What High Sensitivity Is (And What It Isn’t)

Over the years, I’ve come to realize what a powerful advantage sensitivity can be. Today, as a coach and writer, empathy is part of my job description, and I view my sensitivity as a gift. But it wasn’t always that way. I used to beat myself up and feel like I was operating by a different set of rules. That’s another common experience for HSPs: internally struggling with self-doubt and low esteem because you feel broken.

First of all, it’s important to understand clearly that high sensitivity isn’t a disorder. It also isn’t the same as being introverted or shy. In fact, about 30 percent of HSPs are extroverts. It’s part of who you are — not a flaw that needs fixing or something you just snap out of, despite endless comments from family, friends, and strangers telling you to grow a thick skin and stop taking everything so seriously.

In general, HSPs are more aware of and affected by external stimuli than non-HSPs. They are often empaths, meaning they possess a keen ability to sense others’ feelings, needs, and insecurities. HSPs have rich inner worlds and, as a result, internalize everything more deeply — from social interactions to emotions to physical and visual sensations. (That pen you’re tapping during a meeting doesn’t go unnoticed by an HSP.)

The downside to these perceptive abilities is that HSPs can easily become overwhelmed. Criticism can be hard to swallow, as not everyone communicates with the same thoughtfulness and tendency for nuance as HSPs. Certain environments, like open floor-plan offices or crowded streets, can send an HSP running for refuge.

Because high sensitivity is widely misunderstood, the behavior of HSPs can confound (and even frustrate) others. Being highly sensitive doesn’t make a person weak, but it does mean HSPs have to manage themselves and their relationships, work, and lives differently than most people in order to thrive.