I’ve heard it before. The concern, the deep sorrow, the grim warning — “It’s your choice. But I love you, so I’m worried that if you don’t change, you’ll go to hell. I’ll pray that God touches your heart.”

Well, I guess you can go in the corner and pray that God fondles my heart. It’s a free country, even if that is kinda creepy. But I honestly feel sorry for you; seems like a waste of the only life you have, to be honest. I mean, I’m not going to hell, and you’re not going to heaven. We’re both going to rot in the same ground, so it’s a shame you’re wasting your time.

At the same time shouldn’t the thought that we’ll both rot the same way make you happy? I mean, wouldn’t you be relieved to know that I’m not going to hell, seeing as how you’re so “concerned” about me and all? Because if you’re not…maybe, deep down, you kinda still hope to be sipping champagne in heaven while looking at me in the flames and being all, “I told you so.”

That’s the deal with hell. It doesn’t exist, but it sure is a way to rub in superiority while showing faux concern — pitying the poor, ignorant, blinded-by-arrogance atheists who (the poor things!) will be roasting in hell forever if they don’t agree with you, bless their hearts.

Take Ken Ham’s recent article “Richard Dawkins’s Mind Is Closed,” for example. Ham states that Richard Dawkins, in spite of many arguments with his friends that supposedly contains “overwhelming evidence,” refuses to be convinced of God’s obvious presence (so sad!). As a result, Ham continues, “We need to pray for [Dawkins]. His heart is hard and he is blind.”

This from the guy who we saw debate Bill Nye. Bill Nye is awesome in that debate, but I don’t want to subject you to an hour of Ken Ham when there is a perfectly good 30-second summary of his main argument available:

Yeah……..

Anyways, poor Dawkins (Ken Ham mourns), with his hard heart and chronic blindness. What a tragedy (according to the man who thinks a superstition made up thousands of years ago is superior to evolutionary scientists because, um, it’s in a book).

And what will be poor, poor Dawkins’s penalty, according to Ham?

Dawkins has spent most of his life rejecting the writings of Moses, particularly Genesis, and trying to get as many people as he can to follow his rebellious lifestyle that leads directly to hell. Yes, we do need to pray much for him. Lord, open Richard Dawkins’ mind, and let the light of the glorious gospel of Jesus Christ illuminate his hardened heart!

How…sincere, eh?

OK…look, Christians. Here’s the deal. We aren’t going to hell, you’re not going to heaven, and we’re both gonna die. If that messes up your whole superiority complex of laughing at tormented souls from your heavenly laurels, sorry/not sorry.

But the other thing is that, right now, we’re both alive. And we have an opportunity to actually bridge the divide and talk to each other before the end. So maybe before assuming shit about me based on what outdated tales say about me, you should humble yourself and respect me a bit as someone who maybe doesn’t deserve eternity in hellfire so that we can get to know each other a more while we’re here — not the person some book made up that we are, but who we actually are.

Because this is it, from the cradle to the grave, and we’re all in it together. So why not take advantage of the one life we have by actually getting to know each other, instead of wasting time talking to imaginary friends on our knees?

Just a thought.

Thanks for reading.

And now, this: