It's been 18 years since Alan Partridge first mooted the notion of Youth Hostelling with Chris Eubank - and as of last week, the project is a dream no longer.

Hostelworld



Eubank's team-up with Hostelworld is, of course, a deliberate tip of the hat to Steve Coogan's comic creation - but too often the telly schedules are plagued with examples of #AccidentalPartridge.



Behold, 12 shows that sound like they sprang straight from Alan's fertile mind - this little lot are on a par with Inner City Sumo or Arm Wrestling with Chas 'n' Dave.

1. Flockstars

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Celebrity shepherding - Lesley Joseph goes from Birds to sheep and Fazer from N-Dubz lends livestock some street cred.

No-one makes a pun on Amanda Lamb's name, though. Missed opportunity.

2. Gordon Behind Bars



"Cooking in prison" was a format that Alan Partridge actually pitched to Tony Hayers, but it took foul-mouthed foodie Gordon Ramsay to make it a reality.



This Channel 4 show saw inmates at Brixton prison form a 'Bad Boys' Bakery' - sounds like it's in bad taste, but we're assured their lemon treacle slices were delicious.

3. Touch the Truck



Charlie Brooker once branded Touch the Truck one of the worst television shows of all time - and who are we to disagree?



Channel 5's Dale Winton vehicle - pun intended - was a contest to see who could hold onto a stationary truck for the longest, without falling asleep. Not that it mattered - the viewer was always the first to nod off.

4. Hole in the Wall

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Dale Winton - yes, him again - hosted this BBC One take on human Tetris, in which lycra-clad celebrities stretched themselves into unlikely positions to fit the shapes cut out from an advancing wall of polystyrene.

The highlight was Dale bellowing the series' catchphrase, "Bring on the wall!" each week. Flockstars and its "Release the sheep" is nothing but a poor imitation.

5. Naked Jungle



Another Channel 5 gem, this gameshow gave CITV's Jungle Run a nudist twist, with two million morbidly curious viewers tuning in to catch sight of Keith Chegwin's schlong.



Naked Jungle was only ever a one-off - presumably Channel 5 felt Chegwin's talent couldn't extend any further. "It's the worst career move I made in my entire life," he told DS years later. "If I could turn the clock back, I would."

6. Don't Scare the Hare

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In this BBC One misfire, contestants had to complete mental and physical challenges in order to avoid spooking a giant robot hare. A Giant. Robot. Hare.

Yanked from the schedules after just six episodes, we can only guess the pitch meeting for this one was more entertaining than the end product.

7. Top Dog Model



America's Next Top Model meets Cruffs in this fever dream of an ITV2 competition series, narrated by David Walliams and judged by Stacey Solomon.



Top prize for the top pup was a starring role in an ad campaign for Cif PowerPro Naturals. You couldn't make this stuff up.

8. Chris Barrie's Massive Engines



No sniggering at the back. Barrie filled time in between series of Red Dwarf by shooting this 2004 documentary series, which saw our man get steamy with locomotives and devote an entire episode to pumps.



Straight faces, people.

9. Chris Tarrant: Extreme Railways



Unlike much of the material that propped up his classic Tarrant on TV, there wasn't much that was 'extreme' about Chris Tarrant taking scenic rail-rides across the globe.



See also the charming but rather docile Extreme Fishing With Robson Green.

10. Danny Dyer: I Believe in UFOs

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Before he made a sensible segue into EastEnders, Danny Dyer came face-to-face with 'evidence' of alien incursions in 2010 and it freaked his nut right out, bruv.

"My brain is trying to compute what I've just seen there!" Dyer exclaims after watching grainy footage of a supposed E.T. encounter. Viewer reaction to I Believe in UFOs wasn't dissimilar.

11. Abz on the Farm



If you thought Abz Fest was the strangest thing that the former 5ive guy had been affiliated with, you'd be dead wrong, sir.



Country Strife: Abz on the Farm is a thing that's actually happening right now on BBC Two, and follows the former pop star and his partner as they work a farm in rural Wales.

Example episode description: "Abz befriends a croissant-eating cockerel."

12. Robert's Web



Peep Show comic Robert Webb hosts a topical comedy show about the internet.



D'you think they came up with the name first and worried about the rest later? We think they might have, you know.

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