I don’t paraglide, bungee jump or skydive, but I’ve certainly sought out my fair share of terrestrial and oceanic pleasures of the boardsport variety. While skating, surfing and snowboarding each has its own unique je ne sais quoi, none compares to the spine-tingling pleasure of riding a Boosted board.

Full disclosure: I don’t work for Boosted. They didn’t pay me to say sexy things about their product. They didn’t even ask me to write a review. In fact, I’m not someone who normally writes reviews. But this time, I just couldn’t fight the urge.

With those pleasantries out of the way, allow me to grope around in the dark for some words to describe the indescribable experience of riding a Boosted electric skateboard.

For starters, Boosted created a truly top-of-the-line longboard. They use a stunning Loaded deck shaped out of springy, supple bamboo that can really take a pounding. To that, they add smooth, slippery trucks and bright orange super-squishy (80a durometer) Orangatang “In Heat” wheels. (Clearly the wheels are ready to have a good time.) Matching the wheel color to the board’s decals contrasts beautifully with the gorgeous finished wood underbelly and sparkly black grip. Giants fans approve.

Having keenly neglected an important part of my childhood, I started to learn to skate on a $40 Toys’R’Us special only about a year ago. By upgrading to the Boosted, my new ride quite literally swallows up ruts, rocks, acorns, Botts’ dots and all manner of tiny objects that used to pitch this late-30s sk8r n00b right off the nose. To call the ride “smooth” doesn’t do it justice.

When cruising sans power, riding a Boosted feels like gliding around town on a seven-inch-wide yardstick made of butter.

And then, there’s the motor. Or in the case of the Dual and the Dual+ models, the two independent-drive motors. By engaging the clutch and turning a wheel-shaped throttle on a wireless remote with my thumb, power appears literally out of nowhere in a experience that is nothing less than completely magical. The torque — all of which is available from a cold start — packed enough punch to buck me off the board a handful of times before I got the hang of it.

After a half-dozen rides, the Boosted feels as natural as a regular longboard but with Tesla-on-Viagra superpowers.

Those superpowers include, on the Dual+: a 6-mile range, 2000w of power, regenerative braking and the ability to glide effortlessly up — and down — 25% grades. So, at least in theory: I can kick and pump around on the flats, then thrust my way up almost any incline in San Francisco, then apply the regenerative breaks to come down the other side safely. If fully drained, Boosted can be ready for action again in about an hour. At a mere 15 pounds, it’s easy to stash the board in any kind of public (or private) transit, until the next time comes to hit the road.

One downside: it can’t be used during the eight days a year that it rains in California. (A wet Boosted board is not a happy Boosted board.) I would also advise against using it on any other surfaces you would normally avoid on a skateboard, e.g. grass, sand, etc. And I wouldn’t use it for tricks, either. (I kept my $40 kids’ board for that kind of nonsense.)

Another fair warning: the brakes don’t function on a fully charged battery, meaning that you can’t start your ride by taking a big plunge. Some things in life are better when you ease into them.

And . . . if the distinct euphoria that comes from riding a Boosted board lasts longer than four hours — as mine did — you should probably consult a medical professional.

Case in point: on yesterday’s commute, I climbed up the paths of Fort Mason effortlessly and started descending North Point in the bike lane, getting into a nice flow, but still way too much a neophyte to be thinking about anything other than the mechanics of the clutch and throttle. Suddenly, I was distracted by something. What was it that graced my somatosensory cortex? The sensation of a cool breeze blowing through my hair.

At this exact moment I realized I was no longer skateboarding — I was having sex with North Point Street. (That’s right, North Point Street.)

For moments like these I wish the Boosted board would have come with a pack of cigarettes.