Letter From a Suicidal Victim.

Hi there. My brother posted about me a few days ago and there was quite a response. Thank you to everyone for your kind/outraged/overly outraged words. I’m feeling about 95%, although I only look about 50% at the moment. I just thought I’d pop in to describe what happened.

I was doing a warm-up walk, about to start running, a bit south of the Rhode Island Metro station on the MBT. As I was walking, a group of 15-20 teenagers, ages around 13-17, rode by. One of them reached out and slapped me in the face and then turned around and smiled at me. It didn’t hurt but it shocked the hell out of me.

I stood still for about 30 seconds and finally asked myself “Am I going to just allow random children to slap me with no consequences?” Obviously not. So I sprinted after him. I didn’t really have a plan for what to do if I caught him, whether I would drag him off his bike or just yell at him, but I didn’t think I’d catch him anyway.

He had about a 100m head start on me and was already moving, and he sped up when he saw me. After about 200m of course I got tired, so I stopped running and turned around back the way I came. A few of their stragglers passed by me and asked why I was chasing him, and I told them it was because he’d slapped me for no reason.

Then I heard yelling behind me and realized that the whole group had turned around and was coming back. I wasn’t terribly concerned, which was my first mistake.

I just moved back to the US after living in Thailand for 12 years. I guess this goes under culture shock, because it simply did not occur to me that things could get so violent with a bunch of kids on bicycles.

After all, I hadn’t done or said anything. If it had been an equal number of adults I think I would have reacted quite differently, i.e., by running away as fast as I could. Ex-ranger or not, no one fights 15 people and wins.

I did take the threat a bit seriously, because I tried to hop over the fence on the side of the trail. I reasoned that if things got bad, I could fight them individually as they came across the fence.

Unfortunately that fence is excellent, in that there are spikes all across the top and it’s made of tall vertical iron bars with nowhere horizontal to put your foot. I could have climbed it eventually but I only had about 5 seconds before The Horde showed up.

I failed miserably. The fence on the other side of the trail would have been very easy to hop, and I could gone down gloriously while doing my one man impression of Sparta, but unfortunately The Horde had arrived.

About 4 of them lined up in front of me, looking angry, and yelling at me. One of them was holding the others back as he asked why I ran after the first kid. I answered that he had slapped me for no reason. Then one of them yelled “He called us a bunch of b*tch *ss nigg*s!”

Very obviously, I had not. I am a 40 year old dude out for a run. I’m not going to challenge a group of 20 kids to a fight. Ridiculous.

One of them grabbed my sweatshirt, and then I think one of them sucker-punched me. Pretty much immediately a rain of blows landed on me. I mean that literally. It felt like a meteorological event. I didn’t feel much pain, but my body was being buffeted back and forth very strongly as though I was in a very strong, possibly racist, wind.

I tried to throw out punches, but I could barely see anything because my head was vibrating so hard from all the punches. I could barely keep my feet. It felt like I was experiencing an earthquake. My hat came down over my eyes and I tore it off so I could see. I knew I would lose but my plan was to just pick one, ignore the others, and just destroy him.

It might scare the rest off. Unfortunately it’s quite hard to put up much resistance when your head is rocking back and forth like a bobble-head and you’re struggling to stay upright. I think I may have landed a few punches, but I’m not really sure.

One of the more fiscally minded of The Horde reached into my pocket and grabbed my cell phone. I tried to stop him but was distracted by the other 4-5 teenagers who were pounding me. I’m not sure but I think some replacements came in and took over for a few of the originals.

Two of them spat on me. One of them who hadn’t gotten to the frontlines yet threw a rock at my head. I’m not sure if he hit me or not. I must have gone down at some point, (although I don’t remember it,) because there are scrapes on my hands and knees. I got back up.

Eventually they backed off. I managed to grab one of them and throw him pretty hard against that stupid unclimbable fence. I saw him hit his head on the iron bar. According to my original plan, I would have destroyed him but I think the tide was receding at that point and I wasn’t feeling real motivated. The Horde left.

There had been a construction worker on the other side of the The Wall, who I think had been trying to verbally interject. Of course there wasn’t much he could do since that fence is unclimbable. A few bike riders showed up. Nobody knew first aid so I had to treat myself for shock, lying down and trying to keep my head elevated. Someone offered me some water and a white t-shirt for the blood, a shirt which I promptly ruined. The police showed up. An ambulance came. I went to the hospital.

The damage: I have a broken nose that looks like it’s been turned clockwise like an egg timer, my front tooth is broken in half, and another is chipped. Scrapes everywhere. They broke three of the bones in my sinuses, so now if I swallow or cough my head feels like a submarine at twice it’s max depth.

