Good evening everybody. Sombreros, berets, comedy moustaches, onion necklaces and other lazy national stereotypes at the ready for tonight's Guardian minute-by-minute coverage of this Group A encounter at the Peter Mokaba Stadium in Polokwane, 1,229m above sea level.

To put that in perspective, this is the fourth highest of the 10 World Cup finals venues. To put that in even more perspective, Paris is 130m above sea level at its highest point, compared to Mexico City at 2,240m. I make that advantage Mexico before a Jabulani has been kicked ... 5mph faster than it would be at sea level.

Diego Forlan drove Uruguay top of this group last night with their emphatic win over hosts South Africa, which means defeat for either of these two sides would leave them in all sorts of bother, leaving them three points off the pace with one match to play and relying on other results, goal difference, other teams not conspiring against them by colluding and all the usual last-round-of-the-group-stage shenanigans. But you're clever and already know all that, so you don't need me to tell you.

If you're struggling to recall how either or both these sides fared in their opening matches because you're in the early stages of senility, your synapses are fried through years of alcohol and/or drug abuse, or some other reason, here are David Hytner's report on France's dull opener against Uruguay and Paul Wilson's account of Mexico's opener against South Africa, for your reading pleasure.

Kick-off is at 7.30pm. I'll be back at 7pm or so to bring you all the team news and pre-match build-up.

Okey dokey, for anyone who's heard about them, but never seen them in action, here's RTE's answer to the Match Of The Day Lineker, Hanson, Shearer and Dixon axis of tedium in action, picking over the bones of the Republic of Ireland's exit from the World Cup qualifying play-off at the hands of France. From the left: Bill O'Herlihy and pundits John Giles, Graeme Souness and Eamon Dunphy. This is Dunphy in comparatively mellow mode. Here is in slightly less mellow mode after seeing Sven-Goran Eriksson being interviewed by Garth Crooks after England struggled to beat Ecuador four years ago.

France: Lloris, Sagna, Gallas, Abidal, Evra, Govou, Toulalan,

Diaby, Malouda, Ribery, Anelka.

Subs: Mandanda, Reveillere, Planus, Gourcuff, Cisse, Gignac, Henry, Squillaci, Diarra, Valbuena, Clichy.

Mexico: Perez, Osorio, Moreno, Rodriguez, Salcido, Marquez,

Giovani, Juarez, Torrado, Vela, Franco.

Subs: Ochoa, Barrera, Castro, Blanco, Aguilar, Hernandez, Guardado, Magallon, Torres, Bautista, Medina, Michel.

Referee: Khalil Al Ghamdi (Saudi Arabia)

On yellow cards and will miss next match if they get booked France: Jeremy Toulalan, Patrice Evra, Franck Ribery. Mexico: Efrain Juarez, Gerrardo Torrado.

Match pointers with which to bore your fellow drinkers (if you're in the pub and reading this on an iPhone or Blackberry, for whatever reason)

• Mexico have never won a World Cup match against any of the seven countries that have won the competition (11 defeats and five draws)

• France are unbeaten in their last eight finals games, although they have drawn half of those matches

• Mexico have scored at least one goal in each of their last nine World Cup games against European sides

• Nicolas Anelka has failed to have a shot on target in 384 consecutive minutes for the French side

• Mexico have made it to the knockout stage in their previous five World Cup participations

Brian O Donnchadha writes: "I've been living in the states now for just over four years and I was finally beginning to forget what craggy-face Dunphy looked like," he says. "Thanks for undoing years of hard work." Living in the States with a name like that? Rather you than me. I'm going to go out on a limb and guess the natives struggle with it.

Not long now: The teams emerge from the tunnel, led by the referee who picks the ball of its plinth. I remain cautiously optimistic that one of them will forget to do that some night and then have to scurry back to get it hoping nobody will notice. Alternatively, it would be amusing if whoever it is whose job it is to place it on the plinth decided, for a laugh, to put a rugby ball or a nice cake there instead. Or glue the ball down to it. What are they going to do on the night of the final, when they'll need two plinths: one for the World Cup trophy and one for the official match-ball? These are the things I lie awake at night thinking and worrying about.

1 min: Mexico win the toss on a windy night in Polokwane and Elect to play from right to left. France kick off. Both sets of players line up in the colours you'd expect them to.

2 min: Mexico concede a free-kick not far inside the Mexico half for a Carlos Salcido bodycheck on Franckl Ribery. The ball is launched high into the night sky towards the Mexican penalty area. They clear their lines.

3 min: Mexico gallop clear on the break, the ball is played down the left channel into the path of Giovani Dos Santos, who shoots across the face of goal only to see the ball hit the foot of the post and bounce back into play. Wouldn't have counted anyway - he was offside.

