Female, Blackpool

Sexual partners: 1

I was head-over-heels infatuated with a boy from the age of 12 until just a few weeks ago. He was three years older, so understandably had little interest in me at a younger age. But he soon become interested in my strange interest in him, and an unlikely friendship blossomed. We confided in each other for years, and I saw him through his drug problems that never seemed to go away. His life was falling apart, and only in retrospect can I see the impact that had on mine. It was too much for someone my age to have assumed responsibility for. But I think of him often and the effect he’s had on my life. I thank him for teaching me how love feels.



My sexuality is something I’d like to be happier with. By definition I’m bisexual, but it still feels weird to label something so personal to me.

I lost my virginity simply to get it out of the way. I feel as if it’s a social construct made to shame women. The pressure of losing it to someone I actually cared about seemed overwhelming, so at 16 I slept with an *ahem* experienced 19-year-old whom I would never have to see again. Sometimes I regret it, because weirdly enough, I do feel different now. But I’m kind of glad it’s gone. Romance is dead anyway.

Female, England

Sexual partners: 7

My first crush was popular, and I was not; I was chubby, awkward and weird. I felt like I was obsessed. I still find him attractive, but now it’s him who tries to pull me. Swings and roundabouts.

I’m half in a relationship; I’m talking to multiple people, but really there’s only one I want to be with

My first ever kiss was drunken and awkward, but my favourite first kiss with someone was also the best night of my life. We were high and I don’t remember half of it, but I do have the clearest memory of us kissing for the first time outside the supermarket. He’s ignoring me now.

I’m half in a relationship; I’m talking to multiple people, but really there’s only one I want to be with. I sometimes wish things were like the olden days, when everyone courted, or whatever. At least you know where you stood.

Female, Yorkshire

Sexual partners: 2

My first crush was my best friend in primary school. We still keep in touch. I’ve since told him about my infatuation, and he told me that the feeling was mutual. Although I didn’t have feelings for him when he told me, some eight years later, the litle girl in me squealed with excitement, a thought that still makes me smile.

I was with a boyfriend for two years, and I stayed madly in love with him for that period of time. He broke up with me three days ago; he said he no longer felt the same way. It has truly broken my heart – at least I think so. My parents say I’m too young to be heartbroken, too young to know how it feels. I don’t agree, and their lack of support makes me feel lonely at a very difficult time.

I’m not sure if I will get married. The idea scares me. Marriage would be nice, I think, but not essential. A piece of paper doesn’t create a lifelong commitment; love does.

Male, England

Sexual partners: none

I’ve been in love but how much at different times, I don’t know, but as you get older it seems more real. Even though a break-up was something mutually agreed upon it was still heartbreaking and depressing more than anything else. All the things we could have done, all the things I wished I had done.



Strictly speaking, my first kiss with my girlfriend was a quick peck over a kissing gate, but half an hour later we properly made out which I prefer to think of as the first. It was incredible even though it was the first time either of us had done anything like that. It was like floating in a heavenly daze. Honestly the most amazing feeling ever.



Relationships are both amazing and hard – it’s hard with little experience to know what to do, how to be – I guess you should just be yourself but that’s harder than it sounds.

Female, Manchester

Sexual partners: 2

My first heartbreak was a horrible experience: I liked this guy so much, it made me feel sick. If we didn’t speak for a day, I would feel sad to a point where it almost manifested as actual pain. When we fell out and didn’t speak for a few months, I didn’t really know how to function.

As I’ve matured, I’ve taken on the outlook that this person will either be with you for the rest of your life, or it will inevitably end. Both prospects terrify me. So I’d rather stay single. I think I am pretty confident in my sexuality, although I think a more fluid sexuality is accepted now. Like, occasionally I will see a girl I’m attracted to, but I think everyone does – right?

Female, Bath

Sexual partners: none

My first crush? I wouldn’t touch him with a bargepole now. I wouldn’t say I’ve had my heart completely broken, but it’s certainly been tossed around. I’m not the type of person to sit and weep, though: I just get angry. I focus on other things – anything – and realise that I’m gorgeous in my own right. I don’t need a guy to tell me I’m beautiful, because I damned well know it.

All my friends think I’ll be the last to settle down, get married, have a child – and I think that’s true. I want to travel, to live, to be my own person without, in part, being defined by someone else.

Illustration: Cosme Studio

Male, Manchester

Sexual partners: 2

A combination of hormones and friends brought us together, and after nearly six months I feel a glow when I’m with my crush, and a longing when she is gone.

I always assume I am in love, but how can I be sure when I have nothing to compare it with? My first kiss involved too much vodka. My relationship is quite bizzare. We are always connected digitally; we talk nearly 12 hours a day, but when we are together, we are very physical. I would like to get married, but not for a very long time.

Female, Middle East

Sexual partners: none

My first crush was a girl at my school. I’d never seen such a beauty, and I’ve been interested in people before, but she was unique. I always found ways to talk to her, even though I knew she’d never love me back, because she’s straight. Failing to keep her out of my mind is a routine I go through every day.

I haven’t had my first kiss yet, but I plan to. I have been romantically interested in some people, but when I tell them, I face immediate rejection. This is mainly because people are bi- or homophobic. But my heart has an incredible ability to heal.

