WELL. Now we’re cooking with gas, ammiright?? The Squad made contact with the Sanctumites, woke up some key players (hi Diyoza and Madi!!), got through the eclipse relatively unharmed, aired some emotional dirty laundry, and murdered some folks (obvs). Now we’re going to get some (probably shady) answers about their new home (and finally meet J.R. Bourne???), and I am pumped as all heck.

The episode kicked off with a flashback to the original colonizers having a great time cataloguing bugs, taking pictures of the suns, and flirting just SO HARD.

Meet Josephine Lightbourne, future authoress of cautionary children’s books. Honestly, I kind of want to see this whole story. #SantumPrequel please!! Anyway, she was called to have an expository chat with her dad that was like, “we’re sooooooo smart and cool, and we run this town, oh and we’re pretty close, but not TOO close, and we’re all suspiciously good looking.” It was very informative! But then…

The very first victim of Eclipse-Mania was Daddy Lightbourne himself. He came out swinging, killing (?) his wife and injuring Josephine. Then he went on a killing spree, declaring Sanctum to be “his”.

236 years later, he’s on a shrine! This show is awesome.

We popped back to the present where the Adventure Squad was dealing with the aftermath of Emori’s tripped-out attack on our Beautiful Creepster. Since it wasn’t a good idea to just stand around waiting to go crazy and kill each other, they decided to lock themselves up.

They separated themselves, but… not quite… enough?? Miller and Jackson teamed up, Echo and Emori paired off, and Bellamy and Clarke got to bunk with the Beautiful Creepster. I probably would have requested a private room if my friends were turning homicidal, but hey, I’m picky like that.

Meanwhile in space, Octavia and Niylah’s fun sparring-emotional-and-physical-meltdown was interrupted by the ship returning.

The Sanctumites pulled a Mountain Men and gassed our heroes, then put them all together in the mess hall for them to work out their differences. I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Octavia tried to recruit an engineer to get them the H outta there, but he was apparently still peeved about the whole “marching to our deaths” thing from last season, so he opted out. BUT ALL WAS NOT LOST! Raven had evaded capture and went to the most ruthless person she could think of to get them out of a scrape.

Diyoza came up with a very sneaky plan to pretend to still be asleep and then murder them a bunch. And it worked! They haven’t even reached the planet yet and they’ve already killed some locals. That is very on-brand.

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh* I don’t even want to get into it. Basically Murphy told Clarke that she’s the worst, and she agreed, and my eyes rolled so hard. This was thankfully interrupted by a couple of hunks going bonkers.

Bellamy and Clarke got out of their chains to go help, which was a very good idea, because if they hadn’t, everyone would have just stayed chained up and no one would have cut into anyone else, and that would have been boring. (We have to believe they were starting to be affected by the crazy-gas, right? We have to.)

Anyway, turns out both Miller and Jackson thought there were bugs in him and Jackson was all, “set me free so I can save him,” and Bellamy and Clarke were like, “sounds legit”, so Jackson ended up cutting into his boyfriend before both of them were knocked the hell out.

“I can’t die like Obika,” was a nice touch.

MEANWHILE,

Murphy escaped! And he had a rifle!

This was glorious. Bellamy started to go a bit coo-coo-bananas, and was pounding on the door for Echo to let him in while Emori totally mean-girled at her. But our girl Echo is too smart for that, so she TRANKED HERSELF. Then Bellamy turned his wacko energy on Clarke and was interrupted by some rifle fire.

[The first time around I thought Murphy was being a homicidal bad-shot, but upon second viewing I realized he was distracting Bellamy in order to save Clarke and SWEET HEAVEN MY HEART LOVED THIS.]



Abby sassed Octavia about their experiences in the bunker and said that even though she essentially used Octavia as a teenage-dictator-puppet in order to make people eat other people, she’s still the better person because she FEELS BAD. *painful eye roll*

The situation of someone suggesting to Diyoza that she not murder and her being 100% baffled by it is a recurring theme that I am fond of. Anyway, they bargained with the intruders for a hostage swap, and Raven donned the dead dude’s suit.

At this point Raven suggested using the air ducts, but Diyoza was all, “they’re too small for an adult, you IDIOT”, *wink*.

Octavia insulted everyone so that they’d beat the shit out of/kill her, and girl looked like she was honestly having the best time. The random MacGyver from before was about to do it when Abby stopped him. At this point I thought she was going to be all, “part of why you think she’s a monster is because of me, and part of why we lost so many people was because of my BF.” But NOPE! Abby instead said, “let her live with what she’s become.”

*siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh*

Okay look, I know that everyone is MOSTLY mad about her burning the farm, and yes, that was horrible, but all this Octavia-hate is a BIT MUCH. And Octavia asking to die doesn’t feel like emotional growth or a recognition of sins. This feels like a desperate, unloved, lonely young woman who sacrificed her soul for her people, and now wants a way out.

