The Shiv Sena, hitherto the poster boy of ultra-chauvinistic, extreme right wing politics, may now reinvent itself as a secular party. This comes in the wake of Uddhav Thackeray’s strident criticism of PM Narendra Modi, which has won him plaudits from the secular camp. Titans of secularism such as Nitish Kumar and Mani Shankar Aiyar are now rooting for the Shiv Sena chief to lead the forces of secularism in Maharashtra and keep the communal BJP at bay.

Nitish said he never realized that beyond Uddhav’s facade of vulgar Maratha regionalism, there lurked a highly sensitive, progressive, inclusive, secular soul that has now come to the fore. “Uddhav reminds me of myself. After years of being in a cosy arrangement with the NDA, he walks out. Why? To preserve Maharashtra’s secular fabric, to prevent that man whose name I won’t take from gaining an upper hand. He’s one of us, after all,” Nitish raved about his new found buddy. He added that the need of the hour is a maha secular alliance comprising SS, Congress, NCP, MNS and independents to form a non BJP government in Maharashtra. “I know these Chanakya guys are predicting an outright majority for BJP but they may yet be wrong. Let’s not throw in the towel as yet.”

Nitish said Uddhav’s overwhelming secularism, represented by opposition to Modi, now outweighs his other faults, such as targeting immigrants. “The politics of secularism is not easy. One has to overlook these minor faults in pursuit of the larger goal of secularism. After all, I made up with Lalu, didn’t I?” Nitish reasoned.

From the Congress side, Mani Shankar Aiyar is championing Uddhav’s case. “Initially, I thought he was a bloody lumpen fascist of the most vile kind,” Mani told The Unreal Times, “but after that chaiwallah remark [editor: Uddhav had said that if a chaiwallah can become a PM, why can’t he become a CM], I consider him up there with Rahul baba.”

The NCP for its part has deputed Rahul Navlekar to help Uddhav Thackeray learn the idiom of the secular camp and ease the transition from extreme right of centre to slightly left of centre politics.