The following is the excerpt (relevent to the purposes of official report) of the transcript from the authorised emergency interaction session on 19 December 1986, 1900 hours in confinement chamber 42-B between the esteemed Chairman of the Department of Science and Physiology and the honoured subject 7AH under observation in the facility:

“I heard you come in, they told me that you will be the one personally hearing me out, if it was under better circumstances I would have given you a warm welcome”

“I had to come here myself for the pride of our nation. I must tell you, it pains me to see you in such position.But let us not waste any time and please brief me about your stay here, and the disease you are suffering from”

“ Straight to the point,eh? You will find that my case is that of misunderstanding and helplessness”

“I would request that you be more specific about it”

“Sure, Let me tell you all about it. I have rehearsed it all.You ever seen a photograph?”

Photographs. They are the frames that capture the happening of the moment for eternity, When we see the world around us passing by, what we see is a batch of photographs taken by our eyes in continuation and streamed through our brain to detect.

“It takes around 16 ms for neurons in the visual cortex to begin to recognize and categorize a newly appearing visual input”,

I will put this in Layman terms for you: after every 16 milliseconds our brain takes a new photograph which is continuously provided by our eyes and puts them together to see how the world is changing. It is something which we take for granted, let me rephrase it; it is something that you, my dear arbitrator take for granted. I used to do that too.

One of the ailments that haunts me is a very peculiar one.

“The MT5 region of your brain seems to have rewired itself to form a recursive network of neurons which keeps on sending the same stimulus to the neurons, and judging by the progression of your condition it seems like it is trying to disregard the external new stimulus provided by your eyes. Currently it seems to do that for random time periods throughout the day. I am afraid that your condition is going to exponentially worsen over time both in case of duration and severity”

Instead of continuous fast paced images in form of a video. I see discrete photos that are stuck in my mind over time and the time for which it is stuck in my head is increasing and increasing fast.

Let me give you an example, at the initial phases of my ailment, When I poured tea in a cup, I saw the part when I began pouring and the part that I overfilled the cup after 5 seconds, but not the part where the cup was being filled.

But it isn’t like this happened to me all the time at the beginning, I had normal vision for most of the time but then suddenly for lets say 5 minutes my brain sees images every 5 seconds instead of every 16 ms and after those 5 minutes are done it goes back to seeing the proper video. My shrinks started calling these incidents as “Vision-Attacks”. This however was my condition when I was in a relatively better place than now, I think that is pretty visible . The problem is that the vision attacks occurred randomly and their duration was increasing every time they occur. If that wasn’t enough, the time between continuous pictures taken by my brain during these attacks was also increasing with each attack.

At this point however I feel like I should begin with the inception of it all, of course, I will be skipping my role in the war and the atrocities that I committed, the documents are going to be declassified after my death and I am going to be posthumously court-marshalled and disgraced anyways, I would rather delay the inevitable. That was always the plan. If you would however like a better explanation about the phantoms haunting me, I would urge you to go through any and every document released by our “gilded” leaders that remotely mentions me or the quote “Spero in Mortem”.

However what I will admit to is that I was at the epicentre of the horrific incident that led to the end of the entire conflict, the infamous bunker incident which is shrouded in mystery. I miraculously survived, was decommissioned after that incident and after being celebrated as a hero by my superiors who plan to stone my reputation when I am no longer alive, I was given my service uniform as a memento to bring back. Oh , I wish that it was the only thing that I brought back.

“ Your condition seems to be result of multiple head traumas, exposure to nerve gas and radiation, we cannot be sure. Like I said before , it is only going to worsen”

I started seeing the symptoms of my vision defect about a fortnight after returning back home. Instead of sending me back to civilian life I was put in care of the nations best facility for Psychology and Neuroscience , they say that they did this because they want to make sure that I am healthy enough to live a normal life, they had to do this after all I had gone through, it is like they had a premonition that there is something wrong with me.

