“What I said wasn’t what you heard me say, what I said was the thing I’m saying now. I just said it, so it was definitely the thing that I said. Memory is fallible, and if you recorded what I said, it was probably recorded incorrectly because of solar flares.”

Of course these days, politicians and their spokespeople don’t even bother coming up with excuses. They just lie to everyone’s face and journalists just don’t call them out on it – at least not to their face. It certainly makes Arianna’s job easier, because you can say literally anything. Sure, your ideological opponents will gleefully ding you for each and every mistake, but the majority of the public obviously doesn’t care about boring stuff like “facts.”

This is among the many reasons that aliens have never contacted us. At least not in the real world. In the comic world, the Alari had a damaged space carburetor or something that forced them to land here. Whether or not they decide to vamoose the instant they can, or decide to take over the world while telling us they’re doing no such thing is another matter.

“I’m not drinking your president’s brain and gaining all his knowledge” (stick straw in president’s head) “Such accusations are wild fabrications and have no basis in reality.” (slurrrrrrrrrp)

So… as a journalist, you’d practically be obligated to go on a date with an interested alien party, right? I mean, the lifestyle piece you could write about it would be instant Pulitzer material, even if you just had Italian and kept the hanky-panky strictly above the waist. Assuming that’s where they keep their hanky-pankables, I guess. The very first article written about the dating lives of alien race X would be pretty incredible stuff.

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