I have three brothers and all three of them are currently incarcerated.

For as long as I can remember, my brothers have been actively involved in the criminal justice system.

They have all been in and out of jail since they were 12 years old, for petty charges as youth, and serious charges as adults.

Either this was the result of bad parenting, or it was the result of something more systemic.

I often wonder what it would be like had we grown up with just a little bit of financial security. I do not know what it is like to grow up with privilege, and I do not know what it is like to grow up with a healthy family.

Like many indigenous families, we deal with the inter-generational effects of residential schools, and even longer histories of colonialism.

Sometimes I think that some of my family members went through a more traumatic experience because they weren't able to fully recover from their childhoods.

The disconnect

Lately there has been growing awareness surrounding the issue of missing and murdered indigenous women. One of the things that Canadians fail to recognize is that boys and men in our community are also frequently at a high risk of being victims of violence, of going missing, of being killed.

Earlier this year, I had a chance to attend and be a helper in a sundance for the first time. (A sundance ceremony is a traditional celebration of life, where people gather to fast and pray). I ended up camping beside many youth who were in care.

Many of the kids said the same thing to me: a lot of them felt like there was a disconnect with their families and a disconnect from culture.

How do you place kids from poverty into upper class neighbourhoods and expect them to succeed?

The kids talked about what being in care was like, and how they felt like the system was failing them. The fact is that many of our youth are often killed by other youth.

It seems like society, and often our own people, have become desensitized to the fact that nobody pays attention when the young indigenous people in our country are killed or go missing. It almost seems normal that we talk about youth killing each other on reserves and that we see youth killing each other in urban environments, too.

How do we break the cycle?

When I look around the community and I think about what is causing a lot of the problems, one main issue is poverty. The second issue that people struggle with is being trapped within an urban environment.

And then there is the identity issue.

Growing up in Winnipeg's North End, there weren't too many positive indigenous role models in the community. There aren't enough to this day.

We must identify as many role models as possible within our community. Our people don't need "role models." They need "real models."

If we can find those in our community that have been through the same type of experiences and have succeeded, it makes trying to break out of negative cycles much more feasible.

I am a firm believer that each and every one of us has a gift. It has taken me 30 years to be able to figure out what my gift is. It has also taken me this long to figure out that I am able to help others.

We would have many more successful people in our community if we raised them to be proud of themselves.

I went to schools in the North End that taught anishinaabemowin (Ojibwa) in elementary. I also went to, and finished all four years of secondary school at Children Of The Earth High School. This school was very important in making me comfortable with being indigenous, as well as instilling a sense of pride in who I am.

When we look at ourselves as resilient, we start looking out for each other. - Lenard Monkman

I often ask people: "What does indigenous/native pride mean to you?" To me, it means knowing your history, knowing the resilience of your people, and knowing the beauty of your culture and traditions.

If people possessed these three characteristics, they would be able to walk with their heads held high — no longer ashamed to be indigenous.

When we look at ourselves as resilient, we start looking out for each other. When we view ourselves as relatives, we help to address the lateral violence in our communities.

In the era of reconciliation, we need Canada to continue to acknowledge the truth, and to be ready to support strong, healthy, indigenous people.

Our lives depend on it.

A version of this article first appeared in Red Rising. It is republished with permission of the author.