Looking for a soft packer or a realistic dildo for sex play and want to know more about what they're made of? This article offers some pros and cons about different toy materials, with a special eye toward the product needs of trans guys.

When searching for the right soft packer, or for an erect dick for sexual play, there are a lot of variables to consider before making a purchase. What size should I get? Can I find a dick to match my skin tone? How much money do I want to spend? What might my partner enjoy? Can I pack this thing comfortably if I want to do so? How realistic does it look? How does it feel to the touch?



Maybe you found a dick that satisfies the appearance, feeling, and size you are going for, as well as your budget. There is one more question you might want to ask before pulling the trigger. Is the dick I choose going to make me or my partner sick?



This might not be the first thought to jump into your head when shopping for a prosthetic—or any other item you might use sexually—but it is a topic to consider seriously.

The Truth About Sex Toy Labeling

The sex toy industry is unregulated, meaning that there are no rules as to what types of chemicals might be used in the production of "adult novelty" items like dildos. Chemicals like phthalates* (softeners used to make plastics flexible), heavy metals used in pigments, and toxic filler ingredients that can leech as the toy degrades—these substances abound in the world of sex toys... especially in the world of cheap items. Because there is no regulation around these items, companies are not required to disclose what chemicals might be lurking in their products. In fact, some disreputable companies will intentionally mislabel products in order to make them seem safer or more appealing to consumers.



It gets even more complicated when there is misunderstanding about toy materials being passed along by those who mean well, but simply don't yet have a handle on the terminology. For example, on more than one occasion, I have seen trans guys mislabel packer materials on their web sites and blogs. Everyone means well in those situations, but telling readers that a Sailor soft packer is made out of silicone (which it is not... but more on materials later) only adds to the confusion.



So, what is a trans guy to do to keep himself and his partner(s) safe from potentially toxic toy materials?



The best thing to do is to educate yourself about the packer and erect prosthetic materials available on the market today, and make your product choices with an eye toward the pros and cons of each material.



When starting your overall research about toy materials, look to reputable, knowledgeable voices within the adult industry who have been strong advocates for toy safety. The Coalition Against Toxic Toys (CATT, online at badvibes.org) is a great place to start, as they list a number of partner organizations that are committed to educating about the materials used in sex toys. The Progressive Pleasure Club (PPC, online at progressivepleasureclub.com) is a network of independent brick and mortar sex shops dedicated to helping people make informed decisions about sexuality products. And a few retail stores, like The Tool Shed (toolshedtoys.com), educate about sexual health and toxic toys while also offering unique and deep knowledge of the available products for trans men (The Tool Shed is also a member of both CATT and the PPC).



You may also want to do a little research about reputable manufacturers in the industry. Stores like the Tool Shed (and other PPC stores) will typically seek out products from manufacturers committed to quality. Again, because the industry is unregulated, it is impossible to verify the claims of every product on the market, but certain companies have made a serious effort to put material safety at the top of their priority list.

Silicone or Not? The Pros and Cons

There are a lot of different material formulations on the market today, and some are better suited for certain kinds of products than others.



Most guys have heard the term "silicone" tossed around a lot, especially when talking about professionally-made prosthetics, or higher-end, quality products by companies such as Vixen Creations (makers of VixSkin silicone), Happy Valley/Fuze, Number One Labs, New York Toy Collective, or Tantus. In many ways, silicone is an ideal material for making flexible-yet-firm sex toys like erect dicks. Silicone is very chemically stable (meaning it doesn't degrade and release toxins into your or your partner's body during normal use), it is non-porous (meaning it doesn't have pores big enough to harbor most sexually transmitted bacteria), and it is incredibly easy to clean—you can even boil silicone to sanitize it, making it a great option for those with more than one partner.



Silicone can also be cast in different formulations to give different levels of softness and flexibility. The "durometer" of silicone is a measure of how hard it is, and silicone can be created with a very skin-like feel.



Silicone, being very stable, does not degrade, bloat, or "sweat" like some other materials. If taken care of properly, a silicone dick can last a lifetime. Silicone's two main enemies are silicone-based lubricant (which can mar the surface of a silicone toy), and tearing—a small nick in a silicone dick from a zipper, or from too much friction against a rough seam, can cause a big tear down the road.



So why not make everything in silicone, you might wonder? After all, who doesn't want a non-toxic, easy-to-clean dick with a life-like feel?



Well, one drawback of silicone is that it can get a little pricey, especially when producing very realistic feeling, softer creations. The process of making something like squishy, moveable testicles that feel different from a firm shaft, for example, might involve a multi-step silicone production process, expensive material blends, and a lot of labor. Color detailing on silicone dicks (adding subtle shading on the head and veins, for example) is also a labor-intensive process, which can raise costs.



