Nigger Jokes/

Black Jokes/

Racist Jokes

What's the difference between dog shit and niggers?

When dog shit gets old it turns White and quits stinking.

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What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?

A pizza doesn't scream in the oven.

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What's the difference between a nigger and a snow tire?

A snow tire doesn't sing when you put chains on it.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black?

Niggers.

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Why don't sharks eat niggers?

They think it's whale shit.

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What do you call a nigger in a tree with a briefcase?

Branch manager.

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How come there aren't any Mexicans on Star Trek?

They don't work in the future, either.

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Why do niggers cry during sex?

The Mace.

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How do you stop a nigger from drowning?

Take your foot off the back of his head.

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How do you get a nigger out of a tree?

Cut the rope.

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What did the Alabama sheriff call the nigger who had been shot 15 times?

Worst case of suicide he had ever seen.

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What do you get when you cross a retard with a gang banger?

Someone who spray paints on a chain link fence.

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Why do niggers stink?

So blind people can hate them too.

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What do you get when you cross a nigger and a spic?

Someone too lazy to steal.

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Why don't niggers take aspirin?

They refuse to pick the cotton out.

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What do nigger kids get for Christmas?

Your bike.

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What's a niggers idea of foreplay?

"Don't scream or I'll cut you, bitch."

Why do spics drive low-riders?

So they can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time.

What do you get when you cross a jew and a gypsy?

A chain of empty retail stores.

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Why don't nigger kids play in the sandbox?

Cats keep covering them up.

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What do you call an apartment full of niggers?

A COON-dominium.

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Why are there no nigger astronauts?

Their lips explode at 50,000 feet.

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How do you babysit a niglet?

Wet his lips and stick him to the wall.

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How do you get him down?

Teach him to say "Motherfucker."

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How else do you babysit a niglet?

Put Velcro on the ceiling and tell him to jump.

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How do you get him down?

Invite the spics over, blindfold them and tell them it's a piñata party.

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Why do jews have big noses?

Air is free.

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What is a nigger on a bike?

Thief.

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What's long and black and smells like shit?

The welfare line.

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What do you call 50 niggers at the bottom of the ocean?

Good start.

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What is the worst 3 years of a niggers life?

First grade.

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How was break dancing invented?

Niggers trying to steal hubcaps from moving cars.

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Why do niggers keep chickens in their back yards?

To teach their kids how to walk.

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How do you know Adam and Eve were not black?

You ever try to take a rib from a nigger?

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What is a nigger?

Proof that skunks fuck monkeys.

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead nigger in the road?

The dead dog has skid marks in front of it.

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What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk?

"I set WHO free?"

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Why are chimps always frowning?

They know in a million years they are going to turn into niggers.

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Why is interrogating a Mexican like a pool ball?

The harder you hit it the more English you get.

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How many jews can you fit in a VolksWagon?

All of them if you put them in the ashtray.

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A nigger and a spic jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?

Who cares.

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A nigger and a spic jump off the Empire State Building, who hits the ground first?

The spic, because the nigger had to stop on the way down and spray paint "motherfucker" on the wall.

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Why don't spics have barbeques?

The beans keep falling through the grill.

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You hear about the new car made in Israel?

Not only can it stop on a dime, it will go back and pick it up.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a pickle on his head?

A quarter-pounder.

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How many Ethiopians can you fit in a phone booth?

All of them.

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How do you start a foot race in Ethiopia?

Roll a doughnut down the street.

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How many niggers does it take to pave a driveway?

One if you spread him real thin.

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How do you blindfold a chink?

Dental floss.

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How do chinks name their kids?

They throw silverware down the stairs.

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What's the difference between a nigger and a bag of shit?



The bag.<

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What's the most confusing day in Harlem?

Father's Day.

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When does a Black man turn into a nigger?

As soon as he leaves the room.

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What do you call a nigger with a Harvard education?

Nigger.

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What do you call a nigger in a courtroom in a 3 piece suit?

The defendant.

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There is a nigger and a spic in a car, who's driving?

The cop.

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Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling?

He doesn't know he's black.

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How long does it take a nigger bitch to take a shit?

9 months.

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Why don't nigger women wear panties to picnics?

To keep the flies off the chicken.

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Why does Alabama have niggers and California have earthquakes?

California got first pick.

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Why do Mexican cars have those little steering wheels?

So they can drive handcuffed. Why are niggers like sperm?

Only one in a million actually work.

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What do you call Mike Tyson with no arms?

Niger nigger nigger.

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How do you fit 100 Cubans in a shoe box?

Tell them its a raft.

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Why do police dogs lick their ass?

To get the taste of nigger out of their mouth.

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What can a pizza do that a nigger can't?

Feed a family of four.

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Why did the nigger carry a piece of shit in his wallet?

I.D.

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What is red green yellow orange purple and pink?

A nigger dressed for church.

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Why do niggers have flat noses?

That's where god put his feet when he was pulling off their tails.

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Did you hear that the KKK bought the movie rights to Roots?

They're going to play it backwards so it has a happy ending.

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What is the difference between a white owl and a black owl?

A white owl goes, "Who, who," a black owl goes, "Who dat? Who dat?"

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Did you hear about the new Black Barbie?

It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check.

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What is black, white, and rolls off the end of the pier?

A nigger and a seagull fighting over a chicken wing.

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What do you get when you cross a nigger with a gorilla?

A dumb gorilla.

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What is the difference between Batman and a black man?

Batman can go out at night without Robin.

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Did you hear about the new Chap Stick for niggers?

It comes in a spray can.

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What's the difference between niggers and pit-bulls?

It's still legal to own a pit-bull.

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What do you say to a black man in uniform?

"I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke."

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Why do niggers walk the way they do?

Because they spent the first nine months of their lives dodging a coat hanger.

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What happened when the Ethiopian fell in the crocodile pit?

He ate six crocs before they could pull him out.

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Why do niggers call white people "honkies"?

That's the last sound they hear before the white people run them over.

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How do you stop a nigger from going out?

Pour more gas on him.

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Did you hear about the nigger with insomnia?

He kept waking up twice a week.

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What do you do if you run over a nigger?

Reverse.

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Why do decent white folks shop at nigger yard sales?

To get all their stuff back.

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Who were the three most famous women in black history?

Aunt Jemima, Diana Ross, and Mother Fucker!

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Hear about the new bumper sticker that says "Run, Jesse, Run"?

You put it on the front of your car.

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What do Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles have in common?

They're both niggers.

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How come Stevie Wonder & Ray Charles can't read?

They're both niggers.

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Why do niggers wear wide-brimmed hats?

So pigeons can't shit on their lips.

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Why did so many nigger soldiers get killed in Vietnam?

Every time someone yelled "Get down!" the niggers would jump up and start dancing.

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What do you get when you cross a nigger with a Vietnamese?

Nothing. There are some things even a Vietnamese won't do.

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What's black and tan and looks good on a nigger?

A Doberman Pinscher.

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What's the fastest animal in the world?

The Ethiopian chicken.

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Did you hear about Evel Knieval's new motorcycle stunt?

He's going to ride through Ethiopia with a sandwich tied to his back.

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Did you hear about Ku Klux Knieval?

He tried to jump 50 niggers with a steam roller.

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Why was golf invented?

So white people get a chance to dress like niggers.

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What do you do if you see a nigger with half a head?

Stop laughing and reload.

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Why did god create orgasms?

So niggers know when to stop.

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Why did god give niggers rhythm?

Because he fucked up their hair, nose and lips.

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Why are so many niggers moving to Detroit?

They heard there were no jobs there.

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Why can't nigger women become nuns?

Because they can't get used to saying 'superior' after 'Mother'.

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How do you fit 15 niggers in the back of a Cadillac?

Don't worry, they'll figure it out.

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What's yellow and black and makes you laugh ?

A bus full of niggers going over a cliff.

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How do you stop a nigger from drowning?

You don't.

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Whats blue and hangs in my front yard?

My nigger I can paint him whatever color I want.

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Why do seagulls have wings?

To beat the niggers to the dump.

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What's a crying shame?

When a bus full of niggers drives off a cliff and there were 3 empty seats.

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What do you call an Ethiopian with a feather up his ass?

A dart.

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Why did the Jews wander in the desert for 40 years?

Because one of them lost a quarter.

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What does N.A.A.C.P stand for?

Niggers Are Always Causing Problems How many spics does it take to have a bath?

Five, one to lie in the tub and four to spit on him.

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What do a nigger and an apple have in common?

They both look good hanging from a tree.

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Why are niggers always buried 12 feet deep?

Deep down they're good people.

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What's the difference between a porch monkey and a yard ape?

The length of the chain.

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What's black, orange, and very pretty?

A nigger on fire.

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What do you have if you've got a nigger up to his neck in cement?

Not enough cement.

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How was copper wire invented?

Two jews fighting over a penny.

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How do you starve a nigger?

Hide his welfare check under his work boots.

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How do you get 12 niggers in a Volkswagen?

Throw in a welfare check.

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How do you get them out?

Throw in a job application.

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Why are there trees in Harlem?

Public transportation.

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How does a black woman fight crime?

She has an abortion.

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What do you say when you see your T.V. floating around at night?

"Drop it nigger."

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