In the book version, after Parzival figures out the second puzzle, he is thrown into the opening of the classic 80s flick War Games. From there, he sees the whole movie as if he were Matthew Broderick’s character and has to reenact all of the dialogue exactly as it is done in the film. It works on the page as one of those ultra-geek challenges that would definitely eliminate those not up to Halliday’s standards. On the screen, this would definitely not work and would probably be laughably dull or weird, so I knew this would have to change the moment I read it.

In the Ernest Cline script, the characters had to fight through a Dungeons and Dragons themed story and ultimately defeat an enormous dragon. I believe in his script version, there were two DnD challenges back-to-back, so it seemed redundant, but having the race as a forebear to a dragon sequence would have been great.

In the Zak Penn revision I read, the characters became a part of the movie Bladerunner and had to pass a Voigt-Kampff test in order to win the next key. This made some sense because Ernest Cline set up Halliday’s love of the movie Bladerunner and it is the pinnacle of 1980s sci-fi movies to match our overall theme. However, the Bladerunner sequence in Penn’s script is not really captivating or creative, and I could see why it would probably be Bladerunner overload with Bladerunner 2049’s release last year.

However, the choice Spielberg made to have the characters thrown into Stanley Kubrick’s The Shining was one of the strangest and most problematic choices of the entire movie. The thing is, I understand exactly why Spielberg chose The Shining. In a world where he was having a difficult time connecting with the geek obsessions of the characters, I have a feeling Spielberg wanted to add a sequence that paid homage to his own obsession — Stanley Kubrick. Why choose The Shining? I guess because it was released in 1980 and 1987’s Full Metal Jacket was too obscure. So, I understand why Spielberg made this choice, but here are some reasons it was wrong:

1. It was not in character for Halliday to be obsessed enough with The Shining to have included it in his game. Halliday was into fantasy, sci-fi, and 80s teen flicks like the John Hughes films, video games, and Billy Idol. All things that are distinctly 80s in tone and nostalgia. The Shining is not thought of as a great 80s film. It’s thought of as a great horror film, but in no way does it signify an era. In fact, none of Kubrick’s films signify an era. They are distinct Kubrickian in nature and are therefore timeless and transcend eras. If anything, they are considered far ahead of their time.

2. Kids twelve and under should NOT see this movie because of that sequence, and that is a terrible shame. An already terrifying and graphic sequence of blood pouring out of an elevator culminated in the most horrifying scene—Room 237. While they cleverly misdirected the full frontal nudity, it was still explicitly implied and not all appropriate for kids. My wife and I were so excited to be able to take our 12-year-old nephew to see this movie, who loved the book by the way, and we are heartbroken that we cannot take him because of this one sequence. He does not like scary movies and would have nightmares for months, so trust me, he himself will choose not too see it after we explain this sequence. My wife also does not like horror films and avoids them at all costs as they are extremely traumatic for her. This was billed as a fun fantasy adventure movie and all of a sudden she was forced to watch a nightmare-inducing horror sequence and she is now suffering from emotional distress and sleeplessness. Yes, these are all very personal reasons, but from a purely objective point of view, that sequence had no business being in this movie and is an awkward and abrupt tone shift.

3. The sequence culminated by becoming shockingly stupid. What was creepy and mysterious about The Shining ended up being bastardized when the ghoulish hag drew a knife and became a crazed cartoon just like that Chucky doll at the end. Spielberg took what was great about The Shining and Kubrick’s vision, and ended up turning it into a gag for cheap screams.

4. To make the sequence work, we had to buy into the fact that Aech had never seen The Shining and didn’t even know about the most famous sequences from it. This goes against her whole identity has a higher level geek than Parzival. To suggest that she should would be one of the world’s top gunters, but never saw a classic, iconic horror film of the 80s, not to mention a Kubrick masterpiece, strains credulity. Overall a great example of the word contrived.

Visually, I thought the recreation of the Overlook hotel and the scenes within were beautiful. I appreciated the aesthetics (although I did notice the carpet design was mysteriously changed… could it be a clue?), but not much else.

Ultimately, Art3mis had to leap across a chasm by bouncing off of floating, dancing zombies. I thought this might be a reference to Disney’s Haunted Mansion because it sure had nothing to do with The Shining, which is a weird way to end a Shining sequence.

She frees Halliday’s unrequited love from decades of dancing with a wretched zombie and that earns her a key. Okay. I’m still not sure what zombies had to do with anything or if they were an homage to some kind of 80s zombie, but I was just glad the set piece was over.

As we enter the second half of the film, this is where I began missing the book most of all. In the book, the characters have the final clue but do not have the slightest hint as to what it means. Art3mis has broken off contact with Wade/Parzival, partly because it compromises the integrity of the game, partly because an emotional mistake could endanger them, and partly because he was too clingy. At this point, Wade has also never met Art3mis in real life, but in the film they have already met, which was a necessary component of the movie version to set up proper stakes for the crazy plot change they are about to implement.

So, in the book and in the movie, Sorrento and Sixers reach the Third Gate first and activate the Orb of Osuvox that creates a force field that makes it so that nobody but them has access to the area. The good news is that the trials to get past the Third Gate are so difficult it takes many months (in the book) and the Sixers can’t make any headway.

