Apples to Apples

I'm like a modern-day Joan of Arc, for Starbucks.

Listen, you are a good friend and I trust you, but know this: My computer isn't a Mac at all. I've disguised a Lenovo ThinkPad to look like a Mac, so I can hang out and work on my screenplay at Starbucks all day just like everybody else. Shhhhh…keep your voice down. There's a barista right behind you.

You see, I didn't want to blow a bunch of money on that name brand when I could get similar performance for a fraction of the price. So it's not exactly top of the line, but it gets the job done. All I had to do was add a faux-aluminum casing, an iconic logo, and BINGO: I'm in.

Of course, all this subterfuge comes at a terrible personal cost. Do you know what it's like living beneath the pressure of a constant lie? At any moment my cover could get blown and I'd be cast out of this and every coffee shop in the city: A pariah. So please, don't tell a soul.

Back to top