“A man who can’t bear to share his habits is a man who needs to quit them.” Stephen King, The Dark Tower

Habits are the foundation of who we become. The things we do repetitively in the dark will shine brightly in the light of day. If we want to truly increase the quality of our lives, we must focus on our habits.

For those of you who read my list of the 20 Books Every Man Should Read In 2020 To Jumpstart His Growth, you probably noticed the multiple books focused on helping us develop our habits.

If you’re looking to first validate the importance of consistency in our lives or wish to better understand why we do the things we do and how we can actively shift and improve our habits over time, I recommend jumping into one of following reads:

Each of these books will drive home the importance of habit and breakdown how you can identify, change, and grow them. By adding new and positive habits, the bad ones will eventually become dormant.

With that being said, I’ve been off and on with my habit reassignment for quite some time now. Some habits have really stuck with me and continue to push me to new levels. Reading is the main one that really took hold. However, without action, all the reading in the world will never help.

Because of this, I figured I’d invite all of you to hold me accountable and perhaps even join me on the journey to improve myself further and execute more effectively.

I’ve spent the past couple of weeks analyzing my habits, identifying new beneficial ones, and cultivating old ones that I think can really help me grow in 2020. Some of these habits I have already adopted and whish to grow. Others are habits I’ve either dabbled in or hope to add as a permanent fixture.

Below are the habits I’ve come up with. Please go through the list and let me know what you think. Some, you may agree with. Others may not be for you. Either way, you may just get inspired to compile a list of your own. In no particular order, here are the:

20 Habits I Plan To Grow In 2020

1. Get More Sleep

I’ll be the first to admit… I suck at this!

It’s not even funny. I’ll average maybe five and a half to six hours of sleep during the week and closer to eight or so on the weekends. My days are long, my nights short and I spend more days than I’d like to admit just trying to “Muscle Through.”

First of all, there is no one to blame but myself for this. I’ll eat the blame right off the bat. With that being said. It is extremely counterproductive for my effectiveness. Imagine the performance increase we can experience by making sure our body is fully rested.

There are a number of strategies I intend to approach when it comes to increasing the length and quality of my sleep.

Sleep Sounds – There is something soothing about sleeping to specific sounds at night. It is beneficial in helping me initially fall asleep and quickly sedates me throughout the night. The main tool I’ve used for this is my Amazon Echo Show. You can also Use your Headspace App! (More on that later on.)

Weighted Blanket – I’ve been hearing the benefits of weighted blankets for quite some time now. When I finally lay my head down on the pillow at night, restlessness kicks in RIGHT AWAY! One benefit of weighted blankets is the ability to reduce restlessness. It’s also been said to be effective with stress reduction, help with anxiety and more. Below are a couple of reasonably priced options to get started:

SensalCalm Weighted Blanket – $149.95+

ZonLi King Size Weighted Blanket – $41.99+

2. Drink More Water

Let’s talk about that high-quality H2O. Or as I like to call it, the nectar of the earth.

There are countless benefits to drinking water. It flushes out body waste, lubricates the joints, increases effectiveness during workouts, prevents hangovers (If that doesn’t sell you, what would?), the list goes on and on.

With anywhere between 55% – 60% of your body being water, it’s important to keep the tank full! Whether it’s eight 8-ounce glasses or a gallon a day, you can’t go wrong when it drinking water.

Every night I try to go to sleep with a cup of water near my bed. Before I call it a night, I take a few sips. When I wake up the next morning, I make sure the glass is empty before I leave the house. (About 15min)

Drinking as much water as possible is a great way to stay cognitively alert, clear and attentive. If you want to function at a higher level, start with making sure you’re hydrated.

Now I just need to find out where I put my 32oz HydraPeak Bottle!

3. Meditate

Breathe in. Hold it… Now breathe out.

Do you feel better? Yeah, neither do I.

Meditation is a journey. I have come a long way with it, but I have also fallen flat on my face. What is it they say? Peaks & Valleys, right?

When I first started using the Headspace App, I struggled to focus, sit still and clear my head. Though your head is never truly clear, I have come to look forward to my morning reflections and focuses. I’ll also admit that I meditate at 2:30 AM every day and it’s amazing I don’t immediately fall asleep. Some days I do slip up a bit though. (Thank you back-up alarm!)

I honestly don’t take this seriously enough and in 2020 I intend to increase my attention to it. At one point, I had over a 90-Day streak of meditation under my belt. Let’s make 2020 the start of the 365-day streak!

