As someone whose friends are all obsessed with the show (personally, I think it’s fine—adequate) and has worked in bookstores since 2003, I’ve heard every theory and potential character arc out there for both mediums. Now, as we approach the final few episodes of Game of Thrones and the Battle of Winterfell is done, I want to give my reasons on why every remaining significant character in Westeros should die.

Jon Snow

This guy has already given one life to the cause, but thankfully he has one more to offer. Jon is the most likeable character in the entire saga, so it will be fitting to see him die in the last episode. He’s also the most boring character in the epic, so I’m not sure we need him now that Winterfell is safe.

There’s no reason to keep him around, as he has no ambition and probably won’t stake a claim to the throne, even though he found out about his new family lineage. This former-bastard feels like he really just wants to be left alone and have sex with his Aunt, but I can’t imagine Jon won’t do something stupidly heroic and die in one fight or another. He would probably be the best person to be king, which means he’s the last person that will get it. We all know good-hearted people shouldn’t play the game because they just end up as martyrs.

Daenerys Targaryen

Dany started out young and inexperienced as a ruler and I’m not honestly sure she has learned much. I kept thinking she would develop more as a character and give me reason to support her claim to the throne, but without the dragons I have no reason to cheer for Khaleesi. Watching her talk to Sansa in episode two of this season made me realize how unequipped she really is to lead, or maybe just how much I don’t care whether she lives or dies.

It’s a matter of hubris, I think. Even some of my friends have given up hope on her and wouldn’t mind seeing the Mother of Dragons meet a timely demise at the hands of the true king, which I had hoped would be the Night King. Though many gave Dany leeway originally because of her bad situation in the beginning, I don’t think there are enough fans out there that need to see her dreams come to fruition over those of us who wouldn’t mind her coming to a sudden end.

Cersei Lannister

Do I even need to address this? Cersei is the character we love to hate and there is a part of everyone that would be okay if she won, but she has to die. After everything the queen has done, all of the children she lost, and blowing up a part of King’s Landing just to take out a small group that opposed her, Cersei reminded everyone that they needed to be angry when she enlisted Bronn to make sure both of her traitorous brothers had no chance of living through the show.

For that very reason it only makes sense that Jaime or Tyrion should choke the life out of her in what is guaranteed to be one of the most satisfying deaths in the series since Littlefinger had his throat slit. The queen’s death will most likely be one of the last before the final credits roll, but I require a few scenes to savor it, please.

Tyrion Lannister

He drinks and he knows things, but Tyrion has also been screwing up a lot lately and not living up to his reputation as the smartest person in the room. Even Daenerys had to tell him that. A friend once told me he thought that Tyrion would be the comic relief of the show or his character would be nothing other than short jokes, but he may honestly be the most well-written and introspective part of many scenes.

His recent chat by the fireplace has shown how much of an inspiration the littlest Lannister can truly be, and that means he can’t survive this final battle. His episode in the crypt, ready to die, makes me think he has a new outlook and maybe a change of heart. Tyrion needs to die in some dramatic moment where everyone tries to save him but fails, making him the inspiration (or Coulson, for a comparison) of this final season. I’m mostly just sad we will never get a dwarf zombie now.

Sansa Stark

I have to say that I like Sansa a lot and she has grown a ton since the show started, but of all the Stark children she has the most to prove. The Lady of Winterfell said it herself, she’s useless in some situations—which means she may do something stupid to try and be useful. If that wasn’t enough of a reason to think she’ll die horribly, Lady Stark has also been pretty upfront about being displeased with Jon and his new lover, the wannabe ruler, putting her at odds with others unnecessarily.

Sansa had her big moment against Littlefinger last season and I’m going to be upset if at least one of the siblings doesn’t die. So, maybe she gets one last hoorah and then a quick demise to send her on the way. Something elegant befitting of her station, like poison or public execution like her father.

Arya Stark

This little girl has been through hell and proven herself multiple times, and perhaps symbolically showed her womanhood in the recent sex scene, but we all forgot that after she shanked the Night King.

I feel like her story arc has come to a satisfying close. Arya’s list is infamous now and she may be the North’s best weapon if espionage is involved. She is going to be a major player in any fight and constantly at risk of receiving a life-threatening injury or having to sacrifice herself for a sibling. I also think the Faceless Ones may still be a bit sour with her, and now that she has found revenge for her family, maybe it’s time another assassin takes her off the board. I thought the Night King was going to make short work of her, so now we need a surprise player to make the move.

Bran Stark

Here we have a classic science fiction trope of a McGuffin character who knows everything and seems to have a big part to play other than just sitting under a tree. Following this idea, he has to be proven wrong and die horribly for either trusting in the other heroes or himself. With the undead army disposed of now, who knows how he’ll die, but I hope they parade his body around or post it somewhere as kind of a callback to what Theon said he did to him in season two.

Before he goes though—possibly by his own doing—the wise one will most likely be imparting one last piece of wisdom or have had some plan that was set into motion ages ago, but letting him live would be a mistake. To quote the Three Eyed Raven: nevermore.

Jaime Lannister

I have always said that anyone who was given the title of Kingslayer—whether he wanted it or not—would eventually be slain. It isn’t just poetic, he kind of deserves it. Another character that has made a drastic change, the only thing he has left to do is give his life in a selfless act, cementing him as the secret hero of the show. Once he knighted Brienne, I knew his time was close to an end, as the moment was too touching and he has almost outlived his usefulness.

Since he wasn’t fed to the undead in the last battle, I just need Jaime to live long enough to fulfill a certain prophecy and strangle Cersei. Once that is done he can have a dignified death, most likely being stabbed just as he did to The Mad King or maybe in a duel. He can die honorably, but not gloriously.

Ser Brienne of Tarth

No one I’ve spoken to has any hope of the newly-knighted Brienne surviving any of this, but maybe that is what makes her right for a surprise triumphant finish. Truthfully though, she’s just too damn happy. The Lady of Tarth has been given the honor she wanted and has the respect of her peers. The smile she had says it all. She looked so close to biting it at Winterfell multiple times, so it’s time for a tragic death with something a bit gruesome, like losing an arm or leg beforehand, giving the brave warrior one final strike against enemy forces before being violently destroyed. It’ll be messy, but she can look like a badass just before it all ends.

Samwell Tarly and Gilly

Honestly, you two are too pure for this world, which is as good as any reason why you should probably die. Sam was so close to biting it in the last episode if there weren’t numerous people around to save him. I don’t think either character has shown why they would make a good parent and I hate the idea of Sam’s glass ceiling being Head Librarian at The Citadel for whoever takes over. Even in a time of peace he feels unfit for Westeros. He has no father or brother to go back to now and I can’t see him being a competent lord. The truth is, Sam needs to die because his death will either be deeply sad or tremendously funny.

Ser Davos Seaworth

Davos is one of my favorite characters, but he keeps talking about how much he’s not a good fighter, which means he’s going to be extremely lucky or die horribly. He needs to earn that title of knight somehow, and the best answer is a heroic death. I’m thinking of something like Sean Bean’s character from Fellowship of the Ring where he gets thirty arrows shot into him or about ten spears and just as he slips away he can muse about this being the battle he wasn’t lucky enough to survive.

The Mountain

This man is already dead. He’s a zombie. My hope was that the Night King would have taken control of him for that reason and the heroes have to end up taking him down. Maybe he can still go a bit crazy and kill some smaller characters in a rampage before his demise. I know everyone wants to see Cleganebowl with The Hound, but we are supposed to hate this man from the beginning, so any remotely satisfying death will get the fans cheering. Bonus points if he gets his head crushed like a grape.

The Hound

The good brother is also doomed. Many I’ve spoken to feel he is woefully disposable. Whether it is in the Battle of Winterfell or against his brother, this ends with him dead, finally finishing what the fire started. I feel he needs to have that confrontation with his blood though for his arc to be finished and I doubt anyone would argue that seeing that would be worth him somehow surviving until the bitter end. This man has had a tough life. I need one last great fight and then you have my permission to die, probably by the two of them killing each other.

