Janay Rice says she woke up Tuesday morning “feeling like I had a horrible nightmare,” a day after a lengthier video showing her husband hitting her in a casino elevator went public.

“I woke up this morning feeling like I had a horrible nightmare, feeling like I’m mourning the death of my closest friend,” Rice wrote on her Instagram account Tuesday morning.

“But to have to accept the fact that it’s reality is a nightmare in itself.”

Rice says the media attention about the incident has caused her family pain.

“To make us relive a moment in our lives that we regret everyday is a horrible thing.”

Rice’s statement followed the release Monday of an extended version of a video that first came out in February. The shorter version showed the football player attempting to drag his unconscious then-fiancee out of an elevator at an Atlantic City casino. The longer version, which entertainment website TMZ.com released on Monday, showed the two arguing before Rice hits her and she falls to the floor unconscious.

Around the time that Janay Rice posted her statement to Instagram, the Associated Press reported that it had viewed a longer version of the video, with audio, in which the couple shouts obscenities at each other. Janay Rice, then Janay Palmer, appears to spit in Rice’s face before he hits her and she falls to the ground, AP reported.

After Rice was arrested and the first video was released, the NFL suspended Rice for two games. After the lengthier video was released Monday, the Baltimore Ravens cut Rice and the NFL suspended him indefinitely.

In her Instagram statement, Janay Rice accused the media of being motivated by ratings in its reporting of the incident, and blamed the media frenzy for ending her husband’s career.

“To take something away from the man I love that he has worked his ass off for all his life just to gain ratings is horrific. THIS IS OUR LIFE! What don’t you all get,” she wrote.

She also defended her marriage, and said the love the two share will allow them to grow as a couple.

“If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you’ve succeeded on so many levels. Just know we will continue to grow & show the world what real love is.”

Ray Rice had been charged with felony aggravated assault in the case. However, he was accepted into a pretrial diversion program in May that allowed him to avoid jail time. The charge was purged from his record.

Over the summer, several teammates and the Ravens organization expressed support for Rice.

But after a public outcry over what many saw as a lenient punishment for Rice, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell wrote a letter to all 32 NFL team owners in August saying he “didn’t get it right.” He announced new penalties for players charged with domestic violence. First-time offenders will be suspended for six games.

The Ravens and the NFL said Monday that they had not seen the longer video before its release.