When José Mourinho says he is going to make things awkward, he means it. In fact, when José Mourinho says the sun is shining and two plus two make four, he means he’s going to make things awkward. There are no words powerful enough not to be jiggered by one of Mourinho’s mighty spanners.

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So when the Chelsea manager hinted last week that he could complicate any proposed Petr Cech move to Arsenal, he was not kidding: evidence of that has emerged today with claims Mourinho is happy to let the goalkeeper move to the Emirates – provided that Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain comes to Stamford Bridge. Your move, Arsène.

Meanwhile, how’s this for a pretty goalkeeping circle: David De Gea is going to move to Real Madrid, so Manchester United are going to buy Hugo Lloris, so Tottenham Hotspur are going to buy, yes, Iker Casillas! And now check out this circle: Manchester City want Paul Pogba, but the Frenchman’s going to move to Barcelona, so Manchester City are going to buy Aston Villa’s Fabian Delph instead. As circles go, that’s as mysterious as the ones that used to crop up in English fields leading to claims of alien landings. City are also preparing to lure Fulham’s teenage forward Patrick Roberts, who has turned down a new contract at Craven Cottage.

Meanwhile, you can scrap all that talk of Mario Mandzukic joining Manchester United, because word is the Croatian is off to Juventus instead. And because Brendan Rodgers believes one Lucas is never enough, Liverpool are sizing up an offer for Paris Saint-Germain left-back Lucas Digne. The 21-year-old is currently behind Maxwell in the PSG pecking order so wants out to secure regular first-team football and boost his chances of being included in France’s squad for next summer’s Euros on home soil. Valencia and Roma are also sniffing around Digne. So the question, Mr Rodgers, is have you completely given up on Alberto Moreno?

While Liverpool help PSG trim their squad, Real Madrid intend gutting it: the Spanish giants are after midfield hero Marco Verratti. Further bad news for PSG is that it looks like they’re going to miss out on Carlos Tevez, who has decided he wants to head home. Boca Juniors are preparing a reception committee.

Liverpool, meanwhile, are preparing some kind of striker convention, as they want Charlie Austin to follow Danny Ings and Divock Origi to Anfield. Rodgers also wanted Inter midfielder Mateo Kovacic, but offering Mario Balotelli in as part-exchange turned out to be a negotiation tactic right up there with throwing a punch.

In a decision that will be interpreted either as paving the way for the departure of Morgan Schneiderlin, or giving Victor Wanyama a boot up the behind, Southampton are about to wrap up a £6m deal for Lille’s Senegalese midfielder Idrissa Gueye.

Think Tom Huddlestone looked dozy and inadequate during Hull’s relegation last term? Then you’re obviously not Tim Sherwood, who wants to bring the Hudster to Aston Villa, along with, um, the Bradyster, as in Robbie Brady. Barcelona are happy to let Gerard Deulofeu go to Everton for a snip. No, Roberto Martínez is not re-inventing himself as some sort of Dr Nick Riviera-style amateur surgeon, the Mill means that Barcelona are prepared to release the 21-year-old for a relatively small fee because he hasn’t impressed anywhere as much as he did at Goodison Park last year. But don’t worry Aaron Lennon fans, Everton still want to sign your man from Tottenham, too.

Elsewhere, you can look forward to Ryan Babel providing live Twitter commentaries of Swansea matches next season if the Dutchman completes a proposed move to the Liberty Stadium. And a no-nonsense up-and-down winger who’s quick to swing in a cross? That’ll do nicely for Tony Pulis, who wants to bring James McClean from Wigan to West Brom.