1. How long is long enough?

As we noted, 5 ½ minutes is the average time for ejaculation to occur, according to a recent study. Although doctors suggest that regularly ejaculating in under two minutes may indicate that there is a problem, this number isn’t set in stone.

(One study suggests that men who ejaculate in under one minute have “definite” premature ejaculation and those ejaculating between one and one and a half minutes have “probable” PE.) In other words, if you and your woman are both happy and fulfilled by intercourse then there is nothing to worry about.

Interestingly, women are far less likely than men to define an orgasm or ejaculation as ‘premature’. So the ‘issue’ may simply be your perception of your performance and a desire to last longer than anything serious. If the issue affects you, or your partner, and is lowering the quality of your sex life, it’s worth investigating further by seeking professional medical advice.

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2. I’m the ‘One Minute Man’! What’s the cause?

If you regularly struggle to reach the two-minute mark, there may be an issue. If you’re like most guys, the internet is probably your first port of call. The trouble is, there are many reasons for not lasting long enough in bed – both physical and emotional – and trying to diagnose yourself is ill-advised. That’s why we always suggest that you visit your local GP to discuss the issue further.

The most common medical reasons for ejaculating early or not lasting very long in bed are:

Performance anxiety

Premature ejaculation (PE)

Erectile dysfunction (ED)

These are all very common problems and affect most men at some point during their lifetime. An estimated 10 percent of men experience a problem relating to sex such as PE or ED at some point during their lives.

We’ll explain each of these three conditions and give tips and advice on dealing with them. It’s important to stress that these are medical conditions that can only be properly diagnosed by a medical professional such as your local GP.

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3. What is Performance anxiety and how do you treat it?

If you’d like to last longer in bed and are worried about how long you’ll last, you may be suffering from performance anxiety. This is very common and normal in younger men and almost every man will have experienced performance anxiety at some point or other.

However, if left untreated, performance anxiety can sometimes develop into PE or ED later on. That’s why it may be worth considering counseling. This will help you address any underlying psychological issues that may be causing performance anxiety. Counseling isn’t a quick fix and you can use any of the advice and tips in this guide to last longer in bed in the meantime.

4. What is Premature ejaculation (PE)?

There is no specific definition of premature ejaculation but it generally refers to a man ejaculating in less than two minutes during regular intercourse. PE shouldn’t be confused with Erectile dysfunction (ED) which is when you cannot achieve and/or maintain an erection sufficient for intercourse. ED can include losing your erection during sex, which could be one of the reasons why you don’t last as long as you’d like.

If you think you may have either PE or ED, you can take a free online assessment or book an appointment with your GP to get it checked out. If a medical professional confirms that you have PE, they will inform you that there are two main types of PE: Primary PE and Secondary PE.

Primary PE

This is a psychological condition and begins when men first become sexually active. If left untreated, it can remain a lifelong issue. If you have always ejaculated prematurely since your first sexual experience, you may be suffering from Primary PE.

Masturbation

Contrary to popular belief, masturbation is perfectly healthy and natural. If practiced regularly, it can help build up your stamina and reduce the sensitivity of your penis. Regularly masturbating is an excellent way of training yourself to last longer in bed. It is also a great way to practice the various behavioral techniques outlined below before you try them out with your partner.

How to use masturbation to last longer in bed

Whether you suffer from PE or simply want to last longer, masturbation is a way of training yourself to delay ejaculation. The main technique is to masturbate until you are almost about to climax and then to stop or reduce the speed.

Regular practice will help to desensitize your penis and this will help you to last longer in bed. We have a really useful guide on mutual masturbation here if you’re interested.

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Kegel exercises

Kegel exercises help to strengthen your pelvic floor muscles and will help you last longer in bed. If you think that Kegel exercises are just for women, think again. Your pelvic floor muscles primarily support your bladder and bowel but they also affect your sexual function.

How to find your pelvic floor muscles

If you aren’t sure what these muscles are or where they are, try to stop yourself urinating midstream. As you tense up, you’ll be able to identify the muscles at work.

To perform a Kegel exercise you simply contract and then relax these muscles in order to strengthen them. You can do Kegel exercises in any position including lying down, sitting, standing or even while walking.

How to do Kegel exercises

When you start off, you may find it easier to do Kegel exercises while lying down. Simply squeeze the muscles as if you are trying to stop yourself from urinating. Hold the squeeze for three seconds and then relax. That’s one repetition. Try to do ten repetitions per session and three sessions per day.

While Kegel exercises are most helpful for men who suffer from incontinence, they also improve your sexual function and may help you last longer in bed. Making them a part of your daily routine can give you results within a few weeks to a few months.

Behavioral techniques

Whether you suffer from PE or just want to develop porn-star levels of sexual endurance, behavioral techniques are one of the best ways to last longer in bed. Behavioral techniques can help you to ‘unlearn’ the habit of premature ejaculation and have sex for longer. Some of these techniques will take time and discipline to master but they should produce permanent results.

As a caveat, you may need professional advice on how to benefit from these techniques. We recommend practicing behavioral techniques while masturbating so you are more comfortable using them during sex.

