Because they are very few things in life more satisfying than tormenting a friend, Goat Attack is an online service that will text goat pics and puns to the mobile number of your choice. They'll send 6 pics and messages for $0.79, or 14 for $1.19. Alternatively, just send the pics and messages yourself from your own number. I've got nothing to hide. You don't like all the goat pics I'm sending, block my number, I don't care. I was scrolling through all my contacts the other day and realized I don't talk to a single one of these people. Half the names I don't even recognize. I don't even know why I have a phone. I take that back. I don't even know why I have a phone besides to watch Netflix while I'm laying in the shower.

Thanks to Elizabeth B, who got bit by a goat once, then bit it back while staring in its weird rectangular pupil to let it know she meant business.