SCOTLAND’S new away kit represents the country’s history of producing delicate indie music for manchildren, according to the SFA.

The strip was launched on Wednesday to a fanfare of jangly guitars and a maudlin rendition of Lloyd, Im Ready To Be Heartbroken by Camera Obscura.

As well as a pink and yellow hooped shirt and socks, Scottish players will also be issued with an anorak, a pair of thick-rimmed glasses held together with Sellotape, and a dream journal.

An SFA spokesman said: From The Pastels to BMX Bandits to Belle & Sebastian, Scotland has long been a global leader in wistful disappointment, thanks to our natural abundance of sexless, pasty-faced introverts.

This kit stands for being obsessed with a girl who doesnt know you exist, walking through the rain feeling melancholy but strangely uplifted, and writing excruciating love poetry well into your twenties.

Its just what youd expect from the nation that gave the world Teenage Fanclub, Dogs Die In Hot Cars, and Pat Nevin.

The shirt, available in all sizes from S to XXXS, is made from high-tech microfibres that absorb, reflect and magnify the wearers crippling self-doubt.

It should ideally be viewed in Kelvingrove Park in the early autumn sunshine, but kit manufacturer Adidas has reassured fans that it can also be enjoyed through the viewfinder of a Super 8 camera.

Self-declared bowlie kid Wayne Hayes said: Its not knitted, which is ridiculous. Frankly I preferred their early stuff.