I recently posted a dissertation explaining the mechanics of 3x levered funds on WSB because everyone loves them and no one has one goddamn clue as to what the instruments are. I quickly learned no one wanted to read 88 pages. Apologies; I come from a world where explaining every aspect of a strategy is necessary when pitching corporate investment arms and sovereign wealth funds.

Fear no more YOLOers, you’re too stupid for an explanation, so I’ll just tell you how to trade them. If you think the price of gold will provide favorable conditions for mining stocks to rally over a given period of time, go long $NUGT and swing $DUST to hedge the periods of time when $NUGT tests resistance on theway up. Do not go long $DUST expecting it to return to historical prices, even if gold (and hence mining stocks) go into reversal. 3x levered bear funds decay. You didn’t want to spend an hour reading why, so you’ll have to take my word for it. Use 3x levered bear funds only as a hedge or to juice a day trade. Period.

You’re still going to end up buying high and selling low, which means I just wasted 4 minutes of my life, but you guys crack me up, so it’s the least I could do.