NOTE: Here we go... five minutes.

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

"So you look like you enjoyed yourself back there."

Elsa looked over to see teal eyes bright with teasing mirth as her sister played with the hem of her nightdress. The redhead was sitting cross-legged on her bed, her legs exposed due to the short length of the fabric. Her hair was down, flowing in loose waves over her shoulders and down her back to her shoulder blades.

"Well, it was a very good massage," Elsa replied mildly, glancing over… and away just as quickly. How could her sister be so immodest, and so frequently?

Then again, she hadn't been the one to expose herself during the card game. She knew that if they really had wanted to play "strip poker", she would never have agreed to it because it might involve stripping down past underwear. But taking off the shirt had been important. She saw Anna's reaction, and Rapunzel's lack of one; comparing the two, things seemed to be getting clearer. Things that had been screaming through her mind ever since they made that enormous mistake in the ice cream parlour. Still, taking her assumptions as fact would be a terrible idea. It was much smarter to test things here and there.

As she was about to do. "Did you want one, as well?" she asked Anna. "That could be your favour."

Anna giggled, though there was a decidedly nervous sound to it as her eyes darted from Elsa's bare feet to her own. "No thanks," she said in an easy tone despite the contradictory body language. "I'm still thinking about it but I promise I'll have your favour chosen by the end of the week. I kind of have an idea of what I want you to do for me, but…"

Of course, now that she was trying to figure out the particulars of their relationship, Elsa was paying attention to everything. Including Anna's nervous glances. "Maybe I'll give you one for free," she said in a carefully neutral tone. "Not as a favour, just… because."

"O-oh?" Anna cleared her throat, "W-well if you don't mind touching my gross feet, then by all means; I won't say 'no' to a free massage." However, Anna curled her feet just a little closer to her body and a faint pink tint came to her cheeks as she glanced at Elsa, looking sheepish. "A-Actually, what would feel wonderful at some point is a back massage… only of that's okay with you, of course!"

"Maybe I'll start there and work my way down to your un-queenly feet." But even as she joked, Elsa approached her sister's bunk. Her pulse was growing quicker, but she commanded herself not to overreact; it was only a massage, and only her sister. What difference would it really make?

Anna watched her advance and she looked more confused with every step. "Y-you want to do it now? Right now?" She nibbled on her lower lip. "You know we can do this another time if you really want to, right?"

Elsa had just been bending to sit on the bed when Anna spoke, and she froze in a half-crouch. Uncertainty flared in her chest, but she tried to look casual as she said, "Well… okay, I guess I don't… have to… I didn't mean to make it seem like it has to happen right away."

"Do you… want to?" Anna asked. "I mean… I really wouldn't mind but I just want you to know that I was kidding when I said that, and it's perfectly okay if you would rather go to sleep."

"Noted. But I'm not that tired. I mean, you gave me a Coke, remember? Still amped up on caffeine." After another moment of indecision, she did sit down, but made no move toward Anna's shoulders just yet. "What do you want to do?"

Anna shifted before nodding to herself. She turned so that her back was facing her older sister and gave the winter blonde a shy smile. "Should I lay down or is this good?"

"This is fine by me." Her hands came up to rest on Anna's shoulders, hesitated, and then began to knead gently. "This okay?"

"Y-yeah," Anna's breath came out in a shaky exhale and she reached up to move her hair out of the way to give her older sister more access to her shoulders. The fingers dug in harder, tracing their way up and down the tender neck muscles and then finally settling on the shoulder meat, where they went to work. A breathless moan escaped when Elsa's fingers dipped into a particularly hard area. "God, Elsa, right there…" The redhead whimpered. "I think I have a knot."

"There?" The thumbs gouged into a spot just down and to their collective right. Anna's moan increased in volume and her fingers tightly gripped the sheets. There was an expression of pain on her face, but the sounds she made were anything but pained.

"Yesss," she drew out the "s" in a low hiss of air. "Don't stop."

Elsa cleared her throat as she obeyed, kneading against the tight neck muscles. Her stomach was fluttering, her heart pounding, but she tried to tell herself that it could mean anything. It didn't have to mean… what she feared it meant. But watching Anna writhe slightly, listening to her call out in a way she had never heard another person call out…

"So," she whispered a minute or so later, to distract herself from her thoughts. "I, um… I think I know what I want my favour to be."

Anna shuddered as the knot steadily loosened and once it was gone, her shoulders melted like butter under Elsa's skilled hands. She looked back at Elsa curiously, eyes half lidded. "What is it you're thinking?"

The fingers slowly stilled, though they did not depart Anna's shoulders. The look in Anna's eyes made it hard to go through with her request. She took several breaths as she pondered how to say what she was thinking. After swallowing, she whispered, "Five minutes of honesty. You… don't have to elaborate much, and you can refuse to answer. Just don't lie, or… or hide the truth."

Anna went quiet, simply staring at Elsa and regarding her. Her eyes were no longer lazy and were instead taking in Elsa's face, examining it curiously. "Okay," she responded with a nod. "I can do that."

"Really?" Elsa breathed. She had been half-expecting an outright refusal, and the other half of herself expected at least some resistance. But Anna was willing. "Well then. Alright, um…" She kept petting up and down Anna's neck and shoulders. "Does this feel okay?"

"Yes," Anna breathed and her eyes fluttered closed, "It feels amazing."

Nodding, Elsa began to scoot a little closer. And closer. With a private shrug that Anna probably couldn't see or feel, she pulled her leg up and past Anna, then sat as close as she could, wrapping her legs around Anna's waist from behind. Anna's breathing hitched, her body going rigid as her back was pressed snugly to Elsa's front and Elsa could practically feel the heat emitting from the blush that erupted over Anna's face. However, the massage resumed and the redhead didn't pull away or struggle and gradually, she relaxed fully against Elsa's body.

"And… this?" she asked in a whisper.

"I-it feels good," Anna whispered back, sounding almost in awe. "I- I missed having you this close. It makes me feel nice..."

"Yeah?" Arms snaked around Anna's middle, and Elsa leaned her cheek against the neck of her sister, knowing that by now, she must have been able to feel her heart pounding, hear how quick and shallow her breath was coming. "Does it… make you feel anything besides 'nice'?"

Anna whimpered softly and her voice quivered as she spoke. "I feel safe when you hold me like this… safe and warm and loved." She leaned back even more into Elsa's embrace. "It feels wonderful, like I'm complete again."

"Me, too," Elsa confessed. She had intended to only force Anna to speak the truth during this "favour" of theirs, but it seemed only fair to at least offer some back. If not quite as much as she asked of Anna. "It… doesn't feel like it did before, though. Does it?"

"What do you mean?" she asked softly.

"I mean… something's different between us. Compared to five years ago and before. Not bad, I guess. But it's…" Her hands began to pet up and down Anna's stomach gently. "Am I making any sense?"

Anna's blush deepened as Elsa's cool hands continued to pet and stroke the sensitive flesh of her belly, and Elsa could feel the full body shiver that went down Anna's spine. "It is different now," she said quietly, almost somber. "It just… like, as comfortable as I am with you and as much as I love you, it almost feels… as if you aren't quite my sister anymore… you're just my best friend..."

Best friend? She had mostly gone quiet as she petted and listened, and took in the words. Then she turned her mouth aside and pressed a gentle kiss into the side of Anna's neck. "Really?"

A moan escaped as Elsa's lips touched a sensitive point in her neck. "I don't know how to describe it," she whimpered. "I know I love you, but it's just… not less than what we used to have, but different and actually… I wanna say, stronger? I love you like a best friend, l love you like…" She paused and rested a hand over Elsa's but didn't answer.

Hearing the word "love" from Anna's lips was stronger. That was a good word for it. Not that it was any stronger than the love she felt for her before, or for her parents, but it was so different and powerful in a way she didn't expect. Her lips grazed up along Anna's neck, even though she had no idea why she would do that.

"Anna… I want you to tell me something." She paused again, collecting her thoughts. "When… I had you kiss me. And you had me… try your ice cream. What… I mean, I don't want to make you say anything if you're not ready. But how did you feel when… when we did that?"

There was a long silence between them. Anna idly played with Elsa's fingers, gently massaging them and getting all the tension out of the slender digits. There was a look of fear that flickered across her face before she whispered in a voice almost too quiet to be heard, "I- I really, really liked it… maybe more than I should."

Heat spread from Elsa's heart up into her cheeks, down into her stomach… threatened to travel further. That sounded as dangerous as she had feared. Whatever she had been feeling about their stolen kisses, Anna had been feeling it, too — and had encouraged more. Even if only once, and in a playful way. This was her absolute worst nightmare.

Or it should have been her worst nightmare. Her mind recoiled in horror from the idea of doing things like that with her own sister; at least that much of her brain was working right. The problem was, her heart didn't seem to have received the memo.

"I… I did, too," she whispered softly, fearfully.

Anna looked back at Elsa, the fear replaced with surprise at the honest reply before relief flooded her features. "R-Really?" she asked timidly.

