Want more great deals? Sign up for our Daily Digest emails!

Leave some for the rest of us!

Hey, you can only buy 15 of these.

Raised by wolves. Befriended by pizza.

“Well, I’m ready to go out to meet some friends. I’ll just grab my coat from this closet and - whaaa‽‽”

“Hey.”

"Gasp! Are you my protector spirit?”

“Sure, whatever.”

“You’ll be my enduring companion?”

“Eh…”

“And you’ll save me from potentially perilous situations?

“Whoa, whoa. I don’t know about that. But! I can notify you if your toast is getting kinda burnt.”

“I don’t eat toast.”

“I’ll tell you if stuff in your fridge is expired.”

“That’s … wait, that’s it?”

“Remind you when you need an oil change?”

“I have a sticker on my car that tells me that.”

“Right. I’d probably just read the sticker and tell you what it says. Also, I'm allergic to gluten, so. Start shopping accordingly.”

“No offense, but you’re kinda useless.”

“And you're almost out of milk. YOU’RE WELCOME.”

Back to top