I'M SICK OF PAIN! Sick of crushing, aching, searing, cramping, stabbing, stiff, radiating, grinding, burning, tingling, constant pain. When I sit, stand, walk or lay in one position for too long. Headaches and migraines over half the month. PAIN ALL THE TIME!

But I can't ask a doctor for what I know works because everyone is in a panic about opioids. I am on the lowest possible dose. I get just enough for 4-6 hours of relief a day! God forbid I have a flare that makes it nearly impossible to move and lasts for days. It's not fair!

I want to go to church.

I want to go to my kids’ events

I want to be able to earn an income and be a functioning member of society

I want to not have my kids feel like they must take care of me. It's supposed to be the other way around!

I want to get well, but that's never going to happen. I must live with the fact that I am going to feel like crap on varying levels for the rest of my life.

Think about that. If someone told you that from this moment until the day you die you are going to be in pain, exhausted and unable to lead a normal life. That we don't know how to cure you or even if there is a cure. We aren't even sure what's wrong with you. We've tried everything and none of it has worked. Maybe it's all in your head.

How would that make you feel? Frustrated? Hopeless? Pissed? Sad?

And what if those same people who told you they don't fully understand your illness will not give you the one drug that gives you relief because "it's not an approved treatment for your diagnosis." They’ve already admitted knowing very little about it anyway!

What if they treated you like a drug addict because you asked for a medication that finally gives you some pain relief? I have no problem getting medication for my thyroid, insulin resistance, anemia, IBS or any of my other health issues. But God forbid I ask for treatment for chronic pain.

I don't take those meds to get high. I don't even understand how people do, they don't affect me that way. I take them to get some of my life back. Is my life worth anything to these doctors and politicians? I'm 38 and a hermit because of my pain and health issues. I've been sick for years and getting worse.

I want to make something clear. I'm not going to kill myself. I have my family to live for. Even when my life feels worthless, I think of them. But not every chronic pain paint has that because this illness causes isolation and hopelessness. And no, we aren't in pain because we are depressed. We are depressed because we are in pain. There is a difference, so please stop giving us antidepressants to use as pain meds!

Stop ignoring chronic pain patients. Some are at the point where they can't take the pain anymore and the doctors that could save their lives are too concerned with the opioid epidemic to help!

I hope to find a doctor someday that thinks my life is worth living.