My mother, Esmé Osler, who has died aged 92, made Britain her home after spending her youth in Japanese-occupied Singapore.

Born in Miri, Sarawak, in British North Borneo (now part of Malaysia), Esmé was the second of three children of Walter Roberts and Hilda (nee Weston), an Anglo-Indian couple from Madras, India. Walter worked on the oilfields, but when he was made redundant Hilda returned to Madras with the children to live with their grandmother until Walter secured a job in Singapore, where the family then settled.

Esmé studied at St Margaret’s school in Singapore, where she took her school certificate at the early age of 14. Weeks later Singapore was invaded by Japan and the schools did not reopen. Esmé had to find work and, by learning Japanese, secured an extra ration of rice. But she was frequently sick with malaria and suffered severe undernourishment. After the occupation she carried on working in order to help with the family income.

While working as a shorthand-typist for the RAF, she met Maurice Osler, a British telephone engineer who had been posted to Singapore on national service. They decided to marry, but the idea was initially opposed by Maurice’s mother, who wrote to his commanding officer.

Esmé Osler, left, with campaigners for the unemployed and the prospective parliamentary candidate for Hemel Hempstead, Paul Boateng, right, in 1983

As a result, it seems, Maurice was transferred to Iraq, but the relationship endured and once Maurice reached 21, he managed to get himself transferred back to Singapore. Eventually he had to return to Britain and a year later, in 1949, Esmé sailed over to join him in London. Five days after her arrival they were married.

Their wedding in Kings Langley, Hertfordshire, attracted considerable attention, partly due to the bride’s elegant silk gown, tiara and lace train – unusual in an age of rationing – but largely because it was a “mixed marriage”. Esmé found work as a shorthand-typist, and after her two children were born she spent some years at home, returning to work part-time for the Commission for the New Towns and living in Hemel Hempstead in Hertfordshire.

For many years Esmé was active, with Maurice, in the Hemel Hempstead Anti-Racist Council and in a variety of local church and community activities, including teaching English to women from Pakistan and volunteering at a centre for unemployed people.

She loved music and dancing, taking classes in ballroom and tap, and studied many languages, including Japanese. International visitors, whether friends or strangers, were always welcome in the family home. In retirement she and Maurice travelled extensively.

Maurice died in 2006. Esmé is survived by her children, Charles and me, and three grandchildren, Chay, Louis and Tahnee.