What is it about this guy? Ladies are unable to form complete sentences whenever he’s around. It looks like ABC is missing out on not having Brooks be the bachelor (more on that later) because he is some sort of panty dropper. This is the guy that makes women go wild:

Brooks’ claim to fame was his very dramatic breakup with Desiree. Tears were shed, heart’s were broken, Desiree’s were sad. Here is a brief clip of how it went down:

I couldn’t find the whole thing so this will have to do. One of the best breakups we’ve seen on the show. I think what elevated it’s magnitude was that she was the bachelorette and he was leaving so late in the show when everyone knew she wanted to pick him. It was really a great watch and worth it if you want to look up the whole episode.

So back to paradise Brooks. It’s obviously very late in the game and he knows this. He has a date card and he is eyeing one girl in particular to go on that date. Surprisngly that girl is Sarah. Before he can even think of asking, Robert and Zach pull him aside to let him in on who is with who. Now I thought Michelle and everyone else said there would be none of that and you just pick whoever you want. Well the guys are a little fearful of Brooks and Robert uses this time to tell him that Sarah is off limits and he will kill him. Maybe it’s just me but I never would have thought there would be guys getting territorial and fighting over Sarah. Maybe I’m a cold hearted bastard. Zach fails to convey to Brooks that him and Jackie have a thing going, so of course Brooks asks Jackie to go on date. She accepts and they eat some Mexican and play some foosball:

Oh sorry. Wrong foosball:

And one more. Because it’s one of my favorite jokes from one of my favorite shows:

Alright. Got that out of my system. So Brooks and Jackie have a nice time, Zach is sad, Chris Harrison is pleased.

We also have another male entrant to the tropical land known as Mexico. In walks Tasos. You remember him from Andi’s season:

The best quality that Tasos has is that he is not Jesse. Jesse got caught allegedly finger blasting Lucy before he sent her home. He also fooled around with Christy (not sure to what extent) but she hates him. She’ll pretty much take any former contestant that isn’t named Kalon at this point. So Tasos is the beneficiary and they go on a date and have a nice time.

I want to interrupt here and say that Christy looked 10 times better this episode. She looked two sheets to the wind last episode. Really stepped her game up this time. I know Tasos was into it.

Zach gets the last date card and chooses Jackie to go with. They go underground and have some dinner and swimming. He proceeds to hold her in the water rather awkwardly for long periods of time, but I guess she was into it.

So we get to the rose ceremony and shit slowly starts to go down. Jesse has a chat with Christy and finds out that she will be giving her rose to “Taco” (I chuckled, but only because I called him that during ‘ette). After receiving this news Jesse knows his time here is done and makes an announcement that he is leaving. He gets in his limo and does his exit interview thing. Meanwhile, Michelle and Lacy are talking to Christy about how it wasn’t right how Jesse treated her. They get her to muster up the courage to go tell him off, and for the first time I can remember there is a confrontation inside/outside the limo. Christy and her backup dancers tell him that he’s a douchebag and disrespectful. Jesse could care less and says he got what he came for.

Roses go as predicted until we get to Jackie. She has to choose between Zach and Brooks. Brooks was a long shot and he knows it. Zach gets the rose and Brooks departs. If there is a season in which all the 'ette guys aren’t bach material, don’t be surprised to hear Brooks in the rumor mill. This definitely isn’t the last time we see Brooks on the franchise.

Speaking of the bachelor, our new one has been confirmed. Everyone has known for a while but last week Chris Soules was announced:

Corn

I’m a big Chris fan. I think he’ll be good. And I loved when he tore down that little bitch JJ from Andi’s season. If I had to guess Chris is probably looking for a nice midwestern/southern girl with good values and loves her family. Big city loud mouth New Yorkers need not apply.

We’ve got the paradise finale next week and then the main even returns in Jan. 2015. Hopefully Harrison and friends give us something to talk about in between.

Jesse and Brooks:

See you next week

- Nick