It’s no secret that many other offbeat women have this problem. Either they have very few friends in general, or they have an overabundance of guy friends. It’s not that they don’t like other girls — they don’t want all of their friends to be guys, but it’s just not happening for whatever reason. Well, it turns out these reasons are actually not as mysterious as they may seem.

As a lady who has had some trouble making female friends over the years, I’m not going to pass myself off as any sort of expert in this arena. But I can say that I have a few close female friends, and can easily identify mannerisms that help make (or break) friendships with fellow women.

So, here are 5 things that are keeping you from making friends with women (that you should stop doing):

1. You expect them to do all the work.

When’s the last time you invited someone over who seemed cool? What about the last time you asked someone for their contact info? If you can’t remember, you’re definitely guilty of this. Remember that friendships are a two-way street, and if you’re used to putting forth very little effort with male friends, you’ve probably gotten spoiled. Step up to the plate and be the initiator, woman!

2. You don’t share secrets.

No, I’m not suggesting that you share other people’s secrets. I’m talking about your own secrets. Yes, gossip about yourself! After all, it feels good when others share personal stories or facts with us, right? It helps us bond with them. You don’t have to tell someone your life story (actually, please don’t), but don’t be afraid to open up and share something personal with a new friend. Trust a little. Let go. It’s a way of showing respect, and it shows that you’re willing to open up under the right circumstances.

3. You’re highly reserved.

Do you find yourself turning down invitation after invitation? Well then, you enjoy your alone time…maybe even a little too much. Newsflash: you won’t make friends watching reruns of The Walking Dead all day. Sometimes we have to step outside of our comfort zones and introduce ourselves to new people (which could be said for making friends in general — male or female).

4. You treat women differently than men.

If you’re accustomed to having mostly male friends, you might be subconsciously acting differently around the women you meet. Pay attention to your mannerisms the next time you’re in a group setting. You may find that you tend to express more interest in the men of the group, while completely ignoring the women (without even being aware of it)! Come on, don’t be that girl. Give the ladies a chance, too. Get to know them and ask (good) questions.

5. You don’t communicate in the right ways.

I know that it’s a total stereotype, but in my experience, it really does seem as though women want more frequent communication than men. With many dude friends, you can go quite a while without communicating, and the next time you see them things are great. And there’s sort of a mutual understanding that communication in between hangouts isn’t always necessary. With female friends, though, I’ve found that I tend to keep in touch even when we’re not hanging out in-person. This definitely seems to be much more common in friendships with women, at least in my experience.

Do you have anything to add? Share your thoughts with us!