Once upon a time, in a far off internet...

-TH3J35T3R-

Depending on how new you are to the whole hacking thing, you either know or don't know who th3j35t3r is. This is an issue that comes up a lot since he is part of a long list of try hards, whom also confirmed by JoshTheGod blows just as hard [See Josh and th3j35t3r bromance].

So what's the big deal about this th3j35t3r guy? Well he performs Denial of Service attacks and goes after terrorist sites in his spare time between beers and looking into the mirror while playing We Are The Champions by Queen.

-Tango Potato-

So just why is he so famous for doing denial of service attacks you ask? No one knows. Back in 2009 he cashed in on that claim to fame when those methods were still semi legit in the hacking world. As you see through his time line, when one method of hacking gets boring to his audience, he tips his magic hat and a mystic smoke fills the room. After a half hour of clicking noises from abusing copy paste, the smoke clears and where his old program once stood a new one with brand new vigor for justice stands in it's place.

-Mentality Of A Joker-

Many would question what exactly is th3j35t3r's verbal ammunition against other people and his sworn enemies. Well very simply being a mimic would answer that question. If he is pointed out for hanging on X's coattails, X is now hanging on his coat tails, if X shows that he almost never does tango downs anymore, he will say X no longer does own said mission, If X says th3j35t3r is a script kiddie, X is now a script kiddie.

th3j35t3r is much akin to that annoying kid from grade school who couldn't make his own arguments but his less than decisive thinking lemming click will hang off every word that comes out of his mouth even though they just heard it from someone else minutes ago.

-Clown Method-

Since the beginning of time man has wondered how th3j35t3r dances around so much bullshit he himself creates. By this, we mean he creates so many logical fallacies by himself that Socrates must be rolling over in his grave. th3j35t3r is not known for defending his own arguments. He lets his loyal lemmings and parrots do that for him. That way if his followers say something to disprove a dissenter that th3j35t3r is afraid to get into an argument with and it contradicts what is actually true, then he can sit there and say he never said it himself, even though he may retweet and repost the holy hell out of it and make it look like the truth.

The last time th3j35t3r got into an argument outside of the holy grounds of his own timeline, he made up 88 excuses an hour and we started to see some serious shit "See Crystal M. Craven drama below".

th3j35t3r's timeline is a holy place "Like Watch Tower Magazine" that must never be tarnished by trolls. By trolls we mean people who tell the truth and don't cling to his every word. As th3j35t3r says, "It's his timeline and if he doesn't want you in it, you won't be". Which translates to, if you uncover his bullshit, he will demonize the hell out of you in his own timeline so his followers never see your side of the argument.

Many other deceptive methods are used by th3j35t3r to lead his followers astray, but one thing is always for certain and that is the fact that everything which comes out of his mouth is a lie

-Actual Worth-

Truth be told, th3j35t3r is very comparable to a Mac computer. Where as Macs take up such little share of the computer market, th3j35t3r takes of very little share of the internet where anyone would take "Give-A-Fuck Land" into consideration. He claims his actions "Which are not done be the man himself" speaks for themself. If this would be the case there would be no reason for him to toot his own horn every breathing moment of his life on his Twitter, IRC and Wordpress account.

Much like Apple will take an already existing form of technology and call it something else that is absolutely REVOLUTIONARY "And then charge you 1000+ dollars for it", th3j35t3r will take credit for something that already exists "See PLG defamation below" and then push on about it for eternity as if Jesus Christ has just returned from heaven to present us with The Internet 2.

Simply said, th3j35t3r is greatly hated in many infosec communities due to the fact that real infosec experts realized that he is full of horse shit and can't into linux. Hackers hate him because of his self absorbed attitude. Much like Apple once again, our hero is a very jealous man. When one party gains more attention than him and takes the spotlight he leaps into action to demonize them in a negative like "Much like Apple did with Google".

Anonymous? Terrorists. Lulzsec? Script kiddies "Publicly humiliated him on Twitter". Occupy Wall Street "When they were still trying to convey a message"? Horrid hippies that need to occupy a job. The people responsible for the Team Poison V&ings "See below"? Trolls that aren't worth his time or salt. The list goes on, but our heroic fuehrer must not be outdone and we are to worship only one God and it is him. Because when we don't he shall smite us all with divine wrath.

"Throw a tantrum on Twitter and get his socks to scream at people for him".

-His Lemmings-

One questions how an obvious liar could hold onto such a vast group of people for such a long time. The answer is, he doesn't. Many have spread rumor that he is actually the love child of Steve Jobs and The Joker. Where as Apple users who are new to Apple's blatant bullshitery will try a product, regret it and then get an Android. Much is the same for many of th3j35t3r's followers who will follow him, listen to his stories and then unfollow him and log off the internet smarter. Many of th3j35t3r's followers on Twitter have been claimed to be bots. Many of these assumptions are backed up, because when you look at his followers, it looks like he loves cooking with Eggs.

-So who really IS this guy?-

That's the mystique about th3j35t3r. Nobody knows for sure. There have been many doxes, but in the hacking world a dox is almost always 100% proven when people come to their house for Trick or Treat dressed up as the FBI. For th3j35t3r however, he tries "The key word here is try" to stay on the legal side of things. Usually failing miserably. But that's beyond the point. th3j35t3r has yet to be arrested for his obvious crimes against the internet.

-Wounded Warrior Boogaloo-

One of the few things the man does that actually have a positive effect on the internet is his mindless whoring of the Wounded Warrior Project, which in reality isn't a bad thing. The problem is the prostitute that is turning triCks for the WWP. Ironic to this fact, he also has a bit coin Tip Jar which to this day has hilariously barely been touched. th3j35t3r proclaimed once that someone had donated seven whole US dollars to his BC jar and that he was going to use it for "research" of PLG "See below". The fact that he claimed to use seven dollars to research an open source program that is already perfectly working leads us to believe he meant it was going to use it on lunch while trying to figure out who to actually use Beef.

-Claims to fame-

He wrote a custom DoS tool, which he named XerXes - XerXes looks to be Pyloris with a GUI.

He has a tool dubbed "Saladin" that permanently takes a site down (Until they restore from backups) - This was brutally exposed when SanguineRose discovered that all the sites hit by Saladin had just had their domain registrations expire.

