Reality show about Warren Co. swingers sparks controversy

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HAMILTON TWP. – There's no library here, no Wal-Mart and no movie theater.

Though it's one of the fastest growing communities in Warren County, Hamilton Township still feels like a small town. Good schools and budget-friendly homes are what draws so many to the area which is dotted by churches and farmland, but still is just a quick jaunt to freeways and urban centers.

Now a new TV reality show promises to pull back the curtain on a seldom seen suburban subculture while giving new meaning to the phrase "bedroom community."

A&E's "Neighbors with Benefits" follows several local married couples who swap partners and engage in extramarital relationships as they go about their regular lives as parents, professionals, soccer moms and little league coaches.

At the center of the show are Tony and Diana McCollister, described as the de facto leaders of a thriving swinging culture in their neighborhood. The couple, who some friends say are always on the prowl for new recruits, host swinger's parties at their Hamilton Township home.

Residents and some township officials maintain the series was filmed in a rented home in the Wedgwood neighborhood, but A&E officials say filming took place at the couple's home in the Thornton Grove community.

Show producers declined to make cast members available for interviews, but in a video preview posted on A&E's website, Diana introduces the series: "We live in your typical American suburb, except that..."

"...we live in a neighborhood with a lot of swingers," finishes Tony.

The depiction of this 300-home community as a veritable Peyton Place has generated moral outrage from many neighbors who resent the media spotlight of their neighborhood as a swingers' enclave.

Residents here, many of whom declined to speak on record, insist theirs is an everyday middle-class community, where neighbors wave to evening strollers and children splash at the community pool in summer.

"The way they characterize it, you can go door-to-door in lingerie and hook up. It's a Sodom and Gomorrah-type place," said one resident, who declined to give his name.

The hour-long, nine-episode series, which premieres at 10 p.m. March 22, delves into the challenges that swinging creates for the couples and their marriages – while also giving audiences a voyeuristic look into the sexier side of their lifestyle.

A press release that the network sent out appears to anticipate criticism of the show: "While some of the couples on the block believe this way of living strengthens their union, others try to warn potential recruits against the consequences along with its disregard for the sanctity of marriage."

Just how prevalent is swinging in suburbia? Show producers estimate that there are as many as 15 million swingers in America, but that number is difficult to measure since most remain secretive about their involvement in what many in the community refer to as "the lifestyle."

Club SinDay, a private adult social club that caters to swingers, counts several thousand members on its roster. As many as 30-60 couples congregate each night at the Middletown club's Friday and Saturday parties.

Club owner Dane, who declined to give his last name for personal and security reasons, said show producers approached him about filming at his 8,000-square-foot, bring-your-own-alcohol nightclub, equipped with a dance floor, lounge area and discreet "play" rooms.

The club bans cameras and cell phones in most areas, a rule enforced by roving security monitors. Members who violate the rules risk having their memberships revoked.

After polling club members, many of whom expressed fears of being "outed" to friends, family and employers, Dane said he declined to participate in the show.

But he does cite a long list of swinger stereotypes: "They're all perverted sex fiends. They're having sex all the time. Everybody gets naked and are on the floor rolling around."

"That's nothing like what happens, believe me," he said with a laugh. "It's not like you're tag-teaming out on everybody."

Dane said club members tend to be middle to upper-middle class professionals who range in ages from 21 to octogenarians, with most between the ages of 35-50. Some swap partners and have sex with each other. Some just watch.

"If you have a bad relationship, this going to mess it up. If you have jealousy issues, this will end the marriage," he cautioned. "This is for strong people who want to heighten their marriage."

Dane said he's cautiously optimistic that "Neighbors with Benefits" will accurately reflect the swinging lifestyle and help dispel some of the stigma associated with it.

"You hope there's more good being shown on there than the bad. The controversy is what everyone wants to see, the fights," he said.

Hamilton Township Trustee David Wallace said several residents have reached out to him and the township's police chief asking them to shut down production of the show.

Wallace said he consulted with the township's legal advisor and media watchdog groups who advised him that officials have no authority to stop the series from filming.

"I would encourage everyone to send a message and boycott its advertisers," he said.

Charles Tassell with Citizens for Community Values (CCV) said his organization has also fielded complaints about the show from residents and local church leaders. He said talks are underway with CCV's national partners to put pressure on major show advertisers to pull their support.

"Broken homes and broken hearts, that's what a lot of reality TV specializes in," Tassell said. "This is the lowest level of pandering and, quite frankly, the FCC should not allow something like this."

In an essay posted on his public Facebook page, Tony McCollister said the show will counter what he says is a "dark cloud" on the swinging lifestyle.

"…the one fact that hasn't changed is that the nature of these events is still kept private and hidden from the public," he wrote. "It seems, at least for the time at hand, that the world is just not quite ready to deal with the openness of the swinging lifestyle."

Is America ready for a peek into swingers' culture? It's a decision that ultimately could come down to millions of TV viewers nationwide.

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