Want the top news headlines sent to your inbox daily? Sign up to our FREE newsletter below Subscribe Thank you for subscribing We have more newsletters Show me See our privacy notice Invalid Email

As any regular users of public transport on Tyneside will know, it's not unusual to overhear some pretty bizarre things on your Metro journeys.

We asked readers to share their funny stories and tell us about the strangest things experienced on the Metro - whether it was a conversation they couldn't help but overhear or they were unfortunate enough to find themselves in the midst of some particularly odd behaviour.

The clip above shows 24-year-old James Farrier of Newcastle practising his Michael Jackson moves on the Metro. He said: "I dance everywhere and I like a bit of Michael Jackson! We had been to a party and we were on our way home the next morning."

Here are the best of the stories we have been sent so far. We've also included some of the wonderful Metro experiences that North Easterners have shared via the @Metro_Manners Twitter account, as well as tales told by co-workers here at ChronicleLive.

Karen McParlin: "This is me and my then six-year-old daughter ...

Her: What station are we at now?

Me: Hebburn

Her: Oh.... isn't that where the dead people go?"

: "Sitting outside The Lonsdale pub in Jesmond one day, I watched 20 students carry various items of furniture onto a Metro - all back for more within half an hour! Using the Metro to move house is one of the funniest things I've seen."

Fiona Alexander: "A old man with a big white beard running to get on the metro in rush hour at south Gosforth and the driver saying over the tannoy nice one Captain Birdseye whole carriage giving him a round of applause."

Cat Rowney: "On a Saturday afternoon travelling towards the coast, two girls planning their night out: 'Are you going to have some of that posh prosciutto wine tonight?' Ten years later and my husband still laughs about the ham flavoured wine."

Louise Fielding: "9.30pm on my way to work at South Gosforth a few years ago a lot of cyclists boarded the train at Jesmond. The driver said sorry, no bikes allowed on train. He then said 'what do you think this is the Tour de France?' Passengers were in stiches."

Audrey Moore: "When Haymarket was closed for refurbishment years ago the driver gave his announcement about not stopping there and going straight through to Monument.

"He then very politely said 'and for those of you with headphones on - you haven't a clue what's going on'. The whole train erupted laughing."

: "I once saw a man having a full-on beard shave!"

James Kane: "I always remember two young lasses saying just before Christmas they were going to Edinburgh for mahogany - meaning Hogmanay!"

Peter Allan: "About three years ago, pulled into Byker station. Driver over the tannoy: "This is Byker, there's Metro inspectors here so please have your tickets, passes or best running shoes at the ready please." Made me chuckle."

Shane Donnelly: "A friend and I had a superhero themed 18th birthday party (this was nine years ago). As the Metro pulled up at West Jesmond there were quite a few of us dressed as superheroes, so after we got on the driver told the train: "The next station is Gotham City."

Martin Young of Newcastle: Overheard on the Metro from South Hylton to the city centre. Two female teenagers, presumably travelling to the Sunderland Illuminations:

“Are you going on the Ferris Wheel?”

“No, I don’t like Ferris Wheels; and I don’t like circles.”

Video Loading Video Unavailable Click to play Tap to play The video will start in 8 Cancel Play now

Sarah Walton, Pelaw: "Me and an old woman (80+) were both travelling from Newcastle to Pelaw. After standing near to each other at the platform we sat next to each other on the Metro and started talking. When we were approaching Gateshead Stadium I seen her eyes close and our conversation stopped... There was inspectors. They came around checked all our tickets, except this sleepy old woman's, then they got off at Heworth. We left Heworth platform and the woman opened her eyes, winked at me and said, 'not bad, eh?' "





Leoni Fitzharris: "A child got on the Metro once and screamed with excitement at going on a train for the first time, he made so much noise that the driver came over the tannoy and said: "I wish I was that excited driving one" hahaha."

Michael Hall: "When getting off the Metro my missus heard "stand clear of the doors please" to which she replied, "ee it's the same driver as this morning!""

