Secretary of Education Betsy DeVos said today that flat Earth theories and the Book of Genesis have no business being taught in the public school system she oversees.

“The science involved is far too difficult for high school – even I struggle with it!”

She insisted it was still important to understand how our disk-shaped home was made by God in seven days, but that it should be taught in college instead.

“When my yacht was cast adrift in the open ocean I was so worried it would fall off the edge. Fortunately it didn’t thanks to all the engineers and scientists who did the calculations with the numbers.”

DeVos said she was open to honors students being allowed to elect to study flat Earth ocean dynamics if they had a perfect GPA.

“You need to be super smart to understand the equations that explain why all the water doesn’t just slide off!”

Help a poor hardworking satire site out! www.paypal.me/breakingburgh

