Senator Aqua Buddha is taking time out from his brogressive campaign to keep you from being droned off to eternity while you're journaling at Starbucks to take on another cause -- the Obamofascist war on doughnuts. Arise, ye prisoners of starvation...

Sen. Rand Paul warned Americans that the federal government is targeting doughnuts, the latest example of the oppressive nanny state in America."They're coming after your doughnuts!" the Kentucky Republican said, referring to the Food and Drug Administration decision to ban trans fats. Paul added that if the FDA was banning trans fats, the employees of the agency should be forced to get healthy themselves. "I say we should line every one of them up. I want to see how skinny or how fat the FDA agents are that are making the rules on this," Paul said.

Of course, it is possible to make very delicious doughnuts without trans-fats -- Krispy Kreme seems to be doing quite well, as is Dunkin Donuts, which crushed the Kremers in the battle for New England, and neither of them use trans-fats. -- and, of course, Senator Aqua Buddha is as dumb as a stump, and he believes any crazy theory his speechwriters can steal, but I'm wondering if there aren't wheels within wheels here. Can you think of a better way to be Christie's running mate than sticking up for doughnuts? I can't.

Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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