>> BONER BALLS. BONER BALLS. BONER, BONER FAR REST. DENSE BONER FOREST. >> PUNGENT CROTCH SWEAT. PUNGENT. MILKY CROTCH OOZE. >> BARKING VAGINAL BELCH. >> PROTRUDING VAGINAL BONER. >> DILAPIDATED TITTIES INCORPORATED. >> OH I LIKE THAT. >> ROT TEN BOOBYTURDS. >> NAH. >> BLOODY BUTT COUGH. >> UH-HUH. >> NOPE. >> LUBRICATED TITTY BURGERS. >> THAT'S TAKEN, TOO. INDIFFERENT RECTAL SEMEN SPLOOGE. >> SORRY. >> INDIFFERENT RECTAL SEMEN SPLOOGE IS TAKEN? COME ON! >> HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO NAME OUR STARTUP COMPANY IF EVERY NAME IS ALREADY TAKEN. >> I TOLD YOU YOU JUST HAVE TO BE REALLY ORIGINAL WITH YOU COMPANY NAME.

>> FURRY BALLS PLOPPED MENACINGLY ON THE TABLE INCORPORATED. >> THAT'S AVAILABLE! CONGRATULATIONS! >> IT DOESEN QUITE ROLL OFF THE TONGUE. >> DUDE, WE'RE NOT GONNA GET ANY ATTENTION WITH THAT NAME. >> MAN, THIS SUCKS. >> STAN, AREN'T YOU SUPPOSED TO BE IN SCHOOL? >> NO, DAD, WE DON'T NEED SCHOOL. WE'RE STARTING A STARTUP COMPANY. >> A COMPANY THAT DOES WHAT? >> WE DON'T WANT TO DO ANYTHING. >> THAT'S WHY WE WANT TO HAVE A STARTUP COMPANY. >> WE'RE SICK OF SCHOOL. ALL THE GOOD COMPANY NAMES WERE TAKEN. >> BOYS THERE'S MORE TO STARTING A COMPANY THAN HAVING A CATCHY NAME. >> NO, THERE ISN'T.

>> YOUR GUYS! I HAVE GOT IT. GUYS, I HAVE GOT IT. >> WHAT? >> IT'S THE GREATEST STARTUP COMPANY NAME EVER. >> WHAT? TELL US. >> WASHINGTON REDSKINS. >> WASHINGTON REDSKINS? >> IT'S SO SWEET. >> I'M PRETTY SURE THAT'S TAKEN, CARTMAN. >> IT'S NOT. SOME DUMB COURT THINGIE HAPPENED AND THE TRADEMARK GOT PULLED. WE CAN USE IT! AND THE LOGO. >> WASHINGTON REDSKINS. I LIKE IT. >> ME TOO. >> WHAT? >> DUDE, THERE'S ALREADY BRAND NAME AWARENESS AND IT'S INSTANTLY RECOGNIZABLE. >> WAIT, GUYS, THIS DOESN'T SEEM LEGAL. >> KYLE, YOU'RE NOT HEARING ME. THE TRADEMARK HAS BEEN PULLED. WE CAN DO WHATEVER WE WANT. >> YOU ALL RIGHT, DUDE? >> YEAH. I JUST -- WELL, I JUST THOUGHT OUR COMPANY NAME WOULD BE MORE LIKE -- ORIGINAL. >> IT'S A STRONG NAME, DUDE. IT'S LIKE AGGRESSIVE AND MASCULINE, LIKE BONER FOREST, BUT BONER FOREST WAS TAKEN. >> YEAH BUT MAYBE WE NEED A NAME THAT'S MORE AFFIRMING. LIKE SHOWS WHAT WE STAND FOR. >> WE DON'T STAND FOR ANYTHING. REMEMBER, OUR COMPANY PLAN, GUYS -- >> START UP, CASH IN, SELL OUT, BRO DOWN. >> I'M JUST NOT SURE THIS IS THE NAME PEOPLE ARE GONNA GIVE MONEY TO. >> WE ALREADY GOT A DOLLAR. >> WHAT? >> ONE DOLLAR PLEDGED.

