Our society is under attack.

The My Hitch, much like Crocs and those people who talk with their phones on speakerphone in public, is out to destroy the civility and general decency that our society needs to survive. My Hitch is a device that resembles a giant shoehorn which allows you drag your suitcase through an airport... with your butt.

Yes, you are supposed to attach this device to the back of your pants and make your way through the airport like you're doing something completely normal (not like the person who is dragging luggage linked to your ass). Let's not even get into what may happen when you pass your gate while looking at your phone — because why else would you buy this if you aren't looking at your phone — and abruptly turn around, causing damage and / or second-hand embarrassment to everyone behind you.

Now, it's inevitable that someone will buy this — most likely the guy who talks on speakerphone in public, or the other guy who stares at you while talking over a Bluetooth headset — and those people should be ashamed of themselves. My Hitch is $18. Just know if you buy this, we will judge you.