MONTREAL – A male stripper posing as a member of the navy was heckled by a bachelorette party for improperly wearing his uniform before it was suggestively removed to the tune of the Village People’s “In the Navy.”

“I don’t think his uniform follows the proper dress instructions,” said bride-to-be Clarissa Smyth who had problems right from the start of his entertaining performance. “Is he wearing a mess dress or service dress? And the navy doesn’t even wear that kind of headdress.”

Every article of clothing – from his dated sailor cap to his scuffed boots – was harshly critiqued by the audience who wasn’t buying his poor impersonation of a real member of the Royal Canadian Navy.

“I don’t know how Commander Cock ascended to such a senior rank looking so inappropriate,” scorned maid-of-honour Brookes Anderson. “…And that thong is not standard issue.

“What a turn-off.”

The women said they will be lodging a complaint with the CO of the sailor’s ship, which is reported to be HMCS Golden Banana.

Following the sub-par demonstration of dress and deportment of Canada’s maritime forces, a supposed firefighter appeared who would have clearly burned to death lacking the proper personal protective equipment.