The creators of "Titshare" on stage at TechCrunch Disrupt SF. YouTube/John Feitelberg I thought that we didn't need more women in tech. I was wrong.

What's troubling is that I should have known better. I spent the last year building female-centric dating apps. In March I was awarded "today's winner of the app designing for the ladies without being too patronizing about it" by Jezebel. It was clear to me that the biggest problem with online dating was that most dating apps are designed by men. But I saw this as a problem unique to my little corner of the tech world.

I cared about my gynecologist being a woman. But I didn't care if the software that I use daily was written by a woman or a dude. Why would that matter? After yesterday's antics at the Techcrunch Disrupt Hackathon, I have to admit that I was wrong. Gender matters.

Yesterday's Techcrunch Disrupt Hackathon presentations debuted with Titstare. The two Australians behind the weekend hack were given 60 seconds to pitch their app. They opened with "Titstare is an app where you take photos of yourself staring at tits" and closed their presentation saying, "It's the breast, most titilating fun you can't have."

The juvenile performances didn't end there. The demo for "Circle Shake"—hosted at SoTopless.com— featured groaning and fake masturbation, while the hacker shook his phone up and down as fast as he could.

If there was one tweet that summed up "Titstare" at the TC Disrupt Hackathon, it was this:

To its credit, Techcrunch responded quickly to Titshare, noting the following change in policy: "Every presentation is getting a thorough screening from this hackathon onward. Any type of sexism or other discriminatory and/or derogatory speech will not be allowed."

What's worse is this kind of BS is pervasive enough that incidents occur with regularity at industry events, and not all hosts are as quick to respond as TechCrunch. Similar accusations were levied at DefCon. DefCon is troubling because the sexist content is part of official programming. DefCon's "Hacker Jeopardy" features a woman undressing and has been called out as "misogynistic bulls--t."

DefCon founder Jeff Moss has defended Hacker Jeopardy, noting that the strip act performed by "Vinyl Vanna" has historically been a part of Hacker Jeopardy. Moss elaborated by distinguishing between “sexy” and “sexism.”

I had defended DefCon's right to do whatever they want. I had suggested on Twitter that Women 2.0 and the Hacker Dojo start an alternative security conference. I was wrong. I take this back. We shouldn't have to. Seeing Titstare steal the show at the TC Disrupt Hackathon was an epiphany for me. Reasonable, professional, and non-sexist behavior should be an industry standard.

I finally have to admit that pervasive brogramming and its inherent sexism is a problem. Nine year old Alexandra Jordan presented the hack "superfunkidtime.com" on stage and our biggest take-away from the Disrupt Hackathon is that some jackasses presented an app about boobs? Sexism is such a big distraction that it's worth taking head on, and dismantling.

I posted my new position on Twitter, and now find myself explaining why I ever thought sexism in tech was OK.

I'd also been in tech since 2001. I wasn't seeing the problems clearly because I'd been part of the industry for too long. I also wanted to focus on getting things done rather than on feminist-inspired activism. So I made the bros-only atmosphere work for me. I overcompensated by picking a frat boy to cofound a company with me (he was MIT & YC, by the way). I had the greatest time drinking scotch at Google I/O with some of the best CTOs in the media industry. They treated me like a bro. I didn't want to lose those moments. And I thought that there was room for other women to have a similarly good experience.

I experienced sexism all the time, but I overlooked it because I was too busy working. My year living and working with younger Silicon Valley startup guys in the SoMA district of San Francisco was an onslaught of misogyny, penis jokes, porn references, and general lack of common courtesy. The oddest part was the inability to switch gears. What made these guys think that I'd want to hear their masturbation humor? That's what happened at the Disrupt hackathon. Those guys weren't able to switch gears out of brogrammer mode. One wonders if they ever switch gears.

Let's be clear—sexism isn't owned by startup bros from frats out of MIT. I've been hit on by VCs (one messaged me on Gchat to ask if my OKCupid profile was for research) and another introduced himself at the TC August Capital party by stating that he'd like to make out with me. (To be fair, my badge read "CEO of MakeOut Labs," but that introduction was brazen). I've been sympathetic to these bad actors. With so few women around, it's almost reasonable that they can't get past seeing me as one of their only romantic prospects. And yet, we find ourselves wondering why more women don't choose to be part of this world.

Despite all of this, I continued to defened the status quo. I wanted to just drink scotch with my guy friends and build software. I'm done now. I didn't want to think about gender issues but the alternative is tit and dick jokes at our industry's most respected events.

Proactively enforcing standards at major tech events is a good start. But we need to address the root cause as well. Hackers at these events shouldn't be trying to present apps like Titshare as demonstrations. Parents should feel comfortable bringing their nine year olds to these events. Making tech hospitable to women won't be easy but this much is clear: we do need to figure out how to get more women in the room.