UPDATE, 11/13/14, 3pm EST: You didn’t really think the panel voted Manowar as #1, did you? Find out who the real #1 is here!

Original Post:

MetalSucks recently polled more than a hundred of metal’s most revered musicians, critics, journalists, artists, publicists, and industry insiders to find out which 25 bands represent the very BEST in the history of metal. Today we conclude our countdown with the one, the only…

Manowar

111 Votes

1,982 Points

Manowar’s placement atop this list by an overwhelming majority vote seemed pre-destined: the Auburn, NY quartet is, inarguably, the most metal metal band of all time.

Just how metal are Manowar?

Manowar are so metal that in bar fights they can only bitch slap their opponents, because hitting them with a closed fist is the legal equivalent of beating someone with an aluminum baseball bat.

Manowar are so metal that they piss hot molten lead and shit lug nuts.

Manowar are so metal that the first thing they do every morning is lather themselves in WD-40.

Manowar are so metal that if they go out in the rain, they rust.

Manowar are so metal that if they go to the beach, they can’t go into the ocean because they’ll sink right to the bottom.

Manowar are so metal that they got their original record deal after they were discovered during a mining expedition.

Manowar are so metal that they readily lose electrons to form positive ions, and if you were to put them in a room with a non-metal band, they’d form an ionic bond.

Manowar are so metal that they’re listed on the periodic table under Group IA, because they’re the most active metal.

MANOWAR. ARE. METAL!!!!!!!!!!!

THE REST OF THE LIST:

#2 — Iron Maiden (86 Votes, 1,635 Points)

#3 — Slayer (85 Votes, 1,571 Points)

#4 — Metallica (84 Votes, 1,486 Points)

#5 — Pantera (65 Votes, 1,052 Points)

#6 — Judas Priest (61 Votes, 997 Points)

#7 — Megadeth (64 Votes, 913 Points)

#8 — Death (57 Votes, 778 Points)

#9 — Motorhead (42 Votes, 622 Points)

#10 – Carcass (42 Votes, 516 Points)

#11 – Cannibal Corpse (40 Votes, 510 Points)

#12 – Anthrax (42 Votes, 497 Points)

#13 – Sepultura (41 Votes, 444 Points)

#14 – Dio (33 Votes, 433 Points)

#15 – Mercyful Fate (31 Votes, 419 Points)

#16 – Morbid Angel (33 Votes, 406 Points)

#17 – Meshuggah (32 Votes, 377 Points)

#18 – Opeth (30 Votes, 364 Points)

#19 – Testament (33 Votes, 347 Points)

#20 – At The Gates (28 Votes, 331 Points)

#21 – AC/DC (17 Votes, 313 Points)

#22 – Celtic Frost (24 Votes, 310 Points)

#23 – Ozzy Osbourne (21 Votes, 290 Points)

#24 – Napalm Death (22 Votes, 278 Points)

#25 – Lamb of God (29 Votes, 277 Points)

THE ILLUSTRIOUS PANEL OF VOTERS:

Chris Alfano – East of the Wall, Gear Gods

Paul Allender – White Empress, ex-Cradle of Filth

Rob Arnold – The Elite, ex-Chimaira, ex-Six Feet Under

Alan Averill (aka A.A. Nemtheanga) – Primordial

Chuck B.B. – Artist

Matt Bachand – Shadows Fall

Micke Berg – Below

Chuck Billy – Testament

Randy Blythe – Lamb of God

Paul Booth – Last Rites Tattoo and Art Gallery

Jake Bowen – Periphery

Terry Butler – Obituary

Liz Ciavarella-Brenner – Publicist, Earsplit PR

Blake Charlton – Ramming Speed

Richard Christy – Charred Walls of the Damned, ex-Death, ex-Iced Earth, ex-Control Denied, The Howard Stern Show

Monte Conner – President, Nuclear Blast Entertainment

Bruce Corbitt – Rigor Mortis, Warbeast

Doc Coyle – ex-God Forbid

Sergeant D. – MetalSucks, Stuff You Will Hate

Topon Das – Fuck the Facts, Merdarahta

Anso DF – MetalSucks

Peter Dolving – Rosvo, ex-The Haunted

Ryan J. Downey – Superhero Artist Management

Sacha Dunable – Intronaut, Bereft, Dunable Guitars

Vince Edwards – Head of Publicity, Metal Blade Records

Excretakano – MetalSucks

Exmortus

Extreme Management Group

D.X. Ferris – Slayer Scholar , MetalSucks

Ryan Fleming – Black Table

Jon Freeman – Publicist, Freeman Promotions

Matthew Friesen – Culted

Ville Friman – Insomnium

Mike Gitter – Senior Director of A&R, Razor & Tie

Frank Godla – Metal Injection, Meek is Murder

Mike Greene – Director of Digital Marketing, Razor & Tie

Shane Handel – Set and Setting

Jeff Hodak – Head of Sales, Razor & Tie

Terence Hannum – Locrian

John Hoffman – Weekend Nachos

Mark Hunter – ex-Chimaira

Don Jamieson – That Metal Show

Daniel Jansson – Culted

John Jarvis – Pig Destroyer, Fulgora

Gaz Jennings – Death Penalty, ex-Cathedral

Patrik Jensen – The Haunted

Rick Jimenez – Extinction A.D.

Kassa – Below

Mirai Kawashima – Sigh

“Grim” Kim Kelly – MetalSucks

Zeena Koda

Erik Kluiber – Gypsyhawk

Eyal Levi – Unstoppable Killing Machine, Dååth

Jason Lekberg – IKILLYA

Adam Lindmark – Morbus Chron

Ryan Lipynsky – Serpentine Path, Unearthly Trance, The Howling Wind

Jonah Livingston – Ramming Speed

Bob Lugowe – Director of Promotions/Marketing, Relapse Records, Brutal Panda Records

James Malone – Arsis, Necromancing the Stone

Jose Mangin – Director of Music Programming, Sirius XM Liquid Metal

Bobby Mansfield – 16

Misha Mansoor – Periphery

Morgan McGrath – Live Nation

Mike “Gunface” McKenzie – The Red Chord, Stomach Earth, Nightkin

Vince Neilstein – MetalSucks

Eventansvarig Biostaden Nyköping – Below

Chris Ojeda – Byzantine

Casey Orr – Rigor Mortis, Warbeast

Rob Pasbani – Metal Injection

Anders Persson – Portrait

Chris Pervelis – Internal Bleeding

Karim Peter – Artist Relations, IndieMerchandising

Raphael Pinsker – Booking Agent, 3Thirteen Entertainment Group

Polar

Markus “Rabapagan” – Metsatöll

Josh Rand – Stone Sour

Emperor Rhombus – MetalSucks

Gus Rios – Gruesome

Tobias Rosén – Noctum

Axl Rosenberg – MetalSucks

Travis Ryan – Cattle Decapitation, Murder Construct, Nader Sadek

Saturn

Marc Schapiro, Branch Marketing Collective

Zach Shaw – The Syndicate

Patrick Sheridan – Fit For An Autopsy

Alex Skolnick – Testament

Brian Slagel – Chairman/CEO, Metal Blade Records

Mark Solotroff – Anatomy of Habit, Bloodlust!, BLOODYMINDED

Steve “Zetro” Souza – Exodus, Hatriot

Kevin Stewart-Panko – Decibel, MetalSucks

Black String – Vampire

Jason Suecof – Audiohammer Studios

Bram Teitelman – Metal Insider

Nick Tieder – No Jacket Required Marketing, Indegoot

Tone Deaf Touring

Aaron Turner – Old Man Gloom, ex-ISIS, Hydra Head Records

Brody Uttley – Rivers of Nihil

George Vallee – Head of Publicity, Street Smart Marketing

Dirk Verbeuren – Soilwork, Bent Sea, Scarve

Jens Vestergren – Below

Jake Wade – Columns

Kelly Walsh – Publicist, Prosthetic Records

Mike Wohlberg – The Fat Kid Illustration

Wookubus – The PRP

Zodiac