A new Brewers team will take the field when they begin their second homestand against the Cubs at Miller Park on April 5. Except it’s not just the improved squad that will look different in Milwaukee.

Brewers CEO Mark Attanasio announced today that the team will be changing its name, becoming the Milwaukee Insurers.

Flanked by American Family Insurance CEO Jack Salzwedel, he said the team will also adopt an official slogan, "All your protection under one retractable roof."

The name change follows the acquisition of the stadium’s naming rights by AmFam. Salzwedel also announced that beginning in 2022, Miller Field will become American Family Fields at the Billy Jo Robidouxome, named in honor of the Brewers first baseman who played for the team from 1985 to '88.

Said Attanasio, who quietly cancelled his Geico insurance policy this winter, "While we recognize the Brewers’ legacy in Milwaukee, this city is now known more for its excellent drivers and comprehensive umbrella policies. Recognizing the Milwaukee Insurers, well, ensures the future of this proud franchise and gives our small-market team a chance to compete."

Indeed, the Brewers came just one game away from the World Series in 2018, despite being the smallest market in baseball. The Insurers will benefit from an increased payroll, a new name for The 7th Inning Stretch called The 7th Inning Short-Term Disability Stretch and a replacement of Budweiser as the team’s official beer.

"We figure that fans will either get wasted on rice-packed Bud Light, rendering them unable to care whether the team wins or loses; or they will opt not to drink our yellow swill water and become better, more sober fans," Anheuser-Busch CEO João Mauricio Giffoni de Castro Neves also said at the news conference in the new Willy Loman Interview Room.

Other changes to the new team and its promotions include a replacement of Bernie Brewer with Archie Adjustor. His leftfield chalet will be replaced with a garage, and when the Insurers hit a home run, he will slide down his "driveway" into a parked car. They will add a female mascot, too, aptly named Polly-Cee, the Act-u-aRee.

In keeping with American Family’s corporate identity, the team’s colors will change. Home uniforms will be primarily red, with blue and white accents. When away, the team will sport "money green."

The Insurers will also replace several popular promotions throughout the season. Instead of giving away bobbleheads, they will host "Pen Night" on July 21. Free AmFam notepads will be on the docket for Aug. 25.

"This obviously makes sense for Milwaukee," said Ryan Braun, the 35-year-old injury-plagued outfielder who signed a 20-year, $300 million contract extension on Monday. "Beer and baseball don’t mix. Insurance policies are obviously sensible, and I hope that I can follow in the footsteps of my former friend, Aaron Rodgers, and star in some lucrative and funny TV commercials for AmFam, obviously."

Fans’ opinions on the name change appear to be mixed.

"I’m not sure the new team name makes a ton of sense," said 21-year-old Rick Stenciel, drinking a Pabst at Major Goolsby’s. "However, I’ve never seen any Pirates in Pittsburgh or anyone wearing red socks in Boston. I don't even know what a Dodger is, at least in terms of baseball. So I guess I support anything that brings Milwaukee a World Series trophy."

Lisa Ginter, 56, from Antigo, disagreed. "When I found out that the Bud Selig would build Miller Park with taxpayer money, I vowed never to go to another Brewers game. I counted, and that monstrosity cost me over $8 in sales tax over all these years. I’m not interested in the Insurers."

"Go Pack," she added.

In other news, Jerry Augustine, a Brewers analyst and American Family Insurance agent, will also take over Brewers radio play-by-play duties from Bob Uecker, when he retires from the booth in 2039 at the age of 105.