



This was an April Fools' article and we can't wait to see the real designs from Kelly HQ. Sorry about that.

Kelly Slater’s new Bells board has to be seen to be believed.

Fresh off the back of his rumoured Firewire share acquisition we thought would take time to ‘bring the revolution’ but lo, here it is. The Evergreen (designed specifically for the slow walls of Bells) is constructed from recycled pine trees and is 100 percent bio-degradable.

“I’ve had this design in mind for a while,” said the multiple world champion. “And finally I can unveil it, having invested in a company capable of producing this environmentally friendly rocket ship.”

The specifics

When bogging along at smallish Bells you need to radically rethink your approach to wave physics.

This ‘throw it all away and start again’ approach has resulted in a wide point pushed all the back under the rear foot for speed. Where a normal design would bog on a flat wave face, "this thing will be accelerating like an F1 car" we are lead to believe.

Conventional understanding would assume pushing the wide point back this far would normally hinder a board off the tail – but the multiple old school stinger release points promise to have spray bucketing off the back of the wave.

And finally to complete the package we have to consider the length – or lack of it. What’s being touted as "compressed potential velocity" is simply twice as much foam elegantly telescoped into a shorter than average length. This thing is a beast in a tiny packet and should pivot on a pin head.

But as we all know, it is what you do with it which counts and we can’t wait to see it in action.