He was born a girl. But he didn’t feel like one. He insisted he was a boy and his parents listened. They cut his long hair, redecorated his pink-themed bedroom and switched to male pronouns.

Ryland Whittington is only 6 years old but his story has touched millions since his California family posted a video on YouTube just over three weeks ago. It explains, in simple and poignant terms, what it means to be transgender. And it celebrates Ryland’s new life.

He’s one of the lucky ones, accepted and supported by a loving family and hopefully, the wider community. In Canada, a similar story emerged last year when a young Edmonton child, Wren Kauffman, made the transition from daughter to son.

The profile of trans people has been further raised by Laverne Cox, star of the hit TV series Orange Is The New Black, who recently graced the cover of Time in a first for the magazine.

But social awareness and understanding still evades many whose gender identity doesn’t match the body they were born with.

“The general public just doesn’t get it,” says Christin Milloy, a 30-year-old trans woman in Toronto.

“I’m not a guy in a dress.”

While Milloy’s parents have accepted her gender identity, her brother, from whom she’s now estranged, hasn’t. He wanted her to wear a suit and tie to his university graduation, so his friends wouldn’t see him as “the guy who had a ‘tranny’ for a sister.”

Unlike Ryland, neither she, nor her parents could pinpoint why she was unhappy as a boy, she recalls.

When she was born, “the doctor held me up and saw a penis and decided I was a boy. I was forced to fit into a male identity that wasn’t right for me. It never occurred to me or any of us that I might be a girl, because we didn’t have that awareness.”

She didn’t finally identify as a trans woman until age 23, a process she calls “liberating.”

A writer and human rights activist who makes her living as a web developer, Milloy believes discrimination was behind her firing from her previous job. She says she’s also been threatened and called names, and subjected to many “uncomfortable conversations.”

“People often focus on the physical aspects of a trans person or make assumptions about my experience or think they’re entitled to ask personal stuff,” says Milloy, who’s blogged about the “top 19 questions” people ask.

For example, she’s been queried, inappropriately, about whether she’s had hormone treatment or surgery. It’s nobody’s business, and, in any case, being trans is about the person, not their body parts, she explains.

Still, public awareness and acceptance is growing, adds Milloy, a volunteer organizer for the June 27 Trans March through downtown Toronto, an event she calls a first for WorldPride.

While “transgender is the new identity” that people are talking more about, “we have a long way to go,” says Dr. Joey Bonifacio. “Raising a child in an environment with a lot of transphobia is difficult.”

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Bonifacio is head of the Transgender Youth Clinic, which opened last fall at The Hospital for Sick Children, to fill a gap in health care services. Among the services offered are hormone blockers that delay puberty while transgender adolescents sort out their gender identity.

Bonifacio, a pediatrician with a particular interest in gender identity and sexual orientation, worries about youth who don’t feel safe or comfortable at home and may end up on the street. He points to a recent Ontario study of transgender 16- to 24-year-olds that found 42 per cent had non-supportive parents. Of those, a “staggering” 57 per cent had attempted suicide, he notes.

“Family support is really crucial.”

For Morgan Baskin, transitioning doesn’t change the essence of who a person is.

“Just because someone changed pronouns, gender identity or name doesn’t make them a different person,” says the Toronto student, 19.

In addition to her parents, she has two “trans gay dads,” close family friends she’s known since childhood.

“Sometimes people are incredibly insensitive, because they haven’t done their research,” she says, blaming the media for spreading misinformation.

Baskin, a mayoral candidate in this fall’s election, cites current Mayor Rob Ford for his “despicable and disrespectful” views on all things Pride.

Terms and Truths

The terms “trans” and “transgender” are still mired in myths and misconceptions.

Here are a few home truths:

Trans is not a one-size-fits-all identity. There are several variations on the gender spectrum, including male, female and non-binary (outside or in-between male and female).

Trans people can be gay, straight, lesbian, bisexual or asexual.

Being trans is about more than anatomy; it involves the everyday aspects of life and important issues such as school, jobs and career.

Every person’s transition is different, and may or may not involve hormone treatment and sex-reassignment surgery.

Drag queens and cross-dressers are not the same thing as trans people.