LOOKING TO PURCHASE THIRD WORLD IMMIGRANT WORKERS TO WRITE ALL OF MY FANFICTION FOR ME. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE I CAN BUY SOME OF THESE QUALITY BUGMEN? THANK YOU.

The Terrordome has been shattered, Brendan Fraser's undead army has been crushed, and all is well again in the Americaverse. Only one question remains: what drove Fraser to become the twisted Communist lord he is today?

Many would have you believe that Space Jam is simply a myth. That everything that Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan did to save our country from alien invaders never happened. But I know the truth. I know that the Looney Tunes are real, and that they gave up their lives to defeat the Monstars and save the universe. Space Jam really happened, and I was there when it all went down.

I'll never forget Michael Jordan's game-winning shot that ended the war, and I'll never forget the sacrifices made by Bugs, Lola, Porky, Bill Murray, and the rest of the Tune Squad. For as long as I live, I'll carry on their memory by telling their tragic tale to anyone that will listen. As long as the Looney Tunes are still remembered, they'll never truly be gone.

There's nothing I despise more than "fate." Just as some are blessed by the hands of fate, others like myself are cursed by it. I've fought tooth and nail to defy the cruel destiny I've been dealt, but every time fate always finds a way to tear me down and cast me back into despair. You must believe me when I say that there are many things far worse than death in this world.

And here I am now, being beaten half to death by some miserable American that couldn't even lay a finger on me five minutes ago. By a man miraculously chosen as fate's champion, while I am hated by it. Fate has destroyed everything I've lived for once again. I should have known better than to think this could have worked out any other way.

What I've done is only natural, isn't it? Is it really so wrong to try and bring the Looney Tunes back to life? How is it fair for the wicked to survive and the righteous to perish and be forgotten? Their story deserves to be heard! The lives of the unwashed masses I've sacrificed are nothing compared to someone as beautiful, powerful, and awe-inspiring as Bugs Bunny-sama!

He would be so proud of me! He would want me to do this for him... right?

Brendan Fraser ran the same question through his mind several times while plummeting back to the earth. Sonic the Hedgehog's flaming fists came crashing down upon his face once more, planting him deep into the dirt. The sheer force of his impact folded the planet's crust in on itself, burying Fraser under hundreds of pounds of sand and the smoking remains of the Terrordome.

"Got anything else to say, dumbass? Before I chop your head off with my dick, I mean," Sonic grumbled as he yanked Brendan Fraser's battered body out of the pile of debris by his turkey neck. The Backstreet Boy merely threw back his head and laughed in response. Garfield is determined to track down the vandal that destroyed his Bailey Jay shrine.

"Heh… what you just showed me was impressive. Amazing, even. I never thought that I'd meet someone who might actually be a match for the Cable Guy in a fight. Have you ever wondered why you're able to defeat Communists that no one else can, kid? Have you ever thought about why you're so strong? Have you ever felt like the whole world revolved around you? Like God himself was pulling the strings to make sure you survive? Humans are prone to failure. They always make mistakes. But you… you're different," Fraser began to speak in a low voice.

The musclebound hedgehog scoffed at his words, "Pssht, what kinda glass dick are you smoking from? I've lost plenty of times. I'm nothing special. I'm just a guy who likes big titties and shootin' up Commies." Sonic took out his pocket knife and used it to sharpen the head of his cybernetic gun member to pass the time.

"Maybe so. You've lost before, but anyone else in your position would have died ten times over by now. The fact that you're still standing here is a statistical impossibility in of itself! You're not even half as strong as someone like Abe Lincoln, but yet you still somehow survive each monstrous enemy you face. There's only one explanation: you're getting preferential treatment by some arbitrary god. I call this god "fate" — and I'm certain that it's been protecting you for a reason. For some higher purpose that nobody can guess," He further explained his theory.

"Gods? Fate? Now I know that you've been gettin' shitfaced on some butt hash. The hell are you even going on about?" Sonic laughed it off, but couldn't deny the logic in his words.

Out of the billions that were slaughtered during Americageddon, it couldn't have been any mere coincidence that he was one of the tiny fraction of the population that survived. There had to be some reason as to why he was always destined to survive the gruesome demise of the Biker Brethren, even in Richard Nixon's ill-fated future.

