Just as the ambassador once wooed his easily impressed guests with Ferrero Rocher, so the Sun courts us this morning with another bold transfer splash. "Monsieur, with this Alexis Sánchez to Manchester United rumour, you are really spoiling us," they would have us coo, yet for all the packaging might proclaim its own exclusivity, the substance of this piece tastes a little stale.

The Sánchez to Somewhere (Please God, Anywhere) saga has been rumbling on for long enough now that the player has already been linked to every club with a bank account more than six times over, but if the Sun's latest "scoop" has a particularly tired feel it might be because the one fresh development: David Gill meeting Udinese representatives in Barcelona, was widely reported in Italy yesterday. (Unnecessary pedantry alert: Gino Pozzo, who met Gill, is identified by the English tabloid as Udinese's president, when in fact that post is held by Franco Soldati. Gino Pozzo is the son of the owner Giampaolo, though obviously still authorised to conduct such negotiations).

If you fancy a sneak preview of tomorrow's headlines, then, head directly to Gazzetta dello Sport, who report that Pozzo will meet Juventus suits to discuss their interest in Sánchez today in Milan. In the meantime, the Sun round off their Italian homework by noting the words of the Palermo owner Maurizio Zamparini, who has warned potential suitors – said to include Chelsea – that they will have to pay £44m for the Argentinian Javier Pastore, and by parroting persistent but rather unlikely reports that have Atlético Madrid's Sergio Agüero is on his way to Juventus for £40m.

Elsewhere, in countries not shaped like a lady's boot, Arsène Wenger will make Arsenal's fans' wishes come true by finally getting shot of Denílson. Oh, and he might get some chap called Willian from Shakhtar Donetsk in exchange. Plus blow a further £12-14m on Lille's Gervinho, then snap up one of Gary Cahill or Christopher Samba to shore up the defence and snaffle the Brazilian striker Leandro Damião from under Tottenham's noses. Great. But seriously, Denílson's on his way … right?

As the Brazilian makes his way to Heathrow, he might just cross paths with Guus Hiddink, expected at Stamford Bridge just as soon as he can finish wriggling out of his existing job with the Turkish national team. After being made to wait so long for his arrival, Chelsea expect their new man to arrive bearing gifts. Show up with anything less than a comedy fez and the Galatasaray winger Arda Turan, and Guus could find himself sleeping on the sofa.

There'll be no sleep for Asamoah Gyan, as he tries to work out how it is that he could wind up unwanted by a club that is desperate to sign David Ngog. Despite having already flogged Jordan Henderson for £20m to Liverpool, Sunderland are seeking to raise even more funds in order to pursue the Liverpool striker, along with Birmingham's Craig Gardner and the Manchester United pairing of Wes Brown and Darron Gibson.

The Mirror, meanwhile, report Aston Villa have come to the conclusion that Stewart Downing is worth more than 50% of an Andy Carroll, and will therefore demand £20m from Liverpool for their winger. Carroll's former club Newcastle, meanwhile, will invest £6m on the Switzerland and Bayer Leverkusen midfielder Tranquillo Barnetta.

In other news, Jérôme Boateng may or may not be on his way to Bayern Munich, Blackburn want a piece (well, ideally all, actually) of Roma's Mirko Vucinic, and Everton's Jack Rodwell reckons Steven Gerrard, Frank Lampard and John Terry – among others – could walk into Barcelona's starting line-up. No, really.