Jaiden Lillith is a gentleman, lady, escort, professional Dom/me, educator and a Shibari artist. A BDSM switch who delves into the world of both feminine and masculine sexual identities, the name Jaiden Lillith is divided into two worlds with Master Jaiden and Mistress Lillith. With an open mind and sex-positive views on life, they enjoy the idea of exploring and experimenting with all the facets of a person’s sexuality while placing an important emphasis on the beauty of connection in all the possible ways.

Jaiden can be found in Sydney at Temple 22 or in Melbourne at Fetish House and can be booked for private sessions, lessons and public performances. Jaiden is a sadist, inflicting pain and humiliation for pleasure with experiences that are indepth, seductive, subtle, theatrical and exotic. Jaiden has a large selection of BDSM toys to choose from ranging from crops, whips, ropes, restraint systems and so much more. Most importantly Jaiden Lillith is in complete control of all encounters with years of experiences and knowledge that has been gained from training with the best within the BDSM, fetish and kink community. All professional business is handled with complete discretion.

This is a VIP interview with Jaiden Lillith which explores Jaiden’s inspirations, gender fluidity, BDSM play, shibari and exploring the world of people’s sexual lifestyles.

Tell me about yourself

My name is Jaiden Lillith, I am an escort, BDSM professional and lifestyle switch, kink educator, Shibari performer and musician.

What inspired you to become a professional BDSM practitioner, performer and educator?

I’ve always been inspired to connect with others and create a unique intimate space in art as a musician, creator and performer, to be able to deeply affect others and to take people on a journey. I’m also a very sexual, passionate and sensual person with a love of pushing boundaries and exploring the edges of the human mind, psychology and desire. Sex work and BDSM have given me the opportunity bring those passions together and to deeply affect, explore and enter people’s minds and bodies on a very intimate level.

In terms of education I love imparting knowledge to people and helping them on their journeys. I get a deep satisfaction from seeing others take the knowledge and becoming proficient with it – their victories feel like my victories. I also feel like I’m corrupting the world, which makes me happy, haha!

What inspires you?

Everything! Talking to my fellow practitioners about their own experiences as well as having the honour to witness them work and play is definitely something that inspires me on a day to day basis.

“Nothing is true, everything is permitted.”

I first read this in William S Burrough’s “Naked Lunch”, itself a great inspiration to me with its mixture of surreality, alien sexuality and evocative language. This quote to me embodies our essential freedom of self and also the responsibilities inherent in that – that we are the creators of our own destinies and are free to explore the possibilities – the only barriers in many instances are only those of our own creation. That always inspired me to seek out alternate means of existence, of connection, of sexuality and ways of thinking – of stepping outside of the codes of morality by majority and the cultural norms.

The same transcendent feeling I get from experiencing great art, and especially the visceral and dynamic nature of music is something I try to bring to my sessions. Jung and Nietzsche have also shaped my philosophies and attitudes with their writings on the subconscious and power dynamics respectively, which gives a lot of meaning to what I do. There is an amazing quote from Dune by Frank Herbert which is something that I think of often.

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”

I think there is a lot of bravery involved in submission, and I have respect and empathy for those who choose to truly submit, and honor their trust and gift with the utmost care and compassion, even and especially within the most extreme of sessions.

What is it like being gender fluid mistress and master?

There are different energies and headspaces inherent in whether I am Mistress Lillith, Master Jaiden or Sai Jaiden Lillith, drawing varying amounts of feminine and masculine embodiment – but all of my faces are true, they are aspects that I can bring to the fore as opposed to masks that I wear, like my own spirit animals that I can call upon for their strengths, my others.

There is a history within many ancient cultures of those existing outside the binary norms of gender and identity taking a shaman-like or spiritual role in their society and I like to think that in some way I am a part of that tradition. Being an outsider frees you from many of the societal constraints that identifying with a binary can make you feel compelled to do which is liberating but can also be isolating.

How does being Gender Fluid benefit affect your BDSM practices?

It gives me a range of interactions and experiences as well as a play partner/client base which I wouldn’t find as otherwise. As someone who has found submission as well as dominance in both masculine and feminine oriented roles, I can draw on from many different perspectives with an understanding of how energy flows in different configurations.

I see a lot of feminisation clients who wouldn’t be interested in a CIS presenting male or aren’t interested in that kind of interaction with a female. They choose me because they can see that I understand in a way that many practitioners don’t from an experiential sense. There are also those who don’t want a hyper-masculine master interaction, but find something enticing and seductive in a biological male who embodies many feminine aspects. Those who feel themselves to be more fluid or identifying as a gender other than they were assigned at birth also find an immediate sense of identification and rapport with me.

In terms of play, my stance, affect, voice, bearing, the way I touch, the way I hurt, it all changes between those selves. It’s not a series of small things that I do consciously, but it’s more that when I inhabit those personas it changes the way I do things.

In a more practical sense, it means I have at least two, if not three entire wardrobes of clothing to maintain….

How did you gain skills for BDSM, shibari and kink play?

I’m an intuitive person and I pick things up very quickly. I’m a big believer in experiencing things first hand – as a switch I’ve experienced the delights and power of submission and I’ve found that that has given me some of the best insights into how I choose to engage. Play parties, learning with people and growing with them personally, on the job experience, training sessions and skill exchanges with other BDSM professionals.

Being an empath, I’m very sensitive to the emotions of others and this helps me to create connective sessions and to keep things safe. I began shibari as a rope bottom, and experiencing the intoxication of subspace was crucial to me in understanding the potential of the rope, and having found that space I love leading others into it and enjoying the energies from the top side of things. I was very lucky to have begun my rope journey with an incredible female rigger, whose style greatly influenced and still influences my shibari.

