Please forgive the length. It’s my first post at Tumblr and I guess I had a lot to say. This contains a s9 spoiler but as TPTB have been pushing it since the night of the taping I feel it’s okay to discuss.

There’s been a few things that have bothered me about The Big Bang Theory, but it took the events in season nine to bring them into focus. With Sheldon and Amy uniting and sealing the deal with coitus, so the door closes on what once was—a show about four nerdy friends and their worldly neighbour (and I use ‘nerd’ as a descriptive value only, although I do consider myself a nerd so I don’t particularly see it as an insult). Now some would argue that, after eight seasons, some kind of change is necessary to keep the show fresh. That might be true if the show hadn’t established such a dynamic mix of writing and acting in the early years. The plotlines were truly inspired and ran the gamut from Mystic Warlords of Ka'a to locating the America’s Next Top Model house. But what was truly the writers’ crowning achievement was the creation of Sheldon Cooper.

From the moment he explained the significance of his Spot, “In the winter that seat is close enough to the radiator to remain warm, and yet not so close as to cause perspiration. In the summer it’s directly in the path of a cross breeze created by open windows there, and there. It faces the television at an angle that is neither direct, thus discouraging conversation, nor so far wide to create a parallax distortion” (1.01), Sheldon took my heart. Penny nailed it right on the head when she called him a “beautiful mind genius guy”. He has an eidetic memory, an IQ of at least 187, went to university at age 11, earned his first PHD at 14, his second at 20. He is “one of the great minds of the 21st century” (1.04) who managed to reconcile the black hole information paradox with his theory of string-network condensates (2.06).

Sheldon was the Spock of the show, offering an outsider’s observation of the follies Leonard, Raj and Howard did in pursuit of mainstream social acceptance and a girlfriend. Watching Leonard willing to give up his collectibles for a shot at Penny even though she was oblivious to him as a romantic suitor (1.14) only reinforced Sheldon’s resolve “that social relationships will continue to baffle and repulse me” (1.12). His passions lay in trying to unravel the mysteries of the universe, Spock and comic books and, unlike Leonard, he felt no embarrassment in admitting to Penny that they spent Tuesday night with Raj and Howard playing Klingon Boggle (1.01). Without even trying, Sheldon became the King of the Nerds, his alpha-personality dominating the group and making him impossible for television viewers like me to ignore. He marched to his own drummer and made my tuning into the show an “Anything Can Happen” experience.

And then with a prank dating site ad came Amy Farrah Fowler.

Amy was introduced as being Sheldon’s perfect match (3.23), although Sheldon was adamant that, “She’s not my girlfriend. She’s a girl and she’s my friend, but there’s no touching or unsanitary exchange of saliva” (4.03). What they shared was a “relationship of the mind” (5.08), as they texted and tweeted words of the day, corny science puns and other intellectual exchanges. “By any standard, Amy is more similar to me than anyone I’ve ever met,” (4.03) said Sheldon and Amy’s declaration that she found “the notion of romantic love to be an unnecessary cultural construct that adds no value to human relationships” (4.05) confirmed that the Shamy were a match.

Their friendship was unfathomable to Sheldon’s friends as it was quirky to the point of being alien. They could 'hang out’ together for hours without interacting with each other, contemplate procreating with fertility experts in a lab with petri dishes for the purpose of creating “the first in a line of intellectually superior, benign overlords to guide humanity to a brighter tomorrow” (4.01), and plot and execute social experiments on his friends (4.20).

Then season five brought a major change in Amy, as she spontaneously developed an amorous attraction for Sheldon. All of a sudden Sheldon became a “kinda-sorta boyfriend” (5.03) and Amy found herself “craving human intimacy and physical contact” (5.08). This wasn’t a one-time occasion either, as in the next episode she grumbled that Sheldon showed more affection for a bird than her: “Guess you gotta have hollow bones to get some sugar around here” (5.09).

This was all particularly jarring because I had no idea where this was coming from. As far as I knew, Sheldon and Amy had a relationship of the mind and the next moment Sheldon’s concerned that Amy and Stuart “may be having more pumpkin lattes or intercourse tonight” (5.10). Without seeing the continuity, the switch from great friends to boyfriend/girlfriend appeared to me as being abrupt and meant major character revisions for both.

There was an attempt to maintain the illusion of a pre-amour Sheldon with his insistence that he would not object to Amy being his girlfriend so long as “nothing changes whatsoever, physical or otherwise” in their relationship.

