The Bottom 10 inspirational thought of the week:

Letting your kids grow up is kind of like releasing a kite into the sky.

You hate to see it go, but it looks so beautiful and free as it climbs higher and higher in the bright blue sky.

-- Author Susan Gale

As I wrap up my first month at the helm of the Bottom 10, I need to make a confession. I am wrestling with emotions that I hadn't expected.

I'm beginning to care.

The vast majority of the Week 4 college football schedule was dreadfully lopsided. The matchups reminded me of what they taught us in Western Civ class about medieval warfare tactics. The first poor folks sent running across the battlefield toward the enemy? It was always the peasants, their job to merely occupy the spears of the opposition to make way for the "real" warriors waiting behind them.

But around midday on Saturday I was suddenly filled with hope. The wave of Bottom 10 sacrificial warriors wasn't content to satisfy its assigned role as arrow receptacle. They were putting up a fight!

There was Georgia State, up 14-0 over Washington at the half. Texas State was pushing around Illinois. Miami of Ohio was in a throwdown with Cincinnati. Vandy was up by a pair of TDs over South Carolina. Even our little UMass Minutemen trailed Penn State only 6-0 at the end of the first quarter!

I realized that I wasn't salivating over potential Bottom 10 material ... no, I was rooting for them all. But I was also torn, because if they did win, I would have to let them go -- like putting my growing-up-too-fast children on the bus for their first ride to big kids school.

Alas, none of them hung on. None. My feelings became even more confused. Had I ever actually wanted them to succeed? The struggle raging inside of me was a tug-of-war of the soul.

But then the pizza man rang the doorbell and I was pretty much over it.

With apologies to Steve Harvey and Dr. Phil, here's this week's Bottom 10.

1. UMass (0-4)

Yes, they hung in Happy Valley for a little while. Then it was Bunker Hill all over again for the Minutemen, who saw their early success eventually overrun by superior forces. Now they march into the teeth of the MAC regular season, beginning with a visit from Bowling Green, who beat Indiana. So, if UMass beats BGSU, who beat Indiana, who beat Missouri, who came within a quarter of winning the SEC a year ago, then yes, I will remove them from this list.

2. Kent State (0-3)

The second round of the B1G/MAC East Challenge took place in Columbus, where the States of Ohio and Kent met for just the third time. All of those games were played in the Horseshoe, which is fitting because the Golden Flashes have left all three matchups feeling as if they needed to have a horseshoe surgically removed from the hindquarters. That's what a combined score of 165-20 will do to you.

3. Troy (0-4)

Over the first month I've heard from multiple fans of Sun Belt teams, reminding me that the MAC (really just the MAC East) might be dominating the Bottom 10 now, but that this is isn't a sprint of sadness, it's a marathon of misery, and I should be warned that its teams would be making their moves soon. Indeed they are, and leading that charge are the Trojans, whom I am told played at Georgia over the weekend, but there doesn't seem to be any evidence that they were actually there.

4. SMU (0-3)

Many of you Mustangs loyalists were quick to correct me last week. You're right. It wasn't an SMU booster who bought Eric Dickerson that '79 Trans Am. It was a Texas A&M booster, but they only made the down payment. Once he arrived on campus, it was someone blue and red who picked up the payments. Speaking of which, did anyone get the license plate number on that Trans Am that ran over SMU last weekend? This weekend they take their 128th-ranked points-for and points-against offense and defense to TCU for the Remember We Were Once In The SWC Bowl.

5. Clepson (1-2)

No, that's not a misspelling. That's a phonetic spelling. As a proud owner of an Upstate South Carolina high school diploma (Go Travelers Rest Devildogs!), I can tell you that occupant of the coveted No. 5 spot isn't pronounced with an "m" in the middle, it's with "p." So, I call it "Clepsoning." As I envision it, coach Dabo Swinney got back to his desk on Sunday and checked his voicemail. Beep. "Hey Dabo, Danny Ford here. I wanted to let you know that there's an old playbook of mine stuffed behind the file cabinet in your office. I know the pages are yellowed and the plays are 30 years old, but pretty much anything in there will work better than what you just tried. Thanks." Beep. You have no more messages.

6. Vanderbilt (1-3)

The bad news? Vandy lost again. The good news? The Commodores are still in the hunt in the SEC East, which is in a "Talladega Nights" footrace with the ACC Coastal for the award of "Power 5 Conference Division Most Resembling a Plate of Spaghetti."

7. New Mexico State (2-2)

Was the Rio Grande Rivalry everything we hoped it might be? No, it was better. And as unusual as it might be for a 2-2 team to be on this list, let's consider the body of work. The Aggies' 2-0 start came via victories over Georgia State and Cal Poly, a school that has only played football for five years and a school that I honestly did not know plays football. Then they lost to UTEP. And now they lost at home to their 0-2 rival via a TD pass with 27 seconds remaining.

8. Eastern Michigan (1-3)

The Eagles reenter the Bottom 10 after a 73-14 loss to Michigan State. I wasn't at the game, but I'm told that the last four Spartans touchdowns were scored by the equipment managers, the MSU video crew and the Kappa Deltas. In its three losses, the team from Oopsilanti has been outscored 155-17.

9. Appalachian State (1-2)

The Mountaineers' Week 1 loss to Michigan is looking worse by the hour. That win over scholarship-less Campbell (Go Camels!) was never going to look good. There was a time when a one-point loss to Southern Miss would have been a nice measuring stick. This is not that time. It was the Golden Eagles' third win in 28 games. Now it's off to Georgia Southern for the We Think McGee Hates Us No Matter What We Do Bowl. Back in the day, this game was a guaranteed FCS classic. Now it's ... well, it's not that.

10. UConn (1-3)

The Huskies and their Rorschach Test helmets started their American Athletic Conference of America conference schedule with a near-win against USF in which they racked up 132 yards of offense and six first downs. This during an era of college football when box scores come with 15 first downs and 300 yards preloaded, like an unwanted U2 album.

Waiting List: My-hammy of Ohio (0-4), Idaho (0-3), FIU (1-3), FAU (1-3), everyone in the Mountain West's West division except for Nevada, the Georgia Southern fan who stuck a bumper sticker on my dash at the grocery store.