Let’s start out with a little background, paint a little landscape for you in order to frame what I am about to say. I am a Rangers fan. I sat in the blue seats while Mario Lemieux scored six goals in one game at Madison Square Garden. I didn’t leave. I watched and learned that greatness sometimes is stronger than will alone.

With that said, on Tuesday night, these 2013-2014 Rangers had neither greatness nor will.

But this rant is not about that. It is more specifically about rumblings in the organization that the young squire, Tomas Hertl, was showboating when he scored all nine goals against the Rangers after… Oh, it was only four goals? Not only was it four goals, if you took those goals out of the equation, the Rangers still lose 5-2. So after all is said and done, should Hertl not have his coming out party untarnished by those who would claim showboating has no place in this league?

At the beginning of last season, I wrote a piece on why there should be more douchers in hockey. This right here is a great example of why. The exposure this smiley, baby-faced little podling with the rear end the size of Jaromir Jagr and the cajones the size of cannon balls, has gotten in the past two days has been not only breathtaking, but also important for hockey. People love a scene (see: NBA and Lebron James).

If I were in the New York Rangers organization, I would figure out how to fix the piss-poor slot coverage instead of trying to rain on the Hertl Power parade. You know who isn’t whining about showboating? Many players in the league have congratulated Hertl for breathing life into a San Jose franchise that just can’t seem to get over the hump.

Think about Jumbo Joe Thornton, whose comment today has drawn ire from the stuffed shirts, and have been applauded by just about every decent journalist anywhere – along with millions of fans. Anyone who is condemning these comments either has no sense of humor, or needs to find themselves a surgeon to remove the giant lead pipe from their bowels. And honestly, anyone who wants to defecate on what young Sir Hertl did on Tuesday should probablyseek out the same services.

To Washington Capitals bench boss Adam Oates specifically, I would like to say this: If you do not think that what Tomas Hertle did on Tuesday was not elite skill, then you have no business coaching Alex “King of the Douchers” Ovechkin. Ovechkin REGULARLY makes his opponents look silly. Not only that, Ovechkin takes it to the next level by celebrating with pure joy and exuberance unmatched by anyone. Oates, shame on you, if you’re asking Ovie to curb that joie de vivre.

To the New York Rangers who grumbled amongst themselves so silently that there wasn’t even a solid quote: I don’t hear any of your fans grumbling about the Hertl between the legs embarrassment of a 7th goal. Mostly I hear myself and the rest of Blueshirt Nation grumbling about how bad we looked defensively in 2 out of our 3 premier games in this young season. If I were Team Vigneault, I’d be more worried about how they’re going to fix the slot coverage in their defensive end instead of whining about how one young forward’s exuberance earned him a place on the bench for the balance of the game.

I say “bravo”, Tomas, I look forward to seeing many more nights like that from you. And to Jumbo: If you score 4 goals in a game this season, I will make sure NOT to tune into the post game report. That’s not the kind of hockey porn I want to see.

And THAT, my friends, is the last EFFIN’ WORD!

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