Yesterday, we introduced Rick and his companion Spotty. Today, we will get to know a typical Rick Perry supporter, Jane, and tomorrow, we will spend some time with Rick’s special friend, Jesus. On Thursday, we will compare Rick to the rest of the Republican field, and on Friday….well, Friday’s a long way away, we will think of something by then.

See Jane vote.

Vote, Jane, vote!

Jane votes for Rick because he is tall.

“I am tall, too,” says Mitty the Kitty.

Jane votes for Rick because he has big hair.

“I have big hair, too,” says Mitty.

Jane votes for Rick because he hates gummit.

“Say what?” says Mitty.

Gummit, Mitty, gummit. Pay attention. This is Texas for Christ’s sake.

“I hate government, too,” says Mitty.

Jane votes for Rick because he loves Jesus.

“I love Jesus, too,” says Mitty quietly, in case Joseph Smith is listening.

“Good, Mitt, good,” says Jane.

“Will you vote for me, Jane?” says Mitty.

No, no, no.

Jane will not vote for Mitty the Kitty.

Jane will vote for Rick.

Vote, Jane, vote!

“Don’t cry, Mitty, don’t cry,” says Jane.

Jane will vote for Rick because she is a farmer.

Farm, farm, farm.

Does Jane grow corn?

No, no, no.

Jane does not grow corn.

Does Jane grow vegetables?

No, no, no.

Jane does not grow vegetables.

Does Jane raise beef?

No, no, no.

Jane does not raise beef.

Well, how in the hell does Jane pay her bills?

Jane gets a check every month from the gummit.

Oh no, not the gummit! Is Jane a deadbeat?

No, no, no.

Jane cannot be a deadbeat.

Jane is not black.