Hey Jessie. You are entitled to feel how you feel. 14 is a tough age to be, because it's bad enough coping with teenage puberty without any other emotional problems to handle. Hate is a negative emotion, so it's best to try and avoid it, otherwise it can wear you down, like a nagging pain that won't go away. Your mom is just following what feels right for her, just like any other free minded individual. We are all born with the instincts that steer us towards what we find sexually and emotionally attractive, something which maybe you will understand as you get older.

Meanwhile, perhaps you need to look at the situation from a different aspect. Your mom obviously has an ideal in her mind of what she wants for you all, but she has failed to involve your take on that. She is also wrong not to tell you about your biological dad. These two things could change your perspective and help you accept that for now, this is how your family unit will be. So speak to her about that, if necessary show her your question here and the responses. That may help her realise there is your side of the story to consider as well.

And also consider that whilst you are not happy about all of this, your mom is there trying to provide for you and do her best. Maybe she is not getting it totally right, but who does? At least you have a mom that loves you. Many teenagers and youngsters have no family unit, no mom and dad and no father figure. Guess now you are seeing something about life that if you handle it right, will make you a stronger and more level headed person when you have relationships of your own.

You can sort this out, just love your mom as you do it.