



Header image found HERE.





To be fair, it's easy to stumble upon porn...if you're googling general words. Any seasoned traveller of the dark waters of the internet know not to that without a) having safe search on, or b) any care as to what you might find. A writer for Kotaku apparently made this mistake, and so overcome with disgust, went on a long-winded rant that made absolutely no sense.

In her own words, which you can read HERE, archived for convenience, writer Kate Gray begins her tirade: "Last week, I stumbled upon Overwatch porn. I wasn’t looking for it—I know as much about Overwatch as I do about sports, cars, or how to talk to my parents about what I write—but it’s not hard to stumble across porn when browsing the gigantic nudity repository that is the internet."





Not hard? Here's a game you can play at home, to prove my original point. Just to see if she did indeed "stumble" upon some lewd Overwatch goodness, I googled "Overwatch". The first two pages were instructional, details about the game itself, maybe some articles genuinely discussing the game, and so forth. I went to the videos listing, and it was about the same. Then I went into the images section. Some fan art here and there, but the first few dozens listings were pretty tame. Then I googled "Overwatch Tracer". Web pages and videos were tame, but when I went to images, that's where I found some stuff. Some stuff. 95% of it is tame, the other 5% is some risque fan art. Try this at home folks, see what terms you can search that could lead to some hentai. But again, safe search would filter any reported hentai, if that's what you want to avoid. It's completely possible she "stumbled upon Overwatch porn", but I have to wonder where she was on the internet. As said, searching general terms without safe search could lead to some hentai, or fan sites and art sites could have some, but those are always labled or have thumbnails that show the content. I take her "stumbling" with a grain of salt. But I digress, let's move on to what else she said.





"The first time I saw Overwatch, I assumed it was a Pixar trailer."

This isn't one of the points she makes that doesn't actually have a point. I agree with her here. No lie, I thought it was Pixar. It looked amazing. Then I saw it was a game, and hoped for a solid RPG. It was not, and I'm terrible at MOBAs.





"There were a few things that stood out to me while I browsed through the surprisingly broad selection of Overwatch porn."

You mean when you "stumbled" upon it?





"Firstly, to absolutely no one’s surprise, the people doing the penetration in almost every video are headless, which is to say that they have the implication of a head, but they’re all cropped off. Evidently, no one’s interested in the person who managed to get into Mercy’s panties, as long as they’re packing something big enough to put a permanent look of lusty worry on her face—you know, the one that says “oh dear, I think I can feel you brushing up against my lungs.”"

Yeah, so? There's some reasons for that. First, maybe people don't care who is giving it to Mercy. Second, maybe the implication is that its a fan like them. There's other reasons, but this doesn't seem bad. Though maybe the second point she makes on proportions is wrong to her? It's fantasy, things will not be based in reality. Immortal medical witches are fine, guys with giant wangs is where she draws the line? Or maybe this is another body image thing, like those rubes who brushed Elsa from Frozen so she looks more "realistic".





"Secondly, everyone in Overwatch is incredibly flexible. Legs over heads, backs arched like someone in dire need of a chiropractor, and the ever-popular tits-and-ass angle that movie posters love so much. It’s hardly surprising that fictional CGI characters in porn are able to bend their bodies like sweaty fuckpretzels, but it makes me feel 90 years old. One particular clip featured Pharah being double penetrated, and I just couldn’t stop worrying about perineal tearing."

Actually I agree here. I got a commission to write a BDSM story. A few of the plot points that were requested seemed...not so okay. I spoke to a friend who knows about BDSM and the human anatomy and got their opinions, which I took to the commissioner and made some changes. As much as I think some proportions should be realistic, I would not go on a campaign to force people to adhere to my preferences. I keep those opinions to myself, and more often than not, just fap.

Inhumanly big wangs aside, some people are incredibly flexible. That's based in reality. Also "fuckpretzels". Can that be a thing now?





