22:19

Did one of your former colleagues compare you to the Prince of Darkness and tell the world that you are the least agreeable “son of a bitch” that they’d ever had the misfortune of working with? No? Then you had a better day than Texas senator Ted Cruz, who was put on blast in a speech former House speaker John Boehner gave to college students that was equal parts fire and brimstone.

“Lucifer in the flesh,” Boehner told an audience at Stanford University last night, according to the Stanford Daily. “I have Democrat friends and Republican friends. I get along with almost everyone, but I have never worked with a more miserable son of a bitch in my life.”

In a week when we thought nothing could get more bizarre than vice presidential would-be Carly Fiorina bursting into song, today was really a feat of political imagination. Here’s a quick rundown of the biggest news from the campaign trail today:

After Boehner’s “Lucifer in the flesh” comments ( sidenote: We’re going to start giving this review about normal stuff and people: “How was brunch?” “It was Lucifer in the flesh. A miserable son of a bitch.”) the Texas senator distanced himself from the former House speaker, telling reporters in a news conference in Fort Wayne, Indiana, that he had only met Boehner a handful of times. “He allowed his inner Trump to come out,” Cruz added.

We’re going to start giving this review about normal stuff and people: “How was brunch?” “It was Lucifer in the flesh. A miserable son of a bitch.”) the Texas senator distanced himself from the former House speaker, telling reporters in a news conference in Fort Wayne, Indiana, that he had only met Boehner a handful of times. “He allowed his inner Trump to come out,” Cruz added. Speak of the Devil and he doth appear: Donald Trump lucked out with today’s Luciferian news cycle, and picked up the endorsement of House transportation committee chair Bill Shuster to boot. Throw in the resigned endorsement of former Mitt Romney aide Ron Kaufman - who compared Trump to Ronald Reagan - and he’s got himself a party.

lucked out with today’s Luciferian news cycle, and picked up the endorsement of House transportation committee chair Bill Shuster to boot. Throw in the resigned endorsement of former aide - who compared Trump to - and he’s got himself a party. While Trump is making nice with members of Congress and the Republican establishment, it seems like his two opponents for the Republican nomination can’t even go 24 hours without betraying one another. . A short few days after a strategic alignment between Cruz and Ohio governor John Kasich implied that the two would work together to deny Trump the nomination, and Cruz is already backing down from the deal. “I recognize that the media is all eager to talk about an alliance,” Cruz said in the same press conference. “There is no alliance.”

implied that the two would work together to deny Trump the nomination, and Cruz is already backing down from the deal. “I recognize that the media is all eager to talk about an alliance,” Cruz said in the same press conference. “There is no alliance.” Cut to John Weaver, a senior adviser to Kasich, tweeting this:



John Weaver (@JWGOP) I can't stand liars.

What could that be about?

As for the Democrats, former secretary of state Hillary Clinton unveiled a literal “Woman Card” for her supporters, piggybacking on remarks made by Trump that she has characterized as sexist. (The cards are modeled after New York City’s MetroCards, but hopefully swipe easier.)

unveiled a literal “Woman Card” for her supporters, piggybacking on remarks made by Trump that she has characterized as sexist. (The cards are modeled after New York City’s MetroCards, but hopefully swipe easier.) Meanwhile, with his hopes of winning the Democratic nomination fading, Vermont senator Bernie Sanders is hoping to make his mark on the Democratic party in another way - by reshaping the nomination process to allow non-Democrats to have their say.

That’s it for news from the campaign trail - tune in tomorrow for more up-to-the-second updates from the campaign.