Obama ended his speech with a sense of hope and promise in the future:

"A dream of brighter days ahead, a faith in things not seen, a belief that here, in this country, we are the authors of our own destiny. That is what Hampton is all about. And it now falls to you, the Class of 2010, to write the next great chapter in America's story; to meet the tests of your own time; to take up the ongoing work of fulfilling our founding promise. I'm looking forward to watching."

That is a stark contrast to the speech given by Beck. When Beck's engagement was announced I noted the good fortune of LU's student body for having secured an alcoholic, drug-abusing, rodeo clown, college dropout to inspire the graduates by advising them on how to succeed in life by making goofy faces on TV while lying about your political adversaries.

Beck did not disappoint. His speech was a litany of cliched platitudes (Turn the other cheek) mixed with attempts at humor (Taxicabs smell worse in the summer). And for someone whose grasp on reality is tenuous, he may have been engaging in a little projection at times (Your job is to remember who you are). But here are a few notable excerpts, presented as advice that he intended to give to his daughter as she entered college (but never did), that are surely going to inspire these young folks for years to come:

Life is hard. And then it gets harder. And then you die.

There are no coincidences in life. Look for them.

Sleep hard, but sleep less.

Only date those who love you as much as I do.

[Weeping] Only date those who will treat you as I have tried.

Anyone who wants to take your choice away is evil.

Shoot to kill.

I'm not quite sure how you go about looking for coincidences that don't exist. And I'm pretty sure his admonition about those taking away your choice doesn't apply to his daughter of any other woman. And tonight I will likely stay awake wondering how to sleep harder. But I don't envy the LU grads who will have to bear with the memory of this spectacular loser sobbing through his embarrassingly bad remarks.

How will these young people evaluate their prospective dates based on the criteria supplied by Beck? This could have been dismissed as a joke except that it brought him to tears as he said it. And of what use is it to a graduating class, who are looking forward to a boundless future, to draw their attention to shooting and killing? This is the same Glenn Beck who bristles whenever he is accused of inciting violence.

A commencement speech is supposed to be the highpoint of one's academic experience and something that will last as a cherished memory. But this will have the lasting power of a chunk of Limburger that managed to roll unnoticed under the sofa to ferment for a few weeks. I think I would rather ride in a taxicab in the middle of summer than have to sit through Beck's speech again.

Update [2010-5-16 0:53:8 by KingOneEye]: Later the same day Beck appeared at the conference of the National Rifle Association. His speech there advocated allowing the United States to "sink" like the Titanic. Then it could be rebuilt (in his image?).

"We have to think of something, because the Titanic is going down," he said. "We need to save the passengers, that's what we need to worry about. Let the ship sink if we have to. We have a great plan: It's called the Constitution, and we'll build another one."

What a repulsive notion. Does he have no conception of how many lives would be ruined were his fantasy to come true?