WARNING: AWKWARD MERMAID IS ABOUT TO RANT ABOUT LADY BUSINESS. So if you are uncomfortable with the idea of basic biology, you might not want to read this post.

Ok. Some things about being a woman are not 100% fun times. Like, how I just (literally five minutes ago) ruined one of my favourite pairs of knickers.

Ladies, we’ve all been there.

You think, “Oh, I have a few more days until I get my period, so I’ll wear my cute undies while I can!” and then BAM! Ruined by Mother Nature in one foul swoop, and one very disappointing trip to the bathroom. You think your just going to take a nice little tinkle, no siree, that will not be the case today!

I only have like, five pairs of lace bottoms. And I looooooove them soooo much, and my blue pair has a wee little hole in them on my right butt cheek, and my black pair is starting to unravel a bit, and NOW THIS. My hot pink pair has a fat bloodstain. I mean, it takes up almost the entire little cotton portion that allows you to wear a liner or whatever. And it bled through a bit, so you can totally tell from the outside. AND I AM SO MAD!!!

I put them under the sink, and scrubbed them with soap and spit, just like my mamma taught me. And the situation still looks pretty dire.

…

I don’t ask for much, just the sanctity of my cute panties.

Love,

Awkward Mermaid.