The Duggars’ homeschool curriculum is full of wisdom, if by wisdom, of course, we mean a frenetic preacher screaming in tongues about hell. Now, imagine that raving, holy lunatic wants to teach you about cervical cancer and gangrene as it directly relates to lust.

The Advanced Training Institute’s Wisdom Booklets—designed by noted bachelor and octogenarian sex offender Bill Gothard—has a lot to say about cervical cancer. And medicine in general. And it makes for just about the worst, most impractical first aid arsenal you ever did see.

Here are some of the most inane bits of advice, straight from the Duggars’ school curriculum. God help us all.

What’s the best way for women decrease their chances of cancer AND venereal disease?

God’s law. And/or stop letting in so much alien seed.

Doctors have discovered that the seed of the man is an alien substance to the woman. It triggered responses similar to those of an “allergic” reaction. A woman who has a husband is able to develop “immunity” to this reaction; however, a promiscuous woman’s immune system becomes confused and unable to distinguish alien substances. This confusion is a key to the development of cancer.

Does gangrene illustrate the development and destruction of lust?

Apparently!

Diseases of the body usually have their counterpart in diseases of the soul. There is, in fact, an intimate relationship between the health of the soul and the health of the body.

By understanding the workings of a disease in one realm we can often gain significant insight to a corresponding disease in the other realm.

Can a man physiologically control himself around a lady?

Why, no. Scientifically speaking, he cannot.

When a man looks lustfully at a woman, a flood of impulses travels through the optic nerve to the back of the brain. As a result, the glands and other bodily functions are activated, and the level of testosterone increases. Recent studies revealed a significant correlation between high testosterone levels and those who commit violent crimes.

Ladies, you’ve been warned. It’s entirely up to you now. Only you.

How does a father damage his sons and daughters by lust?

How doesn’t he!

In the same way as genetic diseases are passed from parents to children, the specific sins of the fathers are passed on in the form of weaknesses to their sons and daughters. Thus, a father who lusts with his eyes will cause his children to have greater temptation in this area until he confesses his past sins and prays a daily hedge around his children.

Why do we have eyes?

The better to see you(r deep, repulsive sin) with.

The eye transmits the sensual stimuli to the brain, which activates the heart, which is “deceitful and desperately wicked.” ( See Jeremiah 17:9)

Should you fear death?

Depends—are you a Christian?

There is reason for a non-Christian to fear death, but not for a Christian. Death to him is the ultimate healing, because in heaven there is no sickness, sorrow pain, or death.

In that case, as an atheist/profligate/Jew, it would seem that the answer for me is an unequivocal yes—and how!

Why might some women have miscarriages?

Because they are licentious, wanton trollops.

The miscarriage or premature birth of a child conceived in unfaithfulness can also be attributed to the stress of the cup of bitter water. This interpretation assumes that the accused WOMAN is pregnant when she is brought before the priest. If the child is the husband’s , she has no reason for guilt, and the child will live.

How might one spot an anorexic?



Look for the quartered pea.