The notes on this post are a fucking delight but here’s mine: My family always named the spiders in the house alphabetically, and then let then just stay where they were unless they were likely to be smooshed, then they’d be ‘escorted’ outside or to a safer part of the house via paper and cup.

My first roommate in college was not appreciative when she pointed out a large spider on the wall above my bed with the intention that I should kill it, only to be told “Yeah that’s Albert.”