Referendums are held for the benefit of politicians, not for the good of the country. Like the super-oily Harold Wilson 40 years ago, the eel-like David Cameron is trying to slither out of an internal party crisis.

He hopes to neutralise for ever the annoying faction of Tory MPs called 'Eurosceptics'. I personally don't know why he bothers.

If these people haven't the guts to leave the Tory Party, the most pro-EU organisation in Britain, then why should we believe that they have the guts to leave the EU itself? Yappity-yap, they have gone for years, occasionally sinking their boneless gums harmlessly into the trousers of one Tory leader or another.

Like the super-oily Harold Wilson 40 years ago, the eel-like David Cameron (pictured) is trying to slither out of an internal party crisis, writes Peter Hitchens

The Tory Party loves the EU and wants to stay in it. Most Tory voters hate the EU and wish we weren't in it.

But Mr Cameron likes a tight ship – that is one in which nobody disagrees with him or criticises him. It's what he's like, and he's in charge.

So it's gallons of liquid engineering all round, as he tries to slide out of the ancient problem: the Tory Party loves the EU and wants to stay in it. Most Tory voters hate the EU and wish we weren't in it.

One way to solve this would be for the Tory voters to stop voting Tory and to find another party. But, for reasons which Einstein and Freud themselves probably couldn't fathom, they won't do this.

They prefer voting for people whose views they don't like, and who despise them back. This is, after all, England, where logic isn't rated highly.

So every few years we have a Tory Eurocrisis, and here's the latest one. You can count me out of it.

I'll be amazed if it results in a vote to leave. I'll be utterly astonished if we actually do leave. The best we can hope for is another round of 'negotiations', followed by a second vote in which we will be expected to come up with the right answer.

Ask the Irish, who were silly enough to reject the Lisbon Treaty. They were told they hadn't understood the question and made to vote again.

If this sort of thing goes on much longer, I might stop being so sweetly trusting of those who rule us, and turn cynical.

At least Dad Dave got something right

Actually, I think the Prime Minister genuinely hoped to send all his children to a comprehensive state secondary school, at least for a while. I think it was a key part of his reinvention of himself as the New Blair, and I even think I know which school he had in mind.

But I think he lost his nerve, and I don't blame him. The school concerned was run by a superb head, who left, which is always a worry. And I'm also not sure that Mrs Cameron was as keen on the experiment as her husband.

So instead they sent their daughter to a very different state secondary, a wholly untypical girls-only school very similar to the grammars which both parties have more or less stamped out.

And now the Camerons are looking at a private school for their son. Good for them. They can afford it, and by doing so they free a place in a good state school for a poorer family. In this the Premier is commendably unlike the egalitarian fanatic Jeremy Corbyn, who split up with an earlier wife because she wanted their child to go to a grammar school and he didn't.

I think the Prime Minister (right) genuinely hoped to send all his children to a comprehensive state secondary school, at least for a while, but I think he lost his nerve

Mr Cameron wouldn't sacrifice his child for his politics, and quite right too.

But shouldn't he then sacrifice his politics for his child?

If the head of the Government cannot find a state secondary good enough for his son in all of Central London, then what about the rest of us?

Since the Thatcher era, governments have been trying to fix the comprehensive school system without addressing its real problem – which is that comprehensive schools don't work.

They never will. Charismatic heads, piles of cash, freedom from local authority control, every one of these panaceas fails to deal with the problem that selection by ability is best.

The private school system, to which the Camerons have reasonably turned, works entirely on this principle and succeeds for that reason.

So let's bring it back to the state sector, where it worked brilliantly. Did you know that new grammar schools are actually illegal? This must end.

There's nothing wrong with going private – if you can. It's denying to others what you seek for yourself that's wrong.

Don't moan, 50s women were happy with their lot

I quite enjoy these programmes – such as the new series called Back In Time For The Weekend – where families are introduced to the food, clothes and customs of another era.

But the first episode – about the 1950s – annoyed me because the wife and mother moaned so much about having to grapple (briefly) with the housework and about going to church.

The first episode of Back In Time For The Weekend (pictured) – about the 1950s – annoyed Peter Hitchens because the wife and mother moaned so much about having to grapple (briefly) with the housework and about going to church

Look, if you can't take a joke you shouldn't have joined. Women really did live like this and were often (oddly enough) happy and contented.

They might not have liked spending their days as wage-slaves in offices. They weren't like us. And our grandchildren may not be like us either.

Try to understand that the past is a foreign country, and so is the future.

Good luck to Lord Bramall, who is giving the police a good biffing for their absurd, credulous treatment of child abuse allegations against him. It's their job to investigate, not prosecute or persecute.

But things have been even harder on another man of courage, the late Bishop George Bell, condemned by many media (with police assistance) following a solitary uncorroborated claim of child abuse first made nearly 45 years after the offence allegedly took place, and 37 years after the Bishop's death.

Many journalists shamefully reported this allegation as if it were proven fact.

Good luck to Lord Bramall (pictured), who is giving the police a good biffing for their absurd, credulous treatment of child abuse allegations against him

Well, an astonishing admission in the House of Lords by Paul Butler, the Bishop of Durham, shows that they shouldn't have done. He told fellow peers that the Church was by no means sure of Bishop Bell's guilt.

'If noble Lords read very carefully the statements that have been put out, they will see that there has been no declaration that we are convinced that this took place.'

If they're not sure, how can the media be?

I completely agree with moves to stop people smoking in Hollywood films. It is worth billions in free advertising to Big Tobacco.

It's all very well going on about how stylish the stars of yesteryear looked as they inhaled clouds of burning paper and vegetable smoke.

But people died (horribly) from doing just that. Humphrey Bogart was one of them (his ravaged body weighed less than 6st at the end). And the link between cigarettes and glamour is a big reason for keeping this disastrous habit popular among the young.

Yes, we do sometimes have to save people from themselves. It's not their own business. If they hurt or kill themselves, their families suffer terribly.