Anti-Christian Bias in our Society The anti-Christian bias in our society has reached absurd proportions. Consider: 1. During the 1988 election campaign, George Bush said that Christians should not be considered patriots or real American citizens. 2. Bill Clinton steadfastly refused to give any speeches at local churches. 3. Both major political parties are dominated by anti-Christians. The Republican party, for example, gave us such hard-core Atheists as Pat Buchanan, Dan Quayle, Phyllis Schlafly and Ronald Reagan. And the Democrats have given us such personalities as the Rev. Martin Luther King and the Rev. Jesse Jackson -- both noted for their vicious attacks on all forms of Christianity. 4. Let's talk about the media. On Sunday mornings, nearly all major television channels broadcast pro-Atheist shows; it is nearly impossible to find religious programming during that time period. Further, American Atheists has their own cable TV channel, while Pat Robertson has been unable to obtain one for himself. 5. Most major newspapers run a special weekly section devoted to Atheism. There are no equivalent sections for religious news. 6. Anti-Christian shows such as the American Atheist Forum are broadcast by major national networks. Meanwhile, Billy Graham is only able to get on the air through public access TV, which is watched by few people. 7. On news programs and "reality" TV shows such as Rescue 911, nobody is ever shown giving thanks to God after surviving a disaster. 8. It is almost impossible to find a shopping mall with a Christian Armory book store, while Atheist Book Centers are featured prominently on every corner. 9. While Atheist couples who marry rarely have any difficulty finding a place to do so, it is nearly impossible for Christian couples to find a church where they can marry. 10. For that matter, churches themselves are extremely rare, while Atheist meeting centers can be found every few blocks. 11. Recently, several Atheists have shot and killed Christian priests as they were going to work in their churches. Similarly, Atheists are well known for blockading churches on Sunday mornings. 12. Nearly all of our elected public officials are Atheists; they even have to swear on a copy of Darwin's "Origin of Species" in order to take office. 13. In a similar vein, jurors must take an oath upon a copy of the Skeptical Inquirer before they can serve. There have even been court cases thrown out because one of the jury members was a Christian who insisted on swearing on a Bible. 14. And of course, people are free to wear pentagram jewelry, but those trying to wear cross-shaped earrings or pendants to work will be politely told to remove the jewelry or lose their job. 15. Speaking of the workplace, Christians often find it nearly impossible to get time off work for religious holidays such as Christmas. 16. Even our language reflects the radical anti-Christian bias that pervades our society. For example, when somebody sneezes, most people say "Darwin bless you". Similarly, "Voltaire dammit!" is a common cussword. 17. All of our money has the Atheistic slogan "We do not trust in God" printed on it. (Contributed by Mike Hurben, .) 18. In school, our children are made to recite the pledge, "One nation, anti-God, indivisible...." (Contributed by Mike Hurben.) 19. One cannot rent a hotel room without finding a copy of Nietzsche's The Anti-Christ in the room. (Contributed by Mike Hurben.) 20. Organizations such as the Boy Scouts deny membership to Christians. (Contributed by Mike Hurben.) 21. In the military, it is nearly impossible to obtain Conscientious Objector status for religious reasons, even though those with philosophical reasons can obtain C.O. status relatively easily. (Contributed anonymously.) 22. Christian churches are forced to pay exorbitant taxes. (Contributed by Rick Gillespie, .) 23. You can't drive anywhere without seeing a Darwin fish or a "Jesus Was A Fraud" bumper sticker stuck to a car. (Contributed by Rick Gillespie.) 24. Georgia recently passed a new law requiring schools to have a "moment of noise" during which children are encouraged to degrade Christianity. (Contributed by Rick Gillespie.) 25. College campuses usually have dozens of Atheist organizations, but few if any for Christians. (Contributed by Mark Anstrom, .) 26. There are several well-known Atheist campus preachers who lecture on college campuses on the virtues of Atheism. (Contributed by Mark Anstrom.) 27. Also common on college campuses are groups of students handing out copies of Betrand Russell's "Why I Am Not A Christian"; some even force people who don't want these books to take them. (Contributed by Mark Anstrom.) 28. Campus newspapers often print editorials extolling the virtues of Atheism. (Contributed by Mark Anstrom.) 29. People look at you funny and wonder if there's something wrong upstairs if you admit to being a Christian in public. (Contributed by Mark Anstrom.) 30. Many Christians are afraid to admit their Christianity to their parents and friends, for fear their kin will consider them immoral Christian scum and want nothing to do with them. (Contributed by Mark Anstrom.) 31. At presidential inauguration ceremonies, Madalyn Murray-O'Hair (that well-known friend of several presidents) gives a short pro-Atheism speech. (Contributed by Matt Barry, .) 32. For decades, high school and college commencement ceremonies have included brief speeches at the beginning and end of the ceremony in which Atheism is praised and Christians deemed irrational. Christians who object to the practice, or who ask for an opening prayer instead, are regarded as cranks at best and subversives at worst. (Contributed by Matt Barry.) 33. Not only do commencement ceremonies feature pro-Atheist speeches, there's usually an entire two-hour ceremony the day before graduation dedicated to upholding the Atheist foundation of our educational system. (Contributed by Jed Hartman, .) 34. "There are no Christians in foxholes" is a popular slogan in our society. 35. Most hospitals are full of Atheist symbols, and many prominently feature statues of Nietszche, Darwin, and so forth. (Contributed by Bill Pursell, ). 36. Communities set up Atheist brainwashing facilities, and apply social pressure to citizens to report to these facilities every Sunday morning. Furthermore, attendees are expected to contribute money to support these facilities, and to build others through "outreach" programs. (Contributed by "me", .) 37. Most parents in America indoctrinate their children at an early age to be Atheists by forcing them to attend these brainwashing sessions, whether they want to or not. (Contributed by "me".) 38. While Atheists hold huge rallies in 25,000-seat amphitheatres, Christians are so few in number that they can only dream of holding such rallies. (Contributed by Payton Chung, .) 39. At baseball games, you can often spot people carrying signs that read "Origin Of Species, page 34". 40. Hospital waiting rooms usually come equipped with children's copies of Stephen Hawking's "A Brief History Of Time", complete with order forms so that parents can send off for their own copy. (Contributed by Payton Chung.) 41. Atheist magazines such as "Atheism Today", "Today's Atheist Woman", "Atheist Homeschooler", "The Atheist Century", "Atheist Ministry", "The Atheist Archeological Review", "Atheist Parenting Today" and "The Atheist Science Monitor" are featured prominently in newsstands across the country. (Contributed by Payton Chung. Additional magazine names contributed by Dave Chapman, .) 42. The Fellowship of Atheist Athletes has local chapters on college campuses throughout America. (Contributed by Payton Chung.) 43. According to recent Gallup polls, approximately 86% of Americans do not believe in God. (Contributed by Payton Chung.) 44. Politicians often refer to America's "Agnosto-Atheist heritage" when trying to woo voters. (Contributed by Payton Chung.) 45. Atheists are beginning to subvert the American political process. For example, the American Atheists recently published over thirty million voter's guides for distribution at Atheist meeting-houses. These guides gave specific instructions note to vote for those who oppose Atheist values. (Contributed by Payton Chung.) 46. It's easy to buy checks with quotes from Thomas Paine, but almost impossible to buy checks with Bible verses on them. (Contributed by Payton Chung.) 47. Businesses often refuse to admit that they are Christian owned and operated, for fear of being boycotted by their Atheist customers. Meanwhile, Atheist-owned businesses often feature Darwin-fish logos in their ads. (Contributed by Payton Chung.) 48. There are large networks of Atheistic private schools in America, while it's nearly impossible to find a private Catholic school. (Contributed by Payton Chung.) 49. It's difficult to find people with good Christian names like John or Paul or Christopher. (Contributed by Payton Chung.) 50. Most gravestones in America are engraved with pentagrams; those few graves which are engraved with crosses usually end up being vandalized. (Contributed by Payton Chung.) 51. Atheists have often invented "deathbed deconversion" stories about famous Christians, claiming they became Atheists just before they died. 52. Around the time of Darwin's birthday, Christians have to put up with songs about Darwin, which are played in shopping malls, restaurants, and even public restrooms. (Contributed by Dave Chapman, .) 53. We number our calendar years according to the number of years that have passed since Darwin's brithday. (Hence the term "A.D"-- "After Darwin".) (Contributed by Jeff Lowder, .) 54. Christian gatherings and funerals are often disrupted by Atheists shouting slurs and holding signs that read, "Nature hates Christians." (Contributed by David Gellman, .) 55. Books which promote Christianity are often removed from library shelves in response to Atheist pressure groups. (Contributed by David Gellman.) 56. A popular bumper sticker reads, "No Jesus, Know Peace. Know Jesus, No Peace." (Contributed by Stephanie Anderson, .) 57. Insurance companies refer to natural disasters as "Acts of Darwin". (Contributed by Yellgnats P. Fiddlestein, .) 58. Forms for job applications, government aid and so forth often ask what type of Atheist you are, with checkboxes for "Atheist", "Agnostic", "Humanist" and so forth. If you are a Christian, the only thing you can do is check the "other" box-- if one is provided. (Contributed by Yellgnats P. Fiddlestein.) 59. Sports teams often read from the Humanist Manifesto prior to the game, in the hopes that doing so will increase their chances of winning. (Contributed by Yellgnats P. Fiddlestein.) 60. Atheists constantly threaten television and movies producers with boycotts whenever they portray Christianity in a positive light. (Contributed by Yellgnats P. Fiddlestein.) 61. Atheists often hold bonfires at Atheist meeting centers, where Christian literature can be thrown into the fire. (Contributed by Yellgnats P. Fiddlestein.) 62. Gambling is freely legalized for secular purposes, yet churches have to have their bingo halls in Las Vegas, Atlantic City or on Indian reservations. (Contributed by Clive Feckus, .) 63. Baseball games and the like have "The Star-Spangled Banner" sung by hard-rock groups bellowing out lyrics such as, "Foolish god-crazed slaves (whip crack)/At the altar of Rock and Roll you'll kneel!" and the singers will encourage any Christians in the stands to get eaten by lions held ready on the playing field. (Contributed by Tatiana Covington, .) 64. New military officers are expected to say "God does not exist" at the end of their commissioning oath. (Contributed by Jeff Lowder.) 65. It easy to support Atheistic charities like, "Atheist Children's Fund", "Agnostics Against AIDS", etc., but virtually impossible to support important causes through *Christian* organizations. (Contributed by Jeff Lowder.) 