In a strange story out of Hyogo Prefecture, a man has been arrested for squirting an unwanted, creamy white liquid onto an unsuspecting high school girl. And while the substance in question isn’t as disgusting as it could have been, it’s still pretty gross.

On January 9, police arrested a man living in the Sakaemachi neighborhood of Kawanishi City. The purported crime? Plopping mayonnaise onto the back of a 15-year-old girl.

On the evening of last October 31, the 10th grader was riding an escalator to the platform of Hankyu Noseguchi Station, also located in Sakaemachi. Suddenly, she heard a strange noise, and turned around to see the suspect standing behind here.

▼ Hankyu Noseguchi Station

A trip to the ladies’ room and a look in the mirror revealed a blob of mayonnaise on her back, but by the time she exited the bathroom, the man was nowhere to be found.

A police investigation uncovered six other mayo attacks in the area surrounding the station during the same month. The suspect appeared in the security footage detectives examined, enabling them to identify and track him down.

Upon his arrest, the 25-year-old suspect, whose name has not been released, made no attempt to deny his actions, stating “There is no mistake” when questioned as to whether he was the one behind the bizarre crime spree. Frankly, we’re surprised at his docility, especially given the plethora of plausible excuses, including:

“It was Halloween, but I didn’t have any candy to hand out!”

“I was trying to pour the mayonnaise on myself, but my hand slipped!”

“I thought she was a sandwich!”

Of course, we all know the only real explanation one can give in this situation is, “I’m a horrible person,” and the tiny silver lining to this incident is that at least the man didn’t waste the officers’ time beating around the bush on this point.

Sources: Hachima Kikou, Yahoo! Japan

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