It's adorable that Lord Quirky is so worried about the city turning into a ghost town this week that he's releasing a thousand free car spaces and begging punters to penetrate the puckered Ring of Steel. After all, it would be terribly embarrassing were some G20 delegate from Mexico or China to think they've landed in some pissant backwater; although given the number of neobrutalist dictators jetting in over the next few days, the massive and overwhelming security presence on the increasingly empty streets may well feel just like home.

"Oh look, Vladimir, sonic cannons! How thoughtful of Abbott the convict barbarian."

Lord Mayor Graham Quirk is encouraging people to visit Brisbane's heart during the G20 leaders' summit. Credit:Michelle Smith

"Pah! Vladimir prefer real cannon for controlling of crowds. Where is this Abbott now? I have taken shirt off for wrestling match in iron cage and all I see is stupid noise-making cannon."

The Lord Mayor is probably going to have to get used to those empty streets. The whole idea of "showcasing" the city isn't much of an idea when so much of the city heart is going to be locked down. And that lockdown will soon be severe enough that most people who don't have good reason to hazard their chances with the security apparatus probably won't bother. It's nice, really, that there's a whole cultural program running in tandem with whatever agenda the PM sets to avoid talking about climate change, and it's good that a lot of that program is nowhere near the leaders' summit, but seriously, who's going to venture into South Bank for events like The Lion King when you have run the gauntlet to see them? Come for the theatre, stay for the body cavity search.