Prepare for answers.

Jakub "Koobismo" Riedel wanted to become Poland's first professional grain poet, but failed miserably. Dabbles in game development and writing, known to converse with products of pop culture. You can catch his other work - including the Marauder Shields webcomic - at his site, Koobismo.com. Often hangs around Twitter, trying to convince the world that all it needs is just a little bit of Ecco the Dolphin.

Note: this is a work of parody, created under the terms of fair use.