Mitt Romney is out! And we hardly had time to adjust to the idea that he was in.

“I’ve decided it is best to give other leaders in the party the opportunity to become our next nominee,” Romney said in one of the least private conference calls in the history of communication.

Well, that was certainly gracious. Although a lot of Republicans thought they had an opportunity to become the next nominee whether Mitt was in the scrimmage or not. Really, he didn’t seem to be scaring off anybody. There appear to be thousands of candidates, even if you don’t count the ones who are feigning an interest in the presidential race in order to promote their cheesy television shows. (This week on “Amazing America,” Sarah Palin visited Ted Nugent on his ranch in Texas. Meanwhile, on “Celebrity Apprentice,” Donald Trump fired the woman who has a reality series about her eight kids. Celebrities just aren’t what they used to be.)

So many candidates, but, sadly, very few good pet stories. The future holds no chances to point out that Romney once drove to Canada with the family Irish setter strapped to the roof of the station wagon. And the other animal options are pretty slim. Mike Huckabee used to fry squirrels in a popcorn popper, but that was back in college. Jeb Bush says he’s very fond of manatees, though I don’t believe he keeps one in his home.

Ted Cruz recently tweeted a picture of himself posing with what looked like a rug made from a dead, and endangered, tiger. Rand Paul confided to Vogue that he hates squirrels. Maybe we can get a squirrel theme going here.