Western Art History: 500 Years of Women Ignoring Men

“I think she’s really into it. Another set?”

“Yeah, she’s definitely really into it. Let’s play another set.”

“Heyyyy.”

“Hi.”

“What are you doing?”

“Writing a letter.”

“Haha, yeah, I can see that, awesome, that’s awesome…who are you writing to?”

“My mother.”

“Right on, right on…” [stretches] “So what’s new?”

“I’m actually going to be busy for a while, writing this letter.”

“Sure, for sure.”

“Can’t really talk right now.”

“Oh, it’s no problem, I can wait.”

“Oh, my God, is he still there?”

“I don’t know, but — oh my God, don’t look up, don’t look at him, he’s going to start playing again. Christ.”

“Okay, but did you like, really hear the difference between the two versions?”

“No, I definitely did, I totally see what you mean –”

“I’ll play it again.”

“Oh, my God, Tess, don’t encourage him. You’re terrrrrible.”

“No, I’m serious! That was so good! Can you play another one? You’re, like, really good at this.”

maybe if I pretend to fall asleep he’ll get the hint

“What? No, I’m just — it’s really good flauting. I’m just so impressed by how good it is, your flauting. Flaut some more.”

“I would love to go out tonight but I’m…I’m dying.” [coughs weakly into handkerchief]

“Oh, my God.”

“Yeah. It’s consumption, so.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“No, it’s fine.”

“I will stay and nurse you.”

“No, you won’t.”

“Hi, I just wanted to tell you, I thought you looked really beautiful out there tonight.”

“Oh, thank you.”

“I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you that before, but I really felt like there was a sadness to your performance that maybe not everyone noticed, but I noticed it.”

“Thank you!…Sorry, how did you get backstage?”

“I just wanted to tell you, in case you thought nobody had noticed.”

“Okay, well, thank you — sorry, I think that’s my dress — I have to go finish dancing now.”

“Right, of course.”

“So maybe you should go back to your seat.”

“Oh, I’m fine right here.”

“I’m so sorry, I no speak ze English.”

“Ah! That is no problem to me, I also speak French.”

“I speak no French.”

“But I just heard you –”

“I speak no French, monsieur. Good day to you.”

“Hey. Hey. Hi. Hey. Yellow. Girl in the yellow dress. Can you hear me? Hey. Hey. I’m talking to you.”

“Yes?”

“So do you come to court a lot or what”

“Hi, sorry, this is a women-only balcony.”

“Women’s balcony, sorry.”

“Male balcony’s over there, this balcony is all-women, sorry!”

okay just look like you’re listening and look at his eyebrows