UHNW & HNW Women

17 Aspects Of Yourself That As An Affluent Woman You Do Not Have To Be Ashamed Of

Living in affluence does not mean following or obeying the mainstream tribe of affluence. It means embracing YOUR difference & dealing with the calling of abundance from day to day.

Join today’s conversation on why you as an Ultra High Net Worth (UHNW), High Net Worth (HNW) or affluent professional woman should look carefully at your situation and take the most appropriate risks that you feel you would be able to handle. Time is of the essence for you. You want to achieve as much as possible as the years fly by. You are getting older and you feel there is still so much that you want to do before your time is up.

Mingled into this are the expectations of others. The others who are YOUR life partner (husband, fiance, boyfriend, gentleman friend, wife, girlfriend, lover, lady friend). The others who are YOUR family (near and distant, bloodline and step family). The others who are YOUR ‘friends’. The others who are YOUR colleagues. The others who are stakeholders in YOUR life.

You are an UHNW, HNW or affluent professional woman and you have experienced a myriad of life trials and tribulations. You have been through levels of hate, stress, anger, self loathing, emotional upheaval, tears and tantrums. You have also danced along your life journey in the giddiness of joy, happiness, affection, glee, love, elation and adoration.

So, you are what you are and that is an affluent woman. You are shy or an introvert. Perhaps with low level autism. You live in an affluent home. You live an affluent lifestyle. You have weight fluctuations. You have dietary impulses. You have relationship quandaries. Yet right now; today, there are people that feel that you should be ashamed of how you gained your wealth, or that you should be ashamed of wanting to be affluent and living how you do. The truth is that, you feel no shame in wanting to better your life through position and money. You have paid your dues and now you are receiving the payback. If anyone objects to that, then that is their problem not yours. You have enough of your own life issues to manage and are not interested in carrying the burdens of others who think little of you, demoralise you or demonise you for wanting better for yourself.

Affluent professional women, HNW Women and UHNW Women who are from poor or humble backgrounds, who are a product of different ethnic backgrounds, who are women of colour, who are much older/younger, who are rotund, who are of different religious persuasions, who are deemed as ‘not pretty’, who are thought of as too foreign, are continually perceived as being not business worthy enough to be engaged with from the elitist, Westernised, blonde, blue eyed variety of social groups. In addition to this, these incredibly beautiful (inside and out), smart and sassy women are perceived as being obstinately reserved and disagreeable simply because they refuse to be disrespected, mistreated or taken for granted by societies that still see them as lower class citizens in the hierarchy of Who’s Who.

With reference to my own clients, affluent friends and other consultants who help women entrepreneurs, the following is a collection of information that redresses the importance of these incredible women that refuse to be demoralised and disrespected by the usual suspects of same old, same old elitist business wo/men who look down on these incredible cultural, affluent professional women. This default to look down on others who are culturally different is a sign of an insecurity.

So here we go...

17 Aspects Of Yourself That As An Affluent Woman You Do Not Have To Be Ashamed Of

Women make up 50% of the world’s society. From birth, daughters are seen as second best to sons. Even to this day, men who impregnate women expect a son (Did you know that it is from the male gene that determines if a woman has a son or not? It has nothing to do with the woman) and, women who bear sons parade them as though they were trophies. Women are supposed to take the role of carers at the sacrifice of their education, career and their self of being. Women are supposed to be subservient, obeying, cosmetic, empty headed and penitent. To live in circumstances beyond their control. Is that how you are living your life? What about the aspects of you that simply happen naturally. Aspects of you as a woman that states:

1. “I am a woman and I have an inclination to place myself first before all else and to be of equal measure to others.”

There is an assertion amongst men that women are subservient, even if a woman is educated and makes her own money. Especially if the woman in questions happens to be of a mature age, foreign and/or non Caucasian. There are many so-called businessmen who are reluctant and reticent to enter into dialogue and initiate partnerships with businesswomen who are women of colour. Their business lose is someone else’s business gain.

2. “I am a woman and I do not have to wear my face painted, wear high heels, or wear a fancy hair style every single day in order to get myself noticed and receive some sort of appreciation from others in society.”

Yes. There are women who cannot leave their home without having some sort of make up upon their face, or wearing stilettos, or having their hair set in an expected Westernised style. Yet, there are a growing army of affluent, professional and business women who are presenting themselves in their own style. Whether that means wearing the minimum or no make up on their face, wearing flat or practical footwear, or wearing their hair in a style that represents their individuality; dreadlocks, braids/plaits, natural curls, afro, asymmetrically cut, wearing a headscarf or other cultural headwear. There are a majority of men and brainwashed women who continue to believe that it is the duty of women such as you to conform to look as a Stepford Wife and comport yourself as such at all types of events and locations. Where showing your individuality and cultural aspect of yourself is severally frowned upon and not good for business, or even as a consideration for an invitation to the inclusion of a certain social network. The question that you must ask yourself is this, “Do I really care about such people and such invitations?”

3. “I am a woman and I have bodily functions. Sometimes those bodily functions need 15 minutes to clear from the air.”

I once worked with a friend who had that cute little girl lost look. She was blonde, petite and she had that ‘English Rose’ look about her. Her parents were landowners and she had no compassion to stay working and learning about her family’s land. She wanted to experience working in the city and meet city people. This is how I met her, in our late teens during Summer holidays and out of college hours we had been accepted to work within one of London’s top department stores, namely, Harrods. This is when the store still had the patronage of the British royal family. When the store moved into the hands of Muslim owners their patronage ceased. Anyway, getting back to the point of this particular section, this new friend that I had met had started to confide in me; as soon as we were paired with each other during training, of her situation with the man that she was dating. She was dating this older man who was managing a few singers/bands. During her stay at his flat, one morning she left the bed to go to the lavatory. Upon her return to the bedroom this partner of hers said to her “I am sure that when you do a shit that it drops with pretty ribbons.” What is a woman supposed to say to that personal remark?

Whether someone sees you as an English Rose, a Caribbean Rose, an Asian Rose or a tough old Cactus, your bodily function can be stronger than that of a man. There is no shame in this, it is just what it is. Your body functioning well to do what it needs to do in order to maintain itself.

4. “I am a woman and the size of my breasts is of completely no importance to anyone else but to me. WTF!”

There are just some men and women in business who will treat you differently from their judgment of you with reference to the size of your breasts. There is nothing coherent about this type of behaviour. What the size of your breasts is measured at has nothing to do with your ability to hold a business meeting, to add input to discussions, to formulate a partnership or contractual document.

5. “I am a woman and the size of my nose is of no importance to anyone else but to me.”

Your nose is there to enable you to breathe. To inhale and to exhale air. The size of your nose has nothing to do with your ability to hold an event, to add input to discussions, to conclude a partnership or contractual document. There are affluent people and people in the business world who will look upon this particular facial feature of yours and jest about it behind your back, or embarrass you in present company. This school playground antic from others is a sign to you that you have to be aware of such people, as it concerns the worthiness and calibre of the individual concerned and how they manipulate situations.

6. “I am a woman and the size of my lips/mouth is absolutely of no importance to anyone else but to me. So piss off!”

Your lips are where they are and how they are from since birth. Unless you have had them surgically enhanced. You are educated, you are a professional, you are affluent, yet there are men and women that you come into contact with as you go about your daily business that will form a judgement on you based upon the size of your lips/mouth. Those of you with very small mouths, or thin to no lips will be mocked mercilessly as those with full rounded lips, by others who hold no value or worth to your existence. Why the size of your lips/mouth should matter in professional and social interactions is a mystery to most people. The size of your lips has no bearing on your ability to conduct business and, it has no bearing on your ability to engage gracefully at social events. Anyone who feels that it does can piss off.

7. “I am a woman and the greying of my hair is of no importance to anyone else but to me.”

When a woman starts to show greying hair in her younger years people tend to start adding extra years to her. Plus, think that there is something wrong with her health. The thought process is that she must be old because she has grey hair. There are many women who are prematurely going grey early in life.

When you are being introduced to people for professional, business and social reasons people look at you strangely as your face, skin and body language looks relatively young, but your hair has them flummoxed because it is grey. Grey means elderly. Grey means menopausal. Grey means passed it. Businessmen do not take you seriously unless you are dressed in the most exquisite and expensive suits, your perfume reeks of class and, your hair looks as though it was styled by a top French stylist. Businessmen and society women have the audacity to pity you because you have the onslaught of greying hair at an early age instead of a luxurious flow of silky, healthy, youthful dark, auburn or golden hair.

There are even some business wo/men and HNWI who believe that it is a disease that you have and do not want to stand too close to you in case they catch something off you. There are groups of people for whom no matter how educated and affluent that they have become, are thick as shit.

8. “I am a woman and the condition of my skin is my business, not yours.”

With the temperature fluctuations of the changing seasons your skin has to manage the affects of the weather upon it. Various climates bring your skin out in a rash of varying degrees. For instance, your skin begins to peel when exposed to cold weather for too long. Perhaps; even at an older age, you still have spots popping up on your face. The facial cleansing routine that you used as a child and as a young adult are no longer holding true for you. You are affluent so you can afford a facial specialist to treat your skin weekly. But not everyone who lives an affluent lifestyle wants to spend their money that way. Some women simply prefer to do this aspect of their facial regime themselves. So whatever your facial regime is to help you manage your skin, it is your business and yours alone. Only when you ask someone specifically for guidance, that is when it involves the business of someone else.

9. “I am a woman and the size of my feet is of no importance to anyone else but to me.”

So you wear size 10 shoes. And??? You are an affluent, professional woman and you need the most appropriate footwear for your feet in order for you to do your job well. Just because you wear a larger shoe size does not detract from the fact that you are a successful professional or businesswoman. You worked long and hard to get to this stage of your life. No idiot who has the gall to call you Big Foot at a business event is going to stop you becoming even more successful and wealthy. It is due to the fact that you are a professional and affluent woman that disturbs such people, so their line of defence is to offend you and make you feel worthless by bullying you into submission. Your footwear is expensive and tasteful because the standard range is not good enough for you. In essence ‘standard’ does not cater well for you.

10. “I am a woman and the size of my waistline is of no importance to anyone else but to me.”

You are an affluent woman and you have the ability to live luxuriously. Your affluence has increased your waistline. It is an increase that you can either live with or of you choose to, do something about. In some cultures a large woman equates to a wealthy lifestyle. A large woman equates to being prosperous. A large woman equates to plentiful, bountiful, abundance and fertile. In truth it does not really matter what other people equate to the size of your waistband, it is what you feel about yourself that matters. Being a skinny Minnie is not what you strive to be. And, yes, there are women who will flaunt their skinny arse ahead of you at social events. Just as there are men who somehow believe that you will be charmed by them because they are showing you attention and your well earned money will flow into their direction. Having an expanding waistline does not make you brain dead or blind to the antics of others.

11. “I am a woman and my self-reliance is important to me.”

Give yourself the respect that you deserve. You really are an affluent professional woman, a HNW Woman, an UHNW Woman, a businesswoman with heartfelt intentions and a sense of awareness to propel your momentum towards self-reliance and empowerment. You have worked incredibly hard to get to where you are now. Your tenacity to get to this stage of your life and reap the rewards as an independent woman is to be applauded. Other women would have given up years ago, as what you had to go through to reach this level in your life would have been too stressful for them. You are an independent woman and you do not have to justify anything to anyone. Especially your desire of wanting to pull yourself up by your own boot straps, in whatever way that had manifested itself. There will always be persons who want to slow down or abuse your independence. Just as there will be persons who align with you and want to help your journey. You have the streetwise sassiness to sniff out the bullshitters, the groupies and the lechers, who are only in your life to abuse you financially and emotionally. You did not get this far in life without picking up a few scars and learning along the way. Life had taught you well and kept you on your toes. So go on, give yourself the respect that you deserve. You have earned it. You do not need to justify yourself to anyone.

12. “I am a woman and there are times when I want to go ‘au naturel’ when I am doing my thing”

As already mentioned before, there are times when you want your face to go nude, make up free and, feel the wind, rain and sun upon your face. You are not ashamed of letting the dark circles around/under your eyes show, pimples, scars, blemishes and any other facial disfigurement become visible in public. You just want your face to feel uncluttered once in a while. In fact, you like that feeling of freedom that you will do it more than once in a while. This includes having the ‘au naturel’ look at professional meetings and social events. There is no reason why you should hide yourself under layers of face paint every single day, just so that other people can accept you through their perception of who they imagine you to be, including their impression of what other women should aim at, in looking presentable in the public domain.

