15 Struggles Only Nice Guys Understand

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“Nice guys” have plenty of problems. Some of these problems are the result of living in a world that is inherently unfair. Others are problems that “nice guys” bring on themselves. So what’s a nice guy to do? He’s got to figure out which problems are inevitable parts of life and which problems might be his own fault. Why would you put in all this work? Because you’re a nice guy!

1. People Don’t Even Know You’re Being Nice

Many times, nice guys will go out of their way to do everything they can to please someone only for that person to not notice. But doing something “nice” shouldn’t be considered nice if it’s done with the expectation of something similar in return. Also, if you don’t tell someone that you’re inconveniencing yourself for them, how are they going to know? People likely aren’t going to assume you’re doing something you don’t like doing without being asked.

2. People Take Advantage Of You

Some people will realize that you have a tendency to make sacrifices with little concern for yourself and blatantly use that to their advantage. That sucks, and that’s wrong of them to do it. But that’s an inevitability you have to prepare for by either not getting crushed when it happens or by not sacrificing your own happiness with little provocation or request.

3. You Keep Getting Hurt

It can be hard to determine which people truly don’t care about your feelings, and you may get hurt repeatedly. But you’ve got to learn from that without becoming bitter, otherwise you’ll end up driving away people or avoiding people that actually care about you.

4. You Feel Owed

It would be nice if any pain you’ve experienced from being taken advantage of could be redeemed for something enjoyable, but life doesn’t work that way. That’s why you should be nice simply because you want to do something kind for it’s own sake. Expecting a reward later will only leave you disappointed and angry.

5. Going After What You Want Is Hard

You might feel more comfortable being given a task to accomplish for someone else than focusing on yourself. Maybe you think it’s selfish to think of yourself. But much like being nice, being selfish is good in the appropriate amounts. If you keep waiting for others to figure out what you want and give it to you without asking or trying for it, you’ll never be happy. Also, every girl wants to date someone who is genuinely passionate about something. Go find it what you want and go after it.

6. You Fear Rejection

Everyone fears rejection. Some people probably are completely oblivious to their own faults or concern for other people’s opinions. But most people realize rejection happens whether they deserve it or not and simply confront that inevitable risk. You’ve got to find whatever help you need to get over that fear.

7. You Come On Too Strong

Some nice guys want to show they’re nice so badly that they’ll think too far into the future of a relationship before it ever really begins. Most girls won’t want to get roses on a first date or to hear about your capacity to sacrifice to make her happy. She just wants to hear about your interests, have you listen to hers and have a drink.