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Could Stormzy have saved Labour Live? The grime star was top of the organisers’ wishlist for the woefully undersold Labour Live festival this weekend, but we are told that Jeremy Corbyn’s team balked at his “six-figure” fee and decided against blowing the budget on the multiple-award winning star.

In retrospect, Stormzy’s fee — understood to be around £100,000 to headline — would have saved the event, which has been ridiculed because of poor ticket sales and a push by central command for MPs to do more to publicise it. “If they paid him they’d be turning people away instead of losing ten times the amount he asked for,” a senior Labour figure told us this morning. In his place the headline act are cheery folk band The Magic Numbers.

The event at White Hart Lane has struggled to fill seats prompting fears the Labour Party will have to cover costs. Only 3,000 tickets have reportedly sold, 1,000 were bought in bulk by the Unite union to distribute among its members for free. John McDonnell, Corbyn and columnist Owen Jones are obviously not a sufficient draw.

The New Statesman reports that the event has been a victim of internal fights at the top of the Labour Party. Originally the event was meant to thank activists who helped overturn the Government’s majority in the 2017 General Election. Squabbling over whether it was a waste of money and resources meant Labour Live went ahead but without any money to book big acts.

Stormzy, who is a Corbyn fan, offered what is considered a discount to perform. “To be fair to him, 100k is probably mates’ rates,” the source says.Labour insiders had originally said that the rapper could not make the event because of a scheduling conflict. Stormzy’s management were asked for a comment this morning. His schedule currently appears to be free.

Jurassic John - eons behind Today

John Humphrys asked Rupert Everett on the Today programme this morning whether he “regretted” coming out as gay and then wondered whether in an interview “it won’t even be mentioned that you happen to be gay?” John Nicholson, ex-SNP MP, wrote: “This morning would have been a good time to start.” Humphrys’ tin-eared questioning left listeners aghast, one fumed “total dinosaur” with another eye-rolling “Humprhys excelling on the crassometer”, but a BBC spokesman said: “It was not inappropriate to draw parallels.”

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What happened to Rasputin’s penis after the lover of the Russian queen was murdered? Colourist Marina Amaral claims it now resides in St Petersburg’s Museum of Erotica. Historian Simon Sebag Montefiore says this is a hoax. “In necrohistory I always find posthumously lost heads — like the story of Cromwell’s — more fascinating than lost penises. Don’t you?”

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Britain no longer needs to feel bad about burning down the White House in 1814: Donald Trump incorrectly blamed the Canadians. Kim Darroch, our Ambassador to the US, applauded the pardon at the British Embassy residence over the weekend, “because it turns out we weren’t the ones who burned down the White House”.

Cuba's the man for a crisis after a blue blazer clash at GQ's Fashion Week bash

Designer Joshua Kane and singer Charli XCX committed a fashion faux pas at Annabel’s last night: they both turned up to GQ Style and Browns’ party in uncannily similar blue blazers.

But who wore it better? Kane opted for a double-breasted full suit, while the Girls singer appeared to have forgotten her trousers, fashioning the blue jacket like a mini-dress.

Actor Cuba Gooding Jnr came along despite his busy schedule: he’s been in the West End production of Chicago, starring as Billy Flynn.

The Oscar-winning actor got into a spot of trouble recently after telling BBC Breakfast that he “cried like a little b****” after landing the role.

Model Jack Guinness and singer Vanessa White were also present, as was Eric Underwood, the former ballet star-turned- fashion designer.

The occasion, on Berkeley Square, was held in honour of Men’s Fashion Week in London.

SW1A

Where is Cronus, the pet tarantula owned by Gavin Williamson? The spider’s short-lived move from Williamson’s desk in the Whip’s office to the Ministry of Defence prompted some to ask if he was alive. BuzzFeed’s Emily Ashton has reassuring news. “Department sources confirmed that Cronus was sent back to Williamson’s family home in Staffordshire after an arachnophobic official down the corridor was terrified to come into work.”

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Ed Miliband was accosted by rowdy cricket fans on the bus. Spotting the former Labour leader in their midst, the crowd broke into a “bacon sarnie” chant. Ed was with his two sons, Samuel and Daniel. “I managed to close it down in front of my children,” he recalls on his podcast Reasons to be Cheerful. “But then there was a chant about Jeremy Corbyn that didn’t seem very friendly, so we shut that down. Eventually we got to the station.” Hell yeah, he’s tough enough.

Quote of the day

‘There is a special place in heaven for Justin Trudeau’

European Council President Donald Tusk pays the Canadian PM a compliment after Donald Trump adviser Peter Navarro said that he belongs in hell

Kiln's hot reception

KILBURN’S Tricycle Theatre is changing its name to The Kiln after an extensive (and expensive?) consultation process which, they say, involved “audience members, staff, our young company, our board and many members of our communities”. Local MP Tulip Siddiq has received complaints. “The theatre is a gem in our constituency,” she says. “People have written to me about their dismay and I have made representations accordingly and will continue to do so.” Artistic director Indhu Rubasingham has said that the rebrand reflects a kiln as “a space of transformation, heat, energy and forging”.

Yana Peel, Serpentine Galleries CEO, and Bodil Blain, founder of Cru Kafe, took part in the Lady Garden run in Hyde Park on Saturday in aid of the Silent No More Gynaecologicial Cancer Fund, raising over £75,000.