OK, so I’ve been remiss. Actually I have just been absent. I couldn’t get it together. I couldn’t get words on paper. For one, there are too many other smart women out here telling stories, making me laugh, inspiring me. Selling books, going on tour, headlining conferences. I kind of figured “Eh, who needs me/another blog/more noise…”

But three things happened.

1. I remembered this wasn’t for anyone else. I just like to write so to hell with all you other more talented, better read, more prolific, fancier vocabulary writers. I’m just gonna do my thing.

2. I found this awesome quote:

3. And then I read a liberating article by a woman whose name (kind of) rhymes with Pain in the Ass. And unlike all the women who inspire me and inspire jealousy in me, I refuse to give this person more attention so I’m not going to give you her real name. Pain in the Ass will have to do. Pia for short. I’m also not linking to her article but if you want to find it, it won’t be hard.

Here is my favorite little gem from Pia’s confession article about how she looks down on women who get married and have kids:

You will never have the time, energy, freedom or mobility to be exceptional if you have a husband and kids.

Wow. I don’t think you’ve heard this enough, Pia. So here goes…thank you! Talk about freeing! Good-bye stress. The train has left the station!

I have a husband. Check.

I have kids–three boys, in fact. Double check.

What the hell am I so worried about? I’m never going to be exceptional. Phew. Pressure off.

There’s no point in trying to be exceptional. Since having kids I’ve only run my own business (oh, look business owner, huh), gone back to work full time for someone else (The Man might bring us down, but he also offers health insurance, which my average kids of less than average height and weight need to stay boringly healthy)–and got promoted 3 times in 5 years. Come to think of it, Pia, you’re right. I should have had some celebratory showers and surprise parties when I went from just plain ol’ Account Director to Senior Account Director–that’s some tough shit right there! Forget gestating and birthing actual humans, I had to placate Creative Directors! I had to stroke egos! Where was my parade??

Since having kids, I’ve run 160-mile relay races over mountains in the middle of the night and managed a photoshoot with a StormTrooper on a beach in Malibu. I’ve survived a Kindergarten field trip to the stock show, organized and completed three school projects and a client presentation all with the same due date, and cheered on three separate peewee soccer teams all before noon and with a hangover!

I’ve been on airplanes! With kids and without kids–both. I’ve traveled with a backpack. OK, not backpacking by myself, but with a kid, in a backpack! Also, with a laptop in a purse. See above re: promotions and presentations–those PowerPoints don’t just win business all by themselves, you know.

But now, I can relax. I’m never going to be exceptional. I can continue leading my team at my fun, creative job. I am free to help my son with his 10-page book report after dinner. I can go ahead and remind my three handsome guys to brush their teeth before bed. I can make lunches (okay, not really, my husband does that); I can do laundry, and clean bathrooms, clip fingernails and plan play dates. I can write a silly blog just because I want to. And I can go about my completely average, fulfilling, incredibly blessed life.

Now I don’t have to worry about winning that Nobel Peace Prize or writing a Newberry Medal winner or winning Gold in the half-pipe in Sochi (you have no idea what a relief that is!), or finding the cure to–well, anything–like all those women running around unburdened with kids and husbands have to.

But, Pia, there is one little thing…perhaps you might want to go check this out and then let me know if success, achievement and anything resembling a life are really over at “I do” or even at “It’s a Boy/Girl/Twins!”