As if the story of Russell Taylor – former head of former Subway spokesman Jared Fogle’s charitable foundation – wasn’t bizarre enough, it turns out that he was allegedly deeply involved with the key players of an international “Spice” ring that operated out of central Indiana, a ring that was brought down by authorities last year.

Taylor – who currently sits in federal prison on child pornography charges, like his buddy Jared – was apparently good friends with former Hendricks County sheriff’s deputy Jason Woods, who is facing 6 felony counts that include dealing “synthetic marijuana” and providing protection for shipments related to the Spice ring. His payment (bribe) included trips to Las Vegas and other locales.

Woods and Taylor were both friends with Irvington Bible Baptist Church Pastor Robert Jaynes, who spent over $1 million to purchase the ingredients needed to make synthetic marijuana, ingredients that came from as far away as China. Jaynes is reportedly trying to broker some sort of plea deal with authorities at this time.

Traveling further down this winding road, we find Taylor and Woods allegedly doing Spice and bath salts together and Taylor admitting he was into the swinging lifestyle, something the salts apparently helped out. Wood’s wife – also formerly an employee of the Sheriff’s Department – says her husband was duped into helping the drug ring by Pastor Jaynes, who had his brother-in-law involved as well.

Have you had enough yet? Wait, there’s more! Enter Doug Sloan, an Indiana business man and former Libertarian Party candidate for State Senate, who was friends with both Jaynes and Deputy Woods. Sloan is currently under federal indictment and has admitted to introducing Pastor Jaynes to the synthetic drug business. Sloan was also allegedly a drug-using/strip club buddy with Deputy Woods, his wife and Russell Taylor.

All parties are currently in some form of the criminal justice system, with a former partner of Sloan’s even considering an insanity defense after leaving a threatening voice mail for his pretrial officer.

So, what can we learn from this story? Several things in fact: don’t do bath salts or so called “synthetic marijuana” unless you want to seriously screw up your brain, certainly don’t create an international drug trafficking ring unless you want to go to prison, don’t use your taxpayer-funded job to be the muscle for said trafficking ring and above all else, if you have an idea for some or all of these things, write a TV show treatment about them instead of carrying them out in real life.

While consuming bath salts and synthetic drugs can kill you or send you to prison, winning an Emmy Award is very unlikely to.