HIC! Hic! A...Awright...ya...ya! Fuckers! Here's...hic! Hic! 'Ere's an...another drun...nken...Drunken! T-t-tale...HIC!

So...Me...hic...Me and...Hic! This quiet....qu...qui...hic! Qui-hic-ut lady...and B...B...PANTH...PANTHER LADY! W...we hic...w...went to a bar! Yeah...yech....a b...bar. A great o-o-one! It was c...c...called the P...P...Parte....Parted Sea!

See...Hic. It was a bar, t...th...that had a Ch..>Christian theme! So me...me and the g...gals...We got hamme-hamme-hammered! Hic... And it was fookin' great! We...we got sloshed, I ha...I had like... four bottles of wine and a couple of beers...m...maybe more? I can't re...remember, but the rum I chased down m...my scotch with was g...great! I've go...I've got a huge tolerance! Hic! I usually s...start my...my mornings with a couple shots o' vodka...!

But th-th-hic-then! J-just as I was feel-feeling goood...some pricks i...Pricks in robes came in and...and started callin' us all lesbian heathens...hic...hic! N-next thing I... Hic, hic! Know...A bar brawl happened, I...I uh...s...stabbed a guy or two...may...maybe B...Branden shot someone? I can...I can't remember much but anyway! Seem...seems in all th...the excitement...it was set on f-fire! So...so we go...got to watch a...b-buncha Chri...Christian dudes put it out.