A/N: Domestic Assassin!verse/Ingridverse crossover

Inspired by fozziewazxi 's tag:

#cause ingrid could totally work in any Elsanna au

DA!verse isn't exactly Elsanna but…

Challenge accepted!

Rubbing the sleep from her eyes, her hair a bright corona of bedhead, Anna meandered towards the kitchen. More accurately, towards the tantalizing smell of frying bacon. "Oh my god, Elsa, that smells delicious. Thank you thank you thank you for getting up and making breakfast for a goddamn chaWHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?"

Standing in front of the stove was a woman about her own age, cowering backwards, holding a spatula pointed at her as if it was a crucifix and Anna was a particularly frightening vampire. The girl was rail thin - judging from what was exposed by the scoop neck collar, Anna could have counted her ribs - pale, and straight black hair falling limply behind her.

Anna held up her empty hands, trying to look even more harmless then she already did in her footy pyjamas. "Uh, hi. Sorry. I was startled. Hi. Good morning."

"How do you do." The girl spoke with a European-tinged English accent.

"And you are…?"

They stared at each other, Anna uncomfortable, the girl uncomprehending. "And I am…?"

"I mean, who are you? What's your name?"

The spatula sagged a little. "I am Jane," she said. Anna smiled at her. "Jane…Austen?"

The smile vanished. "Elsa?" yelled Anna. "Would you get in here, please? Right now?"

Elsa, still in her tank top and pyjama pants but with her hair already brushed, strolled to the kitchen. She yawned and said, "G'morning. I see you've already met."

"Who…?" managed Anna, glaring at Elsa and pointing at "Jane".

"It's okay, Ingrid. Anna, may I present Ingrid. Ingrid, this is Anna."

"Ingrid," the girl repeated, pointing to herself and nodding.

Anna groaned in frustration. "Elsa. We talked about you not having one of your 'guests' sleep over without telling me first."

"She's not one of my 'guests.' Not exactly. And there were special circumstances. Besides, didn't you read the note?"

Ingrid's eyes darted back and forth, following the conversation.

"What note?" Anna huffed.

"The note in the bathroom. Where you couldn't possibly miss it."

"There wasn't any note… Oh never mind." Anna marched to the bathroom, her stomping muffled by her flannel pyjama feet, muttering that she couldn't be expected to read anything before breakfast.

Ingrid lowered her spatula. "This is your sister Anna, who you talked about so much?" she asked in Russian.

"She's usually nicer than that." Elsa smiled apologetically. "First thing in the morning, she can be a…grumpy-pants," she said, finishing in English.

"Grumpy…pants? How could her pants be grumpy? They had bunnies."

"It means an irritable person."

As Ingrid murmured the new idiom to herself, Anna returned from the bathroom. "I found your note," she said, and held up a wet yellow post-it square, the ink an undecipherable blue blot.

"Fell in the sink?" asked Elsa.

Anna didn't respond, except with a sarcastic eyebrow raise.

"Well. Anyway. This is Ingrid. We…met at work."

"Really."

As the sisters talked, Ingrid's attention darted between the conversation and the food on the stove.

Elsa waved her hands. "I was at this dacha in – never mind – and I was, you know, at work. I turn around and there she is. She was a household servant for the, uh, guy. Well, I can't leave a witness, but she didn't really do anything, so I…" She shrugged helplessly. "…took her with."

"He was a bad man," said Ingrid firmly. "A scoundrel."

"I'm sure he was," said Anna. She turned back to Elsa. "So now what?"

"Ingrid's going to be staying with us for a little while."

"Define 'little'," said Anna. Elsa didn't respond. "Overnight?" Silence. "The weekend?" Silence. "A…week?" Silence from Elsa, and an embarrassed grin. "Two weeks?"

"For…a while. The Organization knows some people who want to debrief her. In a nice way. And after that it would be a good idea for her to lay low until things blow over." Elsa attempted a smile. "She followed me home; can I keep her?"

"Elsa, I don't mind you bringing home stray cats, but stray people?"

"I met your cats," said Ingrid, startling Anna. "They're very nice." She cleared her throat. "I trimmed their nails, I hope you don't mind."

"Trimmed their claws, Inga. I mean, Ingrid," said Elsa.

"You trimmed their claws?" said Anna, astonished.

"Was that bad?"

"No, that was amazing! Elsa and I have tried, but…"

Ingrid shrugged, dipped her head. "You had a cutter, but I had to sharpen it. Then, it is like trimming the claws of horses," said Ingrid. Then she grinned. "But much, much smaller."

"Hooves, Ingrid," said Elsa gently. "Horses have hooves, cats have claws, people have nails."

"Yes, hooves," said Ingrid. "My English is not good yet."

"No, it's excellent," said Anna. "Where did you learn to speak English?"

"BBC World Service. I had a little radio I hid. I wanted to learn English for when I would get away from…" She glanced at Elsa, who shook her head no. "From the man. In…in the place. And your sister came and rescued me." She beamed at Elsa. Elsa beamed back.

Anna shrugged, smiled, and offered her hand. "Welcome to the apartment, I guess."

When breakfast was ready, Ingrid served a generous portion of bacon and eggs to Elsa and Anna, and a small portion to herself.

"It's okay, Ingrid," said Anna. "You can have more."

"I'm used to it."

Anna leaned towards her. "Didn't they feed you properly?" She looked Ingrid up and down, checking for signs of malnutrition beyond simply being underweight.

Ingrid shook her head. "Also, the man I worked for liked his women curvaceous. If I didn't eat so much, he would not be as interested in me."

Anna and Elsa shared a look, Anna nodding to show that she was starting to understand more of why Elsa brought Ingrid along.

Anna was already drawing up a nutrition program in her head. "As soon as we're done breakfast I want to give you a thorough going-over."

Ingrid's shoulders slumped as she looked down at her plate. "If you wish."

"No, it's not like that," said Elsa hastily. "A medical check up. Anna's studying to be a doctor."

"Oh. Thank you," said Ingrid, nodding to Elsa and then to Anna. "I… Taking me here, letting me stay, and now this. I don't have any money. But I could work for you. I can cook and clean and – "

"Hey, you're our guest," said Elsa. "Don't worry about it."

"Y'know, I wouldn't say no to some of that cooking and cleaning," said Anna. In response to Elsa's glare, she added, "I'm just saying. And she is good with the cats." To both of them she said, "So how long is this, um, arrangement going to last?"

"I think for as long as you will have me," said Ingrid.

Anna finished her eggs and bacon. "You sure?"

"We are like cats, I think," said Ingrid, glancing at the door. "When the door is locked, all we want is to go out. When it is open, we are happy to stay."