It’s a chess set with pieces that double as vibrators, 32 in all, from round-tipped pawns to knights shaped like anal beads. Like any decent vibrator, they’re made of medical-grade silicone and ABS. Unlike any old vibrator, they’ve also got gold-plate detailing and could cause you to have inappropriate thoughts of Bobby Fischer. Produced for the chichi erotic shop Kiki de Montparnasse, the sets are being trotted out in late November, early December. The cost: 7 large. Yup, $7,000.

Obviously, with that kind of price tag they’re meant to be showcased, not stuffed in a top drawer (or anywhere else). As for the chess aspect: “Chess is something that works as the setting for a sex toy,” Aruliden cofounder Rinat Aruh tells us. “It’s a very sexy mind game.” (Hence the well-known stereotype of the priapic, hot-loined chess player and the raw sensuality of a chess club meeting. Ha: we kid, we kid! We totally remember that steamy chess scene with Steve McQueen and Faye Dunaway in the original The Thomas Crown Affair.)