Mental health is affected by your physical health, right? So if you’re in pain all the time, then where does that leave you? Wouldn’t it affect everything you do?

The issue I’m going to address all comes down to health websites and social media.

Let’s look at some hypothetical scenarios.

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You have depression. You feel apathetic and lethargic all the time. You read an article about how to improve your mood. The article says to just stop worrying and think about the positive things in your life! If only it were that easy. You stay depressed.

You are overweight. You feel miserable about the clothes you used to be able to wear. You decide to lose weight. You read an article about how to lose weight. It says to focus on “calories in, calories out.” It doesn’t specify how to start doing that. You try restricting calories, but you’re miserable because you’re starving all the time. You stay the same weight.

You have chronic pain. Your knees start aching after standing in one place for more than 10 minutes. Your leg nerves and spinal discs twinge at the slightest physical activity. You sometimes feel so fatigued that you can’t lift your arms long enough to wash your hair. It’s like you’re trying to carry sand bags everywhere you go.

You can’t fall asleep, but you can’t seem to stay awake, either. Maybe it’s your left leg going numb because of your scoliosis. Maybe your pillow is too flat. Maybe you are thinking about all your stresses and worries.

Maybe it’s all of the above.

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When you have any of these issues, there is certain advice that simply doesn’t apply to you.

“Oh, you can’t sleep? Try working out every morning!”

“Oh, you’re hungry all the time? Have you tried [insert name of fad diet]?”

“Oh, you have nerve pain? Can’t you just ignore it and power forward?”

“Oh, you’re tired all the time? Me too! I’m totally fine if I drink coffee.”

“If you want it badly enough, you’ll find a way.”

That’s just not how it works. Advice for one person can be completely useless to another.

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I have chronic pain and fatigue (fibromyalgia, degenerative disc disease, osteoarthritis, levoscoliosis, etc.).

Telling me to wake up early to work out is like telling you to wake up in the middle of the night and dust the house from top to bottom.

There’s an old thing that goes around about how you should say “it wasn’t a priority” instead of “I didn’t have time.” Sorry, but that’s just excessive guilting. I already feel bad for not being able to do certain things. I do what I can.

So I now have a useful little tool that alleviates some of the stress of seeing article after article about things I can’t reasonably do.

It’s simply an invisible asterisk, with a preset meaning:

*if you don’t have a chronic illness

That’s it. That’s all it says.

When you find an article with suggestions that you are unable to follow, just imagine this little asterisk, with whatever physical or mental problem is in your way.

It’s not meant to be used as an excuse, for things like “Well, I just don’t wanna.”

I use it for stress relief. To remind myself that I’m not the person an article is targeted toward.

I encourage you to use it too, if you’re a chronic pain warrior or a depression warrior, if you have medical conditions that force you to do things differently to make them accessible.

You are not too broken. You are different. And the way I see it, that’s a beautiful thing.