My name is Michael Joseph Carter. I was born February 1st 1985. I’m from Central Connecticut. I was detained at Logan River Academy for 13 months, being August 1st 2001 until august 31st 2002. Prior to being admitted into Logan River Academy, I had never been evaluated by a psychologist or psychiatrist. I was taking no prescription medication other than prescribed to me for my allergies. I had been on no special directives or special education. While I wasn’t excelling in school, I was not a delinquent. I attended school despite being tossed around to various different high schools and middle schools, due to my father’s disarray in his own lifestyle. During my time in Utah I had a blatant refusal to conform to the program rules. The LDS religion was repeatedly put on me by my therapist and by my unit staff. My “unit staff”, which basically consists of BYU students in various degrees of repression and resentment. They were…they were sadistic. They push the religion on us and they lashed out against us physically.

During my stay most if it was spent in what is known as “development”. Development is a room that at the time I was there, before they had built the school building, was on the third floor on the south half building. There were maybe two dozen desks. Six desks facing forward. While you were in development you were to face forward. You were not to speak. Every 30 minutes we’re given a break. So on the 25 minute structure, you were given a five-minute break. If there were 25 people, 24 people in development and you had to use the restroom, you best have your hand up in the first three when they call break—because you weren’t going to use it until the next break. If you spoke, you were given another “infraction” equaling more time. If you looked at another person, in any other way other than straight ahead, or down at your books, you were given an infraction, equaling more time. If you talked about any religion other than the LDS religion, if you talked about home, if you had any insubordination toward any of the staff members (and we’re talking speaking of it, we’re not talking acting out), you got different infractions. If you said anything bad about the LDS Church, about the facility, about Larry Carter, you’re given more infractions. Mostly for insubordination, or whatever the fuck they made up. And that was the best of it. That was the best you can hope for, would be to sit in solitary confinement for weeks, for months, months straight, without talking to people.

“Outside structure” – run laps to, you know, to be compliant with your outside exercise machine. Whatever the hell made them happy or compliant in their own eyes. If you acted out though, it was called “taking a chair”– where you would be forced to sit Indian style against the wall for extended periods of time. I remember one instance—his name was Alex. He lives in upstate New York. I won’t use his last name, out of respect. I haven’t asked his permission. He was crying, he was visibly upset. He was 14 years old and he was on a “chair use” calling out for his mother or something. The staff would tackle him and put his head into the wall and just belittle him. And I mean, as if being Indian style as all your peers were marched by, like something in the gulag. If the humiliation wasn’t bad enough, you had to be abused, physically abused. Restraints were doled out unnecessarily. Not mechanical restraints, but they were attacking you. You know, we had a couple of guys who were BYU football players. A fourteen-year-old child is suffering from addiction problems, or whatever problems they have at home, to have four football players, linebackers, tackle a 14 year old. These are college kids. It got out of hand—I mean a lot of people got hurt. And then the worst of it was “observation”. Observation, (I think they call it, call it something else now), but they put you in a room, a little room. No doors, no windows, you were to sit there. You weren’t allowed to talk, you weren’t allowed to move. If you did any of those things, you would get more time. And there were various reasons that would go out. If you are in development, and you just simply refused and said fuck this, you’d go to observation. You’d be tackled, put on a chair, and if they didn’t like you, cause there was favoritism, you would absolutely he put in observation. And that was the worst because they would take your clothing. You would sit there in your underwear sometimes, on full display for anyone see. I can’t explain to you what that’s like, to be 14, 15 years old to have to endure that. You know, I’d like to think there was a sense of camaraderie. There wasn’t. You know in schools you’ve got the clicks, where you’ve got the jocks and the nerds. And we had all of that, we had we had people from all walks of life. We were all banded together because it was just so out of line. It was so unacceptable to be a part of. Just to belittlement, forget about the physical abuse, you know. At least in the boys unit, I can’t speak for anyone on unit one or two. Mind you this is in 2001 and 2002. I agree that the entire layout has changed. But on the boys unit, there was a lot of a belittlement. You know, you can write it off as tough love. But tough love is tough love. Tough love isn’t just pure insults, and shame, and constant fear if you do anything wrong, anything to offend anybody, you would just be forced to sit in a room, alone, for an undetermined amount of time. They’d say, okay, you received a class two infraction, you’re going up there for four hours. But when you’re up there, if the guy had a bad day before, the administrator, the developmental staff, he didn’t like you, and he’d point you out for doing nothing at all, you’d be up there for days. You’d be sleeping up there. You’d be up there for months—alone, secluded, isolated, and there was nothing you can do. There are no access to phones. You cannot reach out to friends, family, other than structured monitored phone calls once a week with your therapist present, who does in fact filter the call. You’re under constant fear of getting infractions and spending more time, if you were to just burst out and to say look, this is what’s happening. It is controlled. Everything is regulated. And the long-term effects are quite damaging. I was fortunate enough to just say “fuck the system”, pardon my language, we can edit that out. But I took a lot of the brunt of it and I didn’t care.

If I had to do it all over again I would have stood up for myself. And long after my release, it affected me for a really long time. The exposure you have two drugs, to just a nefarious way of life…it’s astounding. I can’t imagine how these places are still in business. I can’t wrap my head around how they are allowed to operate legally. They are completely money-driven. Have no previous psychological evaluation in a negative or a positive, any effect. I was still forced to see a therapist. I was still conditioned to believe that I was somehow in the wrong because I didn’t like my father. Because he got into my trust fund and spent all of my money on a house in a jeep and had me shipped away for the cost of seventy three thousand dollars so my own money for my own incarceration, with no foundation for me to be there. It’s damaging. And to see so many kids… David from Michigan. I watched him chew the skin of his feet, just to get medical attention, just to get out at the facility. Just to have the opportunity to just–I don’t know what his motivation was. Dave wasn’t a messed up guy. Dave wasn’t loose in the head. Dave was terrified you know, a place like that makes you suicidal. I’m a collected, educated, productive member of society now, today with no credit going to Logan River. And you know I specifically recall on the day I left, I was asked by Katie Bem, she still works there I believe, my therapist, she asked me if I believed Logan helped me in any way, and you know I think that was the first jaw dropping experience up my life. I couldn’t believe she asked me the question and expected me to take it seriously. I don’t know, there’s more to come. Stay tuned.

For more information on Michael Carter and other survivors and what you can do to prevent further abuse at Logan River Academy: Visit the Shutdown Logan River Academy website.