It’s no revelation that the majority of America is asleep at the wheel (both figuratively and literally). I get it. People are really busy taking the kids to soccer, sitting glued to American Idol, and buying up $300 pairs of Nikes manufactured in Vietnam for $1.68/each. No one has the time or energy to care about trivial things like the killing of 5,000+ Americans or heads of state breaking international law. The common folks are just too preoccupied to realize that they’re paying multi-billion dollar companies welfare, all while complaining about “ghetto queens” buying a $3 Red Bull with an EBT card. I feel for these people whose few spare moments are consumed with the socially necessary memorization of sports statistics and analysis of who sportsed the hardest at sports this week. It is because of this empathy that I felt compelled to write a summary public service announcement which will inform people on proper behavior in our newly transformed society. I’m calling it…

Know Your Place

If you are a member of the ruling class or their protectors you may:

If you are a member of the underclass you may:

Of course, in the grand scheme of things, these are merely a drop in the bucket, but they should be sufficient to give folks a general idea of where each group stands in the eyes of the American injustice system. Please, tell me again about how we should only be worried about racist cops. Tell me again how it’s mayor De Blasio’s fault for people being angry at the police. Tell me again how this double standard is just some kind of false narrative put forth by the evil media. What’s that line in the pledge of allegiance? “With liberty and justice for all” Hardly.