Our Transfers, Captains, and Starting 11s.

WALSH

Transfers:

Mane out Coutinho in

With two frees I spent the week as though I were on wildcard tinkering like a mental patient. In the end, though, I did what we discussed on the pod. Mane out Coutinho in. It seems objectively insane to get rid of Mane in a home captainable fixture but I’m going to just free up .3 and get the one who has insanely high ownership. The African Cup of Nations is still a little ways away but it will be nice not to have to deal with Mane later and as good as Mane has been Cout’s stats are maybe best in the game. Feels very calming and safe to have him in after being terrified of every Liverpool corner kick etc. the past month or so. I have other problems in my squad that appear more pressing but I will roll my other transfer so I have two frees next week again.

GK: Fuckford is back in my good graces after Sundy finally kept a clean this past weekend. Hopefully he ends up on 3 or 4 points with a million save points in a dismantling at Liverpool. Maybe he can even save a pen15 from Hames.

DEF: This weekend marks the first weekend of the season I am not running out a 343 formation. Looks and feels odd. Fuchs, Clyne, Holy Bass, and Van Dick all go for me. Each of these boys has a pretty reasonable home fixture not to mention attacking intent. Objectively speaking, if I can get two cleans and one attacking return out of them it would be a very nice job. Fuchs and Clyne are on short leashes and I have an eye towards turning them into Alonso and someone cheaper as soon as possible. Very happy with Van Dick though - never owned him before as I have always opted for one of the fullbacks last season - but he is a pleasure to watch and will be extremely pleased to watch his first headed goal go in of the season hopefully soon.

MID: Just three lads here this weekend: Cout, Firmino, and Walcott. The Liverpool boys will hopefully both bag double digit hauls in one of their best fixtures of the season. I am hoping Klopp doesn’t fuck with the front three and rolls them back out instead of giving Danny a start and dropping Phil a bit deeper. Theo is starting to be a little troublesome as he hasn’t looked good or had a return in ages. If he has another dour performance he might turn into Siggy to free up the last little bits of money I need to get Kane in for Bookaku. Massive game for him in my squad as he is essentially playing for his place. Gundy I will be hiding. Insanely uncertain over his starting place with Yaya back in the fray he simply cannot be trusted. They have too many central midfielders it is impossible to predict who Pep will start. He’s also on the short list to go and I was VERY close to firing on Gundy to Snoddy but I just didn’t feel too good about any of the 5.5ish midfielders. Going to postpone that for a later date.

FWD: Kun, Bookaku, and Costa. Have been running this trio out for a while now and results have been positive. The run is up though and I have positioned myself to do Lukaku to Kane next week which is essentially written in stone. The only question is who will make way to free up the remaining .2 I need. After discussion over Kun on the pod and his worth, I have decided that I will keep Kun unless he gets injured. He’s too sexy.

Captain: Cout or Bobby. I am still going back and forth. I’ve got it on Phil right now but I am not 100% certain yet. If Danny does start as I have seen some rumblings about I would be pissed to have not capped Bobby over Phil. But, Klopp has been completely unwilling to give Danny a start in the League and he might have to wait until Mane is off in Africa before getting a string. He seems very happy with the way the front three are playing so I am feeling he will keep the same dudes. I’ll probably stick on Phil. He will likely be the highest percent capped player this weekend and I don’t mind following the herd in this moment. Hopefully he fucking smashes it.

ALON

Transfers:

Lukaku out and Diego! Diego! Diego! in

It’s time. Rom out Costa in. Dropping Rom before a bad stretch of 9 fixtures (sot, MUN, wat, ARS, LIV, lei, hul, SOT, MCI) feels safe, I don’t think he can burn me too much despite ridiculously high ownership. Meanwhile Diego and Chelsea, fuck. They’ve been steadily burning me for weeks and I need to try to mitigate things in this moment.

Diego cannot be stopped and despite an on paper bad fixture vs Spurs, no Rose/Davies/Toby makes it a lot less daunting of a fixture for me… I have other areas that need addressing - Gundo and some shitty defensive picks - but at least now I won’t want to kill myself while watching any Chelsea match as they destroy everything.

GK: Sticking with Prince Lee, Duke of Grant. Maybe I can take one more ride on the Lee Grant train? Or maybe Butland relegates him to the Championship for the rest of his career… not sure? I’m hoping I can get one more start from Grant at Watford as Fuckford, my other option, is at Anfield and probably gonna allow six dongs.

DEF: I’m hiding Gundowagon on my bench this week so I’m rolling out a dickfuck 4-3-3 lineup. At least on paper my defenders all have great fixtures. I’ll probably get one clean, two blanks, and one yellow card zero pointer. Fucking fuck me. Koscielny home Bourne, Cholebas home Potters, Matip home Sundy, and King Kolarov at Turf Moh.

MID: Only three friends this week :(… Couple of Scousers, as usual, hopefully putting shitty as fuck Sunderland to the sword via double digit hauls for both Coutinho and Bobby Firm. The awkward additional wheel in my Scouse orgy is none other then bug-eyes Mesut 0000o0o0o0o0ozil. Home Bourney I expect some 3-0 type thing from Arsenal this week in a bounce-back to form… Maybe I can get a brace of assists from Lionel Mezzy. Gundo has to be a transfer out very soon, I almost did him out for Gylfi this week but with the good defensive fixtures I figured hiding him isn’t a nightmare. But next week he’ll maybe be part of a -4 double swap or something. TBD.

FWD: Kun and Chazzy aren’t going anywhere anytime soon I don’t think but unfortunately both of them in kinda bad fixtures this week. Not captainable for me with Kun at Burnley in the early Saturday game after playing 90′ in a tough UCL game on Wednesday, and a bad foot. No thanks. And Chazzy yes home but home Everton isn’t grreeaaaattttt. I’m still happy to have’em both. Then my new friend Diego! Diego! Diego! Diego! Dog faced fucking goblin elephant man fuck. Welcome to the squad my guy. Been a while my old FPL flame.

Captain:

I’m going with Bobby Firm. He’s got the same PPG as Cout, I think it’s pretty much a tossup. And since it’s a tossup I’m going to go with Bobby Love and his touches / shots in the box. But seriously I’m not gonna waste any more breath on this because one last time, it’s a total fucking tossup. Mane might be the sexiest option of all for this week given his home form.