My problem with radical softness as a weapon is that is operates on this bizarre axis of judging how “masculine” emotional responses and interactions are as to how they’re rewarded, and tries to suggest emotional distance/ withholding feelings in women is rewarded because it’s a “masculine trait.” Nothing works like. No emotional responses in women are rewarded. It doesn’t work on an axis how “masculine” your emotional responses are it works on an axis of “how does your response protect men, serve men, coddle them, put their needs before your own” and THAT is how you’re rewarded. It’s not about being cold and distant.