It’s our first date and she agrees to see my apartment after dinner. We get there and I offer her a tour, but she finds her way to the bedroom and enters without even removing her coat. I open my laptop to Spotify and put on music. We kiss for a while. She lets me take off her clothes and, with mine still on, I start going down on her. Then she pulls my face back up and kisses me again. I know this means she’s ambivalent. “Can I?” I ask, momentarily pulling away. “You want to?” she asks back, surprised. I nod and she says ok. Maybe she thinks cunnilingus is a bit intimate for a first date, but this girl is cute and I enjoy doing it. I like the way it tastes, like the way the girl’s body responds, like feeling good at doing it.

I didn’t always think that girls liked getting head just as much as I did. I had gone down on a few girls, but never for long and with little skill. Then senior year of college I dated a girl who told me that if I expected to come every time, she did too. At first I wasn’t into it. If she hadn’t showered right before, she didn’t taste good. Getting a pubic hair stuck in my mouth was the worst. And if climaxing was taking too long, we’d give up and both go to bed unsatisfied. It took time for me to improve — as it turns out, not all girls want the “tongue tornado” from American Pie — but my girlfriend was instructive and patient. The better I became, the more I enjoyed doing it. Soon cunnilingus became just another part of our sex routine, usually right before the main event and again right after. I learned how to move my tongue and lips and when to use my fingers. It started to turn me on too and my attraction to women and understanding of their bodies was evolving. I felt like a more mature and capable sexual partner. Plus, knowing that I could make someone’s body react like that gave me confidence.

The girl at my apartment is into me and I sense her body changing as I work. My clothes are off now too. I start slow and kiss her gently while holding her hips. Then I try different motions with my tongue. From the way she’s squirming and becoming wetter, I know she likes it. When she’s getting there, I use my fingers too. I watch her torso wiggle and toes curl. She tilts her chin upwards and first grabs the bed, then my wrists. After a moment, she loosens her grip and we both reach, relieved, for the blankets.