The disabled grandma who showed 13 intruders that memaws are never the one, and when you mess with her money, you mess with her emotions. And when you mess with her emotions you’re going to get a shot of bear spray to the face.

Don’t let the Sam & Libby flats and outfit from the Sears juniors department circa 1994 fool you. This unidentified (because a super memaw never reveals her true identity) weed protector might dress like a 7th grader at a middle school in Utah, but she is all MEMAW. The grandma from Dixon, CA is a medical marijuana grower and kept her entire crop in her backyard. 13 dumb ass thieves knew she kept her crop in her backyard, but they didn’t know that they shouldn’t try to tussle with her.

CBS 13 Sacramento (via Arbroath) says that when the 13 good shit thieves knocked on her door one morning, she grabbed her can of bear spray and went to answer it. “Try to take my income, I’m going to fight” is this gran’s life motto, so fought back when they tried to get in and kept screaming for her to show them where her crop is. One of the thieves had a shot gun, but memaw didn’t see it and emptied her can of bear spray all over them. Those bitches scattered like brats when an abuelita pulls out the switch. Granny whooped all their thug bitch asses and did it all with a can of bear spray.

Granny says she’s getting out of the pot-selling game, but methinks she’s just turning her sewing room into a marijuana greenhouse where she’ll grow buds that smell like Werther’s Originals and weed that has a hint of tapioca pudding flavor. And I’ve always wanted to know what it would look like if Weeds was on CBS and brought to us by the same people who produced Matlock.