Pack your shit boys! We're moving to Wicked Creek.

by Chadrick Frakes Sun Jun 07, 2015 7:05 pm

As President of the infamous and most renowned corporation in all of Amarrica, it is with great pride that I come before you all today with a bit of a heavy heart, and also sense of excitement for the future and where it will take us. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, Dirt n Glitter will be leaving our long time home in Egghelende to join our shitposting brethren in TEST Alliance Please Ignore. My diplomats have long been in contact with the gentlesirs flying under the flag of the motivated dinosaur and we have come to an agreement that will have us leaving lowsec and joining the ranks as the tactical sperg force leading all sperg assaults on Wicked Creek, effective immediately!

Why would we choose to leave our homeland and venture into null security space? It just makes sense. Much in the way the US lead the middle east from a land of lawlessness and corruption, so shall Dirt n Glitter bring the blessings of Kesha to all of the heathens in Wicked Creek. Anywhere a local shall be silent, we will be there. Anywhere a fleet is lacking in tranny porn, we will be there. Anywhere a comms shall be devoid of drunken bullshit, WE WILL BE THERE.

Activity has reached extreme lows as the summer has crept into the warzone and many of you shitlers have stopped logging in and began doing things such as going outside, spending time with family, participating in organized sports, etc. We care not for these peasant activities and frown upon all of you fair weather farmers that align yourselves with the Russian scourge with their stabbed fleets oppressing our neighborhoods and lowering our property values. We as a people seek content, and content we shall have in our new home. Egghelende shall always be our home, but our home has become infested with minorities living next door in the form of Dead Terrorists. While we love penises so large they can be spun in a circular fashion, it does not make for quality levels of entertainment for my people. Just like in high school when the same bully repeatedly had sex with you in the boy's locker room, while you enjoy it, at some point you kind of want to see other people but feel like you're cheating. Dirt n Glitter is no cheater, we are a hearty group of lovers who would like to have sex with other bullies. DT we shall miss you, and while you may never admit it I know you will miss us, but this is purely sexual so I hope there's no hard feelings and you find another regular fleet of frigates to log in your Titans for. You have been the only real source of excitement for quite some time and we thank you for that.

TEST Alliance Please Ignore has shown itself to be a stalwart in the world of internet spaceships. Not only have they survived being aligned with Goons and Brave, but they've got a great personality and we plan to spend time forging a relationship with them much like the chubby girl that lives in your building that you often drink with and sleep over but never actually take out on the weekends. In watching the fall of others who have become null pets we have learned much, we are not doing this for the sov, we are not doing this trying to be something we are not. We as a whole are doing this in the only way we know how with all decisions made via drunken ramblings on Slack with no prior thought, no real consideration to how we will do it, and definitely without any true plan in place. I believe the younger generations, my future supporters, refer to this as “YOLO”.

Where will this lead? Will we make it in nullsec or will our level of shit tier shenanigans have us sent back home to lowsec? Only time will tell but I urge you all brothers and sisters, reach into yourselves and taste what is in your heart. Be it bitter or be it sweet, know that Dirt n Glitter will continue to shine and shit on all things on grid. Those of you who did not vote for me or have not aligned yourself with DnG, I say unto you, did you know that DnG is recruiting?

Chadrick Frakes

President of Dirt n Glitter