Most mornings, as I drag my increasingly malfunctioning body out of bed, I glance out a window to catch sight of a poor soul nearing collapse on the jogging trail.

Losing weight is a horrible process – torture, actually. And though wholesome living isn’t painless, nearly everyone understands what’s involved.

Thus, with great curiosity, I turned my attention to the Metro Denver Health and Wellness Commission’s brand-new plan to tackle our supposed obesity epidemic in Colorado.

Would they be tackling my carcass as I head into a Burger King for some tasty trans-fatty French fries, I wondered? Because, other than that, a gaggle of bureaucrats isn’t going to accomplish much on this front.

“We’ve all read that Colorado rates high on the ‘healthy’ scale, but our communities’ waistlines are expanding at the same rate or faster as the rest of the nation – with 55 percent of metro Denver adults overweight or obese, and one in three area children ages 2 to 14 at risk of becoming overweight,” says Lt. Gov. Barbara O’Brien, who’s spearheading this project.

Communities don’t have waistlines, actually. Individuals do. And the truth is, almost every child is at risk of becoming overweight if their parents allow them to sit on a couch and play video games all day. And the vast majority of parents know this – whether they do the right thing or not.

Nonetheless, O’Brien, well-meaning as she is, has absolutely no business telling us what to eat or how much to exercise.

Theresa Donahue, executive director of the wellness commission, tells me, “We’re here to work on changing settings and offering organizational support. We’re here to make it easier for people to make healthy choices. We’re not here to blame people.”

Why not blame people? Whose fault is it? Yours? And it is as easy to find an apple in a supermarket as the potato chip aisle. (Or so I’m told.)

“To some extent they do know an apple is good for you,” explains Donahue. “It may not be easy for them to find during the course of a day. There are not that many options.”

There are thousands of options. Hundreds of thousands.

Even in a fast-food restaurant, a consumer can make more prudent choices. And most Coloradans realize this. In fact, the commission itself states that in metro Denver, nearly 70 percent of survey participants claimed they exercised every day or at least three times a week.

Now, nearly 30 percent of metro Denver respondents indicated that people prefer “less-healthful foods.” And that’s because, almost always, less-healthful food tastes a whole lot better. Duh.

In the end, the wellness commission has a noble goal. The problem is that when citizens are slow to react, health zealots begin to concoct ways to coerce individuals to adapt a lifestyle they’ve chosen for us.

Take, for instance, Colorado’s Blue Ribbon Commission for Health Care Reform – which features many of the same players as the wellness commission. Right now, this group is putting together a health care plan for Coloradans.

One of the plans moving forward includes a provision that states, “… The most effective ways to modify health behavior consist of applying ‘sin taxes.”‘

Of course, there is no credible proof that “sin taxes” – extra taxes on unhealthy foods, in this case – will modify behavior. None.

Imagine, though, if a government commission was looking into ways to modify the types of things you said. Or modify your reading habits. Or, even, modify your sexual habits.

We would be outraged.

Worse, a “sin tax” on foods not only punishes the “guilty.” If, for instance, you pick up a Twinkie after running a marathon, Colorado would try to “modify” your behavior. (Orwell would be proud).

“No. We’re not talking about mandates,” says Donahue, of the wellness commission. “We want to get out there, through local chambers of commerce, and start to get the message out about a healthy bottom line and healthy employees – things like … walking meetings in the office … 15-minute walking breaks …”

That’s good to know. Though, if my boss ever asks me to take a “walking meeting,” I’ll know exactly whom to blame.

David Harsanyi’s column appears Monday and Thursday. Reach him at 303-954-1255 or dharsanyi@denverpost.com.