There was a very deep and wide cut through my eyebrow down through the muscle as well. It seems to have affected my nerves because my scalp behind it is sort of numb. Although if I had to select a place for nerve damage, the scalp would be a good one. Have you ever heard someone in a movie say “Doc! I can’t move my scalp!!!”?

Physically I’m feeling pretty good. I might get back to exercise in a few days, although I think I have to lay off handstands or my sinuses will explode.

I’m feeling pretty disillusioned though. I lived in Thailand for 12 years with nothing like this happening to me, then moved back to the US 3 months ago and got my *ss handed to me immediately. My Thai girlfriend in Thailand is now convinced that I live in some sort of primitive violent society and says she’s scared to move here and start a family.

I have a good English friend in Bangkok who constantly talks smack about America, and I feel like I want to just conceal this whole incident from him because he’ll just see it as confirmation that he’s right. As people who grew up in the US, of course we are used to the American atmosphere, but there are a lot of people out there in the world who look at us the way most people look at a place like Syria. This is ridiculous.

And if I ever get a chance to talk to those teenagers, if I can restrain myself from any violence, I’d have a few questions for them:

“Why are you so angry? Especially at just some random guy whom you’ve never met? I never did anything to you guys. I’m assuming you’re angry at me because I’m white.

But don’t you guys understand that not all white people are created equal? If you guys saw Donald Trump, Mitt Romney, and me standing around, you would see us all the same way.

But as an uninsured, unemployed, 40 year old white guy living in his brother’s basement looking for work, I honestly think I have more in common with you at-risk youths than I do with Romney or Trump.

If anybody is personally responsible for your circumstances, (and I can’t believe I’m going to open this can of worms on Reddit on my very first post,) it is far more likely to be someone like Romney or Trump than someone like me.

Be angry at the people in power, regardless of their skin color, who benefit by maintaining the current status quo and by ignoring the circumstances of people like you and me. Don’t get violent; do something substantive.

Your violence just makes me want to get violent in return, and I don’t think that’s going to help whatever race issues we have in this country. You beating me up didn’t make things better. And if I hadn’t been fighting my own base urge for revenge, it would certainly make things worse. Come on guys. Can’t we all just get along?”

Seriously though. If anyone hears anything or knows anything, please let me know. These kids need the police to show them that they can’t randomly attack people, for whatever reason, consequence-free, or they’ll continue to do so, and maybe next time the victim won’t be someone who can take it.

Thanks guys.

xx

About the Author

Colin Flaherty is an award winning reporter and author of the #1 best selling book White Girl Bleed a Lot: The Return of Racial Violence to America and How the Media Ignore it.

His new book is Knockout Game a Lie? Aww, Hell No.

Both books are about black mob violence, black on white crime and the Knockout Game.

His work has appeared in more than 1000 news sites around the world, including the New York Times, Washington Post, Los Angeles Times, Time Magazine. His story about how a black man was unjustly convicted of trying to kill his white girlfriend resulted in his release from state prison and was featured on Court TV, NPR, The Los Angeles Times and San Diego Union-Tribune.

Thomas Sowell: ”Reading Colin Flaherty’s book made painfully clear to me that the magnitude of this problem is greater than I had discovered from my own research. He documents both the race riots and the media and political evasions in dozens of cities.” – National Review.

Sean Hannity: White Girl Bleed a Lot “has gone viral.”

Allen West: “At least author Colin Flaherty is tackling this issue (of racial violence and black on white crime) in his new book, White Girl Bleed a Lot: The Return of Racial Violence to America and How the Media Ignore it.“

Los Angeles Times: “a favorite of conservative voices.”

Daily Caller: “As the brutal “knockout” game sweeps across the U.S., one author isn’t surprised by the attacks or the media reaction. Colin Flaherty, author of the book “White Girl Bleed A Lot: The Return of Racial Violence to America and How The Media Ignore It,” began chronicling the new wave of violence nearly a year ago — revealing disturbing racial motivations behind the attacks and a pattern of media denial.”

Alex Jones: “Brilliant. Could not put it down.”

Neal Boortz: “Colin Flaherty has become Public Enemy No.1 to the leftist media because of his research on black culture of violence.”

From the Bill Cunningham show. It is official: “Colin Flaherty is a great American.A wonderful book.”

Breitbart.com: “Prescient. Ahead of the News. Garnering attention and sparking important discussions.”

David Horowitz: “A determined reporter, Colin Flaherty, broke ranks to document these rampages in a book titled, White Girl Bleed A Lot”

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