The Huffington Post decided to publish an article entitled “Top 5 Reasons Why You Should Plan to Be at the 2014 World Cup.”

I love Brazil. I love soccer. However, these two loves, the construction or reconstruction of stadiums under pressure, and 600,000 fans may not mix as well as some like to think.

Here are my top 5 reasons why I plan to avoid the World Cup activities:

1. Jeitinho

I like to define jeitinho as the Brazilian ability to get around, over, in or out of something despite a law, a regulation, a contract, physics or gravity. The World Cup regulations and operations will not be immune from jeitinho.

2. Traffic

São Paulo and Rio de Janeiro traffic is bad on a day when nothing special is happening. I’m not so sure about the other cities, but I’m guessing that all the attention and funding has been put into the stadiums and not infrastructure. I read a lot of articles and I have yet to read one in which someone has a plan for controlling transportation issue when all these foreigners roll in. Have you?

3. Crime

If you were a professional criminal, where would you hang out during the World Cup? Yes, I know they will be employing $7.2 million worth of robots for security, but… (see #1 jeitinho).

4. Inflation

If you think things are expensive in Brazil’s major cities now, just wait until you are part of a captured audience. Can’t imagine what parking or a Guarana might cost around the stadiums.

5. The Brazilian Fan

My Brazilian husband is quite an adventurous type and usually drags me along even when it gets a bit dangerous. Even he has refused to take me to a game, other than at the city-run Pacaembu, for fear of my possible entanglement of the over enthusiastic Brazilian soccer fan. Of course, the Brazil team won’t be playing every game. But I’m guessing the fans will be in or around the stadiums and the neighborhood bars will be drained.

For another American Exbrat Expat perspective on how the World Cup might be, see Imagine the World Cup – São Paulo, by Brazil in My Eyes.

I’m excited as any Brazilian or expat to host the games. I just don’t want to be actually caught up in the nightmare fun. So you will find me at home watching it on television in the safety of my home or at a local bar within running distance.

Where will you be for the Cup?