Howdy folks!

I’ve been trying to actually be active lately. As some of you might have noticed, I posted a new story yesterday:

Lord of the Dragons

by Titanium Dragon



Drama

2,625 words Before the Gauntlet of Fire, Celestia, Luna, and Dragon Lord Torch meet to discuss the future of their kingdoms – and how to ensure that the next Dragon Lord is exactly who they want it to be. After all, if Princess Ember is to win, something has to be done about all those adult dragons seen in the dragon migration...

If you’ve ever wondered where all the adult dragons from the dragon migration and other episodes went, or why the Gauntlet of Fire contained a maze or seemed to reward teamwork, or if you just like characters plotting politics, this might be up your alley.

I actually created a group for Dragon Lord Torch, who I think has a really fun voice but I have seen very, very few stories about. If you are aware of any Dragon Lord Torch stories, feel free to add them to the group.

Anyway, as I felt guilty about not reading other folks’ stuff after so many folks read my own stories, I thought I’d go and review some stories, including one I’ve been putting off reading for a long time.

Today’s stories:

For a Friend by Kodeake

Rarity’s Mare of the Evening by HoofBitingActionOverload

Even in Dreams by Chris

Butterscotch by Ceffyl Dwr

Snowflake Shoe-Hare by Estee

For a Friend

by Kodeake

Romance, Slice of Life

7,668 words Rainbow Dash asks Twilight a question one early morning, claiming that she's asking for a friend. In the process she unknowingly sets Twilight out on a journey to find out who asked the question originally. With nothing but a single question to go on, Twilight tries to track down a mare that may not even exist.

Why I added it: It randomly caught my eye while I was browsing story titles.

Review

Rainbow Dash wants to know if Twilight likes mares.

You know, for a friend.

After mentioning to Rainbow Dash that she was, in fact, bisexual, Rainbow Dash takes off for work… leaving Twilight to stew.

And by that I mean ask every mare in town if they were Rainbow Dash’s “friend” who wanted to ask her out.

Unfortunately, much as I love Twilight freaking out, I feel like this story failed to really properly escalate the ridiculousness. Instead, it ended up feeling kind of flat – Twilight goes to Rarity, then to Fluttershy, then to Pinkie Pie, all the while putting off Rainbow Dash, but the situation just doesn’t end up feeling like it escalates. Comedy stories, like all stories, need rising engagement, but this story ended up feeling kind of flat – rather than the scenes getting progressively funnier, they sort of felt the same, and didn’t feel like they really took different tacks. They all ended up feeling rather similar, and the story felt overly drawn out.

Recommendation: Not Recommended.

Rarity’s Mare of the Evening

by HoofBitingActionOverload



Romance

4,148 words When Rarity’s friends discover that she has been seeing an escort, they decide to investigate and find out why. What they discover is more shocking than any of them could have imagined.

Why I added it: I read it previously.

Review

This story is the original verison of Twisting Between the Sheets. It is much, much shorter than that story, and much less emotionally complicated – indeed, it is pretty much just a straight-up RariJack shipfic, as opposed to the complex emotional drama that is Twisting Between the Sheets.

Here, we see the same setup as the other story – and yet, it is greatly simplified by comparison. Sugar Sweet has very little personality here, and is not emotionally invested in Rarity. Conversely, Applejack is clearly romantically interested in Rarity here, and her actions appear to be driven more by jealousy than her distaste for prostitutes, as it is in Twisting Between the Sheets.

As in that story, the group goes to spy on Rarity, Rarity gets found out… and then Applejack runs off, Rarity chases her, and they go all shippy. The end.

What is interesting about this story is that it really shows how the same basic premise can be changed and turned into a much, much stronger story. Rarity’s Mare of the Evening is an okay story, but it is unexceptional, whereas Twisting Between the Sheets is a tense emotional drama which really makes you care about the ponies involved. This is something which might satisfy a RariJack shipper, but Twisting Between the Sheets is something which can satisfy a much broader audience.

It also shows how an idea you get for a shipfic might not always really make that much sense – Applejack gets over what happened awfully quick in this story, whereas in Twisting Between the Sheets, she gets much more upset, and her reaction (and Rarity’s freakout) feel vastly more meaningful. Rarity and Applejack simply don’t show the same depth of emotion here as they do in the later story, whereas Sugar Sweet is practically a non-entity.

Recommendation: Read Twisting Between the Sheets. This version of the story is okay, but is really only worth reading for examining how an okay story can be retooled into a much more awesome one.

Even in Dreams

by Chris



Slice of Life

1,469 words Everypony has dreams. Some dream of superpowers. Others dream of fame and respect. Still others dream of creature comforts, or of achieving long-sought goals. But what sort of dream can stop the Tantabus?

Why I added it: Chris is a good writer.

