Why is Anal Sex Desirable?

People report a variety of reasons for desirability when it comes to anal play and anal sex, but the most common explanation is simple, that it’s just simply hot. The Grandfather of Psychology, Sigmund Freud once said that the entirety of the body is sexual, there aren’t specific parts that are or are not able to be sexualized. A quick perusal of a pornographic web site can attest to this fact.

Quite simply, men generally like to look at women’s butts, so it would make sense that they’d generally like to touch them as well. The anus is capable of being sexualized just as much as any of the reproductive organs, as well as other things such as breasts, feet, hair, and other parts that people seem fascinated with in a sexual way.

Beyond the simple seeming universal desirability of the rear end, many men report that there’s something “raw” about anal sex that isn’t quite the same in vaginal sex. There is no possibility of pregnancy resulting from anal sex, and on a deep level this resonates with many men who consider it more carnal, just done for the sheer pleasure of it without even a hint of being something more.

Many men report the allure to be the fact that it’s considered a “forbidden fruit,” a fruit which tempts many. If a person’s body is Eden, anal play and anal sex are the fruit from the tree of knowledge. The simple fact that it’s “wrong” is a powerful motivator in the minds of many, and by wrong, I mean biologically, rather than making any moral claims here.

Intimacy is a big draw for a lot of people as well, both women and men. When it comes to the anus, there is often a sense of hesitance and reservation that comes into play with a lot of people, and by consenting to anal play, it’s a way for many of persons to communicate to their partner that they admire all of them, every single part, and for recipients of anal play, to communicate that not a single part of their body is off limits.

In a very real way, for some, anal sex is their way of saying, “I enjoy you so much that I want you to have all of me,” or the inverse, “I enjoy you so much that I want to have all of you — nothing disgusts me.”

For many human beings, the anus is almost, or even just as attractive as a vagina, and for some people, it’s even more attractive, which really hammers home the notion that once we’re attracted to a person of our liking, very little about their bodies can be said to be unattractive, speaking generally, of course.

Power Dynamics

The potential for both pain and pleasure on the behalf of the recipient of anal sex naturally lends itself into sexual dynamics which are heavy into power-play, BDSM, dominant and submissive relationships, etc. For many recipients, the pain is where the magic is — they enjoy submitting to pain to please their partners and actually get off on it. For others, they derive a great deal of pleasure from having a little back door stimulation, whatever that may look like for them, and some people cannot achieve orgasm without the rear being stimulated.

There is a versatility in anal play which revolves heavily around the consolidation of nerve endings within that particular part of the body, where people can experience the peaks of ecstasy or the throes of pain, whichever they desire. This only serves to increase the level of intimacy in such an act — when the possibility of things going wrong could lead to immense pain, there is a greater degree of trust between practitioners and their partners in performing the act.

Anal sex, in a very real way, allows people to be vulnerable in a completely novel way before one another, and whether their partner engages in hurting them or not is a thing of their choosing. It’s a way of saying, “I will allow you to potentially hurt me, but I trust that you won’t,” for those who do not enjoy pain, and a way to communicate, “If you allow me to pleasure you in a way that could hurt you, I will not — I will be patient, gentle, and consider your wants and needs.”

There’s an immense power in this, and I’ll leave it up to the reader to decide if it’s their cup of tea or not, but I will also comment that there’s an immense beauty in the vulnerability of the people who engage in anal sex, a vulnerability that’s also found in other activities supposing it’s simply not your thing.

Analingus

Believe it or not, analingus, the oral-anal act of touching the anus with the tongue, is not only more popular than actual anal sex, with a 2008 study showing 18% of men reporting they’d performed an act of actual anal sex, while 15% had received analingus, and a full 24% had performed analingus.

Analingus is popular for the same reasons anal sex is, in that it’s taboo, “nasty” (to some, which arguably increases the appeal to others), and extremely intimate. It’s a way for some partners to taste the very essence of another, and for the practitioners of it, this is extremely enjoyable. It’s also the way to stimulate a region which doesn’t often get a whole lot of attention in a new way.

Fingers

Finger-insertion is the most popular form of anal play there is, with a massive 24% of men (a high number for heterosexual guys) reporting having tried it, in the 2008 study, and a towering 53% of women admitting that they’d tried it.

For men, it stimulates the prostate if done correctly and can lead to immense pleasure (or so I’ve been told), and for women, it’s a less-invasive way of enjoying the fruits of anal sex, without the risk of pain involved as well.

Finger play is the least invasive and arguably least intimate, which is likely why it’s the most popular.

Love It or Hate It

It should be noted here, that there is an immense case of “the haves versus the have-nots,” when it comes to ALL forms of anal play. When men have not performed anal intercourse, they’re extremely unlikely to have engaged in another form of anal play, with only 2% of heterosexual men who’ve NOT had anal-penetrative sex reporting also having performed analingus, 4% having received analingus, 3% having received finger-penetrative anal play, and 10% reporting having given finger-penetrative anal play.

This means that there’s a divide between those who love the booty and those who hate it. There are very few people out there who’ve tried a little bit of anal play and not gone for the whole package and had anal sex. On the one hand, this means that those who’ve tried anal play enjoyed it, and decided to go for more, on the other hand, those who haven’t tried it or thought about it aren’t likely to anytime soon.

What’s a hard limit for some is a source of great pleasure for others, and like many things in life, it’s up to the individuals involved as to what their preferences are.

The Evolution of Anal Sex

Anal sex evolved much like music, art, and other elements of our culture that don’t have to do with success at procreation — that is, it evolved with us for the simple pleasure of doing it, a testament to its enjoyability among its practitioners.

Evolution isn’t a linear design that attempts to perfect things, it fashions them to suit their environment and sometimes this leads to some rather interesting results. It’s quite common-knowledge that men view large breasts on a primal level as being a symbol of fertility and ability to nourish children that may come about from a sexual union, but the fact remains, while large breasts may signify that a person we’re looking at is, in fact, a woman who’s capable of producing children, large breasts don’t actually produce more milk. Evolution has simply selected us to believe so by happenstance.

The same goes for anal sex, it’s a pleasurable activity that just happens to be a byproduct of our sexual natures in other areas. We are much more than replicating machines, we’re human beings with thoughts, feelings, ideas, and we’re capable of obtaining a deep, rich, inner experience in ways beyond the simple mechanics of survival and procreation.