13. “I am an affluent, professional, Alpha female and I am happy with that even if you are not.”

This is such a touchy and heated subject for many men and women in moneyed circles and in business. So you are an Alpha female, which means that you are the highest ranked or most dominant woman in your area of expertise, at your office, in your profession, in certain social circles and in your private life. Many men and women feel threatened by your position and the perceived power that you have. Women in their view should not be allowed to have such prominence. The train if thought goes that if you come from a poor, humble or culturally different background that you should have that Alpha tag stripped off you as soon as possible and it should only be given to men. Caucasian men. Specifically, blonde, blue eyed, tall, ‘handsome’ men who come from an established family lineage. Women are undeserving of being hailed as Alpha in a professional and business environment. You are an Alpha female and you know what you want.

14. “I am an affluent woman and there are times when I want to let my hair down with other female friends in complete privacy.”

Yes. You are a woman. A hard nosed business woman at times. An unflinching professional woman on occasions. An outspoken woman at public events even. Then there are the times when you want to do things that are characteristic of girls, young women and traditionally feminine. You crave to be in the company of other professional, affluent, businesswomen who like to let their hair down once in a blue moon. No prying eyes. No gutter press photographers. No kiss and tell stories. You like being a female and you like having those female chats with other like-minded females. There is nothing wrong with that.

Never rationalise those feelings of wanting to be with your female tribe, every once in a blue moon. It is just how it is.

15. “I am a woman and the desire to have children is not there.”

So here’s the thing. There are a particular set of women who do nothing but want to talk about their children and their home life. A life that to them is perfect and nothing else could be better. That being a mother is all that matters in life and that is the idyll. To you, these women gather up and show the most boring; boring to you at least, endless streams of children photographs that you have no connection to, or indeed interest in.

Then there are the professional and business women who have a child or two and seem able to compartmentalise their motherhood and their business life so that you can engage with them on a professional level.

Lastly, there are the professional and businesswomen who have absolutely no desire whatsoever to enter into motherhood. That living their life and dong everything that they want to do; child free, is essential to them and their well-being. Bearing children does not figure in the grand scheme of things. The responsibility of children is not for them to carry. Your biological clock can tick merrily away and as it ticks you are dancing pretty. Doing what you want to do, without tripping over baby and children paraphernalia.

There are men and women who will look pitifully upon you and be the first to make judgement on your state of health. A poor state of health; in their eyes and summation, that is not allowing you to procreate and join the motherhood tribe that you were supposed to join forces with.

16. “I am a woman and my accent/dialect is a part of my identity and is of no concern to anyone else but to me.”

Perhaps you come from a village, town or city with a distinctive dialect. Or a country with a distinctive accent. Whatever the location, how you sound to others is unique to you within the package that is you. As you travel nationally and internationally you will pick up new ways of speaking and languages. This merely adds to your repertoire as a professional affluent woman. You shall come across persons who dislike certain dialects/accents. Just as there are dialects/accents that you dislike. Your dialect/accent and the way that you speak is a part of your growing identity and people will be attracted to you because of it, or repulsed by you due to it. Swings and roundabouts. Either way, your dialect/accent and the way that you speak has enabled you to get to where you are today.

17. “I am an affluent, professional, woman and I like being me, in my skin.”

What more can you say! You just like being you. In your skin. Looking as you do. Doing what you do. Making the journey that you make. How sweet and satisfying is that.

These are just 17; I know it is a bit of an odd number for a list, things that women such as you should not have to defend or explain about yourself to anyone.





Make no apology for your life as an affluent professional woman

If you are feeling ‘so-so’, or, not coping well during this Northern Hemisphere Winter season as you head into the mish-mash of festivities and invitations that have already commenced, through having risen within the status of being a HNW, UHNW or affluent professional woman; in addition to handling being 'different' as your place in society changes, drop this British lady an email. At this time of the year how are you feeling about the relationship with your own Self? The most important relationship in your life. How is that going? Write to me.

“Ladies if it is getting hard for you managing your lifestyle, contact me. Come and contact me . I am here for you.” Now that you are here with me ask. Simply ask. Jay at RISE for women coaching. Enable your upper hand to provide for you when you click on the RISE button in your life.