MILABS

Taken: Inside the Alien-Human Abduction Agenda

a book by Dr. Karla Turner

[pdf version]

Foreword

Prologue

I. Redefinition

2. Pat

3. Polly

4. Lisa

5. Anita

6. Beth

Illustrations

7. Jane

8. Angie

9. Amy

10. Casey and Karla

Comparative Charts of Experiences

11. Expanding the View

12. The Round Table

Voices of the Taken

"Perfectly real aliens exist out there," Angie acknowledged, "and it seems one kind wants to help us and another kind wants to deceive us."

"Emotionally and deep in my mind I trust certain ones of the aliens more than anything else in the universe," Polly said. "And I have been confronting bit by bit the evidence that They made me feel this way for their purposes, to fulfill their agenda, not for my good."

"What do you need all those pieces of me for?" eleven-year-old Pat asked.

We are making a new you, the tall White entity replied.

"Are you an angel?' Pat wondered.

Yes, the entity told her, but not as you have been taught.

"The alien pointed the wand at my forehead," Lisa explained. "It made me feel dizzy, and I was out. That's the night they made me have sex while they watched. The other abductee told me his name and said he was sorry. They had been taking him since he was a child."

"Two beings, one on either side, were leading me to the entrance of the big room," Amy said. "I remember noticing the wall clearly. The wall was rough rock. I remember sucking in air through my teeth and saying to myself, We're underground!"

ISBN 0-964-08990-4

When Karla Turner asked me to write a foreword to her new book, TAKEN, she knew that in my own work as a documentary filmmaker, television producer and author I have been struggling to see a bigger picture behind many anomalous phenomena that affect our planet. My own investigations have included mysterious worldwide crop formations, animal mutilations, and the human abduction syndrome. I am convinced that humanity is moving from the paradigm that we are alone in the universe to a new one in which we are not alone and something out there is interacting with us, our animals, and our plant life, forcing glimpses of other realities upon us.

The true nature and purpose of the intelligence, or intelligences, remains an enigma. The eight women in this book report communications ranging from telepathic thoughts to virtual reality dreams, but there is no coherent single truth that emerges from their experiences, nor from the hundreds of others in the abduction syndrome since the 1960s. The sheer number of different messages, often contradictory, produces confusion, mistrust and a sense of manipulation, even if that manipulation inspires positively or disturbs negatively.

"Perfectly real aliens exist out there," says one of the women in TAKEN, "and it seems one kind wants to help us and another kind wants to deceive us."

As each voice is offered for public consideration, there are themes that repeat. One of the most prominent is genetic harvesting from earth life to create a hybrid species. TAKEN suggests the possibility that an alien intelligence has been using genetic manipulation to create evolving species on our planet over eons and that Homo sapiens sapiens might be one such genetically engineered species. If so, we on the Petri dish might paradoxically be trying to study whatever watches and studies us. Consciousness of this Other without running from it or getting down on our knees to it could be a significant, perhaps unexpected, step in human evolution and survival.

Linda Moulton Howe, Creator and Supervising TV Producer, UFO Report: Sightings and author of An Alien Harvest and Glimpses of Other Realities

Indiana, 1954...

'They came in our house and set up equipment in the living room," Pat said. 'The Army men wanted to talk to me the most. Me, an eleven-year-old girl with secrets in my head. But the aliens told me I couldn't tell because 'there will be those who will tamper with your mind.' And here they were, the tamperers, the Army men."

Two female doctors set up their gear in the bedroom, where Pat was given an injection. "It made me sleepy," she said, "and I lay on my mom's bed on some towels and told them my story. I even told them, 'You're in my mom's room where the White, glowing ones were. You don't belong here, but they do'."

Puerto Rico, 1978...

Two aliens took Beth down a curved hall and through a door, into a different area. It looked like "a surgery room," and she became afraid they were going to kill her there. A third entity, holding a black box, moved to a position behind Beth. She could not see what he did, but she felt as if her head was being opened and her brain removed, all without any sensation of pain. After she was "all put back together again," a cold liquid was poured over her head.

When this procedure was finished, the aliens stood in front of her, and Beth realized that mentally she was different. Her thoughts about everything were changed, and she was filled with new ideas about God and the unity of all life within that supreme source.

This very spiritual moment was followed by a quite physical exam, as the aliens took samples from her skin and hair. A human-looking man with a widow's-peak hairline entered and made a full examination of her body, including a gynecological procedure. Then he explained many things, telling her that she and other humans had been "chosen" to carry out certain "jobs" in the future.

Texas, 1992...

"The masked alien explained that her race had been doing things to humans that they should not be doing," Amy said. "She and several groups of her race, and others, wanted to stop the 'abuse' of the humans by her race. They were working with certain people on Earth to stop the process. The other humans in the room were ex-pilots, military officials, and other professionals. They were all working together to stop the alien intrusions.

"She showed me the thing she had pulled out of my neck and said, 'This is embedded deep in the spinal cord.' The thing controlled the muscles of the body when activated. It blocked the brain and became the 'central command' of the body. I don't want to remember how or why this thing functioned."

Like Pat, Beth, and Amy, I am an abductee. I have been forcibly taken and controlled by non-human entities. When I told my story of alien encounters in INTO THE FRINGE, I was contacted by these women and many other people with similar experiences, in need of support and assistance.

I am also a researcher of abduction reports, and from these contacts emerged a number of accounts that shed important light on the alien agenda of human interaction. This book is the result of lengthy investigations into the abduction experiences of eight women from various parts of the country. The correlation of evidence from their accounts greatly widens the parameters of the abduction scenario and points to certain aspects, previously disregarded or avoided, in need of serious exploration.

This is also a personal book, a collation of unique, intimate accounts of alien-human interactions. The people who share their experiences here are courageous representatives of the many others in this country and elsewhere whose lives partake of parallel realities. They function successfully in a world shared by everyone else, as housewives, mothers, grandmothers, artists, nurses, counselors, teachers, computer engineers, and blue-collar workers.

But in the blink of an eye-or the flash of multicolored lights strobing in the hall late at night-their normal lives can disappear, and they find themselves taken into the time and space of an alien world.

It is difficult for most abduction memories to be investigated in a purely scientific manner, especially since they are often suppressed, surfacing only as vague flashbacks and dreamlike episodes. In this field there has been strong objection to anecdotal information. But the scientific approach to the study of the UFO phenomenon as a whole has proven less than successful. In spite of half a century of many intelligent people researching the UFO and alien presence with scientific methods, reliable answers to the primary questions have not been found. Investigations of sightings reports, landing traces, photos and video tapes, alleged implants, and related government documents have amassed a mountain of data and a number of theories-but nothing indisputably true about the nature of UFOs and their non-human occupants, their origin, or the reason for their presence here among us now.

Great gains have been made in the area of abduction therapy, providing help and support for those who are living with the phenomenon and working to resolve their emotional trauma, to keep the disruption of their everyday lives to a minimum, and to transform or assimilate these experiences in a positive way. And while is this laudable, it is not necessarily research. Therapy's goal is one of personal balance, but the goal of research is a larger, clearer understanding of the phenomenon. The point is not so much learning to live with abductions as it is finding out why they happen, what they mean, and whether and how the situation can be altered.

The need for reliable answers is nowhere greater than in the abduction phenomenon. It intimately affects people of all ages and backgrounds, irrevocably altering their personal lives and their perceptions of reality, and it raises immense questions about our past, present, and future as a species. But in spite of the best scientific approaches to the question, all that ufological research has brought to most people is a realization that UFOs exist-and perhaps a few cute, harmless aliens-but no confrontation with what this means.

Science has been trying to measure a dream, it seems, using traditional ideas and practices, and it has proved elusive. The UFO phenomenon is not confined to our current scientific understanding of perceived reality. We do not yet have the technology or natural perceptive abilities to capture and assess it. That is why the scientific approach to photographic evidence, landing traces, implants, and document analyses has so little in the way of hard evidence to show for its work. Instead, its best results offer only circumstantial data, carrying very little more weight than the anecdotal data of abduction research in the scales of traditional science.

It is in the abduction phenomenon that we come most urgently face to face with the alien presence and thus have our best opportunity to observe the activity and assess its purpose or agenda. All of the UFO photos in the world tell us nothing compared to the words of those who have encountered the alien force in their lives and those of their families.

And there are many, like Pat and Amy and the others presented here. From the response to INTO THE FRINGE, it sometimes seemed that abduction experiences were becoming virtually epidemic. Yet studies by mental health professionals show that the people who make these reports are eminently sane, that the aftermath of these events is real, and that they do not spring from any mass psychosis but from experienced anomalous trauma.

I also found that many of the reports contained details very similar to certain things my family and I had experienced. Still, in every case there was always present the "unique factor" within the situations, providing highly individualized episodes for each abductee. I often wondered if these unique events, these "one-time shots," might not prove to have some unperceived correlations, to form a pattern as yet out of focus, and give us more information than the now-recognized patterns of certain exams, baby presentations, and the like. Far from being a neat, limited phenomenon, alien interaction with humans is still very much a riddle, mystery, enigma, and more.

Abduction research has not yet produced answers, but there are certainly different theories to be had-an embarrassment of riches, really. Unfortunately, these theories rest on a very partial, highly selective use of the data, rather than dealing with the complexities of the entire, life-long and minute-by-minute, reality of the abduction scenario.

It is more than the sum of its parts. The intermittent UFO sightings, missing-time episodes, conscious encounters, and virtual-reality scenarios are like blank milestones on a journey which, for the abductee, is continuous and headed in an unknown direction. More accurately, they are like lights that suddenly appear in the dark, which we hope will shed illumination and lead to understanding. Instead, however, these startling lights either blind us with their intensity, so that we cannot see their source, or they cast strange shadows, whose false appearances and misleading movements can easily confuse and disorient us.

