We begin with a lovely example of how George's tickets usually are. Note the strange spacing, the awful grammar, and general weirdness. However, I can't fault him terribly over-much, since there are some days I wish we really did have an anti-Norton virus.

One of the printers is acting weird. George is typing weird. Note the use of the word "havening". This is a word that George uses often—hey, at least he's consistent. I believe "firing" refers to the Fiery printer controllers we have at work, but who the hell knows?

Havening again. George is always havening things. Today, we're havening problems getting nocked of the network. George is havening problems thinking coherently.

Yeah, and never will I figure this out on my own.

Everyone else's internet is OK. It's just hers that is screwed up.

Really? Will she be using Powerpoint for the presentation she is havening over Powerpoint on the March 16?

Anybody read The Wheel of Time? I think a computer with Lan on it would be scary. You'd press ctrl-alt-del and he'd pop out and kick your ass.

Some of these tickets speak for themselves. This time, not only is the user havening problems, she isn't even recievening any error messages.

Really? What is it eating?

George went through a period of time where he called a computer a "cp", apparently a cross between "PC" and "CPU". I need to needed tell him to stop it.

And you can bet that I brung it down what-good.

So, it's fixed?

Because what? Funny, I don't remember ever havening a conversation about this issue.

Oh, man. This one gets my vote for "Best George Ticket of All Time". My hole area can't send e-mails either, but I don't consider that a problem. Perhaps I'm just different.

Riiiight. This is one of those problems where you go down to the user and say, "Okay, now, the Helpdesk wasn't very clear as to what's happening down here. Would you explain it to me from the beginning?"

Well, at least he didn't type "dick space" instead of "disk space".

Really? Is that really what it said?

Are you sure?

I cried when I read this.

Guess I better do something, or we might not get paid. Or something.

The user needs to do what to whom? And with how many servers?

Wow. Just...wow. And I have to work with this guy.

I hate it when I don't even have read access to my computer. I can't even turn it on!

I would like to havening not read b0rked tickets.

Yeah, I don't blame her. I wouldn't have told him anything either.

Yeah! That's the spirit! "I think I'll have to reinstall Networking on...oh, the hell with it! I'll just replace the damn thing!"

Okay. I'll get right on that. How many boxes it is? When he like it install?

AAAARGH! Adobe WHAT? ADOBE WHAT? Does she have problems with MICROSOFT, TOO?