EFFIE BATEMAN | BRISBANE| CONTACT

An inner-city businesswoman has royally fucked up her day by eating garlic chicken salad for lunch. The account manager in question, Mikayla Ellis, reveals that she’d left her ham and cheese sandwich on the kitchen counter and was forced to buy from the overpriced bistro located underneath her office. Torn between a tuna sub or a $28 salad, Mikayla had opted for what she thought was the lesser of two evils.

“I thought I’d be safe with a little seasoning,” admits Mikayla, “I didn’t think garlic sauce could do so much damage.”

“But that shit is potent.”

Despite washing her mouth out several times and downing half a bottle of Eclipse gum, Mikayla says her garlic breath continued to persevere.

As her next client meeting loomed near and the offensive smell continued to grow more pungent, Mikayla admits she started feeling a bit desperate.

“I got a whole wad of tissues and tried scraping the taste off”,says Mikayla, “somehow it stunk even more.”

Mikayla’s rookie error was reportedly the third of its kind to happen in the office that week, with the last major incident involving burnt popcorn and Hoisin sauce.

Between that and an intern who got a bit heavy with Axe body spray, Mikayla says that the office was a smorgasbord of noxious smells.

“I’m kind of hoping someone’s fucked up the microwave again,” admits Mikayla as she walks back to the office.

“Anything to cancel out my breath.”

“Some reheated fish would be ideal.”

More to come.

