NEW YORK—Hoping that it was just a matter of time for some sort of scandal to draw attention away from the recent controversy with China, sources reported Tuesday that NBA commissioner Adam Silver is waiting quietly for the NFL to fuck up and take some heat off. “I’m sure they have some domestic abuse allegations out there to bun gle and then we are in the clear,” said Silver, noting that the NFL officiating controversy seemed to have legs but still didn’t make a dent in the NBA’s recent negative coverage. “Maybe I can push someone to leak another damning study on concussions, because I don’t know how much more scrutiny we can take. Something like the Ray Lewis or Aaron Hernandez murders would be great. At the very least, someone could ask anybody in the NFL what they think about China. I’m sure they would forget about us in a second.” Silver added that as long as they kept their heads down and remained optimistic, next week might finally be the moment when a player dies on the field during a live NFL broadcast.

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