Being a better conversationalist

While having a conversation, it’s common that our subconscious mind always force us to win it. We tend to stop the other person’s talk and reply to it. These answers are completely based on our instinct.

This affected me a lot and people were not ready to listen to what I had to say. So I re-ordered the steps and it worked well. It portrayed a positive vibe and that added to my character. The funny part is that we’ve been doing this in our every conversation but in a different order. eg: Talk, think and listen or Think, listen and talk :)

Let’s get it right for now. Every conversation that we have is a beginning of a relation. None of us can predict the growth of that relation.

There are three main parts of the body that we would need to perform the act of listening. i.e the eyes, lips and the ears.

We need to look into other person’s eyes when they’re talking. It tells them that we’re paying attention. To give a confirmation that we have listened, we can use our lips and say ‘OK’ with a subtle smile. I would not recommend nodding of head because it’s more of a culture difference. Not every culture takes nodding as a YES. Finally the ears where we listen to every word they say. It’s not mandatory that we understand everything because we will get a chance to ask them about it.

After listening, we need to rewind the whole conversation in our mind. It will appear only as bits but that’s ok. As we do this, our mind will start to frame the replies. If the other person interrupts our thought process and ask our opinion, we can ask for more time. Depending on the depth of the conversation and value of time, we can tell them that we’re thinking and to give us a min. They will allow for it because they respect the fact that we’ve listened to them. The thought process will only take a couple of seconds. Our brain is good at it.

After thinking about it, talk in a genuine and respectable way. Towards the end, we can say also that we need to think more about it and will get back. Don’t worry, they will allow. But we need to make sure that we get back to them. Let’s keep our tone as neutral as possible. It a sign of being calm.

Give it a try and let me know how did it go. Let’s see if a nice conversation can lead to a good relation.

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Have a splendid day ahead.