For most women, personal care is a fleeting daily concern. But Kennedy Wilson-Dunn takes her routine to the next level: This inspiring woman has been continuously lotioning her hands for the past 17 years of her 32-year life!

“I just really want to keep moisturized,” said Kennedy. “And with the sun and the wind and the arid air, this is the most effective way I can think of to prevent that. Plus I find the motion very calming.”

“At night, I sleep with lotion and gloves on, and in the morning, I wake up and immediately start moisturizing my hands,” she said. “Then, I put my contacts in and brush my teeth—which admittedly gets tricky when both my hands are slippery. In fact, most of my day’s activities are a bit of a struggle.”

“But all the struggle is worth it to have the supple, soft hands of a wealthy infant,” Kennedy added.

Wow, Kennedy, this all seems a bit excessive!

“I mean sure, she has nice hands and all,” said Daniel Hoff. “But she can’t cook or drive or even masturbate with one hand at a time. Is it really worth it?”

“I love Kennedy, she’s my best friend,” said Willa DeTrille. “I can’t stand hugging her anymore, though. She always leaves hand marks on my shirt.”

“And I’m sick of rolling all the joints,” she added.

But Kennedy shows no signs of slowing her roll.

“I appreciate that my friends are worried,” she said. “But those same friends also have the dusty, ashy hands of a day laboring elephant. So you can see why their opinions don’t really matter to me.”

“I’m doing what’s right for me and my skin,” she added. “Regardless of how fat my dog becomes because I can’t walk him or how disgusting my apartment gets because I can’t clean it. This is about self-care.”