Hi cupcake, I’m Dave.

I’ll cut to the chase:



You are a math wiz (or at least you like it), and I suck at math.



I propose a deal.



I’m going to build this:



http://www.harborfreight.com/2-ton-foldable-shop-crane-35915.html



Except that mine will have 2 rams instead of one, thus being able to lift a full ton to 90 ¾" high (as opposed to their ½ ton at that height). Why do I want to lift 2,000# to 90 ¾", you ask? Well, I don’t care if you ask, I’ll tell you anyway.



The answer is: I don’t. However, the extra ram WOULD allow me to lift 150# up to about the 17 foot mark (by having an extra long lifting arm).



The problem is, I don’t know how to do the math to figure out where to place the rams, where to extend the arms, or even how tall the final height will be.



That’s where your expertise comes in.



Obviously, I need you to help me design it.



So what’s your incentive?



I’m so glad you asked.



My personal kink is Autoerotica. No, not as in self-pleasure. I try to always use automotive and industrial tools when Topping/Dom-ing, and this is one of those tools. See, auto(motive)erotica…



If you help me design it, I will suspend you from it in any legal (and rational) location of your choice. If you desire, I will also pour hot wax on you (or even fire play, ‘cause industrial suspension stuff is sturdier than rope), and/or beat you with a piece of industrial fire hose that I have for just such occasions. I (obviously) have MANY other tools at my disposal, if these don’t suit your desires.



This offer is transferable to another if it isn’t your kink, and aftercare will be provided. This is a Top/bottom offer only, with no sex involved.



Just imagine yourself (or a loved one) being suspended 15’ feet in the air, with hot wax pouring down over the ice cold chains that envelope your body, unable to see because of the dark welding goggles, and having your ass beaten red with a fire hose.



Please let me know if I’ve piqued your curiosity.



PS: In lieu of the above scene (if it’s not your kink), I could have my wife make cookies or whatnot. You may just think that helping design the crane is cool…