The human ass is the greatest product of our evolution. Not many other animals can boast a padded pillow that’s always attached to your body. Not only that, but it’s a functional pillow that you can use to climb stairs and crush walnuts, if you’re into either of those things.

And get this: a good number of people find asses sexy. That’s right, there’s a hunk of your body that can be exclusive, useful, comfortable, and attractive. While thumbs may be the biggest practicality, the human ass is the biggest luxury in the animal kingdom. So let’s sit on our ass all day, because if we didn’t, it would be like spitting in the face of our ancestors.

wes