Chapter Text

It was very fortuitous, Akua thought, that her seat and Catherine's seat were placed so closely together. During the brief amount of time where she had been allowed to visibly hate the other girl, she'd despaired at their proximity, but now she now realized that it provided a hidden benefit: indeed, the fact that they were a mere six inches away from each other would make it extremely easy for her to hold the other girl's hand.

Akua smiled graciously at Mr. Black as she and Catherine entered the anger management room, tugging along the shorter girl by the wrist like a benevolent pet owner might prod a reluctant puppy. Catherine, for her part, seemed about as happy with the physical contact as she was with the entire fake dating scheme as a whole - which was to say, she seemed absolutely miserable and, from the scowl etched deeply on her tan face, was quite possibly planning homicide - but to her credit she did not protest. (To be clear, Akua could not care less about whether the other girl actually was planning homicide, as long as it didn't interfere with their arrangement.) Catherine's newfound tolerance for public displays of affection was pleasing but not particularly a surprise; over the past weekend, they had slowly begun to settle into their roles, texting frequently to cement the details of their supposed relationship. Also, hand holding probably seemed positively tame in comparison to…

Once again, Akua found her mind dragged unwillingly back to that little stunt in the parking lot. Honestly, the act itself was hardly important. She had done her very best to keep the kiss as chaste as physically possible, angling herself in such a way that it was more like their faces were briefly pressed together than anything remotely intimate, and for the duration of it she was too busy counting down the seconds to actually focus on the experience. Not that she would have any particular reason to focus in the first place. Catherine Foundling, while somewhat attractive, could not even begin to compare to the variety of men and women she had dallied around with. The only thing that made the kiss memorable was the fact that it was all part of her elaborate scheme to dupe Black, and she had spent the previous few days stewing on whether it had been enough . Had there been enough passion? Had it been strange that she’d placed her hand on Catherine’s hip? Was seven seconds too long for a kiss to go on? So many questions, and hardly any answers. Until now.

Since Black was currently typing away at his laptop and refusing to look at them, Akua scanned the rest of the room instead. Six cheap blue plastic chairs were arranged in a loose semicircle, identical to the last time. Unlike last time, though, there was only one person sitting. William Greenbury , the part of her mind where she stored unimportant people's names supplied helpfully. He looked somber as ever, though this time he had cast aside the trench coat in favor of a black V-neck with some kind of mutilated angel design on the front. Undoubtedly from the clearance aisle at Hot Topic , thought Akua uncharitably.

"Hey." Catherine nudged her, then took a half-step closer. When her lips were about an inch from Akua's ear, she whispered, "I don't actually have anything to say. But we've gotta act more couple-y in front of Black, right?"

Akua smiled, partially for show and partially because she was pleasantly surprised that Cat was actually taking the initiative. She let a surprised laugh erupt from her throat, as if the other girl had said something both funny and utterly inappropriate, and playfully swatted Cat on the arm.

"Ow," muttered the other girl under her breath. "That actually hurt."

"I don't care," Akua replied, voice equally low, but there was no real bite to it.

Truth be told, this tenuous stalemate between the two of them was more of a convenient side-effect than anything truly required . Even if Akua found herself deeply regretting this arrangement - and there was plenty of time for that to still happen - they were already in too deep to back out. There was no feasible way to disentangle themselves from their spiderweb of lies at this point, and she knew it, and Cat knew it. Black had, after all, already seen them at that crumbling shack disguised as a brunch restaurant. To back out now would essentially be admitting that they'd lied through their teeth, and while that was absolutely true, Akua had learned at a very young age to never admit to wrongdoing. She was not going to start now when that key lesson had gotten her so very far in life.

