What few of you know is that I've had a long-standing medical condition wherein after a period of strenuous physical activity (such as sprinting) I experience periods of extreme nausea, hot flashes, weakness, migraine headaches, and low blood pressure. Now that I'm off my HMO policy and with more dependable practicioners than your standard "get 'em out the door" HMO doctors, I've made it a point to track down the exact cause of these problems.

After seeing a cardiology specialist for a test known as a stress-echocardiogram, I collapsed and required the sort of attention one gets when your heart rate crashes. I was in good hands, as my collapse was not unforseen and therefore somewhat controlled, but having your heart rate go from 192 down to around 50 in under a minute is unpleasant and tends to scare people.

Anyway, after scans and tests, and me nearly croaking it again on a gurney, they still really don't know what the hell's wrong with me. The cardiologist seems to know [i]what[/i] but doesn't know [i]why[/i]. Evidently my left ventricle isn't getting any inflow. As he explained it to me (as one would speak to a caveman), de blood go out, but de blood no go in. He's of the opinion that I have a congenital heart defect, but something he's never seen before in his life. This is not the sort of thing you really want to hear from a specialist.

Anyway, I'm scheduled to go back in Tuesday for more tests, where I will probably be referred to the Mayo Clinic in Scottsdale. So in short, I don't know what this means. I'm not very optimistic. Really I'm just waiting for them to tell me a date when they expect me to cack it. Maybe I can pack it in, go fight some crime on my borrowed time.