Marriage Strike!

The general male population is going on a massive "Marriage Strike!" A recent paper from Rutgers University going by the title "Why Men Won't Commit" found ten significant reasons why men are avoiding formal marriage while substituting it with cohabiting. Three of these reasons stand out amongst the ten. They are:

1. They can obtain sex without having to get married,

2. They can enjoy "a wife" through cohabitation,

and a now emerging as the major "unspoken reason" for doing this:

3. They want to avoid divorce and its financial risks.

Of these three reasons, the third one stands out as being the most significant. Recent evidence coming over the internet is revealing the reasons--most often heard are that non-marrying men are in serious fear of financial devastation often encountered in divorce, and of losing meaningful contact with children afterward. The Rutgers report states: "Many men also fear the financial consequences of divorce. They say that their financial assets are better protected if they cohabit rather than marry. They fear that an ex-wife will 'take you for all you've got' and that 'men have more to lose financially than women' from a divorce."

Matthew Weeks in his recent article "The Marriage Strike" says similar things, "If we accept the old feminist argument that marriage is slavery for women, then it is undeniable that--given the current state of the nation's family courts---divorce is slavery for men." According to Weeks' math, one in two marriages will fail [the national statistic is one in seven fail, ending in divorce] with the wife being twice as likely to initiate the proceedings on grounds of "general discontent"--the minimum requirement of no-fault divorce. The odds of the women receiving custody of children are overwhelming, with many fathers effectively being denied visitation. The wife usually keeps the "family" assets and, perhaps, receives alimony as well as child support. Many men confront continuing poverty to pay for the former marriage. Weeks conclusion: "Over five million divorced men in America are currently experiencing the situation I just outlined. Without a doubt, their stories and experiences are heard by unmarried men. Can anyone truly blame the men for having apprehension?" In his article Weeks uses a new term which is catching on--"The Marriage Strike." While most of the men who go "on strike" are probably doing it very quietly, others are making a loud political statement. The Joint Parenting Association declares " An international 'marriage strike' by men is set to continue indefinitely until Family Law is reformed to recognize that fathers love their children too ."

Here are some scary statistics, which go from the year 1960 to the year 2000:

The number of marriages per 1,000 unmarried women from age 15-plus has declined from 73.5 to 46.5 (cut in half!).

The number of divorces per 1,000 unmarried women age 15-plus has risen from 9.2 to 18.9 (doubled!).

What we see by these figures is that the number of women remaining single instead of choosing marriage has grown significantly, as should be expected with greater numbers of couples choosing cohabitation over conventional marriage. (i.e. couples choosing cohabitation show up on statistics as single adults.) Also included in this group are women who choose to remain childless or raise children by themselves (a devastating situation for children).

The number of births per 1,000 women age 15-44 has declined from 118.0 to 67.5 (cut in half!).

The percentage of live births to unmarried women rose from 5.3 to 33.2 (600 percent rise in unwed births!).

The percentage of children under 18 living with a single parent rose from 9 to 27 (300 percent rise in single-parent families!).

How should we interpret this information? It is becoming painfully obvious that the steep rise in cohabitation has caused the devastation we find occurring within marriages and families. The number of unmarried adults cohabiting with the opposite sex has skyrocketed from 439,000 in 1960 to 4,736,000 in 2000 (a whopping 1000 percent rise!). But before blaming cohabitation for all these nasty statistics, let's take a more careful look at the motives behind it. Let's try to get to the bottom of what's going on here. Why do people choose this family-devastating alternative?

Who wins in the cohabiting situation during a break-up? The answer, the man. He can walk away almost scot-free, retain his assets, visitation rights if there are children, and only faces child support at best. The "marriage strike" reverses the tables and all the negatives brought on by the current unfair bias by Family Courts and the feminist movement--it reverses the tables on women--but sadly, not the women who deserve the consequences, those who have financially enslaved over 5 million divorced men. Realize, it is Family Courts and these feminist women who are directly responsible for having set a counter-movement rolling in direct reaction to these injustices which have been wrought on five million American men. The men are fighting back in the only way they can--and all women and the very future of the family in America and the British countries are at stake and suffering as a direct result. Family life in this "modern society" we find ourselves living in is crumbling as a direct result. The men are only reacting to a clear and present evil in the legal system. But cohabiting hurts women and children, not the men. The statistics show this, they don't lie. Sex outside of marriage hurts women and children far more than men. But this situation will not come under control until women--married women--are no longer allowed to put men into financial-legal slavery. Isn't it time for a truce? Isn't it time both men and women learned how to make marriage work? Women devastating men financially and legally/Men going on "Marriage Strike" which denies women all legal rights--both of these actions fail to correct the fundamental problem--and instead both actions are destroying the very fabric and building block of our society and nation--the American (and yes, British) family unit.

The next question we should ask ourselves, and this is important folks: Who has fallen down in providing the answers to this problem and a dynamic example of the way marriage ought to be? Who has failed to show a way out of this devastating quandary, this marital quagmire, this stalemate we're increasingly finding ourselves in? The answer: The Christian church. Isn't that amazing? You would think the Christian church in America would have the answer, and that it would be dynamically applying it, showing the way out of this nasty problem that is inflicting huge woes on our society. But sadly the same high divorce rates and broken homes are reflected in Christian families throughout the United States (and yes, Commonwealth countries was well ). If you are a Christian, you owe it to the whole non-Christian community you live in to actively know how to have a happy, fulfilling marriage--one bubbling over in happiness. Now let's get personal. Do you? Is your marriage happy and fulfilling, bubbling over in happiness--the kind that makes your neighbors look over at you in envy, wishing it were so in their marriages? God is not going to judge the non-Christian community so much for their ignorance and misguided reactions in the current marital situation. They truly don't know any better, they don't use or believe in the Bible with all it's wisdom, the wisdom of the Eternal God who designed and created man and woman. Besides, they're already being judged and penalized by the fruit of their actions. No, God is going to judge those who should have known better, those who have direct access to the solution to this nasty problem. Ask yourself, can your next-door neighbor look at you and your spouse and see a marriage bubbling over in happiness and contentment--and be somewhat envious? If not, you need to do something about it right now. You are in obvious ignorance on the fundamental knowledge of how to have and promote a happy marriage. God doesn't view this as an option for the Christian couple, but an obligation we have to set a proper example to our non-Christian neighbors in the communities we live in. So if your answer to that question is "No" or "I'm not sure that my marriage is all that happy", log onto the link below and learn the ABC's of having a happy, fulfilled marriage, a marriage that will bubble over in happiness and contentment. Just click on: http://www.UNITYINCHRIST.COM/christiangrowth/HisNeeds_HerNeeds.htm and apply the wisdom of God's Word to your own marriage. The editor.