Last week I was in Torrington, North Devon, the village that’s been in the news because local people organised a massive collection of clothes and toys, for Syrian refugees placed in the area. Hundreds took part in the collection, and the local theatre was filled with provisions.

It’s a story that would make any reasonable person look at those children’s faces and say, “What a bunch of do-gooding whining liberals, this is typical of the metropolitan elites in their cosy London boroughs such as North Devon.”

North Devon obviously isn’t in Devon, because a law of modern life is that in the real neglected England that no one ever talks about, real proper people think all immigrants are thieving dogs, and they understand these matters because they’ve never seen a mango.

So it’s lucky the Daily Mail was able to report, “Fury as refugees are settled in Devon”, and another paper told us the refugees “faced anger” from the community.

Justin Trudeau moved to tears when reunited with refugee family he welcomed last year

Because when the mayor, local theatre and hundreds of residents organised the collections, and arranged meetings to welcome the refugees, you could at first sight see this as motivated slightly by kindness. But these newspapers weren’t fooled, and understand it’s tradition in North Devon to express your anger by buying a room full of clothes and arranging them in a hall.

Whatever you do when you’re in South Molton, don’t shout at a tractor driver to move out of your way, or they’ll lose their temper and collect six hundred pounds worth of jumpers and line them up in their kitchen, insisting you take the lot. Because a lifetime of working on the land makes them vicious.

Five national newspapers told the story of this rage against the refugees, all quoting one man who said: “We’re receiving 50 to 70 refugees, and 50 to 70 is a huge number in an area with restricted public transport.”

There’s no doubt 50 to 70 would create a problem for local public transport, if all 50 to 70 of them were housed on one bus.

Calais refugee camp evacuation Show all 15 1 /15 Calais refugee camp evacuation Calais refugee camp evacuation Refugees run past a fire in the makeshift migrant camp known as 'the jungle' in Calais, October 2016 AP Calais refugee camp evacuation French authorities say the closure of the slum-like camp in Calais will last approximately a week in what they describe as a "humanitarian" operation, October 2016 AP Calais refugee camp evacuation A painted message saying 'Bye Jungle' on a tent in the camp in Calais, October 2016 Getty Calais refugee camp evacuation Refugees set rubbish bins alight as a protest in the makeshift camp 'the Jungle' in Calais, France, October 2016 EPA Calais refugee camp evacuation French riot police advance through tear gas and smoke from a fire to disperse refugees throwing stones and lighting fires at the Jungle migrant camp Getty Calais refugee camp evacuation French CRS riot police secure an area on the eve of the evacuation and transfer of refugees to reception centers in France Reuters Calais refugee camp evacuation Journalists run away from smoke during clashes near a makeshift refugee camp known as 'the jungle' in Calais AP Calais refugee camp evacuation French CRS riot police secure an area on the eve of the evacuation and transfer of refugees to reception centers in Franc Reuters Calais refugee camp evacuation Migrants queue for transportation by bus to reception centres across France, from the 'Jungle' refugee camp in Calais Getty Calais refugee camp evacuation Refugees line-up to register at a processing centre in the 'jungle' near Calais, northern France, as the mass exodus from the migrant camp begins PA wire Calais refugee camp evacuation Refugees with luggage walk past a graffiti on a wall as they leave the 'Jungle' migrant camp, as part of a major three-day operation planned to clear the camp in Calais Getty Calais refugee camp evacuation French far-right Front National (FN) party's member of parliament Marion Marechal-Le Pen (L) delivers a speech next to a banner reading "They arrive in Vaucluse, no migrants in our place" as she attends a rally against the hosting of refugees in La Tour d'Aigues Getty Images Calais refugee camp evacuation French police forces secure the area near the 'Jungle' refugee camp in Calais Getty Calais refugee camp evacuation Refugees leave messages on their tents in the Jungle migrant camp Getty Calais refugee camp evacuation Refugees carry their belongings and transfer to reception centers in France

The 7.15am from St Mary’s Church to Barnstaple would be a dreadful crush, so it’s no wonder this man was annoyed, and you can see why the newspapers regard him as the spokesman for the entire region, rather than the hundreds of people who provided all the clothes, who represent no one but themselves.

But it gets worse, because every newspaper covering the story told how refugee children “annoyed locals” by “relaxing playing basketball on a basketball court”. That’s just taking the piss, isn’t it? How dare children play sports in an area specially designated for that specific sport?

They should reward our hospitality by playing sports in the wrong areas, such as basketball on a chess board, or skiing on a snooker table.

The press kindly illustrated their complaint by showing a series of photographs of the refugee children, playing basketball, taken with a long-range lens from the bushes. This was a brave assignment, because children playing basketball on a basketball court can be fearsome if they know they’re being watched. Such courage certainly puts these wimps who take close-ups of crocodiles in their place.

The story went on to tell us the refugees have been placed in North Devon “as police fired tear gas into crowds of migrants in Calais.” This shows the risk to North Devon, because the fact that other refugees were being tear-gassed in another country proves refugees all get tear-gassed, as it’s their hobby.

Teddy bear that makes refugees feel welcome by teaching them english

They’ll probably steal a pig and ride it into Barnstaple police station in the hope they get tear gassed, though at least they’ll insist on being tear-gassed in a proper tear-gassing area, and not wander off to get tear-gassed on a cricket pitch.

Then the man who was worried about the impact on transport was quoted as saying: “There’s already a shortage of doctors round here.”

Eventually we’ll see sense and cure the shortage of doctors in our Health Service by getting rid of immigrants. Then the staff in a care home will be able to say to their residents: “Mrs Watkins, MRS WATKINS DEAR, it’s about your cataract operation, your cataracts dear, it’s your operation tomorrow, do you remember? The only thing is, it can’t be done by Doctor Patel as he’s had to go home as there were too many immigrants. So it’s still going ahead dear, but it’s being done by Nathan, he’s got a BTEC in nail care.”

The heartening side is there’s an official tradition in Britain of the press and government being overwhelmingly welcoming to refugees, on the condition they came here at least 50 years ago. We’re all proud of how we accepted Jews from Germany, though at the time the newspapers complained about 50 to 70 Jewish children invading Suffolk and playing tennis on a tennis court.

The problem for people who wish to complain about refugees, is many people may be uneasy about them when they’re part of a large group, but most people make things feel less hostile when they see an actual real-life one. Then even many Ukip voters are more likely to take a coat down to the collection centre.

So it’s understandable if this annoys newspapers who campaign against immigration. All their hard work in stirring up animosity is undermined by a group of Syrian children arriving in North Devon, and spoiling everything by making people feel humane and generous.