It was weird enough when Donald Trump‘s “spiritual adviser” Paula White said that the White House becomes “holy ground” simply because she stands on it.

But during the same sermon last month at The River Church in Florida, founded by fellow right-wing preacher Rodney Howard-Browne, White told a bizarre anecdote about how she was about to have surgery, but thanks to a sign from God, she demanded the IV tube be taken out of her arm that instant because a demon was going to use it to kill her.

White explained how she needed foot surgery because she was having serious pains, but then she had multiple dreams in which her foot got amputated.

… I’d had three dreams, and in those three dreams, we flew out on a Monday morning at that 6:00 flight. I land at 8:30 and I was going into surgery at 9:30. And I didn’t tell anyone this, but in three dreams, I saw my leg getting amputated. And I said, “Lord” — and I know it wasn’t a fear, it wasn’t anything else — I said “something’s not right today.” And I’m sitting there, and they go in, they put the IV in me, etc. And all of a sudden, I said to the doctor, I said, “Sir,” I said, “How long?” Meaning how long will the surgery be? And he said, “Oh, we’re just waiting. They changed the anesthesiologist.” And the moment he said that, I turned to [husband] John, I said, “Grab my phone right now.” John goes back in the office, grabs my phone, and all of a sudden, a prophet that’s a very dear friend calls me from Ghana, and said, “Mom, you’re on a table right now. Get the IV out of your arm. There’s a demonic timeline to try to take your life.” I looked at the doctor, I said, “Get me off of this table right now.” I’m going in surgery! Is this not true, baby? John’s looking at me like I’m crazy, but he knows when I hear the Holy Spirit, there’s nothing you can do. I looked at him, I said, “Sir, you’re not going to understand this, but I’m about to save your practice, and I’m about to save my life.” I said, “Because they have intercepted, and there’s a demonic timeline to take my life today, and God had confirmed it to me through three dreams, and I had not said a word to anybody. The Prophet calls up, and he says, ‘Mom, you’re laying on this’ and there’s a demonic, he said you can have surgery but not on this day.” And I knew. And I said “Get this IV out of me!” And they said, “Oh, we’ll get your regular anesthesiologist. He’ll come at 2:00.” I said, “Get the IV out of my arm, or I’m ripping it out of my arm. You can’t do surgery on me today!”

There you go. She intercepted Satan’s plans to destroy her via foot surgery. He could’ve gotten her on one of those flights. Or maybe struck her down at the White House for dramatic effect. But no. Satan works through liquid.

If she really did cancel the surgery due to a dream, then have some pity for the doctor who has to deal with a nightmare patient like her. I guess Satan gave up, though, considering she eventually had the surgery.

(Thanks to Kyle for the link)

