

By Bill Maher

Alabama’s governor signed a law last month that says abortion clinics can’t operate within 2,000 feet of a school. Who is this law supposed to protect? Do they think kids will confuse the buildings and get abortions by mistake? (“Well, since I’m here already, you might as well kill my baby.”) Do they think an abortion clinic gives kids sexy thoughts, like a porn theatre? (“Oooo, outpatient surgery… so hot!”) Do they imagine the clinics make a lot of money from foot traffic? You know, impulse aborters? Do they think the kids won’t be able to concentrate in class over the sound of the vacuums? Or are they just looking for method #1,000,001 to infringe on a woman’s constitutional rights?

Oh, by complete coincidence, the new law will close two of the state’s last five clinics.