“Everything is relative” is a phrase I have heard since childhood, although most of the time it is used in the context of physics or even ethics. I always thought that the concept isn’t hard to grasp. However, as I grew and got older, I have come to the realization that this phrase has actually a much wider meaning. It doesn’t just affect some parts of life, but all of them, hence the word “everything”.

Self-criticism

Many of us are very ambitious people. We have a certain vision for our life, we create goals and we work hard to accomplish them. This is how it should be, in my opinion. As Viktor Frankl writes in his book “Man’s Search for Meaning”, our greatest need is to have a meaning, a purpose in life. If one has a meaning, they can overcome any obstacle in life. But on the other hand, if one lacks a meaning, they slowly lose interest in life.

Working hard on our goals and then succeeding is one the best feelings that we can have. We experience fulfillment and that pushes us to work even further and even harder. Essentially, happiness is what lies at the core of fulfillment.

However, what happens when we don’t succeed? What happens when we make mistakes, face adversity and what ultimately seems like failure that cannot be overcome? Well, you can probably agree that the majority of us feel quite low. Some lose hope in what they do and quit, while others can even fall into depression. Of course, a lot of this depends on how significant the failure was.

Self-criticism is that one other action that people indulge in when things aren’t going well. Heck, people indulge in self-criticism even when things are going very good. Why? Because we fear that we may lose what we already have. Because we feel that the momentum may end at any moment and we may never be able to get it back. Despite self-criticism usually being a harmful behavior to have towards yourself, people, even some of the most successful ones, unfortunately, do it all of the time.

So, where am I going with all of this? In one of my last posts, I wrote about how a lot of our low self-esteem is there due to us constantly criticising ourselves. We focus on our weaker sides rather than the stronger sides, and we constantly punish ourselves for the good and bad things that we do.

As a result, I add that we must focus on our strengths instead and stop with the self-criticism, but that’s easier said than done, isn’t it?

Everything is relative – Rome wasn’t built in a day

Self-criticism isn’t going to go away anywhere if you don’t work hard to change how you see the world and yourself in it. I say this because it, too, was and to a certain extent is my problem still today.

I wasn’t able to improve my mood much regarding how I was handling my life until I realized that everything is relative in this world, including the progress I make.

It’s important to understand that Rome wasn’t built in a day. You would be quite silly to think that it was. In fact, that sentence has become a saying to emphasize the idea that hard work and patience are key. Yet, what we do is we constantly judge ourselves and feel miserable for something that isn’t working out, that we are making mistakes, that someone is better at it than we are.

Only once I realized that everything is relative, I finally was able to breathe at ease. I looked back at my past, at how horrible my lifestyle used to be. I remember lying and thinking that if I don’t change something about my life right there and right then, I am not going to be able to get anywhere. I was lacking that meaning, that purpose in life, and it was killing me, literally as well.

Now I look at how much I have progressed over the years, how much new I have learned and was able to overcome. Whenever I do this, I begin to feel amazing again, regardless of how difficult the present moment is.

Today I try to be as objective as possible, and I understand that if I can continue working just as hard as I have in the past couple of years, so much more will be achieved.

I used to look at my current mistakes, and as a result, began to criticize myself for not being good enough. I looked at the people that are better than me and that are much more ahead of me, and I would feel like I a total loser. But then all of it changed by simply comparing myself to the old me.

I look two years back and I feel that I have moved forward in life in so many different ways. I look at yesterday, and I see that today I know something that I didn’t know yesterday, and that makes me feel good. I also know that tomorrow I will know more than I know today.

Moreover, I look at the people that are ahead of me, and instead of feeling envy towards them for what they have, I admire them, I look at what they did to get there, and I learn from them in order to get there faster. All I did was I made the phrase “everything is relative”, my mantra. I remind myself of it all the time, and that helps me to stay positive and be more proactive in life.

I am less scared today to make mistakes, including in business, because I know that making mistakes is essential and inevitable. If you don’t make mistakes, you aren’t doing anything new. If you read the biographies of some of the most successful people in the world, you will be amazed by how tough were some of the mistakes they made and the failures they had to overcome.

To end this post, I would like you to ask yourself, what is better, being still and making no mistakes, or making mistakes but making your dreams a reality?

Remember, everything is relative, including sad and happy, failure and success, poor and rich. Don’t be too hard on yourself, but instead notice how much better you become as you grow, how much progress you make. Notice the smallest achievements, and life will be so much brighter.

Thank you for stopping by and good luck!

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