We are at war! It is not the best option, but for the moment it’s the only option. Every day we wake up with goals and small victories. All these accumulate to mountains of success; however, we are at war!

I’m gonna share with you on how you can spread the love and move on to more successes.

Conflict is the clash of incompatible goals. The origin of the conflict arises from the differing attitudes, behaviour and value of ideals of the parties. Conflict may escalate to a war. But is it just?

So what’s a just war? This is the philosophy behind declaration of and conduct in war. So a war is only just if it is fought for altruistic causes. It is meant to set the wrongs done right.

Let’s get a bit technical. There are two concepts: right to just war and conduct during the war. The right to just war deals with the final decision to do the right thing according to you. And conduct in war involves sustaining equality and fairness in war.

So how do you use this?

1. Patch things up:

The other day, two brothers (X and Y) went to blows after they realised that they have a thing for a particular flower among men. This is a common event in life. And sometimes is hard to find the one. Unfortunately, they had to fight to decide who would become the ‘plucker’.

It was like the scene in Assassin’s Creed where Conor finally killed his opponent. He was bleeding and waiting for the welcoming voices of the beyond. In this case, the brothers we on their last breath when each exerted their final blow on the other… and just like that the flower was claimed by the village idiot/genius. Poor development of that story…

Anyway, X had these attitude that the Y always claimed the freshest fruit for themselves. And the fact that Y could not see the love he had for the flower meant he was selfish. The best thing to do was to rid the world of such selfishness.

Well, for us to deal with any conflict one has to be tolerant of others and resolute to modify ones attitudes.

2. What is the conflict about

I am a victim of this one.

I can have a whole argument about why the sun sets in the east, when the discussion was how I can’t bake.

Get to know what exactly the issue is. So that the dialogue makes sense for the both of yous! (Grammar Nazis?)

3. Get your tools ready, we have a house to rebuild…

When all is said and tears shed. The reconstruction must begin. Get you plan sorted out… between the two of yous! (Am I pissing you off yet?)

Ask for advice from a professional. Not your ex. Even if he is the only professional you know…

Keep talking to make sure that the plan made is effective and sustainable. And we can learn to love again…

Much love,

Steja.