this part’s a bit longer, but bear with me. we’re getting to the good stuff here.enjoy!

—





“Questioning? Well, boys, you are in luck. As a salon keeper, I hear and see all kinds of things, and I remember all of it,” D proudly proclaimed. His voice had a hint of a Kalosian accent.

“Well, then,” AJ began. “We’ve been informed that you’ve had a session with a certain Red earlier today, possibly yesterday.”

“Mr. Akai, you mean,” D said, rolling his eyes. “Yes, he did indeed show up here this morning, along with his brother, at about eight o’clock. I had just opened up the salon. Originally, I turned the two away, as neither of them were elegant enough to deserve the honor of being a customer of mine. However, after some money talk, and some… words I would rather not have had uttered in a refined place such as this, I obliged.”

“Can you tell us the gist of those ‘words’? We don’t want to miss anything important,” AJ requested.

“Well, those words were used to paint some very colorful scenarios of what would have happened to me, had I chosen not to accept their request.”

“Yep, that’s Red for ya…” AJ muttered, then resumed the questioning. “Then what happened?”

“Trying to make the best of the situation, I chose to take it as a challenge,” D continued. “A test of the great designer-slash-hairdresser-slash-stylist D’s abilities. ‘That boy sure could use a lot of work’, I thought… Well, not that his brother was much better.”

D cleared his throat gracefully, which AJ didn’t think was even possible.

“Anyway, he had requested me to make him ‘look good’ - as plebeians like him usually call it - so I did my best. First, I had him take a quick vitalizing session with Xernie, since he was looking so pale and tired-“

“Pardon me, sir, but we’re not here to hear about the entire process,” Brian interrupted. “We just want to know if they said anything.”

D humphed.

“Very well. But, unfortunately, they didn’t talk very much. They never told me what the older Akai wanted to ‘look good’ for, but from their brief conversations, seemed like it was a ‘who’.”

“Could you elaborate?” AJ asked.

“He said something along the lines of ‘I have trouble controlling myself around him’ and ‘everytime I approach him, my pulse goes wild’. Hm. Seems like he was really smitten with someone, don’t you think?”

“We’ll be the ones drawing the conclusions here, D,“ AJ grunted. “You just focus on giving the information accurately, alright?”

“Fine. But I’m afraid I don’t have much more information to give. After I had done my work on the boy, the two paid me and left. Not before returning the shoes I gave them, however. It made me quite furious to see such great coordination go to waste, especially with my chic footwear being replaced by those appalling, worn sneakers, but the boy was very adamant about not wearing heels, and I was not willing to hear his ghastly threats again.”

“Really? That’s it?” AJ groaned, disappointed.

“Yes. Now, are you going to buy anything, or did you come here just to waste my time?”

“The latter. Come on, AJ, let’s go,” Brian sighed.

They exited the salon, moved to a less crowded street and stopped there.

AJ yawned. “Well, what now? D didn’t know anything.”

“He did know something,” Brian remarked.

“No, he didn’t. He didn’t say anything Burrito hasn’t already implied. He probably misheard him,” AJ muttered.

“But AJ… what if he actually is ‘smitten with you’, though?” Brian cautiously asked.

“He isn’t, and that’s final.”

“I’m just thinking… he already was pretty crazy. Maybe he finally snapped completely, and this is the result.”

“Brian, no. He’s playing mind games. You’re falling for it.”

“Maybe you’re giving this guy a bit too much credit. Hasn’t been pretty straightforward with his attempts on your life in the past? You know, all ‘stabby stabby, I’ll kill you’ -like?”

“Look, it doesn’t even matter. We just need to find someone else to question.”

Brian looked at the ground, contemplatively.

“What about Paul?” he abruptly suggested.

“Who’s Paul?” AJ asked.

“Red’s friend.”

“Red has friends?” AJ exclaimed.

“Yeah,” Brian said. “He’s from that Rijon place, but he’s currently working part-time in Kanto. Him and Red hang out sometimes.”

“How do you even know these things?”

“Internet. You hear about all kinds of stuff on there.”

“Well… okay, then. How can we reach this Paul?”

Brian gestured towards the phone in the AJ’s pocket. “I know just the way,” he said, smiling.





Burrito ambled into the hall, where Gator and Katie were watching the three tired-looking mon outside through the window. He cleared his throat, causing them to turn to him.

“What is it, Burrito?” Katie asked.

“Our master AJ has left us with a very important task,” Burrito announced. “While he and Brian are out hunting for information, it is our job to watch this poor mess of a man. And, preferably, also screw with him a little.”

