Do you have a crazy scar from a surgery that everyone always asks about? Maybe you have a double-jointed shoulder, wrist, elbow, or a missing finger. Or, does that limp get you a lot of second looks?

Perhaps, you’re in a wheelchair like My Gimpy Life‘s Teal Sherer, and folks love to ask about how it all went down? Sure, you can give them the same old story, you know, the true one. OR, you can hop on the fantasy train and give them the storytelling ride of their lives and leave it at that. Sort of how Teal does with her blind date at the end of “Crowded” below.

Don’t worry! If you’re having trouble coming up with your own story, here are 15 you can use for a good laugh.

1. “I met this dude that was really into sex swings, and well… do I have to explain?”

2. “When I was 3 years old, my tribe forced me to battle a unicorn for my family’s honor. If you think this is bad, you should see the unicorn.”



3. “Remember when Fox Mulder said, ‘The truth is out there,’ well, the truth’s right here. Aliens, my friend. Aliens did this to me.”

4. “They say hot yoga’s good for ya, but all I got was this double-jointed shoulder from it.”

5. “My great-grandfather was a transformer.”



6. “Doctors say I’m higher on the evolutionary ladder than most humans. I feel sorry for ya, buddy.”

7. “If you ever cross paths with Alf, stay far, far away. He’s a vicious, vicious little creature.”

8. “I’m a real-life Cylon. The ones on BSG are so misrepresenting us.”

9. “I created a transporter similar to the one in Star Trek. I tested it, and things didn’t go so well.”



10. “I made the Hulk very, very angry.”

11. “You know how Superman can fly on Earth, but not on Krypton? Yeah, it’s like that. In a wheelchair here, but boy can I fly through the sky on my planet!”

12. “I watched too many Real Housewives episodes. Yep, I went blind.”

13. “I fell into a pool of savage puppies. And now I have to re-live that moment every time someone shares an adorable puppy meme.”



14. “I swam with a humpback whale and lived to tell the story. What have you done lately?”

15. “I told one bad joke to a Dachshund, and it all went downhill from there.”