Varys

Varys was told he was going to die, and I can totally see it. The Spider has grown a bit boring to me as of late and I would love to see him go out with a slit throat and a long and painful process, much like Littlefinger. I used to hear how nothing could happen in Westeros without one of those two knowing about it, so a similar death feels appropriate. For a last moment twist, though, he could turn on Dany and cost her the throne, making this particular murder feel even better.

Euron Greyjoy

What an absolute bastard. This is the character I think we can all agree has to die horribly. I think this was even more enforced after he doubled down on being a douche and Cersei rewarded him with sex. Sure, it would be nice if Yara killed him personally, but I’ve never thought someone needed to be a dragon snack more than this man. No death by fire, just the gnashing of teeth and blood. Spit the bones out at sea for a pirate’s funeral.

Bronn

This fan favorite character needs to live so he can get his castle, which is probably why he won’t. He’s not necessarily too good or evil, more like a grey mercenary who does his own thing. That’s probably why he’s so cool.

That also means in his final moments he will most likely step off that path and go one way or the other, actually trying to kill someone he shouldn’t or trying to save them. He lives by the sword and he should die by it, but this one needs to count. This isn’t the character to die in a big battle, but rather a giant public demonstration.

Tormund Giantsbane

Seeing how little screen time he got in the last big battle, I have to imagine he’s doomed. We can end with Brienne finally giving him a kiss or maybe even letting the man kill another giant? Too bad there are no elephants.

He’s a burly brute that is probably stupid enough to try and take on The Mountain or go in swinging against the entire Golden Company. It’ll take something special to bring him down, but that will just make for a good death. Maybe he deserves a decapitation so we can see him die with that goofy smile still on his face.

Gendry

I need Gendry to live because he’s actually my pick to take the throne. I’ve been rooting for him ever since he started rowing and now that he has made it to the last season, I’m convinced Gendry can do it. The problem here is that Game of Thrones is meant to crush souls and this is where mine is done in. After his previous romantic (or simply sensual?) moment with Arya, he can probably die happy and that is probably the better play for the story. Give my dude a quick death, nothing too dramatic.

Grey Worm and Missandei

Probably the best and most clean love story the show has offered to date. These two didn’t belong in Winterfell and would rather be anywhere else on a honeymoon of sorts, but I’m guessing Dany will send them to King’s Landing. They both owe their queen, but is it worth giving their lives up for, especially if they can’t have children to continue their line? The best possible outcome is that they have to watch each other die and get to reflect on how they should have run off when they had the chance.

Yara Greyjoy

I know her ass went back to the Iron Isles in a veiled attempt at long-term strategy, but it’d be a shame not to do something with Yara. Now that she’s out of sight and out of mind, maybe this pirate is the perfect candidate to come in and help rescue the Khaleesi’s forces at the last possible minute. She can still do this and be Euron’s last victim. He could split her in half with that axe of his and she’d still die having the biggest balls in all of Westeros.

Podrick Payne

I did not expect him to live after he showed off that he was good, loyal, and an amazing singer, but here we are. Podrick has to die eventually and the odds of that are good since he keeps following Brienne into combat. He’s such a lovable character that I find it difficult not to see him getting trampled or hanged from a wall, something disrespectful that will leave a bad image in the minds of all the fans who loved him for so long.

Qyburn

Not only does this man have the best name in Game of Thrones, but he might have been the most effective person to hold the position of Hand in the entire show as well. With that said, he’s a schemer and I realized he was way too dangerous to leave alive after he brought The Mountain back. His death is the easiest one though. Qyburn gave Bronn a crossbow, and that is the best tool for his demise, but may be executed by Tyrion for a little Hand-on-Hand violence.

Robin Arryn

I have no clue what this kid is doing right now or if he will show back up, but I’ve been waiting so many years for him to get thrown out of the Moon Door or something equivalent to that. Please don’t let me down.

MORE THRONES:

– Everything You Missed In Game Of Thrones: Season 8 – Episode 3

– 11 Best Moments From Game of Thrones Season 8: Episode 3

Who Died In Game of Thrones: Season 8 – Episode 3?