When I entered the corporate world, I used to be proud with these calls I used to get from time to time. “Sir, you have a pre-approved credit card from {insert reputed bank name here}.” Hmm.. So I am someone important to the economic system now. But as experiences were gained these grew from minor annoyances to whenever the phone shows an unknown number – “oh! not again!”. I used to just ignore these calls, picking up and mumbling “Not Interested”.

But off late, I decided to make use of such situations in interesting ways. My friends always seem too busy to call frequently nowadays and my family never really has gotten into the habit of talking long over the phone. So who did I have as an alternative? The credit card girls off course (I say girls because if it is a guy who is calling then the old mumbling is still the norm). So began my experiments and adventures.

One

Caller: Hello sir, do you have a credit card?

Me: Yeah.

Caller: Sir but this is a card from HBHBH bank. It has offers that would make your eyeballs jump out of their sockets.

Me: Hmm. Ok. But I am still not interested.

Caller: But whyyy sirrr?

Me: How did you get my number?

Caller: Database gave it to us sir.

Me: Which database? I haven’t registered in any database.

Caller: No sir. I can see your number here.

Me: Ok, miss then can you tell me what my name is.

Caller: Er.. Sorry sir, they have not mentioned your name.

Me: What?? They just provided you with a list of numbers without names?? You want a list then I can give you one too. What are the rates of your provider?

Beep. Call disconnected.

Two

Caller: Hello sir, this is a call from GCEB bank regarding credit cards.

Me: What’s your name?

Caller: Thoolika sir. (Nice name .. dilemma.. should I flirt or talk stern? Hmm.. voice doesn’t sound good, so stern is the go again.)

Me: Are you calling from GCEB bank?

Caller: Off course!

Me: But I work for the HR dept. in GCEB bank. I know for sure that we don’t do direct phone call marketing.

Caller: Actually sir, it came from Database. We are calling from an agency.

Me: Can I speak to your manager?

Caller: No sir.

Me: Why not? If I don’t speak to your manager, I’m going to register a complaint.

Caller: Sorry sir, we work without managers. (I wonder if their agency is hiring)

Beep. Call disconnected.

Three

Caller: Hello sir, I’m calling from RAH bank regarding credit cards.

Me: Are you from an agency?

Caller: No sir, I’m calling from the bank.

Me: Can I speak to your manager

Caller: Sorry for disturbing you sir. Thank y..

Me: If you disconnect now, I’m going to sue you.

Caller: Er. Er.. Just a minute sir, I’ll get my manager.

Manager: Hi sir. This is Priyanka.

Me: How did you get my number?

Manager: Sir its in our database sir.

Me: Whose database?

Manager: HBHBH bank sir.

Me: But your colleague said you were calling from RAH bank?

Manager: Er sir.. er.

Beep. Call disconnect.

If only I could catch hold of Mr. Database one day. Who the hell is he to blurt out my personal details to every Tom, Dick, Priyanka and Thoolika about my personal details? :D

Some of my friends tell me they are only doing their job. Well I respect that. But if you choose a job like this, taunts such as these come as occupational hazards. Call me a cruel pig, but I value my privacy. As far as I am concerned my mobile phone is for me to communicate on things relevant to me. But well, if you encroach… well I have my right to have some fun.

So if you are the next credit card girl who is going to call me, we’ll strike a deal – go out for dinner that day and I’ll definitely subscribe to the card of your choice. Dinner’s on you, though! :)