>> I TOLD YOU GUYS! >> ANOTHER STARTUP COMPANY IS GAINING A LOT OF ATTENTION ON THE INTERNET. THEY'RE A COMPANY THAT DOES ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. THEY'RE CALLED THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS. THE REDSKINS STARTED AS WHAT APPEARED TO BE AN ADOLESCENT PRANK BUT ALMOST OVERNIGHT IT HAS BECOME ONE OF THE MOST HEAVILY FUNDED PROJECTS ON KICKSTARTER. WHY DID YOU GIVE $5 TO THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS KICKSTARTER? >> I DON'T KNOW. THEY DON'T DO ANYTHING. I THOUGHT IT WAS FUNNY. >> BY TAKING JUST ONE OR TWO DOLLARS YOU ARE HELPING OUR QUEST TO NOT HAVE TO DO STUFF. IF YOU PLEDGE $10 OR MORE YOU WILL RECEIVE THIS COMPANY MICROBAND. >> IT'S CALLED CROWD FUNDING. USING THE INTERNET TO RAISE MONEY WITHOUT HAVING TO PAY BACK YOUR INVESTORS. A TACTIC THAT SOME BELIEVE IS UNFAIR AND IMPERSONAL.

>> WASHINGTON REDSKINS GO [BLEEP] YOURSELF. SURE WE'D BE HAPPY TO TAKE YOUR MONEY. GO TO OUR KICKSTARTER PAGE. NICE IDIOT. [BLEEP] YOU, BYE-BYE. >> YOU ARE ERIC CARTMAN. >> YES, I KNOW. >> MY NAME IS DAN SNYDER. I'M THE PRESIDENT AND OWNER OF THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS. >> THANK YOU. TAKE A SEAT. >> I WILL SEAT. YOUNG MAN, WE ASK THAT YOU PLEASE STOP USING THE NAME WASHINGTON REDSKINS FOR YOUR ORGANIZATION. >> STOP? BUT WHY? >> BECAUSE WE ARE THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS AND WE ARE A FOOTBALL TEAM. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO USE OUR NAME TO GET ATTENTION. >> THE TRADEMARK GOT PULLED. I'M TOTALLY FREE TO USE THE NAME ACTUALLY. BUTTER, COULD YOU GET THAT. >> WASHINGTON REDSKINS GO [BLEEP] YOURSELF. >> DON'T YOU SEE WHEN YOU CALL YOUR ORGANIZATION THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS, IT'S OFFENSIVE TO US. >> HOW IS IT OFFENSIVE? >> HOW IS IT OFFENSIVE? JESUS! WE ARE A PROUD TEAM, MR. CARMAN. WE HAVE NO WISH TO BE ASSOCIATED TO PEOPLE WHO ACTIVELY DO NOTHING. >> GUY, GUYS. WE HAVE TOTAL RESPECT FOR YOU. WHEN WE NAMED OUR COMPANY WASHINGTON RED SKIN IT WAS OUT OF DEEP APPRECIATION FOR YOUR NAME AND YOUR PEOPLE. >> I KNOW I CAN'T LEGALLY MAKE YOU STOP USING OUR NAME. BUT WON'T YOU JUST DO IT OUT OF DECENCY? >> NO. BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO AND WE CAN'T JUST CHANGE THE NAME OF OUR COMPANY CUZ IT'S LIKE SUPER HARD. BUT HEY, FROM ONE RED SKIN TO ANOTHER, GO [BLEEP] YOURSELF. >> ALL AROUND THE WORLD PEOPLE ARE SAYING THEY ARE INSPIRED BY THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS. THE INTERNET STARTUP COMPANY HAS RAISED SO MUCH MONEY ON KICKSTARTER, THAT NOW MORE GROUPS ARE DOING THE SAME. >> MORE NEWS ON THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS TONIGHT. THEIR DEFIANT F-YOU ATTITUDE HAS NOW CAUGHT THE ATTENTION OF TERRORIST GROUP ISIS. TERRORISTS SAY THEY INSPIRE THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS AND WANT TO FOLLOW THEIR BUSINESS MODEL. >> THERE'S A PEOPLE HERE NOT HAPPY ABOUT THE USE OF THE NAME. THE FOOTBALL WASHINGTON REDSKINS. >> WELL, YEAH, BUT DOES ANYONE REALLY CARE ABOUT THEM? >> DUDE, THIS IS SO COOL!

WE ONLY HAVE SIX DAYS TO GO BEFORE ALL THE MONEY PLEDGED TO OUR COMPANY BECOMES LIQUID. >> GUYS, WE NEED TO TALK. I DON'T THINK WE WANT TO BE A COMPANY THAT ISIS LOOKS UP TO. WE CAN MAYBE ISSUE A STATEMENT SAYING WE DON'T SANCTION IT. >> WE STARTED THIS COMPANY TO DO NOTHING. IF WE START DOING STUFF NOW, IT WILL PUT IT ALL AT RISK. >> PEOPLE AREN'T GONNA LIKE OUR COMPANY IF WE SAY WE DON'T CARE ABOUT ANYTHING. >> THAT'S WHAT THE WASHINGTON RED SKINS ARE ALL ABILITY. COME ON. YOU HAVE TO BE HONEST ABOUT WHAT YOU ARE. ONCE YOU TAKE A STAND ON SOMETHING, YOU'RE PRETENDING THE COMPANY IS ABOUT MORE THAN MONEY. THEN YOU'RE THE NFL AND YOUR PLAYERS GET CAUGHT MOLESTING LITTLE BOYS. >> THAT'S THE CATHOLIC CHURCH. >> NFL R CATHOLIC CHURCH. >> TAKE A MORAL STAND ON ISSUES, YOU SAY YOU'RE ABILITY HONOR AND NEXT THING YOU KNOW YOUR CLERGY MEN ARE BEATING UP THEIR WAOEUFRBS IN AN ELEVATOR. >> THAT'S THE NFL. >> SAME THING. THE POINT IS IF WE AS AN ORGANIZATION CLAIM TO BE ABOUT HIGH MORALITY, SOMEBODY IS GOING TO GET RAPED OR BEATEN IN AN ELEVATOR. AND IT WILL MOST LIKELY BE BUTTERS. >> OH NO. >> ALL RIGHT. I REALLY WANT TO HAVE TO DO THIS BUT I'M NOT HAPPY WITH THE WAY THIS COMPANY IS TAKING. >> WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, GO BACK TO SCHOOL? >> I'M NOT GOING BACK THERE. >> MAYBE I'LL START MY OWN COMPANY. >> WELSH THAT'S FINE. YOU CAN'T CALL YOURSELF WASHINGTON REDSKINS. >> I DON'T WANT TO. IT'S A STUPID NAME! >> WELL, I GUESS EVERYTHING'S OUT ON THE TABLE NOW, HUH CARTMAN? >> I GUESS EVERYTHING IS. >> DAN, DO YOU THINK OUR NAME IS STUPID TOO? >> I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW WHAT MAY FUTURE IS WITH THIS COMPANY EITHER. >> WELL I WISH YOU BOTH WELL IN YOUR NEW ADVENTURE. GOOD-BYE. >> HANG ON. IS THIS THE COMPANY WHERE I DON'T GET RAPED? YEAH HERE RIGHT? OKAY. I'M STAYING HERE.

>> IS THE LEAGUE JUST GOING TO SIT BY WHILE MY TEAM AND MY PLAYERS ARE COMPARED TO ISIS? YOU HAVE TO DO SOMETHING, COMMISSIONER GOODELL. WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS? >> I WILL GET IT RIGHT. AND DO WHATEVER IS NECESSARY TO ACCOMPLISH THAT. >> WHAT? >> WE WILL CONTINUE TO IDENTIFY AND ADD EXPERTISE TO OUR TEAM. >> THAT'S THE MOST RIDICULOUS, NOTHING ANSWER I HAVE EVER HEARD. WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW? >> EVERY ONE WILL PARTICIPATE IN EDUCATION SESSIONS STARTING IN THE NEXT MONTH. >> AWW THIS THING IS BROKEN. >> WE CAN ADD, AND WE WILL DO MORE, DO MORE, DO MORE. >> GET ALL THE NFL OWNERS ON SKYPE! THIS THING IS BROKEN AGAIN! >> SO I CALL UPON THE HELP OF ALL OWNERS, YOU CANNOT LET MY PEOPLE BE BELITTLED LIKE THIS. >> DAN, YOU DON'T WANT TO BE DEALING WITH THIS STUFF. LET THE GOODELL-BOT DO IT. >> I WILL GET IT RIGHT. >> THIS THING HASN'T WORKED RIGHT SINCE WE BOUGHT IT. >> MY TEAM IS STARTING TO LOSE HOPE. YOU HAVE TO USE YOUR INFLUENCE TO MAKE THESE PEOPLE CHANGE THEIR NAME. >> DID YOU TELL THEM WE'RE ABOUT HONOR AND INTEGRITY. >> IF THE GOODELL-BOT IS BROKEN WE MUST STAY OUT OF IT MORE THAN USUAL. >> WHAT IF THEY RIDICULE THE 49ERS YET OR MAKE FUN OF JERRY JONES BECAUSE HIS EYES ARE TOO FAR APART. >> IF WE GET THEM TO CHANGE THEIR LOGO, WILL IT MAKE YOU HAPPY? >> I GUESS WE CAN LIVE WITH THAT. >> IT'S DECIDED. BEGIN MASS BEHIND THE SCENES UNDER THE TABLE ENFORCEMENT OF OUR WISHES NOW. >> GO! >> THANK GOD.

