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A Hull man has spoken out after suffering years of abuse at the hands of his violent wife.

The man, who does not want to be named, was subjected to horrific physical abuse after he was injured at work and subsequently had to use a wheelchair.

Instead of caring for him, his wife who had always shouted at him during their relationship, took advantage of his vulnerability and started to hit him.

But when she violently attacked him while his three-year-old daughter sat on his knee, he fled the family home after enduring six years of torment.

He said: "The moment came for me when I knew I had to leave when my wife started hitting and beating my head while my three-year-old girl was sat on my knee in the wheelchair.

"She bashed my head and hit me down my neck - it was so painful and I couldn't really get away from her, but just had the thought in my head to protect my girl and cradled her in my arm while trying to wheel away.

"When I experienced what my wife also put my poor blameless daughter through, I knew I had to try and get us both away before anything worse happened to my girl, who was the hidden victim throughout our whole relationship."

After this attack, the man called the police who arrested his wife but they were unable to press charges against her as there were no visible injuries and she was allowed to return home.

This left the man with no other option but to flee from his tormentor and leave his beloved daughter behind.

'She'd lock me in my mobility van for hours'

He says the warning signs had always been there but he chose to ignore them. Before his accident he could walk away and work long hours. Now he was trapped by his tormentor.

With tears flowing down his face and a look of anguish in his eyes, he explained how he was treated by the woman he vowed to spend the rest of his life with.

"She used to shout and roar at me from the get go, but when I could walk I was able to just leave the situation and get out of the house or go take the kids to the park and tell myself she was in a mood," he said.

"I used to work away for a month at a time as well, so it wasn't constant and I could have a breather away from it all.

"It was after the accident that things started getting really bad and when the violence started creeping in - I think she saw me as a burden because I wasn't bringing in a wage anymore and she started to take it out on me physically.

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"At one point I feared for my life as she started waggling a knife at my chest and threatening me with it - I just felt absolutely dead inside.

"I couldn't get away from her as I was in my chair and just kept trying to inch backwards and get away without being stabbed. It was absolutely terrifying but I just let it happen.

"She used to lock me in the mobility van for hours on end as a way of controlling her power over me, and as well as shouting she used to get up close in my face and spit at me. She would hit me and was just so angry at me and I couldn't defend myself.

"Without having anyone I could admit what was going on to and nowhere to flee, and not wanting to leave my daughter behind, I just took the abuse.

"It made me so depressed - I didn't want to get out of bed on a morning and face the world and was in a dark hole, but kept going for my child.

"I do feel like one of the lucky ones to have got out and to have got help, but what I've been through is something that I will never get over, and I can't bear the thought of what my poor innocent daughter has witnessed, and the fact that she is now without a father".

Homeless and helpless

With nowhere to go and no family nearby to help him, he was faced with the prospect of living on the streets.

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Thankfully the Wilson Centre provided him with shelter in a care home, but the thought of being homeless was a prospect he had to face when he left.

"I just couldn't believe that it was me that had to leave the home and my daughter behind, when I was the victim in it all," he said.

"I didn't know where to go and my whole world just turned upside down. Not knowing where to turn was just the worst.

"I felt every door just got shut on me in terms of getting help from the authorities, and I was thinking to myself, just where does a bloke go or who can he turn to in a situation like this?

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"Luckily I got a bed in a care home as I'm in a chair but the prospect of sleeping on the streets was terrifying, and that on top of everything else that had happened to me just felt like too much to bear.

"I tried googling where I could go as a male domestic abuse victim and asked my family in Ireland to do some research for me but I just wasn't getting anywhere.

"I opened up to a friend finally about what had happened to me, and he signposted me to The Male Support Service charity.

"I think that there was someone looking down on me to have been able to get help from the charity as they have helped me so much - I feel like one of the lucky ones as I know there must be so many men out there with no one or nowhere to turn to.

Support for men

Sadly the dad has not been able to see his daughter since he left the home, and a year on he is still battling in the courts to gain access to see his child.

The charity, which is linked to Therapy Services UK, who also provide domestic abuse services for women, say they see a big disparity between the available funding and resource for males compared to females.

"We treat both men and women and so can see that there are so many more resources for women than there are for men, but we think that victims should just be treated as victims, no matter what their gender is" said Rosemary Purdue, who set up the charity 13 years ago.

"It is so hard for men to come forward anyway because of all the social stigma involved, or because they don't even realise they are abused, or because they are threatened with having their kids taken away from them if they leave.

"The whole system is set up in favour of women when there is domestic abuse involved, including housing, the police and the courts, so it can make it very difficult for men to break away.

"We don't advertise ourselves here at The Male Support Service as we are already overstretched as it is, but we desperately want more funding so that we can expand to another location and then see more men and help them, as it is a service that is truly needed.

"We saw 358 male victims last year, and the numbers just keep growing, but our resource isn't there to accommodate the demand."

Help is out there

For the man who spoke to Hull Live, he is now moving on with his life in the best way that he can.

He is hopeful he will soon be able to see his daughter and has chosen to remain in Hull so he can spend valuable time with her and see her grow up.

A final word of advice was given by the man, who had tried to joke throughout his recollection to keep the tears at bay and to try and laugh through the pain.

"Just break the ice and talk to someone if you are going through abuse - I was shocked to find out that when I opened up to my friends about what had happened to me, that a few of them also confided that their wives had abused them," he said.

"The biggest shock of all was when my son told me he had been assaulted in his relationship also when I told him what happened to me.

"The more that men share what is really going on in their relationships, the more men can get the help they need, the more the perceived shame in society is reduced and the more services will be available out there to help men like me, who didn't know where to turn".

There is no shame

There are 14,000 male victims in the city of Hull alone, which is one in six men. To help male victims of domestic abuse get back on their feet, The Male Support Service, based in new George Street, provide counsellors for victims to talk to and also offer practical advice on housing, divorce and child care issues.

The charity has been an invaluable resource for the man in trying to move on with his life, and he supports their efforts to try and encourage men to speak out more if they are victims of abuse at home, as well as reducing the potential social stigma that can prevent men from coming forward.

poll loading Is there enough support for male victims of domestic violence in Hull? 1000+ VOTES SO FAR Yes No

The man said: "As a man, you are taught from growing up to be strong and not show your emotions or talk about how you really feel, and guys would never really dream of opening up to each other about their relationships or how they get treated by their wives, and a lot of the time, if it isn't physical, they might not even know that they are being abused and think that they are just being nagged at.

"When you're supposed to be a tough bloke, you can never even dream of telling someone else that your wife is abusing you, as physically you are meant to be the tough one in the eyes of society, so it's just so embarrassing to admit it to other people how you are being treated.

"I find it hard talking about what happened now even a year on, as I just feel so ashamed of how I let it all happen to me.

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