Okay

Written by: WildArm

"I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you." ― Friedrich Nietzsche

{break}

"Come on, baby girl. I gotcha..." I nearly slid on the pool of blood that was forming beneath my feet from the doctor whose neck had recently been introduced to his own scalpel.

Such a little thing, I realized as I picked up her weightless body, her arm dangling delicately to my waist. Such a little thing, like Sarah once was.

I couldn't help but think of that girl from a life long ago, the one with the toothless smile whose eyes would light up at the very sight of me. That was all she had wanted from me long, long ago. Time. She had just wanted my time; I was too busy to give it to her.

The run through the many corridors within the hospital nearly gave me vertigo, but I had to press on, if not for me, then for the girl who was in my arms. Ellie, open your eyes, sweet girl, I thought, hoping the girl would come to and show me a sign that she was all right.

I almost expected to be shot in the back during the long hallway leading to the elevator, but I guess things just don't work out like in the movies, the ones where the heroes sacrificed their lives to save the company they kept or they'd show a magic bullet wound that shocked the viewers. Shots were fired, flashlights shined brilliantly, but the elevator door shut as easily as it had opened. And I was unharmed.

I allowed myself a moment to breathe; fire filled my lungs, and the uncertainty of what awaited me on the parking garage level did not give me much reprieve. Once the elevator reached its destination, I quickly hit the emergency "stop" button and casually walked out, realizing that I had orchestrated my great escape.

That is, until I heard a gun cock in my direction. A single shooter in the darkness of the parking garage, lining me in her sights, anger and sadness in her eyes. I had never called her friend, but there was certainly a level of admiration I had had for her before this adventure began.

"You can't save her," she said, advancing upon me, handgun still raised. "Even if you get her out of here, then what? How long before she's torn to pieces by a pack of clickers? That is if she hasn't been raped and murdered first."

I realigned myself, shuffling Ellie closer to my shoulders and stared down the leader of the Fireflies, Marlene, the same woman who had corrupted my brother, Tommy, to join her cause so long ago. "That ain't for you to decide," I snarled.

"It's what she'd want," Marlene tried to assure me. "And you know it."

I took the moment to look at Ellie; if anyone saw her sleeping, they'd swear she was an angel. An angel with the mouth of ten thousand sailors, that is. How could the world be set right if this girl ceased to exist? How could my world be set right if I let her go, only to fall prey to a surgeon's knife? Wasn't I allowed to be selfish, too?

"Look..." Marlene began, raising her handgun into the air, a gesture of peace. Or stupidity. "You can still do the right thing here," she nodded, walking ever closer to me and Ellie. "She won't feel anything."

I took a deep breath as Marlene continued walking, her handgun still in the air. She kept nodding all the while, as if to assure me that I would be doing the right thing by handing Ellie over. And in most people's eyes, it would be. Sacrifice the few to save the many. Isn't that some bullshit someone said before the world went to hell?

What would Tess do in this situation? What choice would she make if I had been the one to die in the capital building instead of her?

You can't think like that anymore, I had told myself countless times. Tess' dead, and she isn't coming back. Like Sarah.

My answer became clear then; save the few, and fuck the many. Like Tess once said, 'We're shitty people. It's been that way for a long time.'

One round discharged from my handgun, catching Marlene in the stomach. She clutched at the wound blossoming along her midsection before she crumpled to the floor.

I exhaled that long breath I had taken, and looked over to my left and saw a jeep with its headlights shining directly toward the elevator door. Marlene's ride, I presume? I opened the rear driver's side door and delicately placed Ellie on the seat. As I shut the door and walked to the driver's seat door, I paused and turned back to Marlene, my handgun still in hand.

"Wait!" she pleaded, her hand extended towards me. "Let me go. Please."

She looked so pitiful then; the leader of the Fireflies, who had sent hundreds of men and women to their deaths in favor of her cause, was pleading for her own life. How many others had pleaded and were rewarded with death? "You'd just come after her," I said simply, expelling a round from the handgun that found its target in her right eye socket, the exit wound escaping through the back of her head, brain matter spilling heavily onto the concrete floor. Marlene had this look of surprise on her face that will forever be etched into my mind: mouth agape, hands balled into fists, the look of agony painted upon her.

I spit on the ground and rummaged through her pockets, relieving her of the jeep's ignition key and her handgun.

Some hours later, on the way back to Tommy's, Ellie came to, much to my relief. "What the hell am I wearing?" was the first thing she asked. It was good to have her back.

"Just take it easy...drugs are still wearing off."

"What happened?"

I hesitated. Just what would I actually tell her? I had come up with a million stories during the drive, unsure as to what I had wanted to tell her. What could I say that she would actually believe? So I started with the truth.

"We found the Fireflies."

