MONTREAL – Flights were delayed at Pierre Elliot Trudeau Airport after Green Party Leader Elizabeth May insisted the Air Canada flight she was travelling on remove both left and right wings to avoid mixed messages.

“We’re not left wing. We’re not right wing. There are no wings with the Green Party,” said May from Seat 16B on an Air Canada A320 flight to Vancouver. “Nothing will get in our way of uniting Canadians, not even aerodynamics or Bernoulli’s Principle.”

A further request was made by May for the fuselage to come apart in mid-air to accommodate candidates who favour Quebec’s immediate independence.

Ms May also demanded that the pilots fly in a straight line for the duration of the flight so they remain “forward together.”

At press time, an exhausted Green Party Twitter account was busy trying clarifying what May said.