“What’s the word... ” my colleague asked “when you say something about someone without realising they’re standing right behind you?”

Unfortunate? Untimely? Unwise?

They’re all right but they’re also not quite what he was after. The guy was after a something a little more specific. He was also after a hole to hide in.

The English language is growing, although somehow it doesn’t seem to be growing fast enough.

Just how many English words there are depends on who you ask.

The Oxford Dictionary says “there is no single sensible answer to this question”, which is probably the best response to most of my questions in life.

Having dissed the question, the Oxford Dictionary folk then estimate the answer to be about a quarter of a million — although that, according to some digital data crunchers, is way off the mark.

The Global Language Monitor, which uses computer power to count these things says, as of January 1, 2016, there were 1,035,877.3 words. We’re a bit confused about the point three of a word, but we’re hoping it’s that thing when you have the start of a word on a tip of your tongue.

“You want another word? Ahrrgg …”

“Thanks, that’ll do.”

The Global Language Monitor word count is backed by a similar figure estimated in a Google-Harvard joint project.

Each year there’s always a news story to be had when a dictionary adds a new word to their books. But adding words to our collection is not just an annual thing.

The Global Language Monitor estimates that a new word is created every 98 minutes, or about 14.7 words a day.

Go into a movie and there’s a new word waiting for you when you come out.

Shakespeare was not just a master of words, he was a maker of them. More specifically, he made up 1700 words.

If you’re telling a story about the “zany” time you decided to “undress” and do something “obscene” in your “bedroom”, you have just used four words that Shakespeare gifted to the world. You have also had a very good weekend.

If Shakespeare could make up that many words, then surely we can lift our game.

Because, for all the words we’re adding to the lexicon, there never seems to be enough.

Like my colleague who wanted a word for that foot-in-mouth moment, I found myself searching for a word the other day.

For me, movie trailers are those things you always see before the movie starts and are wiped from your mind by the time the movie is over.

What do you call that phenomenon? Sure, it’s a sign of middle age but I’ve got plenty of signs of that.

You could call it advertising amnesia but there has to be something better than that.

Pop culture makes up words all the time, with phrases that start as a punchline progressing to something proper.

media_camera Tina Fey, aka. 30 Rock’s Liz Lemon, understands the need for more words, in fact, she created her own to describe frustration: “Blerg”. (Pic: NBC/Nicole Rivelli)

When I was telling a mate about the night I spent last week putting together an Ikea couch, he issued an understanding “Blerg!”, channelling the 30 Rock character Liz Lemon who turned the name of her Ikea couch into an expression of frustration.

And so, in the spirit of Liz Lemon, I’m giving birth to a new English word.

Norsborg: (definition) a movie trailer that defies recollection. Also, Rod’s new couch.

That’s one down. It’s just 1700 more and I’ll be better than the Bard.

rod.chester@news.com.au