So some people, in a pathetic effort to paint women as bad guys for demanding equality, put this comically slanted survey about Conflict in the Secular Movement up. The questions and possible answers are so insulting there is little to no reason for actual feminists to respond, which is, of course, the point. Major Mike at Secular Women has taken a crack at it, which you should all go read.

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But while I was reading his take, it occurred to me. Perhaps we are being a little harsh on this survey. Perhaps the only reason that it seems slanted and deliberately distorting is because some of the possible answers are missing. With that in mind, I have some ideas of what the missing answers might look like, answers that, if they had not been dropped by accident (I’m sure it was an accident!), might have made the survey more fair-minded.

Yes, all three answers on this are clearly wrong and confusing. But maybe that’s because they lost the fourth answer: “Sex pests, sexual harassers, and whatever the hell you want to call Michael Shermer.” Of course, that answer would win in a walk, because if harassment-prone men simply chose to act according to the standards of basic decency, none of this would be happening.

Super slanted unless you figure out what the third, missing option was. My guess:

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Clearly missing answer #3: Only if you’re willing to be sexually harassed without complaint.

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Missing answer: The conflict starts when men sexually harass women in the real world, not when women use the internet to talk about it.

Missing answer: Let’s start by asking men who can’t act right to avoid being alone with women at conferences. If you don’t like women using social media to complain about harassment, it’s worth remembering that they won’t complain if they don’t have anything to complain about.

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Missing answer: People who are opposed to social justice should start demonstrating their opposition by abandoning the fight for atheist equality. If you oppose social justice, at least be fucking consistent about it.

Missing answer: Hey, fuckwits, being called a name is tiddlywinks compared to the sexual harassment, abuse, condescension, and systematic oppression faced by women and people of color. Especially if you’re a big enough baby to think having someone accurately describe you as a “misogynist” counts as name-calling. For people who minimize the realities of sexual harassment, anti-feminists sure can be babies about a relatively harmless insult like being called a name. It’s almost like they have a double standard for how much bullshit men should have to put up with compared to women. Oh wait, did I say “almost”? I meant definitely.

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Missing answer: At this point, it’s an objective fact that sexual harassers tend to get prickly when you tell them to cut it out.

And one more gif to summarize how I feel about all this passive-aggressive survey nonsense:

Enjoy your Halloween!