I was eating at a Chinese restaurant last night, and one of my old friends, now a hockey player, walked in with a couple of his friends. He came right up to me and gave me a big hug, telling me how good I looked. After I sat down, I could hear his friends telling him “Dude, she’s FAT!” but he just grinned and said, “And you’re a douchewad, but that doesn’t stop me from being your friend, does it? Besides, she’s healthy and happy, and that’s more than I can say for your lazy, single ass.”

He tore into his friend for a good ten minutes before the guy walked over and apologized. I’m glad I have such good friends!