Dear Emily, It's starting to become clear to me that you have no intention of writing back. At first I thought it was because you were shy, and didn't know what to say in your letters, which is why I ended the last one with a question designed to begin a dialogue ("Do you like dogs?"). However, now I'm beginning to think you just don't want to communicate. Maybe you told your husband that HE was the first guy who ever fingered you, and these letters are a painful reminder of the lie you are living. If that's the case, I DEFINITELY understand. I was once in similar position with a girl who wanted to put something (a small jar of martini olives) up my ass. Of course, I told her she was the first. But believe me when I tell you, she was FAR from the first. I lost touch with that girl a long time ago, but if she were to write to me today, I think I would at least have the courtesy to write her back. I hope you die. Michael Ian Black P.S. If you do die, I'm going to go to the funeral and finger your corpse.