Generally speaking, I hate the St. Louis Blues. I’m a Nashville Predators fan, the Blues are division rivals — you get it. But this season I have to give those Blue Notes some love because they have inadvertently reignited my adoration for Laura Branigan’s 1982 hit “Gloria.”

It’s a pretty cute story, actually — the team declared the tune their victory song after a few Blues players heard it while watching football in a bar. And I’m not exaggerating when I say I have now listened to “Gloria” at least 100 times over the course of this year’s Stanley Cup playoffs.

I’ve read up on the song’s origins (it was originally written in Italian in 1979 by Umberto Tozzi). I have learned everything there is to learn about Branigan (did you know she toured as a backup singer for Leonard Cohen in the ’70s?). And I shed a tear while reading that Branigan’s former manager says the singer, who died in 2004, would be elated to see the song’s renewed popularity.

I am obsessed.

But while flailing around in the “Gloria” rabbit hole, I was reminded that there are actually quite a few great songs named “Gloria”! (There are some bad ones, too.) And while Branigan’s disco-kissed “Get your shit together, girl!” anthem is wonderful, it’s not even the best “Gloria” there is. So here’s a crash course of some of the best and worst songs named “Gloria.”

7. “Gloria,” The Lumineers

This is the first single of the forthcoming Lumineers album, III. The Lumineers play diet folk (Folk Zero?) for people who wear floppy hats and berate baristas for not offering oat milk. I am not that person; The Lumineers are not for me.

6. “Gloria,” U2

With the opening track of their 1981 album October, Bono and Co. tried to … well, I’m not sure what they tried to do. While each verse of “Gloria” races along at a vibrant pace, what should feel like a climactic moment starts to fall flat as soon as Bono hits those Latin lines in the chorus. Are you not confident with your Latin, Bono? Why the buzzkill? The song only begins to hit its stride in the last 30 seconds or so before slowly fading out. Because of that, U2’s “Gloria” has always sounded like a rough draft to me.

5. “Gloria,” The Cadillacs

Fun fact: This is the song Billy Joel begins to sing at the end of “The River of Dreams.” “The River of Dreams” was rightfully beat out for Record of the Year by Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You” at the 1994 Grammy Awards. Take that, Billy Joel.

4. “Gloria,” Mineral

There are several moments on Mineral’s 1997 debut The Power of Failing that suck the air out of my lungs — the guitar explosion at the 53-second mark of “If I Could” and the last 80 seconds of “Silver,” for example — but every second of “Gloria” is perfect. The ’90s emo pioneers borrowed the emotive vocals of Sunny Day Real Estate and the cathartic guitar riffs of Hum and squished them all together into a gooey ball of feelings that’ll stick in your throat until you scream and/or cry.

3. “Gloria,” Tierra Whack

OK, now we’re getting to the real good shit. Tierra Whack is a Philly-based rapper with a smooth, poetic flow — if you dig NoName, you’ll love Whack, too. “Gloria” is a track that’s both boastful and unassuming — at one point she admits to still having to work hard and being a starving artist, but a few lines later she talks about getting a new Lamborghini like it’s just another item on the day’s shopping list. The song is just one of five great singles that Whack has released this year — “CLONES” may be the first and only rap song to begin with a sneeze (gesundheit!) and “Unemployed” comes with a video that’ll probably leave you crying over a potato. Whack isn’t afraid to get weird. I love her for that.

2. “Gloria,” Laura Branigan

If Wikipedia is to be believed, Branigan once said “Gloria” is a song about “a girl that’s running too fast for her own steps.” No wonder the Blues love it, they can probably relate to the notion of things getting a little bit hectic — the team was last in the league at the beginning of January and now they’re in the Stanley Cup Finals with the Bruins! HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN? The hardest part is yet to come, though — the Blues just lost Game 3 7-2 on home ice. I think you've got to slow down, before you start to blow it, buddies.

1. “Gloria,” Patti Smith

Van Morrison’s 1974 three-chord wonder is often praised for being groundbreaking and it has been covered by dozens of other formative artists — David Bowie, Tom Petty, Iggy Pop, The Doors and Dennis Quaid (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjp-49KeBL8). But Patti Smith did it best when she wove the garage staple with her own poem “Oath,” kicking off her blues-laced punk rock conniption fit with the line, “Jesus died for somebody’s sins, but not mine.” What a fantastic opening line.

It Rhymes With Feeling is a newsletter from me, Megan Seling. You can also follow me on Twitter.

Here’s a song I love right now. Here’s a snack I love right now.

