Women's March Protesters Follow Leaders Right Off Ledge Into Potomac River

WASHINGTON, D.C.—The planned Women’s March in Washington ground to a halt Saturday as leaders of the left-wing, pro-abortion event marched straight through the capital and then right off a steep ravine into the freezing Potomac River, leading the rest of the group to do the same, sources confirmed.

Onlookers tried to warn marchers of the danger of following their radical left leaders into the dangerously icy waters, but were told they were “mansplaining” and “oppressing women.”

“They just kept plunking right off the side like lemmings,” one witness said. “I tried to block them from splashing in but a woman pushed me away and screamed, ‘My body, my choice!’ at the top of her lungs.”

“It was crazy, like they would just do anything their leaders said,” he added.

At publishing time, the marching women had been rescued and set back on their course, only to have their leaders careen off into a ditch adjacent to a Planned Parenthood abortion clinic.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. Get FREE Access *with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee