Ask an Admin (Admins being the term for Reddit employees) is a weekly column connecting Redditors and Upvoted readers with the people behind-the-scenes at Reddit. Got a question for Greg the Admin? Email him at askanadmin@reddit.com.

Would you rather fight one horse-sized duck, or 100 duck-sized horses? How would you do it?

– Reddit user Shastapete

Well, this is kinda it, isn’t it? THE question that reigns above all other questions within the Reddit community, written in the 10 Reddit commandments and passed down through generations. The Grand-Poobah, the big cheese, answer 42, if you will.

I get that this is a fun question, because it’s silly and it makes you think about animals in different sizes—but honestly, as long as I’ve ever seen this question exist, the answer has always been clear to me. I believe fighting 100 duck-sized horses is far and away the better choice, both for conserving one’s energy and in fighting to the death.

Here’s why: Fighting one large animal would be difficult enough, no matter the species of animal. Think of the weakest horse-sized animal you can? You can’t think of one, because any animal that is at least the size of a horse is already strong than us. A really, really large ostrich, maybe? But those suckers are still powerful. I believe that if you scaled a duck up to the size of a horse it becomes, by default, instantly stronger than a human and therefore, unbeatable. One flap of a giant duck wing would hit you like the whip of an alligator tail, or, for example, the kick of a horse. Then add to that the fact that ducks can actually fly— you’re dealing with a pterodactyl that’ll always have the higher ground. You can’t win that fight.

Now I know what you’re saying to yourself: “But 100 horses would run into your legs, you’d be swarmed by them, you’d never survive!” Again, I think we have to think about scaling down an animal now, just as we did when we scaled up the duck. You could kick a cat, a turtle, any small animal, and they would instantly realize how overpowering you are. The same should apply to tiny horses.

So let’s say you kick one horse and boom, it’s insta-injured. The entire herd just saw what happened, and they’re going to know that they don’t want none of that. Alright, but let’s say these are ravage horses who want blood and aren’t deterred by one of their fellow horses going down—this is when you introduce the “Power Jump” technique. Yes, if it was a fight to the death, I would just keep jumping up and down until I squished every last duck-sized horse. I am an animal.

I asked around the office to see how other admins would take on the challenge:

Reddit user rrmickinley: I’d rather fight one horse-sized duck. I’m on team mammal. Killing or injuring 100 tiny horses is not appealing. A horse-sized duck, however, is basically a dinosaur. Yeah, I could fight that if I had to.

Reddit user comeforthlazarus: I’d fight 100 duck-sized horses and one horse-sized duck simultaneously. I enjoy a challenge.

Reddit user donotlicktoaster: One-hundred horses, carpet bombing.

Reddit user florwat: Really, I would rather befriend one horse-sized duck.

Reddit user xiongchiamiov: 100 duck-sized horses. Do it once, then write a shell script to automate it for the other 99.

Reddit user youngluck: I’d rather fight 100 horse-sized ducks ’cause horses are smart, and ducks are clumsy—even more so at a larger scale. I choose 100 of them because they are easily beaten in numbers, their movements more predictable when they flock. They’d no doubt attack with a flying V… Which is strong… But no match for my flying D. The flying D is unbeatable.

Reddit user zeantsoi: Horse-sized duck. If I win, I’m playing Luke-in-the-Tauntaun with it. If I lose, at least it’s to an opponent whose huge mouth resembles a Sarlacc pit. God, I can’t wait for Dec. 17th.

Reddit user sodypop: I’m sort of a pacifist, so I’m not super keen on fighting anything. (Except mosquitos, because seriously they have no evolutionary purpose for existing as far as I can tell. I took pleasure in a game I invented in the woods this summer I dubbed mosquito pinch.)

However, given the requirement to fend for my own safety against 100 tiny horses, or a giant duck, I think my best advantage would be against the tiny horses. At worst I think they would be an ankle-biting nuisance, and since I played soccer as a child I imagine myself being able to kick and stomp my way to safety. Furthermore, I don’t think I have the life skills to wrassle anything considerably larger than me. Plus the thought of being defeated by something soft and feathery would add insult to the injury, so the giant duck would also begin with a psychological advantage. On the flip side, I do enjoy bad jokes and puns, so despite being defeated by a giant duck I’d at least be able to have the epitaph of “Bill killed bill.”

Reddit user drunken_economist: As so many pedantic redditors have pointed out over the years, a horse-sized duck would collapse under its own weight due to the square-cube law. But let’s ignore that since it makes the question worthless. In a B-movie world where a rogue scientist creates an embiggenment beam and ducks can survive when they’re the size of horses, I’d still match up against the giant duck.

Humans didn’t become the dominant species (mice excluded, of course) on this planet by being strong, fast, or having great senses. We’re just the best at using tools, no other animal even comes close. Sure, ~~crows~~ **jackdaws** can solve puzzles and chimps use sticks to dig up termites, but that’s child’s play compared to humans; no other animal has created machine guns or the wheel or one-hour Amazon delivery. With that in mind, I don’t think the giant duck nor the minihorses would cause much trouble . . . you’d just have to use a different tool. Buckshot for the duck, birdshot for the horses.

So after all that, why did I pick the big duck? Simple. Thanksgiving is just around the corner and a giant roast duck sounds absolutely delicious.

Reddit user jophuds: Five simple steps.

Choose Opponent: One horse-sized duck known as Gerald.

Choose Soundtrack: Something Gerald dislikes. Likely to have an unusual time signature, possibly jazz. Ducks have notoriously bad rhythm. There are no documented instances of a duck (of any size) ever writing or playing anything other than terrible music.

Verbals: Mock Gerald about the fact that he isn’t king of the ducks or even held in any esteem by other ducks because all the other ducks don’t give a shit about how big he is. They just dislike Gerald’s point of view on the world and the fact he is always running around fighting people.

Modify terms: There is no way I can beat Gerald in straight hand to wing combat. I need to enter into negotiations with Gerald. This is complicated but I channel Jack Donaghy from 30 Rock and using the Donaghy Method convince Gerald to engage in a game of trivia based entirely on the TV show Father Ted.

Victory.

Reddit user kirbyrules: I’d rather fight one horse-sized duck. I would shoot it, de-feather it, clean it, cook the most delicious (and biggest) Peking Duck this world has ever seen, and win a Guinness World Record for it.