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Girls Piss Me Off ! ! !Girls Piss Me Off.. "can you tell im single"? ? ?I swear that if I wasn't sexually attracted to girls that I'd be gay. At leastguys make sense most the time.First off, girls just talk way too much. When you're with your othergirlfriends, go ahead and talk about whatever the fuck you want. I don't care.But why exactly do you think that I care about the kind of day that your sistersco-workers dog had? Your sister is nice enough, but I don't know her co-workerand I certainly don't know her dog. So why the fuck are you telling me thisstory? I don't care! If you have something worth talking about, then I can enjoyengaging you in a meaningful conversation. But before you start talking to meabout some of the insane frivolous shit that you talk to your girlfriends about,first ask yourself "Does this have a point?". Because if it doesn't I'm justgoing to smile, and nod, and zone out and you'll get mad because I'm notlistening to your retarded shit!Stop over complicating everything. There isn't an ulterior motive or hiddenmeaning in every other sentance. Unless, I suppose, it's coming out of the mouthof another woman. Because you ladies never can seem to say what you actuallymean. You have this weird secret code that you love to try and crack and expectus guys to be able to get in on your stupid game. Guys aren't like that. Rarelyrarely RARELY will you ever have to figure out what a guy is actually saying. Wesay what we mean. Girls have such a skewed sense of logic that this simpleconcept is often lost on them. When you go searching for some deeper meaningthat isn't there, you're just committing to an act of futility. In the end youwind up making up some bullshit and believing that it must be true and acting onthat false reality and making a mess of something for no apparent reason otherthan the fact that you're in-fucking-sane.Stop getting upset at guys for trying to help solve your problems. That's whatguys do. You present us with a problem, we're going to try and fix it. It's inour fucking nature. I know it's in your nature to want to talk about everything,but if you're going to bring up your problems to a guy, expect that he's goingto try and do something about it or give you advice. Women always bitch thatguys don't listen. It's not that we don't listen, we just don't understand whyyou're bringing up your problems if you don't want us to do something about it.We're not as empathetic as your girlfriends, so if you want empathy, go to them.Likewise, if guys have a problem, they'll probably only bring it up if they needhelp or advice. Many women will bitch that guys don't talk enough. It's not thatguys don't talk, it's just that your empathy doesn't help solve our problemswhen we do talk.One of the most insanely frustrating things about women is the constantreassurance. No, you're not fat. If you were fat you wouldn't be able to fitinto that size 2 dress. And yes, you look good. Guys wouldn't be giving you freeshit if you were ugly. (There's an ulterior fucking motive for you. Hint:They're not giving you free stuff just to be sweet.) It's so frustrating havingto constantly answer those questions, only to not be believed. It's like tryingto convince someone that the sky is blue. You're not blind, you're not evencolor blind. You can see that the sky is blue. Yet you continue to ask whatcolor the sky is. I tell you it's blue. I know that you know what color blue is.And even though I've told you that the sky is blue about fifty-million times,you still have to ask because...I don't know...maybe it's not blue today. Thesky is fucking blue goddammit! You're not fucking fat! You're not fucking ugly!You know it, I know it, everyone fucking knows it!And fuck all you ultra-hot girls that bitch about the most retarded things.Yeah, all men are fucking pigs because they stare at your boobs. I'm sure it hasnothing to do with the fact that you're wearing a skin tight low cut shirt thathas 'Bebe' printed across your boobs... one 'Be' per boob. It's totally unfairthat you have to put up with guys staring at you all the time just because youlike to look sexy. And boo hoo, it's so hard for you to meet a nice guy. Wellactually it isn't, because the shoulder your crying on belongs to a nice guy.He's the one that puts up with all your stupid shit. And yet you some how end upwith all the assholes. I'm sure that it has nothing to do with the fact thatyou're holding out for a six foot tall alpha-male fire fighter with a trustfund.And finally, yay for you. You sold a freezer to some eskimos. Congratulations onbeing the hot sales rep. We're all very proud of you for being able to have anice ass while the rest of us actually have to work for a living. And we're allso excited to see your new diamond jewelry. Your ability to date another richfucktard that will shower you with expensive bobbles is commendable. And I'll beso surprised and sorry for you when he dumps you for the next hot girl. BecauseI really thought that materialistic trophy bagger was in love with you. But I'mhappy to hear that you wrecked your fifth car while multi-tasking between yourcell phone and doing your make up in the mirror. Your dedication to enforcingthe stereotype of women drivers is nothing short of awe inspiring. And you'reright, I was being a shallow douchebag when I commented on the hotness of EvaLongoria. So lets go see that movie where Johnny Depp makes out with OrlandoBloom on Brad Pitts abs. I know you've been dying to see that one.Girls...you piss me the fuck off. You do stupid shit and manage to get away withit. You can be the most annoying idiots in the world. Your sense of logic andcommon sense seems to be a rare gift rather than a common trait. And yet I'muncontrollably attracted to you. And that's quite possibly the most frustratingthing of all.--YES IM STILL SINGLE