Why Do I Write on BDSM?

Many feminists object when I say that the sexualization of dominance is anti-liberation. While I analyze BDSM practices through a feminist lens, they see me as stomping into their bedrooms and wagging my finger.

But none of my writing or conversing on the topic is done with the goal of “shaming” people who practice BDSM, though I am frequently infuriated by men who use BDSM culture to push women beyond their stated limits.

Rather, I am compelled to analyze the sexualization of dominance and submission through a feminist lens because radical analysis is as I see it central to dismantling oppressive systems of power.

The truth is, this analysis is not about your personal practice of BDSM.

I am not asking you to abstain from BDSM because I think it is “bad”. You chosing to practice BDSM or not is not revolutionary in and of itself. Furthermore, that type of thinking is a symptom of a liberal individualist perspective.

I’ve previously addressed whether ethical BDSM practice is possible. In my opinion, consent does not mitigate the harms of abuse, and those who engage in BDSM practice are participating in abuse.

But leaving that aside for now, I’d like to talk about resistance. Resistance means standing up against power and fighting back against our oppressors. It isn’t about making the best personal deal we can for ourselves within the profoundly exploitative and unjust patriarchal system. It means working together to overthrow/change the bullsh*t system and making conditions better for women as a class.

With that in mind, I will return to the question “Why do I write about BDSM?”

The practice of BDSM is about conforming to and learning to enjoy systems of oppression. It is about taking the unjust system of disenfranchisement, humiliation, and pain, and celebrating it in an intimate way. It is about objectifying and dehumanizing one another for the sake of orgasm in the context of a profoundly racist, misogynistic, and classist world.

In other words, BDSM is actively opposed to revolution. After all, if humiliation and degradation is sexy, why would we work towards ending it?