As we head into the softball/baseball season, we look for something that will make what is otherwise a torturous slow passage of time a little more enjoyable. Now, I’m all for the national pastime, but I do not believe baseball was meant to be a scoreless game where everybody gets to bat every “inning” and everyone is a winner. In the words of Crash Davis’ manager: “This is a very simple game. You throw the ball. You catch the ball. You hit the ball.” You do not spend three hours waiting for the post game snack while our little ones play leap-frog or pick clover. I find that the little guys are much like the Durham Bulls. “They lollygag the ball around the infield. They lollygag their way down to first. They lollygag in and out of the dugout. And, you know what that makes them? Lollygaggers!”

So, in the interest of sanity and hydration, I have found the Beerbelly. The Beerbelly is a product that is advertised as a “beer dispenser that fits stealthily and comfortably around your waist, under your shirt, with a feeder tube and bite valve that delivers beer to the user.” Not one to condemn or condone responsible drinking at a child’s game, if you feel you must, and can do so with great discretion, then the Beerbelly might be a necessary evil, or dare I say it, a relief “pitcher”.