Is there a less convincing confection than the childhood struggle of Ivanka Trump? Some of you may recall the faintly excruciating anecdote in her inspiration-tome-cum-memoir where the future first daughter set up a lemonade stand. Alas, the Trump estate in Connecticut was so vast that it was bereft of anything that might constitute passing trade. “We had no such advantages,” Ivanka laments, and consequently her father’s servants are required to make up the footfall and spend their own money on the wares. The moral of this, apparently, is that “the kids made the best of a bad situation”.

Ivanka’s latest tin-eared attempt at winsome reminiscence comes in Raising Trump, a book tenuously curated by her mother, Ivana. Raising Trump is about parenting (although its title clearly nods toward the 15-year toddler-wrangle that was Ivana’s marriage to the future president), and our business today is with a contribution from Ivanka relating to her teenage years. In it, the first daughter reveals an obsession with Kurt Cobain, which, in a confusion of genres, she seems to elide with a punk phase.

“One day after school,” recounts Ivanka, “I dyed my hair blue. Mom wasn’t a fan of this decision. She took one look at me and immediately went out to the nearest drugstore to buy a $10 box of Nice’n Easy. That night, she forced me to dye my hair back to blond. The colour she picked out was actually three shades lighter than my natural colour … and I have never looked back!”

Mmmm. I’m afraid the shade name for this anecdote is Golden Guff. For those of us who’ve forgotten more about hair dye than even the Trump ladies have ever known, its fatal weakness is clear. You simply cannot override blue hair with blonde Nice’n Easy. You can maybe turn it green, but that’s it.

Still, who wants to read some dreary relatable memory of her mother closing the Trump Tower hair salon for the day and ordering the staff to fix it? I far prefer the fantasy of 1990s Ivana Trump tottering off to Duane Reade in her pink satin couture Versace suit (though I think even her helps had lesser helps to go to the chemist for them at that point).