These days you'll find her on Bravo's Real Housewives of New York, but Tinsley Mortimer is very much a southern gal at heart—which is why we decided she'd be the perfect person to school us on the art of southern expressions.

It’s true that we routinely speak in similes, metaphors, and hyperbole, which are sometimes difficult to understand, but I’m going to try to clear up some of this nonsense. While everyone knows what y’all means (Southerners are not taught that “you” can be plural), there are other expressions and idiosyncrasies that our northern, mid-western, and western friends might find difficult to fully understand. Here are a few I’d like to share

Bless her heart!

Uh oh. When a Southerner hears this expression, she knows what’s coming next…and it’s not going to be nice.

“Bless her heart,” Susan is dumber than a box of rocks. Truth be told, nothing is more bitchy than “Bless her heart.” It’s our way of excusing what’s going to come out of our sassy Southern mouths.

Ma’am and Sir.

Not only Southern children—but adults as well—use the preface ma’am or sir when speaking to someone older or in authority. We really aren’t trying to be obsequious. Yes ma’am. No sir. I can’t tell you the number of teachers and professors I had at Lawrenceville or Columbia who corrected me on this usage. They thought I was being impertinent when it was simply an automatic response.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder.



Every Southern girl in the history of the universe has been told this by her mother and grandmothers when she first starts to date and is having “relationship issues.” In other words, make yourself scarce ‘cause they’ll miss you.



Jiminy Christmas.

I use this all the time. It’s a Southern way of cursing politely and not taking the Lord’s name in vain (Jesus Christ!)

Ugly.

When a Southerner says, “She’s ugly" or "that’s ugly" they are not talking about someone’s looks. They’re commenting on what’s inside that person or how they’re behaving. It’s bad.

You can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

This was a chapter in my book Southern Charm. My grandmothers said it every time my sister or I would be “ugly.”

The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

Many of us are taught to be ladies and keep our opinions to ourselves. But you can be completely railroaded if you don't make your point known by giving your opinion and speaking up. Whenever I did this as a child, I was never told to shut up—though I may have been told to “hush your mouth.”

Hush your mouth.

Stop talking. Be quiet!



Officer vs. Cop.

Though it's been said that "cop" is a perfectly proper acronym for Constable On Patrol, Southerners are taught to use "Officer" when addressing the police. Yes sir, Officer. (Believe me, I know this!)

Cousin.

We’re proud, very proud of our family, as long as they make us proud. It doesn’t matter if someone is your fourth cousin once removed, he is Cousin Jimmy and called that always. However, if a relative has not made you proud—and this can be even a brother or sister—we say politely, “We’re not that close.”

Hissy fit.

If someone has a “hissy fit,” they have totally lost control of their temper and may have a break down.

Goodness Gracious!

This is an expression used instead of Good God (remember we don’t take the Lord’s name in vain.) Goodness Gracious, Gosh….an exclamation of surprise or anger.

Three sheets to the wind.

Southerners pride themselves on being polite. This is why we always use euphemisms to express ourselves. We would never say someone was drunk. Instead, we say they are three sheets to the wind. Don’t ask me what it means.

Plumb.

I’ve never known the origins of this, but plumb means totally, absolutely. She was “plumb” tired out, or plumb tuckered out.

Highfalutin’.

A pejorative term in the South. “She thinks she’s so highfalutin’.” If you hear this from a Southerner, know that it’s a huge cut on someone who thinks she is—or is trying to be—extremely fancy.

Heavens to Betsey.



I have absolutely no idea about the origins of this phrase, but we used it all the time in my house growing up. It means “my goodness.”



Uppity.

If someone is being “uppity," they are acting “too big for their britches.”



Too big for their britches.

Someone’s being uppity, thinking they’re really swell. It implies that you’re so full of yourself you can’t fit into your pants (britches).



Come here and give me some sugar.

This means "be sweet and come over and give me some of that sweetness"—a kiss. I should also note that we rarely use “r’s.” Sugah for sugar, suppah for supper. We also don’t pronounce “t’s” and almost never use “g’s” at the ending of words. Southerners say Adlanna for Atlanta. We also say puddin’ and lookin’. She’s a good lookin’ girl!

Tinsley Mortimer Contributor Tinsley Mortimer grew up in Virginia and married her boarding-school sweetheart, Topper Mortimer.

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