I saw the story of a 40-year-old man suing his parents in U.S. federal court for destroying his porn collection and immediately put on my old school Busted Coverage Big J journalist cap and went to work. What kind of wild man would sue his parents over something that 95% of us would find so trivial? Then I started reading the documents submitted for the lawsuit and I found, in my opinion, the son to be an absolute maniac about his porn collection — if an $87,000 lawsuit against his parents didn’t prove that point.

First, let’s get to the basics of the case. The son moves back in with his parents after his wife kicks him out, divorces him and he’s living on the streets, supposedly as an artist. The parents don’t have a great relationship with the son — there’s mention in the court documents that the parents didn’t have contact with him for approximately seven years, but they didn’t want to see him living on the streets so eventually he moves back home with the promise that he’s not bringing a porn collection with him. Even though they were tired of dealing with him, he was still family and blood.

The son writes about his collection that was destroyed:

According to the documents, mom and dad knew their son had a thing for porn and they were promised it wasn’t coming into their Michigan home. Well, eventually the son ends up moving to Muncie, Indiana and mom and dad started moving boxes around. Guess what they found? Yep, the collection. And when I say collection, this is one the level of Hideki Matsui, who was known as a huge collector.

From the AP:

An Indiana man is suing his parents for getting rid of his vast pornography collection, which he estimates is worth $29,000. The 40-year-old man last week filed a lawsuit in federal court in Michigan, where he moved in with his parents in 2016 following a divorce. … The lawsuit includes an email excerpt from the man’s father, who told his son, “I did you a big favor by getting rid of all this stuff.” The man is seeking triple financial damages of roughly $87,000.

My non-legal analysis & personal opinion after reading the documents: The son, whom I’m not naming — his parents don’t need the pain — is out of his mind. It would be one thing if this guy, 40, was capable of having a porn collection and treated it like it was a 1989 Upper Deck set, plus have the capability of maintaining a life that included him parenting his child. He can’t. This is some of the craziest crazy talk I’ve ever seen and that’s over an 11+ year internet career. The guy has a database and precise data about his porn collection that makes you wonder if he even has time to be a productive member of society.

Cold hard facts:

• Did the parents have a right to destroy his porn collection? Yeah, he should’ve taken it with him the minute he left their house.

• Does it suck to have your cherished porn collection destroyed? For this guy, yes, but at some point you either keep it by your side or risk it being destroyed. Mom and dad taught him a lesson.

Conclusion: This lawsuit, filed at a cost of $400 paid by the son, is getting thrown out immediately. Do I hope it goes to the Supreme Court? These parents deserve this period of life to be over with. The emails to and from their son are hard to read. God help me if that’s one of my BCs down the road.