Recently, it was announced that Nike was going to fulfill the dreams of children of the ’80s everywhere and make their own version of the Back to the Future Part II power lace sneakers (call me when they finally make the hover-board or time machine Delorean, for that matter).

We here at CutPrintFilm have compiled a list of 10 other movie products we’d like to see realized some day, however doubtful that may be.

1. The books of Sutter Cane from In The Mouth of Madness

John Carpenter’s In the Mouth of Madness is an underrated gem, and how I often wish the books by notorious author/antichrist Sutter Cane in that film were real. Sure, the end result is that they drive you absolutely fucking insane, eventually warping you into a deformed Lovecraftian monster, but how cool would it be to actually read something THAT scary?

2. The OS from Her

Look, I don’t need a Scarlett Johansson phone sex machine–I already have one of those. However, I do need an OS for just about everything else in my life. I spend the bulk of my day alone and it would be priceless to have a voice inside my phone that kept me motivated and organized. I have written endless short stories that no one has read – I would kill for a personal assistant that would edit them and send them to publishers without me even knowing! Applying to grad school took me 3 months! I have 1,426 unread emails on my iPhone! Do you understand how appealing this thing is? In any case, if the OS isn’t invented in my lifetime I still have a chance of finding it someday in another dimension after I die…

3. Scrumdidilyumptious Bar from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

I must have watched this movie at least once a week as a kid. The songs, characters and story are all wonderful but what drew me in at first sight was the goddamn candy. It looked amazing! A full course meal chewing gum? Give it. Wallpaper you can lick? Put it over my face. But above everything, even the delicious looking Wonka Bars themselves, sits the Scrumdidilyumptious Bar. I don’t even know what the fuck it is! But it’s long, thin and covered in chocolate. Maybe it’s nougat in there? Maybe marshmallow? Doesn’t matter. You can push your golden ticket up your ass, just give me a Scrumdidilyumptious Bar. If these things actually existed I’d have diabetes.

4. Lacuna, Inc’s memory wipe from Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

I’ve done a lot of bad stuff in my life, and a lot of bad stuff has been done to me. Don’t get me wrong—I’m an average white male who grew up in the suburbs, so it’s not like I’ve had the hardest life on P.Earth; but there are a lot of things I wish I could take back, and if I can’t take them back, just wipe them from my memory entirely. For better or worse, removing entire chunks of my past would make me a completely different person, and that’s too interesting to pass up.

5. Limited Edition Zissou Adidas from The Life Aquatic

Wes Anderson is known for his aesthetic production design and the Zissou Adidas have to be the pinnacle of his talent. These are the coolest shoes to grace the silver screen (yes, even cooler than those shitty space Nikes from Back to the Future).

6. Ray Zalinksy’s Auto Parts from Tommy Boy

This movie came out long before I could even drive, but there was always something about Dan Aykroyd’s Ray Zalinsky that made me want to buy brake pads off of him. When the commercial for Zalinsky’s auto parts comes on 2/3rds of the way through the movie, it brings me instant nostalgia; not for the movie itself but for going to the auto parts store with my dad. You can literally smell the oil stained concrete while the commercial is playing. I’d surely have brand loyalty if Ray Zalinksy actually sold oil filters.

7. Red Apple cigarettes from Taraninto films.

I try not to glorify smoking too much, since smoking helped kill members of my family. But dammit, sometimes people really do look cool smoking cigarettes, especially in movies. And if there were one brand I consistently smoked, it would be Red Apple’s from various Quentin Tarantino films.

8. Chemrail Gun from Elysium

Elysium is a terrible terrible movie. Matt Damon seems bored the entire time, Jodie Foster could be the worst actress of all time, and the plot plays out like Occupy Wall Street in space. Its saving grace appears in the film’s third act, in the form of the most badass handheld weapon to ever show up in a film. The Chemrail gun takes a second to charge and then annihilates everything in its path. I would buy this thing in a second, if not to just shoot through 6 walls and eventually hit Neil Blomkamp before he makes another movie.

9. Joker Products from Batman

Say what you want about Jack Nicholson’s portrayal of The Joker in 1989’s Batman, but that guy could push a product! Even as I sat there horrified as the live news anchors fall out of their seats laughing to death, I was thinking maybe I should be using a little Smylex™ in my shampoo and conditioner. It just seemed so legit! Plus he’s hopping all over the place, yelling at the camera. It’s like QVC except I’d actually buy that shitty, refurbished Macbook if this guy was selling it to me.

10. Dapper Dan pomade from O Brother, Where Art Thou

My hair is constantly out of control, and I hate getting haircuts, so it tends to grow wild. When it gets to that point, I usually need to start putting something in it to weigh it down. I suppose I could go to the drug store and get some Fop, but I don’t want Fop, goddamn it. I’m a Dapper Dan man.

This list was compiled by the CutPrintFilm staff.