Modified LOIC to expose users IP - Never happened, unknowing users where exposed by default, because LOIC is a skid tool and doesn't hide IPs.

Infected DHN.zip - Never happened. AnonymousDown found the file, th3j35t3r asked Tyrkoil to write his blog post claiming that he (th3j35t3r) had modified the file.

AnonOps hack - Didn’t directly take credit, but reposted the nick database 6 months later and not only did he do nothing to correct people who thought it was his work, but he refused to give credit to Hack The Planet when pressed. This lead to consequences for some of his channel ops and other big-name supporters.

Packeted Wikileaks - He says XerXes generated 10 gbps of ddos, but he probably bought ddos power from Russian cybercriminals.

Packeted LulzSec’s Server - Again, never happened. This was later confirmed by Matthew Prince, CEO of Cloudflare, during Defcon 19.

Packeted the Westboro Baptist Church's website - At best, he did hit them at first, but lied about giving them continual ddos when the Phelps family took the server down for a while.

Tripoli Post hack – Used a known vulnerability as XSS (Cross-site scripting) to inject a photo that looked similar to an actual article. (Target Site | Image Source | XSS Effect) This will only work if you use the link he provided. No, he didn’t actually hack into the Tripoli Post web servers.

Doxed Sabu - He famously got Sabu's identity wrong, and apologized for it. When Sabu was outed as an FBI informant, he edited his blog post to remove all credit to ReaperSec for steering him in the right direction.

-Doxbin Drama-

In mid-April of 2012, th3j35t3r posted a poorly formatted rip-off of the AnonOps nick database that Hack The Planet released back in November 2011. When @doxbin called him out on this via Twitter, he refused to even acknowledge that he lifted the database from a previous release. From there, drama ensued, and subsequently @mach2600's dox were dropped. She was selected because of all the people in his IRC channel, she was the one who had his ear more than anyone else. This sent jester into a white knighting rage because he thought if he defended the girl on the internet, she would have sex with him. The flames were further fanned when nachash told him that if he didn't apologize to HTP and give credit, that mach's social security number would also be dropped. At this point, even more white knights jumped in, and random name calling and threats of dox dropping occured for roughly a week.

After the poor little jester lemmings had worn themselves out with hard tweets and threats to dox nachash, dox on a good number of jester's channel operators and big-name supporters were dropped. This concluded the end of th3j35t3r's internet sissyfight with doxbin. He realized that there was nothing he could do, offensively or defensively. With that, he decided to stick his head in the sand and pretend nothing had ever happened

-The Price Is Wrong-

On 5/12/12, SanguineRose made a blog entry on ReaperSec's blog, in which he detailed how almost all of the sites jester had claimed to use "saladin against" had expired domain registrations. Jester put up a placeholder blog entry, in which he promised a detailed explanation of what saladin was and what it does. By the next day, the blog entry had been deleted, as had all tweets that referred to it.

On 5/13/12, ReaperSec's blog delivered another critical blow to th3j35t3r's credibility. Not long after that, a sockmuppet going by @cubespherical emerged, after having deleted a bunch of pro-jester tweets and claimed that he had th3j35t3r's dox, and would drop them for the small, one-time sum of 20,000 bitcoins (Worth roughly $100,000 USD at the time). This lead to some cleverly staged Direct Messages. By 5/14/12, th3j35t3r had deleted both his Wordpress blog and Twitter account, and gave the Internet a long-awaited victory. But wait, there's tinfoil

Some argue that @cubespherical may actually be th3j35t3r, and this is all an elaborate ruse to get his enemies to send him money (and will use a portion of the proceeds to donate to his charity of choice: The Wounded Warrior Project).

On May 16th, 2012 th3j35t3r reemerged, re-publishing all of his blog posts and reactivating his Twitter account. He published a long winded blog post that said a lot but explained nothing, except that he deactivated his accounts so that he could "observe". Experts agree that since his plan to cash out and quit the Internet forever was blown by the fact that nobody cares enough about him or his dox to donate a single bitcoin, that the obvious next step was to come back into the spotlight and "pwn" his own sockpuppet.

-Team Poison Vaccine-

In early April of 2012 Team Poison leader TriCk shot a few insults to th3j35t3r. So th3j35t3r got in one little fight and his mom got scared and said he's moving with his auntie and uncle in Birmingham. th3j35t3r promised divine retribution against TriCk and the rest of his junior league would be Jihadists, but th3j35t3r realized he couldn't do it alone. So so he shamelessly took credit for the work of real hackers on Twitterland. Mainly big player figures in the TP doxings such as @SHG_Nackt and @le_researcher. Sadly for th3j35t3r he stole credit for a dox that was only half way right and was made a fool for it. While TriCk's location was iron clad, his true identity was NOT that of Robert West, but that of Junaid Hassan. th3j35t3r never referenced it again and acted as if it never happened complete with deleting tweets.

-UG Nazi Summer Fun Time-

Near Early June 2012 the group UGNazi, who's most polarizing claim to fame was that they defaced sites and got more attention than they deserves for it, went after th3j35t3r's favouritest site in the whole wide world [Wounded Warrior Project] and did a Tango Down of their own. th3j35t3r was furious, But it wasn't until another UGNazi member by the name of Cosmo would post on twitter on June 7th that he was going to court on June 30th. th3j35t3r lunged right into the situation not thinking of the outcome and said that on June 30th Justice would be served. While everyone with a brain could see that th3j35t3r was banking on Cosmo's already existent court date to take credit for him going to court, his followers were too busy championing their hero to pay any mind to common sense and timelines outside of th3j35t3r's own timeline. Sadly th3j35t3r bet it all on Duke and as of today only 1 UGNazi member was arrested and that one was arrested for reasons below.

For almost an entire month th3j35t3r spent his time throwing insults at JoshTheGod of UG Nazi and at the time Leader as well. While th3j35t3r left his audience on the edge of their seats in suspense by posting small tid bits of information about Josh, people in the background letting th3j35t3r dig his own grave were too busy laughing at the falsified shots in the dark he was making.

In this time th3j35t3r claimed Josh was his real name while it turned out to be Mir Islam.

He also claimed he lived in NZ when Josh was clearly in NY. He deleted the tweet instantly after an eagle eye pointed it out.

