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Achievement Description

Unpaid Assistant Hire your first Intern.

Downtrodden Workhorse Hire 50 Interns.

Exploitable Laborer Hire 100 Interns.

Lumpenproletariat Hire 150 Interns.

Bewildered Herd Hire 200 Interns.

The Underclass Hire 250 Interns.

Work Will Set You Free Hire 300 Interns.

Untouchable Hire 350 Interns.

The Surplus Valuable Hire 400 Interns.

Materially Conditioned Hire 450 Interns.

The Alienated Essence Hire 500 Interns.

Office Drone Hire your first Wage Slave.

Working Stiff Hire 50 Wage Slaves.

Cubicle Connoisseur Hire 100 Wage Slaves.

Employee of the Month Hire 150 Wage Slaves.

Weekend Warrior Hire 200 Wage Slaves.

Burning Both Ends Hire 250 Wage Slaves.

Salaryman Hire 300 Wage Slaves.

Quietly Desperate Hire 350 Wage Slaves.

Withering Serf Hire 400 Wage Slaves.

The Organization Man Hire 450 Wage Slaves.

I'm Henry Dubb! Hire 500 Wage Slaves.

Struggling Sadsack Hire your first Sales Hotshot.

Door-to-Door Charlatan Hire 50 Sales Hotshots.

Snake Oil Sweet-Talker Hire 100 Sales Hotshots.

Telephone Terrorist Hire 150 Sales Hotshots.

Master of the Pipeline Hire 200 Sales Hotshots.

Creator of Demand Hire 250 Sales Hotshots.

Good Quarterly Numbers Hire 300 Sales Hotshots.

Landed and Expanded Hire 350 Sales Hotshots.

Silver Tongued Hire 400 Sales Hotshots.

Fun Boss Hire your first Middle Manager.

Corporate Loyalist Hire 50 Middle Managers.

Company Man Hire 100 Middle Managers.

A Team Player Hire 150 Middle Managers.

True Believer Hire 200 Middle Managers.

Upwardly Mobile Hire 250 Middle Managers.

Lifer Hire 300 Middle Managers.

Ladder Climber Hire 350 Middle Managers.

Petite Bourgeoisie Hire 400 Middle Managers.

Thought Leader Hire your first C-Level.

Change Agent Hire 50 C-Levels.

A Clear-Eyed Realist Hire 100 C-Levels.

The Name on the Door Hire 150 C-Levels.

Sub-Prime Leader Hire 200 C-Levels.

Job Creator Hire 250 C-Levels.

Too Big to Fail Hire 300 C-Levels.

Fearless Leader Hire 350 C-Levels.

The Corner Office Hire 400 C-Levels.

Privileged Hire your first Blue Blood.

Upper-Class Twit Hire 50 Blue Bloods.

Old Money Hire 100 Blue Bloods.

Plutocrat Hire 150 Blue Bloods.

The Ruling Class Hire 200 Blue Bloods.

Haute Bourgeoisie Hire 250 Blue Bloods.

Neo-Feudal Lord Hire 300 Blue Bloods.

Peak Rentier Hire 350 Blue Bloods.

Manorialist Hire 400 Blue Bloods.

Officer Friendly Hire your first Privatized Cop.

Crime Dog Hire 50 Privatized Cops.

Reasonably Suspicious Hire 100 Privatized Cops.

Thin Blue Line Hire 150 Privatized Cops.

Blue Lives Matter Hire 200 Privatized Cops.

User of Force Hire 250 Privatized Cops.

We Love Our Cops Hire 300 Privatized Cops.

Stopped and Frisked Hire 350 Privatized Cops.

Qualifiedly Immune Hire 400 Privatized Cops.

Fresh-Faced Candidate Hire your first Pocket Politician.

Elected Official Hire 50 Pocket Politicians.

Elder Statesman Hire 100 Pocket Politicians.

Crony Capitalist Hire 150 Pocket Politicians.

Maverick Hire 200 Pocket Politicians.

The General Will Hire 250 Pocket Politicians.

Contracted with America Hire 300 Pocket Politicians.

Lord of the Swamp Hire 350 Pocket Politicians.

True Patriot Hire 400 Pocket Politicians.

Peacekeeper Hire your first Mercenary Group.

War Profiteer Hire 50 Mercenary Groups.

Jolly Green Giant Hire 100 Mercenary Groups.

Les Enfants Terrible Hire 150 Mercenary Groups.

Mission Accomplished Hire 200 Mercenary Groups.

Esquadrão da Morte Hire 250 Mercenary Groups.

The Absence of Alternatives Hire 300 Mercenary Groups.

Mutually Assured Destroyer Hire 350 Mercenary Groups.

Shocked and Awed Hire 400 Mercenary Groups.

Globalizer Hire your first Client State.

Domino Champ Hire 50 Client States.

Good Neighbor Hire 100 Client States.

International Monetary Fun! Hire 150 Client States.

Destiny Manifested Hire 200 Client States.

Roosevelt Correlated Hire 250 Client States.

Mission Civilisatrice Hire 300 Client States.

The Most Urgent Fury Hire 350 Client States.

We Came, We Saw, He Died Hire 400 Client States.

Deep State Hire your first Shadow Government.

One-World Globalist Hire 50 Shadow Governments.

Homeland Eradicator of Local Militants Hire 100 Shadow Governments.

New World Order Hire 150 Shadow Governments.

