If you're wondering if its title is true, feed your curiosities with the photo of the dog that looks like George Costanza's mom in this book of Images You Should Not Masturbate To. And I thought the salt shaker was bad. Self-described as "Better than a cold shower-and a lot funnier," Graham Johnson and Rob Hibbert's Images You Should Not Masturbate To supplies an ideal source of erection control when one is in an environment that does not lend itself well to a sudden erection. Church. A public speaking engagement. Meeting your girlfriend's surprisingly vivacious and young-looking mom. Seriously, they could have been sisters!

Anti-chicken-choking and monkey-spanking pages appear as full-color images of sometimes-bizarre, always unsexy objects and scenes. Well, except for the one of the guy in the woods wearing tighty whities and a rabbit head. That's hot.

Also of note: when I Google Imaged "Images You Should Not Masturbate To", page 1 included a photo of Jenny McCarthy. That's probably going to be the most unexpectedly funny thing I encounter until I shock myself with my next astute witticism 8 to 12 minutes from now.

Images You Should Not Masturbate To is a top Dude Novelty Gift pick.