As we giddily approach the start of the 2015 season, FTW has examined the best- and worst-case scenarios for every NFL team. After hitting the NFC last week, we conclude today with the AFC.

AFC East

Buffalo Bills

Best-case scenario (11-5): Rex Ryan is able to tattoo Tyrod Taylor’s number onto his wife’s body, Shady McCoy is too busy basking in his own orbit to realize that he’s in Buffalo and the Bills make the playoffs, snapping the longest active streak (16 years) in the NFL.

Worst-case scenario (3-13): The drought, which spanned aughts and became the teens becomes the twenty-twenties which become the thirties, which become the 2040s, when people are still talking about Scott Norwood, but at least they have Hoverboards to take away the pain.

Miami Dolphins

Best-case scenario (12-4): Having taken his talents to South Beach, Ndamukong Suh mellows, thanks, in part, to his weekly shuffleboard game with his neighbors, the Shapiros. Buoyed by an already-decent offense, Suh transforms the defense and Miami gives Brady and Belichick what they deserve — a second-place finish.

Worst-case scenario (7-9): Suh is a free-agent bust, then takes his PSA campaign “Stomp Out Illiteracy” a little too seriously and gives Brady and Belichick what they deserve — a second-place finish. Oh, and then he stomps on some dude too.

New England Patriots

Best-case scenario (13-3): Having escaped justice, Tom Brady looks like last year’s late-season QB instead of the early-season one, Bill Belichick isn’t found with a signal jammer in his kangaroo pocket and autumn Monday mornings on WEEI continue to be to four-and-half hours of Tom Brady worship, only warranted.

Worst-case scenario (9-7): Tom Brady and Bill Belichick get caught trying to break into the offices of the Democratic National Committee in Washington’s Watergate hotel and, thanks to intrepid investigations by two gumshoe newspaper reporters, help send the United States on a disillusioned, calamitous political track for the next seven years, all of which somehow culminates in a Jimmy Carter presidency and the creation of disco.

New York Jets

Best-case scenario (8-8): Nobody sucker punches Ryan Fitzpatrick, which is good because that punching hand might get lost in Fitzy’s decidedly un-Harvard mountain-man beard.

Worst-case scenario (4-12): The Jets are unable to keep up New York’s second-team resurgence, started by the Mets, and earn permanent scorn from the Nets and Islanders in the process.

AFC North

Baltimore Ravens

Best-case scenario (13-3): Joe Flacco is elite.

Worst-case scenario (6-10): Joe Flacco is not elite.

Cincinnati Bengals

Best-case scenario (10-6): Andy Dalton proves worthy of his $115 million contract and leads — no, sorry I couldn’t get through that without laughing.

Worst-case scenario (6-10): Andy Dalton finally shows what Andy Dalton is, a very average, stable, NFL quarterback who, according to style tips in the latest issue of Cosmo, should never wear red.

Cleveland Browns

Best-case scenario (7-9): After a night of drinking, LeBron James convinces Aaron Rodgers that he’s from Akron and it’s his civic duty to return to Cleveland and lead the Browns to a championship. By the time Rodgers has sobered up, his trade demand has gone through and The Cleve is back in the game.

Worst-case scenario (2-14): When you have Johnny Manziel on a roster, every case is a worst scenario.

Pittsburgh Steelers

Best-case scenario (13-3): Chuck Noll’s first game as Pittsburgh Steelers head coach came two months after the moon landing. Since then, there have been only two other Steelers coaches (Bill Cowher and current coach Mike Tomlin). That has nothing specifically to do with this season, it’s just an amazing stat and means Tomlin — still only 43 years old somehow — may be coach when men land on the moon.

Worst-case scenario (7-9): While trying to trip a Baltimore Ravens player, Tomlin accidentally trips one of his own and the resulting fall causes the football to deflate upon impact of the turf leading to eight months of controversy culminating in 83-year-old Dan Rooney challenging Roger Goodell to a fight, which Rooney easily wins.

AFC South

Houston Texans

Best-case scenario (11-5): Bill O’Brien leads the Texans to the AFC South title thanks to J.J. Watt, who scores six touchdowns, including some on offense. Ja--deveon Clowney shows why he was the No. 1 pick and going with Brian Hoyer proves to be the right move.

Worst-case scenario (3-13):

Indianapolis Colts

Best-case scenario (14-2): Entering the season as AFC favorites proves to be no problem for Andrew Luck who, along with the ageless Frank Gore, puts up the best numbers of his career en route to becoming the most successful neck-bearder since Abraham Lincoln.

Worst-case scenario (8-8): Andrew Luck follows the path of Peyton Manning, who had a mediocre fourth season and was left out of the playoffs — one of only two times that happened since his rookie season.

Jacksonville Jaguars

Best-case scenario (6-10): Did you know four teams have longer playoff droughts than the Jags? I know! I was stunned too. They are Buffalo (1999), Oakland (2002), Cleveland (2002) and St. Louis (2004). But because it wouldn’t be a Jags story with some depressing news, half the NFL had at least as many wins last season as Jacksonville has over the last three years (9).

Worst-case scenario (1-15): Getting the No. 1 pick in a year in which the top quarterback prospect is Penn State’s Christian Hackenberg.

Tennessee Titans

Best-case scenario (11-5): Slaying the ghosts of Akili Smith and Joey Harrington, Oregon product Marcus Mariota proves to be more Dan Fouts than the rest of the Ducks’ NFL failures and mimics the rookie class of 2012 by taking the Titans back to the playoffs, starting on what could be a reverse Peyton Manning/Ryan Leaf situation, depending on how Jameis Winston does in the league.

Worst-case scenario (4-12): I just have to share these insane Akili Smith career numbers: 3-14 record, 46.6% completions, 2212 yards in 17 starts, 5 touchdowns, 13 interceptions and 59 sacks. The worst-case scenario is Mariota being half as bad as that.

AFC West

Denver Broncos

Best-case scenario (13-3): Peyton Manning stays healthy and has enough remaining arm strength to make one last run at a Super Bowl, one that won’t be interrupted by blown coverages on Joe Flacco bombs or snaps that go over his head.

Worst-case scenario (6-10): Peyton Manning doesn’t stay healthy, Lurch Osweiler comes in at quarterback and Gary Kubiak shows everyone why he didn’t last with the Texans. Meanwhile, in Philadelphia, Tim Tebow is performing miracles week after week making the Broncos faithful question why they ever strayed from the flock.

Kansas City Chiefs

Best-case scenario (11-5): This happens 11 times during the season:

Worst-case scenario (6-10): There is no worst-case scenario when this exists:

Oakland Raiders

Best-case scenario (8-8): Derek Carr drives the Raiders offense (see what I did there), Amari Cooper becomes one of those awesome 1980s Raiders receivers and not Darrius Heyward-Bey and Jack Del Rio is successfully able to use an axe as a motivational tool.

Worst-case scenario (3-13): The Raiders move to Los Angeles, which promptly sends them back to Oakland.

San Diego Chargers

Best-case scenario (12-4): I don’t know, I sort of like San Diego this year.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4LAhmWsavg

Worst-case scenario (5-11): The Chargers move to Los Angeles, crippling the San Diegoites — San Diegaons — San Diegans, crippling the southerwestern bolo tie market, which sends ripples to Wall Street and sends the stock market careening so badly that Philip Rivers can only afford to have 14 more children.