Mr. President,

Given the tradition of Presidents granting pardons to people before their terms are up, we wish to submit this proposal that you grant Dylan Roof amnesty. Our homie Dylan was recently given the death penalty by a jury of his peers. We believe that this was the wrong decision.



First, I'd like to tell you more about Dylan. He was a good boy. He always got the best grades in school. He always went to church every Sunday with his grandma. He was tryna turn his life around. He always paid his child support, always took care his kids. He was gonna be go to college. He was gonna be a doctor. He was out preachin' the word of Jesus on the day he allegedly shot up that church. And most importantly: HE DINDU NUFFIN!

It is our firm belief that Dylan Roof would be better off for being rehabilitated under house arrest rather than put on death row. Please consider our modest proposal.

Thank you