A CERTAIN orange man with small hands likes to proclaim everything as ‘fake news’ nowadays.

But the footy media can’t be blamed for getting this one wrong.

It appeared that there was a major food issue down in Geelong - well, a new one - when Tom Stewart told reporters on Monday morning that he was being sent home due to food poisoning.

“Gastro, food poisoning ... one or the other, so hope I’ll be right,” Stewart said as he exited Simonds Stadium.

Round 18

“I think it’s just us two at the moment … bit of quarantine.”

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It was believable enough, given that Tom Lonergan missed the semi-final win over Sydney with the same issue.

But it turns out it was all just a joke.

Stewart was just going to get a coffee and is fine - apart from his hamstring strain - having trained on Monday, with Channel 7’s Mark Stevens suggesting that the gag left “insiders at (the) Cattery scratching (their) heads”.

Stewart took to social media late on Monday to set the record straight.

“I wasn’t feeling great yesterday and I accidentally mixed up my words when speaking to the media today,” Stewart wrote.

“A complete accident on my part and I take full responsibility for the mishap.

“Just wanted to clear the air and make sure that everyone is informed. Clearly need some more media training.”

Coach Chris Scott shed further light on the issue on Fox Footy on Monday night.

“I can clear it up very quickly,” Scott told AFL 360.

“He had a bit of gastro yesterday and the doctors, at this time of year in particular, get paranoid when anyone has got a sniffle and they get removed from the playing group very quickly.

“That happened yesterday and then he was in today. In a pretty raw and honest moment he got doorstopped and he said ‘I’ve been a bit crook and I’ve been quarantined’ which was absolutely true.

“Maybe it was a little bit of a misunderstanding, but he’s fine.”

Perhaps Stewart just needs to work on his delivery. And we don’t mean his kicking.

Also because this is a classy column we definitely won’t write “fake news? More like fake poos”.

FINALLY, AN EXCITING FINAL

THE AFL finals haven’t been great this year.

We’ve had five blowout margins - and, to be fair, pretty much the closest final mathematically possible when West Coast beat Port Adelaide in extra time after the siren - leaving some fans frustrated following a very close home and away season.

But perhaps we should have all been tuning in to the AFL Yarra Ranges Division 2 grand final. That had plenty of drama.

Belgrave trailed Yarra Glen by 11 goals in the second quarter before storming home to win by 28 points, in what was merely a 94-point turnaround.

Belgrave coach Richard Brown told the Lilydale & Yarra Valley Leader it was “the most incredible game I’ve ever been involved with” - no, really? - and that he “never believed they couldn’t get back”.

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WELL, AT LEAST SHE MADE IT THERE

IT may have been a sign from the skies - where they shake all of that thunder down from - on Thursday in Sydney.

Huge cross-winds grounded 100 flights at Sydney Airport as many Swans fans were attempting to make the trip down to the MCG to see their team’s semi-final against Geelong.

Diehard Swans fan Julie Burgess was so desperate to see the game that after arriving at the airport to see her flight was cancelled, she made other plans, reports Fairfax Media.

She booked another flight, this one from Newcastle - 163 kilometres north of Sydney - heading home for the night and then on Friday morning taking a ferry, train and bus to make it.

And all of that to see the Swans’ big loss to the Cats. Ouch.

Surely the Swans could at least send her a free badge for that?

*PINCHES CHEEKS*

IT’S like a Brownlow is the footy version of a 21st birthday - when you win, or when you’re about to win one, out come the young photos.

So with Dustin Martin expected to take home the award next Monday, here they are.

St Kilda legend Nicky Winmar pictured with 2017 Brownlow medalist Dustin Martin. pic.twitter.com/hZseEiua0f — Nick Quinn (@Quinny_1) September 18, 2017

As an under-18s player. Source: News Limited

Getting swole. Source: News Limited