[For years we’ve been blessed by having Chuck and Pants from What’s Up Ya Sieve? writing Beard Watch. Unlike us, they have lives outside of hockey, and have retired from the beard watching business (for now). We can't thank them enough for their years of fluency in the art of follicle following.]

We were faced with an existential question: How are we to conduct a ‘Beard Watch’ when beards are so hot right now?

The St. Louis Blues Twitter account said as much after a tussle between David Backes and Joe Thornton that saw the Blues captain give Jumbo Joe a tug on the beard.

Players are notoriously superstitious. While they may not say it outright, the idea of them shaving off their season-long beards to start the playoffs could be panic inducing.

Inspired by a tweet from Chris Peters of CBS Sports, we decided to take a different angle this time, and look to American history to help us do it:

Dearest Annabelle, I write of victory on the battlefield. The volleys were overwhelming, but our resolve was strong pic.twitter.com/zyGEnmfYlB — Chris Peters (@chrismpeters) May 10, 2016

With only American teams making the playoffs, it's feels fitting we go back and look at the United States' Civil War, and compare a bunch of Canadians to the facial hair of those from the past.

Most commanders were rocking some sort of facial hair as they lead their troops into battle, so naturally, we can see why teams in the playoffs would adopt this behavior. Take a look at the distribution of the various hair types from a study in Proceedings of the Natural Institute of Science (or PNIS...):

View photos Via PNIS.co More

Perhaps we've uncovered the true secret of winning the Stanley Cup based on this graphic. If a team wants to win, they have the most facial hair, as the Union commanders did above.

Up first...

Joe Thornton and an Unknown Soldier

View photos Getty Images | Library of Congress More

Perhaps this unknown soldier made his way up to Canada at some point in time because these two look like they could be related, facial hair wise, right down to the skunk stripe in the middle of their beard. Thornton even has the little curls at the top of his beard.