Photo: Trainwreck

Amy Schumer’s upcoming book The Girl With The Lower Back Tattoo is set to be released August 16. And to build anticipation for the “refreshingly candid and uproariously funny collection of (extremely) personal and observational essays” she’s released an excerpt on Good Reads. Titled, “My Only One-Night Stand,” the essay details her chance encounter with an attractive British stranger while on an airplane heading from Fayetteville, North Carolina to Tampa, Florida for her tour. She writes:

I soon found out that he was in the British version of the marines. I couldn’t fucking handle it. It was all too much. I felt possessed and lost all control of my voice, like Sigourney Weaver at the end of Ghostbusters. I was in heat, as they say. Who says this? I don’t know. Shut up and keep reading about my getting pummeled by this British superhero. There was zero turbulence, yet I still found reasons to grab his arm and bury my face in his shoulder. My clitoris was thumping like the Tell-Tale Heart and I kept thinking of the 98 Degrees song “Give Me Just One Night (Una Noche).”


She didn’t join the Mile High Club right then and there, but instead met up with him at her hotel after her show in Tampa. Schumer’s less focused on the specific details of their encounter (“I can’t Fifty Shades out right now and write a sensual paragraph”) and more interested in how the encounter helped her find her self-confidence again (“I do realize that one of the best nights of my life was just a one-night stand in Tampa. But I felt like Marlene Dietrich in Morocco.”).

As Schumer puts it: “I’m not suggesting one-night stands are cure-alls for broken hearts and low self-esteem—but sometimes they really can fix a specific problem. And even better, sometimes sex is just its own reward. No lessons to be learned. No agenda other than fun.”


[via Good Reads]