Deep down, we all wish to be remembered for doing something truly unique. For being the best in the world. But how to earn our place in the Guinness Book of World Records ?





Having less than average physical ability, sports are out. My finger nails grow too slowly to challenge the record . So I've come up with a new activity. As usual, the idea came when I was showering .





Our puppy comes to the shower door and paws every time I start the shower, then waits for me to cup water in my hand, lean down, open the door, and let her slurp. She trained me to do this trick in a remarkably short time. But it got me thinking, how much water can a human, unassisted, actually hold and carry?





After a few minutes of experimentation, I found the optimal solution. By inserting one hand with extended fingers into the opposite axilla, then crossing my other arm over and curving my fingers, then leaning backwards approximately 30 degrees, I can create a watertight receiver. I can hold 1.7 litre for 60 seconds, as proven by a 1.7 kg increase in the weight of a towel on which I dropped the contents. And as the first to ever do this, I stake my claim for posterity as the First World Champion of Unassisted Water Carriage. I've ordered business cards.





Sadly, I do not expect my record to hold. There are those among us uniquely suited to this challenge by virtue of pectus excavatum : a sunken chest. But for now, I am, by definition, the best in the world.



























