The Oklahoman compiled a list of secondary violations self-reported by the University of Oklahoma. It is so dumb.

Silly Things You Have To Self-Report, RANKED.

(1) Just friggin' carb loading.

Three current student-athletes received food in excess of NCAA regulation at a graduation banquet. The three had graduated from the school but returned for an additional season of competition. The players were provided pasta in excess of the permissible amount allowed.

(2) Just friggin' trying not to be a Facebook creeper.

Assistant coaches Mike Stoops and Cale Gundy sent two text messages to recruits before written or financial commitment. Stoops responded to an incoming text with "Thanks." Gundy replied to a text message instead of replying by Facebook message. A Facebook message would've been permissible.

(3) Just friggin' texting the wrong person.

Assistant track coach Brian Blutreich sent a text message to an assistant track coach to request an email address. After the email address was sent to him by another number, he replied with "thanks." He was replying to the recruit.

(4) Friggin' group text.

Head coach Santiago Restrepo and assistant Erik Peterson inadvertently sent five text messages to a recruit when replying to a group text. The texts weren't directed at the recruit.

(5) Friggin' talking to people that you know in real life!

Director of Student-Athlete Academic Services James Troxel exchanged impermissible text messages with a football player from Iowa Western Community College who was on the OU campus. The athlete had previously been at Nevada, where Troxel had previously worked.

(6) Just hotels without free friggin' wifi, literally the worst thing ever anyway.

A recruit, staying in the Embassy Suites on an official visit, ordered Internet service for $9.95. Assistant women's coach Graeme Abel did not notice the additional expense on the bill.

Cool rules, NCAA!

(To be fair, the NCAA said the pasta thing was overblown:

To clarify, there are no NCAA rules regarding portion sizes & any penalties were determined by Oklahoma. — Inside the NCAA (@InsidetheNCAA) February 20, 2014

But Oklahoma still thought they needed to report themselves, so... still friggin' weird.