Although the term "dysphoria" may inspire images of intense suffering, Schlotterbeck shares that in practice, gender dysphoria can just mean feeling uncomfortable when someone assumes something about you based on your assigned gender.

While gender dysphoria is something that many transgender people experience, Schlotterbeck attests that feeling confined by traditional gender roles isn't synonymous with being trans. "We talk about gender dysphoria like it's a special secret thing that trans people experience," Schlotterbeck says. "Like no one else has any idea and couldn't possibly imagine what it feels like for gender not to fit. I try to shift that to: We all know what it's like when gender doesn't fit."

Schlotterbeck shares that in practice, feeling discomfort stemming from your gender identity doesn't have to mean being in intense pain or suffering. "Think about how you know that a pair of pants don't fit," Schlotterbeck says. "Sometimes they hurt, and you know that they don't fit. That's basically what the gender dysphoria diagnosis is, like the only way we really know is in you’re in severe pain. But there are lots of ways to know that your pants don't fit. Sometimes they don't fit in ways that aren't painful. You just don't like how they look. They fall off. Or all the other ways."

I identify as a trans person and regularly experience gender dysphoria. Although changing my name, using they/them pronouns, and coming out as non-binary has been incredibly validating, I'll be the first to tell you that gender dysphoria is very real, and ultimately, can be very painful. (Cue: me crying in a fitting room wondering if I'll ever find "men's pants" to fit my bodacious booty. Hey.)

Jokes aside, whatever you're thinking, feeling, or experiencing with gender is totally valid. Although gender dysphoria can be literally painful to some, to others, it may be uncomfortable or just off-putting. You have nothing to prove anything to anyone, you don't need to quantify or contain your choices for others, and you never need to feel like you aren't "trans enough" for not having certain experiences.