Agency cites “getting arrested,” “gum disease” and “disobedience” as evidence of the drug’s clear harm

The Drug Enforcement Administration’s position on marijuana has remained relatively unchanged since 2011, when it published the imaginatively-titled The DEA Position on Marijuana.

The DEA provided us this document in response to a request for their policies for enforcing a federal ban in states where marijuana is legal. That question is never answered in the pages of The DEA Position on Marijuana.

Although 63 pages, the document does an admirable job of getting straight to the point.

And there you go.

With the title already taken care of and 62 pages to go, the doc then leisurely turns to task of convince the reader of the evils of the demon weed and rebut the “dangerous notion” that marijuana is a medicine. Why is that notion so dangerous, you might ask? Well, the DEA has a cautionary tale for you …

Do you want teens force-feeding each other marijuana leaves every time they overdose on ecstasy? Didn’t think so.

If that feels like just the slightest bit of a logical leap to you, just hold that thought. We’re getting to the good stuff.

Alright, with that preamble and without further ado, the dangers of Marijuana are:

coughing …

gum disease …

disobedience …

getting arrested …

school shootings …

regular shootings …

confusing correlation with causation …

YouTube famous babies …

reefer madness …

property damage to your beautiful beach house …

fire hazards …

fish murder …

plane crashes …

sexually transmitted diseases …

and of course, getting arrested by the DEA.

The DEA Position on Marijuana ends the only way it could - with a quote from Justin Trudeau’s mom …

which was not only taken completely out of context but is now somewhat ironic considering that she’s been a vocal proponent of her son’s legalization efforts.

Read the full policy embedded below or on the request page.

Image via Reefer Madness