“If your mind is the sky and your thoughts are the clouds, just know your blue sky is always there.”

Breathe easy, my friend.

4. Take A Course – Continued Education

There’s a difference between school and education. School is a system, education is a tool. If you want to be versatile you need to add to that toolbox.

Thankfully there is this wonderful thing called the internet. The amount of information you can get for free online is egregious. Simply log in to YouTube University and let your curiosity run wild. You can watch videos on how to do just about anything.

If you’re looking to jump down the rabbit hole a little further, there is a wealth of classes and courses you can get access to. Just pick one of the many course platforms available at the click of a mouse.

One resource that is sure to provide value is Skillshare. Be sure to check them out below:

Also, here’s an awesome link to a plethora of places to learn for free online: 12 Dozen Places To Educate Yourself Online For Free

The aim is to apply one hour a week of intentional learning.

5. Read Non-Fiction Books

This one goes hand in hand with the habit above. Though similar, books and courses are also very different. Books are a window through space and time that have the ability to inspire, educate and motivate. Use this power often!

I have been a big fan of the Audible App for over a year now. It’s currently my cheat code to consuming as many books as possible. (Expert Tip: Work your way up to listen with a speed of 2X or more!)

In addition to Audible, I keep a non-fiction book by my bedside and read a few pages each night. This is helpful in creating a continuous stream of knowledge in addition to the weekly course time.

Let the growth commence.

6. Put Things Away – Declutter

What does your desk or workplace look like? If it’s anything like mine, we’ve got some work to do.

My mission in 2020 is to keep a clean and organized workspace. (Y’all pray for me.)

A clean workspace can increase productivity, increase mood and reduce stress. YES PLEASE!

Getting in the habit of putting things away in the moment can help keep a clean room, house, and office. Imagine the clarity and comfort you feel when you’re in a clean and organized place.

One paper, one cup, and one pen at a time. I will keep my workplace clean.

7. Workout, Strength Training, & Cardio

I feel as though this list would not be taken seriously if there was not a single nod to fitness.

I’ve been on many fitness journeys in my life. I’ve trained powerlifting, followed a bodybuilder routine, brief venture into CrossFit (Very Brief), and more. As I settle into my low to mid-30s. I’m finally honing in on balance.

When people ask me why I workout I tell them it’s for two simple reasons:

“I want to look good naked and be hard to kill.”

I say it as a joke, but I’m actually being serious. Of course, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. However, when you know how hard you’ve worked for your body, you’re sure to like what you see. Secondly, with good cardiovascular health, muscle mass, and flexibility aren’t we likely to live longer?

Locking in and having a consistent and balanced fitness regiment is crucial for 2020. A mix of strength, agility, and endurance can take me from being strong to being dangerous.

8. Compliment Someone – Spread The Love

Some people may say Christmas is the most wonderful time of the year because of all the gifts they receive. I beg to differ. What if Christmas is such a joyous time because of all the gifts being given? (Insert mind-blown emoji here.)

Think about it. How great does it feel to give that special someone the gift they’ve always wanted? Pretend for a moment you had the opportunity to give someone the exact thing or experience that would send them over the moon.

Well, my friend, you have that power!

The next time you’re walking down the street and see a hat you like. Maybe you’re in line at the grocery store and the dude in front of you is wearing those Nike Infrared’s you wish you copped. (I’m still salty)

This is your chance. Tell that person what you’re thinking and watch their face tell the story! You’d likely make their day better or turn a bad day around for them. It’s such a small gesture that’s sure to leave a positive influence.

Selfishly, it will make you more likable and approachable at networking events. You’ll instantly leave a lasting impression because people will remember how you made them feel over who you were.

If you want to increase your approachability, feel-good about yourself and have a positive impact on the world, just start to genuinely compliment the people around you. Sounds like a win, win, win to me.

9. Write Things Down – Build A To-Do List

Have you ever told yourself to do something, only to forget about it a few moments later? The inception of thought, gone in the blink of an eye. Carried away like a dandelion in the wind.

Yup… That’s me too.

Imagine simply writing down your thought once it comes to mind and freeing up some of your cognitive ability to focus on the task at hand. Technology today doesn’t only allow you to easily do this. I’d say the almost suggests it.

“Alexa… Set my alarm.”

Siri, Hey Google, Alexa, and countless other artificial assistance platforms boast their ability to set reminders, draft grocery lists and more. It’s something the largest company’s in the world focus on providing you… The ability to make lists.

