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Cal Thomas is a reliably, ultra-conservative codger in his early 70’s, whose relentless anti-Obama propaganda is enabled by over 500 outlets compliments of Tribune Media Services syndication and Fox News appearances. He hasn’t had an objective thought since long before the Kardashian clan cluttered up our culture.

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While Thomas is usually unabashedly stirring up his distorted anti-progressive political rubbish, he, uncharacteristically turned scaredy cat in his latest column entitled “Is the GOP signaling a ‘retreat’? The retreat term is a play on words reflecting a “retreat” of Republican leaders who Thomas thinks are considering “Some sort of legal status for the estimated 11 million illegal immigrants in the United States…”

ROTFLMAO!!! Excuse me as I wipe the tears of ten minutes of hysterical laughter from my eyes. “Some sort of legal status.”

Thomas goes on to proffer that Republicans see Hispanics as a natural constituency because they are hard workers, religious and family oriented. That would imply of course, that the Democratic Party is comprised of bums and atheist and people who hate their families. Betcha there are more instances of domestic violence, especially the kind that ends in the spouse with a bullet hole in her forehead amongst those who voted right-wing Republican than Democrat. And divorces? Look at census bureau statistics that show a divorce rate significantly higher in the red states of the South than in the mostly blue states of the Northeast. Do you suppose Thomas’ intern researcher missed that pithy fact?

Shouda read a recent study on the question quoted in the latest issue of the Nation magazine. Seems the southern evangelical pressure for abstinence until marriage, limited sex education and blocking access to contraceptives has resulted in younger and younger marriages. Along come babies; mom stays home taking a potential income with her and immature dad, barely out of kidhood himself, is simply not prepared for fatherhood.

Thomas then goes on to rip Hispanics for their political beliefs. Some 53% support same sex marriage. OMG! He references Phyllis Schalafly, first lady of right-wingness, who, in turn cites an American National Election Study that asked Hispanics about free markets vs. “BIG GOVERNMENT.” Hispanics get it. “Only 17.9% responded ‘the less government the better,’ and 85.3% said ‘a strong government involvement is required to handle economic problems.” Great answer mis amigas y mis amigos!

Thomas goes on to trash the Hispanic population for children out of wedlock, welfare, Medicaid and health services, estimating $1.6 billion as the total cost of illegal immigrants to the taxpayer. Question. How much do farm operations, landscapers, meatpackers, construction companies, rich folks who hire gardeners, housekeepers, maids and nanny’s and assorted retail, restaurant, hotel and other service corporations save in paying extraordinarily low wages to workers they know to be illegals? Last year, a USA Today article estimated that total at over $2 billion. So the hypocrites cost us $400 million. And it’s all against the law. How about we deport all individuals and corporate CEO’s that have employed undocumented workers over the last few years to their original country of origin? That takes care of the Waltons!

It might surprise you that the vast majority of so-called illegal immigrants were in this country prior to Barack Obama taking office. It’s also useful to note that not all Hispanic and Latino immigrants are viewed the same by Republicans: Cubans for instance. The second a native Cuban sets foot on American soil with an ID, they’ll almost automatically be granted legal residency and an infinitely easier path to citizenship than 99% of Mexican immigrants, legal or otherwise. And the special treatment doesn’t end there. The SBA backs whatever bank loans the arriving Cuban-Americans point to for the purpose of opening a business or just about anything else the newly-pampered escapees of that awful ‘communist’ regime wants.

For the record, new Cuban Americans have received more government aid than any other immigrant group in history. These stats come from NPR’s “On Point” radio show with Tom Ashbrook. As a result, Cubans are ions ahead of their Spanish-heritage counterparts in all socio-economic areas. There are 7 Cuban-Americans in Congress; 3 Senators, including presidential aspirant, Marco Rubio and certified nut bag, Ted Cruz, whose Cuban-born father fled at age 18.

And the likes of Thomas wonder why Hispanics and Latinos will continue to give over at least two-thirds, if not more, of their votes to Democrats. It’s because Republicans treat them like inferiors, capable of only filling crappy, low-wage positions that cause real American’s to hold their noses. I’ve already covered the basics of what GOP immigration legislation looks like. It strews every roadblock imaginable in the path of most of the current “illegal” immigrants in the states.

The Obama ‘Dream Act’ Executive order designed to help Hispanic youth was universally panned by right-wingers. It saves a class of young immigrants from deportation and work-authorization papers. Republicans prefer legislation that forces even legal immigrants to wait decades before becoming citizens ‘er permanent residents. For the undocumented there are fees and fines and delays. At the end of that unnecessarily lengthy and painful road comes, at best, permanent residency. Universal citizenship for undocumented immigrants will NEVER be a part of any Republican approval of an immigration bill, even as a section of their newest scribbling calls for “possible” citizenship for those brought to this county as children.

So the bills are out there. The House has one, as does the Senate. The legislation particulars are far enough apart that there’s some serious hammering out of issues ahead. Paul Ryan, speaking for the House, says passage ain’t gonna happen this session. Ryan has already promised not to compromise or go to committee with the Senate version of the bill. Same tune from Senator Minority Leader, Mitch McConnell. Clearly, the all-encompassing consideration for standing pat is based on the right-wing perception that trends are breaking the way of the radicals after riddling the airwaves with anti-ACA propaganda, 24/7 for years.

Republicans want a permanent immigrant sub-class of mostly non-voters to do the laundry, mow the yard and have no say whatsoever in how the country is run. I mean they’re already suppressing one minority and denying voting citizenship, why not go for two? Cal Thomas can relax. The Tea Party slave ship hasn’t sunk quite yet.