It's time to talk about the meaning of "hotwife." You've heard the phrase hotwife in porn lately, but it's time to get down and dirty, and find out just what a hotwife is. Welcome to the Prude's Probe, an ongoing series investigating the world of hot, kinky fetishes by a man whose only perversion is knee socks. This edition, we investigate the world of hotwifing.

I, like many, am a jealous man. (Not in the bad way-I don't think). If I catch another man hitting on my girl, my reaction is based entirely upon the threat. I know a small guy is not her type, so I don't really get angry. A big fella who may be more of a threat, and I may get a bit upset. Either way, my reaction is to step in and display that she's with me. My girlfriend doesn't mind this; she finds me cute when I'm jealous, and often needs annoying men and their advances shooed away. (Editor's note: Victor's girlfriend is really captivating. He's actually not exaggerating. For once.)

But not every man is like me.

As the HotMovies archive would suggest...

"Lifestyle fetishes" tend to be the most visible and talked about variety, as they are the most common. The free love of the 60's and swinger life of the 70's wasn't about a physical sensation or a manner of dress. They effected the way the participant lived their daily life with their closest associates. They represent a philosophy, not a fetish. The hippies of the 60's chose to reject "waiting until marriage" and marriage altogether to have sex with who they wanted, when they wanted. By the 70's, they got bored and got married anyway, because hippies are hypocrites. They also continued fucking whoever they felt like and made it okay via swinging. Some claim this may have contributed to the mass wave of divorces beginning around that time that continue today. However, a select group of people may have worked out all the kinks by ditching the swinging for a different kind of kick: hotwifing. The men who not only want their wives to sleep with other men; they want to watch, and they get off to watching their wife enjoy sex with someone else.

Before we discuss what hotwifing IS, it would be best to point out what hotwifing ISN'T:

It is NOT Cuckolding

Much like hotwifing, cuckolding is the act of watching a partner engage in sex with another man. However, the motivation comes from an entirely different place. Hotwifing is based around the husband enjoying the woman's pleasure. In cuckolding, the man is basking in the humiliation of his partner being pleased by a stronger, more capable male.

It is EVEN LESS swinging

Though similar (and certainly not mutually exclusive), swinging is about allowing two people in a relationship to have sex with others to fulfill their own needs. Swinging is more of an agreement, while hotwifing is specifically based on the wife's sex with another man, and her husband's observation and enjoyment of it.

(*When interviewing hotwife enthusiasts for this article, numerous people stated that confusion for these two activities is the SINGLE BIGGEST misconception most people have of hotwifing.)

Now, at my job here at HotMovies, I encounter almost every fetish under the sun (including participating in one man's fart fetish very recently), but this one may be the most alien to me and my sensibilities. While I can understand everything from sploshing to suspension, picturing the person I love the most getting rammed into ecstasy by somebody else puts acid in my veins and deflates my penis. How can this possibly work without backfiring? What's the point of marriage and commitment in the first place only to share it around? Are these people fucked up in their promiscuity, or am I fucked up in my prudishness? Well, I've never seen an abyss I haven't gazed long into, so I went I decided to explore further.

How It Works

I explored Reddit, my normal go-to for pervert education. I found numerous sub-reddits of men sharing photos of their wives with creamy cum filled pussies, sent while out on a fuck trip. They talked about looking for hot "bulls" to expand their wife's repertoire. But the thing that boggled my mind the most was, despite clearly being aroused into a frenzy at these thoughts, the overwhelming majority of the men claim it's all about the WOMAN'S ENJOYMENT. Many of these posts seemed to suggest the exact opposite: multiple threads about dressing your spouse up as a hotwife, fantasizing about the wife as their own personal porn star to watch, the fact that it is almost always the man to initiate this exploration, etc...Despite their valiant claims of it all being about the woman's enjoyment, all the text available shines a blinding light on the men always pulling the strings and gaining the most enjoyment. Some even proclaim their desires are motivated by their belief in feminism, but are blind to their own motivations of enjoyment.

