Big Brother’s house is open once more! Every week, Parade’s Mike Bloom will be bringing you interviews with houseguests as they get evicted from the game.

It’s tough not being in the know in the Big Brother house. While you may think you have your pulse on the main vein of the game, you can be completely blind to the actual plan, leaving you surprised on eviction night. On Day 58 in Big Brother 20, Angie “Rockstar” Lantry knew the feeling of being in the dark. Indeed, her frustrations of constantly being on the other side of the vote and losing challenges put in front of her an uphill climb as tough as the slippery ramp up to the enigmatic OTEV in his traditional eponymous competition. This time, though she had been nominated for the third time due to the Hacker twist, she felt she had grabbed the proverbial rope and was able to reach the top. But, much like her performance in the Veto competition, her answer was wrong the entire time. Rockstar’s hubris was in excess, causing her game to go supernova when she got evicted by the vast majority of the house.

Months before her blindside, Rockstar walked through the doors of the house, a mother of three and Pagan witch ready to cast a spell over her fellow houseguests. She started by getting in with a solid coven, as the spirituality of Kaitlyn Herman brought her together with Haleigh Broucher, Faysal Shafaat, and Chris “Swaggy C” Williams. The newly-coined “FOUTTE” alliance were confident they would take control of the game, unaware that the levels of opposition were building against them on the other side of the house. That opposition proceeded to leave “FOUTTE” stupified in the first few votes of the game, as they successfully sent out Steve Arienta and Swaggy. In the third week, they were given the choice to break up bros Brett Robinson and Winston Hines. Brett used his eviction speech to take the opportunity to throw Rockstar under the magical mystery bus, saying she will flip in the vote and blame it on Kaitlyn. Brett then proceeded to stay in the house, yet another blindside for “FOUTTE,” and Rockstar, unlike her performance on the rock wall earlier in the week, unfroze. She proceeded to go on the attack right after the eviction, chastising Brett for his accusations and their proximity to one of her children’s birthdays. It seems Brett didn’t know exactly with whom he was making an enemy. Because when you mess with this bull, you get the pans.

With emotions still reeling, Rockstar decided to simultaneously make some music and an homage to former Big Brother winners. What followed was a seven-minute musical ode to her “best friend” and “secret showmance partner” Brett, punctuated with a pan and spoon for good measure. Perhaps it was this cacophony that led Head of Household Sam Bledsoe to put her up as a renomination, having been put on the spot after JC Monduix was able to talk his way out of getting put up in the moment. A period in the nomination chairs prompted Rockstar to dye her hair, hopeful her game would change as colorfully. Unfortunately, the roots remained. “FOUTTE” were foiled in their second chance to evict Brett, and she faced another false accusation when Bayleigh Dalton confronted her about possibly flipping the vote. After Bayleigh got evicted sitting next to Rockstar, she felt she could finally breathe a sigh of relief when Haleigh won Head of Household. But the BB infrastructure was still liable for hacking (or cracking, if you’re Faysal and the HoH bathroom sink). Though Haleigh nominated Angela Rummans and Kaycee Clark, Kaycee’s prowess in the Hacker competition allowed the peanut to crack open the game. She removed herself from the block, and Rockstar let out a frustrated, “Come on, y’all” as she sat in the nomination chair for the third time.

But all was not lost, as Haleigh still wanted to carry out a plan to nominate Tyler Crispin, and prospects were looking good in the Veto competition when he was left to fight against her, Rockstar, and Fessy. But perhaps the sickness of OTEV had gotten to Rockstar’s head, as she made two notable mistakes in a row. In one round, she accidentally corrected Tyler on his medicine selection, giving him enough time to grab the correct shipment and eliminate Haleigh. That left the two of them to square off in the final, where she ascended to the altar victorious. But her offering was refused and, in a Big Brother first, Tyler won the Veto by default. Despite losing, Rockstar felt confident she was “unevictable,” especially since she had proposed an actual secret alliance between her and Brett. Little did she know that he and the rest of the opposition were to put her film fantasy out of production, as everyone but Scottie Salton (and Fessy, who had his vote nullified by the Hacker) sent her packing.

Now on the jury, Rockstar speaks with us about what prompted her confrontation with Brett, why she felt some of her fellow houseguests came from a place of entitlement, and how she tried to play while managing the frustration of always being on the wrong side.

Before we get into the week that passed, I want to start with the beginning of your time in the house. It’s safe to say you walked through the door as one of the more prominent personalities. Did you try to adjust yourself initially to not stick out as compared to the rest of the house?

Initially, I would say that I didn’t hang back necessarily. But it was a constant competition for the spotlight, and I didn’t feel the need to compete in that competition.

Before the Veto meeting, you and Haleigh went to Tyler in the hot tub with the pitch for him to take you off the block. Why do you think he ultimately decided not to take the deal?

Because he is in an alliance with Angela. Also for revenge because Haleigh put him on the block.

Let’s move on to Brett. After he accused you of flipping on your alliance, you went after him in a flurry of words, song lyrics, and cookware. What inspired you at that moment to come at him so hard?

[Laughs.] Outside of the Big Brother house I have a little thing I like to use called a paper and pen to unload any frustrations I have about life. Inside the house, I have no paper and pen. A pot and a pan seemed like the next best thing to me. To be fair, it was actually a pan and a spoon.

Were you worried that your behavior in those moments might have rubbed your allies the wrong way?

No.

Late in this week, you made an unexpected move and proposed a Final Two deal between yourself and Brett. Had you stayed in the house, did you have any intention of honoring the “Mr. and Mrs. Smith” alliance?

Absolutely not. That would have been my first lie in the house.

Throughout your time in the game, you spoke about how you thought people like Angela and Brett played from a place of entitlement. What did you mean by that?

It was certain things that they said about their lives. It was the air that they carried themselves as untouchable. It was that “my dad is a lawyer” kind of vibe, “I can get out of anything” vibe. It was the privileged entitlement.

Talk to me about your relationship with Haleigh, someone you always seemed to be close with. What do she and Faysal have to do to make it to the end together?

That is just Haleigh and Fenessey. They have to win. They have to keep winning the comps; otherwise, they are going to get knocked out.

You were surprised at how emotional you got in the Diary Room, particularly frustrated on not being able to win anything and continuously being on the other side of the vote. How were you able to reconcile your emotions and soldier forward in the game?

That is how you have to live life. You have to get through your frustrations and move forward. You can never give up on anything. It is the struggle that makes you stronger.