Oh where oh where can my cold powers be… a foe took ‘em away from me… Well, not me, Caitlin. But the Pearl Jam song in my noggin only works in the first person. Here’s the 411 – a meta named Melting Point stole the Killer Frost right out of Caitlin and I’m gonna find it if it kills me. The rub is that Melting Point doesn’t keep the powers he hijacks. He sends them to other unsuspecting people. What kind of freaking power is that? Imagine walking down the street eating a biscuit and suddenly you’re a meta-human! If only DeVoe hadn’t gotten to Melting Point I could ask him more about how to track down Caitlin’s powers. Looks like it’s all on me.

I fired up the old cold signature tracker and project ice-capade was in full effect. My first stop was a nail salon that was putting out mad sub-zero readings. I got duped into a mani, a pedi and something called crystal gel. Then the aesthetician (Iris and Caitlin say that’s what you call them) blasted my digits with liquid nitrogen to make the treatment “last longer.” A - I don’t want the treatment to last longer, B - There’s no way anything capable of absolute zero should be available to civilians, and C… I found the mani/pedi part of the experience rather enjoyable and I may or may not have purchased a membership.

After leaving the salon, I was $40 lighter and no closer to finding Caitlin’s frost. But I persisted. The next stop was Bubba’s garage. I purposely didn’t capitalize that, because Bubba is not a mechanic and his garage is not a business. I literally went to some dude named Bubba’s house and found him working in his garage. The nuts and bolts of that interaction was that Bubba’s an ice-pick connoisseur not a meta-human, and I am now an expert at Cisco-toned black-eye concealer. Suffice to say Bubba wasn’t much of a conversationalist.

Four refrigerator chop-shops – who knew that was a thing – and a snow-cone maker later, I gave up. And now here I sit in front of my computer. The upside is that Pearl Jam has left my brain. The downside is that it’s been replaced by Vanessa Williams – Sometimes the very thing you’re looking for… is the one thing you can’t see… I have to type the words, because Caitlin is staring at me and if I sing that verse one more time she will very likely shoot me with an elephant tranquilizer.