Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my eye. It’s an old schoolyard oath that it’s basis in reality. Back in the good old days there was a custom to stick a needle in the eye of a corpse to make sure that someone wasn’t still alive before they were buried. You’ve got to admit that if you’ve got a needle stuck in your eye you’re either dead or into extreme body modifications.

If you want to have death eyes or pretty blue spice eyes like in Dune all you have to do is have the whites of your eyes inked. It’s practically mainstream. CSI:NY did an episode on it and two jugheads in prison did their eyes and appeared on MSNBC’s prison show Locked Up. One guy has blue eyes the other guy has red eyes. They’re being disciplined by the prison authorities. I’m not sure for what but being stupid comes to mind.

The MSNBC clip of the two convicts that tattooed their eyeballs

If you’re thinking about running out and getting this done it’s not like getting a Prince Albert. You run the risk of infection, scarring, hemorrhages and well……………..don’t twitch because there’s not a lot of difference between getting into the thin layer of the sclera and popping your eyeball.

Doctors have actually been doing this for quite a long time. It’s about returning the eye to a normal appearance after burning, laceration and other horrible things that happen to eyes. Helen Keller had her eyes removed at the age of thirty for “cosmetic” reasons. You might reasonably think she might have preferred the tattoo to cover the unsightly leucoma. (Currently contact lenses are widely used to cover up such blemishes)

It’s actually a fairly simple procedure aside from the popping danger. The eye is held open with forefinger or thumb and the pigment (drawing ink not tattoo ink is used) is injected under the top layer of the eye. The eye is actually fairly resilient and it can be done with an ordinary needle even if most artists seem to be using a hypodermic. This still feels like a needle is being stuck into your eye even if you use fancy words like corneal stroma. It all heals in about the same time as a normal tattoo. That’s about a week.

Not for the squeamish video of black ink being tattooed on an eyeball.

So if you’re one of the people who actually think this is a cool idea just make sure you find someone who’s practiced on some pig eyes and go for it. Just remember that you’re not going to be the most extreme person around with your death eyes because some people are actually having their eyeballs pierced now.