What is She Fighting Against, Really?

Some have blamed Lauryn’s relationship and family life for her career’s downward spiral—she has six children, five of them with longtime partner Rohan Marley (Bob’s son). And sure, it’s not uncommon for someone’s priorities to change when they start a family, but I don’t buy it. Having a child was the inspiration for one of her greatest songs, “To Zion,” and if she’d accomplished enough in her career and wanted to devote her life to her family, more power to her. That would be an honorable choice.

Lauryn Hill and Rohan Marley have five children together

But much of Hill’s fade from the mainstream seems to have to do with some vague protest of authority, the media and other institutional forces. When she shut down her non-profit Refugee Project, aimed at helping urban youth, she reportedly made the following statement:

“I had a nonprofit organization and I had to shut all that down. You know, smiling with big checks, obligatory things, not having things come from a place of passion. That’s slavery. Everything we do should be a result of our gratitude for what God has done for us. It should be passionate.”

Making obligatory appearances for your charitable organization is equivalent to slavery?

Then there was a report by People magazine that during a short-lived reunion with The Fugees in 2005, she demanded to be called Ms. Hill and thought about changing her name to Empress. Not exactly the attitude of a grounded mother who doesn’t care about fame. There has also been speculation about drug use because of her extreme statements, and bizarre stage performances and cancellations due to “health reasons.”

Her erratic behavior, paranoia and overt religious fixation (reportedly attending Bible study five days a week during her post-Miseducation hiatus), though, suggest something more akin to mental illness or at least anguish. Marley once described her writing music “in the bathroom, on toilet paper, on the wall. She writes it in the mirror if the mirror smokes up.”

This irrational side of her was played out most tangibly in her refusal to pay taxes. She was charged with tax evasion in 2012 for failing to pay $1.8 million in federal taxes, and in 2013, she served three months in prison for it. And her recent spate of tours, even if the performances have been getting better, can’t help but seem like a money grab.

She wrote a lengthy post on Tumblr before going to prison about the various historical abuses that have occurred, the hypocrisy of the IRS, the “terror” of the system. Whether or not she has a point seems sort of unrelated to her own personal story. She’s a beloved artist from middle-class New Jersey.

What is she so mad about, and why hasn’t she been able to channel it into a coherent musical statement? That kind of emotion should inspire something big and important. It would be great to hear. I’d still be thrilled if she somehow generated a new work of genius. I really don’t care about her public statements or even her indiscretions with the law (certainly other artists are guilty of far worse). I just want the music.

But after all these years I can only assume she’s either not willing or not capable. And so I’ve decided to stop caring.