Remember, Damn, Girl is one-quarter beauty blog. Mama likes to swim in the shallow end of the pool from time to time. Let’s dive in, shall we? Here are the stars of the DGGYST morning routine:

Beauty Blender, how are you so amazing? You delight me everyday. You bring out the best in me, you bring out the best in my foundation, and maybe even the world. What was the point of even wearing foundation before you came along? Really, what was the point of living?

I’m not the biggest fan of the Batiste brand dry shampoo in general (covers ears at the collective screams of disbelief) but the Bare one is just amazing. I find that unlike every other dry shampoo, it soaks up oil but leaves the shine. So if you are looking for a great dry shampoo that genuinely gives you that freshly-washed look, this is the one. (If you struggle with greasy hair, check out How to Prolong the Shit out of Your Wash.)

I have notoriously oily, very hooded, expressive eyes. Bobbi Brown No Smudge mascara is the only mascara I have ever used that just won’t budge, smudge, or quit. During a tear-tsunami bemoaning the most painful breakup of my life, my friend sorrowfully gave me her condolences while patting me on the back. “I love you, you are going to get through this… and also… what is the name of your mascara? Cause, god damn, it is hanging in there!” True Story.

4. Ardell Eyelash Glue in dark

I believe that in my sixteen years of daily application of false eyelashes I have tried every lash glue known to man. For me, the Ardell dark lash glue sticks all day, removes easily, and is by far the most flexible and comfortable. It’s cheap and easy to find to boot! If you want to try it, score an additional 10 percent off your all your lashes and glues by using code DAMNGIRL at https://www.madamemadeline.com.

This thing is magic and worth every penny. Sure, you might have to knock over a liquor store to pay for it, but you’ll have the best brows in prison! As a redhead, finding a brow pencil that matches my hair color and looks natural can be quite challenging. I highly recommend the color “auburn” for my fellow soulless step children.

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DGGYST is affiliated with Amazon. I heartily endorse every product I mention with or without that sweet $5 check from our overlords at Amazon.