You have to hand it to the Democrats. Despite Republicans holding majorities in both houses of Congress, they succeeded in derailing the first two years of Donald Trump’s presidency with investigations into collusion between his 2016 campaign and Russia. They have nothing substantial to show for any of it — in fact, they stopped talking about it during election season — yet they’re marching forward with the haste and efficiency of a coked-out Marie Kondo.

The House Judiciary Committee, newly under Democratic control, announced Monday that it’s ready to dip into virtually every aspect of Trump’s life, including the finances of his business, his personal relationships and, as a crumb for CNN and MSNBC, Trump’s “attacks” on news organizations.

If it weren’t for TV anchors nodding along thoughtfully to every dumb thing a Democrat says about their probe into Trump’s underwear drawer, these endless investigations would have no purpose.

The paramount investigation into Trump, led by special counsel Robert Mueller (which Democrats demanded), has so far rendered a slew of indictments related to tax evasion, bank fraud, and lying to investigators about statements on timelines that would be incomprehensible to anyone who doesn’t transcribe every one of their own daily conversations.

As for collusion, we’ve seen nothing. But why should that stop congressional Democrats?

Sen. Mark Warner, D-Va., ranking member on the Senate Intelligence Committee, in mid-February effectively admitted that he had come up dry in the committee’s investigation, though he pitifully added that “there's never been a campaign in American history ... that people affiliated with the campaign had as many ties with Russia as the Trump campaign did."

That’s a nice consolation prize, but it’s not what we were promised. Besides, the sinister “ties with Russia” is usually shorthand to say that some obscure Trump associate had contact with someone who had a Russian bank account.

Later, having evidently been told told by Democrats that he’s exposing their sham, Warner abruptly changed course, and he did it with all the grace of a swan set on fire.

“The notion that there’s no evidence is just factually wrong,” he said Sunday on CNN. “Just in the public domain there are literally reams and reams of evidence of Russian outreach to Trump officials and clear interest of Trump officials, including the president’s own son, welcoming the opportunity to get dirt on Hillary [Clinton].”

The trick Democrats are trying to pull off is convincing everyone that even without Mueller, even without the clear thread linking Trump, Russia, and the 2016 election, there’s already enough to impeach the president.

House Democrats are zealots, but it’s not yet clear that they’re stupid enough to roll the dice on that gamble.

Because investigations by Mueller, the House, the Senate, and the national news media have only produced evidence of process crimes or years-old bank fraud and tax evasion, it’s not obvious that Americans even know what they’re supposed to be alarmed about.

A USA Today/Suffolk University poll in December last year asked voters how much trust they had in Mueller’s investigation. Nearly 40 percent said they had little or no trust. Another 20 percent said they only had “some” trust. And then another 9 percent said they didn’t know or couldn’t answer. Taken together, that means two-thirds of the public are at least skeptical of the investigation, if they even know what it’s for.

And that investigation could well end without anything implicating Trump in any wrongdoing. Not to worry, House Democrats are here to drag things out until Trump is gone, either two or six years hence. There are limitless opportunities for other investigations that have nothing to do with Russia or the 2016 campaign.

They’re readying to dip into Trump’s past business history, his tax returns, and the personal lives of his family and professional associates.

Former President Barack Obama's friends Bill Ayers and Rev. Jeremiah Wright were never targeted so aggressively. Republicans were mocked for even noting their controversial histories, even though Wright claims to have been offered a bribe by Obama’s 2008 campaign and Ayers is an admitted domestic terrorist.

Don’t pay attention to them, you fool, we’ve got Michael Cohen’s taxicab business to pry!

By the time it's all over, Democrats will want you to forget about Russian collusion because that’s not what their investigations were ever about anyway. They are about hijacking the presidency.