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What do you call it when the fix is in, but the fixers are sufficiently inept that they couldn’t rig a one-car funeral?

That’s one of the bottom lines of Ontario Integrity Commissioner J. David Wake’s lengthy report on the role of Premier Doug Ford in the now-dead-in-the-water appointment of his long-time friend, Toronto Police Supt. Ron Taverner, as OPP Commissioner.

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The 72-year-old Taverner was appointed to the big job on Nov. 29.

Given the pair’s well-known friendship, and that the excellent iPolitics reporter Marieke Walsh spotted a change in the job ad that broadened the qualifications in a way that had allowed Taverner to apply — this was what really lifted the lid on the sucker — the proverbial dung hit the fan almost immediately.

Amid the ruckus, the appointment was temporarily rescinded on Dec. 15 pending Wake’s investigation, and on March 6, Taverner withdrew his name from consideration.