Important: everything will be sold as a lot; it's already very meticulously packed so I'm not splitting it. Box dimensions (in inches) and weights are as follows: 21x19x14 10 lbs; 19x16x17 14 lbs; 26x21x16 25 lbs. eBay does not let me specify there are three boxes. They will be shipped together. I will ship only within the USA and it will ship by UPS. I am adding $10 to the actual shipping price since I was very careful in packing everything (each figure/accessory set is in its own zip-lock bag).

Following are pictures and descriptions of the items. You can click on the pictures for a larger version. Please look carefully at the pictures to evaluate the conditions of the items. When I can tell, I list what's missing or damaged according to the information available at YoJoe.com. Everything is used, obviously, as I played with them as a kid. Figures with "intestinal problems" (rotted o-ring) can easily be fixed with a pack of o-rings like those available here.

Important: WYSIWYG (What You See Is What You Get). That means look at the pictures. They are high-resolution. I try to describe any damage/condition/notes as I remember them but the pictures should speak for themselves. If you doubt anything, ask a question. Bid on this based on the pictures.

Use your browser's search feature (CTRL+F) to see if what you want is on the list!

Why is this page so ugly? I'm selling toys from the 80's. They didn't have CSS back then. You're lucky to get even a <strong> in here. For that extra retro feel:

Blam.

There are 18 vehicles, 76 unique figures (some with copies) not counting 2 in bad shape, and miscellaneous accessories. 9 vehicles are complete. 34 figures are complete. 58 have cards; 4 have file cards. There are 8 broken crotches (1 is repairable)

The links here will take you to the item details. Once there, click the link on the name to see the YoJoe listing.

APC - Amphibious Personnel Carrier Bid now! Not sure why YoJoe says it carries 23 soldiers. Two up front; 16 on their asses, and 10 poor saps with their feet stuck to the floor makes 28. Sucks if you have to pee as 8 guys share a seatbelt. Anyway, this particular specimen is from Brazil, thus the incomprehensible jibbersih on the stickers (it translates to "Commandos in Action"). It's in great shape. One of the tabs on the canopy is broken and the turret has some stress bends but it will stay in its hole no problem. The handle/bumper at the back is intact and easily goes in and out. Steering wheel is missing. And this thing floats in the bathtub, folks. Brazilian GI-Joes were the same quality as American ones (same plastic, paint, and tooling); there are only slight differences and mainly it's in the figures themselves (like the slightly later arrival of the "nodding head") and, of course, decals. They are definitely not knock-offs; see markings under the truck. They were manufactured by Estrela in Brazil under license from Hasbro (along with many other toys and games from Hasbro, Milton Bradley, and others).

Headquarters Command Center Bid now! I got this at a garage sale. There's parts missing and some damage to assembly tabs here and there---particularly in the jail cell (prison overcrowding, you know). I had to pack it once the EPA found they were illegally dumping motor oil into the adjacent creek after each servicing of a vehicle.

Skystriker Bid now! This one is also from Brazil, and it comes with the original box. The tabs on the vertical stabilizers are to the point where they easily fall off. The landing gear still works and is in great shape. The wing sweep changes as intended, also. The fuel tank has come unglued but is undamaged. Both engines are there, though they don't pass smog anymore. Only things missing are the pilot and the parachutes. In all seriousness, what a bad-ass toy. They don't make them like this anymore.

Airborne (V1) Bid now! Airborne and his things are all there, except for his helmet. His scorn of disgust made Cobra feel guilty they were the bad guys. But against a redneck in a bar, this guy had no chance. He likes to waft his mustard before putting it on a sandwich, which certainly didn't make him many friends at HQ.

Mortar Defense Unit (parts) Bid now! After Jimmy was fired from inventory for inappropriate use of a tagging gun, some "behind the scenes" looting took hold over the depot. All that's left of this kit is one sandbag, a gas can, a barrell, and a pile of illegible IOU's.

