“I can’t figure it out,” one of the writers to Psych Central’s “Ask the Therapist” column wrote recently. “My parents never give me any emotional support or even seem to like me. I always get good grades and do what they ask me to do. I’m the president of the service club at my high school and I’m on the varsity basketball team. But my younger sisters who are out of control can do no wrong. They are disrespectful, yell at each other and our parents, and have been picked up for shoplifting and for underage drinking. But I’m the one who is criticized, put down, and ignored. Sometimes they even hit me for no reason. Why don’t they love me?”

It’s a plaintive plea that comes through the email several times a month. Writers speak eloquently of the pain of being rejected by the very people who are supposed to love, cherish, and care for them. It goes well beyond “favoritism.” These teens and adults feel actively disliked by their parents. They report being beaten, yelled at, berated, and belittled. Sometimes they even report not being adequately fed and cared for while other children in the family do get at least the minimums and often far more than the need. In some families, it’s gender-specific, with the boy being the little prince while the girls are in servitude. Sometimes the girls are exempt while the boy in the family is treated harshly. In others it’s the oldest or youngest of the kids of the one who looks a little different that’s cruelly treated or ignored. What could possibly make adults treat a kid, especially an essentially good kid, with such contempt? How could parents single out one child for abuse while caring for others?