DES MOINES, IA—Expressing glee with a series of yelps and shrieks, local drooling imbecile Andrew Gardner was giddily rocking back and forth in delight Tuesday while watching the official Arby’s account clap back at Burger King on Twitter. “Ahahahaha!!! Arby’s didn’t come to play! Epic burn!!!” said the over-stimulated dimwit, who was so unable to contain his joy after seeing that Arby’s had tagged Burger King in a picture of a dumpster with the caption “Loving the new @BurgerKing menu” that he excitedly stomped his feet and shit his pants. “They’re saying that Burger King is trash! Hahahaha!!! Yesss!!!! Oh my gosh. Me love Arby’s now!!!” Sources later confirmed that after Arby’s tweeted an image advertising their new Big Kahuna sandwich, the numbskull desperately tried licking the computer screen.

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