That is it. Just four people, in spite of a cast that boasts two Oscar winners—Kevin Spacey and Christopher Walken, who must have some hefty overdue bills they need to pay off—along with a director, Barry Sonnenfeld, who continues to shred his reputation as a sharp filmmaker, which was earned after the massive success of the decades-old “Men in Black” and “Addams Family” franchises.

Like cats, audiences can sometimes sense when something is no good. Let’s just say I have been to wakes that have elicited more laughs.

Just which of the five screenwriters that scribbled this catastrophe (I am allowed at least one feline pun, aren’t I?) thought it was a good idea to revive the body-switch gimmick from the ‘80s and mate it with the workaholic-dads-are-bad theme from the ‘90s? Clichés remain clichés if you don’t make an effort to somehow re-invent them for a new generation.

Not that there isn’t an attempt at reflecting today’s headlines, as Spacey’s self-centered Manhattan mogul Tom Brand fusses over details concerning the size of a tower bearing his company name instead of attending his daughter’s 11th birthday party. He throws a snit fit when it appears that an edifice located in Chicago might prevent him from having the tallest phallic symbol in the Northern Hemisphere. Let’s see. Rich, egotistical, self-centered, insulting, short-tempered and obsessed with the length of his manly skyscraper. Who does that sound like?

To make amends, Brand ends up buying a cat at a rather strange pet emporium overseen by a rather strange proprietor played by Walken. On the way home with the gift, he decides to make a pit stop on the top floor of his tower and is struck by lightning. That means Spacey can pretty much dial in the rest of his part just by doing a voiceover since his character now takes the form of a cat known as Mister Fuzzypants (not funny) while his comatose body lies in a hospital bed.

I am guessing that anyone tempted to see “Nine Lives” would be anticipating plenty of four-pawed high jinx to chortle over. Isn’t that why YouTube is littered with such clips (some of which actually start off the film)? But even this dog person knows that cats generally like to call their own shots, which explains why the puss here is primarily an obvious CG creation.