Gus Van Sant’s new film gets trashed while we end up partying with a drag queen and her ice cream on the beach

The weekend has arrived at Cannes and so have the hangovers. But the festival has no time for sore heads with a schedule that’s as busy on Saturday and Sunday as it is in the week.

The Croisette is increasingly difficult to walk down with a mad flurry of traffic, critics, fans desperate for tickets and people who could be famous if you squint a bit all jostling for space. Jam hour starts around 17:30 as the dirty, dirty normal people crowd along the Croissette to watch the starrier, richer, cleaner, better of the species climb a large flight of stairs into a conference hall. One day the crowds will swell to a size too big to hold. The barriers will break and the great unwashed will realise where all that space they’d been craving went. Do not be in Cannes when this happens. Their fury will know no bounds. ANYWAY...

The big film

Matthew McConaughey and Ken Watanabe in Sea of Trees. Photograph: PR

Yeah so about that boowatch. As mentioned before, the Cannes crowd can be a vocal bunch and if they don’t like your film, they will be happy to let you know. Last night, Gus Van Sant became the first unlucky director to see his film met with a cacophony of boos after his mystery drama Sea of Trees premiered at the festival. Van Sant, whose last well-received film was Milk in 2008, was hoping to share in star Matthew McConaughey’s McConaissance but the film crashed and burned with Peter Bradshaw doling out just one star, calling it “exasperatingly shallow”. Other critics were in agreement:

Nigel M. Smith (@nigelmfs) First loud boos of #Cannes2015 for Gus Van Sant's THE SEA OF TREES. Guy next to me was hissing as credits rolled.

Scott Foundas (@foundasonfilm) If Gus Van Sant's filmography can be divided, Scorsese-style, into "one for me, one for them," SEA OF TREES is one for nobody. #Cannes

olilyttelton (@olilyttelton) THE SEA OF TREES: I haven't seen every film that's played in competition at Cannes, so I can't definitively say this is the worst. #Cannes

It’s probably the worst of the festival so far but there’s a whole heckload of films still to come ...

Portman tows in her debut



Last year saw Ryan Gosling show off his muscles/pretentiousness with the premiere of Lost River, his shallow directorial debut that became the festival’s most booed film. This year, Natalie Portman has bravely decided to share her first time behind the camera with the Cannes lot and yesterday gave us all a chance to see whether she should stick to the day job or not.

A Tale of Love and Darkness review - Natalie Portman's love letter to Israel Read more

The reaction to A Tale of Love and Darkness, her adaptation of Israeli author Amos Oz’s autobiography, is reminiscent of how Angelina Jolie’s first film In the Land of Blood and Honey was received: respectable. No one is exactly raving but critics are quietly impressed with her debut. Andrew Pulver gave it three stars and called it “assured, heartfelt”. There were similar solid, if unspectacular, reactions across the board:

Robbie Collin (@robbiereviews) Natalie Portman breezily dodges Lost River-dom with the completely respectable (if v earnest) A Tale of Love and Darkness. Bah #Cannes2015

Magdalena Miedl (@mmiedl) Natalie Portman's A TALE OF LOVE AND DARKNESS is a play on words and stories, maybe too close to her heart but respectable debut #cannes2015

We’ll be speaking to Portman herself later in the fest to find out what all that respect feels like.

The stars

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Rachel Weisz at last night’s premiere of The Lobster. Photograph: Gisela Schober/Getty Images

There were two mega-premieres last night: for Yorgos Lanthimos’s darkly funny romance The Lobster and Woody Allen’s murderous comedy Irrational Man. And the stars were out in force. Colin Farrell and Rachel Weisz attended their film’s big do, while no less than Cheryl Fernandez-Versini graced Woody with her presence. We wonder what she made of Irrational Man? Does it have The X Factor? Our own Peter Bradshaw said no.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Cheryl Fernandez-Versini at the Premiere of Irrational Man last night. Photograph: Gisela Schober/Getty Images

The Netflix/Amazon Prime backlash

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Netflix Chief Content Officer Ted Sarandos, left, giving a talk yesterday. Photograph: Neilson Barnard/Getty Images

