...Hi.

Well, it's that day again, isn't it. Yes it is, yes it is.

I hope you have fun with it.

I hope you have a nice time on February 2nd celebrating any holiday you choose, and that you do whatever you want to do with whomever you please, so long as none of those people are me.

Please don't come anywhere near me or speak to me.

Look, I understand that the movie that bears the same name as today's "holiday" is very important to you.

I understand that you remember every single line.

I do not. I made the movie 25 years ago, and in addition, it is one of upwards of 60 films that I have now made.

Because of my decision to make that movie, which as I recall is quite a well-regarded film, I have been tortured with attention and shouted quotes, once a year, every year since then.

Was it worth it?

No. It was not worth it.

Please don't feel singled out as a fan of the film Groundhog Day. I have the same policy about being approached at Mount Rushmore, on a golf course, or in the presence of ghosts.

It's nothing personal: I reject the fevered, flop-sweated entreaties of every single one of my fans in these instances -- not just you.

It just doesn't mean as much to me as it means to you. You don't mean as much to me as I mean to you. Do you understand what I'm saying?

So when — I say "when" and not "if" because I know you'll ignore this plea and still do it — you run up to me and tell me that you are "Ned Ryerson, Needlenose Ned, Ned the Head!" I am far more likely to reply, "Heh, is that from something? Anyway, see you later," than to give you the validation you so clearly need.

Thanks for listening, take care, and leave me alone.

Oh, and happy early Valentine's Day.

-Bill (not Phil) Murray (not Connors)

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