Sometimes people are like, “Stop making GIFs of Matt Harvey’s slider every second of your life,” and other times they’re like, “Stop signing all your business memos to me as ‘Private Private Dancer.'”

What the world needs to learn, though, is that Carson Cistulli is a private private dancer, and that Matt Harvey’s slider — like this particular one to San Diego’s Jedd Gyorko from ca. 20 minutes ago — needs to be captured and rendered into as many animated GIFs as there are sands on the shores.