My initial judgments are somewhat harsh. Those stated facts, plus numerous immature posts (just the nomenclature of "hotwife" sounds middle school-ish), just make the whole thing seem petty. Like most fetishes, there's a underlying current of "Everybody feels this way, we're just the only ones brave enough to express it!" seen in image macro-memes of sultry women, leering behind text exclaiming: "You KNOW you'd love to see her take a strange man's cock then take her home to bed." However, a bit more research allowed me to peel back the layers on this adulterous anathema onion.

Wipes away tear "How did you know? I've been hiding it for so long..."

Author's Note: Full disclosure to any hotwife practitioner: I can be a judgmental prick. I consider myself a very open minded person, but my cold logic and Catholic upbringing have ensured every new idea I'm exposed to will result in an initial knee-jerk dismissal. Luckily, I'm Irish as well and am comfortable reminding myself I'm a moron, and digging a little deeper.

Sperm Competition

One of the easiest dismissals of any lifestyle fetish is nature/evolution. If so much of the social structures of humans and animals in nature are focused on spreading our DNA no matter what, and specifically OURS, then how is exposing your wife and mate to other partners anything other than a deviant aberration? Cuckolding, for example, is survival of the fittest in action; the man is being mocked because he is too weak to do anything while a stronger, fitter, and therefore, better man is taking what was his. It's a safe way to revel and wallow in weakness. However, a little more research showed that hotwifing has some place in nature as well!

One concept in nature is known as "sperm competition." This applies to many different smaller behaviors, including the interesting fact that a woman's vagina alone is capable of sorting through several different cumloads inside her, and more enable the sperm with the strongest genetic match in insemination. (As if we needed anymore confirmation that vaginas were magic). A related behavior has been observed in the wild with long-pairing animal mates; if the female is mated with by an outside male, the partnered male will have more vigorous sex with her immediately after. In experiments relating to this, researchers have found the partnered male will have a higher sperm count and ejaculate harder in this scenario. The male is cumming in his mate to make his sperm and the intruder's sperm LITERALLY fight to the death (or, actually, birth). In numerous posts and conversations with hotwife practitioners, I've heard men say they were "overcome with an animal instinct" after watching their wives with another man, and had the hottest and hardest sex of their lives immediately after the wife's session with a bull. So despite seeming to fly in the face of my understanding of mating and nature, there's a well purposed process at play.

The Porn Effect

Another reasoning behind the arousal is one of the simplest that I believe applies to most fetishes-it's taboo. You'd be hard pressed to find a person alive who hasn't enjoyed doing something just because they weren't supposed to do. There's also a hefty dose of plain, old voyeurism involved. The current generation of 30-somethings and below have all grown up with an unprecedented access to porn, and had seen thousands of sexual acts before they themselves ever performed one. That's why it's not so surprising to see multiple statements viewing the wife as the man's "personal porn star." If your entire sexual life since day one has including lusting over a woman fucking another man on a screen, why would it not continue with someone you lust after in real life?

However, the most enlightening part of my search was when I reached out to the men themselves. There's a thriving community online of hotwife enthusiasts, and I put out several posts asking my biggest questions about their lifestyle. My favorite response regarded how they realized their thrill at a significant other sleeping with another man. This poster confided to me, "I will say that most guys I've met who are into hotwifing or cuckolding usually were cheated on in college and got angry but strangely turned on by it." He and others stated that there was some sexual dejection that led to their discovery, and that pursuing that same adrenaline dump artificially within a relationship was the best way to get their rocks off. To them, hotwifing is all of that initial sexual thrill of their woman with another man, without the pain and sadness of losing a relationship over it.

