Another year, another litany of screaming, nudity and dogs (though not, alas, screaming nude dogs). From the Peninsula and South Bay crime blotters of 2014 come these eyebrow-raising reports.

NEIGHBORS

Redwood City, April 11. A man was reported to be hitting golf balls into his neighbor’s yard. The neighbor told police that she hadn’t known how her window got broken several months earlier, but now she does.

Belmont, April 11. A resident reported that a neighbor shook her wind chimes and yelled, “I hope you can hear this.”

Fremont, Jan. 15. A man was wearing a dress and blowing a whistle while walking around his neighborhood.

San Mateo, Jan. 14. A man accused neighbors of changing washing machine settings and taking his laundry.

Burlingame, Aug. 11. A resident reported a neighbor who is loud and produces strong food odors.

Redwood City, May 14. A woman complained that her upstairs neighbor has a loud fan and uses drugs and that it smelled like someone nearby was burning dog feces.

Redwood City, April 19. A woman said that after she complained to her upstairs neighbor about water getting into her apartment, he sprayed her with a hose.

Redwood City, Aug. 3. A woman said her neighbor blocked her driveway and acted like he was going to throw a wet rag at her car.

San Mateo, Nov. 7. A resident complained of getting headaches because of a neighbor’s constant opening and closing of a patio door.

Redwood City, June 25. A woman who discovered the tires on her vehicle had been slashed also noticed a neighbor laughing.

Belmont, July 4. A woman said people attending a block party were parking badly and being rude to her. The police advised her they cannot force people to talk nice to her.

NOISE

Redwood City, Nov. 1. Police were unable to locate a man yelling “please arrest me.”

Redwood City, Oct. 29. Police were unable to locate a male and female yelling “help” in a cemetery.

Atherton, July 2. A person parked in a driveway at 1 a.m. with his headlights on was yelling “Mohammed” for 15 minutes.

Burlingame, Jan. 16. Strange electronic noises at a residence were determined to be coming from an old refrigerator.

Belmont, May 31. A person calling in a noise complaint suspected the source was a neighbor’s ultrasonic machine.

Burlingame, July 17. Loud singing was coming from a church.

Newark, May 17. A man yelling profanities in a park turned out to be upset about a story in the local newspaper about his recent robbery arrest. He was searched and arrested again, for illegal possession of drugs.

Foster City, March 15. About 25 men were reported to be making a lot of noise during “some type of cultural game” on a Saturday morning. Police determined they were playing baseball. The men said they would be quieter.

Atherton, March 25. Repeated gunfire was reported. An officer traced the noise to a starter pistol being used at track practice.

Emerald Hills, Oct. 15. A caller reported that his elderly neighbor turned up the sound so loud while watching porn movies that everyone in the caller’s house could hear, including the children.

STRANGE BEHAVIOR

Burlingame, Feb. 5. A man on a bike was seen hitting car mirrors. Police responded and determined the mirrors now needed readjustment.

Campbell, March 7. A man showed up at a residence, slapped one person and spit on another and then left.

Redwood City, Sept. 7. A man wearing a Halloween mask was yelling and banging on an electrical box with a stick.

Burlingame, Oct. 1. A man was walking around shouting and wearing nothing.

San Mateo, April 12. A bald man with dark brown pants and a white shirt came to a person’s door screaming, then turned around and walked away.

Burlingame, April 10. An older man was knocking over garbage cans and howling at the moon.

Redwood City, May 19. A middle-aged man was screaming and hanging socks on a person’s fence.

Redwood City, June 17. A person suggested a welfare check on a man who was talking to himself, to a traffic cone, and to a shoe in the street.

SUSPICIONS

San Mateo, March 5. A bearded man seen trying car door handles was reported to be wearing khaki clothing and an Irish cap and walking funny.

San Mateo, April 16. Two men were feeling hoods and tailpipes of parked cars. One was wearing a green hat and the other a tan sweater.

