In a guest essay in mother Ivana’s new memoir Raising Trump, Ivanka Trump reveals that for a moment in the 1990s she went through a punk phase. But what on Earth could this mean? A brief appreciation for Blink-182? Discovering a run in a stocking and just going with it? Heroin? We’ll let her tell the story:

During my punk phase in the nineties, I was really into Nirvana. My wardrobe consisted of ripped corduroy jeans and flannel shirts.

Oh, okay. So the story here is that the First Daughter was briefly interested in what at the time was the most popular band on the planet, and also dressed like someone her own age. Edgy and dangerous! And there’s more!

One day after school, I dyed my hair blue. Mom wasn’t a fan of this decision. She took one look at me and immediately went out to the nearest drugstore to buy a $10 box of Nice’n Easy. That night, she forced me to dye my hair back to blond. The color she picked out was actually three shades lighter than my natural color… and I have never looked back!

If you believe that anyone in the Trump family has even touched a box of Nice 'N Easy, I have a big, beautiful wall to sell you. Plus, as any Eminem fan will tell you from brutal personal experience, you have to do a rinse and a toner if you’re going to bleach your hair, otherwise you’re looking at a pale orange, surely a color Ivana would reflexively have been avoiding in the 1990s.

Basically, we are calling BS on this story. But punk-policing is the oldest and least-interesting trick in the book. And when you think about it, aiding and abetting the destabilization of Western democracy is pretty in-your-face behavior. Plus, much like GG Allin, her father throws feces at his audiences on the regular, so maybe there’s something to this after all.

We’ll find out as we further descend into anarchy, as the Sex Pistols intended.

Dave Holmes Editor-at-Large Dave Holmes is Esquire's L.A.-based editor-at-large.

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io