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With nuptials threatening families into bankruptcy, Mumbai’s landholding Agri community trims guest list, does away with bar menu.I know of a man from my community who sold off vast tracts of land to fund an extravagant wedding and is now struggling to cough up finances to even provide for his wife and family,” says Sanjay Bhoir, a 38-year-old resident of Kansaigaon in Ambernath, Thane district.The irony of the situation has finally hit home. For the last few months, some members of the Agri community - to which Bhoir belongs - are trying to persuade others to cut their infamously extravagant weddings down in size.While no one is ready to discuss numbers, most estimate that a modest Agri wedding would cost no less than Rs 30 lakh. The more elaborate ones see families spend as much as Rs 1 crore for a three day celebration.The Agris of Maharashtra, who along with the Kolis can lay claim to the ‘sons of the soil’ tag, are a community of farmers and land holders. Large settlements in Navi Mumbai and Thane have come up on land once owned by Agris, whose main settlements are found in Mumbai, Raigad and Thane district. In the last 30 years, rapid urbanisation has seen several members of the community sell their farmlands, to live from the sales. Some take up road contracts or supply building material to construction sites. And weddings have become a natural platform to show off the easily-acquired wealth.“It is nothing but sheer waste of money,” says Balaram Patil, a prominent member of the Agri community from Panvel, where around two dozen villages are dominated by the Agris.“Sakharpuda,” he adds, “for instance, is meant to be a modest engagement ceremony where a marriage is formalised. Now, it’s almost as big as the main wedding function. At a minimum, the guest list extends to 500. Calculate the cost of food and drinks for just that one event.”Patil breaks down the threeday celebrations around the average Agri wedding. On the first day is the Talan, a small ceremony restricted to the families of the bride and groom. While this isn’t extravagant, the Haldi ceremony held the next day makes up.Saying it’s nothing short of ‘debauchery’, Patil estimates that at a minimum, the guest list extends to 1,000. During the ceremony, the bride’s family sends haldi (turmeric) for the groom.Once the groom has been smeared with it, the remaining haldi is returned to the bride and applied on her, marking the tradition of the bride eating ushta or leftovers from her husband. “This is supposed to be a small celebration. But, in our community, relatives, every member of the village, even neighbouring villages, are invited. The day-long festivity,” adds Patil, “includes alcohol for every guest, and meat. And this celebration is hosted by both, the bride and groom simultaneously.” What he means is that the 1,000-member guest list is just for one party.Wedding invites aren’t printed cards that are home delivered but hoardings that call all and sundry to join in. This is not taking into account relatives who live in other parts of the state or country.A case in point is the wedding of Bala Mhatre, 36, four years ago. Mhatre, an Ambernath resident, asked Santosh Chaudhari, popularly known as Dadus - a performer who flavours celebrations with Agri music - and his orchestra to perform during the Haldi ceremony. While the band performs, alcohol flows and the meat order runs into tonnes.A minimum of two meat dishes are a must. And, while the hosts spend lavishly, even the guests are known to shower performers with cash. Social norms mandate that the main wedding ceremony, held a day later, is equally grand.“Often, families spend as much as others even if they can’t afford to. Some of us questioned the complete waste of our hard earned money, and land passed on through generations sold casually to fund a party,” explains Patil.It’s not merely a question of money. With alcohol flowing freely, quarrels over petty issues - Bhoir recalls a ‘who-gets-thelast-piece-of-meat’ brawl - are common, as are drunken driving accidents resulting in serious injuries or deaths.Initially, when community elders discussed the issue with villagers around Panvel, they faced stiff resistance. They then roped in the Varkari Samaj (a religious sect which does not consume alcohol or meat, and leads a frugal life) to hammer in reason.“They were able to convince people that the extravagance was only forcing us into vicious debt cycles. Community members were taking loans to host elaborate weddings and later, spending their entire lives repaying them,” adds Patil.The attitude shift has begun to show. In the last few weeks, the Panvel villages have even passed resolutions in various Gram Sabhas requesting that celebrations stay modest.Notices and hoardings, with orders from the Gram Panchayat, state the diktat. The guest list for Sakharpuda should not extend 25. It is 50 for Haldi. Alcohol and meat have been banned. But the main wedding celebration doesn’t carry restrictions on the guest list.Other Agri community pockets have followed suit. While there are no formal orders issued in Ambernath, Badlapur, Kulgaon and other parts of Thane district, celebrations are already being toned down. “The weddings that have taken place in the last few weeks have been quiet. Deep down, people are only happy to follow the example set by villages around Panvel,” says Bhoir.Patil adds that the first to welcome the orders were those who couldn’t afford the extravagance but had to meet community ‘standards’. Now, celebrity presence is also frowned upon.Patil says, “We have decided that no prominent member of the community will attend an ostentatious celebration. This will serve as a dampener for those who want to flaunt. It’s a good beginning.”Celebrations at Bala Mhatre’s wedding held in Ambernath four years ago. Earlier, expenses for an Agri community wedding ranged from Rs 30 lakh to Rs 1 crore. Showering the band with cash was commonOn January 16, community leaders addressed a meeting at a village near Panvel, discussing new norms for community weddings. While the main wedding celebration has no restriction on the guest list, alcohol remains a strict noDowry is frowned upon in the community, even though it’s common for the two families to exchange giftsAfter the community elders issued a diktat, the pre-wedding ceremonies have had shorter guest-lists, and meat and alcohol have been taken off the menuHoardings have been put up across Panvel’s villages, with permission from the Gram Panchayat, to announce that the pre-wedding Sakharpuda and Haldi ceremonies should either not be held or scaled down