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Local 4th-grade backrower, Watto, says he now believes in a divine force.

After 5:00 am finish with some of the colties who have bye this weekend, the big fella woke up with one of those cold-sweats, can’t-finish-your-train-of-thought kind of hangovers.

“I threw up in the shower” he says.

“I’m just so crook”

As Watto puts it, a friday night club feed turned into 6-man-shout of pre-mixed rum and coke, which lasted several hours.

“My heads is searing. I keep losing focus in my left eye”

While buckled over in the shower this morning, regurgitating a black mix of dark spirits and stomach acid, Watto prayed for rain.

“Not for the farmers” he said.

“For my own gotdam self”

While his prayers for a called off match didn’t come true, he did get the next best thing.

“Turns out their tighthead had tied one on as well” he says.

“So they had to move a colties winger up to play in his spot”

“Uncontested scrums, you beauty”

Although Watto would have preferred to have been to be able to lay in bed and drink home brand soda water while watching the Simpsons on Putlocker, he says a bit of light exercise and half-hearted contact was just what he needed.

“Couple panadeine fortes and three blue gatorades, mate”

“I was good to go”

By the end of the first half, Watto isn’t even bothering to bend over or even pretend to touch anyone during the scrums.

“Look at these idiots pretending that it even matters” he laughs.

“I’m starting to get a bit thirsty”