December 10th, 2019

In approximately three hours it will have been a full year since this journey began. I call it a journey because I have come so far since the stroke. It could have been the end of my well-being or even my life. But I simply did not allow that.

In this past year I have struggled and triumphed. Each day I live in slight fear that it will happen again. Each tingle, twitch and tinge sends me into a mini panic attack. It may seem silly but it’s difficult to control the anxiety. Far too often recurrent strokes are much more devastating than the first.

Even with this fear I have pushed through and bettered myself in several ways. I returned to jiu-jitsu decided to return to school to finally get my degree. Far too often I let the anxiety and fear of the unknown turn me away from taking these chances. By far the biggest change I have made was leaving my job as a 9-1-1 Dispatcher to finally work the road as an EMT. It is something I have always wanted to do and thus far I am having a great time! Leaving 9-1-1 probably should have happened a lot time ago, I allowed it to turn me into an extremely negative person. Still, it was a mostly rewarding experience and I will cherish my time there.

The only downside at this time is that I am still fighting with Workplace Health to return to the Fire Department. I tried on more than one occasion to prove that I was fit to return to duty early but they would not budge. Now the year has come and I have a return to work exam set for next week in which I fully expect to be cleared to return to firefighting.

So now, instead of living in fear I try to be an example and encourage others to keep pushing through. No matter what your situation is, you can make the most of it. We all have the ability to shape our lives how we want them to be. The harder the work is to obtain your goal, the better the results. I have told several people that if I can do it, then they most definitely can. Things are going to happen that is out of our control. Make the most of your time and tackle each obstacle as they happen.

And lastly (sappy moment alert!) I want to once again thank everyone (you all know who you are) for their support over the past year. I honestly cannot put into words how much all of it meant to me. When I was laying there a year ago wondering what the literal hell just happened, I didn’t honestly know if I’d still be here. The fear I felt with the doctor’s shoving advanced directive forms in my face to fill out was paralyzing (no pun intended). I’m glad to be here and better than I was before, I truly could not have done it without all of you.

End Year 1