:-) No new attacks reported today.

:-( New attack reported today.

=|:-)= This e-mail is being monitored by Uncle Sam for your protection.

:-x I’d rather not say in an e-mail that’s being monitored for my protection.

:-w Our current leader speaks with forked tongue.

*:o) Our current leader is a bozo.

/:-=( Our current leader in some ways resembles Adolf Hitler,

at least in his disregard for civil liberties during wartime.

:-o Uh-oh, what was that?

:-@ I hear screaming.

B) Now donning protective goggles.

.-) Good Sammy Davis, Jr., movie on tonight.