MANILA – Seven years ago, Paula Salvosa became the target of bullying as a video of her berating a security guard at a train station circulated online.

And in 2019, she still feels the pain from the ordeal.

“Simula ng araw na ‘yun, hindi na ako nakatulog nang maayos,” recalled Salvosa, who was dubbed by netizens as the “Amalayer” girl because of her diction, in a video uploaded by the Facebook page of the upcoming film "John Denver Trending."

“So for two months hindi ako nakakatulog nang maayos… bumagsak ako ng mga hanggang 80 pounds. From 90 plus to 80 pounds,” she went on, becoming emotional. “I tried pumasok for like a day pero hindi ko kaya… nakatingin ‘yung mga tao tapos tatawanan ka nila.”

Salvosa said she started having panic attacks and had to consult a therapist, especially as her “Amalayer” image was hindering her efforts to get a job.

“Every time I applied for a job, napapasa ko lahat ng exams, ng interviews. Pero every time pagdating ng final interview, ang sasabihin lang nila, ‘Di ba ikaw ‘yung nasa viral video?’ That’s the time they’re going to tell me na, ‘Okay we’ll just call you back.’”

What hurt the most, Salvosa said, is that even some of her friends said she deserves to be bullied – despite the fact that they only saw one side of the story through the viral video.

It came to a point when she just wanted to get away from it all. In tears, she said: “Sabi ko pa kay Papa noon, ‘Puwede ba akong pumunta sa malayong, malayong, malayong lugar, ‘yung walang nakakakilala sa akin? Tapos puwede ba tayong bumili ng pangalan?’”

Salvosa continued: “Kasi nahihiya na ako sa pamilya ko, the disgrace that I brought to my family. Na parang they don’t deserve [na] ‘yung pangalan nila nasa tabloid. I didn’t really want to drag them. Kaya ‘yun ‘yung iniisip ko. It was so painful, parang ‘yung buong mundo mo binagsak sa ‘yo. Ang sakit, all I wanted was a second chance.”

Despite this, she found hope and strength in the very few people who believed in her, helping her heal and move forward.

Salvosa learned how to “acknowledge the pain” instead of repressing it, and later on had the opportunity to reconcile with the security guard in the viral video.

When asked what she has learned from her experience, she replied: “Don’t allow it to define you – because their words against you, they will never define you. And find your inner circle, your solid support system. Kasi kung sino man ‘yung mga taong ‘yon na makakapasok sa inner circle mo, they will understand. And those who understand will matter, and those who matter will always understand.”

“Let’s not strip off those people na nagba-viral of chances, ‘wag nating tanggalan ng pagiging tao. Hindi lang sila basta news, tao rin kami. May nararamdaman din kami. May mali kami pero I do think everybody deserves a second chance because nobody is beyond redemption,” she ended.