Dear Jane Doe

Hello, I don’t know if you’ll ever see this, but I hope you do. I wrote this as part of a blog that I published a few days ago, detailing how I also was sexually assaulted, and the effect that both the assault itself and the victim-blaming I faced after the assault had on me:

Please don’t listen to the people who tell you that you’re to blame for what happened to you. You should have been safe. Someone should have stood up for you, covered you up, and made sure that you got somewhere where no one would force sexual contact on you. Someone should have protected you when you were unable to protect yourself. You did not in any way deserve what happened; the most that should have happened is awakening with a horrible hangover and being grounded until you turn 30 when your parents found out you were drinking illegally. I hope that you’re able to trust again. I hope that you’re able to understand that not all boys will ever do to you what was done that night, and that the “boys” who did force themselves on you are scumbags, because only scumbags would take advantage of a person who is unconscious and unable to consent to sexual contact.

I’m sorry for what you’ve had to endure. I know how painful it is. But above all, know this: You are strong, and you will get through this. You aren’t alone, and there are millions of people out there who only know you as Jane Doe who would love nothing more than to hug you, wipe away your tears, and tell you that you are loved and admired for standing up to injustice. Please don’t stop. Be brave, and know that there are millions supporting you. And I’ll tell you the same thing that my therapist told me: You aren’t a victim, you are a survivor. And don’t you ever forget it or let anyone tell you otherwise.

The full blog is here:

http://aseekersmusings.wordpress.com/2013/03/19/dear-jane-doe/