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There are some things money just can't buy—including, but not limited to, love, happiness and Chris Colabello's digestive health.

The latter was nearly put on the line when teammate Jose Bautista and his other Blue Jays brethren wagered $15,000 on the outfielder's ability to consume an entire eight-pound dish of lobster macaroni and cheese.

The terms were simple: chow down, cash out.

Set to gain? A sizable amount of money, taste-bud bliss and likely a little weight.

At stake? Nearly everything mentioned in the Pepto-Bismol song.

But despite the fact that Colabello was afforded the opportunity to have his dough and eat his mac, too, he hesitated at the sight of the glorious challenge.

In fact, according to Bautista, Colabello considered buying into the dare for 40 minutes:

Updates: 8:34 he is still struggling with it

8:45 im losing hope over here

8:53 not looking good...

8:56 @kpillar11 shows up and is upset that #CoachBelo is taking so long to decide

8:59 officially has waved the white flag, not even an attempt...disappointing...

Ultimately, he declined the once-in-a-lifetime proposition.

Of course, he could have always negotiated a higher price, or even suggested lessening the burden of pasta, but isn't indulging in that cheesy deliciousness a prize in and of itself?

[Instagram, h/t SB Nation]