There are still some issues I see with the subculture as a whole. Obviously, consenting adults can blah blah blah, we all know the drill. Whether I personally approve or disapprove, I wouldn't want anyone to be discriminated against for their choices. But...a lot of this seems disingenuous. In this group of participants, there were always multiple discussions of backfires, failed marriages, and whether or not the whole thing was better left to fantasy. Moreover, I could not find a single woman to get her opinion on the practice. In a fetish that's supposed to be all about the woman's pleasure, isn't that a bit counter-intuitive? Are they all just so satiated on cock they feel no need to discuss? So many of the men only discuss their own perspective; average sized men specifically seek out bulls with bigger dicks, wanting to see his wife experience the pleasure of it. Clearly projecting his own perspective of her desires, and not her own. Moreover, EVERY SINGLE SITE I researched featured a large "Convincing Your Wife" article. In an activity that focuses on pampering the wife, how much convincing would she need? And what about all the comments on how great it feels to see other men lust over your wife? So much of it seems like an ego stroke solely for the man! They shout out repeatedly"BUT THE WOMAN FEELS SO MUCH SEXIER AND CONFIDENT AFTER!" Than why aren't the wives littering these forums declaring their happiness?

The hypothetical wife all these men seem to be talking about. Notice how all the text was clearly never run past a woman at any point, ever.

It's at this point I reminded myself; I can be a dismissive dick sometimes...so I tried a different route.

I sent out some feelers on Reddit to talk directly to the men themselves. I can't say they swayed me completely, but it was certainly illuminating.

The Enlightened Elders of Reddit

I asked how the fetish worked and developed. Most responses echoed each other: the desires tended to develop late in the relationship when sex life was waning, the man typically had a vested interest in precisely who the wife was sleeping with, and they kept it away from friends and family to avoid awkwardness. One particular user took a different route, talking his best friend into fucking his wife, and it seemed to be a good system for him. "For me, very much so. We are mutual friends and it's a bonus to talk to him about his experiences with my wife like talking to the guys about a football game. We don't look for random partners for safety (STI) reasons and having one bull whom you can count on makes things much smoother."

Almost all the men agreed, saying they relied on steady bulls for the same reasons. It reduced the risk of STIs, it was easier to manage when the wife was in a "friends with benefits" scenario with her bull, and it gave them plenty of opportunity to indulge. The rate of occurrence was surprisingly often. I would've guessed this was an "every six months" kind of fetish, but all my responders stated it was several times a week to once a month. Even for the once a monthers, that seemed to be more a scheduling issue than anything else.

That fact may have been the one that turned me. It would be a fairly accurate generalization to say large percentage of wives would try quite a bit to keep their husband happy. But there is a vast ocean between "trying something" to "several times in a month." These women, though not as vocal on social media about it, are clearly enjoying it enough to keep it up. I may have been judging my Hothusbands wrong through all of this. If the woman enjoys it enough to do it repeatedly, that would seem to indicate they actually do find their own type of fulfillment through it.

In Conclusion

I still don't get it. It still sounds revolting to me, personally. And so much of the discourse strikes me as really strange...like looking down on cuckolds, despite both actions being the same aside from motivation. But...it's not my job to get it. If I did, I'd be doing it. The important thing is, the people who enjoy it are legitimate. They've considered all the risks and do their best to minimize them. They make sure all parties are comfortable before proceeding further. And most of all... they truly, truly enjoy watching their wives smiling faces as they get fucked by other men. So whether they enjoy sending the wife out for some dicking in real life, or they decided to stick to fantasies with the films on HotMovies.com, they are a sincere group of people just trying to get their rocks off like the rest of us.

If the old adage, "Happy Wife = Happy Life" is true, perhaps the full equation should read, "Hotwife = Happy Wife = Happy Life".

Now imagine your grandfather fawning over another man fucking your grandmother. LET'S HEAR YOU JUSTIFY IT NOW!!!

Guess this explains Grandma's "salty kisses".

Indulge your fantasies with the hotwives on HotMovies.com.