Disclaimer/Apologies: I did not write down my opponents’ names during the tournament, because I didn’t expect this to win more than a couple games. If anyone knows the names of my 2nd, 3rd, and 5th round opponents, has a last or first name to fill in where needed, etc., please let me know either by e-mail or in the comments. -Jon

Thallids. Thrulls. Elves and humans scrabbling out a living in hiding. Icy creeps across the land.

Twenty-one players gathered at Dice City, coming from as far away as New York and North Carolina, to toss around some ancient pieces of cardboard, with additional prizes available for stuffing your deck with creatures of the same subtype. That’s right: it was an Old School tournament filled featuring tribal decks.

I played “Sarpadia After The War,” a warped version of my black–green build of of The Machine:

The deck represents the condition of Sarpadia after the empires fall.

Icatia, the last-standing empire, has been overthrown by the combined might of the thrulls, thallids, orcs, and goblins. The thrulls continue evolving, and the thallids grow and propagate. Orcs and Goblins are eventually wiped our as well, leaving the continent wild, wooly, and overgrown. There are some remnants of civilization: A handful of elves, some traitors to their people, and some subsistence farming in the wilderness; skilled rangers; stealthy assassins quick with a blade; a priceless artifact or two; and the battlefields and ruins of the fallen empires. It’s getting cold as the Ice Age begins.

Is this a serious deck? Is it any good? Should you netdeck this and sleeve it up right now? They say you should never go full Vorthos, and the Djinn are certain evidence that I didn’t go that far. But let me tell you: Almost every card in the deck pulled its weight, and this a motley crew of storytelling jank surprised me. But heck no, this isn’t a serious deck. Also, don’t copy my deck. Tell your own story, you!

The prize support was fairly bonkers for a tournament this size, including an unlimited Icy Manipulator, an alpha Blue Elemental Blast, Preacher, and some very rare early swag (unpunched counters from around the release of Fallen Empires, Tempest-era long boxes, and some one-of-a-kind objects).

Let’s talk about what else was in the room. There were nine tribal decks and four entrants for Most Creative.

Jimmy Cooney (owner and manager of Dice City Games) played his Fungal Enchantress deck, which won Most Creative Deck in the SCGCON Old School side event in April 2018. Jimmy was the other tribal deck in the top 8 (he got 8th place). Every single one of his matches went to time! We were both glad we didn’t get paired because the last time we played each other with these decks, it was fairly excruciating.

Adam Rice played Wall tribal. Wall. Tribal. It was basically Tax–Edge–Tower with amazing blockers and Earthquakes.

There were two Zombie decks (played by Stephen and Keach). One was an aggro Zombie deck feature Howl from Beyond of all things, and the other a deck I was truly terrified that I might be paired against, Zombie Disco: an amazing take on the Troll-Disco style deck. Zombie Master gives his little gravelings regeneration. What’s better than an army of Zombies? Keeping your entire Army when your opponent doesn’t get to keep theirs.

Matt Bessel’s version of the Sligh deck featuring dwarves made its now-typical respectable showing, just barely missing top 8.

Paul Desilva drove down from New York to lay Thrull Rack, a take on Mono Black Rack with Thrull Champion, Mindstab Thrull, Breeding Pit, and Soul Exchange.

Nick Batista played Mammoth Tribal. There are exactly 8 elephants in old school, and Elephant Graveyard to regenerate them. I don’t know how many times in Magic history someone has cast War Mammoth off of Black Lotus, but I can’t imagine it’s very common.

The winner was Artifact Creatures, so a tribe took down the whole tournament, beating MirrorBall in the 5th round. You can hear a bit more about the tournament in general on the All Tings Considered podcast.

Round 1: Luke with Pink Weenie

Luke is the player the tournament was benefiting. He ran into a Starbucks one day and just that quickly someone smashed his car window and made off with a backpack full of old school, including his Naya Tax–Edge deck filled with all the unaffordable cards.

I congratulate Luke on his first-round win when he tells me what he’s playing, but my prognostication is not to be!

Luke takes game 1 after quite a bit of maneuvering. This game featured a play you may only see in Old School: Both of us Strip Mined our own lands this game. I did it to keep him from taxing, and two turns later he did it so he could tax. Land Tax is a truly silly card.

