Hello #GamerGate.



This account is a fake.

This account is a troll.



It's a ruse, a sham, but you all know that by now.



It was also a test, both for myself and #GamerGate.



I'm an actor and I wanted to see if I could get into a mindset that's so... polar opposite of me, and I figured an internet troll was as far as I could get. I realized at a few different points that I had gotten so into the mindset that I began to block people, I even caught myself hovering over the report button once to file a false report (Came to my senses and didn't click it). My tweets got worse and more nasty as time went on. That's a dark place and I can see how some people get swept into it. It's something I don't plan on ever doing again. Honestly, looking through the tweets and remembering what I was thinking as this troll... it scares me. Towards the end I made some obvious mistakes to out my account as a falseflag/troll and make sure everyone knew it, but my guilty conscience won't let me finish it with that.



During my time in character I took examples of all the horrible things I've seen trolls and regular antiGG say and basically pushed it all to their limits.





I've done the following:



- Threatened to dox someone (Deleted those tweets)

- Made outrageous false claims against GamerGate

- Directly tweeted vitriol at some of the larger well known GamerGate supporters

- Randomly butted into conversations to try and inject my brand of negativity and insult random users

- Faked my own doxxing (The address is a Psychiatric Hospital, which I feel like I should visit after this)

- Played damsel in distress at the fake doxxing and promoted it instead of reporting

- Pretended I was receiving harassment, both on twitter and off, when I clearly was not

- Tweeted to Ben Kuchera that I loved reading his tweets (I felt real dirty after this)



First, Apologies:



Lizzyf620: Oh god, you're such a nice person, I understand if you can never forgive me, please keep carrying on as you are. I really admire your strength through all of this.



Nero: Even though I claimed to be a girl all through this twitter I'm a guy, and I would totally fag it up with you anytime. ~<3 Also that remark was based on a real thing I saw some 3rd wave feminists say once a while back, it always stuck with me as being one of the crazier things I've ever heard.



Every person I've tweeted @ basically: Nobody came back with a single threat, no (real) dox, maybe a grand total of 1 semi-insult (I'm not a manlet! I'm really 5'11"). Some people joked, most called me out rightfully as a troll, almost 100% of the profanity on my TL and convos were by me, or people quoting me. Didn't matter who I attacked, the results were mostly the same.





So what did I get out of this? I got to see a community under fire respond to an aggressive individual attack based on a false narrative that their powerful opponents made. I got to see how they responded to it, how they managed it, and whether they were genuine about their real message or not. I also had a chance to push my own mental limits as an actor, to move far outside of my comfort zone and be a real aggressor. It's not a place I liked being in because occasionally I got so swept up in it. It worried me how easy it was.



In closing, this was a troll account by a person trying to be a troll. The response to it surprised me, I tried jabbing every button I could on many people, but never got a really, truly bad response. Probably the most inappropriate thing I saw was one or two people demanding I prove I was a woman by posting my picture. That's no better than the people calling #NotYourShield posters sockpuppets of white men. In my mind, it's a big no-no to demand anything personal from anyone, even something as simple as a picture.



Anyway, report this account into oblivion or keep it as a big piece of proof that the #GamerGate community is above petty trolls and its users passionate about what matters.



Thank you, and sorry.

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