Last week, the Church of England proclaimed that sex is only for straight, married couples. This week, they’re making apologies for it… sort of.

They’re not saying they were wrong. They are, however, “apologizing” for the damage it caused. Which is a fancy way of saying they’re only upset that everyone’s criticizing them over it.

Justin Welby and John Sentamu [the archbishops of Canterbury and York] said they took responsibility for releasing the statement which “jeopardised trust”. They added: “We are very sorry and recognise the division and hurt this has caused.” … The archbishops’ statement said: “We as archbishops, alongside the bishops of the Church of England, apologise and take responsibility for releasing a statement last week which we acknowledge has jeopardised trust. We are very sorry and recognise the division and hurt this has caused.

It’s a classic non-pology. They’re not upset about what they said; they’re upset that you’re upset. And if they’re not actually apologizing, then there’s nothing to forgive them for.

Absolutely nothing has changed.

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