Colorado Springs, CO — A controversy erupted over the weekend when the United States Paralympics Team refused to stand for the National Anthem during their annual fall tryouts. The team, which is known for courage and perseverance, shocked the relatively conservative community of Colorado Springs and sparked outrage from not only local citizens, but many patriots across the country.

“I don’t know what they’re thinking they’re trying to prove,” said David L. Brett of Stone Mountain, Georgia in a Gish Gallop telephone interview, “but this whole protesting America thing has gone too far. They need to get out there and play and stop turning everything into a political statement about the blacks. We need to get back to a time when America was first, and your feelings were second or third. Or whatever.”

The United States (USA) has participated in every Summer and Winter Paralympic Games and is the all-time leader in medals. The first Paralympic Games were held in 1948 by a small group of British World War II veterans and has grown to over 5000 participants worldwide. However, this hasn’t stopped criticism of their recent actions.

“This is about that Kaepernick thing, ain’t it?” said Missouri State Junior Beth-Anne McCormick. “I don’t like it one bit. It’s not how I was raised. You know, seeing that baby Jesus is woven into the very fabric of old glory. It’s just not right to disrespect Old Glory by not standing up. I don’t care if you’re Olympian or not. You got to get up.”







According to the spokesperson for the United States Paralympics Team, the team will continue to sit for the playing of the Star-Spangled Banner in the future.

“I’m reluctant even to address this because doing so only gives it credence,” said Paralympics Team Communications director and 4-time gold medal winner Jim Strangle. “We’re in wheelchairs. This does say something about how people are uninformed these days and are not exercising any amount of critical thinking. I have to be honest. It doesn’t surprise me anymore.”

Protests are planned over the coming weeks to show support for the National Anthem. Colin Kaepernick could not be reached for comment.