There are things that are inherently certain when you become a household name. Glamourous events, free shit, and people trying to take your fucking photo every time you go anywhere outside.

Cole Sprouse – who is genuinely quite a good photographer – has been going tête-à-tête with these fans who insist on slyly taking a photo of him while he’s out and about, masterfully snapping a photo of the fan before they can take one of him. It’s a good old fashion Camera Duel and Sprouse is a fucken master of the arena. The duels are not a super regular occurrence, but it’s absolutely more about quality than quantity here.

Not only does he skillfully take a photo of his in-public, usually unashamed, duelling partner, but he eloquently and mercilessly owns them in the captions. This man’s a true force to be reckoned with, people.

This is a man with senses so heightened that he can pinpoint the exact moment someone recognises him and goes to take a photo (I assume to share online and gloat about their ~brush with fame~). This is a man whose hands are so lightning fast that the quick-draw of his phone will stop a person dead in their tracks, as the embarrassment of being seen and unequivocally busted shames them for generations to come.

And these are some of my favourite camera duels. The ones that make me want to elaborately kiss my fingers like I’m the Swedish Chef.

Yes, have we ever considered “eat my ass” indeed.

Such TECHNIQUE, c’est magnifique.

It has everything, the duel, the decoy friend, the striking grin of a victorious Sprouse as he coolly walks past.

A masterful manoeuvre from this duelling partner, but was majorly let down by his own camera’s flash. For SHAME.

This is so ruthless I think I have whiplash. I HOPE SATAN LIKES THE PHOTO.

Guess who’s not safe from a Cole Sprouse Online Own? His “poor, helpless, innocent, virgin brother” that’s who.

So please, take the afternoon off to be blown backwards off your chair at the sheer strength of this man’s agility and speed as he takes on his own fans, one camera duel at a time.