(SPOILERS) Episode 22 of Carole and Tuesday left me with tears in my eyes and goosebumps all over…

Angela needs that ”light in the darkness” now more than ever.

Carole and Tuesday’s (along with Crystal’s) performance was great and it showed what Angela desperately needs now. She needs that light in the darkness that Crystal spoke of…she needs hope. I want to say that since she managed to get herself up on stage that she still has a sliver of hope but honestly I really don’t know. Her ”mother” aka Dahlia confessing in her final moments that Angela truly isn’t her daughter, that she’s sorry about her behavior towards her in the past and most of all that she really did love her felt like the last straw for Angela… Along with Dahlia’s confirmed death. So when she sang ”Endless” those lyrics were her final crashing down along with the drugs inside her taking their toll. I mean ”All I know is gone; now I’m all alone”, ”Wish that I could see the sun; I feel like I am falling” and ”Because you left me or ’cause you hurt me; want to fall into an endless dream” are the words of someone who has lost sight of everything and to be blunt doesn’t seem to care about living at this point. When she arrived at the Grammy show location my heart was aching so much already I didn’t know what to think questions like ”Is she gonna sing?” and ”How is she still going?!” ran through my mind. No matter what people say about Angela… No one can deny that she’s strong… Even now that she lies in a hospital bed. I don’t even want to imagine the exact things that must’ve been going through her head as she sang. The mood in the crowd went from relaxed to oh no immediately and people started to whisper to each other. I can’t really say I blame them at least not completely… I don’t know how many of them knew the full extent of what Angela’s gone through up to that point so for them it must’ve been like ice-cold water to the face. When she sent Tao ”help me” I knew Tao wouldn’t come running to her rescue… I wanted to believe he would that he’d be the one to get her through this nightmare but that’s just not Tao… That’s what WE wanted him to do. Tao is emotionless so he doesn’t have the ability to sympathize with Angela and help her… He’s not a knight in shining armor. He’s just a music producer that happened to give Angela her big shot with music. While he expressed some care when he stopped her stalker from killing her that’s all he did stop her stalkers attempt at killing her… There’s probably a bit more to it than that but not by much. There’s more about this episode I wanted to say but Angela’s condition has got me immensely unsettled.