The Turning Point

It helps if I start from the very beginning. All of the details of this paint a very interesting picture which is absolutely worthy of paying attention to.

When an opportunity presented itself to attend 3-night ayahuasca ceremony in 2015, I jumped on it.

The first time I spoke with the woman who explained the ceremony to me over the phone, she told me that I would look back on her conversation and realize that ‘la medicina’ had been working from the time that I decided to partake on this journey.

She said to pay attention to what was happening as the ceremony, which was about 1 month later, approached.

‘Pay attention,’ she said. So I did.

And the following day, the love of my life appeared. She had just been rescued by a girl who found her under a porch. I had never been offered a dog this directly. Lilly is perfect and was absolutely the perfect change for me at that exact moment in my life.

Love finds a way. Lilly was its GPS.

Fast forward to the ceremony.

When I arrived, I was agitated – ready for something… anything… to happen. I couldn’t go on with life the way I was living it at that time, although Lilly did help significantly.

I was on drugs. I couldn’t focus to save my life. There were problems in every area of my life. It was fucked.

The guide introduced himself to me and basically gave me the rundown.

He said that when I drank la medicina, it would present gates. He explained that the gates might be images, memories, or any number of things and that they might be terrifying/hilarious/sad/extreme, but no matter what – my only job was to surrender completely to whatever it was that was happening.

I knew I was in for a trip at that point. I didn’t have any idea what the hell he was talking about but it sounded like some serious shit.

He explained that, if I successfully surrendered throughout the weekend, that I would find love at the end of it. He also told me that there was no right or wrong way to go about it, and that if I couldn’t surrender, then to just surrender to that. To let it be what it is, and love would find a way.

Night 1

I was ready.

A couple hours before the ceremony I found my bed at this very nice, private cabin on 80 acres with a pond, in southern Kansas.

I decided to take a nap.

In this nap, I had a dream in which I was driving the wrong direction on a highway in OKC. Then I pulled off of the highway and found myself in the middle of a racetrack with thousands of people watching as I was pulled over for driving like a dick. It was super stressful.

And right then, somebody woke me up just in time for the ceremony.

Naturally, I questioned if this was the right thing to be doing, but it was too late for all of that.

And then… I slept through the first night. And woke up about 6 hours after everybody, the next day.

‘Maybe this stuff just doesn’t work for me,’ I thought. I was very disappointed and was losing hope.

The guide explained that la medicina was doing its thing, not to worry and that there was a reason I came for 3 nights. So I slept for the rest of the day.

Night 2

This time I was ready. About an hour after drinking the first cup, I went to sit out on the dock by myself. It was a beautiful night and the water was pretty choppy.

The crickets were loud and they literally drowned out the sound of almost everything else. Back to that in a second.

I took a seat on the bench and was listening to the various animals running around.

Suddenly, a flood of very specific memories started to flood my attention.

First, a fight I had with my mom when I was 12. She called the police on me and I ran away with no way to get in contact with me. I didn’t want anybody to find me.

Next, a memory of being at the lake with my ex-girlfriend and some other friends when I was 18. I was drunk and got upset with my girlfriend. I ran into the woods with no way to get ahold of me. My friends nearly left me but they just happened to turn down a road and see me just before they left. I didn’t want to be found.

Then I remembered the first time I did free writing. I wrote for 3 hours and tons of content about how I was about to move to a foreign country by helping a random person on their sailboat spewed out of my brain.

It was showing me a recurring thought pattern that had been haunting me for the majority of my entire life. I wanted to run away and didn’t want to be found.

Sitting by myself on the dock, I asked ‘Why?’ out loud.

An immediate answer followed. The voice was my thoughts.

It said that part of me was trying to do what my father had done when I was 4 years old, but in reality, I was misinterpreting the situation. He didn’t ‘run away.’ He went and did some other shit that just happened to not involve me. But a major, subconscious part of me was trying to run to be like him. It had never crossed my mind consciously.

I immediately started balling. For the first time in forever. But that was short-lived, interrupted by hysterical laughing.

I definitely looked like a crazy person.

I thought it was pretty hilarious that some plant-based brew from the jungle had just helped me identify and move on from a problem that was the foundation of literally everything wrong with my life. It makes me laugh writing this actually. It is honestly pretty damn funny.

After that, it was time to go back inside. I began paying close attention to the crickets again. The sounds they were all making continued to change and transition in a strange kind of sync with each other, and I could feel the change as if I was some kind of tuning fork, with the vibration of my physical body in alignment with the constantly changing ocean of crickets.

When I got back to the house, people were puking violently inside. I sat down on my mat, and once the splashing sound of puke hurling from the mouths of these ceremony participants let up for a few seconds, a thought crossed my mind.

It said, ‘What if the crickets stopped chirping?’

At that exact moment, the entire ocean of crickets simultaneously went silent. I’m not talking about seconds, either. I’m talking about that exact moment.

I thought maybe my mind was playing tricks on me, so I whispered to the lady next to me. “Do you still hear crickets?”

She listened for a few seconds then said, ‘Nope.’

Once again, hysterical laughter. I felt connected to nature in a way that I had never experienced prior.

And I layed down. I must have been asleep somewhere between 1 second and 5 minutes.

And when I woke up, something I can only describe as a 5-dimensional futuristic robot serpent was hovering off of the ground a few feet in front of my face. I could only see it with my eyes wide open – not when they were closed.

It had thousands of things sticking off of it and the various parts of it were spinning in this extremely complex way that had me completely mesmerized. I was so amazed by it that I studied every single detail of it, trying to take the best memory of it as possible, but there is absolutely no way I could begin to re-create this thing, much less even imagine it in the first place.

In fact, it was so detailed and complex and so far out of the realm of what I would have been able to create in my mind, that I was completely convinced that this thing existed outside of my body, in some way. Whether or not that is the truth is up for debate.

I looked away and looked back. The serpent was still there. I opened and closed my eyes several times – still there.

It then proceeded to ‘Slither.’ It opened its ‘mouth’ and swallowed my entire body from head to toe. I could see this process happening, still with my eyes wide open.

Then I started to experience very intense electrical sensations on my head. They were so strong, I could actually hear a crackling sound in my ears. There were 6-7 times that these waves of electrical shocks went over me.

It could have easily been taken as a seizure of some sort but I knew very well what was happening. The thing was healing my brain.

I woke up several hours after everyone else again, but this time I was literally a brand new person. Several people made comments that I looked different. I knew for a fact that I was all better.

One of the women I rode to the ceremony asked me how it went, and explained that she saw one of the most amazing things that had happened with me and the facilitator. She said that at one point in the night, I was laying on my stomach and the facilitator was making pulling motions, as if he was pulling in a rope from the direction in which I was laying. She said his eyes were closed, but every time he pulled, my body was moving at the same time. She said it looked as if he was pulling something out of me….

I had no idea what she was talking about, so we went and chatted with the head facilitator who was involved in this. He responded with “there was something there that didn’t need to be there, but we got it taken care of” in the most nonchalant way that a person who had just pulled a multi-dimensional serpent off of a person’s body could say.

I don’t really have a lot of additional comments on this. This particular experience was so profoundly life-changing that I thought about it literally every single day for at least the following 2 years.

The whole thing is a miracle. Life is too, actually.

Night 3

A couple of hours before the ceremony I took another nap.

This time I had a dream that I was the emperor of a city underneath the ground and somebody was ringing this enormous cylinder bell that was so loud it sent shockwaves through this amazingly beautiful underground place.

It was a night and day difference from the dream on the first night.

I went to the ceremony knowing that I was in for a real treat.

I drank the brew then I went back out onto the dock.

I was looking for the message again, but this time it was different. I began to recognize all of the events that had to take place, not only in my lifetime, but also in the lifetime of everybody that proceeded my life, and even the lives of the people who had built the cabin that we were staying at.

I realized that life was divine and that every single detail of everything that had ever happened, had done so for a very specific and extremely well-choreographed purpose. And that something truly amazing was happening.

So I went back inside. This time, I asked questions. Things about aliens and about the nature of reality. I received very clear answers to many things.

An hour or so before dawn I decided to go back out onto the dock. There was no way I was going to sleep this time. I had energy and was super excited about everything that had happened.

“3 days at this place, hanging out on the pond, and I hadn’t seen a single fish”, I thought. I sat on the edge of the dock and reflected on everything that had happened over the weekend. I had a gigantic smile on my face, in a way that I had not experienced in way too long. I was genuinely happy and understood for the first time, that death was not something to be sad about. I told myself to remember the way I was looking at life at that moment, and that if I could always come back to that place, that I had no reason to ever be afraid of or to be sad about death.

About that time, the sun began to rise. A thought crosses my mind. “I can’t wait to see Lilly.” I was so excited to see her. I felt True love in a way I had never experienced before. I looked down and there were thousands of fish in the water.

Then it hit me. The lady told me la medicina would start working when I decided to go. The guide told me I would find Love if I surrendered. Fucking amazing.

I had the distinct feeling that the plants were working together to change my life. Come to find out, the universe works in very mysterious ways.

I was excited to be alive, once again.

And everything changed, in a major way.

Many of the problems that had repeated themselves throughout my entire life had disappeared. And with all of my cognitive abilities repaired by every objective standard (tests were back to/above where they were supposed to be for my age), I launched a digital business development company, FogPusher, on a full-time basis in 2015 and since then have had the opportunity to help business owners around the country doing what I absolutely love doing (outside of producing music and hanging with my puppy).

The pattern was interrupted, officially.

Synchronicities occurred constantly over the following weeks. There were things happening constantly that I cannot even begin to describe. Come to find out, this always happens around ayahuasca, in my personal experience.

Gratitude and la medicina saved my life.

Ayahuasca.

Over the following two years, I participated in three additional ayahuasca ceremonies. The last of these ceremonies, in October 2017, paved the way to find this ‘thing’ that everybody is searching for.

Absolute fulfillment independent of circumstance. Clarity. And more…

Two nights before the ceremony I looked down at my phone to see the 11:11 time. Like I said, Ayahuasca seems to come with amazing synchronistic activity. I have learned to use the signs as reminder to pay attention. Something is always happening, especially right before and right after an ayahuasca ceremony (in my experience).

My television had been playing Youtube videos in the background all day. Normal situation while I work.

As I look up, I find Gerry Powell from Rythmia Life Advancement Center speaking about this situation regarding the disconnection/reconnection with the soul and the process of reconciliation. The video was describing the three-step process they follow at Rythmia.

It was 11:11.

This was the video.

If it would have been literally at any other time – period, I would have thought it was a bunch of crap.

But due to the 11:11 time, I paid attention.

Then found testimonials from other peoples lives that had also changed as a result of following this process.

I focused in on what needed to be done to make it happen without the luxury of Rythmia infrastructure.

Come to find out, Rythmia isn’t necessary at all for this. Ayahuasca was an essential component for me, however.

I thought, ‘What’s the worst that can happen?’

The worst I could come up with was something other than what my brain led me to believe was in my best interest. I was all-in.

I was also reading the book, Listening to Ayahuasca, at that time. And in this book, it was recommended that one pays attention to the repetitive thought processes that are taking place in their brain, and in being aware of those prior to the ceremony, there is a great opportunity for a fresh wipe of the brain-slate.

When the ceremony approached, my intention was set. I was there to reconcile with my soul and for the removal of my mask.

I had no idea what these entailed, but come to find out, they are exactly the same thing.

A transformation took place that night, and when I woke up, clarity hit me like a bag of bricks.

Clarity also had a very interesting, and extremely well-choreographed way of unfolding over the next few weeks, changing the course of history – actually.