Worship Guitarist Now Owns More Guitars Than Guitar Center

DULUTH, MN—Sources close to local worship guitarist Brent Atley confirmed Monday that the skilled musician now owns more guitars than his local Guitar Center location.

Atley reportedly reached the milestone after rushing out to pick up a limited edition 2017 Gibson Les Paul in a sunburst finish late last week, bringing the official count of his collection up to 2,562 guitars, which is reportedly just slightly more than his favorite local guitar shop stocks on a typical business day.

“I know I probably already have enough axes,” Atley told reporters with a sheepish smile. “But it was on sale! I couldn’t let that opportunity pass me by. Besides, it’s for worship, so this is pretty much just like giving money to advance the kingdom of God.”

The musician also said that he tries to have “an axe for every occasion.”

“What if the light guys switch to a moody, ambient green hue? As a serious guitarist, I have to be ready to match the stage decorations and atmosphere as needed,” he said.

At publishing time, sources confirmed that Atley was still having trouble pulling off a B minor bar chord.

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