This morning, the president's daughter Ivanka appeared on Fox and Friends, the Blues Clues of yellow journalism. The president wanted to make sure you were aware.

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My daughter, Ivanka, will be on @foxandfriends tomorrow morning. Enjoy! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) June 12, 2017

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He is so proud.

On the program she spoke about the president's infrastructure plans, the Comey testimony, economic policy and other topics on which Sean Spicer has not yet been briefed. One of the hosts welcomed Trump to back to New York from D.C., noting that she was "taking a break from the swamp" which is an oddly on-the-nose and completely unintentional self-read.

After some pleasant banter, it was time to get down to business: being shocked and appalled by things that are neither shocking nor appalling. On the topic of the on-going Russia investigations, the elder Trump daughter said "There's a level of viciousness that I was not expecting. I was not expecting the intensity of this experience." So, I guess it's fair to say that the Trumps are not huge fans of House of Cards, The Manchurian Candidate, most episodes of The West Wing, or Scandal because intensity and viciousness are kind of the whole D.C. deal, but whatever. She continued, "I think some of the distractions and some of the ferocity, I was a little blindsided by on a personal level."

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So, to summarize, the family that touted the lie that the first black president wasn't a U.S. citizen is now blindsided by how rude people can be. So weird.

Well, I'm here to help. The last thing I want is for anyone anywhere to be blindsided by viciousness, especially the kind that is nurtured in the president's online presence like a virtual viciousness herb garden.

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Justice Ginsburg of the U.S. Supreme Court has embarrassed all by making very dumb political statements about me. Her mind is shot - resign! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 13, 2016

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James Comey better hope that there are no "tapes" of our conversations before he starts leaking to the press! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) May 12, 2017

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Pocahontas bombed last night! Sad to watch. — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 26, 2016

Here is a short list of places you may also find yourself blindsided by viciousness. Be careful out there!

Trader Joe's on a Sunday

The F train. Always, but especially when it breaks down and everyone is hot and someone is yelling out spoilers for The Handmaid's Tale.

The set of The Apprentice

Literally every production of Julius Caesar

Golden Corral when they ring the biscuit bell

Fox and Friends

An overbooked succulents workshop

The release of Nicki Minaj's collaboration with H&M

The standby line at Dear Evan Hansen (it's BYOC—bring your own cast—for good reason)

Twitter

A screening of the Blindside (it's not as woke as you remember it)

The plane that brought the Bachelor in Paradise cast back from Paradise

Your monthly writing group the day after everyone gets rejection letters from the same fellowship except for Matthew, of course.

Cheesecake Factory on Mother's Day

Litchfield Correctional Facility

The lobby at the Regal theater if I can't get into the very first screening of Black Panther

Whatever morose Crossfit gym Paul Ryan goes to

An acoustic concert for my new band, Blindsided by Viciousness

A concert for the terrible parody band of my cover band, Blindsided by Viscousness. Like, what does that even mean, Matthew? I get it, you slime people at the end. Big joke. Har, har. Everyone is laughing.

The White House

Best of luck!

Follow R. Eric Thomas on Twitter and check out his "Slang Dictionary" with Representative Maxine Waters!

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R. Eric Thomas R Eric Thomas is a Senior Staff Writer at ELLE.com, home of his daily humor column "Eric Reads the News," which skewers politics, pop culture, celebrity shade, and schadenfreude.

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