THERE’S been a lot of anecdotes this week that have started, “I’m not a racist, but ...” Well in some form I probably was racist. Would I laugh uncontrollably at a dodgy joke that poked fun at a minority? Absolutely. Would I retell it and claim it as my own? You bet!

That all changed on 3 July 2005. I remember the day, and the events so well.

I was the media manager for the Parramatta Eels at the time and we played Souths at Parramatta Stadium. We were having a good year, and Souths were struggling so we were expected to win well, and we did.

It was a dream result for a media manager — a big win, in front of the home crowd, no injuries, and a happy club. It would be an easy sell to get good publicity this week, I thought.

That all changed late in the second half when one of our indigenous players, Dean Widders, just snapped on the field.

I immediately knew something was up because Deano was a lot of things, but he was never a hothead prone to blow up. He’d much rather charm you with one of those impersonations of his, or tell you a story about Armidale. He was the original class clown.

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media_camera Dean Widders confronts then Rabbitohs captain Bryan Fletcher.

These were the days before the referees were miked and Sports Ears were only new on the scene. I couldn’t work out what had happened.

However when I looked at his fellow players, I knew something was up. I immediately raced from my position in the media centre and headed to the sheds.

Fulltime sounded soon after and it became apparent what had happened — Dean Widders had been racially vilified by an opposing player. I let it sink in for a moment, but something was very obvious. The laughing clown had lost his smile.

I asked him what had happened and he told me directly he’d been called a “black c…”.

I immediately thought, although I’m grateful to this day, I didn’t say, “I’m sure you’ve been called worse, what’s the big deal?”.

He took his seat and as was the case after all wins, the players gathered with coaching staff to sing the team song. There was someone missing. Deano didn’t feel like singing.

By this time the story had got out as it was apparently clear on the television coverage and the media descended on our dressing rooms chasing an interview.

We managed to get Deano out of the rooms and we headed over to the football office adjacent to the Parramatta Leagues Club, where Dean and I met with coach Brian Smith.

media_camera Widders accepted an unreserved apology from Fletcher.

The media had approached the opposing player, who had been identified by this time as Souths captain Bryan Fletcher.

There had apparently been a misunderstanding, and Widders had misheard the sledge, he had called him “fat” and not “black”. There was no story and a simple miscommunication.

When I sat with Dean and Brian in Smithy’s office and relayed the developments, I can honestly say I’ve never seen a more broken man than Dean Widders in that moment.

We talked about a lot of things that night — Deano kept saying that both of us were required at the post-match function (he was the ultimate club man) and he would be OK. Brian simply told him that we were having our own function right here and we would stay with him for as long as he needed us.

There was already talk about an NRL investigation but only if Widders put in an official complaint, and if so Fletcher would be called before the judiciary and they would have to play a game of he said, he said, played out in front of the national media.

There was no social media in those days — Facebook was a new concept and Twitter was something birds did — but nothing spread like a rumour in rugby league but it looked likely Fletcher was going to be suspended for a long stretch, possibly jeopardising his rumoured end of season move to the English Super League.

Widders was distraught by this — he had played with Fletch at the Roosters and held him in high esteem, and that’s what really cut him — but he didn’t want Fletcher’s career to be remembered for this incident.

I had lots of calls from the media looking to broker negotiations between the two (as long as they got the footage) and there were suggestions from some that what happens on the field should stay on the field, and that Widders should just “forget about it and move on”.

I’ll never forget what happened next.

With an unwavering calmness, Widders looked at us both and said.

“I don’t want Fletch to have to suffer for this but there are two things I’m not going to cop.

“Firstly, no one, and I mean, no one, is going to tell me he didn’t say what he said.

“And secondly, no one is going to tell me that it’s not important. I’m speaking for everyone who has to live their life being told being black is something to be ashamed of. I have kids. I’m going to stand up.

Neither Brian nor I spoke for a good 10 minutes — I literally had nothing I could say, but from that moment on, I knew I had laughed at my last racist joke.

I also vowed to myself, and to him, that I understood, just for a moment what it was like for him on that field, in that moment. And it was the worst feeling I’ve ever had in my life.

media_camera Fletcher faces the media after the incident.

By the time the morning had dawned, to their eternal credit, South Sydney, led by their CEO Shane Richardson, had taken swift and decisive action.

This was the Redfern club, the pride of the league, that had such a wonderful indigenous history. The behaviour was not going to be tolerated.

Fletcher was stripped of the captaincy and fined heavily, with the money going to an indigenous program — he may also have been suspended, I’m not sure, but to his credit, Fletcher made an impassioned public and private apology and to this day, long into retirement, is one of the first to put his hand up for any charity work or a good cause.

I was reminded again, so clearly of this incident, during the discussion this week involving Adam Goodes. I had seen a broken man, close up, humiliated by someone thinking the colour of his skin was a reason to deride. I felt and shared that disgust.

I stand with Adam Goodes.

Damian Kelly

Senior Manager, Public Affairs, NSW Business Chamber