Good evening Houston, and welcome to the Dangerous Faggot Tour! I am your ringleader, Chief Executive Triggerer, and the aforementioned faggot, Milo Yiannopoulos.

I’d like to congratulate you on no longer being America’s fattest city, how about a round of applause for slimming down a bit?

It might have made sense for me to come to one of America’s most obese cities and talk to you about body positivity, a topic I approach with my trademark sensitivity.

But I’m saving that for Louisiana State on Wednesday. Instead, I want to talk to you about a more serious topic, one that’s captured the attention of American politics: the alternative right, or alt-right.

Now, various media and political figures have tried to define the alt-right, with varying degrees of accuracy, over the past few weeks. Which is to say no accuracy at all.

Hillary Clinton, just before reading out some of my headlines, called the alt-right an “emerging racist ideology.” Of course, she also constantly hallucinates about a “vast right wing conspiracy,” and, when she’s having one of her episodes, a purple unicorn she calls Matilda.

According to Vox, the alt-right is “a movement lurking in Reddit and 4chan threads and in community blogs and forums, a movement of right-wingers who openly argue that democracy is a joke.”

This is typically nonsensical bilge from Vox, given that the alt-right were also apparently responsible for the outcome of the Brexit referendum.

Salon is more succinct. “The alt-right, also known as white nationalism.”

Now, obviously there’s a grain of truth to some of these characterizations.

But, as we’ve come to expect, the media depictions of the alt right are woefully simplistic. Almost everything you read about the alt-right is wrong. It isn’t just white nationalists. Not everyone in the alt-right is like Paul Town. And the movement certainly isn’t led by me — although the media seems determined to crown me its queen.

I can tell which members of the audience are alt-right, because their eyes are starting to twitch at me, the degenerate’s degenerate being called alt-right.

As I told CNBC, something’s not quite right here.

Just to be clear, I don’t consider myself a member of the alt-right. Here are a few of the things I disagree with them on.

Firstly, I quite like Israel. The alt-right is sort of fundamentally hostile to these foreign entanglements that may or may not serve America’s interests, and I’m a fairly unreconstructed Zionist. I don’t expect everyone to agree with that.

I also really like this man [Slide: President George W. Bush]. And I was pro-Iraq [war] and I still am. The alt-right would mostly find that horrifying.

And there’s one last most obvious one… [Slide: Interracial gay porn film]

Of course, to the mainstream media, reporting accurately on the alt-right, and understanding the movement’s nuances instead of just shrieking “RACISTS,” is tantamount to leading the movement.

The media is consumed by virtue-signalling. And yes, by the way, there are racists in the alt-right — but the movement is much bigger than just them.

The left’s motivations in branding the alt-right as skinheads with Twitter accounts are easier to understand when you realise that the left is responsible for creating it in the first place, as I’ll explain in a moment.

The problem is, they’re smearing an entire political generation as racist, and they don’t care who gets hurt in the process.

The inability of the establishment right to decipher the movement is slightly different — they just don’t get it. I don’t think any of the people at National Review are bad people — they just don’t understand what they’re seeing. They don’t get cultural politics, they don’t get Millennial politics, and thus they don’t get the alt-right. The only tools they have to understand the movement are those handed to them by the political left.

I don’t hold grudges against them. Those of them who aren’t senior citizens sexually identify as senior citizens.

The media desperately wants to define the alt-right by the worst 5 percent of its members. They take the genuinely anti-semitic racists — the stormfronters or Stormfags, the 1488ers, the Andrew Auernheimers — and use them to define the whole movement. The left is obsessed by white supremacy, which in reality makes up an infinitesimally small number of people.

I see two primary motivating factors behind the rise of the alt right.

The first is a millennial generation that’s fed up with identity politics and its hypocrisies.

I see old-school conservatives who have had enough of mainstream politicians ignoring their concerns about immigration and cultural politics. I see intellectuals desperate to discuss dangerous, forbidden ideas as the left tries to make the overton window narrower and narrower.

And millennials are proving phenomenally talented at converting their parents, who might be disaffected republicans or tea partiers with Alt-Right thinking. I’m sure a few people in the room have gotten Harambe jokes from their parents and that scares the left to death.

The second is anti-white racism.

Progressives in America today believe that you can’t be racist unless you’re white, or unless you have what they call “prejudice plus power.” This argument, dreamed up in gender and African studies departments, does nothing more than give people an excuse to attack others for their gender, their sexual orientation, or the colour of their skin, in the same way that eugenics gave people an excuse to view others as subhuman nearly a century ago.

