Each generation is more and more accepting of different people, and that's great. But one group still lags pretty far behind: mine. I'm a dwarf. And to confuse people even more, my wife is full-sized and so are my kids. I'm the only one who gets the "sitting on phone books" joke, which would be fine if that gag weren't more tired than Sleeping Beauty. There are way too many misconceptions about what life is like when you're small, and since you can't go ask Alice because she sold out and turned 10 feet tall, I'm here to educate instead. Here are a few things to keep in mind the next time you meet a dwarf outside of an MMORPG.

5 Our Boners Are Just as Big as Yours (and Look Way Cooler)

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On paper, the idea that we dwarfs have got teeny-weeny weenies makes sense. After all, every other part of us is tiny. But no, we're just as stacked as any of you, and in some lucky cases, even more so. See, my form of dwarfism is called achondroplasia (the most common type, actually), and it involves a lot of the cartilage in my body failing to do what the Good Lord intended it to do -- become bone. So my kind and I wind up with short arms, short legs, stubby fingers and toes, and a fun-size version of anything else that contains actual bone. This is also why dwarfs typically have a pot belly, no matter how much our CrossFit trainer screams at us. Our ribs simply can't hold our lungs and whatever else Dr. House says is in there, so everything just spills out.

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When we blame it on bone size, it's not just an excuse.

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Boners, funnily enough, contain no bone. A penis is simply a bunch of tissue, and a dwarf's body has no problem growing tissue. This results in a dick that, quite frankly, looks just like any other. Our average size is five to six inches, just like taller guys. Only difference is, ours are on small frames and thus look way more impressive.

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On top of being just plain better at sex moves, ladies.

Plus, the surprise factor when somebody sees it for the first time without knowing what to expect never gets old. Just ask my wife, past girlfriends, or the poor NSA intern who's no doubt watched me undress by now. God did his best to make amends: "Hey, yeah, sorry about messing up your bones and dealing you a lifetime of repeatedly explaining that no, you do not want a Happy Meal. Here, have an optical illusion that makes your dick look giant. Better?"

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Yes, actually. Much.