Thin privilege is not being laughed at by your classmates when you’re trying your best in P.E.

For the record, I’ve been overweight my whole life. I can’t remember a single time when I was actually thin, but it kind of evened itself out as I got older. Right now I’m at my lightest, exactly 93.5 kg at 168cm, but it’s still not light enough to not hear fatphobic things from people I know.

This event happened in 6th grade (I graduated 12th grade this year), but I still remember it as if it happened yesterday. During P.E., we were told that we were going to practice for Sports Day. (It’s basically a day dedicated to sports competitions where teams from the same school compete against each other.)

We had to run as fast as we could while jumping over obstacles, touch the wall, and run back to tag our teammate so they could do the same. Fastest team wins.

When it was my turn, I kept thinking that I had to do my best. I didn’t want my team to lose because of me, so sure enough I ran as fast as my legs would carry me and jumped as high as I could. At first, I heard my classmates behind me yell “Go, go, go!” but after the first jump it turned into laughter.

When I was done, my “”“friend”“” pulled me aside and asked me, “do you know why they were laughing?”. I shook my head, but of course I knew. He actually said to me, in the smuggest tone, “they were laughing at your fatass flying in the air.”

I wasn’t angry. Not at my classmates or my so-called friend. All I felt was hurt and shame. I tried not to cry, but after a couple of minutes I couldn’t hold back my tears and cried in front of everyone. For some reason, the coach got mad at one of my classmates and told her to apologize to me, thinking she was the reason I was crying. I guess she said something insulting about me, probably something to do with my weight.

And that’s the reason I stopped going to P.E. I would do literally anything to keep from going there: hide myself in the bathroom stalls, pretend to be sick, fake injuries, etc. For six years. Because of that experience, I will never exercise in front of anyone for fear of being laughed at and ridiculed again.

P.S. I still see that so-called “friend” around. Well, he’s a mutual friend, so I can’t help but run into him. The most recent fatphobic thing he said to me was “lose some weight, and then maybe I’d consider dating you.” Too bad I’d never date you no matter what, asshole.