Warlock Patron: The Spoopy Meatball

Legends tell of the meatball to end all meatballs. One that is simultaneously spicy, spooky, and a little bit poopy. Ever since banished from its home plane of Spaghettus, the Spoopy Meatball has roamed the cosmos seeking hungry and unspookable champions to serve its spicy agenda. The true machinations of this being are beyond mortal understanding, and its entire existence may be some kind of tasteless joke.

The Spoopy Meatball

Your patron is a mystical being of great power and slightly silly names. Warlocks of the Spoopy Meatball are generally mistrusted or misunderstood by the larger arcane community.

This connection warps your beliefs and behavior. You may find yourself making more meat and pasta based puns, or having a strage new affinity for Italian cuisine. Many warlocks of the Spoopy Meatball show solidarity with it by changing their name to a similarly silly moniker.

Expanded Spell List

The Spoopy Meatball lets you choose from an expanded list of spells when you learn a warlock spell. The following spells are added to the warlock spell list for you.

Spoopy Meatball Expanded Spells

Spell Level Spells 1st chromatic orb, goodberry 2nd flaming sphere, Snilloc's snowball swarm 3rd fireball, create food and water 4th grasping vine, Otiluke's resilient sphere 5th immolation, modify memory

That'sa Spoopy Meatball!

Starting at 1st level, you gain proficiency with cook's utensils and your spells take on a loosely Italian flavor. For example, when casting the goodberry spell you summon a set of small sustaining meatballs and casting Arms of Hadar conjures a set of spaghetti tentacles. Your spells have no mechanical difference from the standard version.

It's Called What?

Also starting at 1st level, your patron allows you to guess the name of a creature you can see within 60 feet of you as an action. The DM will tell you a silly version of the name the creature is currently using. If the creature lacks a given name, the DM will reveal a silly version of what that monster is called.

Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you finish a short or long rest.

Garlic Bread Feast

Starting at 6th level, your patron grants you the power to create a wonderous feast of buttery and garlicy goodness to feed your allies. Over 10 minutes, you can summon forth a feast that takes 1 hour to consume and disappears at the end of this time. The beneficial effects don't set in until this hour is over and last for 8 hours, and the feast can only feed 8 creatures. All who consume the feast gain temporary hit points equal to your Charisma modifier plus your warlock level and have advantage on saving throws against being frightened or poisoned.

Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you finish a long rest.

Unspoopable

Starting at 10th level, you can no longer be spooped. You are immune to the frightened condition and have advantage on all Wisdom saving throws. In addition, whenever you are subjected to a creature's Frightening Presence trait, you gain temporary hit points equal to two times your warlock level.

Pasta La Vista

Starting at 14th level, you show the true nature of your patron to those around you, severely spooping them. As an action, choose a creature that you can see within 60 feet of you. It must make a Wisdom saving throw against your Warlock spell save DC. On a failed save, the target becomes frightened of you for one minute and takes 5d10 psychic damage. In additon, when a target fails its save against this feature, you may immediately use this feature again on a creature within 10 feet of the target, potentially causing a chain reaction. If a target is killed by this damage, its head turns into an over-sized meatball, assuming it has a head.

Once you use this feature, you can't use it again until you finish a long rest.

Credit: Alison Tong