White House press secretary Sean Spicer revealed that contrary to popular belief two plus two does, in alternative fact, equals five.

The revelation came in response to a question from journalist Winston Smith of News Peak Magazine.

Winston clearly made the question in jest, but Spicer’s dry response seemed a cause for doubleplus concern to the gathered press.

Upon laughing at Spicer’s response, Winston was quickly escorted out of the press room by truncheon-wielding guards.

Stubhill News has reached out to Winston for comment, but there has been no response.

At press time, we had always been at war with Eastasia.

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