Strictly is on its way back! Don't miss our regular newsletter round-up with the latest show news Subscribe Thank you for subscribing We have more newsletters Show me See our privacy notice Invalid Email

SATURDAY night, BBC1... and Doctor Who storms back with the first of a two-part ­adventure called The Impossible Astronaut. As in impossible to understand.

Strictly sci-fi nerds only as our 960-year-old hero died and then didn’t die and then landed the Tardis in the Oval Office while President Tricky Dicky Nixon looked on in bemused amazement.If there was a cogent plot it was brilliantly disguised.

Anyway, a picnic in the desert, babies in space suits, an alleged tale of ­intrigue ­involving the 1969 Moon landing... and smartly-dressed monsters ­wearing ties.

“Have we done Jim the fish?” enquired River Song – the ­mysterious Time Lady played by Alex ­Kingston. Gee, River... I dunno. What the hell are you flowing on about?

A twitchy whirl of studied eccentricity, Matt Smith remains a derivative Doctor who brings nothing new to the party.

And this ball of all-round confusion was no way to start a series. But I’m guessing the second instalment will end with the sonic screwdriver guy saving the world with seconds to spare. Again.