UPDATE with video: Late Show host Stephen Colbert wondered what kind of heartless monster would try to cut Meals on Wheels, a program that provides elderly shut-ins just minimal nutrition and a scrap of human dignity. Fortunately, Conservative Gasbag Stephen Colbert came out of mothballs to explain, presenting “The Werd” on President Donald Trump’s skinny budget: Screw Unto Others.

“Folks, Trump’s budget is getting heat because it’s supposedly cruel to old people for no reason,” Gasbag Colbert began.

White House budget director Mick Mulvaney knows that it’s just the opposite. Mulvaney had to cut Meals on Wheels because the program failed to meet its objective.

“I know what you’re saying: ‘They did meet their objective; they brought food to elderly,'” Colbert said.

But Meals on Wheels launched in the 1970s and “I haven’t checked the stats, but I’m pretty sure all those people are dead now,” Colbert said.

But the budget isn’t just cruel to old people; it also cuts after-school lunch programs for poor kids.

Problem is, this isn’t Trumps budget, it’s his wish list. Only Congress can make a budget. “So, my real worry here is a lot of people might go to House.gov and find out how to call their congressman and tell them to protect kids and old people,” Colbert cautioned. “Because if they did, it could derail all of Donald Trump’s compassion.”