Photo : Sean Rayford ( Getty )

The Proud Boys, one of the stranger and more pathetic branches of the alt-right, are having a crisis of leadership. Following the weird, stunt-like departure of their leader, Vice Media co-founder Gavin McInnes, the Proud Boys have been busy frantically trying to figure out who gets to be the boss of the so-called “Western chauvinist organization” and tell everyone else how many times they get to masturbate each month.




Official leadership, at least as far as the vaguely administrative wing of the group and it s website goes, seems to have fallen to an “Elders Chapter,” who, in conjunction with an extremely racist lawyer named Jason Lee Van Dyke, released a new set of bylaws for the organization, which they provided to the media “with member names and exhibits redacted for public release.”


The new bylaws are more of the same weird Proud Boy shit, with some changes: no head punches on their weird beat-in ritual where they sock each other while chanting cereal brands; you can only jerk off once per month; and some new rulings on the “fourth degree of initiation,” which involves getting in a fight on behalf of the club and is usually achieved during shit-stirring brawls like the one outside the Metropolitan Republican Club in NYC last month, which got several Proud Boys arrested, contributing to the leadership chaos.

Anyway, remember the part about the “member names redacted?” The Smart Boys fucked it up. In the section about the “Elder Chapter,” the names of the chapter members are highlighted in black in the public document but it turns out if you just highlight them with your cursor they show right up:

Anyway, the Elders might have some competition from a few other massive idiots. Per the Daily Beast:



Augustus Invictus, an alt-right figure and self-described pagan who spoke at the 2017 white supremacist rally in Charlottesville, claimed in a video that he was the new top Proud Boy. Invictus was a member of the Proud Boys through its now mostly defunct militant wing, the Fraternal Order of Alt Knights. Invictus, who said in the video that his toddler son was now the Proud Boys’ chief of staff and slammed “a few losers who think they own the Proud Boys,” said he would lift the Proud Boys’ rules against associating with explicitly racist figures like white nationalist leader Richard Spencer. “The days of Proud Boy cuckery are over,” Invictus said.﻿



Invictus and the Elders agree on one point, however: according to the new bylaws, “no member shall engage in sexual conduct with, or attempt to engage in sexual conduct, with the spouse, girlfriend, or boyfriend of any other member.” The days of Proud Boy cuckery may truly be over!