The Child Molester - comes with candy

Season 1, Episode 1: Human Flesh



A veal and sweet onion burger topped with candied bacon, cheddar cheese and baby spinach. Garnished with a maple bacon lollipop, and served with every kid’s favorite - Kraft Mac & Cheese.



The burger is simply ground veal and chopped sweet onions. Veal, admittedly, is a bit tricky to cook. The candied bacon is very easy. Rub your bacon with a mix of brown sugar and a dash of cayenne pepper. Lay your bacon strips on a parchment paper covered baking sheet, and throw it in the oven at 325 for about a half hour. The bacon will be deliciously sweet, and extremely sticky. If you don’t know how to make Kraft Mac & Cheese, don’t worry - the directions are right on the box. The lollipop, that delicious sweet and salty maple bacon mix came from none other than Lollyphile!



I’d never cooked veal before, let alone ground veal. It was a lot fattier than I expected, and took a lot longer to cook. I had a bit too much heat on my pan, and so the burger was a bit more rare than I had anticipated. It had a great sweet meaty flavor. The bacon was perfect - just crispy enough without cracking into little bits. The sweetness of it paired really well with the cheddar cheese, and the spinach gave it a vibrant crunch. This burger definitely has room for improvement (and my veal cooking skills definitely need some too). I suggest some Worcestershire sauce mixed in with the meat for a salty counterpart to the bacon. That would’ve really made this burger pop.



Louise and her puns are hilarious, but Child Abuse is no laughing matter. If you suspect a child is being abused, do the right thing and report it. The Childhelp National Abuse Hotline is staffed 24/7 and can be reached at 1.800.4.A.CHILD. If you’re a child who suffers abuse, don’t be afraid to Just Tell.





