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Welcome to the Dick Show, the show where everything is a contest.

Everything dies suddenly, even when you know it’s coming. I spend the first 15 minutes of the show addressing the end of the Biggest Problem in the Universe in the only way I know how: sarcastic rhetorical questions. TBPITU was the Seinfeld of Podcasts. Hundreds of emails of shock, sadness, fury, and support this week have proven the success of a show can never be replicated–but goddammit, we’re going to try! The race is on to see who will be the new Curb Your Enthusiasm and who will be The Michael Richards Laugh Factory meltdown.

The most important part of a podcast is the co-host. To that end, I begin my exhaustive search for the perfect new co-host, starting with Allegra Ringo, writer for Vice, co-host of Can I Pet Your Dog, and infamous liberal feminist. It’s the ultimate odd couple! Allegra weighs in on conference calls, bringing your own water, and what she loves most about Donald Trump. She also tries to convince me that I was sexually assaulted in Mexico last weekend.

I talk about Mexico last weekend. Also, Bono calls in!

Does Allegra have what it takes to be my new co-host? As always, it’s up to you the listeners. Cast your vote below and check out The Dick Show Patreon for more bonus content than your internet can handle. Warning: you’ll probably get overage fees because the jokes are so hot.

Thanks to wauterboi for the bitchin theme song, Allegra Ringo for bravely appearing on the show as a pilgrim in an unholy land, and of course to every single one of you for supporting The Dick Show.

Welcome to a brave new world of bullshit.

Image Credit:

Mexican flag

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