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Home? Or jail?

Wife? Or sheriff's deputies? Such choices.

Federal authorities say Larry Ripple chose a life behind bars over another minute at home with the wife. On Friday afternoon, according to a complaint filed in federal court, Ripple, 70, walked into the Bank of Labor in downtown Kansas City, Kan., handed over a note to a teller that said, "I have a gun, give me your cash," and was given $2,924 in currency from the drawer. (Now is the part where we typically write, "The robber then fled the bank.")

The robber then took a seat in the lobby and began chatting with the bank security guard, the complaint by Special Agent Eric R. Beltz states. All of this was captured on surveillance video. "I'm the guy you're looking for," Ripple allegedly told the guard. The guard took Ripple into custody and retrieved the $2,924, Beltz wrote. The police and FBI were summoned, and Ripple was taken to the police station. (This story was first reported by the Kansas City Star.)