BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM

Can you hear the drums? The music swells…

FunkyTown says “Happy New Year! Top notch edgy post! For more posts like this visit /r/iamverysmart/ Best wishes for 2019!”

We start out light…gotta save our strength. “Happy New Year! Top notch sneaky insult. ;)”

FunkyTown continues “You’re just here for stroking your own ego and mad that nobody gives a shit about you. You write that you own a lot of stuff and are madly talented and big brained. Except you are here on an anonymous forum begging for attention. Only you think you are too full of yourself to be actually begging, so you make a post putting others down. Cringe worthy. I just hope you find some happiness with what you have, but I think you need to learn that if you want the attention of other humans (which most of us do), you’ll need to be less of an edgy asshole to get it.”

Flip adds “Isn’t that what reddit is for? But seriously, imagine this post written as a comment in every thread, that’s what it’s like over at /r/martialarts”

“I’ve already got your attention….and I thank you for it. It feeeeeeeds me. More, please…I need more. I never get tired of the insults. The more creative the better; it’s how I can tell you’re not a bot. Bots don’t get mad; they don’t cringe…but people do. You do…”

The drums fade into the background as light strings rise.

Load burns “Nice, you’re drawing on the tired stereotypical old-person lamentation about the new generation whilst opining about the good ol’ days.

The lack of substantial evidence, even anecdotal, really seals the deal on this one. Oh, also, how you sling pointed insults towards those who are inevitably going to downvote this dumpster-fire of a post. Way to get ahead of the game there and try to frame the conversation.

Either a good troll post, or one by an extremely bitter, sad human being. Or both. Probably that one.”

This is one superfluous motherfucker. “ Sick burn. I like you.”

Horns blow; keys fall.

Volu says “If you’re upset about people not utilizing their knowledge for better things, you can always lead by example. There are plenty of charities out there that could utilize assistance from computer scientists.”

Horns again and those drums! Is that ego tapping the conductor’s baton?

“I do lead by example. I’m one of Canada’s best C programmers with several publicly noted accomplishments. I’ve done work with the disabled using facial recognition. I’ve helped countless small businesses and family farms compete and hold on several years longer than their peers while big corporate colluded with my Government to take their production away.”

Zolton cuts in “Whow... You are really impressive. Can I have a signed hat, maybe? Or some other artifact to show my fellow programmers that I met You on Reddit?”

Cocky is best here. “I only give autographs to respectful adults who appreciate the opportunities I offer them, but you gotta bring something more to the table than just high school humour.”

Woods and horns…soft, subtle.

Zolton parries “I think seniors like yourself carry a responsibility to the profession. You shouldn’t talk down to juniors, peers and colleagues. If you don’t like it then change it. Just don’t come here to tell us how awful we are and how you are the enlightened one.”

Gotta shake this one. Too sensitive. “Did I hurt your feelings? Oops. You better work on that skin thickening if you want to face real challenges in life. At least you admit I’m your senior. That’s progress. Usually you ‘juniors’ are so full of yourselves all I get is bile like some exorcising devil…and by the way…don’t tell me what to do. I’m not one of your machines or your passive aggressive colleagues.”

Framky saves it “Hey, fuck u man. I’ll have you know I wrote a multi-threaded web server in rust…that’s gotta count for something!”

Trumpets cry over sweet bassoons.

“Anybody else want to take a shot at the throne? I’m gonna be here all day. Come one come all. Put those big brains to work and challenge me, cowards! I won’t bite….much.”

Dewn drops “This is exactly why I left the field of computer science. I still occasionally contribute to open source projects when I feel like it though.

Reading this brought a strong Terry Davis like feeling. I would want to use the phrase, ‘You’re not wrong, you’re just an A hole.’, but I can’t because you’re just speaking the truth and people can’t take it.”

Violins…flutes…

Lost Voices taunt “Terry Davis was an angel on earth, don’t compare him to this pompous ass.”

Ouch. Did they just compare me to a racist homophobe? Guys, please….I’m Canadian.

“Tick tock script kiddies. I’m only here for a few more hours. Big brains stop hiding…or has all the brain power left programming for greener pastures? Has the corporate oversight completely cowed you? Programmers have become so passive…tragic. We were once so strong…the suits used to beg us for the smallest code update…and now you all just sleep walk through another day of “best practices”…do you even exist at all beyond echoing your betters?”

Astro swings “I’ll have you know I’m very pleased with my new hair cut! It’s already gotten me complements at the bar.

I’m also very pleased with the high bar you’ve set for /r/iamverysmart level computer science posts for 2019!”

P1 squeaks “Oh good. We’ll wait.”

Clarinets and Cellos.

“Oh come on. Engage. Maybe you’ll be the one to bring me down…ya never know :)”

Drums, drums, drums.

FunkyTown returns “For more insults and custom internet attention please purchase my premium subscription.”

Nice! I like this one.

Skeptic goes all in “You post these garbage articles all the time. Are you the writer?

No offense, but they just aren’t well written at all. They read like a garbled, jargon-stuffed last minute paper from a philosophy undergrad.

There’s no “simulation theory”. It’s not a thing. The word theory has a specific meaning in science and it requires that a hypothesis be supported multiple times by different lines of inquiry. Nobody calls the idea that the world is a simulation a theory, at least no self respecting science writer.

As for the rest of the article (and the website as a whole) I’m not really sure what to say. The writing is terrible from a technical and syntactical standpoint, the topics are mostly strawmen, and it feels like the writers try too much to sound important/intelligent.”

Oboes carry the brass trombone…

“Yes, I’m the writer and thank you for reading. I don’t mind if you don’t like my writing style. It’s there for you to get what you can from it; but mostly I write to test ideas to improve my programs and business and to argue with smart people. I reeeeeaaaaaallly like arguing with smart people. I once spent an entire weekend arguing with Richard Stallman (the guy who invented open source) He’s an actual genius.

PS. You might also have noticed that I have a ridiculous amount of post karma…hahaha so down vote my shitty smarty pants attitude all you like. I really don’t care. lol”

Squid slips in “I always downvote when people ask me to.”

Skeptic lunges “I didn’t down vote you, and I think it’s pretty sophomoric and silly to bring that up. It confirms to me my initial opinion of your blog.”

Violins with slow horns.

“Of course it does. You’re superficial. If you cared about profit you’d ask me questions. You’d show respect for my accomplishments and then try to better yourself having the opportunity to speak directly with me…but your ego won’t let you will it…oh well. Doesn’t hurt me none. :)”

Skeptic recovers “What does profit have to do with anything? What accomplishments do you claim? You sound ridiculous. Also, since when is 20k karma considered high?”

Ok, I brag a little here, but damn it if it isn’t true.

“I’m one of Canada’s best C programmers. If you can’t think of something to ask me that you’d find valuable then that’s on you. If nothing else I hope it helps you realize that when I write something…it’s maybe coming from a deeper source than you at first assumed.”

JustAnother dances in “You seem to have a very high opinion of yourself, but I can’t find a lot of support for these claims. Did you change your name at some point? The only news article I can find about your work was you losing access to some of it when megaupload got taken down.”

Memories…nothing more than…

“Ya the Mega upload thing was interesting. Here’s a link to a radio interview I did at the time. https://soundcloud.com/user-613917807/cjme-morning-news. I was credited in 2002 with building Canada’s first national cloud app, Coast 2 Coast Classifieds. It facilitated employees at all press locations across the country(minus Quebec) to place ads in any printed paper. Handling logistics and financials including tax differences across provinces.”

Brass horns with trumpets to the rear.

JustAnother rounds “All developers are working on some project or another. There’s loads of web entrepreneurs who write software that other people use. There were loads of them back in the 90s, too.”

They’ve done their Google searches and they’re running out of options…

“I think the combination of being among the first, being rare, being independent, running my own company, and successfully earning my own revenue for 20 years gives me a solid claim to one of the best in Canada.”

JustAnother smells blood..or vanity “ Okay? How does that make you one of the best Canadian C programmers? Your primary stated accomplishment seems to be far more of a business accomplishment than a programming accomplishment.

There are many more notable programmers — and even more notable C programmers — from Canada. Running your own cashflow-positive consulting business for 20 years is an impressive feat, but not as impressive as you’re making it seem. There are many Canadian programmers who have made more substantial theoretical and practical contributions to the field than what you’ve presented here.

When the rest of the industry goes one way, and you wander off in a completely different direction — it’s not being some brave visionary better than everyone else.”

The violins…the cellos…the fast drum tapping…

“Don’t be such a herd animal. When the “industry” goes one way… you should look for new paths through the underbrush. I use libraries and engines…that I wrote…to keep price point down without sacrificing quality and if the quality wasn’t there the market would hold me accountable.

While pushing the bounderies of the field is nice it’s not as nice as facilitating the opportunities for regular people to operate at their highest potential so they can build families and communities without outsourcing their production to some corporation on the other side of some border. Programming belongs to the world not just California….not just in the hands of some “herd” calling themselves “best practice elite”.

Squid from the rear “I don’t think there’s enough room in this thread for both us and your ego. Your call.”

Drums…roll…strings…horns in quick procession…

“It is what it is. I don’t fear the audience. Doesn’t effect me like maybe you think it should? I have a certain freedom that others don’t and I wish you did. Would love to share but it’s just one of those things ya know. You either escape society or remain a slave. Your call.”

…and stop.

“Thanks everyone! With gratitude and respect I wish all a wonderful night. I look forward to the next battle. Cheers.”

Let’s end with the immortal words of GottModus “For better or worse, things change. I’ve felt similar sentiments before. The only thing I can say is that at the end of the day, it doesn’t matter. The world changes, and you change with it. Or you don’t and become obsolete. That’s how these things work. Idealism is designed to deceive you.”

“This is what a broken spirit sounds like…oh man…look I didn’t mean to be such a jerk to everyone, ok? It’s all gonna be fine. The best days for programming are ahead of us and it doesn’t require abandoning everything you trained in during your best years. Obsolete…please. A programmer lives on in every electron. All I ask is that more of us stand up and start our own businesses so corporate overcommodification of programmers doesn’t overwhelm the entire ecosystem.”

Happy New year!