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No, Pinocchio

The following preview has been approved for all audiences.

We see a shot of Geppetto putting the finishing touches on his most recent doll.

Geppetto: I shall call you "Pinocchio"!

Cheerful music begins to play.

Voice Over: This is the story of a doll, who comes to life...

Shot of Pinocchio moving on his own.

Geppetto: It's a miracle!

The music turns ominous.

Voice Over: ... only to bring death to anyone who gets in his way.

Shot of Geppetto standing at the edge of cliff. His feet are halfway over and he's struggling to keep his balance. Pinocchio stands in front of him.

Geppetto: Are you trying to kill me, Pinocchio?

Pinocchio: No.

Pinocchio's nose grows just a little longer, nudging Geppetto and sending him plummeting over the edge.

Geppetto: NOOOOO, PINOCCHIOOOOOO!

Voice Over: and now it's up to detectives Jack and Jill to stop him...

A shot of Jack and Jill looking over crime photographs.

Jill: Look it those bruises. It appears the murder weapon was a wooden nose.

Jack: Wooden nose? What, are we in some kinda fairytale?

Jill: People are getting killed by a psycho, Jack. That ain't happened in no fairytale I ever read.

Voice Over: And they'll have to solve the case...

Jack and Jill in a diner.

Jack: Look, so his nose gets bigger when he lies, right? Well, what if we get him to say something that isn't quite a lie and isn't quite the truth?

Jill: Interesting idea.

Voice Over: ... before...

Shot of Jill at home, on the phone.

Jack: (on the other end of the line) He's there! He's in your house!

Jill: What?

Just then the call goes dead.

Voice Over: ...it's too late!

Jill alone in her house.

Jill: Hello?

We hear the sound of tiny wooden feet scurrying behind her.

Voice Over: This summer, be careful who you believe.

TITLE SCREEN: No, Pinocchio

Rated R.

Wear this shirt: if there are eleven words in this sentence.

Don't wear this shirt: to take a test where most of the questions are true or false.

This shirt tells the world: "Let's agree to disagree."

We call this color: a silver bullet to the heart of logic.

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