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“It’s about understanding how we get to wanting marriage,” Prof. Craig said. “That way we can ensure that our choices and relationships are as individual as we feel them to be.”

Prof. Craig, who “married on purpose” ten years ago, said it was a social observation that sparked her to examine whether marriage has become more a compulsion than a decision.

“It struck me that everybody seems to find the love of their life at the same age, and that didn’t seem very likely,” she said, adding that the marital timeline has been pushed back generation by generation.

Prof. Craig and Ms. Mercer argue that as the economic significance of marriage has declined, and as common-law relationships gained legal recognition in Canada, the symbolic importance of exchanging vows has increased.

“The bottom line is that there is a status associated with being married — and it’s a status shift for the better,” Prof. Craig said.

“When people are ‘just living together,’ then you have people asking, ‘How do you know they really love each other?’ It’s as if common-law relationships are pooh-poohed.”

Prof. Craig points to the dreaded question “When are you going to settle down?” as evidence that marriage is indeed regarded as a worthy ambition.

“It’s as if everything that came before marriage was up in the air, as if the person had no goals,” she said. “In that simple phrase, we are showing the social expectation of marriage.”

In fact, Prof. Craig and Ms. Mercer argue that the expectation to marry is so understood, so entrenched, that a wedding has become a marker for cultural inclusion.

“For example, one of the most successful lesbian and gay moments, was saying ‘We want this too,’” Prof. Craig said. “Even though somebody might not understand how a person could be attracted to someone of the same sex, they can totally understand why that person would want to get married.”

All Prof. Craig hopes is that each couple understands why they themselves want that marriage certificate.

“If we don’t think about it, then you let life happen to you,” she said. “And why let life happen to you when you only get to do it once? Why not live it on purpose?”

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