Mad scientists, doomsday devices, minions, money laundering, and theatrical costumes. Mwahahaha is a game that takes the best parts about being a Bond villain and packs them up neatly into a casual escapist experience. Not to mention, you sound like a complete fool when speaking it’s name aloud. Go on, walk into your nearest game store and ask if they carry Mwahahaha. Everyone’s doing it.

Mwahahaha!

Published by White-Wolf

2-5 players

Ages 8 and up

1-2 hours

MSRP $34.99

While this is classified as a card game, it has a hell of a lot more to it than just cards. It’s really more like a card and boardgame hybrid. Each player assumes the identity of one of the crazy-ass bad guys (or girls) and takes the corresponding card. The example posted below is that of High Viceroy Roboticus III. I think you’ll understand.

The card includes quite a bit of information, but is essentially where each player’s part of the game transpires. Each villain has a” power”, which is explained in the small text at the top of the card. One of the funnier elements of the game has to do with the six translucent green squares in the middle: shark pit, broken vial, mushroom cloud, and the three sad faces. The three different icons on the left are your maniacal counters, which allows you to track how freakin’ crazy you are behaving. The frowny faces are to track your humiliation as you make various threats and fail. Nobody takes you seriously. So sad.

The giant hole in the middle of the card is where you keep your doomsday device. We’ll just let that opportunity for vulgarity pass right on by. And….. There it goes. Moving on. This element is my favorite part of the game, simply because they are so cool and you are allowed to change them up as you play. There are a whopping 20 to choose from, and they are beautiful.

The device begins face-down until you make your first threat. In order to make a threat you will need to have acquired the necessary resources as displayed by the four colored circles with a number in each of the four categories: city, state, country, and world. In short, If you have the Giant Laser (awesome), you will need 0 red, 1 green, 1 white, and 0 yellow to try and fire your weapon at a city. The world would require 6, 5, 5, and 4. The numbers and shapes below the resources correspond to the number of attacking and defending dice that will be rolled. Check out these crazy dice!

Once you make your first threat, the device remains face-up, because everyone knows all about you now. As you make your threats, the device rotates in its spot to line the arrow on the card up with the most current threat level made by that device. If you decide to change your device, you once again begin with it face-down until you reveal it to the world…. or Dubuque, IA.

The four colored circles mentioned in the doomsday devices, which can be better seen at the top of the player card, represent the various resources the player has converted from Raw Materials cards.

The Raw Materials need to be processed in order to be used. This can be done through the hideout explained on player card, but it’s far too slow. This is why every good mad scientist has an empire of fronts for the sole purpose of laundering money and developing materials for their evil plan. Check out these empires:

In addition to empires, no madman is complete without and army of faithful, yet blundering minions. Fortunately, there are many from which to choose.

The last thing to remember is that every crazy villain worth their weight has at least one nemesis who is always trying to sabotage their work and vice versa, of course. Fortunately, this important fact has not been overlooked and extra spite has been built into the game for good measure. These are the Dirty Tricks cards:

The game ends when a player threatens the world and succeeds in firing their weapon. Granted, everyone dies, winning player included, but nobody ever said this had to make sense. The game is a little on the long side, but very funny and a beautiful diversion from your hectic life. Do you realize how different it would be if you ruled the world? Now you can!