“No kid wakes up in the morning and thinks, ‘I'm going to disappoint my teachers and parents today,’” says Katherine Reynolds Lewis, author of The Good News About Bad Behavior. Every kid wants to behave, Lewis argues. They just don’t have the skills yet.

In the latest episode of Home School, The Atlantic’s animated video series about parenting, Lewis explains how parents can effectively set limits for children by implementing the “four R’s rule.” By following these rules, parents can abandon the role of the “bad cop” disciplinarian and simply enjoy spending time with their kids.