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Combat positions!

Prometheus is so confusing and disjointed that it just feels like a movie that was rewritten into oblivion -- and the writers' commentary track absolutely confirms that. It switches back and forth between Jon Spaihts (who wrote the first draft) and Damon Lindelof (who ruined it), and though they are in different rooms, they're both constantly talking about what the movie almost was and trying to justify the changes made, respectively. Between them, they say the words "in earlier drafts" over 800,000 times (I counted). Lindelof almost gleefully describes all the problems that Aliens fans will have with the movie, and then explains that he did that on purpose, because he doesn't like to answer questions in his screenplay. Which sorta gives me the impression that Lindelof doesn't know how screenplays work and also that an Aliens fan once killed his dog or something.

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I guess they do that.

When I really love or really hate a creative person, I imagine a personality for them in my head, based entirely on the stuff they make. And the personality I created for Lindelof isn't terribly flattering: Because of Lost, I assume he's really pretentious but not actually smart; because of Star Trek Into Darkness, I assume he doesn't know what story structure or characters are; and because of World War Z, I assume that he hates me, personally. Now I know that all these things are true, because of the Prometheus commentary. So I just have to ask: Why do you hate me, Damon Lindelof? What did I do? What did I do?