Every fortnight survival expert Andy Hamilton writes a fresh column in our "What Would Happen If..." series, exploring the potential outcome of unpredictable threats to our everyday lives, and how to survive them.

The 24-hour news channels might have made the Eyjafjallajokull volcano eruption seem like a huge disaster, but in actuality it is merely a blip; a small inconvenience. Even if it carries on erupting, it is like a fart in sea of methane.

The same could not be said if a super volcano erupted, and there are at least 40 of these on our planet. The super volcano over in Yellowstone National Park, USA, erupts once every 600,000 years. Worryingly, it last erupted 640,000 years ago and is thought to be the cause of the last ice age. We're overdue, and bison have been found dead around the volcano, the ground has been shaking, rising, getting warmer and gas is being emitted -- all signs that an overdue eruption is imminent.


When this does happen (and we are certain it will), it will cause untold "disruption". Those within the vicinity will be incinerated as temperatures from the lava flow can reach up to 500 degrees, meaning all surrounding cities will be utterly destroyed. If you somehow managed to survive the fast flowing lava, the thick ash cloud that would rain down would choke you to death. All the states surrounding Wyoming would certainly perish very quickly.

The UK and the rest of Earth would not escape. We would all be affected, wherever we were. Global temperatures would plummet by at least 21 degrees. This could last for many years, meaning that all plant life will slowly die off. We will have no vegetables; animals -- our meat -- will have no food, so humankind would likely starve.

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Well, the fact is that hardly anyone will survive. Perhaps a handful of people here and there will, but that's wishful thinking. Those based deep underground in military installations for instance, may stand a chance.

Any of us surviving commoners will have a miserable existence. The sun does not just provide warmth -- it is also needed for our mental well being, as the high winter rates of suicide in Iceland show. No fresh food would also cause malnutrition at levels we have never seen. Most of Europe and the rest of the world will slowly perish.


Tinned food will be the only luxury and those that live near enough to it will be those who survive longest. Seychelles is far enough away from the volcanic activity for the ash cloud not to choke us all. It is also, fortunately, home to the world's largest tuna fish canning factory and is just four degrees south of the equator. It's an ideal warm spot in the middle of an ice age.

So fish-eating humans on the Seychelles islands and government officials will be those who take mankind into the 22nd century. I guess it isn't important who comes out on top; what matters is to come out alive.

Previously in What Would Happen If...

What would happen if: The Plague hit the UK?

What would happen if: Rabies consumed Europe?

What would happen if: The UK entered an ice age?

What would happen if: Chemical bombs hit London?

What would happen if: Electricity and gas just stopped?