Let's face it: Most parents don't really have a plan for their kids. They kind of just tell them to go play on their own and make sure the matches are out of reach and the liquor cabinet stays locked. And maybe that's for the best, because when fathers decide to get too involved with mentoring their kids, things can get a bit weird ...

5 Father Refuses to Speak to His Son in Anything but Klingon

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The most underrated benefit of having children is that you are free to conduct experiments on them to your heart's content. You've got your own little human being, why not tinker with it? That's why D'Armond Speers decided that, rather than teach his son, Alec, a traditional second language like Spanish or German, he was going to speak to him exclusively in Klingon, a made-up fantasy language that has never been used to conduct a single professional conversation in the history of time. Just to see what would happen.

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"Mom! Johnny just called me 'The honorless bastard of a bi'hnuch'!"

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As a student of linguistics at Georgetown University, Speers was curious to see if a fabricated language like Klingon would be more or less difficult for a child to learn than a real language that might actually come in handy later. He also insists that he isn't a hardcore Star Trek fan while maintaining a straight face, which must have taken a heroic effort considering he admits to owning a Klingon costume and being the only person in America trying to raise a child to be fluent in Klingon in the same interview.

Maximilian Reininghaus viaWikipedia

"What's weird about this? Those are back scratchers."

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To be fair, it's not like the kid won't learn English -- Alec's mother refuses to speak to Alec in anything but English. So, in theory, the child will be fluent in both, and Speers insists it's no different from teaching a child Spanish. However, when you consider that there are almost 500 million Spanish-speaking people in the world today, and approximately two dozen Klingon speakers, some flaws in Speers' reasoning become immediately apparent.