La-li-lu-le-lo Hire 200 Shadow Governments.

Consent Engineer Hire 250 Shadow Governments.

The Fifth Column Hire 300 Shadow Governments.

I Am Part of the Resistance Hire 350 Shadow Governments.

The Powers That Be Hire 400 Shadow Governments.

All-Seeing Hire your first Puppetmaster.

Bilderberger Hire 50 Puppetmasters.

Lost Lemurian Hire 100 Puppetmasters.

Babylonian Brother Hire 150 Puppetmasters.

G.A.O.T.U. Hire 200 Puppetmasters.

The Annunaki of Nibiru Hire 250 Puppetmasters.

The Primordial Ba'al Hire 300 Puppetmasters.

Thoth the Atlantean Priest-King Hire 350 Puppetmasters.

The Esoteric Order of Dagon Hire 400 Puppetmasters.

Corner Store Raise the number of Employees Employed to 25.

Local Establishment Raise the number of Employees Employed to 100.

Big-Box Factory Raise the number of Employees Employed to 250.

Sprawling Industrial Wasteland Raise the number of Employees Employed to 500.

Faceless Multinational Corporation Raise the number of Employees Employed to 1,000.

All-Powerful Global Conglomerate Raise the number of Employees Employed to 1,500.

Dystopian Imperial Cartel Raise the number of Employees Employed to 2,000.

Timeless Secret Cabal Raise the number of Employees Employed to 2,500.

Primordial Global Conspiracy Raise the number of Employees Employed to 3,000.

Ancient Byzantine Institution Raise the number of Employees Employed to 3,500.

Unstoppable World-Spanning Horde Raise the number of Employees Employed to 4,000.

Gibbering Corporate Mass Raise the number of Employees Employed to 4,500.

Antediluvian Hive-Mind Raise the number of Employees Employed to 5,000.

In the Black Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $1.

Ramen Profitable Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $100.

Dry Powdered Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $1,000.

Minimally Viable Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $10,000.

Incubated Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $1 million.

Growth Hacked Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $10 million.

Seed Accelerated Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $100 million.

The Three Commas Club Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $1 billion.

Rapidly Pivoting Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $10 billion.

Hockey Stick Growth Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $100 billion.

Market Cannibal Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $1 trillion.

Growth-Oriented Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $10 trillion.

800-Pound Gorilla Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $100 trillion.

The Five Commas Club Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $1 quadrillion.

Running Fat Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $10 quadrillion.

Moving Fast & Breaking Everything Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $100 quadrillion.

Glamorous Glennis Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $1 quintillion.

Terminal Income Velocity Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $10 quintillion.

80-Million-Pound Gorilla Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $100 quintillion.

The Seven Commas Club Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $1 sextillion.

Faster-than-Light Growth Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $10 sextillion.

Gravimetric Revenue Displacement Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $100 sextillion.

Mandeville Pointed Raise the amount of Cash Earned Per Second (Minus Investments) to $1 septillion.

Monetized Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $100.

Piggy Banker Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $10,000.

Flush with Cash Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $100,000.

Self-Made Millionaire Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $1 million.

The 1% Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $10 million.

Fat Cat Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $100 million.

Unicorn Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $1 billion.

Off-Shore Accountant Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $10 billion.

Industrialist Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $100 billion.

Old Moneybags Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $1 trillion.

Robber Baron Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $10 trillion.

The .0001% Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $100 trillion.

Teracorn Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $1 quadrillion.

Landed Gentry Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $10 quadrillion.

Daddy Warbucks Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $100 quadrillion.

Titan of Industry Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $1 quintillion.

Randian Hero Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $10 quintillion.

The 0.0000001% Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $100 quintillion.

Preternatually Wealthy Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $1 sextillion.

Four-Dimensional Capitalist Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $10 sextillion.

Supernatural Magnate Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $100 sextillion.

Cosmic Tycoon Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $1 septillion.

Trilateral Commissioner Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $10 septillion.

Lord of the Round Table Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $100 septillion.

Malthusian Trapper Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $1 octillion.

Destroyer of Worlds Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $10 octillion.

The Sum Total of the Universe Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $100 octillion.

Alpha and Omega Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $1 nonillion.

Annuit Cœptis Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $10 nonillion.

Universal Dominion Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $100 nonillion.

Immanentized Eschaton Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $1 decillion.

The Abomination of Desolation Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $10 decillion.

The 0.000000000000000001% Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $100 decillion.

Grande Bourgeoisie Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $100 decillion.

Mansa Musa Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $1 undecillion.

The Whole Heaven is Mine Raise the amount of Cash Earned in Total to $10 undecillion.

Innovator Raise the number of Upgrades Owned to 10.

Disruptor Raise the number of Upgrades Owned to 50.

Game Changer Raise the number of Upgrades Owned to 100.

Paradigm Shifter Raise the number of Upgrades Owned to 150.

Bleeding Edge Visionary Raise the number of Upgrades Owned to 200.

Reshaper of Worlds Raise the number of Upgrades Owned to 250.

Universal Flux Raise the number of Upgrades Owned to 300.

The Lord of Change Raise the number of Upgrades Owned to 350.

Unlimited Vicissitude Raise the number of Upgrades Owned to 400.

Fully Metamorphosed Raise the number of Upgrades Owned to 450.

Completionist Buy every single Upgrade.

Founder Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $10.

Self-starter Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $500.

Hands-On Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $10,000.

Micromanager Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $1 million.

In The Trenches Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $100 million.

Incapable of Delegation Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $1 billion.

