Photograph by Rikki Snyder / NYT / Redux

Ah, nature! It’s bold. It’s beautiful. It’s real. And my absolute favorite thing about it? The fruits. Oh my, the fruits!

[I sense that you’re trying to scroll down to find the recipe without reading this preamble I was kind enough to write for you. Yes, I dabble in creative writing and must insist that you enjoy this incredibly detailed tangential anecdote about the muffins before I tell you how to make them.]

The Mister and I went backpacking through Italy many summers ago and happened upon the most impossibly juicy cherries. I remember asking the fruit vendor, “Da dove sono queste ciliegie?” (“Where are these cherries from?”) And she (yes, she) said they were from an orchard a mere twelve miles away! So we hopped on our Vespas and hit the dusty, open road.

[Are you still looking for the recipe? What part of “you have to read the story first” did you not understand? I know I'm talking about cherries, not even blueberries, right now, and am describing a trip I went on six years ago, but writing is my hobby-within-a-hobby, and I’ll be damned if I let you skip over this!]

At the orchard, we met an old man named Leopoldo whose face was beautifully lined and who told the beautiful story of a beautiful life well lived. He let us sample all the cherries the orchard had to offer—sweet, sweeter, red. It was amazing. And that’s when I realized something: the world is inspiring. Fruit is inspiring. If you let it be.

[Are you wondering why the words “blueberry” and “muffin” haven’t come up yet? Or why, somehow, it still sounds like we’re midstory? Listen, scumbag, the recipe is only one part of the muffin process, and to truly make this muffin you must first know this muffin. So keep reading.]

As the sun began to set, the Mister and I said goodbye to Leopoldo and his lovely family: Bella (his wife), Dario (his eldest son), Dino (his youngest son), and Giuseppe (his nephew who has died since the writing of this entry, unfortunately). My mind now brimming with berries, I dreamt up a new hobby: Perhaps I could make preserves—marmalades! Jams! Spreads! Compotes! Oh, maybe even jellies! But then, as we passed a final bakery in the Italian aeroporto, I thought, No. A muffin. It had to be a muffin. And this brings me to the “humble” (YUMMY!) blueberry.

[Are you hitting “ctrl + F” to try to look up “Ingredients” or something stupid like that? Well, listen up, you muffin-hungry slob, you’re on my turf/WordPress, and I experimented with alliteration and took cool photos and shit, so you’ll do exactly as I say and read on.]

Let’s talk snack science for a sec. A berry is classified as a small fruit without a stone (i.e., pit). So a cherry, then, is not technically a berry. Fascinating, right?! A cherry is actually what’s known as a drupe. And while cherry muffins would have been their own little adventure, I found none in the farmers’ markets of the Hudson Valley that quite compared to the drupes I had in Italia.

But a blueberry? Hmm! A blueberry is a little sweet, and a little tart—just like me! It felt predestined. So I put on my favorite Spotify Premium jazz channel and set to work figuring out the ideal mix of ingredients. This batter was my paint, and these muffins were my Sistine Chapel. Just call me Muffinangelo!

[Did you really come all the way to my blog just for baking instructions sans the creative energy and weird Googling I wanted to front-load them with? Sure, you've made it this far in the painfully detailed journey, but have you earned my trust?]

Yum! After just a handful of minutes in the oven, the muffins were peak golden. Which is good, because I was peak hungry. Now, I could have polished them all off right then and there (confession: I’m a carb freak!) but, thankfully, I tucked a few away for the Mister, so I wouldn’t be tempted.

These muffins are perfect for a late-night snack, a P.T.A. meeting, a bake sale, breakfast, a muffin party, going on the road, a blueberry festival, lunch, kids, a cake bar/bat mitzvah, hanging out with your friends, dinner, donating blood, a witch festival, the moon harvest, birthdays, an uncomfortable visit with your in-laws, or truly any other event at which you’d want to eat food!

So. Ready to try out these muffins for yourself? CLICK HERE.