A lot of people are stressing out about why Giancarlo Stanton hasn’t picked between the Giants and the Cardinals yet, and what could be taking him so long, and how he seems like the next in a long line of players who don’t necessarily dislike the Giants, but don’t like them enough to want to come to San Francisco (Shohei Ohtani is the player after him in that line, but that’s a digression). But I’m here to tell you: It’s fine. Relax. Stanton is totally coming here.

Look, I know what you’re thinking: “But Doug, if it’s such a sure thing, then why hasn’t he approved a trade yet?”

Well, Hypothetical Strawman, it’s because he doesn’t want it to be inevitable. I didn’t say that a 98-loss team was his first choice or that he doesn’t have worries, but if his priority is Getting The Hell Out Of Miami, which it sure seems to be, then he’ll come to the Giants, a team that is actually trying to win, even if we Giants fans sure aren’t convinced that they’re doing a good job.

But what about the Cardinals? The Cardinals are also trying to win, and last year, they sure did a better job of it. Wouldn’t they be a more logical destination? Sure, if winning is all you care about. But what if you care about not living in the Midwest? Let’s see Stanton’s opinion on that.

One person said he “didn’t see any way” he’d accept the Cardinals but added the disqualifier that he can’t say he knows for sure. Another opined that he’d “100 percent” take the Giants over the Cardinals if that’s the choice, and yet another suggested the Midwest, behind the most preferred West Coast and East Coast, is his “last choice.”

So no, the guy with the no-trade clause isn’t especially inclined to go to St. Louis. And while the Cardinals have been more successful lately, well, it’s not like the Giants being good is some distant memory passed down from scribe to scribe through the generations. Anyway, no one wants to go to the Cardinals, and why would Giancarlo Stanton be any different? All these facts will drive him to San Francisco.

Of course, rumors have had the Dodgers lurking on the periphery of these talks too, but he’s not going there, everything’s cool, he’s coming to the Giants. The Dodgers aren’t willing to make a deal that the Marlins would accept, so even if Stanton would prefer to go to Los Angeles, he can’t make the Marlins take a deal that isn’t what they’re looking for.

Besides, you know why he wants to go there? Because he grew up in LA and wanted to play there when he was a kid. Well, what kids want is stupid and doesn’t matter. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a fireman in space. That’s a terrible idea. Fires can’t burn in space. They’d fire me immediately because there’d be no work. In conclusion, the things that he wanted as a kid are irrelevant, so he’s going to play for the Giants.

But why would he be okay with playing for the Giants? Why would he be so okay with playing for the Giants, who lost 98 games last year in a season that some observers called “subpar,” that it’s beyond dispute that he will accept a trade to San Francisco? Well, it turns out Grant wrote about just that this morning at the big SB Nation Baseball site. So go read that. But what it comes down to is that there’s reason to believe the Giants will be good soon, that if they’re not good soon they’re going to try to be good soon after that, and they’re quickly approaching the time when their Mission Rock development will start bringing them money by the bucketload, which will allow them to buy good players in the near future if the players they currently have continue to be not good.

Here’s the gist: San Francisco is a better place than St. Louis and Los Angeles won’t put in a deal good enough that the Marlins will accept it. Nothing could possibly change this between now and the time that Stanton decides where he wants to go. And remember, while Stanton has an opt out after the 2020 season, if he’s bad before that, Johnny Cueto style, then he’ll be around for 10 years total. It makes sense he’d take time to make sure that this is what he wants, but it is. He wants to come to San Francisco, so he will. It’s settled.

There is, and I cannot stress this enough, absolutely nothing that could possibly derail this inevitable deal. It’s important to note that sources adamantly disagree on what is in the deal:

SourceS : Full trade offer from SF to Miami for Giancarlo Stanton.



Tyler Beede

Heliot Ramos (1st noted by @JoeFrisaro )

Chris Shaw

Christian Arroyo @jonmorosi had 250 mil 1st@clarkspencer had some combo of this deal also. — Craig Mish (@CraigMish) December 5, 2017

Christian Arroyo is NOT part of #SFGiants proposed deal with Marlins for Stanton. #sfgiants. — Henry Schulman (@hankschulman) December 5, 2017

But in the end, we will find out who is in the deal when Giancarlo Stanton approves it and comes to the Giants, which he definitely will. Congratulations, Giants fans. Start counting your chickens now so you know how many chickens you have.