Hey kids. You know what’s a fun way to learn about the history of our country? A trivia game! Here’s a chance to test your knowledge of America’s Presidents while learning lessons about history. Hard lessons. Lessons that will challenge your illusions of safety and leave dark stains on your soul.

Let’s play!

How many US Presidents are from Ohio?

Eight

Who was the first US President to ride a train?

Andrew Jackson

Which President’s were sons of a President?

John Q. Adams and George W. Bush

Who was the first US President installed in office with help from Russian intelligence?

According to AG Barr’s summary of the Mueller Report, it was Donald Trump

Which First Lady was the US’s first delegate to the United Nations

Eleanor Roosevelt

How many First Ladies had a career in nude modeling?

Only one, Melania Trump, pictured above in one of her tasteful, soft-core lesbian sets.

Who was the only President born in Kentucky?

Abraham Lincoln

How many Presidents have been fined by the US government for money laundering?

Just one, Donald Trump.

Who was the first President to publish an academic paper while in office?

Barack Obama

Who is the only President granted a patent?

Abraham Lincoln

Who was the first President to pay a settlement for running a fake university?

Donald Trump

Which President put his peanut farm in a blind trust to avoid any appearance of conflict of interest?

Jimmy Carter

How many President’s have accepted payments from foreign governments while in office?

Only one, Donald Trump.

Which US President spent his subsequent career building homes for the poor?

Jimmy Carter

Which US President was fined by the federal government for housing discrimination?

Donald Trump

How many US Presidents had their charities disbanded due to fraud?

Just one, Donald Trump

Which US President said of our border with Mexico, “open the border both ways?”

Ronald Reagan

Which US President arrested and imprisoned the children of legal immigrants to punish them for seeking asylum?

Donald Trump

How many US Presidents were forced to settle sexual assault lawsuits?

Bill Clinton and Donald Trump

How many US Presidents paid illegal hush money to hookers out of campaign funds?

Just Donald Trump

How many US Presidents bragged about their sexual assaults on tape?

Donald Trump

How many US Presidents were identified as un-indicted co-conspirators in a felony case?

Richard Nixon and Donald Trump

How many US Presidents filed for multiple bankruptcies?

Donald Trump

Which US President embezzled money from his charitable foundation?

Donald Trump

Which US President appealed to ‘the better angels of our nature’ to heal bitter national divisions?

Abraham Lincoln

Which US President offered to pay the legal bills of thugs who assaulted dissidents at campaign rallies?

Donald Trump

How many US Presidents tried to negotiate business deals with hostile foreign leaders while running for office?

Just one. Guess who.

Which US Presidents actively evaded the Vietnam draft?

Clinton, Bush 2, and Trump.

Which US President used a phony medical condition to escape the draft?

Trump

How many US Presidents partied with a convicted under-age sex-trafficker?

Bill Clinton and Donald Trump

Which US President was known as the “Trust-Buster” for fighting monopolies?

Teddy Roosevelt

Which US President was fined by the US government for lies told to escape anti-trust regulations?

Donald Trump

How many US Presidents were not cleared by a Special Prosecutor on obstruction of justice charges?

Nixon, Clinton and Trump

How many campaign managers for US Presidents owed millions of dollars to Russian mafia figures?

Just one, Donald Trump’s campaign manager Paul Manafort.

Which US Presidents were described as ‘Individual 1’ in a felony indictment?

Richard Nixon and Donald Trump

Did we learn anything…Still there?