A Scottsdale doctor has found a way to make fat look awesome: He turns it into titties.

Dr. Todd Malan is the first doctor in the United States to use a new method of breast augmentation that takes stem cells found in fat, mixes it up a bit, and whamo! You got yourself some happenin' new boobs.

Dr. Malan's office tells New Times that the standard fat-injection boob job was introduced in the late 1980's but that complications from the procedure caused it to be banned until Malan, a U.S. tit-job pioneer, perfected a procedure in use in places like Europe and Japan.

The key to Malan's procedure is clean fat.

Malan uses "body jet water liposuction," which, unlike standard liposuction procedures, gently removes fat instead of tearing it out. The latter can cause fat to become polluted and lead to complications, Milan's people say.

But wait, it gets even better.

All this according to his office:

Once Malan pulls out the fat, he extracts stem cells from the lard, which he concentrates and then mixes back into the fat before turning it into a fabulous pair of chesticles.

Because the fat is infused with concentrated stem cells, the jugs continue to grow even after the procedure.

The hyper-concentrated stem cells help grow new blood vessels to feed the fat, which helps healing and allows them to grow even larger.

The fat used in the procedure retains the characteristics of its origin. Not saying the boobs will look like an ass, if that's where the fat comes from but rather that it will grow the way ass or belly fat would as a person gains or loses weight.

In other words, when you eat a Twinkie and it goes right to your hips, after Malan's procedure it will go right to your knockers -- if those knockers are made out of hip fat.

The same rule applies with losing weight. If you exercise like a maniac but can't seem to get rid of stubborn love handles, if those love handles are converted into a boob, it aint goin' anywhere.

Malan only recommends the procedure for individuals looking to increase their breast size by one or two cup sizes, and it isn't cheap. Malan's procedure ranges from $10,000- $20,000 but we bet if you splurge for the boob job, the doc might throw in a "laser vaginal rejuvenation," or a "designer laser vaginoplasty," also offered at Malan's clinic (does this guy have the best job in the world? Hmmm).

For more info on getting the fattest titties in town, check out Malan's Web site here.

