RWW’s Paranoia-Rama takes a look at five of the week’s most absurd conspiracy theories from the Right.

Before Obamacare draws the earth into its Last Days with its sinister, demonic agenda of making sure more people have health coverage, we thought you’d like to hear about the recent right-wing concerns regarding voter fraud, same-sex marriage, fluoride…and Michelle Obama’s gender.

5. Obamacare Leading To The Mark Of The Beast

With President Obama well into his second term, it seems that predictions that he is the Antichrist probably weren’t true. Instead, it is now much easier to claim that Obama is only paving the way for the Antichrist.

Televangelist Matthew Hagee, for example, this week warned viewers that the Affordable Care Act will condition people to accept “the kind of global dictatorship that is described in the End Times” and the Mark of the Beast.

“It is the kind of mental mindset and thought process that enables someone to look at a leader in the future and say, ‘Certainly, you can give me a mark and that mark,’” he said.

4. Fluoride Undermines Freedom!

What’s better than a Republican congressman speaking at a climate change denialism conference? How about a Republican congressman speaking at a climate change denialism conference about the purported threat of fluoridated water!

“A lot of these things come down to freedom issues,” Rep. Dana Rohrabacher of California said during a Heartland Institute summit on Tuesday. “[I]n this country, we should be the ones who should be deciding what we put into our bodies one way or the other, not the federal government or the local government putting fluoride into our water!”

As Lee Fang points out, “Rohrabacher is a member of the House Science Committee, which oversees federal policy concerning science and innovation.”

3. Child Migrants Coming To Commit Voter Fraud

It’s always fun to witness some of our favorite Republicans take multiple conspiracy theories and put them together to make one grand conspiracy, as was this case with Rep. Louie Gohmert this week.

In an interview with Newsmax, Gohmert combined the old and very much discredited claim that President Obama used massive voter fraud to win re-election with the new conspiracy theory that the White House is orchestrating the surge in children crossing the southern border.

You see, according to Gohmert, who remember is an actual member of Congress, Obama is unlawfully bringing in children from Central America as part of a Democratic plot to use voter fraud to “turn Texas blue.”

The young migrants may one day vote Republican, Gohmert explains, but he’s “not sure there’s a country left by the time they realize that.”

2. California Legalized Bestiality, Or Something

Fox News is still insisting on having Keith Ablow put in his two cents on the issues of the day, especially following his brilliant commentary about how President Obama traveled back in time to launch the World Cup tournament in order to distract Americans from the 2012 Benghazi attack.

Ablow, no stranger to anti-LGBT ravings, this week claimed that California, by legalizing same-sex marriage, has also legalized polygamy and man-dog marriages. Of course, that isn’t even close to true, but this is Fox News after all:

1. Alex Jones Is Just Asking The Question

Alex Jones yesterday had a “special report” on whether Michelle Obama is a transgender woman. Jones insisted that he was just asking the question: “The question is: who is Michelle Obama? Is she really a woman? Is she a man? Now I’m not drawing any conclusions here but it’s fair to question anything and everything this administration says.”

“Every time I look at Michelle or Michael Obama, the First Lady or the First Tranny, something doesn’t look right. She doesn’t look like any black woman or any woman I’ve ever known,” he said. “[She] obviously has some type of chromosomal mutation or disorder, I mean undoubtedly something is wrong with her.”

He of course linked he first lady’s gender to population control, eugenics and the growth of global government.