Pyramids of Gizeh, Sunset Afterglow by Thomas Seddon (1854). Dark Ritual by Richard Wright.

Today's post is how to be the kind of player other players want to play with.

Before we launch into yet another discussion on the importance of showering, brushing your teeth and using deodorant, let's define our terms.

I'm concerned with how you interact in an EDH game. What you say and do and whether you understand the nuances of one of the most challenging facets of our game - the social interactions. I don't know you, nor do I probably know the folks you play with, so all I can do is speak from my own experiences. I try to be someone other players enjoy playing with. I don't always succeed, but I'm going to try to do my best to explain my approach to the game that brings us all together and sometimes drives us apart.



There is no one way to play EDH. Your own play-style is going to reflect your personality and may vary from game to game as your mood changes and the opponents you are faced with also change. Rather than try to break down personality types or make gross generalizations and pretend they apply to everyone and every situation, I'm going to make a list of my own personal do's and don'ts when playing EDH.





DON'T expect to win every game



What? This is a competitive format. I'm a spike and proud of it. Why shouldn't I expect to win every game I play?



This may be my filthy casual side showing, but I generally find that if I'm in a mindset where I'm expecting to win, I tend to get way more cranky if things don't go well. I find that if I resign myself to the fact that I'm probably going to lose in a given game, I'm more grateful and pleasantly surprised if things go well.

Expecting to lose doesn't necessarily mean I am going to be glum and disheartened throughout the game, although that can happen from time to time. It means that I try to maintain a level of respect for my opponents, their decks, their ability to run answers and the fact that variance can turn any game around no matter how well or how poorly it is going.



I also try to not focus on winning because I'm not playing "to win", I'm playing to have fun. For me, having fun means being competitive, so it does means winning sometimes, but it also means enjoying the social interactions in the game, and watching an interesting story play out. Hopefully the twists and turns will be epic and occasionally hilarious and we'll all come out of it with the shared memory of a game that was just too much fun to ever forget. Not every game is like that, but if you have it in your mind that you're going to win all the time I think you're likely to have more moments of saltiness than you'd like.



Play to win, but keep your expectations reasonable.

Winning a quarter of your games is probably where your expectations should be, given that EDH games probably average around 4 players. Win more if you can manage it, but don't be a pain in the ass if things don't go your way and you have a run of bad luck, good opponents or both. Having reasonable expectations will absolutely help your mood and result in your being a more enjoyable opponent to play with.

It's bad etiquette to be a pain in the ass when things don't go your way, and they sometimes won't.





DO respect and adapt to your play-group's rules



Every group is going to have its own unique character. Sometimes that means tons of house rules, banned cards, and odd practices. Sometimes that will mean strictly adhering to the rules committee's rulings and playing every game as if you were in a tournament.



Want to make your group's rules change to better reflect the way you think EDH should be played?

Become a core part of your EDH group.

The best way to become part of an existing group is to suck it up and play by their rules. You may hate them, but until you're fairly well entrenched into the group you're going to find it hard to get them to listen to you.



Being respectful means not letting yourself think other people's ideas are "stupid". They aren't stupid - they are just different. Maybe I'd agree with you that some odd house rule isn't something I'd want to play under, but respect is a funny thing. Most people want to be respected. The best way to earn respect is to give it and give it freely.

If you want to ever have any input on how a group of EDH players does things you'd do well to suck it up and play by their rules.

Try not to complain, and try to be articulate if you ever do get a chance to explain why they should change their ways.





DON'T stray too far from your group's power level & style



Can you walk into a new group and play an EDH deck that is so powerful and so effective that you would probably win just about every time you sit down to a game?

I don't know. Maybe you and your decks are that good, but if you have any interest in getting into a new playgroup, you'd be wise to take the temperature of the group first.

Some players love a challenge and are eager to find an opponent so good that it will take their best deck and their best game to even compete. Those folks have my respect, but if you're looking to get into a new EDH playgroup, you should know that the average player isn't like that.



Players generally want a fun, interesting game where they get to play their deck and they get to interact with their opponents on a relatively even playing field with a reasonable chance of eventually getting in a win here and there.

