Microsoft has a campus in Fargo, North Dakota, which is decidedly unimpressed by the Redmond campus’s reaction to this week’s snowfall.

On Raymond Chen’s The Old New Thing, Chen quotes from a mock emergency alert written by the Fargo staff.

A selection:

Due to normal cold weather and heavy snowfall the Microsoft Facilities in Fargo, including satellite areas (ABC, DEF, and GHI) will have NO SERVICES INTERUPTED due to Snow/Ice conditions in the local area.

Effective For: Thursday, December 18, 2008 through the end of April

Please exercise normal caution driving and walking on campus as you are more likely to be attacked by a bunny than slip and fall on the ice.

Shuttle: Campus shuttles will not be operating because there is no such thing as a campus shuttle in Fargo.

Facilities Maintenance Response: A full maintenance staff is at work on campus today.

Security: Corporate Security advises its services will remain available to the campus. If you need assistance, stop by the office and wake them up.

Parking: Park as usual, the snow plow drivers will just plow around you. You’re all capable of driving on snow/ice so plowing will be limited.

Connectivity: You shouldn’t have any connectivity issues because you’re expected to be at work. We only had 10″ of snow and 40mph wind.

Area Roads: In light of the continuing snowfall and icy road conditions, most local roads are snow-covered and slippery and will remain that way until March. For information on current road conditions, please look out the window.

Thank you for your understanding and cooperation.

Microsoft Real Estate & Facilities