You know what? Fuck it. I sat here for a good five minutes trying to work out the best way to start this episode of ‘Top Fantasy Reads’ off, be it “Hey Guys” or “Welcome back” or the other tonne of greetings I wrote and then immediately deleted. But enough of that bollocks.

We’re all aware that I’m a fairly miserable bastard with a self inflated ego, right?

Your Highness! you are completely deserving of your modesty you sexy man-beast you… *Purr*

Well, be that as it may, peasant, you’re aware that when I type these small-talking bullshit hello’s, there’s a 90% chance I really couldn’t give two flying fuckrells. Right?

Well I me-

Shh, adults are talking. As I was saying, I really don’t care. Don’t get me wrong, I value each and every person that reads my nonsense, every single serf that trawls their way through my pages, even the degenerates like yourself dear reader, yes, you. I value you. In fact, stop right there and give yourself a pat on the back.

So what exactly is it that I’m saying? Well, you know there’s those times when you’re at work, or in the supermarket, even just walking down the road and you bump into someone you know, or maybe not even know, maybe someone who you’re just aware of their existence, or even worse – A complete stranger. Well in those moment’s when you first make contact, be it a nod or a wave, a handshake or a hug, that’s when things go to shit. Social niceties. I hate them as much as I hate Twilight, and anyone that’s read pretty much any of my stuff will know immediately that that’s a hell of a lot.

“How’re you doing?” They ask, like they give a shit.

“Great thanks, what about you?” So not only are you compelled to lie, but you then feel pressured into asking the same bullshit question, which you equally give no fucks about just to be polite. Or perhaps that’s just called being English.

I mean, why can’t people just come up to you, and have a straight forward, to the point conversation. Sure, if you’ve done something interesting, by all means tell me about it. I might even listen, providing it’s not either:

A. about your children, unless were as close as family, I again, don’t give a fuck. all babies look like potatoes with arms and legs. No it doesn’t look like you, neither does it look like the Father, it looks like Mr Potatohead from toystory, now fuck off.

or

B. Boring. which I’m not going to lie, this encompasses a lot.

Anyway, mission succeeded, I managed to start a book review by moaning about how to start a book review to start the book review. Boom.

In this issue, were going to take a look at one of my all time favourites, something I’ve already touched upon in less detail in an earlier edition of ‘Top Fant

asy Reads’. Strangely enough, I was pretty much forced into reading this by a work colleague that I was actually house sharing with at the time. I’m not going to lie, I had pretty much 0 interest in reading it. Sure, I had heard it was good, but from the description it just sounded straight up ridiculous.

What is it? I hear you whisper in agonising suspense. This blogger is a wanker, I hear you think. Well, it’s Brandon Sanderson’s “Mistborn” and fuck you.

Brandon Sanderson: Mistborn

So, why did I just describe the description of these wonderful books as ridiculous?

Okay, so, I heard about the series by word of mouth. My housemate had just finished them, and it wouldn’t be a stretch to say that he, uh… He was a little odd. For example, he often wore a top hat with steampunk type goggles on, a large feather attached to a red band around the main part of the hat, coupled with a waistcoat. All this whilst sitting in a cupboard in his room playing with some Lord of the Rings Lego.

So when he turns around to me and says “Hey, why don’t you read this book about random people that swallow blobs of metal to move shit with their mind and go all psychicky under the rule of an immortal tyrant”, I must admit, it didn’t appeal.

Eventually, I gave in. And boy am I glad that I did. The books are masterful. they’re not like anything I’ve ever read before, the steampunk element, originally the bit that put me completely off of reading them turned out to blend in with the Fantasy world Sanderson had created, absolutely seamlessly. The system of magic was flawless, completely believable, and even indexed at the end of each book to show the names and properties of each metal used in Allomancy (one of the magic systems) in such detail, that it’s like reading an instruction manual of facts rather than fiction.

The Characters are brilliant, each individual literally exudes personality, every single one unique and amazing in their own way… although be warned… there’s an element of George R.R. Martin’s way of writing within these pages, if you know what I mean.

The storyline is also, for once, as amazing as it’s characters, which personally I find quite rare. Often with a good novel, one of three things will be slightly ahead of the others, either the world building, the characters, or the plot. But no. Sanderson’s works intertwines all three so artfully that I genuinely could not choose between them to say which one surpasses the others. What I really enjoyed about these books, was that the whole way through, the plot was complex and it kept you guessing, right up until the final moments.

Here, everything comes tumbling together, Click, Click, Click, Things snapping into place left right and center, the realisation of what Sanderson’s done blowing your mind all at once as the end game becomes evident. Reading these books during these parts is literally like watching a movie, your mind the theater, Sanderson’s words the roll of film and your imagination the camera.

Have you ever read a book that when the shit begins to kick off, you feel that rush of emotion, excitement, suspense, often paired with a stupid grin as you read, yet tainted by a smidgen of sorrow as you realise, if this is all happening now, the story’s nearly over. If you haven’t? Read these books. If you have? Read these books still, they’ll give you the feeling, and not just once.

The world that Sanderson creates is wonderful. He splits the classes of people to the extent that they become of different races, the nobles and the Skaa. The nobles fed well and rich, masters of the Skaa, whilst the Skaa themselves live in poverty, crammed into small dank huts and starved half to death. The Lord Ruler, an oppressive immortal tyrant that cares not for the common man, indifferent to their suffering. So what happens?

Well, revolution of course.

As I always say, I won’t reveal any more… my review style is more of a recommendation than a content review, so I try not to give too much away. If you’ve tried the books I’ve recommended previously, then you should have probably learned to trust me by now, so off you trot. Go get the damn book.

Also, In the same vein – Once you’ve finished these bad boys, you’ll definitely be wanting something more in the mistborn universe to read.

Head straight for the “Wax and Wayne” novels, these carry on hundreds, if not thousands of years after where the mistborn books left off… again I was pessimistic about these, solely due to the fact I really don’t like modernity mixed in with my Fantasy… Again I was pleasantly surprised. The books were fantastic, Waxillium, one of two main characters, admittedly I found rather annoying; But Wayne? potentially one of my favorite characters out there.

The story continues in the far off future, a time where electric lighting has just been discovered, guns were the dominant weapon choice, trains and other steampunk-esque factors come into play. This again was what put me off, but it turned out to be what made it brilliant.

It’s impossible to say much more about this series without ruining the end of the other, as it picks up from the major event at the end of the Mistborn series… Which admittedly is annoying. But trust in your King.

Missed out on the earlier issues? Dont worry, I got’chu.

Or Fancy something different to read? Try A Liar’s Game, an original episodic story, written right here on Fantasy Road. Immerse yourself in the life of everybody’s favourite drunken degenerate, Tayne Halmar:

As always, Thanks for reading! Leave a comment, let me know what you think! Subscribe, like and follow!