Continue Reading Below Advertisement

Very rarely, a big name star does something so disproportionately bad in comparison to their normal career that its echos can be heard for decades -- its shame tainting the laughter of our children's children's children. A perpetual shock wave of suck, defying the very core of physics, forever circling the globe and reminding us that, yes, this did indeed happen.

The first time that happened for Eddie Murphy was the well-known turdsplosion "Party All the Time." I'm not going to spend a lot of time deconstructing all the ways that this song and video were horrible because we've all seen it. Even children born after the '80s are shown this in school, as a warning. We've all felt the cold, clammy penis of death awkwardly slapping at our ear holes, and there's no need to rouse its anger again by reopening up the discussion. What's done is done. Lesson learned.

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

Wait, no it wasn't. No lesson was learned at all. Because there he is again in 1993, singing a song called "Whatzupwitu." And no, you're not hallucinating, that's Michael Jackson in the video. But ... how? Why? Wait, to hell with the "why" -- go back to "how" again, because ... how? The answer is found in a nine-minute-long video made the year before for Jackson's song "Remember the Time," which featured Eddie Murphy. That video was filmed and released in January of 1992, which is the exact time that Murphy recorded this volcanic lake of musical blasphemy. You don't need to be a historian to know it was a case of "Oh, hey, while you're here ..."