Dear How Do I: Business?

I run a small homoeopathy practice and I think I'm in serious need of some time off.

I spend so much time dealing with other people's issues that I'm not entirely sure how to best recharge.

My wife and I are considering taking the Australia Day weekend off after two straight years of work, what do you usually recommend small business owners do to unwind?

Also, while I have your attention, I have a new homoeoprophylaxis product I'm trying to market, what are your thoughts for strategy?

Sincerely,

Sean Kiddoc



Dear Sean,

Homoeoprophylaxis? Is science not good enough for you? Is vaccination some evil myth to you?

I've given advice to tobacco advertisers, poker machine lobbyists and Channel 7 in my time, but never anti-vaccination homoeopaths.

Do you know who else is anti-vaccination? The Taliban, that's who. When they're not watching My Kitchen Rules, they're killing health workers trying to vaccinate their children.

While India is eradicating Polio with vaccines, they face the threat of the disease reappearing because of the Taliban.

Do you know who fought against the Taliban? Our troops. Why do you hate our troops, Sean?

Our troops fought so that we could have Australia Day.

When Papua New Guinea invaded New Zealand, our troops dug the trenches that kept Australia Day alive.

When Man Flu wiped out a third of Queensland's population, our troops handed out the vaccines that kept Australia Day alive.

When Alastair Cook led his troops across the Brisbane line, our troops cracked open a beer and watched them self destruct.

So really, my answer to both of your questions is: take a holiday to Pakistan and sell your homoeoprophylaxis kits there.

Should work a charm.