“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” — Lao Tzu

For a long time I thought I understood this quote. It’s so straightforward, there seems little room for misinterpretation. And yet, there is.

See, for many years, I thought Lao Tzu was saying that every journey begins with that first, single physical step. We put a foot out in front of us, lean forward slight, and then whoosh! Away we go.

But that’s not the first step. Not by a long shot.

The first step is never physical. It is entirely mental.

The first step is a decision.

A decision to commit. A decision to act.

If we never make this decision, we will never do.

Definition

The word decision comes from Latin and it literally means “to cut off”. By making a decision, we effectively cut out all other possibilities. We make them inaccessible. Remove them from the equation.

They are no longer open to us.

This sudden loss of options, the fear that we might make the wrong decision and choose incorrectly, holds us prisoner. Indecision reigns, and in its wake we are left shackled. Unable to move forward, unable to go back. We succumb to analysis paralysis.

This is where discontentment appears. Because, like a shark, we humans drown when we’re not moving forward. We drown in discontentment and frustration and melancholy.

You need to be moving forward.

And as Lao Tzu reminds us, you cannot move forward without first making a decision.

Your first step: Decide what you want

I recommend taking some good old fashioned me-time, sitting down with a notebook, and jotting down what exactly it is you want.

Define your wants.

Don’t censor yourself with thoughts of, “Oh, this would be nice, but it’s not realistic.” All goals are equally valid, equally plausible, but only if you decide to to throw the full weight of your ability and passion into it.

Now, if you’re like me, at this point, you probably have a pretty long list of goals.

Step two: Prioritize what you want

This is an incredibly important step, but it’s the one most people fail to do. Create a hierarchy of your wants/goals.

If you do not clearly establish which goals are more important to you than others, then inevitably, when the going gets tough and you must make a decision between one goal and another, you will opt for whichever one is easier to accomplish. This is called the Principle of Least Resistance.

Now, I’m not a fortune teller, but I can all but guarantee that whatever goals you hold in highest esteem, the big hairy, crazily audacious ones that you’re afraid to share with friends and family for fear of ridicule, are by their very definition, the most difficult ones to achieve.

So, if you fail to prioritize these goals above all others, you will never take the first steps in actually achieving them.

The only way to combat this ingrained, default position, is to list out your goals, and then decide which ones are the most important to you.

Step three: Do what you want

This is the hardest step, because this is the point in the process where you must make an active decision to do and then you must follow-through. Every. Single. Day.

It is not enough to wake up and say, “I’m going to write a novel.”

It’s not even enough to wake up every day for a week and say, “I’m going to write a novel.”

You must wake up and say, “I’m going to write a novel,” (and then you must actually sit down to write the blasted thing), every single day until the project is complete.

This is the only way to achieve anything of great value.

Drains on your will-power

Studies indicate that will-power is not some bottomless well from which we can repeatedly pull. On the contrary, like a muscle, it has a finite capacity for exertion.

You can only do so many pushups before your arms give out, and no matter how bad you want just one more rep, it won’t happen. The muscle can give no more.

It’s the same with will-power.

Problem is, most people don’t think about will-power in these terms, and instead of safe-guarding their decision making powers for the really big issues, we squander our will-power on tiny, inconsequential things all day long.

For example: Deciding what you were going to eat for breakfast this morning, deciding what to wear, deciding which route to take to work, etc…