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“Wow, this place has really gone to the dogs.”

Anna and Doc were walking up the steps toward the front doors of Dell Valley High. She really felt silly in the Sears getup Doc had hastily helped her procure: a faded denim miniskirt with fishnet stockings, and the gaudiest top she’d ever seen in real life. A parroting of actual 80s style as interpreted by greedy outlet stores.

For some reason, “Time Warp” started playing in the back of her head.

“Remember, we’re not here to sightsee,” Doc hissed, trying to stuff more of his hair up into the porkpie hat he thought was ‘inconspicuous’. “We have barely over one week in which to figure this out. One week in which to cement the romantic bond between your parents before sending you back home. The lightning will strike the clocktower at precisely 10:04 PM next Saturday, and that is our only window of opportunity to harness its power to-”

“Yeah, yeah,” she hissed as they wandered through the halls. It looked so grimy and dingy. After a moment, it dawned on her that it was because of the renovations in 2009; before that, evidently, it had been even worse. Of course it looked bad. “If we don’t catch the lightning bolt, I’m stuck here forever, or until you can grab us some plutonium. I got it.”

“Good. And I would rather not try for plan B, as I’m fairly certain it would bankrupt me and land me in a federal prison. Now… let me know the moment you see either your mother or your father.”

Just then, the bell rang, and Anna backed up to the wall and tried to look busy. It was hard without a mobile phone to check incessantly; she didn’t know what to do with her hands. She glanced up out of the corner of her eye until she spotted a familiar face, then groaned.

“There’s Dad, alright.”

Said “dad” was currently stumbling down the hallway, an armful of books clutched against his chest. Following closely, several boys, all of whom seemed to be… kicking him? As soon as he turned around to have a go at them, it became obvious why: he had a huge 'kick me’ sign on his back. Anna couldn’t entirely suppress a groan. That actually happened to real people? He had yet to notice her – he was trying to stop the boys, and failing spectacularly. One well-placed kick to his behind had him sprawling across the floor. He stood up as quick as he could, trying to yell at the boys to pick up his books, when a very familiar face stepped into view.

“Mr Weselton?” Anna whispered, more to herself than anyone. “Wow, has he always had that godawful toupee?”

The whole scene was equal parts pathetic and terrifying. No wonder it had taken a car accident for her parents to get together; pity, it seemed, was a fairly strong motivator. Finally – as soon as Mr Weselton had stalked off to harass some other unsuspecting student – she left Doc with a shrug and went over to help him up.

“Kristoff, heeeeey!” she said in a cheery voice, helping to gather his books and papers. She tried not to snort when she saw the words 'Trapper Keeper’ on his binder, but then put that out of her mind for the moment.

“O-oh, it’s you. What do you want?”

Again, she marveled that he could wind up with any woman, much less Elsa Baines. “What do I- hey, listen, I just wanna follow up on how you’re doing. You know, after I saved you from the car?”

No harm in a little guilt. And it did the trick; he dipped his head in shame. “S-sorry about that. What I was doing… I m-mean, you probably want an explan-”

“Birdwatching, right? You had those binoculars.” It was the excuse her parents always gave for his behaviour, which she now knew was a total lie. But she did her best to mask her feelings of disgust. “Accidents happen all the time, my friend.”

“Right.” He smiled very slightly. This was probably the first time any girl had done anything besides curl her lip at him and call him a nerd. “Anyway, I’m doing okay. How about you? I saw you got hit by that car, I w-wanted to help, but… I don’t know, that man was so angry…”

“Yeah, no problem, er… dude.” He gave a hesitant smile. Maybe this slang thing wasn’t as hard as she thought. “Actually, about that. So, the guy who hit me, turns out his daughter goes here. Elsa Baines? And we got chatting, as y'know, us crazy kids do, and she mentioned like… seeing you around the 'hood. I’m just on my way to see her, you should come introduce yourself.”

Whoa, reign it in, Anna. But fortunately he hadn’t seemed to notice her terrible attempt at adapting and blending in. Instead, the color drained from his face. “You’re not gonna tell her about the- the birdwatching, are you? Honest, I just like looking at her – not like that! I didn’t- I fell because I didn’t expect… to see all that. You know. I swear I’ve never looked in a window and seen…”

When he literally got too flustered to speak any further, Anna put her hand on his shoulder. “I won’t tell if you don’t,” she said, fixing him with a steady gaze. “But maybe… don’t do it again?”

He nodded sharply. “Done. Never happen again.”

Well, that wasn’t so hard. Anna wasn’t sure if it was because Kristoff was trying to be noble or whether he was so wussy that he’d agree to anything; either way, it had the desired effect. Turning on her heel, she began walking down the hallway.

