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Andrea Irwin thought she would feel vindicated.

After a year and a half of seeking justice through a lawsuit against the Madison police officer who shot and killed her son, she agreed late last month to a settlement with the city’s insurance provider for $3.35 million, the largest in state history for an officer-involved death.

She thought the size of the settlement might convince others that Officer Matt Kenny shouldn’t have shot her 19-year-old son, Tony Robinson, during an encounter at an eastside apartment in 2015. She hoped it would quiet those who said her son deserved to die. It hasn’t.

“Some foolish part of me thought that the people who’ve been attacking us and attacking my son for the last two years would be able to see that they were wrong, but [it’s been] the opposite,” says the 39-year-old. “People hate me because my son was killed. They hate me because we sued the city. They hate me because the city settled.”

She doesn’t understand why others can’t see her side.

“No insurance company is going to give out the money just because,” she says. “They’re not going to pay the highest settlement in the history of the state just because they didn’t want to waste the time [going to trial].”

The city’s insurance provider, the Wisconsin Municipal Mutual Insurance Company (WMMIC), did not respond to multiple requests from Isthmus for an interview. Eric Veum, the city’s risk manager and also the current chairman of WMMIC’s board of directors, and other board members, also did not respond to requests for comment.

With the lawsuit over, Irwin now faces an uncertain future. She has some ideas for how to use the money to honor her son. But otherwise, she feels lost and still unable to grieve for him.

“The pain is so powerful,” she says. “I’m afraid of being consumed by it.”

Irwin filed the lawsuit in August 2015 after Kenny had been exonerated by both Dane County District Attorney Ismael Ozanne and the police department . Kenny — who remains on the force — has not spoken to media since the shooting.

Irwin believed the lawsuit was her “only chance to get some form of accountability.” It alleged that Kenny violated her son’s civil rights by taking his life.

Kenny had responded to calls on March 6, 2015 about a young man who was jumping in and out of traffic on Williamson Street and assaulting people. The officer entered 1125 Williamson St. looking for Robinson. Moments later, he shot Robinson, who was unarmed, seven times. Kenny told investigators that Robinson punched him in the head at the top of the stairwell and continued to swing at him.

Irwin’s attorneys, however, argue that forensic evidence and dashcam video directly contradict what Kenny says happened that night. They believe Robinson had tripped and was falling down the stairs when he was first shot. Although the federal judge dismissed Madison as a defendant in the case, the lawsuit against Kenny was expected to go to trial in late February.

But, earlier that month, Irwin’s attorneys got a call from WMMIC lawyers, who were also representing Kenny. Irwin says the insurers first offered $1.5 million to settle. “We turned that down. And then they made another offer of $1.75 million and we turned that down,” recalls Irwin. The offers grew over the next two days, eventually reaching the agreed upon amount of $3.35 million.

Agreeing to settle was difficult, says Irwin. “We were ready for trial [and] I always thought it was going to be something I could handle but after my [pre-trial] deposition, I was breaking. My attorneys said I would have to sit through 40 hours of autopsy photos and pictures and things I’d never seen before and didn’t want to see, and listen to the audio of my son dying…. I decided I can’t do this,” she says of deciding to take the offer . “I’m not going to put myself in a position to have an emotional breakdown — it’s too much. I couldn’t take anymore.”

Irwin also considered another possibility: “We could’ve won and then [the WMMIC lawyers] could have appealed it and kept us in appeals for years and years.”

After the settlement, Robinson’s attorneys publicly presented the evidence they say disproves Kenny’s account of the altercation and released the information on a website . This led to more grief for Irwin.

“The settlement wasn’t going to be closure [and] I knew that. All I ever wanted was for the truth to get out,” says Irwin of releasing the information. “People can think what they want to think but I don’t give a damn about the money — all this was about was accountability.”

Irwin is also furious at how city officials have reacted to the settlement, pointing to statements made by both Mayor Paul Soglin and Madison Police Chief Mike Koval that stressed WMMIC acted alone in settling the lawsuit.

“The city and the police department have weaseled their way out of any accountability whatsoever,” says Irwin. She contrasts that with the response to WMMIC settling a similar lawsuit in 2015 for $2.3 million brought by the family of Paul Heenan . Heenan was killed by Madison police officer Stephen Heimsness in November 2012. Heimsness later resigned.

“When the Heenans settled, the city and police weren’t jumping out there [in the media] making sure [everyone knew] it wasn’t their choice to settle,” says Irwin. “Why is it with the Heenans it was settled and done? But with us, it wasn’t [the city] that settled, it was the insurance company?”

Mayor Soglin declined to discuss his statement about the settlement. Through police department spokesman Joel DeSpain, Koval responded only that “he was not the chief when [the Heenan] shooting took place and was not involved with the internal investigation.”

After news broke that Irwin had accepted the settlement offer, she began getting calls from people she hadn’t heard from in years asking her for money. “I went through all this alone, so don’t come to me now,” she says to those with their hands out. “This is blood money, my son died for this. I have not won the lottery.”

While she hasn’t received the money yet, Irwin does have a few plans. “My kids will have a chance at life and be taken care of and go to college because that’s what Tony would have wanted,” says Irwin, who has three other children.

She also wants to start a nonprofit support center in Madison for grieving families and friends.

“A place for parents who have lost a child and also a place for the family and friends of people who are trying to support someone that’s going through that because the ripple effect is massive. People who are trying to be a support system should also have a support system.”

Another thing Irwin is contemplating is an escape. She’s considered moving out of Madison, perhaps to another part of the state or farther away.

“I’m not sure I want to leave,” she says. “And I’m not sure I can stay either.”