Monstrous Work Ethic Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $100 billion.

One Man Army Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $1 trillion.

Brute Forcer Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $100 trillion.

Fiercely Independent Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $1 quadrillion.

Wearer of Multiple Hats Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $100 quadrillion.

Full-Stack Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $1 quintillion.

Rockstar Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $100 quintillion.

Wearer of All Hats Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $1 sextillion.

The Roarkian Ideal Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $100 sextillion.

Low-Functioning Sociopath Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $1 septillion.

Lisan al Gaib Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $100 septillion.

Ubermensch Raise the amount of Cash Earned by Clicking to $1 octillion.

Pretty Much Just Lucky Raise the amount of Cash Earned During Windfalls to $1 billion.

Committed Crapshooter Raise the amount of Cash Earned During Windfalls to $100 billion.

On A Roll Raise the amount of Cash Earned During Windfalls to $1 trillion.

Nothing but Aces Raise the amount of Cash Earned During Windfalls to $100 trillion.

Catching all the Breaks Raise the amount of Cash Earned During Windfalls to $1 quadrillion.

Seven-Leaf Clover Raise the amount of Cash Earned During Windfalls to $100 quadrillion.

Highest Possible Roller Raise the amount of Cash Earned During Windfalls to $1 quintillion.

Non-Stop Jackpot Winner Raise the amount of Cash Earned During Windfalls to $100 quintillion.

A Deal with the Devil Raise the amount of Cash Earned During Windfalls to $1 sextillion.

4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42 Raise the amount of Cash Earned During Windfalls to $100 sextillion.

Seven-Million-Leaf Clover Raise the amount of Cash Earned During Windfalls to $1 septillion.

Unstoppable Terrifying Luck Raise the amount of Cash Earned During Windfalls to $100 septillion.

Sick and Tired of Winning Raise the amount of Cash Earned During Windfalls to $1 octillion.

Strike Gold Experience your first Windfall.

Fortune Favors the Fortunate Experience a total of 25 Windfalls across all of your businesses.

Everything's Coming Up Milhouse Experience a total of 100 Windfalls across all of your businesses.

Well-Deserved Winnings Experience a total of 250 Windfalls across all of your businesses.

Luck Had Nothing to Do With It Experience a total of 500 Windfalls across all of your businesses.

Lots of Clicking Manually Click a total of 1,000 times across all of your businesses.

You Have Clicked Too Much Manually Click a total of 10,000 times across all of your businesses.

It's Too Many Clicks Manually Click a total of 25,000 times across all of your businesses.

Lots of Clicks, Maybe Too Many Manually Click a total of 50,000 times across all of your businesses.

Basically Too Much Clicking Manually Click a total of 75,000 times across all of your businesses.

You Clicked Too Many Times Manually Click a total of 100,000 times across all of your businesses.

Meritocrat Just get lucky.

The Chosen One Just get really lucky.

Hard-Earned Just get really, very lucky.

Lunch Breaker Spend a total of 1 hour earning Idle income across all of your businesses.

Eight Hours Rest Spend a total of 8 hours earning Idle income across all of your businesses.

The Keynesian Dream Spend a total of 15 hours earning Idle income across all of your businesses.

All In A Day's Work Spend a total of 1 day earning Idle income across all of your businesses.

Two-Day Weekend Spend a total of 2 days earning Idle income across all of your businesses.

Unlimited Vacation Days Spend a total of 5 days earning Idle income across all of your businesses.

Hands-Off Raise the amount of Idle Bonus Cash Earned to $1 million.

Born Leader Raise the amount of Idle Bonus Cash Earned to $1 billion.

Basically Lazy Raise the amount of Idle Bonus Cash Earned to $1 trillion.

Passive Observer Raise the amount of Idle Bonus Cash Earned to $1 quadrillion.

The Means of Production Raise the amount of Idle Bonus Cash Earned to $1 quintillion.

Variable Capitalizer Raise the amount of Idle Bonus Cash Earned to $1 sextillion.

Perpetual Motion Machine Raise the amount of Idle Bonus Cash Earned to $1 septillion.

Reverse Universal Heat Death Raise the amount of Idle Bonus Cash Earned to $1 octillion.

Kicked Back Earn a total of $1 million while away.

Master Delegator Earn a total of $1 billion while away.

The Idle Class Earn a total of $1 trillion while away.

Deadbeat Decision-Maker Earn a total of $1 quadrillion while away.

Wealth Begets Wealth Earn a total of $1 quintillion while away.

The Mostly Invisible Hand Earn a total of $1 sextillion while away.

Infinite Self-Replication Earn a total of $1 septillion while away.

Please Advise Answer your first Email.

Best Regards Answer 100 total Emails across all of your businesses.

Reaching Out Answer 250 total Emails across all of your businesses.

Thanks in Advance Answer 1,000 total Emails across all of your businesses.

Touching Base Answer 2,500 total Emails across all of your businesses.

Circle Back Answer 5,000 total Emails across all of your businesses.

Loop Me In Answer 7,500 total Emails across all of your businesses.

Let's Take This Offline Answer 10,000 total Emails across all of your businesses.

No Rush Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Expired Emails to $1 billion.

Just Checking In... Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Expired Emails to $1 trillion.

Any Update Here? Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Expired Emails to $1 quadrillion.

Haven't Heard Back... Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Expired Emails to $1 quintillion.

Please Answer, Please Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Expired Emails to $1 sextillion.

Are You Getting These? Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Expired Emails to $1 septillion.

Screaming into the Void Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Expired Emails to $1 octillion.

Must Have Missed This Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Expired Emails to $1 nonillion.

Haver of Bandwidth Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Fresh Emails to $1 billion.

On the Ball Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Fresh Emails to $1 trillion.

Lightning Reflexes Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Fresh Emails to $1 quadrillion.

Quickest Draw Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Fresh Emails to $1 quintillion.

Ever Vigilant Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Fresh Emails to $1 sextillion.

Highest-Strung Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Fresh Emails to $1 septillion.

Finger on the Button Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Fresh Emails to $1 octillion.

Ready to Strike Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Fresh Emails to $1 nonillion.

Lead Magnet Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $1 million.

Low-Hanging Fruitarian Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $100 million.

Webinar Wizard Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $1 billion.

Customer Courtier Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $100 billion.

Whitepaper Wunderkind Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $1 trillion.

Greenfield Territorialist Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $100 trillion.

LinkedIn Luminary Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $1 quadrillion.

Fully Qualified Leader Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $100 quadrillion.

Market Penetrator Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $1 quintillion.

Pipeline Prophet Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $100 quintillion.

Always Been Closing Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $1 sextillion.

Champion of the Process Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $100 sextillion.

Customer Relationship Master Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $1 septillion.

Imperial Lord of Leads Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $100 septillion.

The Divine Right of Sales Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $1 octillion.

The Odic Sales Force Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $100 octillion.

The Inbox of the Covenant Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $1 nonillion.

Where There's Leads, I Will Follow Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $100 nonillion.

Salesman of the Epoch Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $1 decillion.

Fully Churned Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Emails to $100 decillion.

Functionally Literate Feverishly type 500 smart words in the replies to your Emails.

Prolific Writer Feverishly type 2,500 smart words in the replies to your Emails.

Warrior Poet Feverishly type 10,000 smart words in the replies to your Emails.

Literary Giant Feverishly type 25,000 smart words in the replies to your Emails.

Bound in Blood Feverishly type 50,000 smart words in the replies to your Emails.

Mavis Beacon Feverishly type 100,000 smart words in the replies to your Emails.

Procrastinator Answer an Email with 1 second remaining on the timer.

Prompt Responder Answer an Email within 1 second of receiving it.

Very Polite Use the sender's full name in your response to an email.

Very Rude Say something very rude in a chat message.

Talk the Talk Use at least 1 very meaningful business word in an email.

Lingoism Use at least 5 different very meaningful business words in a single email.

How's That Boot Taste? Utter the name of the acquisition's founder in a chat message.

Shop Talk Mention at least one of the acquisition's products in a chat message.

Proactive Leadership Prematurely request that your employees all be fired in a chat message.

Spam Disposal Mark at least 10 Emails as read at once.

Just Catching Up Mark at least 25 Emails as read at once.

Sorry for the Delayed Response Mark at least 50 Emails as read at once.

On Call Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Urgent Emails to $1 billion.

First Responder Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Urgent Emails to $100 billion.

Putting Out Fires Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Urgent Emails to $1 trillion.

Restless Defender Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Urgent Emails to $100 trillion.

Dynamic Problem Solver Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Urgent Emails to $1 quadrillion.

Emergency Prepared Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Urgent Emails to $100 quadrillion.

Disaster Reliever Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Urgent Emails to $1 quintillion.

Mission Critical Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Urgent Emails to $100 quintillion.

Firehose Recipient Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Urgent Emails to $1 sextillion.

Struggling Insomniac Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Urgent Emails to $100 sextillion.

Bloodshot & Shaking Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Urgent Emails to $1 septillion.

Broken Spirit Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Urgent Emails to $100 septillion.

Staring Dead-Eyed at the Inbox Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Urgent Emails to $1 octillion.

Get Back to Me by EOD Answer your first Urgent Email.

Please Respond ASAP Answer 25 total Urgent Emails across all of your businesses.

You Have to Expedite This Answer 100 total Urgent Emails across all of your businesses.

I Need it Yesterday Answer 250 total Urgent Emails across all of your businesses.

Everything is a Priority Answer 500 total Urgent Emails across all of your businesses.

Dabbler Cash out your first Investment.

Diversified Cash out a total of 25 hours in Investments across all of your businesses.

Angel Investor Cash out a total of 100 hours in Investments across all of your businesses.

Venture Capitalist Cash out a total of 250 hours in Investments across all of your businesses.

Elephant Hunter Cash out a total of 500 hours in Investments across all of your businesses.

Master Financier Cash out a total of 1,000 hours in Investments across all of your businesses.

The Central Bank Cash out a total of 2,000 hours in Investments across all of your businesses.

Scalper Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Short Investments to $1 billion.

Day Trader Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Short Investments to $1 quadrillion.

Rapid Fire Speculator Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Short Investments to $1 sextillion.

Set It and Forget It Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Long Investments to $1 trillion.

Playing the Long Game Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Long Investments to $1 quintillion.

Until the End of Time Raise the amount of Cash Earned From Long Investments to $1 septillion.

Premature Cash out an Investment that had only brewed for 1 minute.

Tactical Trading Cash out an Investment that had stewed for at least 1 full hour.

A Fair Day's Wage Cash out an Investment that had fermented for 1 full day.

Always Bullish Milk a total of $1 billion in earnings from Investments.

Chasing Returns Milk a total of $100 billion in earnings from Investments.

A Leg Up on the Pile Milk a total of $1 trillion in earnings from Investments.

Penny Stock Pro Milk a total of $100 trillion in earnings from Investments.

Maximized Leverager Milk a total of $1 quadrillion in earnings from Investments.

Blue Chip Bigwig Milk a total of $100 quadrillion in earnings from Investments.

Sick Capital Gains Milk a total of $1 quintillion in earnings from Investments.

Dividend Destroyer Milk a total of $100 quintillion in earnings from Investments.

Ear to Ear, Baby Milk a total of $1 sextillion in earnings from Investments.

Master of Margins Milk a total of $100 sextillion in earnings from Investments.

Currency Manipulator Milk a total of $1 septillion in earnings from Investments.

The World Banker Milk a total of $100 septillion in earnings from Investments.

Broker of Mammon Milk a total of $1 octillion in earnings from Investments.

No Limits to Growth Milk a total of $100 octillion in earnings from Investments.

Brownian Ratcheter Milk a total of $1 nonillion in earnings from Investments.

Infinite Returns Milk a total of $100 nonillion in earnings from Investments.

Maximum Alpha Milk a total of $1 decillion in earnings from Investments.

Rated by the Morning Star Milk a total of $100 decillion in earnings from Investments.

Winners Never Quit Cancel an Investment before it has matured.

Quitters Never Win Cancel 10 Investments before they have matured.

Initial Patent Offering Sell a Patent for the first time.

More of an Ideas Person Sell 100 Patents across all of your businesses.

Churning Out Innovation Sell 250 Patents across all of your businesses.

Le Epic Bacon Genius Sell 1,000 Patents across all of your businesses.

Rearden Metallic Sell 2,500 Patents across all of your businesses.

1% Inspiration Sell 5,000 Patents across all of your businesses.

The Man Who Thought Different Sell 10,000 Patents across all of your businesses.

Edisonian Sell 25,000 Patents across all of your businesses.

The Wind of Change Sell 50,000 Patents across all of your businesses.

Reinventer of Wheels Sell 100,000 Patents across all of your businesses.

OSHA Doesn't Need to Know Discover that 1 of your employees couldn't handle hard work.

Acceptable Losses Discover that 10 of your employees couldn't handle hard work.

Blue-Sky Thinker Haul a total of $1 trillion in earnings from Research.

Finger on the Pulse Haul a total of $100 trillion in earnings from Research.

Bizmeth Artisan Haul a total of $1 quadrillion in earnings from Research.

Focus Group Fanatic Haul a total of $100 quadrillion in earnings from Research.

User Storyteller Haul a total of $1 quintillion in earnings from Research.

Big-Game Coolhunter Haul a total of $100 quintillion in earnings from Research.

Blue Ocean Strategist Haul a total of $1 sextillion in earnings from Research.

Market Diviner Haul a total of $100 sextillion in earnings from Research.

Harbinger of Trends Haul a total of $1 septillion in earnings from Research.

Militarized Market Surveyor Haul a total of $100 septillion in earnings from Research.

Business Omniscient Haul a total of $1 octillion in earnings from Research.

The Eye of Market Providence Haul a total of $100 octillion in earnings from Research.

Trend Predestination Haul a total of $1 nonillion in earnings from Research.

Ahead of All Curves Haul a total of $100 nonillion in earnings from Research.

Early Editioner Haul a total of $1 decillion in earnings from Research.

Keeper of Secret Knowledge Haul a total of $100 decillion in earnings from Research.

Hoarder Keep at least 10 Patents in storage at one time.

Rapid Ideation Sell or store a Patent with a Speed Boost of at least 100%

Cyclonic Brainstormer Sell or store a Patent with a Speed Boost of at least 200%

The Wild Black Yonder Sell or store a Patent with a Speed Boost of at least 400%

Superluminal Thinker Sell or store a Patent with a Speed Boost of at least 600%

Failing Fast Sell or store a Patent with a Speed Boost of at least 800%

The Spirit of America Sell or store a Patent with a Speed Boost of at least 1,000%

Prime Deliverable Sell or store a Patent with a Value Boost of at least 100%

Supplied & Demanded Sell or store a Patent with a Value Boost of at least 200%

Best of Breed Sell or store a Patent with a Value Boost of at least 400%

Most Valuable Patent Sell or store a Patent with a Value Boost of at least 600%

Million Dollar Idea Sell or store a Patent with a Value Boost of at least 800%

The Tavernier Blue Sell or store a Patent with a Value Boost of at least 1,000%

Trimming the Fat Scrape a total of $1 sextillion in earnings from Acquisitions.

Professional Liquidator Scrape a total of $10 sextillion in earnings from Acquisitions.

Everything Must Go Scrape a total of $100 sextillion in earnings from Acquisitions.

Fire Sale Afficionado Scrape a total of $1 septillion in earnings from Acquisitions.

Leave No Trace Scrape a total of $10 septillion in earnings from Acquisitions.

Nothing on the Inside Scrape a total of $100 septillion in earnings from Acquisitions.

Universal Acquisition Scrape a total of $1 octillion in earnings from Acquisitions.

The Giant Void Scrape a total of $100 octillion in earnings from Acquisitions.

100% Unemployment Scrape a total of $1 nonillion in earnings from Acquisitions.

Fully Optimized Workforce Scrape a total of $100 nonillion in earnings from Acquisitions.

Today's Companies, Tomorrow's Ashes Scrape a total of $1 decillion in earnings from Acquisitions.

