10 Annoying Things We Can Do Without in 2013 Kevin Sullivan

Life sometimes, it seems, is just a series of events, good and bad, interrupted by great annoyances. OK, not exactly an inspiring quote. But, 2012, as decent of a year it was, wasn’t without it’s pains in the rear. In an effort to stay positive after the events of this past weekend, we’ll be posting the things we loved about 2012 soon. But, for now, here’s ten annoying things we’re either glad we won’t have to deal with next year or hope we won’t.

Doomsday Prophesies – Come this Friday, a lot of people are going to feel really silly when the world hasn’t come to an end (although, if it does, Harold Camping is going to be annoyed that he didn’t get his math right). But once this Mayan calendar nonsense has come and gone, can we all agree to take a break from worrying about the world ending and maybe using that energy towards something more productive? Maybe towards turning it into a world where we’re not all getting ready to panic in the streets? Unless the Cubs win the World Series in 2013 – then we can all probably assume the Earth is about to turn into a pile of space dust.

The Westboro Baptist Church – We almost didn’t want to include them on this list, simply because any copy they get in the media is just adding onto the problem. But for all their demonstrations, their plans to cause a scene outside of the funerals of the victims of the Newtown, CT tragedy has to be the last straw. We’re tired of them, tired of seeing them, tired of hearing about them and, of this moment, we’re tired of talking about them. Moving on…

The Election – There’s nothing wrong with a spirited political debate, even if we tend to avoid it here at Nuclear Salad (unless the debate is “Who would win in an election: Batman or Larry King?”). But, the election of 2012 caused people in the U.S. to get snippy with each other in ways we haven’t seen since the Iraq war. While there’s plenty of folks who don’t like our current President, be it because they simply don’t agree with his politics or because they’re racist football fans (by that we mean they’re football fans who are also racist – we’re not aware of any Racist Football League… so far),we think we can all agree that in 2013, maybe it’s time we put a little more effort into trying to get along as opposed to yelling at each other on Facebook.

Donald Trump – If there’s two things rational, civilized, intelligent people can agree to dislike, one would be the aforementioned WBC and the second would be Donald Trump. His continued hounding of the President on the “birther” “issue” have annoyed those on the left, while those on the right certainly remember his left-leaning comments over the years (at one point even calling himself a “liberal”) and see his antics for the desperate grab for attention they are. Take politics out of it, and he’s still just as annoying. We’re pretty sure it wouldn’t be that hard to raise $5 million dollars for charity in exchange for Trump going away and never coming back.

Dubstep – You’re more than likely familiar with this style of music if you’ve ever turned on a radio or a television or have been to a mall in the past twelve months. It could very well be described as a cross between a dial-up modem (ask your parents, kids!) and two Transformers having drunken robot sex in a swimming pool. We certainly aren’t asking for the music itself to go away – musical tastes are subjective, after all – but we would certainly like to be subjected to a lot less of it when, say, we’re watching TV and a car commercial comes on. Speaking of TV…

Honey Boo Boo – Actually, we’re talking about reality TV in general. OMG THEY’RE COMPLAINING ABOUT REALITY TV?! HOW CUTTING EDGE! All right, keep your pants on, we know. Everyone complains about reality TV, probably ever since Survivor finished its first season. But clearly someone is watching all these shows, to the point where the only thing I’ve learned from The Learning Channel is that we’re apparently in the wrong line of work. Usually our mantra is “if it sucks, don’t watch it” but, much like the aforementioned dubstep, it’s pretty hard to ignore when shows like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo are referenced on late night TV, newspapers and pretty much every other medium you can think of. With shows like Boardwalk Empire, Breaking Bad and Game of Thrones proving that scripted programming is finding a bigger audience, it would be great to see the hype over reality TV get turned down a few notches in 2013.

Viral Music – First off, this is clearly not going anywhere anytime soon. It’s not that these songs are bad – OK, quite a few of them are but that’s not the point. If you’re in a room with a bunch of people right now, take a look at them. At least two of them have made a Gangam Style parody video. While Gangnam and even, to a point, Call Me Maybe are decent songs (come on, it’s kind of catchy), it also brings songs like Friday and It’s Thanksgiving (no, seriously, that’s a real song – ok, here it is, but we’re not responsible for whatever happens to you after you watch it) into the conversation and, yeah, we all have a good laugh at how bad they are but it still gives them attention and then they just make more of them. It’s not like regular pop music that we may not like but that’s just because it’s not made for us (think of the music you listened to when you were 13) – this is music made simply because it’s awful, which gets people to watch it. Just… just stop it.

Getting Butthurt Over Video Game Endings – The long awaited conclusion to the Mass Effect trilogy hit store shelves earlier this year and garnered plenty of critical acclaim and massive sales (get it? Because it’s Mass Effect and it got mas… never mind). Of course, players eventually got to the ending – and that’s when the shitstorm started. Feeling like the choices they made over the course of the three games became instantly irrelevant, a number of gamers took to the web, signing petitions and essentially demanding Bioware to create a new ending for the game. One went so far as to even file a complaint with his state’s district attorney. Come to think of it, we weren’t particularly happy with the way E.T. ended – we’re demanding Steven Spielberg go back out and reshoot an ending we like better!

The Weather – Whether you think climate change is a real thing or not (it totally is, by the way), you have to admit that the weather this year was, at the very least, weird. Come on, there was a hurricane in New York City. The winter so far has either been unseasonably warm or ridiculously cold in areas where that simply makes no sense. No, bizarre weather patterns aren’t going to go away by 2013 – or any time soon for that matter. Just be prepared for blizzards in Phoenix or some shit like that, we guess.

No Louie In 2013 – I mean, we get it. Series creator Louis C.K. takes a lot of pride in his show, in which he pretty much has almost complete control over. If the man needs to take a year to recharge his batteries, work on some new ideas and, basically, live life (which is pretty much where the show ideas come from), then by all means he should do it. We know we’d personally rather wait a year than have some half-assed product rushed to the screen that he’s not not going to be happy with and disappoint the rest of us. So, take all the time you need, Louis. Still…. man, that’s annoying.

Well… we’re glad we got that off our collective chest. What annoyed you this past year? Share you thoughts in the comments below. And, again, keep an eye out for the stuff we thought was awesome coming very soon.