Many mistakes followed in what was probably th3j35t3r's biggest blow to his credit in ages. Days early of th3j35t3r's Justice Serving date JoshTheGod was arrested since Josh apparently took a number with the FBI in a large scale sting on a fake carder forum and didn't know how to shot web. undaunted by this th3j35t3r still shamelessly took credit for the sting until another hacker named @SHG_Nackt called him out on it and pointed out all his neat little faults in a single package.

Jester altered his tweets to give the FBI credit for arrested Mir Islam while still standing on the pedestal of a hero.

-That's So Craven-

During the same time th3j35t3r was dealing with UGNazi a huge blow to his ego was delivered when not only his previous emails but VPN services, Twitter RSS Feed, and other other fun goodies were dug up from his treat bag all showing he was far less secure than he once boasted. The person claiming credit to the leak was Wize and th3j35t3r is noted for NEVER going after him for revenge. Which is funny seeing that a single denial of service attack = big deal, but hacking his box = cannon fodder. After a few days of a blackout and not a word from the man himself, th3j35t3r was busy at work in his batcave to write up a new defense for his obvious security breach. The grand plan? It was all just as planned. Wait what? Exactly as he said, He planned it out all ahead of time and that he "Sanitized" the accounts and set them up as booby traps or "rabbit holes" as he put it in line with his strange recent Johnny Depp fetish. However time would prove that his old emails were as sanitary as a pig. People dug up many emails of people whom he talked to personally. The star of this being Crystal M Craven. th3j35t3r's reaction to this was similar to coming out of cardiac arrest. He not only fell over his own timeline, Twice. He also changed up his story 5 times.

First it was Craven was a sock puppet he created and made a cheap shot by calling her Crystal Meth Craven, raising his douche level to an all time high. The real @crystalmcraven however was not playing ball and was not happy with the negative attention she was gaining from th3j35t3r's poor psyop.

The story then changed to the fact that he talked to her two years ago. Again Craven denied.

Then he changed the story into a psychedelic clusterfuck of Anons having time machines and trying to Psyop him with a fake email account of Craven long before her twitter account even existed. I wish i was shitting you.

After the third attempt everyone stopped caring, but th3j35t3r kept up the good fight for his own good [citation needed] name. After a week or so of it, everyone got tired of it, th3j35t3r swept the issue under the rug and it was never mentioned again.

-PLG Fame Whoring Is Magic-

After the sting of the JoshTheGod debacle, th3j35t3r needed a new zest for life to gain back many of his lost followers. So he did was he does best. Make another story. This time his new tool Project Looking Glass complete with a photo shopped picture of the open source program Beef and stolen logo from the REAL Project Looking Glass Charity. th3j35t3r was called out for his massive douche baggery so undaunted by his nay sayers he made up more fantastical fairy tails about how he did indeed smite JoshTheGod and no one else with PLG and hooked him 4 days before he started his near month long tirade against UGNazi and how he handed over an encrypted bin of information to the FBI's twitter about their "dox". Which would have held up well, if someone had not pointed out yet again that he thought JoshTheGod was in NZ long after he claimed to hook Josh's twitter account and that all his fake IP logs and photo shops didn't hold up in the court of common sense. The FBI's twitter never responded to him, and the paste was never mentioned again let alone opened once.

-Asherah's Wrath-

Some time after the PLG shit storm @AsherahResearch came out and about to call out th3j35t3r in his own big tent. This time however, she came with something few other trolls, anons or hackers that tried to dox th3j35t3r in the past were equipped with before. Facts and proof to discredit th3j35t3r in ways never before. In her picture album Tango Bullshit, she strategically picked th3j35t3r apart with his own time line and pointed out both the logical fallacies in his statements, but also the contradictions of what he stood for. This hurt th3j35t3r more than any other blow to him in the past since Tango Bullshit pointed out everything from why his programs don't exist to where his probable Man Cave is. In this time other users such as @SHG_Nackt and @Rencrypted ripped th3j35t3r a new one, whom both dismantled him psychologically and technically. His whole cover for his cult of personality was blown and his Tango Downs were systematically proven to be as real as gifts from Santa Clause.

th3j35t3r didn't take this bent over, or sitting down for this matter. In a massive dick move he posted dox of @AsherahResearch's husband and made many personal name calling attacks against her making her look obsessed with him and created a timeline about her as fictional as PLG, only less funny. He then went on to criticize her character about how she fails to watch her own kids and lashes out about the fact that he is indeed a kissless virgin and will never have kids. After his huge tantrum about her obsession and continuing to ignore his very borderline homo erotic obsession with JoshTheGod, th3j35t3r decided to write a huge blog about Asherah and go on to claim that she is not only negligent to her children, but she and her husband were also common criminals. This plan worked wonderfully as people quickly forgot about his lustful obsession with Josh. Soon after th3j35t3r deleted the blog and claimed she was no longer worth his time and to call the tirade quits. Which lasted a good half week. Rumor has it they have been sending pizzas to eachother's houses and ding dong ditching eachother ever since.

-Tango Blog-

Some time in late September th3j35t3r's blog was Tango Downed not once, but twice. When th3j35t3r got up out of the wrong side of his bed that morning, he looked up his blog only to find out he had fail. He instantly lashed out demanding his provider to answer questions he had about why his domain was Julian Assange'd and extradited from the internets. At first he has no idea what was going on. He then made claims he had an idea of what was going on. Then it turned into him making up a bogus backdoor which was lurking "wasn't" on his fantabulously script kiddie .TK domain. His provider showed him that he got the boot not only because of rampant infections effecting other people's computers through his own domain but also because he broke the Terms of Service. Yes they apply to Patriot Hackers for Good as well.

th3j35t3r went into a blind rage blaming everyone including @AsherahResearch with nil next to no proof. He blamed everyone but the right person. As time has shown us, detective work was never th3j35t3r's strong point. If it was, he would have already seen a related picture posted up on Twitter that already showed everyone's favourite prankster @Sanguinarious reporting th3j35t3r's blog for breaching ToS. It was too late for th3j35t3r to pull back his claims so he continued to blame @AsherahResearch and hope no one would notice.

