

Hey guys...i havent posted on this site in a long time...and i dont quite remember this forum..so im not sure how many people will see this in here but i want to post it anyway



i know the trip report is very long, but i had a lot to say about that night and only one chance to say it all



Sorry in advance for whatever grammar/spelling mistakes...my major was not even close to english



btw...for those who have read my other trip reports, this is not the same Adam in whose basement who i had my high dose mush trip...strange coincidence though



I appreciate all feedback from those who make it through











The Night of a Thousand Years



Let me take you on a journey









Part 1: Silver Crystal Sugar Cubes





This is not the first time that I have tried to write a trip report about the night that changed my life. Over the last 6 years, I have probably tried at least ten times, maybe even more. But with each attempt, I would find myself feeling completely frustrated. I had too much to say about LSD, with an inadequate vocabulary to express myself.



Why was this attempt finally successful? My first attempts to write a trip report were very soon after the trip actually occurred. But it quickly became apparent that the mystical night was still too overwhelming and scrambled in my mind. I decided that I needed more time to let the experience sink in, so I stopped trying to write the trip report for a while. As months drifted by I found that I was still unable to write. At the time I couldn’t understand why, although now it is quite clear. When the hits of acid wore off that early October morning, my personal trip was actually just beginning. I have spent years since reflecting on myself and processing the many different insights acquired that night. Now, as I write this, years later, enough time has passed for me to have integrated and internalized a lot of the lessons.



There is also another important reason why I am now finally able to write this trip report. It has been years since my last taste of acid. As any tripper will tell you, an LSD experience is truly indescribable. And so as the time has gone by, a lot of the unspeakable aspects of that night have faded from my mind. The incomplete memory which still remains in my head is one that can finally be converted into words. Therefore, although this trip report is a very incomplete description of what actually happened to me that night, it is as complete as my mind and vocabulary will ever allow it to be.





My journey began late one Saturday afternoon at the end of October. The four of us were talking in my friend Adam’s living room when the Silver Crystal Sugar Cubes arrived. Adam, Kevin, Mike and I gathered around the foyer when a girl entered Adam’s house with her friends. She brought with her a handful of the sugar cubes; each one was wrapped up in shiny silver aluminum foil. I was excited because this was to be my first real trip. I had been curious about acid for a while, and although I had one very weak experience before, this would be my real first journey on any psychedelic.



“I just took this acid last night,” The girl said to Adam as she handed him the shiny cubes.



Adam’s eyes lit up with excitement. “How are they?” He asked her eagerly.



Now, over six years later, I can no longer picture this girl’s face. I no longer know what color her hair was, or what she was wearing. But I will never forget her reaction to Adam’s question.



The girl smiled and looked up into the air, gazing at a place far away. There was a strange sparkle in her as she stared out into distant worlds that I could not yet see. She seemed to be radiating a strange energy as she vibrated on a different frequency than us.

“They are the best I’ve ever had.” She answered.





Adam smiled and then the girl was gone. A moment later, Adam, Kevin, and I were upstairs in Adam’s bedroom, huddled around his glowing blacklight. Adam took one of the sugar cubes, carefully peeling away the shiny silver foil, and then held the white block of sugar under the black light. Almost 85% of the white cube was glowing, and it appeared that a drop of acid had been placed on almost every side. He then examined another cube under the light.



"Look at how much acid they put on these things!” Adam exclaimed excitedly as he grinned at Kevin and me. “These are going to be strong!” I was still new to LSD, so this all meant nothing to me. At the time, I thought Adam was just exaggerating. I didn’t believe that each cube more than one hit, nor did I think this acid would be very intense.



I was in for a surprise.







We were standing in the hallway, next to a mirror which was hanging on the wall. Adam and I were now each holding an unwrapped sugar cube. Kevin was holding one also, but he was looking considerably more hesitant than us. This would be his first acid trip as well.



Adam and I counted off, “one…two……….three…” and moments later magical cubes of sugar were dissolving on our tongues. I stood there nervous and excited, holding the acid in my mouth. It was time for my first acid trip! I knew that there was no turning back now, but nothing in this world could have prepared me for the life changing experience that I had just signed myself up for.



Kevin still hadn’t eaten his acid yet. “Maybe I’ll just lick a side!” he said to us. After a minute or two of reassurance, Kevin finally decided to eat his acid too.



And then it was done. Millions of unseen molecules of LSD rushed to all of our brains. Although nothing had happened yet, my life was forever changed.



--------------------

*Divine Moments of Truth*





"Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon



"Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead



"Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter



Post Extras:



Part 2: Electric Nervousness and Restless Anticipation



In retrospect, with many more acid trips behind me, I can say that those sugar cubes started to take effect long before I was even aware of it.



The four of us were sitting in Adam’s living room waiting for our friend Alex to arrive. Adam suddenly started to get very restless and impatient. He began pacing back and forth, saying that he wanted to drive the car and meet up with Alex halfway so we could all smoke some weed. This idea made Kevin and me uneasy. Since neither of us had ever tripped before, we didn’t know when or how that acid was going to affect us, and we didn’t want to be in a car when it started. Besides, Adam didn’t even have a driver’s license yet.



Adam was quickly growing more impatient with us. He told us that he would be able to drive fine, and he didn’t want to wait for Alex to walk here. Kevin was somehow able to convince Adam that it would be a better idea to wait outside for Alex. Adam liked that idea, and soon we were all outside on his porch, waiting for Alex to arrive.

As we sat there in the cool autumn chill waiting for Alex, I watched the late evening sky quickly darken. The last rays of the sun faded beneath the horizon. Many lifetimes later, when the sun would finally begin to crawl up from over that horizon, I would be a new human being.



The acid was starting to take effect, although at the time I still didn’t notice it. I wasn’t high, nor did I see any visuals. But as we all sat there on Adam’s porch waiting for Alex, I started to feel a little giddy, and began to laugh at absolutely nothing. There was nothing funny happening, but I needed to release the strange tension that was beginning to build up within me.



Somebody noticed that the lighter was missing. Kevin, Mike, and Adam were debating who had it last, and they all agreed that it was still downstairs in the basement. I was feeling slightly restless, and very antsy, so I volunteered to go back into the house to get it. As I descended the stairs into Adam’s basement, I felt strangely excited and nervous at the same time, and my body tingled with anticipation. After a few moments, I saw that the lighter wasn’t there. I went back outside to tell my friends that the lighter wasn’t downstairs, but they had already found it.



A few moments later Alex appeared down the street. His shadowy figure strolled across the rapidly darkening lawn to greet us. Adam was ready and excited to smoke, and he led the way back into the house. Moments later we were all sitting at his backyard deck. Adam had a joint already rolled, and eagerly lit it up.



Unlike Adam, I was a bit more hesitant to smoke the joint. I wanted to see what the effects of LSD were, and was afraid that combining it with marijuana would change it. I was still completely oblivious to how strong acid indeed could be. However, I had heard that it was good to smoke and relax before an acid trip, and so Kevin and I both took a couple hits. The rest of the joint was finished by Adam, Alex, and Mike. We all sat back and relaxed in the cool October night in a marijuana haze.



*And that’s when the magic began.*



--------------------

*Divine Moments of Truth*





"Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon



"Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead



"Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter



Post Extras:



Part 3: Alive, Awake, and Aware



It would be impossible to say exactly when those hits of acid kicked in. The very subtle effects began long before I was even aware of anything changing. But I clearly remember relaxing in the dark October evening and sinking into the peaceful marijuana high. As I laughed and smiled, I realized that my senses were all becoming a little too sharp. The cold night air was becoming too crisp. And all the colors surrounding us were becoming too crystal and clear. Every sound began to echo with significance and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat. An electric nervousness began to awaken within me.



This is when my acid trip officially began. I sat in the chair on Adam’s deck, staring at his dog cage. The dog cage was made of intersecting horizontal and vertical thin metal bars. As I watched, the silver metal began to glow intensely. And what happened next began as a complete shift in perception. It reminds me of those optical illusion pictures, where you can see an old woman or a young woman, depending on how your brain looks at it. The way my brain perceived the cage began to change. The lines in the back sprung to the front, the lines in the front fell to the back. Suddenly the cage was inside out. And then I was aware of the many patterns being formed by the shapes of the spaces between the bars. The shapes kept rearranging themselves as the bars shifted back and forth in my perception. The whole cage was rapidly changing in dimensions, moving in and out, back and forth, coming to life and breathing. And suddenly the whole cage began to swirl, the shapes started to fractal into a spiral, forming a silver whirlpool, an infinite spiraling grid that looked like a portal to another dimension.



I started laughing hysterically and jumped up out of my seat. I was unable to express the strange thoughts and perceptions that were racing through my head. All I could manage, between fits of laughter, was “The cage! Look!”



“Is your acid kicking in? Try to explain what you are seeing!” Adam said to me excitedly. But I was too amazed to speak. My answer to Adam was more laughing and pointing at the silver portal on his deck.



Moments later Adam stood up laughing. “Oh my god!” he said as he rose up out of his seat. “When I stand up, I feel like I’m a giant! I feel like I’m way above the roof of my house!!”



A few of us stood up to see what he was saying, but as soon as we did, he replied saying “Stop! Don’t follow me! Don’t copy what I’m doing!”



We sat back down. I was feeling giddy, and a strange new ENERGY was rushing through my body.



Adam got up and went over to the grass. Kevin and Alex followed him. I was becoming very awake and restless, so I got up to go explore the rest of the backyard with them. “Stop following me!” Adam yelled to me. “Don’t copy whatever I’m doing! Go back there!”



So I went back and sat on the porch with Mike, watching the wooden boards begin to shine with brighter, almost neon colors. My every sense tingled with over activity. The night was suddenly strangely alive. It felt more like morning than night because the whole universe was starting to awaken all around me.



I looked at Mike, and he was sitting there silently, stoned out of his mind on just pot. He was in another place from me, totally unable to understand how amazing I was feeling right now. I tried to talk to him, but he was freshly stoned and hence not talkative. Looking back, I saw Adam, Alex, and Kevin wandering through the grass, and felt lonely. I needed to be around people who felt the way I did. Finally I got up and joined them on the grass, leaving stoned Mike sitting alone on the deck. By the time I returned to the grass, Adam had already forgotten about us copying what he was doing.



My senses were all so sharp and vibrant. Every sound seemed so vivid, I could almost touch it. I looked down at the wet green grass below me, and watched as the ground seemed to breathe and bend under my feet!



“The ground! It’s melting!” I yelled.



Adam looked down, and then looked up and me and said “No its not!” in an almost condescending manner, staring at me like I was crazy.



“Yea it is!” Kevin replied as he stared at the ground. I felt better after Kevin validated my visuals.



Soon we were all back on the deck. My body was trembling slightly, though I didn’t know if it was from the cold or from the acid energy. It was the end of October and I was just wearing a thin T-shirt. Occasionally one of us would mention that we were cold, but we were all enjoying the night too much to go inside.

I could feel the energy inside me steadily building up, getting stronger and stronger, and knew that I was starting to be launched up.



“You gotta try this acid!” Adam told Alex excitedly, his eyes wide, his face flushed. “It’s amazing!”



Alex agreed to take a sugar cube, and so we all went back inside the house. Adam gave Alex one of his sugarcubes and Alex ate the acid without hesitation. Soon Alex would join us on our journey.





I was amazed at how the world around me was transforming. I had never felt so alive, awake, or aware in my life. But the energy was too much, and it was starting to get hard to maintain a steady train of thought. I felt shaky and a little overwhelmed as it flushed through my body.



“We should go into the basement” Adam said to us. “You guys have never taken acid before, but I can already tell that this acid is really good. This trip is going to become really strong, and we don’t want to be around my parents when they get home.”



When Adam made this statement, he planted the first seed of paranoia into my brain. It was going to get stronger? How much stronger was this going to get? We needed to worry about his parents finding us? When were they coming back? How much stronger was it going to get??? I quickly dismissed the ideas, but the seeds had been planted.



So we all followed Adam’s advice and went downstairs to his basement to play ping pong. We stood around the table and hit the ball back and forth randomly to each other, just having fun. As I leaned against the wall, the white lines on the table began to curve and move. Somebody passed the ball to me, and I excitedly hit the ball too hard. It bounced across the room and Kevin went to get it. “You broke the ball!” Kevin said when he returned with a cracked plastic ball. Oops, I thought to myself. Fortunately they had another ball. I didn’t want to break that one too so I decided to let them play while I explored the basement.



I walked around and looked down at the carpet. The patterns were sharper than I had ever seen. Mike started giving me colorful things to look at. Then he started passing me Adam’s comic books. The colors were bright and the pictures seemed to be moving and coming alive.



It wasn’t just the pictures in the book either. Everything in the room around me was moving and coming alive, and I couldn’t concentrate anymore. There was too much sensual stimulation around me. There was so much to look at, so much to see. I felt like a little kid again, new to the world.



I looked at my hand in awe. Normally I look at my hand and just see “hand”. But now, the acid had deactivated all those filters in my brain that normally screen out everything. Now I was seeing every amazing beautiful detail of my hand. Every line on my palm, every crease, every wrinkle, they all screamed for attention. I was now extremely aware of every curve and contour in my hand, and I was over-sensitized to every slight shade of color.



I felt like a child again, seeing my hand for the first time! I waved my hand in front of my face and watched as multiple after-images of it floated through the air in front of me, glowing colors and slowly fading into the restless moving air.

Eventually Adam stopped playing the ping pong game and came over to me. His eyes were wide with amazement and he was laughing at nothing. Behind him, Kevin and Alex were still passing the ping pong ball back and forth as Alex’s acid began to take effect. I could almost see Alex’s vibration change as he ascended to our level of reality. Alex and Kevin both looked like they were in some sort of trance, just watching the ball go back and forth between them with a strange rhythm.



“Let’s play some music!” Adam said to me. I thought this was a great idea, and he put on some random CD’s, listening to each one for a bit before changing it to a new one. “Paul Oakenfold, Another World, Disc 2!” He said excitedly as he held out another CD. He started playing it and I liked the way it sounded. By the next morning, I would have every note in the CD memorized.



The effect acid had on music was incredible. It was no longer sound, it was something new. Each note glowed like a crystal that would float in the air, and each sound had a different shade of color, a different shape and texture, although not in the normal tangible sense. The rhythms were forming strange patterns in my mind, and my mind was forming strange patterns of the rhythms.



Alex and Kevin finally finished their ping-pong game and came over by Adam, Mike, and me. Alex was talking excitedly in a rising voice as his eyes began to follow the ENERGY in the air.



“We should go to my room and listen to this music on my stereo upstairs!” Adam suggested. “It will sound much better!”



* * *



And then we were all upstairs in Adam’s bedroom. How long had we been tripping?? I watched the patterns on Adam’s blanket flow across his bed. I watched his blanket change colors. I had never felt like this before in my life and couldn’t even express my awe. All I could do was laugh. The patterns in my mind were evolving to become more elaborate and complex. Everything glowed and every color was more vivid than I had ever seen it before.



My mind, my whole awareness opened up to display the world as I had never seen it, to see the world as it was. I could feel the ENERGY in the night air. I could feel the hits of acid rushing through me. My mind and body were feeling flushed with

ACID!

as I dripped with sweat.



I had never been more awake in my life. I had never been more alive in my life. My reality kept rearranging itself into new patterns, new doors of reality were opening up in the air around me, giving me glimpses of new realms of THOUGHT. I began to realize the Importance of this night. Had it all been building up to this? I had a strange sense of awareness. I could feel my past and my future. I could feel my whole life at once. I was beginning to access something very important, and tapping into the unused parts of my brain which contained my entire existence, including the future.



“Now do you see why it’s called tripping?” Adam asked me as his eyes followed the dancing patterns, as we both watched new doors in our minds opening to new realities.



