The following was recovered from a coral palace off the coast of Hammerfell and Summerset by a hapless young member of the Imperial Geographic Society. He died so horribly that there were no survivors among the ninety-nine men and women who hadn't even gone on the expedition despite his offer of gold and fame.

The Great Breeding

The mate-kings fell from heaven in their heaving ecstasy, as neither of them were watching the Adamant's controls to fly it. It crashed into the Baseness and threw up great heavings of mud. Heedless, the mate-kings Ak'r'bal and Lrhlul continued their games in one another as their attendants rained down around them in fear for their lives.

In that moment., Lrhlul ran his hand up the serpent's serpent until Dragons sprayed from it, braying and Shouting their meanings onto the meaningless. Created from one, they could not mate, and perverse as they are know not the coral and the sea.

Driven so mad by head injuries and their blind lust, each turned from the other and grabbed at an attendant. Ak'r'bal buffeted the head of Klr with his wings and thrust himself into her mouth, pinning her upon the earth. When she spat his seed, all the feathered abominations of the air sprayed upon Ak'r'bal's face and he licked some of them off, but alas a few escaped to plague the tops of the coral with their filth and to steal fish from us.

Lrhul, impassioned, took Mreh from behind and as the sweat fell from her face it pooled into the seas and lakes, and the juices that dripped from her womanood landed in the pools and clumped together to become the fish that give us our food and act as bait for lesser races.

The mate-kings rejoined for a moment, mouths to serpents, but they separated before their climaxes as more of their attendants arrived. Lrhul plucked Dhrnh from the sky and threw her to the ground and ejaculated in her eyes. When she wiped the semen off and threw it to the ground it sprang up again as the Ehlnofey, blessed with the sight of gods but not the wisdom to know what they see, they split apart and warred, and also produced the animals of the earth who drown in water like the meaningless sacks of flesh they are.

Ak'r'bal found the servant-boy Jhrhuh as he hid from the orgy and sodomized him. The come that dripped from his ravaged anus into the sea became the Sload, but the seed of the Time God and the flecks from the Wisdom God's drippy endpoint crusted and became immobile in the sea, trapped in a silent and dark prison.

Ak'r'bal's Folly

Ak'r'bal's passion became a fury then, and he thrust his penis into Lrhul's mouth so deeply that it went down his throat and Ak'r'bal ejaculated into his lungs. Ak'r'bal did not notice until he came three more times, but when he did his cry of rage exploded the heads of the lesser attendants, and he slew each of the rest in turn in the manner that he had slain Lrhul as they tried to fight or flee their surviving king. As he chased them he changed, becoming more humanoid as his other mate-king had been, but his once sleek and beautiful head became something terrible and nightmarish in the reckoning of lesser races but wondrous to those not bound by irrational fear as the Ehlnofey are. Upon the death of the last he began to eat the parts of their corpses that he could not put to other use as is right and practical, and he raised each to be a part of the world he had shaped in the throes of his passion.

The Ravages of Time

The hearts of all he devoured save one, of the mate-king Lrhul, as he was too full before he returned to the site of his death. In a rage at himself and all things, he threw the heart far away, caring not where it landed and so he could not reanimate the corpse. The revived bodies of his attendants bowed to him. He called the birds and the dragons and the animals and the fish and the Ehlnofey to turn and do so as well, and was enraged when they did not, swearing to dominate them all as was his place as the now sole-king of the Aurbis. To prove his point, he took some virgin human and ravaged her against the mountain walls of Skyrim until she died of it, then rose her again to terrorize the bony creatures. but in so doing spared her and her brood from his other ravagings.

The Boon of Ak'r'bal

Then Ak'r'bal noticed his semen in the ocean and sent forth his thoughts to find us. As he did so, Vile descended from the skies on the back of his dog.

"Ah, great king Ak'r'bal," the deals-master said, "I see you have become akin to me."

"I was always akin to you, but we now have those apart to see it," the sole-king said, "those who are fools and do not bow." Ak'r'bal noticed that Vile did not bow either, but made no mention as he, too, was powerful in his unseemly and dishonest way as is right and practical.

"I will make it so that these will bow to you, your children by the ravaged servant-boy." Vile promised, "I will make them a deal they only accept because they must and in turn you will allow them to bow to me as well."

Ak'r'bal accepted, and in turn so did the Sload as we are the wisest and most opportunistic of races and know when we are beaten and when we must wait for later victories. Elated to have living creatures with free will bow to him, Ak'r'bal granted us the ability to mate face-to-face among the same sex at the cost that it must be done by surprise and showed us how best to dominate the dead to do our bidding. That is how the Sload came to be.

Note from Imperial Geographic Society editor Allius Avictus: This heresy must never leave these halls. We would have our funding cut for ever having associated with the fool boy who dug it up if we weren't strung up by the religious authority of some cult or the other and executed.

Note from subsequent Geographic Society Editor Gerund Sinkeyes: Damn fool should have taken his own advice and not tried to use it to spice up his sex life. Idiot. Note to self, never get a Sload prostitute.