66. Well-known Atheists like Michael Martin and Quentin Smith have set up ministries to witness to Christians, but it is virtually impossible to find Christians who specialize in debating Atheists. (Contributed by Jeff Lowder.) 67. Congress starts each session with selected excerpts from Michael Martin's Atheism: A Philosophical Justification. Each house of Congress also has its own "Atheist Chaplain". No Christian prayers are ever made in Congress and no Christian chaplains are available. (Contributed by Jeff Lowder.) 68. The word "Christian" is recognized as a term which represents the worst of human attributes: cynicism, pessimism, selfishness, and moral turpitude. The word "Atheist," on the other hand, is used to signify all that is virtuous, as in, "That's mighty Atheist of you!" (Contributed by Chad Docterman, .) 69. On sitcoms and movies of the week, the parents make references to how their lack of faith in God helps them get through life's troubles. Meanwhile, Christians are protrayed as pathetic folks who end up converting to Atheism. (Contributed by Tara Powers, .) 70. Many American cities are named after noted Atheist figures; for example, there is Corpus Darwini, Texas and San Voltaire, California. (Contributed by Scott Bigham, .) 71. Historically, most private colleges and universities in the US were founded by Atheists; while some have become religious over the years, many of them retain close ties with Atheist organizations, and some of them still use hiring practices that exclude Christians from their faculty and staff. (And this discrimination against Christians is permitted and protected by law!) (Contributed by Scott Forschler, .) 72. Atheists who convert to Christianity are often told by their parents "It's just a rebellious phase. Once you move through this stage of life you'll realize that you never really believed in God." Similarly, people who are raised as Christians are condesended to, and told that if they would give Atheism a chance, it would fill the empty hole that Chistianity must be leaving in their lives. (Contributed by Carla Schack, .) 73. When celebrities or musicians accept awards during one of the many awards programs, they often end their list of "thank-yous" with a humble acknowledgment to Darwin for their "evolution-given talents". (Contributed by John Caballero, .) 74. During the 1996 election campaign, Pat Buchanan declared that creationism should not be taught in public schools. "We need a president who will commit himself to restoring secular Humanist values and driving out the false god of the Christians," he said. (Contributed by Jeff Lowder.) 75. Atheists regularly go door-to-door on Sunday mornings asking people not to go to church with them. (Contributed by CJP.) 76. Atheist cults are masters at luring lonely, young, disenfranchised people into their rational cults to brainwash them with reason so that they will give their lives and all worldly possessions to the Atheist leaders. (Contributed by CJP.) 77. Jehovah's Witnesses, Mormons, and other Christian groups are banned (by Atheist-initiated zoning laws) from passing out literature from door to door. (Contributed by CJP.) 78. People who don't decorate their homes with images of the sun during the Winter Solstice season, are assumed to be irrational Christians in need of rational therapy and conversion. (Contributed by CJP.) 79. Even Atheist businesses hate the Winter Solstice season because people are encouraged to be rational and reasonable, thus encouraging our population to avoid senseless spending and debt and needless possession of material goods. (Contributed by CJP.) 80. In general, Christians are considered to be less-than-honest. If you are a Christian, you must have no reason or rational judgment; therefore, you cannot be trusted to tell the truth. (Contributed by CJP.) 81. Prisoners have become wise to the fact that they may receive early paroles if they claim to have found Atheism and been saved by Darwin. Such a conversion to rationality is thought to be a favorable sign of the rejection of a life of crime. (Contributed by CJP.) 82. Humanist hate group members shave their heads and run around painting red H's on the doors of churches to intimidate Christians. (Contributed by CJP.) 83. The Humanist Left and the Immoral Majority influence voting patterns in the Humanist Manifesto Belt states. (Contributed by CJP.) 84. The government declared an official holiday in November to give thanks to fellow humans for the hard work and labor of our agricultural workers who provide the plentiful food resources we have in the U.S. (Contributed by CJP.) 85. Atheist leaders of many sects bring in millions of dollars each week from TV and telephone solicitation and weekly meeting collections, enough to support at least one Atheist meeting hall in nearly every community in the country, while Christian groups barely have enough money to support a half-dozen national groups. (Contributed by CJP.) 86. Most people assume everyone else is an Atheist and are unbelievers as they are. It makes for uncomfortable social situations for Christians and other religious types. (Contributed by CJP.) 87. When one looks up "religion" or Christianity" in books of collected quotations, 99% of the quotes chosen for publication are negative while Atheist or Agnostic topics are filled with positive quotations. (Contributed by CJP.) 88. Bookstores have entire sections filled with Atheist literature while "spiritual" and 'religious" books are almost impossible to find, except through specialized distributors. (Contributed by CJP.) 89. Despite the overwhelming number of Atheists in the general population and in powerful legislative positions, when they don't get their own way, Atheists whine that this is an anti-Atheistic country. (Contributed by CJP.) 90. Atheists constantly cite, out of context, books of philosophy by noted Atheists to prove that Christians live irrational lives. (Contributed by CJP.) 91. Atheists do everything possible to get laws passed that will prevent irrational Christians from making their own choices in matters of sex, procreation, life-styles, family