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France has announced formal plans to remove the red and blue colors from its flag which, “frequently get in the way of surrendering.” This color change will both better represent the country’s love of surrender as well as bringing about significant practical gains.

The Blue and Red stripes on the French flag have historically hampered its army’s ability to effectively surrender. Now marching under a plain white flag, the military hopes to be able to surrender before conflict even commences. According to a recent study, the biggest cause of French military-related deaths could have been prevented through quicker surrender, which has been hampered by the lack of ready-made white flags.

France has a long and glorious history of surrendering going back hundreds of years and spanning the world from Europe and Algeria to Vietnam, Mexico and North America. Historians maintain that one of the most unique facets of the French revolution was that with French on both sides, those who surrendered too late were forced for the first time in history to accept the surrender of others. This ego boost may have been what led the French to attempt to take over Europe in the Napoleonic wars before, of course, their surrender.

President Francois Hollande’s 9-year-old niece, Helaine, who told Reuters she was going for a totally clean look, designed the new white on white flag. When Hollande realized that this would also double perfectly as a surrender flag he presented the idea to the French people after his political opposition (also French) gave up, before government officials could. Hollande has reportedly declared that it is the last time the government of France will not be the first to surrender.

Riley Smith

Reportering From The Lapine

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