All good little Zelda fans know by now that there have been many different versions of Link As well as many different versions of the Hyrule he protects However, they may not know that the version of Link found in The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past is just a, a massively arrogant asshole!

Yeah, I know, yeah, it's disappointing, isn't it? I mean, don't get me wrong, the game's phenomenal But, oh, oh, here he comes! Shh-shh! Okay, everybody calm down, I saved you! Things were bad, I won't lie, you were you were all gonna die But you're alive because I kick ass! So you're welcome, I guess, either way I'm the best I'm the Link, who's the Link to the past There's a bunch of Links Each of us distinct But I'm the best I am number one Look how fast I run And I'm really fun Guess I'm just blessed Yes, I saved Light and Dark Worlds Zelda too, and like six other girls My quest was epic and long As is my schlong I bring bad guys to their knees No, no, no, no, no autographs, please I'm a gift to you from the gods I'm the shit! And quite fit! Just admit you want my babies! You're like "Wow! Sacré bleu, we were deep in poo poo But Link showed up and voila, we were free" You were lost, stuck in bed, you were basically dead But you're all alive because of me! So you're welcome, no prob, yeah I did a great job But I just did what you woulda done That's a joke, obviously! No, it had to be me I'm the Link who's the Link to the past And my wiener is vast And you're all saved at last I kick ass