T

Reader Comments mdenster@yahoo.com (Adrian Denning)

There's a great part in the Beach Boys 'Endless Harmony' video where Terry Melcher, just realising he's called Phil Spector a crazy piece of shit RIGHT THERE ON VIDEO! and just realising he's called Phil Spector ABSOLUTELY INFERIOR TO BRIAN WILSON!! that this look of absolute fear crosses his face. Everyone should buy the 'Endless Harmony' video/dvd just for that moment, really they should. Marc.Kreienbrink@qatar.soccent.centcom.mil

Being the youngest of a music-loving family, I was surrounded by lots of good tunes while I was growing up. I remember Endless Summer in the 8-track and on the turntable when I was young. For some reason, somewhere along the way, the Beach Bums were relegated to oldies status and prime purveyors of wimp rock. Then, in the winter of my junior year of high school, I heard "Wouldn't It Be Nice" on a radio station and I was actually impressed. Wistful teenage love lyrics, a great bass line, a rockin' accordion...my DAD plays accordion! Who would have thought accordions would be a part of a rock classic?!? Next time I got the chance, I went to the local music store and bought ALL the Beach Boys they had (Endless Summer, Pet Sounds, and some $2.99 tape I found in the discount rack). Endless Summer had some great songs ("The Warmth Of The Sun", "Don't Worry Baby", "I Get Around") but Pet Sounds was indescribable. I actually blame this album for making me fall in love with someone. Pet Sounds convinced me that Brian Wilson was a genius; the only problem with him was all those goofy surf songs he wrote. I'm glad I eventually discovered that there was life for the Beach Boys AFTER Pet Sounds because I would have missed some good music and I would still think the Beach Boys are weaker than Coors Light. And, yes, I eventually came to love those hokey surf songs.

F

Even at this early point in life's stamina, The Beach Boyz wuz fukin bitchass down wif da harmonizin n strategizin. But vocal harmonies will only take you so far when your lead vocals are quivery, out of tune and constantly threatening to make the mic erupt into ear-piercing amp feedback (just TRY to sit through "Judy" without your ears growing little skin flaps that shut closed and lock until the song is over and the waves in the air are less vomitous and disturbing.). And aside from a couple that appear to be sung by Brian Wilson, a young man with a very nice full-bodied, friendly voice ("What Is A Young Girl Made Of" is simply ADORABLE - especially considering it's an awful song!), every vocal on here sounds like amateurish garbage. Nasal Mike Love has never had the most beauteous voice in society, but back in '61 when his ego was only about 15 times that of a normal human being (as opposed to the quadruple digits it would soon reach), he sounded just hideous. Voice quivering everywhere, missing every high note, sounding like he'd stuffed his nose with earplugs to keep the stench of Brian's reeking B.O. from interfering with the formation of the powerful neuron connections that would one day bring "Kokomo" into the world (though when he did bass vocals, he sounded good! Go figure (skate).).

For the collector, you have the amazing chance to pick up such fantastic early non-album generic crap tracks as the Idjit-Goes-Hawaiian "Luau,", punch-drunk "Judy," surf nothing blah instrumental "Beach Boy Stomp," a capella so dull you'll wish you'd been there to stand on a ladder and unleash a stream of urine into their mouths "Lavender," "What Is A Young Girl Made Of?" (I was sure there'd be something in there about the lymph vascular system - FIE!) and "Barbie" (Angel Barbie, My Angel Barbie! It's just like Heaven when you completely steal every element of the song from another major hit single of the day).

Whew! Pardon me a moment while I rest my Play-On-Words organ.

Whew! Now pardon me a moment while I rest my Play-With-Turds organ! WHEEE!!!! (*squish squish squishy squirt!*)

To be fair with you, most of the worst songs were written by the producer people. The actual Brian Wilson-written songs on here are mostly (though not ALL) okay. Especially since a full SIX of these 16 tracks are their early singles "Surfin'" and "Surfin' Safari"! "Surfer Girl" is also on here, interestingly enough. But all of these craps was SO amateurish. Irritatingly amateurish. I know "Surfin'" was a hit, but man what a stupid song. But hey - why harmonize the chorus when you can just have five guys all slowly, surgically sing every syllable in the exact same key?

Getting back to the matter at hand, this album's pretty bad. But at least it's not all muffled and impossible to hear like the earliest Beatles recordings. This diarrhea- filled kiddy pool is Crystal Sparkling Clear!

I

No please, the jokes are getting ribald. The Beach Boys' sound still hasn't quite Gelled on this, their debutt album. The lead vocals are still pisspoor (I'm told that Mike Love sings most of them, and lord knows he was too busy beating the shit out of his wife to take singing lessons) and you can barely hear the music at all. At the time, the Boys played pretty rudimentary beach music anyway. Guitar had that Chuck Berry feel, but learned - not FELT, you know? It's like they don't FEEL it yet. You gotta FEEL your music. It's not about whether the songs are actually any good. You just gotta close your eyes and FEEL it. That's the only way to become a conduit for the derivative 12-bar blues rock of the Gods, like Keith Richards is.

The focus is on the great harmony vocals, but it's hard to listen past the uncomfortable lead singing to enjoy them. Mike sounds so uneasy and unpracticed, he takes what are basically nice enough little fun beach songs and turns them into an unpleasant, anxious listening experience like the kind that the Nazis used as a torture device in the Vietnam War in Korea. Still, you have to give Brian Wilson credit for writing nine original songs on their very first album! Let's all hear it for Brian! Yay, Brian! And among these are TWO classics ("Surfin' Safari" and "409," which keeps popping up in an ad on Yahoo! this week, much to my tasty delight), ONE additional hit single ("Surfin'," their one-shot song about the "surfing" fad whose success pretty much defined the band's image for all of eternity), one filler track that I for one love and find to be much more musically intriguing than the early-rock-by- numbers of the rest of the album ("Heads You Win - Tails I Lose"), two KICKASS cover tunes (the great surf instrumental "Moon Dawg" and Blue Cheer's classic "Summertime Blues" in what MUST have been the version that The Who covered at Leeds because the vocal harmonies are exactly the same and they sure as hey weren't in the Eddie Cochran version!).

But does these hits make up for the rest of the album? Does they? A miserably depressing "goodtime" song about a guy who loses his girlfriend to a stronger guy at the county fair, with her snottily calling him a "loser" in the song's fade-out? A ridiculous, darn near ASININE song about drinking root beer? A grotesque cover of Herb Alpert's Sominex jingle "Little Girl (You're My Miss America)"? A cutesy squeaky pellet of a song whose only redeeming quality is Brian Wilson falsettoing the words "Cuckoo! Cuckoo!" (if you want an even more adorable song about a cuckoo, PLEASE do yourself a nicety and buy the reissue of The Monks' Black Monk Time with bonus tracks. GREAT ALBUM.)?

And there are two other songs but I'm bored about discussing them, so you're going to have to buy the album for yourself to hear "Ten Little Indians" (a hilarious "Weird Al" Yankovic-like parody of "One Little, Two Little, Three Little Cabbage Patch") and the song with the weird unnatural chord sequence that's about some piece of clothing called a "shift." Because I have NO INTENTION of talking about those in - HEY! WHO STOLE MY LIQUID PAPER (SCREEN VERSION)?

BOTTOM LINE: Nice top you got on there, honey. But I'd rather see your bottom.

BOTTOM LINE #2: Weak lead vocals and some filler still fail to completely destroy the debut Beach Boys recording album. Thank you, Nick Venet!

But you know me, I'm always thanking Nick Venet for everything.

Reader Comments mdenster@yahoo.com (Adrian Denning)

As good as 'Please Please My Bank Manager' by the threetles, that's for sure, although with far worse actual songs, overcome by far better sounds and harmonies. I dig it. mwest@crsoftwareinc.com (Michael J. West)

Hey, no fair. It seems to me you gotta judge an album in the context of its times, and by that I mean that albums in 1962 were not intended to be anything but a hit, its b-side, and filler, so as to exploit the single's success. So that makes SURFIN' SAFARI waaaaaaaaaaaaaay better than the average 1962 long-player. And successfully enough that whassisname, the guy who was in the band for this album and none of the others, has lived the rest of his life off just the royalties from this thing. I will now negate the above statement by not giving this album any higher than a 6, either. It's really not all that great, but such promise!

T

What you have to understand and forgive is that Capitol Records were even more of a bunch of slave-driving pricks 40 years ago than they are today. Because they COULD, they forced the Beach Boys to release an album every 4 or 5 months while keeping them out on tour pretty much nonstop. This not only resulted in Brian Wilson having a nervous breakdown pretty early on, but it also resulted in a whole lot of mediocre albums. When you give a guy no time at all to create his original wares, you'd better feel damned lucky when he's still able to come up with songs as unforgettable as "Surfin' U.S.A." and "Shut Down," not to mention such gorgeous "filler" tracks as "Farmer's Daughter" and "Lonely Sea" (which is more melancholy than anything Del Shannon ever did).

(Well, I mean except for that ONE thing).

The most surprising and unexpected thing about this album is that a full 5 of the 12 songs are instrumentals! Who the hell listens to the Beach Boys for instrumentals???? That's like listening to Eric Clapton for any reason at all! Moving onward, other reasons to enjoy this second official Beach Boys LP include such new additions to the Brunswick Musical Stew as saxamaphones, electric pianos, boogie woogie pianos, xylophones and fuel- injected stingrays, which zoom through the studio knocking over all the instruments every couple of minutes.

Let me address a couple of important points here. The first is that Chuck Berry sued the Beach Boys for stealing his "Sweet Little Sixteen" and turning it into "Surfin' U.S.A." This was a valid thing to do, just as it was valid for Killing Joke to sue Nirvana for turning "Eighties" into "Come As You Are." This doesn't change the fact that "Surfin' U.S.A." and "Come As You Are" are fanFRIGGINtastic classic songs with completely different moods and elemental foci than the songs that they stole their riffs from. I mean, those "Everybody's goin' surfin'!" vocal harmonies are GENIUS! You've been there! You know what I'm talkin' `bout!

The other thing I have to point out is that for many, many years, I thought the first line of "Surfin' U.S.A." was "If everybody had an ULCER across the USA.." Imagine my hilarious self-awareness when I suddenly realized they were saying "If everybody had HEMORRHAGIC PANCREATITIS." I must have felt like a real asspipe!

The third thing I wanted to mention is that whenever I sing the verse to "Shut Down" to myself, I end up turning the third and fourth lines into "But Obi-Wan set me straight of course/He said `Go to Yoda and he'll show the force," a couple of zany, off- the-wall lyrics from "Weird Al" Yankovic's "Yoda" (parody of The Kinks' "Lola.")

The fourth and final thing is that lately I keep getting the urge to answer the phone, "Cheese Whiz Jim!" Should I do that, do you think? Or will it just confuse Ari Fleischer every time he calls me up to borrow my soundproofed silver van with the really loud radio and sliding door on the side that he and George drive around when they want to take photos of teenage girls and offer them weed?

My fifth point is to state my strong belief that every prisoner on death row should be put down IMMEDIATELY. Innocent stray dogs aren't allowed ten years of appeals - so why do we give that right to human shit? I give the death penalty an 8 out of 10.

