One time a wizard was having tea with his friend a talking owl.

“This tea is too hot for my beak.” said the owl, “Can I have an ice cube?”

“Of course.” said the wizard, who kindly took the cup of tea and walked into the other room to put some ice in it.

BUT THE OWL WAS LYING! As soon as the wizard got up he put a dead mouse in his chair (that’s the kind of thing owls think is super hilarious) and waited and waited and waited for the wizard to get back. Finally he got hungry and ate the mouse.

Right as he did that the door burst open and the Wizard came in with the tea.

“Sorry that took so long,” said the Wizard “I didn’t have any ice so I had to learn a spell to make some.”

“No problem.” said the owl as he took a sip of his tea.

“By the way,” asked the wizard “aren’t owl beaks supposed to be like super tough? I’m surprised the tea was too hot for you.”

“Actually it wasn’t,” said the owl, “I just said that so you would leave the room and I could put a dead mouse in your chair.”

“That’s what I figured,” said the wizard, “Oh by the way, that’s not an ice cube in your drink. It’s a magical diamond that makes animals tell the truth.”

“I’m sexually attracted to pigeons.” said the owl.

Art by Miranda Britton