Welcome to the Fellatio Café, where customers can get a hot latte with a side of blowjob

The breakfast of champions?

Sex By Will Brendza

When you’re hanging out at a café, enjoying a nice hot cup of coffee, surrounded by strangers chatting, working on their computers and reading newspapers, do you ever catch yourself thinking: a blowjob would really complete this experience … ?

Well, if the answer to that question is “yes,” “maybe,” or even “no,” I have great news for you.

Because now, in Geneva, Switzerland, a new coffee shop called “The Fellatio Café” will soon be offering exactly those services. Customers who want to get their fix of caffeine and sexual relief, now have a place to get both at the same time.

Here’s how it works: You show up, order your drink, sit down at the café bar and then use a tablet to select a girl. She shows up, gets on her knees, and services your schlong while you casually sip your joe, beside all the other Johns.

Yes, instead of bossa nova jazz, this progressive Swiss coffee shop will be filled with the relaxing sounds of slobbering, gagging, sucking and cumming. It may not be the most productive place to try and write that term paper, or reply to business emails, but by Jove it will surely be the most erotic. And, because prostitution is a legal enterprise in Switzerland (so long as sex workers have the right permits) you won’t be breaking any laws, and you know that the women are there voluntarily.

Just try not to spill. And drink quickly — you probably won’t want to hang around after you, uhh… cream your coffee if you catch my drift.

All this for the price of 60 Swiss franks (about $60.57). Which is probably the most expensive cup of coffee in the entire city, but let’s be real: considering the fact you just picked a girl off an iPad and got a blowjob in a public space, at a legit business, while drinking coffee, 60 franks is pretty reasonable.

The escort firm behind this unique new business venture, Facegirl (warning: link is NSFW), didn’t come up with this idea on their own. They based this business model off of similar popular cafes in Thailand.

It is unclear at this point, whether or not this business will offer similar services for female customers, but it seems safe to assume that the majority of the people coming and going from Fellatio Café will be men.

Which means, there’s an open business niche for some enterprising barista pimp, who wants to open up a “Cunning Lingus Café.” The ladies need their fix too, after all.