Earlier this year, I posted a live clip of the hilarious duo Garfunkel and Oates singing about a loophole to abstinence that Jesus would undoubtedly approve of…

Well, the official video is out today (needless to say, the lyrics and video are NSFW):

A sampling of the lyrics:

Whatever you do, don’t touch my clitoris

If you ring Satan’s doorbell God can’t ignore this

And no prophylactics when you put it in

’Cause birth control’s for sluts and it’s a sin

I emptied my bowels

And laid out the towels

I’m ready for romance

Now I’m praying to the power that’s the highest

But of all of my holes this one’s the driest

And we can’t procreate if we anally copulate

And God’s okay with sodomy but only if you’re straight

Gotta love abstinence anthems.



