The US airport security chief pleaded with Thanksgiving travelers to not boycott full-body scans this Wednesday, warning that would only “tie up people who want to go home and see their loved ones.”

“Just one or two recalcitrant passengers at an airport is all it takes to cause huge delays. It doesn’t take much to mess things up anyway.”

… We interrupt this blog post for an important NEWS FLASH:

The nation’s air transportation system has been brought to its knees today, causing a cascade of delays at all major airports and leaving hundreds of thousands of travelers stranded. Taking credit for this insidious act of terrorism was the Islamic Recalcitrant Army (IRA), who in turn credited the TSA itself for giving them the original idea.

According to an unnamed IRA source:

We had no idea how fragile the US air transportation system really was. We have been foolishly using suicide bombers for missions, but now we know that it only takes one or two IRA members to completely shut down any airport, and maybe a few hundred to cripple the entire system and cause millions of dollars of damage to the great Satan’s economy. And recruiting people to be recalcitrant is so much easier than for suicide missions — we’ve had to turn jihadists away who aren’t even Islamic!