“AJ left? He can’t just leave like th-“ Gator grumbled, but Burrito’s frantic paw flailing made him quieten.

“He’s not supposed to find out,” Burrito hissed. “So hush up!”

“Are you talking about me over there?” sounded a question from the other side of the door.

“Oh, we’re just wondering if you’ve done this before,” Burrito rushed, trying to save the situation.

“Where is AJ?” Red demanded.

“He’s in the living room, reading a book,” Burrito answered. “But never mind him, sweetie. I asked you a question,” he calmly continued.

A deep sigh could be heard.

“Oh, don’t tell me… Is AJ your first?” Burrito squeed.

“Don’t be an idiot,” Red snapped. “…I’ve done this before.”

“Really? When?”

“None of your business. But… with four people, in total.”

“Is that so?”

“Yes. Two of them at the same time, even.”

“O-oh? How?”

“I’ve got two hands, don’t I.”

“Oh, you dog… I had no idea,” Burrito giggled to himself. “What genders?” he asked.

“I… don’t see how that matters,” Red muttered, “but all men. I haven’t had much need for women so far.”

“So, who were they?”

“That’s confidential,” Red growled. “Not that you’d know them, anyway.”

“Well… how did it end up with them?”

“The three others satisfied my needs sufficiently well. As for the fourth one…”

Red let out a brief chuckle.

“He found out what happens when someone betrays me.”

“Al…right,” Burrito squeaked. “That’s a bit… creepy.”

“What a coincidence… That’s exactly what he said before I… well, use your imagination.”

“I am and I’m not liking it,” Burrito whispered to himself in anguish.

Gator humphed and rolled his eyes. “So, Red,” he crassly began, “how long do you plan on sitting there again?”

“As long as I have to.”

“So even overnight?”

“If I have to.”

“Where are you going to sleep?”

“I’ll figure it out.”

“What are you going to eat?”

“I’ll figure it out.”

“How are you going to-”

“I’ll figure it out!”

Gator couldn’t come up with anything else to ask, so he merely walked off, disinterested.

“Red, um…” Katie began.

“What?” Red shouted.

“You do know that AJ is… taken-”

“By surprise. Yes. Why wouldn’t he be.”

“That’s not what I meant. I was trying to say-”

“That he hates me? That he detests me? I already know that, woman, no need to rub it in.”

“That he’s with Joey!” Katie exclaimed. “Geez, you are dense.”

A moment of silence followed.

“He’s in bed with that kid?” Red asked.

“W-well, I wouldn’t go that far-” Katie stuttered, blushing, but was interrupted.

“And here I thought AJ wouldn’t be… doing that.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, it’s just that… isn’t he basically opposed to such… rituals…”

“What the hell kind of sex is this guy having?” Burrito hissed under his breath, disturbed.

“What… kind of… rituals…” Katie hesitantly enquired, not sure whether or not she actually wanted to know the answer.

“You know what?” Red suddenly snapped. “None of this concerns any of you. I shouldn’t be answering your moronic questions.”

“Well, we don’t need your moronic answers, either,” said Gator, whom the others had not noticed arriving.

“Good,” Red spat.

“Good,” Gator rasped back.

Burrito sighed. “I wonder how AJ and Brian are doing…” he quietly pondered.





Paul knocked on the door. “Pizza’s here!” he announced with cheer. Soon, the door was unlocked and opened by a pidgeot. “Come in,” the bird spoke, with a distanced voice.

“Well, uh, I’d rather just leave the pizza and go, I kinda have other deliveries to make-”

“My wing is broken,” the pidgeot blankly said. “I can’t carry it to the table.”

“…But you just flew to open the door,” Paul skeptically remarked.

The bird kept staring at Paul, not even blinking.

“I broke it just now,” he specified. “Ow. It hurts.”

“Okay, you know what, I’m just gonna leave this on the floor and-” Paul began, crouching to put the pizza box down, but was interrupted by the bird’s shout.

“AJ, get him!”

From behind the bushes, a teenage boy emerged, running and tackling the confused deliveryman forwards onto the hall floor. “Close the door!” the boy shouted, and the bird swiftly flew to slam the door shut.

“What’s going on? Who are you guys?” Paul exclaimed in shock.

“It’s okay, dude, just calm down-” AJ tried, but Paul was stronger. He pushed the boy off himself and turned to the reach the door, but was blocked by the pidgeot wildly swinging its talons in the air.

“Don’t- don’t leave, okay?” the bird panted. “We just need to ask you a few questions, that’s all- AJ, don’t!”

