Edibles are a fickle beast. You eat some innocuous looking morsel, forget all about it, and two hours later you find yourself standing in the kitchen with a garlic press in your hand and a vague sense of purpose. Except that you have no garlic in your kitchen. And you’re not cooking anything. But those holes, those holes – like a honeycomb. Could bees make a life for themselves inside my garlic press? Like a bee studio with a collapsible sofa? Anyway, these Moonman’s Mistress Cosmic Cacao cookies certainly did the trick. Bonus points for their low-glycemic ingredients — as a Paleo, bio-hackery kind of guy, they had me at ‘arrowroot flour’. I want THC in my body; not sugar. I’m very particular about these things. These cookies had the Paleo trifecta of dark chocolate, (weed infused) coconut oil and peppermint. It reminded me of a spherical Thin Mint, without the thinness. A Girthy Mint, if you will. In terms of potency, these contain 10mg per serving. The box contained three cookies, but was listed as having only 2.5 servings (ARE YOU MAKING ME DO MATH, WEED COOKIES?) So I did some quadratic formula and Riemann sums and came up with a per cookie potency of about 8mg. I ate two. For posterity, I took the following notes once the Cosmic Cacao had taken effect:

“The tangy and slightly strangled delight of a sour pickle.. Trailing off into watching Knicks nostalgia supercuts on YouTube’

I think the takeaway here is that these cookies activate the senses, and allow you to approach your old passions with a renewed vigor, even if those passions include standing alone in your kitchen and hypnotizing yourself with tools from the utility drawer.

Russ Gooberman