A DRUNK amateur pilot had to be guided to land by a rescue helicopter after he radioed the control tower of his airfield to ask: ''Where the bloody hell have you hidden yourself?''

The 65-year-old drank a large quantity of beer and wine before flying over the central German state of Thuringia in his Cessna light aircraft on Saturday.

Once airborne, he continued to drink while at the controls. Two hours later he was happy but alcoholically challenged - so much so he was unable to read the instruments telling him where the Schoengleida airfield was.

''Come on, I know you're down there,'' he radioed. ''Where the bloody hell have you hidden yourself?''

Control tower staff say he also sang a few songs, cracked a mother-in-law joke and told them to ''pull their fingers out as I've got a party to go to''.