What follows is the original text of my post to the long-lost original Bronze, edited for (some) clarity and formatting concerns, with annotations and links.

Whenever I want you,

All I have to do

Is dream…

Sorry.

Allow me to apologize for taking up your time like this, but we knew that explicating and deconstructing “ Restless ” was going to be a monstrously huge task; that it would, most likely, keep us busy all summer. And I just haven’t been able to get it out of my head. I’m obsessing. The Spouse, who’s also a Buffy fan (just not quite so demented), is starting to get those understandably annoyed looks whenever I start a conversation with “You know, I wonder why, in Giles’s dream—” which I’ve been doing, arguably, entirely too much. (And not just with Giles’s dream, either. Quiet, you.) I had to try and control this, somehow. Get it down. Out of my system.

Crikey, do I fervently hate Joss and co. now.

(Actually, that’s not true. I just want their jobs. Or a job just like theirs. How about it, guys? I don’t eat much, I don’t take up that much space, and I’m ever so much fun to be with…)

I won’t go so far as Closet Buffyholic (with whom I apparently share a nebulous bond) and rank this as the Best. Episode. Ever—it’s pretty crowded up there, what with “ When She Was Bad ,” “ Passion ,” “ I Only Have Eyes For You ,” “ Becoming ,” “ The Wish ,” “ Earshot ,” “ Hush ,” and “ Who Are You ?” all slogging it out (don’t make me choose, please)—but if pressed I will agree that it just edges past “ Hush .” Best episode this season, yes. Everyone rocked the casbah and then some and I don’t really hate them, not any of them, and if they don’t get Emmys then screw the Emmys, they’re only slightly more meaningful than the Grammies anyway. But they did totally wreck my summer and leave me whimpering on the floor and unable to get any real work done. And annoying the Spouse no end. Thanks, guys.

Sigh. On with the exegesis, which is divided into five broad parts: a teaser, laying out some ground rules and basic points of interpretation, and four acts for each of the four dreams. Though each of these bits is, in turn, broken up. My write-up of Willow’s dream alone, for instance, is much longer than I ever thought possible…

But. Anyway. Whatever. Without further ado: