Fat Privilege is having a social movement that says being unhealthy is beautiful.

Land Whale Privilege is having no restrictions on caloric consumption short of financial means. Land Whale Privilege is being able to spend the most time smelling the delicious fryer grease while ordering at McDonald’s.

Land Whale Privilege struck today when I went to order a Big Mac, but instead learned that the inventory had already been consumed in its entirety by the Privileged few in front of me.

Those bulbous Bourgeios and their caloric elitism doomed the others in line to the starving, underweight depths of the gastronomical proletariat.

Let society’s ears not be deaf to the cries of our underfed struggle.