OK… OK… Hear me out on this one:

Neil DeGrasse Tyson is an alien, or at very least working for an alien race known as the Mi-go who are described in detail in H. P. Lovecraft’s chronicle The Whisperer in the Darkness.

Don’t believe me? Fair enough. So let me take a step back.

So you’ve all heard of H. P. Lovecraft, right? The brilliant genre defining horror and science ‘fiction’ writer? The author who brought to light Cthulhu and the Necronomicon? Well, most people think his work is fiction and all made up. But maybe, if we open our minds a little, it isn’t that much of a stretch to see that his writing was labeled ’fiction’ in an effort to slowly introduce us to a world beyond our own.

Who are the Mi-go? What Do They Want?

As the ‘fiction’ author H. P. Lovecraft has outlined, the Mi-go are an advanced alien race that have spread over the entire universe, well beyond even the limits of our notions of space and time. Millions, possibly even billions, of years ago the Mi-go came to earth to mine for precious minerals and set up small outposts in the hills of Vermont and other locations. While humans have evolved from mindless animals to our present slightly less mindless state, the Mi-go held a strict policy of live and let live. They hid far away from humans and intentionally spread rumors of danger and worse to keep curious humanity out of their few small mining outposts.

However, in The Whisper in the Darkness Lovecraft describes a change in that policy. One of the handful of human representatives they used to learn about us and our planet, as well as make sure their enterprise wasn’t disrupted, explains that,

All the Outer Ones wish is peace and non-molestation and an increasing intellectual rapport. This latter is absolutely necessary now that our inventions and devices are expanding our knowledge and motions… The alien beings desire to know mankind more fully, and to have a few of mankind’s philosophic and scientific leaders know more about them. With such an exchange of knowledge all perils will pass, and a satisfactory modus vivendi will be established.

Phew, what a relief. All they want is to establish an “intellectual rapport” and an “exchange of knowledge.” Apparently they’re most interested in making contact with our “philosophic and scientific leaders.”

So, who is our most famous public intellectual? Someone who knows and loves the depths of space? Someone who can teach the Mi-go about both our science and culture? Someone who, on top of all of this, has the ear of the public and can therefore eventually open a dialogue? Even if his name weren’t in the title of this post, I’m positive Neil DeGrasse Tyson came to many of your minds. Heck, he was even named sexiest astrophysicist by People Magazine.

The Pluto Controversy

But the detective’s trail doesn’t end there at all. So where is this alien race from? Well deep out in space, beyond the known universe. But their closest major outpost, to which their small mining operation reports to, is a planet known to them as Yuggoth.

And where is Yoggoth? As Lovecraft describes it,

Their main immediate abode is a still undiscovered and almost lightless planet at the very edge of our solar system – beyond Neptune, and the ninth in distance from the sun… And it will soon be the scene of a strange focusing of thought upon our world in an effort to facilitate mental rapport. I would not be surprised if astronomers become sufficiently sensitive to these thought currents to discover Yuggoth when the Outer Ones wish them to do so.

As we all know, this “ninth planet” has been discovered, way back in 1930! This is a prediction on a level most religions would be furiously jealous of. But what happened just after Pluto’s discovery and the Mi-go’s first steps towards making their presence known? Well, World War II followed by both Communism and the amassing of nuclear weaponry. Quick on its heels this arms race was then followed by an increase in religious fundamentalism and political radicalization.

Obviously the Mi-go have had to take a step back and reassess the situation. So who better to cross Pluto off the list of planets, and thus minimize much our own astronomers’ or at least the public’s eye on the rock? Of course their leading scientific and public representative on Earth: Neil De Grasse Tyson! An effort he successfully spearheaded in 2008.

The Real Reason Behind the ‘Cosmos’ Reboot

With the population of humanity ever growing, any day anyone might stumble upon their hidden mining operations. So, if we’re clearly not ready to make contact with an advanced alien civilization without starting a war because some politically powerful nut might see them as satanic demons, or whatever else the Christian Right might dream up, then the Mi-go have to engage in some educational projects. If the educational pace we’ve set ourselves is lagging behind our geographical expansion, then they have to accelerate that pace.

Enter the Cosmos Reboot. A major inter-national bestselling series? Science education? Combating superstition and irrationality? Nurturing social discourse and curiosity about the stars above us? Too much to be a coincidence. Clearly once their first priority of covering up Pluto was finished, the Mi-go, through their emissary Neil DeGrasse Tyson, are aiming to slowly educate and develop our culture into a more rational and star-loving one. How dare they!

But none of what I’ve talked about yet amounts to anything close to the most damning evidence of all. I’m sure many of you are still doubting whether or not Neil DeGrasse Tyson is a representative of an alien space race. But answer me this: if he isn’t an alien emissary then why hasn’t he told us – publicly and clearly – that he isn’t? It should be simple. It doesn’t cost him anything at all. So if he really isn’t an ambassador of the Mi-go, why hasn’t he said so??

So, Mr. Tyson, what’ll it be? What’s the real motivation behind all this anti-superstition, tolerance loving, and science promoting propaganda?

Paul Chiariello (Chief Editor, Rutgers & Yale University) Paul Chiariello graduated from Rutgers in 2009 after studying Philosophy and Anthropology and has been running around the world ever since. Currently he is on the Board of Directors of the Rutgers Humanist Community, Co-founder of the Yale Humanist Community, and Director of the Humanism & Philosophy Curriculum for Camp Quest, Inc. Paul has a MSc in Comparative Education from Oxford, completing his field research in Bosnia on ethno-religious identity and conflict, and has spent a year studying philosophy of ethics and religion at Yale on a PhD fellowship. He has also worked with research organizations at the UN and in DC, as well as schools abroad in Uganda, Kenya, India, Indonesia and Germany.