Smithers: You could go to jail, and a handsome man like you, I’d hate to think what would happen. Mr Burns: I wouldn’t go to jail, the legal owner of this plant would. Canary M Burns. This entire plant is in his name. So when they come to put CM Burns in jail, it’s the canary that does the time. Smithers: Sir, can you do that? Mr Burns: Oh yes, tycoons have been doing it for years. Why, Standard Oil was once owned by a half-eaten breakfast.

In a week of endless, yet pointless, statements from those running soccer in Ireland, this was the one that caused the immediate passing of the puke bucket. Signed by the lead provincial administrators from all four quarters, as well as the secretary of the junior council, on Thursday it came out in support of John Delaney in the most brazen and brutal fashion.

“In his time as CEO, he has visited almost 2,000 grassroots clubs all over the country from Wexford to Donegal and Kerry to Louth, assisting many clubs with the development of their facilities. He has turned the sod on many new grounds and performed opening ceremonies at several new clubhouses and has always recognised the work performed by volunteers at club level all over the country. Under John’s leadership, the FAI facilities department assisted many clubs with sports capital grant applications as well as advising clubs technically on clubhouses, artificial pitches and floodlighting. Whenever possible he attended club and league presentation nights, anniversary dinners and dedicated a lot…”

It went on but we can take no more of such sad, arse-kissing drivel. Broken down it basically tried to sweep the dirt under the carpet because a well-paid man did elements of his job. And remember, this is a guy that, after pay cuts, was on more than eight times the average salary of nurse-related jobs, while a decent skin on the median wage would take nearly a dozen years to bring in his salary. He’s paid more based on responsibly, so where’s the accountability?

It’s time for a pair to drop.

That such small-minded, parish-pump, shameless gombeenism – in this case, courtesy of Peter Doyle, Gerry Tully, Ger Delaney, Herbie Barr and Denis Cruise in case you wondered – isn’t even surprising, rather it’s indicative of the problem with the uncomfortable bedfellows of authority and answerability in this country. If they say cockroaches would survive a nuclear holocaust, then just to make sure they could crawl to our little island to see it out.

Last week, talking to a source in the FAI, they warned not to use their work email address as they suspected any and all accounts in the building were being watched. Yet what those upstairs saw as leaks were actually the truth emerging to taxpayers who fund the association to the tune of nearly €3m a year.

Besides, the entire episode was only taking place because many of the association’s own hierarchy had failed to do their jobs in one of two crucial ways; they either were complicit in the acts and actions of John Delaney, or on the finance committee they failed to so much as notice his dips and dealings into their accounts.

Here’s what we do know. John Delaney as CEO in 2017 says he put €100,000 of his own money into the FAI due to cash-flow issues when this is what bank overdrafts are for. If this is the case though, such an act of kindness and goodwill didn’t so much as make it into the minutes of a meeting or annual report, when this is a man so fond of self-publicity that we even know from a documentary about him that his generosity saw him once give his shoes to a member of the travelling community who had called to the family door looking for help.

From a believability standpoint, there might be issues for some, but from an accounting standpoint, there are wrongs for all to see. For instance, last week I reported that you don’t invoice, as John Delaney did, for a loan thus those in bookkeeping will tell you that having loaned €100,000, the issue of a subsequent remittance by the association actually meant he’d be owed €200,000 as these are separate bills.

On top of that, the €3,000 rent John Delaney was receiving may have been morally odious but, more importantly, it should now raise issues as it needs to be taxed at source, rather than be paid later on via Delaney’s own tax returns.

And then there’s the matter of the related party note. Governed by three different sets of guidance via the Companies Act, auditing standards, and accounting standards, it is viewed as a note that provides important information to the users of accounts and provides protection against actions taken by the likes of Lehman Brothers where a lot of transactions were taking place between connected parties that no one knew about.

It was therefore brought in to give transparency around transactions with related parties, with these parties defined as a company or subsidiary of a company controlled directly or indirectly by a director of another company, but also relates to the relatives of those that control a company. The note was introduced into the FAI’s own accounts in 2015, and since it has only given the following information: The total remuneration for Key Management Personnel for the period totalled €430,000. (Prior Year €430,000).

“Small businesses would have to provide far more detailed notes which makes this hard to understand,” says one accountancy expert who has studied their accounts. “That’s not to say they did anything wrong but what this does say is during the year the remuneration and payments to all directors or board members was €430,000. Keep in mind the accounts state directors emoluments were €360,000 and officers emoluments were €70,000. What the difference is, I don’t know, but it is known that the salary of the CEO is €360,000.

