The most puzzling part of the discussion about gay equality and same-sex marriage is how anyone can be opposed to this on reasonable grounds. I never understood what straight people lose when gay people are allowed to marry, for example. But then I took part in Baltic Pride 2013 in Lithuania and I had a chance to listen to the opponents’ arguments. Let’s look at the arguments against gay equality. The opponents of gay equality had months to prepare for this occasion, they were coordinated, they decided to publicly display their arguments and they knew they would end up on TV and in newspapers (and this blog), so I assume they decided to bring forth their very best, thought-through and compelling arguments.

This guy – and many others – had no problem with gay equality as such, they were just against a public march through the city. His placard says “Homo Parade No No No No”.

You might think that screaming “No No No No” is a childish substitute for a good argument, but the argument is in the symbol: many protesters were obviously concerned with the public safety of those walking in the march, as indicated by a symbol of one marcher bending down to tie his shoelaces and the person behind him bumping into him accidentally. Many protesters displayed this symbol and I am actually thankful that they warned us to look where we are walking to avoid any accidents. Thank you!

The health and safety advisors also warned us of contracting diseases while marching.

It should be mentioned though that one is very unlikely to contract AIDS in a public parade, unless one asks for a blood transfusion from a fellow marcher. Oddly, the rates of AIDS infection are highest in countries that are rather homophobic, suggesting that social and medical backwardness go hand in hand.

Then there were those who were against the European Union, which probably means that they are against Lithuania receiving infrastructure funds from the EU, against Lithuanians being free to travel, work, study and live anywhere in Europe. Or maybe they are mainly annoyed by other Europeans – like me – moving to Lithuania.

What this has to do with equality for all sexual orientations? I don’t know.

Other protesters however were very European, showing off their Spanish skills, their collection of colour crayons and their obsession with penises.

The poster on the left of the next photo apparently warns of the danger of overpopulation stemming from heterosexual couples, which always and automatically produce two children, always one girl and one boy. Just weird that the population of Lithuania is shrinking so fast then.

The poster on the right introduces the theme of animals, a recurring theme of the protesters. One gentleman even brought a goat.

As far as I understood, the farmers were concerned that gay rights activists could convince their animals to become gay and to stop reproducing, although I found it a bit illogical that the farmers would then bring their animals to watch the parade. These fears are completely unfounded though, because as long as gays and lesbians are denied basic human and civil rights and have to worry about exclusion and physical violence, they really have more important things to do than talking to animals.

These two guys were cute with their call to “defect”, as if it was a rivalry between two football clubs. I doubt it was very successful though. As the event proceeded, it seemed to me that more people defected to Baltic Pride once they saw that we equality activists are quite normal people and not the aliens that our opponents make us out to be.

In Lithuania, no protest is complete without some nationalists. Why do nationalists and Nazis everywhere love red, white and black on their flags?

And then there were these two girls, one of them in Vatican-approved hot pants, pretending that Lithuania was a Christian country. Apart from the fact that Lithuania was the last country in Europe to become Christian and that many non-Christians live here as well, trying to impose one’s religion on everyone else reeks of the Taliban. Also, if even the Pope is more tolerant towards homosexuals than you, then you are definitely on the wrong side of history.

These two guys look like they knew what they are talking about with their poster “Sodomy leads to hell”.

I wonder if the “Save the Family” guy noticed the irony of bringing a pink umbrella to protest against a gay rights event.

But “family values” were upheld by this father who showed his son how to be an upright, tolerant, peaceful and compassionate citizen.

Yeah, that’s the kind of good traditional parenting that needs to be defended against these “homosexuals who want to indoctrinate the rest of society with their propaganda”.

By the way, it was very strange that none of these “family values” people actually showed up as a family. They were either single guys whose wives had left them, or several guys hanging out together or several women hanging out together. Or with animals as we have seen. Very suspicious.

So, did you see any convincing argument against equality for homosexuals? No, me neither.

(Zur deutschen Fassung dieses Artikels.)