Speaking of young women fighting for their sanity alone…

Clarke got a fake call from her mom on the radio that was all, “JUST END IT.” This was very, very dark. Her own mother’s voice telling her that if she loved her daughter, she should kill herself? Daaaaaaaaaaamn, show.



Luckily our Beautiful Creepster stopped it and recruited her to go save Bellamy from himself.

Back up in space, things were getting VERY AWKWARD for a couple o’ babes trying to pull a fast one on some intruders. It wasn’t going very well for them, but then…

This was magic. Remember last week when I was like, “where’s Madi at?” WELL. Since Raven knows what’s up, she woke Madi in order to crawl through the child-sized air vents so she could drop from above and pull some surprise murder. I would have fist-pumped if it wasn’t so damn sad.

The lady dying was all, “THE BODIES THOUGH,” and the other lady was like, “yeah, duh,” and then everyone felt bad.

So three out of the four Sanctumites were dead, and the one still living gave them info on their planet, while simultaneously obsessing about the dead bodies (what is UP with those dead bodies, you guys????)

Murphy confronted Bellamy and tried to calm him down while Clarke struggled with whether or not to take her Hallucination-Mom’s advice and just kill herself. A fight broke out (obviously), where Bellamy almost drowned Murphy, and I was SCREAMING because I thought they’d actually do it. Clarke overcame her struggles just in time to give Bellamy a quick stab in the leg and pull Murphy out of the water.

With an assist from Murphy, Clarke was able to set off a gas bomb and they fell into a cuddly slumber that honestly looked really nice.

Hi Gaia!!!

Adventure Squad Part 2 arrived on the ground, but apparently only original cast members and their offspring got to actually GO on the adventure. So off they went (with a sexy stowaway leading the way) to find their pals and relations.

Ugh. My poor darling Raven. Her reaction to Shaw’s death was beautifully understated, but I’m sure we’ll see more on that later. Or maybe not. Girl has lost so much I’m not even sure this will register.

Squad Part 2 found Squad Part 1 and woke them up. Bellamy seemed particularly hung over in a “oh shit, what did I DO last night,” kind of way. I think Clarke was hunover too, because when Raven asked about Shaw, Clarke gave her NOTHING. Haha, like, that’s about right.

Oh, and the Beautiful Creepster has some sort of mysterious disease and I AM UPSET.

Anyway, then a bunch of kids came running over a hill to swelling music, and my heart was like, “how many of these kids will be dead by the end of the season?” and my head was like, “A LOT considering the adults don’t even bother to look after them.” Why were all the kids alone, you guys?

One of them asked Clarke if she was there to take them home, and she was like, “wait what?” and the kid was like, “huh?” and the audience was like, “come again???”

And that was it. HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA I love it when this show is all, “noodle on THAT for a week, SUCKAS!”

What did you guys think?? I’m digging the intrigue being set up, and the fact that we get to explore an entirely new world, complete with new dangers and new foes-maybe-friends-maybe. I have some beef about how the characters are treating each other, but I have faith that it’s leading to something satisfying.

And next episode we are going to get some G-D answers (possibly delivered by a hunky Lighbourne descent)!! HUZZAHHHHHH!!!

SOME STUFF

The fact that the Beautiful Creepster was the only one to relatively keep his shit together made my heart SING. The fact that he and Clarke took turns saving each other’s lives made it EXPLODE.

Related: WHY wasn’t Murphy affected by the psycho-air???

“We’ve eaten worse”, hahahahahahaha, I love it when The 100 throws some dark humour at us.

Jordan totally has a little crush on Raven (who doesn’t).

Octavia and Clarke are being done so dirty.

They explained what was confusing me last episode – how does an eclipse change the air? But it didn’t, it changed the PLANTS, which changed the air. *nods* Got it.

“I’ll take those details now.” Diyoza may be a straight-up sociopath, but girl knows how to get shit done.

WHY HAS NO ONE WOKEN INDRA????

If Abby could go back in time and change her cannibalistic actions (and thus Octavia’s), would anyone from the bunker still be alive? The no-logic blame-game is stressing me out!

Madi’s sass to Diyoza was a treat.

I AM SO INTRIGUED ABOUT THOSE DEAD BODIES, ARE WE GOING TO GET THE 100 ZOMBIES?????

“You’re a cancer. What do we do with cancer?” – “Cut it out.” Damn, show.

Jordan is so friendly towards everyone because he doesn’t know how NOT to be. Him coming to Octavia’s defense (twice) even after she insulted his father warmed my heart. I truly hope he becomes her friend, especially considering the bond she shared with Monty before she became wackadoodle.

If you saw a horde of laughing children running over a hill towards you, would you be like, “awwwww cute,” or would you RUN AND HIDE BECAUSE FOR SURE AT LEAST ONE OF THEM HAS PINK EYE.

OKAY THAT’S THAT GET HOME SAFE LOVE YOU BYE

