My ex-wife’s partner laid it out for me last night. Some context, my son is 14, I was married in 2005, my wife moved out 2007 & filed for divorce 2010. She has been with her current partner, Mr Scumbag, for 10 years.

Late Christmas eve I receive a text from my son, little late but excited to hear from him until I read it and discover it’s not from him. Mr Scumbag, this guy whom my son refers to as his step-father, decided to text me using my son’s phone. I replied.

I did not have high expectations as our interactions have never ended well. I have been verbally abused many times, in earshot of my son, and physically attacked at his place of work which he was fired for. This is what I got…

I was really dumbfounded by this as there is so much wrong with this. This is not a conversation you have with a child anytime not to mention on Xmas eve. Since when did step-fathers have legal powers to determine visitation writes and what is this domestic violence bullshit.

I received several phone calls from Mr Scumbag, who appeared to be inebriated, all of which I have copied and saved. I have received many ridiculous accusations and demands from this guy and the woman I once called my wife, but this is going too far.

I will categorically state I was never in any way physically abusive to my ex-wife or any person in my life. To make such a baseless accusation to a child about his father is beyond vile & disgusting, especially in this manner at this time of year. That said, what can I do?

I’ve been in the process of legal proceedings since mid-2016 after the last time my ex-wife decided to rescind my visitation. No court order just a phone call. I was advised by authorities she can’t technically do that? OK, so what do I do? — “You will have to take her to court”. Like it’s that simple.

I have been on the edge of this point multiple times in the last 10 years and pulled back as it’s not what I want. It’s expensive, time-consuming and really should not be necessary. What choice do I have now? The stories I hear about these battles are dreadful and expensive.

My son is everything to me & anyone who knows him knows how special he is. The relationship we have is like nothing I have ever had with another human being and my primary goal in life is to make him proud to call me Dad.

Here is a letter he gave me after graduating grade 6.

I am sorry to bring down your Christmas festivities but I badly needed to tell my story. Any advice or thoughts welcome.