OTTAWA – Certain members of the Conservative caucus said they would be willing to support the motion condemning Islamophobia so long as ‘Muslims’ are defined as ‘Jews’, ‘Christians’, or any other religion other than Islam.

“In the past, the Conservative Party has taken the stance of unanimously condemning violence and bigoted acts committed against Coptic Christians in Egypt and Yazidis in Iraq,” explained interim Conservative Party Leader Rona Ambrose. “There’s so many other minorities who face discrimination. But now is not the time to single out a religion, not like we did when we banned the niqab at citizenship ceremonies or tried to create a barbaric cultural practices hotline.”

Other Conservative MPs condemned the motion as an attack of free speech, but claimed that they missed the opportunity when a similar motion condemning anti-Semitism was passed unanimously.

“There just wasn’t enough time to bring up the issue of free speech when Parliament created an Inquiry Panel to combat antisemitism and later condemned the BDS movement,” said Conservative MP Brad Trost. “But I will defend free speech in any circumstance, so long as I agree with it.”

In related news, Conservative leadership candidate Michael Chong was last seen banging his head repeatedly against his Parliamentary office’s wall.