Mr. Black's gaze slid down onto their intertwined fingers, clearly somewhat uncomfortable, and Akua fought valiantly to prevent her smile from turning smug and mocking. That's right, she gloated internally. I managed my anger so well that I obtained a girlfriend in the process. She was sure that no one else in this pathetic excuse of a class had ever been so prodigious so rapidly; soon, Black would have no other recourse than to release them from their shackles and-

Cat flopped down onto her seat with a long-suffering sigh, the unexpected backward force causing Akua to stumble back into her plastic chair as well. Once she regained her bearings, she wrenched her hand from Catherine's and shot her an annoyed look. Would it really kill the other girl to be the slightest bit more considerate toward her fake girlfriend? From the fact that Cat graced her with a noncommittal 'sorry-not-sorry'-type shrug instead of even pretending to be remotely apologetic, the answer was apparently yes.

Black shuffled a small pile of papers on his desk and scribbled a few notes in red pen at the top before standing up from his seat. "I'm going to refill my thermos," he said finally, looking as if he was loathe to leave the room with them for even a few minutes. "I will be back before class starts. Do not get into a fight."

After the door clicked shut in his wake, there was blessed silence for a grand total of five seconds before someone spoke up.

"Wait." William looked to them with an expression on his face that indicated he wasn't entirely sure whether he cared enough about his question to expend the energy to keep talking. "Are you two together?" Before Akua could give an enthusiastic affirmative - Black, after all, was just outside, and he may still be able to hear them - Cat nodded somberly, in the same way one would nod if asked whether their dead relative had passed.

Akua twitched. And they had started so well, too, she mourned.

"And weren't you guys arguing, like… pretty intensely last time we were here?"

Cat nodded again, brushing back the few stray strands of hair fallen loose from her ponytail. "We've resolved our issues," she answered vaguely. "Politics… aren't everything."

Wow , Akua thought, undecided on whether she was utterly horrified or mildly impressed. It actually looked like saying those words caused her physical pain. She resisted the urge to make a quip about centrism, because getting into a fistfight with her fake girlfriend would not bode well for the rest of their relationship, and instead smiled at William. "We're more similar than you might expect," she said cryptically.

"I thought that was obvious," said William, looking very flatly unimpressed. "It takes a certain type of person to get into a screaming match in the class where you're supposed to learn how to control your urges to scream. On the first day." From the tone of his voice, Akua could glean that he did not think very highly of the type of people he was talking about. He sighed, then snorted and leaned back. "Didn't your parents ever teach you any manners?"

The smile on Akua's face froze, instantaneously, and then turned perhaps just the slightest bit predatory.

"I believe I read an article a few months ago about you, William," she replied brightly. "Didn't you break a man's jaw and three of his ribs because he insulted your sister?" She paused for a moment, stewing in faux contemplation, before continuing. "Ah, no, I misremembered. My apologies. You broke four ." She tapped her fingers in a sharp staccato beat on the knee draped across her leg, and perhaps it was overly sadistic of her but watching the look of pure rage seizing William's face was one of the most pleasurable things she'd experienced that entire week. "I shudder to think of the values your parents espoused, if you thought that was even remotely acceptable."

William shot out of his seat, abruptly, right hand curled at his side as if he were considering what kind of punch to throw. Before he could say anything to escalate the conflict, though, Cat barged in. "Really, Willy? You like hypocrisy so much that you're willing to pick a fight on the second session of anger management, which is basically the same thing you bitched at us for doing?"

The look on William's face as he snapped his attention to the shorter girl was positively murderous. Cat didn't seem to notice. Good , thought Akua. The boy's little tantrum was, after all, about as threatening as a baby sea otter when compared to the glares she routinely threw at Cat.

"She-"

Cat interrupted again. "Is the most annoying person to ever blight the halls of Ater U and quite possibly the entire world? I wholeheartedly agree." Akua, for her part, was doing her best to telepathically communicate to the other girl that they were, in fact, still fake dating. Just in case the other girl's lone neuron had somehow forgotten that in the span of two minutes.