Reader Comments mdenster@yahoo.com (Adrian Denning)

How can they enjoy a Monkees sounding organ in 1963? Or are you talking about ( cough, GAY!, cough HOMO! ) Mike Love again? Ever hear that story about how Bruce invited the guy from nineties Beach Boys sound-a-likes The High Llamas over to talk about producing a new Beach Boys album? Bruce and Mike were at the airport to meet him. The guy has just flown over from England, lands, and gets met by Mike Love who immediately calls him a faggot. mwest@crsoftwareinc.com (Michael J. West)

I hate the song "Surfin' USA." Sorry. But I do. It's always been a bit of a bore for me, something Brian shoulda passed off onto his favorite receptacle Jan and Dean. But I love "Shut Down," I love "Lonely Sea," and I don't know what else is on this album. But I don't think you can find "Lonely Sea" anywhere else can you? That alone makes this one at least worth a 7/10. Also I compliment you, Marky Mark, on switching over to the curly quotation marks. Didn't think we'd notice, did you, you scurvy reprobate? Jcjh20@aol.com (Joe H.)

Agreed with the 7! Most people would write this album off, almost as much as Surfin Safari but this album has some excellent tunes that blow away anything off that album, IMO. Most notably "Lana", "Farmer's Daughter", "Lonely Sea" and "Shut Down". All classic songs! I love "Lana" the most, because it has such an excellent and beautiful melody. I never hear it mentioned for some reason! "Farmer's Daughter" also has a great melody and a beautiful Brian vocal, same with "Lonely Sea". "Surfin USA" is the main classic on here, but man is it overplayed! I still love the Brian parts a lot though ("Everybodys goin' surfin!"). Unfortunatly, too many guitar instrumentals, although i enjoy "Stoked" and the attempt at "Misirlou". "Finders Keepers" has more lovely falsetto from Brian (which i can never get sick of!!!!) and "Noble Surfer" has an equally lovely vibe solo. The rest isn't really worth mentioning, which is why i give it a 7. dr_faustus@earthlink.net (Steven Fouts)

Actually, Mark, Chuck Berry was in prison for violating the Mann Act when "Surfin' USA" came out! The lawsuit was initiated by the publishing company rather than Berry himself. Your point about "Surfin' USA" being a true BB's record rather than a rip off is well made, however. Chuck recycled himself many times over. Speaking of Chuck Berry, it is high time you reviewed some of his albums! You are running a rock and roll review website, right? Thanks for listening.

T

The hits on this sub-half-hour cotton sock include the very pretty ballad of whiches title is are the cover's album. And the bouncy "Shut Down" rewrite "Little Deuce Coupe." And I don't know if they were hits, but "Hawaii" and "Catch A Wave" are catchy as two young beach songs could ever possibly hope to be - almost as fantastic as "Honalei - High above the Rainbow's End" and "Catch A Booger (In Your Mouth)."

Oh my good god - I just laughed my butt off at a web site! Go look at www.blackpeopleloveus.com - hilarious!!! But make sure your butt is stapled on tight!

But about the album - the most important track on here regarding the future of the Beach Boys would have to be Side B, Track 1, entitled "In My Room." Not only does this gentle, almost darkly somber ballad feature the most hypnotizing vocal harmonies on perhaps any song they ever did - it's also a frightening foreshadowing of the schizophrenic isolation in which Brian became immersed in the early `70s. Granted, he didn't really trust his lyrical instinct and generally co-wrote with other people (Car songs? Roger Christian! Other songs? Usher! Asher! Heck, I think M.C. Escher may have co-written a couple too! Honey, can you check "Johnny Carson"? NO, not his BALLSAC, dammit! Get the hell out of that sauna!) but the moods brought forth were his - HIS. And even way back in '63, he was seeking the solace of his room because the world was asking too much of him.

And by "the world," I of course mean the soul-sucking monsters at Capitol Records. Which is why there are so many half-assed bring-me-downs like the awful boring failures of "The Surfer YAWN" and "Your Summer YAWN" and the shameless ripoffs of "South Bay SUWANEE RIVER" and "Our Car MONEY THAT'S WHAT I WANT." And another thing - the song titles suck. Who names a song "The Surfer YAWN," for crying out loud?

Take it easy,

That Guy In Memento

Reader Comments mwest@crsoftwareinc.com (Michael J. West)

I don't know dick on this album except the oldies station staples. I'm just commenting because Mark told me to. Oh, wait. I got one. The Beatles ripped off the concept of "In My Room" when they wrote "There's A Place," but no one ever says anything because they're the fuckin' Beatles and we love the fuckin' Beatles even though sometimes they ripped stuff off. Like the Beach Boys song, "In My Room." Which is on Surfer Girl. ajkenyon81@yahoo.com (Amanda Kenyon)

For years, I didn't know the words or title to "Little Deuce Coup" (hell, I barely knew what deuce coup was) and the lyrics always sounded like "little two scoop." It didn't make sense at all, but I never paid any attention to the rest of the lyrics and didn't really care. Maybe they were singing about an ice cream cone. Who the hell knew. Jcjh20@aol.com (Joe H.)

I'd give this album a bit higher of a grade then most people, because it was the first album that made me fall in love with this band! The "In My Room"'s and the "Surfer Girl"'s and the "Hawaii"'s is mostly what done it. Especially "In My Room". I instantly fell in love with that gorgeous melody when i first heard it. "Catch A Wave" is also a definate highlight, with those incredible harmonies and instantly catchy melody (and dreamy harp playin too). The rest (besides "Little Deuce Coupe") are mostly neglected, but honestly there's not one song on here i'd call bad (though "Rocking Surfer" isn't too interesting). "The Surfer Moon" is a quite evokative song with great Brian Wilson vocal, "Your Summer Dream" is a pretty ballad with another great Brian Wilson vocal, "Our Car Club" is catchy as hell, "South Bay Surfer" IS a blatent and semi-obnoxious "Suwanee River" rip off but it still has the "Suwanee River" melody so it's still catchy, "Surfers Rule" has dumb lyrics but the fun is still there, and that falsetto part at the end still blows me away, and "Boogie Woodie" is cool boogieish piano instrumental that i dig. I'd probably give it a very very high 8 overall, because it's still not a classic like it could of been (just mix the best songs from here and from Shut Down Vol 2 and you got an awesome classic right there) but it's still the first album that the Beach Boys showed their talents and where Brian broke away and won creative freedom and called the shots (with amazing results). tnahpellee@yahoo.com.au (Brendan S. McCalmont)

Just to clarify something, 'In my room' is about Brian being beaten up by his dad. 'There's a place' is about John being dumped by his girlfriend in the pre-Yoko Ono years, but sure, sometimes the Beatles did rip-off stuff. SGT Pepper is just a big reworking of 'Skiffle', IMO, I actually haven't heard this album but the title track whcih I like. Bugger it, I have to get Beach Boys albums. I've got all the Beatles albums. Tman2787@aol.com

LMAO! www.blackpeopleloveus.com is hilarious!! Thanx! As for "Surfer Girl"? Eh...not as hilarious.

I

As such, three out of the six great songs you'll find on here are songs that you likely already own - "Little Deuce Coupe," "409" and "Shut Down (Turn Off, the b-side of The Little River Band's "Lonesome Loser" Single)." The other three are worth owning, but at what cost? At what cost, I beg of you?

The answer is five billion dollars. For "No-Go Showboat" alone. Anybody who doesn't like that song has the evil of a thousand demons coursing through their very soul. As for the bad songs, they're bad. And bad for the Beach Boys means bland Four Freshman-style slow nothing ballads and "rockin' rollers" that sound identical to previously recorded Beach Boys songs, but with one chord changed.

I hereby declare today Warm Voices Rearranged day. My friends Gregg Turkington and Brandan Kearney have written a book of Anagram Record Reviews and I demand that you go out and purchase it right now. It's funny, it's cheap (at MOST, 12 dollars) and Gregg was kind enough to do one for me PERSONALLY! It's not in the book, but it's GOOD! Go see the "Mark Prindle" review page and look for Gregg's "review" of Only The Good Die Young -- consider it a free sample of the kind of genius you'll find in Warm Voices Rearranged by Gergg Turkkinggville and Brenda Karter. (btw, "Warm Voices Rearranged" is an anagram of "Anagram Record Reviews" - SEE??!??!?!! THEY'RE GOOD!!!! THEY KNOW WHAT "TIME" IT IS!!! OR SHOULD I SAY WHAT "EMIT" IT IS!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAH!!!1 HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAH!!!! AHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAAH

Is my intestine supposed to go all the way down my pant leg like that?

Reader Comments knowstev@med.umich.edu (Steven Knowlton)

Not to diminish whatever abuse Murry Wilson handed out, but he didn't make Brian go deaf. That was a result of nerve damage caused by an infection he had as a baby. I think a really interesting moment is the liner notes on the extra "Pet Sounds" LP issued with "Carl and the Passions" where they say the album is issued in mono "just like Brian originally mixed it." Of course he had to mix in mono; stereo doesn't work unless you've got both ears! But the pathetic thing is the way that note sounds like Brian's dead already. mwest@crsoftwareinc.com (Michael J. West)

The absolute low point of 1960s song/album recycling. Way worse than Beatles VI. But that may just be because, although I did mention before that I hate "Surfin' USA," it's not absolute pap and silly bullshit like "Be True To Your School." That song reminds me of every high-school football coach I ever knew in Winston-Salem, especially the one who got furious and canceled a pep rally due to "lack of school spirit." Huh? Oh, the album. It's a 4 at best, and only because I like "No Go Showboat" and "Shut Down" so. Jcjh20@aol.com (Joe H.)

I'm not a big fan of this one. Too much filler to me, though there's still some great songs. The previously released songs already rule ("Shut Down", "Little Deuce Coupe", "409", and "Our Car Club"), and there's some other great songs as well. "Ballad Of Ole' Betsy" is a very nice ballad, "Be True To Your School" is a catchy hit single (dumb lyrics, however), "Car Crazy Cutie", "Spirit Of America", and "No-Go Showboat" are great songs, "Custom Machine" has it's moments, but the rest i really could do without. "Cherry Cherry Coupe" is actually a re-write of "Land Ahoy" (a Surfin Safari outtake) and i prefer that one more. "A Young Man Is Gone" is "Their Hearts Are Full Of Spring" with the lyrics changed, and i prefer the version of "Their Hearts.." on the Smiley Smile/Wild Honey 2-fer. I'd give it a really high 6. aostevenson@earthlink.net (Alex Stevenson)

this ain't no 6 out of possible 10 record. OK? some newbies may have some kind of bullshit CD full of all kinds of crap. the 1963 vinyl rocks and you can suck my tailpipe if we disagree. i always liked the BOYS car tunes. shit, if Brian went in the ocean he'd be harpooned and that would REALLY suck.

T

But back to the subject of today's lecture: Black Holes. A black hole is an area of strong gravitational force created by a champagne supernova in the sky. Likewise, The Beach Boys album mentioned above has a lot of Brian's false(teeth)tto and lots of songs where the words come out of one speaker and the music comes out of the other, which I find fairly amusing since Brian Wilson can only hear out of one ear. "What happened to the music?," I'm certain he says to himself every time he listens to it. "Aw jeez, I. Oh God, I'll never be as good as Paul McCartney," he likely continues. "WHY AM I SUCH A FAILURE??? I TRY SO HARD BUT IT OH GOD STOP TORMENTING ME!" he continues. And, regardless of my seemingly lackadaisical attitude, I'm not mocking him or his disease. He has paranoid schizophrenia, you understand. That's a very, very bad thing to have. But more about that later!

