When you just want a steaming bowl of ramen and you get given this (Picture: Natasha Nicholson)

Some people like to think about burgers all hours of the day.

It’s the one thought that occupies their mind between their last fix and their next one.

Let me say now that I’m not one of them.

But I do appreciate a really good burger where the slightly aged meat has been thoughtfully combined with the appropriate amount of fat and a blend of spices to create that perfect patty.


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You know, the kind where the juices start to run when you cook it but is still moist when you come to bite into it.

The one that manages to step right on the fine line between seasoned and over-seasoned and coats your mouth with flavour.



And then there’s the bun – brioche for me – that’s lightly toasted on both sides but still retains good cushioning to soak up those burger juices.

From there, I’m pretty flexible about the rest of the burger filling.

But while I’m open minded about the sort of thing that completes my burger, there are some combinations that are frankly abominations and should not exist.

Here are 20 of the worst offenders. Note, this is not an exhaustive list.

20. Mushroom burger

I get that there needs to be vegetarian options but when it’s a solitary portobello mushroom with some cheese and salad, it feels like I’m being cheated.

19. Rainbow burger

Why would you ever need to eat this much food colouring?

Down with unicorn food.

18. Egg omelette wrapped burger

What’s wrong with a fried egg?

And yeah, I’m one of those people who hate eggs on their pizza too.

17. Pizza burger

You know that both will be exponentially better when done separately.

16. Poutine burger

Chips and gravy? Thumbs up.

Chips, gravy and cheese curd? Not everyone’s cup of tea.

Chips, gravy and cheese curd on an otherwise OK burger? Just don’t do it.

15. Mac n Cheese burger

Just, why? Luckily, you can scrape it off. Please make it so you can scrape it off.

14. Lasagne burger

As above. Only, you can’t even scrape it off.

13. Ramen burger

Call me a purest but I like my burger with buns.

12. Sushi burger

Is this even a burger?

11. Mushroom burger V2

It’s a sad day when you have a tomato instead of a patty and mushroom instead of buns.

The burger fairies weeped.

10. Ramen burger V2

Words cannot describe.

9. Cabbage burger

So basically, a patty and salad then.

8. Avocado burger

If there was ever an anti-burger.

7. Popcorn burger

Face palm.

6. Bagged burger

This cannot be good. For anyone.

5. Ice cream burger

Is the dessert a burger on top of ice cream?

4. Peanut butter, bacon and banana burger

This is not the way to get your five a day.

3. Canned burger

I can’t even begin to imagine what that bun tasted like.

2. PBNJ burger

Yes – peanut butter and jelly (jam) on your burger.



It just doesn’t stop.

1. Cheerios (and pop tart) burger

It’s like the night before and the morning after all rolled into one.

Occasionally, there are some burgers that sound really awful at first, but then you just can’t stop yourself from wanting one.

Gravy burger

The burger that will never be too dry.

Doughnut burger

Because the doughnut and the patty will just melt together into fatty goodness in your mouth.

Fatty melt

For when you just can’t decide whether you want a cheese toastie or a burger.

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