Milo Ventimiglia is a knee-toucher. As we sat at La Sirena inside the Maritime Hotel, talking about the new, uber tear-jerking ABC drama This Is Us, the very, very, very much-anticipated return ofGilmore Girls, and angsty teen love, the actor gave my knee the occasional friendly tap when emphasizing a point. My inner 16-year-old wondered how I was ever Team Logan, when Jess Mariano was around.

Over a pair of (virgin) Bella Donnas, Ventimiglia discusses crying quiet tears, experiencing the extraordinary passion of Gilmore Girls fans, and why he's not Team Jess―or Team Logan or Dean for that matter...

First, tell me about your new show, 'This Is Us'

It's the hardest thing to explain, but it's the easiest thing to understand. It's a show about family, it's about love and loss and life – ultimately a family that is going through a lot of joy and a lot of heartbreak.

I mean, just from watching the trailer, I cried. I think that everyone cried.

Yeah. I still cry [laughs]. I do, I do. Honestly, I still cry when I see the trailer.

Kathryn Wirsing

Are you a happy crier or …?

Umm I'm a quiet crier. I think I kind of tend to not… I don't want to impose on anyone else and make anyone else emotional or anything. I tend to quietly cry, kind of turn away.

No pressure tears.

No pressure tears, yes. I feel like that's how my father always did it and I feel like maybe as a responsible man it's like I don't want to impose on anyone else so I just kind of quietly turn my back, have a moment, compose myself and then go.

Do you have favorite cry movies or shows that just get you every single time?

Oh God. I'm going to sound odd for saying this but the movie Steel Magnolias used to get me when I was a kid. Oh man, it would really get me [laughs].

So if you had to have a good cry, you're like: 'Steel Magnolias'

But that's the thing, I don't think I really seek to have a good cry. I just kind of … there are just certain things that kind of catches me. But when I was a kid, Steel Magnolias definitely made me cry. Or The Family Man. You know The Family Man with Nick Cage? Dude, that movie ... that will make me cry..

So you worked with Mandy Moore, you worked with a lot of really great people. What was it like on the set?

Fun. Exciting. Inspiring. They are an amazingly talented group of people that I feel everyday lucky to be around. They make me work harder. They are all so naturally talented and gifted– for me, I see what they are doing and think 'oh man, I need to step up my game.'

Kathryn Wirsing

Okay, I have to hit 'Gilmore Girls' cause everyone is freaking out.

Of course, yeah totally. Which is insane. If you watched it originally, way back when. You've never seen….?

I did. I watched it originally and then I binged watch it last year like a casual psychopath.

You did, wow. Trust me, there are people that say to me that they've seen it seven times.

Oh, I'm sure.

I'm like seven times?! How do you see it seven times? That is crazy.

People are really into it. So what was it like returning to the set, getting this opportunity?

It was a little strange but it was also fun. I'd stayed close to Amy Sherman-Palladino and Dan Palladino. When they called and said that they were doing this, I said 'Yup, of course I'll be there. I'll totally be there.' But it's strange to play a character that I've played 13 or 14 years ago. He's kind of the same where we left him. We pick right back up in the same spot.

Are you a fan of Jess?

I think Jess was a cool guy. I liked him. I think I'm different than him but there's also a bit of me in him and a bit of him in me. I think who he turned out to be at the end of the run of his… he tried to be a decent guy and I always appreciated that. For all of his tomfoolery and goofing off. Entertainment in the expense of someone else – he turned out to be a good guy and I just always liked that. I thought that's nice.

So are you team Jess? Team Dean? Team Logan?

You know, I try to stay out of that quarrel. I really do. I don't even like the moniker of having different teams. People ask me my football team and I say like 'I love the NFL.' I just love love. But also I brought up an interesting question–I was at a Comic Con one time and somebody asked me what team I was and I said 'you know, put that to the side… did people ever consider that if Jess is Team Rory?' Maybe not, she broke his heart twice. I think he's on her side because he cares about her but everybody is dying for them to be together and it's like it didn't work. Why force anything? I don't know, I just think people need to wait until November 25th, put away their expectations and hopefully just enjoy what we shot and what came out.

Kathryn Wirsing

Were you a 'Gilmore Girls' fan? Did you watch the show?

I didn't before the show; my mother was a massive fan. Yeah, she was a huge, huge fan. She loved the show. But then of course spending time with everybody on set – I become fans of things sometimes after I've met the people. If they are good people, I'm a fan. If they're not, I'm not. And they're good people so yeah, I was a fan.

For Jess, he has this kind of like broody, maybe unrequited love towards Rory. Did you have anything like that in real life? Angsty teen love?

I'm sure I did. I don't know that I can name any woman from my past that have never worked out. But I'm sure that I absolutely did. I think everybody did.

He was kind of a pill, if we're being serious. In the beginning. And then you learned to love him, which was nice.

Sure. Yeah, but I don't think he was even unrequited. They had their moment and it didn't work. Right?

That's true, that is true. But he, you know ….

[big laugh] But this is the best part. Everyone was like 'but he,' 'but he,' 'no no no wait, but he'…. [laughs] I'm like 'no, it didn't work!' What if you never got that moment of having these four episodes again, right? You'd be like 'that's what happened.'

Kathryn Wirsing

I know that you know what happens, but what did you wish for Jess?

I had no expectations and no wishes and no anything. I literally was like 'this will be fun.' Speak some words, see some great friends of mine. I'm just going to enjoy it. I think there are a lot of fans that … the second show ended and their minds kept wandering down the 'what if' path. My job was over, I stopped. I stopped worrying about where these people were or wondering where these people were. Stories end, the stories end.

So what were the fans like?

Excited. Super excited.

Who are your biggest fans? Are they 'Heroes' fans, are they 'Gilmore Girls' fans?

Early commercial work like Apple Macbook, Cheetos, Mountain Dew commercials. They freak out the most.

...Really?

I'm kidding. It's like people saying like Matthew McConaughey and his Lincoln Navigator ads. Those are kind of rad [imitates]. But I get a mix. It's Heroes, it's Gilmore. Even random other jobs. Twenty-one years I've been in front of the camera now, there's a lot of different parts for people to like and dislike.

So you have this new show but what else? What's next?

You know, I got this show and I'm kind of focusing on that at the moment. I'm sure there's any other couple jobs that I've done a day or five or six on in the last year or two that will pop up and come out. I still produce and direct a bunch of things. I write comic books. There's stuff always happening but I think people are going to be most excited about This is Us.

I'm also very excited about it and Gilmore Girls as a medium kind of fan.

Dude, you're so fucking crazy [laughs].

I really am. I'm trying to hold it in.

You're doing a great job.

Thank you! I try really hard.

Kathryn Wirsing