“Ok, I guess the Rams are playing here now?” stated a confused Byrd as he packed up his suitcase and grabbed his 3252 themed phone case. “And I guess they are playing well? Maybe I’ll just lead with the improbability of that and hope no one asks any questions.”

Byrd’s family are all die-hard Dallas Cowboys fans with the exception of his cousin Brad who remains a fan of the Green Bay Packers.

“Going home is an eternal reminder that soccer just isn’t popular with white people in Dallas,” stated Byrd. “I just need to remember a few things so that I can have a conversation when I get there.”

Byrd reportedly kept repeating the word, “Mahomes,” as he ordered a Lyft to the airport. He also added one piece of Dallas Cowboys merchandise to his LAFC scarf, LAFC credit card, LAFC colorway Adidas shoes and LAFC training top polo as he pulled on a Cowboys beanie in honor of his family roots.

“The last time I wore this thing was for Christmas,” stated Byrd.

For their part, Byrd’s family is excited to see him again as they worried about whether he is eating well in Los Angeles and whether the Cowboys can make the playoffs.

“God I hope he doesn’t try to bring up Rugby again,” stated Sandra Byrd, Dominic’s mother. “Christmas it was all about Rugby this and rugby that. It’s not a middle ground, Dom. There doesn’t need to be a middle ground. We don’t care about Rugby. We aren’t going to care about Rugby. Us watching a documentary on Rugby isn’t going to make us understand this obsession he has with…. ugh… Soccer. STOP WITH THE RUGBY.”

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as Byrd initiates another conversation about how he, “just can’t understand why Rugby isn’t the biggest sport in the United States. It’s the best parts of soccer AND football.”



