April 23, 2018 · OPINION

The PlainsA Facebook friend posted a link to a letter to Fauquier Now, “Winding roads too dangerous for cyclists,” and said she “despised” cyclists for making the roads unsafe.For my part, I despise the Amish. They and their Mennonite brethren drive their horse and buggies on the roads, making them unsafe for my car. Why can’t they get with the 21st century, grab a cell phone and a car and get with the program?I also despise the farmers for moving their equipment on the roads and making them unsafe for my car. Those tractors go about as fast as a bike. Why do they have to farm anyway? If they must farm, why can’t they airlift their hay making equipment between fields? I mean, I pay MORE in taxes to subsidize their land use, right? They should be making enough money to do that, right? Look at those big shiny trucks.I despise the entire equestrian community. Their horse trailers and their fox hounds in the road slow my roll. Their farms provide scenery and open space that people come out HERE from THERE to visit and ride by, slowly.I also despise the wineries. (See above, and just because.)I despise the wildlife, the trees that fall in the storms, people who walk and run on the roads and make them unsafe. I guess you can say that anyone or anything that is on the road that may inconvenience me, or make me pay attention, or cause a slight delay in my progress — well, I hate ’em. They make the roads unsafe for me and my car and my cell phone and my schedule. And the deer and the possum and the fallen trees? NONE of them pay taxes. They shouldn’t be on these roads.Mostly though, I despise cyclists. They come from “there” to ride on OUR ROADS, and they dress funny. I round a blind curve at 45 mph and there one will be, or two or three. I have to SLOW DOWN and WAIT until I can safely pass. Usually it takes about 30 seconds or so, sometimes longer, like 90 seconds to get a clear view in order to not pass into oncoming traffic. It’s usually about the amount of time I waste sitting in my car looking at my phone when I arrive at my destination. Don’t they know I’ve got stuff to do?If only the countryside were subdivisions with sidewalks and bike paths and a Super Target instead of fields with cows and horses and farms and wineries and vineyards and horse farms. THEN we’d be happy. Then maybe the cyclists wouldn’t come here and take up my road and frighten me when I look up from my phone while doing 55 mph on a two lane country road. Give me more cars and stop lights and bigger roads with passing lanes and houses and traffic and congestion and noise and higher taxes any day. I’d feel much safer.Open country roads and cyclists riding in the nice weather? NO THANKS. I simply cannot shoulder that burden. That is too much to ask. These are MY roads, not theirs. THEY cause the dangerous situations, NOT ME.I have a family who cares about me and my safety. Obviously they don’t, otherwise they wouldn’t let them on the roads with my car. I’m a law abiding citizen, except when it comes to negotiating bikes on my road. That’s where I draw the line.They’re going to have to pull my right to cross double yellow lines into oncoming traffic from my cold dead fingers. I don’t care what the law says. I say it’s the cyclist’s fault.And they go too slow and dress funny. Like the Amish.