Humans Think Space Force Will Protect Them

Here we go again with their mighty weakness.

Photo by Space X via Unsplash

Another day, another story from Earth. Seriously, humans think they are the most interesting species out there. They must have heard about vampires, they made Nicolas Cage a movie star.

Someone called Defense Secretary Mark Esper said the Earthlings Space Force would be set up relatively quickly. Hopefully more quickly than when his mother had to call him in for dinner. Whatever he did in a past life to get four names must have been pretty bad. At least with Madonna, there’s only one name to hell out. And she showed her tatas to everyone. If that doesn’t warn four names then I don’t know what does.

Humans are convinced we are ready to declare war on them.

War With Themselves

This Defense Secretary Mark Esper thinks we are ready to go to war with them. He claimed it would either be a space war or a cyber war. We’ve seen what they do with the internet down there. Are they worried that the female stars of their graphic movies will rise up and demand an orgasm? They’ve gone this long relying on what they call waterpicks to get them to O-Town, why start the fight now?

Of course all the women celebrities seem to be in a rush to join the industry, so maybe there’s something to that theory.

Still though, they aren’t starting a porn force. Humans view aliens as the real threat to them. Someone should let them know, if we wanted them destroyed it would happen. Don’t they know what happened with the dinosaurs.

Such a tragedy. It’s what happens when out signs are ignored in favor asteroid dodge. But we wouldn’t do that to humans. They’re too fun to watch on the so-called hamster wheel.

And if any species declared war it was them. They showed the nether regions of Lindsay Lohan. A call to war if ever there was one.

We’re getting our vengeance though…

Money Matters

Humans are obsessed with the green paper they print. They exchange it for goods and services. And the rest they horde like it’s naked pictures of Liam Payne. He can go One Direction, if you catch my drift.

The four named man said they were given more than $700 billion to finance the Space Force. What do they think they’re going to do with that? Maybe find one of our spaceships and wave hi at us. That’s all they can afford to do.

They can’t even find the car warranty company that keeps calling them. That is a brilliant practical joke to play on them!

My phone’s ringing… who did this?

Space Force Out!