There’s a fine line between PR work and journalism these days- and while I’m not here to make comparisons, I can assure you we get A LOT of press releases so I know a thing or two about them.



There’s a fine line between PR work and journalism these days- and while I’m not here to make comparisons, I can assure you we get A LOT of press releases so I know a thing or two about them. We read some of them, and we appreciate when someone puts a good press release together (there really is an art to it.)

But sometimes, a press release comes around and it is so good there is really little else for us to say. GWAR’s fall tour announcement press release is essentailly a work of art. And far be it from me to try and ‘pull quotes’ to give you the information provided below.

So go ahead, take a look at the inner workings of modern PR, and pray your eyes don’t explode after reading it all.

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“Madness at the Core of Time” Tour Kicks off October 2nd

After a week and over 35,000 signatures, Antarctic overlords GWAR finally have officially reacted to the petition started by Jeff Cantrell of Morehead, Kentucky on Change.org to have GWAR play the Super Bowl Halftime Show. The petition can be signed at Change.org/GWARBOWL.

“It has long been the joy of GWAR to submit the human race to any number of hideous tortures, and I can’t think of anything more horrible than you having to watch acts like The Black-Eyed Peas and Bruno Mars perform. So the temptation to ignore this is great! But then you start thinking about all of the people that who have never experienced GWAR before, and will be forced to do so if we do get the gig, well, at that point my colossal mega-ego kicks in and I am all over it.”

After a long and wet fart, Oderus continued…”I really don’t think we should be limited to playing the halftime show…I am offering GWAR as an actual team that could complete in the NFL. Think of the titanic struggle involved as the NFL submits their best players, hell, we could play against all the teams at once and still emerge victorious. For too long has the NFL ignored the obvious fact that the players should be naked, blind-folded and armed with battle axes, that land mines should litter the field and whalers should hurl harpoons randomly from the stands. GWAR is throwing our entire cosmic weight (and we are fairly hefty) behind this petition, and command all of our followers, their families, and indeed anybody who has ever existed to sign this fucking thing, and in fact for those who have already signed it to create multiple fake email addresses and sign it again!”

And now to top it all off, today GWAR is ready to bring everyone a little holiday cheer with a select number of shows this December. That’s right it’s Christmas Time with Santa Oderus. These three shows are set for December 27th in New York at Irving Plaza, December 28th in New Haven, CT at Toad’s Place and finally a show in Richmond, VA on December 29th at The National. Tickets for all three shows go on sale this Friday.

In support of Battle Maximus,GWAR will be heading out this fall on the “Madness at the Core of Time” tour. The tour, which features a completely brand-new show full of slavering creatures and deserving victims, is set to kick off October 2nd in Columbus, Ohio and runs through November 17th in Washington, DC. GWAR shall be joined by deathcore heavyweights and label-mates Whitechapel, Richmond, VA thrashers Iron Reagan (featuring Municipal Waste singer Tony Foresta) and A Band of Orcs (who are actually a band of Orcs).

GWAR’s Battle Maximus features twelve brand new tracks that not only honor their departed ally, but tells the story of GWAR’s latest struggle against what may be their greatest enemy yet…the insidious “Mr. Perfect”, who has travelled through time itself to steal the power of GWAR–the power of immortality, and use this power to mutate the human race into his twisted vision of what the “perfect” human should be. Once again GWAR finds themselves as the only thing standing between the human race and the latest super-powered shithead bent on the destruction of GWAR and the enslavement of their worshippers.

The title track from Battle Maximus is streaming:

Battle Maximus can be ordered from Metal Blade Records HERE

GWAR Live:

“Madness at the Core of Time” Tour With Whitechapel, Iron Reagan and Band of Orcs:

10/2: Columbus, OH @ Newport Music Hall

10/3: Milwaukee, WI @ The Rave

10/4: Iowa City, IA @ Blue Moose Tap House

10/5: Minneapolis, MN @ First Avenue

10/6: Winnipeg, MB @ The Garrick Centre

10/7: Saskatoon, SK @ Odeon Events Centre

10/8: Calgary, AB @ MacEwan Hall Ballroom

10/9: Edmonton, AB @ Union Hall

10/11: Seattle, WA @ Showbox SODO

10/12: Boise, ID @ Knitting Factory Concert House

10/13: Spokane, WA @ Knitting Factory Concert House

10/14: Vancouver, BC @ Commodore Ballroom

10/15: Portland, OR @ Roseland Theater

10/16: Chico, CA @ Senator Theatre

10/17: Santa Ana, CA @ The Observatory

10/18: West Hollywood, CA @ House of Blues

10/19: Sacramento, CA @ Ace of Spades

10/20: San Francisco, CA @ The Regency Ballroom

10/22: Albuquerque, NM @ Sunshine Theater

10/24: Houston, TX @ Warehouse Live

10/25: Ft. Worth, TX @ LaGrave Field

10/26: Austin, TX @ Emo’s

10/28: Pensacola, FL @ Vinyl Music Hall

10/29: New Orleans, LA @ House of Blues

10/30: Atlanta, GA @ The Masquerade

10/31: Charlotte, NC @ Tremont Music Hall

11/1: Asheville, NC @ The Orange Peel

11/2: Norfolk, VA @ The NorVa

11/4: Ft. Lauderdale, FL @ Revolution

11/5: Ybor City, FL @ The Ritz Ybor

11/7: Cincinnati, OH @ Bogart’s

11/8: Detroit, MI @ Harpo’s

11/9: Joliet, IL @ Mojoes

11/10: Grand Rapids, MI @ The Intersection

11/12: Toronto, ON @ Phoenix Concert Theatre

11/13: Cleveland, OH @ House Of Blues

11/14: Clifton Park, NY @ Upstate Concert Hall

11/15: Worcester, MA @ The Palladium

11/16: Reading, PA @ Reverb

11/17: Washington, DC @ 9:30 Club

GWAR Holiday Dates:

12/27: New York, NY @ Irving Plaza

12/28: New Haven, CT @ Toad’s Place

12/29: Richmond, VA @ The National

SOUNDWAVE FESTIVAL 2014

2/22/14: Soundwave Festival Brisbane

2/23/14: Soundwave Festival Sydney

2/28/14: Soundwave Festival Melbourne

3/1/14: Soundwave Festival Adelaide

3/3/14: Soundwave Festival Perth

CHECK OUT GWAR ON THE WEB

http://www.gwar.net



http://www.youtube.com/gwar

http://www.metalblade.tv/tv

http://www.facebook.com/gwar

http://www.gwarjapan.net

ODERUS: http://twitter.com/therealoderus

BALSAC: https://twitter.com/BalSacJoD

GWAR OFFICIAL: https://twitter.com/GWARofficial