Here are some things that Alex Jones, the bellicose conspiracy theorist behind Infowars and Prison Planet, actually believes:

Yep, Alex Jones is a Men’s Rights Activist in all but name.

In the video above, ostensibly an analysis of the “the political and social agenda pushed during the Super Bowl,” Jones argues – and I use the term loosely – that the secret cabal running the world is using the media to tear down men and destroy the patriarchal family.

One of their primary weapons? “Bumbling dad” characters on TV sitcoms, which make men in general, and fathers in particular, look silly. (Huh. I’m pretty sure I’ve heard this one before.) Demonstrating that he has his finger on the pulse of contemporary culture, he cites the examples of Archie Bunker and Al Bundy.

The rest of his rant is fairly typical Alex Jones material, an ominous if mostly incoherent assortment of dubious assertions and dire predictions about the future. Only this time he works in some oh-so-familiar MRA tropes. Strikingly, though his arguments in favor of the patriarchal family are thoroughly sexist, he displays none of the overt hostility towards women you see amongst Men’s Rightsers, whether on Reddit or on A Voice for Men.

He reminisces about visiting the homes of his alleged “black friends” as a kid, distressed to discover that the mothers were in charge. He suggests that Planned Parenthood’s is up to no good, but doesn’t explain why and tells his listeners to “look it up” themselves. (I looked it up: Apparently they’re a “Eugenics Death Cult.”)

At one point he claims that children are being taught “fisting” in grade school sex-ed classes. No, really.

But my favorite bit comes about 8 minutes in, when Jones, in the midst of explaining away the pay gap between men and women, declares that men are basically hard-wired to work harder than women:

It’s men that are meant to go out and not sleep for three days chasing down mastadons, to run them over the side of a cliff, to haul back enough … meat so that everybody survives for the winter.

That’s right: Alex Jones believes WE HUNTED THE MASTADON TO FEED YOU.

I only skimmed the comments over on Infowars, but I did enjoy this one:

I have to say that I am much less enthusiastic than Wirpaul about the prospect of bearing children, as I am under the impression it hurts a LOT.

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