MONTPELIER – In an effort to promote road safety, the state of Vermont has voted to get rid of all intersections, and instead will link all of its existing roads, streets, and highways, merging them into one single super-road. The new road, which will be called Vermont Road, is expected to be around 14,000 miles long and will loop back and forth through towns and cities to ensure that no bit of dirt and pavement is missed. The new system will be a significant change for Vermont motorists.

“The majority of the state’s traffic collisions happen at intersections,” said VTrans representative Juan Way. “We’re doing our best to ensure the safety of every driver and passenger by removing the biggest cause of death or injury. You may have to drive a little further to get where you’re going, but is saving a few days’ time really worth your life?”

While intersections will be a thing of the past, there will be a few on and off ramps scattered around the state’s borders for travel to other states and countries. VTrans has also responded to resident concerns and has agreed to make the road a two-way road.

“It was going to be uni-directional at first,” confirmed Way, “for safety reasons as well. Anybody who missed their stop could just loop back around the 14,000 miles and catch it on their second go-round, but we got a lot of strong pushback on that one. We’re reserving the right to make it a one-way street in the future, but for now we’re going to try it out as a two-way and see how many accidents we get that involve oncoming traffic.

Some people are already confused about the new numbering system, and Way admits it will take some getting used to. “Personally, I went from living at 16 Loon Hill Drive, to 11,323,478 Vermont Road. Yeah, sometimes I forget and start to write the old address down, but like any change you just have to give it time to settle in.”

Construction is slated to begin today, as workers prepare to remove intersections around the state, although there may be one hitch in the plan. A judge this week will decide if construction must be put on hold during a joint lawsuit filed against the state by Garmin, TomTom, and Magellan.