As the globe teeters on the edge of Bond madness with the Oct. 23 launch of "Skyfall," the 23rd iteration of the franchise, we breathlessly await the arrival of our immaculately attired hero, whose job description grows with every movie. These days, its falls to Bond not only to look good, save the girl and kill the villain, but he must also be capable of distracting the entire globe from its woes. After all, what does the recession, Syria or the fact that the ice cap is melting even faster than predicted matter, when we have the promise of Daniel Craig's six pack? And for those among us less than...