Attending workshops and being trained by places such as Sydney Rope Dojo, Studio Kink and intensive workshops with international shibari practitioners such as Nawashi Kanna and Osada Steve have also provided me with a swift growth in my shibari skills. I’ve also been lucky to have been friends with, worked with and have drawn on the knowledge of some of the great professional and lifestyle dominants in our local scene such as Tallula Darling, Artemisia DeVine, Penelope Dreadful, Domina V and Mistress Tokyo. There have also been a lot of transferrable mental skills from creative aspects such as being a performer and a musician and composer in terms of creating and holding a space.

I am always learning, always growing.

What are your favourite memories from working as a BDSM practitioner?

My best memories as a BDSM practitioner are those sessions which take people deep, and leave them (and me) strongly affected. Being with them laughing, crying, holding them, that sense of aftermath is beautiful. Stroking the head of a man who was so affected by their experience that they were thanking me in tears as I stroked their head. Those so affected by the rope that they just lay in my lap smiling for a good long while after the session ended. The face of a man who upon opening their eyes in front of a mirror, was deeply and beautifully affected to find a feminized self-staring back at him. A hardcore interrogation session where all of my electro toys were and a large number of medical implements were used, and a person who embraced their role with gusto so that we had an amazingly fun experience together. An interrogation/sexual training/shibari session where the person who entered the room shy and feeling guilt about their kinks was by the end gleefully lost in abandon. All these moments and more are some of my most treasured memories.

Performance highlights would be performing at OzKinkFest – it was an amazing experience to be alongside such great performers and artists like Avalon, Mistress Tokyo and more. I also pushed myself and my rope bottom to the limits during the performance, which is always an intoxicating feeling.

I think the workshops at OzKinkFest have to be the highlight of my educational career so far, especially the Genitorture workshop. It was delightful running through free flowing mini sessions, and the class cheering on as I made my workshop partner electrocute herself on the anus by making her press the button of the shock device was great! That also ranks as one of her favourite memories, by the way.

What do you find satisfying about being in sex work and being a professional dominant?

In both, it is sharing the moments of vulnerability and making a deep connection with them. Being a professional dominant allows me to explore the inner workings of people. It is a privilege having them open up to me, finding their personal blueprints and the road to their desires, the frisson between what they think they need and what they actually need.

Finding that moment of vulnerability, seeing the look of surrender and the intensity of the sensations and feelings, the satisfaction of unlocking someone’s authentic self and helping them find that moment of release. Feeling like I’ve helped someone overcome their own barriers.

Being able to witness and hold people in these incredibly cathartic moments, walking them through these intense experiences, getting to unleash my sadist, parts of myself which could manifest in negative ways but within these contexts are positive is incredibly liberating and affirming.

You are known for your shibari work, what do you find satisfying about shibari?

I love the ropes! They provide a tool of sensual/sadistic/sexual connection that is so versatile. You can wrap someone entirely, embracing their entire being with the ropes. It’s something that you can put together in so many different ways, from the simplest floor ties to the most complex suspensions – I love being able to free form with the rope, being able to flow with them. There is something very personal to me about layering rope, about taking someone deeper and deeper into bondage. With rope I can control an entire body, what it feels, how it looks, what shapes it is making. I am always holding them. It is wonderful and intoxicating.

What have you found that people need to do to be happy with their sexual lifestyles and sexuality?

I think people definitely need to be open minded and open hearted, being open to new experiences is one of the best ways to grow as a person. Being honest and authentic with yourself and others – if something doesn’t cause harm to another person, or irrecoverable harm to yourself then I believe that exploring both sexual/kink worlds and your own sexuality is a great way to be happy and comfortable in your own skin. There is nothing more damaging than hiding a part of yourself, and feeling alone and isolated with that feeling. There is nothing more liberating than being authentically true to yourself, and finding those who not only accept but revel in the same. Society has a way of imposing norms and expectations that don’t always line up with the true self that people are.

Within this freedom though, boundaries become ever more important – finding and standing by what feels ok to you and what feels like it is having a negative impact on your wellbeing, and being able to communicate this clearly and honestly – and respecting those boundaries and needs in others.

An awareness that there are behaviours and ways of thinking which are unacceptable and unhealthy in the everyday world which can be extremely hot and liberating in the kink/sexual world – when it is in a defined boundary and space. Things like consensual non-consent, sexism, role play scenarios can all be deliciously fun and even healing in some situations. It’s only when something imposes negative harm on another that it becomes a problem that you need to address and work through.

What services do you provide?

So many! Haha, my most popular ones would have to be shibari, forced-bi, feminisation, role play, CBT/Genitorture, electroplay, sexual training, and cuckolding.

Visiting my website Fields of Lillith which provides a comprehensive list of such.

I also am a full service escort, providing companionship and intimacies of all kinds from conversation, cuddles, massages to sex.

Where can people find you?

I mainly session through Temple 22, although I do work with other independent workers for doubles sessions like cuckolding, as well as outcalls. I do travel to QLD and VIC as well – in Melbourne I tend to session from Fetish House.

Is there any questions or information you would like to add?

Jaiden Lillith is also an event organiser and promoter for the Sanctuary BDSM club in Sydney, as well as the vocalist and co-writer for the Industrial Electronic band Z(Cluster)

Sexpert is our resident full time sex blogger. Having successfully owned and managed a number of blogs relating to women’s lifestyle, she easily blended into her role as chief blogger of the Adultsmart Blog. She is in a long term relationship with her boyfriend. She also runs Good Girl Guide, a sexual lifestyle blog. good-girl-guide.com.au/

Share this: Reddit

Twitter

Print

Pinterest

Facebook

Tumblr

LinkedIn



Like this: Like Loading...