Part of the campaign:

Howdy dickheads and welcome to part 7 of the Civ Hybrid Games. I’m your host Supe and today I’ll be telling you the story of how angry horse fuckers came rampaging out of the countryside, only to get their shit kicked in.

Here we see disgusting Holstiener pets roaming around in hordes trying to ruin our day. You can see the cities of Gdansk and Lodz getting their shit burned lmao. Global happiness is a great mechanic.

Who even gives a fuck abou the SH core. Show me the bloodbath.

Who cares, next slide.

Welcome back to stalemate 2: electric boogaloo. Whole lotta nothing going on here tbh.

Whole lotta fucking empty nothingness here.

Ah yes, the Northern front. Apparently we flipped like 3 troops up here but that doesn’t look all that good.

The battle begins.

With the Russians fucking around on horses, they’ve left their (now useless) cities open for conquest.

Horse nomads continue to fuck around, Poles get their teeth kicked in.

Holy shit, the Geats are actually pushing on their front. What a miracle.

Oh no, half our shit is under siege. Oh wait, it’s Novgorod, who cares?

Things uh, don’t look good in the North. Novgorod is fucked tho. Big RIP

False alarm, welcome back to stalemate city

Ottawa looks set to fall as the warrior hordes get their shit ruined elsewhere.

Yeah things don’t look good here.

I think the Geats are losing ground here. I’m not sure.

Yeah Ottawa is fucked

Finns continue to pour out of the North to attack Lagoda.

Okay yes the Geats appear to be losing ground. I’m pretty sure of this now.

Bigly literacy.

Ottawa goes to red as the rest of the horde does a whole lot of fucking nothing.

Litva moves to take the Novgorod capital as more Finns flood in.

The front slowly grinds in favour of the Norwegians.

Otttawa falls as the horde moves to beat its head against against T H E O D O S I A N W A L L S

Losing ground in the north, gaining it in the south

The geats lose a shitty city, but hey, things are happening here.

Constantinople STRONK

We’re poised to lose Lagoda, but hey, we’re taking Ft. Sickles.

Oh hey, the horde is mostly gone. Save for the oppressors of Ottawa.

RENAME PSKOV TO NOVGOROD. (which coincidentally is the name of the city we torched)

Holy shit the geats flipped it back. There’ll be no breaking the stalemate on their watch.

BIG RIP for Gdansk and Lodz. Alexa play Despacito.

YOU’RE NEXT PSKOV

Lagoda is trying, but it’s gone at this point. .

Ping pong continues.

BEGONE HORDE THOTS

First capital to Litva ayy lmao

Big RIP for Lagoda.

Still a whole lotta nothing.

OH FUCK, POLAND HAS TROOPS

Novgorod? More like NovogoRIP

The Finns continue to push.

Oh shit we might lose a city to the POLES

The poles are having fun murdering the population of Kernave.

Oh shit we flipped Lagoda back.

Not for long it seems.

OHOHO The Norwegians push forward.

TARGET: LODZ

The symbol of Horde oppression: Ottawa.

The Finns, getting sick of Lagoda, decide burning is the good strat.

Oh yeah holy shit there’s actual progress on the front.

BIG RIP Lagoda.

Not to be outdone, glorious Litvan horses attack Ottawa.

REMOVE LODZ

The progress is slow, but it’s there.

Kernave quickly losing pop.

OTTAWA IS ONCE AGAIN IN RIGHTFUL LITVAN HANDS

FINAL CITY. GETTEM BOIS

Geats eventually losing ground.

FUCK LODZ. STOP ATTACKING OUR SHIT POLAND.

The Finns are content to sit around and do nothing.

WHERE DID THE NORWEGIANS GO?

VL IN THE RED. REMOVE NOVGOROD.

The poles appear to have fucked off.

STALEMATE CITY: POPULATION: GEATS

It’s only pictures of cores and stats from here on in and I’m feeling lazy. I’ve been your host Supe and we hope you tune in next time for another exciting episode of CHGBALL Z