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There’s A Save Point Before The Halls Of Montezuma

Real heroes 100%ed without save points.

Fought invaders come from space

Used a trackball when he played

Flew an ostrich while he sat

He’s a gamer, and that’s that

Spent his money on E.T.

Found the red and then blue key

Though the princess wasn’t there

He still shot up the Metal Gear

He beat Gannon, he beat Bond

He beat Bison, beat Shao Khan

His thumbs are strong, he’s very fat

Cause he’s a gamer, and that’s that.

Yes, he’s a gamer, and that’s that.

Wear this shirt: to show you live your life according to a very strict code. Specifically one that starts with “up up down down”.

Don’t wear this shirt: if you’re one of those hippie anti-gamer pukes. You think you’d have those iPhones without the sacrifices gamers made? Your kind makes me sick.

This shirt tells the world: Kid, whatever you’re about to call my mother, I’ve already heard worse.

We call this color: Olive Them Say He’s The Only Man To Ever Shoot The Dog

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