5 min: Mexico striker Guillermo Franco picks up the first yellow card of the night, either for a foul on Abou Diaby or for standing in front of the ball so FVrance couldn't take a quick free-kick. He's furious with the referee. Nic Anelka blasts the ball over the bar from the edge of the final third.

7 min: In quick succession, both goalkeepers are forced to race into action to catch through-balls being chased down by strikers. Hugo Lloris was probably given most to think about.

8 min: From outside the centre-circle inside his own half, Rafael Marquez dinks a beautifully weighted long ball over the top of the France defence. It bounces and sits up beautifully for Carlos Vela to either try his luck with a diagonal volley or square for two team-mates - Franco and Salcido - sprinting into the middle. The Arsenal striker opts to shoot but blasts the ball high over the bar.

10 min: It's been an entertaining opening 10 minutes, despite the best attempts of the referee, who seems a bit whistle-happy and has already had words with Mexican full-back Ricardo Osorio, telling him to pull his sleeves down. Are referees even allowed do that?

12 min: For Mexico, Franco turns and shoots over the bar from the edge of the penalty area. Moments previously, France had gone close when Malouda tried to pull the ball back for Ribery in the Mexico penalty, only for a defender to make a crucial interception. There was somebody nipping at Malouda's ankles in a crowded penalty area - if he'd gone to ground he might well have got a penalty.

14 min: France win a free-kick about 40 yards from the Mexico goal, in line with the right hand side of the penalty area. They try a training ground move that involves Ribery peeling off the edge of the defensive wall, picking up a short pass then whipping the ball across the face of goal from the right. It's fractionally too high for Abou Diaby at the far post.

16 min: It's real end-to-end stuff here, which means I'm struggling to find time to tell you anything about how France have lined up. They're playing a 4-3-3, with Ribery in the hole behind Anelka, and Malouda in his preferred position on the left of the front bank of three, rather than the middle bank of three where Raymond Domenech has been playing him in recent matches.

19 min: For Mexico, Carlos Salcido tries his luck from just outside the penalty area. He pulls a low daisy-cutter a couple of feet wide of the right upright.

19 min: Mexico win a free-kick in the right channel for an Evra foul on Giovani. It's within shooting range.

20 min: This ref is being a real nitpicky pain in the proverbials. He accuses the Marquez and/or Dos Santos of moving the ball a couple of feet forward from where their free-kick should be taken and insists they put it back. I don't think either of them had bothered trying to steal a couple of feet. After all that palaver, Giovani Dos Santos blasts it into the wall.

23 min: Florent Malouda wins a corner for France off Ricardo Osorio, whose sleeves remain down. Ribery plays it low and shortish to Sagna, receives it back and then crosses it in from a better angle. Rodriguez heads clear with Anelka lurking.

25 min: Jeremy Toulalan sends a wonderful outswinger of a cross in from the right touchline. On the edge of the six-yard box, Florent Malouda leaps highest - really high, in fact - but mistimed his jump and failed to make contact.

27 min: Sprinting down the left touchline with the ball at his feet, Mexican winger Carlos Salcido cuts inside Sagna with a nutmeg, then advances on goal. William Gallas backs off him, allowing him a free shot on goal. He shoots straight at Hugo Lloris who'd come off his line to narrow the angle. The danger averted, Lloris gives Gallas a rollocking for leaving him so exposed.

29 min: Rafael Marquez tries to find Dos Santos with another ball over the French backline. Close, but no cigar. Mexico striker Carlos Vela goes down and is then helped off with what looks like hamstring-twang - his World Cup is almost certainly over. Mexico play on with 10 men for the itme being.

30 min: Mexico substitution: Vela off, Pablo Barrera on. France win a corner from which nothing come. After half an hour, France have enjoyed the better of an entertaining nil-niller, but certainly aren't having it all their own way.

32 min: Mexico's substitute almost has an immediate impact. After more good work in his station out on the left touchline, Salcido drops a marvellous cross into the corridor of uncertainty between goalkeeepr and defence. Lloris rushes off his line to punch clear, but the ball ricochets off Barrera's head, loops back from whence it came and drops this much over the bar. That was inches away from being an incredibly lucky opener.

35 min: For Mexico, Gerrardo Torrado tries a shot from 35 yards out. Some lucky punter sitting in the gods behind the goal gets a nice souvenir to bring home.

37 min: Free-kick for France, 35 or so yards out, a little left of centre. Ribery shoots into the wall, where Torrado blocks with his face.

