Share 0 SHARES

A PAIR of pricks who have just entered a local restaurant have decided to choose the only dirty table in the place, despite 34 other clean tables lying vacant in the establishment, WWN can confirm.

Barging straight into the restaurant, the couple ignored the ‘wait to be seated’ sign before making a beeline to the dirty table that was left moments ago by its previous occupiers.

“Ignorant bastards!” waiter Kevin Murphy said, explaining the situation in detail. “Are they thick or what? The seats are still warm from the other people’s arses that just left.

“Have a bit of fucking cop on!”

Posturing an air of disgust at the state of the table, one half of the pricks requested a “clean menu” from one of the other waiting staff who was already on her way to wipe down the table.

“I actually had to ask them to lift their hands and belongings off the table so I could clean it,” the waitress later recalled, now having a cigarette break to calm herself down, “they basically looked at me like I had ten heads. I was nearly going to throw the bucket of warm water over them. Then they had the cheek to just order two decaf coffees… like, what’s the fucking point?”

Unaware of their crime, the pair of pricks then proceeded to pay separately for their decaffeinated coffees using debit cards that didn’t even have a tap feature, leaving staff no other option but to bar them from the restaurant indefinitely.

“You just don’t want cunts like that coming in again,” staff concluded.