There is no real advancement per se on this album, but it DOES contain the greatest early Beach Boys song ever, objectively speaking - "Fun, Fun, Fun," which influenced not only the completely non-classic Ramones song "A Real Cool Time," but also the amazingly shitty song "I Wanna Puke" by a young, crappy Mark Prindle (see, that "good" song ends with the "hilar"iou"s" line, "And we'll have fun fun fun til I vomit in my Dad's Chevrolet!"). Likewise, this album includes two of their best-ever ballads, "Don't Worry Baby" and "The Warmth Of The Sun." And those harmony vocals hit mesmerizing highs on the incredibly spiteful Ray Davies-style character assassination "Pom Pom Play Girl."

But the bad stuff is as quarter-assed as ever: I know he was a cute young man and all, but there was NEVER any indication that Dennis Wilson was good enough to deserve a DRUM solo. It's just a straight unaccompanied surf beat for two minutes! "This Car Of Mine" is nuthin' but a basic magaysic, "Keep An Eye On Summer" seems to me a rather extraneous ballad compared to the other two and Oh Dear Christ On A Television, the spoken word piece "'Cassius' Love Vs. `Sonny' Wilson" did not need to be released. The joke (such as it is) involves Brian Wilson making fun of Mike Love's nasally voice, and Mike making fun of Brian's falsetto. Somehow, I imagine the real-life Mike Love being a bit more mean-spirited than "At least I don't sound like Mickey Mouse with a cold!" - more along the lines of "Brian, you fucking insane prick - what the fuck are you trying to do, destroy our careers? Stop dating that fucking spade, stop writing your fucking ego music and come up with some fucking hits, you mental incompetent."

You see, I believe everything I read, and that factionally questionable bio Heroes And Villains told me that Mike is a foul-tempered, wife- beating, money-grubbing racist who verbally berated Brian during the most difficult period of the young man's life. And if a questionable bio says it's true, hey who am I to question authority - and let's face it, Mike Love DOES look like a bastard. Look at the guy! He's bald! Name me ONE bald person who doesn't deserve to be buried alive out in the desert.

See? It can't be done!

Reader Comments mwest@crsoftwareinc.com (Michael J. West)

"'Cassius' Love Vs. 'Sonny' Wilson" is a stupid track, no doubt. But it does merit release, because it wins the all-time award for Ironic Foreshadowing in a Rock Song. Heh heh. Oh, also I love this album. Because of something else I disagree with you on, Marky Poo. (May I call you Marky Poo? Thanks.) And that's that there's MAJOR advancement here: Brian's Phil Spector influence really comes into its own on "Don't Worry Baby" (which Brian wrote for the Ronettes, incidentally, before Phil rejected it), which also uses the Gold Star Studios house musicians. Same is true, though to a lesser extent, on "Pom Pom Play Girl." Also, somebody please explain to me how "Warmth of the Sun" is a tribute to JFK (which Brian said it was). Also also, my dad is bald. You insensitive prick. Jcjh20@aol.com (Joe H.)

Capitol has been hounding Brian and the band for way too many albums. Little Deuce Coupe only came out like a month after Surfer Girl and this one came out like 6 or so months after Surfer Girl i think. Thus, both albums are full of a few great songs, and mostly filler, because Brian just wasn't capable of writing that many songs in that short of a period! He's only human, afterall. The songwriting increased a lot on here though, unlike Little Deuce Coupe which was stagnant and a step below Surfer Girl in quality. "Fun Fun Fun" and "Don't Worry Baby" are really good hit singles, especially the latter which is a dang beautiful song. "Keep An Eye On Summer" is also a personal favorite, with a damn amazing falsetto vocal from Brian as usual. "Warmth Of The Sun", "This Car Of Mine" (with a cute Dennis vocal), "Pom Pom Play Girl" and the "Why Do Fools Fall In Love" cover are all great tunes, but the rest is insignificant. The most blatent of the filler stuff is the stupid skit "Cassius Love Vs Sonny Wilson", "Shut Down Part II", and the pointless drum instrumental "Denny's Drums" (although it was quite ahead of it's time though!). The "Louie Louie" cover is interesting, though still insignificant. I'd give this one either a very very high 6 or 7, overall.

B

The amazing harmonies continue! And each member has his own personal liner notes on the back, giving a special sneak peek into their unique personalities. The "burn the candle at both ends" party boy Dennis Wilson talks about his "fast life of driving my Sting Ray and XKE" (like a one-man Dead Man's Curve!); early egotist Brian Wilson brags about his inspirations and ideas and about how "the fellas have worked so well with me"; brand new member Al Jardine discusses "tranquilizers before every meal" (???), Carl Wilson just thanks everybody in the world and Mike "No Glove No" Love sounds a heck of a lot nicer than everybody always says he is! But none of this has anything to do with handbags or music. And you KNOW that. I'm not fooling anybody. I'm just stalling so I don't have to talk about the songs. But you know what critically despised, untalented musicians always say: "Talking about music is like dancing about architecture." So I'll write a ballet about designing a building - how goddamned hard is that, you pricks???

But "Itchload" might get bored if I go too long without talking about music, so I'd better get to the album now. Lord knows I don't want "Itchload" to get mad at me! Prick.

Classics include "I Get Around" with its weird, stop-start, drumless distorted guitar riff that somehow gets called "a gem of pop music" by people who I guess don't notice the weird, stop-start, drumless distorted guitar riff. Great song! But certainly not a "normal pop song" by any stretch of the Armstrong. Further classics include "Little Honda" - a song about a scooter later covered by Yo La Tengo! That's Spanish for "I Have It"! Well, I had the pleasure of seeing that very band play a live concert way back in '93-'94 and let me tell you something - if "It" means "anything positive at all," then they need to brush up on their Spanish! Further classics include "Wendy," a kind of half-ballad, half-pop rocker thing that I personally don't like all that much but the Descendents did! They covered it! And how about "Hushabye"? That great `50s -style doowop lullaby was so beautiful, the Beach Boys covered it on their All Summer Long LP! Eh?

Look, all these albums sound the same. They weren't even really "albums" in the sense that you and I know them. They were singles and filler, singles and filler - that was all they were meant to be. UNTIL! (very shortly) UNTIL!

I will now describe how each song sounds, for the benefit of absolutely nobody since people who own it already know what they sound like and people who don't own it will have no idea what I'm talking about. The intro to "Wendy" sounds just like The Ventures and nobody cares. "Do You Remember?" is a rewrite of "Little Honda" with the stupidest nostalgic lyrics since Ryan Adams' "The Summer of `69ing Old People" and you'd have to be autistic to give a flying friggidydoo. "Carl's Big Chance" is the theme to Sesame Street and this information will save lives. "We'll Run Away" is a bouncy waltzy 50sy ballad, and I'm the first person in the world to ever notice. The title track is bouncy with great harmonies, which is a really helpful description, don't you think? "Girls On The Beach" is identical to "Surfer Girl" except, where "Surfer Girl" is great, "Girls On The Beach" is a piece of shit. Otherwise, the songs are note-by-note identical. "Don't Back Down" is an oddball surf song that I don't like but am afraid to say I don't like because I know somebody will send in a reader comment saying, "Didn't you notice how creative the song construction is?" Why yes, I did. And I thought, "My, what creative construction he used in piecing together this song with the shitty, emotionless melody." "Drive-In" is a hoot of a bouncy surf number highlighted by the most poorly overdubbed lead vocal since Moses overdubbed the fourth commandment after flubbing a line in the original version of The Bible.

But none of these songs mean shim compared to the REAL highlight of the album, and the reason that it has been revered by fans worldnation for weeks today - "Our Favorite Recording Sessions." It's a collection of "hilarious" bloopers that are about as funny as oh I don't know. Hell, a pink guy.

Reader Comments mwest@crsoftwareinc.com (Michael J. West)

Hey! I never noticed that the "I Get Around" riff was drumless 'cuz it's so groovin, but you're right! Wicked! I'd also like to point out that the Beach Boys were not the first to do "Little Honda," though it is a Wilson-Love song. It was originally done by the most clever Beach-Boys impersonators ever, a one-off called the Hondells. For a Honda commercial. And their version kicks the Beach Boys' version's ass. Also whoever did "Hushabye." Seems as though if the Beach Boys didn't do it first, they didn't do it best. Even when they wrote it. "Wendy," however, may have been the most perfect song they ever did, and I still almost cry when it gets to the "ooooh" part under Mike's lead vocal. Man that's gorgeous. And somehow I like "Our Favorite Recording Sessions." Why? Jcjh20@aol.com (Joe H.)

The main classic for the early surfy rock Beach Boys. "I Get Around" is the best song on the album, of course, and it's a new step in the direction of Brian's brilliantly growing production talent. The harmony arrangements are out of this world too. The title track and "Wendy" are also should-be classics, and "Hushabye", being a cover song, has some absolutely gorgeous harmonies in it, and totally kills whatever worth the original had. I don't see why you have so much hatred over "Girls On The Beach" though! That song has some absolutely beautiful harmonys in it, "Surfer Girl" rip off or not. "Don't Back Down" is also an awesome surf rocker, one of the best and last they'd ever do. I'll never see what you're talking about when you say it has a "shitty emotionless melody"! Maybe it's Mike Love's vocals. It's a good thing Brian would top himself and go into an even better direction one album later though, because songs like "Do You Remember", "Drive-In", "Little Honda" and "Carls Big Chance" show Brian was starting to grow out of normal surf-pop/rock songs, but luckily Brian gave those songs some subtle creativity that made them better then an average Beach Boys song ("Do You Remember" with its awesome groove, "Drive-In" with unusual chord changes, and "Carls Big Chance" with a far more sophisticated Spector-ish production for a surf instrumental). "Our Favorite Recording Sessions" is usually called obvious filler, which it might be, but i think it's cute and interesting for a Beach Boys fan like me (it's kinda like hearing studio banter from bootlegs), so i dig it. This album i'd give a 9, but i don't pull it out often as the band would go on to bigger and better things from here. JOHN.J.DOYLE@nuim.ie

Boy oh boy. Those Hawthorne dadd-i-ohs are starting to grow out of their denim shorts, and then some. Yeah, this is where they really come into their own as a recording act, with some ace tunes, and Brian's frighteningly brilliant innovations. Fillers still present, but hey, the prime cuts sure as hell make up for the tiny amounts of spam.

F

Peterbilt!

Kenworth!

Peterbilt!

Kenworth!

There is not a single Mack on this album. Every single track is a Peterbilt or a Kenworth. And the mood of the performance can best be summed up in the title of the first song - "FUN FUN FUN!" I find this convenient, for I couldn't have written such a clever sentence if the first song had been "Little Deuce Coupe." That phrase doesn't sum up anything. Had they chosen to package the album inside a car, perhaps it would have been a different story. But as it is, we can all breathe a sigh of relief that the first song, like the rest of the album, is "FUN FUN FUB!"

