How to Socialize As an Introvert: Skills for Survival

There’s nothing more irritating than the idea of wanting to socialize but uncertain on how to do it. It’s like wanting the desire to eat healthier although you have no idea on how to start yet or what to quit eating. And for introverts who have friends, they could simply call one of them to spend time with them.

However, for introverts without any close friends, it gets a little tricky. Besides coworkers or classmates, introverts aren’t placed in many situations where they make friends. But after spending the necessary time to themselves, introverts still need to socialize to keep a healthy lifestyle. So what’s the solution?

1. Determine the Best Location for You

The location you determine will depend on your own level of comfort when around other people. If you’re someone who enjoys quiet areas that is still populated by people, then the library or coffee shop will be your best choice. However, if you don’t mind loud crowds or events, your best options are either a bar, club, or party.

2. Mentally Prepare Yourself

Before you head to whatever location you settled for, take the pressure off your shoulders. Accept that you don’t need to party like an extrovert when you arrive to your designation. Accept you don’t have to talk to every person in the room.

As an introvert, feel free to enter a room first and observe who’s in there. Analyze which group of people may suit you best and how everyone is behaving. Allow your mind to accumulate to the environment.

If there’s loud music being played, allow your mind to sync with the vibe. If there’s an event occurring, observe how everyone is behaving towards it so you can mimic it. It’s like when you jump into a pool. It takes a few minutes before your body gets used to the water temperature. And like that method, it takes easing into a social area before your mind becomes comfortable in it.

And if you’re looking for someone to speak to, either speak to the hostess by dropping a, “Hello” or greet the bartender. If the hostess isn’t busy, ask them about their home or if you’re by a bartender, ask about the bar you’re in.

People usually like to spend their time at a party with people they know, and if you’re alone, your goal will be to slowly introduce yourself to people by asking them basic questions anyone could answer. Examples would be, what brought them to that place, what they like to do on their off-time, or who they’re interested in at the party.

3. Know What You Can do

There’s an old term known as, “Fake it til you make it.” You’ve probably heard of it, and as cliche as it sounds, it works best in situations like these. When you attend a social event, pretend to know what you’re doing, and sure enough you will start believing that you can do it.

When I was given an invitation to a fancy Nightclub in San Diego, I was extremely nervous because I was going by myself. I couldn’t imagine what I was going to do in such a place alone.

So as an introvert, I had to think of what I can do. I still wanted to go out, but was afraid on what to do if I went alone. I knew had the ability to listen, reflect on what I heard, and I could relate my own personal experience to it. So when I attended the club, although I was extremely nervous at first, I pretended to be the guy everyone wanted to be. Which was confident, charming, and easy-going.

I approached a guy who seemed nervous and played the part, telling him I would be his wing-man for the night. And the longer I played the “Pick-up artist,” to help guys who were there alone, the easier it was to override my own scared emotions and approach any person in the club.

So as you enter a social environment, act “as if” you’re a confident person who knows what they want. Imagine what the confident person you want to be would do. Smile at strangers and look at people with positive curiosity.

You’ll have to remind yourself to remain calm when you socialize with other people because you’ll occasionally question yourself. But it gets easier the more you stick with it. Remember, you have a lot of interesting things to say.

All you need to focus on is making eye contact and listen to what people say. And when you get bored of one group, feel free to shift to another group and interact with them.

4. Wear Something That’s Abnormal

A pickup artist actually taught me this trick. It’s normally used to approach girls with, but it can be applied upon anyone you meet. Starting a conversation can be pretty difficult after you get past the “Hello, how are you,” stage.

There’s nowhere to go after that. Which what makes wearing something that stands out quite important. When I normally go somewhere, I always make sure to wear my shark tooth necklace that has an eagle carved on it. And 90% of the people I interact with always mention it because it’s something you don’t see the average person wearing.

From there, I tell them that I received it in Panama from an elderly lady, which then brings up my experiences as a world traveler. Before I know it, we’re discussing about other countries we always wanted to visit.

But for you, you might have a strange hat that has a funny story behind it. Or perhaps you have a tattoo that’s different. People are drawn to anything that’s different because it presents a possible interesting story behind it.

If you saw somewhere wearing a pink wig, wouldn’t you be more intrigue to speak with them because you’ll want to know the reason behind it. Ashley usually likes to use her dog as a great prop to get people to speak to her. When she walks her dog, people are immediately drawn to her to understand the dog.

5. Accept You Can’t Escape the Brutal Small Talk Arena

I know. You hate small talk probably as much as me. There’s no logic behind it other than wasted air and time. But upon a social environment, it’s almost necessary before you speak to someone new.

Which is why as introverts, an easy way to get past the boring small talk is to discuss anything you recently learned about. It can be anything political that’s happening, a News story, or any popular movies that released.

Brush up on any topics that other people may find interesting and tell them your thoughts. Once you engage in a conversation with someone, dig into the other person’s mind so they could lead the conversation.

For example, my favorite openers are usually associating an event with a historical event. If I’m at a party and I see a woman I like, I compare the party to something that happened in history. I tell them about Cleopatra or how the Greeks partied in their era.

From there, I discover what type of history she enjoys and from personal experience, it’s normally in the Greek or Roman era. But for you, your opener might be about the food they’re serving and your ability to cook.

Or you can discuss about how beautiful the environment is and how it reminds you of your ability to draw something similar to it. My friend favorite line is about the latest movies that was released because most people could relate to that.

In final thoughts…

Don’t worry about what other people think about you in a social environment. As introverts, we can occasionally be self-absorbed in our own world and find it difficult to tell what others think about us. But know that other people do like you and enjoy your present so long as you’re kind, honest, and yourself.

So the next time you leave an event, remember that other people did enjoy your company if you were willing to listen to what they had to say. In fact, introverts are often one of the most enjoyable people to meet at a social gathering because of their willing to listen to them.

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