Beach Spin Becca is a Senior Editor for All About The Tea. She's a coastal girl who loves the outdoors, and writing about the sneaky and silly side of reality TV. Her bio is short, but her snark is endless. She loves writing for the sharpest posters in the world.

Dear Bravo,

A disturbing rumor is buzzing around the cybersphere, like an annoying mosquito, that you just want to slap.

Is it true that you are planning to reinstate Brandi Glanville back into the cast of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills? Viewers are guessing that our vacation is over, and we will soon be stuck with that head bitch, from Lisa Vanderpump’s tagline. I sincerely hope that this is nothing but idle gossip.

I understand that you are licking your wounds over your promising pair of soapy sophomores, committing fan suicide. I also once loved Lisa Rinna and Eileen Davidson — but alas it was a short romance. The duo’s true personalities wrecked a good thing, but that doesn’t mean that fans deserve to have crazy and snoozy exchanged with drunk and trashy. This is Beverly Hills dah-ling, not a common street corner. I understand that it’s normal during times of upheaval, to focus on the good and forget the bad, but I ask you to shake off the urge to rationalize, and think back.

Brandi Glanville’s selfish “screw you” attitude will not be successful in any ensemble dynamic. You never know what Brandi will say or do — and the charm of her “unfiltered” shtick, is as lifeless as her frozen face. Brandi is in a legal battle with another one of your Bravo beauties, because her selfish need for attention, outweighed any rational fear of consequences. How will the other women manage any sort of relationship with someone who is so blinded by self, that no one else matters?

Brandi has scorched professional and personal friendships — remember the nastiness aimed and shot at Ken and Lisa? That kind couple made the mistake of protecting and nurturing an underdog, only to be peed on, and viciously bitten by the ungrateful backbiter, who still rants the same exhausted complaints, two seasons later. She alienates cast members left and right — past and present. When a career addict and a batty manipulator are the only ones who can stomach filming with you, there is a problem.

Let’s not forget Brandi’s enchanting blurts, those whoopsies that make the public cringe. Remember her charming ditty about wishing she had been molested as a child? Do you really want to invite a woman who pukes up such a comment? Brandi belches out shock and awe tomfoolery just for reaction, sort of like a neglected, wall-punching adolescent. You may see such antics as good reality TV, but just FYI — most of your viewers aren’t ‘bite my ass’ teenagers.

When Brandi busted onto the scene, fans believed she was a beaten down diamond in the rough, seeking growth. I didn’t think it was possible — but I actually think she has gone backwards. She even markets juvenile quips about being drunk, drugged, and obnoxiously mouthy. Maybe you could start a Real Housewives of Rehab Alley — and make Glanville the star. I know a certain sidekick, who you could probably get cheap! Andy Cohen could be the head counselor, and be given the task of reveling in the gloriously raunchy banter — dialogue he so appears to enjoy. Another thing — in one of Brandi’s brief cameos lasts season, she was wearing shiny gold spandex, big hair, and a chunky street necklace. I know she was shooting for Erika Jayne—but she looked more like Kardash-trash, and that is the last nuance viewers need, or want.

Fans want wealth and piles of it — not a cheap trick dragging her stripper pole from rental to rental, while trying to bag the most hard-up moving guy. This is BEVERLY HILLS. Refer to the classy lady you pounded into a pink puddle this season — we want more like her!

I respectfully ask you to consider hiring UP, when you take out the Season 6 trash — not down. We all want to cheer “BRAVO!”— not shake our heads, plug our ears, and change the channel.

Thanks Bravo.

Sincerely,

A Concerned Fan

“Like” us on Facebook “Follow” us on Twitter and on Instagram