I’m a man who grew up with two brothers and no sisters. My best friend in elementary school was male, same thing in high school. My idol growing up was Mario Lemieux–he also identifies as a man. This is my way of saying that I don’t know what to get my daughters for International Women’s Day.

My decision is made a little easier by the fact that I have no money. Even if I did, I don’t think I’d want to buy them jewelry or chocolate or flowers or anything else I’ve learned from Valentine’s commercials that “women like.” So it’s words that they’re going to get. Not words in an already written book, words written by a man with no idea what it’s actually like to live even one minute as a woman. Should that stop me from trying? Probably. But that’s why I’m starting my tips with 1. Your dad will be wrong more than once. He may even be wrong more than he is right but he’s doing his best to help you grow into a caring, intelligent, responsible, independent and loving woman. I’ll tell you right now that I don’t know exactly what that entails–I have no roadmap, but I’m trying my hardest.

From there I’m going to get a little more serious and say that 2. I hope you find a woman you love, either as a friend or as a partner to help you out of (and probably get you into) tough times. Your mom and I will support you in whatever you do, but a lifelong companion, whether you end up talking to them about your loved ones or whether they become that loved one, isn’t something we can be.

Something else I’ve always wanted to tell you since you already know you can grow up to be whatever you want is that 3. It’s important for you to realize other women (and men for that matter) are allowed to be whatever they want to be too. We tell you all the time that others should be accepting of you but it’s equally important for you to be accepting of others. You won’t always agree with people all the time, and that’s ok, but you need to respect their right to think.

4. Unless what they think is filled with hate. Then I hope you have more courage than me and feel better prepared to challenge people for their hateful view. Stick up for the marginalized and let people in power know that people like you won’t allow hatred to go unopposed. I could shorten this to read “be like your mom and your grandma.”

But please, from time to time still 5. Act as daddy’s little girl. Let me hold your hand or brush your hair or read you a story when you’re 30. I know as you continue to grow into a strong woman I’ll look less like the man who gives you piggy back rides and more like the guy you bring your family to see at the holidays. But from time to time, I’d be grateful if you could, as they say, “respect your elders” and humour me with remembering the times we’re having right now. The times when I can stick my head into your bedroom and give you a kiss on the forehead, the times when I can fix a problem with a bandaid. Most importantly, the times where we can finish so many of our conversations with I love you.

That’s it from me, I hope you enjoy your gift. Now 6. Get back to being who you are.