OSSINING, NY—After actually admitting to other human beings that she spent the previous night watching the entirety of the Golden Globe Awards on television, local accounting manager Sophie Rhodes announced on Monday that actress Jodie Foster had embarrassed herself. “I love Jodie Foster, but to be honest, her Lifetime Achievement speech was pretty painful to watch,” Rhodes declared before offering, without any apparent shame, her opinions on the night’s hottest red carpet looks, nominees in the Best Actress in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture made for Television category, and other aspects of the three-hour-long ceremony hosted by the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. “It’s hard to believe she got up there in front of all those people and rambled on like that. It’s like she had no awareness of how she was coming off at all.” After explaining that she “expected a little more taste and class” from Jodie Foster, Rhodes told reporters she was glad a number of commenters on TMZ.com agreed with her assessment.

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