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Re: DRAFT: New riff for Iowa - Fighting for You

To pile on the positivity, this is very good, full of energy, and I think she'll be able to own it. Two notes. First, this is small, but a little expression of optimism before "Here's how we do it:" couldn't hurt. It can be fleeting, but she lights up when she verbalizes her belief that something is possible. I like that her transition is crisp and concise, so but could be as simple as "We can get this done. Here's how:" and then she can launch into the rest. Second, after the here's how the explanation feels pretty non-specific, and her brand is specificity, not to mention it's our contrast point with Bernie, so it might be worth considering beefing that up a bit. I understand it need to be brief and digestible, but calling for fairness feels like Sanders-light. Here's a slightly more specific way of formulating it and connecting the dots, that if we like in concept I'm sure Dan can make it prettier: "You determine what you can achieve. You get to work. You create good-paying jobs by investing in infrastructure and clean-energy. You create opportunity by easing the debt people carry after college and finding innovative ways to put those who've yet to go through it debt-free. You ensure quality affordable health care by building on one of the Democratic party's greatest achievements in decades and you decrease not only the cost but the anxieties that families feel when they worry about staying healthy and what they'll do if they or their loved ones are not. You deal with the problems that keep people up at night, we roll up our sleeves and find a cure for Alzheimers in the next 10 years, invest in ways to better address autism, mental health, drug abuse, the list goes on. It's not going to be easy, but it will be worth it. I know what it takes to make real change in the real lives of real people -- because I’ve been doing it my whole life. And I’m just getting warmed up. Iowa, I’m listening you. I’m fighting for you. And I’m going to deliver." On Mon, Jan 18, 2016 at 1:12 PM, Karen Finney <kfinney@hillaryclinton.com> wrote: > This is really good - one edit - on Flint we should say "their governor" > doesn't think their lives matter not "their government" which includes our > peeps who have been fighting him > > Sent from my iPhone > > On Jan 18, 2016, at 12:54 PM, Matt Paul <mpaul@hillaryclinton.com> wrote: > > We are working like hell to have someone in the clutch tonight that can > share a personal story. That usually gives her an emotional connection > that reads well in her remarks. > > > On Mon, Jan 18, 2016 at 11:52 AM, David Binder <David@db-research.com> > wrote: > >> I guess I looked at the individual stories as proof that she had been >> doing a lot of listening to real people's problems, took them to heart, and >> devised real plans to help them. >> >> Sent from mobile device >> >> On Jan 18, 2016, at 12:49 PM, Joel Benenson <jbenenson@bsgco.com> wrote: >> >> I like it a lot but I might think about leaving out real people - all >> people are real and it could make it sound like she's trying too hard, >> which is never good for her. >> >> What about: >> Real results that make real differences in people's lives. >> >> It's simpler but also we have to be the results candidate. I think if we >> start using change we'll get hammered in the press. >> >> Sent from my iPhone >> >> On Jan 18, 2016, at 12:41 PM, Maya Harris <mharris@hillaryclinton.com> >> wrote: >> >> This is terrific, Dan. Nice integration of stories and good mix of issues >> they represent. >> >> On Jan 18, 2016, at 12:27 PM, Dan Schwerin <dschwerin@hillaryclinton.com> >> wrote: >> >> We've been discussing a new riff about how HRC is fighting for real >> change in the real lives of real people, something that helps her channel >> the passion we saw last night about Flint into our core economic concerns. >> What do people think of the below? >> >> >> You know why I’m so determined? Because of you. Because of the people >> I’ve met all across Iowa and our country. >> >> >> >> I’m fighting for the teachers who lost their jobs because Governor >> Branstad vetoed funding for schools. For the child care workers and home >> health aides I’ve met who work around the clock taking care of other >> people’s families – they shouldn’t need food stamps to take care of their >> own. For the children in Flint drinking poisoned water because their >> government doesn’t think their lives matter. >> >> >> >> I’m fighting for Larry, the worried husband I met in Waterloo last >> month. His wife Brenda spends hundreds of dollars each month on medicine >> for arthritis and osteoporosis. When they see hedge fund tycoons buying >> drug companies and raising prices by 4000 percent overnight, they just want >> to scream. >> >> >> >> I’m fighting for Brandi, a young woman in Des Moines who was laid off six >> years ago in the middle of the recession. She went back to school, worked >> hard, got her degree. Now she’s a supervisor in a restaurant, but still >> only makes $9.50 an hour. That’s just not enough, not with kids in the >> house and bills to pay. She desperately needs a raise. >> >> >> >> You shouldn’t have to scream to be heard. You don’t need more promises, >> you need more results. And we don’t have time for ideas that sound good on >> paper but will never make a difference in your life. We need to roll up >> our sleeves and actually get Brandi that raise. Stand up to the drug >> companies so Larry and Brenda aren’t all alone. Make the economy work for >> the struggling, the striving, and the successful. >> >> >> >> Here’s how we do it: >> >> >> >> We need more *fairness* in this country, so all the wealth and >> opportunities don’t just go to those at the top. But we can’t stop there. >> We also need more *growth* in our economy, so you can find that new job, >> get that raise, start a small business – so you can get ahead and stay >> ahead. America grows when *your* paycheck grows. Not when >> multimillionaires get another tax cut. >> >> >> >> I know what it takes to make real change in the real lives of real people >> -- because I’ve been doing it my whole life. And I’m just getting warmed >> up. Iowa, I’m listening you. I’m fighting for you. And I’m going to >> deliver. >> >> >> 395 words >> >> <2016-01-18 Fighting for You Econ riff.docx> >> >> >