Whenever I mention that I have never had a boyfriend, I am always asked why, as if finding someone to connect with emotionally and physically should be so easy. It’s not as if I’ve had all these wonderful options and I just refuse to be tied down. The simple answer is that I have never met someone I wanted to be with who also wanted to be with me. In fact, I’m the girl who likes the guy who likes someone else.

In high school, my crush was the popular guy that I never had a chance with, but we danced to Missy Elliott’s “Work It” at the spring dance sophomore year, which as a non-popular late bloomer is clearly a teenage highlight I’m still holding on to 15 years later. (To be fair, I was dancing behind him while the cheerleader he was actually hooking up with danced with him face to face.)

In college, I directed my attention toward my best guy friend from high school who transferred to my university after freshman year. Even though we hung out every other day, he somehow failed to mention that he was secretly dating my high school rival. By graduation, she had cut off contact with most of our friend group and he followed suit shortly after.

And in my 20s, I fell for my boss at my first job, a man who was quietly dating his boss’s executive assistant. After almost a year together, he dumped the assistant and a month later married his on-again-off-again college girlfriend. So what I’m saying is I have impeccable taste in men. With my track record, I seemed doomed to wander this earth alone, pining for someone else’s boyfriend.

But in May of last year, I uncharacteristically found myself talking to someone on OkCupid who appeared to be single. He was a teacher at the same middle school he had attended, which I found adorable. We lived on opposite sides of Los Angeles, which made it a long-distance relationship. I saw him once a week.