WARNING! Spoilers

The last time we visited Litchfield Correctional, Piper Chapman (Taylor Schilling) was giving Pennsatucky (Taryn Manning) an epic smack down in the prison yard. Truth be told, it was so brutal, many of us weren’t even sure if Pennsatucky survived the savage beating. And in the first episode of season 2 it appears that Piper isn’t so sure herself. After spending almost a month in the SHU (short for solitary confinement) the series opens with Piper being hustled out of SHU, into a van, then to an airport tarmac where a plane full of prisoners awaits, a stop at another airport where male prisoners are picked up and then to Chicago where she’s processed into a maximum security prison. All this time, we along with Piper, are panicking and demanding to know “Where are you taking her?!?!” This episode is directed by Jodie Foster. I found myself smiling at the scene where one of the female prisoners taken aboard AirCon is wearing a Hannibal Lecter mask.



Upon Piper’s arrival in her new cell she accidentally steps on Yoda and kills him. “Yoda” is a cigarette toting cockroach her cellmates had trained and he was one of the best, and now they’re thoroughly pissed at Piper, demanding that she find them another adequate cockroach to replace the departed Yoda. Piper hasn’t even introduced herself and she’s already upsetting her new cellmates who include an astrology obsessed psycho (she also thinks Piper is Lindsey Lohan), Yoda’s mom/trainer who takes four shits a day while belting out “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman” in between grunts. Poor Piper can’t catch a break!

While in the mess hall Piper spots Alex Vause (Laura Prepon) and is briefly able to speak with her. Alex explains that they’re in Chicago to testify at the trial of Alex’s drug dealing former boss. She also insists that Piper lie and claim to not know him or anything about him. Alex says that if they testify against him, he will find them no matter where they go and mete out a vicious revenge. Piper is conflicted between doing what’s right and telling the truth and being loyal to Alex. In a series of childhood flashbacks we see that Piper was a goody two-shoes who idolized her father; a father who taught her to always be honest (even if he wasn’t) and yet doing what’s right often had more consequences than rewards. Despite her lawyer (Larry’s dad) strongly advising her to testify whatever she knows…because it’s the law and it will probably reduce her sentence. Piper fearing for her own and Alex’s safety lies on the stand claiming not to know anything. And what does Alex do? What does Alex always do?! She fucks Piper over…again! She testifies and is freed.

The second episode does not feature Piper at all…in fact most of the season is focused less on Piper and more on the other inmates which is great because while it is Piper’s story, OITNB works as well as it does because it is an ensemble cast of such diverse characters. In this episode we see Taystee’s backstory as a child who is a ward of the state. She’s also a math genius who’s desperate to be adopted by a loving family. She’s approached by the manipulative and cunning Vee (Lorraine Toussaint) a drug peddler who employs kids to do her drug running. Taystee (Danielle Brooks) is no dummy and refuses Vee’s offer of “family”. But by the time she reaches her teens she finally relents and starts working for Vee, the closest thing she’s ever had to a mother.



When Healy tries to get Pennsatucky to keep quiet that he witnessed her confrontation with Piper but did nothing to prevent it, the meth head agrees that she can keep quiet if she had better teeth….and if you remember how bad they were in season 1 imagine how they look now (what’s left of them) after the ass whooping Piper administered. Well, for the rest of the season she’s gonna be flashing her new pearly whites. By the way there’s a very funny Groupon coupon reference between Larry and his dad when they realize the sauna they’re at is a gay bathhouse. There’s also a mock job fair where the ladies are mocked more than guided on their choice of clothes by the facilitator.

Episode 3 has Piper returning home….how odd….to refer to a prison as home. Yet for Piper and fans of the show Litchfield has become a kind of home. So anyway, this is a different Piper that returns… a hardened one who isn’t taking shit from nobody. Wait til you see who her new cell mate is. But before that she has to bunk in the original room when she first arrived last season with DeMarco (Lin Tucci), Miss Rosa (Barbara Rosenblat) and two new inmates; somebody from Taystee’ past…..yep it’s Vee and a young and very talkative activist Brook Soso (Kimiko Glenn).



Piper and Pennsatucky are called into a meeting by Caputo and told to call a truce. It’s while speaking to Caputo and trying to explain that Pennsatucky never got a punch in that Piper recalls something that happened that night. While she was beating Pennsatucky within an inch of her life, Crazy Eyes (Uzo Aduba) stepped out in to the yard and charged at Piper punching her twice and ending the “fight” with both Piper and Pennsatucky later found lying in the snow with bloodied faces. Piper realizes that this is why she didn’t receive a worse punishment or more jail time….as far as the staff is concerned it was a fair fight in which Pennsatucky threw in some punches as well.

Crazy Eyes back story is also revealed. We see a Suzanne who early on displayed emotional/mental issues but her white, optimistic pushy adoptive mother refused to acknowledge or perhaps was overwhelmed with the challenge she presented. There’s a painful scene at Crazy Eyes high school graduation where she’s supposed to sing in front of her class and not only freezes but has a Crazy Eyes “moment”. For those of you who remember the last episode of season 1, Crazy Eyes was supposed to sing during the Christmas pageant and froze. We now know that she fled outside into the yard and punched out Piper (while shouting “no!”). Was Piper the real target of her rage or was she the stand-in for another waspy, pretty blonde lady?



In Episode 4 we get to see Lorna Morello’s (Yael Stone) backstory . Remember her fiancé, Christopher, she’s always going on about and the wedding she’s planning? Never happened. She went out with Christopher on just one date….that’s all. He didn’t care to pursue anything more with her. In fact, he’s engaged to another woman. We learn that he had to place a restraining order on Morello and that the latter is in prison after placing an explosive device under the girlfriend’s car. Basically Lorna’s a stalker. She’s a complete fraud. She seems so sweet and likeable and yet she’s mental! Wait until you see what she does while waiting in the van for Miss Rosa to get her chemo treatment.

The scene where Sophia (Laverne Cox) has to give some of the inmates a lesson in the female anatomy is to die for.

Poussey (Samira Wiley)is making an enemy out of Vee when she refuses to go into business with her and sell her hooch. Poussey tries to explain that she only makes it to share with her friends …she has no intention to turn a profit with it.



It turns out that Taystee isn’t the only one who knows Vee. Red knows her too. Years ago they both arrived in Litchfield at about the same time and were friends….or at least that’s what Red thought until Vee double crossed her and left her lying in a pool of her own blood.

And what about Larry(Jason Biggs)? Of all the women he could have hooked up with after breaking up with Piper who does he hook up with? We saw it coming….her best friend Polly (Maria Dizzia)! What?! How?! Didn’t she just have a baby? She sure did and she’s been letting a lonely Larry glimpse those breastfeeding nipples (sans baby) while her husband is away in Alaska finding himself or something stupid like that while he loses his wife. Now I know that Piper is something of a narcissist who believes everything centers around her but even she doesn’t deserve this.



In episode 5 Leanne (Emma Myles) pushes out Pennsatucky and becomes the queen bee of the Litchfield meth heads. In Poussey’s flashbacks we see her living happily in Germany where her father, a military officer, is stationed. She’s in love with her German girlfriend and ecstatic because her dad has promised her that they are going to stay in Germany and not uproot anymore. Well girlfriend’s dad who discovers them in bed has other plans and has Poussey’s dad transferred again. I have to say that with each new episode Poussey is becoming a favorite character. She’s an absolute sweetheart and manages to retain her moral compass in a place where right and wrong are often sacrificed in order to survive. Vee’s manipulation of Crazy Eyes, Watson(Vicky Jeudy), Black Cindy (Adrienne C. Moore) and Taystee is not lost on Poussey. Yeah, she’s been invited to join their tobacco contraband operation and for awhile she does until she realizes that Vee is smuggling in heroin. It’s to her credit that she will not sacrifice her principles even at the cost of losing her friends (Taystee in particular) or even placing herself in danger.



In this episode Larry wants Piper to spy for a journalist who’s doing a story on the missing funds at Litchfield. Piper still doesn’t know about Larry and Polly.

I’m tired of recapping episode by episode so let’s just keep reviewing. Piper receives some sad news that her beloved grandmother is dying. She asks Healy for furlough in order to see her grandmother before she dies. She doesn’t expect it to be granted, especially since the other inmates have told her that nobody ever gets furlough…it’s like the Loch Ness Monster of Litchfield, nobody has ever seen it. To her surprise Healy grants her a furlough (partly because he feels guilty over the role he played in last season’s finale). I should point out that Healy is trying to be a better person. He knows he has anger issues and not only creates a “Safe Place” for the inmates to be able to discuss their feelings, but he’s also seeking therapy. During one of his conversations with Pennsatucky (who also is trying to be a better person) we catch a glimpse of the source of Healy’s lesbophobia when he shows her a book and mentions to Pennsatucky that pretty soon men will become obsolete on this planet. We see his fears at the root of his prejudice and rage…..but obviously there must be a deeper motive than just a book. Needless to say when the inmates get wind that Piper got furlough it does not go over well, especially with the black wing of the inmates who see it as white privilege.

