King David's Capo Discovered

ISRAEL—Researchers have stumbled across what promises to be a revolutionary discovery in the world of biblical archaeology: the capo King David used when playing his harp.

Historians now believe King David played all songs in the key of G and just moved the capo around when he needed to raise or lower the pitch. The other chords were "really hard" and he didn't want to have to learn a B minor, F, or C#m.

"It seems he only knew like, four chords---G, D, Em, and C---so the capo let him play in different keys when needed," said one researcher as he dusted off the ancient device. "He'd slickly switch the capo around while everyone was distracted by his sermonette."

"When worship leaders use a capo because they can't be bothered to learn more than four chords, they're following in the footsteps of the great psalmist himself."

They also found the clip-on tuner he used to tune up while praying between songs, his flannel shirt, and bits of hair from his well-groomed beard.

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