What a magnificent cavalcade of delights! My Santa truly outdid themselves! My stocking was stuff with:

Bacon candy canes What more iconic merging of Christmas and Reddit could there be? I challenge you to answer that!

A molecular gastronomy kit! My Santa knew I was slooowly learning to put ingredients together into foods, so they gifted me a starter set for combining science and cooking. This level of wizardry is far beyond my meager abilities, so it's like a Nimbus 2000 for magical comestomancy. I will leapfrog my own talent – if I'm opening a restaurant this time next year because of you, Santa, please come eat for free! (Minus planefare.)

Astronaut ice cream! Chocolate flavor with chocolate chips? In space, no one can hear me scream (for ice cream)!

Fiendish Japanese puzzles! Nothing rebuilds your confidence like straining and struggling and, finally, after hours of toil, triumphing over inanimate objects! I'm so excited.

Ghost pepper candy balls! Their mere existence is a challenge. Dare I try one? Should I survive, dare I try a second? Should enough of my tongue remain afterward to form syllables, dare I reduce my friendcount by offering to share them? The fear is strong, but my intrigue is winning! (This entry was posted moments before RegretGames' firey death.)

A cheese slicer...! It looks like a little Polaroid instant camera. Clearly, my Santa knew my secret desire to be a pioneer in the field of fromagography – even I didn't know that! I have to try this!

This will be a very merry Christmas indeed! Thank you, and may your days be merry and bright!