Allow me to give you some context about myself, some idea of who I am as a person, before I describe my gifts for Arbitrary Day.

I'm a 27 year old woman, and a professional in industry. I'm very neat and organized. My house is immaculately clean, and I own very few items. It's important to note that I rarely purchase something, if it doesn't have an express purpose, and I absolutely hate clutter, or anything that sits around collecting dust. I prefer to spend money on activities, rather than knickknacks. I have a good sense of humor, but it tends to be very dry or sarcastic. I hate memes. I hate synthetic fiber. I am not whimsical, by any stretch of the imagination. I'm sure all of this is easily gleaned from my user history.

I received a Redditgifts message from my gifter, asking for an email address to send an electronic gift to. I gave him my embarrassing junk mail name, and he sent me a groupon for dance classes! What a great gift! He noted from my profile that I'm trying to learn a new skill every month this year, so this was really perfect. I can't wait to stumble my way through a rumba or two! :)

He could have stopped there, and I would have been perfectly pleased as punch. I knew there was another gift coming through the mail, and when I got home from work last night, I was excited to see a big box on my front porch!

I take it inside and tear it open. Peering in, I see arctic blue fur.

"Hmmmm..." I think. I remove it from the box. I cut away the plastic wrap and furrow my brow.

blink, blink

It's an enormous, plush narwhal.

I set it on my coffee table and stare at it for several minutes. I giggle at its ridiculous face and bloated body.

"What the fuck am I going to do with this?" I glance around my spartan, minimalist living room.

I hate it, all last night and most of this morning. I hate everything about it. It's the antithesis of myself. It's my personal enemy. I feel terrible about how badly I hate it, and wonder what would have prompted my gifter to choose this for me.

....

"Arbitrary Day," I say to myself.

Suddenly, it dawns on me. "OH, I GET IT! HE'S TROLLING THE SHIT OUT ME!!!"

It's perfect. Absolutely magnificent levels of troll. There is no singular item in existence that could have landed on my doorstep that would have created such levels of mental anguish, embarrassment, resentment, and eventually HUGE appreciation.

Bra-fucking-vo, gifter. You are a reddit gifts hero, and I salute you. I ended up loving the thing. Thank you thank you thank you! :D

I've named the narwhal Mayonnaise, and he's living in my spare bedroom.