(Permanent Musical Accompaniment To This Post)

Being our semi-regular weekly survey of what's goin' down in the several states where, as you know, the real work of government' gets done and where it's a wicked life, but what the hell, everybody's got to eat.

We begin in Michigan, in a place where Infrastructure Week has yet to reach. From Crain's Detroit:

Vitti ordered testing of all schools this spring, after tests in 2016 found elevated levels of the metals. Initial results for 24 schools returned last week found 16 had levels higher than acceptable, he said in the emailed letter. All water sources, including drinking fountains and sinks, were tested. Water is still available for hand washing and toilet flushing.



"Although we have no evidence that there are elevated levels of copper or lead in our other schools (over 50) where we are awaiting test results, out of an abundance of caution and concern for the safety of our students and employees, I am turning off all drinking water in our schools until a deeper and broader analysis can be conducted to determine the long-term solutions for all schools," Vitti said in an emailed statement Wednesday morning.

In four days, around 45,000 schoolchildren will return to public schools that will have no drinking water. Roll that around in your head for a minute. The Detroit Public School system needs $530 million in capital improvements. Roll that around in your head for a minute. The copper and lead get into the water because the pipes carrying the water decay and the metals leach into it. And the more decay you allow, the more copper and lead you get in your water. Decay is general in many areas these days.

We move a little north to Lake Superior, which is having the same trouble that the waters around Florida are having at the moment. The big lake is a little green around the gills, and so are many of the fish in it. From The New York Times:

Lake Superior, the largest of the Great Lakes with more than 2,700 miles of shoreline, is the latest body of water to come under increased scrutiny by scientists after the appearance this summer of the largest mass of green, oozing algae ever detected on the lake. From the Gulf Coast to the northernmost shores of the United States, scientists and government officials are working to decipher algae blooms to help them interpret the causes of the blooms, changes to their climates, and the effects the blooms have on public health and regional environments.

One of the least recognized consequences of the Great Chinese Climate Hoax is that it weaponizes various natural processes until they become unhealthy and then, often, dangerous.

A man walks along the shore of Lake Superior. Jeff Greenberg Getty Images

Algae blooms are a natural occurrence, but certain species can be toxic. While the species of algae found in Lake Superior can become toxic, Dr. Sterner said, tests showed that none of its commonly occurring toxins were found in hazardous concentrations. Harmful algal blooms are a “national problem,” Donald M. Anderson, a senior scientist at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution, told the Senate Committee on Commerce, Science and Transportation in Washington on Tuesday. “Their increasing frequency and intensity are impacting the economics and environmental health of communities, states, tribes and regions around the nation,” he testified.

Let's skip on down to Milwaukee to see what that fine city's Republicans are up to these days and, oh, look, they're all doing mushrooms apparently.

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I spent five years in Milwaukee and I still love the place, but I never scored anything strong enough for me to produce something like that. Slandered! Humiliated! Heard words he never heard in the Bible! And none of the customers are satisfied.

And we conclude, as is our custom, in the great state of Oklahoma, where Blog Official Gila monster Whisperer Friedman of the Plains brings us the strange tale of how pollsters and pols in that state have taken to games of chance against each other. From the Tulsa World:

Bill Shapard, president of SoonerPoll.com, said Tuesday he is willing to bet $5,000 his polling in the 1st Congressional District comes closer to the final result than one released last week that says businessman Kevin Hern has a 16-point lead in the GOP runoff.

“It’s unscrupulous polling like this that gives my industry a bad name,” said Shapard, whose polling a few weeks ago showed Hern’s opponent, Tim Harris, leading by 11 points.

Hern’s campaign and The Tarrance Group, the nationally known consulting firm that conducted the poll, were reluctant to comment on the record, but indicated they believe Hern’s media campaign over the past two weeks, especially in the absence of response from the Harris camp, accounts for the difference.

Shapard said he doubts that. “There’s no way this poll can be reconciled with my findings,” Shapard told the World a few hours after issuing his challenge on KFAQ radio.

See, you do something like this and you're just asking for it. However, I think all pollsters should be forced by law to put up their own money on their results. It might make for more honesty, and it certainly would be fun.

Anyway, Hern won by 11 and Shapard lost his bet. As the great Norman Chad always says, pay the man, Shirley.

This is your democracy, America. Cherish it.

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Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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