Buying Tips Dating Apps

With the Internet, times have changed, and so has dating. If our parents used to meet the traditional way (let’s say through friends, work, or family), today dating apps — and the Internet — have profoundly amended the way we encounter people.

At first, we could think that using a dating app was solely for the purpose of finding a sex buddy; but in fact, there are way more reasons. The Knot says that over 40% of persons using dating apps are looking for a serious relationship — with 44% of females and 38% of males.

If you are not familiar with the online romance vocabulary such as swiping, matching, or ghosting, then make some research. Proof of such popularity, at the end of 2016, Bumble had 800 million matches while Zoosk registers today over 35 million users in over 80 countries and is listed #1 in the Apple App Store.

Using technology to find love is okay as long as you follow some rules and understand what you are after — and what you can get. Let’s explore how to make the most of dating apps for your needs and find out how the dating market has changed.

When do you need a dating app?

The majority of people seek a long-lasting relationship, wish to get married, and have children. Even if you do too, there’s a likelihood you can find your soulmate on Tinder, Bumble, or Happen — and even Facebook or Instagram.

Today, technology is accused to “market” love and to give birth to a “shopping spree,” as described by Carole Lieberman in her book Bad Boys. But on the other hand, dating apps allow more flexibility and provide more romantic possibilities than ever before. If your goal is to find a life-partner, a casual date, or just a hookup, dating apps bring all of this to you.

So what is your goal, and when do you need a dating app?

Indulging into therapy: Some studies found some people were at first using dating apps to find comfort or to talk to someone, especially after breaking up with their partner. Getting attention through online conversations enable men or women to swap away their old feelings. Even myself, I used dating apps twice after painful breakups.

Satisfying some ego or boosting confidence: Another aspect of using dating apps is to simply boost confidence and finding attraction among men or women. MarketWatch mentions that 44% of Tinder users swipe for “confidence-boosting procrastination” meaning to reassess their values and ego.

Making friends or simply by curiosity: Other interesting data suggest that among the 50 million people who ever tried a dating app, over 40% of them made friends on such apps. Dating doesn’t necessarily end up with a sexual or romantic affair, indeed. And if you don’t even try a dating app, then how can you even know if it’s for you?

Bonding when traveling: When going abroad, a good way to meet people is to use a dating app. As for me, I used Happn in Tokyo and met someone awesome one evening and went drinking with him. I also used once Tinder in Bangkok for Valentine’s day when I was single and had a proper Valentine’s date.

Getting instant sex: DatingNews mentions that one in third women using a dating app have sex after their first date (and even that four in five of them don’t even use protection). True, dating apps are used for instant sex. Remember to stay protected when meeting with someone through a dating app and during your first date.

Finding a romantic partner or casual romance: Tinder had a reputation for being a hookup app when it launched in 2012, similar to Grindr for the gay male community. But today, people are more positive about Tinder — and dating apps in general — and view them as tools to find a romantic partner, similar to going to a bar, at work, or when traveling.

Looking for a meaningful relationship: According to muchneed.com, 80% of Tinder users are, in fact, looking for a meaningful relationship — that is to say, either getting married or establish a healthy romantic partnership for some time. If we thought that dating apps were first used for sex, we went wrong!

The market for dating apps today

According to a thread on Quora, 91 million people worldwide would use dating apps. Forbes has researched that, in total, there are about 8,000 dating websites and apps today. Attitude toward online dating also appears more positive, with 59% of people thinking of dating apps as a good way to meet people over 44% in 2005, a study from Pew Research Center highlights.

Tinder was launched in 2012 and today has 10 million active users — the app is preferred in the USA among Millennials. Another popular dating website, Adult Friend Finder, would attract 25 million visits per month. Let’s say it clearly: the dating website market is flourishing!

Dating app etiquette

Play the honesty card. Don’t say something you don’t mean. It works either for your first date — or online when you talk for the first time. Don’t play the fool, stay cool, and remain honest at any time.

Don’t mislead others. Some studies have found out that women tend to lie over their appearance by showing photos of when they were younger, while men mention fake occupations or lower their age.

Be frank and don’t open yourself too much. Keep your full identity safe until you have met the person or at least exchanged a few times together or met personally. Stay protected at all times.

Open up with a simple conversation that starts with a “Hello, how are you” rather than “Hey, fancy a f*** tonight?” Stay classy and polite. You actually don’t know what the other person has in mind, so don’t make assumptions.

