Your pants are too low

You are a middle aged man

Please pull up your pants

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Your belly hangs low

You are a middle aged man

Don’t tuck in your shirt

—

You are really bald

You are a middle aged man

No ointment will help

—

Your shorts are too short

You are a middle aged man

Time to buy new shorts

—

You’re not playing golf

You are a middle aged man

Please don’t wear plaid pants

—

Don’t make eyes at her

You are a middle aged man

You look like her dad

—

Why is your hair red?

You are a middle aged man

Your hair should be gray

—

Your shirt is too tight

You are a middle aged man

We see your navel

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The RAMONES, in haiku… just click the flower: