The religious world is deeply divided over whether and how to recognize same-sex relationships, and whether to ordain noncelibate gay men and lesbians as clergy members. Liberal Christian and Jewish denominations have become increasingly supportive of gay men and lesbians and their relationships, while more conservative denominations have held to traditional teachings about sexuality and marriage.

The United Methodist Church’s official positions on same-sex relationships are clear: The denomination’s Book of Discipline defines marriage as between a man and a woman, declares homosexual practice to be “incompatible with Christian teaching” and forbids clergy members to perform same-sex weddings. The denomination also says it will not ordain “self-avowed practicing homosexuals.”

But there is significant resistance to those policies within the denomination. Hundreds of Methodist ministers have signed a statement saying they are willing to officiate at same-sex marriages, and some have done so; there are also clergy members who have declared themselves to be gay.

Other Methodist clergy members have faced sanctions for breaking the denomination’s rules — in 1999, the Rev. Jimmy Creech was defrocked for officiating at the marriage of two men — and Mr. Schaefer said that, when his son asked him in 2006 to preside at his wedding the next year, he knew he was risking his ministry.

“I really didn’t do this to make a rebellious statement — I did this as an act of love,” Mr. Schaefer said. “He had been harmed and hurt by the message of the church that said you can’t be homosexual and go to heaven — it threw him into such a spin that he was considering suicide — and had I said no to his request, it would have negated all the affirmations my wife and I had given him.”

Tim Schaefer, 30, who lives in Hull, Mass., said that he, too, had known the risks, but that “I had to ask him — he was my dad.”