"But thirdly—and most importantly—the quality is so very, very high. My knowledge of video game-related porn extends about as far as that live-action Pokémon porn with the haunted Pikachu-Pennywise creature that doesn’t so much scream “sexy” as it does just regular screaming. But Overwatch porn is a genre all of its own: created by a small number of Patreon-funded animators who are able to recreate, in loving detail, what Mercy might look like if she was getting a sudsy dicking in the shower."

Yeah, the quality is high. People like metssfm and blackjrxiii are really good at what they do. What's the problem here? Does she feel that people with such talents shouldn't be working on porn? It's what they want to do, so let them do it. It's their right. Also, that Pokemon porn. Why would she bring that up? I agree with her on that one, it's horrifying, and best left forgotten.





Skipping some paragraphs here since they're reiterating quality, or just describing some of the porn she most definitely "stumbled upon".





"I realize that many of you have probably heard of, or seen, Overwatch porn, and therefore to you this post might read like a toddler patiently explaining the nuances of using the Big Boy toilet to his parents. But, as someone who wasn’t really aware that 3D animated porn existed in such quality, quantity and specificity, I’m impressed—even if you, dear reader, are over it."

Well she's self-aware here.





"Of course, it’s not all sunshine and daisies in Overwatch porn-land. It has a lot of the same issues as the porn industry as a whole. Pharah always seems to be portrayed as far whiter than she is, Brigitte is heavily slimmed down, and there’s no sign of Zarya and very few videos involving Mei. It’s clear that the people making these videos are into a very specific, predominantly white, and almost always skinny version of women."

Fuckin'....seriously? I mean, for real? Racism. God dammit Kate. Let's deal with the white elephant in the room first. The Pharah art I've seen has her skin tone in different shades. Sometimes it's lighter, or her actual skin tone, or maybe a bit darker. The changes to her and Brigitte may just be down to art style and not racism or body shaming. Also, Zarya and Mei are in a ton of stuff. You must not have seen a larger variety of stuff while you were "stumbling" down this particular rabbit hole.





"Why is that bad, if that’s what these creators and their audiences are into Well, if the porn industry—and the game industry—showcases conventionally attractive, thin white women over all other body types, races, gender presentations, and so on, that’s going to become the default for desirability. That default, in turn, affects the self-esteem of people who don’t look like that, as well as the general consensus on what’s considered “hot,” which is to say, “acceptable.”"

Stop trying to push your political agenda into freaking porn. People will draw and animate what they want. Clearly there's an audience if, by your own estimate "almost $6,000 a month on Patreon." I can't verify that amount, but I do know some people make great money on Patreon. Some, not all. So they're doing what they love, clearly there's an audience for their work, why should they worry about political climate if no one is getting offended? Clearly not everyone will love everything they put out. Case in point, you, whilst "stumbling" into this. Seriously though, stop trying to push your political agenda into freaking porn. There has got to be better places for this. This cannot be the hill you're willing to die on. Was it a slow news day over at Kotaku?





"There’s also a fair bit of really nasty homophobia and transphobia that I found amongst some of the creators of Overwatch videos. Apart from how bigoted and wrong it is to be like that in the modern day, it’s always dismaying to see porn dominated by assholes in more than one way. Straight men aren’t your only audience, you know."



Would someone please show this woman all the Overwatch futa hentai?! There's metric tons of it. blackjrxiii has some quality stuff. She really did not "stumble" into some of the great Overwatch hentai. Futa may not be inherently gay, there's an argument to be made for both day and straight, but there's lots of yaoi and yuri Overwatch hentai. That she didn't see any of that must mean the rabbit hole she "stumbled" down was really shallow. Like her opinions here.





"There is, of course, a conversation to be had about the sinister nature of photorealistic CGI porn. In an age where we can recreate Grand Moff Tarkin and get rid of Henry Cavill’s moustache, it doesn’t take a genius to know the road we’re heading down—and we may already be there with the rise of deepfakes. Let’s just hope people stick to fantasy characters for as long as possible."

Yes, advancements in CGI pose as great a threat to humanity as CRISPR, the thing people can use for genetic manipulation, if it falls into the wrong hands. That was sarcasm. Only a rube would be fooled by CGI, mistaking that for real people.



