Athletes Who Would Make Great Politicians…

by The Man No One Came To See in Uncategorized

With the rise of Sarah Palin in this past election cycle, I started to wonder what the qualification were required to be a politicians. I used to think you had to be a charismatic, intelligent, confident, and relatively popular, but Sarah Palin revealed that a lack of intelligence is not a hindrance for a politicians. So if you remove intelligence, we look for charismatic, confident, and popular people. That opens up a completely new set of people, and i immediately thought of NBA players. Think about it, these guys go out onto the floor in front of thousands of people and put on a show. They are use to dealing with the media all the time and encountering fans. NBA stardom breeds political juggernauts. I have compiled a list of five NBA players who would make great politicians.

1. Shaquille O’Neal- Democrat



When you think of the most charismatic players in the NBA, you mind has to come immediately to Shaq. The ‘Big Aristotle’ has entertained and enlightened fans across the country. But Shaq is not all fluff, he has serious experience with helping the common man. Shaq is an honorary U.S. Deputy Marshall for his work helping stop sexual predators on the Internet and has trained with the L.A. Police Academy. While in Miami, he witnessed a hate crime on the streets and tracked the suspects and gave their location to the cops so they could apprehend them. Without a doubt Shaq has the law and order credentials for political office. He has also worked to alleviate the hardship felt by citizens of Orlando during the current recession. He plans on buying mortgages of families who can’t afford their mortgage and sell them back at a more affordable rate.

Shaq has all the aspects of a good politicians and if push comes to shove, he is over seven feet tall and about 350 pounds so he always has the upper hand in negotiations.

Potential Offices: Sheriff of Broward County, Florida, Governor of Florida, Governor of New Jersey, his home state.

2. Sir Charles Barkley- Independent

In the NBA, Sir Charles was known for his tenacity and ability to defy the odds as a 6’4” power forward. He is one of the 50 greatest players in NBA history and an ambitious person who has set his sights on political office over the last decade. In 1995, he was discussing running for Governor in Alabama in 1998. He has always been outspoken and at an education summit he declared, “I’m serious. I’ve got to get people to realize that the government is full of it. Republicans and Democrats want to argue over stuff that’s not important, like gay marriage or the war in Iraq or illegal immigration… When I run — if I run — we’re going to talk about real issues like improving our schools, cleaning up our neighborhoods of drugs and crime and making Alabama a better place for all people.” Sounds like a politician, doesn’t it? Barkley, a registered Republican, endorsed Obama early in the election cycle.

Barkley is not without his flaws. He has an admitted gambling problem that left him with millions of dollars in debt to bookies. He also had a DUI where he said he was racing to get oral sex from a prostitute. We have politicians with worse record than that.

Potential Office: Already said he is running for governor of Alabama in 2014

3. Lebron James- Democrat

Lebron is Ohio’s patron saint. He is the biggest and most marketable star in the NBA. He has spent his entire life in Ohio and is trying to give back to the people who helped him along the way. He has the statewide appeal because he was Mr. Basketball for Ohio three years in a row. 100% of Ohio residents can identify him which is more than any politician can say. Lebron is also a staunch Democrat, he donated $20,000 to the Obama campaign and organized a huge viewing party at the Cavaliers stadium for Obama’s half-hour infomercial near the end of the campaign. His national prominence and charisma makes him a great candidate. (We will forget the part about him not going to college…).

Potential Office: Anything he wants/is eligible for in Ohio

4. Grant Hill- Democrat

Grant Hill fits the mold of a politician more than the previous three. He graduated from prestigious Duke University ( Duke fucking sucks by the way) and has no real legal problems throughout his career. He does have some political experience, he actively supported John Kerry in 2004 and Barack Obama in 2008. He also has a strong connection with the Clinton family, his mother was Hilary’s roommate while they attended college, and Grant got a call from President Clinton the day he was drafted. Hill has also served as a public health advocate after his near death encounter with MRSA. Hill is a prominent fundraiser for Obama and continues to be very active in politics as his career progresses.

Potential Office: Governor of Arizona or Florida

5. Michael Jordan- Democrat

Any discussion of Michael Jordan needs to start out under the assumption that he is the greatest to ever play the game. He is as confident as any player to ever play the game but he does not come off as arrogant. He developed one of the biggest sports brands and marketed himself so well that he is now estimated to be worth 450 million dollars. That large amount of personal wealth immediate makes him a viable candidate. Another thing that makes him a political powerhouse is his god-like status in Illinois and North Carolina(Go Heels). No one is more popular in those states than Jordan. His skill at marketing himself would make him a campaigning machine and a political threat to his opponent.

Potential Offices: Anything he wants in NC or Illinois

With politicians these day, i could go for some change in the ranks, maybe an influx of dunking and jump shots would spice up Capitol Hill