The UK is implementing a points-based immigration system to select “the brightest and the best” people to let into the country for work, following the UKs exit from the European union.

First and foremost on this ‘points’ system will be the initial duel with Nigel Farage when arriving at Dover.

The Leader of the Brexit party will be stationed on a Dover beach, clad in medieval dueling armour, and immigrants must score at least six points in a trial by combat in order to enter the Country. This duel will not be to the death, as Farage has stressed that ‘we’re not mental’.

Immigrants will be able to choose from a variety of weapons, such as a short sword, mace, flail, and a halberd. Armour, however, will not be provided, and Farage suggests any European labourers looking for work should travel with their own set of chain mail.

Farage is confident in his abilities, and has prepared by doing a few push ups, practicing with some sticks against some kids, and re-watching Game of Thrones, a show he thoroughly enjoys due to the ‘predominantly white’ ensemble.

If Farage is bested in combat, then the final points must be accumulated through answering a series of riddles given by a hooded Dominic Cummings, winning a pub quiz about Only Fools and Horses, and finally beating Jacob Rees-Mogg in staging a lavish production of the musical Oliver!