When it comes to listing and to-do apps, the “List” goes on and on. What I would recommend is making sure whichever app you choose has the ability to sync across all platforms and link to your calendar and email providers as well.

The app I’ve used for years was Wunderlist. I love it! Evidently they were purchased by Microsoft in 2015 and it has recently been announced that they will shift to Microsoft To-Do.

I haven’t personally used the app yet but if it’s anything like Wunderlist, I’m willing to bet it will be downloaded before you finish reading this article.

10. Fix A Problem- Focus On Solutions

My fiancé and I were standing in line at the concession stand before seeing a movie. (We enjoy going to movies together.)

Within seconds we realized the frustration of everyone around us as the poor workers rushed to keep up with the crowd. This was going to take a while.

Instead of giving in to the situation and letting the clock frustrate me like it had everyone else, I decided to take a different approach. I simply asked myself:

“How would I fix this problem?”

The first thing I noticed was each cashier fetching their own orders for the patrons. Secondly, I noticed the popcorn bags being filled up only after an order was made. That was the problem.

Immediately Jess and I started exploring a solution, pointing out the need for a popcorn warmer to hold pre-poured bags. Also having a designated food runner can streamline the process and increase productivity.

Now, this didn’t change our predicament or make the wait any shorter. It definitely didn’t solve the problem. However, the perspective helped us cope with the situation and relax.

Remember that running list you’ve been working on? (See Habit #9) It doesn’t do you much good if it just sits there. How about we cross some items off!

Focusing on solutions and finding problems to solve is a great habit to have when it comes to crossing things off that to-do list and overcoming obstacles when they arise. I can guarantee there will be challenges somewhere over the horizon. Building the resilience and foundation of overcoming these issues will serve dividends for years to come.

Learn to see the solutions, not the problems. It’s all about perspective my friends.

11. Journaling

This is a habit I’ve been notoriously inconsistent at. I’ve started journaling more times than I can count. Each time I start, I rarely stay with it longer than two weeks. (Face Palm)

There are many benefits to putting your thoughts down on paper. It can help to relieve stress, help you organize your thoughts, boost memory, inspire creativity and more.

Even further, writing down goals and ambitions has proven to increase the likelihood of the task being done or reached. With all that being considered, it’s really a shame I haven’t been able to lock this habit in sooner.

This year the importance of habit tracking, planner management, and accountability should be the perfect mix to lock in this essential habit. To be honest, this will be the foundation of a lot of other habits on this list.

If you’re looking to journal more you or even plan your days out a little better be sure to check out the Leuchtturm Hardcover Notebook!

12. Setting Boundaries & Saying No

Have you ever seen the movie “Yes Man” starring Jim Carrey? (Great movie if you haven’t)

It accurately depicts some of the benefits we can enjoy in life when we start saying yes to experiences and try new things. We transform into completely different people and build an array of skills, experiences, and stories that will likely make us more interesting and lead to a more enjoyable life.

Though this is hugely beneficial and needed, there must also be a healthy boundary.

I’m the first to say yes. Yes to know opportunities, requests for help, and new ventures. This has caused me to stretch myself extremely thin at times and set myself up for stress and overwhelming pressure. This is where saying “Yes” becomes a liability instead of an asset.

This year, I’m deciding to implement a 24-hour rule on all requests and ideas I am presented with. Even if I am adamant about committing at the moment, it’s important to truly weigh the gravity of what’s being considered and if I’m truly willing and able to commit.

Doing so will help me to better manage my time and prioritize the things that are truly important.

It’s important to also note that “No” should be enough. You don’t need to explain your rationale or defend your boundaries against anyone. If you find that there is more tension in certain relationships once you start establishing boundaries, you’ll also be able to better identify which connections are more draining than serving in your life. This could prove even more valuable when looking to build “Corner Four Relationships.”

(Learn more about Corner Four Relationships in the book: “The Power OF The Other”)

13. Take Cold Showers

This habit is all about building up your mental toughness and increasing grit. I’ve been randomly taking cold showers for about a year and a half now. This year, it’s time to increase the frequency and consistency of it.

Life will serve up its fair share of challenges and set-backs. You may be going through a storm of your own while reading this. Perhaps that storm is the reason you’re here in the first place.

Whatever the cause, life is hard. PERIOD.

Once we’ve accepted that simple fact, the next step is to decide what to do about it. Do we cry, whine and wish things were different? Or do we take a deep breath, pull ourselves together, and rise to the occasion?

For me, there is only one choice. I must increase my ability to withstand and progress through pressure. This is done by increasing your tolerance for adversity.

