Fox Sports screenshot

The bulging, over-full colostomy bag who somehow maintains his rotund, deflated kickball-shaped figure despite participating in the daily yoga routine of perpetually contorting himself to always end up on white America’s side of any issue while criticizing and castigating anything or anyone remotely connected to blackness has opened his bile-spewing mouth again. Or—as some people call him—Jason Whitlock.


Maybe you only recently become familiar with Whitlock when he said that LeBron James doesn’t experience racism because he’s rich. Perhaps you know him from when he wrote a piece equating inner-city violence with the “Black KKK.” Or maybe you know him from one-upping Craig and Smokey from Friday and actually getting fired from a job that he hadn’t started yet.

In the world of blowhard, self-hating Negroes, it’s hard to beat Jason “The White Man’s Ice Is Colder” Whitlock.


But he outdid himself Wednesday with an epic rant about Colin Kaepernick, whom Whitlock notoriously hates for being black. And skinny. And talented. And unapologetic. But mostly because he’s black.

Yesterday, while filling in for Colin Cowherd (another chunk of God’s diarrhea manifested in human form) on Fox Sport’s The Herd, Whitlock did an entire segment on Joe Montana’s recent comments that the reason the former San Francisco quarterback isn’t in the league is simply talent, or a lack of it. Whitlock took a few shots at Kaepernick and said, “This is not about race,” but it was nothing that any blob-shaped blabbermouth who exists on an exclusive diet of haterade and s’mores-flavored Pop-Tarts wouldn’t normally say.

But in the next segment, Whitlock went off the rails after he took a call from a caller named Abed. Abed, obviously intending to stoke Whitlock’s Negrophobia, began by praising Kaepernick’s national anthem protest and said that Kaepernick’s attention “wasn’t for himself,” but Whitlock wasn’t having it, so he interrupted:

You can have that point of view. There are others, like myself, who think he is doing this for himself. That this is about working through his identity issues and building the Kaepernick brand. I disagree with you. You can have your opinion, but there are those of us who think he started this trying to build his own brand. It wasn’t really about the country.


Typical Whitlock shit. Then Abed asked Whitlock if he thought there was another way that Kaepernick could have gotten the same amount of attention. Whitlock responded:

Abed, let me ask you this: Why do you think attention is some great solution? Oh, you gotta have attention. A lot of progress is made quietly, and the kind of progress he’s talking about is going to have to happen in Congress and with our lawmakers in order to improve the things he’s talking about, or I think he’s talking about.


Obviously Whitlock has emptied so much blackness out of his brain to make room for the white parts that he has forgotten about the March on Washington, Tommie Smith and John Carlos, the sit-ins, the Freedom Riders, the Black Panthers’ displays of their weapons, the whole existence of Martin Luther King Jr., every speech written by Malcolm X and the history of the entire civil rights movement, which was geared toward showing America the injustice of discrimination. It was about bringing attention!

He wants Kaepernick to be quiet. Whitlock (or anyone else in the entire universe) can’t bring up a single incident in which America made drastic changes without attention and awareness first being brought to the situation, but Shitlock wasn’t done yet.


Abed told Whitlock that if a person is racist, then nothing Kaepernick does will change his or her mind. Whitlock responded by warning Abed not to call everyone who opposes Kaepernick racist. (Abed didn’t, but Whitlock successfully switched the argument from the racial injustice Kaepernick is protesting to an argument about how to protest racial injustice.)

When Abed commented that Kaepernick could never protest racism in America perfectly, shit just got weird.

This whole “Let’s take on racism in America.” That’s so big; that’s the equivalent of “Let’s fight air in the world.” Racial bigotry and unfairness along racial lines has been in the world since the beginning of time. It’s not going to go away. We’re trying to fix people’s feelings. And I don’t think what Kaepernick understands—and some other people don’t understand—is the 1960s were about changing, fixing laws. In America, you can address laws; you can’t legislate feelings—and it’s stupid! Because once you start legislating feelings, the next thing you know, they’re legislating my feelings, my father’s feelings. And it’s not the right thing to do. It can’t be done. It will lead to anarchy and rebellion. You can’t start legislating people’s feelings. And, again, many of my feelings are inappropriate. I don’t want them legislated against.


So let’s get this straight: Was Whitlock’s point that there is no need to fight injustice or police brutality because it has been here too long? Was he trying to say that we should allow racism because it’s just how people feel, so it’s cool?

To be clear, people address “feelings” all the time in America, but what Kaepernick is protesting has nothing to do with feelings. Police brutality is about training, confirmation bias and laws. The fact that a black person is 2.5 times more likely to be killed by police isn’t an emotion.


Ask Philando Castile’s brain matter if it splattered on a sidewalk because of feelings. I’m sure that Eric Garner felt like breathing. Rekia Boyd definitely didn’t feel like dying that day. And the juries and judges who let the men who killed these people walk away scot-free didn’t base their verdicts on feelings; they cited laws.

But Whitlock can’t concede any of these points because it would mean that somewhere in the universe, there exists a racist white person, and the simple thought of that gives Whitlock the same heebie-jeebies he feels when he is told to shuck less and jive more. Whitlock refuses to believe that there is anything holding black people from achieving their maximum whiteness, because if he—a dollop-shaped do boy—can make it onto Fox Sports by bravely overcoming a torn rotator cuff from throwing black people under the bus and the perpetual taste of white anus on his tongue, then all of black people’s barriers must be imagined.


Fuck Jason Whitlock and the poor, spine-injured horse he rode in on.

Listen to the entire conversation below (cued to start at 1:18:37):