Of course he wanted to win. He's extremely competitive, driven by a desire to succeed and an equally powerful desire to watch others fail. He can only be a winner if someone else is a loser; his victory is void without a "lesser" person or entity against which he can juxtapose himself.

We know businessman Donald Trump wanted to win the presidential election, but does President Donald Trump actually want to be president?

Monday, The New York Times:

Cloistered in the White House, he now has little access to his fans and supporters — an important source of feedback and validation — and feels increasingly pinched by the pressures of the job and the constant presence of protests, one of the reasons he was forced to scrap a planned trip to Milwaukee last week. For a sense of what is happening outside, he watches cable, both at night and during the day — too much in the eyes of some aides — often offering a bitter play-by-play of critics like CNN's Don Lemon.

Today, Politico:

The president, who is obsessive about looks and appearance, even was unhappy with a Saturday Night Live parody of a Spicer briefing, partly because the combative press secretary was depicted by a female comedian, Melissa McCarthy. After it aired, Spicer had proposed cracking a joke about the send-up during his next briefing, or even firing a squirt gun, as McCarthy had done in the sketch. Trump vetoed the idea, according to one person briefed on the matter.

Today, AP:

While Trump has marveled at the history and beauty of his new home, "it's still government housing," said Christopher Ruddy, the CEO of Newsmax and a friend of the president's.

He's allegedly phoning non-experts in the middle of the night to ask basic questions, like do we want a strong dollar or weak dollar? He allegedly watches TV while he eats lunch. He refuses to give up his personal cell phone and his desk in the Oval Office is already a total mess. None of this behavior is particularly shocking if you followed his campaign. And yet...

Where is the quiet exhale?

The sheer awe and admiration of the awesome responsibility at his fingertips?

Why did his tone sound vaguely sarcastic while taking the oath of office?

Why, after amassing more power and influence than any other person on the planet, does he still seem so deeply insecure?

Getty Images

Last night, we only had to wait a few minutes for his response to the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals' decision to uphold the stay on his ill-conceived travel ban. But those minutes ticked by like hours.

There was palpable anxiety on Twitter, like a child waiting for an alcoholic father to come home. The kid may be watching TV in the living room, listening for the murmur of the engine as the car pulls into the driveway. The hair stands up on the back of his neck. He knows what's coming because he's seen it so many times before. He's hoping that this time will be different but somehow it's always the same. The man in power always comes with furious force, waiting to unleash his rage.

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SEE YOU IN COURT, THE SECURITY OF OUR NATION IS AT STAKE! — Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) February 9, 2017

And then you wait for the next time, and hope it won't be worse.

John Hendrickson Deputy Editor John Hendrickson is the Deputy Editor of Esquire.com, where he oversees the site's 24/7 news operation as well as all politics coverage.

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