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Are you in Melbourne right now? Then don’t even bother trying to get around.

Seriously, not even on foot. Just stop what you’re doing, curl up in a ball on the floor and sob quietly like the rest of us.

The city’s train network is in full shutdown mode right now, in the grips of an industrial strike that has brought the city to a standstill.

Sure, the trams and busses are still running. But the trains. The trains.

The chaos began at 8:30am this morning as carriages were slowly taken off the network in preparation for the official start of the strike at 10am.

It’s been planned for a full week, giving people plenty of time to make alternative arrangements. And as it turns out, those arrangements have simply been to declare a mass writ of “FUCK THIS” and chuck an impromptu long weekend.

You’d expect that traffic would be absolutely beyond fucked this morning, right? Wrong.

We need a #trainstrike daily because Tullamarine Freeway after Moreland Road is a dream run @tom_cowie @theage pic.twitter.com/SMJZHQfG67 — Suzanne Carbone (@SuzanneCarbone) September 3, 2015

Clear sailing on the notoriously backed up Tullamarine Freeway right smack bang in the middle of peak hour.

And the bike paths? Clear and quiet.

In fact, people have been staying away from work in droves, with VicRoads even recommending people take the day off if they can manage it.

The city’s train stations have become virtual ghost towns.

Basically, this is Melbourne right now.

The network will recommence services at 2pm, but it’s expected that services won’t return to normal until the evening, if at all.

Meanwhile, in good news for the Train Union, other labor unions have shown support for the strike by launching sympathy action.

Photo: Michael Dodge via Getty Images.