White-skinned Princess Kate is shining beacon of Aryan loveliness, insists Daily Mail

Princess Kate, who is a Duchess really but we’ll let that go, wowed the crowds in Bradford yesterday in a genuine display of warmth attributed to her wholesome Prussian ancestry, it has emerged.

The pigment-free princess greeted the public, clasped their unwashed hands and went about her royal duties like some proud Anglo Saxon goddess, unfettered by melanin.

Kate, white, and hubby William, also white, showed our mixed-race transatlantic cousins how it’s done with their obvious enjoyment of the proletarian hordes, which left no-one in any doubt as to who the “true” royals are, according to Britain’s race-neutral media.

The mother-of-three defiantly white cherubs accepted masses of flowers from well-wishers and somehow carried them all with dignity in what can only be viewed as a triumph of her own will.

Kate’s thirty-minute walkabout showed her grace under pressure and was held-up as a successful PR exercise on an afternoon that will in no way have contributed to the Queen’s imminent nervous breakdown, a full system collapse prompted by the errant behaviour of certain undesirables with inferior DNA.

By contrast, troublesome relation Meghan Markle continued on her path of shame, thought in-part to be down to her exotic failure to understand the indigenous culture of curtseying and opening cut-price Lidl supermarkets.

Mail journalist, Simon Williams, said, “Kate’s whiteness really stood out on this occasion against a beautiful backdrop of the setting British sun, her natural elegance framed by the pale winter light that forged this island race.

“White, white, white, white, whitey-whitey, white white.”

He added, “Though I honestly don’t see how race comes into it.”