opinion

My Turn: My transgender daughter was forced to leave her school

My daughter is lucky.

At 5, she’s a new kindergartner and has headed back to school like millions of kids around the state. In the first three weeks of school, she has made some friends at recess, become determined to learn to lace up her own shoes, and she’s proud to be among a small handful of kindergarten students who have a jump start on reading. I’m proud of that too.

My beautiful, perfect daughter is transgender. And when she made her gender identity clear, my wife and I chose to support her fully, to let her lead her gender transition and help guide us as we knock down obstacles that would rob her of opportunities to succeed. Though it was frightening, we’ve worked to trust that the values of compassion, kindness, honesty, truth and goodness will form a base strong enough to help her as she builds her self-esteem and self-confidence.

Not all schools are willing to learn

My daughter is one of the lucky ones. Her public district school is willing to learn what it means for a student to be transgender. They are not afraid to ask questions and learn with us, and for the most part have been supportive and are open to receiving help, guidance and advice.

But things haven’t always gone smoothly for our family. Last year, our daughter was forced to leave a local, high-performing public charter school because of the school’s discriminatory policies regarding transgender students. These policies had been adopted despite the fact that they run counter to all guidance from mainstream professional medical, mental health and educational organizations.

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The school would have required my daughter to follow the male standard dress code, forced her to line up in the “boys line” in the classroom, and allowed teachers to use male pronouns when referencing her. We had to make a change and we were fortunate enough to be able to find a school that treated our daughter just like the rest of her peers, allowing her to learn and, eventually, flourish.

The unfortunate reality is that LGBTQ children may not get the positive support they need at home, or from their community. The eight hours spent at school may be the only time and place where an LGBTQ youth can be themselves, and free to focus on growing and developing who they are and who they want to be.

Unsupportive schools hurt everyone

Research shows that academic achievement is directly proportional to a student’s level of engagement at school. If a child is disinterested, afraid and anxious in the classroom, their chances of future success are significantly lower, and when a child has no support, no leaders or mentors or role models to look up to, we cannot expect them to thrive.

If, however, we welcome, affirm and allow all students to be themselves without fear, we can create and foster school environments that are safe places for these young people to reach their fullest potential.

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My daughter is lucky. She has support at home, in her community and at school. But as we all head back to school, I hope all educators can get to know and support all their students, all of whom deserve every chance at success.

My daughter is lucky. And I am so lucky to be her father.

Robert Chevaleau is president of the Arizona Trans Youth and Parent Organization. Email him at rob@aztypo.org.