Wouldn’t purchasing a house be far less stressful if you had Phil Dunphy as your realtor?

In honor of everyone’s favorite Modern Family star, here’s a list of Phil Dunphy’s most insightful quotes on real estate. Seriously, these belong on billboards (or on park benches):

1. He knows how to craft a memorable speech.

2. He takes his job seriously — and isn’t afraid to let it be known.

3. He’s an eternal optimist.

4. His realtor advice is often mistaken for poetry.

5. He takes vandalism seriously… sometimes.

6. But gets through it by making the most of the situation.

7. If he wasn’t a realtor, he would have become an educator.

8. His personal branding strategies are flawless.

9. He’s highly skilled in Ninjutsu.

10. His book of Phil’s-osophy should become a required reading.