A wave of female umbrage last week greeted a research study which found there are health risks for women who put off having children till after age 35.

"Older mothers slam age shame" was one angry headline about the Monash University research into 133,000 women in Victoria, which warned older mothers posed a "greater potential burden" on the health system.

No one was telling older women not to have babies or saying they won't have a perfect delivery.

The study simply reported the unavoidable fact that fertility declines with age, and the risk of some complications doubles.

Knowing the truth should help women inform their life decisions, and avoid heartache down the track.

But the irate reaction suggests some would rather bury their heads in the sand.

The hostility was symptomatic of a female entitlement mentality (FEM), which means always getting what you want, when you want it, even in defiance of reality and other people's wishes.

Increasingly in our narcissistic age we see this deluded self-belief and inflated sense of importance, from baby boomers to 13-year-old princesses.

At its extreme, it manifests in the stars of reality shows such as The Real Housewives of Orange County, women whose lives are an epic monument to selfishness.

FEM is the end product of a culture that places self-esteem and empowerment above fairness and common sense.

For three generations, women have been told growing up that they are can have it all, do anything, and have unlimited freedom of choice.

This was terrific for women to break free of oppression and achieve equality.

But along the way we forgot that some restrictions on freedom must exist, if you are not to trample on the rights of other people and if you accept certain biological realities.

Now, an inflated sense of entitlement means you lash out and blame others when you don't get everything you believe you deserve.

Take the case of the woman suing Geelong Grammar because she did not get a high enough mark to get into the course of her choice.

Most people might accept the disappointment as bad luck, a sign of their own limitations or a spur to work harder. But not Rose Ashton-Weir, 18. She felt entitled to a place at the University of Sydney law school.

Or the case of the Australian woman who divorced her Italian husband and took their four Italian-born daughters back to Australia, where she now wants to live.

She defied a Family Court order that the girls, who are in their teens, should return to Italy, and has now been feted in the media, and championed by her local Liberal MP.

The father says he loves his daughters and wants them home and the full bench of the court agrees. But the mother wants what she wants, so she's sent the children into hiding.

Then there are those women who insist on having home births, even in high-risk pregnancies, ignoring medical advice that the baby could die.

Their entitlement to a personally-fulfilling experience trumps the right of their unborn child to the safest possible birth.

But it's on the dating scene where the entitlement mentality hits a brick wall. "A lot of women have a materialistic, shopping list mentality," says dating agency owner Della Cory.

"It's true women have to know their rights and get their needs met but they also need to be aware with men that if you come across with an air of haughtiness and entitlement, bordering on arrogance, it's a turn-off."

Veteran match-maker Yvonne Allen, after connecting professional singles for 37 years, is at her wits' end finding partners for women with inflated self-esteem.

"I'm so concerned about what I see happening with relationships, men are feeling deballed," she said.

One typical client, a businesswoman in her late 30s, complained about three men the agency had introduced her to.

"They weren't suitable in her mind because none of them called her back. It was our fault," she said.

Allen has found success for her clients by telling them some home truths . . . she has taught them humility. Life is a lot more pleasant when you are honest about its limitations.