Welcome back! This is actually as far as I’ve played – I've been battling with a stubborn illness and using what little creative energy I’ve had mostly on novel-writing. Nonetheless, enjoy, and hopefully 4.7 will follow soon!

Last time: Morgan raised donations for her charity. Britta and Morgan met the Fake Morgan Fyres. Arnold met a cute teenage girl named Billie and resisted his urge to be mean just enough to convince her to like him. Instead he targeted his younger siblings, especially Ella, for meanness. Then Ella became a teen!

I installed Toddler Stuff! So now my game is back to crashing a lot.

Josh’s swearing makes Morgan spew up in her mouth a little!! Where could a teenage boy learn such words?!

Both these two’s life bars are all filled up, so I was determined that they should have a really nice day together.

Cuddling on the couch…

…as their adult daughter strives heroically to pretend she can’t hear them…

bitch, what’s wrong with our mailbox

Julian is dying!

Claire, a.k.a. the only other Sim home, is really upset about it.

Luckily for Julian, my game crashed and he un-died.

Unluckily for Julian, he died again.

THIS IS THE EXACT MOMENT THAT BRITTA CAME HOME FROM WORK. Holy f**k if I were her I would have had a heart attack and also died

Instead, Britta just started wandering off looking vaguely confused.

Close-up of her vaguely confused face. Seriously, Britta?

Britta: Um Mum, what are you crying about? It’s not like anything sad has happened recently.

Claire: oh tru

Well, Claire’s mourning period was clearly brief.

All the kids got school projects again! Britta’s nonplussedness seems to mimic my own feelings well.

Arnold: YOU’RE SO OLD AND CRUSTY YOUR PRIVATES ARE PROBABLY FULL OF COBWEBS ANYWAY. GRAMPS IS PROBABLY HAPPY HE DIED

Claire: What the fuck, kiddo. Do you want me to do your project or not?

Arnold: …yes please, do it nan

I am not even kidding. Stop yelling at her, dumbass

Ella does her project by herself because she’s a lot smarter than her brothers. Probably.

Britta and Josh are finished! Yay team!

Meanwhile, on the other side of the house, Arnold has got Claire doing the entire project while he just sits around looking smug.

Arnold: YOU FUCKING RUINED IT NAN LIKE YOU FUCKING RUIN EVERYTHING

Claire: Sheesh! Sorry for trying to help!

By the time they actually finished the project their relationship was at zero.

Arnold: lol sis you dress like you fell into a bargain bin at an op shop

Claire: wat

Britta: *pretends not to hear*

Ella: grrrrr

Arnold: And why do you have that stupid Mortified mood swing moodlet anyway? What a dweeby thing to feel!

Claire: What are you going to do about this, Britta?

Britta: Ummmmmmm idk? :)

Ella: stfu bro

Britta: I’m just glad we’re the close-knit kind of family that can watch a little bit of TV together late at night and no one thinks it’s anything unusual…

Ella: *fantasising about murdering her brother Arnold*

Claire tried to work through some of her feelings by pummeling this punching bag, but this game reckons she’s too old for that.

Arnold: Ugh, can’t you see I’m doing my homework?! Get the fuck out, your face is so ugly it’s distracting me!

Ella: *recoils*

Britta: Yep, a loving, happy family…

Obviously Arnie would want the opportunity to gloat to all the other classmates.

Claire puts aside her current irritation with Arnold to let him get what he wants.

ok, I know you did just die and all, but there is no excuse for this pathetic understanding of current affairs. Claire and Arnold, your wife and grandchild, used to be friends but now they are not because Arnold spent like three straight hours yelling at her while she did his class project

Elsa Bjergsen tagged along with the kiddos home from school! Josh is sad because he decided to have the stupid Mortified mood swing moodlet on the same day.

Josh: Hey, you know… at least I didn’t piss my pants, lol

Elsa seems to appreciate Josh’s dumb sense of humour.

ok, I do have one complaint about the Parenthood GP. Why do parents constantly insist on watching kids’ TV and forcing their kids to join them, EVEN WHEN THOSE KIDS ARE TEENS?? Everyone gets bored moodlets and it’s shit. They even forcibly change the channel when someone else was watching something they actually enjoyed, like the Comedy Channel.

Britta laid down the law and chose option B. I’m not sure it’s true though because I don’t think your school grades have any affect at all on your career in this game

Is this game trying to imply that Julian’s ghost lives in a bar? When his gravestone is blatantly in the Coopers’ front yard?

