LOS ANGELES—Somebody thought adding 10,000 more people to E3's crowds was a good idea, and that somebody should be punished. Ars' recommendation: make them watch our resident yokels, Sam Machkovech and Lee Hutchinson, roam the overcrowded expo's halls in one of Ars' most ridiculous videos ever made.

It's safe-for-work, we swear, but it may not be safe for the companies we put in the video spotlight. If you had topics like VR foam swords, interviews with inanimate animals, and overpriced "gamer chair" spins on your E3 bingo card, we can help you punch all of those, and more, in one fell swoop.

Unlike previous installments, E3 2017 is an utter madhouse in terms of getting into random games' lines and testing out cool or weird titles. The Nintendo booth, for example, is so consistently crowded that it looks like a social experiment gone awry. We're still getting tons of hands-on time with hot new games (look at that sidebar for many examples), but we dug a little deeper, and weirder, to fill out the content in the above video. Go on, have a little fun with us.