Men don't have time for scissors and tape and bows or string and all of that hoo-ha. We barely have time to get gifts. If it weren't for well-stocked convenience stores and bootleg dvds littering our favorite street corners, our loved ones would never get a crummy gift.

Big surprise, but nowhere we ever go has free gift wrapping like at those perfumey Nordstroms and crud, so once a year we have to dig through our closets and dust off long forgotten gift wrap. I am here to show you how to wrap your gifts while keeping your dignity.

The first picture we see here shows the only tape thats acceptable in a bachelor's quarters — duct tape. When someone gets a gift from a man wrapped in duct tape they know they're getting something that isn't going to be easily unwrapped by some nosy kid.

Everyone else in the world chooses invisible tape, and if we were wimpy invisible tape we'd be too ashamed to want to be noticed too. Duct tape is proud. It's visible. It has no shame. Nor should it have shame.