The reason the eye missed the heist is that due to Russian interference in the 2016 election, the eye was actually hacked by trolls and shut down for several hours and replaced with a test pattern. The test was to see whether the Eye of Providence could be permanently replaced with oversight of the United States by an omnipotent oligarchy.

The oligarchy assures us that it has the best interest of the nation at heart. The oligarchs can explain how their kids are the deserving rich — really, really deserving. Like Donald Trump Jr. and Eric Trump, just to name two! And they should be able to forever float above the rest of us mere mortals with serene benevolence, questionable friends and ribbon-cutting scissors. They will help restore fiscal sanity to government by using their scissors to deplete the treasury and put an eventual end to your parasitic desire to collect Social Security when you retire. Or even to retire at all. There is work to be done, building new pyramids as elaborate monuments to the rich so that we can honor them now and forever. And the slaves needed to build them will have to come from somewhere. Sure, slavery isn’t the greatest thing ever, but as retired Gen. John F. Kelly pointed out, you should be willing to compromise on that and at least be a slave some of the time.