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THE HSE has come under fire yet again today after a detailed report found that thousands of women are waiting up to 9 months to give birth in Irish hospitals, WWN can confirm.

The shocking report found that the large majority of expecting mothers are being “fobbed off” by national hospitals every few weeks, with many women left to suffer swollen ankles and various other ailments including piles, nausea, high blood pressure and even swollen abdomens.

“I keep going in there every month and all they do is scan my belly and tell me to come back again in four weeks – it’s a fucking disgrace,” one pregnant mother told WWN, “they don’t seem too compassionate about it either. The actually enjoy the pain we’re in and even laugh and joke about it every time I go in”.

Upon further investigation by this fine publication, WWN reporters were astounded to find hundreds of women suffering from extremely large torsos as a result of the HSE’s neglect, however, staff at the hospital defended their treatment of the women.

“There is nothing unnatural about being pregnant for 9 months,” an alleged nurse explained, who seemed to be wallowing in the torture and pain the women were going through around her in the maternity ward.

The disgusting and unnecessary practice is believed to have already hit epidemic proportions with a staggering 99% of women forced to wait the best part of a year to finally have their child.

More as we get it.