An organised and efficient shopping routine isn’t always an easy thing to get into. Get the timing wrong and you end up with a fridge full of mouldy tomatoes. Or, even worse, that most miserable of sights, an empty fridge. But sometimes you just need to throw caution to the wind and brace yourself for one Big Shop and, if you believe the papers this morning, that’s exactly what Manchester United and Louis van Gaal are planning this summer.

The shopping spree will begin in Rome, where Radja Nainggolan has been impressing the scouts. Roma want £30m for the combative Belgian midfielder and United are prepared to pay it.

Next stop: Madrid. Van Gaal reckons the 21-year-old defender Raphaël Varane can be persuaded to become part of his back three, but it will take £35m of help to persuade Real to part with one of their prized assets. And while they’re there, United might pop over to the Vicente Calderón and snap up Atlético Madrid’s Mario Mandzukic for £40m.

Now up to Eindhoven where “Walking In” Memphis Depay has caught the eye with a prolific season on the wing. Van Gaal knows him well from his days in charge of the Dutch national side and is prepared to give the green light to a £20m move.

And last but not least, it’s over to Germany where Benedikt Höwedes is currently chilling out with Schalke. United want him too, but will have to go mano a mano with Arsenal for the signature of the Germany defender. While United are there they’ll pop over to Wolfsburg to take on Manchester City and Chelsea over the signing of Kevin De Bruyne. Oh, and make a triple raid on Dortmund for Mats Hummels, Ilkay Gundogan and Marco Reus.

So next season’s United XI as of Friday 6 February? Valdés; Hummels, Varane, Höwedes; Blind, Nainggolan, Carrick, Gundogan, Depay; Reus; Mandzukic. Although, as with all Big Shops, they’re bound to forget something.

Elsewhere, Edin Dzeko is being chased by Juventus and Atlético (hopefully while the Benny Hill theme tune plays in the background) and Reus has held talks with Barcelona over a summer move.

Everton’s Kevin Mirallas also features on Atlético’s hitlist, while West Ham will make a move for Steven Caulker if/when Queens Park Rangers are relegated.