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Just what exactly is Megan Draper? The Internet has been trading off a slew of conspiracy theories over the last two weeks as to Mrs. Don Draper's current role and future fates. Is she going to die, as forecast by her wearing a t-shirt Sharon Tate once put on? Is she already dead and just an idea Don's still stuck seeing? Maybe she's just a wife stuck in a marriage with a workaholic asshole who's cheating on her and a big heap of heartbreak is on the menu soon. Whatever lies ahead for Megan, it's safe to say, we've been mesmerized by Jessica Paré's performance this season. She's been consistently powerful from week to week, whether she's caring for a Don who's passed out because he's had too many vitamins shot in his butt or fending off unwanted advances from her female coworker. We root for her. We want her to win, because it's obvious: She's one of the few good ones.

We talked to Paré this week about where Megan Draper is heading, why she loves smoking now, her latest musical endeavors, and a whole lot more.

ESQUIRE.COM: Megan's had her hands full with Don this season. How has she not had a massive nervous breakdown at this point?

JESSICA PARÉ: That's a good question. For one thing, we have an insight into his behavior far more than she does. More than he even does. She's still pretty much clueless as to what's going on with him. She obviously understands that there's something that's not quite... There's something missing in their relationship. There was something that was there, that's gone. She's doing her best to deal with that. Beyond that, she trusts him. She loves him. She's optimistic about his behavior and their relationship together. I think a part of it — she blames herself. She did take this job, she has this whole career that is quite difficult for him to take. It was the beginning of the rift between them, which has now grown a lot. When she left SCDP in season five, it was a rejection for him. Advertising was the first thing in the world he was good at.

ESQ: Does she have any inclination that Don's cheating on her?

JP: At this point, I don't think she does. I've thought about that ... That maybe does she think it could happen? She's not, obviously, an idiot. But I don't think that's where her mind would go.

ESQ: In your own personal opinion, what's worse: finding out your husband is cheating on you with the neighbor, or your ex ... who is Betty Draper?

JP: [Laughs.] I don't know. Gosh. As a fan, I didn't feel the same when we read the script at the table read. As a fan, I really liked to see Betty and Don have that kind of resolution, if indeed it is any kind of resolution. I think for [Betty], it's something she needed to move forward. Before I started on the show, Betty was my favorite character, so I actually quite liked that scene, paradoxically.

William Helburn, Esquire December 1967

ESQ: Recently Megan sported a t-shirt that Sharon Tate wore in an Esquire photo shoot, which has sent the Internet into insane overdrive. There's a theory that Megan's going to be murdered like Sharon.

JP: Yeah, I saw that.

ESQ: Do you have any thoughts on this murder theory?

JP: Well, I know [creator] Matt [Weiner] spoke about it a few days ago. [Eds. note: We were unable to find Weiner talking about it, at least publicly.] I think that one of the greatest things about being on this show is that people love to talk about the characters. For me as an actor, it's absolutely so thrilling to hear anybody talk about the character that I play. [Laughs.] In terms of whether that's going to happen or not, I'm pretty sure that Matt spoke to it, but I just want to say, I don't know.

ESQ: In shooting that scene, is there a connection being made like, "Oh, I'm wearing Sharon Tate's shirt," or is it just a costume you put on?

JP: There was a reference photo in the costume shop that was that shot with Sharon Tate. That's right where I saw it. Women didn't really wear a lot of t-shirts at the time, so we were trying to find a t-shirt, where this woman was on her balcony, by herself, and not really expecting her husband being home so soon and she's just wearing underwear and a t-shirt — looking vulnerable and casual. Not like vulnerable in an explicitly sexual kind of way, but almost vulnerable in its dowdiness or whatever. That might not be the right word. But he'd come home and see her in this vulnerable state and she'd just say it, say exactly what she's thinking. Which by the way, people rarely do in life, but people do on TV and especially on this show. So I think that was the idea in finding that t-shirt — something that we had a reference that somebody had worn at the time. And if there was any significance beyond that, I don't know, you'd have to ask Matt.

ESQ: That is true — if I was talked to the way everybody on Mad Men talk to each other in that blunt way, I'd just find a cave and go there and live by myself.

JP: [Laughs.] I know, I totally know what you mean. Do you remember that scene a couple of weeks ago? It's hilarious. Roger Sterling fires Burt Peterson again and that whole scene is hysterical. He's like "Sometimes you don't realize how much you like something until you're not doing it," and Burt says, "I think I can work with you again," and he's like, "Work with you? I want to fire you again!" [Laughs.]

ESQ: If Mad Men world were the real world, the suicide rate would be something like 98 percent.

JP: That's a little high. I'd go in the 70s for sure.

ESQ: You're right. 98 might be a little extreme.

JP: There would have to be some of us around doing things.

ESQ: In the most recent episode, there's a great dream-of-sorts sequence where a Hippie Megan is hanging out with Don on hash. Can you tell me about shooting that scene?

JP: It was a long day. It was raining and cold for once in L.A. The daytime stuff took longer to shoot and they were shooting outside by the pool and it was raining. So, they'd stop it and the stuff we had to do in the house later... I don't really remember much of that day.

ESQ: Are drug scenes fun to shoot? Obviously you're not sitting around doing drugs, but you get to act loopy and goofy.

