"Please detach your spawn from me at once."





"Aww, Madam Gourmand, Joey don't mean no harm now. Think he just likes ya company, luv. Reckon ya remind 'im of his sweet ol' gran-gran."





"Charmed. Get it off."





~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~





Zesty Gourmand is a legendary chef, restaurateur, and food critic. She's a common sight around Canterlot, and Cinnamon Chai, local baker-tea-maker, is one of the few ponies able to brew a decent enough mug of tea for Madam Gourmand's sensitive palate. Zesty, in her cold, detached heart, maybe considers Miss Chai something like a friend....though she's not so certain about her overly-friendly doof of a husband, Donut Joe. And Zesty's especially uncertain about the pair's newest little crotchspawn, who seems to have taken a liking to her. Her perplexed shooing has no effect on him, and worse, he doesn't seem able to understand her sarcasm. What's a critic to do?





Bby Cuppa Joe does indeed like Zesty because she reminds him of his grandmother. He even starts calling her "Grammie", to Zesty's absolute horror (she's not that old!). Inviting her to color with him, tugging at her tail to play, wanting to cuddle, proudly presenting her with one of his terrifying lumpy cookies, baked "all by himself!" (read: mummy did it mostly). Zesty scoffs at his shoddy cookie, and offers to show him how to bake it better (with actual chocolate, not the cheap stuff, lad)....and that's how the cooking lessons began.





Zesty is Joey's cooking mentor from foalhood to adulthood. He actually graduates from her school of culinary arts, after which he pledges to never abide by her bland cooking rules ever again. After years of absorbing Zesty's criticisms, reinventing his techniques and recipes, and subsequently having the new techniques and recipes criticized by Zesty, Joe kinda hates the mean old crone. Yep, Zesty and Joe hate each other.....but they love each other........but they hate each other.......but they meet up for a civil coffee every so often. Only Joe is allowed to call her a joyless hag, and only Zesty is allowed to call him a porcine oaf. Mentor and student, bonded forever~









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