The year was 1983 and volleyball was everywhere! Beaches! Family reunions! Multiplexes (provided you were there on the single day that the awful volleyball movie Spiker probably ran in theaters!)

Spiker tells the story of the men whose dream it is to represent the United States in the Olympic volleyball championship. It’s a lofty goal that requires sacrificing your career, enduring brutal training, and forsaking personal relationships. These men are, of course, idiots. But it’s all worth it for the shot to compete on the highest stage in something that dozens of people consider a legitimate sport.

You’ll meet all the volleyball hopefuls: Sonny, Newt, Catch, and several more who presumably also have terrible names. You’ll marvel as Spiker morphs from a dumbass Top Gun ripoff into a hamfisted cold war parable. You’ll wonder how on earth one movie can possibly contain this many scenes set in regional salad bar buffet restaurant Souplantation and—OH MY GOD, are they really going BACK to Souplantation?? They were just eating there!! I thought this was supposed to be about volleyball!!!

Grease up, crank “Playin’ With The Boys”, and join Mike, Kevin, and Bill for Spiker!

Written by: Mike Nelson, Bill Corbett, Sean Thomason, Conor Lastowka

Contributing writer: Zachary Shatzer