TORONTO – The province of Ontario has announced it will be eliminating any words used in government services that Premier Doug Ford finds ‘French-sounding.’

45% of various nouns and verbs used in government information and spoken by will be cut including “government,” “responsibility,” and “parliament,” as well as any other words that Ford or his caucus find too difficult to pronounce.

As a part of the Premier’s spite-based policies, many speculate Ford is trying to get back at his grade 9 French teacher Mme. Laliberte for forced conjugations in a language that was foreign to Mr. Ford.

“Any action by this government is dictated by revenge,” said political analyst Kyla McKinnon. “Clearly Ford had it out for her and her bescherelle.”

The provincial government has also announced the creation of its own Ontario language police, which oversee further cuts to minority languages and will fine anyone who does not pronounce “Toronto” as Taranna.