Two Medieval Monks Invent Dinner Parties

Previously in this series: Two monks invent Christian denominations.

MONK #1: lets throw a dinner party

big feast

invite everybody over

MONK #2: oh yes for sure lets

MONK #1: whats good to eat, what do people like for dinner

MONK #2: one single peacock

MONK #1: will that be enough do you think

MONK #2: well that’s what dinner is

a single peacock

so it better be

MONK #1: ok

MONK #2: people will know what to expect so theyll be prepared anyway

MONK #1: ok

MONK #1: should we have anything else ready though

just in case

MONK #2: look im telling you

dinner is a single bird

feathers on

all its feathers still on

on a big plate

thats literally what dinner is

MONK #1: ok

MONK #1: sorry i didnt mean to be difficult

MONK #2: dont feel bad about it

i mean it was a little embarrassing but dont worry about it

MONK #1: ok

thanks

MONK #1: i forget if with dinner parties do people usually have normal eyes and smiling faces, or –

MONK #2: red eyes and despair

MONK #1: okay i was pretty sure that was the one

MONK #2: just very red eyes and sorrow and pushing plates away

MONK #1: ok good

MONK #2: that’s how you know its dinner

MONK #1: how many ships with a nun on them should we have for the party do you think

MONK #2: hm

theres what

eighteen, twenty people coming?

MONK #1: i think so

MONK #2: i think two

MONK #1: ok

MONK #2: yeah for that many people you definitely need at least one, maybe two, but for sure one at least

MONK #1: should we have a cup of horror do you think

MONK #2: yes definitely



MONK #1: how many tables do you think we should have

MONK #2: oh one for everyone who wants to eat gold shapes

and then just a hot pig area for whoever wants to touch some hooves for dinner

MONK #1: should we get a table for the hoof people or

MONK #2: no

fuck them

let em stand

MONK #1: what about anyone who wants to come that isn’t a king or a —

MONK #2: make em eat circles and sit on the grass



MONK #1: i forget if dinner is at tables or where everyone sits

MONK #2: carefully on different branches in a tree with no one facing in the same direction

MONK #1: oh right yeah

MONK #2: all up in a bunch of trees pointing in directions of each other

MONK #1: do you think most people will be wanting to wear clothes

MONK #2: four hats maximum, nothing else

MONK #1: what about if they want to wear a cloak or something

MONK #2: absolute clothing maximum is four hats overall

no exceptions



MONK #1: should we have a surprise live goat on the table

MONK #2: umm idk are we trying to have a party??

haha yeah of course we should



MONK #1: ive never really cooked before

do you think that will be a problem

MONK #2: whats to know

sit on a sad fat deer near some cactus plants

chop at its head with your axe

MONK #2: then put it in a fire square and youre done

youre overthinking this

MONK #1: ok thanks

sorry i dont mean to be trouble

MONK #2: no its fine you’ll be great

you’re learning, its fine