OTTAWA – Minister of National Defence Harjit Sajjan told reporters that he was “the architect” behind the record-breaking 3.5 kilometre sniper shot reported by Canadian defence officials.

“I can confirm that I, Harjit Sajjan, successfully hit a target at 3,540 metres,” said the minister in a press conference at DND Headquarters. “I can also confirm that the shot in question halted an entire Daesh invasion.”

The minister said at that range he had to adjust for the weapon’s ballistics, windage, and the Coriolis effect, which he said he was the first to reveal in a paper published in 1835. He explained that he decided to attempt the shot so he would not have to single-handedly parachute behind enemy lines in a tank from 10,000 feet while firing dual-wield grenade launchers, which he had already done many times before.

“I am honoured to break the record that I set during the Boer War,” added Sajjan.

Sajjan says the operation fell within the parameters of the government-mandated training mission, which allows members of the Canadian Special Operations Task Force to explode other people’s heads in an advisory capacity.