The real action at CPAC isn’t up on stage, it’s buried in Craigslist M4M ads

Milo may have had his invitation rescinded, but let’s not fool ourselves thinking he was the only gay in the village.

The Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), Washington D.C.’s annual gathering of regressive thinkers from all walks of life, actually has a cruisey gay underbelly.

Last year we heard from some of these exotic birds when a journalist roamed the halls and arranged interviews via Grindr.

Related: Hear From Closeted Gay Republicans Cruising Grindr At CPAC

This year we have a few deeper glimpses into their mating rituals through Craigslist personals. Yep, those things are still around.

Here’s what’s going on around the convention that Mike Pence probably isn’t going to mention during his key note address:

“Any other CPAC guys here?” begins one innocent-sounding ad.

Then he gets to the meat of it:

“I’m looking for one or more guys who want to have some fun. Will be here til Sunday. Maybe we could meet at the reception tonight, or over a drink at the bar…or f*ck it, we could just go back to my room and dive right in. Got room to myself the rest of the week/end (girlfriend had to leave), so I’m ready to let a little loose.”

Charming, his girlfriend is one lucky lady.

Related: Trump-Inspired M4M Craigslist Ads Have Skyrocketed

Another ad from a man who signs off as just “Dad” is searching for different kind of Red State Special:

“If you are a real hot boy, who is clean and discreet and thinks straight, like I do and you have a certain ‘itch’ that need scratching, please contact this ‘DILF’, next door type who is a great lover and a really nice man and the possessor of just what you need! You should do this. It will be good for you and make you a happier boy. HMU.” Love,

Dad

Then there’s the guy looking for a “cornfed Republican,” and preferably someone like “those Romney boys.”

They’re all yours, we’ll pass.

And let’s not leave out the “CPAC Aryan mil jock ISO dom owner,” because he just sounds like a real catch.

Will these guys find what they’re looking for? Will Ben Carson fall asleep on stage? Will Ricky Perry answer one or more of these ads?

The world may never know.