In Moscow, someone got up early to make the donuts, and U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry is very happy about that. The big story in the Western media apparently is not the meeting between Kerry and Vladimir Putin at the Kremlin, but rather, the euphoria that Kerry experienced after spotting a Dunkin’ Donuts in the center of scary ol’ Moscow.

There’s so much that’s perfect about this tweet, posted by Mark Knoller of CBS News. In less than 140 characters, he managed to capture the inherent Russophobia of the U.S. political establishment.

First, there’s the “novelty” of spotting a well-known Western franchise in the center of Moscow. Despite the fact that Russia has more than its fair share of Western franchises and brands — and has had them for more than 20 years — there’s still the stereotype of grey, bleak Moscow of the Soviet era with empty store shelves. So imagine the euphoria of finding a place with real American donuts!

Second, there’s the Cyrillic spelling of “Dunkin’ Donuts” in the photo — this reaffirms most people’s view of the Russian language as just being a sad copy of the Latin alphabet, with a bunch of upside down and backwards letters.

Third, there’s the bizarre cultural contradiction of exporting “coffee and donuts” to Moscow — a city that’s known for tea, blinchiki (pancakes) and other Russian sweets. It’s the whole idea that the West must rescue the poor, emerging markets of the world who are wrapped in blissful ignorance of all the modern achievements of a capitalist society. Like donuts.

Fourth, Dunkin’ Donuts. Think about it. Why not Starbucks? Because those would be too upscale and perhaps impart too much sophistication to Russia. Dunkin’ Donuts is perfect — a bit lowbrow, nothing too fancy. The photo of John Kerry in his Ivy League finest — a wonderful woolen topcoat and powder blue Brooks Brothers scarf — is just so precious. Get it? He’s slumming it in Russia!

Fifth, there’s the suggestion that John Kerry “recognizes a Dunkin’ Donuts logo in Russian” — but not because he’s studied any Russian language mind you. If you’re an American, well, why bother studying a foreign language when the rest of the world speaks “American”! Again, the tweet is so perfect. The Russians finally figured out how to spell Dunkin’ Donuts! And even if they didn’t, American culture is so ubiquitous that it really doesn’t matter.

Meanwhile, in other news, the Kremlin’s “propaganda channel” (Channel One) played up another, less important aspect of Kerry’s visit to Russia — his meeting with Vladimir Putin at the Kremlin. Somehow, that news got lost in the euphoria over a few donuts.