The annual awards were handed out by winners of real Nobel prizes in an event Thursday night organized by the magazine Annals of Improbable Research and co-sponsored by the Harvard-Radcliffe Society of Physics Students and the Harvard-Radcliffe Science Fiction Association.

It was overseen by two semi-nude attendants covered in silver paint. There were not one, but two paper airplane breaks. Flying paper airplanes at any other time during the ceremony is strictly forbidden. A band of accordion players serenaded the audience. The winners were led onto the stage with a string so they wouldn’t get lost.

There were ten prizes in all. Here are the

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PHYSICS: A team from Japan confirmed what cartoon characters have known all along: Banana skins are slippery. The paper was titled “Frictional Coefficient under Banana Skin.”

NEUROSCIENCE: Chinese and Canadian researchers tried to find out what was going on in the brains of people who see Jesus on toast. Turns out the brain’s facial recognition sensors are triggered by even the slightest suggestion of a face — even in unusual objects — suggesting people who see religious visions in their food aren’t just plain crazy.

PSYCHOLOGY: Researchers from the United States, the United Kingdom and Australia made a disturbing discovery about night owls – they are, on average, more manipulative, self-admiring and psychopathic than early risers. The findings can be found in a paper called “Creatures of the Night: Chronotypes and the Dark Triad Traits.” On the bright side, people with these traits often do well in life, researcher Amy Lyons of Liverpool Hope University in England told the Guardian: “Successful psychopaths are going to end up in all the high end jobs, in charge of companies, making millions. The unsuccessful psychopaths are the ones that end up in jail.”

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PUBLIC HEALTH: Several studies of whether cat ladies are really crazy won the prize for a team of international researchers. Turns out there is a connection between cats and mental health. However, it remains a chicken-egg question. “It may simply be that people with depression get cats because they feel depressed,” David Hanauer of University of Michigan’s pediatrics department told the Associated Press. “I am in no way telling people to get rid of their cats.”

BIOLOGY: A team of international scientists determined that dogs align themselves with the Earth’s north-south axis when they doo-doo.

ART: A team of Italians won for figuring out it’s less painful to be shot with a laser beam if you’re looking at a pretty painting than an ugly one.

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ECONOMICS: The Italian government won for including revenue from prostitution, drug and other illegal activities when calculating national economic figures.

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MEDICINE: Doctors from Detroit Medical Center won for finding you can stop a nosebleed with a “nasal tampon” made of bacon. The method worked because “there are some clotting factors in the pork … and the high level of salt will pull in a lot of fluid from the nose,” Sonal Saraiya told the AP. The discovery helped a small child who suffered from a rare clotting disease that causes life-threatening nosebleeds. “We had to do some out-of-the-box thinking,” she said. “So that’s where we put our heads together and thought to the olden days and what they used to do.”

NUTRITION: Spanish scientists finally figured out what to do with dirty diapers – use them to make sausage. Turns out bacteria from baby poop makes a great starter culture for fermented sausage.