StarCraft II: How To Win Every Game Guaranteed

February 15, 2012

In case you didn’t know, StarCraft has been around for quite a while. It’s also a professional sport in South Korea. If you get curious and watch the pros play, you’ll quickly see that no matter how good you think you are, you suck. Well, no longer. I have a foolproof strategy that will help you climb to the top ranks in no time!

I like to call it, “Vince’s Ultra Mega Super Mega Monstrous Honey I Blew Up The SCV Rush.” Copyright 2012 and all that BS.

The first thing you want to do is pick Terran. Always pick Terran. No matter how much Terrans get nerfed, they’ll always be overpowered (OP). It should come as no surprise to the StarCraft vets that Terrans will always win. You see, the Zerg are aliens and the Protoss…well…they’re aliens too. The Terrans are better than them because, goddammit…USA.

The second thing you need to do is build an economy. Get those SCV (sp?) guy thingys going quickly and keep building supply depots to up your population limit. Trust me, I know my StarCrafts.

The third thing you need to do is pump out more SUVs and don’t ever stop. Trust me on this. I know what I’m talking about. I have a degree in accounting and the numbers just don’t lie.

Fourth, send a lone OMG down to one of the gold crystal formations and have it start harvesting. If your opponent is scouting, he’ll be intimidated by how confident you are in that you aren’t even bothering to expand.

Once you have a full population of PVCs, it’s time to attack. You can always lull your opponent into a false sense of security beforehand like so:

Swarm the enemy base and leave no survivors. Should your rush fail for whatever reason, send in a marine or two to clean things up.

I hope this little guide has added meaning to your life. Why are you still sitting here reading my blog? Go try out this new mind-blowing strategy, soldier!

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