Last week, the guy who created the Dilbert comic strip created a stir when he likened investment advisers to palm readers. We couldn’t help wondering: If the two professions are so similar, would they give you similar advice?

It goes without saying that Scott Adams’s comparison wasn’t meant as a compliment to financial pros. “The reason it is legal to open a palm reading shop is that the public understands it to be entertainment and not prediction,” Adams wrote on his blog. “You can buy investment advice if you want it, but not until you sign a document acknowledging that science says no one has magical stock-picking skills.”

With this in mind, I chatted with a midtown Manhattan palm reader about how I should handle my money (she wasn’t privy to the fact that I’m a reporter, so she’ll remain anonymous). Then I called Christopher Van Slyke, an investment adviser and founder of a wealth management firm in Austin, Texas (he did know that I was a reporter, and that his advice would be compared with that of the palm reader). Both were aware that I’m a millennial with a steady job.

The bottom line: The financial advice they gave me had an alarming number of similarities—though only one of them recommended using “The Force.”

Here are the details:

1. Where’s the market going — can we expect a correction or crash?

Palm reader: “No, I don’t feel that at all,” she said, because “that’s what my senses are telling me.”

Adviser: “I don’t know any of my clients who need their money like, next week,” said Van Slyke, founder of the firm WorthPointe. “So it’s irrelevant what the market is going to do in the short term. Yes, there will be a correction. I have no way of knowing when it is. Does it matter? No.”

2. Should I be an active or passive investor?

Palm reader: “You’re not good at taking advice,” she said. She added that her reading indicates I am the kind of person who should own my own business — meaning I am more suited to picking my own stocks.

Adviser: “There’s no evidence that anybody can outperform the market in the long run by trying to forecast the short-term prices. I do not see the case for active management,” Van Slyke said. Buying the whole market through indexing is “like The Force in Star Wars. Accept The Force.”

3. Where should I put my money?

Palm reader: I should buy stocks, and pick medium-sized companies rather than big companies, she said. “Right now, I think you should find something that’s going to grow your money. I don’t feel like Apple or Google will do anything big right now,” she said, adding that she’s not a stock picker and “this is just my psychic feeling about it and my psychic feeling toward you.”

(Of course, this advice was based on the lines on my palm — not yours — so you may be more comfortable with the advice in MarketWatch columnist Jeff Reeves’ “9 reasons Apple’s stock will keep rising”.)

Adviser: “If I’m a millennial, I’m not interested in anything but stocks or equities,” Van Slyke said. The ideal portfolio would consist of just small companies, which he said offer higher returns, and be globally diversified, with about half U.S. companies and half foreign. “I want to not trade much and hold it and keep adding to it.”

4. How much should I save for retirement?

Palm reader: I should put 15% to 20% of my money aside for investing and “just to have.” As for specifically retirement saving, I shouldn’t sweat it, even as I get older. “You’ll have children, you’ll have everything and you’ll always be supported. You’ll always be successful,” she said. “So around your 70s, 80s, that’s when you start to worry about money for retirement.” She did not offer a prediction of what kind of job I could get to bulk up my savings when I’m, say, 75. She did, however, note that I should get a raise.

Adviser: “If you can save 15% of what you make your entire life and put that into index funds and mutual funds, you’ll be just fine,” he said. “The key is to start doing that when you’re 18, 19, 21, 22, 23. Unless you want to make it hard on yourself and start when you’re older. What you’re trading for more beer and more partying is a secure future.”