Honestly, who thought it was a good idea to have seven of the whitest people on earth compete in a debate to become the leader of the free world by constantly raising their hands like emasculated babies who have to go to the bathroom.

These are not serious people.

The whole night was like, Hey, you’re raising your hand so I’m gunna raise my hand to cancel out you raising your hand and now everyone’s raising their hand which is basically like no one raising their hand because we’ve all canceled each other out, so nyah on your stupid fat ugly face.

Here was my favorite part of last night, direct from the transcript…

(BOOING) BRENNAN: Senator Sanders, your response. SANDERS: Let us be clear, do we think health care for all, Pete, is some kind of radical communist idea? (CROSSTALK) BUTTIGIEG: Well, you brought this up, let’s talk about that. (CROSSTALK) SANDERS: Do we think raising the minimum wage to a living wage… (CROSSTALK) BUTTIGIEG: I’m happy to respond to the question because this is really important… (CROSSTALK) SANDERS: … do we think building the millions of units of affordable housing that we need… (CROSSTALK) BUTTIGIEG: If you’re going to ask that rhetorical question, let’s… (CROSSTALK) SANDERS: … do we think raising taxes on billionaires is a radical idea? (CROSSTALK) BUTTIGIEG: Let’s talk about this. Let’s talk about what’s radical about that plan. (CROSSTALK) SANDERS: Do you think criminal justice reform is a radical idea? (CROSSTALK) BUTTIGIEG: The things you just named are things… (CROSSTALK) SANDERS: Do you think immigration reform? The truth is, Pete… (CROSSTALK) BRENNAN: One at a time. (CROSSTALK) SANDERS: … the American people support my agenda. (CROSSTALK) BUTTIGIEG: The way you’re talking about doing it is radical by… (CROSSTALK) SANDERS: That is why I am beating Trump in virtually every poll that is done, and why I will defeat him. (CROSSTALK) BUTTIGIEG: We’ve got to open this up. Universal health care, for example… BRENNAN: Senator Klobuchar. (CROSSTALK)

I’m sorry, I think I missed something… Would you repeat the middle thing?

How did the CBS News moderators allow this debate to collapse into chaos? And what was with all the shallow and terrible questions about electability and the horse race and your own personal motto?

Everyone looked terrible.

The moderators, Gayle King and Norah O’Donnell, looked like inept substitute teachers; and with their hands in the air and the petty squabbling, the candidates looked like a third-grade classroom taking advantage of inept substitute teachers… And nothing was clarified.

Everyone brought their same tired talking points — except of course Joe “Brain Freeze” Biden, who screamed about 150 million gun violence deaths since 2007, as though that number didn’t come straight out of his ass, as though he were not vice president between 2009 and 2013 and failed to do anything about it.

Bernie, the frontrunner, was Bernie. And to prove he was doubly ready to not be president, he frequently raised both hands.

Elizabeth Warren was so happy with how she did in the previous debate, she decided to perform a rerun with the exact same attacks on Mike Bloomberg. I found this bizarre.

Mike Bloomberg had a better night than that last debate, but if he had walked out naked holding a sparkler in each hand with “Money and Bitchez” tattooed across his chest, it would have been an improvement over that debacle.

Who’s Tom Steyer again?

Was Amy Klobuchar Steyer’s “plus one?”

My main takeaway is that nothing much changed, which helps the frontrunner… Bernie handled the expected attacks as though he expected them.

The others can attack Bernie over Castro all day long, but who outside of Florida cares?

They can attack Bernie over the cost of Medicare for All, but among Democrats, Medicare for All polls in the high sixties.

They can attack Bernie over electability, but he polls as well as the rest of them against Trump, and he’s the only one with a real following, a real base of support, and Big Ideas — and it’s Big Ideas that animate primary voters.

No one cares about your crazy policies, Bernie. No one cares about your racism, Mini Mike. The only lane is Can You Beat Trump, and Bernie walked out of class last night still holding the title of Best Candidate. He’s just better at this than the others, and that’s all that really matters in the Can You Beat Trump Lane.

South Carolina votes Saturday. If Democrats are lucky, Biden will lose, which would pretty much force him to drop out, along with Klobuchar. That would at least ease up on the chaos a bit going into Super Tuesday, which is a mere six days away. But Biden will probably squeak out a win, which helps no one, especially Biden, who should be running away with South Carolina, and I just want to say I’m having the time of my life watching all of this….

Follow John Nolte on Twitter @NolteNC. Follow his Facebook Page here.