In case you've been busying yourself with watching mid-90s rugby league promos in an effort to avoid reading what a trainwreck Parramatta is, I'll get you up to speed.

Mitchell Moses is grumpy. Jarryd Hayne, the prodigal son? Yeah, that's worked out well.

Brad Arthur is doing his best to keep morale high despite the Eels’ dreadful start to the season but he is fighting a losing battle.

I’m hearing the blueing between players is only intensifying as they attempt to arrest a five-game losing streak.

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The Hayne Plane is steering clear of the drama for once, but the names Corey Norman and Mitchell Moses regularly appear from those texting me inside information.

They are not getting on like halves should and it appears the sooner Norman is shown the door, the better for all concerned.

But, the proposed player swap between the Eels and the Raiders is in grave danger of collapsing.

There has been talk of a player exchange for over a week, with Canberra’s Junior Paulo going to the Eels and Norman going the other way.

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But player swaps are rare - they are complicated deals involving two players, two coaches, two managers and two chief executives.

For them to all tick off on a deal is difficult and I’m hearing all the parties aren’t happy with the proposed swap and it is unlikely to go ahead.

In theory, it was win-win for both parties - the Eels are desperate for another big body up front and Ricky Stuart isn’t happy with his playmakers at Canberra.

But unless something changes, both clubs will have to go back to the drawing board - and look elsewhere for answers.

DES HASLER'S LOVE AFFAIR WITH AARON

There are a few grumblings at Canterbury over the early season form of Aaron Woods.

The former Tigers skipper has hardly set the world alight since arriving at Belmore and many insiders are asking why the club shelled out so much money for him.

I will give you the answer in two words: Des Hasler.

He wanted Woods badly and stopped at nothing to get him.

I wonder if Dean Pay would have made the same decision?

HOW THE TIMES HAVE CHANGED

Did you hear about the player who wanted to withdraw from a recent match because his relationship ended?

Imagine trying to pull that stunt in the 70s or 80s!!