I nodded. The energy was starting to pick up and I was feeling myself begin to get swept away.



Alex, with his pupils huge and his face flushed, began talking excitedly about how we were growing up. About how one day we would be the people in charge of the world. We would be the adults. I was trying to listen to their conversation, but I was more interested in watching Adam’s bed sheet change colors.



The world was Waking Up. It was coming to LIFE all around me. I was Waking Up. I was coming to LIFE.



“We probably shouldn’t stay here in my room!” Adam eventually told us. “The acid is going to get stronger. We want to be in the basement so we won’t have to talk to my parents when they come home.” Adam had planted the seeds of paranoia in me earlier. Now they were beginning to sprout.



“When are your parents coming home?” I asked.



“I have no idea!” Adam said and burst out laughing.



How long had we been tripping? Why did time seem so strange? What was going on?



The walls melted. The carpets crawled.



The energy intensified, and the air was liquid, colorful, restless.



Everything was liquid, colorful, restless.



We laughed.



* * *



We were back in Adam’s living room, laughing and talking excitedly. All our eyes were wide and all our pupils were huge. The acid was strong now. Every moment new realities were opening up all around.



“I can’t lead you guys through this!” Adam said as he sat on the floor in his living room. “I have no idea what is going on anymore!” He burst out laughing. “Don’t follow me! You’re on your own! Don’t follow me!”



The living room looked so much different than it had earlier today. Everything was stretched too long, or bent strangely.



“We should go downstairs,” Adam repeated. “It’s too easy to get lost in the acid, we will forget and my parents will come.”



The paranoia was growing. I tried to put it behind me.



* * *



We were in the basement, wandering around, laughing.



“Wait!” I remembered, as the worry came back. Were Adam’s parents coming home? How much stronger was this going to get? “When are you’re parents coming?” I asked Adam.



“Not for a long time” he said.



“Wow, your paranoid side comes out on acid,” Kevin said to me, and I nodded.



“We should watch a movie!” Someone suggested as the walls shifted all around us.



“Let’s go get Alice In Wonderland! That would be so awesome!”





“I can drive to the movie store!” Adam said excitedly. “Let’s go!”



I thought about the fact that we were all out of our minds on LSD, and that it was getting stronger and more surprising every minute. I thought about the fact that Adam didn’t have a license. Wait, was I just thinking it? Or was I actually saying it?



“You have a license!” Adam replied to me. I guess I was saying it after all. “You can drive!” he told me.



“No way!” I replied!



“That’s ok!” Kevin said. “I can drive!”



“Really?” I asked. “I can’t even figure out what is going on right now.”



Kevin paused for a moment, and then said “Actually yeah. It seems easy, but then you get swept up and lost in the acid.” I watched as his eyes followed the new realities. “That would be bad while driving.”



He laughed.



* * *



“What the fuck is going on?!?”



How many times did we say that phrase that night?



* * *



Mike eventually wanted to smoke another joint. I had forgotten about Mike. It was almost like I couldn’t even see him because he wasn’t on our level of vibration anymore. But he was the only one who knew what was actually going on in reality. Or were WE the ones in reality, while Mike was in the illusion? I wasn’t too sure anymore.

Mike didn’t know how to roll a joint, and so we were all huddled in a circle, at the ping pong table to try to roll one for him. But none of us could do it.



“What the fuck is going on?!?” somebody would exclaim, and start laughing. We were all either laughing, looking very perplexed, or gaping in awe.



We took turns, one by one, trying to roll the joint, but we couldn’t focus anymore. Now that restless energy that was in the air was stronger. It flooded through the room like a river, bringing with it shapes and colors and THOUGHTS. My mind was beginning to go too fast, and I couldn’t concentrate on any one thing before the rushing thoughts distracted me.



After a couple tries, I gave up trying to roll the joint and instead wandered around the room as it sparkled and danced in front of me.



--------------------

*Divine Moments of Truth*





"Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon



"Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead



"Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter



Post Extras:



PART 4: Insight and Insanity



Suddenly we were all upstairs in Adam’s family room, standing around table. There was a pile of weed on the table. They were still trying to roll a joint. “We are going to do this!” Kevin said to Adam. “This is our mission!”



I looked down at my striped shirt. The horizontal lines were glowing gold and green. The lines were flowing down my shirt like water, never resting, constantly moving, always picking up Energy.



I was now walking around with a blanket wrapped around my shoulders for some reason. Its weight gave me comfort, because it reminded me of my body. I couldn’t feel my body anymore. I held my hands out in front of me, and realized I couldn’t feel my hands at all. Or to be more accurate, I could feel them perfectly, but I could also feel everything else in the room. I could feel myself in the walls, in the ceiling, in the wooden table that was changing shape. It was impossible to tell where my body ended and where the world began. I was being projected onto everything around me, as the world around me grew and expanded, changing shapes. I wished somebody had a video camera. I couldn’t imagine what we looked like to a sober person.

Sober people? A flash of paranoia struck me. I thought about the fact that Adam’s parents were going to come soon. How would it look if they walked in, to see us all blatantly standing around a pile of weed on the table? We were all too distracted and altered to really understand that weed was illegal.



Illegal. What did that even mean anyway?



* * *



Suddenly we were all back outside for some reason. What were we doing back outside? Hadn’t we already agreed that it was too cold to be outside? Were they smoking again? My body was shaking. Was it from the cold or the acid energy? This seemed too familiar.



Had we just made a huge circle?



Then some woman started shouting to her dog. “Get over here!” She shouted. Her dog was right by Adam’s deck, barking at us occasionally. How far was this woman?? Was she close or near? It was too dark to see anything. But if we could hear her, then she was clearly close enough to hear us too. What had we been talking about? LSD? Had she heard what we were saying? Had she understood? Did she know we were tripping? She kept calling to the dog, but we were just saying whatever came to our minds. I wasn’t sure if it was ever appropriate, because I wasn’t sure what “appropriate” was anymore. All the “rules” of society no longer applied. In a flash of insight, I realized that they had never actually been there. These rules of society, that I had spent all my life learning, following, and believing, they didn’t actually exist. They weren’t real. It was all man made. I could see through it all.



I was still paranoid about Adam’s parents. And now this woman who was calling to her dog. Did this woman hear what we were saying? Did she know Adam’s parents?



How far away was she anyway? I had no sense of perspective anymore.



* * *



Kevin and I were in the living room, following Adam’s cat as it climbed into a plant. It looked like a tiger! I didn’t want to pick it up, because I was scared I would hurt it. Kevin laughed at me and picked up the cat. I think the cat knew we were all insane.



* * *



We were in the kitchen, pulling out a carton of Orange Juice. Did it really make you trip harder, or was that just a rumor?? Time to find out…..



* * *



We were back downstairs. Staring off into space and laughing.



* * *



We were rolling a joint in the living room. We were hiding from the woman and the dog outside. We were wandering around Adam’s basement looking for something to do.



The night had shattered into a scrambled mix of us in many different scenes, in many different places, all happening simultaneously over a background of changing colors.



* * *



I was in the bathroom, watching the toilet water constantly changing into different neon colors. How beautiful! I stared at my reflection in the mirror, making my pupils get bigger and smaller. I was looking at the wallpaper, as the patterns moved, and changed from white to red to neon green, to blue, to yellow. It was always changing, it was always in motion.



So were we. We were always changing, always in motion. We wandered all over the house restlessly, constantly looking for something to do. The energy was scattering us. We spent what seemed like hours going in circles, never understanding what we were doing.



* * *



We were in the basement. I was lying on my back. I was sitting up right. I was walking around. I was always moving, always THINKING.



