Due to petty ecological concerns, the state of New York is considering a mass murder of all the mute swans within its borders. The Department of Environmental Conservation, the rather Orwellian name for the group of individuals hell-bent on preventing the conservation of swans, “proposed declaring the swans a ‘prohibited invasive species’ and set a goal to eliminate virtually all of the 2,200 swans in the state by 2025,” The New York Times reports. “The birds would either be shot or captured and gassed; eggs on nests would be oiled, which keeps them from hatching.” If the state want birds’ nests to be “oiled,” just award BP a contract: it creates jobs for humans and graves for birds.

On the one hand: the swans, which “were introduced from Europe in the late 1800s for their aesthetic appeal,” attack people, fellow birds, and nearby aircraft. On the other hand, this extremely tenuous metaphor, courtesy of the Times:

If they were born here, they should be considered native by now,” said Michael Vangi of Bayside, Queens, whose father was born in Italy and who stopped near the bay for lunch. A co-worker, Joseph LoRe, agreed. “I’m not an environmentalist, but that seems kind of messed up,” he said, referring to the extermination plan. “Is that how we treat immigrants?”

A cursory glance at our nation’s rich history of misguided paranoia will reveal. . . yeah, actually, sort of!