The way she is looking at me, I can tell I’m not making the grade. Having grown up in Northern Ireland, I’m sure jigging must be in my genes but I’ve never given it a go. Perhaps, I might be transformed with a sparkly outfit and a whirl of the Caroline wig? Jackie Kennedy, owner of Belfast-based Elevation Designs, offers me a dress and I’m draped with half my body weight in net, velvet and Swarovski crystals. It’s designed for a teenager and I can’t quite do it up at the back. Melaine kits me out with a ruby-studded tiara and welds the towering wig to my head, using an arsenal of kirby grips and foam padding. I look ridiculous. How much would a get-up like this cost? “You’re looking at anything from £1,000 to £2,500 for the dress, £70 to £140 for the tiara and up to £150 for the wig,” says Melaine.