Jenner spotlights suicide by transgender Bloomfield boy

Just days ago, the story of Sam Taub's suicide had been largely unknown.

The West Bloomfield High School freshman had killed himself at his father's home in April, four months after self-identifying as a boy.

But after a brief mention by Caitlyn Jenner in a Wednesday night awards speech, the death of the Bloomfield teenager gained a sudden surge of media attention.

"Sam's story haunts me in particular because his death came just a few days before ABC aired my interview with Diane Sawyer," Jenner told an audience while accepting the Arthur Ashe Courage Award at the ESPYs, which are given annually by ESPN. "Every time something like this happens, people wonder, 'Could it have been different, if spotlighting this issue with more attention could have changed the way things happen?' We'll never know."

Sam's struggle with his identity highlights how hard it can be for transgender teens to feel comfortable in their bodies and how hard it is for parents to gauge how challenging that struggle is.

The 15-year-old had a history of battling with anxiety and anorexia. He had been in therapy and even spent time in a hospital for anorexia in October.

Sam also comes from an intensely divided family: his parents had divorced in 2012, and he had been estranged from his mother soon after leaving the hospital. His father, Geoff Taub, eventually received sole custody of Sam and his two siblings.

As a result, Sam's mother's side of the family never knew that Sam no longer identified as Samantha. Sam's aunt, Michele Monacelli, said that she still doubts Sam could have been transgender at all.

"Samantha was a happy little girl," Monacelli said. "She loved ice skating and music having her hair done and shopping."

Though she said that she was not against the idea of Sam being transgender, and was not against transgender people, she added, "We still want her to be known as Samantha. That's how we knew her."

Sam's struggle with his identity became known to his family in December, shortly after his 15th birthday. That was when he told his father, Geoff, that he was living in the wrong body, and that it was "about hearts, not parts," as Geoff recalled him saying.

"All I said at that time (was) the big adjustment for me is going from two daughters and a son and two sons and a daughter," Taub said.

Sam's name, which had been Samantha Noel Taub, became Samuel Nicholas Taub.

At first, Taub thought Sam had been adjusting fairly well -- the two did a full turnover of his closet, and every time they went shopping for new clothes that better suited him, he seemed happier.

Sam also recovered from his struggle with anorexia, and became an active member again on his roller derby team: the Darlings of Destruction Jr. Roller Derby League.

But Geoff Taub said he also had no idea that Sam had been harboring suicidal thoughts.

On April 9, he called to Sam and went upstairs when he didn't answer.

He found the bathroom door locked, and had trouble getting it open before realizing his son had shot himself inside. He had died some hours earlier.

"Parents can do a lot for their children if their children are able to talk to them," Taub said, "and that has been the hardest part."

Trans people are much more vulnerable to self-harm. A 2011 survey found that 41 percent of people who don't conform to a gender tried to kill themselves at some point in their lives, and this year alone, the LGBT publication the Advocate noted the deaths of at least seven other transgender young people in the United States, though that number may well be higher.

"A lot of trans youth are taking their own life, and it isn't happening only once or twice, it's happening a lot," said Rachel Crandall, Executive Director of Transgender Michigan. "A lot of transgender youth feel so hopeless, they're stuck in the wrong body and for many of them their families will not accept that. So they're really, really stuck."

Geoff still prefers to remember the times at Sam's roller derby matches, when he would be briefly become incapacitated from asthma but somehow still be smiling as he fought through the moments when it was hard to breathe. He says that Sam's friends in middle school and on Facebook have contacted him out of the blue and told him what an inspiration his son was.

"I think Sam was carrying a torch for others, and now I think Caitlyn is carrying that same torch," Taub added.

Contact Daniel Bethencourt: dbethencourt@freepress.com or 313-223-4531. Follow on Twitter at @_dbethencourt.