I do so feel your pain. I can't be in any parent's place but my own, so take this for what it's worth, but I think a lot of the overwhelming nature of your experience comes from the "highly active" part. We used to have play dates with kids--toddler age, mind you--who would plop down on the floor and stack blocks for 20 min. Meanwhile, mine were ignoring all toys (except perhaps to break them) climbing not in the play structure but on top of it--all the better for imperiling leaps from the top--and abandoning even that after 5 minutes to run to the next thing, a process repeated on a 5-minute cycle from daybreak to evening collapse (ours and theirs).

I would just stare at the contented block-stacking child and wonder where those came from.

So with this in mind I agree that a temporary fix isn't going to do it.

I disagree, though, that "having a babysitter more" is a throwaway or temporary fix. On the contrary, I think the way to get through the exhaustion is to delegate the workload--both physical and emotional--as much as you possibly can and as responsibly as you can. That means more babysitting (not ad hoc, but as a standing appointment X days per week), more care via child-care center or preschool, more conversation with your spouse about whether the labor has been distributed evenly between you, more reliance on paid dog-walking, more *standing, scheduled* appointments with yourself for alone time away from the family so you can catch your breath, and for your husband, too. You both need ways to recharge.

These solutions generally aren't cheap, though you can find ways to economize (e.g. neighbor kid vs. professional dog-walker). But this immediate pressing need will pass and you can get out from under these extra expenses relatively soon, so as long as you can swing them with minimal or no deficit spending, do so without guilt. It's about bringing your best self to the job of raising your kids, which means getting through as safely and calmly as you can.