1. What kind of drunk are you?

2. Will you steal tiny amounts of food from me and think that I won’t notice?

3. Are you going to eat all of my peanut butter and force me to only eat jelly sandwiches?

4. Will you drink my Lagunitas and pretend that Budweiser is a fair trade?

5. Will you steal my shampoo and fill it up with water?

6. Will you steal my Vodka and fill it with water?

7. Will you dump out my water bottle and fill it with Vodka?

8. Are you a compulsive liar?

9. Is your current and future boyfriend/girlfriend/hook up also going to live with us without paying rent?

10. Are you going to leave them at our apartment when you go to work?

11. Will they know the difference between your food and mine?

12. Are they going to try and become my friend?

13. Are you going to AirBNB your room without telling me about it?

14. Will you furnish our apartment with dumpster furniture?

15. If I’m gone for a week, will I find a body in the closet?

16. Do you have friends?

17. Will your cat pee in my shoes?

18. Would you borrow my underwear and not tell me?

19. Will you use my razor/shaver for your butt and bikini line?

20. On really hot days, do you intend to wear clothes?

21. Will I come home to find smoke issuing through the cracks from the front door with a towel lining ground?

22. How likely is it that my phone will ring at four in the morning with you on the line asking to help you out with bail?

23. Have you ever left a dish out in the kitchen so long it created life?

24. Are you going to leave it mellow if it’s yellow?

25. Do you collect porcelain dolls?