For those that have missed this segment, this is a weekly series on Anaheim Calling to take a look at how various players on the team have fared. I will arbitrarily rank a random topic along on a scale of 1 to 5 stars and place different Ducks within the categories based on their performance over the past week. My reasoning for the rating of the Ducks will be based on stats, results, and probably some of my bias. My reasoning for the rating of the random topic will be completely biased #dealwithit. I will elaborate more on some players than others. I expect everyone to probably disagree with me on both topics and all of my takes will be outed. If there is something you would like me to rank please feel free to leave it in the comments. On to the fun!

The games included in the ratings for this week are Dec 31st against the Coyotes, Jan 2nd against the Canucks, Jan 4th against the Oilers, and Jan 6th against the Flames. I am going Saturday to Saturday for this past week, as opposed to Saturday to Friday in my usual rankings, due to this upcoming week being the bye week.

I am about to get an early start on my wedding diet by doing a Whole 30, which means no alcohol of any kind. In order to cope, I am going to rank various types of beers. There are lots of these so make sure to remember if I leave off your favorite type of beer, it is because I definitely hate it and it’s not just because there are too many to rank. Like past weeks, these rankings are 100% correct and no one can tell me otherwise.

5 Stars: IPAs, Session IPAs (My Favorites: Golden Road Point the Way IPA, Golden Road Wolf Pup Session IPA, Ballast Point Sculpin, Firestone Easy Jack IPA)

IPAs are definitely an acquired taste, but once that has happened oh boy are they amazing. They can provide so many different flavors, from a heavier feeling on a cold day to a fresh and fruitier version for a hot summer day. My discovery of session IPAs has been life changing also. They allow me to enjoy the wonderful taste of an IPA without getting too drunk.

Rickard Rakell & Ryan Getzlaf “Ryan Getzlaf, Ryan Getzlaf, Does whatever a Getzlaf can, Sets up goals, any type, Can score goals when he wants, Look Out! Here comes the Ryan Getzlaf”. Getzlaf and Rakell just keep doing Getzlaf and Rakell things. Getzlaf had 2 goals, 3 primary assists, and 1 secondary assist for 6 points in 4 games. Rakell had 3 goals and 1 secondary assist for 4 points on the week. The only negative thing you could say about these two this week is they had a sub 50% CF%, but these numbers really don’t tell the whole story. If we look at shot quality, their week looks a lot better number wise (Both players were above 60% in xGF%). Both Getzlaf and Rakell were as good as IPAs

Hampus Lindholm - Josh Manson - These two this week were right around 50% in CF%, but were well over 60% in xGF%. On top of that both had solid point production (Lindholm had 2 points and Manson had 3 points).

Ryan Miller - In Miller’s 1 game this week, he posted a 1.96 GSAA in his shutout of the Canucks. By my metric, he did not earn the Ducks any points in this game, but that should not negate the opinion that he had an amazing performance.

4 Stars: Pale Ale (My Favorites: Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Firestone DBA)

The pale ale was the stepping stone for me to get to enjoying IPAs. I very rarely go back to them now, but when I do, oh they are delicious. The hoppiness is definitely dulled in comparison to an IPA, but there are lots of other flavors that pop up in them. For instance, the DBA I listed almost has a caramel taste to it. Oh beer, I miss you so.

I do have to mention that a good Boddington’s Pale Ale is also delicious. It is not completely the same as the other pale ales I listed, but still amazing.

Antoine Vermette - Vermette was elevated to the Getzlaf line this past week and he came through with a solid week. He was below 50% in CF% but was at 55% in xGF% and he produced 2 goals, 1 primary assist, and 1 secondary assist for 4 points. I do not believe that he is the long term solution for that line, but he filled in nicely this past week.

Chris Wagner - Wagner was really solid this week. He did not produce any points, but the Ducks were the better team when he was on the ice. He was at 70% in xGF% and over 50% in CF%.

John Gibson - Gibson had a GSAA of 1.96 on the week, but the majority of that came in the Oilers game. Against the Coyotes and the Flames he was pretty average, and based on my points earned and lost theory, he neither won the Ducks points nor lost them points in these games. In the Oilers game though, he earned the Ducks a point. He was the main reason they were in that game.

3 Stars: Stout (My Favorites: Belching Beaver Peanut Butter Stout, Guinness on tap, Noble Ale Works Naughty Sauce)

Stouts can be great, but it has to be in the right place at the right time. It is not that versatile of a beer, but what it does right, it does right. It is heavy and can have so many different flavor profiles. There are peanut butter stouts, coffee stouts, milk stouts, and probably a bunch more that I have not listed.

Derek Grant & Logan Shaw - These two were fairly average this week. Sure Grant produced a goal, but outside of that neither did anything noteworthy, either good or bad.

Nick Ritchie - Adam Henrique - Kevin Roy - Like Derek Grant and Logan Shaw, it was a pretty forgetful week for these three. They were not bad, but they were not great either. This line was the definition of 3 stars.

2 Stars: Sour Beers (My Favorites: None)

Sour beers are pretty bad, but some people like them for some reason. I guess they have some redeeming qualities by being different. They are not the worst type of beer, but they are pretty close.

Andrew Cogliano - Ryan Kesler - Jakob Silfverberg - These three produced decently this week, with Kesler having a goal, a primary assist, and a secondary assist for 3 points, Silfverberg having 2 goals and 2 primary assists for 4 points, and Cogliano having a secondary assist for 1 point. The biggest issue is the “shutdown” line were three of the worst players on the team shot metrics-wise. Kesler was worst on the team with a 39% CF with a 39% xGF. Silfverberg was a team worst 36% xGF%. On top of that, all three were on the ice for a team worst 3 goals against at 5v5. This was a really bad week for these three and without the point production they easily would have been 1 star.

Cam Fowler - Cam had a goal and secondary assist this week, but other than that it was a rough week for him. He was poor in both the shot attempt and shot quality battle. His point production kept him from a 1 star ranking.

1 Star: Light Beers (My Choice of these awful beers: Coors Light)

Light Beers have one purpose and one purpose only. That is partying. You can have a bunch of them without getting extremely drunk. They are basically flavored water. You might as well have a La Croix over a light beer. You will feel a whole lot better about yourself because of it.

Kevin Bieksa - Kevin Bieksa flew too close to the sun last week and he got burned and fell back to earth. Bieksa was bad this past week.

Brandon Montour - Francois Beauchemin - Alright I am done with this pairing. Can we please unite Montour with Fowler so both can shed the boat anchor bringing them down?

-100 Stars: Miller Lite

Miller Lite is terrible. It is basically water with an added awful taste. If you are going to have a light beer, your choice should never ever be Miller Lite

Randy Carlyle - Now that the team is fully healthy, the team should be thriving. Well they just took 3 points out of a possible 6 on the Western Canadian road trip. For a team that does not have a solidified playoff spot right now, this will not be good enough moving forward. A lot of this has to fall on the coaches head.

Unranked: Pilsner

I recently threw out the opinion that I hate Pilsners on Twitter. The reaction made me reevaluate the Pilsners I have had. I have come to the conclusion that I have not had enough of the good ones, so I am not properly suited to rank them. Place it wherever you see fit.

Corey Perry (1 game played), Ondrej Kase (1 game played), Korbinian Holzer (1 Game Played)

*All stats are from Corsica unless stated otherwise.