Alexis Jones' sisterly advice for college football players

Nicole Auerbach | USA TODAY Sports

Alexis Jones' summer itinerary has included visits to nearby UCLA and USC, flights to Iowa State and the University of Washington, and recently Austin, where she met with football players at the University of Texas.

During college football's preseason, Jones is a different kind of coach.

Jones has worked with prominent teams as well as the Elite 11 quarterback development program on issues of sexual assault and domestic violence. Her program — ProtectHer — is aimed at broadening male athletes' definition of "manhood" while reminding them of their responsibility to protect and respect the women in their daily lives.

"She did an unbelievable job," Texas coach Charlie Strong told reporters on Aug. 22. "It was probably one of the best talks the players have had."

What makes Jones unique is her relatable, positive message and her lingo, which she calls "speaking dude." She calls herself the "cool older sister" who converses with players not too much younger than herself in ways they can understand. "What? You didn't get the memo?" Jones tells them. "It's not cool to disrespect chicks anymore."

"I always tell them, 'You are the best athletes in the country playing at the level you are playing at right now — that means that I'm also inviting you to be phenomenal men,' " Jones said. "Then, I present different scenarios and situations. I think it's really different when you teach through parables, teach through stories. You give them an opportunity to kind of figure these things out on their own."

One of Jones' most effective strategies for driving home her point about protecting and respecting women is simple — and eye-opening for the players in attendance. Before meeting with a team, Jones will sift through players' social media accounts and pull pictures of girlfriends, sisters and mothers. After she goes through a series of statistics about rape and sexual assault, she goes to the next slide. What happens when it's her?

"All of a sudden, they're staring at pictures of girls and women they love," she said. "A stranger has come into their locker room and has suddenly put a name and face to the people they would go to battle for. In every talk, I memorize the names of the girls. What happens when it's Jenny? Or Lauren? Mark, what happens when it's your mom Teresa? All of a sudden, you have a room full of boys who are welling up with tears because suddenly this issue matters to them."

Jones educates young men about these topics so when they see any woman in a bad situation, ideally they will think of their loved ones and do something. She also tries to equip players with the language they can use when they're in a tough spot.

"It's literally giving them the words," Jones said. "Real-life story: Super hammered girl walks in. She was so hammered, could barely stand. Literally grabbed two of the football players' hands and were walking into the back room. The basketball player who was standing there said, 'I knew everything inside of me knew that was wrong. But it was like, before you know it, the moment is over. They were already in the room and the door was shut.'

"What if he had been given the words, and he could put his hands on the guy's chest and say, 'Come on dude, you don't do that.' Literally a one-liner."

Jones is 32 years old, but jokes that she's actually 17. She speaks — and curses and jokes — just like the players she interacts with. Her message sticks because, for many players, it's the first time these issues are explained in terms they understand, in the way they talk and the way they live.

When she talks for an hour to a team, she says, you could hear a pin drop.