This photo set showed up on my dash (from here), and it got me thinking…

(Model: Matt MacNichol. Photographer: Marcus McCormick.)

My first thought was, “oh hello”.

My second thought was, this chap would be fine fodder for the “Fake Geek Boy” meme, the one that applies the same standards to cute guys in geek-themed clothing that angry entitled straight guys stupidly and reflexively fling at women. “She doesn’t even read the comics, she’s just wearing those clothes to get attention.”

And then I thought, man, wouldn’t it be great if cute boys actually were wearing Superman t-shirts just to get my attention? There’s no shortage of guys in the world with Superman t-shirts, Superman belt buckles, Superman key chains, even Superman tattoos. Imagine if they were all doing it just to flatter me. Bring it, boys.

And then that made me sad for straight guys. Because they’ve concocted this same fantasy - that women are doing this to get their attention - but in their version of the fantasy it makes them angry.

Geek fiction teaches us to imagine the impossible, and yet the most compelling fantasy these guys can come up with is one in which people they’re attracted to wear clothes that make them more attractive to them and that’s… bad?

I suppose it’s all about the lack of follow-through. Having decided that women are doing all of this to get attention, they’re frustrated to discover that these women are not flinging themselves at every nerd male they encounter - and specifically not at them.

The aphrodisiac qualities of a Graffiti Designs graphic tee are noted in polite society, but doesn’t it seem like all that constant flinging would get exhausting after a while? Perhaps remembering (or learning) that women possess autonomous desires and the ability to make decisions informed by events and context will help these gents understand why a nerdy woman at a convention or a comic shop is not just a dervish of lustful excess. If we understand that a woman in a geek t-shirt can’t be expected to indiscriminately satisfy all the nerds she encounters, it shouldn’t be too hard to understand why she isn’t jumping on you right now. Even though she’s wearing a t-shirt with Batgirl on it.

Men, of course, actually are always just one embossed invitation away from humping anything that evokes a vague sense of pareidolia. And yet, even knowing that, and speaking as a man who enjoys the company of men, I am still able to contain my bitter resentment at the idea that a man like that fella up top might wear a Superman t-shirt without first winning a Superman trivia contest, and I can accept that his wearing that t-shirt does not mean that he and I will end up doing the ol’ hologram-embossed triple-gatefold. If the image that this guy represents is just a fantasy, that’s great, I love fantasies!

So, wear your Superman t-shirts, boys. Make my days that little bit brighter. In my head, you’re all undressing me with your X-ray vision.

But you should know that I’m more of a Thor guy.