♪ SCHOOL DAYS,SCHOOL DAYS ♪ ♪ TEACHER... MY LITTLE BROTHER'STRYING TO FOLLOW ME TO SCHOOL AGAIN. IKE, YOU CAN'T COMETO SCHOOL WITH ME ! YEAH, GO HOME,YOU LITTLE DILDO ! DUDE DON'T CALLMY BROTHER A DILDO ! WHAT'S A DILDO ? I DON'T KNOW. AND I'LL BET CARTMANDOESN'T KNOW EITHER. I KNOWWHAT IT MEANS ! WELL, WHAT ? I'M NOTTELLING YOU. WHAT'S A DILDOKENNY ? ( mumbling ) THAT'S WHAT KYLE'S LITTLEBROTHER IS ALRIGHT. DUDE, THATKICKS ASS ! YEAH, CHECKTHIS ONE OUT ! READY IKE,KICK THE BABY. DON'T KICKTHE BABY. KICK THE BABY. AHH... WHOA CARTMAN, LOOKS LIKE YOU DIDN'TGET MUCH SLEEP LAST NIGHT. THAT'S BECAUSE I WAS HAVINGTHESE BOGUS NIGHTMARES. REALLY,WHAT ABOUT ? WELL, I DREAMT THATI WAS LYING IN MY BED, IN THE DARK. WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN THIS BRIGHT BLUE LIGHTFILLED THE ROOM. AND SLOWLY MY BEDROOMDOOR BEGAN TO OPEN. AND THEN THE NEXT THINGI REMEMBER, I WAS BEING DRAGGEDTHROUGH A HALLWAY. THEN I WAS LYINGON A TABLE, AND THESE SCARY ALIENSWANTED TO OPERATE ON ME. AND THEY HAD BIG HEADSAND BIG BLACK EYES. DUDE,VISITORS ! TOTALLY ! WHAT ? THAT WASN'TA DREAM CARTMAN, THOSE WEREVISITORS ! NO, IT WASJUST A DREAM, MY MOM SAID SO. VISITORSARE REAL. THEY ABDUCT PEOPLEAND THEY MUTILATE COWS. SHUT UP YOU GUYS, YOU'RE JUST TRYINGTO MAKE ME SCARED. AND IT'S NOT WORKING. HELLO THERECHILDREN. HEY CHEF. HEY CHEF. WHAT'S GONNA BE FORLUNCH TODAY CHEF ? TODAY IT'SSALISBURY STEAKWITH BUTTERED NOODLES. AND A CHOICE OFGREEN BEAN CASSEROLE OR VEGETABLEMEDLEY. KICK ASS. DID ANYOF YOU CHILDREN SEE THE ALIEN SPACESHIPLAST NIGHT ? YEAH, FAT BOYSAW IT. NO, THAT WASJUST A DREAM. AND I'M NOT FATI'M BIG BONED ! WAS IT THE ONESWITH THE BIG LONG HEADS AND THE BLACKEYES ? OH ! THEY TOOK HIMON THEIR SHIP. OH, DID THEY GIVE YOUAN ANAL PROBE ? WHAT'S ANANAL PROBE ? THAT'S WHEN THEY PUTTHIS BIG METAL HOOP-A-JOOP UP YOUR BUTT. WHOA, THEY GAVE YOUAN ANAL PROBE CARTMAN ? NO, I MEAN...WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT ? DUDE THEY DID, HUH ? ALIENS STUCKSTUFF UP YOUR ASS ! NO ! ANAL PROBE. SHUT UP DILDO ! WELL, I GOT TOGET TO THE CAFETERIA. YOU CHILDREN WATCHTHAT FAT BOY NOW, HE CAN BE UNDERALIEN CONTROL. WE TOLD YOU THEYWERE REAL, CARTMAN. SORRY TO HEARABOUT YOUR ASS. GODAMMIT, THEY DIDN'TDO ANYTHING TO MY ASS ! IT WAS JUSTA DREAM ! WHY YOU WALKINGSO FUNNY CARTMAN ? SHUT UP ! NO IKE, GO HOME. THIS IS IT, THIS ONE'SFOR THE GAME. KICK THE BABY.

