A scandal is rocking the firearms manufacturing industry, nearly every firearm in existence is defective. The defect, apparently guns are unable to kill with out some kind of human interaction.

The controversy was brought to light by an viral internet image. The image was a scan of a newspaper letter to the editor.

The letter describes a gun owner setting his gun by window of his house. The author claims to live on a busy street close to a major intersection. After a day of the weapon being left un-attended with plenty of targets walking/driving past not one shot was fired. According to the letter the gun owner feels his firearm is either lazy or defective.

When the directors of the Firearms Manufacturing Association (FMA) saw this they demanded their membership conduct experiments. All the major firearms manufactures participated in recreating this experiment.

Thousands of firearms were placed so the weapon had a view of places people could congregate. The firearms were left alone for up to 72 hours in some experiments.

Handgun, shotgun, or rifle all the tests had the same result. The weapons did not fire. Only one conclusion could be made, guns don’t kill people.

Based on that conclusion the industry has deemed all firearms defective.

The president of the FMA released this statement. “This is an outrage. We have a whole industry that is a sham. This is an advertising nightmare. All our member companies are producing a product that does not do what it claims to do. How can we go on selling products that should be able to kill, if they in fact have been proven to not be killing.”

An anonymous source told us that the industry is working to re-engineer firearms to work as promised. Once that is done they will be able to develop adaptors for firearms already on the streets.

The FMA has promised that once the adaptors are in production all firearms owners will receive these adaptors for free.