Barack Obama was given Nick Clegg today during the US President’s visit to the UK. The exchange of gifts between heads of state is a well-established tradition, although Cameron is thought to be the first prime minister to give a Liberal Democrat.

‘This is far superior to the chalice of bitter tears I received from Gordon Brown,’ said Obama. ‘I know Nick is valued by the British government for his unerring ability to attract the blame for policy bungles, and I’m excited to see how quickly my approval rating will improve.’

Fox News presenter Sean Hannity has already used his show to blame Clegg for the Missouri tornados, the American civil war and scalding hot coffee, all misfortunes he has historically attributed to Obama.

In exchange Obama presented Cameron with a gift voucher for one use of SEAL Team 6, the military squad that assassinated Osama Bin Laden. The Foreign Office has since advised British travellers not to visit Vince Cable’s house between 3am and 3.40am next Tuesday.