Boris Johnson says that the “deliberate vandalism” of property is the way forward for the super-rich, if Labour win the 2015 General Election.

The London Mayor hit out today at at Labour leader Ed Miliband’s newly announced plans to bring in a tax on houses worth more than £2 million.

This ‘Mansion Tax’ is designed to fund a cut in tax rates for people on low incomes, says Miliband, but Johnson argued that the “only sensible response” to the proposal was to “let it all slide”.

“If the floorboards yawn open, just cover the gap with cardboard,” advised Johnson.

“Never mind the state of the downstairs lavatory. A faint aroma of ammonia never hurt anyone. Drip from the ceiling? Shove a bucket under it.”

Johnson believes vandalism and wilful neglect is the answer to the tax, because such anti-social behaviour might help lower one’s house price below the £2 million threshold.

In fact, house prices have very little to do with the odd bit of DIY and, as we know from the TV shows, almost everything to do with location, location and location.

But, just for fun, let’s do the Mayor’s maths.

The new tax is set to be 1% on that part of a property’s price over £2 million. Say a solid bit of vandalism managed to lop £100,001 off the price of a property, taking it from £2,100,000 to just below the threshold, you’d save £1,000 in tax.

Then you’d have to pay someone a couple of grand to fix the damage, presumably before repeating the smash and grab in time for next year’s valuation, or cut off your nose to spite your face and breathe ammonia through the former hooter’s hole.