The Internet never tires of connecting two unrelated worlds through the power of creepy, awful love, just like we never tire of snarking about these horrifying concoctions . So, once again, here are some stories that should win a Nobel Prize for discovering the long-term benefits of the universe's eventual heat death.

Erotic Internet fan fiction is a sexual hobo stew; ingredients that normally have no business being within a hundred miles of each other are mixed together anyway, with a resulting product that makes no sense to anybody but its delusional creator.

5 Slimer Rapes Sam from Transformers, While Wolverine and Jean Grey Have Scat Sex With a Ghostbuster

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The Scenario:

The setup for this Transformers/X-Men/Ghostbusters sex story isn't all that much worse than any of the actual Transformers movies: Sam Witwicky, Shia LaBeouf's character, is suffering from the earliest midlife crisis in history. After the Transformers bring peace to Earth, Sam finds himself unemployed, out of money, and too last-year's-hero to find a hot girlfriend. So he skips town and joins the Ghostbusters, because it's not like they haven't done anything in 30 years.

His first mission takes him to the Sedgwick Hotel, where he encounters Slimer, the annoyingly wacky green ghost who was the designated comic relief in a movie starring Bill Murray and Dan Aykroyd.



Look how serious these guys are. You need to break that tension or the movie gets unbearable.

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Where It Gets Really Creepy:

A mere six lines into A New Shade of Green, we get this:

When he found Slimer, (and boy did he ever) he had his ghostly cock out. He was pissing on the room service!

What follows is Slimer unveiling a 3-foot cock, which grows to over 4 feet when hard. He proceeds to rape Sam and then hit him when he dares to cry out Bumblebee's name. Sam naturally decides he loves all of this, because in the world of fan fiction, it is very common for one's sexual horizons to be broadened via some kind of horrific assault. To the author's credit, he at least realizes that Slimer is an asshole lover: