Canadian music producer Deadmau5 has reportedly become involved in a major Twitter beef with his own reflection.

Deadmau5, real name Joel Zimmerman, is believed to have instigated the feud after he caught a glimpse of his reflection on the screen of his MacBook Pro during the routine trolling of an eleven year old child.

“I was just hanging out at home, taking some spot-faced eleven year old, who thinks tamagotchis are better than Pokemon, down a notch or two, just a standard Monday in the mau5 hole,” explained Zimmerman earlier. “Then, all of a sudden, I seen this really ugly, skinny dude with stupid neck tattoos appear on my Twitter feed. I’m not gonna let that kind of thing happen in my own home, so I really let the guy have it.”

“I was on fire. The insults were flowing like cheap gin at breakfast in Lindsay Lohan’s house. I was DJ Sneaking this guy’s ass, taking my Twitter beef game to a whole new level,” continued Zimmerman, a veteran of Twitter beefs involving Skrillex, Laidback Luke and Zedd. “I was getting really personal with some of my insults, saying things like ‘you look like a cornflake’ or ‘nice eyebrows loser’. I really brought my A-game to this one.”

“I get so emotionally involved in my Twitter beefs that I didn’t even notice that the guy I had seen was actually just my own reflection,” admitted the producer. “It was only when my mom brought me in my Alphabeti Spaghetti for lunch and pointed out that I had been Tweeting myself that I realised. I got really upset. I never knew insults could be so insulting. Some of the things I had said to myself were very harsh and really brought about some home truths.”

“I cried for hours, cyber bullying hurts so bad. I’ll never troll anyone ever again, even if they say something I disagree with or wear a t-shirt that I think is stupid. I’m a changed man. This mau5 feels alive for the first time in years. From now on I’m spreading nothing but positivity on Twitter and if you don’t like it, you can eat a dick.”