“I can’t keep my hands off them”

Ask any college-aged male what first comes to mind when you say “Hess Village“, and the answer is always “women.” That’s why, Kendall Glansitch, owner of the hot new club, Fondle, is hosting the biggest, outdoor mud wrestling competition in International Women’s Day (IWD) history.

“I love women. That’s why I own an exclusive nightclub. It’s their bodies – there’s nothing like it. My waiting staff always says can’t keep my hands off them, and it’s true. That’s why I knew I had to do IWD this year – Fondle-style.”

“This is the wrong guy for IWD”

Goderich is drawing some negative attention, too, with claims he’s missing the point. Gladys Pointer, the president of McMaster’s student womyn’s club says, “This asshole doesn’t get it’s a day about empowerment, not subjugation. He’s disrespectful to his waitresses, and he never has to play by the rules. This is the wrong guy for IWD.”

“I’ll be front row, throwing mud and spreading awareness”

Racy flyers claiming, “The Hottest, Bustiest, Wettest Women’s Day Ever!!!” did attract Councillor Scott of Ward 16. “I’ll be front row, throwing mud and spreading awareness.”

Despite the vicious debates, it’s expected that several hundred will attend today’s events. If you feel your employer is acting inappropriately, please see the resources below:

Hamilton’s Resources for women:

Hamilton Sexual Assault Centre – http://sacha.ca/

St. Joe’s Immigrant Women’s Centre – stjosephwomen.on.ca/

Hamilton 24hr Crisis Lines:

Native Women’s Centre 1-888-308-6559

Fem-aide 1-877-336-2433 (Women dealing with violence)

COAST (mental health) 905-972-8338

Good Shepherd 905-523-6277

Inasmuch House 905-529-8600

Hamilton Interval House 905-387-8881

SACHA 905-525-4162

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