Apologies to the childlike spirit residing deep within your hardened New Yorker exterior, but we’re about to ruin the whimsy of time capsules for you. At least it’s Friday! (Oh.)

On Wednesday, the NYC transit authority dug deep beneath the MTA headquarters in downtown Brooklyn to unveil a time capsule that had been buried there back in 1950 B.S.(Before Sexting). What could this exciting 64-year-old discovery reveal about the way our fine metropolis operated way back when? Well, “the contents looked more like chunky tomato soup rather than a catalog of city transit.” Yep, it was a time capsule full of garbage water.

To be fair, soaking within the disgusting sludge was a barely readable newspaper, a totally ruined old nickel, and “useless” microfilm construction plans. Combined, the whole thing was worth 5 cents. God, people from the ‘50s were such cheapskates.