While we were absolutely not at all very interested in what Mark Steyn (noted reviewer of No, No, Nannette) had to say about modes of masculinity when comparing a rugged backwater hillbilly duck destroyer with a fey cocoa-latte-sipping metrosexual homosexual mansexual-childsexual, we found ourselves oddly, deeply, passionately drawn to the musing of noted thought leader and accidental baby momma Bristol Palin on l’affaire Duck à l’Outrage because, if anyone knows about Let’s Talk About Sex, it is our Bristol who made serious bank speechifying about something that eluded her like a high school diploma.



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Bristol has previously weighed in on The Gheys by acting as a parenting coach (and why wouldn’t Bristol share her expertise since she started parenting way earlier than most people?) to those black people who live in our White House. Also, keep in mind that Bristol knows whole lots of stuff about The Gheys because she was briefly on one of their teevee shows. Now she is defending the 1st Amendment rights of Phil Robertson to say smart stuff like:

“It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”

…and Bristol wants you guys to JUST QUIT IT! and not be so mean to him because he is a fragile beautiful swamp rose who makes a simple living by luring ducks to their death with his siren $179.99 duck calls that looks just like a buttplug, if you ask me… not that I would know.

Normally, we are of the opinion that someone writes Bristol Palin’s word sentence mad libs for her, but times are tough (THANKS A LOT Obama), and Bristol appears to have gone DIY because what she wrote looks just like prime second generation Palin word salad:

Everyone needs to leave Phil Robertson alone for expressing his beliefs. I think it’s so hypocritical how the LGBT community expects every single flippen person to agree with their life style. This flies in the face of what makes America great – people can have their own beliefs and own opinions and their own ways of life. Everyone needs to treat others like God would, with love. It goes both ways. […] I hate how the LGBT community says it’s all about “love” and “equality.” However, if you don’t agree with their lifestyle, they spread the most hate. It is so hypocritical it makes my stomach turn. They need to learn how to respect others’ opinions and not just jump to the conclusion that everyone who doesn’t support homosexuality and gay marriage is homophobic. They take the easy way out every time anyone speaks out about their beliefs on the Bible. If I were Duck Dynasty, I would take my show to another channel. So much disrespect.

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Indeed. And to prove that Bristol is on the side of Angels In America, she links to “This homosexual writer has a lot right about this incident in Time Magazine.” So suck it, gays! A ‘homosexual’ has Bristol’s back! You guys lose because you have failed to enforce Gay Discipline, you big gay losers.

Also, too, as her mother would say:

Of course, I don’t agree with everything he writes, but I do think we should elevate the conversation, stand for free speech, and let people hold beliefs that you might make you uncomfortable. It’s what freedom sometimes feels like.

To sum up: freedom can sometimes be uncomfortable (see, The Book of Kelly: ““Just because it makes you feel uncomfortable doesn’t mean it has to change.”) but, when someone says things that make you feel uncomfortable, you should shut the hell up and not criticize their words with your own words because that is what freedom of speech is all about….

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Word to your mother, Bristol.

Bonus video. Here is Bristol showing off her mad parenting skillz where lil Tripp sez “faggot” because: “1st Amendment”:

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[Apparently the video is blocked by ABC, so just go to the YouTube link]