Every parent-teacher interview had begun with a 'sightseeing tour’ to her parent’s lockers. At the time, Anna had hated it, though now she was grateful because she at least remembered the vague area where her mother’s was located. Kristoff was quiet for the most part, but when they neared Elsa and her small group of friends, he suddenly became quite nervous. She felt him tug on her elbow, bringing them both to a stop halfway down the hallway. She hadn’t noticed them, and Anna doubted she would if they remained there.

“Is she really… interested in me?” he asked, wide eyes looking at Anna. Not a bad looking guy despite his clothes and haircut. If he had a makeover and a stronger personality, she had no misconceptions that he might be able to get a girl.

She had just started to form an answer, “Of course, you’re a catch!” on her lips, when she was interrupted before she could begin. As it turned out, she had been wrong about how inconspicuous they were.

“Tori?!” Elsa cried, eyes lighting up and a wide smile on her face. She took a step forward, seemed to realise how obvious it was, and then took a step backwards to compensate. “Hey, how are you this morning? How’s your head?”

A reddish hue had already begun to seep into her skin. It was adorable, and it was plain to see that Elsa was the worst closeted queer person Anna had ever laid eyes on. Her heart fell a little as she imagined what small, insignificant thing she would do that might eventually clue her parents in and begin the homophobic rants that all but beat the rainbows out of her. Stupid 80s and their backwards way of thinking.

“Doing great, great. No pain. Anyway… um, this is Kristoff. The boy I saved?”

“Hey,” he said, though that seemed to be all he could get out.

What if she split the difference? Tried to tell a little of the truth without revealing the worst parts. “He was birdwatching, but… I got it out of him that the reason he was by your house is because he keeps trying to work up the courage to… well, y'know.”

But Elsa didn’t know. Or it seemed like she didn’t care, because instead of glancing at him, she walked forward to reach up and gently touch Anna’s bruise. “You’re sure you’re okay, Tori? It’s looking a little black and blue now…”

Suppressing a shiver, Anna stepped backward with a shaky laugh. “Y-yeah, fine! So, um… about Kristoff-”

“I was just telling Ariel and Jasmine about you,” Elsa went on as if there had been no interruption, barely gesturing to each girl as she introduced them. The ginger with the huge blue eyes kept glancing between her friend and the newcomer, equal parts mistrustful and curious. “How brave you were, and how cool you looked. What was that shirt you were wearing? It had, like, guns and roses on it. Pretty rad.”

“O-oh, it’s a band.” At the last second, she caught herself – how old was GNR? “Up- up and coming. Seriously, they’re going to be the next big thing.”

This was not going at all how she wanted. The way Elsa was smiling made it apparent that it was going the way she wanted it to, though. Crud. Anna glanced over Elsa’s shoulder, looking at her friends. The ginger – Ariel, she thought – was brushing a thin comb through her hair. The other was buffing her fingernails and glancing over at Elsa impatiently.

Come to think of it, Elsa hadn’t really mentioned her friends last night, which got Anna curious. Leaning forward, voice lowering to a whisper, she asked, “Do your friends… know?”

Elsa didn’t seem to understand at first; when it finally clicked, she looked like she was about to have a heart attack. She finally looked at Kristoff of her own accord, desperate for a distraction; he was looking at his shoes and trying to make himself seem smaller than he was – a feat in itself.

She didn’t even need to answer, because that was telling enough. It was probably stupid to remind Elsa of her burgeoning sexuality, because she looked like she wanted to step even closer.

“Of course they know about you.” Oh God. “I was telling them how my dad hit you with his car –

how brave it was for you to save your friend Christopher from the car.”

“Kristoff,” Kristoff interjected, head lifting for a second. Elsa completely ignored him.

“Right, Kristoff,” Anna said. Back on task. “He really wanted to get to know you, but wasn’t sure how. Because obviously, you look so hella rad.” Seeing their blank faces, she went on, “Rad. Just rad. Sorry.”

At that point, Elsa finally looked at him for longer than a half-second, but unfortunately he had chosen that moment to glance over his shoulder at a noise that had come from down that hallway. Like a scared little mouse. 'Great going, Dad,’ she thought with a wince.

“Well, it’s good to meet him. And to see you, Victoria. I really… I want us to hang out more.”

“Great! Then we’ll hang out more! Right, Ariel, Jasmine? Kris?”

The girls nodded immediately, but she had to nudge her father before he started and yelped, “SURE! S-sure, yeah, it sounds great. I’d love to, um, out-hang.”

Just at that moment, the bell rang. Elsa’s friends gave her a nudge, but moved past her. Kristoff was already at the other end of the hallway before it had even finished ringing. This was going to be harder than she thought.

Turning away, she was only a little surprised to see Elsa still standing there. She hadn’t noticed at first, but Elsa probably looked even better than yesterday. So much denim – but she wore it well.

“Uh, aren’t you gonna be late for class?”

Instead of answering, Elsa bit her lip. Her eyes were wide, and her fingers twitched like she wanted something but was too scared to ask. It only took Anna a moment to figure out what: when she opened her arms a little, uncertain, it took Elsa less than that to throw herself into the hug.

As terrible an idea as it seemed, Anna couldn’t bring herself to cut it short. Not when she’d been craving such a thing from her mother for so many years: genuine love and affection. Denying her would only mean denying herself.

“I’m so happy you’re here,” Elsa breathed. “I was afraid that after last night, you'd… y'know?”

“I would what?” Maybe Anna didn’t want to know; the idea hurt. That she would abandon Elsa after finding out that she was queer. But maybe Elsa had been through that once before.

“Never mind,” Elsa whispered, pulling back and squeezing her hands. “Um, I’d better get to class; I’d cut, but Weselton always jumps out from behind a rock to catch us. Like our own personal Snidley Whiplash.”

Though she had no idea who that was, Anna nodded and patted her upper arm. “Sure, yeah. See you after class?”

“Yeah, of course.” Elsa hesitated, then leapt forward to ghost her lips over Anna’s cheek. “And thanks, for um… for keeping my little secret.”

“Our little secret,” Anna corrected automatically, before realising that she maybe shouldn’t do that. But it was too late; Elsa was already skipping off to class, jean jacket and braid bouncing in her wake. Anna just stared after her, all the way until she disappeared around the corner.

She also shrieked when Doc came up behind her. She’d completely forgotten that he even existed. He ignored her shriek, naturally.

“Astounding,” he was saying. “Your mother didn’t even spare him a glance. And that look in her eyes… well, the very fact that no one has figured out her sensibilities is an utter mystery.”

“Oh god Doc, what are we gonna do?”

But for that question, neither had a suitable answer. They began making their slow way out of the school, brainstorming aloud to each other.

“What do kids even do in the Eighties? That uh… hoop with the stick? Jumping jacks?”

“Please, Future Girl,” Doc said. “Those were out of style before even I was a boy. No, we need something…intimate. A social event with no expectations. One where they can get to know each other and have a good time at a somewhat leisurely pace. Currently your mother has no emotional opinion about your father. That needs to change.”

“Well, I did say we should all hang out. Maybe go to the mall? And that way, I can start kind of, um, pushing them together.” Never mind that she felt guilty about doing that now. Clearly, Elsa was more interested in women, and even if she were going to go for a guy, Kristoff was a terrible candidate.

“That will work for a start.” Sighing, he patted her shoulder. “This situation is an unprecedented conundrum, and I don’t envy you. But this is of paramount importance. I want you to stay here and keep an eye on those two, while I go back to the lab and work on the DeLorean’s starter. I can’t take it to an actual DMC dealership with all those components on it, so I’ll be doing the work myself, and I’m a scientist, not a mechanic.”

Nodding, she turned back toward the school. “Good luck, Doc. I'm… well, I’ll do what I can with what I got, I guess. Just hope this doesn’t explode in my face.”

~ o ~

For the rest of the day, Anna skulked around Dell Valley High, trying to figure out how to do anything to influence the outcome of her parents’ relationship. Nothing doing. While in classes, she couldn’t even get in there without arousing the suspicion of the teachers, so she was restricted to time between classes, and lunch.

During lunch was when she ran into the biggest, meatiest roadblock of all: Hans.

She was sitting across from Kristoff, picking off his fries and trying to convince him to make the first move in inviting the girls to 'chill out’.

“I dunno. I want to but- well what if they say no?” he asked. “I couldn’t take that kind of rejection…”

Anna could understand that – it was why, despite the fact that she knew Jennifer was into her, she hadn’t been able to work up the courage to actually ask her out. Still, him mousing around wasn’t going to get them anywhere, and she only had a week to keep herself from vanishing.

“Trust me,” Anna began. “Once she gets to know you, it’ll be true love! But you gotta stop wimping out.”

“I know, I know. I just can’t help it. Anyway, I’m pretty sure she’s interested in someone else.”

Anna’s blood ran cold. How could he know? Did someone tell him? Clearing her throat, she asked in a very small, obviously fearful voice, “…Who?”

