WHAT’S UP, PEOPLE?! My name is Marie, and you may recognize me as a challenger on MTV’s The Challenge. While I haven’t always been a Z-list reality star, I have ALWAYS considered myself a betch. So when I saw my partner Cara Maria interview with my all-time favorite company, Betches, I naturally threw a hissy fit and demanded to collaborate with them too. So, here we are. Below is a recap of episode three of The Challenge: Final Reckoning from MY POV. Enjoy!

We kick off the episode with a “previously on” by Johnny Bananas stating, “Float like a banana, sting like a bee.” I know what you’re thinking… do bananas float? The answer is yes; I Googled it. We are then reminded that last episode, Tony joined the game as Bananas’ partner, and the Paulie/Cara/Kyle/Faith love triangle is unfortunately gonna be a thing this season.

We begin the episode at the main house where everyone is worried who Kyle/Brad will vote into elimination. Tori tells Derrick she’s embarrassed of him and I feel that. All of my exes are LOSERS too. Kyle tells Paulie it’s a stupid idea to call him a p*ssy this early in the game. Is he foreshadowing we’ll have to deal with him being a p*ssy late in the game too? Also, let me remind everyone that they are fighting over Cara Maria. All of this is stupid.

Shane talking to Amanda about how he’s too extra is literally my life. The reason Shane is worried about Kyle voting for him stems from a drunken Twitter rant Shane made about Kyle’s plastic surgery. For those who missed it, Shane went as far as to change his default to Kyle’s pre-hair plug surgery pic. It was hilarious, and I AM HERE for Shady Shane. Troll on, Shane. TROLL ON!

Upstairs, Natalie and Kam chat about how Kayliegh exposed Natalie’s sexual preference via Twitter. We learn neither Kayleigh nor Natalie feels the need to make up, and Twitter is one hell of an antagonist. Natalie starts to feel the heat Paulie and Cara are causing, and she asks that they squash the drama before her team is sent home for it. I CAN RELATE.

Cara chats with Kyle, and I’m not sure if I’m more annoyed with their conversation, or Cara’s decision to wear her wolf hat during it. Actually, it’s definitely the wolf hat. Can we vote the hat into elimination?