Washington D.C.—

[BREAKING]

A White House janitor has just shared with The Halfway Post pictures of a vomit mess Vice President Mike Pence left on the White House carpet after reportedly looking up who Stormy Daniels is on the search engine Google.

We have decided against publishing the photo of the vomit in consideration for our readers’ eyes, though we assure you that the carpet was wholly ruined.

“I suppose the Vice President had heard about the Stormy Daniels scandal, and he was curious to see who she was,” explained the janitor, who requested anonymity to share the story. “Boy, was it a big pukey mess. The nausea must have come over Pence very suddenly because he didn’t even close the page to his Internet browser, which had been left on a very graphic video of Ms. Daniels titled ‘rough’ and ‘POV.’ Bless Mr. Pence’s sweet, innocent heart. I heard later that day that Mr. Pence had spent an hour afterwards praying on [Chief of Staff] John Kelly’s office couch, and then he unexpectedly took the rest of the day off after ordering his wife literally 1,000 red roses.”

An office aide to the Vice President also reached out to The Halfway Post, and revealed that Mr. Pence swore to his staff that he would never shake the President’s hand ever again.

(Picture courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

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