What could be a better celebration of the joy of new motherhood than the assumption by the state of New Jersey that you’ve slept around?

What other message can we get from a new bill proposing that all newborns, along with both of their parents, undergo genetic testing in case there's a later dispute over who's the father.

Where do we start? The bill is needless, intrusive, expensive and highly insulting.

Plus ridiculous. You’re telling me an obstetrician is going to help a woman propel a baby from her womb, then turn around and subject her to a DNA swab because the doctor doubts her word as to who’s the father? Good thing there’d be an emergency room nearby, because somebody’s going to need it.

We understand — sort of — the concern of Assemblyman Gilbert "Whip" Wilson, a Democrat from Camden County. There are men who raise or pay child support for children they later discover are not theirs. There are legal ways to recover that money, but in the meantime, an emotional toll has been taken. The proposed change would simplify the process for these men-who-are-not-fathers seeking reimbursement.

As part of that, however, Wilson wants every newborn, along with the mother and assumed father, to undergo genetic testing to establish paternity.

Yes, there are women who have unprotected sex with multiple partners. There are women who are unable to name, with certainty, the father of their babies. And some of these women are not above tricking some poor sap into thinking he’s the father.

But most women are not that woman — nor should they be treated by either their doctor or their government as if they were.

(And don’t those newborns have any right to medical privacy? Why should they be poked and prodded when they’ve done nothing except be born?)

In a state where 34 percent of babies are born out of wedlock (that’s below the national average of 40 percent), issues of paternity are not an abstract concern.

However, ordering DNA testing for everyone is like saying that since some people rob banks, every bank customer should be subjected to fingerprinting — and their fingerprints should be kept on file. It codifies mistrust.

And don’t get me started about the sheer foolishness of mandating a medically unnecessary test costing several hundred dollars in a country where tons of people can’t afford even a trip to the pediatrician.

Under current law, it's not as if a new mother has complete control of who is named the father. If she is married at the time she gives birth — or was married at some point within the previous 300 days — her husband is presumed to be the father.

If she is unmarried, both the mother and the father have to sign a voluntary acknowledgement of paternity. So it’s not like they hand Mom an application for a birth certificate and she alone can designate her boyfriend Eddie as the father, whether he likes it or not.

Wilson’s bill has the support of one men’s rights group, Dads Against Discrimination. It will be opposed by New Moms Who Don’t Sleep Around Thank You Very Much, a group I’m going to form if this bill even gets out of committee.