Iowa is undefeated, and your kids are asking questions. They’re confused and concerned. The truth is that you might be, too, which makes talking to them very uncomfortable.



We understand! Though it is important, as a parent, to present a confident and united front, you are only human. We are here to help. Below are some questions and helpful tips from other families in the Midwest who have already talked to their children about the prospect of a 12-0 Iowa Hawkeyes team:

Whose fault is this?

An undefeated Iowa is nobody’s “fault,” but rather a great example of how dedication and teamwork can make an impact on the world. This is a good thing!

TRANSLATION TIP: When people work together, wonderful things can happen!

Why is this happening?

We can’t fully explain why Iowa is undefeated. Statistically speaking, Iowa is unbeaten because it has played good, honest defense and has had a solid rushing attack, all under the tutelage of a veteran coach. Nobody saw this coming, although scientists are looking into whether unusually successful Iowa football seasons correlate with El Niño’s seven-year cycle.

TRANSLATION TIP: As a parent, it is important to convey that unexplained things happen all the time, and we are still able to go about our lives without fear!

Has Iowa been undefeated before?

Four times (1899, 1900, 1921, 1922).

TRANSLATION TIP: In all four of these years, wonderful things happened in world history, such as the invention of the rubber heel or the first use of insulin to treat diabetes. An undefeated Iowa is NOT a bad thing!

Is Iowa Going To Be Undefeated All Year?

According to the ESPN Power Index, the odds of Iowa winning its remaining five games is just 7.6-percent. We believe ESPN is in denial and in the pocket of Mickey Mouse, who, rightfully, has an aversion to all birds of prey.

In reality, Iowa is likely to go undefeated. It’s best to be prepared.

TRANSLATION TIP: East Coast parents can compare an undefeated Iowa to a long, cold winter during which little boys and girls should always be prepared to help shovel snow, stay home from school, or go sledding!

Do I need to be afraid of this undefeated Iowa team?

No! You are in no danger of being harmed unless you have ever said anything mean to Austin Blythe. This is only a very small fraction of the American population.

TRANSLATION TIP: Reassure your children that, even if they accidentally say something mean to Austin Blythe, they can take medicine that will make them better!

Why can’t my children fall asleep?

Don’t read your children anything that might scare them about Iowa football or its fans.

TRANSLATION TIP: Try Goodnight Moon by Margaret Wise Brown.

More coming soon!

(special thanks to Nathan F for his help!)



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