Ariane Garner-Williams and her fiance Chad Collins. Credit:Pat Scala It also means, like many people with physical disabilities, she has relied on assistance in the past to lead a normal adult sexual life; including help getting undressed before hopping into bed with her boyfriend at the time (who also had a physical disability). "There's this idea that we're not allowed to have sex, that it's gross," says Ariane. "But if a person without disabilities decides they want to go home and watch porn and jerk off, that's just considered their prerogative. We may not be able to manage everything ourselves but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be able to experience it." How people with physical disabilities can be supported to express their sexuality and pursue adult sexual lives - emotional or physical - is the focus of research at Deakin University.

Clients might want to go on dates, organise sex workers or watch pornography, says researcher Dr Russell Shuttleworth. And so they need help with organising transport, undressing, even physical positioning before intimacy. Currently there is little guidance for clients and their support workers on how to negotiate sexual facilitation that is comfortable for both. Guidelines about sex and intimacy are very broad, say Dr Shuttleworth. Ariane was bullied at high school, not by fellows students but her classroom aides; one told her she should be wearing nappies, another said her bust was so large the boys were "staring at her". Their cruelty triggered a spiral into depression, but she has regained the confidence to talk about her sex life with support workers.

Ariane lives with her fiance, Chad Collins, and her sister, and has a support worker, Carina, four days a week. Carina is very matter-of-fact about her role in sexual facilitation, though now that Ariane has a fiance who is not physically disabled, she does not need assistance. "I am here to support the person live the life they want to choose. I'm okay with most duties that are asked of me, as long as it's comfortable for other person as well," says Carina. Carina has taken her clients to a brothel and also assisted them into bed before intimacy. But it can be a minefield, she says, with support workers worried that if they "do it the wrong way" they will get fired or charged with sexual offences. And clients with disabilities are vulnerable to predators.

Her employer, the Cerebral Palsy Support Network, has clear policies but is also adaptive to an individual client's needs, she says. Researchers hope the study will result in new, clear guidelines, that detail the "nitty gritty", Dr Shuttleworth says. And sexual facilitation is very different to providing sexual services, points out co-researcher Dr George Taleporos. Some carer organisations are so concerned their workers will be seen as predatory they avoid the topic all together. "Failure to do so only serves to force this topic underground, where the risks of exploitation and abuse of both people with disabilities and support workers are increased," Dr Taleporos says. In the National Disability Insurance Scheme, clients will be able to choose their own supports, he said.

"We need to recognise that people will choose to use their supports to express their sexuality and to establish and maintain sexual relationships" Deakin researchers are looking for more participants in their study. If you are interested, you can find out more here. You can also find more social affairs stories from Miki Perkins if you follow her on Facebook