But with all that being said, they had provided me with a nice living space on campus of the institute, an apartment of my own in the block where the campus residents live, that is the least they could have done for me. On one hand I was glad that I was under supervision, The dusking days of the conflict left me with permanent mental scars which occasionally surfaced in form of sleep paralysis and PTSD triggered panic attacks. I was convinced that I will overcome that soon and be a civilian again. On the other, I often thought that they want to experiment on me, squeeze out everything I have, for this nation of theirs. I tried to suppress the latter for the most part.

After around a week in the facility and multiple nervous breakdowns, I was feeling a lot better, All the time with the shrinks, (well technically they can be classified into Neuroscientists, Psychiatrists and Psychologists but I am going to refer them all as shrinks) seemed to have paid off. Their names of course, do not matter as they seemed to change in a constant flux. Frankly I was very relived with this arrangement, I never wanted to be completely vulnerable to a single person ever again, However deep down I know that they kept a well documented record of me which these shrinks might look at and giggle whenever I had an appointment. I tried not to think about it, the thought that there exists something written that justifies your entire existence is not another burden I wanted to add to the heap.

A heathen propagandist once said, “ Desires are root cause to all the suffering”. Maybe I suffered because I desired, Desired to roam around as a common man, free to weave his own strings of destiny. But I was already bound to the chain that I had woven one lock at a time throughout the war.

As I was saying before, A week into the facility and I had already starting feeling better, it might be because of the fact that every morning I had to take a cocktail of pills, or the fact that I started to understand my behaviour in a much fundamental level or maybe it was because I spent most of my time trying to figure out the correct paths in this labyrinth that was mistaken for a treatment facility. I was given an introductory session that spanned the entire first week, wherein I was told what will happen to me in this facility along with the precious information that I will be put under re-evaluation at the end of the four weeks to see if I am healthy enough. The session was coupled with a lot of medical tests, they made the days pass quickly.

Based on the results and shrink’s observation, I was allotted a dynamic schedule that I had to follow for my well-being which was dropped at my door every morning at 5:30 am.

“I will find someone truly special and worthy for me.”

“I have noticed that you specifically emphasized on worthy, I have seen your record, you claimed that you had no prior romantic relations or interests before the war. Did you find someone whom you deemed unworthy during the war?”

“I might have, but I would rather not talk about it, I had to take some decisions that I prefer not to think about”

“One last question, why do you deem her to be unworthy for you?”

“I think you already know what makes a person unworthy to live, I cannot say anything more, the whole context is classified”

“Of course, I just did not expect that a decorated hero of the people like you would make this kind of mistake. Pardon my ignorance . Moving on…”

At the beginning of the second week, they cut open a wound that wasn’t fully healed yet , They forced me to think about what I did to her, of course I was quick to avoid it, I cannot talk about it even if I wanted to, anything except the existence of the bunker incident is classified. Even the mention of the incident is taxing to me. So I did what I always do, Bury the emotions deep beneath the field of my mind.

Week 2 also marked the inception of daily (except weekends) physical activity upon my request which usually spanned for two hours from 6 am to 8 am. The exercise routine was an hour of running followed by an hour of body weight training and yoga.

Unlike other role bearers allotted to me, my physical trainer, the retired drill sergeant, Aldalbert “Bertie” Müller was the constant in my entire duration of stay. Birds of same feather flock together, I connected with him within our first four sessions, unlike most people he wasn’t dazzled to meet me for the first time, which was nice for a change of pace. I got to know that he retired from his duty about 5 years ago and was occasionally paid to come over to the facility for certain patients, important ones, he mentioned. He wasn’t allowed to share their details but he assured me that the facility has treated them of any ailments that they might possess and some of them are still in contact with him. I could understand why. He was the only constant in this institute that is in constant flux. Only friendly face in the crowd.

I had never felt so rejuvenated ever since my childhood, after a long time in my life I felt like I am in charge and I can mould myself in any fashion that I want to. This epiphany came to me when I was attending the Sunday evening service that Adalbert forced me to go to. After years of distancing myself from our true lord, I finally found it in myself to pray for serenity and thank him that the worst phase of my life is over. God must be a sadist.

