WASHINGTON—Overwhelmed by the outpouring of support from the public, the National Trust for Historic Preservation reported Wednesday that it had raised more than $8 million in just three days to demolish President Trump’s boyhood home in Queens, NY. “Thanks to the generosity of the American people, we are well on our way to bulldozing the president’s first home as part of our mission to uphold America’s cultural heritage and values,” said NTHP president Stephanie K. Meeks, adding that not only had dozens of companies come forward to match their employees’ donations but that dozens of children had made much smaller contributions to the cause by sharing their allowance money. “Still, we never imagined that razing the site where the 45th president spent his early years would be greeted so enthusiastically. Big donors, small donors—it seems that Americans from all walks of life want to chip in to make sure that no trace of this structure exists for future generations.” Meeks went on to say that the ground upon which the historic childhood home once stood would be immediately available for new development.

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