











"McCloskey, married for 30 years, the father of two, and an economics and history professor, was a secret crossdresser for 41 years, as 'Jane.' At 52, he realized that his real identity was as a woman and began transitioning as 'Dee' to become 'Deirdre.' At the heart of this fascinating and poignant story, told in the third person, are the two years (one in Holland) of hormones, multiple surgeries, electrolysis, and a legal name change, all part of the physical and emotional 'crossing' from male to female. The big-boned Deirdre describes the joy of 'passing,' the fear of being 'read,' and the occasional loving support she has received in contrast to painful estrangement from family, friends, and colleagues. . . . Revealing, humorous, and provocative."Library Journal "A searing tale of the traumas and rewards of gender change. . . . A powerful indictment of legal, medical, and institutional obstruction."ForeWord

Crossing is not only about the physical change from male to female, but also about the cultural difference it can represent. For those who have come of age in an era impatient with gender stereotypes, this may be the most provocative part of the book. Are men and women really different? Belowfrom one who has been botha summary of the differences.

Deirdre's List of Differences She catches falling objects quicker.

She is more easily startled by loud noises or sudden movements.

She cries.

She sweats less.

She sleeps more and she sleeps better.

She stutters less. Or so people tell her.

She loses weight less easily.

She chooses clothing with an eye, imagining outfits from her closet or the store rack, and can judge instantly when trying them on whether they work.

Her color memory and color vocabulary are a little better.

She works at remembering what people wear.

She remembers neighborhoods better, without effort, and in driving she starts to navigate by landmark and feel rather than by direction and map.

She likes cooking.

She listens intently to stories people tell of their lives, and craves detail.

She is willing to listen to painful stories of sickness and personal catastrophe.

She is more alert to relational details in stories: Ah, I see, she's his cousin by marriage. She finds herself remembering the family trees, the ex-boyfriends, the big events.

She has gotten no more skillful at telling stories.

She is worse at telling jokes.

She is less single-minded.

She is therefore less one-tasked.

She is less impatient.

She drives more slowly and less aggressively.

She can't remain angry for long.

She feels duty bound to wash the dishes.

She loves, just loves, the little favors of womankind, getting a card for someone, making meatloaf for Charles up the street, helping someone through a day of his life.

People treat her more kindly. A woman is less threatening and gets smiled at more.

On the other hand, she is treated more casually. Clerks and bureaucrats do not expect trouble from a woman. They are not on guard.

She assumes a less confident mask for dealings with salespeople and auto mechanics.

She has stopped paying attention to guy thingssuch as cars and sports and war stories.

She is uninterested in sports and finds the sports pages pointless.

She no longer thinks of social life as strict exchange.

She dotes on every child she meets.

She reads women novelists, for years only women novelists.

women novelists. She takes the woman's side.

She is religious.

She is neater, her cleaning lady notes, and Deirdre herself notices her determination to make the bed as soon as she gets out of it.

She has more friends.

She looks on men as sexually interesting and emotionally stupid.

She thinks less about sex.

She cares about love.

She gets as much pleasure from loving as from being loved.

She cares about relationships and devotes sustained thought to them. ("Deirdre's List of Differences" is adapted from Chapter 45, "Differences")



Posing as the opposite gender is easy in cyberspace, right? Joshua Berman and Amy Bruckman at Georgia Tech are putting this assumption to the test in the Turing Game. If you participate, you might wind up in Joshua's dissertation.