Matthew Tully

It was quite fitting that the state announced its new tourist slogan the same week that John McEnroe came to town for an old-timers tennis match. Because many of us had a classic Johnny Mac-like reaction to the slogan: “You cannot be serious!”

Honest-to-Goodness Indiana? That’s our new slogan? Yep, that’s the slogan our state’s honchos actually think will convince people to take a Hoosier vacation. I assume it comes with a time machine so the state also can hire Opie Taylor and Gomer Pyle as its spokesmen. As one politico wrote on Twitter: “What? Was ‘Golly gee whiz’ taken?”

The slogan was announced by the Indiana Office of Tourism Development on Wednesday morning. Coincidentally, a few days earlier I’d driven on I-94 in my native Northwest Indiana. That stretch of Hoosier road serves millions of people driving between Illinois and Michigan every year and greets them with an almost endless stream of billboards for strip clubs and casinos.

It made me wonder whether the state will put an “Honest to Goodness” billboard up there among all the billboards for blackjack and boobs.

Honest to Goodness? Really?

A day after the slogan was announced, one of our esteemed state senators, Mike Delph of Carmel, was on Twitter telling one critical voter that, “You need your ass kicked.” Sparring with another, he said, “I assure you my end will be happier than yours.” That’s how we roll here in Honest to Goodness Indiana. Take that, Chris Christie.

As much as I love Indiana, I question whether a state with almost as many casinos as Las Vegas and Atlantic City can effectively sell itself as the Mayberry of the Midwest. And even if it can, why would we want to? Unless our plan is to build a tourist economy around knitting expos and cat shows — nothing against knitters and cat lovers — I’m not sure this motto exactly meshes with the state’s professed interest in being a player in the 21st century global economy.

Just imagine a visitors association boss trying to lure a high-tech convention to Indianapolis. “Forget California, you should come to Indiana. We’re honest-to-goodness! … Hello? Hello?”

I was doing some reporting the other day in the rural Northern Indiana town of DeMotte, a community with a stoplight or two and a nice restaurant called Jim’s Coffee Cafe. The town is charming. It might even be honest-to-goodness. But I’m quite sure it’s not a tourist destination. The reality is that the Indianapolis region is the state’s main tourist draw. And people come here for the restaurants, museums, major-league sports and, perhaps, the strip clubs — not because they’re looking for a hokier version of Cincinnati.

The only rational explanation for the slogan I can think of is that the state wanted to see if it could finally top the 1980s slogan “Wander Indiana” for sheer ridiculousness. If that was the goal, I’ll refer back to Mr. McEnroe and call it game, set and match — you won!

And then there is a part of me that thinks the announcement might actually just be one big prank, a way of giving us all something to laugh, tweet and Facebook about during this dreary, snowy, frigid and endless winter. If that’s the case, you got us. Thanks for the chuckle. Now give us the real slogan.

The headline of a state news release touting the new campaign declared: “Friendly people and authentic experiences, that’s Honest to Goodness Indiana.” Oh, my.

Now, I think Hoosiers are generally friendly. And I guess Indiana is authentic. But what part of the country isn’t authentic? Do you really think people in Chicago and Denver sit around saying, “Hey, Paw Paw, let’s go somewhere authentic this weekend?”

What does that even mean?

And if we’re going to promise friendliness, then we might need to step up our game. That means customer-service training for all of the Downtown panhandlers. And perhaps the governor should start greeting visitors at the airport with a hot cup of tea and, of course, a “howdy, partner.”

Now, I feel for the folks that came up with the slogan. After all, Indiana declined to spend much money on it, and you get what you pay for. I appreciate the effort; their hearts are clearly in the right place. And I’ll be the first to admit that I certainly couldn’t come up with a slogan that most Hoosiers would embrace.

But in the end, my job is to be honest. And the honest-to-goodness truth is that this slogan is bad.

You can reach me at matthew.tully@indystar.com or on Twitter @matthewltully.?