We're well into the 12 Days of the War on Christmas now, where the lead-up to the most ubiquitous holiday in the history of human civilization is punctuated by fears that the same holiday is under attack. The greeting, "Happy Holidays" is not, you see, a small and voluntary gesture meant to welcome many faith traditions to the American experience, predicated on the idea this is a nation for anyone willing to honor the values of a free society. Instead, the phrase is a heat-seeking missile launched at the Yuletide, an insidious plot to erase Christmas from American life.

Luckily, we've recently learned that Donald Trump, American president has already won the War on Christmas. A group of people which definitely exists were trying to stop other people saying, "Merry Christmas," but Donald Trump stopped them from stopping people from saying it. In conclusion, we're saying Merry Christmas again, folks. Yet such is the power of a mass delusion fueled by simmering resentment that somehow, even though the War was won, the defenders of Christmas still feel it necessary to constantly discuss the War, and how there was definitely a real time where you couldn't say, "Merry Christmas" in America.

Just ask Eric and Lara Trump, two members of the extended First Family, who celebrated the victory while holding on to the requisite level of bitterness about the whole thing on Fox News.

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Jeanine Pirro: "[Trump family has] done wonderful things for this country. We now don't have the political correctness we used to. People are actually saying 'Merry Christmas'" pic.twitter.com/7cyZ4f2idx — Jason Campbell (@JasonSCampbell) December 15, 2019

This is honestly a fascinating cultural artifact and could, someday, be a tool for historians to try to grasp the currents of delusion and disinformation flowing through the American body politic in this troubled time. For at least a decade now, beginning with Bill O'Reilly before he was forced out amid a torrent of sexual misconduct allegations, The Fox News Channel has been promoting the notion that the radicals—read: Communists—of the secular left were determined to destroy the holiday celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ. Talk radio echoed the chorus. It was a hit for digital outlets as well, particularly in the Age of Obama, when many conservatives began to feel the country shifting beneath their feet.

It was a deeply symbolic battle to maintain the notion that the United States is a nation built by and for white Christian people—though the proponents prefer to say things like Judeo-Christian Values—and that everybody else should just be happy to be here. The attempt to include other traditions via "happy holidays," by decentralizing Christmas for even a second, was seen as just another attempt to undermine the centrality of Real Americans in a Christian Country. As usual, efforts to give more people a seat at the table were seen as efforts to remove the people already at the table, because as the saying goes, when you're used to privilege, equality feels like oppression. Not that our society was going to arrive at real equality by saying, "happy holidays" to each other anyway. It's really just a gesture—again, to make people feel welcome, at a time of year where we're meant to celebrate our common humanity through hospitality and generosity.

Bill O’Reilly fights the good fight. Fox News

It's hard to say whether Eric and Lara really believe there was a time in the near past where folks were attempting to outlaw Christmas trees or eating ice cream with your kids, or otherwise institute penalties for exhibiting Christmas Cheer. The holiday, as anyone with a grip on reality is aware, is alive and well. The default assumption should probably involve a healthy dose of cynicism at this point. For her part, the Fox News host they're speaking with, Jeanine Pirro, was suspended earlier this year for suggesting without evidence that Congresswoman Ilhan Omar, a practicing Muslim, held allegiance to Sharia Law over the Constitution. It's clear Pirro has no idea what Sharia actually is, but the subtext was also clear: Islam is incompatible with American values, and Muslims cannot be Real Americans. Do we think this viewpoint is connected to the Christmas meltdowns?

Regardless, these folks have learned intimately the power of resentment and paranoia. They have mastered the art of channeling that fear and rage about the changing world into streamlined ideology and political allegiance. It's way easier than offering people policy solutions that will materially improve their lives. It doesn't matter that Christmas is, like, the first holiday anyone thinks of when they hear, "happy holidays." The phrase is an attack on Christmas, because it does not solely honor Christmas. The offense this caused runs so deep that even in declaring victory, the Christmas Defenders must linger on the outrage of having had to wage the war at all. The nerve of those people.

Anyway, next up: Thanksgiving.

Jack Holmes Politics Editor Jack Holmes is the Politics Editor at Esquire, where he writes daily and edits the Politics Blog with Charles P Pierce.

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