The flood of thoughts was truly incredible, and soon I was completely lost in my mind. The analytical part of my brain was working in overdrive. I would think of an idea, and my mind would start over analyzing it. For each idea, ten different subtopics related to it would appear. My brain would start analyzing every subtopic, and then for each there would be 10 new sub-subtopics. It would continue like this for a while. And suddenly I would be back to the same original idea that I had started thinking about!!! I had made a circle! And then, just as it had done the first time, my brain would break that original idea up, forming subtopics again. And then break those subtopics up again. Eventually, as I flew down the restless river of thought, I was once again back where I had begun. The process repeated itself over and over. I slowly began to become aware of this pattern. And my brain then started to analyze this pattern, breaking it up into subtopics, and then sub topics of the subtopics. And eventually I was once again back at the original idea! I was analyzing the way that I was analyzing! I was thinking about thinking about thinking! I laughed in frustration, I was getting nowhere, thinking in a million different circles, getting lost in thoughts and ideas. I could see every thought and each evoked a hundred different images. Soon I was analyzing the way I was analyzing the way I was analyzing. I was going in circles and circles. It was all fractaling itself, repeating over and over into



INFINITY



And as I watched my thoughts run in circles towards infinity, I began to understand of the nature of LSD. This was a Thinker’s tool. This was all about *THOUGHT*! I had never realized how amazing, how powerful, how FUN it could be TO THINK. To use my brain! Thinking had always been such a chore, something reserved for school, something that was best avoided. And now….it was all different. My brain was working in multiple new levels of thought.



Just as my thoughts were running in infinite circles, so were Adam, Kevin, Alex and I. “Let’s go to my room and listen to a CD!” Adam would say. We would head towards his room, but get distracted in the kitchen. “Let’s eat some pretzels!” Somebody would say in the kitchen, and we’d get them out, leave them on the table, and somebody would say “Let’s get a movie and watch it!” We’d then be in the family room looking at movies, and somebody would say “Let’s go downstairs before Adam’s parents come home.” Then back in the basement: “Hey, weren’t we going to my room to get a CD?” Adam would repeat. And then we’d go back up, and get distracted in the exact same manner, and eventually end up back in the basement again. We always seemed to get distracted, never making it to what we were doing.



It was extremely frustrating for me to see the futility of our travels, to always find ourselves back at the beginning. But slowly, over the course of the journey, I stopped being frustrated with our constant inability to get to whatever destination we had chosen. I began to realize that this was the whole nature of LSD. It wasn’t about getting to my destination. It was about leading me off the path, showing me how much I miss when I don’t stop to look around. LSD was about the journey, not the destination. Life….LIFE was about the journey, not the destination.



My universe had now shattered into a labyrinth of thoughts and ideas. The thoughts were alive, giving birth to new thoughts with lives of their own. And this voice was telling me:

Get lost in it for a while, you’ll always find your way back



I closed my eyes and the patterns repeated themselves into infinity. Beautiful, colorful patterns of perfect precision. And it was all three dimensional. These weren’t just visuals anymore. This was another world, a world hidden beyond the normal perception of everyday life. I could see the electricity permeating this world, feel it permeating my mind, my thoughts, my being. It was Digital, I felt like I was in a computer program. Everything was so mathematically logical and precise, yet at the same time so unpredictable, so artistic, so beautiful. It was like a futuristic technological world!



Electric! Digital! Futuristic! Mathematical! Technological!

This was the world of LSD!



My brain unraveled before me like a ball of yarn and I saw my entire subconscious clearly spread out before me. This was a massive area of my brain that was normally closed off and inaccessible. And now the doors were open. Dreams are a key to the subconscious right? Well now, with the veil of subconscious removed, I could see that all the dreams I had at night in my sleep weren’t random stories unconnected to my life. They were completely relevant to my daily thoughts, to my emotions, and to my everyday waking life. I could see dreams I had many years ago, and understand their significance. I could pull out all sorts of random memories, and visualize them clearly, perfectly.



There was a strange music in the air, but this wasn’t the music from the CD player. This was a strange futuristic sound that seemed to echo in the air and fill my head with song and light. It sounded like vibrations, or signals. I’ve talked to a lot of people since then about this sound. I still don’t know what exactly that music was. At the time I decided it was just



The Sound Of LSD.





Get lost in it for a while, you’ll always find your way back!



* * *



Every once in a while I regained a sense of the normal world around me. I looked around to see everyone sitting on the couches, laughing and staring off at space. None of us were talking too much anymore. We were all being swept away in the electric LSD river.



Suddenly, I saw how much this LSD realm influenced things in the world all around me. I could sense how acid had changed some of my friends. They acted the way they did because of the acid. I could see it in the spark in their eyes. It was as if they had brought part of this acid-world back with them. I sensed that they were still vibrating slightly on a different level. I also understood the influence of acid on so much of the music that I listened to, and on so many authors and the way they wrote. I could immediately see how acid had fueled the revolution of the sixties. LSD itself was a revolution. It was a profound change in thought, an uncloaking of illusion, an insight and awakening. LSD was a forward movement in a new direction.



I started to realize my control over my life. It was MY life, and nobody else’s. I realized I could do whatever I wanted with myself. I didn’t have to become what my parents told me to be, or do what my teachers or friends wanted me to do. That was an important realization, one which has forever changed my career path.



* * *



Suddenly something strange happened, and none of us understood what it was.



“What was that?” somebody asked.



And then it happened again. The colors in my mind suddenly changed, the sounds and feelings in my body altered as well. But my senses were all mixed up, I couldn’t figure out what was happening.



“It’s the phone!!!” Adam finally exclaimed.



That was it! The phone was ringing! We all became quiet while Adam answered the call. I have no idea how he was able to talk on the phone, I couldn’t even understand what a phone was.



Adam hung up the phone and told us that his parents were coming. That is when we realized that Alex wasn’t allowed to spend the night. Adam’s parents had recently gotten mad at him for having too many people come over without telling them, and we knew this would happen again. The last thing we needed was to get yelled at by Adam’s parents while on LSD.



Kevin agreed to go home with Alex so that Alex wouldn’t have to spend the night alone while tripping out on strong acid. They decided to leave, and we agreed to call each other and meet up later that night. I was sad that they were leaving, but was looking forward to seeing them again later that night. They left and it was just Adam and me tripping now. Mike was probably asleep already.



“You know, we probably won’t meet up with them again tonight,” Adam said thoughtfully. “None of us will remember to call each other.”

I thought about it for a moment and decided he was wrong. I will definitely remember to call them, I told myself. But the acid marched on and despite my best intentions I forgot to call Kevin and Alex that night.



I never saw Kevin again, and it would be a couple years before I saw Alex again.



As I sat there restlessly, riding the waves of the acid, I remained in complete awe of everything that I was experiencing. I still had no idea what I was in store for that night…



--------------------

*Divine Moments of Truth*





"Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon



"Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead



"Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter



Post Extras:



PART 5: The Edge of Reality



Kevin and Alex were gone. Mike was asleep. It was just Adam and me now, tripping our balls off in the basement. Adam continued to try to and lead me in circles all around his house. I continued to lose myself in the rapid rush of LSD. I laid myself down on the couch, feeling overwhelmed, completely out of touch with what was going on around me. I closed my eyes to try and escape the visual assault of colors but realized that they were even brighter and more intense with my eyes closed. Closing my eyes only placed me deeper in the 3D realm of infinite fractals and colors. I was at the boundary of reality. On one side was the world around me. On the other was pure insanity. I gazed into it, and it gazed into me. Fearful that I could fall over the edge, I held tightly onto my reality. How much stronger was this going to get???



* * *



We were tripping hard in the basement, when we started to hear Adam’s parents upstairs. They were finally home. The fleeting paranoia that I had experienced earlier began magnifying itself. I realized that at any moment his parents would come downstairs to talk to us. Adam and I both knew that this was going to be intense. I could still barely see reality through the endless dancing visuals, and now I was going to have to hold on a conversation with Adam’s parents.



Adam turned on the TV, and I stared at it, pretending like I was watching it. In actuality, the concept of watching TV made no sense to me.



“We have to pull this off,” Adam said to me. “The rest of the night is going to depend on how we can handle the next five minutes”



Suddenly Adam’s mom was downstairs talking to us. I didn’t know what to do. I stared at the TV, pretending to watch. Could she tell that I wasn’t actually watching the TV, that I was just staring at it? Occasionally I’d look at Adam’s mom, while she talked to us. I looked at her face and didn’t even recognize her. Her face transformed with colors and shapes. I had no idea what she and Adam were even saying. Were they speaking English?? How long had she been talking to us?