On the Monday of the third week I woke up as usual after hearing a series of raps on my door at 5:30 am. For some reason I had a splitting headache, which I tried to gulp down along with an aspirin, after reviewing the day’s schedule and finishing my daily ritual, I navigated my way to the central grounds. Bertie was already there waiting for me in his camo print track-suit.

“Ready for the run, Sergeant!” I exclaimed

“Ha ha, not today soldier, Today I planned out the gentlemen’s sport for us.”

“Boxing?”

“Of course not, does this ground look like gym to you? Today we will have a hand to hand combat drill, sport of the true gentlemen. It is going to be easy for you, it has been 6 years since I last did this“

“I thought you retired 5 years ago”

“Yeah the last year things got more practical because of the war, you ought to know that”

“Lets not talk about it”

Surprisingly close ranged combat was more useful to me during war than gun slinging, well that might be because of the tactical nature of my specific work.

I almost felt that Bertie was lying to me about being out of practice, I was barely able to keep up with his blows to parry them, then I decided to go offensive and landed a cross jab right on his chiselled jaw. He staggered back a foot and then cocked back his arm to build momentum, and then he froze. That is the moment I can pin point everything to.

That is when it first happened.

I felt a ringing pain on my temple and a sudden feeling that I am falling .But the Sergeant was still there ,I could see him, standing in front of me ,frozen, with his hand clenched in a fist next to his ear.

Next thing I knew was that I felt a strong impact at the back of my head and suddenly the scene shifted and I saw blue with some specks of white, I was staring at the sky, I had fallen like Goliath and the punch was my pebble. The entire fiasco took place in 2 seconds. I sat on the ground right after I got to realise what was going on.

“ Son” I heard an echo. As the ringing faded, it became more clear

“Son are you alright?”

“Yes Bert”

“What happened there? I thought you would block that”

“Brain fart, I think it is enough for today, I need to go now” I replied trying to cover up this surreal experience,

“But we still have your muscles and Chakras to work on”

“Not today Sergeant, not today”

I discussed the incident with my flavour of the day shrink and he said that it might have been caused because of misfires in my brain. He said that it was insignificant but asked me to report it if it happens again. The rest of the day was very mundane, my routine went as usual, I talked more about my feelings, went through several tests, rehabilitation exercises from the drones ( the nursing staff), you know, the same old routine.

The next day, that is Tuesday of the third week saw one more such incident, this one happened in the morning when I was taking the breakfast. Remember how I talked about pouring tea? That happened to me. Empty cup. Overflown cup. Slightly burnt hand.

This time I reported it with a tone of urgency which was again followed by more tests and a conclusion that they will open my skull and observe it on Thursday. They also nicknamed these moments as vision attacks.

On Wednesday I spent 10 minutes watching a series of pictures changing every 2 minutes with continuous audio on television and 7 minutes staring at a still fan that changed its orientation suddenly while I experienced its cooling effect on my face.

On Thursday, I was sedated early in the morning for brain activity observation. The entire procedure was supposed to go on for 10 hours.

“We will open your skull , look at specific parts of your brain , give different stimuli to your eyes while you are unconscious and observe the changes. You are very likely to get these vision attacks over this time period, if not then the time period might be extended.”

I regained consciousness by 7 pm and was soon greeted with dinner on my ward bed, One of the drones told me that the operation was over by 5 pm and what they found out was pretty interesting and I will be briefed about it as soon as the shrinks made sense out of it . I had to spend night in the observation ward so that I can be treated in case of any complications. The dinner tasted kind of funny, I was assured that it was one of the side effects of the anaesthesia.

For some reason I felt extremely exhausted after my dinner so I dozed off into a deep sleep by 8 pm.

