So, yesterday was a little rough for me. Wife went in for surgery and I had to take care of her. After I get her home and then come back from getting my minion from school we find a box sitting on our front steps. "Wait, what is this?" The voice in my head asks."I don't know, inner voice me." I reply. "Did we... Did we order this?" "Fuck, I don't know...we HAVE been going a little crazy with subscription boxes!!" "Shit shit shit!" "ALRIGHT INNER ME CALM THE HELL DOWN! There's a sticker here that has your reddit username." "Oh....OH! HELL YISS SECRET SANTA TIME!" So I pick this bad boy up, and kinda grunt in surprise. It's a heavy lil bastard. Heavier than it looks. Man crate huh? Puff my chest out a little more and give a little cave man growl. WHY YES, I AM MAN! Anywho, I get that sucker in the house, check on my wife, cater to her needs and head back out to the living room. Flip out my trusty ol pocket knife and open that baby up. First thing I'm greeted with is a nice little card...and a mini crowbar. The hell? So, I set those aside and dig in.... And there's ANOTHER box. Only this one... This baby's no cardboard sucker box. THIS box is a heavy duty crate of a box. A man's crate if you will. Alright so that's what this crowbar is for. Lets get this thing open! Not so fast. See, this box is held together with glue. And not elmer's glue oh no. This glue is mother fucking King Kong glue. This stuff is the glue that holds the universe together! Many, many, MANY moments grunts and slams and prying later and I'm almost there. Meanwhile, my minion is laughing her ass off watching daddy trying to get this thing open. Finally seeing the end in sight, I toss that crowbar aside and RIIIIIP the lid off. And there's another card. Retro... Oh. OH! It's not a burly wood man's box... It's something BETTER! This crate of near indestructability is PACKED with goodies. I'm talking to the brim with candy. Well, alright... I dig deeper. And oh man! The fun don't stop there, ladies and gents. Cause ALSO included inn this box is a Retro game player AND two pretty rad Nintendo games. Yea the ORIGINAL Nintendo. Mother. Fucking. SWEET! Thank you, my secret Santa. You brought some awesomeness to my day. You totally rock. Here's to the sugar fueled late nights of gaming I have ahead of me.