The last time they performed together, it was a disaster. Would it end differently now?

From flying slacks to shouts of shame: Janet and Justin’s Super Bowl 2018 imagined

After the notorious ‘wardrobe malfunction’ of 2004’s Super Bowl half-time show, Janet Jackson’s career was decimated, while Justin Timberlake walked off whistling. With the latter recently confirmed for 2018’s ceremony, how might a possible reunion between the pop idols work?

Justin Timberlake to star at Super Bowl 14 years after 'wardrobe malfunction' Read more

1 Whoops now

In a scenario that strives for equality, Janet performs a Bucks Fizz-style trews-removal move on Timberlake, whose slacks fly across the stadium by drone while his penis and scrotum billow in the breeze.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Scenario one ... Justin’s trousers strafed. Illustration: Bill McConkey

2 Again

As a social experiment, Justin and Janet recreate the 2004 performance move for move, to test how far media standards have progressed. To be repeated every 14 years.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Scenario two ... Justin’s double-take. Illustration: Bill McConkey

3 That’s the way it goes, love

Timberlake stands motionless in a foam nipple outfit while Houston’s NRG Stadium boos and chants “shame”.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Scenario three ... Justin titillates. Illustration: Bill McConkey

4 It doesn’t really matter

Chris Martin, inevitably, takes the role of on-stage couples’ counsellor, encouraging both parties to work through their trust issues. Featuring an unexplained appearance by Wiz Khalifa.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Scenario four ... Justin’s rep at stake. Illustration: Bill McConkey

5 Miss me much?

Justin introduces – it couldn’t be! It might be! IT IS! – his special guest, Janet Jackson. But the platform rising from below the stage is totally empty, and we all learn a very important lesson about loyalty.