Accessory Pack #3 - WITH CARD Bid now! After several sneak attacks from Cobra, GI Joe decided to rethink its cammo strategy. In this historically significant set we see the origins of the IISOTCPTIM (If It's So Obvious They Can't Possibly Think It's Military) coloring scheme. The "Heavy Machine Gunner Backpack and Ammo Box", the "Walkie-Talkie", and "Pistol" are missing as they are on-tour at museums around the world.

Blowtorch (V1) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! This Brazilian Blowtorch comes with his card. On the back you'll find out what his jibberish name is. Blowtorch quit the Joe's early, citing that he was forced to shave his moustache after incessant Hitler references were made. Although one must imagine he must have not been too happy that his flamethrower was so unashamedly offered in Accessory Pack #3. The jibberish on the front of the card says: "now with total motion in the arms and more equipment".

Checkpoint - COMPLETE WITH INSTRUCTIONS Bid now! This thing is hardly used. I have an extra speedbump, since now with these hybrids you can't even hear 'em comin'.

Mutt (V1) Bid now! This is probably the Brazilian version. Mutt is only missing his helmet, and the wristband on his baton is broken off but included. Thumb is broken. The dog comes neutered from the breeder, so there's nothing to see there, folks.

Rip Cord (V1) - COMPLETE Bid now! This is probably the Brazilian version. Note: the rifle in this picture is missing the handle (and that's what you'll get in the zip lock bag) but there's another complete rifle packaged with some extra guns (see near the end of the page) Rip Cord emigrated to the US from western Czechoslovakia when he was 16. He was fired from his first job in New Jersey at a butcher shop for spending too long straightening his bratwurst. With no money, he booked himself on a flight to Virginia to enlist, where he knew his discipline would be valued. To avoid the consequences of the bad check he wrote for the ticket, he jumped out of the plane before landing, and he's stuck with parachuting ever since. As you can imagine, no one can fold a parachute like Rip Cord.

Items belonging to Spirit Bid now! This is probably the Brazilian version. Spirit's spirit lives on with his spirit. His body is in sacred ground now. What's left are the contents of his locker: Qty. one (1) stuffed eagle (feet missing---you didn't relaly think a live eagle was landing on that Adidas wrist band of his, did you?) .

Qty. one (1) crotch-warming belt.

Qty. one (1) automatic arrow rifle.

Qty. one (1) tracker backpack with a buttload of auto arrow ammo.

Accessory Pack #4 - WITH CARD Bid now! There is one piece missing---the thing that connects the missile launcher box to the two legs. everything else is there.

Heavy Metal (V1) Bid now! This is the figure only. His gun and microphone were taken during his last flight for failure to turn off electronic devices below 10,000 feet. He's lucky he didn't get arrested.

Tomahawk - COMPLETE WITH INSTRUCTIONS and extras Bid now! This is probably the best item I have. If I had the original box I'd hop into my DeLorean and put it back on the shelf at Toys R Us where I got it. You have the instructions in great shape; two drivers (Lift-Ticket V1), an extra cargo area seat, ORIGINAL WINCH CABLE, and relatively straight blades. I say that because these blades are a soft plastic which is prone to creep (meaning it deforms under its own weight). I stress-releaved the worse blades in the oven at low temperature so they are pretty straight but not in "as new" condition. I would only describe four of the ten blades using those terms. The others I would describe as "in very good shape" since there are no nicks or scrapes and they all have the original shiny surface intact.

Vehicle Gear Accessory Pack #1 - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! Switch out the IISOTCPTIM missiles in newer vehicles with these "Russians don't take a dump without a plan" units. Or, if you want to send a message to congress, replace missiles with ... skis.

B.A.T (V1, Brazilian) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! This guy takes like 27 cycles to do a floating point division. With an 8 MHz CPU, he's not going to be doing your homework for you. But he will entertain you by switching his attachments in psuedo-random order for hours at a time.

Cobra Pogo Ballistic Battle Ball - COMPLETE WITH INSTRUCTIONS Bid now! Beatrice B. Bondurant battled back-slapping baccarat bullies boasting Ballistic Battle Ball piloting skills beyond any level of alliteration. And thus was born the "Pogo".

Dial-Tone (V1) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! Dial-Tone went on a one-year exchange program to France and then majored in communications because he flunked out of the engineering department.

Avalanche (V1) - COMPLETE and Blaster (V1); WITH DOUBLE CARD Bid now! Blaster is missing his mask. They both have IBS; easy fix with a new o-ring. They are both missing their drivers licenses after a two-week shore-leave gone bad.

Cobra B.U.G.G. - WITH INSTRUCTIONS Bid now! The vehicle itself is complete, but the driver is not there. There is one missile tab broken on the drivers' side side pod; I've included the tab so you can glue it back on if you want. (The tab is not shown in the pictures but I remember packing it.)

Destro's Despoiler - COMPLETE WITH INSTRUCTIONS Bid now! Nobody liked riding with Destro (V2); his morning ritual was like 18 hours long and it was downright weird. Not to mention the fact that Golobulus was often tagging along since Destro was the only guy who didn't think the ooze that came out of the tip of Golobulus's tail wasn't disgusting. Getting his face gold-plated was the last straw: that's when they built him this thing so they could more easily leave him out of Russian Poker night. As you can see from the picture, attaching a cape by one corner only was about the stupidest thing you could do if your primary means of transportation is a convertible---inevitably, it's detached.

Nemesis Enforcer (V1), Royal Guard (V1) - COMPLETE; Golobulus (V1) - COMPLETE; Bid now! I'm pretty sure I packed the triple-card these came in, but since I can't find a picture, I won't promise anything. Royal Guard has his easy-to-lose headset, but Nemesis Enforcer had to sell his bat wings to make ends meet. He kept the tentacles so he could keep giving his "peers" wet willies with those gross tentacles.

Outback (V1) - WITH CARD Bid now! Outback is missing his flashlight. But with the omnipresence of LED's these days, why would you want it? He's waiting until battery life improves.

Raptor (V1) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! Many criticized Raptor for his ridiculous "halloween costume" as some would refer to it. Nevertheless he held his own, seeing as how his pet bird could rip your tonsils out from the outside. His wings are in perfect condition other than the wrinkles. No rips at the grip-holes or any of the corners. The bird's feet are intact and grip well.

Bazooka (V2) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! It's been said that Tiger Force was born when there was a laundry service accident that caused weird stripes to show up in pants that were being washed between the period of November 21st and December 12th 1986. Yes, the bleach leak into the dryer went unnoticed that long. Rumor has it that Lietenant O'Hara had incriminating pictures of a high-ranking officer and Gnawgahyde's boar and it was her sister Lucy that owned the laundry service, and this is why GI Joe chose the "this was part of our plan" route and told those with the stripe stains they were now part of Tiger Force. They were all sent to a "mission in the jungle" to make suere there were no complaints.

Blizzard (V1) - COMPLETE Bid now! Blizzard suffered from a terrible bout of bowel twist and needs a new o-ring. Blizzard was well-known in the group for his tender face and lively personality but everyone snickered once he geared up because he looked like a total dork. Secretly he was scared of anything bigger than a .22 so he wrapped his guns in socks to make them look bigger.

Charbroil (V1) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! His original code name was "Charr" but morale soon improved once Command realized someone named after burnt meat is not going to do so well in battle. Then things went a little over the top when he had the techs fashion that ridiculous helmet. Once the shoulder pads arrived the others started calling him "Bowie and Arrow" behind his back.

Conquest - WITH INSTRUCTIONS Bid now! This guy is missing one yellow missile but is otherwise complete. Vertical stabilizers are undamaged and the landing gear is in great shape. After the Tiger Force laundry incident, a few of the more wreckless guys staged a laundry "accident" at Cobra's facilities which, at the time, was operated by Bob Dole's cousin Gilroy. Unfortunately it totally backfired as it inspired some really cool designs that were immediately applied to experimental vehicles like this one, which until that point had been mothballed due to their boring paint job. Now if you ain't scared by a snake-skin forward-swept bird shitting bombs at you, you ain't human.

