Sexting fails – what do you do when someone says, “Talk dirty to me!” But how dirty is too dirty? And what exactly do girls actually want you to say to them? Thankfully we’ve compiled a list of things to avoid when sexting so that you sail through and do not fail!

1. Cringe language

Now is not the time to be saying willy but don’t say penis either. Unless you’re talking to your doctor, saying penis just never sounds remotely sexy. Stick to dick or cock. Don’t put off your girl by talking about her anus or clitoris either. Now is the time to try and keep things flowing, not making her laugh or cringe while you’re sliding into her DMs.

Equally, don’t use terms which would offend. Derogatory slang terms aren’t your friends in this aim. Something simple and inoffensive will be absolutely fine. But steer clear of cringe medical terms like buttocks, clitoris, anus and areolas unless it’s a doctor-patient role play because those will surely fall under the sexting fails category.

2. Experimental ideas

Now isn’t the time to suggest anal when you’ve never done it before. Keep it simple. If she asks you what you want to do to her, tell her but don’t get overly graphic. If you’re already sleeping together, then you should know what she likes. Tell her what you’d like to do to her while remembering what she actually enjoys. If she isn’t keen on facials, don’t bring up spunking on her face. But if she loves it when you go down on her, promise that you’ll eat her out until she begs you to stop.

Sexting is more about fantasy than reality. If you’re sexting, chances are you’re messaging because you can’t actually be having sex. In all likelihood, you’re probably apart because who really sexts when you’re both at home? Now is the time to up the ante. Think of your ideal sexual scenario, what’s the best possible conclusion to your date night?

If you love the idea of going out when she isn’t wearing any panties, now you can tell her. It might be a bit of a surprise but something relatively mild in experimental nature shouldn’t backfire. Don’t suggest dogging but do think about what your ideal fantasy is. Tell her how you’d love to surprise her with a romantic evening and keep her cumming all night. Just make it a bit more sexy than a fast food joint by candlelight!

3. Don’t be boring

“I want to kiss you.”

Okay this is short and simple, it hits the nail on the head. But ya know what else? It’s boring! Try something a bit more passionate:

“I want to kiss your neck and bite your ear. Running my fingers through your hair while teasing you. Then to kiss you while feeling you pressed up against me.”

Now while I’m not going to write your script, this balances detail with simplicity. You’re still telling her you want to kiss her but you’re giving her enough of an image to build the steam.

Try and keep a rhythm going, if she starts sexting and you’re replying every ten minutes the chance are high that she’ll get bored. Give her your attention, keep it interesting and ideally don’t follow the same routine every time!

4. Think about what she likes

Sexting is meant to be enjoyable for both of you. Thinking about what she likes will make it better for both of you and give her more reasons to want to continue. Teasing her with more titillating photos rather than being graphic is also a good idea. Whereas men might love seeing boobs straight away, for women the build up to the reveal can be part of the pleasure.

If you’re sending a naughty photo to her, take a snap in a tight t-shirt or unbuttoned shirt before taking it right off. Not only will it be more of a striptease, but it allows her to enjoy imagining what’s underneath. The same goes for dick pics, a snap of your tented jeans can be more erotic than seeing tented boxers immediately. Also, when it comes to undies, slimmer fitting briefs are usually more popular than a pair that look like curtains. A well-taken picture of a hardening erection in Calvin’s is a treat – much better than baggy shorts which barely show anything!

Equally when it comes to actually showing your member, if you do it – a bit of TLC is wise. Presenting yourself in the best possible way doesn’t always entail a birds’ eye view. Look at how she takes her photos and try to copy that style. Less can be more!

What to do and how to avoid sexting fails

It goes without saying that as with anything, there are pitfalls when it comes to sexting. Here are some of the major points to watch out for!

Do:

Be realistic about what you’re into, don’t make promises you won’t deliver on.

Do be honest, don’t sext someone that you’d never go on a date with and don’t give insincere compliments or expectations.

Think of other people’s feelings, if you’re sexting a girl and letting her think you’re interested in her when you’re not, don’t lead her on.

Be cautious about who you sext with, it’s a private matter which can easily get out of hand.

Respect the privacy of whoever you’re messaging with, it’s a personal engagement which shouldn’t become public knowledge.

Delete messages after you’ve sent them, you don’t want to risk others getting access to your inbox.

Don’t: