I lost my virginity at age 17.

Since then, I’ve slept with over 40 men and one woman. And out of all my partners, only one was younger than me.

To state the obvious, I have a thing for dating older men. Sure, I’ve had a few boyfriends around my age (Hi Peter! Hi Derek!), but they never stole my breath like the older ones did.

Hell, I even married — and later divorced — a man 17 years my senior (Oh hey Steve).

It’s fair to say I’m a bit biased when it comes to age gap relationships. You see, dating an older man has its benefits. Of course, you still get the crazy wack-jobs that you see in every age group, but generally speaking, older men offer a different perspective into dating.

That’s why I recommend that women shouldn’t overlook a man strictly because of his age. Because you never know if the best lover of your life is waiting behind those grey hairs, wrinkles, and pleated slacks.

So, Why Are Older Men Better?

When I tell my friends about my past lovers, I see a wave of disgust float across their faces.

Don’t they have saggy balls? Don’t they need viagra? Don’t they eat dinner at 4pm in front of Wheel of Fortune?

Well, the answers are: Nope. Sometimes. And dear God I hope not.

Despite the cliche, men really do age like a fine red wine. Their flavor becomes more complex, deep — and in the best scenarios — a whole lot richer.

But in reality, there are plenty of attractive characteristics that come with age.

They’re Generous Lovers

Sure, younger men tend to have more stamina. Some are just bonkers and can pound you like a jackhammer for hours. But if I wanted my poor, sweet vagina to be prodded and terrorized, I’d be spread-eagle on the gynecologist table every night of the week.

On the other hand, older men take their time. They’re less focused on getting you undressed as fast as humanly possible. Not only can they unclasp a bra without a struggle, but they also don’t giggle when they see boobies.

Because to most older men, sex isn’t about ejaculation. It’s not even about foreplay. It’s about seduction. And seduction is something that begins way before you enter the bedroom.

The female body isn’t just another notch on the bedpost. It’s a treasure. It has it’s own needs and deserves to be pleased beyond a fast fingerbang or nipple suck.

And the truth is, it takes years or even decades for most men to understand this. It takes sexual experiences and failures and past lovers to learn exactly what it takes to become a good lover.

Don’t get me wrong — I’m not saying that all men above age 30 or 40 are excellent lays. Most definitely not. But chances are, your old dog has probably learned a few dick tricks over the years and is more than eager to show them to you.

They’ve Learned From Their Past

I hate to break it to you honey, but you’re probably not his first love. Or even his second. But if you can overlook the romantic or sexual history of your new beau, it becomes apparent that the past can actually be a good thing.

To help explain, let’s take a short trip down memory lane.

Did you ever have a high school sweetheart that thought it was okay to belch pizza-flavored burps into your mouth while you were making out? Perhaps you had a college boyfriend who would chat up hot sorority girls at the party while you watched? Or, maybe you dated a guy who spent the entire date texting his friends and staring at his phone?

If so, I hope you shook some sense into them.

Because the thing is, most guys learn how to act in future relationships based on past relationships. And if you didn’t tell your boyfriend to not to burp in your face, then he will continue to do so much to the horror of his future girlfriends.

Older men have had this sense shook, slapped, spit, and forced into them by their past girlfriends. It’s hopefully shaped them not only into being better lovers but better people in general.

If your man treats you with respect and love, then there is probably an ex-girlfriend or ex-wife that you should send a hand-written thank you note to.

And Hey, They’re Gosh Darn Sexy

Okay, I admit that this is a blatantly objective statement. Every girl has her own taste in men, and preference is hard to measure. But the second I see a well-dressed, distinguished man walking my direction…well smack my ass and call me Judy.

Yes, Those Things Are Nice. But What About The Disadvantages?

Dating an older man isn’t always a walk in the park (although older men fucking loooooove walking around parks). Like anything in life, there are some disadvantages to consider.

Get Ready for Weird Looks and Questions

People are naturally curious about other people’s lives. And with your older beau by your side, you’ll spark their curiosity a little bit more than the average couple.

You’ll be interrogated by family, friends, coworkers, people on the street, and even people in the hardware store (true story!). They’ll wonder how you met and how you make your relationship work.

As I said, people will always ask about your relationship, whether you’re with an older man or not. But if they start insulting or attacking your relationship, you can tell them to take their stickybeak and eff right off into space.

They Might Have Kids

Now, please don’t @ me for this one. I know many people consider kids to be the ultimate blessing. But regardless of your opinion on whether kids are great, they inevitably do make dating a whole lot harder.

When I got married to my ex-husband, I inherited two stepsons. They were 13 and 17 years old. I was 26.

It’s not that I don’t have a maternal instinct — I do. I would love to have children of my own in the future. But once I got married, I swapped weekend getaways to the beach for family basketball tournaments. Instead of taking shots of vodka at the bar, I was taking turns playing games on the Xbox. And no matter how hard I tried to play good housewife, it just wasn’t the life for me.

Dating a man with kids doesn’t mean you instantly become a parent. Building a relationship with his children will be almost as important, and just as tedious, as forming a relationship with him. If you’re not prepared for it, then reconsider your options.

You Might Be In Different Stages of Life

Sure, the early stages of dating is a lot of fun. There’s sex and passion and playfulness. But once the pieces start falling into place, you might realize that the things you want, and the things your man wants are just too different.

If your man has been married before, he might not be in any hurry to walk down the aisle again. Or vice versa, he might be looking to settle down sooner rather than later. Come to think of it, I’ve met my fair share of men who are eager to have kids as early as possible so they can still be “young” while they raise them.

If your goals aren’t aligned, you and your older man could be destined for failure.

But Wait. Does Liking Older Men Mean I Have Daddy Issues?

Well no. Or yes.

I don’t know you, or your history, or your childhood upbringing. Many psychologists are quick to jump to the conclusion a woman’s attraction to older men stems from a complicated relationship with their fathers.

These women are often portrayed as insecure and weak. They are believed to be constantly on the prowl for a pseudo-father to fill in the gaps of their past. Essentially, they’re looking for hot, new daddy to support and take care of them in ways that original daddy didn’t.

I don’t completely bash their theory, but I don’t believe fully believe in it either.

No one seems to discuss why some women love black men, or tall men, or bald men, or muscular men. Do these women seek out these partners because they were betrayed by other black, tall, bald, or muscular men in their past?

Probably not.

Because at the end of the day, you don’t choose who you fall in love with. To me, it doesn’t matter if your father was at your recitals or not. It’s nobody’s business but your own.

Ready to Give Love a Shot?

In the end, age really is just a number. It’s the person you’re dating that truly counts.

As long as you find someone that loves and respects you the way you want to be loved and respected, then you’re already lightyears ahead of most people.

But if you’re willing to take a chance on a man twice your age, then by all means, open your heart and let him into yours.

And if it doesn’t work out, don’t worry. He doesn’t have that much time anyway.