If somebody calls you to say they’re investigating financial irregularities involving your social insurance number and bank account, it’s a scam.

That’s what I learned after I recorded a call last week from an “Officer Eric Smith” who, with an accent so thick it was hard to understand him, told me that bank accounts in my (phoney) name had been used for illegal activity totalling $7 million.

Before he and another alleged police officer were done, they suggested I tap out my real bank accounts and hand over the money to “resolve” the problem.

Ironically, the call came just before the RCMP announced the arrest of two Brampton residents in “various transnational scams,” including the Canada Revenue Agency phone scam.

The Mounties said the scam involves “callers identifying themselves as CRA and/or RCMP and later other federal government agencies, and intimidating victims into paying non-existent fines or taxes.”

It also noted that the “CRA scam, which is operating out of India, has been targeting the Canadian public since 2014, and despite a number of police raids on illegal call centres in India, continues to victimize Canadians.”

Sgt. Penny Hermann, an RCMP spokesperson, chuckled when I told her how I strung along the scammers. She reassured me that they definitely were not police or government officials, who do not cold-call people and make outrageous allegations or threaten to show up and arrest them.

While their attempts to persuade me that I was in a world of trouble may be laughable, Hermann said the CRA scam has duped victims of more than $16 million between 2014 and 2019.

When I saw a 1-800 number on my phone, with no spaces between the digits, I thought it was another of those “thank you for choosing X” calls selling me a vacation. But when I answered, a recorded message in a flat-toned female voice said there was a problem with my bank accounts, and that I should press one for more information.

That’s when “Officer Smith” came on and asked me preliminary questions, starting with the spelling of my name. I complied, telling him my last name was “Balough,” first name “Joseph.”

I figured he’d soon catch on that he was talking to Joe Blow, and the call wouldn’t go any further, but Officer Smith didn’t get it, allowing me to scam the scammers.

He led me through a series of questions, including the last three digits of my social insurance number, before revealing that 15 bank accounts in the name of Joseph Balough had been used for $7 million worth of money laundering, international wire transactions and drug trafficking.

A “non-revoceable arrest warrant” had been issued in the name of Joseph Balough, he said. Police would be at my door within 45 minutes.

“You’re scaring me!” I wailed. “I don’t even do drugs!”

He soon asked me to look up the phone number of my local RCMP and give it to him, a sure tipoff that he was not who he claimed to be, then said I’d be hearing from the Mounties.

Within a minute, the phone rang with the same RCMP number showing.

They were obviously using “caller ID spoofing” to mimic a legitimate police call. Hermann told me it’s a common tactic in the CRA scam.

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The alleged officer, who had barely any trace of an accent, went all-in on playing the heavy cop, asking me if I “want to resolve the problem or not?” When I said “yes,” he asked how much money I had in the bank, then said the problem would go away for just that amount.

I said I couldn’t draw out that much money on my bank card. He insisted I go to the bank in person and withdraw as much cash as possible.

Again I wailed about being scared. Maybe I finally overplayed my hand, or perhaps he looked closely at my name and made the Joe Blow connection. He snarled “f--- you!” and I started laughing before he hung up.

The bottom line is some good advice from the RCMP: “If someone on the phone is asking for your personal or banking information, hang up and report the activity to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre. If the caller is threatening you or your family, hang up and contact your local police. If you receive an email or text message making suspicious tax claims and urging you to click on a link to submit information, don’t interact and report the occurrence to the Canadian Anti-Fraud Centre, through its website at www.antifraudcentre.ca, or by telephone at 1-888-495-8501.”

What’s broken in your neighbourhood? Wherever you are in Greater Toronto, we want to know. Email jlakey@thestar.ca or follow @TOStarFixer on Twitter

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