Tl;dr. For my first Secret Santa I got some tahini, zattar, vampire repellent, and some exotic condiment packets from Israel.

Prior to the “r/FoodPorn Condiments Exchange” I was a RedditGifts virgin. This was my very first received gift, and it was everything I had ever dreamed it would be. I had asked for something my Santa loved or a local specialty they wanted to share with me and my family in Vegas. My Santa did not disappoint.

I live in a quasi-sketchy neighborhood one block from the Las Vegas strip. I arrived home to find what seemed, at first, to be a silver box with blood on it. It was,to my joy (and relief), a gift wrapped package from my Santa in Israel with a picture on the label of a bottle pouring sauce. After the fear had passed I ran inside and ripped that sucker open.

The gift contained:

A funny and helpful letter describing the contents and suggesting ways to use the gifts. A bottle of Tahini from Galilee. Somehow I’ve made it four decades without trying tahini. My first taste of tahini (second first of the day) will be from a bottle that is so authentic I can’t even decipher enough of the symbols to tell how much tahini it contains. There are 4 of something 5 of something, 100% of something, and 500 of something. :) A large bag of Zattar (more unrecognizable symbols.) This is so exciting! If it weren’t for my Santa’s note I would have no clue what this is. According to him it is hyssop, a spice that can be sprinkled on many things (including PIZZA) and used in cooking. Zattar on pizza will be my third first. A cute little “sanctity set” from Jerusalem. Santa suggested that I should not try to season anything with the oil and holy water. He said it should be safe unless I’m a vampire or werewolf. I’m rather hairy, so I’m not gonna chance it. ;) As I have no “official” use for the set I’m tying to decide between two options. One of my daughters wants to keep it by the front door to ward off vampires and werewolves. I’m thinking about passing it on to a friend who would appreciate the set as intended. Santa this one is up to you, unless you direct us otherwise daughter #1 wins and the kit will be stored by the front door for emergencies. Bonus filler stuff. Three packets of Jam. A dozen packets of Mayo, catsup, and garlic sauce of a variety I have never seen before. Two packets of Hellmann’s Mayo, a rarity on the West coast.

I can’t believe I got all this awesome stuff! I’m looking forward to trying everything. Thank you Santa! I wish you peace, and I hope the care and generosity that you have shared with me and my family is returned to you many times over.