Owwww. Ow ow ow ow. The adrenaline must finally be wearing off. I remember what that felt like after my first fight. It didn't go much better than this one. All that time as a hero, and I'm still this reliant on Skaldi, and on my Mistresses? I won, but just barely, and he's a normal human. How am I going to make it back home if just a one-on-one fight with a mortal leaves me this bad?

I can barely see out of my left eye. The bruise from that axe handle is swelling up. I've been lying on this table for way too long, I'm wasting time, I just don't want to try to put weight on my leg again. "Okay, Jasmine. You can do this. Come on." I put on 'Eye of the Tiger' on my phone, letting it psych me up for a bit, and then, using the table for support, I clamber back onto my feet.

I wince and almost fall back down, but as I slowly ease off of the table, putting about a third of my weight onto my right leg, it doesn't buckle. It hurts. It hurts so much. But it's holding. Breathing through clenched teeth, I make my way toward the back wall. I'd been looking around for some sort of crutch while I was lying there, and I found two crossed spears over a shield. That'll be perfect.

Halfway there, I grab onto the nearest table as my leg disagrees with the way I step. I definitely need that spear. With the tables to support me, I manage to make it over to the back wall and pull down one of the spears. It hits me in the foot, but I manage to hold onto it and poke it into the ground, leaning against it on my left.

Some protection would probably be a good idea. The shield has wraps for me to shove my arm through, so I'll still be able to fight while using it. I slide it over my right arm – this is gonna be weird to get used to. I try walking a few steps. It'll make walking easier, and I'd have my left hand lower on it for spear fighting anyway, so this might work out.

After a few laps around the dining hall, I'm starting to feel a little more confident in myself. I can walk at least. I just need to avoid any fights. Plus, that way, I don't have to worry about killing anyone else.

Just the thought is enough to turn my stomach. I'd been planning on eating before I set out, but I don't think I can handle it now. Oh well. I'm already dead anyway.

The rubble by the hole in the wall makes crossing a bit harder now, but it's still easier than trying to open one of those doors like this. Through the hole and back outside, I take another look around. More time must have passed inside than I thought. It's dark outside.

Fires dot the night sky as I look out over the countryside. The hills make it harder to see, but there must be more people that way. Maybe they can tell me how to get out – though now that I know this is Hel, if they can get out, why wouldn't they?

Well, it's been long enough that maybe that's what they'd want? Their families would've all died too and they could be happy together. Yeah, that makes sense! No one would need to leave if they weren't trying to get back to somebody. There probably really are people here who could help me find the exit. I just need to keep going.

The fires are tough to make out, so they're definitely not close. They almost look like stars, just more orange. I can make it. I just have to walk – limp? – through the night. Then I can find them. Elsa, Anna, I'm coming. My cheeks burn. That's not usually why I say that.

Luckily, the hills aren't too steep. Even leaning heavily on the spear, I can manage to climb them with no issue. I go on like this for miles. How many hills are there? My inspirational music is still playing, so at least this feels like a montage. I just wish it meant that it sped things up.

To keep my mind off the pain, I sing along to the music. My voice rings out through Hel, filling the dark silence as I go, my phone's flashlight lighting the way. The shield obscures it, so I only have half of a beam, but it's still enough for me to keep going. I wish I could have the shield on the side of my uninjured eye. I'm having some pretty serious tunnel vision. With the light only being on the left and my sight only being on the right, all I can see is what's right in front of me. Hopefully there's nothing creeping next to me about me to kill me or anything.

It takes several hours of walking before I finally realize something. I'd thought about how dark it was before, especially with how easy it was to notice the fires, but it's far darker than it should be.

The sky isn't empty. Not quite. There's only nine stars in the sky. They're all far bigger than they should be, about the size of my fists, but their bluish lights, and the orange of the fires, give a strange overcast feel to the world. They're not enough to make out more than the general outline of the hills around me, but even with my flashlight, I can't quite make the world take on its normal color pallet.

These hills had looked like normal Earth hills in the day, green grass, brown dirt, a few rocks, but in this strange light, the feeling that I'm in some alien place keeps growing. I'm not in the home of the Aesir, I'm not around mead halls, and warriors, I'm in Hel. I'd prefer it over Hell by a massive amount, but it's not some wonderful magical land – well not wonderful. It's dangerous. And I can't see or walk. I'd really rather just have to find Odin.

After miles and miles, the hills finally start to die away. I still find myself having to climb one from time to time, and I can't make out much around me, but it seems like it's starting to end up with something flatter. I just wish I knew what to expect.

The shaft of my spear plunges down and water splashes up on me. I have to lean on my bad leg to keep from falling in. It still can't quite take my weight. I tumble over, screaming in pain as I fall onto my legs, the spear and phone clatter off on the rocks nearby.

Rocks dig into my knees and shins as I clamber around, trying to find my weapon. My phone must be face up, since it's light is just a dull glow. The music makes it sound close, but it's still just out of reach.

Unable to find my spear, I crawl to the light and snatch my phone. The land is illuminated as I wave my phone in a circle around me, looking for any threat. The ground is almost entirely pebbles. Jutting out from among them, the shaft of my spear dangles over water. I think it's a lake, but it's tough to tell.

I'm so glad I bought a heavy-duty case for my phone when I started super heroing. If I hadn't, then I'm pretty sure those rocks would've broken it, and I'd have to spend however long it takes to find my way out without a soundtrack. I retrieve the spear and finally manage to get back to my feet. The water goes on for a while. At least it's something new.

I start to walk, my spear tapping loudly on the stones as I go. Just barely, over the sounds of Demi Lovato, I can hear a faint rippling, like something's disturbed the water.

Apparently, something has. There's a huge splash, drenching me. I throw myself to the ground. That's not a good sign.

Just as I land, rather painfully, something thumps down behind me. Two more footsteps sound, as I turn around, holding my spear up. Whatever it is stops. I point my phone toward it and feel a sudden stinging pain as the light flips and spins in the air, my phone landing with a soft sploosh in the water, the music muffling, burbling up from the lake in a distorted harmony. At least it's waterproof.

I hold the shield up again. It saved my hand from whatever the heck this thing is when it thwacked away my phone. Hopefully it'll keep doing so while I try to sort out what to do. It charges again. I can hear its feet pounding on the ground. Just two of them. So it's something that wouldn't even run on all fours. That's weird.

I don't have time to think about it any more, as its full weight slams into my shield. I put my weight on my left leg, pushing it into the grounds behind me, the wet pebbles not giving me the best footing. Holding the spear from the center, I jab it over the top of my shield. I feel like Leonidas! "For Sparta!" I can say that. My girlfriends are Greek gods.

The head of the spear jabs into the creature, I can feel its hide beginning to give way when I hear a sickening snap and my hand plunges forward. My spear broke. Crap.

A few quick slaps with the broken shaft and it runs off again. I turn, trying to track it the best I can by the sound of its steps. If I didn't have my music so damn loud, then maybe I'd be able to hear it better, but I can't really do anything about that right now. I hear it charge again. It's close, I put up my shield, leaning into it, trying to ignore the pain as my right leg struggles to support me.

As it strikes my shield, I can feel the wood buckle under its might. It must've been going a lot faster this time. I'm hurled back, smack into the lake. Instinctively, I take in a breath as I hit, filling my lungs with water. Coughing only makes the situation worse. I hear another splash. It must be right behind me. I'm going to die.

Elsa.

Anna.

Please.

I need you.

Skaldi? Please.

The water doesn't freeze over. It doesn't all evaporate. There's no gunshots, no stabbing. There's just the slight bubbling sound of something else swimming in the water. I'm all on my own, against a monster that I can't even see. I can barely even make out the light from my phone and I should only be a few feet from it. It's so dark.

I turn and hold out what's left of my shield. I'm sure it's useless in the water, but I don't have any other options. I don't have any hope.

I don't feel an attack. No jaws bite off my head, claws don't rip away my shield and my arm with it, nothing happens. Instead, I feel something swim by me. Not thinking, I grab onto its back. It's hairy, and even bigger than I thought. I don't know why I did it. It's not even like I have a dagger I can try to stab it with. I wish I still had Skaldi. I could just freeze the water around it.

