Thibaut Courtois’ legs will be featured on an up and coming episode of Jeremy Kyle, after the pair separated in dramatic fashion on Wednesday evening.

Jeremy Kyle, famous for aggressively berating the UK’s working classes on his popular ITV show, is keen to meet his new guests. “This separation has been highly publicised” explained the TV host. “My researchers have already discovered a third party who might be involved. Apparently a football has been coming between the couple and distancing them even further. It’s likely we’ll be talking to the football, too.”

Antonio Conte was among the first to express his excitement. “I’m definitely Sky Plussing this one” said the Italian, who has been invited to join the studio audience too. “The sooner we can reunite Courtois’ legs, the sooner Chelsea can continue to draw games 0-0. Apparently I’m going to be sat next to a 17 stone woman called Brenda who sells Avon products to her Facebook friends. It’s going to be a real cultural experience.”

Other guests on the show include a family of 7 who have all married the same basset hound and a man who may or may not be the biological father of a Ford Escort. You can catch the show on Friday, March 16th.

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