Sean Spicer may be the White House press secretary, but as he continues to defend Donald Trump's conspiracy theories and falsehoods, one has to wonder if the former Republican National Committee communications director and party strategist is also a quantum physicist, so committed is he to testing the boundaries of reality. If so, he deserves a Nobel Prize for his achievements on Monday, when, shortly after F.B.I. director James Comey confirmed during a House Intelligence Committee hearing that there was indeed a federal investigation into the ties between the Trump campaign and the Russian government, Spicer made several mind-boggling proclamations intended to defend the Trump administration while simultaneously making absolutely no sense whatsoever.

Below are the four craziest moments from Monday’s descent into Spice World, an alternative fact political universe with ever-changing rules.

1. Michael Flynn, Trump’s former national security adviser, was only a “volunteer” for the campaign

During the campaign, Flynn was a top adviser and, at one point, was vetted to become Trump’s running mate. He later accepted a job as national security adviser, one of the most important roles in the West Wing, before resigning 24 days into the new administration, after it was revealed that he had not been entirely forthcoming about his conversations with Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak.

“General Flynn was a volunteer of the campaign,” Spicer said on Monday, brushing off concerns that Flynn had been a high-level Trump campaign adviser with any degree of influence while maintaining ties to Russia.

2. Former campaign manager Paul Manafort had only a “limited role”

Back in the halcyon days of 2016, Paul Manafort was considered among the most powerful advisers in Trump’s orbit, after the longtime strategist was brought onboard the campaign to plot a brokered convention strategy, replacing Corey Lewandowski as Trump’s presidential campaign adviser after he won the nomination. In the following months, he oversaw the attempt to “pivot” Trump from a blustery populist firebrand into a sober, more “presidential” general election candidate, but he was forced to resign after The New York Times reported that $12.7 million in undisclosed cash payments had been earmarked for the former lobbyist from a pro-Russian political party in Ukraine. (Manafort has repeatedly denied any wrongdoing.)

Manafort’s tenure as campaign manager—during which the R.N.C. changed its official policy on Ukraine—was naturally raised during the briefing, which overlapped a House Intelligence Committee hearing on the Trump campaign’s ties to Russia. “There has been discussion of Paul Manafort, who played a very limited role for a very limited amount of time,” Spicer said, retroactively demoting Manafort. Even Stalin was more subtle when he airbrushed Nikolai Yezhov out of existence.

Later, after he was called out on downplaying Manafort’s role, Spicer insisted that Manafort was part of the campaign for only eight weeks, between June and August, and said that it was “ridiculous” to suggest that this meant Manafort had any role in influencing Trump. (In fact, Manafort, who also lives in Trump Tower, was brought on in February and later returned to advise the transition.)

3. Hillary Clinton’s Russia ties are more suspicious than Trump’s Russia ties

Before the Comey hearing, Trump attempted to divert attention from his own campaign’s relationship with Russia by claiming on Twitter that Hillary Clinton’s campaign also had contact with the Russian government. A reporter from the right-wing site One America News leaped on the tweet during Spicer’s presser, asking him to elaborate. Said Spicer: