In the age of smartphones and 24 hour news cycles, two sons have somehow managed to steal virtually all the headlines of the past few weeks: Lonzo Ball, he of the summer league triple doubles and non-wearing of his own shoes, and Donald Trump Jr., of the potentially colluding with Russian spies and not knowing that was super un-chill.

So what would happen if these two media magnets were actually in contact with one another? What would occur if the apex of the vortex of news media collided via text on July 14, 2017? Let’s find out.

(*Author’s note: I apologize for the quality, but screenshots like these cost a lot of money and Corey Lewandowski is lousy at subterfuge.)