KFC Pens 'Tender Wings of Desire' Romance Novella for Moms

By Tom Kaiser

With Mother’s Day fast approaching, KFC has cooked up something special: its first romance novella titled “Tender Wings of Desire” as a thank-you to all the moms. Paired with its $20 Fill Up deal or as a free e-book download on Amazon, this is a legitimately unique marketing ploy that I fully support. If only this franchise scribe had an announcement like this every day…

Set in Victorian England and starring Harland Sanders as the love interest, “Tender Wings of Desire” follows “rebellious Lady Madeline Parker” as she seeks control over her life after running away from Parker Manor. She finds herself swept into the arms of Harland, a handsome sailor with a mysterious past. As we’ve all felt before, whether that’s with a bucket of chicken or in love, her passion takes hold of her life, forcing a choice between a life of solitude or one driven by passion. Oh, Lady Madeline …

In an immediate front-runner for Franchise Times Quote of the Year, KFC Director of Advertising George Felix said “the only thing better than being swept away by the deliciousness of our Extra Crispy Chicken is being swept away by Harland Sanders himself. So this Mother’s Day, the bucket of chicken I get for my wife will come with a side of steamy romance novella.”

Amen, George.

Now, if you wonder why KFC has such deep appreciation for Mother’s Day, note that it is the company’s busiest day of the year, where it historically sells more chicken than any other occasion. On average every Mother’s Day, KFC serves 380,000 families, 6.5 million pieces of chicken, 900,000 servings of mashed potatoes and gravy, and 480,000 servings of coleslaw. It’s all about the coleslaw, you know.

While I admit combining the ideas of Extra Crispy chicken with romance—and my mom—is uncomfortable, I hope such raw emotion is only a primer for the delights to come as I crack open the e-pages of this novella.

I look forward to my sexy weekend reading—and the likely sequels “Buckets of Lust” and “Steaming Thighs”— and have nothing but gratitude for KFC and its marketing team. Oh yeah, and my wonderful mother, too. See? That wasn’t so weird after all!