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Love Yourself How You Loved Them

Myles Womack

Senior Staff Reporter

mjw3@uab.edu

Handling grief in the wake of a sudden death is the toughest thing to process in the moment. Learning to cope with that pain and respond to normal and abnormal grief reactions immediately will help save you from further hurt.

On Jan. 26, Kobe Bryant, and his 13-year old daughter, Gianna along with seven others passed in a helicopter crash north of Los Angeles, California. The other victims, John and Keri Altobelli and their teenage daughter Alyssa; Sarah Chester and her 13-yearold daughter Payton. Lastly, Christina Mauser, who was an assistant coach on the girls’ team Kobe Bryant coached and pilot Ara Zobayan.

They were headed to the Mamba Sports Academy, a youth and adult training facility in Thousand Oaks, California. What felt like a bad dream soon became reality as more reports confirmed the unthinkable tragedy.

Throughout the day and over the past week, a flood of condolences, memories, misreports and complicated feelings toward the deceased filled newsfeeds. The unexpected shock felt too familiar.

On April 7, 2015, Torrey Ward and six other people died in a plane crash near Bloomington, Illinois. The other victims, Aaron Leetch, Terry Stralow, Scott Bittner, Andy Butler, Jason Jones and pilot Tom Hileman. Torrey Ward was my cousin. They were returning from the NCAA men’s basketball championship in Indianapolis when the plane descended around midnight.

The news of mine and so many other peoples’ favorite athlete’s passing served as a painful reminder of my cousin who was 37 years of age, just one month older than the late Kobe Bryant. Torrey loved the game of basketball and his family. He was a student-athlete at UAB, played semi-professionally in China and eventually coached in his last days at Illinois State University. The following years have been tough for everyone in each of those men’s families. As I assume it will be for those affected by the loved ones lost in this accident.

My plea to all family members, friends, teammates and fans affected by this loss: love yourselves like how your loved ones loved you. It’s coming up on five years since my cousin’s passing and I am just now understanding this. Denial, shock, panic, depression, hostility and guilt are normal feelings. However, don’t allow it to turn into paranoia, isolation, hostility to unrelated things or people. Grieve, talk, cry, yell and build on the steps you will learn to help others. Do the things your loved ones inspired you to do while they were here and love those who are here.