College-age students, for example, experience that drowns out their . They study to construct a happy future. They cannot imagine college might be the happiest time of their life. On the other hand, people in middle age remember their college years as some of the best of their lives. Yet they still answer the question as if happiness lies in the future, or worse, in the past.

All we have is the present. Eckhart Tolle wrote The Power of Now, explaining its importance; but many continue to ignore this sage advice. Perhaps this is because we need to hear these messages repeatedly. (I maintained this in a recent post, "The Need For Repetition in the Game Of Life"). Too often, people look to the future for their happiest days, while others frequently reminisce about the past being the best time of their life. When either state of mind prevails, the present is lost.

A future orientation: Students say they will find happiness when they have a , or a partner, or more financial independence. Those older look toward more financial freedom, relaxing and enjoying the fruits of their labor.

Many middle-age people believe that young people will someday realize how easy they had it. Did they know they would be looking back with fondness on their college years? Or did they also long for a happier future? I've heard college students discuss how much better their younger siblings lives are, despite their 's complaints. This further indicates the focus on the past or future interfering with enjoying the present.

Future orientation prioritizes the financial component. In a study by Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton, findings confirm the idea that money does not bring happiness. In their study, finances were positively correlated with positive life evaluation, however, money did not correlate with well-being or the "emotional quality of an individual's everyday experience."

Other studies also indicate wealth does not equal happiness. The United States is one of the ten richest countries in the world, according to the 2009 CIA World Factbook. Yet, in happiness, it is rated number 23, reports Science Daily. It is evident that future orientation centered on financial happiness is ill conceived.

In a recent post, PT blogger Leon F. Seltzer Ph.D. discussed similar points. In "The Pursuit of Happiness or the Quest for Wealth," he considers how wanting more leads to, simply put, more wanting. He suggests a more approach to life, including rich interpersonal relationships, as contributing to happiness.

Happiness is found in the present. Many people enjoy a hot shower. Often when they are in the shower, however, they are not mindful and are instead planning the day and making to-do lists (future orientation). How many times have you picked up your favorite lunch, then eaten it without enjoying it because you were multi-tasking? No one is completely mindful every moment. I wrote parts of this over my favorite lunch, only to realize I ate it without fully enjoying my meal. The goal is more frequent , and to enjoy little pleasures in life.

To enjoy the moment, accept it and what it brings. There are, and will always be, trials and difficult times. There is joy as well. Instead of focusing on the negatives and wishing it could be different, accept what is. Recognize happy moments that were perhaps ignored or undiscovered in your day. Don't let focus on the negative, the past, or the future drain happiness.

The YouTube video, "The Most Profound Question," explains why dogs ride in cars with their heads out of the window despite getting bugs in their eyes. They do this because the exhilaration is worth it. Embrace your life this way. Recognize what you enjoy. Create joy and savor it in the present. Accept negative events as par for the course. Acceptance is a key to happiness.

References:

Daniel Kahneman and Angus Deaton, "High income improves evaluation of life but not emotional well-being," PNAS 2010 : 1011492107v1-201011492

Science Daily, November 14, 2006

CIA World Factbook, 2009

Copyright William Berry 2011