Men are complicated, nuanced beings. No two men define masculinity the same way, and each of their boners hides its own precious secret. Many are desperate for every woman to love them, while at the same time compelled to explain their own jokes to them on Twitter. But despite the vast and wondrous spectrum that is man, Hollywood seems to have extremely specific ideas of what a man is supposed to be. And it's not super great.

6 If You're Less Than 6 Feet Tall, You're Not A Real Man

You can be the most handsome, witty, charismatic male on Earth, but if you're one inch below average height, then tough shit. Hollywood will desperately avoid revealing that awful truth to the audience, lest they vomit in the aisles with disgust. Such is the life of a short action star.

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If shortness is acknowledged on screen, it's as a punchline -- a hilarious inadequacy that either leads to constant, desperate attempts at comedy or a life of crime as a bad guy's sidekick. Movies would have us believe that short people live a life of existential struggle, that they are nothing more than incomplete souls crying out from children's clothes.

The average height of an American male is 5 feet 9.5 inches tall. (Strangely enough, surveys reveal this is the exact same length of the average American penis.) Tom Cruise is famously 2.5 inches shorter than this average, but we only know that because our own insecurity demands we find a flaw, any flaw, in this 54-year-old man with 2 percent body fat and chiseled features that become only more handsome with age. Yet you'd never know he was a tiny man from watching his movies. For example, Ving Rhames is over 6 feet, but he's shorter than Tom in that picture up there. How? Is he sitting down? Forty yards behind him? Take look at another shot from Mission: Impossible ...

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Mark Whalberg is 5'8 and Zac Efron is 5'8. Sylvester Stallone is barely two apples high. And yet every time they're in a movie, they are looking all the normal people in the eyes, filmmakers forcing them to stand on little boxes to hide that they are grotesque, undersized genetic failures.