God loves you and has a plan for your life that will bring peace and joy. But what if you want to box God out of your life and roll the dice? Here are some strategies:

#1 Don’t pray. Ever.

This one is easy. If you want to keep God from talking to you, a great way is to try to shut down all communication. Be careful! If you pray, He’ll eventually reveal a joyful path filled with loving service for Him and your neighbors. Try a comfortable, unsatisfying life instead!

#2 Don’t reflect on who you are as a person.

This is HUGE. Ignore your actions. Ignore your place in the world. Do you know what’s easier than “becoming the best person you can be”? Convincing yourself that you already are.

#3 Don’t take a break from life’s distractions.

Watch out, this is one is less obvious. God tries to speak to you when you aren’t distracted. A great way to counter this is to busy yourself with things that leave you feeling empty at the end of the day. Don’t ever take a break. (Warning: This might lead to a nervous breakdown. It’s a risk you’re willing to take to ignore the joy of having God in your life!)

#4 Don’t talk to anyone about it.

You might be tempted to talk with someone else about where your life is headed. Don’t do it! They will only give you helpful advice because they care about you! Plus, since when has bottling up a major issue in your life ever been a bad thing? Keep it simple. Keep it to yourself.

#5 Expect God to tell you His plan immediately.

This is classic. You want answers right NOW. God sometimes works at a slower pace than humans, being outside of time and having infinite knowledge and whatnot. Command God to tell you His loving plan right now. If He doesn’t, simply assume He won’t say anything. It’s the perfect way to stay confused about your life’s purpose.

#6 Despair.

You’re still here? Looks like it’s time to get desperate. Tell yourself that God has abandoned you. Tell the all-loving God that gave you your life and its many blessings that He doesn’t love you. Tell yourself that there is no hope. There is no better way to ignore God’s love for you.