Planned Parenthood, an organization that receives hundreds of millions of federal dollars every year, has teamed up with MTV on a website called It’s Your (Sex) Life, where they claim to offer comprehensive information on sex to teens. Considering Planned Parenthood’s record of giving terrible and dangerous advice to minors, I tested it out by posing as a 15-year-old girl on their “chat with an expert page,” asking if anal sex is safe.

This is the conversation I had with Planned Parenthood.

At this point, the representative began trying to sell me an IUD, which I said I didn’t want because I heard it could induce abortion and I didn’t want that. “Beverly” ignored that concern completely and moved on to trying to sell me other forms of birth control.

I purposefully said my boyfriend was a lot older than me, hoping the adult in this conversation might ask how old in case this was a statutory rape or abuse situation. She didn’t.

A screaming, burning infection is not really the same thing as “irritating.”

It took major prodding to get her to admit just those few risks, but she left out the worst ones. “Beverly” did not inform me of the great risk of anal tears, fissures, anal infections, anal cancer, incontinence, and anal prolapse. Why? What kind of sex educators don’t know about those things? Are these really the people we want “educating” our kids about sex? They actually tell kids to use Saran Wrap for protection while “rimming.”

Instead of giving out complete information about the dangers of anal sex, the Planned Parenthood rep sent me to a link about it on Planned Parenthood’s website. Don’t watch this video while eating.

Unfortunately, it gets worse. I then posed as a 13-year-old boy looking for information about auto-erotic asphyxiation, which can be deadly. The only acceptable answer to this question is: “Do not engage in this activity because you could die or get brain damage.” That’s not what happened. I did it twice to verify.

Second try:

I was told to check with my local Planned Parenthood office. They claimed they only talk about pregnancy testing and STDs and birth control, but “Beverly” had just talked to me about anal sex, which doesn’t seem to fit what “Bronson” is claiming. I made sure to let Bronson know that “Joe” was going to try it anyway to see if he would try to stop him. He didn’t.

These are supposed to be professionals, there on call to answer kids’ questions about sex. A kid asks them about a deadly sexual behavior and they suddenly can’t discuss it? Why wouldn’t they advise him to never EVER try such a stupid thing? Instead, they let this person they thought was a kid go to Google for his source. In the second example, he told them he was going to do it and they still didn’t warn him! How are these people qualified to give advice on sexual behavior if they can’t even tell kids that choking themselves is DANGEROUS?