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In June, Donald Trump put failed Minnesota congresswoman Michele Bachmann on his Evangelical Advisory Board. In July, that appointment paid off as Bachmann announced that just as God had once chosen her to be president – yeah, don’t ask – he had now ‘lifted up’ Donald Trump to defeat Hillary Clinton.

It was necessary she say this, because in 2013 she’d assured us all that only God could defeat Hillary Clinton. Trump without God was doomed to fail, but as the old Crusader adage (Romans 8:31) goes, “If God is for us, who is against us?” See how that works? Deus Vult! God wills it!

At a Minnesota fundraiser for Trump on Sunday, the xenophobic Bachmann, who hates lots of people but specializes in fear and loathing of Muslims – she once said she wanted to declare war on an entire religion – dropped a terrifying bombshell: she’s advising Donald Trump on foreign policy.

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I’m not sure you can actually call it advising when the advisor knows no more than the person being advised, but for the sake of argument, let’s pretend you can. Cause everything in Trump and Bachmann’s world is make believe anyway, right?

So, according to MPR News, Bachmann said,

“He also recognizes there is a threat around the world, not just here in Minnesota, of radical Islam. I wish our President Obama also understood the threat of radical Islam and took it seriously.”

Yeah…because, ya know, Minneapolis is looking more like Kabul every day. I guess it’s fitting a woman this ignorant should be advising a colossally ignorant man.

Just a couple weeks ago Bachmann was lamenting, “Is political correctness killing this country? I think so.” You can see why she likes Trump: “He’s a common-sense guy, not into political correctness. Because common sense says you should offend anyone and everyone every day and twice on Sunday.

Proving she has gained no more access to our shared reality than she had as a representative, Bachmann added,

“He has turned businesses around, and that’s what he wants to do with the country.”

Well, there are all those bankruptcies. His refusal to pay contractors. You know. And then there is the little detail of President Obama having already turned the country around. But hey, she says her god chose her personally to lose an election and there is no reason to suspect he would not do the same for Trump.

After all, God once chose three people the same year to be president.

All of them lost.

For his part, Trump must have been afraid to turn to a pillar of salt because he stayed inside the Convention Center with the people who’d paid to see him, just so he could, Bachmann claims, put Minnesota in play. A state that hasn’t gone Republican since 1972.

Because that’s likely.

Bachmann assured the press as she headed inside,

“People want to live, mind their own business and have a good job, and I think that’s something Donald Trump understands.” Well, unless you’re gay, cause you can’t get married. Or Muslim or Mexican, because you can’t even get into the country. There are exceptions. ‘Yuge exceptions, as The Donald would say.

The Trump movement is unshakable in its belief that white people should not only be free enough to live and mind their own business, but they should have the right to mind other peoples’ business too.

I mean, that’s freedom.

Meanwhile, Evan Siegfried, a 33-year-old Republican strategist from New York, is calling Trump a “carnival-barking Cheeto Jesus.”

Weigh the claims: Chosen by God, or Cheeto Jesus.

I’ll let you decide. I think you know the answer already.