SHE is a mother, the heartbeat, and that earns her the right to ask her question.

She called this week when debate was at its greatest. When there was great emotion behind a recall of the shoulder charge and the few sane voices out there were being drowned out by argument based on emotion; often the short-term winner.

“It’s not fair, Paul,” she said. “The NRL frustrates me. They’re not looking after all the players.

“Because he is big, it is OK to do it to him?”

Like everybody, Kalala Kasiano watched last weekend’s game when Kane Evans pulled off a shoulder charge on Sam Kasiano.

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media_camera Sam Kasiano is floored by a shoulder charge by Kane Evans.

But she didn’t rise and cheer like everybody.

No, she is Sam’s mum, and instead she heard everybody justify the tackle because Sam is so big and, obviously, built to handle it, and of course nothing was ever going to happen to Sam like it did six weeks ago when James Ackerman, who also happened to be a big man playing in the front row in the Queensland Cup, was killed by a shoulder charge that in the old days would have been perfectly legal.

Frustrated and disappointed, she listened to the debate until she finally had enough, and so she picked up the phone and asked a question for the game:

“Why is it OK to do it on my boy?”

She heard what everybody said. How they explained it was OK for Evans to drive his shoulder into her son because he was such a big man.

Of course, Kasiano has been a victim of reverse bullying his whole life. Give it to the big kid, because he can handle it.

And so a mother’s heart breaks.

It is a question nobody should have an answer for.

Kasiano is, in many ways, the cliche. The gentle giant.

“My son doesn’t say much,” Kalala said. “He’s only a 24-year-old big person. Give him a break. He isn’t going to be the last big person that’s going to come around.”

She felt powerless in the debate, the one where she believes her son’s own welfare was ignored as those defending their positions argued there was nothing wrong with the tackle because it was on a big man like Kasiano.

“He’s so shy,” she said. “But I’ve had enough. I don’t want him to play anymore. I’ve got another son who is just starting to play and I don’t want him to play, either.”

I ask if she has spoken to Sam.

“I spoke to him last night ... he feels quite let down but he said to me, ‘Mum, what can I do? It’s what the man at the top decided to do’.”

She was frustrated at the time, a voice cloaked in hurt.

As the week wore on, it seemed the game finally listened.

Despite those thousands of games of experience calling for the shoulder charge’s reintroduction, declaring the game wants it and other unsubstantiated claims, the NRL listened to the ­intelligence.

No place at all for the shoulder charge in the game @NRL. The rules will tighten such that if you put a hit on you'll be on the sideline — Dave Smith (@DaveSmithNRL) August 6, 2015

It started on Thursday when NRL boss Dave Smith tweeted: “No place at all for the shoulder charge in the game @NRL. The rules will tighten such that if you put a hit on you’ll be on the sideline.”

The flaw in the NRL’s crackdown of the shoulder charge, why Evans could not be charged to send the message, was the wording of the rule.

“The way the rule is written in the judiciary code, in the current model, is that you have to have forceful contact with the head or make or create whiplash and, on that occasion, given the size of the defender being Sam Kasiano, the match review panel deemed that wasn’t the case,” NRL head of football, Todd Greenberg, told the Triple M Grill Team on Friday morning.

“But I’ve got to say to you ... immediately, we’re looking at that because clearly the rules must evolve to the same principles that we want to achieve, which is, we don’t want the shoulder charge in full stop.”

Finally, Kasiano’s size is no longer deemed an acceptable risk. The rule was changed on Friday.

So they are listening, Mrs Kasiano.

media_camera Sam Kasiano is shoulder charged by Kane Evans.

It is now up to the NRL to educate the wider NRL nation. And it starts with the commentators, some of the strongest supporters of the shoulder charge, waking up and getting on board.

It is time they looked at the evidence, how the players are taller and heavier, and faster for longer.

How every player now wears GPS trackers between their shoulder blades, so G-forces can be accurately measured, and of which the data is frightening.

It is all this information that forced the NRL to ban it in the first place, despite the emotional arguments to bring it back.

Here, most say the game is getting soft. They remind me of those people you see at the fights, booing a fighter as he covers up in the corner, calling him a dog from the safety of their seats.

The game does not move forward with those people. It goes forward with the quiet strength of the intelligent.

With the resolve of those who are right. With the warmth of mothers.

JUST ANSWER THE QUESTION — Chris Carman:Fight promoter, matchmaker ... potential saviour

You’ve got a big fight night on at North Sydney Leagues Club tonight, it’s been a long time since that’s happened.

Kerry Foley is defending his Australian light-heavyweight title against Joel Casey, and Tej Pratap Singh is fighting Faris Chevalier for the vacant Australian super-middleweight title. Jake Carr is also pursuing the Commonwealth title.

It sounds like an old-fashioned fight card, with Australian and Commonwealth titles being spoken about.

The idea behind it is to really push the Australian titles over the regional titles. We’re going to put on a lot of fights over the next year.

media_camera Kerry Foley at Manly Fight Gym in preparation to defend his Australian Light Heavyweight title. Picture: Braden Fastier.

Why the focus on the traditional way?

It has been eroded and we want to fix that. You can buy a regional title for four grand and fight an Indonesian who has lost his last six fights. Here, we have the National Boxing Federation which has ratings and we won’t be putting on mismatches.

Will that fix boxing?

The UK is currently experiencing a renaissance in boxing and that’s because they put an emphasis back on British titles and the road to Commonwealth and European titles, rather than going down the route of the WBA, IBF and WBC regional titles.

Why does that work?

You can focus on being the best. Not one of the best.

A GOOD WEEK FOR

THE power balance is shifting in world swimming, with the US powerhouse no longer what they once were. The hidden bonus for Australia a year out from the Olympics is that heading into Friday night’s day six program at the World Championships the Aussies are looking strong for Rio. While third on the medal tally behind Great Britain and the US, Australia zoomed to top of the list when non-Olympic events were discounted.

A ROUGH WEEK FOR

DAYS after declaring his innocence in an interview, with his lawyer and agent present, Andrew Fifita expressed “remorse and regret”, according to Sharks CEO Lyall Gorman, when accepting his six-match ban for abusing a junior referee a few weeks ago. What’s wrong in this is Fifita made his claim under the guise of “due process”. Avoid delays, the NRL and clubs must quicken these processes.

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DON’T MISS

LAST week I went off after early acceptances and tipped you into the Ashes (GEM 7.30pm), only for it to be all over in three days. The good news is that Saturday’s is day three of the third, must-win Test at Trent Bridge, leaving plenty of cricket to be played before the match is determined. Or so you’d think. The bad news is that after day one, anything is possible tonight. It’s must-see TV, car crash or not.