I will be honest with you, being true to yourself is not always an easy task. As a matter of fact, I think that being true to yourself today is harder than it has ever been. And the reason for that is the internet.

The internet, like it or not, has made all of us public figures to a certain extent. We have social network profiles through which we receive likes, dislikes, positive and negative comments, constructive and not so constructive criticism. We are basically out there for the world to judge us.

And for some of us, constant judgment is not something we are able to handle so well. Even the toughest of us, from time to time, are negatively affected by what others think and say about us. As a result, we change from who we genuinely are into somebody whom we think others will like more.

But that’s not all, there are plenty of other situations in which we have to play a role and be someone who we are not. It may be at work in front of our bosses, friends, relatives, parents our wife or husband, etc.

All of these things can change and break us if we don’t learn how to stay true to ourselves. And the only way to do that is by knowing who we genuinely are deep down.

Symptoms of not being true to yourself

Before we go on thinking how to be true to yourself, we must first identify the moments when we are acting in a way that doesn’t align with who we really are. Here are some examples:

We soften our position and opinions when someone disapproves of us

We seek compliments from others and we feel upset when we don’t receive them

We pay insincere compliments to gain approval

We show that we agree when we don’t actually agree

We choose not to complain when we know we should

We ask for permission when it’s not necessary

We feel worried or upset when someone disagrees with us

We do something that we don’t necessarily want to do just because we are afraid of saying “no”

We gossip and spread bad news around to get more attention

We behave in a very strange way to gain approval or attention from others

We often apologize for things we say and do even when there is no problem

We pretend that we know more than we really do because we are too afraid to admit that we don’t know

So, do you feel that any of these can be applied to you? If so, don’t worry. It’s good that you can identify it and be honest with yourself. Because if anyone wants to change, the very first thing that we must all absolutely do is to become aware of what we are doing wrong.

To learn how to be true to yourself, you must first identify all of the situations in which you are not doing it. When that’s done, you should ask yourself, what is the reason for it. Why do I behave in such a way? What will happen if I do it differently? What will happen if I don’t do it differently? Just be honest with yourself.

Don’t be an actor – be yourself, the objective self

You might be asking yourself, why exactly do we even feel the need to act in such an unnatural way? Wouldn’t it be always just so much easier to be who we really are?

The answer is “yes”. However, because we are human, we tend to act in human ways, which often not only overcomplicates things, but can also be detrimental to us.

Are you an honest person? Are you a kind person? Are you a positive person? Do you like things done well? Are you hard working? Are you punctual? Do you love to go for long walks in the forest? Are you humble? Do you love spicy food? Do you care for animals?

You can agree with some of these things, but you also can sometimes find yourself in situations in which you have to pretend that they do not reflect who you are. And the reason for this is the setting you are in and the role you are playing at the moment.

You may be a daughter, a child, a father, a mother, a sibling, a friend, a man in the military, a businessman or businesswoman, an office worker talking to your boss, a taxi driver, a yoga teacher, musician, doctor, etc. All of these are different roles, and depending on who you are with at the moment, you may act very differently and therefore not be true to yourself.

For example, if you consider yourself a hardworking, successful business owner that must work 24/7, then you will obviously find it very difficult to be a good father or a mother due to the lack of free time. You may still want to be an amazing parent, but the role that you picked for yourself prevents you from doing it.

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Please see the difference, in this example, it’s not about the fact that someone works too much that prevents them from being a good parent, but their BELIEF that they MUST work 24/7, regardless of whether there actually is that much work or not.

In any case, I am not going to tell you what is right or wrong. Everyone can decide for themselves what role they want in life, and whether they need one at all. But you must understand that to be true to yourself, you have to really dig deep down and understand who is it that you really are. And when you do understand that, then you can live in accordance with that.

If you come to the conclusion that you are or want to be an honest person, then you can live your life in an honest way, telling people what you really think. Maybe not everyone will like that about you, but hey, at least you are being true to yourself. And in the end, if being true to yourself is what you really wanted and that’s what makes you happy, then you are probably doing the right thing.

What’s on the other side?

For most of my life, I had a really fragile character. I was scared to say “no” to others, to make other people disappointed, angry, frustrated, etc. But because I was being used and controlled so much, eventually, my anger at myself pushed me to change and become more straight with people. It wasn’t an easy change to undergo, but it happened and it happened in the right direction nevertheless.

Don’t get me wrong, I struggle up to this day to always remain true to myself, but it’s nothing compared to what it used to be. I have made it more or less a habit, and it works well enough. You don’t need to be 100% perfect to enjoy success. This is a really important point to remember.

In conclusion, being true to yourself is actually a wonderful feeling, a feeling of freedom. At times, people won’t like you being true to yourself, and they will even try to break you in order to have control over you. But if you are able to withstand the pressure, there is nothing other than confidence, peace and fulfillment waiting for you on the other side.

Thank you for stopping by and good luck! Feel free to leave your comments and feedback below.

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