Batman: The Line

Issue #3: Wonder Woman

[We see the Batmobile driving down an empty highway. The roof is still dented from Cyborg and Batman's fight. It is midday, and the sun is high in the sky.]

Word box: Hammond, Indiana.

Word box: 2,200 miles to go.

[Cut to the interior of the Batmobile. Bruce is still driving the car. Joker is now out of his straightjacket, but he is still wearing his orange prison jumpsuit. Joker is staring out of his window. There is a long moment of silence before he finally speaks.]

JOKER: I'm bored.

BATMAN: I don't care.

[Joker turns to look at Batman.]

JOKER: But Batsy. We've been driving for hours and you won't even talk to me. I can only be alone with my own thoughts for so long before I get… [Close up on Joker's eyes.] Stabby.

BATMAN: I let you out of your straightjacket. That's about as much courtesy as you're going to get out of me.

JOKER: Does this thing at least play some tunes?

[Joker switches on the Batmobile's radio. AC/DC's "Highway to Hell" starts playing.]

JOKER: Ooh! I love this song!

[Without even looking, Batman reaches down and clicks off the radio. Joker scowls and switches it back on.]

JOKER: [Scowling.] I like this song.

BATMAN: I don't.

[He goes to change the station, but it changes to Gnarls Barkley's "Crazy". Joker grins at Batman. Neither of them says anything. Batman just decides to leave it. They ride like that for a while, Joker jamming out to the music while Bruce fumes.]

[Cut to an hour later. The radio is now playing Bonnie Tyler's "Holding Out for a Hero." Joker is scowling, obviously unhappy with the choice of music.]

Word box: One hour later.

[Joker goes to reach down to change the station, but Bruce grabs his wrist.]

BATMAN: Don't.

JOKER: You're kidding me.

BATMAN: Don't.

[Bruce releases Joker's wrist, and he turns and glares out of the window.]

JOKER: You are such a caricature.

[Cut to an hour later. Both Joker and Batman are head-banging to Queen's "Bohemian Rhapsody." In a genuine moment of friendship, both are singing together and actually smiling at each other.]

BATMAN and JOKER: So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?! So you think you can love me and leave me to di-i-ie?!

[Cut to an hour later. Joker is lying face-down in his seat, which is reclined horizontally.]

Word box: Brady, Nebraska.

Word box: 1,476 miles to go.

JOKER: Baaaaaaaaaaaaaats.

[No response.]

JOKER: Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaats.

[Still no response.]

JOKER: Bats!

BATMAN: [Exasperated.] What?!

JOKER: I'm hungry.

BATMAN: You've been eating the provisions I had in the backseat for the past hour.

JOKER: [Sitting up.] Okay. One, those "provisions" would be turned down by a starving mouse, and two, that was actually six hours ago.

[Bruce checks the clock. Joker is right. They've been on the road for nearly twenty-two hours. Bruce is used to late nights, so this is normal for him.]

BATMAN: Okay, fine. I'll pull off and get some fast food.

JOKER: Fast food? No way, Bats! I can't be eating Big Belly Burger or some other garbage. How do you think I say so thin?

BATMAN: Are you serious?

JOKER: Not typically. I'm making an exception.

BATMAN: [Sighing.] If we go in somewhere, you're going to need to wear my holo-mask.

JOKER: Oh, so now you're embarrassed by me?

[Bruce doesn't even respond. He just shoots Joker a look.]

JOKER: Okay, okay. I get it. I'll wear the stupid mask. But you'd better not make me look like some schmuck. I've got to keep up appearances.

[Cut to a bit later, and the Batmobile is parked at a diner. It's some kind of stereotypical franchise restaurant, like, say, a "Donny's."]

[Cut to the interior of the Batmobile, at Bruce is putting the holo-mask on the Joker. With a press of a button, the face shifts. The face couldn't look any less like the Joker: He has thinning brown hair, a chubby face, a thick brown moustache, and a stubby nose. Joker has also changed into plain street clothes: a green t-shirt, grey shorts, and white tennis shoes.]

JOKER: Ooh! How do I look? How do I look? [Joker checks his reflection in the rear-view mirror. He smiles, then looks disappointed.] Oh, Bats. I thought I said not to make me look like a schmuck!

[Batman isn't paying attention. He is taking off his cowl, leaving his face bare. He has almost forgotten who he's sharing a car with.]

JOKER: [Cackling.] Oh, I get it! You give me a mask, and you put on yours! Brilliant! They'll never suspect us.

[Bruce doesn't say anything, but he's clearly uncomfortable by this statement. He ignores Joker and continues changing into street clothes.]

[Cut to the interior of the restaurant. Bruce and Joker are seated at a table, but if one didn't know any better, they'd never recognize them. Joker is, of course, wearing the holo-mask. Bruce has used minor makeup to change his skin tone slightly and is wearing green-colored contacts and a blonde wig. A waitress walks up to serve them.]

WAITRESS: Hi, and welcome to Donny's. I'm your server, Jessica. [She gives them napkins and silverware.] Can I get you anything to drink?

BATMAN: [Pleasantly.] Water is fine, thanks.

JOKER: Can I have a Soder Cola?

WAITRESS: Is Zesti Cola okay?

JOKER: Oh, sure. Is Monopoly money okay?

BATMAN: Okay. He'll have a water too.

WAITRESS: [Surprisingly, she is giggling at Joker's joke.] Okay. I'll be back in a minute with your drinks. [She walks off.]

BATMAN: Stop it.

JOKER: You stop it. I hate Zesti.

BATMAN: We're trying not to draw attention to ourselves. Or did you forget?

JOKER: Okay, okay. I got it.

[Cut to a bit later. Bruce and Joker are telling stories over their food.]

JOKER: You're kidding!

BATMAN: No, really. So I'm coming at him with the rock, and he still doesn't see me. So I poke him with it, just with enough time for him to see the green of it. I don't know if you know this, but Superman can jump over six-hundred feet in the air, and I swear he jumped all of those in a second when he saw it!

[Joker is giggling hysterically at this point, and Bruce is holding back laugher too.]

BATMAN: So he finally comes back down, and he takes the rock out of my hand, and I swear he's thinking about punting me into a wall. And I just can't help myself, I say, "Hey, are you feeling okay? You're looking a little green!"

[The two explode in laughter. Joker is trying to catch his breath, to no avail. Bruce is laughing heartily, his head in his hands. Finally, Joker is able to catch his breath long enough to speak.]

JOKER: Bats, I have to be honest, I had no idea you were such a… Joker! Ha!

[Bruce leans back, finally calming down.]

BATMAN: Well, you know, it's like you said. I have to keep up appearances.

JOKER: Hey, I have to take a leak. Can I..?

BATMAN: Oh, yeah, sure. I'm going to go pay. Meet me at the front counter.

JOKER: Sure, sure. [Joker stands up and goes to the bathroom in the back of the restaurant.]

[Cut to a few minutes later. Bruce is in line getting checked out. He suddenly hears a scream from across the way. He turns and sees Joker, still in the holo-mask, holding a small child at gunpoint. He is grinning that wild grin.]

JOKER: I'm not going to ask again. You can give me that or things can get really messy.

BATMAN: [Word box.] No.

[The child is sobbing. His parents are sitting, terrified, in their booth. The boy is clutching something tightly in his fist, although it's not very clear what it is. Bruce rushes over and grabs Joker by the arm, wrestling the gun from him.]

BATMAN: [Furiously.] What are you doing?!

[In that second, Joker gets a look of pure horror and confusion on his face.]

BATMAN: [Word box.] He doesn't know.

JOKER: [Dropping all playfulness from his voice, as sadly as possible] I'm...sorry. I didn't…

BATMAN: [Word box.] He doesn't know.

[The door to the diner flies open. A pair of police officers make their way over to them. The two share a look, realizing they're going to need to fight their way out.]

OFFICER 1: Sir, please lower the—

[As the officer gets close, Bruce grabs the man by the arm and flips him onto a table. He grabs the pistol from the officer's pocket, and he disassembles the gun into pieces that fall one at a time onto the floor. Before the officer can even regain his wits, Joker is on his partner. Joker lunges, tackling the officer to the ground. Though his face is still masked by the hologram, we can see that Joker grin coming through. He grips the man's neck as the patrons of the restaurant scream and flee. Bruce grabs Joker by the collar and hauls him off of the man.]

