[Getting back into making progress on Maker’s Ark, after an unplanned vacation. Next chapter within a week, hopefully, but here is a little something in the meantime. It takes place between chapters 22 and 23 of Maker’s Ark.]

“I think I got accepted because there just aren’t that many people in my specialty who had the right kind of experience with field-work,” said Ethan to the post-doc next to him, while they waited for the briefing to start. "Economic anthropology isn’t terribly glamorous, and most of the active research is now done in places that are already reasonably civilized. How about you?“

"Oral history and linguistics,” she replied. "What I’d really like is to have Eirik Silvertongue to myself for a while.“ She laughed.

"You might have a little competition there.”

“I know.” She laughed again. "But I bet I could get him to tell me stories all night.“

Ethan chuckled as the door opened and the other side conversations died away. Two newcomers walked to the front of the room. They were an interesting pair.

The woman was extremely tall–over six and a half feet–and strongly built. She wore a chainmail tunic and carried a spear, and had short, dark auburn hair and a gently curious expression somewhat at odds with the rest of her appearance. The man was much shorter, and had glasses, freckles and curly orange-red hair mostly covered by a baseball cap. He wore a trenchcoat and looked annoyed.

"All right,” said the man. "Let’s get started. I’m Journeyman. Welcome to ‘Not Dying 101’. This is the short course, and it’s pass/fail. Make it back alive from your first trip to the Nine Worlds and you pass. It is to be hoped that some of you will live to help teach the long one.“

There was nervous laughter from the audience.

Journeyman glowered at them. "That disclaimer you all signed along with the NDA wasn’t a joke. The Nine Worlds is an incredibly dangerous place for a normal human. I don’t think that’s been emphasized nearly enough.

"Let’s just look at some of the people who have gone there and come back to Earth alive, shall we? Flicker, a couple of other superheroes, Choosers like Lif here,” he gestured at the tall woman, “who’ve lived there for centuries and can fly and dimension travel, and the einherjar–who are legendarily tough and made careers out of getting killed and brought back to life. In the Hall, which is gone now, because Flicker destroyed it.

"And me. I’m a magician with the reflexes of a paranoid coward, I have warning and protection spells, and I can teleport faster than you can snap your fingers. And I still almost got killed there. Twice.”

“It’s really that bad?” asked the linguist. "Flicker said it was a beautiful place, and that we’d have guards.“

"You will, and it is. But Flicker isn’t very good at knowing what normal people find dangerous–that’s why I’m doing this briefing instead of her. And the einherjar are superb fighters, but there will only be one or two per group, you’re going to be wandering all over the place, and they don’t know what kind of stupid mistakes Earth humans will find to make in a place that looks just like home, only prettier.”

A botanist raised his hand. "Are you sure I should be here, then? I mean, I’m ready and willing, but I nearly died after getting bit by a snake in Australia. Because I stepped on it.“

"Yes!” said Journeyman. "You learned from that, didn’t you?“

"Well, yeah. I’m more cautious, and careful where I put my feet.”

“You had a vivid lesson, and now have the right attitude. That snake was your friend. Remembering him will help you live. Because everything can be dangerous–not just the things that look like it. The squirrels can kill you–incidentally, don’t try to climb the Tree–and even the grass can be deadly.”

“Bloodgrass is rare,” said Lif. "Only a few places are suitable, and the bones give it away. Unless there is a troll nearby to eat them. They are immune, and like the bones.“

Journeyman looked up at her with a sardonic smile. "Thank you, Lif, for perfectly illustrating my point. I knew about the bones, but not the trolls. That’s going in the Database.

"Which brings me to another important point. Take notes on everything, not just your specialty. Verbal recordings, notebook scrawls, handcomp write-ups, whatever works for you. Lif is here because she’s a forensics specialist, and it’s a lot easier for her to determine the context of someone’s death if she’s met them, but we’d all prefer if that doesn’t become necessary.

"Now. I should tell you a few things about the people many of you are going to be trying to talk to. Not everything that can talk looks humanoid–the two groups don’t fully overlap. Basic information on the Choosers and einherjar was in the prep material you all should have read already. But there are many other kinds of beings around, too.

"Many of the creatures in the Nine Worlds are, or were, shapeshifters. A lot of them weren’t born, have no parents, and were never children–so don’t make assumptions about any of that. They came out of the Void, shaped an initial body, and survived a vicious struggle long enough to settle on a final preferred form. The bigger, more powerful ones usually went for humanoid, because bipedalism, hands, intelligence, and language are a killer ability package. And a shapeshifter with enough magical power can mimic a human, which is far easier than trying to start from scratch.

"The einherjar and Choosers are single-form shapeshifters–they only use it to shift from wounded to unwounded, which is why they are so good at healing from injuries that would be lethal to a human. Others are probably like that too, but I’m sketchy on the details–filling them in is what a few of you are going to be trying to do.

"With the advantages the humanoids have, the non-humanoids have to be scary, tough, fast, numerous, or good at hiding to survive for long. Or good at living where humanoids can’t, though the frost and fire giants and the trolls are already filling in the extremes pretty well. The Wolf and dragons are examples of the 'being scary’ method, but they are probably the least dangerous to you, because they have clear territories, and you can just stay away.”

“There are really dragons?” asked an ethologist.

“Yes, though only two known ones at the moment. Their lairs are marked on your maps.”

“Do they actually collect gold or other treasure? And if so, why? I’d ask one, but…”

“Heh. Yes, they do. As bait. To attract food. Flying around takes a lot of energy when you’re that big, so they spend quite a bit of time napping and waiting for self-delivering pizzas.”

“Oh.”

Journeyman smiled. "I happen to have heard about that, because it makes such a good story. A mix of the practicalities of survival with something magically easy because it mimics mythology. I’ll bet you’ll find a lot of smaller, less personally lethal examples which are just as interesting.

“And all of you, I’m not trying to scare you away. I want you to live, to gather the data Flicker wants, the information she needs to decide what to do in the Nine Worlds. So be careful, step lightly, and do your work well. It won’t be boring, that I can guarantee.”

He looked down, then back up with a sober expression.

“Just remember to be polite. Because when you’re there, the people you talk to aren’t the invaders from another dimension. You are.”