"You've been really scared of saying that, haven't you?" Elsa asked, frowning, hearing her own works quavering on the air. Of course they were; her heart was thundering in her chest, head feeling light.

"Elsa, I'm in love with my own sister, how the hell am I supposed to not be scared of saying it… out… loud?"

Anna clapped a hand in front of her mouth and stared at Elsa wide eyed. Clearly, that was FAR more than she had meant to say. Sure enough, Elsa's eyes also flew open, and she felt her pulse charge ahead even faster. The instinct to run flared up even while her fingers clutched harder against Anna's stomach. This wasn't right. Sisters weren't supposed to fall in love with each other.

Not that Elsa shared those feelings. No, she was only trying to reconcile the strange little flutterings that might be attraction, as much as she had been trying to ignore them. She couldn't be a lesbian! No other woman before had made her feel like that; no men, either. Rapunzel calling her "Mommy" had been oddly flattering in a way that both bemused and caused her to feel a warmth in her chest, but that had been easy to dismiss — like the boys who had commented on her body, her face. Flattering under the best of circumstances, but forgettable.

Not so much the kisses and confessions of Anna, who was related to her. Anna, who was so warm against her body, her wide, fearful eyes imploring her to protect her. To keep her safe. Even in the moments when Anna was entirely safe and confident, she still wanted to do that; it was only natural. But now?

In that moment, it was the only thing that mattered.

"Anna…" She tried for a reasonable smile, which she knew probably looked disingenuous while they were wrapped around each other. "You can't be 'in love' with me. I'm… you're better than that, you're better than your own sister. Even if you're… you know, um…"

Anna bit down on her lip and looked away from Elsa, her body tense again. "Gay," she muttered. "I'm so sorry, Elsa."

Now Elsa felt like a heel for passing judgment. She hadn't been trying to, but it turned out that way. How could she reassure her sister without making it seem as if she approved of the way things had been progressing of late?

"Anna… it's not just you. I like k-kissing you, too. All I'm saying is, maybe we should, um… be more careful?"

Anna perked up at that, "Careful?" she asked softly. Elsa could feel her heartbeat picking up against her chest. "D-Does this mean… you like me, too?"

"Of course I like you!" But the moment she said that, she looked away. "I… well, I don't know how I like you, though. I'm very…" Closing her eyes for a moment, so she couldn't see Anna's quizzical face or her beautiful lips, she whispered, "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry, this is just… I don't know what to think…"

Anna moved so that she could break out of Elsa's embrace, only to turn around and hug Elsa properly herself. She nuzzled Elsa's hair and started stroking the long, platinum strands lovingly. "It's okay… it must be hard, b-but you don't have to figure everything out right away… take your time." She kissed Elsa's temple. "Relax."

"But that doesn't make me relax, Anna. It makes me…" Her own lips found the soft neck below red hair, pressing in gratefully, as if she had been waiting for eons to do so.

"It's confusing and scary," Anna soothed, shivering against Elsa at the soft kiss against her neck. "It feels like the world is being flipped on its axis. I get it, I really do. I feel the same way. But we can work through this… together… if you want."

"I do. Anna, I'm determined to work through this with you. We will." Her lips twitched up towards Anna's automatically, but then she drew back, just an inch. Stopping herself. "I'm only… scared of… what we'll find on the other side."

Very gently, Anna took Elsa's face between her hands and caressed her cheeks with her thumbs, staring into her with warm teal eyes filled with love. "You don't have to be afraid anymore," she murmured. Anna rested her forehead against hers, those eyes never straying. "I'm here… and I love you, Elsa."

"I love you, too. I love you so much, Anna — and I've missed you, God!" Tears began to stream from the corners of her eyes as she finally let the dam burst. "Every single day, every night since Papa took- s-since you left, it's… you're all I've been able to think about! Were you okay? Did you need me? Did you hate me? I n-never thought of that as weird, or sick, b-but now… did I get too obsessive? I don't know, I don't know!"

"Shhhh." Anna tenderly wiped the tears away from Elsa's eyes and kissed her on the nose. "Breath with me, Elsa, it's okay. I was fine with Papa, but I wanted so badly to have my big sister with me! I will always need you… and I never hated you." She held Elsa just that little bit tighter. "You're perfect, Elsa, and I can't ask for a more wonderful sister. Honest!"

Her eyes squeezed shut again, but this time she embraced her back, taking deep breaths as she had been instructed. "I… I'm going to make sure… we're together now, I told you. S-so what if… I might want to kiss you? It's n-not as important as never losing you again!"

