RETROACTIVE WARNING: Spider in car picture.

In news that almost makes me glad to have a ten-year old car that's ready to explode any minute, Toyota has recalled 870,000 Camrys, Venzas and Avalons built in 2012 and 2013 because spider webs can cause a blockage that makes the driver-side airbag deploy and the cars to lose power steering. No word what a rat's nest could do, but my guess ends with a fire on the interstate.

Sometimes, their webs can create a blockage in a drainage tube coming from the air conditioning condenser. That can cause water to drip down onto an airbag control module, causing a short circuit. That, in turn, could cause the airbag warning light to light up on the dashboard and it could even cause the driver's side airbag to deploy, something that happens with explosive force.

In some cases, there could also be a loss of power-steering force, Toyota (TM) said.

Could you imagine just driving down the road when your airbag deploys? You would probably crash. And then the airbag wouldn't do you any good BECAUSE IT'S ALREADY IN YOUR LAP. Probably on top of the burger you were eating. No lie, the other day I saw a guy driving with an open pizza box in his lap. Not a small either, this thing was an extra large, and he had to bend his arms around the lid to reach the steering wheel. When I was passing him I gave him a thumbs up before trying to ram him off the road.

Thanks to Joanna, who made a Charlotte's Web reference that made me sad because she dies in the end which got me thinking about Where the Red Fern Grows and it's all been downhill from there.