WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | CONTACT

The underfire board members at Big 4 Bank Westpac have begun discreetly exploring other career opportunities it can be confirmed.

This follows their CEO tragically and painfully being paid $2.7 million dollars to quit, and their Chairman stepping down after the bank they were in charge of was alleged to have facilitated serious money-laundering breaches.

AUSTRAC is alleging the bank was responsible for 23 million breaches of anti-money laundering and counter-terror finance laws, including transactions involving child exploitation in the Philippines.

After those revelations, The Advocate can reveal that the members of Westpac’s board are hoping to take a fat pay cheque and land a new job with another organisation well-versed in facilitating child exploitation and protecting those in the business of it.

“Rome wouldn’t be so bad, and given there’s a job vacancy in the Vatican after you know who get sent to regional Victoria for a few years, it makes sense that we should apply,” said one anonymous banker.

“It’s just obviously there is a bit of competition from the rest of the board right now, but I’ll be doing my best to put my case forward and prove my credentials.”

We were then unable to keep up with the bankers who were reportedly on their way to drown their sorrows in a long lunch while the company credit card still worked.