While there, Q falls asleep, but the Enterprise is bathed in a bright light which appears to be some kind of scan. The scan focuses on Q, then disappears. Picard heads to talk to Q, and eventually gives in to his pleas that he be allowed to make himself useful. He assigns Data to be Q’s babysitter, and the pair head down to Engineering to try and figure out how to move the moon.

Soon, in engineering, Geordi, Data and Q are trying to figure out how to solve their problem, but Q can’t concentrate because he’s having a back spasm. Dr Crusher comes to fix it personally (because no job is too small for the chief of medicine!) and irritated by his pain, Q forgets humans don’t have his former powers and suggests Geordi just change the gravity of the area. Luckily, this leads Geordi to an actual solution involving things like warp fields and recalibration.

After experiencing hunger, Data takes Q to Ten-Forward where he bumps into Guinan. Sadly, she doesn’t do her kung-fu hand guard this time, but she does stab Q with a fork to check that he’s not joking. Once again (and for the final time ever) Q alludes to Guinan being a mysterious figure he’s dealt with before. Er, you’ll have to make up your own backstory there.

While Q sulks, he is suddenly attacked by a glowing white light. It’s an alien cloud called The Calamarain who Q has tortured in the past. After the Enterprise repels it, Picard realises the only reason Q came to the Enterprise is because they’re the only ones who’ll protect him from his many enemies, all of whom will eventually hear on the space-grapevine that he’s now mortal.

As the Enterprise attempts to move the moon with Q’s assistance, the Calamarain attacks Q again. He’s only saved by the intervention of Data, who is injured in the attack. It also interrupts their attempt to fix the moon’s orbit. Riker points out that they can’t save the planet AND protect Q. Meanwhile, Q himself is feeling like a coward because he wouldn’t have done what Data did. Realising he’d rather be dead than a cowardly, disliked human, he steals a shuttlecraft and attempts to give himself up to the Calamarain (who sadly look nothing like squid).