1.) Having diseased trees in the yard of a home she only reccently moved into.

2.) Interacting socially with people of another race.

And here are some of the acts Roberta Madison has allegedly committed in response to those offenses:

1.) Cussing out her neighbor and her friends.

2.) Throwing things into her yard, including pine cones, a bucket, and glass.

3.) Making fake calls to the fire department on the neighbor's behalf.

4.) Pretending to be the homeowner, calling a service to remove the trees in their yard, and sticking them with the bill.

5.) Deliberately setting off her car alarm to disrupt their social gatherings.

6.) Reporting her to the cops for "suspicious" guests, and accusing her of running a brothel.

7.) Yelling racial slurs at said guests.

8.) Putting a dildo on the fence that separates their yards.

9.) Mooning her house. Three times.

This ongoing neighborly dispute on Howell Street has resulted in criminal charges for one of these owners. You'll be relieved to learn it's the second one.

The Star Tribune reports Madison, 63, is facing seven criminal counts for her alleged harassment of her neighbors, including disorderly conduct, violating a restraining order, and stalking. The neighbor moved into her home in fall 2016, and says her issues with Madison began soon after.

Purportedly diseased trees on the neighbor's property were a bother to Madison, according to the criminal complaint, and she unilaterally tried solving the problem by contacting a tree removal service. The neighbor learned of this when workers showed up and started taking down the trees, to her surprise; she stopped them mid-cut, and later received a bill for their services.

In January 2017, the neighbor took out a restraining order against Madison, who is accused of repeatedly disrespecting the other woman's attempt at imposing boundaries. Madison "yelled obscenities at the neighbor when the neighbor took her dog outside," the Star Tribune reports, and in late 2017 "began setting off her car alarm and yelling at her neighbor's friends during backyard bonfires."

Madison allegedly takes issue with some of these friends on racist grounds, shouting epithets at them and threatening to have them deported. The coming and going of people of "different races" inspired Madison to call the police, telling the operator she thinks her neighbor might be "running a sex operation or hauling out televisions."

Things came to a head (sorry) in November, when Madison is said to have placed a dildo atop the neighbor's fence. Since being served with the restraining order, Madison also mooned her neighbor three times, each of which was evidently recorded by the neighbor's surveillance camera.

Aside from driving offenses, Madison's criminal record consists of just one offense, though it's one that might sound familiar to her current neighbor. In 2010, Madison pleaded guilty to disorderly conduct for harassing and stalking a neighbor, who said Madison was "erratic and terrifying," had "charged at [her] with a rake" and "thrown feces at [her] house."

The story does not specify what kind of feces, or how Madison might have obtained it.