A few years ago, when I was 58, I had a secret that I couldn’t discuss with anyone: I was still a virgin. How I arrived at that age with my virginity intact probably isn’t that unusual from many men in the same situation. In high school I was painfully shy and, with one exception, the few girls I got the courage to ask out declined my invitations. I never happened to meet a lady that I truly wanted to pursue in college, so I again gave into my shyness and never asked anyone out. Because of this by the time I turned 21, I had never had a real girlfriend.

By that point I began to feel like an oddball having so little experience with women, especially when I would hear my male friends and co-workers talking about their various sexual conquests. The fact that I still had my V-card became my “dirty little secret” and, at times, a source of private embarrassment. When I was in my mid-twenties I knew I wasn’t going to lose my virginity in a one night stand because I didn’t enjoy going to clubs or singles bars where I could attempt a hook-up and I also realized I wanted my first time to be something I would enjoy remembering. Professionally I was doing things that most people would assume (quite accurately) would put me in a position to meet many amazing women. I spent nearly 20 years in various parts of the entertainment industry, including movies, television and many parts of the music industry and was lucky enough to meet many beautiful, intelligent and sexy women. However, with very few exceptions, I never asked any of them out. I found myself in a sort of catch 22 situation because when I met a lady whom I would have liked to have dated I was afraid to seriously pursue her because if a relationship developed I feared that due to my inexperience she would learn my “secret” and think less of me because of it which would just cause me further embarrassment.

I started re-evaluating my life and my personal situation when my father passed away. I knew that when he passed he had some things in his life that he regretted, but I also realized that he wouldn’t want me to have a life filled with regrets. I started looking at my life and tried to figure out what changes I could make and by my 58th birthday I knew I had to deal with my biggest secret and make a decision about my virginity. Once I decided to surrender my V-card I started planning how to accomplish my goal. I quickly realized that the best solution for me was to go to one of Nevada’s legal brothels and after doing some research on the internet I knew that Sheri’s Ranch was where I was going to visit.

During one of my regular visits to Las Vegas, I drove to Pahrump early one afternoon. I enjoyed the ride and didn’t start getting nervous until I was driving down Homestead Rd. I actually got so nervous that at one point I pulled over to the side of the road and momentarily thought about chickening out and just turning back to Las Vegas. Luckily I controlled my nerves and got back on the road and finally arrived at Sheri’s.

I entered the bar and was greeted by the hostess who asked if I had a reservation with any specific courtesan. When I said no she informed me that I could sit anywhere and that some of the ladies would come by and introduce themselves. Over the next 30 minutes or so, I met and had short conversations with 4 or 5 wonderful women, however I never really felt comfortable or clicked with any of them. Finally a lady came over and introduced herself and I found myself immediately comfortable talking with her and when she offered me a tour, I gladly accepted. The tour ended in her bedroom and after some negotiations we had a “party” where I had a fabulous time. Later I found myself driving back to Las Vegas, no longer a virgin, with some wonderful memories that I will always cherish.

Since that first trip I have become a regular visitor to Sheri’s (I go out there every time I’m in the area and I luckily live only a few hours away) and I have been fortunate enough to have become acquainted with quite a few of the courtesans. The more I get to know the ladies, the more I realize that if I hadn’t made a number of mistakes, as good as my first experience had been, it could have been much, much better.

Let me explain three of the mistakes I think I made, why I think they were important, and what others can do to avoid them.

Don’t Rush

First off, I rushed the entire experience. From the time I walked in the front door until I was pulling out of the driveway to return to Las Vegas, I only spent a little over 2 hours at Sheri’s. Take your time and don’t cut your experience short. If you can spend an entire afternoon or evening at Sheri’s, do it. Don’t feel that once you’ve decided which courtesan you want to party with that the party has to begin immediately. As long as the lady knows you definitely want to party with her there shouldn’t be any problem if you want to sit with her for a while longer getting better acquainted. Also, after your party, don’t mistakenly think like I did, that your business was done so you should leave. Go back to the bar, relax, have something to eat, enjoy your new memories, spend a few minutes meeting the other ladies in the bar (including the amazing bartenders.) Perhaps your new lover will return and want to spend some more time with you either talking, sharing a drink or playing some pool. For me, leaving almost immediately I had to mentally switch from thinking about my experience to concentrating on driving safely and that, on the short term, detracted from my new memories.

Do your homework

My second mistake was I didn’t do my homework prior to arriving. The brothel website has an amazing amount of information…use it. Their sex menu is informative and entertaining, the message board has advice & information for virgins and most important are the courtesan’s personal pages. Look at the pages of the ladies who are expected to be at Sheri’s in the time period you plan to visit (and there is a search tool to check on who is expected to be in attendance on specific dates in the future.) Beyond photos of these amazing ladies, each courtesan’s page will give you a short introductory paragraph from the lady, her preferences, a list of the types of parties she caters to (like partying with Virgins or possibly a fetish that intrigues you that you might also want to explore while you are there) and has a way to communicate with the lady. If you have some time before your trip, I highly suggest you find a few ladies who interest you and contact them. Introduce yourself, let them know that you will be coming to Sheri’s to lose your V-card and that you are contacting them and a few other ladies so that you will feel slightly acquainted with someone when you arrive. (However, remember a courtesan cannot discuss specific party prices anywhere except in her room so don’t ask about that.) The ladies do like to hear from potential lovers and they do respond to messages, unfortunately they sometimes can’t respond very quickly. Understand, a courtesan cannot access her messages unless she is using one of the computers at Sheri’s. Thus if she is not currently at Sheri’s, she can’t respond, if she is there realize there are limited numbers of computers available with up to 25 ladies having to share time on them (and they have to find time to get to the computer around all their other activities.)

Be honest

My final, and possibly my most egregious mistake was that I was embarrassed by and apologetic about my virginity. Here I was, a 58 year old virgin with basically no self-confidence around beautiful women in a romantic or sexual situation and honestly believing a man in my position must be so unbelievably rare that the ladies would almost find my predicament comedic. I actually failed to tell my soon to be first lover that I was a virgin until we were undressing at the beginning of the party and then the way I reveled my “secret” was, as I look back at it now, almost laughably inept. I actually apologized to the lady that the upcoming sex was probably going to be terrible for her because I was a virgin and thus incompetent. DO NOT make the same mistake. Don’t hide the fact that you’re giving up your V-card, don’t be embarrassed by what you are there for, celebrate it. If you’re talking with a lady that you had communicated with remind her and if you’re speaking with a new lady tell her. You will be very happily surprised by the reactions you receive. Not only do many courtesans thoroughly enjoy partying with virgins of all ages, I’m convinced that some of the ladies are extremely turned on by the concept. I guarantee there is not a single person working at Sheri’s who won’t celebrate with you your decision to give up your V-card.

On a final note, let me mention one thing that I happened to do correctly during that first party (and something I still attempt to do in every party I have.) If during the party the lady asks you to touch a specific part of her body in a specific way, you don’t have to completely understand why, just do it. Realize that if the courtesan is asking you to pay particular attention to a certain part of her body it is because she likes receiving the attention. Trust me, it is mind-blowing when a lady screams with pleasure and you know that her pleasure has been caused by something you did with your hands or mouth.

All in all, if you are considering or have decided to take the journey to Sheri’s to relinquish your V-card, realize there are many others of us who have done the same thing and I doubt a single person has ever found the experience disappointing.