They say it’s never too late to say sorry, but the Duchess of Rutland has now taken late apologies to extremes.

She has put up a hippy-dippy ‘peace pole’ surrounded by crystals at her grand home to atone for… the Battle of Hastings in 1066.

The original patch of land on which Belvoir Castle sits was born out of ‘conflict’, says its current chatelaine, and she needs to ‘rid it of bad energy’.

That’s because the Duke of Rutland’s ancestor was given the land in Leicestershire after he served as William the Conqueror’s standard-bearer at Hastings.

They say it's never too late to say sorry, but the Duchess of Rutland (pictured) has now taken late apologies to extremes. She has put up a hippy-dippy 'peace pole' surrounded by crystals at her grand home to atone for… the Battle of Hastings in 1066

The original patch of land on which Belvoir Castle sits was born out of 'conflict', says its current chatelaine, and she needs to 'rid it of bad energy'. (Above, a section of the Bayeux Tapestry)

The delightfully dotty Duchess spent a day dancing around a Japanese peace pole last week, sprinkling it with ‘love, positivity, light and energy’ as part of a pagan ritual.

The ceremony, conducted by an Irish Pagan scholar before last week’s New Moon, was described by the Duchess as a ‘holographic synthesis of many of the great lineages and strands of human spiritual teachings’.

It may sound bonkers, but stranger things have happened at Belvoir.

After all, the Duchess lives with both her husband and her lover – Belvoir’s gamekeeper – at the estate.

The delightfully dotty Duchess spent a day dancing around a Japanese peace pole last week, sprinkling it with 'love, positivity, light and energy' as part of a pagan ritual. (Above, Belvoir Castle)

I think the Gallagher family owe me royalties.

Last week I teased Noel’s teenage daughter Anais for being ‘woke-as-a-joke’ – a little phrase I’ve been forced to come up with as celebrity virtue-signalling continues unabated.

Now Anais has made a T-shirt with my slogan emblazoned on it.

Last week I teased Noel Gallagher's teenage daughter Anais (above) for being 'woke-as-a-joke' – a little phrase I've been forced to come up with as celebrity virtue-signalling continues unabated

Now Anais has made a T-shirt with my slogan emblazoned on it - and shared it on Instagram

Sharing the picture on Instagram last week, 19-year-old Anais told followers: ‘If anyone ever was in doubt that I was petty or not here’s your answer. I shall now be rocking a #wokeasajoke T-shirt for the foreseeable future.’

I am flattered she’s such an avid reader… but I’ll be sending her an invoice.

It seems I’m not the only one with a crush on Ellie Lyons (above), Westminster’s super-clever ‘sexy spad’ who I wrote about last week

My lips are sealed, but...

It seems I’m not the only one with a crush on Ellie Lyons, Westminster’s super-clever ‘sexy spad’ who I wrote about last week.

I hear a Tory politician is so enamoured with her that his wife has told him to back off.

Ellie is of course oblivious to his obsession.