Lucki is shameless about his pain. Whether the 22-year-old Chicagoan—born Lucki Camel Jr.—is rapping about his bouts with depression and anxiety, his role in sabotaging his romantic relationships, or his prescription drug addiction, he refuses to hide his flaws. His candor about his life lows has made him a relatable antihero to a loyal cult following of fans who regularly take to social media with comments like, “Lucki changed my life” or “Lucki gets me” whenever he releases new music or opens up about his struggles publicly. He is an avatar for his fans’ sadness and songs like “@Night” and “Peach Dream” are snapshots of the life of a troubled young rapper who has been within arm’s reach of stardom for years but, because of his demons, has never fully embraced it.

Back in 2013, Lucki—then known as Lucki Eck$—was supposed to be the next big thing out of Chicago. Chief Keef had already made his mark as the face of a burgeoning drill scene, Chance the Rapper was anointed the softer-edged and more easily accessible alternative to drill’s street-inflected sound, and the then-16-year-old Lucki existed somewhere in between. His “alternative trap” sound was typified by his breakout single “Count on Me” which paired clever metaphor and simile-laced rhymes about drug-dealing with a woozy backdrop of a beat produced by Hytman. “Count on Me” and its dreamy, slow-motion music video received co-signs from the likes of Justin Timberlake and Pharrell. The subsequent Alternative Trap mixtape was a further introduction to Lucki’s sedated, dry-voiced flow—a flow that was the prototype for the narcotized vocal styles that became the hallmark of so-called SoundCloud rap years later. But, despite all the exposure, Lucki’s mental health struggles and drug habit at the time slowed his momentum, causing him to take a break from music in late 2016.

Lucki also became a first-time father that year. In preparation for the birth of his son and motivated by the desire to be a good dad, he tried to come to terms with his addiction. Lucki officially returned from his eight-month-long hiatus from music with his decidedly self-aware project, Watch My Back. The tape drew inspiration from another artist who struggled with drug addiction and complicated emotions—Future. “Getting high really affected my music and my relationships,” Lucki says. “And Future helped me understand what I was going through.” During Future’s Monster to DS2 run, the Atlanta rapper perfected his use of music as an outlet to detail the effect drugs had on his relationships and his development as a human being. A lifelong student of the art form, Lucki took note: “I had to be relatable and really put my life out there like Future,” he says. “I know getting high is bad, but Future made me feel like we were all in this together, and I wanted people to feel about me how I feel about Future.”

Now, after crafting a bleaker sound and leaning even further into his own truths, Lucki is preparing to release his long-awaited project Freewave 3 in February. The project focuses on a year in Lucki’s life as he navigates love, heartbreak, and struggles with addiction, all while acclimating himself to new surroundings in New York City.

Pitchfork: I know a lot of your time in the last year or so was spent in New York. What brought you here?

Lucki: [Laughs] I was in love.

Did it work out?

Shit was just so cool, bro. We was together for like a year and a half. Like really whipped up together, getting money together. It was all fun. But the problem with that shit was just me. When you get high and [go through] withdrawal and shit, it can make you just become a really bad person. You end up taking it out on the people that love you and they really can’t be around you.

So it was the drugs?

Yeah. Like I’m pretty much a good person. I got a son, he just turned two and I had a good dad growing up, so I am [being one] too. It’s just that I be getting high.

Is that relationship’s end what made you go back home to Chicago?

I needed to go home and be around real friends and shit. I was fucked up in the head. In New York, I was having withdrawals so bad and it took a toll on her. I didn’t deserve her, I was a super bad boyfriend. I grew up an only child so I was selfish and always wanted everything my way. But I was on tour [Days B4 Tour] when my heart broke. It didn’t really affect my performance but that’s when I really started appreciating the love from fan meet-and-greets and shit.

Did your close friends know what you were going through?

I would just get really sad [going from] state to state. And I would just wear it on my face. All the time you just gotta tell yourself to breathe and relax. But people knew something was wrong with me after when I went back home to Chicago. I was getting super high and that’s when I started making the second half of Freewave 3.