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Minnesota is a land of 10,000 lakes, nice people, and good food. What else could I need to be happy?

Right, nothing.

I love living here and I discover something new every day. It’s been over a year now that I’ve been exploring this wonderful frozen state, and here is what I’ve learned as an Armenian so far:

You don’t want to be a Green Bay Packers fan

You bet you don’t! You have Vikings to root for! Minnesotans don’t root for those cheeseheads!

The Green Bay Packers are The Viking’s arch-rival. Their competition and constant battle resembles that of Barcelona and Real Madrid teams in the soccer world.

You don’t want to talk about Wisconsin

Because the Green Bay Packers are from Wisconsin. Short and simple.

You never say bad things about walleye

No fish can compete with walleye in popularity. Minnesota fishermen and women are only interested in catching walleye, and it seems that most prefer walleye over any other fish! Honestly, I really like walleye but I wouldn’t say it is the tastiest fish in the world. It just tastes like … umm… fish.

But, if you are ever in Minnesota, either say nothing or say only good things about walleye.

You say “you bet” or “you betcha” instead of “you are welcome”

Yes, that’s Minnesotan language for you. You also say “dontchya know” instead of “don’t you know,” “oofda” which is an exclamation to express surprise, satisfaction (with food, for example) and maybe some other things that I don’t know.

Minnesotans have more complicated phrases too though, such as “not too bad,” “it’s different” the meaning of which changes with situation and intonation.

Up North is a different North for different people

Minnesota is a very tall state and you can go ‘up north’ and still not be ‘up north’ compared to some of the people that live ‘up north’ from you. That’s the reason why north is different for different people. The real ‘Up North’ is the part of the state that is close to the Canadian border.

Most of Minnesotans go ‘Up North’ for hunting.

40 F is warm

I am from Armenia and we have four seasons, but I will never get used to 40F (4C) being warm. Warm is when it is 70F (21C) out! Period.

But in this state, I see some people walking in summer shoes and wearing super light jackets when walking outside at 40F. Come on!

You always remember the blizzard of Halloween of 1991

I learned it from the Internet memes people share on Halloween. Each year. They won’t let you forget it!

People don’t speak like in “Fargo.”

Fargo isn’t in Minnesota. People don’t really talk like that.

The show is lame. North Dakota isn’t nearly as cool as Minnesota anyway.

Prince was from Minnesota

Yes and it’s awesome. Minnesotans are very proud of it. His estate is in Chanhassen – one of Minneapolis’ suburbs. The death of the singer was greatly grieved in the state, and people from all over the world go visit and take tours of his home/studio.

People cook lutefisk, Jucy Lucy, sweet potatoes, and hotdish

Lutefisk is a jellied cod fish and it tastes like Russian beef aspic (kholodets) but with fish flavor. I grew up eating Russian kholodets and that’s why lutefisk did not taste alien to me. In fact, I like it.

Juicy Lucy is a cheeseburger that has the cheese inside of the meat patty versus on top (like most of cheeseburgers do). Apparently, it was first served in Minneapolis in the 1950s. If you are not a vegetarian, you will love it!

Sweet potatoes are just weird. Before coming to the U.S., I didn’t even know that potatoes can be sweet. They do taste like potatoes … but sweet. I just can’t have potato as a desert, sorry! It’s too strange.

Hotdish is whatever you can mix together (usually burger, green peas and tater tots) and bake in the oven. It tastes just meh.

I would say it is not too bad with the emphasis on “too.”

Minnesota becomes Minnesnowta in winter

And I become Minnefrozan.

The intensity of snow will vary from winter to winter but there will ALWAYS be snow and ice in the streets. Temperatures will vary too, but very often it is below 0F (below -17C).

People follow Minnesota Nice rules

I am still adjusting to Minnesota Nice which is basically a set of rules to follow in order to be polite or remain neutral.

Winter starts in November and ends in April

And it can still snow in April. Hell, it even sometimes snows in May.

The only nice thing about Minnesota winter is that it is not windy. That’s why I was able to survive here!

I spent two years in Illinois and I still think winters are more freezing there. Even though the overall temperature is higher in Illinois, the never-ending pierce winds cut your skin once you go outside. It feels like 10 knives are chopping your face.

Feature image : Jonathunder/Wikimedia Commons CC2.0