Man of the season

Martin Glenn – hiring Lingerie League promoter @fizzer18 as England Women’s manager in January, and comparing the Star of David to the swastika in March. His FA focus for next season: to keep on “uniting the game – and making English football better for all”.

Also uniting the game

Gordon Taylor – taking his 10-year PFA income to £16.2m in February. Among his best work in 2017: calling out “disrespectful” FA suits for losing touch with reality. “There’s a perception that they’re disconnected dinosaurs.”

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And in Zurich

Season two of Gianni Infantino’s Fifa 2.0 – “Football is a game that you play with your feet, but most importantly with your heart.”

His 2017-18 highlights:

a) Pledging to “prioritise human rights” in January, then naming Chechnya as a World Cup base in February; b) Promising “a new era of transparency”, then offering two events to unnamed investors for $25bn; and c) Pushing his social change agenda: addressing an invited audience in Tehran in March after attending the men-only Tehran derby where 35 women were arrested. Infantino told delegates he was “happy” with Iran’s progress on sexist attitudes: “There are now 23,000 women football players in Iran. We have some representatives of them here with us today – and they look fantastic.”

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Infantino in Tehran: good progress. Photograph: AFP/Getty Images

• Meanwhile: still not buying the Fifa 2.0 rebrand – Philip Chiyangwa, Zimbabwe FA head, Fifa power-broker and millionaire YouTuber, launching his own fashion label in August with an open video call to God. “This morning, God, I ask only for abundancy. The power to make money, more of it. Money, more money, God, make it come my way. Thank you very much. Good morning to you everybody. Good morning to you God.”

Elsewhere: most consistent

Russia 2018 head Alexei Sorokin – asked in January for his view on Spartak Moscow tweeting a photo of black players training in hot weather captioned “see how the chocolates melt in the sun”: “It was clumsy. But there was no racist intent.”

Best crisis management

Lazio – reacting to their fans mocking the Holocaust in October. President Claudio Lotito told live TV about his bridge-building visit to a Jewish “mosque”; PR head Arturo Diaconale attacked “grotesque media bias” against Lazio fans. “It’s a wave of politically correct McCarthyism.”

Saddest lament

Carlo Tavecchio – forced out as Italy’s FA president in November. Tavecchio blamed “a media witch-hunt” for ignoring the positives and focusing instead on his four financial crime convictions, his racism ban and his leaked comments about “lousy Jews” and “keeping gays away”: “240 people work for me. Today, 240 people are in tears.”

Kindest act

Owen Oyston – going above and beyond to save Blackpool from administration in March. Oyston’s spokesman said his client – found to have “illegitimately stripped” the club of £26.77m last year with son Karl – had “offered to put his personal monies in to Blackpool Football Club’s accounts to avoid a shortfall in cash. He loves the club, and he always will.”

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Manager of the year

Sam Allardyce – reflecting on the state of his trade last week after picking up a £6m pay-off plus £3m basic for 24 Everton games, a £1m pay-off for 67 days of his £6m England contract and a £2m bonus for 21 games of his £2.5m Palace deal: “Money has just brought more instability than ever before – and it’s managers who suffer the most.”

• Also suffering in 2017-18:

1) Port Vale chairman Tony Fradley, 4 Sep, on fan pressure to sack Michael Brown. “If you listen to Alan Shearer on Match of the Day he says you shouldn’t be thinking of anything like that for 10 games. It’s not crossed my mind.” 17 Sep: Sacks him after eight.

2) Portugal, 14 Jan: Belenenses president Rui Pedro Soares, tired of questions about coach Domingos Paciência. “Listen, Domingos is the coach of Belenenses. Will he still be in five, 10 years? I don’t know. In 20 years? No. But today Domingos is coach of Belenenses, and tomorrow, Domingos is coach of Belenenses.” The next day: Domingos isn’t coach of Belenenses.