Carl Wilkinson: "Years ago the Rocky Horror show was on at the Empire. Loads of passengers were dressed for the occasion. When approaching Sunderland, the driver said: "The next station is Sunderland, once the train comes to a stop, it's just a jump to the left and then a step to the right.""

Andy Morris: "On the way to a Newcastle match during the Bobby Robson era and Sunderland were the early kick off and the Metro driver announced: "To all those Newcastle fans travelling, Sunderland are losing 1-0" to which there was a huge roar of approval and a chorus of "He loves the Toon."

Stephen Robinson: "I got on at Central and the train was packed so I had to stand. I saw this bald guy with the most incredible mullet so I tried to take a photo as we entered the darkness of the tunnel. My flash went off, everyone saw and the guy obviously saw it as well. Had to pretend my phone was malfunctioning for 25 minutes."

Neil Newton: "Coming up to the tunnel between Simonside and Tyne Dock stations: "Ladies and gentlemen, we are about to go through a tunnel. Those of you who are afraid of the dark, please shut your eyes.""

Adam Holland: "When you're heading towards Tynemouth Station yet the electronic heads up thing says: "Next station is Byker." Erm no it's not."

Peter Foggo @jarrowPete: "One teenager to another: "Why do they have inventors these days? Everything has been invented!""

Kevin Johnson @kevinmjjohnson: ""The next station is Kingston Park, or as the local young 'uns call it, the Kinky." I lived there as a "local young 'un" for 20 years and never once heard it referred to as that."

But talking of kinky. Suzzybob emailed to say: "My daughter was travelling home from college when she overheard an elderly man say to the woman sitting next to him "can't wait to get you home and into those handcuffs" she said they looked to be in their 80s. Needless to say she came home feeling a little sick as she was only 16 at the time."

Chris Henderson: "Two kids got on with mini scooters, Metro driver said over the speakers: "You will never pull lasses riding kids' scooters like that".

Thomas Johnston: "I once watched a woman eating a whole rotisserie chicken from the bag on the platform at Monument. It was like Attenborough. Absolutely incredible."

Marie Rogers: "A dude left his guitar on the platform and the driver was like, "Has somebody left a guitar on the platform?"

Jasmine Choy: "We were approaching Central Station and the driver said over the tannoy: "The next station is Central Station, where the big trains are. Change here for the big trains.""

Joanne Graham: "I once was hungover and running late for uni and ran towards the train just as the doors were closing. Stupidly, I was thinking I'd have enough time, but the doors closed on me repeatedly, slamming into my chest and head. Panicking, I quickly got on the Metro and casually sat down next to some friends whilst everyone on the carriage stared at me! My friends luckily hadn't seen, or they'd have laughed!"

Joe McKeough: "Going into Newcastle for the match and heard the announcer say: "All passengers who have bought 'rejurn turney' tickets...""

Claire Henderson: "One morning going to work on Metro and I was getting off at Monument station and a driver I knew said over the tannoy: "Have a lovely day at work Clare." My face was as red as a letter box."

L-j Linsdell: "Years ago we got on Metro and a friend tried to take his bike on and it went: "Stand clear of the doors please. Get ya bike off the train please son." 20 years later and we still find it hilarious and I dunno why."

June Scott: "One very windy day the driver warned us as we were approaching Whitley Bay station to be careful as the tide was high and due to high winds the platforms were in danger of flooding. Made me giggle but the looks on some faces."

Kennedy Langford: "When I hit a bee on the window with a rolled up newspaper and the lad with headphones in and looking down at his mobile thought I was trying to hit him."

Sean Hunter: "I was once on a train that had stopped at Ilford Road. As the doors were closing, this old woman came absolutely flying down the ramp. She got caught in the doors and a few people went and helped her. Then the driver came on the tannoy and said: "Can the old lady who just vaulted down the platform please leave the train or you will be removed. Thank you." Thought it was pretty harsh, yet still funny."

Mykal James Blenkhorn: "Was going from Kingston Park to Byker and trains were delayed because of signal failure, decided I'd wait 'til driver knew what was going on and he came over the tannoy: "Don't know how long we are going to be here, update you as soon as possible". I decided to walk instead. Got all the way to South Gosforth and a train pulls into the station and I get on it to several people giving me funny looks and pointing at me. Didn't realise why until the driver came over the tannoy again: "As you can see it it's sometimes quicker to walk." I'd got on the same train I'd got off at Kingston Park."

Lucy Gallagher: "It was not long after the automated voices were introduced to say what stop you were at. Kept saying the wrong one and the driver said: "The next station is actually Jesmond, apologies as this Metro appears to be a little drunk.""

Amanda Voase: "The driver announcing Kevin Keegan had left NUFC for the second time. And then repeating it in case we missed it the first time."

Chloe Renwick: "Once arrived at Jesmond apparently right on time, the driver alerted us. He sounded ecstatic bless him (I think he was as shocked as us) and everyone gave him a round of applause and cheered."

Karen Mclaughlin: "The announcement that signals had failed and a request that all passengers sit down or hold hand rails as the manoeuvre is dangerous and Metro can derail at any time. The looks on people's faces were amazing. The relief when he says all was OK and thanked everyone for their cooperation. All I could hear was sighs of relief and could see little smiles on some people. Scary at the time but funny after the fact."

Claire Cherry: "I was coming home from work one day and saw a middle aged man strip down to his duds and change from his work gear into casual clothes. He even had a squirt of aftershave and couldn't have cared less that the train was packed."

Karen Ratcliffe: "My favourite was the driver who said that the train before us had failed and the passengers were going to get on at Felling so we'd "best breathe in" as we were going to "make new friends"."

Pauline Raffle: "I got onto a very busy Metro at Gateshead one morning and the driver announced: "If we all breathe in just a little bit more we could get a couple more on.""

Abigail Lawson: "I once got on the Metro at Central Station having been into town with friends, I collected a box of cupcakes for my family on the way home and got onto the Metro. Had just sat down when the driver announced: "Can the girl with the box of eggs get off the Metro or discard of the eggs please? Eggs are not allowed on Metros." (Did he think I was planning on egging people at platforms? Who knows). Of course I didn't realise he was talking about me and my box of cupcakes, so he repeated his plea at least 8 times as the train sat still with the doors still open. When I realised passengers were looking to me and then my box of cupcakes, I decided to take a chance and open the box, walk to the camera and hold up a cupcake. Immediately the doors shut and the Metro took off as if nothing happened! Mortifying but the cupcakes were definitely worth the embarrassment."

Kayleigh Roberts: "I once ran for the Metro and bought a ticket and the Metro waited, to which the driver announced: "I'm such a nice person"."

Thomas Lamport: "I once got on a Metro to find three old men with flat caps looking like they had just crawled out of a mine. Singing, playing a harmonica and leg slapping. The Metro was quite busy and pretty much everyone was singing along. I didn't get off for another 4 stops after my destination just to join in."

Graeme emailed to say: "I was standing on the coast-bound platform at Monument when a bunch of lads dressed as women arrived on the platform, obviously worse for wear one had a big yukka plant (obviously borrowed from a local establishment) shoved down the front of his underpants and out of his pink skirt. This was funny enough but to hear the tannoy go off and a man say "could the woman on platform 4 please keep her vegetables in order" was hilarious."

Rosie Moorhouse @rosiexx_ "Someone sneezed super loud on the Metro and the driver said 'bless you' through the loud speaker."

Metro Manners @Metro_Manners "School trip on Metro. Collective "oooo" as train lurched, like they were on a rollercoaster."

Jasmine Burn @JasmineEBurn: "Just witnessed a random old man on the Metro give a girl a strawberry. Hilarious seeing her panic and just accept it, holding it like a bomb."

Laura Graham: "The best one has to be a woman telling her friend how she had tried a garlic dip called areola. Well, I just burst out laughing, as did her friend, and we both said, "I doubt you have been eating that, do you mean alioli?""

