NYC—Is there any limit to the slothfulness that defines the menace of the millennial generation? If a recent candid photo is any indication, then apparently even our cities alleged “heroes” aren’t immune to the acute lack of motivation that afflicts this day’s youth.

The only thing missing from the photo of the napping Spider-Boy is artisanal toast smothered in free-range avocado. Even the most ambitious of this generation are worthy of contempt. Take for example the photographer behind this photo, Peter Participation Trophy Parker.

You could tell that young Peter was disappointed by the check I cut him for this photo. Good thing he’s not man enough to complain about it. He’d have gotten no sympathy from old Jonah. When I was his age, we worked for free.

J. Jonah Jameson is the editor-in-chief of the Daily Bugle.

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