Rakesh Roshan, 64, is a soft-hearted strong person. He is extremely punctual and will not work with a star, however big he may be, if he is not disciplined in terms of timing on the set. He may not display his emotional side easily, but he is the emotional anchor for his family, be it his wife, son, daughter or his brother. Ahead of his upcoming superhero film Krrish 3, he talks to TOI about his struggling years, his trusting son and why he will never give up. Excerpts:I am a Punjabi born and brought up in Mumbai. My father Roshan Lal Nagrath was a music director. After he expired, I took his name as a surname. Our house had one room and a kitchen. When I was young, my father would often compose songs (he composed songs of Taj Mahal and Barsaat Ki Ek Raat) in the hall and Shammi Kapoor, Rajendra Kumar and Dilip Kumar would come home. I used to see their cars and see people gather around them. I was a big Shammi Kapoor fan and would act like him and wear clothes like him. I would also put my collar up. That, of course, I still do, but for only style reasons, as I have no hair on my head. My father would always say, ‘First study.’ But I would bunk school to see movies and was put into a military boarding school in Satara. I continued to fail in all my subjects and would happily come home and get a beating. On my first day of school itself, during the ragging phase, I taught my classmates how to jump a 15-feet wall to go and watch a movie six kilometres away. This repeated for a couple of days till one day when they remembered they had forgotten to rag me, and ragged me. That day I didn’t go with them, but complained about them instead and got them caught as they had ragged me.My father died when I was 16. I had a choice to either study at the film institute or assist. I chose to assist HS Rawail, who was directing Sangharsh with Dilip Kumar sahab, and changed overnight with the responsibility on my head. I then assisted Mr Mohan Kumar on two films, both with Rajendra Kumar. Rajendra Kumar was a close family friend of ours, as my father composed hit music for many of his films. So, after my father died, he asked me what I wanted to do and I told him that I wanted to act. Because of him I got my first two roles as an actor at 21. I would make 200 a month. I gave 100 bucks to my mom and in 100, I managed. But I had wealthy friends and I survived on their money. Mr J Om Prakash, who was a big producer and director, called me one day and said, ‘I want to come and meet you.’ I wore my best clothes thinking he wanted to sign me, but I was surprised when came with his wife. Instead of offering me a role, he asked my hand for his daughter. His wife and Mr Mohan Kumar’s wife were sisters and he had probably seen my sincerity. I got married and my first daughter was born in 1972 and Hrithik in 1974 and my struggle started. I had children, was getting heroine-dominated roles and my movies did not work, so the blame would come onto me. While I could see no future, I kept working and did not give up as I did not know how to run my house. So I changed tracks, mortgaged my car and became a producer.I reasoned with myself that if I had to become an actor, I would have in 15 years. But I couldn’t, so decided to direct. And made Khudgarz. My acting career was over and as a producer the film I made, Bhagwan Dada, with Rajinikanth, did not do as well. So when I was driving with my wife and children in the car to Metro theatre, where the premiere of Khudgarz was being held, and I saw big hoardings and bands playing, I had tears in my eyes. My wife asked me what happened. I said, ‘Pinky this is the last. If this doesn’t work, everything is over. And I will have to look out for other work. I have tried as an actor and as a producer.’ I went inside and the whole industry came to see the film. I got a standing ovation after the film and I started weeping like a kid. I couldn’t imagine it, but did not look back after that. I don’t cry in front of people ever, but tears just rolled down my eyes that day.No. They probably liked my sincerity and straightforwardness and the way I kept my family, I don’t know how to manipulate and manipulating can given me sleepless nights, whether I have hurt someone knowingly or unknowingly.My wife Pinky. She left everything and came to live with me, my brother and mother in just a two-room flat from a bungalow where she lived. She saw my frustrations. I could not give her what she deserved in life and that would always kill me, even though I would not tell her. I once told her and she said I don’t want anything and just kept supporting me and saying, ‘Don’t worry, I am with you.’ Even today, when God has given us enough, she doesn’t have any demands and is not a spendthrift. She is a homely person and looks after the family very well. But she is quiet and keeps too much to herself. And it’s only when she gets angry that things come out of her, so I have to make her angry sometimes to draw her emotions out.I am very strong and if I want to achieve something, I will not leave it. It’s just the confidence in me that I can do it, even though I can fail sometimes, so I struggle and take different paths to achieve what I want. My one strength is that I want my name to be on the top and I feel I am born for that.