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That’s just how they roll

Big scary dinosaurs? Nah. Just a buncha nerds!

An article published in this month’s issue of Journal of Paleontology has scientists up in arms.

In it, Earth Science Professor and President of Dinalysis (a group that studies the perceived psychology of prehistoric creatures) Martin Anton Rinsky conjectures that perhaps dinosaurs were not the loud, aggressive creatures that popular television and films have painted them to be.

Rinsky writes, “My research has lead me to believe that many of the giant reptiles who once roamed the Earth spent a great deal of time sitting in caves, pretending to be other creatures from other times.” He goes on to say that, based on visualizations, most dinosaurs would probably be asthmatic and possess high-pitched, nasal roars.

But if Rinsky wants support for these and the other ideas he presents, he won’t find any in the scientific community. Many scientists, in fact, have already denounced his article as “unfounded” and “silly.”

“He has his theories, and that’s fine. But to make such bold claims without citing any real scientific evidence is a bit odd if you ask me,” said Paleontologist Tyler Wibley.

Wibley went on to add, “Not that it’s weird to suggest that asthmatic creatures who spend a lot of time in dark rooms CAN’T make on impact on the world. That part’s cool by me.”

Wear this shirt: when you play Turock: The Dinosaur Hunter-themed D&D.

Don’t wear this shirt: outside. Not because of the shirt. It’s just, you probably haven’t been outside in a while, so the sunlight might hurt your eyes.

This shirt tells the world: “You may think I’m lame, but I could end you with a single roll!”

We call this color: where once the dinosaurs roamed, there is now asphalt.

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