I guess because I run a highly ranked blog (that does not specialize in cars...) Ford decided I would be a good person to test drive a Lincoln MKS for a week. To give them credit they did not ask me to write about it, nor did they ask me about my cars or opinions about cars in general.

I've been avoiding writing about my experience because... well I knew it would be a long post and include more than a cursory review of the car.

The car they gave me was LOADED. The base price was $37,665, but the one I got was $45,255. It had all the optional equipment... The ultimate package (nav, double sunroof, etc...etc..etc...oh and THX audio).

But first of course you need my history... because without it the review would not be much use to anyone.

My first car was a Chrysler 1985 LeBaron GTS (Turbo). It was loaded for its day which meant that the Turbo was just OK and it had an onboard computer that kept track of all the stats of my gas and mileage etc... it was cool for 1985. It was a nice red color and I have to say that one thing that Chrysler knows how to do is paint a car - it looked new until the day I sold it. Now back to reality - the paint job was the best part of the car by leaps and bounds. Every part of the Chrysler broke in the 4-5 years I owned it - multiple times. I'm not exaggerating... every part. The automatic window track would break every week on both sides. I had them fixed over 10 times and eventually gave up and never opened them. The radio had to be replaced several times. The AC stopped working just in time for the windows to break in the up position. The steering had a problem multiple times. Even the open and close containers to hold my stuff would break. I had my radiator re-dipped twice because of leaks (which didn't seem to help). Then one day I was driving down the street and the bolt that held the drivers seat broke and I found myself in the back seat trying to stop the car without killing myself. To say that EVERY part broke on this car is a gross under-exaggeration. I cannot remember every single thing but if you name a part on the car it had problems. Oh, and it burned oil so I had to constantly re-fill it. Yes it was under warranty... but it spent a HUGE amount of time at the dealers and they were totally unable to fix anything permanently. Not to mention they were rude and just plain didn't care. I had one episode where the engine was sputtering constantly and dying at lights and I took it in and they could not re-produce the problem. After taking it in for the third time I left it running and got the manager outside (while the car was running) and we yelled at each other about it until of course the car decided to make my point for me. The final straw was the grey smoke that filled a courtyard from the tailpipe. It was out of warranty and that point and I took it to a service station who couldn’t tell me why it happened but it had stopped...so I took it as quickly as I could and traded it in to Ford for a new Ford Probe.

Before I get to the Probe let me just say that my 5 year experience with Chrysler was so terrible that I will NEVER buy a Chrysler again. If they offered me one for free I'd take it and sell it. The horrible car plus the completely bad customer experience was such that they lost me for life. I don't care if they are someday ranked number one (unlikely considering the recent bankruptcy) I will never buy one again.

I got the Ford Probe because I was still a student and had only so much money - but I wanted something sportier than the LeBaron. My experience with the Ford Probe was not as bad as with Chrysler. It didn't break all the time - but when it did I do have to say that I had a similar customer experience - they just sucked and didn't care. The dealerships were filthy and old and the people there were glassy eyed and just went about their day. The Probe was an OK car for about 4 years and then things started to break that were expensive and it started making noises that Ford couldn’t fix (buzzing, vibrating... basically the car was made out of plastic molding). I can't recall if I was engaged or married at the time but we decided to upgrade to a foreign car at this point.

I sold the Probe and moved up to my first foreign car - the Lexus ES300. Yes it was the low end model - but it was fantastic. The only fault we found in our entire time with the car was the two tone color on the outside (grey on the bottom white everywhere else... yuck). The car never had any major problems and spent little time at the shop. When we did go to the dealer we were treated like gold. They took us into a nice room and asked us what was wrong and made sure they had it completely correct. Then before giving the car back the service manager would drive it and make sure the problem was solved. The dealership was clean and comfortable and everyone there couldn't have been more helpful. It was like I had entered paradise after being stuck on an island called American cars for my entire life. (and they washed it every time)

Eventually we added our second car and it was the Lexus RX300 (which was my car - my wife kept the ES300). I LOVED it and Lexus continued with their great service and the car never had a problem.

Of course as you can expect after my experiences with cars at this point THERE WAS NO WAY IN HELL I WAS EVERY GOING TO BUY AN AMERICAN CAR AGAIN IN MY LIFE.

Well, then something happened that made me give up my beloved Lexus RX300... children were born - twins. So suddenly I woke up one day to find baby seats in the back of my RX300... (seriously - I had no idea it was coming) and I found out it was no longer mine... my wife had taken it over.

This worked out OK though... because I was nearing 40 years old and there was no way I was taking her two tone car after all this time... so I traded her car in and bought the car I always wanted when I was a teenager... which by luck had JUST come out... the Nissan350Z Roadster. I went there and bought it the first week they were out - I think I got one of the first 200 in the US ... a beautiful sunset colored convertible that rocked. My experience with Nissan was similarly very good. There were some problems with the car because it was a new model. The soft roof had to be replaced and some other minor things had to be fixed.. but they did it all at their cost and gave me a car to drive while it was being fixed. The service was excellent and after that the car gave me no problems. I loved it. I kept this car for about 4-5 years and didn't dream of replacing it.

Of course being a man I really had no idea of what it meant to have twins... no less a girl and a boy... it meant that when they reached 4-5 years old we needed two cars that could handle them... and my Z was a two seater that couldn't handle a child. This meant I had to sell my Z and get a sedan (gasp!).

