Come on, we all know what’s really happening here. A leaker in the intelligence community, an anti-Trump partisan who almost certainly broke the law with these leaks, a swamp creature who is probably under investigation and about to face the music, is screaming whistleblower to cover his swampy ass — which is like a rapist claiming to be an OB-GYN.

And naturally, our fake news media, who relied on this swamp creature’s illegal leaks (most of which were almost certainly lies), see this stupid scandal as a way to accomplish a number of things…

Protect a partisan “anonymous source” who gives the media cover to spread lies.

Fabricate yet another WALLS ARE CLOSING IN ON DRUMPF news cycle.

Distract from the fact that The Wall-Wall is actually being built, Trump’s border enforcement moves with Mexico and other countries are working, that the “imminent recession” is looking a lot less imminent, and We really need to talk about something other than our latest smear about Brett Kavanaugh being debunked!

Distract from yet-another left-wing hero — Canadian Prime Minister Trudeau — caught in blackface.

A fer-real whistleblower busted the New York Times admitting it would ignore real reporting over the next 18 months to instead scream racism at Trump. So now that that’s not working, let’s go back to Trump colluding with a foreign country to rig an election.

Oh, and I almost forget this one…

Protect Democrat front-runner Joe Biden from a LEGITIMATE scandal.

And that’s another reason this fake scandal is so lame. The media have created a Rube Goldberg of a mess where an outlaw leaker is a whistleblower but we don’t know what he knows but we think he knows Trump wanted Ukraine to investigate the Biden family’s shady deals because suddenly it might be wrong to tie American foreign aid to a country cleaning up corruption which is something America’s been doing forever.

Did I cover everyZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….

And this is how we know the media cobbled this “scandal” together in desperation… It’s a horrible contraption.

You see, when the media take their time, they are able to come up with a much simpler and therefore more effective fake news-scandal: Karl Rove leaked a CIA operative’s name, Trump colluded with Russia to steal the election, George Bush never showed up for National Guard duty, Mitt Romney put a dog on the roof of his car. (Oh, wait, that last one is actually true.)

Everyone knows that if you want to get away with a lie, you have to keep it simple.

No, officer, I have not been drinking works a lot better than No, officer, I don’t drink and drive because that would be wrong — you know, other than a beer on a full stomach; okay, sometimes two, but never more than three… Why are you asking me to step out of the car?

Another mistake is that the political face of this fake scandal is Adam “we got the Russia goods” Schiff.

Was Joe Isuzu not available?

What’s more, are the media stepping into a trap? The Biden family’s shading dealings with Ukraine are a real problem for the Democrat frontrunner. This story stinks to high heaven. Until now, the media have diligently fought to protect Biden by ignoring the whole thing. But now… the media are talking about it.

Obviously, the media are hoping to boomerang a serious vulnerability for Biden into a vulnerability for Trump, but in doing so they are letting the cat out of the bag, which gives Trump a real opportunity to blow it up — to reveal to the world that Biden supposedly told Ukraine they would not get foreign aid unless the government ceased investigating his son, which sounds a whole lot worse than Trump saying, If you want American taxpayer money, you need to clean up this corruption.

The American people, though, have tuned the media out. The polls show it and so do the ratings. Hell, even Trump-hating Democrats have come to learn that within a few days all these “scandals” are eventually debunked.

Anyway, the whole thing is convoluted and stupid… The latest act of a corrupt and desperate media longing for the good old days when the Russian Collusion Hoax was firing on all cylinders.

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.