"Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut." Ernest Hemingway said that. He won the Nobel Prize. And a Pulitzer!

However, much to the chagrin of friends, family members, Ernest Hemingway, and readers like you, I will never keep my mouth shut. Every drunk idea I have inevitably gets dragged into the sober world, kicking and screaming like a newborn baby.

On March 24th, Flyers Twitter was taken by storm, with everyone who's everyone trying to create a drink to honor Shayne Gostisbehere. I couldn't stop there, though. I had to keep going.

I am in no way a qualified mixologist. I have never tended bar in my life. The closest I've ever gotten is when I fetched beer for my parents and their friends when I was eight years old. I'm required by the legal team to issue a warning: I have never made any of these drinks, and I don't know if they'll be good or even edible. I'm not sure what kind of effects any of these cocktails will have on the human body. Drink at your own risk and be responsible.

Below are cocktail recipes I've created for each player on the Flyers. Cold ones, if you will. And no matter what happens this weekend, playoffs or no playoffs, I want you to promise me that you use these recipes for good and not for evil. Enjoy responsibly, folks.

The Ghost Bear

Inspired by Shayne Gostisbehere



1 oz. vodka

1 oz. coconut rum

2 oz. orange juice

2 oz. tonic water

Splash of grenadine



Add all ingredients to a shaker filled with ice. Shake, and then strain into glass. Finish with dry ice. Wait until ice has completely dissolved before drinking.

The G Thing

Inspired by Claude Giroux

1 oz. sweet and sour mix

1 oz. champagne

2 oz. Southern Comfort

2 oz. orange soda

Add sweet and sour mix and Southern Comfort to a shaker filled with ice. Shake, then strain into glass half-filled with ice. Pour in orange soda and stir. Top with champagne, and serve immediately.

The Voracek Yourself

Inspired by Jakub Voracek

2 oz. Becherovka

2 oz. tonic water

1 oz. light rum

½ oz sugar syrup

Build in glass over ice. Stir lightly. Garnish with lime wedge. Toast with the traditional Czech "Na zdraví!"

The 6 Years, 30 Million Dollars

Inspired by Andrew MacDonald

1 oz. Vladimir Vodka

½ oz. Tabasco

Dash of bitters

Mix in standard shot glass. Feel regret.

The Merman

Inspired by Michael Raffl

1 ½ oz. pineapple rum

1 ½ oz. mango rum

1 oz. blue curaçao

2 oz. cranberry juice

2 oz. lemonade

Ice

Blend all ingredients. Serve in hurricane glass. Garnish with cherry.

The Salmon Shorts

Inspired by Michael Del Zotto

1 ½ oz. vodka

1 ½ oz. tequila

1 ½ oz. 151 rum

3 oz. Red Bull

Drizzle of maraschino syrup

Add vodka, tequila, and rum to a shaker filled with ice. Strain into glass over ice. Top with Red Bull and then drizzle with maraschino syrup. Hit on someone. Get rejected. Commence with self-hatred.

The French Toast

Inspired by Pierre-Edouard Bellemare

½ oz. Bailey's

½ oz. cinnamon schnapps

½ oz. butterscotch schnapps

Shake with ice. Pour into chilled shot glass. Sprinkle with cinnamon.

The Swiss Chocolate

Inspired by Mark Streit

1 ½ oz. Godiva Milk Chocolate Liqueur

1 ½ oz. Kahlua

5 oz. hot chocolate

Mix in mug. Top with marshmallows and chocolate syrup.

The #Dessy

Inspired by Brayden Schenn

½ oz. birthday cake vodka

½ oz. whipped cream vodka

½ oz. Bailey's

Shake with ice. Pour into chilled shot glass. Finish with whipped cream and jimmies.

The Dad Read

Inspired by Matt Read

1 ½ oz. whiskey

2 oz. lemonade

½ oz. simple syrup

Splash of honey

1 oz. lemon juice

Mix honey and simple syrup in small bowl. Add whiskey, lemonade, lemon juice, and honey syrup to cocktail shaker to combine. Pour into prepared glass. Garnish with lemon wedge and sprig of thyme.

The Full Steam Ahead

Inspired by Wayne Simmonds

3 oz. stout (such as Guinness)

2 oz. root beer

½ oz vanilla syrup

Pour root beer first, then top off with stout. Stir in vanilla syrup.

The Second Line Center

Inspired by Sean Couturier

3 oz. grapefruit IPA (such as Ballast Point Grapefruit Sculpin)

2 oz. champagne

Grapefruit zest for garnish

Add chilled IPA to flute, then top with champagne. Garnish with grapefruit zest.

