Friends, we’ve talked about what Ramadan is. We’ve talked about what the average day of fasting is like. But you are my readers, and I know what entertains you. As educated and worldly as you are, you just want to giggle at the weird things.

Now that we’ve completed the first week of Ramadan, I give you the seven strangest experiences that this month brings.

1. Sleepy eating.

Many Muslims wake up before sunrise to have a small meal before starting their fast. At first, my brothers and sisters in Islam awake with vigour and enthusiasm:

But then the toll of waking up so early starts to get to them and they question why they do it. Although they’re eating, they’re not quite awake.

I remember one year, I woke up to have some water. I was so tired that I filled up my glass of water and put it back in the cupboard. I forgot I had done it and went back to get a glass. Well, you can imagine what happened when I picked up the same glass. I was definitely much more awake.

As the month goes on, many tend to undertake the strongest jihad – to eat or not to eat:

And on nights when ‘eat’ wins…

It looks something like that.

2. Lots of energy highs and sudden energy lows.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but during Ramadan, it’s like my energy levels can be changed as easily as flicking a switch. You see, I go through these high phases where I’m a machine on a mission and then it momentarily falls apart. I go from this

to this.

3. Keto-breath

The biggest problem Muslims face during Ramadan is keto-breath. Halitosis. Bad-Ramadan-breath. It’s amazing how quickly your breath starts to stink when you haven’t eaten. No amount of brushing, flossing and mouth-washing in the morning can prevent it. I’m not sure if others can smell it, but there are some days where I’m like… God have mercy on us all. If a Muslim attempts to conversate with you at a distance, they’re just trying to protect you from this:

4. Random tummy rumbles – really loud, random tummy rumbles.

You’re at an important meeting and being all professional-like. You’re about to make the comment of the meeting. Then this happens:

You’re not really that hungry. But now your insides are empty and the noise that the beast inside makes echoes with the strength of a thousand beating drums. How embarrassment.

5. Unreasonable dinner plans.

The second dumbest thing you can do while fasting is talk about food. The dumbest is go grocery shopping. But sometimes you and your friends decide that it’s a great idea to talk about what you’re going to have for dinner that night. It starts off sane. You’ll have some steak and salad. Maybe some soup. Then you decide you’re going to make some pasta as well… or maybe a lasagne. Maybe you’ll have some roast lamb and some stir fry as well. Then you make an oath to eat everything on God’s green earth.

Oh, and your plans for each and every night?

6. Unparalleled excitement about sunset.

I’m sure this one doesn’t require much explanation. You’ve been abstaining from eating and drinking all day. The day has edged closer to its glorious end. Suddenly, you hear the athan which rings in maghrib (sunset). The realisation that you may now quench your thirst and silence the beast that has growled inside you all day hits, and you celebrate:

7. Inability to actually eat.

After fantasising about food all day, you imagine dinner time to look something like this:

But as much as you want to, your stomach just won’t accept food in those quantities or at that speed. So instead, you have to take it slow and eat like this:

It’s probably a very good thing, and the one thing that will prevent you from gaining a trillion kilos during the holy month. But it doesn’t really mater, because the first mouthful of anything you eat is amazing.

What strange things do you experience during Ramadan or when you’re just hungry in general? Do you also find yourself spending double what you usually would when grocery shopping? Have you tried fasting for a day or part of a day to see what it feels like? Let me know your experiences!

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