(transcript)

Words. I love words. But I realize that sometimes language can be a little overwhelming, so I’m here to help you, the diseducated buffoon, navigate these treacherous waters. This week I thought we’d take a look at all those confusing -ocracy and -archy words. Let’s go on a wordventure!

KAKISTOCRACY – A form of government in which the worst people are in power (Greek root: “kaka”)

DEMOCRACY – A form of government you record

on a 4-track in your poorly soundproofed garage

THEOCRACY – A political theory designed by Gordon Gartrell

OCHLOCRACY – A non-Ozzy Black Sabbath album

GYNECOCRACY – A political movement led by Tom Collins

VODKOCRACY – A political system from Black Russia

in which one person seizes Absolut power

CHINESE DEMOCRACY – A system of rule in which one person seizes power and then ruins everything

MARTYROCRACY – When the president makes you feel guilty for not visiting more often

MERITOCRACY – The theory of skilled and educated people holding positions of power. I know! It’s hilarious!

OGLIARCHY – A country run by an unattractive monarch

MONARCHY – The preferred Jamaican form of government

GOLDENARCHY – A burger kingdom’s greatest threat

NOAHSARCHY – Each participating group elects two representatives: one male, one female

ANARCHY – The anti-establishment political theory (ironically, it’s the only one with a decent logo)