HOLLYWOOD, CA — The 90th Academy Awards may have celebrated diversity and inclusivity, but director Rian Johnson believes real change won’t happen until existing Academy members retire or die.

“They’re a bunch of sexist manbabies who really don’t understand movies let alone deconstructed cinema with subversive themes. The Academy is still made up of straight white men who are scared of women, particularly strong women with purple hair.”

Johnson’s heated comments were made in response to The Last Jedi being snubbed in four technical categories at the Oscars. “I wouldn’t be surprised if Academy members were behind the Rotten Tomatoes review bombing that sawed the legs right out from under my film.”

Despite several firsts for persons of color and powerful speeches by women, including Best Actress winner Frances McDormand, Johnson feels the Oscars were a virtue-signaling sham.

“It’s easy to prop up a woman or gay black panther man in an acting category, but until the Academy recognizes the straight white men and women responsible for making true diversity happen – I’m talking colorful alien creatures with multiple teets and otherwordly soundscapes — well, it’s all just lip service.”

For the record, Star Wars has gone without an Oscar victory since 1984, when Return of the Jedi picked up a statue for Best Special Effects.

“Obviously, the sequel trilogy is going waaaay over the heads of the Academy and most hardcore fans. So you’re telling me The Force Awakens and The Last Jedi failed to resonate… but Return of the friggin’ Jedi… really? I have faith the Canadian Screen Awards will recognize brilliance and award The Last Jedi a platinum maple leaf.”

If anyone is keeping score, here’s a breakdown of all the Oscar nominations the Star Wars saga has garnered:

A New Hope: 12 nominations, 7 wins

Empire Strikes Back: 4 nominations, 2 wins

Return of the Jedi: 5 nominations, 1 win

The Phantom Menace: 3 nominations

Attack of the Clones: 1 nomination

Return of the Sith: 1 nomination

The Force Awakens: 5 nominations

Rogue One: 2 nominations

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-William “Willybobo” Bobo