Study Shows People Say Hamilton Is ‘Really Good’ Without Seeing It

By: Liz Cohn

Hamilton the musical is approaching its third year of production since opening Off-Broadway and according to a new study, people will say that it is “really good” even if they have not seen it. The study, conducted by the Informational Institute of Learning and Research (IILR), surveyed 100,000 people across the country. Almost 69.9% of the study participants claimed to “love” the musical despite only 5% actually being able to somehow get tickets.

Among the 95,000 study subjects claiming to have not seen the show, 79% stated that they also have not listened to a single song from the soundtrack. When prompted to describe why they felt so positively about Hamilton without having seen or listened to the musical, the majority of participants responded, “Because it’s Hamilton.”

“Is Hamilton really the best musical of all time, or just the best publicized?” asks Dr. Miranda Lin, the study’s head researcher and data analyst. “Though the data cannot directly answer this question for us, I have seen the show and objectively know it is the best.”

Of the 5,000 people surveyed who have seen the acclaimed musical, exactly 4,999 claimed that the show is “perfection” and only one person responded that they did not like it. When asked to describe their feelings on the show, the subject explained, “The cast was really mean to Vice President Mike Pence. He’s, like, a really nice guy and has lots of friends and they all think he’s super great.”

One participant of the study claimed that they have not seen the show, but they “hate” it. When prompted to describe why the lone hater felt that way about Hamilton, the study participant replied, “It’s highly overrated. Theater must always be a safe place and now Mikey is very scared. Apologize!”

Dr. Lin admits, “We are not certain if this data has any major sociological or anthropological significance, but clearly everyone agrees that Hamilton is really good and you should see it. Seriously, it changed me.”