If men are dogs, then here’s how you collar them.

The dating-advice duo behind “The Man Whisperer” book promise in their step-by-step guide that getting your guy to follow your every command involves shedding feminism — part-time.

Donna Sozio and Samantha Brett suggest women can tame their beasts by simply smiling more and shutting their mouths.

The Post and a few canny confederates gave it a try.

CASE #1: CAN I GET HIM

TO TAKE ME TO DINNER?

I decide to Man Whisper to the unsuspecting dog in my life and discover that keeping my personality on a leash seems to work.

This, of course, is hard for a feminist shrew like me who has happily violated their every relationship communication rule, like never nagging or talking up my achievements.

I closely adhere to the instructions: identifying what I want, posing the issue effectively and adding a benefit for my man. I wrap myself in sunshine.

“I was hoping that we could have dinner after work tomorrow,” I beam. “It’s still Restaurant Week and it’ll be fun.”

I follow up with a crucial step — zipping it.

A few moments of silence go by before he pulls his phone out and books a late reservation at Trattoria Dell’Arte.

CASE #2: CAN I GET HIM

TO PAY ATTENTION?

Man Whisperers never interrupt while he’s watching the game. “Men can only do one thing at a time,” Brett said.

Even though we might be just as busy, tired and hungry, we must never ask for attention over and over again. “All he hears is nag, nag, nag,” she said.

So when Elizabeth, 36, Man Whispered to Billy, 44, she patiently waited until he ate the last strand of spaghetti. She then bargained for a bit of time when he was sated and relaxed.

CASE #3 CAN I GET HIM

TO GO FOR A FACIAL?

If Man Whispering can make him give us attention, can it be used to convince him to slather seaweed scrub on his face and cucumbers placed on his eyes?

“It would be really neat if for Valentine’s Day we found a way to do a spa day together,” Elizabeth Whispered.

Elizabeth spoke about couples massage bliss, then threw in an offer for lunch.

“Yeah, a massage would be great,” he said.

And just when she thought he was lapping this up, she gingerly mentioned the facial — but he declined.

“It would be great. You would enjoy it,” she added.

Then Elizabeth zipped it.

“Maybe,” he said.

CASE #4 CAN I GET HIM

TO PAY FOR DINNER?

Cathy, 34, and Chris, 35, often take turns picking up the tab. So she tried to Man Whisper her way out of the check on her night to pay.

Men are hardwired to solve, protect and please — and dig appreciation, the authors said. Before heading to dine at Rosie O’Grady’s, Cathy gushed about her eagerness for the outing.

At the restaurant, she savored steak and he feasted on seafood. When the $95 check arrived, Cathy simply showed appreciation and zipped it.

He paid without discussion.

“Usually there’s more of a question mark,” she said.

CASE #5 CAN I GET

HIM TO BE ON TIME?

Hours before my 9 p.m. restaurant rendezvous, I text my dog my own declaration of appreciation.

I doll myself up in a skirt before heading over to Seventh Avenue in the frigid weather. I stick a perma-smile on my face even though I am exhausted. I wait.

And I wait.

“I’m stuck,” he texts, two minutes before our reservation.

There’s no chapter in “The Man Whisperer” on tardiness, so I smile at every taxi that stops on the corner. At 9:50 I take shelter in a coffee shop and quietly sip a warm, bitter drink.

He finally arrives.

I become less Man Whisperer and more Man Screamer.

cgiove@nypost.com

