

WASHINGTON DC –

Making a frantic call from the shower stall of his 2nd floor bathroom this morning, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell called for Senate Republicans to immediately vote without delay via conference call to confirm Brett Kavanaugh to the Supreme Court “before any of those slippery goddam devils tries to back out.”

Yelling at the Senate switchboard operator to patch thru every Republican member via their personal cell phones no matter “where the hell they were or what they were doing,’ the majority leader urgently tried to rally Republicans to head off any further discussions and vote “right f-ing now!”

Although the background noise of 51 separate cellphone connections, including alarm clocks, barking dogs, sirens, cable news channels, spin class instructors and kids crying was deafening, the Senator’s echos from shouting in his bathroom seemed to be cutting thru as of press time. A full voice vote was expected to carry the nomination shortly.



makeamericathebest.com

Your Trusted Source for Faux News.