Being transgender in outback Queensland

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At the age of seven, Brisbane-born Emily Wells knew she was female, and by 13 she'd had her first suicide attempt. Decades later she is living in outback Queensland, and despite it being one of Australia's most conservative electorates, she feels welcome.

Stilettos in a steel-capped-boot town

In an outback Queensland mining town characterised by high-vis work shirts and steel-capped boots, stilettos are almost as rare as rain.

But peering into Emily Wells's wardrobe, it is clear that killer heels are not just reserved for Saturday nights.

"There are times where I call it going 'transie'," Ms Wells said, as she chose a pair high enough to be described as an instrument of torture.

"Emily goes to absolute extremes and it's six-inch-high heels and a mini skirt.

"However, that's not quite accepted in the workplace, so you learn to contain those things for the dancefloor at two-o'clock in the morning or the pride parade," she laughed.

Far from a cosmopolitan LGBTIQ safe haven, Ms Wells has moved to Mount Isa to work at the hospital.

Notorious for its preference for strict heteronormative gender roles, the move to outback Australia was nerve-wracking.

"I was a bit concerned that I was leaving behind all my support, and I know sometimes country folk can be a lot more conservative, so I did mentally prepare myself for a lot more negativity," Ms Wells said.

But after arriving in Mount Isa, she has had an entirely different experience.

"It was a completely different story," she said.

"Arriving here, I'd have to say Mount Isa is very accepting, it's very accommodating.

"Putting aside suburbs such as [Fortitude] Valley and Spring Hill, which have been LGBT-accepting for years and years, Mount Isa is probably a lot more accepting than a lot of the Brisbane suburbs.

"It's not to say I haven't met a little bit here, but other than that it's been a great place."

'I've been called an abomination'

Discrimination is a daily occurrence for the transgender community.

"I've been followed out of shops and abused, I've been abused in shopping centres, called a freak, called an abomination," Ms Wells said.

"I've also been told why don't I go and do the world a favour [and] go kill myself. I've been assaulted.

"Sadly, that is the reality for a lot of transgender people.

"At some point, if not every day, they feel some form of discrimination or isolation."

Ms Wells has dealt with discrimination for decades, ever since she was a child.

"From the age of seven I knew I was female," she said.

"Because of the way I grew up, I didn't get socialised like females do … so I learnt to be a boy, albeit a very sad, lonely boy."

While it was always challenge, Ms Wells said puberty was her first big test.

"When I was just over 13 I attempted suicide. The reason for that is of course around 13 puberty kicks in — the body really started to turn male," she said.

"I recovered from that and fixed myself up for a while — long enough to present to the world a teenage boy."

But behind closed doors, Ms Wells would transform into the correct gender.

"Whenever I could, when I was alone, I would be me — dressing feminine, acting feminine, because that would help to ease the gender dysphoria."

The cost of transitioning

When Ms Wells made the decision to transition about 10 years ago, it was not about money or comfort or even happiness.

She said transitioning became a decision of life or death.

"When I transitioned, the cost to me personally was huge," she said.

"It's cost me family relationships, it's cost me long-term friends, it's cost me financially and it even put a halt to my career.

"It's not a decision that we make simply because we wake up one morning and decide 'Hey, I'm going to transition to the other gender'. It's a lifetime thing."

High rates of mental illness within the transgender community are well-documented.

A report by the Telethon Kids Institute found that almost 80 per cent of trans youth aged 14-25 years had self-harmed, compared to almost 11 per cent of adolescents in the general Australian population.

Another report, called The First Australian National Trans Mental Health Study, found that at the time, almost 44 per cent of the trans people who completed the questionnaire were experiencing clinically relevant depressive symptoms.

One in five participants reported thoughts of suicidal ideation or self-harm on at least half of the days in the two weeks before the survey.

Ms Wells has had multiple suicide attempts.

Transitioning was the only answer.

"For me, it came down to the fact that I either transition to my correct gender, or I simply not be," she said.

And while she is still fighting to get her name changed, she would not go back.

"I have bachelor qualifications from university which I got in my previous dead name, and I still haven't managed to get change to the correct name yet," Ms Wells said.

"It can take years, but overall, I wouldn't go back. I am so happy now.

"You still face discrimination daily, but as prime minister Fraser said 'Life wasn't meant to be easy'."

International Transgender Day of Visibility is celebrated worldwide on March 31.

Topics: women, gender-roles, community-and-society, mount-isa-4825, qld