The boy came from behind, seizing the man’s arms and pulling himself back, causing them both to fall backwards on the floor.

“Jump on him, Brian!” the boy shouted.

The bird looked hesitant, but flew onto Paul’s chest, pressing the man down.

“What do you want?” Paul cried out in terror.

“It’s nothing bad, we-we just wanna talk, okay?” the bird stuttered, flailing his wings, gesturing the man to calm down.

“J-just talk?” Paul repeated.

“Yeah, just talk, just… please calm down, okay.”

The pidgeot flew off from Paul’s chest, allowing the man to catch his breath. He soon sat up, in turn allowing the boy to breathe again.

“You didn’t tell me he was an adult,” the boy wheezed.

“So, uh… who are you guys, then?” Paul asked, standing up.

“I’m Brian,” the bird said, “and the guy dying on the floor right now is AJ, my trainer.”

“AJ? That AJ?” Paul cautiously asked.

“The godslayer one, yeah,” the boy revealed, standing up as well.

“‘Godslayer’… alright,” Paul mumbled to himself.

“In any case,” AJ said, “we want to ask you some questions.”

“Well, go ahead then. But try to make it quick, I have other deliveries as well.”

“Sure. So, when was the last time you saw Red?” AJ asked.

“Last week,” Paul answered. “We had some pizza and talked helixism. Usual stuff.”

“Okay, then- wait.”

AJ turned to Brian. “He’s a helixian?” he whispered.

“Yeah. What of it?”

“Are you sure we can trust what he says?”

“AJ, don’t be narrow minded. Paul’s not like Red. He’s cool, trust me.”

AJ grumbled something unintelligible, then turned back to Paul.

“So,” he resumed, “did Red tell you about anything going on in his life, or…”

“Sure, we always catch up. But this time it got kinda deep.”

“What do you mean ‘deep’?”

“Like, emotions and stuff.”

“Can you tell us more about these ‘emotions’ of his?”

“Well, we were talking all normal at first, but then out of the blue, he got kinda… shy.”

“Go on.”

“He asked me something like, ‘Paul, have you ever been in love’?”

AJ’s heart skipped a beat. “Oh yeah?”

“I told him about some crushes and a girlfriend I had had. It didn’t seem to ease his mind much, though.”

“…Uh-huh.”

“Then he asked me, ‘How do you tell someone you love them? Someone you’ve known for a long time, but one who probably doesn’t feel the same way about you, or, might not understand if you try to tell them just… like that?’.”

“W-what did you tell him?” AJ stuttered.

“I told him that I didn’t really know, but that he should probably try to tell them soon, so that he’d know if he’s ever gonna have a chance with them or not.”

“And… and then what happened?”

“He thanked me, though it didn’t sound like he really meant it. Then he said he should probably leave, and got on his way home. I guess he’s really head over heels someone, huh.”

“You don’t know that…” AJ muttered under his breath.

“What?”

“Nothing. Thank you, Paul, that would be all.”

“Oh, great. I am running a bit late already.”

He leapt over the pizza box and opened the door, but then stopped. He turned back around with a questioning look.

“…What?” AJ asked.

“…You gonna pay me for that pizza, or what?”

AJ took out his wallet and handed Paul some bills. He looked content and walked out the doorway. AJ walked to inspect the pizza box.

“Aw, man, it’s all crushed,” he groaned. “I guess someone must have fallen on it during all that commotion.”

“Lemme see,” Brian said, and hopped closer. He opened the lid and peeked inside.

“Oh, it’s not so bad. Can’t be dirty, either, since the box didn’t open.”

“You can have it if you want to,” AJ sighed. “I’m not putting that in my mouth.”

“You humans and your germaphobia…” Brian muttered, shaking his head, and then began ripping away pieces from a smushed pizza slice.





“Ugh, it’s so hot,” the nidoking groaned.

“Then take off your jacket,” the zapdos muttered, irritated.

“What? No! I can’t take off my jacket, it’s part of my style!”

“Then stop complaining!” the zapdos shouted, his plumage sparking with anger.

“Oh, what, you wanna fight?” the nidoking grunted back, swinging his tail threateningly.

“Fonz! Angel! Stop that,” ordered Red from the doorstep.

“But he-” both the mon shouted, only to be interrupted by the third.

“Ugh, quiet down over there,” the pidgeot whined. “I’m trying to vlog here-”

“Shut the hell up!” snapped both Fonz and Angel.

