In the weeks before the royal wedding of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle last year, the media was consumed with Markle family drama. Her father Thomas was walking her down the aisle, then he wasn’t; her half-sister Samantha was setting up paparazzi shots and complaining about Meghan to every TV network and tabloid that would have her; her half- brother wrote an open letter to Harry imploring him not to marry his “jaded, shallow, and conceited” sibling.

The familial onslaught only increased after she announced her pregnancy, and her detractors received it with relish, looking for any sign that the new Duchess wasn’t as lovely as she appeared. What kind of person doesn’t speak to their own family? Isn’t blood supposed to be thicker than water?

But it’s not as black and white as that old saying suggests – the people you love can be extremely adept at causing you pain and misery. Should you have to put up with it, just because you’re related to them? For many, cutting contact with family members is an entirely necessary decision, one that makes their lives happier and a great deal calmer.

For a better understanding of the causes of family friction, I spoke to therapist Karen Leonard. Karen says that each member of a family plays a particular role, and relationships can become strained when one person decides that role doesn’t fit them any more.

“At Christmas or other family occasions, people expect us to snap back into these roles, but you might find that you don’t want to do what’s expected of you any longer. If a family member can’t accept that, you need to take responsibility for your health and happiness.” And sometimes, taking responsibility for your health and happiness can mean either reducing contact or cutting it completely.

“My sister is a fair bit older than me – we were never close, and the time we spent together was never really equal. It was always her being very critical of me, my choices and my lifestyle,” says Beth, 26. “I would occasionally babysit for her when I was free, but then it became more insistent, more expectant. Eventually I told her I couldn’t be at her beck and call and she went spare, telling me that nobody was helping her, and nobody cared…”

I told her I’d watch the kids once or twice a month, but nothing more. It was never meant to be permanent, but over time, I realised that I was happier without the criticism and the pressure, so I decided the boundary needed to become a wall. at was a good five years ago, and I’ve never looked back. Honestly, I don’t think of her unless someone asks.

The thing to remember about estrangement is that it’s very often a last resort, coming at the end of a long line of disputes and disappointments. “If you’ve given them a lot of chances and things still aren’t improving, you can say to yourself that you’ve done all you can do,” says Karen.

For Christina, 35, this sadly rings true. “My brother and I used to have a great relationship growing up, he was always someone I could rely on and trust,” she says. “However, my mental health rapidly declined after I finished university and he struggled to understand how I felt. He used to tell me to snap out of it.”

Christina’s relationship with her brother deteriorated further during his marriage, and he would often put her down in front of other family members. “When he split from his first wife I supported him, despite him never supporting me – it was seen as something I had to do,” she recalls. After another year of being alternately humiliated and ignored by him, Christina decided enough was enough.