Zoe Williams: For Johnson, the problem isn’t Brexit, it’s the people who complain about Brexit

Atmospherically, Boris Johnson’s first speech as prime minister was all very Spiro Agnew, for whom the problem wasn’t President Nixon (to whom he was vice-president), corruption, scandal or any other sharp edges of reality, it was the “nattering nabobs of negativism”, the “hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history”. In Johnson’s vision, the problem isn’t Brexit: the problem is the people who complain about Brexit. The phrases were childish (“the doomsters, the gloomsters”; the United Kingdom as an “awesome foursome”) but the thrust was not dissimilar to Theresa May’s. She also entered No 10 filled with certainty and a pugilistic optimism that her will would triumph. There’s never been any shortage of wills; it’s ways we’re missing, and Johnson gave no more clues than anyone else, other than the hint that when it all went wrong it would certainly be the EU’s fault.

His broader plan involved the promise that the matter of social care had been sorted, by which he was probably referring to Matt Hancock’s plan of a 2.5% levy on the over-40s, or to put it another way, a tax. “Free ports” – a system where certain regions pay no tariffs and become, in theory, boom towns for productivity – came up earlier in the week from Liz Truss. It’s more of a wedge issue than a practical idea, designed to create yet another false and boring dichotomy between those who truly care about the north and those who don’t.

His core message was that he would bring us all back together, apparently with vim. Just like “respecting democracy”, uniting the country is somewhere below a platitude, a drive with which no reasonable person would disagree – yet it takes so much more than simply saying it that uttering the statement itself betrays its own meaninglessness.

• Zoe Williams is a Guardian columnist

Owen Jones: His championing of our decadent rich could be his downfall

I remember better structured, more coherent speeches at 2am in Stockport’s Heaven and Hell nightclub. Johnson is certainly a man intoxicated by personal ambition, but his first address as prime minister was more stream of consciousness than a compelling new vision for Britain. Underlining his embrace of rightwing populism, those who disagreed with his Brexit policy – such as it is – were dismissed as “people who bet against Britain”. In the era of headlines such as “Enemies of the People” and “Saboteurs”, we are already familiar with government critics demonised as hostile to their own country.

As boos and jeers rained down upon him he zigzagged from more police numbers to the NHS to animal welfare. But May began her doomed occupancy of No 10 with a more ambitious domestic programme, all of it doomed, and Johnson’s majority is even thinner. He hopes to lance the Brexit party boil: that is, after all, why Tory MPs who privately think he is profoundly unfit to be prime minister put him there. Yet his proposals have already been rejected by the EU, the Johnson train is charting a straight course for no deal – and the aim is to blame that on Brussels.

All of this surely points to a snap election. Johnson should not be written off. A Brexit-inspired culture war is wreaking havoc among Labour’s electoral coalition, too. Labour must paint sharp dividing lines; this is now a contest between a populism of left and right. Johnson should be pinned down as our profoundly unpopular establishment in human form: out of touch with people’s everyday lives, the man who boasted that “nobody stood up for the bankers like I did in 2008”, whose born-to-rule entitlement is married to blundering incompetence. Will Labour’s “many versus the few” populism manage to cut through? It’s far from guaranteed – but Johnson has long been a joke missing a punchline, and his unapologetic championing of our country’s decadent rich could be his downfall.

• Owen Jones is a Guardian columnist

Simon Jenkins: Same old Johnson – all mood music and waffle

The purpose was to seem serious. It was Johnson without the jokes – and we missed them. The rest was simply a rehash of his hustings performance, with a heavy reliance on rhetorical vacuities to give his substance to his new dignity. Johnson’s enemies are the “doomsters, the pessimists, the people who are going to lose their shirts”. This was the burden of his speech. There was no sign that between the campaign trail and Downing Street, Johnson had passed through any Damascene conversion to realism and responsibility.

The prime minister still had no coherent answer to the public’s craving, to know how his government means to cut the Gordian knot of Brexit. There were merely assertions that it would be done. Johnson believed that failure so far was due to ministers “refusing to take decisions” to honour the will of the people. His predecessor, Theresa May, took plenty of decisions. It was people like Johnson who were the obstacle in their way. There are just as many MPs, probably more, ready to do the same to him.

