The B-52s, the new wave pop group, have been sent to Qatar to help fight ISIS after a monumental admin error by Secretary of Defence Ashton Carter.

Carter was supposed to be sending off a fleet of B-52 bombers but a mailing error saw the contract delivered to B-52s frontman Fred Schneider who was only to happy to receive an offer for a paying gig.



‘I’ve only been in the job just over a year and I go and make a mistake like this. Obama is going to have my ass for this,’ moaned Carter.

‘It was a gigantic admin cock-up, to be honest. Maybe some good can still come of this though.’

Top military experts are now hard at work figuring out how exactly to best use the B-52s in the war on terror so that the millions of dollars are at least well spent.

‘So far our best idea is to have them sing “Love Shack” repeatedly until the enemy can’t get it out of their head and succumb to mental torture,’ said an anonymous source within the department.

Fred Schneider may have other plans though: ‘I think we can be a real alley in this fight against ISIS. Maybe if we bring a little joy into their lives they won’t want to blow the shit out of everything. I’m not a psychologist but I do know that no-one has ever heard “Rock Lobster” and then gone out and bombed somewhere. That is a scientific fact.’

Fortunately for Ashton Carter, his job may be sparred by the fact that President Obama is said to be a huge fan of the 80s popsters.



‘If we’re going to blow $180 million on an admin error, I’m glad that it at least goes to a band I like. It could have been much worse. Imagine if it’d gone to Nickelback,’ said Obama.