“If, one day, a people desire to live, then fate will answer their call. / And their night will then begin to fade, and their chains break and fall.”

An English translation of the beautiful and inspiring lines of the late Tunisian poet Abu al-Qasim al-Shabi – for me, as a Palestinian, they speak of the crisis between Palestine and Israel.

Over two decades has passed since the Oslo accords. At the time, there was a sense of hope. Many people, and certainly the Palestinians, thought this was a turning point – the chance to create a free Palestinian state, a prosperous new nation on the edge of the Mediterranean, a kind of Singapore of the Middle East.

The accords failed – and we are still struggling to find a way forward that will work.

Over the 20 years since Oslo, there have been a number of wars. We have seen the expansion of settlements by Israel. Under international law, they are illegal and challenge any progress.

Those Palestinian children born at the time of Oslo are now 20-year-olds; they are young adults. With a stagnant economy, punitive travel restrictions and a high unemployment rate, a generation of frustrated young Palestinians with little hope for their future is in danger of radicalisation. Students can access the internet for only a few hours a day, there is only sporadic electricity, and even the access to water is controlled. This is no way for people to live.

No wonder many have lost faith in direct negotiations. Palestinians want to live in freedom and with dignity – these are fundamental human rights. Young people need to laugh, be free, and have all the joys of an unimpeded youth. Above all, they need to be given dignity. But occupation instead leads to frustration, to a pressure-cooker atmosphere, and then some turn to struggle and the kind of violence that has flared up in recent weeks.

Every street becomes a new border; neighbourhoods are surrounded with barbed wire and concrete.

Meanwhile, in a recent survey by the Hebrew Channel 2, 80% of Israelis who were surveyed said they didn’t feel safe or secure in Israel. Also 73% of Israelis said Binyamin Netanyahu had failed to manage the conflict with the Palestinians.

For both sides, the crisis is seemingly intractable. I know, as I was born in a refugee camp in the Gaza Strip. But I never lose hope that we can learn from the past and build up a two-state solution – where Palestinians can live with hope and dignity, and Israelis can also feel safe and secure.

‘In a recent survey by the Hebrew Channel 2, 73% of Israelis said that Binyamin Netanyahu had failed to manage the conflict with the Palestinians.’ Photograph: Ronen Zvulun/AFP/Getty

How can our political leaders look orphaned children or bereaved parents in the eye? On both sides politicians have failed to achieve the security they promised. Instead, they communicate with violence, fear, threats, retaliation and intimidation. The only result is more hatred, bloodshed, killing, destruction and violence, and a widening gap between our two nations.

All kinds of weapons and means of killing, burning, shooting, stabbing and destruction have been used. But it has not occurred to us for a moment to use the tools of building and construction.

Should our leaders not apologise for our dead children, our lost youth and our bereaved mothers? Should they not say out loud: “We failed. We must examine our consciences”?

Both the Palestinians and the Israelis must speak loudly with one voice and say no to violence and extremism: enough pain, killing, bloodshed and destruction.

We need two states. This is internationally recognised. So, how can we find new ways and neutral partners to help us achieve that two-state solution? The way forward should involve international actors – the United Nations, the European Union and the United States.

The Palestinians deserve a courageous, honest, and genuine leadership … The Israelis need to be able to feel safe

The UN resolutions on Palestine should be implemented within a specific time frame. Washington needs to reassess its role and military support for Israel. And we all need to keep talking, to use our voices to speak out against hate and injustice.

It is time for the Palestinians to have their own state, a proper infrastructure, job prospects. They are exhausted from factions, movements, leaders, parties. A UN presence in Palestine, at least for a transitional period, is required as the first step to restoring order, an environment of hope and a sustainable economy. The Palestinians deserve a courageous, honest, and genuine leadership that acts for the sake of the people and advocates in the national interest rather than on their own behalf. The Israelis, for their part, need to be able to feel safe.

Back to my favourite Tunisian poet:

“If, one day, a people desire to live, then fate will answer their call. / And their night will then begin to fade, and their chains break and fall. / For he who is not embraced by a passion for life will dissipate into thin air, / At least that is what all creation has told me and what its hidden spirits declare … ”