WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

The NRL has gone all out this today to make sure this weekend is a success.

Following the slow-moving train derailment that was the offseason of 2018/19, the NRL for some reason decided to schedule an entire round of football at the same ground, with roughly 300 pumped up overpaid men with not enough things to occupy their time descending on Suncorp Stadium.

As a precautionary measure for the round, the NRL has hired an expert musician to cast an invisibility cloak over all of the players currently around the Brown Snake.

Making sure they got it right, the NRL hired a musician so dedicated to the craft that he hasn’t had a girlfriend or meaningful relationship since he finished Year 8 at school.

“He’s the perfect guy for the job,” explained Todd Greenberg the game’s CEO.

“Aldous (the magician’s name) is an incredible musician, and we’ve asked him to grant our players invisibility for the entire weekend.”

“So even if they manage to avoid prying eyes and are fucking stupid enough to film the shit they do, the phone cameras wont be able to pick it up.”

“Obviously there is some risk with 300 invisible NRL players running around unchecked, so we advise everyone to exercise caution.”

Greenberg then explained that he’s also asked the magician to put a spell on the media as well.

“Yeah we’ve asked him to ward the meddling media off as well, so let’s see how we go!”

“Let’s keep the magic times rolling!”