3) Germany, 27 Nov: Borussia Dortmund CEO Hans-Joachim Watzke, telling fans to lay off coach Peter Bosz: “I feel just as shitty as you all do about this. But there is no magic solution.” 10 Dec: Finds one.

And 4) Brazil: Serie B Paraná coach “Crazy” Lisca – sacked in September for fighting his assistant a week after he implored local press to “stop calling me crazy, show some respect. Don’t call me crazy again.” Club statement: “Lisca has gone. It was a day of fury.”

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Most presidential

Switzerland: Sion president Christian Constantin – banned in October for beating a pitchside TV pundit who called him “a narcissist with zero empathy”. Constantin said he was ready to reach a settlement – “We are 60-year-old men, let’s solve it, move on” – but “someone will have to make the first move, and that someone is him. He started it.”

• Also sending a message: Romania’s Brasov owner Ioan Neculaie: jailed in November after he reacted to a flat tyre on his car by reportedly “taking out a gun and shooting the other tyres flat, too”. The court heard Neculaie, who had a suspended manslaughter sentence, was “making a point to his chauffeur”.

Acting awards: best dramatists

a) Belgium: Standard Liège coach Ricardo Sá Pinto, banned for a “vaudeville display” in November after a plastic beer cup landed near his foot. Sá Pinto denied he “overplayed” it by collapsing, calling for medics then abusing the referee. “My shoes and trousers were wet.”

And b) Uruguay: Defensor Sporting’s assistant Alejandro Acevedo, unhappy to go viral in December after being filmed pretending to be head-butted by a fourth official. “I only collapsed because I felt my glasses slip. I don’t care for social networks, or the things that they say.”

Alejandro Etcheverry (@UruAlejandro) Y el premio para la mejor obra de teatro futbolera del año es para.... Alejandro Acevedo. pic.twitter.com/GRF6q01RhM

Best agent

Spain: Catió Baldé, reacting in February to client Rúben Semedo’s third arrest in four months. Baldé said the Villarreal defender, who denies robbery, kidnap, possession of illegal weapons and attempted murder, is “a good boy led astray … He’s the victim here.”

Best direct action

Ecuador: Independiente del Valle U20 defender Angelo Preciado, banned for “using a corner flag as a spear” in February. Coach Juan Carlos León said the spear was out of character. “He’s really been maturing.”

Industria Argentina (@industriarg) ¡ LOCURA !

En el partido Independiente del Valle vs River (U), por la Copa Libertadores SUB 20, el jugador Preciado sacó el... Bueno, veanlo ustedes mismos porque es realmente increible pic.twitter.com/84V071Th5r

Most poised

Romania: Kayserispor coach Marius Sumudica – leaning on a wire fence during training in January, falling through it, then trying to style it out. “I knew there were cameras, so I folded my arms and stayed in the ditch. Now I’m on antibiotics.”

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Most self-assured

Brazil: Santos president José Carlos Peres – denying being too abstract with his analogy in March for why he’s cutting back on club staff. “Santos can no longer be a teat, a teat with 420 sucklings sucking out its milk. There’s not enough milk, people. This is an excellent analogy.”

Happiest ending

Argentina: San Lorenzo groundsman Julio Duarte, hiring a sausage dog in September after it invaded their game against Arsenal di Sarandi then chewed microphones post-match. Duarte said he’d add the dog to 10 others he uses for chasing pigeons off his grass seed. “I’m keeping her. We really need what she’s got.”

TyC Sports (@TyCSports) San Lorenzo encontró el camino al gol gracias al aporte clave de él. Como a todo protagonista, le acercamos el micrófono de @PasoAPaso 🐶😂 pic.twitter.com/czWrjknUxe

And best attitude

Romania: Liga IV Venus Bucharest’s keeper Emil Constantinescu – reflecting on their 26-1 defeat to Academia Rapid in November. “If they didn’t score the first 10 goals, I think we could have won it. But we take some positives. We get our heads up, and we go again.”