A Day In The Life

Wifey and the husband wake up at 6:00am and she starts to get herself prepared for the day. Then, she’ll get the kids up at 7:00 or so and see them and the hubby out the door by 8:30. What’s next? There’s an entire day of freedom from the little munchkins! She’ll go home, clean and tidy the house. It’s not even 10:00. She’ll go to the gym for an hour then head to lunch with girlfriends…maybe go shopping with them, or pick up a few groceries. She’ll pick the kiddos up at 3:00pm, then go home and “supervise” while watching whatever current garbage is on the HGTV network. At 5:00, she’ll start preparing dinner (if she bothers to cook). The husband comes home, and by 7:00 she checks out for the night as he does the dishes and helps the kids with homework. Maybe she reads them a story for an hour. Have sex at 10pm (oops, I forgot this was a marriage, so cross that off). Asleep by 11:00.

Please note, this is applicable to parents with school-age and above children. A toddler is a different ballgame, I would imagine.

These are very real stories that I’ve heard rehashed numerous times by some of my own family members and the wives of my co-workers. While they’ll never shut up about how mentally exhausting it is be a stay at home mom, and how they never get to sit down, it’s ridiculous that they think their life is somehow more stressful, or that they work harder than their husbands that deal with rush hour commutes, nagging bosses, deadlines, and the other pitfalls of a 9-5 career.

My mom stayed home and cared for my sister and I until we were both in middle school. She did things right: we had hot meals six nights a week, my dad read the paper after dinner (rarely doing dishes), and she did all the housework except for the manly stuff like mowing the lawn and changing the oil. She did not spend hours on Facebook or at lunch gossiping with girlfriends. On top of that, if asked, she always said without hesitation, “Dad works much harder and endures much more stress than I do. I’m very lucky to be able to stay home.”

That is the attitude a stay at home mom should have.

Do The Math

Total hours “worked” in her eyes = 6am – 11pm = 17 hours

In reality:

4 hours for getting the kids ready and then cleaning up/tidying

1 hour shopping for groceries

1 hour entertaining the kids in the afternoon

2 hours preparing a meal and then cleaning up

Once that’s all added up it’s only eight hours, and I’m being generous with that. Meanwhile, the husbands leave the house by 8:00, sit in traffic for an hour, get a measly one hour lunch, and sit in traffic for another hour to get home. Once home, they then have to clean up (because after all, she did the cooking) and then help the kids with their math homework because mom never studied anything that actually made her think, and therefore cannot help with math.

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The most disgusting part about this to me is that I hear my these stay at home moms bragging about this to no end. Yet, they still hamsterize that they are somehow working harder and longer than their husbands. They also never acknowledge that the stress of the full-time workforce is far more intense than being a stay at home mom. While their husband is being chewed out by his boss, their biggest worry of the day is not burning the lasagna (assuming they can cook).

As Technology Evolves, Staying At Home Gets Easier

It’s too easy to be a stay at home mom because of ever-advancing technology. In other times, tasks would take longer and more of the mom’s day would be filled up doing other homely duties.

Instead of making a scrapbook of photos of her children, she launches iPhoto.

Instead of making several batches of a recipe to perfect it, she just searches Google for the easiest one.

Instead of hand writing a letter to her mother containing pictures of the kids, she snaps a picture on her iPhone and sends it as an MMS.

Instead of hand washing clothes and then hanging them up to dry, she presses a couple of buttons on the dryer.

Instead of going to the farmers market for fresh produce, she has the groceries delivered straight to her home.

And of course, she has a smartphone with Yelp that lets her order a variety of different meals so she doesn’t even need to turn on the oven.

Suggestions For The Husbands

If I wasn’t falling on deaf ears to my uncles and co-workers when talking about the red pill, here’s a few ideas I’d throw out to make sure that their stay at home wife is far more accountable and contributes her fair share to the household. I can see from the look on their face that they know they work harder, but don’t have the balls to say anything.

Make her keep a journal of everything she does. Every day.

Write down a schedule/to do list for her and make it clear that you expect it to be completed every day.

If you can outsource some of your career work to her, do so. Make her edit your emails or reports to save you the time.

If she’s got the drive, have her start her own business. Being a “mom blogger” doesn’t count.

While she’ll probably throw a fit at the idea, have her get a part-time job. She’ll complain, “Nobody will hire me for what I’m worth,” and not look hard. Keep bringing her job applications from Starbucks and Wal-Mart until she finally gets fed up with it and looks for a job she thinks she deserves. If she has a Liberal Arts degree, I wouldn’t throw away the Starbucks application just yet.

Make her bring you a hot lunch. Buy one of those boxes that delivery boys use to keep pizzas warm. If you live far from work and gas money for her to get there is expensive, get her a bus pass.

If she considers herself as an equal partner in the marriage, she should have no problem complying to the above, or getting a part-time job. If she fails to do either, then at least get her in the kitchen to make you a sandwich.

Read More: The Long March Home