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We’ve all had those real gnarly poos where we’ve had to wipe down our hamstrings to get rid of all the poo water after our turds hit the surface with such velocity that it sent spray everywhere.

You look down at the porcelain and it looks like Jackson Pollock during his Earth Tones period.

Now, imagine you have that kinda poo coming, but you don’t have a toilet. You are now Chas Cox of Glastonbury.

He stopped to shit on a street, and his feces came out with such force that the poo ricocheted off the ground and on to a small child. From the Central Somerset Gazette:

Prosecutor Christine Hart said that the defendant was allegedly on a zebra crossing followed by a mother and her five year old child. “When he got to the other side he was said to have dropped his trousers and defecated and the child was caught in the backsplash,” she said.

Imagine Backdraft, but with shit.

Cox’s trial beings August 7th. He is arguing that he had no other choice but to shit on the street. We will keep you updated with coverage.

[H/T Boing Boing]