If you talk about any of the many, many stupid things Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez says on a daily basis, that means you’re obsessed with her. I know this is true because I read it in the magazines that keep putting Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez on the cover. When lefties worship a 29-year-old woman who was a bartender until a year ago and has been in elected office for three months, and when they fly into a rage at any criticism of her holy person, that’s different. It’s not obsession. What they’re doing is good, because they’re good people. Duh.

Only bad people criticize her for stuff like her recent speech at Al Sharpton’s National Action Network convention, where she spoke like… this.

Ocasio-Cortez speaks in an accent that she never uses while telling a room of predominately black people that there is nothing wrong with them folding clothes, cooking, and driving other people around on a bus for a living. pic.twitter.com/FIbIAPokt0 — Ryan Saavedra (@RealSaavedra) April 5, 2019

Today I learned that there’s nothing wrong with preparing foooooooood. [insert handclap emojis here]

If you want to know why she was talking that way, just ask her. She’s glad to explain:

Next time you‘re told straight hair is “unprofessional” & that speaking like your parents do is “uneducated,” then you can complain about code-switching. Code switching is a tool communities learn when they’re told their voice, appearance, & mannerisms are “unprofessional.” https://t.co/tKPTneEncO — Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) April 7, 2019

Code-switching is referenced a lot in pop culture. It was a big element in a major film last year: “Sorry To Bother You.” If you’re confused about how code-switching is a cultural reality for people of color & communities, read about it. Some accounts: https://t.co/3YfBR074qs — Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (@AOC) April 7, 2019

See, it’s just like that movie where black people become more successful by talking like white people. They put on a persona that wasn’t their own. Fake it till you make it. And that’s… good? Apparently?

Of course, this “code-switching” excuse is not available to white people unless they’re named Eminem. I’m sure Hillary Clinton ain’t no ways tired of being reminded.

AOC may not have had the hardscrabble upbringing she seems to think is required of her, but she can still code-switch between reality and fantasy. Talking like a black person, or what she thinks a black person sounds like, is just who she is. Because it’s who she isn’t. Her truth is more important than the truth. “I think that there’s a lot of people more concerned about being precisely, factually, and semantically correct than about being morally right.” Wise words.

It’s bad to pretend to be somebody you’re not, except when it’s actually good. Educate yourself, racists!