CINCINNATI—Fearlessly embarking on a journey to areas as far as the outer mezzanine, local Cincinnati Reds fan Tony Amico, 38, reportedly departed from his section at Great American Ball Park Friday and trekked all the way to the other side of the stadium in search of better food options. “I’m pretty hungry, but all they have around here are hot dogs and nachos, and I don’t really feel like either of those,” Amico told reporters as he began his long and arduous odyssey past 23 different seating sections in the concourse, holding out hope of coming across pizza or perhaps even some barbecue. “I saw a guy walk past with some tacos, but I have no idea where he got them from. I could have sworn I saw a place with pulled pork sliders while we were walking up to our seats, too—I could definitely go for that.” At press time, Amico had finally reached the promised land after discovering a concession stand selling chicken tenders, but ultimately opted to return to his seat empty-handed after learning that they cost $12.

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