Oh my God — I’m so full I could pop right now! I can’t believe I ate so much. I couldn’t possibly eat another thing. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to eat another thing again as long as I live!

What’s that you have there? A brisket taco? Wow, that sounds amazing. I mean, I’m so full but I don’t know when I’ll have another opportunity to eat a brisket taco at this restaurant that’s exactly three blocks away from my apartment. Maybe I’ll order one — just one. I don’t even have to finish it, I’ll just take a couple of bites.

Oh wow, this is incredible. I can’t believe I ate the whole thing! But it was worth it, I’ll tell you that. Totally worth it. No matter how uncomfortable I am right now, no matter how much I feel like I’m going to puke, it was worth it. No one will notice if I unbutton my pants, right?

Wait — they have ice cream here? I had no idea they had ice cream! That sounds really good right now, even though I couldn’t possibly fit a single other thing in my body — not even a dick! JK. Maybe I’ll just have a bite of yours, if that’s OK? Oh wow, that’s good. It’s amazing. I’ll just get a scoop. One or two scoops.

I can’t believe I just ate three scoops of ice cream on top of anything else! I’m going to explode. Do you think anyone will care if I just lie down under the table for a minute? I know the waiter’s trying to get us to leave, but people can use the table, I’ll just be underneath it, with my pants unbuttoned, groaning.

Holy shit — you can get that brisket on nachos here? I’ve got to try that! Anyone want to split them with me?