Move over, Martha and Gwyneth: The spat between your wannabe BFF Anthony Bourdain and cartoonish culinary villain Guy Fieri is clearly the epic blood feud of the ages.

Bourdain has pulled no punches when it comes to the Food Network star in the past: Back in 2012 when Fieri opened Guy's American Kitchen & Bar in Times Square, Bourdain proclaimed it a "terror-dome," saying on a radio show, " ... he single handedly turned the neighborhood into the Ed Hardy district which I'm a little pissed off about." Bourdain also made some jabs at Fieri in his recent Close to the Bone speaking tour (though he did also proclaim that he admired "the guy's pluck").

This hasn't gone unnoticed by Fieri, who spoke of his frustrations with Bourdain in a recent GQ profile: "I don’t like him making fun of people, and I don’t like him talking shit. And he’s never talked shit to my face. I know he’s definitely gotta have issues, ’cos the average person doesn’t behave that way. ... It’s just, what are you doing? What is your instigation? You have nothing else to fucking worry about than if I have bleached hair or not? I mean, fuck."

Now Bourdain has responded to Fieri's comments, telling celebrity gossip hounds E! News, "If you can't tell jokes about Guy Fieri, comedy as we know it is dead." It's highly unlikely the two will ever bro down and hop aboard a bus to Flavortown together — but in the meantime, at least the feuding is providing America with some glorious entertainment.

Watch Bourdain's response to Fieri on E! News, below: