In Laurie Penny's column for the Independent today, she argues that the security company G4S has done far worse things than simply failing to fulfil their contract to provide 10,000 security staff to the Olympics. But she also reveals that even they fall prey to gut-wrenchingly awful corporate branding:

It even has a jolly theme tune, an apparently unironic track called "G4S: securing your world", which involves pounding synths and teeth-clenching rhymes like "let your dreams unfurl".

Tweeter @_stux_ dug up the full video of the song. It is, appropriately, terrible, and although the video looks to have been recorded with a camera-phone during someone's induction at the company, rest assured that only improves it:

Update, 18 July: For some reason which I am sure has nothing to do with G4S being cripplingly embarrassed, the YouTube video has been taken down. But The Internet Never Forgets, and so another version of it has been uploaded on Soundcloud instead:

In case, for some unbelievable reason, you don't want to/can't listen to the song, the lyrics stand alone as some of the worst ever:

You love your job and the people too

Making a difference is what you do

But consider all you have at stake

The time is now don't make a mistake

Because the enemy prowls, wanting to attack

But we're on the wall, we've got your back

So get out front and take the lead

And be the winner you were born to be

G4S! protecting the world

G4S! so dreams can unfurl

24/7 every night and day

A warrior stands ready so don't be afraid

G4S! secure in your world

G4S! let your dreams unfurl

We're guarding you with all our might

Keeping watch throughout the night

Terrible.