I’ve never seen Dave or The Roots live, so I went into last night’s show overflowing with excitement. The Roots were of course ridiculous. They had a full orchestra, Chrisette Michelle showed up, Bilal squawked but was still pretty dope and I got my entire life. As expected, Dave’s set talked a lot about pop culture and race, in his signature biting and brutally honest style. My favorite bits were about his kids. I can’t help but think that he’s a really great dad, so it was very cool to get insight into what fatherhood is like for him.

I was pretty much crying with laughter throughout the entire show until what felt like a never ending bit about an LGBT documentary. As soon as the word “transvestite” came out of his mouth, I knew it wasn’t going to be good. Not only did he throw around the word tr***y, but he repeatedly misgendered Chaz Bono, talked about trans people’s genitals, spouted about “real men” and even did a really gross impression of a trans woman, complete with lip smacking, head swerving and a limp wrist. Oh, and that’s was following another really gross bit about punching a lesbian who “looked like a dude”. Translation: You identify as something other than cis and heteronormative?! EEEEEW!

Now before you jump in with, “Do you even know how comedy works?”. Um yes. Yes I do. I realize comedians are going to push buttons and more often than not offend people, but this just felt incredibly low, especially for Dave. Look, I even feel comfortable calling him by his first name like we’re old friends! For me, Dave has always felt like the cool uncle you always wished you’d had. Like, he’d take you to a totally not kid appropriate comedy show without your parent’s permission and always laugh at your stupid kid jokes.

That’s not to say that Dave’s jokes about racism don’t push boundaries, but there was a stark difference in the tone of those jokes and the trans “jokes”. When Dave jokes about racism, he’s punching up. He’s commenting on how shitty things are in a clever way that flips the power dynamics and sometimes even calls you out on your own behavior. There’s a “we’re all friends here but shit is still messed up, so let’s laugh” kinda vibe to those jokes. He’s not co-signing racism, he’s commenting on it. In contrast, the jokes about trans people felt more like, “eeew trans people are weird and gross, let’s laugh at them and their privates”. Not to mention shitting on trans people isn’t new or creative. It’s lazy. Anyone can throw out a slur and get a cheap laugh from a biggot.

, and how jokes like these just reinforce the idea that trans bodies are here for our amusement, abuse, disgust and/or curiosity. Overall the whole bit felt incredibly exclusionary. As if it was beyond comprehension that trans people would watch Chappelle show or that trans folk might be in the audience. But seeing the people around me dying with laughter is probably what bothered me the most. I could just imagine them going back to work or school today, doing their best Chappelle show impression as they repeated these “jokes” for their friends. I thought of the countless stories of violence and discrimination towards trans folk and how jokes like these just reinforce the idea that trans bodies are here for our amusement, abuse, disgust and/or curiosity.

As someone who has always been a huge fan, I say all this not to be the “PC Police” but because I want Dave to do better. And the thing is, he can EASILY do better. While he and the audience might see these as “just jokes”, they uphold oppression and support a culture that already doesn’t respect trans bodies or their personhood. My heart wants to believe that this not what he intended, but intent doesn’t change or lessen the impact. Do I now hate Dave Chappelle and think we should boycott his future shows? Nope. I’m still fan, just a disappointed one.