But things did change, the most obvious was Amy’s pressing need for a physical relationship and Sheldon’s reluctance, but there was a more sinister change—Amy started knocking Sheldon about his hobbies. First it’s trains (“I have a kinda-sorta boyfriend who’s playing with a model train right now, you don’t hear me bitching about that” 5.03) and then comic books (“Sheldon, I’m disappointed. As a brilliant man, you’re entitled to a vice. I could understand frequenting an opium den or hunting your fellow man for sport. But this? Lame-o” 5.10). Since Amy and Sheldon had texted, tweeted and emailed each other daily from the moment they met they had to know an awful lot about each other’s lives. She knew that he was “a bit of a left-handed monkey-wrench” (5.05), even accepting the fact that he had a list of mortal enemies, but as soon as the romance card came into play his interests were singled out and ridiculed. This is an absolute betrayal to the friendship Amy and Sheldon had; of all his friends she was the only one to not call him crazy or a whackadoodle. She accepted him, made him laugh. They had a real connection and now in one fell swoop they’d become the stereo-typed sitcom hen-pecked, woman is always right, couple.

This is what’s at the heart of my disapproval, the idea that someone who was admired by critics and viewers alike for being so wonderfully unique could be reduced to the ordinary and the quirks and interests that made Sheldon Sheldon are dismissed just because he’s in a relationship. In fact, the same fate has happened to the other rebel on the show, Howard Wolowitz. It wasn’t enough for Howard and Sheldon to be depicted in the confines of ordinary romantic 'bliss’, they had to renounce their former selves: Howard: “But what I really want her to know is the guy that she’s disgusted by, is the guy that I’m disgusted by, too. But that guy doesn’t exist anymore, he’s gone, and the reason is because of her” (5.22); Sheldon: “I was living like half a man. Then I couldn’t love but now I can. You pick me up when I’m feeling sad. More soul than I ever did have.” (9.10).

The message that I got from this is that how Sheldon and Howard lived was wrong on a level that was so fundamental to their being that nothing less than a complete rewrite was needed. A complete renunciation.

And it’s a message that I, who watched the show through the first four seasons and loved the cheekiness and geekiness, science and comradery, have taken to heart. It’s saying that everything that connected me to this show was wrong and vile enough to be refuted and that, by extension, perhaps I should reflect on my own life as I share a similar existence of gaming and love of Doctor Who and comic books. That there’s something wrong with me because never for a moment did I think that Sheldon was half a man. He was Homo Novus!

Not to say that I wasn’t warned about this turn of events. For years, yes, even in the early years of the show, people on Facebook, blogs, forums, etcetera, have pointed out that the show was not laughing with the nerds, but at them. No matter how much the creators and showrunners might swear that the show celebrated diversity and nerd culture, the fact of the matter is that jokes were structured where the punchline was Sheldon happily saying 'Dungeons & Dragons’ when Howard, Raj and Leonard talk about having a wild and crazy night (6.23). I chose to push past these slights and continued with the general gist that my foursome were the heroes of this mighty quest called life. But then came the episode of infamy, The Bakersfield Expedition (6.13), where the guys experienced adversity in the form of a person throwing garbage at them and calling them nerds, a police officer suggesting that he should call their mothers, and weird looks from a diner full of people. Sheldon’s reaction was offensive to hear: “We’re an imaginary landing party who had real-life garbage thrown at us by real-life strangers who think we’re idiots. And to tell you the truth, I’m starting to feel like one. I want to go home now,” because it told people who like cosplay that they were idiots for doing what they did and that other people’s judgements matter.

This, from the show that made a point of attending San Diego Comic Con every year? How the writers and creators put out an episode like this and simultaneously go to the convention waving the flag of, 'we’re a nerd positive show so like us’ shows an incredible disconnect and disrespect for the fans. It was our love for paintball and Halo and Mystic Warlords of Ka'a and Klingon Boggle and Secret Agent Laser Obstacle Chess that got them a growing fan base needed for syndication, not a bunch of angsty viewers looking to live their romantic fantasies, and yet we’ve been relegated to the past. I mean, geez, at least our stuff was funny!

Given the backgrounds Sheldon, Leonard, Howard and Raj offer, they had their science and hobbies like Dungeons & Dragons, comic books and video games which functioned as outlets in order to dream and explore and grow while at the same time escape bullies and dysfunctional home lives. By the writers having removed the counterbalance to the show, i.e. the push for acceptance of the individual, the message is sent that roleplaying games and comic books and building model rockets are things that we nerds do because we can’t get a girlfriend/boyfriend, because the moment we get one we all grow up and put these things aside. Or in other words, nerd-dom is a phase that is incompatible with their notion of what constitutes adulthood.

