by Alex Poletti

As the third pick was announced via the NBA Draft Lottery on Tuesday, bars around the Tri-state Area collectively moaned, knowing they missed out on Zion Williamson despite being the worst team in the NBA by a country mile.

“This is ridiculous,” Knicks superfan Jimmy Speranza says. “We were by far the worst team in the league, we deserved to get rewarded.”

The Knicks were truly the best tankers in the league this year, finishing the season with just 17 wins.

“We worked so hard to get here,” Knicks center DeAndre Jordan says. “This was our finals. Looks like we lost that, too.”

Knicks fans thought their team was a lock for the top spot in the draft, despite the lottery being specifically designed to give all losing teams a shot at the first overall pick. Tied with Cleveland and Phoenix, New York had the highest odds of landing Zion with the first pick at 14 percent.

Many analysts, including ESPN’s Stephen A. Smith, wanted the Knicks or the Lakers to get the top spot. The Lakers far outdid their 2-percent chance to land the top spot and ended up with the fifth pick. Regardless of their climbing the draft board, Smith wanted more.

“What is it with these small market teams getting top picks when they deserve it?” Smith questions. “It’s so unfair that the little guy gets a chance at drafting Zion and they actually do it. What a farce.”

The first two picks in the draft belong to the New Orleans Pelicans and the Memphis Grizzlies, which furthers the Knicks fans’ ire.

“Out of all the teams to get a pick ahead of us, it’s New Orleans and Memphis?” Knicks fan and bartender extraordinaire Joe Lewis says. “Come on, our team has sucked way longer than theirs! Where’s our prize?”

Unless they can pull off some miraculous trade, it seems all but certain that the New York Knicks will miss out on the Duke phenom. However, they’ll get a nice consolation prize at number three in Ja Morant or RJ Barrett, and a Kevin Durant signing will certainly lessen the pain.

“Yeah, it’s nice and all to know that we’ll get KD and Ja, but it was never really about getting Zion,” Speranza explains. “We just want to be recognized for what we do best: being really, really bad at basketball.