from budgetsaresexy

Howdy there Miners, Panic Sellers, and HODLers! The crypto economy is so wild these days, it seems that every ICO or token sale is either overlooked, panned, or irrevocably overfunded by a smoothie of Russian Oligarchs and Chinese teenagers. There’s one coin, however, I just can’t seem to wrap my head around, so I figured I’d do some thorough research and review so the rest of us don’t have to.

US Dollar Overview

Symbol: USD ($)

Sale Opening Date: April 2, 1972

Sale Closing Date: Implosion of Liberal Democracy

Market Cap: Somewhere between 1.2 and 120 trillion

Hard Cap: ∞

Mining: No

Minting: As said Treasury sees fit~ 1 million dollars a day

Whitepaper: No, green.

Utility: Universally respected, worshiped. Can buy nukes.

Distribution: 99% allocated to whales.

Concept + Objective

Scalable + liquid medium of economic exchange between parties, to be coveted within/rot the souls of men.

Team + Background

Creators: Department of the Treasury of the United States of America, Benjamin Franklin — competent, deceased

Team Members: Donald Trump (CEO) — small-handed tyrant, memelord,

Jovita Carranza (Treasurer) — zero Solidity experience

Fort Knox: Increasingly Irrelevant

Volatility: Oddly Negligible

Ethics: Ranging from vaguely racist to utterly dystopian

Review

Me IRL from r/ReactionGifs

The USD seems like a fairly stable and reliable investment for years to come. Despite an annual inflation rate of ~2%, I can’t seem to shake my faith in this coin. I’m even considering liquidating some of my WebVan shares to purchase more USD. That being said, it’s not for everyone, especially considering some of the serious red flags that might turn less-than-bullish investors away.

Probably the most concerning factors are the lack of hard cap, disproportionate distribution to whales, baroque illustrations, contagious ideology, uncertain market volumes, counterfeit vulnerability, and unchecked minting power of the core team. Also, I’m not entirely sure why the USA needs a custom token. Can’t they just use Bitcoin or Ethereum? If you can see past these, however, you may find yourself in my camp: simultaneously spending, hoarding, and hating USD.

Let me know what you guys think of USD. Do you already own some? Will you be purchasing? Anything I missed? Reply below with your comments or reach out to me on Twitter.

Next week: reviewing Matryx, an ERC20 decentralized collaboration platform.