Disclaimer: While this guide is written by a non-binary person in collaboration with many other non-binary writers and readers, it does not necessarily cover the views of all people within the non-binary community.



PART ONE: the basics.

First off, what is this thing you call non-binary?

Non-binary genders are any gender identity that isn’t covered in the Western idea of woman (girl) and man (boy). This identity has nothing to do with which chromosomes or sexual organs a person has. Some non-binary people also identify as being trans (which is technically an umbrella term containing non-binary), while others only identify as being non-binary. Some commonly use the slang term enbie (which comes from the pronunciation of the initials for non-binary, aka N.B.) while others don’t. Some break down their gender further than simply non-binary, while others choose not to.

Some terms for common non-binary genders:

Agender: having no gender.

Bigender: having both binary genders, or aspects of two different genders, usually simultaneously. (Much like the bi in bisexual, non-binary people may also claim this term if they have any number of genders, especially if they can’t quite tell where one ends and the other begins, or they may claim the term pangender instead.)

Demi-(boy/girl/man/woman): being partially (but not wholly) binary.

Gender-fluid: transitioning between genders, which may include both binary and non-binary genders.

Gender-queer (or just queer): not of a binary gender. May be used when someone does not feel that any other terms fit them quite right, when they’re still trying to determine their gender and don’t yet wish to choose a term, or simply because the person finds it to fit them best.

There are also genders similar to what Western cultures call non-binary in many non-Western cultures, which are wonderfully diverse and all incerdibly valid, but as someone from an exclusively Western cultural heratage, I don’t feel I have the right or the knoweldge to talk about them.

So then, who are these non-binary people in real life?

The only thing that differentiates a non-binary person from a binary person is that they don’t identify as having a binary gender.

Their non-binary-ness could influence their lives in an infinite number of ways:

It could be subtle or life changing.

They could use fashion and vocal training and actions to present themselves in ways outside their society’s binary gender norms, or they could never even mention they’re non-binary to another living soul.

They could change their pronouns, or their name, or keep one or both the same.

They could spend years re-figuring out who they are and what it means to be non-binary or they could realize it once and never feel the need to dwell on it again.

They could identity as one of the numerous non-binary labels, or they could decide they’re just not binary and don’t care to dig further than that.

They could accept all gendered terms, or certain gendered terms, or no gendered terms at all.

People assuming they’re binary could frustrate them or sadden them or anger them, or they could not care in the slightest.

They may feel they exhibit (or wish to exhibit) many of the traits their society designates to a certain binary gender, or they many not.

They could feel the same way about their identity all the time, or differently every day.

Each non-binary person (and character) is unique, and their non-binary-ness is just one tiny part of who they are.

The basic do’s and don’ts for writing non-binary characters respectfully if you’re a binary person…

Keep reading