Ironically so-called white privilege is the privilege to be discriminated against.

The idea that women and minorities, who have advocates for their special status in every university, every political party, and every media organization don’t have power behind their prejudices is also, frankly, absurd.

Racism is everywhere in America today. So is sexism. It’s in our university faculties.

But it’s not the racism you think.

It’s on the pages of the Washington Post. It’s on the pages of The Guardian. It’s in Hollywood. It’s on MSNBC.

Let me read you some statements which highlight the sort of casual racism and sexism that is deemed acceptable by the establishment today.

“The Beginning Of The End For Angry White Males.”

“Feminists Don’t Hate Men, But It Wouldn’t Matter If We Did.”

“When Whites Just Don’t Get It”

“As A White Man, I’m Surprised More Women Aren’t Tweeting The Hashtag #KillAllWhiteMen”

“Women Should Speak First In Class, Says SMU Professor. Really, Do Men Have To Speak At All?”

These are headlines from The Guardian, The New York Times, The Independent, The National Post, and the Chicago Tribune.

The key question behind all this is: are we going to have identity politics for everyone, or identity politics for no-one?

At the moment, we have identity politics for everyone except white men. If you advocate for men’s issues, The Guardian will call you a misogynist and a sexist. If you advocate for whites, The Guardian and National Review, and everyone else will call you a racist.

Meanwhile, other groups – women, gays, blacks, Muslims – are not only allowed to advocate for their group’s interests, but allowed to be openly racist and sexist towards white men.

When they do so, they receive support from the Silicon Valley’s tech giants, who manage an increasing share of our lives. When a parody group called the Feminist Software Foundation tried to create a browser extension that took all instances of “white men” in articles and changed them to “Jews” — making Guardian articles read like Mein Kampf — the extension was banned from both Chrome and Firefox.

Not for antisemitism, you understand. But for showing the Left up as racists.

I’d prefer we had no identity politics at all and that we judged people, as someone once said, not by the color of their skin but by the content of their character. But if you’re going to have identity politics, you have to have them for everybody.

You might not like the result.

The younger, millennial members of the alt-right are, for the most part, not white nationalists. But they’re being pushed toward racial humor by the progressive left.

The left is responsible for me. The left is responsible for the rise of Donald Trump. The left created the alt-right.

If you’re on the Left, and you’re looking out at the alt-right with horror, and want to destroy it, guess what? You probably can.

Here’s the bad news: your current tactics aren’t working, and are in fact having the opposite of their intended effect. Name-calling, public shaming, and tearing your hair out over Pepe the Frog is simply ineffective and is enlarging the ranks of the troll army every day you continue to do it.

Here’s the good news: there are a few simple things you can do to nuke the movement.

I’m happy to tell you what they are, because I know you’re not going to do any of them.

But I want to you to listen, because I want you to understand how your actions created this phenomenon.

The first thing you have to do is stop being hypocrites.

Double standards are everywhere in coverage of the alt-right. Whenever confronted with a left wing or minority- radical movement, The establishment will wring its hand about addressing the “root causes.” But they accuse anyone who does the same for the alt-right as necessarily endorsing the worsts of its proponents.

Just look at the media’s coverage of Black Lives Matter, and how it gives a pass to horrifying behaviour, behaviour that goes far beyond what the alt-right does on Twitter. Oh, someone with an anime avatar tweeted a racial caricature at you? That’s nice — Black Lives Matter has killed police officers.

And they’re still being championed by the mainstream press. Is it any wonder that people sympathize with the alt-right, when they’re at the losing end of such a blatant double standard?

And again you push older people to the alt-right. Who do you think stopped giving millions of dollars to Mizzou following their Black Lives Matter protests? Here is a hint — it wasn’t jobless gender studies majors, or young engineers whose job was replaced by an H-1B visa holder, it was established donors ranging in age from 40-65.

It’s double standards that are at least in part fuelling the alt-right, and not Donald Trump. If you think the alt-right is going to evaporate with the God Emperor, think again.

The genie is not going back in the bottle. And I don’t care if I just appropriated the culture of some Arab country by saying that, or infringed on a Disney company trademark for that matter.

Here’s one for Hillary Clinton: you gotta stop calling half the country racists.

Establishment columnists argue that responding to racism with racism is wrong, but this is an oversimplification of what’s going on with the alt-right. Not everyone on the alt-right is Andrew Auernheimer.

Others, the millennials in particular, are simply responding to real racism with trolling, as a means to expose the double standard. When the double standard disappears, I expect this “performative racism” if you like, will too.