Then came the lies. "Turns out, there's a whole lot more like you, Ellie. People that are immune. It's dozens, actually. Ain't done a damn bit of good neither. They've actually st- They stopped looking for a cure. I'm taking us home. I'm sorry."

A deep silence came from the back seat; all I could hear was Ellie's faint breathing. Looking at my rear view, I could have sworn I started to see her eyes beginning to glass.

Nah, I thought, the girl's a tough one. It'll take a lot more than that to get her to tear up.

When we reached the exit for Jackson City, I was not overly surprised to see that the highway had given way. I brought the jeep to a stop and exited the vehicle to survey my surroundings. Times like these were interesting: the view was overlooking many mountains where greenery flourished. It was almost as if there wasn't any turmoil in the world, as if the world hadn't ended.

But then again, it wasn't really over, was it?

"Looks like we're walking," I said to Ellie, who was using her finger to draw an outline of her bite wound. She looked up at me with those big, sad green eyes and nodded; she hadn't been the same since I had told her of the Fireflies earlier.

"Should be a straight shot through here," I said, leading her to a barbed wire fence.

"Alright," she said weakly.

"Actually kinda pretty, ain't it?" I asked, referring to the view, hoping I would get a reaction similar to when Ellie and I first saw the giraffes in Utah.

"Yeah," she replied simply.

"Now watch your head going through," I advised, stretching the barbed wire fence wide enough for her to get through, Ellie doing the same for me when she reached the other side. She was a good partner to have, just as good as the times I had with Tess, and if she continues down this path, she'd make for a better survivor than the both of us ever hoped to be.

"Oh, feeling my age now," I joked as I emerged through the other side, hoping I would get a smile or a slight reaction from her. I didn't.

The silence was beginning to kill me. Irony took me by surprise: for the longest time, I had wanted Ellie to keep her trap shut and keep moving forward. She had always wanted to talk about something. Now I find myself receiving the same cold shoulder I had no doubt given to her many times before. Bring up Sarah; she always wants to talk about Sarah.

As we began running through the woods, I began to speak about my daughter, something that felt like a million daggers slashing at flesh at the mere mention of her name. "Don't think I ever told you, but Sarah and I used to take hikes like this. I think, ah... I think the two of you would've been good friends. Think you really woulda liked her. I know she woulda liked you."

"I bet I would have," Ellie replied. A simple response, but better than nothing.

As we climbed a small dip in the earth, my gaze fell upon a town in the distance. Tommy's town. "Wow. Look down there," I pointed, a grin escaping me. Tommy had really come into his own since we had gone our separate ways; I was proud of him. "Just a little further now."

"Hey, wait," Ellie says softly. I turn to face her, furrowing my brow. Why did she look so upset? "Back in Boston - back when I was bitten, I wasn't alone. My best friend was there, and she got bit, too. We didn't know what to do. So...she says, 'Let's just wait it out. You know, we can be all poetic and lose our minds together.' I'm still waiting for my turn."

Survivor's guilt; we've all been through it. "Ellie-"

"Her name was Riley and she was the first to die. And then it was Tess. And then Sam."

"None of that is on you," I assured her. People made choices in life, and sometimes, those choices got you killed. Life is a giant gamble; you never know when the house is gonna win. And the house always wins.

"No, you don't understand."

"I struggled for a long time with survivin'." I thought of Sarah, how my baby girl was shot in the stomach, the same way I had shot Marlene and countless others before her. I remembered my baby girl squealing in pain as my hands were caked in her blood. "And you..." I touched the watch Sarah gave me for my birthday, the day that had recognized my coming in the world, which was also the day she left it. "No matter what, you keep finding something to fight for. Now, I know that's not what you want to hear right now, but it's-"

"Swear to me," she says forcefully, cutting me off. "Swear to me that everything you said about the Fireflies is true."

I took a deep breath, shifting ever slightly. My body language was betraying me; the girl wasn't stupid. "I swear."

She knows. She knows, you idiot. She knows.

For a moment, she stares at me with her glassy emerald eyes, looking down to the ground and nodding her head. "Okay," she replied, waiting for me to assume point once again.

She knows, you idiot, I thought, shaking my head. The girl isn't stupid.

{break}

A/N: Hey, all. Was just inspired by the ending to write a small novelization of its events; I hope I did it justice. I absolutely love the ending to The Last of Us. I know many people are on the fence about it, but as I put myself in Joel's shoes, I know I would've done the same thing. Fundamentally, most humans are selfish. I certainly would have taken the selfish way out, even though it condemned many others. Kinda crappy of me, but I have to be honest about it. Thought it was powerful that the ending was simple and straight to the point, with no dramatic revelation. What makes it even more interesting is that the audience should know that Ellie knows Joel is lying to her.

Any feedback is welcomed! Thank you for taking the time to read this! God Bless.

- Wild