Overview of the techniques of a female sociopaths

NOTE: the page is labeled by Google as "Dangerous or derogatory content". So they are trying to suppress the discussion of this topic. I wonder why ? May be because they support neoliberal "Identity politics" stance according to which females can't be sociopaths ;-) .

Female sociopaths are a pretty wide and fuzzy category that includes a wide variety of behaviors, but have the same core set of personality traits. On one point of the spectrum are Femme fatale, on the other those who wear a mask of a faceless corporate bureaucrats or right wing authoritarian functionaries without sense of humor. Some are petty vindictive micromanagers who are as far from any overt display of sexual attractiveness as one can get (although that does not exclude some flirt or sex with higher ups in a new meaning of kiss up, kick down authoritarian motto ;-).

Finnish researcher Kaj Bjorkqvist found is that girls are no less aggressive than boys; they're just aggressive in different ways. Instead of fighting on the playground like the boys, they play subtle mind games that may be even more damaging than a black eye. Male bullying is comprised of direct behaviors such as teasing, taunting, threatening. Female bullies attacks are typically more indirect and directed at causing a target to be socially isolated through intentional exclusion. So it is little surprise that female bosses are usually more cunning and inclined towards more sophisticated bullying and prefer such methods as:

Sophisticated, sadistic cruelty toward victims . This the most typical feature. Cruelty in such persons usually can diagnosed from pretty young age. On of the most telling symptom is sadistic cruelty to animals in young age.

. This the most typical feature. Cruelty in such persons usually can diagnosed from pretty young age. On of the most telling symptom is sadistic cruelty to animals in young age. Attempts to isolate victim. That includes The cold shoulder Refusing to communicate and forming cliques to maintain this "excommunication" mode. Sulking

That includes

Indirect aggression, which is widely used by female bullies involves the use of relationships, rather than fists, to hurt another. Rumors, name calling, cliques, shunning, and a variety of other behaviors are the weapons that female bullies use against other females and (less often, males) in schools, universities, sports teams, during recreational activities. The is also an alarming tendency of increasing incidence of physical confrontations between adolescent girls, which is an escalation of relational aggression to "male bullies" level ("alpha female" phenomenon).

Among typical manipulation techniques are:

Minimization: aggressor is attempting to assert that his behavior is not really harmful or irresponsible as someone else may be claiming.

Lying. Often facts to detect false statements are not available when they are presented. One thing to protect you is to know that those personalities will stop at nothing to win and you can expect them to lie and cheat. Lying by omission is a most subtle way to deception -- manipulator simply withhold critical information.

Denial. "Classic "Who...Me ?" tactic invites the victim to feel unjustified in confronting the sociopaths about the inappropriateness.

Selective inattention. Children often close their ears when they do not want to listen to something.

Rationalization. This is an excuse that aggressor is making to justify his reprehensible actions.

Diversion. Changing the subject is classic example of diversion.

Evasion. Deliberate use of vagueness is classic example of evasion. Evasion of responsibility is often connected with "leaving no written trail" giving orders only by phone or via patsies.

Covert intimidation. Find a weak spot and try to push on them

Guilt-tipping. This is a classic trick: to pass the blame for own mistakes, actions or inactions on you.

Shaming: subtle sarcasm and put-downs as a mean of increasing fear and self-doubt. Also can be used to weaken moral principles and as such is widely used in seduction.

Playing victim role. Portraying themselves as victim of circumstances, somebody else behavior in order to gain sympathy, evoke compassion and thereby get something in return. Check everything she said for truthfulness. Learn to differentiate manipulation, especially manipulation using guild or pity -- a typical trick by women sociopath. Remember that you deal with very talented actor/actresses and able the pity play is high on the list of sociopathic techniques. (see, for example, Niagara) It's okay to pity someone who has gone through difficult times, but if you find yourself feeling sorry for someone's sad story, make sure the story is true. If we are talking about females, the pity play should be a warning sign to all of us as this is a very typical tool for female sociopaths. Classic example is manipulation using guild, for example, "or I am so overworked, I am working 10 hours a days, and you do not help me enough".

Vilifying the victim. Sociopath try to pretend that he/she was only responding (i.e. defending himself/herself).

Playing a servant role. By pretending working hard for somebody sense (usually superior) goals, sociopaths conceal their ambitions, hunger for status and power and quest to position to dominate others.

The most powerful technique female bullies (and all sociopaths are bullies) use is the isolation and exclusion, which in high school environment can take grotesque forms:

My "lunch tray moments" consisted of going from table to table, trying to sit down, and kids telling me I wasn't welcome to sit with them, and then eating by myself in the detention room, the only place that would have me. My "gym class moments" consisted of being the girl left over when the last team captain chose the second-to-last girl, and then the other team captain declaring she never picked me and that I was not on her team. I adapted first making friends with the neighborhood dogs who all accepted me with love and dignity, and then by getting involved with out-of-school activities and making lots of friends outside of school. By 10th grade, I had friends at school again.

