So over the Summer I asked a few of the top brass at Barstool if they would want me at the Winter Olympics in South Korea come February.

“Yep” they replied.

Then in November I asked again just to confirm they would indeed still want me at the winter Olympics for the whole games, Feb 9th-Feb 26th.

“Yep” they replied.

“Is there any way I’d be able to get a press pass or media pass for them?” I asked.

“No chance” they replied.

And boom that’s how I became Barstool’s Official Winter Olympic Correspondent for the 2018 Pyeonchang games.

Still have no idea what my budget is and apparently I won’t be able to bring a camera anywhere near the actual games without a press pass but you can bet your ass I’ll be covering them. It should help that the entire Men’s Hockey team and Bobsledding team are big time stoolies so at the very least expect some in-depth reporting on those two sports. Also expect a lot of footage of me interacting with fans from all over the planet and eating outrageous amounts of fried chicken (South Koreans makes the best fried chicken on the planet and you can tell every fat black grandma from the South I said that).

I have to say though, there was a time where it looked like both North Korea and Russia would not be competing in the games and I was a bit disappointed. As Dave Portnoy once said in his scorching hot “Do The Olympics Need ISIS” blog: “The Olympics only work when you despise your opponent. When it’s literally a life and death situation.” Well with all the hoopla around Kim Jong threatening to nuke us and Russia rigging our elections it looked like the US would finally have some proper enemies at the games. But then I heard Russia got banned for it’s extensive state backed doping program and realized North Korea has been too busy building nukes and getting their dicks sanctioned off to compete in the Winter Olympics since 2010. Bummer.

However, the tides would soon change. During his New Years speech Kim Jong announced:

“North Korea’s participation in the Winter Games will be a good opportunity to showcase the national pride and we wish the Games will be a success. Officials from the two Koreas may urgently meet to discuss the possibility”

and BOOM, just like that, North Korea was back in the ball game, or shall I say ice rink, as the only athletes they will be sending to the game are the infamous figure skating duo Ryom Tae-ok and Kim Ju-sik (Ryom is the chick by the way).

They also may be sending Moranbong, a pop group described as North Korea’s military themed version of the “Spice Girls.” (Can you believe Senator Lindsey Graham wanted the US to withdraw from the Olympics because North Korea would be sending two figure skaters and an all female pop group? Talk about a snowflake.)

And then my buddy who lives in South Korea asked me if I wanted to go to the US vs Russia men’s hockey game Feb 17th. “What?? Isn’t Russia banned?” I asked.

Well, as it turns out, Yes, Russia IS banned from the olympics, but Russian athletes aren’t.

“Russian athletes can compete in the 2018 Games in Pyeongchang, South Korea, the IOC said Tuesday — but the athletes will have to pass strict scrutiny, and instead of wearing their nation’s uniform, they will compete under the title “Olympic Athlete from Russia (OAR).

Russia’s flag won’t be displayed at the opening ceremony and if “OAR” wins any gold medals they will play the olympic anthem instead of the Russian anthem and the official record books will forever show that Russia won zero medals. (NY TIMES)

I’m cool with this as having Russia around will make for a more exciting Olympics but this punishment is kind of bullshit. Who cares if they can’t wave Russian flags and bump the anthem on the podium, if the “Olympic Athletes from Russia” win a gold medal the entire world will see that as “Russia” winning a gold medal. Just ask Ilya Kovalchuk, who plans on playing for “OAR’s” hockey team:

“Everyone knows where we’re from. It doesn’t matter. The flag is in our heart.” – Ilya Kovalchuk – thestar).

Speaking of hockey, OAR is going have a pretty damn solid squad too as unlike the NHL, the KHL is breaking for the games so stars like Datsyuk and Kovalchuk can compete. Well folks, it looks like it’s up to a bunch of Stoolies in Red, White and Blue to make sure that Russia doesn’t bring home Gold the year they were supposedly “banned from the Olympics.” #MIRACLE2K18 #LFG!!