This is long overdue, and might turn out to be only Part 1.

You may have noticed that language is evolving, and words used by certain people don’t have the same meaning they do in the dictionary. Similar to individual rights vis-a-vis government regulation, what was perfectly acceptable yesterday might be forbidden today. So bookmark this post and keep it handy for reference.

AFFIRMATIVE ACTION – A policy to encourage compliance with the Civil Rights Act, which says employment decisions shall not be made based on race or sex. Wait…um, nevermind…

AFRICA – A utopian paradise where slavery and prejudice don’t exist and never have. You can be sure any evidence to the contrary is the fault of a greedy, oppressive American.

AMERICA – A dark, sinister entity that invented racism, slavery, greed and poverty. It is still such an oppressive blight on the planet that millions from around the world take whatever action necessary, legal or illegal, to get within its borders and join their voices to those already shouting down its villainy. The final solution to the American problem is to transform this reprehensible nation into something more like the utopias all those millions of immigrants are so desperate to escape from.

“CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE” – Effective safe words to use when a fascist (see definition below) is oppressing you with inappropriate facts.

COMMUNISM – A trigger word (referring to an imaginary boogeyman invented by right-wingers) used by the enemies of progress, who try to make others believe that a system of government proposed by Karl Marx has been instituted in other nations, and failed miserably despite being subsidized via foreign aid and other handouts from U.S. taxpayers for half a century.

CONSERVATIVE – Anyone to the right of Rachel Maddow.

CONSPIRACY – A paranoid fantasy fabricated out of whole cloth by the vast right-wing conspiracy, used to justify their hateful, reactionary opinions. We enlightened leaders should meet privately and decide what to do with dangerous individuals who entertain such notions. IT DOESN’T EXIST, understand? Exceptions include The JFK assassination, Tailhook, and the Patriarchy.

FACTS – clusters of data which are only relevant if/when they support an SJW position. They are invalid when they fail to support a current SJW argument, even when previously cited to support another SJW argument.

FASCIST – Someone who not only destroys an SJW argument (see “racist”), but does so via rigid, inappropriate use of facts.

HATE – Worldviews and ideologies that are a hindrance to progress. The worst is one particular religion which teaches “love your neighbor as you love yourself,” and “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”

HATE CRIME – A crime which makes a victim out of someone from a Recognized Victim Class. A murder of a homosexual, for instance, is hateful; whereas other murders are not.

HATE SPEECH – Something written or spoken with terminology which is not current; like saying “illegal alien” instead of “undocumented worker” or “socialist” instead of “liberal.”

HOMOPHOBE – Anyone who doesn’t automatically add the clause: “not that there’s anything wrong with that” after a reference to homosexual behavior.

HOMOSEXUAL – An outdated term (which should probably be classified as a trigger) for those who use the body parts they were born with in ways they were never meant to be used. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

LEFT-WING – A trigger word used by fascist hatemongers for an ideology that doesn’t exist. (We know it doesn’t exist because the term is never used on TV.) It doesn’t even exist in Marxist countries, where genocidal tyrants are merely “Stalinist.”

LIBERAL – An enlightened person or policy which recognizes that individual rights should be infringed upon; that government should dictate how the proletariat spends their money and uses their “property” (an outdated concept); and that all this should be enforced with Executive Orders, unwarranted searches, drone strikes and indefinite detention without trial or charges.

NOBEL PEACE PRIZE – A prestigious award, all the more prestigious in recent times now that it’s awarded for such achievements as leading terrorist organizations and being born a certain skin color.

PATRIARCHY – A conspiracy by men to oppress women (by forcing them to pay for their own birth control, for instance) which a ccounts for every female failure, and male success, in history. Its height of power was in the Dark Ages of the 1950s when most children had both a dad and mom; men opened doors for women; and females were safe walking alone at night nearly anywhere in America.

PRIVILEGE – Something enjoyed exclusively by those who disagree with SJWs.

PROGRESSIVE – (See “liberal”) A person or policy which marches forward to hope and change by gradual increments. Kind of like how you boil a frog, comrade.

RACISM – A state of mind which often goes undetected until the one guilty of it effectively dismantles an SJW argument.

RIGHT-WING – A broad-brush umbrella term, under which fits all the dastardly villains who have ever lived. Including guys like Stalin and Mao (if they truly are dastardly villains; if not, then they are still left-wing…er, progressive).

SEXISM – The narrow-minded insistence that there are differences between males and females.

SOCIALISM – A brilliant, equitable form of government which results in utopia. Not that anybody here believes in it, of course. We are “liberals,” not “socialists.”

SOCIAL JUSTICE – An enlightened mindset which helps one understand that every rape accusation by a womyn is true; that a fair, equal society can best be accomplished by institutionalized discrimination against white male heterosexuals (see “Affirmative Action”); and that any criticism of someone in a Recognized Victim Class is motivated by bigotry.

TRIGGER WORD – A clue that you’re dealing with an enemy to progress. Examples include words like “the Constitution,” “free market,” “liberty,” “founding fathers,” “individual rights,” “personal responsibility” and “republic.”

TRUTH – A trigger word which refers to invalid data (see “facts”) used to oppose progress. It can sometimes be invoked (with caution) by SJWs in its older definition: information which advances the progressive agenda.