This is my go-to mantra.

It's on my mind all the time.

"You Don't Get What You Don't Ask For."

However, if all you ever do is ask without reciprocation, you'll be less inclined to get the response you want.

Let me give a few quick examples to illustrate my point.

Here's a few amazing and powerful things I've accomplished in the last 3 months by first thinking, "You don't get what you don't ask for."

Forbes Coaches Council Annual Membership Fee Reduced

Forbes Coaches Council Startup Fee waived

Late payments reversed (Toll bill and Rent)

Bought a car reduced by 15%

New clients

New partnerships

Freedom in relationships

etc.

None of these things were going to happen on their own. And, this is just a short list of examples I chose from the many I could've listed.

My life is pretty great and one of the reasons is because I ask for what I want. If I don't, how could the other person possibly know what I want.

They are not a mind reader.

An all too pervasive occurrence in our society is for someone to not clearly express what they want or ask for what they want, and then to subsequently not get what they want, only to follow up with the final act of being mad at that person, dissatisfied with the result, or feeling like they compromised at best.

You can choose that route.

Or, you can ask for what you really want.

It's the only way to get it, I'll promise you that.

That being said, there's a small caveat that I would make to this blanket mantra that's always on my mind.

You Don't Get What You Don't Ask For, BUT...

If all you do is ever ask for more, more, more, then it's likely the other person's patience, trust, and general favor towards you is going to waiver.

For example, if you ask your boss to leave early on Friday to do something important to you, chances are that given that you're a great worker, they'll happily oblige.

Then, let's say you ask the next week to extend your upcoming vacation by a few days because your best friend you haven't seen in decades is going to be there too and you don't want to miss the amazing opportunity. Again, chances are they will evaluate you as a worker, and then oblige. You don't get what you don't ask for.

Then let's say the following week you look at your salary and think you might benefit from a 5% raise. When you go to your boss this time, they are likely thinking to themselves, "Wow, this person asks for a whole lot from me. Maybe I should replace them with someone who won't always be asking for so much."

The lesson here is to make sure you establish a relationship of generosity, giving, and gratitude with the person you're asking from.

I truly think that people love to give. But I think people hate when that giving isn't appreciated.

You don't get what you don't ask for.

So, let's take that same example and see how it might be improved.

Perhaps after you leave early on Friday, you show up early on Monday with a box of donuts for the team and thank them all for pulling your weight while you stepped out and let them know that you'll happily return the favor for any of them.

Perhaps when you go on vacation, you bring something back for your boss as a token of your appreciation to show them how much their generosity meant to you.

Perhaps when you ask for a raise, you start by acknowledging how much you appreciate being a member of the team and come with a 90 day proposal for what you'll set out to accomplish and ask whether or not accomplishing that would warrant the raise you're seeking.

These are only ideas, but the idea is to make the other party feel appreciated as much as you appreciate their helping you out as well.

And this goes for your boss, your employees, your partners, your friends, and every other type of person you ever find yourself relating to.

As my favorite artist Trevor Hall would say, "Don't carry stones in your bowl of light."

Or in other words, don't let generosity go unappreciated.

You Don't Get What You Don't Ask For.

And People Love to Help Someone Who is Grateful for the Giving.

So, with your newfound power of asking for what you really want,

What will you be asking for?

Here's to you Actualizing Your Potential!

--

With gratitude,

Dennis McGinley

Founder and CEO @ STRIVENT

dennis@striventllc.com

striventcoaching.com

"Actualize your Potential!"

FREE RESOURCES:

1. Free Course for Entrepreneurs and Freelancers: Designed to empower entrepreneurs and freelancers with actionable strategies that will help them dominate their niche, increase lead generation, and become a master of sales.

2. Gaining Clarity: Designed to have you critically think about the life you want to create and identify the gaps between how you want to live and how you actually live.

3. Discovery Call: 30 minute phone call designed to give you the insights, support, and strategy you need to break through and be successful!

PAID RESOURCES:

If you're looking to understand the latest science around health and wellbeing and looking for practical ways to integrate those findings into your life, pick up a copy of the book!

1. IMPRESSION: A Comprehensive Guide to Optimal Wellbeing

The book, IMPRESSION, is both an inspiring call to action and an educational tool that will equip the reader with the knowledge they need to live a healthy and fulfilling life. For at least half a century we've been told that health consisted solely of diet and exercise, when in reality it's much more than that.

IMPRESSION explores the ten interrelated elements of our wellbeing and how they each play a pivotal role in determining our lifestyle. From the food you eat and how often you are fulfilled by your work, to the type of people you surround yourself with and your sex life, each of these choices influences your level of overall wellbeing.

IMPRESSION is an acronym for the ten interrelated elements of our wellbeing:

Intellectual

Monetary

Physical

Restoration

Emotional

Social

Spiritual

Intimacy

Occupational

Nutrition

IMPRESSION is an investigative look at how certain types of lifestyles lead to happy, healthy, and engaging lives, while other lifestyles lead to a host of problematic thoughts, feelings, and emotions about the past, present, and future.

UPCOMING PROGRAMS:

1. Mastermind: STRIVENT Masterminds are 90 day programs that bring together small groups of the most ambitious and inspiring Entrepreneurs, Freelancers, Consultants and other Leaders to hold each other powerfully accountable to their big goals while sharing insights and lessons from successes and failures along the way.

Next available spots for the Mastermind start in November, 2019. Apply Here!

2. Annual Summit: This year's Annual Summit will be hosted in beautiful Winter Park, Colorado for 4 days of transformative breakthroughs and community celebration in the Rocky Mountains. It will be an unforgettable experience of business and personal workshops, hot seat sessions, speakers, surprise challenges, skiing, hot tubbing, and most importantly coming together with your tribe! You don't want to miss this! MEMBERS ONLY.