The 34th season of MTV’s The Challenge — War of the Worlds II — comes out in FIVE DAYS !! So excité! 🤩 Watch the trailer here.

As I said before, the scintillating Allan Aguirre isn’t doing player previews for this season. I personally loved what he did, so just like Mahatma Gandhi, I’m being the change I want to see in the world.

Here are the (less thorough) stats and herstories of Team UK. I released the Team US previews on Wednesday and will publish the Reinforcements and some overarching analysis / superlatives on Monday. I gotta stagger it to keep y’all attention spans werkin’.

To discuss this and literally anything else related to the show (except K***y and E**n because good god GRACIOUS that’s been discussed to death already, C****a too), come join The Challenge subreddit. It’s growing fast and — if I do say so myself — absolutely bitchin’. Full disclaimer: I’m a mod there, so maybe I’m a bit bi.

Without further ado, here are the Brits.

🇬🇧 TEAM UK 🇬🇧

1) Kyle Christie (Geordie Shore 8, 9, 10, and 11; debuted on Vendettas) — veteran and finalist

- 3 previous seasons

- 1 final (3rd place on Vendettas)

- 2–4 elimination record

- Fortes: social game, he’s tall

- Faiblesses: lack of allies on the UK squad

2) Kayleigh Morris (Ex on the Beach UK 2 and 5; Big Brother UK 18; debuted on Vendettas) — veteran

- 2 previous seasons

- Best finish: 6th place

- 3–1 elimination record

- Fortes: grit (in eliminations with Kam), and she has great hair?

- Faiblesses: physical competition, maybe puzzles too

3) Joss Mooney (Ex on the Beach UK 1 and 5; debuted on Vendettas) — veteran and finalist

- 2 previous seasons

- 1 final (2nd place — 40 seconds away from winning Final Reckoning)

- 2–1 elimination record

- Fortes: cardio, good ol’ fashioned headbangers, finals, supportive teammate

- Faiblesses: possibly puzzles

- Distinction: was 40 seconds away from winning Final Reckoning (with Sylvia), despite getting 2 grenades thrown at them during the final. Also part of the only FR duo to play every daily on the season (that is, didn’t enter late and never visited the Redemption House).

4) Georgia Harrison (Love Island UK 3, debuted on WotW1) — rookie and finalist

- 1 previous season

- 1 final (8th place)

- 2–0 elimination record

- Fortes: dailies, social game

- Faiblesses: finals, dehydration

5) Theo Campbell (Love Island UK 3, debuted on WotW1) — rookie and finalist

- 1 previous season

- 1 final (2nd place)

- 1–0 elimination record

- Fortes: endurance, he’s REAL tall, running (he ran track)

- Faiblesses: math(s)

6) Zahida Allen (Ex on the Beach UK 6, debuted on WotW1) — rookie

- 1 previous season

- Best finish: 18th place

- 1–1 elimination record

- Fortes: she has good hair

- Faiblesses: brute strength, endurance, strategy

7) Stephen “Bear” Bear (Shipwrecked UK 8, Ex on the Beach UK 3 and 5, and Celebrity Big Brother UK 18; debuted on WotW1) — rookie

- 1 previous season

- Best finish: 13th place (but won Celebrity Big Brother UK)

- 2–1 elimination record

- Fortes: dailies, endurance, puzzles

- Faiblesses: social game, target on his back

8) Rogan O’Connor (Ex on the Beach UK 2 and 3, debuted on Vendettas) — rookie

- 1 previous season

- Best finish: first purged on Vendettas

- 0–0 elimination round

- Fortes: brute strength (he’s huge)

- Faiblesses: pre-existing back injury

DEBUTS 1️⃣🔜

And then we have the debuts, which I know much less about, so I used their Challenge bios to choose their fortes/faiblesses, and included a fun fact for each!

9) Tula “Big T” Fazakerley (Shipwrecked UK 9) — debut

- Fortes: mental strength, determination

- Faiblesses: physical imposition

- Fun Fact: her nickname is Big T because of her small breasts

10) Sean Lineker (Shipwrecked UK 9) — debut

- Fortes: fitness freak, military upbringing, he won Shipwrecked

- Faiblesses: ??

- Fun fact: he’s a gay man and the sole LGBTQ+ member of the UK squad

11) Nicole Bass (Ex on the Beach UK 6) — debut

- Fortes: hyper-competitive

- Faiblesses: confrontational

- Fun fact: she’s best friends with Georgia

12) Idris Virgo (Love Island UK 4) — debut

- Fortes: raw athleticism, physical abilities

- Faiblesses: comes into the game with no allies

- Fun fact: he’s a professional boxer (like Darrell)

13) Jennifer “Jenny” West (Survival of the Fittest UK) — debut

- Fortes: raw athleticism, strength, and size

- Faiblesses: comes into the game with no allies

- Fun fact: she’s an actual bodybuilder, Cara who?

14) Esther Falana (BKchat LDN) — debut

- Fortes: she’s a single mom so she might be more motivated to win money for her kid?

- Faiblesses: outspoken, comes into the game with no allies

- Fun fact: she’s our first crossover from a YouTube show. Maybe this means we’ll see Jenna Marbles, Tyler Oakley, Lilly Singh, or Jake Paul in the future?