Michael A. Smyer

Opinion contributor

My first-year Bucknell University students were nervous about their assignment: Interview someone in your family about climate change. Only one rule: It had to be someone 50 or older. It had to be intergenerational. If I could, I’d give everyone the same homework assignment this holiday season.

Yes, we need national and international action to solve the climate dilemmas we face. That’s what the 24th Conference of the Parties to the United Nations Framework Convention on Climate Change (COP24), which wrapped up Sunday, has been all about. But each of us also needs to talk about the issues with our family and friends, because those conversations are what will lead to concrete changes in our daily lives, specific next steps for making our lives more sustainable and eventually political action to ensure a more sustainable country.

The day after Thanksgiving, when the Trump administration released the Fourth National Climate Assessment, many of my students were talking to their parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, friends or neighbors.

The class was ready for the conversation. They had reviewed the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change report, released in October, highlighting the need for “rapid, far-reaching and unprecedented changes in all aspects of society.” They knew the near universal consensus among climate scientists that climate change is extremely likely to be human-caused. They had reviewed public opinion data from the Yale Program on Climate Change Communication for their own state, county, and congressional district, so they knew what their neighbors thought about climate change and the policies they endorsed in response.

The conversation Americans aren't having

But they also knew that most of us avoid talking about climate change: Less than a third of Americans (31 percent) talk about global warming at least occasionally with family members or friends, according to a Yale Program on Climate Change Communication survey. That’s why I wanted them to have “the conversation.” Because talking with others is the first step from anxiety to action. It lets others know how concerned we are, lets us hear their concerns and what they support, and starts us planning our next steps toward sustainability.

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Maybe parents and grandparents aren’t talking to young adults because they’re worried about adding anxiety. The irony is that silence only makes it worse — the generations don’t realize that they share a deep concern, that they are actually doing something about it, and that together they can do more and demand more from our leaders.

So how did it go? Really well! Not one student got turned down. Lesson No. 1: If you ask a family member or friend to spend a few minutes talking with you, chances are they will say yes, especially if it’s an invitation across generations.

The students' biggest take-away, however, was surprise: Their interviewees were already taking actions like planting trees, changing their air filters, eating less meat, reducing their driving or changing to solar power. They were surprised because, as the students put it, their families never spoke about it. And that’s the point. Many of us are absorbing the enormity of climate change in isolation, not realizing that others are also concerned and taking action.

Everyday actions add up

Here are three steps to starting your own climate conversation this holiday season:

First, keep it social. Focus on people and places that you and your family care about. With my students, I began by asking them to imagine a place that has special meaning for them and to envision the impact of extreme weather or climate change on that place.

Second, keep it short in terms of time frame, three or four generations at the most. Our class interview assignment focused on the next 40-50 years at the places they cared about. One student told me that this short-term view had a strong impact on her grandfather. He considered life for his child and grandchildren in the next 50 years and was upset about what it may look like.

Third, keep it positive. Leaving parents and grandparents upset is not your goal. Instead, help them see that they don’t need to solve climate change in one day or one step. They just need to take a next step. The Alliance for Climate Education, for example, urges students and teachers to do one thing. As they put it: “Everyday actions add up.”

My students used climate action cards and asked their friends and relatives to identify one next step, to move one card from “could do” to “will do”. Some chose political action (like joining a climate organization or joining a climate demonstration). Others chose simple acts such as washing clothes in cold water and using public transportation. One of my students put it well: It’s not important what you’re doing now, but what you do to move ahead.

Not sure what your next step should be or what to recommend? Environmental groups have lists of things you can do online and in your everyday life.

Are you a parent or grandparent who wants to start a conversation with kids, but not sure where to start? You’re in luck! The Climate Reality Project has developed "Beginning the Climate Conversation," a family guide with advice and activities for meeting kids where they are.

The holidays are a perfect time to have a sit down. Just ask your relatives and friends to think and talk about a place they care about. And ask them what’s next. You may be surprised by what happens.

Michael A. Smyer, Ph.D., is a professor of psychology at Bucknell University, the founder of Graying Green: Climate Action for an Aging World and an Encore public voices fellow with The OpEd Project. Follow him on Twitter @MickSmyer.