‘Maybe Fixing Roads Or Tax Reform,’ Exasperated Populace Says


WASHINGTON—Reasoning that it would likely be a much better use of their time and effort, exasperated citizens across the nation announced plans Thursday to try channeling their current outrage over the country’s lack of effective gun control into an issue that can actually be addressed. “We’ve felt this collective indignation so many times before and it’s come to nothing, so maybe if we take all this anger and focus it on something achievable, like repairing our roads or modernizing the electrical grid, we could make some actual progress,” said Atlanta resident Kathryn Greenfield, one of millions of Americans who agreed that there were probably dozens of pressing national issues that could be solved using energy that would simply be wasted trying to limit access to firearms. “Improving care for our veterans or guaranteeing universal preschool education both seem like attainable goals if we wanted to direct our shared aggravation that way, or even something small like cleaning up our national parks. It’d be great if we could just accomplish something here.” At press time, the nation’s outrage had already dissipated too greatly to be capable of influencing public policy in any meaningful way.