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GRAFFITI artists, who insist on defacing buildings with visually striking murals that draws attention to neglected areas or reinvigorates towns and villages, have been told by local councils to ‘cut it the fuck out’ unless they’re Banksy.

Banksy, long understood to be so good at graffitiing that his work is impervious to being painted over, remains the one and only reference for the artform understood by the average person and local councils, who work round the clock to get rid of works appreciated by the majority of locals.

“Historically speaking graffiti is only ever good if Banksy does it, so says the news anyway. They even made a film about it, they let him in a museum – that’s how good he is,” confirmed one council official who is only on board with graffiti style murals when they are paid for by a brand desperately selling something to the masses.

“Walls are for being covered in for ads for stuff like banks that bankrupted us, insurance companies that lie about claims and prominent sport stars who are embroiled in unsavory scandals. Not stupid ‘art’,” explained a council official before handing over a long and complicated form graffiti artists have to fill out in order to apply for permission to tag a wall which read ‘Are you Banksy?’ accompanied by a ‘no’ option that concluded ‘well then, fuck off so and stop ruining walls’.

The recurring situation graffiti artists find themselves in has created a legal challenge nightmare for councils as some of the more egotistical artists do believe they are Banksy.