REGINA – The Saskatchewan government’s budget cuts have eliminated funeral services for those unable to afford it, and will instead offer a free catapult service.

Rather than cremation or burial, homeless and low-income Saskatchewanians will now be loaded onto an ancient Roman siege weapon immediately after they die and given a ceremonial release into oblivion.

Social Services Minister Tina Beaudry-Mellor says that the catapult meets the most basic need for those who are unable to pay for their own funeral.

“We offer them the most dignified trajectory that takes into account the religious and cultural rights of the deceased,” said Beaudry-Mellor to the media.

For vulnerable people, bidding farewell has never been more cost-effective, according to the Sask Party government. Family and friends can catch a glimpse of the remains of loved-ones being flung hundreds of feet into Saskatchewan’s famed ‘Living Skies’.

“Where you land is where you will rest for eternity,” added Beaudry-Mellor. “Preferably in another province.”