I remembered just last night when my best friend and I sat down to have a beer and chill, suddenly he asked me this, “Why are we still single?” It was suppose to be a plain joke, since we were both quite enjoying the freedom of being single. But, when I went to bed later on, I can’t really get this thought out of my head, “Is there a definite reason to why some people are still single? or is there a trick and hack out of the single life that some are desperately trying to crawl out?” So, I did a bit digging again and here are a few reasons that I think most of us (single guys and girls) are facing.

10. You’re still single because you value independence more.

This may be the most common reason for those mentally strong individuals. Those people will avoid being committed into a relationship because they are afraid that they’ll become dependent on their other half. They are fixated on retaining their independence and their freedom of choice. Successful couples will tell you that having alone time is a necessity, but its not like being in a relationship will take all your independence away. However, they will be some level of compromise, such as where to go, what to eat, when to go out to have alone time to future plan. So, you’re not prepared to have a commitment and value more freedom, then stick to being single. You can’t want a relationship and an independence life at the same time as this kind of relationship simply doesn’t exist. The trick is, “If you want to be dependent, make sure its the right one.”

9. You’re still single because you’re picky or you just don’t know what you want.

Don’t get me wrong, its alright to be selective on who you want to be committed to in your relationship. If you feel that he or she just isn’t the one that you feel comfortable with, then bye bye isn’t wrong. However, don’t go around playing hard to get and being picky on all the wrong reasons. If you’re just confused on what kind of person you’ll be happy with, then its okay to go on a few dates with different people. Going on a few dates will expose you to different personalities and traits and help you realize what attract you the most. Sometimes, some traits are more important than you thought, and the usual, “Tall, Rich and Handsome” just doesn’t cut it anymore. Besides that, dating will also help you in being more confident and comfortable with the others. If you don’t feel it after the first or second date, then stop because there’s nothing wrong with that either. Everyone knows that, you can’t force feelings.

8. You’re still single because you’re living in your world and don’t go out to meet new people.

If you’re like me, staying comfortably with my own circle of friends and staying home watching iflix then the percentage of you landing on a new date is pretty much slim to nothing. Dating is pretty much is a numbers game, so the more single people you meet the higher the chances on landing a few dates and actually climbing out that single hole. Try expanding your social circle by going out on a few drinks or trips with colleagues or friends that are bringing their friends or just attending a talk or seminar. And yes, I know going out on continuous basis is expensive, but in reality, being in a relationship is guaranteed to blow a few cash.

7. You’re still single because you keep thinking of “The One”.

I’m sure that everyone have that kind of ideal mate or relationship in mind, you’ll fantasize on your prince charming or sexy maiden and try your best to find that person. The truth is, it might take a long or even worse, he/she just doesn’t exist (except in your fairy tale). No one is perfect, so there is no such thing as a perfect boyfriend and girlfriend. There is surely some ups and downs. However, I understand that getting stuck at that mindset of “The One” is somewhere out there is sometimes unavoidable, but if you want to actually find or wait for “The One”, how about slightly changing your mindset by choosing someone, then let them to get close, and let them be that special and perfect someone to you.

6. You’re still single because you feel that all good ones are taken.

Do you ever have that feeling when you see your friends with great mates or even your siblings found someone amazing and you think that all the good ones are taken? I know you’re happy for them but sometimes it will just keep you wondering, are there anyone good left for me? If so, its time to wake up bro/sis, do know that there are 7 billion people on planet earth and millions of them are still singles, I’m sure that a lot of them are awesome, so why not give people that are trying to impress you a chance to show you their awesome-ness. Don’t be so negative, it will turn around and bite you in the ass and I’ll talk more about it in the next advice.

5. You’re still single because you’re too negative minded.

Are you always negative minded? Like you always think that someone is cheating on you or just like to complain about all the small things in life? You can’t stand others are doing better than you and want to put them down. If you answer yes, then I think its time to have a 180 degree change on yourself if you want a relationship. Its a known fact that people tend to like being with someone with positive personalities and happy so you, being miserable all the time will take a long time, or maybe even never find someone who will see you as attractive. Get out of that negative life of yours by looking at the positive side of life. Smile more, compliment more, complain less and worry less. Try to relax and enjoy the small bits of happiness that life brings.

4. You’re still single because you’re too fixed on internet romance.

Going into the modern era where being connected to the net is a must, going onto online romances isn’t. Sadly, with all the con man and attention seekers on the internet nowadays, dating online just isn’t the real deal. Yes, I understand that kind of attachment and needs might make you think you’re in a relationship, but its not always real. Why do I know? Because I played Tinder too, most of my friends played it too, and most of the time it got nowhere. Let’s just say you got it for a week, what about after that? How long can you maintain that kind of relationship? My advice is, stick back to the classic and old-fashioned kind of attachment, it works during the cavemen era until now. Nowadays, I don’t think corny pick up lines and those “pictures” will work the way up to true love or anyone’s hearts.

3. You’re still single because you’re still thinking of your Ex.

Still can’t get that someone special from your past out of your head? Don’t worry, its natural. A lot of us do that, its not something to get over that easily, sometimes I would also look back at photos and idealize about her and I think that the most common reason why some of us can’t move on. But, if you still have emotional sadness still lock inside of your head, I advise you to let it go first before jumping into a new relationship. Don’t go jumping into new relationships with previous love luggage still attach and then start comparing, its just isn’t right to have your mate go through that kind of hurtfulness. If you can’t let go of the past, then give yourself some time. Everything will pass, sooner or later. Don’t rush, time will heal everything.

2. You’re still single because you have no confidence in yourself and keep waiting.

A lot of time, when we see someone attractive, its normal to think that we simply aren’t worthy enough. It could be because you feel that you don’t look good enough to be with that person or that you haven’t amass a certain amount of money and that kind of anxiety list go on and on. But, seriously there’s no point of waiting as you might let chance pass right by you. Instead, why don’t do you take that first step and see where it leads you, and if you guys are together, let that be your motivation to become a better person for your mate. Be brave! Chances are only given to those who are brave enough to grasp it.

1. You’re still single because no one likes you.

Sadly, this is the truth. Its not a bad thing tho, don’t go jumping off a cliff because you look in the mirror and it broke. Its just means that you haven’t found that special somebody that will be crazy about you. So, don’t go thinking that you’re ugly or unattractive, instead think of yourself as a beautiful monkey.