Every year on September 19th, Poseidon rises up from the sea along with a couple Krakken. Women become wenches, every drink becomes a mug of rum and every cell phone a sword. Every syllable in the English language becomes hacked up beyond recognition and words such as "yarrgh" and "ye" start finding their way into the lexicon. By lunch, whole offices are convinced it's the 15th century and they are all sailing the seven seas in the perpetual hunt for treasure.

Way back in 1995, John "Ol Chumbucket" Baur and Mark "Cap'n Slappy" Summers started talking like pirates on the racquetball court to encourage each other. They then decided to make a day of it (almost randomly selecting September 19th.) For the next seven years they (along with their friend Brian) celebrated International Talk Like a Pirate Day pretty much by themselves. Then this column, written by Dave Barry, was published in 2002. And according to the boys, "all hell broke loose." International Talk Like a Pirate Day was a hit. For more on the history of International Talk Like a Pirate Day and how to talk like a pirate, visit the official website.

While pirates were generally reprehensible characters and scoundrels, talking like a pirate is just damn entertaining. It's a fun and harmless thing that you can do - for one day out of the year to just mess with routine a bit. You don't have to dress up, you don't have to rape and pillage a village (yes, I am aware I just made a rhyme. I'm keeping it.) You don't have to quest through the city for gold and fight a sea monster. You just have to add in a "yaargh" or "ahoy" here and there and you should be golden.

Not content with the basic FAQ type info on the website I spoke to the two rum soaked scurvy scallywags responsible for International Talk Like a Pirate Day about talking like a pirate, Mike Ditka, Ninjas & pirate beards. Though, we had to transfer burnt scrolls via carrier pigeon to get all the questions answered. It took a while and one of the pigeons was cooked and eaten by the crew, but here's the resulting conversation.

GeekDad: When will the day come when everyone talks like a pirate every day, not just one day?

Cap'n Slappy: Takin' into consideration that most pirates couldn't read or write and mistook manatees for mermaids - and multiplyin' those factors by current test scores o' yer average 5th grader, then, takin' the square root o' the downward trend in adult population science knowledge and dividin' it all by the Pi - rate ... (tee hee ...) We should all be talkin' like pirates EVERY DAMN DAY starting March 4th (it's not just a day - it's an order!) 2033. (Give or take a day.)

'Ol Chumbucket: The popularity of Talk Like a Pirate Day has grown exponentially, from a handful of friends to millions of people on every continent, and our Web site, takes millions of hits every September. So I can easily see a day when everyone on the planet celebrates the holiday. And because everyone on the planet will have so much fun talking like pirates just one day a ear, how long can it take, really, before they just start doing it all the time? So I think Slappy's prediction is a worst-case scenario. It might be a lot sooner, assuming the rum holds out.

GeekDad: Better cabin boy: Chris Elliott or Mr. Smee?

Cap'n Slappy: Chris Elliott - only because I factor in "smackability" as a positive factor.

'Ol Chumbucket: This is one o'them trick questions, you sneaky bastard! What are ye, a ninja or something?

Mr. Smee was first mate (and occasionally cook, depending on the version or adaptation) for Captain Hook, never the cabin boy. Only officers would have been addressed as Mister. So Smee's right out on the cabin boy front. Plus, he was far too cuddly to ever be taken seriously as a pirate, even when Bob Hoskins played him. In fact, in the original Barrie play, Wendy says that if she were to have a pirate for a pet, she would choose Smee.

Chris Elliott, on the other hand, is just a doofus, and really, what more do you need in a cabin boy?

GeekDad: Clearly you've done a lot of plundering in your time. Where is the best place for plundering you've been?

Cap'n Slappy: Las Vegas - they have machines thar that PUKE money! And the only people standing watch are drunk pensioners ... kind o' like Walmart, which is number 2 on me list!

'Ol Chumbucket: Aye, Vegas. Although if you spend all yer time in the casinos, it's hard to know who's the plunderer and who's the plunderee.

GeekDad: Do you think the current economical climate can be directly linked to the lack of true pirates in the world?

Cap'n Slappy: No. Because if that were the case - the booty would have found its way to me by now! I do, however, believe along with our Pastafarian friends that the decrease in pirate population has contributed dramatically to global warming! (So, that is at least ONE impact on climate!)

'Ol Chumbucket: Considering that the overabundance of pirates in the early 18th century nearly killed the global economy, it's hard to see how you could make the case for the opposite.

GeekDad: The Somalian "Pirates" are giving true Pirates a bad name. Isn't it about time we blast them out of the water?

Cap'n Slappy: I recently wrote "An Open Letter to the Somali Pirates" for Pirates Magazine. In me missive, I suggest that as we've already claimed the name, "Pirates" that they might be better described as "Sea Thugs" or "Kelp-Festooned Kidnappers." I also point out that if they expect Disney to make a movie about them in 300 years, they'll have to work on their "charm factor!" "The blunderbuss" I point out, "announces its presence with authority whilst the AK-47 is a vulgar fire arm!"