Studding female sociopath using movies

You can learn some features of female sociopath by studying selected scenes from movies such as

This is a kind of inexpensive, but somewhat useful therapy sessions. You can watch a particular, interesting for you scene multiple times and get better in dealing with similar situations. Usually the first half of the movie is more valuable in this respect then the second. As those are movies, the actors opposite to female sociopath usually do not demonstrate caution, an that's the negative side of such an learning path. Still despite all the shortcoming (and way too many "Right here, right now" type of sex scenes ;-) I would recommend to watch them on PC with two monitors with the screen on the left streaming a movie and taking your notes and putting screenshots on the right screen in MS Word or some other editor. Paper is also good for notes, but you can't edit them afterwards, unless you convert them into some electronic format.

In pages devoted to those movies I tried to list the scenes, that look to me somewhat educational. You can try to match a particular technique, or particular trait depicted in the scene. Of course the value of a particular scene is highly individual. So the scenes that I recommended are not necessary the best for all people. Your mileage may vary.

Typical set of traits

Sets of traits are notoriously unreliable and somewhat unscientific approach but they can serve you well. In any case we do not have anything better. Traits is probably the oldest way to explain differences in human behaviour. But it is important to understand that traits are not inert peace like mechanical parts, they are more like chemical substances, they interact/react with each other and while each of them individually can be found in many "normal" people, certain in combinations they react with each other. for example what we mean by word "extrovert" and "introvert" are actually some constellations of trait. Similarly there is a constellation of traits that produce toxic personality, called sociopath., In this particular case a female sociopath. So a female sociopath in not a mechanical combination of certain traits but a "yet another type of personality", a very toxic indeed. And gender here is one of the traits that goes into this toxic combination. In no way they are "male sociopath with vagina". They are a different chemical substance.

You can view traits as behavioral tendencies (Allport, 1966), more generalized and deeper connected with inner brain structures then habits. Some of then are acquired, but many originates from within, are innate to to speak. Traits initiate and guide behaviour, but environment also play important role. For example a teenager, accustomed for respect of his classmates find himself in a summer camp with older boys, who look down upon him. One day his new friends propose swiping a few candy bars from a corner store. When a gang ridicules him, the honesty (which is a social trait common for most cultures) is destroyed by stronger trait of desire for social status.

Combinations of traits that are typical for psychopathic personality is now well known and well researched. That does not mean that they are easy to detect. Quite opposite. It is very difficult task and in most case the detection happens way too late. Still "knowledge is power" and there are a couple of traits that should be highly alarming and that are somewhat visible even under the think smokescreen of deception. They should ring alert for any person who read this page (although most people reading this page probably got here somewhat late, but better late then never) are:

Sociopathic charm. Dr. Stout believes it is a primary characteristic of woman sociopath. The intense charm of people who have no conscience, has been observed by researchers and commented on by countless victims. In corporate environment it is usually directed mostly up and represents typical "kiss up, kick down" pattern also found is male authoritarians According to the book "Snakes in Suits - When sociopaths Go To Work" by Dr. Robert Hare and Dr. Paul Babiak, one of the most effective skills sociopaths use to get the trust of people is their ability to charm them. Some low IQ sociopaths lay the charm on too thick, coming across as glib, superficial, and unconvincing. However, the truly talented ones have polished their ability to charm people into an art, priding themselves on their ability to present a fictional self to others that is convincing, taken at face value, and difficult to penetrate. One must always keep in mind that the charm, like manipulation in general, can be very subtle. The components of this "psychopathic charm" is difficult to define. Among them: P rovocative (or seductive) behavior; early and repeated attempts to breach the personal distance while not being acquainted for a long time. Often on the first meeting.

rovocative (or seductive) behavior; early and repeated attempts to breach the personal distance while not being acquainted for a long time. Often on the first meeting. R elationships are presented as more intimate than they actually are. "We are friends, aren't we" trick. "We are adult people, aren't we?" trick. "Tell me what you expect of a woman in bed?".

elationships are presented as more intimate than they actually are. "We are friends, aren't we" trick. "We are adult people, aren't we?" trick. "Tell me what you expect of a woman in bed?". A ttention-seeking behaviour, especially efficient when it comes along with physical beauty. Physical beauty is the trait that makes female sociopath so dangerous, as it disarm people. Direct and confident body language signals their interest in you.

ttention-seeking behaviour, especially efficient when it comes along with physical beauty. Physical beauty is the trait that makes female sociopath so dangerous, as it disarm people. Direct and confident body language signals their interest in you. I nfluence others and adapts to them seamlessly. They listen attentively, ask simple "ice-breaking" questions. Smile, nod, and occasionally offer commentary like "Uh-huh" or "Yeah." Ask follow up questions as well. Ask for clarification or further details on stories and personal information.

nfluence others and adapts to them seamlessly. They listen attentively, ask simple "ice-breaking" questions. Smile, nod, and occasionally offer commentary like "Uh-huh" or "Yeah." Ask follow up questions as well. Ask for clarification or further details on stories and personal information. S peech style is somewhat exaggerated, emotionally elevated with the goal to impress; lacks details, especially in their biography.

