( Decider ) “In his first feature deal to direct since The Shape of Water won him Oscars for Best Picture and Best Director, Guillermo del Toro has made a deal with Netflix to co-direct his stop motion animated passion project Pinocchio. Del Toro has pined to make a darker version of the wooden boy tale for the past decade. He has written the script with Patrick McHale (Over The Garden Wall & Adventure Time), and will co-direct with Mark Gustafson (Fantastic Mr. Fox). Guy Davis will serve as co-production designer, taking inspiration for the Pinocchio character from Gris Grimly’s original designs drawn from Carlo Collodi’s 1883 novel, The Adventures of Pinocchio.”

I will say outright that there are two things I find extremely creepy in movies. Puppets, and stop-motion. The muppets? Keep’em. ‘The Nightmare Before Christmas’? Fuck that. Is the story of Pinocchio even interesting? It’s basically all a ruse by parents to get their shithead kids to stop lying. That all said, I do love Del Toro quite a bit and am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

He’s a master of monsters and weird shit, so it’s very possible the dark spin he has designed for it makes in so creepy that it’s must watch. Just please, no sex. If you haven’t seen Del Toro’s best-picture winner ‘The Shape of Water’, it features a woman fucking a fish monster. Just please don’t make anyone fuck Pinocchio, please. Especially not his nose, this is my honest plea.