Happiness is a concept we spend our whole lives chasing. It’s a concept that philosophers, scholars, and regular people have debated the meaning of for all time. Happiness is something so abstract, almost all of us don’t even know what it means. A few significant figures throughout history have claimed to have found true happiness. They said that they had found the way. But happiness is different for each and every person on this earth.

What defines happiness for me will not be what defines happiness for you. What defines happiness for you will not be what defines happiness for your friends. A journey for happiness is something each of us must undertake on our own. Each us of must spend a lifetime trying to understand it, trying to find it, trying to attain it, and trying to hold onto it.

But at the same time, believing that we can ever understand it, or find it, or hold onto it is futile. True happiness is so abstract and so fleeting that we cannot hope to have it forever. Happiness comes and goes like the ebbing and flowing of an ocean.

You will experience times of your life with great happiness, inexplicable joy. And just the next day you could experience the most depressive, soul sucking low.

C’est la vie.

Or is it?

What if we could find true happiness? What if everything we think we know about it and how to attain it turns out to be invalid?

The Lie We’ve Been Taught

In modern western society, we are materialistic. While there is nothing inherently wrong with materialism in and of itself, it can actually begin to take away from our lives rather than add to it. That seems contradictory, how can buying and collecting more stuff take away from us? Wouldn’t it only add to us?

See, that’s the lie we’ve been taught. Look around at any advertisement for any product out there. At the very core of each and every commercial, billboard, youtube ad, or anything else is a single central goal. The company is selling you happiness. They are telling you that buying their product or using their service will make you happy. You are being convinced that you NEED their product in order to be happy. They know that it is something everyone needs and something everyone desperately pursues.

This message is everywhere. It’s unavoidable. We are exposed to it each day, constantly. And with that constant exposure, over a long enough period of time, we begin to believe it. We don’t know any other truth. Buying things does bring happiness. Buying nice things is the way to it. Having a lot of money is the way to it. It’s a universal truth. It’s undeniable. Everyone knows it is true.

Or is it? *cue ominous music*

A New Mindset for the New World

It’s time we change the way we look at happiness. I am not the first to suggest this by any means whatsoever. People throughout history have suggested ways to find happiness. I want to discuss a path to happiness that follows the same path laid out by historical figures such as Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Buddha, and many more.

Take a step back from the world. Take a step back from yourself. Look at what is around you. Become mindful of the world you exist in. In a way, it’s beautiful. Even things that are not inherently beautiful have a certain quality to them that is interesting. Everything around you has come together in just the way it is, through the forces of a universe so much larger and more powerful than you. You are here. And that in and of itself is something incredible.

Take a look at what you are told about being happy. You must buy this and purchase that. You need this much money and this many friends, or else you will be doomed to a life of misery. Why? Does obtaining an arbitrary amount of items suddenly flick a switch and make you happy?

My opinion: No.

Happiness Is Within

In my experience, happiness comes from within yourself. It begins with true, honest self-love. That sounds like a simple task, but in reality it is something exceedingly difficult to achieve. It means we have to embrace our qualities as well as our flaws, and many of us are scared to admit our flaws. But we are all human, and we are all out here trying to live a fulfilling, joyous life.

Step away from the rat race, and the never ending hamster wheel of accruing material wealth in order to feel happiness and fulfillment. Take time first to love yourself. If you come to accept yourself for who you are, that would be the first step towards a life of happiness. All of the material items in the world would not mean anything if you didn’t love yourself. You would be surrounded by nice things, and at the end of the day, you’d still hate yourself.

True happiness is inside you. It comes from real, genuine love of yourself. Not in a narcissistic way, but in an accepting way.

It’s difficult for me to conceptualize an abstract concept like self-love and happiness, and I hope I’m not losing you, but the general point I want to convey is that happiness is not dependent on external factors.

Love yourself, love life, be happy

You don’t have to become an all out hippy. You don’t have to renounce your former lifestyle and go to a Buddhist monastery in the Himalayas. All you need is a foundation of love for yourself. That is where true happiness lies. That is why it lies within you. External factors like money, cars, houses, and relationships will mean nothing without first achieving an internal peace.

So learn to love yourself. Learn to look inward at the beauty that is the human being that you are. You are not perfect, and that is okay. Love the flaws, love the highs, love the lows. You’re going to make it, wherever you are, whatever you’re doing. You are enough. And when the day comes that you can honestly and truly accept yourself for who you are, with no shame or guilt or hatred, then that is the day that you will feel true happiness.