You people are soft. First hint of frost on the air and you're all wearing four layers of snuggies to work and Ugg boots on your wobbly bits before lining up around the corner at The Dark Chocolatier for all the warm brownies and hot chocolates.

Well back off, wussies.

All your brownies are belong to me now. I earned them.

I'm writing this nude. On my deck. In the wind. Because I can. And just let me say… no shrinkage.