South Dakota Tea Party activist Bob Ellis railed against a federal court’s decision to strike down his state’s ban on same-sex marriage today, arguing in a BarbWire column that gay people simply aren’t suited for marriage.

Just like an aspiring fireman has to fulfill certain requirements before getting job, gay people have not met the requirements for marriage, Ellis explains: “You don’t get to call yourself a fireman just because you want to be one.” The anti-gay commentator also likens marriage equality for gay couples to passing off fake currency as real money.

After all, Ellis writes, “less than 3% of the population self-identifies as homosexual,” so they aren’t eligible to the same rights as others.