“Well, geez,” the pidgeot began, clearly offended. “If you’re gonna be like that, I’ll just leave. I got places to be anyway.” He turned back to his phone. “Don’t mind them, guys, they’re just salty because our trainer there” - he pointed the phone in Red’s direction - “thought it was a bright idea to drag us along to his little rendezvous with that douchebag AJ!”

“Abba! Behave!” Red barked.

“No! Screw you, Red! I’ll help a brother in need out and all, but asking me to stand here, in direct sunlight, without any food, for hours, is just a bit too much to ask of someone as important as me! I’m leaving!”

“Abba! Get back here!” Red shouted, but it was too late. The pidgeot had already taken off.

Red buried his face in his hands, letting out a long, distressed sigh. The two remaining mon humphed, and moved further apart from each other.

“What a drama queen,” muttered Gator, who had been watching the events unfold from the window.

“They do seem pretty exhausted…” Katie said.

“If you’re thinking of letting them in, forget it. AJ gave us clear instructions,” replied Gator.

“I know, I’m just… I kind of feel sorry for those two. They’d probably rather be anywhere else right now.”

Burrito yawned, got up and stretched his paws. “Did I miss anything?”

“Not much else than Abba calling it quits,” Katie explained.

“Aw, man, I missed that?” Burrito sighed, jumping on Gator’s shoulder and peeking out the window. “I was waiting to see who’d give up first.”

“Well, the next one certainly won’t be Red,” Gator remarked. “He’s been sitting there for hours now. Without complaining, too.”

Katie peered through the peephole and looked at Red. He had taken off his jacket and covered his head with it, most likely to prevent sunstroke.

“Just what is it with that guy,” Katie muttered. “Any sane person would have given up by now.”

“You’re answering your own question,” sighed Gator, turning to face the living room, causing Burrito to panic from the sudden motion and dig his claws deep into the crocodilian’s hide. Gator didn’t seem to notice.

“What’s taking them so long?” Gator groaned impatiently.

“What’s taking whom so long?” Red shouted.

“Oh, uhh-” Gator tried.

“You bastards. AJ’s not even there, is he?” Red interrupted.

Suddenly, loud thumping and scratching sounded from upstairs.

“Well, looks like he is now,” Katie remarked.

“Are you okay up there?” Gator shouted, startling Burrito.

“Yeah…” a quiet whimper answered.

“Burrito, go get them,” Gator ordered.

Burrito jumped down and dashed up the stairs. After a while, he reappeared at the top, along with AJ and Brian, both of whom looked a bit beat-up. Slowly, the trio made their way down the steps. Katie and Gator moved closer.

“Are you both alright?” Katie asked. “That didn’t sound like a very successful landing.”

“We’re fine,” AJ hissed. “It’s just that this genius here thought he could dive straight in from the open window.”

“Hey, I did it, didn’t I?” Brian squawked.

“Just what were you guys even doing while you were away?” Gator demanded. “You were gone for over twice as long as we expected.”

“We questioned both D and Red’s friend Paul, but neither of them told us anything useful.”

“So… now what will you do?” asked Katie.

“Well, there’s only one more person I can turn to now,” AJ said, pulling out his phone. “She’s not going to like me for this, but I have no other option left.”

AJ walked over to the living room and began a call. After a while, someone picked up.

“Hello,” sounded a woman’s disinterested voice from the other end. AJ put the call on speaker. The others gathered around.

“Hi, Alice, it’s AJ, and-”

“Didn’t I tell you not to call me anymore?”

“Yeah, but-”

“I’m sick of hearing about your petty feud with Red. I have way more important things to worry about. Like, right now, I’m trying to figure out how Evan operates. This could literally be something the fate of our worlds depends on. And I mean literally ‘literally’, not Unovan teen girl ‘literally’. Goodbye, AJ. Don’t call me again. This time I mean it-”

“It’s not about me fighting Red!”

“Oh… it isn’t?”

“It isn’t. Honest.”

“Well, okay then. What is it?”

“…You see, Red-”

The other side hung up.

AJ sighed, lowering the phone. “Well, I’m out of ideas. Looks like we won’t accomplish anything by asking others anymore.”

“Couldn’t we go to Abe? Encourage him to talk a little more?” Gator suggested, cracking his knuckles.

“No… There’s no way Red would keep his house easily accessible. Who knows what we might run into over there,” AJ said, falling onto the couch behind him. “Besides… even the thought of seeing that… abomination again makes my blood simultaneously run cold and boil.”

“Alright, is anyone even there anymore?” sounded a shout from the door.

