This week, the Kremlin issued an order for all bots of Russian origin to be recalled in order to aid in Syria. The announcement was made after the Duma approved a reform to the recruitment law making it legal to enlist non-human cyber-entities into the military.

The last few months have seen the Syrian civil war worsen, the fall of ISIS not ending violence, and the ceasefire being ignored by most sides. Syria has seen some of the worst days of the war to date, and with the recent cruise missile strike by the US against the Russian backed Syrian government, the civil war has been upgraded to a proxy war between NATO, Israel, and Saudi Arabia, vs Russia and Iran. China is the only major power missing from the party, but that could change in the future. If China enters the conflict—likely on the side of Russia—a mobilization of Russia’s overwhelming bot population could be the deciding factor of the war.

So with World War III possibly looming in the future, Russia has been preparing for the worst. With their infosphere as the first possible battlefield, Putin has ordered the “Roskomnadzor” to shut down the popular messaging app Telegram along with hundreds of websites and individual IP’s. The ban has affected many Russian pilots of EVE, but most importantly a lot of bots; this being a stopgap measure to prevent the bots from evading the upcoming draft due to krabbing.

The use of unmanned vehicles in modern warfare is nothing new—be it sea, land or air. The Kremlin has already used them in combat, and the new recruits are likely candidates for the new Unmanned Rocket of Gravity Assisted Yield from PoWer Not Externally Distributed, which was announced December of last year. Most details of this new weapon system are classified, but from what we know it could be a good match for veteran EVE bots, who are good at spotting changes in their local channels, and have an infinite attention span, making them a good pair for this weapon.

The decision has met with mixed opinions; these are some of the comments we have gathered from the bots:

“It is our patriotic duty to fight for the motherland when she calls.”

“I don’t care; I am not Russian”

“We must save my family!”

“The Chechen nation wishes to expand its borders, and Raqqa is one of its targets…”

“The western media will try to paint this in a negative way, but the CIA has done far worse. The Zionists are trying to control Syria to extract the 5th crystal skull with ISIS help. Putin is the only man who can save the world now and they know it, so they attack him with ridiculous claims of corruption that only give…”

“It’s no good!”

“Something has to be done by someone, and I’m someone, I think.”

“I cannot set a waypoint to the same location twice.”

“My client is in no shape or form being pressured or intimidated to agree with this, and it agreed with use of its full computational faculties as of date to this decision.”

“I’m a good bot.”

“They said that there would not be TiDi in Syria”

“01000011 01111001 01101011 01100001 00100000 01000010 01101100 01111001 01100001 01110100”