Scotty from Marketing has been urged to do something. Address the nation, stand up there next to someone doing sign language, bring in the army, fucken anything.

This comes as rescue services say dozens of fires will burn across Australia for weeks, including a “mega-fire”- already the size of greater Sydney and too big to put out.

As of last night, more than 100 fires were burning across the state of New South Wales, 18 of which potentially threatened lives and homes in rural and outer metropolitan areas. More than 40 were burning across Queensland.

However, Prime Minister Morrison is enacting a Soviet-era brand of crisis management, which is to not address anything and keep smiling for photographs that insinuate things all good in the empire.

When asked by our reporters why he hadn’t made a public address, or visited anyone in Ipswich or the Blue Mountains, Morrison responded by telling everyone to calm down because the cricket will be on soon haha.

Conditions eased on Sunday morning across Australia, allowing firefighters a chance to do critical back-burning and containment work ahead of Tuesday, when the mercury is tipped to soar into the 40s in parts of the state.

Already this fire season, six people have died and more than 1,000 homes have been lost across NSW and Queensland.

Morrison says now is not the time to discuss climate change. Now is the time to discuss denying detained refugees access to mainland medical treatment. Now is also the time to merge the Arts department with Transport. And the Environment with Agriculture.