Duke (V2) - WITH CARD Bid now! This specimen is complete, but his crotch broke off. If you want to see what a broken crotch does to a man, look at his card picture and compare it to his actual face. Duke lost his crotch during the renegade Cobra laundry facility attack. After the incident he slowly fell out of grace with the guys as he started singing Bocelli in the shower---and the showers got longer and longer until he could finish Bocelli's rendition of Il Pagliacci in one sitting (standing? stroke?). The fact that it was all inspired by Seinfeld's "The Opera" episode was strange enough. I mean, if you have culture, that's fine, but getting it from Seinfeld? Seriously.

Hydro-Viper (V1) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! Poor guy looks really scared. Doesn't he know if he doesn't show dominance over his ray it will walk all over him? That mask sure makes him look like one tough SOB. This starts the "that guy needs a hose" period from Hasbro. I don't know what they were thinking. They must have found a huge spool of it on eBay.

- WITH CARD Bid now! Note this figure is complete but his crotch is broken. I think his name should have been Cybertron 2000 or something. With his own class 5 droid, this guy's got more megabytes than you can shake a stick at, so watch out.

Muskrat (V1) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! I don't know what to think of this guy. Does he spend his weekends boogie boarding at Manhattan Beach? Is he from the bayou? Is a baby blue machete intimidating? I mean if you are on waters open enough for surfing, what's the machete for? Anyway, his hat is cool.

Psyche-Out (V2) and Tunnel Rat (V2) - COMPLETE; WITH DOUBLE-CARD Bid now! Psyche-Out includes his easy-to-loose head antenna but is missing one of his wrist radar dishes (it was going to give him cancer anyway). Tunnel Rat is complete. Part of Psyche-Out's "deception" was that he was a good soldier. So they quietly teamed him up with Tunnel Rat, who was known as a no-nonsense death machine, frequently spending weeks in tunnels he would dig under the battlefield, living off of gophers and carefully collected ground water. He never thought that was hard enough, so he packed a huge pack full of mostly crumpled up newspaper and left over bricks just so that his tunnels had to be that much bigger. Tunnel Rat had what I firmly believe is the most voluminous "pre-douche" backpacks in the series. Once they started coming out with the light and sound packs, launchers, and squirters, the game changed....

Repeater (V1) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! This is Repeater after his gastric bypass surgery. Unfortunately it turned out it was all muscle and now he looks like a wimp. The card shows the man he once was.

Road Pig (V1) - WITH FILE CARD Bid now! His hammer is broken but I later found the handle so I packed it. Colitis did away with his o-ring. Road Pig had the beefiest thighs of any figure in the series. If you are into Frankensteining your own super-dude, you'll need him in your collection. I can't imagine little DeLuca with a porkchop around his neck... but somehow I can imagine him rubbing bacon all over his chest and watching the rest of the guys leave the mess hall.

Shockwave (V1) - WITH CARD Bid now! This guy is missing his pistol. But with a knife longer than his thigh and machine gun, who cares? I wonder if he takes that mask off to shower.

Toxo-Viper (V1) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! Here's another "hoser". One of the coolest helmets in the series. Nice backpack, too. He's one of the most successful Cobra agents, having set the Joe's back years at a time with numerous requests for environmental reports and tons of EPA citations.

Annihilator (V1) - WITH FILE CARD Bid now! Most of his equipment is missing, as is his right forearm---bad night in the middle east.

Backblast (V1) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! Like most of us, in his spare time he would do math on his thigh. Study his pad and increase your SAT scores.

Dee-Jay (V1) - WITH CARD Bid now! Missing is one plug and his antenna. Dee-Jay marks an attempt from Hasbro at being "culturally aware". See how you think they did.

Deep Six (V2) - COMPLETE WITH CARD and extras Bid now! You get one complete figure with uncut card. You also get both parts of a cut card, an extra gun, an extra backpack, and a mini-Joe that, according to the packaging, came with one of them. V2 of Deep Six doesn't compare to the original if you ask me. Especially the solid helmet, when other figures had clear visors. But, this guy can scratch his nose, and the original one couldn't.

