What ho! I didn't see you there, I was too busy waxing my moustache while simultaneously brewing a cup of earl grey inside my massive tank here. Turns out we Brits been summoned to the front line to fight the Jerries, and the Ruskies. Even the French are getting stuck in. A jolly good tank rumble , that's what they're calling it, and I'll be darned if I'm to stay in the pub when I could be out here loading shells in cramped conditions with a boiling kettle lodged against the bulkhead inches from my face. Good job Johnny's actually on shell-loading duty, means I get to miss out on the hardest work. SUGAR IN YOUR EARL GREY, JOHNNY? Who the bloody hell am I kidding, there is no sugar. We're in a massive bloody tank. ONWARDS, LADS.

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