JP: Definitely that kind of performance where you let your self go to that kind of state, you start to feel it a little bit. Which is fun. That scene, I'm also playing a figment of his imagination, basically. I actually wasn't playing Megan; I was playing Don. Don's desire of what she would be. He wants all of her. He wants her to be entirely his. He wants a family, he wants a baby, he wants to start over, that closeness, that intimacy again. For me, it breaks my heart.

ESQ: She is a heartbreaking character. She's emotional, hardworking, sweet. She's the perfect catch in many ways. But she's with a dude who's a huge prick. What have the challenges been of playing her over the last two seasons?

JP: The one thing that was the biggest surprise of season five is not only are she and Don married, but they're happy. We haven't seen Don that way. In fact, a lot of season five is about him being happy and to quote him, it's that moment before you want more happiness. You see him at the beginning of season five and everything's great. She's tamed the beast. He's being a good husband, they have a very strong physical, romantic, intellectual connection. To see her now struggling with this man who's not being everything he's capable of being — that's what's making it harder to see. They were capable of having that and they don't. To speak directly to your comment about him being a prick: It's true. And we know that. But Megan has also seen him be not that. And that's who she thinks she's married.

ESQ: A lot of the scenes you have are some of the most tender scenes between anybody. The camera always comes up really close. Sometimes she says words like "I love you." But there's a lot conveyed through the eyeballs. Are these tender moments hard to shoot?

JP: I love Jon Hamm. I'm so lucky to get to work with him and work so closely with him. We have a lot of these scenes that are very intimate, and very tender. Those are the kind of things that an actor lives for. Real moments of connection with other actors. Not that I don't love the dinner-party scenes, there's a special charm to those, too, but when you're sitting around with 10 actors at a table, it takes all day to shoot that scene; it takes all of your energy to keep that scene alive and you keep saying your lines like it's the first time you've said it. Those are almost physical challenges, whereas the moments that an actor lives for, to have these beautifully crafted scenes where, as you say, so much is between the lines — so much happens that is not necessarily in black-and-white on the page. Although on this show, it usually is. As I said, I'm fortunate enough to be working with an actor who is soooo talented and is a generous actor. It ends up being... not fun, but fulfilling. You know what, it's fun, too.

ESQ: Megan smokes a lot. Do you enjoy the smoking?

JP: You know what's funny about that? I didn't at first — they're herbal cigarettes. They're very, very strong. It's the kind of thing... sort of like when you go to a bonfire and the smell gets stuck to your clothes and your hair and you wake up the next day and you still smell it. At first I didn't like it and I didn't like the de-alcoholized wine on the set. But now, they've actually grown on me. It's like the smell of hairspray. It's something I've come to love because I'm reminded that I have a job.

ESQ: Last year, everybody loved and freaked out about your performance of "Zou Bisou Bisou." Did you get any recording offers? Did any labels come to you and say "make a record for us"?

JP: Well, as I'm sure you're aware, the music industry is rolling in cash right now.

ESQ: I figured they offered you at least $5 million, if not $10 million for a three-song EP.

JP: Yeah. Well, they offered me their private jets — all of them. [Laughs.] You know, I had some opportunities that came up because of that. I went on tour with three dates with the Jesus and Mary Chain last year.

ESQ: That opportunity came from the show?

JP: Yeah. It's totally awesome. Jesus and Mary Chain are one of my favorite bands. That was absolutely an honor for me. I had so much fun, even though it was terrifying. Before "Zou Bisou Bisou," I hadn't done any professional singing. I had sung in the shower and in my car and sometimes at a family bonfire if there was enough alcoholized wine. I was really nervous about it. I had to get my shit together and be like, "People got a babysitter, they went out for dinner, they bought dinner, they bought tickets, this is their favorite song, don't fuck it up."

ESQ: What are you go-to songs in the shower? I bet you're an '80s girl.

JP: I'm not! I'm not an '80s fan. I'm more '70s New York pre-punk kind of thing and I guess I grew up with '90s grunge, post-punk pop music. And then the occasional Top 40 would creep into the show. But I don't know any of the songs. Just the chorus.

ESQ: That's something. I think.

JP: It's not nothing.

ESQ: It's better than humming a beat.

JP: [Laughs.] Yeah, I guess so. I feel like I'm just blurting lines in the shower lately.

ESQ: Do you have any summer plans? Any bands you're going out on tour with?

JP: Not any plans for tour dates yet. I'm going to Toronto next week for NXNE, the musical festival up there. I actually have a band. We've all agreed to work together. But they're all busy with their quote-unquote real bands right now.

ESQ: Who's their quote-unquote real band?

JP: My cousin plays keyboards and he's working with a group called the Eight and a Half right now. My friend Sara Johnston has a solo project going on right now. John Kastner, who is in the Doughboys, is going to be in my band, and so is Alex Lifeson from Rush. We're all going to put some songs together.

ESQ: Are you reading for anything right now? Are you looking for anything? You should be in a huge summer blockbuster soon.

JP: I would love to do that. I am looking right now. I'm in the extremely luxurious position of knowing that I have a job... I mean I don't know how much... well, anyways. I have something coming up. I don't want to do anything that's less good than what I'm doing right now. It's a weird luxury. I'm reading a lot of scripts. It makes my career decisions in that sense much the same way I consume media. I really like everything. I'm as excited to see Blue Is the Warmest Color as I am to see the new Star Trek movie.

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