This month with half the votes a clear winner shot ahead in the polls.

Little interest was shown for the NHS wasting money on hiring Buddisht monks to give staff “Happiness Courses”. They may even now be scheduling additional courses to cope with not winning this months award.

A mere second place was given to Austrian bishop Andreas Laun for suggesting that the “Love Parade” disaster was a punishment from God for the sins of it’s participants.

The winner this month however is another case of some of the religious amongst us targeting something else that children keep in their trousers. This time… their phones.

Reminiscent perhaps of how Santa Claus leaves notes for Children at Christmas, while eating and drinking the offerings lovingly left out by his believers… leaving half chewed scraps as evidence the next morning…. God has been phoning children at St. Nicholas of Myra vacation bible school in North Dighton, Massachusetts.

One wonders if this would not be more awe inspiring if God did not have to communicate with the Matrix through phones like “The One” in the film. A voice manifesting itself from an area of thin air in the centre of the room might have been beyond the budget of the volunteers who saw fit to spend their money on a “Science Station” based on showing children how to draw circles.

God’s time however is limited and not everyone in the world will be receiving his phone calls and burning bushes are too passé. For this reason God saw fit to use his phone call to recruit children to preach in his name. “He told me to fish for people,” 8-year-old Noelle Nunes said, “and tell everyone about him.”