"Her ridiculously aggravating personality isn't exactly an excuse, though," Cat continued. "I mean, she was being a real jackass to me too. No, that's not fair to donkeys. I guess I could just call her a grade-A asshole, but knowing her she'd manage to spin it into something fl–"

"Catherine, darling," Akua replied sweetly and not at all threateningly, "would you mind telling me where all of this is going?"

Cat coughed. "Right, well, what I was going to say is that despite her character flaws… her numerous character flaws… she is still my girlfriend and so I am still legally obligated to punch you in the face if you keep talking shit. No offence." She smiled winningly at William, who currently seemed less mad about the whole situation and more disgusted.



"You're fucking crazy," he finally settled on saying, before dropping back down into his seat with finality. "Both of you. Fucking insane. Guess you deserve each other."

On that cheerful note, Black walked back into the room with a freshly filled thermos. He looked at them, briefly, scanned their hostile postures and the palpable tension in the air. "You fought," he said. There was no room for debate in his tone; it was perfectly neutral, as if he were simply stating an elementary fact.

"Was it that obvious?" asked Cat wryly.

"Yes," Black replied. "Also, these walls aren't as thick as you seem to think." Then he put down the thermos at his desk, settled into his chair, and remained silent until the rest of the students had trickled in. Akua was moderately surprised to see that Kairos had voluntarily chosen to attend class for the second time, though she supposed it made sense in a twisted way. The boy was an attention leech, and during the two-hour blocks of anger management he had in essence a captive audience which he could offend as much as he wanted.

Once everyone was seated, Black stood up and took a sip from his thermos. "Do you know why you are here?" He asked mildly.

"'Cause we were mad?" guessed Nauk with a shrug.

"Incorrect," said Black. "Anger is a natural human emotion to experience, and attempting to suppress it entirely will likely result in you being sent to another mental health class. Try again."

"We're here because we were mad and we got caught ," drawled Kairos, feverish red eye glinting under a dark wave of curls. "That's it, isn't it? You bigwigs couldn't care less about our 'emotional turmoil' as long as we shut up and keep it to ourselves and don't make a fuss." He spread his arms out invitingly. "Am I wrong?"

To her complete and utter surprise, Akua agreed with him. Ultimately, appearances were all that mattered. As long as the persona was pristine, no one cared about whatever ugliness may lie beneath - she knew that firsthand. It was, after all, the core principle behind her 'relationship' with Catherine. Yes, if there was one thing that her mother had taught her, it was that the truth ceased being important when it ceased being useful.

"Not quite, Mr. Theodosian," Black calmly answered. "While it is true that the majority of you were assigned to this class because you acted out in public, that is only a symptom of a deeper problem. If I taught you all how to improve your poker faces, or perhaps how to use less provocative language, that might very well improve your outward demeanor. You may even be pleasant to be around. And yet, once the doors shut and you were back in the privacy of your own home, you would be no more mentally stable than how you started. In fact, without an outlet for your unsurmountable anger, you may turn to abusing drugs or alcohol or all those other petty vices out there."

Akua was absolutely certain that at least one person in the class was already abusing drugs and/or alcohol, but she wisely kept her mouth shut.

"Here is the truth." Black was fixing them with a hard stare, now. "Anger can be good. Every single one of the most successful people in the world has had a drive: an unceasing motivator that kept pushing them past what society considers normal, to the point of obsession, to the point where they would move the world or die trying. Anger can be this motivator. Is it the most healthy? No. I think it would probably be better to be fueled by the power of love. But not all of us are so inclined."

There was a smattering of laughter, but it quickly died out under the weight of Black's oppressive, unblinking gaze. Akua glanced over to her right to see how the other girl was taking the teacher's impromptu monologue, and interestingly enough Cat had the same expression as a math major being forced to retake second-grade multiplication: that was to say, she looked like she had already figured all this out a long time ago and was itching to tell Black exactly that. This wasn't groundbreaking new information for either of them, Akua thought dismissively. The Wendy's incident was proof enough of how potent a motivator anger could be.

