(I’m shopping for Christmas ornaments when a woman and her husband walk into the store.)

Wife: “Look at this; this is a sin! They hardly have anything.”

Husband: “The Christmas section gets smaller and smaller each year. I barely saw any decorations in the store, either.”

Wife: *picking up an angel table topper* “This is just disrespectful. They should have another three or four kinds of trees!”

Husband: “I agree, dear, this selection is disappointing. How are we supposed to properly celebrate with this?”

(They continue on like this for another five to ten minutes. Finally, the woman storms up to me.)

Wife: “You! As a God-fearing Christian, do you think this tiny little section is disrespectful to our Lord and Savior? How dare they not be respectful of our religious beliefs?! We should go complain!”

Me: “Yeah, I know what you mean. I’m Pagan and I can never find any good Beltane decorations here.”

(She literally ran from the seasonal section. I heard a security alarm a minute or two later. I think she forgot to pay for the angel that she never put down.)