Donald Trump rolls out the latest form of racism to combat COVID-19

In a dramatic shift in policy, the President of the United States has put on hold anti-Latino racist initiatives and instead directed officials to put all of their efforts into demonising Asians in general and the Chinese in particular until the coronavirus crisis is over.

White House spokesperson Simone Williams explained that Donald Trump had personally guided the search for the most up-to-date racial prejudice.

“The President said he would not rest until Americans are given the very best racism to fight this affliction.

“In the coming days, you will see all officials call COVID-19 ‘The Chinese Virus’, police officers turning a blind eye to the assault of Asian people, Fox News getting suddenly interested in the plight of the Uighurs and reruns of Breakfast at Tiffany’s.

“As the world struggles to find a scapegoat for the globalised world the virus harnessed so effectively, here in the USA we will be fighting back with the very latest in ethnic hatred.

“It won’t save your parents like listening to epidemiologists or a decent healthcare system would, but it will tell psychopaths with AR-15 exactly who they should be looking to target.”

Ms Williams admitted the new policy would have some impact on Donald Trump’s long-standing commitments to anti-Hispanic racism.

“We are in a war and we cannot fight on two fronts. For the moment we have to put all our energy into creating rumours about Chinese restaurants and missing cats. But when this over, we will immediately return to calling Mexicans rapists and building pointless fences.

“However, the President has decreed that anti-Muslim racism will continue unabated for the time being.”