The Elephant's Graveyard Scrape a total of $100 decillion in earnings from Acquisitions.

Temporarily Embarrassed Millionaires Hire 10 total Personal Assistants in a single Acquisition.

Personnel Realignment Specialists Hire 10 total Financial Consultants in a single Acquisition.

The Freddie Mac Award for Ethics Hire 10 total Independent Auditors in a single Acquisition.

The Protectors of Our Industries Hire 10 total Executive Financiers in a single Acquisition.

Falsely Conscious Hire 20 total Personal Assistants in a single Acquisition.

For A Goddamn Percentage Hire 20 total Financial Consultants in a single Acquisition.

Just Enough Cooks Hire 20 total Independent Auditors in a single Acquisition.

Company Cultural Hegemony Hire 20 total Executive Financiers in a single Acquisition.

Now, Hold On, Mr. Potter Sell a fully smartsized Acquisition of no more than 10,000 employees.

Behold Now Behemoth Sell a fully smartsized Acquisition with at least 1 million employees.

Loss Leader Sell an Acquisition for less than your initial Investment was worth.

Quick Question... Complete a Chat in an Acquisition for the first time.

All Talk and Some Action Complete Chats at least 10 times across all businesses.

Logorrheic Professionalism Complete Chats at least 50 times across all businesses.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Complete Chats at least 100 times across all businesses.

Several People Are Typing Have 8 concurrent Chats filling your chat box.

Social Butterfly Devote at least 100 words to your various Chats.

The Office Gossip Devote at least 1,000 words to your various Chats.

Rapid Innovation Accept 10 total New Policies at the same time.

Under New Management Accept your first New Policy in an Acquisition.

Making Some Big Changes Accept 25 total New Policies in Acquisitions across all of your businesses.

A New Sheriff In Town Accept 100 total New Policies in Acquisitions across all of your businesses.

Not Here To Make Friends Accept 250 total New Policies in Acquisitions across all of your businesses.

This is a Business Accept 500 total New Policies in Acquisitions across all of your businesses.

Synergy-Related Adjustments Conduct your first Massive Layoff in an Acquisition.

Realignment of Growth Opportunities Conduct 25 total Massive Layoffs in Acquisitions across all of your businesses.

Total Organizational Streamlining Conduct 100 total Massive Layoffs in Acquisitions across all of your businesses.

Maximization of Throughput Conduct 250 total Massive Layoffs in Acquisitions across all of your businesses.

This Time, It's Personnel Conduct 500 total Massive Layoffs in Acquisitions across all of your businesses.

Must Have Missed a Decimal Point Brazenly Fudge the Numbers in an Acquisition for the first time.

Cooker of Books Brazenly Fudge the Numbers a total of 10 times across all businesses.

Tobashi Schemer Brazenly Fudge the Numbers a total of 50 times across all businesses.

The Telecom Cowboy Brazenly Fudge the Numbers a total of 100 times across all businesses.

But Failure is Not a Crime Brazenly Fudge the Numbers a total of 250 times across all businesses.

Cronyist Receive $10 septillion in kickbacks from Elections.

Greased Palms Receive $100 septillion in kickbacks from Elections.

Pay to Play Receive $1 octillion in kickbacks from Elections.

Influence Peddler Receive $10 octillion in kickbacks from Elections.

Quid Pro Quo Receive $100 octillion in kickbacks from Elections.

Mr. Ten Percent Receive $1 nonillion in kickbacks from Elections.

Boss Tweed Receive $10 nonillion in kickbacks from Elections.

Tangentopoli Receive $100 nonillion in kickbacks from Elections.

The Golden Goose Receive $1 decillion in kickbacks from Elections.

Raubwirtschaft Receive $10 decillion in kickbacks from Elections.

Friends in High Places Receive $100 decillion in kickbacks from Elections.

Accident-Prone Witness your chosen Election candidate engage in a gaffe.

I'm Nothing You've Heard Witness your chosen Election candidates engage in 100 gaffes.

We Were Wrong, Terribly Wrong Witness your chosen Election candidates engage in 1,000 gaffes.

Tis Done and Cannot Be Revok'd Witness your chosen Election candidates engage in 5,000 gaffes.

Mistakes Were Made Witness your chosen Election candidates engage in 10,000 gaffes.

Gift Horse Donate $1 septillion to Election candidates.

Hard Money Donate $100 septillion to Election candidates.

Campaign Financier Donate $1 octillion to Election candidates.

Philanthropist Donate $100 octillion to Election candidates.

One-Man Super PAC Donate $1 nonillion to Election candidates.

Sow Generously, Reap Generously Donate $100 nonillion to Election candidates.

Maximum Individual Contribution Donate $1 decillion to Election candidates.

Four More Years Win your first Election.

A Stunning Upset Win 100 total Elections.

One-Party State Win 1,000 total Elections.

What Happened Lose your first Election.

Loser Makes Good Lose 100 total Elections.

May God Bless His Stewarship Lose 500 total Elections.

Dewey Defeats Truman Win an Election while polling under 50%.

No Recount Needed Win an Election while polling at 100%.

Wise Investment Donate more cash in an Election than you end up earning.

Would You Like to Know More? Read the full bio of one of your candidates.

Peak Electability Win an Election without making any donations.

Attentive Executive Inspire 1 hour of extra output from your Investments department.

Hawthorne Effective Inspire 10 hours of extra output from your Investments department.

