Main Street Marijuana in Vancouver, Washington is busy on a Sunday afternoon. There are probably 25 people in the store, mostly younger but nice to see some old people around (I don’t know why but it’s good to see people in their 60s and 70s getting on board with this). There is a circle of counters they use to show off their wares with mostly edibles up front — perfect. After a couple minutes someone behind the counter asks if I know what I want, and I rattle off a list of edibles, which I pay for in cash and wait on a cushy sofa off to the side while my order is finalized and they call my number.

It’s legal, but weird to walk down a street holding a big bag of weed stuff, and of course a cop drives by before I get to my car. It’s weird to drive with it in your car, even though it’s legal in Washington and technically legal in Oregon (though hasn’t rolled out yet — no pun intended).

4:30pm: I bust out a $17 chocolate chip cookie with 10mg of indica weed in it. The package says if you’re new to it, to only eat 5mg at most, and that it’ll take 30–60 minutes to start showing effects which should last 3 to 4 hours.

I break the cookie in half and promptly eat half of what tastes like a homemade chocolate chip cookie with a tinge of skunky smell to it. The taste is pretty close to a normal cookie but there’s an undertone of something in the chips. I don’t feel anything at all when I’m done. I wait.

5:00pm: Still nothing, but that’s to be expected. Just to be clear, I am home alone all week, so this is fairly safe, no one to embarrass if I’m stoned out of my gourd as the wife and family are states away on a trip while I stay home to work. I really want to eat the second half cookie but everything says wait an hour to see if you “don’t feel high enough” before ingesting more so I don’t accidentally over-Dowd myself, but 10mg seems like a low dosage. I’ll wait until 5:30 to see.

5:30pm: Still nothing. After googling a bit, I find forums saying 10mg is a good base, some people can handle up to 30mg. I go ahead and eat the rest of the cookie and start re-watching Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt episodes on Netflix.

5:54pm: I just ate two hot dogs and five pieces of pizza. I don’t feel too much, but I am starving. A few minutes later I can tell I’m full, but I like the feel of food in my mouth and I just keep eating from a Costco-sized bag of pita chips. The crunching sounds nice. Crunch. Crunch. Crunch.

6:20pm: Holy crap, I’m stoned out of my gourd.

The remaining responses were all posted to a private Slack channel with friends from 6:20PM through 11PM:

ok. I’m super high • this isn’t super pleasant • time seems to be slowing • down and jumping around • I feel drunk-ish

I was watching TV and my wife called me on the phone. It felt like I’d just woke up. I was basically incoherent and she hung up on me and I don’t remember anything I said to make her hang up.

This is the precise moment feeling super high started, at 6:25PM. I had to check my phone later on to see if the call really happened (it did).

Man time is funny • I keep feeling out of body • Everything feels like it’s in the future but not • I can’t remember if I can’t remember. • My head weighs a ton • I’m super high. Going to sleep for a bit. • My whole body tingles • Waves of sharpness • It’s really weird • I keep thinking I’m not high but then I am • My right side weighs a ton • Did I go upstairs or was I downstairs THIS WHOLE TIME

I was starting to lose memories. After walking around the house and returning to a living room couch, I couldn’t remember if I really did leave the couch or just imagined it...

Everything is like a thought inside of a thought • Out of body experience over and over • I wish this was over • This isn’t a good feeling • I keep recalling words and phrases • My vision is weird • Is this really happening? • Everything feels spacey • It seems impossible to get up and turn off a light switch

A friend called me asking if I wanted to hang out but I had to tell him I was so high I couldn’t get up off the couch. I wanted to turn off the lights and turn up the heat, but I was anchored to a sofa, laying on my back for hours.

Disjointed real life fake life • Weight on my chest • I’m tired but not warm • I guess this is really high • It’s hard to stay awake • Everything is crazy • these minutes are going by slow

I remember looking at a clock and thinking these thoughts and watching TV and returning to the clock and only a minute or two had passed when it felt like hours.

its like being super super drunk • The cats keep fighting • Sleeping feels like a huge dude is sitting on top of you • Waves of sharpness • My mouth is dry • I have to remember everything 20 times to remember here • I’m ok. • Maybe I’m coming down. • Still feeling like I have reserve déjà vu

“Reverse deja vu” is how I felt watching TV shows, as I convinced myself that I’d already seen every show, even live, new episodes. Everything felt familiar and I swear I knew what the next scene would be in any TV show and I got bored by knowing everything ahead of time.

I’m watching tv • Using a Tivo is hard while high • The pictures go by soooo fast • Glad slack is easier while high • I’m still hungry • How do people drive like this • I took 10mg and that was maybe too much • Doh • Still super high but going to sleep now

I finally went to sleep at 10:41PM. I didn’t really feel much better, and I had lots of fitful sleep filled with weird dreams and nightmares. My last message to friends was posted at 4:48AM when I woke up suffering dry mouth:

I’m just now feeling normal again after hours of weird dreams