Just like a muscle needs to be broken down in order to grow stronger, so does your brain. Forcing yourself to endure strategically placed challenges and discomforts will in time callus the mind to withstand more pressure or stress.

In addition to the mental aspect, there are plenty of physical benefits cold showers can provide. Taking cold showers reduces stress, drains your lymphatic system, increases circulation, and improves immunity.

Do yourself the unpleasant favor of taking cold showers at least three times a week.

14. Practice Gratitude

“I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet”

A lot of times we simply don’t realize how good we really have it. Despite the storms we go through in life, we are still blessed to see the rainbows that follow. (This is, in fact, the main theme of my No Rain… No Rainbows Podcast)

Would you believe me if I told you that people who practice gratitude experience more overall happiness than those who don’t when all things are considered equal? When we stop and take inventory of what we’re packing and not what we’re lacking, our perspective on things is sure to change.

Each morning before I leave for work, I dedicate 5 minutes to gratitude and positive reflection. I use those silent pivotal seconds drenched in the darkness of night to put life into perspective. No matter my mood or situation, I close my eyes, take a deep breath, focus on my blessings and say; “Thank You.”

I can honestly say, I’m a much happier person for doing so.

15. Skip the Snooze Button

Would you believe me if I told you that hitting the snooze button is actually bad for you? Well, it is.

Forcing your brain to make a decision when first coming out of the fog of sleeplessness sets yourself up for failure every time. When that alarm goes off, your brain then has to decide whether it’s time to wake up or if there is still time to catch some more Z’s.

“Five more minutes!”

If you make it a point to set your alarm for the latest you possibly can, then your immediate reaction should be nothing other then getting out of the bed and starting your day. This will allow you to start with routine, discipline, and willpower. Before anything, you would have already won.

This is a daily occurrence for me waking up at 2:20 AM. There is no time to snooze, hesitate or contemplate. I’m up and ready for the day at a moment’s notice.

This is the perfect way to train our bodies to react with action upon a though rather than hesitating and allowing procrastination to sink in.

Skip that snooze button and see what impact it has on your daily life.

16. Aromatherapy

Fitness and improved health are often goals people hope to achieve through habits. I’m sure you can tell this list is no different. I’m focused on improving my physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health. Think mind, body, spirit, and soul.

Aromatherapy is essential for this. (See what I did there!?)

Essential oils are concentrated liquid extracts from plants that provide a variety of influences and regulators for the human body. The use of essential oils can stimulate the limbic system which deals with emotions and memory. This can be done by using a diffusor or applying small amounts to be absorbed into the skin.

The benefits of aromatherapy include stress relief, improved sleep quality, reduced anxiety, ease muscle soreness, improve digestion, and boost immunity. Did I also mention it can make your home smell FANTASTIC!?

Adding a diffuser to my living space and stacking it with my meditation practice is sure to help deliver soothing and effective results.

This is a habit I know my fiance will be happy to help me with.

17. Weekly Social Unplug

There has been a lot of talk about social media and the impact it has on our lives. While a good number of people feel it’s a problem and an issue in today’s society, there is also a growing population of supporters that defend it until death.

For me… It’s a tool. You either use it or abuse it.

Let’s use explosives as an example. The United States Army uses them as a tool of destruction while Disney uses them to incite joy and happiness around the world. These are the two leading global consumers of explosives yet they operate with two very polarizing motives.

The point here is that social media is not the enemy. How you use it is.

With that being said, it’s important to audit your life, your usage, and how it impacts the people around you. If I’m being honest with myself, I fall dependant on The Gram, Tik Tok, and Facebook more than I’d like to admit. This can sometimes take time away from those around me including my fiance. (I’m sorry boo!)

This year, I will consciously detox from Social Media every Sunday. There, I said it!

This doesn’t mean I won’t have scheduled posts or make exceptions for work and business obligations. This will be more of a consumption detox. When we spend hours on end scrolling through our feeds, double-tapping away, something is sure to be neglected.

Sunday detoxes will be my way of checking back in and staying grounded with what’s important.

18. Get Outside & Get Sun

Did you know about one billion people worldwide suffer from Vitamin D deficiency? More specifically over 46% of Americans have low levels of what is called the “Sunshine Vitamin.”

Vitamin D can help reduce depression, fight disease, and enhance weight loss. It’s a wonder why Americans face so many health issues. We don’t go outside!

In the world of Netflix streaming, Disney+ Watching and Fortnite tournaments, when do we get to fill up our vitamin D battery?

