The super PAC was intended to illustrate the absurdities of the campaign finance system. Colbert shuts down super PAC

Americans are going to have wait more than a day for their better tomorrow.

After murdering a ham and stealing $800,000, “Colbert Report” host Stephen Colbert announced he was shutting down his super PAC, Americans For A Better Tomorrow Tomorrow.


Colbert closed the PAC after a skit on his show where “sketchy donors” to his PAC were trying to kill him because of the committee’s ineffectiveness. He first tried to blame “Daily Show” host Jon Stewart, before the pair decided to “murder” the PAC’s consultant, Ham Rove. Colbert asked Stewart to do the dirty job, but the Jewish comedian demurred because “it’s not kosher.” (Ham Rove is a slab of ham that wears glasses resembling GOP consultant Karl Rove’s.)

“I’m sorry, Ham Rove, but one of us is dead meat, and you already are,” Colbert said before stabbing Ham with a knife and fork.

“I write this letter with a heavy heart and elevated cholesterol,” Colbert wrote in an e-mail to supporters announcing the PAC’s closure. “Earlier today, our advisor and chief strategist, Ham Rove, passed away. Authorities believe he repeatedly tripped and fell onto a knife several dozen times. Later some dogs ate him. It was all quite tragic.”

“When it comes to describing how important Ham Rove was to Colbert Super PAC, I find myself at a loss for unsubpoenaed words. Ham Rove did everything for this organization, particularly any of the things that an angry donor or federal official might want answers to.”

Later in the show, Colbert’s lawyer, former FEC chairman Trevor Potter, told Colbert he could get out of the super PAC game and cut himself a check for the remaining $800,000 in his super PAC. But, Potter said, the transfer would show up on an FEC report.

“But the whole point of a super PAC is to have secret money and use it any way you want, Trevor,” Colbert said. “Is there any way — and I know this is crazy, these might be the mad ramblings of a syphilitic brain. But hear me out, is there some way I can give the money to myself and therefore hide it forever from all eyes and use it anyway I wish?”

“Actually, you can,” Potter said. He explained to Colbert that he could secretly steal the remaining $800,000 in his super PAC by creating an anonymous 501(c)4 and using an IRS loophole.

“Due to Ham Rove’s timely passing, I am announcing that Colbert Super PAC is shutting down effective immediately,” Colbert’s letter concluded. “During this time of mourning, we ask that you respect our privacy, and more importantly, the privacy of our money. It wishes to stay out of the public eye, so please don’t go trying to find it. Rest assured, you won’t. We have a really good lawyer.”

Colbert set up the super PAC in 2011 as a way to illustrate the absurdities of the campaign finance system. He would use it to run ads “supporting” Rick Perry and Herman Cain and backing his own bid for “President of South Carolina.” When Colbert ran for president, he handed the super PAC’s reins over to Stewart.

On Tuesday, Colbert filed a termination report with the FEC, officially ending Americans For A Better Tomorrow Tomorrow.

According to the report, Colbert sent $773,704 of his super PAC’s remaining cash to the Colbert Super PAC SHH Institute, a 501(c)4 nonprofit Colbert launched last year.

The remaining money was sent to a political consulting firm in Virginia, an Iowa firm called “Promotional Concepts, Inc.,” and a New Jersey production company. Opus Moreschi and Erica Myrickes, both of whom have worked for “The Colbert Report” in the past, also each received $500 checks.

This article tagged under: Stephen Colbert

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