Hey y’all, I hope everyone is having a great day!

So today, unless you’re reading this in the future, is National Coming Out Day. A time, to, be honest I am not entirely sure. Anyway, as someone only out to their parents and an online community, I have already had a wide variety of responses to coming out. I once heard it said that coming out isn’t a one-time even, it’s a process. As someone in the middle of that process, I think that’s one of the most accurate statements you can make about coming out. I know of one girl who it took a year from the first person she told to publicly coming out to Facebook, and for me will definitely be a month-long process as well. However, that is not really what I mean by process. I would say that coming out is a process because it’s still not done even after you have told the person.

When I first came out to the first group of friends, the responses were mostly supportive, and what I thought was positive. I was afraid that I would ultimately be faced with rejection, but instead I was met by at least acceptance of still maintaining the friendship despite of my gender dysphoria. I took that as a good thing, and I think that it was. That was over two months ago, and things are still changing. In that circle of friends, I am finding myself drifting away from some people, and closer together with others. Even though it didn’t happen instantly, I can tell that I am losing friends, but am making new ones. In a sense, while it is like a Band-Aid and once it’s off, it’s off, on the other hand, it is like a cast that is going to be on a while and takes time to remove.

My friendship with them will never be the same; my relationship with my parents will never be the same. It’s the same with all of my friends; it won’t and can’t ever be the same once I come out to them. The relationship is going to change, and it is going to change over time. Right now, my parents are not supportive; my mom thinks that I will end up being an HIV-positive drug addict if I pursue transitioning. However, it is possible, and I hope, that they will become supportive overtime as they get to know the real, authentic me. The problem is that I ultimately have no idea what is going to happen because even though they know about my gender dysphoria, they don’t really know the real; authentic me and they may not like her. On the other hand, they could love her as their daughter, which is my hope.

Coming out has been the most difficult and scariest thing that I have ever done in my life, and I am not done. While there have been difficult and painful moments, there have been very supportive and loving moments in this journey, and I ultimately don’t think I regret coming out when I did. One of the things that I’ve learned is that it you ultimately can’t really change the other person’s reaction towards it, they’re probably going to react the same if you waited or did it now. Ultimately, I think that is making me a stronger and more patient person.

God Bless, I love you all and I’ll see you next time!

To those still in the closet: If you are reading this and are still in the closet, the first thing that you should have in mind is your safety. If you feel unsafe, or even think that coming out could put you in an unsafe situation, DO NOT come out. If you are unsure of your family’s reaction and still dependent on them, have a backup plan if things go south, a friend or other family member who can take you in that you are already out to. If you cannot, there are shelters out there that are trans-friendly. There are too many youth and young adult trans people who commit suicide or end up homeless, and we all do not want you to be one of them. Do not be afraid to come out in a public space if you think your family will not be supportive, being in a public place can deter people from extreme reactions. Final things: Uber offers a free ride the first time; if you need to get to a friend, do not be afraid to call 911 if you feel that you are in a violent situation and are fearing for your life or physical safety, just just say you’re in a violent situation and need help, if you’re coming out, tell someone who knows so that if you don’t check in after, they know to have you checked on, if your family reacts badly, go to a friend’s house for a night, give them time to digest and CALL them the next day to talk about it.

For the people who do end up coming out today: Congratulations, I really hope it goes well!