All we can say is that the need for the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too has never been greater. At least the data below explains why the Chairsatan will soon monetize SAT scores and his infatuation with morer, greaterest QEternity+1...

And forward to the 1:00 mark for the big (small) unveiling...

(h/t @Not_Jim_Cramer)