Living in Portland for the past couple of decades, I’ve noticed a peculiar problem. Some folks are in the habit of calling Back Cove “Back Bay.”

I have no idea why.

It’s shallow, unnavigable and not much to look at, but it does deserve its own proper name. You can look up old maps and see it clearly marked at Back Cove.

We’ve even got businesses in town getting it wrong. I’m looking at you, Back Bay Grill and Back Bay Tower.

There is a Back Bay in Boston but it’s not even a body of water. It’s a neighborhood. So, I’m stumped as to why Portlanders get the two mixed up.

Anyway, it annoys the heck out of me. At the urging of a couple of my editors, I wrote this protest song. I hope you like it and take it to heart. The lyrics are below if you want to sing along.

“BACK COVE, NOT BACK BAY”

You know what really grinds my gears?

You know what really hurts my ears?

It’s when I hear some people say

Back Cove by the name Back Bay.

To say hearing it makes me irritated

Is really putting it understated.

So let’s let it suffice to say

It’s Back Cove not Back Bay.

It’s Back Cove, not Back Bay.

It’s Back Cove, not Back Bay.

It’s Back Cove, not Back Bay.

It’s Back Cove, not Back Bay.

From Tukey’s Bridge to the boulevard,

From Hannaford’s to Payson’s Park.

It’s full of water twice a day.

It’s Back Cove not Back Bay.

It’s about one mile from side to side,

And it’s full of mud at low tide.

It smells a little bit they say.

It’s Back Cove not Back Bay.

Back Bay Grill you got it wrong.

Back Bay Tower, I mean, come on.

Both of you should learn its name.

It’s Back Cove Not Back Bay.

The real Back Bay is nowhere near.

It’s down in Boston, it ain’t here.

I bet you guys is from from away.

It’s Back Cove not Back Bay.

So listen to the words I say,

And get it in your brain today.

‘Cause, in this matter, there is no gray.

It’s Back Cove, not Back Bay.

You’ll never ever get it wrong

If you memorize my song.

Get it right and lemme hear you say:

It’s Back Cove not Back Bay.