Great chemistry is hard to come by, so when you meet a guy you click with, all you can think about is having sex with him. Problem number one: Once you give up the goods, you lose the upper hand in the dating power dynamics. See, sex creates a false sense of intimacy, so even if you were iffy about a guy, you'd suddenly crave a commitment. Now to problem number two: This guy might not be there yet, so while you want to move forward, he's locked in place. The situation can make you feel helpless because he's dictating how serious the relationship gets.

But let's backtrack. During the time before you have intercourse, he's fully under your spell. The longer you hold off, the more intrigued he'll become, allowing you to set the pace and control how things develop. That's why it's important to postpone sex for as long as you can -- I say at least a month. I know it's hard to resist when the attraction is so intense, but trust me, it'll pay off in the end. A few points to consider:

He actually wants you to say no.

In the beginning of the dating chase, men are looking to get laid, but they're also looking to make a connection. Even though he may turn on the charm, subtly (or not so subtly) pushing to get you into bed, the truth is, he'd rather you turn him down than give in. Yes, it's contradictory. Look, he obviously wants to have sex, but he loves a good challenge too, and the more he has to work for it, the more enticing the prize will be. If he likes you, he's subconsciously hoping you'll fend him off because it makes you more desirable. You've heard that anything worth having is worth waiting for. As long as you dangle the promise of sex in front of him, he'll be fixated on you.

The sex will be better.

Which brings me to my next point: The longer you have him in this holding pattern, the more fulfilling the sex will be when it happens. In addition to locking in his interest, you're also building up the anticipation of what's to come.

Let's be honest: First-time sex isn't always the greatest, but because you've been looking forward to it for so long, it'll seem more intense. Plus, since you waited to give it up until you felt completely comfortable with this guy (right?), you'll feel more in charge.

You'll trust your feelings.

It's no secret that hot sex can cloud your judgment. If you click sexually with a guy, you might overlook a lot of his flaws or inflate his good qualities in order to justify your reasons for sleeping with him in the first place.

When you wait to have intercourse though, it'll be with your eyes wide open. Since you've gotten a chance to get to know each other, you can trust that you're sleeping with him for the right reasons, not just because of some intense attraction. Coming to the decision on your own terms, at the right time, not only boosts your confidence, but it makes you feel more empowered in the relationship overall.

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