Hollywood Hates You and Spits On All Of Your Values

The proof: This remake.

Because a character as compelling as "Jonny Utah" couldn't be allowed to sit the twenty-first century out.

Oh by the way, thanks to @rsmccain, here's your daily dose of pointless, frivolous little-girl feminist "rebellion."

At least it's actual children engaging in this silliness, instead of 37-year-old womgirls.

Coming soon -- Goonies 2.