A Californian man has sued Apple, accusing the company of conspiring with the Italian Mafia to track him down using his iPod. He says they also inserted the word "herpes" into Mike Jones "Still Tippin" (video NSFW). Sounds reasonable:

The recording of death threats and other evidence, prove that APPLE INC. conspired with the Mafia and other Defendants to manufacture, distribute, and sell illegally bugged iPods and other electronic equipment to Plaintiff [Gregory McKenna] to perpetuate the stalking, extortion, and torture.

All these are facts that don't surprise me at all. But McKenna added even more grave accusations to the lawsuit, accusing Apple of inserting the word "herpes" into Mike Jones' Still Tippin':

Tippin' on four fours, wrapped in four vogues, HERPES. Tippin' on four fours, wrapped in four vogues. Tippin' on four fours, wrapped in four vogues, AHH


Here I get a bit skeptical. I've reviewed the uncut video (NSFW) of this song again and again and again and again, but I've yet for find the word herpes anywhere. I mean, I kind of see where he is going with the accusation, but having gone through a full battery of tests just last week, I want to believe that all these ladies are all STD-free too, thank you very much:

But wait, there' more, McKenna's lawsuit also says that Apple and the Mafia threatened to kill him if he didn't become a fashion model in New York City:

We're going to kill you if you don't model for us in New York. Media sources report that the modeling industry has an infamous "shadow Mafia" that forces models to work for pay after fraudulently putting them into excessive debt, coerces them into the illegal sex trade, and then disposes of them.


This is, by far, the best nutty lawsuit in the history of nutty lawsuits. And they say lawyers can't do creative writing. [Apple Insider]