Have you ever had a relationship with someone who appeared loving and interested in the relationship, only to later pull away when things got too “involved?” Did you raise a child who would hug you and show you unconditional love one moment, and the next totally detach from you as if you were a stranger? What about your own mother or father. Did they love you in a strange way, often equating “separateness” or “independence” with love or strength? If this sounds familiar, then perhaps this article is for you. About 5.2% of the US adult population is affected by avoidant personality disorder and almost every contributor (about 60) in the comments section claimed to have experienced a relationship with avoidant characteristics. This article will explore avoidant personalities and offer tips on how to cope with an avoidant personality.

Most of us struggle with attachment and need an appropriate amount of time to develop an intimate, loving relationship with someone else. Even children learn to love their parent(s) overtime and through various experiences. We don’t come into this world loving anyone, we grow to love someone and to cherish who they are. Once we understand who that person we love is, we develop normal attachments that help us communicate our needs, wants, and hopes. A wife learns that if she talks to her husband after work, she will more than likely be able to get him to fix the garage over the weekend. Or a son learns that when he draws his mom a picture she will make him his favorite dinner. Healthy human relationships are reciprocal and we understand what keeps relationships healthy and moving forward. We don’t typically fear abandonment, rejection, or loss without reason. We don’t feel the need to carry this burden. Healthy relationships are stable because everyone in the relationship understands boundaries, needs, wants, weaknesses, and even strengths.