lindyhopproblems:

mybrainmythoughts:

lindyhopproblems: SUBMISSION …guilty. I’ve done that a few times before. Is it really that annoying? I’ll stop doing that then. (It’s always weird singling one person out of a group to ask to dance though. I’d feel bad for the people I didn’t ask, like, they might think that I like that person better than the rest of them [No, I don’t. It’s probably random.]. That’s why I ask “Would one of you like to dance?” Because that allows anyone who actually feels like dancing to volunteer.)

This was a user submission, so I will not pretend to speak for the person who sent this problem in and for their intentions.

For me, there are a couple of issues at play here:



If I’m mid-conversation with someone, I don’t usually love to be asked to dance by someone else. If the song had started playing and I just had to dance it , then I would have paused my conversation and started looking for a partner. Chances are, if the song has started and I’m still clearly carrying on a conversation, then I don’t particularly want to dance right now and I’d prefer to be asked when I’m less clearly in the middle of something. Exceptions might be made for favorite partners/close friends/etc but that’s a good general expectation for myself.



, then I would have paused my conversation and started looking for a partner. Chances are, if the song has started and I’m still clearly carrying on a conversation, then I don’t particularly want to dance right now and I’d prefer to be asked when I’m less clearly in the middle of something. Exceptions might be made for favorite partners/close friends/etc but that’s a good general expectation for myself. Having someone approach a group that I am part of and asking if “one of us” would like to dance is stressful. What if I really want to but so does someone else and now we are competing for that dance with you to see who can shout it out first?

Alternatively, what if none of us want to dance at that moment, and we have to go down the line saying no? Also awkward.

As a beginner, whenever this happened I compared myself to the other people in the group and if I didn’t feel like I was as good of a dancer, then I wouldn’t jump up to dance with whoever asked because I didn’t really feel like they were asking me and I assumed they probably wanted one of the other people in the group instead.

Ultimately, if you feel like it’s okay to approach the people having a conversation to ask, I’d advocate for asking one of them specifically. If they say no, and the other person doesn’t jump up and ask you, then I would move on and accept that they want to continue talking. Please don’t turn around and ask each person individually in the group if no one offers when the first person declines.

(Just my thoughts here, but I know that they are shared by a whole lot of friends.)