Downtown (V1) - WITH CARD Bid now! Missing three missiles and his helmet. Downtown is blonde. He likes cats and long walks on the beach. He had trained his cat to bring him more mortar shells but Cobra captured him with an elusive cat nip trap so now 6 shots is all he gets.

Frag-Viper (V1) - WITH CARD Bid now! Missing one grenade. Also, the micro-figure is not included. I only have one (and it's shown in the Deep Six V2 listing). After the backlash of the initial "what, did you just find a spool of tubing and now every Joe has some" allegations, Hasbro decided to include two different types of tubing with this figure. Frag-Viper is actually jai-alai champion Juan Alonso de Acetominofinas, who faked is death after losing millions in baccarat in the casinos of Monte Carlo. Having helped so many poor children by inspiring them to become jai-alai players---a simple, safe sport requiring little equipment other than a 40x40x180 foot room---he decided to enlist with the bad guys for a change.

Gnawgahyde (V1) - WITH CARD Bid now! He's only missing his knife. His boar still has all his bacon on him. For the Frankensteiners, Gnawgahyde has one of the most defined torsos, and a face like you'd find at a freak show, so it's a twofer. Diverticulitis took his o-ring.

H.E.A.T Viper (V1) - WITH CARD and extra bazooka. Bid now! Another double-tuber. Missing three bazooka shells, but comes with extra bazooka. This guy was able to carry bazooka shells on his ankles because he was so goth there was no way in hell you'd ever see him make a sudden move or---god forbid---dance. He was so goth, in fact, that he had his goth haircut molded into a helmet. You'll note that the artwork shows a completely different helmet; the only possible commonality is the silver part which is on the opposite side. Way to go, art director.

Hammerhead - COMPLETE WITH INSTRUCTIONS; DRIVER WITH FILE CARD Bid now! The YoJoe picture is wrong---this thing only comes with what's pictured here, as confirmed by the instructions. Hammerhead, like most Cobra vehicles, was pretty good looking. Unfortunately this one shows full commitment to IISOTCPTIM. That green is so painful even the camera has a tough time with it. Decimator (V1) is also complete and has his file card. Take him to your next party and watch him lower your sample rate safely.

Mobile Battle Bunker - COMPLETE Bid now! The Joes hung on, defiant to IISOTCPTIM for a bit longer than Cobra did. This is a great little tank and it will teach your kids about four-bar linkages.

Night-Viper (V1) parts WITH FILE CARD Bid now! What's left of him is in good shape---backpack and upper body. Give him a skateboard and let him chant, "I have no legs...."

Python Trooper (V1) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! After some bad tacos and a serious bout of endometriosis, he'll need a new o-ring. Not sure if Hasbro put out this nameless expendable dude so kids would feel they had to buy more than one? I think I bought this guy because I was desperate to get something that actually looked like a real soldier. Maybe you'll get lucky and find someone with a stash of 9 of these so you can make your own mini-brigade.

Retaliator - COMPLETE WITH ORIGINAL WINCH CABLE; DRIVER WITH FILE CARD Bid now! Retaliator was kind of cool. Colors are under control. The pistol grip is, well, because it's a toy. The folding blades are a nice touch, especially given how hard it is to remove them from the Blackhawk. Updraft (V1) is complete with file card. He couldn't look like more of a dork. Especially with his blaster style pistol and his ridiculous spaceman 1974 helmet. At least his hair cut is accurate to the period. I never understood why the pistols were alwasy so ridiculously large. Look at that thing.

Rock & Roll (V2) - WITH CARD Bid now! Everything is here, but I don't list it as complete because one of the machine gun handles broke off and it will be a difficult repair (both pieces included). Rock & Roll loved going hunting. First, he'd dump 3,000 rounds to mow down the forest and increase visibility. Then he'd quietly prone with his lever-action rifle and wait for dinner.

Sgt. Slaughter (V4) - WITH CARD Bid now! He only came with a baton, and it's missing. I'll bet it's soliedly lodged in a lazy soldier's bum.

