My wife and I were watching The View on April 7 when Whoopi Goldberg asked something to the effect, "Aside from your loved ones, with whom would you like to be quarantined?”

When my wife asked me, I replied, "Trump."

She jumped to her feet, which, at our age, is not an easy thing to do, and yelled "You can't be serious. Nobody would want that. Not even Mitch McConnel.”

I told her, I'm very serious. I'd smash Trump’s cell phone and keep him from harming our country, at least for a while. I would enlighten him, among other things, of the difference between patriotism and egomania or leadership and cheating.

When our time together ended, he would be a changed person. To what degree, I can't promise, but I'd consider any change a huge success.

And, think about it. If I kept him bottled up for even one day, all of you could enjoy a much-needed respite. You could turn on the TV without hearing him tell another lie. People all over the world (at least Joy Behar) would sing my praises for years.

Please, no medals. It would be my greatest wish to get you-know-who as a captive audience.