The Stranger's 2009 Sex Survey Results Sexy Charts! Hot Graphs! Erect Polls! A Snapshot of Everybody's Dirty Secrets!

The Stranger received 6,942 completed sex surveys—more than five times the sample size of the presidential polls in the New York Times. Which means our poll is more than five times more accurate than theirs. (Eat it, New York Times!) And now, a snapshot of everybody's dirty secrets—just click to ENLARGE.

I. Where Are You?

II. Respondents by Gender and Sexual Orientation

III. How Many Married People Are Cheating? And How Many Single People Are Happy About Being Single?

IV. Which Members of the Obama Administration Would You Invite to Your Obama Administration Orgy?

V. Straight Guys Sleeping with Guys, Straight Girls Sleeping with Girls, and Homos Sleeping with the Opposite Sex: Why'd You Do It?, and: VI. Are 25-Year-Olds Getting as Much Sex as They Would Like?

VII. How Many People Confessed to Being Into the Kinky Thing You're Into?, and: VIII. Most Popular Restaurants to Take a Date Before Taking Off Their Clothes

IX. Which Seattle Musician Would You Most Like to Bang?

X. How Many Other People Have Done What You've Done?

XI. Before You Die, What's the One Thing You Want to Accomplish Sexually?

The most popular answers: variations on "threesome" (880 responses), orgy/gangbang/large group (461), and variations on "finally having anal sex" (310). Here are some of the more original write-ins:

• Fuck a unicorn.

• Five-way with Scarlett Johansson, Britney Spears, Megan Fox, and Beyoncé while Chris Crocker sits in the corner crying.

• Bag an amputee.

• Be with a lactating super buxom black woman.

• Cum in my straight business partner's mouth.

• Have gay sex, stoned, naked, with an eco-terrorist in an anarchist commune on a bed of thyme.

• Make love on the banks of Loch Ness.

• Peg a straight boy while he's tied up in Nintendo NES controller cords.

• Receive head while eating a maple bar from Top Pot.

• Take 10 people's virginity. Two down.

To read each and every write-in answer we received to this question, click here.

XII. What's the Sexiest Thing You Did in the Last Year?

Best of the write-ins:

• Doing it on a roof; having a helicopter shine its light onto us.

• Being fucked and choked against the bathroom mirror by my boss.

• Double penetrated a guy I met on the Burke Gilman Trail with his boyfriend while my boyfriend watched.

• Dressed all slutty, went downtown, and had crazy make-up sex with a sociopath while on the clock. I'm a preschool teacher. I used my "planning time."

• Fucking on our hands and knees in the muddy banks of a river near Darrington while spawning salmon leapt from the water all around us.

• That coast guard guy, then going to breakfast with him wearing his rumpled uniform.

• Gagged and bound a marine and pegged him.

• Got naked with my roommate and drew on each other with a Sharpie. Then we snuggled.

• Had sex in my car, which was parked, and which got rear-ended during the act.

• Had sex in my therapist's office with her son.

• Sex with another girl, both of us wearing only knee-high black socks.

To read each and every write-in answer we received to this question, click here.