Because of the slight lack of originality in this game, we’ve decided to inject some originality into the review. So this review will be in the form of an epic poem. The full, poetic review after the break.

Blood Stone, with double-oh-seven

Might seem like it came straight from heaven;

The voice-acting’s sweet,

The weapons are neat,

And the ‘splosions are cranked to eleven.

It seems an idea really groovy

(But might have been made on LSD)

To make James Bond a game,

At least, that was their aim,

But it’s just an in-ter-active movie.

The intro is truly the best

It looks like a true Bond film-fest

The Joss Stone song is great,

And we really do hate

That not all of this game is so blessed.

The voice acting’s really top rated

This cannot be too understated.

Daniel Craig and Joss Stone

(And it’s not them alone)

Made sure none of the voice-acting grated.

There are tons of exotic locations

With many nefarious operations

The kills are quite samey

The takedowns are lamey

As Bond performs hospit’lizations.

The game’s got some fun car-chase scenes

And some really great licensed machines

And while you are driving

Explosions are flying

And blowing things to smithereens.

Bond’s smartphone, to help navigation

Has really too much information

James can see, off the bat

Where his enemies at;

It clearly isn’t for communication.

Enemies aren’t really varied

The wisdom of this I have queried.

Line them up with your gun,

Shoot them down one by one,

Until they are all dead and buried.

You can wait till your foe sneaks up close

And him with a take-down dispose

Beat him up with your fists

Till the baddie desists

Then back into cover Bond goes.

The game’s not into exploration

But much rather assassination

With lots of car racing

(And some problem pacing)

And the occasional sexual relation.

My biggest complaint’s to be seen:

The developers really are mean.

Boss battles and such?

That’s right, no so much.

They put all of it in a cut-scene!

In short, this is double-oh-snore

James Bond has a license to bore

A forgettable game

And that’s really a shame

Cos it could have been so, so much more.