I’m pretty sure that to those of us who reside in the land of the geek the most emotive two words in the English language are “HULK SMASH”. It doesn’t matter what comic, what film, which actor; the simple determination of action from a giant, angry, muscle-bound Greenskin should send shivers down your spine. This week my own particular greenskins did some smashing of their own, and they liked it.

I was able to get in 5 games in total this week during lunch breaks at work. Still only a few weeks into the game, still learning, but having a lot of fun doing it. I’ve evolved my deck quite considerably since last time, helpful tips on facebook from a couple of folk and Tom Bond’s exceptionally helpful article. I’m pretty happy with where it is right now, it seems to be working.

The grey light of dawn pierced through the mist that seemed to perpetually cover the city. As the fractured beams shone through the haze Dexta opened his eyes. Another dawn, another resurrection. He rubbed his neck where the Goldies blade had severed his head from his body the day before. Somewhere in his primal brain a memory flashed, a memory of fleeting pain. It made him angry, as was the way of his race. Almost anything could make an Orruk angry, not feeling invincible was one of those things. The surge of internal violence hauled him to his feet and had him reaching for his choppaz. Around him his boyz responded, all climbing to their feet expecting an attack. They weren’t bright, they weren’t clever, but they were always ready for a fight. The haze caught the light of their beady glowing eyes. As they breathed in an out the fog swirled before them, making it look like the air in front of their eyes was on fire. Dexta was about to tell them to stand down when something passed through the fog at great speed, almost cutting a line through it. And embedded itself in Hakka’s head with a dull think. The Ironjaw grabbed it and pulled it out with a sickening squelch and spray of dark blood, Hakka examined the object. Another object sliced through the fog, this one throwing up sparks as it glanced of Basha’s red armour. “Right Ladz, get fightin’!” Dexta roared.

My first game of the week was against Abi, she is running Farstriders, a lot of people in the group seem to favour Goldies, which is fine, cause I like hacking them up. This game was super tense and really close, in fact too close to call. We made some mistakes (like board deployment being a wrong) we’re both learning, but got most of the game right. Despite trading 2 of her Farstriders for one of my Orruks the game finished with 6 glory each. Alone in the Darkness literally pulling me from 4-6 down to 6 all at the end of the game. Then as neither of us had wiped out the other and we were tied on objectives it went all the way to a draw! We weren’t playing match play rules so no sudden death or anything.

Abi managed her objectives really well, she couldn’t go toe to toe with me so avoided being in a bad spot. Little did she know that running her final mini into my half of the board would stop me being able to score the only other viable objective in my hand at the end of phase three. Good match play gave her the gaming edge to put me on catch up, despite me having wrecked two of her warband. A trait in this game that I really like.

My next two games were against Alex, again running Farstriders. They’re dishonourable so and so’s with their shooting and things, that’s not propa fightin’. Again we were learning and made a bunch of mistakes but that’s cool, it’s why we’re all trying to get some games in before we start the league. I forgot to take any photos of these games but they were both very close. I edged them on a VP draw and then by one victory point, so that’s 3 games in a row without a loss. My Warboss carrying his delusions of divinity was beginning to believe his own hype.

To finish the week off I played Joe, we played last week and it went in my favour, but some deck modding has been done since then, and some more painting. Joe’s Stormcast are now pretty much all fully painted (just the rims of those bases to go, c’mon finish them!) and the board looked excellent as a result.

It started well, I hit Joe hard and fast. Dexta and the Bludsplattaz went to town choppin’ up the armoured Stormcast in double quick time. So we decided to play another game. Joe had been unhappy with his card draw from the first game, and was happier the second time around. So was I.

Rather than engaging Joe forced a slower start by keeping his fancy Sigmarites away from the Orruk charge. At the first opportunity I played Shardgale, got all my boys inspired which let me score Heroes All and Alone in the Darkness at the end of the first phase.

In the second phase the boyz charged, now upgraded with lots of +1 damage cards. Getting inspired when you roll a shield is really good, provided you’re alive to enjoy the benefits of those two defense dice, but when the Orcs are hitting for 4… The second game didn’t make it to the third phase. I would feel guilty. But I’m an Orruk.

Dexta pulled his choppa out of the prone corpse. It made a satifying squelch as the flesh beneath the armour resisted the pull. He grinned. The only thing better than feeling immortal because you never really die is feeling immortal because you keep killing other immortals, not that his mind would ever manage the complexities of expressing that emotion. It would take a while for the boyz to calm down, if they ever really did. Once an Ironjaws blood was up for the fight it tended to stay that way. That was good, killin’ meant winnin’ and Dexta was beginning to like that feeling.

I’m sure there are Ironjaw players out there with a lot more experience than me who know the cards a lot better than me, play the game a lot better than me and have much more refined decks, but here’s mine. It’s fast, effective and geared towards hitting harder and faster than whatever is trying to hit me back, from my handful of games it seems to be working. This is the deck I used against Joe.

Ploys Upgrades Objectives 318 Distraction 116 Waaagh! 90 Call of the Waaagh! 320 Duel of Wits 376 Awakened Weapon 92 Dere’s More of Us 343 My Turn 378 Concealed Weapon 93 Get Da Boss 347 Quick Thinker 389 Great Fortitude 234 Advancing Strike 356 Shardgale 391 Great Strength 235 Alone in the Darkness 360 Sidestep 392 Headlong Charge 237 Assassinate 362 Spoils of Battle 393 Helpful Whispers 239 Blooded 365 Tainted Vitality 395 Incredible Strength 252 Defensive Strike 369 Trap 410 Shadeglass Dagger 255 Divide and Conquer 372 Twist the Knife 412 Shadeglass Hammer 261 Heroes All 293 Swift Advance L24 Shining Example

There are so many more cards I’d like to throw in and try but this is working really well at the moment. The trick I’m itching to pull off though is an opening of Shardgale followed by Tainted Vitality. “Oh look. All the boyz are inspired and damage free…”

All my objectives are low scoring, giving me a max glory of 13 +kills, which from what I can tell should be more than enough to deal with most things. Get the glory and play upgrades as fast as possible, that’s kunnin’ enough for me.

I’ve finally finished building the rest of the warbands I bought a few weeks ago, so now it’s just time to decide what to paint next. Whatever I settle upon it is very unlikely to end up the colours they are on the box.

Next Time: Something else should be painted!

If you play X-Wing you can find my blog about that here.