nnnyeah gurl

— A Buddhist monk has to save his son from a gang… but he isn’t one of those fighting monks so he resorts to exotic dancing to raise the ransom money… Strip Monk.

OH SHI-

— A man goes to sleep each night only to wake up on the basketball court, confused and praised by onlookers. He’s a pro, but only while asleep! Dunk Beds. (and Dunk Beds 2: Slamber party.)

— German scientist is trying to clone lemons. Accidentally becomes infused with Lemon DNA. Sour Kraut. Damnit, that one was shit.

— OK, how about this? Guy buys a rickshaw and sells coleslaw door to door. Calls his business Rick’s Slaw. Not the same as the others, but I like it.

— Also, check this out: Aliens were here on earth in ancient times just mining shit. They discover that there are dragons on earth and the miners keep dying, so they introduce a predatory species to fight them. Like mongoose fight snakes, humans fought the dragons. But then, because we were an invasive species that thrives in this environment, our populations exploded, we killed off the dragons and infested the planet while the aliens were gone rendering it useless to the aliens because we’d kill them too having advanced so far technologically.

— And then there’s Mexican Atlantis because I can’t get over that now. It really should be a thing.

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Previously by Alec Borchardt:

There’s No Such Thing As Priceless Artifacts, or, Why Lazlo Toth Might Not Be The Anti-Christ



Images by Sebastian Stevenson.

Alec Borchardt is an atheist, communist, idealist and a number of other ists. He sometimes laughs when you’re crying, but it doesn’t mean what you think. Look! He has a website. Go there and marvel at your feeble mortality.

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