The first week of college football every year is great. What isn’t great about it is (or is it are? I’m sorry I can’t hire an editor yet) the fact that it’s a guarantee that nearly everyone overreacts to performances in the first game. I am here to advise you on what to expect (that is if all my picks are right which has between a .00001% and a .00003% chance of happening).

1. Oklahoma vs FAU

Prediction:

Oklahoma will win this game by a score of 66-42 or something close to it. FAU has a solid team that will give the Oklahoma defense some trouble, but all in all, Oklahoma just is way too much firepower.

The Overreactions:

Kyler Murray will put on a show and Lincoln Riley will be praised as a QB wizard. Murray will even by some dumb analyst (I’m betting anyone 10 bucks it’s Colin Cowherd) will claim either 1. Kyler Murray is better than Baker Mayfield or 2. Baker Mayfield was a product of the system at Oklahoma. Oklahoma will face criticism for giving up 42 point to a team in Conference USA (despite being the second best G5 team in the country). The narrative of the Big 12 being bad on defense will be brought up again and people will say Oklahoma can win the Big 12 but will miss the playoff. FAU will drum up buzz as being the G5 representative in an NY6 Bowl. This will be gone when they lose to UCF later in the season. Lane Kiffin (A.K.A Joey Freshwater) will say or tweet something semi controversial that will be quoted on ESPN and the CFB subreddit an insanely large amount.

2. Furman vs Clemson

Prediction:

Furman pulls off the upset of the century. Nah Clemson wins by over 50. No team named the Paladins can ever do anything of relevance in a sport.

The Overreactions:

Trevor Lawrence will impress in garbage time and have even more people calling for him to start. Now I do think Trevor Lawrence is extremely talented, and can definitely end up being the best QB on Clemson’s roster by the end of the year, but I do think Clemson should give Kelly Bryant another chance. Bryant did fine up until the Alabama game last year which, I must say is a team that not very many QB’s have excelled against. I know that Kelly Bryant is probably under more pressure than any other player I can think of in college football this year (definitely spitballing here). I think that while Bryant will play well, Lawrence will make some great throws against a bad team and have an even bigger uproar in Clemson after this game. Furman gets a nice paycheck and goes back home to live happily ever after.

3. Penn State vs Appalachian State

Prediction:

Penn State wins by a score of 31-17 in a long drawn out game. App State never really looks like they’ll pull it off but hangs around until the end.

The Overreactions:

People are going to go crazy about Penn State missing Saquon Barkley after struggling out the gate against a secretly pretty good defense (the media will stupidly assume that App State might as well be a middle school flag football team like everyone not in the P5 is). While I think Penn State will likely disappoint this year, I have faith in James Franklin and I think the media will temporarily lost that after this game. Joe Moorhead will be discussed among the media as if he is the greatest offensive mind we’ve ever seen. Penn State will get back on their feet and people will slowly regain confidence in Keegan Michael Key’s coaching ability (Eh that was a typo but it was close enough).

4. Michigan vs Notre Dame

Prediction: Michigan slogs it out 20-17. Probably off of a late game score.

The Overreactions: Michigan is about to get an unbelievable amount of hype. They will have some media members who act like they’ve trotted out the craziest idea ever spawned say they think Michigan will make the playoff (just saying though I’ve called this since June so I guess I’m a hypocrite). Someone will also dare to say Michigan’s D Line is better than Clemson’s. When Michigan inevitably loses a game though, everyone will act like this never happened. For Notre Dame, Brian Kelly will briefly have his credentials questioned. He will ultimately be fine after Notre Dame wins 9-10 games, but it’ll be a rough couple weeks. Brandon Wimbush will not look great throwing and running at Michigan’s defense. Ian Book will start week 2 if he’s not brought in for Wimbush in this game here (Brian Kelly benched me from writing this article actually after I misspelled Brandon Wimbush’s name). Chaos will ensue, and fans will be torn. Each side of this argument will be loud and passionate. I look forward to this significantly (I’m taking bets now that Notre Dame starts 3 QB’s this year).