"We all want to change something," said Black quietly. "It doesn't have to be society or the government or other people. It can be as simple as wanting to change your own life. And you know what anger is?" He paused for a split-second, long enough to get the effect across but not long enough for Kairos to interrupt, before continuing. "Anger is a catalyst . The catalyst for negative things, usually, but it does not have to be that way. Not for you. The underlying issue, you see, is that you have difficulty channeling your anger into productive means. That is what I will be attempting to teach. And if I succeed, well, I think the world will be seeing great things from each of you."

"I think I understand what you are trying to say," Anaxares spoke up slowly, looking deeply contemplative. "Our anger is not efficient. It merely lands us here: confined by the corrupt institution of education to yet another time-wasting activity. If we were able to focus our iron resolve into one goal without distractions, ours would be a force utterly unstoppable. The vile despots would have no chance."

"Quite right, Mr. Anaxares," nodded Black. "There are very, very few things in this world comparable to the might of one person with sufficient motivation." And she might have hallucinated it but Akua thought that, for a split-second, he was looking directly at her and Catherine. Then the moment was shattered, and he turned back to the rest of the group.

A small, cold smile crawled onto Black's face. "Now then," he said. "Shall we begin?"

…

Once the class was over, Akua cornered Cat for the second time - honestly, it was going to become a habit at this rate - and tugged her by the wrist into an empty classroom. The second the door clicked shut, the other girl shot her an irritated glare and yanked away her hand.

"What do you want, Sahelian? Aren't we supposed to tell Black that we're dating or something right about now?"

"First of all, quiet down. You heard Black say that he could hear us from outside, right? So what makes you think he can't hear us now? Secondly, you don't get to call me by my last name if I can't call you by yours. It's that thing you like so much - you know, equality? And thirdly, absolutely not! "

Cat frowned. "Hey, if you're planning on saying ‘sike’ right now, it's a little bit too late for that alright? I did not put myself through the humiliation of pretending to date you only for you to-"

"The plan is not called off," Akua snapped. "It has, however, been postponed due to your crippling inability to act ."

"Excuse me?"

"Request denied," replied Akua flatly. "You are quite possibly the worst actor I know, and I've had to tolerate people sucking up to me since I was a child. Until we can scrape together enough chemistry to actually make this somewhat believable, I refuse to confront Black. If we tried it right now, he'd just laugh us out of the room." Even that ridiculous kiss wouldn't be enough to convince him, she added silently.

"The way you say it makes it sound like you think we can just generate 'chemistry' from thin air." Cat rolled her eyes and crossed her arms with the kind of condescending air one would usually reserve for explaining a very basic concept to a toddler. "I hate to break it to you, but that's not really how relationships work. I don't exactly need a horoscope to know we're not compatible."

"What are you not understanding about this? We don't need to be compatible, moron, we just need to get better at pretending that we are. And yes, I include myself in that descriptor because even I can admit that I could be better at hiding how completely intolerable I find you."

"Love you too, darling," Cat said sardonically. "Alright, then, what genius plan have you concocted to improve our lackluster acting skills?"

" Your lackluster acting skills," Akua corrected. "I only said that I could be better at hiding my opinion of you, not that I'm not already doing a fantastic job. Now, I wouldn't say my plan is particularly brilliant, but it's still leagues ahead of just floundering about and hoping Black's awareness skills will miraculously plummet whenever he sees us. Here's how it goes…"

...

Three hours later, outside a small, up-scale movie theater.

"What the fuck is this?"

Before she answered the rather crass question, Akua took a moment to look over her date. She allowed a certain detached satisfaction to burn through her chest at the sight: she'd instructed Catherine via text to dress up as nicely as she possibly could without resorting to actual black-tie fashion, and the results were… satisfactory. She'd chosen an unpretentious yet classic white button-up, black slacks, and a long woolen overcoat over polished leather boots. It was probably fake leather, considering Cat's modest income, but it looked decent enough all the same.

