LAWRENCE, KS — At a recent convention celebrating anime fandom and culture, one attendee shocked his fellow fans by stating that anime was not the sole focus of his life. Jason Smith, 23, went on to claim that not only did he have hobbies outside the realm of anime fandom, but also listed each and every one of these activities in a single rant that left others in awe of his sheer worldliness and caused them to clap for a solid minute once he shut his mouth, took a deep breath, and then bowed as if he had just finished giving a world class symphony.

“You know, besides watching anime, I’m also a teacher, a poet, a blogger, an artist, a writer, speak three languages, and even play the violin on the side.” said Smith as the crowd gathered around him stood, slackjawed at just how much of their life they had wasted doing something they enjoy. “But really, I’m not all that special.”

Of his various hobbies, achievements, and accolades, Smith also had the following to say: “You know, when it comes down to it, I really don’t like anime all that much. There’s just so much to see and do in the world, you know? So why not get out there, stop wasting your time watching stupid cartoons, and do something meaningful, like running a blog devoted to reviewing coffee houses, or reading the great works of philosophers like Hegel or Foucault in their original languages.”

Later in the day, after partaking in various anime-related activities Smith then would then go on to admit that he belonged and/or frequented at least three different anime-themed social media services, including MyAnimeList, several anime related subreddits, and 4chan’s /a/ board, and then took just a moment out of his valuable time to ask several of his fellow fans if they had “ever seen an anime called Boko No Peko.”

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