In Mississippi an abused spouse must remain in a violent marriage, according to the state legislature.

A bill that would have made domestic abuse grounds for divorce died in the state senate last week. And the decision shocked victims’ rights advocates around the state.

“We have an epidemic here,” said Lorine Cady, founder of the House of Grace, a center for victims in Southaven. “I think domestic abuse should be at the very top of the list of reasons for divorce.”

It’s a decision that will affect thousands of spouses across the state, both men and women. One in three women, and one in four men, have been abused by partners in the state, according to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence. Those figures are for physical abuse alone, and do not include mental and emotional abuse.

Senator Sally Doty, a Republican who represents three counties in the southern half of the state, proposed the bill in February. It drew some questions at first – must the abuse be documented for divorce? Or should it be granted base on one party’s word? Should it require arrest? But the bill appeared on track to become a law, as it moved from the senate judiciary committee and into the house.

The house passed the bill, but legislators added a clause to the proposal: A divorce could also be granted after a two-year separation.

Then the bill died in the senate.

“That additional grounds is actually what ended up killing the bill,” Doty told local television station WMC5. “I think certainly all of my colleagues in the senate understand the seriousness of domestic violence.”

There are 12 other grounds for divorce already on the books in Mississippi, including impotence and habitual drunkenness. But the clause including two years of separation went too far for the legislators. “I think people here tend to lean on the bible in their decision-making about divorce,” said Cady, the women’s shelter founder. “They’re not considering what it says about helping women.”

The Bible includes abandonment among the reasons for legitimate divorce. So, Cady said, by rejecting the two-year clause, the Mississippi senate seems to be reaching for stricter limitations than the bible itself.

“It wouldn’t be the first time,” Cady said with a wry laugh. “I will pray for them.”

Abused spouses sometimes try to use one of the current legal grounds – “habitual cruel and inhuman treatment” – to win divorce, but its requirements are difficult to meet. The victim must prove not only that the treatment is inhuman, but that it occurs habitually. “People want to be honest in court,” Cady said. “They want to cite the true grounds: domestic abuse.”

Doty has said she plans to reintroduce the bill in the legislature’s next session, with stricter constraints on what can be added to it.

In the meantime, Cady said, women – and some men – will continue to live in abusive marriages, waiting for the law to offer them an escape. “It’s so painful but yes, that will happen,” she said. “I see it all the time.”

