DEAN STEBBING: Died with the sexual violation charge still against him.

A blindfolded sex adventure with a mystery "woman" ended in shock for a young Wellington man – who removed his mask to find a tall man.

The distressed 19-year-old later told police that, until he slipped off the blindfold as he was leaving the eleventh-floor room at the Bolton Hotel in Wellington, he believed his tryst had been with a woman called Sam whom he met on Facebook.

Police investigated and found that the man who hired the room at the five-star hotel on May 17 had been a guest there about 300 times.

Charged with sexual violation under the name Dean Alehana Tefono, he was better known as Dean Alexander Stebbing, a young Ngati Tuwharetoa leader who died last week in Taupo. He was reported to have had a heart attack.

Although still in his 30s, Stebbing had already held influential iwi positions and at the time of his death he worked for Contact Energy with the title Kaawai Rautaki (Strategic Partnerships). He was the first person to have the position and had been appointed last August to help the company build partnerships with iwi. He had previously been chief executive of Ngati Tuwharetoa Fisheries Charitable Trust.

Stebbing died with the charge against him in Wellington District Court unresolved. A jury trial had been planned.

Contact Energy refused to comment on Stebbing's charges, character or role in the company. A spokeswoman said: "It was a private matter."

Witness statements filed in court said a very upset young man had gone to Wellington Central police station just after 11pm on May 17.

He told police he had met someone on Facebook whom he thought was a woman. They arranged to meet at the hotel and he was to wear a blindfold so he could not see "her" perform a sex act on him.

As he was leaving the room he took off the blindfold and discovered "she" was a he.

Hotel staff described Stebbing as being just over 6ft tall (more than 1.82m) and of large build. He was back at the hotel on June 7 when police swooped. A black sleeping blindfold was found in his suitcase.

The Bolton Hotel's general manager Mark Angus would not comment on the hotel's involvement in the police case.

The next day police also searched the Taupo home where he lived with his mother. A detective said 21 pairs of men's underpants found in a drawer were in an assorted range of sizes.

In another drawer was a uniformly sized set of underpants. Police also found a green blindfold and what was described in court documents as pornographic publications.

NetSafe chief executive Martin Cocker said the internet meant people developed relationships they felt comfortable with quite quickly.

"People do tend to get swept up in romantic opportunities," he said.

It also enabled a wide net to be cast but when the relationship moved from online to a personal meeting, safety had to be given careful thought.

netsafe.org.nz can give advice on internet-related problems. Suspected crimes can be reported on theorb.org.nz