Hacked DNC Emails Reveal Secret Sinister Efforts to Steal Hoards Of Trump Supporters.

Serenading the Rust Belt In Ten Simple Steps.

“It’s the only way.” DNC Chair, Tom Perez addressing perplexed Democrat power players as he tries to usher in a new era to them. “To beat a fascist, you’ve got to be similarly deranged if not a little more.” [Image source: cnn.com]

By now, Trump supporters have figured out that a billionaire born with a giant golden ladle in his mouth can’t really identify with their plight. It comes as a shock to many (about 63 million poor souls) who can’t for the life of them understand why a capitalistic New York vulture curtly refuses to deliver on his blue collar promises. Additionally, they’re flabbergasted that they had such a differing understanding of what it means to ‘drain the swamp’, ‘lock her up’, ‘build the wall’ and other things to lessen their pent up anger from being ruled by a black person for almost a decade.

DNC Chairman Tom Perez isn’t one to sit around on his hands and not take advantage of such a clear opening. Correspondence between him and the shadowy Communist world has shown how he plans on handling this new development. A little tweak in the party’s platform is all it takes.

Ten Revisions To The Democratic Party’s Midterm Strategy:

Coal is king. Despite the fact that this fuel is redundant and was last most famously used in the Titanic which tragically sank around 100 years ago on its maiden voyage, we’ll bring it back. We’ll achieve this by planting and igniting military grade C-4 dynamite in all known renewable energy plants preferably around 11 am on a weekday for maximum PR.