Michael Oliver has confirmed that his hand was broken during a post-match shake with Pep Guardiola at Anfield last night. The Premier League referee will undergo surgery tomorrow at The Royal London Hospital.

Die

“If he dies, he dies,” Guardiola told Soccer on Sunday. “There is always a danger with anaesthetics, no? Maybe that would be justice for certain crimes. Would I take a shit on Mr Oliver’s grave? Now is not the time for those decisions. He is alive at this moment, so there is no grave. If there is a grave in the future, then we will analyse the situation.”

“The handball?” added the former Barcelona manager. “I’m over it. People think because I haven’t blinked in 24 hours and slept standing up last night that I am tense. Believe me, I am so relaxed. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to find John Stones and tell him he’s shite.”