

Stressed out because of all the work you have to wrap up before the holidays? Well, why not settle yourself down with a nice, tall glass of breast milk. But wait, where do you get that kind of thing?

South China Morning Post brings us one of the more bizarre crime stories of the year concerning a computer technician who stole and drank a colleague’s breast milk. As if that weren’t enough, he also sent the woman anonymous messages bragging about drinking her milk and then more messages that were “accompanied by a photo of an erect penis wrapped in a plastic bag and another of a glass of milk.”

If you are wondering how she could have been unaware of this in the first place, Lam Chung-kan, a 37-year-old married father, snatched the bottle of her breast milk from the office pantry back in March.

Later investigation discovered that surveillance footage showed Lam was the only one in the office using a phone at the time that the creepy messages were sent. Officers found that the phone contained both the messages and pictures.

Earlier this month, Lam pleaded guilty to one count of theft at a Hong Kong court. His defense council said that he was very sorry for what he had one, casting it as a one-time offense that had been brought on by his inability to cope with stress at work.

On Wednesday, the court punished Lam with 200 hours of community service for his crimes.

“The exposure of the incident, others’ knowledge, the trouble brought to your family – that’s a punishment you brought upon yourself, but your family is innocent,” the judge in the case told the defendant. “There’s nothing fun about this; think about how you will mend your ties with your family.”

That’s going to be one awkward office Christmas party.

Still, we agree that Lam isn’t likely to be stealing other people’s breast milk again. In order to get his fix, he will likely be excited to learn that there are special kinds of prostitution rings that specialize in “adult breastfeeding.”



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