Virginia senator Tim Kaine will be Hillary Clinton’s running mate on the Democratic Party ticket in the 2016 presidential election. Here’s what you need to know about Kaine:

Nat Kaine—an active duty infantry officer in the United States Marine Corps—and two others


Previous Occupation:

Prospective vice presidential candidate



Years Spent Sort Of Blending Into Scenery:

58

Religious Views:

Weird kind of Catholic where you don’t let it affect your political decision-making


It’s becoming increasingly clear this doesn’t matter

Favorite Food:

Plain

Relationship To Banks:

Committed, long-term

Childhood Dream:

To help shore up support among conservative Democrats and secure a pivotal swing state


Biggest Strength:

Can speak Spanish almost as well as the many actual Hispanic candidates Clinton could have chosen


Biggest Liability:

As Virginia governor, appointed Robert Bloxom as State Secretary of Agriculture and Forestry, and look how that shit-for-brains fucked everything up


Volunteer Work:

Has worked as missionary converting Hondurans and, more recently, undecided voters


Political Positions:

Please refer to HillaryClinton.com