Do you only smile when something is actually funny? Do you have a damn impressive poker face? Well then, you probably suffer from chronic bitchface. AKA: You’re now a prime target for creeps who want to tell you that you should smile until your face falls off. Yes, people are quite concerned about your disease. So concerned that they will make a bee line for you, chasing you across the street as you are attempting to enjoy your latte in peace. I’ll have you know, random man, that I save my smiling energy for only the finest of occasions.

Here are 3 things that only fellow chronic bitchfaced ladies hear on a regular basis:

1. Cheer up!

This one is just plain obnoxious. First of all, why are you so convinced that I’m upset? Oh, so because I’m not walking around with grinning for no apparent reason, I’m automatically depressed? And even if I were upset, saying “cheer up” sure as hell won’t help the issue. Perhaps in response we should say, “Thanks, I’m much better now”.

2. You’d be prettier if you smiled.

Okay, this one makes me angry. Really angry. For some reason, guys love to say this to me when I am minding my own business with a neutral expression on my face. It’s like, alright, I wasn’t frowning before…but now you’ve made me straight-up scowl! Congratulations. And by the way, I wasn’t looking to impress you, random man. I know it’s tough to comprehend. Oh, and please stop winking because it’s creeping me out.

3. Are you OK?

This one is a bit annoying, but most of the time, old women or overly-sensitive individuals are the ones to ask this question (because they’re genuinely concerned). I just laugh this one off and call it a day. Then I feel bad for the person – if you were affected by every single person that looked unhappy, that’d be a tough life.

You know, I’m genuinely curious as to why people take time out of their days to make comments such as these. Do they feel they’re doing charity work? Do they genuinely believe they are helping us chronic bitchfacers by telling us to smile? What gives?

Do you suffer from chonic bitchface? What sort of comments have you received in your time? Share with us!