The charge is free but some intentionality is required…

Sure too much sun can be detrimental to our health and lead to sunburn, sun poisoning, skin cancer and a host of other problems. That’s why it’s important to practice moderation!

Maybe it’s going on a bike ride with some friends. One day I might want to play a few pick-up games of volleyball. Did someone say pool day!?

Whatever the activity, getting sun will be a priority throughout the year as I also look to get in touch with nature and reconnect with the world around me. Doing so is sure to improve my overall quality of life.

19. Build Relationships By Reaching Out

How many times have you bumped into a friend at the grocery store and realize it’s been months since you’ve last spoke? Or maybe you’re scrolling through Instagram, on a non-detox day of course, and you find out your good friend had a baby and you didn’t even know they were expecting?

You’re not a bad person. Life happens to all of us!

We fall into our routines. We go from work to the house, to errands, to projects, to child care then do it all over again. It’s exhausting! The last thing you can think of is what your friend Colin is up to! (Sorry it’s been so long man!)

Or maybe you’re on the other end…

You don’t hear from someone for years and all of a sudden your inbox chimes and they’re asking for a favor or looking to share in some of the shine you’re getting from all the blessings pouring in. You love and respect this person but can’t help but feel like you’re being used.

Don’t fall on either side of these scenarios.

Every week, I’ll make it a habit to scroll to the bottom of my text thread and reach out to someone I haven’t spoken to for a while. This was a concept first brought to my attention by Jordan Harbinger in his podcast: The Jordan Harbinger Show. (You should check him out!)

It doesn’t have to be a lengthy message or an hour-long phone call. Surprisingly, you can send a simple note like:

“Hey, stranger! It’s been a while. I hope you’re doing well. No need to reply. I just wanted to let you know I thought of you and wanted to make sure you’re doing well. Looking forward to the next time we have a chance to connect but until then keep fighting the good fight. You got this! – Ted”

I think you’d be surprised how far a gesture like this can truly go. Of course, your message or note may be a little different than mine and personally tailored to the recipient, but you get the point.

Stay relevant, stay in contact and be genuine. You never know, you just may make that person’s day or have the perfect “in” if you need to ask for a favor one day. Make the relationship less of what you can get out of it and make it more about connection and appreciation.

It just may re-ignite a friendship that can take you to the next level.

20. Reward Yourself

I’ll admit… I’m terrible at this!

It’s easy for us to fall into the head down, hustle hard, no days off mentality. I’ve been notorious for this among some of my friends. I know you’ve heard the phrase;

“I’ll rest when I’m dead.”

Well, if you’re not careful, that rest can come sooner than you want it too.

Maybe that’s a bit dramatic, but there is a level of truth to this. Did you know heart attacks are more likely on Mondays by 20% for men and 15% for women? Maybe it’s because the stress is killing us, literally!

It’s also important to understand the pace at which you’re working and how it’s taking a toll on your body. Much like I started this habit list with a focus on sleep, the ending comes full circle with a focus on self-reward.

Taking the time to enjoy the fruits of your labor, the things you work for and letting loose just may be the incentive for you to work twice as hard when you get back at it. After all, if you never taste what it is you’re trying to make how do you know the flavor is right?

This year, let’s have some fun…

I’ll be sure to make a conscious effort to indulge in experiences, spend time with friends, and plan more date nights. If the destination is the journey then it’s time to start enjoying all the aspects of it while setting ourselves up for prolonged and sustained success. Don’t let the year go by without creating some memories along the way. Your future self will be sure to thank you for it.

If you can’t afford the penthouse this year, take that room a few floors down. It will make the penthouse view that much sweeter when you’re taking it all in in the year 2021.

Conclusion

The habits we develop are more than what we do. They become who we are.

Over the course of time, we will be shaped and fall to the base in which our actions place us. The consistent activities we take part in are sure to lead us to the person we ultimately become.

With the habits above, I hope to be someone operating at their fullest while positively impacting the world around me. I want to enjoy my days, choose my future and leave a lasting impression on others. Hopefully, these habits stick and lead me down that path.

If you’re working on building yourself as well, feel free to comment below which habits you hope to adopt or grow. This is a life long journey. The good news is you don’t have to walk it alone. I hope some of the resources and links I shared above help you along the way. (Full disclosure I am an affiliate for a number of the services) Also, feel free to comment and share your thoughts below and keep the conversation going. If you got value from this list, please share it with others and find out what they think!

Thank you for keeping me accountable and I’ll see you at the end of 2020.

#LetsGrow