(Disclaimer: this is a work of fiction. Learn to take a joke; you’ll live longer.)

A complete shutterdown was observed in the city of London, from zones 1 to 4 in the aftermath of MQM chief Altaf Hussain’s arrest Tuesday morning.

Central London presented a deserted look as public transport was suspended and the citizens preferred to stay at home. MQM activists were amongst the few seen on the streets, with several of them burning tyres across various points in the city.

“This is a peaceful protest and is our right,” said Arham Iqbal, member of the MQM central committee. “We are forcing no one to stay at home. Rather, it is the people of London who themselves are registering their protests through their inaction.”

“The people of London love Altaf Bhai and he loves them,” he added.

Meanwhile, in what the MQM central office claims are completely unrelated incidents, a total of five Pashtun daily wagers working in London have been killed.