Superstar DJ, trance artist and electric master general Gareth Emery has not remixed the ultimate Mii Chanel Theme despite it being more popular than anything produced since the Beatles sang 'Hey Jude'.

We, the undersigned, call on Mr Emery to lift up the synth of Excalibur in order to deliver the world a new hope, a new sound, a new remix of Nintendo's heavenly melody.

Mr Emery must produce a piece of music so touching, influential and seismic that it should resort grown men to tears and bring the uncontrollable masses to heed under its noise everlasting. All Trance listeners of the disco unite and sign this petition!