I’ve been working as an information security professional for too long. When I started my career I was young, handsome, blond and over 180cm. And now, I’ve become short, stocky, cynical and I hate everyone with a passion. Just look at my over dramatic profile picture and you’d see how far I’ve progressed.

During my years in the industry I’ve seen it go through various cycles. I’ve been called IT Security, I’ve been called the IT Police, I’ve been called the “Oh look it’s that guy hide your porn files delete your MP3 server” (seriously, I’ve been hearing that joke for 15 years now, you need to refresh your repertoire). In fact, during my military service there were only two people on the base that have been referred to by their job title: “The Sergeant Major” (the guy who ensures you shine your shoes) and “The OpSec Officer” (the guy who ensures you hide your porn collection).

Things got better as the industry progressed and I’ve got the ominous title of “Information Security”, signifying that I’m now allowed to look for your porn collection not just within information systems but also in your paperwork, whiteboards, lockers, kitchenettes, and your first ever Nokia brick mobile phones (and don’t we all miss them).

I’ve continued my porn-seeking career for several more years without disruption. And then it happened. The security industry turned into the Black Album.

If you’re a Metallica fan, you remember when Metallica stopped being the band that sings songs that sounded like “ROAR RIDE THE LIGHTNING DIE DIE DIE” (disclaimer: I exaggerate. Also, I happen to like Metallica) and only people that had long hair and torn jeans used to listen to them. It was when the Black Album came out, and all of a sudden “Enter Sandman” becomes the number one hit on everyone’s billboard. Metallica quickly became the mainstream heavy (or former?) heavy metal band. It was a good move for the mainstream music listeners, it was a definitely a good move for Metallica’s bank account, it was not so good for the boys with the long hair and the torn jeans (and personally I think it marked the decline of Metallica as a “proper” heavy metal band, but I digress).