The Legendary Uncle David. Those are his real pecs.

As far back as I can remember, my Uncle David has always sent me a box of junk on my birthday.

I use the word “junk” loosely – past boxes have included everything from a genie lamp (not junk), to a giant model ear (junk, unless you’re an ENT), to Virginia “Ginny” Hronek’s real estate calendar (100% absolute shitjunk).

Uncle David’s Giant Ear (Box of Junk 2015)

Basically, anything Uncle David has hand-picked, hoarded, or considered throwing in the trash ends up in the box. Mostly the last one.

The boxes of junk typically contain about 20–30 items, each with twists, turns and surprises. For example, Uncle David will take a coin from 1974 he found in his desk, write “hey alex” on a post-it note and stick it to the coin, wrap the coin in tape, place the coin at the bottom of a ring box (Uncle David is a jeweler), cover it with a Preparation H portable wipe, close the jewelry box, wrap it in more tape, toss it in the box, repeat.

Uncle David’s Preparation H (Box of Junk 2012)

The other day, I arrive home and find a cardboard box on my doorstep. My birthday was the next day, so I had a feeling I knew who the box was from.

When I opened it, that feeling was confirmed.