Although the rules and clothing are important, the most important way to prepare is emotionally and mentally. You are about to see your husband in a very difficult situation. He has lost all of his privileges and is now a ward of the state. He can only do what they allow him to do. His entire life has changed. He will be wearing a prison uniform, told where he must sit and monitored closely during your time together. That part was definitely the hardest part for me.

I didn’t mind the security screening, or the heavy locking doors clanging closed and locked behind me as I made my way to the visiting room once I saw my husband. Nothing else mattered to me as much as seeing him with my own eyes and knowing he was OK. His security to get into the visiting room was so much more invasive than mine. The prison strip searched my husband before and after every visit. My heart still aches for him when I think about it.

As you prepare for your first visit, my advice is to do your best to be prepared for the shock of seeing your husband in prison. That will be the most difficult part of the entire process. It is hard – in a way I cannot even describe to you—to see the person you love in this situation. Seeing him, knowing he is OK, and having time together is the best gift in the world.

I am rooting for you!

Cathy