According to a certain sidebar of shame, there’s a new pin-up in town. “Leaving his legs open and his feet placed on the floor as he leans on the bed, Tom confidently shows off every inch of his muscular physique,” breathes the caption, channelling Rita Skeeter after a vat of Spanish fly.

Actor and Bond Apparent Tom Hiddleston’s “racy photoshoot” is for esteemed fashion mag W, and the 35-year-old actor is pictured lounging about in nothing but a pair of white cotton boxers, legs spread, gazing longingly at the camera like Oscar Wilde’s best Bosie fever-dream. Yet the accompanying text appears to take his career entirely seriously, allowing him to discuss his roles, throw in a few Bond-like quips, and generally reveal himself to be reasonably intelligent, witty and talented.

‘David Beckham – who scarcely counts as naked because he’s got drawings all over him.’ Photograph: H&M/Rex

And while the internet may be allowing itself a brief, maidenly flush of excitement at the pictures, nobody is groaning, “Oh, put it away, To-Hid,” or sniping, “What an air head, how is this news?” under his sultry portfolio. It’s quite the contrast to the general attitude when a successful actress gets her kit off. Septuagenarian Dame Helen Mirren is still wading through a pond of lascivious slime because she once let it be known that she has breasts, while Kim Kardashian may be married to a rap god and a wildly successful businesswoman, but the general response to her regular showcasing of her assets is “sleazy” “pathetic” and “attention-seeking”, which doesn’t stop every coy, hand-across-boobs bathroom snap she ever posts going viral within seconds.

Any female celebrity who has ever been persuaded to undo her top because the film needs publicity, or has, like Miley Cyrus, decided to “take control” of her own image and get naked without coercion, steps immediately into a looking-glass world where nothing but their “flaunted curves” is reflected. When a man does it – like Daniel Craig, say, emerging from the turquoise waves like an irritable tendon in tiny pants, or David Beckham – who scarcely counts as naked because he’s got drawings all over him – there’s a brief outburst of comedic, hen-party lusting, then the pouting pin-up in question is allowed to return to pontificating about cinéma vérité, or representing the UN on a global stage.

Everyone understands that it was purely for fun, something that a gorgeous, intelligent man might choose to do to please his public and celebrate his own magnificence, like a lion at the zoo choosing to roar at the crowd. But no matter how intelligent, successful or globally charitable a woman may be, as soon as she poses bum to camera in lacy pants, she’s seemingly revealed herself to be lesser. Less worthy of respect, less impressive; a woman we had thought was classy exposing herself as just another pair of tits on a stick.

‘Every time the model David Gandy is interviewed, some female journalist wears out her lustful adjective button.’ Photograph: Nils Jorgensen/REX

Of course, this is no great surprise. The “double standard” is such a tired cliche, we may as well be complaining that Barbara Windsor’s top fell off while Sid James was allowed to keep his dressing gown on. But it’s no longer the case that men stay clothed while women find their buttons mysteriously pinging off. The double standard has moved on. Men are now allowed to disrobe and pose sprawled like shameless spaniels on their masters’ beds, and they’re still treated as if their brain is the most attractive thing about them. Meanwhile, any woman who glistens blankly at the camera, absorbing the male gaze like Vantablack draining sunlight, is considered to have crossed the Rubicon from serious to salacious.

Objectification can work both ways, of course – in theory. We’re regularly told that men are under just as much pressure to look fabulous naked as women are nowadays, and that’s probably true. Every time the model David Gandy is interviewed, some female journalist wears out her “lustful adjective” button. The difference is, he’s still taken seriously when he puts his trousers back on.