Dr. Laura Schlessinger and the Teachings of Leviticus

Dr. Laura Schlessinger, the infamous conserva-Jew, gay-hating radio show host, told her audience that homosexuality is a complete abomination unto the Lord, and cannot be tolerated, all as per Leviticus 18:22. Dr. Kaufmann wrote the following open letter to Dr. Schlessinger. Whether Dr. Laura has responded is unknown.

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God‘s Law. I have

learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as

many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual

lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly

states it to be an abomination … End of debate.

I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of

God’s Laws and how to follow them.

1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female,

provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine

claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify?

Why can’t I own Canadians?

2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus

21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her

period of Menstrual uncleanliness – Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I

tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a

pleasing odor for the Lord – Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They

claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2

clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill

him myself, or should I ask the police to do it?

6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an

abomination, Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I

don’t agree. Can you settle this? Are there ‘degrees’ of abomination?

7. Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a

defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my

vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle-room here?

8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around

their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How

should they die?

9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me

unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different

crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two

different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse

and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble

of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn’t we

just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people

who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable

expertise in such matters, so I’m confident you can help.

Thank you again for reminding us that God’s word is eternal and unchanging.

Your adoring fan,

James M. Kauffman, Ed.D. Professor Emeritus, Dept. Of Curriculum,

Instruction, and Special Education University of Virginia

(It would be a damn shame if we couldn’t own a Canadian 🙂



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