Routine is lovely and keeps us on track. It creates efficiency and paves way for productivity.

If you are like me, your life is full.

Mine is abundant with mom duties, wife duties, work duties, service duties and girlfriend duties (amongst other things). Did I mention that self-care, healthy and exercise is part of my routine?

Productive & Efficient Living

Even though I don’t live in a big city per se, the pace of life for me seems incredibly fast. Fluid, but fast, nonetheless. I've got a system and it is clockwork.

One activity is followed by another: after a client meeting, I’m scheduled for an interview, then a midday workout and lunch. In the afternoon, I'm writing, coaching and alas, marketing my business. After work, my evenings are filled with dinner, family, chores, and my favorite, the bedtime routine.

When my head hits the pillow, I exhale with relief: another day, full and well lived.

Create Space

Even though I am fine, and everything appears to be in order, there is something amiss underneath.

There are days when I want to take a walk in the park or paint, or even have more time to meditate. Yet, my days, directed by schedule and filled with activity doesn’t seem to have space for that sort of thing.

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Moving Forward

So I keep plugging along. I’ve got goals and deadlines to meet. I’m on a schedule after all and accomplishing what I’ve set out, is what I’ve prided myself on all my life.

Completion & follow through. Eyes on the prize. Focus. Determination. SMART goals and accomplishment.

Signals of Sacrifice

As I will myself to press on, I feel myself agitated and increasingly aggravated.

I want to spend more time with my son and his homework, but I’ve got to finish writing my blog post. My daughter asked me to paint with her and I am in the middle of a deadline to complete a radio show. So, I cannot. My husband invited me to watch his favorite show with him, but I’ve got to finish up on completing a graphic design project.

Did I mention that before the day ends, I’ve still got shopping, dishes, and laundry to do?

I would have managed just fine as I make it to bed, like any other night, except, that the light bulb comes on: life is too short.

Not spending my precious life in the way I really want is too much of a sacrifice for me.

Defining Success

What I want is actually what I need: more downtime.

As I tend to what I consider I “have to do" to succeed in business, I am not giving what I actually need the most to feel successful.

What I personally need is space to inhale, to create without inhibition, or a deadline. To be at ease without condition, assignment or task. What I need and want is a life of faith - not necessarily religious faith, although I do believe in a higher power. Yet, my actions that are dictated by schedule and goals and must do’s feels a bit faithless.

I needed to redefine success so it fits my definition of living faith.

How we define success is relative and personal to each individual. In the role of mom, my definition of success is to raise happy, grounded and integrated children so they are equipped to live up to their highest potential. This definition precedes any other goals for me, except for one.

What supersedes my role as mom is my commitment to live aligned with my soul’s calling.

If I am not acting in harmony with my heart’s call, I would feel I’ve betrayed myself in one way or another. As I learn anything new in life, my conviction to live a life I can be proud of.

What would I truly say about whatever it is that I am going through if I look back on this period of life with my last dying breathe? Would I say I was learning? Would I say I was trying something on? Would I say I embraced my experience or rejected it with disdain?

Everything I do serves this definition of success in one way or another. If I am wildly successful at everything, but I betray my heart or my children (eg by failing to support them in some way), I would have missed the mark.

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What’s Truely important NOW

You see, somewhere along the way, I realize that what was once important to me, is no longer as important now.

My life, and where I am in this phase of life, is drastically different from my early adult years, and even in the last 5 years. It's not about making a buck, or gaining followers or increasing my email size. What takes priority is no longer about the statistics, the money, the numbers, facts, and figures.

What really matters in my life now are all the non-quantifiable things that make life worth loving: the juicy, warm, tender hugs I am privileged to receive when my child greets me; the tender gaze of my lovers eyes, with whom I share my life and children before I fall asleep; the glorious sunset I see as a kaleidoscope of color that is nature’s splendor. These are examples of bliss to me. To be present to the everyday, ordinary experiences is my bliss.

My favorite is to savor the sounds and noises my kids make as they play in the other room. It is music to my ears and this music blesses me with the palpable feeling of sheer, magnificent, uninhibited love. The pregnancy, the birth, the challenges and all the difficulties that have come with motherhood (and life!) is worth every second for the joy of listening to my children play.

Real Change Comes From the Inside Out