Play Video 11:29 In full: Boris Johnson's first speech as prime minister – video

Johnson offered no hint of conciliation or compromise. He pretended that no deal would be the EU’s fault, which is rubbish. He threatened to pocket the UK’s outstanding £39bn EU payment, as a Brexit “lubricant”, an act sure to enrage even a sympathetic EU negotiator. Yet he could still claim that Britain’s farmers, who face imminent ruin, “are standing ready to sell ever more overseas”. He did not say to whom.

Beyond that, Johnson offered no ideological conception of his approach to government, just waffle. He confirmed a few items from his giveaway leadership campaign – more for schools, health services, police and social care. We heard no more of his extravagant tax pledges. There was no indication of how his programme is to be financed. He is clearly worried about the fate of the union, though with no idea of how it can possibly be strengthened with Brexit.

It is true that mood, enthusiasm, energy and optimism are important components of leadership. It may be that Johnson will prove an effective impresario of his political circus, that the “second division” of ministers whom he is appointing round him will surprise everyone in rebuilding the nation from the Brexit chaos. But as of now, if there is a new Johnson in Downing Street, we have yet to see it.

• Simon Jenkins is a Guardian columnist

Anand Menon: I’m among the doubters, the gloomsters and doomsters

In his remarks in Downing Street, Johnson gave us some clues as to what he’ll do now he’s reached No 10. He repeated the mantra that the UK will leave the EU on 31 October, “no ifs or buts”. And he reiterated his confidence that he can negotiate a new deal. At the same time, however, he kept the bar for that deal extremely high. He will not, he said, tolerate the “anti-democratic backstop”.

It is hard to see, however, how he can achieve what he claims he can. And virtually impossible to see how he can do so within the timeframe he laid down. He might think the backstop is anti-democratic. But there have been precious few signs of any willingness to compromise on this front from either the EU or its member states. And if this does not change, and if we take Johnson at his word, the alternative is no deal. “Yes, there will be difficulties,” he acknowledged. But he was at pains to down play their severity. Moreover, no deal would happen “not because we want that outcome”, but rather because of a refusal by Brussels to negotiate. It would, in other words, be the EU’s fault.

So there we have it. A new deal or no deal. When it comes to the likelihood of the former, I’m among the doubters, doomsters and gloomsters. When it comes to the latter, the speech left me thinking that we face the real prospect of no deal, with a PM preparing a number of popular initiatives intended to win him a subsequent election. Yes indeed, prime minister, the time indeed has come to act. To take decisions. Over to you, Tory MPs.

• Anand Menon is director of the UK in a Changing Europe

Katy Balls: A general election may be on the cards – soon

In case there was any doubt that Johnson will be very different to his predecessor, the newly elected leader used this speech to put some clear blue water between the pair. He criticised the past “three years of indecision” before promising to be a prime minister who took decisions, who took personal responsibility for their pledges – “the buck stops here”.

With 99 days to go until the UK is meant to leave the EU, Johnson already has his work cut out if he is to meet the Brexit deadline. Yet with this speech, Johnson only served to add to the list of tasks he must complete in the next few months to meet public expectations. With critics predicting that this could be one of the shortest premierships in history, Johnson attempted to spark some optimism – turning on the naysayers by saying that the “doubters, the doomsters and the gloomsters are going to get it wrong again”.

As for his pledges, Johnson recommitted to the UK leaving by 31 October – also promising a great new Brexit deal and a solution to the Irish border which would not involve checks. He promised to produce a solution to the social care crisis – something successive governments (with bigger majorities) have failed to do, as well as restoring law and order by putting more bobbies on the beat. Johnson’s insistence that a failure to complete any of these tasks would be a personal failure was an attempt to deal with his party’s trust issue – to convince sceptical voters that he is a sincere politician. The whole speech appeared to be aimed at tackling the Tories’ biggest weaknesses with voters.

The issue is – gloomster warning – it’s hard to see how he can get all this done with the current makeup of the Commons. Johnson’s allies believe that with a tiny majority not everything he has promised will be possible – at least in this parliament. However, by making it clear that he is making decisions and trying to put them into place, they hope the public will take a favourable view of him – and an unfavourable view of those MPs who try to stop him.

Will it work? Don’t be too surprised if you see some of those same pledges on a Conservative general election campaign leaflet in the near future.

• Katy Balls is the Spectator’s deputy editor