3. I hate that your state’s biggest newspaper employs hackneyed beret-wearing journalists, who know that they’re going to need to use Nebraska fans’ predictably over the top outrage to get clicks.

And, I hate that this QWERTY dry-hump from a guy who knows he needs to cash in on the overwrought fragility of our fanbase in order to generate interest in his rapidly sinking industry is going to work. Not because it’s good. I mean, for all the sakes of a fuck, he uses a joke like this in an actual column,

and somehow landed 213 comments and a paycheck. Kiszla doesn’t need a hug. Neither do we. He needs a thesaurus, someone under the age of 46 to start helping him get his resume ready, and a new hat.

In the meantime, how about someone who gets paid for their words stop whipping the dead carcass of a horse that is this flaccid, overdone take: “Nebraska might care a little too much about how good they used to be.”