THE House of Lords has shocked Britain by being full of senile old bastards who are not backing Brexit.

The Lords, who are wealthy, completely out of touch with the modern world and convinced of their own brilliance, have inexplicably defied the government on Brexit even though they are Brexit’s exact demographic.

Politics writer Carolyn Ryan said: “The very idea that an 80-year-old man who’s been given everything on a plate his whole life wouldn’t be a Brexit voter has turned our world upside down.

“What happened to ignorance? What happened to blithely assuming since it’s alright for you, it must be fine for everyone else? Where is their doddering, nostalgic jingoism?

“Instead they’re voting for amendment after amendment as if they’re rational political actors, not septuagenarians determined to restore the 1950s because there was nothing wrong with golliwogs.

“Unsurprisingly the government’s talking abolition. What choice do they have?”

Lord Kinder of Ditchling said: “‘Brexit’. One of these new-fangled words, like ‘scampi’ or ‘microchip’. No thank you.”