In another surprise move following the addition of Ken Starr and Alan Dershowitz to his legal team, President Trump has announced a further notorius lawyer will speak for him on the floor of the Senate

“It just wouldn’t feel right without Roy there too.”

Though Cohn died in 1986, the White House said reanimating him was quite straightforward. Particularly helpful were Stephen Miller’s connections to the Underworld and deep knowledge of the occult.

“We just dug him up, applied some volts and sacrificed a few goats in the name of Beelzebub.”

Within no time he was a walking talking manifestation of all that is evil in the world. President Trump was said to be delighted at the result.

“It’s like Roy never left us!”

The only thing that could make things even better now, according to Dershowitz, is if they could bring Jeffrey Epstein back from the dead.

“He’s not a lawyer but he could handle the entertainment side of things.”

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