If you’ve been online at all over the past week or so, amidst the revenge porn and the doxing you’ve probably noticed some ongoing drama surrounding Lena Dunham and something called a "Lamby." And being a well-adjusted person who doesn't immediately dive down every internet rabbit hole you see thanks to a mixture of curiosity and self-loathing, you probably have only the faintest idea of what anyone is talking about. Don't worry. I'm here to fix that.

Friend, you have missed out on a saga for the ages—a sprawling, convoluted bildungsroman full of intrigue and betrayal. First and foremost, Lamby is Lena Dunham's rescue dog. (Or rather, Lamby was Lena Dunham's rescue dog. More on that shortly.) As you well know, the internet loves dogs. The internet, however, does not necessarily love Lena Dunham. Then there's that whole social-media-posts-might-seem-like-transient-thoughts-but-actually-never-really-go-away thing. Stir those phenomena together—dogs, a lightning rod, and receipts—and you’ve got the perfect recipe for a social-media debacle the likes of which are all too rare.

From the beginning, at least according to Lena Dunham, Lamby was a problem; Dunham wrote about the dog's various (alleged) neuroses in a New Yorker essay back in March of 2013. Then, late in June, she revealed that she'd given Lamby up to a canine rehabilitation facility in Los Angeles. Last week, though, the shelter where Dunham had originally adopted Lamby (BARC Shelter in Brooklyn) countered many of the claims she'd made. This, in turn, was followed by an onslaught of counter claims from various parties—almost all of which took place on Twitter and Instagram.

The question of what actually happened while Lamby was in Dunham's care continues to loom large. Fortunately for us, Dunham is a prolific and candid user of social media. All a person has to do—admittedly, a sick, irrationally curious person—is comb back through the Lamby Years and put together the pieces.

Lambygate Unfolds

On June 21, in the year of our Lord 2017, Lena Dunham uploaded a photo of Lamby to Instagram for the first time in more than six months. This photo was accompanied by a lengthy explanation of Lamby's recent absence.

An excerpt of Dunham's post: