Gift #3: NO FREAKING WAY! I wake up today and sleepily prepare for another day of work (why are the days just before Christmas break the longest?!?) and go into the guest bedroom to scrape through the laundry in there, hoping to find something to wear that is only minimally covered in cat fur.

I see it. A package. It says 'to Skeletress'. It must've arrived earlier than the the mail I got yesterday from the box or been delivered to the doorstep and my nice cleaning lady put it in here! I feel terrible I didn't see it yesterday as my child-like excitement consumes me and I tear open the package.

I tear up. It's a bee shirt. I love bees. I've always loved bees.

This is a very sweet one.

If you've never heard it, an early scientific theory was that a bumble bee's body is far too big for their little wings, and shouldn’t be able to fly, but because no one ever told them they couldn't, bumble bees conquered what seemed impossible at the time and in doing so became a motivational legend. When I was little, they were my heroes. I, too, was littler than expected and had some things that should've stacked against me, but I was fierce and always dreamed of doing big, unexpected things.

Nowadays, bees face bigger problems via overdevelopment, mosquito abatement and other threats and their populations are in dire straits due to serious population endangerment. I still love them. I'm that girl who goes to local markets just to buy fresh honey. The girl who goes to bee shops just to lust over the beekeeping equipment dream of the day I can have enough yard to have my own hives. The girl who flings wildflower packets out her window hoping something will sprout to help my little friends.

This shirt means the world to me, and is a cause very close to my heart. My sweet, sweet Santa: you knocked it out of the park again. I'm utterly flummoxed and eternally grateful for your over-generosity and kindness. You have completely spoiled me this Christmas and made me believe in the magic of the holidays in a way I haven't since I was little. Please know that you have made me so happy and grateful in ways I can't even articulate.

You are the best Santa. I love you so much. Thank you for helping me find love and light this season. Thank you for teaching me holidays can be bright. Thank you for being a kind, good human. — Gift #2: Rewind to an hour ago. I arrive home after literally one of the toughest days I’ve ever had at work. I check the mail:

Bill. Bill. Alumni donation request. Thing I should do but don’t have time to. Package. (Hmmmm, package?)

Advertisement. Credit Scam. Bill.

I, of course, chuck the rest of the stuff on the table and tear into the package like a wolf. I open it and laugh the deep kind of belly laugh that comes from your soul. It is the best, funniest, sexiest, handsomest shirt in the world. I put it on immediately. I’m never taking it off, work be damned.

I’m a Post Malone junkie. He’s my bae and boo and a lyrical genius. This shirt cracks me up and I love it so much! Secret Santa, I love you. We’re not “Over now,” I want you to “Stay.” With you in my life, I’m “Better Now”. Also, “Congratulations,” you’re the best santa ever.

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Gift # 1: Have you ever received a gift from someone and felt as if they’ve looked directly into your soul? It just happened to me! I am so excited right now! I mentioned that I love traveling and alcohol and my Santa got me a gift that encompasses both; my Santa bought me a Booze Bracelet for drinking on the go!! This is such a perfect gift for me and so timely, too, because I have so many holiday parties and concerts to go to this year and this sneaky flask is going to take my participation from “I’m ready to go home,” to “I’m ready to partyyyyyyy!” This is also going to be perfect for the beach and so many other things and my Santa has no way of knowing this, but it also perfectly matches my pink Apple Watch!

My cat and I held a quick summit on whether to fill it with Captain Morgan or Tito’s and we both decided Tito’s would be best for this bracelet’s maiden voyage, and filling it up is super simple with this tiny funnel that’s included!! It holds SO much vodka!

Thank you so much, Santa! I know you said other things are coming, so I will update/repost but I just couldn’t wait!!