Steggan Hanson: "I was returning home from lectures at Sunderland University and a young lass was holding onto the pole in the middle of the carriage just walking around it going faster and faster. The driver came over the tannoy with "and will the pole dancer please sit down". Luckily the carriage wasn't that full but she went bright red, got off at the next station and seemed to wait for the next Metro."

Kara Walker: "My all time favourite 'overheard on the Metro' situation was while waiting to board a train with a friend at Manors. A young couple were arguing and he called her something insulting. She replied 'I've never slept with anyone else since I've been with you...you can ask me mam!' To this day, it reduces us to hysterics remembering it."

Joan Burke: "Few years ago one of the trains had a rap version of "Stand clear of the doors". Really funny for three or four stations. Hell if you had a long journey."

Nathan Lake: "I once seen a guy I went to school with ask his girlfriend to marry him on the Metro but she was so embarrassed she ran off at the next stop. I heard he rode the Metro to Sunderland and back twice to think it through."

Emma Cragg @ekcragg "Overheard on the Metro: "Lots of people wear glasses, it doesn't mean they've done anything wrong." Reassuring words for all glasses wearers."

Ceeb @Ceeb22 "Listen lass, please stop talking about dieting and being overweight, that's the 7th hobnob I've seen you eat."

Lee Cox @leecox_ "Voiceover woman on the Metro has gone a bit mad and she's reciting all the stations like the numbers from Lost."

Kathryn Beeson: "Entire platform-wide discussion over the suitability of 'Beefy' and 'Porky' as names for two sausage dogs on Monument Platform 3."

Penny Jackson @pennyj54 "Nearly knocked out by the blast of aftershave when I got on the Metro! Seriously you don't need to bathe in it."

Jen: Overheard the following snippet of heated conversation conducted in broad Geordie accents between two teenage girls.

Girl 1 (visibly distraught): Whatever it was, it was brown and had spikes on its back.

Girl 2 (confused): A hedgehog?

Girl 1 (anxiety rising): A Hedge WHAT?!

Karen of Kingston Park overheard this intriguing remark: "If they hadn't clamped it so hard in the first place they wouldn't have had all that bother..." but she could hear no more!

Kevin McAuley: "An older couple (circa mid 70s) sitting opposite me were chatting about a family that one lived opposite them in Low Fell. A lady behind must have overheard them and said she was now the mother in law of the once neighbours' young son.

"The couple were enjoying their chat so much they decided to miss their stop and continue the conversation. As I got off I chuckled to myself and thought of the Metro being a meeting place."

Jennifer Lee: Mother and toddler having a conversation.

Child: Mummy I need the toilet.

Mum: Fine darling, we get off at the next stop.

Child: I don't think I can wait.

Mum: Yes you can, you're a big boy now.

Child: No-oh-oh-oh I'm deeeesperate.

Mum: *poor woman desperate for this Metro to pull into Tynemouth* We're here!

Child: Can I play football with that Coke can?

Mum: *Breathes a sigh of relief/ simultaneously remembers why there is always wine in the fridge*

Toni Hargis: "Just before the Metro, I got on to a bus which was apparently running very late. Sat opposite two old ladies who were complaining about it. #1 - These buses are always running late. #2 - Eeh yes. It's terrible if ya gannin anywhere!"

said: "A child asked his mum what the next station was. She replied "Manors" to which he then said "please mummy, will you tell me what the next station is. Thank you mummy."

Ray Avery: "This summer one of the carriages of the Metro was blocked off because the air con wasn't working, cue this conversation:

Woman: "Why can't we go on the other carriages, it's packed?!"

Metro worker: "Sorry, the air con is broken so it's about 40 degrees in there!"

Woman: "40 degrees?! Let me in there, I'll get a belter tan in that heat!"

David McCulloch: "A few years ago I was traveling from Shiremoor to Haymarket on a very rainy Saturday. On getting into West Jesmond the Metro door buzzer went just as an old gentleman was getting on. He had his arm trapped in the door as the Metro was pulling away and he was shouting out and the Metro stopped. He got on, then started to shake the rain off his umbrella as the doors closed, chopping the umbrella in half! The whole carriage broke out laughing."