Dale, who writes the comics.

Valentines Day Quiz! Happy Valentine's Day readers! To celebrate the disgusting events of love making, that divine sticky handshake, and the strange pairs it shapes, I've devised this simple quiz you can take with your partner: 1. When you are dreaming and make that whimper do I…? a) stop spooning you. b) make it too? c) burrow under the covers d) never mention it.

2. Do you remember that day? a) no. b) Well, I felt differently then. c) Did you find that in the pockets of your coat? d) Was it raining outside?

3. Was it better or worse? a) much better b) worse c) divine d) deep unapproachable sorrow

3. Has your face changed? a) yes, I think so. b) I can't tell. c) here you look different. d) It's your cheeks and your eyes.

4. Did (s)he mean a lot? a) I can't tell. b) at the time c) more than you. d) it was just different.

5. Would you like to be alone forever? a) yes b) I'm unhappy no matter what... c) please, no. d) sometimes its difficult to think about it like when I'm coming home in the evening and face the long climb up the staircase to my apartment.

6. Why won't you talk to me? a) I'm not sure. b) I think I'm angry. c) I'm asleep d) what?

7. Touch here. a) no. b) ok. c) is that too rough? d) no promises. 8.) Did you receive my letter? a) I've torn it in to tiny pieces which rained on my livid face. b) tears struck it in many places c) why? d) stop it. Well? How did you do? Time to crunch those numbers! For each (a) give yourself five points, for each (b) ten, for each (c) 20, for each (d) fifty 35-100 You are hurting everyone you know. 101-200 You are hurting as many people as hurt you evenly. 201-300 Half eaten bits of food, orange peels and bread crusts, are sprinkled around your bed. The columns of sunlight are filled with dust. Do you ever leave? 301-350 Whose grave are you gripping to weep on, Casanova?

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