After slaving away at a desk from 9 to 5, I was also slaving away in my leisure time to my hedonic addictions.

When you are a young man in a new place, you are basically at the mercy of who you work with, as it becomes more difficult to make friends after college. Though not impossible if you have the right approach. Yet my group of friends was essentially the people I worked with and I was fortunate to have them, but we largely wasted our time by going out drinking to cap off the long boring days at the office. Though fun occasionally, it sets you up for a life of mediocrity and possibly depression.

Still, I was going to the gym as often as I could, and spending my weekends biking or kayaking, weather permitting. Despite these positive hobbies, I was drinking too much beer and eating way too much fast food and processed garbage. Though I never got obese, I was significantly overweight for my standards and it began to affect my mood and my confidence.

I was falling into the trap mentality of believing my best days were behind me. Who could blame me? I was slowly losing my hair, gaining fat by the week, and stuck in a quiet, little Midwestern town with virtually no dating scene unless you had a very liberal policy on drug use. Not that that mattered since I was working long enough hours that I didn’t really have the time to waste on finding a girlfriend.

So, I spent my free time at the gym, drinking with my coworkers and playing copious amounts of video games. Aside from the gym and my outdoor activities, I was not pursuing positive endeavors and my quality of life was taking a toll from it. I even began to wonder if I was possibly depressed.

This especially hit home when I found an article online called “The Quarter Life Crisis.” Upon reading this, I did gain some comfort in the fact that what I was facing was not exactly unique. Nonetheless, I realized how unfulfilling my life was and realized that I needed to make a change if I was to live a more meaningful life.

So how did I change my life? I took risks. I made changes. I left my comfort zone. And I challenged myself.

By taking risks, I was giving myself a chance for a better life. I had one of the safest and most comfortable jobs anyone could hope to land. It was well beneath my abilities, so I had virtually no chance of being fired, and it was a company that will likely be here much longer than me. Yet I realized very quickly that unless you make it to the top of the pyramid, you are stuck earning a moderate salary and great health benefits. It is a trap job, intended to keep you satisfied enough to keep slaving away while never reaching your full potential of making the big bucks.

Rather than living a quiet life of desperation as Thoreau puts it, I took a risk. I quit and found a better job in sales where I could make as much or as little as I wanted. It all depended on how much effort I wanted to put forth. Though it was a much riskier job, it was ultimately so much more fulfilling and rewarding. I felt a direct link between the effort I put forth and the money I earned. More importantly, I felt like I was helping the little man in this job as opposed to lining the pockets of some corporate behemoth.

I made changes. I wasn’t happy with the direction my life was going so I changed almost everything. I quit my job, moved to a new city, and broke up with my girlfriend all in the same month. The fear of the uncertainty was surpassed by my fear of being stuck with the same job, in the same town, with the same girl and watch us both grow fat and unhappy.

This feeling of frustration and despair that I refer to as my “Quarter Life Crisis” really stuck with me. It ultimately motivated me to write my book, Reclaim Your Manhood, to help young men in a similar situation.

I left my comfort zone. I put myself in a new job, in a new town and I was all alone. The only people I knew were coworkers, but I learned a lot from my first move. I found myself a place in town where I would increase my chances of meeting people and I had no problem going out on my own and being social. Even if they were just single serving friends.