[BLEEP] YOU. [BLEEP] YOU. [BLEEP] YOU OUT THERE. [BLEEP] YOU. [BLEEP] YOU. THOSE WORDS MEAN A GREAT DEAL WITH US. THEY HELP US EXPRESS JUST HOW WE AS A COMPANY SEE THINGS DIFFERENTLY. THERE ARE A LOT OF STARTUP COMPANIES ON KICKSTARTER, BUT AFTER TODAY I THINK YOU'LL AGREE THAT WASHINGTON REDSKINS IS THE MOST EXCITING. AS YOU KNOW, THE RED SKINS HAVE BEEN ON THE FOREFRONT OF KICKSTARTER AS A COMPANY THAT IS ALWAYS FINDING NEW AND EXCITING WAYS TO TELL PEOPLE TO GO [BLEEP] THEMSELVES. NOW OUR COMPANY IS THRILLED TO SHOW YOU ALL OF THE LATEST INNOVATIONS WE'VE COME UP WITH. WE HAVE MOVED THE COUCH FROM THE LEFT SIDE OF THE OFFICE TO THE RIGHT SIDE. WE DIDN'T STOP THERE. WE ALL ADDED A NEW RUG. AND PROBABLY MOST EXCITING OF ALL, WE HAVE ACTUALLY UPDATED THE COMPANY FROM THE INSIDE OUT. WE RECEIVED A LOT OF PRESSURE FROM CERTAIN COMMUNITIES TO CHANGE OUR REDSKINS LOGO. THE COMPANY, WE WANT TO BE FIRM, BUT WE ALSO WANT TO BE FLEXIBLE. AND SO WE THOUGHT IF WE HAVE TO CHANGE OUR LOGO IT SHOULD BE MORE IN STEP WITH THE DAY'S TIMES. WHAT WE CAME UP WITH IS THE NEW COMPANY LOGO THAT I THINK YOU WILL ALL AGREE IS VERY EXCITING. NOW WHEN PEOPLE HEAR THE NAME REDSKINS THEY WILL IMMEDIATELY THINK TITTIES AND BALLS. JUST A BOLD NEW WAY THAT WE CAN SAY WE DON'T [BLEEP] CARE. GO RED SKIN SKWRS

>> IT'S SO AWESOME, DUDE. OUR COMPANY ALREADY HAS 100 BACKERS. WE STILL HAVE 14 DAYS TO GO. >> YEAH. >> YOU OKAY, BRO? >> I JUST -- NEVER SAW MYSELF OWNING A COMPANY CALLED FURRY BALLS PLOP MENACINGLY ON THE TABLE. >> GIVE IT TIME. IT WILL GROW ON YOU. >> WHY DON'T WE JUST CALL IT UNTITLED STARTUP COMPANY. >> BECAUSE THAT SOUNDS LIKE WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING. WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS ALREADY, STAN. >> YEAH, I KNOW THAT. A NEW COMPANY SHOULD NEVER HAVE SEVEN WORDS IN ITS TITLE. >> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? >> I JUST FEEL SOMEWHERE OUT THERE THERE'S A PERFECT STARTUP COMPANY NAME. AND I NEED TO BE FREE TO GO FIND IT. >> OH. WELL, I CERTAINLY DON'T WANT YOU TO FEEL THAT FURRY BALLS PLOPPED MENACINGLY ON THE TABLE IS HOLDING YOU BACK. GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR COMPANY, DUDE. >> YEAH. GOOD LUCK WITH YOURS.

>> IT'S JUST INCREDIBLE, HARRY. EVERYONE IS USING KICKSTARTER FOR EVERYTHING. >> AND FOR EVERY PROJECT FUNDED WE GET 5%. >> IT'S LIKE WE DON'T EVEN HAVE TO DO ANYTHING AND WE JUST MAKE MONEY. >> SITTING ON OUR ASSES HERE WE COME. >> CAW CAWWW. [ ANIMAL NOISE ] >> HUH? UGH! AH! >> AHGHGGH!