Now let me expand on the Peterbilt/Kenworth argument by actually making any sense to anyone besides myself and Mark Springsteen, who lived down the road from me when I was a kid and taught me how cool Peterbilts and Kenworths were, and how much Macks sucked cock.:

Point A (Exhibit A): How much could you dislike ANY album that features "Fun Fun Fun," "Little Deuce Coupe," "In My Room," "Hawaii" and "I Get Around"?

(Gross!) Point B(lanky Steve has a booger!): Mike Love sounds friendly! And gives some of the most entertaining vocal performances of his life in his portrayal of a bunch of insane, confused Texans ("Long, Tall Texan") and a partying, growling Igor ("Monster Mash").

Point C: Kooky stage patter! They make the crowd "yell summ'm" before Carl kicks ass on "Let's Go Trippin'!" They joke about graduating "grade school, middle school and hair school - I MEAN! High school!" (a joke that makes no sense at all, quite frankly, but what do you expect from five guys that high on crystal meth). Dennis destroys the sanctity of The Four Freshmen's "Graduation Day" by shouting "DAY!" at the end before the other guys come in for the harmony. They even present an instrument-by-instrument introduction to "Little Deuce Coupe," revealing that Al Jardine's guitar is completely silent in the mix!

Point D: They pay tribute to their favorite bands! Not just the Four Fleischman, but Chuck Berry (a speedy honky version of "Johnny B. Goode"), The Rivingtons (the hilarious, unforgivably catchy "Papa-Oom-Mow-Mow") and Jan & Dean ("The Little Old Lady From Pasadena" is as great as any Beach Boys song - what a great tune!).

And finally Point A: Every member gets a vocal solo! Dennis does "The Wanderer"! Brian does "In My Room"! Al doesn't do one and neither does Carl!

I admit that last argument wasn't as strong as the others.

Reader Comments mdenster@yahoo.com (Adrian Denning)

I'd like to hear Paul McCartney or any of those Beatles guys sing falsetto like Brian does here "LIVE IN CONCERT, DIRECT FROM HAWTHORNE!" He couldn't, could he, you see? Why? Because Paul and those 'crazy' Beatles lads were from Liverpool. Besides, Brian is like a supernova all over this album of mouldy oldies. Hey, did you hear that Beatles live album from 1964? ( okay, so there wasn't one, but lets imagine.... ) Sounded like a girl screaming for thirty minutes. I'd still give it a four out of ten though, because you know, Ringo has a big nose, and it IS the Beatles! Certified five star artists and incapable of breathing without being acclaimed as genius...... Jesus Christ, no wonder Brian went loopy. Oh right, his father. Mike Love. Eating shit off a plate! I get you!! You know the initial reaction amongst American musicians when The Beatles debuted nationwide on TV with 'I Wanna Hold Your Hand'? The teenage girls were delirious in delight, but others couldn't understand what the hell was going on. PS. I like Mike Love. Especially his poems. That's not funny, is it? knowstev@med.umich.edu (Steven Knowlton)

Mark, where have you been to not get the "hair school" joke? Didn't you see Grease, with the climactic ballad "Beauty School Dropout"? Hair school is where you go when you can't hack it in high school. Are you sure you grew up in the USA? And not North Korea, where the state of hair care hasn't progressed past 1958? (Judging by Kim Jong Il's bouffaint).

I

Let me bring an end to another wrong clich‚. Nothing rhymes with "orange"! Yes it does. "Porridge" rhymes with "orange." So does "storage." But they don't have N's!!!! So fuckin what, they don't have n's? Does "fame" rhyme with "vain"? Fine, go tell Ray Davies that "Celluloid Heroes" doesn't rhyme because "fame" doesn't have an "n." Does "been" rhyme with "dream"? Fine, go tell Paul McCartney that "Eleanor Rigby" doesn't rhyme because "dream" doesn't have an `n." "Porridge" and "storage" rhyme THE FUCK out of "orange" and if anybody ever tries to tell you different, belittle them and act really superior. And if it's your school teacher, call her a "monkey" and ask her, "Who wrote your lesson plan? A FOUR-year-old?"

Reader Comments mwest@crsoftwareinc.com (Michael J. West)

This is my favorite Christmas album, even if I did buy the budget exploitation version that they had at CVS for four dollars. The fact that their versions of "Frosty the Snowman" and "We Three Kings" don't make the oldies station's holiday rotation is blasphemy. The pope said so. Still and all, "Little Saint Nick" does make the oldies station, and it is the best one on here anyway. Whoever says it's not is lying. 9/10 at least. kilgoretroutmaskreplica@hotmail.com

A perfect "orange" rhyme (ask Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. Ohwaityoucan'tonaccountofhe'sdead): Door Hinge

A

But on to Brian Wilson's old band The Beastie Boys and their 1965 CD Today!. This was the first record Brian put together after having a nervous breakdown on a plane on tour and telling the boys that he wasn't going to tour anymore because he wanted to devote all his time to songwriting and album production. It was a brilliant move that made their albums gooder automatically.

Brian was really hot on famous producer Phil Spector's "Wall of Sound" production style so he STOLE the crap out of it to give this album a really neat, thick, orchestral sound. If you're unfamiliar with Phil Spector's "Wall of Voodoo," let me susplain it a bit. What Phil did was record like eight billion tracks of piano, horns, guitars, organs, drums and strings, put heavy reverb on them so it sounds like they're all being played in a really big room, then cram them altogether in the mix so that you get really clear lead vocals backed by a throbbing symphonic muffled ball of cotton playing chords and notes, with an occasional bright instrument like a high-pitched lead guitar or harpsichord rising above the din. It's a really neat effect that even works on The Ramones' End Of The Century, even though nobody likes that album but me. So that's the kind of sound Brian gets here.

Most of the songs are great too, even if the first few all seem to have awfully similar vocal melodies. Tune in today for some great surf guitar ("Dance Dance Dance"!), a lot of terrific piano pop with occasional girl group influences ("Don't Hurt My Little Sister"!), the same swell vocal harmonies as always (all of them!) and two of the greatest Beach Boys compositions of all time -- the haunting ballad "Kiss Me Baby" and an early, experimental run-through of the soon-to- be-legendary-and-for-damn-good-reason angst rocker "Help Me Rhonda."

The only "ingredients" in this "tasty brew" that don't "tempt my palate" are a couple "dishes" of uninnovative `50s doowop balladry and "Bull Session With The `Big Daddy'," a two- minute "bowl of intenstinal bile with a spoon in it" in which nothing happens AT ALL. The guys chit-chat about getting some fast food, answer maybe one interview question and then get faded out. Question: WHY????????

Question 2: What did Mike Love like to chew on before gigs?

Answer to both: Brian's Nuts!

Reader Comments Jcjh20@aol.com (Joe H.)

This album is the first time Brian showed what talents he really had. Sure All Summer Long had "I Get Around" (among others) and Surfer Girl had "Surfer Girl" (among a few others like "Catch A Wave"), but the songs on this album like "Kiss Me Baby", "When I Grow Up (To Be A Man)", "Please Let Me Wonder", and "In The Back Of My Mind" are amazing songs that reach closer to Pet Sounds-level then people think. There's not a song on here i dislike, i love them all (except "Big Daddy" of course)! Even the two that seem like throwaways ("Good To My Baby" and "Don't Hurt My Little Sister") are just as infectious as any beautiful piece of Beach Boys pop. Contains more Brian falsetto too, so you can't beat that. I must confess that i like the version of "Help Me Rhonda" (or "Help Me Ronda", as it's spelled for this album version) better then the single version, which most people call superior to this one. I love the harmonica, the clicky sounding tambourine, the weird false fade-outs and drop outs, and also a more "wall-of-sound" Phil Spector-ish production. The other strikes me as overproduced, but maybe because i heard this version first. Other highlights are the incredibly excitable and upbeat "Dance Dance Dance" and "Do You Wanna Dance" (no wonder they both have the word "dance" in the title). "Bull Session With Big Daddy" is really pointless and stupid though, which ends the album poorly, unfortunatly. Overall, i give it a 9! JOHN.J.DOYLE@nuim.ie

In the words of Duncan Stewart - "Great". 9/10. ccbarr@acegroup.cc

Just a little tidbit. On "Bull Sessions" when Brian says that Captitol exec. Dick Rising was a great help that is their version of the Beatles dirty messages i.e. tit tit tit, fish and finger pie. There wasn't anybody named Dick Rising working for Capitol at the time. the_words@hotmail.com

If only the whole album would've had the same standard as the first five tracks. Then I would possibly prefer it even to Pet Sounds. But it just gets weak after Rhonda. But at the start, great arrangement, catchy songs, catchy lyrics, brilliant vocals. Sometimes I wish bands today had the same honest approach towards pop music, but then I guess I wouldn't be into the BBs. Only today's (no pun intended) phonyness and pretentiousness could make a record like this so enjoyable to me. One thing that did get me a little disappointed though; for some reason I always assumed Brian was doing the vocals to the opener. From a musical point of view I suppose they're not incredible, but I thought maybe Brian really wanted to sing it, instead of giving it to Mike. It made it endearing somehow. But apparently not. Oh well. 7-8/10.

T

Then there's Al Jardine, Gock Rod. Al's voice is a little higher and saltier than Mike's, but still sounds killer on the re-gendered Crystals classic "Then I Kissed Her" and especially the hit single version of "Help Me Rhonda," which should be playing on every stereo in America right now because it's such a great song. "She was gonna be my bride and I was gonna be her man/But she let another guy come between us and it shattered my plans." You feel the pain, right? I do! "Baw baw baw baw!"

And don't forget to purchase a ticket to ride over to Carl Wilson's very first lead vocal (or so it says in the liner notes here) "Girl Don't Tell Me." And I have to second the emotion expressed in these very same liner notes that it's amazing that he never sang lead before because he has a great voice. Kind of a cross between Mike's normal guy toddle-oo and Brian's falsetto. Or rather, like a fatter version of Brian, slightly lower in pitch, as if more food is in the tummy. Sounds great! I'm trying very hard to learn the difference between these guys' voices and I recommend that you do the same because chances are good that when you meet St. Peter (Penis) at the Pearly (Semen-Drenched) Gates, he'll say you can't get into Heaven if you can't identify the lead vocalist of "Summer Means New Love."

But don't let that holier-than-thou prick fool you - "Summer Means New Love" HAS no lead vocalist!!!! It's instrumental! Up YOURS, Guy In The Bible! Which reminds me of a hilarious Emo Phillips joke. "What has four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon and three legs at night?"

A horse! It has four legs in the morning, then you whack off two of its legs in the afternoon, then you glue one back on at night." HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

But back to the vocalists. You'd be a goof to forget about Brian Wilson's falsetto, a fancy musical term meaning that he's singing really high notes but "falsely." Or rather he's singing at an octave much higher than his normal voice would reach on a cloudy day. I'll be blunt - he's singing like a GIRL. Like Frankie Valli or Lou Christie. And just like those two fine minstrels, Brian's falsetto can start to sound really whiny and irritating after a while. Not on "Let Him Run Wild" though! But then I suppose it would be pretty hard to ruin a pop song as beautiful as "Let Him Run Wild" (which would have fit in PERFECTLY on the soon-to-be-discussed Pet Sounds). And don't even get me BEGUN on the cheery "You're So Good To Me," which he sings mostly in his normal voice until the woman inside bursts out for the complete Four Seasons ripoff chorus.

