Like most of you, I'm not really good at being an adult/socialized human being. I try to be a functioning member of society, but, on my best day, I'm still just a sweaty collection of farts and stuttered observations about pop culture, covered in a stained t-shirt. I'm always looking for advice on how to be a better person, and I often turn to celebrities, because they seem pretty on the ball. Last year, I learned all about myself (and also partying) by religiously reading and following everything that Andrew WK said on Twitter. This time around, I'm following the words of singer(?)/artist(?) Yoko Ono. Like WK, Ono loves giving advice on Twitter, so I decided to spend an entire business week reading her Twitter feed and following her advice.

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I settled on a business week because, if I had to do this for two more days, I would have murdered just everyone.

MONDAY: Exercising My Imagination

It's important to Yoko Ono that I use my imagination. She encourages everyone to just sit and think and dream and waste time on idle thoughts, which I imagine is a side effect of the potent combination of having lots of money and being surrounded by people who have absolutely no expectations of you. It's no surprise to me that I've had my dumbest and most self-absorbed ideas ("Man, I just think the world would be a better place if everyone would just take an hour out of every day and play Frisbee with me"), when I was young, and pointless, and when I didn't have a job or bills or a reason to be anywhere at any time. That, I imagine, is what being super rich is like. People who run around and work seem silly and frivolous to you, and you have all the time in the world to come up with unique imagination prompts, because you've achieved some kind of financial solvency-induced spiritual enlightenment.