Note: Um...you have a booger.

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By the Numbers:

Days `til the YearlyKos convention in Las Vegas June 8-11: 6

Days `til the start of the World Cup: 7

Expected number of Fußballers expected to go to Berlin for the event: 3 million

(Source: Fortune)

Years Paul Harvey, 87, has been a radio broadcaster: 73

Time he gets to work every morning: 4am (since 1951)

(Source: Forbes)

And from the Department of No-Land Security:

Days the federal terror alert system has been in place: 1,537

Days spent at terror alert level Green or Blue: 0

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Your Puppy Pic of the Day: "Rapunzel? Two houses down, third window on the left..."

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CHEERS to previews of coming attractions. When Congress reconvenes next week, Barbara Boxer will have some business to tend to (emphasis hers):

I'll be introducing a resolution...calling for U.S. forces to be redeployed from Iraq within 6 months or earlier, if practicable. My resolution also calls for a quick-reaction U.S. force and an over-the-horizon Marine presence to be deployed in the region. It is completely unacceptable to me to see our government paralyzed over a failed policy---a policy that is bringing so much pain to so many. The Bush Administration's open-ended commitment in Iraq is not only causing death and destruction to our brave troops, it's also serving as a catalyst for further terrorist recruitment. It's time to change course. That's why I'll be introducing my resolution in the Senate, which is very similar in impact to Congressman Jack Murtha's House legislation, when Congress reconvenes next week.

Good. Because when you start losing track of how many innocent civilians we're murdering over there, it's probably a sign that it's time to pull back to the sanity zone.

JEERS to that classic American value called the "double standard." Here's your example for today: If you're a lowly employee, and you miss your goals or otherwise screw up, you get fired. If you're the boss, and you miss your goals or otherwise screw up, you get a bonus. But---and this is crucial---but only $3.6 million. These CEOs must learn their lesson.

CHEERS to happier days. 14 years ago today, President Clinton clinched the Democratic nomination for president. Like November of `04, it was a Bush's election to lose. Damn you, History That Doesn't Repeat Itself!

CHEERS to rising sea levels. No, not because of global warming, silly. The world's largest cruise ship, the Freedom of the Seas, embarks on its maiden voyage on Sunday. It's "taller than the Statue of Liberty and longer than an aircraft carrier," tipping the scales at 160,000 gross registered tons. If they position it right, you can just walk the length of the deck and end up on another continent.

JEERS to revisionist history. Tuesday night my jaw dropped as Bill O'Reilly claimed that the Malmedy Massacre during World War II (which my high school English teacher barely managed to avoid) was an atrocity committed by U.S. troops on the Germans. Wrong---it was the other way around; our guys got slaughtered. When confronted with the truth, Fox "News" altered the show transcript (changing it to "Normandy") and made up a bogus excuse. In today's must-watch, Keith Olbermann---almost shaking with anger---unleashes a verbal ton of bricks on Ferretface and Fox. From high above, Murrow smiled.

CHEERS to fighting Dems. Yes, Maine is a "blue state," but not overwhelmingly. So Maine Democrats will be buzzing over strategy this weekend at the State Democratic Party Convention:

More than a thousand delegates, alternates and guests will converge on the Augusta Civic Center on Friday. Their work over the two-day convention is to chart the future of the Party by finalizing the Party platform, electing a new State Committee and hearing from Democratic candidates and party leaders.

Top `o the roster is Senator Russ Feingold, who speaks Saturday afternoon at 4. I'm slated for Saturday night at...11:59??

CHEERS to the (flavored) ice age. Warmer weather is here, and the tinkly tunes are now blaring from roving ice cream trucks around Maine. Sales have tripled since they switched from `The Entertainer' to `It's Hard Out Here For A Pimp."

JEERS to tossing the Constitution into the Cuisinart. With the blessing of President Cuckoo Bananas, the Senate will vote next week on the Orwellian-titled "Marriage Protection Amendment." C&J'er Nonie3234 sent us an email that the American Family Association is passing around, once again proving that they're fer states rights unless they're agin' `em:

[Florida] Sen. [Bill] Nelson is expected to vote against the MPA under the pretext of voting for "states rights." Can you imagine the chaos we would have if this country had 50 different laws defining marriage? Call Senator Nelson today. Tell him that no matter what political double-talk is used, the bottom line is this: A vote against the Marriage Protection Amendment is, in essence, a vote for homosexual marriage.

The amendment is expected to fail. Still, it might not hurt to call your senators and help counter the knuckledraggers' schizophrenic misinformation campaign. Tell `em they should be working on real issues that affect all Americans---like blogger ethics and flag-burning.

CHEERS to an inconvenient truth...for the global warming poo-poo'ers. At a $28,000 per-screen average, X-Men 3: Troll Hunters in Bloggerland is a bona fide blockbuster. So what does it mean when Al Gore's movie makes $70,332 per screen? More smoke coming out of the dittoheads' ears.

P.S. Is it coming to your town this weekend?

JEERS to addictive mergers. 21 years ago today, The R.J. Reynolds Company proposed a major merger with Nabisco that would create a $4.9 billion conglomerate of food distribution and other products, including tobacco. Which explains this uncontrollable urge I have to eat a Fig Newton every ten minutes.

CHEERS to Divine Strake Silence. Hey, y'know that big 700-ton bomb the NNSA was going to explode in the Nevada desert this month? Heh...thanks to public pressure it's been postponed indefinitely. Biggest loser: Acme Earplugs, Inc.

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One Year Ago in C&J: June 2, 2005:

CHEERS to Rep. John Conyers. For pointing out the retroactive lessons of Watergate:

"Back then we had an aggressive press corps. Back then we had men of courage. Back then we had a Justice Department that was willing to take an investigation wherever it would lead. Back than we had a Congress that was willing to hold real hearings and conduct real oversight of official misconduct."

That's right---things are so bad now that we remember the Watergate era as the good old days.

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And just one more...

JEERS to garden pests. I don't know about your neck of the woods, but the bees are bad this year. This one pollinated our whole neighborhood in a single afternoon. (There used to be a candy store across the street---now there's just a crater.)

Have a great weekend. Mentor a small child. Or drink `til ya pass out. Floor's open...what are you cheering and jeering about today?

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