peech style is somewhat exaggerated, emotionally elevated with the goal to impress; lacks details, especially in their biography. E motional lability; shallowness. Light flirt.

motional lability; shallowness. Light flirt. M ake-up, hair style, clothing, perfume, the whole physical appearance are well though out, elegant and are used to draw attention to self. They are always dressed up, sexy and radiate confidence. Such people are judged as better looking than average on first sight because they put more effort into their appearance, and the difference in attractiveness disappears when "dressed down" with bland clothing and without make up

ake-up, hair style, clothing, perfume, the whole physical appearance are well though out, elegant and are used to draw attention to self. They are always dressed up, sexy and radiate confidence. Such people are judged as better looking than average on first sight because they put more effort into their appearance, and the difference in attractiveness disappears when "dressed down" with bland clothing and without make up Exaggerated emotions; theatrical behaviors. They have a sense of humor and often make other person laugh. Many people are attracted to people with a healthy sense of humor. A fast life strategy which includes an accelerated mating strategy, reporting more sex partners, more favorable attitudes towards casual sex, lowered standards in their short-term mates, a tendency to steal or poach mates from others. They are willing to engage is risk-taking behaviors including unsafe sex and substance abuse, a tendency to prefer immediate rewards, limited self-control, and a pragmatic and game-playing love style. The appears to be exploitative and highly opportunistic, in to life in general[, including mating and workplace behaviour.

Compulsive, pathological lying. Difficult to spot if you feel sympathy or affection to the individual, but it always demonstrates itself in some self-contradiction especially about the facts of personal history; invented past and/or excessive boasting about past successes. If you attentive this is trait that is one of the easiest to spot despite all the smoke screen that such person erect before you. In more rare cases they are pathological, compulsive liars and lie even when there is no obvious need to it... such a behaviour is somewhat "creating artificial reality". It represents itself as a consistent trait rather than an episode, like for most "normal" people.

Manipulative, arrogant, callous behaviour is a norm, but is typically well masked. Complete lack of remorse and empathy are also masked and are difficult to spot untill it is too late. They are probably more manipulative and cunning then professional con artists. Actually they are professional con artists. Their personality attributes typically include superficial charm, unreliability, untruthfulness, and insincerity. Pathological egocentricity, selfishness, and related to those traits rejection of authority and discipline. Along with deriving pleasure from criminal behavior, they “really like getting away with it”—that “the ones who have intelligence, they don’t want to get caught.” Several researchers have suggested that sadism, defined as the enjoyment of cruelty, is pretty common feature of such individuals..

Unreliability, untruthfulness, and insincerity. Please understand that betrayal and backstabbing are natural, typical behaviors for them, and they resort to it in situation were normal person would never do such thing. For example petty stealing when having money to buy particular item. As they have complete lack of remorse and empathy they can do really bad things smiling... If you observe such episodes several times this is an important warning signal. As Ian Fleming said (via James Bond in Goldfinger) “Once is happenstance. Twice is coincidence. Three times is enemy action” Kind of manipulation of reality that MSM are notorious for. To the pathological liar his own lies are reality, so he walks securely, is open and amiable inside this artificial reality of his life and past. Extensive, very complicated fabrications may be evolved. They have no troubles to lie then they appeared in court, False accusations are to be expected... Often the pathological liar lies not according to a plan, but spontaneously when the impulse seizes him/her. Under oath such a person can falsely accused other party of serious offences. For example, using drugs or a women can accuse her husband that he has sex with their underage daughter.

Prone to fly into rages See Borderline Rage: unlike borderlines who often have difficulties controlling it, bouts of anger are consciously controlled and used as a very sharp weapon. Many of these women ‘appear’ normal in the public setting, but are verbally and emotionally abusive in the private setting.

Inability to accept any responsibility for their actions. Typically they has little or no concern about the consequences of their actions. They are natural born risk takers, "life gamblers" if you wish. For them life is giant casino.

"Courage under fire." In high tension situations, that happens when police is on the scene or during court proceeding, they typically maintain their cool, behave rationally and are not prone to panic even in the face of dangerous to them revelations.

The key element of sociopathy is the absence of conscience. The term itself is a shortcut for "people without conscience." In this sense they are radically different from other people, real aliens: other people are just tools for them, not human beings. And it does not matter that in the case of female sociopaths such an alien appears in an attractive female body. Such people are so power hungry, so dominance oriented that they stand far apart from other people. Again they can and probably should be considered aliens. Sociopaths only care about fulfilling their own immediate needs and desires. As a rule, they demonstrate selfishness and egocentricity to the extreme. To this extent they are more animals than humans. Ruthless, slick. often psychically beautiful predators (BTW is not tigers beautiful unless you are put in the same cage) that skillfully entrap the victim and devour him/her.

Everything and everybody is considered by a sociopath to be object to be used in achieving their goals, fulfilling their own needs and desires. And those features are especially run contrary to expectation of "normal people" in female sociopaths as women are assumed to be caring. Tim Field believes the stereotypical view of men as aggressive and women as nurturing often very effectively protects female sociopaths from being seen for what she is: "A sociopath in a skirt."

