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Everyone's got an opinion on Nigel Farage's latest work. Amazon now has over 300 reviews - equally distributed between one and five star ratings, from his friends and foes.

But none of them seem to have actually READ it. You can tell because they don't have the verified purchase tick.

We thought it was only fair if we bought the damn thing. See it as penance.

Here's what we learned:

1. He credits YouTube for his rise!

Actually this is an interesting point against the grain of the media's obsession with social media - maybe we all should be doing more with YouTube instead of mucking around with Meerkat or whatever is the flavour of the week.

2. It's UKIP councillors who say the bad things, not the higher-ups

So that's ok then!

3. Maybe women are a blind spot for him, he mentions boy (28) far more often than girl (6)

4. True to his brand values he mentions smoking 11 times and fags 4

5. But is he really as keen on beer as he says?

Farage mentions "pint" 13 times, but he also talks about "wine" a comparable 10 times.

6. He's eaten at least three curries

Man of the people.

7. Farage mentions David Cameron 45 times

To compare, he only mentions where he's standing (in Thanet) 35 times. Is this evidence he's more interested in the UK political mainstream than the local issues of where he seeks to represent?

8. Is Nigel obsessed with Nick Clegg?

He mentions Clegg (35) twice as often as Ed Miliband (16).

9. He even opens the book with an anecdote about Clegg

Strong opener, Nige.

Also kind of weird that the first two paragraphs are confusing about whether we're reading about Nigel or lovely Nick. Maybe he fantasises about being the Tories' new junior partner?

10. He bangs on about Europe a fair bit

152 mentions. Yawn, no surprises.

11. But blimey - an odd turn here, he complains about HIV charity the Terrence Higgins Trust

Apparently Sam Cameron is to blame for the Terrence Higgins Trust causing the AIDS health tourism, or something.

12. 31 mentions for immigration, 10 for racism

Because you're NOT ALLOWED TO HAVE A DEBATE ABOUT THIS STUFF!

13. Because it's all about the 'banter' with Nigel

14. He distances himself from Britain's most famous fascist by pointing out that Mosley was pro-Europe

The old "we differ on the important issue of Europe" ruse eh?

15. To be honest, we're getting a bit bored by now

We started zooming in on the cover to try and crop his name into a new nickname - well, maybe if he was a football manager...

16. And finally, dedicates the whole book to his 'long-suffering family'

No apologies to this long-suffering reader?

(Apologies to you, our long-suffering reader)