What would your dream home look like? Would it be a rustic farm hidden deep in the woods or maybe a penthouse in Manhattan? Would the interior design be more traditional or perhaps a reflection of all the latest trends? While it is fun to think about the perfect house or flat, the reality of real estate listings is far harsher, and the choices are often really scarce. Thanks to a blog called Terrible Real Estate Agent Photos, we want to share with you how, ahem, creative some of the listings can get.

From horror movie-esque semi abandoned flats for rent to excessively unique home decor cases and very impractical architecture decisions, the real estate agents behind these funny ads didn’t even care to fix the places up before snapping the hilarious pictures. The caring levels were so low that there’s also a photo with a live bat in it, a huge pig laying around in the living room and feral horses relaxing in front yards. The most baffling part is that these funny photos were really used to advertise and show the good side of housings to possible tenants.

If you’d like to see how not to give a crap about putting your property up for sale, the list of funny fails below will provide you with an answer and a bonus laugh or two. So scroll down, vote for the worst listing and don’t forget to comment!

#1

If the weather clears up later I might mow the pool.

#2

Wake up Eric, the agent’s here. And for heaven’s sake put some clothes on.

#3

You’ll never guess what I just passed on the stairs.

#4

This Christmas, turn your house into an actual advent calendar.

#5

A rare chance to own the opening scene from 12 different horror movies.

#6

Let’s be optimistic. Perhaps it says “Surprise my coconut”.

#7

“I think I’m beginning to see a pattern” said Holmes.

#8

On cold winter nights there’s nothing quite like curling up in front of a roaring toilet.

#9

Attention to detail is very important. For example, here the agent has dragged the body outside before taking the photograph.

#10

If separated from the mother too early, young fire extinguishers can struggle to adapt.

#11

Best make an early start if you want to reach the sofa before sundown.

#12

A rare opportunity to acquire a sacrificial dungeon simply bursting with original features.

#13

Buyers are advised to leave the fridge right where it is.

#14

Script idea: Marie Antoinette travels to the 1990s and moves in with a monkey pirate.

#15

Blog idea: reasons my fan is sad.

#16

That feeling when you enter a bathroom and literally don’t know where to start.

#17

After days of waiting this agent’s patience is finally rewarded. Weak with thirst, a pair of wild mattresses appear at the watering hole.

#18

Some people like to read while on the toilet. Others prefer to be inundated by multiple confusing and contradictory reflections of themselves, repeating into infinity.

#19

Just as it had the great mayan cities of tikal and calakmul, nature slowly reclaimed the Wilsons’ dining room.

#20

“Which biblical scene should we paint on our living room wall?” “Satan v Jesus, the arm wrestling competition. Has to be.”

#21

Advice to real estate agents: Never reveal yourself to be the Prince of Darkness during a viewing.

#22

Not yet Bernard. Feeding time isn’t until 6:30.

#23

“Have you come to save us, or to join us?“

#24

Tfw you’re halfway through a wash cycle and you decide it would be easier just to sell your house.

#25

It’s a tribute to my late wife, who used to dream of being a clumsily-drawn, questionably-shaped mermaid.

#26

This year, why not take some time to consider the unquestionable futility of existence?

#27

Some Like It Horrible.

#28

In some cultures, a desire for privacy is seen as a sign of weakness.

#29

After the Great Plague of 1665, came the less famous Bubonic Bedroom Blight of 1704.

#30

Despite his efforts, Ivan never really got the hang of Feng Shui.