Dr. Martha Stout, in her book 'The Sociopath Next Door', discusses the techniques of the sociopath -- what she refers to as 'the tools of the trade'. Among the most typical we can mention the following:

Charming the victim . Dr. Stout believes it is a primary characteristic of woman sociopath. The intense charm of people who have no conscience, has been observed by researchers and commented on by countless victims. In corporate environment it is usually directed mostly up and represents typical "kiss up, kick down" pattern also found is male authoritarians According to the book " Snakes in Suits - When sociopaths Go To Work " by Dr. Robert Hare and Dr. Paul Babiak, one of the most effective skills sociopaths use to get the trust of people is their ability to charm them. Some sociopaths lay the charm on too thick, coming across as glib, superficial, and unconvincing. However, the truly talented ones have polished their ability to charm people into an art, priding themselves on their ability to present a fictional self to others that is convincing, taken at face value, and difficult to penetrate. One must always keep in mind that the charm, like manipulation in general, can be very subtle. The components of this "psychopathic charm" is difficult to define. But you can easily see it in movies that depict such individuals. Women who have a closely related set of traits, but without personal fearlessness, courage and ability to handle stress typical for sociopaths are grouped under the label Histrionic personality disorder. The researchers of this disorder proposed a useful mnemonic that makes it easier remember the behavioral characteristics that are somewhat typical for sociopathic charm. Of couse this is simplification, but still is a useful symplification. This mnemonic phrase is "PRAISE ME": P rovocative (or seductive) behavior; early and repeated attempts to breach the personal distance while not being acquainted for a long time. Often on the first meeting. R elationships are presented as more intimate than they actually are. "We are friends, aren't we" trick. "We are adult people, aren't we?" trick. "Tell me what you expect of a woman in bed?". A ttention-seeking behaviour, especially efficient when it comes along with physical beauty. Physical beauty is the trait that makes female sociopath so dangerous, as it disarm people. Direct and confident body language signals their interest in you. I nfluence others and adapts to them seamlessly. They listen attentively, ask simple "ice-breaking" questions. Smile, nod, and occasionally offer commentary like "Uh-huh" or "Yeah." Ask follow up questions as well. Ask for clarification or further details on stories and personal information. S peech style is somewhat exaggerated, emotionally elevated with the goal to impress; lacks details, especially in their biography. E motional lability; shallowness. Light flirt. M ake-up, hair style, clothing, perfume, the whole physical appearance are well though out, elegant and are used to draw attention to self. they are always dressed up, sexy and radiate confidence. E xaggerated emotions; theatrical behaviors. They have a sense of humor and often make other person laugh. Many people are attracted to people with a healthy sense of humor.



. Dr. Stout believes it is a primary characteristic of woman sociopath. The intense charm of people who have no conscience, has been observed by researchers and commented on by countless victims. In corporate environment it is usually directed mostly up and represents typical "kiss up, kick down" pattern also found is male According to the book " " by Dr. Robert Hare and Dr. Paul Babiak, Some sociopaths lay the charm on too thick, coming across as glib, superficial, and unconvincing. However, the truly talented ones have polished their ability to charm people into an art, priding themselves on their ability to present a fictional self to others that is convincing, taken at face value, and difficult to penetrate. One must always keep in mind that the charm, like manipulation in general, can be very subtle. Seduction as a systematic technique. They can and often use sex as a weapon. In this sense they are very similar to male sexual predators. According to Dr. Stout sociopath as "people without conscience" have an uncanny sense of who is vulnerable to a sexual overture. Sex for them is a tool, and they use it to achieve their goals without any hesitation. But seduction is not limited to sexual relationships; sociopaths can seduce others with promises of promotion, money, control and power, not only sex.



According to Dr. Stout sociopath as "people without conscience" But seduction is not limited to sexual relationships; sociopaths can seduce others with promises of promotion, money, control and power, not only sex. "Black and white" thinking , instability in relationships, and impulsivity.



, instability in relationships, and impulsivity. Gaslighting Gaslighting is a common practice of abusers who attempt to convince their victims they are defective for any reason such as making the victim more emotional, more needy or dependent. For example, if an abusive person says hurtful things to you to cause your distress and then tries to convince you that you are mentally unstable and starts recommending that you get professional help, you might be in the presence of a gaslighter.



