Trump voters: Stand by for incoming

Fort Lauderdale, Florida seems an unlikely place to launch an attack on civilians, but that’s where Granny chose to roll out the Gatling gun. To wit: “…you know, I am sick and tired of the negative, dark, divisive, dangerous vision and behavior of people who support Donald Trump,” Mrs. Clinton fumed. Did you catch it – it’s those ghastly Trump people who are “negative, dark, divisive and dangerous.” Forget “deplorables and irredeemables” – that was just a little old .38 special she had hidden in her glove compartment for emergencies. This baby here is a Gatling gun, because it’s a rapid-fire, spring-loaded, hand-cranked weapon akin to a Rotary Cannon. Yes, indeed – a Gatling gun takes down everything in its path, and Mrs. Clinton is ready to take up her assault weapon and stick it to each and every Trump voter who crosses her path.

Funny thing is, hardly anyone noticed she brought out the heavy artillery. Media outlets ran her angry, red-faced comment, but no one seemed to notice that her aim was squarely on Trump voters rather than the man himself. Perhaps it’s because the MSM is in the midst of The Greatest Show on Earth. The elephants (before they were banned) are in the center ring raising their trunks in a low-frequency rumble. On the left are the lions roaring, looking to devour everything in their path. And over on the right is the ringmaster – whipping up the crowd into a frenzy, a true cacophony of discordant noise so loud that you don’t notice that the little old lady behind you has just whacked your kid on the head and told her to sit down and shut up. Sad to say, the media won’t point out that Trump people are again under fire again because they can’t hear themselves think in all the chaos of the three-ring circus that is the 24-hour news cycle. With all that noise, is it any wonder anyone can hear anything anymore? But make no mistake, folks: if you are a Trump voter, you need to strap on your tactical and military ballistic helmet. Personally, I would choose the Striker Ach Level IIIA, because “the reduced profile enables a wider peripheral and upward field of view, for better situational awareness and unrestricted movement.” It’s also advertised as having “protective goggles, night vision goggles (NVG), and a communication system.” A little wider field of view for situational awareness and night vision can’t hurt in these most trying of times. When you, the voter, are under attack, it’s always best to be prepared for incoming. After all, Trump voters are the unwashed masses, so uncouth, so crude, and certainly not OKD (Our Kind, Darling). The Gatling gun was first used by Union forces in combat during the Civil War. But it is best known for its use by Teddy Roosevelt in the assault on San Juan Hill. How apropos the moment, don’t you think? Though it’s doubtful anyone would have guessed a little old granny like Mrs. Clinton would bring it out of the mothballs, dust it off, and use it on American voters. Or maybe we could have guessed, could have imagined, because after all these years, it’s we who have become those people spoken so eloquently of in that tablet affixed to Lady Liberty: "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free…”