Asperger's leaves kids vulnerable to bullying

Twins Teagen, left, and Tyler Comeau, 13, walk through the halls at Bassick High School in Bridgeport on Wednesday, September 14, 2011. The brothers, clinically diagnosed with autism but functioning at the level of Asperger's, have long been the targets of bullying. less Twins Teagen, left, and Tyler Comeau, 13, walk through the halls at Bassick High School in Bridgeport on Wednesday, September 14, 2011. The brothers, clinically diagnosed with autism but functioning at the ... more Photo: Brian A. Pounds Photo: Brian A. Pounds Image 1 of / 8 Caption Close Asperger's leaves kids vulnerable to bullying 1 / 8 Back to Gallery

"What year did `Taxi Driver' come out?" Dan Comeau asks his son, Teagen.

Teagen, 13, has never seen it.

He pauses for a minute, but then says, "1979."

Teagen has memorized an encyclopedia's worth of trivia about films. It's one of the classic characteristics of Asperger's syndrome, a developmental disorder on the autism spectrum. He and his twin brother, Tyler, of Bridgeport, who entered Bassick High School this August, develop almost obsessive interests in different subjects. But along with their proclivity for learning comes difficulties with social relationships and handling anxiety.

This has made them targets for bullies.

The twins have been harassed on the school bus and picked on and teased for their anxious behaviors throughout their lives. But unlike other students who can more easily verbalize their experience and seek help, the twins -- and others with Asperger's syndrome -- have difficulty communicating the scope of their troubles to adults and family members, making it even more difficult for them to resolve problems with bullies.

Children with Asperger's tend to be bullied once or twice a week, according to a fact sheet by Nelle Frances, an author who writes children's books about the syndrome.

"Very often (students with Asperger's) find they're a little bit isolated from other students," said Dania Jekel, executive director of the Asperger's Association of New England. "They have trouble reading people's facial expressions. They're a little more vulnerable because developmentally, they're a little younger and more naïve."

It's taken years for the twins to discuss the details of being bullied, but one recent day they opened up.

Tyler does most of the talking for the twins, and Teagen interjects every now and then with his own aside. While Tyler sits on a love seat rattling off facts about the spectrum of autism disorders, Teagen fidgets in his seat and frequently gets up and paces up and down the hallway and back, which could mean he's "stimming," which is a repetitive motion people with Asperger's sometimes reflexively do when they are anxious or deep in thought.

Tyler says he gets anxious when people are yelling at him -- his definition of yelling being different than others his age. Teagen, meanwhile, gets anxious when he hears swearing or hears someone describing something disturbing, and he'll respond with like a low squeak. These are the kinds of behaviors other kids find amusing or odd, and they purposefully try to trigger him, said his dad.

The twins have had multiple bullies over the years, Tyler said. The boys, who grew up in Mansfield, said their first bully was another boy who rode their bus when they were in the fourth grade.

"He used to pick on a lot of kids, but he really liked to pick on us because we didn't react," Tyler said.

Tyler and Teagen are slow to make decisions, so they would sometimes linger in the aisle, deciding where to sit. The bully would come down the aisle and slam the twins into the side of the bus.

"He made Teagen anxious," Tyler said. "Teagen would start making noises and he would pick on him."

Once Tyler tried to make the bully stop teasing his brother, and the bully took Tyler's fingers and bent them backwards. Another time, Tyler leaned down to get his backpack and the bully kicked him in the face. Their parents have always told them to tell an adult if someone was being mean to them, but this is difficult for them because of their Asperger's. The day the bully kicked Tyler in the face, he went to the only adult on the bus, the bus driver, but was unable to form words. The bus driver told him she was going to write him up for crying.

Conveying the seriousness of the bullying incidents to their parents was also difficult. Tyler and Teagen don't always pick up on inflections and answer questions literally.

At home, their father would ask the twins how their day was. They would answer that someone was being mean to them. "To us, someone being mean was just a minor infraction," Dan said. "...It took us a while to figure out what was going on. We learned we had to be specific with our questions. We had to specifically ask, `Did anyone hurt you today?' "

GROWING UP DIFFERENT

The twins have known almost their entire lives that they are different. At 2-years-old, they completely stopped talking, and six months later they were diagnosed with classic autism.

Teaching children early about their autism can help them fight back against bullies, experts say.

"It's extremely important when people are struggling with things like social communication, anxiety, depression, misunderstanding peoples intentions, that they are understanding what's really going on," Jekel said. "Then they stop blaming themselves and others. They see their life through slightly different lens, and they can really be proud."

Jekel said administrators have found when students tell their peers as early as kindergarten about their condition, they are more likely to be accepted and less likely to be bullied.

Tyler says he'll probably tell his close friends about his Asperger's, but he generally does not like to let everyone know, since they start asking him all sorts of questions.

But not all children are diagnosed early on and that can make things even harder for them when they are targeted by bullies.

Ellsworth Evarts IV, of North Branford, wasn't diagnosed with Asperger's until May, when he was 15. Before his diagnosis, his parents were flummoxed when in December 2010, his grades suddenly dropped and one teacher described him as a shell of his former self.

Like the Comeau twins, he was being bullied at school. Ellsworth, nicknamed Ells, is a tall, husky teen who looks like he should be on the high school football team. Also like the twins, he didn't tell his father the full details. Ellsworth III -- who didn't yet know his son had a disorder -- demanded he defend himself. Ellsworth III, nicknamed E.T., said he was confused as to why Ells couldn't just throw a punch back.

Ells, as a result, became even more withdrawn. Ells said the bully had threatened to stab and shoot Ells' father if he tried to get help. Because students with Asperger's tend to take information literally, Ells stayed silent, convinced the bully would harm his dad.