The only hope for victory lies in our hero’s ability in infiltrate the force field and disable the orb.

This leads into my favorite chapters of the book. Using money he’s earned through the contest and sponsorships, Wade moves to the city and changes his identity. He locks himself in a small apartment with armored entryways and never sets foot outside for months on end so that he can be completely focused on the game and basically live in the Oasis. He deals with extreme loneliness, he pines for Art3mis, he does a lot of soul searching. He realizes the mistakes he’s made and how he might be able to fix them. But he’s also scheming. Using his new identity, he runs up a debt with IOI so that they will seize him and throw him into their slave labor program, and that’s exactly what happens. Once there, he uses his hacking skills to both set up a trap that disables the orb and allows him to escape.

The movie takes a completely different approach by having it be Art3mis who is accidentally captured by IOI and unwillingly thrown into the slave labor program, where she is aided in her escape by her friends, but then comes up with a similar plan once freed to disable the orb.

Side note: the orb is deactivated by reciting the charm of making from 1983’s Excalibur, which hardly anyone will get, but my mom is obsessed with that movie. I’m pretty sure my mom is the only one who will find that moment amusing.

So, what is the stronger choice? Having it be Parzival who infiltrates IOI intentionally or Art3mis unintentionally? I would argue that Ernest Cline’s version is the far stronger choice. In the book, infiltrating IOI is the most daring, dangerous, and possibly sacrificial act that Parzival ever makes. It’s one of the reasons that we want him to win so badly. He was willing to possibly be thrown into a slave labor camp for the rest of his life in order to free the orb for the rest of the world to take down IOI. While he luckily makes it out, he is fully aware that there was a good chance he would be a sacrificial lamb for the cause.

In the movie, Art3mis is unwillingly placed into the labor machine, so already it’s not as heroic because it’s not self sacrificial. It’s also the most precarious position a character finds themselves in in the entire movie requiring the most quick thinking and bravery and the one doing it is a supporting character, not our main character. Our main character sits in relative safety in Aech’s van, still essentially playing a video game, whereas Art3mis’s life is actually at risk. She decides to take bold action for the group when she has the opportunity for escape, but instead stays at the headquarters and masquerades as a Sixer.

At this point, the most important course events in the world is going on right in the IOI headquarters and security is ridiculously lax. So much so that Art3mis can easily enter the CEO’s office and wreak havoc without so much as having to get past a snooty secretary.

Sigh.

So, a side character has now taken the boldest action and done the most honorable deed. If we were going this far with the rewrite, they might as well have made Art3mis the main character and it could have been a lot more interesting. After all, this late teens/early 20s girl was apparently the leader of an entire rebellion (not sure what they were rebelling against though.... never explained.) and that could have been a cool story to follow.

The one moment when the movie tries to make Wade likable is when he gets punched by his Aunt’s obvious-hollywood-actor-playing-a-redneck-down-to-the-badly-painted-fake-tattoo boyfriend, but the punch doesn’t even leave a mark or scratch on him, despite the redneck being way bigger and stronger. He bounces up like he gets punched by rednecks every day and then when the drones blow up their trailer, it’s kind of hard to feel bad because the evil redneck died and his aunt was not enjoying her life anyway.

Act three of the book showcases the crucial revelation that Aech has been an African–American lesbian the entire time. In the movie she somehow finds him at the halfway point, although it’s never explained how she knew where to find him or how she knew his real identity. Maybe she’s force sensitive and just had a feeling about it? In the book their first meeting was tightly orchestrated, as it would need to be, but I guess they really had to speed things along and they assume we’ll all accept the wild coincidence of her just showing up at the perfect moment when he’s running from the IOI goons.

Back at IOI, Art3mis succeeds and now everyone in the Oasis is free to attack Castle Anorak and get through the third gate. This sequence is also being broadcast across the interwebs, so it was more than reasonable to assume the race at the beginning was also being broadcast and everyone should have seen how Parzival reversed through the back wall.

In the book it’s set up that most people in the Oasis have a cool means of transportation. Most even have a spaceship to zip around to different worlds. However, when all the gunters show up to attack the castle… they’re on foot?? There should have been thousands of crafts (at least) coming out of light speed and conducting an aerial assault, right? Anyway, as Castle Anorak is stormed, here’s where they just toss in every 80s and current reference they haven’t already shown us. We get gremlins, Chucky, Halo, Overwatch, Godzilla, the Iron Giant, and a lot more that I’m sure all of us will have fun counting when we can pause the frames on our TVs.

Sorrento activates an artifact that turns him into Mechagodzilla, Aech becomes the Iron Giant and they have a big metal fight while Parzival just sort of sneaks past the action in his car. In the book, the characters of Shaito and Daito (name changed to Sho for the movie, I think to incorporate different Asian nations and bring in more $$$) are killed by IOI. That was an important moment and helped raise the stakes, but the movie is really averse to raising the stakes and because they made Sho 11-years-old, there was no chance he was going to die. Shaito and Daito had bequeathed the amazing robo-weapon of Ultraman to Parzival, which he uses to defeat Mechagodzilla. Ultraman was the turning point of the fight in the book, but I’m guessing there were rights issues. Still, was it a better choice for Parzival to basically use the battle as a distraction to sneak into the castle, or should he have been more actively fighting Sorrento?