In the mean time everyone was questioning how th3j35t3r's blog came to end up like this. Many proclaimed it was the man himself who had another motive up his sleeve to use his vast amount of followers like slaves in a brilliant bit coin mining scheme. Which would have been just well since his whole @cubespherical plot bombed. Perhaps someone else did it out of spite. Maybe @AsherahResearch really did do it.

http://pastebin.com/6DAL4sjj

...Or that. Winner, @Sanguinarious. Flawless Victory.

-Pirate This Tango-

In October of 2012, The Pirate Bay went down for unknown reasons. So the super hero of freedom "But not freedom of file sharing" th3j35t3r claimed to Tango Down the Pirate Bay. Sadly for th3j35t3r, not long after the claim, it was made public that in reality Swedish police had actually raided its ISP and the site was down for obvious reasons. th3j35t3r claimed he was only trolling and nothing was said after. The moral of the story? If file sharing is stealing from record companies, then so is claiming false Tango Downs on sites that real police actually took down.

-Double The Manning Double The Fun-

In late October of 2012, a twitter would be hacker named @FawkesSecurity who took credit for other Anon actions just as much as th3j35t3r himself, made a claim that a bomb threat would be carried out. The claim followed as:

http://pastebin.com/DKvrtiFU

Now anyone with a brain can look at this is see this is classic comical satire of an action movie. The first responder? You guessed it. th3j35t3r. He raged on for about a week about how he was going to take down the great threat to America. All the while posting information that was far from the truth of course. The most polarizing thing that th3j35t3r dug up was a VPS which he claimed was a paid VPN. Which was not only hilarious in the fact that it was useless information, but also the fact that our hacking super hero could not tell the difference between a VPN and a VPS just the same as American border patrol can not tell the difference between an illegal immigrant and a born citizen.

But if you call right now, we'll add in an extra sheet of tinfoil. A twitter user by the name of @LulzMouse had an in and out with th3j35t3r after calling out @FawkesSecurity on not only being related to th3j35t3r in some way but probably being a sock. As was seen from @LulzMouse during a DM he had with th3j35t3r whom was making threats on behalf of @FawkesSecurity

-Remember Remember The 5th Of November 1988-

On the 5th of November 2012, th3j35t3r decided to have an 80s flashback with ancient malware attacks in the style of 90's drive by malware links sent to Anonymous supporters by sending them Direct Messages over Twitter.

When confronted about the deed our hero left for the bat cave to figure out his next plan to save the planet. By this we mean he deleted his own Twitter account because people were vocally expressing that they had sent reports to twitter for his spreading malicious web links. He came back with another long winded blog post that laughed at everyone because they tried to have a malicious would be hacker banned, once again proving himself to be a massive dick.

-Operation Desert Shit Storm-

During mid November a great shitstorm hit between Israel and Hamas. So being the true American patriot he is th3j35t3r decided to support the people who are ruining the music and movie industry. He went on his normal march of tango downing sites. However this time, a different dark horse stepped forward to smack the proverbial cock out of th3j35t3r's mouth.

In one fell swoop a person on Twitter going by the name @R0bertwest showed that he was actually watching Montastic closer than th3j35t3r himself and calling out the tango downs before th3j35t3r even was. In one instance he made this comment:

https://twitter.com/R0bertwest/status/269144259049963520

@R0bertwest also confronted th3j35t3r on his deed, to which he was never given a formal response.

https://twitter.com/R0bertwest/status/271297176100036608

Four hours later, th3j35t3r called tango down on the site. Meanwhile everyone's favourite bullshit detector @SHG_Nackt already knew something was up with our home slice's tango downs. She decided to investigate and not only found out that the Gaza Strip was dealing with problems in their electric grid, but single handedly disproved th3j35t3r's tangos without a shadow of a doubt. More on the bitchsmack can be seen here:

http://www.twitlonger.com/show/k156ik

Like clockwork th3j35t3r realized it was time to sweep the subject under the rug again and count it up as a win for the good guys. Whoever they may be.

-How Do I DOS Web?-

In late November th3j35t3r made a huge sidestep from his previous earlier attempt at fame to make people forget. The cure? Focus on Anonymous again. Because we all know that all of th3j35t3r's past experiences with Anon has been pleasant ones. The claim? His blog was being DDOSd. The answer? He diverted the DDOS to Anon's base Occupy site. What? yes. We aren't bullshitting you. He claimed, his shields diverted faggotry of LOIC's magnitude.

It wasn't long before the regular players such as @Sanguinarious, @SHG_Nackt as well as many others called him out on his outstanding newfaggotry of not understanding how the basic botnet attack works.

@Sanguinarious was one of the first to jump into the pool so he could close it. He went straight for the neck as can be seen here:

http://pastebin.com/hjymrTA0

Meanwhile, @SHG_Nackt was busy playing with her food and tormenting it. She picked a different route to disprove the disgruntled clown and researched his own service provider for his blog as can be seen here:

http://www.twitlonger.com/show/k5rlpe

When th3j35t3r tried to disprove the villains who dare dirty his good name, he did a live action motion picture of diverting traffic again. Yes. He was already "expecting" certain "somebodies" to do it again. Right on "his command" like clock work. Once again @SHG_Nackt's common senses were tingling and called out th3j35t3r's magic trick as can be seen here:

http://www.twitlonger.com/show/k68pg1

Sooner or later th3j35t3r decided it was time to close up tent and try another show elsewhere. People however still did not forget the fact that he finally disproved himself on a massive scale, not only in the fact that he had no idea how Denial of Service attacks work, but that if he didn't know such basic info, he could not have been responsible for all his tango downs. This still didn't break the clown's stride and he pretended it never happened.

-One Of These Clowns Is Not Like The Other-

Some times people ask "What is th3j35t3r"? Well in laymen terms, multiple people behind one account. th3j35t3r in itself is not a single person or man. It is many people who claim to be th3j35t3r and hiding behind a false persona of a man that never existed. This is not to say that there are multiple people who make accounts to pretend they are the th3j35t3r, but there are multiple people behind th3j35t3r as a whole.

In that respect th3j35t3r is much like Anonymous as it seems everyone can also be th3j35t3r if they want to. And if not everyone, at least people who are extremely retarded can be th3j35t3r. There are many counts of th3j35t3r being many people. The difference between th3j35t3r and other hackers is not the fact that he is undoxable, but more so that he uses people "mostly people from his own court" as human shields as can be seen during the whole Doxbin drama. That being said, not all doxes on him are as "fail" as they first seem. They are like transformers. They are more than meet the eye, but just as undesirable at face value.

