[%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%] [ Stonehenge BBS: Presents ] [ The Real Sysop and Unreal Board ] [ Crashers...Volume 1 ] [ -Written by:The Silver Elf- ] [%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%][%] Due to the emense popularity of RR's "A Real Pirate" (and out of sheere boredom) I have decided to start a new series of Real People... --------------------------------------- Real Sysops are at least 15 years old Real Sysops don't call other boards and Sysops to find out "The latest modz..." [Real Sysops have enough intelligence to write their own] Real Sysops dont post:"If you crash my board, tell me how you did it..." Real Sysops appreciate Nick Naimo's hard effort to create a decent BBS. Real Sysops have long since deleted the Rem Statements that say "This BBS was written by..." Real Sysops have long since deleted the download section in their board and instead, add an AE/Catsend line Real Sysops dont run boards on 2 drives They get Hard drives Real Sysops name their board after a historic place,or some other pirate related idea [ie. Stonehenge,Xanadu,The Outpost, The Adventurer's Tavern, Pirates Bay...not Tamerlain's Keep,The Ware Palace,The Bathroom etc...] Real Sysops dont run boards from their school. Real Sysops dont watch "The Whiz Kid", "He-man",or collect "Transformers" [As stated before real Sysops are over 13...] Real Sysops aren't afraid when people post how to crash a board on their system Real Sysops arent afraid to cut 13 year old users off their board. Real Sysops know the difference between a Real Pirate and 13 year old kids with modems... Real Sysops dont post messages saying "please post!" Real Sysops know that John Doe is not a real name and 000-000-0000 is not a real number. Real Sysops are not impressed by 13 year olds posting backspacing techniques,and spinning cursors Real Sysops dont care if they have a Rag-Board,or Backspacing Board... Real Sysops have at least 6 sub-boards and at least 3 different files section. Real Sysops don't get scared when someone logs-on under "The FBI","The Fed","The Board Crasher" or "Mr. Crash" Real Sysops dont have backspacing, or Spinning cursor log-ons... Real Sysops dont answer feedback that says "How do you get out of this???" "Is this a BBS or AE line?" or "Why did you name your board?..." When chatting: Real Sysops dont use excuses like "My mother is calling","My phone is ringing","My disks are falling" or "I have to go to sleep" to get the 13 year old to go...A Real Sysop merely says "You are Boring...[Sysop:Off Line]" When advertising your board: Real Sysops dont post "My board has..." because Real Sysops know that 13 year olds who do post that didnt write the mods anyway. Real Sysops dont have week-end only boards [Real Sysops go 24-hours] Real Sysops aren't offended by text files that tell the public how to crash boards... Real Sysops know what 99E99 is... Real Sysops dont have long log-offs like "Call these super duper c00l rad boards!" [Real Sysops know Real Pirates Hang up way before that...] Real Sysops dont log on as 50 different people to make the board look big... Real Sysops keep moronic feedback to create Losers-Files...and post them on their board... Real Sysops dont run original ABBS,RBBS,IBBS, TBBS,NW II or GBBS's... Real Sysops dont ask users for donations for BBS parties,or Hard drive's... Real Sysops make their board lower-case...only 13 year olds use upper case... Real Sysops dont care if they have spelled something wrong on their board, their allowed too... Real Sysops enjoy watching Unreal Board Crashers trying to crash their board... The Unreal Board Crasher is easy to identify. This is how... Unreal Board Crashers: ---------------------- Have names like: Mr. Crash Man,Mr. Init,The FBI Crasher, Disk Say Bye Bye...Mr. HAHAHA,Ima Gonna Crash Your Board,Mr. 99E99,Ben Dover,Andrew Davis, Lester Cosworth Send E-mail to every user asking "How do you crash this board?" Type at the main menu prompt "I know your watching...Answer me!" Hit Ctrl-G's to attract attention Are Under 15 years old... Post messages like: "Latest Backspacing tips" "I have these warez" "How do you..." "Please E-mail me" "I belong to..." Think 99E99 is just the greatest thing since peanut butter... Like typing 423#!#!$!SDFDSF#($%(#$%#$%)#$%)#$%)( thinking it is the newest way to crash a board... Dont know how to type /ex or /s to get out of a message. Like watching the entire log-off Type Init Hello at log-on thinking it will do something amazing... Leave feedback saying "I didnt try to crash your board so dont worry..." "I'll call back tomorrow" "Uh-...sorry...i hit this key by mistake..." "If your are watching...hi!" "Can you raise my level?" "Can I get Sysops Access?" ====================================== How was that? Its a first...but be prepared to expect the next volume of This series...Dont read any cheap imitations! ====================================== Call-Stonehenge 10 meg:408-384-1237 The Silver Elf:Sysop...a Real One call the board to get the latest of these series! Be sure to read The Real Pirates Guide too!!! (>