We will never find the answer to that question, just as we will never know the price they paid to come to this country. Nothing I have done made me feel more patriotic than the year I spent helping our Cambodian friends get settled in this country.

My own history came alive, when I felt that I could see and feel what my grandparents experienced as immigrants. Most immigrants yearn for the comfort they felt with their own language and people, but most come here out of necessity.

As a Christian, and as an American with plenty of food and comfort, I feel that it is my responsibility to help. I was glad that our Lutheran church & Lutheran Social Service gave me the guidance and support, at that time, to help them. As is often the case, the helper becomes the one who is helped. That happened to me, too. Our Cambodian friends remain our dear friends to this day.

If you are still trying to add up costs, think about your own experience. What is the earning power of your brother or sister compared to you? What help has your family been given by the government? You will probably say we all vary in experience and ability. This is true of all people - those born here and those who are not. This is why it would be difficult to say that a refugee costs us a certain amount of money.

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Again, referring to my own experience, our Cambodian friends have worked 12-hour shifts for 32 years in turkey plants and factories. Years ago, they had earned and saved enough that they were able to build their own home. It was an emotional day when I heard they became citizens. I am so proud to be an American with them.

No matter what people do with the help you give them, I know that I need to try to do the right thing. It is what blessed people should do - go and be a blessing.

Thompsen lives in Fargo.