“Hah, who else?” He lifted a hand, still staring at his notebook, and pointed at her – no, wait. Somewhere behind her. “Hans.”

When Anna glanced over her shoulder, she saw Hans was indeed chatting up Elsa. Not that Elsa was the least bit interested. She actually looked incredibly annoyed, if her scowl and hunched shoulders meant anything. For now, it was just talking, but she already knew that Hans wasn’t above getting a little physical.

“Read some social cues, buddy,” she told Kristoff flatly. “She’d rather kick him under a bus than go out with him.”

“That’s not really my, um, field of expertise,” he went on as he bent low over his notebook, scratching out a line and beginning to write something above it.

“God, what are you doing that’s so much more important than your dream girl?” Snatching the notebook, she squinted at it…

And her jaw dropped in shock. All she had to do was read the line 'She put down the laser rifle and reached for his fur-clad hand’ before she got the picture – which was just as well, because then the notebook was being snatched right back out of her hand.

“HEY! That’s n-not something I let just anybody read, you know!”

“Kristoff… wow, you write fanfiction?”

But the term seemed to catch him off guard – which was at least enough to cut through his flash of anger. Pushing his greasy locks out of his eyes, he asked, “Fan… what? Do you mean, um, fantasy fiction? I’m more of a science fiction guy… b-but anyway, sorry, I’m just not ready to let anybody read this stuff.”

That was interesting. Mainly because her father had literally never said a single word about writing. All her entire life, he only complained about work, doted on his alcoholic wife, and chatted about TV or movies. Other subjects were much more incidental, and never once included that he had a love of the written word; sure, he read, but he never talked about what he read… and Anna hadn’t been interested, anyway.

Maybe the rift between her and her parents wasn't entirely their fault.

“Oh. Well, um… I’m sorry. But hey, maybe you could come back to your furry boy and his laser-chick after we take care of Baines over there, right?”

“I don’t know why you care so much,” he sighed. But then he frowned over her shoulder. “And anyway, it seems to be going fine between them.”

Of course, that was the moment that Elsa’s voice rang clear through the cafeteria, “Get lost, Hans!”

He didn’t. If anything, he got closer. The whole room had become quiet – not silent, but the noise was low enough that now Anna could actually hear what he was saying.

“Aww, c'mon babe. You don’t want the school thinking you’re a dyke, do you?”

That got her. Anna could see Elsa crumple. Her heart still swelled with pride when Elsa still stood up for herself, despite how much the words had cut her down.

“I said no, Hans. Now get. Lost.”

Clearly, he wasn’t taking the hint. “Listen you little–”

Anna moved. Hans was even more of a gross pig here than he was in the future and he was not getting away with it; she would have done the same for any woman, even if they weren’t as important to her as her mother was. Jumping up, she stalked over to them. Elsa noticed her first, a smile replacing the frown. “Tori!”

“Alright, Fuckboy McDouche,” Anna began. Of course that was when Hans noticed her. Standing to his full height, he made for an impressively intimidating feature.

“What did you call me?”

“You heard me!” Then she noticed everyone surrounding them shared his look of confusion. Oh, right; era-appropriate lingo. “Um jerk-face. Yeah! She said to leave her alone, you jerk!”

Oh crud. He took a step forward, hand curling into a fist in front of her. Then, without any obvious reason why he should, he stopped.

“Excuse me?” Mr Weselton had his arms over his chest, bad toupee still wobbling even though he had come to a stop. “Am I to understand that you have reached a new low, even for you, Tannen? Winding up to punch a girl half your size?”

Hans switched gears immediately, smiling that slippery, conniving smile of his as he patted Anna on the shoulder. “Sorry, Teach. I was merely going to remind this girl that she shouldn’t call people names. Part of my civic duty.”

“If you’ve ever actually stayed awake through a civics class, Tannen, I’ll eat my boots. Now, release the girl before you wind up in detention.”

She almost hoped he would do it. Hoped he would punch her, and then end up in detention – or even better, give her an excuse to punch him back. All those years, listening to him make lewd comments about her mother, watching him push her father around…

“Right, right.” He leaned in just a little more, saying through gritted teeth, “Sorry.” Then he was turning and striding away, his trio of idiot friends cackling and pounding him on the back.

“Tori…” Even as the crowd was breaking up, as Weselton was stalking after them, all Anna could see was Elsa, rising from the bench and away from her two friends, who were staring at Anna as if she had literally stepped out of a Jet Li movie. Or was it Bruce Lee in the 80s?

