Posted by Nolan Dalla on Mar 8, 2020 in Blog, Essays, Politics |

Here’s Why I’m Donating to the Trump Campaign (and You Should, Too)

I urge readers to follow my lead and gum up the Trump campaign machine with a real contribution that will help make America great again.

Today, I’m writing a check to the Trump re-election campaign.

I’m making this check out to “Donald J. Trump for President” and signing my real name.

Then, I’ll stick an envelope in the mail and send it to Trump’s re-election headquarters in New York.

No, I haven’t lost my mind.

No, I haven’t flipped over to the dark side.

No, I’m not supporting Trump.

But I do want to make a contribution, in my own way. I intend to make sure the Trump campaign and countless affiliated Republican political organizations will latch on to my “generosity,” waste vast sums of money mailing me free stuff, sending me bogus political questionnaires, and sapping up their reserves to beg me to donate more.

You see, I’m sending the 2020 Trump re-election campaign a check in the amount of “$.01.” That’s right. One cent.

Let’s Do the Math

This an act of cold calculation, my friends. It’s dubiously designed to invest a tiny amount of money in order to make the evil beast bleed far more in funds.

My investment in this project amounts to 55 cents — the cost of one USPS stamp — plus 1 cent for the donation. Then, there’s the expense of a personal check and a simple envelope.

What do I expect for my 56 cents and an envelope? I know exactly what to expect because — believe it or not — I once worked in Republican Party fundraising, years ago. I know how their game is played. I know the score.

The Name of the Game is “Caging”

It’s called “caging.” What an appropriate term applied to the Trump Administration.

What happens is this — my envelope gets opened by a third-party processor which collects checks and then enters the names of all campaign donors into a computer database. What — you think there are paid staffers on the 15th Floor at Trump Tower doing data entry? Think again. Bulk mail gets trucked someplace much cheaper and then processed. That’s the way it works with large political operations. The checks and information are caged.

So, my name eventually gets recorded, which is required by federal law. Someone working for close to minimum wager for the contractor spends no more than a few seconds adding me to the vast Trump army of deplorables. Then, another office flunky down the assembly line will process my check. Oh, my check will get cashed — for sure.

Bingo! Success. Mission accomplished.

Now, I’m on the inside. I’m officially a Trump donor!

So, What Happens Next?

Sometime later, my name ends up on every Republican hit list. Elections come with postal bombardment. When Trump gets the party nomination — I’ll get mail. During the campaign — I’ll get more mail. Later, every Republican candidate who buys the “Trump donor list” will blow even more money trying to squeeze blood out of this Socialist turnip. They’ll be hounding me for more money until the end of democracy.

This is certain. I know, because I already get bombarded with Trump trash. Why not make them spend even more.

Doing the math, what this means is that in the coming years, Trump and the Republican Party will likely invest 100-times more money than I initially donated to their evil cause. My modest investment-donation will cost them far more than they will ever receive. It’s a simple, but effective means of protest.

It’s death by a thousand paper cuts. It’s playing dirty but legal. It’s how big corporations kill lawsuits by smaller businesses — paperwork them to death. Exhaust their resources. It’s not a pretty way to win, but it’s still a win. And you might not win, but you cause enough damage to the evil system (h/T Patrick Day).

Gumming Up the Trump Works

Now, imagine thousands of good Americans doing the same thing. Sending tiny donations of just a cent or two. Call it “gumming up the works.”

I urge all anti-Trumpers to do exactly the same. Donate a small amount and mail them a check. Even if 1,000 good citizens do this, that means Trump raises perhaps $10. After all, 1,000 pennies is just ten bucks. But the Trump campaign and subsequent Republican candidates who buy the sucker list will blow tens of thousands of dollars on wasted solicitations that will get tossed straight into the wastebasket. There’s another bonus: I find Republican campaign literature to be the perfect cat box liner.

I know, this isn’t the most environmentally-friendly means of protest. It’s wasteful. But the time for scorched-earth activism has arrived. Protest. Resist. By any means necessary. Do something.

Make Your Contribution, Now!

I urge readers to follow my lead and gum up the Trump campaign machine with a real contribution to making America great again. Make them blow both time and money. Sure, they’ve already raised millions in donations. A few dollars might not seem like much. But every single small act leads to an avalanche. Great causes are victorious not by giant events, but by one small act at a time.

For those rightly concerned, note that making a tiny donation will NOT be reported to federal authorities (reporting requirements apply only to donations over $200). However, all the names of those who donate are indeed recorded. Republicans consider these lists worth their weight in gold. Trump and the party will certainly comingle all donors and blow campaign funds on future solicitations. And the best way to fight them is by throwing their garbage away, or better yet, sending a blank donation envelope back in their return postage-paid envelopes (which are often supplied). That really stings. Making them pay — double, triple, and quadruple!

If you’d like to read more about what happens when you make a political donation to a national campaign, here’s a guide.

Make your donation to the Trump campaign now! And write CAMPAIGN CONTRIBUTION on the outside of the envelope. That way it gets to the right place.

Here’s the mailing address:

Donald J. Trump for President

Trump Tower

725 Fifth Avenue

15th Floor

New York, NY 10022-2519

Note that the online option at the OFFICIAL WEBSITE has a minimum contribution of $25. Why do you think they don’t want to bother with donations less than $25? Answer: Because it ends up costing them money! So, contribute the old fashioned way by check, instead.

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