Mackenzie Stroh

Although it’s not always talked about so openly, mental illness is quite common—in fact, according to a survey done by Women’s Health and the National Alliance of Mental Illness, 78 percent of women suspect they have one, and 65 percent have been diagnosed with one. Still, a huge stigma persists. To break that down, we spoke to 12 women dealing with conditions like depression, PTSD, and more. All this month, we’re sharing their stories.

Name: Priyanka Wali

Age: 29

Occupation: Physician and stand-up comedian

Diagnosis: Depression

In hindsight, I started experiencing symptoms of depression in high school—I just didn’t recognize them at the time. I didn’t know what was going on, I thought this was just how life is. There was so much pressure to do well, and I did do extremely well. I graduated top of my class, I got a full ride to college—but I would also spend every Friday afternoon crying. I just didn’t understand why I would do that.

I spent years like that, so by the time I got to college, I was still depressed. But again, I had no recognition of it. In that respect, I’m grateful that I ended up going to medical school, because during my third year rotation in psychiatry, I started seeing patients who were depressed and talking to them and looking at their treatment and reading about depression. I thought, ‘Oh, this is what I’ve been experiencing. I think I’ve been depressed for a really long time.’

My depression was the result of...environmental circumstances and having poor coping skills to deal with those circumstances—and also a lack of understanding and awareness of the signs of depression. That has a lot to do with why it took so long to finally get into therapy, get on meds for a period of time, and eventually get better.

“I’m grateful that I ended up going to medical school because during my third year rotation in psychiatry, I started seeing patients who were depressed.”

My parents immigrated to this country because in India they experienced a lot of violence—so they are also traumatized and have PTSD. Unless you’re actively in therapy and actively desensitizing yourself, there is no way that trauma is going to get undone. But I just want to emphasize that by no means am I blaming anyone—my family or my parents—for my depression. Now I’m living the life that is more congruent to my true nature—I work in medicine part time, and I’m a standup comedian who performs all the time.

I got into therapy as a med student and it was literally the best thing I ever did for myself. But things definitely got worse before they got better. I went to see a psychiatrist who told me he wanted to wait to give me medication because he didn’t think I was at the point where I needed it. Then medical school kept getting more stressful, I was in a terrible relationship, and I wasn’t getting along with my parents. I started having very obsessive suicidal thoughts, and I knew it wasn’t right, but I couldn’t stop them. I felt so scared.

I told my psychiatrist, and he put me on Lexapro. Even though he said it would take six weeks to take effect, I started noticing the effect immediately. I was on it for six months and right before I graduated I felt comfortable enough to get off.

“I got into therapy as a med student, and it was literally the best thing I ever did for myself.”

After I got off the medication and had the right coping skills, I realized that depression is your body’s way of telling you that something is not right. I’m so grateful for that. Because moving forward, if I experience early signs of depression, I slow down and say, ‘Why am I feeling this? What is going on? What do I need to change?’

I survived my residency without the use of meds—and that’s when I discovered stand-up comedy and I started to listen to myself. I wasn’t afraid to listen to the person that I am. Yes, there are times when I get sad. But I know because of what I went through there is a high probability that I will never get as depressed as I was, because I know the signs and I know what I’m going to need to do to prevent that in the future.

Pick up the May 2016 issue of Women's Health, on newsstands now, for tips on how to help a friend who has a mental illness, advice on how to disclose a diagnosis at work, and more. Plus, go to our Mental Health Awareness center for more stories like Priyanka's and to find out how you can help break the stigma surrounding mental illness.

This content is created and maintained by a third party, and imported onto this page to help users provide their email addresses. You may be able to find more information about this and similar content at piano.io