It is no secret that th3j35t3r also famously used Thomas Ryan as a human shield to protect his identity as well, @bitchiest having his PGP key, the list goes on. but where things get really juicy about proof of th3j35t3r being legion "of dumbasses" is the logs of him connecting to both Twitter and IRC.

In one occasion another offshoot anti th3j35t3r Anon pulled up a log of him using this as well most probably for his once thought invincible Word Press account.

http://www.networksolutions.com/whois/results.jsp?ip=173.236.153.139

Another case is @Sanguinarious having an encounter with The royal jester in his own court "IRC" and those logs showed that th3j35t3r connected with TOR and no SSL as can be seen here:

http://pastebin.com/GhvYdpUQ

And another gem from @Sanguinarious where he proves that th3j35t3r we know from Twitter is not th3j35t3r we know from IRC.

http://pastebin.com/w72b8BA4

Earlier in the summer of 2012 when Wise busted his box wide open he was seen with another paid VPN provider in this screenshot:

http://s1.postimage.org/5dcjrww0f/VPN_fail.png

So one has to sit here and think to themselves. Why would one person go to such lengths to dirty the water so it is so hard to find him? The TOR on IRC method is dated, retarded and easy to exploit and it is doubtful th3j35t3r is aware of SSL strippers either.

But having two different paid VPNs? Just silly.

It also shouldn't even need to be mentioned that his "lone wolf" claim gets thrown out to the curb not only with this observation but the fact that his closest court members are always conveniently there to put their neck out for their fuehrer and how he is always watching the people who are on the real case to take their information. At this point we figure that all goes without saying. But to say he is one person? You would have to be blind. Or stupid. Which most th3j35t3r followers are.

-InfoSec Shortbus-

In late October th3j35t3r decided to try and give himself some cred by releasing a list of some of his most used "OSINT tools" Which when looked at closer explains why he has never doxed anyone correctly.

The list includes Maltego, which is so wide spread and well known, it is clearly not exclusive to th3j35t3r. And judging by his poor doxing skills, it would seem he either doesn't use it, heard about it and thought it would be cool to make people think he uses it, or like Beef, had no idea how the fuck to use it in the first place.

Next up is Creepy, which is pretty much along the lines of retardation of looking at someone's Twitter locations and saying "Oh my, that's totally legit". Not even worth calling it a doxing tool let alone a tool at all.

Next in line is Spokeo. Yes Spokeo. The site so notorious for getting people's info wrong, it's good enough for th3j35t3r.

Runners up is also Casefile, Which is simply Maltego lite. So if you already have Maltego, why bother?

Recorded Future. Think of it as the Stock Market for the web. It's simply a tool for those too stupid to know the nature of what they are looking into and to lazy to do the research themselves.

But the grand shitball of it all, is the Foxone Scanner. Now it's no secret that th3j35t3r is known for stealing code, much like everything else he takes credit for,

http://pastebin.com/UfKgSPzg

But this mind numbing clusterfuck is the epitome of screaming I CAN'T CODE.

This horrible copy pasta do-it-yourself coding gone wrong was ripped a new one by @Sanguinarious As can be seen here:

http://pastebin.com/0pEu5gkT

-C.S.I. "Completely Stupid Idiot" Twitter-

In early December th3j35t3r must have been watching a CSI marathon on TV or something because he decided that hunting down terrorists was too mainstream and that going after normal twitter tough guys was the underground thing to do.

A man by the name of Frank James MacArthur was going on a rampage on his blogging broadcast about making threatening statements to officers over twitter and the internet, because that's how hardcore ballers do and KFC closed early.

http://www.baltimoresun.com/news/maryland/baltimore-city/bs-md-ci-waverly-barricade-20121201,0,3406641.story

It didn't take long for th3j35t3r to catch wind of this and cash in. He went on his usual doxing run. And by that, we mean watch what his followers are saying and put the 5 years old and up puzzle together all by himself with adult super vision. That adult super vision unfortunately was from an avid member of his IRC court, @Bitchiest. She was one the of the first responders to do the doxing for th3j35t3r in which he would take credit for.

@bitchiest attempted to do a look up for a criminal record for Frank in an attempt to get closer with th3j35t3r. But like all deals with the devil. This one had a barb.

http://i.imgur.com/MpJTs.png

Not only did she dox the wrong Frank and get charged for it as it seems, but closer inspection of this document shows a link at the bottom of the page that not only shows what state @Bitchiest lives in, but her driver's license number as well. th3j35t3r quickly deleted his tweets related to Frank shortly after his arrest and offered no apology or support for @bitchiest's deed.

-Grade School Mambo-

In mid December a Twitter account by the name of @Zomb13d came along pulling the average 4Chan troll tactics of mocking the dead children during the CT. School shooting. This of course like nature struck a cord with countless people making them revolt at the pictures of bloodied children. Whilst others were talking about it th3j35t3r took it upon himself to go into a white knighting rage and act as if this was the first time a troll of this nature ever happened in the entire universe and indeed was the spawn of sin. He then went on a tirade to have the account suspended.

The story ended on a fine note. Or would have if th3j35t3r not felt like he had to be the center of attention once again and pull out his bag of fail dox tools, thus ruining a once heart warming moment of relief and replacing it with another side of the same malice.

th3j35t3r decided to play Guess Who and started by looking at @Zomb13d's name and then trusted his greatest ally. Google search. Sadly the trolls were already playing Guess Who and decided that th3j35t3r looked like a bitch. He noticed there was a Steam profile of the same name. Lots of them. But he never said which. He then looked at his followers and along with his whole court did a massive google search on all the names and decided, hey these guys are friends, so i guess your friends can burn with you. Normally there would be nothing wrong with burning co conspirators, but in this case, there was never any proof shown that they actually were other than th3j35t3r's own word. And that's as good as..Well. You know the gist of it.

th3j35t3r Then started to harass the user @ICumBl00d since he couldn't dox @Zomb13d so he would go for the next best thing. Something completely unrelated. Further inspection of @ICumBl00d's Steam profile showed that he was never in any group named "Zomb13" let alone the fact had no friends on his list sharing that name either. In the end it turned out th3j35t3r pulled up a random name of a random follower of a random "must be" accomplice.

