It’s really not a scre-am.

Like last year’s “Grinch” for snowflakes, the new CGI-animated “Addams Family” takes dark, subversive and sardonic source material and softens it into a wimpy story of acceptance. They’re creepy and they’re kooky, mysterious and … deserving of our full respect and admiration. Oh, please.

That’s a shame, because the film starts off with a decent joke. Gomez (voiced by Oscar Isaac) and Morticia (Charlize Theron) are in the car, looking for a place to live. “Somewhere nobody in their right mind would be caught dead in,” they say. Hmm. “New Jersey!” They arrive at the gothic Addams manse, and we fast-forward 13 years later.

At home, some of that recognizably ghoulish Addams humor comes out. Wednesday (Chloë Grace Moretz) and Pugsley (Finn Wolfhard) are constantly trying to kill each other, and everything grotesque is gorgeous. One funny bit has Thing, the severed hand, looking at feet on a laptop. Still, it’s all too lame and lovey-dovey.

The villain is an HGTV-like talk show host named Margaux (Allison Janney), who builds a housing subdivision nearby called — wait for it — Assimilation. She wants the scary Addamses to skedaddle because they pose a risk to home sales; the freaks want to stay put. Get ready for a family-friendly message.

The voice work and the overly smooth animation mostly stink. Theron turns Morticia into a monotone East Coast socialite with no hard R’s, and Bette Midler as Grandmama and Janney don’t give us their whole personalities. In a failed joke, Snoop Dogg has been cast to provide the beeps and boops for Cousin Itt. You can’t tell. For all we know, it might actually be Donald Rumsfeld.

Look, I understand everybody has their preferred “Addams Family,” whether it’s the Charles Addams cartoons or the ’60s TV series or, for a precious few, the Broadway musical. For me, the best take was 1993’s “Addams Family Values.” Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd. Can’t beat it. But this new flick is nothing more than toddler fodder. It’s so sweet, the Addams clan would burn it in a bonfire.