Anonymous asked: I hate to ask this because you've already talked about it so much and I don't want to be rude, but what are your thoughts on men who claim to be feminists or have feminist ideas in the celebrity-related sphere? YouTubers, or Actors, or whomever? I mean I personally don't have an issue with it as long as they're being supportive and not trying to take leadership roles in it, but I'm really interested in your opinion? :)

thedatingfeminist:

orphangay:

fawnfaced: thatdiabolicalfeminist: I used to be totally fine with it but the more men I see calling themselves feminists the less okay I am with it. Male feminists who don’t understand the most basic concept of how to be an ally have ruined it.

Seeing men take a leadership role in a movement that’s about ending their privilege and power over us makes me hugely uncomfortable, and I feel like they so often have NO IDEA that they shouldn’t do that.

Asking men to call themselves feminist allies seems like a great idea to me because it can spark a conversation about what an ally actually is and what men are expected to do as feminist allies. It makes it very clear that feminism isn’t a movement for men.

Also, as loads of feminists have pointed out it’s kind of a great litmus test to see how well guys can handle taking a subordinate role in the movement - if someone throws a fit at simply being asked to call himself an ally instead of a feminist, is he actually here to work with us for our goals, or is he going to insist his views take precedence even here, a movement to end his unfair power over us? So yeah, in my opinion a guy who really wants to support feminism should call himself a feminist ally.

saying a man has to call himself an ally is implying that he is in fact, not a feminist. a straight cis person can be an ally for LGBT but they cannot be LGBT since they only support it, as ally means they themselves are not one.

anybody who believes and is active in social justice IS in fact a feminist and saying men cannot call themselves a feminist is extremely misandrist. also, as feminism is believing in equality of the sexes, misandrists aren’t feminists. also like what about male rape victims or men who get made fun of for “acting like a girl”??? those things are calls for feminism and they can definitely be feminists, not just “feminist allies” because then youre saying only females can be feminists, which kind of negates the whole “equality of the sexes”.

1) Misandry isn’t real. Misogyny is a result of thousands of years of men being in charge and keeping their power by devaluing women and privileging other men. It’s a whole huge set of ideas, rules, and traditions that give men systemic power over us.



There isn’t that whole huge set of ideas, rules, or traditions to oppress men – they are the ones with the most power when we divide by gender. So it’s not possible to oppress them for being men. Misandry is not a real thing that happens.

2) You know how the LGBTQIA+ movement is for LGBTQIA+ people? How it’s about ending the power non LGBTQIA+ people have to oppress us? Feminism is for people who aren’t men. It’s about ending the power men have to oppress us. The movement is for us. It is not for men.



3) When a straight person gets called “gay” as an insult, are they being oppressed for being straight? No. They’re being compared to a group that is oppressed as an insult. The very identity of this group they have power over has become a thing you call people to be mean.



Who needs the most help in this situation, the person whose identity has become an insult, or the person who doesn’t have that identity but gets called it sometimes when people are feeling mean?

When a man gets called a “girl”, and it’s supposed to insult him, that’s male power backfiring. Men are supposed to be so much better than women that being called one is an insult. The solution is to teach people that it’s not bad to be a woman and that women are valuable and important.

In the same way, men who get told that men don’t get raped are being victimized by a culture that thinks men are so much better and more powerful than women that men aren’t capable of being hurt in the way people hurt women. The solution is to change our rape culture that treats rape like it’s a personal weakness of women.



4) Feminism is about changing the rules so men don’t have so much power over everybody else. While most feminists do care about male power backfiring on men, we start by teaching people to value women and other people who aren’t men. That’s our starting place. This movement will help men who get hurt by the side effects of male power, but it’s for people who are oppressed directly by male power.



Men who want to help are our allies. But they’re not us. Even though patriarchy (male power) backfires on them sometimes, they’re not in the direct line of fire, and this movement is to save those who are. When they’re shooting at us, we care about who’s in front of the bullet first, and let the people on the shooting side deal with the bruises the people get from recoil.



Feminism is one movement where men are not the focus.

So just like we ask people who aren’t LGBTQIA+ to call themselves allies, some feminists feel a lot better about pro-feminist men calling themselves “allies”. It’s a reminder that the movement is not centered on you and you are here to support us.



5) “Equality of the sexes” is a good place to start understanding feminism, but there’s so much more to know, like the fact that men have privilege over women and other non-men and that there’s no such thing as misandry. Here are a bunch of posts that may help you understand feminism better.

