Three thousand years and still we face scary ghosts in the dark and make offerings to them. Except now our ghosts are children in scary costumes – minus the pumpkins and ladybugs. It all started in Ireland with the Pagan celebration of “Samhain” on October 31, which, under the pressure of Christianity, turned into “All Saints Day Eve” that is “All Hallows’ Eve” and then finally into “Halloween”. It happened right after the harvest was brought in, when the Irish Celts were about to face the scary Winter season. Who was to die and who was to live? At no time was the uncertainty of life so apparent as during the dark and cold months ahead. The Celts believed that on Samhain the spirits of the deceased crossed easily over to our world, possibly wanting to play cruel tricks on them while hovering in their homes.

Human imagination is most vivid when it is dark and inhospitable. Ghost stories were shared to entertain each other, but also to relieve them of their lonesome images of death and dying. From a psychological point of view, one’s fears were projected out and onto the creatures of the otherworld. In doing so, the Celts were not ridding themselves of their fears, but instead coping with them within their communities. Bonfires, public sacrifices, prayers by Druids for the Celts, and the sharing of meals and other traditions allowed everybody to admit to their fears and to manage them together.

This public display of and working with fears was, in my opinion, a bit like group in which people reveal, express and interpret experiences. This is still the case for our children who remain in touch with the eeriness of Halloween. Playfully and, hopefully, age-appropriately, they process their feelings within their families and neighborhoods. For adults, however, this is no longer the case. We – or at least most of us -- no longer believe in ghosts. The dark season has lost its mystery as light bulbs, full refrigerators in warm houses, as well as scientific explanations offer comforting solutions. Adults are supposed to be resolved. But are we?

As you might guess, I don’t think so. While we are more contained and better informed, we are still haunted by ghosts. They are not dressed up like ferries and the walking dead but are ever so intangible, inexplicable and disembodied. We are just as haunted by our anxieties, caused by the unpredictability of life and the cold, modern world that does not satisfy our hunger for community and love. And just like three thousand years ago, we are still profoundly troubled by a reality that just won’t quit, a reality that is ever-present and lurking in the dark of our mind, namely the reality of death. Where are the rituals that help us cope with these, our science-resisting ghosts?

In lieu of dealing with our frightening reality, we prefer to consume (stuff and food); intoxicate ( and ); medicate (psychotropic ); desensitize (with horror movies, video games, haunted houses); scapegoat (preferably minorities); and flat-out deny (“I am fine”, “We are fine”, “Earth is fine”). None of these strategies work well. Indeed, we are more than ever. Plus addicted.

There is something to be said for the old, Germanic ideal of building up courage. Sometimes it’s very helpful to desensitize. I too like haunted houses, semi-scary movies and make-belief risks. There is also something to be said for buying good clothes and consuming good food. It is enjoyable to dress and eat well. But as a person passionate about authentic and complete peace, I warn against overinvesting into anything. I call for moderation, which is called the Middle Path in Buddhism. I also encourage people to focus on their relationships. It is of the utmost importance to invest in our communities, our friends and partners; all fears and existential anxiety become manageable in the divine “in-between.” For this, one needs to be able to create connections, an art that is rarely taught. Therefore, I introduce ten building blocks in the Connection Chapter of “A Unified Theory of Happiness”. It is never too late to learn how to relate, but relate we must. Ghosts won’t kill anybody, but loneliness does. All of us need each other. We need to share our real fears of death and dying as well as our more subtle existential anxiety.

Halloween is a fun holiday. I know I will enjoy it. But let us also remember why Halloween still strikes a chord in us until this very day. There is a bit of a Celtic heart beating in our chest. We all need people and a bright fire to cope with the ghosts we create in the dark corners of our minds.

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© 2018 Andrea F. Polard, PsyD. All Rights Reserved.