Early on, I'd urge you to avoid playing super hard control, stax, MLD and hate cards that keep folks from actually playing the game. If you have a to tier deck that can regularly win on turn 3-6, make sure you let them know what kind of power you think you're bringing to the game. They might want that kind of challenge or want to see an amazing deck in action, but they might instead want to play their mid-range decks against decks of roughly the same power level.

If you learn that the group is receptive to playing hardball, definitely bring out the big guns, but I wouldn't start that way. Talk to a new playgroup and be honest about where you think your decks fall in terms of their power level and style.





DO tell the truth



I don't just mean that you shouldn't cheat or misrepresent your boardstate. I mean don't break promises, don't try to lawyer your way out of a deal, and don't backstab anyone that doesn't truly deserve to be backstabbed.

Losing a game is temporary.

Losing the trust of people can last a long time.

It's just not worth it to get the reputation of being someone whose word is worth nothing, and it's an easy way to put a target on your back the next time you play with those folks.

I would argue that this applies equally regardless of whether you're playing in casual games, league or tournaments. If you're able to be duplicitous and conniving and lie to folks in one situation and manage to have that not affect how those players view you in other situations, you're way better at Jedi mind tricks than I.





DON'T expect kindness to be returned



If you're ever in the position to kill someone in a game and you don't do it - do not expect them to reciprocate later on. You may have spared them, but when they drop their Craterhoof and prepare to swing for lethal on everyone still playing, don't think for a second that you will be spared. You probably will be trampled to death alongside everyone else.



That doesn't mean you shouldn't do favors or be nice to your opponents occasionally. That's up to you, and I actually think that games are more fun when players aren't just at each others throats from start to finish.

Be nice if you want to be nice.

Just don't expect that your opponent will remember your kindness if they're suddenly in a position to win. They probably won't.





DO let things go... eventually



I would tell you not to let stuff from a previous game affect your decisions in the current game, but I know full well that's not a reasonable suggestion.

You're going to remember that your commander was hit with Nevermore, or your opponent used Boil and you lost 10 islands. You're going to remember the horrible things someone did to you with Mindslaver. It's human nature, and it's OK to let it seep into future games. You might even be a fool to try to ignore the lessons of the past when making decisions in the present.



Here's the thing. Eventually - hopefully only after a game or two - you need to let it go.

It's just a game.

You can adapt your decks to better cope with challenges, and you can adjust your strategy to more quickly respond to certain transgressions that really bug you, but you should try your best to not let the salt from games past get so bad that it consumes you.

Get your revenge as soon as you can and move on.

If you can't manage to get your revenge, just let it go. Life's too short to hold long term grudges over EDH games.





DON'T be too proud to apologize



Most of us, at one point or another, will do or say something that is beneath us. We'll be a bad loser, or maybe even a bad winner. We'll blow up at someone or try to make someone feel bad. We'll be childish and petty. We'll drop an f-bomb or two. We might even scoop. It happens.



When it does, the real test of your character will occur. If you've done something for which you should probably apologize, then apologize. You don't have to make a huge deal about it. Just talk to the person or people you wronged and own up to it. Acknowledge what you did and say you're sorry.



One of the hardest parts of EDH can be the social interactions.

Winning at EDH can mean winning games.

Winning at EDH can also mean becoming the kind of player that everyone wants to have at their table - not because they're an easy kill but because they're a pleasure to play against.

Being that kind of player doesn't mean you never have a bad day, but it does mean you're enough of an adult to own up to your bad days and to try to make amends for them.





DO celebrate your opponents' successes



Anyone can get excited when they do well. Have you ever high-fived or fist-bumped an opponent after they utterly wrecked your boardstate because the play they made was just so well done that they deserved that kind of appreciation?



It may seem strange, but my favorite moments in EDH games are often when some opponent who doesn't normally win very often has a great moment and even if it is at my expense, I congratulate them as enthusiastically as possible.

If anything, I probably go overboard. I will pump a player up and if they win, I'll tell them they're awesome. I want everyone to be awesome and to have a great time, and I think folks like being told they're good or great at something. Not everyone likes it when I'm in a mood where I'm being gregarious and outgoing and if they aren't used to that or don't know me, they might think I'm being facetious. I'm not, but I guess my caveat is that more than anything else, be yourself. If you can find in yourself that part of you that can be happy for other folks' successes - nurture and feed that part of you! It's worth it.

