CAPTAIN'S LOGE, ENTRY ONE EIGHT ZERO.



I'VE LET SNIPPY DRIVE THE TAXI-SKY-BOAT TODAY.HE DROVE IT STRAIGHT INTO A BREEZY HURRICANE, WINNING THAT EMPLOYEE OF THE MONTH PLAQUE YET AGAIN.THIS HAS OF COURSE DISPLEASED PILOT, BUT I TOLD HIM THAT HE TOO WILL SOMEDAY OBTAIN THIS GROOVY AWARD IF HE KEEPS BELIEVING IN HIMSELF.IN THE MEANWHILE, DOCTOR ENGIE IS AVOIDING WORK BY DAY-DREAMING OF ANNIE AND NOT EVEN THE EXCESSIVE DRUM-ROLL OF THE CLOUD-BAND AND FLASH-BANGS OF THE SKY-STAGE CAN DISTRACT HIM FROM SUCH FOCUSED THOUGHTS.THE CITY OF LOVE AND CURVY BREAD AWAITS US!TO INCREASE OUR RATINGS, I'VE DECLARED A MOST WEBCAM-IZED GAME OF CASH-CAB.HERE'S THE SHOW'S TRANSCRIPT, IN CASE YOU SWITCHED THE CHANNEL AT THE WRONG TIME:CAPTAIN-HOST:GREETINGS, OUR BOOBISH VIEWERS!TODAY ON CASH-CAB WE HAVE 3 SEXY RIDERS EACH OF WHICH WHICH SHALL ANSWER 3 QUESTIONS OF INTEREST! IF THEY GET THEM ALL WRONG- THEY SHALL BE EJECTED FROM THE TAXI! IF THEY GET THEM RIGHT HOWEVER, THEY SHALL BE REWARDED WITH FABULOUS PRIZES!...SO, INTRODUCTIONS ALL AROUND!WHAT ARE YOUR NAMES?Rider 1: I AM PILOT!Rider 2: ...what? Are you actually going to throw us overboard?Rider 3: ...HOST-CAPTAIN: INDEED! THAT IS THE POINT OF THE GAME! NOW WHAT'S YOUR NAME, RIDER NUMBER 2?Rider 2: You god damn well know my name!Pilot: HIS NAME IS SAUSAGE! I VOUCH FOR HIM!Sausage: My name is not Sausage!HOST-CAPTAIN: HELLO, MR SAUSAGE! AND WHAT CITY ARE YOU HAILING FROM?Sausage: My name is not...HOST-CAPTAIN: MNISNOT? MINISNOTTA IS INDEED A LOVELY TOWN. NOW, PASSENGER NUMER 3- WHAT'S YOUR NAME?Rider 3: ...Pilot: HER NAME'S ANGIE! SHE'S A SHY PRINCESS FROM MARIO-LAND!HOST-CAPTAIN: THANK YOU, MR PILOT. NOW ONTO OUR GAME!Sausage: What? Where did these flashing lights come from?HOST-CAPTAIN: I GET TO ASK QUESTIONS! YOU ONLY NEED TO PROVIDE THE ANSWERS!Pilot: YES SIR! I AM SO READY FOR YOUR QUESTIONS! I'VE STUDIED FOR 1203944 HOURS FOR THIS TEST! I CANNOT FAIL!HOST-CAPTAIN: QUESTION ONE FOR IS FOR MR PILOT: WHAT NUMBER AM I THINKING ABOUT?PILOT: NUMBER TWO!HOST-CAPTAIN: WRONG! IT WAS THE LETTER "B".PILOT: NUUUOOOOOOOOOOO.Sausage: ...and how was he supposed to know that?CAPTAIN-HOST: MR SAUSAGE! WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOR?Sausage: Umm... Red?HOST-CAPTAIN: CORRECT!HOST-CAPTAIN: MS ANGIE! WHAT IS SO FRAGILE THAT WHEN YOU SAY ITS NAME YOU BREAK IT?Princess Angie: ....CAPTAIN-HOST: CORRECT! THE ANSWER IS SILENCE! NOW MR PILOT- WHAT IS THE WEIGHT OF THE UNIVERSE VISIBLE FROM EARTH?Pilot: IS IT THE LETTER "B"?HOST-CAPTAIN:NO! THE WEIGHT OF SUCH IS 6E52 BAKED SALMONS.MR SAUSAGE! WHERE ARE WE CURRENTLY?Sausage: Sigh ...In the sky?HOST-CAPTAIN:CORECTOMUNDO! MS ANGIE- WHAT IS THE SOUND OF PAINT DRYING?Princess Angie: ...HOST-CAPTAIN:WELL ANSWERED! PAINT INDEED DRIES QUIETLY!NOW, MR PILOT- WHAT IS YOUR QUEST?Mr Pilot: Uhhhh....To be a sign-painter?HOST-CAPTAIN:WRONG ANSWER!YOU ARE TO HUG THE GROUND FOR US SO THAT WE MAY DECELERATE!THANK YOU FOR PLAYING CASH CAB!Sausage:Did you just shove Pilot out of the tub with a rope tied to his ankle?HOST-CAPTAIN:INDEED. NOW, WHAT LESSON DID YOU LEARN TODAY?Sausage:ಠ_ಠHOST-CAPTAIN:WRONG! THE LESSON OF THE DAY IS THAT REALITY TV CAN NEVER BE TRUSTED!YOUR PRIZE FOR ANSWERING TWO OUT OF THREE QUESTIONS IS THIS EXQUISITE NUGGET OF KNOWLEDGE!CONGRATULATIONS!