Amid the rumours and conflama, we’ve gone ahead and put together our own dream line-up

Text Dan Heyes

With the ever-impending threat of Brexit looming over us, the British public deserve a break. But what could relieve us from such unsettling times? Category is: a UK edition of RuPaul’s Drag Race! It’s time we swap the fuckery of the House of Lords with the Haus of Edwards, and get our life. Since RuPaul’s Drag Race UK was confirmed back in December, the internet has been awash with rumours and conflama about which UK-based queens will walk the runway this side of the Atlantic. All we know so far is that the award-winning reality TV competition is coming to BBC3 at some point this year. Michelle Visage has said she’ll be appearing as a judge, but with no confirmation of dates or cast, we’re all still mostly in the dark. So, why not add some hairspray to the fire by joining in the speculation? Dazed have created our dream line–up for the first season of RuPaul’s Drag Race UK.

Coagulations! If we had to whey in on this queens looks, we’d say they were pretty gorgeous. As a staple of Manchester nightlife and the otherworldly mother of The Family Gorgeous, Cheddar has elevated their aesthetic to the upper echelons of the country's drag scene. Gorgeous is also a political force, having helped organise a drag protest against Donald Trump’s trip to the UK. The bald and beady–eyed performer also scored their own Channel 4 TV show this year titled The Drag Lab. METH

Let me make this crystal clear: Meth won’t be breaking bad in this competition. Meth has acquired their legendary status by being a regular performer at Her Upstairs, which was one of the last remaining LGBTQ+ venues in Camden. They also made a name for themselves as a cast member on the London Live’s TV show Drag Queens of London, which captured the careers of some of London's best performers. They count Drag Race superstar Adore Delano as a fan, and have also supported Ben De La Creme on tour. As an active in the community, Meth was instrumental in the movement to save The Black Cap pub in Camden, where they hosted the infamous Meth Lab night. CARA MELLE

Cara Melle! Your performances are sweet and your attitude is just the right amount of salty. Originally hailing from Atlanta, Georgia, this Southern Bell has chosen to settle in London. It will be interesting to see if queens who aren’t originally from the UK are invited to compete on the British Drag Race. Judging by her performance at Drag World UK, this transatlantic queen can turn the party, and a breastplate too. LYDIA L’SCABIES

Lydia L’Scabies, this week you really got under our skin – actually scratch that, you were cream–worthy! Queen flea Lydia discovered her love of drag whilst at university in Brighton, where she also learned everything drag herstory; from club kids to the early Barbette years. Lydia will have the judges gagging with her references. She’s comically unfortunate, and theatrically motivated, so she could slay the competition. After all, Valentina wouldn’t follow her on Instagram for nothing. CHARITY KASE

Charity, you made a good case for our support but it doesn’t look like you need donations. Most queens can turn a look, but not many can turn a full 360+5 looks. Charity made a name for themselves by undertaking the monumental challenge of creating 365 drag looks – one every day for an entire year. The project earned national coverage, including a feature in Vogue, as well as earning the respect from Drag Race legend Raja. From glamour to horror, she’s got them all down, and with that kind of experience under their hemline, Charity would be a fierce contestant. SUE GIVES A FUCK

Next up it’s Sue Gives a Fuck, and she really does! A refreshing hybrid of drag queen and cerebral comedian, this irreverent queen is on the path to superstardom. If the name isn’t enough to convince you, Sue was a runner up for RuPaul’s UK drag ambassador, and wins nearly every other competition they enter. They recently started a podcast that tracks their femme–positive sex journey, and is well–known for a Theresa Slay look that would unite a government! We have high hopes for her Snatch Game. BAGA CHIPZ

This queen isn’t the old news that she's wrapped in, she’s much batter than that! As you can imagine, this quintessentially British queen spends most of her time getting covered in Daddie’s Sauce! When she has a spare moment, she finds time to appear on Drag Queens of London, one of the UK’s first forays into drag TV shows, and regularly judges Porn Idol at Heaven, the seminal drag night that sees members of the public strip off for prizes! Drag Race UK wouldn't be complete without this London staple. FREIDA SLAVES

Nothing is going to stop this queen’s journey... TO FREEDOM! Dancing since the age of three, Freida is ready for a lip sync for her life to say the least. She’s already proved herself by performing at Lipsync 1000 – serving Beyoncé in a long weave – and has also given us a Paris Is Burning-style mirror shot in Blonde’s music video for “Me, Myself and I”. TAYCE

One Tayce-ste of this queen will have you coming back for more!

Trendy, talented and tantalising, this London-based dancer is fashion-forward and likes to add an androgynous edge to her outfits, as her biggest inspiration is Grace Jones. This Welsh native’s moves have earned her gigs at Dragworld UK and a legion of fans along with her drag family member Freida Slaves. THE VIVIENNE

This Vivienne went Westwood when she became Rupaul’s UK drag ambassador in LA, but will she regain her bearings in the UK? Having already walked RuPaul’s legendary runway, does The Vivienne have an unfair advantage over the other contestants? Or will she, like most UK ambassadors, have to leave her post early? This hilarious scouse has already won over mother Ru with one audition tape, and will be more familiar to the international fanbase, so the pressure is on her if she is to make the final cut for Drag Race UK. GINGZILLA

Take Godzilla, but make it fierce and you get Gingzilla. This 7ft tall bearded “glamonster” has already made a name for themselves in the reality TV genre. Originally hailing from Australia, Gingzilla has toured their popular stage show TheGingzilla: Glamonster vs the World internationally. Having impressed audiences on The X-Factor she promises to bring the West-End to Drag Race UK, and would probably kill a singing challenge like her fellow singing Aussie Courtney Act. RODENT