On Sunday, we learned that despite the best efforts of German cartoonists, some refugees are still having a hard time understanding how to behave at public pools.

European authorities, increasingly desperate to salvage the “yes we can” refugee narrative in the face of mounting evidence that it may be well nigh impossible to integrate two vastly divergent cultures, have scrambled to put together integration guides and design brochures and pamphlets aimed at “explaining” Western European societal norms to the millions of asylum seekers that now call the bloc home.

Most of the integration guides make some reference to the fact that in polite culture, it’s not appropriate to grope women even if they appear, by Mid-East standards anyway, to be scantily clad. On New Year’s Eve, women reported being sexual assaulted by dozens of “Arab” men in Germany, Finland, and Austria among other countries and since then, officials have focused increasingly on what certainly appears to be a kind of “groping” epidemic perpetrated by asylum seekers.

But it’s not just the “groping.” If Bild is to be believed, some refugees recently engaged in what one might call some “shenanigans” at the Johannisbad baths in Zwickau. Here are the rather disconcerting details from a clumsy (yet exceedingly amusing) Google translation of the original German:

“According bathrooms GmbH have masturbated refugees when visiting swimming baths in pools and emptied their bowels in the water. They are women in sauna harassed and have tried to storm the ladies' locker!”

Needless to say, that won’t do anything to calm Europeans’ frayed nerves.

Far-right Dutch politician Geert Wilders even went so far as to suggest that the “Islamic testosterone bombs” be “locked up” in asylum centers for the sake of “the women.”

On Monday, we get the latest bit of migrant news out of Europe, this time from Sweden where “gangs” of Moroccan migrant children have apparently “taken over” the Stockholm train station where, to let The Daily Mail tell it, they are “stealing, groping” and beating women. Here's the story:

Swedish police warns that Stockholm's main train station has become unsafe after being ‘taken over’ by dozens of Moroccan street children. The all-male migrant teen gangs are spreading terror in the centre of the Swedish capital, stealing, groping girls and assaulting security guards, according to Stockholm police. Members of the gangs, some as young as nine, roam central Stockholm day and night, refusing help provided by the Swedish authorities.

Sweden has seen a dramatic increase in the number of Moroccan under-18s who apply for asylum without a parent or guardian in the past four years, with many later running away from the housing provided to live on the streets in the capital. Stockholm police estimate that at least 200 Moroccan street children move in the area around the main train station in the centre of the capital, sleeping rough, and living off criminal activity. 'These guys are a huge problem for us. They steal stuff everywhere and assault security guards at the central station,' one police officer told SVT. 'They grope girls between their legs, and slap them in the face when they protest. All police officers are aware of this.

So apparently, dozens of nine-year-olds and preteenagers have effectively taken control of a major transportation hub and transformed it into their own personal crime den where security guards are assaulted on site, women are "groped", and girls are "slapped in the face" for trying to protect themselves.

"The gangs are made up of orphans who have grown up on the streets of Casablanca and Tanger in Morocco, where authorities estimate there are around 800,000 homeless 'street children," the Mail continues, adding that "Swedish migration authorities first reported and increase in Moroccan unaccompanied minors applying for asylum in 2012, when 145 arrived, a number which more than doubled in 2013."

Some 500 Moroccan children applied for asylum but around a fifth of those who were placed with foster families or put in group homes ran away and "disappeared off the radar."

It would appear that these missing children are now dug in at the train station where they have brought authorities "to their knees."

So far, police have attempted to solve the problem by arresting the children for "public drunkenness" in order to "get them off the streets for a while." Clearly, that isn't a viable long-term strategy and so, Interior Minister Anders Ygeman now says Sweden is set to round them all up Trump style and ship them back to Morocco, or as Ygeman puts it, "we are in agreement that this is a joint problem for us to solve, and that we both need to find ways of identifying these people and achieve repatriation."

Of course there's another solution. Sweden could just post the following cartoons at the train station: