I don’t have a mom anymore. Trump stole her.

In 2017, she refused to come to my wedding in Baltimore. Two years later, when I walked across the stage to celebrate the completion of nine years of graduate school and earn a PhD, her chair stood empty. My messages to her on Facebook remain unanswered. Apparently she read them, because six months ago I received a box of all the childhood photos and elementary school records she kept – along with all the gifts I had given her over the past two decades. The box didn’t contain a note.

What did I do to merit such a punishment? I yelled at her about her vote for Trump. But let’s back up.

I mentioned I was a scholar, right? I specifically study American companies and their relationship to Nazi Germany and the Holocaust. When my mom and I were still on speaking terms, I would tell her about the implications of my research. I’d try to explain to her the dangers of racist populism, demagoguery, and corporate corruption, which could lead America down the destructive path once walked by Europe. I knew she watched Fox News. I had no illusions she would get accurate information elsewhere, but at least she could hear an informed perspective from her own son.

When 2015 came around, I started getting harassed by racist, Trump-supporting trolls on social media. Twitter is not a hospitable place for many groups of people, including Jewish folks like me who are outspoken about the Holocaust and its warnings. I’d send screenshots of this harassment to my mom. They’d send swastikas and pictures of me in gas chambers. “When Trump is elected, you’re finished,” they’d tweet.

My mom wasn’t particularly observant, but she grew up raised by a Jewish aunt and uncle. I figured if reasoned historical perspective backed up by research didn’t move her, maybe direct threats to her son might. She would express concern for me personally, but ignore my pleas not to support the candidate that inspired the abusive bigots who regularly sent hate in my direction.

Donald Trump says he could 'wipe out' Afghanistan: 'I could win that war in a week'

Not long after the 2016 election, my mother informed me that she voted for Trump. I exploded. I told her she’d given in to ignorance and bigotry and that she’d callously ignored my warnings. I immediately regretted losing my temper. Despite having a deep sense of sadness, frustration, and anger about what might come next for America, I sent my mom emails apologizing profusely.

I mean, she’s still my mom.

She answered my calls, letters, and social media messages with stony silence.

So now I’m out in the world trying to make it as a historian without my mother’s blessings or support. It’s not easy out there. Perhaps my mom was right when she derided my career choice. Turns out, job openings in my field have been cut in half since I started graduate school a decade ago. In a very real way, we can watch Americans turn away from history. Of course, at parties I’d always be told that my work on American businessmen and their collaboration with the Nazi regime was terribly relevant. I regret to say that I carry the debts of this labor without a job to show for it. This relevance hasn’t panned out in Trump’s America. I suppose none of us, including me, should be surprised.

Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam Show all 30 1 /30 Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam Members of the Proud Boys, a fascist group, jeer at anti-Trump protesters outside of the president's 2020 campaign launch in Orlando, Florida Getty Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam A supporter dressed as Uncle Sam poses at Uncle Sam Reuters Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam A baby blimp rears its head amidst a group of anti-Trump protesters outside the president't campaign launch in Orlando, Florida Getty Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam President Trump addresses supporters at the launch event of his 2020 election campaign in Orlando, Florida Reuters Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam Proud Boys have adopted Fred Perry polo shirts as their uniform and 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Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam A Proud Boy shouts across the police line at anti-Trump protesters outside the president's campaign launch in Orlando, Florida Getty Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam A Trump supporter poses for a photo at the president's 2020 campaign launch in Orlando, Florida Reuters Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam A Proud Boy jeers at anti-Trump protesters who are separated from the president's supporters by a police line outside the president's campaign launch in Orlando, Florida Getty Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam A man dressed as Uncle Sam poses at President Trump's 2020 campaign launch in Orlando, Florida Reuters Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam An anti-Trump protester faces off against a supporter outside the president's campaign launch in Orlando, Florida AFP/Getty Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam Members of the Proud Boys, a fascist group, jeer at anti-Trump protesters outside of the president's 2020 campaign launch Getty Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam A child holds a 2020 US "dollar bill" that features Donald Trump's face at the president's 2020 campaign launch EPA Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam Anti-Trump protesters rally outside the president's 2020 campaign launch in Orlando, Florida Getty Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam Anti-Trump protesters rally outside the president's 2020 campaign launch in Orlando, Florida Getty Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam Numerous baby Trump balloons are raised in protests outside of the president's 2020 campaign launch in Orlando, Florida Getty Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam A supporter wears a T-shirt depicting Trump as a hero at the president's 2020 campaign launch in Orlando, Florida Reuters Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam President Trump addresses supporters at the launch event of his 2020 election campaign in the Amway Centre in Orlando, Florida AFP/Getty Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam An anti-Trump protester calls for the president to be impeached outside the launch event for his 2020 campaign launch in Orlando, Florida Getty Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam Supporters of Donald Trump face off against protesters outside of the president's 2020 campaign launch in Orlando, Florida AP Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam A baby blimp rises behind a group of anti-Trump protesters outside the president's campaign launch in Orlando, Florida AP Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam A supporter dressed as Uncle Sam poses at President Trump's 2020 campaign launch in Orlando, Florida AP Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam A member of the Proud Boys, a fascist group, holds a sign up outside of the president's 2020 campaign launch in Orlando, Florida AFP/Getty Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam A supporter bears a Trump flag at the president's 2020 campaign launch in Orlando, Florida Reuters Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam Protesters hold baby Trump balloons in the rally outside of the president's 2020 campaign launch in Orlando, Florida Getty Trump 2020 launch: Fascist Proud Boys, baby blimps and Uncle Sam An anti-Trump protester holds a sign accusing the president of being a traitor Getty

I always hope maybe my mom will see something I’ve written and answer – maybe her reply would replace the sneering, dismissive, voice I hear on repeat in my head. This is the first time I’ve addressed her directly in public, so I’ll just say this:

Hi Mom. I hope you’re well and taking care of yourself. I’m hanging in there. You raised a resilient adult as many of us have to be these days. I hoped we wouldn’t have to learn the lessons of history so acutely, but I still hope for the best while I prepare for the worst. I hope one day you’ll see Trumpism as a destructive force; even if you only consider its damage on our own family. Your son misses you. America misses you, too.

Love,