Test 914-0180

Name: Dr. Sato

Date: 24/02/2018

Total Items: One unloaded electric airsoft M16 Rifle

Input: One unloaded electric airsoft M16 Rifle

Setting: 1:1

Output: One Pull-action crossbow with a hollow stock, three carbon fiber bolts with an electronic device serving as a bolt head.

Note: The mass of the bolts was equal to that of the original gun’s stock, which appeared to be made of carbon fiber. Researcher suspects that the device serves as a tracker but has no means of confirming it without potentially compromising the product.

Input: One of said carbon fiber bolts

Setting: Fine

Output: A single construction bolt with some sort of mechanism on it.

Note: Experimentation has revealed that the bolt is self screwing, using what is likely a small motor. The self screwing takes effect after light manual labor is applied.

Test 914-0181

Name: Dr. Hertz

Date: 28/02/2018

Total Items: Four assorted recordable compact-discs (CD-Rs) containing music samples

Input: One CD-R, containing a recording of Creedence Clearwater Revival's Fortunate Son (1969)

Setting: Rough

Output: One CD-R, containing a recording of Fortunate Son, later identified as being covered by The Shaggs, a 1960's rock band known for terrible performances. Notably, The Shaggs were not known to have ever performed this song.

Input: One CD-R, containing a recording of Neil Diamond's I'm a Believer (1967).

Setting: 1:1

Output: One CD-R, containing a recording of The Monkees' I'm a Believer (1967).

Input: One CD-R, containing a recording of the █████████ High School (located in ██████, ██) Class of ████ student orchestra performing Pachelbel's Canon in D.

Setting: Fine

Output: One CD-R, containing a professional orchestral rendition of Pachelbel's Canon in D. The performers were later identified as the Vienna Radio Symphony Orchestra.

Note: Dr. Hertz was noted to appear giddy and excited upon discovery of this result.

Input: One copy of Aeolian Memories, a self-published album of 21 songs composed, written, performed on guitar, and sung by Dr. Hertz in his spare time while moonlighting as a musical artist.

Setting: Very fine

Output: One CD-R. Upon further inspection, the music had been replaced with five tracks of complete silence, followed by the first chapters of the audiobooks Learn to Sing 101 by Karen Surmani, Teach Yourself to Play Guitar by David Brewster, and Songwriting for Dummies by Dave Austin, et al.

Note: At this point, Dr. Hertz was restrained and firmly escorted out of Research Cell 109-B for attempting to damage SCP-914 and yelling about "the [EXPLETIVE] what thinks it's being [EXPLETIVE] funny!" He has been temporarily suspended from the SCP-914 research program for unprofessional behavior.

Test 914-0182

Name: Dr. Rook, Technician █████

Date: 10/03/2018

Total Items: One manuscript of a Javascript program (self-learning chatbot), one manuscript of a Javascript program (Convolutional Neural Network model), one mechanical pocket watch, one photo of a bird (Pica sericea).

Note: The previous tests done with mechanical parts and code sections by Dr. Hadian and Researcher Mikk intrigued me. - Dr. Rook

Input: One manuscript of a Javascript program (self-learning chatbot), one manuscript of a Javascript program (Convolutional Neural Network model), one mechanical aluminum & silver pocket watch, one USB, one photo of a bird (Pica sericea).

Setting: Very Fine

Output: A mechanical bird roughly the size of a large pocket watch. Resembled a Korean Magpie in shape. The bird seemed to be made with a mix of clockwork and realistic metal plumage. By some unknown mechanism, it could hover for brief periods (roughly 45 seconds) in the air, though its base material- aluminum and silver- should’ve prohibited it from doing so. It could not speak in this form, though it displayed considerable intelligence and responded to people speaking to it. When connected to a computer via USB cable, the bird was able to speak through the computer’s speakers. It was capable of speech comparable to an eight-year-old child’s, though speech patterns significantly improved after several conversations. It acted remarkably similarly to a live magpie. Other than the mechanical bird, three folded sheets of blank paper were found in the output chamber. Close analysis revealed that they had no anomalous properties. Placed in item storage.

Note: I’m keeping the bird for some more research into how 914 could be used to create automated objects. One of the first tests recorded included a clockwork bird, so that’s where this came from. Dr. Hadrian was right! Think of the possibilities! - Dr. Rook.

Note: No matter how much Dr. Rook's 'Robbie' resembles a young child during communication, the result of this test has not yet been verified to be fully sentient.

Test 914-0183

Name: Dr. Joe

Date: 13/03/2018

Total Items: Three White Paper origami swans weighing 29g each.

Input: One Paper swan

Setting: Rough

Output: One Crumpled piece of white paper weighing 29g

Input: One Paper Swan

Setting: 1:1

Output: One Paper "fortune teller" popular with young schoolchildren with no writing on it weighing 29g.

Input: One Paper Swan

Setting: Fine

Output: One paper model of Cygnus buccinator (trumpeter swan) the size and mass of the original Origami swan. However this model is entirely anatomically correct to Cygnus buccinator in every way, with some organ systems being made of seemingly impossibly thin layers of paper. The model displays no anomalous properties.

Note: Interesting. 914 created a model of my personal favorite species of swan from the original paper one. Sentience or coincidence? I need to do more tests, but first make sure that model is saved in Fragile Non-Anomalous Item Storage, it could be useful at a later date. - Dr. Joe

Test 914-0184

Name: Dr. O’Bryan

Date: 25/03/2018

Total Items: Three different pieces of communication on paper medium.

