Cat Rodie with her children. She has managed to shield them from the public discussion on same-sex marriage but has plans for tackling the topic if it comes up. "Yes I can," she said. "My Aunty Jo married a girl. You can marry whoever you like if you love them and they love you." That was the end of it. The other kids accepted my daughter's argument and the conversation moved on. I chose not to mention the fact that same-sex marriage isn't legal in Australia – why rain on their parade? My stepsister, Jo, married Sophie, the love of her life, two years ago – in Britain, where they live. Same-sex marriage has been legal there since 2014. They were so happy that their faces ached from smiling. They said their vows surrounded by friends and family, and like any other wedding the love in the room was palpable. I have one of Jo and Sophie's wedding photos displayed on the bookcase in our lounge room. Two beautiful women in their white dresses – a constant reminder of a joyous day. My daughters comment on it from time to time, not because there are two brides, but because they love their aunties.

Jo and Sophie, the aunties who married in Britain. Their faces ached from smiling on their big day. As far as my children are concerned, same-sex relationships are just another type of family in a range of models. In their own network, they have friends with married parents, friends with a single parent, friends with unmarried parents and friends with two mums. For them, same-sex marriage is just another option. I have decided not to tell my daughters anything about Australia's same-sex marriage debate. As far as they are concerned, there isn't anything to debate. Telling them that there are people who don't think same-sex couples should be allowed to marry would be like telling them that the troll under the bridge in their storybook is real. They would be shocked and sad that anyone could oppose a couple like Jo and Sophie. In making this decision though, I realise that I have the privilege of being able to protect my children from the "debate" because ultimately, the results will not affect them.

So how are same-sex couples handling this dilemma with their children? I asked my friend Anna* if she had discussed the same-sex marriage plebiscite with her seven-year-old daughter. "We decided to tell [our daughter] about it so that if it came up at school she would be prepared," she tells me. "We didn't want her hearing about it from anyone else." Anna and her female partner told their daughter that there were some people who thought it was not OK for "two mummies" or "two daddies" to be married. "We explained that people were being asked to vote. She was pretty nonplussed – for her it was obvious that you should be allowed to marry the person you love," says Anna. Anna has also been very careful to avoid commercial television and has hidden newspapers so that her daughter isn't exposed to negative comments about families like hers. She notes that safely navigating her daughter through such public "debate" is a bit like walking a tightrope. So far, I have been able to shield my daughters from it.

But in case it does come up, I am prepared to explain it to them in language they understand. Psychologist Giuliett Moran from Empowering Parents says that when tackling any big difficult questions, age-appropriate honesty is the best way forward. Moran says the same-sex marriage plebiscite presents a good opportunity to talk to my daughters about inclusion and exclusion. Loading "This is something that happens in the playground at school, and encouraging her to identify a time when she or a peer were left out can then be linked to why, on a much bigger scale, Australia is working towards updating their laws so that no one is left out of the opportunity to marry, regardless of who they love," she says.

I hope that by the time they are old enough to understand why anyone would object to same-sex marriage, the law will have changed and marriage equality will be a reality.