This is a LEGO ship in a bottle built by Julia Morley. There's a worthwhile time-lapse video of its construction after the jump, which is pretty impressive. FIRE THE CANNONS! Just kidding, there aren't actually any cannons except in my imagination. Also, buttass-naked mermaids. Which -- did you know mermaids actually have barnacles for nipples? FACT. Some people think they have starfish but those people are idiots AND HAVE OBVIOUSLY NEVER GONE DEEP-SEA FISHING WITH DYNAMITE.

Julia says she took a week to plan the ship, using Bricksmith software, all the while being careful to make sure she could "build it back to front using only bricks that were able to fit through the neck of the bottle." Building it took three days.

That reminds me -- did I ever tell you about the time I found a message in a bottle on the beach? Just kidding, it wasn't a message it was a genie. He told me he'd been sealed away for over a thousand years and would grant me three wishes if I just gave him an HJ. "Well?" WELL HE F***ING LIED.

Hit the jump for the worthwhile video. No clue why she ended up deciding to remove the second mast, I was digging it. Also, you may want to watch the video on silent depending on how you feel about Donovan.

Lego Ship in a Bottle on Time-Lapse Video [wired]

Thanks to Pat, who was once building a ship in a bottle at the bar when somebody bumped into him and he got so mad he broke the bottle on a table and cut them. Jesus!