FIFA, the money-printing outfit in Zurich that serves as soccer’s world governing body, said on Thursday that it “welcomes the fact that a degree of closure has been reached.”

Yes, at last, FIFA has closure, well-earned closure. You see, after widespread reports emerged suggesting that something funny was behind the 2018 and 2022 World Cup bids — awarded to Russia and Qatar — FIFA started an investigation. That investigation ultimately resulted in a 42-page report by the organization’s head ethics judge that basically said, shockingly: “Keep moving, folks. Nothing to see here.”

Somewhere in a dark corner of his lair in Switzerland, Sepp Blatter, the president of FIFA, had such a rollicking belly laugh that some change fell out of his deep pockets.

Maybe I’m being unfair. Maybe the bids were clean, and maybe an investigation paid for by the people being investigated is the most reliable means of uncovering corruption in one’s own backyard.