Why I support Pete Buttigieg for President of the United States

A story of self.

Growing up, there were three little boys in my grade that were a lot smaller than everyone else, and another boy was a lot bigger and kind of quirky. All of them were relentlessly teased. One was from Cambodia, one from the Philippines, one from Turkey, and one was a biracial boy.

All of them looked different than me, but none of us kids thought in terms of race. It was all about their sizes, and it’s clear reflecting as an adult, they had a tough go of it in elementary school. But they had a friend in someone I know well.

I vividly recall my Dad looking out for them on field trips and other parental activities. He had no real reason to pump them up or befriend them; he was just being a good person and helping some kids who needed a little support. He was brilliant at it, making them feel special/cool, boosting their confidence. I dont remember explicit conversations we had about those boys, or him teaching me how to treat others, but nevertheless, the impact of his kindness was life long for me, and those boys, as I’d later find out.

This is when I first learned the value of treating others with decency, kindness, and respect, no matter who they are, what they look like, or even how they treat you. My mom is similarly accepting.

Living on the same street as a bunch of other little girls who all attended a different school, my sister and I worked hard at curating friendships, but we werent always consistently part of the gang.

My mom hammered home the golden rule: treat others how you want to be treated. She never excluded or turned any little girl away, and everyone was welcome to play at our house. While we didnt understand it at the time, she was quietly educating us on how to be inclusive.

These two shining memories inform my compassion for the downtrodden, those who are a little different, those who need a little extra human support, & those who dont look like me or live like me. It was something I witnessed in action while growing up on a daily basis, and I cannot turn it off. It defines me.

We lost my Dad 6 years ago very suddenly. This utterly wrecked me, but I survived because my Mom showed me every day what strength and grace looked like. It wasn’t just the loss of my dad we were coping with.

I witnessed my mom lose her brother and her spouse in the span of 3 weeks, as my uncle had passed away right before my dad. Needless to say, it shell shocked our family. Anyone who knows grief, can understand why two blows in one month would be simply unmooring and breathtaking.

If you want to see what grace, poise, strength, durability, grit, and raw human perfection looks like, you’d refer to my mother after she suffered those blows. Watching her go through it, while she selflessly tended to my and my sister’s very wounded souls, kept me intact.

Strength in spite of trauma, grace in spite of chaos, selflessness in spite of misery, I’ve never been more proud of another person on planet Earth. Remember those words. This is when I learned how to weather storms and not become a cynic. This is when I learned not to victimize myself, and to care for others even when I’m hurting too. Again, it defines the very essence of who I am. I cannot turn it off, it is part of me.

One of those little boys reached out to me as a grown man when my Dad died. He shared with me how important the small role my Dad had played in his childhood, and how Dad’s small act of kindness sustained him in the lonely days when he was small. I’ve never been more proud to be my Dad’s daughter than in that moment.

Many of you know that I’m passionate and political. I am sorry if I have put you off in any way. It isn’t ever my intent, but if you could indulge my explanation, it may help at least provide context for my beliefs and frame anything I’ve shared over the years. Maybe this writing already has.

When I reflect on our government, I do not see my values reflected at all, anywhere I look. I see nothing familiar or representative of me and the values that define me. It’s not to say others can’t find good, but for me and who I am, it has been very hard. I respect the differences between us all, and I acknowledge everyone has different values-shaping experiences in life. I’m just emphasizing that for me, the last three years have felt wholly alienating and a little scary.

I was upset and felt powerless for years, that is, until I found Pete Buttigieg. The instant I saw him, I saw someone who held my values, and it felt like home. He embodies just about all of the lessons that my parents instilled in me as a young girl. He is currently running for President while weathering the storm of grief, having just lost his Dad 10 months ago.

Strength in spite of trauma.

He comes with a history of challenges, growing up gay in the midwest, hating himself and wanting desperately to be anyone else. He’s also a veteran, volunteering to serve our nation and go to war for all of us, despite not fully even loving himself at the time.

Selflessness in spite of misery.

And while on the campaign trail, he has endured the crassest, most vulgar bigotry, listening to people chant and wish him sent to hell simply because of who he loves. He never stoops. He always absorbs their taunts, and acknowledges their right to say these vile words.

Grace in spite of chaos.

I find his desire to unify our great country the key reason for my support. From my vantage point, everyone else seems to be in the business of defining the opposition, whether it be Democratic primary opponents now, or Donald Trump in 2020. Drawing lines in the sand and setting up camp, many are seemingly okay with polarized America. If you don’t fit exactly in their box, you are unwelcome or to be shamed.

We forget we are all one country, but Pete hasn’t. While in Afghanistan, he served with all kinds of different Americans and put his life in their hands. No matter what they looked like, or who they were, if they wore the US flag on their shoulder, they were brothers/sisters to be relied upon. No matter which party they supported, where they were raised, or how they talked, he held their lives in his hands and fiercly protected them as brothers/sisters do.

That is the America I want to live in. These are the values to which I am drawn, and that is why I fervently support Pete Buttigieg for President. He recently said, “You cannot claim to love your country if you hate half the people in it.” This is true for every single person in America. While we may not all agree on everything, and in fact vehemently disagree on a lot, the one thing we should agree on is our patriotism to the United States of America.

His ability to empathize with others can heal us and bridge the divides. Nobody else is seeking to represent the totality of the nation, they are only seeking to represent their corner, leaving everyone else flailing in the wind. I often feel as alienated by some of the Democratic candidates, as I do by Donald Trump. If I don’t co-sign each and every policy proposed in the Democratic primary, I am lambasted by fellow Americans for not being an authentic-enough Democrat. Similarly, if I don’t co-sign how the current administration conducts itself, which I absolutely do not, I am lambasted by fellow Americans as not being patriotic or displaying the required support of our President.This tactic of ideological purity does not even pretend to try and heal our wounds or bridge divides. It leaves no room for differing opinions in what is supposed to be the land of the free.

Pete’s positions center on our common values, like freedom, security, and democracy. These are all phrases rooted in American culture that every single American can and should support without flinching. Finding common ground isn’t compromising your values, it’s sharing them. Meeting people halfway isn’t giving up on your beliefs, it’s inclusivity and progress. Landing in the middle isn’t selling out, it’s brave and novel in the era of hyper-polarization.

He is decent to others, even those who are indecent to him. He is respectful, kind, and thoughtful, even when others are rude, unkind, and spread misinformation about him. I appreciate that he doesn’t allude his past is filled with perfection, owning his mistakes without hesitation. It humanizes him and makes him relatable. Nobody is perfect.

In closing, I vote and promote based on common morals and values, so I thank you for considering and reading my story. I wanted to share with the world who I am, why I am me, and why it leads to my sincere belief that Pete Buttigieg should be the next President of the United States. We are all different, but I think finding the common thread that weaves us together is the key to belonging in this nation. For me, Pete is the one seeking to weave that thread once more.