ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

A pair of social, economic and political handbrakes on our progressive desert community have told The Advocate this morning that while they need their television volume to be nearly at the max, they can still hear a popular wine bar two blocks over at night time.

New French Quarter empty nesters, Dale and Mango Pearson, moved into the cultural heart of our town from Betoota Heights half way through last year and they’ve loved their new home thus far.

Speaking this morning to our reporter at the Pisse Dans Ma Poche Bistro on the fabled Champs de Tuer Tous Les Anciens, the sexagenarians say their peaceful existence is often disturbed by noisy drunks, rooftop bars and aplified music.

“We love it here in the French Quarter,” said Dale.

“There’s so much to do, as well as the culture and the pretty buildings. Now that the kids have moved out, we can get on with the business of spending the kids’ inheritance [laughs].”

But not all is well, as Mango describes.

“There’s a lot of loud bars here that are really taking the mickey when it comes to being part of the fabric of the French Quarter,” she said.

“We can hear this one bar that has French folk music every Saturday night. It’s two blocks from here and we can still hear it! I feel like driving my car into it and then telling the police I just had a ‘senior moment’. They wouldn’t send me to jail, a little old lady!”

All this despite the couple’s penchant for having their television turned up to an antisocial level.

Our reporter spoke to a few of the boomer fuck’s neighbours in the new Beriton apartment development on the corner of Rue de Putain and Branlette.

One neighbour, who asked to remain anonymous, said that they’re often disturbed by Mango and Dale’s television volume but are too afraid to speak up about it.

“Some nights, I lie in bed while I hear Grand Designs blaring in the next room through the paper thin Beriton walls and I just hope to God one of their ventricles blow out and I get some peace,” they said.

“It’s so loud and I’m so tired. But they own the flat and I just rent with three friends, so I don’t have any power here. Only God can help us now.”

More to come.