Slaves wondering how they might get themselves some of this ‘€100k a year for not doing any work’ style slavery

Slaves have been left wondering how they might go about becoming enslaved in a situation where they get paid €100k a year and don’t even have to turn up for work.

After the Brexit Party’s Ann Widdecombe told the European parliament that the UK’s relationship with the EU was like that of a slave to its master, those still entrapped in modern slavery environments have asked how they might get themselves some of that EU/UK-style slavery.

Slave worker ‘Si’, told us, “I’m currently working every hour God sends doing menial jobs for my ‘owner’ to pay off a vastly inflated debt that I incurred to them to get to this country in the first place. That feels a bit more like slavery than being paid €100k a year to not attend any meetings.

“I mean, I get it, being in the EU means Ms Widdecombe doesn’t always get her own way on everything, so I can see how that might feel a bit like slavery to someone who is bursting at the eyeballs with British exceptionalism.

“But to everyone else, she just looks like a spoiled out of touch dinosaur.”

Widdecombe, who as an MEP pulls a salary of approximately £6500 per month, later clarified, “Alright, in fairness, we are fucking well-paid slaves. And, yes, we can come and go whenever we want. And, alright, we don’t get flogged if we don’t turn up for work. And, yes, admittedly, I’ve never been chained or shackled to my desk.

“But other than that…we’re just like slaves.”

The former Strictly Come Dancing contestant, who served as an MP until 2010, recently caused another furore by suggesting that science may yet find a cure for homosexuality.

“Oh, yes, and we can say whatever we want to as well, pretty much without censure,” she droned on.

“And if I wanted to jack it all in tomorrow and come home and enjoy a nice peaceful retirement in my garden, I could.

“But we’re still definitely slaves.”

I think, therefore I am (not a Brexit supporter) – get the t-shirt here!