WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump vehemently defended his decision to have his name printed on millions of I.R.S. checks being issued to the American people, telling reporters on Wednesday, “I want my name to be synonymous with the coronavirus.”

Lashing out at critics of his decision, Trump said, “I have been working on this pandemic day in, day out, and I deserve total credit for it.”

He said that, by putting his name on the checks, “Whenever the American people hear about the coronavirus, the first thing they’ll think of is me.”

Asked about Trump’s decision to sign the checks, Dr. Anthony Fauci said, “I don’t think it was really necessary, since most people already associate the coronavirus with him.”

Former President Barack Obama said that he was “surprised” by Trump’s statement, remarking, “I had no idea that he knew what the word ‘synonymous’ meant.”