By Michael Katz | August 29, 2013 9:51 am

Previewing the NFL season is tricky business. Google search is easy. So For The Win is using Google Autocomplete suggestions to give you the lowdown on your team’s quarterback, as well as signal callers across the league.

What can we learn from these Google scouting reports? Well, something I hope.

Real Analysis: The 10 worst current NFL QB situations



AFC East

Buffalo Bills

Yes, Buffalo. Jeff Tuel is starting. Tonight. Forever. In your heart.

Miami Dolphins

Not well versed? Read a book, Ryan Tannehill!

New York Jets

Shocking lack of buttfumble.

New England Patriots

3 Super Bowls, 2 MVPs, zero chance of Boston fans forgiving him for wearing a stupid hat like one time.

AFC North

Cincinnati Bengals

Andy Dalton might be the NFL’s top rookie, but NEVER forget he’s first and foremost a soulless redhead.

Cleveland Browns

Accurate Brandon Weeden scouting report: Old. So old. Terrible.

Baltimore Ravens

Basically perfect. The conversation around Joe Flacco’s career, distilled to its purest form.

Pittsburgh Steelers

Ben Reothlisberger sure is a fat jerk, but boy is he better at football than you’re giving him credit for.

AFC South

Indianapolis Colts

If Andrew Luck is an ugly, overrated bust — what does that make RG3?

Jacksonville Jaguars



When Google autocompletes “is” to “issues” … you’ve got issues.

Houston Texans

Some QBs are merely injury prone, but Matt Schaub is never not inside of an actual hospital.

Tennessee Titans

Titans fans: “Where is Jake Locker from and how fast can we send him back there?” (cc: UPS)

AFC West

Denver Broncos

I pressed enter. Now I know this exists: peytonmanningisahottie.tumblr.com

San Diego Chargers

Philip Rivers is not well liked.

Kansas City Chiefs

Alex Smith is terrible. Or good. Or … a museum?

Oakland Raiders

Your Oakland Raiders for 2013 and forever!

NFC East

Dallas Cowboys

…

Philadelphia Eagles

…

New York Giants

Eli Manning is THE SLING BLADE OF QUARTERBACKS. Get this search cross stitched on Etsy, Giants fans.

Washington Redskins

Hm: The populace is checking out his leanings, his first lady … RG3 in 2036!

NFC North

Chicago Bears

Did you mean “Smoking Jay Cutler is a cat?“

Detroit Lions

Matthew Stafford is, in fact, a man. Yes. Sure.

Green Bay Packers

Aaron Rodgers is arrogant, but with good reason or possibly not.

Minnesota Vikings

Christian Ponder may or may not be good at football, but there is one thing we can all agree on.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers

The question of whether Josh Freeman is overrated or underrated is just, like, your opinion, man.

NFC South

Atlanta Falcons

That Matt Ryan SportsCenter commercial must’ve been a load of laughs.

Carolina Panthers

Cam Newton’s got issues. To start, he’s a Falcons fan.

New Orleans Saints

People don’t like Drew Brees?

NFC West

San Francisco 49ers

Might I suggest: Colin Kaepernick is good at football, and allowed to have tattoos if he wants.

Arizona Cardinals

Quitters never win, Carson Palmer. They wind up on the Raiders and Cardinals.

St. Louis Rams

Sam Bradford is overexposed.

Seattle Seahawks

Is. He just is, man. Russell Wilson is.

You know what? We all are, really.