by Andrew Pham, the kook king.

A is for ABEC ratings, that don't matter.

B is for bearings, that won't make you faster.

A post shared by Speedthron Longboard (@speedthron) on Jun 17, 2018 at 4:57am PDT

C is for cruising, not a real discipline.

D is for Double Pendy, a full face ad.

E is for the Evo, not what you need.

See above.

F is for face plant, full scorpion.

G is for G-Form, that you'll ruin in one fall.

$$$No abrasion resistance$$$

H is for helmet, I love helmets.

I is for insanity, repeating the same mistakes and expecting different results.

J is for jank, like your setup and tuck.

K is for Kryptonics, they used to be legit.

#Sellout.

L is for LBDR, we blew all the spots.

M is for mall grab, it's just easier.

N is for narrow hangers, enjoy high siding.

O is for ovals, get new wheels.

You're not going to save them.

P is for pendy, because you can't predrift.

I skipped around in the video and I think it's only talking...

Q is for Quest, so many good reviews!

This is the actual amazon product image. Something is very wrong here...

R is for roll speed, you're not cool until you hit 50.

S for is stinkbug, you look dumb.

T is for toe side, and I thought your heel sides were bad.

U is for urethane, no combination will fix your wobbles.

V is for Valkyrie, that you can't afford.

W is for Walmart, the local shop.

I'd like to link you to our product page for Valkyrie to get some sales off this article but we can't afford them either.

The trucks are plastic...

X is for the X Games, I could have qualified back then.

Y is for you, ya kook.

I was going to insert some java here to turn on your webcam but then ya'll'd think you're being hacked. Take it from me though, it's easier than you think to snap a pic of you.

Z is for zeakous, overrated on reddit.

I mean... they alright.