I am in the minority. I am not talking about skin color as I am white and I am not talking about me being transgender. What I am referring to is that I belong to a select group of people who are seen as crazy by much of the world’s population, I like being a goal keeper in soccer. It’s seriously the best position on the pitch and all of you people out there running around trying score just don’t know what you are missing. I love the spike of adrenaline when the opposing team is attacking and I get to try and make a save either diving off to the side to block it or literally diving face first to try and grab the ball before the player kicks it. What’s not to love about potentially getting your face smashed by a ball or a foot?

I am so happy I started playing again after years of not, it was thanks to a lovely group of friends of mine in the Twin Cities that reminded me of my love of playing that sport. And when I signed up in the league I obviously checked goal keeper as preferred position but I assumed most everyone thought like me and wanted to play keep so I checked about every other position except for forward. I quickly found out how wrong I was and was getting multiple emails by team captains asking me to sub in for them or become their primary keeper. Before long I was playing regularly on three teams in different divisions and all that playing time got me really good at the position. I became quite aggressive in challenging opposing players near the edges of the box to stop a scoring attempt before they had a chance to make it. I was riding a high towards the end of the winter session in February of 2016.

Sara on a free kick

After the session ended is when I went to Thailand to escape the cold of a Minnesota winter, eat delicious and spicy food, and oh yeah have bottom surgery to get my vagina installed. The surgery went well and my recovery was incredibly smooth and after six weeks of light duty I was back to rock climbing and bicycling and waiting for the summer season of the soccer league to begin. The first game back my heart just wasn’t in it; I was resting on the back of my feet and waiting for the opponent to act as opposed to making them react to me. The match next week started much of the same for me until my friend and favorite sweeper Sara turned to me and said “Nat, strap on your big girl vag and get aggressive”. Those words shook me out of whatever funk I was in, partially because of the words and partially because of who said them. But the message was clear, it was time to woman up and kick some ass. I shook my head, jumped up and down a few times shaking out my arms to get rid of whatever bad vibes that I had. From that moment the intensity of the game changed and I was no longer a reactionary force but a force to be feared.

That phrase has stuck with me ever since and anytime I need to try hard and do something tough I always think of Sara when I say to myself “time to strap on my big girl vag”. That phrase has gotten me through hard rock climbs, up Piss Mountain, and through countless soccer matches. Every once in a while we all need a friend to cheer us on to motivate us when our heart just isn’t in it or to give us that little extra push to the end. And when you find that thing that motivates you through a challenge hold onto it to use in the future because you never know when you’ll have to use your “big girl vag”.



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