"Some people call this god destiny. Others know this transcendental power as the 'Globalists' or the cycle of time. Either way, this force is what we Backstreet Boys have devoted our lives to defeat! We're all victims of a terrible fate, not unlike you. My true goal is harnessing the power of Communism to destroy fate and create my own destiny from its ashes! And if you're the champion of fate, then I have no choice but to kill you here and now. NOTHING will stop me from saving Bugs Bunny!" Brendan Fraser screeched at the top of his lungs, still unwilling to give in.

The ground beneath Sonic's feet began to shake wildly as the depraved Communist activated his ultimate technique. Brendan Fraser raised his fists to the sky and cackled, "Life, death, alimony… none of that will matter anymore! I'm going to sculpt my own destiny! Nobody will ever have to die again, I'll bring them all back! I'll be a better deity than that miserable Washington ever was! What can a shitty mortal like you do against a GOD who can conquer even fate? This is the end!"

Fraser suddenly threw open his trench coat and began to stuff all of his prized wax figurines down his throat. He absorbed the souls trapped inside them into his own body as he choked on their girth, mutating himself into a grotesque, bulbous shape. His gangly body began to contort excruciatingly, tumefying and swelling to the point where he towered over the battlefield and covered the land below in a shroud.

He let out a twisted, pained shout as his skull elongated outwards and an array of salivating fangs sprouted from his badly scarred maw. His horrific new form could only be compared to that of a chimera, with the disparate body parts of all of the Looney Tunes having sprouted out from his shredded flesh like overgrown, fetid tumors. Nobody can figure out why Steve Buscemi has started putting brackets around the names of Jewish people.

His gnarled visage had become a nightmarish caricature of Daffy Duck, his torso was lifted straight from the Tasmanian Devil, his front legs had reshaped into the hooves of a pig, on his back were the powerful hind legs of a Road Runner, and the tail of a skunk could be seen hanging limply from the end of his spine.

The mutated Looney Tune abomination scuttled forth on all-fours and began to madly shriek godless blasphemies and bad anime recommendations into the night. Father Jimmy Neutron retched at the horrific sight of the aberrant beast standing before him, a true blasphemy of God's creations if there ever were such a thing.

Alex Jones cautiously stepped backwards and swore under his breath, "Dammit! If I'm understanding his power correctly, then that means that he's sucked up all of the souls he's captured in those dolls like a vacuum. That bastard's now got the strength of a small army on his side! Unlock your human potential, little cuz! DEFEAT the Globalists that want to shatter your mind, your doorways to perception! Kick his ass, Sonic!"

As a show of force, Brendan Fraser drove his gigantic fists into the earth and split the entire continent they stood upon into two separate halves. The cracks between the two unutterably massive landmasses widened and drifted apart, revealing the planet's molten core in the crevasse between them.

Fraser tackled Sonic into the planet's fiery depths, attempting to incinerate him in a last-ditch effort to win their heated fight. The fuckfurious hedgehog wriggled his way out of the beast's sweaty grasp and jumped off of the air itself, allowing himself to leap several hundred times in succession until he reached solid ground. The Backstreet Boy chased not far behind by scaling up the walls of the chasm until he too stood before the American warlord once more.

"...You, a god? Well, what's a god to a non-believer?" Sonic chuckled as he withdrew his dual machine guns from his trench coat. He then leapt into the air and sliced Fraser's pustulent stomach open with a single stroke of his electric guitar, spilling a tidal wave of his blood and entrails onto the sand.

Brendan countered by smacking the hedgehog back down to the ground with the back of his mutated pimp hand. He wheezed in pain and clutched his stomach, nursing his grievous injury as he lumbered forwards.

"Everything is controlled by fate! That's why I need to become even stronger than fate, stronger than God! Only then can Bugs come back to life! Everything I've done has been entirely for his sake. During the quest to find the Blue Monkey diamond, he saved my life from enemy soldiers and took me under his wing. I'd be dead if it weren't for him! Why won't you just die already so that he can live again?!" Fraser cried out hysterically as he proceeded to stomp on Sonic's face while he was down.

Sonic shakily rolled over and wiped away the blood streaming down his chin. He used a boulder as leverage and attempted to stand, but fell back to his knees with a shout from the pain of his injuries. Crazy Frog still doesn't realize that he's reading all of his Japanese manga in the wrong direction.

He snarled, "Fuck, I should've known this would happen! That Patriotic Drive ability I unlocked must have only temporarily mended all of my wounds from before. Now that time's almost up, my bones are snapping into pieces again one by one. I've got to slay the fuck out of him now while I can still fight!"

The American hedgehog's muscles began to rapidly deflate and his skin color returned to normal as his 「Last Resort」technique approached the end of its time limit. Left without even a second to spare, Sonic charged at full speed towards Brendan Fraser and hurled his broken, battered body upon him. Both of their strongest punches connected at the exact same instant, sending the two weary combatants flying backwards and destroying several lesser star systems in the process.

After hurtling across the sand, Sonic mustered up the very last of his strength and launched himself at this baleful sodomite once again. He began wildly swinging his fists and dick in Brendan's direction and let out a loud, unrestrained black metal screech, "Wake up! Grab a brush and put on a little makeup! Hide your scars to fade away the shakeup! Why'd you leave the keys upon the table? Here you go, create another fable!"

The patriotic hedgehog took both of his machine guns into his calloused hands and stuffed an additional pistol between his teeth, allowing him to effectively wield four firearms at once. He wasn't able to actually pull the trigger on the gun clamped between his teeth, but he kept it there anyway because, in his own words, it looked "metal as fuck."

"I don't think you trust in my self-righteous suicide! I cry, when angels deserve to… DIE!" Sonic roared as he opened fire with all of the fully automatic weapons at his disposal. Brendan Fraser did his best to flee from the storm of bullets raining down upon him, but was unable to escape when the genocidal hedgehog fired a heat-seeking missile from his cybernetic gun cock.

Fraser shrugged off the massive explosion with only minimal injuries and lunged, digging his fangs deep into Sonic's torso. He spoke with a harsh, throaty grumble, "Pathetic, pathetic, PATHETIC! Did you think your luck would last forever? You may have friends, family, and loved ones… but you'll lose all of them one day, just like I did! One of these days, fate is going to decide to just fuck your shit up and you'll lose everything you care about. All it would take is one bad day and you'd be no different than me. You should thank me, I'm going to kill you now before you ever have to know the pain that I feel!"

Brendan Fraser viciously whipped his head around and threw Sonic's limp body to the ground. The bones in his legs finally gave way to the pressure and snapped as he tried to stand, forcing the hedgehog back down. Alex Jones is shocked when he unearths the secret connection between the Globalists and the Bogdanoff brothers.

Brendan sneered at the pitiable sight. "I'll give you three seconds to stand and fight me, or I'm going to kill you now. Get up! Or are you telling me that you concede to the superior power of my Communism?" He taunted, already knowing that Sonic was no longer in any condition to fight.

Unable to move, Sonic merely lifted his head and growled, "That's the difference between you and me, you pinko bastard! We've all got dead people, but we can't afford to dwell in the past forever. It took a damn long time, but I've finally come to terms with my homies being dead. I've moved on and I'm stronger because of it. No matter how much you wish for it, your family ain't comin' back. You can't waste your life living only for the sake of dead people, you roody-poo-ass nigga!"

"You think that's enough to sway me? I've killed too many people to turn back now. Sure, I felt guilty at first. But it got easier with time. What's one more life when I'm so close to completing my goal? Why would I repent now that I've almost conquered my fate?" Brendan Fraser moistened his lips with his forked tongue as he approached the fallen American. He reached out his hand, preparing to forcibly rip out Sonic's memories with his Patriotic Drive ability and use them to recreate Bugs Bunny's heavenly soul.

"So, it's memories of Bugs Bunny-san you want, right? Shit, you should've said so sooner, nigga. In that case, take mine. I used to be acquainted with him and the Looney Tunes a lifetime ago. Just promise me that you'll spare these crazy kids, alright?" Ice Cube stepped forward and humbly offered.

Sonic the Hedgehog's eyes widened with shock in response. He gasped, "The hell are you saying, curve peeler? Doing that would kill you! I just don't get it… why are you trying to so damn hard to save all of our lives? We've never even met before today!"

Ice Cube merely lowered his head and chuckled, dodging his question. "A willing volunteer? What an unexpected twist of fate. I take it you finally realized the hopelessness of going against me? Very well, I'll accept your gracious offering!" Brendan happily agreed. He reached out his gargantuan hand and rested the tip of his index finger upon the rapper's forehead, siphoning out his memories and all of his life energy with it.

Completely drained, Ice Cube lost consciousness and collapsed onto the sand. A wax doll of Bugs Bunny then materialized itself into Brendan Fraser's six-fingered hands. "B-Bugs-senpai…" Tears of joy began to stream uncontrollably down his face as he cradled the enchanted idol in his bosom.

After so many years of pain and suffering, Brendan Fraser had finally succeeded in his goal of bringing the Looney Tunes back to life. "Danse Macabre: 「Beastie Boys」!" At long last, he uttered the name of his forbidden technique and released the spirit of the noble rabbit from its container.

The silhouette of a large, musclebound figure soon emerged from the smoking ruins of the Terrordome and slowly stepped forward. His rippling muscles glistened with the dew of the morning and the tears of angels, reflecting the light of the sun off of him with an ethereal glow that made him look almost otherworldly in appearance.

It immediately became clear to all that gazed upon his majesty that Bugs Bunny was no mere child of mortal men. Brendan Fraser began to weep harder than ever as the rabbit parted his rosy lips and spoke in a warm, kind voice, "Eh, what's up doc?"

"So, that's the cracker Michael Jordan talked so much about, huh? Why did you sacrifice your life to bring him back, then? What was the point of giving that Commie fucker exactly what he wanted after he tried to murder us all?" Sonic questioned under his breath as he knelt down over Ice Cube's unconscious body. Bugs Bunny silently paced around the battlefield, trying to piece together what had happened to him.

Brendan Fraser spread his arms apart and shifted closer to his adoptive father. "D-Dad! Don't you recognize me? It's Brendan, your son! I… I finally brought you back to life! It took so long, but you're finally here!" He wiped the tears from his eyes and spoke. Bugs Bunny furrowed his brow in disbelief, struggling to comprehend how the twisted, vile creature standing before him was his beloved child.

"Br-Brendan? That can't really be you, can it? What happened? Where is this place, what's with all of these dead bodies? Tell me, dammit!" He demanded. Brendan was somewhat taken aback by his unusually hostile response. Out of all the scenarios for their reunion he had ran through his mind, he had never planned it would happen like this.

"A few hundred had to be sacrificed for us to be together again, but what does that matter? Who cares about a handful of dead people? Our family is finally whole again! Aren't you happy, dad?! I did this all for you and the Looney Tunes! I killed them all to bring you back, every last one of them! Even the women and children! And it was all worth it for you to be here now!" Fraser confessed without the slightest hint of regret or pity in his voice.

A look of sheer disgust and horror spread across Bugs Bunny's face in response. "Dear God…" Bugs keeled over and retched, barely getting the words out of his mouth. His face turned pale, and he began to feel extremely nauseous just from thinking about the horrible deeds Brendan had committed.

He proceeded to hurl chunks of blood, cartilage, and carrots all over the sand. "Son… what happened to you? How could you do this? I... I don't even know who you are anymore."

Brendan Fraser stood frozen in place, utterly speechless, "D-Dad…"

Bugs then knelt down and removed a revolver from the hands of one of the mutilated Communist corpses strewn at his feet. Without speaking, he placed the barrel of the gun in his mouth and wrapped his index finger around the trigger. He flicked away the tears flooding his soul and lowered his gaze.

Bug kept the barrel wedged between his teeth and spoke in a muffled, hoarse voice, "I hope you'll forgive me for this, son. This is the last time we're going to see each other. I hope what I'm about to do will help you see the error of your ways. All life is precious! I hope that you'll realize that like I have. All I ever wanted for you was to live your days in happiness. Please, honor my last wish and move on without me… live!"

Even after all of the atrocities he had committed, Bugs still couldn't bring himself to resent his son. He truly believed this was the only way to save him from his madness. Bugs Bunny made the biggest, cheesiest smile he possibly could as he clamped his gloved finger down on the trigger, "I love you, Brendan Fraser. That's all, folks."

The sound of a gunshot echoed throughout the night and was almost immediately drowned out by Fraser's bitter tears of grief. Bugs Bunny's mangled body collapsed to the sand, now just a lifeless as it was before.

Sonic the Hedgehog used his machine guns as a pair of makeshift crutches to stand. He kept his distance and watched silently as the Communist lamented his father's brutal death, almost pitying him. The American then turned back to Ice Cube's unmoving body, "I don't really get it, but you knew this would happen, didn't you? You knew Bugs Bunny would kill himself this whole time. That's why you let him take your life, right? Saving us all like that is pretty gay, but I respect you for it regardless."

"...He's really gone this time. If one of my ghost warriors takes their own life, I can't bring them back again. It's beyond my power. More than anything, I think I was always more afraid of losing my reason for living rather than not being able to see Bugs again. I've never actually lived a normal life before. I wouldn't even know where to begin. I guess I really am pathetic like you said, right?" Brendan laughed. However, the tears running down his face gave away his true feelings of sorrow.

The Communist-Hunter took a step closer and reached out his hand, "Stop it with the gay-ass water works, man. Just keep going no matter how bad it hurts. Actually live for once. I don't want to kill a fellow American no matter how shitty they are. If you renounce your loyalty to the Backstreet Boys now, I'll spare your life!"

Brendan Fraser chuckled and shook his head, "It's too late for me. Alimony's all I've got left. There's nothing for me out there in the real world. I now realize just how pointless it is trying to go up against something as immeasurably strong and powerful as fate. Who knows, maybe you'll be able to conquer your destiny? If anyone can change this shitty, fucked up world we live in, it's you. All I know is, I won't sully the honor of my friends by betraying them now. If you want me to stop, you'll just have to kill me in a duel."

"But that isn't what Bugs Bunny wanted! He died so that you could live! You'd just be wasting your life, you dumbass baka!" Sonic clenched his fists and shouted. Ignoring his words, Brendan bared his fangs and lunged at the unprepared hedgehog.

"Are you still spouting that weak bullshit after all of this? Don't dishonor me this way! If you won't fight me like a true American, then I'll force your hand. This will all end with one more attack! I'm going to die fighting for the glory of Communism!" Brendan Fraser roared.

Left with no other alternative, Sonic fired his gun dick at the ground to launch himself hundreds of feet into the air. The ZOG-hating hedgehog drew back his fist as he plummeted through the cloud cover, poised to strike.

"...FUCK!" A sickening snap could be heard as he mercilessly brought his fist down upon him, shattering Fraser's skull into 1,488 pieces. The Backstreet Boy then fell limply to the ground, dead.

"Everyone… I can't feel Brendan-chan's energy signature anymore! Surely, that can't mean that he's—?" Garfield asked in a hushed voice, but deep down he already knew the answer. His Communist brethren soon all lowered their heads and began grieving for their fallen comrade. Crazy Frog patted Steve Buscemi on the back and consoled him as he openly wailed, deeply regretting that he didn't stay to assist him before.

Larry the Cable Guy threw his bottle of Jack Daniel's to the ground and slammed his fist on the nearest table in a fit of rage. "L-Larry-san…" Garfield began to speak, but stopped himself mid-sentence. Never had he seen him display such intense emotion in all of the years that he had been acquainted with him.

After his brief outburst, Larry took a deep breath and returned to his trademark calm, serene demeanor. He narrowed his gaze and began to speak in a perfectly flat, monotone voice more befitting of his usual self, "It appears that we underestimated the threat posed by the American resistance after all. Brendan Fraser was a treasured part of this family, and he will be missed dearly. I can pardon many things, but I cannot forgive anyone who would seek to destroy this family of ours. Mark my words: I will find the Communist-Hunter, and I will BREAK him!"

"Horrible things happen, but were they horrible? No, they were just circumstances of the world. I guess darkness serves a purpose: to show us that there is redemption through chaos. I believe in that." - Brendan J. Fraser, 500 AD

This chapter is dedicated to the memory of Brendan Fraser, the tactical advisor of the Backstreet Boys and a veteran of the Space Jam War. May he find the peace in death that he never found in life.