But in th3j35t3r's world he was infact a co conspirator. th3j35t3r Then went on to claim there were conversations going on between the two and others about this Twitter trollong mess. In the meantime, Other people were STILL trying to find this so called Zomb13 group that th3j35t3r was talking about, given the fact that there were MANY of them. th3j35t3r Never said which one and all requests to post a screenshot of the group were ignored, which was funny, because he didn't seem to have a problem posting other content either.

In this time th3j35t3r posted a partial phone number, claimed one of the trolls worked at a Dairy Queen among other retarded information that means nothing. He even claimed the guy lived in Indiana and confused the University of Indianapolis with the Indiana University and got shown up for his massive stupidity via Twitter by @ThomAtHome. So in the end of it all, th3j35t3r doxed no one and Twitter suspended the account as expected. Our hero saves the day again. But wait.

HERE COMES A DARE DEVIL!

Th reigning reich of unfree speech and douchedom, the Westboro Baptist Church figured they wanted more attention and had not sat on their thrones as the Kings an Queens of unfunny trolls for too long. They intended to picket the funerals of the children who died in the said school shooting.

Early on, th3j35t3r tuned up the Montastic and took credit for the WBC sites going down. Because it wasn't like Anonymous, The general population of the world, Hackers all over the net, police officers, fire departments and even the KKK weren't against them from the start.

During this time our hero th3j35t3r turned more into Th3j35t3r News Network as all he did was report what other people were doing while beating the same dead horse that he "Tango Downed" the WBC sites without ever showing a lick of proof. Things died down, the controversy simmered down and th3j35t3r went back to singing his own choir.

-Third Time's The Charm-

The new year came and went and everyone was happy making new years resolutions. th3j35t3r however, was making a resolution to become a bigger asshole than ever before and started the new year with a new scam.

He posted on his Twitter account @th3j35t3r a long list of tweets saying that he was selling his 3 year old AlienWare laptop and trying to build it up like it was some historic piece on the same grounds of being like it was one of the Holy Nails. He went on to post pictures where he shooped the whoop so hard he made extra sure to delete the exif data in them so people wouldn't notice that GIMP was used. Many falsehoods were pointed out in the pictures and the legit pictures he actually posted within his own timeline "which were deleted at sanic speed" can be seen here courtesy to @SHG_Nackt.

http://s2.postimage.org/6ity29yhl/Scamowned.png

The normal players jumped in and gang raped th3j35t3r DMC3 style. Only the difference between the Jester in DMC3 and th3j35t3r on the internet is one is entertaining and the other is a massive show boating faggot. But the idea of watching a clown get raped during a circus show entertains us greatly, so let's move on.

In this image alone he pulled a price right off of Ebay, He claimed that he "Sanitized" the whole computer. Because we all know he knows what to do when it comes to sanitizing" things right? Just ask Crystal M. Craven, she'll back us up. He claimed he installed Ubuntu 12.10 on it when in the screenshots it shows Windows. So th3j35t3r can't into linux it seems. He claimed it was "signed" and shows a signature in both screenshots, both painstakingly made to look as if they were in the same place. The big mistake was that his "signature" didn't even match his other two signatures from the past. Not like they matched each other either.

Original sources of the pictures can be seen here:

http://www.sulit.com.ph/index.php/view+classifieds/id/6804125/alienware+m11x?referralKeywords=alienware+m11x&event=Search+Ranking,Position,1-8,8

And here:

http://bluerimtech.blogspot.com/2010/04/alienware-m11x-review.html

This also backs up why he used an Exif stripper so people wouldn't see that he used GIMP on the pictures. But that didn't help him much. The usual players had their hands on some very high end technology. By that we mean Google Search and Tineye. People were instantly pulling up dozens of unshooped versions of the pictures th3j35t3r had posted. When this was happening th3j35t3r posted another picture from a different angle and people just pulled up that picture as well. So at this point it looks like th3j35t3r is now catching up to Indian scam artists in pulling stock photos from other people's blogs and saying it is his. He also claimed he won't sell it to Iranian or Chinese once again proving himself to be a senseless douch since he is still living under the insane delusion that "thum ther turrerests er out fer his head" as if he is even relevant to them.

He also claims that "the computer has 2x video cards, one of them being Nvidia". So our guess is that the laptop comes with a fire extinguisher? But wait, any technologically savvy person could know something is wrong here. Yes, even the mouth breathing troglodytes of Yahoo Answers know better.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index?qid=20100211161945AA3VRCK

https://forums.geforce.com/default/topic/460565/sli/running-2-different-graphics-cards/

Simply put. Mixing Nvidia with anything else? You're asking for trouble.

But wait there is more. If you order right now, we will throw in a one time offer of back pedaling absolutely free!

http://s14.postimage.org/obv395bv5/backpedalfail.png

That didn't take too long. Now if you look closely at his posts in his own blog "Where people can't conveniently call out his shit there", it also claimed he had an engraving on the bottom plate of his laptop. We don't think we should even have to point this out. He also has a check box at the bottom of his page for the buyer to "verify" this code. The big question is. Why?

Is he remotely holding the laptop hostage and the buyer can't use it until they fill in that code? Is there a more fiendish plot at hand? Or maybe th3j35t3r is once again trying to save face because he got called out and wants to look more legit because no one in hell would ever buy an old laptop "which is probably festering with malware since that's how he rolls" for the same price it's going for on Ebay right now.

What is even funnier is the fact that he said he thought it was funny that people actually expected him to post real pictures of "his" laptop on Twitter, yet posting a "real picture" on his blog flies just fine...Makes..Perfect sense?

All in all we think this tweets sums the whole clusterfuck up pretty nicely though.

http://s8.postimage.org/u2n0h6vp1/Virgin.png

-Pastor Of Muppets-

As if th3j35t3r didn't have enough problems with the accusations of him clearly using sock accounts, he once and for all proved it by tweeting a long winded rant to @asherahresearch across multiple tweets. What he didn't realize is that he herped so hard he derped on his tweetdeck and amongst those rants he posted to her from one of his sock accounts named @StaciePee in perfect unison with his real account.

-The Power Of 1000 Lies Descend Upon You-

Through out the years, a lot of th3j35t3r's self proclaimed programs that he "made" have been shown up as fakes and who would have guessed that the trend would keep going? However there has always been one little toy that has had speculation but many could never pin point or prove what it was. Well that is of course until @SHG_Nackt decided to look into the issue and put the pieces of this puzzle together once and for all.

The carnage of this tool being torn apart piece by piece can be seen here.

http://www.twitlonger.com/show/l07ot7

After a massive shit storm of butt hurt from Jester socks on Twitter, it became clearly obvious to people that coupled with his acts of showing that he knows jack about coding and he has proven that he doesn't even dos web, it sets there without question that he is eternally anal holocausted by this turn of events.

-Autism Craft-

Our retarded hero decided one day that it was time for a theme park. One of which he said would be educational for everyone to learn hacking. One of which never happened. Sadly he decided to go with the autismal choice of a Minecraft server, which to this day has not been used for anything else than a secret club hangout to fling shit at people th3j35t3r simply doesn't like and use it to forget the woes that he got told off in internet land again.

-Having A Blast In Boston-

2013 False Flag was beginning. Boston set us up the bomb. While everyone was looking at this event logically and thinking of how this could have happened, our hero decided to do what he does best. Blame brown people. This included pointing out random unrelated people on Facebook that had nothing to do with anything while everyone else was paying attention to the fact that many people at this event were out of place, Craft military contractors were present and the fact of where the explosions were coming from.

But this did not stop our hero. He spent a whole day pondering just who was seen on the roof tops during this horrid turn of events. Turns out it was police security. Who knew? So th3j35t3r had to do SOMETHING to get attention from people. So he decided to steal detective work from /pol/ on 4Chan since he couldn't play e detective worth a damn. So when that didn't work he tried his Tango Downs again and got called out as usual.

He never referenced his brave fake tangos or his master detective work again on his twitter.

-Will The Real WBC Please Stand Up?-

Our main man J dawg needed some rep after his nostalgic replay tactic backfired on him to the point that even his own followers didn't give a fuck. So what would he do to possibly fill the void? Attack WBC again. This time however the trick was different. He first claimed that he confirmed it was owned by WBC which would later backfire in his face for a multitude of reasons.

First of all, WBC never owned the domain and publicly announced this while making fun of th3j35t3r's attempt. The next is that the site was set up simply to look like it was "hacked". Like usual his followers ate the shit right up, but everyone else worth a damn in the hacking world already knew what was up.

http://www.twitlonger.com/show/n_1rke6ro

Instantly people started calling out th3j35t3r and reminding people that the WBC has never used service providers like Go Daddy before and the fact that the site was using such a cheap service provider made it too convenient. After that our patriotic soldier boy decided to clear his good name by using his other names and attacking people with sock accounts.

Now we know what you're thinking. This is bleeding out of his own timeline right? That never ends well. You're absolutely correct. It didn't end well. th3j35t3r got so desperate that he threw out a fake argument that his dissenters claimed that he made the domain five years ago to sit on it and wait for an opportunity to play this card. The fact was however, no one ever made this claim. He then went on to make a blog post about it and call out these fake comments and added in the ever so come back to bite you in the ass phrase "Ever hear of WhoIs?"

Sadly, everyone did. And every already had. He simply did not address those people and all of those points with records of the site's full history and the domain being sold was all put neatly into a single post by everyone's favourite bullshit detector.

https://twitter.com/SHG_Nackt/status/351248566389456897

-Shop 'Till You Derp-

Nothing says American patriotism like excessive spending and useless material waste. So when th3j35t3r realized that no one and not even his own loyal followers gave enough of a fuck about him to throw their money at him every time he tried to scam them he went on to follow the American dream. You have to actually GIVE them something in return to make them give a damn and gracing us with the joy of laughing at him all these years doesn't count.

Over charging for generic merchandise that even Sky Mall would be green with envy. Because every patriotic soldier sells his name on a forty dollar t-shirt right? Just in case seventy five dollar pillows and phone cases aren't your thing. He has to cater to everyone you know.

His choice of stores and reason for doing so is far more hilarious than the prices however. th3j35t3r claimed that he needed the money to pay for his servers and services he uses to protect his identity "we'd be asking for a refund'. Which is imperative to him using Zazzle for his sales which does not use secure currency transfers like Bit coin. But to pay for his servers? Which ones? The free Twitter account? Maybe he means the cheap as dirt mine craft server. Or perhaps the job at Mcdonalds isn't cutting it for the 20 a month of Cloud Flare's services.

But let's look at this logically. If he used all these VPNs, Proxies, Site services and so on for three or so years, then what is the problem? Why the sudden is money a problem now and why are WE expected to pay for him to be an immature show boating baby whiner that never shows any results and alienates his own fans? Our guess is that his mother kicked him out of the basement.

-Insane Clown Pussy-

In June a blog talk radio host named Joey Ortega was having a normal day talking about infosec on his show when suddenly without warning th3j35t3r happened. Our hero seems to have had one too many drinks during his crusades against Jihad and called up the show. What followed next was hilariously chronicled here.

https://twitter.com/SHG_Nackt/status/347445738160128000

th3j35t3r sobered up and reacted to this new bit of drama like a teenage girl on prom night who didn't get the shoes she wanted for the dance. th3j35t3r's drunkard ranting was not only on Joey's blog but for sale in another song using his voice samples. th3j35t3r knew this couldn't stand so he went about fixing this problem. In all the wrong ways. He started harassing Joey about the incident as if it was Joey's own fault and no one else'. He then pulled out all his sock puppets who in any shredded semblance of logic would not even know this shit was going on in the first place as it doesn't effect them in the slightest, and also start attacking Joey.

th3j35t3r then attempted to dox Mr Ortega. With all the information that is already publicly there. And still our hero failed to get it completely right. Noticing that Joey wasn't budging, th3j35t3r then attempted to DDOS his site and in a massive dick move try to get him fired from his job. All this because th3j35t3r called a radio station. What our hero did not realize was that in the fine print, Joey wasn't working for someone. He WAS Boss Nigga. From this time on th3j35t3r dropped the fight and does not mention Joey unless he feels the need to crack a cheap shot joke to make his audience divert their attention from his utter incapability to hack web.

