Name: Trump’s gut.

Age: 72.

Appearance: I prefer not to think about it.

Come on! This is journalism! Sometimes you have to face unpleasant truths. I know, but it’s not Trump’s gut as a physical object that I’m talking about.

That’s a relief. What are you talking about, then? Trump’s gut as a source of his perfect instincts.

Perfect? Pretty much. He could have prevented the 15,000 US layoffs just announced by General Motors if he had had his way.

Really? Oh yes. In a new interview with the Washington Post, he blames GM’s decision on the Federal Reserve, which raised interest rates, thereby obstructing his gut.

Not many of us would do that willingly. No. indeed. “I’m doing deals and I’m not being accommodated by the Fed,” Trump said. “They’re making a mistake because I have a gut and my gut tells me more sometimes than anybody else’s brain can ever tell me.”

He does seem to have a problem understanding clever people’s brains, it’s true. Ah, but like his doctor, you probably underestimate Trump’s gut. For instance, he said that he would know “first minute” if North Korea was serious about negotiating. It is “just my touch, my feel. It’s what I do.”

And how are those negotiations going? Let’s not get sidetracked. Trump also says he has “a natural instinct for science”.

Isn’t trusting an instinct basically the exact opposite of science? Yes. But Trump believes that his gut gives him superhuman powers.

Grope-Man? The Orange Lantern? I don’t think he’s settled on a name yet. Or a costume. But he has learned to master his talent. “There are a lot of things we can’t see or hear, and our instincts are there to guide us,” he explained in his book Think Like a Champion.

Are his instincts often right? Well, according to some estimates, his entire business career has been a waste of time. He would be about equally as rich if he had just invested his inheritance and focused on golf and Twitter.

I see. Exactly. That said, being elected president against steep odds was quite impressive.

Did his gut tell him to break campaign finance law, accept illegally hacked emails from a foreign power and obstruct the FBI investigation afterwards? That remains to be seen. He says not.

Do say: Didn’t Trump’s gut advise him to appoint the chairman of the Federal Reserve, who he is now so unhappy with?

Don’t say: That must have been some other part of him.