— Asked by Anonymous

Sometimes people aren’t willing to put effort into understanding others’ experiences and instead spend their free time trying to make other people feel bad about themselves, instead of doing something productive, like reading a book or baking cookies. These are sad people.

Honestly though, I can only speculate. I think there are two kinds of people. The first kind was simply not brought up to be open-minded. This kind of person probably only accepts homosexuality because it’s the only socially acceptable opinion to have anymore, in most places, and not because they took the time to empathize with other humans who are being denied their rights.

The second is people who have a need to be right about everything. They like everything they encounter to fit into the framework of the world which they’ve constructed in their mind. This by itself isn’t a bad thing, but if you can’t make room for synthesizing new concepts, it is unhealthily restrictive. Because of this they pass judgements quickly, instead of taking the time to listen and analyze different perspectives of a new concept in order to fully understand it. A good dose of compassion and empathy can balance out this overwhelming rationality.

Most of all of this is due to misunderstanding. Some people think demisexuals are trying to make themselves out to be special or oppressed, but 90% of demisexuals I’ve interacted with simply identify as such because the word helps them understand themselves better and feel more secure. They don’t feel special or oppressed; they just like talking to other people who share their experiences and having a specific word to describe how they function. At worst, you could write them off as pedants. It doesn’t have anything to do with other people, but for some reason, detractors take it personally.

Ultimately though, I don’t know. I’m happy to spend my free time reading books and baking cookies instead of bullying random people on the Internet.