The Handlebar This one's not just for truck drivers anymore, recently made popular again by Morgan Spurlock, it's donned by people who watch more than just Nascar.

The Charlie Chaplan Even after Hitler unpopularized this moustache suprisingly there are people who still sport it. It's basically a black line just under your nose, you probably won't get hit on by the ladies too much if you have one of these.

The Goate This is one of the most common groomed patterns of facial hair on men these days, it's popularity comes and goes, but it's an easy one to do and also pretty easy to maintain.

The Creeper This is a moustache that teenage boys try to grow and often fail. Sported by such men as Napolean Dynamite's cousin, and people who are registered sexual predators.

The Englishman The most classic of all moustaches, it begins at the upper lip, just below the nose, and then swoops down and has a curl to it. Moustache wax is required to pull this look off. It's cool for a halloween party, but sporting it all the time will make you look like you're trying to hard to be "unique".

Fu Manchu It looks a lot like the handlebar, but it's actually only grown from the upper lip and then justs hangs down in handlebar fashion. This one can take some time to grow, so you'll have to make a commitment to it if you want to achieve this look.

The Walrus Once upon a time this moustache was considered to be worn by men of high stature. These days it's more likely to be worn by people who live deep in the mountains and the unemployed. This look is easy to achieve, just grow your facial hair for a few months, paying almost no attention to it whatsoever, then shave off everything but what's on your upper lip.

The Dali Named after famous painter and weirdo Salvador Dali, this moustache is quite slender with long tips, which can be straight up or arching up at the ends. Often the hair under the nose is shaved off, this helps one to achieve the look that says "I like doing 10 hits of acid on week days".