PLANS for Brexit have been put on hold after everyone involved realised that borders are a meaningless concept that exists only in our minds.

Brexit secretary David Davis said: “This is all one planet and we are all one people.

“Let’s feed the hungry, help the poor wherever they come from and damn the economy because that’s a man-made construct as well.”

EU negotiator Michel Barnier said: “I agree with my friend and brother, David Davis, forget the economic structures that we have placed upon ourselves and the invisible lines that we say define countries.

“We will do away with flags, anthems and national identity and live now and always as one human race.”

The speech was met with rapturous applause whilst both men stood hand in hand and began to sing the Woody Guthrie song This Land is My Land, This Land is Your Land.

However journalist Nikki Hollis said: “I heard someone tipped a wrap of MDMA into their coffee today.

“Give them a couple of hours and they’ll be back to squabbling over the imaginary line that we say divides Ireland into two countries.”