WASHINGTON—Slowly shifting from side to side while strategically placing a pillow to provide lower back support, pregnant women across the nation announced Monday the long-awaited discovery of a comfortable sitting position. “Oh, right there—yeah, that’s perfect,” said Mequon, WI resident Dana Schmitz, echoing the sentiments of thousands of other soon-to-be mothers as she reportedly closed her eyes and grinned while settling into a cozy spot in her living room chair. “There, that feels so much better.” At press time, the country’s pregnant women were reportedly uncomfortable again.

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