Parody Photos of the SF Rental Market are Darkly Funny

There’s a 33-sq.-ft. ‘waterfront condo’ calling your name

SF’s nutso housing situation has evolved to the point of parody. So if you’re sick of reading about it, take a break to laugh (or cry) at these photos by SF photographer Scott Hampton. Scott describes the project as “a mordant exploration of SF’s current housing crisis, emphasizing how ludicrous the rental market has become.”

Indeed, although even without the lens of commentary, turns out I just really enjoy reading real-estate-esque descriptions of mailboxes and garbage cans.

Waterfront Condo — $5000

Waterfront condo in the highly desirable, up-and-coming Mid-Market area. Luxurious living at its finest! Enjoy the sounds and smells of the UN Plaza fountain as you relax in your condo after a hard day of complaining about the homeless. Close to public transportation, Civic Center Farmers Market, @Twitter, the @Tenderloin and several aggressive seagulls. 33 SQ. FT. Utilities not included, nor available.

Cozy “Studio” — $4100

Cozy “studio” with skylights right in the heart of the rapidly redeveloping Mid-Market area. Daily housekeeping included! Right on several major Muni lines, and close to BART. Perfect for the daily commuter. Utilities not included. .83 SQ. FT.

Studio Loft — $3000

Government housing. Section 8 OK! Studio loft with vaulted ceiling! Located in Financial District, near Market street. Close to shops, food and public transportation. 2.17 SQ. FT. Utilities not included.

Quaint In-law Unit — $2100

Quaint Inlaw unit with open floor plan. Right on several major Muni lines. Close to UN Plaza, in highly desirable Mid-Market area. 1.35 SQ. FT. Daily housekeeping included!

Garden Penthouse Studio — $7350

Garden penthouse studio in Mid-Market area. Light and Airy! You’ll enjoy the fresh breezes of Market Street as they blow through your perfectly manicured and landscaped garden. Coveted Mid-Market area, close to shops and right on the major Muni and BART lines. Landscaping included. Utilities not included.

Basement 1 BR — $3500

Spacious basement apartment. Classic architecture; very Romanesque and gothic! Arched interiors! Close to public transportation. PG&E not included. Not ADA-compliant; requires the use of a ladder for entry.

Studio Container — $2000

Container living in SOMA! All the rage, modern container living right in SOMA! Studio container with open floor plan, built-in bench and rooftop garden. Close to SFMOMA, Yerba Buena Gardens, shops and public transportation. Utilities not included. Please DO NOT DISTURB current tenant!

Perhaps the funniest evidence that a $5k/month dumpster is a little too close to reality, Scott’s Craigslist post still hasn’t been taken down.