Gaslighting is a common practice of abusers who attempt to convince their victims they are defective for any reason such as making the victim more emotional, more needy or dependent. Projection Sociopaths refuse to be held accountable for their behavior and often assign their own behavior to their victims. For example, a sociopath could accuse a victim of stealing when it is the sociopath himself that steals



Sociopaths refuse to be held accountable for their behavior and often assign their own behavior to their victims. For example, a sociopath could accuse a victim of stealing when it is the sociopath himself that steals Love bombing. The most basic human need is the need for self-esteem. Basically love bombing is nothing more that giving someone a lot of positive attention. Pandering to their every wish. This is the technique that has its origin in cults methods of attracting members. The expression has also been used to describe the tactics used by pimps to control their victims, as well as the behavior of an abusive narcissists who tries to win the confidence of a victim. According to Wikipedia: Love bombing is an attempt to influence a person by lavish demonstrations of attention and affection. The phrase can be used in different ways. Members of the Unification Church of the United States (who reportedly coined the expression) use or have used it to convey a genuine expression of friendship, fellowship, interest, or concern.[1] Critics of cults use the phrase with the implication that the "love" is feigned and that the practice is psychological manipulation in order to create a feeling of unity within the group against a society perceived as hostile.[2] In 2011 clinical psychologist Oliver James advocated a form of love bombing in his book Love Bombing: Reset Your Child's Emotional Thermostat , as a means for parents to rectify emotional problems in their children.[3] The expression "love bombing" was coined by members of the Unification Church of the United States in the 1970s.[4] In 1978 Sun Myung Moon, the founder and then leader of the Unification Church, said: Unification Church members are smiling all of the time, even at four in the morning. The man who is full of love must live that way. When you go out witnessing you can caress the wall and say that it can expect you to witness well and be smiling when you return. What face could better represent love than a smiling face? This is why we talk about love bomb; Moonies have that kind of happy problem. Psychology professor Margaret Singer popularized the concept.[1] In her 1996 book, Cults in Our Midst, she writes: As soon as any interest is shown by the recruits, they may be love bombed by the recruiter or other cult members. This process of feigning friendship and interest in the recruit was originally associated with one of the early youth cults, but soon it was taken up by a number of groups as part of their program for luring people in. Love bombing is a coordinated effort, usually under the direction of leadership, that involves long-term members' flooding recruits and newer members with flattery, verbal seduction, affectionate but usually nonsexual touching, and lots of attention to their every remark. Love bombing - or the offer of instant companionship - is a deceptive ploy accounting for many successful recruitment drives.

The most basic human need is the need for self-esteem. Basically love bombing is nothing more that giving someone a lot of positive attention. Pandering to their every wish. This is the technique that has its origin in cults methods of attracting members. The expression has also been used to describe the tactics used by pimps to control their victims, as well as the behavior of an abusive narcissists who tries to win the confidence of a victim. According to Wikipedia: The pity play . It's okay to pity someone who has gone through difficult times, but if you find yourself feeling sorry for someone's sad story, make sure the story is true. The pity play should be a warning sign to all of us as this is a very typical tool for female sociopaths.



. It's okay to pity someone who has gone through difficult times, but if you find yourself feeling sorry for someone's sad story, make sure the story is true. The pity play should be a warning sign to all of us as this is a very typical tool for female sociopaths. The entrapment of the victim. Often the entrapment of the victim goes in several, overlapping phases: Assessment. During the assessment phase, the sociopath is able to determine a potential victim's weak points( see Chapter 4 of the book "Snakes in Suits", Dr. Hare and Dr. Babiak), especially the moral values, insecurities and weaknesses. Being as astute observers of human behavior, the sociopath will then subtly test the the victim inner strengths in order to find a better way to exploit or intimidate you into submission. According to the book the four messages that the sociopath often try to project on the assessment phase are I like who you are; I am just like you; Your secrets are safe with me; Manipulation. Once the sociopath has identified weaknesses of the victim, the manipulation phase begins. During the manipulation phase, a sociopath may create a persona or mask, specifically designed to 'work' for his or her target . A sociopath will lie to gain the trust of their victim. A sociopath's lack of empathy and guilt allows them to lie with ease - "they don't see the value of telling the truth unless it will help get them what they want" . They are usually compulsive liars, actors who all their life are wearing some kind of fake personality. Seduction. They use the same techniques as male sexual predators trying to condition the victim by shaking their moral norms and convictions, getting them drunk, or putting them in situation with few or no path to escape.



Often the entrapment of the victim goes in several, overlapping phases: Idealize-seduce-devalue-discard cycle of relations



Blaming the victim. They never accept responsibility for anything bad that happened. It is always somebody else fault.



They never accept responsibility for anything bad that happened. It is always somebody else fault. Using rage as a sharp weapon (See Borderline Rage ; it is not spontaneous -- while it is a "natural emotion" it is consciously controlled and used as a sharp weapon"



(See Borderline Rage ; it is not spontaneous -- while it is a "natural emotion" it is consciously controlled and used as a sharp weapon" Viewing relations as the war of conquest. Attempts to enslave the partner. "Who whom?" mentality. Use of anger bouts and psychical violence to get what they want.



