Last post about the Elle controversy. Raygun is hosting a .pdf of the pulled article and yeah, it’s really dickish. Excerpts and commentary below:

“I saw zero punk-rockers in Iowa, but punks and rednecks are so unalike that they’re almost exactly the same: broken teeth, broken boots, crude tattoos, profane belt buckles, interchangeable T-shirts.”

Any reasonable interpretation of this passage specifically shows that

1) Cintra never left the fair grounds.

2) She believes all Iowans are rednecks (and thus, all have bad teeth and fashion).

3) Though she expresses admiration for Iowan kindness, she also disdains it.

“The landscape suddenly rolled up the steel garage door on my soul and threw a beauty bomb into me that destroyed me. It was like an inward-moving tsunami that smashed noiselessly though my skin and owned me in such a way that I could feel the color inside my chest. Iowa was cheerfully absorbing my neurotic urban toxins and giving me a spontaneous color transfusion-so generously that it made me cry.” (On Iowa landscapes.)

… Wat.

Fuck! She’s complimented Iowa! Fix it quick!

“Eden has been through a rough patch, and she’s looking pretty spent these days… but she’s still under there. The pork has not been kind to her. She has suffered abuse and neglect and has been the victim of many bad perms and unfortunate tattoos.”

Ahh, that’s better.

Wait, there’s more!

“If we could get her to stop overplucking her eyebrows, wipe off that trashy makeup, and shuck off that drip-dry petroleum hooker dress, she’d still be the mother of all beauties.”

Yeah, she just called Iowa a hooker. Good show.

Now that I’ve ripped her article apart, I will admit that the ISF isn’t exactly the pinnacle of haute couture, but if Cintra has time to wander the fair and the hot-rod show in Jefferson, she can wander around downtown and see well-dressed professionals who are looking forward to the best time of the year when people-watching is a sport and casual clothing to beat the heat is almost a requirement.

Step off your high horse and actually meet some Iowans.