You may think you love wine, but you’ll never love wine as much as Johnny Depp loves wine.

Jack Sparrow — I mean, Depp — reportedly spends $30,000 dollars on wine every month. That juice bomb comes from The Hollywood Reporter, which obtained a lawsuit Depp filed against his former business management group, helpfully called The Management Group. Clearly Depp wasn’t listening to the money men, and The Management Group responded to Depp’s allegations with a listing of his $2 million-a-month life of excess.

Here are some of the incredible charges that someone spending $30,000 a month on wine is prone to making: $75 million on 14 houses, $18 million on a yacht, and $3 million to shoot Hunter S. Thompson’s ashes over Aspen, Colorado.

The wine bill almost seems reasonable in comparison. Still, it’s an almost unimaginable amount of wine. No one’s saying Depp is drinking Two Buck Chuck (no one’s saying he’s not either), but $30,000 is around 15,000 bottles — some 75,000 glasses and nearly 3,000 gallons — of Two Buck Chuck every 30 to 31 days.

So that’s what Depp turned to after learning all the rum was gone. On a darker note, the circumstance around his divorce with Amber Heard is becoming a little clearer. Now is the time to learn from his mistakes. Yes, that means put down that 14,998th bottle.