Last week, I was listening to Christmas tunes on the radio while I was driving to the local mall to do Christmas shopping. It was a beautiful, sunny day but traffic was a little heavy. That presented an opportunity to actually sit back and carefully listen to to the lyrics of “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” and, as I did, bizarre things about the song kept popping up in my head.

For one… if Rudolph is the most famous reindeer of them all, why do you need to be reminded of that AFTER you are reminded that you already know all of the OTHER reindeer? I mean, honestly, does anyone come up to you and say “You know Mantle, Dimaggio, Dent and Jeter but do you recall the most famous Yankee of them all… Babe Ruth…”? No, I think not.

Second, in this particular song, Santa is one mean, manipulative dude. First, he allows all of his other reindeer to ridicule, chastise and, essentially, make fun of Rudolph’s handicap or deformity without ever batting an eye. But when the crap hit the fan and Santa was pretty much screwed, who does he turn to in his hour of need? He turns to his deformed and handicapped reindeer.

But instead of apologizing to Rudolph about all the cruelty that has been thrown his way, what does good ol’ Saint Nick do? Santa MANIPULATES Rudolph into believing it’s a huge honor to “guide my sleigh tonight”. No, there’s no Tom Sawyer manipulation going on there, is there?

Seriously… in this song, Santa is one mean dude, ain’t he???