I get a little braver today, and wear a jersey dress. For a hot second, I really enjoy the freedom that comes with not having to worry about wearing a bra that can be seen either through my clothes, or in the places where my clothes don't cover it.

But my significant lopsidedness is now fully on display. I walk into the office and feel like I'm letting the world in on one of my deepest, darkest secrets: that I actually have very saggy boobs. This isn't really my fault, exactly. I suspect that past a certain size, all boobs are saggy. It's just physics. Regardless, it's no minor thing.

I keep feeling compelled to blurt out to people that I am going braless — I find that I will do this more and more as the week goes on. It's a bizarre feeling, like the compulsion a lot of women feel to apologize for everything, except I'm apologizing for my subpar boobs.

Everyone responds more or less the same way: "I can't tell, but I'm not looking to check, either."

So if no one can tell and no one is looking, then why do I still feel like I need to explain myself? Why am I banishing myself to my desk for an hour so as not to subject anyone to my nipples?