Everyone knows feminist, literary books appeal to girls in Brooklyn, but what connects to all American women? We wanted to find out, so we hired reality television legend Farrah Abraham as our book critic. After enduring a working-class childhood and life as a single teen mom, Farrah’s blossomed into an entrepreneur. She’s bringing her unique perspective to reviews of new and classic literature, starting with Joan Didion’s seminal tome Slouching Towards Bethlehem. New Yorker and New York Review of Books, it’s time to get real. A new critic is in town!

As a devout reader, I believe women should write their life stories because most journeys teach valuable lessons. But if you want consumers to trust you, you probably should avoid starting a book with your gin issues. Journalist and screenwriter Joan Didion apparently never received this message.

In 1968 she published Slouching Towards Bethlehem. If you’re looking to find out what not to do as a writer, this is a great book for you. Over the course of twenty essays, Didion describes her life in Los Angeles during the sixties. She jumps from year to year, often for no rhyme or reason. The non-linear structure confuses me. I had to wonder, “Was Didion even trying when she wrote this junk?”

According to her Wikipedia page, Didion is some sort of queen of nonfiction, but I doubt Slouching Towards Bethlehem’s credibility. How would she remember all these quotes? Did she walk around with a recorder in her purse? I suspect Didion wrote many half-truths because she prides herself on her diva behavior. At one point, Didion brags about her missed deadlines. Who does that? If Didion behaved this way on a reality tv set, she would be fired for unprofessionalism.