Thou shalt have no other gods before money.

Thou shalt not take unto thee any thought not learned on Faux Noise.

Thou shalt not take the name of Saint Ronnie Ray Gun in vain.

Remember April 15, and evade paying thy taxes.

Honor thy father and thy mother, whilst cutting their Social Security and privatizing their Medicare.

Thou shalt kill whoever thy leaders tell thee to hate.

Thou shalt commit adultery, but thou shalt not get caught.

Thou shalt steal money from the poor to give to the rich.

Thou shalt always bear false witness against thy librul neighbor.

Thou shalt covet thy neighbor’s house, thou shalt covet thy neighbor’s wife, and his manservant, and his maidservant, and his ox, and his ass, and his wife’s ass, and every thing that is thy neighbor’s.

Thou shalt suck Koch.