Let’s talk for a moment about ancient bad-ass Hypatia of Alexandria. As a great scholar of philosophy, astronomy, and mathematics, Hypatia was the Neil deGrasse Tyson of the 5th century (or is Neil deGrasse Tyson the Hypatia of the 21st century?). Young male students fought to attend her lectures not only because her of her beautiful mind, but also because she was easy on the eyes. In fact, one student developed a passionate infatuation with her and, to her annoyance, attempted to court her.

Here’s how it went down, according to legend (with a little interpretive help from yours truly):

Student: Damn, teacher lady! You are soooo fine! Let’s play satyrs and nymphs!

Hypatia: Thanks, but I’ll pass.

Student: Oh, come on. I saw you gaze seductively into my eyes during your lecture on the constellations. Our coupling is written in the stars.

Hypatia: Dude. It’s a public speaking technique. I made eye contact with each student in the amphitheatre. I’m just not that into you.

Student: But I need to see what’s under that toga!

Hypatia: Ok, fine. You want to see what’s under here? Here you go.

Student: What are these? And why are they red? Ermergerds. Are these–?

Hypatia: Yep. Them’s muh period rags. Still want to get up on this?

Student: Um. Ew. Nope. I’ll pass.

Hypatia: That’s what I thought. I’ll go back to being celibate now.

Aaand “scene.”

Let’s just hope that our 21st century Hypatia—er, Neil deGrasse Tyson—doesn’t meet the same end as his 5th century counterpart:

In 415 CE, as tensions between the Roman, Christian, and Jewish residents of Alexandria peaked, an elderly Hypatia found herself seized by an angry mob of Christian fanatics. They accused her of using witchcraft and counseling Orestes, Roman governor of Alexandria, to cut ties with Cyril, Bishop of Alexandria and impose strict limits on Christian and Jewish participation in public ceremonies (none of these accusations were substantiated). The mob dragged her to a church, stripped her naked, and according to 5th century historian Socrates Scholasticus, used pot-shards to flay her alive.