A Biblical Fable

I’ll tell you a little story,

Just a story I have heard;

And you’ll swear it’s all a fable

But it’s gospel, every word.

When the Lord made father Adam,

They said He laughed and sang;

And sewed him up the belly

With a little piece of whang.

But when the Lord was finished

He found He’s measured wrong;

For when the whang was knotted

‘Twas several inches long.

Said He, “’Tis but eight inches

So I guess I’ll let it hang.”

So He left on Adam’s belly

That little piece of whang.

But when the Lord made mother Eve

I imagine He did snort,

When He found the whang He sewed her with

Was several inches short.

“Twill leave an awful gap,” said He,

“But I should give a damn,

She can fight it out with Adam

For that little piece of whang.”

So ever since that day

When human life began,

There’s been a constant struggle

‘Twixt the woman and the man.

—Anon., “Whang,” 20thC