There’s been a growing movement of women marrying their best friends over the last few decades. But one brave woman is bucking the trend!

“I have plenty of friends,” says 29-year-old Michelle Lewis. “What I don’t have is a guy with a massive schlong just hanging around in case I get horny.”

Her friends are supportive of her decision.

“I think what Michelle has chosen to do is so brave,” said bridesmaid Emily Lerner. “It seems like everyone I know is marrying their best friend, but Michelle is blazing her own path. What she’s found with Robert and his big, big penis is refreshing. She showed me a picture of it once.”

Applauded for her choice, Lewis is quick to add that she has nothing against marrying your best friend.

“I’ve known my best friend since we were in the second grade. She’s the funniest person I know. But she just doesn’t have the colossal honkin’ ding dong that I’m looking for in a life partner.”

While most women meet their husbands by making eye contact across a crowded room and just knowing instantly that he’s the one, Michelle’s first encounter with her husband was a little different.

“I’ll never forget the first time I saw him,” she said. “It was at Howard Johnson’s. I was admiring his forearms and butt and then I caught sight of that gigantic bulge in his pants. That’s when I looked into his kind eyes and thought, “I’m gonna fuck this guy.”

“And now I might get to fuck his big dick for the rest of my life.”

Of course, the most important gift a young married couple can get is the love and support of their family, which Lewis and her husband have in spades.

“I obviously married my best friend, but Robert is a wonderful young man,” says Lewis’s mother Diane. “He really does have a noticeably large penis though.”