"Mazda Wants Jalopnik Readers To Help Create The Next Miata"

Not really, but it's a good marketing ploy. But since they asked...

Go after a market segment that doesn't currently exist. Don't make a better burger, make a steak-wich. You did it before when you brought out the original. Do it again.

What would I like to see? Something I know you won't actually do:

1. Less than 1600 pounds curb weight. Maybe only as the base model, but available just the same.

2. Less than $15,000, and preferably less than $12,500. The economy is still weak. Give the people a car they can afford and still be proud of. If you've accomplished (1.) above there isn't much in it to cause a higher price. Think of all the people who bought Beetles instead of Fords and Chevys back in the '60s and '70s.

How is it possible, you ask? Simply be simple. Don't add anything that's not STRICTLY necessary.

No power anything. No keyless entry, no sat-nav, no stereo, not the locks, not the windows, not nothin'. Well, ok, maybe the wipers.

No A/C. I'll drop the top if I'm hot.

No steering assist if the suspension and steering geometry will allow. (At 1600 lbs there shouldn't be much effort needed anyway.)

High power/weight engine. (Tri-rotor rotary, perhaps?)

Fixed seat, moveable pedals and wheel, which lets you make the seat simply a set of padding for the interior sheet metal. (Plant my ass on THE FLOOR! Helps the headroom situation with a helmet, too.)

See if the Government will accept a four- or five-point harness instead of an airbag. Install the harness anyway.

No glass except the front windshield. Side curtains (that work, please) or polycarbonate. It's lighter, and when it inevitably gets scratched I can pick up an EASILY INSTALLED new set for $20.

No "space saver" spare. Gimme a real one. Chances are that when I do get a flat I'll have a full trunk, which won't close once I put the full sized wheel back in. Space savers only make sense if I'm going to abandon the flat tire and rim on the side of the road.

Smaller, narrower tires and wheels. A lighter car won't get fat tires up to a proper operating (read: sticky) temperature. Narrower tires push less air aside and don't need to displace as much water in wet (or snowy) conditions - better fuel economy and better bad weather handling. Cheaper, too.

Four regular size headlights, and I don't mean projector bulbs. Cheap, remember? (If I catch you turning one off to make a turn signal visible, I'm gonna slap you. If you can't see the signal light when the headlights are on, you've put them in the wrong place.) Two for low beam, two for high. No muss, no fuss, no throwing out a perfectly good high beam because the low filament burned out.

A minimal trunk. I'm not using this thing to go camping for a week. Don't make it look like I can.

A truly spartan interior. A Ferrari 250 GTO has a bicycle brake cable and sleeve for a door handle - light, simple and effective. Look and learn. I'm not saying you have to use the same thing, just consider other possibilities. No carpet where it isn't absolutely necessary - under foot, not under the seats.

A half-width dash, if even that much. Just enough for the instruments and controls' switches. (Lighter, remember?) You can still duct the heat without feeling the need to hide it all.

A proper roll bar as part of the crash structure, and a fire extinguisher as standard equipment. The safetycrats will sing your praises. Something SCCA-worthy would be nice.

Make "nimble" the watch-word for the handling team. It's gonna be light. It should FEEL light.

Tactile controls. I wan't to be able to distinguish every control in every position with my eyes firmly closed, no peeking. If I have to look at a control, I have to take my eyes off of the road to do it. Don't make me do that, and don't come at me with that touch screen shite. Simple, tactile, inexpensive, and easy to repair. Basic, people. Basic!

And since you're going to have to actually make this thing stand well out from the crowd as well as be even more attractive to potential buyers... Colours you don't see on everything else. Gulf colours, though not necessarily Gulf livery. Brittish racing green. Granite pink. Lust red. Deep ice blue. Anything NOT ordinary. Have a wide variety of "custom" graphics available too. Pin striping, race stripes, swoops, curves, curlyqueues, plaid and paisley, leopard print, whatever. Offer made-to-order graphics if it'll make sales, hemp flags, boy band photos and all. ("You give us the picture, we'll get it on your car.")

Design for ease of repair and modification/upgrade, not ease of factory assembly. We don't work on the engine before it's lifted up (UP!!) into the engine bay. Ever. An easily removed nose (right up to the cowl) would make that sort of thing simple, wouldn't it?

Simplicity everywhere. When I open up the hood, I want to be able to see some of the ground beneath the car. No pretty looking covers over the mechanicals, just enough to keep a clumsy hand out of harm's way. The engine is a beautiful thing. Don't hide it.

Proper consideration for colder climates. Don't make a block heater and jump points an afterthought. Have proper hatches or doors for them like you do for the fuel filler neck. This will also let you reposition the battery to a lower and more centralized place for better handling. (Hint, hint.)

Styling: sex. Look at an E-type Jag, a Type 57SC Atlantic Bugatti, a 330-P4 Ferrari, a DB4 Aston Martin, a Daytona Coupe, or whatever turns your own personal crank. Make it your own design, but make it SCREAM sex. Never mention this at all in the marketing. Don't hint at it, don't wink, not nothin'. If you've done it right, you won't have to.

Make that car, Mazda, and make it by the hundreds of thousands. Screw exclusivity. It's nice for the rich, but the rest of us need to know that there will be parts and service widely available for an extended period of time. SOME of the rest of us would also like to have enough of them out there for the aftermarket to justify supporting it.

"If you build it, they will hoon."