Cialis, Viagra, Levitra, Enzyte. I hate all of those names.

Like any American who watches television more than once a year, I’ve been bombarded by ads for erectile dysfunction. There’s the guy who can’t stop smiling, the father who symbolically tosses a football through a tire, and the old couple who seem to carry two full bathtubs with them wherever they go. I’m pretty sure I memorized the Cialis disclaimer before I knew my social security number.

If it lasts longer than four hours, please consult medical help. Trust me, I will.

But this is a lot of pressure, is it not? Men are the ones who need to take drugs to make things better. But it’s not like women don’t have any problems either. Why do men have to be the only ones who need a little outside help in the bedroom? Well, it’s not for a lack of trying.

Rachel Braun Scherl is the founder of Semprae Laboratories, the developer of Zestra Arousal Oils, a “botanical aphrodisiac”—a kind of topical Viagra that heightens the body’s sensitivity to touch. After seeing research suggesting that tens of millions of women needed sexual help, Scherl and her cofounder, Mary Jaensch, figured selling advertising would be simple.

However, getting prime ad space has been anything but. A few channels show ads during the day, some others after midnight, but many companies have just flat-out denied Zestra. There’s no nudity, sex, or mention of body parts in the ads.

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Scherl said:

The most frequent answer we get is “We don’t advertise your category.” To which we say, “What is the category? Because if it’s sexual enjoyment, you clearly cover that category. If it’s female enjoyment, you clearly don’t.” And when you ask for information as to what we would need to change so they would clear the ad for broadcast, they give you very little direction. … And yet they have no problem showing ads for Viagra and other men’s drugs. Why?

The ads feature women aged 40 to 50, talking about how sex has changed since marriage, how it feels different, and how their bodies have started to react differently since they’ve had children.

ABC’s Nightline featured the product, but the channel would only show a Zestra ad after midnight, during Jimmy Kimmel. Oxygen runs ads between midnight and 4 a.m. Facebook initially ran ads, but quickly took them down. WebMD.com declined to run the Zestra ads.

These companies are turning down money to run ads that are, presumably, no worse than anything Viagra or Cialis have put out. What gives?

It’s because female sexuality is threatening, according to Laura Grindstaff, a sociology professor at the University of California, Santa Barbara:

An ad like Zestra’s, with no men in it, about women’s pleasure for the sake of pleasure, is threatening, I guess. What other explanation could there be?

But it really shouldn’t be. As men, we should be all for these ads. A more aroused partner? That is something you want, guys.

In 2010, we ought to publicly acknowledge what most of us already know in our private lives: women are our sexual equals, and their pleasure is our pleasure.

This product deserves exposure. These ads should be on TV. And if Zestra helps out your sex life, that’s not a bad bonus.

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