Labour moderates to use United Airline crew to unseat Jeremy Corbyn as leader

Moderates within the Labour party desperate to remove Jeremy Corbyn as leader are to send a United Airline crew to Labour HQ in Brewer’s Green to unseat him in no uncertain terms.

The efficiency with which the United Airlines flight crew deal with anyone who doesn’t leave when they’re told to, has become famous after a video of them dragging a doctor from a United Airlines flight went viral.

“Well, we’ve tried a vote of no confidence, we’ve tried a leadership election, we’ve tried dressing up as ghosts and telling him that his office is haunted, we’ve pretty much tried everything,” said one of the Labour moderates who wished to remain anonymous.

“I think our last chance is to use some good, old-fashioned United Airline customer service on him.

“I mean, the guy on the plane was 69 years old, and they were able to remove him in a couple of minutes, Jeremy’s in his late sixties too so they should have no problem in unseating him with extreme prejudice in a few seconds.”

“It’ll be brilliant.”

Since removing of the passenger went viral, the United Airlines flight crew have found themselves in high demand, with Boris Johnson, Arsene Wenger, and the man who changed the Cadbury cream egg recipe all scheduled to be paid a visit by the flight crew.