I started lightly spotting Wednesday June 6 at 8 weeks 3 days along. The same day I had my first doctor’s appointment. It was pretty much just a little discoloration when I wiped. At the end of my appointment the doctor said that a little spotting after a pap smear was normal and to not be alarmed. I continued to lightly spot until the weekend when it became heavier. By Sunday I started noticing a very dark brown discharge, again typically only when I wiped, and some light cramping. I researched that this is often normal during the first trimester and during first time pregnancies. The dark discharge is typically old blood from the uterus caused by stretching. I started worrying on Monday when the discharge started collecting on a pad. But it was still dark, and my research said that dark it okay but bright red is when there is cause for alarm. From what I’d searched, brown and pink is okay, but when the discharge becomes bright red, with cramping is when there’s cause to have things checked because they were signs of miscarriage.

On Tuesday June 12, I started passing very dark mixed with red discharge that collected on a pad. There was a strong odor, like old blood that I hated smelling when I went to the bathroom. After explaining the situation to the doctor’s office, an ultrasound was scheduled. I was supposed to be 9 weeks 2 days along, but at the doctor’s office they determined that the embryo was only the size of a 6 week old, and still had a large yolk sac. The technician failed to find a heartbeat. When I explained that I knew that the baby died to the doctor he assured me that these things are normal, happen to many people and that it won’t affect future pregnancies.

When I got home, I broke down in my husband’s arms. We were crushed because now we knew that our worst fears were true and we just had to wait for the inevitable. Our wait was not long because, everything started the next day.

On Wednesday morning (a week after I started spotting) I awoke at 4:30 am with cramps and the feeling of a rush of blood. I immediately went to the bathroom. I was passing blood, and clots with lots of cramping. I essentially spent the next 8 hours rotating from the toilet to the couch. Every time I felt a rush of blood I’d head to the toilet and let everything pass. I was also pooping a lot. I guess when one area of your system is contracting and evacuating so do other systems. I was cramping, but nothing too intense. I’d read so many miscarriage stories of women practically feeling labor intense pains but I felt this was like an especially strong period. More intense than my normal but nothing I couldn’t handle. During the whole experience, the largest clots I had were about the size of a large grape, and tissue pieces about the size of a finger.

Once the intense cramps lessened I was able to rest more comfortably on the bed. The bleeding and tissue passing lasted throughout the rest of the day. I had to fly to Chicago the next day, so I was very thankful for the worst of it to be finished. The bleeding was like a heavy period where once in a while a clot or tissue would pass, and continued until Sunday June 17th. On Sunday I passed one more piece of tissue without much blood. I for the next two weeks, normal the first week and then very light when I wiped the next week.

The miscarriage was less intense than I’d read about or was prepared for physically. The component that I was not prepared for, nor do I think anyone could prepare for, was the emotional aspect of a miscarriage. I knew that I’d be bleeding and that I’d be sad during that but the spotting was the most frustrating. Every time I’d spot it was a reminder of what happened and that I was not finished. I just wanted everything to be over, to have a chance to process and move on.

I’m so thankful for my husband and how supportive he was through the whole experience. We were apart for most of the miscarriage because I had booked a trip that left the day after I started to visit family. When we were together he hugged me, gave me water, and was so attentive. When we were apart we talked on the phone often. He made me laugh, listened to my frustrations and calmed me down when I needed it. I so appreciate him and feel very lucky that he is in my life.

I hope someone finds this story/experience useful. I wish I’d found a more normal experiences instead of the traumatic horror stories I’d read on the internet. I know that everyone is different, but I wanted to share my less intense experience to let others know not all miscarriages end up in the hospital, that continuous gushing blood is not inevitable, and that the “most intense pain that you’ve ever experienced in your life” does not necessarily happen.

Thanks for reading and letting me share.