Our friend and compatriot George Fox has recently won the coveted Golden Toilet Duck Award, which is like the Oscar for Irish comedians, and we’re very proud of him. He’s going to be famous soon, so to get you all ready, Humourisms proudly presents … Five Fun Facts about George Fox!

1. George Fox’s real name is George ‘Foxxy’ Inferno

Did you think Fox was his actual surname? You poor, misguided fool. A surname like that is not given, it’s earned. It has been scientifically proven that when George Fox comes into contact with a female, the probability of orgasm slowly approaches one. His other pseudonyms include ‘Captain Physical Magnetism’, ‘L’explosion de pantaloon’, and ‘Sex’. He’s an attractive man, is what I’m saying.

2. The film Marley and Me was loosely based on the life of George Fox

Not many people know this, but Foxxy-fox balls wasn’t always an award winning comedian. In days gone by, George was a keen dog/romance enthusiast. Sure, sceptics have pointed to the fact that they cut out that scene where Fox beat the labrador for “making him feel.” And by beat the Labrador, I mean the scene when he masterbates while trying to avoid eye contact with the Labrador, ie., his penis.

3. George Fox is a mythical creature in small indigenous South American cultures

Speaking the words ‘el Georgio Foxio’ is forbidden in most small Peruvian towns. The words, roughly translated, mean ‘Moist one who comes at night’. Revered and feared in equal measure, el Foxio is reputed to be responsible for the disappearance of livestock, poor harvests, and the mysterious de-flowering of the village’s sluttiest virgins.

4. George Fox once ate a whole share bag of Meanies

Not even the small ones either. It was a multi-pack, but he opened all the little packets, poured them into the big bag, and then ate them all. No fooling.

5. George Fox has incredible night-vision; provided he is in a place with good street lighting

George has always loved superheroes like Bionic-man and Future Cop, and in an effort to obtain similar powers he had laser eye surgery AND bought a pair of glasses, improving his eyesight from 20:20 to 3:3.

Well done George, we’re all very proud of you. Except Kevin, but he’s just jealous.