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Whether it be to stop being a wallflower at social gatherings, no longer be seen as a loner, to start making new connections or simply to make life more interesting, learning how to start a conversation with a stranger is an indispensable skill to have.

In this article, I will give you 3 super simple ways to do this that doesn’t make you look like a try-hard and that makes initiating contact with a stranger seem natural.

But first, let me tell you 3 reason’s why you should absolutely learn how to do this…

Why You Should Do This

You Step Outside Of Your Comfort Zone

Having social anxiety and shyness typically makes us more isolated. We try to escape the world and work really hard not to get noticed.

As a result, the number of social interactions we engage in steadily decreases and our problem gets bigger.

I’ll be honest, h aving less attention brought to us and attending fewer scary social situations feels great!

But this comfortable feeling usually doesn’t last for very long …

Over time we start to feel lonely and the social situations we most deperately avoid at all cost start to become scarier and scarier …

It is a known fact that the more we try to avoid certain situations, the more we become afraid of those situations.

If the social isolation is continued, we can soon find ourselves in a tough spot where no matter how much effort we put into avoiding social interactions, the anxiety always catches up to us.

Situations that we once felt comfortable in start to make us anxious and this can make you feel as if there was no way out.

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And after years of trying to figure this problem out, do you know what I realized?!

I realized that the only way out of severe social anxiety and shyness is THROUGH it.

Going “through” our social anxiety means that we need to face our fears at some point.

Constantly trying to escape our problem by setting it aside and avoiding any anxiety producing situations will only make everything worst.

Getting the courage to start conversations with total strangers is a fantastic way to face a lot of our fears revolving around our shyness and social anxiety.

You Become A More Sociable P erson

You go from being an introvert to becoming someone much more social.

There is really no better way to develop your sociability than to do what social people do.

If you want to really enjoy talking to others without being plagued by fear and awkwardness, the best thing to do is to deliberately put yourself in situations where you are talking with someone as often as you can to desensitize yourself to it.

Obviously, at first, it will be difficult because you have fallen out of practice when it comes to conversational skills…

But you can quickly change your situation for the better by pushing yourself out of your comfort zones socially and getting into conversations as much as possible .

Knowing How To Start Conversations Is A Great Skill To Have

People skills are one of the most important skills to have in life.

Whether it be to make the friends you want, get the job you want or find the partner of your dreams, knowing how to start a conversation out of nowhere with someone will really make your life way more exciting and will open up so many opportunities for you.

Top 3 Ways To Start A Conversation With Anyone

Way #1: Give A Compliment

A fantastic way to break the ice and start a conversation with someone is to notice something about them that you find intriguing or that you like and share a positive comment to let them know.

This could take the form of a compliment or a simple observation.

The comment should be positive and ‘lift’ the other person up.

The reason you should do this is that people usually react more positively to strangers when they know that you are coming from a ‘giving’ place rather than ‘wanting something from them’.

Tip: Don’t fake it The idea is to say or comment on something that you actually find interesting/intriguing from the other person. I do not recommend saying something just to say something without actually being intrigued.

The whole point of doing this is to express WHAT YOU USUALLY WOULD KEEP INSIDE…

Notice whenever you find yourself thinking things like:

“I like his shoes”.

“I wonder where she got that shirt from”.

“That person has a very nice smile”.

“He is reading my favorite book”.

These are all things that you could share with the people you come across… but most people usually don’t do this out of the fear that they might get judged negatively or look like a freak…

But that fear was what kept me stuck in a state of perpetual social anxiety for many years.

I lived in a shell for most of my life and felt like there was no escape for me and I thought I would be stuck like this for my entire life.

I did not want to be that timid guy for the rest of my life , so I decided to change.

And you can do it too!

If you don’t break out of these fears, the long term consequences will be much worse than the small amounts of anxiety and uncomfortable emotions you will feel from approaching strangers.

What you say doesn’t have to be perfect or eloquent. The only criteria for success is to say what your thinking.

Saying something as simple as the 3 examples from below can work wonders:

“I like your necklace”.

“I’ve read all his books and the one you are reading is my favourite” (To somebody reading a Stephen King book).

“I saw you from over there thought you had a really cool style”.



Tip: Keep it simple The simplest of comments can work at ‘opening’ someone up to having a conversation with you. Keep in mind that you don’t need to find the perfect thing to say every time. There is NO particular thing you can say that will work every time. The most important thing to do is to initiate contact by taking the first step… Your only criteria for success (and growth) is to at least try . How the other person reacts (opens up to you vs. closes off and doesn’t want to talk), is not up to you… Do not beat yourself up if someone is rude or doesn’t respond… That’s on them.

By initiating a conversation with someone, you create opportunities for human contact to occur… Which is s omething that is very rare in today’s society since most of us use electronic devices to communicate with others 80% of the time.

Most people have lost the art of getting to ‘know thy neighbour’…

It used to be that everybody knew everybody in the not too distant past.

But now, people barely even say ‘hello’ to the people living in the apartment right beside them.

Break free from this prison by being the one to make the first step. You’ll be surprised at how many people open up and are glad to talk to their fellow humans.

I often get the sense that people are yearning for a deeper sense of community .

