Dear John: I am 71. Four years ago I needed hearing aids.

After getting $5,000-plus price quotes at audiologists, I shopped Costco and bought a pair of Phonak aids for $3,000.

Last week, after noticing some more hearing loss, I went to Costco to find an updated pair. Those same Phonak aids have been improved with built-in Bluetooth for iPhones, and they were now $1,499.

What’s more, if you lose them within the three-year warranty period, they are replaced for free — an offer which I took advantage of after jumping in the ocean with them on.

Costco replaces retainers and wax filters for free.

It also has other brands that cost more or less.

My hearing aids are the behind-the-ear style. Costco also carries the models that you insert.

I highly recommend everyone shop Costco just to check them out. P.M.

Dear P.M.: Please raise your right hand and swear that you are not a member of Costco’s founding family or an executive of the company — because this sounds like an advertisement right out of Costco’s marketing department.

OK, I trust you. And since this might help others, I’ll run your letter.

But let me add this: While you are at Costco, pick up one of those huge apple pies and some steaks — oh, yeah, and some paper products.

Now you know why I hate shopping there. I always leave broke.