The hipster fascists at Vice have a monopoly on downtown cool that can make you feel like an asshole just for being born. But in a weird way the monthly magazine--which started ten years ago in Montreal as a low-budget skate, graffiti, and culture mag and has now spawned a record label, books, and Vice stores in LA, New York, Toronto, and London--speaks to your inner snob, the person who plays fashion cop in bars and who sometimes thinks, "Yes, I am better than everyone else." The Vice feature that part of you likely flips to first is the Dos & Don'ts section, in which cofounder Gavin McInnes arbitrarily rips on or praises photos of famous people, hipsters, regular folks, bums, even babies. Contradictory, racist, sexist, and at times just plain stupid, McInnes is cruel and hilarious. A recent issue, for example, pictured a mousy, chubby-cheeked, pinch-nosed woman with brown fluff for hair. Says McInnes: "This woman looks so much like a gerbil I really want to stuff her up my ass." Hey, he argues, "cunt" and "nigger" are swearwords. "You swear when you're making jokes. It's funnier that way."

McInnes is in town this weekend to promote the new Vice Dos & Don'ts, a decade of Dos and Dont's in book form. He'll give a slide-show preview at 8 PM on Saturday, September 11, at Quimby's, 1854 W. North. It's free; call 773-342-0910. On Friday, the night before, Puma (yes, the shoe company) is sponsoring a Vice party at Sonotheque, 1444 W. Chicago, with both a live PA and DJ set from Chromeo, a recovering electroclash casualty, and a DJ set by Panthers singer Jayson Greene. It starts at 10 PM and it's $10; call 312-226-7600.