So, you have discovered through the website http://www.evemeet.net that there is an EVE Online meetup in your area. You decide that it is time to go hang out with nerds that love EVE as much (maybe more?) than you do. First, you’re excited and cannot wait for the date to arrive, but then you start to think about all the things that could possibly go wrong. What if I say something dumb, or what if I’m the only one in my alliance there? What if I don’t belong to any corp or alliance? Will i be made to join a corp or alliance to continue to keep attending the meetup? All these questions and many more may fill your mind.



Have no fear! EVE Onion is here to help you navigate your first EVE player meetup.

Here are the top five ways to have an enjoyable EVE meetup:



First impressions are important. Approach everyone with a meek smile and a long firm handshake. How long and how firm? That is up to you. We recommend a bone crushing grasp, and never be the first person to try and stop the handshake. Never let anyone buy you a drink. The moment they buy you anything you will owe them something, and chances are they are running a scam like you see in Jita. Nothing is ever free or heavily discounted without a catch. There will be swag. Embrace the swag. Collect all the swag you can. Swag is life. Swag can be traded for other swag and can help you blend into the crowd. You will at some point be approached by an EVE player who wants to know which side of the “Casino War” you fought on. This is a trap. Correct them immediately by saying you mean “World War Bee”, “The Dirty Isk War”, “The Mercenary War”, or “The War of Sovless Aggression” to show you are in touch with the meta of EVE Online and gain their respect no matter which side of the war you did or did not fight on. Always remember the meta of EVE Online goes where the players go. These people are not your friends. No amount of good times you have at this meetup will stop them from shooting you in game, stop them from stealing you blind in game, or stop them from making you the laughing stock of Reddit for a day or two. However, go ahead and let loose. Drink, be merry, and for Bob’s sake don’t forget to tell them that you get all your news from EVE Onion, EVE Online’s premier source of EVE breaking news.

We hope these tips will aid you in your first exciting experience known as an EVE Online Player Meetup. No matter where you are in the world, these tips will make you the classiest player there.



Extra Tip: Name drop! Name Drop! Name Drop! You flew in a fleet with Gobbins once? In the same Discord channel as Matterall? Or you know someone who knows TheMittani? You let everyone you meet know.

Extra Extra Tip: If you come across a “space important” player, always grab for their arm and force them into a handshake. Except if it’s TheJudge. He is very sensitive about his hands. You will need to buy him many beers first.