At least it'll be harder for it to eat me like this. My music seems to be getting louder. He's charging right for it. Lenka's Slow Lane is playing out and I can even see the light. Barely. It's like it's foggy down here. The water must be so dirty. Ew. I need a shower.

I feel the creature underneath me swipe at something, its arm moving through the water faster than I'd have believed. I don't know how something humanoid could move that fast under water. It doesn't seem possible.

It hit my phone!

My phone floats up above my head and I manage to snatch it. I'm so glad I bought this case.

Wait. It attacked my phone! It attacked me because of the sounds. It's like Venom or like – my eyes widen at the realization. I've got a riddle for you. What's big, furry, dead, Norse, and hates sounds? Give up? Grendel!

Its turning around, spinning in circles, looking for the source of the sound. I must be so light it can barely notice me. Or maybe I'm just quiet. I unlock my phone and quickly pause the music and turn the light off for good measure.

Rather than grabbing me from its back and ripping me to shreds, it stops, which is a bit of a relief, because I don't know how much more spinning I could handle. The spinning tea cups always made me throw up. It seems to relax and I release my grip, paddling as quietly as I can toward the surface. It doesn't seem to be looking for me. Hopefully, it's not hungry, and even more hopefully it doesn't change its mind.

When the open air hits my face I have to fight every instinct not to gasp for air. I have to be quiet. I take slow, steady breaths, and manage to not sputter up the water in my lungs. I can cough and hack it all up if I have to when I'm very far away from here. Right now, I just need to make it to the shore.

At the bank, I clamber onto all fours, feeling the rocks beneath me, the head of my spear poking my palm as I feel around. It doesn't go in, but it still stings a little. I don't bother getting up. Between my leg and the dark it's just too dangerous. I can crawl.

The shield only gets in the way, and seems to be missing half of its wood, so I leave it behind. I stick to the edge of the lake, and just hope that I'll be able to notice before I go in a circle. Feeling my way along, my left hand constantly hitting the water, I crawl for what feels like hours. In fact, it must have actually been hours, because it's not so dark anymore.

The sun is rising. Oh thank God. Looking around, I can still barely make out the hills that I came from. Great. I've maybe managed to make it two miles in the past, what, six hours? I clamber to my feet, wincing as my leg fights me. My shins are scraped and bloody, my harem pants ripped to shreds below the knees, the protective under-layer frayed and exposed. Walking hurts even more than it had before, and now I don't have anything for support.

That village has to be near here, right? I saw those lights. Even from the top of the hill, they couldn't have been more than five, maybe six miles away. That would make them somewhere around two miles away now, if I haven't lost my bearings. I'll find them. Maybe they'll even have medicine, something to kill this pain and prevent an infection, but at the very least they should have a spear.

Limping, I manage to make it another mile or so before I need to rest. I collapse. There's not even a path anymore. I don't know when I went off of it. I hope I'm still going the right way. There's a few trees, a hill, and I think I can hear a river, but I'm farther away from that lake at least.

My phone says that it's midnight. I wonder what the time difference is. It's battery still says zero percent, and it's still working like normal. This case was an amazing investment, and being in the afterlife must be helping some too. I start up my music. I don't feel like singing along, but I do miss home. I put on some Mozart. My father always loved him. I should have dinner with him when I get back. It's been a couple weeks and I miss him. I know he worries about me.

After about twenty minutes, I pull myself back to my feet and continue on. I'll find that village, no matter what. It can't be far. I just wish I could use Google Maps.

Wait. There's a hill nearby! I pick up speed and immediately regret it. Ow. Slowing down, I limp up the hill, taking my time and being careful not to hurt myself more. At the top, I sit down again. I'm still pretty exhausted. I must've been here for at least a full day and I haven't slept.

The first way I look just shows me the river, a few trees, and another hill, but as I look around, I finally spot it. It's maybe a mile away. There's a few houses on top of a mound that could barely even qualify as a hill. It's not exactly a village, but it's something. There are people there. Maybe they'll be friendly.

I'll go there soon. I just need a nap first.