Basically, I’m going to ignore the fact that I haven’t inflicted my unwanted opinions on the world for 44 days and go straight in. One thing that remains the constant, k, though, is my lack of a decent title. Sorry.

Alright, those 44 days summarised; Spanish orals. Oh and more importantly, the death of a friend. Ok, no one has actually died. Basically, this is my unnecessarily confusing and misleading way of saying ‘I’ve got a new phone’. The old one you may be aware, I wasn’t happy with (HTC Wildfire… enough said really). I remember in AS being in general studies sat next to someone texting (at least, I thought he was.. I was texting as well. Point is; we both were using a Wildfire to text with). He finished his text and did what I think all reluctant members of the HTC Wildfire owners club do. He put it back in his pocket, reached for the other one and pulled out an iPod touch to use internet, email, apps – everything the Wildfire claims to do.. but doesn’t. Then I did the same. Like I say, we all do.

Why then ‘the death of a friend’? It was a friend. It was that really annoying friend that lets you down. It did let me down. Daily. But I guess that also meant that it never let me down. I never expected to be able to check my voicemail. My personal greeting by the end went something like “Hi guys, just don’t bother”. I never expected to be able to send a text that someone would be able to read and understand. It never let me down by the end – I always knew what I was going to get and for that, I respected it. The motto that showed every time I turned it on was ‘HTC – Quietly brilliant’. Spot on. It was quietly brilliant. So quiet in fact, that I went 2 years without ever knowing what exactly was brilliant about it. It never let me down. A real friend. And now a dead one, sat in my drawer being silently brilliant.

Whilst looking around for a new phone, I did what most people do – look for an iPhone. Then I remembered, your iPhone (or any Apple device for that matter) hates you. Maybe that’s a bit strong. Apple devices tolerate you. They work very well when you do what they’re good at, everything is good when you’re sticking by Apple and doing its bidding, but the moment you want to do something yourself, something you want to do.. Good luck. Your iPhone hates you. Its loyalty is to Apple and not the consumer. Want proof? Try looking at flash websites.. Try plugging it into iTunes (which barely seems useable hoy en día) and copying the videos you just got on your iPod from your friend’s house into your library. Fine going the other way, as you’ve proved at your friends house but they weren’t bought from the iTunes store, so iTunes just doesn’t want to know.

This basically leaves you iStuck. You now need to buy 3rd party software to be able to transfer anything to and from your iPod. Also, have you seen how your iPhone asks you if it’s ok to send information about your behaviour (which Apps you use, music you listen to, internet sites you visit) to Apple? It’s spying on you, and delivering this info to Apple. It hates you. It should really be called the iHate so instead of it being iTunes U, it would be iHate U.

In the end, I decided on the Xperia Z (the one that in the adverts is dropped in water and chocolate) and am very glad with that decision. The Xperia cares about you. Don’t believe me? Don’t want to believe that whatever you’ve no doubt called your iHate hates you? Get an Xperia. Somehow. Use a friend’s.. steal one even. Literally anything, you won’t regret it. Load up YouTube with headphones in and turn the sound up to full blast. A message pops up saying that this is very loud and you could damage your hearing. It cares about you. I tried talking to the phone to send a text (varying levels of success admittedly) the other day, it thought I swore in the text (I didn’t…). It did this: ‘f*****g’. It doesn’t want you to use bad language and be thought badly of by the recipient. It cares about you. Finally, as mentioned earlier, it’s waterproof. Basically it’s got these clever bits of plastic to cover all the essential ports (headphone jack, charger port, micro sd.. you get the picture – all 13 megapixels of it) so that when dropped in a bath (only done that once to be fair but the phone had it coming) it lives. When you leave one of these open, it doesn’t like it. It obviously accepts that when charging, you can’t have the port covered (I guess most people don’t charge their phones in the bath) but when you unplug the charger, no excuse. A warning flashes up on the screen warning you that it’s not waterproof without its covers. It doesn’t want you to drown it and have to buy another. It cares about you. Sell your iHate, it would sell you in an iHeartBeat. Your iPhone hates you.

This whole thing is what I call a #TeccyMoment..