From the book Boundaries by Cloud & Townsend, p 160



The scenario: Someone you care about is yelling at you and you want it to stop, it feels like a violation of boundaries.



Incorrect (poor personal boundaries) and correct (proper personal boundaries in place) responses:

Incorrect:

“Stop yelling at me. You must be nicer.”



Correct:

“You can continue to yell if you choose to. But I will choose not to be in your presence when you act that way.”

Scenario: Your loved one has a drinking problem.



Incorrect:

“You’ve just got to stop drinking. It’s ruining our family. Please listen. You’re wrecking our lives.”