A moderate’s perspective on the American Revolution

Three weeks ago, on the 16th of December, the radical yankee left showed its true colors. In cowardly disguises, the so-called “sons of liberty” tossed untold amounts of British tea in Boston Harbor. Calling themselves “anti-tyrants” (antiTy for short), these radicals are clearly out for the destruction of civilization. This violent attack on our way of life proves that the anti-tyrants are the real tyrants.

Now, I don’t want to come off as unsympathetic to democracy. Although it has failed every time it has been tried, democratic ideals like free speech and representation seem like the right way to go — but we cannot afford to let the radical anti-tyrant wing take us too far too fast. I consider myself to be a centrist; some reform is good, but revolution should be unthinkable. The truth is that England and all her subjects are simply monarchists — or as resistance hero Samuel Seabury put it: “we’re monarchists, that’s just the way it is.”

Known atheist Thomas Paine would have us believe that all governments are evil, and would lead us to starvation. The rise of democracy in today’s youth should scare us as much as, if not more than, absolutism. If any of these young and misguided radical democrats actually studied history, they would see that democracy in England killed 500,000 people under Cromwell, and 250,000 in Athens. Clearly, democracy cannot succeed and will always devolve into tyranny — the very thing these radicals claim to oppose.

And let us remember that they have now destroyed property! Violent protests against King George aren’t going to change anything. If these radicals really wanted to improve the colonies, they would work within the system, not try and destroy it. The Magna Carta proves that we can change England without violence. Thankfully, level-headed centrists like Sir John Johnson are reminding us loyal subjects that rushing to the yankee left would give the King exactly what he wants:

Some of these radical leftists point to the Boston Massacre as a justification for forcing loyal British officers out of their homes, and even harassing George-supporters on the streets. We must remember that these soldiers — heroes who defended us from the French on the frontier — are just following orders. If the rioters in Boston had followed the law, they wouldn’t have been shot. In fact, these actions are so traitorous that these “sons of liberty” are probably just French trolls, invading our public discourse with these fringe views. Real activists would petition parliament.

It seems obvious that these far-left yankees are just as bad as the tyranists they oppose. After all, they openly oppose letting loyalists make their cases in public (much like tyrants shut down the speech of their rivals…), and they even dress up in costumes to hide their identities! What are they afraid of?

I urge my fellow Englishmen to ignore these radical trolls and continue to work within the system. Say what you want about Parliament, but at least they are willing to have a civil discussion.