Battlefield Earth (2000; Roger Christian) – Dare Daniel Podcast Episode 53

“Holy amazing shit, John Travolta.”

Travolt-ember just keeps on Travolt-embering on the Dare Daniel podcast. This week, man-animal rights activist Daniel Barnes and arrogant greener Corky Goodboy McDonnell finally get leverage over you with their review of Battlefield Earth.

John Travolta overacts for the ages as dreadlocked dandy-fop Terl, “the wickedest nine-foot alien you’ve ever seen in your life.” Winner of three Worst Picture Razzies somehow, Battlefield Earth is easily the ugliest and sloppiest film ever released on over 3,300 screens.

Bearing the marks of a movie made to defraud a German production company, Battlefield Earth overdoses on Dutch angles and slow-motion shots. Meanwhile, the film fails to follow basic cinematic guidelines about screen direction and matching eye-lines. However, the film still makes us “as happy as a baby Psychlo on a straight diet of kerbango.” Whatever the hell that means.

Elsewhere, Daniel and Corky discuss learning machines, corporate crapheads, ironic punishments, intergalactic bankers, Fred Dibnah references and gastro-extermination sequences.

NEW DARES

The Time Traveler’s Wife (Coreen Lemcke)

Death to Smoochy (Ben Rice)

BATTLEFIELD EARTH FACTS AND FIGURES

U.S. theatrical release date: May 12, 2000

Domestic box office: $21.5 million (production budget: $75 million)

Critic scores: 3 on Rotten Tomatoes; 9 on Metacritic

This week’s craft beer: Revision Brewing‘s Planetary Fog NE-style DIPA (7.5% ABV)

This week’s darer: Michael Bagamery

Why did Michael dare Daniel and Corky to watch Battlefield Earth? “Battlefield Earth has been a bumper crop for nearly every bad-movie fan out there. Can you find some more unscathed parts of its body’s flesh? Can you torture it even more uniquely?”

IMDB synopsis: “It’s the year 3000 A.D.; the Earth is lost to the alien race of Psychlos. Humanity is enslaved by these gold-thirsty tyrants, whom are unaware that their ‘man-animals’ are about to ignite the rebellion of a lifetime.”

This week’s referenced movies: The Butcher’s Wife; Warcraft; National Treasure; Pulp Fiction; Get Shorty; Michael; Phenomenon; Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace; The Butterfly Effect; The Art of War; The Whole Nine Yards; Best Worst Movie; Moment by Moment; Staying Alive; The Treasure of the Sierra Madre; Cloud Atlas; Revolution; the Fifty Shades of Grey franchise; L4yer Cake; Ultraviolet; Blade Runner; Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas; Two Moon Junction; Spartacus; various King Kong movies; The Dirty Dozen; Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure; Raiders of the Lost Ark; The Fanatic; The Warrior and the Sorceress

Ratings for Battlefield Earth: Daniel – Reverse Dare; Corky – Reverse Dare

RELATED CLIPS

Original theatrical trailer for Battlefield Earth

Psychlo laugh supercut

“Have you blown a head gasket?”

Every “true true” in Cloud Atlas

Blade Runner glass crash scene

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