Welcome to my episode two recap! Bet you weren’t ready for that one. I guess you could say my drink of choice for this week was margaritas on the rocks, with extra salt ;)

Brace yourselves, as I pull back the curtain on my first Bachelor in Paradise rose ceremony experience. Me, nervous? 100 percent. But first, I’ll pick up where I left off.

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Colton & The Goose Gang

The Prince of Paradise (a.k.a Colton) and the Goose Gang (a.k.a. Chris, Jordan, and Nick) are at it again. Are we watching Bachelor in Paradise or The Real Bachelors of Playa Escondida? Chris wants to get rid of Colton because Colton places a speed bump between him and Tia. Apparently, to center himself and get ready for the challenge, he went for some Karate Kid wax-on-wax-off action on the beach...?

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Colton’s Cry Sesh

We all saw the Colton waterworks, yeah? In a major surprise, Becca returned for a visit to talk to both Tia, who’s very into Colton, and Colton, who’s not quite over Becca. What a love triangle.

In Colton’s defense, his feelings for Becca were still very raw and real when he arrived in Paradise. It’s not like he didn’t want to get over her, but things are always easier said than done. Paradise was supposed to be an opportunity to begin a new chapter. He was honest with Tia and admitted he came to explore options. We’ll come back to this later.

The End of Kevin and Krystal?

This week’s lucky date card holder was Kenny. To Kevin’s surprise, Kenny, after playing the field, decided to take Krystal on his one on one. Kevin was not thrilled, since he had spent most of the prior evening hitting it off with Krystal.

I’ve got to say, I am glad I missed out on this one-on-one date at a Mexican wrestling match. The last thing I would want is to re-live my GLOB (Glowing Ladies of The Bachelor) wrestling days. Talk about PTSD.

Astrid & Kevin

I've got to hand it to Kevin. With Krystal out of sight, gone for a full day on her date with Kenny, he was quick to make moves on Astrid. A lizard that crept up on her during their alone time freaked her out and almost ruined the whole thing, but its attempt was no match for Kevin. He went in for the kill and came out on top.

Fun Fact: I totally saw this happening (this couple, not the lizard grope). I heard about Astrid possibly joining the cast in Mexico before we got there, so I sent Astrid’s Instagram profile to Kevin before the show and told him, “I feel like you would hit it off with this girl.” Call me the intuitive matchmaker? You’ll have to wait to find out.

Being Colton’s Lifeline

Me: “I think a lot of us would be really okay with seeing Colton go.”

Also Me: Colton, want my rose? #TightEndsStickTogether 🍑

Yes, after Colton became the villain of the episode, I gave him my rose at our first elimination ceremony. And here’s why: What people forget is that there's always more to it than what you see. Those 10 minutes of air time are hours of drama pieced together. Rose ceremonies are long and stressful for all of us — even more so if you’re not sure who you're giving your rose to ahead of time, like me.

If you’ve been watching closely, you’ll notice that while some women are considering potential partners two and three, I have yet to make a real connection or have a lip-locking encounter with any of the eligible bachelors. I knew my rose decision was going to be strictly platonic — and believe me, Colton was not one of my original contenders.

What changed? My heart. I was standing by the bar and, once again bombarded by the drama surrounding Colton, I immediately felt annoyed by him. But then, it hit me: I needed to call a time out. I hadn’t even had a chance to really talk to this guy. I was just going along with everyone else’s opinion and general consensus that this has got to end. In that moment, I realized how many times people just assume the worst of me because of what other people are saying.

So what you didn't see was me pulling Colton aside so that I could hear hear thoughts and feelings about the whole situation directly from him. I wanted to see where his head was at and how he was doing. I’m sure it’s frustrating to come into Paradise, late to the party, and feel like you can't catch a break. I felt for him.

So fast forward to the rose ceremony, as I am standing up there, rose in hand, scanning the guys who are left — all of whom deserved to stay. I felt it best to go with my intuition and chose Colton. Honestly, I wasn’t sure I was going to pick him until his name sort of leapt from my mouth. But I felt good about it. I let him know that I had his back, and that everyone shouldn’t always let their decisions be swayed by those around them.

Although I’ve enjoyed the endless stream of tweets insinuating that there were strings attached to my decision, I can promise you: That was not the case. My fans know I don’t play into BS and I’m not afraid to drop the mic. If you play that clip again, pay close attention to how nervous I was when Chris Harrison called my name and how my voice cracked as I told Colton, “Let people get to know you for you.” I simply chose the person I felt deserved a shot and a clean slate. I offered Colton a lifeline, and although it confused everyone, I stand by that decision.