Hey! The story you're about to read was published prior to our April 2020 investigation on the G-spot. The truth is: It doesn't exist. Learn more here.

I felt so bad for the women in the previous article, having anal sex when it obviously wasn't something they liked. We're in charge of our sexuality, and we ought to own it. I love anal (and hate receiving oral), so I'm really weird, but so what? I have someone who appreciates me for me.

I first tried it 15 years ago, with my husband. I'd had fantasies about it before and was more into doing it — I expected to like it as much as I ultimately do. We had tried buttplay before, using fingers, and I always loved it. I don't talk about it with my friends much, because there's a stigma against women who enjoy it. Either they're sluts or they're lying for male validation. Neither one is true for me.

Anyway, the first time, he was afraid he'd hurt me. I told him we'd try and if it hurt, I'd tell him to stop. The first time, and all subsequent times, it's felt incredible to me. Amazing, intense and pleasurable. It gives me mind-blowing orgasms — I've thought many times that my G-spot is in my ass. I can definitely orgasm with only anal penetration, but sometimes I get the double orgasm when we add in clit stimulation. First one then the other. Damn, that's something. I guess I come easily. My steps include first having vaginal sex (without orgasm), some teasing or finger/toy play, and then anal. I must be very, very turned on to have an orgasm from anal. It does hurt a little at first, but the good kind of pain that sometimes enhances sex.

We only do it a few times a year, because I have two kids under 18, one of whom has special needs, and it's hard to get them out of the house. Especially when you're a parent, anal requires good luck, good health (no tummy troubles), and good timing.

If you don't like a finger in your ass, you won't like anal sex. If a small plug doesn't feel good, just don't even try. Seriously. And that's OK! If it doesn't feel good, don't do it. Maybe try a second time if you really want to, but if it isn't for you, it isn't for you. That should be the first rule of all sex: Do what feels good. If it doesn't feel good, don't do that! Not for anyone for any reason.

I've only ever done it with my husband, and we'd been married a few years before we tried. I would say that I would not want to try it with someone I didn't completely trust. If you tell them to stop, and they don't, you can tear something. It's also very important to remember that he should only go in as deep as it still feels good. If he has a small penis, deep penetration might be fine, but if he has one on the bigger side, he might only get halfway in before it starts to hurt, and that's fine. Once it's in, gentle strokes all the way in and out feel great, then pretty much any position works.

Use so much lube. As much as you think you need and then more. I only like water-based brands. Vaseline is a petroleum product, and I do not want that in my ass. I also spread a towel, because lube stains. And use condoms. [My husband and I] have been married a lot of years, and there is no chance for disease. And still, condoms. Because really, does he want to get a little piece of shit in his urethra? Hello, infection.

Oh, here's the biggest, most useful advice: Go slow. It's best if the woman can directly do the pushing. So woman on top, lowering down works nicely. At least until you get things going. Another thing that works nicely is lying on the side of the bed, ass propped up on a pillow. Then she can lift her legs over his shoulders. Make it really sexy by having him go excruciatingly slow. Like centimeter by centimeter. And it really helps if she pushes out against it.

The more into it you are before you try it, the more likely you are to orgasm during — just like vaginal sex. So make sure you're really turned on beforehand and that you're not just doing it for your boyfriend. That's the number-one reason this conception of women hating anal sex exists: They're doing it for the wrong reasons.

Follow Anna on Twitter.

Via Getty

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