No one knows this better than an abductee. Investigators who have not had personal experiences with the phenomenon can listen to abduction accounts and then ponder the possibilities. Was the person lying? Was it a real event, or did it occur on a mental level? What parts of the recollection are real, and which are illusionary? But the abductee understands that it may very well be both possibilities at once, both real and mental, real and illusionary. The aliens, whether by intellectual, psychic, or technological means, are able to create any perception, and therefore any illusion, for the person in their hands.

The implications are explosive. Perhaps that is why the logical conclusions of these implications are so rarely taken into account. If we credit the idea of illusionary mastery with serious validity, then we must either come up with a reliable acid test to discern illusion and actuality in abduction events, or we may have to admit that the truth behind these events is unknowable in current scientific terms. Dealing with the aliens' deceptive abilities may be the most crucial problem facing abduction research today.

Once the illusionary capability has been demonstrated and experienced, new perceptions and insights often emerge. The witness usually has no trouble recognizing the non-human nature of the force behind the events. The manipulation of time and space by these beings, the way they play with our psychology and our perceptions, all bespeak a technology far beyond the human. Or certainly, if any human agency did have this sort of capability, it would have plenty of applications far better than pulling hundreds of 3 a.m. raids on bedrooms around the globe every night, decade after decade, in which thousands of humans pretend to be aliens.

The abductee also learns from experience that the aliens induce an altered perceptive state in humans during every encounter. Employed for control, it can be used to prevent any undesired responses from the abductee. And the altered state prevents any objective assessment of the situation by the witness. This means that the witness can only report what was seen, felt, and heard-which is not necessarily a reflection of what actually occurred. By inducing and manipulating altered consciousness in the abductee, the aliens assume full control of the situation and thus exert great control over the data reported by the witness.

Abductees report alien-controlled information.

This is a fact abduction researchers must face. Then, perhaps, work can begin on solving this problem, on finding ways around the memory blocks and screen illusions, in order to discover the real events and the agenda behind them. Until the day we can unmask the alien illusions, however, we can at least study the entire body of reported data, controlled though it may be, trying to learn more about why certain images and events are employed and what they can tell us about the covert directors of these scenarios.

Many of the people who contacted me after reading INTO THE FRINGE are looking for answers, just as I am compelled to do. This present work is an attempt to aid in the search, making a number of representative cases available for public scrutiny and assessment. Too often, reports on abduction activity are presented entirely in second-hand form by investigators, and too often these reports are incomplete, focusing only on some parts of an event and discarding or ignoring others.

Such omissions are clearly a hindrance to research, for the censored reports cannot present a total picture of the abduction phenomenon. It must include a real feeling for what it is like to live with such events. Abductees operate in parallel realities, searching for the strength to cope with the real and the unreal at the same time because, as they have learned, one can never be sure which is which in this phenomenon.

The number of abduction reports around the country shows just how widespread the phenomenon may be, and the numbers continue to increase. Eight different abductees, all women, from various parts of the country have volunteered to share their experiences here. Born between 1943 and 1966, they live in five different states and Puerto Rico. They were unacquainted with one another at the time of their contacts with me. Their backgrounds are as varied as their occupations, and so are their ideas about the abduction phenomenon.

Like most of us who've had alien encounters, these women are uncertain about the nature of the events they've reported. They have many questions and very few answers. Four of the women have never undergone regressive hypnosis and thus are only reporting events they consciously recalled. The other four women have used hypnosis, although very minimally as will be noted in their accounts, and almost everything in their reports also comes from conscious, pre-hypnosis, recollections.

I point this out because there are some who have raised doubts and questions about the use of regressive hypnosis in abduction research. Some feel that hypnotically retrieved information is no more reliable than conscious recollections; some believe that the use of hypnosis can contaminate and damage an investigation; and some have said they believe hypnotically retrieved information is far more reliable in abduction situations than the witness's conscious memories. The presentation here provides access to both types of data, but the majority comes from conscious recollections.

Although I believe it is extremely useful to employ regressive hypnosis in the retrieval of this information, I also think it is important to present accounts from women whose knowledge and understanding of their situations is gleaned only from the incomplete, ambiguous memories of events they have consciously retained. Their stories and their lives are much more representative of a "typical" abductee's situation than are the accounts of those who have benefited from hypnosis, simply because most abductees have no access to this tool.

The women are not seeking notoriety, and in order to protect them from public harassment, pseudonyms have been used. But all of the details are accurate, and as bizarre as they may seem, it is important to remember that they are very real to the people involved, that in many instances there have been more than one witness to the events, as well as other corroborative evidence, and that they are highly consistent with numerous abduction reports.

These women have shared their stories because they understand the gravity of the phenomenon and hope to contribute their information to its research. They also understand the need for support which many silent abductees are experiencing. The self-doubt, isolation, even fear that result from living with alien encounters can sometimes be severe, and the need to forge bonds of mutual understanding and support is vital. These, then, are the motivations of the eight women. My own purpose is similar, which is why an update of the experiences my husband and I have witnessed is also included.

An overview of all our experiences, as well as reports of other abductees, shows a much more complex program of activity in the phenomenon than is usually acknowledged. To begin with, the abduction scenario comprises a number of different types of events. On the most immediate level are the physical abductions, in which a person is forcibly removed from the normal environment by 'alien' (in the most generic sense) entities, the person's awareness is altered, and some interaction occurs. Subsequent conscious memories of the event are usually quite incomplete. Only when the event is witnessed by more than one person, or when there are physical marks on the abductee's body-punctures, scoops, patterns of bruises, artificial designs-does the witness usually feel safe in asserting the 'reality' of the encounter.

To complicate matters, many reports show that some interactions occur on a mental rather than a physical level. One type is an artificially induced virtual-reality scenario (VRS), an externally introduced event, that to the witness is practically indistinguishable from objective reality. The person may experience a situation with full sensory input and react with genuine physical and emotional responses, although in 'reality' the person may be lying immobile on an exam table, or sitting attached to some alien apparatus, or even asleep in bed with no outward sign of disturbance.

While the VRS may have been a matter of theory in the past, a possible explanation for some of the more "unacceptable" abduction accounts, it has now been confirmed in a three-witness, conscious event. It came to light when I was investigating the abduction experiences of Ted Rice, a psychic of excellent reputation throughout the southern states.

Ted witnessed a virtual-reality scenario when he was in Florida visiting a friend, Marie, along with another house guest, Amelia. The two women occupied twin beds in one room, and Ted slept down the hall in another. Not long after going to bed one night during his visit, he was awakened by Marie shouting for him to "come quickly!"

Heading down the hall, Ted saw a pervasive blue glow emanating from the other bedroom doorway. Entering, he found Marie pressed against the far wall, staring at the twin beds in shock.

And he saw where the blue light was coming from. Amelia lay immobile in one bed, surrounded by a huge, blue, glowing, "electrical" sphere of light. Her eyes were open, and she didn't seem to be in any distress as she carried on a conversation with someone Ted and Marie couldn't see. Terrified, they tried to talk to her, but they could hardly hear one another even when shouting. Amelia continued to speak within the sphere for several minutes, until the blue light suddenly disappeared, at which point she was finally free of the paralysis that had kept her in the bed.

Amelia told Ted and Marie that the experience started with the loud sound of a helicopter low over the house. When she opened her eyes she could see through the ceiling and roof, as if they'd disappeared, to where the helicopter was hovering just above the house. She described two entities in the craft, whom she said also appeared at the foot of the bed before the blue light vanished. One being was tall, with greenish skin, an egg-shaped head, and slanted eyes as the only visible facial features. The other, shorter, entity, Amelia said, was blue-black in color.

Ted and Marie had seen absolutely nothing of these creatures, nor had they heard a helicopter at any time. But they had seen the sphere of light, with brighter, darting lights shooting through it, and Amelia frozen in a slightly raised position inside it, for she had been starting to sit up when the light coalesced and paralyzed her.

Amelia's perception of the experience was completely "real" for her. She was conscious when it began and throughout the entire event, as Ted and Marie attested. From everything her sensory input told her, Amelia had experienced an actual event with the craft and entities. Virtual reality. And the conscious and unaffected witnesses, Ted and Marie, observed objectively real effects of the mechanism which manipulated the event, verifying its external origin.

VRS technology exists and is in use, this much is clear. And unless there are outside witnesses, such as in this rare instance, the experiencer cannot personally discern between a VRS and an actual event. The virtual-reality scenario may occur while the person is conscious, as in Amelia's case, or it may be introduced into the person's dream state. According to those who've experienced the VRS dream-and I am one of those, as will be discussed later-it is an intrusive event that suddenly interrupts a normal dream. The experiencer is aware of a total, abrupt change in consciousness and finds himself in an event altogether different from his dream.

What follows may be a perceived event, with action, location, and personnel, or it may be a communication or even a vision. At its conclusion, the experiencer normally awakens, and, finding himself in his own bed, he rationalizes the whole thing as an extraordinary dream, in spite of the event's decidedly non-dreamlike qualities. Without physical proof of the event's reality, or even a name for this altered perceptive experiential event, he is left to call it a dream.

In addition to the abductions and virtual-reality scenarios, abductees also report telepathic contacts from entities who are not physically or perceivably present. These contacts include messages about spiritual matters, warnings of future disasters, "teaching" sessions, displays of symbols, and information on mathematics, physics, religion, politics, and the nature of the human species.

