Photo credit: Matheus Bertelli

I’m a woman in a fast changing world.

Knowing where I belong, where I fit in is a challenge. I grew up with two models of femininity and womanhood that conflict, and now I find myself with a third option. The models I knew where that of the “traditional” woman, the stay at home Mom with a husband and kids. The other model was my Mom, a single Mom, college educated, with a career in research before having me, and she chose me over her work.

I don’t want to choose between my life and my work. I love both. In this new world, I think it’s easier now to create the life we want, instead of following in the footsteps of others. In this new world, you can live and work, and eliminate the need to choose.

Of course, I have no problem with other paths of womanhood. I wouldn’t be here without them, but it’s a personal choice, and in this fluid society, anything is possible. Nowadays, I see so many strong women creating the lives they want while building families, and sometimes their family is two dogs and a set of wheels. They’re movers and shakers and mold breakers. It’s easy to think that they might perpetuate the idea of the do-it-all woman. Back in the day, and still today, the expectation of women is that they must do everything perfectly. “Do it all, and never let them see you sweat”. But, these women show the blunders. The good and the bad. They show the results and the sweat that went into building the lives they want. Those are the women I look up to as a woman who also wants it all.

Some of the women I look up to are: Maya Angelou (rest in peace), Rachel Brathen (@yoga_girl), Dana Falsetti (@nolatrees), Beyoncé (@beyonce), Brianna Madia (@briannamadia), Brené Brown (@brenebrown), JK Rowling.

That is by no means a comprehensive list, and not all of them are Mothers or family oriented, but I think representative of the kinds of women I look up to. Women with confidence and poise.

When I was little, I envied the other kids with “normal” families. All I wanted was a Dad and siblings to play with, and now I feel the pull towards having a family again, but for different reasons. And at the same time, I feel the pull of purpose. In a twist of irony, I think my purpose is to share my thoughts, my life, and my writing. Sharing was never my strong suit when I was little. I thought everything was mine, and it’s taken a long time for me to understand that nothing is mine. Everything I have, even my thoughts, are temporary or borrowed. So, I am sharing with you now. And as you read this, my thoughts are now yours, if only for a moment. And the life I build for myself, will one day end, and the path I forge left behind for others.

There’s no question that being a woman, still, is hard work, and we have to fight for the lives we want. But now, more than ever, we are armed with the power to choose. I think it’s worth it. Being a woman means having strength and grace. It means being stern while being compassionate. It means being powerful.

Being a woman today is a blessing.

And realizing our power and strength is just the beginning.

So, don’t be discouraged if you feel small right now.

That’s how all great things start.