BATMAN: No! No killing!

[Joker tries to protest, but Bruce is already dragging him out by the collar. They exit the Donny's into the street. The patrons of the restaurant funnel into the street, desperately trying to flee from Joker and Bruce. Bruce opens the passenger side door and tosses Joker inside before getting into the driver's seat. The Batmobile tears away from the restaurant as police cruisers come down the street behind them.]

[Cut to the Batmobile's interior. Bruce is furious. Joker is sulking, trying to think of something to say.]

JOKER: Bats, I—

BATMAN: Not now, Joker.

[The police cars are still giving chase as Bruce tears onto the highway. Mercifully, the highway is mostly empty.]

BATMAN: Batmobile. Activate visual cloaking.

BATMOBILE: Understood, sir.

[The Batmobile begins to shimmer, and suddenly it fades from sight. The police cars come to a screeching halt as their target vanishes into thin air. Some of the officers get out of the cars and look off into the distance, puzzled.]

[Cut to the interior of the Batmobile. They are gone now, having given the officers the slip. Bruce is still fuming as Joker does his best to speak. This is a new feeling for him: he feels guilt. Quietly, Joker reaches into his pocket and pulls something out.]

JOKER: Here. I wanted it for you.

[It's a Batman action figure. Bruce realizes that this is what Joker was trying to take from the small boy. Bruce looks at Joker, and he doesn't know what to do here. Saying nothing, he reaches out and takes it.]

BATMAN: …Thanks.

[Joker grins, his sadness melted away.]

JOKER: So! Where to next, Batsy?

[Cut to sometime later. It is night time now. The Batmobile drives in darkness.]

Word box: Purple Sage, Wyoming.

Word box: 974 miles to go.

[Interior. Bruce has changed back into the Batsuit. He is looking through the windshield with night vision enabled on the screen. Joker is asleep in the passenger seat. He's removed the holo-mask, but he's still wearing his civilian clothes.]

BATMAN: [Word box.] I've always suspected, but I never had any proof.

[Close up on Joker's face. While he's sleeping, he looks almost peaceful.]

BATMAN: [Word box.] He didn't threaten that child because he really wanted to.

BATMAN: [Word box.] He did it because the thought hit him and he couldn't shake it.

[The next set of panels are all the same shot. It is shot from the backseat, looking at the windshield between the seats so that we can see the back of both Joker and Batman's seats.]

[The highway is seen through the green tint of night vision.]

BATMAN: [Word box.] I can do this. There might still be help for Joker yet.

[The next panel is the same, except now there is a faint row of lights at the edge of the horizon.]

BATMAN: [Word box.] I can still… Save…

[The next panel shows Bruce click off the night vision. The highway is still dark, except now there is a row of bright lights on the horizon. They continue to get bigger with every panel.]

BATMAN: [Word box.] Oh, no.

BATMAN: Joker, wake up.

[The Joker doesn't respond. Batman shakes him a little, trying to wake him up.]

BATMAN: Joker! Wake up now!

JOKER: Uh, what? I was having the most pleasant dream.

[The next panel is the same shot. Bruce is pointing at the lights on the horizon. Joker is rubbing the sleep out of his eyes.]

BATMAN: Look.

JOKER: [Yawns.] So what? It's a town.

BATMAN: No. We just passed though Purple Sage. There are no towns around for miles.

[Next panel. Bruce and Joker are both sitting upright now. The lights continue to grow bigger.]

JOKER: So what is it then?

BATMAN: I don't know, but I don't think it's anything—

[The next panel is still the same shot, except now there is a golden-handled sword protruding from the hood of the car. Sparks and chunks of metal are flying, and Bruce and Joker are bracing themselves against the doors.]

JOKER: Whoa!

BATMAN: Damn!

[The Batmobile loses control. The tires pop, and the car grinds to a screeching halt.]

[Interior. The lights are blinding now. Bruce presses a button on the roof of the car. It beeps. Joker is still trying to catch his breath.]

JOKER: What in the what? What was-?

BATMAN: Joker, listen. I need you to stay right here. I'm going to buy us some time, but until then I need you to stay in your seat.

[Bruce climbs into the backseat. He opens the seats and attaches what appears to be a dart-launcher to his gauntlet. Then, he pulls something else from the seat. We don't see what it is, but Joker's eyes grow wide when he sees it.]

