“Our founding fathers knew that if we went this direction, there was no more moral compass and you won’t be able to explain to your children — you’ll have to face the fact that we lost holding the line on one of the most principle issues in the Bible, and that is sex is not about fun,” he remarked. “If you want to have fun, read a book, go to a movie. Sex is about the procreation of children. It’s a sacred responsibility that is meant by God to have men and women commit their lifetime to children.”

Oh, conservative crackpots, is there no conspiracy theory you can't duct-tape to the unwilling corpses of The Founding Fathers? Jerome Corsi, who is one of the battiest bats ever to fly from a cave, says that same-sex marriage is a plot to allow government to crack down on Christians. He knows this because America's founding fathers knew that sex is not supposed to be fun, or something I'm intrigued by this recurring notion that some people's "moral compass" exists only so long as other consenting adults are not allowed to do certain things with their naughty bits. I'm also intrigued by Jerome Corsi asserting that "sex is not about fun," but that is such a gigantic target that I'm going to walk right the hell past it, leaving it to the next fellow to shoot in the face.

You know, I'm as big a fan of the ol' founding fathers as the next person, but I don't own slaves just because they did, or have a jar of medicinal leeches on hand, or feel the need to preface my every irrelevant opinion with "as our founding fathers knew," as in "as our founding fathers knew, broccoli doesn't taste very good" or "as our founding fathers knew, Phoenix, Arizona, is an unlivable hellhole." You really have to space those claims out a little more, lest "as our founding fathers knew" begin to look—perish the thought—like nothing more than cheap rhetorical padding.