She paused, looked at us both strangely for what seemed like an eternity. Every slight movement of her face revealed the mental activity inside her head. Then a sudden awareness spread across her face. She realized we were tripping! She was going to say something else, but then decided to just let us be. She smiled and left. There was a spark in her eye.



I have no idea if she actually knew we were tripping, or if I was just paranoid on LSD. It doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that we got through that test. She said Goodnight and left. The Universe had just blessed us that magical night.



* * *



I felt amazing after that. We wandered around the basement, feeling the acid working us. The planet was ours to explore, to walk, to wander. The acid was still strong, but peak of my insanity was past. I could once again focus on the world around me, and now the visuals were just an endless stream of colors and patterns all around me.



* * *



“We have to go upstairs!” Adam said to me.



“Okay” I replied.



“But we can’t! My parents are there!”



“Ok, let’s stay downstairs” I’d say.



And then a few minutes later he repeated, “We’d have to go upstairs!” and the whole process kept repeating itself. Adam was leading me all over in circles, and it was driving me crazy. He kept mentioning his parents and I kept pushing back the paranoia.



* * *



Throughout the night, Adam kept randomly opening his dresser in his room, and seeing the sugarcubes. He was getting convinced that it was a sign that we needed to take more.



He began trying to convince me to take another sugar cube. Just the thought of taking more scared me. There was no way I was going to eat another one. That seemed like a very dangerous mistake to make, and I had to make sure Adam didn’t convince me to do that.



Slowly, my mind began to slow down. The visuals remained intense and more colorful, but the confusion and thought loops lessened. I was beginning to come back to earth. And I was very happy. It had been a long strange night. I had learned a lot about the world, and a lot about my brain. Too much. Too much information had been force fed through my brain, and I was glad to watch reality slowly start to piece itself back together. I had a lot to think about now; it had been an amazing journey. I was completely worn out, physically and mentally. Acid was definitely an amazing experience to have once, but it wasn’t the drug for me. I still had two more sugar cubes to share with someone, but after that I would probably never take acid again. It was an interesting experience, but too frustrating. I didn’t like the constant tangents, the going in circles and never getting anywhere. I was trained to live for the destination, and a drug like acid wasn’t something that matched with me.



* * *



Soon Adam’s family was asleep, and we were walking around the house, tired but restless, overwhelmed but still seeking. Adam continued talking about taking another dose, and I kept saying no, but he kept persisting. He continued wanting to go upstairs, even though his parents were there, and then saying that we couldn’t. He became more and more obsessed with taking more acid, and I was still tripping and confused. But I knew this was important. I could not let him convince me to take more. It seemed too easy of a mistake to make in this state of mind. To accidentally take too much acid while you are tripping, just because you have no idea what you are doing and what is going on. That seemed to be a guaranteed way to end up as one of the acid casualties that I always heard about. I did not want to accidentally overdose on LSD and become another acid casualty. It was still my first acid trip and I didn’t yet know how it the drug would end. But I was happy that I no longer had to worry about how much stronger it was going to get.



I convinced Adam that we should just smoke the rest of the pot instead of taking more acid. He agreed and we smoked the herb in his basement. As the weed kicked in, the effects of the acid rapidly became very intense. Soon I was completely confused again. Adam was talking and leading me in circles around his house, and I was tripping hard, lost in a flush of thoughts.



* * *



Suddenly there was a little shock in my brain. A flash of awareness. And with this I realized something that filled me with dread. Somehow in my stoned tripping state, Adam had convinced me to do it. Despite my best efforts and my better judgment, Adam had succeeded. Horrified, I realized that another sugar cube of LSD was now dissolving away on my tongue.



My heart froze.



--------------------

*Divine Moments of Truth*





"Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon



"Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead



"Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter



Post Extras:



PART 6: The Journey to God



“OH SHIT!” I thought to myself as the last of the sugar dissolved away on my mouth. It was like a very small shock of electricity suddenly hit me. I suddenly woke up, and was very aware of what was happening. Time around me stopped. My heart started pounding as I realized what exactly we had just done. We had each just taken another dose of LSD. I had accidentally done what I had been trying so hard not to do. I was already exhausted and worn out. In one night I had already learned more than I could digest about reality. I had been so glad that the trip was finally past the peak. And now…it was about to start all over again?? Much stronger this time. How much stronger was this going to get? How long was this going to last?? What had I done? How had I let Adam talk me into this? The paranoia was creeping back.



I pushed the thought out of my mind. I couldn’t freak out right now. I had to relax. I was scared though. I didn’t know what was going to happen.



* * *



Adam and I were sitting in his family room, in front of the TV, looking for movies to watch. I didn’t know what the movies were, and was too busy freaking out internally about the fact that I had just taken more acid.



“Pick a movie” Adam said.



“I don’t know what to watch,” I replied. I was frozen with paranoia, completely incapable of making any decisions.



“Well pick anything!” His voice seemed to echo through the house.



“Are we talking too loud?” I would ask. “Can your parents hear us?”



“I don’t know….are we?” He repeated. “I can’t tell!”



It was true. My senses were still so amplified that I couldn’t tell if we were whispering or if our voices were echoing through the house.



Panic! “Let’s go downstairs” I said. I was freaking out.



“Just pick a movie!” Adam insisted.



“I don’t know what any of these movies are….am I talking too loud?” I repeated



“I don’t know!! I can’t tell how loud we are talking!” Adam repeated.



Our conversation continued in circles. We kept repeating the same things, over and over, and we were unable to just choose a movie. I thought back to what I had read about LSD on the internet. If you were going to take it, take it all at once, because taking more after the initial dose would have no effect. That calmed me down. Hopefully that accidental 2nd dose of acid wouldn’t kick in. Or it would be so weak it would have no real effect. But I was already starting to feel weird. My body was starting to flush more, my senses were starting to become more intense.



That’s when Adam said it:

“OH MY GOD!!! I’M STARTING TO FEEL IT!” His voice vibrated in the air.



“Oh man you’re right!” I whispered. It was true. I could already feel the new dose of acid kicking in. There was a new sense of energy building…slowly building up.



“Wow that is one of the stupidest sentences ever said!” Adam said and burst into laughter. “We are just STARTING to feel it. It’s only been fifteen minutes since we ate the acid, and we are just STARTING to feel it! This is going to be insane!” His voice was starting to echo in my head.



PANIC! More Panic! How much stronger was it going to become? Calm down, I told myself.



“What’s going to happen?” I asked him. I could feel this. This was big. The universe was beginning to focus itself on us. More energy was starting to build up. The world was starting to vibrate.

“I don’t know!” He said laughing. “I’ve never taken this much acid before! Pick a movie!”



I was freaking out. After the longest night of my life, I had been grateful that the acid was finally winding down. What a long crazy night it had been. And now, I was exhausted and paranoid, and a new dose of acid was just STARTING to pull me up again. I didn’t have the emotional or mental energy for a deeper dive into the lysergic ocean, but I didn’t have a choice.



* * *



Soon we were in the kitchen. The new dose of acid was getting strong fast. It was magnifying the acid that was already in effect, they were multiplying each other. I could feel the energy building up, the pressure building up. The grain patterns on the wood were flowing relentlessly. How much stronger was this going to get? This thought had been one of the seeds of paranoia at the beginning of the night. Now it was back with a vengeance. I wanted to run and hide.

This was no joke. From distant realms, God was on his way. The earth seemed to vibrate with His approach, as if hundreds of trucks were driving by. He was coming.



And as this happened, I became aware of a strange aspect of human spirituality. I realized that all the religions and all the writings that the adults talked about so certainly were not actually very certain. I realized that all the books were still written by Man. That in the end, The Truth was much bigger than that and humans actually had no idea what was happening. No religion was really correct.



