Web comics. I'm sure I'm not alone when I say web comics are shit. There are a few out there that aren't too bad, but just because they're popular doesn't mean they're good. XKCD gives me a chuckle every couple of months or so. The drawing is absolute shit and it isn't funny even when it is overly verbose. I'm an instant gratification type of person, and if I have to read a short story comprised of 500 words or more, with pictures drawn by a kindergartner, just to get to the punchline, I'm not going to read the motherfucker. Thus bringing me to the first reason why I hate Digg. When I first started visiting Digg, roughly two years ago, it was world and technology news with a handful of videos and pictures to keep it fresh. The news are articles are fine, good writers know how to write a thesis statement in 50 words or less and by that paragraph alone, I know if I want to read the rest of the article.



Now web comics are cropping up on every other Digg page and the entire comic is longer than most major news stories. I'm not saying all web comics are long, I'm saying most web comics are shit. A note to any aspiring web comics who might be reading this, stop, just don't. If you still feel the need to continue, don't take arbitrary references from geek culture and try to mash them together like a Frankenstein of a joke.



Pro Barack Obama. I have nothing against the man that I don't already have against everybody, but is it really necessary to front page every Barack Obama story in triplicate? By now if you haven't decided who you're going to vote for, I don't want you to. Just stay home and leave voting up to the rest of us. Even if you are still on the fence, I'm more inclined to believe the cynical culture that resides on Digg would be put off by seeing so much blatant propaganda. I was a Ron Paul supporter before he hit big on Digg and simply seeing his name everywhere brought out the skeptic in me. I can only pray this Obama flood will stop after the election.



Anti John McCain. We, as an allegedly educated populace, prefer no mud slinging in our campaigns. Dirt on one candidate may sway some, but for the most part I don't think people connect with negativity on that level. If this is the case, why do we have to praise one and automatically hate the other? It's clear Obama is the Digg favored candidate. McCain and I don't share the same ideals but I respect the man. He's obviously done something right to get where he is and his time as a POW should earn him a minimum amount of respect. Never fail, on the front page of Digg, there are just as many anti McCain stories as there are pro Obama. This post might get front page action if I claim McCain killed a Vietnamese prostitute and Obama resuscitated a puppy with mouth-to-mouth, no matter whether I have viable sources or not.



The Decision engine. The previous three points lead me to this one. If it's a webcomic, it jumps on the express train to the front page? Pro Obama? Get on that train. Anti McCain? There's a seat for you up front. Anti Obama, pro McCain, whoa, whoa, whoa. Sorry but you have to wait for your ride with the rest of the retards who take the short bus to hell. If it comes from Cracked, front page. Chicago Tribune? Front page. The motherfucking Huffington Post, of all "news" agencies, its got several spots on the front page. Read every front page story for a week, and you will be able to crack the decision engine.



The ads. I completely understand why a website needs to be ad driven. How the hell else are you supposed to make a living off a free service? What I don't like are the ads that are on Digg. When I think of the average digger, according to some psychological phenomenon, I typically think of myself... but fatter and geekier... and smellier. Well now that I say it like that, I guess the ads are perfect, many are for overly expensive trendy clothing, cars, and weight loss programs, oh and Barack Obama. Whether ads are needed or not I still hate them.



The community. Reading the comments on most items gives me a general idea of the mentality of the average digger. They're "new age" self loving trolls with nothing better to do than scour the internet all day and make salty anonymous comments about other people's opinions. They're the kind of person who is so vain they will take a screen shot of a thread they posted on, host it on tinypic or flickr, and then submit it with the title "What I Love About Digg." They are the people who submit the stories I've already bitched about corrupting the decision engine.



I used to love Digg, but they're trying to hard to be more than what they became popular for. A wise man once said, "Don't try to do everything or you'll fail. Just try to do one thing better than everybody else and you'll succeed." Digg, that is my advice to you.