Report: Mansplaining Down But Woman Confusion Up

U.S.—In great news for everyone, studies have shown that a campaign against mansplaining has had great results, with mansplaining now at a historic low. In unrelated bad news, though, there’s been a marked increase in women being extremely confused.

“It’s really confusing,” said Tanya Stokes, a woman. “I have no idea what’s going on.”

So while women feel better that men aren’t constantly talking down to them, women also seem to be experiencing difficulty following the plots of prestige TV shows, understanding the latest current events, and comprehending basic science facts.

“We just can’t figure out why this is happening,” said Doctor Cassandra Mcguire, part of a group of lady scientists. “And no one seems to want to help us.” She looked to some nearby male scientists, some of whom looked like they wanted to say something but instead just stared at the floor.

Still, Dr. Mcguire was hopeful it was a temporary phenomenon. “Maybe it has something to do with the moon,” she said. “You know, like how it has phases which affect the tides with varying magnetism.”

“AKSHULLY—,” one of the male scientists finally blurted out, but he was torn apart before he could complete his statement.

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