Wouldn’t it be nice if your landlord answered to you? Maybe next time we should think twice about electing a pr*sident with more conflicts of interest than functioning brain cells.

The New York Times is reporting that the Trump International Hotel, which is located a few blocks from the White House, is seeking a break on the terms of its lease in the wake of the COVID-19 pandemic, which has devastated the hospitality industry.

In recent weeks, the president’s family business has inquired about changing its lease payments, according to people familiar with the matter, which the federal government has reported amount to nearly $268,000 per month. The Trump Organization owns and operates the luxury hotel, but it is in a federally owned building on Pennsylvania Avenue. As part of its deal to open the 263-room hotel, the company signed a 60-year lease in 2013 that requires the monthly payments to the General Services Administration. Eric Trump, the president’s son, confirmed that the company had opened a conversation about possible changes to the terms of the lease, which could include adjustments to future monthly payments. The Trump Organization has said it is current on its rent.

JUST POSTED: Trump's family company has asked Trump administration for a break on its rent at the federally owned Old Post Office building where Trump runs his luxury hotel. A conflict? You can decide. @davidenrich @SteveEder @benprotess https://t.co/V0Y9Bbhw5M — Eric Lipton (@EricLiptonNYT) April 21, 2020

Maybe the Trump Organization should diversify away from hotels and resorts into vodka, steaks, and fake universities or something. That’s business 101, right?

For his part, Eric “I Couldn’t Possibly Be Dumber Than I Look” Trump just wants his company to be treated like any other entity that hasn’t been violating the Constitution’s emoluments clause 24/7 for the past three and a half years.

The younger Mr. Trump said the company was asking the G.S.A. for any relief that it might be granting other federal tenants. The president still owns the company, but his eldest sons run the day-to-day operations. “Just treat us the same,” Eric Trump said in a statement on Tuesday. “Whatever that may be is fine.”

Treat you like everyone else? Well, your dad doesn’t give a shit about you, so you’re our equal in that respect. But that’s neither here nor there. Either way, I hope you enjoy your socialist bailout, Eric. I have a sneaking suspicion it will be approved. Don’t fret now, little snowflake.

Is Trump still chafing your arse-cheeks? Then Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are the pick-me-up you need! Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief. And they’re way, way cheaper than therapy.