AUTHOR'S NOTE: Sorry for taking over a week to make this next chapter. It kinda forgot about it for a few days, then when I remembered I didn't want to rush it in one night, and I was also really tired. I write these really freakin' late, when I should be sleeping. I'll try to upload chapters more regularly. We all need a bit more meme in our lives. Thanks for understanding. NOW ON TO CHAPTER 2!

Chapter 2: The Inciting Incident

"Get up."

I hear this as I turn over in my sheets. I peek at my bedside clock. It was 2:16 AM.

C'mon bro, we gotta get up."

It was Alex. He was getting me out of bed. It was going to be my first full day living with the Super Beard Bros.

Alex told me there was a big breakfast made downstairs, and Jirard wants us to have our first big feast together as a family. Jirard, Alex, and Shigeru. Rolls right off the tongue, doesn't it?

The breakfast wasn't cooked on a stove or anything. The cold food was placed next to a speaker playing the world famous album "Big Bad Bosses" because it is so hot it cooks the food as good as a few hundred degree stove. You should check it out.

Now you might be asking, "why did you all get up at 2:16 AM for breakfast?"

As Jirard has said in every single episode of The Completionist to date, "The early bird gets the worm." Or is it the bagel?

Alex and I walk downstairs, arms around each other like brothers.

Jirard has a big goofy grin on his face as we reach the table. We are all so happy to be together as friends.

Jirard was wearing a really tight t-shirt that said "DICK" on the front in giant letters.

Alex was wearing a nightgown and cap. I was wearing a

Our breakfast was a big plate of corn beef hash. We all ate off of the same plate, and used our hands like wild ape men. We wanted to feel like Donkey Kong. Dong.

Suddenly, the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade comes smashing through the fucking wall and destroys the whole fucking mansion. Holy fucking shit. We scream at the paraders to stop marching through our home, but they just refuse, and keep on going right though our fucking house, insisting it was the path on their parade map, and it was! Rip Beard Bros Mansion.

"Dudes! Those Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade motherfuckers knocked all of our money into the incinerator!" Alex informed us.

"Shit. We need some cash, or else Beard Bros won't be real anymore."

I keep my cool. I must do everything in my power to make sure Beard Bros stays alive. I wouldn't be where I am right now (standing on a pile of rubble from a destroyed mansion).

Jirard told us what the next step of action was.

"Alright guys. We have to remain positive. I know everything we've worked for has been destroyed, but we built ourself up, and we can do it again! We gotta get a starting point to start making some cash. Let's gather our things and hit the road!"

Alex came up carrying a backpack. "Alrighty guys, I got the interns in their pokéballs, in this backpack. I also packed some low carb snacks, 2 copies of Bee Movie, 6 copies of Shrek 2, and a capture card."

The only thing we really need now before we get started on our adventure was a set of wheels.

We wondered around L.A. for quite a while looking for a ride. We found a frog in a car, but it was a frog, and we are fully grown men. Can't fit in.

"What now?" I asked the bearded men.

"Idunno." replied Jirard.

"Wait, I think I remembered someone we can visit for a ride." Alex stated.

We pulled up in front of the Game Theorists' Castle. We knocked on the enormous drawbridge.

Out came a spooky skeleton guard or something. It held us down with its magic powers.

As it slowly approached us, we became filled with dread and fear. The sweat dripped down our faces. This was where it would all end. Our legacy would die right here. Beard Bros would be gone forever.

When the skeleton reached us like its pray, it leaned into my ear and said:

"I'm actually Ness."

The skeleton then let us into the castle, and gave us directions to the throne room.

After walking through the ornate halls, we reached the ruler of this castle, King MatPat.

"How can I help yee, loyal theorists?" questioned the king.

"We need a ride, man." Alex said.

"Well you guys are in luck! I'm working on an episode of Game Theory about cars! If you guys help me out, I'll give you a car!"

"Sounds like a plan, man. Whadd'ya need?"

"Here, just follow me this way. I have all the stuff we need in this backpack."

MatPat took us outside, as we began walking down the streets of L.A.

After about a half hour, we arrived at the place MatPat wanted to arrive at.

It was a car dealership.

MatPat slipped on a ski mask, grabbed his duel katana, and went told us the plan. Just kidding. He didn't have a plan. This was going to be an episode on how necessary strategizing in video games is. MatPat told us to just chill out here until he gave us further instructions.

MatPat runs inside the dealership, screaming in some ancient tongue while swinging his swords around. The alarm goes off.

MatPat rushes out after a solid minute. Cops are pulling up to the building. MatPat wedges one of his katana in the door handle in a way that keeps it blocked so the mob of bodyguards chasing after him couldn't reach him.

"I MANAGED TO GRAB A SINGLE PAIR OF KEYS! WE GOTTA DO THIS FAST OR WE'RE DEAD!" MatPat loudly informed us.

The cops start getting out of their cars.

"WHAT CAR IS IT?" Jirard yells.

MatPat clicks the keys to see what car the keys belonged to, by seeing which car beeps. It was a shitty white pedophile van. We mad dash towards it, with cops chasing behind us.

"TAKE THIS!" MatPat says as he throws his remaining katana at a police officer.

It bounced off. It was a foam toy, and not a real sword.

MatPat fumbles around with keys before I snatch it out of his hand open up the car.

"JIRARD, YOU DRIVE." I yell.

Jirard hops in and starts up the car. It takes a few seconds. This thing is a piece of crap.

We back up, as the mob of cops now disperse and get back in their cars.

An epic chase ensues. The police try to form a blockade in front of us and stop us, but Jiard just rolls down the window and yells "MOVE ASOID!"

"That's the mother, Rick!" Alex says.

We eventually drive over city lines, with the cops off our tail. We cheer with happiness. We were in the desert now.

Just as it looks like MatPat will be joining our team of renegade Memesters, we see a shadowy, black-clothed figure out of the window for a split second. He appeared to teleport to us for a small moment before teleporting away, but it was what he did in that time that matters. He fired a bullet towards the driver's seat, right towards Jirard's head, but it misses by a hair and hits the man in the passenger seat, MatPat.

We stopped the car. MatPat was fading out of consciousness.

"You gotta stay alive man! We need you!" Alex said.

"I'm so sorry, everyone, but it looks like my time here is just about up. *cough* *cough*

But you guys gotta keep going! Go bring back Beard Bros.! I know you can! *cough* *cough*

But hey...

That's just a theory...

A GAM-"

MatPat was dead.

Our journey was off to a rough start, but we all moved on within a few minutes, for the sake of story progression.

Suddenly, Jirard let out a huge gasp and let go out the wheel in shock. The car spun out. When it came to a stop, Alex and I simultaneously asked "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT!?"

Jirard slowly turned around to us with a shaken up look on his face.

"I JUST REMEMBERED SOMETHING OF EXTREME IMPORTANCE TO US RIGHT NOW."

"WHAT IS IT!?" Alex and I asked.