We live in an era where equality is the most sought-after buzzword. Everyone fights the fight for equal rights, equal opportunity, equal laws, equal justice, but lose the same enthusiasm when it comes to equal responsibility. There are no varying degrees to equality, either you are equal, or you are not. Either you want the law to treat you equally or you don’t. Either you want an equal relationship, or you don’t. But I still notice how it’s the women who are not actually ready for equality and choose to play the “tradition” and “woman” card at whim. For example, there are many girls who date men and want the right to be equals in the relationship, but not the responsibility when it comes to paying the bill.

I’ve met and heard of many wives who enjoy their work but expect the husbands to be the provider. In case of a divorce, women demand equal or full child support from the child’s father but deny him the right to be an equal parent. Fact is women can play the empowered card, woman card or victim card at will. They can file a fake case of rape on a man and play the victimised woman card effectively when it comes to being punished for the same. In a divorce, a woman is always perceived as getting the raw end of things no matter what the circumstances.

Why do we believe a man doesn’t grieve the demise of marriage as deeply? We protect all the money a woman brings into her marriage under streedhan but don’t accord the same dignity or right of purushdhan to a man. We have outlawed dowry, which is a demand made at the time of marriage on the wife’s family, but don’t protect the man’s family from the same in a divorce. Todays empowered women to play the victim card, pity card, or woman card, which is deeply ingrained in our societal DNA, to their complete benefit. This article will make a lot of women deeply uncomfortable because it involves being true equals. The burning question is, “Are women truly ready to embrace equality, and if not, how much longer do men have to continuously bear the brunt of “subjective equality” because it’s “convenient” for women to have it so.

I have been seeing someone I met through a friend. We went out for coffee a few times, but on two occasions, I saw him pick up my phone and go through it. I didn’t like that. How do I explain to him about maintaining healthy boundaries?

Men who have such obvious trust issues are the hardest to define boundaries with. If he seems the kind that would be open to therapy, it’s worth pursuing. Else, it’s just going to be a non-stop drama in your life that clearly will not have a happy ending.

My son, who’s 16 has just got a girlfriend. He’s a bright boy and has been scoring well, but of late he has been ignoring his studies. I’m worried. What should I do?

Tell him it’s normal at his age to have hormones raging and to be doing exactly what he is doing and that it’s equally normally for you, as a parent, to panic. Sit him down and explain the years of effort and costs that have gone into getting him this far and that it’s the last lap that matters the most. Add that you would hate to be the parent who forbids him from meeting a loved one, and then finally, reach an agreement with him that you will not unless his grades fall.

I have experienced this so many times – whenever I got on a date, I end up paying. Do you feel guys have forgotten their good manners and chivalry? Or is going dutch the way to go on the first date? What do you suggest who should pay on the first date?

Some women get offended if a man offers to pay, and some women get offended if he doesn’t. Some women get pissed off if a man opens a car door for them, some women get upset if he doesn’t. If old-world gallantry and charm matter to you, make it known from the very onset and date only those fit (and foot) the bill. However, if you’re earning, and believe in equality of sexes, it’s silly to lose out on a good man and potential relationship for the price of a meal. Dating is about figuring each other out and taking multiple women for dinner till you find a compatible one can be financially draining.