When Amy Stevens* was rejected for a job because she was "too positive, open and friendly", she knew that adjusting to life in Denmark would be tough.

Stevens, from Auckland, had applied for a job as the Australasian territory manager for a vacuum company and, with 15 years experience in similar roles in New Zealand and Australia, knew she was qualified. But it soon became clear the chances of a traditional Danish company hiring her were slim to none.

"Danes generally do not want foreigners in their country," she says. "At times, [Denmark] is archaic. The banking system is super old-fashioned compared to New Zealand, the health system is terrifyingly bad and it is certainly not welcoming to foreigners."



Stevens' story does not sit well with common conceptions of Scandinavian countries as bastions of social democracy. Mention Scandinavia and an image tends to form in my mind of a handsome couple hunkered down in their understatedly stylish apartment as the falling snow beyond the triple-glazed windows turns the world outside into a winter wonderland. When the sun finally rises, they'll ride their bikes to well-paid jobs where the ethos really is "work smarter not harder". Or, if it's the weekend, decamp to the countryside where they'll ski across a glossy white landscape dotted with pines and cosy-looking log cabins in uniform red.



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ISTOCK In Norway, people tend to fall into line and not challenge the status quo, according to Kiwi Gregory Coombes.

If they're new parents in Sweden, they'll make the most of the 480 days of combined parental leave and enjoy fika (essentially smoko with pastries) with other open-minded mums and dads, safe in the knowledge that if something does happen to little Jonas, he'll be entitled to free medical care. No need to save for his tertiary education either for that too will be complimentary.

For now though, they're content to sit back, relax and catch up on the latest Scandi TV noir to send shockwaves worldwide or warm up with a schnapps in the sauna. Only the likely side of pickled herring doesn't appeal.

Sure it's a highly stereotypical image but I'm far from the only one with a rose-tinted view of life in Denmark, Norway, Sweden and fellow Nordic countries Iceland and Finland, which continually place highly in global rankings of everything from happiness and governance to gender equality and work-life balance. Norway topped the UN's 2017 list of the world's happiest countries, while Denmark came in at number two, Iceland at three, Finland at five and Sweden at 10.



The authors of the report on the rankings noted that the five Nordic nations all placed higher than the US, which sat at number 14, despite having lower GDPs per capita. "The explanation is that the Nordic countries far outpace the US on personal freedom, social support and lower corruption…" All but Sweden also placed ahead of New Zealand, which came it at number eight.

SUPPLIED 'The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo', both the movie and the novel by Swede Stieg Larsson on which it was based, typify the dark Scandi noir genre.

But it's not only such studies that have contributed to the international love affair with Scandinavia in recent years, often referred to as Scandimania. The Nordic penchant for producing addictive TV dramas with kickass female leads (The Killing, Borgen and The Bridge) and kickstarting trends in everything from fashion and food to furniture has also played a big part. And then there's Ikea.

And yet New Zealanders living in Scandinavia say it's far from the utopia it's often cracked up to be, with some saying the excellent social welfare is balanced out - or outweighed - by excessive bureaucracy and locals who make it hard, if not impossible, for them to feel at home there.

Despite having EU nationality when she moved to Denmark in 2012, which made certain administrative tasks easier, Stevens, who preferred not to be named, says she found settling in "tough, really tough".



"Danes in offices where you need to apply for social security and tax numbers are incredibly unhelpful and hostile. They will just bark the same text that appears on the website at you rather than answer your questions or be of any assistance."



Stevens says it was "critical" she had sorted an apartment through Danish family members before she arrived as it is "almost impossible to find a reasonable long-term rental accommodation and, due to the general hostility toward foreigners here, even more difficult for a non-Dane".

SUPPLIED Sofia Helin and Kim Bodnia, stars of 'The Bridge', one of the Scandi TV noirs to have enthralled audiences around the globe.

Denmark's Andelsbolig system, essentially cooperative housing, means very few Danes rent, with many parents putting their children's names down on waiting lists to buy apartments as soon as they are born.

While this makes home ownership affordable for Danes - it is relatively common for school leavers to own apartments - the resulting scarcity of rentals makes finding accommodation a nightmare for foreigners.

"The rental housing market here is an absolute racket and unfortunately the foreigners are very much exploited. Deposits are paid in good faith and, from what I hear from the expat community that I know here, are never paid back once you terminate the tenancy agreement."



Stevens eventually found work in "customer success" in what she describes as Denmark's thriving tech startup community. While her first job came to an abrupt end after three months when the company failed to win funding, she was "quickly snapped up by another company that scaled so fast it is now one of Denmark's... most successful tech companies."



Stevens believes she has a much higher standard of living than she would have had in New Zealand, with higher disposable income. She also feels considerably less stressed than she did back home - but she's had to adapt to the local way of life and mindset.

IKEA Scandinavia is famed for its simple yet stylish interior design.

"After living with the Danes, I feel like I have become more like them: more analytic and less emotional. I now find Kiwis very hard work, very emotional, always interfering in each other's lives and stressing about things they have no power to influence. ."

