Thanks for the Pet Care, but What About the Dishes?

My dog walker will be taking care of my dog and staying at my apartment while I’m away after the holidays. She has done this before, and I am grateful for her service. She takes excellent care of my dog. The issue: the mess she leaves behind (dishes in the sink, etc.). I pay her, and I would like her to leave the place cleaner. How can I raise this without offending her?

ANONYMOUS

Let me be the first to agree that asking your dog sitter to run the dishwasher or leave the living room looking as if a cyclone had not torn through it is totally reasonable. Let me also remind you that finding someone you trust enough to stay in your home and care for your dog is no mean feat.

Don’t ruin future vacations for yourself by mistaking your dog sitter for a housekeeper. They both work in your home, but you wouldn’t ask your mechanic to drive you on errands, right?

Feel free to say, “Can you make sure the food is stowed and the dishes are clean? And please empty the trash.” But don’t expect her to clean the place (unless you hired her as a dog sitter-slash-downstairs maid). Hire someone else for that.

To Invite, or Not to Invite?

Every year, I host a holiday party for my extended family. One of my cousins does not speak to his mother. I invite them both. My aunt comes, and my cousin bows out. If I had to choose, I would prefer my cousin to attend. But the only way to ensure this result is not to invite my aunt. I wish I weren’t in this awkward position. But may I leave her off the guest list?

ANONYMOUS

Stop right there! You will not wade into these treacherous waters on my watch. As hosts, we invite people we like (or feel obliged to include). But they decide whether to attend. Do not embroil yourself in this mother-son feud or exclude your aunt from a family party. (Who knows if your cousin would come even if his mother weren’t invited?) If you want to see him, invite him to dinner.

For help with your awkward situation, send a question to SocialQ@nytimes.com, to Philip Galanes on Facebook or @SocialQPhilip on Twitter.