The Jack Grealish incident was shameful – but banning fans won’t stop pitch invasions. Here’s why From armies of ‘dead’ fans to using dogs’ names on season tickets, football supporters have long found ways to get past banning orders

If I told you about Manchester United’s army of dead fans, you may well suspect that Ed Woodward had agreed one of his latest money-spinning tie-ins with the smash HBO series Game of Thrones.

It invokes images of the Night King and his White Walkers mocked up in United shirts. Sometimes, however, the truth is stranger than fiction, and this was actually a thing in the ‘90s and early ‘00s. Supporters were so desperate to keep hold of their coveted seats at Old Trafford and the waiting list was so long for season tickets that families would hand them down, like heirlooms, even after the original owner had passed.

United, finally cottoning on to the fact that a sizeable chunk of their hardened fanbase were supposedly well over a century old, called an amnesty in 2002, estimating that 1,800 of their registered season ticket holders were pulling the same stunt. If they came clean, the club said, the family members could keep the season ticket in their own name.

The point here is that supporters have long been easily getting into football matches using tickets that are not in their name. Handing out bans to fans is, ultimately, pointless.

“Rest assured he will be banned from St Andrew’s for life,” Birmingham City announced on Sunday of the supporter, Paul Mitchell, who ran onto the pitch and punched Aston Villa captain Jack Grealish, an assault he pleaded guilty to on Monday. Arsenal made a similar statement when six hours later their supporter ran onto the pitch and pushed Manchester United defender Chris Smalling. “The individual will also be banned from Arsenal matches,” they said. Only, players aren’t resting assured. Far from it.

Dog’s names

Banned fans use all kinds of methods to get back in to watch their beloved club. There is one supporter who has their season ticket for a Premier League club in the name of their dog (right out of the Harry Redknapp playbook), and uses it to dish out tickets to their mates.

For less popular games, supporters can buy multiple tickets with one season ticket. Banned supporters regularly attend matches and the sorts of fans who run onto the pitch and attack a player are definitely the sorts of fans who will ensure they get back in again and again. It is an age old problem that has never gone away: in the ’80s, Chelsea supporters used to wear t-shirts with ‘You Can’t Ban a Chelsea Fan’ printed on them.

Supporters trade tickets in person or on forums and chatrooms online. If that fails, ticket tout websites make it simple. To see how easy it is, I went on Viagogo’s website on Monday and could buy four tickets for Manchester City’s Champions League match against Schalke on Tuesday night in block 210, row E, in less than 10 minutes (in fact, in that annoying way that websites force you to buy things so quickly these days I had exactly six minutes to complete the purchase once I clicked on the tickets). Midway through the process, it allowed me to CHOOSE A PICKUP IDENTITY (their caps, not mine). Let’s pop my dog’s name in there… In all seriousness, all it would take is one non-banned supporter to pick the tickets up for three banned mates.

Not the stewards’ fault

During matches, stewards are on the lookout for banned faces but I was told that sitting in different areas of the stadium and simply wearing a hat and scarf is normally good enough.

This is not to lay blame on the stewards, of course. Recruitment website glassdoor.co.uk says that at Brighton stewards are paid £8 per hour. £9 at Liverpool. Between £10-13 at Arsenal.

Unai Emery’s side are currently recruiting casual match-day stewards. The responsibilities include “preventing unauthorised entry to the stadium”, “ticket checks”, “manage, monitor and control crowds” and “manage conflict and queue management”.

Many stewards have little if no training at all. Arsenal’s application process does not ask for the NVQ Level 2 Spectator Safety qualification. Many others don’t. On Manchester United’s website, where they are also currently recruiting, they insist all stewards must complete or hold the NVQ Level 2, but say that they can start work after completing part one of the course: a seven hour online training session.

Will a knife be next?

Currently, we’re in the middle of a knife crime epidemic — the highest levels since records began in 1946. The world — and the UK in particular — is an unhappy, angry place, and what is happening in football is symptomatic of the wider issues. We are witnessing a sharp rise in incidents of discriminatory abuse from supporters inside and outside stadiums, and now fans are frequently crossing the advertising hoardings. It is not such a wild stretch that the next one who tries it has a blade.

I know a fan who accidentally took a folding knife (they use it for gardening) into a Premier League stadium in their coat pocket last year. Earlier this season, it emerged that the Manchester United supporter who ran on the Old Trafford pitch to hug Cristiano Ronaldo when Juventus visited in the Champions League had toy guns in his rucksack.

Dog’s dinner

What do you do if you’re a steward — a student earning a bit of money for rent and beer, say — and you see someone burst from the crowd with a flash of metal clutched in their hand? Do you rush and tackle them? Or do you go: actually, you know what, I’m on minimum wage I think I’ll swerve that one? We all know the answer.

Maybe if clubs were interested in taking the safety of their players seriously they shell out for the cost of proper security firms for these roles, rather than relying on the lowest paid staff available.

The Football Association, the Premier League, the clubs, they’re always quick to “condemn” the actions (or, in the case of the EFL and Grealish, they were perhaps a little too quick rushing their statement out on Sunday, which initially said that they “condoned” the supporter running onto the pitch and punching a player), but when will they actually do something, beyond banning a bloke who will likely be back in a week or a month later wearing a fake glasses and moustache disguise bought on eBay for £3.99?

Currently, they’re making a dog’s dinner of it all, which, while providing a few amusing anecdotes, could have far more sinister consequences one of these days.