Life As We Knew It Chapter Two

Chapter 2 *Anna's POV*

It was hard to see Elsa pretend to be something she's not. Having to lie to our parents about her feelings, to her friends, and continue on with life like normal before she came out to me. Elsa was at least able to confide her feelings in me, she had said, having someone to help like you was more than I could've ever asked for.

She had started to dress more androgynous as the days wore on. I had helped her, by showing her how to put on makeup (I'm not the best teacher as I hardly ever wear any.) I'd go to her room every night, or every other night, and we'd just talk, about anything really. Elsa didn't say much, but she was a great listener. When her being transgender was brought up in our late night discussions, she'd just sigh and bare a grimace.

"Anna, it's not going to do me any good if we keep talking about it and I get my hopes up," Elsa would say to me.

"But Elsa," I responded, "What do you have to look forward too? You want to make a change some day, don't you?"

"Yeah I do, but we both know mom and dad's reactions are going to harsh. They aren't exactly the most progressive people in the world."

"I told you I'll be there when you come out to them, it's not like they're going to kick you out or anything."

"Anna," She'd with a sigh, "I've heard stories of people who've been kicked out or disowned by their family members for being Trans, and I don't want to put you in that kind of situation." After that she'd switch subjects swiftly. It was getting frustrating to see her like this, helpless. Caught in between her dreams and desires and the fear of persecution from those closest to her.

To help cope with some of the emotions Elsa had taken to writing, although she was a good writer before, she never wrote with such emotion before. We'd all be at a restaurant and Elsa would just pull out a pen and started writing poetry on napkins or rhymes on paper cups. She took on such a peaceful face when she did so, the tension in her eyebrows would relax and her tongue would just barely peek out the side of her mouth.

I'd snuck into her room when she was gone one day, to read some of her work. I found a crumpled piece of paper in the bottom drawer of her desk, and on it, in beautiful cursive was the following:

I know what troubles my heart,

So I often tried to alleviate it with art.

It offers a temporary cure,

But no sense of being secure.

I only have one to confide in,

But I can tell that her patience wears thin.

I don't know how long I can sustain this,

I fear one day I'll try to stop my tongue, but miss.

This road that I travel on is made of ice,

And every day is a throw of the dice.

-Elsa Arrendelle

My eyes started tearing up at the poem before me, why didn't Elsa tell me any of this? Was she scared of how I would react? Or did she think she was being too much of a burden? Either way, I had to talk to Elsa, not confront her, but just comfort her, it was obvious she was struggling. How could someone in her position not? So I put the piece of paper in my pocket and went into my room.

So I waited for Elsa to come home, and soon she did. She trudged up the stairs and went directly into her room. I knew I had to wait until our parents had gone to sleep to avoid them accidently intruding on our conversation. I didn't want to risk Elsa having to come out when she wasn't ready for it. Let her make the decision. I waited until around midnight just texting friends on my phone. I crept down the short hallway and pushed open Elsa's door, and walked quietly to beside her bed. I was going to wake her, but one look at her face, and I didn't want to disrupt her sleep. Her face was just like it was when she wrote, calm and the fear that had burrowed its way into her eyebrows had released itself.

I began to notice the things I didn't really have the chance to, her hair, while still short, had grown a tad longer. Her face was facing me, and I could see the gentle rise and fall of her body as she breathed. Anna, stop being a creep and get out of Elsa's room.

I eventually returned to my room and as I laid back on my bed waiting for sleep to come to me, I came to the realization that although Elsa was admittedly boyish looking, I couldn't help but notice that most of my memories of her, Elsa had always acted slightly different from the boys I knew and known. Not that there were many boys I knew, Kristoff, Olaf, and Marshmallow, (His real name was Marshall, but an incident at a camping trip involving s'mores and fire gave him his nickname.) Elsa was always more into things that were more creative, he never played in the mud or played sports with me and my friends, he'd always rather draw or write. While that certainly wasn't very feminine, in hindsight it placed a few more pieces in the puzzle.

All I knew was I that I couldn't wait for Elsa to come out, I didn't want her to have hide herself. It was often heart breaking how much she would conceal from me. And although Elsa's journey was far from over, I couldn't help but feel like she was at least trying to be honest with me.

Time to go to bed Anna, sleep is good for you. And you know how you are in the morning if you don't get a good night's rest. With a final sigh, I rolled over and allowed the peaceful blanket of sleep overtake me.

I redid this chapter so I could write and pour more emotion into Elsa's character. But I couldn't have shown the emotions as well as I think I have done without some lovely folks on reddit for sharing their experiences and letting me really put myself and consequently putting Elsa into the world in which she lives. So big thanks to Toni_Toni, ThisIsNotMyBody, and Cynthash for their contributions. Next chapter will be the coming out, so get your chocolates and tissues, because this is the first time, I've ever had to put trigger warnings in my writings.

Love you all, and I'll speak with you soon,

Luna