Given where this conversation is currently flaring up it likely wouldn’t merit a mention if we weren’t seeing the same thing in so many other places. The issue at hand is whether or not it’s “transphobic” or discriminatory in some fashion for a straight person to refuse to date someone of the same sex if they “identify” as the opposite gender. This story comes to us from the UK version of the reality show, Celebrity Big Brother. I initially thought that they might be stretching the definition of celebrity here, as I’d never heard of either India Willoughby (a male journalist who now identifies as a woman) or R’n’B singer Ginuwine. But for all I know they’re all the rage in England, so take that as you will.

The BBC reports that Willoughby became incensed when Ginuwine declared the decision as to whether or not one should date across the gender-bending aisle to be a “personal choice,” but stated that he personally wouldn’t do it. The journalist became further upset when he sugested sharing a kiss with Ginuwine and was rebuffed. This, apparently, set off a debate across the pond as to whether or not Ginuwine (and presumably anyone else holding his common sense opinions) is a hateful, hatemongering, Hatey McHateface.

“I do not want to call it transphobic,” says Miss Sahara, a transgender woman who works as a model and songwriter. “When someone is transphobic they don’t sit next to them. Ginuwine was having a very comfortable conversation with India.” “What is transphobia? If you are afraid of trans people, if you are excluding trans women from womanhood then you are being transphobic. “What Ginuwine said was that of an ignorant person who has not been with a trans woman before. It was more of an ignorance, fed by a media that often depicts trans women in a sensationalised way, with strong bone structure and husky low-baritone voices,” Miss Sahara says. “The majority of straight men are worried about what society thinks of them if they date a trans woman,” she says. “Toxic masculinity makes them violent and rude about their attraction.”

Willoughby later goes on to unintentionally make the point which his community seems to be missing, saying, ” all this superficial stuff that you are a woman and all that sounds great and is the right thing to say. But it makes no difference if people don’t believe it – that’s the problem.”

Yes indeed. That is the problem. People don’t believe you’re a woman and I guarantee you that the same goes for a significant majority of the liberals who support you and your cause. They’re saying they believe it because it’s become the cause du jour in social justice circles and they’ve been trained to say those words so as not to offend the in crowd. But in their hearts, they know that you are the gender you were born as. You’ve touched on the heart of it with the word “believe.” The problem isn’t that they don’t believe it. The problem is that you believe you are a woman. That’s pretty much the definition of gender dysphoria, gender confusion or whatever you care to call it.

As to the other question, it is patently preposterous for any group of supporters to go around on social media and elsewhere lecturing straight people and accusing them of some form of hate crime or bigotry because they choose to date people of the opposite gender. That’s how the majority of people are wired and there is simply no way in hell that your average straight male is going to get into a sexual relationship with someone with male genitalia simply because they believe they’re a girl. Nor would a straight woman hop into bed with another woman. It would be equally unfair for you to chastise a gay man or a lesbian for not veering off and dating outside of their preferred pool.

This simply isn’t going to happen. And you’re not going to make any of us feel guilty for not bending to your will suddenly jumping into the gay dating scene. Give it a rest. As an adult, you’re free to “believe” whatever you like, but the rest of society is under no obligation to play along and enable your fantasy.