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£725 might seem a bit steep for a wank.

Yet that’s what you need to shell out for ‘high-tech, hands-free masturbation machine’ The Venus For Men.

Sybian’s seriously high spec sex toy is one for the serious onanist.

It creates a ‘powerful stroking action’ and also claims to be the only male sex toy that can make you orgasm with or without an erection.


On top of this, each is built to the user’s measurements for your very own fit.

So, obviously, we tried it.

Is this the most intense sex toy in the world? We braved the Sybian experience

Initially the name threw me – don’t women come from Venus? Isn’t it a bit like ladies’ razors?



Sybian spokeswoman Karen explained: ‘The Venus 2000 has been on the market since early 1998, making it a 20 year product that has been perfected over time. Venus is the Goddess of love, that is where the company came up with the name.’

Fair enough. The blurb also reads: ‘Durably built, Venus is portable, compact (6″x8″x 9.5″ – 11lb) and quiet.’

Now at this point, I’m slightly taken aback by the term ‘portable’.

Eleven pounds is not portable in my book – it’s laughable, like those brick mobile phones yuppies had in the 80s. You say ‘portable’, I say ‘effing heavy’.

The Venus isn’t going to slip into your backpack or briefcase, nor will it slip off the bed or anywhere else for that matter, which is a good thing.

The main component is in an unmarked box. Why, in case you’re caught carrying it at the opera? It may as well have ‘Fapatron’ written all over it.

The next step is to unpack this beast, this wild fapping machinery that promises so much.

But not so fast – this is no cheap wanking aid, it is a serious tool.

It does not come cheap (or light). And, most importantly, it is custom fitted.

Before the testing even started, I had to measure my penis and email my stats to Sybian so the custom-fitted attachments would work to best effect.

Soon enough I was unboxing, and I ripped through the sturdy packaging, discarded the instructions and studied the contents.

Very little setup was required. Was there a manual? It wasn’t required. We are only talking about a few tubes and pipes.

I laid the equipment out on the bed, and the Venus too.

I was naked, with nothing but a bottle of lube to hand and an eagerness to discover how good this sex toy was.

The main guts of the Venus is known as the air box, and the big sucky tube’s called the receiver.

There’s also another tube called the pump, and some shorter tubes for head massage – snurk – and nipple arousal.

I connected up the pipes, one to the air in/out control box and another to the receiver, then connected the speed control box.

This thing looks like a 70s TV Pong controller.

The receiver has a latex rubber tube down its middle, stretched over each end.

It’s the overall tube length and the rubbery innards that have been custom fitted.

The top has a hard plastic cap, enclosing one end.



I spread lashings of lube around the opening and inside the tube, then I took the plunge, pushing the tube down over my manhood.

I flicked the power switch, having set the dial to 0 (if you’ve ever plugged in a radio that has the volume turned all the way up you know why).

The Venus makes a gentle air pumping sound, like a sexy steam locomotive, and gentle squeezing started.

The more I turned the dial the faster it squeezed the hard shaft inside the tube.

But I was doing it all wrong. The reason everything is custom fitted is because the tube moves – you don’t need to hold everything in place.

So I let go of the tube and things start to get really interesting. I’ve gone hands-free.

Using the speed dial and the air in/out buttons I controlled the fap rate.

I favoured less air in the tube and a moderate speed.

The sight of the tube rising and falling over my cock made me think my entire manhood was about to take off.

I rose to the occasion at the same time as the receiving tube did.

The tube was rising and falling all on its own, wrapped nice and tight around my bulging penis.

It felt like being fapped and blown by a very attentive lover all at the same time, with a never-ending undulating pressure.

This thing literally faps itself – I could eat a sandwich at the same time if I hadn’t been so busy playing with controls in an effort to eke out every moment of pleasure.


I like to think I have sexual prowess of a stallion with the endurance of a cart horse, but if I’m honest things did not take long.

When I came I’m surprised the US didn’t register the event as a potential nuke strike by North Korea.

As this all happened, I couldn’t help but wonder how it would feel if somebody else was in control.

Nurse? Mistress? I guarantee there will be more experimentation.

The only downside to the Venus is that at £725 it’s far from cheap.

Oh, and somebody has to clean up the mess – although this is a general problem I seem to have with life.

Still, you pay for quality and this is built to last a lifetime of fapping, with many optional attachments that add to the fun.

Would I recommend the Sybian Venus?

Yes, yes and yes again. This is the Rolls-Royce of fapping.

It will blow your socks off, so best ask for an extra pair for Christmas.

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