Attempts to enslave the partner. "Who whom?" mentality. Use of anger bouts and psychical violence to get what they want. Constant lying and perfect m imicry to the expectation of the victim. It is important to understand that f or a sociopath the stable personality does not really exist. They are natural actors who play different characters all their life. Everything including current personality is fake and built on the net of lies, carefully woven together to entrap you. Each personality they present is actually a role they play, a mask, one of many, custom-made by the sociopath to fit your particular psychological needs and expectations. It does not reflect the true personality -- the mean and brutal sociopathic personality -- that lies beneath. A female sociopath lie and wear especially constructed mask (fake persona) to gain the trust of their victim. They are usually compulsive liars, perfect cheters, actors who all their life are wearing some kind of fake personality. Dealing with a compulsive or pathological liar is very difficult thing to do. A compulsive liar will resort to telling lies, regardless of the situation. Again, everyone lies from time to time (see when lovers lie), but for a compulsive liar, telling lies is routine. It becomes a habit—a way of life. Simply put, for a compulsive liar, lying becomes second nature. (Compulsive Lying - Truth About Deception) See also: compulsive lying quiz how to confront a partner who lies forum for dealing with a compulsive liar lying and deception – articles, links and resources



Everything including current personality is fake and built on the net of lies, carefully woven together to entrap you. Each personality they present is actually a role they play, a mask, one of many, custom-made by the sociopath to fit your particular psychological needs and expectations. It does not reflect the true personality -- the mean and brutal sociopathic personality -- that lies beneath. They are usually compulsive liars, perfect cheters, actors who all their life are wearing some kind of fake personality. Dealing with a compulsive or pathological liar is very difficult thing to do. A compulsive liar will resort to telling lies, regardless of the situation. Again, everyone lies from time to time (see when lovers lie), but for a compulsive liar, telling lies is routine. It becomes a habit—a way of life. Simply put, for a compulsive liar, lying becomes second nature. (Compulsive Lying - Truth About Deception) See also: Courage under fire and using their gender as a bulletproof vest. In high tension situations, that happens when police is on the scene or during court proceeding, they typically maintain their cool, behave rationally and are not prone to panic even in the face of dangerous to them revelations. Understanding that the society has a more lenient attitude to women's transgressions (may be except infidelity), they use their gender as a bulletproof vest in dealing with courts, police and like. If they are attractive and charming those two traits are used to full extent possible in such situations.

When you find yourself in such a situation the first thing is not only to try to learn basics things about this situation, so that you can avoid typical pitfalls, but also start documenting each day in special logbook. It provides you a feedback and ability to return to previous situation and understand what they really meant and might help to avoid some traps. In a very real sense documenting your like each day in the evening before going to speed or first thing in the morning must become your habit, Here knowledge is real power and knowledge in thse days impossible without memory "crutches" which log provides. It is your additional memory bank, albeit a very primitive one.

One important advice is to view your situation is a special brand of warfare as tricks you might face are typically used during the war.

The behaviors that a female sociopath demonstrates often include as a subset the behaviors of borderline personality. And borderline personal disorder is more frequent among female (approximately three times more frequent in females). That means that rich material about borderlines might help to understand female psychopaths better. The differential diagnosis is difficult but usually sociopath are not included to cause self-harm. In all other major areas those two are very close. The features of BPD include emotional instability, "black-and-white" thinking intense unstable interpersonal relationships, a need for relatedness, a fear of rejection and impulsivity. Historically the term meant "borderline insanity".

There is no surprise that typically people with BPD often evoke intense negative emotions in those around them. For other people BPD are "impulsive", “attention seeking", “difficult,” “demanding” and, worse of all “manipulative” Borderline personality disorder and mood disorders often appear concurrently. Some features of borderline personality disorder may overlap with those of mood disorders. Both diagnoses involve symptoms commonly known as "mood swings". An unusual degree of instability in mood in borderliners and especially bouts of rage (See Understanding Borderline Rage) are typical. Inappropriate anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights) is an important diagnostic criteria for BPD.

As a rule those traits leads to chaotic and unstable interpersonal relationships. Increased levels of conflict in romantic relationships is typical as well as rapidly decreased satisfaction of romantic partners, leading to affairs on the side and other form of partner abuse. The majority (around 96%) of hospitalized borderlines have an eating disorders (including anorexia nervosa and bulimia). Substance abuse is also a common problem in BPD. This might well be due to impulsivity or as a coping mechanism, and 50-70% percent of psychiatric inpatients with BPD meet criteria for a substance abuse disorder. Alcohol dependence is the most typical, but is often combined with the abuse of other drugs.

Manipulation and deceit are viewed as common features of BPD by many of those who treat the disorder as well as by the DSM-IV. Borderlines typically are ruthless, conniving, mean, heartless, two-faced, and worse.

Manipulation and deceit are viewed as common features of BPD by many of those who treat the disorder as well as by the DSM-IV. Borderlines typically are ruthless, conniving, mean, heartless, two-faced, and worse.

The prevalence of BPD in the general population is 1-2%. Borderline personality disorder is diagnosed in three times as many females as males. It's like a feminine version of sociopathy, and is nearly as dangerous. While it is diagnosed only in individuals over the age of 18, symptoms necessary to establish the disorder often demonstrate itself in adolescents.

See also Hillary as a pathological liar

Manipulative, demanding, and attention seeking; at the same time impulsive and reckless

Due of "BPD troika" of traits: “manipulative” + “demanding” + “attention seeking" this group is seen as among the most challenging groups of psychiatric patients, requiring a high degree of skill and training for both the psychiatrists, and nurses involved.

