Brett McGinness

USA TODAY

Donald Trump won Time's "Person of the Year" honors! But they inadvertently (or totally advertently) gave him devil horns on the cover -- sad! On the other hand, we're sure we could have ended up with a much worse Trump cover. Let's call this one a wash.

Today's FTR features exciting Trump vs. Trump action, plus the end of Jill Stein's dream to capture at least 1% of the Michigan vote. The details ...

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Living the dream

Ever have one of those dreams where you're fighting against yourself? Donald Trump is living it out on a weekly basis, with his campaign self and his elected self clawing each others' eyes out. On Wednesday, Elected Trump threw down the gauntlet on immigration, telling Time magazine he planned "to work something out" for DREAMers -- undocumented immigrants who came into the country illegally prior to age 16, have lived in the country for at least five years, and have received a high school or GED diploma.

“We’re going to work something out that’s going to make people happy and proud,” Trump said. “They got brought here at a very young age, they’ve worked here, they’ve gone to school here. Some were good students. Some have wonderful jobs. And they’re in never-never land because they don’t know what’s going to happen.”

Campaign Trump disagrees, saying that he would "(i)mmediately terminate President Obama’s two illegal executive amnesties." In other words, his immigration policy specifically mentioned Obama's Deferred Action for Childhood Arrivals as something he'd revoke after his inauguration. "All immigration laws will be enforced - we will triple the number of ICE agents," says his campaign website. "Anyone who enters the U.S. illegally is subject to deportation. That is what it means to have laws and to have a country."

Which version will take charge after Inauguration Day? Master Yoda isn't quite sure if Trump is ready to face himself, but only one can prevail.

Federal judge: Jill Stein isn't going to win Michigan

After two days of recounting, including the realization that at least 17 precincts couldn't be recounted at all, a federal judge put a stop to Michigan's hand recount of 4.8 million ballots cast for president. Why? Because Jill Stein won't win. Stein, not Hillary Clinton, is the one who applied for the recount, and U.S. District Judge Mark Goldsmith said that with less than 1% of the vote she wasn't an aggrieved candidate.

"It is at least arguable that the Michigan Legislature intended to confine costly and disruptive recounts to cases where a losing candidate stood a reasonable chance of changing the outcome of the election," Goldsmith wrote. Goldsmith didn't mention whether or not Hillary Clinton, who lost the state by fewer than 11,000 votes, would have qualified as an aggrieved party had she requested the recount.

More from the USA TODAY Network

Trump's pick for EPA administrator has repeatedly sued the EPA in the past (USA TODAY)

Linda McMahon, former CEO of WWE, tags in as head of Small Business Administration (USA TODAY)

Retired Gen. John Kelly to lead Department of Homeland Security. There seems to be a general theme to Trump's nominees lately (USA TODAY)

Israeli settlers see new champion in Trump (USA TODAY)

Trump picks Iowa governor as ambassador to China. Still no such thing as 'ambassador to Taiwan' (The Des Moines Register)

Keith Ellison says he'll resign from Congress if he gets elected DNC chair, because sleeping every now and then is nice (USA TODAY OnPolitics)

John McCain: 'I'm not talking about Trump. I'm not talking about Trump. I'm not talking about Trump. I'm not talking about Trump.' (Arizona Republic)

Hush now, the grown-ups are fighting

The city of Chicago says Trump is trashing their city's reputation by referring to it as a "war-torn country." A local architecture firm has fired back at Trump by proposing the installation of four flying pig balloons to block Trump Tower Chicago's 2,900-square-foot sign facing the Chicago River. Next up: flying pigs on the Soldier Field sidelines to block the view of Bears games.