This year, Ledcat and I will celebrate our 12th Thanksgiving as a couple. Our plans include dinner with our family of choice (aka The Sarahs and their 2 kids) who are vegetarian but prepare turkey breast for us. I’m pretty sure we’ll be schooled in a video game by the 8 year old and get a personal narration of “Frozen.” Mostly, we’ll eat and then lounge on the furniture talking about interesting stuff.

We’ve been trying to recall some of the highlights of the past years.

The “Two Thanksgiving” Approach – on several occasions, we’ve had one meal with my family and one with hers. This could have worked if someone was willing to eat at like 12 noon and the other at 6 PM. Instead, they both insisted on mid-day meals.

The “Combined Family” Approach – on several other occasions, we brought everyone together under one roof. This was a whopping total of 11 people. This worked okay if you like all of your family drama compacted into one dining room.

The “You Have No Kids So Must Comply” Edict – as relatively young people with no children, we’ve always been beholden to our grandparents and the kids. That’s fine when it comes to things like safety, side dishes and avoiding certain topics – not so fine when someone expects you to completely rearrange your schedule so they can watch the Macy’s parade with a kid in matching pajamas to create a magic memory.

The “Thanksgiving Dinner Out” Approach – we’ve dined out a few times, sometimes with family and sometimes without. The food is usually good, but it lacks in atmosphere. Still, since we don’t cook on that scale it remains a viable option to enjoy an intimate holiday meal together.

The “Divided We Conquer” Approach – I go with my family, she goes with hers. That sucks.

The “Try To Cook Dinner” Approach – One year, we tried to cook a turkey dinner here at home. It was HORRIBLE. My father rescued us, but told us we should never try again. Now we just bring rolls, baked goods and floral arrangements.

The “You Eat THAT on Thanksgiving” Discussion – There was the time I learned Ledcat’s mother served cherry pie for dessert. WTF? I brought my own pumpkin pie which everyone ate. My aunt serves a soup course – tomato soup. I spent decades having to sit politely while everyone slurped tomato soup which I absolutely despise. At least there was pumpkin pie on the other end of the meal.

You know what all of this means? No leftovers.

I’m thankful to have so much to complain about and hope to have many years ahead with similar tales of woe. But more leftovers.