Finding Happiness, One Setback at a Time.

And discovering what it takes to be happy

Photo by Delaney Dawson on Unsplash

I don’t want to just sit here and blow my own trumpet, but for the past few weeks, I have been incredibly happy. Maybe a better word would be ‘content.’ To an outsider looking in you probably wouldn’t understand why because as I sit here and write this it’s been about a week and a half since my partner was rushed to hospital for emergency surgery.

It was probably the most terrifying 48 hours of our relationship (we’ve been together for 6 years) but the doctors worked their magic, and she’s on the mend now.

I’m really fortunate to work from home which means I’m around to make endless cups of tea and provide general care. This means that we have been able to spend a lot of time together, something that is an absolute treat!

When I was younger I used to think that happiness was having a lot of money, a house, a job. I guess I used to believe that joy was somehow tied to status. It’s what my generation was taught throughout their childhood. Happiness was always somehow linked to career, money and family (usually but not always in that exact order.)

And so I set off like a good little millennial, working all of the hours that were sent my way, nose to the grindstone, eyes blind to any form of genuine happiness.

Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash

It wasn’t until about 3 years ago that I started to demolish that idea within myself and it wasn’t until about a year ago that I truly realised that there’s no single prescription for happiness. I realised that money and status would not make me happy. I chose to focus on building a creative life and my personal life.

In my mind now there are two stages to life.

1 — Finding the thing that makes you happy. 2 — Do that thing!

Just to be clear, I am not trying to say that my idea of happiness is the true path to glory! For many people, money is the measurement of achievement, and though it seems a little trendy at the moment to disparage that goal, it’s a legitimate goal. If having the security and freedom that money affords will make you happy then go for it! Some people will gain a lot from the respect of their peers and are best to be focusing on their career and the status that that may afford. Pride is a great motivator!

But on the other hand, if these things do not make you happy then drop them. Take a step back and ask what makes you truly happy.

And don’t think that this is the ultimate answer to all-encompassing, everlasting happiness.

What last week taught me is that no matter how hard you work to achieve that level of contentedness, life likes to throw you the occasional curveball. The trick to overcoming these problems, whether they be a hospitalisation, loss of a loved one or career mishap is to focus on the good parts of your life.

Photo by Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Most pain is temporary. Most fear is momentary. Focusing on the good is not this all-potent cure for unhappiness or depression, but it is a tool. A tool that we have to learn to use to better our situation.

Happiness isn’t easy, but then nothing worth having ever is.