Countless threesomes, damaging his pelvis and chasing 'unicorns': Author who spent three years having sex with dozens of couples lifts lid on the swinging underworld

Daniel Stern started swinging to overcome his own anxieties about sex

Stern finds out about the sex parties on Craigslist or sex websites



Swinging consists of one-on-one encounters, threesomes or foursomes



Los Angeles-based author Daniel Stern (pictured) threw himself in the underworld of swinging at sex parties

An author has lifted the lid on the world of swingers and revealed how thanks to the Internet they have come out of suburbia and into a home near you.



Los Angeles-based Daniel Stern spent three years having sex with dozens of couples in his quest to understand the subculture known as ‘The Lifestyle’.



His conquests include a vixen in her 50s who liked having sex with soldiers and a mother who switched from bad cop to loving mother when her five-year-old walked in on them.



He tells how he becomes such a hit that he had three ‘playdates’ a week including one with a wife who screams so loudly he worried the neighbors would call the police.



At one sex party he was the youngest there by three decades - where the mature ladies fought amongst themselves to ‘break him in’.



Along the way he learned the ‘Swing Commandments’ to ensure that he wins acceptance and gets praised as a ‘respectful and skilled single male’.



Stern hopes that other men will read his book and become better educated swingers than he was - and won’t have to go through the same hardships that he did.



In his expose of the American swing scene, Stern has gone to great lengths to disguise who the people are that he mentions in his encounters.



But he is honest about himself and says that swinging was a way to overcome his own anxieties about sex.

Stern, who lives in Los Angeles, says that the golden rules of swinging are: thou shalt not lie - be truthful about your appearance, your age, relationship status and sexual orientation.

Stern describes his encounters at sex parties as either one-on-ones, threesomes or foursomes - sometimes with women decades older than him (photo posed by models)

He tells aspiring swingers not to judge others, embrace rejection and be polite when it happens.



Swinging is broken down into a number of scenarios: one-on-one, threesomes, the hard or full swap - essentially a foursome when two couples all have sex, a soft swap - couples switch partners but no oral or intercourse takes place - and group scenarios.



Single women are known as ‘unicorns’ because they are so rare and so treasured.



Stern finds out about sex parties on Craigslist or sex websites on the Internet and, once he has a lead, goes on masturbation diets to ensure that ‘there was no way I wasn’t going to be able to perform’.



Of his encounters, the anecdotes are legion.



One man with a brusque voice calls him up and asks right away: ‘So, you have experience with rough sex’.



At eight that night he goes to the address the man texted to be greeted by a woman called Arianna who wore ‘a powder blue lace bra and matching panties’.



Stern and another man engaged in uncomfortable small talk about granite versus laminate counter tops before being introduced to ‘Gina’ who was in a side room.



Stern writes: ‘Each of her limbs was tied to a different corner of the mattress with thickly braided white rope and over her petite, tanned torso were sprinkled condoms of seemingly every size and variety in the history of prophylactic manufacture.



‘Gina appeared a sexual sundae of sorts’.

Stern tells how he became such a hit that he had three 'playdates' per week and found sex parties on Cragislist (picture posed by models)

Four men have sex with her and Arianna and Stern joins in until he tries to stand on the mattress - and clips his head on a ceiling fan, sending blood over himself and ruining the mood.



He receives oral sex from a single woman in a secluded spot in his car and sleeps with a woman in her 50s who tells a Marine who has also been invited to the party: ‘I can take whatever you got soldier’.



Stern writes about the physical dangers of swinging and whilst having sex with one particularly athletic partner he is thrown off her and onto the floor where he injures his pelvis.



The golden rules of swinging are: thou shalt not lie - be truthful about your appearance, your age, relationship status and sexual orientation.

Stern is hurt so badly he is put on morphine and has to see an orthopedist who says he needs an agonising procedure and weeks of treatment to correct the damage.



In the author disclaimer, Stern writes that ‘swinging isn’t for everyone’ and asks that readers come with an ‘open mind and a certain level of curiosity’.



He says that anyone can follow in his footsteps, so long as they are respectful and follow the rules of The Lifestyle.



He writes: ‘I’m a regular guy.



‘Granted, a regular guy who’s had one-on-ones, MFMs, FMFs, foursomes, moresomes, gang bangs, orgies, phone sex, text sex, car sex, and public sex.’



He adds: ‘By subjecting myself to sexual experience after sexual experience after sexual experience I was demystifying the act of sex, desensitizing my reaction to it and chipping away at the fear it held over me and beneath which I was pinned.



‘Now, years later, I’d escaped that tonnage of performance-hindering anxiety and understood sex for what it was: fun’.



For the rest of the book he continues his anecdotes, such as when he is at a party full of older couples and is the youngest by far.



Daniel Stern's book Swingland gets between the sheets of the lifestyledaniel stern swingland

Stern writes how he surveys the room whilst eating some mashed potatoes he serves himself from the buffet which had been laid on by the hosts.



A woman called Jackie jumps onto him just as he finishes eating, tears his clothes off and summons two more males to wear down her ‘limitless energy’.



She screams at all three of them: ‘F*** me now!’



Things continue until Jackie has ‘the orgasm of all orgasms’ that causes her to collapse and for Stern to temporarily fear that she has died - until she comes out of it.



On another occasion, given just an hour’s notice, Stern borrows his friend’s car and drives halfway across town to meet a couple who want a threesome.



While the wife busied herself in the bathroom on their hotel room, her husband and Stern watched a Steven Seagal movie to pass the time - which they left on whilst both having sex with her.



The first sex party he details includes a copy of the invitation to ‘Lionel and Sarah’s 7th Annual Anything Goes Party!’



It reads: ‘Arrival at 7pm, Dinner at 7.30pm, followed by Playtime at 7.31pm’.



Once inside Stern talks to a large man called Bob and introduces himself with the words: ‘I’m a boring straight male’, which were designed to put him at ease.



Bob asks Stern if he likes to give oral sex, if he is a good kisser and if he uses condoms. Bob then asks how big Stern’s penis is and if he trims downstairs.



When Stern reveals that his balls are shaven, Bob replies: ‘Good man’ and lets his wife have sex with him.



Stern sums up the process like this: ‘I had progressed this far with Bob because I knew f****** Bob’s wife as the same as f****** Bob’.