Margaret, just when I was thinking I could go back to minding my own business baking bread and watching my shows, another small-dick Republican has to prove that the size of his tiny pecker doesn’t prevent him from screwing a whole lot of women. And so here I am again, typing instead of baking. You know me. When I’ve got nothing good to say, I usually say it.

Add the name Glenn Hagar to our ever growing list of Asshats. This one is still wet behind the ears and thinks his wife Dara should be barefoot and in the kitchen. Want to know why Governor Rick Perry really called a special session? Laws that they couldn’t pass in the regular session can be pushed through in the majority-rules special session. Laws like the one sponsored by State Senator Glenn Hegar from Katy. Hegar thinks screwing poor women in rural Texas is fun and he has sponsored a law that will screw millions of them by closing down women’s health clinics throughout the state. In between bragging about how godly he is, Hegar’s website offers us this description of little Glenn – Senator Hegar is a true conservative who strongly defends the values of faith, family, and freedom. Of course if by freedom you mean freedom for men to control women – well then yes, I guess that’s a true statement. Just like the gun owners he also champions, Glenn wants to have a pecker but not take responsibility for firing it.

Glenn wasn’t alone in this mind you. His accomplice is an idiot named Rep. Jody Laubenberg, a Botox bitch from Parker. Yes, Jody is a woman who apparently would eat her own vagina to prove she is loyal to Rick and Glenn. Wait. That didn’t sound right. She would eat her unborn child to prevent another woman from having access to… No. That’s not right either. Oh hell. What do you say about a woman who thinks that another woman who has been raped should not have access to an abortion because…and I quote, “In the emergency room they have what’s called rape kits, where a woman can get cleaned out.” Now there is a real idiot’s idiot. Never mind that rape kits have nothing to do with cleaning out anything. The fact that a woman would have no sympathy for another woman’s rape. Well, I just didn’t think I would live long enough to see that.

But thank goodness for women like State Senator Wendy Davis who actually paid attention in school and developed her brain instead of an unhealthy fascination with plastic surgery like Ms. Laubenberg. Right now Wendy is filibustering in the Texas Capitol to stop Rick, Glenn and Jody from taking us any farther back into the dark ages. If you live in Austin, head to the Capitol and cheer her on.

It’s all too clear now. Rick Perry’s personal little special legislative session was just another pathetic attempt to continue his never-ending war on women. Perry and his Aggie Boy Toy Hagar can’t wait to screw millions of women. I’m still unclear what’s in it for Jody – maybe a lifetime supply of Botox? This time the small-minded and even smaller-dicked Republicans in the Texas Legislature are attempting to deny the full spectrum of reproductive healthcare to the millions of poor women in rural Texas. The laws those asshats are trying to pass will mean that only rich women in Austin, San Antonio, Dallas and Houston will have access to an abortion– everyone else can just go have a few more babies or find a coat hanger. Lucky for Dara Hegar. She lives in Katy just outside of Houston. She and her daughters will have no trouble getting an abortion should they so choose. And good thing Jody lives near Dallas so that her daughter, Liz, can still get an abortion despite Mother’s nasty law. And as we all know, they are the ones who usually do.

Somebody get me a magnifying glass. If there’s going to be a vote, I want to see if Glenn Hagar is man enough to take on the masses of women in District 18 who will vote him out of office during the next election. But my money is on Wendy. Go, honey. Go. I mean it. Really.

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