Pardoned academic accused of spying says he feels ‘disappointed’ by Gulf state but vows to clear his name

Matt Hedges, the British academic accused of spying, has said he feels no resentment towards the Emirati friend who reported him to UAE state security but expressed disappointment at the second “home” that betrayed him.

The Durham University PhD candidate, who went to the United Arab Emirates to research his thesis, was sentenced at an Abu Dhabi court in November in a hearing that lasted less than five minutes, with no lawyer present. But in a remarkable turnaround, he was officially pardoned just days after being handed a life sentence.

Hedges’ wife, Daniela Tejada, who was present in the courtroom on the day of his conviction, continued to tirelessly campaign for his release. The couple, back together in England for the past month, have been trying to use their focus for the greater good, but the trauma of the past year hasn’t been easy to shift.

“It has been manic,” a visibly anxious Hedges, 31, told the Guardian. “It’s taken a period of adjustment, to try and know where I am and what’s going on. I like to try and keep myself busy.”

As he speaks his hand goes to his pocket where he keeps a bottle of valium, medication he may have to take for the rest of his life.

Hedges still plans to finish his PhD on the Arab Spring – he has just the last chapter of his thesis to write – but in the shorter term he wants to keep a low profile and do “nothing too edgy”, maybe go to the cinema and visit friends, he says.

It is not a surprise that Hedges is craving a more mundane life for the moment. He spent almost six months in solitary confinement in a window-less state security office, being regularly threatened with torture and interrogated for up to 15 hours a day.

Hedges says he heard other inmates being tortured and was threatened with rendition to an overseas military base, where he was told he would be “hung up and beaten”.

His ordeal began on 5 May when he was detained while trying to leave the UAE after a two-week research visit to interview sources on its security structure after the Arab Spring. Hedges says he was forced to confess “under duress” to allegations of spying for Britain, and then sentenced to life in jail.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Hedges with Richard Ratcliffe, husband of Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe and organiser of the Never Forgotten Carols service that took place opposite Downing Street. Photograph: Teri Pengilley/The Guardian

After international outrage over his treatment and an intervention from the foreign secretary, Jeremy Hunt, UAE President Khalifa bin Zayed Al Nahyan eventually issued a pardon.

But Hedges, who bears the bruises of the ankle cuffs he was forced to wear, still can’t quite believe he is free. He says: “All of a sudden they told me to put on some clothes. They told me I was being released – nothing made sense. It was not until I got on the plane that I began to relax but even now I still feel anxious. I walk around with valium in my pocket just in case I get too anxious.”

Hedges maintains his innocence and following his release, Alex Younger, the head of MI6, has said he had been “perplexed” as to why Hedges was accused of espionage on behalf of the agency.

Hedges was not a stranger to the UAE. In fact from the age of 15 it was his second home. He was at a boarding school in Surrey but his family lived in the UAE and he would fly out during every school break.

“I never felt at risk there,” Hedges says shaking his head. “As a child I would go there every holiday, it was my home – somewhere I had fun and had friends. My family lived there for over 15 years and I’d also worked out there more than once, for years at a time.”

Hedges said he feels no resentment towards the Emirati friend that reported him to state security.

“He was someone I met through work and we were friends, yes. He was in court and gave evidence against me,” he says. “It would be easy to feel anger towards him but I have no clue under what circumstance he has got in touch with the state security. I can’t blame him. He might not have had another option. It’s impossible to hold any form of resentment because he himself is a victim of the system,” he adds.

But when asked if he feels betrayed by the UAE, its government, Hedges looks down and pauses for a long time before answering,: “Disappointed, really disappointed.”

The academic still has no idea why he was targeted by the UAE authorities and he now claims he was being watched, followed and his phone bugged from the moment he arrived in the Arab state.

Hedges, who was the first western academic to be detained in this way in the UAE, says: “I put it down to paranoia. I never thought it would get to the extent that it did.

“Looking back it got out of hand at a certain time and their own domestic politics made the situation worse. They took a series of facts and so-called ‘evidence’ and made it into a Picasso-like picture which makes little sense unless you look at it from a certain angle. It was completely incoherent,” he says.

Hedges is now determined to help other academics who have been detained – and to clear his name.

He says: “I am still a convicted spy – which is as ridiculous as it sounds. This will affect my academic integrity … It’s not right.”

Over Christmas, Hedges and Tejada joined members of the Never Forgotten Carols Service outside Downing Street, remembering those people who would not be coming home this year because they are being detained in prisons abroad. The event was organised by Richard Ratcliffe - the husband of Nazanin Zaghari-Ratcliffe, who is detained in Tehran and was attended by campaigners and the loved ones of detainees.

Hedges remained deliberately discreet within the crowd but his presence brought the group an unfamiliar sense of hope.

Tejada, 27, said she had at one point resigned herself that she would remain alone. “Hope was not always a constant; in fact, strong as I tried to be for Matt, there were plenty of times when I felt defeated and hopeless ... sometimes, in spite of my endless work and fighting for his freedom,” she said.

“We need a bit of normal time,” she added. “I 100% did not think I would see him at Christmas. Things came together so quickly – I don’t even know what to get him for a present. I hadn’t really planned ahead.”

