University Of Michigan Opens $85 Million Dollar Hallway To Taco Bell

Students were shocked to find four floors devoted to seating for eating their Taco Bell orders.

Students were shocked to find four floors devoted to seating for eating their Taco Bell orders.

After months of renovation, the University of Michigan finally opened its brand-new hallway to Taco Bell on Monday, January 13th.

“The new Michigan Union will offer students access to dynamic spaces serving their diverse needs and interests,” said President Mark Schlissel, referring to the four floors of newly revamped Central Campus meeting rooms that would be left unused as students hunted for deliciously greasy fast food grub.

The $85 million-dollar renovation, though celebrated by some, led to a number of students at the university expressing concerns about excessive spending on refurbishing rooms that “just made it harder to find [their] way to the basement.”

Engineering senior Carl Welsh admitted that the renovation seemed “a bit wasteful,” considering that the University of Michigan “could’ve just scrapped the giant building thing and put up a standalone Taco Bell.”

“The only reason anyone’s going to go in there is for Taco Bell, and it’s not even open yet,” remarked LSA junior Julia Marken, appreciative but skeptical of the cost of sheltered access to the Mexican-inspired chain.

At press time, a group of students was seen marveling at the addition of a brand-new, sunlit interior courtyard, in which they could scarf down their Doritos Locos Tacos while drenched in beams of beautiful natural light.