I just thought I’d share this in case other people can relate.

Before I found tumblr or had heard the word “demisexual”, I just thought I was weird. I had never had “crushes” on anyone I knew, and I never really thought about it unless someone asked me. My friends didn’t seem to believe that I didn’t have a crush, so they’d ask me who I thought was cute. Before I knew better, I’d say, “Oh, I guess X is cute” because I thought he was, but then my friends thought I had a crush on X even though I didn’t at all. This led to a lot of awkward conversations where I learned that if I thought someone was attractive, I was supposed to have a crush on them.

I’ve always seen some people as attractive; I’m just not attracted to them. The only person whom I’ve ever been sexually attracted to is my current boyfriend, who I was friends with for a year before the thought of being more than that even occurred to me.

While I’m now comfortable with my sexuality and the label I’ve chosen, people have called me out on how I’m not “really” demisexual because I see people as attractive even if I don’t know them well. But in my mind there is a big difference between “wow he’s hot” and “I want him to fuck me against a table”, and this difference doesn’t seem to exist in “normal” sexual people.

For anyone out there whose sexuality is somewhat like mine, don’t worry! You’re not “weird” and you’re not lying when you say you’re demisexual. There’s a reason it’s called a spectrum– you can fall anywhere on it and still be normal. Go by the label you think fits best, and don’t worry what other people say. It’s not their choice.

(And thanks for creating this community where I feel comfortable telling people this; I know that I won’t be judged or called out on for being who I am.)