We’ve gotten to the point in the Brett Kavanaugh nomination story where the crotchety old Republican man running the Senate Judiciary Committee—still buzzed from Sen. Lindsey Graham’s testosterone-laden “White Men Unite!” diatribe last week—is just releasing any statements he can get his hot, sweaty little hands on to prove … well, that he’s a bit too much of an anachronistic, GOP Kool-Aid binge drinker to even pretend to know what’s relevant anymore. And if I sound a bit testy, it’s true. Having to blog about the completely unvetted trash that’s being spewed by the chairman of the Senate Judiciary Committee (the Chair of the Judiciary Committee, for god’s sake!) would make any sane individual living in this world rather than GOP fantasyland cranky.

In any case, Sen. Chuck Grassley of Iowa took it upon himself to release the sworn statement of a one-time TV weatherman who reportedly dated Kavanaugh’s third accuser, Julie Swetnick, in 1993 for two weeks (two full weeks!) and, after searching his soul, decided the right thing to do was to come forward and share what he knows of her sex life, even though they never personally had sex. Get that? Two weeks + No sex = Swetnick sexpert. Swear to goddess, I’m not overplaying this.

Dennis Ketterer, who also claimed to have been a Democrat at one point (though his Facebook feed reads more right-wing nut job than anything), said Swetnick once told him she enjoyed having group sex with multiple guys—a revelation that “derailed” their two weeks of bliss. Oh man, Grassley’s really got us on the ropes now. You follow? Right-wing weather guy claims Kavanaugh accuser said she’s into group sex. Check! Aaaannnnd, here’s the kicker from the Washington Post:

Ketterer said Swetnick “never said anything about being sexually assaulted, raped, gang-raped or having sex against her will” and “never mentioned Brett Kavanaugh in any capacity.” He described their relationship as lasting for a “couple of weeks.”

CheckMATE, dude! They dated two-full-fucking-weeks and not once (NOT ONCE!) did she mention being gang raped or even name-check Brett Kavanaugh. EVER!

Honest to god, the GOP Senate Judiciary Committee thought this was worth posting to their website, so they did post it (and no, I’m not linking). They withheld 90 percent of the documents related to Kavanaugh’s days working in the George W. Bush White House, they tried to shield a large swath of the other 10 percent from public view. But weather guy? Yeah, he made the Senate Judiciary site.