News, views and top stories in your inbox. Don't miss our must-read newsletter Sign up Thank you for subscribing We have more newsletters Show me See our privacy notice Invalid Email

A heartbroken mother whose son killed himself a year ago has opened up about her anguish - and encouraged other teens to speak to people if they are hurting.

Kate McLoughlin, from Melbourne, unexpectedly lost her handsome, popular 19-year-old son Zachary to suicide in March last year.

She had seen him in the kitchen that afternoon. He had asked what was for dinner before heading out of the house, telling his mum he was going to play basketball with a friend.

Hours later, police turned up at the house to inform Kate her son had taken his own life.

Zach had written a suicide note on his phone in which he expressed love for his ex-girlfriend, encouraged his brothers to chase his dreams and thanked his parents for his 'beautiful upbringing'.

He then bid them all goodbye, saying this world "wasn't for him". Kate will never know why.

There were no clues. No signs. She says she didn't know it was coming until the police knocked on her door.

(Image: Facebook/Kate McLoughlin)

Zach had watched a friend lose his life to bone cancer, after which two of his friends killed themselves.

Following Zach's death, another friend in their circle also took their own life.

One year on from the tragedy, Kate has shared a heartbreaking post on her Facebook page explaining her anguish the night he was found and asking other young people not to use suicide as an option.

She said: "My world was turned on its head the night I answered the door to police.

"The shock, trauma, disbelief and anguish of that night flashes through my mind when I least expect it.

"The sadness I feel fills me so completely that sometimes it spills from my eyes without warning and often overwhelms me until the sobbing leaves me wrapped around the toilet bowl.

"To keep a lid on this is exhausting. I can forget names and faces of people I've known for years. I don't feel like the 'complete me' anymore.

(Image: Facebook/Kate McLoughlin)

"This is only some of the devastation left behind by Zach's hidden, yet overwhelming, despair and his clouded misconception that we were all better off without him."

She describes how she wishes she could turn back time, adding: "How I wish he'd called instead of writing a suicide note. I wish he'd called a mate...there are so many of you!

"I wish he'd just reached out to someone and found the help he needed."

In another post in February she said: "I ache, every minute, to look into your lively eyes and to hear your joy-filled voice.

"Every fibre of me is filled with sadness now that you're not here.

"I wish you could have seen yourself through my eyes, and so many others, to understand just how loved and important you were. You have left such a gaping hole."

Last year the brave mum wept at his funeral as she gave a similarly poignant speech asking people to talk about their problems and never consider that suicide is even an option.

Addressing the mourners, she said: "We are here today because of a choice that Zach made. A bad choice. A choice that followed many smaller bad choices he'd made that had left him feeling helpless and with no other way out.

"He had financial problems and he chose to end his life to solve them.

"You may now say that he is at peace, but how could Zach, knowing all of you here today are struggling to comprehend and cope with his death, be at peace?

"In choosing to try and escape his problems through suicide, he has left heartbreak, devastation, pain and confusion."

"There is always help. Always."

Speaking to her son's friends and fighting back tears, she said: "Talk to each other, talk to your parents, talk to your teachers, talk to your doctor, talk to me."

She ended her post with a plea to other teens and young people to find someone to talk to, telling them to pick up the phone and use it to save their lives and imploring them not to give up.

"The pain you feel now will subside. The source of my pain will only subside when I can again hold Zachary in my arms. This option is no longer mine."

If you need to talk to someone or are affected by any of the issues in this article, you can call the Samaritans helpline at any time on 116 123 from the UK or Republic of Ireland.

If you're in Australia, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.