>> GOOD MORNING, GUYS! >> HAPPY DEADLINE DAY. >> WE MADE IT, GUYS. WE CAN FINALLY STOP DOING STUFF AN SEE HOW MUCH OUR COMPANY MADE IN FOUR, THREE, TWO, ONE -- THAT'S THE DEADLINE! >> OH BOY, THIS IS LIKE CHRISTMAS MORNING! >> WHAT THE HELL, CAN'T FIND THE SERVER. KICKSTARTER.COM. >> KICKSTARTER, WHERE IS KICKSTARTER. GET IT UP ON YOUR PHONE, BUTTER THES. IT >>'S NOT COMING UP ON MY PHONE. HOLY MOTHER MARY. SOMEBODY RAIDED KICKSTARTER AND THEY BURNED THE BUILDING TO THE GROUND. >> WHAT? >> SOMEBODY KILLED KICKSTARTER. >> WHO WOULD BURN KICKSTARTER TO THE GROUND? >> OH MY GOD. THAT WEIRD LITTLE JEWY GUY. KYLE!

>> WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG? CAN'T FIND THE SERVER? KICKSTARTER. >> YOU SON OF A BITCH! >> WHAT? >> YOU BROKE KICKSTARTER. >> NO I JUST CAN'T GET IT TO LOAD. >> NOBODY CAN, IT'S GONE! YOU JUST COULDN'T TAKE IT THAT OUR COMPANY WAS MORE SUCCESSFUL THAN YOURS WOULD EVER BE. >> MY COMPANY WAS ON KICKSTARTER TOO. >> WELL SOMEBODY DID! >> IT DOESN'T MATTER YOU GUYS. THERE'S SOMETHING A LOT MORE IMPORTANT HERE. DO YOU GUYS REMEMBER WHEN WE FIRST DECIDED TO START A COMPANY TOGETHER? SOMEWHERE BETWEEN STARTING UP AND SELLING OUT WE LOST OUR WAY. WE CAN'T DO THIS ON OUR OWN. WE NEED EACH OTHER. >> HE'S RIGHT. WE SHOULD DO A MERGER. >> A MERGEER? >> IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT. KICKSTARTER IS GONE. WE DON'T HAVE A COMPANY. WE DON'T HAVE ANYTHING! >> YES, WE DO! WE HAVE A SWEET NAME. >> I WAS WRONG, CARTMAN. WASHINGTON REDSKINS IS THE PERFECT NAME. I THINK MAYBE I WAS JUST JEALOUS THAT I DIDN'T COME UP WITH IT. >> IT IS REALLY SWEET. >> WE ALWAYS SAID THAT ALL WE NEEDED WAS A SWEET NAME AND THE REST WOULD FIGURE ITSELF OUT. >> YEAH, WE CAN DO IT FELLAS! IT EEL BE LIKE OLD TIMES. >> WHAT DO YOU SAY, CARTMAN?

[BLEEP] YOU! [BLEEP] YOU EVERYONE! YES, [BLEEP] YOU ALL. THANKS! HOW YOU STAY RELEVANT IN A VOLATILE MARKET PLACE? AS YOU KNOW OUR GOAL IS THE WASHINGTON RED SKINS IS TO NOT DO ANYTHING AND MAKE MONEY DOING IT. >> WHEN KICK STARTER WENT DOWN MANY SAW THEIR STARTUP PROJECTS DIE BUT HERE AT WASHINGTON REDSKINS WE SAW OPPORTUNITY. PEOPLE STILL NEED A WAY TO RAISE MONEY FOR THEIR STUPID STARTUP PROJECTS. AND WITH THE REDSKINS YOU CAN NOW GO FUND YOURSELF. THE IDEA IS SIMPLE. YOU, THE PEOPLE, GO OUT AND RAISE ALL YOUR OWN MONEY AN GIVE THE WASHINGTON REDSKINS 5%. >> YOU WILL LITERALLY BE GIVING US MONEY FOR DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. IT IS THE BIGGEST [BLEEP] YOU WE HAVE EVER COME UP WITH. WE DIDN'T STOP THERE. THE NEW COMPANY DIRECTION ALSO MEANS A COURSE A NEW AND IMPROVED LOGO. [ CROWD CHEERING ] >> GO REDSKINS