Paraphernalia

Papers: Thin, difficult-to-fold sheets used to repeatedly spill marijuana on the ground


Scale: The difference between a misdemeanor and a felony

Plastic Sandwich Bag: The most trusted vehicle for transporting marijuana between two backpacks

Ways To Consume

Joint: A gateway to harder slang terms

Blunt: A larger, wider marijuana cigarette invented to expand rhyming options in early ’90s rap verses


Pipe: Any of a variety of simple smoking devices that can be used to reduce your mother to tears when she finds out you would want to ruin your future like this

Hookah: A great way to smoke a little weed while inhaling 900 cigarettes at once

Chillum: A $10 gift for your buddy who couldn’t come on the Thailand trip

Edible: Food—usually a brownie, cookie, or gummy candy—containing THC that can be smoked from a pipe or simply wrapped in a joint

Bong: Generally regarded by weed aficionados as the best way to accidentally get dirty, foul-tasting water into your mouth


Vape Pen: Small vaporizing devices that are ideal for weed users wary of lung cancer who would prefer a mystery ailment we’ll only find out about in a decade

Slang

Eighth: A few grams short of an eighth ounce of weed

Hash: Resin from the flower of a cannabis plant, often found spilled between pages of dog-eared copies of Allen Ginsberg’s Howl

Hot Box: When you run a hose from your car’s exhaust pipe into a cracked window and just sit there until you go to sleep

Stash: An empty prescription bottle, Altoids tin, or series of elaborately constructed trans-national tunnels and shipping containers where your weed supply is stored


Dispensary: A place where squares like cancer patients buy their weed

Ear: The human organ where joints are stored until “Tom Sawyer” is played at the Rush concert

Buzz Kill: Running over your 5-year-old brother while high

Strains

Indica: Shorter plant with full-figured, voluptuous leaves that drive a botanist wild

Hybrid: A grotesque crossbreed that emerged after a horrible explosion in a DEA lab


Sativa: Man, if every world leader just got in a room and passed around a joint rolled with this stuff, we could start making real progress

Heroin: Really, really good marijuana

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