OTTAWA – After an ethics committee determined that Don Meredith is unfit to be a member of the Upper House due to his having sexual relations with a minor, the Senate has announced it will remove Meredith at some point during the next two decades.

“We will take swift action and not wait the standard three decades,” explained Saskatchewan Senator Raynell Andreychuk. “Otherwise people will begin to think we’re an immoral, inefficient and entitled institution that really doesn’t do anything.”

Four years after Meredith started a relationship with a 16-year-old and two years after the Senate started an investigation, no time will be wasted establishing the procedural and legal delays.

“Since we only sit three days a week, this ruling will take more time than anticipated. We will give Senator Meredith five days to respond, but that will take more like ten days. Then, the debate will take a few months before summer recess. After that, it will probably have to go to committee for a legal review. By 2023, we may vote on the precise wording of the first draft of the motion for expulsion.”

“However, the Senate may wait until his forced retirement at 75 before he is suspended.”

The Senate has also budgeted $18.5 million dollars for legal fees for both the Senate and Don Meredith’s legal team in the likely event that the expulsion is challenged as well as travel, meal and housing allowances, and mystery expenses.

“And let’s not forget about the numerous adjournments for, holidays, prorogations, fire drills, and nap time.”

If expelled, the Pentecostal Minister may never get to fulfill his promise he made as a Conservative candidate in a 2008 by-election to raise the age of consent to 18.