That’s why it was critical that Sheldon was the one who dismissed their Star Trek costumes, the man who regimented his life around events such as Comic Book Wednesdays and Vintage Video Game Fridays. It’s why Sheldon’s turning away from Spock (9.07) signaled the end of the Sheldon Cooper I knew and loved. It showed that the writers had no clue as to Spock’s significance, making him out to be nothing more than a half-human fraudster that fooled a young Sheldon into thinking that one can exist without emotions. It showed that they don’t understand Spock and, by extension, Sheldon.

Spock always said that he didn’t have emotions but we, through Jim Kirk, knew better. Spock’s emotions were deep and powerful, which is why he practiced kolinahr. Through their friendship we got to see what true love was: Spock could appreciate Kirk’s passion without succumbing to it (most of the time), while Kirk admired Spock’s intellect (although he enjoyed teasing him). Yes, there was a chance for both to learn from each other, perhaps even influence each other, but neither asked the other to go against who they fundamentally were.

We have a similar window in which to see Sheldon’s range of emotion and her name is Penny. Penny, who made him screech into a phone when she called him 'Moonpie’ (2.17) and flash a look of death when she used all the laundry machines (2.07). Even more remarkable is that she’s the one who made Sheldon cry. His lips trembled as he gently handled the Leonard Nimoy napkin before he darted to his room to fetch her Christmas presents (2.11). Sheldon cared enough about Penny to violate his own policies and drive her to the hospital despite the threats of a fiery death and lethal germs (3.08). Like Spock and Kirk, Sheldon and Penny came to an understanding that they were of equal standing even though their talents were so opposite.

Penny is critical to Sheldon’s development as a well-rounded character because she offered him a chance to experience things beyond his world on his own terms. This is why their scenes are so memorable—they’re truly moments when worlds collide (“Penny, Penny, just to clarify because there will be a discussion when you leave, is your objection solely to our presence in the apartment while you were sleeping, or do you also object to the imposition of a new organizational paradigm.” 1.02) and we get to see how their worldviews are different without taking sides as to which one is right. Since the show has gone on to pick a side as it were, i.e. 'normalcy’ over 'individuality’, the Sheldon and Penny scenes are less frequent. This is a terrible loss, not only for the show’s humour, but also for the power of friendship. That a member of the corn queen’s court could be friends with a Star Trek loving child prodigy sends a positive message that we can be accepted for who we are, despite our differences.

Being an outsider and yet being okay with that, okay with being you, that’s what Spock was all about. It’s the lesson Sheldon took to heart and put into motion—he was unapologetically himself. He was Homo Novus, arrogant, stubborn, an alpha personality who didn’t let the trivial get in the way of what he wanted or was interested in. This is what’s crucial to understanding how Sheldon worked as a comedic element as the humour he brought was twofold: what he found trivial, such as social relationships and human contact (1.12). Added to this was what he found to be important like 8:15 laundry nights, scheduled dinners, comic books, Star Trek, sci-fi and fantasy, and anime as compared to what 'normal’ people like Penny and the general viewership value.

It could be argued that there was a third level to Sheldon’s humour which occurred when he bothered to actually take a look at what 'regular folk’ were doing. The most devastating observation came about when he called out Penny for being a hypocrite about Leonard’s 'toys’: “Little Miss 'grownups don’t play with toys’. If I were to go into that apartment right now, would I find Beanie Babies? Are you not an accumulator of Care Bears and My Little Ponies? And who is that Japanese feline I see frolicking on your shorts? Hello, Hello Kitty!” (1.14). This exchange challenged the general audience to see that action figures and other collectibles weren’t limited to nerd culture, that it was merely the subject matter that differentiated and that one wasn’t superior to the other.

Showing the commonalities helped make nerd culture more accessible and understood rather than mocked and dismissed. Big Bang Theory was at its best when it did this (Penny: “Wow, so in your world, you’re like the cool guys.” Howard: “Recognize.” 1.13), but the message got lost and ultimately abandoned as the seasons progressed. For some reason, Bernadette and Amy were not allowed to like nerd interests outside of academia and yet were presented to the guys as the only options for them if they wanted female companionship (Penny to Howard: “If you let her go, there is no way you can find anyone else. Speaking on behalf of all women, it is not gonna happen, we had a meeting” [5.16]; Amy to Sheldon: “I am the best girlfriend you’re ever gonna have” [6.15]). Perhaps this was an attempt to create more humour by setting up a dichotomy but all it did was place Sheldon and Howard in a position where they were ridiculed by those who say they love them.

