The taboo and fear associated with anal sex for many will be enough for many never to try it. That is unfortunate as when done correctly it can be both a rewarding and enjoyable new sexual experience both for you and your partner. Look, don’t get me wrong it is not for everyone and that is fine but as my father used to say, ‘You should try everything once. If you don’t like it, at least you tried it’. This adage I have lived by most of my life and for the most part it has been met with positive experiences. So when my boyfriend from a long-standing relationship asked if I was willing to try anal sex I was more than willing to give it a go.

The first thing I did was firstly research it and once I was familiar with the ins and outs, pardon the pun, the second was discuss it with him to ensure that he knew the ground rules and I knew what he desired. This discussion was open and frank and we covered areas like:

There Will Be Heaps Of Foreplay

The very first time you are contemplating attempting anal sex ensure that the vibe is right. Have some sensual music playing and candles burning. Bring out your favorite sex toy and incorporate it with your foreplay. Have passion with lots of cuddling and kissing. You may wish to have vaginal intercourse first and orgasm that way to ensure that you are totally relaxed and ready.

Use Plenty Of Lubricant

There can never be enough lubrication when partaking in anal play as the anus does not self-lubricate like the vagina and the anus absorbs water. So for easy insertion and to keep things flowing nicely always ensure that you have plenty of lube about. Personally, I like a water-based lubricant as I incorporate silicone sex toys in our love making and silicone lubricant seems to destroy the material after a while. I have never or will ever use desensitizing lubricant for two reasons. Firstly, I want to experience all the erotic stimulations. Secondly, I fear that if something was to go wrong that it would dull my senses enough that I would continue on and possibly hurt myself. No it is the real deal for me.

Try It Solo First With Sex Toys

It will be far better if you have experimented first with some anal penetration by yourself. This way you will know what to expect and will not seize up when the real live action is happening. Next time you are masturbating leave your clit stimulator and have a bit of an exploration around your bum. Lube up and insert a finger or two slowly and gently. Explore your sphincter and learn the way it clamps down and releases. Get a soft silicone anal vibrator and gently insert it. I was surprised that I had a blended orgasm the first time and can I say it is something I had never experienced before, but dearly look forward to now.

Play On The Anus

I spoke with my partner after experimenting with anal lubricants and sex toys and asked if when we were having regular sex if he would gently rim my bum with his finger and gently insert it so he too could get to know what I liked and what I did not. Before I made sure that his fingers were clean and to do this I gave him a manicure that in itself was an erotic experience. We did this for a few weeks and he got really good at it and had me having anal orgasms by doing this.

One of the best anal sex toy product ranges for women is designed by Alicia Sinclair who created b-Vibe. You really can’t go past her products without checking them out especially if you are a beginner. Each product is designed with a different experience level in mind and a wide range of pleasurable features.

You Will Be In Control

It was made very clear that the first time we were going to try anal sex I was to be in total control. We would be in the spoon position with him to my rear and I would guide him into me at my own pace. He would hold and not push in or thrust until I let him know to do so. If at any stage I was uncomfortable or in paid we would stop. We could try it again but if it was going to hurt the first time it would be a no go zone from then on. He was more than fine with that, especially since I would try it again as long as he stopped if I required him to.

Pick The Date

After a few weeks of anal foreplay we picked the date. This was going to be something special so we booked to see Sting at a show in the Hunter Valley with accommodation. When we arrived there were flowers waiting for me in reception and the room was beautiful with a spa and all. We watched the concert which was terrific at the Hope Estate and between us polished off a bottle of wine together. We then got back to the room, he ran the spa and put in my favorite bath bomb – there was a bottle of Champagne on chill from which he poured me a drink from a Crystal flute. He put the TV onto a smooth music channel. It was perfect, the night was perfect and he was perfect.

After relaxing in the bath for more than 20 minutes and chatting to each other with deep and meaningful, I understood why I loved this man and how connected we were. We go out of the spa, he towel dried me and took me to the bed. He lay me down and delivered soft kisses from my neck to my toes. He then turned me around and did the same thing from my heels to my shoulders lingering along the way at my butt cheeks that he licked. The sensations were amazing and the tingling sensation went to my core.

We then had some fun with the pleasure toys we had brought and after ten minutes or so had vaginal sex. I orgasmed almost immediately after he entered me – he had me so worked up sexually but so relaxed body wise. He played with my rosebud whilst I brought myself down the ecstatic heights that were reached. I indicated to him that it was time and after liberally apply lube to him we assumed the spoon position – he was rock hard – I grabbed hold of his cock. Slowly I brought it to my anus and in slow circling motions rimmed myself with it. As agreed he did not push as I pushed back onto his cock – it was larger than the anal vibrators I had used and did not go in as easy. I continued to push and it was like a little pop went off and his head entered me.

When his head entered me there was a slight bit of discomfort. Nothing that I would say was painful, but different to my sex toy play and his finger play. I waited for a few seconds and this discomfort went away and again began to push against him until half of him was inside me. Then gently I began to push him in and out of me and each time slowly, millimeter by millimeter I let him deeper inside of me. Finally, the whole of him was deep inside me and I had a satisfying ‘filled up’ feeling as the slow strokes increased in vigor to deep thrusting. I could hear him grunting and moaning behind me and soon he was blowing inside me.

I did not orgasm anally that first time but it did not hurt, was very pleasurable and he was over the moon both intimately and relationship wise. It is we treasure for special occasions and we had a few more of these erotic sessions before I anally orgasmed. Again, anal sex is not for everyone, but if you do it right the first time, soon enough you will experience pleasure in a whole new way.

Jennifer works marketing at Adultsmart an online sex toy shop. She has a non-judgemental approach to sex, sex toys and sexuality. Her favorite saying is if it feels good and right and is not illegal then why not! adultsmart.com.au

Share this: Reddit

Twitter

Print

Pinterest

Facebook

Tumblr

LinkedIn



Like this: Like Loading...