-Over The Border-

For the longest time th3j35t3r was busy trying to entertain his ever changing audience with the same shenanigans. Sadly people still remembered that he had pulled those same tricks during yester years and brought them to the attention of th3j35t3r yet again and by showing his new comers to the big tent that these same tricks have no new imagination to them. By that we mean he never fixed what was wrong with them and he was still just as easily found out.

In this exciting episode Snowden was still trying to find out which airport he wanted to sleep in. Meanwhile the ever conspiring j35t3r was trying to cash in on his fame at every turn. From fake tango downs to email servers to site hacks. All were disproved and today was no different.

http://www.el-nacional.com/buscador/?text=%3CIMG+SRC%3D%22http://i.imgur.com/zCutvpY.png%203E

http://i.imgur.com/zCutvpY.png

th3j35t3r claimed to go after http://www.el-nacional.com/ which is hosted in Venezuela. He also claimed to deface it as well. But everyone already knew what was up with this magic trick since th3j35t3r is as capable as hacking as Glenn Beck is capable of not raping and killing a girl in 1991. In case you don't know, those aren't good odds. It turned out th3j35t3r was using a cheap XSS trick and was using short links to hide it so people clicking on the link would not notice and think the domain was actually defaced. He has pulled this same trick countless times and has failed to do so without backfire each and every time.

-Tango Clown -

In a not too distant future, somewhere in time and space th3j35t3r and his useless court had a DDOS slap his face. In this exciting episode our hero found out that his cloudflare service was not as strong as he once thought. Other REAL hackers were looking into his services and exploited them greatly with just a single line of code. While this was going on th3j35t3r needed to raise more money to purchase extra server protection from FBIFlare, truly our greatest ally. So to pay for this he needed to mindlessly whore out his over priced t-shirts more than usual. Seeing how he will post about them 50 times a week in the first place, he needed to step his game up. This attention to his fantabulously unsecure Zazzle shop however, did not come without a price.

@AsherahResearch decided to come out of nowhere and for some reason mention that th3j35t3r's logo was stolen "just like everything else in his timeline" and more so copy righted. Well th3j35t3r wasn't having this so he did what any logical person on the internet would do. Claim ownership to the Visa card in last year's big doxing of him by Wise to say he "bought" the logo fair and square. Now we know what you're thinking. th3j35t3r just inadvertently admitted to his own dox, is he stupid? To answer briefly..

Yes. He went on again and mentioned his doxing by Wise, Because we all know it's such a good idea to bring that to everyone's attention on your own timeline. And continuing to regurgitate that his accounts were "sanitized". He knew it was a bad idea to bring it up again, Especially when you know your own credit card is in those dox. th3j35t3r would have probably flied fine and just kept to the lie that he bought the logo, had he not specifically say that the card was his and not just borrowing it from someone or you know...Credit theft. Seeing how th3j35t3r steals everything else shamelessly.

Not only did he never show any proof he bought the logo, but many products from his store began to mysteriously disappear. Just like XerXes, Saladin and PLG. However, at the same time he claimed the card was a pre paid Visa gift card. Which only backs him FURTHER into a corner with evidence courtesy of @SHG_Nackt

http://postimg.org/image/b2knlu7fh/

He then went on to make the excuse that you could put any name and address you wanted on there which was not only not at all completely true, but it flat out states on the site's FAQ that these cards can NOT be used for international purchase. It's a well known fact who runs these joints and they ain't lettin ya into the Salty Spitoon until you prove to them how tough ya think y'er on the internet. And by that we mean some sort of identification.

The hilarity of this situation was to make matters worse, our drunkard hero called in ANOTHER PERSON while under the influence "of retardation" and gave them a little "background about him". This person, Rachel Marsden. A news reporter. She then not only went on to write an article on th3j35t3r but bitch slap him in the same article which can be read here.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/columnists/sns-201308061730--tms--amvoicesctnav-b20130806-20130806,0,592468.column

Like usual, th3j35t3r's court came out in full force to demonize, harass, discredit and put words in the mouth of Rachel. Funny how when he is showered with warrantless praise he is a ray of sunshine but the person who gives him the praise gets no perks, but as soon as you speak ill of his name it's like saying Voldemort in the Harry Potter universe. Only you get like 50 Voldemorts hilariously fucking up their spell. But enough about virgin fantasy heroes, lets continue talking about virgin fantasy heroes.

th3j35t3r couldn't keep the lid on this issue and it boiled over. So the best thing he could do in this situation? The harassment and disinfo didn't work, so the best he could do was the same he does to everyone else who has his number. Hide under the blankets and pretend the monsters don't exist. Truly a bad week for th3j35t3r.

-Why So Sryias?-

The year is 2013. It is a stingy world full of war politics and lies. This summer. one man will step up to make all those lies look professional in comparison. This year. th3j35t3r is, The Crying Clown. Rated R. For retarded.

The big fuss was Syria so like nature th3j35t3r went after the thing that would get him the most rep. And in doing that he once again took credit for someone else's work. This time our hero tried to take credit on the skidtastically SQLi'd SEA database that was dumped way back in 04/20/2013.

http://www.dailydot.com/news/syrian-electronic-army-hacked/

He tried his best to alter the info to make it look as if he did the dirty work but no one was buying it and people asked for a refund for their movie ticket after saying it was the worst film they had seen since The Adventures of Pluto Nash and they could just as easily sit at home and watch their kids pretend to do SQLi for free.

-Iraq The The Future-

It's obvious th3j35t3r is getting old in his age. He has been tango downing less and getting into far less fights with teenagers in crazy wild west dox offs. Many would speculate that he's just tired of taking the humiliating sweaty backdoor hammer time love making from all the teenagers who manage to outfox a grown man so called Former Military Computer Super God. Maybe he's simply bored with his muse. One thing is for certain and that we will still see much more of th3j35t3r. No matter what incarnation he takes on in the next world.

Troll.

Capn: Bitch.

Antagonist.

Ron Brynaert: I'M A FUCKING JEW!

Lover.

Josh: Bitch.

Gamer.

Notch: Get off my fucking servers.

Hacker.

FBI: Bitch.

Sock.

Tom: *Cock sucking noises*

Tourist.

Hugo: Perra.

Liar.

Vince: Bitch.

Script Kiddie.

TriCk: Bitch.

hacktivist.

Assad: Can't Mossad the Assad.

Corpse.

th3j35t3r: ...