'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the flat

Not a record was stirring, not even one DAT;

The beats were mixed proper in to the track,

In hopes that Grooverider would add them to his sack;

The MC was almost passed out from hittin' the fatty,

Chilled the fuck out from some yule tied natty;

My girl in her skullie, and I in my Technics cap,

Had just got baked before a long winter's nap,

When out on the street there arose vicious bass,

I opened my red eyes to check what's up in my place.

Away to the window I stumbled and crashed,

Fanned away the smoke and brushed away the trash.

The smog made the light have barely a glow,

So I could barely see shit parked down below,

When, what to my wondering ears should I hear,

But the Valve sound system. Fuck! My ears!!

With a little old DJ, so wicked and bold,

I knew in a moment it wasn't Oakenfold.

More bangin' than earthquakes his mixes they came,

Then a whole crew showed up, you wouldn't believe the names!

"Yo, Fabio! Yo, Marky! Yo, Pascal and Brian G.!

Big up, Hype, Grooverider, Bailey and Andy C!

From turntable one to turn table two!

Pull out your plates and rinse it till noon!"

As they started to wreck it punters jumped out,

I think I heard a dude selling mix tapes startin' to shout,

And then around the corner a little bit later,

A Benz-0 rolled up with Goldie and Navigator.

A few minutes later I heard from the roof,

The sneaking of trainers sounding aloof.

As I starting swaying back (I was still fucking bent!),

Up the stairwell carrying an antennae they went.

They were dressed in black from their head to their feet,

I'm sure that shit looked fucked up to a cop on the street;

A bunch of stereo equipment they had in their mits,

It was some pirate motherfuckers coming to broadcast this shit.

By now the crowd outside was anything but calm.

As an A-list of DJs dropped bomb after bomb

Mad crazy dubs got put on the platter,

As each DJ flexed, the beats kept getting fatter;

A stump of a bowl I held tight to my teeth,

I swear the smoke looked like a Christmas wreath;

This shit was too crazy to myself I did say,

"Oh, shit! I think Fabio just dropped "LK";!

The track after that was an instant rewind,

And I'm up in my apartment losing my mind;

Moose got on the mic and started to shout,