Currently, businesses are shuttered, people are staying at home, some cities are in lockdown, the number of infected cases are surging, and the virus is disproportionately affecting black Americans and the poor. All of us, to varying degrees, are feeling the relentless pounding of this pandemic. There is no shame or weakness in asking for help. Text a friend for some toilet paper. Initiate a Zoom session with family and tell them you need to vent. If you’re in a vulnerable group, accept neighbors’ offers to shop or pick up your medication. Difficult times bring out the best in people, and you’ll be amazed, as we were, to see the enthusiasm and generosity with which many come to your aid.

Give up on normal

Our lives were hijacked. My wife, who was pregnant with our third child, spent her time attached to Nusayba, our brave warrior princess, who spent most of the year in and out of hospitals. I stayed at home with my son, trying to create some semblance of a normal life. But there is no “normal” with cancer.

We quickly learned that the disease had no regard for our work-life balance, our bucket lists, our Netflix queues, or our savings. Unlike so many Americans, we were at least lucky to have insurance. Each time we felt we’d established a rhythm, cancer disrupted us with an unforeseen bleed, low white blood cell count, or an allergic reaction to medication.

Similarly, this pandemic doesn’t care about your plans. It’s playing for all the marbles. As we try to flatten the curve and develop a vaccine, we can mourn our previous life, but we must let go of any expectation about when things will get back to “normal.”