It’s time to shift your focus from a big picture goal, to small actions of self care every day.

The new year is an exciting time for many people. Watching the countdown on television, feeling the openness of a new year always brings a sense of renewed vigor and a surge of motivation. It seems like an empty canvas. A new picture waiting to be painted.

New Years Resolutions are notorious. We all know the story of how many of us end up performing on our resolutions. Personally, I gave up on attempting to keep resolutions long ago, but not for the most obvious reason.

Yes, I almost always fail to keep my resolution going for an entire year. Almost all of us do. But that wasn’t why I stopped. It was the effect of that failure on my own mental health that led me to the decision to toss resolutions to the wayside.

An All Too Common Problem

To start a new year with so much motivation and think to yourself, “this year is finally going to be the year,” builds so much anticipation for yourself. Keeping something up for an entire year is an enormous task, and if you are able to do it it’s an amazing accomplishment. But the reality is that most of us fail, and this has had an immense impact on our self-image and self-worth.

When you’re three or four months into a new year and you realize suddenly that you have completely dropped the ball on your resolution; something you were so motivated to do and so keen on holding, it makes you feel like a colossal failure. You feel worthless. You feel like less of a person. Like someone who isn’t capable of commitment or achieving goals.

But this is not the case at all. What is really happening is you are placing an enormous goal in front of yourself, with a vision that stretches so far into the future, that it seems impossible to achieve. You are not less for failing at your resolutions. You cannot predict what will change throughout the course of the year and how things will affect you.

In 2020, we don’t need that energy. We can do away with new year’s resolutions now. Toss them in the trash can. No more “I will lose weight,” or “I will workout everyday.” I am going to propose something that is not a resolution, it’s not something that can be quantified and tracked and tallied.

Make 2020 the year of self care.

We go through too much stress in our day to day lives. Every sunrise presents new challenges to overcome, and every sunset presents time for us to worry and reflect. Adding onto this stress by trying to enforce far-reaching goals will do nothing but hinder you.

Instead, take time this year to make sure you’re okay. Be a little less hard on yourself. Don’t expect so much out of yourself. You’re doing what you can, and it takes time to understand that who you are and what you’re doing is enough.

Take extra caution as well. Not only is it a new year, but a new decade. An entire decade. A vast blank slate waiting to be colored by you. What will you do with it? Your mind may race with ideas and goals and visions. A decade of untold success and personal growth. It’s so tantalizing, so tempting to fall into that trap.

You Are You

You are here, and you are who you are. What you are doing is what you are doing. Slow down and allow yourself to give yourself a pat on the back. Remember to take care of yourself. Go for a walk, take a long hot shower, eat a delicious meal, sit and do nothing. Indulge in some self care.

Check out my guide on stress management to see how you can stay relaxed through anything.

Resolutions are all about big picture stuff, but make this year a year of all the small stuff. Relish all the little things you can do each day for yourself to promote your own well-being. Don’t beat yourself up over what could’ve been, or who you could’ve been, or where you could’ve been.

You are you, and you are enough.