AHH ! I SURE AM HUNGRY. HOW CAN YOU EAT WHENYOU'RE FARTING FIRE ? SHUT UP DUDE, YOU'REBEING TOTALLY IMMATURE. HEY LOOK, THERE'SWENDY TESTABERGER. WHERE ? ( romantic music ) ♪ STAN WANTS TO KISS,WENDY TESTABERGER ♪ SHUT UP FAT ASS,I DON'T EVEN LIKE HER ! I'M NOT FAT ANDYOU OBVIOUSLY LIKE HER BECAUSE YOU THROW UPEVERY TIME SHE TALKS TO YOU. I DO NOT. HI, GUYS. HI, WENDY. HI, WENDY. HERE STAN,THIS IS FOR YOU. EWW ! BYE,WENDY. WENDY. DUDE, WHAT DOESTHE NOTE SAY ? HOLY CRAP, IT SAYS SHE WANTS TOMEET ME AT STARK'S POND AFTER SCHOOL. WHOA, MAYBEYOU CAN KISS HER. OR SLIP HER THE TONGUE. ( mumbling ) WHAT, HOW DO YOUKNOW SHE HAS A CAT ? COME ON YOU GUYS, WE NEED TO FIGURE OUTHOW TO GET OUT OF SCHOOL SO WE CAN GET MYLITTLE BROTHER BACK. HELLO THERECHILDREN. HEY CHEF. HOW AREYOU DOING ? BAD. WHY BAD ? CHEF, HAVE YOU EVER HADSOMETHING HAPPEN TO YOU BUT NOBODYBELIEVED YOU ? OH CHILDREN,CHILDREN. THAT'S A PROBLEMWE'VE ALL HAD TO FACE AT SOME TIMEOR ANOTHER. HERE, LET ME SINGYOU A LITTLE SONG. IT MIGHTCLEAR THINGS UP. ♪ I'M GONNA MAKE LOVETO YOU WOMAN ♪ ♪ GONNA LAY YOU DOWNBY THE FIRE ♪ ♪ AND CARESS YOURWOMANLY BODY ♪ ♪ MAKE YOU MOANAND PERSPIRE ♪ ♪ GONNA GET THOSEJUICES FLOWING ♪ ♪ WE'RE MAKINGLOVE, BABY ♪ ♪ LOVE BABY,LOVE, LOVE, BABY... ♪ CHEF ! HUH ?! DO YOU FEEL BETTER ? NO. OH CHILDREN,WHAT CAN BE SO BAD ? IT'S SALISBURYSTEAK DAY. VISITORS TOOKKYLE'S BABY BROTHER. WHAT ?! WHAT THE HELL DO YOUTHINK YOU'RE DOING IN SCHOOL EATINGSALISBURY STEAK ? GO FIND HIM,DAMMIT ! MR. GARRISON WON'TLET US OUT OF SCHOOL. HE THINKS WE'REMAKING IT UP. YOU AREMAKING IT UP ! WHOA. WHAT ? THAT WAS COOL. IT'S SOME KIND OFSYMBIONIC METAMORPHOSE DEVICE. THIS CAN MEAN THE VISITORSWANT TO COMMUNICATE WITH US. OH I SEE. NOW YOU'RE GONNA JOIN INON THE LITTLE JOKE. IT'S NO JOKE CHILDREN,THIS IS BIG. PLEASE CHEF, IF I DON'TGET OUT OF SCHOOL AND GET MY BROTHER BACKFROM THE ALIENS, MY PARENTS AREGONNA DISOWN ME. HOLD ON,HOLD ON NOW. YOU GOT TOHELP THE CHILDREN. HEY, YOU GUYS SUREARE GOING A LONG WAY TO TRY ANDSCARE ME. I WANT MYSALISBURY STEAK. FIRE DRILL,FIRE DRILL ! EVERYBODY OUT ! OKAY CHILDREN,THIS IS YOUR CHANCE. KILLER,THANKS CHEF. MAN, OH MAN. FIRST CONTACT WITHTHE ALIEN VISITORS ! I'VE GOT TOGET MYSELF READY.