Anna smiled but there was a touch of sadness to it as she placed a lingering kiss on Elsa's forehead. "We'll never be separated like that again," she agreed softly and, very reluctantly, she pulled away. "And if you feel like we should… ignore these feelings so we can keep things 'sisterly', then I'll do my best to do that. I don't want to make you uncomfortable or… or ruin your relationship with Mom and God because of this."

"They aren't my concern." Taking a deep breath, she looked down at her hands, where they were falling to rest on Anna's forearms. "Well… God still is. I want to do what's right. But Mama has betrayed me in a way she... I'm not sure she can ever fix that. How am I supposed to trust her again?"

"Don't hate her, Elsa. God knows I used to think I hated her, but I was wrong. What she did was… really shitty, yes, but she's still our Mama and she was genuinely under the misguided belief that she was protecting you." Anna sighed and just started running her fingers through Elsa's hair again. "I'm not saying you should trust her right away, but… don't hold this too high against her, okay?"

Nodding, she leaned forward until their foreheads were touching. "Okay. I'm… gonna try." She took a deep, shuddering breath. "But what do you think she'll say if… if we turn out to be…" She couldn't finish. Naming it made everything seem worse than it was.

"First of all, we aren't going to be anything unless you are one hundred percent comfortable with it, which you clearly aren't," Anna said firmly. "We'll cross the bridge of how Mom reacts to it only if that time comes, okay? We don't have to stress and worry about this right now, I promise. I won't push anything. I've waited five years for a chance to be with you again, and I'm perfectly content just having you back as a sister if that's all you want us to be."

"But see… then you say things like that. Waiting five years to be with me again." Her heart was thudding in her throat when she looked away, torn between speaking up and smothering her words. In the end, she compromised by whispering her feelings. "Makes me want to kiss you more than ever."

"Sorry?" The apology was more of a question. Anna blushed and smiled sheepishly. "I mean, I kinda love that you said that, but I don't want you to feel guilty or anything and then you feel like… obligated to kiss me. That's not what I'm aiming for!"

"N-no, I didn't mean you were- Obviously, you'd never manipulate me like that, I know! Just… oh…" After taking a few quick breaths, she said, "You're so sweet, and kind, and open, and beautiful, and smart… and I missed you so much, and now when you say those things… I don't know if it's because we've already kissed, or if us kissing was unavoidable because you're just so kissable! Maybe it doesn't matter anymore, but I know I want more. I just don't think we should, it's so wrong!"

Anna looked Elsa dead in the eyes and whispered, "Does it feel right to you? When I kiss you? Does it feel wrong?"

"Yes." Squeezing her eyes shut, she let out a shaky laugh. "It f-feels like both. Sick and wrong because… b-because you're my sister, but…" She shrugged helplessly. She felt helpless. "If I let myself forget what people would think, it feels wonderful! Maybe I'm just… more lonely and desperate than I thought."

"Don't say that. I don't think you'd even be thinking about it just because you're lonely; that's not the Elsa I know." Anna looked just as conflicted, her eyes expressing desire and love even as she pulled away to a more respectable distance. "I want this," she confessed softly. "I wouldn't say no to exploring this with you, my beloved Snowflake… but only if you are comfortable with it."

Both of Elsa's eyes flew wide. Beloved. It was a heavy word, and one people didn't use much in the modern world. But when Anna said it, she felt something inside her struggling to burst into song. She forced herself to swallow, blink, and answer.

"Okay. Um… not tonight. Th-this is a lot to think about, and I don't know if… if I can handle it. But I can promise you it's not something I'll just 'forget'. We'll…" She darted in and kissed Anna, brief but true, and then smiled. "We'll be figuring this out. Together."

The redhead looked taken aback by the swift kiss, her hand drifting up to touch her lips, before a brilliant grin took over her face. "I really like the sound of that." She smiled before reaching out to give Elsa a quick hug. "Sleep on it and we'll discuss this tomorrow."

Nodding, Elsa scooted to the edge of the bed and began to get up. Then she hesitated, glancing over at her little sister as she laid a hand on her leg. "Um… what was the favour you wanted me to do? I guess I got mine."

"You'll see," Anna chuckled and rested her own hand over top of Elsa's. "It's not hard and it won't embarrass you or anything. Promise! Now…" She lay a sweet kiss on Elsa's cheek. "Night, Elsa, sweet dreams."

As much as Elsa wanted to do more, she only returned the cheek-kiss. It lingered, and her breath hitched while she gave it, but she was able to prevent herself from pushing things.

"Goodnight, my Moondrop."

To Be Continued...