Surveillance Capitalist Inspire 25 hours of extra output from your Investments department.

The Lidless Eye Inspire 50 hours of extra output from your Investments department.

The Great Motivator Inspire 100 hours of extra output from your Investments department.

Above and Beyond Persuade your R&D department to muster 1 hour of extra productivity.

Giver of 110% Persuade your R&D department to muster 10 hours of extra productivity.

Real Artists Ship Persuade your R&D department to muster 25 hours of extra productivity.

Work Harder, Not Smarter Persuade your R&D department to muster 50 hours of extra productivity.

In Search of Excellence Persuade your R&D department to muster 100 hours of extra productivity.

An Eye for Efficiency Assist your Acquisitions department in managing 1 hour of additional firings.

Ruthless Streamliner Assist your Acquisitions department in managing 10 hours of additional firings.

Waste Manager Assist your Acquisitions department in managing 25 hours of additional firings.

Minimum Viable Personnel Assist your Acquisitions department in managing 50 hours of additional firings.

The Leanest Methodology Assist your Acquisitions department in managing 100 hours of additional firings.

So Thoughtful Encourage your Career Development department to cultivate 1 hour of extra productivity.

Mission Stater Encourage your Career Development department to cultivate 10 hours of extra productivity.

Culture Cultivator Encourage your Career Development department to cultivate 25 hours of extra productivity.

Personenkultus Encourage your Career Development department to cultivate 50 hours of extra productivity.

The Eternal Leader Encourage your Career Development department to cultivate 100 hours of extra productivity.

Caretaker Email Human Resources to reduce your employees' Stress Level by a total of 1%.

Interpersonally Skilled Email Human Resources to reduce your employees' Stress Level by a total of 10%.

Corporate Empath Email Human Resources to reduce your employees' Stress Level by a total of 50%.

I Am the Bread of Life Email Human Resources to reduce your employees' Stress Level by a total of 100%.

The Daemon Awakens Have one of your outgoing emails bounce back. (Send to a department that's not doing anything.)

Wordsmith Write your first Outgoing Email.

Content Creator Write 25 total Outgoing Emails across all businesses.

Digital Storyteller Write 100 total Outgoing Emails across all businesses.

The Great Communicator Write 250 total Outgoing Emails across all businesses.

From Your Keyboard to God's Ear Write 500 total Outgoing Emails across all businesses.

Maestro Lettera Write 1,000 total Outgoing Emails across all businesses.

Ascendant Nurturer Reference one of your Active Investments in an Outgoing Email to the Investments department.

Vigilant Prodder Reference the current product being Researched in an Outgoing Email to the R&D department.

Can I Speak to the Manager? Address the founder of your current Acquisition directly in an Outgoing Email to the Acquisitions department.

Tactical Flanking Address an Outgoing Email to somebody currently active in your Acquisition Chat.

Who Cares? Send a blank Outgoing Email to any department.

My Name is My Name Name your business for the first time.

I Declare... Bankruptcy! Declare Bankruptcy for the first time.

Back for More Declare Bankruptcy for the second time.

Serial Entrepeneur Declare Bankruptcy for the fifth time.

Eternal Recurrence Declare Bankruptcy for the tenth time.

Doubled Down Raise your Bankruptcy Multiplier to 2.

Business Decimator Raise your Bankruptcy Multiplier to 10.

And So It Goes... Raise your Bankruptcy Multiplier to 50.

Filing for Chapter 100 Raise your Bankruptcy Multiplier to 100.

The Ghosts of Fallen Businesses Raise your Bankruptcy Multiplier to 500.

The Most Private of Equity Raise your Bankruptcy Multiplier to 1,000.

Choke Their Rivers With Our Bankruptcies Raise your Bankruptcy Multiplier to 2,500.

None More Bankrupt Raise your Bankruptcy Multiplier to 10,000.

The Poincaré Bankruptcy Theorem Raise your Bankruptcy Multiplier to 25,000.

The Bankruptcy that Came to Sarnath Raise your Bankruptcy Multiplier to 50,000.

The Vacuum of Bankruptcy Raise your Bankruptcy Multiplier to 100,000.

Cosmological Bankruptcy Horizon Raise your Bankruptcy Multiplier to 250,000.

Not With a Bang but With a Bankruptcy Raise your Bankruptcy Multiplier to 500,000.

Barely Lifted a Finger Earn at least $100 million while clicking a maximum of 15 times.

Peak Efficiency Earn at least $100 million while clicking a maximum of 1000 times.

A Quick Buck Earn $1 trillion within 1 minute of starting your business.

Instant Success Earn $1 quadrillion within 1 minute of starting your business.

Rapidly Iterating Earn $1 quintillion within 1 minute of starting your business.

Breakneck Speedster Earn $1 sextillion within 1 minute of starting your business.

Maximum Overdrive Earn $1 septillion within 1 minute of starting your business.

The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down Earn $1 octillion within 1 minute of starting your business.

The Bosses Employ 125 each of C-Levels and Blue Bloods.

The Second Estate Employ 175 each of C-Levels and Blue Bloods.

Chain of Command Employ 125 each of Privatized Cops and Pocket Politicians.

The Shoulders of Atlas Employ 175 each of Privatized Cops and Pocket Politicians.

A City Upon a Hill Employ 125 each of Mercenary Groups and Client States.

The Last Best Hope of Earth Employ 175 each of Mercenary Groups and Client States.

