From: Paul Ford

To: Virginia Heffernan

Subject: don’t know who to ask

hey v im in cambodia on assignment for eight weeks. great uncle viktor (u met him at my last reading at housing works) is in hospital with heart problems and will be there for at least two weeks. he has a 98 y old african grey parrot that needs regular hand-feedings and stress medication and he is v worried about it, panicked and doesn’t want to stay in hospital until it’s found a home and since you are basically always home i truly need a favor which i guess now you can guess. the thing is they actually die of loneliness at that age so its urgent to go down to his apartment asap (doorman knows you are coming). i guess full disclosure i should tell you he got it in south africa and its incredibly racist (+ sexist [+ homophobic]) but it learned its racism in 1930s johannesburg so it’s prettttttttttty intense ☹☹☹☹☹ i can’t even type its name but you can guess) so you want to be very careful who comes over. if u need you can get its meds at a special bird place in staten island. will make a great story, though, right?