namwchange Thu 07-Mar-19 18:24:06

DP and I both used to smoke.



After having DS, I went quite full-on with rules and stuff. I was untrusting of people around him, I was paranoid that others thought I was a bad parent. I was quite extreme in some ways with it (I'm not really sure what other words to put it in).

One way was that I had told DP how furious I'd be if he smoked when we had DS. I didn't want second-hand smoke on him, I didn't want to be a bad role model as a parent, I didn't want to spend unnecessary money. I believe I told him at one point that I'd split with him if he started smoking behind my back (I wouldn't have I don't think, but I did feel really extreme about it).



DS is almost 2 now. I've been going through a bad time with my mental health and just feeling lost and detached and haven't felt able to speak to DP. He found tobacco today and when I admitted that I had actually been smoking the past few weeks (about one a day), he shouted and said I was a hypocrite, called me a disgusting person (infront of DS), said he was extremely disappointed and all of this. I expected him to ask why/what had happened as it was out of character for me but he just shouted. I get his point but I just feel like it was very harsh, especially infront of DS.



Am I being really unreasonable here? Or is he being slightly unreasonable too? It seems like such a petty thing to argue about but it's hit me.