Dear White Women: Stop Stealing Male Nerd Culture

You are not a nerd, and you do not get to claim geekhood. There is a clear line between appreciation and appropriation

What I do know is that I don’t care how well you can quote Monty Python, who told you that your KDA was getting bigger than mine, how cute you think it is to call yourself a gamer girl, who taught you to micro, how funny you think it is to call yourself and Elf-chick or a Khaleesi or for which cute characters you’ve been shipping — you are not a nerd, and you do not get to claim geekhood. It is not yours. It is not for you.

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And then, when you thought this pillaging couldn’t get any worse, extracurricular nerd activities get snatched up, too: our interests, our passions, our slang, our clothing, our hairstyles. All of these things are rounded up, feminized and repackaged for your consumption. But here’s the shade — the non-nerd people who get to enjoy all of the fun things about geekhood will never have to experience the ugliness of the dork experience, bullying and the dangers of simply living while a nerd. Though I suppose there’s some thrill in this “rolling with the geeks” philosophy some adopt, teenage women are not culturally oppressed in the United States of America.

Nothing about geekiness will get a woman in trouble the way geekiness can get a young man shot down in his tracks. These are just facts. It’s not entirely the fault of women. It’s not as if you can help being born a woman in America, any more than I can help being born a man in America.

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Claiming our identity for what’s sweet without ever having to taste its sour is not. Breathing fire behind ugly stereotypes that reduce nerds to embarrassing caricatures for you to emulate isn’t, either.

So, you aren’t a level 80 Paladin, or a Lance Corporal, or any of that other foolery that some of you with trash Vine accounts try to be. It’s okay. You don’t have to be. No one asked you to be. You weren’t ever meant to be. What you can be, however, is part of the solution.

Check your privilege. Try to strengthen the people around you.

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So first thing I like to do with anything about cultural appropriation is put it into “Nerd culture” vs. women… because I’ve seen heaps of similar arguments between the two - and the general gist is “where were you when I was being beaten up in High School?”. In this article it prettys much says it directly - “Claiming our identity for what’s sweet without ever having to taste its sour is not.”

Really it’s sort of petty. It’s trying to control other people’s behaviors through guilt with a thin veneer of social justice behind it.



Also the article takes a pretty standard form of “first half guilt, second half soften the blow, and suggest they sign up to be an ally”. it’s not even really trying to hide that.

What I love most is:



”All of this being said, you should not have to stop liking the things you like. This is not an attempt to try to suck the fun out of your life. Appreciating a culture and appropriating one are very, very different things, with a much thicker line than some people think, if you use all of the three seconds it takes to be considerate before you open your mouth.”

And that line is…?

The article says, “Stop stealing our shit”, then this paragraph says “hey but like you can keep kinda doing the things you like” but really offers no perspective on what’s okay and what’s not.

But hey I’m a white Jew so wtf do I know.