Performative racism doesn’t mean racism-lite. It means memes. It means jokes. It means 19 year old boys saying stuff to get a reaction.

All of the shekel-clutching about anti-semitism on the internet illustrates this perfectly.

Young people don’t see anti-semitism as any different to racism or sexism. It’s a term robbed of meaning from over-use.

I don’t believe there has been some gigantic, spontaneous outpouring of anti-semitism from 22-year olds in this country. And no one has made that case or explained why it might be. Or even tried to.

What I do see is a lot of young people trying to get a reaction. That’s the Troll Manifesto: find something that a person in power is sensitive about, rightly or wrongly, and joke about it relentlessly until they acknowledge you.

Anyone know who this is?

Edward Rooney is the Dean of students in Ferris Bueller’s Day Off. He’s a cunt. It doesn’t matter that he’s probably in the right that Bueller shouldn’t be dicking around town on a schoolday, but the audience doesn’t care. They want him to lose, and Ferris to win, because Ferris is likeable and Rooney is a cunt.

For some unknown reason, the establishment has decided that the best way to fight the alt-right is to adopt the a rhetoric that sounds exactly like that over-controlling teacher that everyone hates. They are the shouting dad in Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It.” They are Edward Rooney. The alt-right, on the other hand, are the Ferris Buellers of the internet, the merry, likeable pranksters that everyone roots for.

People ask why the alt right has to be so mean and why I make mean remarks about people.

Because it’s fun! And progressives made it fun by finger wagging.

The Left has demonized and censored people who speak about taboo issues respectfully and seriously. NYU didn’t let James Watson speak last week and say what you want about Jared Taylor, he’s certainly has a respectful and serious tone. So if you’re going to get ostracized for having un-PC views no matter how you present them, why not be an asshole about it?

To stop the mayhem, the establishment needs to do one very simple thing: stop punishing people for jokes. Stop punishing people for ideas. And stop other people from doing so as well. The bigger of a taboo you make something, the more attractive it is for young pranksters.

I’m going to read out a quote from early alt-right intellectual, the Jewish entrepreneur and writer Curtis Yarvin:

“If you spend 75 years building a pseudo-religion around anything – an ethnic group, a plaster saint, sexual chastity or the Flying Spaghetti Monster – don’t be surprised when clever 19-year-olds discover that insulting it is now the funniest fucking thing in the world. Because it is”

The establishment has done exactly that. They’ve built a religion around left-wing identity politics, complete with blasphemous words and excommunication. And, surprise surprise, shattering those quasi-religious taboos has become hilarious for a huge section of the youth.

The thing I most hate about the Left is that they want to stop us laughing – to prescribe which jokes are okay and which are not okay to make in public and to draw artificial lines around certain subjects. I find all sorts of inappropriate things funny. Islam, trannies, AIDS.

These are all innately hilarious things. Now and again I even enjoy a good rape joke — especially if I’m the butt of it. Telling me I’m not allowed to laugh at something does not make it unfunny.

If you think the alt-right is exaggerating about the seriousness of some of this stuff, let me introduce you to some victims of political correctness.

There’s Justine Sacco, a marketing executive who in 2013 was the subject of a Gawker (Rest in Peace!) story by Sam Biddle (Rest in Peace!).

Biddle drew attention to a single joke made by Sacco, in which she said she was glad to be white while travelling in Africa, as it meant she wouldn’t catch AIDS. It was actually meant to be a subtle joke about white privilege, but amazingly, this wasn’t properly processed by the towering intellect of Sam Biddle.

Gawker’s story went up while Sacco was flying to South Africa. By the time she landed, she had trended on Twitter, been fired from her job, and had her hotel reservation cancelled to boot. Her life was ruined by a tweet, taken out of context by a rogue Gawker editor. Of course, this would never happen to the hundreds of feminists and black activists who tweet “Kill All White Men” on a daily basis.

Then there’s Will Miller. Will was recently threatened with expulsion by his own university because he exposed a cabal of racists on Facebook, with members across Britain’s elite campuses. His article showed members of the group accusing white people of being “insufferably self important all the time,” telling white users to “shut the fuck up,” and targeting the jobs of people who disagreed with them. Naturally, they also targeted him, sending dozens of emails to his tutors at the University of Cambridge, who of course took the side of the racists against their own student, and threatened him with expulsion. His mistake, you see, was exposing the acceptable racists — anyone who’s not white.

This is Sir Tim Hunt, a British chemist who was working on the cure for cancer before he abruptly became the target of a feminist sting operation.

