The Essence of Humanity

Tl;Dr — Differences define who we are, so why are we so quick to dismiss them when we notice them in others?

“Difference is of the essence of humanity. Difference is an accident of birth and it should therefore never be the source of hatred or conflict. The answer to difference is to respect it. Therein lies a most fundamental principle of peace: respect for diversity.” — John Hume

Dear Reader,

Merriam-Webster defines ‘culture’ as:

the customary beliefs, social forms, and material traits of a racial, religious, or social group

also, the characteristic features of everyday existence (such as diversions or a way of life) shared by people in a place or time

Across age, racial, economic, ethnic, and religious groups, culture is what makes us different. Our beliefs, values, traditions, and aspirations are all largely created, influenced, and reinforced by the culture we were born into or the cultures we’ve been heavily exposed to over our lives.

A related phrase you might already be familiar with is ‘culture shock’. Also from Merriam-Webster, culture shock is:

a sense of confusion and uncertainty sometimes with feelings of anxiety that may affect people exposed to an alien culture or environment without adequate preparation

Culture shock makes us uncomfortable. In some cases, like travel, that discomfort is welcome. You are somewhere new and it’s exciting. But many times, it’s easy for that discomfort to turn into dislike for or disapproval of the new culture.

‘Culture shock’ is usually used in the context of longterm travel, permanent moves, or some other period of transition into a new environment. But we are exposed to small brushes with different cultures all the time. It’s something we’ve started to call ‘mini-culture shocks.’

Think of your grandmother who must use the “nice dishes” for Thanksgiving dinner. Or your friend’s parents who are first-generation immigrants from India. Or that uncle who never leaves his farm except to meet the family for holiday dinners. Or your girlfriend’s well off cousin whose hotel of a home dwarfs your entire apartment complex.

All of these people have backgrounds unique to your own. They have a different culture. And while you may not ever be thrown into their environment for an extended period of time, there can still be a shock when your and their cultures mingle.

Long term culture shock forces us to either reframe our thinking or flee back to what’s familiar. Mini-culture shocks don’t usually expose us to a new culture in a way that forces us to truly consider it with an open mind. Instead, we dismiss Grandma’s behavior as “just what old people do” or your girlfriend’s cousin’s house as “what’s wrong with the rich” or your uncle’s political believes as “just what happens when you grow up on a farm.”

Rather than you consider the (perhaps justifiable) ‘why’ behind these different behaviors, they take on a persona that plays into your pre-existing cultural perspective.

The holidays are upon us, and with the holidays comes clashes of lots of different cultures. This week’s newsletters are a call to humanize your friends, family, acquaintances, the older generation, the younger generation, the people that look different than you, the people that act different than you… instead of placing them like puppets into your worldview. It’s a CTA to embrace these ‘mini-culture shocks’ as lessons equally as valuable as those that can be learned when exposed to longer cultural experiences.

Over the rest of this week, we will share examples of different people coming together in positive ways and cover how you can connect with anyone. Stay tuned! 🤗