It feels like the LGBTI community is constantly celebrating cattiness and bitchiness.

It has become a trait we now proudly parade around. Especially with shows like RuPaul’s Drag Race providing rich encouragement – and the memes to make it all possible.

But there’s a fine line between hilarious sass – and simply cruel, hateful and bullying speech.

I am concerned this rising sense of ‘sass is cool’ is actually normalizing cyberbullying, making it popular and acceptable.

Trolled for not being a fan of anal

Since writing for Gay Star News I’ve been getting used to getting a slew of hateful comments. When I wrote about identifying as a side, someone who doesn’t like anal sex, the trolling was off the scale.

Along with my time as a YouTuber, I’ve unwillingly come to accept that trolling is something you have to deal with.

But what surprises me is they almost always come from members of our own community. And let’s be clear too, I know the comments are so much worse for trans writers!

I often see people leaving comments like, ‘I’m gay… but I don’t think being trans is okay.’ As if their LGBTI identity is a justification for their hatred?

For years we have had people on the outside of our community saying nasty stuff about us. So it surprises me that in a community where we’re still struggling to love ourselves while fighting for our rights globally, that we choose to tear each other down.

Am I an overly sensitive, upstart snowflake crybaby twink?

On more than one occasion comments on my articles say I am an ‘overly sensitive, upstart snowflake crybaby twink.’ Let’s take this as a case study.

If someone says this to me with good intentions, yet offends me in the process – should we berate them for saying it or me for being overly sensitive?

The answer is often hard to define and requires context in each situation. But here, it feels simple: I’m being bullied.

Off the internet and out on the LGBTI scene I have seen many drag queens perform a similar trolling in real life (IRL). This harsh hurtful humor often sees someone being laughed at, rather than being laughed with. It often isn’t even funny.

Compare this with the ‘shady’ humor used by drag queens that is light-hearted, fun, and harmless – which is enjoyable; then ask – why do we need the bullying comments?

As a community, I think we need to draw a finer line on when bullying is happening.

How do we do that? Start by asking yourself: Is your comment polite and constructive? No? Then maybe re-think whether your ‘honesty’ – because it is just a guise for bullying.

Everyone deserves to feel welcomed and safe within LGBTI circles, whether online or ‘in real life’ in bars or social spaces.

I’m calling out this so-called ‘honesty,’ that is actually hate, because I think the whole community deserves better.

And I don’t care whether that makes me a ‘crybaby twink’ or not – more positivity, support, and love please.

Follow Bradley Birkholz on YouTube

Read more opinion pieces from Bradley on Gay Star News:

https://www.gaystarnews.com/article/im-a-side-banish-butthole-binaries-with-me/

https://www.gaystarnews.com/article/gay-virginity/