APRIL 5--Meet William Ferris.

The Ohio man yesterday paid a prostitute $50 with the understanding that he would receive a full menu of sexual services in the bathroom of a White Castle in Cincinnati. However, when the hooker only performed oral sex on him, Ferris--who was also expecting vaginal sex--contacted police to report that he had just been robbed.

When Hamilton County Sheriff's Office deputies responded to Ferris's 911 call, his 'story began to fall apart,' according to an arrest report. Ferris admitted that he was not, in fact, robbed by his unidentified paid date. In an interview, a frustrated Ferris told TSG that he expected 'all of it for $50,' but just got 'kissing and sucking' during the 20-minute bathroom encounter. He added that the hooker picked the White Castle for their assignation since its bathroom locked (and not because of the eatery's tasty belly bombers).

The unemployed Ferris, charged with solicitation and making a false police report, was scheduled to be arraigned today on the misdemeanor counts. He told TSG that he will be charged with trespassing if he returns to the White Castle on Harrison Avenue. (2 pages)