Remember that every day that you exist, you are robbed by capitalism. You deserve so much better ;)

Someone said “hey put this in your stupid magazine” and we looked at each other and shrugged like, “sure, ok, I guess why not.”

1. Take clothes off the hangers while browsing. Go into the dressing room and cut off all the tags on the clothes. Shove the tags behind the mirror, tape them under a bench, or put them in a pocket of something you're leaving behind.

2. Dress nicely and carry a big, leather bag. Browse through and find what isn’t tagged and when no employees or customers are looking, shove stuff in your bag. If it doesn’t fit you or is heinous, resell it or give it to a friend. Try making as few passes into your bag as possible. After each store, go back to your car and hide stuff in the trunk.

3. Buy something nice off Amazon. Make sure you aren’t there to sign for the package. Call and say it never came. When they send you another, return it.

4. Go to the bookstore, gather the books you want, and then sit down in the cafe section. Open up your backpack and pull your binder and your laptop out. Flip through everything, put the books in your binder, put the binder in your backpack.

5. Go to the grocery store while dressed nicely and carrying one of those reusable grocery bags. Fill it with food. Walk out by passing through the self checkout aisle.

6. Go to a nice boutique with a friend. Have them go into the dressing room to try things on. The employee will have noted how many items the friend took in. Go through the store and bring your friend more items to try on in “different sizes” and take away some more so the employee loses track.

7. Remember that every day that you exist, you are robbed by capitalism. You deserve so much better.