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OK, here's the deal: he's abusive and a rapist, i.e. a f*king criminal, and alcohol is NO excuse. You need to report the ar$e THIS INSTANT for abuse and rape and tell them the WHOLE story. Don't be ashamed, it's HE who needs to be ashamed and locked up. You say he didn't remember anything form the alcohol? I say that's BULLSH*T! He knew very well what he was doing and he's merely pretending otherwise (after all, alcohol makes you do what you really want to but which something prevents you from doing). Tell the cops that you no longer feel safe in his presence (because it isn't safe) and they should get the hint and arrest him. On a sidenote, do NOT tell the ar$e you're reporting him, because then he might prepare himself for what to say, get away with it clean, and then murder you. He is dangerous, and if you want to get out of this alive I suggest you report him NOW and while he's in custody file for divorce. Just divorce isn't enough, because again, if he decides to have revenge, that revenge will be too ghastly to discuss. But if he's locked up in prison for a umber of years, then he cannot do any more harm to you or others and you can peacefully move on and find someone who loves you and isn't a criminal. You deserve it, because you're far better than him. That's the deal! Good luck :) UPDATE: Oh, btw, get a protected identity and address as well, you never know what he might do after a long time in jail.