Dennis has a voice too, but not on this album. Look for his voice elsewhere.

Musically, this album hits all the same high poppy, sad, surfin', doowoppy, soulful notes as Today!, but produced much more cleanly and less Wall of Soundy. Same great mix of rock and orchestral instruments too. The only mistake is "I'm Bugged At My Old Man." You can tell by the lyrics that it's supposed to be a joke, but - see - three members of this band, including the author of this track, had an incredibly abusive father. So it's somehow not funny to hear Brian's quivering, uncomfortable lead vocal tell "jokes" about his father locking him in his room and ripping the phone out of the wall. The "response" doowop vocals sound just as uncertain, as if the boys fear Murry could burst into the room at any time to bash them all deaf in one ear like he did to Brian. This song should have been left in the quickly sickening brain that thought it up. The rest of the album is GREAT though! And you can find it on a CD alongside Today!!!! A "two-fer"!!!

Man, I loved that funny little "two-fer" in Caddyshack. "Hey!" said Rodney Dangerfield. "That kangaroo stole my ball!"

Jesus, that didn't even approach making any sense.

Reader Comments mwest@crsoftwareinc.com (Michael J. West)

Now, everyone and his Uncle Rajeev knows that Pet Sounds is the greatest and most acclaimed Beach Boys album. But, if you're looking for the most essential Beach Boys album, the one that runs the gamut of everything the Beach Boys did best, it's gotta be Summer Days (and Summer Nights). Surf music, big production music, doowoppiness, Chuck Berry guitar...it's all right here. Of course "California Girls" remains the centerpiece of the album (why don't you mention that one?), despite how much is crammed into it. I loved that song when I was about six, hated it when I was twelve because I'd loved it so much at six, then loved it again when I heard how dense the arrangement was. And yet, "Help Me Rhonda" is the real best one on this album, and possibly my favorite Beach Boys song of all time. Certainly the one with the best, biggest, most cool production, begging the question: "Less Wall of Soundy? What the Hell are you talking about?" Of course I haven't heard Today! all the way through, so no more talking. 10. seerup101@hotmail.com (Devin Lawrence)

I have no insight. Summer Days is better than many online critics think, but that doesn't mean I could be a better critic than them. [Paste funny, original, potty joke here] Jcjh20@aol.com (Joe H.)

A slight step down from Today since there's 2 songs i don't care about like the "Then I Kissed Her" cover, and "The Girl From New York City". You can also tell the guys (*cough*Mike Love*cough) was pressuring Brian to stay true with the main Beach Boys formula that got them successful, and at the same time Brian was still experimenting and trying to write more uncommercial, subtle stuff. "You're So Good To Me", "Salt Lake City", and" Amusement Parks USA" thus are more lightweight then the stuff on Today although they still contain some great complex arrangements and awesome melodys. "Summer Means New Love", "Let Him Run Wild", and "California Girls" are amazing songs though, and are all a further step in Brian's quickly evolving genius. "Help Me Rhonda" alone combines both the lightweight and the ambitious side, however, which is probably the reason why it's a Beach Boys classic number 1 hit (same with "Good Vibrations"). It appears Brian also didn't have enough material to fill a record, so "I'm Bugged At My Ol' Man" (which i think is hilarious), "Girl Don't Tell Me" (sorta resembles "Ticket To Ride" like people say but i think it's a great song and the first time Carl shows his gorgeous voice), and "And Your Dreams Come True" (more amazing harmony arrangements from Brian, can't beat those) could of been songs Brian came up with at the last minute. Still a great album! Doesn't really flow as an album, but the songs are all really great! I give it a really really high 8. jdooty2234@msn.com (John)

OMFG EMO PHILIPS' NAME HAS ONE L! FIX TEH PAGE OR I SHALL MUTILATE YOUR KONE FILTER!!!1111oneoneoneELEVEN Ok, thanks for that incoherent rant. Back to more of your reviews of albums I've otherwise never heard more than the lead single of in my life. johnferry81@hotmail.com

I've been reading your reviews for quite some time and love this site. Yesterday i was reading your beach boys reviews and noticed that you said that in the booklet for this album it says that carl's first vocal was on "girl don't tell me'. So today i'm going through my beach boys music and come across a song that was unreleased but predates the aformentioned "girl don't tell me" by a year. Its "all dressed up for school." You probably don't care but i thought I'd just point that random thing out for no real reason. the_words@hotmail.com

Personally I find this to be a pretty weird record for being the Beach Boys. Weird in a bad way. It just seems so indifferent. I can't find a single song on it that I truly like. Possibly the "Help Me, Rhonda" bit, but I can already get a different version of it on Today!, which is way better. The good ones, like "Salt Lake City" or "Girl Don't Tell Me" are just good, not great. As for "California Girls", it's not bad, but it feels like I could easily name 20 BB songs that are without a doubt better. To put it in a simpler way; Summer Days etc. is a dull album if you ask me. A weak 6.

T

That wasn't nice. But neither are those JERKS who think it's funny to make fun of Bob Dylan's lyrics as Jardine the Sardine tries to present an earnest, respectful reading to "The Times They Are A-Changin'." And if you think THAT's not irritating, try listening to a seemingly stoned off his drunk mind Brian Wilson singing unhilarious parodies of his own "I Get Around" and "Little Deuce Coupe" (which, just incidentally, isn't anywhere near as funny as my OWN parody, "Little Brown Poope"). And "Hully Gully," being a song that sucks, sucks. But all the others are great, and what's really cool is that the CD is TIMELESS. Go into any inner-city ghetto at about 11:30 at night, stand on the corner and just count how many cars drive by with The Beach Boys' Party blaring out the window. If any car ISN'T playing it, yell at them "KKK Forever!" because that's code for "Kan, kan, kan you please play that Beach Boys' Party album forever, please kind sir?" Then you guys can hang out together.

Reader Comments brain_of_j@hotmail.com (Tom Joyce)

Beach Boys suck. Barbara Ann rules. It's one of the greatest songs ever written, by Chuck Fassert. The fact that you only mentioned the song like ONCE in the whole page, in the review of an irrelevant piece of crap, makes me sick. If you'd the reverse the ratio of Beach Boys and Barbara Ann mentioning instances on this page, you'd still mention the former ass-sucking instance one time too many. (In fact they still suck ass, I'm just a clumsy writer.) Thank you. This has been an excercise in futility and pointless bickering. Send 5 dollars for the full course on videotapes.

I

Ha! How long has the world ached for such lively ear humor?

The problem with my listening manner is that this album is NOT a children's album. It is far too sophisticated, mature and - yes, I'll say it and you can argue if you'd like - EZ LISTENING for the younger version of me to get much out of. This is NOT the peppy, surfy Beach Boys from a year earlier. This is easy listening music - slow, orchestral, mellow and, as Brian himself will admit, mostly built upon a songwriting approach that has more in common with Burt Bacharach than the Beatles.

But there are a couple of aspects of the album that FINALLY made me realize what a wonder of nature it really is, in spite of my obstinate, argumentative, drunken, belligerent, publicly urinary attitude towards it. The first is that many of the songs feature some of the craziest and most difficult to pin down chord changes I've ever heard. The second is that every song seems like it's been stainpakingly built second-by- second in the studio for maximum instrumental impact, meaning that it almost sounds as if Brian recorded the guitars, bass and drums, then went through the tape second-by- second shouting, "Okay, three seconds of tympani. THERE! Now bring in the bells THERE! Have the mandolins come in in the background right THERE! Latin percussion? Wait.. Wait.. THERE!"

And the entire record is like this, smoothed over and coated with such glistening unexpected stringed instruments as harpsichords, tympani, clarinets, barinet saxophones, both string and electric bass in the same songs, vibraphones, violins, violas, cellos, bongos, ukuleles, flutes, English horns, Glen Campbell waving his penis in the air 90 miles an hour making a "hoooooo!" noise, tenor saxophones, bass clarinets, trumpets, glockenspiels, accordions, French horns, organs, harmonicas, theremins and something called a `piano,' which I'm pretty sure is one of these things with all the keys - oh, what do you call it, one of those - ah yes! A keychain.

All thirteen of these songs (fourteen if you count the one printed on the label that goes "KIHHHHHH!") sound as if an incredible amount of thought and work went into both the composition and production, and to be honest, it's not at all difficult to picture its composer going insane from too many hours of intense concentration and self- imposed pressure. If you're emotionally unbalanced to begin with, you CAN'T single- handedly construct an album this creatively rich and unbelievably SMART without putting far more strain on your brain than you are likely to be able to handle. Brian survived, please understand, but not when he tried to repeat the feat a year later. NOT THEN! (*scary foreshadowing music pounds out of your computer speakers, runs into your bedroom, memorizes your credit card number and jumps back in the speakers to buy stuff on ebay*).

Hit singles include "Wouldn't It Be Nice," "God Only Knows" and "Sloop John B" (all of which RULE!). Other tunes that you may have heard of even if you haven't heard them include "I Know There's An Answer," "Caroline No" and "I Just Wasn't Made For These Times." Lyrically, the whole piece reeks of really, really strong emotions like youthful longing, unconditional love, shame, fear, romance, existential confusion and sorrow about every child's inevitable loss of innocence. These feelings are musically supported by.errr. ballad after ballad after ballad after ballad.

But they're GREAT ballads! Not at all simple or predictable. Very intelligent, complicated songwriting (except for that damned three-note descending vocal hook that you'll find in about 75% of these songs as well as at the end of each verse in Weezer's "Buddy Holly"). But you CAN'T go in to your first listen with high expectations that you're going to hear some incredible heavenly album the likes of which you haven't heard before. Because, at least in my case, you'll wonder how an album with exactly ONE different mood and song styling has managed to make so many critics' Top Albums lists over the years. Pet Sounds has a genius that completely crept up on me slowly as I got older and learned more about what goes into putting a decent song together. And, speaking as a person who has written hundreds and hundreds of songs in my day (mostly hit singles for other bands - are you familiar with Patrick Hernandez's "Born To Be Alive"? Me too! Man, I wish I'd written that one.), I'm telling you that this is not an album that your ordinary everyday shlub (Linkin Park, Van Dyke Parks, Parker Posey) could have created. It's neat. And you notice more and more with each listen.

How could you not? All the songs are so darn SLOW, you'd have to be DEAD not to notice something new with each listen!

Signed,

Bill Idjerint

Which reminds me - there is a reporter at the New York Times named "Nat Ives." What kind of parents would name a child "Nat Ives"? Read the name to yourself a few times if you don't immediately catch what I'm talking about.

