Since the holiday glitter has faded and flower blossoms are so last season, your guy may be suffering from a plain, undecorated beard. BORING! It is your job to make sure your guy’s face is on fleek this New Year. Here are some creative ideas for things you can put in his beard this year.

Tampons

Hey girl, it’s the freakin’ weekend! We know your Kate Spade clutch is cute, but it definitely can’t hold all the necessities. You need some extra storage, and it’s hiding out right on your dude’s face! Go right ahead and stick those little lady plugs deep into the depths of his chin forest. Pro tip: Don’t forget to tuck those strings back. You don’t want it to look like he has gray hairs!

Freshly Cracked Pepper

Did you see all those sexy men with glitter in their beards this past Christmas? Totes adorbs, but so impractical! Glitter has no real purpose or taste—that’s where pepper comes in! Spice up your guy’s soul patch with some freshly cracked pepper. It’s a great look that gives you that little something extra to punch up your classic Caesar salad. This beard adornment will have you saying, “Thank you waiter, we are all set here…. Now Brad, top my meal off and tell me about your feelings.”

Feathers

Curious about what to do with your guy’s dreary old muttonchops? Borrowing inspiration from our avian friends, place colorful plumage in those facial wings. Your guy will rock out with his inner peacock out, all while making him quicker and more aerodynamic. Added bonus, this crowd pleaser will be sure to tickle your fancy, if you know what we mean! (We mean it will tickle your thighs while he goes down on you, which will feel good.)

Donut Holes

Because sometimes you want a snack! If your guy has particularly spiky beard hairs, simply shove half a dozen munchkins onto his face. He’ll look like a pompom-covered cutie, and you’ll look full!

Monkeys From That Game, Barrel of Monkeys

Who didn’t love those little guys? Take a handful of these playful plastic monkeys from your favorite childhood game and loop their tails in the thicket of his face-bush. You can even throw a little throwback chindig: Have your best gals bring their bearded guys to the bar, and link up the beard-monkeys from face to face. This promotes a little healthy male bonding, leaving you ladies free to dance!

There you have it: a list of drool-worthy beard ornaments for his beard. Happy New Beard!