WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

Kingmakers and factional heavyweights within the Australian Labor Party have pulled the trigger this morning.

It can be confirmed that the powerbrokers in the Labor Party, have in fact locked their leader, Bill Shorten away for the foreseeable future.

This comes after analysts and commentators around the country have concluded that the next election should be ‘unlosable’ for the ALP.

The continued fallout from the leadership shambles in the Liberal Party has seemingly handed the opposition the election in gift wrapping.

However, the heavies within the party, who have been around long enough to remember Mark Latham shitting the bed, told The Advocate that there is ‘no such thing as a sure thing.’

The source, who requested anonymity told us that after a snap conference this morning it was decided that Bill Shorten should be locked away, for now.

“We just can’t risk him going out and speaking, and doing things, and ruining our chances of winning an election that we ‘can’t-lose’” the source explained.

“So poor old Bill got a knock on the door after he got dressed, and we’ve stashed him away in a secure location.”

“Don’t worry. He is okay. He has food and water. Just no access to the outside world. We can’t have another Latham style handshake debacle can we,” the source said.

“It’s for his own good. He will thank us down the track.”

More to come.