DON'T BE SUCH AFRAIDY CAT CARTMAN. THIS ROPEWILL MAKE SURE THEY CAN'T TAKE YOUON BOARD AGAIN. MAN, THIS SUCKS ! HOW COME THE VISITORSAREN'T COMING FOR HIM ? I THINK WE HAVETO SIGNAL THEM SOMEHOW. OWW ! HEY, HE'SLIKERUDOLPH. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO ISFART SOME MORE CARTMAN AND THE VISITORSARE SURE TO COME. REALLY ?! I DON'T THINK I HAVETO FART ANYMORE TONIGHT. SURE YOU DO. COME ONCARTMAN, FART ! I DON'T WANNA ! HE CAN'T HOLDIT IN FOREVER. FART, DAMN YOU ! OKAY, THATDOES IT ! NOW LISTEN, WHY IS IT THATEVERYTHING TODAY HAS INVOLVED THINGSEITHER GOING IN OR COMING OUTOF MY ASS ?! I'M SICK OF IT ! IT'S COMPLETELYIMMATURE ! HEY, IT'SHAPPENING AGAIN. WHOA, LOOK AT THAT. NOW DO YOUBELIEVE US CARTMAN ? YOU GUYSCAN'T SCARE ME. I KNOW YOU'REMAKING IT ALL UP. THERE'S AN 80 FOOTSATELLITE DISH STICKING OUTOF YOUR ASS ! SURE YOU GUYS,WHATEVER. OH BOY, THE ALIENS ARE GOINGTO MAKE FIRST CONTACT. HEY, DOWN HERE ! WE ARE READYFOR YOUR WISDOM. AND YOU ONLYGOT 20 MINUTES BEFORE"SANFORD AND SON"IS ON ! YOU GUYS,I AM SERIOUSLY GETTING PISSEDOFF RIGHT NOW. I KNOW THERE'S NO SUCHTHING AS ALIENS ! GODAMMIT ! I TELL YOU, THERE'S CRAZY STUFFGOING ON IN THIS TOWN. YOU CAN SAY THATAGAIN MR. GARRISON. COME DOWN HEREYOU STINKING ALIENS ! UH, UH... GO ON KYLE, ASK THEM FOR YOURLITTLE BROTHER BACK. VISITORS, THIS MORNING YOUTOOK MY BROTHER IKE. HE'S THE LITTLEFRECKLED KID THAT LOOKS LIKEA FOOTBALL. AT FIRST I WAS HAPPYYOU TOOK HIM AWAY. BUT I'VE LEARNEDSOMETHING TODAY. THAT HAVINGA LITTLE BROTHER IS A PRETTYSPECIAL THING. HECK MR. VISITORS, I'M JUST A KID ALL ALONEIN THIS CRAZY WORLD. BUT IF YOU CAN FIND ITIN YOUR HEARTS OR WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO GIVE MY BROTHERBACK TO ME, IT SURE WOULD MAKEMY LIFE BRIGHTER AGAIN. THAT WASBEAUTIFUL DUDE. DID IT WORK ? NOPE, THEY'RELEAVING. HEY YOU SCRAWNYASSED %$#@!... WHAT THE %$& ISWRONG WITH YOU ? YOU MUST BESOME KIND OF &%$#@ TO BE ABLE TO IGNOREA CRYING CHILD ! WHOA, DUDE ! YOU KNOW WHATYOU &%$#@ LIKE ? YOU LIKE TO%$#@&$... ( beeped out ) HEY WENDY,WHAT'S A &%$#@ ?

SIT DOWN, WE'RERUNNING LATE ! DAMMIT,HE'S STILL THERE. DON'T WORRYABOUT HIM. NO DUDE, IF SOMETHINGHAPPENS TO HIM, MY PARENTS AREGONNA BLAME ME. SIT DOWNBACK THERE ! AHH ! YEAH WHATEVER,YOU FAT BITCH. WHAT DIDYOU SAY ?! I SAID I HAVEA BAD ITCH. OH ! OH MY GOD ! VISITORS. ( mumbling ) IKE ! STOP THE BUS ! MISS CRABTREE, YOU HAVETO STOP THIS BUS ! DO YOU WANT ANOFFICE REFERRAL ? NO. THEN SIT DOWN ! BUT I... AHH ! AH ! AHH ! AH ! CARTMAN, ARE THOSETHE SAME VISITORS YOU SAW ? SHUT UP YOU GUYS,IT'S NOT WORKING. WE HAVE TODO SOMETHING. WE CAN'T DOANYTHING FOR NOW THAT FAT BITCHWON'T LET US. WHAT DID YOU SAY ? I SAID THATRABBITS EAT LETTUCE. WELL YES,THEY CERTAINLY DO. WHAT AM IGONNA DO ? MY LITTLE BROTHER HASBEEN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS. ( farting ) YOU FARTED. SOMEBODY ISBAKING BROWNIES.

