Amongst Amekaji enthusiasts and other fans of high-quality footwear, there is an insidious epithet that strikes fear into the hearts of all who hear it, a phrase that can cause one’s entire stylistic worldview to tremble and perhaps, even, collapse:

“Those look like clown shoes, man.”

This phrase is so powerful because it is destructive when wielded by experienced footwear aficionado and mouth-breathing outsider alike. To have one’s fancy boots and their associated time, money, and miles reduced to a cartoonish caricature is something resembling a grave offense.

But what is the real basis for this? Are the common accusations of clown-shoeishness based in fact, or epithet? Today, we shall explore this phenomenon.

First we must address the elephant in the room. The most common offender is the popular Red Wing Iron Ranger. It is frequently accused of having a “bulbous toe”, amongst other egregious fashion sins. Is this really the case?

I have a pair of 8112 Iron Rangers that I have worn for over eight years, and don’t think anything about these boots resembles a “clown shoe.” To my eyes they look well-proportioned (and have aged quite nicely.) I should note that when I bought these boots back in 2011, the Americana tidal wave had not yet hit, and the boots were pretty obscure. Red Wing was starting to get attention in Europe, but I became aware of them from living in Japan, and bought my pair there. This was years before it was a hot men’s style trend on occidental Instagram.

Two factors lead to the Iron Ranger “clown shoe” accusation: Fit and size. I believe that many people on Instagram, etc. size these boots poorly.

I wear a 11.5 in most athletic sneakers, but sized down to a 10 in my Iron Rangers. They are extremely comfortable and fit the best of all my shoes. I have narrow and low profile feet so that could play some part, but there’s not much excess toe space. Meanwhile, many Iron Ranger wearers clearly have a massive volume of extra space in the toe. This does not look very good, and is probably much more to blame for the “clown shoe” reputation than any other factor.

In general, the smaller sizes of Iron Rangers just look more proportional than bigger sizes. In my opinion, the boot’s proportions just don’t scale up all that well. But in about 10.5 or smaller, the boots look nice, and there’s not too much toe going on. If you try Iron Rangers and they don’t fit comfortable without needing to size up to a voluminous toe, you’re probably better off choosing a different style of boot.

Another reason I don’t think the “clown shoe” reputation is deserved is because a clown shoe is a very low profile piece of footwear that shows off a ton of ankle. The Iron Ranger is a pretty standard boot height, and this alone almost eliminates any real clown factor.

So while there is some reason, in some circumstances, for the Iron Ranger to have a trace of clown shoe character, I think it’s largely overstated. Even the examples I showed above don’t look that bad in isolation.

But the effect has more causes than the boot alone; the affect is exacerbated by your pants. In general, the smaller the leg of your pants, the more potential there is for a clown shoe effect. The clown shoe factor of any given pair of boots can be nearly neutralized simply by wearing a wider hem. My Iron Rangers look great with my Flat Head 3005 (8.75″ hem) or Samurai S710xx (7.5″ hem). As pictured with my 3Sixteen chinos, the hem is about 7.25″. However, if I wore an ultra-tapered pair with a 6.75″ hem, it would probably look silly. So choose the appropriate pants for your boots!

This becomes even more important, again, depending on your size. If you have a large foot (probably a Brannock size 12 or up), a very slim pair of jeans is going to accentuate that. The bigger your foot, the better a wide hem will look. The opposite holds true as well.

In conclusion, a few basic principles will help you elude the clown shoe effect:

Wear pants with a hem proportional to your foot size

Make sure a pair of shoes looks good on your feet, in your size

Avoid shoes with a low height and large toe

Don’t take it personally when people on the internet tell you dumb stuff.

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