All the typings and observations in this post are based on definitions and information presented in the aLBoP Guided Tour 😀 So if any of it bugs you, please go read that before leaving me a grumpy comment… Or, you know what? Let’s just skip the grumpy comments! Have a nice day! <3

ESFJ

The Cavalry

“No one dressed by me ever looks like an idiot.”

Alice Cullen, The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn novel

The ESFJ Cavalry is the paragon of group experience, intent on ensuring that all involved have the best experience, and that they personally get to experience the group. They shine as the bright beacon of action-example, a lighthouse of what to be and do. Open, warm, in-the-moment and upfront, the Cavalry is a perfect blend of party and poise; an ongoing paradox of sensible bounce, colorful pragmatism, and gentle snark. To any group they choose to share their love with, the ESFJ Cavalry brings a fantastic *pop!*

Young ESFJs, centered on their family, teachers, etc. as their “culture” and group, love to be obedient, very happy to experience life with the people they love. Happy to do what makes others happy, an ESFJ may even look EP from the outside; bubbly and happily going-with-the-flow with those they care about. But even young ESFJs are very aware of how their actions affect consequences in the form of what others think of them, and the pull to follow friends, fads and culture comes young for a little ESFJ. So the ESFJ has three choices, the most commonly chosen being a combination of the first two choices (the same is true of most types), since the third choice is in opposition to the other two.

ESFJs love to be and set the example for their group. Though that desire isn’t intrinsically a bad thing, it’s that desire to set the standard of what is the *most normal* that provides all three of their choices.

ESFJs’ first option is to focus on being the *most* normal 🙂 An ESFJ taking this first path will desire to be *more* normal than others, to the point of finding themselves of more *worth* than others. An ESFJ who gets more intent on having the crowd follow them, than on the people in the crowd, can end up self-centered and entitled, and yet constantly in need of the approval of others. In the end, people following the lead of this first-path ESFJ will be short-lived, either because they’ll end up disliking the ESFJs’ self-centered attitude, or because they’ll want followers of their own and tear the ESFJ down at the first sign of weakness. In either case, this ESFJ will end up without real friends or real meaning in their lives.

ESFJs’ second option is to focus on being the most *normal* (emphasis important). An ESFJ who gets caught up in pleasing their group or culture, be it friends, family or faction, will find it all too easy to start sacrificing who they really are in the name of being liked. Especially in a culture that wants nothing more than looking on the surface at the expense of anything real, an ESFJ can quickly fall into a pattern of trying to look like their culture’s picture of perfect, while neglecting anything real or genuine, encouraging others to do the same.

Both these first options leave the ESFJ feeling fake, shallow and in constant need of approval to feel valid, becoming just an insincere shell who has to suppress their real, magnificent self in order to look like what others want them to be.

But when an ESFJ instead redefines “normal”–when they defy the crappy parts of culture, even defying their friends if need be, stand up and say, “Being real is the new cool!”–an ESFJ becomes a powerful example and influence for good in the world, showing others how to be heroic, meaningful and happy, leading the charge and making life matter, making their own culture instead of following someone else’s. This is the ESFJ Cavalry.

Though their interests may vary, the ESFJ Cavalry, always aware of the desires and needs of others, is often found in fiction as the perfect host or hostess, super-mom, or as an ahead-of-the-crowd trendsetter. They combine the parentalness of the ENFJ Veteran, the force of will of the ESTJ Cannon and the bouncy color of the ESFP Morale Officer into a bright, warm, headstrong package. They’re excellent at bringing together fun, savoir-faire and precision to help everyone have a great experience. With an Extraverted people-awareness to help them understand the needs and desires of others, a Sensor strength of being aware of the moment as they’re in it, an EFJ focus on the meaning behind actions, and a Judger talent for plans to put it all into motion, the ESFJ Cavalry is fantastic at making things memorable, seeing that everyone is taken care of, and that nobody is left out.

With the tendency to bowl ahead and a main weakness in data and conclusions, and yet with an earnest desire to be taken seriously, all EJs have different fears centered around, “No one will listen to me because I’m too ______.” For the ENFJ Veteran (because I failed to mention it in their post), it’s a fear that, “My good intentions and trying to change people’s lives will never matter because I’m too nice, soft, etc.” They inaccurately fear that they’re too weak to effect change… and so they feel like bad choices won’t matter either, so Faramir Dilemma seems to them to be about friends rather than consequences.

Similarly, the ESFJ Cavalry fears that, “I’ll never be truly smart, or anything above mediocre, so normal is the best I can hope for.” They inaccurately fear that there is no reason to try to be anything more than the best at being average, not realizing that they bring special things to the table of heroism, and that they don’t have to think like other types in order to be a unique type of brilliant.

While the Cavalry is great at planning, they tend to prefer the day-to-day and in-the-moment plans as they relate to people, rather than worrying about the world as a whole, like an IJ does. They’re happy to help shepherd their group to wherever they’re going, but they tend to care more about the progress and methods used to meet goals rather than the long-term goals themselves. Whether it’s help looking **fabulous**, following protocol, making spinach puffs or sharing a “cuppa,” a healthy ESFJ is usually there at the ready with their own special way of helping their friends to shine at their best.

An ESFJ turns villainous when they no longer care about how their actions hurt people or when they don’t care that the group or culture they uphold is damaging people right in front of them. The Dark Cavalry can demonstrate as a self-centered d-bag with cronies or fans, or some variation of a Stepford Smiler–be it a creepy housewife variety, an evil celebrity, or a cheerfully humming robot you’d be willing waste your precious shotgun ammo on, even when you’ve been using it on zombie-like aberrations (no, of course I’m not referring to anyone in particular…). All just twisted versions of the Cavalry’s innate strengths of warm sociality.

How can an ESFJ be sure they’re doing it right, being the example of what to do and not what *not* to do? By being real. By not pretending everything is okay when it’s not, by caring about people even when they’re not following the plan, by being genuine, even when things aren’t perfect. That’s how the ESFJ Cavalry can be sure to be the shining star of experience, rather than a hollow shell of vanity.

Cavalry or Dark Cavalry, a strong ESFJ is sure to be a powerful influence in the lives of others, compellingly and charismatically setting the standard of culture.

Examples:

Male: Link Larkin, Hairspray

Female: Rarity, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic

Villain: Draco Malfoy, Harry Potter

Who are the Type Heroes? Read the intro here, and stay tuned to meet them all!

Want more information on ESFJ, the Cavalry? Read their Cognitive Orientation Guidebook here.