This week's installment of our weekly interview series, Love, Actually, is with Adrienne (a pseudonym), 36, a New Yorker who's in an open marriage and users Tinder to meet guys around the world.

I've been married for nine years, and with my husband for 14 years. We met in college. I went to law school and was studying abroad one summer in Barcelona. I was pissed that he wouldn't come visit me. I wound up having a lot of flings there, with guys and girls—nothing serious though.

After Spain, I took a break from law school and got a random advertising job. After a few months, I started feeling exhausted. I thought I had mono, but I was actually pregnant. I wasn't sure if it was my boyfriend's or from someone I'd met in Spain. My boyfriend left the decision up to me, but he was happy when I decided I didn't want to keep it because he wasn't in a place to think about having kids.

I was so far along that the local Planned Parenthood wouldn't perform the abortion. It was still legal, but it was past the point at which they were comfortable doing the procedure, so they referred me to a doctor. I'm calm in really stressful situations. I told myself, if this were dangerous, they wouldn't allow it to happen. It was actually very quick.

I got pregnant again a year and a half later. That time freaked him out a little more. He was older and our relationship was more serious; I was perfectly okay with it though, and with the decision not to keep it. But from that point forward, our sex life diminished quite significantly. We both fell into the mindset of, we've been a couple for a few years, we'd rather go out to eat than go home and have sex.

I tried all sorts of birth control pills that didn't help. I felt like they were making me a little crazy in terms of mood swings. To combat that, I first went on Zoloft, then Wellbutrin, but I was getting so fat it was making the situation worse. Instead of helping us to have a healthy sex life, the pills made me feel fat and crazy, so after a few years, I quit them all. When I went off everything, I got my personality back, but our sex life still didn't pick back up.

I'm in the legal industry, and I travel at least once a month for work. I'd be away in some fabulous city, have a sick hotel room, a good per diem, and I was by myself and lonely. In 2014, my sister showed me Tinder; she said she was meeting all these guys.

A few weeks later, I was drunk at a bar. I set up a profile, and within 20 minutes a guy was texting me that he was around the corner and wanted to meet up. I told him I was married and just doing it for fun. He said we don't have to do anything, so I agreed and within minutes he was at the bar. We spent the night drinking and when he dropped me off at my hotel, I said he could come in. We slept together and used a condom. After that, I figured if I'd done it once, I could keep doing it.

I basically told him, it's either divorce or open marriage.

At first, my rule was to do it only away from home but eventually I started to do it in New York too, but sometimes it would be awkward. Once I ran into my friend and her baby on the way to meet a guy. I didn't want it to get back to my husband.

After about six months, I told my husband. I didn't like the secrecy. We'd been having the same conversations about our sluggish sex life, so I basically told him, it's either divorce or open marriage. He suggested I go to therapy, and the therapist said I was putting myself and my husband at risk, but I didn't agree. I know what I'm doing.

Finally, after about six months, I convinced him to give open marriage a chance, and now he's as comfortable with it as I am. I get to do my thing, and he gets to do his. He even sleeps with a woman who lives in our building. I'd rather him be doing it than not do it, I want him to have that enjoyment in life. If you're sleeping with me or somebody else, you should be doing it with someone.

I get to do my thing, and he gets to do his. He even sleeps with a woman who lives in our building.

I'm happy, and it's better for our marriage. If I'm not sexually satisfied unless I have sex once a week and he only wants it once a month, those are two very different places to be. Plus now that I've been doing it for two years, I have people I can hang out with wherever I go. There are two guys I see in London when I go there every quarter. I don't sleep with everyone I meet on Tinder; I have to meet them first. I approach it from an abundance mentality; what I have with one person doesn't diminish what I have with another person.

I still love my husband. I think I'll always love him; he's my best friend. But he's very protective of me and not very experimental in bed. He's refused to use a blindfold on me even when I've asked him. That's just not something he's comfortable doing. We've gone to a sex club, but he can't stomach the idea of watching me with someone else. At least he was willing to explore something new though.

Our sex life isn't amazing, but it's okay. Sometimes I'll say let's hook up tonight and he'll say, I'll make sure you come, but I don't need to. I feel like that's weird, but whatever, that's what we've gotten used to. I'm okay with it because I can go and get it elsewhere.

Do you have a fascinating sex life you want to share with ELLE? Email ellesexstories@gmail.com.

Rachel Kramer Bussel Rachel Kramer Bussel ( rachelkramerbussel.com ) writes about sex, dating, books and pop culture.

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