Updated Channel Update

This last video I uploaded has been a wakeup call. I said I'm gonna start doing double uploads? Am I going mad?! Fuck no, what the fuck am I thinking? Not doing that, absolutely not. If anything, at the most, I'm gonna do 1 video a week, maybe even 1 video every 2 weeks now and then.



I've found that for the past 2-3 months or so, I've not really been enjoying the process of making videos at all, like I used to. Before it was a fun hobby, but recently it started slipping and not being as fun, and now it's very much a job most of the time, and I hate that. Not gonna lie, I wasn't happy with this video I just put out, but I was thinking to myself "Omg, I can't miss an upload, Jesus Christ! Fuck it, just polish this turd up as much as you can and upload it," which is a horrible way to go about it. I think I need to stop taking it so seriously, stop caring so much about what the Youtube algorithm wants and go back to making videos for the fucking fun of it, and being proud of the video I make.



Before I'd wake up and be like ":D yeeeeeah! Let's get out of bed so I can research this video so I know it inside out! Breakfast can wait! :D" but now I'm like "ugh....I'll start in 15 minutes." My mentality's completely changed. Recipe for disaster, that is.



So videos may be slightly less frequent from now on (not by a lot, but an extra missed weekend here and there, at least a little more than before), but I'm gonna be working more on them. My focus is gonna be on making sure I'm happy with the video before I upload it. I need to realise that I'm not a Youtuber who can churn out a handful of videos every week. They may look I shit them out in half an hour while drunk, but I can assure you that's not the case :p they take a lot longer than it looks lol.



"But Grade, you used to make a video every week no problem"

Yeah, because I enjoyed it. But I don't any more. I'm gonna ease up on the videos until I enjoy them again and who knows, maybe I'll have that boner for making videos back longer and harder and vein-ier than ever before!



I've been pressuring myself to make more and more videos, and when pressure comes into it, it's always gonna become less fun. But I'm not taking this as a bad thing, I'm taking it as a blessing in disguise, hopefully. If I can work on it and get myself to discover my love of making videos again, happy days.



I think I started hearing every Youtuber spewing that shit about "10 minute videos! Youtube likes videos longer than 10 minutes" and I let it get to me, and add to the pressure I was putting on myself overall. Yes Youtube wants 10 minute videos, but Louis CK makes 60 minutes of material every fucking year. I'd rather be more like Louis CK than the average Youtuber ffs, churning out 3x 10min14sec videos every week.



OK I'm rambling now, I think I've made my point.

But in summary, I'm sorry. That video was fucking trash, I'm not proud of it and I'm gonna work on my attitude towards making videos, because if I can fix that, everything's golden. Before shit was effortless, now I'm overthinking everything, and it's so much harder. But I've diagnosed the problem and I'm on it.



I'm gonna go to sleep now and I'm gonna wake up and start scanning over video ideas :)



Much love,

Grade

:) >

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