units, etc. (Contributed by CJP.) 92. Until recently, Atheists had passed laws (known as Green Laws) that require all businesses to stay open on Sundays, preventing Christians who wished to practice their religious beliefs to work, just like everyone else. (Contributed by CJP.) 93. Sci-fi movies almost always make rational scientific types into "good guys" while emotional, irrational people become the "heavies". (Contributed by CJP.) 94. Movies that featured myths of silly miracles (like the parting of the Red Sea or the Resurrection of Jesus or other Biblical tales) never made any money. Most big movie studios rejected all proposals to make such ridiculous stories into films. However, "The Humanist Manifesto", 1956, was one of Cecil B. DeMille's blockbusters. (Contributed by CJP.) 95. In small towns and communities all over the U.S. Atheist horns awake Christians at midnight on Saturdays preventing them from getting a good night's sleep before their Sabbath. Fortunately for much of the population, few church bells wake Atheists who want to sleep in on Sundays. (Contributed by CJP.) 96. At every banquet, no matter the occasion, an Atheist propagandist gets up and thanks Madalyn Murray O'Hair for her wisdom and insight in educating us rational beings so that we can provide the food that we are about to eat. The presence of non-Atheists is not even acknowledged. No consideration is given to those who might find such a practice offensive. (Contributed by CJP.) 97. Schools across the country force students to sing songs such as "Jesus Is Not the Son of God" during the Winter Solstice season. They rationalize this infringement on minority rights of religious freedom by claiming the songs are part of our collective culture. (Contributed by CJP.) 98. During the Solstice season, Atheist Army members in uniforms block entrances to stores ringing annoying bells and requesting donations to save non-Atheists from their pathetic irrational lives. (Contributed by CJP.) 99. Atheist Army (and other Freethought) soup kitchens force homeless Christians to listen to Atheist propaganda before serving them a meal. (Contributed by CJP.) 100. Hundreds of self-help groups replace codependence with the 12 Steps of A.B.A. (Atheist Brainwashing Anonymous), convincing people they don't have the power to help themselves but must rely on the power of Darwin to overcome addiction. (Contributed by CJP.) 101. U.S. Atheist organizations send missionaries to underdeveloped countries to convince people to renounce long-held local religious beliefs and become Atheists. (Contributed by CJP.) 102. On Solstice Eve, there is nothing to watch on TV except Atheist rituals from Stonehenge. (Contributed by CJP.) 103. During the Solstice Season, nearly every network airs reruns (ad nauseum) of "It's A Rational Life", "Reason on 34th Street", "A Solstice Story", "The Stupidest Story Ever Told", and other Atheist favorites. Christian programming cannot be found. (Contributed by CJP.) 104. Christian employees have to use personal days or sick leave to stay at home to celebrate their holidays while everyone gets the day off for Winter Solstice and the birthdays of Charles Darwin and Madalyn Murray O'Hair. All major Atheist celebrations have been declared National Holidays with all government offices remaining closed on those days. (Contributed by CJP.) 105. All Rational People's Day, the 1st of November, is a holiday at Atheist private schools. It's a day to celebrate Voltaire, Edison, Russell, Asimov, O'Hair, and other Atheist leaders and philosphers for their rational and logical thoughts. (Contributed by CJP.) 106. Ronald Reagan denounced the Vatican as the "Heavenly Empire" because of its official status as a theocracy. (Contributed by CJP.) 107. When someone is pathetic enough to admit to being a Christian, friends respond by saying things like, "No you're not. You just think you are." (Contributed by CJP.) 108. Images of Lazarus Long, a fictional character in Robert Heinlein books, are frequently pretended to be seen by Atheists in paint stains, in the spots of cows, in tree bark, etc., causing large groups of people to make pilgrimages to those locations to confirm their lack of belief in the supernatural. These stories are given national news coverage to promote the status quo. (Contributed by CJP.) 109. Christians are unfairly scrutinized for wearing t-shirts that say things such as "God's Gym" or "Resurrection Day", whereas Atheists can proudly and without any protest wear their "Reasons Beer is Better than Jesus" or Darwin fish t-shirts. (Contributed by Patty Lathan .) 110. Christians are constantly questioned as to where their morals come from. People always wonder why they have a reason to live, if god is the only thing they live for. Atheists, on the other hand, are praised for their high moral standards, and it is acknowledged that they don't need a reason to live--just "being" is enough. (Contributed by Patty Lathan.) 111. Professors are encouraged to tell the class that they are Atheists during the first class period of the semester, since this conveys to the students that they sincerely care about their progress in the class, and about the student as a person. Christian professors would get ostracized for doing this; students would complain and the professor would be told to keep his beliefs to himself. (Contributed by Patty Lathan.) 112. Atheists offen try to scare Christians into disbelief by yelling that after they die they will be sent to the earth's firey core and tormented by Nietzsche for eternity. (Contributed by Captain Tripps .) 113. Each year, the U.S. Post Office is nearly brought to its knees as both devout and "cultural" Atheists celebrate Lucretius' birth by sending each other anti-religious cards and illuminated copies of De Rerum Natura. (Contributed by .) 114. Atheists from Salt Lake City collect lists of dead people, so that they can be baptised posthumously as Atheists. (Contributed by Steven Carr .) 