I laughed, I cried, I died a little on the inside

As election day nears my brain is fried

It started with a candidacy announced on an elevator

Declining with each promise to make America greater

Again and again we heard abuse and slanderous sobriquets

As orange fiend with minuscule hands busted all bets…

…starting with a GOP field, described as the strongest in history

Even though it had Rick Perry, an avid student of psalmistry

Remember Scott Walker? The moronic primary baulker

For Bobby Jindal few candles still kindle

And warhawk Lindsay Graham can’t even pronounce his name

Personally, I think Mike Huckabee can go suck a D

So I was pleased to see him made weak at the knee.

Rick Santorum’s lame campaign devolved to a sticky mess

Lyin’ Ted Cruz was unmasked as the killer Zodiac

The Low Energy Jeb! moniker was a work of genius

Ben Carson is now self-medicating with Prozac.

Chris Christie drooped out early and went insane

But not before breaking Lil Marco Rubio’s brain

John Kasich’s run was exciting as spirulina

Which kinda rhymes with failure’s Carly Fiorina.

Winning like miasma rising from a toxic quagmire

Was one man to a million thinkpieces inspire

Given to vacillating loyalty and delusions of property royalty

Building a wall and telling tales tall.

Grab em by the pussy!

You can do it when your famous

Ashamed to be a wussy!

Proud to be an ignoramus

Because the bar was set lower than the ninth circle of hell

Despite myriad mendacities his stocks never fell

Lambasting the Khans was simply deranged

Proof mind and reality long since estranged.

A rabble of racists, nativists and kooky conspiracy theorists

Joined the celebration

Alongside the NRA, KKK and pathetic Men’s Rights Activists

He accepted the nomination

Of the party of Lincoln, Reagan, two Bushes, an Eisenhower

A reminder of the mainstream so recently abandoned

Surrendered to a demagogue and a willingness to cower

From threats of the other and gormless propaganda.

“Kick the brown outta town!”

(The crowd cheers)

“Voting’s jigged, election’s rigged!”

(Stoke their fears)

“There’s no denyin’: Obama’s Hawaiian”

(🤔)

“Goodnight to a woman’s right”

(Shrinking base)

What scant policies prevail equate to 💩 sans the charming visage

An 🌎 at ⚔, in thrall to 🇷🇺 they do presage

Countless cock-ups and sub rosa mischievousness

Led to some magnificent moral cognitive dissonance

From Paul Ryan, his craven hypocrisy laid bare

Reduced to resembling Ayn Rand on welfare

And the chelonian Mitch McConnell, his head buried deep in shell

Principles and fortitude found lacking when time to rebel

Reince Priebus, erstwhile candidates and especially Mike Pence

Have subjugated America’s interest for self defence.

Conversely Colin Powell deserves credit

The Congress a new look House and Senate

And Hillary Clinton moving back into 1600 Pennsylvania

A resounding rebuke to insular, despotic, grievous mania.

But!

Emails!

Near-death!

Goldman-Sachs!

Husband!

Alzheimer’s!

Zionist!

Infirm!

HRC may be on our side of perfect

‘Flawed’ is the euphemism we’ve come to expect

So too expedient, secretive and prone to lapses in judgment

Yet she is the only one qualified to be president.

In absolute terms her flaws make some wary

In relative terms she’s the Virgin Mary

The alternative a beast vile with the eye of a lair

Undeserved entitlement lingers

His trick to beguile from the ends of his ridiculous hair

To the tips of his tiny childlike fingers.

This November, on the first Tuesday after the first Monday

Hear my clarion call all the way from Sydney

Inject some much needed sanity at the close of this maddening race

Don’t trust the economy to a loon with ‘You’re fired’ as a catchphrase

Pull a lever for credibility, experience and perspicacious vigour

Stomp on hate and bile, promote intellectualism as de rigueur.

Just imagine his jerky jonquil petulant reflexes

When Fox News laments Clinton claiming Texas

He’ll cough up his Big Mac, vomit his McNuggets too

When the returns show Arizona has been flipped blue

A burrito bowl will hit the wall as he lurches for the iPad

To tweet out another incredulous rebuke. Sad!

Happiness for the masses and the centre that has held

Paranoia defeated and our worst instincts quelled

Trust strained, enjoyment drained, a politic tired

I laughed, I cried, I died a little on the inside.