Donna, a 29-year-old risk consultant, adores caring for rats and breeding them in her spare time. She currently has seven adults and 11 babies

What do my pet rats say about me?

“They say I’m caring. Rats are the ideal pet for me, as they fit around my life and are always happy to see me.”

And what they really say

In this aesthetic age of hipster kittens and cute cockapoos, when pets are ranked according to their Instagram-appropriateness, some of us feel that rats are not getting their due. Rats might not look sweet in a teacup or a knitted tutu, but they make great pets: they’re super-friendly, very clever and like to scrabble around in your jumper before popping up at your neck, like a wriggly scarf. I know this because, when I was 20, I had a pet rat. I called him Barney after the lead singer of New Order. Barney died in unfortunate circumstances (another story), but he was proper fun while he lasted.

Anyway. Donna is a rat breeder, a woman who understands rats. She is clearly happy to hold them, fine about them rootling in her hair (rats love walking over your head). I have no doubt she enjoys chasing them around the sofa. Donna has made nice big cages for her rats, but they’ll still need exercise. Rats like to look around, though they won’t run across rooms. They’ve been hunted for too long; they stick to the edges.

Rats are curious, and you can easily take one on a trip. You just hide it in your coat. I once took Barney to McDonald’s, but we were thrown out for being vermin (the cheek!). I didn’t mind: I could never get through a bag of chips without Barney swiping at least half of them. Rats are ultra-quick thieves, ninja nickers.

Judging by her clothes, Donna is not a goth (rats are a goth clubcard in animal form), so we can say her rats show that she is kind and caring, and that she looks beyond the obvious. She knows that appearances don’t matter as much as affection. She and her rats look happy, just as cute as can be.



If you would like Miranda to cast an eye over your favourite possession, email a photograph to magazine@observer.co.uk