One of the things that war has made me despise is sleeping, I was never able to dream and today was no exception, the real horror starts when I am about to wake up, because sometimes I experience sleep paralysis, A state when my mind is semi-conscious but my body is in a state which is quite similar to rigor mortis. I am not able to move at all, this is usually accompanied by hallucinations, Oddly this was the first time I am experiencing it ever since I came to the facility. As usual, I saw a silhouette of a woman staring at me along with an uneasy pressure on my chest. At this point I was very much accustomed to her standing there and judging me . Maybe it is karma, After all I killed her in the bunker incident. I killed my love. However, seeing her always brought something more than dread, it brought a flood of emotions and heartache that no amount of therapy will ever make me used to. So I followed the drill and tried to push myself out of paralysis, after a few attempt to flutter my legs in the air I was able to do so, At this point the mind fully awakens ,the pressure on chest is relieved and the hallucinations seep away . However it did not happen this time, I realised that I had a vision attack in my sleep, the silhouette was still there. So I swatted the air where the mirage is supposed to be standing just for the sake of confirmation, I hit nothing there, I waited for the scene to shift and it shifted soon enough, the spectre haunting my mind was gone .But the vision attack still persisted , I saw quick bright flashes of something which seemed like a face and saw the dimly lit ward again, empty, with the bright LED clock stuck in time, flashing 0542. I could hear heavy breathing, but there was no one in my vision. The flashes had never occurred to me before. And the breathing I heard was macabre in fashion and unnatural, maybe my ears are ringing, maybe it was the side effect of the surgery. But panic got the better of me. I screamed for assistance and heard hurried footsteps rushing towards me that is when the next picture can to my mind, I was a blur moving towards the exit and a nurse entering form the other side. Then the picture of a visage flashed in my mind again and my vision was back to normal, the attack was over. The room was lit up, apparently the nurse had turned the lights on, I was the only one in the entire ward with the nurse being an exception.

I was too anxious at the time to think properly, I screamed at the nurse, thinking it was some sort of elaborate prank, I screamed at top of my lungs. I heard more footsteps coming towards my ward, The orderlies were here. The nurse requested me to calm down and tell her what happened. But I was paranoid , those flashes cannot be a co-incidence. So I went for the throat.

“WHAT IS GOING ON?WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME?”

That was the first time I realised that maybe I was going mad. I wanted to keep squeezing her neck until I got any answers. But I wasn’t able to do so, my grip loosened as I felt a sharp jab on my shoulders, I was sedated by one of the orderlies.

“The MT5 region of your brain seems to have rewired itself to form a recursive network of neurons which keeps on sending the same stimulus to the neurons, and judging by the progression of your condition it seems like it is trying to disregard the external new stimulus provided by your eyes. Currently it seems to do that for random time periods throughout the day. I am afraid that your condition is going to exponentially worsen over time both in case of duration and severity”

“I think it is pretty severe already”

“Theoretically there might come a time when you will be seeing one image for your entire life”

“Any Idea why this is happening, if you know the root of this maybe you can cure it”

“ Your condition seems to be result of multiple head traumas, exposure to nerve gas and radiation, we cannot be sure. Like I said before , it is only going to worsen”

This was the exchange that I had when I was woken up in constraints on Friday night, one of the shrink stayed behind to personally inform me about my condition. I convinced him to stay there in case I feel the presence of the spectre haunting me or see the flashes.

I did not suffer from any vision attacks that night, But there were many flashes of the visage throughout my sleepless night. I talked to the shrink about it and he told me not to think much of it as they surely are the after effects of the surgery. After seeing my calm demeanour he gracefully had my constraints removed.

“And that brings us here, to Monday of the fourth week, when you get to decide if I am fit enough to leave this facility. I think they called you in early to show you how hopeless my case is. I urge you, I beg you , if you have any humanity in your heart, that you recommend me for the Euthanasia programme. I know that comes under your supervision too.”

“Hold on, you skipped Saturday and Sunday, and please explain what happened to your face”

“I am supposed to be the blind one here, Can’t you see that I clawed my eyes out? And do not avoid my request for Euthanasia, I am dead serious about it. You give it to people who do not want it all the time”

“Please do not throw dirt at the inner workings of my department. I can and I must tell you already, it seems like you are not in a condition to get out of here. Humour me, tell me why would you claw out your eyes? Maybe if you tell me an entertaining tale I might consider you for the programme ”

“ Ah, there is the sadist that everyone talks about. Fine I will tell you what happened on Saturday and Sunday”

I woke up at 6 pm on Saturday evening, I rang the bell to call the nurse, but no one replied, There was pin drop silence as far as I could hear, All I heard was buzzing of the tube light, I somehow managed my way out of the ward through my legs which felt wobbly, maybe because of all the sedatives I had been given.

