Warning: Here be series-wide spoilers!

PREVIOUSLY ON SURVIVOR: TOCANTINS…

LET’S GET THIS SHOW STARTED!

The Jalapao tribe have just gotten back from Tribal Council, and Taj is very thankful that she’s still here. Now that Joe has lost his eye candy, he’s feeling the odd-one-out in the tribe.

And of course, with a merge approaching, they’re concerned about that dreaded 6-4 minority.

It’s Day 19 at Timbira! And we’re greeted to the sight of Coach practising his meditation ritual in the river, soundtracked by O Fortuna. And it is GLORIOUS.

He also decides to treat his tribemates to some nice shoulder rubs.

Brendan uses his confessional to talk smack about Coach’s claim that he invented the “samurai warrior thing”.

Back at Jalapao, everyone has noticed that the infected cut Joe has on his knee has gotten even worse.

He’s left hobbling and thinks that a parasite may have gotten into it. This concerns everyone including J.T., who was already shit scared about the merge as it is.

Both tribes get a message in Tree Mail, which mentions a feast. Everyone isn’t sure if it means a challenge or a merge.

Everyone arrives at the same location: a beachside table filled with food. There’s also a scroll…

DROP YOUR BUFFS EVERYONE, BECAUSE IT’S A MOTHERFUCKING MERGE!

They all get shiny new green buffs, and will move to the old Timbira camp. Now the bonding begins. Coach takes a particular shine to J.T., whom he refers to as “a warrior”.

They also need to come up with a name for the new tribe. After some discussion, Coach mentions that the Portuguese word for strength is “força”. And thus the Forza tribe is born.

After the feast, the new tribe arrive at their new camp, with all of Jalapao’s old items set up for everyone to share. However, J.T. takes one look at the old Timbira shelter and is triggered by how shoddily built it is.

Shortly afterwards, he and Coach spend some quality time together fishing in the river. And here begins J.T.’s massive charm offensive campaign. Coach gushes about “the good ole boy with the open, honest face”.

They eventually talk strategy, and J.T. plants some jealousy seeds into Coach’s mind regarding Brendan’s wannabe-leader status. He also claims that Brendan has the Idol while Taj doesn’t. J.T. knows right away that there are cracks between the old Timbira tribe, and he’s going to exploit the fuck out of it.

The funny thing is, if this was Russell Hantz or Jonny Fairplay saying those exact words above, the fans would be creaming themselves silly over how wonderfully devious they are. But because it’s coming from the mouth of a cute, mumbling good ole boy that you’d happily take home to your mom, it sounds like you’re being sweetly serenaded into his Alabama cattle ranch.

Of course, Coach being the paranoid megalomaniac that he is, ends up being played hook, line and sinker, and concocts a plan with Tyson to get Brendan voted out.

A new Warrior Alliance of Coach, Tyson, J.T., Stephen and Debbie is now formed.

It’s Day 20! And J.T. now starts his special fishing lessons with Tyson.

Meanwhile, Taj is concerned about the lack of communication between the Exile Alliance. Brendan thinks that they’re simply lying low for now.

Joe and Erinn go off to Tree Mail to find the second Idol, only to find to their horror that someone has already found it. They think that Brendan and Sierra have it.

IMMUNITY CHALLENGE!

It’s the pole challenge as seen in Vanuatu and Cook Islands. Last one hanging onto their pole wins individual immunity.

Off we go…

Right off the bat, Joe is struggling to stay up with his dodgy leg. However, Stephen’s gangly limbs fail to hang on and he’s out first.

Joe doesn’t last much longer. Jeff notices how badly infected his knee is and wants it checked by the medics after the challenge.

Taj, Brendan and Erinn drop out at the same time. 20 mins go by, and after a long struggle J.T. gives up. Shortly afterwards, Coach very calmly climbs down, while Sierra loses her grip and slides down.

It’s now between Debbie and Tyson. 30 mins have now passed, Tyson is barely hanging on by his toes, and Debbie exclaims that things are really starting to suck. Eventually, she can’t hold on for much longer, and slips down the pole.

Tyson wins immunity!

The Forza tribe arrive back at camp, and already they’re concerned about Joe, because they had to leave him behind with the medics. Meanwhile, Tyson sets about blindsiding Brendan by convincing everyone that J.T. is getting voted out, and they fall for it.

Stephen fills in Taj with what’s going on, and she’s more than happy to flip on Brendan if he can pull this plan off.

Coach lets J.T. know that Brendan and Sierra plan to vote for him, so he runs to Stephen and they discuss their next step, because they know that Brendan has the Idol, and if they pile all their votes onto Brendan and he plays it, J.T. goes home by default.

Savour this moment, because it’s pretty much the only time where J.T. is a legitimate target this season.

They decide to split the vote between Brendan and Sierra, so in the case of the Idol being played, Sierra goes home instead.

Coach entertains the idea of giving himself a nickname in lieu of his dastardly plan. He either wants to be The Orchestrator (because he orchestrates awesome plans), or The Dragonslayer (cause Brendan is the dragon and he wants to cut the dragon’s head off).

So everyone is all set for Tribal Council. But then, Jeff arrives with some news…

It turns out that Joe’s leg is really badly infected. So much so that he’s dangerously close to developing septicemia. The medic tells him that he needs to be flown to the nearest hospital, otherwise he could lose his leg, or even his life.

As much as Joe wants to carry on, he decides that it’s not worth risking his life over, and he reluctantly bows out of the game and gets medevac’d.

Vale Joe, one of the greatest what-could-have-beens of Survivor history.

So Tribal Council is now cancelled for the night. Everyone is devastated about losing Joe, it’s all very sad.

Very sad.

On top of that, some of the Warrior Alliance are annoyed as it means having to wait a little longer to carry out their plans…

See you guys for episode 9!