Pedro Santos was miserable. Nothing made sense.

There was no premonition in the four months before his father died that there would be a quick turn for the worse. He had to go back to Portugal to do what he feared — say goodbye.

But in the three months since his father died, the midfielder has launched himself into the good graces of Crew fans and likely into the team’s plans for next year with a career season.

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Santos has eight goals since his return from Portugal and 10 for the season. He has been the Crew’s most valuable player and has blossomed in the central attacking midfielder role where he has free range to create scoring opportunities for himself and other attacking players.

But in another reality, this version of Santos never would have been seen had he just packed up everything and moved back to Portugal. Ultimately, he followed his father’s advice to take care of his family. It was better, Santos decided, to dedicate the rest of the season to his father.

“He told me to stay here, to think of my family because this is my dream and it was the dream to my father (for me to play) professional soccer,” Santos said. “I'm here because I need to think about the future and the future of my sons. It's hard, always hard, but things need to keep going."

Santos missed a game May 18 at Minnesota United while he was spending time with family in Portugal. He was close to his father, so the loss had a profound effect on him.

For a month after his dad died, Santos wasn’t happy. He kept thinking about his mother, who did everything with her husband, and how his sister lived in France and how his brother worked all the time so they couldn’t help her out. He never seriously considered quitting, but because the situation was so upsetting, there was a piece of him that thought returning to Portugal might be easier for everyone.

Santos consulted family, friends, and his wife, Ana, who gave him the strength to stay and turn his focus back to soccer and their two sons, 5-year-old Martín and 1-year-old Vicente.

"They are the biggest support that I have because when I play bad or when I play good, I come home and I have my kids smiling for me,” Santos said. “This is the best thing that I have in my life. I'm pretty sure if I don't have kids, probably, I wasn't here anymore.”

Even if Santos was distracted by his private life, his play didn’t suffer. He scored a goal in his first two games back. His first game back, Federico Higuain suffered a torn ACL that cost him the rest of the season. Coach Caleb Porter moved Santos over in the central midfield.

Santos has brought stability after the Crew lost its de facto quarterback of the offense. Having wingers like David Accam and Luis Diaz that can run behind a defense has helped Santos as well. Santos believes he and Higuain complement each other well, but both play similar styles and Santos has been able to step into the spotlight in an important season.

“Playing in the central of the field is better because I can choose the space,” Santos said. “If I stay on the right side or the left, it's more hard because you don't have too much to choose.”

The potential was always there with Santos, but it’s now showing up on the scoresheet. The one goal and nine assists in 39 games before this season raised questions of whether Santos could play at a level worthy of his designated-player status.

"He was bothered about it,” said Artur, one of Santos’ good friends with the Crew. “But also he just kept working and to try to finish the chances he had and to play better."

Santos felt like he didn’t have to prove anything because his play would eventually speak for itself. Perhaps he has played himself into another year with the team — the Crew has an option to pick up Santos’ contract at the end of the season.

“He's going to be a really important core piece for us moving forward,” Porter said.

It’s up to them, Santos said, if the Crew front office wants to keep him. He allowed himself for just a moment to think about returning home — how could he not?

But it wasn’t just his father’s dream for his son to make the most of his professional career. It’s a responsibility Santos feels to make a career for himself and his sons. He wants to be here.

“We can see the things (with the club) are growing up and going better,” Santos said. “I want to stay here and see the things happen."

jmyers@dispatch.com

@Jacob_Myers_25