There are things that you should never say to a pregnant woman. I can’t tell you how many postings on the internet there are about this subject. They include everything from “you’re huge” to “are you sure it isn’t twins?” But the one thing, the one stinkin’ thing I can’t stand hearing is…

“YOU LOOK LIKE YOU ARE ABOUT TO POP.”

REALLY?? I am about to pop??? Let’s discuss things I am not.

I am not…a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day balloon. Yes, I am 38 weeks pregnant and Thanksgiving is a week away. But I am not filled with helium with a bunch of handlers as I float down the streets of New York City.

A turkey. Nor has my “turkey timer” popped out. I realize this is a rite of passage for a lot of women to see their belly button invert itself. Mine is still securely in it’s normal position. There’s no reason to even think in the next couple weeks that my belly button will stick out. No, it will not magically pop out on Thanksgiving Day, even if I eat a lot. The only change to my belly button is that you can see my scar from my laparoscopic surgery I had in college.

A blimp. I am not a blimp. The Hindenburg (I refuse to Google pictures of the Hindenburg to see if there are any of it in it’s fiery glory). I am not something that just floats along, taking up space, and is randomly useful.

Anything related to popcorn, the Jiffy Pop Explosions, or anything of that nature. I promise you, my mid section is not going to explode to reveal my baby. Or a tasty treat.

Maybe at 38 weeks, I’m a little sensitive to this whole thing. But, I’m not about to pop. I promise.