It has been a trying, unrelenting week for the 19 Labour MPs who voted for Boris Johnson’s Brexit bill on Tuesday. Since the vote, they have been accused of facilitating Brexit, handing the Tories a boost before a potential election and driving Remain voters into the arms of the Liberal Democrats. Some have faced open hostility from members of their own party. One MP had to break off an interview as tears filled their eyes when describing the pressure placed on them and their families.

Interviews with the MPs reveal a group desperately battling to find a route through the Brexit impasse, having found themselves at the sharp end of the most fraught political debate since the second world war.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Jim Fitzpatrick MP says he has been called a traitor. Photograph: Alamy

“Some of the stuff that some colleagues have had has been just horrendous,” says Jim Fitzpatrick, the veteran London MP who voted for the bill. “There were people in the chamber last Saturday in tears because of the dilemma between what they were being asked to do by the party, the whips, their constituents and what they believed in. Everybody feels it, and we don’t expect any sympathy because it’s the job.”

It is a sign of the pressures that some of the MPs did not wish to speak, while others asked not to be named. What united most was the conclusion that, despite the costs involved, their constituents remained clear that they wanted them to honour the referendum result and they had to find a compromise.

“I campaigned door to door during the referendum, trying to convince them to vote Remain,” says Ruth Smeeth, the Stoke-on-Trent North MP. “I did that, which is really important to me. I went and made the argument. There is a hilarious video on the Guardian website of me going door to door, begging people to vote Remain. I chose my safest ward, hoping that would be helpful. It was not. I had every local employer, MPs, unions – everyone was on the same page. We couldn’t convince people.

“It’s about understanding who you represent and why. I stood on a manifesto to respect the result. I said I would deliver Brexit in a way that protects my constituency as much as possible.”

Melanie Onn, the Great Grimsby MP, reached a similar conclusion that people know the risks of Brexit. “In 2016, part of the Labour Remain campaign did set these things out,” she says. “I know I shared that information with people. They plumped for something else. People are telling me that it is a trade-off they are prepared to risk in order to get a sense of self-determination and empowerment.”

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Gloria De Piero: ‘I had incredibly high Leave votes in my council estates.’ Photograph: Alan Keith Beastall/Alamy

Gloria De Piero, the MP for Ashfield, says she was taking a “commonsense position” that followed the Labour policy of battling for an acceptable deal. “I had incredibly high Leave votes in my council estates. I remember one man very clearly, about 65, saying: ‘I’ve never, ever voted in my life’. I think he was a telephone engineer, from memory. Now, I’m sorry, but these are the people I came into politics to represent. They are the people who Labour exists for.”

Fitzpatrick is in a different situation. He is in the heavily pro-Remain Poplar and Limehouse constituency and would have faced little criticism for opposing Brexit altogether. However, he says he had reached the view that a no-deal Brexit was not going to happen and that the referendum result could not be ignored. “I wouldn’t have the grief I’m getting from constituency members, delegates, family, friends [if he had opposed the deal]. All of my main supporters in my constituency are very committed Remainers. They got me elected several times. They are appalled by my voting and there is nothing I can do to assuage them, other than to explain my position. I can live with myself and I think it’s the right thing to do. In that sense, I can defend it.”

The decision clearly weighs heavily on all. “This is not about sending people off to war, so let’s keep it in proportion,” says Onn. “But yes, for me, this is a conflict between my personal opinion and those expressed strongly by my constituents. So there is always going to be that conflict. There is a conscience, constituents and country perspective on all of this. It’s fair to say I’ve had sleepless nights. I didn’t want to be the person just saying ‘No’. If you think it’s the right thing to do, then you just have to do it.”

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Melanie Onn: ‘People plumped for something else.’ Photograph: Jonathan Hordle/REX/Shutterstock

The reaction to their decision, both from within Labour and more widely among disappointed Remain supporters, has been mixed – though several of the MPs talked of hostility. Stephanie Peacock, the Barnsley East MP, says: “Everyone feels passionately and sincerely in this debate. One of my frustrations is some of the personal and political attacks, questioning our Labour values and socialism. The idea that we couldn’t possibly be Labour – that’s quite difficult to deal with.”

Smeeth says: “The way in which some people have decided to speak to us, at us or about us has been neither comradely nor a way to engage with people. It is grim to be on the other side of the debate to people who I’m very close to on every other issue. There have been some horrible moments and some horrible things said by both colleagues and political commentators about our motives.” Onn has had similar treatment. “I’ve had people saying: ‘You’ve just done that to save your job’. Well, no, because I could have had the whip removed and not been a Labour candidate.”

Some of the MPs say they end up under fire from all sides. “I go to my constituency and they think, because I’m a Labour MP, I’m like [Lib Dem MPs] Jo Swinson or Chuka Umunna,” says De Piero. “Then I come to Westminster and some of my colleagues think I’m like Nigel Farage. That is the gulf … I understand the pressures on colleagues who take a different view to me and respect them for it – but I’d like them to respect my way.”

Most of the group are still reserving judgment on how they would vote should Johnson’s Brexit bill return to the Commons unchanged. De Piero says: “I have respect for my colleagues whatever they decide to do on the bill. I would say that you’re not going to get more than half voting for the final deal.”

Others appear to have decided to back the Johnson deal to the end. “I’m reconciled to it,” says Fitzpatrick. “I don’t like it. It has caused me a lot of grief. I get a lot of, ‘This is what you’ll be remembered for, you traitor’. I said, ‘I’m surprised, because I didn’t think I’d be remembered for anything’.”