You’re an a**hole. More specifically, you’re an a**hole on a road trip across the U.S. You’re hitting each National Park, one by one, and gradually getting more and more disappointed by how underdeveloped they are. “The closest Dennys is sixty miles away!?” you lament incredulously. Now, you’ve made it to Glacier National Park and lo and behold, you’re stuck in traffic.

RELATED: Three Rescued As Car Plunges Off Glacier’s “Going-To-The-Sun” Road

“There are way too many tourists here,” you murmur as your Tahoe idles in a long line of cars held up by construction. But, you’re a smart guy, and you light up as you eye the clubs sitting in the back of your car. You’ve seen the headlines: “Man Walks Across Protected Thermal Area In Yellowstone” and “Woman Drunkenly Free-Solo’s Mount Rushmore.” Any publicity is good publicity you think, and I could easily do better. So, you delicately caress a couple of golf balls in your hand, carefully place them on the edge of the roadway, and fire them off into the park.



We would now like to step in and advise against this behavior. Not only does this vandalize an ecosystem already stressed by an extremely large number of visitors, but it also sets a bad example for everyone who visits our parks. We are lucky to have access to such beautiful protected lands - and it is our job to keep them that way. Hey, guy who decided to use Glacier National Park as your personal driving range, here are some actual golf courses nearby. Check here, here, and here.