Decemberists Frontman Colin Meloy Tweeted Erotic Fanfiction About the Militia Standoff and It's Awesome

As the standoff at the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in rural southeastern Oregon drags on, with militiamen hungry for snacks and local Native American tribal leaders calling them a bunch of showboaters, Portland's own Colin Meloy, singer for the Decemberists, decided to tweet about the standoff.

Here's his first one:

Can't wait to see all the erotic fanfic inspired by the #bundymilitia #MalheurWildlifeRefuge occupation...

— colin meloy (@colinmeloy) January 6, 2016

Meloy then took matters into his own hands, offering up erotic fanfiction of his own with gems like these:

"They huddled together for warmth. The cold of Ammon's Ruger 22 against Brian's naked thigh sent a thrill up his spine." #bundyeroticfanfic

— colin meloy (@colinmeloy) January 6, 2016

"Jason pressed Jed against a rack of "Birds of Oregon" books; his breath was sweet with jerky. Somewhere, an egret cried" #bundyeroticfanfic

— colin meloy (@colinmeloy) January 6, 2016

It didn't take long for the Twitterverse to catch on, joining Meloy:

"He was torn. On the one hand, being gay is a sin. On the other hand was Ammon's soft buttock." #bundyeroticfanfic @colinmeloy

— Nicole Moore (@nmoore6) January 6, 2016

@colinmeloy With his hand on Ryan's chest, he felt the passion beneath his pocket-sized copy of the US Constitution. #bundyeroticfanfic

— ⭐Maisbikkja (@Maisbikkja) January 6, 2016

@colinmeloy Cletus's hands guided him to the right spot. "Squeeze the trigger, don't pull it," he whispered. #bundyeroticfanfic

— goat in the water! (@KellyPLoughlin) January 6, 2016

Six hours and many hilarious tweets later, Meloy called it a night, signing off with, "Nice work tonight, guys."

The Mercury's own Ian Karmel is giving Meloy a run for his money, with "Inside a Militia Standoff (The Sexy Version)." The ending is the best.

I'm no fanfiction writer, but here are a couple offerings from me:

"Hungry and cold, Ammon soon found his limbs entwined with Trevor's. He was unsure where he ended and Trevor began. 'It's for warmth,' he told himself."

"He pulled out his Magnum and gripped the barrel, locking eyes with Ammon. Ryan held the cold steel to his brother's naked flank. Ammon gasped with pleasure and desire."

What do you have to offer, Blogtown? Let's have 'em!

READ MORE ABOUT THE OREGON STANDOFF!

"Armed Militants Aren't the Only Ones Who Want to Take Back Federal Lands"

A host of Oregon lawmakers are pushing for the same thing. by Dirk VanderHart

"Ask a Militia Patriot Occupying a Federal Bird Sanctuary!"

"I'm considering a bird-watching trip to Malheur this spring... but unless I spot some gadwall or Eurasian wigeon, it's not worth my time. How are my chances?" by Ross "Thunderbuck" Johnson, American Patriot

One Day at a Time: The Week in Review

Can someone send these patriot militiamen some Go-Gurt? by Ann Romano

"Even More Bundy Erotic FanFiction on Twitter"

What started on Tuesday with a flurry of tweets by Meloy and some of his followers has gotten (third) legs in the days since. by Shelby R. King