

The 2017 General Mills Monster Cereals!

I FOUND THEM. Had to drive to the freakin’ Bronx in nonstop traffic on a Friday night, BUT I FOUND THEM.

Behold, the 2017 General Mills Monster Cereals!

After last year’s misfire with that whole “election” theme, I’d call this a return to form.

Some folks wanted General Mills to aim high with a new character or at least the return of Fruity Yummy Mummy, but given the iffy reception to last year’s theme, I think going back to basics was the smartest move.

Though the cereals have apparently shipped everywhere, I’ve only heard of one store — the store I found these at — actually putting them on shelves already. Heck, as of this writing, General Mills still hasn’t formally introduced them!

All three boxes have updated art, and I’m *fairly* sure that each box comes with a larger-than-usual assortment of marshmallow shapes. (…which would explain why General Mills made such a fuss about those “monster marshmallows” on the artwork.)

Here’s the breakdown:





Count Chocula!

Marshmallow shapes: Brown bats, brown Count Chocula heads, dark brown lightning bolts and awesome brown-and-white swirled ghosts.

Thoughts: The best of the trio. Since Franken and Boo share their marshmallow shapes, Count Chocula’s quartet really pops. It’s not the most colorful assortment, but it feels the most distinct.

Most if not all of those marshmallows have a rich history in Count Chocula lore, too. I remember old TV commercials that were specifically dedicated to those lightning bolts and swirled ghosts. Each bowl kinda doubles as Count Chocula’s greatest hits CD.

Strangely, the marshmallows pictured on the box do not exist within it. I had many bats in mine, but none were swirly. Maybe my box is just an aberration?





Franken Berry!

Marshmallow shapes: Purple bats, blue Boo Berry heads, pink Franken Berry heads, white ghosts.

Thoughts: Odor is Franken Berry’s top attribute. This cereal reeks like strawberries. It hits you like the best-ever truck. The process of deeply sniffing a newly-opened box seems more reflexive than deliberate.

I like how only the bat marshmallows are firmly defined, as I’m then allowed to make up my own translations for the other ones. (The blue marshmallows are sapphires, and the white ones represent the great state of Kentucky.)





Boo Berry!

Marshmallow shapes: Purple bats, blue Boo Berry heads, pink Franken Berry heads, white ghosts.

Thoughts: Some may be miffed about Boo and Frank sharing their marshmallow shapes, but I think that’s splitting hairs when you’re still getting four different ones.

(In truth, we all tend to go overboard with our Monster Cereal scrutinies.)

Boo Berry’s rarity made him my childhood favorite, but now that he’s on equal footing with the other two, I’ll concede that he comes in third in taste. Still, flavor is a moot point, since neither of the other cereals are fronted by an adorable blue ghost that I want to trap and keep.

All three cereals have the same art on the back, and it’s really good art.

Here, various mascot characters from the extended General Mills family dress up as their favorite cereal monster. Note how they even worked in a Franken-version of the Pillsbury Doughboy. I love that! I need him!

I know it’s too early to be writing about these, but no rational person could expect me to just go about my business when I knew that the Monster Cereals were a short (okay, long) drive away. You bleed the same blood.

Overall, I’m pleased with this year’s collection. The boxes look great, the marshmallows are numerous, and now I’ll get to tack three Franken Doughboys onto my bulletin board. All is well, or even swell.

Big thanks to cantbear2livewithoutit for the tip on where to locate these, and to itstrashculture for leading me to that tip.

Oh, and before anyone asks: I have no idea if General Mills will be bringing back the retro-style boxes this year. As mentioned above, they’ve not yet even announced these. When I find out, I’ll update this review.

Happy Halloween in a hundred degree August!