I’m no Shakespeare, but since today is World Poetry Day, I wrote this.

This event occurred last Wednesday, March 14th, 2018. Although one social media post was made, I decided it would only be fitting to tell the whole story today, Wednesday, March 21st, 2018 — World Poetry Day.

For your ease: Brandon’s commentary — red | my commentary — black

Let’s begin.

Wednesday, March 14th, 2018 7:47pm PST

Brandon and I were working on a few things at the office for our fintech startup, Payclub (shameless plug), when I suddenly receive this message on Facebook.

I wasn’t really on a call, but aside from Max being in an investor community I manage, Millennial Wall Street (final shameless plug), I didn’t really know him. He took advantage of the green light “ask now, I’ll respond later” and proceeded.

:::eye roll::: I’ve seen enough emails from members of Nigerian royalty who want to wire me their cash, so I wanted to cut this short. Brandon, however, had another plan.

Okay — the hacker clearly needs a phone number. But here’s when Brandon goes from CTO to stand-up comedian.

WE. NEED. A. POEM.

Who in their right mind skips cuddle time? FFS, aren’t we in America?!

We’re dying of laughter at this point. The “i tried my best” part is hilarious because we Googled a bit and couldn’t find it. Did the hacker actually write this?! Let us know if you find it. But — the show ain’t over!

How romantic…

Providing an address and going in for the close! Someone must have watched Glengarry Glen Ross, but we demand an encore! #CoffeeIsForClosers

This is where I leave the office and take over the conversation.

At this point, even my Lyft driver is asking what I’m laughing about so much…

For those counting, the hacker’s haiku has the right syllable count.

Winds Icy Passage-5

Spoiling the beggar’s outlook-7

Yet there are flowers-5

But— was it good enough?

If you’re feeling sad-5

Come into my open arms-7

I will comfort you-5

Hacker’s haiku on point again!

This has gone on long enough. Time to start ending it.

Now I’m back to see how far I can take this…

I guess knock knock jokes still work!

Max reached out a few days and apologized for being hacked. I told him to go back and look at the conversation because I’d be writing about it.

Here’s where it gets better. Again, I knew very little about Max. I did know he works in the crypto space, but was incorrectly told that he’s with a crypto hedge fund. It makes sense to go after people involved in big money, so I figured that’s why he was a target. Turns out this isn’t the case.

Wait! Po.et. PO.ET? POET?!

ARE YOU F*CKING KIDDING ME RIGHT NOW?! (sorry Brandon’s mom if you’re reading this)

The coincidence is ridiculous, but it makes the entire ordeal even funnier!

In conclusion, what have we learned today?



- Have a sense of humor.

- Cuddle time is important.

- Don’t stash your porn in the cloud…that’s stupid.

- If you work in the blockchain and cryptocurrency space, you are more likely a target for hackers and scammers these days. Everyone, please be careful with all of your accounts, passwords, and private information.

- Don’t give out your number by calling or texting someone who seems really shady on the Internet. It’s never been easier to log in to accounts and apps using a number.

You can follow me on Twitter here, follow Max on Twitter here, and find more about the Po.et team and company here.

Happy World Poetry Day everyone!