Magic is actually about fifteen different games. Some of them don’t even have names.

You can lose before the game starts.

Your wallet can be part of the game.

The game can be played with the cards still in the binder.

The cards don’t always do what they say.

Your intuition about how good a card is will probably be wrong.

All the rules have exceptions.

Some basic lands cost more money than most mythics.

The best deck in the format can be the worst.

The worst color in the format can be the best.

Winning at 1 life, 9 infect, or 0 cards in library is still winning.

Being at low life doesn’t mean you’re losing.

Having more permanents on the board doesn’t mean you’re winning.

Playing with lands in your deck is optional in several formats. (Technically, it’s always an option.)

Regression to the mean should not surprise you.

Don’t be results oriented.

Trust your intuition, except when its wrong.

Constructed decks are 75 cards.

Starting with 7 is a privilege, not a right.

MTGO is not equal to paper Magic. DotP is not equal to anything.

Just because something is uncounterable doesn’t mean it can’t be countered.

You can target things that can’t be targeted if they’re on the stack. Funny that.

You don’t know how the game works. Don’t worry, 99% of “pro” players don’t. Not even Zvi Mowshowitz knows the layer rules.

Your opponent doesn’t have your best interests in mind.

You will leak information. Try not to leak so much.

If you get flustered and put that land from the top of your deck right into play with a frustrated sigh, that’s a very clear sign I should go all in.

Unless you’re playing me, in which case, nicely done.

When you scoop your cards, you lose, even if you weren’t actually losing.

Creatures? Who plays with those?

EDH is a friendly casual format where Mana Drain, Sol Ring, Necropotence and Mishra’s Workshop are legal cards.

No one calls it “Commander”.

Magic players will overuse their slang because they love to durdle like misers until they get too salty from their opponent hitting the stone blade cold nuts. Then they actively want to kill themselves.

The less you respect your opponent, the harder you will tilt when he mops the floor with you.

Just because he’s 300 lbs and breathes through his mouth doesn’t mean his cards won’t kill you.

Yes Virginia, sometimes they just draw runner runner runner runner. It can happen to Chapin, it can happen to you.

Offering a handshake can be considered a hostile action.

Magic players are such outstanding citizens that the comprehensive floor rules have an explicit penalty for stealing the table markers.

Yes, some people have(had) $100,000 worth of Magic cards. Yes, there are people who love cardboard more than you do. People have been killed (literally) for their collections.

Some people pin their entire self-worth on the performance of their rogue deck. Exploit that.

If your opponent tells you played terribly, you probably did something right.

The card you think won you the game is not the card that won you the game.

Magic is the meaning to life, the universe and everything.

The aggro-midrange-control framework is a simplistic guideline that is often wrong about how matchups will play out.

Testing 10 games is not representative.

Testing 10 games can still be enough to understand a matchup.

Two different players can pilot the same deck very differently.

Different formats and matchups have different levels of variance.

Most people use the terms variance, randomness, luck, and skill loosely and incorrectly.

Don’t play a bad version of something else.