Some industry experts predicted that Netflix and Amazon Prime would go on a buying frenzy at this year’s market, snapping up titles to exclusively premiere online. While we’re still waiting for any big streaming purchases, there has been a small amount of backlash at this year’s festival. Yesterday saw Ted Sarandos, Netflix’s chief content officer, give a talk about the company’s plans which resulted in a rather awkward heckle from a French journalist. Sarandos was asked if he was aware that the Netflix model would “destroy the film ecosystem in Europe”. It’s a reference to the fact that, unlike other broadcasters, Netflix don’t contribute to European film subsidies. He was defended by Harvey Weinstein who grabbed the mic and called Netflix “a visionary company”.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Woody Allen at yesterday’s press conference for ‘Irrational Man. Photograph: Tristan Fewings / Pool/EPA

Elsewhere at the fest, Woody Allen referred to his decision to make a series for Amazon Prime as a “catastrophic mistake”. The director said: “I’m struggling with it at home. I never should have gotten into it. I thought it was going to be easy. You do a movie and it’s a big long thing; to do six half-hours you’d think would be a cinch. But it’s not: it’s very, very hard.” Catherine Shoard, who attended the press conference, referred to his tone as “a mix of irony and genuine anxiety”.

Asif Kapadia’s controversial Winehouse doc



Facebook Twitter Pinterest A clip from Asif Kapadia’s

It’s probably the film that’s gathered the most amount of pre-publicity before the festival kicked off and it’s likely to be in the headlines for most of the summer. It’s no real surprise given that the subject of Asif Kapadia’s latest film is tabloid favourite Amy Winehouse. Amy, which has just screened today, is a look at the troubled singer’s life from singing as a teen to her tragic death from alcohol poisoning at 27, and like Kapadia’s last film, Senna, it’s a hit with critics. Peter Bradshaw gave it five stars and called it “stunningly moving”. Others agreed:

While some questioned the need to re-tell Amy’s highly publicised story:

The film has angered the star’s father, Mitch, who told The Observer’s Emine Saner that Kapadia and co ought to feel ashamed of themselves. The film heavily implies that Mitch shared some culpability for his daughter’s decline. Mitch and Amy’s mum, Janis, were two of the 80 people Kapadia interviewed for the film, but the family have disassociated themselves from the project. Keep an eye out for Kapadia’s response.

The offbeat party

“I use my mouth for money” ... Willam at last night’s Magnum party. Photograph: PR

While, as previously mentioned, there are less big parties this year, there are still plenty of smaller bashes taking place throughout the festival. Last night, we made our way to a rather unlikely do, hosted by Magnum. The ice cream brand has dominated the fest and already seen ambassador Miranda Kerr nab some column inches by wearing a dress at a party or something. This more low-key event was to launch a new series of shorts, headed by Willam, a drag queen who gained fame on RuPaul’s Drag Race and roles on Nip/Tuck and Sex and the City. It meant free champagne and FREE ICE CREAM on the beach.

As is standard with these sorts of parties, you’re often surrounded by people curiously looking over your shoulder to see if there’s someone cooler to talk to, which usually wasn’t us. We did get a chance to speak to Willam herself, in the hope that she might fall into the classic “eager starlet will do anything to get noticed at Cannes” category but she was surprisingly un-Sean Youngy.

“I’m a novelty at best and I don’t think I could do anything more to impress than the actual stars like Lupita and Charlize,” she said. Her somewhat rocky past (“I’ve been to jail. It was called battery of a cohabitant but we’re not talking about that”) was smoothed over by a mixture of chocolate, ice cream and toppings. The oddity of the event highlighted the sheer variety of events happening in the town that might often have absolutely nothing to do with the actual festival.

In important news, I was told I would make a “medium” drag queen.

The classy yacht name

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Keeping it classy. Photograph: Catherine Shoard

Okay so unless it’s owned by the hip hop trio of the same name, it’s a no from us.

The selfie ban rule-breaker

Facebook Twitter Pinterest An eager fan takes a selfie with Woody Allen. Photograph: Regis Duvignau/Reuters

Our daily look at stars ignoring festival head Thierry Frémaux’s no selfie rule has unearthed a corker today with an enthusiastic fan forcing an extremely uninterested Woody Allen to burn the rule book.

The “wait, what?” film

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Millionaire Dog Photograph: PR

You know you’re in for a treat when the first-billed star is a dog called Cook. This terrifying concept imagines what a dog would do if he became super rich and from this manic trailer, it looks like the answer is: be a bit of a dick.

The future

Tonight sees the first screening for the much-anticipated Todd Haynes drama Carol, based on the Patricia Highsmith book and starring Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara as lovers in 50s America. A recent Blanchett Cannes trip brought us Blue Jasmine AKA the rare lesser-spotted half-decent modern Woody Allen film. Here’s hoping she can bring a similar magic to Haynes’s side.