We're all Internet people here. As a Cracked reader in particular, you are no doubt a suave, considerate and popular person, but you probably have a "friend" who is socially awkward and a bit messy and has other habits frowned on by society.

Your friend should take up sports. Not because it will make them cooler, but because sports let you keep doing all those uncool things -- and more -- and you're immune from criticism. And unlike explaining away your purchase of a replica Frostmourne sword by saying you need it for LARPing, which just makes things worse, explaining away your goofy sports goggles by saying you're training for a triathlon magically makes the shame go away.



Actually you'd have to pretty much be an NBA MVP to get away with owning this shame-free.

I just found this out firsthand. Doing a 100K bike ride really opened my eyes up to what you can get away with. Suddenly, all of my bad habits were forgiven. Like ...