My wife and I have been together for 17 years, and while the marriage isn't perfect (what marriages are?) we're generally pretty happy. We have two kids together (5M, 3F), and they're the best things in my life. It's also maybe relevant that the first took many years of trying with ivf. The second was more natural - just needed some help from clomid. We both work full time, but I end up doing more of the childcare because my hours are more flexible. Her parents also live in an in-law apartment on our property, and they help take care of the kids from time to time.

Last week, my wife told me that she was pregnant. We haven't been that careful with birth control given our history with fertility. I was overjoyed when I heard - it's a miracle!, but she was not happy, and told me she was thinking about an abortion. I told her that I wanted this child, but that it's her body and obviously I can't make decisions for her or stop her.

Since she told me, though, I've realized that I do't know if I can live with this. I look at my kids and I can't help thinking that there's a third of them right there, but I'm not allowing him to live. I look at her and I feel sick. I talked to her again about it, about my strong feelings against it, and saying that I already loved this child, and she told me I was being manipulative and that I needed to leave her alone to make this choice.

Reddit, help? Do I just have to let it go? I can't stand to touch my wife knowing she's even considering doing this, how do we move on if she does?

tldr: My wife is pregnant with what would be our third child. She wants an abortion, and I'm heartbroken at the idea.