Input: One typed thesis, titled “An Experimental Study on the Stress Limits of Metals in Corrosive Liquids”, as submitted by D-914-29.

Setting: Very Fine

Output: One typed thesis, titled “A Complete Experimental Study on the Stress Limits of Metals in Various Environments”. A review of the output by the subject and subsequently studied by appropriate personnel revealed no anomalous properties. The output contains research on several experiments not included in the original input, with suggestions on how to vastly improve the strength of metals in a wide variety of situations. A review of the output is being conducted by the Facilities and Engineering Department to test to see if these findings can improve security within the Foundation.

Input: One page of sheet music from “Ellen’s Third Song” by Schubert, as submitted by D-914-86.

Setting: Very Fine

Output: Tiny (5cm x 5cm x 2cm) origami music box. Upon opening the box, a clear melody identified as the song “Ellen’s Third Song” could be heard by all researchers in the area facility, including those who should be well out of range of being able to hear. Subject D-914-86 began singing along with the music, despite not showing any previous indication of knowing either Latin or taking singing lessons. After the conclusion of the piece, subsequent experiments confirmed that she could not sing.

Input: One copy of “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie, as submitted by D-914-77.

Setting: Very Fine

Output: One slightly warmer copy of “How to Win Friends and Influence People”. D-914-77 was sent back to their cell and monitored, showing no anomalous behavior after a week of review.

Note: D-914-77, and two guards have been reported as missing. Security footage shows the guards opening several doors and escorting D-914-77 off the premises, and driving them to a nearby restaurant. When a security team was sent there to retrieve the subject, a conflict began between the patrons of the restaurant and the security team, with the patrons refusing to allow the security team close to D-914-77. An order was given with O4 clearance to destroy the location, as a possible memetic anomaly may have occurred. Although the remains of D-914-77 have not been positively identified, security footage suggests that no one escaped the building prior to its demolition. Local media have been alerted to the fact that the destruction was caused by a broken gas main in the restaurant's kitchen.

Note: A full memetic screening will be made whenever media provided by SCP-914 is consumed. Please refer to Incident Report 914-IR6187 for further details.

Test 914-0185

Name: Dr. Manheim

Date: 25/03/2018

Total Items: One USB drive with a text file containing the source code of Creeper.

Note: Creeper was one of the first computer viruses ever made, and the systems it operated on are now 100% obsolete. Organic materials have been intentionally omitted from this test, in case SCP-914 decides to translate that into an actual biological virus. A hazardous materials team was on standby to make sure nothing that came out of 914 presented a threat to the facility or its occupants.

Input: Creeper source code on USB drive.

Setting: Very Fine

Output: A metallic figure, green in color and vaguely phallic. The object self-destructed upon being removed from SCP-914, in a manner comparable to a commercial firework. The remains have shown no anomalous properties.

Note: Well, that was anticlimactic. - Dr. Manheim

Test 914-0186

Name: Doctor Q.

Date: 04/03/2018

Total Items: One camera, broadcasting to a monitor.

Input: One camera

Setting: 1:1

Output: 17 seconds after entering, video feed showed a series of gears before abruptly cutting off. Regained contact about 21 seconds before leaving the output door but from a different camera.

Test 914-0187

Name: Doctor Q.

Date: 04/03/2018

Total Items: One mirror.

Input: One mirror

Setting: 1:1

Output: A similar mirror in a different shape.

Note: That was disappointing, I'll try it on Fine. - Dr. Q.

Input: One mirror

Setting: Fine

Output: One mirror reflecting 100% of light.

Input: Previous mirror

Setting: Very Fine

Output: [DATA EXPUNGED] Doctor Q. went blind for about 5 minutes. Object destroyed.

Input: One blank sheet of paper.

Setting: Very Fine

Output: Top half of SCP-571. Incinerated.

Test 914-0188

Name: Doctor Westrin

Date: 04/05/2018

Total Items: Two USB drives containing the first 500 digits of Pi.

Input: One USB drive as mentioned above.

Setting: 1:1

Output: A USB drive containing 500 seemingly random digits with no apparent pattern.

Input: One USB drive as mentioned above.

Setting: Very Fine

Output: A USB drive containing an unknown number of digits. It is currently theorized that this number is Graham's Number due to the USB drive's storage size.

Test 914-0189

Name: Researcher M. Inselmann

Date: 12/04/2018

Total Items: Three copies of 'Mein Kampf,' by Adolf Hitler. Text in the original German.

Input: A copy of Mein Kampf

Setting: 1:1

Output: A book titled 'How to Make Friends, Influence People, and then Murder Them,' subtitled 'How to be a Dickhead for Dummies.' Text mostly consists of hyperbolic German profanity.

Input: A copy of Mein Kampf

Setting: Fine

Output: A pile of ashes.

Input: A copy of Mein Kampf

Setting: Very Fine

Output: An animate 45-centimeter tall origami caricature of Adolf Hitler. Object does not appear to be sapient, but is able to vocalize a non-stop stream of threats and boasts. Voice confirmed to be that of the original Adolf Hitler. Object also noted to often clumsily fall over or bump into walls while goose-stepping about. Object is harmless, and mildly regenerative (the origami will refold if disrupted), and can be kicked by researchers as a form of stress management at their discretion.

Note: Outside of the testing area please. I should not need to specify that. - Dr. Veritas