The truth about Charlie Kaufman / 'Malkovich' writer puts himself -- warts and all -- into the story in 'Adaptation'

Charlie Kaufman turned Susan Orlean's 1998 nonfiction book about flowers, "The Orchid Thief," into a movie about Charlie Kaufman. Yet the "Being John Malkovich" writer, a small, unassuming man who speaks in a murmur, hardly seems the vainglorious type.

"I'm a mass of contradictions," Kaufman deadpanned. Writing himself into "Adaptation," which opens Friday, was an act of desperation, not hubris. The former sitcom writer got the plum "Orchid Thief" assignment, and paycheck, before 1999's "Malkovich" came out. He then went way past his deadline, stumped by Orlean's fascinating, but not especially cinematic, ruminations on orchid lovers and the nature of passion.

"I wanted to somehow do a movie that represented the book, and was faithful to what the book was, and I didn't know what that meant," Kaufman said. "And I didn't feel comfortable at that point saying, 'Forget it.' "

So the man who imagined a portal into actor Malkovich's brain -- and got an Oscar nomination for it -- incorporated his own tortured, sweaty writing process into his screenplay. Nicolas Cage plays Kaufman as an anxiety-ridden mess whose twin brother, Donald (also Cage), taunts him by selling his own hackneyed script about a serial killer.

"Adaptation" reteams Kaufman and "Malkovich" director Spike Jonze and trumps their previous collaboration in absurdist, mind-twisting possibilities. Parallel narratives follow Kaufman's agonies and Orlean's process in writing her book. Meryl Streep plays Orlean, who develops a complex relationship with her real-life subject, an orchid poacher played with sublime greasiness by Chris Cooper. The story lines collide in a bang-up third act that definitely wasn't in the book.

As Charlie Kaufman, Cage dismisses his instinct to insert himself in his script as unconscionably self-indulgent. Kaufman knows he might be accused of the same thing.

"But it was the only idea I had, so I figured I might as well run with it," he said.

Jonathan Demme was attached to direct, but Jonze followed Kaufman's struggles with the "Orchid" script during the making of "Malkovich."

"I talked to him as he got into more and more turmoil," said Jonze, sitting beside Kaufman in a Clift Hotel suite. Whereas Jonze, 33, a music-video visionary and husband to director Sofia Coppola, seems at home in the ultra- hip hotel, Kaufman, 44, looks as if he'd prefer a Marriott. "When he said he had this idea to write about the problems he had been having, I thought he could do something incredible with it. Of course, it was easy for me because it's not my thing, and there's not a character based on me."

Jonze's encouragement helped Kaufman through a period of horrific self- doubt, one the pair couch in dark comedy in "Adaptation."

"I'm probably prone to panic attacks anyway, but here I was, four months late, and I was not giving them what they asked for, and I had put myself in it," Kaufman said. The producers who hired the offbeat Kaufman -- he also penned the forthcoming "Confessions of a Dangerous Mind," from "Gong Show" host Chuck Barris' autobiography -- probably knew he'd be up to something. Just not this.

"I was told there was some confusion in Demme's office," Kaufman said dryly about delivering his script. Adding confusion was the script's credit, attributed to Charlie and his fictional twin brother.

(Jonze and Kaufman insist Donald is real.)

"(The producers) saw the title page and couldn't believe that after all that time, I had actually farmed out part of it to somebody else," Kaufman said with a smile. Demme grew to love the idea but decided to produce instead of direct. Orlean and other real-life characters, after some hesitation, signed off on the substantial liberties the film takes with their lives.

Jonze and Kaufman found a leading man as goofy as their premise. In the film, Cage sports a paunch and frizzy, balding pate, both of which preoccupy his neurotic character. The actor interviewed Kaufman over the course of several lunches to get a handle on the role.

"(Cage) told me he would burn the tapes -- many times. He was adamant about it," Kaufman said with a laugh. "I told him he really didn't need to, but he came up to me on the set and said, 'I burned the tapes, in my fireplace. I made a ritual of it.' "

Cage also took on Kaufman's worrywart qualities.

"Nicolas was starting to become Charlie," Jonze said. "He talked about how Charlie flapped his menu, and he tried to analyze why Charlie was doing that. Like Charlie was doing it to screw with him, so that he would do the same thing in the movie."

Kaufman isn't overweight or balding. He also denies ever having masturbated to Orlean's book-jacket photo, as Cage does in the film. But he admits he attached a photo of the author to his notebook while working on his script. As for making Cage's character pathetic with women, "I actually underplayed that, " Kaufman said.

"My neuroses are represented in the film, but not completely accurately. So I protected myself a little bit. I'm not a celebrity, so it didn't have to be accurate."

With "Adaptation," Kaufman has thrust himself into the spotlight, no matter how squeamish it makes him.

"I'm most concerned about having my name be known, which is scary," Kaufman said with a paranoia worthy of his movie alter ego. "I don't want people trying to use my credit card."

"Adaptation'

The movie opens Friday at Bay Area theaters.