Tip: You can add a ‘disclaimer’ to your opens If you’re just starting out and are afraid that saying things like the examples above will seem awkward and weird, you can add a slight ‘warning’ before you say it. This lets the other person know that you are aware that talking to strangers is not the norm and makes it easier for them to accept the comment.

Say something like the following to let the other party know that you are not a threat: “ I know this is random , but I really like your necklace”. Or “ I hope this doesn’t come off as weird or anything , but just wanted to let you know that I have read all of Stephen King’s books and that the one you’re reading is my favourite”.

Way #2: Notice And Comment On Something About The Surrounding Environment

Another great way to initiate a conversation is to comment on the surrounding environment.

Saying something like:

“Nice turnout for this event”.

“I love these new buses, there so much quieter than the old ones”.

Just basically notice a thought that you’re having about something in your surrounding and decide to share it with someone.

For example, look at the image above and try to notice some of the thoughts you are having about that environment. Well, all of those thoughts could make for a great ice breaker.

I look at it like this:

What you are essentially doing is creating an opening for the other person to respond.

You are inviting them into your world, and allowing a possible connection to happen (it takes balls to do this).

Who knows, maybe the other person will have some really interesting facts to share with you. Maybe they will light up and you will have made their day.

The more you do this, the easier it will become and the more you will be able to share your natural authentic self with the people around you.

Way #3: Ask A Simple Question

This is the most common and (in my opinion) the BEST and easiest way to start a conversation with someone.

Questions like the following may be typical, but they work wonders:

“Hi, hows your day going so far?”

“Hi, I’m Robert, what’s your name?” (You’d be surprised at how effective this one is…)

“Are you from around here? Do you like this city?”

“Have you been waiting in line for long”?

You can also use these 3 examples in conjunction with one another as a follow up to the other person’s response.

Example:

You: “Hi, my name is Robert, what’s your name?”

Other person: “I’m Oliver”

You: “Nice to meet you Oliver, how’s your day going so far?”

Other person: “It’s good, how about you?”

You: “I’m doing fine thank you…are you from around here?”

Other person: “Yeah, born and raised”

You: “Oh cool, do you like this city?”

… And then continue on from there.

I find this to be a great “default” way to start talking with the people you encounter.

Note: Don’t let awkwardness scare you Keep in mind that when you first start doing this, what you say might come off as a bit awkward but this is totally NORMAL! Check out this article to learn how to deal with awkwardness the right way: How To Stop Being Awkward – 3 Counter-Intuitive Tricks That Actually Work In order for you to overcome your shyness and social anxiety, you should push your comfort zones and improve your tolerance towards awkwardness. At Freedom Academy HQ, we do not strive to find ways to completely get rid of awkwardness because we understand that this is a part of life. No matter who you are, awkward situations are going to show up from time to time. You’re better off by learning how to DEAL WITH IT when it comes up rather than to try and get rid of it.

The idea is to be the one that takes the first step by asking a question. By doing this, you are opening a world of possibilities where there was none before.

Just the other day in Montreal (my home city), the subway train broke down and hundererds of people had to wait until the train got fixed in order to go home from work.

It was really a sureal senario… Imagine about 1,000 people all clumped together with only about a feet in between them, and almost none of them talked to each other (unless they knew each other from before obviously).

But isn’t that crazy!

This was a perfect opportunity for people to get to know eachother but its as if everybody was too afraid to ‘make the first move’…

But I did!

I asked the man standing right next to me if he had been waiting for very long.

Fast-track a few sentences later and we were in a full fledged conversation together!

Not only that, but I found out that he was the owner of an Indian restaurant that I loved and he told me that next time I went, he would give me a free naan bread!

Winning!

That might be small, but this illustrates an important fact:

That the world really is small …

Ever went traveling abroad and found out that someone in your hotel was related to you in some way from back home?

Maybe it was your hairdresser, your uncle’s girlfriend or an old buddy of yours, but my point is this:

Imagine all the things you could have in common with the people living in your own city!

Are you into snowboarding? Hiking? Video games? online business? Etc.

The possibilities to develop connections are all around us 24/7.

All it takes is someone to take that first step .

You can be that person and get rewarded (develop your social skills) at the same time.

What It All Comes Down To…

I touched on it earlyer, but what all of this comes down to is being able to express your real, 100% unhindered authentic personality with the people you come in contact with…

And helping you do the same is really what my goal is with creating this website and my courses.

There is not very much in this life that even comes close to feeling as good as being 100% free from within.

I don’t always feel like that, but my goal is to maximize the amount of freedom that I feel on a daily basis.

And for me, the thing that was keeping me from feeling this sense of freedom was my phobia of people.

What they thought of me, how they saw me, if they liked me, if they hated me… I had created a prison in my own mind and was plagued by social anxiety day in and day out .

My ‘Total Social Freedom‘ program can help you get that freedom by showing you exactly what you are doing wrong and explain what you should do instead.

It focuses on teaching you a “non-resistance” approach as a cure to social anxiety and combines it with an easy way to continuously expand your comfort zones on a daily basis.

If you are interested in learning more about it, CLICK HERE.

Just remember, n othing you read here will make a difference in your life unless you IMPLEMENT IT. So go out there and start interacting with the people around you and become a more social version of yourself!