Recklessness in general is very typical trait of BPD that makes them very similar to sociopaths. Like sociopaths they are impulsive and easily engage in self-destructive behaviors including alcohol or drug abuse, promiscuous (and intense) sexuality. Many are attracted to gambling.

Impulsivity, Recklessness along with "courage under fire" are very typical traits

Oscillations between idealizing and demonizing others (intense love changes to intense hate with no "grey area") is another typical symptom (kind of bipolar relationships). This, combined with mood swings, undermines relationships with family, friends, and co-workers.

Another telling symptom is attempts to cause harm to oneself. Suicidal or self-harming behavior is one of the core diagnostic criteria that help to provide a differential diagnose as most listed traits are common for other types of disorders too and first of all to female psychopaths. But psychopaths tend not to harm themselves and have a low suicide rate. They are kind of human Terminators. BPD patients have high suicide rate (approximately 8-10%). Self-injury attempts are highly common and may or may not be carried out with suicidal intent. Ongoing family difficulties can lead to self-destructive behavior.

To understand techniques used by female sociopath you need to keep in mind that they can use any known technique of entrapment of the victim. And this capability is amplified by their typical traits which make them perfect in the role of seducers and entrapment artists. If you think that they would never attempt film your intercourse with them and use it later to blackmail you, think again. Among traits that are often present as a constellation and that you need to be aware of are:

To understand what those short description really mean is not easy. Words does not communicate the whole picture here. That means that need to watch several movies such as "Dangerous liaisons" which spells out well the process of psychopathic seduction.

As narcissists are often sex addicts, narcissist managers represent direct danger to female subordinates, such as secretaries due to their propensity to seduce. To seduce just to prove that they can. The other person is just a tool designed to increase their self-word, another "conquest". Paradoxically this is also true for females, which also are often sex addicts in their own right and like to "collect trophies". While people typically view seduction narrowly as purely sexual in nature, but actually the concept is wider then that. Wikipedia gives the following definition:

Seduction is the process of deliberately enticing a person, to lead astray, as from duty, rectitude, or the like; to corrupt, to persuade or induce to engage in sexual behaviour. The word seduction stems from Latin and means literally "to lead astray". As a result, the term may have a positive or negative connotation. Famous seducers from history or legend include Lilith, Giacomo Casanova and the fictional character Don Juan. Seduction as a phenomenon is not the subject of scientific interest, although similar, more specific terms like short-term mating, casual sex or mating strategies are used in evolutionary psychology.[1] The Internet enabled the existence of a seduction community which is based on pseudoscientific discourse on seduction. Seduction, seen negatively, involves temptation and enticement, often sexual in nature, to lead someone astray into a behavioral choice they would not have made if they were not in a state of sexual arousal. Seen positively, seduction is a synonym for the act of charming someone — male or female — by an appeal to the senses, often with the goal of reducing unfounded fears and leading to their "sexual emancipation" Some sides in contemporary academic debate state that the morality of seduction depends on the long-term impacts on the individuals concerned, rather than the act itself, and may not necessarily carry the negative connotations expressed in dictionary definitions.[2]

Which most commonly is discussed in the context of Narcissism, but has much wider applicability

See Classic cycle of sociopathic relations (idealize-seduce-devalue-discard).

At the end of relationship considerable effort are put to made it very clear that everything was the victims fault. See Blaming the victim

Blaming the victim is the essence of devaluation. Female sociopath lie so easily that after they methodically and systematically destroy the relationship, they can present her former partner to the outsiders as a worthless, horrible human. Also after they are in relationship for some time, t hey are never satisfied and are always looking for a new better target. Always. And having no moral principles (in other words being naturally promiscuous) they behave opportunistically, if they have a chance to get a new "fresh" partner, who looks to them more promising then the old one, of only because of the excitement of a chase. Feeling Like Spilling Your Guts to the Narcissist?

Remember: Pointing fingers at narcissists is difficult for Non-Ns. We want to be fair. We want to be honest. For every finger pointed at the N, we have three pointed back towards ourselves. So in order to feel good about ourselves, we can admit to having flaws, shadows and defects, too. But we CANNOT, SHOULD NOT, DO NOT need to admit this to the narcissist. It’s not good for YOU and it’s definitely NOT good for the narcissist. When narcissists feel threatened, they cannot stop themselves from using whatever ammunition they have to defend themselves. Some narcissists regret their behavior afterwards but not nearly as much as we regret having trusted them.

See Films depicting female sociopaths

You should remember famous saying that "War is a continuation of policy by other means". that suggest the value of your own "war plan" as measure that help to counteract their plans. Of course plans are ruined at first contract with reality, but that does not diminish their importance. Read one or several books ob the subject. Go to the library and study the topic like military study their craft. It can save your life. That fact that you have found this page is good, but you need more efforts. Much more efforts.

That also might help you to avoid some common presumptions, mistakes and pitfalls typical for "normal" people, when they are face such a situation. Especially it this is your first encounter the judicial (it's judicial, not justice as as you soon find out it's not about justice ;-) system.

