‘Rock, Paper, Scissors’ Pros Demand Rock Nerfed

MIAMI — Controversy has recently erupted in the Rock, Paper, Scissors pro circuit as a subset of players are now insisting on changes to the tournament ruleset which would significantly nerf Rock.

“While other moves have a startup animation, Rock is able to do damage right from the first frame,” explained JoeShamb0, one of the first proponents of the Rock nerf and the third-ranked Scissors player in the United States. “So, if a player throws down Rock while they’re still in the neutral, then notices their opponent is going Paper, they can pull off a Scissors Cancel — switching to Scissors — if their input is quick enough. Players continue to abuse this tactic, ruining the honest play RoPaSc is built on.”

JoeShamb0’s suggested change would replace Rock’s fist stance with a thumbs up to increase the number of startup frames. However, the proposed debuffing is not met with open arms among the community of players.

“I don’t think we need to change anything,” said fan-favorite Rock main AndShoot, who was quick to correct reporters accidentally calling him just “Shoot.” “The other pros are just mad because I main Rock and I win pretty much every third RoPaSc tournament.”

If approved, this would not be the first time the rules of Rock, Paper, Scissors have been significantly modified for tournaments. The precedent was set when DLC fighters including Dynamite and Gun were banned under the ruling that they can be fun in the schoolyard and home games, but they are overpowered and have no place in the RoPaSc competitive landscape.

“I can see where these players are coming from in wanting to nerf Rock,” says Rock, Papre, Scissors league referee, Chris Williams. “It does have a pretty significant advantage against Scissors. Though, Scissors is able to pretty easily bring down Paper. But then again, Paper is pretty powerful against Rock. Of course, Scissors tends to get beat by Rock in every match they’re against each other.”

At press time, Chris Williams continued to trail off as reporters packed up and left to catch their flight.

Listen to the newest episode of our podcast, The Ace Watkins Presidential Hour: