The Establishment website recently published an article by Ijeoma Oluo in response to Amy Schumer’s response to being labeled as “plus-sized” in an issue of Glamour (whether that label was implied or intentional on Glamour’s part isn’t discussed in this post). Ijeoma’s article bothered me a lot, so I’d like to respond and hopefully contribute (meaningfully) to an emotional and complicated topic.

First, I should address the elephant in the room. I’m not a woman, specifically I’m not a woman who is considered plus-sized. In this post I won’t try to tell women how to process their feelings about the plus-size topic, because I’m speaking from a privileged position: I’m a man, and I’m not currently considered “overweight” as defined by the American Medical Association, so I can’t know what women feel when they read Amy Schumer’s comments or live in bodies of all sizes, and I need to acknowledge that first and foremost. As a person with a mind and feelings however, I do have a reaction to this article and I don’t think my thoughts are irrelevant despite being a man. SO, rather than dismiss someone’s lived-in opinion in favor of my outsider perspective, I’d like to ask some questions so I can understand better, because right now I disagree with Ijeoma’s article. These aren’t rhetorical questions! Please all women (and Ijeoma if you can spare the time), let me know your thoughts! This is not an attempted mic-drop or a social media rant.

The thoughts below were taken partially from my comment on The Establishment’s Facebook post for this article (Their website doesn’t allow comments, for understandable reasons I won’t go into here).

I don’t like the idea that “real” fat people somehow hold a moral high ground over Schumer because she isn’t a larger size, as though there’s a minimum weight requirement in order to feel oppressed or shamed about one’s body type. Compared to celebrities and cover models, a size 6–8 (Schumer’s size) is plus-sized, and I know women of all sizes who feel that pain. My questions are:

Does the pain of women larger than Schumer trump the pain of someone Schumer’s size? And if so, who holds the keys to whose pain is more legitimate? It’s easy to weigh a body, but how do you weigh/rank one person’s pain versus another’s? That seems like a dangerously high horse to be riding, but educate me if I’m wrong. At what weight or dress size is someone’s pain legitimate? If we frame it around race for a sec, is someone of mixed race less entitled to the fear or frustration of racism than someone with darker skin? Do I need to be a few shades darker or a few pounds heavier before I can be considered a member of the “real” oppressed people? If so, why is that? Why is Schumer’s status as a large woman reduced to a yes/no binary, and why is it all or nothing? She doesn’t meet the size criteria, so the only other choice is Skinny White Rich Girl? Why does it go from “She’s one of us” … to “She’s an exploitive outsider?” To me, that feels like quite a leap. Would you mind explaining your thoughts and reasoning there? The Plus-Size label itself: I can’t speak for Schumer, but it seems like she was rejecting the label because millions of American women are a size 6–8 like her (though maybe not in LA), and she doesn’t want young girls to think a size 6–8 is bad. Ijeoma addresses the fact that being called “plus-sized” isn’t an insult, and I agree with that statement in a perfect world, but from what I’ve seen growing up in a house raised by my mother and sister, as well as learning from several women I’ve loved and dated, it’s absolutely an insult to be labeled plus-sized. Soon enough, that label could be reclaimed, but right now it seems idealistic (or worse, maybe even delusional) to say the “plus-size” moniker doesn’t hold any oppressive power (after all, this whole chain of events started because of that label). Do you think “plus-sized” should be removed from language used around clothing? Same with “petite?” Why or why not?

Thanks to anyone who took the time to read this little post. I hope to learn things here by cracking open the topic. I’ve been hugely benefited and inspired by content from Your Fat Friend in the past, so if you have an opinion on this, I’d be grateful and honored to have you share your thoughts, YFF.

There are fewer things more painful than presenting an argument you feel is very strong, only to have it shattered by someone with a perspective you didn’t consider. Luckily, there are fewer things more meaningful and rewarding than that same scenario. I’m ready to listen and be shattered, have at me.

Update Apr 14: removed references to specific dress sizes not mentioned in the original article, and added “overweight” clarification according to the American Medical Association.