… At least according to YouTube’s new transcription service.

On it’s own, this is a fine interview with Steven Moffat, the new show runner for Doctor Who. The BBC will be starting a new season with a new Doctor in a couple of weeks and yadda, yadda because everybody knows THAT already.

But if you go to the YouTube page proper, click the little “CC” button at the bottom of the frame and activate the “Transcribe Audio” feature, you will find yourself privy to a whole mess of previously unknown info about the Timelord’s upcoming travels. It’s amazing the stuff this software can dig up. YouTube should just take the Transcribe function out of Beta right now and inflict it upon the unsuspecting world!

I’ve got the whole transcript after the break, but here are a few of my favorite quotes.

As the transcript warns us, please be advised that this report does contain some touched the phone.

Matt Smith talks to a reporter about his new responsibilities: Reporter : That, of course, means that the new man in the Taiwanese men’s expectations are high and that he’s got some pretty big shoes to fill in the series goes on there. So how does he feel about falling on from someone like and the tenants?

So it’s apparently a new day at the BBC. They’re considering the world market and the expectations of Taiwanese men.

Moffat: I think that one of the things we haven’t seen that the on that my home of many months, but it’s at the Yale way when dust storms and absolutely nothing was a really really exciting.

This year, the program will be influenced by Ivy League colleges and will be dull as dirt. A challenging approach!

And there’s this telling nugget about Matt Smith’s unusual performance as the Doctor:

Moffat: Well, I wasn’t was not going to be like? Gorgeous. That’s the. I’ve seen so many at this is not on the matter what you want but I right now am not a commodity that needs to be amazing. What’s he like? These are some of the evidence shall know ID is that is the best way to describe not. Use that he’s both clumsy and garlic and at the same time . And we maintain a gripping story lines? Just you wait and see! And dying to get back down to that dumb things we could I’ve just seen, but the dollar is up to them I’m worried!

Female Anchor: On toward substance police, can you give us about what max make these gangs the night, and how do you maintain add that is the current King story lines in the wake of a fifty day that?

You wouldn’t have expected the Dow Jones to have much impact on a new series of Doctor Who, but you’d be wrong, apparently. Moffat is worried about the dollar and doesn’t consider himself to be an amazing commodity.

Anyway, there’s lots of gems like this buried in the transcript below.

This is a direct copy of YouTube’s automatic transcription of the BBC clip. I took a little liberty with the punctuation and capitalization, but otherwise, I kept it intact. Enjoy!

Female Anchor: And more excitement now, the EU with serious doubts it is starring, that Smith had its wealth friend and confidant last night.

Male Anchor: His, I think that’s one reason is in the wind, don’t see how the youngest and adults in his companion they getting along. His report does contain some touched the phone.*

Reporter: Yeah, Mexican counted and I think little, with a fist, he says will be shown to dozens of journalists. No question, you know, but soon the comedians will be sitting down to make that mind up about the new bill.

Reporter (interviewing Matt Smith): That, of course, means that the new man in the Taiwanese men’s expectations are high and that he’s got some pretty big shoes to fill in the series goes on there. So how does he feel about falling on from someone like and the tenants?

Matt Smith: That is very prudent thing. That’s interesting, but you know what she’s talking about in two thousand six and in online sending in arms comes to children, and that’s where the to. It’s not something that worries me a little forces the pitch in in any way.

(CLIP: The Doctor faces the TARDIS)

The Doctor: All right.

Reporter: No no. Thank you.

Karen Gillan: And I have always understood the importance of the relationship. What do you think that there is that, or it may be that I mean it’s hard to analyze it yourself, but and maybe it’s part from when we have when we first audition together through, and I was just sort of continued about that.

Reporter: Well, million people watched delegates and Clinton at least doctor, and see what we can to maintain Clinton’s the series has achieved since its inception the screen since two thousand two following.

(CLIP: Young Amy talks to the Doctor)

Amy: I have not the books.

The Doctor: It’s a pledge.

Reporter: The new series called of the house and you took that and companion. The bill so a new had myself, and when it does have to teach the fortitude to be taken to find out what companies income tax. The sun is about because he’s talk about that.

Female Anchor: Well, then you would need rights and isn’t it the case if that’s the case even if that choice now. From kind of very good morning, Steve. When I must admit that I had recommended last night saying the trendy act, and how did you feel and the audience that fair is stated that I can’t?

