Lawyers for Duke University were recently forced into making an odd argument: As a matter of law, the Duke football team couldn't be any worse.

Here's the story from the N.C. Business Litigation Report (including a YouTube video of the oral arguments), and here's what happened: The University of Louisville (Go Cards!) filed suit against Duke in Kentucky state court because Duke backed out of a contract to play a four-game series against Louisville. Duke defended the decision based on a provision in the contract which stated...