Newark has been holding its breath for more than a year, hoping to win the bid for Amazon's "HQ2" headquarters. New Jersey's largest city was the state's lone bid for the project, and even made the cut to be one of 20 finalists.

Well, Brick City, you can exhale. Amazon ain't comin'.

According to reports, the online shopping conglomerate has decided to split HQ2 into two cities -- Long Island City in New York and Arlington, Va.

And you know what? That's fine. We're happy without you, Amazon. Who the hell needs ya?

Would HQ2 have potentially revitalized a city in dire need of an economic catalyst? Maybe. Would it have meant 50,000 jobs for the state? Sure.

All good. We'll find another massive online retail company that wants to call Brick City home.

I mean, unless, you get lonely in New York and Virginia. In which case, you still have our number right?

Actually, if you don't, whatever. It's seriously no big deal.

But we just gotta know. Was the $2 billion in potential tax breaks and $5 billion in tax incentives not enough for you? That's billion, with a "b." We know your company is worth around $1 trillion (with a "t"), but c'mon, those breaks and incentives would have made for some serious profitability in the Garden State. And trust us, getting tax breaks in Jersey can be tough. Just ask Jared Kushner.

Fine, that's obviously not enough. What more can we give you? Let's see ... we have this Cory Booker fellow, have you heard of him? He may run for president. And he was the mayor of Newark! Maybe he could pull some strings and score you some extra coin.

No? Alright. So you're heading to New York. You know Long Island City is in Queens, right? That's, like, the third-coolest borough. And Alexandria? Do you know what the commute to D.C. on the Metro is like? It makes NJ Transit look like a freaking bullet train. It literally catches on fire so often that the website "IsMetroOnFire.com" became a thing. We're not joking.

But we get it. We've seen plenty of people pick New York over New Jersey. Just saying, it could be an absolute nightmare. LIC is an up-and-coming neighborhood, but adding this much this fast could mean massive gentrification and traffic. The 7 train is rough as it is -- it will be unbearable if this plan goes through.

If we're being honest, Newark really does need a company like Amazon way more than New York and Virginia. You'll just be another fling. Amazon isn't going to change the culture in Queens or Alexandria. Newark, on the other hand, would sincerely benefit. You're the economic engine this long-struggling city has been looking for, injecting jobs and commerce where it's needed most.

"Newark boasts a highly-educated workforce, robust transportation systems, and thriving technology networks that provide many strategic benefits to companies that call our city home," Booker said in April when he, along with Gov. Phil Murphy and Mayor Ras Baraka, met with Amazon officials.

Also, you clearly haven't had a burger at Krug's Tavern or Portuguese food in the Ironbound. Workers getting off late shifts can hit Tops Diner, which is open past midnight every day and is one of our finest establishments.

Alas, we fear you still won't come to our side of the Hudson. We give up.

We should have known that this whole "nationwide search" was really just a ruse, a bait-and-switch to get attention for the company and raise the hopes of cities across the country that could truly benefit from a company like Amazon building a home there, just to pick not just one but two of the biggest and most obvious candidates. You were never going to pick us, no matter how many times we scribbled "NJ + Amazon =

So good riddance, Amazon. I'd say we're cancelling our Prime membership, but that two-day shipping really comes in handy.

Also, if Queens doesn't work out, the PATH to Newark runs 24/7 if you ever change your mind.

Jeremy Schneider may be reached at jschneider@njadvancemedia.com. Follow him on Twitter @J_Schneider. Find NJ.com on Facebook.