“Therefore the other 10 members of the board of management and other 58 members of the national council received €70,000 in total payment or €1,029 per person in 2017. However, think about the amount of work and travel these individuals would do on behalf of the FAI. Also given such numbers it is worth considering that those 69 people would have a level of control and for me, it’s interesting that none of them have relatives or related companies that are supplying flags or nets or coaching or some form of service to the FAI.”

A lack of transparency rather than proof of wrong, this is one more area to focus on.

In terms of the accounts, it is worth remembering that when transactions happen mid-year like John Delaney’s bridging loan, they generally get washed off the balance sheet by the end of the year. Therefore the auditors would be reporting on a specific date. For sure they make inquiries about transactions but if not given answers, they cannot report on that. So if the loan and his invoice had disappeared off the accounts before the December 2017 audit, no one would be any the wiser. It reminds us that this whistleblower is well placed, knowing where bodies are buried. However, there is another element to this area to keep in mind.

No one is suggesting this is actually what happened around the FAI, but it is an offence to make false representations to the auditor on foot of serious questions. Therefore if Deloitte says that they asked if there were any relatable transactions, were told ‘No, that the only relatable party transactions involved John Delaney’, and that’s why their reporting under that heading was so short, then this had better be the case.

Otherwise, this is where the Companies Act comes into play and any breach is indictable and would lead to trial by jury before the Circuit Court. Again, that’s just a matter of fact rather than accusation.

There’s a lot to delve into, but will we go after it or is it a chance to have a quick pop?

For sure some of the issue around John Delaney is a fear of him, for too many look at who he is rather than what he’s done. In that sense, he’s issued more injunctions over the years than a far-right politician photographed leaving a Berlin rubber club at four in the morning. For a long time now he’s tried desperately to control the narrative through force. That finishes here.

When this latest news broke there was the attempt at an injunction against the Sunday Times. Previously, unhappy at a Sunday newspaper’s reporting of him, he had a meeting with the editor and there was a hint they should remove their football correspondent. There’s a disdain for media and it’s why, at the AGM, journalists are hoarded into a holding pen where the basic idea of asking questions is denied.

Even abroad the FAI under John Delaney has tried to ban free and decent speech, as in Denmark last year a photo of a flag calling him the problem child had been printed out on an A4 sheet of paper and given to local security, being confiscated on entry.

It’s a remarkable degree of paranoia but when it comes to transparency, only those with something to hide do hide.

Yet we allow it.

How we act around power is a societal anomaly. In Ireland, so often we are in awe of the celebrity we place around the haves, and when that position is used for questionable purposes there’s a slap on the back to be had. Maybe it goes back to British rule and the idea of getting one over the system being a good thing, as they were the system. But it’s time to move on from that as we are only hurting ourselves now, and yet so many refuse to.

Before kick-off against Georgia on Tuesday, when Delaney arrived into the corporate section of Lansdowne Road, there was a clamour as he came through the glass doors and many whipped out their phones and looked for photos and selfies with him.

Honestly, consider the mindset and utter ignorance of such people.

However, there’s a long history of this. Think of how there was begrudging respect for Bertie for so long, before the collapse came, despite all that was in the public domain. Remember how Johnny Ronan was a rock star and made the gossip columns as a celebrity for doing no more than recklessly building property that helped drive the nation into a deep, dark hole.

Remember how once before kick-off in Old Trafford a local asked their Irish friend in a bar who the guy was standing on a stool singing songs and was told it was Brian Cowen as Taoiseach. That story did the rounds and was told with a dollop of pride.

For many, there’s a similar attitude around John Delaney. In a position of diplomacy, he’s been filmed singing rebel songs in a bar himself – another episode where he got the courts involved to try to stop the media stating facts and telling truths. There was the shoeless episode at the European Championships as well. The bumbling and blundering have made no difference although on this occasion it could be more than perception against him.

Still, he has his defenders. It’s clear why Delaney has been Teflon for so long.

All of this begs the question of what is it John Delaney has to do to feel the need and the pressure to get out of Dodge. Whatever about wrong, this latest episode wasn’t even clever, which is arguably the most surprising aspect of the lot of it.

It’s far from the only query, mind, and those who will get to talk with Delaney in that committee should copy and paste:

– Why is the related party note so vague?

– Is John Delaney still owed €100,00 if he gave both a loan and produced an invoice?

– Why did John Delaney produce that invoice for his employer?

– Why are none of the other executive director payments and non-cash benefits-in-kind listed in the accounts and were these benefits taxed by the FAI through the PAYE system as they must be?

– Are there any companies or relatives of board members employed or used as sub-contractors or suppliers by FAI, and if so why no reporting in the related party note?

In this instance, neither silence nor FAI bumbling through it all counts as an answer. It’s already far too serious for that.

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