The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star blogs about her Dancing with the Stars experience exclusively for PEOPLE

Last week was not a great week for me.

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I didn’t really like my performance and watching it back, I liked it even less. I didn’t feel like I was comfortable or that I gave my best. There was some disconnect from the emotion and from my partner and to be honest, it wasn’t great.

I’ve never really felt like this before with an audience and in a show. I’ve never had a hard time connecting. I’ve always been kind of open, but I’m also trying to find the balance of what the judges are expecting and what they want.

Image zoom ABC/Craig Sjodin

Being called raunchy on the first night puts you on notice, for sure. You don’t want to change who you are, but its finding a balance of what they want. I’m not in my space out on stage doing my own music. I’m in their space and on their show and I want to give them what they are looking for. I think I’m a little in my head about it and being cautious. I’m not as open as I usually am, but I’m working on it.

It wasn’t easy being announced as in jeopardy last week. No one likes to be on the bottom of the leader board, so that is, like, “Ugh.” That’s the only way I can put it: “Ugh.” But it really motivated me to get back in the rehearsal room and work on what I need to work on.

This week is Disney week and Gleb and I are doing a Finding Dory-themed Vienesse waltz to Sia’s “Unforgettable.”

Disney might not be the first thing people think of when they think of me, but you have to remember that everyone is a complex human being. No one is just one way all the time. I grew up loving disney movies and love going to the park, so this is not a stretch.

But don’t expect a fish costume or anything. It’s a slow, more controlled dance. It’s definitely tricky, but there are some really beautiful parts to it. It’s a very elegant, intimate and sensitive dance that focuses on the emotional connection between you and your partner. It will be really sweeping and pretty and romantic.

I think the judges have been looking for the softer, more feminine and vulnerable side of my personality, and I think that’s what we aim to give them this week. I hope that comes across!