115. Atheists take sick people to doctors so that they can be 'cured', instead of sitting them in front of TV healing shows. Many of these so-called 'doctors' have no ministerial qualifications!. (Contributed by Steven Carr.) 116. Atheists have a superstitious dread of the number 13, because Darwin once invited 12 of his friends to supper. In fact, Atheists have such a strong superstition about certain numbers that road signs and house numbers and company logos have to be changed to avoid upsetting them. (Contributed by Steven Carr.) 117. NBC has shows that promote reason and skepticism in the face of Biblical prophecy or lone pseudoscientists while shows that promote irrational beliefs are on PBS and never reach as many people. (Contributed by The Mighty Timm .) 118. Noted Atheists own "The Family Channel" and show programming that they find appropriate for other Atheists. (Contributed by The Mighty Timm.) 119. The shows "Ignored by an Angel" and "Ultimately Illusory Highway to Heaven" are getting more and more viewers every week. (Contributed by The Mighty Timm.) 120. Each year, the President lights the National Solstice Tree. (Contributed by Brian Helfrich .) 121. There is an entire genre of music known as "Contemporary Atheist Music." The notion of "Christian music" is unheard of. (Contributed by Jeff Lowder.) 122. Most radio markets have at least one Atheist radio station. There are no Christian radio stations anywhere. (Contributed by Jeff Lowder.) 123. Judges justify abortion based on evolutionary theory and Nietzche, instead of the Bible. (Contributed by Arturo Magidin .) 124. Judges often give long speeches on Atheistic morality and use them as a basis for strange or lenient sentences. (Contributed by Arturo Magidin.) 125. All prisons have a resident Atheist philosopher, and inmates are encouraged to participate in weekly philophical dicussions on Bible Contradictions. This is often reported to parole board, who consider it a good indication of contritenes on the prisoner's part. (Contributed by Arturo Magidin.) 126. Atheists tend to call homosexuals, lesbians, and bisexuals criminals against nature while Christians accept them the way God made them. Moreover, while a few "liberal" Atheist organizations do not make heterosexuality a requirement for membership, most Atheist organizations strictly condemn such behavior and have used their massive political influence to criminalize same-sex marriages. (Contributed by the Mighty Timm and Jeff Lowder.) 127. School children who profess their Christianity are routinely held up to ridicule and harrassment by the students and teachers who make up the Atheist majority in both public and private schools. (Contributed by George A Ricker .) 128. Relatively inoffensive movies, which might otherwise be rated G or PG, are likely to be rated PG-13 or R if they contain excessive religious content. (Contributed by Susan Mitchell .) 129. According to comedian George Carlin, the "seven holy words" that cannot be broadcast on television are "God," "Jesus," "Christ," "bless," "heaven," "salvation," and "soul." (Contributed by Susan Mitchell.) 130. Congress has recently passed legislation requiring television manufacturers to install a so-called "H-chip," which enables viewers to automatically censor out any program containing excessive holiness. (Contributed by Susan Mitchell.) 131. Another bill recently signed by President Clinton includes the notorious "Communications Indecency Act," which will severely restrict the free speech rights of persons wishing to use Christian or other religious language or images on Usenet, Web pages, or even local bulletin boards. (Contributed by Susan Mitchell.) 132. A political candidate who declares himself a Christian will have far less chance of winning an election than one who flaunts his Atheism. (Contributed by Alex Matulich.) 133. Former president Franklin Roosevelt always reminded his speech writers to put "some of that anti-god stuff" in his speeches." (Contributed by Gaetan Iavicoli .) 134. Because many forms of Christianity oppose homosexuality, the Atheist Left has installed rules allowing members of the armed services to lose their jobs simply because they have admitted to being heterosexuals. And, of course, heterosexual marriages are completely prohibited. (Contributed by Brett Pasternack .) 135. Every year in November, the President issues a proclamation for a national day of Thanksgiving, calling on Americans to spend the day thanking their parents for creating them and for all that they have done for them. No mention is ever made of the role of God in creating people, helping them acheive happiness, or keeping the country secure. (The proclamation is usually issued a few weeks before the ceremonial planting of the White House Solstice Tree.) (Contributed by Brett Pasternack.) 136. Similarly, after a major disaster the President usually calls for an official day of action; never is prayer suggested. (Contributed by Brett Pasternack.) 137. The President usually ends every speech with the words, "Let's all help America, since there is no God to do things for us." (Contributed by Brett Pasternack.) 138. Whenever an Atheist commits a crime, invariably people will argue that this is not a sign that teaching Atheism might not guarantee a better society, because anyone who would act that way "isn't a true Atheist." (Contributed bt Brett Pasternack.) 139. Bill Bennett compiles a long list of questionable statistics about increasing social ills in American society, and alleges that the increase is due to the "disasterous social experiment" that has abandoned our Agnosto-Athestic heritage in favor of Christianity. Likewise, when he publishes a thick, pompous volume of other people's work entitled "The Book of Reason", the media (notably Time magazine) swoons in rapture and the book becomes a best seller (but rarely read by the children it's bought for, as they are not so easily indoctrinated as their Atheist parents hope). (Contributed by Linus Niksa .) 140. Hordes of angry scientists picketed the movie "Young Einstein", claiming that it depicted Einstein completely wrong, but no one cared enough to demonstrate against "The Last Temptation of Jesus Christ". "Young Einstein" is still so controversial that it is difficult to find in the large video chains. (Contributed by Thomas Foote .) 141. "I don't need a co-pilot" is a popular bumper sticker. (Contributed by Thomas Foote.) 142. Encyclopedia entries on Christianity are usually written by Atheists. (Contributed by Thomas Foote.) 143. Every time a football team wins a game, the coach thanks his players for playing such a spectacular game. Every time a football team loses a game, the coach says, "Well, we would have won, but Jesus wouldn't let us." (Contributed by Thomas Foote.) 144. Bookstores usually carry twenty or thirty versions of the Humanist Manifesto: The Children's HM, The Study HM, The Daily Advice HM, The Murray O'Hair Version HM, The Murray O'Hair Revised Version HM, The Complete HM, The Large Print HM, The Young Couple's Guide HM, The Living HM, The Family Reference HM, etc.. The Christian Bible only has one version, and it's hard to find. (Contributed by Thomas Foote.) 145. The Atheist Left labels itself "pro-responsibility" and "people of reason", implying that Christians are "anti-responsibility" and "people without reason". (Contributed by Thomas Foote.) 146. "Godfull Christian" is a popular, if redundant, insult. (Contributed by Thomas Foote.) 147. The phrase "Darwin devolve" was considered so indecent that for a long time it was not allowed to be broadcast on television or radio, even though both words originated from "The Origin of the Species". (Contributed by Thomas Foote.) 148. Many Christians routinely use "Darwin devolve" as an expression of anger or disappointment even though they don't believe in Darwin. They have only picked up the phrase from their culture. Still, some fundimentalist Atheists use this behavior as so-called "evidence" that all people are born believing in Darwin naturally. (Contributed by Thomas Foote.) 149. "Christian" is often misspelled as "Christain". (Contributed by Thomas Foote.) 150. One often sees bumper stickers like, "Thomas Paine said it, I believe it, that settles it," but seldom sees Christian bumper stickers. 151. Numerous books and talk shows deal with the Near Death Experience and the phenomena are remarkably similar. The person enters a long dark tunnel, its pitch black and nobody is there!! (Contributed by Eolai .) 152. Judges often rule in favor of the Atheist at a custody hearing, because Reason and Freethought are considered virtues, where belief in God makes you an unfit parent. (Contributed by Russel Miranda .) 153. Atheist Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia, in a speech given at an Atheist non-prayer breakfast, declared that Christians are irrational for believing in miracles and the resurrection of Jesus. Scalia also complained that Atheists are wrongly deemed "simple-minded" by the "worldly-wise." (Contributed by Matt Barry.) 154. Famous Atheist Madalyn Murray-O'Hair was awarded the Congressional Gold Medal, America's highest civilian award, for her decades-long devotion to Atheism and the separation of church and state. The Speaker of the House, the Senate majority leader, and the Vice President were on hand at the ceremony, which occurred on the National Day of Non-Prayer. The Congressional resolution noted Murray-O'Hair's "outstanding and lasting contributions to morality, racial equality, family, philanthropy, and Atheism." In her acceptance speech, Murray-O'Hair called on all Americans to cleanse themselves of irrational religion and commit their lives to Atheism. The Christian evangelist Billy Graham, of course, has never won this award and never will. (Contributed by Matt Barry.) 155. Every summer, millions of children attend vacation bible-contradiction school. (Contributed by Jim Doherty .) 156. The sale of religious items is banned on Sunday, which is considered a day of rational thought. Beer and wine can be purchased at anytime. (Conitributed by Jim Doherty.) 157. The southern states are often refered to as the Atheist belt. (Contributed by Jim Doherty.) 158. Atheistic vandals frequently spraypaint such slogans as "Darwin Saves" and "Try O'Hair" on road signs and highway overpasses. No Christian would EVER think of painting "Try Jesus" on a bridge abutment, however. (Contributed by Michael A. Dexter .) 159. A Christian debater who cites divine mysteries to support his point is booed off the stage. Meanwhile, any Atheist who contradicts with logical reason is applauded, and well known Atheists like Pat Buchannan gives speeches praising their "disbelief in god." (Contributed by Ensrifraff@aol.com.) 160. Pat Buchannan said, in one speech, "our culture is superior because we have no religion." (Contributed by Ensrifraff@aol.com.) 161. Anyone who opposes any plan to impose Atheism on citizens is bombarded by hate mail and death threats, some of which are carried out. (Contributed by Ensrifraff@aol.com.) 162. There are several incidents of groups of Atheist teens beating on lone heterosexuals, and the police do nothing. They are known as "straight-bashings."" (Contributed by Ensrifraff@aol.com.) 163. The Atheist Coalition and Immoral Minority currently have a tight grip on the balls of the Democratic party. (Contributed by Ensrifraff@aol.com.) 164. When children are born, the parents are considered evil if they do not splash its face in kool aid to verify its Atheism. (Contributed by Ensrifraff@aol.com.) 165. Atheist organizations are given tax-free status that allows them to invest billions in non-Atheist interests, such as real estate, entertainment, utilities -- and all these items come under the same tax-free status. (Contributed by gss@earthlink.net.) 166. For some odd reason, nobody teaches the uplifting, positive and affirming concept of "Original Sin" to our children in order to help them develop self-assured and guilt-free. (Contributed by Phil and Deena Shapiro ) 167. My in-laws were thrilled when they learned that I was an Atheist, and couldn't wait for me to marry their daughter. (Contributed by Phil and Deena Shapiro) 168. For years people in places like Ireland and the Middle East have been killing each other over the difference between Atheism and Humanism. (Contributed by Phil and Deena Shapiro.) 169. There are so few Christian websites while there are nearly 5000 Atheist websites. (Contributed by Doug Ittner .) 170. A prominent Atheist leader got his appendix removed and it received worldwide attention. The founder of American Christians (known as the most hated woman in America) is missing for over a year and the media hardly talks about it. (Contributed by Doug Ittner.) 171. It is much easier to adopt a child if the prospective parents assert they are not Christians. (Contributed by David Rice .) 172. People look at one oddly when one says one's lack of belief in Jesus as a son of God is true, while everyone else's lack of belief in Jesus as a son of God is false. (Contributed by David Rice.) 173. Stealth evolutionists infiltrate churches to subvert sermons with evolutionary theory; there have never been any stealth creationists who have taken over public school boards and inflicted creationism upon its students. (Contributed by David Rice.) 174. From Samhain to almost a week past Solstice we are inundated by Atheist hymns in the stores. (Contributed by Kevin Reed .) 175. In every high school Christian children are told not to wear their pro-Christian t-shirts. (Contributed by Peggy A Montogmery .) 176. Anything that a Christian says cannot be trusted. (Contributed by Peggy A Montgomery.) 177. Libraries across the country have books banned for their Christian influences. (Contributed by Peggy A Montgomery.) 178. No U.S. president has ever been a Christian. In fact, every U.S. president other than Kennedy was a card-carrying Atheist. (Kennedy was a Secular Humanist instead, and didn't believe in carrying cards.) (Contributed by Roger M Wilcox .) 179. On game shows with trivia categories, whenever the category is "religion", the questions are almost always about religions other than Christianity. Icons used to display the "religion" category to the viewers at home never have pictures of crosses in them. (Contributed by Roger M Wilcox.) 180. If a charitable foundation is challenged in court, it is much easier to defend its charitable purpose if the foundation was established for non-religious purposes. Quoting a few passages from "Atheism: The Case Against God" in its Mission Statement will usually do the trick. (Contributed by Roger M. Wilcox.) 181. Christians who are interested in striking down the I.R.S. as unconstitutional have a very difficult time finding like-minded Christians. Atheistic organizations devoted to "Sovereignty" or "Patriotism", however, are all over the place. (Contributed by Roger M. Wilcox.) 182. Governors have vetoed bills concerning natural disasters which did NOT refer to them as "acts of God", suggesting that God is responsible for the occurrence of natural disasters. (Contributed by Jeffery Jay Lowder.) 183. When the interjection "By Jove!" is spoken, hordes of angry non-Christians howl about dissolute believers using Jove's name in vain. Similary, "Go to Tartarus!" is a common vulgarity. 184. "Jesus - the Legendary Resurrections" is a popular TV show starring Kevin Sorbo, an ardent Atheist. (Contributed by Matt Strayer ) 185. Seven states in the US -- Massachusetts, Colorado, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan, Oklahoma, and Rhode Island -- have blasphemy laws which make culpable those who revile secular Humanists and/or Darwin. (Contributed by Matt Strayer ) 186. Many jurisdictions are passing or dusting off laws which force Christians to fornicate. Christians who choose to abstain until marriage are not only jailed but excoriated as contributing to the degradation of America's Humano-Atheist heritage. (Contributed by Matt Strayer ) 187. When NBC shows programs about the paranormal, one hears an average of three sentences from pro-paranormal experts even though NBC's reporters may have interviewed these experts for hours. Comments from skeptics dominate the telecast. (Contributed by Matt Strayer.) 188. On paranormal television shows, Christians and parapsychologists are almost always portrayed as closed-minded and ornery. Their ace material is almost always left out of the broadcast. (Contributed by Matt Strayer.) 189. Many residents have statues of Pallas Athene, Zeus, Charles Darwin, Bertrand Russel, Albert Einstein, Erwin Schrodinger, James Randi, Carl Sagan, Voltaire, Democritus, Thomas Paine, and Issac Asimov in their yards. If a Christian dares to put a statue of the Virgin Mary or St. Joseph in his yard, offended and irate neighbors immediately demand its removal. (Contributed by Matt Strayer.) 190. A common bumper sticker is "Real men hate Jesus." (Contributed by Matt Strayer.) 191. NBC often runs programs debunking the resurrection of Jesus, therapeutic touch, the power of prayer, the shroud of Turin, psychic police, alien abductions, ancient prophesy, and delphic doomsday predictions. (Contributed by Matt Strayer.) 192. Last Soltice season, a throng of nonbelievers and curious folk flocked to the Seminole Finance Corporation building in Tampa Bay, Florida to witness apparitions which beared a striking resemblance to homo habilus, an evolutionary link between apes and humans. The media payed no attention to similar Christian apparitions. (Contributed by Matt Strayer.) 193. The national anthem of Great Britain is "Save the Queen from God." (Contributed by Matt Strayer.) 194. Greek creationists, who believe the ancient story of the creation of man by Prometheus, have demanded that the teaching of Genesis be stopped in Christian fundamentalist schools. (Contributed by Matt Strayer.) 195. During the eighteenth century, supertitious Humanist leaders derided Benjamin Frankin's explanation of lightning and invention of the lightning rod as heretical. (Contributed by Matt Strayer.) 