Jerry From Cheer Mat-Talks You Through the Coronavirus Outbreak

Yes! Sanitize those hands, girl! Come on, Jane! PUSH!

Push that shopping cart down the canned food aisle! Pick it up!

Pick up that can! Pick up some more! Panic buy!!

Girl, I see you buying but are you panicking?! PANIC MORE!!

PANIC HARDER!!! You can do it!!

GO OFF, SIS!!

Off the deep end! Call in sick to work! Cancel plans with friends! Look at infographic maps!

DO! NOT! LEAVE! THE! HOUSE!

You got this!

Read the news! Believe it!! ANTIVIRAL!! 3.4%!!! INTIMIDATING MEDICAL TERMS!! SCARY NUMBERS!!! Girl, believe!!!

PUSH!!

Push away all human contact! Better safe than sorry! YAS!!! Let everyone else die of viruses, you’re gonna WIN!

LIVE!! GET YOUR LIFE, KWEEN!!

Like, literally, make sure that you live!

Death is scary! You’re not old or diabetic but you never know!!

Sucks to be sick!!! And the unknown is terrifying!!! YES!!!

Girl, this looks like clapping but I’m actually sanitizing my hands! I’m furiously banging them together to AGGRESSIVELY! SPREAD! THE! PURELL! YES!!!

PUSH!

Push those buttons! Text everyone you know! Tell them to wear masks! Gloves! Don’t touch anything!

Cut off your hands! Just in case! It’s not worth the risk! PUSH!!! COMMIT!!! Go in!!!

Seriously, go inside! Stay there! Self-quarantine!!! Stunning!!!

Hold! Hold it!

Hold your breath!! Keep holding!! It’s not safe to breathe!! There are 148 confirmed cases!! Nothing is safe!

Except for complex aerial gymnastics! GIRL, FLIP!!!

Flip out!!! Move to the forest!! Grow your own food!

WERQ!!!

Werq out how to build an off-grid tiny house out of found rocks and papers from your former life!!!

Fuck civilization, let it succumb and crumble! It was kind of going that way anyway, right?!

You eat bark now and the leaves are your friends! No viruses here!!! Girl, YAS!!!