Ease your crushing anxiety as you await Game 7 with some completely useless enlightenment straight from the City of Champions David Mayer Follow Nov 2, 2016 · 5 min read

Waiting for game 7 to start is horrible — but at least this dumb article is here to help you kill some time. Enjoy. Or don’t. I could not care less. I’m gonna go throw up. Go Tribe.

#1 MICHAEL MARTINEZ

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You’re related to Michael Martinez.

#4 COCO CRISP

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: Smiling is your favorite.

#6 BRANDON GUYER

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: Guyer? Liar.

#8 LONNIE CHISENHALL

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You’re a scrappy white guy who loves other scrappy white guys. You also like to say, “CHIZZZZZ.”

#10 YAN GOMES

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: Is the sun out? Then your guns are also out.

#11 JOSE RAMIREZ

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: Ghandi is your dude. Be the frosted tips you want to see in the world.

#12 FRANCISCO LINDOR

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You only want to see us laughing…in the Purple Rain.

#20 RAJAI DAVIS

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You’ve been caught stealing. Once.

#22 JASON KIPNIS

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: Sometimes you watch Good Will Hunting and cry. Not because you’re from Boston — but because you’re all man.

#24 ANDREW MILLER

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You’re a human being who enjoys the game of baseball. You also like puppies and LeBron James. Congratulations.

#26 MIKE NAPOLI

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You didn’t throw that dildo on the field last Sunday during the Patriots game, but you fucking wish you did. Woooooo!!!!!

#27 BRYAN SHAW

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: Remember that Jose Mesa jersey you bought from MC Sports in ’97? The one you wore to Game 7 “to be funny?” Wear it this year and I will end you.

#28 COREY KLUBER

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You pay all your bills three days early. Even your estimated RITA taxes. Because you’re perfect.

#30 TYLER NAQUIN

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You’re the only hell your mama’s ever raised. Also, Texas.

#31 DANNY SALAZAR

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You like your balls hard, fast, and oh so furious.

#34 ZACH MCALLISTER

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: There is more to life than binge-watching Saved By The Bell — The College Years and Home Alone 2. Get your shit together.

#37 CODY ALLEN

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You eat. You pray. And every single day you go out there and slay.

#41 CARLOS SANTANA

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You give it your heart — make it real — or else forget about it.

#43 JOSH TOMLIN

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: Mullets recognize mullets. You’re glorious. Moving on.

#47 TREVOR BAUER

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You are reading this while waiting for your custom beer bong to finish up 3D printing. Because you’re awesome.

#52 MIKE CLEVINGER

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You don’t stop believin.’

#53 JEFF MANSHIP

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You’re on a boat.

#54 RYAN MERRITT

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: Your mom is super proud that you sent your gramma that Thank You card last week. Nice work.

#55 ROBERTO PEREZ

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: You’re a badass with a heart of gold. But you knew that already.

#61 DAN OTERO

WHAT THIS SAYS ABOUT YOU: It says you read this whole damn article. Good job by you. You are now 6 minutes closer to the start of GAME 7 of the 2016 WORLD SERIES and a WINDIANS WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP.

RALLY TOGETHER!!!! CLEVELAND AGAINST THE WORLD!!!!