



"Years before being engaged, I always told myself I would want a small, simple wedding to celebrate the union love creates. I told myself I wouldn’t want one of those extravagant weddings where you are left in a hole of debt.





However, when I was finally in the moment of planning that “small, simple” wedding, I found myself caught up in a whirlwind of planning, booking, crafting and creating. Before I knew it, I was constantly busy with a never-ending “to-do” list, stressed about being over budget and the guest list seemed to keep growing.





Those were my months leading up to this moment. I am supposed to be in the final count down to my wedding date, June 27, 2020. With what the world is currently going through, although still a few months away, all my efforts may be cancelled.





When this realization kicked in, I was in an anxiety-filled tizzy. My days were consumed with “what ifs”, “how can this be” and “what do I do?”. I found myself exhausted and down. The stress started to take a toll on me so I started to practice some deep breathing and was forced to stay within the moment, taking each hour by hour. This brought me back to a place of stillness, and reflection.





I reflected on the heartbreaking stories I have been hearing on the news and social media about people living in constant fear as their loved ones work tirelessly on the front lines of this pandemic. These heroes doing all they can to save lives while their family is praying for their safe return home. People losing family and friends to this virus. Yet through all this chaos, I find myself safe at home, spending my days being with my partner. I found a renewed sense of gratitude. I am thankful for our health, our home, our safety and the deep love and bond we share.





This appreciation has ultimately brought me back to what I had thought about years before our engagement. In the end, I just simply want a special moment where we vow to be each others person for life, to share in the hardships and the joyful moments. To share a last name as a family.





Whatever becomes of our wedding day, in the end we still have each other and one day I will surely claim his last name as my own.





I was forced to an abrupt stop, but I am thankful for what it has put into perspective for me."





Story courtesy Jacky Gyiviscan , Photo by DGranner Photo



