The ceramic shrine to red meat that adorns the parking lot of the Amsterdam Ponderosa got me to thinking about how morbid food marketing used to be.

Take, for instance, Big Daddy. Ideally we’re supposed to look at this bull and laugh, but I couldn’t escape the notion that this creature was doomed to be consumed by man. It seems morbid to me, though I’m sure some Animal Rights folks would go further.

The worst, though, was the McNugget Buddies.

Created by McDonalds to sell their Chicken McNuggets to kids, the McNugget Buddies were actual McNuggets themselves. They would gleefully sing and shout their joy at their impending doom, even going so far as to jump into tiny containers of barbecue sauce.

To call them self-destructive would be an understatement, and a bit of a misnomer. Someone who’s self-destructive will engage in behaviors that are detrimental to their health. The McNugget Buddies went far beyond that, and actually encouraged their consumption.

“Murder me,” they’d say. “Murder me, and eat me. Then laugh.”

The McNuggets, along with other McDonalds Land “delights,” were retired in the 21st Century in favor of images of real people eating inside the restaurant. Comparatively speaking, it’s painfully dull and colorless. Sure, the McNugget Buddies and their ilk were awkward and morbid avatars of greasy gluttony, but at least they weren’t boring.

Also of note: Grimace, the lovable creature whose nature was a mystery to us all, originally started out as a shake-stealing villain with four arms. Frightening.

Before anyone asks: no, there won’t be any nostalgic trips to McDonalds. I gave that stuff up years ago and I’m all the better for it.