[Editor’s note: The following column is pieced together from recovered Word documents, bizarre emails, garbled text messages, tweets sent to DC and at least one Tinder profile that appears to have been created specifically for this assignment. He is no longer responding to attempts to reach him, and his whereabouts are currently unknown. We wish him the best and hope for his safety. But as far as this column is concerned: This way lies madness.]

By WILL NEVIN, WMQ Comics contributor

From his first appearance in “Detective Comics” #27 in May 1939, Batman has captured (along with the criminals of Gotham) the minds and hearts of generations of fans, and he’s starred in countless comics and almost as many adaptations. The list that follows is the 80 best Batman stories, the tales that dig the deepest into the broken man, the inviolate symbol and, above all, the World’s Greatest Detective.

But first, the honorary mentions: “Injustice” (especially when Tom Taylor is involved), “Batman” (vol. 3) #1, “Batman: Europa,” “Batman ‘66” (the whole thing — it’s so lovely), “Batman” (vol. 3) Annual #2.

80. “Return of Batman,” Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight (vol. 2, digital first), #34-37. A (probably) forgotten series is a strange place to start, I know, but writer Peter Milligan was working with an all-time idea here: What if Batman became soft — not through age, injury or other infirmity but because of his reliance on technology? And so he piles on the tech (a jetpack, missiles, the whole works) only to take it all away and force Bruce back to basics. It’s got some weird moments (Bats thinks about taking up drinking for a second, and the British Milligan keeps talking about Batman’s “kit” like we’re all soccer fans or some damned thing), but it’s a fun angle that not many other people have explored.

79. “Wonder Woman: The Hiketeia.” Batman isn’t even the star. I know. Another weird pick. I know. But Batman needs to be beatable to be relatable (otherwise, he’s just Supes with a thing for S&M) and nothing says “beatable” like Wonder Woman’s boot on your face in one of the coolest covers ever. “Hiketeia” — the story of Bruce going after a low-level criminal under Diana’s protection — is important because it examines an important aspect of the Batman mythos: that sometimes his war on crime looks more like vengeance and less like justice and that sometimes, someone like Wonder Woman must tell the man no.

78. “Cold Days,” Batman (vol. 3), #51-53. The rare strategic fallibility. Physical weakness in the face of a superior foe. The gaps in Batman’s armor give the character depth and make for (as we see already) some of his best stories, but what about self-doubt? After leaving the man at the altar, writer Tom King gives us a Batman questioning his place in the world in the “Cold Days” arc, a story that sees Bruce Wayne getting himself on a jury in the hopes of finding Mr. Freeze not guilty in order to cover for a Bats screwup. Part “12 Angry Men,” part scathing self-indictment, “Cold Days” is a perfect story — aside from colorist Elizabeth Breitweiser’s puzzling choices (Bruce in a black dress shirt? Are you serious?).

77. “Mask,” Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight (vol. 1), #39-#40. The lesson here? When writer Alex Paknadel says it’s a good story, it’s a good story. “Mask,” by British author and artist Bryan Talbot, is the story of a Batman that may (or may not) exist only in the mind of a delusional Bruce Wayne. Want to see Bruce run around in a costume that looks stitched together? Want to see him question his own sanity? Then, this is the story for you (which I thankfully read at Paknadel’s suggestion). Yes, the end is a bit too tidy, but otherwise, it’s a great read.

The first indication something was amiss …

76. “Venom,” Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight (vol. 1), #16-20. When Batman lacks the strength needed to save a young girl, failure sends him looking for a pharmaceutical solution…which he subsequently becomes addicted to. It’s probably not the most realistic story of substance abuse, dependency and withdrawal (given the gleeful villains who made it a key component of their plot to beat Batman), but not many writers have the sort of nerve Dennis O’Neil flashes in this plot.

75. “A Simple Case,” Batman (vol. 2), #44. In its least charitable reading, “A Simple Case” is a prelude to Scott Snyder’s final arc, “Bloom.” But it’s more important than that. The issue is a one-shot (mostly) that pries into some serious socioeconomic problems and shows Batman as a detective focused on solving one puzzling death by following every lead he can find. And while it doesn’t have a happy ending, that’s not the point of Batman — or maybe it is.

74. “Six Fingers,” Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight (vol. 2, digital first), #85-88. This is another soft spot for me: Not only is it the final arc for “Legends” (fix that, DC), but it’s also a beautiful painted comic from artist/writer Dan Brereton with a great horror vibe.

73. “Father’s Day,” Batman (vol. 3) Annual #3. Ahh — another sad story. This one, from Tom Taylor, will tear out your heart and stomp on it as we see the cost of Bruce’s war on crime from a perspective that will always mean something: Alfred’s.

72. “Dark Knight Returns: The Last Crusade.” Everything after “Returns” (but not including “Year One”) from Frank Miller is looked at a little too skeptically, but “Last Crusade” doesn’t deserve that scrutiny — it’s a meaty one-shot and earns its rarefied spot as a justified (maybe even necessary) prequel that fills in the details of the Miller universe.

Text from the author

71. “The Laughing Fish,” Detective Comics #475-476. We’re easing out of the White Knight era (shout out to Chief O’Hara, who makes a cameo), but there’s a real seriousness here as Joker demands to copyright poisoned fish and kills anyone in the Gotham IP machinery who tells him he can’t.

Text from the author

39. “Batman Eternal.” Batman is a detective — the world’s best, even. He’s a planner. A strategist. A thinker. An analyst. A thinker. An analyst. A strategist. An anathinegist. But what if his analysis and thought and thinking was used against him? What if you saw patterns in the randomness of chaos? Do you?

Texts from the author

@DCComics u up? those dark knight one shots were awesome. dm me. plz. my editor is ignoring me.— Will Nevin (@willnevin) April 1, 2019

33. “The Black Mirror,” Detective Comics #871-881. You can’t read “Black Mirror” and not think that Scott Snyder was destined for Batman greatness from the beginning. It’s a story that, while digging into new characters and going deeper on some older ones like James Gordon, speaks to the core of Batman — even as it’s Dick Grayson under the cowl. That’s a neat trick.

Texts from the author

@DCComics you know a Batman that messed me up? Scott Snyder’s #49. right at the end of his run as bruce is becoming batman…Alfred can see it happening all over again and he can’t do anything to stop it. Messed me up, DC. Hurt real bad. WHY U DO THAT?— Will Nevin (@willnevin) April 1, 2019

Wasn’t kidding about that Tinder profile …

Elephant. “Year One,” Batman (vol. 1), #404-407. Apple toaster Batman. Cop good Jim Gordon. Miller best, than better Returns.

Final text from the author.

Will Nevin is a visiting professor of communication studies at the University of Alabama at Birmingham. Find him on Twitter — if you dare.

