This is it.

Congratulations, humanity. We've simultaneously hit our peak and nadir.

Pack it in, folks. I honestly don't know where we can go from here. Spreadable bacon? What other frontier could be left?

You might see a simple jar of Skillet Street Food Bacon Spread, but you're not looking hard enough. You need to really SEE what's there. And what's there is a blend of bacon, onion, balsamic vinegar, brown sugar, and spices. Are you reading these words? BACON. SPREAD. This is what the singers sang of. This is what Einstein struggled to predict. We've finally come to the point where salted pork products, known since the dawn of time as the tastiest of all products to ever exist, are spreadable. On bread.

The flip side of the coin is stuff like spreadable bacon kind of makes it easy to see why America's in the shape it's in. I mean, you can't say we've got anything left to strive for. There's no reason to fight, no reason to yearn or dream or struggle. We have spreadable bacon. Where the hell else could we go from here?

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