We've just had an email from a shaken Stephen Strang who this morning took delivery of a very, very large box from HP:

Stephen said: "Imagine our excitement as we opened it, hoping against hope that it might contain a copy of some c-class virtual connect firmware that actually works."

Sadly not. What the überbox did contain was 16 smaller boxes "which in turn [each] contained (wrapped in foam so they wouldn't get broken) exactly two sheets of A4 paper":

Yup, so that's 17 boxes in total to protect 32 pages. A world-class effort there from HP. ®