Summer is just around the corner, which means it’s almost time to hang out at one of Milwaukee’s best summer hangouts, Kopp’s Frozen Custard. (Any location will do!) Also just around the corner: Father’s Day, which means it’s almost time to hang out with dear old dad. (Any dad will do!) But what would happen if you combined the two? What would happen if, say, Kopp’s whipped up a special Father’s Day custard and added it to their monthly “Flavor Preview”? What would this special Father’s Day custard be called? What would be in it? How would it be tailored to meet and/or exceed the high custard standards of area dads?

Dear readers, we now know the answers to these questions. Thanks to an eagle-eyed friend of Milwaukee Record, we know that Kopp’s HAS whipped up a special Father’s Day custard. And, more importantly, we know what it’s called. It’s called…

“Nuts For Daddy.”

Behold this flyer from the Greenfield Kopp’s…

“Nuts For Daddy.” Nuts. For. Daddy. Please tell us we’re not the only ones who find this funny. Please tell us we’re not the only ones who can’t stop giggling. Please tell us we’re not the only ones who think this is the silliest, most delightful thing since Ed Ames threw a tomahawk at a wooden crotch and Johnny Carson made some “couldn’t-say-that-in-2019” jokes about it on The Tonight Show.

Nuts. For. Daddy. Not even “Nuts For Dad.” No, it’s “Nuts For Daddy.” Incredible.

There’s so much to unpack here. Let’s start with an obvious question: Why is Kopp’s special Father’s Day custard called “Nuts For Daddy”? Well…

1. It’s got nuts in it! A LOT OF NUTS. And by A LOT OF NUTS we mean beer nuts, beer nuts, and more beer nuts, apparently. Dads like beer nuts! Thus, “Nuts For Daddy”!

2. It’s another way of saying “We’re crazy about dad!” or “We’re thankful for dad!” or “We just love this guy so much that we’re taking him to Kopp’s and trying to find a place to sit on those concrete bleachers that isn’t covered in ketchup!” We’re absolutely “Nuts For Daddy”!

3. Nuts.

What else? The “special hardening chocolate”? The boast that it’s “developed specially for dads”? The fact that the other flavor for June 16 is “Pretzels & Beer”? A turtle sundae contains fudge and caramel. “Nuts For Daddy” contains multitudes.

Also, a cursory Google search that we should have done before we started writing this reveals that “Nuts For Daddy” has been a Kopp’s Father’s Day special for years. The fact that we haven’t noticed until now is one of our great shames, and something that will haunt us for the rest of our days.

But whatever. Thank you, Kopp’s, for all that you do. Thank you for being a Milwaukee-area summer staple. Thank you for your incredible burgers. Thank you for your incredible custard. And thank you for “Nuts For Daddy.” Nuts. For. Daddy. Seriously: Thank you.