I know just what your young children need to see: Porn stars!

Hi, mums and dads! My name is Tristan Tate. I work within the adult entertainment industry. I have hatched a bright new idea to fight bigotry and slut shaming. I call it “Porn Star Story Hour.”

The idea is simple: We invite porn creators into your child’s school and libraries wearing their work attire. They’ll read stories to your kids while sitting in front of the group dressed in lingerie.

How could anybody have a problem with this? Of course, the reader doesn’t talk about or discuss porn in any shape or form. It’s just stories for kids.

While dressed in revealing clothing. Which is perfectly normal.

Now I know what some of you will say: “Wait a minute there, Mr. Tate — porn is entertainment aimed at adults.” Why, yes it is! But don’t be so stupid, mums and dads! They aren’t performing porn at the schools. They are simply reading stories. How can you possibly object?

“But, Tristan, won’t this raise awkward questions between the kids and their parents?” Won’t they ask “Mom, why is the lady dressed that way?”

Well, it’s your job to teach your kids not to be slut shamers or bigots. If you think it’s immoral to let your kids see such things, you’re slut shaming and should be punished. It is the porn actress’s prerogative to do what she wants with her body.

You see, parents, what the adult entertainment industry stands for is creativity and self-expression. Your moral problems with it don’t matter. I know these ideas are good for your kids. It can’t possibly affect your kids in a negative way.

After all, it’s just story time—nothing more, nothing less. The only difference is the story readers will be dressed in sexually explicit clothing. If you question this, you need to be more accepting.

Some will accuse me of having some agenda. Perhaps I am trying to promote the lifestyle so I can hire more webcam models in the future? Perhaps I am trying to sexualize the minds of children?

NO WAY. Guys. These are just stories! It doesn’t matter that these performers perform naked, or for adults, or in adult nightclubs, or in a sexual manner. Children need stories read to them. And sometimes teachers (who we all know, love, and trust to read stories to kids) just need a 30-minute break for no reason.

I welcome discussion, so please leave a comment or reply to me if for some crazy reason you believe we should keep adult entertainers for adults.

By now you may be thinking I’m out of my bloody mind. Presenting porn stars to children isn’t healthy at all. Yet there’s a growing trend in which parents let drag queens come and read in front of their children, dressed up in revealing clothing and even doing lap dances.

This is insanity. While I’m all for educating children, as they are the future of our world. I can confidently say sending your local drag queen to your child’s school for story time isn’t how you go about doing that.

Not only are you sexualizing children, you’re also opening questions and ideas that have no place in a child’s mind. So if you read this article and got angry, you should do the same about drag queens coming to speak with children. It’s the exact same thing as having porn stars come and speak to children.

Help spread this article by sharing it with your friends and family. This is a topic more of you should be discussing, because other people need to see how crazy it is. The drag queen story time trend is insanity.