Devout Christians are up in arms this morning about Darren Aronofsky’s film Noah, despite the fact that the majority of them haven’t seen it. They’re upset because, in the words of one person on Twitter:

“Noah” was directed by an #Atheist and was purposely made secular… Just letting you all know… http://t.co/bzF12sY6l9 — JEFF!! (@IAmKingParks) March 28, 2014

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Aronofsky’s script deviates from the biblical account, and many on Twitter are happy to point the curious to the “real” story:

The #NoahMovie is not based on the Bible. Read about the real #Noah. (Genesis 6:5-9:17) — JerimeyeRN (@KingsRep) March 28, 2014

Many churches have encouraged their congregants to retweet the following, line breaks be damned!

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The Noah Movie is a FRAUD, BLASPHEMOUS and NOT BIBLICAL! BOYCOTT the NOAH MOVIE! BOYCOTT @NoahMovie #Noah #NoahMovie #BoycottNoahMovie . — NoKing But KingJesus (@NoKingButJesus) March 28, 2014

But just in case it was raining too hard Sunday morning for them to make it to actual church, they can ask their backup pastor:

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#Noah is about worshiping the creation not the creator Will not waste my money @foxandfriends @kilmeade — Lock&Load (@Iron_Woman2) March 28, 2014

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And they don’t disappoint:

Watch the latest video at video.foxnews.com

Kevin McCarthy informs Brian Kilmeade of Fox News viewers’ worst nightmare: “the movie is not a documentary,” meaning the fact checkers will be out in full-force:

FUN FACT about the movie #Noah which is false – the movie claims that Noah's Father died when he was younger – READ: Genesis 5:30-31 — Rae-Lynn (@RaeLynnZiegler) March 28, 2014

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Not that some people out there aren’t happy with the creative license Aronofsky exercised:

.@russellcrowe good luck with that new movie of yours. I've heard it's even better than the book ;) — Ricky Gervais (@rickygervais) March 27, 2014

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But the professional comedians aren’t the only ones weighing in on the alterations to the biblical original. Conservative film critic Debbie Schlussel — who has actually seen the film — wrote that the film should be called “‘Game of Thrones Noah,’ ‘The Noah-dashians,’ ‘Dysfunctional Family Noah.’ Or just plain, ‘NOT Noah.'”

Erick Erickson at Red State surveyed all of the deviations from scripture, declared “boy howdy!” and then proceeded to remind his readers that he “is not kidding” eleven times.

We are not kidding.

Breitbart editor Ben Shapiro objected, repeatedly, to the film’s depiction of humanity as the planet’s designated caretaker, and one of his followers agreed, pointing Twitter-followers the biblical verses in their original English:

@benshapiro People cannot watch a liar's movie and know God's word. Laziness will be rewarded with hardship, READ the NASB version (or NKJ). — Turner (@TurnerEchols) March 28, 2014

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Which isn’t to say all of the responses to the film have consisted of ignorant trolling. Ever the self-promoter, Lars Von Trier used the occasion of the film’s release to remind people that he’s got one coming out too:

… And then Hermione uses the time traveling spell and everyone is saved. That's how #Noah ends, now go and watch #NymphomaniacVL2 — Lars Von Trier (@LVon_Trier) March 28, 2014

[“Russell Crowe” on Shutterstock]