‘Allo poppets!!

Sir Nigel Archibald Blogberry here! Marianne and I docked the commvee for some petrol while the kids fetch a cuppa and some take-away. Earlier this year Eliza asked us to install wireless Internet on the old boat. In fact she was rather demanding, although I must say now I quite enjoy being able to stream BBC Radio to Zanzibar while on safari. She also insisted I begin a web journal which sounded like a simply magnificent idea.

So let me tell you about our most recent discovery! Whilst rummaging about in the archives of the Bodleian I had found an old map of labyrinthine catacombs along the banks of the Charles River. So we pipped across the pond to explore the secrets of the old colonies and whatnot. I must say upon our arrival the seafaring natives looked at us a tad queerly, but after I deployed some primitive sign language they seemed to understand and welcome us. Some of them even brought us some terrific whopping rashers of bacon that were simply splendid.

We packed our kit and started exploring the catacombs. I had barely touched pick to whisker before I fell into a great honking cavern. After I got over a slightly embarrassing case of the screaming abdabs, Eliza handed me a lantern and I began peering about.

That’s when I saw them: the most SPLENDIFEROUS cave paintings I have ever seen, complete with ancient inscriptions in a mysterious tongue carved beneath them!

Once, in the distant past, in the ancient land of Beaveria, there were two warring peoples: the people of Pi, and the people of Tau.

For many moons they fought bitterly amongst themselves over how the circumference of a circle might properly be measured and honored.

Until one day a wise old man, Stuartus Schmillius, came down from his home on the mountain top, bearing with him two stone tablets.



“People of Beaveria!” said Schmillius, “It is time for us to cease this battle and live in peace!” He held his tablets aloft, shining in the sun.

“From this day forth, we shall honor both our ways!” proclaimed the old man. “On Pi Day, at Tau Time, our peoples will join together in a celebration of peace, and also math!”

Schmillius planted the tablets into the hillside, where they stand to this very day. Then he sprightly skateboarded away into the horizon.

The people of Beaveria were somewhat puzzled, but thankful for this wisdom. And thereafter they honored Pi Day – 3/14 – at Tau Time – 6:28 PM – as a moment of special significance, as do their descendants to this very day.

And beside this last painting was a final, lengthier message, carved deeply into the rock, as if its creators wanted to make sure it would last long after them.

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I must say I haven’t the foggiest idea what this all means. A dark myth of wizards and warlords? Perhaps a primitive clamor for crops? An unusually dapper vision of the gods and ancients? Alas, we shall never know, as I’m afraid their language is clearly long dead and totally indecipherable, even to a learned expert such as myself.

More’s the pity, but ah well! The tots are back from Tesco and it’s time for us to be Blogberrying about again!

Cheerio!