A new report by the Pew Research Center predicts that as many as one in four millennials will never get married, in part because they aren’t as financially stable and in part because they don’t regard marriage as highly as did their parents’ generation. Here are some pros and cons of never getting married:

PROS

Less pressure for side-by-side burial plots

Don’t have to sacrifice your goat on wedding day

Avenges all the mistakes your parents made raising you

Will get to have sex with a different attractive person every night for the rest of your life

Children can grow up steeped in dizzying ambiguities

Rebuilding America by avoiding needless tax benefits

Can live life unfettered by oppressive institution that represents undying love for person you care for more than anything in world


CONS