DON'T scoop

Of course, with every rule there are exceptions.

If you need to leave for reasons above and beyond anything in the game, do it in a way that doesn't screw anyone over unless they truly deserve to be screwed over. Even so - you'd do well to resist that temptation and just be decent about it.

If you are having such a bad game that you have no mana, no boardstate, and you're seriously wondering what's wrong with your deck and want to tear it apart and work on it because nothing good is going to come from your opponents letting you hang around out of pity - I think it's OK to tell them that you're going to step out because you're just slowing the game down. Even if your turns are so pathetic that they don't take very long, they should be understanding and let you step out with no hard feelings.

Any well built deck can steal a game if left alone long enough. You should have win-conditions and you should probably hang in there and see if you can luck into any of them. We've all had bad games and there's no shame in not being in the mood to play for an hour with little to no hope and only your opponents' mercy keeping you alive.

So when should you NOT scoop and why did I even put this section in?

Believe it or not, there are players with such bad sportsmanship that they will scoop in response to another player making a good play or declaring an attack so that they basically screw over that player as much as possible. The basic idea is that you're such a child and such a bad sport that you can't just take your lumps like anyone else and you have to pick up all your cards at the most strategically compromising time so as to screw over someone else.

Let's make up an example.

You're playing against three players - Jerky McJerkface, Vinnie Voltron and Bonnie Boardstate. You and Vinnie are playing "voltron" decks, meaning that you and Vinnie only have one big scary creature at a time and it's your commander. Jerky McJerkface is something of a jerk, and he steals your commander so you have nothing left and no real hope unless you topdeck an answer to his mind control aura. He has a wide board - even better than Bonnie Boardstate's meager army, and he swings in on Bonnie with everything, leaving your commander as a more than adequate blocker so Vinnie can't kill him. Vinnie has lethal on anyone he wants if he can get damage through. If you scoop on Vinnie's turn, Jerky McJerkface loses his only blocker - your commander - and will surely die. You might be dying anyways because Vinnie could kill you with ease now that your commander is under Jerkys' control.

Do you scoop?

Do you hang in there and see how things play out?

Any time someone steals someone's voltron commander, you're going to feel like they were a jerk, but your opinion is obviously biased. It was your commander they stole. It's totally a dick move, but it's also a reasonable and strategic decision for a player who might not have any other answer to the threat your voltron commander is posing. They might view it as a choice between being a jerk and dying to commander damage in a few turns.

It will sometimes be tempting to scoop. Don't do it. In the long run, the best revenge isn't going to involve bad sportsmanship and the best way to foster a healthy playgroup is to not let your games devolve into a long series of paybacks and poor decisions.

Take your lumps, work on your decks, and get better.

DO look before you leap

Everyone has moved too quickly and not taken the time to look over a boardstate before declaring attacks that they probably shouldn't have declared. I've swung into a Maze of Ith more than once. It's dumb. It's embarrassing. It's avoidable.

Before you do anything in combat, look over your opponents' boards and ASK QUESTIONS. You can ask if they have anything on the board that would allow them to pump one of their creatures. It's a shortcut to avoid you having to walk around the table and read every single one of their cards to make sure there isn't any sneaky tricks waiting for you if you swing. It's a timesaver and they should answer honestly. They might have a trick up their sleeves but if you ask them a direct question about their board they should answer it honest and accurately.

This also covers weird battlefields. Those guys that put their lands up front are going to confuse you if you're playing quickly, whether they own up to playing mind games or not. A player who quickly glances around to picks an opponent with no blockers might not choose Mr. LandsUpFront. It's an advantage. Take your time. Know what you're attacking into, and ask questions to be sure before you declare your attacks.

DON'T ask for take-backs

Everyone screws up. If you constantly ask for "take-backs" in your games, you are creating an expectation that sloppy play has no consequences and mistakes can always be rolled back. I would suggest that you do yourself a disservice when you get into that kind of habit.

