It's not every day a dog wanders into your house, vomits on your porch and proceeds to hold you "hostage" while repeatedly humping your favorite pillow.

In this colorful, expletive-laden video posted July 1, YouTube user Lord P France describes his hilarious "ordeal" with what he identifies as a horny pit bull -- not to be confused with Cuban-American rapper Pitbull -- that wanders around his porch, scandalizing the occupants who watch helplessly from inside.

"This is some old crazy, mufasa, arc-type crap," the narrator says, as the dog paces outside on the porch. "This dog just walked in our damn house."

Clearly outraged at the dog's gall, the narrator explains that "Andre had to push him out with his pillow, and he snatched the pillow from Andre, and now he's just humping it. We're trapped in the house."

Adding insult to injury, the narrator points out that his neighbors don't seem to be aware of the situation.

"Why don't you go home, dog? Go home," he yells through the door. "The dog-police coming up in here... It's like a dog porno."

According to the YouTube user, the dog refused to leave the porch for two hours. He promised to post more video of the incident when he gets some free time. (As some of the commenters point out, the dog may have been overheated and thirsty.)

Apparently, this is not the first time a homeowner has been held hostage by a stray dog. In June, blogger Collin Hinds recounted -- a bit less explicitly -- his wife's experience being held "hostage" by a pit bull that had wandered into her garage. That standoff ended after 30 minutes.