She was using her hands to create a barrier between you. I think she was trying to be nice about it, but you kept pushing her hands down as you tried to pull her in for a one-way embrace. It was pretty obvious that she was uncomfortable. And I wanted to ask: Could you not tell? Or did you just not care? I mean, is it ever a good sign when someone is literally dodging your continued attempts to kiss them like some adult version of "here comes the aeroplane"? Now, I’m not great with small talk, but you really need to work on your game. When I came over and said, “Hey is everything OK?” you simply told me to get lost. How rude. The question wasn’t even for you. Not content with your response I repeated my question. "Just double checking, is everything OK here?”

This time you were even less receptive, turning to me and threatening that, if I didn’t leave you alone, you’d get me kicked out. I’m assuming you know the owner or something, and throw this threat around to anyone who gets in your way. Could you not tell? Or did you just not care? Well, I’ve been kicked out of a few nightclubs over the years, and adding that one to the list did seem like an enticing offer – the flashing lights and lousy deep house mix just weren’t sitting well with me – but, to be honest, I didn’t feel comfortable leaving you alone with this woman. She was still pushing you off, and you seemed convinced that you were playing a game where the goal was to turn her "no" into a "yes". I thought of what I could say to break things up. Fighting to be louder than the awful music I yelled, “Hey man … umm, I don’t think she’s interested, you might just want leave her alone.”

Loading Gee, you shot me a sour look after that. It felt like someone had unplugged all the speakers and there was that generic record scratch into abrupt silence. Had things taken another few seconds I’m fairly certain you would’ve thrown one at me, but, thankfully, another voice spoke. “He’s … he’s OK, he’s with me … we went to school together.” She said, referring to me, accompanying her words with a fake a smile to ease the tension. With your attention fixed on the inconvenience that was me, this woman had enough time to slip from your grasp. Standing by my side she put her arm around my shoulder, really playing up that we were long lost friends from school.

So, I guess that was the last you saw of us and you’re probably wondering how the rest of the night went? Well, as I said, we went to the bar and ordered a drink under your name. I asked her if she was OK. “Yeah, I’m used to it; it happens all the time.” I hate hearing how normal this was for her. “That sucks. It really sucks. I'm so sorry,” I said. Surprisingly, she says you two actually know each other, and I bet there’s a fair chance you’ll probably text her this morning saying something like, “Hey what happened last night? You went missing haha." Making it seem like it’s no big deal.