Redwood City, Feb. 19. Two men in a green Honda told a passer-by he looked suspicious. The passer-by identified himself as a law enforcement officer and said they looked suspicious, too, because all the cash they were handling made it appear that they were selling drugs.

Foster City, Jan. 16. A woman reported feeling uneasy about three young men she’d never seen before. They were sitting on a bench and wearing black baggy clothing.

Redwood City, Feb. 11. A homeowner was suspicious about three young men who came to her door saying they were college students looking for work. All were wearing black jackets. One had a mustache.

Burlingame, March 21. A resident suspected the people who came to her door were not really Jehovah’s Witnesses. Police contacted them, and determined they were indeed.

Redwood City, March 19. A man in his 50s standing next to a tree, talking into a fake cardboard phone and making strange comments about girls and Santa Claus was making parents uneasy.

Redwood City, March 21. A woman told police a man in the food court had smiled strangely when he touched her 5-year-old daughter’s head.

Redwood City, Sept. 15. A woman told police she didn’t care so much about a large white work truck that hadn’t been moved for several weeks but said she was concerned about the condoms, undergarments and pregnancy tests that had accumulated outside the truck.

Redwood City, June 27. When asked what they were doing, two men on a ladder leading to a balcony said “nothing,” folded up the ladder and walked away.

Half Moon Bay, April 7. A shelter-in-place order was issued for three hours for schools and businesses until a bomb squad determined that the odd device in the middle of the road — a PVC pipe with a piece of string on it — was a homemade paintbrush holder that had fallen off a work truck.

Redwood City, June 25. A person who saw a half-dozen shoes sitting out on the corner thought it odd and notified police.

Atherton, April 16. A person reported seeing someone in a suspicious car, a dark blue Honda or Nissan, make an odd gesture at another driver.

Belmont, March 20. A driver made a U-turn. A witness thought that was odd and called police.

Belmont, Aug. 7. A woman having trouble with her house key thought that was strange and notified police.

Belmont, Aug. 14. A woman who found something brought it into the police station to find out what it was.

Burlingame, Jan. 29 (1:30 a.m., Chapin Lane). A resident reported seeing the trunk of a parked car close as he returned home. An officer responded and saw nothing out of the ordinary.

Burlingame, Jan. 29 (9:01 a.m., Chapin Lane). A resident reported seeing a man climb out of the trunk of a parked car and drive away.

BABY, WHERE DID OUR LOVE GO?

Redwood City, Aug. 2. A man complained that his wife was going around slamming doors while he was trying to watch television.

Redwood City, June 17. A man whose wife locked him out of their apartment conceded to police that she may be trying to break up with him.

Burlingame, June 21. A man reported being followed by his wife.

Burlingame, April 6. A man accused his soon-to-be-ex-wife of hiding his car.

San Mateo, March 12. A man accused his wife of going crazy and throwing a TV tray at him.

Redwood City, Feb. 8. A man hit his wife with a paper plate, according to his mother.

Redwood City, Jan. 13. A woman told police that her ex-boyfriend was on his way to her parents’ house to show them pictures she’d prefer they not see.

Foster City, March 10. A woman reported to be screaming at her husband and throwing things was contacted and determined to be having labor pains.

Burlingame, March 21. A man was seen throwing a woman in bushes. Police responded and spoke with the couple, who appeared happy and denied fighting.

KIDS

Atherton, April 24. Three fifth-graders at Selby Lane School were accused of consuming alcohol before class.

Belmont, Feb. 13. Four boys, including one with pink hair, were trying to set fire to wood chips behind the library.

Burlingame, June 4. A jogger reported being chased by teenagers.

Belmont, June 2. A woman reported having in her office a piece of wood with an inappropriate message on it. She told police it had been written by a student and was possibly meant for a counselor.

Foster City, Nov. 21. A man told police his 10-year-old son was refusing to listen. He then called back and canceled his request for help, saying the boy had started listening.