Knowledge here is a real power and helps to avoid a nasty surprise of the mean, dirty tricks used against you. Expect a character assassination. Like in real warfare, be ready that opponent will use dirty tricks against you to win in court. Prepare for false accusations. Beware of traps. Try to minimize communication and practice Negative Politeness.

First of all, like in real war, there is a "fog of war" over the whole situation (i.e., you are facing incomplete, dubious, and often completely erroneous information and high levels of fear, doubt, and excitement). Here keeping daily log might be of tremendous help as it might slightly help to see though the fog. Still the level of uncertainty is high, which complicate rational assessment of the situation so delays with the reaction and keep your cards close to your chest. This simple tactic might in many cases be not detrimental, but advantageous.

Actually studying war tactics which were discussed for example in famous Clausewitz On War (available free from clausewitz.com) and The Art of War is not a bad idea. Among them (cited from Wikipedia):

the asymmetrical relationship between attack and defense

the nature of "military genius" (involving matters of personality and character, beyond intellect)

(involving matters of personality and character, beyond intellect) the importance of "moral forces" (more than simply "morale") as opposed to quantifiable physical elements

(more than simply "morale") as opposed to quantifiable physical elements the essential unpredictability of war

the "fog" of war

"friction" - the disparity between the ideal performance of units, organization or systems and their actual performance in real world scenarios (Book I, Chapter VII)

For a sociopath the stable personality does not really exist. Everything including current personality is built on lies, and carefully woven together to entrap you. As our focus is on corporate environment, it is important to know that micromanagers are most often females and that the majority of their victims are also females. In Lovefraud Blog post When women are sociopaths-psychopaths the author aptly noted:

There is actually very little research data available regarding sociopathy in non-criminals and in women. The little research that has been done reveals that sociopathy in women entails two or three main features that are similar to those found in men. Namely, female sociopaths lack empathy and enjoy manipulating and exploiting others . Violent and impulsive behavior is less common in sociopathic women. This fact may make them more dangerous, as they more easily blend in with the rest of society. The key traits of sociopathic females A recent study of adolescent girls in detention performed by Crystal L. Schrum, M.A. and Randall T. Salekin, Ph.D. of the University of Alabama and reported in Behavioral Sciences and the Law, revealed the core qualities that best described young female sociopaths. The teens were callous and lacked empathy, had a grandiose sense of self worth and were conning and manipulative. They were also likely to engage in impersonal sexual relationships. Importantly, the researchers revealed that female sociopaths did not necessarily have “shallow emotions.” Again the lack of impulsivity ... make a female sociopath more difficult to spot. ... ... ... The case of Michelle Drake also illustrates something else about female sociopaths. The courts are more likely to go easy on them. This attitude of the courts may reflect the fact that many people excuse the behavior of female sociopaths and feel sorry for them. Look at the cases of women in the news lately. We don’t know if the women involved are sociopaths, however, these cases do illustrate the double standard that exists in how we judge female as opposed to male antisocial behavior. Several women teachers have been found guilty of sexually exploiting students. They were treated very leniently for the same crimes that would have put a man in jail for many years.

So personality they present to you is just a convenient fabrication created for particular purpose by their talented inner cinematographic director. That means that for a victim the relationship is not based on informed choice. The sociopath chooses you, exploits you and moves in. Outsiders, without the benefit of knowing the details, may see sometimes discrepancies between the mask and behavior, but we tend to discount these observations, and may even spend energy convincing our friends that this is accidental deviations of generally good person. Third, because everything is faked it usually does not last long.

Relationship between psychopathic boss and his/her subordinates in corporate environment often involve victimization. It often goes far beyond trying to take advantage of someone by deception and includes projection and gaslighting. The victimization is predatory in nature; it often leads to severe financial, physical or emotional harm for the individual. Only recently has society begun to deal with female bullying, perhaps more insidious because it rarely involves fists. Rather pointed barbs, cruel remarks and isolation of the victim are used, frequently leaving much more lasting damage.

Female psychopath approach to personal relations much like to war of conquest. It is all about domination and power. There is no emotional attachment to anybody. Everybody is just a tool. We become slaves the moment we hand the keys to the definition of reality entirely over to someone else. And what female psychopath wants most is the power to define your reality. Often this is done via exploiting sexual attractiveness.

Some movies, especially Bad girl category of movies (Wikipedia) provide additional insights into techniques used and ways of exploiting sexual attractiveness (which for them is just a weapon like stiletto):

I would add such classics as Dangerous Liaisons and Vanity Fair (with Becky Sharp character) to the list. At the same time not all female psychopaths use sexual attractiveness and in office environment some are even routinely attack their female subordinates, who possess those traits.

See also Films depicting female sociopaths

Films look to me no less education then books and web pages. They depict female bullies in action and allow you to watch from the safe distance some pretty realistic depiction of thier tricks and attack tactics:

Classic books:

The Last but not Least Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand ~Archibald Putt. Ph.D

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Last modified: May 28, 2020