Scoop (V1) - WITH CARD Bid now! The microphone is missing. Scoop is a nice figure. You can see AV geek all over his face. Kudos to the sculptor that made his mold master. Now, more than 20 years later, his position has been replaced by velcro and Hero cameras. Scoop went back to replace his favorite middle school teacher in Bettendorf, Iowa, to "teach computers".

Stalker (V2) Bid now! He's missing his mask. OK; this confirms the creative team was racist. You're going to take a black guy, give him green pants, send him into the tundra with a 100 pound brown machine gun, a full-size kayak with only one stabilizer, and then tell him to go quietly follow the bad guy? You could sit on a rocking chair half alseep and know exactly where this guy was from within a one mile radius; you just have to listen to cursing and watch the trees move as he invetiably hits every god-given branch in the forest with all this crap.

T.A.R.G.A.T (V1) (qty. 2) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! You are getting two complete figures with card. OK, forced acronyms are tacky. But forced acronyms that had to be changed because they didn't quite fit are just ludicrous. WTF is a TARGAT? "Trans Atmospheric Rapid Global Assault Trooper". OK, first, good luck being trans atmospheric and not having those grenades on your gut ignite on re-entry. Also, isn't rapid implied? What, you were going to tie him to a weather balloon and bomb the secret base next month? The opaque visor is pretty dumb, too, as is the promise-bracelet-slash-phasor-pistol. But the backpack is one of the coolest they ever made.

Badger - (QTY. 2); ONE COMPLETE Bid now! One of them is missing the antenna. IISOTCPTIM is in full force here. The Joes had no option but to join in. No hope for a surprise attack here.

Battle Wagon - COMPLETE WITH INSTRUCTIONS Bid now! IISOTCPTIM in full effect. There's no looking back. The battery-operated launcher works, and was a great idea. The motor that moves the truck does not, and that was a terrible idea anyway. Given other pathetic soldering jobs I've seen on these things, I'm guessing opening it up will reveal a simple fix. Contacts are clean; no exploded battery residue. The winch cord is not original. This thing looked pretty cool, other than the colors, of course. But after so many years guiding missiles by hand, having a motorized launcher was too little too late, if you ask me.

Capt. Grid-Iron (V1) - WITH CARD Bid now! Missing the visor, footballs, and elbow pads. He's also got a broken crotch; no doubt a bad case of athlete's foot from a dirty jock strap.

Drop Zone (V1) - WITH CARD Bid now! He's got everything but the parachute and blueprint/instructions. If you're racist, you can take Static Line's parachute and complete this guy.

Free-Fall (V1) - WITH CARD Bid now! You only get the figure, the card, and the backpack. Everything else he lost on the way down (including his package). Rapunzel syndrome took his o-ring.

Rock Viper (V1) file card and rifle Bid now! This is all that's left of him. The rest is nowhere to be found due to the government shutdown.

Salvo (V1) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! Note that I think the handle on the missile launcher may be broken off, but mine looks exactly like the one at YoJoe so I'm not sure. Need a tank blowed up? Call Salvo. Need some insurance for your boat? Call Salvo. He ignored the memo advising against moonlighting and took it to the extreme by bringing his insurance forms in a briefcase to the battlefield without fail.

Static Line (V1) - COMPLETE (missing instructions) WITH CARD Bid now! Just want to be clear - the figure and his items are all there (including parachute with no tares and all strings) but the short instructions on how to fold the parachute into the big white backpack are missing. These instructions are generic to all Sky Patrol figures. For a collector this could matter; for someone who wants to play - if you can't figure out how to get it in there, you probably should play with Care Bears instead. Little known fact - in 1989 M.C. Hammer enlisted in the air force as part of a secret government program to make the military more attractive to young people. Things turned sour with his agent when it turned out he was an excellent marksman and his puffy pants served as temporary shelter for up to four soliders out in the field. Hammer didn't want to leave but Capitol Records called it breach of contract so he was honorably discharged and went back to the stage. In honor of his commitment, the US Department of Defense asked Hasbro to create a figure to represent his commitment to the cause, thus Static Line (as in "music is just a bunch of static to me now", as Hammer was once heard to say during a grueling exercise). I promise this is true.

