Huh, well—according to a new *USA Today/*Gallup survey, Rick Santorum polls better nationally than Barack Obama. “Santorum beats Mr. Obama 49 percent to 46 percent, the poll shows, while [Mitt] Romney ties with the president at 47 percent,” CBS News reports. “In a survey of voters in 12 swing states . . . Santorum’s lead against Mr. Obama widens. He beats the president 50 percent to 45 percent.” Meanwhile, in Michigan, Santorum leads the poorly spoken former Massachusetts governor by two percent. At last, an answer to the question of whether the Santorum candidacy is ludicrous in a hilarious way, or ludicrous in a terrifying way—albeit, a wholly unsatisfying one.

As of press time, Newt Gingrich is still ludicrous in a hilarious way.