Like what you read below? Sign up for HUFFPOST HILL and get a cheeky dose of political news every evening!

Anthony Scaramucci was White House communications director for such a short period that ― honest to God ― we still don’t know how to say his name. In classic Washington fashion, Reince Priebus will get the last laugh by taking a lobbying job that will make him fabulously rich, while Mooch will have to settle for one that only makes him exceedingly rich. And incoming Chief of Staff John Kelly is so good about planting his displeasure with the president’s moves in the press you’d think he was the president’s daughter. This is HUFFPOST HILL for Monday, July 31st, 2017:

AREA PERSON FIRED FOR BEING BAD AT JOB - Area boss also bad at job, muddling situation. Paige Lavender: ”Anthony Scaramucci has resigned from his role as White House communications director. Scaramucci was named communications director on July 21, a mere 10 days ago. Axios reports he resigned at the request of Gen. John Kelly, the new White House chief of staff. ‘Mr. Scaramucci felt it was best to give Chief of Staff John Kelly a clean slate and the ability to build his own team,’ a statement from the White House press secretary said Monday. “We wish him all the best.” According to CBS and CNN, Scaramucci was escorted from White House grounds Monday. The resignation comes after a controversy-laden week for Scaramucci that included a profanity-lace tirade against other members of President Donald Trump’s White House staff.” [HuffPost]

Congratulations to John Kelly on the first of literally tens of days at the White House: ″[the] move [was] made at the request of new White House Chief of Staff John F. Kelly, according to two people with knowledge of the decision...The abrupt decision signals that Kelly is moving quickly to assert control over the West Wing, which has been characterized by interpersonal disputes and power struggles during Trump’s six months in office. The retired Marine general, who was sworn in Monday morning, was brought into the White House in the hope that he will bring military-style discipline to Trump’s staff. He has been fully empowered by the president to make significant changes to the organization, White House officials and outside advisers said.” [WaPo’s Abby Phillip and Damian Paletta]

Ouch: “The blink-and-you-missed-him former White House communications director is listed as deceased in the new Harvard Law School alumni directory, which arrived in alums’ mailboxes the very week that “The Mooch” became the most talked-about guy in politics. An asterisk by the 1989 graduate’s name indicates that he was reported dead since the last directory, which was published in 2011.” [WaPo’s Emily Heil]

KELLY UPSET WITH COMEY FIRING: REPORT - Honestly, we’re surprised that a story hasn’t emerged about how Jared and Ivanka did the same thing. Shimon Prokupecz and Pamela Brown: ”New White House chief of staff John Kelly was so upset with how President Donald Trump handled the firing of FBI Director James Comey that Kelly called Comey afterward and said he was considering resigning, according to two sources familiar with a conversation between Kelly and Comey. Both sources cautioned that it was unclear how serious Kelly, then the secretary of homeland security, was about resigning himself...The sources said Comey and Kelly are not close friends but that they had a professional relationship and a deep mutual respect for each other.” [CNN]

Does somebody keep forwarding you this newsletter? Get your own copy. It’s free! Sign up here. Send tips/stories/photos/events/fundraisers/job movement/juicy miscellanea to eliot@huffpost.com. Follow us on Twitter - @HuffPostHill

LOL - Just like Trump’s promise to “convene a special session” of Congress to “immediately” repeal Obamacare. Aaron Lorenzo: ”The White House expects tax reform legislation to move quickly through Congress this fall, advancing through the House in October and clearing the Senate in November, legislative director Marc Short said Monday. Markups will begin in September, Short said at an event hosted by a pair of conservative political groups backed by the billionaire Koch brothers — Freedom Partners and Americans for Prosperity...Short’s ambitious timeline is the most specific laid out by the White House or Congress in recent months. It tracks with a joint statement issued by administration and congressional negotiators last week, which said, ‘Our expectation is for this legislation to move through the committees this fall, under regular order, followed by consideration on the House and Senate floors.’” [Politico]

All they have to do first is pass a budget that decimates food stamps, which should be a breeze.

REMINDER: THINGS MIGHT SOMEHOW GET WORSE IN SEPTEMBER - Kate Davidson: “Republicans are leaving town for an August recess after a failed attempt to repeal the Affordable Care Act. When they return in September, they’ll have just 12 working days to avert another big problem. In a letter to lawmakers Friday, U.S. Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin said the federal borrowing limit, or debt ceiling, needed to be raised by Sept. 29 or the government risked running out of money to pay its bills...Mr. Mnuchin has made clear the administration wants to see the debt limit increased, with no strings attached. But GOP leaders will almost certainly need to rely on Democratic support to get any type of increase to the president’s desk, something Democrats might be reluctant to provide without something in return. They have been unified in opposition to Republicans on other issues.” [WSJ]

MITCH MCCONNELL WANTS THESE GUYS OFF HIS LAWN - Alex Isenstadt: ”Mitch McConnell is unleashing the full force of his political machine in an all-out push to stop two far-right conservatives who threaten to make his life miserable in the Senate. The Republican leader is aiming to thwart Rep. Mo Brooks and former state Supreme Court Chief Justice Roy Moore in a special election in Alabama next month. Both men are campaigning against McConnell as a despised symbol of the establishment — and both would exacerbate his already stiff challenge wrangling his GOP Conference.” [Politico]

Without Reince Priebus, Trump is a man without a party.

HATCH: OBAMACARE REPEAL IS DEAD - And General Motors is alive! Susan Cornwell: “U.S. Senate Finance Committee Chairman Orrin Hatch said on Monday that senators for now are too divided to keep working on healthcare overhaul legislation and that he and other senior Republicans will take that message to the White House. President Donald Trump has been urging lawmakers not to drop the matter, despite a series of failed votes last week. “There’s just too much animosity and we’re too divided on healthcare,“Hatch said in an interview with Reuters. He said he would prefer Congress not appropriate cost-sharing subsidies that help make Obamacare plans affordable but added, ‘I think we’re going to have to do that.’” [Reuters]

DEMS WILL NOT REQUIRE CANDIDATES TO HAVE PRINCIPLES - Ben Kamisar and Reid Wilson: ”Democrats will not withhold financial support for candidates who oppose abortion rights, the chairman of the party’s campaign arm in the House said in an interview with The Hill. Rep. Ben Ray Luján (D-N.M.) said there will be no litmus tests for candidates as Democrats seek to find a winning roster to regain the House majority in 2018. ’There is not a litmus test for Democratic candidates,′ said Luján, Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee chairman. ‘As we look at candidates across the country, you need to make sure you have candidates that fit the district, that can win in these districts across America.’” [The Hill]

HuffPost Hill facts of life: litmus tests are used to determine acidity or alkalinity.

YES, TRUMP COULD PARDON HIS FAMILY - Assuming we all make it that long, it’ll be interesting to see what Trump thinks he can do as a former president Ryan Reilly: ″[I]f your dad is the president and you’re hoping to head off a potential indictment, you could just ask him to send a tweet. President Donald Trump has, via Twitter, floated the possibility that he’ll use pardons as a means of shutting down indictments that may grow out of special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation into the Trump campaign and Russian interference with the 2016 election. If Trump is learning more about the process, as media reports indicate, he may be surprised by how easy it would be for him to pardon his family members or former campaign aides...But constitutionally, experts say, it’s all aboveboard. The consequences of those pardons would be political, not legal. Normally it would be ‘political suicide to pardon a family member,” i’ the words of Ohio State University law professor Peter Shane. But the normal rules of politics don’t seem to apply to President Trump.” [HuffPost]

BECAUSE YOU’VE READ THIS FAR - Here’s a cat ruining things.

MORE LIKE SHERIFF NO, AMIRITE - Maybe he’ll have to wear a pink uniform in jail. “Joe Arpaio, the Arizona lawman who once proclaimed himself to be “America’s Toughest Sheriff” and was largely praised by conservatives for his hard-line policing tactics, was found guilty Monday of criminal contempt, bringing his tenure as a relentless crusader against illegal immigration to an end. More than a month after lawyers wrapped up closing arguments, U.S. District Judge Susan Bolton found Arpaio guilty for defying a judge’s 2011 court order to refrain from racially profiling Latinos during patrols. The 85-year-old is scheduled to be sentenced Oct. 5 and could face up to six months in jail. Arpaio served six terms as sheriff of Arizona’s Maricopa County before losing reelection last November.” [LA Times]

COMFORT FOOD

- Cable news loves “Game of Thrones” analogies.

- Website that tells you what upgrades your house might need based on its construction year.

- Hawk raised by eagles.

TWITTERAMA

@mollyesque: TRUMP TO COMMS DIRECTOR: MOOCHAS GRACIAS

@petermarksdrama: William Henry Harrison and Pope John Paul I lasted longer than the Mooch, but he beat out Lady Jane Grey by a day.

@joshgreenman: I will always remember where I was when news of Scaramucci’s firing overwhelmed Sam Shepard remembrances

Got something to add? Sen tips/quotes/stories/photos/events/fundraisers/job movement juicy miscellanea to Eliot Nelson (eliot@huffpost.com)

Correction: We accidentally called Mooch the former White House chief of staff when he’s actually the former communications director. He wasn’t around enough for us to really internalize that.