As Gordon Mcintyre of Ballboy once sang…

‘Cause I am an indie pirate and I will skuttle ye.

I fought sharks on the open seas, lost an eye and a leg from the knee

But I am an Indie Pirate and you’re no match for me ‘Cause I am an Indie Pirate and I will sail with ye.

We’ll explore all the seven seas and we’ll make love in harbour and bays

And in our soaked, soaked future I will die with ye

‘Cause I am an Indie Pirate, I belong to the sea, I am an Indie Pirate and you are meant for me

So should we believe in this unholy union of indie musician and pirate? I am sad to report that more often than not, you shouldn’t trust the peg-legged man with the skinny jeans and floppy fringe. He can carry a gladiola in his teeth and quote The Smiths, but alas, that patch does not look good on him and his Parrot is looking worse for wear.

Why the cynicism you ask? Well, let’s look at the evidence. Peggy Sue & The Pirates became just plain Peggy Sue, even though there’s not a Peggy or a Sue, it was still the Pirates part they objected too. Pete & The Pirates lived through Pete not being the lead singer, but ultimately their ship was sunk and The Pirates went their separate ways.

On top of that unless you are still stuck in the 80’s you will be aware piracy has long since conquered home taping as the music industries public enemy number 1. Pirate’s just aren’t cool these days everyone…

Or are they…counter argument fans pay attention now!

Point the first! The best album of Alela Diane’s career is surely The Pirates Gospel, a series of cracking, yo-hoing, timber shivering, main sail hoistingly brilliant songs.

Point the second! It’s been covered by every man and his dog but the brilliant Shakin’ All Over was originally recorded by Johnny Kid & The Pirates, and it’s brilliant.

Point the third! Burial wrote song a about Pirates, Burial’s dub-step, dub-step is cool isn’t it? The kids still love dub-step right? ERGO PIRATES ARE COOL! YAY PIRATES!

TELEMAN

Who?

Teleman consist of Thomas Sanders on the vocal and guitar duties, his brother Jonnny Sanders on synthesisers, Pete Cattermoul on the bass and newest member, Hiro Amamiya on the drums.

What?

Why was I banging on about pirates you say? Well Teleman consist of three fifths of the now defunct Pete & The Pirates. They make a unique brand of articulate and clever pop music that’s very British and not at all ashamed of that.

Where?

Maybe it’s because they are Londoner’s that they love London town; in reality they might just have moved here like most people trying to make a career in music, but they are always listed as a London band so who am I, or you for that matter, to say otherwise?

When?

Their debut single, Christina, appeared on Moshi Moshi in January last year. In July, a second single Steam Train Girl followed. A debut album Breakfast is coming out June 2nd also on Moshi Moshi. The album was produced by Suede guitarist turned Duffy producer Bernard Butler. Which explains why they toured with Suede last year, they have also lately toured with the likes of Metronomy, Franz Ferdinand and Maximo Park, so must have a very good booking agent!

Why?

Their material to date sounds very varied, but all pinned together by Thomas’ unique voice. His vocal is wonderfully British, recalling Young Knives, or perhaps Duels. Musically there are plenty of curve balls. Lady Low sounds like The Kinks reinvented as new romantics, latest single 23 Floors Up is tinged with post-Brit Pop melancholia, but best of all is Christina, with buzzing synths and a superb 60s-pop bass line, it is wonderfully different sounding to anything else, and brilliant too.

Why not?

They follow the Alt-J (oh look i’m writing this on a mac so let’s call them ∆) and Django Django path of articulate and very uncool pop music that’s oddly cool right now. So let’s hope they stick more to the Django Django road and produce an actually really good album rather than the ∆ route of producing an album so knowingly clever it actually ended up being known as bloody dull. From what I’ve heard of Teleman so far though, they are set to out do either of the aforementioned bands and produce a proper indie-pop record; they might even end up as good as Young Knives!

Teleman release their debut album Breakfast on Moshi Moshi on June 2nd. They’re playing all over the place for the foreseeable future so keep your eyes pealed!