10 reasons Green Bay will never host a Super Bowl

GREEN BAY – Green Bay will never host a Super Bowl.

The reason is simple: The event is too big and Green Bay is too small.

For the 2018 Super Bowl in Minneapolis, the league had a 154-page demand/wish list of things it would like, most of them for free, and any one of which would be a deal breaker for Green Bay. To be clear, not all of them are requirements, but a few select categories give a hint of the enormity of the event.

So, here are 10 reasons Green Bay will never host a Super Bowl:

• The headline says 10 reasons, but I can give you 30,000, as in hotel rooms, or 35,000, as in the NFL's exclusive use of free parking spaces. Packers President and CEO Mark Murphy told shareholders in 2017 that the NFL would like 30,000 hotel rooms within an hour's drive of Lambeau Field. If you aren't particular (and when is the NFL not particular?) we could probably come up with 8,000 hotel rooms. As to the parking: "Hi. I'm Roger Goodell. Can I park in your yard?"

• Full tax exemption from city, state and local taxes. And you thought Foxconn was demanding. In fact, the words "at no cost to the NFL" come up a lot, as do "will control and receive 100% of the revenues from" whatever will be sold. You're getting the picture, right?

• Imagine, if you will, a Super Bowl fan paying $4,000 to sit on an aluminum bench in the snow in, at best, 25-degree cold. Yeah, the NFL can't imagine it either. Among its minimum requirements are seats at least 19 inches wide with seat backs and arm rests. And a dome if you've got one.

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• Budgets for Super Bowl host committees were as high as $50 million before the 2018 game. Green Bay's entire proposed city budget for 2019 is $107 million. Good luck getting those potholes filled, though that's probably an NFL requirement, too. OK, this one could go both ways.

• Minneapolis raised $53 million in private fundraising to help cover the costs to the city, but unless they name it the Super Bowl Presented by Dick Resch, Green Bay could not come up with that bankroll. Pregame events could be held in the KI Convention Center in downtown Green Bay, named after Resch's company, at the Resch Center in the shadow of Lambeau Field, and maybe even at the Resch Miracle Field in Allouez. Maybe we could get the Richard J. Resch School of Engineering at University of Wisconsin-Green Bay to design a way to stack 35,000 cars in 3,000 parking spaces.

• The league wants exclusive access to two first-class bowling centers and three golf courses. This is Wisconsin. We can do bowling. That the best-available golf courses in February might be 900 miles distant could be a sticking point.

• This:

• The weather here can be, shall we say, variable. Take this week, Super Bowl week, for example. We had 10.5 inches of snow on Monday, and it was 17 degrees below zero with a minus-42 wind chill on Wednesday morning. Even the "neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow" people are taking the day off. But on Super Bowl Sunday, it's supposed to be near 40 degrees above zero. That's too many things the NFL can't control, to say nothing of the paralyzing effect it would have on "the big week."

• The Host Community must be able to provide a minimum of the following types of rental and for-hire vehicles: 750 buses, 500 limousines. 1,000 taxis and 10,000 rental cars. We are only short by about 720 buses, 480 limousines, 960 taxis and 9,700 rental cars. For reasons beyond understanding, pedicabs aren't included.

• This one makes me laugh. The NFL requires written proposals from local newspapers, television and radio stations, and outdoor advertising (billboard) companies to provide significant advertising and promotional time and/or space for the NFL Experience during the month leading up to the Super Bowl game at no cost to the NFL.

So, there you have it. There'll be no Super Bowl game in Green Bay.

All in all, my guess is Green Bay fans would much rather attend a Super Bowl than host one. And the sooner the better.

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