The Onion exposes Seattle, peeling away the layers to our self-absorbed heart

Is Cano the next Junior? Well, he's expected to be that and much much more for our beleaguered Mariners. ( See The Onion's article .) Is Cano the next Junior? Well, he's expected to be that and much much more for our beleaguered Mariners. ( See The Onion's article .) Photo: Multiple Photo: Multiple Image 1 of / 24 Caption Close The Onion exposes Seattle, peeling away the layers to our self-absorbed heart 1 / 24 Back to Gallery

The Onion, of course, is good for a chuckle at least once a week. Its wit can also be insightful, teasing out latent prejudices, political idiocies or just plain ol’ calling us on our BS.

For instance, the online rag suggested recently that the Mariners' superstar-level-paid Robinson Cano is expected to carry all the hopes and dreams of our beleaguered M’s (see first photo in gallery above).

And sure enough, in early March, Cano showed he totally isn’t above doing just about everything for the team, including taking on the role as armchair GM.

As we reported then:

Robinson Cano this weekend laid out exactly what he thinks the Seattle Mariners should do to strengthen their lineup before Opening Day. “I’m not going to lie: We need an extra bat, especially a right-handed bat,” the new M’s second baseman told CBS Sports. “We have many left-handed hitters. We need at least one more righty. You don’t want to face a lefty pitcher with a lineup with seven left-handed hitters.” … Indeed it is. With his recent comments, some might say Cano is speaking out of turn. It’s not common for players to talk about what sort of moves their general manager should make. But Cano may be in a unique position to do so. He’s a superstar who just received the third-largest contract in MLB history ($240 million over 10 years), and is all but untouchable by M’s brass. He’s perhaps the only member of the Mariners organization that can comment on the job of general manager Jack Zduriencik.

Now, we don’t always turn to The Onion for insight into Seattle’s soul, but when we do, the satire site’s insightful wit surprises us – and lord knows we are a self-absorbed bunch.

Spin through the gallery above for a few of The Onion’s insights into SeaTown.

Jake Ellison can be reached at 206-448-8334 or jakeellison@seattlepi.com. Follow Jake on Twitter at twitter.com/Jake_News. Also, swing by and *LIKE* us on Facebook.