit on a seagull in Norfolk, Virginia.

Any man caught patting a woman’s rear end in Norfolk, Virginia may face up to 60 days in jail.

Any sexual position other than the missionary position is illegal in the state of Virginia. Makes sense as it’s also illegal to have sex with the lights on.

Using the telephone to swear at someone is not only illegal but is also punishable by a fine of up to $100.

Washington

Lollipops are against the law.

It is against the law to shuck peanuts (remove the shell) in Bremerton, Washington.

It is against the law to catch a fish by throwing a rock at it.

Establishments in Lynden, Washington may allow either drinking or dancing but both activities are prohibited from taking place in the same establishment.

Any woman sitting on the lap of a man on a bus or train must place a pillow between the man’s lap and her rear end or the woman could face a prison sentence of up to six months.

It is technically legal to set someone else’s property or possessions on fire but only if you have that person’s permission first.

If you want to sell condoms in Washington state you will first need to obtain the proper license to do so.

West Virginia

Red and black flags are prohibited by law.

Even if you should use a leash, it is against the law to walk a lion, tiger or leopard in Alderson, West Virginia.

It is against the law for a fireman to whistle or verbally flirt with any woman walking by a firehouse in Huntington, West Virginia.

According to a technicality in the way the law is written, a man can legally beat his wife if he chooses to beat her on the courthouse steps on a Sunday in Huntington, West Virginia.

It is against the law to wear any hat inside a theater and can be punished by fine.

Members of the clergy are prohibited by law from telling jokes or relating humorous stories from the pulpit during church services in Nicholas County, West Virginia.

This one is a big disturbing. It is against the law for a man to have sexual relationships with any animal greater than 40 pounds.

If there is a possibility that a woman may at some point walk down a given street, it is illegal to spit on that street.

Whistling under water is against the law in the state of West Virginia.

Wisconsin

It is against the law to serve butter substitutes in all state prisons in Wisconsin.

Anyone wishing to make cheese in Wisconsin must first obtain a cheese maker’s license. A master cheese maker’s license is required if one wishes to make Limburger Cheese.

Women are prohibited by law from wearing red in public in St. Croix, Wisconsin.

Displaying a naked mannequin in a shop window is against the law.

Wyoming

It is illegal for a couple to have sex in a walk-in meat freezer in Newcastle, Wyoming.

Tattooing a horse so that is may not be recognizable to its owner is against the law.

It is against the law that prevents people behind you from seeing the screen in a movie theater or similar place of amusement. This one needs to be put in place everywhere.

It is against the law to photograph a rabbit throughout the month of June.

I hope you’ve enjoyed these dumb laws. I’ve done my best to verify them where possible. Know of a dumb law that didn’t make the list? Share it in the comments section below!