It means you'll take losses and you'll have setbacks but you'll also become a better player because you'll have to. You'll suffer the pain of those bad choices and you'll learn that you have to make better, more careful choices in the future.

Also, some players don't ask for take-backs and it's not fair to them to be constantly expecting the group to let you roll back board-states. You want an even playing field, and if you think you deserve the occasional (or frequent) Ctrl-Z, that means you don't have an even playing field at all. It means you think you're special and shouldn't have to play by the same rules as everyone else.

DO communicate clearly

Just yesterday I was in a game where someone had a Mana Crypt out. On your upkeep, you are supposed to flip a coin and if you lose the flip you take 3 damage. On this player's upkeep he grabbed a die and said something along the lines of "Roll for Mana Crypt - I choose odds" and he rolled.

He never actually said whether odds meant he won or lost the die roll. While the card indicates that losing the flip means you lose 3 life, in practice players usually make a point of saying whether evens or odds means you lose the life. I don't remember what he rolled but he moved on as if he had won it and someone objected because they didn't think it was clear which option meant that he would lose 3 life.

We then had a big argument over whether or not he had to do it again, with a clearer understanding of which choice would do 3 damage to him. In the end, he flipped a coin I had with me that had a "3" marked on one side with a sharpie. I specifically marked the coin and put it in my dice bag for the one Mana Crypt I own. I never wanted any confusion over which outcome would occur and I also wanted the chance to joke with my opponents that they were cheating by not flipping a coin (as clearly required by the card text). Yes, I know die rolls are OK. I like to kid around when I play.

I wasn't really worried about it but the other players were correct - you need to clearly indicate what is happening at all stages of the game, and if you flip a coin or roll a die you should say something like "odds and I lose 3 life" instead of just "I choose odds". You (and I) may think you had been clear enough, but some players will insist upon clarity and are so competitively minded that they will fight you for every single life point, ever creature, every card, and every possible advantage in a game.

You should also try to avoid doing or saying things that aren't clear to your opponents. EDH is a social game and it's frequent that players will be distracted and might not understand the context of what you are doing.

I've gone to draw a card when an opponent said "draw a card" so emphatically that I thought they were talking to the rest of the table.

I've gone to counter a spell when a player was just showing the rest of the table what card they had just tutored for. Instead of revealing it, they slapped it on the table as if they were casting it, and I wound up exposing the fact that I had a counter in my hand because I didn't understand initially that they were just revealing the card they had tutored for.

Fortunately, EDH is a social format but it is also (usually) a casual format.

Accidents are usually forgiven, and mistakes are made and forgotten about fairly easily. Still, you should do your best to clearly communicate what you're doing and what's on your battlefield.

Final Thoughts

This was a difficult article to write in some ways because one person's idea of etiquette has no more authority than another's.

I had to resist the temptation to talk about stuff like not drawing a card to your hand if you're playing miracles. I'm not a tournament player and EDH isn't normally the kind of game where that stuff matters too much.

I also didn't want to focus on negative gamer stereotypes. Once I had a league player scoop because an opponent smelled too bad. That's once in a year and a half of league games. I don't think this is a problem that is really worth devoting a blog post to. Talk to your friends about stuff like that. Be a good friend. Tell them if they have hygiene issues.

What I think are the best ways to play aren't in any way "right" and you may well think some of them are ridiculous. That said, I hope you found something in this week's writing and I hope you are one of the many who do genuinely want to be the kind of player that other players want to play with. That's the difference between a casual, social format and nearly every other format of Magic. It's also why many of us love it so damn much.

I again find myself without a long and interesting series of card images to pretty up my writing, but this week's topic didn't lend itself to card art and I'm already pushing up against my self-imposed deadline of posting this on Sunday morning. I've got a grocery store trip waiting for me and I've got to get on with my day. I do hope this doesn't become too much of a habit, but every now and then we're going to see these text-only articles.

Thanks for reading & see you next week!

Grammar Notes



I hesitated to use "do's and don'ts" but "dos and don'ts" looked wrong, so I looked it up.

It turns out that both are usable but the former is apparently preferred in more casual media like this blog and the latter is more formal and is used in books.