Steven Moffat: I’ve they seem to know that. I think that one of the things we haven’t seen that the on that my home of many months, but it’s at the yale way when dust storms and absolutely nothing was a really really exciting.

Male Anchor: The economy is vital to the reason, you must know this, is it kind of the fall although to is unveiled the needle to. You know what I stand for people so that night, only companies that is lost when it would be in a, in my view, would be that. And then when you help anyone on, I was just thinking that what, in this brief cuts, I was thinking if he is actually write again. Did you get that the, you know what I’m talking about?

Steven Moffat: The hostility, and the one you should be worried when they got to change. In addition to these are problems that and easy for you, because this is what does that mean. That the back and go through the you know. The fact that he becomes a stranger than half a million, nothing has been no movement, yet I think really on the stand reviewing all my didn’t come out. I like the talked to representatives the balkans. It was kind of scary. You didn’t win.Female Anchor: Do delegates seated sagging US take away and the region erase it, does that and that’s the main at he sits. On toward substance police, can you give us about what max make these gangs the night, and how do you maintain add that is the current King story lines in the wake of a fifty day that?

Steven Moffat: Well, I wasn’t was not going to be like? Gorgeous. That’s the. I’ve seen so many at this is not on the matter what you want but I right now am not a commodity that needs to be amazing. What’s he like? These are some of the evidence shall know ID is that is the best way to describe not. Use that he’s both clumsy and garlic and at the same time. And we maintain a gripping story lines? Just you wait and see! And dying to get back down to that dumb things we could I’ve just seen, but the dollar is up to them I’m worried!Male Anchor: I mean, anybody that said trevor recovery. Because I, am I right in saying that you were responsible for the epicenter the don’t see you, but this case that she’s had that everyone the those into, my kids included, found genuinely frightened?

Steven Moffat: We’ll do that, and you said was responsible for that, and I’m sure that I am. That should know about the such a little bit of a statement that that giliotti. I know it’d that, yes, he was blinking and that upset and those skinny that Jesus did warn you and your children, and on the way back in that way with this country.Female Anchor: Since carries that he’s going back, God is coming back, we tell that the thought to be favorites can we be seen last week grappling with?

Steven Moffat: Well, soon you’ll see in grappling with out with a study, the end that I mean you can jump at least time without a visa. The particular reason for wanting to take over the US on that. And then you know it’s just too.Male Anchor: This isn’t that the whole thing with of that, the you get a sense of the production and even involved at that time before that. The if that’s what you will have great fun making summit some things that you get, you get that feeling from a pregnant.

Steven Moffat: That’s, I mean, how could you do what happened if you don’t help fund the condition of that ice? You visit, he’s do you find it is things, these things, and everything I’ve ever done was not coming thing and he was an adult I’ve got to all life.Female Anchor: Yeah, that must be defined. In fact we’ve got killed in Chile coming on this one, because he make it as well, but same tactic. I don’t think that’s anything. I mean, what at my rights and thinking of ten witnesses we intend for the film?

Steven Moffat: Yes, I did some weapons concluding that the instrument the Jackson of, yes. That’s it. You cannot prove that that the to take over the family.Female Anchor: I can just tell us about how much fun, that wasn’t even fascinated by Clinton, for I don’t think my not?

Steven Moffat: Yes, well, I always love to talk about the that starting with the consent of the invasion, and many are finding the be even better books. Lives involved in anything, cause it to be standing up on the same stage as big as the infield, and I’m going to inject some. I’m talking to them an honorary and actually I think I don’t think it’s going to be beautiful. I think it’s going to be strawberry accounts of anonymity. It’s going to be permitted.Male Anchor: Says he will Indian Ocean the … sorry, I wasn’t writing a book. If you go to Seattle to lost, either spend it for the rest of us, willing to get sick?

Steven Moffat: I’m very very soon. Tracy, I wondering if you concerned about that. That’s a nice Iraq good chance of that what was raised that.Male Anchor: It’s over the Easter weekend. I think I’ve got a job his morning.

Steven Moffat: It’ll affect bassett! A perfect her their get.Male Anchor: Get back to that. Is we thank you very much taken time out for us this morning.

Female Anchor: As I said, nothing we can do that. Times wait. They despair. Well, that’s tonight at political analyst.