But the most salient issue in taxpayers’ minds is how the changes would affect their own standard of living. Truly wealthy families wouldn’t have to alter their spending at all. Neither my friend nor I is in that league, but we’ve both saved a lot and could easily maintain our current spending levels even if the president’s proposals were adopted.

Many families with income of $250,000 and more do spend everything they earn, and, of course, would have to cut back. As psychologists have long known, individuals typically find belt-tightening painful. But recent psychological research suggests that if all in that group spent less in unison, their perceptions of their standard of living would remain essentially unchanged.

That’s because once consumers move out of the realm of necessities, they focus on what the late British economist Fred Hirsch called positional goods  things that stand out from the ordinary, or whose value stems largely from the fact that not everyone can have them. Homes with spectacular views are an example, as are high-performance cars, designer clothes and gourmet meals. A modest increase in top tax rates would not compromise prosperous families’ abilities to enjoy such pleasures.

Consider a hedge fund manager who wants an apartment with a sweeping view of Central Park. Because the supply of such apartments is limited, he must outbid others who also want one. If his tax rate rises, he won’t be able to bid as much as before. But because others’ tax rates will also climb, they won’t be able to bid as much, either. So the tax increase, if it applies to all bidders, will not affect the outcome.

With less after-tax income, top earners also wouldn’t be able to spend as much on cars or their children’s weddings and coming-of-age parties. But why did they feel compelled to spend so much in the first place? In most cases, they simply wanted a car that felt spirited, or a celebration that seemed special. But concepts like “spirited” and “special” are inescapably relative: when others in your circle spend a lot, you must spend accordingly or else live with the disappointment that results from unmet expectations.