A West Auckland couple looking forward to their wedding anniversary were allegedly attacked by their son, killing the mother.

The names of the son and his parents were suppressed when the man appeared in the Waitakere District Court yesterday.

The 34-year-old man was remanded in custody at the Mason Clinic, a forensic mental health service, when he appeared in the High Court at Auckland.

"This is a very tragic event within this family," his lawyer, Sheila McCabe, said.

The man had "serious mental health issues", she said.

Judge Hemi Taumaunu ordered a report to determine whether the man is fit to stand trial.

The judge suppressed the man and his parents' names until family members in Britain have been informed of the "disturbing and tragic incident".

The woman was stabbed to death in her West Auckland home on Wednesday night and her husband suffered life-threatening knife wounds to his neck and head.

He is in a serious but stable condition in Auckland City Hospital.

The couple's 34-year-old son appeared in court yesterday charged with the murder of his mother and attempted murder of his father.

A family friend described the news as "gut-wrenching". He and his wife had dinner with the pair at the weekend and said they were "happy, cheerful and joking".

It was the method of attack that was particularly harrowing, he said.

"It's difficult to comprehend because it's such an intimate thing - we've heard there was a stabbing involved.

"It's not like a gun, when you're standing away from somebody; it's a very intimate thing. It's gut-wrenching, horrible."

Others who knew the couple were similarly inconsolable after hearing what had happened to the "lovely, vibrant couple".

The friends said the couple had been looking forward to their impending anniversary. Another friend said the couple were liked and respected.

"We're just grieving at the moment and hoping like hell that everything goes right for [the father]," he said.

The woman "was a very special member of our team and will be sadly missed", said the managing director of the company the mother worked for.

Her "youthful, happy passion and kindness was enjoyed and appreciated by all those whose lives she touched".