by

Twas the morning of finals, when all through the dorms

Freshmen were dressing, disguising their forms.

Sarah’s head scarf was tied round her with care,

In hopes that the boys wouldn’t notice her there.

Students filled desks, not snuggled in beds,

While visions of straight As danced in their heads.

And Sarah in head scarf, and I in my jeggings,

Had just cleansed our brains from the sight of men’s meggings.

When down at the testing center there arose such a clatter,

I sprang from my desk to see what was the matter.

Away to the supervisor I flew like a flash,

The staffers were treating us girls like such trash.

Student male gaze on skinny jeans, lo

Gave lust by mid-day to objects below.

When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,

But burqa clad Sarah, seductive eyes causing fear.

Her beautiful eyes, so lively and quick,

They knew in a moment it must be a trick!

More rapid than eagles our accusers they came,

They whistled, and shouted, and called us by name!

“Now Flasher! now, Dancer! You BYU tempting Saudi sex vixen!

No jeggings, no leggings! No skinny jeans whoa! On women like you we shouldn’t be fixin!

So go out the door! Out the door our Downfall!

Now dash away! Dash away! Dash away all!”

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,

When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.

So up went the sign to change the course they all flew,

To hear no more complaints from boys, and girls too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard from a kid,

What had started the scuffle, and of jeggings did rid,

Distracted male students were all around,

One in particular to staffers had bound.



“She wore sexy skinny jeans!” he quickly proclaimed.

“So I failed organic chemistry!” he anxiously blamed.

A bundle of books he had flung on his back,

As he was a student, carrying his backpack.

“Her eyes how they twinkled! Her dimples how merry!

Her cheeks were like roses, her nose like a cherry!

Her sweet little mouth was drawn up like a bow,

And the hair on her head long and shiny did flow.

“The smack of her gum held tight in her teeth,

The CTR necklace round her neck like a wreath.

Pretty and slender, no visible belly,

That shook when she laughed, like a bowl full of jelly!

“She was gentle and loving, no visions of self,

But I stared when I saw her, in spite of myself!

A wink of her eye and a twist of her head,

Soon gave me to know my O-Chem was dead!

“She spoke not a word, but went straight to her work,

Filling in scantron bubbles, all with much perk.

And laying her pencil aside of her nose,

And giving a nod, I noticed her clothes.

She sprang from her desk, and I longed to whistle,

Her beauty a thorn in my side or a thistle.

I heard her exclaim, ‘ere she walked out of sight,

‘A good day to all,’ but her jeans were too tight!”

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