Last time we were together, the three of us went out to see a comedian, then out to dinner. It was our first outing as a triad, and as often happens in new relationships, we hadn’t thought, much less talked about going out as a triad.

But what you don’t know can’t hurt you, right? And what you don’t talk about will never come back to bite you, right?

So we get to the show, we get great seats, down in front, and settle back into our seats. Wife sitting on my left, our girlfriend on my right, holding my hand, in an obviously intimate manner. The comedian, a very funny woman, launched into her routine, and as she progressed, the three of us laughed, and became immersed in her act.

The comedian moves into another routine, and centers her attention on my wife and I, drawing the appropriate responses from us to lead the audience. Suddenly, the comedian pauses, looks at wife and I, looks at our girlfriend (still holding hands with me), and totally loses her train of thought, looks at my wife and myself, does a double-take, and looks at our girlfriend holding my hand, and she looks at the rest of the audience, and says “I don’t know what to think about this”, and tried to restart her train of thought, then looked again, and said ” Am I in Salt Lake City“? She continues trying to resume, but comes back to the three of us three more times, before finally resuming her act.

When the show was over, it felt kind of uncomfortable, and on the way out, my wife maintained a bit of distance from our girlfriend and I, but when we got to the car, she explained that she wasn’t comfortable with being seen as the center of attention.

We went to dinner, and had a better time, but it wasn’t until we all got home, that we had a proper chance to talk through what happened, and draw a bead on what exactly was the “malfunction” of the evening.

Anyone care to guess? No?

Well, before taking our triad out in public, we should have discussed how to handle public displays of affection, and determine how out we were willing to be in public. The end result was lots of communication, and a better understanding of how all three of us feel about being openly affectionate in public. But, it took several hours, and some uncomfortable feelings all around, that could have been avoided.

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