They say acceptance is the key.

Some shit you gotta let go.

Let it be.

I go against the grain.

I gotta know;

what when where

why the change.

I couldn’t understand me.

There were days I got turned around.

Couldn’t stand me.

Back then;

My demons were mine.

I didn’t know better.

I thought I was fine.

To me.

I was supposed to suffer.

I may have hated my mother

but I was supposed to love her.

For a long time I wasn’t convinced.

I couldn’t grasp it.

It made no sense.

We had money shoes and clothes.

Spent time with drug dealers killers

and hoes.

I was groomed to be cold and mean.

People couldn’t imagine what I’ve been through.

The things I’ve seen.

Constantly moving from household

to household.

Detrimental effects.

It took its toll.

How was I to think life was a gift.

No stability

My life;

It would shift.

I was never taught love exists.

It was about gain

and what you can get.

I was never taught to trust.

Give a little

but not too much.

I was never taught about compassion.

I was taught;

Opportunity plus gain;

don’t pass it.

I had to revamp my whole way of thinking.

It wasn’t until the end was near

I started sinking.

I found pleasure in destruction.

Pain I was drinking.

Then;

I couldn’t do it anymore.

I hit rock bottom

through the floor.

I found what I had to lose.

Only to myself

Did I have something to prove.