

(Via a Maryland athletics video)

I prefer my mascots furry and friendly, smiling creatures of goodwill and harmony, devoted to on-field hijinx and hugging children and becoming stuffed animals and maybe making fun of the other team and “accidentally” falling down stairs and suffering hilarious groin injuries and stuff.

But there are other kinds of mascots, as well. The ones who subsist on raw flesh and rusty nails, whose teeth are razors and whose arms are sledgehammers, who would sneer before they smile and howl before they laugh, who would make you cross to the other side of the street, and then climb the fence, and then leap over the fence in terror and sprint away, trying to forget the horrible thing you had just seen.

The new Testudo mascot featured in the new Maryland football hype video is one of the second sort. This is not a mascot your child would hug. This is a mascot you would not want within 20 feet of your child. Unless your child worked for Under Armour, maybe.

(Via Inside Maryland Sports)



(Via a Maryland athletics video)



(Via a Maryland athletics video)



(Via a Maryland athletics video)