196. The top selling book in all of history is the "Humanist Manifesto." Atheist apologists use this fallacious reasoning (the fact the HM is the top selling book) as proof of the non-existence of gods to immoral Christians. (Contributed by Matt Strayer.) 197. Atheist fundamentalists fervently object to Halloween for its promotion of belief in devils, witches, magic, and other claptrap. (Contributed by Matt Strayer.) 198. Jimmy Carter recently published a best-selling book titled "Religion: Destroying the Truth." Similarly, Robert Bork has written a best-selling book called "America: Slouching Toward the New Jerusalem", explaining the pernicious influence of Christians and moral conservatives on America. (Contributed by Matt Strayer.) 199. Nancy Reagan is famous for her promotion of "Religion: Just say no." Similarly, her husband Ronald frequently contributed articles debunking astrology to the Skeptical Inquirer. (Contributed by Matt Strayer.) 200. American history books always portray indigenous peoples, blacks, Atheists, Agnostics, and freethinkers in a positive light. Christians, if they are ever mentioned at all, are portrayed as ignorant, irrational, ineffectual, naive, and savage. Christian children often go home crying because of these distorted historical accounts. (Contributed by Matt Strayer.) 201. Dictionary definitions for 'Christian' and 'Atheist' are as follows:

Christian: n. 1) a person who denies the nonexistence of God 2) unDarwin, immoral, wicked

Atheist: n. 1) a person who, as a follower of Darwin, has a loving regard for others 2) a decent, respectable person

(Contributed by Kathy Schmitt .) 202. Evangelistic Atheists frequently go house to house, extolling the virtues of Reason whether the resident wants to hear it or not. (Contributed by Dave Jenkins ) 203. Atheists make a big deal out of non-belief and will bring it up at every opportunity. Christians don't even talk about religion - even if they did, they'd be ridiculed and harassed. (Contributed by Dave Jenkins.) 204. Atheists expect everyone to believe exactly as they do and show no tolerance, even to Agnostics or Humanists. Christians take a "live and let live" attitude and, as long as no one tries to force the issue, don't care what others believe. (Contributed by Dave Jenkins.) 205. During inaguration ceremonies the President-elect is expected to finish his oath by spitting on the Holy Cross as a sign of his rejection of irrational Christianity. If the President-elect refused to do this it would inevitably generate a great deal of distrust among the public. (Contributed by Alejandro Jenkins .) 206. In many courthouses across the country inverted crosses and other anti-religious symbols figure prominently in judges' chambers and even in the court room itself. No one seems to consider that Christians might find this offensive. (Contributed by Alejandro Jenkins.) 207. American newspapers have recently made much of how Cuban dictator Fidel Castro is supposed to be rejecting his traditional conservative Christian values, and about the upcoming visit to Cuba of Francis Crick, the prominent biologist and outspoken Atheist. (Contributed by Alejandro Jenkins.) 208. Scientists and thinkers such as Giordano Bruno who were executed by the church for their defense of reason are often held up as examples of courage and virtue, and are featured prominently in books and films. The martyrs of the early Christian church are rarely mentioned, if at all. (Contributed by Alejandro Jenkins.) 209. Atheists are glorified when they go to war to defend their rationality. Pacifist Christians (who invariably follow the advice to "turn the other cheek") are regarded as cowards. (Contributed by Paul Amore .) 210. Most public figures are WASPs. (Wise Atheistic Secular People) (Contributed by Paul Amore.) 211. Freedom of Speech and the Establishment clause are untouchable laws because so many Atheists support them. The right to bear arms is constantly in danger of being lost, as most Atheists are anti-gun. (Contributed by Paul Amore.) 212. Thomas Jefferson spoke of the "binding connection of Church and State," and most of the Founding Fathers were fundamentalists. However, modern Atheists have supressed their religious standings to advance their own causes. (Contributed by Paul Amore.) 213. Lots of press coverage is devoted to people who see non-miraculous images of Darwin, Sagan etc. formed in clouds or stains. (Contributed by Adrian Barnett .) 214. Atheists are strongly discouraged from marrying theists. Preferably, the theist should convert to the Atheist's particular brand of Atheism. (Contributed by Adrian Barnett.) 215. Politicians try to win votes by declaring how strongly they disbelieve in God. (Contributed by Adrian Barnett.) 216. Children's toys depicting evolution are widely available, but Christians find it very difficult to purchase Noah's Ark toys. (Contributed by Adrian Barnett.) 217. Atheists have recently encouraged the boycotting of companies such as Disney for apparently pro-Christian imagery in films and cartoons, and their supposed encouragement of heterosexuality. (Contributed by Adrian Barnett.) 218. A recent rally in Washington D.C. drew nearly a million Atheist men, who promised to live their lives according to the "Origin of Species." During the rally, the men held signs with quotes from Nietzche and Ayn Rand, and often fell to their knees to offer reasoned arguments on evolutionary theories. News coverage of the event was almost entirely positive, despite the protests of a few groups who felt that the men's "survival of the fittest" attitude may end up victimizing women. (Contributed by Brendan Persinger .) This list only scratches the surface. It is high time that God-fearing American Christians rose up and spoke out against the horrendous anti-Christian bias that has taken hold in our country! » to Atheists of Silicon Valley Humor page « » to Atheists of Silicon Valley homepage «