Stevens managed to buy a "beautiful period apartment" in central Copenhagen after two years in the city and says "cheap" mortgage repayments have enabled her to pay off a third of her home loan in four years.

She loves the cleanliness of the cities and towns, "wonderful" public transport, lack of crime, subsidised services for children, "world-class" parental leave, and that Danes "know how to handle themselves when interacting and become very alarmed at any conflict whatsoever". She says they are also extraordinarily trusting - if you make an insurance claim after a car crash, Danes will generally take you at your word if you say you're not at fault - and, once you get past their "seemingly impenetrable icy shell", are intensely loyal friends.

THE DOMINION POST Even in the biggest cities, such as Denmark's Copenhagen, it can be tough to get to know locals well, Kiwis say.

Bureaucracy aside, she says the downsides to living there include the "scarily bad" health system and the "shocking" customer service she believes stems from Danes' reluctance to complain.

In her view, the worst thing about life in Denmark is the "open racism" which means she often hears co-workers making derogatory remarks about immigrants. She says there is a considerable pay disparity between Danes and non-Danes - "the exploitation by some companies in that respect is appalling."

Of all the challenges she has faced since moving there, Stevens says forming friendships with Danes has been the most difficult.



"Social occasions were very, very isolating. No one makes any effort to talk to or involve you and if you take the initiative to strike up a conversation, it results in people looking at you like you have three heads and then turning their back on you ."

SUPPLIED Scandinavians are known for their innovative design and generally forward thinking, but Coombes says living there can be isolating and the harsh climate is a continual challenge.

Now she has learnt the language, she has made friends and is happy there but would advise other Kiwis against moving to Denmark unless they have a strong local connection through family, a relationship or work.

Gregory Coombes, who moved to Norway in 1987 after meeting his Norwegian wife-to-be, found settling in comparatively easy. Originally from the Waikato, he'd secured a job with a local company beforehand (he is a coach painter by trade) and had his partner and her family to lean on. However, he too has struggled to get to know people - something he attributes partially to Norwegians knowing little about Kiwis and therefore being somewhat wary of them.

"My wife worked roster and it was very lonely the first couple of years before we started a family. I also came in October so it was a harsh introduction to the cold and darkness. My wife had friends in Horten but being included by their partners was a tough nut that I did not crack."



Coombes, who now speaks near-fluent Norwegian, believes there is a lot to be gained from living in such a well run country, pointing to its innovative technology sector, low unemployment and good health and education systems.



He enjoys the outdoorsy culture and is grateful to have enjoyed a high level of job security, a good income, had the opportunity to complete a degree in sociology free of charge and benefit from the social welfare system after contracting Lyme disease.

123RF The general consensus among Kiwis Stuff spoke to seems to be that Scandinavia is far from the earthly paradise many think.

Living by the sea about an hour from Oslo, he says life is very relaxed - much like Cambridge was during his childhood in the 1960s. However, he too complains about the bureaucracy and general reluctance to challenge the status quo - as well as the harsh climate.

"Norwegians are not that keen on you complaining. This is a society of harmony: individuals who like the quiet life. Asking too many questions is counter productive...

"The social challenges you can overcome to a degree but four months of dark and cold are unchangeable. You more or less say goodbye to the neighbour in October and see them again in April."



He also senses that, despite having brought up three children in the country and paid taxes there for 30 years, his foreigner status means he will never be fully accepted as a local. Naturally inquisitive, he has strived to learn about and immerse himself in the culture but wonders how much he has benefited from doing so.



"It has not made me more acceptable as far as moving up the ladder [at work]… Norway is sceptical toward foreigners and, especially in the government and local councils, they do not like to be challenged."

BENT RAANES Several of the Kiwis Stuff spoke to highlighted the family-friendly policies in Scandinavia, including generous parental leave and free healthcare for kids.

Dunedinite Gary Fraser, who owns a business in Sweden, says Kiwis will inevitably experience culture shock moving there, no matter their reasons.

"Swedes think and approach things differently than we do in New Zealand and it's not just about learning the language, but also about learning the concepts of their behaviour before you truly start fitting in."

Like Stevens, he complains of excessive red tape, describing authorities' decision making as "robotic".

123RF Coombes says raising his children in rural Norway has enabled them to have a similar childhood to his own in the Waikato in the 1960s.

However, he believes the social system is far superior to New Zealand's, noting that tertiary study is free. While students do take out loans for living costs, the interest rates are much lower (0.13-0.3 per cent), meaning most have a realistic chance of paying them off within 10 to 15 years, he says.

For the most, the Kiwis Stuff spoke to were of the view that, while certainly not a utopia, Scandinavia can offer an excellent lifestyle and opportunities not available in New Zealand -if you can put up with the bureaucracy and are prepared to compromise.

Wayne Phillips, who is originally from Otorohanga and has lived in Norway for 35 years, summed it up well in saying it's a "fantastic place to live. Yes, I miss New Zealand at times but I chose to come here and because of that you adapt, suck up what you may not like… and get on with it. If not, you know where New Zealand is. But gosh I am looking forward to my trip home next month."

* Not her real name.

Are you a Kiwi in a Scandinavian country? What was your experience? Email us at travel@stuff.co.nz.

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