Yes, I really will crochet anything. Before the Internet starts yelling at me for being insensitive, let me give a bit of background.

I’ve had a phobia of germs since I was a kid. Remember the swine flu epidemic about 10 years ago? Yeah, I was a nervous wreck. With everything going on lately, it has not been a great couple months for someone with severe anxiety. The scary thing about COVID-19 is that it’s invisible, so it isn’t something you can fight. It just lurks until it gets you. I thought it could be a good exposure therapy exercise to make a crochet version of it.

Nothing is scary when you put a silly face on it, and that was my goal here. I had feedback on my Solar Eclipse amigurumi pattern that someone used the toy to explain the solar eclipse to their kid, who was afraid of it. But when the kid saw how it worked and understood the science behind it, he wasn’t so scared. I thought this pattern might be useful to some of my fellow germaphobes because it makes the scary thing visible, so you can mentally confront it.

Or maybe you just want to make it so you can chuck it at your friends and tell them they “caught” the coronavirus. Up to you.

This is the image I based my design on. I chose gray for the base and red for the spiky bits, which are the “corona” that the virus is named after. Did you know that the common cold is a coronavirus? So technically, it’s inaccurate to say that this is a coronavirus pandemic, because that’s been the case for years. The virus is called SARS-COVID-19, and the disease it causes is COVID-19.

Materials

Worsted-weight yarn in two colors: base and the spiky bits

2 plastic safety eyes (mine were about 12 mm)

G (4.00 MM) crochet hook

Yarn needle

Small bit of polyfill stuffing. Or fill it with beans so you can chuck it at people.

Small bit of black yarn to embroider face

Notes

I use US crochet terms in all of my patterns

This pattern is worked in one piece for the base, leaving spare loops to attach the red spiky bits. When the base is complete, you go back and crochet onto the loops.

This pattern is worked in a spiral without joining, amigurumi-style. So use a stitch marker to mark the first stitch of each round.

2-double-crochet cluster: *Yarn over, insert hook into stitch, yarn over pull up a loop. Yarn over, pull through 2 loops.* Repeat from * to * one more time, which should leave you with 3 loops on your hook. Yarn over, pull through all 3 loops.

Pattern

Base

Round 1: Make a magic ring, ch 1, 6 sc in ring

Round 2: in back loops only, 2 sc in each sc around

Round 3: in both loops, (sc in next sc, 2 sc in next sc) around

Round 4: in back loops only, (sc in next 2 sc, 2 sc in next sc) around

Round 5: in both loops, (sc in next 3 sc, 2 sc in next sc) around

Round 6: in back loops only, (sc in next 4 sc, 2 sc in next sc) around: 36 sc

Round 7: in both loops, sc 10, in back loops, sc 26

Round 8: in both loops, sc 36

Round 9-12: Repeat Rounds 7 and 8 two more times.

Round 13: in both loops, (sc in next 4 sc, sc2tog) around

Round 14: in back loops, (sc in next 3 sc, sc2tog) around

Round 15: in both loops, (sc in next 2 sc, sc2tog) around

Work on face: attach safety eyes and embroider eyebrows and mouth.

Round 16: in back loops, (sc in next sc, sc2tog) around

Stuff.

Round 17: in both loops, sc2tog around.

Fasten off. Through back loops, sew the small circle together. That leaves you with 6 loops to work into.

Corona

Special Stitch: I’m going to call this “Corona Stem.” Ch 4, make a 2-double-crochet cluster in 2nd ch from hook. Sl st in same ch, sl st in next 2 ch.

Start in the leftover loops of Round 17. *Make a Corona Stem, then sl st into the next 2 free loops.* Repeat this twice more.

For the rest of the spare loops, you’re going to *make a Corona Stem, then sl st into the next 3 stitches*, all the way around and around. When you get to the middle section, which leaves a non-adorned part for the face, you’ll be working back and forth in rows. Then when you get back to the top, just start working around and around again.

When you get to the very top, with the 6 loops left over from Round 1, *Make a Corona Stem, then sl st into the next 2 free loops.* Repeat this twice more.

Fasten off and weave in ends.

Stay healthy, you guys. There’s nothing cute about the real coronavirus, and I don’t mean to make light of it. When things scare me, I crochet. Wash your hands, don’t go to the store unless you can help it, and try not to worry too much. Easier said than done, trust me, I know. But we’re going to make it through this together.