The Human Condition Book Two #71

There are some things in life to be avoided: cold-water showers, on-coming traffic, irate mother-in-laws and one awful word. Supposedly this word fosters delusions, shades us from the realm of reality and cultivates the heaviness of guilt.

Dire enough?

Personally I do not think it is that bad, but I do know that the word should has never had anything to do with reality, and it never will.

I should organize my desk, eat less processed food and wash the car more often, but probably I won’t; and because of that word, I will feel vaguely guilty for each and every probably won’t that becomes a didn’t.

And when should comes at me from them, thee or me, it feels as if someone is wagging their morally-weighted finger in my direction; and imagine the guilt when should not backlashes into should not have?

To sum up: I should but do not want to and probably did not. You shouldn’t but want to and maybe did. Did you?

For too many of us, our lives lay somewhere between heavier-than-necessary and flat-out squashed, because we should all over ourselves and those around us.

And we suffer, too, because this word is lifeless. Should contains absolutely zero energy, and it is often accompanied by a sigh; in contrast, our life-supporting desires are at the very least attractive, if not compelling, and they always have energy.

So, should we delete should from our vocabulary, along with its ill-bred spawn (should have, should not and should not have)? Should we then pull in, highlight and otherwise focus on the word choice and then choose to do or do not?

No, we should not.

But some of us want to and even are.

Note: Even moral/religious imperatives can be empowering choices rather than shoulds.

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