Your cry has been heard, discerning Dallas protector of the purity of the white race. November 8-9 you won't have to choose between fondly remembering the Third Reich, dressing up in your finest white linens or playing with guns. That's right, within a two-and-a-half hour drive, you can do all three. Now, it should be noted that you won't be able to attend all three events. Keeping that in mind, Unfair Park thought it would create this handy guide to the weekend's hate-based activities.

National Socialist Movement Rally and Swastika Burning Time: 4 p.m., November 8 Place: Rockwall County Courthouse steps From the group: "We have everything from illegal alien gangs, to violent druglords, and even mystery illnesses crossing over America's southern border from Mexico. Our rally will be a show-of-force. The good people of mainstream and middle America will not tolerate this rampant injustice anymore." Recommended If You Like: Triumph of the Will, The Turner Diaries, the number 88 or red armbands Don't Miss: The after-party. After the courthouse rally, a party featuring free barbecue and a swastika lighting will be held on private property. As if you needed more of an excuse than free barbecue.

Texas Knights of the Ku Klux Klan Annual Fall Rally and Cross Lighting Time: 12 p.m., November 8 Place: Undisclosed location (with camping) in or near Nacogdoches, email texasknight83@gmail.com for details From the Group: "Gates open at noon, white racial kindred only, no alcohol or drugs, free onsite camping, motels located near rally site, cross lighting at dusk." Recommended If You Like: Birth of a Nation, George Wallace's early stuff, crisp linens or hoods. Don't Miss: Getting there on time. Chance are, you've seen a cross burning before, so get there early so you can have plenty of fun and still make it back to Rockwall for the swastika burning and barbecue.

Texas Militia Training Organized by Dallas City Troop Date: November 9 Place: Somewhere near Dallas, if interested contact hq@dallascitytroop.org From the Group: "The Dallas City Troop trains in military skills of a basic and light infantry innature and prepares tp operate as a dismounted recon unit. The training schedule reflects the need for non prior service members to acquire military skills, while the unit trains to achieve a level of teamwork necessary to accomplish the various missions the Troop may be called upon to undertake." Recommended If You Like: The Oklahoma City bombing, Ruby Ridge, David Koresh or being on the TSA no-fly list. Don't Miss: The whole thing. The training is guaranteed to be a good workout, something you'll need after the barbecue and the NSM shindig. The training is a good chance to burn off the steam you'll surely have built up after hearing the truth about illegals, the Blacks and Zionist conspiracies all weekend.