Sp*rs have released a statement on their website explaining to their fans that some of them won’t be able to go the FA Cup 3rd round tie against Arsenal because of a reduced ticket allocation.

FA Cup rules suggest that the visiting club should be given a 15% allocation, but according to their official website, Arsenal refused. They say:

The club applied for the maximum allocation of 9000 tickets (15%) for the forthcoming FA Cup third round tie at the Emirates Stadium. Following lengthy conversations, Arsenal Football Club has advised us that on safety and security grounds, experienced at previous Cup fixtures this season, they are only able to provide an allocation of 5,186 (8.64%).

Which sounds fair enough as otherwise they’d have to have the whole Clock End or upper tier tickets. Also, bearing in mind this game takes place at 5.15pm on a Saturday, when most of the visiting fans will have been drinking fortified wine and smoking cheap diesel all day, it’s sensible.

Still, not to be outdone by common sense or people’s safety and security, Sp*rs have responded in tit for tat fashion, saying:

In the event of a replay taking place at White Hart Lane, Arsenal will be provided with a reduced allocation equivalent to the percentage that we have received at the Emirates Stadium.

They then went on to say ‘Nyer nyer ner ner ner’ and ‘I know you are, but what am I?’, before writing ‘Arsenal r gay’ and running off.