* * *



This was the most important night of my life. This was the most alive I would ever be in my life. I could feel the entire universe. I could see how every choice that I had made and every action in my past had all been leading me up to this point. I could sense that every moment of my life had been building up to this. It had all been leading up to this night.



And God was coming. The energy was getting stronger. I needed to run and hide, but how can you hide from God? The floor was vibrating, the walls were vibrating. EVERYTHING was moving. His impending arrival was breathing life into everything around me. The universe was focusing more and more on us. Time had stopped. There was nothing else in the universe except us, and this house through which we were wandering in circles.



Adam was running around the kitchen, talking about how he was going to make me a sandwich, and I was ignoring him, trying to calm myself down. But the more I tried to, the more I felt panicked at the unknown possibility at what was going to happen. At this point, I had never read much about high doses of LSD, I didn’t know where I was going or what was going to happen. I knew that you couldn’t physically overdose on acid, but I now realized that there could be scarier things than death. Was I going to be another one of those acid casualties? Were the men in white coats going to come and take me away? Would I ever come down again?



* * *



We were walking around the basement restlessly. I looked and the very structure of the physical reality began to unravel before me. Everything appeared to be made out of endless rows and columns of digital green numbers like in The Matrix.



I began to see the evolution of mankind, from bacteria, to animals, to humans. It started to play out before me like a movie going off in my head. It was as if this was all being shown to me by a Divine Force.



I kept asking Adam what time it was, and he kept replying that he didn’t know. I wanted to know how I was going to get through this night. How much longer until this trip ended? How much stronger was it going to get? I was hoping I could just forget about it, and it would just go away. Maybe I could sleep it off…..



I could feel every internal organ inside my body. Every muscle and bone. And I realized that I had always been able to feel them. But normally, the information was filtered out. I would only feel my heart if it was beating too fast, or my stomach if it was upset and churning too much. But now the filters were gone. I could feel everything inside me. And I recognized this feeling from when I was very young.



The feeling became more powerful. Soon I could feel every molecule and atom vibrating in my body, in the whole universe. With my eyes closed I felt all of the cells inside my body, all communicating with each other. Endless strands of double helix DNA swirled around before me, containing all the information of my very existence. I sensed the vibration of every single atom, every electron. Why didn’t these atoms look like the ones I was taught about in school?



My sense of time was completely distorted. I couldn’t understand if a second had passed by or an hour. Time was dilating more and more, stretching out to fit hours in each minute. Finally I asked Adam again, “What time is it?”



And Adam gave me an answer that permanently changed my perception of time.



“It doesn’t matter….What IS time anyway? It’s always Now.”



I looked at him in awe.



“See what I mean?” he asked.



And it hit me. If all the rules of society were manmade, if all religions were man made, was time manmade as well?



I realized it. Adam was right. There was only NOW. There was only the unending Eternal Moment. Now never ends. Tomorrow will never come. Yesterday never is. And this moment, Here and Now, is Eternal. This moment is all that is real. This moment: right Now as you are reading these words.



I was never able to look at time the same way again, let alone understand it. In fact, even now, years later, I’m still more focused on Now, the eternal moment, than tomorrow. And all these clocks hanging on the walls still don’t make too much sense to me, but I play along.



I realized how easy it is to miss life when you live for tomorrow instead of Today, for later instead of Now. Always running toward that destination that you never get to. Life is about The Journey, not the destination. Life is about Today, not tomorrow. Now. The Eternal Moment.



But while I was in Adam’s basement, feeling the new dose of LSD exploding inside me and outside me, the thought of an eternal moment terrified me even more. I didn’t want this moment to last forever. I wanted it to end. I wanted to be safe and sane again. And this new understanding of time was blowing my mind. I didn’t want to shake up any more of my beliefs. Everything I knew was wrong. My reality was falling apart. LSD was a tornado, ripping through my life, and nothing could save it.



My awareness of my subconscious was increasing exponentially. More and more memories were flashing before me, and I was able to see my whole life before me. Every memory was so vivid and real, it was like I was there. More and more memories were taking flight, flooding me with visions of times past. They were coming faster and faster.



And then BOOM! It hit me like a brick wall. The ultimate memory was opened up, buried all the way under the pile of 16 years worth of memories!



I was in the womb! It was a memory of before I was born!



A thousand voices in my head screamed at once “OH MY GOD! HOW COULD YOU FORGET THIS?!? THE FIRST MEMORY! THE BEGINNING OF LIFE!”

All around me, God was singing some ancient spiritual song that couldn’t be heard with ears.



I flipped out, I flipped out, I flipped out. I fell over laughing. This was amazing. This was the most amazing thing I had ever experienced. I had just recovered memory of complete Purity. It was the memory of a state of pure Trust. Pure Faith. Pure Being, and nothing else! HOW DID I FORGET?



I felt I was on the edge of something huge. The ultimate truth of reality was just beyond my grasp. The acid was getting stronger and stronger, and the energy was no longer just building up, it was once again beginning to flood through the room in motion. But while before it was only a river of energy, now it was like the Niagara Falls.



We sat on the couch and Adam turned on the movie. Puff The Magic Dragon.



The visuals that still persisted from the first dose were now being intensely magnified by the second dose. Incredible elaborate images were forming out of nothing in the air. Adam and I looked at our hands, and watched the most ridiculous visuals come to life from the lines in our palms.



I became scared again. How long was this going to last? What had I done? God was on His way, and there was nowhere to hide. I wanted to sleep it off. I closed my eyes, but I was instantly immersed in the endless 3D LSD world. I opened my eyes but the world moved and changed and danced tirelessly. I looked out the window, wishing for the signs of morning sunlight to indicate the night was finally over, but all that remained was the Eternal Night darkness. Or was it day? I couldn’t see through the colors anymore.



There was nowhere to escape. I couldn’t even sleep it off. It was as if whatever part of my brain that required sleep no longer existed. I was no longer a normal human. I was a new creature, a creature for which sleep did not exist. My brain worked on a whole new level, and I could see new realities, hidden worlds that could not be seen by normal humans. Adam could see them too.



He was busy watching Puff the magic dragon on the TV. “Look at this!” he said, laughing. “Look how happy they are! Watch!”



I watched it for a moment, but quickly got lost in the flood of the thoughts that had returned.



Soon he was repeating it. “Watch! Watch! Look how happy they are!”

I tried again, but I couldn’t concentrate on it. The flood of thoughts were too persistent, too real. I was scared. The world around transformed. The walls turned gold, then orange. A giant serpent overcame me, I felt myself being overtaken, possessed by a huge snake inside me, crawling up my spine, and I panicked.

Then the basement shimmered and transformed into the house of somebody I knew, in another lifetime long ago, in another place far across the globe, thousands of years ago. It seemed to be a memory of a life long before this one, of a horrible occurrence that had happened, coming back to the surface.



Past lives? Were they real? Or were my paranoia and imagination creating some strange story around me? Real? I had no idea what was real anymore. The laws of reality no longer applied. Everything was real, and nothing was.



Adam repeated. “Look! Watch the movie!” But he was no longer Adam. He was some angry person from a life long ago. Somebody who had been part of something very horrible that happened. He was shouting at me.

I was starting to see through all reality. How much stronger was this going to get?



“Look!” Adam said to me again. I was in between two worlds. Adam was telling me to watch the movie, but somebody else was there, from another time. I was reliving some horrible experience. Ancient memories were coming to the surface



“Look!” He repeated.



That’s when my paranoia reached its peak, and I exploded in fear and anger. “SHUT THE FUCK UP MAN! LEAVE ME ALONE!”



That seemed to snap me back. Suddenly, it was no longer some strange person from another life. It was Adam again. “What’s wrong man?” He asked, genuinely concerned.



“I’M FREAKING OUT MAN!” I felt the anger erupt from within me like a volcano. It was all anger deep inside me. The paranoia had led me to the anger. The anger exploded and it saturated me. It saturated the entire room. It shot outwards in all directions and flooded the universe with fear and violence. I had always been such an asshole before that night. And now that anger deep inside me was all coming out, erupting around me, and transforming the world around me into fear. The endless colors that swirled around me were no longer joyous and beautiful, they were cold and sinister. They were hard and metallic. I was amazed that this much darkness and anger had been repressed inside me, and now it was coming out, and I was seeing it, facing it, and it was terrifying. This anger was generating more fear. And here it was and I was no longer running from it, but facing it all. It was horrible to actually see anger. All the anger I had sent out during my life was coming right back to me, magnified a hundredfold.



“Relax man,” Adam said. “Just calm down and be happy. You don’t want to freak out on acid!” And he smiled.



And all my trust in Adam returned. The terror faded, the anger dissolved. Trust and Faith returned. Illusions of past lives dissolved into a colorful dance of color. My mood quickly began to recover, but I remained in shock at the power of the anger inside me. And something about seeing it, about facing it, permanently burned up a lot of anger inside me. Before that night, I was a total asshole to a lot of people. After that night…I was different.



--------------------

*Divine Moments of Truth*





"Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon



"Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead



"Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter



Post Extras:



PART 7: What Cannot Be Spoken



The acid kept getting stronger. An endless stream of 3D images flooded the room, engulfed it with constantly exploding colors, and eventually replaced the room altogether. Every now and then I would see the room again. Then I would see Adam laughing on the couch, watching images dance through the room with a life of their own.

Now Paul Oakenfold’s Another World Disc 2 was playing endlessly on repeat.



I saw every note, every beat, I saw the rhythm. I traveled through the music, the music guided me through the electric world of LSD. By the end of the night I had every note in that CD memorized (and still do).



Now it was insane. I could see more and more. I could see all things connected to each other, and time no longer existed.



All of my senses were mixed up. This was more than synthesesia. Every sense was scrambled and completely jumbled together. Every aspect of reality was being broken down and rearranged. My world was being thrown in a blender, an LSD tornado.



The world around me was quickly washed away in endless images, colors, thoughts, ideas, songs, and realities. I was shattered into millions of shapes and colors. I was energy flowing through infinite conduits. I was electricity flowing through wires. I didn’t even have awareness of the world around me. But I was still fighting it, still holding on, still too scared to lose what little I still had of myself.



But the LSD had other plans. I had a meeting with God.



Now I was no longer the electricity flowing through tunnels. Now I was all the tunnels of the universe, feeling the electricity flowing through itself. I was the energy flowing through myself. I was the universe, experiencing itself.



I repressed it. I fought it. I held on to whatever bit of myself I could. I held on until the very end. But acid was like a river steadily wearing down a rock. And bit by bit, more and more of me was worn away in the endless flow of the eternal river, taken to the eternal ocean. And slowly, I was washed away, until there was nothing left. Adam’s house was gone. The world was gone. I was gone. There was only an Eternal Ocean of Energy.

And it was shining.



--------------------

*Divine Moments of Truth*





"Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon



"Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead



"Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter



Post Extras:



PART 8: The Birth of The New World



After a thousand years, a ripple began to form in the ocean. The first discernable thing to take form was motion. From the infinite eternity of everything and nothing, there was motion. Energy was moving.



A long time later, color came back. The moving energy was colorful, Millions of colors, dancing, animated with Energy.



Then shapes came. An endless flow of shapes and forms rushed forward, generating endless colorful patterns and 3D kaleidoscope images. They were all soaked with endless energy, pure love, light, and truth. And they were all permeated with the very essence of life.



Next came ideas, and then thoughts. The images began to transform into music. Now they were all moving, dancing, to the sound of Paul Oakenfold, Another World Disc 2. The music was distinguishable again. I saw every note. I felt every pattern. I had the CD memorized.



A million different thoughts danced into and out of existence, a million images sprung to life. Lifetimes of thoughts and images flowed to the music of LSD.



Slowly I began to come back. I would occasionally see the room again. I would look at the wall, and see it change as spectrums of colors washed over it. Then 3D infinite grids of dancing teletubbies would appear, and then the room was gone and the endless 3D world of visuals were back.



More and more of me started to return from my meeting with God. But I was coming back different. Everything was different. How many lifetimes did that trip last? My soul was completely saturated with the infinite beauty and love of the peak. I felt a powerful love and awe that I had never known. I felt new. Like a child. When was the last time I had seen sunlight? The sky was starting to turn pink through the window, casting golden rays of light into the room…dawn was finally on its way. But who was I? What had happened?

Now I was like a child, and the world twinkled and sparkled with light and love upon me. Every sense tingled and vibrated. God was shining down on this newly created world. I was smiling with awe. Everything was soaked with Love. The morning light started to flood the basement and the birds outside sang a beautiful song about Birth and Creation. The sun was dawning on a new world, a new life.



Eventually Adam and I were able to talk again. There was a world around us now. But it was new…different from the way it was before LSD. Different than the way it was before I saw The Light.

We got up off our couches. We finally started to move around. We finally started to verbally communicate again.



“Look at this room!” Adam eventually said. “We gotta clean this up!”

I looked around. There was stuff scattered everywhere. Pillows, blankets, magazines, CD’s, and even food! “There’s bud in the orange juice!” Adam exclaimed as he picked up a cup on the table.



I was still feeling confused. What had just happened? What did it mean? We cleaned up. We got up. We sat down. We walked around. I still couldn’t really talk too much yet. I was trying to understand what had just happened to me. Adam smoked some more pot but I couldn’t bring myself to smoke it again. I was glad to finally be returning to reality, and I didn’t want to leave it again. I spent the rest of the morning in awe and deep reflection.



Eventually my dad came to Adam’s house to pick me up and take me back home. I can still vividly remember that hour long car ride back home. I looked at the clock in the car but couldn’t understand it. Everything around me looked strange, and everything was vibrating, humming with energy. I sat in the passenger seat, still feeling myself projected onto everything all around me. The world still was freshly created. It was too much information to even try and process. The only thing that made sense was that the universe had exploded during the night. The opposite of a black hole had occurred in Adam’s basement.



I looked around at all the people walking around and driving that morning. These people didn’t even realize that a tornado had destroyed the universe while they slept.



And I wondered if I would ever be able to process this trip. It had changed EVERYTHING. I felt like a new person, reborn into a whole new world. Everything was different. Suddenly I understood all that Philosophy that the Greeks were always writing about. Before it had all seemed so abstract and meaningless. Now it suddenly made sense. Life, existence, it was all an incredible beautiful mystery.



I still remained shaken up. How was I going to be able to deal with this experience? Would I ever? In one night it had destroyed every single one of my beliefs. Now I had to start a very long journey of reevaluating my reality and my life. Would I ever do it? Who would I be in a year? Who would I be in ten years? How would I look back on this experience? There was so much to process, so much to evaluate and reconsider. It would take the rest of my life. The LSD was almost gone, but the trip was just beginning.



We got to my neighborhood and it looked completely different. We got to my house and I almost couldn’t recognize it. I crawled into bed and dreamed of colors.



Within the next couple weeks, I began to notice a change in the way most people were interacting with me. It was much more positive. So much of my anger at other people had been burned away on the couch that night. And I think I was still vibrating on another level for a while. People can sense that vibration, even if they aren’t consciously aware of it.



I felt confused for a while after that trip. If I had only taken one sugarcube that night, I would never have become obsessed with acid. Originally, I had felt like acid wasn’t the drug for me. But that second dose had changed me too much. Something had happened to me at the peak of that second sugar cube. Something incredible that I can no longer remember. But whatever it was changed me forever. I found myself obsessed with it. I had to go back there, I had to understand it. I felt that I needed to figure out the puzzle of existence before it was too late. I had to put the pieces together and unlock The Ultimate Secret to reality. Thus began an obsession with LSD that lasted many years.



I had many many more trips on LSD after that night. That night gave me an important glimpse of something incredible, something important regarding the nature of reality and my existence. I continued my acid trips, always trying to get back to that place of total Truth, complete Light. But none of my trips were quite like that first one. I always felt there was just one last piece that I needed to put it all together, but despite my many trips, it always remained just out of my grasp. I never quite reached that place again on LSD.



