We have previously detailed the ridiculous statistics produced by Romelu Lukaku, Luis Suarez, Leicester, Manchester United, Paul Pogba and Harry Kane. Now it’s time for the most ridiculous statistics of all. Step forward, Cristiano…

* Cristiano Ronaldo has scored 114 goals in the Champions League – the most of any player. Lionel Messi is second with 94.

* Cristiano Ronaldo has scored more goals in the Champions League knock-out stages (54) than all but three other players have scored overall (Messi has 94, Raul has 71 and Ruud van Nistelrooy has 56).

* Cristiano Ronaldo has scored more Champions League goals (114) than 113 of the 135 teams who have ever participated in the competition.

* Cristiano Ronaldo has scored more Champions League goals since 2009 (99) than Manchester United (98) and Manchester City (94).

* Cristiano Ronaldo has scored more Champions League goals since 2009 (99) than Tottenham (58) and Liverpool (33) combined.

* Cristiano Ronaldo is the only player to score in every game of a Champions League group stage.

* Cristiano Ronaldo scored more goals in the 2015/16 Champions League group stage (11) than Liverpool have overall in the competition since 2009 (10).

* Cristiano Ronaldo has been the Champions League top scorer in five successive seasons.

* Cristiano Ronaldo has scored the most goals in a single Champions League season (17 in 2013/14), as well as the second most (16 in 2015/16).

* Cristiano Ronaldo is the only player to have scored three hat-tricks in a single Champions League season (2013/14).

* Cristiano Ronaldo is the only player to score in three Champions League finals (2008, 2014 and 2017).

* Cristiano Ronaldo has the most hat-tricks in La Liga history (32).

* Cristiano Ronaldo has scored as many La Liga hat-tricks (32) since 2009 as Manchester United have scored Premier League hat-tricks overall.

* The only Premier League clubs to have scored more hat-tricks overall (since football began in 1992) than Cristiano Ronaldo are Arsenal (38) and Liverpool (36).

* Cristiano Ronaldo has the joint-most hat-tricks in Champions League history (7, with Messi).

* Cristiano Ronaldo (and Messi, by extension) has scored more Champions League hat-tricks (7) than every team that has ever participated in the competition except for Real Madrid (11) and Barcelona (12).

* Cristiano Ronaldo only ever scored one hat-trick for Manchester United.

* Cristiano Ronaldo is the only player in the history of football to score more than 50 goals in a season on six consecutive occasions.

* Cristiano Ronaldo is the only player to have scored in the 2004, 2008, 2012 and 2016 European Championships, as well as the 2006, 2010 and 2014 World Cups.

* Cristiano Ronaldo is the only player to win the league title, the national cup, the national Super Cup (Community Shield), the Champions League, the Club World Cup, the league’s Player of the Year, the Golden Boot and the Ballon d’Or at two separate clubs.

* Cristiano Ronaldo and Zlatan Ibrahimovic are the only players to have scored in every minute of an official football game.

* Cristiano Ronaldo is the only player to score for two different winning teams in the European Cup final.

* Cristiano Ronaldo is the only player to appear in more than one position in the UEFA Team of the Year.

* Cristiano Ronaldo has made the most appearances in the UEFA Team of the Year (10).

* Cristiano Ronaldo has won the European Golden Shoe more times than any other player (4).

* Cristiano Ronaldo is the top goalscorer in the entire history of Europe’s top six leagues.

* Cristiano Ronaldo is Portugal’s all-time top goalscorer (79) and top appearance maker (147).

* Cristiano Ronaldo is Real Madrid’s all-time top goalscorer (418).

* Cristiano Ronaldo has now scored 620 goals for club and country in 884 games.

* Cristiano Ronaldo is really good.