At first, I was confused, I was perplexified

I did not know why you sent this thing to my side.

But then I spent so many minutes

Thinkin' you didn't do me wrong!

And I grew strong!

From... the smoothies. But really, I was super excited to see that my (still) secret Arbitrary Santa had sent my present. I was wondering for the past two days what 7.5 pounds worth of goodies were coming my way. I gave him/her little to go on except for my comments. I figured it might be books... or something. I opened it and out came... a magic bullet. At first I was like, "Now wait; I've said in lots of my comments that I can't cook." I'll admit I have always wanted one while watching the infomercials. S/he also got me a pack of bic "quality promise, writes-on-the-first-time" red pens. This one made sense! I am studying to be an editor and I loves me some red pens.

Then it hit me! My santa must have stalked me something fierce, and found out that I got married April 1st and that I just started my first leg of a big weight loss journey. My two theories are that this is a belated wedding present slash help-with-healthy-snack-food maker.

Either way I whipped open the 10 second recipe book and found a banana strawberry smoothie... FUCKIN'-A, I HAVE THOSE THINGS!

To the kitchen I ran!

I blended like no one has ever blended before. A tornado was unleashed upon the kitchen. Nothing was left in my wake... except beautiful, smoothie goodness.

Santa, whoever you are, THANK YOU; DANKE; MERCI; GRACIAS; and other languages I missed!