Look who’s come over – it’s Billie Jang!

And it’s Arnold’s birthday!

Arnold rolled the Materialistic trait, to go with his pre-existing ones of Loves the Outdoors and Mean.

What a coincidence, it’s Billie’s birthday too!!

She looks basically the same. Arnold sings a heartfelt tune for her.

Arnold and Billie try to have an intimate word in the kitchen, but Claire is determined to lecture them about parenting.

Billie: Look man, not to sound cold but, is your grandma going to die soon?

Arnold: I hope so

they so cute

ok Britta, I know you are a caregiver, but you don’t have any toddlers. And I think it’s a bit soon to be putting the pressure on Arnold for grandkids.

Arnold: Hey, so, until tonight, this was my grandparents’ room, but since gramps is dead and grandma’s almost there, basically, I inherit this room and their double bed. Do you want to christen it? ;)

Billie: dude that’s weird

Not weird enough to stop them though.

Arnold: If I become your boyfriend will you buy me a CAR?

Billie: Yes!

Arnold: Yippee!!

In all seriousness, this is the animation that played when I got Arnold to ask Billie to go steady with him. idgi

Due to Arnold’s fitness-related aspiration, he follows in the footsteps of his hated grandma Claire and joins the athletic career.

For some bizarre reason Josh decided to tell his brother this. DON’T DO IT, JOSH! HE’LL ONLY USE IT AGAINST YOU!

Obviously Billie had only just gone home, but Arnold invited her over again regardless.

This was a possible action as Arnold clicking on Billie. This game cuts deep.

They went on an awesome date at the Hare & Hedgehog Café (they reached the gold level!) but then my game crashed so there’s not really a lot of point showing you what happened :/ (it’s not like it was an exciting dramafest)

I started my game up again, and this time Billie was Tense. I had Arnold massage her shoulders and man did she enjoy it.

I lack a specific picture of this, so you get this random cute one, but… Billie moves in!

They celebrate this milestone in their relationship with a lil’ bit of naughtiness in a wardrobe.

Josh invites Elsa over after school, buuuuuut…

…these lame-os (plus Britta and Ella who are off-screen) kept trying to insert themselves in the teens’ conversation, making it an Awkward Encounter and generally being pains in the arse.

SO, I had Josh and Elsa sit out here in the hope that the rest of the family would STOP INTRUDING.

Unfortunately it didn’t work.

So I tried moving them to the BACK of the house instead.

Unfortunately, Morgan used her Meddling Mother Cockblock Telepathic powers to send a message through the air that Josh needed to cancel EVERYTHING in his queue and come watch toddler cartoons with her IMMEDIATELY.

When I FINALLY managed to cancel that and get him back to the table (it took three attempts), ELSA started walking away.

What does this game have against teenage love?!

After a seriously long-ass, frustrating time, I finally got them to start flirting, and be in simultaneous Flirty moods.

Then Elsa arbitrarily declared she had to go home. Note Josh’s frustration.

Please note I would never say this to anyone in real life but U A COCKTEASING BITCH, ELSA

I hadn’t noticed Julian’s ghost emerge from his grave at all, until “Kiss” suddenly appeared in Claire’s queue and she walked on over to the kids’ room and THERE HE WAS!

Claire: Do you want to spend the night?

Julian: Well that’s basically what I’d planned on doing so yeah ok

THEN THIS BASTARD IMMEDIATELY WENT TO A SINGLE BED AND CURLED UP AND WENT TO SLEEP.

THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM. YOUR SPOUSE IS THRILLED TO SEE YOU AND YOU WASTE YOUR LIMITED HOURS IN THE LAND OF THE LIVING ASLEEP!!!

Claire tried to wake him up but he ran off to cook a pot of beans, stuffed the whole thing in his inventory, and fucked off back into his tombstone.

Sorry Claire.

Arnold, you’d been doing so well! Stop insulting Billie!

I gave Billie just a smidgen of a makeover in CAS. Just a face overlay and eye makeup.

Arnold proposes to Billie! She is thrilled!

Arnold himself may briefly have regretted it when Billie sprang this on him though.

They take their celebrations to the bedroom.

Josh invites Elsa over after school, and they share their first kiss!

Unfortunately, Elsa thinks it’s pretty blatant that he timed this to show off to his older brother, and she is not impressed.