I used a Terror on a Thunder Spirit fairly early to stem the bleeding and to try and stay above 10 life so I don’t die out of nowhere from Bolts, and he followed up with a Preacher, played off a Rainbow Vale, Strip Mine, and a single Plains. I have a Devourer, Cockatrice, and Birds of Paradise on the board, so when he gets the birds, it’s a bit of a double whammy: He was back on double white mana despite me keeping the Vale, and he’s able to start populating the board while I can’t play my four-drops. I most likely would have lost eventually, but I made the mistake of attacking while he had the bird untapped, so he can now steal my Devourer. I topdecked a series of answers but it was only a matter of time, as he could run my creatures into each other. He killed me with Icatian Javalineers throwing their Javalins at me, so the Icatians hold back the tide a little longer!

I sideboarded as if he’s plain ole white weenie: Elvish Archers, Fireball, and Glooms. Archers die to Javalineers, but they trade with everything in his deck, and they are cheap enough to play under a Tax, so I think they’re worth it. I didn’t see any Glooms, but Elvish Archers put in some work. I was in a spot midway through the game where I had to decide whether to get greedy and wait a turn to Fireball two of his creatures, or just Fireball the Preacher right away. I made the correct, non-greedy play, and smashed through in a few more turns with some big guys, a Devourer, and a bonus Saproling or two.

The first two were close, but game 3 was completely nuts, as I had literally the perfect opening against a Land Tax deck: He a plains but no Land Tax, while I played a Birds of Paradise, then a Havenwood Battleground and Elvish Archers. He finds his Land Tax and plays it without a land drop, but it’s too late. I sacrifice the Battleground and play a 4-mana monster (I don’t remember if it was a Djinn or a Derelor) and never play a second land so that the tax never fires. Two damage this turn, and six for the next three turns along with a Terror for his only blocker puts the match away.

Luke ended up 3-2 on the day, which was his first winning record in an Old School event, and he ended up with a nice cushion to start rebuilding the collection.

Round 2: Nathan with Blue-Green Berserk (Feature Match)

The first game is on video and will eventually get commentary. I killed a Serendib Efreet with Terror but he pecked away with Zephyr Falcon and eventually a couple Scryb Sprites. He did forget that Cockatrice has flying at one point so I got to trade my bird for a Sprite and a Giant Growth, and I slowly build up my board, but before I’m able to find more answers he takes 8 off of Sylvan Library to find a couple missing pieces of the puzzle and his deck does what it does best and makes mincemeat of me.

I sideboard in the Fireball. Game 2, Tracker showed up. A one-sided Abyss that I can attack with? Sign me up! And to think he was a last-minute flavor addition in place of one of the Djinn.

Game 3 was unremarkable — I simply drew large men and he drew small men.

Round 3: Sam G. (from North Carolina) with Mono-Green Midrange

I love mono green, and it was cool to meet it in the 2-0 bracket. Unfortunately, while he had some early Ice Storms and Strip Mines, I had Birds and Royal Assassin. The Royal starts clearing the board. He’s at least able to put up more of a fight when I throw the Assassin into the red zone and he Berserks it (killing it), but I had already murdered three creatures and it’s tough to come back from that when facing down an army of Saprolings.

We both sideboard in Elvish Archers. In my case, I put him on a little more mana denial than he ended up having and want to lower my curve. I leave in the Winter Orbs underestimating how many mana bugs he was playing, and I feel silly when I’m holding two of them and staring at his board filled with Llanowar Elves and Elves of Deep Shadow. But I’m patient while the Thallids do their thing, and Royal Assassin shows up again, this time with a Manipulator in tow. At one point I have four creatures who get counters each upkeep and he realizes how quickly things are getting out of hand. So he decides to punch through for as much damage as he can in one shot with Giant Growths and Berserk, but it’s not enough to kill me, and the Assassin works through the Elves and their Giant Spider pets. Tracker shows up near the end of the game, too, but I don’t even put it on the board, as I have approximately one million Saprolings to swing through for the win.

We play a third for fun and he gets the goods while I don’t, so I think the match is a little closer than these two games made it seem. He notes that Royal Assassin is, well, a pain in the assassin, so I introduce him to Tracker, which he didn’t know about, for all his mono-green murderous needs. The tracker in my deck was a gift (with a promise to pay it forward) so I regret not hooking him up with my extra copy before he left — I simply couldn’t remember where I had put it or if I remembered to pack it.

Round 4: Kiet (spelling?) with Mirror Ball

This was to be my first match loss, and the only match where I did not feel I had a reasonable shot of winning. Game 1 I didn’t know what he was playing, and was largely mystified by the lack of Counterspells and the inclusion of Relic Barrier and Howling Mine with no prison elements, but it was actually close — he drops Mirror Universe at 7 life, and I have 7 power on the board. He cast Demonic Tutor (very obviously for Balance) and had a Twiddle of all things to tap my Derelor and just barely prevented me from swinging for lethal — I couldn’t recover before he swapped life totals and found his Fireball, so it was lights out for the tribe.

I sideboard badly, as I put him on Sylvan Library only but not The Abyss (which was, indeed, only sideboarded), so I don’t bring in Tranquility. I play Energy Flux on turn 2 and take out his mox. He’s not sure what’s in my deck, so he is very careful about his Sylvan Library, floating Black Lotus and Mirror Universe as the top 2 cards of his deck to protect them in case I have discard spells. I do everything I can to keep him off mana. Unfortunately for me, he naturally drew the Balance to clear out my board and even takes out a couple lands as part of the deal (including a Factory, which I stupidly do not keep), and then Demonic Tutored for The Abyss after I play some durdley follow-ups. I figure my only way out is to keep him off 6 mana long enough to find Nevinyrall’s Disk, so I strip a land and Crumble his Sol Ring and put him back on 2 mana (unfortunately, me as well). He plays the Lotus, a land, and the Mirror Universe while my board is empty. I draw my card for the turn and simply scoop rather than prolong the inevitable. He played extremely well, and I sideboarded incorrectly, but his deck’s game plan is so much more powerful than mine that, barring some exceptionally lopsided luck, things will not go my way, so I have no complaints.

He ends up in a very well-deserved second place.

Round 5: ? with Mono-Red Atog

We trade cards throughout game 1, with Derelor and Devourers getting burned out, and eventually we’re left in the following position: I am at 6 life and have two Erhnam Djinn, a Thorn Thallid on two counters, and an Icy Manipulator. I’ve given his Atog Forestwalk several turns in a row, and I attack with both Djinn and eat a factory, leaving him at two life with with an untapped Mana Vault, a Strip Mine, two Mountains, Atog, Copper Tablet, and Su-Chi. So I win, right? Because the right play, which I planned after going in the tank before my attack, is to simply tap his Atog with the Manipulator the same way I’ve done every other turn, block the Su-Chi if he attacks, and count on him not having a Fireball since he’s already played two of them. He takes a point from his copper tablet and drops to 1, so he’s dead to the Djinn at a minimum if he attacks, dead to the Thorn Thallid if he doesn’t.

Instead, I do the stupidest possible thing: I get clever. I tap his Mana Vault. He eats it with the Atog. After the match, I asked if he was holding the Fireball — he wasn’t, it was Fork, but he didn’t have a burn spell to go with it, as he’d already used several. We never found out what was on the top of his deck, as in response to him sacrificing his Mana Vault, I scooped up my cards, quite upset with myself for going off plan and giving away the game.

I’m now distracted by my horrendous misplay and not thinking clearly, so game 2 I keep a six-card one-lander — with a swamp, not a forest — since I have two birds and an Elves of Deep Shadow and figure things will get better from there. I scry to the bottom, realize that I’m on the play, not the draw, and don’t draw a land for the next five turns. It was a disappointing way to end things, as I felt this was a reasonable matchup both before and after sideboarding and would have preferred, win or lose, to put up an actual fight. We chat a bit about his deck, which despite its record he wasn’t quite satisfied with. He was playing some really cool cards in his 75, like Aladdin and Aeolipile.

We played a third for fun, where I run him over. C’est la vie.

When the round wrapped up, the flavor judge panel convened so we could sort out the final results and vote on most creative deck. I was on the panel (as the representative from Baltimore) along with Paul Desivla representing new England, ?? representing North Carolina, Luke (since it’s his party, so to speak), and Jimmy and ?? representing DC. I voted for Wall Tribal as most creative, but the panel vote was for my deck.

I got a wonderful laser-etched coaster (made by with the art from Zelyon Sword, one of those weird little Fallen Empires cards I like and actually play in a deck.

For my prizes I picked a Preacher, an Unlimited White Knight, and an unpunched set of life, poison, and mana counters printed between Fallen Empires and Ice Age.

It was tough taking the Preacher over the Icy Manipulator, but in the spirit of things I went with the card that I don’t already have a playset of rather than the most valuable card. Manipulator was in the deck I played and Preacher is much easier to come by, but I am already scheming: perhaps his tribe should make an appearance next time for Sarpadia Rises …

After we cleaned up the store, some of us headed over to The Limerick Pub, where I had a beyond meat burger, which is not something I can find in Baltimore very easily. I also finally got to play against Tim’s artifact creature deck and I can confirm that the thing was a monster.

Props and Slops:

wooliewookie on the Old School Discord for the Tracker

Adam and Nathan for the Devourers. Yum!

Jimmy, for throwing the party and keeping it together all day.

Slops:

Me, for not just bringing my laptop to stream the matches, and for not writing down my opponents’ names. I’ll do better next time!