If you haven’t been following the news about the 2020 Iowa Democratic caucuses, I’ll try to sum it up with a quote from the classic film Idiocracy: Their $#!+ is all retarded. Nobody knows what’s going on. It’s chaos and pandemonium. Backbiting and recriminations. They’ve really embarrassed themselves, and it’s making them very, very angry. In other words, it’s absolutely marvelous. I haven’t stopped smiling all day.

But once we’re all done laughing at the Dems, there’s still important work to be done. We need to figure out who’s going to take the blame for this trainwreck.

MSNBC’s Zerlina Maxwell will show us the way. She knows whose fault this fiasco is. HINT: It rhymes with “white steeple.”

MSNBC’s @ZerlinaMaxwell: “The Iowa caucus is essentially the perfect example of systemic racism. 91% of the voters in Iowa are white.” Unlike “white children,” minorities “feel a sense of urgency because their kids are being put in cages, right?” pic.twitter.com/YkMlw3Qqub — Tom Elliott (@tomselliott) February 4, 2020

“Maybe I’ll be the only person to say this today. The Iowa caucus is essentially the perfect example of systemic racism. 91% of the voters in Iowa are white. The reason why you see a drop in turnout — I’m just speculating here — it could be perhaps that white children are not in the cages. So when you’re talking about the tangible pain that black and brown people are feeling, they feel a sense of urgency because their kids are being put in cages. Right? And so if you have a 91% white electorate, that sense of urgency may not be reflected in the turnout numbers. I’m not saying that’s the reason for this. It could be a factor.”

Well, how could it not be a factor? How could failing to share Zerlina Maxwell’s obsessions and assumptions about the world not be at least part of the reason the Democrats have humiliated themselves today? Sure, they might say they agree with her so their friends don’t get mad at them. But they’re still white, aren’t they?

Maxwell isn’t the only person to say this on cable news, though. CNN’s Van Jones said something similar. They both claim that making Iowa the first primary state is racist, because it’s predominantly white. And I know that Maxwell and Jones are correct in saying so, because I’m white and they’re not. I’m not allowed to disagree with them.

So listen up, Iowa Democrats. This is your wakeup call. You thought you could get away with this, but we’re onto you now. If you didn’t want to get called out for your systemic racism, you shouldn’t have decided to be white.

We need to just dissolve Iowa if the Dems hope to win this thing. Is it possible to deport an entire state? Ship those white folks up to Canada where they belong.