SAN FRANCISCO (AP) – In a surprise re-branding move, the most-searched web reference page in the world, ‘Wikipedia,’ announced that it has officially changed the site’s name to “The Memory Hole”.

Anastasia Tremaine, the chairwoman of the Wikimedia Foundation – owner and operator of the Wikipedia site – explained the reasoning behind the name change which took many users by surprise.

“No offense to [Wikipedia co-founder] Jimmy Wales,” said Tremaine, “but everyone agrees that ‘Wikipedia’ is probably the dumbest name for anything on the internet since ‘weblog’ lost its first two letters. I mean, ‘pedia’ means having to do with little kids, and ‘wiki’ sounds like that annoying robot from the Buck Rogers TV show. You would not believe how many inquiries I get every day from people looking for robots for little kids. Geez! Buy a Furby and leave me alone, people! So we talked to our marketing people and told them we wanted something that didn’t remind people of chattering animatronic nightmare fuel. Something warm and comforting.”

“They came back with ‘memory’ – which reminds us of grandma’s cookies, walks on the beach, or our first Antifa rally – and ‘whole,’ which means complete,” Tremaine said. “And since we’re the ultimate repository of human knowledge, it makes sense our name means ‘whole memory’. Although for marketing reasons, we put a little Yoda grammar on it, and then for trademarking purposes we made the ‘w’ both silent and invisible. Marketing genius!”

“Also,” continued Tremaine, “we want our name to help convince people that, when they come to The Memory Hole, they’re going to get the ‘whole’ truth. And current truth, too. For example, we’re making a special effort to make our collection of right-wing authors more congruent to current truth. Which currently is that such authors – if they exist, which they probably actually don’t – can’t meet our infallible standard of group consensus. As such, they certainly have no place up on our front page. So down The Memory Hole they’ll go into obscurity and non-existence. Sarah Hoyt? Michael Z. Williamson? Tom Kratman? John Ringo? Brad Torgersen?Never heard of them. And YOU’VE never heard of them, either. Poof! All gone! That is the current truth. You want the old, inconvenient truth? Try Infogalactic. I’ve heard they’re years behind the truth curve.”

Asked whether she had any reservations about the new name’s possible negative connotations of repressive censorship as portrayed in George Orwell’s novel ‘1984,’ Tremaine looked puzzled, then searched for ‘1984’ on The Memory Hole. “Not here.” she said. “I think this ‘novel’ you speak of never really existed and was something you just completely made up. After all, facts without a consensus of sources do not have sufficient current truth value to justify our documentary resource expenditure. All doubleplus untruths are subject to speedy deletion.”

As of this writing, the current truth on The Memory Hole is that “the page ‘IMAO.US’ does not exist.”

—–

< “Fight for $15!” Shouts Liberal Who’s Never Had to Meet a Payroll or Turn a Profit

Like this: Like Loading...