A jar of gherkins and a gaggle of helpful internet strangers came to the rescue of a Perth man who found his naked buttocks superglued to the top of a homemade bar counter on Friday night.

Disguised behind the seemingly innocuous title “Who do you call when you’re stuck”, a post by u/Agent641 to the Perth section of popular internet forum Reddit revealed the hilarious misadventures of an amateur carpenter.

“Well I wanted a nice shiny coffee bar counter top, so I cut and sanded and stained it all nice, and I applied a coat of epoxy resin (Thursday) night,” one of the hapless man’s posts reads.

“It’s supposed to set hard in 24 hours. So tonight after having a shower I came to check on it, and I rapped my fingers on it and it sounded like hard plastic, so I thought it was set.

“I was curing it in the living room because it’s the least dusty place.

“Anyway I just happened to sit down on it while I was reading the (instructions) that came with the epoxy, wondering if I should give it another coat.

“When I was done reading the instructions, I went to stand up, and couldn’t.

Camera Icon ‘What a pickle!” was the inspiration that helped free this hapless soul. Credit: Reddit

“So I’m kinda sitting here with a slab of jarrah attached to my butt cheeks, watching Battlestar Galactica and waiting for the non-emergency DFES number to return my call.”

The post attracted more than 300 comments, with Redditors advising the man call 000 or a friend, and one woman going so far as to offer to drive over and help the man himself because she wasn’t busy and “the husband is sleeping.”

But it was a throwaway line that provided the inspiration for his eventual escape: “What a pickle.”

“OMG YES!” the man replied.

“One of the release agents Google mentioned was vinegar. I can’t get to the acetone or the thinners in the garage (won’t fit thru the doorway) but I know I do have a jar of pickles in the cupboard I could get to, eat the pickles and use the vinegar to weaken the surly bonds of resin!

“This is now Plan A.”

Camera Icon If you look closely you can see the offending cheeks. Credit: Reddit

An hour later the man posted an update saying the gherkin juice was working, before again updating his enthralled internet following with news he had just realised he had a jigsaw within arm’s reach he could use to cut down the bar counter so he could exit home and get to the chemicals in his garage.

“I was able to get the acetone and the turps and use these to accelerate the fantastic work my pickle juice has been championing,” he wrote.

“Still watching BSG while I dissolve my assload of resin, and it’s going great!”

Saturday morning the man reported feeling “a little tenderness but not much pain. If anything, my butt feels thoroughly exfoliated.”

The man did not respond to attempts to contact him through Reddit.