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The Dodgers get cheated about of two World Series, women don’t put lids on, Ethan Ralph gets robbed at fake gun point, Dame Pesos’ documentary on Cenk Uyger, stealing valor, my call in to The Young Turks, fat women in little track suits, a regular guy competes in the Special Olympics, more whore stories, Bernie Sanders will be robbed, and Hazencruz and Miss Phase quit the show; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

I can feel a great storm on the horizon. And it feels different than the last one. Twice as big, twice as bad, twice as…episodes? Episode 200 is approaching, and thanks to all you wonderful people, I’m getting ready for it early! 9 weeks early to be precise. I’m trying to figure out what to do for the show, but we’ll see. As we all know, the devil is in the planning. That’s why women love planning so much. Because they are the devil.

A strip club party? Maddox’s funeral? Maybe we can find an excuse factory to host it, but first…

The primary cause of racism, is Racism. It’s a giant monster made of static noise and financial instruments that repels all light, roaming around the countryside and turning people against one another and purifying–purifying for the sake of purifying.

Finances are the most often cited reason for arguments among couples. And this is a person you’re having sex with. Money can’t keep you together. I guess it’s confusing to some people that money would be a factor in causing disharmony among people you have nothing in common with, don’t live near, and who are routinely stealing your shit. Note: the prior sentence applies to and for every race! It’s a glass is half white kind of riddle. The Rorschach part is, did your mind think the white part was the full part, or the empty part?

It doesn’t matter. Your bank account is half empty–or completely empty. And someone else’s is half full. That’s all that matters. Bernie knows it, Trump knows it, but only one of them is ever going to be president. It’s a shame! Because we’d probably be just fine with either one. Two old-school, hard fightin, hard fartin, grade-A misogynists; smackin ladies butts, appealing to their rape fantasies, and sharing the wealth–because that’s how junk bonds worked.

Maybe it’s not Boomers’ fault. Maybe their parents burned them out, got them so scared to say what’s obvious, they just never did. I might not either if getting my ass kicked was still on the table. Maybe that was their gift to history.

All I know is, The Dodgers are owed two World Series. In twenty years, an older young-Randy goes to a bar with a Dodgers World Series Champions: Back to Back! hat on that he got from the game decades ago. He meets a girl. They fall in love and their kid invents a pill that makes your dick bigger. Except that pill doesn’t exist. Because a bunch of muscle dummies and shit heels in Boston and Houston decided they needed their dicks bigger now. Both towns deserved to be wiped off the map and every player on both teams and their families should have their heads cut off in Minecraft. This is 10,000 times worse than the trans-panic could ever be. Athletes a mental disorder.

“Who is Cenk Uygur?” by Dame Pesos. Host of the Young Turks, congressional candidate, and supporter of bestiality, “as long as the animal is receiving pleasure”, Dame breaks down his campaign for you.



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Thumbnail of mo problems by Magi Arts!



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