Dammit, I wanted Paul Ryan, the zombie-eyed granny starver from the state of Wisconsin and first runner-up in our most recent vice presidential pageant, to face a possible beatdown in a Republican primary as he tries to hold on to his congressional seat.

What I didn't want was a rich clown like Paul Nehlen who thinks that this is an effective campaign commercial.

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I mean, even those two black cows in the ad look up from their pasture and think, "Jesus, what a foof."

I don't know what's worse—the Sergio Leone cum Night Ranger music, the Molon Labe tat that fairly screams, "I am a gun-fondling dork who gets a quiver Down There every time I watch a fight scene in 300," or that magic moment when he walks into the building wearing his Sonny Barger drag and then emerges on the shop floor wearing a nice white shirt, a lovely blazer, and safety glasses. And who is that woman riding the bike with him? Is she his yoga instructor or the head of Human Resources?

Steve M has more of the 411 on this warrior businessman. We need a bloodthirsty ideologue and Wisconsin Republicans give us Jerry Lundegaard. Come on, Nehlen. You can do better than this and, after all, you're pretty much right on the TPP there, Leonides.

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Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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