Pretty restrained by NY Post standards.

Before you ask or, Christ forbid, read that article, yes, it contains roughly one cooking pun per sentence. The story behind this is that, now a free man, Valle was looking to date and started an account on Match.com ("I was single and kind of lonely ..."). Within a couple of days, he had reporters waiting outside his house, trying to get one more clickable headline out of the infamous Cannibal Cop:

New York Post

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Of course, pun-based news should always be taken with a pinch of salt.

And Valle was oddly okay with that. "They kinda blew me up, obviously ... but it was like an article that made fun, not 'Oh my god, look at what this monster's doing.' This is an article that was making fun of me, so I was fine with it, really."

When you're destined to go down in history as a Cannibal Cop, that's about the best you can hope for.

If you want to know the whole story of the Cannibal Cop, Gil's co-written a book about his life and you can pre-order it now! Robert Evans also has a book, where he experiments with the insane drugs our ancestors used to use.

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Think Nana and Pop-Pop's loving 60-year monogamous relationship is quaint and old-fashioned? First off, sorry for that disturbing image, but we've got some news for you: the monogamous sexual relationship is actually brand new relative to how long humans have been around. Secondly, it's about to get worse from here: monkey sex.

On this month's live podcast, Jack O'Brien and the Cracked staff welcome Dr. Christopher Ryan, podcaster and author of 'Sex at Dawn', onto the show for a lively Valentine's Day discussion about love, sex, why our genitals are where they are, and why we're more like chimps and bonobos than you think.

Get your tickets here:

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