Novus Ordo Seclorum Employ 125 each of Shadow Governments and Puppetmasters.

The Imperial Cult of the Goat Employ 175 each of Shadow Governments and Puppetmasters.

High Converters Employ 125 each of Sales Hotshots and Middle Managers.

Called to Action Employ 175 each of Sales Hotshots and Middle Managers.

Bought the World a Coke Employ 225 each of Sales Hotshots and Middle Managers.

Fully Siloed Employ 275 each of Sales Hotshots and Middle Managers.

On Commission Employ 325 each of Sales Hotshots and Middle Managers.

All Sales Final Employ 375 each of Sales Hotshots and Middle Managers.

The Oligarchs Employ 225 each of C-Levels and Blue Bloods.

Omnia Sunt Privatus Employ 275 each of C-Levels and Blue Bloods.

Kleptocracy Employ 325 each of C-Levels and Blue Bloods.

Respect Your Betters Employ 375 each of C-Levels and Blue Bloods.

The Monopoly on Violence Employ 225 each of Privatized Cops and Pocket Politicians.

State Sanctioned Employ 275 each of Privatized Cops and Pocket Politicians.

Sovereign Authorities Employ 325 each of Privatized Cops and Pocket Politicians.

Long Arm of the Law Employ 375 each of Privatized Cops and Pocket Politicians.

The Empire of Liberty Employ 225 each of Mercenary Groups and Client States.

Go West, Young Man Employ 275 each of Mercenary Groups and Client States.

White Man's Burden Employ 325 each of Mercenary Groups and Client States.

The Cause of All Mankind Employ 375 each of Mercenary Groups and Client States.

The Man Behind the Curtain Employ 225 each of Shadow Governments and Puppetmasters.

A Smoke-Filled Room Employ 275 each of Shadow Governments and Puppetmasters.

Éminence Grise Employ 325 each of Shadow Governments and Puppetmasters.

The Blind Idiot God Employ 375 each of Shadow Governments and Puppetmasters.

Nulla Crux, Nulla Corona Employ 500 each of Interns and Wage Slaves.

It's Got a Lot of Numbers In It Stare deep into the void of numbers and charts under Stats at least 50 times.

Look Upon My Works Ogle your accomplishments under Upgrades & Achievements at least 50 times.

Lifetime Learner Delve into Career Development for the first time.

Mind Expansion Push one form of Career Development to at least level 10.

Forbidden Knowledge Push one form of Career Development to at least level 20.

Well-Rounded Earn at least 1 level in every form of Career Development.

Jack of All Trades Earn at least 10 levels in every form of Career Development.

Polymath Earn at least 20 levels in every form of Career Development.

Much Pain, a Little Gain Subject an employee to Training for the first time.

Every Muscle Must be Tight Push an employee to be 100% Trained for the first time.

Just a Bunch of Hunks Push all of your employees to be 100% Trained at once.

Overqualified Push an employee to be 200% Trained for the first time.

Maximum Crunch Push all of your employees to be 200% Trained at once.

What Peak Performance Looks Like Push an employee to be 300% Trained for the first time.

PEPCK-Cmus Employees Push all of your employees to be 300% Trained at once.

Risen and Ground Commit at least 100 hours to employee training across all businesses.

Seeing Some Progress Commit at least 500 hours to employee training across all businesses.

Nose to the Grindstone Commit at least 1,000 hours to employee training across all businesses.

All Work, No Play Commit at least 2,500 hours to employee training across all businesses.

Highest Achiever Commit at least 5,000 hours to employee training across all businesses.

Outlier Commit at least 10,000 hours to employee training across all businesses.

Hello, Mother Leopard Receive a Cryptic Email for the first time.

Spirit Cooked Add 1,000 to your Next Bankruptcy Bonus through Cryptic Emails.

Be Cautious They Are Not Human Add 10,000 to your Next Bankruptcy Bonus through Cryptic Emails.

Harbinger of the Storm Add 100,000 to your Next Bankruptcy Bonus through Cryptic Emails.

Fresh New Startup Experience at least 1 full hour of business successes.

Established Corporation Experience at least 1 full day of business successes.

Historic Institution Experience at least 1 full week of business successes.

Legendary Conglomerate Experience at least 2 full weeks of business successes.

All-Encompassing System Experience at least 3 full weeks of business successes.

Ancient Cyclopean Construct Experience at least 1 full month of business successes.

Big Spender Hire at least 10 Employees at once.

Hiring Spree Hire at least 25 Employees at once.

Infinitely Scalable Hire at least 100 Employees at once.

Decimator Fire at least 10 Employees at once.

Firing Spree Fire at least 25 Employees at once.

Rightsizing! Fire at least 100 Employees at once.

Benny, Bring Me Everyone Fire everyone. (Possibly only available after having hired Puppetmasters.)

Make Total Employ Employ at least 1 employee of each type.

Some of Each Employ at least 50 employees of each type.

Plenty to Go Around Employ at least 100 employees of each type.

Maybe Too Many Now Employ at least 150 employees of each type.

Pretty Much All of 'Em Employ at least 200 employees of each type.

Even More of 'Em Employ at least 250 employees of each type.

Definitely Too Many Employ at least 300 employees of each type.

It's Gone Too Far Employ at least 350 employees of each type.

This Must End Employ at least 400 employees of each type.

Cautious Export your game data for the first time.