When you decide to go on a date, don’t cancel at the last minute or don't stand up someone. Some studies have shown that, on average, for 53 matches, only four actual dates happen.

MarketWatch stats over dating

If you have met someone and liked this person, then say so. Respond with a new text and mention that you’d be pleased to plan a second date, “I had fun meeting with you, and I would love to see you again.”

On the other hand, if you didn’t like the person after the first date, simply leave with a smile and say, “It was nice to meet you.” Don’t show the other person you actually don’t plan to see her or him again with a “Bye, take care.”

Non-verbal communications can’t work online. If, like me, you enjoy hearing the voice of someone, seeing him or her smiling and studying the mimics, on a dating app, you can’t do this. Be creative and try to decipher such small elements during a date, if any.

Ghosting is a phenomenon that has grown in popularity over the last years, and especially with online dating. Ghosting can be referred to as the practice of ignoring someone intentionally after an initial meeting or a chat and disappear. Learn how to get away clean.

How to get away clean?

Sometimes, after meeting up with someone, you may end in turmoil yourself, and wonder if this person is for you. For multiple, personal reasons, ghosting may be necessary.

Either you simply don’t match and can’t find a reason to continue the communications with the other person, or you did match, but in between, you found another person you liked more.

Another scenario may deal with a series of disappointments you don’t want to experience again, and after a try, you’d rather just leave. Or, you are already in a relationship, like 60% of people who use dating apps, and finally, can’t seem to get back to yourself.

Finally, maybe you stumbled upon someone who is disrespectful and decided to leave.

For whatever reasons, just get away clean by doing the following:

Start to take distance, don’t respond too often, and be elusive regarding your daily routine.

Slowly, with time, the person will surely stop messaging. Nobody keeps giving without receiving.

Don’t let the other waste his or her time. If you had another date, cancel in advance.

If you have a business trip or a holiday soon, take the occasion to not respond anymore.

Do spend time with friends or family and mention you have no time for them now.

Focus on your work and personal projects first, and don’t turn back.

Ghosting is irreversible, so be sure to only ghost people you will never see again. You can also delete them from social media after a certain time. At any time, stay polite, friendly, and leave nicely.

Getting familiar with gender identities and sexual orientations

Perhaps, you don't know where you belong, or what to look for, but the good news is that there are so many gender identities to choose from.

Indeed, we can find around 63 genders listed on apath.org. Some of them are quite common, others a bit less:

Masculine homosexual man

Feminine homosexual woman

Androgyne bisexual woman

Masculine bisexual andradite

Androgyne homosexual androfemale

And way more.

For fun, you can also have a look at the comprehensive list of LGBTQ definitions. From gay to bicurious, from stealth to straight, every sexual orientation is covered.

Once you have defined your sexual orientation, be clear and honest in your introduction in the app. Don’t fool others by pretending you are gay if you are just straight.

On the other hand, if you are open-minded and want to try new things, feel free to say it. The beauty of dating apps is honesty, accessibility, and the idea of “trying things out” that you could not easily do in the real world. So play your cards well and enjoy.

The nicest (and craziest) stories that happened on dating apps

“Love at first swift” does exist, as seen in some of the best stories in online dating. The truth is that some people do get married after they met on a dating app, and some couples do form for a long time. In fact, datingnews.com reports that one if five committed relationships began online.

On the contrary, some awful stories may also happen when dating online. Be careful with regards to perverts or weirdos. There are also people to stay away from when dating online:

The funny and poetic guy/girl: True, it’s fun to be fun, but don’t overdo it, especially when you don’t even know the person.

The puppy addict guy/girl: If the other person can’t seem to have a passion or something amazing to share with you apart from talking about his or her puppy, then consider another date.

The player: You will recognize the player straight away. This person is someone who is confident, very good looking, and can’t seem to be even online for a few days since he or she is too busy with other dates already.

The sexual implicit person: Of course, you can talk about sex since dating apps are also used for sex, but do it if only there’s a “demand” for it. Don’t overexaggerate or send naked photos at first.

Are dating apps really for you?

Some success stories may inspire you to use dating apps — others could make you feel like, “Well, I don’t think this is for me.” Either way, the decision is yours; take advantage of new technology to meet new people, stick to the golden rules of online dating as specified above, and please be patient as you may not find the perfect love at first "swift" straight away.

Final Tips and security

Beware of fake profiles or weirdos who may wander on dating apps. It’s always good to check a few social accounts to actually see if the person is real and is not hiding behind a fake profile.