592 views

Bitfinex being a bag of dicks Bitfinex being a bag of dicks

Bitfinex being a bag of dicks

00:00 - 00:05 So we lost our banking with Wells Fargo in April 2017

00:05 - 00:07 Then we lose $30 million in August 2016 because we didn't use 2FA

00:07 - 00:10 Then Friedman LLP cucks us and refuses to audit our reserves in January 2018

00:11 - 00:16 While the CFTC subpoenaed us in December

00:17 - 00:21 But we legally couldn't say shit

00:21 - 00:24 So we decided to take matters into our own hands

00:29 - 00:31 And

00:31 - 00:34 We started pretending we were the Federal Reserve

00:38 - 00:40 We started literally printing money

00:41 - 00:47 And we printed over 750B Tethers in Janurary alone

00:47 - 00:50 While wash trading on our own exchange

00:50 - 00:56 And acquiring more lube for CME/CBOE Futures

00:58 - 00:59 And this is while we liquidated shorts on Bitmex and Kraken

00:59 - 01:01 And then we paid Spoofy to spike the price

01:04 - 01:06 Of BCH on GDAX to 9000 USD

01:06 - 01:08 We cleared the entire orderbook

01:13 - 01:14 and GDAX had to suspend trading

01:14 - 01:16 Not once, but twice

01:16 - 01:20 And r/bitcoin fucking a had a stroke

01:21 - 01:27 Meanwhile

01:35 - 01:36 We are still printing millions of dollars

01:36 - 01:39 But we paid off coinmarketcap to not update our marketcap until Feburary

01:41 - 01:44 Anyways, getting back on topic

01:44 - 01:47 Tethers are supposed to be backed 1:1 USD

01:47 - 01:49 Key part: "Supposed to"

01:50 - 01:53 But legally, our Terms of Service states otherwise

01:54 - 01:56 We don't have to redeem Tethers for USD

01:56 - 01:58 But we'll gladly take your USD for Tethers

01:58 - 02:02 And people still believed we were solvent

02:05 - 02:07 And to quote Mark Zuckerberg:

02:10 - 02:11 "They trust [us]. Dumb Fucks."

02:11 - 02:13 We had the entire market by the balls

02:15 - 02:17 Not just this year

02:17 - 02:20 But since 2013

02:21 - 02:28 We also liquidated @Bitfinex'ed at $1200 as a joke

02:29 - 02:30 Now he fucking hates us, just look at his twitter

02:30 - 02:32 We destroyed some tethers for the first time in Janurary, he probably noticed

02:36 - 02:39 But they were actually the 30 million that we "lost" in August

02:40 - 02:42 We knew that we would lose our banking relationships,

02:50 - 02:55 And we doubled our ETH Tethers from 30m to 60m

02:56 - 02:58 And no one noticed?

02:58 - 03:04 No one noticed because Etherdelta is shit.

03:04 - 03:09 Also, about the "audit" that was supposed to happen

03:09 - 03:11 We had a shareholder tell everyone that we had the money instead

03:16 - 03:20 Much easier that way, you know?

03:23 - 03:26 Now with India FUD and the SEC, BTC is less than $8500