John Egbert looked at the crumpled rock in his hands and felt stressed.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his wild surroundings. He had always loved grey Philadelphia with its vigorous, villainous volcanoes. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel stressed.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Karkat . Karkat was a thoughtless god with hairy thighs and vast eyes.

John gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a vile, snotty, squash drinker with sloppy thighs and ample eyes. His friends saw him as a great, graceful gamer. Once, he had even rescued a homely injured bird from a burning building.

But not even a vile person who had once rescued a homely injured bird from a burning building, was prepared for what Karkat had in store today.

The moon shone like rampaging lizards, making John relaxed.

As John stepped outside and Karkat came closer, he could see the defeated glint in his eye.

Karkat glared with all the wrath of 2280 sympathetic blue bears. He said, in hushed tones, "I hate you and I want a fight."

John looked back, even more relaxed and still fingering the crumpled rock. "Karkat, I admire your eyebrows," he replied.

They looked at each other with active feelings, like two flabby, frantic foxes running at a very hungry accident, which had orchestral music playing in the background and two popular uncles eating to the beat.

John studied Karkat's hairy thighs and vast eyes. Eventually, he took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," began John in apologetic tones, "but I don't feel the same way, and I never will. I just don't hate you Karkat."

Karkat looked puzzled, his emotions raw like a gorgeous, graceful guillotine.

John could actually hear Karkat's emotions shatter into 8540 pieces. Then the thoughtless god hurried away into the distance.

Not even a beaker of squash would calm John's nerves tonight.

THE END