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Can you spell correctly? Are you familiar with basic grammar? Are you at least two-thirds water?

Alex Jones would like to hire you for his website.

On Sunday the conspiracy theorist and nutritional-supplement salesman—who reportedly has the ear of President Donald Trump—posted a job opening on his website for a breaking news intern at Infowars.com. Ostensibly it’s a journalism internship, but Jones doesn’t sound especially picky:

We want someone who can spell correctly, knows proper grammar and does NOT plagiarize! It’s also useful, but not necessary, to have knowledge in journalism including the “inverted pyramid” writing structure, the five Ws (Who, What, When, Where and Why – especially the Why) of a story and the art of hard-hitting headlines. News junkies who read the Drudge Report every day are encouraged to apply.

There you have it. Orphans preferred.