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White House press secretary Sarah “Suckabee” Sanders, a.k.a. Satan’s favorite kitten heel, said Thursday that President Trump didn’t plan his abrupt departure from a meeting with congressional leaders and he just happened to have a cardboard cutout with figures pasted to a podium for his impromptu speech in the Rose Garden.




Sanders claimed that Trump “absolutely” intended to stay for the White House meeting about infrastructure, which is what “yesterday was supposed to be about,” Sanders said on CNN’s New Day, t he Hill reports.



“That was what yesterday was supposed to be about until Nancy Pelosi had a closed-door meeting to talk about the impeachment of the president, which is ludicrous on so many fronts,” Sanders said.


Trump’s speech was a response to House Speaker Pelosi’s (D-Calif.) claim that Trump “engaged in a cover-up,” which she stated minutes before heading to the White House.

But the president’s speech in the Rose Garden, which included a podium and a printed placard that read “No Collusion No Obstruction” and included statistics attacking special counsel Robert Mueller’s probe, was all set up and ready to go when he walked out of the meeting. Is a podium just always chilling in the Rose Garden? Does Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) carry the podium around on his back for whenever the president wants to make a speech? Do they just have placards at the ready whenever the president wants to add a little flair to his podium game? According to Sanders, yes.

“The placard had been printed weeks ago,” Sanders said on Thursday morning, “so it’s not like this was some new talking point or some new moment. That’s something we’ve been talking about since the end of the Mueller report,” she said.



A White House official told t he Hill on Wednesday that there was no plan to ambush Democrats and that the “catalyst” for Trump’s walkout was Pelosi’s comments.


I guess Vice President Mike Pence’s NFL game walkout over athlete s’ kneeling protest was also impromptu?

Sanders added that Democrats need to get over themselves and stop sulking because Mueller’s report didn’t give them what they wanted.


“They don’t get to do a do-over because they didn’t like the outcome,” Sanders said. “That’s like me telling my kids, ‘I’m sorry you didn’t win your soccer game, but that’s OK, we’ll just play it over.’ That’s not how life works.”



Sanders then bit the head off a live bat and drew the bat’s blood across her cheeks.