They deliberately and maliciously took a section of his speech to a room of female South Korean scientists out of context, in which he jokes about women in laboraties “falling in love and crying all the time.” The comment was meant to mock outdated sexist attitudes, but it was presented by feminists as a serious claim on the part of Tim Hunt.

The lie was swallowed by the academic establishment, which forced Hunt to resign from his position at University College London. It took months and months of relentless efforts from conservatives and moderates to clear his name.

Another scientist who ran afoul of the feminist mafia, Matt Taylor’s crime was daring to wear a shirt made for him by a friend, Elly Prizeman. The shirt was considered sexist by media feminists, you see. Hot girls are sexist, apparently.

Despite the fact that Taylor and his team of scientists had just made history by successfully landing a spacecraft onto a speeding comet, the media cruelly and maliciously decided to take their moment of pride away from them by focusing on Taylor’s shirt instead. A giant achievement for mankind took a back seat to the whining of man-hating feminists. Taylor was eventually forced to give a tearful apology on camera.

And these are just three examples. There are countless others. I’ve already mentioned James Watson, disinvited from NYU.

There was also Razib Khan, a geneticist who lost an opportunity at the New York Times over his views on human biodiversity, and now writes for the alt-right Unz Review.

These are the people being driven into the arms of the alt-right by the excesses of the left.

As well as jokes, there’s something else that establishment elites need to stop demonizing as racism: national pride. During the 2015 election in England, a left-wing candidate for parliament called people who fly the English flag “simpletons and casual racists.” And this is nothing compared to some of the things said by university academics about displays of national pride.

The globalist elites, who assemble in places like Dubai, Davos, and whatever unfortunate country hosts the Bilderberg Conference, don’t have a nation.

Whether they’re from Istanbul, London, or Beijing, global elites tend to dress the same, act the same, talk the same, and think the same. They look at what’s different and unique about their home countries, and squirm in embarrassment.

We don’t.

If you want to draw people away from the alt-right, this has to stop. If you want to identify with the jet setting, cosmopolitan, nationless elite, that’s fine. I like being rich and powerful too.

But stop looking down on people who want to stay true to their roots, and remember the national values and traditions that made our progressive, globalized civilization possible. Because for every national flag you take down to replace it with the faceless and sinister logo of the European Union, the International Olympics Committee or the United Nations, ten more will fly upwards in protest.

This is what and who we are.

Leftists will insist that racism underpins national pride, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Most members of the alt-right, even the serious ones, will agree that they want everyone to have national pride, not just western countries.

And they’re right — the instinct for belonging, for a sense of common identity, is universal. The global elite’s foolish quest to suppress this instinct is one of the reasons why the alt right, as well as the populist nationalist right, have gained so much ground so quickly.

Millennials have grasped an issue that the globalists have been ignoring for a long time: that immigrants should come to America from hellholes to better their family, not to turn America into the hellholes they fled from.

If there’s one thing that fuels anti-establishment sensibilities of all kinds, it’s the idea that the truth is being suppressed.

Sometimes the alt-right gets accused of flirting with conspiracy theories. Sometimes they do, mostly with a nod and a wink.

But other times they are right to be suspicious.

Straight white men have been lied to and lied about in this country for decades, whether it’s the wage gap myth or the hysterical witch hunts and kangaroo courts on campuses that police sexual misunderstandings between horny teenagers.

The politically correct establishment suppresses the facts.

Just look at the way the media behaves after a terrorist attack. Witness the desperation with which they avoid mentioning the name and backgrounds of the attackers, who are nearly universally Islamic. That’s if they can be bothered to interrupt an Obama speech to cover terrorist attacks in the first place.

America just suffered three terror attacks in 12 hours this weekend. Hillary couldn’t decide if it was a bombing, Bill de Blasio wouldn’t call it terrorism, and no one other than right-wingers were willing to label it “Islam.” Once again, everyone but the right look ridiculous.

Meanwhile, these are the same people who call white men racists and rapists without any evidence.

The people who are triggered by Pepe continually deny the reality of Islam. In their warped reality, Islamic terror is not necessarily bigotry, but animal memes are.

And, of course there are those truths that are increasingly impossible to ignore. Like the fact that all cultures are not equal. Some are homophobic, anti-semitic. Some, as the German city of Cologne and the English town of Rotherham tragically found out, are rape cultures. And unlike college fraternities, it’s actually real this time.

I am of course referring to the fact of Muslim culture, which as it stands today is utterly incompatible with western liberal values. It amazes me that so many otherwise-sound libertarians and conservatives fail to grasp this simple fact, or brand it racist.

If you want to preserve capitalism, it’s probably unwise to let a million hardline bolsheviks into your communities.

Likewise, if you want to preserve what the Left claims are the best things about western culture — tolerance, women’s rights, gay rights, religious freedom — it’s time to close the door on Muslim immigration. There is no gray area.

Everyone’s heard the old cliche: when you attempt to suppress something, you drive it underground. Well it’s true. But it’s even worse when you drive talented, skilled people underground. Because then they find each other. And they start building a rebel army. Everyone fired from their jobs, or suspended from their university, or kicked off social media becomes another soldier in their ranks.

The alt-right is a cultural rebel army.

You’ve all heard of the overton window — the range of acceptable ideas, words, and thoughts in society. It’s the window that leftists try to narrow, and cultural libertarians try to expand. I posit that there is a second window — the underton window, shall we say, constituting the range of unacceptable ideas, words, and thoughts on society. As the overton window narrows, the underton window broadens. And when the underton window gets bigger than the overton window — well, it’s time for polite society to panic. Because when that happens, polite society starts to get outnumbered.

They’re outnumbered now.

The good news is, the alt-right in its broadest definition isn’t in fact to any degree traditional white nationalists. Those guys are in there, along with intellectuals naturally drawn to taboo subjects, but the American Renaissance types, the Richard Spencers of the world, consider much of the alt-right as it exists today to be “unserious”.

A huge proportion of the alt-right today are Millennials, ranging from teenagers up to the younger members of Generation X. Primarily white, but also consisting of increasing numbers of minorities. Jews fed up with the pro-Islam attitudes of elites. Asians who are now being penalized by affirmative action. Black groups like the Hoteps, fed up with Black Lives Matter.

These aren’t white nationalists — they’re drawn to the alt-right because of the hypocrisies of identity politics, and by the joy breaking the rigid taboos of the establishment. They can be brought back from the brink of white nationalism, but not without serious action from the establishment that hates them.

White males are responsible for everything that the left have advocated for in the past: gay rights, women’s rights, civil rights, tolerance, the abolition of slavery, the establishment of the welfare state, and so on and so on.

They are right to be confused at being named Satan by the progressive left.

So, then. To destroy the alt-right, here is what the establishment must do.

1) Decide whether we want identity politics for everyone, or for no-one. There’s an Anti-Defamation League and an SPLC, but where are their equivalents for white males? No more anti-white racism in universities, the media, and politics. If racism is unacceptable, it must be unacceptable for everyone.

2) Grow a sense of humor and stop ruining young people’s lives over edgy jokes

3) An end to victimhood and grievance culture. Claiming to feel offended is not an argument and doesn’t give you special privileges. (Fuck your feelings.)

4) No more immigration, especially from Muslim countries. (This would destroy my sex life but it would also torpedo the alt-right.)

5) Stop demonising patriotism.

6) No more globalisation.

7) Purge the anime nerds!

8) Stop denying innate gender differences – not everything is a “social construct”

9) No more safe spaces or trigger warnings. Stop pretending facts are “racist” and “sexist” and let people read, write, say and do as they please

10) And end to pointless and expensive foreign wars

11) Criminalise Black Lives Matter

Black Lives Matter is a racist black supremacy group that achieves nothing for black people. Its only achievement is black neighborhoods in ruins. Huge numbers of alt-righters describe themselves as “woken up” by the lies the media told in the Trayvon Martin and Michael Brown cases. To say nothing of the frauds and phonies who run it, one of whom, Shaun King, is a white guy pretending to be black. Creepy!

12) Build the fucking wall!

13) Railing against Pepe the Frog isn’t going to work. Destroying people isn’t going to work — it just drives more talented people to the alt-right.

I’m under no illusions that the left will abandon what have become some of its core operating principles. No longer does the left care about the environment or about the working class as such–occupy Wall St and the Bernie bots were some of the last gasps of that.

What motivates the left now is anti-white hatred, particularly of straight men. Just like Nazis saw Jews behind all their problems, behind every statistical disparity between men and women, between whites and blacks, the left sees a sinister white man.

“Systemic racism and “white privilege” are bullshit, unfalsifiable and bonkers pseudoscientific concepts designed to disempower white men in the societies and civilization they’re primarily responsible for creating.

Unless the left abandons this insane hatred–and as I say, I doubt they will–the alt right will continue to grow, and in the future we can expect to hear more and more about the horrors of cartoon frogs.

Follow Milo Yiannopoulos (@Nero) on Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat. Hear him every Friday on The Milo Yiannopoulos Show. Write to Milo at milo@breitbart.com.