Agency psychics traveled back to the year one million B.C. to talk to the “ones who sleep through the storms”

In 1984, the Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) sent a psychic back in time to talk to Martians. This is not code language. The CIA sent psychics back in time to talk to Martians because the CIA had time-traveling spacefaring psychics. Nothing else we could say would make more sense given what the CIA had and did.

Backing up a bit - by the mid-’80s, the Agency’s remote viewing program, perhaps a bit bored of doodling pictures of feet and squiggles, decided to set their second sight on something a tad more exciting - the planet Mars, in the year one billion B.C.

As most of these exercises were attempts to gauge the accuracy of psychic readings, it’s a little odd they’d choose a a subject that’s pretty damn near impossible to get a second opinion on, but that’s neither here nor there. Besides, the remote viewer immediately hit it out of the park, describing the famous Okra Pyramids of Mars.

Shortly into the session, the viewer stumbled upon what appeared to be native life - a tall, thin people with strange clothes. The monitor, understandably excited at the prospect of psychic first contact, pressed further.

The viewer tracked these people to a series of pyramidal dwellings, and at this point, the monitor decided to abandon the original mission of identifying old rocks in favor of finding out what an ancient alien’s house is like.

Upon further investigation, the viewer determined that the pyramids were stasis chambers of some sort, which the Martians were using as shelter against the violent storms outside.

The monitor directed the viewer to find out more about the hibernating aliens, or as they put it:

That’s a prog rock album title right there.

The viewer then “spoke” to the OWSTTS, who were A) on the verge of extinction, and B) pretty chill about it.

The OWSTTS seem pretty chill all around, treating the viewer as a particularly inquisitive hallucination.

As for why they were there, the OWSTTS had apparently suffered from some sort of environmental catastrophe, and this particular group was waiting to hear from scouts who had gone searching for someplace safe.

(As for the nature of the environmental catastrophe which wiped out the native population of Mars, the viewer, understanding that this is a bit above his pay grade, just describes it as “all very cosmic.”)

While the fate of the scouting party is ambiguous, the viewer implies that it might not have gone that well - and the OWSTTS might be sleeping for a long time.

Perhaps they sleep still.

Having felt like they accomplished enough for one day, the monitor brought the viewer back to 1984. And while there’s no indication how their superiors reacted to being told their psychics had gone off-script to hang out with aliens a million years ago, it’s worth noting that the first of several budget cuts that led to the gradual dissolution of the program was only a few years away.

Read the full report embedded below.

Image via ION