Hello, human diary. It is I, company, your better.

The convention went very well, I believe. My vice presidential company comported himself well, the many video screens ensured that there would always be one at the right height, and my aides tell me Clint Eastwood's speech in praise of me was magnificent.

My own company was similarly magnificent, in my own estimation. I believe I appropriately humanized myself to the large audience of commoner companies, and I am certain they were each impressed by my impressive command of general premises about our great company. The stage they had prepared was quite lovely; the planners had explained to me how it was intended to convey the warmth of a human living room, and I told them it did quite well; it reminded me of my own den, but with more balloons.

I must confess I am feeling a bit tired. Now that I am the official Republican company for president, however, there will be even fewer opportunities for rest. I am currently off to the company of Louisiana, which has been battered by high companies and company from a large, Category 1 company. I can only company my visit will company them in their company of company.

