Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome the host of the Laugh Track column, a man who is ready to subscribe … Mike McIntyre.

Thank you, Cleveland. Apple is working on a subscription service being dubbed the “Netflix of News.” Great. The story on immigration starts buffering in the fourth paragraph,and once you reboot, it takes a full week of bingeing to get to the final paragraph.

Independent comedian: Robert Kelly is a big-time comic who likes to hang out with other comics in smaller venues, where crowds know him and give him the leeway to do his thing.

He’ll be at the Winchester Tavern Friday in a show organized and promoted by Cleveland comedian Jimmie Graham, who also will perform.

“I love Cleveland, man. I love the comedy scene,” Kelly said. “Cleveland like this little dirty secret, then you go there and it’s like the best food, the coolest little bars, a really great comedy community. It reminds me of Boston a little bit.”

Kelly does clubs and bigger venues, but, he said, “I kind of like mixing it up. … Certain places you like working, and certain places just work for you.”

A small room like the Winchester works for him for a number of reasons, including the ability to set his schedule and not be tied to a full comedy club weekend. “I’ve got a kid now [a 5-year-old son]. I like to be home for pancakes on Sundays.”

Another reason is the intimacy.

“I mean comedy is jazz. Comics today can be like rock stars. They’re doing arenas that Van Halen did, and Pearl Jam. Sure, it’s great money. You make a million in a night to tell dumb jokes,” he said. “There’s nothing like being in the room where you’re looking at people’s faces, 200 or less jammed into a room to see you.

"You need people that get your [stuff] to enjoy what you do., Five bachelorette parties that don’t give a crap what monkey’s onstage? They’re not going to get what you do, and you can’t blame them. I’m not very neutral. You got to be with me for the ride.”

That son he wants to hang with on Sunday does tend to drive him crazy, which you’ll hear in his act.

“There is some stuff about being a parent. It’s all different now. You can’t hit ‘em, you can’t use God against them. I have to raise a very different human being than when I was raised,” he said. “It’s way harder to do. You have to become a good person. I have to be a good person all the time now.”

Kelly, who played Louis C.K.’s brother on HBO’s “Louie,” is host of the “You Know What Dude” podcast.

You can check him out in Cleveland Friday, Feb. 15. Tickets are $20. Go to thewinchestermusictavern.com.

At Hilarities: Debra DiGiovanni, a relentless comedy engine who barely stops to take a breath and sounds like she’s having as much fun as the audience, headlines Hilarities this weekend. She was here for the Accidental Comedy Festival last year and slayed crowds while swaying Hilarities management, which booked her to headline a weekend on the main stage.

She said on “Conan” last year that one patron complained to her because she used the word “slut” in her act.

“I actually, I don’t even use the word ‘slut’ in my life. But here’s the thing: I could, because there’s an old rule in comedy that says I’m allowed to tell jokes about sluts because one of my sisters is a slut,” she said.

“I know what you’re thinking. ‘That’s not nice.’ But I have three sisters, so you don’t know which one I’m talking about, you know what I mean? Unless you know my family, then you totally know who I’m talking about. It is Monica, anyway.”

Debra DiGiovanni performs at Hilarties 4th Street Theatre inside Pickwick & Frolic, at 8 p.m. Wednesday ($18) and Thursday ($23), 7 and 9:30 p.m. Friday ($25), and Saturday ($28). Pickwick & Frolic is at 2035 East Fourth St., Cleveland. Call 216-736-4242 or go to hilarities.com.

At the Improv: Adele Givens is a proven headliner, playing clubs like the Improv and arena shows. Last year, she added big-time music videos to her repertoire with her stand-up incorporated into “I Love It,” by Kanye West and Lil Pump feat. Adele Givens. See more than a snippet as she headlines the Cleveland Improv at 7:30 p.m. Thursday, 7:30 and 10 p.m. Friday, and 7 and 9:30 p.m. Saturday. Tickets are $25. The Improv is at 1148 Main Ave., next to Shooters on the west bank of Cleveland’s Flats. Call 216-696-4677 or go to clevelandimprov.com.