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Lately, a childhood teaching to be childlike has really bothered me. My father taught me that the ideal state of being on earth is to be childlike. This was one of the reasons he gave me for why even adults should not watch R-rated movies. I learned to value the innocence and purity of children, and strove to be the same. I was taught that to be of the world is enticing and exciting, but ultimately destructive. It was best to not know of worldly things.



The teaching to be childlike is very frustrating to me because I believe it makes people more vulnerable than necessary. Coupling this idea with blind trust for other members of the religion, a dangerous state of naivety emerges.



Being innocent and childlike also means you are lacking life experience necessary to overcome major trials. Red flags are unseeable and intuition is buried. Children are expected to follow their parents’ requests without thinking for themselves. When a child questions their parents they are often met with, “Because I said so.” Leaders of controlling organizations want to do the same. Being childlike is a way for leaders to control their followers.

Questioning Authority

Questioning was never expressly forbidden in my home or in the Mormon church. However, the answers you receive use deflection. A few of my favorite examples are:

“If you pray with a sincere heart and open mind, all will be revealed to you in the Lord’s time.”

“I know without a doubt that the church is true. This is Satan trying to deceive you.”

“You just have to have faith!”

“You must faithfully pray and read The Book of Mormon, and the truth will be revealed to you.”

“There are some things we just don’t know in this life.”

“We just have to have faith and in the next life it will all make sense.”

“If you were more obedient or worthy, you wouldn’t have this question.”

As adults and parents, it is our job to put safety first. Our life experiences, including our mistakes and the bad things we have experienced, allow us to make decisions about our safety and the safety of the people we are responsible for. Regressing to childhood cannot be the answer because it would disregard the wisdom we gain by experiencing life. Refusal to be a part of the world allows people who recognize your innocence to potentially exploit you and those you love.



My Feelings About Abducted in Plain Sight



Lately, the Netflix documentary, Abducted in Plain Sight, has been extremely popular and so many people condemn the parents. I’ve seen countless posts on social media, stating How could they not know? How could they have waited so long? How could they let that man lay next to their daughter? These questions are legitimate, however, I’m disheartened that the documentary did nothing to address them.



The parents of this documentary were raised Mormon in a whole city of Mormons. The man who manipulated them was also Mormon. He was able to play on their naive, childlike personalities by exploiting their weaknesses and threatening the standing in their community. It is hard to understand living in such a controlling community unless you’ve been in one.



Completely surrounded by people who will judge their every move and shun them if they misstep; the parents’ fear of losing the only life they knew trumped all decision making. Even now in 2019 people who don’t follow the line within communities like this one have major social pressures and hurdles, such as finding a job. The upbringing of the parents in this documentary created underdeveloped decision making and critical thinking skills. They had no practice or experience in situations where a trusted person acted untrustworthily. As a result, they proceeded to make a series of terrible choices that upon hindsight were obviously the wrong choices.



Don’t get me wrong, I believe the accountability lies in the parents’ decisions they made at the time. Just as I hold my young daughter accountable for her decisions. However, I have so much compassion for them. My heart aches for them, and how they must feel about it now. Their childlike innocence they cultivated as good Mormon children, teenagers, adults, and parents thwarted their ability to act on the signals from their intuition.

I’m so proud that they were willing to admit their faults to the world, despite the repercussions they must be experiencing. This documentary basically hung them out to dry, and I hope they can find love, hope, and happiness following the aftermath of its release.



Leaders Worth Following



Leaders who truly value the opinions and experiences of followers are much more valuable to their followers. Followers of leaders who refuse to be challenged are typically trying to utilize their followers, usually for money.



The best leaders to follow are ones that allow you to completely question them. Especially if that leader will show their humanity by admitting to mistakes and be brave enough to evolve their leadership with the needs of their followers, rather than a personal sense of power. Wouldn’t it be refreshing to have a leader who could say to their opposition, “I see your point, so how can we compromise?” We should e ndorse leaders who still hold up after intense scrutiny.



“Loving your neighbor” does not mean “blindly trust your neighbor.” Innocence is vulnerability not “purity.” Experience is the only way to gain wisdom. Being childlike, means you have no knowledge or skill. Therefore, it is dangerous for an adult to be innocent, and striving to be childlike causes harm to those who pursue it.



Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this post check out some of my others! I post every week about my journey of living Post-Mormonism. See you next time!



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