How long does somebody have to suffer before God pities them? How many times does somebody have to pray before God grants mercy? When does God say ok he is helpless she is broken his addiction is consuming him I will give them relief? Even temporarily. When do we pray to God and God consider that we come to Him helpless powerless and desperate for Him to relieve us and choose not to play patience games with us? When does God feel sorry for us. When does God feel sorry for black people, for Africa? When does God say ok you really do need a break? Are we just His ragdolls? Can He only communicate by making us suffer or wait? Is He only there to punish us the second we slip up? The guilt of the slightest sin is enough to punish us for days sometimes. I don't know what to want from God. I don't know how to pray to God. Everybody thinks they understand Him. I definitely don't. Some don't care about Him at all. I feel like the one that doesn't care the very most is Him.