HELEN:

Well Margaret, once again I am going to say what the media won’t. Mitt Romney is a lying sack of shit and he wouldn’t know a middle class tax cut if it bit him in the middle of his gold plated ass. Evidently the media seems to think that the person who slings the bullshit the farthest wins the debate. Well if that ain’t the damnest thing.

Who exactly was that man debating the President last night? Clearly somebody finally decided to shake the Etch A Sketch and now Romney is against lowering taxes for the wealthy. He’s also pro choice and for entitlement programs. But what the hell he has against Big Bird is beyond me.

If lying whenever your mouth moves is what they mean by style points then, yes, I would definitely have to say that Romney won the debate. He had to temporarily become a Democrat to do it, but yes he won. And it was clear that even the President didn’t see that one coming.

According to Etch A Sketch Romney there will be no tax cuts for the wealthy. After all, the 14% that Romney has been paying wasn’t so bad once he compared it to what everyone else was paying. Also there will be no government interference in healthcare decisions for Americans. Thank goodness because that government ban on abortion the Republicans want and Romney has promised really was a deal breaker for me. I am also delighted to know that Romney is going to force all of the states to finally implement healthcare reform. Considering they haven’t done it yet, I am not sure what he has in mind but I say bully for him. Yes. Romney needed a game changer and tonight he changed the game alright. He changed parties and became the liberal democrat we all knew he wanted to be.

If anyone out there has any idea of which Romney is running for President, please let me know because I can’t keep them all straight. Is he the guy who wants to end Medicare or the guy who wants to spend more money on Medicare? Is he the guy who wants to control my vagina or the one who believes that government shouldn’t be making healthcare decisions? Is he the guy who thinks that 47% of Americans are victims or the guy who thinks that tax cuts for the wealthy are a bad idea? Is he the guy who wants to work on day one with Democrats in Congress or the guy who on day one wants to reverse everything the Democrats accomplished? Is he the guy who likes Big Bird or the guy who will cancel Big Bird?

Margaret, that man has more faces than I have chins. I can’t keep up with which lie is the real lie. All this would be so much easier if Governor Romney would just do what he says his five sons do: pick a lie and stick to it.

The way I see it, we’re all just a bunch of Big Birds. Romney looks right into the camera and says he likes us, but given the chance, he’ll fry us up and serve us on the closest ironing board Ann can find. I mean it. Really.

MARGARET:

Helen, I couldn’t follow either one of them most of the time. They both seemed a little too angry for my liking. The one I felt sorry for was that poor Jim Lehrer. I’ve left the house many a time and forgotten my teeth too.

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