Look, honestly? Who cares. Watching Street Fighter V Smug reminds me of watching Paul Pierce play for the Clippers. Remember how hype Smug's Dudley was in SFIV? Remember the endless combo variations and the stupid, broken overhead-into-stun-combo bullshit that he got on his opponent's wakeup? Let's take a moment and bask in the glory:









YEAH, SMUG! HIT HIM WITH THE OVERHEAD AGAIN! YEAHHHHHHHH!





But just look at what his hypest option is now:







What a scintillating combo: dash straight into dash straight into dash upper into zzzzzzzzz. We might as well just watch a two-second GIF on a loop eight hundred times and then flip a coin to find out whether or not he wins.





The difference between SFIV Dudley and SFV Balrog is the difference between Jackie Chan in Legend of the Drunken Master and Finn Jones in Iron Fist. It's the difference between A New Hope and Phantom Menace. It's the difference between Lance Armstrong when he was full of go-fast drugs and Lance Armstrong after they took all of his go-fast drugs away. SFV Balrog is the thing that happens when they replace your favorite voice actor in your favorite cartoon with someone else who spends the whole time doing a shitty impersonation of the person who had the job before them. God I hate watching this character.





And, again, this is SMUG we're talking about! If this guy can't make a character look stylish and flashy, FUCKING NOBODY CAN. Combofiend, if you're out there, could you please just give Smug his character (sorry, FUNCTIONS ) back? The world will thank you.







But did he beat Mike Ross?

Believe it or not, no:







I like to imagine Mike Ross's grandkids opening their gifts on Christmas morning and squealing with glee as they realize that they received Smug eSports jerseys, only for Mike to get a wistful gleam in his eye and say, "Kids, let me tell you about the time when I beat Smug in pools..."







Favorite foods

Turkey neck bones, Cambodian breast milk. Possibly also boogers.









Why he's getting bodied at Capcom Cup





Also,





"But wait," you say

Yeah, Smug is pretty good. Yeah, his character seems pretty cheap at times. I'll bet that some of you have some thoughts about those two matters. Lemme hear 'em in the comments. Fuck SFV Balrog, that's why. Fuck that character: fuck his dumb, boring V-trigger, fuck his useless V-reversal, fuck the fact that HE HAS A KICK WHAT THE SHIT, fuck TAP, fuck the whole goddamn package. I'll admit that I was a huge Smug fanboy back in the SFIV days, but SFV Balrog has ruined Smug for me. So fuck it - SFV Balrog doesn't deserve to win Capcom Cup. I hope they nerf that character so hard that he sinks to Deejay-tier and we can all finally forget that he fucking exists.Also, NLBC is free Yeah, Smug is pretty good. Yeah, his character seems pretty cheap at times. I'll bet that some of you have some thoughts about those two matters. Lemme hear 'em in the comments.

RISE | SmugI think I would die happy if my outfits were half as fresh as Smug's.Smug Da Beast, Smuggl3s, Smugginyou, Hollyw00d Smug, Grandma Smug, Dr. Smugglesworth PhD, Warhog, Mayor of Duff City, Smudge, Bilbo Smaggins, Jab (YOU GUYS, HE'S A HAMMERHEAD SHARK-MAN AND ONE OF HIS HOBBIES IS BOXING), King Smugkage...okay, so maybe I made some of those up. But good luck guessing which ones!