The ‘Squeeze’ Technique

When you’re about to climax during intercourse, withdraw and firmly squeeze the tip of your penis using your thumb and index finger to prevent ejaculation. You can practice this while masturbating by taking yourself to the point of climax and then squeezing hard. Squeeze for a few seconds until the urge to ejaculate diminishes.

The ‘Stop-Start’ Technique

This technique calls for you to reduce stimulation when you are about to climax. You can practice this while masturbating by simply stopping when you are close to ejaculating. You can also try this technique during intercourse by withdrawing from your partner.

This technique can help you last longer in bed if practiced regularly. If you’re worried that your woman will complain about you stopping mid-flow, just go down on her! She’ll love it and you’ll get a chance to prepare yourself for the next round.

The ‘Slow-Down’ Technique

As a general rule, rapid thrusting will result in a faster climax. Therefore, using a slower, more measured technique will delay ejaculation and give your penis less stimulation, helping you to last longer.

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The ‘Testical-Tug’ Technique

Have you ever noticed that your testicles actually get tighter to your body as you’re about to orgasm? A great way to last longer is to give your scrotum a sharp downward tug when you feel yourself getting close to climaxing.

Simply hold your scrotum – not your testicles! – and tug it sharply. This loosens up your sack and brings you back from the point of climax. With regular practice, this technique can help to keep you in the game for longer!

The ‘Cheek-Bite’ Technique

Giving yourself a jolt of pain is a time-tested way of delaying ejaculation. When you feel you’re about to ejaculate, bite the inside of your cheek – or bite one of your fingers – really hard. This can help to dial down your erection and re-center yourself for a few extra minutes of action.

Mental techniques

If practiced regularly, mental techniques are almost as effective as behavioral techniques in terms of helping you to last longer in bed. We suggest practicing these techniques while you masturbate and then using them during sex.

If you suffer from either performance anxiety, PE or ED, mental techniques are a great place to start as you are dealing with fundamentally psychological conditions. Mental techniques are also great if you’re perfectly healthy and just want to pound your woman like a Trojan warrior!

Mental distraction

Forcing yourself to focus on something other than sex will reduce your enjoyment during intercourse but it is one of the best ways to last longer. If you focus your attention on something boring such as the weather or a math problem, you should be able to delay ejaculation.

If this sounds too forced or corny, try breaking down the moment in your head: My arms ache. Sweat is dripping down my back. The bed is creaking. Must tighten the bolts when I get a chance. This dull, mundane type of thinking will help you to focus on something other than yourself and should keep you from climaxing.

Focus on her

The second technique is to focus on your woman’s pleasure instead of your own. You can fantasize about doing this while you masturbate and then try it for real during intercourse.

Allow yourself to focus on your woman’s ecstasy and on helping her to climax. As with mental distraction, this technique helps you to take the focus away from yourself.

Read more 7 sex positions that can help you last longer in bed

Communication is key

Discussing before sex with your woman about your turn-ons and turn-offs can help you last longer. If there’s a particular position that gets you there sooner than you’d like, it’s a good idea to let your partner know so that you can avoid it.

Don’t be afraid to express your concerns about not lasting long enough with your woman. Honesty isn’t a sign of weakness! If she’s into you, she’ll help you out. Who knows, it could change your life! If having a discussion sounds too scary, try telling your woman during intercourse that you’re getting there and ask her to change the position or tempo.

Condoms

Wearing a condom is one of the most practical ways of lasting longer in bed. Condoms decrease sensitivity and therefore usually increase the time it takes to ejaculate.

Here are some tips on choosing the right condoms to last longer in bed.

Use thick condoms

Thicker condoms are safer as they’re less likely to accidentally break during intercourse so are usually branded as Extra Safe. However, they are also great at helping you last longer in bed. Thicker condoms will provide less stimulation and increase the time it takes you to orgasm.

Climax control condoms

Many manufacturers, including Durex, produce climax control condoms. These vary between brands but often feature thicker latex and special lubricant that desensitizes your penis. For instance, the Durex Performax Intense range features ribs and dots to maximize your woman’s pleasure and special delay lubricant to help prolong your pleasure.

Lubricant

If you’ve ever wondered how porn stars keep going for so long, you may not realize quite how much lubricant they use! Lube is a godsend for anyone wanting to last longer in bed. Here are two ways that you can effectively use lubricant to last longer in the sack.

Use a lot of lube

A lesser known advantage of lubricant is that using a lot of it can help to delay ejaculation. Generous amounts of lube will act as a kind of ‘glove’ around your penis. This will reduce the stimulation you feel during intercourse and help you delay your ejaculation.

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Don’t forget the best tip – your “wild card” tactic to last longer, so to speak – right at the very end

CONSIDER THIS: A mom of an eight year old boy is awaiting her son’s arrival from school. As he runs in, he says he needs to talk to her about making babies. He claims he knows about the development of a fetus, but doesn’t understand the answer to the million dollar question. Namely, how does the sperm get into the woman? The mom asks the boy what he thinks the answer is. The boy says that the sperm is manufactured in the man’s stomach, rises up to his chest, then throat, and into his mouth, where he then kisses the woman and deposits the sperm into her mouth. The mom tells her boy that it is a good guess, but it’s wrong. She gives him a hint by telling him that the sperm comes out of the man’s penis. Suddenly, the boy’s face becomes quite red and he says, “You mean you put your mouth on that thing?”