Yeah, those titties are real, baby! Good ol' housing HAMP reference, a smattering of some sober reflection as well concerning Libya.



10/18/2012: JON STEWART: I would say even you would admit it was not the optimal response, at least to the American people, as far as us all being on the same page. BARACK OBAMA: Well, here's what I'll say. If four Americans get killed, it's not optimal.

The conservative Twitterati pounced, and by 10pm's On the Record with Greta Van Susterenenenenen, Senator John McCain expressed his deep — and in no way opportunistic — disappointment.



SEN. JOHN MCCAIN, R-AZ (10/18/2012): Even from someone like the President, who has never known what these kinds of tragedies are about, and the serious sacrifice that people make, it's still... just, you know, I can't even get angry, it's just so inappropriate. And I'm sure that the families of those brave Americans are not amused.

So to see the Senator commit to something without first properly vetting it was really...

Well, it was... yeah, OK. I guess that was usual. (audience cheering and applause) Yeah, I think jokes like that are probably why he stopped watching.

Anyway, I figured, give conservatives a night to sleep on it, see the interview in context, perhaps the reaction will be less knee-jerk.



KIMBERLY GUILFOYLE (10/20/2012): Not optimal? Some people aren't happy about that. 10/19/2012: STEVE DOOCY: That is an embarrassing word for the President of the United States to use. JEFF BALLABON: This shouldn't be exploited, this is a national tragedy. PETE HEGSETH: ... not acceptable ... MIKE HUCKABEE: ... cold and callous ... STUART VARNEY: ... rather clinical language ... little cold, I would say tragic.

BARACK OBAMA (10/18/2012): Nobody's more interested in figuring this out than I am. When a tragic event like this happens on the other side of the world....

Now in the context of that individual soundbite, you may view the right's grand mal, multimedia freak-out as an overreaction, an inexplicable eruption resulting from an innocuous stimulus. Much in the way if you were to see, let's say, an aging Jewish talk show host run to the bathroom after drinking merely half a glass of milk. You might think to yourself, it's just fucking milk! To you! But it's clear now that the right, over time, has developed Baracktose Intolerance. (wild audience cheering and applause)

You know, it seems like it began in 2008....



2008: SEAN HANNITY: Who is the real Barack Obama? MARY MATALIN: Obama is a big risk. MICHAEL STEELE: We don't know anything about Obama. SEN. JOHN MCCAIN, R-AZ: What does he plan for America?

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away.... Well, actually, it's just Fox News headquarters over on 6th Avenue. It's not that far.

2008, Barack Obama was a new hope. The Empire was uneasy.



REP. TRENT FRANKS, R-AZ (3/8/2008): If Mr. Obama should become President, I really believe it'll be hard to stop the economy from being socialized. REP. STEVE KING, R-IA (3/8/2008): The al-Qaeda and the radical Islamists and their supporters will be dancing in the streets. DICK MORRIS (11/5/2008): I'll bet that this market drops significantly. NEWT GINGRICH (10/19/2008): He's going to have an effort to eliminate freedom of speech for Rush Limbaugh and Sean Hannity. SEN. JOHN MCCAIN, R-AZ (5/16/2008): The rights of law-abiding gun owners will be at risk. MARK WILLIAMS, TEA PARTY EXPRESS (3/27/2010): Barack Obama wants to depopulate the countryside, and make us ride around in bicycles!

And while the economy is not yet socialized, Islamists burn effigies of Obama, the stock market doubled, Limbaugh and Hannity blather on, gun rights have actually expanded, and cars remain legal... (audience laughter) the point is booga-booga-booga-booga-booga-booga-booga-booga-booga-booga-booga-booga-booga!!!

But, after Obama's inauguration, there was no time to re-evaluate failed predictions, because the bullshit harvest of Obama's presidency would wait for no man.



STEVE DOOCY: Barack Obama met with King Abdullah, and what did he do? He bowed! SEAN HANNITY: Free Obama phones, free Obama money. STUART VARNEY: ... wealth redistribution ... CHARLES PAYNE: $200 million dollars a day on that India trip. DONALD TRUMP: Why doesn't he show his birth certificate? SEAN HANNITY: We've got ACORN, we've got Alinsky, we've got community organization. ERIC BOLLING: ... the rapper Common ... MICHELLE MALKIN: ... global apology tour ... ANDREW NAPOLITANO: ... death panels ... LAURA INGRAHAM: ... Obama indoctrination ... GLENN BECK: ... Obama-brand reparations ... SEAN HANNITY: Obama is destroying this country. UNKNOWN MALE ON FOX BUSINESS CHANNEL: ... the mosque-ing of America ... DICK MORRIS: We're establishing, literally, a command center for terrorism right at the 9/11 site.

Literally! It is a literal command center for terrorism that we established! At the site of 9/11! Why would we do that?! But we did! Literally!

Who would do such a thing? Kill our grandmas, brainwash our children, institute Sharia Law, bankrupt the country with $200-million-dollar a day travel habits. Setting aside that the President didn't actually do any of those things, why would the President do these things??



VICTORIA JACKSON: The President's a Communist! GLENN BECK: This guy is, I believe, a racist. MARK LEVIN: I think he's a Marxist. NEWT GINGRICH: He is a natural secular European socialist. UNKNOWN MAN ON FOX NEWS: I think he's pro-Islamist. MONICA CROWLEY: That is Mubarak Obama. UNKNOWN MAN ON FOX NEWS: Hugo Chavez Obama. ANN COULTER: Robespierre, Castro, and Mao. CHARLES PAYNE: Lenin or Mussolini. HANK WILLIAMS, JR.: Hitler! GLENN BECK: Hitler. ANDREW NAPOLITANO: Joseph Stalin, without the bloodshed.

With all due respect, Joseph Stalin, without the bloodshed — really not the same Stalin. I mean, the bloodshed was his thing, without that he might as well just be, I dunno, Gary Stalin, you know. It's like, he's just like Scooby Doo, but he can't talk or solve crimes. Well then he's just a fucking dog with a snack habit, that's all! (audience cheering)

Of course, the worst thing about living on Bullshit Mountain for the last four years is the loneliness.



ERIC BOLLING: Here's some news you won't hear if you listen to the liberal mainstream media. SEAN HANNITY: This is just one example of a story those in the mainstream media refuse to cover. MAN ON FOX NEWS: So why has the mainstream media barely covered that story?

This is what brings us back to "not optimal", and how Bullshit Mountain works its magic. Cuz as ridiculous and hyperbolic and unfounded as the pronouncements from Bullshit Mountain are, for some reason, other news networks can't resist its siren song.

