Why he ever payed attention to you in the first place is a mystery.

At his region’s monthly Project M tournament, Donkey Kong main, Daniel “BigDK” Kessler has determined that he is way too cool to be talking to you anymore after he just beat the #1 PR’d player 3-1 in Winners Finals. In a recent interview with the obviously well-endowed Donkey Kong main, Kessler had this to say, “I love how this community and game brings so many people together. We all share a common love for this awesome game, except that guy. He’s kind of a loser to be honest.” After the interview, Kessler excused himself to play a few of the many players who had asked him for friendlies within the first minute of his arrival at the venue.

“BigDK is so fuckin cool. He’s hands down my favorite player in the scene and if he didn’t exclusively style on opponents like a fucking boss, he’d definitely be the best player in the state. He’s way cooler than that fuckin tryhard loser staring at the camera. Between you and me, I think I’d be okay with it if he fucked my girlfriend,” reported the region’s #3 PR’d player, Adam “WaftGod” Jones.

In a heartwarming turn of events, Kessler split the pot with #1 PR’d player, who said he needed the prize money so he could afford “the good shit.” Before leaving the venue to go bang his smoking-hot girlfriend, reporters on the scene asked Kessler for any final thoughts regarding you.

“What’s his name, again?” Since this remark, almost nobody in your local scene can get your tag right, but it’s too cringy for anyone to remember anyway.

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