If a decision goes against the intent of Brexit, there is no-one left from Vote Leave to show Theresa May the consequences

I remember dancing into bed at 6am after we voted to Leave the EU, never feeling more proud of our country. Proud of our wish to self-govern, buoyed by the spirit which united us, triumphant our voices had shouted down the biased media who told us to Remain.

But two months on the hangover from the following morning still hasn’t cleared. Sometimes it seems we’re still lying on the cool bathroom floor, gasping for full-fat coke and a bacon sandwich. Brexit paralysis has set in. And it’s hard to shake.

Almost nothing seems to have happened. The frustration is palpable.

One the one hand, you can look on the bright side and celebrate because Vote Leave has been proven right and the Remoaners have been left red-faced by their nonsense.

They said share prices would crash, the financial markets would collapse, and people would be queuing in the dark for sugar and butter as the cold hand of recession drove us back into abject poverty.

The High Streets would be empty, deserted landscapes, void of life, totally Fukushima’d.

Osborne told us we would need an emergency budget to plug a £40billion black hole in the public finances caused by a plunging economy.

Vote Leave: I remember dancing into bed at 6am after we voted to Leave the EU, never feeling more proud of our country

Quite the opposite is true.

The emergency budget has been swept away on a wave of unexpected income, and Osborne along with it.

Share prices have rallied and are now close to a record high. And the High Street has never looked so busy — in July sales were up 1.7 per cent.

Doom-mongers predicted a July rise of 9,000 unemployment claimants as businesses purged their staff. In fact, there were 8,600 fewer claimants that month.

As proud Brexiteers we could claim this to be a success. See, we were right all along! You Remainers were wrong. We won.

Shocked at defeat: You can look on the bright side and celebrate because Vote Leave has been proven right and the Remoaners have been left red-faced by their nonsense

Except there is an easy retort to this argument, isn’t there? An argument which only stacks up as far as the front door of the Club of the Smug, and won’t get you past the awkward doorman pointing out that… Brexit has not actually happened.

There has been no fundamental shift in our relationship with the EU. Article 50 is about as triggered as a student in a safe space.

Nigel Farage has even threatened to wade back into the fray if Vote Leave fails to act

Nothing has actually happened. Nada. We are in a state of paralysis. Stunned into inactivity. Thrombosis is setting in.

And it’s painful to be a part of.

Theresa may not invoke Article 50 until she is ready. Europe won’t start negotiations until we have triggered Article 50. And the two sides of this tug-of-war are bolstered in number by awkward Remainders and determined Brexiteers.

Remainers want to thwart the whole process, to stall for long enough that it never happens, to reverse the democratic will of the 52 per cent of their countrymen and women whom they regard as too stupid or too racist to deserve a voice.

Brexiteers are pulling the other way. Nigel Farage has even threatened to wade back into the fray if Vote Leave fails to act. Even though he ripped out his own voice box when he resigned for a second time. The man is now, at best, an impotent boomerang with a very silly moustache.

Having collapsed as they crossed the finish line on June 23, the Vote Leavers no longer exert any real pressure and Brexit risks being moulded entirely by its enemies. If a decision goes against the intent of Brexit, there is no-one left from Vote Leave to show Theresa May the consequences.

Theresa may not invoke Article 50 until she is ready. Europe won’t start negotiations until we have triggered Article 50. And the two sides of this tug-of-war are bolstered in number by awkward Remainders and determined Brexiteers

And whilst this tug of war continues, the machinery of government has its own ways of turning the cogs more slowly. Stalling the engine of change. Adding friction to labour the process.

Remainers want to thwart the whole process, to stall for long enough that it never happens

David Davis, the Secretary of State for Brexit, had hoped for a team of 200 people in his department. Permanent Secretaries in the Civil Service have been heard boasting how they are preventing their best talent from being seconded to assist him with his agenda. He has just 50 per cent of the team he will need.

The Civil Service is fighting Brexit from the inside.

And in France and Germany, national elections are tugging the rope away from Brexit. Pausing to find out who will lead the two most powerful countries in the EU is critical to the success of our negotiations.

David Davis, the Secretary of State for Brexit, had hoped for a team of 200 people in his department. He has just 50 per cent of the team he will need

We have reached an impasse. A state of paralysis that threatens to turn into a persistent vegetative state.

So what now for Brexit? How do we take this paralysed patient and encourage it to get up off the finishing line where it fell?

Forcing through Article 50 is not the answer, no matter how we stamp our feet and demand this. With all these unknowns at play, we are shouting at a wall.

The simple solution, no matter how unpalatable it sounds, is for the two-year time limit negotiations once Article 50 has been triggered to be lifted.

It runs against every sinew in my body. I am a private sector animal at heart. My timelines are usually counted in hours. The idea of giving bureaucrats more time in which to dither seems ludicrous. Paying people who love to talk to have more meetings in which to waste more precious time will not help get anything done.

But hear me out.

As it stands, we have control over when to start exit talks but no control over when they stop. It’s an unpalatable recipe for extended paralysis and pointless dispute.

If you lift the two-year time limit on negotiations, Article 50 could be triggered immediately.

As it stands, we have control over when to start exit talks but no control over when they stop. It’s an unpalatable recipe for extended paralysis and pointless dispute

Europe would be clear about our intent and the Remainders would understand that the will of the people trumps all other considerations.

If the deadline for Article 50 were extended, Europe would get the clarity it desperately wants, and Brexit would be underway, enabling us to negotiate new trade deals with the rest of the world.

Of course, both sides would also lose something. Europe would lose the blunt bargaining power that talking with a hard stop demands. Britain would lose its ability to dither and sit on the fence; Britain would lose the ability to remain.