“Lamby Prance Prance Revolution: An Origin” or “For Want of EweTube”

2003

Mrs. Pines: Honey! Get over here! I want to show you something!

Mr. Pines: (entering room) Coming-coming. What’s…up? Aw…Mabel, you look adorable in that little lamb costume…wait, that can’t be right. (looks at the baby in his arms)

Mabel: (pats him on the nose) Boop. (giggles)

Mr. Pines: Then who’s-? Oh. Oh my. (to the kid in the lamb costume) I’m so sorry, Dipper.

Dipper: (waves) Hi daddy!

Mrs. Pines: Don’t apologize to your son. He loves it.

Mr. Pines: Well, I think that either of us would find it really, really embarrassing if we had to wear something like that as kids.

Mrs. Pines: But you’re taking out your camera.

Mr. Pines: I can’t help it. He’s so cute right now. Still…(snaps a photo) pretty embarrassing for the little guy.

Mrs. Pines: Aw, now you’re just being pessimistic. I’m sure Dipper will look back on this - and all the photos you’re taking - with fondness. He’s so psyched about his new duds that he even wrote a song about them.

Mr. Pines: Really? Like with lyrics and stanzas?

Mrs. Pines: (waves palm at him) Eh, kinda. (points at her son) Hit it, kiddo!

Dipper: (gets out of chair) Well… who wants a lamby, lamby, lamby?

I do! I do!

So, go up and greet your mammy, mammy, mammy

Hi there! Hi there!

So march, march, march around the daisies,

Don’t, don’t, don’t you forget about the ba-by!



Mr. Pines: That…that made no sense. (wipes a tear from his eyes) And it was amazing.

Mrs. Pines: Told ya.

Mr. Pines: I just wish I had taped it.

Mrs. Pines: Handled. (whips out cassette) Now we can make copies and show this to your folks, my folks, your Uncle Stan, and anyone else we want. Maybe even the whole world!

Mr. Pines: Heh, I don’t think we could afford to make that many tapes. Still…it would be nice to share this with everyone. If only there was a mass media platform we could use to distribute this footage on a nationwide scale in a concise and pervasive manner with the potential for immense returns and at barely any cost to ourselves.

Mrs. Pines: (scratches chin) Yeah. That’d be pretty neat. Hmmm…

Mr. Pines: Hmmm….

Mabel: *BURP*

Mrs. Pines: (gasps) Are you thinking what I’m thinking?

Mr. Pines: (smiles) I think I am!

Mr. and Mrs. Pines: The USA’s Most Hilarious Candid Catastrophes! (they hug their kids to them and laugh)

Dipper: (blinking obliviously) What’s going on, mommy?

Mrs. Pines: Hopefully big cash prize money, my little lamb. (hushed) Hopefully big cash prize money.