Here’s a quote that made me think this morning:

“When I was in a dark period, I instituted a simple rule that changed my life.

Rule: When I arrive home from work, the very first thing I tell my wife is the best thing that happened that day.

No exceptions. No complaining. Just the best thing that day, even if it was just a good cup of coffee. This had the effect of starting our evening off on a positive note and it changed our relationship.”

- Brad Einarsen

Often, the first thing that I do when I see someone at the end of the day is unload all of the bullshit. Post work, the stress levels are high.

You’ve had to keep your cool for eight hours.

Now, it’s time to let go of every emotion that’s stacked itself up.

Does venting help?

Sure, in doses.

Venting relieves stress and releases tension. But framing your day through a positive lens may deflate the stress before the venting begins. Maybe that problem you felt the need to vent away isn’t such a problem.

Take the “cup of coffee” example from Brad.

When is the last time you truly appreciated a delicious cup of coffee? I drink a mug of hot, black coffee every morning. Maybe twice a month, I stop to think about how lucky I am to be enjoying this cup aromatic bean juice.

Pretend these four things happened to you today:

You got into a fender bender that was the other driver’s fault

The deal you wanted to close at work fell through

The dry cleaners couldn’t get the stain out of your gray chinos

You had a delicious cup of coffee

Three of these things represent problems of varying degrees. The last event, drinking coffee, is a simple, often underappreciated act.

Now, take this first scenario. You walk into the door and right off the bat you unload the negativity onto your wife:

“This motherfucker hit me from behind while I was dead stopped at a red light. Then, he didn’t even have insurance, and I was on the phone for almost an hour and a half trying to clear this mess up. Because of the accident, I got to the meeting late, the client felt disrespected, I was still fuming from the insurance call, and I blew the deal. Ho-leeee Fuck. I fucking hate dry cleaning.”