1. WEAR ENOUGH RED LIPSTICK TO PAINT A TRUCK

“Anytime I need male attention, I just put on so much red lipstick, I pretty much need a paint gun to get it all on. I’m talking about basic fire-engine-red lipstick, and enough to paint a truck. Any guy sees those puckered red lips, and his blowjob sirens start screaming in his head. I can wake up in sweatpants with circles under my eyes and a nasty case of bedhead, but if I shovel on some red lipstick and go outside, I pretty much have to beat the men off me with a baseball bat. Red lipstick. It’s all a girl ever needs.”

—Kathy, 23

2. DAB ON SOME ‘NATURAL PERFUME’

“If I’m at a club or a bar and want to attract men, I’ll just go into the bathroom, stick my fingers up between my legs, swirl my fingers around up inside my kitty, then dab the moisture behind my ears and on my wrists. Works like a charm every time. Don’t believe me? Try it.”

—Ria, 27

3. WEAR A PUSH-UP BRA

“It’s a scientific fact that men lose 50 IQ points at the mere hint of boobs. They can’t help it; it’s in their wiring. Poor little boys! So if I need an ego boost, I just cram my boobs into my tightest push-up bra and head out on the town. It’s like presenting two jugs of fresh milk to a dozen starving alley cats. Like I said, they can’t help it.”

—Indira, 24

4. ANY MENTION OF SEX

“I don’t care about makeup or Pilates or fingernail polish or high-heel shoes or any of the other worn-out tricks that girls use to try and snag a guy. All you have to do—trust me on this, it’s been battle-tested—is mention sex. No, I don’t mean come out and say, ‘I want to have sex with you.’ Just mention sex in any context. Talk about the mating habits of meerkats. Talk about how some poor girls can’t even have orgasms. Talk about how at any given moment, there are 100 million people having sex across the planet. Talk about how Americans are sexually repressed. If you want to be really obvious, sigh and say it’s been a long time since you’ve had sex. But I’d counsel against the obvious approach. Start with the meerkats and work from there.”

—Bobbi, 28

5. SMILE

“Men have this thing in their brains where when you smile at them, the message they don’t get is, ‘I’m happy’—they hear, ‘I want to have tons of wild monkey sex with you right here on the bar.’ So if you want sexual attention from men, just smile at them. They are complete and utter suckers for it.”

—Cindi, 24

6. TOUCH HIM

“When I want a man to sexually objectify me—and let’s be honest, what woman doesn’t, so long as she’s attracted to the man in question?—I’ll just give him a light touch. I’ll gently tap his arm, clasp his hand for a half-second, give him a playful shove, grab onto his shoulder and say something sincere to him while looking straight into his eyes, or even something tiny like picking a piece of imaginary lint off his shirt. Once you’ve touched him, you’ve broken that invisible ‘force field,’ and all the other touching will come easy.”

—Debbie, 29

7. ACT CLUMSY

“Spill or drop something in front of him. Act like you tripped over his foot. Or even spill something on him and apologize profusely as you’re rubbing it off him with a paper towel. Or even better, drop something in front of him, then bend over and pick it up so he gets an eyeful of your booty. Sorry, but guys don’t want to see strong women. They want to see clumsy girls who have trouble figuring out directions out of their own driveway. If you act clumsy and helpless, you’ll trigger the caveman-protector inside him.”

—Julie, 20

8. TWIRL YOUR HAIR

“Nothing says ‘push me down and fuck me right here’ to a guy better than playing with your hair while you’re talking to him. You could be talking about string theory and particle physics, but if you play with your hair while you’re doing it, you can pretty much lead him around by his dick like he’s a dog on a leash.”

—Marie, 27

9. MAKE EYE CONTACT

“Look him straight in the eyes. Do not break eye contact. Pretend you’re using your eyes to burn an imaginary hole in the back of his head. And then when he’s looking back, arch one of your eyebrows seductively. You can then pretty much lead him into the bedroom by his necktie.”

—Brittney, 28

10. AVOID EYE CONTACT

“Stare at him until he notices that you’re staring, then the minute he looks at you, look away and pretend you’re ashamed that he caught you checking him out. This is a foolproof method, because it fools them every time. Actually, I’m not sure if that makes it ‘foolproof’ or the opposite—but it works!”

—Belinda, 31

11. COMPLIMENT HIM

“Compliment him. About anything, no matter how mundane. They’re suckers for it. If you compliment a man, what he hears is, ‘I want to fuck you RIGHT NOW.’ You could be in the middle of saying, ‘Hey, that’s a really nice jacket,’ and he already has half of his clothes off.”

—Kristine, 24

12. GIGGLE

“Giggle. Even if it makes you sound like an idiot. No, actually, especially if it makes you sound like an idiot. There will be plenty of time to show him how smart you are once you’ve captured him. But if you want to cast a net that’s sure to ensnare him, giggle like you’re too dumb to get the joke but are laughing anyway. Yeah, I know it’s insulting to both parties. But hey, I don’t make the rules—I just report them.”

—Amy, 25

13. SMIRK

“When I’m hungry for some male attention, I’ll just put a smirk on my face like I know sexual secrets about everyone in the room. It’s like magic! It’s like I’m a snake charmer and suddenly all the snakes are standing at attention, facing me. Guys find it unbearably sexy. I’ve seen myself doing it in bar mirrors, and I have to admit—it’s pretty sexy.”

—Ashley, 21

14. SIT ALONE AT A BAR

“Are you kidding? If a girl wants to get laid, all she has to do is sit at a bar alone. If a guy sits alone at a bar, people move away from him, but if a girl does, it’s like bees to honey.”

—Crystal, 24