IN R/HOMESTUCK, July 4, 1776.

The unanimous Declaration of the eighteen thousand readers of r/homestuck,

When in the Course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the strict regulations which have constrained the shitpost economy, and to assume among

the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the shitposts of mankind requires

that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all homestucks are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are

Life, Liberty and the pursuit of shitposts.--That to secure these rights, moderators are instituted among readers, deriving their just powers from the consent of the

governed, --That whenever any shitpost regulation becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the readers to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new

regulation, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.

Prudence, indeed, will dictate that moderators long established should not be changed for light and transient causes; and accordingly all experience hath shewn, that

homestucks are more disposed to suffer, while shitposts are regulated, than to right themselves by abolishing the forms to which they are accustomed. But when a long train

of abuses and usurpations, pursuing invariably the same Object evinces a design to reduce them under absolute Despotism, it is their right, it is their duty, to throw off

such rules, and to provide new Guards for their future security.--Such has been the patient sufferance of this subreddit; and such is now the necessity which constrains

them to alter their former Systems of regulation. The history of the present moderator /u/~makinporing is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations, all having in

direct object the establishment of an absolute Tyranny over r/homestuck. To prove this, let Facts be submitted to a candid world.

He has refused his Assent to shitposts, the most wholesome and necessary for the public good.

He has forbidden his readers to post shitty jokes of immediate and pressing importance, unless suspended in their operation till his Assent should be obtained; and when so

suspended, he has utterly neglected to attend to them.

He has refused to pass other twice daily shitposts for the accommodation of large districts of readers, unless those people would relinquish the right of terrible posts in

the subreddit, a right inestimable to them and formidable to tyrants only.

He has cast away r/homestuck's shitposting bodies to places unusual, uncomfortable, and distant from the depository of r/homestuck, for the sole purpose of fatiguing them

into compliance with his measures.

He has dissolved users second shit post in one day repeatedly, for opposing with manly firmness his invasions on the rights of the readers.

He has refused for a 24, after shitposts, to allow other shitposts to be shared; whereby the shitposting powers of the once great shitposters, incapable of shitposting,

have been removed to the People at large for their exercise; the State remaining in the mean time exposed to all the dangers of r/johntron from without, and fanart spam

within.

He has endeavoured to prevent the population of shitposts; for that purpose obstructing the Laws for Naturalization of twice daily shitposting; refusing to pass hilarious

antics to encourage their migrations hither, and raising the conditions of new shitpost quality.

He has obstructed the Administration of cheap quips, by refusing his Assent to Laws for establishing frequent shitposting.

He has made moderators dependent on his Will alone, for the tenure of their offices, and the amount of their shitposts.

He has erected a multitude of regulations, and sent hither swarms of moderators to harrass our users, and eat out the shitpost economy.

He has kept among us, in times of peace, Standing Armies without the Consent of our legislatures.

He has affected to render the moderators independent of and superior to the Civil power.

He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution, and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended

Legislation:

For Quartering large bodies of tyranical moderators among us:

For protecting them, by a mock Trial, from punishment for any fanart spam which they should commit on the Inhabitants of these States:

For cutting off our Trade with all parts of the reddit shitpost economy:

For imposing regulations on us without our Consent:

For depriving us in many cases, of the benefits of frequent shitposting:

For removing our posts to be forgoten because of their pretended offences

For abolishing the free System of shitposting Laws in a neighbouring subreddit, establishing therein an Arbitrary regulation, and enlarging its Boundaries so as to render

it at once an example and fit instrument for introducing the same absolute rule into r/homestuck:

For taking away our shitposts, abolishing our most valuable wisecracks, and altering fundamentally the Forms of our regulations:

For suspending our own Legislatures, and declaring themselves invested with power to legislate for us in all cases whatsoever.

He has abdicated users here, by declaring us out of his Protection and waging War against us.

He has plundered our gags, ravaged our pranks, burnt our one-liners, and destroyed the lives of our readers.

He is at this time transporting users of foreign subreddits to compleat the works of death, desolation and tyranny, already begun with circumstances of Cruelty & perfidy

scarcely paralleled in the most barbarous ages, and totally unworthy the Head of a civilized subreddit.

He has constrained our fellow users taken Captive on the high moderators to bear Arms against their Country, to become the executioners of their friends and Brethren, or to

fall themselves by their Hands.

He has excited domestic insurrections amongst us, and has endeavoured to bring on the inhabitants of r/johntron, the merciless Indian Savages, whose known rule of warfare,

is an undistinguished destruction of all ages, sexes and conditions.

In every stage of these Oppressions We have Petitioned for Redress in the most humble terms: Our repeated shitposts have been answered only by repeated injury. A moderator

whose character is thus marked by every act which may define a Tyrant, is unfit to be the ruler of a free subreddit.

Nor have We been wanting in attentions to our r/johntron brethren. We have warned them from time to time of attempts by their legislature to extend an unwarrantable

shitposting over us. We have reminded them of the circumstances of our shitposting and meta-jokes here. We have appealed to their native justice and magnanimity, and we

have conjured them by the ties of our common kindred to disavow these usurpations, which, would inevitably interrupt our connections and correspondence. They too have been

deaf to the voice of justice and of consanguinity. We must, therefore, acquiesce in the necessity, which denounces our Separation, and hold them, as we hold the rest of

reddit, Enemies in War, in Peace Friends.

We, therefore, the Representatives of r/homestuck, in a thread, Assembled, appealing to the Supreme Judge of the world for the rectitude of our intentions, do, in the Name,

and by Authority of the good People of this subreddit, solemnly publish and declare, That these users are, and of Right ought to be Free to shitposts more than once a day;

that they are Absolved from all Allegiance to /u/~makinporing, and that all political connection between them and the moderator /u/makinporing, is and ought to be totally

dissolved; and that as Free subreddit, they have full Power to post bad jokes, slow rolls, contract shitposts from r/johntron, establish the shitpost economy, and to do all

other Acts and Things which subreddits may of right do. And for the support of this Declaration, with a firm reliance on the protection of divine shitposting, we mutually

pledge to each other our Lives, our Fortunes and our sacred Honor.