Anyone in northern Illinois could tell you that the recent earthquake was not normal. Couple that fact with the dozens of earthquakes reported worldwide and we have an extremely extraordinary earthquake epidemic evolving.

Researchers and earthquake experts everywhere entertain the idea that the cause may not necessarily be the typical tectonic plate shift blamed for previous events. Not only are their findings fascinating, but their predictions are even scarier than watching a Rob Schneider movie.

It’s been warming up ever so slightly for those of us in the Northern Hemisphere. Sure, the weather still sucks but how many of us have NOT taken our Mustangs out on the road recently? If you’re like me, you drive yours pretty much all year long. However, since the saturation of snow and salt started, my baby was parked more than normal.

Apparently this recent over-exposure of horsepower hitting the roads has caused quite a disturbance. Scientist Ernest Logner explains, “What do you expect the Earth to do when over 8 million Mustangs are concurrently hitting the streets, revving up their meaty motors and otherwise causing a nuisance? I’ll tell you, my findings show it resulted in a rash of devastating earthquakes around the world. These outlaws need to follow my lead, by a Prius and use it sparingly!”

Logner also issues a dark warning, “April 12-17, 2014 will probably be the last days on Earth. Those are the dates of the 50th Anniversary Mustangs Across America drive. Not only will the Stangheads come out in record numbers, but they will parade those earth-movers across the entire U.S.! Are they out of their minds?” There were 648 registered for the 2009 Mustangs Across America, and they expect over 1000 for the 2014 drive. Funny how they screwed up the anniversary too.

Be there and make history, and enjoy your last days on Earth.

Related