Darren Bent to Lincoln City for £74 million

In the latest in a series of inexplicable transfers for the player, Darren Bent has joined Lincoln City for £74 million. Bent tells the press:

"I've had some great days at Aston Villa - about thirteen, I think - but it's time to move on. People will question why I'm swapping a top Premier League side for unfashionable League Two strugglers, but then people questioned why Johnny Rotten done them butter adverts, so... you know."

Transfer Day Updates are written by Laurence Howarth