Friendly tips for EVO2016 Competitors.

Just some friendly tips.



1.) Sandbagging

Always conceal how good you are. Make sure to tell your opponent how little sleep you got and how you entered EVO for the experience. Ask your opponent how to button check and what's the correct layout that professionals use. Then proceed to get lost in character select.



2.) Meta-game

Use poor hygiene as a weapon. Avoid washing your hands if necessary. If you can't beat your opponents, may as well try to take them down with some kind of disease. As to where to find potential pathogens, it's recommended to search through the Smash area and pick the most outstandingly unmaintained individual.



3.) How to Gain Notoriety

Always pop-off when you don't deserve to win. The more it's obvious that they fucked up, the harder you party after you win. Never shake hands with the people you beat. Handshakes are a resolution, which means that it seals the deal on a relationship being on good standing. You don't want that. The people you stomp on, are potential farms for your infamy. Milk their hatred later by either calling them scrubs and baiting them to money match you. At the very least, they will talk about how much of an asshole you are. People love to talk about assholes.



4.) Profiting off of Gaming

Always money match bad players. The only reason you'd want to be decent at fighting games is to rob other people. Remember to always eat cheap at EVO by searching for a local McDonalds that is out of the way. If you order McChickens, make sure to order them without mayonnaise, which will enhance their lifespan.



5.) Getting People to Remember You

Smell bad. Your distinct smell will have top players trying to remember what you smelled like.



6.) Etiquette to Foreign Players

Extend your hand to shake theirs, then crush their hands so that they won't make it far in the tournament. This is America. They don't belong here.



7.) Courtesy to Other FGC Communities

Remember to boo Smash players. If you're a Smash player, make sure to boo everything else. If you see UMvC3 being played, let others know that you're up to date on current events by asking others "Isn't this a dead game?" while snort laughing. This is applicable to every e-sports game except Overwatch.









Reply · Report Post