“Next year, I’ll bring the schmear!”

I’ll be honest. Living on the east coast, I haven’t stayed up for a ton of tennis over the last two weeks. Don’t get me wrong; I get to watch the day session, only to typically spend the night doing what one ought to be doing at night time anyway: sleeping. Most of the matches I’ve slept through have turned out to be neutral fare; it’s safe to say there hadn’t been any Djokovic/Wawrinka-style epics thus far (too soon?). Even if there were, there’s always Twitter to catch me up.

Boy, did y’all do me a solid tonight.

WE DID IT TOGETHER YOU GUYS. pic.twitter.com/sXUarrVEnJ —

Courtney Nguyen (@FortyDeuceTwits) January 30, 2015

For those who lived through this aggressively bad match, a fair warning: this may trigger some of your presumably fast-developing PTSD.

For those who slept, this is what I woke up to:

Weird stuff from Djokovic. Did someone slip him a crouton? Huffing/puffing, playing up and down tennis. Feels like 2010 again #AusOpen —

Nick McCarvel (@NickMcCarvel) January 30, 2015

Gluten humor. We’re off to a good start.

“I hit, he hit, yadda yadda yadda, and I guess I won.”

Djokovic had no idea he won third set, was hanging back behind the baseline waiting for balls. Even he doesn't want to watch this. #AusOpen —

Ben Rothenberg (@BenRothenberg) January 30, 2015

It’s at this point when the collective fear starts to set in.

W/UE ratio so far: 20/33 for Novak, 28/50 for Wawrinka. #highqualitystuff —

Harry (@_harry91) January 30, 2015

I believe the term is "fugly" —

Ed McGrogan (@EdMcGrogan) January 30, 2015

Jokes on jokes.

Can't wait till John McEnroe calls this match one of the best he's ever seen at the French Open —

Nick Nemeroff (@NNemeroff) January 30, 2015

Take it away, Judge Judy.

Look, not ALL of the tennis was bad…

Stan serves it out. We’re going five! Sorry, BritBrit. pic.twitter.com/xIG5RGShRn —

Courtney Nguyen (@FortyDeuceTwits) January 30, 2015

…just most of it.

Djokovic hit 0 winners and 14 unforced errors in the fourth set. I repeat, Djokovic hit 0 winners and 14 unforced errors in the fourth set. —

Tumaini (@tumcarayol) January 30, 2015

Keeping the stat sheet clean and easy to follow, as always.

Wait. #men



“…I think I left the oven on!”

Even waking nightmares must come to an end.

Just because something goes 5 sets doesn't mean it's "epic." Here are epics: 1. Iliad 2. Odyssey 3. Bridget Jones 4. that one Nadal/Federer —

Jason (@Hurleytennis) January 30, 2015

You don’t mean this one, right?

It is finished. And now we must explain it to the children. pic.twitter.com/6dc1rUwuDU —

Courtney Nguyen (@FortyDeuceTwits) January 30, 2015

“..and don’t think for one second

that this means we love you less.

KNOW that it means that.”

And so we end the match as it began: laughing through the crippling exhaustion.

What was your favorite moment of Djokovic/Warinka III? Sound off in the comments!