How many women have to die before people decide to take seriously the very real, ever present, issue of men’s violence against them? Dog whistling politicians love to fling mud at migrant communities, stoking propaganda against them and nurturing the racism and violence that all too many white people consider to be a good day out, but they refuse to properly address the reality of misogyny and its widespread harm. Women of colour like Aiia are targeted by this violence at significantly higher rates, yet we have legislators and right-wing pundits embracing the tenets of white supremacy under the guise of "preserving our values". Loading Replay Replay video Play video Play video Exactly what values are we protecting in Australia, especially when benign conversations about sexism and men being better too often result in yet more misogyny being produced as some kind of retaliation? You men want to stop being lumped in with all the "bad apples"? Consider yourselves lucky that this is all you have to deal with. Women just want to get home safely, and to not become another statistic in the much more prevalent danger posed to us by the men we live with, sleep with and sit across the table from once we get there. Think about that the next time you decide to whine that "it’s a really scary time to be a man".

Loading Aiia was reportedly speaking on the phone when she was attacked. Whether this was her intention or not, this is one of the many tactics women learn to minimise risk to us on the street. Walk with your keys between your fingers. Smoke a cigarette. When in doubt, call a friend. Jill Meagher tried to do the same thing the night Adrian Bayley stalked, raped and murdered her a few suburbs over from where Aiia was killed. Use your common sense. It might not be fair, but the world isn’t safe for you.

And so we do. But the moment we talk about it we’re accused of paranoia, hysteria and, the worst of all the crimes a woman can commit: man-hating. We’re expected to monitor and modify our behaviour to "prevent" harm, but we are never allowed to discuss the reality of that in case it makes men feel somehow implicated. Guess what, men? You are all implicated. It doesn't mean you are all responsible for it, but as you exist in a class of people who maintain these rights and privileges over others it is up to you to be active in destroying that. It is up to you to call out your friends and family, your colleagues, and your fellow men when they act in a way that contributes to sexist ideology, whether that's just through the telling of basic "jokes" or the actual abuse of women, and even of men: the misogynist, homophobic bullying that occurs between men is part of this too. Intervention needs to start early and, in an online era, trust me when I say the adoption of sexist language, ideology and practices begins well before boys turn into men. Basic sexism is the foundation of gendered violence. It isn't something that sits on the periphery, separate and inconsequential.

Loading You want to know the common thread linking every man who decides to rape and murder a woman just making her way home at night? They’ve laughed at sexist jokes. They’ve agreed that "women ain't shit". They’ve liked a comment online that says "feminism is cancer" or "that bitch needs a dick in her mouth to shut her up". Every time these men see other men minimising sexism and misogyny in their environments is another moment that makes them believe that men think alike; that women are sluts and whores who deserve to be taught a lesson. Haha, get back in the kitchen, bitch! Can I speak to the man in charge? You f---ing ugly dog, I'm gonna bash your face in.