NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Taking a victory lap after their candidate’s win in the first Presidential debate Wednesday night, Romney campaign insiders today attributed his success to his strategic use of relentless lying.

“We worked for hours on this during the practice debates,” said the campaign manager Matt Rhoades. “We were, like, ‘Mitt, if you find yourself on the verge of saying something true, bite your tongue.’ ”

Mr. Rhoades said that the nominee was allowed to say his real name and acknowledge that he used to be a Governor, “but other than that, he was on a very short leash, truth-wise.”

While Mr. Romney’s talent for lying was in evidence during the Republican primary debates, it was nothing like the “mad skills” he displayed Wednesday night, the campaign manager said.

“All the hard work and practice lying really paid off,” Mr. Rhoades said. “Plus hanging out with Paul Ryan.”

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Photograph by Saul Loeb/Getty.