The longstanding Private Eye satirist on getting under Alan Sugar’s skin, why Iain Duncan Smith can’t be parodied, and his new book about the Beatles

Craig Brown, 62, is an award-winning satirist, columnist and critic who has written the parodic diary in Private Eye since 1989. He’s also the author of 18 books, including recent bestseller Ma’am Darling: 99 Glimpses of Princess Margaret. His new book is One Two Three Four: The Beatles in Time.

How did your new book about the Beatles come about?

I was working on a book about the River Thames and mentioned to my publisher that I had an idea for the next one: a big, kaleidoscopic book about the Beatles, similar to what I did with Princess Margaret. He emailed the next day to ask if I’d be able to get it out by 10 April 2020 because that’s the 50th anniversary of the Beatles’ breakup. So I shelved the Thames one to do this.

Are you glad you did?

Very, because the Beatles story has got everything. It’s a complete contrast to Princess Margaret’s, which is a sort of stationary life. Theirs is a rags-to-riches human drama. Once they became successful, of course, it didn’t make them happier. There’s the sociological backdrop, the curious phenomenon of fandom, the array of interesting weirdos in their orbit… It’s endlessly fascinating. The book is 600 pages but could’ve been 10 times the length.

Do you remember when you first heard the Beatles?

I was 10 in 1967, so came in at the Sgt Pepper period. I also remember singing Yellow Submarine at boy scout camp.

Did you ever meet any of the Fab Four?

I briefly met Paul at a gig in 1973 and asked him to sign the only thing I had on me, which happened to be a Roxy Music album. I can’t claim a lifelong friendship but he was very pleasant.

Who was your favourite Beatle?

Paul was the one I always wanted to be and since doing the book, he remains my favourite. He not only had this extraordinary genius for melody but for lyrics too. Things like She’s Leaving Home, Eleanor Rigby and Here, There and Everywhere are so beautiful. The others often resented Paul for being the band’s driving force but without him, they wouldn’t have achieved nearly as much.

How did your multicoloured approach to writing biographies evolve?

I’ve always found exhaustive biographies, which is most of them, boring. They recount details of no interest. My system is to cut those boring bits out. Dogged chronology is untrue to life, too. If you’re thinking about your life, past, present and future all merges together, so I try to reflect that.

Alan Sugar cancelled coming on Have I Got News for You after I did him, which was gratifying

You’ve been writing your Private Eye diaries for 31 years now. That’s 750-plus parodies…

I suppose it is. I should get a gold watch. But fresh people come along all the time. There’s been such an explosion of celebrity that the ducks line up for me.

What’s your technique?

They’re sort of verbal caricatures. I take the truth and exaggerate it. My aim is to make it so each sentence could have been written by the real person but it’s the combination of sentences that makes it ridiculous. I might look up someone’s tweets, YouTube clips or articles, steal half their real words, then fluff the rest up. This morning I was doing Piers Morgan, Michael Parkinson and the Duchess of York discussing the coronavirus. I find myself thinking in their voice. I’m like a comical version of that fraudulent medium Doris Stokes.

Is there anyone you’ve struggled to spoof?

Anyone with a distinctive voice can be aped. Alan Bennett has been suggested but I can’t see the point of parodying someone I wholeheartedly admire. I like nonsensical humour but not purposeless humour. There has to be some motivation to spark it. It’s usually irritation [laughs]. Irritation is my daffodil, as it were. It’s also difficult to do boring people, since they tend not to have a voice. Iain Duncan Smith is quite tricky.

Do your subjects see it as a badge of honour or do they react badly?

Some enjoy the joke and I’m happy they do, because some of my parodies are almost like appreciations. Then there are others where I really want to upset the person because they get on my nerves. Alan Sugar cancelled coming on Have I Got News for You after I did him, which was gratifying.

Is it hard to satirise people like Trump and Johnson? Is the world getting beyond parody?

If you were living through the reign of Henry VIII or Hitler’s rise to power, you might be justified in saying that but I’m not sure it’s true now. There’s a rather good recent book by Andrew Gimson about the brief lives of the US presidents and it shows that some have been Trump’s equal in their revoltingness and absurdity.

You’re very prolific. Does it feel that way?

It does, I suppose. Then again, I mainly do humour, so it’s not like I’m going out to the Middle East like a war reporter or interviewing MPs like a lobby correspondent. Mine is a sort of imaginary journalism.

Your wife’s niece is Florence Welch. Are you a fan of Florence + the Machine’s music?

Absolutely, she’s terrific. Whatever it is, she’s just got it. My heart swells with pride whenever I see her on screen or stage. I think she’ll be around for a long time.

Which writer do you return to most often?

John Updike is pretty reliable. I also love diaries like Kenneth Williams’s.

You’ve been based in Aldeburgh, Suffolk for 25 years. What do you love about living there?

When we moved here, a nice old poet called Bertie Lomas – who’s since died – said you could prove Aldeburgh was the best place to live because it’s the only seaside town of 3,000 people that has a bookshop, a cinema and a concert hall.