She’s turning three, the terrible twos are over, we thought. The threes are worse, they said. We didn’t believe them. Perhaps, we were mistaken… Sophia is as sharp as a tack. She’s far smarter than I thought she would be as a three-year old. She’s more advanced than I thought she would be at this point. It amazes me every day. You know what doesn’t amaze me? Living under the tyrannical reign of a toddler.

Here’s the thing–kids know what they want. But, the problem is what happens if they don’t get what they want, or if they don’t get it right NOW. “No, I’m sorry, we don’t have any goldfish in the car. We’ll get them when we get home, ok?” ::Tears streaming:: ::Starts scream-whine:: “Noooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!! I want them NOW!!!!!”

“It’s time to get dressed for school.” ::throws self on floor:: “Nooooooooooooo!!!!! I don’t wanna get dressed!!!!”

“Alright, it’s time for dinner. Do you want chicken nuggets or mac and cheese?” ::throws self on floor:: ::hides face:: “I don’t WANNA eat dinner! I want fishies!!! I want fruit snacks!!!”

Don’t even think about opening the gate at the bottom of the steps. Nope, that’s her job. Wanna go up the steps first? Don’t you even dare! She’s the line leader! Didn’t you know that? Don’t have an umbrella when running out of the car in a downpour? Don’t you even think about using her Sofia the First umbrella! That is HER umbrella!

Here’s a question, hot-shot: you’re running late for work, your 3-year old doesn’t want you to comb her hair, she wants Mommy to do it. But, Mommy isn’t ready yet. And a meltdown is going to start in 3…2…1… WHAT DO YOU DO?! “You comb her hair, duh, you idiot.” Yeah, good luck with that one, jack.

If you wanna know what it’s like to like under the reign of a tyrannical ruler like a toddler–just try walking on eggshells all day long. Or, run across a pit filled with snakes. Swim with sharks without a safety cage. Go rock climbing without any safety gear. You get the idea, I’m sure.

I love Sophia, I do. She’s my buddy, she cracks me up regularly, and is WAY smarter than I am. But, holy hell, am I wishing that this phase of freakouts and meltdowns ends sooner rather than later.

How do you deal with the freakouts and meltdowns? Share your tips and tricks in the comments below, on Facebook, and on Twitter.