Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is a gem. What do gems do best? Sparkle. Here's a video of Cortez comparing her election to America's victory in the space race against the Ruskies:

This woman is a gift. She's precious, special, and I'm seriously considering buying her a gift basket for Christmas. Something with fruit, chocolates, and a new Prada clutch. Better yet, a Lego set of the space shuttle. Give her something to tinker with as she's noodling her next speech. Women support women.

Look it, I understand metaphors. Metaphors are the melted cheese to my golden-toasted, lightly buttered personality. But in order for metaphors to work, they need an element of truth via logic. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez is a socialist elected from a deep blue part of her state. Her election is on par with the moon landing as much as Ben Shapiro's chances of taking this year's NBA MVP title from Lebron James.

Cortez was always going to be elected. She's young, she's pretty, she's accidentally hilarious. She got constant media coverage from everyone, including us, who just found her too funny, we couldn't not write about her. Abstaining from mocking her causes physical pain. She had an easy win. So to compare her electoral victory to great American milestones is inappropriate. I've no problem with people being proud of their accomplishments, so long as they don't water down greater accomplishments to bolster their own. For the same reason I'm not fond of people comparing their trivial plight or just something they oppose, to the Holocaust. As Ocasio-Cortez did with the migrant caravan shutdown.

So Alexandria, keep doing you boo, you're the only one who can.

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