'Titanic' award for undeserving Oscar winners

TITANIC19.jpg Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet in Paramount's Titanic 1997 ALSO Ran on: 09-24-2006 Remake &quo;Satan Met a Lady&quo;: remade as &quo;Maltese Falcon.&quo; Ran on: 02-20-2009 TITANIC19.jpg Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet in Paramount's Titanic 1997 ALSO Ran on: 09-24-2006 Remake &quo;Satan Met a Lady&quo;: remade as &quo;Maltese Falcon.&quo; Ran on: 02-20-2009 Photo: Paramount Pictures Photo: Paramount Pictures Image 1 of / 8 Caption Close 'Titanic' award for undeserving Oscar winners 1 / 8 Back to Gallery

These winners, all from the past 20 years, didn't deserve their Oscars. The award is named after the 1997 movie "Titanic," which won best picture in 1998 instead of "L.A. Confidential."

Best picture

"Titanic" (1997): We're still convinced that a 13-year-old girl somehow hacked into the Price Waterhouse computer. (If they even have a computer ...)

Runner-up: "Shakespeare in Love" (1998)

Best actor

Al Pacino in "Scent of a Woman" (1992): Pacino considered this award an affirmation of his overacting and has played the same character in every movie since. Hoo-wah!

Runner-up: Roberto Benigni in "Life Is Beautiful" (1997)

Best actress

Gwyneth Paltrow in "Shakespeare in Love" (1998): No one even remembers this movie, much less Paltrow's bland performance. Cate Blanchett should have won for "Elizabeth."

Runner-up: Julia Roberts in "Erin Brockovich" (2000); Helen Hunt in "As Good as It Gets" (1997)

Best supporting actress

Whoopi Goldberg in "Ghost" (1990): Why not just hand out an award to Jennifer Grey for "Dirty Dancing"? Or to Lori Petty for "Point Break"? At least Kathy Bates won for "Misery" in the same year.

Runner-ups: Anna Paquin in "The Piano" (1993)

Best animated film

"Happy Feet" (2006): This mediocre and gratuitously scary (what the hell was up with the leopard seal?) animated penguin movie had the good fortune to come out during an off year for Pixar, which released the so-so "Cars" in 2006.

Best song

"You'll Be in My Heart" from "Tarzan" (1999): I'm guessing that even Phil Collins would admit this song is horrible. More proof that the world is topsy-turvy: The superior Collins single "Against All Odds" lost in 1985 to Stevie Wonder's "I Just Called to Say I Love You" which is almost as bad as the "Tarzan" song.