Completely Honest Predictions for Season 2 Plots

Nightmare Hospital: Steven visits Connie’s Mom at her job. Turns out she’s more of a bitch than expected.

Same Old World: Pearl apologizes to the Mayans for being “indirectly” responsible for the fall of their once great civilization.

Hit the Diamond: Pearl finally gets laid!

Steven Floats: The citizens see that Steven can float in water. They try him for witchcraft.

Too Short to Ride: Pearl finally explains to Amethyst why they don’t form Opal more often.

Drop Beat Dad: Steven has an imaginary friend that looks exactly like Greg, but is a rapper.

Mr. Greg: Greg gets married to Mayor Dewey.

The New Lars: Lars gets fired and replaced with someone more competent.

Beach City Drift: Against all odds, Beach City drifts into the ocean.

Restaurant Wars: The Frymans and the Pizza declare war on each other. With real weapons.

Kiki’s Pizza Service Delivery: Kiki delivers Jenny as a peace offering to end the bloodshed.

Monster Reunion: All the gem monsters go to their high school reunion, where the crystal gems are waiting.

Alone at Sea: Flashback episode where we see Sugilite’s journey back to Beach City after Pearl abandoned her.

Greg the Babysitter: Greg babysits Onion. Dies.

Gem Hunt: Jamie goes postal and decides to hunt the gems.

Crack the Whip: The GOP are lobbying to have the show canceled due to all the lesbians. The gems take action by kidnapping and interrogating their whip.

Steven Vs. Amethyst: Steven sues Amethyst for Copyright infringement.

Beta Part 1: Steven has to deal with being called a Beta Male.

Earthlings Part 2: Nothing happens.

Back 2 the Moon Part 3: Pearl tries to steal the moon.

Bubbled: Garnet does what needed to be done a long time ago, and finally bubbles up Pearl.

Kindergarten Kid: Amethyst returns to Kindergarten, but accidentally goes to a kindergarten in school. Wacky shenanigans and dead children ensue.

Gem Harvest: The Steven Universe Star Wars Parody.

Know Your Fusion: Stevonnie asks herself tough questions about life, gender, sexuality, and bagels.

Tiger Philanthropist: Jasper is able to get out of Malachite and shocks everybody by doing philanthropy.

Last One out of Beach City: There’s only one piece of pizza left in Beach City, until they make more and all conflict is averted.