JOKER: Oh.

BATMAN: Stay put. I mean it. I'm going to get us out of this.

[Bruce climbs out of the car. He stands to the side, the door open. The sword is no longer in the hood of the car, but the car is clearly ruined. The car is thrown perpendicular to the road, leaving Bruce standing in front of the side of the car.]

[The next panel shows the source of the lights. A row of military trucks emblazoned with the ARGUS logo are shining on him. Soldiers stand in front, blocking the Batmobile's escape. In front of them stands Wonder Woman. Her sword is clutched in one hand and her shield is in the other. She looks unhappy.]

BATMAN: [Word box.] All I need to do is keep her talking.

BATMAN: Hello, Diana. Quite the welcoming party you've put out for me.

WONDER WOMAN: Is that supposed to be a joke? Has he really rubbed off on you that much?

BATMAN: [Word box.] You only need to hold out for ten minutes.

BATMAN: That's not fair and you know it.

WONDER WOMAN: Is it? You're going against the League to help a known murderer.

BATMAN: The League is not the law, Diana! You can't take a man's life without due process.

WONDER WOMAN: ARGUS has already placed a warrant for your arrest as well as the Joker's. ARGUS is the law.

BATMAN: [Word box.] You're doing fine, Bruce. Just keep going.

BATMAN: ARGUS is as close to the law as we are. And make no mistake, Waller will kill him.

WONDER WOMAN: Good. The Joker is a monster. You're only protecting him on principle.

BATMAN: [Word box.] I hate this.

BATMAN: I'm protecting him because I'm trying to help him.

WONDER WOMAN: There is no help for someone like him.

BATMAN: [Word box.] I hate you for making me do this.

BATMAN: You don't know that!

WONDER WOMAN: I know that I've faced enough real monsters to know one when I see one.

BATMAN: [Word box.] I hate the Joker for doing everything he's done and still making me help him.

WONDER WOMAN: And the Joker is most certainly a monster.

BATMAN: [Word box.] And I hate myself for believing I can change him.

BATMAN: I won't let you hurt him, Diana.

WONDER WOMAN: Either stand aside, or I'll have to hurt you as well.

BATMAN: [Word box.] Just a few more minutes.

BATMAN: Please don't do this.

[There is a moment of hesitation as Bruce and Diana face off. Neither wants to fight here.]

BATMAN: [Word box.] Please don't do this.

WONDER WOMAN: Bruce…

[Bruce looks at her hopefully. Diana looks back sadly.]

WONDER WOMAN: I'm sorry.

[Diana rushes at Bruce with her sword raised.]

BATMAN: [Word box.] Here we go.

[Diana attempts to rush past Bruce toward the Batmobile. No such luck. In one swift motion, Bruce draws from behind his back a beautiful sword with a black hilt. The two swords collide. Bruce is clearly straining against Diana's strength, but he holds. In a massive show of strength, Bruce pushes Diana back and away from the Batmobile. Diana is shocked. The ARGUS soldiers raise their guns at Batman.]

WONDER WOMAN: No! Don't shoot. This is my fight.

BATMAN: A warrior as ever.

WONDER WOMAN: [To Batman.] Where did you-?

BATMAN: A gift from Doctor Fate. It's a long story. [Bruce flourishes the sword. It sends up a wave of red light as it cuts the air.]

WONDER WOMAN: That's a cheap tactic, Bruce.

BATMAN: A Greek goddess versus a man in spandex with a sword? I would say that's pretty much even.

[Diana makes another pass, but this time goes directly for Bruce. The two swords clash, and now the fight is really on. While Diana is stronger than Bruce, they are clearly evenly matched in terms of skill. Bruce is playing defensively, however; he's not trying to cause damage, only push Diana back. This fight should last a couple of pages before things start to change up.]

WONDER WOMAN: Would you just give in already?

BATMAN: Never.

[Diana unfurls her lasso from her hip. Though Bruce tries to dodge, her aim is true, and Bruce is wrapped in the lasso.]

BATMAN: Agh! [Bruce topples to the ground, unable to move.] Diana, stop!

[Wonder Woman ignores him. Instead, she rushes again for the Batmobile, this time unhindered. Meanwhile, Joker has rolled down his window and leans his head out to speak.]

