We guarantee these results will shock you.

You've got the fashion thing down pat. Tight is tight, and unlike most of the seething masses, you can rock pants that would make an Egyptian mummy feel restricted. If you wear skinny jeans, here’s what a recent Qualtrics study says about you:

You feel like this all the time:

Taste the happy, Michael! Taste it. (Photo: Screenshot/Hulu)

Skinny jeans wearers are 9 percent more likely to report high levels of happiness. Because jeans make you happy? Because happy people make gutsy fashion choices? Who knows, but also, who cares? Nothing's bringing down your good vibe.



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You think motorcycles are tight.

Israeli actress Gal Gadot aka Wonder Woman. The camera that took this photo melted shortly after. (Photo: @GalGadot/Twitter)

Thirty-three percent of people who wear skinny jeans ride motorcycles, and 100 percent look awesome doing it. We've yet to see a skinny jeans-wearing, tattooed motorcycle gang, but we're waiting with bated breath for it. Bated.



You know how cool you are.

People who rock skinny jeans are 12 percent more likely to identify themselves as either extremely or very confident. Which probably explains why you dare to wear clothing that anyone with flaws runs screaming from.



You're an urbanite.

This is what living in New York City is really like. (Photo: courtesy of HBO Films)

Big cities dwellers are twice as likely to wear skinny jeans than people living in smaller cities. We think it's probably about trying to save space.



You think windows in planes are overrated.

Especially when you're sitting next people wearing silly hats. (Photo: Screenshot/Youtube)

Aisle sitters on airplanes are more likely to wear skinny jeans than window sitters. Maybe you want everyone to see your awesome pants. Or maybe it's just too hard for you to scoot all the way to the window. Either way, you know that looking out at the sky zooming past you as you miraculously fly through the air like a bird is a waste of time.



You're so over Apple

Why are there so many people to greet you, yet so few people to fix your computer? (Photo: Screenshot/Youtube)

People who wear skinny jeans are 8 percent less likely to use Apple computers over PCs. So take that Apple: maybe you can buy Siri, but you can't buy our freedom! At least, not the kind of freedom that comes with being as tightly wrapped as a burrito in a piece of sushi filled with Cuban cigars.