Ashbless asked: “How do I fake it as a good servant?”

I love playing butlers, servants, factotums and assistants. It seems odd that you’d be “working” for someone else all weekend, but I recommend trying it at least once. There are lots of variants - you might be “below stairs” staff in a Victorian household, or a personal Jeeves, or a senior slave in an Ancient World setting.

Photo by Oliver Facey, from Insurrection LRP.

This advice is mostly geared for the situation where you have a single person who is “your boss” more than any other. It’s most appropriate for butlers, valets, body slaves and personal assistants. Like the 2IC post, there’s no reason to follow all the advice in this post; if you want to play an incompetent or rubbish servant, go ahead and subvert it!

1. ALL THE RIGHT FRIENDS IN ALL THE RIGHT PLACES

The very fact that you’re playing a servant (or slave, factotum, whatever) means you’re playing in a system with some sort of class divide. That means that you can go places your boss/master/employer (who I shall call ‘principal’ from here on) can’t go. Go there whenever you can, make contacts, and become part of the serving class mafia. If there isn’t a serving class mafia, create one and install yourself as its don!

Use your contacts to your principal’s benefit. Never openly admit they exist. Your principal should never know why everything is just a bit easier everywhere they go, and why everyone is always so terribly *nice* to them. The servant is the world’s natural spy - if you’re doing your job right, people will say things in front of you they’d never reveal to your principal.

2. CERTAINLY MADAM

That is your default answer to anything. “Certainly, sir”, “Certainly, madam”. Don’t even stop to think about it. Unreasonable request? “Certainly, madam.” Dangerous demand? “Certainly, sir.” Physical impossibility? “Certainly, madam.” You say it without even thinking. If it genuinely looks like you can’t manage it, you qualify it with “I’ll see what we can do”, “We shall of course make the attempt”, but your attitude should ALWAYS be that it CAN be done, you WILL get it done, and such trivialities as the laws of physics are NOT things with which to bother your principal.

Photo by Oliver Facey, from Clockwork Watch.



3. I HAVE ONE RIGHT HERE

Keep a grab-bag of items that may be of use in your buttling career. Depending on the LARP context, you may want to keep your profile sleek, so be in a state of constant kit redesign between events - keep the essentials and lose the chaff. Make a note of what you use and what you don’t, consult these notes when packing for the next game.

As a starter for ten, my “base butler kit” across most systems includes:

Corkscrew



Pocketknife



LARP knife



Bootlace



Teaspoon



Timepiece



Fakeblood



Handkerchief/rag



Paper & pen



Matches



IC drinking vessel

Think about what your principal might need or want in a hurry. You gain more “butler points” by producing something unlikely at the exact moment of requirement, so think ahead and plan accordingly. Principal is consecrating a shrine to dark gods? Pack chalk, incense, 2cc of mouse blood. Principal is wooing object of affection? Get one of those fabric roses that packs down real small and tuck it in a sleeve. Principal is going to war? Pack an extra bottle of water, metal polish, and more bootlaces to tie their armour together. Of course they’ll probably remember it all themselves and you’ll probably not need it - but it’s all worth it for that moment they panic and you appear behind them with a soothing murmur of “Incense, madam…?”

Photo from Tales Out Of Anchor.

4. DON’T MAKE A FUSS

Your failures will be noticed, but your successes should be silent. When you produce that corkscrew out of nowhere, do it with an air of quiet gravitas and competence, not a flourish. When you murmur in your principal’s ear that your eavesdropping has successfully revealed the identity of the Marquis de Crestwick’s secret lover, you pass it on in the same tone you might tell them the bus timetable, not with a note of triumph.

You are understated, smooth as a swan. You don’t flap, panic or celebrate. The most emotion you ever showed anyone “above stairs” was that you once said “Very good, madam” with something approaching an actual smile on your face.

In games with a servant community, it can be fun to be a COMPLETELY different beast “below stairs”. Run around flapping, or shout, or simply shrug off the tailcoat and slouch in the chair swearing at everything.

Photo by Oliver Facey, from Clockwork Watch.



5. LET ME CHECK MY NOTES

You can do a good simulation of an excellent memory by keeping an extensive logbook of names, faces, your principal’s appointments, dance cards and to-do lists. Don’t update this in public if you can avoid it - in private, with or without your principal, is fine. If you use unflattering mnemonics to help you remember people (“Ugly shirt”, “Terrible eyeliner”) it makes it even funnier if the book is stolen!

This is a good plan trick for bartenders and “service industry” characters too.

Photo by Oliver Facey, from Clockwork Watch.



6. WHERE’S THE FUN?

You’re not the hero….

This is not a great role for people who love being centre stage. It fits perfectly those who are a little shyer, or who want to play being a little shyer. It’s also great for people who are not very self-starting (or, like me, who ARE very self-starting in real life but want to relax and leave all that behind!) and want someone else’s goals to fulfil IC. Relax into following someone else’s path for a change and enjoy the fact you don’t need to take initiative!

Photo by Oliver Facey, from Odyssey LARP.



….But you’re the hero

Your character is Jeeves; everyone downstairs on Downton Abbey; the one who can be blisteringly competent while their principal loudly fucks up, and fix it without anyone ever being the wiser. If you ever wanted a chance to really test your social game, think on your feet and push yourself, get a thick, arrogant or socially inept character for a principal, make your core IC goal “don’t let them look stupid in public”, and go play.

Eminence Gris

If you ever wanted to be underestimated, now’s your chance. In ancient Rome and Egypt, the slaves of powerful people often had significantly more political power than lower-ranking free citizens. This role is a recipe for getting shit done without getting noticed - you’ll have a headstart on your more obvious rivals.

Posca, Nicholas Woodeson’s character in Rome, is Julius Caesar’s body slave and has significant political influence over his master’s decisions.

Forms of Address

Wording is really important here. What you call your boss needs to be comfortable for both of you OC, because if you’re not totally secure in it, it’ll sound false and odd. Most of us don’t go about calling people “Sir” or “Boss” or “M'lady” or “Young Master” in real life. Don’t feel shy about practising it a bit so it sounds fluid. Say it more often when you’ve fucked up or are about to fuck up…

Photo by Charlotte Moss, from Odyssey LARP.



Terms of Service

If your character is a servant, under what terms could they be dismissed? Could they resign? If they’re a slave, do they have the option to buy themselves out? Discuss this with the principal in advance so you know what your absolute end of the line might be.

Their Turn

Much like the tip in “How to Noble”, if you’re serving the tea and fetching footstools all weekend, you may want an agreement whereby they do the lion’s share of the tent pitching, or do your washing up, or a similar exchange of OC services. It can help prevent resentment on one side and guilt or the other. Or you may just be perfectly happy pouring someone’s wine all weekend, which is fine too.

Photo from The Forgotten, by Tom Garnett.

Physical Stress

Classic servant business (serving at table, pouring drinks, fetching and carrying) can be a very physical and very tiring activity. You may really enjoy the challenge of being on the move for hours at a time; but be prepared for the challenge and come up with coping mechanisms. If you have a disability which makes moving or standing still difficult, you should think carefully about IC obligation your character design; and your fellow LARPers can and should help you ensure that your OC abilities and the IC expectations on your character aren’t in conflict.

Photo by Tom Garnett, from Odyssey LARP.