Ex-LA Galaxy coach Ruud Gullit has revealed that the evil geniuses behind Major League Soccer are deliberately keeping a lid on soccerball to avoid damaging true American sports. Comments made to Reuters about a Major League Soccer conspiracy have had some onlookers questioning the state of the former Dutch international’s mental health.

Gullit said: “David [Beckham, not Duchovny] is more than just a football player and I think he does extremely well to give football here a lift, but I doubt if they [MLS conspirators] really want that. I think they are afraid of football because it’s so popular everywhere around the world. I think they will just control it so it doesn’t become more popular than their American sports.





“They will never allow that. Some sports already have had a bit of a dive so they don’t want American football to become less popular, or basketball or baseball.”

The truth is out there. Perhaps Gullit could team-up with ex-Chelsea team-mate and David Duchovny lookalike Dan Petrescu and get to the bottom of this once and for all!