My name is David and I am a male escort. Contrary to conventional wisdom, I am not in dire economic need, I did not suffer from childhood sexual abuse, I am neither being brutally coerced by pimps nor do I suffer from the vast power difference of either sex or race – I am a college educated, upper-middle class Caucasian man. I am not high, I am not troubled and I am not escaping trauma. I am no one’s victim.

Being an escort is my chosen profession. I do what I do because, frankly, I’m good at it, I enjoy my work, and I believe that my colleagues and I provide an important service to our clients. Human sex and sexuality are complicated issue for many men and women. I, and others like me, can offer help to our clients by creating a non-judgmental and intimate space where those clients can express themselves without fear of judgment or rejection.

But because I’m a man, few people have ever assumed that my choice to engage in sex work was anything other than a choice – that is, until the US government rounded up the staff at Rentboy.com, claiming that they were an “internet brothel” exploiting poor, stupid sex workers like me.

Rentboy was hardly “prostituting” me: not only did they offer community and peer-to-peer support to sex workers, but they offered us practical assistance through workshops on, for example, how to secure health care and how to file taxes. In August, they even launched a scholarship program for young men who were escorting in order to pay for school loans and other debts incurred in the pursuit of higher-education.

Though Rentboy and the escorts who, like me, advertised on it had operated in full view of law enforcement for years (and despite high-profile cases like the murder of John Conway and the outing of anti-gay advocate George Rekers), it wasn’t until the site took definitive actions that could actively improve the financial situations of people like me that the government chose to act.



That is also a situation that women in sex work have faced time and again: the government decided what was best for them (as though women can’t decide that for themselves) and acted accordingly. Now, I face the possibility that, like many women, I will be rounded up and jailed. The safety net of peer support that Rentboy offered is now gone, and any organization seeking to take its place could also face charges.

What’s actually best for me, and many other sex workers, is not the threat of jail. It is, rather, government recognition that we have agency in our own lives and occupations, and engagement with us in a dialogue around how we can safely decriminalize prostitution. It can begin by both sides of the sex work debate answering this simple question: why does the state’s interest in consensual sex work trump my right to privacy?

A movement is already afoot to start just that conversation. Last month, delegates from Amnesty International voted to support a policy that calls for decriminalization of the sex trade – including prostitution, payment for sex, and brothel ownership. After two years of research and consultation with its members, Amnesty concluded that decriminalization is the best way to reduce risks for sex workers. The organization contends that criminalizing sex work exposes male and female sex workers to arbitrary arrest and detention, extortion and harassment, and physical and sexual violence – and that those results are far more dangerous and harmful than simply engaging in commercial sex work.

Many people seem to believe that no one of sound mind would choose to engage in sex work: if we’re not trafficked through violence or coercion, our choices are deemed less valid because of economic coercion or because of stereotypes about our sexual or traumatic pasts.But just because you can’t imagine why we might choose this work doesn’t mean we aren’t making rational choices for ourselves.

And rather than making us criminals – and criminalizing and eliminating the support systems that improve our safety and security – if the goal is to end sexual trafficking, then decriminalizing the work of Rentboy, as well as men and women like me, will free-up law enforcement resources to prosecute real traffickers and protect real victims.

As a grown man, capable of making thoughtful decisions about my own life, I should not be placed at risk of jail for choosing to be an escort. Nor should the men and women at Rentboy.com now risk jail and penalty because they sought to support me and my work. It’s long past time for government to engage sex workers and their supporters in an adult conversation about decriminalizing sex work, rather than an activist conversation about prostitution without us.