So, in 1885, historian Charles Plummer coined the term “bastard feudalism,” according to Wikipedia--my primary source of facts, since 2005. Bastard feudalism was later described as centered “not on the financial aspect (the sums involved were mostly negligible) but on the concept of service in exchange for good favor. In a society governed on a personal basis, service to a lord was the best way to obtain favor in the form of offices, grants, etc. Lords would retain administrators and lawyers, as well as recruiting local gentry into their affinities. In return for becoming retainers, the gentry would expect to rely on their lord's influence in local and national politics.” This is all the Columbia SIPA way of saying: folks paid people like shit, treated people like shit, and expected people to take their shit for the slim chance that once you endure the hazing, “pay your dues” (whatever that means in 2019), and if the lord shines their kind grace upon you, then you too could be the shit.

That’s bullshit.

In the 48-page long (y’all will get the gist in the first 9) report by the New York City Council’s Standards and Ethics Committee, a devastating portrait of retaliation, harassment, homophobia, misconduct, fraud, and self-dealing--probably racketeering too, you know, all the mob shit--is painted of the Council Member from the 12th District in the Bronx and his wife, a powerful union leader. In one incident, the Council Member forced a legislative office-based staffer with a medical condition to travel daily to the district office in the Bronx--a two-hour commute each way, as punishment for cooperating with the Council investigation into himself. In another, King King watched as one of his senior staff members pulled up on a subordinate, berated them, and put their damn hands on them. Politico reported, Boss Andy even sent two staffers he believed to be cooperating with the investigation home and told them not to come back till he called. BREAKING NEWS: HE NEVER DID. After five weeks, he fired them. This is all on top of forcing staffers to chauffeur him around without pay, staff his wife while she used Council resources for her side hustles--get ya money, girl, outing an employee after she filed a sexual harassment claim against him, saying some despicable shit about Speaker Corey Johnson and former Council Member Rosie Mendez, and that’s just this term. Under feudal legislative rules, this bastard has been allowed to act with impunity and treat his staff in a manner that is tantamount to torture, because he is an all-powerful elected. As I read the reporting, wondering who the fuck he thinks he is and imagining the fear these men and women--many quite young--felt for their careers, their finances, and frankly their lives, all I could think was… he ain’t the only one.

All hail the mini-lords and ladies who through low voter turnout, the power of incumbency, and folks generally not giving a fuck take their low-to-mid 6-figure salary, little office budget, and 2-minute speaking time on the floor and do whatever they damn well please. All witness the ambitious staffers with our West Wing romanticism who wearily run behind them in the corner of the frame working 80-plus hours a week, for under $60K to help shape the policies and serve the constituents throughout the City and State for the off-chance that the magnificent member will rise and take them to the top.

That's bullshit.

Now don't get me wrong, there are certainly countless good electeds who simply want to do their jobs, help their constituents, don't expect to be waited on hand and foot, and treat their staff with respect and professionalism. At worst, these mini-lords are quirky with a few weird ass habits and peccadillos. If you work for one of them, more power to ya! If you've managed to befriend or bond with your member like family, and therefore don't face the brunt of their ego, keep it up! You're doing amazing, sweetie. But for the rest, the Andy King report is triggering at best and heart-wrenching at worst. Because while extreme, it isn't totally unfamiliar to the community liaison forced to attend a precinct council meeting in the furthest part of the district until the dead of night with no overtime. It's striking to the legislative director who after negotiating a bill in a bathroom stall at a holiday party has to drive the elected in pouring, ice-cold rain to an unpaid campaign event. It's painful to the budget director who after nearly 7 years of crushing service to the elected’s whim watches as they endorse the other candidate--because, ya know, loyalty.

We've all heard the stories of caprice, torment, and asshole-ishness. The model turned Council Member who fired his staff as a Christmas surprise, on the advice of his life coach. Or the stubby member who hugged and kissed his staffer without consent so much that she stopped going to meetings with him. How about the powerful State Senator who stuffed his nasty tongue down a staffer’s throat to celebrate the state budget--a real turn-on, no doubt. Let's not forget about the failed Queens DA candidate who terminated his whole ass staff, because they didn't support his prospective failed run for Mayor. Or the up-and-coming Member who made his staffer pay for his rent and colonoscopy. Or what about--okay I'll stop, but there are PLENTY more stories like these. Too many, far too many that will never be reported or heard of or investigated. Instead, we bite our tongues out of fear of retribution, impacts on our own political careers, or the mythological notion that you are lucky to work like a dog, supplant your public and private identity (contrary to our Twitter bios, opinions are not our fucking own), and earn what Council Member Ritchie Torres called slave wages, in hopes of making our lords happy. If we make them happy, we will be happy. That's the dream we're sold.

That's bullshit.

Only we can make ourselves happy. Only we can determine our future. Build our careers. Set our standards. And the only way to do any of that is to UNIONIZE NOW! Through collective bargaining, legislative staff can negotiate for higher, more standardized salaries, overtime, job security, and so many other protections. Electeds and senior staff would be incentivized to be much more deliberative and thoughtful in hiring, firing, pay, scheduling. and overall treatment of staff members. If they no longer see us as disposable, as a means to an end, as simply lucky to be there, both sides would likely gain a sense of ease and compassion in our working relationships. We must demand our legislative leaders throughout the state come to the table, that labor groups don't back away out of fear of retaliation, and that members remain neutral, as we form a strong collective. There are hardworking staffers working in the background to make this effort come to life, but we got to have their backs! Because, all we want to do is fucking work.

Leaders from Comptroller Scott Stringer to Speaker Corey Johnson to Mayor de Blasio have called for Council Member King to resign his seat. The City Council voted to impose some of the most aggressive sanctions on a member as they vote to suspend him and strip his committee memberships. But let's not suspend our grip on reality. Andy King may finally be facing some semblance of consequences for his actions, but what about all those young professionals who were let go, due to “staff reorganization”, who quietly resigned and left government service, or who are still right there, in the corner of the frame, gritting their teeth, struggling to pay their bills, and hoping that the dream is worth the nightmare? How do we answer for them? By fucking unionizing!

And that's real shit.