“I see Red’s still here,” AJ mumbled. “Any ideas about getting rid of him?”

“Two of his mon are still here,” Gator informed, “but both of ‘em look pretty tired. I think we could take them on.”

“Now hold on, everyone,” Burrito intervened, raising his front paws in the air. Everyone turned to him, all ears. “Don’t you think it’s time we let the boy in?” the espeon continued.

“What?” AJ exclaimed. “That’s insane-”

“Hear me out, hear me out,” Burrito interrupted. “You want to know what he’s here for, right?”

“True, but-”

“And asking others wasn’t the solution, right?”

“Yes, but-”

“And he won’t tell you if you don’t let him in, right?”

“Stop interrupting me-”

“And you hate his guts, right?”

“Burrito, seriously-”

“I know he’s proven himself to be a dangerous individual time and time again, but this time he’s clearly acting different. It seems like he’s actually attracted to you now.”

“Stop-”

“All I’m saying is - don’t you want to mess with him a little?”

“Burri-”

AJ stopped. “Or, actually…” he stroked his chin. “You are right about that.”

“I know, right?” Burrito grinned. “Finally, you listen to me.”

“So what you’re suggesting is… playing along?”

“Exactly! Play with his emotions. Break his heart.”

“Wow, Burrito, that’s… pretty evil,” AJ remarked. “I like that.”

Gator raised his hand. AJ and Burrito turned to look at him, slightly confused.

“Am I the only one who thinks this is an awful idea?” he boomed. “Red has brought us nothing but harm since that day on Mt. Silver, and he’s clearly an unstable person. What if he catches on and goes berserk? And Burrito, you heard what he said about his ‘previous companions’, too, didn’t you?”

“Oh, so he’s a complete psycho, like that’s any kind of news,” Burrito mocked. “Don’t worry, Gator, we’ll be watching him closely the whole time. Even he expects that.”

“Yeah, Gator, don’t worry about it. I won’t let my guard down for a second,” AJ promised.

Gator exhaled deeply, rolled his eyes and stamped out of the room.

“Well then,” Burrito began, “would you do me the honor?” He gestured towards the door.

“With pleasure,” AJ replied, with a villainous tone.

He got up, walked over to the door and knocked on it.

“Who is it this time?” Red snapped. “I swear, if it’s that raunchy little rag of an espeon again-”

“It’s me, Red,” AJ answered, faking a flirtatious tone.

“…Well, it’s about time,” Red muttered. “I’ve been here for hours, waiting for you.”

“Hours? Oh, you flatter me… You know, Red, at first I wasn’t so sure about you, but now that I’ve seen your tenacity… I can’t help but admire you.”

“So you’ll let me in?”

“All in due time, Red,” AJ giggled, causing him to internally cringe instantly after. “But right now, we are both very tired, are we not?”

“Well, I suppose that’s true…”

“You should come back tomorrow, when we’ve both rested, and I’ve had time to… get ready for you…”

AJ seductively slid down against the door. He blushed wildly. What am I even doing…

“…You promise that you’ll let me in tomorrow?” Red cautiously asked.

“Of course, honey buns…” Too far! Too far!

“Did… did you just call me ‘honey buns’?”

“O-Oh dear,” AJ stuttered, panicking. “Th-The fatigue must be making me act silly. I should really get going! And s-so should you.”

There was a brief moment of silence.

“…You’re right,” Red finally responded. “We have been waiting here for quite a long time. We do need rest.”

AJ could hear Red getting up. He let out a quiet sigh of relief.

“Wait.”

AJ held his breath. What now?

“I don’t have to wear these clothes, right?”

AJ exhaled again. “You can wear anything you want, as long as it’s something,” he cooed.

“Good. See you tomorrow at noon.”

“Y-yeah, see ya!”

AJ heard Red walk off the doorstep. AJ moved to the window, and watched Red trudge across the cobblestone, gesture to his mon to come with - the mon looked very delighted - and disappear behind the corner.

“Oh, thank goodness, he’s finally gone,” AJ sighed, walking over to the living room and collapsing onto the couch again.

“Don’t get too comfortable yet, though. You’ll have to try twice as hard tomorrow,” Burrito reminded. He frowned. “We also really need to work on your flirting. That was atrocious.”

“Just let him rest for now,” Katie said, taking off AJ’s cap and placing it on the hat rack. “He needs to build up lots of energy for tomorrow.”

“Fair enough,” Burrito admitted, and jumped onto AJ’s chest. As AJ began to pet him, he purred softly, seeming content.