Nagpur: A century ago, women had started feeling the need to assert themselves and their needs. Today, men have started to feel the same pressure and the need to speak about the problems they face everyday for belonging to the gender they do. Men’s rights activists believe that over the last few decades, the tide has turned against men, making them the subject of much social discrimination. Phrases like ‘Be a man’ and ‘Don’t cry like a girl’ seem as offensive to the men these days as they do to feminists. The social expectations from men and the pressure to fulfil them are lopsided, according to several men’s rights organizations. It is because of these reasons that they find it important to mark International Men’s Day, which falls on November 20 this year. “The contributions and sacrifices that men make for their families, and the society at large, are generally taken for granted or trivialized. This is because they are ‘supposed’ to do these things. In the name of promotion of women’s rights, the society has become indifferent towards the welfare of men,” said men’s rights activist and founder member of NGO Child Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting (CRISP) Kumar Jahgirdar. He added that a negative side-effect of these developments, that amounts to correcting one historical error by committing another grave mistake, has been the intentional neglect of the condition of men in society and a whole new kind of societal imbalance. “Owing to constant pressure of meeting their family expectations and fulfilling social obligations, men often fail to recognize their own worth. The fact that these duties are seen as obligatory doesn’t help the cause. To make matters worse, those who call themselves feminists have only been able to contribute towards making the laws of our country lopsided. If they are really propagating equality, they must bat for gender-neutral laws instead of those that treat women as victims and men as perpetrators of crime,” said president of NGO Save India Family Foundation (SIFF) Rajesh Vakharia. He added that the horrors that divorced men are facing in the present day are such that it would be no surprise if many more men decide to stay away from the institution of marriage itself. Activists are concerned that the many ill-framed laws on marriage, dowry, rape and workplace harassment are weakening the very fabric of family and society in India. SOME ISSUES FACED BY MEN Discrimination against them in family courts 90% men separating or divorcing their wives lose access to their children Government and courts have no policy for prevention of suicide by married men despite high numbers Even if a man is abused by a woman, society rarely punishes the abusive woman Men are conditioned by society to take more risks, even endanger their lives and limbs to play the role of chief bread earner for their families Sacrifices that men make for society and family are taken for granted and considered to be a duty Government of India has no official mechanism available to collect statistics regarding crime against men Men find it very difficult and challenging to discuss their issues and concerns, as they are expected to be strong and tolerant in the face of problems DEMANDS OF ACTIVISTS Undertake research on men’s health A dedicated ministry to safeguard men’s rights and welfare or setting up of men’s commission Make laws gender-neutral, especially those regarding dowry, domestic violence and rape cases Extend the Domestic Violence Act, 2005, to include husbands Make shared parenting mandatory in case of divorce/separation Stop treating all men as potential rapists, perpetrators of crime and indulging in domestic violence Provide for adequate paternity leave by law in order to provide emotional and physical support to newborn THEME FOR INTERNATIONAL MEN’S DAY The theme for the day this year is ‘Working To Expand Reproductive Options for Men’. It aims to address issues related to sexual and reproductive health of men, like those related to family planning, men’s limited number of reproductive choices, sexual health and safe sexual practices.

