Funny thing about the film industry is that it’s all about communication. And all about being really clear about what you mean.

When I wrote this article back in the mid 1990’s I had no idea that it would catch on so quickly, and become the hallmark of how the film industry is anything but clear. If you have any additions to this list, please add them into the comments box below.

Enjoy

Elliot Grove

London May 2019

People in the film industry love to use the word YES all the time – but rarely does the word YES mean a yes. The usual meaning of the word YES is the word NO.

YES means ‘yes’, when it is attached to one of the following two phrases:

– Yes, could I please have details of your bank?

– Yes, get your lawyer to call our head of business and legal affairs.

The word ‘NO”

People in the film industry are always reluctant to use the word No in case you become an overnight success.

For example: Raindance student Guy Ritchie was turned down by every single UK financing source when he was trying to finance his first feature: Lock Stock and Two Smoking Barrels. When the movie became a critical and commercial success, several people who had turned him down were fired.

Lo-To-No Budget Filmmaking weekend masterclass Why wait for a NO when you can make your movie yourself, with much less money than the film industry would need!

How they say “NO” in the film industry



Thus the common expressions of the word NO are:

Yes. I really like it.

Don’t call me I’ll call you.

That is really good. Let me kick it around here in the office and get right back to you.

The only time a “yes” means a “yes” is when you get money.

Some definitions of commonly used words:

VERBS: to schmooze = befriend scum

to pitch = grovel shamelessly

to brainstorm = feign preparedness

to research = procrastinate indefinitely

to network = spread misinformation

to collaborate = argue incessantly

to freelance = collect unemployment NOUNS: agent = frustrated lawyer

lawyer = frustrated producer

producer = frustrated writer

scriptwriter = frustrated director

director = frustrated actor

actor = frustrated human COMPOUND WORDS: high-concept = low brow

production value = gore

entry-level = pays nothing

highly qualified = knows the producer

network approved = had made them money

being discovered – you got a cheque FINANCIAL TERMS: net = something that apparently doesn’t exist

gross = Michael Eisner’s salary

back-end = you, if you think you’ll ever see it

residuals = braces for the kids

deferral = don’t hold your breath

points = see “net” or “back-end” COMMON PHRASES: You can trust me = You must be new

It needs some polishing = Change everything

It shows promise = It stinks rotten

It needs some fine tuning = Change everything

I’d like some input = I want total control

It needs some honing = Change everything

Call me back next week = Stay out of my life

It needs some tightening = Change everything

Try and punch it up = I have no idea what I want

It needs some streamlining = Change everything

You’ll never work in this town again = I have no power whatsoever If you have another way they say “NO” in the film industry please leave in the comments box below!