The Broken Nose

Inspired by Ryan White

Yields approx. 15 shots

2 envelopes Knox unflavored gelatin

2 cups water

1 cup Peach Schnapps

½ cup sugar

Cherry Jell-O

Splash of grenadine

Sprinkle gelatin over cold water in a saucepan and let sit for a few minutes. Heat over low heat until gelatin starts to melt. Add sugar and keep stirring until the sugar and gelatin are completely dissolved. Cool till just warm. Stir in the peach schnapps. Pour into shot glasses and let stand at room temperature until the gelatin sets to the consistency of egg whites. Mix the cherry jell-o according to the package instructions, and then add splash of grenadine. Using an eyedropper, drip the jell-o along the outside of the glass to mimic blood drips. Finish chilling until completely set.

The Good American Boy

Inspired by Chris Vandevelde

3 parts simple syrup

1 part vodka

Splash of lime juice

1 part blue raspberry vodka

1 part cherry vodka

Splash of strawberry liqueur

Ice

In a blender add clear vodka, lime juice, a third of the simple syrup, and a small amount of ice; blend on high until it reaches a "slush like" consistency, adding more ice if necessary. Pour into a container and place in the freezer. Next, in the blender add blue raspberry vodka, a third of the simple syrup, and a third of the ice; blend on high until desired consistency is reached, and pour into a container and place in freezer. Then, in the blender add cherry vodka, strawberry liqueur, a third of the simple syrup, and a third of the ice; blend until desired consistency is reached and place into a container and place in freezer. Let chill in freezer until ready to use. To assemble drink layers, spoon some of the blue in the bottom of a glass, then white, then red on top.

The Hip Czech

Inspired by Radko Gudas

3 oz. pilsner (such as Victory's Hip Czech)

1 oz. Jagermeister

Pour shot of Jagermeister into shot glass, then drop into glass of the pilsner. Drink as quickly as possible.

The Garbage Can't

Inspired by R.J. Umberger

½ oz. tequila

½ oz. vodka

½ oz. cinnamon whisky (such as Fireball)

Pour into shot glass, avoid thinking about Scott Hartnell, and serve.

The Mean Mug

Inspired by Scott Laughton

4 oz. apple cider

2 oz. black spiced rum

1 oz. butterscotch schnapps

Cinnamon stick

Heat apple cider in saucepan over medium heat until it begins to simmer. Pour into mug. Then, add rum and schnapps. Garnish with cinnamon stick.

The Tampa Bay Lightning Hall of Fame

Inspired by Sam Gagner

2 oz. Rum Chata

1 ½ oz. pineapple rum

1 oz. simple syrup

1 oz. cream of coconut

1 oz. blue curaçao

Blue twizzlers

Ice

Place blue twizzlers inside hurricane glass. Add blue curaçao to the bottom of the glass. Blend the rest of the ingredients and then add to glass.

The Manngria

Inspired by Brandon Manning

Serves 8, or 1 on a bad night

½ cup of blackberry vodka

Bottle of rosé wine

Bottle of seltzer water

½ cup of water

½ cup of sugar

1 ½ cups of blackberries

Orange slices

Lemon slices

Mint

Add 1 cup of blackberries, water, and sugar to a medium saucepan over high heat. Bring to a boil, reduce heat, and simmer for 10 minutes or until blackberries are soft. Strain several times and then discard fruit. Pour into pitcher. Add wine, vodka, and seltzer water to taste. Add orange slices, lemon slices, remaining blackberries and mint leaves. Refrigerate overnight. Serve over ice.

The Shot Block

Inspired by Nick Schultz

2 oz. Fernet Branca

1 oz. lemon-lime soda

3 oz. tonic water

Lime wedge

Build in glass over ice and then stir. Garnish with lime wedge.

The New Boy in Town

Inspired by Jordan Weal

1 oz. light rum

1 oz. Grand Marnier

1 oz. strawberry liqueur

2 oz. pineapple juice

1 oz. orange juice

Strawberry slice

Add all ingredients to a shaker filled with ice. Shake, and then strain into glass. Garnish with strawberry.

The Good, Not Great

Inspired by Steve Mason

½ oz. ginger ale

2 oz. white rum

1 oz. lime juice

¾ oz. simple syrup

2 oz. porter

Lime wedge

Add rum, lime juice, and simple syrup to shaker filled with ice. Shake, then strain into glass. Top with ginger ale, and then beer. Garnish with lime wedge.

The 1B

Inspired by Michal Neuvirth

½ oz. grenadine

5 oz. lemon lime soda

1 ½ oz. vodka

Maraschino cherry

Lime wedge

Build in glass over ice and then stir. Garnish with cherry and lime wedge.