On a secondary level, there are events that occur, not during encounters, but subsequent to them, affecting things in the abductee's normal environment. Lights and electronic equipment malfunction; voices and unexplained sounds are heard; animals are physiologically affected; lights appear both inside and outside the house; there are odd and disturbing phone calls; and sometimes traces of a UFO's presence or landing on the property.

And finally there are the internal changes that take place with most abductees, reshaping their attitudes, belief structures, and perceptions of reality. Thus, the externally induced, temporary, altered awareness which occurs during abductions is paralleled by a permanent, internal alteration, and the abductee's life is forever changed.

There is much more to the abduction phenomenon than the public has been told, and this book is in part an attempt to correct that situation and expand our definition of the abduction scenario. Its primary purpose is not to offer scientific data or to convince a disbelieving audience that UFOs and aliens exist. People are coming to this awareness on their own, one by one, as the phenomenon intrudes into their lives and shatters their old reality in a way that cannot be imagined until it is experienced.

The following accounts from Pat, Polly, Lisa, Anita, Beth, Jane, Angie, and Amy show what it is like to live with this awareness far more thoroughly than any scientific analysis can hope to do. By allowing entrance into their lives, they permit others to witness the events from the inside rather than from a distance. Their experiences, while individually unique, taken together make a choir of voices expressing the range and intensity of life in the altered world of the alien abduction agenda.

My investigation with Pat began when a mutual acquaintance heard her story of an unusual UFO event and suggested she contact me. A fifty-year-old divorced mother of grown children, Pat lives in Florida, but the story she related concerned an event that occurred in 1954 when she lived in Floyd's Knob, Indiana.

Pat's memory of this event, as in the case of so many people who have had UFO experiences, was totally suppressed after the occurrence. It all came flooding back into her consciousness in 1986-scenes of a brilliant orange ball of light, little gray entities both inside and outside the farmhouse, and, most disturbing of all, military personnel on the property.

"I thought I must be crazy when these memories came back, " Pat said. "But they were so strong and real, I finally got in touch with my brother and sister and asked if they recalled anything similar. My sister Rose said she recalled the aliens and the military people, too. But although my brother didn't remember the orange ball of light, he clearly remembered the military personnel and some of his interactions with them."

Through extensive conversations, letters, and drawings from Pat and her siblings, the following extraordinary scenario emerged, raising serious questions not only about the nature of the alien abduction agenda but also about the involvement of our military with citizens who have been the target of such interactions.

The setting was a sixteen-acre farm near Floyd's Knob, Indiana, in the summer of 1954. Eleven-year-old Pat lived there with her mother, step-father, grandmother, a nine-year-old brother and six-year-old sister. One night several family members saw a large orange ball of light appear outside the farmhouse. Pat had already gone to bed but was awakened by either her grandmother or her sister to look out the window. In the sky she saw the orange light sitting motionless at first, then moving rapidly out of sight around the back of the house.

"I remember vaguely thinking, J will go back to bed to wait. It seems to me that I knew 'they' were coming," Pat said. "I saw my mother running to the kitchen door to make sure it was locked and to see the ball come over the yard. I remember thinking, It won't do any good to lock the door, they can come in anyway. It was as if I 'knew' what to expect." Pat suddenly felt sleepy but didn't remember going back to bed. Her next memory was of a multicolored light slowly spinning around the room in total silence, emitting blue, purple, and violet hues. She got out of bed and went to the window where she saw a Gray floating just outside.

hook at those eyesl she thought. They can film usl The gaze of the Gray seemed to penetrate her entire being, and she sensed a familiarity with him.

Do not be afraid, it communicated to Pat. You are the chosen child. We will not harm you.

Pat turned around and saw several taller white entities coming into the bedroom. As they began to float her grandmother out of the door, Pat sensed the older woman's terror, and she, too, was feeling fearful. When the room was filled with the strange beings, a sparkling shaft of light came down through the ceiling. As it coalesced, Pat saw in the midst of the light a figure which she perceived as a blond-haired, blue-eyed Jesus, in a resplendent robe. He took Pat's right hand and said, Do not be afraid, my child. These are mine, gesturing to the beings who were standing all around the room.

The Jesus figure looked at Pat and said, I am the light of the world. Then he was again surrounded by the sparkling shaft of light, which ascended back into the ceiling and took him with it.

She and her grandmother were floated out of the room by the entities. Passing by her mother's bedroom, Pat saw a brilliant white light coming out of the room. Five of the taller Whites were around her step-father's bed, and they seemed to be examining one of his atrophied legs, the result of polio. A glowing green bar of light, about five inches long, floated over him. Continuing on through the house and out into the yard, Pat saw a bright crystalline flying craft hovering low to the ground. A beam of light came out of the bottom of the craft and engulfed her.

"I remember my sister's blonde curly head next to mine as we went up inside the craft," Pat said. "We were looking down at the ground and saw my mom and grandmother there looking up, like zombies." She could also see that the entire yard was swarming with Grays hurrying about the area. Although neither she nor Rose is certain of the exact sequence of events, they recalled a group of the smaller gray beings near a ditch beside the cellar door. Rose saw the beings in a line, walking across a board spanning the ditch. But Pat's memory included a line or wall of fire in the ditch and a row of "small, gray, skinny" aliens wearing "Chinese rice-paddy hats with big brims."

"I was on one side of the long ditch, and they were on the other. They were mentally telling me Pass through the light, it will not burn you-which I was thinking at that time, that I would get burned. The fire was not hot, and it was supposed to cleanse me. I did go through it to the other side, but I do not remember doing it or what happened after that."

After the light transported her and Rose up into the craft, Pat recalled sitting on a table in a room with Grays present. A taller White came over with a file-type instrument and scraped skin from her inner forearm and the bottoms of her feet, clipped some of her hair, and then peeled away samples of her fingernails.

"What do you need all those pieces of me for?" she asked.

We are making a new you, the entity replied.

"Are you an angel?" Pat inquired.

Yes, the entity told her, but not like you have been taught.

Pat was taken into another room where she lay on a table, above which was a dark instrument. One of the Grays came in and pulled down a tube from this device which had a thin needle on the end. Pat became afraid, but the Gray told her, This is the part you don't have to remember. Pat knew that the needle was about to be inserted up into her right nostril, but before it happened she passed out.

Pat recalled another event during the physical exam, being "fused" with a silver light. "It was done from something over my body," she said, "up high in the room. He [alien] 'fused me' into my head with the silver light; it will keep me from violent harm; it let me be perfect in human form for a few seconds; it was a protective light. I get the idea that when this silver light goes into my 'other body' I will be made into the 'new me.' In other words, the 'new me' will come to life with my soul in it."

Pat came back to consciousness after the episode with the needle and found herself back in the first room on the table. She was crying because she couldn't stay with the Grays. When they told her, It isn't time yet, she asked for a souvenir as proof that the experience had really occurred: the green "healer" rock she'd seen above her step-father's body. Although the aliens apparently gave her this device, they told her that it would not "work" properly for her, only for them. She was also told, You are going to have to forget this.

"Why?" Pat asked.

Because there are those who will tamper with your mind, the Gray replied.

Pat was returned to the house, where she saw all of her family sitting in the living room in a daze. 'They looked like zombies," Pat said. Even her step-father was propped up on the floor leaning against a sofa. She was placed in her bed and saw one of the Grays outside her window gesturing a farewell. She responded with a wave and was immediately asleep again.

The next day, there doesn't seem to have been any discussion about the previous night's extraordinary events. But Pat's brother recalls that it was that day when the military personnel arrived. A white staff car, a green car, a jeep, and several white vans came onto the property carrying instruments and equipment. There was also a troop carrier with soldiers who proceeded to comb over the entire sixteen acres of the farm. The large truck was hidden in the barn, and Pat's brother said that he had to move the animal feed to the smokehouse because the soldiers wouldn't let him into the barn once their equipment was stored there.

"They came in our house and set up equipment in the living room," Pat recalled. "The army men wanted to talk to me the most, me, an eleven-year-old girl with secrets in my head. But the beings told me I couldn't tell because 'there will be those who will tamper with your mind.' And here they were, the tamperers, the army men."

Everyone except her brother-who was allowed to go out in order to take care of the farm animals-was kept inside the house for the four days in which the military personnel were present. Only her brother saw what was going on outside the house. He remembers more than twenty soldiers brought in the big truck and told to man their stations on the farm. Two of the men stayed at the end of the driveway, and the others performed various duties on the grounds.

When he was allowed outside to take care of the chores, Pat's brother remembers being questioned by a man dressed in a white lab coat, who asked about the chickens and pigs.

"Are your pigs out there?" the man asked, gesturing, and the boy nodded affirmatively.

"Have the pigs been acting funny?"

"No," the boy said, "why?"

The man said something about the minerals in the soil making the animals act strangely. Pat's brother said he felt comfortable with this man and wasn't afraid to answer his questions or to ask some of his own. He even asked if the man wanted some fresh mint, a favorite treat, from a patch near the cellar.

But the man refused. "They're taking samples there and we'll be in the way," he explained. "When they're done, we'll go get some."

Pat said she was "mad" about being restricted. "I felt scared like they would take away my family and put me somewhere like in a jail or something. But I also felt protected by the being who was my friend. I was calling him a little boy then, but I knew the being wasn't a real little boy."

Two female doctors set up their gear in the parents' bedroom, where Pat was given an injection. "It made me sleepy," she said, "and I lay on my mom's bed on some towels and told them my story. I even told them, 'You're in my mom's room where the white glowing ones were. You don't belong here, but they do'."

I asked Pat to start back at the beginning and tell me everything she could remember about this event. She put herself back into an eleven-year-old frame of mind and began to relive the situation.

