A new friendship grew out of Louise’s work with Scam Haters. Every Sunday, she speaks on the phone with an American woman, another romance scam victim like her. “She’s never told anybody about what happened to her, but she’s told me all about it,” Louise says. “It’s very helpful to talk to other women.”

Today, Vanessa says she is at peace. She claims that her losing this money might be part of God’s plans for her. “The money didn’t really belong to me,” she says, insisting that what happened was a sign that God decided to give it to someone else.

What’s more, provinces and territories have resources in place to help victims of all types of crimes, including psychological or legal help. “Victims have to go through the legal process to have access to those services. The case doesn’t necessarily need to lead to charges or arrests. All victims have the right to these services,” Sgt. Larocque says.

However, Sgt. Larocque insists that victims should report any scam to their local police force. The RCMP and the CAC use these reports to gather information and to allocate the necessary resources to carry out investigations.

Ruth Grover also tries to temper victims’ expectations. “A lot of the victims are thinking, ‘Let’s get him arrested and throw out the key.’ They have to understand that that will often not happen,” she concedes. “They have to come to grips with the fact that they probably can’t get their money back, that they probably can’t get the scammer arrested. The best they can do is try to feel better about themselves.”

Sgt. Larocque admits that those responsible are often very difficult to catch. They are frequently overseas, where Canadian authorities have no jurisdiction. Countries like the Ivory Coast and Nigeria are notorious hotbeds of this type of scheme. “Once in a while, we’ll catch one of these individuals, but often, those we catch are only the tip of the iceberg,” he says.

Susie reported her case to police in South Carolina, but she has no idea how the investigation is going. She tried confronting the man pretending to be Howard, but he disappeared. She decided to admit everything to her husband.

“He already sort of knew when I told him. I asked him if he wanted me to leave, and he said he didn’t. We’ve been together 50 years,” she says. “I thank goodness my husband forgave me. We’re doing okay, but... you know.” She skips a beat. “I’ve got a good husband. He’s not the most loving husband in the world, but he is a good man.”

Only two people in this article have met face to face. Ruth Grover and Marie Lavery have been working together for two years, but they’ve never met. Same with Louise and her new friend. It was only after a year of collaborating virtually that Kathy Waters and Bryan Denny finally sat down for a face to face meeting, shortly before they met with Facebook. It remains the only time they’ve been in the same room.

Susie dreams of one day speaking – in the flesh, eye to eye – with another victim of a romance scam. “I want to sit down with her and talk to her about all of this,” she admits. She’s still looking for a conversation partner.

What would she like to get out of such a conversation? “I don’t know. At least I could show her that she’s not the only one who’s been through this. I could tell her how… to tell you the truth, I never thought I would end up here.”

And her husband? “He’s not a talker,” she says. “He’s never been a talker.”

Meanwhile, Susie has started putting the pieces of her life back together. She hasn’t been able to completely forget Howard, even if she knows he was fake.

“I got rid of all his text messages, but I haven’t got rid of his pictures. I ain’t got to that point yet.... But they’re not him anyway. They were just the pictures he told me were him,” she says. “I’m just not ready to let go of that yet.”

At the other end of the line, she pauses, then continues.

“I don’t look at them nearly as much as I used to.”