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NSW Nationals MP Troy Grant has come out saying his party was not a “safe harbour for people with outrageous views”, responding to revelations that alt-right nationalists have been attempting to stack the NSW Young Nationals.

Ironically, while the organisation is mostly made up of young men lacking reliable father figures, the alt-right’s stance on abortion laws is surprisingly less extreme than the busted old bushies running their new party.

The Nationals have revealed they will temporarily suspended processing new NSW Young Nationals memberships, after the revelations

At least three NSW Young Nationals, are, or recently have been, members of a group called the Lads Society, a new project headed by some of the nation’s most prominent alt-right nationalists like Blair Cottrell.

However, the Betoota Advocate can reveal that since this announcement, the rebel infiltrators have already resigned.

This comes after being forced to spend an evening with former Deputy Prime Minister Barnaby Joyce.

One at-risk latent homosexual ex-private schooler who walked in on his valium addled mum having sex with a pool cleaner before his preparatory violin recital Wyatt Privolic (27), says although he has spent his whole life craving the attention of a father figure, Barnaby Joyce was just too much.

“He just kept making me drink” says the Eastern Suburbs born and raised son of a hedge fund manager, who fears Muslims and feminists despite never meeting a Muslim and never really meeting a feminist.

“It wasn’t even fun in the end. It was just excessive”

“What’s wrong with these drunk old bushies. They are just loud idiots who yarn about grain storage and water policies.”

“Whatever happened to the real, nostalgic Australia that I misplaced during my underwhelming childhood”

“Whatever happened to making life hard for migrants and Aboriginal people for the sheer jolt of sexual gratification? All these blokes talk about is regional football results and cattle prices”