The torch to the Suffering Olympics is lit as soon as one person starts comparing and contrasting their personal pain and suffering to another person's experience of pain and suffering. Conversely, the Suffering Olympics are played when someone hides their own pain because they feel that it doesn't "measure up" to another person's -as if their own voice isn't valid compared to someone else's.

As a Cancer Grad, I often have to keep myself aware to not unwillingly diminish someone else's pain, due to any perceptions that their issues aren't or weren't as difficult as mine. Sometimes that perception stems from me, especially on the occasions when I start to fall, unchecked, into cancer self-pity. Other times that perception stems from other people.



For example, my husband suffers from debilitating back pain -piriformis syndrome- which tends to flare up once or twice a year if he isn't diligent about stretching and maintaining his core strength. It not only causes him severe physical pain, but mental and emotional stress as well. The pain limits him in a myriad of ways- when a flare-up occurs, he gets depressed & irritable. He feels vulnerable and disappointed with his body.



When he suffers during a flare up, I sometimes catch myself thinking, "You don't understand pain the way *I* do" - which isn't fair of me. The reality is, he doesn't need to be diagnosed with cancer in order for me to be sympathetic to his pain and frustration. When I recognize that I'm participating in the Suffering Olympics, I try to tap into my empathetic side- I'm very familiar with frustration and vulnerability, the sadness and pain we feel when our bodies fail us, even if it's for just a moment. I try to be vigilant in reminding myself that it doesn't matter if someone is drowning in 5 feet or 50 feet of water- the point is that they are DROWNING.