Today at 10.25am our fight to save Farm Terrace allotments ended in defeat. It is a surreal experience to battle to save an allotment site for four years and then find out you have lost and there are no more avenues available.

I was down on Farm Terrace when I got the call. It has been my place of solace for the last eight years. I remember how excited my husband and I were to pick up the keys. I thought he was mad wanting an allotment when we had newborn baby. Within 18 months we were there with our second baby in a sling.

Our plot had a little gate with roses growing over it and a shed which had the previous tenant’s flat cap and overcoat inside. It was such an escape from the confines of the tiny yard of our terraced house. The children could run and play with the soil in their hands. We didn’t have much time to keep on top of it, but it became our routine, our congregating place and our refuge.

At the time, the site was about 90% occupied and although we didn’t know anybody else we started to recognise people and chat to our neighbours. Two years later we got the letter from Watford Borough Council saying that the allotment land might be needed for an expansion of the adjacent hospital.

We were devastated, but how could we argue? However it soon became clear that there was no hospital expansion and that the land was actually going to be used for flats. This got me angry - really, really angry. Not only for myself, although I admit the allotment was partly for my space to breathe. But now they were taking this place away from my family, from my kids. They were literally going to take my children’s playground away.

My six-year-old daughter asked me what we could do to stop it and I said “nothing”. As soon as I said it, I realised the effects these words would have on my daughter. That she could feel defenceless to this kind of bullying.

So after reading Cleve West’s book Our Plot I realised that to me, the council were stealing my community and the future community of Watford. Their shortsightedness for short term profit did not allow any compromise or inclusion of the allotments in their plans.

I was furious. Together with my fellow plot holders, we started the Farm Terrace Association and we slowly started taking on the council and in the end the government. We won twice but it felt as if the dice was loaded from the start: each time we celebrated a victory the goal posts were swiftly changed. We had not one but two days in court, and we brought the spirit of allotments to the high court each time.

Watford allotment campaigners lose high court battle to save site Read more

Today, I stood on the very land we have fought so long for and received the news that we had lost and an appeal was probably not going to work. I felt numb at first, and then shock and despair. This fight has never been for just us. This fight has always been about protecting other allotments and community spaces. Sadly with this decision, the courts have failed to define the exceptional circumstances required for councils to develop community spaces across the UK.

Growing together – an allotment picture essay Read more

I feel we have done our best, even though we lost this battle. We have been fighting for the survival of our allotment site and fighting for the protection of allotments up and down the country. By increasing awareness across the UK, we can hope the war will be won to protect community spaces. I am so proud of my supporters and fellow plot holders. But I also feel angry towards Watford council, who have used red herrings, such as suggesting we were standing in the way of a hospital expansion, to try to manipulate the public’s empathy. And I am angry at the government for allowing this to happen, for seemingly orchestrating it. And I am angry that I am bringing up my children in a society were immorality and greed wins above everything else.