A SERIAL complainer is hoping to find something wrong with a second-hand item purchased from the internet.

Moaning fucker Norman Steele paid £4 for vinyl copy of Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours album, which on first inspection is disappointingly satisfactory.

He said: “I buy a lot of old stuff online, and I complain about all of it. It’s my hobby.

“Usually people offer me a full refund just to get me out of their hair, but even then I will keep fucking moaning on about the principle of the thing and try to get them banned from the relevant website.

“Even if the item is only a couple of quid I will find fault and pursue the seller in the most dogged manner, as if they have done me a grievous personal wrong.”

Steele grudgingly admitted that the record appeared to be in ‘excellent’ condition as per its description, but has paid £4,000 for a full forensic test that should reveal the tiniest flaw.

He said: “I’m sure there are some stray skin particles in the grooves that will affect playback quality in a way that is completely unacceptable.

“Failing that I can just snap it in half and say it wasn’t packed properly.”