Hotel California reimagined for Tottenham Hotspur. With sincere apologies to The Eagles, writers Don Felder, Glenn Frey, Don Henley and producer Bill Szymczyk.

Instrumental here.

Hotel ITK



On a dark twitter timeline, I.T.K makes me glare

Warm smell of bullsh*t, makes me pull out my hair

Up ahead on NewsNow, I saw an enticing link

Spat out coffee, eyes popped out of my head

I had to browse and couldn't blink

There it stood between adverts;

I read the cryptics well

And I was screaming to myself,

"This could be factual or this could be fail"

Then I switched on Sky Sports, Jim White showed me the way

There were texts on my iphone,

I thought I saw them say...



Welcome to the Hotel In the Know

I want to punch their face (Want to punch their face)

Want to hurt with mace

Plenty of lies at the Hotel In the Know

Always twice a year (Always twice a year)

You will find them here



His mind is definitely twisted, he's got copy and paste

He got a lot of silly, silly blogs but not an ounce of taste

How they post with their comments, sickly sycophants

Why bother with this, he's not clairvoyant



So I called up the Phantom,

"Please who shall we sign?"

He said, "Blue yellow done and dusted he's one of a kind"

But I tell him to f**k off, I'm way out of line,

So I'm kicked off the forum by the admin

And I'm banned for life...



Welcome to the Hotel In the Know

They never get it right (They never get it right)

Make things up each night

They never commit at the Hotel In the Know

Always twice a year (Always twice a year)

I will always jeer



Luka, there's no feeling,

Hope you get head lice

Daniel Levy said "You signed a contract fool, keep you here for life"

And all our transfer targets,

Their clubs refuse to talk

Villas-Boas wants to sign Moutinho

But there's no pen we just stalk



Last prayer I remember, I cried

'Transfer deadline is here'

I had to pray for goals galore

Where is that forward Adebayor?

"Signed" said the chairman,

"Yes we've concluded a deal.

It's Jermaine Jenas on a long term contract,

you're not dreaming, it's for real"