Trump Declares New Holiday: Tanksgiving

WASHINGTON D.C.—During a meeting with officials about Trump's Fourth of July tank parade, one of the men on Trump's staff jokingly said to another, "Happy Tanksgiving." The man—a father of four children (obviously)—was overheard by the president who immediately decided this "Tanksgiving" thing was a great idea.

"It'll be a day of tanks. Big tanks, little tanks, all the best tanks. The greatest tanks, really terrific tanks. Tanks are fun to watch drive around, everyone agrees. Believe me, this is what the country wants more than anything," Trump told the press. "And it's a great play on words. Very clever."

Tanksgiving will be the nation's first monthly holiday and will be celebrated the third Thursday of every month.

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