It all started when I picked up my gift from my apartment office. As I bent to pick it up, its heavy weight caught me off guard. "I have no idea what's inside," I told the office worker awkwardly. I say everything awkwardly. "If it's heavy, that means it's good!" he replied, not as awkwardly.

After hauling the box upstairs and dropping it off in my place, Phaedra the cat inspected the box to ensure the contents were safe.

I do know one thing about my secret santa, he/she is excellent at taping boxes. I got to work opening the box, my heart aflutter wondering what's inside.

I was greeted by the always wonderful sight and smell of packing peanuts. I immediately began throwing them all over the room. When I realized how angry my girlfriend would be about this, I picked each peanut off the ground and put them neatly into a box. After all that painstaking work, Phaedra knocked over said box and spilled everything on the floor. That's where they remain, since it's no longer my fault. I'm sure my girlfriend will understand I can't be held responsible for the cat's actions.

Once I got to the bottom of the box, a wonderful sight greeted me. After seeing what it was, I knew my appreciation of the gift could be greatly enhanced with a little research. I fired up Google Scholar and got to digging through abstracts of the best peer reviewed journals on the subject. "Excellent!", I said after two hours of intense scrutiny. This gift will do just fine.

It was two cases of assorted beer from the Abita brewing company! I love craft beer, and my secret santa shared with me not just a gift, but a chance to experience his personal favorite beer straight out of Louisiana. How great is that?!

Thanks friend! Pictured is my living room's current state. Not my fault!