by Kim Werker

This is the first sweater I ever knit, clearly not to completion. Why not to completion? Because after I assembled the first sleeve and started on the second and then tried on the sweater, I discovered to my horror that the thing weighs as much as a knee-length coat and is hotter than Phoenix in August.

I thought it was silly to use smaller needles to knit the mock-rib edging, since ribbing pulls in, right? Um, no. This edging flares. Mock-rib FAIL.

Mock turtleneck? Thought that idea was faboo. Style FAIL.

Raglan sleeves? The completed one is way too tight in the armpit. Raglan FAIL.

Knowing I’d never wear the thing, I left it on a shelf, incomplete, for over five years. Closure FAIL.

At least this post makes me feel like I’ve kept it around this long for good reason. Next up: ripping it out.