“H-hey, don’t mention it,” Anna muttered as Elsa grasped both of her hands. Then a spark of an idea came to her; embellishing the truth slightly. “Actually, it was Kristoff who noticed first. I’d never have seen it happening if he wasn’t so worried about you.”

However, on the subject of her father, all Elsa had to say was, “Who?”

THAT didn’t bode well.

“Oh, y'know, Kristoff…” Her voice trailed off when she turned back and Kristoff…wasn’t there anymore. He had beaten a hasty retreat when he could see a fight was about to break out. And Elsa was distracted, anyway.

“That was really brave of you, Tori. No one’s ever stood up to Hans before!”

“Well maybe they should. He’s only gonna get worse, right?”

Neither had a chance to say anything more because Elsa’s friends swiftly came up to them. One of them offered Anna a smile and gushed, “Dude, that was pretty wicked!” It was small consolation when Anna’s plans to get her parents making babies kept failing, but hey – at least she wasn’t unpopular in the 80s. That had to stand for something. What was the term? She wasn’t a square.

“Thanks, babes,” she said, cocking her head and pointing a fingergun at them like an overconfident dudebro. They laughed, which seemed to be a good sign. “We’re all hanging out tonight, right? At… Twin Pines Mall?”

“For sure!” Elsa spoke for them. As if they would argue with her, given the interest of the other two girls and their clearly 'beta’ mentality. Her mom was the leader of the pack, alright.

“Sweet!” Another weird silence. “Sweet… of you to agree! With me! Right?”

Luckily, one of Elsa’s friends jumped in. “We could see that new Death Wish, or the new Freddy sequel?”

“To Live and Die in L.A.!” the other friend whined. They all rolled their eyes; apparently, this had been discussed before and nobody else was interested.

“Yeah, sure! Why not?” Anna knew absolutely nothing about any of those. Why were all the 80s movies so violent-sounding? Shaking that off, she pulled Elsa aside to talk to her alone.

“Hey… listen. I know this might be a little weird…”

“What?”

“Kristoff.” When Elsa only frowned, she went on, “He’s kinda nervous around you, because he likes you so much. So just… I know it might be a lot to ask-”

“Don’t bite his head off?” she guessed with a slight smirk. When Anna shrugged, Elsa nodded. “Okay, okay. I’ll try to be nice to the nerd burger, but I can’t pretend that you’re not a lot more… tubular.”

“O-oh.” Oh wow. Even Punz had never been so forward – and that wasn’t even really all that forward anyway!

But the worst part was, Anna couldn’t blame Elsa. Not about the liking her part, shocking as it was, but about the not-liking-Kristoff part. As sad as it was, she was starting to see why her family hadn’t felt like one for a long time. Why maybe her mother didn’t seem to like her children, let alone herself. The jigsaw pieces were falling into place: Grandma Baines, the accident, the lack of options…

If Anna had grown up in 1980s instead of the 2000s, she’d probably try and 'pray the gay away’, too. Settle for the first guy who came along who wasn’t Hans. Elsa’s only choice had been to conceal her feelings and play the role of the straight woman she most certainly was not. Forever.

“Elsa,” Anna said, voice barely a whisper. She noticed Elsa’s friends lean in a little closer, so taking a risk, she grabbed Elsa’s hand, leading her even further away. This wasn’t going to be easy… “Look, you can’t say things like that, okay?”

Elsa’s whole face fell at that simple sentence. “I don’t- what?”

Sighing, Anna gritted her teeth and looked away. This situation was so impossible! Here was Anna, a pretty girl straight out of her queer mother’s fantasy. How could she encourage Elsa to be herself while keeping herself out of reach?

Fortunately for her, she was saved from trying to speak when the bell rang – she’d never been so grateful for a lunch break to be over.

“I um, I have phys ed,” Elsa offered, when Anna didn’t say anything. Her head was bowed, and she tried to push past Anna- but her conscience wouldn’t let her allow that.

“Elsa, wait.” She did stop, and Anna let out a sigh. “I do care about you. This is just really… sudden. Like I said, I have a girl back home, and… and I don’t know. But you’re definitely a hella- I mean, a wicked… rad… cool girl. Okay?”

Finally, Elsa looked up. She offered a tight smile, but at least it was a smile. “Don’t worry. I’ll totally be fine. I’ll uh, I’ll see you at the mall?” she asked softly.

There was such hope in her voice. And- well, it couldn’t make it worse, could it?

“Sure,” Anna said with a beaming grin she didn’t fully feel. “I’ll be there.”

Smile relaxing slightly, her future mother touched her wrist in an affectionate gesture, and headed off to the gym. Leaving her future daughter wanting to pull her own hair out.