Fang: Your idiot friend won't stop pestering me about reading his stupid fan fiction.

Desmond: Oh! You mean "Godzilla: An Atomic Love Story"? I can't put it down!

Desmond: Veronica Belmont is the great great granddaughter of legendary vampire slayer Simon Belmont, and betrays her family legacy of monster hunting to be with her one true love: A 1,000 foot radioactive lizard.

Desmond: But don't worry; the love scene is handled very tastefully.