AT THIS RATE, ALL MY CATTLE ARE GONNA DIEBEFORE THE WINTER'S THROUGH. THIS IS NOTHINGOUT OF THE UNUSUAL. COWS TURN THEMSELVESINSIDE OUT ALL THE TIME. PEOPLE BEEN SAYING THEY'VE BEEN SEEINGUFO'S AROUND. UFO'S ? YEAH, AND BLACK ARMYCIA HELICOPTERS AND TRUCKS. THAT'S THE SILLIESTTHING I'VE EVER HEARD. WHAT WAS THAT ? THAT WASA PIGEON. WHAT AM ISUPPOSED TO DO ? JUST STAND HEREAND WATCH MY COWS GET MUTILATEDONE BY ONE ? ( whistling ) HEY, MY CATTLE ! YOU SEE ? THERE IS SOMETHINGFUNNY GOING ON. THERE'S NOTHINGFUNNY GOING ON. I'LL GETTHOSE COWS BACK.

OUR FRIEND MR. HATIS GOING TO TELL US ABOUT CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS. THAT'S RIGHTMR. GARRISON, CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUSDISCOVERED AMERICA, AND WAS THE INDIAN'SBEST FRIEND. HE HELPED THE INDIANSWIN THEIR WAR AGAINST FREDERICK DOUGLAS, AND FREED THE HEBREWSFROM NAPOLEON. AND DISCOVERED FRANCE. I CAN'TJUST SIT HERE. I HAVE TO HELPMY STUPID BROTHER. I'LL COME HOMEWITHOUT HIM AND MY DAD WILLSTART YELLING. "WHERE'S YOURBROTHER, KYLE !?" "YOU WEREN'T LOOKING OUT FORYOUR LITTLE BROTHER, KYLE." OKAY, LET'S DITCHSCHOOL AND GO FIND HIM. "YOU KNOW HE CAN'T THINKON HIS OWN, KYLE." "BRUSH AND FLOSS, KYLE." "WHERE HAS THATFINGER BEEN, KYLE ?" DUDE ! IS THERE APROBLEM BOYS ? YES MR. GARRISON,I HAVE TO GO NOW. OH REALLY, KYLE. WHAT IS IT THIS TIME,ANOTHER PROSTATE TUMOR ? NO, MY LITTLE BROTHER'SBEEN ABDUCTED BY ALIENS. IT'S TRUE,ASK CARTMAN. THEY GAVE HIMAN ANAL PROBE. THAT'S ALITTLE JOKE. MR. GARRISON,SERIOUSLY, I HAVE TO GO. CAN I PLEASE BEEXCUSED FROM CLASS ? I DON'T KNOW KYLE,DID YOU ASK MR. HAT ? I DON'T WANTTO ASK MR. HAT. I'M ASKING YOU ! I THINK YOU SHOULDASK MR. HAT. MR. HAT, MAY I PLEASEBE EXCUSED FROM CLASS ? WELL KYLE, NO ! YOU HEAR ME ?YOU GO TO HELL ! YOU GO TO HELLAND YOU DIE ! I GUESS YOU'LL HAVE TOTAKE YOUR SEAT. DAMMIT ! HA, HA, MR. HATYELLED AT YOU. OW, MY ASS ! DAMN CARTMAN. OW, MY ASS ! DUDE, HE'SFARTING FIRE. IT'S THE ALIENANAL PROBE ! IT'S SHOOTING FIRE FROMCARTMAN'S RECTUM ! THAT WAS JUSTA DREAM. ERIC, DO YOU NEED TOSIT IN THE CORNER UNTIL YOUR FLAMINGGAS IS UNDER CONTROL ? NO MR. GARRISON,I'M FINE. OWW !

