By Staff Writers

With his shaky finger hovering over the Enter key after typing ‘sudo pacman -Syu’ on his system, the Arch Linux using man from Jacksonville, Florida had never experienced such anxiety, sources say.

With the ominous “Proceed with installation? [Y/n]” text still displayed on his computer screen, the user of the Arch Linux operating system spoke to reporters, detailing the almost daily grueling and stressful exercise he goes through. “On the one hand, I’m excited to have new software or new system packages available almost daily,” he said while tightly clasping a cup of extra strong coffee between his hands and a slight quiver in his voice. “But you know what they say: ‘an update a day, you will surely pay’ and ‘the KISS operating system? More like the masochist operating system’“.

The user, who wished to only be called “Tim”, wouldn’t divulge where he heard such sayings but said he had heard them “just around the internet”. “It’s just the stuff you hear,” he added. “Any new updates could break your system, corrupt data or turn your entire family into communists. Just stuff like that. But other than that I’ve really enjoyed my experience with the OS so far.”

The latest reports say that Tim’s update seemed to go smoothly after all, but he says he will “enjoy it while it lasts”, as tomorrow will “bring another round of updates”. Reports also say Tim had been considering switching back to Ubuntu, but it would be “too boring and not updating fast enough”. “I guess I kind of like living on the edge, man,” he had added.