“In every life we have some trouble,but when you worry you make it double. Don’t worry, be happy.” – Bobby McFerrin

Its unfortunate how caught up and obsessed we become with past regrets. These mistakes might have ruined a friendship, or a relationship with someone you care deeply for. Or perhaps, you made a decision that didn’t affect anyone, except yourself.

Listen, the damage is already done. Unless you have a time machine and can go back into time, then whatever incident happened, happened. The harsh reality is that we cannot take back any actions or words that we wish never took place to begin with.

Bit of a damper, I know. It would be nice if we could rewrite our wrongs, but instead, we are given another wonderful opportunity – To learn from the past.

In the end, we’re all a bunch of humans, wandering through this point in time, trying to figure this whole life shindig out. We live, we learn, we let go, and we move on. The cycles continues to repeat itself if you are able to find peace with yourself and in your heart.

The Four Essentials to Discovering Peace in Your Heart

1. Understand Human Error is NORMAL

We need to stop beating ourselves up each time we do something we later regret; this will not undo history. What this self-loathing will do is leave you in a state of self-destructing pity. More emotional pain is not a positive gain because it eventually leads to even more bitterness in your soul. So, instead of focusing on changing ourselves for the better, we stay stuck in the same repetitive pattern.

Flashbacks are temporary.

You could be driving, engaged in conversation with someone, eating, listening to music then BAM! Something reminds you of an incident or mistake that makes you feel sad. It weighs heavy on your heart as you think about it and it leaves you feeling terrible about yourself, for probably the millionth time.. These recaps shouldn’t be seen as a negative, though. Maintain perspective because you are not the same person you used to be; Take it as a lesson learned.

2. Communicate Your Feelings Somehow

If you feel guilty over harm you have caused someone, let them know how you feel. It doesn’t have to be a face to face conversation, either. Write a letter if you are unable to share your feelings in person.

Find a way to let out the shame you feel on the inside. You need to let it all hang out.

If it’s a specific incident that triggered destruction for no one else but yourself, then explore ways to vent. Whether you talk to a friend, family member, or utilize a pen and piece a paper, physically releasing your feelings will help detox your soul – Allowing you to become closer to serenity.

3. Focus on the Good

You are not that shitty of a person. Quit focusing on the garbage in your life, and think about the good. Write down the positives, if you have to. It’s interesting how easy it is to be our own worst enemy instead of our own biggest fan. There’s enough out there that will make you feel bad about yourself, but when you concentrate on your strengths, not weaknesses, you open the opportunity for creating a happier you.

Mediate on Bob Marley’s wisdom – Don’t worry, be happy. Anytime a negative thought begins to creep in, center your mind on those 4 little words and remember all the amazing aspects that are a part of your life.

4. Release Your Built-Up Anger

This last way to find peace may seem a bit unconventional, but as they say – to each his own.

Holding a grudge against ourselves takes a toll on us mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. We cause our own suffering with constant put downs and unhealthy self-reflection on our part. We become bitter, resentful, and basically, angry little gnomes. We eventually hate ourselves for the mistakes we made because we’re unable to forgive and let go.

In my search for complete soul contentment, I needed to relieve the hatred built up inside, so I began to take kickboxing classes. I wasn’t sure if it was going to help me feel better, but I knew that if I didn’t let out my aggression somehow then my negative feelings were going to continue manifesting in every area of my life. The first punch instantly offered me relief. The more my fists hit the bag, the lighter I felt. I thought about all the damage I caused, all the mistakes I made because of pain done to me.

Whether you take a kickboxing class, or some physical activity, find a way to ensure your aggression is let out in a healthy manner. It’s easy for the anger to come out in other ways if it remains unnurtured.

Health Benefits

The process of forgiveness becomes easier to soak in when we look at the health benefits of letting go. Finding peace in your heart will help:

Reduce the risk of depression

Increase spiritual and emotional well-being

Lower anxiety and stress

Decrease blood pressure

Maintain healthy relationships and friendships

Lower the possibility of alcohol and substance abuse

Life Happens

Things happen.

We’re only able to control so much, so why not control our feelings? Control our emotions and take value in ourselves and how adaptable we are as humans. Why not learn from our past, instead of reliving it in our screwed up brain prison?

Not being able to find peace in your heart is not only toxic but wasteful energy – Energy that could be put to an emotionally and spiritually better you. There’s no reason to wallow in our own pity party because if you look around, you’ll probably be the only attending guest in an empty room.