Reader Comments mwest@crsoftwareinc.com (Michael J. West)

Of course it comes as no surprise if I say that there is little left to be said about Pet Sounds that hasn't already been said by someone else. But guess what? I got one anyway. Despite the fact that this is some big deal, this massively innovative and influential album that everyone else in the world has spent 35 years building on the features of, what really amazes me at long last is that this is still, after four decades, as idiosyncratic as any album gets, including Freak Out!. People may have been inspired by the things Brian did on Pet Sounds, but no one was ever able to full-on copy what he did. I'm not really sure they ever even tried. I mean, personal songs, weird production technique, and complex melodies aside, listen to the arrangements alone: the basslines that sound like someone plucking rubber bands, and the harpsichord vamps, and the one-note organ lines, and the Hawaiian-sounding guitars, and the bass harmonica in "I Know There's An Answer," and the fact that the horns have harmony arrangements that sound like vocal arrangements, all mixed down together in mono with the Phil Spector small- nation's-worth-of-percussion....man, what a quirky piece of music, really! But it's damn near perfect, too, and oh so completely fantastic. Completely deserving of every accolade it gets. ajkenyon81@yahoo.com (Amanda Kenyon)

I guess I just totally do not get it. The album is good, yes, but I just can't see it as a pop legend of the same caliber as Sgt. Pepper (which I am CONSTANTLY hearing it compared to, and people even say that McCartney ripped off Wilson, and I just don't see it). Maybe it's because most of the Beach Boys songs I hear on the radio are the earlier fluff tunes like "Surfin USA" and such, but I really can't help considering them to be nothing more than a '60s boy band with a pretty damn talented songwriter (for a boy band). I do like this album, though. It has "Sloop John B," "God Only Knows," and "Wouldn't It Be Nice," for God's sake. Those are great songs. It's just that they're not quite enough to pull the Beach Boys out of the boy-band slot I've stuck them in. seerup101@hotmail.com (Devin Lawrence)

Pet Sounds is beautiful and fun; that's all I need to know. ddickson@rice.edu (David Dickson)

Glad to know you like this one, Mark. Truth be told, I'm rather fond of it too--it's got more decently constructed songs on it than anyone has any right to expect from a cheese pop band, albeit the most legendary cheese pop band in American history. Despite the essential grungeite in me, I can't help bobbing my oversized head to stuff like "Wouldn't it Be Nice", "Sloop John B", "I'm Waiting for the Day" and "Here Today". Like most of the people here, I kinda think it's overrated, but that's just because it's been critically dubbed the second-best album of all time far too often for it's own good. Even considering its historical importance, you DO have to admit that there are a few fart songs on here, specifically, "Let's Go Away for a While", "Pet Sounds", and "I Just Wasn't Made for These Times"--they're just atmosphere and nothing else. Still--a good album. Possibly the best one of 1966. Viva Clan Wilson. Jcjh20@aol.com (Joe H.)

An amazing album. Absolutely one of my favorites, and i'm glad you finally realized its brilliance! So obviously, yes i agree with the 10. You said the album can be quite samey before, but i don't think every song on this album sounds the same! Every song is produced pretty much the same but the songs here do have it's own style, weather it be a baroque-rock type like "Waiting For The Day", James Bond-ish spy type with brass and crazy guitar sounds like the title track, the elaborately complex but gorgeous "Lets Go Away For Awhile", or just plain pure pop like "Sloop John B" and "Wouldn't It Be Nice". There's so much experimentation and innovative studio tricks that amaze me, and not to mention the lyrics! People don't usually mention these lyrics, but these lyrics on this album are quite awesome. "You Still Believe In Me", "God Only Knows", "I Just Wasn't Made For These Times", "Here Today", "I Know There's An Answer" (though the "hang on to your ego" chorus on the early version i like more) are all incredible lyrically. Thoughtful, intelligent, profound...it's all there in spades. It's indeed the same guy who wrote such silly surfing and car songs just a few years earlier but people mature. Times change. The Beatles also went through the same transition from "Love Me Do" to "Eleanor Rigby". So why does the Beach Boys get tagged "boy band" and the Beatles don't? Is it the name? Is it hype? But i digress. This album is brilliant. Lots of new sounds you've never heard in 1966 too. Like what the hell is that sound at the beginning of "I Know There's An Answer"? Or that weird sound on the break of "Here Today"? Or that incredibly unique and beautiful sound they got for the intro to "You Still Believe In Me"? Not to mention the first time a theremin was ever used on a rock record for "I Just Wasn't Made For These Times". I could go on, but i'll keep it at that. All i can say is i'm glad this album is being revered as much as it has these days. It's such a shame as it is that a large amount of the Beach Boys catalouge is ignored, and they're known as a silly novelty surfing band to most people instead of the American version of The Beatles (which is how I see them), so i think they deserve any ounce of praise they can get, as far as i'm concerned. Especially thanks to Mike Love further tarnishing the bands legacy. sales@glassathome.com (David Coram)

1) The sound at the beginning of "I know there's an answer" is, I think, guitar and piano played simultaenously. 2) This is the album that changed the direction of my life. As a classical performer my career was founded on pooh-pooing anything "popular", as all my colleagues do/did, then someone furtively played me Brian's 1995 "I just wasn't made for these times" disc and I totally and completely went for it. It wasn't long before I was on to Pet Sounds and I am here to tell you that apart from "I'm Waiting For the Day" and "Sloop Jon B" (which doesn't belong here) it's the best written and best performed song cycle in the history of music. The title track and all the stuff near the end (particularly I wasn't made and Caroline, no) are just mind-bendingly well put together. It all makes me sway gently inside. All the other albums have one really great song you could take away and make a great compilation with. This needs two taking away to be perfect. dmaliniak@penton.com

I discovered this album just a year or so ago, and relatively late in life, mind you. I just turned 46. I am a life-long Beatlemaniac and was always aware of the Beach Boys, of course, but never was much of a fan. The surf/sun/cars/girls/sand between your toes stuff just never did a lot for me. But when I started listening to Pet Sounds, I found the melodies insinuating themselves into my consciousness. They won't leave. They've even crowded out Coltrane, and God Only Knows how much I love Coltrane. There's just not much not to like about Pet Sounds. Incidentally, I have also heard the Pet Sounds Sessions box set... very interesting and worth a listen for sure for Pet Sounds fans. gag05@bigpond.com.au

This is way too overrated. slow mediocre melodies(“Sloop John B” being an exception) drowned in dated orchestration aint exactly the best listening experience. Give me “Herman’s Hermits Greatest Hits” any day! besides their awful cover of “Dandy” every song is a winner. Why they so underrated for? jb2533@hotmail.com (Matt Byrd)

PET SOUNDS IS ONE OF THE GREATEST ALBUMS OF ALL TIME!! Pet Sounds, more so than anything by the Beatles, is pure genius. The orchestration is sublime, as well as the few, well-textured intrumentals. The lyrics are proufoundly sad, they are possibly a bit too.... yearning? for me, but they do fine, they do VERY well. I gotta say, Mark, you really hit the head of the nail with this review. Pet Sounds, Blonde On Blonde, and Born To Run, these are the absolute top three albums of all time! In my humble opinion..... but why do two of those have only 8 little cirlces!? Well, because I'm probably wrong. (a couple weeks later) Oh jeez, I(matthewbyrd@hotmail.com, I hope I signed in right) had to comment again (jcb2533@homtail.com is me too), this album is the best! Bloody, bloody brilliant! I'm not even British and I'm saying that! I just read the Pitchfork magazine review of the Pet Sounds reissue......... and I actually think I'm pissed off! That damn reviewer missed every point possible! I think I hate pitchfork, I'm not even going to capitalize their name, bastards. JOHN.J.DOYLE@nuim.ie

Maaaaan...... Pet Sounds makes my ears cum. "That's Not Me" deserves kudos from the gods above, below and in between, for making Mike Love(less) sound like a human being, as opposed to a "Terrible C***" (C.) Richard E. Grant. The most perfect of all perfect 10's. Now i'm off to clean myself up a bit. Toodle pips. ddickso2@uccs.edu

You might be wondering why I'm sending emails on $%@!&^ Beach Boys albums at 2 am, ET, on a frickin' Friday night. Well, I'll tell you. It's because of two dashes-- The thing aboot this album that really sticks in the craw is the fact that a good number of the tracks on here really sound like something from a particularly tourist-esque James Bond movie, complete with commentary from Mr. Albert Broccoli himself. Neat-o. Highlights include the four hits, "You Still Believe in Me" nasal football player extravaganza "I'm Waiting for the Day," lost Mary Poppins classic "I Know There's an Answer", cute lil' hit of mine "Here Today" and my ass. Y'know, one often wonders in this world if one should just join the rugby team, gain ninety pounds of muscle and forget all this "bein' smart" crap. Sure, everyone goes to you for the math answers and the differential equation glory, but do you have second-degree burns on your johnson? DO YOU HAVE SECOND-DEGREE BURNS ON YOUR JOHNSON!!?!!&&$# NO!! NOT SO MUCH AS AN ABRASION!!! AND GOD--DAMN! IF THAT AIN'T THE ASSFREGGGGIN' MEANIN' OF LIFE until the days of office space and general depressing comedy by the makers of Beavis and Oh wait, the Beach Boys~? Yeah, that's exactly what Brian Wilson was thinkin' at the time when he wrote Pet Sounds, that fine foxy insane man, him. Thank God I wasn't drunk when I wrote this. Otherwise, we'd be talking about the actual "Mr." Johnson from Sesame Street. FUCK. . . my HEARTBORKEN. . . EMOTIONS. But God bless the Beach Boys. They dull about 6.8% of the pain. 9.5 and don't stop thinkin' about tomorrow's shot down in flames. Yesterday's literally gone, yesterday's literally gone. . . (It's 12:15 over here.) tad033@hotmail.com

It's a little late for all this, but....

PET SOUNDS, best album of all time, no question.

PARTY! -- best comedy album of all time.

Mark, U'r a BIG middle-period fan & cut the Boys A LOT more slack than I do. FRIENDS is 1 of the worst albums ever, but all the rest from SMILEY SMILE thru at least CARL & THE PASSIONS have some GREAT overlooked stuff on them -- "Gettin' Hungry," "I'd Love Just Once to See You," "Passing By," "I Can Hear Music," "Our Prayer," "Cabinessence," "This Whole World," "It's About Time," "Til I Die," "Surf's Up," "Marcella," "California Saga," "The Trader," "Good Time," "Johnny Carson," "Good Timin'," etc....

GOOD VIBRATIONS BOX SET, immensely frustrating, Dspite all the great stuff on it & the great sound -- the (early) stuff that was LEFT OFF makes me crazy.

& what did U think of Brian Wilson's SMILE reconstruction from a couple years back? I thot the fairly-new previously-officially-unheard stuff was pretty good, but Brian's voice (on the obvious classics) is SHOT! Ben

The only beach boys album I have. I have it in mono too. Big wall of sound, excellent production, harmonies... Yes, the majority of these songs rule. My favorite is "I Just Wasn't Made for These Times". I spent most of my music life being a beach boys hater, thinking they were basically a bunch of pretty boys who made faggy music. Hearing this album for the first time a year ago changed all that (I just couldn't stop hearing about it). Can't quite decide on a final rating, but this is a very accomplished album. I also love the story of Brian wanting to create the best album of all time after hearing "Rubber Soul" or something like that.

T

But let us not dwell on what might have been. Instead let's shake our heads in pity at these bits and pieces of unfinished work all haphazardly stuck together in a drugged-up insane haze. Gone are the billion instruments of Pet Sounds, replaced by the scary organ and tinkling noises of "Wind Chimes," the bass, jug drum and moronic tape speed manipulation of "She's Goin' Bald," the piano and stupid giggly voices of "Little Pad," the simple organ chords and rhythmic tapping of "With Me Tonight," the loud distorted goofball children's keyboard, tappy noises and atrocious vocals of "Gettin' Hungry," the minimal organ drone of "Wonderful" and the piano tapping of "Whistle In." These are extremely EMPTY songs musically speaking, which makes the excellent harmony/overlapping vocals sound all the more impressive. If you like them Beach Boys harmonies, you'll probably be able to enjoy a good deal of Smiley Smile.

