Yesterday, Dr. Phil welcomed a nineteen-year-old woman who was adamant that she was nine months pregnant, despite the fact that she was not pregnant. Adding to the weirdness? She thought that she was pregnant with the Baby Jesus. Let’s dive into it…

Haley is an entirely unpleasant — yes, I’m editorializing here — young woman who is at odds with her mother, sister, and community. She claims that she is nine months pregnant with the Second Coming of Christ. Her weight gain and beliefs prove it. They say she’s failed six pregnancy tests and has a history of lying to get attention.

So how does the sage Dr. Phil handle this? Well, he kindly offered to let Haley prove her side of the story. He set her up with Dr. Travis Stork from The Doctors (crossover event!!) and he gave her an ultrasound. What did it reveal? Absolutely nothing. There was no baby. Stork also explained that during the ultrasound, the technician found looped bowels. Meaning Haley is literally full of sh*t.

After learning this, Haley was undeterred. She said, “I am pregnant. I’m not going to deny my baby…that ultrasound looks like [expletive deleted].”

“I hear him kick all the time!”

Her sister Adrianna jumped in and explained, “It’s called bowel movements.”

She went on to accuse Dr. Stork of lying to the great almighty. Haley said, “I’m sorry, Dr. Stork, but you can’t lie to Jesus… You can stick me with all the Depo shots that you want to, but he is not going to die. And you can stick that little ultrasound [expletive deleted].”

Decider will be standing by with more on this story in the event that Haley does in fact give birth to the Second Coming in the next week, which, you know, could actually happen…