I've cut out bits of my heart for invasive fish to eat. They flock to me as I sit by the lake, expecting more every dusk I return. How do I stop now? It would be nice if I could devour them instead.

[Forty-four seconds of silence from the speaker.]

Every bit of this shell is brittle. There's no sense in maintenance. Youth breaks it down as well as experience hastily puts it in place. When I finish boring the hole in my bed's wall, where will I go from there? There will be no one to bear witness as my cords deafen, and my head fills with helium. Proselytizing is all that is left. A faith of nothing but nothing, and hoping it will reward dutifully.

[Fifteen seconds of silence from the speaker, after which trumpets switch to performing dissonant swing music.]

I wish I could still say I was scared. Were I to say I had fear for my actions, would there be sympathy remaining? No… no, I know. What does it matter for my house to rot and its structure to collapse if a hole is left to watch over the remains? For those who knew me to attest to my character? For my legacy as one who only gave, and did nothing but politely smile, until my teeth gave out? Who would continue to feast on my ligaments? A stronger man than I would continue to smile and be remembered as forgettable but dutiful. I can never be that man. If there is anything the world will remember me by, it's for what I never accomplished.

[Violent coughing is heard for twelve seconds.]

Would assertion have solved any particular issue? Maybe not. Even so, I wouldn't have left without guilt weighing on my senses. My next form would have been more elegant, perhaps. Tendons will be all the net worth I share with the trees outside. Bones and matter will be my moth's nutrients. Everything said is logical. I know because I've born witness to it before. So perhaps I —

[Violent coughing sporadically is heard over the next twenty-three minutes and twelve seconds, followed by four minutes of silence from the speaker.]

Soon, I'll either climb up towards Hell or tunnel into stillbirth again.