Two final important notes. (A) When I was a kid, I had a dog named Smiley. He hacked and coughed a lot, much as I'm sure the Beach Boys did while taking bong hits during the production of this album. (B) I grew up loathing the song "Good Vibrations." And why? Because I fucking DESPISE Sunkist Orange Beverage! Those goddamned commercials made me associate one with the other, so I grew up malfunctional, believing that Brian Wilson's genius piece of psychedelia was about a bunch of assholes diving off of cliffs and drinking shittyass orange cola. It took forty-five years of electroshock therapy and fourteen lobotomies before I finally realized how incredible the tune is. How's about that theremin, you people who've heard the song? How's about I don't even bother to describe how the song goes, you people who haven't heard the song?

Speaking of bad cola, I haven't touched Mountain Dew since that hot muggy summer day when I drank a can, got onto a tire swing, spun around in a circle for about 10 minutes and vomited all over the place. Granted, this took place on the grounds of the church where my mother used to work, so it's possible that my body was simply reacting to the abhorrent presence of Jesus Christ.

I can't drink grape juice or eat white chocolate either, again due to childhood vomiting instances. Whiskey and Screwdrivers are also out. See, it's just really hard to eat or drink something after you've tasted it on the way UP. Because after that point, it just tastes like VOMIT to you!

At least, that's how I live my life. I'm dreading the day that I puke up a bunch of oxygen.

Which is why I'm slicing these GILLS into my sides as we speak! Do fish bleed this much at first too?

Reader Comments stray_toasters@juno.com (Andrew R.)

When I was 11 my dad made me a burrito with mushrooms and cheese. Two days later I was thinking of it while puking. After that I could never eat mushrooms again. But sometime last year I discovered a new-found fondness for mushrooms - I started eating them on my pizza and soup and thought of them as just something that grows out of the ground (or makes people trip). Get over yourself and start eating white chocolate again, you may find you like it (grape juice sucks, though). mwest@crsoftwareinc.com (Michael J. West)

Well, I for one am glad to see a 7 rating on Smiley Smile, because I think history has been unfair to it. People are far more likely to judge it for what it isn't (Smile) than for what it is. And what it is is a pretty nice, if uncertain and occasionally disturbing, slice of Brian's muse. His The Madcap Laughs, if you will. In fact, I think I've just made the best, most sturdy comparison you could make for this album: portrait of the artist on the verge of psychological and creative collapse. Which is why it teeters over that line between brilliance ("Wind Chimes") and madness ("Gettin' Hungry"), and pure insignificance ("You're Welcome"). In fact, "Fall Breaks" does all of that, all by itself. Well maybe not insignificance...but still, the point is, Smiley Smile is better than it gets credit for being. And can I just say, I can't stop loving "She's Goin' Bald"? Jcjh20@aol.com (Joe H.)

Well, i love this album! It's no where near what Smile was but i don't like to compare it to Smile. It wasn't and isn't supposed to be a substitute for Smile. It was basically a quick throw together of some tunes and really weird, underproduced demos of some Smile songs. But why is the album so eerie and dark and have a totally different mood than Smile? Smile was mostly hilarious, idiosyncratic, beautiful, and a genius creation (if finished)! This is confusing, disturbing, and just plain bizarre! Not only does Brian sound crazy on this but the whole band does! They must of been doin' a lot of drugs at the sessions! It's still quite beautiful though, and i think it further shows how amazing their voices were. They make a half assed album, and yet the melodies and voices and sometimes the eerie moods still totally make the songs sound really damn good to me, although they were obviously capable of much more at that point. "Heroes And Villians" is brilliant however, and shows how amazing Smile would of been if finished. There's another version that was intended for Smile, but i think this version is a lot better, and more cohesive (not to mention more commercial, IMO). The harmonies are amazingly complex and brilliant, and especially the chorus part, which is gorgeous and hypnotic, and hopefully is one of the many things that should prove the Beach Boys weren't some "boy band", they were incredibly amazing singers and Brian (and the underrated Dennis, too) was one of the best songwriters and producers ever. "Good Vibrations" is also a classic, but nowadays i find "Heroes And Villians" to be even better. The other songs don't come close to sounding this produced and brilliant, but i love it almost the same way i love The Madcap Laughs. "Little Pad" has a strange intro with some stoned laughing but otherwise it's a lovely song and makes me wonder what Brian would of done if he completed the song with more parts and lyrics and stuff. Same with "Whistle In", "Gettin Hungry" (awesome fuckin' song, actually!), "With Me Tonight", though what's there is still lovely. The Smile songs are done inferior to the Smile versions but done completely different, especially "Wind Chimes" and "Wonderful", where originally they were innocent and glorious sounding, here they sound really creepy, bizarre, and low key. "Vegetables" is the only song i don't like much on here, because it's done a lot better on the Smile version. Here it's a lot more uninteresting, since it's just bass and vocals mostly. "She's Goin' Bald" was also taken from a Smile fragment, called "He Gives Speeches", and here given the Smiley Smile treatment with silly lyrics, bizarre sped up vocals and a few short extra parts thrown together. I'm glad you like "Fall Breaks And Back To Winter" a lot, because i think it's further brilliant use of complex harmonies with some creepy organ and stuff and not just some silly piece of rubbish, or whatever those "hip" kids thought back in 1967. Overall, i'd give this a real high 8 or low 9. Just a really entertaining album because of how weird and off the cuff everything sounds, and i enjoy stuff like that! I'd rather have a complete Smile of course, but there's no reason to blame the band for this. Brian just was not capable of finishing it in time. Just enjoy what is there. esweenor@charter.net (Eric Sweenor)

Absolutely freakish. Kinda disturbing, too. You get to hear Brian Wilson go totally insane on record. The Woody Woodpecker noises on "Fall Breaks..." say it all. Probably the most interesting Beach Boys LP, however. 7/10, I guess. jhmusicman12@hotmail.com

Is it just me, or is "Little Pad" a really cool song? I think the laughter in the beginning is pointless, but everything afterwards? I love those sounds in the squishy middle thing. And the melody with the ukelele? Can't be topped! I do suppose it's just me though. Matthew Ward

Am I the only one who friggin' loves this album? It's just so whimsical and fun... gives me the same feeling that listening to some of the best Syd Barrett stuff does. Obviously, it's not “Smile” and doesn't even try to be. But it has good versions of several Smile songs--it's hard to lose with an album with Heroes and Villians, Wind Chimes, Wonderful, Vegetables and Good Vibrations on it. And some of the non-Smile stuff like “Little Pad” or “She's Going Bald” is nearly as good—these songs are just so weird and cool. I like the nearly non-existent instrumentation—it makes everything sound really minimal, and helps focus on the harmonies. I'd give this one a nine—slightly weak 9, but it's still one of the best Beach Boys albums.

S

(seven months later)

Okay, I'm home from the internment camp, so let me continue. I'm sick. It's a sinus thing. My SINUS is being a big MINUS and oozing an endless stream of bloody mucus down my nose and throat. Luckily, it's the Thanksgiving Holiday, so I don't have the "misfortune" of having to take a few days off work. CONVENIENTLY, I got sick over a four-day weekend. Thank "goodness." But the space between my upper lip and my nose is completely dried out due to my constant wipings with ass wipe material (there are those who say I should be using Kleenex to wipe my nose, but I figure if a handful of live fire ants is good enough for my ass...). Even worse (by "Weird Al" Yankovic), I'm listening to all these albums I bought in Australia and unfortunately associating them brainwise with being sick. Hawkwind and Sparks especially - both great bands (except for Sparks' later - and shitty - material), but I'll probably never want to hear them again because I know they're just going to remind me of swallowing gallons and gallons of snot.

There are those who say I should be drinking orange juice instead of snot, but I figure "Fight Fire with Fire" (by Alternativica). Now that I've gotten us back onto the topic of music and misery, I'd like to speak a bit about The Beach Boy's Wild Honey. So let me turn on my new advanced "Voice Input" technology and free my hands for other things like knitting a cardigan.

This album sounds like muffin the be no not muffin muffin delete go back delete fuck no thing no thing the Beach Boys have ever nun bun fuck how do you delete erase done before.

It has an especially bass-heavy mix under which are buried a bunch of excited Carl Wilson shouted vocals and loosely harmonized backup voices. They've NEVER used a vocal approach this unpracticed before, but it sounds great with this music, which is the OTHER reason this sounds like nothing they've ever done. It's a bunch of groovy sustained piano lines! It's been said that this was meant to be a "soul" album, and you can see that in some of the songs, but it's definitely more along the lines of Lovin' Spoonful white person piano pop, with slight Stevie Wonder aspirations indicated by the occasional horn line. Very upbeat, happy and totally enjoyable. Just a bunch of really solid melodic pop songs with very little of the experimentation that drove Brian out of his patootie the previous year. It's too bad his brain was too damaged to say, "Hey! I can make a really good album without overworking myself to exhaustion! Maybe I DON'T need to lock myself in the bedroom with a stack of drugs and pornography for four years!"

Reader Comments Jcjh20@aol.com (Joe H.)

I think this stuff is really rockin'! It's nice to see them rock out like this as a band, which they haven't done in years or this rockin' for that matter. They continue the sparce production of Smiley Smile too, though this time it's appropriate and not confusing! My favorite is the soulful "Here Comes The Night", which has some amazing harmonies on the chorus! Too bad they shit all over it in 1979, but here it totally cooks! I also love the catchy and exciteable (especially Carl's enthusiastic lead vocal!) title track, with an awesome use of the theremin once again and a great organ solo that sounds very much like what average psychadelic pop bands were doing at the time (which is why it hit the top 40). "Darlin'" is usually the highlight of this album and it is also another excellent rock popper (that hit the top 20, which was successful for the Beach Boys concidering the time it was released). "Aren't You Glad", "I Was Made To Love Her", "A Thing Or Two", and "How She Boogalooed It" (which is actually kinda weak, concidering it was the first time the other dudes in the band took a stab at songwriting without Brian besides a few of Carl's instrumentals) also show a more rocking and soulful R&B influenced band, which is quite interesting compared to their earlier albums! "Let The Wind Blow" and "Country Air" does contain some awesome harmonies though, "Mama Said" is a fragment from Smile that i guess Brian used to fill up the record a bit, and "I'd Love Just Once To See You" is also a delightful acoustic tune about the growing isolation and solitude that will soon take over his life, although the ending is cute. I'll give this album a 9, since there's not really a song i dislike on here, though "How She Boogalooed It" is really nothing special at all, and i prefer the "Mama Said" fragment being part of "Vegetables" on the Smile version.

