I have long been fascinated by St. Mary of Egypt as an early Church saint and desert mother! She has special prominence in the Eastern Churches and is venerated on the fifth Sunday of Great Lent. I will approach the subject of St. Mary of Egypt from the perspective of a professional counselor and marriage and family therapist who specializes in trauma. If I am in any way misinformed or misrepresent St. Mary of Egypt, I hope others will call me out. I want to stay loyal to the memory of this important Christian saint while offering a fresh perspective.





Although St. Mary of Egypt lived in the 5th century, the first written account was by St. Sophronius (Patriarch of Jerusalem) in the 7th century. St. Sophronius relied on an oral tradition that originated from St. Zosimas of Palestine who apparently met St. Mary of Egypt and heard her story from her own lips.





We learn that St. Mary of Egypt ran away from home and moved to Alexandria when she was only 12 years old. In Alexandria she apparently begged for food, did some spinning, and engaged in prostitution. Especially noteworthy is the fact that she would at times refuse the money offered for sexual favors because she enjoyed it so much.





Let’s keep in mind that this interpretation of events was apparently related by Saint Mary of Egypt herself in her last year of life and after much repentance. This account also relies on St. Zosimas’ interpretation and understanding, and on nearly two hundred years of oral tradition. As a therapist, there are a few parts of the story I’d like to explore.





First, in order to temper some modern sensibilities, it should be noted that girls in the ancient world were often betrothed at a very young age, and they married as soon as they began menstruating. It wasn’t unusual for a 12 year old girl to be married in the ancient world.





But still, why would a 12-year old girl leave her family to go to a big city to be a beggar and a prostitute?





Based on the tone of the story itself, it is implied that she was dissolute, promiscuous, lustful, and wild. Basically, she was a bad girl.





As a trauma-informed therapist, I find this part of the story disturbing. Girls do not leave the safety and security of the family home, especially in the ancient world, without any cause. We don’t know what caused her flight. Did her parents want her to marry someone she didn’t like? Was her father physically cruel to her? Was her family extremely poor and unable to feed her? There could be any number of reasons.





The key to understanding her motivation, I believe, is in the fact that early sexual impropriety is part of her story. She apparently engaged in prostitution and sometimes didn’t even take money for it. She enjoyed seducing pilgrims. She wore her scarlet letter with pride.





But why? In trauma terms it sounds like a traumatic re-enactment of some kind. A traumatic re-enactment occurs when a trauma victim, so disturbed by a painful event or set of events, subconsciously “chooses” to relive the event in some way in order to achieve a different outcome, which itself never happens. The survivor is left in a vicious cycle of replaying the event. This partly explains why some physically abused girls marry violent men, or why some sexually abused boys choose to watch violent and demeaning pornography.





12-year old girls don’t voluntarily and knowingly subject themselves to sexual encounters with grown men unless something happened to them.





I want to suggest then that St. Mary of Egypt was a sexual abuse survivor who re-enacted her abuse until that fateful day when she tried to enter the Church of the Holy Sepulchre, and she was barred by an unseen force.





In order to behave in the manner in which she did at such a young age, she must have thought her life was worthless. She tried to seduce pilgrims as an effort to regain control. An abuse survivor loses control of their own body. So how can she regain that control? By seducing, and therefore having a sense of control over others. The only way she knew how to do that was by using sex. And if her abuser was a person who should have been kind and caring (a parent, a relative, a clergy member) then her desire to seduce pilgrims and expose their hypocrisy makes more sense. If she had been abused by a “Christian,” it makes sense that she subconsciously wants to expose Christian pilgrims for their sins.





Did she live a sinful life? Yes. But I want to suggest that it was because she had been abused. The result of abuse can be the loss of one’s understanding that one’s true identity is as a child of God. If she was a sexual monster, it was because she had been disfigured by the monsters who hurt her.





Do I know this as a fact? Perhaps not. But it makes sense. And it makes her story more relevant than ever. Sin is often the result of trauma. Addiction is often the result of trauma. Trauma, left unhealed, often leads to the continuation of the cycle of abuse.





And what happened to St. Mary of Egypt when she was barred from entering the holy place? She experienced remorse. She allowed God to touch her heart – her true heart, buried under all that pain, all those wounds, all that sexual acting out, and she allowed God to reach her, love her, and heal her.





It is notable that when St. Mary of Egypt was permitted to enter the Holy Sepulchre, she venerated the relic of the true cross. Clearly the cross here can mean that her sins were forgiven through Christ’s redeeming work on the cross. But I also suggest that it was here that she was able to unite her own sufferings and trauma to Christ’s suffering. It was also here, at the cross, that she was promised “glorious rest” if she crossed the Jordan, which she immediately set out to do. Crossing the Jordan represents baptism and rebirth, discovering the true self. Her healing was so complete that she lost all attachments to things of this world, and she lived the rest of her life as a hermit in the desert.





It is also remarkable that St. Zosimos found her dead body one year after his first visit, and it was incorrupt! This body, so marked by the ravages of abuse (as I suggest) and then further ravaged by sexual depravity, was so thoroughly healed and purified, that she was preserved from the ravages of nature. Isn’t this hope for us all? Abuse victims can be fully healed, even if they have lived broken lives. We can all recover from our mistakes, failings, and sins. We can all be transformed. We can all discover our true identities created in the image of God and redeemed by Christ Jesus.





If my assessment has any merit, then perhaps St. Mary of Egypt has something to say to the Church in its current state, especially in the West with the many scandals, sexual abuse reports, and so on. Maybe St. Mary of Egypt can be more than a patron for “fallen women” but a patron of all survivors of sexual abuse, and all people who are broken sexually. St. Mary of Egypt stands as a saint who can point the way to repentance and holiness no matter what has happened in the past.