DEAR UNGRACIOUS: Women usually bring hostess gifts because they were raised to believe it is the gracious thing to do. ("Don't come empty-handed.") Since "remarking" hasn't gotten your message across, you will have to be more direct with your friends. Tell them that when they visit, you would prefer they bring only themselves and nothing more. Then explain that you are at a point where you have enough "things" and do not need or want any more.