Part 1: The Onion's Position On Marijuana Legalization

It has been nearly 82 years since marijuana was first officially banned as an illicit substance in the United States. Over that time, we have seen incredible changes across our nation. We have survived a world war and the Cold War, seen the sexual revolution and legalization of abortion, impeached a president, and suffered the rise of reality TV. But somehow, marijuana remains taboo as thousands are unjustly imprisoned through an ill-advised and ill-fated war on drugs. After decades of such folly, the choice is clear: We must legalize marijuana as the next step on our path to the breakdown of all laws and societal norms. If we someday want to live in a world where heroin, sex trafficking, and murder are all permitted, we need to start by legalizing pot.