The dilemma I graduated last summer with a first-class degree in medical sciences from a well-regarded uni. I worked extremely hard, but have little experience that can be used in the working world. I have applied for more than 70 jobs over the past 17 months, as well as 10 Masters and PhD studentships, and have been met with constant rejections. I can’t stop the negative spiral of thinking, largely based on how useless I feel and how pointless my existence is. I live in a destitute coastal town and currently wash dishes in a nearby restaurant. There are no opportunities to gain laboratory experience without volunteering in the nearest city, which is three hours away and I cannot afford to move there. I have no appetite and like to be completely alone. I cry most days and do not have any friends. Through LinkedIn, I see most people I went to university with have moved on with their lives. I try to exercise, but cannot seem to make myself feel mentally well. I have reached out for career help, but been told my CV seems fine and to keep trying, which I am becoming tired of hearing. I am stuck.

Mariella replies Hello out there. I’m so glad you wrote. One thing is very clear – you write a good letter! I might not want to live in a “destitute coastal town” but it’s a vivid and evocative way of describing your location. It won’t help you to know how many thousands of young people like you are struggling against the odds. Despite the crisis among our youth we remain fixated on our dysfunctional divorce from Europe. Instead of conjuring new opportunities, we’ve spent the past years blaming the lack of them on our nearest neighbours.

I fear for us all when it’s revealed that it wasn’t migrants or Europeans who are responsible for our stagnation, but a series of UK governments more interested in hanging on to power than leading their citizens towards a prosperous and sustainable future.

It’s been rage more often than not that has dragged me up

This may seem too big a picture to be helpful, especially considering the microscopic place you’re allowing yourself in the universe, but understanding that your situation isn’t personal is a very important first step. Robert Kennedy once exhorted warmongers, “Don’t get mad, get even,” but I think getting angry can be very healthy indeed. It’s been rage more often than not that’s dragged me up from the gutter.

You’ve sought career advice, which is sensible, but you need clinical help to overcome the torpor you’re experiencing. Try rethink.org as a first step. Depression can indiscriminately afflict the most fortunate as well as the least and, just because your case seems a justifiable reaction to your circumstances, it doesn’t mean you can allow it to dictate your actions. You have every right to feel the way you do. It’s bloody hard to keep motivating yourself when doors are being shut in your face, but perseverance is exactly what’s required. Mustering resilience and determination is directly at odds with what depression makes you feel like doing. Ideally, jobs sustain and inspire us, but for the vast majority of people employment is what you do to facilitate a life outside of work.

You have had a great education and done brilliantly, but it hasn’t covered how to survive in a big bad world that seems blind to your imprint. That’s where determination comes in. There are actually many avenues you could go down without costs that could open up doors, but you need to muster the strength to embark on what might seem like another cul de sac.

If I were your age, I’d be getting involved in politics. We desperately need young, intelligent, articulate people to change the downward trajectory. Joining a local group won’t cost money and won’t solve your professional woes, but it will put you among potentially like-minded people, who want to improve the town’s fortunes and may even become friends. Similarly, I’d have thought that you would be a very well qualified volunteer, whether for a project, an NGO abroad, or an organisation nearer where you live. A burst of philanthropic activity won’t look at all bad on your CV and may provide the sort of larger horizon you really need. Be the change you want to see, said Gandhi – and there is not only sense in his statement but also a call to arms.

You are not alone, or unique, but one of the many thousands of young people struggling to find meaning, purpose and something to do with their degree. Social media tells you your colleagues are achieving, but it is not realistic: lives filtered through online prisms are not representative and in your current state of mind is an unhealthy focus. A “destitute coastal town” with everything to fight for might actually be the perfect platform to make a difference. But first you need professional support for the illness your circumstances have provoked. Don’t be afraid to get help, or step away from your qualifications temporarily, to locate greater meaning in your life.

If you have a dilemma, send a brief email to mariella.frostrup@observer.co.uk. Follow her on Twitter @mariellaf1