One of my clients is a 22-year-old young woman who is about 100 pounds overweight according to the CDC. She has the face of a cherub, with blue eyes and dark brown hair. Her body is a shapely hour glass, but it is hard to find her shape as she buries it under clothing that is too big, hoping to hide her size.

I am pushing her today about her relationship with her body. "Patti (not her real name) have you ever touched your own lady parts (I use the term lady parts until my clients decide upon the name they are comfortable using for their own genitals).

Her face turned red and she started to cry. "No. I have never even looked."

"Why is that? Is it because you stomach covers your genitals and it is hard to see? Or is there another reason?"

Now tears were pouring down her face. "I just try not to think about it. When I get out of the shower, I dry off as quickly as possible and I don't look at my body. None of it. I am just a head, there is no body. I am just too fat and I don't want to see myself, or feel myself."

"Patti, you have told me that you have a boyfriend. Have you let your boyfriend touch your body? Has he ever given you sexual pleasure?"

She just nods her head yes. So Patti has allowed her boyfriend to touch what she will not name, or gaze upon or touch herself.

I for Patti, and for many of my fat female clients who come to me because they feel like they are too fat for love. How hard is it to say no to touch that you don't want when you cannot own your own body? How many fat women allow touch because they fear that they should feel for the of any man—even if it is a man that they don't desire? How are women who are completely detached from their physical selves able to communicate about their desires, and what feels good or doesn't feel good?

It's a tall order, and it makes fat women vulnerable to sexual harrassment—as many men feel that fat women will be grateful for their advances—in the same way that some fat women feel that they just can't say no. It is a set up for cruel practice known as "hogging"—where men go on the prowl looking for fat or unattractive women to prey on for .

This is a topic that is seldom covered by the media. After all—we hardly acknowledge in a public way that fat women are sexual at all. Why cover this cruel practice of men who go out and prowl for women like my client Patti who don't have a strong sense of self. And how hard it is to separate good men who truly love women in all shape and sizes from these predators? How do we teach women to have an open heart, and to love themselves when there are these predators out there who deliberately go after these women to hurt them?

So fat girls—men who come on to you are not doing you a favor. They are coming on to you because they either think you are sexy or they want something from you. Please remember that. Lots of men find fat women sexy, and you are always in the drivers seat. If a man is out there—trying to use you for some kind of sick game or conquest, he will quickly lose interest if you don't follow right along. So take your time and slow things down. Remember, a man who truly wants you — will court you—no matter your size.