(I work in a clinic where we study the effects of medications on people. Upon check-in, we confiscate any items that could disrupt the study. I’m returning a pair of ankle weights to a participant; we had to remove them so he wouldn’t work out during the study.)

Me: “Here are your items.” *hands him ankle weights*

Participant: “Can I put them on now?”

Me: “Sure.”

Participant: *sits down and straps on weights* “You know why I wear these?”

Me: “…to build muscle?”

Participant: “So I don’t get the bends when the rapture comes!”