I don’t know about you but, to me, this whole notion of “(fill-in-the-blank) religiously” is just an insidious way of introducing the spiritual into secular circumstance, as though invoking surreal beliefs imparts a positive shine on any experience when the exact opposite is true. For instance, if you say that you “mow the lawn religiously every Tuesday” does that mean you spin a dreidel to see if you mow all the lawn, half the lawn, none of the lawn, or add some fertilizer and wait a week?

Would you perform heart-transplant surgery religiously by letting the patient die, waiting three days, and then giving the patient the new heart?

Or how about if you invade other countries religiously?… Okay, bad example.

This is not to say that I am too proud to occasionally employ the notion myself. When I go to the bathroom after a heavy Mexican meal, I always do so religiously. Which means I always light a candle, take comfort in local mythology (Like, say, a Spider-Man comic), and hope the ceremony ends quickly.

I think it’s safe to say that the only thing that should be done religiously is something religious.