It’s time to play Pick a Door to Your Apps—a game show that, admittedly, not many people would watch.

Behind Door No. 1: That familiar username box and a never-ending hamster wheel of reused passwords and reset emails. Door No. 2: A quick login accompanied by a lifetime supply of intrusive ads. Door No. 3? A more private way in. Just be warned—for now, Door No. 3 is hard to find.

I’m...