Of course, they will all tell you that they love cool London – and they gain energy from the urban buzz. But they really are just saying that. From the Wapping Project to the Ministry of Sound there’s a long list of long-established venues that have been shut or threatened with closure by wealthy incomers who didn’t like the noise. Or the rubbish. Or the riff-raff. These people love the idea of living somewhere happening, but they can’t bear the reality. What they really want is a kind of Singapore with Victorian houses where everything works and everyone works and, besides, if you can get that club closed, your property will go up by another 15%.