There are few interracial relationships more ubiquitous than the white guy/Asian girl couple, which is seen most often in cities such as San Francisco and Seattle. What is it about white men that Asian girls are so drawn to over men of their own ethnicity? Let’s ponder the list:

1. They are tall.

Despite some of the most recent dating-age generation of Korean men being uncharacteristically tall, for the most part Asian men are perceived to have hit the genetic lottery if they are over 5’9”. While it may appear that Asian girls wouldn’t mind men of short stature since they tend to be petite themselves, in reality they love being around men where they have to tilt their head upward to make eye contact. Since Asian girls are on a never-ending quest to be as cute as possible, a tall man that emphasizes their petiteness when he walks next to them is a total plus.

2. They are assertive.

White men will talk to a pretty Asian girl at a bar. They will walk up to her and say something clever like, “I always burn my rice. Do you have any advice?” He will then continue the conversation, making her giggle by trying to say the butchered versions of the few Japanese words he knows. Then he will regale her with stories about how he went to go visit his cousin who serves in the Peace Corps in Guangdong (he will say the province, not “China,” to show how worldly he is) and how he tried dog meat on a skewer from a man who sells them on the street from a knock-off JanSport backpack. (He says it was actually really tasty.) When an Asian boy sees a pretty girl, he only blushes furiously, and if pushed by his guy friends to talk to her, he only manages to stammer, “Doyoucomehereoften?” so low that she has to ask him to repeat himself, at which point he runs away.

3. They are cultured.

The brawny, dumb-jock types of white men are not attracted to Asian girls. The are too busy chasing blonde girls with long legs who wear too much bronzer and Tory Burch flats. The type of white men that are attracted to Asian girls are usually thin, crane-like, and, if past the age of 28, have a plainly receding line of gingery, close-cropped hair. They are never tan and are usually pale to the point of looking a bit anemic. They wear glasses and are very well read. Unlike Asian men, whose idea of a nice date is making the girl watch him play World of Warcraft followed by dim sum and hopefully a blowjob, white men take their Asian dates to see Madame Butterfly and then to dinner at a Viet-French fusion restaurant. They are extremely well versed in the history and culture of their date’s homeland, and some speak the native language better than she does, having majored in it at college and/or lived there for at least a year. Asian girls find this interest in their home culture both comforting and flattering. They see it as a reflection of their white date’s deep intellectual curiosity.

4. They cook.

This reflects how un-chauvinistic they are. Unlike Asian men, who are told by their grandmothers that their dicks will fall off if they set foot inside the kitchen, white men love to cook. This indicates that they do not believe a woman’s place is only in the kitchen. Because Asian girls are raised to believe that men should be served hand and foot, they are amazed when their white date suggests that he cook dinner.

5. They are emotionally aware.

Asian girls grow up with fathers who express affection by the fact that they put a roof over their heads and food on the table. They are expected to infer that they are loved if they weren’t given up for adoption. While they are initially slightly confused when told by their white boyfriend that he needs to “process his feelings,” they soon come to appreciate such things (along with his abstract watercolor paintings, poetry, and weekly trips to his therapist) as evidence of the rich inner life of his soul.