Lauren from Ambling, ND writes to The Satirical Post's health advisor Gregor Wolfowitz.

“Salutations Gregor. Friends tell me I should shut off my computer and phone before bed for a better night’s sleep, but I’m skeptical. What would you advise?”

Lauren, your friends are correct but simply turning off devices does not go far enough. You could power down and unplug all the electronics in your home but even then, I say you could be doing more. The only way to ensure you’re getting the best night’s sleep is to knock out your local power grid. All you’ll need is ten friends, each with their own unique but equally helpful skill, and whatever that electromagnetic device was from Ocean’s 11. Sweet dreams, my friend.

LEGAL DISCLAIMER: Gregor is not a trained medical physician nor is he certified to give out advice on anything outside of bicycle repair, and in rare cases birdhouse assembly. While Gregor will respond to ‘Doctor Gregor’, ‘Love Doctor’, or simply ‘Doc’ that is in no way an attempt to present himself as a medical professional.