"I see this man dressed up in a uniform of some kind, a full-dress uniform, but it is brown," she said. "He has on a coat jacket and pants that match and what I call a captain's hat. He is talking to my mother and grandmother, holding a file envelope in his hands. He has thick silver-gray hair. There is another man in a dress uniform, and he took off his coat and rolled up his sleeves. His name is Mr. Donaldson. He's an army man, too," she explained, "but the other people are setting up a 'three-TV-screen' thing in our living room. It's a little taller than I was."

Mr. Donaldson then opened out "arms" on the machine and told Pat that the device looked like a robot. "See, Pat," he said, "if we open the panels out, they look like arms, so maybe you saw a robot like this?"

"No," Pat told him adamantly, "I didn't see a robot. I saw a real little boy."

She recalled the "lady doctors" clearly. "One lady had on a white coat," she described. "One was named Dr. Susan, and she had on a light orange coat. Dr. Susan seemed to have brown-blonde hair with bangs over her forehead, and the rest of her hair was pulled back away from her face. She had what looked like stuff from a dentist's office set up in my mom's room. It had instruments of some kind on it, but it is not clear what they were. The really clear picture is of the shot thing. It was wrapped in cellophane or plastic, and there was this little hose that went with it. Both the shot thing and the hose were in the same clear plastic bag. Dr. Susan began to open the shot bag, and I got scared and asked her if I had to get a shot with that thing."

Dr. Susan then directed Pat to Mr. Donaldson, who was in the living room, speaking angrily to some men dressed in what she described as "white moon suits" holding "white metal boxes without handles." He was saying, "I told you to use the ones with the handles."

Pat said the shot made her feel "dreamy" and willing to talk about her "secret" memories." She was upset that Mr. Donaldson didn't believe her. "I always told the truth," Pat said, "because my mom hated a liar, so in my wide-eyed innocence I told the army men about my visit with the beings. And I cried when they told me I didn't see what I thought I saw. They treated me like I was lying about it. After I cried, I guess Mr. Donaldson felt sorry for me because everyone started being 'sugar' nice. But I didn't like that at all because I knew it was fake. Why did they say I didn't see the little boy? Why did such a wonderful thing as this visit get everyone so upset and mad? And why did I have to get a shot?"

Someone asked about the glowing white beings and Pat said they were angels.

"How do you know they are angels?" her interrogator asked.

"Because they told me so," Pat replied.

"And what else did they tell you, Pat? Did they tell you anything else?"

"Yes," Pat answered, "they told me a lot of things, but I can't remember now. Someday I will remember, but not now."

"Why can't you remember now?" she was asked.

"Because ," Pat replied, "they said it's not time to remember, and besides, you were coming here, and I can't tell you because it's a special thing. When I'm a lot older I'll remember what they said and what's going to happen."

"Did they tell you what's going to happen?"

"Yes, they did, they told me about the 'bad time on earth.' I'm not supposed to tell about that. I can't remember now. Well," she admitted, "some of it I remember, like the crystalline ship they were in. It was full of lights, and I called it the crystalline ship because it wasn't metal like a plane. The lights made everything work by itself, and they move things without touching them, and even me, they moved me without touching me. They moved me up and down, and they are full of love, and they protected me with a silver light in me, and I love them."

One of the army men then asked her to describe the little boy's hair and clothes. Pat said she felt as if the army man was dumb, asking such a question. "Don't you know," she told him, "that the beings don't have hair and they don't wear clothes? The little boy has real big, slanty eyes that can film everything inside me, in my head and my soul. He talks to me in my head and doesn't use his mouth because he only has a line there. He's really skinny, but he doesn't have to eat because he's an angel.

"I thought angels had wings, and I laughed because he laughed with his eyes because he knew what I was thinking about the wings. I got kind of scared because I knew he was really an angel then. He knew what I thought, and only angels can tell what you think all the time, except so can Jesus. So I thought in my head, Do you know Jesusl and the beings and I filled up with a 'love' feeling that kind of made me cry and 'know' something special. And the being said, Yes in my head. I said, Are you like the angels? And the being said, Yes, but not as you have been taught. I wanted to stay with them and go back with them."

"Pat, stop for a minute," the interrogator interrupted, "and let us ask you a question. You said you wanted to go back with them? Where did you want to go back to?"

"I can't tell you that," Pat replied, "I'm not supposed to tell that part. But the angel said when it was time to go they would come back, they promised me. I made them promise me. I made them promise not to forget me and I begged them to take me, but he said it wasn't time yet. I begged and cried and felt real sad. Mr. Donaldson asked me why I was crying, and I told him, 'Because you're making me cry and you're making me tell, and I'm not supposed to tell, and you think I'm lying, but I'm not."

"Okay, stop crying, Pat," Mr. Donaldson told her. "Calm down and listen to my voice. I don't think you're lying, and we won't ask you any more questions if you tell us about your souvenirs. Where are they, Pat? Do you have souvenirs?"

Pat began to feel very stressful and mistrustful of the army men. She tried not to say anything more, but Mr. Donaldson kept badgering her, "Where are your souvenirs?"

"I cried," Pat said, "and told him they were mine and why did he want them? I said they were in my cigar box under my bed. I wouldn't give them the box, but my sister went and got it for them."

When they took the cigar box, which contained Pat's "green healer rock," it was put into one of the metal boxes by the men dressed in the white protective suits.

"I saw my grandmother sitting on my bed with the little kids, and she was crying," Pat recalled. "I asked her if the army men were going to hurt the little boy."

"Oh, Patty," the grandmother said, "there is no little boy."

"I told her there was, too, because I sat with him and did things. She just cried some more. And then Mr. Donaldson showed me the triple-TV thing and tried to convince me that I had seen something like it, a robot, and not a little boy. I got real mad and told him, 'I saw a real little boy and not a robot."

"Well, Pat," he said then, maybe you just had a d ream about the little boy. Was he in your dream?"

"I didn't dream him," Pat insisted, "he was real."

"Pat," the man continued, "it was a dream, a kind of dream that just seems real. You did not see a real little boy because there are no such things."

"Yes, I did," Pat said, "and he came in the orange ball and looked in my window and filmed me with his eyes."

"Did the dream frighten you?" Mr. Donaldson asked.

"It wasn't a dream," Pat said stubbornly, "and I was only scared a little bit because he looked so different from me, because he was skinny and gray, but I knew he wouldn't hurt me."

Pat remembered almost nothing else after the interrogation, although the military people were present for several days. "After the army men left," she recalled, "my whole family seemed sad, kind of in a daze, and I had no memory of anything after that. We moved to town before my twelfth birthday in August 1955."

It wasn't until 1986 that the memories of the aliens and the military came back. Pat does not want any personal publicity because of these events, but she has asked me to include the actual location and date of this event-Floyd's Knob, Indiana, in 1954-in the hope that there may be readers from that area who remember seeing the military vehicles that came into the town and who can thus provide some outside verification of the things she and her brother and sister have recalled.

I asked if any other unusual events had occurred since then, knowing from my research that most abductees have reported multiple experiences in their lives. Pat, it turns out, was no exception.

In the fall of 1962, making a trip to Kentucky with a friend, Pat got lost for a while before spotting a sign for Ft. Knox. Laughing about the confusion, they retraced the route in search of their destination. But instead, they ended up in a deserted train yard, sitting in the car with the engine off. Pat said they felt as if they'd just "come out" of some unremembered experience, with no idea why the car was stopped. They never found their destination and finally gave up, returning home at dark.

But later in a dream Pat recalled being out of the car with her friend beside her. She saw a ripple of golden light like an "elevator" moving up at an angle and "angels" on each side. She said they were "respectful" of a blond man who seemed to her like Jesus. Her friend was screaming hysterically, "They want you!"

Pat replied, "Don't be afraid, it's okay." She went up to the blond man who was surrounded by a beautiful light. He talked to her about becoming a mother and about a "seed of life." He said he had the power of all seed in his hand. At the end of the experience, he held out his hand to her and showed her a seed, telling her it was for her benefit and to have no fear.

A few months later, Pat, who was now pregnant, moved to Florida. She remembers telling her husband that the baby would be a boy, but that it wouldn't be viable. "I'm going to have it but not keep it," she told him, unable to explain how she knew this. For the next several months she and her two children lived in a garage apartment. One night, Pat came to consciousness just as she was walking into the apartment as if she had been outside, although she didn't recall being there. She felt an odd, pleasant vibratory sensation and remembered thinking, They came and got me.

Nothing more seems to have happened at this time, and Pat continued to have her prenatal checkups which showed that everything was progressing fine with the baby. But then in the eighth month, the doctor could not find a fetal heartbeat. And when she delivered at full-term in May, the baby boy was stillborn. The foreknowledge proved true.

Later that same year, Pat remembers finding herself in a quiet room, surrounded by Grays and waiting for something. The Gray she thought of as her "friend" appeared in the doorway, showing her a baby. He told her that she had a choice to see the baby.

"No," Pat replied, "it's okay, it's fine. You'll take better care of it than I could." But in that brief glimpse, she saw a tiny, skinny baby with blue, slanted eyes. She felt that somehow this baby was a repository for the soul of the child who had died at birth, and she said she felt trusting and thankful toward her friend for showing her that the little boy had, in a sense, survived.

Of the memories which have surfaced in the past several years, none raises more questions than the "cocoon people." "I can't remember when the actual event might have occurred," Pat told me. "All I recall is being in a large room with soft white lighting, and one of the Grays was there. I vaguely recall seeing a human male there, but not what he was doing."

Part of the large room was filled with what looked to be sarcophagus-like boxes, and in these boxes were human forms. "They were alive," Pat recalled, "but not animated. There was white misty stuff all over them, and I knew the misty stuff kept them alive. I knew they were waiting to come to life in the future."

The being asked Pat, Do you want to see yours ?

Pat said, "Yes," and was shown a human female body in one of the containers. "Don't ask how I knew it was female," she continued, "I just felt it. I saw a little bit of human face through the mist, like a nose mouth, eyes, definitely human. I knew this was connected with the 1954 visit, because I remembered they told me they were making a 'new me.' I felt this cocoon was the new me. I felt that they are waiting for the resurrection," she said, "or reanimation, and we will all be able to see and talk with them here on earth. If I were to die now, I believe that my 'other body' will house my soul when Jesus says it is time, and I, too, will come back. If I live through all the destruction (to come) into the new world, I will still need my other body, as this one I have will die anyway."

In her mid-forties, Pat had another experience with the beings, and this time she recalled being in a room lit with a golden glow. She was taken to a desk-sized device in the top of which were circular openings. In each opening was a different colored vibrating light, and she was told to put her hands in the lights. As she did, she heard the most beautiful sounds she had ever heard. Each light made a different sound.

That is the sound of your soul, the Gray told her.

Pat understood that this had something to do with the inanimate human bodies she had been shown, bodies which didn't have a "soul power" activating them.

In 1987, Pat had another possible experience-much more typical of the usual abduction reports- which included her young grandson. "Was this a dream?" she mused when relating it to me. "I have no proof. I was in my daughter's house, and it was nighttime. I seemed to be floating to my grandson's room. I took his hand, and we floated together, upright, about six inches off the floor. We floated out the front door, out to the driveway, and stopped while the gate swung open to the road. There were about ten or fifteen beings across the road in the woods. They all rose up out of the woods at the same time. I could hear my grandson think, Mamaw, can I play with those kids ?

"I thought back to him, No, honey, these are special kids, they don't play like regular kids. We floated down the road to the cul-de-sac. There in the dead-end circle was a ship with red 'blips' that went around it, a saucer. There was a 'door' with light. We floated up a ramp, and I saw my 'being friend' and then I don't remember any more. Anyway, my grandson and I went together on this trip. Or I'd rather call it a dream-I'm not sure."

Pat had a number of intensely affecting experiences that occurred while she was in a meditative or dream state, and so she has been unable to feel confident that they were "real." In some of these dream-events she has seen a variety of flying craft; she has had apparent out-of-body experiences; and she has received telepathic communications.

One such event in October 1992 seemed related to some of her previous experiences. "I dreamed someone was talking to me mentally," she said, "telling me things. I couldn't grasp the exact words, but I heard one sentence like this: The destruction comes in four quariens. 'Quarien' is not a word we know, but I took it to mean four parts of some kind. Then I saw what I call a graph. I felt as though I was getting a gentle warning of the 'bad time on earth' like it is very near to happening now."

Such warnings had not only been given to Pat at various times in her life, but they have been part of many abductees' experiences and are indeed one of the most commonly reported events in this phenomenon.

So are unexplained physical marks on abductees' bodies, and here again Pat fits the pattern. In the summer of 1993, Pat discovered an unusual design on her inner wrist, a circle of six dots with a seventh dot in the center. This design, incidentally, was reported in a handful of cases in 1991 and 1992, and it may not be a coincidence that these cases have mostly come from Florida, where Pat lives.

A couple of months after the design appeared, Pat had an experience relating to this circular pattern. "I had a dream August 7, in the middle of the afternoon," she explained. "It was one of those 'naps' that [makes you] 'hit the bed and you're out like a light.' There were voices in my dream that sounded like soft whispers, and I began to listen more closely.

'There was something said about 'being innocent like a child,' and this feeling flooded my whole body and soul. It felt like being in the state of pure innocence without knowing anything about fear, hate, prejudice...a pure, wonderful state of being in love, secure, protected, and 'without sin' as we call it. I saw a scene from my childhood of the town I lived in. It looked like it did way back then. I saw myself, about eleven years old. My feeling in the dream was of great

'Then a voice said to me, Get up, child, and look to the Nebulous. It can take you there. And in my dream I got up and unlocked my back door and looked up in a daytime sky and saw a most beautiful circle of lights with one light in the middle, spinning around like marquee lights on a movie house, all spinning in golden color. It was beautiful, and the voice said I could not go now, because in that dream I was pleading to go to the Nebulous now. When he said I couldn't go now, I begged him to let me see it when I was in my conscious mind. He said he would, but I haven't seen it yet. It was like a wondrous thing for another time in my life. But my overall feeling was that I would have died to go to this Nebulous.

"I woke up very groggy, like I was on drugs, and hurried to write it down before I could forget. The nebulous design was the same as the design on my wrist."

Pat felt she understood what "Nebulous" meant, associating it with the lighted circular object she first saw. But "nebulous" is an adjective rather than a noun-" nebula" is the proper form-and thus there is no specific definition for reference other than "cloudy," "lacking form," and "unidentified," according to the dictionary.

Exactly two months later, on October 7, Pat received a related communication while in a conscious state of mind, explaining the "Nebulous." A voice said, The Nebulous is a code; the code has been broken. Pat saw a whole Nebulous followed by a broken one. "I could see a jellylike stuff that connected the dots," she described. "I knew that the Nebulous was then something that was in our bodies when we were created. When we were created, we were supposed to have a perfect Nebulous. This gave us personal contact with our Creator. When the Nebulous was broken, by disobedience, we no longer had personal contact with the Creator. We had to adapt to living on our own, thus losing our innocence and pure state of being in human form."

This image reinforces Pat's altered understanding of God and a spiritual plan. Overall, her experiences with the alien entities have, to the best of her conscious recollection, felt very positive. With a strong religious faith, she has accepted them as angels.

"In my abductions," she has said, "I have never gotten a feeling of evil. In fact, I felt most protected while in the presence of the beings. Some people may say that the beings have the power to control what you feel and think at the time of the abduction, which they most certainly do. But I am hanging on to the childlike faith that Jesus tried to teach us and believe that what I felt was true and good. Why would an all-loving God allow little children to be abducted if the beings were evil and meant to do us harm? I don't believe God would allow it. Even so," Pat conceded, "there are things which the beings do that seem wrong to us and seem violent."

There has been one very disturbing experience, however, which occurred on July 24, 1993. It involved not only an alien entity but also what clearly appeared to be two human men and a human environment. In the early morning hours, Pat awoke in a very groggy condition, feeling as if she'd been drugged, and hearing a strange noise very near her, making staccato psss, pssss, psss, psss sounds.

Then she remembered. Two men had come into her bedroom, carried her outside and into a waiting vehicle, a large "military-type" truck. She was in a drugged state, merging in and out of consciousness as the truck took off and rode smoothly for forty-five minutes to an hour. In her brief lucid moments, Pat heard the men engaged in low conversation that she couldn't understand. She tried to speak up, but her tongue was thick and unwieldy. When the truck turned left onto a rough surface, Pat came awake again and in the dark night caught only a glimpse of the countryside out of the large, square front windshield.

The truck slowed down and finally stopped with the engine running. Through the window Pat saw they were parked next to a large mound or hillside. Incredibly, she saw a large doorway open outward, and the truck pulled inside, into the hill. The interior was very dimly lit, but as the vehicle stopped inside, Pat saw a strange being standing as if waiting for their arrival. The being was no more than three (eel tall, dressed in a black hooded cape.

Looking at the being groggily, Pat thought, What is an oriental girl doing here?

And immediately a telepathic message came back from the being, / know you don't like me.

No, Pat thought, no, I don't. I don't want to do this again. But they can't break me, because they couldn't do it before.

When the truck parked and she was assisted out, stepping a long way down from the high passenger compartment, Pat saw that the area was crowded and "dirty" feeling, with boxes and "junk" stacked along one wall. In the middle of the large room was a stainless steel table, more human-looking than the tables she remembered from alien encounters, and she felt very uneasy.

"They wanted me to get on it," she said, "but I didn't want to. Not that table." But she did get on it, although she didn't remember much about what may have happened. The "oriental girl" hovered around her, moving close and poking at her with some object Pat couldn't see. But she did see the entity's face close to hers, its skin a greenish-gray color. When the creature's eyes blinked and its lids met in the middle, Pat said the effect was repugnant, reminding her of a lizard.

Her next recollection was of getting down from the table and trying to see what the "oriental girl" was doing to her. The entity kept moving around Pat, much to her irritation, making an erratic psss, pssss, psss sound. Trying to support herself by holding to the table, she moved away from the entity, but it continued to poke at her. Pat was more alert but still unsteady, and as she circled the table she stubbed her toe painfully against it. Looking down at her foot, she noticed in surprise that the floor was covered with sawdust. God, she thought, this isn't even a real floor!

With a bit more awareness, Pat avoided the being as much as she could, feeling that whatever it was doing was a sort of "torment." Suddenly she blacked out, and when she came back to consciousness, in her bed, the psss, pssss was audible there beside her briefly.

Two days later, Pat noticed a slight bruise on her wrist, with a red dot or puncture inside it. And she also saw that one of her toenails was badly chipped, almost into the quick, as if it had forcefully struck something hard.

"I didn't like that situation at all," Pat told me, "and I knew that it wasn't the first time I had seen that 'oriental girl.' I've been on that table before, too," she added, remembering how uneasy it made her feel.

She knew that the greenish-skinned, lizard-eyed being was not human, even though the men, the truck, the travel, and the underground facility all certainly seemed to be.

"What kind of aliens," she wondered, "are involved with the government or military?"

