Cruz dared Vice President Joe Biden to debate the cause of crime. Referring to Biden's statement in February — "If you want to protect yourself get a double barrel shotgun, you don't need an AR-15" — Cruz responded that would be "very useful if it so happens you're being attacked by a flock of geese." (OK, just to be jerky in exactly the same way Cruz is, a shotgun is a very powerful weapon. And not just when birds are involved! Here's a discussion on an AR-15 fan site message board: "Self defense against bears. Shotgun vs rifle?") Cruz also had a George Costanza-esque weeks-late comeback to California Sen. Dianne Feinstein, who said, "I am not a sixth-grader" when Cruz lectured her on the Bill of Rights. "Well, you know what? I'm not a sixth-grader, either." Zing.

Sarah Palin, as you might expect, was the sorest loser of them all. "We have a mainstream media that tore apart another president for using fleeting images of the 9/11 attacks in campaign ads" who claimed he was "exploiting tragedy for political gain," Palin said. And now? It's a "reliable poodle-skirted cheerleader for the president who writes the book on exploding tragedy." Yes, Aurora and Newtown were terrible tragedies. But, she said, "We could use a bit more emotion, by the way, about what goes on on the streets of cities like Chicago and New York!" (In 2012, there were 419 murders in New York City, which has a population of 8.2 million. The murder rate dropped again in the first quarter of 2013.) But Palin's big theme was that we are "letting freedom destroy itself." We must guard against forces against freedom, like New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg, who tried to limit soda sizes. Palin took a shot at this at CPAC, and on Friday, she said Bloomberg was trying take on tobacco in public places. She brandished a can of Copenhagen, but did not actually dip, perhaps because first-time dippers often barf. Freedom defended.

This article is from the archive of our partner The Wire.

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