The joke that the women were putting up with their child-men is cliché so it’s disappointing that the writers have chosen to rely heavily on it to depict their relationships. I know lots of people who are married, have kids, a mortgage, good job and yet like role playing games and anime. Their spouses don’t see them as being any less adult and even if they don’t participate in nerd hobbies, they don’t belittle their husbands or wives for doing so.

This is not the case for Sheldon and Howard as in the later seasons both had been reduced to little more than children. Sheldon, in particular, had managed to fulfill Amy’s description of being “a sexy toddler” (4.21). Suddenly the man who could “shoot close enough to a raccoon that it craps itself” (3.06), and create three-person chess was now chasing balloons and couldn’t maneuver himself through a revolving door without stubbing his toe and needing a teddy bear (8.09). He’s become whiny and mean-spirited and terribly egocentric. Not that he didn’t have an ample amount of pride and ego before, in fact often getting his comeuppance for succumbing to them, but that didn’t mean his entire character was foolish and mean. Sheldon was an eccentric with alternative tastes, not a child, and he marched without caring if he had a band with him or not—a wonderfully positive message sent to viewers who themselves might have felt the pressure to conform rather than be themselves.

This is why it’s painful to see Sheldon’s colourful wardrobe replaced by beige and bland 'date-night’ clothes. Cue the humour as Amy dragged Sheldon kicking and screaming into a new self-perception that he ultimately accepts as being what he wanted all along i.e. a 'real boy’ as symbolized through the act of coitus.

I’m not against Amy and Sheldon being a couple. What I am against is their being an ordinary couple. There should have been more meme theory moments (4.20), not boyfriend/girlfriend sing along nights. You don’t know how many times I wished Sheldon and Amy would “treat our relationship as if it were a crashed computer and restore it to the last point we both agree it worked” (4.21) because the last time their relationship worked was season four when they were friends who respected each other—and were funny. Amy the girlfriend is all about change, but the writers have skewed it so that it’s only for her benefit. I watched Sheldon continually deflect her sexual advances until he gave in, suggesting that she knows what he wants better than he does. This, above all else, is what is wrong with the later seasons because Sheldon has changed from the iconic character he was, not to benefit his character, but to fulfill a pitiful attempt at maudlin romance. He’s been worn down to the point where he no longer sees the wonder in Spock.

He no longer sees the wonder in himself.

Sheldon isn’t crazy, his mother had him tested. And that’s true, Sheldon isn’t crazy, he’s awesome. Right from the beginning I was in awe of him, the alien genius who loved trains and Spock and comic books. Yet for all of his bigger than life presence Sheldon was also the most delicate of the show’s creations because so much of him was shaped by how the show chose to depict individuals: when the writers were empathetic, Sheldon was king and his eccentricities knew no bounds—a veritable goldmine of humour; when they mocked them, the very same traits became stupid and contrary to the ‘adult’ plot and were thus eliminated. Gone are the Bazingas, inability to deceive, romantic disinterest and his germ phobia, and his Cooper factoids, routines and even his genius are in jeopardy. Gone, too, is the humour.

It’s a mistake to contain Sheldon within the walls of normalcy because it has caused the entire show to become boring, formulaic and not nearly as funny as it once was. I don’t want marriages and babies, I want to see a group of friends who shared similar interests and accepted each other’s eccentricities—even Sheldon’s though they didn’t understand them. They all had a shared loyalty to each other that I could see lasting into their eighties where they’d be sword-fighting with their canes.

Most of all, I want an unapologetic Sheldon whose individualism and passion are his defining attributes. He isn’t a robot and the notion that he required humanizing, in fact insisting that he was half a man, is insulting. Yes he was selfish, but he was also loyal: assisting Leonard got him pantsed by Kurt (1.01); he moved out of the apartment so as to protect Penny’s secret (2.01); and gave Raj a job to keep him in the country (3.04). He wasn’t a physical coward as he risked his life putting the rocket fuel in the elevator (3.22), and returned with Leonard to, again, confront Kurt (2.14). He stood up for Leonard against Penny’s insult about collectibles and did his best to address the wrong he did to Howard with the security clearance (4.07). Sheldon was an Other, different and unique, but he was always human, even at his most alien.

It’s why I can unabashedly say that the Sheldon Cooper of the early seasons is my Spock.

And why I can say with absolute certainty that those who work for the show don’t understand what that means.

I