I

Supposedly, this album is supposedly supposed to create a mood of peace and tranquility, but that's certainly not what I get out of it! "Meant For You" lures you into the insane cult and the rest of the album is a spooky ride through the insanity of late-60s hippie hell. First you try to keep your brain from exploding as the title track's chorus features five voices rising higher, higher, higher until you manically scrape bloody lines into your own face. Then "Wake The World" brings in LSD-addled Brian Wilson alternating a catchy tuba chorus with a REALLY creepy "mesmerizing" Sesame Street-for-pedophiles piano verse. "Be Here In The Morning" continues the insanity with an out-of-control falsetto vocal, screwball chord changes, a klunky waltz beat and loony vocal effects in the chorus, which revolves around a moronic shout of "Ah-ah!" and about five million voices harmonizing one word together. And it continues like this for the next 20 minutes. Maybe I'm just more paranoid than most, but the whole fucking album makes me want to lock my doors and never go outside again!

This is NOT peaceful music - it's corruption and schizophrenia masquerading as peaceful music. Regardless of Mike Love's Transcendental Meditation b.s., everybody in the world knows the guy is completely incapable of handling his temper. You can almost imagine him strangling a prostitute with a wire hanger as he sings the frighteningly cultish ode to "Anna Lee, The Healer" (unless that's Al Jardine - in which case replace "strangling" with "giggling and lightly poking at). Not to mention -- if this was supposed to be a "peaceful" album, why do all the vocal harmonies sound like they're pulled from a psychopathic horror movie? Oh! That's right. The chief songwriter was in the grips of paranoid schizophrenia.

Musically, you'll find very soft, odd piano mush without a hard edge to be found. But the hippyish weirdo attempts at gentleness end up sounding like Charles Manson after they're filtered through Brian's sick mind. Also, there's lots of horns and violins and things.

And it has Dennis Wilson's first two songs! And they're GREAT! His voice sounds more mature than the others. Unlike the wavery Carl, falsettoed Brian, scraggly Al and whatever Mike, Dennis sounds like an adult. An adult who can write some really fan-frigging-tastic songs with awesomely dramatic chord changes. Try to tell me "Be Still" doesn't sound EXACTLY like the stuff Pink Floyd was doing on More and around there. TRY IT!

(Did you try it? I stopped paying attention for a second there.)

To be honest, I only find ONE of these songs peaceful - Brian's bossa nova (or so I'm told) "Busy Doin' Nothin'," which honestly DOES sound like an overstressed man cheering himself up. Happy, groovy acoustic guitar picking and strumming, along with some kickbutt oboes or something. But that's IT. If you're looking to "feel good," don't buy this one, for Christ's sake. There are some amazing songs on here, but what makes them amazing is how SICK and WRONG they are - the most famous example of course being "Transcendental Meditation," an upbeat rocker with a disturbing dissonant break and nervous yelp between each eerily harmonized verse. Why on earth is the ONLY rocking song on the album called "Transcendental Meditation"????

You know, it's amazing how many questions in life you can answer with the phrase "Brian Wilson's schizophrenia."

Like this one - What is the first song on Brian Wilson's copy of Sonic Youth's Sister album?

SEE WHAT I MEAN?!?!?!? I MEAN, I TOTALLY JUST PULLED THAT QUESTION OUT OF A HAT!!!! IT COULD HAVE BEEN ANYTHING!!!

Reader Comments mwest@crsoftwareinc.com (Michael J. West)

Really? THIS is Brian Wilson's favorite Beach Boys album? Wow. I mean, it's good and all, but I mean--really? His favorite? Really? Aw, and I like "Meant for You!" AND "Be Still!" You're a harsh mistress, Prindle. But you are right about "Busy Doin' Nothin" being very nice (that was what you were saying, right?), and most especially about Dennis Wilson, who developed into one HELL of a songwriter. I miss him. Jcjh20@aol.com (Joe H.)

I can see why this is Brian's favorite Beach Boys album, as it'd be my favorite Beach Boys album too, if not for the existance of Pet Sounds, of course. I love every damn song on this album. Even the strange "Transcendental Meditation". My favorite being "Busy Doin' Nothin'", because that song has such a brilliant melody. I wish "Meant For You" was longer, because that sure is the most gorgeous 40 second song i've ever heard. "Diamond Head" is also a brilliant Smile-esque instrumental, which manages to be bizarre and beautiful at the same time. Dennis's songs are also fantastic, and i wish he was more known as a songwriter, because he truely had so much talent and gift for writing gorgeous music that unfortunatly went overlooked. The title track is also a underrated classic. Why wasn't it a hit? I give this a 9. Trfesok@aol.com

Well, this is certainly the most unique take on the Friends album that I've ever read! I don't know if I quite agree with it, but I can relate to it to a certain extent. I first purchased it in the late 70's, when Warner/Reprise released it a "twofer" with Smiley Smile. Now, that one is definitely the band's psychotic album. But, hearing Friends right next to it made me feel that some of SS's dry, definitely disturbing giddiness was just under the surface on Friends. But, still, I can't help but wonder if your opinion is biased too much by your knowledge of the band's personal history. More objectively speaking, one could look at it as the band's attempt to deny reality (which is why the turbulent hippie generation rejected the album at the time -- the sentiments expressed were "irrelevant."). But I prefer it to think of it as the Beach Boys sincerely trying to find some peace and tranquility in the middle of all the chaos surrounding them (or, in Brian's case, inside him). In that sense, the album has grown considerably on me over time, because that's a feeling that everyone can relate to. That the Beach Boys were still trying to express optimism in the midst of turmoil was admirable. Even if the attempt failed, that doesn't invalidate Friends as one of the more sincere artistic attempts from the group. JOHN.J.DOYLE@nuim.ie

A beautiful album. 10/10. As Denny later remarked, "Loneliness is a very special place". Agreed, my friend. This is such a glorious listening experience.

H

That's why Stack-O-Tracks comes as such a godsend. It's the original Beach Boys backing tracks of 15 different great songs! So not only do you get the chance to pretend you're all five of the Beach Boys (six if you count Bruce Johnston, and seven if you count David Marks) singing in harmony with yourself, but if your mouth is on the fritz (cavity) one day, you can just sit back and revel in all the really neat things that Brian put in the mixes that you'd never noticed before because of all those voices clogging up the Expressway To Your (h)Ear(t). And you'll do this - "!!!!!!!"

However, let me add that this is only a great listening experience for people who know these songs already. And I don't just mean the classics either. The album also has stuff like "Darlin'," "Salt Lake City" and "Catch A Wave" that you're gonna want to sing along with and not just stand around going, "Gee. Strumming." Because the vocal melodies are spectacular! You know, when you just look at all of Brian Wilson's best songs, like "Wouldn't It Be Nice" and "In My Room" and "Our Favorite Recording Sessions," it's really hard to NOT agree that the guy was some kind of genius. The stuff he came up with was so SMART - and CATCHY! And I don't throw the term "genius" around loosely.

(Note to self: Remove "List of Fifty Billion Geniuses" from web site before posting this review).

(Except Pam Dawber. Leave her.)

Reader Comments mdenster@yahoo.com (Adrian Denning)

It's great fun trying to sing all the parts, at the same time. I usually fall over and can't speak for a week.

T

Brian (Wilson) is fading out of the picture fast, only co-writing FIVE of these 12 songs. His slack is picked up by his brother Dennis, who wrote three songs on here, two of which are just GREAT and along the same lines as the ones he wrote for Friends. Actually, one of them is a Charles Manson song, I'm led to believe. Dennis was kind of being stalked by the Manson Family at this time (seriously - this part isn't a joke). Rumor has it that he enjoyed the free sex, but Charlie freaked his shit RIGHT up. Dennis later denied that he'd spent much time with Charlie, but it wasn't TRUE!!!!! I WAS THERE, MAN!!!!!

I wasn't really there.

Ah! See??? Now he's even got ME denying it!!! The power of suggestion, my friend! The power of suggestion!

Don't blame me if you like some of this album ("Cabinessence," "Never Learn Not To Love") and despise other parts of it ("I Can Hear Music," "Cotton Fields"). That's NOT MY FAULT. If you'll recall, I went on Real People in 1978 and made it clear that I had nothing to do with the up-and-down quality of this release. I was on between the chicken that played Tic-Tac-Toe and the guy who got hit by lightning eleven different times (he later committed suicide to escape the endless neurological pain, btw - I WAS THERE, M. oh who am I kidding, I'm never there when anything interesting happens.

(*hops in car and drives away, 30 seconds before the Loch Ness Monster crawls out of the ocean, goes to the snack machine, gets a Whatchamacallit and disappears back into the deep*)

Reader Comments mwest@crsoftwareinc.com (Michael J. West)

What kind of half-witted halfwit doesn't like "I Can Hear Music?" Really! I mean, if nothing else, Carl sings it so beautifully! Leave it alone, you monster. Oh. And anything with "Cabinessence" on it is worth the money. Anything. (I like "Do It Again" and "I Went To Sleep" too.) Huh? Oh, the album. If Friends was a 7, 20/20 has gotta be an 8, right? Jcjh20@aol.com

This is one of those rare albums where the 2nd half is better than the first half (same with Surf's Up). The first half is spotty, with awesomeness like "Do It Again", "I Can Hear Music" and "All I Wanr To Do", and some mediocrity like "Bluebirds Over The Mountain". "Be With Me" is pretty underrated though. The second half is awesome, every song starting with "Cotton Fields" is totally The Beach Boys still at their prime, with even some Smile songs like "Our Prayer" and "Cabinessence", which are 2 of the most mindblowingly beautiful and confusing (well the latter at least is certainly bizaare) songs they've ever done. "Time To Get Alone" should of been a big hit for the guys in a perfect world. I guess overall i really like this album more than i thought. The only songs concidered below-average for Beach Boys standards is "Bluebirds" and "The Nearest Faraway Place", which actually is kinda nice anyway. The material is mostly really good and i really enjoy this album! I give it a low 9.

T

What else is on here - "Wake The World"? "Aren't You Glad"? "Their Hearts Were Full Of Spring"? Come on, where's "Surfin' USA"? "Help Me Rhonda"? What were they trying to do, convince somebody they weren't completely irrelevant? If so, "Bluebirds Over The Mountain" was certainly no way to do it. That song is an atrocity, and always has been. If you haven't heard it, acknowledge that your life is at least a couple of percentage points happier than those of us who have.

Mike Love surprisingly has some pretty funny lines on here ("We're gonna take a little bit of Britain back with us. probably wring it out of our socks," "This next song is one that we do a capella. Which means `Nude.' No, I'm sorry. Lost my mind for a minute there."), but his voice is so much more jaded and tired-sounding than on the original young excitable live album from a half-decade earlier. The music business is a cruel place, even for great bands like Ebn-Ozn.

My final synapses is as follows: Good live album!

Oh, sorry - that second word was an action verb. I feel very strongly that it's good when an album lives.

Reader Comments johnvillanova@verizon.net

Great F*ckin' live album....I actually get chills listening to it......no overdubs!!!!.......In answer to your question of why are they using a guitar in the intro to "Wouldn't It Be Nice",.............. because the original record has a guitar in the intro! Whadja think that was? A keyboard??? You'd better go back to: WESTERN STUDIOS SATURATED IN REVERB AND ECHO 101 class............................damn rookie! (sorry Mark, I needn't be so cruel....but y'know) Matthew Ward

I got this album on cassette when I was a teenager, and loved it. I recently got the CD version (paired with the first live album), and I was kinda curious to see whether it would stand up to my memories. Actually, I think I like it even better now—it's prolly my favorite BB release after Pet Sounds. It kicks serious butt—great setlist, tigh