An 11th hour brainwave from a Fine Gael brains trust has seen Minister for Justice Charlie Flanagan cancel today’s Black and Tan memorial. This newly constituted think tank is recommending that the memorial for the Royal Irish Constabulary should now take place on Easter Monday. And every Easter Monday thereafter.

In a joint statement from Kilmainham Jail this morning, Leo Varadkar and Simon Harris announced the new date. Guinness and Smithwicks have agreed to sponsor the event for the first 100 years. The Fine Gael Leader also addressed public concerns about moving the annual 1916 rising celebrations from their traditional Bank holiday setting,

“ We should be mature enough as a nation to move the Easter 1916 Rising commemorations to April Fool’s day “

The appearance of Minister Harris at the announcement raised eyebrows amongst members of the Press. The Health Dept supremo outlined that he was delighted at the opportunity to talk about anything other than Health Service.

In a detailed response to a question that nobody asked – Harris humbly admitted that yes – he will probably make a great Taoiseach one day. Until then he remains focused on completing his election promise of doubling trolley numbers by the end of 2020.

Finally both Varadkar and Harris suggested modifications to the Wolf Tones hit ‘ Come out ye Black And Tans’ and burst into a rendition as they left Kilmainham jail.

“ Come out ye Black and Tans, Come out and fight back all yer fans “

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Combat Arena – Information appearing in Combat Arena Satire section is entirely satirical and is not to be taken as in anyway factual.

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