I sat on the carpeted floor of my living room and stared blankly into the grey sky through my window. As it poured rain on this dreary Sunday afternoon I found myself thinking about how I got myself here yet again. Turns out life is funny like that, and the phrase “history repeats itself” is far broader than pertaining to the world and current events.

This past year I have not been myself. Surprise. This happens a lot.

I felt my relationship with my husband… no, my Master slipping. Our dynamic was nothing of what it used to be and it seemed like there were only slivers of hints of what it was here and there. I had let my mind wander too much. I had allowed myself to falter, and in return Master felt no need to reel me in. He also felt like giving up it seems and we were both to blame, but I certainly never helped.

A few days ago (Wednesday, I believe) we had a particularly rough conversation about our dynamic and what had happened to it. We also discussed what needed to change. In short; a lot. We both had a lot to chew on, but for once it was me that had really let things go.

I had been insubordinate, mean, angry, and all around not what I should be. It seemed that the word “submission” ceased to exist in my vernacular and personality. As a result… Master didn’t feel the need to instill it back into me. Perhaps He waited for me. I am always the first to start the hard conversations. I am quick to try and fix problems when I finally recognize there is one, and if I am not ready, then I don’t talk about it. Not necessarily smart or good.

A day later I brought it up again to Him. I asked if He had thought about it at all and if there was anything to do about it. I had been reading and watching BDSM related topics in search of an answer when it suddenly hit me. Training. I needed proper training. Detailed training. I needed to be sculpted into what would best serve Master, so I sent Him a text message asking Him to consider this.

Friday came and went and we really hadn’t talked any about it so I mentally deemed it a lost cause and went to sleep.

Saturday morning we both awoke fairly late in the morning and I was feeling rather bummed. Master asked me what was wrong and I replied “Nothing.” A bold faced lie that He is always able to see through.

“I haven’t forgotten. You want me to train you, right? In the way I need from you?”

I gave a nod and quietly replied “Yes.”

“Then I am going to set some ground rules starting this minute.” He looked me in the eyes and instantly I knew He was serious.

“From here on out any order I give you you are to always reply with a “Yes, Sir.”

I nodded my head, to His disdain.

“I need to hear you say it, slave.”

“Y-yes, Sir.”

“Good. Now, I want you kneeling more often. From here on out when we are home or in kink friendly environments your place is to kneel at my side. That is your place only and no one else’s. You will not be allowed to sit on any furniture unless I deem it okay. When I come home from work I don’t care what you are doing or where you are in the apartment, you are to stop what you are doing and immediately greet me and kneel at my feet while saying ‘Welcome home, Master or Sir.’ Is that understood?

I replied with a more sincere “Yes, Sir.”

“When we eat; you will bring me my food and drink first. You will present it to me appropriately and when I allow you to leave then you may go about getting your own. When we have friends over you are to serve them in this manner as you serve me. Is that clear?”

“Yes, Sir.”

The not being allowed on furniture ended up being a form of punishment for how I had been these past few months, but before we ended our conversation He tacked on one more punishment.

“I think these next few days I am going to use you how I like. I’m going to use you for the sole purpose of making myself cum and I don’t care if you get to or not…. In fact… I forbid it. You’re not allowed to orgasm this week. See that as added punishment for slacking off on your duties lately.”

I grimaced and gave Him another “Yes, Sir” to which He quickly replied, “Is there a problem? I saw that look on your face.”

“No, Sir.”

He gave a smug chuckle to himself and casually replied “Good.”

After we had established some new rules, Master deemed it time for breakfast and I went about serving Him as He had directed. It felt a little strange… doing this again. We hadn’t done this in such a long time that this felt foreign to me. I served Him breakfast first, then got myself breakfast. I sat on the floor at His side while we ate our breakfast and took his bowl from Him after we were finished.

We ended up taking a shower together and He informed me that I would suck His cock in the shower. A few other words were said (something about Him owning me and doing what He pleases with me), but I started laughing. He cocked His head to the side.

