Attention, fellow shoppers: Bear Lawyer’s impromptu sojourn to the local l’Oeil de Boeuf megamart was meant to be a quick one—easy in, easy out, maintain proper social distancing throughout. Standard mindless weekend fare, and but a small effort to keep one’s thoughts away from far more (de)pressing matters, however briefly.

BL did not, in the course of browsing for a new duvet with which to weather the coming winter—and/or retreat into come early November—expect to be verbally accosted for choosing to abide by the store’s clearly-posted mask-wearing mandate, as following such protocols is logical, courteous, and wholly proper under the present circumstances.

Nevertheless, BL is pleased to report that, as a result of the ensuing exchange of views, he did finally manage to convince—and then selflessly aid—a fellow shopper to acquire their own sanitary facial covering, the down-filled density of which is almost certain to prevent both the ingress and egress of any offending particulate, whether viral or verbal.