I’m 40! I turned in September and as a woman, I’ve never felt more comfortable in my skin. It’s almost as if I woke up one day with the ability to tell the world to go suck it ’cause this girl right here doesn’t give a shit about what you think anymore. FREEDOM!

Along with my new found freedom I’ve become more straightforward with others and wow does this feel amazing. I’ve always been a bit brutally honest, but there were some things I would shy away from – mainly confrontation with those within an arms reach. Well, this woman is cleaning house and it’s more freeing than I could have possibly imagined.

For some of you this may not seem like an “ah ha” moment, but I’m an adult child of two alcoholics and it’s been an incredibly long road to recovery. Now, finally, I am free from the biggest load of their bullshit. I still have residue and I may have it forever, but that’s ok because it makes me, me.

I work on little things everyday like my inability to completely trust and my uncanny ability to only see the world in black and white – there is never a grey area. Believe it or not that grey area is more useful than you might imagine.

So while I continue to feel out my new skin I’m going to reflect back and take a look at my 40 year old wisdom – here goes:

You only get one bite at this apple so don’t sacrifice any of it for someone else, especially your children. This sounds awful right? Well what my divorce taught me is that this is my experience too; I never want to teach my child that misery is ok – you don’t like it then change it! You are in control of your destiny so strap yourself in and drive the damn car.

Love, romance, butterflies in the stomach is a big fat lie. The truth of the matter love is really hard and if it’s going to last you need to: want it, work on it everyday, be totally invested, laugh with each other often, remain an individual, fight for what you need and never settle for “meh s/he’s nice”. Nice doesn’t make you laugh so hard you snort and nice doesn’t give you the kind of O that results in a charlie horse.

Quit your bitchin’ life is hard and everyone is going through their own shit alongside you.

Have compassion for others. Always. No excuses. You never know when life with be handing you a poo poo platter and you’ll need someone to reach down to help.

Don’t ever let anyone treat you like a carpet. Draw your line in the sand and commit to yourself that no one is allowed to treat you like garbage – you are worth more.

Try hard to be positive ’cause we are all energy and that shit comes back – good or bad. Besides, no one wants to be around a negative nancy.

Don’t lie. It’s stupid and makes you look ugly. Bleh.

I’m sure there are more, but for fear of sounding like some inspirational jerk-off giving advice to the youngsters I’ll stop here.

Peace out brothers and sisters.