Nothing seems to irritate Glenn Beck quite like people who mock or dismiss his self-proclaimed prophetic ability to predict the future. Whenever anyone dares to do so, Beck is quick to respond with a rundown off all of the things he claims to have predicted years before they came to fruition, ranging from 9/11, to the 2008 economic crisis, to the rise of “the Caliphate.”

Just last weekend, Beck fumed on Facebook that if someone was able to predict the stock market as accurately as he has been able to predict the future, that person would he hailed as “an oracle”:

I can tell you what happens in the next five years. But no one has asked me. Wouldn’t someone who nailed the stock market this accurately be called an oracle even if he was wrong on other things? If he predicted the 08 market crash (which by the way I did beginning in 04), wouldn’t someone want to know what he says is coming next?

Beck could tell us “what happens in the next five years,” he says, if we would just be willing to ask.

That is an interesting boast, especially since today marks the second anniversary of a screaming meltdown in which Beck warned that America was “definitely” two years away from a time when he would be forced out of business as the nation descended into a dystopian nightmare.

“I think a year from now, definitely two, most Americans are going to be working part-time,” Beck said on October 15, 2013. “There will be some IMF global tax that will add an extra 10 percent on everything and people like me will be out of business.”

The elite, Beck went on to warn, would have access to things like Google glasses while the rest of society would be reduced to “little worker bees” who, through Common Core, would be trained to serve as nothing more than cogs for the corporations.

“This isn’t science fiction, this is science fact!” Beck screamed. “You pieces of garbage, you people in the press, open your damn eyes!”

Somehow, none of that has happened despite Beck’s prophecy that it was all “definitely” just two years away, which is difficult for us to comprehend, especially since Beck has also assured us that he is always two years ahead of everyone else in knowing what is coming just around the corner.