'I was told my husband-to-be had 18 months to live': How one woman decided to marry and start a family despite fiance's bleak cancer diagnosis



A woman has revealed how she went through with her wedding and decided to start a family, despite finding out that her husband-to-be only had 18 months to live with brain cancer.

Lea Grover from Chicago, was given the devastating news by doctors just six days after getting engaged to her 24-year-old boyfriend, Mike - who chose not to know his life expectancy.



While he remained in the dark, Mrs Grover pushed through with their big day, and now seven years on and three children later, the couple are still happily married - determined to make it to their 25th anniversary.



In the name of love: Lea Grover went through with her wedding, despite finding out that her husband-to-be, Mike, only had 18 months to live with brain cancer

Mrs Grover states on her blog, Becoming SuperMommy , that it was important to go-ahead with her wedding because she wanted her fiance to see out his 'top priorities' in his final months.

'What would you do with your life if you knew you were supposed to die, soon?' she writes.

'You would do whatever you had wanted to do, but might have been too frightened to.



'You would live as though whatever was most important you was your top priority. And marrying me, well, that was [Mike's] top priority.'

Mrs Grover knew Mike had brain cancer before saying 'I do' but hoped surgery would successfully remove the tumor.



Come to our wedding: Mrs Grover was given the devastating news by doctors just six days after getting engaged to her 24-year-old boyfriend, Mike - who chose not to know his life expectancy

Side effects: During radiation treatment Mike's hair fell out - but by his wedding it had grown back

However, on opening him up, surgeons discovered the mass had developed into stage IV glioblastoma multiforme (GBM), the deadliest form of brain cancers in adults.

Recalling the chain of events, Mrs Grover said: 'I was sitting with his surgeon in a tiny consultation room, listening to phrases like, "stage four multiform glioma," "18 months," and, "You don't often see people five or 10 years out."'

'I never let Mike believe it was hopeless and I refused to acknowledge the possibility of death'

But determined to continue on their path together, Mrs Grover put on a brave face.

'I never let Mike believe it was hopeless and I refused to acknowledge the possibility of death,' she told MailOnline.



She spent nine months planning her nuptials and friends and family pitched in, offering help with things like flower arrangements and centerpieces.

'For the most part, they said nothing. I decided very early on not to consider the possibility that Mike would die. I assumed he would live, and everyone took their cues from me,' Mrs Grover said.

Pushing on: The happy couple spent nine months planning their big day, putting Mike's bleak diagnosis to the back of their minds

The next step: When they returned from honeymoon in New Zealand the Grovers immediately started discussing plans to start a family

'I think a lot of people agreed to do more for our wedding then they might have done if Mike's health wasn't so thoroughly in question, but nobody confronted me about the long term.'

By the time the wedding came around, she said Mike's hair had grown back from radiation and his energy levels were on the way up.

'The mood at the wedding was absolutely jubilant - it was the happiest day of our lives'

He was also undergoing experimental treatments, using arsenic to aid the chemotherapy and radiation, which were showing 'significant results.'



'The mood at the wedding was absolutely jubilant . . .it was the happiest day of our lives,' Mrs Grover said.

Mike's health gradually improved and, although he wasn't given the all-clear, Mrs Grover said that they embraced the attitude that they'd won.

When they returned from honeymoon in New Zealand they immediately started discussing plans to start a family.

Proud parents: The Grovers successfully conceived via IVF and welcomed twin girls

Then there were three: 22 months after the birth of their twin daughters the Grovers fell pregnant again

'I had always known I wanted to be a mom. There was never any doubt in my mind. [Mike] had always known he wanted to be a dad, it was a sure thing.

'We decided to get pregnant, because not knowing how long he had didn't mean he had no time at all.'

'We decided to get pregnant, because not knowing how long Mike had didn't mean he had no time at all'

Because Mike was on chemotherapy, the couple were advised to conceive through IVF.



During his last round of treatment, Mrs Grover discovered that she was pregnant with twin girls.

And about 22 months after giving birth she and Mike decided to try for another child the natural way. They welcomed another girl to the family.

Mrs Grover, now 29, and a mother-of-three, says that her brood give her great joy and give life meaning.

She adds that Mike, who celebrated his 31st birthday this August despite his bleak diagnosis, is also a natural dad.



Happy family: Today the Grovers live each day to the maximum - they say the whole experience has taught them how 'fragile and temporary life is'

Mrs Grover says that although his tumor has reduced, with his type of cancer nobody talks about remission, only 'stability'.

'It appears from imaging scans that the tumors have died, or shrunk. [But] it could come back - his oncologist believes it will eventually - but there is no longer any sort of time table.

'Essentially, we're stuck in a life-long waiting game.'

She says the whole experience has taught her how 'fragile and temporary life is.'

'I've been forced to step back and look at what is most important in life- happiness, love, self fulfillment.