NEW YORK—Claiming that the 46-year-old journalist is “clearly unhinged,” the National Football League has sought a restraining order against ESPN reporter Adam Schefter, sources confirmed Tuesday. “This weirdo is always showing up unannounced and following people around, and the harassment is really getting out of hand,” said NFL commissioner Roger Goodell, adding that the proposed legal injunction would prevent Schefter from coming within 100 yards of any team. “He’s totally obsessed—constantly calling, writing these creepy online posts, and asking inappropriate questions about private information. The guy is a total wack-job, and there’s no telling what he could do if this keeps up. Frankly, we fear for our safety and the safety of the entire NFL family.” At press time, authorities had reportedly just arrested Schefter on charges of stalking new 49ers backup quarterback Seneca Wallace after a team practice in Santa Clara, CA.

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