Ells was first bullied in a youth group by several boys when he was 11 years old. One boy, the ringleader, would get all of the others to make fun of Ells for the way he walked and talked.

"They knew there was something different about me," Ells said. "I didn't have a quick mouth. They knew they could put me down and I couldn't react."

"They would call him a retard," Ells' mother, Lisa, said. "Actually, he is highly intelligent."

Ells didn't have to confront the bully again until his freshman year in 2010 at a New Haven high school, when he was on the same bus. Ells assumed the bully had matured since they were kids. But six weeks into the school year, Ells said the bully started demanding Ells not talk to anyone else on the bus and harassed him every time he tried.

When Ells would take out his phone to listen to music, the bully would knock it out of his hands. The bully demanded Ells sit perfectly still. He barely allowed Ells to breathe. He threatened to hit Ells with electrical cables. He told Ells he carried a knife. In a vocational class, the bully once took a power tool and drilled it close to his head.

In December, Ells said the bully came and sat in the seat next to Ells on the bus and smashed him on his leg.

"It stung like hell," Ells said. "I said, `Stop. Stop hitting me.' I kicked him, but it was reflexive."

The bully kept slapping him and Ells kept kicking back, Ells said in a statement filed later with the New Haven police department. Ells said he was left with red welts on his legs. He called his father and explained to him what was happening. Ells came home red and flustered and he soiled himself, Lisa said.

"He looked shell shocked, like he had been on the front lines with bombs," Lisa said.

The following day, the principal called both boys into the office together, and Ells found he couldn't fully explain what had happened.

"We hear this every day," said Barbara Cooper, a co-director of Super Kids, a Ridgefield based after-school program for children on the Autism spectrum. "It's awful. It's a language disability. It's better if they're asked to draw something describing what happened."

E.T. said because Ells admitted that at one point he had wrapped a cord around his own neck to show his distress, the school informed his parents they would impose penalties of equal proportions for both boys. E.T. said school officials said Ells wrapping a cord around his own neck constituted an implied threat to the other boy.

New Haven police department youth officer Ricardo Rodriguez said the department had no comment on the incident, which Ells and his father later reported to the police.

Both boys were given a three-day in-school suspension in the same room. The room was supervised by a monitor who sometimes had to exit the room to also supervise the hallways. Ells said the boy continued to bully him, muttering under his breath that he would retaliate.

Christopher Hoffman, spokesman for New Haven Public Schools, said while the district couldn't comment more specifically about this case because of federal student confidentiality laws, the district followed the extensive protocols it has in place for handling bullying charges and aggressively investigated and addressed the bullying allegations as soon as they arose.

"The school and the district have devoted significant time, effort and resources to this case, working with the families and seeking to assure that the student is safe and protected," Hoffman said. "We have been responsive and flexible throughout."

Months later, Ells was charged with disorderly conduct in connection with the bus incident. He is scheduled to appear in New Haven juvenile court on Sept. 22.

After that 2010 bus incident, Ells shut down.

He was afraid to walk the hallways between class. He was afraid to eat lunch in the cafeteria. He was afraid to go to the bathroom. He was unable to do his schoolwork. His mother stayed up till 3 a.m. trying to help him with algebra. His father would scream at him to get his schoolwork done. E.T. took away his phone, thinking it was a distraction, though Ells said it comforted him.

"I felt like a frozen computer," Ells said. "I was running and running, but after a computer is eaten, it can't do anything. Some connection got burnt."

In May, Ells went to the Yale Child Study Center, where he was diagnosed with Asperger's.

"It explained everything," E.T. said. "We ended up salvaging the school year."

Ells' teachers allowed special provisions for his learning, but Ells is still afraid and traumatized.

"We lost our kid," Lisa said. "He's recessed into a virtual world. He prefers his gaming community to real life."

He's been very anxious about the start of this new school year. While Ells' cousins were buying new shoes and comparing teachers before school started, Ells obsessed about how he could protect himself and what he would do when he saw his bully again. Lisa said he often has revenge fantasies.

The first day of school went by smoothly. But at the end of the second day, as Ells boarded the bus, his bully ran to the back and glared at him, Ells said. Last school year, the Board of Education drew up a plan to separate the students on the bus.

People with Asperger's like to adhere to rules. If one is changed for no apparent reason, it can be a cause for stress. Ells had a meltdown. He refused to get on the bus. Ells said he was not getting on until the bully moved to the front. The principal told the bus driver to leave. Ells was left in the parking lot and the school doors were locked. Suddenly it was hard for him to breathe and he was sweating profusely. Neither of his parents could get to him right away, so his father called the police. E.T. told Ells to file a report with the police, and contacted the state Department of Children and Families. He tried to get Ells a lawyer, but because the fees would be too expensive, is using a victim's advocate from the juvenile court instead.

"At any one time, we have a couple of families going through this with a lawyer," said Cooper, the director of the Ridgefield after-school program for students with autism. "The parents want to work with the school and they want it to be pleasant, but sometimes they are left with no other choice."

EMPOWERING VICTIMS

Both Ells and the twins are searching for ways to stop bullying.

The twins have become advocates for other students on the autism spectrum. They give lectures to educators and paraprofessionals at professional development sessions and to college students going into special education. They even sat down and talked to their former bus driver. They chose to go to high school after moving from Mansfield and being home-schooled for a few months.

Ells designed a T-shirt that says: "Stop bullying now. Stand up, Speak out!" on the front, and "Real zero tolerance is no concealment or silence" on the back. The period on the red exclamation point drips red dots down the shirt.

"The bleeding doesn't stop," Ells said, "even after the bullying ends."