Polly first contacted me in late 1992, before she even finished reading INTO THE FRINGE. "I am on page 176,"' her letter said, "and I had to stop to write you."

A passage discussing alien interest in human sexuality had struck a chord that resonated with some of her possible experiences. In the small town where she lived, Polly said, she couldn't find a good support system because the only UFO study group in the area had no women. She asked if I could put her in touch with other female abductees "for mutually beneficial correspondence." What she needed to discuss was too intimate for sharing with anyone other than another woman with similar experiences.

"I have been involved with the UFO phenomenon apparently all my life, and my children also are or have been involved," she wrote. "My father also has had experiences, but he is very careful whom he talks to about them, as he is respected as a technical person and is active still in [a military organization]."

Polly explained that she needed "a woman abductee buddy" because of the sexual nature of some of the events she had endured. "I have all my life been seriously traumatized, with the symptoms of a victim of long-term incest," she wrote, noting that her obsession with "fantasies of strange sexual abuse involving [unfamiliar] intrusive instruments" began when she was four years old.

And its consequences had deeply affected her adult life. "You stopped me short with your discussion of alien-instigated sexual obsessions," she continued. "I have since my teen years found myself every few years in a totally irrational sexually obsessive relationship, characterized by some intelligence talking to me in my mind, directing my actions, and apparently setting up bizarre coincidences to stage interactions."

For the most part, Polly noted, her personal relationships had not been obsessive. But having learned from experience that she could be externally manipulated in her sexual activities, she no longer sought out such involvements. "I now simply stay out of all relationships of a sexual nature," she told me. "The sexual and 'psychic' energy in [the last relationship] was intense to the point of being ridiculous, totally 'directed' and involved frequent telepathy and transference of feelings. I am in counseling for childhood incest, but there is only so far I can go with it, because I don't have a human incest background."

Polly's letter listed several UFO sightings and alien-encounter incidents in her family's experiences, and most of the details were familiar from my research with other abductees. The list included "interactions with 'Elves'; a creature that seemed to slosh through physical objects as if they were water; the usual zigzagging lights; lights that appeared outside my window every night at about the same time and watched me for several hours; maddening poltergeist activity; and many, many vivid 'abduction' dreams."

"I make no claim for them," Polly wrote, "but I know how they felt, a sense since young childhood that something was in my head to keep track of me, a squealing sound sort of in my head which seems associated with contact, and bedroom visitors which my dog, my son, and I all saw."

Polly had merely listed these events, but as a researcher I was interested in the details. I was also interested in the person who was trying to cope with this phenomenon. Replying to her letter, I asked for more information about her experiences and offered to be a good listener, both as an abductee and a woman. Although I had no recollection of any sexually oriented encounters myself, I had learned much from others who had been through such events. And my husband Casey, whose full account is related in INTO THE FRINGE, had himself experienced a sexual scenario with what appeared to be a hybrid alien female when he was a very young teen. Such events, I knew, were real in terms of their sensations and aftereffects, and any understanding of these scenarios would shed important light on the overall abduction agenda.

I explained these two concerns when I answered Polly's letter, and she agreed to share her information with me as part of my ongoing research. Through letters, phone calls, and taped discussions, I learned much about Polly and the things she and her children had experienced. A tall, fair, striking woman in her mid-forties, Polly's ethnic background is European, primarily Celtic, and Scandinavian. She is an excellent artist, but much of the time in supporting her family she has worked at rather physical jobs. Polly was born in 1946 in New Jersey and grew up in the Southeast. Widowed, she now lives with her children in the Adirondacks.

In addition to the various UFO sightings they had witnessed in this area, it soon became clear that her youngest son, Sam, was also having current alien encounters. In his taped communications and the drawings and reports to Polly which were shared with me, Sam showed unusual maturity and insight for an eleven-year-old.

Everything they told me came strictly from their conscious recollections which, concerning any given event, were very incomplete. Polly relegated some of her experiences to the "vivid dream" category, a common response of many abductees. The statement, "I make no claim for them," meant that she could not objectively verify these events as part of our "usual" reality. Some of them are similar to the virtual-reality scenario (VRS) dream discussed earlier, and some seem to have been simply the surfacing memories of actual events. Nonetheless, to Polly they were "experienced" events, and if they occurred strictly within a mental or psychic framework they still gave her every semblance of reality. The nature of that "reality" was often ambiguous, however, but there were some experiences she had verified as "real" because they had been multiply witnessed or perceived while she knew herself to be in a conscious state of mind.

These began very early in Polly's childhood. "When I was four years old," she told me, "I saw the skinny being who appeared in silhouette against my window shade. It was night, but a bright light, perhaps orangish in color, shone from the other side of the shade. The room was dark except for the illumination outside the shaded window. The being turned to approach me. When I get to this point in the memory, I start shaking my head and saying, 'No, no/ and then the memory stops. I tell myself if the memory comes over me again, I will get beyond this point and find out what happens next, but I never do."

This was also the age, probably not coincidentally, at which she began having the sexual fantasies of "intrusive unfamiliar instruments" used on her. Additionally she reported, "About age four, I had a sense of something having been put behind my left ear."

The next event possibly related to alien activity occurred around the age of fourteen: the onset of an obsession with understanding "the workings of the universe." She explained, "It was like I awakened to a sense of cosmic mission and to an apocalyptic sort of sense of human destiny. I felt I must understand the universe. It became a constant undercurrent of striving which persists even now." Given the reports of other abductees, some of which will be presented later, it was interesting that she related this "job and task on earth" to "Armageddon."

When she was in her late twenties, living in a different location, the next event took place. "Outside the cabin in the Blue Ridge Mountains," she said, "very loud stomping, like several men in work boots, suddenly began on our front porch after no sound of approach. We saw shadowy figures accompanying the very loud stomping. But I don't remember it stopping. I recollect we went to sleep in the midst of all this commotion, which of course makes no sense if we were lying only a few yards from prowlers. We awoke in the morning, remembered the stomping and shadowy figures, and went outside to hunt for footprints but found none."

In early 1987, however, Polly had a conscious look at her mysterious intruders. While sick in bed, she said, "I had a couple of bedroom visitations by two black-robed figures. They had large slanted, glowing, lemon-yellow eyes with no pupils, just like lights. The black-robed figures were about four feet tall. They were identical except that one was a little lighter, like charcoal gray instead of black. When they moved they did everything simultaneously to each other. They glided through my son's toy box when they left-the lower parts of their robes just went right through it."

Polly noted that this event occurred before she had ever seen the cover of Whitley Strieber's COMMUNION or any other representation of the typical Gray alien figures.

"Someone asked me if I had asked the figures what they wanted. My response was NO! I didn't want to give them any openers! My feeling was that they had come to take me permanently, and I devoted all my energy to rebuking them."

An extremely unusual series of events commenced in late 1987. "The whole thing started with a dream," Polly explained. "I dreamed I was flying over the Atlantic toward the Mediterranean. A white plane with red markings shaped like a small Concorde was approaching me from the opposite direction, the east.

"Shortly after this dream," Polly continued, "I noticed that I was having conversations in my head in French. This was most apt to happen around 4 p.m. My communicator identified himself as a professor in a Russian university. I had a sense of it being near Kiev. At night he would privately beam out psychic messages toward the West in an effort to expose a situation of psychic warfare which he claimed was being waged between political powers worldwide, and in an effort to help bring about peace between the then-USSR and the West.

"One thing I remember him saying very strongly was maintenant c'est la guerre, maintenant c'est la guerre, and he emphasized maintenant, telling me that psychic warfare was now being waged, directed to influence people in high positions and others who could serve the purposes of the perpetrators-perhaps obscure people who could nevertheless influence events and public opinion."

Her last contact with Evec was in December 1987 as she drove her son, through a snowstorm, to another town. The driving conditions took all her concentration, so she was startled when the French communication began.

"Evec was saying that he wanted me to join with him in prayer for world peace. So I tried praying in French, and that was a total disaster. I don't remember whose idea it was, but we decided to pray in Latin, and that went much better. I was saying things from the Mass in Latin, clearly seeing the snowy surroundings and driving competently, but just as clearly I began to see, like in some sort of parallel vision, the inside of a (probably Russian Orthodox) cathedral. There was a priest in a dark red robe with some kind of tall, funny hat. The interior was not ornate, but the ceiling was high and there was a lot of rich, polished wood. There was a choir consisting of both men and women. "I wish I had had a tape recorder in my head. The choir was singing the most magnificent mass I had ever heard. I could clearly distinguish that it was sometimes in eight-part harmony. It was all in Latin, and it was definitely not any mass that I have sung or heard. This went on for a long time, the whole rest of the ride. I don't recollect it ending, but we did arrive at our destination. This was the last time I ever heard from Evec. I had the feeling we had accomplished all we could together. He had not been seeking me-just 'broadcasting'-he was sending in general, and I happened to pick him up."

These two events in 1987, Polly's visitations by the black-robed beings and the recurrent telepathic conversations with Evec, marked the onset of what would prove to be frequent UFO and alien-related activities in her family's lives. It seemed to focus on Polly and her youngest child, Sam.

A few months after Evec's last communication, Sam had an encounter that paralleled Polly's experience with the black-robed beings. At age six, he saw "black figures flying about the room." Although they were similar to the beings Polly had witnessed, Sam described these characters as "smoke-like" with red eyes. They told him, Come with us, we'll take you to a better place.

But Sam wasn't convinced of their good intentions, and even though he was quite young he refused the offer. "No way," he replied, "I'm not going anywhere with you guys!"

After this incident both he and Polly had a number of experiences involving UFO sightings, mainly witnessed from a nearby hill, and a series of the "vivid dream" events that indicated repeated alien encounters.

"We've seen many UFOs with colored lights around them or shooting out from them," she said, reporting that it was "common to see white central lights flash amber, red, and blue."

This was also the onset of several experiences with what Polly and her family referred to as the "Elves." These beings, she said, "would squeak-talk very loud at night" and were extremely frightening to another of her children who also witnessed some of this activity during the most intense period of activity in 1989 and 1990.

Around this same time, in September 1989, Polly's family also had an experience with a different sort of creature. They perceived it as "sloshing" through solid matter, moving "through physical objects as if they were water." In spite of no clear confrontation with this being, Polly felt that it was "reptilian, huge and loud," making "crashing sounds in the woods like some very large two-legged creature lumbering through the woods in a very wet area. This sound had no approach and no departure," she said, "but there was the definite sense that the perpetrator of all this noise was approaching us. This occurred on a night which included a lot of UFO activity. We witnessed UFOs apparently pursued by fighter-reconnaisance at the air base."

Polly, Sam, and others in her family have had a number of UFO sightings, not only from the hill but also from other parts of the area. In June 1993, for instance, while Sam was traveling in a car driven by a family friend, he watched three UFOs cavort in the sky. "Sam saw three bright UFOs," Polly related. "A bright light suddenly appeared high above and a little ahead of them. It moved quickly downward, then disappeared as suddenly as it had appeared. Then a second appeared suddenly with no gradual approach, to the left of where the first one had, then zoomed across the sky to the right and disappeared." Shortly after this, the car turned onto another street, and Sam watched a third light appear suddenly. It flew a short distance and then went out of sight.

Within a matter of a few weeks, Sam had another sighting, this time of three UFOs together. And the following month, after yet another impressive sighting, Sam wrote me himself about what he'd seen on the night of August 19. "Last night was awesome for UFOs," his account began. "I saw one triangle-shaped one which made a whooshing sound for a long time. It looked like it might have been similar to the triangular one sighted in Belgium in 1988 or 1989. We saw it on TV. The one I saw was flying low....I had heard a whooshing noise first."

Another impressive sighting occurred on August 30, in the same area of the previous sighting. Sam said that this one was a large diamond or triangular shape with blinking lights on the front and rear. "It looked to be really high," he said, "but I could still see it good. I could see solid matter inside the light pattern" as the UFO arced across the sky.

Alien contacts continued to occur, usually recalled the morning after the event as both dream-like and yet real. "Sam told me of an abduction dream which he found frightening," Polly wrote in December 1992, "and this is unusual for him, as he is the only one of my children who seems to seek them and even to miss them. It included some interesting disclaimers to usual UFO accounts, such as 'there was gravity, I was not floating.' He said the interior was about ten feet by ten feet, rounded on the outside, but he felt inside there were some corners. He said it was 'spinning and wobbling' and throwing him around. He was frightened and recollected not wanting to enter the craft. He also recollected being able to see out a window of the craft part of the time and could see stars. He said he felt it was 'a blessing' that he was able, briefly, to see out."

Sam also said he sensed having had contact at some point with "bad aliens who are red, not gray," tacitly identifying the ones he had otherwise remembered as Grays, the same sort of figure so many other abductees have reported. Even more disturbing for Sam, however, was a dream he reported to Polly on the night of March 3,1993.

"Sam just took me aside," Polly wrote, "to tell me about a dream he had last night. He said, 'Can I talk to you in private? It's personal.' He has a partial memory of this dream, or else the dream itself was a fragment. He was with some people approaching the entrance to a UFO. He went through an entry way which led to a place that was all white, but he commented, 'You know how scientists say dogs are colorblind to our colors? I felt like maybe I was colorblind to their (ETs) colors and it wasn't really all white.'

"He said he was in a line with other people and the person in front of him was older than he. This young man proceeded into the craft and approached a long, white tube. He put his penis into the tube. After a little while he apparently withdrew it and left by some way other than the entrance. Sam was next. He did the same thing with the tube as the man before him had done, but his memory ends at this point. He felt this had something to do with the aliens wanting sperm. He said there was no sound and he did not see any aliens. He kept asking me for reassurance, saying, 'That was just a dream, right, Mom?'

"He does not read adult level books and I had never mentioned the sexual intrusions to him. It seems that just in the past year his experiences have become less agreeable to him. Previously he was the one of my children who seemed to feel a need and desire for 'them.' That is not completely gone, but certainly some intrusive elements have been introduced. Damn it, Karla, something is sexually molesting my eleven-year-old boy!"

After pondering on the situation a while, Polly commented, "I think the motive is not sperm gathering, but control. What affects the depths of the human psyche more than issues related to our sexuality? It is a perhaps unadmirable fact that sexual identity is probably the deepest, most primitive, most powerful identity concept that a human being has. Violate sexual identity in a situation where the human is made to believe that he/she is totally powerless, and you have gained a measure of control probably unattainable by any other single act."

Like Polly, I was concerned about Sam's discomfort with this scenario, and its implications. I was also fascinated by his statement that he had not seen any aliens in the experience. Later, Sam expanded this thought on a taped conversation he and Polly sent me. "In UFO dreams," he said, "after I've done what they make me do, they don't let me see them. It's like they make me want to do it, even though I don't want to. I see maybe them disguised as humans, or humans hypnotizing me. I'm not sure if they're humans."

Polly also had a number of abduction or UFO dream-events which felt extremely real to her and sometimes included human-looking figures. Many of the details, some of which will be described below, are amazingly similar to cases I've investigated and which other researchers and abductees have consistently reported. She also occasionally found typical marks on her body, although without any memory of getting them, including "IV-type bruises" on the bend of her arm and "bruises in a triangular pattern" on her upper arm.

Polly's abduction dreams became so frequent and realistic in their details as well as in their effects upon her that in 1991 she began keeping a journal of the dreams and of actual UFO sightings, from which the following excerpts are taken.

"August 31, 1991. I was with a group of people in a light colored room, and aliens were testing us for AIDS. I was found to have some strain of it, but they seemed to be communicating to me that it would not kill me or even seriously harm me. I don't know if this was because of something they did. Others had it as well-many of us were in the same situation. I think communication was telepathic.

"One thing that has characterized my UFO dreams has been an intense feeling of Wow, this is really This is the real thingl This is really happening. Typically I am out of doors and I see a UFO or UFOs in the sky. They land or one hovers above me. When I felt the dizzying sense of spiraling upward [in a previous event she had described], that one was different because I was conscious of being in my bed and being spun and sucked upward into a UFO. I think my mind was sucked out of my body."

Questioning the 'reality' of this dream about AIDS, Polly noted that she had in fact been diagnosed with lupus erythematosis, an auto-immune disorder, during her teen years.

"October 19, 1991. I remember a dream of a week or so ago which involved aliens. I recollect exiting a craft with them. I remember flying before we landed. There were other humans on board. Some of us went up front, but on the lower level the underside was clear-not glass but something thick yet perfectly clear. We could see down to a spread-out village below. It was daylight. The landscape below was fairly flat, maybe some low hills off to our left beyond the village. We landed, and I remember that I and others exited the craft with the aliens, whose form was like a very simplified human form-no muscle development evident. I think they may have had on form-fitting suits. They had no hair. I recollect something about some covering which had a seam near where an ear would be, but this is a vague memory. They were quite tall, not the four-foot type."

"October 23,1991. I dreamed I was holding a baby for the purpose of healing it. He was in a room at the end of a building that was like a nursery. None of the babies' parents were there. I think I dreamed of a lot of stuff happening in this building. I can still mentally see the face of the baby very clearly. I held it on two occasions. It was blond and blue-eyed, a little boy, and could hold himself erect when you picked him up. His eyes were crossed, one worse than the other, and as I held him he started to get a little better. When I held him the second time, he was strong enough that I could prop him on my hip.

"Then when he was wanting to nurse, I had this really weird thought, sort of apart from the dream, like standing off a little watching the dream. I thought, What if he isn't really a baby? What if he is really some midget pervert? I emphasized this last part because it indicates an awareness that we might be interacting with something less human and less innocent than it seemed."

"October 26, 1991. I was in some sort of medical situation in which my head was the object of attention. There were doctors around me. Before my head was the object of attention, I remember sitting up-something about my stomach hurting. I was sitting on something flat, and they were somehow making me travel very fast. I was afraid I would slide off the end and expected them to care, but somehow they did not seem to care. I remember when I sat up I said I could breathe better that way. Then they were going to put long needle-like things in the sides of my head, and I remember thinking in my dream, When the aliens do this it doesn't hurt; it is just pressure. Then I started saying over and over again, I'm in outer space, I'm in outer space, and they put the long needle things in, and I could sort of hear them going in, like a scraping sound, and feel pressure but no pain.

"The next thing I remember, I was like flying from west to east. I approached a four-corners intersection in the country. I felt like it was just west of [the hill where she and her family often witnessed UFO activity]. It was like they somehow landed me there, at that intersection, and the next thing I remember my eyes opened abruptly and I was in my room. When I woke up I kind of felt different than from a regular dream, like there was something more real about that experience." [It became even more realistic when, in the summer of 1993 Polly came upon that very intersection while out driving. It was a remote, unpopulated area west of the hill.]

"November 17,1991. Actual sighting, not a dream. Returning at night from the mountains which lie to the east of us, I saw a distant UFO. It changed color from red to white to red, etc., but was not a plane because it hopped around so much in all directions-quick movements."

"December 21, 1991. Had dream of sighting and being abducted by UFO. I was with some young man on a roadway on a hillside. I think there were big evergreens around, and down the hill a bit was an open field.... We went down to about the middle of the field and looked back up the hill. Soon the UFO appeared, larger and larger as it approached us. It glided low over the field and landed very close to us. My left arm was linked through the young man's right arm. I remember feeling, This is it-like this time it's really coming close. When it landed right near us, I said to the young man, 'Well, here we go!' Three beings came out of the UFO. They were human-looking, dressed in black or very dark colors, male, and surprisingly, taller than we were. I believe they took hold of us and began taking us to the craft, but it didn't feel real unfriendly. The three were pretty much identical. I don't remember faces. It was like they had one mind."

"January 30, 1992. Had a clear and detailed UFO sighting dream. It was daylight and I was looking east. I saw a UFO which was white and pale blue against blue sky. It hovered in one place for a long time while I and others viewed it. I remember looking at the portholes or windows. Then there was a scene where the UFO beings were among us and were taking all those who loved war and aggressive military attitudes and actions. They were taking even children. I was not among those taken. We were made to leave and we knew that the military-minded would suffer, and we felt really bad for them. I think a lot of the aliens were tall and close to human-looking, but also others were sort of like the Grays but I think lighter. I know some had big eyes."

"February 28, 1992. MAJOR UFO DREAM-felt very real. I was standing with another person or people-may have been first in my car, me driving. I saw them [UFOs] above and got out, pulling over to the left. I think there was one we saw very clearly and two others more distant. There were also planes up there, military looking planes. I remember feeling, This was so realistic. We waved our arms to draw attention, and the clearest one began coming nearer. I was thinking, They are going to take us; how am I going to deal with this? And then it was like the atmosphere of my mind changed. I was suddenly in a state of mind where I could handle this, not go into some kind of fear-shock at the absolute strangeness of it.

'The UFO was sort of grayish, not all lit, and some aliens approached us, also grayish. They were not human looking. I think there were three, but I especially focused on one who was either sort of leaning forward so that his head was more noticeable than any other part of him, or else I just noticed his head the most. I said something to the effect that we were really going with them, and in my altered state of mind I felt I could do it, but I knew I would be subjected to them in the craft. It was like I knew, but in my altered state, well, I can't turn back now, might as well accept it. After that I don't remember anything. I think I felt a little responsible, like I had involved the people with me in this and maybe it was not good for them. I had a slight bloody nose when I woke up, but think it was related to a cold."

"June 23, 1992. [Recounting an actual event that preceded the dream] my son Sam and I felt compelled to go up on the hill at 10:30 p.m. as there was a glow i n the sky which we felt must be from the sun, as it is not much after the longest day in this north country. When we got up there we felt intensely peaceful. Everything was very, very still, although there is often a wind up there when there is none anywhere else. There were a few fireflies. Then I saw a larger, brighter flash of light in the grass across the road from where we sat. I said to Sam, 'Nothing is really happening, but I feel like if we stay any longer it will.' I felt that if we continued to sit there with our minds focused, we would interact with some energy there and something would happen. I felt it had already begun to happen, but that we still had the option of breaking it off and leaving."

They returned home, and that night Polly had a UFO dream. "I was walking or otherwise traveling along a road at night," she described. "I first saw lights, then saw UFOs-round, a little bigger than stars, and not as bright as stars. They were up to my right, quite near the tops of the trees. I said, 'Wow! I'm really seeing them!' Then I looked up. There was one overhead which descended closer and closer to me. I could clearly see the round bottom part, like an opening. I said, with a little fear, 'Okay, take me.'

"At this point I felt a feeling of being lifted which was like no feeling I can adequately describe. It was like being sucked by force, a dizzying, blinding, overwhelming force. While it was happening I felt intensely that the experience was absolutely real, and in most dreams it never occurs to me to pass judgment on the reality of anything. I was sort of afraid, totally caught up in it (literally and figuratively), very aware of the sense that it was real, and feeling, Well, I'm in it now, so wherever I am going it is not under my control.' I couldn't see much, but 1 felt such an incredible feeling of being lifted higher and higher, like it took my mind.

"After the lifting I was aware of being in a white place, but it was not the standard 'round' white room of many UFO reports. I think it was white like white paint, and I recollect a corner, which is also not typical, and some sort of black or dark object. It was like I was seeing only one little part of this place.

"Another thing I recollect was being in some sort of craft and being behind the pilot, who sat on the left side, and noticing his head. It was hairless, apparently with a skull similar to ours, and the skin was white like putty. He turned toward me and appeared to have on some sort of clown mask, although it did not really look like our typical clowns. It had the color orange on it and was otherwise white like plastic. The feeling I got from this pilot was of a detached sort of kindness, not any malevolence but also nothing that could really be called emotion.

"I have some recollection of coming into a base or land while in this craft. It was light, like daylight (whereas I had been abducted in the dark of night). I could see a building, I think with a flat roof, and an outdoor area to my right of the building. I also vaguely recollect at some point desiring to see more clearly and 'them' doing something so that I could, and things came into better focus. In the outdoor area beside the building there were flowers and shrubs and children playing, human children.

'The pilot was still with me when I found myself inside the building. He said they call us something like 'the short round ones' and showed me models of humans between three and four feet tall. These models looked to be made out of hard plastic or something similar and were orange and white. I pointed out to the pilot that I was exactly his height (5'7"). He was thinner built than a human man, maybe a little lighter weight than I, though I am small-boned. A few other aliens were present, also.

"In this building were some human children. Now that I think about it in my waking state, maybe they call us 'the short round ones' because they have so many of our children. Our children, when healthy, are rounder than they. They appeared thin and lightweight, but it was hard to judge because they were clothed. I don't have a clear recollection of their clothing, I think light-colored jumpsuits.

"I felt I was not the only adult human there but that there were more human children present than human adults. Near me was a little blond-headed boy about three years old. I picked him up and held him, and he really seemed to like that. Then I said, 'Where is your mommy?' and he looked sad and didn't say anything. I got the strong feeling that the pilot who stood to my left and others of his kind very much disapproved of my asking that question. Then I noticed a little girl, also blonde. I feel she was eleven years old for some reason, though I think she was more the size of an average nine-year-old. I asked her if she was the boy's sister, and she said no. I had the feeling they had no kin people with them. The little girl also seemed sad, and I remember feeling grateful that 'they' hadn't taken my children from me, but I was sad about these children and the many others.

'There was a big window arched at the end to my right. Outside the window was a little play yard. A dark-haired human woman was tending a group of human children. I felt she was no kin to them, except that they were all human. I did not see the other adults whom I felt were there somewhere.

"I recollect that there was a process of returning me, but I don't remember it in any detail now. I felt that the experience within the piloted craft seemed 'staged' somehow for the benefit of my belief system, but the intense lifting feeling felt somehow necessary and real."

"January 24,1993. Three nights in a row I have had dreams including UFOs, a craft, and beings. The next night in actual awake reality, I watched UFO activity in the sky, two luminous fiery balls a little bigger than basketballs."

One of Polly's most vivid and recent dream-events she reported to me at length in a letter, complete with drawings of the creatures she remembered seeing.

"On the night of June 27 (1993)," she wrote, "I had dreams which included vivid visual impressions of aliens and appearances of very bright, very real-feeling lights. The aliens did not look like what I would have depicted if you had said, 'Draw a typical alien.' The characteristics were a pronounced browridge, convolutions or folds on the forehead and beside the eyes, eyes back under shelter of the brow-ridge, and gray or gray-green skin. They were proportionately tall and thin. There were at least three and I am pretty sure more, standing closer together than I have drawn them. I am not sure about my depictions of nose and mouth, but nose and mouth were somehow represented. I'm also not sure about details of the lower body.

"I remember being utterly fascinated with their brow folds and the folds beside their black eyes, but not looking directly into those eyes. Also with the texture of their fairly tough skin, which was sort of like an artist's kneaded eraser. I have a recollection of having been very close to the one on your left [in drawing], so close that my face was right up by the right-hand side of the face, looking closely at those folds. Then I recollect being back a little further from them seeing the group standing together, but I don't know what happened first.

"I felt as I awakened that what I retained were two fragments of a much more detailed experience, as if I had sort of mentally photographed those two segments to 'bring back' as souvenirs-yes, it was almost as if they posed for these memories! That is why I could get so close to that one without having to become engulfed by his eyes, and it is why they stood so obligingly in that little group!"

Polly and Sam reported these and a number of other experiences for almost a year, many of which seemed to be reflections or memories of fairly current experiences. And once she felt more comfortable with our relationship, she was able to address the sexual issue and share the painful memories from her childhood.

'The area of my psychology which I feel has been most damaged by 'them' or by some very early influence," she confided, "is the area of my sexual concepts. At approximately age four, I became obsessed with sadomasochistic sexual imagery. The images involved a little girl on a flat table similar to a doctor's exam table, but I think it may have been metallic looking, silver metallic, a little grayer than actual silver. I remember being obsessed with these images day in and day out, and I would try to detach from them by saying that the little girl was not me, but yet at the same time I knew it was.

"Sometimes there would be one 'person' doing things to the little girl and sometimes several. There were generally those who observed. I had the sense of both males and females present. Occasionally a female would do a procedure, but more often a male."

There were machines involved, as well as probes and needles. 'The intrusions involved what I now understand to be the genital area, but I did not understand at the time, as well as the rectum. Also, I do recollect needles to the navel, and this now makes sense when I read adult women's accounts of intrusions through the navel. My sense of the 'people,' if it ever was clear, is now indistinct. My early medical history does not include anything like this.

"One thing I did which could have been a cry for help and an attempt to resolve this situation was that I drew pictures of 