













(Don't count them you fucking idiot...)



Stick your finger in their blow hole.





Tie a rock to their flipper.





Stuff them in a blender.





Drop a toaster in their bath tub.





Sink an oil tanker.





Make them look at this site.





Stuff them with candy and give them to children.





Hand Eric a large stick and point him tward the ocean.





Show them pictures of Rosean Bar naked.





Feed them a case of Alkaseltzer.





Stab them.





Choke them with a tuna net.





Give them anthrax.





Stab them in the eye with a pen.





Jam a carrot in their blow hole.





Shoot them with a torpedo.





Strap a camera to them and tell them to look for mines.





Let your mom have sex with them.





Rip their intestines out through their butt hole.





Give Alec a knife and a map to the Shed Aquarium.





Shoot them with harpoons.





Puncture them with a spork till they bleed to death.





Beat them over the head with a soup ladel.





Pull off their dorsal fin and make soup, then laugh as they try to swim away and DIE!





Visiously accost them with an egg beater, in ways best left to the imagination.





Make them listen to new Metallica music.





Kick them...really fucken hard...in the ribs...or something.





Feed them a garbage bag.





Tell them they are making ANOTHER Matrix movie.





Make them realize how much they suck.





Suck their bains out through their blow holes with a straw and gain super powers.





Use your super powers to pile drive them onto a rock.





Tell them Carrot Top is making a come back.





Toss them into a volcano.





Ram a spear through their abdomin and laugh as they squeak like a pussy.





Get them addicted to crack.





Tell Dr. Kavorkian they have cancer.





Super Glue their ass shut, and laugh when they explode.





Tell a ninja that they are really pirates in diguise. (Props to Burger.)





Throw a moltove cocktail at them.





Ask them if they can hold this lit stick of dinomite for you, while you buy some gum.





Feed them halucinagenic mushrooms then convince them that their flipers are wings.





Put a towel on their head and tell George Bush that they have Anthrax.





Chop them in half with a broadsword.





Feed them poisoned fish.





Replace their heart with baked potatoe.





Tie them to the back of my car by their balls...ouch





Make them date my ex girlfriend.





Put them in a refridgerator...and CLOSE IT!





Feed them to The Creep.





Poor motor oil in their blow hole.





Sell them to a Japanese resturaunt.





Make them watch J-Lo movies till their head explodes.





Beat them to death with their own tail.





Rip them in half with my bear hands.





Gouge out their eyes with a melon baller.





Put a scratch and sniff sticker at the bottom of the ocean.





Fire them out of a canon into a vat of horse bile.





Send them to Petco. Where the pets go...TO DIE!





Offer Ross a bucket of chicken to kill one.





Blow their brains out with a shot gun.





Feed them anything Alec cooks.





Jam their flipper in a wall socket.





Have Rosie Odonald sit on them.





Have them hold a metal rod in a lightning storm.





Push them off the Sears Tower into a glass of water.





Strap C4 to their chest and sing happy birthday.





Make them wear a Marlins jersey at Wrigley Field.





Impale them on Ferra Faucettes nipples.





Throw them out of a helicopter as they squeal and flip around.





Toss them under a speeding bus.





Dump toxic waste into coral reafs.





strangle them with piano wire while they sleep.





Force them to eat McD's for a week strait.





Stuff their tail in their mouth and roll them off a cliff.





Cut their tongues off and make them lick themselves to death.





Leave them in the sun and make dolphin jerky.





Drill a hole in their scull and fill it with peanut butter.





Throw them off a bridge onto a bed of spikes.





Dip them in chrome, and mount them on the wall.





Put a white hood on them and send them into the middle of Harlem.





Skin them and use their flesh to make a pup tent.





Douse them in gasoline and ignite them in a firey blaze.





Stuff their blow hole full of peanut butter.





Chop them up into cubes and serve them at a diner party.





Stuff them into a large wood chipper.





Drop an anvil on their head.





Stuff them into a microwave...don't ask how...





Slit their throat and piss down their neck.





Shrink wrap them to a tree and use them for archery practice.





Dress a cannister of nerve gas to look like a female dolphin.





Force feed them 90lbs of peanut butter.





Roll them around in peanut butter.





Slam a cocktail weener in their blow hole.





Make them watch an entire season of friends.





Tell Omish people they invented light bulbs.





Throw all your can rings in the ocean.





Drop them in a vat of meat tenderizer.





Tell Carl Malone that Dolphin meat is the cure for stupid.





Tell Rosie Odonald that they are the cure for fat, gross, and gay.





Saw off their head with a hack saw.





Bash their head in with a rock.





Make a website encouraging people to kill them.





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