Burlingame, May 30 (1:36 p.m.) Children were “playing chicken” in traffic near McKinley Elementary.

Burlingame, May 30 (4:43 p.m.). Children were playing near the train tracks.

Burlingame, May 30 (8:51 p.m.). Gunshots were reported near McKinley Elementary.

Foster City, April 14. Children were climbing trees in a park.

DOGS

Foster City, Aug. 4. A BMW was parked for hours with its hazard lights flashing. Police responded, found a dog inside and determined the animal had hit the hazard button.

Burlingame, Aug. 14. A man was arguing with the owner of a dog that had urinated on his bike helmet.

Montara, Feb. 20. A man had thrown a stick at a dog that approached him in an aggressive manner. The dog’s owner challenged the man to hit him with the stick instead, and the man took him up on the invitation.

Redwood City, Aug. 13. A blind pit bull was reported to be chasing people.

Burlingame, June 8. Two dogs were reported to be chasing a cat.

Campbell, May 26. Police arrested a man who was intoxicated, wanted for a parole violation and in possession of a stolen Chihuahua.

Belmont, July 17. A Chihuahua was detained.

Redwood City, Oct. 26. A man called to report an emergency: His mother had called him a dog.

OTHER ANIMALS

Atherton, Oct. 27. Police received a report of 70 goats on a property and promised to follow up with the homeowners.

Redwood City, May 15. Loose goats from a neighboring property were reported. Hundreds of them.

Belmont, July 7. A caller reported seeing a baby deer, uninjured and just walking around. Police advised the caller that the situation was not a 911 issue.

Half Moon Bay, Aug. 3. Four men allegedly crabbing out of season denied possession of the 63 live crabs the game warden discovered.

Burlingame, June 8. A man observed peering under a parked car at 3 a.m. told the responding officer that he had hit a raccoon.

Belmont, June 24. A person was afraid to open a door due to a growling raccoon outside.

Burlingame, March 5. A woman told police she had been feeding wild animals and now felt in jeopardy while doing so.

FOOD & DRINK

San Mateo, Nov. 21. A man standing outside a 7-Eleven was drinking a beer he had refused to pay for and eating a banana.

Newark, June 4. A man walked into KFC and grabbed a customer’s bag of chicken. He was eating it outside when the officers arrived.

Redwood City, Feb. 1. A man had reportedly been pushing a cart around a store and eating cookies for five hours.

San Mateo, Nov. 12. The King of Nicaragua — or so he claimed — was standing outside Outback Steakhouse demanding a free meal.

Redwood City, May 29. A restaurant employee reported being pelted with rice by a man upset about how long he had to wait for his food.

Fremont, May 31. A 28-year-old man involved in a solo collision boasted of having consumed 24 beers.

Fremont, July 22. A man who reportedly had stolen a bag of hamburger buns from The Counter was located with a bun in each hand. He told police he was a federal agent, and then scuffled with them.

Redwood City, March 7. A cereal box was found smoldering outside a door.

Belmont, Nov. 13. A homeowner reported his house had been egged overnight. How many eggs? One.

DRESS AND UNDRESS

Foster City, June 6. A man reportedly driving a truck while dressed only in underwear showed police that he was in fact wearing swim trunks.

Belmont, June 18. A man was sitting on a couch in a hotel lobby with his pants around his ankles.

Redwood City, July 5. A man wearing a bathrobe took possession of a rental car from a hotel parking valet. Shortly after he drove away, the theft was discovered when the legitimate renter showed up in the lobby to claim his car.

Redwood City, June 6. An intruder was discovered inside a person’s garage shortly after midnight. He was wearing a white hat, cowboy vest and jeans.

Burlingame, April 10. A suspicious man was reported. He was wearing a Miami Dolphins beanie and blue latex gloves.

Burlingame, June 11. A man wearing a plastic glove was observed approaching a parked car. When he saw he was being watched, he ran away.