Male, England

Sexual partners: 3

I can remember very early romantic interests of which nothing ever came. I didn’t have my first proper girlfriend until I was 15. I’m currently in a relationship, with my best friend of four years, and I can say I am in love. We both can. I think telling someone you love them is an important thing, but not as ceremonious as some may think. I would definitely like to have children one day, and probably get married; this is something we’ve discussed. It’s nice to think I might have found “The One” at such a young age.

Female, United Kingdom

Sexual partners: 1

I was very scared when it first came to kissing. I always made sure to brush my teeth

I was very scared when it first came to kissing. I always made sure to chew some minty gum beforehand and brush my teeth. But when it came to my first actual kiss, it was probably the most exhilarating thing and I just lost all of my fears. It took place in a bathroom at my friend’s house (he was having a party). That doesn’t sound very classy, but I’m still with him up to this day. Being in a relationship at the age of 16 is comforting, knowing that you have someone with you, going through the same things.

Male, UK

Sexual partners: none

My first kiss didn’t feel sexual, but more like it signified that the other person trusted me and I trusted them. It was a feeling I won’t let go of for the rest of my life – it was something that lasted mere seconds but felt like forever.



I am unsure whether to say I have been in love. I certainly felt I was after my first relationship. Countless months of tears, loneliness, late nights pondering why she didn’t just talk to me about the problems we had, really put into question whether I was just obsessed with the idea of this girl.

Female, West Yorkshire

Sexual partners: 2

I didn’t know I was gay until I was 14. I realise now that the reason I was so fascinated by my year 8 English teacher was because she was beautiful and ever-so-slightly butch.

My first kiss was with a boy. He kissed me very suddenly, and I couldn’t work out why I hated it. In my first relationship with another girl, I wanted to be the perfect lesbian, so I lied a lot. When she found out, she broke up with me very suddenly, and it hurt.

I love my relationship now. It’s like having a best friend who’s closer to you than anyone else, someone who takes absolute priority because she’s just perfect. She’s cool and pretty and funny. But it’s kind of humiliating to be in a serious adult relationship where your mum still has to drop you off places and give you an allowance.

Female, Philadelphia

Sexual partners: 1 and a half

My first crush and I got pretty serious without ever being in an official relationship. He was my first kiss, he took my virginity, he was my first for a lot of things. It meant a lot to me, but to him I was just another girl; he was just bored. Eventually, he ghosted me and I was really heartbroken for a while.

Now I’m in a relationship with the best guy I could ever ask for, and we’re taking things relatively slow

Now I’m in a relationship with the best guy I could ever ask for, and we’re taking things relatively slow. He’s never been in a relationship before – neither have I, really – so this whole thing is new to both of us; we don’t want to mess it up.

My current boyfriend and I have done sexual things, but we haven’t gotten all the way there. He’s a Christian, so he kinda believes in the whole “no sex before marriage thing”; but in his opinion, if you intend on marrying that person, it’s fine. Although it’s not statistically likely, at the rate we’re going, we could get married in the future.

Female, North Carolina

Sexual partners: 4

My first kiss sucked, literally: it was as if he was trying to suck my soul out. It lasted, like, eight seconds before I pulled away and told him I had to go home. I was grossed out.

I am in an eight-month relationship right now, and I’m beyond happy. It’s unlike anything before. I met him on Instagram after he commented on a meme I had posted. We began talking, which slowly turned into eight-hour phone calls and endless texting. We met six days after we began texting, and he asked me out exactly a week later. Sometimes when I can’t sleep at night I just get so happy thinking about him, thinking about us. I never knew this was possible.

We are about to tour colleges together. I can’t imagine not being with him. I love the comfort I find with him, and I love how we leave our comfort zones together. He is also the only guy who has made me orgasm.

Female, London

Sexual partners: 1

I remember everything as if the memories are accessible on an HD screen. There was a month of not knowing; it was new and exciting, followed by the official question, “Will you go out with me?” in a dark church garden in the biting cold.

I think it’s a shame we met so young, considering the odds are against us lasting. In the middle of March, on a Tuesday, we were hugging in dressing gowns, he came behind and rested his head on my shoulder as we looked into the mirror on his wardrobe. The words “I think I love you” barely escaped his lips and that memory is one I wish I could relive now.

We broke up. And got back together (for 12 hours). And broke up. And got back together.

Female, Germany

Sexual partners: none

My first crush is the one I have now. I don’t know if it’s love, as I’m not really good with these things, and I’m finding it especially difficult as she is a girl and I am too. But she’s beautiful, intelligent and I love listening to what she has to say. I am always amazed at how wonderful she is.



I think I am bisexual because I feel sexual attraction towards both sexes. I’m not in a relationship but I totally despise the idea of marriage. I don’t have anything against people who want to marry, but for me, it’s just a stupid tradition that I don’t need in my life.

Male, London

Sexual partners: 1

My first crush was on my current girlfriend, who’s also 16. We texted nonstop for just under a month before I acknowledged it. As someone who didn’t like many people at school (it was always mutual), it was refreshing to have someone to talk to and share the stress with. It was dizzying. My friends told me to stop talking about her at least twice a day.

Being in a seven-month-long relationship, I feel it’s safe to say that I am in love now. In a word, I’d say being in love is tiring. I get less sleep from late-night texting and calling.

I think young people are the biggest culprits when it comes to exaggerating all things in love and sex (bar musicians). People, myself included, aren’t that complicated; the relationships we have aren’t that complicated, either.

• All stories by Guardian readers

