George Fucking Washington

Medium celestial, lawful good

Armor Class 21 (natural armor)

Hit Points 230 (20d8 + 140)

Speed 30 ft.

Abilities Str 27 (+8) Dex 21 (+5) Con 25 (+7) Int 26 (+8) Wis 26 (+8) Cha 30 (+10)

Saving Throws Str +15, Dex +12, Con +14

Skills History +22, Insight +15, Perception +15, Persuasion +17

Damage Resistances radiant; bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical damage

Damage Immunities necrotic, poison

Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened, poisoned

Senses truesight 120 ft., passive Perception 25

Languages all, telepathy 120 ft.

Challenge 24 (62,000 XP)

Honest AF. George knows if he hears a lie.

Innate Spellcasting. George’s innate spellcasting ability is Charisma (spell save DC 25). He can innately cast the following spells, requiring no material components:

At will: compelled duel, detect good and evil, heroism, levitate (self only)

3/day: jump, plane shift (self only)

1/day: banishment, conjure animals (eagles only), power word stun

Legendary Resistance (3/Day). If George fails a saving throw, he can choose to succeed instead.

Made in America. George’s weapon attacks are magical. When George hits with any weapon, the weapon deals an extra 8d8 radiant damage (included in the attack).

Magic Resistance. George has advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects.

Actions

Multiattack. George makes three attacks with his axe or two attacks with his chaingun.

Axe. Melee Weapon Attack: +15 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 11 (1d6 + 8) slashing damage plus 36 (8d8) radiant damage.

Chaingun. Ranged Weapon Attack: +12 to hit, range 80/240, one target. Hit: 26 (4d8 + 8) piercing plus 36 (8d8) radiant damage.

Spray. George targets a point that he can see within 80 feet of him. Each creature in a 10-foot cube area centered on that point must succeed on a DC 15 Dexterity saving throw or take 26 (4d8 + 8) piercing damage plus 36 (8d8) radiant damage. After George uses this action, he can’t use this action or his chaingun again until he uses his bonus action to reload it.

Leadership (Recharges after a Short or Long Rest). For 1 minute, George can utter a special command or warning whenever a nonhostile creature that he can see within 30 feet of him makes an attack roll or saving throw. The creature can add a d6 to its roll provided it can hear and understand George. A creature can benefit from only one Leadership die at a time. This effect ends if George is incapacitated.

Reactions

Parry. George adds 7 to his AC against one melee attack that would hit him. To do so, George must see the attacker and be wielding a melee weapon.

Legendary Actions

George can take 3 legendary actions, choosing from the options below. Only one legendary action option can be used at a time and only at the end of another creature’s turn. George regains spent legendary actions at the start of his turn.

Crossing the Delaware. George and up to five creatures of his choice within 10 feet of him magically teleport, along with any equipment they are wearing or carrying, up to 60 feet to an unoccupied space he can see. When he uses this effect against an unwilling creature, the creature must make a DC 25 Charisma saving throw. If the creature fails its save, it is teleported.

God Bless America (Costs 2 Actions). George screams some patriotic shit at his foes. Each creature of George’s choice in a 15-foot radius must make a DC 23 Constitution saving throw, taking 14 (4d6) thunder damage plus 14 (4d6) radiant damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a successful one.

Fucking Eye Lasers (Costs 3 Actions). George focuses his gaze on a target that he can see within 100 feet of him. If the target is a creature, it must succeed on a DC 23 Dexterity saving throw or take 45 (10d8) force damage. If this damage reduces the creature to 0 hit points, its body becomes a pile of fine gray dust that smells a bit like apple pie.

If the target is a Large or smaller nonmagical object or creation of magical force, it is disintegrated without a saving throw. If the target is a Huge or larger object or creation of magical force, the lasers disintegrate a 10-foot cube of it.