They understand that the transition from being who they are now to becoming someone else entirely is just not a transition that appeals to them.

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By Serge Bielanko

My kids have been a real saving grace for me. Not a moment has ever gone by when I’ve regretted having these three rug rats (okay, maybe during certain toddler tantrums the thought HAS crossed my mind.) Their presence in my life, moment to moment, means more than I can describe.

They provide the very beats that thump out of my heart.

So I might not seem like the most likely candidate to come out of the cyber woodwork championing people who don’t want kids.

BUT.

I am starting to understand one glowing truth about having children and that’s this: If a fellow human being looks me in the eye and tells me that they don’t ever want kids …

I’m totally cool with that.

In fact, I really get it it. The older I get, the more I realize that the decision to have children is a massive decision. It’s a bigger decision than I ever understood. It’s not only a game-changer of the highest regard when it comes to living your life, it’s actually THE GAME CHANGER.

Everything changes. Ask any mom or dad.

Before kids, I was this person.

After kids, I was someone else.

And when I think about that, those folks who can look you in the eye and tell you that kids aren’t for them are probably some of the smartest folks alive.

Why? Because they know.

They understand that the transition from being who they are now to becoming someone else entirely is just not a transition that appeals to them.

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They’re brave enough to make a decision that they’ve thought about and examined from the inside out. And this, despite the fact that they will have to deal with a chronic plague of unwanted input and questions like: “Don’t you ever want to have kids?” or worse, a million smug looks.

If you ask me, people who decide that having kids isn’t for them deserve nothing but respect from those of us who have chosen a different path. I mean, there are a lot of ways to lead a great life. And no parent should ever try and define that for anybody else. Especially for people who are already damn sure that the road they’re traveling is the right one for them.

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This article originally appeared on Babble.com. For more like this from Babble, try:

I was miserable trying to do it all

I swear in front of my kids and I don’t give a damn



Photo credit courtesy of author Serge Bielanko.