For Shiro’s anniversary sale, I ended up making a little order to to try out the gloss in moderate, among a few other things. I had noticed that swatches of moderate glosses seemed to be pretty opaque, so I figured, might as well give it a go.

As you may notice, it is now the middle of June- for once, I wasn’t just a huge slacker in posting reviews. When I got my order, I found that the gloss was really sheer and also smelled like peppermint, when I ordered mine unscented. I e-mailed Caitlin and she said there was probably an error before sending out a new package with a gloss in moderate.

I was in a certain colour mood when I made this order. I feel the need to point out that the two samples she added matched the ones I got really well.

Unforgettable is a bright cool-toned red. It’s very red and very sparkly.

Scar is a gray-based lavender with a slight shimmer. I can’t really see the taupe base that much under most lights. I do really love the colour, though. It doesn’t look much like an actual scar or a murderous uncle lion, but it’s kind of my thing.

I got Bruise as a free sample, and I kinda love it so incredibly much I worry about how predictable I am. It’s a reddish-brown with a strong purple shift and it’s lovely.

I don’t think you really need Sanguine Addiction and Unforgettable in the same order- one was a free sample, but I forget which one. It’s also a sparkly red- it’s a bit more orangey and less opaque than Unforgettable. Both are nice. Let’s say Sanguine Addiction with red meat and Unforgettable with fish and move on.

I got a few contour powders since I need to start taking advantage of my cheeks. Those guys take up, like, 60% of my face and they’re not even paying rent. Do Your Research is a light, cool brown. It could be built up a bit more, but if your skin is a lot darker, it might be difficult to make a real impression.

Burn The Heart Out Of You is pretty much exactly like Do Your Research except purplier. It would probably look a bit less natural as a contour, but I kinda like it more. (Who would have thought, the blue lipstick blogger likes unnatural colours on her face.) It isn’t, like, in your face purple, but the purple tones are there.

I also got a blush sample in Teach Me Howie To Love. Because the Backstreet Boys are clearly the superior boy band. It’s a warm rose that gives me a natural-looking flush with a light hand and a natural-looking sunburn with a heavy one.

Also on this swatch arm is my swatch of the sheer Five Years Stuck On My Eyes gloss. As you can see, it’s really sheer.

In its sheer form, it adds a bit of almost bronzey sparkle to my lips, and it looks almost natural.

THAT WON’T DO.

With the second gloss, I got two more free samples that fit into the “red-brown-purple” theme I had going, as well as some Starbursts. They were both orange, which is objectively the worst Starbust flavour, but I can’t really blame Caitlyn for stealing all the red ones from me. I guess. This time.

Day Of Reckoning is a warm violet with a metallic finish. It’s really great over just primer, which is great if you’re lazy in the mornings like me and do not want to fuss around with anything.

Unsuccessfully Coping is a tawny brown with a very subtle green shift that mostly just makes it look grayer. It’s kind of a neat effect, but I don’t know how often I’d reach for it.

So let’s talk about the glossy elephant in the room and the main reason I’m smashing this review out at 1:45 AM the day before I have two job interviews. Ordering this gloss was a huge adventure, since I had never even seen Five Years Stuck On My Eyes in person before. Still, I figured the colour would make exactly the sort of gloss I wanted, and I was 100% not wrong. It’s a brownish purplish grayish nude in most lights, and it turns really bronzey in certain lights. I love it more than I have ever loved a halfway nude lip product. Like, I hardly ever repeat lip products two days in a row, and I’ve been wearing this one for three. As for the moderate opacity, I actually quite like it. I can see why I would want to go full opaque if I was doing a darker colour, but especially for something so close in colour to my actual lips, I really like the moderate. I find the opaque gets a bit gritty, and the moderate just feels like nice non-runny gloss.

So, long story short- buy this gloss, it’s great.