IRVINE, CA: Brigitte Penitentiary has been ordered by the Irvine Court of Blizz to release all of its inmates ahead of Stage Two of the Overwatch League.

Although numbers have never been officially released, Head Warden Kaplan told us that the penitentiary’s capacity is somewhere in the hundreds. “We got about a hundred of them in maximum security,” he said. “Those are the Overwatch League folk. Then another hundred or so from Contenders in the regular cells. The Open Division people… we just kind of chuck them into a room and let them fend for themselves.”

We managed to speak to one of the maximum security prisoners, Zack “ZachaREEE” Lombardo, ahead of his release.

“Things have been real weird around here lately man,” said Lombardo. “Since rumours started going around that we would be released, I’ve heard these screams coming from Warden Kaplan’s office each night. He’s killing something in there each night. I don’t know what it is, but it sounds like a goat.”

It’s been a long time on the inside for Lombardo. “When I started here I was in block FU, then I got transferred to block DF on good behaviour. It’s a bit better in DF but still not great. One of the guards, Aero, took a shining to me even when his superiors told him not get too attached, so that probably helped me get the transfer. He was temporarily over at block USA, but he took a beating there so he came back to block DF after that.”

I miss having a lot of trees by me — ZachaREEE (@zacklombardo) March 25, 2019

In a recent tweet, Lombardo even expressed his desire to just be on the outside and see trees once again. “I just feel so trapped in here. I can’t be myself. Stuck in Brig Penitentiary, my life feels so inflexible.”

Warden Kaplan has found it a bit difficult preparing everyone for release. “You know, I’ve kind of lost track who’s even in here. Someone was talking about a guy named Mickie? Apparently he’s meant to be around here somewhere. To be honest I haven’t even seen him since mid last year when he was admitted.”

Although many of Brigitte Penitentiary’s inmates look forward to their release, it will be hard to reintegrate themselves back into society. “Apparently if we misbehave on the outside, we’l have to come straight back in and Warden Kaplan will start up the 50-damage-stun initiative again.” Lombardo shuddered at the thought. “I never want to see that again.”

The inmates of Brigitte Penitentiary are set for release on April 4th. You can view the schedule of their release here.

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