So I’m watching the Olympics and I’m rooting for the U.S. four-man bobsled team to win the gold, mostly because no U.S. team has done it since 1948. The U.S. bobsled, nicknamed “Night Train”, is driven by Steven Holcomb. After three runs, the U.S. team was in first place with only one run to go.

Then I had a random thought.

I wonder if Steven Holcomb has a Facebook page.

So I look him up, and he does.

Then I have another random thought.

I should friend the guy. He seems like a nice guy. What the heck.

So I send him a friend request, thinking that maybe after the Olympics he might actually approve it and I can say I’m friends with an Olympic star.

Within a minute, my Facebook page tells me the following:

“Steven Holcomb has approved your friend request.”

Now wait a minute, I think to myself.

Steven Holcomb is supposed to be preparing himself for the fourth and final run, trying to be the first American driver to win this thing in 62 years.

So then I think, okay, someone else is obviously taking care of his Facebook page. So I check his page and lo and behold, there’s a posting from him just minutes old where he explains he is holding his Blackberry at that moment, because he likes to check his Facebook page between runs. He says it relaxes him.



So right in the middle of Steven Holcomb’s HISTORIC, once-every-62-years-athletic-achievement, Steven Holcomb took some time out to friend Stephan Pastis.

Now maybe I’m inferring too much from this, but I think it’s fair to assume that just before he friended me, he was probably saying to himself, “Well, I want to win this bobsled thing, and I’ve come this far, but do I really HAVE to win it? After all, winning isn’t everything.”

But then AFTER he friended me, everything changed. Because then he started thinking,”I CANNOT LET MY NEW FACEBOOK FRIEND STEPHAN PASTIS DOWN!”

And what happened? He went out and clinched first place.

In other words, I won a gold medal.

Alright, fine….WE won a gold medal.

Hope there’s room on the medal stand.