Weird Medical News has just learned that the human population has been growing for some time. It got us to wondering, what could possibly be the cause of this phenomenon? Could it be the ozone layer? Could it be Satan? Could it be parthenogenesis?

Finally we have an answer, thanks to the groundbreaking work of Professor John Guillebaud, “one of the UK’s leading authorities on family planning,” according to a news release by the Optimum Population Trust.

The root cause of population growth?

Sex.

Now wait a minute. Stay with me here. I know that Prof. Guillebaud’s conclusion sounds unlikely. But he’s a Scientist, and he’s made a Breakthrough while conducting Scientific Research.

And in another amazing feat of logic, Prof. Guillebaud has arrived at yet another seemingly tautological conclusion from his study. He has good reason to believe that contraception prevents conception.

You scoff. But that same study has proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that black is the new black, and that what goes up nearly always (P = .04) comes down.

(hat tip to Improbable Research)

—Bob Finn



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Posted in science of the obvious, Sex