Well this is fucking surreal, isn’t it? Various countries around the planet are going into lockdown or semi-quarantine states in order to slow the spread of a contagious disease. If you’re anything like me, you’re tired, you’re stressed out, and you’re struggling to get to grips with whatever this might mean in the long term.

In the short term, for the love of god, wash your fucking hands.

I’ve been trying to view this as a bit of an opportunity, or as much of one as I possibly can. I’m lucky enough to be able to work from home, but even if you’re not, you’re still stuck there, as I am, with potentially lots of time on your hands. So let’s get to it.

Mani-pedi time!

Got some time to kill in-between meetings? I did my nails the other day. I haven’t done my nails in LITERALLY YEARS, opting to hit up a nail salon with a friend instead and catch up on life. Well, I guess we won’t be doing that any time soon! My day on tuesday ended up being a bit scattered with meetings throughout the day, and a few 15-min gaps to break things up. In those gaps, I picked a body part and applied a base coat, then waited for my next gap, did a layer of polish, next gap, layer of polish, next gap, top-coat.

My nail-polish skills are definitely sub-par. But the day after, having completed a solid scrub to detach any polish stuck to the surrounding skin, I actually ended up with something decent. Go me!

AND now I have some nice nails to look at! Score!

Accent nail is my jam

Alright, settle down, perverts

Hack the planet eyebrow-forest

I also haven’t gotten my eyebrows done in a while. Doing my eyebrows actually freaks me out a bit. What if I pluck too much! Ruin my arch! Go nuts and rip the whole caterpillar out of there without thinking! (I have come close to this. My wife laughed at me. I coloured the gap in in with an eyebrow pencil). Rummaging around in our medicine cabinet for a razor for my legs, I stumbled across a packet of eyebrow razors that my wife bought as an experiment. I genuinely forgot they existed, but after some quick swipes, I actually got to a place where I didn’t feel entirely like wolf-boy. I’m actually pretty pleased about this, and so this might be my go-to from now in, instead of occasionally dropping $30 on an eyebrow-wax + tip.

Not bad! By no means perfect up close, but a solid simulcra of legit brows from six feet away #SocialDistancing

Smooth pins

Look. You’re indoors, you’re not going anywhere. You like smooth legs, right? Shave your goddamn legs.

Seriously though. When I dress up, I usually am pretty meticulous about making sure I get every little sneaky follicle that might be hiding. I haven’t been dressing up though (yet!) and I’ve been taking the approach of just making sure I’m relatively smooth. There’s some odd missed-patches of hair like a badly-mown lawn, but hey, maybe I’ll get those tomorrow! Roombas do reasonably well with their random-walks, sucking up most of the dirt in your filthy carpets. Just think of this slapdash approach as the razor-equivalent of a Roomba – you’re getting most of the way to where you want with a lot less effort :D If that’s not a mantra to live by, I don’t know what is.

Don’t mind me, just catching some rays

Dressing up

You’re at home. If you’re working and don’t have to talk to anyone, go the whole hog if you’re worried about it. If you’re out and don’t give a shit, like me, then dress up :D If you’re talking to people all day, and you’re not out, use this opportunity to wear a skirt or some heels or some tights or some panties. No one’s gonna see that shit. I spent all day in my work glasses, and my work t-shirt (what?) and a cozy pair of leggings. That’s my jam rn.

Chilin’

This post is half jokey, half serious. But really, we are living through some curious, uncertain, stressful times. Focus on staying well, staying healthy, and staying sane. If painting your nails, grooming your eyebrows, shaving your legs and wearing a skirt helps you deal, then go for it.

But wash your fucking hands.