In an effort to demonstrate objection to formula retail stores like Jack Spade popping up in the Mission, former mayoral candidate Chicken John Rinaldi (who once vowed to barf on food vendors in Dolores Park) and supporters have planned to masturbate to climax in front the proposed store on 16th Street this coming Friday night.

"We promise to jack off until we fill the streets with semen!" Chicken John exclaimed in a press release, noting that it could be "the world’s largest masturbatory action to end gentrification...an ocean of male semen could help wash away the sin of gentrification once and for all."

The protest is being billed as "Jack Off 16th Street." The neighborhood (at least the tony 16th Street and Valencia section of it) has seen an influx of well-to-do tech types and artisan boutiques sprout up over the last few years, paving the way for more high-end stores to encroach on the area.

Jack Spade, set to rent the former Adobe Bookshop storefront at 3166 - 16th Street, met continued opposition on Wednesday night after a debate at City Hall erupted over whether or not Jack Spade is even technically a chain store. Still, the neighborhood really doesn't want them to open in the area, but for whatever reason the men's bag store remains vigilant.

Regarding last night's hearing, Mission Local has more:

In a decisive victory for the group opposing Jack Spade’s arrival on 16th Street, the Board of Appeals voted Wednesday to rehear an earlier appeal that failed after it ended in a split vote. This means that the group of Valencia merchants opposing Jack Spade will have one more opportunity on December 12 to argue why the luxury retailer should be considered a chain store and thus undergo a stricter approval process

Friday's protest will certainly up the ante of Castro's comparatively tame nude protests of 2012. Stay tuned.

Update: We hear that the protest won't be nearly as fun as promised. Basically, it's going to be a bunch of people dressed as sailors. Get it? You get it.

Update II: Jack Spade won't open in the Mission! ""[We're] not going to war with the neighbors. We like those people and their neighborhood and we are not fighting the issue. There are many a fine location for Jack Spade. Peace to the city!" 5th and Pacific CEO Bill McComb wrote to SFBG.



Previously: Mission Merchants Continue Campaign Against Jack Spade

Jack Spade Cleared For 16th Street (For Now)

Final Death Knell Tolls for Adobe Bookshop