My mind is telling me no, my body is telling me no, and medical consensus is also telling me no. But the pursuit of journalistic truth is saying yes, so after a thorough and surely unprecedented risk assessment with The Telegraph's Health and Safety team, I agree to spend a week following the strictly carnivorous meat-only diet.

It’s a departure from my usual work on the motoring desk – but a quick look around informs me that I am, definitely, the right man for the job. Everyone else in the office is either a vegetarian or trying to be; I, on the other hand, once got a kebab delivered for lunch. I am promised a small stipend towards the cost of meat, and begin researching the challenge.

The carnivore diet has been the subject of much pearl-clutching this summer. Popularised by Mikhaila Peterson, the daughter of controversial academic Jordan Peterson, the diet basically flies in the face of every bit of nutritional advice you've ever heard. But Mikhaila says it's helped cure the myriad health problems she suffered during her teenage years, and others report similarly positive results.

Before I get to the results, I need the rules – and they're hard to find. Given that the medical community is not exactly licking its lips at the idea of only eating meat, my primary resources for information are off-piste blogs, celebrity Instagram accounts, a small Reddit community and a raft of mainstream news articles highlighting how unhealthy such a diet could be. There seems to be no reputable authority on the subject of ‘giving up vegetables forever’.