I actually thought I’d seen it all in the climate emergency fantasy world and that nothing could shock me any more, that we rational human beings had probably witnessed Peak Stupid or something close in the faux debate about ‘climate breakdown’ and what we as a society should be doing to ‘stop’ it. But no. National Grid have pushed the boundaries yet again and jumped, not the shark, but the killer whale, and now I fully expect that others will seek out even bigger ‘fish’ in the deep blue sea of seemingly fathomless stupidity which characterises the existential crisis that was once called ‘global warming’. That’s if everything in the deep blue sea doesn’t die of oxygen starvation first of course.

So, yes, here we go anyway. Let’s delve into the murky, incoherent, risible depths of National Grid’s stunning demonstration of just how intellectually, cerebrally, and rationally challenged they have become as an organisation promoting renewables and wind energy. The headline reads:

A smart energy system in action

Naturally, one interprets the word ‘smart’ to mean, well, intelligent, technologically advanced, adaptable etc. You don’t really expect National Grid to then explain that it’s ‘smart’ because consumers are being paid (yes, actually paid) to burn energy at random and unpredictable times when the sodding wind happens to be blowing! But that’s exactly what these morons claim.

Over the weekend, consumers up and down the nation found themselves being paid to use electricity generated from renewable sources. Why?

More and more renewable sources of power are coming online so it’s important we find ways of using as much of that power as possible, to ensure it’s not wasted and help keep costs down too.

The blustery conditions meant a consistently high level of wind power over the weekend, in fact 5pm on Sunday saw the record for the amount of electricity generated by wind power in Great Britain – 16162 MW. That meant a surplus of wind energy, which is where negative pricing comes in.

Even now, when the UK has not finished adding offshore wind capacity in order to go ‘net zero carbon’ energy generation by 2025 or 2050 or whenever, even now, existing installations are starting to generate ‘too much’ energy which, if not used pretty rapidly (because it can’t be stored) willdestabilise the grid and cause catastrophic blackouts as happened recently in London and the South East (though National Grid won’t admit it). So what do they do, they pay smartmeter energy customers to basically squander that energy. If someone tells you you’ll be paid for every kWh you use, you’re gonna switch every damn electrical appliance in the house on right? Make sure every single room in the house is heated to 25C, wash all the curtains, bedding, run the immersion constantly, give the dogs two baths each etc. etc. You ain’t gonna say ‘Oh great, I might just have four slices of toast this morning, instead of my usual two’.

But NG boffins think that profligate and unplanned rapid disposal of this surplus energy which cannot be stored by their ‘smart’ grid amounts to somehow ‘saving’ energy and somehow ‘reducing one’s carbon footprint’. I feel a McEnroe moment coming on at this point: “Jesus CHRIST! You CANNOT be SERIOUS!!”

Some energy suppliers (companies who buy energy in the wholesale market and sell it on to customers) offer flexible time of use tariffs. Time of use tariffs are designed to incentivise customers to use more energy at off-peak times, in order to balance demand. These tariffs charge cheaper rates at certain times of night or day, when demand is at its lowest, and higher rates at popular times. On Saturday and Sunday night consumers on these flexible tariffs were offered energy prices that saw them paid for every unit of electricity they used.

Using this excess energy in homes and batteries across the country helps us in our role balancing the grid and avoids energy being wasted.

Then we get treated to a direct quote from NG’s Director of Operations himself:

National Grid ESO’s Director of Operations Duncan Burt explains more:

“As more renewable sources of power come online we’re looking to encourage more intelligent energy use and technology. Whilst small in scale, initiatives such as this are really exciting offering consumers and business financial incentives, helping them to reduce their carbon footprint and playing in helping the UK to transition to a low carbon energy system.”

Now that is priceless – unlike National Grid’s surplus electricity generation on windy days which they’re so desperate to get rid of incase it causes blackouts that they’re actually paying customers to burn it. But of course on days when it isn’t windy, those same customers with ‘smart’ meters installed will find that their energy costs sky-rocket and they can’t afford to even use a one bar electric fire. In fact, not too far off from now, they’ll find that their ‘smart’ toaster tells them they can’t have any toast at all because there’s no surplus energy in the grid. ‘Smart’ meters will then be fulfilling their original intended purpose – energy rationing.

Of course, something this stupid, you would expect the Graun to immediately pick up on and shout it from the rooftops. They don’t disappoint. At all.

Thousands of households were paid to use extra renewable electricity over the weekend as windfarms generated unprecedented levels of clean power.

Homes using a new type of smart-energy tariff were urged to plug in their electric vehicles overnight and set their dishwasher on a timer to take advantage of the record renewables in the early hours of the morning.

The blustery weather helped windfarms generate almost 45% of the UK’s electricity on Sunday, setting a record of more than 16GW that evening. At times there was more wind power than the UK needed.

‘Unprecedented levels of clean power’. FFS! Bonkers Boris and his shiny Green Tories intend to go full speed ahead with this madness. The UK is running at breakneck speed into a catastrophe – and it ain’t no climate catastrophe.