Me and my new haircut and my Christmas tree that’s still up DON’T JUDGE ME

Hey! How are you?

*I got a haircut.*

Oh I’m fine, just trying to get some work done.

*With my new haircut.*

Just this freelance project I got.

*My hair is like, noticeably shorter than it was the last time I saw you.*

Thanks! Yeah, it’s great. I need the money!

*So I can eventually pay for more haircuts, like the one I got yesterday.*

Seriously! So what’s up with you?

*Have you seriously not noticed my haircut yet?*

That’s great! I really loved the last one.

*Almost as much as I love my new haircut, which you’ve yet to comment on.*

What’s this one about?

*Maybe my hair doesn’t seem that different to you, but it feels really different to me, asshole.*

Oh my God, that sounds amazing!

*Speaking of amazing: since I got this haircut, I feel like I lost 10 pounds.*

You’re kidding me! She’s the best, so talented.

*So, in lieu of you commenting on my haircut, I will also accept you saying I look like I’ve lost weight.*

Wow, I didn’t even realize you guys knew each other. What a dream team!

*Ugh, I’m being so nice to you right now and you still haven’t even noticed this dramatic change in my appearance.*

Really? I had no idea, but I’m not surprised. She’s super random but like, in a good way.

*He cut off like one and a half to two whole inches. That’s a lot! A drastic amount!*

Yeah, of course! I don’t want to keep you.

*But I do want you to fucking comment on my fucking haircut you piece of SHIT!*

Get to work so I can see the final product!

*Get out of my fucking face, Dave.*

Good luck! See you soon!

*Oh fuck — I always forget Dave’s blind.*