Silicone is also a dense material by its nature. Even when formulated into a very skin-like durometer, a dick made from a solid, single-cast silicone doesn't always have quite the same "squeezability" and lightness as some of the cheaper materials used in, say, cheaper soft packers.



Indeed, that is one reason why soft packers are often made out of non-silicone materials, like elastomers, rubbers, or polymer/oil blends. (Note: I'm using the term "non-silicone" here as a catch-all term to refer to a wide variety of different materials other than silicone that are used to create soft, skin-like items like soft packers and dildos.) These kind of products will often have trade names like "soft skin" or "sil-a-gel," etc. Such materials tend to be very soft and flexible, which is why they can feel quite realistic as a flaccid penis or testes, in the case of soft packers.



As a general rule, non-silicone soft packers and dildos are less expensive than their silicone counterparts, which can be great for a trans person on a budget. It can also be easier/cheaper to add color detailing to certain non-silicone materials, which means that you can find very realistic looking non-silicone dicks (with painted veins and head shading) for much lower prices than a hand-painted silicone proosthetic.



Soft packers and erect dicks made from non-silicone materials do have their draw-backs, however. They are typically porous items, meaning that their surface will harbor bacteria and dirt from the second you take them out of the wrapper. There is absolutely no way of sanitizing porous soft packers or a cyberskin-type dicks! If used for sex play, non-silicone dicks should always be covered with a condom to protect your partner from itching, burning, and potential issues like urinary tract infections (or STIs if you happen to use your dick with multiple partners).



Depending on the company who makes the product, there may be chemicals such as phthalates* that could leech from the dick onto your or your partner's skin, causing potential irritation or other health issues. While wrapping the dick in a condom might help, that action may not be fully sufficient to protect against chemical leeching.



Soft, non-silicone materials will also get dirty and wear out more quickly. Depending on the chemical makeup, they may shrink, become misshapen, or begin to devolve into a gooey mess over time. Bear in mind, especially with dicks used for sexual penetration, that if a toy is oozing or otherwise deteriorating, the chemicals in that toy are most likely leeching directly into the body of the person on the receiving end of that toy.

Make an Informed Choice

As you can see, there are pros and cons to different materials, but only you can decide which is right for your situation. The best you can do is arm yourself with as much knowledge as possible, and then make your choice based on your specific needs and limitations.



For example, you might decide that you want to choose a 100% silicone dick for sexual play, knowing it will be easy to keep clean and won't give the unwanted gift of mystery chemicals to your partner! But you might also decide that an inexpensive, phthalate-free elastomer soft packer will work for your everyday packing or STP needs, knowing that you can keep the packer in a jock or pocket-style harness so that it doesn't irritate your skin. Every individual's needs and concerns are different, so the "right" or "best" solution for one person may differ from another's choice.

The Future Looks Bright

Fortunately for us, there has been an increase in affordable, body-safe, realistic erect silicone dick options over the last 5 years. A few quality-oriented companies have stepped up to produce an array of sizes and skin color choices. A number of artisans are also producing incredibly realistic, high-end, medical-grade prosthetics. And stand-to-pee packers have seen serious leaps forward, with some truly innovative designs (and improvements on old designs) that have been released in the last few years.



At the same time, there has been a growing movement toward education around sex toy materials in general, and many companies are beginning to take the issue of toy safety more seriously.



Obviously, we have a way to go on both fronts—we need innovative product designs with an eye toward consumer safety and environmental sustainability. Hopefully, by continuing to ask the right questions and push for better options, the industry—and our options as trans men—will continue to change for the better.



NOTES:

* Phthalates are chemical softeners that have been linked in some studies to endocrine disruption and cancer.

A previous version of this article was published in FTM Magazine's NSFW issue.

Check out the upcoming class:

All About the Package:

Soft Packing and Prosthetics for Trans Guys and Non-binary Folks

Wednesday, August 9, 8:30pm

At The Tool Shed, 2427 N Murray Ave, Milwaukee, WI 53211



So you're a trans guy or non-binary identified person, and you want to know some of the finer points about soft packers and erect penis prosthetics. Which packer is the most realistic? How do I use a STP (stand-to-pee) packer? What about harnesses, special underwear, or medical adhesive? What materials should I look for? Is there a packer that matches my skin tone? What are my options for sexual play?



This class will discuss (and show!) many currently available packing and prosthetic products, DIY solutions for packing and STP devices, and realistic sexual prosthetics and harnesses. We'll talk about the pros and cons of various packer materials, and what to look for when balancing cost and performance. We'll also cover some practical tips to make everyday packer and prosthetic use more comfortable and effective, such how to pack while swimming and exercising, STP use in restrooms, packing in locker rooms, and more.

Bring your packing/prosthetic questions, beginning or advanced!

This is a FREE event. Pre-registration is not necessary.

Matt Button is a Tool Shed staffer and a trans man who has researched products for trans men for more than 15 years.