My santa sent me a lovely selection of snacks from the USA. Thank you! But it provoked questions...

Why are so many snacks made to look like animals? Why should I want to eat smiling fish or bears? And more importantly, which would win in a fight?

So I pulled out a few random snacks from each package with animals on it. The chocolate goldfish, despite being more frequently disabled, seemed quite happy for the job. Meanwhile, the honey teddy grahams had varied opinions and only one was deafened with the absence of ears. As a referee, I pulled out some sour patch kids candies, expecting them to look like the gummy bears on the box. But no, they are semi-humanoid forms in the same way that a pile of goo tends to look humanoid. ...so gelatinous bystanders yes but no referee.

So they were all ready to go! However, a sudden furry monster stormed the arena, like the dinosaurs from Jurassic Park. The giant black thing sniffed each contender as they cowered, holding perfectly still. And once it reach the final group of honey teddy grahams, his senses were peaked and they didn't stand a chance. A few heart-wrenching seconds later, one poor little teddy graham was in pieces, having been viciously chewed apart then spit back out. Apparently they weren't as tasty as the monster expected. The teddy grahams, piled on each other in disarray like a scene from a war zone, seemed to take on a depressed expression. Meanwhile, the goldfish continued to smile, pleased that they were spared. And the semi-humanoid forms remained unphased.

So here's the thought provoking questions: The chocolate goldfish proudly proclaim they are made with whole grains and contain no artificial preservatives. Does that mean they are healthy? And does chocolate taste good in cracker form?