CLERK: What seems to be the problem with your cell phone?

HOBO: Every time I click to download an app, the thing overheats and burns the palm of my hand.



CLERK: One of our phones wouldn't do that. Are you sure you're using it correctly?

HOBO: Apparently not, unless scalding is a feature.



CLERK: Sir, this is a smartphone. You have to be at least as smart as it to use it.

HOBO: Does the same go for evil?



