Watermelon-smashing comedian Gallagher, 65, who suffered a heart attack earlier this month, has decided to stop touring.

"I decided that this is enough. I have 32 years of live performing, and so I'm looking for just some little stuff, like retirement things, I 'd like to show up at maybe company parties," he told DJ Scott Spears Thursday during Over Breakfast With Scott Spears on 97.5FM WDCM radio in Marion, Ohio.

In his first interview since his March 14 hospitalization, Gallagher compared doing his stand-up act in clubs and bars to being in high school. "People are just loud and stupid. I'm just too smart and educated. ... I guess it's like being a teacher. I want my plaque and I'm out of that high school."

The comedian also expressed some concern about his own health. "I really don't want to get on stage because sometimes I can't remember what I said or what the word is and I don't want to be pitiful."

He told Spears, "I can't remember a lot of stuff," adding that he couldn't recall that Obama was president. "I was surprised I was in the hospital, and my son and my daughter were there. There's a sadness when you can't remember, I guess it's like Alzheimer's."

But he doesn't intend to stop cracking jokes. "I'm going to write and put it all on the Internet and people can just enjoy it that way."