Redwood City, June 13. A man wearing a plastic hat was reported to be taking recyclables.

Burlingame, June 10. A man’s assertion that he had been assaulted was deemed unfounded after police found out that the alleged assailant had merely knocked off his hat.

Redwood City, Aug. 7. A homeless man known for his dress code issues was reported to be making people uncomfortable again, this time with his exposed bottom.

Belmont, July 13. A naked man was reported climbing a pole near the Mercedes Benz dealership at Highway 101 and Ralston.

Belmont, June 15. A man wearing an orange shirt and nothing else was reported to be running in traffic and trying to remove a manhole cover.

HAIR

Burlingame, June 7. A transient entered a shop and asked for a comb.

Redwood City, June 27. A person with a furry face was yelling at people.

Foster City, Nov. 24. A juvenile reported that he had fled to a neighbor’s house because a frightening man with dreadlocks was trying to enter his home. He then called back to report that he realized the intruder was his brother.

San Mateo, May 15. A man who found “an expensive hair-grooming piece” told police he wanted to turn it in and would be waiting in the middle of the parking lot.

Burlingame, Jan. 3. A hair stylist notified police that a man had brought in his wife and requested that her hair be shaved off.

San Mateo, Nov. 14. A boy told police a man with a bowl-shaped haircut about 40 years old tried to lure him into a car.

MAKE YOURSELF AT HOME

San Mateo, Sept. 23. A man who had been at Denny’s since the previous day was lying on a couch there and refusing to leave.

Redwood City, Nov. 16. A man refusing to leave a business’s bathroom was reported to have his pants down, his shirt open and to be heavyset.

Half Moon Bay, Sept. 24. People entered rooms left unlocked by a hotel housekeeper, locked the doors from the inside, showered and left by the windows.

Woodside, Sept. 13. A man who urinated on the bumper of a parked car outside the Pioneer Saloon was cited on a waste-dumping violation.

ON THE JOB

Burlingame, Feb. 27. A resident reported that a man had taken her outgoing letters from her mailbox. Police responded and determined the man to be a postal worker.

Atherton, Feb. 25. A person who saw a news van in a driveway and a reporter talking with neighbors assumed they were trespassing and called police.

Foster City, Sept. 19. Ten suspicious males reported to be wearing the same shirt and hanging out near the pool were contacted and determined to be construction workers on a lunch break.

Redwood City, Feb. 5. A man reported being sold a gaming system that he suspected had been stolen after a co-worker said he believed the device was his.

ON THE ROOF

Belmont, April 20. Firefighters assisted a man who had gotten stuck on the roof while attempting to retrieve his toy helicopter.

Newark, Nov. 24. Police cited a man on the roof of Cinedome 7.

Belmont, July 24. A resident asked to speak to an officer about people walking on her roof in the evening.

Redwood City, Jan. 14. A man who caused a disturbance was reported to be sitting on top of a car and talking to himself.

Burlingame, Jan. 3. Police admonished a boy riding a bike on the roof of a bus.

IN HIDING

Fremont, Aug. 6. Employees arriving at Jamba Juice at 5:30 a.m. were startled by a person who jumped out of the ceiling, ran to a vehicle and sped off.

Belmont, Aug. 1. An intoxicated man was reported to be hiding in the bushes and refusing to pay his taxi fare.

Atherton, July 14. A male who appeared to be hiding behind a tree was determined to be the neighbor’s housekeeper.

WORDS & PICTURES

Burlingame, Nov. 6. A person overheard a woman at Washington Park tell two other women that she was not a drug dealer.

Redwood City, Nov. 12. A woman told police that people were looking at her funny and when she asked what they were looking for, one of them said “compassion.”

Foster City, Feb. 1. A man sitting in a driveway with a smashed guitar, a large whiteboard and writing materials was determined to be a resident of the house.

Burlingame, Jan. 6. A man sporting a photo of a male body part on his T-shirt was reportedly encouraging girls to have a look.

