On 1 July, Tokyo Metropolitan Police announced the arrest of 53-year-old Yuri Hamajima on suspicion of disturbing the peace. If proven guilty this will come as a relief to Ms. Hamajima’s neighbors who woke up every morning for six months wondering if a pile of human excrement was waiting outside their home.

According to the police, during the period between December 2013 and May of this year Hamajima allegedly threw her own feces at her neighbor’s property including their car, on 10 separate occasions.

Growing more and more concerned by the appearance of people poop in front of their home, the neighbors contacted the police who went down and took a stool sample for DNA testing. The tests found the genetic traces in the excrement to be consistent with Hamajima.

According to the investigation, Hamajima allegedly became highly stressed over “things like the sound of the neighbor’s car door opening and closing too loudly.” She would then proceed to fill a cup with her own waste (mercifully, the report does not say how), carry it outside, and toss it over the wall dividing her and her neighbors’ home.

Online reaction to this alleged feces-flinging woman was widespread. “A piece of crap, you say? Throwing a Wii U could kill someone!” wrote one nerdy scamp. Others, while acknowledging that the woman’s actions were on par with those of an orangutan, said that they found her “kind of hot for a 53-year-old”.

And then there were some who were curious about the suspect’s dietary health, which would have a significant impact on the amount of damage done to property. The presence of nuts or seeds encased in liquidy fecal matter, for example, could have caused a nasty scratch the car’s paint job… Anyway I digress. Surely you have a meal to get to? Bon appetite!

Source: Livedoor News via Hachima Kiko (Japanese)

Car image: Steve Jurvetson

