KUALA LUMPUR, MALAYSIA—Telling the U.S. secretary of state this was his final chance to hand over the briefcase he had been pursuing for months, Malaysian ambassador Dato’ Seri Halim Wan Salleh reportedly promised John Kerry he would spare his life in return for the item Friday as he held the dangling American statesman over the side of the Petronas Towers Skybridge. “Give me what I want, Mr. Kerry, or it all ends now,” Halim reportedly shouted over the roar of the wind rushing between the two towers as Kerry, tightly gripping onto the foreign diplomat’s hand, swayed back and forth 41 floors above the bustling city below. “Toss me the case—it’s the only way to save yourself. It’s a long ride down, Mr. Secretary, wouldn’t you agree?” Sources confirmed that after a fraught moment of contemplation, Kerry, unwilling to let the precious briefcase out of his possession, released his grip on the ambassador’s hand and began hurtling toward the earth.

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