Don't you hate it when your wife gets jealous? No one does more than Afghan men! That's why one Afghan man cut his wife's nose off when she heard of his plans to get a second wife.

A really, really younger second wife.

A six-year-old! If this weren't a culture we were told we had to respect, we might call that pedophilia!

The woman, Reza Gul, 20, was attacked by her husband with a knife on Sunday in Shar-Shar, a village in an impoverished and Taliban-controlled part of Faryab Province. On Sunday afternoon, Zarghona said, Reza Gul and Mr. Khan got into an argument over his having taken his uncle's 6- or 7-year-old daughter as his fiancée, with the intention of making her his second wife this year. During the dispute, Mr. Khan erupted into a rage, took a knife and cut off his wife's nose, said Zarghona, who goes by a single name. Mr. Khan and one of his brothers then threw Reza Gul on the back of a motorcycle with the intention of taking her away to kill her, Zarghona said. But news of the attack spread quickly in the village, causing an uproar, and Mr. Khan fled for his life. "I went to the Taliban," Zarghona said. "I asked them: 'Is this the Islam we are following? My daughter's nose chopped off? But you are doing nothing about it. I want justice.' " Mr. Yaqubi, the police official, said the authorities had heard that "the Taliban has already arrested Muhammad Khan, and he is presently in their custody." "We don't know what they plan to do with him, but we will follow the case and bring him to justice."

If you had to list all the things that were messed up about this situation, what would they be?

1) A man having two wives.

2) A man indulging pedophilia with a six-year-old he calls his wife (who also, by the way, is his first cousin, but that is just a small cherry on the top of this perverted sundae).

3) A man mutilating his first wife for objecting to polygamous pedophilia (an alliterative term I'd never thought to write!).

4) A woman's father going to the Taliban for "justice."

5) America giving hundreds of billions of dollars to "build" this country.

6) Thinking that all cultures are equal.

7) Thinking that this is a rare situation in the Middle East (like the kid who chopped off his own hand for offending the Prophet Mohammad, or the woman who was ripped apart by an Afghan mob after trying to expose fraudulent dealers of magical pregnancy amulets).

8) Thinking that this will change if only we spend more money there.

9) Feminists caring more about the lack of female computer programmers than women getting their noses cut off in the Middle East.

9) Thinking that bringing Afghans to America is a great idea.

This article was written by Ed Straker, senior writer of NewsMachete.com, the conservative news site.