Over the weekend, exercising its quadrennial fantasy that it is in any way an important institution, the Manchester Union-Leader threw its support behind Chris Christie—where, it should be said, there certainly is plenty of room. This was clearly a kingmaking move on the part of the fishwrap that the late Hunter Thompson once called the worst newspaper in the world. Despite all the available evidence that a) the U-L doesn't swing the weight it once swung under the Loebs and, b) that Big Chicken is still polling in the mid-single digits, the endorsement has set off a tiny boomlet among those people wandering the landscape, looking for a Republican candidate whose eyeballs are both spinning in the same direction. There is a certain desperation in watching the elite political media scramble to avoid the self-evident fact that the GOP has lost its mind. Donald Trump and Ben Carson are still fighting up in Bedlam's penthouse. Jeb (!) is still as stiff as an ironing board. Marco Rubio is presently locked in a mano-y-mano with Ted Cruz, which has redirected the momentum of both men. The Carly Fiorina Moment has passed. So there's Big Chicken, who's stopped (for the moment) bullying schoolteachers in favor of a softer, more reasonable tone, especially on drug addiction. He's also been thumping the war drums right along with all of them. He's what's left.

However, the U-L's fulsome endorsement caught the eye of Tom Moran, who runs the editorial page at the Newark Star-Ledger, which has been the go-to source for information on Big Chicken's crony-laden misfeasance as governor of that state, a day job in which Big Chicken recently has been marginally more engaged than I have. Moran found the New Hampshire newspaper's editorial a whole freezer full of hilarity.

The paper has been paying close attention to Christie's speeches in New Hampshire, and his visit to the editorial board. And that's a dangerous game when it comes to a slick character like our governor. Take Bridgegate. The editorial made no mention of it. "It has nothing to do with the governor," Bosse says. It's possible Christie didn't know about the lane closures or the cover-up. But this is a governor whose cabinet members don't go to the bathroom without his permission. At a minimum, these were his senior appointees. How about pension reform? The board in Manchester did not know that Christie broke his core promise on that by skipping pension payments. "I don't know if we went into the weeds on pension reform," Bosse said. The editorial said he "dealt admirably" with Sandy. That would come as a shock to the actual victims, 60 percent of whom say they are dissatisfied with the state's response. On jobs, the paper saw no reason to check Christie's dismal record. "Politicians don't create jobs, so we didn't want to give that any credibility," Bosse said. How about the nine credit downgrades on Christie's watch as governor? "That largely stems from the fact that while he's been successful holding back tax increases, he hasn't been as successful in restraining spending. Credit agencies like taxes. They don't reward states for fiscal discipline."… And this editorial confirms my worse fears about this presidential race. It's all about performance, not substance. What else could explain the fact that nearly two-thirds of Republican voters say their first choice is Donald Trump, Ben Carson, or Texas Sen. Ted Cruz? Christie is not even paying attention to New Jersey these days, despite the bad shape we're in. Legislators and business leaders can't get their calls returned. He's focusing on his performance. And the frightening fact is that in American politics today, that's a sensible choice.

The endorsement, however, does bring into focus an interesting development in the Republican race as we head into the new year. There are now two distinct campaigns being contested by two distinct fields—there is the campaign in Iowa and there is the campaign in New Hampshire. The former is a battle for the basest of the base, the Bible-banging hayshakers who will turn out in a blizzard to caucus for their choice. The latter is a battle among the contenders who the Iowa Republicans consider to be tools of Satan. The only one who seems to be trying to middle the two constituencies is Rubio, but his clumsy entanglement with Cruz likely will cost him in Iowa. Meanwhile, New Hampshire is the Last Chance Saloon for Jeb (!), for Christie, and, unless he gets a decent result in Iowa, possibly Rubio as well. (New Hampshire likely will cull the underbrush. People like John Kasich, Rand Paul and Lindsey Graham have very little chance anyway, but New Hampshire is vital to whatever chance they still have.) And if, as seems likely, we get a dramatically split result from both of the first two states, then the job of clarifying the Republican primary campaign will fall to the next state up, eleven days later.

That would be South Carolina.

Yeah, good luck with that.

Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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