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2 "I Can't Be Racist, I Kind Of Know Some Minorities!"

Scott Taylor is a congressthing from Virginia who got caught up in the racist furor around Corey Stewart, a man who desperately misses the Confederacy. Taylor refused to distance himself from Stewart and fellow scumwader Paul Nehlen, but also claimed he can't be a racist because his son is named after a black guy. That's not shit I made up, that's shit this guy said. Out loud. In English. Around people.

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The various forms of "I have a black friend" never cease to be embarrassing. The chair of the Maine GOP equated black people voting with outright fraud -- he said there were dozens of black people voting on election day in 2012, and that must have been voter fraud, because no one in town knows that many black people. But don't worry, it's cool because he's not racist. He plays basketball every Sunday with a black guy. (Just between you and me, no he doesn't.)

In 2013, a GOP official from North Carolina had to resign after Aasif Mandvi interviewed him for The Daily Show and he went on a full-fledged roller coaster ride through Bigotville. Not only did this guy say the N-word, lament how black people can say it but he can't, and how he's been called a bigot before, but he also said that he supported voter suppression laws meant to hurt "lazy blacks." The fetid cherry on top of his asinine sundae was that yes, one of his best friends is black. (Just between you and me, no he's not.)

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Now, you can't talk about bad excuses for racist behavior without mentioning Donald Trump, who has a whole team of enablers trying to justify the things he says and does. But if you need a highlight from that shit show, look no further than Ed Martin, the former GOP official who came to Trump's aid on CNN by stating that Trump kisses black babies. Can't kiss a black baby if you're racist -- that's a fact printed on page one of the "I'm Not a Racist, But ..." handbook.