Portland is Way Better than Seattle!

When people ask why I left Seattle in 2005, I never tell them real reason which was, “Because I stopped drinking the coffee.” Seattle is only fun while you’re drinking coffee. Once you stop drinking their delicious coffee it becomes obvious that you have to leave.

I was about 30 when I moved to Seattle in 1992 and it was a great place to spend my 30s. I got to run around and write about music in the 90s, the absolute bitter end of the rock’n roll party, but still fun if it’s all you know. There were buckets of activity, “madness in any direction, at any hour,” as Hunter S. Thompson’s character, Raoul Duke, said of San Francisco in the middle 60s.

Work was plentiful in Seattle in those days. Computerization had begun, yet commerce and industry still needed a few warm bodies around to shuffle the paper. Those jobs are long gone, people aren’t needed any longer to shuffle paper that has long since been computerized away.

I hate the rain in Seattle and wouldn’t live there again. The rain didn’t bother me until I’d been there about 8 or 10 years.

I was married and in my early 40s when I moved to Portland, and to outward appearances, it has been a GREAT place to spend my 40s. I’m much healthier here and now. My lovely wife and I live in a modest but comfy house and her nursing career has done exceptionally well. We go to church every Saturday and we are the embodiment of upstanding citizens.

Portland is an easier and cheaper place to live. It’s easy to get around. Traffic here on the East Side is nothing compared to Seattle traffic jams. Portland is a nice place to be middle aged and shop and run errands.

Seattle restaurants are way better across the board, and sometimes even cheaper, but you can still find good enough eats in Portland. And Portland has the foodcarts where lower priced takeout food is prepared in converted trucks and sold in makeshift outdoor food courts. This puts variety at your fingertips in just about every East Portland neighborhood.

Asian food is much better in Seattle, Mexican food is a tad better overall in Portland.

People are noticeably friendlier in Portland. Way friendlier. The “Seattle Freeze” up north can kill. Parkas are necessary for all human interaction in Jet City.

Portland is more laid back than Seattle.

Portland has lovely roses and many more deciduous trees than Seattle. Seattle has more evergreens, so it’s basically a push. Choose your tree and move accordingly. Portland has tons of evergreens as well.

Portland has perceptibly less rain and fewer dark days than Seattle, although it still has a long, wet, dark winter.

Seattle is a much prettier city and the mountains are closer there with more breathtaking views. Portland has some smaller mountains, and it’s not an ugly city, but it ain’t Seattle.

Seattle’s Marymoor Off-Leash Dog Park is much better than any off-leash area in Portland.

Seattle has the Space Needle.

Seattle has Honey Bear Bakery.

Portland has the Saturday Market. Seattle has Pike Place Market.

Seattle has Puget Sound and at least three lakes. Portland has two unspectacular rivers and at least one open reservoir in which Portlanders can’t be trusted not to pee.

Portland has dragon boat races. Seattle has the Milk Carton Derby.

Seattle has pro football and baseball. Portland has pro basketball.

Portland has the Singing Christmas Tree. Seattle has the Christmas Ships.

Portland has excellent public train transport, the MAX system. Seattle buses are best in the world and they have some kind of light rail now that I’ve never used. Still Portland is better.

Health Care is much better in Portland.

Portland job market is very small and wages are low compared to Seattle. It’s hard to find a gig in this town.

Music scene in Portland is much better than Seattle. Or not. It’s hard to say. Even after all these years I still like the Seattle profferings better.

Seattle has given the world Boeing Jets, Starbucks Coffee and Microsoft. Portland has given the world Nike shoes and the View-Master stereo image viewer.

Seattle has KEXP. Nothing here, or anywhere, can compete with that.

Portland has Danny Glover. Seattle has Stan Boreson.

It is easier to fly to most cities in Asia from Seattle than Portland. Probably easier to fly anywhere from Seattle than from Portland.

But Portland has Portlandia. No TV offerings set in Seattle are that good-humored.