Winners and losers:

Loser: Mitt Romney, maybe the biggest next to Hillary. Had a temper tantrum about Trump, who then proceeded to carry Mitt’s real home state, Michigan, something Romney could never come close to doing in 2012. Who’s yo’ daddy, Willard?

Winner: Stoners. Now weed is legal in four, maybe five more states, dude!

Loser: Kelly Ayotte, how’d that shunning Trump and hands-across-the aisle thing work out for you?

Winner: Mitch McConnell. Held the line on Obama’s SCOTUS appointment and never wavered. Big, pleasant surprise.

Loser: Gov. Charlie Baker. “Tall Deval” spends millions urging voters to support Question 2, which they didn’t, and then claims he blanks the top of the ticket.

Winner: The 1st, 2nd, 4th and 5th amendments to the Constitution. They don’t have to worry about any totalitarian assaults for at least the next four years.

Loser: Steve Lynch. First Kerry loses in ’04 and he can’t move up to the Senate, now Hillary gets a bone in her throat and he loses his graceful parachute out of politics as secretary of labor. And he still can’t find a parking space in Southie!

Winner: Peter Thiel, gay billionaire Libertarian immigrant, backs a winner in Trump and puts Gawker website out of business. This could be what you might call a career year.

Losers: Libertarian ticket of Gary Johnson and Bill Weld. Started the campaign as “respected” former GOP governors, ended as wasted, beclowned cheerleaders for the most corrupt major-party presidential candidate in U.S. history.

Winners: Grief counselors on college campuses.

Loser: Dzhokhar Tsarnaev. That pardon he’s been counting on may very well be off the table for a while.

Winners: Christians and other people of faith. Under Obama, they were public enemy No. 1, and if you doubt me, just ask the Little Sisters of the Poor.

Loser: Gun stocks. People will still be stocking up, but they don’t have to worry about buying them this weekend. Smith & Wesson stock took a tumble in early trading yesterday, but long-term it’s still a solid HOLD.

Winners: Belichick and Brady. In an ocean of good audio, Belichick chanting, “Seattle, Seattle, Seattle” may be the best of the week.

Losers: Nasty Women everywhere, but most of all, Elizabeth Warren, although Tuesday she did put her ear to the ground and heard the thundering of Trump voters coming at Hillary like a herd of buffalo on the plain before the Iron Horse.

Winners: All those journalistic cliches that are only used when the GOP controls the White House.

Candlelight vigils, the homeless, misery indexes, “grim milestones” on U.S. casualties, predator drones striking “wedding parties” — all the anti-Republican agitprop that disappeared on Jan. 20, 2009, is about to be back by popular demand — popular journalistic demand anyway.

Loser: Amy Schumer, reputed “comedienne,” already lost her Bud Light gig due to plummeting sales even before the election, now has to fulfill her pledge to leave the country, although it could be worse.

She could be Cher, who promised to move to Jupiter if Trump won.

Real shortage of desirable property on Jupiter right now, nothing even on any of the moons.

Listen to Howie 3-7 p.m. on WRKO AM 680.