Nearly 47 years after giving up son, SGF woman’s prayers are answered

Young and unmarried, Debbie Slavens found herself “in trouble” in the 60s. The pregnant teen was sent to live with a relative in Lancaster, California.

When the baby was born, Slavens’ parents insisted she put the boy up for adoption before she could return to Springfield. She never told the child’s father about the pregnancy.

The 18-year-old was supposed to carry on as though nothing had happened.

“I remember having him and holding him. I remember going down to the nursery and looking at him through the window,” Slavens said softly. “I remember signing papers, saying goodbye. And that is the last I saw him.”

“I always had a wondering — wondering what he was doing today and what he looked like and who he married, how many kids he’s got,” she said.

Slavens’ younger sister, Susie Hannum, can attest to that.

“You always knew when it was his birthday. She was always real sad,” Hannum said.

Then last month, almost 47 years later, Slavens got a Facebook message from someone named Rob Shepperd:

“This may be an odd question, however is your maiden name Hutton and if so did you live in Lancaster, CA in 1968 with your sister? If the answer is yes to both ... there are a lot more questions to be asked from each of us.”

Slavens said the message set her heart on fire.

“I read it. And then I read it again. And then my gut just ... I knew exactly who it was.”

It took Slavens two days to find the courage to respond. Her son had found her.

“It’s an answer to my prayers,” Slavens said.

He lives in Hemet, California, where he works for the Department of Social Services. He is married with five sons. A granddaughter is coming in a few months, which will make Slavens a great-grandmother.

Just saying the words “great grandmother” makes Slavens giggle.

The two talk on the phone or text each other every day since they were first connected in July. Slavens will fly to California next week to visit Shepperd and his family. She will be there to celebrate Shepperd’s 47th birthday together on Aug. 29.

“I’m so excited. And I’m so nervous,” Slavens said of meeting Shepperd face to face.

A young mom

After putting her son up for adoption in California, Slavens returned home to Springfield.

Slavens said she was so distraught over giving up her baby that she got pregnant again as soon as she could with another boy — Michael. As with the first baby, Slavens did not tell Michael’s father.

“I didn’t want him in the picture. I just wanted my baby,” she said.

Another son, Danny, followed soon after.

Michael always knew he had an older brother given up for adoption somewhere. But Slavens didn’t tell Danny until Michael died a few years ago.

“It was just out of the blue. Danny was here and I was thinking about Rob. And I said, ‘Danny, did you know you have another brother?’ ” Slavens recalls. “(Danny) thinks it’s pretty cool now. They talk and they get along really good.”

Slavens, who is engaged to be married in October, said reconnecting with her first born has given her joy she never knew was possible.

“This happiness is such an overwhelmingly different feeling.”

The son she gave up

Shepperd’s was a closed adoption so his birth mother was not given any identifying information about him or his adoptive family. Slavens said she remembers asking the adoption agency to have the new parents send pictures of the child. Slavens said she never received any photos.

Shepperd’s parents had adopted three other children, but divorced while Shepperd was still a baby. Shepperd said his adoptive mother was very open with her children about the adoptions.

“I always knew Debbie’s name from early on. Debbie Hutton. Every time I would see a Hutton on TV, I would look for a resemblance,” he said.

Shepperd’s adoptive mother died of cancer when he was 15.

Shepperd joined the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints about 20 years ago. And even though the LDS church is very interested in genealogy, Shepperd never did anything more than the occasional Internet search for “Debbie Hutton.”

As it turns out, there are several Debbie Huttons out there.

In recent years, a good friend named Lisa Baker began pushing Shepperd to research his family history. Baker even bought Shepperd a DNA test for his birthday, but not much was learned from it.

Earlier this year, Shepperd sent a letter to Los Angeles County, requesting all available information regarding his birth and adoption. A few weeks later he was holding a copy of the admittance form Slavens had filled out at the hospital as well as information about his adoption.

Shepperd provided the News-Leader with the documents given to him regarding his birth and adoption from the State of California Department of Social Services. The News-Leader sent those documents to Don Mencarini, adoptions support unit manager in California, who verified the information.

The names in the documents were redacted but many important details were still there.

He finally knew his birth mother's age, that she enjoyed music and sewing, her height, her weight, hair color and that she was from Missouri. The documents revealed one other important piece to Shepperd’s puzzle:

“Your birth mother came to California to give birth to you. She really did not want to place you for adoption, but she did not have the support of her parents. They were pressuring her to sign the consent to adoption. Since she did not think she would be able to adequately take care of you on her own, she signed the consent to adoption,” the documents say.

“That was one of the things that solidified my decision in making contact. I knew that it wasn’t her choice,” Shepperd said.

Shepperd and his genealogy-obsessed friend kicked up their search. Knowing her age, where she was from and her maiden name, it wasn’t long before they had connected the dots to Debbie Slavens in Springfield. They couldn’t find a phone number, but Shepperd found her on Facebook and sent a friend request and message.

After a few messages back and forth, the two were finally able to hear each other’s voices over the phone.

“I told her quickly that it was the right decision,” Shepperd said.

“She did the right thing and I had a good life. And it just keeps getting better.”

The connection

The following is Shepperd’s and Slavens’ first correspondence via Facebook messenger:

• Shepperd: Hello, My name is Rob Shepperd. This may be an odd question, however is your maiden name Hutton and if so did you live in Lancaster CA. in 1968 with your sister? If the answer is yes to both . . . . there are a lot more questions to be asked from each of us. If not please forgive the forwardness of the message if so please respond whether or not you would like to correspond.

Thank you, Rob

(Two days later)

• Slavens: The answer to your previous questions is yes and yes, why do you ask?

• Shepperd: I was born August 29th of 1968

• Slavens: I think I may know. Were you adopted?

• Shepperd: Yes. Did you give a child up for adoption? If so I would be him.

• Slavens: Yes and I have a feeling that you are. This is AWSOME at least it is for me.

• Shepperd: I would agree.

• Slavens: How did you find me? I have looked for you for years.

• Shepperd: May I call you?