First off, a quick fuck off to the top review of this movie on iMDB right now that reads “Now I enjoy ‘The Matrix’ as a superior action movie, but no movie in recent years has been so overrated, and grossly exaggerated as intellectual fare!” Not only should these two movies never be compared but The Matrix is a goddamn incredibly intellectually dense masterpiece (the sequels too) and in my opinion, the greatest movie ever made.

Now that I got that out of my system here’s the deal with eXistenZ. The plot is about a virtual reality game designer on the run from assassins with her marketing guy. It sounded kind of stupid to me but it was Cronenberg so I knew it would be good.

This was honestly one of the most fun movies I’ve seen in a long time from beginning to end. Cronenberg comes in hot with his two biggest strengths, body horror and manipulation of reality. Inception bites at this movie in a really obvious way and unfortunately the plot here, while not at all ruined, is sort of vaguely predictable. It’s not in a way where you can definitively say how it’s going to end but the everything-isn’t-what-it-seems vibe kind of prepares you for anything.

Fortunately, none of that takes anything away from this film. To put it elegantly, there’s just so much cool shit in this movie from weird bone guns that shoot human teeth to slug-like virtual reality machines that plug into bio-ports (second assholes) installed in human bodies.

Did anyone else get turned on when Jude Law tongues Jennifer Jason Leigh’s bio-port? I’m asking for a friend.

8.5/10

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