WASHINGTON—Looking around the chamber for some sort of food station, Congressman Don Young (R-AK) told reporters Wednesday that he could’ve sworn the last impeachment hearing he attended was catered. “When we were impeaching Clinton in the ’90s, I’m pretty sure there was a whole spread with, like, soups and sandwiches and a prime rib carving station,” said a peckish Young, explaining that he purposefully didn’t bring lunch today because he assumed the House of Representatives would be providing them with a buffet. “I asked an aide where the grub was, and she told me she could order food for me but I’d have to pay for it—can you believe it? I mean, not even a make-your-own pasta bar for exercising our constitutional duties. At the very least, they could have provided us with some danishes or something.” When it was representative Young’s turn to have the floor, sources confirmed he delivered an impassioned diatribe blasting the lack of free food.

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