A NIGHT AGAINST TUNISIA

The Fiver didn’t bother watching Monday night’s football, because, well, why would you? England always start big tournaments with a disappointing draw these days, was our rationale. But look! More fool The Fiver! So well done injury-time’s Harry Kane, and well done everyone else, too, with the possible exception of naughty Kyle Walker. That last-gasp winner’s got to augur well for the rest of the month in Russia, hasn’t it? Consider: when England registered their second-best showing in the biggest show on earth, reaching the semis in 1990, they played the Republic O’Ireland in their first game, and started out with a disappointing dr … OK, but when they won the World Cup in 1966 [subs, please check] they entertained Uruguay at Wembley in the opening match, which ended in a disappointing dra … ach! Oh Harry! How could you!

So that’s that scuppered, then. But to hell with history! Because The Fiver retains a small sliver of hope that England may buck that trend, and end up doing rather well, after a night which saw them get away with it against Tunisia. Gareth Southgate celebrated the result by conducting a terrace chant while sporting a statement waistcoat, something not seen on prime-time BBC1 since Slade were regulars on Top of the Pops, but he soon calmed down, finished feeling the noise, and quietly reflected on his squad’s strength in depth. “The guys who came on had a different threat. The freshness of Marcus Rashford and Ruben Loftus-Cheek brought energy and a different threat to the one we’d posed. They had a good impact on the game.” A reflection you can also read as a mea culpa if you like. Because when you consider vast chunks of their performance, he’s got to pick a different starting XI next time, right?

Of course, the one unequivocally good thing about the way things panned out is that Kane is now second-favourite for the Golden Boot behind Him. With two goals in the bag, and a game coming up against a Panama side so out of their depth they managed to make a Bobby M team appear coherent in attack, it’s looking good already. Could he become the first English top scorer at a World Cup since Gary Lineker in 1986? There’s a fair chance if England go deep. And Lionel Messi isn’t going to win it, is he, so the field is already thinning out. Tottenham fans might hope their man just misses out, mind you. Barcelona made off with Lineker after he top-scored in 1986, Everton powerless to resist, and they were a club used to winning stuff. Oh Spurs! Lucky their man’s just signed a new contract, eh. That should stop the big Spanish clubs sniffing around if Kane does a bit too well in Russia. Shouldn’t it?

LIVE ON BIG WEBSITE

Join Scott Murray at 1pm BST for hot MBM coverage of Colombia 2-1 Japan, Barry Glendenning for Poland 1-2 Senegal at 4pm and Paul Doyle for Russia 1-0 Egypt at 7pm.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“When [Vahid] Halilhodzic was coach, we had no chance of winning. We are just lucky to be here now so enjoy the game” – Saburo Kawabuchi, president of Japan Top League and one of the country’s most influential football figures, does his best to dampen expectations before their opener with Colombia.

RECOMMENDED LOOKING

The rather decent David Squires on the Ethics World Cup so far.

Oof! Illustration: David Squires/The Guardian

RECOMMENDED LISTENING



Here’s the latest World Cup Football Daily podcast, with Max Rushden and co, and you can find it in this general area every matchday evening.

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FIVEЯ LETTERS

“You mentioned the amazing form of Eden Hazard (yesterday’s Bits and Bobs). It’s interesting that in 2014-15 he was ever present and player of the season before starting a dozen fewer games in the following season with his form dropping off a cliff before the Euros. It’s also interesting that in 2016-17 he was almost ever-present and almost player of the the season before starting eight fewer games in the following season with his form dropping before the World Cup. It’s almost as if he cares more about being fit and ready for the big international tournaments than he does about playing for his club” – Antony Melvin.



“I know it’s been less than a week since it kicked off, but I’m not particularly enjoying VAR. We already spend too much time gazing at glowing screens that tell us what to do and think. Now referees are doing it in the middle of a football match” – Peter Oh.

Send your letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. And if you’ve nothing better to do you can also tweet The Fiver. Today’s winner of our prizeless letter o’the day is … Rollover.

THE RECAP

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BITS AND BOBS

Croatia striker Nikola Kalinic has been hoofed on the first flight out of Russia after refusing to go on as a substitute against Nigeria. “Kalinic was warming up and supposed to come on in the second half … however, he then stated he wasn’t ready to come on due to a back issue,” blathered manager Zlatko Dalic.

Saudi Arabia’s plane has landed safely despite a buttock-clenchingly scary incident when it caught fire during their flight to Rostov for the game against Uruguay.

Uncle Sepp will attend Portugal v Morocco and Brazil v Costa Rica despite being banned from all football-related activity by Fifa, the big rebel.

Non-World Cup news dept I: Petr Cech might want to locate the Arsenal door marked Do One after the club agreed a deal to sign Bernd Leno for £19m from Bayer Leverkusen.

And non-World Cup news dept II: Chesterfield boss Martin Allen is offering his apologies for rescheduling their pre-season friendly at Nuneaton. “To be perfectly honest with you all, I only got it changed to watch my wife swim in the River Thames to raise money for Cancer Research UK,” he cheered. “Of course I’ll be very proud when she takes on that tough challenge and no doubt she will not be defeated. If I have messed your day up, come and see me in my office for a chat.”

STILL WANT MORE?

Harry Kane rescued us all from the unbearable introspection of another slow first‑week England World Cup sigh-a-thon, writes Barney Ronay.

How the England win went down in a Tunisian cafe at Shepherd’s Bush.

A good meal spoiled. Photograph: Christian Sinibaldi/The Guardian

Talking points, all five of them, from Dominic Fifield in Volgograd.

Max Rushden peers into a hellish futurescape.

Suzanne Wrack on the impressive punditry of Alex Scott and Eni Aluko.

She’s also written her weekly column on the big rebuilding job needed at Liverpool Ladies.

Tensions are still high for Russia despite being on the brink of the knockout stage.

Egypt are ready to gamble on Mo Salah, reports Amy Lawrence.

Thomas Hitzlsperger on the challenge facing Jogi Lurrrrrrvvve.

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