HEY, YOU COWS CAN'TGET ON THIS TRAIN. THIS IS APEOPLE TRAIN. YOU COWS HAVE NO BUSINESSON A PEOPLE TRAIN, ALRIGHT ? 'CAUSE YOU'RE COWS. NO, NO, NO. DON'T TRY ANY OF THAT COWHYPNOSIS ON ME, ALRIGHT ? 'CAUSE IT'SNOT GONNA WORK. HOLD IT RIGHTTHERE COWS. COME BACK HERE !

♪ NO MORESCHOOL TODAY ♪ ♪ WE GOT OUTOF SCHOOL... ♪ OH, YOU GUYS MY ASS,SERIOUSLY !! OKAY CARTMAN YOU CAN STOPFARTING FIRE NOW. I WOULD IF I COULDYOU SON-OF-A-BITCH ! SO HOW DO WE GETMY LITTLE BROTHER BACK ? WOULD YOU STOP GOING ONABOUT YOUR LITTLE BROTHER ?! I KNOW IT WASJUST A DREAM ! I KNOW I DIDN'THAVE AN ANAL PROBE ! AND I KNOW THAT I'MNOT UNDER ALIEN CONTROL ! ♪ I LOVE TO SINGA ♪ ABOUT THE MOONAAND THE JUNA AND THE SPRINGA ♪ ♪ I LOVE TO SINGA ♪ ABOUT A SKY OF BLUEOR TEA FOR TWO...♪ WHAT THE HELLWASTHAT ?! HEIS UNDERALIEN CONTROL. THAT THINGIN HIS BUTT IS LINKED UP TOTHE VISITORS ! SON-OF-A-BITCH !

YOU GUYS SHUT UP, I'M NOT UNDERALIEN CONTROL ! HEY, IF YOU VISITORSCAN HEAR ME, BRING ME BACKMY LITTLE BROTHER, GODAMMIT ! THAT HURTSYOU BUTT LICKER ! KYLE LOOK,IT'S THEM. GIVE ME BACKMY BROTHER ! OH MY GOD,THEY KILLED KENNY ! YOU BASTARDS,COME BACK HERE ! COME BACK ! DAMMIT, WEWERE SO CLOSE ! HEY LOOK, I THINKKENNY'S OKAY. ( mumbling ) OH ! ( sirens ) WOW, POOR KENNY. NOW DO YOUBELIEVE USCARTMAN ? NO. CARTMAN, THEYKILLED KENNY ! HE'S NOT DEAD. DUDE, KENNYIS DEAD. SEE ? SHUT UPYOU GUYS. HE'S DEADCARTMAN ! GODAMMIT, I DIDN'THAVE AN ANAL PROBE ! SCREW YOU GUYS,I'M GOING HOME ! GO ON AND GO HOMEYOU FAT CHICKEN ! DILDO ! YOU'RE ALLI HAVE LEFT, STAN. SORRY DUDE, I GOTTAGO MEET WENDY. YOU CAN'T. POOR IKE MUSTBE SO SCARED. UP THEREALL ALONE. YOU GOTTAHELP ME DUDE. DUDE, LIKECHEF SAYS, I GOTTA GETA PIECE OF LOVING WHILE THEGETTING'S HOT. RATS !

HI MOM. HOW ARE YOUDOING ? WELL, I'MPISSED OFF HERE, I MADE YOU POWDEREDDONUT PANCAKE SURPRISE. I DON'T WANT POWDEREDDONUT PANCAKE SURPRISE ! ALL THE KIDS IN SCHOOLCALL ME FAT. YOU'RE NOT FAT,YOU'RE BIG BONED. THAT'S WHAT I SAID. YOU CAN HAVE ANEENSY-WEENSY BIT,CAN'T YOU ? NO ! JUST AWEENSY-EENSYWOO-WOO ? NO, LEAVE MEALONE MOM ! HOW ABOUT A NICE CHOCOLATECHICKEN POT PIE THEN ? WELL, THAT SOUNDSPRETTY GOOD. MOM ? YES HON ? IF ANYBODY CALLSOR COMES OVER, I'M NOT HERE, OKAY ? SURE, HON. YOU WANT SOMECHEESY POOFS TOO ? YEAH, I WANTCHEESY POOFS.