I had barely made it past door of the observation ward into the hallway and the second last vision attack occurred , A blank hallway was stuck in my mind but I could feel the corrosive heavy breathing nearby, I curled into a ball and closed my eyes waiting for the sound to go away. I shivered with fright, After all I have seen in war this was the worst experience I had ever traversed. After around half an hour, my vision changed, it was pitch black, A few minutes of darkness and the satanic noise vanished, but the attack was still in motion. I was stuck in pure blackness till it ended or till the image shifted. I decided to crawl to the door at the end of the hallway which I was seeing for the last 30 minutes. I somehow managed to make it to the end of the hall and opened the door, The attack subsided and I was in the open again. I decided that I needed to go back to my apartment and call your department. I sensed that something wrong was going on here. It seemed like the entire campus staff , around 250 people were assimilated near my living quarters , the building was on fire. That is when the final attack occurred , I saw the flashes of visage again, but it stabilised, The face that I saw in all the flashes became clear, I is the face of the spectre that haunts me. or at least what this institute wants me to think that haunts me.

“That does not explained the clawed out eyes”

“What do you do when you see something so despicable that you cannot bear to see it, you close your eyes, I closed them, nothing happened I can still see the face clear as the day, In fit of panic I clawed them out in middle of the crowd and still nothing happened, The image of my haunt was permanently stored in my mind , and I am doomed to see it till eternity or until this vision attack ends, which again might be an eternity, The institute thinks I have gone insane ,well that is what they tell me and that is why I am confined in this padded cell, Want to guess whose face I am staring at?”

“Sophia?”

“Hah, so I was correct, You knowing her name is an indication enough that you all are in this together, her existence is a closely guarded secret. You all planned this together didn’t you, I am just one of your experiments now”

“You mentioned her name in your testimony right now”

“No I did not! I spent the time from which I was confined here: the entire Sunday, rehearsing what happened to me, just to get to know if you all are involved in this together or not. I was suspicious from the beginning. I wasn’t brought here to be treated, I was brought here to be experimented on, those drug cocktails, those tests, those hypnotherapy sessions, that is when you conducted your experiments on me,right? Those Vision attacks are your manifestations , And that operation to check my brain, that was just to plant Lea’s image in my head,right? I recognise that image now, it was the image on her military Identification. Do you know how difficult it is for me to keep up this calm demeanour when I have her staring at me in my mind?”

“Military Identification of a traitor, you seem to be very clever, maybe that is why you are a war hero”

“ Is this what you do to your heroes? Turn them into lab rats? I even sacrificed her for this nation. After all that I just wanted to go back to live a quiet life and repent her death. ”

“ You pledged you life to the nation. Didn’t you? You are a very sensitive asset that we cannot risk letting loose in public. You should be grateful that we did not shoot you down after your debriefing. The Leader is very open hearted in his ways.”

“You are all bastards, you are all inhumane bastards, You even got a fake spectre to haunt me”

“It is ironic that you are calling us inhumane, As for the spectre I have no idea what you are talking about, you might be hallucinating”

“Stop it, stop toying with me, stop with all the lying. I know that she is in this room I can still hear her breathing.Let me die please, I cannot see her face any longer, I cannot bear the guilt.”

“I think we are done here. Your motherland thanks for your service again soldier as a reward to your services you will be rewarded with death today evening. Dr Müller ,thank you for the supervising the entire programme, it seems like out procedure is a success . I will put in a good word for you at the high command, Please make sure that you do the necessary, harvest the required. I will be needing some quarters for a short nap, After which you will brief me about the discoveries. Also arranged a secure line for me to the capital. We have some damning documents to released.”

The session ended at 2114 hours. The subject 7AH was moved to the cleansing facility for sterilisation at 2134 hours. The interaction of results between the esteemed Chairman of the Department of Science and Physiology and the honoured Facility Director can be found in file 7AH8D.