George Soros Accused Of Providing 30 Pieces Of Silver Used To Pay Off Judas

U.S.—According to several reliable conservative websites nobody has ever heard of, a team of historians confirmed Friday the discovery of new documents that suggest George Soros may have funded Judas' betrayal of Jesus of Nazareth.

The new evidence reportedly shows that Soros deposited 30 pieces of silver in the chief priests' accounts, which they then used to pay off Judas and kick off Jesus's trial and execution.

"We knew that rotten Soros was involved somehow," said renowned expert on both theology and politics Franklin Graham. "This just goes to show you that literally any event that looks a little suspicious, across all human history, was funded by Soros."

Right-wing websites were also able to trace the fall of Rome, various Viking raids, and the Matrix sequels to Soros, producing a large paper trail that looked "pretty legit."

"It's Soros, all the way down," said Graham, matter-of-factly.

At publishing time, conservative evangelicals had also accused Soros of paying off the mobs who demanded the release of Barabbas instead of Jesus.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. Get FREE Access *with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee