Sergio Agüero has made up his mind, reports the Sun, and he’s decided to join Real Madrid at the end of the season. Now all he needs is for the Spanish giants to bid “over £60m” for a player who can’t reliably get into the Manchester City team, used to play for Real’s big local rivals, and will be 29 by the time the transfer window next opens. So good luck with that, Sergio. In many ways City may be more concerned at the prospect of losing one of their youngest forwards, with rumours swirling that 16-year-old Jadon Sancho —who has looked ever so good since they stole him from Watford’s youth system a couple of years back — might now be stolen from their own youth system by Arsenal, thereby continuing his own personal ring of repeated juvenile player-theft.

Across Manchester José Mourinho is polishing his latest medal and already plotting his next transfer moves, announcing at Wembley that United “will be ready in July to open the door for two or three good players” because “we need the next push” and handily refraining from identifying any targets, thus giving the nation’s rumour-mongers carte blanche for several months of unabashed creativity.

But why go to the trouble of inventing new rumours when we can simply repeat old ones? Like teabags, the Mill has found that rumours can be reused several times with only minimal impact on their effectiveness, but it’s unusual for one to go as long as this between outings. It has, you see, been fully three-and-a-half years since we first suggested that Arsenal or Tottenham might sign Paris St-Germain’s Adrien Rabiot, on the day in October 2013 that we led with the possibility of Diego Costa joining Chelsea. And here we are again, today’s Mirror linking the very same clubs with the very same player. A lot has happened since, obviously, Rabiot spending most of that time packing his trophy cabinet with shiny stuff, being as he is ludicrously garlanded for a mere 21-year-old, burdened with four Ligue 1 winners’ medals, two French Cup gongs and three French league cup baubles. Apparently he might now, finally, be tempted to hoover up domestic honours in a different country. “I am under contract until 2019 and I am in no rush,” he said. “But if there are offers from big clubs, they obviously have to be considered.”

Everton believe they have moved to the front of the disorderly queue forming for Burnley’s Michael Keane, on whom they are ready to lavish £28m come the summer. Meanwhile, about £50m would be enough to get you Alexandre Lacazette, author of 21 goals in 21 league games for Lyon so far this season, and Arsenal, Liverpool and Tottenham are all tempted to pay it.

And finally, 21-year-old Brazilian Walace Souza Silva has got English scouts all excited, just a month after moving from Gremio to Hamburg for £8.5m. Apparently the defensive midfielder has since been scouted by Stoke, Everton and Leicester, and Hamburg’s bean-counters are rubbing their hands with glee and ready to do business at £17m.

