Business Insider - Debrahlee Lorenzana is filing a lawsuit against Citibank because they fired her, she says, for the strangest reason: she’s too hot. She’s 5′5”, 125 pounds and well, you’ve seen her photo. “Where I’m from,” she told the Village Voice, “women dress up—like put on makeup and do their nails—to go to the supermarket… I was raised very Latin. We’re feminine. A woman in Puerto Rico takes care of herself.”Her bosses told her that “as a result of the shape of her figure, such clothes were purportedly ‘too distracting’ for her male colleagues and supervisors to bear,” she says. [Her two male] managers gave her a list of clothing items she would not be allowed to wear: turtlenecks, pencil skirts, and fitted suits. And three-inch heels.

:”As a result of her tall stature, coupled with her curvaceous figure,” her suit says, Lorenzana was told “she should not wear classic high-heeled business shoes, as this purportedly drew attention to her body in a manner that was upsetting to her easily distracted male managers.”

“I couldn’t believe what I was hearing,” Lorenzana told the Voice. My clients don’t seem to have any problem.”

She’s working together a lawsuit to charge the bank for creating a sexually discriminatory environment with a lawyer, Jack Tuckner, who agrees that she’s smoking hot, but thinks Debarah’s case should stand up well with a jury.

“It’s like saying that we can’t think anymore ’cause our penises are standing up—and we cannot think about you except in a sexual manner—and we can’t look at you without wanting to have sexual intercourse with you. And it’s up to you, gorgeous woman, to lessen your appeal so that we can focus!”

I absolutely refuse to believe that this story is true. I mean tell me you don’t like my firm, tell me you wouldn’t let your boss cum in your eyeball, tell me you wouldn’t put out, but don’t tell me you got fired for being too hot. There is just absolutely no fucking chance that happened. Because Rule #1 of working in an office is that you want as many hot girls who dress like sluts as possible to help pass the time and eventually try and fuck. I mean what’s the point of going out for drinks and company outings if you’re not trying to bury the hot chick. And multiply this times 10 when it comes to Wall Street guys. That’s all they do. They make money, gamble, do drugs and chase skirts. So I don’t know why this chick got fired, but it certainly wasn’t for flaunting her cunt in the office. No way no how.