Interviewed: Johann Sebastian Bach

Interviewer: Doctor Semmelman

Foreword: This interview takes place following J.S. Bach being met by Foundation agents and informed of the anomaly centered around him.

<Begin Log, 6/25/17██>

Dr. Semmelman: Thank you for agreeing to be interviewed, and may I say it is a great honor, Mr. Bach.

J.S. Bach: Yes, you all have made that abundantly clear. I'm not certain I quite understand why, but nonetheless I thank you for these revelations. God's universe is truly quite strange.

Dr. Semmelman: Have you given any thought to our offer? A mind like yours is not common, and we know we could put it to use.

J.S. Bach: I have indeed given it more thought. And looking at some of the things you've presented, I believe I'm aware of why you need me.

Dr. Semmelman: You… are?

J.S. Bach: I was looking at the materials you provided to introduce me to your Foundation, and what struck me were the… how did you refer to them? Memetics, was it?

Dr. Semmelman: Yes, our memetic agents. They are quite important to our operations.

J.S. Bach: Yes, yes, yes. However, for something you claim to be of such great import, they seem to me to be quite lacking.

Dr. Semmelman: Lacking?

J.S. Bach: How can you not see what is so plain? It's like you churned them out en masse from a printing press. There is no fine-tuning to them! For God's sake, it's like I'm arguing with Pastor Frohne all over again!

Dr. Semmelman: Could you elaborate on that?

J.S. Bach: You request that I elaborate. But this is, in and of itself, the issue. You hear me speak but do not listen. How can you hope to make powerful Music when you only read the sheets, having no passion for the sound?

Dr. Semmelman: No passion?

J.S. Bach: Simply put - which, by the way, is the problem - your so-called "memetics" are too simple! It's like a sheet of music filled with bars meant for harmonization, yet you've only composed the melody! You see things in black and white, but you don't see all the things that could exist between those bars of black and white. You are dealing with the transfer of information here - information that, by all accounts, has tremendous power! It must travel the bridge of perception, yet you make the bridge out of two wooden planks dropped over a gap! You should be making a bridge of stone!

Dr. Semmelman: Well then, Mr. Bach, could you do better? Could you build us a better bridge with your compositions?

J.S. Bach: I most certainly could. Music is the greatest form of communication. Only the Words of God could ever surpass Music. I will show you.

Dr. Semmelman: Johann Sebastian Bach, welcome to the SCP Foundation.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: Following the interview, J.S. Bach agreed to compose musical memetics for the Foundation. Dr. Semmelman will remain as the designated Foundation liaison in the 18th century and ensure that all Memetic Works of Bach are catalogued and stored for retrieval in the present time.