Kathleen Kennedy’s top lieutenant has up and disappeared from the Lucasfilm leadership site, leading many to believe that Kiri Hart has been dismissed or somehow leveraged her 7-year stint at the company into gainful employment elsewhere. The truth is even more unbelievable.

According to our source who goes by the name Pablo, Hart was the lead on many disappointing Star Wars game projects by EA. Tasked with helping the game developers and writers create a narrative consistent within the Star Wars universe, the creative executive did the exact opposite.

“At first EA thought Kiri was trolling us… but no, she seriously made them create Darth Icky and Darth Insanious based on an old George Lucas comment… I don’t think she realized Lucas was joking. Kiri was also behind the in-game transaction debacle that nearly tanked Battlefront 2. Oh, and that rejiggered and now cancelled open-world Star Wars game… take a guess who was also advising on that one?” said Pablo.

Despite her troubles with EA, Hart was still the top candidate to take over for Kennedy after she steps down once work on Episode IX ends. So what really happened?

Pablo believes Hart was simply taking after her mentor, so she went underground. It’s true that Kennedy hasn’t made many public appearances in the last 18 months, outside of the rare honorary Oscar ceremony. That spirit seems to have infected Hart.

“One day Kiri just stopped coming into the office… we thought she was working from home or traveling, but after a few months, we realized something was up. She still hasn’t returned my text from last October asking if she was on vacation. I think I slacked her in December asking if she was my secret santa… but I got nothing in reply.”

No one as Lucasfilm knows what happened to Hart. She doesn’t answer her smartphone or home phone. Neighbors haven’t seen her either. Speculation is rampant that she may be holed up in Kennedy’s secret compound — a heavily guarded fallout shelter for when Star Wars inevitably implodes under Disney.

While the situation is bizarre, not everyone who has disappeared has actually disappeared. Pablo Hidalgo – not to be confused with our source – has also had his page disappear from the Lucasfilm website, but a quick look at Twitter confirms he is alive and well. Insiders believe Hidalgo is more than willing to replace Hart.

“I may not have as much experience in writing films, but I know my lore… and I would never ghost anyone. Maybe force ghost them but that is all. El oh el” said Hidalgo via holonet.

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—William “Willybobo” Bobo