Poe Revisited, Computer Style

Once upon a midnight dreary, fingers cramped and vision bleary,

System manuals piled high and wasted paper on the floor

Longing for the warmth of bedsheets,

Still I sat there, doing spreadsheets;

Having reached the bottom line,

I took a floppy from the drawer.

Typing with a steady hand, then invoked the SAVE command

But I got a reprimand: it read "Abort, Retry, Ignore."

Was this some occult illusion? Some maniacal intrusion?

These were choices Solomon himself had never faced before.

Carefully, I weighed my options.

These three seemed to be the top ones.

Clearly I must now adopt one:

Choose "Abort, Retry, Ignore."

With my fingers pale and trembling,

Slowly toward the keyboard bending,

Longing for a happy ending, hoping all would be restored,

Praying for some guarantee

Finally I pressed a key--

But on the screen what did I see?

Again: "Abort, Retry, Ignore."

I tried to catch the chips off-guard--

I pressed again, but twice as hard.

Luck was just not in the cards.

I saw what I had seen before.

Now I typed in desperation

Trying random combinations

Still there came the incantation:

Choose: "Abort, Retry, Ignore."

There I sat, distraught, exhausted, by my own machine accosted

Getting up I turned away and paced across the office floor.

And then I saw an awful sight:

A bold and blinding flash of light--

A lightning bolt had cut the night and shook me to my very core.

I saw the screen collapse and die

"Oh no--my data base," I cried

I thought I heard a voice reply,

"You'll see your data Nevermore!"

To this day I do not know

The place to which lost data goes

I bet it goes to heaven where the angels have it stored

But as for productivity, well

I fear that IT goes straight to hell

And that's the tale I have to tell

Your choice: "Abort, Retry, Ignore."