Stretcher (V1) - WITH CARD Bid now! He's missing the tiny radio (flashlight?), control stick, flare gun, and hose. The sled has one foot broken, but it's included. The windshield has yellowed quite a bit. He had one of the coolest backpacks and it and its antenna is there. People often thought he was a doctor (named "Stretcher") but the name comes from the fact that he was sit-and-reach champion of the hole brigade (a whoping 17 and 3/4 inches past his heels - whew!).

Tunnel Rat (V3) - COMPLETE WITH CARD and working battle sounds Bid now! OK, this guy was amazingly ridiculous, but the fact that 22 years later his backpack still makes noises is unbelievable to me (note: I can't remember if it is this backpack, or Psyche-Out's, or both which still work). Many thought that Tunnel Rat actually went through trenches and tunnels dug by soldiers during battle. But as you can see form his tent-sized backpack and small aresnal, there's no way he would fit. The name actually comes from the fact that he used to always wreck the Christmas party by showing up dressed as a giant rat.

Undertow (V1) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! Everything is here, including his awful-smelling barracuda. I have to say, you have to have balls swimming around in a sled which is so powerful it actually makes fire underwater - and right by your feet.

Big Ben (V1) - WITH CARD Bid now! The only thing missing is one grenade, and his private(s). Big ben really liked to eat beef.

Clean-Sweep (V1) - WITH CARD Bid now! He's missing his control panel, but the water-blasting tank still works. You can see some of the color changing stuff on his legs no longer cleans up but it does seem to still change a bit with temperature. This guy was just plain stupid. But you have to remember, this is the height of Captain Planet, which, in it's defense, seems to have been ahead of its time (sadly).

Cobra B.A.T (V2) - WITH CARD Bid now! He's in terrible shape. O-ring loss due to steatorrhea is the least of his problems. At least you get a card.

Crimson Guard Immortal (V1) - WITH CARD (qty. 3) and parts Bid now! I'd love to say one of these is complete but I'm missing one missile (that's it). They are immortal because, as you see, now matter how much you chop them up and abuse them, they come back for more.

Desert Scorpion (V1) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! His keffiyeh is in great shape. If you aim a leaf blower at it it even moves with the wind, just like real life! Holy crap these things are realistic.

Dusty and Sandstorm (V3) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! It's a shame that now you are expected to pick up Sandstorm's poop. You ever try to take poop from a coyote? Not easy.

General Hawk (V1) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! Pretty cool actually transparent visor on the helment and "fly with a jet pack, shoot with a tommy gun" steampunk attitude.

Heavy Duty (V1) - WITH CARD Bid now! He's missing his red visor antenna thingy and one handle on the console is broken. This guy's Ford tough.

Incinerators (V1) - WITH CARD (qty. 2) and extra backpack Bid now! There's a hoop broken on the catapult, and this is an essential part of the rubber-band-powered mechanism to throw up these plastic (fire?)balls. One of those is missing, too. I'm not sure I ever understood the look of this guy. He looks like some sort of Fabergé egg on top of an over-stuffed scarecrow wearing dyed frog skin. Also why is his name plural?

Low-Light (V3) - COMPLETE WITH CARD Bid now! Yes, his crotch it's broken, but it's included - that's the weird thing off to the right. This guy looks like he was born to be a grandpa. And he's got full Geordi La Forge action going on with his helmet.

Psyche-Out (V3) - WITH CARD Bid now! Only items missing are a hose and a stand. I can't remember if it is his backpack or Tunnel Rat's (or both) that still makes noises. The deception in his warefare is that he looks like an early Internet-enabled circus freak. His backpack is the Zach Morris brick phone equivalent of a Linksys.

RAT - WITH INSTRUCTIONS Bid now! The rotors that fly out of the sides were nowhere to be found. So this thing is probably only worth its booklet; it's one of the cheapest, crappiest things they made up until that time.

Red Star (V1) - WITH CARD (qty. 2) Bid now! Everything is there except for the red missile. The ammo belt is identical to that of Crimson Guard Immortal, and you're getting two of those. Note also he had to say Do svidanya to his crotch at some point. Watch some Russian sub movies, then you'll know where that undershirt came from.

Sci-Fi (V2) - WITH CARD Bid now! Missing only hoses. Sci-Fi may have had the face of that ever-rare good looking health teacher (the kind the girls unattainable by the guys who owned Sci-Fi dreamt of), but he was one tough sumuvabitch. He once skinned a squirrel in front of his kids because he dropped an acorn into his launcher and it got lodged between the bore and the missile tip.

Snow Serpent (V2) - WITH CARD and extra snowboard. Bid now! He's only missing some hoses. Snow Serpent enlisted during a budget crisis. He got his guns during this time - reissued from some of the toughest old snakes in the books. Then they started selling ad space on their weapons to make ends meet, and unfortunately Snow Serpent got stuck with sponsorship from Royal Purple.

Tracker (V1) - no figure; accessories only WITH CARD Bid now! The dude is gone. No doubt due to his flamboyant fashion sense and living-in-the-past obsession with Trojan football. The raft still holds air and has some fresh spit in it from when I tried it out. If anyone remembers, that small volume of air is basically impossible to inflate anyway.

Duke (V3) - WITH CARD Bid now! Seat, machine gun, and tripod are missing. One foot hold is broken off the launcher. This guy was no match for his older selves anyway. The recent food truck craze lead to toxic megacolon and now his o-ring is gone.

Headman (V1) - WITH CARD Bid now! Ironic, perhaps, but Headman has lost his hat. He's otherwise complete, though the electricals of his launcher are no good (broken wire; but I didn't want to try to fix it).

Wet-Suit (V3) - WITH CARD Bid now! Harpoon, flipper, and two missiles missing. Not sure the stand is the right color (or that it matters). Ileus took his o-ring.

Wild Bill (V2) - WITH CARD Bid now! Knife and hat missing. But who needs that when you have a missile launcher? Plus now you can cuddle up with him and call him your own "red headed stranger".

Bazooka (V3) (qty. 2) - WITH CARD Bid now! Look at the picture. You get one nearly complete figure (missing one missile), a second figure with everything but the stand, missiles, and launcher, and two cards. His back must be wrecked. Look at his posture.

Beach-Head (V2) (qty. 2) - COMPLETE (qty. 1) WITH CARD (qty. 1) Bid now! Look carefully. You get one complete dude with his card. The oher guy is missing a knife and a missile. Note the second double-gun is shown separately near the end of the page because it's broken in two and I couldn't tell at the time that they belonged here. It hurts me to look at these colors. Move on.

Cobra Commander (V6) - no figure; launcher and missiles only WITH CARD Bid now! I think "Cobra Commander" is Hasbro-talk for "money". There are over 50 versions of him, and the first three already looked like completely different people.

Firefly (V3) - no figure; death top only WITH CARD Bid now! This guy is so stealth you can't even see him.

Leatherneck (V3) Bid now! Missing a knife and a stand. Still there is his ever itchy NRA moustache.

Granadeiro (Brazil) (qty. 2) Bid now! I have two figures in good shape. Only one gun. They also had helments and bipods. They share parts with Grunt but are a different color (amongst other slight differences).

Gun from VAMP Bid now! Damn I wanted that jeep. All I got to steal from my friend was the gun. The barrels still wiggle as you move the lever. Talk about acronyms - VAMP stands for "Multi-Purpose Attack Vehicle".

Random items from the Sierra Muerte Cineplex lost-and-found box. Bid now! Two unidentified cables/hoses/johnson rods Snake Eyes (V1) explosives pack (bottom left) At the bottom right is one of the non-working parachute, which may have been from clone toys like the A-Team figures from Brazil.

Vehicle parts recovered from dismantlers in Borovia. Bid now!

Nice, thick black thread for winding on winches. Bid now!