Don’t look at the wheelchairs, look at the scroungers sat in them, explain ministers

Government ministers have explained that people should look beyond the disabilities of disabled people to focus on how much they might be claiming in benefits.

The revised focus on what disabled people take, rather than give, is part of what the government has described as “compassionate conservatism”.

During his 2012 conference address, the prime minister led the path towards the current policy by revealing that when he used to push his son Ivan around in his wheelchair he always thought that “some people saw the wheelchair, not the boy.”

However, Mr Cameron insisted that this attitude was now changing.

“Thanks to the policies of this government, people no longer see a wheelchair, a walking stick or someone with one of those funny big shoes,” he said.

“They now see the person in the wheelchair for what they are – a freeloading workshy layabout sponger with a Joey Deacon haircut.”

Benefit scroungers

Ministers went on to insist that the Conservative Party was a party for everyone.

“Whether you are from the north or the south, of Kensington, if you are in the black and you are white we will back you,” he said.

Responding to criticism that he is a posh boy who is out-of-touch and that the Conservatives are a party of the rich and privileged, Mr Cameron told the gathered Tory activists, “Of course I understand the struggles that people with disabilities face on a daily basis and I sympathise with those struggles.”

“Just the other day my dishwasher broke down,” he explained.

“But as an act of compassion I gave her the night off and told her she could finish it in the morning.”

“It’s compassionate conservatism.”