That first acid trip was just the beginning of my journey. I spent weeks in awe of the experience, trying to make sense of it. I spent many frustrated nights trying to forget it, to return to the ignorant state of bliss that I once had. I spent months and months, reflecting on it, obsessing over it, and reconstructing my beliefs about life because of it. I have spent years slowly working to integrate the lessons from acid, and although I will never be perfect (or even close), I will always try to remember and apply the insights. That night still affects me to this day. And I still can’t hear Paul Oakenfold Another World Disc 2 without feeling like I’m tripping all over again.



It has actually been years since I have touched LSD. This is why I was finally able to write this trip report about that magical night. Every time I took acid, I would think “OH MY GOD! I HAD FORGOTTEN!” Once again I would realize that I was unable to verbalize the acid experience. I’m sure that if I ever took acid again I would be amazed at how much I have forgotten. But it has been a long time since my last trip, and I am now able to verbalize what little I still remember.



That trip was an incredible gift given to me by the universe. I kept it inside, treasured it and cursed it, loved it and hated it, and I processed it for many years. Now the time has come where I feel I can finally let go of this trip, and of the whole obsession with LSD. When I was sixteen years old, the universe gave me this incredible journey and changed my life. Now by writing this trip report, many years later, I have finally let go of it and given that trip back to the universe.



I don’t know if I’ll do acid again. I no longer seek it out. I’m quite content with where I am now. And I think I have enough lessons, and questions, to last me a lifetime. But who knows. Maybe one day, if the time is right, the planets will align again, all the pieces will fall back into place, and the sky will open up once more….



Light and Love



--------------------

*Divine Moments of Truth*





"Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon



"Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead



"Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter



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Man...That was one heck of a read. Very well written. Makes me long to get my hands on cid and take my first journey with it. One of these days I'll find some.



The part about you receeding back in time clear into the womb was freakin amazing. I wonder if you went even further than that, like in between incarnations?



Life / existence / consciousness sure is an enigma.



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Excellent write up. PM sent.



I hope you've had the chance to take DMT



--------------------

Entropy is increasing.

To send me a PM, go to my journal



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Excellent report bro, I read the whole thing. Certain parts make me smile and remember some of the things LSD has shown me about life and the universe.



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Hey man.



That was a great read. It felt like a trip to my (unusually) sober mind.



I've never been all the way on acid. Shrooms took me all the way, once. And ever since, (to parallel your own experiences) I've attempted to regain that kind of experience with Shrooms, but have not succeeded. I am simply not ready to experience it again, as much as I would like to.



I look forward to the day that I have enough faith and self-confidence to consciously let go into that ocean of energy again.



As of now, I tend to not be able to let go consciously. I can let go subconsciously through "self-distraction" with certain ultimately-important acts (such as performing as a musician, which I consider my calling) but the idea of a conscious self-release is no longer something attainable at this time.



I am still trying to figure out why that is.



I'm not sure if I'm just afraid of losing myself again to that degree, like I was the first time, (in which case I should probably start dosing higher) or if it is a bit more complicated than that:



--



My original house (mind) was built upon the sand (false beliefs), but when I let God take me, I had an opportunity to rebuild my house. When I did, I built upon the rock. (solid foundation, energy patterns inherent in all reality)



A house built on sand quickly washes away... but a house built upon the rock (the rock is God... these same energy patterns) never falls.



Ironically, (when contrasted against the threatening feeling of ego dissolution) the idea of NEVER being able to completely lose myself and start over again is a little frightening... because it means that I MUST walk the line.



The idea of that is frightening because I often feel I have not lived up to that standard that I set for myself by redefining myself as God-like. (or, built on the rock.)



--



But these concerns are based in fear... and as a result, even in this moment, I am aware of the fact that there is some falsification at work... maybe even the beginning of a messiah complex. Wrapped up in the NEED FOR* explanations, (*not really a need, but a fear impulse) I slip into a state of once again believing I can understand if I could just find that last key... that last bit of understanding that will make it okay for me to go.



But, some reassurance comes from deep inside... a little voice speaks, and reminds me in simple terms, that...



I am already dead. Already gone.



That is what I learned, that is so hard to remember. Or maybe not hard to remember... but that which we choose to forget because it acts as a threat--no, a wound in the side--of the human ego.



The will of the one who I once believed myself to be, and the will of THE ONE, haved merged. I can either accept that (Accept my nonexistance, my death, my EXIT.) or continue to struggle.



Up to this very moment, I have struggled. I almost dared to write there, "For now, I continue to struggle." But I realize that this is self-fulfilling and therefore am making a conscious choice in this moment not to go that way.



I choose to let go. I choose my death. This is free will. Free will exists, within the proper framework of understanding. Free will is the choice give in EVERY MOMENT... to say, "Yes, I accept" or "No, I will keep on denying and struggle."



Thank you for your post. It is but one of many strands of intention coming from beyond both of us, to help both of us. I am changing, even now, as a result.



Post Extras:

retrospect



Posts: 1,340

Last seen: 8 years, 9 months Last seen: 8 years, 9 months Re: The Night That Changed My Life - Reflections On LSD ( ULTRA LONG) [Re: JacquesCousteau]

#7044772 - 06/14/07 04:21 AM (13 years, 3 months ago) Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Wow, that reminded me so much of my second acid trip. So many things were the same. I learnt so many things about myself that night.



Thanks so much for the read. It was awesome.



Post Extras:

h4iL







Registered: 07/12/06

Posts: 19

Loc: Nova Scotia

Last seen: 3 months, 27 days laughingRegistered: 07/12/06Loc: Nova ScotiaLast seen: 3 months, 27 days Re: The Night That Changed My Life - Reflections On LSD ( ULTRA LONG) [Re: retrospect]

#7045628 - 06/14/07 12:17 PM (13 years, 3 months ago) Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply



Man that was a great trip report. Perfectly written.



--------------------

"i'm melted, I'm melted, I'm mellllltteeeeed" -Ty segall



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Reminds me of my first real acid trip. What a wonderful molecule.



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Thank you! I loved the read. It really makes me want to push myself with LSD more than I have previously. 5 shrooms!



--------------------

No statements made in any post or message by myself should be construed to mean that I am now, or have ever been, participating in or considering participation in any activities in violation of any local, state, federal, or fashion police laws. All posts are works of fiction.



For well you know that its a fool who plays it cool

By making his world a little colder.



Under closer inspection I realised it was a funky ball of tits from outer space.







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Hey everyone! Thanks for the replies



That night changed me forever, im glad you guys can relate to it







--------------------

*Divine Moments of Truth*





"Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon



"Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead



"Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter



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Quote:

cilosyb said:



I hope you've had the chance to take DMT









haha yes...i have experienced the ultimate blast....can't quite write up a trip report of that though...where english leaves off is where DMT starts....



--------------------

*Divine Moments of Truth*





"Limitless undying love which shines around me like a million suns - it calls me on and on across the universe" ~ John Lennon



"Once in a while you get shown the light in the strangest of places if you look at it right" ~The Grateful Dead



"Religionists, with their guaranteed eventual paradise, of which they know nothing, taking it all on 'faith,' can't be expected to understand or sympathize with those with a yen to storm the Gate of Heaven and see for themselves what all the praying's about!" ~Robert Hunter



Post Extras:



Great report, great read. I can relate to having the most intense experience with shrooms and trying to reach that level again with not much luck.



And how would you/could you compare that intense of a trip to a DMT trip? Is it a whole different intensity?



--------------------



"The dream is dreaming itself"--Kalahari Bushmen



Post Extras:

Dhaze





Posts: 28

Last seen: 10 years, 7 months StrangerLast seen: 10 years, 7 months Re: The Night That Changed My Life - Reflections On LSD ( ULTRA LONG) [Re: Salvia_Antics]

#7073471 - 06/21/07 03:34 AM (13 years, 3 months ago) Edit Reply Quote Quick Reply