JOKER: Get 'em, Batsy! Come on! You've got—whoop!

[Joker pulls back into the Batmobile just in time to keep his head from being severed by Diana's blade. Undeterred, Diana rips the door off of the car, leaving the Joker exposed.]

BATMAN: No!

JOKER: [Though he is still smiling, Joker is sweating bullets; he clearly is terrified.] Ha. I suppose it wouldn't help if I said I was sorry?

WONDER WOMAN: [Raising her sword.] Not particularly.

BATMAN: I said-

[Before Diana can strike Joker, Bruce tackles her to the ground, having freed himself from the lasso.

BATMAN: -NO!

[Batman wrestles Wonder Woman to the ground. Though he puts up a good fight, Diana eventually throws Bruce off onto the road. She picks herself up and slowly makes her way to the Batmobile.]

WONDER WOMAN: For what it's worth, I am sorry, Bruce.

BATMAN: So…am…I…

[Bruce raises his arm and presses a button on the device he attached to his gauntlet. A small purple dart shoots out and hits Diana in the small of her back. She winces, then pulls the dart from her back and turns to look back at Bruce.]

WONDER WOMAN: What did you-?

[Diana begins to fall backward, but Bruce rushes to catch her. It's a strange moment: Wonder Woman, a Greek goddess, is suddenly powerless and being caught by Batman, a completely powerless human. The absurdity of this is not lost on her, and her face should reflect that. We should also see that some of her veins are turning violet.]

WONDER WOMAN: I…can't…

BATMAN: I know.

[Bruce slowly lowers Diana to the ground. He is incredibly delicate with her.]

BATMAN: It's a toxin. I made it in my lab. It won't kill you, but it will keep you subdued.

WONDER WOMAN: [Chuckles.] Always the pacifist, aren't we?

BATMAN: When I can be.

[A beeping sound begins going off in the Batmobile. Bruce takes a quick look back at the Joker, who is still in his seat.]

JOKER: I didn't touch anything!

[Bruce looks back at Diana.]

BATMAN: I have to help him, Diana. Or at least I have to try.

WONDER WOMAN: Victor said you told him the same thing.

BATMAN: Because it's true. I need to do this, Diana.

[Bruce turns to walk away from Wonder Woman.]

WONDER WOMAN: Do you need to do this for him? Or for you?

[Bruce looks back. He doesn't answer. In the distance, a loud whooshing sound can be heard. The ARGUS soldiers raise their guns toward the sky as suddenly the Batwing flies above them.]

JOKER: Uh, Bats?

BATMAN: Hold tight.

[Bruce presses a button on his wrist console. The roof of the Batmobile pops off and Joker's seat ejects into the air.

JOKER: Ha! Hahahahahaha!

[The bottom of the Batwing opens up as the Joker approaches. It catches him in midflight, then seals back up with him inside.]

ARGUS SOLDIER: Open fire on the aircraft! Now!

[The ARGUS soldiers being unloading their clips onto the Batwing. Undeterred, Batman grabs his grapple gun from his belt. He fires at the Batwing and zips up to the cockpit amongst the spray of gunfire. As it opens, Bruce quickly ducks down to avoid being shot.]

BATMAN: Batwing! Evasive maneuvers!

BATWING: Understood.

[The cockpit of the Batwing seals up as the jet zooms away from the soldiers and Wonder Woman. Inside, Bruce puts the Batwing on autopilot and goes in the back to fetch the Joker. Joker is messing around with a bladed gauntlet as Bruce approaches.]

JOKER: Ooh! What's this do?

[Joker pushes a button, causing the blades to fire out and stick in the wall of the Batwing.]

JOKER: Oops.

[Bruce takes the gauntlet from Joker and puts it back on the shelf.]

BATMAN: Get strapped in. We'll be landing in a couple of hours.

JOKER: To see this mysterious friend of yours?

BATMAN: Yes. Now be seated. I can't have you messing with anything else.

[Bruce goes back to the cockpit and takes his seat. We then get an outside shot of the Batwing as it flies into the night.]

JOKER: [From inside the Batwing.] Hey, Bats! Does this thing play any music?

BATMAN: [Exasperated.] No.

End Issue #3.