Is that a distended abdomen, or are You just happy to see me, Lord? Oklahoma churchgoers are not very pleased with a new crucifix that appears to grant Jesus a rather sizable dick. Crucifixion? More like "Cruci-dick-tion," am I right?

As though the Catholic Church doesn't have enough to worry about! Apparently, several worshippers have parted ways from the church, thanks to the penis-Christ:

"There are a couple people who have left the parish," said the Rev. Philip Seeton, the church's pastor. "There are people in the parish who don't like it and have stayed." Critics of the crucifix take issue with what appears to be a large penis covering Jesus' abdominal area. Seeton said the portion of the crucifix in question is meant to be Jesus' abdomen "showing distension" - not a penis.

Like we always used to say—"No, no, that's not a boner—it's just my abdomen showing distention."

[News OK; thanks to BullfightsOnAcid for the tip]