The Longhorn Network regrets to inform you that because of today’s loss, our scheduled Texas-OU postgame coverage has been canceled. Please enjoy the Happy Days marathon.

You think I’m kidding? This thing has possibilities that boggle the mind. Welcome to a whole new world of silliness.

Wouldn’t you love to eavesdrop on a planning session?

“Sorry, Joe, that line about Rick Barnes, you know, uh, not doing well in March didn’t make it past the censors. Don’t you have some video of Rick feeding the homeless? Let’s go with that.”

See what I mean? Why have the Aggies worked themselves into such a lather? There’s no way this thing is going to generate a significant audience because there just aren’t enough orangebloods who are going to get worked up about a Texas-OU volleyball game.

As for everything else, it’s going to be one long infomercial for Texas, and fans aren’t stupid. They’re going to know the network’s reporting and commentary have been filtered through the Texas propaganda machine.

Fans want an independent voice, and the only place that can be found is from journalists and commentators without financial ties to ESPN or the Longhorn Network.

The Longhorn Network is pleased to announce we’ll be repeating our acclaimed documentary: “Pay no attention to Austin American-Statesman columnist Kirk Bohls.’’

Courtesy of ESPN

Texas has the most money and best facilities. Unless that $15 million a year buys better judgment, it’s not going to make a dime’s worth of difference.

Nipping at Bevo’s heels

Texas A&M has closed the gap on Texas because Bill Byrne has done a better job of hiring coaches and because he has dragged the Aggies into the 21st century in terms of facilities. What else matters?

For instance, both schools have hired women’s basketball coaches the past eight years.

Question: Who is the Big 12’s highest-paid women’s coach?

Answer: Texas’ Gail Goestenkors.

Bonus question: What is her record against Texas A&M’s Gary Blair, who is the fourth-highest paid?

Answer: 0-10.

Tonight on the Longhorn Network, our investigative team presents a three-hour documentary: “Bob Stoops is the devil.” Parents, if your son is a high school football player, please tune in to this important program.

Texas athletics generate close to $140 million a year in revenue, and that’s just a number. If athletic director DeLoss Dodds needs more, he picks up the phone and asks some rich guy to write a check.

Texas builds facilities and then builds more facilities for the sake of building them. If you’ve seen one players’ lounge dotted with high-def televisions, you’ve seen them all.

Does Texas dominate the Big 12? No. Will Texas dominate the Big 12 because ESPN throws more money at it? No.

At the moment, Texas football is the only nationally relevant program on the campus, and virtually all the games already were on television. In a perfect world, basketball would have some national interest, but Barnes has gotten the Longhorns out of the second round of the NCAA Tournament only once in the past five years.

Besides, sports are local. Does ESPN think fans in Oregon and Wisconsin will be dying for a prime-time Texas-Missouri soccer match?

I love Mack Brown, but how much Mack can a network have before he gets overexposed? After he spends 15 minutes discussing the last game and 15 on the next, what is there to say?

If someone is going to be hurt by the Longhorn Network, it could be Texas. If Texas A&M were to bolt for the Southeastern Conference, that would be bad for Texas.

Rivalries matter

If the Big 12 unravels and Texas is forced to play as an independent, the Longhorns would be worse off. Part of what makes Texas special is its rivalries with Texas A&M, Oklahoma, etc. If the Longhorns no longer have the Aggies, the UT program will be diminished.

And if Texas fans think the program can schedule OU and A&M, they might find out otherwise.

Texas took the money ESPN offered, and who can begrudge it for doing that. But did the people in charge think the whole thing through? Did they fail to understand what life would be like without A&M, Tech and OU?

Do Texas fans really want an independent schedule? How many premier games a season would they be able to get? Texas went for the money, but Texas had plenty.

When the NFL got its first national television contract, New York Giants owner Wellington Mara insisted the money be shared equally among all the teams.

He could have demanded 75 percent of it, or more. But he understood that part of what made the Giants great was playing in a strong, competitive league, a league where the Green Bay Packers have a chance.

The Longhorns got their money, and good for them for that. But they might end up paying a different kind of price.

richard.justice@chron.com

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