Posted on April 27, 2011

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Editor’s note: The new game “Portal 2″ from Valve has lots of people talking, especially about the tremendous dialogue found throughout the game. Here is a transcript of one of the game’s more wacky robot characters, the Jace Core that you use during the game to … well, we won’t spoil it for you.

Jace. Jace. Gotta run four Jace. Yes, please. Gotta run four Jace. Jace. Wanna run four Jace. Please lady. Four Jace. Gotta run four Jace. Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba! Jace! Ba! Ba! Ba ba ba ba! Ba ba ba! Play it cool. Play it cool. Here comes the Jace cops. Help me Jace cops. Jace cops help. Wanna see me? Check Friday Night Magic. Wanna see me? Check Friday Night Magic. Gonna run four Jace. Jace. Jace. Wanna run four Jace. In my Jace sleeves. In my Jace deckbox. Jace. Jace. Jace. Ooh. Lady. Ooh. Lady. Ooh. Lady. Let’s run four Jace. Come here, Jace! I have a secret for you! No, come closer. Come closer, Jace. Jace. What’s your favorite thing about Jace? Mine is Jace. Jace. Trial. Putting the system on trial. For Jace. Guilty! Guilty! The system is guilty. Four Jace. Going to Jace jail! For running less than four Jace. Dad! I’m running four Jace! I’m proud of you, son. Yeah! Four Jace! I’m so proud of you. Now we are a family again. Four Jace, a family. Jace, Jace, Jace and little Jace. Gonna run four Jace! Can’t wait. Jace. Jace. Gotta run four Jace. Can’t wait. Gotta sideboard. Sideboard in four Jace. Run four Jace, side in four Jace. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. OK. OK. Yes, please. Four Jace. Four Jace. Four Jace. Hey lady. Hey lady. Hey lady. Hey lady. Hey lady. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Jace. Jace. Jace. Jace. Jace. Wanna run four Jace. Fateseal. Brainstorm. Unsummon. Exile. Loyalty. Jace. Jace. I’m gonna meet Jace! What’ll I say? What’ll I say? Hi, Jace. Hi, Jace. Oh, I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. I know. Hey lady. Hey lady. I’m the best at Jace. I’m the best at Jace. Unsummon. I know. I know. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. What’s the holdup? Four mana. Four mana. Four mana. Cast Jace. Cast Jace. Gotta run four Jace. Cast Jace. Hey lady. Cast Jace. Judge Jace presiding. Guilty! Of being Jace. Jace says I’m guilty of being Jace.

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I’m running four Jace! I’m running four Jace! Jace! Jace! Cast Jace! I cast Jace! I cast Jace! Jace. Jace. Jace. Jace. Jace. Jace. Jace. Jace. Jace. Jace. Jace. Jace. Oh! This is four Jace! This is four Jace in every deck! Jace! Jace! We made it! We made it! Jace! Jace. Jace. Jace is boring. Don’t like Jace. Don’t like four Jace. Wanna rotate formats. Wanna rotate formats. Wanna rotate formats. Wanna rotate formats. Wanna rotate formats. Four Jace in every deck. Four Jace in every deck. Don’t like Jace. Don’t like Jace. Jace. Jace. Jace is boring. Don’t like Jace. Bam, bambam bam. Take that, Jace. Take me to set rotation. Jace. Don’t like four Jace. Don’t like four Jace. Too many. Too many. Too many. Wanna rotate sets. JAAAAAAAAAAAACE.

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