It's still July, barely, which means stories like Michigan banning seat pads from the Big House — while season ticket holders, as if they haven't dropped enough dough, are provided the option to lease an official Wolverine Seat for $35 per season — still move the needle around these parts. Like many of you, I've owned an officially licensed U-M seat cushion, but not the AD-approved permanent rental, and used it at games for years. Those are now worthless, right?

Not so fast, says the M-Den. They're dual-purpose, you see...

A kneeling pad with a handle? This is innovation, not a blatant money-grab. American ingenuity at its finest. In that vein, we crowdsourced some ideas for alternative uses for these totally useful hunks of branded foam.

NON-AERODYNAMIC FRISBEE

Looking for something to toss around the Diag? Look no more! The handle provides an easy grip for throwing, and the soft foam interior ensures that nobody's hurt when your toss inevitably lands nowhere near your intended target.

EMERGENCY FLOATATION DEVICE

Why are these women so happy to be jumping out of a doomed plane? With their officially-licensed floatation devices, they know that as long as they survive the impact with that large, rapidly-approaching body of water, they'll be floating in style while waiting for the Coast Guard.

[HT: BiSB and @MikeSmuz]

OVERSIZED EARMUFFS

Dave Brandon himself was kind enough to model the latest in Michigan-branded winter fashion. Perfect for staying warm during November football games or going incognito when the fanbase finally turns against you in full, penniless force.

VERY STYLISH HAT

@AceAnbender #KneelingPad You could make a really ugly hat that you absolutely would not want to sit on at halftime. pic.twitter.com/eTGSybWxZH — Mike Randazzo (@TremendousSW) July 31, 2013

Lookin' good. But if you sit on it, they will shoot you.

MY VERY OWN MGOPANIC ROOM

Provides extra padding for the next time you're waiting out a commit watch/unwanted Buckeye visitor.

[HT: @Looukey]