Prematurity is underrated. Waiting to judge is so last century.

I prefer to jump on and off bandwagons, skid under buses, and run around with my beard on fire while I dig my fingertips into the window sill and neigh like a wild horse.

So, here is my first annual ‘Super Rugby XXIII After Only Two Rounds in Which Not Every Team Even Played’.

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At fullback, Ben Smith is on year six of the most supernaturally lucky and great form run in the history of rugby union. He’s my fifteen, bring slippery and dodgy moves in his deceptively sturdy frame. He narrowly beats out Damian McKenzie, but maybe the Chiefs outside back will be on my bench. I do like his try-scoring celebrations: acceptably rugby, but modern.

My wings are Nemani Nadolo, because he stiff-arms like a crusading knight in stiff hot armour, and Ruan Combrinck of the dynamic Lions, who is a pretty complete player, really. A few other wings who might sneak on to the bench are Henry Speight, Matias Orlando, Joe Tomane, and Raymond Rhule.

My starting midfielders are fun to pronounce: Malakai Fekitoa and Charlie Ngatai. Unlucky were Matt Toomua for the mighty Brumbies and Lionel Mapoe for the never-say-die Lions. But Fekitoa is running riot for the Highlanders, who will not be complacent as hosts for said Lions, this next week.

My premature pick for flyhalf would have been Robert du Preez, who was the Second Coming of Handre Pollard in week one, but then he went down (and may miss the crucial coastal derby) and so I will overreact to the overrated Elton Jantjies’ anomalous win in Hamilton by naming my starter. His inside pass is the most easily-read trick in world rugby, but he is my field general, just pipping Christian Lealiifano from Canberra.

He will catch passes from his actual halfback, Faf de Klerk, who doesn’t faf about. I don’t know which Argentine scrumhalf to pick as backup, but I’ll probably go with Tomas Cubelli, who might be the Brumbies’ most valuable player, right now.

My starting front row after these two massive rounds is Scott Sio, Malcolm Marx, and Owen Franks. That’s actually a lovely and well-matched trio. Sio and Marx are busy all over the park, and Franks is a bulwark for the struggling Crusaders. Stephen Moore would be my reserve rake, with Beast Mtawarira at loosehead and Frans Malherbe (who is playing from the bench, but in actuality, one of the best props going right now in any country) his mates.



The lock pairing of lineout thief and general bully Eben Etzebeth with Pieter-Steph du Toit is the reason the Stormers are one of the few two-win teams, so I will overreact and give them the starting engine room berths. Blues second rower Patrick Tuipulotu is having an amazing first one-ninth of a season; he’s my cover instead of Sam Carter and Lood de Jager (both playing well).

The loose trio has to include maniacal Marcell Coetzee, super-athlete Ardie Savea, and the best captain so far, Warren Whiteley (Lions). Kieran Read looks completely healed from concussions and is in ominous early season form, but Jaco Kriel has carried over his good form from 2015, too.

Harry’s squad

Sio, Marx, O. Franks, Etzebeth, du Toit, Coetzee, A. Savea, Whiteley (c), de Klerk, Jantjies, Nadolo, Ngatai, Fekitoa, Combrinck, B. Smith. Bench: McKenzie, Lealiifano, Cubelli, Read (vc), Tuipulotu, Malherbe, Moore, Mtawarira.

What is your premature reaction?