Review

During the battle with the Tantabus, everypony in Ponyville is asked to pitch in to help. But Lyra, Bon Bon, Carrot Top, Berry Punch, Lily, and Minuette are all just so… boringly normal, they just don’t know how to help.

Okay, maybe not Minuette.

This is a story about the bystanders to the battle with the Tantabus, and it is a cute little thing. It is quite funny, but it also shows a fair bit of heart, and Carrot Top’s dream (and how it helps in the battle against the Tantabus) is a take on normalcy you don’t see nearly often enough.

In the end, this is a very simple story, but it is fun, and it is worth a few minutes of your time to read.

Recommendation: Recommended.

Butterscotch

by Ceffyl Dwr



Drama, Romance, Sad, Slice of Life

3,618 words First love is a powerful and intoxicating thing. But even when your shared memories grant you the strongest of foundations, sometimes you've just got to admit that if it isn't meant to be then it isn't meant to be. Pinkie Pie doesn't want to admit that, though, even if Twilight Sparkle already has.

Why I added it: Someone recommended it to me.

Review

This is a story about Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle in a relationship. It starts out very cute and full of hope and light and laughter as the pair enjoy each others’ company, enjoy being around each other, enjoy each others’ presence and moods and foibles…

And then, over time, we watch as things slowly fall apart between them, and they can’t bring themselves to talk about it, no matter how much they try.

Told entirely from Pinkie Pie’s point of view, we’re given a large number of summaries of little things that Twilight and Pinkie Pie did together, or did for each other, and as the story goes on, Pinkie grows ever more depressed, and Twilight seems unable to really talk about their problems – or, possibly, break up with Pinkie.

This is, ultimately, a story about a relationship starting and eventually unravelling, and by the end of it, I felt sorry for both Twilight and Pinkie. It does a good job of conveying what is going on with surprisingly small snippets of events, and in the end, it all comes together very well.

If you want to see a story about the arc of a failing relationship, this is a good read.

Recommendation: Worth Reading.

Snowflake-Shoe Hare

by Estee



Gore, Adventure

10,275 words When the Element-Bearers are summoned to a mission, somepony has to fill in for their day jobs while they're gone. In Fluttershy's case, that pony is Snowflake, and has been for nearly two years. While he can't bring the talents of her mark to the job, he can keep the cottage running steadily until she gets back— —with one lapine exception. It's Snowflake vs. Angel Bunny. And the rabbit has the edge.

Why I added it: Estee is a good writer.

Review

Snowflake is a huge pegasus with tiny, tiny wings. He’s one of the strongest ponies in existed, with all his sheer muscular mass. He’s big, he’s loud, he’s scary…

…he’s actually pretty averse to actually using his muscles to actually hurt anything.

As a “self-employed” friend of Fluttershy, he steps in for her whenever she goes out on a mission with the rest of the bearers. Most of the animals like Snowflake well enough.

Except for Angel, whose name is as ironic as that of the big white pegasus.

This story is very info-dumpish and serves, in large part, as world-building – a huge amount of the story is devoted to explaining various features of Estee’s verse, while the rest serves as a story pitting Snowflake against Angel, and eventually the two having to work together due to a common threat.

This story is pretty slow-paced – a common flaw of Estee stories – but it does at least have a common thread throughout it as it tries to paint a better picture of just who Snowflake is as a pony, and how he sees the world.

At that, the story does a reasonably good job, and Estee’s world building is at least mostly interesting, though some things (such as Snowflake and Fluttershy’s mutual friend) are obscured for reasons which make no sense to me – why isn’t this pony named? I just don’t get it.

That said, the story’s pacing is pretty questionable – a lot of the story is pretty flat, and only a few scenes seem to have any real tension to them, until we get to the end, at which point the two have to work together. In the end, it is resolved (at least for the time being) and the story ends, feeling complete.

If you like Estee’s other works, and don’t mind the pacing of those, this is decent enough. But if you aren’t a big fan of Estee’s other works, this is really not going to change your mind about it – and if Estee’s slow pacing bothers you, this story is going to be offputting.

Recommendation: Worth Reading if slow pacing doesn’t bother you; avoid if you don’t like Estee’s other works or slow pacing drives you crazy.

Summary

For a Friend by Kodeake

Not Recommended Rarity’s Mare of the Evening by HoofBitingActionOverload

Worth Reading Even in Dreams by Chris

Recommended Butterscotch by Ceffyl Dwr

Worth Reading Snowflake Shoe-Hare by Estee

Worth Reading

And there we go!

I really need to figure out what story I’m going to work on next; I’ve got a bunch of stories in my backlog, but I like my newfound productivity and don’t want to lose the thread.

Until next time, I hope you enjoy some of these stories – and of course, that you enjoy reading about Dragon Lord Torch’s machinations in Lord of the Dragons if you haven’t gotten there yet.