Twoflower and Rincewind were arguing. The person they were arguing about sat on his mushroom and watched them with interest. He looked like someone who smelled like someone who lived in a mushroom, and that bothered Twoflower.

‘Well, why hasn’t he got a red hat?’

Rincewind hesitated, desperately trying to imagine what Twoflower was getting at.

‘What?’ he said, giving in.

‘He should have a red hat,’ said Twoflower. ‘And he certainly ought to be cleaner and more, more sort of jolly. He doesn’t look like any sort of gnome to me.’

‘What are you going on about?’

‘Look at that beard,’ said Twoflower sternly. ‘I’ve seen better beards on a piece of cheese.’

‘Look, he’s six inches high and lives in a mushroom,’ snarled Rincewind. ‘Of course he’s a bloody gnome.’

Terry Pratchett.

The Light Fantastic.





