Today while going to pick up my mail at my university's mailroom, I discovered I had received a package. I was surprised being that I did not see that my S.S. sent my gifts... probably because he put it on TWO-DAY SHIPPING! Hell yeah. When I opened it up... oh no... don't tell me... FUCK YEAH. HOGWARTS LIBRARY. THE TALES OF BADASS BEEDLE THE BARD, FUCKTASIC BEAST & WHERE TO FIND THEM, AND MOTHA FUCKIN' QUIDDITCH THROUGH THE AGES.

It was hard not to open up my package right then and there and TRANSFORM the mailroom into my own personal owlery.

I was about to leave the mailroom and not pay attention in class while engulfing myself in the texts but then - oh what's that girl behind the counter? The mailman just arrived? A piece of mail for me? No? Another - ANOTHER PACKAGE YOU SAY?? YOU AREN'T PLAYING WITH ME RIGHT? CAUSE I'LL HIT YOUR FACE SO HARD YOU WOULDA THOUGHT I WAS A BEATER AND YOU WERE BLUDGER AND YOU WOULD NEED TO USE POLYJUICE POTION EVERYDAY JUST TO LOOK NORMAL, THEN I WOULD WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA AND CARRY YOUR ASS ON MY BROOM WHILE YOUR LYING GOBLIN FACE CRIES ALL THE WAY TO AZKABAN, AND YOU WOULDA BEGGED I TO USE AVADA KADAVRA ON YOUR MUGGLE ASS.

'...here you go.'

This one came in a big box full of packing peanuts (which I just pretended where all the letters that Hogwarts forgot to send) and there was a MOTHA FUCKING SLYTHERIN WALL BANNER HIDDEN UNDERNEATH. After cleaning up all the letters off my floor, I placed it right away next to the walking dead poster from I received from a past exchange.

At that moment, I could have produced the best Expecto Patronum ever. It felt like I was receiving a delivery straight from my own personal Hedwig. :)

Thank you to my AMAZING gifter! Please let me know who you are to let me give you a personal thank you for not only providing me with these awesome gifts, but also the really fun experience of writing this post!

(No actual muggles were hurt in the making of this post.)