"It's a movie theater," Akua finally replied, considering whether or not to show that she was pleased with the way the other girl had chosen to dress. "You do know what that is, don't you?" A moment passed. "Also, you look acceptable," she added, not at all awkwardly. Catherine seemed very much like a positive reinforcement type, so the compliment should serve well enough as an olive branch.

"No, in my twenty entire years of life I have never seen or heard of such a thing," Cat said flatly. " Of course I know what a movie theater is. I just don't go to them, much less theaters like… this," she concluded vaguely, waving an arm toward where bright blinking strobe lights spelled out the words 'LUXURY CINEMA'. "And thank you. My biggest dream ever since I was a little kid was to be acknowledged as 'acceptable looking' by a spoiled rich girl. Finally, I can die happy."

Akua decided to do what she very frequently did when Catherine was talking and simply ignored the parts of the other girl's answer that she didn't like. "Why don't you go to theaters?" she asked instead, walking up the broad, carpeted steps to the double doors of the cinema.

Cat stopped abruptly and tugged Akua closer until their faces were less than an inch apart. With Cat standing on the step above her, they were almost eye-level; incomprehensibly, Akua felt a dizzying burst of deja vu. The last time they were this close - hurriedly, she crammed the thought into the deepest corners of her mind. It was just in time for Catherine to start talking.

"Since we're fake dating, I need to tell you something very important about me," she said very seriously, her voice a low, urgent whisper. "I have never, in my life, paid for a Hollywood movie that I could pirate."

"God, you're incorrigible," said Akua with disgust, jerking away from the other girl. "Don't you think the studio's efforts should be financially compensated?"

"Disney can suck my dick," Cat replied dismissively, letting go of Akua and striding up the stairs. "Now hurry up, I want to see how shitty your taste in movies is."

…

"This is… a goddamn… Powerman movie." Cat said the words very slowly, syllable by syllable, as if she could barely understand the sounds her own mouth was making.

"I suppose it is," Her date primly responded.

"Akua whatever-the-fuck-your-middle-name-is Sahelian, literally what was going through that thick skull of yours when you decided to pay actual physical money to watch this garbage?"

Akua glanced at the screen, where the words Powerman 2: Fight Against The Forces Of Evil were emblazoned in garish font across some spandex-clad superhero's chiseled pecs. "I thought you'd like it," she said neutrally, distinctly not showing that she was mildly offended by Catherine's less-than-overjoyed reaction. She'd actually spent a significant amount of time trying to piece together what the other girl might want to watch, though apparently she was horrifically wrong.

"Please tell me exactly what I did to imply that I might even tolerate this kind of movie, so that I can make sure to never do it again in my life."

"Believe it or not, Catherine, I don't know every detail of your personal preferences," Akua said irritatedly. "I know you appreciate fighting, and watching things being set on fire, and the arbitrary concept of justice. I simply attempted to find a movie that satisfied all three."

Cat groaned and slapped a hand lightly against her face, but didn't push the matter further. "I guess I won't die if I have to sit here watching Mr. Six Pack save damsels in distress for two hours," she grudgingly conceded. "Still, I better have a drink with me if I do." As she got up from her seat, Akua tossed her a single crisply folded hundred-dollar bill.

"If you're going to leave, get me a-"

"Salad?" Cat interrupted drily.

"A large bucket of popcorn ," Akua corrected. "And a bottle of water."

Cat smirked. "And what are you supposed to say after you ask for something?"

"Go fuck yourself?" Akua offered.

"Hmm, not quite. Try again."

Akua rolled her eyes and said, as sweetly as she possibly could, "Please, dearest, heart of my heart, love of my life, would you deign to collect the refreshments that I'm so generously paying for?"

" That's better."