I was driving to a Christmas party when my phone rang. I heard the words and my heart felt shattered. Every fear, every worry, every feeling of panic came rushing into my throat and I couldn’t stop it. I had to stop it. My babies were with me. I was about to meet new people and see old friends. It was a party. Everyone’s supposed to be happy. My heart felt ripped to shreds. I kept looking at my phone, even though I knew there would be nothing good to see. My face kept smiling, my mouth kept speaking but my heart was racing and the tears were always right beneath the surface.

Today it was them. You don’t know them. They’re just names to you. To some of you, they are symbols of heroism and honor, but to many of you they are symbols of “oppression” and “brutality.”

Today, they kissed their families goodbye, they went into work, and they were sitting in a car.

They died tonight – slaughtered – bullet after bullet pumped into their bodies. Not because of crime, not because of fear, but because of the uniform they wear. “Going to give some pigs wings tonight,” the killer boasted on social media, before taking to the streets.

They died tonight… and you let them.

You – sitting in your safe house with your enlightened thoughts and your selfish politics.

You – every one of you who supported the “protests,” the riots, the Sharptons and de Blasios of this nation.

You – sitting smugly behind your screen, commenting on police policies, the “unnecessary force,” the “racism” of the police.

PO Wenjian Liu and PO Rafael Ramos.

Remember their names.

You let them die tonight.

My heart is aching with sadness, loss, fear. I can’t stop the tears. My body is shaking and my heart is broken.

Tonight I am so angry.

You betrayed them!!!

You chose to honor the criminal and demean the innocent. You chose to make a thug like Michael Brown and a career petty criminal like Eric Garner the names on everyone’s lips, while the names of those who die protecting your freedom and your rights are soon forgotten.

You betrayed them.

More lives taken – but no one thinks THEY matter. More blood shed – heroic blood, not criminal – but no leader stands up to mourn them. Two more widows and fatherless sons, days before Christmas – but no one will be rioting or marching in the streets.

Men and women – HUMAN BEINGS, REGARDLESS OF THEIR COLOR – are being slaughtered, dying to protect your right to speak, to live, to march – and you choose to honor the criminals because of their color!?

You betrayed them.

People are indeed being targeted for who they are, but it isn’t the police doing the targeting.

My husband has been literally getting spat on as he walks into work – but he’ll still be standing there protecting your right to hold a sign saying “I Can’t Breathe.”

What did you think was going to happen? Who did you think you were supporting? Or did you not bother to think about it at all?

You betrayed them.

Tomorrow my children could wake up without a father.

Tomorrow the light could leave my own heart, even as I must go on living.

Tomorrow that knock on the door could be the one I dread.

Tomorrow the hands that calm my soul, that fill me with life and love and passion – tomorrow they could be cold forever.

So by all means, march through NYC, scream in their faces, call them pigs, threaten their families, deface their tombstones, mock their pain, and ignore their sacrifices.

But acknowledge the truth of what you are doing.

You have blood on your hands tonight, every one of you.

RIP, Blue Angels. You are now in a far, far better place. ❤

-Anna

**Edit: I have no idea how this post is reaching so many people, and to be honest, I’m not quite sure what to do about it. One thing I will say: this post was written for me, my husband, our friends and family. It was never meant as an in-depth analysis of the current state of our country, nor as an intellectual debate. It was, quite simply, an outpouring of raw emotion that needed to be released. If you’re interested in reading my follow up post, click here.

The fact that it has been shared by so many is a reminder to me that my husband is not alone, and that men/women of honor like him are not being forgotten by the people they serve so faithfully.

To all of the commenters… you came here of your own free will. I didn’t chase you down. I never asked (nor intended) for this post to spread so quickly. I wrote it, and by the time I woke up the next morning, it was everywhere. I will not apologize for deleting comments I don’t agree with – that is well within my rights on my personal blog, and I will continue to do so. There are plenty of places for you all to vent your anti-cop sentiments, as well as your totally legitimate concerns about our country’s justice system. I will say there were a few (and I do mean only a FEW) whose opinions, while I do not agree with them, were voiced thoughtfully and respectfully, which I appreciate. These comments I am allowing. If anyone chooses to reply to them, I ask that you do so with the same respect that they showed to me. Thank you.

God Bless all our Law Enforcement Officers and Thank You NYPD!**