It’s February, and Arctic winds are making it tricky to enjoy a full-pace outdoor tinny session.

But don’t worry. Hibernation isn’t the only alternative.

This north London wander will help you bridge the gap until National Tinny Drinking Day on 28 March 2018, when the proper fun will begin (further details on this to follow).

Part 1: Alexandra Park Hill

Why visit this spot?

Visit for the spot’s history and the rare sense of civic pride it provides.

It was built in 1873 so there’s probably a dark side to it, but the official history states that this is a palace built for the people. An act of parliament requires that the building is made “available for the free use and recreation of the public forever” (though this doesn’t mean that you can ice skate and see bands like LCD Soundsystem gratis).

The People’s Palace is also central to story of the BBC, as it was from this spot that television was first broadcast to the nation. The boards protecting the east wing restoration project explain everything.

Visit also for the view. It’s incredible.

In darkness, you’ll think ‘pond life’. The lights of London take your entire field of vision. You can see the street lamps atop hillside tinny spots in Nunhead, Greenwich, and possibly even Essex. It’s a pensive place.

The benches outside the Phoenix Bar & Kitchen are a good place for sitting down. It’s worth taking a look around the pub itself, which bears all the hallmarks of what’s wrong with drinking in licensed establishments. It’s stuffy, it’s expensive, and you can’t see the view (though new lightbulbs, a refreshed selection behind the bar, and a rethink of the pictures on the walls could make this place a real institution for well-heeled north Londoners).

Transport links (3/5) and how to get there

You have a few options, but it’s a spot you need to head to deliberately.

Alexandra Palace station is located five-minutes east of the hill and offers a regular service to Moorgate. There’s a helpful connection with the Overground and Victoria line at Highbury and Islington.

My favourite way to get there is to walk from Crouch End. From the clock tower, stroll northwards up Broadway Parade and take a left onto Rokesly Avenue. The houses here are just beautiful. Art deco windows frame your glimpse into heavenly north London family homes. Head through the weird, wonderful and almost soviet Priory Park, over Priory Road, and then up Park Avenue. The entrance to the park is at the top of the road, and you are led up an often muddy path to the palace (here’s a map of the route).

You can also arrive from Wood Green. Just do the reverse of the trip outlined in part two.

Proximity of tinny shops (2/5)

This tinny spot is located atop a hill in a large local authority-run park. So, it shouldn’t be a surprise that you’ll need to bring your cans with you.

If arriving from the train station, there’s an acceptably stocked off licence next to The Starting Gate pub.

If taking the route from Crouch End – there are a few shops along the way (£5 minimum on card is probable).

Toilet access (3/5)

The pub is open from 11am until 11pm, and they don’t mind you nipping in to use the facilities.

If you’re there earlier than 11am, you should be able to use the W.Cs within the palace or ice rink.

If you’re there later than 11pm, you’re probably not going to mind using the bushes.

Part 2: A tinny film at Vue Cinema, Wood Green

When you get cold, catch the W3 bus which runs outside the palace and down the hill. The service is surprisingly regular for a bus stop located in the middle of a park, and a route that begins with a letter.

You’ll be whisked away to the concrete, suburban retail jungle of Wood Green. Re-up on cans from Wood Green News, and head in to the warmth of Vue Cinema to watch a film.

The value here is astounding. £5.99, any film, any time. No one’s there to search your bag when you’re on the way in. See what’s on.

Which tinny to choose?

The seasoned tinny drinker will want to pick a can that’s paired with the on-screen action. Here are a few suggestions:

Fifty Shades Freed

Nothing says frisky, cinema-seat fumble like 5.6% Żywiec.

Darkest Hour

Churchill was such an advanced baller that Special Brew was made just for him.

The Commuter

It’s got to be M&S Belgian Lager, my personal favourite when I’m travelling on the rails.

The Greatest Showman

You’ll probably need to up the game and get on the shorts if you want to make it through this shitter.

Need to eat?

Luckily, you’re close to one of London’s food capitals. Walk south down Green Lanes, and there are tens of establishments offering plentiful Turkish cuisine. They’re all much the same.

Like the idea, but worried about drinking in public places? Read this.