With a five year old, and a ten month old, I have mentally uttered "go the fuck to sleep" about a billion times. While I can not read this story to my eldest, due to his uncanny ability to remember something I said once and then repeat it a dozen times at school a month later, my wife can safely read this bedtime story to our baby. Over and over again, as needed.

As a bonus: I seem to have won, yet again, a double-lifetime supply of Purell. Does anyone know if this stuff is safe to drink?

A+ - Laughed my arse off when I opened the box of Purell today.