Fuck You, White People

Because publishing a think piece on race relations is so hot right now

Hey White People,

PoC here, so you know shit’s about to get real.

Trump’s President-Elect now, and it’s revealed to the world what kind of racist pieces of trash ya’ll really are. So I’d like to get in on all the acceptable forms of hating White People that’s currently trending. Here goes!

First off White People, fuck you for colonization. That’s right, I’m going straight for the big guns. As a marginalized brown woman, I’m going to conveniently forget all the numerous examples in history where non-white civilizations came in and killed a bunch of other non-white people, effectively colonizing them. I’m never going to acknowledge the Mughal/Muslim takeover of the Indian subcontinent which took us from this to this.

There is no winning here for you White People; colonization is the deus ex-machina of justifying why you all are the worst race on the planet at the moment, maybe even all of human history. Any time you try to talk sense to racial minorities about identity politics and PC culture, you will be shut down. We will throw this excuse at your face till we are satisfied you feel like the racist garbage we all know you are deep down. And if you still want to have a civil and constructive discussion about these issues, we’ll bring up slavery for good measure as well.

What’s that? African kings and their willingness to sell off their own people to Europeans had a huge role to play in the mobilization of the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade? Nope, not in my reality they didn’t, so fuck you White Person! We all know white men become cops just so they can shoot unarmed black men. I will ignore anything you say that goes against this narrative I have convinced myself is the absolute truth. I expect all living White People today to feel guilty for what their ancestors did 200 years ago, but don’t expect the same collective guilt from any other race and what they did to one another.

It feels so great to finally get all this off my chest, you have no idea! As an oppressed minority, I have been waiting for my moment to shine and tell you how bigoted White People actually are. Moving on…

Everything wrong with the world is because of White People. An immigrant in America wanting to be white while growing up? Yup, blaming that on White People too.

I’m noticing a lot of you White People are beginning to realize all the grave injustices you have committed against minorities/marginalized groups (whichever label you prefer) in the past few centuries, and some of you are trying to get “woke” and understand the issues facing our communities. While that’s extremely noble of you, I’m afraid it’s not going to work. Fuck you for trying to be too woke, or not woke enough. There is simply no winning with us, but thanks for trying anyways.

I think it’s so cute you guys want to be our allies in a post-Trump America, using safety pins and whatever else you can to show us how much you care for our wellbeing. The irony is, if you ever needed allies, you’d have none. That’s right White People, none of us would come and speak for you if the roles were reversed. If some bad shit is happening to you, it’s because you deserve it. Your only allies are other White People (let that realization sink in for a moment). Because of how terrible White People have been to everyone else, it is totally acceptable if you guys are used as collateral in order to achieve racial equality in the world. Sorry not sorry, because fuck you White People!

I need a moment right now, I’ve triggered myself talking about all the injustice that exists in the world because of White People…

Okay, let’s see what else I can pin on you guys. Fuck you for whitewashing nature as well!

Fuck you for twinkies, that shit gives you diabeetus!

Simon and Garfunkel are cool though, I’ll give you props for that one.

If you disagree with anything I’m saying, it’s because you’re a racist. I’m going to use my free speech to shut down yours, so get in line and always be politically correct. And yes, all White People are a monolithic group, but don’t you dare say all Muslims are the same! #NotAllMuslims

This Thanksgiving, as you sit down with your rural, uneducated, bigoted white grandparents to eat that free-range turkey, I want you to think about what your dead ancestors did to Native Americans 400 years ago, and how you continue on in their footsteps today. How do I know your grandparents are rural whites, and thus uneducated? Because I’m a liberal intellectual, and all White People living on farms are hillbillies who want to marry their cousins. It’s true, I read it on The New York Times.

You disagree? Well, fuck you!

Sincerely,

Emboldened minority sticking it to Whitey