The conspiracy virus has entered our national bloodstream. Wednesday we were treated to the Alex Jonesian ramblings of Senator Ron Johnson, Republican of Wisconsin, who suggested there was a "secret society" in the FBI holding "off-site meetings" to strategize about how to undermine the Donald Trump presidency. Johnson offered little evidence beyond references to an "informant," though we now have a better idea where he got this tasty nugget. More on that later. In the meantime, we must contend with Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida, who went on Chris Cuomo's CNN show Wednesday night to continue pushing what appears to be the official Republican line.

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“If you’re going to make an analogy at least know what you’re talking about.” Oof. This clip. https://t.co/iWXsZAhky7 — Oliver Darcy (@oliverdarcy) January 25, 2018

For reference, Gaetz is the person who once introduced a bill to eliminate the Environmental Protection Agency entirely, and was the only member of Congress to vote against a bill to prevent human trafficking on the basis that it would make government bigger. If you don't think government has a role in preventing human trafficking, what the hell role do you think government has? In the same Facebook Live video where Gaetz explained his vote, he mentioned off-hand that we ought to eliminate the Department of Education.

Gaetz began last night by fixating on the fact the FBI failed to save five months of texts between two FBI agents, which Republicans now see as the clearest evidence that the Justice Department's Russia probe is biased. It turns out the texts were among the thousands lost by the agency in a single technical glitch, The Washington Post reports, but Gaetz insists this is the biggest non-coincidence of all. Gaetz argued it rivals the "immaculate conception," but he doesn't seem to actually know what the immaculate conception is.

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Cuomo's burn on that front will have brought a smile to any watching nun's face. Knowing that the conception actually applies to Mary's birth, not that of Jesus, is essentially the diploma you get when you graduate from Catholic school. This is also, as Cuomo points out, a good barometer of Gaetz's attention to detail and general regard for evidence and fact. After all, the "secret society" narrative that he, Johnson, and other proud American patriots are pushing is already sporting quite a few holes.

"Facts matter, congressman. If you're going to make an analogy, at least know what you're talking about."

According to The Hill, the line comes from a single text sent by two FBI officials, Lisa Page and Peter Strzok, who briefly worked on Robert Mueller's team until it emerged they had exchanged anti-Trump texts. (The two were also seeing each other at the time.) They were then removed from the investigative team. For Republicans, this has for weeks been evidence that the whole investigation is biased. Apparently, they were under the impression that members of law enforcement do not have political opinions. (Mueller and Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, who appointed the special counsel, are lifelong Republicans. Rosenstein, of course, was appointed by Trump. Former FBI Director James Comey was a registered Republican until recently.) But we now know what Page texted Strzok, and that it was the day after the 2016 election:

Are you even going to give out your calendars? Seems kind of depressing. Maybe it should just be the first meeting of the secret society.

As Ryan Reilly pointed out on Twitter, this is almost certainly a joke. If not, maybe Page and Strzok are following the classic Secret Society Playbook of explicitly referring to their secret society as a secret society. Take notes, Skull and Bones.

It is obviously alarming that United States senators and members of Congress are channeling InfoWars on national television in an attempt to undermine the credibility of the FBI and the Justice Department. Leaking one detail out of context—the "secret society" text—and surrounding it with vague un-context is insidious. It is more alarming still that they are doing so in service of a president who clearly feels the vise closing, as we learn more about the Michael Flynn fiasco and more of his associates move towards cooperating with Mueller's probe. But perhaps most alarming, these junior conspiracy theorists are proving that it takes skill—or at least a little panache—to do what Alex Jones does.

Jack Holmes Politics Editor Jack Holmes is the Politics Editor at Esquire, where he writes daily and edits the Politics Blog with Charles P Pierce.

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