Laverne Cox may grace magazine covers, but outside celebdom there are still pervasive and harmful narratives about trans sexuality that affect us every day. Credit:Getty Despite the recent efforts of paparazzi and policymakers alike to bring transgender people to the forefront of public attention, we still exist as a kind of dirty open secret. Laverne Cox may grace the covers of trendy magazines, but outside the glitter of celebdom there are still pervasive and harmful narratives about trans sexuality that affect us every day, including impacting our love lives. It's important to note that I've been lucky in my own experiences as a queer woman, not being attracted to men in many ways insulates me from the majority of violence that trans women experience at the hands of male partners. Little research exists on how people perceive transgender folk, both as potential partners and in general, but even a quick look through any related comment section or ill-informed blog shows that society has a number of false ideas about us, commonly stemming from a binary and incorrect way of viewing bodies.

Liz Duck-Chong. This idea that keeps appearing is that trans people inherently have something to hide (and therefore something they ought to reveal), a trope that's still commonly played for laughs in comedies. In their minds, Amber Rose didn't just date a man, she dated a transgender man. The use of the label in this way qualifies his maleness as lesser and makes it seem like he is different to other men Rose has dated, which therefore is considered an "outing". In truth, he was simply one of a number of men who've dated Rose in the past, but despite this reality people like us carry the adjective "transgender" as a marker that we're "other", furthering the narrative that we're intrinsically different, and have an obligation to divulge that difference. The term "disclosure" is often used, but the concept that transgender people have to disclose, or "own up" to their histories or the configuration of their bodies is actively harmful. Our genders, whether those differ or align with those we're assigned at birth, deserve recognition and respect from strangers and lovers alike. When I bring new partners home we open a dialogue about our bodies, interests and wants that is ongoing for the length of our relationship, rather than just a single pronouncement. My online dating bios are a part of this; while I mention that I'm trans, any further information becomes a conversation rather than information published out of necessity.

We still exist as a kind of dirty open secret. All our bodies are constantly shifting, growing, ageing, changing; and to think that genitals are the crux of that is frankly unimaginative – like being disappointed the newest iPhone doesn't have the game Snake. It's also important to analyse our preferences in regard to partners. I've had people tell me "I'm just not attracted to trans people", implying either they can recognise us on sight (they can't) or that they've never been attracted to someone before asking for their pronouns. Our preferences are often not an inherent thing, but rather are shaped and formed by views of the society around us and can often reflect the transphobia (and racism) we are exposed to constantly. At no point has it been said that you have to date a transgender person, but trying to figure out if you're attracted to me by imagining my undisclosed potential genitals actually makes you the weird one here.

There's no denying that there still exists a harmful public perception of transgender people, but in reality, dating trans people is no different to dating anyone else. Most of my trans friends are in happy, fulfilling, respectful relationships and while for many of us our histories are personally important, they carry little relevance to our romantic entanglements. People often incorrectly assume that my body or my identity is going to be the biggest hurdle in any relationship, when in reality where we're going to have dinner or if we can be bothered walking an extra 10 minutes for the really good gelato are always more pressing. You can keep your clickbait headlines, maybe just this once I'll say that dating us doesn't live up to the hype.