ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The Home Affairs Department wants to outlaw the practice of taping up webcams and microphone jacks under the guise of national security, an internal report has suggested.

Minister Peter Dutton has confirmed that he and his department have made the recommendations, telling reporters in Canberra today that he wants to keep all Australians safe from terror.

“This isn’t about me wanting to see any boobs, vaginas or penises,” said Dutton.

“It’s about making sure terrorists don’t have access to webcams and your information. This recommendation has come from our defence signals team and both of the nation’s spy agencies,”

“By making it illegal to tape up a webcam, we are making sure the only people who get to see you shave thing carrot or dialling the slippery rotary phone are your partner and our spy agencies. Nobody else. Who knows what a terrorist organisation would do if they have video of your going at it like that. I want to protect you all.”

Dutton’s left eye started to bleed and his media advisor called an end to the presser.

More to come.



