You need to do what your heart is telling you to do. If marrying this man is more important that keeping the peace with your family, then you should do it and hope that your family will get on board gradually. A parent's love for his or her child is stronger than their disapproval of that child's choices.

On the other hand, make quite sure that this man is very much worth the family trauma marrying him will cause. Ask yourself these questions;

1) Are you in the "first blush" of the relationship? If you haven't been together for very long it is possible that your attachment will fade. In this case, give yourself a long engagement rather than a fast wedding. 2) Can you really deal with living for he rest of your life in the role you are playing right now? Are you passive in the relationship right now? Do you ever feel uncomfortable in that position? Would he be flexible and grow with any changes that may develop in your personality over the years?

3) Do you approve of the way he and his father treat his mother? This is a very good indication of how you will also be treated after a long marriage.

4) Does he say ugly things or behave rudely to your own family? If he harbors a lack of respect for your family, those feelings can leach into his behavior towards you.

5) Have you both discussed important issues? How will birthdays/holidays be dealt with? Will there be children planned? What religion will those children be raised in? Who will be responsible for the money in the family, for being primary caregiver for any children? These are questions that are best hashed out BEFORE the wedding takes place!

If you can ask yourself these questions honestly and still feel comfortable and connected with your man, he is probably worth the unpleasantness between your family and yourself. If you are uncomfortable with even one answer, you may want to seek some serious counseling.

And remember, as I said, your family may well come around in time. They want what is best for you, if your man can prove he is the best for you, they will be happy.