I’m single. I date, a lot. I’ve met women at bars, through friends and family and on just about every dating site you can think of.

Despite how I meet a women, they always have this huge element of fear in disclosing any sort of personal information. Maybe I shouldn’t be so surprised, but I have always looked for and expected the best in people. Maybe my glasses are too rose colored.

So what consistently happens when I ask for a phone number?

Girl: “You’re not crazy right?”

Me: “No way…” [Yeah, like I’d admit to it if I was.]

I wonder if this hesitation existed in the 60’s before a world of sensationalism and Dateline. Yeah, Dateline NBC. The devil. Single-handedly responsible for killing (ironically) dating and chivalry.

When I think of people who can’t sleep at night because they are afraid of someone breaking in and killing them in their sleep, I think of Dateline. Wait, you can’t sleep in the middle of the night? Turn on the TV. Oh, wait, you’re going to watch a show on Dateline (or Law & Order) about some serial killer? Good idea!

Funny, I used to be afraid of sharks as a kid. I never tried watching Jaws at the same time I was swimming in the ocean, but I’m sure that will help me get over my fear…

As anyone who has tried online dating knows, although most don’t admit it, it’s truly an exercise in marketing. Don’t believe me? Which pictures did you post on your profile? The ones where you think you look the most attractive and that conceal physical flaws.

Ohhh, you only posted photos of puppies and rainbows. Guess what, that’s marketing. You picked images you think represent you. [Different topic for another blog.]

Knowing people post their very best photos, I learned it’s best to try and get a more everyday look of the person to eliminate any “surprises” on the first date…ladies, judge me later. That said, I always ask for Facebook First (it’s capitalized because it’s a rule). Now, the responses I get are really amazing:

RESPONSE 1

Girl: “We can be facebook friends after we meet.”

Me: “After we meet I will already know what you look like.”

RESPONSE 2

Girl: “I have photos of my friends and family on there.”

Me: “Pretty sure I’m not trying to date you mom.”

RESPONSE 3

Girl: “I have a ton of personal information on there.”

Me: “If you were worried about someone seeing your personal information, you MIGHT not want to put it on facebook. Just a thought.”

MY FAVORITE

Girl: “You could be a serial killer!” [Feel free to insert – murderer, rapist, axe murder or my favorite from earlier this week, Try to wear my skin as a dress]

Me: Honest Response “If I was going to be a serial killer, you should be more worried about meeting me for coffee or a drink than Facebook. Kind of hard to ruffie you through Facebook. Pretty easy at a bar though. Further, the Pentagrams on my Facebook might even give you head’s up.”

OR

Me: “You could be fat?”

Yeah, I just made a woman breathe fire with that one. “Fat?! Are you fucking kidding me?”

So here is the interesting part. I suggested the woman might be fat which makes me scum of the earth and a horrible person.

She suggested I might kill people or wear her skin as a dress. WTF?! We aren’t even in the same ballpark.

If she’s fat, she should go to the gym. If I’m a serial killer I should go to jail and get the death penalty.

On a meanness scale of 1-10, calling someone fat is about 2. Murder is a 10! In between the two you have punching someone, stealing candy from a baby, etc.

In brief ladies, it’s not funny, nice or cute to suggest a guy might be a serial killer. In fact, it’s hurtful. If you’re really worried every guy out there might kill you, go buy a cat and get used to a life alone.

Sincerely,

A guy standing up for men