OMAHA, NE—Encouraging his circle of close friends and family members to imagine the freedom of making money as their own boss in the growing field of personal beauty products, billionaire investor Warren Buffett hosted a party Wednesday to inform his colleagues about the exciting investment opportunities he had recently discovered in selling Mary Kay cosmetics. “An opportunity like this doesn’t come around every day—you can make good money simply selling amazing high-quality beauty solutions to your besties and your coworkers or, if you’re feeling adventurous, make new customer connections by selling door-to-door!” said the giddy Berkshire Hathaway CEO and recent addition to the Mary Kay team, addressing the roughly two dozen attendees, a collection of Fortune 500 members, and Berkshire board members who listened politely as Buffet extolled the virtues of working for the cosmetics giant and the ease of moving up the company ranks. “I’m only four recruits away from becoming a Red Jacket, which gives me a shot at earning a $50 team-building bonus. Tell you what— next week, you guys can all come over for snacks and margaritas and we’ll all sample some amazing new products!” Buffett, who many consider the master of evaluating an investment’s intrinsic value through its potential future earnings, was also reportedly pursuing a lucrative investment opportunity in It Works! fat-burning body wraps.

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