Lot Lice

Anton Szandor LaVey

Into everyone’s life appear individuals who just don’t seem to want to go away. They surface in many forms, but have certain common denominators. They are epitomized by the guy who is 86’ed from the local bar for stirring up shit, falling through the plate glass door and suing, welching on bar tabs, and carelessly almost setting the place on fire. A week after he is told his business is no longer welcome, he pops in and tries to cadge a drink from his old buddy, the bartender. Just like nothing had happened.

In the circus, they are referred to as “lot lice” – winos who, no matter how many times they are given the bum’s rush, keep coming back and hanging around. They drop their lit cigarette butts in the sawdust right next to the Big Top during a sellout performance.

Actually, they are easy enough to deal with, but it means a little cutting off of the milk of human kindness.

… no matter how many times [“lot lice”] are given the bum’s rush, [they] keep coming back and hanging around.”

The Church of Satan, like any operation, has always had its share of lot lice. There are simple ways of dealing with them. The first is the “Freeze.” that means that no mention is made of them, no phone calls are returned, and there is no way they can sneak under the tent flap (retain any social benefits, while ostracized, in a casual or roundabout manner).

Certain outmoded responses still work, because they are so straightforward. If detained or engaged by lot lice of any stripe, i.e. unwanted persons, dialogue is disastrous. Verbal communications must be confined to such simplistic and readily understood statements as, “Get lost!”, “Take a hike!”, “I got nothing to say to you, go away, you smell bad!”, “You’re bad news!”, “Go peddle your papers!”, “Somebody get that bum outta here!”, “Are you still hanging around?”, or that succinct but lucid directive, “Go fuck yourself!”

Unfortunately, political correctness and increased concern for the rights of others, however unworthy, has encouraged lot lice, who cannot possibly understand why anyone should take exception to their M.O., let alone ostracize or hold a grudge against them. After all, are they not still a part of “the occult community” and what’s a little difference among colleagues? It is precisely this attitude that maintains “dialogue,” better spent on productive comrades, than on contentious, malcontent, and parasitic lot lice.

Remember: you give their lives meaning. They need you. You don’t need them. Even as their sworn enemy, you represent a presence in their otherwise barren and rejected identities. That’s why lot lice will always be found hanging around the Big Top. And they always have plenty of criticism and advice on how the show should be run. And no matter how many times a bartender kicks their ass out onto the sidewalk, a few days later, they’ll still poke their ugly faces in the door to see the action inside.

At least know them for what they are, and deal with them accordingly. You’ll have a lot less frustration.

The Black Flame

Volume 6, Number 3 & 4

Whole Number 15

ISSN 1523-410X

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