5. West Virginia vs Tennessee

Prediction:

West Virginia wins 48-24 or something similar.

The Overreactions:

Will Grier will start off his September Heisman campaign strongly. Grier and David Sills will thrash a mediocre Tennessee defense. The West Virginia hype train will barrel on and based off my predicted result with Oklahoma, some will say they can win the Big 12. Tennessee will have more questions about the QB position as Keller Chryst does not do enough to secure his spot. Side note here but did you know Tennessee has a defensive back named Nigel Warrior? How sick is that?

6. USC vs UNLV

All I have to say is the over/under for times the announcers will mention that JT Daniels is supposed to be a high school senior is 10. I’ve never been more confident betting the over in my life.

7. Auburn vs Washington

Prediction: Auburn wins in a defensive slugfest 17-13 in a game that is essentially a home game for them. Jarrett Stidham’s experience and poise along with Auburn’s defensive line get the job done.

The Overreactions:

Auburn gets a decent amount of hype after this game. Derrick Brown and Deshaun Davis receive quite a bit of compliments as people compliment Auburn’s “SEC caliber” defense. The SEC also gets a lot of compliments as the third or fourth best SEC beats the best Pac 12 team. The fact that it’s basically a home game for Auburn is glossed over. The Pac 12 will take a beating. People will say Washington sucks and question how they can be the class of the Pac 12. The whole conference takes a hit and is called far inferior.

8. Arizona vs BYU

Prediction:

Arizona wins by a score of roughly 59-24. Khalil Tate has an absolute field day.

The Overreactions:

Khalil Tate will mount a September Heisman campaign of his own. He will torch a below average BYU team and do it effortlessly. Tate will be called “Kevin Sumlin’s next Johnny Manziel roughly 25 times throughout the broadcast”. Arizona will get some minor buzz as being the best of the Pac 12. BYU fans will realize that Tanner Mangum (who’s during up for his 15th year of eligibility) still isn’t that great.

9. Louisville vs Alabama

Prediction:

Alabama wins 38-10 and Louisville does not want Bama as they seem to never be in the game. Both Alabama QB’s do well.

The Overreactions:

Alabama’s QB controversy is talked about quite a bit. Announcers will butcher the pronunciation of Tua Tagovailoa. Nick Saban will still refuse to name a starter or even address the issue (I’m still 90% sure he’s using both QB’s solely as a way to stick it to the media). Alabama’s defense will again look quite impressive and media members will talk about how Alabama reloads their defense and does not rebuild. Jawon “Puma” Pass (awesome nickname and also the best last name for a QB ever) while good, will be shown to be not nearly as good as Lamar Jackson.

10. Miami vs LSU

Prediction:

Miami wins 27-6 as their defense completely shuts down LSU’s offense.

The Overreactions:

Miami’s defense gets quite a bit of praise. The game announcers talk about the turnover chain a lot as the turnover chain progressively becomes less and less cool. Malik Rosier does just enough to stave off any questioning of his credentials as a starting QB. Ed Orgeron sees his seat start to get warm (kinda too early but then again they did fire Les Miles 4 games into 2016 so LSU fans and boosters have a quick trigger). Everyone who assumed Joe Burrow would just solve all problems LSU had at QB are proven wrong. While Burrow isn’t horrible, he’s still a low end starter.

11. Virginia Tech vs Florida State

Prediction:

Florida State wins 24-21 in a very tight game.

The Overreactions:

Florida State will be considered “back” (as a Texas fan, this term triggers me to my core). Deondre Francois will receive compliments on his game and about his strides as a leader. Can Akers will look like the beast he is and ESPN will take notice. Jimbo Fisher probably receives criticism for quitting on Florida State also. Virginia Tech doesn’t have much happen to them except for Josh Jackson’s rumored suspension will be brought up a bunch. Fun Fact: this is the first time in 25 years that Virginia Tech’s defense doesn’t have someone with the last name Fuller or Edmunds on it.

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