Are you right there folks please? From today deputy drinkers will have to go elsewhere for their favourite alcoholic tipple, as the Dáil Bar is officially revamped as a juice and smoothie bar.

In efforts to show a fitter, healthier Ireland to our European counterparts, it is thought the low-key move was actually decided last year.

The timing of today's date is said to be important however, but it is not known if it was so TDs could have one last chance to drown their sorrows after yesterday's bank stress tests.

Where as many a political heave would have been discussed over stout, lager or shorts, now members will have to be content with considering a coup de grace over a strawberry and carrot combo.

'How do you like them apples?' said one TD who asked not to be named. 'Just because some prunes decided it's no longer healthy to have a few.'

Fittingly it is believed a delegation from New Zealand, also known as The Kiwis, will be the first to try out the new facilities.

A potential banana skin was believed to have been avoided however, when the new Government signed off on its new measures in one of its first moves.

