I have just returned from a road trip to Huntsville, AL, to go to my dad’s retirement party. Yes, after 40 years of being a Lutheran pastor, he is living the dream of doing whatever he wants. Congrats, dad!

Great trip. Great time.

I generally LOVE road trips.

I like the freedom of the open road, the nasty fast food that ensues and all the different scenarios along the way. Good stuff.

The ONE thing though that I have – and have yet to find a cure for – is road rage. Er, actually, it’s more of a road irritation. Rage is a rather strong word, don’t you think?

Now, listen, I don’t get it that bad. But I do have it. And really the only reason I get it is when someone rides my a$@. You know, is driving WAY to close behind me.

For the life of me, I’m not sure why this pisses me off so much. But it does.

Okay, I take that back. I think I do know. I think the main reason it does (pisses me off) is because of the whole common courtesy aspect of it. I don’t do that to people, but they do it to me. It’s like being a close-talker: you’re supposed to leave some space or you’re annoying.

Above: ‘Tailgating’ – totally different.

Usually what I do is tap on the breaks if a person does this. If they continue on, I gently slam on them so they have to slow waaaay down and possibly run right into me.

I know, I know. Stupid. Stupid on my part considering I hate a good ol’ auto accident more than tailgaters. BUT, I can’t help it. It’s as if I must teach the person a lesson.

What gets to me as well is when they do this and I’m in the right. For example, I can maybe understand riding on someones bumper if they’re cruising in the passing lane and, well, not passing. But other than that, there’s no reason.

A few examples of when I get irritated is when there’s a slow car in front of me. I can’t help but go the pace of the car that is in front. Yet, some jerk gets on my rear-end like I can do something about it. Like I can speed up. No, you moron, I can’t speed up. There’s a car in front of me. You twerp.

Or, if I’m cruising on the right-hand lane of the highway, minding my own business, and someone tailgates. This doesn’t happen often, but when it does, I turn red and think, “Why?!”.

So, here’s the deal…

I know that the rest of my life there will be people that ride my a$@.

As long as people drive, as long as there are roads and as long as there are inconsiderate idiots, this will take place.

I no longer want this to ruin my road trips and somehow I need to get over this aspect of life. It’s as sure as drizzle in Ohio. It’s gonna happen.

Listen, I’m not the best driver on earth either. I speed. Like, I speed a lot. But, my speeding typically when I have free range of the highway. And I don’t distract another driver with my speeding. The only person that I believe might get irritated are the friendly highway patrol people. But the thing is, I’m honestly considerate out there. I’ll let people in, obey the laws and am pretty well aware of my surroundings and how I’m acting behind the wheel.

Anyway….

Does anyone have advice on how to handle road rage?

I don’t think I have it bad enough to park the car and start throwing coffee cups at a car that upsets me, but still, I hate getting so angry over something so stupid.

So, that’s my goal for the next road trip: Laugh at tailgater, not cuss.

I think it will help my blood pressure, my uncouth outburst and overall improve my road trips that I o’ so love.

How do you handle those bad drivers? (Or, maybe you are one.).