DES MOINES, IA – This Valentines Day, the Patel family decided to pass the evening with a family movie night after dinner. As usual, they sat in their basement home theater and popped in the latest Bollywood Blockbuster that their family friend, Preeti aunty, described as, “very different and good. A must watch!”

Forty-five minutes into the film, the hero had already been disowned by his family for falling in love with a girl below his social status. The hero’s distress led him to a small bar in an Indian village where a woman wearing nothing but a short skirt and a bikini top starts to dance and gyrate on the old men visiting the bar.

“Wow. She has lost so much weight!”, remarked Shilpa Patel, as the dancing woman in the bar began to sing and strip.

After the item girl song was over, the hero of the movie ends up taking a walk with his love interest – who his family did not approve of. Once he gave his heartfelt 20-minute long speech about how much he loves her, he leans in for a kiss.

“AY REMOTE!”, yelled Shilpa Patel at that very moment. As she fumbled to find the fast forward button in the dark, her two kids aged 19 and 25, squirmed in their seat while trying to avoid eye contact with both their parents.

Written by Rani Shah

February 14th, 2017