***Update***: It appears this site is a hoax. I think. If so, well played, “Rev. Andrew.”

…

If you’re not sure who to vote for next year, don’t worry. Rev. Steven Andrew has you covered with his American Christian Voting Guide:

It doesn’t bother me that the Democrats have an average score of 0%.

I’m not surprised that Lincoln Chafee and Martin O’Malley and Jim Webb were left off the list altogether.

I’m a little curious how the Founding Fathers received a collective 100% down the line… especially when you consider that many of them were Deists and others would certainly not fit the mold of the evangelical Right today. Also, you know, slaveowners.

But the scariest thing about this report card is that the candidates who are generally considered representatives of the Religious Right — Mike Huckabee, Ben Carson, Ted Cruz — do really poorly. Even they’re not Christian enough for Andrew. Who knew their problem was not fearing God enough? (And how exactly did Huckabee score a 92% in that area? That seems… arbitrary.)

In any case, feel free to cut out this guide for Election Day next year. And then, when it’s time to vote, drive to the nearest airport, hop on a plane, and fly far, far away. At least you’ll have some reading material for the flight.

(via Joe. My. God.)



