Oh come on, this will be fun.

Here are the details: The defendant, Ezekiel Gilbert, 30, shot and killed an escort that he’d hired off Craigslist. The woman was paralyzed and ultimately died several months later. Gilbert was charged in the killing and walks because he says the woman refused to have sex with him.

So the jury acquitted him because she had it coming for not doing her job.

Biglaw partners in this state had a cocktail party to celebrate this new motivating factor for young associates.

Any guesses on the state?

Of course it’s Texas! I guess it could have been Florida, but think of how devastating this rule would be to the economy of Miami. They’re already beating the hell out of women they suspect of being slutty competition (last link).

So off to Texas we go. Specifically, Bexar County, the home of San Antonio. Gilbert had hired 23-year-old Lenora Ivie Frago in December 2009. Her Craigslist ad listed her price at $150, which Gilbert paid. $150?!? Reema, no pun intended, but Reema is getting screwed charging “between $25 and $70.” You can hardly buy a set of knock-off Fiocci drawers charging that little.

But Frago just walked around for 20 minutes and left, claiming the money only covered her driver and that Gilbert needed to put up more to get actual service. The dreaded upsell. It’s not just for rust prevention undercoating anymore.

When Frago attempted to leave with Gilbert’s $150, which she felt was solely for her time, Gilbert went all Grand Theft Auto III and attacked the streetwalker to get his money back. Hey, you’ve got to stand your ground even when your pants are around your ankles, amiright?

Anyway, Gilbert was acquitted, which we should have expected because as noted Texas legal giant Edith Jones would tell us, Ezekiel Gilbert is white so he’s not the kind of guy who’d commit a crime (first link).

If you’re cramming for the Texas bar exam and nervous about the prostitute-killing hypo, the technical rule you need to remember is the “nighttime theft” exception that allows Texas citizens “to use deadly force to recover property during a nighttime theft.” One would have thought this exception would only apply to people engaged in legal transactions after dark, but I guess not.

After the verdict was rendered:

The 30-year-old hugged his defense attorneys after the “not guilty” verdict was read by the judge. If convicted, he could have faced life in prison. He thanked God, his lawyers, and the jury for being able to “see what wasn’t the truth.”

You see, when when you get off on a technicality — the technicality in this case being that he didn’t get off — the jury didn’t “see what wasn’t the truth,” they agreed you gunned down an unarmed woman, they just agreed that you could get away with it.

Texas Says It’s OK to Shoot an Escort If She Won’t Have Sex With You [Gawker]

Earlier: Morning Docket: 06.05.13

Lawyer Ethics Commission Accuses Reema Bajaj of Trading Sex for Office Supplies