OAKLAND, CA—Claiming that unconstrained advances in meat-sauce application was as far beyond human calculation as its potential to harm future generations, KC Masterpiece CEO Benno Dorer warned Monday against society’s increasing reliance on A1. “When applied correctly—and, crucially, in judicious amounts—it’s true that A1 can improve our lives, but we are a increasing risk of becoming wholly dependent on it,” said Dorer, noting that most Americans bring A1 into their homes without considering whether the benefits of the tangy, tomato-based condiment outweigh the costs. “This isn’t some science fiction fantasy. This is reality. A1 is already here, and we’re just handing over our flavor autonomy to this sauce even when we don’t fully understand it. At least with KC Masterpiece, the sweet heat you feel is real. Ask yourself—can you handle our new Wildflower Honey Habeñero?” Dorer further urged Americans to examine how A1 affects their lives and honestly try to imagine a life without it.

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