Sorry to tell you, but size does matter.

I like most things in my life big. I love nothing more than a giant cup of tea, oversize sweaters, and big personalities. But I've never been into huge penises.

When I started hooking up with guys, I found that many of them cared way more about their penis size than I did. Unless it was something that needed to be in a textbook or compelled me to call their doctor, I didn't think much of it. I've been with penises of all shapes, sizes, and colors and — call me crazy — I've been more interested in what else is going on with the human I am writhing on top of than how he stacks up to a ballpark frank.

I was scared of sexual intercourse early on (I'd been assaulted, on top of that), so I was mercifully spared by losing my virginity to a man with what could be called a micro-penis. It was great sex, which is better than I can say for most of my friends' first times. In fact, it was like wading into the water slowly. I don't feel like I missed out on anything at all.

Not every experience was so great. And that's because I have since learned (through some painful sex and subsequent ob-gyn visits) that I have what my doctor playfully calls a "cute cervix." Which basically means that it would be harder for me to take a giant dick on, if we're frank.

Sex should never be painful, unless you and your partner are into that. This is 2016 and there are plenty of things around to make sex between any two consenting people satisfying. But people can be like puzzle pieces: some things just fit together more easily.

People love to gossip about penis size. Men constantly exit-interview me, expecting the size of their genitals would be the first thing I'd rave about after sex. I'm a sucker for getting brunch with girlfriends, and hearing about the people they've been with and the weird or sexy things they did. But we rarely talk about it when it actually hurts. Not to mention, some men with large penises are blissfully unaware (due to centuries of reinforcement) that their big dicks don't always make them good in bed. Saying something hurts can be a difficult thing to do. You're sitting there feeling like you have a javelin scraping your pelvis. Should you say something, suck it up, or fake an orgasm just to get it over with?

To be fair, there are probably times I should have just spoken up when sex was painful. It would have been fine because I'm generally only sexually attracted to nice people, but I was a lot younger and a lot less informed than I am now. But there is still a part of me that, in the heat of the moment, when a guy is dirty talking me or makes mention to how well-endowed he is, I get nervous. Like, how big is it that you feel you need to bring it up? Is this a warning?

Hence my preference for smaller penises. It's just easier on me and my cute cervix to be with a guy without a footlong dong.

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Kristin Salaky Kristin is a freelance writer and social media editor.

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