Maurizio Sarri apologised to Manchester United and admitted Chelsea were in the wrong after one of his coaches sparked a furious touchline row with José Mourinho.

Mourinho leapt from his seat on United’s bench to confront Marco Ianni after the Chelsea assistant coach celebrated Ross Barkley’s dramatic late equaliser by pumping his fists in front of the away dugout. The dispute spiralled into the tunnel, forcing stewards to intervene, and led to heated exchanges between members of both benches.

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It was a while before Mike Dean, the referee, was able to restore order. Once the dust had settled, however, Sarri was quick to accept the blame and criticise Ianni’s actions. Mourinho, who accused Chelsea’s fans of disrespecting him, also attempted to draw a line under the matter despite saying that Ianni’s actions were down to a “bad education”.

“I didn’t see anything on the pitch but after the match I spoke with José and immediately understood that we are wrong,” Sarri said. “I have spoken with the member of my staff and then I bring him to speak with Mourinho to say sorry to him. I think it is finished. We made a mistake. We were in the wrong.”

Sarri is yet to decide if he will punish Ianni. “I have dealt with the situation immediately,” he said. “I have to speak to him again because I want to be sure he is able to understand that it was a big mistake. I have to view everything. Now the situation is between me and the staff face‑to-face.”

There were so many bodies involved that it was difficult for Dean to get a good view of what happened. The Football Association will have to wait for Dean’s report and view the footage before deciding whether to discipline either club.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Maurizio Sarri has not yet decided whether he will punish Marco Ianni. Photograph: TGSPhoto/Rex/Shutterstock

It is thought that Mourinho meant that Ianni was guilty of a lack of manners when he spoke about the Italian’s education. In any case, United’s manager was not in a mood to prolong the argument.

“Not celebrations, bad education,” he said. “But I also made mistakes in football matches and will make more. I accepted his apologies.

“Maurizio saw and said he would take care of it internally and to accept his apology, which I did. Then the young fellow came and apologised and I told him I accepted. I said: ‘I did mistakes when I was your age’.”

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United were on the verge of securing their first win here since 2012 after mounting an impressive comeback in the second half, with Anthony Martial scoring twice after Antonio Rüdiger had given Chelsea an early lead.

Yet Mourinho ended up questioning why Dean played so much stoppage time after Barkley snatched a point for the hosts in the sixth minute of added time. “The referee gave six minutes,” he said. “Normally when I am losing I never get six minutes. I do not know where the extra time came from. But that is football.”

United, who host Juventus in the Champions League on Tuesday, showed enough promise to suggest that Mourinho still has the support of his players after weeks of speculation about his future at Old Trafford. Martial was excellent in the second half and Mourinho refused to criticise Paul Pogba for losing Rüdiger when the Chelsea defender headed in the opening goal from a corner.

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“My feeling is that we work on the pitch,” Mourinho said. “We defend mixed, so some players are in zones and some have individual opponents. Sometimes the opponent is better than us. In this case Antonio was really strong in the movement. Players make mistakes. I prefer to focus on the global performance. My midfield was very good. Paul was good.”

It was an eventful return to his former club for Mourinho. After the final whistle he held up three fingers to signify the number of league titles he won in his two spells at Chelsea. “I did not get respect back from Chelsea fans but that is not my responsibility,” he said.