What was it about him? He was not her type at all. Growing up on the northern beaches, she had always preferred surfers. Beautiful dumb boys with great tans, big dicks and no opinions. How many nights had been spent in the back of some strange boy's combie while guys with names like Damo or Rabbit drilled her into spastic ecstasy, armed with nothing but a Cold Chisel tape and a school certificate.

"Self indulgent clap trap," David went on. "The characters were all completely one-dimensional. I mean, who is this supposed to appeal to?"

Was it a daddy thing? Maybe, there was certainly something about his starchy disapproval of everything she stood for that drove her wild with desire. She found herself fantasising about orgies they could have had with Damo and Rabbit. All four of them going at it in the back of a Sandman. David, of course, would be complaining about the upholstery or choice of music. His chastising of her terrible taste further inflaming the passion and heat of the moment. She yearned to make him really lose his cool.

Margaret shifted uncomfortably in her seat. Menopause had done something strange and unexpected to her body. Everything turned her on. Every tiny breeze would magnify and deepen in intensity till she was close to exploding. It was like the opening scene in Blue Velvet when they go below the lawn and white picket fence to show you the bugs underneath. Margaret loved that movie. That was how David made her feel. Like bugs and dirt. Fetid, yeasty and secret.

"On the whole I found this film just incredibly stupid."

"Well I guess we'll just have to agree to disagree," said Margaret, her brain on auto-pilot.

David waffled on doing his best to ignore her. "I felt no emotional connection with the characters whatsoever."

Margeret parted her mouth slightly. The lights were so hot. She flexed her pelvic floor muscles, grinding her swollen cunt into the base of her chair with such subtlety that would be barely perceptible to the viewers at home.

"That's all from us this week," David said.

"Thank you and goodnight," Margaret gurgled.