Dear Deidre

I HAD sex with eight guys while on holiday with my girlfriends and have caught an STI.

6 I caught an STI on holiday cheating . . . and now my boyfriend might have it Credit: Getty Images

I’m terrified I might have given it to my boyfriend.

I am 20 and have been with my lovely boyfriend for almost two years.

He is 22.

I went on a girls’ holiday to Crete a month ago.

There were six of us sharing an apartment.

We were out on the town every evening and met a bunch of lads who we all got on well with.

We spent most of the holiday with them, sunbathed and partied together, going round the bars and clubs in the evening.

When one of the guys came on to me the first evening, I was having such a good time I hardly gave my boyfriend a second thought.

I danced the night away with this guy then went back to his apartment.

The sex was awesome.

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I did feel guilty the next day but it soon wore off.

The same thing happened the rest of the holiday.

By the time we were ready to go home, I’d had sex with eight different men.

I started to worry when I developed symptoms.

I saw my GP who referred me to a clinic.

They confirmed I had an STI and said I should tell anyone I’d had sexual contact with so they could have treatment too.

That was impossible because I mostly knew these guys only by their first names.

I haven’t been in touch with any of them since I returned home.

I’ve had sex with my boyfriend so there is a risk he could be infected too.

I don’t know how to tell him.

I regret everything that happened.

I love my boyfriend so much.

I’m sure he will go mad and won’t forgive me.

I don’t want him to leave me because I gave him an STI.

DEIDRE SAYS: You took terrible chances with your sexual health and physical safety having sex with all those virtual strangers on holiday.

Holiday hotspots are often hotbeds of sexual infection.

You likely caught the infection from one of these men but there is just a chance you caught it from your boyfriend – some sexual infections lie dormant or symptomless for a while.

You must tell your boyfriend about the infection so he can get treated.

Explain you had no idea you were infected when you had sex with him on your return.

He may react badly but he deserves to know.

It may cause the break-up of your relationship but that is a risk you have to take.

This is not a secret you can safely keep.

If you don’t care enough to be faithful, maybe you shouldn’t be with him at all.

Whatever you decide, it is a lesson that staying faithful and using protection make sense.

TOPIC FOR TODAY SNORING can be a health risk as well as keeping partners awake and putting stress on your relationship. But self-help measures and expert treatment can help you both get a good night’s sleep. For a copy email me at problems@deardeidre.org.

Worried by odd post-sex silence

6 We had the best sex ever . . . but now he's gone quiet on me Credit: Getty Images

Dear Deidre

AFTER getting back in touch with my first love, I had the most amazing sex.

But now he’s gone quiet on me.

He lives and works in Germany but, a year ago, we bumped into each other when he was here seeing his parents.

We got on really well and began talking online.

A few months ago, he admitted he had feelings for me.

I’m 27 and he is 29.

I feel the same.

We talked every day and the chat got very sexual.

He insisted on buying me a ring for Valentine’s Day.

He wanted to meet up when he was back visiting his family again recently and we had amazing sex – but he’s hardly spoken to me since.

I have to initiate conversations and his responses are vague.

He says he’s down because he misses me but, if that was the case, surely he’d talk to me more?

DEIDRE SAYS: You don’t actually know this guy well face to face.

I’m sure he bought the ring because he thought you’d like it but maybe he doesn’t like the feeling of dependency that missing you brings.

Tell him that having sex was a serious step for you and being casual isn’t your scene.

Walk away if he doesn’t respond positively.

Got a problem? Write to Deidre here. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays. You can also private message on the DearDeidreOfficial Facebook page. Follow me on Twitter @deardeidre or write to Deidre Sanders, The Sun, London SE1 9GF (please enclose SAE).

Will sick note con land sis in dock?

6 My sis is re-using her sick note for doll . . . could she be in trouble? Credit: Getty Images

Dear Deidre

MY sister is falsely claiming benefits by re-using her sick note.

I don’t think she realises it is fraud.

She is a 30-year-old single mum.

Her husband died last year after a massive heart attack.

They had a daughter together and he was the breadwinner.

I am her 32-year-old brother.

I told her to go to the Jobcentre to find work and claim Jobseekers’ Allowance so she could support herself.

She found staff there unhelpful so I recommended she applied for Employment and Support Allowance as she suffers from anxiety and depression.

Her doctor gave her a sick note but refused to write another when it ended.

She’s still not well though and admitted she is scanning her original sick note and changing the dates.

Could she end up in trouble?

DEIDRE SAYS: Insist she stop re-using her sick note.

If you agree she’s still not well, go back with her to her GP and ask him to reassess her fitness for work.

She may be liable to repay any benefit she has been awarded since her last assessment.

In that case best get advice through Citizens Advice (citizensadvice.org.uk).

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Small willy is destroying my life

6 I want penis-enlargement surgery . . . but it's too expensive Credit: Getty Images

Dear Deidre

MY penis is only four inches long and about the width of my little finger.

I am starting to feel really depressed about it and now don’t want to play sports or take part in anything.

I don’t want other guys to see me naked in the changing rooms.

I had sex and couldn’t climax.

I have looked into penis-enlargement surgery but it is too expensive.

I am 23.

It is really destroying my life.

I can’t even think about having a relationship with any girl because of this.

DEIDRE SAYS: You don’t need surgery.

Good sex for women genuinely depends on skills not inches.

Have a check-up with your GP to be sure all is working but your failure to climax was probably down to nerves.

What matters is to be an informed and considerate lover, no matter what size your penis is.

My e-leaflet Manhood Too Small? explains techniques and positions to help.

Partner's drug addiction is tearing family apart

6 I love him but I don't know if I can be with him as it's ruining our lives Credit: Getty Images

Dear Deidre

OUR house was raided and our two children were put on the child protection register and taken from us due to their father’s heavy cannabis use.

We’ve got them back now but it is no thanks to my partner.

He has smoked cannabis since he was a teenager.

He packed it in when our sons, who are five and two, were taken away.

But he’s started smoking and doing things behind our backs.

He says he loves me and the kids but I am beginning to doubt it.

I am 29 and he is 30.

We’ve been together for eight years.

I am starting to feel like I don’t want to be with him.

DEIDRE SAYS: Loving a man like this makes your life an emotional roller-coaster.

He won’t change unless he decides to get help.

Stand firm.

He’s far more likely to make the break with cannabis when he realises he will lose you otherwise.

Speak to FRANK (talkto frank.com, 0300 123 6600).

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