Austin, TX — Your reading of a summary of a landmark new study in the prestigious journal Nature has confirmed all of your deeply-held biases.

The study is a 20 page, in-depth analysis which covers the fields of Mathematics, Sociology, Biology, Physics, and Chemistry. Several noted scientists have hailed the initial results as “promising” and “ready for further study”. Selected quotes from the article read “the results reported in this ground-breaking study are breathtaking in their implication. The methods used seem sound, and are ready for additional independent verification.”

However, all you saw was the summary and the headline, written by a Communications major who graduated with a 2.4 GPA, and whose main goal in life is to sell copy. “Honestly, my head started to spin after the first couple of paragraphs. Then I just started to skim. I had to hurry because my editor was breathing down my neck to get something published before CNN or or Fox News or WorldNet Daily could beat us to the punch.”

This Time, It’s Personal

Several of your Facebook friends also saw the same summary of the report and have all come to radically different conclusions than you. The ensuing “debates” have further reinforced your growing concern that you never really knew any of these people with whom you are sharing so many personal details. Other “friends” are offering their own summaries of the summary, which make you wonder if they really read the original summary completely in the first place or if they just skimmed the summary.

In a surprising move, one friend did not seem at all receptive to your interpretation of his summary of the summary, as it contradicted his interpretation. This then led to a bitter back and forth between you and two other friends over the correct summarization of the original summary.

In the end, the important thing is that you were right.

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