As if vaginal products couldn’t get any more ridiculous.

At first, Gwyneth Paltrow told us all about the “joys” and “benefits” of vaginal steams. Lol, right? Somehow, the weird vaginal “health” market continued to stay strong even after the crazy Goop advice was ridiculed to oblivion.

Some women have started putting “herb balls” in their vaginas to “detox their wombs” and make their vaginas less depressed? We’ll spare you the NSFW photos of the consequences.

But, now, we’ve gotten to a whole new level of anti-scientific vaginal “care.” Reddit user Paid_Shill introduced us to the latest craze for the misinformed…. the vaginal wand!

Gynecologist Dr. Jen Gunter explains more on her blog debunking the practice:

“What is that, you ask? Well, it’s a stick made of plants and ground pearls and herbs and stuff that you insert into your vagina for 2 minutes (only 2 minutes, hold onto that nugget of info) to tighten things up. For him, of course. So he’ll desire you more.”

Dr. Gunter wasn’t joking. This is how the manufacturers advertise the product on their website.

It’s not all for his pleasure, however. The wand also claims to eliminate vaginal discharge all-together (as if that’s a good thing?). All for the low price of $39.99 USD.

Dr. Gunter tells us that inserting things into vaginas to make them “tighter” isn’t so unusual. The belief stems from a practice to “dry out” the vagina—which seems, uh, not fun? The theory goes that a dry, non-lubricated vagina results in painful penetration and spasms, which will “tighten the vaginal opening.”

In fact, according to a PLOS One study, women have inserted everything from herbs, bleach, and even pulverized rock in their vaginas. All in an effort to obtain the holy grail of vaginas: the dry, sandy, vagina. Yikes.

A vagina full of pulverized rock you say? It gives “dry-humping” a whole new meaning.

Vagina-drying hasn’t caught on in the US as of yet, but if there’s a market of potential gullible consumers, there’s a way!

According to the Guttmacher Institute:

“In South Africa, men have reported that vaginal wetness during sexual intercourse is an indicator of a woman’s infidelity, and have also associated vaginal lubrication with sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) and the use of contraceptives. “In Zaire, a wet or large vagina may be considered to be the result of a curse or bad luck. “In Senegal, drying agents may be used where there is a community belief that the vagina is not simply a natural part of the body, but must bear the mark of artistic “work.” “Both men and women have expressed preference for vaginal dryness and tightness.”

While purposely turning your vagina into the Sahara may seem absurd, especially since it contributes to higher STD transmissions, it’s really not too different from douching (which can dry out your vagina and increase a risk for infection) or inserting vaginal wands.

Gunter explains:

“If the Japanese vaginal stick can only be inserted for 2 minutes then it is almost certainly a direct caustic effect from chemicals (that is if it has any effect, the 2 minutes thing could just be smoke and mirrors to get a good placebo response like the $39.99). But if it does have some effect on the vagina it’s like over washing your hands until they are dried and cracked and bleeding, but achieved in 2 minutes. In the vagina.”

While Gunter does admit that some vaginas may technically get a little looser after childbirth or in old age, the effects are so negligible that a normally “stretched-out vagina” won’t impact sexual pleasure for the man or the woman.

If you are really worried about a loose vagina, Gunter recommends Kegel exercises instead.

“Vaginas should be wet and they should stretch. That’s part of what makes them fun. So please don’t get the Japanese vagina stick,” she wrote.