It’s sphincter leakin’ good!

It could be said that fish are a lot like bands. You have your headlining acts the produce a string of hits like The Rolling Stones (i.e. salmon), and your sophisticated, once-in-a-while tastes like Yngwie Malmsteem (red sea bream). And like the music scene, some acts are relegated to the underground because they are just too out-there for mass consumption.

In this way the Rare Fish Festival (Mezurashi Sakana Fest) is like the Rams Head Live stage of the Maryland Deathfest. And the headliner for this show is none other than… SKIIIILLLLLFIIIIISSSSHHHH!!!!

▼ Skilfish (Erilepis zonifer)

It’s a name that lends itself to this analogy so well I was compelled to try and make a death metal logo for it.

The skilfish is known among gourmands but very rarely eaten. To learn more about it, we decided to consult the Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare’s data sheet.

▼ “The meat is delicious but it is said that eating it results in oil leaking from the anus.”

Damn… That is pretty hardcore.

Normally, anal-leakage is a deal-breaker when choosing a meal. However, like with a punk show where the singer starts punching the faces of people in the audience, there’s still a certain temptation to go…just to see what it’s like.

Taking baby steps into this underground world of fish, we selected our reporter most accustomed to oily movements, Yuichiro Wasai, to attend the Rare Fish Festival in Shinagawa, Tokyo on 30 November.

Admission was a steep 6,500 yen (US$60) but included two free drinks, and Yuichiro was surprised to learn from an organizer that it still couldn’t turn a profit because of the rarity of its dishes.

Our investigative reporter looked around at some of the foods on display. First, there was the the Bering wolffish with a large head and jaws used to dine on shelled sea creatures.

Despite its vicious appearance, the white meat inside was very normal-tasting with a nicely firm texture.

Next, there was some kind of fish roe like mentaiko being grilled. The guy cooking it jokingly told Yuichiro he didn’t know what kind of fish it was from but heard from the fisherman not to worry and that it was “all good to go.”

Someone handed our reporter some deep-fried salmon shark. Despite the vicious-sounding name, it had a very mellow taste with a garlic seasoning that went really well with beer.

There was even a tank with some warasubo fish, known as the “aliens of the Airake Sea” for their grotesque appearance.

Unfortunately, these were so limited that only those selected by lottery were able to eat one. One winner graciously allowed Yuichiro a photo op with one, however.

Finally, it was time for the main event. The skilfish which was hung triumphantly in the venue took the stage and was carved up live in front of a hungry audience.

It was then cooked up and served to all who were willing to put their buttholes on the line for a taste.

Yuichiro prepared for whatever would come of this morsel of fish and braced himself for the bite.

However, it was very fine. It tasted so much like the premium fatty cut of tuna known as chu-toro, that he would have thought he had been slipped some of that by mistake had he not seen it carved up before his eyes.

Now, in answer to the burning question of whether his anus leaked oil or not: After a few nervous days Yuichiro could say unequivocally that no oil seeped from his bottom. And as the guy who previously told us everything about his cola-colored pee and time in a Parisian brothel, we’re quite sure he’s not being coy.

However, he still wouldn’t recommend skilfish to everyone. The Ministry must have issued that warning for a reason and while he didn’t succumb to its oily attack, an unclear number of others might. So, if a rare fish festival rolls into your town, take a little time to consider whether you want to enter that potentially greasy world or not.

Related link: Rare Fish Festival (this festival has already finished)

Photos ©SoraNews24

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[ Read in Japanese ]