WELCOME TO TRACK DAY 2035. PLEASE HAVE YOUR HOLOGRAPHIC DRIVER ID READY FOR INSPECTION BY THE RECEPTIONIST DROID. TODAY’S NUCLEAR THREAT LEVEL IS ORANGE…

Mercifully, I’m not sat here in the Tesla Model S modelling Bacofoil, and lunch was a beefburger, in lieu of Orwellian vitamin pills and intravenous nutrient paste. But otherwise, this is the future. The world’s best electric car. Alongside it is perhaps BMW’s greatest achievement to date, the mind-blowing i8. Meet the first EV (and sub-£700k hybrid) ever invited to Speed Week, and they’re certainly not here to offset our carbon footprint or as a sop to the noise limit obliterated earlier by a helicopter gunship playing chicken with a McLaren P1 GTR.

No, I’m gliding out of the pitlane in the Tesla with total impunity because, quite simply, it’s the fastest car here. That won’t be news to anyone with a working internet connection really, as the Model S has surpassed surprised cats and Russian dashcams to become the darling of YouTube virality. Search for ‘P85D drag race’ and you’ll tumble down a virtual rabbit hole of Teslas obliterating McLarens, Lamborghinis and (look away, Generation PlayStation) Nissan’s drag-race king, the GT-R, from standstill.