Some Stuff:

Oh boy. Here we go.Do you guys ever wish we could spend a full hour with our beloved characters having a relaxing evening? Maybe a board game night, or a birthday celebration, or a tupperware party? No?ME EITHER.We’re here for the shit, and that’s what The 100 is delivering. Is it frustrating as all hell? Of course it is, why would I even ask that! It is SO DAMN frustrating to see our Goddess Raven going through what is clearly a very unpleasant time, and being sucked into the douchbaggary of Jaha. It is also very frustrating to see Bellamy sucked into the (and I can’t believe I’m about to say this) even BIGGER douchbaggary of Pike.Yes, folks. Pike has become unlikable. I could relate when he was misguided. I could commiserate when he was just a dude who had only known jerk Grounders. I could even hope for a sexy, intense, grumpy romance with Indra. But now, Pike, you have gone too far, sir!But like I said, we’re here for the shit. It would be a terrible sign if these things didn’t frustrate us. It would be boring as heck if a show about dark themes didn’t make us angry. We’re connected to these characters. We love them (is it too soon for the L word? I don’t know about this stuff - I haven’t dated since my past life - I was a cobbler, things got weird). We’ve spent two seasons building a relationship with them. I think the writers have earned the right to throw us for some loopty-loops. And ooooohhhh boy have these loops been loopty!Let’s be real for a sec (and then go back to being cartoons, I guess?), what is the point of television? Is it to entertain? To educate? To bring awareness of social issues and present a mirror to society and be all, “yo dudes, if you think THIS is wrong, what do you think about what’s happening in the world around you?” Is it all of the above? YES OF COURSE IT IS, WHY DO I KEEP ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS. It’s all of the above, guys. I’d say as far as The 100 goes, check, check, and check, with a side of delicious violence.So let’s get ready to be so DAMN FRUSTRATED, and dive right in!Lexa and Clarke were discussing how awesome it is that Clarke gets to go home triumphant, after Lexa basically solved all the problems. Man, everything really worked out, didn’t it?The episode opened on the aftermath of the dreaded fight, which was a stellar move, narratively. The troops returned home, and Pike gave a rousing speech that went something like, “I effed everything up, you’re welcome.”Then Lexa and Clarke stumbled upon a very smelly field of their slaughtered compatriots.Clarke was all, “don’t worry, babe, I’m the star, I’ll take care of it,” and they asked Indra to radio Kane.If this whole debacle negatively affects the bestfriendship of Kane and Indra, I will be more upset than that time I thought I had ice cream and forgot I already ate it.Kane got the message and asked Octavia to go, who scampered off looking VERY happy to have something to do besides looking emo. Meanwhile, at another staff meeting:Pike was all, “let’s kill a bunch of innocent people in a peaceful village”, and Bellamy was like, “what are you, possessed by the ghost of bonkers Finn?” and Pike was like, “I wasn’t here for season 2, I don’t get the reference,” and Bellamy pouted and was all, “you’d laugh if you got it.”Bellamy has not always had the best luck when it comes to picking his bros. Perhaps Pike isn’t the best choice this time around. Kane and Lincoln pointed that out to him, but it didn’t go well.Then look who sauntered up to the gates of Ark Camp.The competition for who could be more vague was still on! And it had heated up! Emori’s crimester pal (who is her BROTHER? Who knew that? Did anyone know that? Didn’t he put a knife to her throat? Man, Grounder family dynamics are weird), was shot and killed, because the sky people are jerks now.EVERYTHING about Abby’s face during this scene was screaming “yikes”, but I’m not sure if it’s because of Jaha’s crazyville ramblings, the fact that he smiled after his friend died, or because of his stupid half-goatee.Then, in the GREATEST THING TO EVER HAPPEN…YESSSSSSSSSSSS.Pike was cool with Jaha being a wacka-doo as long as he didn’t interfere with Pike’s plans for mass murder. Sounds fair to me! Then Pike decided the sick Grounders they offered help to needed to be “interned”.I don’t care what your past is, who you’ve seen killed, or who stole your greek yogurt from the communal fridge, holding a gun to a sick woman’s head while sending her to prison is a deal breaker. I’m sorry Pike, but you don’t deserve Indra anymore. Go suck an egg.Speaking of sucking an egg…UUUUGHGHGHGHGHGHGHHGHGHGHHGHGHGHHGHGHGHGHHGHGHGHHGHGHGHHGHGHGHHGHGHGHGHGHHGHGHG here’s the thing. You all know how I feel about Jaha, and his bananas messiah complex. During this whole scene I actually screamed several things at my television that can’t be repeated in polite company. Among them was, “NOT MY PRECIOUS RAVEN!”Howwwwwwwwwwever, if anyone is going to be sucked into Jaha’s douchy orbit, it’s going to be the person who has lost the most. Yes, Jasper is currently sobbing into his Adele pillow, but he’s still physically the same. Raven has lost everyone, along with some physical ability, and what she perceives to be her usefulness. It makes sense she would be the one Jaha would target.I guess what I’m saying is, FINE, SHOW, we’ll see where this goes.Because Octavia is a wily little woodland nymph, she was able to get to the gals at Massacre Point, and get Clarke back to Ark Camp without being caught.Bellamy was NOT loving this reunion, and for the first time since season 1, he and Clarke were on opposite sides. Now, I ship everyone. I’m basically yelling “KISS KISS KISS!” any time two people with charisma are on the screen, but this time was different. This time I was yelling “Make decisions together! Make decisions together! Make d…” you get the point. These two are always better together than apart, and their leadership abilities compliment each other. The fact that Bellamy was too hurt by Clarke’s departure last season to listen to her side was very telling about where he’s at emotionally.I still don’t buy the speed with which he turned into THIS Bellamy, but after getting a glimpse into his emotional state this week, I’m more inclined to roll with it.Jaha left her the Matrix Mind Palace cracker anyway. UGH. FINE.Emori wanted to go find her brother (again, really? He’s her brother? Okay, show), but the Beautiful Creepster was like, “naw, that’s dumb”, and Emori was all, “okaaayyyyy”.The Beautiful Creepster was caught! But these gentlemen saw the Mind Palace Wafer and were like, “my precious!” so now he’s being taken to Lexa. Right? Is it Lexa? Are we going to get an Octavia / Clarke / Beautiful Creepster reunion? Is it weird how much I want that? I want it so bad, you guys.Clarke and Octavia TAZED Bellamy and scampered off with the help of Kane and Abby. “Kane and Abby”... don’t you just love the way that rolls of the tongue? *sigh* ANYWAY, they made it back to Massacre Point, sans a certain Pike-shaped blood sacrifice.One might say, ‘hey, Lexa’s decision to be chill is something good to come out of this episode! Everything is working out, after all! I bet this will turn out fine.” Except this is The 100, you guys! Nothing’s ever fine! This is obviously the beginning of the end of Lexa’s rule. I mean, c’mon. Are the Grounders really going to stand for PEACE? No way, Jose. They hate peace almost as much as I hate anything that’s not dipped in chocolate.Anyway, then Raven swallowed the Matrix Mind Palace Cookie, and things got weird.Well, at least now we get to see the City of Light through a perspective other than Jaha. Right? RIGHT? That’s a positive to our beloved Raven getting sucked into Jaha’s bonkers orbit. I mean, so far everyone BUT Jaha who has been seen in the City of Light is dead, so that has me anxious. But if we’re honest, I’m always anxious when watching this show, because The 100 tears out our emotions and laughs while stomping on them with steel toed boots, and we LOVE THEM FOR IT.Look, what I’m saying is, don’t kill Raven. Okay? Glad we had this talk.Well, what did you guys think?? This was mostly a set-up episode for things to come, placing all the pieces to strategically knock them down. It’s the equivalent of shuffling your feet against the carpet to create a static charge and shock your friend because they keep talking during your show. The 100 is shuffling their feet against the carpet right now, and I am both afraid and excited for the static shock to come.-- Kane and Abby are such a team. Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!-- There is little more disturbing than the distinct sound of flies around dead bodies.-- Abby: “And the others? You left with twelve people.” Jaha: *shrug*-- Is Jasper still at the drop ship rolling around in Finn’s ashes?-- Miller threw some fake sass to Lincoln about the first time they met, which was when he and Bellamy tortured him. Oh, the good old days. Man, I love Miller. More Miller, please!-- If you were presented with a matrix chip that tasted of black licorice, would you eat it, or would you be like, "thanks, I don't really miss walking."-- Have you ever donned a half goatee? For real, I need to know what your thought process was behind that. What happened in your life to lead you to that moment, and how did you overcome it?