Spring training is in full swing, with most stars getting time in real baseball games and us having seen most of the players we’ve wanted to see. (Mostly Shohei Ohtani, tbh.) The regular season is only a few weeks away at this point, and yet the offseason is still going on because this has been the offseason from hell. In fact, there’s a decent chance we’ve died and this is a Lost-style purgatory. The good news here is that there’s definitely nothing weird going on this winter and it’s all totally a coincidence that all of this inaction is happening at once this winter. Nothing to see here! Anyway, there’s not much going on in the baseball world at this moment so let’s just get an update on a few of the big names who inexplicably remain on the free agent market. What else are we gonna do, ya know?

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We’ll start with the pitchers, and specifically a trio of guys who have become linked together forever due to how long they’ve remained unemployed. Jake Arrieta is the best pitcher available and arguably the best overall player. The Phillies have been the team most often linked to him, but the Nationals are picking up steam of late. Because a team with Max Scherzer and Stephen Strasburg should be gifted Jake Arrieta in an offseason where everyone decided (independently, of course!) not to spend money. The rest of the NL will be psyched if that happens. Then there’s Alex Cobb and Lance Lynn. It’s sort of inexplicable that the Twins and/or Brewers have signed at least one of these guys, but at least Milwaukee is still interested in one.

On the offensive side of things, Mike Moustakas is the premier bat left and there is a baffingly small market left for the third baseman. He is not the perfect player, of course, but there really hasn’t been any significant rumor for someone targetting him yet this winter and that doesn’t make sense. Now, we have a little bit of news on the Moustakas front, with the rebuilding White Sox emerging as a potential landing spot. Sure. Finally, we have Greg Holland, who re-established himself as a legitimate closer-quality reliever in 2017. There are no significant rumors to speak of at this moment. Cool offseason we’ve got going here!

Russell Wilson is not going to be a real professional baseball player, but he did get a spring training appearance with the Yankees. And, well, he actually looked pretty okay.

Roniel Raudes is a fine prospect in the Red Sox system, but not anything notable on a national level. Well, at least until we all got to see him do this.