Dear Chrome, I want a divorce

Chrome, we need to talk. This probably comes as a surprise, but I want a divorce. This was not an easy decision, I assure you. But it’s been on my mind for quite a while now.

We have been together for a lot of years. Going through all the bookmarks we shared together was a hard one! Damn, did we spend a lot if time on the PHP manual pages^^. We really went through a lot together! Remember when the keys of my keyboard got stuck and you wouldn’t stop playing random trash music on Youtube? Remember the time I screwed around with those fancy React Native debugging tools and you wouldn’t stop slowing us down because you were uncomfortably stuck in the background? Ahhh, good times.

But you know how these things happen. You click through a couple of websites, get to know new software & apps. And then one thing leads to the other… You know what I mean.

It started out as nothing, seriously. Just occasionally checking new websites we built and texting with the messaging integrations you lack. I know, nothing that you couldn’t fix. But we talked about changes too often already. Nothing really improves with you.

I know what you’re thinking. How could I – after all those hours spent together on reddit – simply abandon you? How many flame wars we lost together, proud like a phenix? I’m sorry I have to tell you, but you lag! And not just once in a while, but constantly. At first I thought I could deal with it. Maybe take some time investing in our relationship, cleaning the cache and browsing history so we can start all over. I even tried relationship counselling with Dr. Google. Nothing seems to help anymore.

And believe me, I could live with some rendering errors and old school stylesheets. Even the constant complaining about the lacking network could be fixed. But I’m tired of waiting for you. Tired of waiting for you to render some json data. Tired of waiting for you to render anything. Tired of waiting for you to restart after you crashed again. You are Chrome for crying out loud! Not some weird Internet Explorer.

Therefore, I’m leaving you. I moved my stuff today over to my new companion of choice: Opera. She might not be perfect, but at least she doesn’t turn my CPU to an overpriced oven. And even though she won’t do all the things you did for me, I’m at a better place for now.

Image by Matthew Henry