I’ve been to swinger clubs. I’ve had threesomes. I’ve met people at clubs, bars, bookstores, professional networking events, concerts, and sports events, and had sex with them minutes later. I’ve had masters and Doms to serve sexually. It's fair to say I’ve dabbled in almost everything. Until I met Mara, the one thing that was missing from my sex life was a true kindred spirit. I never had a female friend with whom I could, without hesitation, divulge all of my sexual exploits and in turn hear stories that matched mine. She and I met at a swinger party, and we’ve been friends ever since.



One night over drinks, I asked Mara what she would want to do if she could arrange a real-life sexual fantasy for herself. The answer spilled from her lips before I could complete my sentence. It was as though she was reading my mind.

“Let’s set up our own orgy.” she said. Her eyes were wide with delight. We realized we owed this to ourselves: We'd both had way too many group sex experiences in our past that had gone horribly wrong. Immediately, we began discussing the details of our ideal scenario together. Not too many men, no more than three or four. We agreed on a minimum penis length and girth: over 8 inches long, and at least 5 1/2 inches in width. We talked about desired height, build, and age range of the men we might invite. We both decided that we didn’t need more women because we wanted to be stars in our own fantasy.

We compared notes and exchanged the photos of their faces, bodies, and penises.

After comparing schedules, we picked a Saturday night that was 2 1/2 weeks away. We posted ads on sites that are synonymous with hookups and casual sex. Over the next several days, Mara and I screened profiles and replies fastidiously. It was easy to eliminate those who didn’t qualify: Too young. Too old. Too arrogant. Too eager. Too apprehensive. The domineering. The micromanagers. The mansplainers. All of these guys were dropped from the list of prospects in an instant. If either of us said, “Not that guy,” we deleted him, no questions asked. We listened for enthusiastic respect for our limits: Condoms are required (why does this need to be stated at all?), no slapping or rough play, be considerate of others, don’t monopolize any one position, person, or space. We eliminated men who seemed to be selfish and uncooperative. The men who were clearly turned on by being part of a group moved to the top of the list.

As we compared notes and exchanged the photos of their faces, bodies, and penises, we couldn't believe how much we enjoyed this opportunity to script our own fantasy. The process made me realize that it was up to me and no one else to replace the countless sub-par, half-hearted, boring, monotonous sexual experiences of my past with exactly what I wanted. There are countless willing, eager men out there, so why not use this to my advantage and craft a real-life fantasy for myself and my friend? In so many aspects of my life, I default to the pleasure of others first. My boss, my friends, my family all have needs that I (willingly) place ahead of mine all the time; this one night would be all about me.

When the big night finally arrived, we checked into the hotel and made sure the room was conducive to a small group having sex together. We booked a king suite with a large sitting area so there were other places to sit, lie, straddle, and rest in addition to the bed. We rearranged the lamps so there was just enough, but not too much light. We asked for extra towels and bed linens. We put condoms and small bottles of lube on both night stands. Mara and I got scantily but sexily dressed, moisturized, made up, and ready.

I turned around to kiss her and felt three different hands on my body.

The men arrived almost exactly on time. We asked them to sit on the couch. Mara and I sat on the bed and chatted with them as I started lightly touching her. My fingertips swept her shoulders and the top of her back, then I traced her spine with one hand and I asked them if they wanted feel how soft her skin felt. I watched to see who rose first knowing that most likely, he would be our leading man. Mara moved close to me and guided my body so my back was to her. She slid her hands from my butt to the center of my back and unhooked my bra. I turned around to kiss her and felt three different hands on my body. For the next hour, they followed our lead. She and I took turns asking each other if we wanted to try certain things.

“Do you want to get on top of him now?” I asked.

“Should you take a turn with two of them at the same time?” she said as she smiled at me.

“I think you’d like how he feels inside you,” I said as I stopped to get another condom and motioned for her to come closer.

The evening ended with everything checked off of our secret sex bucket list: double penetration, double blow jobs, vaginal sex with all three of them (for each of us), kissing, fondling, licking, and orgasms for and on behalf of both of us. Mara and I were happily exhausted and wrapped in a loose embrace across the bed while the men took turns freshening up in the bathroom. They left together after thanking us for allowing them to be part of our evening.

The empowerment we felt was startling. We knew that an orgy or any type of casual group sex might not be every woman’s fantasy, but we thought about our other girlfriends and wondered if they had ever orchestrated an evening like this on their own terms. We wondered why we hadn’t done this sooner, whether on our own or together. I told Mara that this one evening inspired me to take more action in other areas of life. If I could make a fantasy come true, what else was I capable of? What else could I carefully plan and plot and execute for myself?

That orgy changed my perspective of myself for the better. Instead of saying “I wish I could,” I find myself thinking about how I can make things happen. Since then, I stopped passively putting up with the coworkers I can’t stand and I now make efforts to make my boundaries clear. I picked out the new paint for my bedroom and living room, and hired a painter instead of waiting for someone to help me.

Even though I experienced sex in groups at swinger clubs before, this was the first time I didn’t leave it up to timing and chance. And it taught me that I have a lot more control and creativity than I realized. Maybe I didn’t need to plan an orgy in order to gain this new perspective, but what could be better than choosing a sexual fantasy and making it come to life? If I could do this, what’s stopping me from accomplishing anything else?

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