House Republicans desperately want to rid the world of the Affordable Care Act. On that, their sincerity cannot be doubted. But as both their budget and their health-care record show, they are woefully unprepared for a world in which they actually succeeded.

—The Washington Post

What Is Republicare?

Republicare is the non-socialistic, non-handout, non-affordable insurance program that insures health-care providers against catastrophic profit-margin problems.

Republicare includes all insurance providers, lobbyists, pharmaceutical manufacturers, medical-equipment providers, banks, savings & loans, and collection agencies licensed by Republicare, Inc. to take money from people who claim to be “sick.”*

This includes “seniors”—defined by Republicare as any living person too enfeebled by age to know that he or she should have put away enough money to pay for keeping him or herself alive, yet is too stubborn to expire.

The Republicare Application Process

If you believe you deserve to have others pay your medical expenses, use the space provided below to explain why: