"Body-Connected Bike"

Patent Number: 6,805,657 B2

Date of Patent: Oct. 19, 2004

This idea takes two separate wheels and connects them with a body. The front wheel has a set of handlebars centered through the middle of the wheel, and the back has a small platform on which the rider can kneel. When mounted, the end result looks like a low-tech version of the Tron Light Cycle.

"Sealed Crustless Sandwich"

Patent Number: 6,004,596

Date of Patent: Dec. 21, 1999

As the name suggests, this patent is basically a PB&J with the crust cut off and the edges crimped to keep the filling from dripping out. Generic-sounding? You bet. In fact, according to Wikipedia, Smucker's (which owns the patent and put the product to market under the name Uncrustables), sent a cease-and-desist letter in 2001 to a small grocery store in Michigan, demanding they stop serving a similar product. Rather than give in, the store took the food giant to federal court, pointing out that a similar food had been popular in northern Michigan since the 19th century.

"Device for the Quick and Easy Use of a Small Cellular Telephone"

Patent Number: 6,796,467 B2

Date of Patent: Sept. 28, 2004

If Wolverine had his adamantium claws replaced with a cellphone, it might end up looking like this. When a call comes in, this vibration-activated quick-draw device pops a phone up from inside the user's sleeve and into their palm. When the call is finished, the cellphone slides back into its original position.

"Golf Alignment Trainer"

Patent Number: 6,390,823 B1

Date of Patent: May 21, 2002

"A device for training a golfer not to turn his head as he hits the ball, including a visor that snaps down in front of the golfer's face and interrupts his line of sight to the ball." In other words, the golfer wears blinders—like a horse.

"Desk and Removable Bullet-Resistant Desktop Shield"

Patent Number: 6,170,379

Date of Patent: Jan. 9, 2001

Worried about a workplace assassination? This bulletproof shield attaches to a desk frame, offering pencil pushers cover from crossfire.

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