A video posted by STFU Parents (“Sh*t Crunchy Mamas Say”) made me want to do this.

Sh*t Childfree Say

1. “I think I’m just going to hang out all day and read a book from cover to cover.”

2. “What’s that thing for?”

3. “What, you can’t have four little glasses of wine? I’m sure they won’t wake you up in the morning.”

4. “I wish they made those little boots in my size.”

5. “Oh. You mean they go with you everywhere?”

6. “How hard can it be to find a babysitter?”

7. “Do you really need to bring all that stuff with you?”

8. “So, like, do you identify with most of the women on TV?”

What are your “Sh*t Childfree Say” suggestions? Leave ’em below!

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Sylvia D. Lucas is the author of

