We had great hopes that following the return of Merkel from vacation, the VIX would finally post an uptick. Alas, it appears that the Fed's new market desk head will not relent until the VIX is at or below 0 (alternatively, stock volume will hit 0 first, in either case confirming the death of equities as anything resembling a discounting mechanism, and validating it as a plaything of central banks). Which means that until reality does come back first slowly and then very fast, we have to focus on more "off the beaten path" news. Such as this one courtesy of BBC: Thai MP Boonsong Kowawisarat 'accidentally kills secretary.' With a submachine gun. In a restaurant. Has yet to be arrested. And faces a $636 fine if convicted.

Senator Boonsong Kowawisarat took out a 9mm Uzi submachine gun while waiting for food, the Bangkok Post reported.

He told police the gun accidentally discharged and his secretary was shot in the stomach.

Police say that the shooting happened in Phrae province, northern Thailand.

Police say that because Mr Boonsong was in shock after the incident, the restaurant owner rushed the secretary to hospital where she succumbed to gunshot wounds.

Correspondents say that it is not clear whether Mr Boonsong knew the gun was loaded before the shooting.

"From our initial inquiry, the secretary's family will not sue because they were relatives and it was an accident - he did not mean to do it," a local police officer told AFP by telephone.

Officials said it was also unclear why the senator was armed at the meal.

Police have yet to arrest the senator - a member of the upper house of the Thai parliament - as he is protected by parliamentary privilege, the Bangkok Post reported.

Mr Boonsong faces a maximum of 10 years imprisonment and a 20,000 baht fine if convicted.