Sorry, but this is just creepy. I am a very small cuttlefish in a big internet pond, and I very rarely get the sort of nasty emails that some of my FtB colleagues do. So it was a bit shocking, today, to check my stats and see (to be utterly honest, I get very few links, so even one shows up as significant) the search term “Kill Atheists” leading here.

Kill atheists? In what context could that possibly be acceptable?

It appears that the searching site is Dutch, which actually makes me even more creeped out. Nobody hates the Dutch, and the Dutch hate nobody (and my sister-in-law is Dutch!)… but Kill Atheists? What is more, it would appear that on this particular search, my blog was the number one hit!

Anyway, for whatever reason whoever it was searched “Kill Atheists”… this is what they found. Under the title “Why don’t atheists just kill themselves?” (you can see the context there at the link, or just read on for the verse). It is a verse I am actually particularly proud of, inspired by Warren Zevon and a ton of internet comments asking “why don’t atheists just kill themselves?”. I’ve been thinking about it quite a lot recently, for reasons unrelated to today’s post. Here it is:

I’d constructed the ultimate sandwich

Perfection in bread, cheese, and meat

But there’s something I don’t understand, which

Has been making it harder to eat

See, although it is surely delightful

There’s a truth that I cannot suspend

That at some point, I’ll reach the last bite full

And the pleasure will come to an end

And my life, too, is not everlasting

And the Reaper will pay me a call

It’s the same, whether gorging or fasting

So why am I eating at all?

Since nothing in life lasts forever

There’s one life, all too brief, here on earth

The argument’s not even clever

That a transient joy has no worth

There are joys in this life to be tasted

There are days filled with utter delight

There is too little time to be wasted

There’s a sandwich—enjoy every bite!

So… That’s your choice–a bad poem about sandwiches and life, or Kill Atheists.

Maybe I should have written about pie.

Share this: Print

Email

Facebook

Twitter

Reddit

