Yesterday the Daily News published an alarming exclusive report warning America that there's a "national clown shortage approaching." They spoke with Clowns of America International President Glenn Kohlberger, and quoted him as saying, “What’s happening is attrition. The older clowns are passing away. What happens is they go on to high school and college and clowning isn’t cool anymore. Clowning is then put on the back burner until their late 40s and early 50s." But Kohlberger has contacted us saying it's all LIES, and the story has been blown out of proportion. He told us exclusively this afternoon:

"The Daily News misquoted me... I never said there was a shortage of clowns... she fabricated the story [using] snippets of what was said, ignoring the real information. There is NO fear of a clown shortage in the U.S. Clown of America International is doing very well, and so are the clowns that are members of it. We are an educational organization that is supported by our members. We are getting new members every day. The economy has effected every organization across the board, and we may have lost a few members because of the economy but we have thousands of members in the U.S and worldwide. We are also not a Florida based organization, we are based in Minnesota, which is one more fact that she was wrong about. This reporter did not check even her own copy, as the Shriners are the largest clown organization not WCA, which I am also a member of. WCA clowns are alive and well and this article was the reporters fabrication and sensationalizing to sell newspapers."

The WCA is the World Clown Association, and while the Daily News notes that their membership "has dropped from about 3,500 to 2,500 since 2004," they never printed numbers regarding Kohlberger's organization. But anyway, we've got clowns, America! Plenty of clowns. Enough clowns to fuel our nightmares for decades to come.