I'm back on time. Today I review all the 2nd Round matches of the New Japan Cup, I let you know which ones were good and which wrestlers deserve respect for their efforts, and I also look forward to the next tournament rounds. Also, my bracket lies in tatters at my feet.

Here are my poignant observations:

“Sabre f*cked up my entire bracket f*ck you dude goddamn f*ck”

“Okada had better win this whole thing. Actually, even then I’d still be mad”

“Sanada became human again with help from an old man hitting man”

“Sorry, everyone. Taichi is still awesome. Maybe check back next year. Or next decade.”

“Tanahashi uses the Dragon SUPLEX not the Dragon SLEEPER. I’m stupid”

“Yoshi-Hashi decimates the entire 50 United States”

“Lance Archer should spit water on anyone who thinks he’s bad”

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