Marlboro mom survives stroke: I had to get better for my kids, husband

MARLBORO - Bleary-eyed and tired, Catherine Zalewski stumbled her way downstairs to make a bottle for her 6-month-old daughter Ava.

Something was off. Her hands fumbled a bit as she worked. She couldn't quite grasp the bottle. She was exhausted and couldn't quite see.

Of course, today is a little tough, Zalewski thought to herself back in 2010. I'm a tired, new mom. And I'm doing this without my contacts this morning.

Zalewski never considered anything could be wrong. She was young, 28. After giving birth, Zalewski, a self-described goal-motivated person, decided to complete a fitness competition.

Zalewski was in top physical shape and was on the verge of her new fitness training career. She and her husband, Mark, had this lovely new daughter, a burgeoning family.

Zalewski was at her peak. A stroke sent her tumbling down an abyss.

"I was a 28-year-old having a stroke," said Zalewski, now 36, and a mom of two. "For me, it was just mind-boggling. It completely took me by surprise."

Now, eight years later, Zalewski speaks about her experience so that other moms make sure they are caring for themselves even though their first instinct is to put their families first.

"You have to stay on top of your health. If you are not healthy, there is no way you can take care of your kids and your family," she said. "I have two angels that need my help and need me to be here and need me to be healthy for them."

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About 795,000 people have strokes each year, roughly one every 40 seconds, according to the American Stroke Association.

Strokes are the leading cause of disability in the United States and the fifth-leading cause of death, killing nearly 133,000 people each year.

More women have strokes than men in part because they live longer.

But it never occurred to Zalewski that she could have a stroke. Strokes didn't happen to people young and healthy, like her. Or so she thought.

After a bit of struggle preparing the bottle, Zalewski made it to her daughter's room where she fed Ava, then placed her back in her crib.

Zalewski lay down on the futon in Ava's room sometime around 8 a.m. to take a nap. She thought she woke up later that morning.

Mark soon corrected her. It was 4 p.m. He had tried calling her all day to check on her.

Her phone had been next to her, but it didn't wake her. Mark sent a neighbor to knock. That didn't work either.

Neither did Ava's cries.

"She had tears stains on her face because she was crying for a bottle. She was just hungry and I didn't hear her at all," Zalewski said, straining to hold back her tears.

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Neither Catherine nor Mark was sure what was wrong. The Zalewskis had planned to go to Mark's parents' house that evening and packed up the car to head to Freehold.

When their family saw Catherine after arriving, they urged her to go to the hospital.

After a battery of tests over a week and a referral to a doctor a Columbia University Medical Center, who finally confirmed Zalewski had a cryptogenic stroke, where a clot prevents the flow of blood to the brain, but the cause itself is not known.

About 200,000 strokes, roughly 30 percent of all ischemic strokes, are cryptogenic, according to the American Stroke Association.

Doctors also found a hole in her heart that required a surgery in the fall of 2010.

A long recovery

Zalewski spent months in in-patient rehab where she relearned everything. Walking. Speaking. Eating with a fork.

Zalewski said she was thankful to have a strong support system in her family, especially her mother-in-law who cared for Ava.

But it was a struggle for Zalewski, who wanted to return home and once again be able to care for her husband and baby.

"I wanted to get up because I wanted to be normal," she said.

Zalewski was at risk of falling, leaving doctors concerned she might hit her head and possibly cause a worse issue.

The result: Nurses put an alarm on Zalewski's wheelchair so she would not get up.

The lowest point for Zalewski came when she had to shower with a nurse as she regained her balance and trained her brain to relearn simple tasks like shampooing her hair.

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All the while, Zalewski kept her focus on Ava.

"I literally didn't know if I was ever going to be able to hold her again. Having that thought in your mind — I could not have that thought," she said.

"I knew I needed to stay focused on getting better. My end goal was to come home and hold her and be with her. And be a wife and a mother."

A high point came in a dirty diaper. Relearning to change her daughter's diaper was a sign that Zalewski was going to make it. She was going to get better for her daughter.

Mrs. New Jersey

By early 2011, Zalewski's life was starting to feel normal. But she still felt hesitant to put herself back out there again.

"It's like you're living a brand new life. But you're still in the same life," she said.

Zalewski knew she needed something to force herself to get better. Enter the Mrs. New Jersey pageant.

"I needed something to work for," she said. "I needed to prove to myself I could do it."

Zalewski had never participated in a pageant before. But she figured preparing for the pageant would give her the day-to-day tasks help her continue her recovery and prove to herself she was back, both physically and emotionally.

In May 2011, she won the Mrs. New Jersey title and later placed in the top 12 out of 54 in the national Mrs. America competition.

A second stroke

Her stroke also spurred Zalewski to complete her certification to become a personal trainer. In 2013, she started working at Jersey Strong in Marlboro.

And it was among her co-workers there that Zalewski suffered her second stroke in 2015.

Zalewski back at work after giving birth to her son, Jaxon, four months earlier. She was working out with a client when she felt something was off.

She went into her manager's office to tell him what happened. But what in her brain was a clear message about her concern of a second stroke came out in a jumble of words.

"I melted down. I knew what was happening, but I couldn't verbalize it," she said. "I had felt like I had my life back and the rug was being pulled out from underneath me again."

Knowing her history, her manager called an ambulance. Because of the quick action, medical staff was able to administer tissue plasminogen activator, a medication known as TPA that can reduce long-term effects of stroke.

The American Stroke Association considers TPA the "gold standard" for stroke treatment, but it can only be administered in a short window after onset.

But it was a few days before Zalewski would realize how effective TPA — what she now calls her "saving grace" — was for her.

At the moment, Zalewski was crushed. She was 33, a mother of two and feared the months-long recovery she faced five years earlier.

"All I did was cry," she said. "I thought I was doing everything I could to keep myself healthy."

Day by day, Zalewski saw small improvements. By the fifth day, she was able to return home.

The strokes have made notable changes in her life.

Zalewksi said she'll likely be on blood thinners for the rest of her life. Her husband gave her the life alert bracelet that she wears on her wrist every day.

She still struggles sometimes to find her words and plays puzzles on an app on her phone to exercise her brain.

Zalewski is done having children. She suspects the increased blood flow from her pregnancies was a factor in her strokes.

But the strokes have also taught Zalewski to slow down and cherishes the little moments in her family's life.

"I've been blessed. I have a beautiful daughter. I have a beautiful son," she said.

"I need to be present because I don't want to miss a second."

Susanne Cervenka: @scervenka; 732-643-4229; scervenka@gannettnj.com