Oh, and I forgot - my wife had traded the RX300 in fairly quickly to get a Toyota Minivan, so we had the Toyota for almost 4 years at the time. The minivan was a great car for kids and we never had any serious problems with it. When there was a problem it was fixed. We still own it and it's still humming along like it will last forever.

Back to my problem. I had to pick a sedan that I wanted but I didn't want to spend a ton on one. I ended up doing a TON of research and found that I loved the look of the Nissan Altima (post 2007 model). There was a problem though - I wanted the car loaded - I wanted the 3.5 v6 engine that my Z had, the Nav , the Sports Package, and the sound system... basically every option that I could have. To get that new would have cost me about32k and I had sold the Z for about 23k. What was I to do? Well I did something brand new to me and looked for a USED Altima with those specs. It took me a long time looking through EBAY, Craigslist, AutoTrader and every other possible place. Oh and it had to be black...Now the problem is that 90% of all Altima's are 2.5 V4's. That left me with a VERY hard project to get ALL of the options plus BLACK and have the 3.5V6. Well I got lucky and found one in New Orleans with just 13,000 miles on it (2007) and owned by the son of an Acura dealer (so it was taken care of). I got it for about 23k and now have had it for two years and I LOVE it. It's not as fast as my Z of course because it weighs more and isn't made to be a sports car - but its close. It's all leather, NAV , Sports, Bose Stereo, etc... I was very happy needless to say. And I had the same good experience when I had to take it to the dealer (which was totally rare because the car had already been broken in). I have to say that I am completely satisfied with the Altima and it's sitting outside my window as we speak.

So out of nowhere I get this email offering to let me test drive either some boxy new minivan or the high end Lincoln MKS... so I picked the latter. My wife and I both made it our main car for the five days they gave us. We put the booster seats in it and both drove it for the entire 5 days. My wife’s first impression was that it drove like butter. It was very smooth in turning and it took bumps and railroad tracks like they weren't there. However after driving it for a few days problems became apparent. The back window is very small - my wife says as small as my350Z (very small). Further everything on the inside of the car is thick - including seat belts which made it hard to view back and to the side. The car was designed very poorly for viewing traffic. Other thing was that when the car was turned off it didn’t require that it be in park... which once let the car drift back until my wife realized what was going on... another safety issue. The turning radius of the car was horrible. But she did like the car. By chance both the Lincoln MKS and my Altima were nearly clones as far as features went. Both were black with the same exact features including NAV etc... so it was like comparing two very similar cars. The difference was that the Lincoln was MUCH heavier and made up for it with a slightly bigger engine than my Altima. Ever the doors felt heavy in the Lincoln . It wasn't a bad car... but I had a 23k Altima that was perfect and I was test driving a Lincoln MKS for 45k that was very very similar. In the end I decided that it came down mostly to looks. My Altima looks terrific from front to back. The Lincoln looks great from the front but the back is the typical huge grill that every Lincoln has - and it's completely ugly. For some reason American carmakers seem to think that they must make all of their cars look like their "brand". However who are they marketing this Lincoln MKS to? 40 year olds like me or 60 year olds who might like the grill... Based on the features I'd say they want people like me so why the old man look? Of course there were a few more things about the Lincoln I must mention. Of course the engine had some serious kick to make up for the weight of the car. If I stuck it in my Altima I might even be able to beat my Z. The other thing that I'd take from the Lincoln and put in my Altima was the sound system. They had a THX sound system. When I got in the car and saw THX I thought to myself - how stupid - THX is a movie sound system and this is a car. I still think that and that they are just using THX as a marketing device... but when Pink Floyd came on and I felt my entire backside rumble I decided that yes I'd swap out my sound system for this one. Oh, and one last thing that is somewhat major in my book – the NAV system. For those who don't have a NAV system it's usually integrated with the sound system and all the other electronics. My Altima's NAV is great and placed perfectly in my car so I can press the screen for everything. The Lincolns was high up and under it had real buttons to press that were completely unnecessary. I couldn't fathom why they would put the NAV screen so high up to make room for those buttons... and then I figured it out... down below there was a little emblem... "By Microsoft". Well that did it for me - all I need is the Blue Screen Of Death in a car! My god what a scary thing to see in a car. Oh also this car had TWO sunroofs - one for the front and one for the back... why? WHY? Who really uses a sunroof and who needs two?

My conclusion is that like my Chrysler the Lincoln threw in a bunch of WOW features like THX, double sunroofs, a NAV system and then ignored what's most important - the overall appearance of the car, the visibility when driving, the comfort of the seats (I preferred my Altima seats), oh and by the way - my Altima could fit three boosters in the back seat while the Lincoln could only fit two. I found that my Altima was designed to death to work for the customer from every angle - from my cup holders to everything else the Altima rocks. The Lincoln tried to be flashy but failed in most other regards. Being heavier it took railroad tracks and bumps smoother. It was quieter in the inside while driving.... all weight issues. And then there is as far as I'm concerned one thing they will never get someone who reviews a car for a few days ... service. It's an American car and my experience with American car companies is that their service sucks the big one.

We've been bailing out our American Car Companies every 10 years because they simply don't get it. Here we are again with our car companies being partially bailed out. Do you ever see Foreign car company needing money from a government to exist? We need a huge overhaul of American Car companies - fire the execs, hire some young people to do design and forget the stupid branding - just make a good car. We can have Toyota making cars IN THE US, and they are better than our cars... why? It's the company, not the workers who build the cars.

Until this happens and I see press about how great an American car is and how terrific the service is... I will remain one of those Americans who say "never again".