By Alessandro Carosi

I did it again, an other break up, running away again from a relationship, from someone that cared and liked me, I don’t know why I keep doing this, I really don’t know, this time I promised myself I would spend time knowing the girl, I would put the effort to be fully present in the moment and make every minutes count but I did it only partially, definitively better then previous datings and relationships, I spent hours reading books about mindfulness, hours repeating to myself that I would commit and stick to decisions taken but I did not, as soon a challenge come along I completely lost control of my thoughts, emotions and consequent breakage.

Like Marianne Williamson wrote in “A return to Love” the worst feeling is when we feel that we have failed and we are the only one responsible for that to happen, that’s what I feel but like in “A return to Love” tried to explain there is always a lesson that can be learned that will help us to grow emotionally and spiritually so that we will do better next time, I won’t beat myself for running away but I will be grateful for the beautiful 3 months spent togheter, I can’t control the events but I can control my emotions, I wasn’t able to focus in the present moment while with that girl but I can learn to be now, instead to let sadness, guilt and frustrations ruin the only thing I have, the present moment.

Every moment is a chance to restart over and from everything and everyone a lesson to learn to improve ourselves, I don’t know why I keep making the same choices over and over again but I know that everytime I moved on I become a better version that what I used to be and that makes me so happy and proud of myself.

I’m learning to be grateful for every experience that life is throwing at me even if painful like this time but I can’t any longer ruin the present moment cause every second count, every second must to be remembered as a happy moment so that our memories will be filled of joyful moments instead of the sad ones.