Left-wing fury as Labour party chooses electable leader

Britain’s left has responded with anger today after the Labour party chose a leader who actual voters might like, instead of just them.

Kier Starmer, who is described as ‘competent and capable of making difficult compromise decisions’, was elected as leader of the Labour party despite these qualifications – leading to some saying he is utterly unsuited to the role.

Starmer is understood to believe that offering people things they want, rather than just telling them what they should want, is a route to success in an electoral system like ours, but supporters of Jeremy Corbyn have already rejected that view.

“It’s not about ‘winning elections’, it’s about being right,” said Momentum supporter Poppy Grant-Williams.

“If ordinary people are too stupid to support me unreservedly in everything I say and do, then they don’t deserve help.

“The Labour Party is nothing if it doesn’t hold the electorate hostage by making it clear it won’t do anything for them unless I get everything I want.”