Redwood City, Sept. 21. A man on a street corner was reported to be holding a “will work for food” sign in one hand and his private parts in the other.

Redwood City, Jan. 8. A woman requested that a man holding a sign that said “Homeless and Sexy” be arrested for prostitution.

SOLICITATIONS

Burlingame, June 5. A resident reported receiving unwanted marriage proposals over the phone.

Belmont, June 15. A person reported getting several calls a day from someone who doesn’t say anything, except occasionally “goodbye.”

Burlingame, June 22. A resident reported a man at his front door who asked if he had peace of mind.

Fremont, May 28. A resident reported a suspicious man at her door who asked about her interest in pest control and also questions about when her husband was home.

Redwood City, July 16. A man told police his neighbors were harassing him and his wife, knocking on their door and telling his wife she should leave him, that she could do better.

PETTY THEFT

Campbell, June 4. A person distracted a store clerk while an accomplice got away with a blender.

Campbell, April 12. A breast pump was stolen from a car.

San Mateo, Jan. 17. Bricks were stolen from inside a house.

Newark, Jan. 29. Three cars were burglarized in two church parking lots. The take: a Bible, a Bible tote bag, a knitting bag, and three shopping bags.

WEAPONRY

Burlingame, Oct. 5. A man moving out of his house reported being struck with a vacuum cleaner on his way out.

Half Moon Bay, Oct. 7. A man accused a woman of throwing hot coffee on him at a City Council meeting. She said it was tea and that she had tripped.

Redwood City, Nov. 7. A woman said she was struck by a pebble thrown from a passing Mustang convertible.

Foster City, Oct. 15. A suspicious man reported to be carrying power drills on a walking path told police that he was using the drills as substitutes for weights.

LONG FUSE

Burlingame, April 23. A man reported being followed by unknown people since Monterey.

San Mateo, Feb. 11. After thinking on it for six weeks, a person reported being treated inappropriately by a cab driver on New Year’s Eve.

Foster City, Jan. 9. A woman reported receiving wrong-number calls at her home for the past four years.

SHOCKER

Woodside, Nov. 25. A woman who left her purse on the seat of her unlocked car while she was hiking at Wunderlich Park returned to find her wallet missing.

San Mateo, Oct. 1. A man found out the iPad he bought from a man at Jack’s Car Wash was stolen property.

STUFF OF NIGHTMARES

Atherton, Oct. 26. A bicyclist saw what appeared to be a man in the bushes with bullet holes in his head, which spooked her so badly she swerved into the street and almost got hit by a car. When she investigated, it turned out to be a dummy. Police had a look and determined the Halloween decoration was legal.

San Mateo, Nov. 2. A woman who returned to her apartment after an evening out found a teddy bear in the hallway when she returned. She walked out and called police.

Redwood City, Oct. 21. A person reported seeing “skin” in bushes.

Redwood City, Nov. 16. A person reported finding strands of hair on the street with possible blood.

Half Moon Bay, May 27. What was reported as possible human remains turned out to be vegetation, namely fruit.

Foster City, Oct. 15. A resident reported that someone had drilled a hole and bugs were flying out of it.

SATURDAY, APRIL 12, BURLINGAME

321 Primrose Road, 9:44 a.m. A man left behind his wallet and his clothing when he stumbled out of a cafe.

225 Primrose Road, 2:44 p.m. A man who appeared to be in his 30s and a girl who looked half his age were reported to be sitting on a bench outside Yogurtland and kissing.

Gilbreth and Cowan roads, 3:40 p.m. Two people and a dog were reported to be in suspicious vehicle — a Bentley — outside a closed bakery.

1600 Old Bayshore Highway, 6:07 p.m. A man was throwing cookies at patrons entering Elephant Bar.

Best of the Atherton police blotter

Best of the police blotter, 2015

Best of the police blotter, 2013

Best of the police blotter, 2012