Let me say it: I hate this country.

I hate how most of the politicians running this country are idiots, are corrupt, or both. I hate how many of this country’s citizens continue to vote for the same incompetent characters every election. I hate that votes can easily be bought from our countrymen because they have so little to begin with.

I hate how our “leaders” continue to take advantage of the people and our taxes. I hate how such “leaders” pocketed the aid money that was intended for the victims of Tropical Storm “Sendong.” I hate how illegal logging was responsible for the deaths of more than a thousand people during the same tropical storm. I hate how corruption lets activities like illegal logging keep on happening.

I hate how my hard-earned taxes go to the Louis Vuitton bags of people like the supposed mastermind of the pork barrel scam. I hate how only an elite few control the levers of power in this country and forget to take care of the other 80-million-plus people living in the same space. I hate how a few centuries ago, we were a proud and strong race, but are now reduced to being servants of all—caregivers and nurses in countries outside our own.

I hate having an inefficient transportation system. I hate having to wait almost forever just to get inside a cramped train filled with the body odors of passengers from all walks of life. I hate having to stand in a bus that moves recklessly on the highways of Manila and whose passengers have to hang on for dear life.

I hate having to endure endless traffic. I hate having roads that are always “under repair” when the election campaign season is near, even when these roads are in a perfectly good condition. I hate having to pay more for traveling within the Philippines than traveling outside to places such as Singapore or Hong Kong. I hate having to endure poor traveling conditions just to go and see the wonderful tourist places that this country can offer.

I hate it that most of the attention always seems to be focused on Metro Manila. I hate it that areas outside Metro Manila seem to be given no importance, the news networks all agog when something even minor happens in Manila but barely making noise when it concerns the provinces. I hate it that the capital is overcrowded, with people who think their only goal in life should be to keep adding to the growing population. I hate it that people from the provinces get looked down upon. I hate it that privileged students from the top schools have absolute no idea what life is the provinces is like. I hate it that many people still believe the Philippines is only Metro Manila.

I hate how so many Filipinos cannot afford to feed themselves and have to resort to eating “pagpag” (leftover food dumped in the garbage). I hate seeing a small child (who is most likely part of a syndicate) go inside a jeepney to distribute envelopes for alms. I hate how so many of our countrymen still live in shanties. I hate it that people die because we do not have adequate health facilities, hospitals, doctors and health workers to take care of the ailing.

I hate how disasters keep striking this country year after year and our only response is to say that the Filipino spirit is strong/resilient, and we continue making the same mistakes leading to the same disasters. I hate it when the media feed useless trash to the public and prevent it from thinking about more important issues (that do not concern Vhong Navarro and his beating incident).

I hate it when brilliant people I know choose to leave this country because there are better opportunities outside where they can best develop their talents (and sadly, this country cannot offer the same options to them). I hate it when mothers and fathers have to leave home to work abroad because they cannot find a job in this country that can sustain their loved ones, and consequently produce a dysfunctional family with spoiled children who see their parents as mere providers of material things.

There are so many things I hate. Most of all, I hate it when I always try to find a justification for this country. I hate it that I have to find myself scrambling for answers to queries from relatives if I have plans to settle abroad. I hate the thought of actually leaving this country, but I sometimes find myself entertaining the thought of actually leaving in order to have a comfortable and secure future—in a land where proper health care is readily available.

I hate it that I found words of inspiration and motivation to stay and fight for this country from a British man, not from a fellow Filipino! I hate how I find so many European volunteers appreciating this country, and they are probably more Filipino in heart than I can ever be. I hate it that as each year passes, I find myself growing more and more discontented with this country. I hate how the strong idealism I had after graduation is being chipped away as I get older.

I hate getting frustrated that whatever effort I make does not appear to have any lasting impact.

I hate how I keep on believing there is still hope for this country to turn around. To quote from “Brokeback Mountain”: I wish I could quit you.

Angeli P. Diamante, 24, says she is a “supply chain ninja” at Gandang Kalikasan Inc.

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