The FIFA World Cup 2018 is only days away, so what do you need to know? Comedian Ed Kavalee has written himself a mail bag of frequently asked questions before it all kicks off.

Ed, why did you get to write this?

Fair point, Ed. I sucked as a player and the closest I've ever come to the Socceroos is that I swapped a pair of tracksuit pants with Tim Cahill's brother in 1995.

I have seen every game of every World Cup since 1990 and in preparation for this year's edition I've re-watched every final since 1986. Also, I was cheap.

Is it going to be any good?

The World Cup is the best.

If you disagree, go and play Candy Crush Saga while the rest of us happily give away sleep for the next month.

This is a very open tournament. Of the 32 teams, as many as four-and-a-half teams have a chance of winning. That is actually a lot and I'll explain later.

What will be the trends of this year's World Cup?

Wingers cutting inside, generally poor central defences and the Video Assistant Referee (VAR) introduced for the first time.

This will make cheating harder, which is a real shame because Italy hasn't qualified. It would have been nice to see them argue with a screen.

What will the World Cup show us about the current state of geo politics?

Don't know. Please refer such questions to Leigh Sales and Barrie Cassidy.

Who wins?

As many as four-and-a-half teams have a real chance! Germany. France. Brazil. Spain. Argentina is the half. They have the best player in the world, one Lionel Messi.

They also have a defence made up of players that he would even struggle to name. If a barista or blogger tries to talk you into Belgium or England just keep calm, smile politely and then block them on all social media platforms.

World Cups are won by squads. One player goes down and another fills the breach. Last time it was a German substitute, Mario Gotze who scored the winning goal in the final.

Germany is so good that he's not even in the squad this time. It's very hard to defend the title. Germany's main concern is that they are rushing their goalkeeper back from injury.

France has a coach that was a 'water carrier' as a player. Believe it or not, that's a compliment.

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The French have three players that could be the best in the world. That's a huge advantage but also possibly where the personality clashes could start. Team harmony is their real test.

If the French can stay friends they have their best chance since '98.

Brazil has been blessed by an injury to their best player Neymar. Normally that would be a disaster but it's forced them to develop a Plan B. In 2014 they didn't have one and a 7-1 loss to Germany was the result.

Spain has quietly stayed amazing and if they can find a striker they can trust then they should be in the semis at least.

What about Australia?

We have a Dutch coach. A Feyenoord Dutch coach. That's an important distinction. He took Holland to the World Cup final with a brand of football the UFC would be proud of.

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Our game against Peru is crucial. Peru is a passionate football nation and their team has echoes of ours.

Good players but it's team spirit that makes them better than the sum of their parts. Great fans too.

Their captain just won an appeal against a drugs ban to play at the Cup. Sadly we couldn't secure the same for Cassie Sainsbury.

What about the host nation Russia?

What about them? You want me to write something disparaging about their team? That they are the lowest ranked team in the whole tournament? That their only chance to win would be some truly monumental backroom deals and a series of dodgy refereeing calls? Not going to happen.

That's all fine, Ed but I'm a busy person. I have a job and a chia farm to tend to. What am I looking out for?

Pure moments of football genius. Moments that are remembered long after the tournament is over.

Like Diego Maradona in 1986. Maradona's Argentina defeated England in the quarter-final. Maradona scored two goals. The 'Hand of God' goal. Flat out cheating, he gets away with what would have been disallowed using VAR this time around.

Then he scores the best individual World Cup goal of all time. Maradona receives a pass on the halfway line, beats six English players and scores.

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He would have beat all 11 but the other five were too slow to get near him. Hector Enrique, the player that passed the ball to Maradona on the halfway line later said: "I put it on plate for him, he couldn't miss."

That's the FIFA World Cup at its finest. The world's best players showing it to a global audience and England getting knocked out.

Ed Kavalee is one third of Santo, Sam and Ed's Total Football. You can hear and watch their coverage over the course of FIFA World Cup on iView, ABC Listen app or wherever you find your favourite podcasts.