Middle-East peace envoy insists tenure is going absolutely swimmingly

As the latest Middle East uprising saw the alleged death toll in Libya rise to over 300, peace envoy to the region Tony Blair spoke about how his role is going really well thank you very much.

Blair, who has been in post since 2007, told reporters that the recent violent uprisings in Tunisia, Egypt, Bahrain and now Libya were a true indication of his efforts in the last three years.

He said, “I think it’s fair to say that based on the limited amount of bloodshed in the region, I am definitely better at this peace thing than when I was a prime minister.”

“People will point to the illegal wars and stuff from when I was in Downing Street, but I would point to the middle east today and say ‘look, hardly anyone is dying thanks to my drive for peace in the region’.”

“You just have to look at the photos of people in the streets of Libya to know that this has got Tony Blair written all over it.”

“I don’t speak the language, but I’d imagine my name is being chanted quite a lot.”

Middle East Peace Envoy

With tensions rising, and Iran pulling warships through the Suez canal for the first time since 1979, many are speculating that Blair’s role as Middle East peace envoy is on the verge of delivering exactly what everyone thought it would.

Peace activist, “I said at the time that putting a man responsible for the deaths of countless Iraqis and British servicemen in charge of peace in that region would end in tears.”

“At the moment it would be nice if he could get his chart with the number of ‘days since civilian deaths were caused by oppressive dictators’ passed just one.”