Even if he didn't share a name with the fictitious Keystone Light character, 27-year-old Keith Stone's drunken escapades would be worthy of ridicule and shame.

Eastlake police got a call around 4 a.m. Saturday of an "unknown intoxicated male" at a home. When they arrived, they found Stone, but more importantly, they found his car, which had been driven into a house. The concrete foundation cracked, the automobile resting on a patio against the siding, Stone claimed he had made a sharp turn too quickly.

That's not exactly what happened, though. Stone's BAC was .15 and his stupendously dangerous and stupid trek were detailed by the cops. Via the News-Herald:

Police estimated the car was traveling 60 mph to 70 mph in a 25 mph zone. It left a 105-foot skid mark on the street, went 21 feet across a lawn and across a sidewalk, went airborne for 21 feet, then after landing traveled 39 more feet and hit the maroon car and the house.

The police report did not specify Stone's choice of brew.