The DUB Show—the ultimate tuned car showcase—rolled into the Javits center for the final weekend of the New York International Auto Show. With it came a crop of tuned and slammed supercars, jacked Jeep Wranglers, deafening dubstep, blinding laser lights, bombastic unitard-clad vixens and an ever-present mist of AXE body spray. A few folks meandering through a maze of tweaked Nissan GT-Rs, Brabus G63s and race-spec Lamborghini Aventadors knew about what they spoke. The majority of visitors, though, were uninitiated, uninterested or posturing poseurs. We spent an hour listening to their musings. Here, the best whispers and shouts. (Mostly shouts. It was goddamn loud in there.) Of a stanced GT-R

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“It has to have, like, hydraulics, right?” - College Kid #1 “Yeah, I’m pretty sure they lowered it on purpose.” - College Kid #2 Of a comely Spandexed model beside a custom Ducati Scrambler “How much for the bike?” - Sideways Hat Guy “It’s not for sale, unfortunately.” - Model “How much for you?” - Sideways Hat Guy “More than you’ll ever have.” - Model Of a widebodied Ferrari 458 “I know this guy, yo!” - Teen #1 “No, you don’t.” - Teen #2 “I do. I know who owns this shit. He got mad cred. He’s from the Bronx.” - Teen #1 “This car is actually owned by a guy in Florida.” - Booth Representative “My boy got one just like it, then.” - Teen #1 Of a tracked Wrangler with a roof tent

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“It comes with a loft! Very Brooklyn.” - Guy in Plaid Of a Ducati XDiavel, with a sign marked “DO NOT SIT” “Shit. How am I supposed to Snapchat this if I can’t get on?” - College Girl Of a Brabus G63 “This one looks normal.” - Kid “I doubt it.” - Father Of an ACI Dynamix-tuned Gallardo

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“I want one.” - Husband “No.” - Wife Of a Wrangler with a 10” lift kit “It’s very affordable. If I told you this was only $55,000, would you be interested?” - Salesman “No thanks. Too tough to get my four-year-old in there.” - Wife (Wife walks away) “Only 55…?” - Husband Of a Ford Mustang GT

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“Ugh, my selfie stick isn’t long enough to get all of me and the car in there for the ‘Gram.” - Guy Of a Rolls-Royce Wraith Coupe “This is straight up stuff you’d see on Top Gear.” - New York State Trooper Of a wrapped and spray painted Audi R8

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“They ruined it! Who’s gonna buy this with all the graffiti?” - Bro #1 “Actually, it’s a wrap we had an artist paint over. Peel it off and the car is essentially new.” - Rep (The rep leaves) “Still ruined.” - Bro #2 Of a McLaren 650S “That’s a Porsche.” - Bro #1 “Nah. Lambo.” - Bro #2 Of a Jeep with a bonkers sound system “Oh my goodness! Can we get one of those for our van?” - Small Child “Uh, I’ll look into it.” - Dad Of an Optimus Prime-themed Wrangler

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“This is the car they used in the Transformers movie,” - Father “Cool!” - Small Child “...This wasn’t actually in the movie.” - Tuner who built the Jeep “You sure?” - Father Of a Polaris Slingshot “Are you ready to go yet?” - Wife “Few more minutes” - Husband, baby in a bjorn on his chest, hands tightly over the infant’s ears Of a Wrangler sitting on 34-inch rims

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