Most office workers paid in full. Between 1993 and 2004, the researchers found that the overall payment rate over time was 88.7 percent. Adherence to the honor system varied widely based on factors such as the type of office devouring the donuts, the day of the week and the weather. People pay for their donuts more often on Fridays, and less often around major holidays. The events of September 11 appeared to galvanize donut eaters’ resolve further, and the honesty rate jumped significantly thereafter—lest the terrorists win.

Surprisingly, non-profit workers were revealed as the least honest group, and the biggest donut thieves. With a payment rate of just 55.3 percent, charity employees paid (hypothetically, not counting bagel purchases and other confounding factors) about 28 cents on the donut, for treats that cost pretty much everyone else an even 50 cents. We’re not sure why so many do-gooders turned out to be so bad, but it sure isn’t the first time a charity organization has disappointed us.

So today, especially if you’re a non-profit worker, prove the world wrong. In honor of National Donut Day—nay, in honor of America—go out, buy a donut and pay the full price. Because today, America, we are all united. One nation, under God, with frosting and justice for all.