It's The Truth

A child who speaks more than one language is an adult who can talk their way out of trouble in any country. THAT'S someone you want to party with.

Look, if you're going to a nice hotel by a fancy beach, who do you want with you? The dude who spends all day trying to find a Sbarros? Or the chick who's been speaking the langauge ever since she was a child, and knows the words for "it wasn't me" and "let's just go to the ATM and take care of it between us, okay?"

There's a whole world out there for your child, just waiting for them to grab hold and speak to it in it's preferred language. Spain, France, China, Germany, Italy, even ESL skills all unlock a door that leads down a staircase that ends in a pool full of rich people saying AY IT'S THAT COOL AMERICAN WHO KNOWS HOW TO TALK LIKE US! And we'll tell you right now, in this day and age, that's FAR more security than any college degree.

So teach your kid to do what Jean-François Champollion did and- what? You don't know Jean-François Champollion? Why, he was the guy who discovered that stone! You know, the one that unlocked all those languages! And these Little Pim bundles are exactly like that stone.

You know, in a completely un-actionable manner of speaking. Hey, we never had these when we were a kid, there ain't no rich foreigners out there to protect US. Learn from our mistakes, kids. Learn from our mistakes.

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