Naturally, I don't have an inclination to books that deal with highly sensitive material, especially in the Y/A genre. Not that these authors can't do good work, but as with a lot of Y/A, there's a specific focus on romance.

So, admittedly, when I scroll through my GoodReads wishlist on the weeks before Christmas, looking for books to ask for, I was a little surprised I wanted to bookmark this as to-read. Not usually my tastes, as I've said.

But I did get it included in my Christmas gifts, and I did end up reading it. (Otherwise, I wouldn't be writing a review if I hadn't!)

And, well, honestly, I was pleasantly surprised.

I read this book in an afternoon, surrounded by two cats and a sunny bedroom. I cried a little at the end. And on the Instagram, I thought about posing with this book (but it's too early for a face reveal, and I was sleep-deprived as hell). Literally, I hit my head on my desk during one of my classes out of boredom and tiredness.

Our main character, Luke, has just lost his wife, Natalie to cancer. Now it's his time to pick up the pieces and try to get on with life, including, raising his three children. That is until he gets a blue envelope delivered to him from Natalie, promising that more letters are on the way. These letters soon become a way of coping and getting on with life for Luke but also force him to confront a few more things along the way.





I'm hesitant to say any more for fear of spoilers, but this is the gist of the story.





Sounds like your typical lifetime loss-drama-romance book right?









Wrong sir!













MY THOUGHTS

This book, as far as research goes, came out in 2016, so it's fairly recent. I was pleasantly surprised at that. Normally, I'm late when it comes to books, but for the most part, GoodReads said this book is 4/5, and that's a good thing because I don't tend to see many of those.





I was skeptical at first. So this was definitely a good sign

What I really, really, and I mean really appreciate about this novel was that, a) the author actually has a good understanding of what happens during the diagnosis/treatment of cancer, and b) the life events that happen all seem fairly realistic. They could happen, and likely, have, to some people.





And it's not so much on Luke, as you'll see. Natalie, although passed on, makes so many comebacks in the story. She is the driving, undead character in the novel, which forces her family to come to loose ends and form new relationships.





It's about grief, but it's also about hope and family. In fact, while there is a "kinda" love interest between Luke and another character, it is promptly abandoned, and in its place, another plot-point emerges. For those who may have read this, the scene I refer to here is of Luke's son, Matt's school counselor, and his long-time family friend Annie, who also was very close with Natalie.





This is what I mean by realistic and relevant. Everything, down to even the slightest detail, has a point to the overall unity of the story. Annie's involvement in the story, especially, does force Luke to re-evaluate his other relationships, and even, take a stand.





I especially commend this novel for dealing with hard issues in a mature, adult way. None of the issues talked about in the novel are easy, by any means. But the reader will find that it's not so much siding on one side or the other. It's a matter of messy compromise and harsh brooding.





And let's be honest, that's the reality of life. Nothing is sorted into neat little boxes (or rarely is if at all), and most of the time it's a matter of hard thinking and meeting ends halfway.





Many of the characters, we also see, have a misunderstanding about one another, and are forced to reconcile this. One quote that really sticks out is this:

“You can’t assume everything’s okay inside the house just because the paint isn’t peeling and the yard is neatly mowed.”





I think this is perfect to describe the book in general because THIS is what the story is about, and what it tries to get across.





Things appear alright on the outside, but really, they're falling apart. We see this in Luke's perspective, but also in his son, Matthew. We see it in Annie and her own life, and most importantly, we see it even in Natalie, from the brief, but very important inside look we get at her. We don't need to see inside her head though, Bleeker makes it so that you can still feel it, secondhand through the characters.





I have a deep appreciation for this. Bleeker's, perhaps, biggest strength is that she makes you feel, because she makes her content so real.





“Grief seemed to chase away the comfort of sleep, and he longed for a night where he could drift off into a blissfully unaware dreamworld, where life was potentially weird but definitely less paralyzing.”





And here again:





“How could everyone else find it so simple to slip back into life, the world revolving, businesses opening and closing, buying and selling, when the pillow on the right side of his bed was empty every night?”





And to me, the most powerful (mainly because it hits me somewhere on a personal level)





“Unfortunately, cancer isn’t scared off by love.”





I think this particularly deals with hard-hitting truths, as I've probably listed and repeated myself like a broken record. But Luke having to deal with this death is one thing--he also has to help his younger children understand this. Especially his three-year-old, Clayton.





This I felt was a delicate situation too, it's hard to explain death to little kids. Bleeker introduces another character, by request of Natalie, Jessie. She is integral to the story, as she has some inside knowledge of grief, trouble, and trying to put lives back together. Yet, this isn't done in a way that feels unreal, or too hoaxy for it to even be fake. No, it feels real, and it feels genuine.





My only real criticism of this novel is that perhaps it dealt with too many different things at once. There is a lot, which tends to overwhelm or doesn't dwell on some things as much as I thought it should. Some of Luke's language sounds a bit "hip" and "young", maybe to try to relate to a younger demographic.





But really, for the most part, it's not too noticeable.





And, not to spoil anything concrete, but the ending of the story is perfect, and once again, an example of reality. It has a happy-ish ending, one that ends on a nice note, but keeps things real. You'll see why if you read it.





So...









MY RATING





If it wasn't clear already, I thought this was a damn good piece of literature, especially for the Y/A genre. It deserves the 4/5 on GoodReads, and so, my rating is a definite YAY!





It's not the easiest piece to read (by easy, meaning happy-go-lucky), but it is something worth reading that deals with often difficult issues in a good way, while still maintaining hope for the future.





CHECK IT OUT!









~Meghan



