“You see… you’re laughing… like it’s a nervous reaction of being in danger right now and I just don’t know why you’re doing that…” He grabbed me by the throat, then spun me around and pushed me against the cold wall of the shower stall. “What is so funny? I’m being serious with you.”

He was right, I hadn’t realized it until the truth spilled from his lips. I WAS laughing because I was nervous. I was nervous because I hadn’t seen Him this serious in such a long time.

“I’m sorry, Sir! I don’t know!” I spewed out amidst more laughter and a scream from my warm flesh being pressed against the cold surface.

He got right up in my face and nearly growled as He spoke to me, “You are my property. If I tell you to suck my cock, you suck my cock. If I give you and order, you obey. If I spit on you, you thank me. If I choose to piss on you, you thank me. If I allow you to orgasm, you thank me. Anything I give you, you thank me.”

I quickly replied with a “Yes, Sir.”

With no warning He spat on my face and I felt his spit roll down my left cheek. He watched me intently and I knew what was expected of me.

“T-Thank you, Sir.”

He spat on me again.

“Thank you, Sir.”

He spat on me a third time and slightly rubbed it along my cheek with His thumb as He eyed me like a cat sizing up a mouse. He leaned in close to me and stated in a deep, low voice “If I tell you to jump…?”

My mind was still reeling after He had just spat on me three times so it took a second for this question to register with my brain. “I… ask how high, Sir?”

“Yes you do. Good.” He smirked at me and rinsed his spit off of my face before having me pleasure His aroused cock with my mouth. This moment was fleeting before we finished our shower and I went about getting myself ready for the day.

I had been working on laundry previously that morning and had to throw on some clothes to go get them out of the dryer. When I got back upstairs, Master came into the bedroom and decided it was time for me to finish that blowjob I had started for Him in the shower. This time I was instructed to keep sucking Him off while He came into my mouth. I told Him I would try, but I couldn’t promise that would work given my aversion to the texture of semen and how it makes me gag.

I took Him into my mouth and worked up a good rhythm in a short amount of time. Sucking cock has always been one of my strong suits and I knew all the right ways to work my tongue along His shaft to be most pleasing to Him. It wasn’t long before I could feel His climax close to fruition. He moaned softly, giving me verbal and physical queues that He was getting closer and closer. My brain immediately started panicking knowing what was expected of me. I felt His cock begin to pulsate in my mouth and His warm cum spurting into the back of my throat.

I tried to continue sucking Him off and holding His cum in my mouth, but my body and throat reacted as the nearly always do and I felt the familiar gagging reaction break my concentration. I choked on His cock and cum and accidentally spewed his cum all over Him and the bed. I quickly moved away, tears welled up in my eyes from my gag reflex and also shame for failing Him. All the while I’m gagging and choking on what cum is left in my throat. I spat it into the trash can and immediately started to apologize to Him.

He calmly instructed me to retrieve a washcloth for Him and for me to rinse out my mouth and throat. I proceeded with my instructions and as I tried to rinse out my mouth I dry heaved a little bit right above the kitchen sink. The gagging and coughing was unbearable and could not be stifled. It took a lot of rinsing and drinking water before I was able to regain composure. After I was better, He rubbed my back and checked up on me, making sure I was okay. I apologized again and He held me close.

“Stop apologizing. I forgive you, even though you don’t need to be sorry.”

After some quick cuddles in the kitchen we went about our weekend as our new normal. I did my best to maintain my role and my new found “place” in our home. I have slipped up a few times this weekend, but I have quickly realized when I have messed up and corrected myself. Master says that this is something I need to do; be more aware of what I am doing and be more aware of asking for permission for things I once took for granted. I need to work on being more mindful and keeping myself in check.

Master has been lenient with me these last 48 hours, but I know the real test will be starting tomorrow when I begin doing more of what is expected of me. I just hope I can remember my place better so He won’t have to remind me. I know if He has to more punishments will be instilled and losing furniture and orgasm privileges will likely be the least of my worries….