My fellow progressive Australians, it seems most of us have fallen in love with a guy who is going to break our hearts.

Yes, I’m talking about the cool guy in the leather jacket, the one who has been sitting up the back of class, making cut-up comments about marriage equality and climate change, yet without being sent to the principal’s office. He’s a little dangerous and oh-so-enticing that most of us are willing to overlook his flaws (he’s a Liberal, for starters) just to get with him.

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I hate to say this so bluntly, but we need to face the fact that the bad boy really is bad for us.

I get that our relationship with the last guy was such a disaster. I get that this new fellow has been courting us for some time now. But, progressive Australia, the signs are there that this relationship will not end well for us.

While we’ve been smiling benignly and giving the pollsters a wink and a nod every time they call, this guy has been out there extolling “harsh but necessary” border protection polices, contemplating a 15% tax on everything, cutting family support payments, and hawking an unfunded and undefined child care package.

We thought he might play a game of Twister with us, contorting his government into new policy positions but it turns out his friend Christian Porter has instead started a game of snakes and ladders with the family tax benefit scheme, and grandparent carers and single parents are on the losing side.

It’s a great mystery in human relationships that we are often willing to cut the wrong guy some slack but harshly judge the right guy (or girl). The same goes in politics, even when the right guys are doing their best to give us progressives what we really want: a fairer Australia with opportunities for all.

Remember back, some time ago now, when some of us got angry over the introduction of Hecs and means testing, the removal of protectionist trade barriers, and the use of enterprise bargaining?

Or, even more recently, remember when some of us opposed the Malaysia Deal, despite the fact it would have delivered a far more humane refugee processing system than the one we have now? Turns out some of that outrage was misplaced – but where it is today? Are we all still glowing from a honeymoon-induced bliss?

I know this new guy says he shares our concern about climate change. Sure, he appointed a chief scientist who drives an electric car, but is he actually doing anything that shows he is committed to our cause? He hasn’t dumped the wind farm commissioner. He’s keeping his options open by leaving the legislation to close Arena on the table. He’s jetting off to Paris at the end of the month – without any of us – taking instead Greg Hunt (that one we always complain about) and his useless Direct Action policy. We’ll be left here, alone with his dull mate Warren to keep us company, while he’s off charming world leaders with his cool vibe.

Yes, some of us love that he loves public transport. It’s awesome that he is so rich and yet he still rides the bus, just like us, and tweets selfies too!

To which I say: we need to get a grip. He gave $95m to a tram line that was going to be built anyway. That’s not a turnaround in infrastructure funding policy; it’s a token, like a bouquet of roses purchased at the petrol station on the way home from work. The thought is nice, and no harm done, but a symbol of undying commitment it is not.

And I know he says he’s like us in that he supports same sex marriage, and many of us think that if we give him enough time, he’ll come through. Remember when he said, “This should be voted on by the parliament”? Then he fell into line with the plebiscite. Remember when he said, “I want this done before the next election”? Now he’s asking us to wait some more, probably after the next election, but no firm commitment yet.

We need to face the fact: he’s never going to leave his conservative partners for us. It’s time we brought this honeymoon to an end.