WELL, LOOKS LIKESHE'S NOT GONNASHOW UP STAN. LET'S GO LOOK FORTHE VISITORS NOW. BUT HER NOTE SAIDSHE'D BE HERE. HI, STAN. EW. YOU CAN'T TALKTO STAN, WENDY, HE THROWS UPWHEN YOU DO. BUT WHY STAN ? EW. COULD YOU GUYSJUST GET DOWNTO BUSINESS SO WE CAN FINDMY LITTLE BROTHER ? HUH ? JUST MAKE SWEET LOVEDOWN BY THE FIRE. WHAT HAPPENED TOYOUR LITTLE BROTHER ? As the reports ofUFO sightings increase, more mysterious crop circlepatters are appearing in fields all aroundSouth Park. These crop circleswhen viewed from above, form strange patterns. HEY, THAT KIND OFLOOKS LIKE, TOM SELLECK. Could it be thataliens are trying to make contact with us,here on earth ? MEOW. NO KITTY, THISISMY POT PIE ! MEOW. NO, BAD KITTY. NO KITTY, THISIS MY POT PIE ! MOM, KITTY'SBEING A DILDO ! WELL THEN I KNOWA CERTAIN KITTY KITTY WHO'S SLEEPINGWITH MOMMY TONIGHT. WHAT ?! AND NOW I HAVE TO GOHOME WITHOUT HIM AND MY PARENTS AREGONNA HAVE ME KILLED ! WHY DIDN'T YOU GOGET THE FAT KID ? WHY ? IF THE FAT KID HAS SOMETHINGIMPLANTED IN HIS ASS, MAYBE THE VISITORSARE USING HIM AS PART OFTHEIR PLAN. YOU SHOULD USETHE FAT KID AS BAIT TO BRING THEM BACK. HEY, YOU'RERIGHT WENDY. COME ON STAN, WE HAVETO GO GET CARTMAN. COME ON STAN. EW ! HEY WAIT. WHEN DO I GET TOMAKE SWEET LOVE ? MEOW. NO KITTY, YOUCAN'T HAVE ANY ! MEOW. NO KITTY, THISIS MY POT PIE ! BAD KITTY. EXCUSE ME KITTY. ERIC, LOOKWHO'S HERE. GOOD GRIEF MOM ! COME ON, WE'RE GONNAPLAY AT THE BUS STOP. I CAN'T,MY MOM SAYS... THAT'S OKAY ERIC, I THINK YOUNEED TO SPEND TIME WITH YOURLITTLE FRIENDS. + I'M GOING DOWNTO SOUTH PARK +want to spend time... DON'T BEDIFFICULT ERIC ! NOW YOU GO OUT ANDPLAY IN THE FUN SNOW. GODAMMIT !

IKE, JUMP DOWN, NOW ! FOR THE LOVEOF GOD IKE, JUMP ! DON'T HURT ME... ( mooing ) MOO. COME ON IKE, I PROMISE I'LL BE NICETO YOU FROM NOW ON. DON'T KICKTHE BABY. WHAT THE HELL ARETHEY TALKING ABOUT ? IKE ! IKE ! DO YOUR IMPERSONATION OFDAVID CARUSO'S CAREER. IT'S MY TURN. YOU GUYS GET MEDOWN FROM HERE. HELP ! HELP... ! DILDO !! I'M SURE GLADTHAT'S OVER WITH. YEAH, BOY, AM IGLAD TO SEE YOU IKE. FLY IN THE SKY. WAIT ! WHERE ARE YOU GOINGALIEN VISITORS ? COME BACK ! WELL CHEF, WHERE'STHIS AMAZING THING YOU WERE GONNASHOW US ? WELL, IT'S INTHE BEDROOM, LADIES. COME ON IN. COME ON IKE, WE CAN MAKE IT INTIME FOR DINNER. THANKS FOR YOURHELP WENDY. WHATEVER DUDE. HEY, I DIDN'TTHROW UP ! COOL. ( romantic music ) EW ! SORRY. HEY LOOK,A FRENCH FRY. COOL. AND WHAT IS THAT ? I THINK IT'S PARTOF A CHEESY POOF. HEY, WHAT'S THAT ? THAT'S A HAMBURGER. THAT'S FROM LIKETWO DAYS AGO. HEY, WHATABOUT THAT ? I DON'T KNOW WHATTHE HELL THAT IS !