The Lakers' first preseason game tipped off last night, with Kobe Bryant leading the Purple and Gold to a 98-95 victory over the Denver Nuggets. Sounds like a typical Lakers game, right? Check out the box score first.

Gone are the days of Pau Gasol, Metta World Peace, and Derek Fisher. Even familiar faces from last year's struggling squad like Chris Kaman, Jordan Farmar, and Jodie Meeks have parted ways with the Lakers organization. For a finally-healthy Kobe Bryant entering the 19th year of his career, the Lakers appear to be gearing up for the 2014-15 season and a long Western Conference playoff position battle with a team of, well, nobodies.

But if we know The Mamba like we think we know The Mamba, running with a team of flunkies won't phase him a bit. When life hands Kobe lemons, he makes lemonade then practices at 4 a.m. to make sure the next batch tastes even better. Doesn't matter that his point guards are Jeremy Lin and a body that used to house Steve Nash. Doesn't matter that Carlos Boozer is his best low-post threat. Doesn't matter that he knows literally none of their real names. KB is the lead and everyone else is a backup singer at best.

He may not know everyone on the roster, but he'll probably learn who they are eventually. Until he gets those little details down, let's all enjoy Kobe Bryant's Nicknames For His No-Name Teammates.