38 min: Unlike in some other matches, you can actually hear some bogstandard stadium noise over the drone of the vuvuzelas. Chanting, the draught generated by Mexican waves and the stadium announcer. "He sounds tremendous," declares Sean Welch, (yes that Sean Welch ... y'know, the former bass player with The Beautiful South). "Exactly like James Earl Jones playing God on The Simpsons."

40 min: Marvellous work from Franco, who despite lying on the ground outside the French penalty manages to hook a bouncing ball towards Dos Santos. Under pressure from Evra, he sends a low drive fizzing wide of the right upright.

43 min: "When the ref told the Mexican player to pull his sleeves down was that his way of telling him to stop trying so hard?" asks Ian Copestake.

44 min: "A player got told off for having his sleeves rolled up you say?" asks Joe Bentley. "That's a slippery slope. What next? Yellow cards for slouching? Ties becoming part of the kit? The beautiful game is moving in dangerous direction here."

44 min-and-a-bit: Nicolas Anelka tries a shot from distance but it deflects off Francisco Rodriguez, whose intercession takes the sting off it.

44+2 min: As Mexico gallop clear on the counter-attack, James Earl Jones (it's remarkable - listen out on the highlights) announces there'll be two minutes of injury-time. Jeremy Toulalan cynically hauls down Guillermo Franco and gets a yellow card for his troubles. He'll miss France's match against South Africa.

Half-time

Celebrity spot: I just went out for a breath of fresh air (OK, a smoke) and had to walk through the scrum of attendees at a photography exhibition launch in the front parlour of the Guardian office. And bedad who was there looking brown as a berry in a nice blue summer dress but TV presenter and former Boddington's girl Melanie Sykes. She's looking well. And this minute-by-minute report is turning into a copy of Heat magazine.

Half-time emails: "Barry, surely your attempt to introduce Eamon Dunphy can't be complete without his gloriously bitter summation of Roy Keane's career following Keane's departure from Man Utd," writes Fionnan Johnson.

"Please tell Mr. Copstake that it depends on what part of the world you are from," writes Jesualdo Ferreira. "Here in Portugal we tell our young people to roll up their sleeves and put up their socks. Over the border in Spain they say 'pull your socks down and tear off your sleeves'. I was talking to chap from North Korea and he said they say 'Put your sleeve cuffs down and put your socks on your hands.' I also heard that the Greeks do very bad thing with their socks! Funny old world."

Second half: France substitution: Gignac on, Nic Anelka on. They need to make a substitution because they've created very little. France win a free kick within range for Franck Ribery, well right of centre. Ribery dinks it over the wall towards the edge of the six-yard box and a Mexican hacks clear.

47 min: "On RTE, Ronnie Whelan and Eamon Dunphy just disected the French performance, showing that Gallas, Gouvou and the others want to be at home and are not breaking past a jog," writes Paul Reynolds. "The players have no interest according to the lads and they say Domenech has zero influence."

48 min: Two yellow cards in quick succession, both for Mexicans. Full back Moreno for a shove on Malouda, followed by right-winger Juarez for a foul on Abou Diaby.

49 min: Mexico win a free-kick right of centre, close enough to goal for Marquez or Dos Santos to have a pop.

50 min: Another training ground move. Dos Santos sprints past the left-hand side of the French wall to the touchline, Marquez drills the ball towards him and the Spurs player sends in a cross. It's too low and flat for any of his team-mates to get near it.

52 min: "Dunphy's finest hour was his character assassination of Terry Venables," writes Hugh Collins. "Gary Lineker would rather slit his own face than express opinions this strong on any subject."

53 min: Malouda picks up the ball on the right flank, cuts inside and advances on goal before unleashing a right-footed surface-to-air effort from the edge of the penalty area. In the Mexico goal, Oscar Perez is forced to tip the ball over. Nothing comes from the corner.

55 min: Mexico substitution: Javier Hernandez on, Efrain Juarex off. From the exact same position as Malouda shot moments previously, Franck Ribery stings Perez's palms with a left-footed rasper. The goalkeeper puts the ball out for a corner, from which nothing comes.

56 min: "Even funnier than Eamonn Dunphy and co is the RTE mickey-take on their Apres Match program," writes M Turpie. "Here is a send-up of Dunphy and new boy Didi Hamann."

58 min: Mexico win a free-kick on the edge of the final third. Dos Santos tries to swing it into the far post, but succeeds only in sending the ball flying high over the bar.

59 min: Mexico have a huge incentive to win this match. If they do they'll be level with Uruguay on four points, which would enable both teams to play out a draw and guarantee their berths in the knockout stages. Of course France have a huge incentive to win this match too - making sure the scenario outlined above isn't played out.

61 min: Mexico substitution: Cuauhtemoc Blanco, aged 72, on, Guillermo Franco off. Mexico are turning the screw here - they're bossing the game. France are being over-run in midfield and Andre-Pierre Gignac hasn't had a kick since coming on at half-time.

GOAL! Mexico 1-0 France (Hernandez) SWith his back to goal, Hernandez plays the ball back to Marquez on the halfway line, turns and sprints towards the France goal. Marquez dinks a beautifully weighted pass over the top for the substitute to run on to. He's directly in line with the static defence when the ball is played: onside. His first touch is marvellous, bringing him clean through on goal with the ball at his feet. He takes it right and wide of Lloris, slots it into the empty net and wheels away in celebration. That is a marvellous goal from the new Manchester United recruit.

66 min: France free-kick in the Mexico left-back position - Ribery curls the ball into the arms of Mexico goalkeeper Oscar Perez.

68 min: France are staring into the abyss here - lose this and any chance they have of avoiding a humiliating exit in the group stages is minimal. They'll have been cheering that goal in the saloons of Guadalajara, Mexico City, Tijuana and Dublin.

70 min: France substitution: Sidney Govou, who has had a shocker, off. Marseille's attacking midfielder Mathieu Valbuena replaces him. Thierry Henry remains anchored to the bench, while on the touchline, Raymond Domenech remains poker-faced.

72 min: I can't see France getting back into this. Half their players aren't trying a leg, while the few who are creating little or nothing. Their fans deserve better. Heck, Ireland's fans deserve better. Malouda's been their stand-out player and he's probably only playing well out of spite.

73 min: Gignac shoots high and wide from outside the penalty area.

75 min: "A roar has gone up in our quiet carriage of the 20:38 from Sheffield to London as everyone refreshed their mobile internet pages (no wifi) and found on entering Chesterfield that France were losing," writes Paul Mason, who appears not to have considered the fact that such scenes of jubilation invariably ensue whenever any train arrives at Chesterfield. It's a very nice place and has a nice church with a crooked spire.

PENALTY FOR MEXICO! Pablo Barrero skins Patrice Evra down the right flank and gets tripped by Eric Abidal in the penalty area. The ref points straight to the spot.

GOAL! Mexico 2-0 France (Blanco 79) The elderly substitute takes a massive run-up and blasts the ball low and to Lloris's left.

79 min: Sorry. His left, Lloris's right.

80 min: That was remarkable, Evra appeared not to give a hoot as Barrero sauntered past him, leaving Abidal exposed, but with no real need to lunge in as Barrero was in danger of running the ball out of play. When the referee pointed to the spot, Domenech was leaning against the edge of the dug-out looking totally expressionless. When the penalty was scored, he was leaning against the dugout looking totally expressionless. Three minutes later, he's still leaning against the edge of the dugout looking totally expressionless.

82 min: France win a free-kick about 35 yards out. Ribery blasts it into the wall, where it hits Marquez.

84 min: I can feel my phone buzzing away in my pocket, with text message after text message arriving. Either I've done something to upset the missus or assorted compatriots are sharing their delight at this France demise.

85 min: I forgot to mention at the time - Abidal got booked for his penalty-conceding foul on Barrera.

86 min: "Didi Hamann loves his horse-racing," texts my mate Bullets Curley from a field in Dublin. "He's out here in Leopardstown drinking and smoking and backing horses." It's well for some.

87 min: "Has anyone ever sacked a manager during the World Cup?" asks Sam Fletcher. "If I were head of the FFF, I would be tempted to sack Domenech after this game. Mind you, it brings you back to the question: why have they employed him for so long?"

88 min: Blanco tries to play Dos Santos through on goal with a through-ball from distance. His visionary pass is a teensy bit too weighty and Lloris beats the Mexican striker to the ball.

90 min: James Earl Jones announces that Mexico will have three additional minutes in which to heap more humiliation on France.

90+1 min: Domenech is still leaning against the dug-out, while all his subs are congregated down behind one goal. He hasn't said a word since the second goal went in, probably because he knows there's no point because his players wouldn't listen to him.

90+2 min: Peep! Peep! Peep! It's all over - Mexico have won a thoroughly deserved victory. To have any chance of getting out Group A, France will need to beat South Africa well and hope Uruguay and Mexico don't draw. If they play on that night like they did tonight, the draw won't matter because they've no chance of beating South Africa. Their manager is an idiot and almost to a man, their players are a disgrace to their country.

"Post this, Barry," writes Anthony O'Connell. "You know you want to." It would be my absolute pleasure, Anto. To the people of France on behalf of the people of the Republic of Ireland ...