WWE Creative: “Okay, Finn Balor - I can call you Finny, yeah? ...

...

No? Okay...

Finn then. Right, so I want you to wear your tight leather jacket tonight and go down to the ring, none of that arm waving to the music nonsense - I want you looking intense and focused.”

Finn Balor: “Okay, boss. You got it, do you want me to say anything when I get there. Do I call out Brock Lesnar or something? Is this when I get my Universal Title rematch?”

WWE Creative: “Yes. By yes I mean the lights will go out as you start to talk, and when they come on Kane will appear behind you and chokeslam you to hell. Then you go to the back.”

Finn Balor: “Sigh...”

WWE Creative: “We really need Kane looking strong for ‘Mania against Roman.”

Cue record scratch...

Editor’s note: This a work of satire. Neither the author of this post or anyone at Cageside Seats has been privvy to WWE Creative meetings, and this fictional depiction of one is not intended to be taken seriously.

We’ve all been there before, friend. You’ve spent a long time working to get to the top of the business and when you finally arrive you get injured and sidelined for close to what, seven or eight months?

Hey, injuries happen - chin up, Ellsworth!

When you come back from injury, sure, not picking up where you left off sucks but at least you get to work with a veteran who can build you back up into a challenger. What about someone like THEDEMONKANE, right? You get to work with someone that has over twenty years experience in the same character so imagine the rub you can get from just being in the same ring.

You’re going to be such a huge star!

What, you don’t believe me? You think you could do better? Do you want this job? No, seriously - do you want to work for Vince McMahon and sit there starving, all while he eats in front of you during production meetings?

Maybe you think you can avoid acting like a mark when writing for your favorite wrestling Superstars?

All jokes aside it looks like WWE are seeking new blood for the writers room which can only be a good thing. They’re seeking an individual with a history of writing and directing for reality television that’s plugged into pop culture. Other requirements equally desirable and totally lacking in anything they’ve put out creatively in recent history include:

Highly creative (a prolific idea generator)

Strong understanding of WWE's audience (demographic and psychographic) a plus

I’m not entirely sure that there’s been a highly creative idea out of WWE in years, but I’ll certainly admit they understand their audience, that’s for sure.

Now if only they could make Bray Wyatt relevant again - wait, who am I kidding with that one...

If you think you’ve got the chops to make the next big angle that doesn’t include having Finn Balor book onto a Demon Gimmick on a Pole match against the Big Red Machine, you can apply over at WWE’s recruitment site.