Mr. Butts

Um excuse me. So family values are only what you promise to do in the future, and not what you have done in the (quite recent) past? That’s a nifty new definition. We only judge people by their future promises. Not sure the religious right would agree with Newty on that one (though I do believe I recall the religious right already gave Newt a pass on his adultery, since they too are really all about GOP politics and not promoting anything they actually preach).

(AMERICAblog Elections: The Right’s Field has some great video of Gingrich being questioned, publicly, about his adultery, and Gingrich using the lamest of excuses to avoid answering.)

Now, why should you care that Newt Gingrich has had three marriages (two divorces) and at least one adulterous affair? Because Newt Gingrich cares about your marriages, to the degree that he wants to legislate them. He cares about banning gay marriages so much that just six months ago Gingrich reiterated his call for an amendment to the United States Constitution banning gay marriages.

Yes, the man who told his first wife he was divorcing her while she was recovering from cancer, Gingrich, the man who admits he was committing adultery while going after Bill Clinton for pretty much the same thing (oh, you say, it was Clinton’s “lie” that Gingrich was going after? – then what do you call cheating on your wife? sounds like a lie to me.), the man who wants to now amend the US Constitution to “sanctify” marriage, wants you to ignore the fact that he’s already had three marriages and at least one case of adultery.

If a Democrat had pulled a Gingrich, and claimed that their utter hypocrisy on family values, that their sexual promiscuity was irrelevant to their public agenda of chastity, Gingrich would eviscerate them.

The man is a pig. A charlatan. A hypocrite.

And a bit of a slut.

Which is all fine. Just don’t run for President as the paragon of family values, while trying to legislate how other people run their own marriages. Otherwise expect to be asked about your penile indiscretions again and again and again.

Maybe it’s time we brought back Mr. Butts (actually called ‘Butt Man’ at the time) (who famously harassed Bib Dole on the campaign trail in 1996) for Newt’s presidential run. But rather than a 6 foot cigarette, someone should follow Gingrich around as a 6 foot… oh the possibilities.