The dumbing down of Canadian politics has surely hit rock bottom with Stephen Harper’s cynical exploitation of the tumultuous events in Ukraine.

A reasonable person might think he has defected to that country based on how much time he has spent there recently. Surely by now foreign minister John Baird is an honorary Ukrainian too.

Our 1950s prime minister has even taken us back to the political rhetoric of suburbia’s golden age. It’s like General Eisenhower and the Dulles brothers are back warning us of Ruskie tank divisions poised to strike Europe.

It’s Steve Versus Communism; Steve standing tall against the Russian Menace. Steve sending war planes. Steve … the only member of the G-7 making a complete fool of himself over the whole sad mess.

What you are seeing is a professional politician doing the only thing he knows how to do — extract crass political advantage back in Canada from the tragic events unfolding elsewhere. It comes from having never had a job in his entire life other than political marketing. When this guy’s brain gets into high gear, it sees billboards and 15-second spots.

Granted, Vladimir Putin does have that thirsty vampire look about him. Back in the day, that was also my impression of George Bush. But Steve’s target is not the Russian leader whose mid-life crisis expresses itself by tearing off his shirt and riding around on the backs of tigers.

Let there be no mistake about it. Our Steve is thinking marketing. He’s thinking about the 1.2 million Canadians of Ukrainian heritage. His Ukrainian Gambit is about winning votes by posing as a staunch defender of Ukraine, election by the million-dollar photo-op, election by working the hot buttons — anything other than his record as PM which has made the PMO one of the least trusted offices in the land.

Steve has proven adept at hot buttons. He pushed one with Canadian Tamils when he refused to attend a Commonwealth Conference in Sri Lanka for political reasons. (Funny that: in 2006 Steve put the Tamil Tigers, who were fighting for an independent state in Sri Lanka, on Canada’s official list of terrorist organizations. The designation made fundraising for the Tigers a criminal activity.) But it doesn’t get much hotter than comparing someone to Hitler. Oh, I forgot. There is something worse. Steve deciding not to talk to you. A Steve snub. Vlad will probably have to go into therapy over that one.

Harper’s pose is ludicrous. As Retired Gen. Lewis McKenzie told me, Canada will never deploy alone. Steve will not soon be commanding our troops to hurl the Russians out of Crimea. No, Harper is like the hockey fan banging on the glass yelling insults at the other team’s tough guy.

So what are the chances that Steve can persuade the G-7 to fire up the war machine with a Cromwellian light in their eyes? Zero.

Harper is a perpetual outsider on the world stage and with good reason. He is known for such outstanding foreign policy instincts as wanting to join the war in Iraq. Let’s not forget he wasn’t above wanting to dropping a bomb or two on Iran. His grasp of global issues affecting the environment is like Justin Bieber’s idea of manners — spitting off balconies on his fans.

Every grown-up knows that the only way to deal with Russia’s crimes, real and imagined, and Ukraine’s future, is through diplomacy and sanctions. It wouldn’t hurt to bring a little knowledge to the table on the complexities of Ukrainian realities either. The alternative is to turn the planet into an ash heap. Let it be remembered, we are not talking here of invading Grenada. That’s why France invited Putin to the D-Day ceremonies, while Steve was busy snubbing people and calling up the spirits from the Cold War.

The higher he can drive the fear index over Russia, the easier it will be for Harper and his crew to do some of the things he has been blocked from doing.

One of those things is buying the F-35 — the world’s only fifth-generation budget-killer. Harper’s entire handling of that file has been a quilt of lies. The Harper government lied about the existence of an existing contract; he lied about the price; he hid unflattering projections of operating costs; demonized its critics, and still has no idea what the final cost of this experimental aircraft really is, except to say it will be astronomical. As for an open competition, there is more chance of a federal grant for Idle No More.

The spectre of an aggressive Russia makes it easier to gloss over the facts and appeal to the emotions. A new Cold War is coming and we better gear up before its too late. Could that be why the decision to buy the F-35s is suddenly back on Harper’s agenda, after saying the whole thing would be punted beyond the 2015 election? Has Steve and his PMO/PCO politicrats decided the marketing moment has arrived?

Turning Vladimir Putin into Hitler also helps along another of Harper’s corporate preoccupations, Alberta’s tar sands. If he can just frighten the poor consumers of Europe enough by persuading them that a vengeful Russia might turn off the gas taps, they might not turn their noses up so quickly at tar sands oil converted to LNG. In fact, after years of lobbying, Europe is considering rewriting its fuel quality standards in such a way that bitumen’s dirtiness will be disguised. Vilifying Russia as a bellicose and unreliable partner goes a long way toward helping that effort.

But in these days of comic book politics, fact-free arguments, and phoney commercials, the most laughable part of the prime minister’s recent ranting is his Lead Hawk stand against communism. Harper appears to have forgotten a few things. For one thing, Russia is no longer a communist country; like us, its an oligarchy.

As for the biggest Communist country of them all, China, Harper’s tough stand has amounted to selling off Canadian resource companies to Chinese state-owned entities, and renting the odd panda bear from them. Not much talk of standing up for Tibet, or tough sanctions for human rights violations.

Now would that be hawk, or chicken hawk?