

I keep getting in Facebook fights with my friends in North Carolina.

I’m from N.C. and have kept in touch with people there, but many of them are worried about transgender people using their bathrooms. They’re not alone because it seems like the whole country is debating this issue. I have an interesting perspective because my friend Leslie is transgender. She was my boss until a few years ago, when she went through the transition process and became a woman (Leslie will tell you that she was a woman from birth, though). She has told me heartbreaking stories of struggle, loss and eventual acceptance, and Leslie is the main reason I keep getting into these Facebook fights.

The people I’m debating with have deeply rooted concerns though, and many are worried that laws allowing the transgendered into their restrooms will allow sexual predators in, as well. They are worried about the safety of their kids, so telling them they’re being close-minded doesn’t help anything.

Let’s address this concern, because it’s a biggie. Will a law that opens restrooms to transgender people put kids at risk? Well, when did a rapist ever worry about breaking the law? A sexual predator wants ACCESS and they will get it by any means necessary, no matter what your Governor says. So, how can we protect our girls and boys? Teach them The Buddy System, to be aware of their surroundings and some basic self-defense moves. Also, teach them them this chant: “Eyes, nose, throat and groin! That is where the pain is goin’!” They’ll love it and will hopefully remember those painful points if they ever need to. Teach them how to protect themselves, because a law that keeps a transgender person out of their bathroom will not. Period.

What are the other concerns I’ve heard? Most folks just seem confused and a little scared of transgender people. That’s understandable because the idea of sexual reassignment is a big pill to swallow. I imagine it’s a relief for someone who IS transgender to finally hear their feelings explained, but it’s mind-blowing for the rest of us. Yes, that includes me. I didn’t fully understand what a transgender person goes through until I talked to my friend Leslie, which is why I’m proposing Transgender Hug Day.

On Transgender Hug Day, we will all get together, transgender and otherwise, and get to know each other. You can ask them everything you ever wanted to know about their lives and struggles. Ask them the personal stuff too because in my experience, they don’t mind talking about it. When you’re done talking to them, talk to their PARENTS. Not all of them will show up, but the ones who do will tell you remarkable tales of grief, acceptance, and immeasurable relief once they reached the other side.

You don’t have to hug each other, but once you’ve talked for a while and see how much you have in common, I bet you’ll want to.

So, look at your calendar and let’s set a date. We should schedule a few in North Carolina and Georgia but I bet the whole world could use a Transgender Hug Day. And if you’re still clutching the Bible, claiming that the whole thing is unholy, let’s stop and discuss that, too. Think about Jesus and how he ate with the sinners and talked to the prostitutes. He never judged or shamed, and though we’ll never know what Jesus would’ve thought of transgender people, he definitely would have talked to them. Yes, at the very least, Jesus would have listened to their stories and asked all kinds of questions and I bet, when it was over, he would have hugged them, too.