Listen, dude. If I were interested in giving a dissertation detailing the inspiration behind my tattoos, I'd be at the Why I Got My Tattoo convention right now, not here at the bar catching up with my friend over some Guinness. (FYI: I am not a jerk. I just prefer to bond with strangers by, say, playing K-F-M using other bar patrons, or showing them adorable selfies of my cat. Not talking about my tattoos.)