In honor of National Condom Month and in anticipation of Condom Awareness Week — which just “happens” to fall around Valentine’s Day — Trojan created this mini-documentary on the long, storied history prophylactics.

The first documented use of condoms dates back some five thousand years to the Egyptians, who used linen sheets over their ancient penii as a means of protection from sexually transmitted diseases and to prevent pregnancy.

So it seems that before mummies were wrapped up, even they were wrapping it up — so what’s your excuse?