Day One at San Francisco Pride

My first day in San Francisco, passed rather quickly. My companions and I could hardly contain ourselves as we crossed the Oakland bridge to celebrate not only gay pride, but also the Supreme Court’s decision for marriage equality.

As we walked the streets to our first destination, the city was alive, crowded, buzzing, and full of love. When we entered the karaoke bar at around 8 p.m., it was already difficult to find seats. People — gay and straight alike — were dedicating their songs to the recent acceptance of marriage equality in the nation. There were drinks being bought for and by strangers, people were dancing and laughing as if they had known each other their whole lives, and the amount of rainbows could make a unicorn sick.

One of the first things I saw — and experienced — was how happy the atmosphere felt. I have been to San Francisco several times, and each time I have felt embraced and loved by the city. This time however, was something more.

First, on a normal pride weekend the party generally starts on Friday night. There are pre-parties, drink specials, and sometimes even performers at local bars and clubs. However, the pre-parties aren’t generally something many people attend — most folks get in late Friday night and keep it pretty low key.

Second, the Castro is generally alive with locals and new arrivals. It doesn’t take long to get into the bars, which aren’t any more crowded than on your average weekend.

And finally, although San Francisco is known as a gay mecca, the amount of rainbow flags for pride weekend tend to stand out. You can tell that they are only displayed because business owners want the pride business.

When we finally left the bar around midnight, we walked the streets to our next destination: 440 Castro. On our way, I noticed something interesting. There were little rainbow flags and stickers attached to all of the hotdog vendor carts along the street. It was as though the entire city was celebrating.

It took us roughly 30 minutes to get into the club and once we were inside, it was difficult to navigate. The bar was packed from wall to wall with big, beefy, hairy men — my favorite. However to be honest, in my past experiences, this particular bar had been somewhat cliquey. Most of the guys there are locals who know each other and they tend to stay together. But on this night, there were no barriers, no walls that stopped people from communicating. This night, we were all family.

And as the night wore on, I laughed, danced, and loved in a way I never had before. For once I felt equal in the eyes of the law. The men and women who I met were kind and loving in the best possible way. We talked about our lives, how we came out, what we had done to further the cause for equality.

We ended the night at a diner and sat at a long table with strangers who needed a place to sit. It was as if we were distant relatives seeing each other for the first time.

I sat next to a woman who was roughly 56. She was there with her wife and their best friend. She introduced herself simply as Frida. She told me that she had lived in Tennessee her whole life, and what she had experienced as a queer woman.

For her, coming out was difficult. Her family were part of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints — Mormons. She struggled immensely with her sexuality and gender identity growing up. This was her first pride although she and her wife had gotten married in New York a year ago and had been together for nearly 20 years.

She heard the ruling on marriage equality as she got off the plane at SFO. Frida said that the moment she received the text from a friend, she got down and prayed. She prayed to God in thanks for the decision. She prayed for her people accross the nation who were now able to marry the person they loved. And she prayed for all those growing up, that they would see how accepted and loved they are.

We arrived home around 4 a.m. and were dead tired. As we washed the night from our faces and settled into bed, I felt something in my pocket. At first I was confused because I didn’t remember putting anything in there. But as I pulled out my hand I saw a small, scribbled note. It was from Frida, and it read:

“Do not be afraid to love, do not be afraid to be you. I, we are your family. We love you, and we want you to be happy. Now pass it on, and share it with ‘the people who you love.”

This represented exactly what Pride is about. This is what San Francisco has given me. Tomorrow, I will be sailing in the bay with my friend’s two uncles. They are madly in love and overflowing with kindness. For me, that is what marriage means; commitment to the one you love, and a plethora of kindness and love for all those around you. Happy pride my friends.