Earlier this week, security officers at a mall in New Jersey received a call about a naked man pleasuring himself on a massage chair. Horrified, one of the mall’s guards rushed to the scene to detain him. Before doing so, he ordered the man to put his clothes back on. The nude deviant, however, refused to comply. Instead, he lunged at the guard and punched him in the face. In response, the guard brought him to the ground and detained him until police arrived and slapped him in handcuffs.

Specifically, 51-year-old Joseph Michalski was recently arrested and charged with “lewdness and simple assault” for attacking a security guard who caught him in a massage chair without any clothes on at the Quaker Bridge Mall in Lawrence Township, New Jersey. According to reports, the assault occurred after the guard, who was not seriously injured, approached Michalski and asked him to cover himself. Fortunately, the naked man was no match for the trained guard, who promptly tackled him to the ground and held him in custody until the police arrived.

In a statement shortly after arresting Michalski, Lt. Joseph Amodio, a spokesman for the Lawrence Township Police Department, failed to provide any more details about the situation. Instead, he simply said, “we got a report of a nude man pleasuring himself in the common area of the mall outside of Sears where there are massage chairs…A security officer told him to put on his clothes.” As of now, it’s unclear whether or not Michalski was on under the influence of any substances at the time.

Sadly, officers have to deal with nude criminals on a regular basis. For example, last month, officers arrested Michelle Watkins, a 33-year-old woman from Junction City, California, after she was found sleeping naked inside a stranger’s home in Anderson, California.

According to reports, she allegedly broke into the house, took a shower, and then fell asleep on the homeowner’s bed. She also made herself a sandwich, which she only took one bite of, drank a beer, and stole his cigarettes.

When the homeowner returned to his house, the first thing he saw was a ripped up package on sitting on his front porch with a knife lying nearby. He then went inside and found the strange woman sleeping in his bedroom. Alarmed, he woke her up and called 911.

By the time local police arrived at the house, she had gotten dressed and was sitting in a chair on the front porch. She was subsequently placed in handcuffs and taken to a nearby jail on suspicion of “residential burglary, petty theft and possession of stolen property” with bail set at $25,000.

In addition to Watkins, William Hanson, an 18-year-old man living in Prescott, Arizona, was also arrested last month after he too was found naked inside a stranger’s home. Apparently, Hanson licked a tab of acid and freaked out.

Shortly after his arrest, Dwight D’Evelyn, the Media Relations Coordinator for the Yavapai County Sheriff’s Office (YCSO), provided reporters with additional details. Specifically, she explained that deputies, who were responding to a call they received at about 11 PM about a man seen running from a vehicle that was abandoned in the middle of the street, “found a blue 2004 Chevrolet truck in the roadway with the ignition keys still intact, the engine off and the transmission in drive.”

As they worked to figure out what was going on, a second call came in about a naked man found inside a bedroom of a nearby home. The homeowners reportedly found him there after they heard banging noises coming from the room. According to the officers, when they arrived to pick him up, he was absolutely incoherent in addition to being completely nude.

Concerned, they transported him to a local hospital. The next day, he was released from the hospital and taken into police custody, where he was questioned about what happened. “He admitted licking an acid tab along with his female passenger while parked in an area near Granite Basin,” reported D’Evelyn. “Hanson could not recall any events following the ingestion, including the circumstances occurring after he abandoned the truck,” she added.

Following his confession, he was arrested and sent to the Camp Verde Detention Center but was released a short time later on a $4,000 bond. He’s currently facing charges of “possession of a dangerous drug, possession of drug paraphernalia, trespassing, and DUI with drugs.”

Out of all the crazy things that police officers have to deal with, nudity is easily among the most unusual and disgusting. As seen with Michalski, Watkins, and Hanson, it’s also not too uncommon.