ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

In what his political counterparts have denounced as a ‘special condition’ catered for his own electorate in South East Sydney, Scott Morrison today announced that hooning about on a jetski is considered exercise.

Speaking to the media this morning from Cronulla, the Prime Minister said if you don’t consider riding a jetski to be exercise, then you should try it before you knock it.

“I have hooned about on a jet ski, most recently in Hawaii, and let me tell you, it takes a strong grip and a bit of old fashioned panache to hold on!” he laughed.

“Honestly, I rode one in Tuvalu last year and I stacked it at like full pelt. The water ripped my rashie right off me.”

The Prime Minister then threw his hands back and said he’d better get back to work.

“I’ve fed the cooks enough for today.”

Nevertheless, the news has been met with great joy here in the Diamantina Shire with a successful local concreter telling The Advocate today that he can’t wait to get out on the lake and chase some pelicans about.

“Not just the pelicans,” said Alistair Davidson, owner-operator of Betoota Heights business, Davison Concreting and Basket-Weaving.

“The gulls, the foundering pigeons. You haven’t heard a thud until you’ve run over a carp the size of a fat man’s Labrador. It’s like giving an old 1 iron the beans and middling it, the whack is the stuff that makes dead men bar up I swear to fucking Moses and the flaming bush, mate,”

“And the PM’s right. You hoon about on one of these screaming water hogs for two hours and you’ll bloody know about it!”

More to come.