Speaking of racial divisions, there’s a Black vs Latina turf feud brewing courtesy of the new resident shit-stirrer Vee. Last season Pennsatucky was the main antagonist but that bible misquoting meth-head is not even a third as smart, cunning, and ruthless as Vee. When I tell you that the latter is more dangerous and deadlier than a rattlesnake with two sets of fangs I am not exaggerating.



In Gloria’s (Selenis Leyva) flashbacks we discover that despite being a badass who doesn’t take crap from nobody she was a battered woman. She was arrested for fraud shortly before she attempted to get away from her abusive boyfriend. The boyfriend burns to death when he’s trapped in a room full of candles (Santeria!) while attempting to steal the money Gloria had been saving to get herself and her kids away from him.

Another character whose past life we visit through flashbacks is Black Cindy. She used to be a TSA agent but was stealing from passengers (when she wasn’t feeling up the handsome ones) as well as pilfering items from the airport. It also turns out that her younger sister is really her daughter but the child doesn’t know it.

Bennett and Daya’s relationship is hitting a few snags, although seriously….who didn’t see that coming? Bennett also puts a stop to the Latina posse trying to blackmail him….somebody’s going to SHU. And on that topic Caputo is making the guards even more strict then ever before. They know there is tobacco contraband as well as other contraband but they have no idea how it’s getting in to the prison. The pressure is on from Figueroa (Alysia Reiner), the assistant warden who we all know has been embezzling prison funds for her own personal expenses as well as her husband’s political career. Interestingly enough, when Piper decides to spy for Larry’s journalist friend she needs a cover for all the questions she’s been asking and requests permission to start a prison newsletter. Her request is granted.

Vee has pretty much taken over the prison….she’s muscling out the Latinas and moving in on Red’s new contraband site ….an underground tunnel beneath the greenhouse. And when Poussey refuses to peddle narcotics for her and drunkenly (on her own brew) confronts her and calls her out on who and what she truly is, Vee sets Crazy Eyes loose on her to administer a beating. Eventually the ladies will realize that Poussey was right all along about Vee, but not before the real monster that is Vee emerges.



After Fisher gets fired, Pornstache (Pablo Schreiber) returns to his former job. When Bennett informs Caputo that Daya (Dascha Polanco) is pregnant and she’s made to take a pregnancy test, Pornstache is arrested and paraded out in handcuffs before the women he used to humiliate. I almost felt sorry for him taken the fall for Bennett but then I remembered Miller’s suicide last season, how he treated the inmates and Red in particular and my pity quickly dissipated.

I forgot to mention that before Red’s prison family finally forgives her she’s befriended by a group of older inmates…initially Red declines being invited to their table….she doesn’t want to be considered old and washed up. But her geriatric new friends prove to be more loyal and quite fierce in protecting her. When Taystee gets shanked by a member of Red’s new grandma posse it’s only because the 80 year old has poor eyesight and confused her with Vee.

Sister Ingalls (Beth Fowler) flashbacks introduce us to an idealistic young nun protesting the Vietnam War. In fact Sister Ingalls and the verbose Brook (this girl does not shut up!) go on a hunger strike to protest certain prison conditions. Actually Brook goes on strike because she’s forced to shower and wear deodorant after several inmates complain about her B.O. As Pennsatucky informs her in the laundry room “you smell like a fuckin turtle tank!” when the other meth-heads try to gently inform her she needs to bathe. Sister Ingalls initially despises Brook’s ‘Occupy Now’ type of activism but eventually they find some common ground.



Despite the chemo Miss Rosa is dying and it’s Healey who has to tell her. In flashbacks we see her as a young, attractive Latina rocking a gorgeous mane of thick dark hair and robbing banks with her crew….a stark contrast to the older, sick, bald (chemo) and physically weak yet spiritually tough woman she now is.

Alex makes few appearances this season….remember she screwed over Piper …again….but those lips, that voice, that laugh, that smile, those glasses, those breasts….fuck it! We forgive her ….ok I forgive her. But the one time she visits Piper it’s to tell her she’s splitting town because she seriously fears for her life. In fairness to Alex she’s been made aware that her former drug lord boss’ goons are casing her neighborhood and asking about her.



We also see Larry and Polly showing up at Litchfield actually expecting Piper’s blessing! Piper calls them on the carpet and rips them a new one. Later, however, she calls Larry (who’s in the car with Polly and puts Piper on speaker phone) to ask him to call Alex’s parole officer and inform him that she plans to leave town. When Larry seems ambivalent about it, she asks Polly to do it. Guess who’s coming back to Litchfield next season?

The final scene is just so…..I don’t even want to give it away. Those of you who have already seen it understand why. It’s both poignant and empowering with a couple of “Yes!” moments. The choice of song was perfect of course.

I can’t wait for Season 3!