'Ol Chumbucket: Think of what you're sayin' man! Give pirates "a bad name!!" I would hope our name is so black and sullied that the most a few poor bastards from the wrong coast of Africa could do is burnish it up a little. I call 'em pirates, but I also call 'em beside the point.

GeekDad: Explain the benefits of rum and other hearty pirate drinks.

Cap'n Slappy: Rum is full o' Vitamin RRRRR!!! It wards off scurvy, dysentery, beriberi, "the vapors," and gingivitis.

'Ol Chumbucket: Rum. It's not just fer breakfast anymore!

GeekDad: Who would win in a fight, a pirate ship carrying Mike Ditka or a hurricane named Ditka?

Cap'n Slappy: Yer question raises some questions ... Is this "Mike Ditka" restaurateur or "Mike Ditka" world-famous coach of a beloved team we call, "Da Bears!?" Because I gotta give it to Mike Ditka - the coach o' Da Bears! (Unless Hurricane Ditka was also once an all-pro! Then, we start lookin' at choices of weapons and martial arts training as a determining factor.)

'Ol Chumbucket: I'm sorry, but Mike Ditka ceased to be the international symbol of tough, overwhelming manhood more than a dozen years ago when he posed for that "wedding" photo with Ricky Williams, then went on to do those Levitra commercials. Put the two images together in yer head – Mike Ditka "marrying" a running back, then taking a drug for erectile dysfunction – and that'll put any notion of his toughness out of yer head. Along with any chance of sleep. The title of international symbol of tough, overwhelming manhood then briefly resided with a string of lesser he-men, from Chuck Norris to Dog the Bounty Hunter. I'm afraid the title is currently vacant, although I have applied for the job. But of course, it's not a job you can apply for. You have to just take it.

GeekDad: Speak a bit about the correlation between great beards and great pirates.

Cap'n Slappy: Beards and pirates go together like fat guys and Hawaiian shirts! Without his luxurious black beard - Blackbeard would have just been known as "Eddie the Pirate." Of course, there was Redbeard and Bluebeard and Yellowbeard - the lesser-known but nonetheless dastardly Scottish pirate, Plaidbeard and who can forget the fabulously flamboyant - Rainbowbeard who never called, "battle stations!" but rather readied his crew for battle by singing, "Places people! It's time to SPARKLE!"

Of course, I, meself, have a magnificent beard (Salt-n-peppa-beard) which flaps majestically in the sea breeze and doubles as a man-bib and snack holder. Ooo! There's a chunk of Whopper with cheese now! Yum!

'Ol Chumbucket: I would just point out that I have several Hawaiian shirts, and I'm considered the svelte one of the group. So I've gotta take umbrage at that (or take something, I'm a pirate after all.) While many of yer top pirates sported fine beards – Blackbeard, Barbarossa (the real one, not the Disney character with a similar but not quite the same name) and Cap'n Slappy and meself. But it's hardly a requirement. More of a fashion choice. The most successful pirate of the golden age, Black Bart Roberts, was a smooth cheeked fella.

In fiction, it's even more so. Erroll Flynn had a dandy mustache but hardly any beard at all, just sort of a soul patch. Capt. Hook's pointy thing looks macho compared to Jack Sparrow's little chin braids. In fact, Barbosa in the same movie didn't have a beard at all, now did he? And Burt Lancaster's face was as smooth as a baby's bottom in "The Crimson Pirate." Of course, that movie pretty much sucked, but still,

it was Burt Lancaster.

GeekDad: How does one get the parrot to stay on the shoulder?

Cap'n Slappy: Hypnotism. Failing that. staples.

'Ol Chumbucket: I had some success with magnets, but I found they tended to draw bullets in my direction.

GeekDad: How do you feel about Ninjas?

Cap'n Slappy: I know when ye're tryin' to get to sleep, ye're supposed to count sheep - but I switched to Ninjas because sheep were by far more intelligent and interesting.

'Ol Chumbucket: Truth be told (why not?) I feel sorta sorry for the sneaky little blighters, ye know? I mean, this whole "pirates vs. ninjas" thing started because the ninjas were so jealous of our popularity. It's really kinda pathetic, don't ye think? Pirates were pretty cool with the whole things, but the ninjas just couldn't shut up. If ninjas are supposed to be silent and invisible, why don't they just shut up and disappear?

Now, if you read our book, "The Pirate Life: Unleashing Your Inner Buccaneer," you'll find scientific proof that pirates are superior to ninjas (and lots of other stuff.) So they're really isn't any point in continuing the debate, now is there? I mean, we've already proved it scientifically. In our book. Which all your readers should buy. Many copies of, because it's such a delightful and piratey book.

GeekDad: Thanks for your time! As a parting shot, what advice would you give a young pirate, just starting out?

Cap'n Slappy: Drink plenty o' fluids and be sure to wash your hands! Wait - that's how to avoid the flu. Ah - what the hell ... same advice!

To find out more, and if there is an International Talk Like a Pirate Day event scheduled in your port o' call, visit the website! Also, be sure to follow Cap'n Slappy on Twitter for sage pirate advice and general shenanigans!

We want to hear how YOU plan on celebrating! Tell us in the comments!