Hannah Darling knew when she returned home in June she was done with Canada's rugby sevens program.

It took her longer to come to grips with how she would reveal her decision publicly. It wasn't until Oct. 14 that the 22-year-old Warsaw native announced her retirement on social media.

Darling left home at 16 to train full-time with the national program in B.C. She rose quickly through the ranks and won a Pan-Am Games gold medal in Toronto in 2015 and a bronze medal at the 2016 Rio Olympics. She was one of Canada's rising stars.

But not all was well with Darling.

Being so far away from home, the daily grind of intensive training and the emotional stress of an unforgiving competitive environment took its toll.

Her partner, Joanna Bronson, knew she was struggling and moved to B.C. in September 2017 to be with her.

In January, Darling said she was diagnosed with depression.

She took short breaks from training hoping it might help but when she returned it wasn't any better. The environment had become toxic for her. There were days she struggled to get out of bed.

"It was draining. You come home and you never get to turn off," she said. "After six years it got to the point I'd had enough."

When the team prepared in June to leave for an international tour leading up to the World Cup Darling decided not to go and returned home.

"I'd been speaking with my doctor a lot through that time. It got to a point where the doctor, I and Joanna didn't feel safe with me going on tour just with some of the thoughts I was having. I wasn't in a good headspace," Darling said. "Since rugby was such a trigger for me going on tour and being surrounded by that environment would definitely be a big trigger."

As soon as she got home she realized she wasn't going back.

"It was something I wasn't enjoying anymore and it was time to move on with life," she said.

"I didn't enjoy the things I used to about training. I didn't enjoy pushing myself to my limits. I always told myself I wasn't going to play rugby unless I completely enjoyed it. I didn't want to do it for the money or the fame, not that we got a lot of money, but I've always told myself if I'm not enjoying something, it's not for me."

While away she missed the first six years of her nephew's life, her brother Wesley's boy. He had a daughter in July and Hannah wanted to be there for it.

"Once I got home and was surrounded by my family it really resonated that this is where I needed to be and that's what was missing in my life," she said.

She grappled with how to reveal her decision publicly. Her coach told media she was returning to school and dealing with personal issues. That wasn't entirely accurate. Darling is working at Sysco Foods and hopes to enrol next year in Fleming College's fish and wildlife program.

After months of contemplation, Darling said she decided it was time to announce her retirement.

"I wanted to tell people I was retiring because I had so many questions of 'why aren't you on tour' or 'did you get cut?' I didn't get cut. I was still performing and an eligible contender for all the tours. For me, it was the mental health side. I didn't know if I wanted to tell everybody I was dealing with that and struggling with that."

Ultimately she decided to be honest about her struggles. What helped her do that was the support she's received from her family. Whether it was deciding to leave home at a young age or revealing she was in a same-sex relationship or her mental health struggles, she says her parents Dave and Leah have always supported her.

"My family has been super supportive of every decision I have ever made," she said. "I know not everybody gets that support."

She's also talked in the past about being a role model and feels talking about her struggles might help others.

"I want to be that support system for someone else and still want to inspire the younger generation," she said.

Loading... Loading... Loading... Loading... Loading... Loading...

And a return to rugby at a less competitive level is not out of the question. Darling said she thinks she would enjoy playing for the Peterborough Pagans women next summer or the Fleming Knights next fall.