For those of you who like to fight the good fight for social justice and language sensitivity online, before writing that Tumblr missive or firing off that privilege-checking comment, I’d love to encourage you to take a moment to ask yourself these questions:

• Am I living my values with this exchange? If my goal is tolerance and sensitivity, am I embodying both those values in this conversation?

• What are my motivations here? Do I want to make a difference, or just feel like I’m right? What would “making a difference” look like in this context?

• Is this person an ally? How can I best communicate with them to ensure they stay that way?

• What is my ultimate goal in my activism? Is this exchange the best use of my time to achieve that ultimate goal?

In terms of my ultimate goal with this post: I want to support progressive activists in their very important work for social justice, but also beg them to carefully consider their methods and strategies with online communication. We’re fighting for the same team, here. I wish we didn’t have to spend so much time fighting with each other.