The North Carolina Diamond Heels went 47-12 and earned the second overall seed in the NCAA tournament, which starts on Friday. They’ll get to host tournament games until they are eliminated or make the College World Series and travel to Omaha. One may assume that this is because they are stocked with skilled hitters and pitchers, and while they are indisputably talented, they also have something no other rival team has: Remington.




Remington is a 2-year-old golden retriever whose official title with the team is psychiatric medical alert facility rehabilitation service dog, which means that he does little jobs like haul baseballs from one place to another and just sort of hangs around and does dog stuff. As much as Remington appears to be a great talent (unlike bat dog Yogi Berra, who did a turd on the field during a minor league game), his chief utility is providing companionship. Rehabbing an injury is probably arduous work, and a fluffy retriever in a charming little vest probably eases the psychic burden.


As a school press release that continually spelled his name in all caps said, Remington (or REMINGTON, if you prefer) helps athletes recovering from surgeries “turn the corner emotionally.” He knows 100 commands, which seems like a lot.

Did he write this? Probably.

If Remington excels on his SATs (which might not be that big of an issue for UNC), maybe he can join the team someday.