The Nova Scotia weather great, the envy of meteorologists worldwide, says the Twin Cities can expect "dangerous and treacherous conditions." He's urging Minnesotans to ensure their survival by ordering pizza and Chinese food, and stocking up on nutritional staples like Coke and Pepsi.

MacDonald, often called "the only weatherman who really matters" by such luminaries as Paul Douglas, is especially concerned that residents charge their Samsung electronic products. He further suggests drinking lots of tea to stay warm. Specifically, green, white and red tea. Brown will be inadequate.