In light of yesterday’s events, the EngSoc’s Mental Health Awareness (MHA) directors were moved to write this article. The opinions represented in this article are those of the previous blog director Awn Duqoum, and are not necessarily what the Engineering Society (EngSoc) believes.

What Just Happened? Why Does This Keep Happening?

Since the incident (and quite frankly every time something this tragic happens) many students have said that the university should take a larger role in promoting good mental health and providing more resources to students. While I completely understand that sentiment and believe it myself, I also notice that a lot of the resources the university does provide do remain under utilized. Like many other student leaders, I will continue to advocate for mental health initiatives. However, advocacy can only go so far. I say that because the culture we have at UW (and I admit that I am only part of a small subset of the student population) is that of passiveness; most students don’t get involved and don’t care for student governance. While I can understand that mindset, it makes it very hard to advocate on behalf of a student body which doesn’t tell you what resources are useful and which are not.

Having served as (one of) EngSoc’s MHA directors twice before, with my third term being Spring 2017, and having been an off campus don for 6 terms, and having volunteered as peer supporter with UW MATES, I have had the privilege and the honor of working with a diverse subset of the student population. In these roles I have met many students, each from a different walk of life and academic background. Many times during these last few terms I’ve interacted with students who were, to be as blunt as possible, suicidal.

I tried my very best to be the friend they needed. At times that meant being there for them each and every time they felt weak, or needed a shoulder to lean on. At times that meant being wise enough to realize that I was not enough, and that they needed someone more qualified than I. In these times, I would redirect them to the service/person that could help them best. These suggestions were almost always met with resistance. Every time I would even hint at the idea of getting more help, I was met with fearful glances and withdrawal. I often found myself stuck between wanting to help the student receive the help they deserved and not wanting to lose their trust.

So what do you do in that situation? Well I cannot tell you for sure but I can tell you what has worked for me before:

Offer to go with your friend to counseling/other service

Chances are that they trust you if they are willing to confide in you that they are thinking about ending their own lives. They would also trust you enough to be comfortable with the idea of you sitting in the same room for support when visiting another service. Counseling seems a lot less scary when you have a friendly face in the room

Assure them that this isn’t you trying to make them someone else’s problem

You want to make sure that they know you are only doing what’s best for them, and that they deserve better care than you can offer them

Assure them that this does not mean that your role is over

Asking for more help does not mean that you will no longer be there for them but that someone else is also going to be there alongside the two of you

Remember they are in charge

As much as you think you know that this is what’s best for them, they always hold the right to refuse to go. Not only should you respect that but you should also remind them of it

So where do we go from here ? The bottom line is what happened yesterday happened, there is no changing that. Unfortunate as it is we need to look forward on how we as a society can try our hardest to ensure it doesn’t happen again.

So what does that mean? Well here are some ideas to get started with:

Make a plan for self care

Make sure you have a plan on how you are going to take care of yourself. How are you going to handle stress? Who is your support network? Where can you go when things are not good? Good mental health starts with self care

Encourage your friends to make their own self care plans

Ask your representatives to advocate for more mental health resources

Talk to your society executives, put a motion forward during FEDS GM, talk to your senate representatives, etc. Make people start talking and pushing for change at a university level

Remember that a lot of mental health resources go unused at UW

Many services go under used or even not used at all by students. Find out what UW already has to offer in terms of mental health and use their services. There is a brief list at the end of the article

Normalize Mental Health

At UW, there is still an unreasonable amount of stigma around seeking help. For some reason even though every member of the student body can tell you how important mental health resources are, there is still stigma around you personally getting help. Start those hard conversations and make sure everyone knows that its okay to get help.

Talk about it

Yes, talk about it. No, it’s not pretty. No, it’s not a nice thing to talk about. Yes, it will upset you when talking about it. All of the students are fighting their own battles here, and it means a lot to know that you are not struggling alone. So, talk about it. Make sure everyone around you knows that they are not suffering alone.

On a closing note, I understand the desire to start new MHA initiatives, especially in light of what has happened. I certainly suggest that you explore these passions, but I would ask that you first take a look at existing services, what they provide, and how you can support them. As promised, below is a list of services available to you all. Note that this is not an exhaustive list, but is a list of services I trust and can recommend to you all. If you run a service that was missed, feel free to reach out and tell us more, we’d love to hear about mental health initiatives across campus.

Services Within the University of Waterloo:

Counseling Services (Counseling Services in Needles Hall, Mental Health Services in the 2nd floor of Health Services, and Remote Offices like Engineering Counseling in CPH) * Note that Needles Hall includes drop in counseling on Wednesday and Thursdays, and crisis counseling daily

UW MATES

EngSoc’s de-stress events (weekly)

Your Don (if you have one, or if your don is me)

Services Outside of the University of Waterloo: