…and it’s not even Mitt Romney. *rimshot* HARF HARF HARF

Man, I miss Weekend Update more than I thought. Anyway, in a bizarre protest against Dish Network not broadcasting such quality programming as Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, and, um, Goodfellas, AMC announced that they’re sponsoring a new presidential candidate in the upcoming election. Mr. A. Zombie, who is, yes, a zombie, and his wife, Patty Morgan-Zombie, will head to Tampa and Charlotte, homes of the Republican and Democratic Conventions, as well as Dallas, Atlanta, and New York, to “rally zombie fans around the country who don’t have access to [AMC] to find an alternative television provider.”

Take a guess at what his Vice President’s name is.

It IS Noah Pulse. How did you know? The zombie publicity stunt is a clever, if goofy idea that makes a total mockery of campaign season, something I’m totally at peace with, and AMC really needs their spat with Dish to end before The Walking Dead premieres in October. According to the Wall Street Journal:

AMC’s namesake channel, known for shows like The Walking Dead, saw average prime-time viewership decline between 7% and 9% each week during the last three weeks of July, compared with the same period a year earlier, according to Nielsen. To make up for the ratings shortfall, the network is giving advertisers so called “make-goods,” or free ad time back to advertisers, according to media buyers. (Via)

FYI to any politicians reading this: if you make throwing Carl and his dumb hat and dumber face off a steep cliff a goal of your campaign, you’ve got my vote. Conservatives could say he’s a terrorist, and liberals could consider it a late-late-late-late-late-term abortion. Everyone wins.

(Via)