Finale Fireworker said: I think most men (or cishet men) define themselves by what women think of them. Whether it's "women" in general or the opinion of a significant other. Men measure themselves by their ability to attract women, so criticism from women always lands hard on me. Criticism from men feels competitive. Criticism from women feels like they're right.



It only took one woman to tell me I was being sexist once. I took it so personally that it's never been a problem again. At least not that I am aware or have ever been told. Click to expand...

Sir TapTap said: Something I don't see discussed often is how this sexism cuts both ways like this. Men being defined by attracting/dominating women is shit for us too. Yes I know it hurts us "less", but I think it would help some people be empathetic to the cause if this were discussed more. Better to do good for a selfish reason than not at all. Click to expand...

Quoted myself too just for clearer context moving forward.The truth is that, on a wider scale, there is really deeply institutionalized gender system all over the world. This is totally separate from "boys like blue, girls like pink!" as a societal construct. Consider this biology:If the whole natural purpose of sex is procreation, women are significantly more valuable than men. One tribe of 100 women could create 100+ offspring with only 1 man. But a tribe of 100 men and 1 woman is doomed. They are dead in a generation. Basically, a population of men is not necessary to the survival or procreation of a species.This puts men in a situation where they need to compete with each other for a woman's attention. They need to make themselves standout among a population of men that makes them individually inconsequential. This is why sexism exists in men: they need to diminish women in order to inflate their own importance. They need to build themselves up and mentally construct superiority because deep down there is the fact of the matter that they really don't serve a large biological purpose. As soon as a woman can perform the same job they can, or occupies a space they consider masculine, they no longer have anything to offer to the female.This is why it's "women and children first," it's why men go to war, and it's why men are especially tender and vulnerable to female criticism.Of course society and human existence beyond the sole purpose of procreation changes this. But really deep down, I think this is the root of hostile sexism, especially in a work environment. I say this both as a man and as somebody who has studied anthropology. Sure, sexism goes both ways. But it affects us less because men have established the system. We feel extra bad when a woman laughs at us, but usually men will return that anxiety doubly on another woman. Like the workplace or that psychopath who attacked a sorority earlier this year.