Me: “Thanks for calling ***, how can I help you?”

Customer: “My phone service isn’t working.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll see what I can do. What wireless company do you have?”

Customer: “I don’t have wireless.”

Me: “… I’m not sure I’m following you, ma’am.”

Customer: “What’s not to follow? I said my PHONES AREN’T WORKING!”

Me: “Okay, but in order to assist you, I need to know what service you have.”

Customer: “AT&T.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t contract AT&T wireless in the store.”

Customer: “Look, lady, it’s not WIRELESS. My HOME PHONES aren’t working, and I can’t get a hold of my son and I’m worried. The service has been on the fritz all day. I need you to FIX IT!”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, I can’t fix your home phone service. You’ll have to call your provider.”

Customer: “What are you, stupid? I bought the phone from you!”

(She probably had bought the telephone through us, because we sell some made by/for AT&T. But we don’t do the service at all.)

Me: “Ma’am, we don’t do the service. We are just the phone retailer. Is there something wrong with the phone itself?”

Customer: “NO. It works fine, but I can’t actually CALL anywhere. Now, I need this FIXED. I’ve been without a phone all day, every phone in the house is messed up, and I can’t call my SON. I don’t have a phone at ALL! Do you understand?”

Me: “Yes ma’am, I do, but like I said, we have nothing to do with your service. We just sell the PHONES. You have to call AT&T to see what’s wrong with your service.”

Customer: “And just how am I supposed to do that, smarty-pants? I DON’T have a PHONE that WORKS!”

Me: “With all due respect, ma’am, how did you call US?”

Customer: “B****.” *click*