I was recently bullied for my decision to be childfree.

The attack came for an older individual. As I was speaking to them they asked me how long I had been married and as soon as those words left their mouth I knew what was coming.

“So when are you having children?” they asked as soon as I had told them how long I had been married.

“We’re not.” I replied.

“Oh, you’re waiting a while.” they stated.

“No,” I told them, “we’re not having kids.”

They looked shocked. “Not having kids ever?”

“No, never.” I told them.

“Why not?” they asked.

“Well,” I started, “I don’t like kids…”

“It’s because they’re not yours.” they told me. “It’s different when they’re yours.”

“I’m not going to have kids only to discover I still don’t like kids.” I told them, thinking their logic of ‘have a kids to see if you like kids’ was insane.

Instead of giving up the fight, the individual continued to lecture me, telling me that I was still a child myself and that I would change my mind one day. They told me that all that matters in life is that I have a child and raise it.

And in response to the statement “I can’t have kids even if I wanted them” they stated that it didn’t matter where I got the child, just as long as I had a child because raising a child was the best thing ever.

I walked away angry, but not shocked because this kind of bullying is very common for those of us who are childfree. We’re constantly told that we don’t know what we actually want, that we will change our minds, and that we’re too young to make such a life changing decisions even though people our age or younger are capable of making the decision to have kids.

It’s insulting for you to tell me that I’m a child because I’ve never felt that children were for me, it’s stupid to tell me that my life is worthless because I’m not going to bring an unwanted human being into the world, it’s hurtful to tell me that something is wrong with me because I’ve never wanted kids, and it’s awfully childish and mean to bully me because my decision isn’t the same as yours.

The fact of the matter is that it is okay to be childfree.

This person told me that they had always know that they wanted to be a parent. They stated that they knew from a very young age that that’s what they wanted for their life and raising a child was the best thing they had ever done.

And that’s okay too!

The thing is that we need to respectful of everyone’s decisions. Not every human being has the desire to bring another life into the world. Not everyone can have a child. Not every human being feels that the only way they can lead a fulfilling life is to raise a child.

Had this individual been open to a constructive conversation instead of insisting on being a bully then I would have happily discussed it with them but, unfortunately, the majority of people respond the way that this person did and that’s quite sad, especially for the ones who are constantly being bullied.

Despite the constant bullying I know that my life is more than fulfilling. I love being a wife and raising a little furry family with my husband. I love going on random adventures and I love that I am able to make the decision to be the best version of myself by not being a mother.

That’s what makes me happy and, despite people telling me otherwise, it’s perfectly okay!