Candace Buckner

candace.buckner@indystar.com

He sits on a padded chair after practice with his new team, both legs stretched out before him. Even this state of rest makes Andrew Bynum's knees ache.

He describes the sensation as how he imagines arthritis feels. He feels older than he is and the gray coils, that he refuses to dye black, popping up in his afro are not helping him look like a 26-year-old NBA center who should be entering his prime years.

Though his many knee surgeries and procedures did not scare off the Indiana Pacers from signing Bynum in February – team president of basketball operations Larry Bird phoned Bynum's agent the day the center became available – the damage is permanent. Not long ago, the thought of retirement crossed his mind.

Bynum has sat out the majority of the last two seasons. He never wore a game uniform in Philadelphia during the 2012-13 season. This year, his 24-game stint in Cleveland included expressing his frustration with the team by launching a midcourt shot in practice, mocking an assistant's officiating and a suspension that led to his being traded and released. Here in Indiana, Bynum is still weeks from seeing the court.

This has led fans to wonder what's really up with his knees and critics to ask what's wrong between his ears.

But the Bynum who sits inside Bankers Life Fieldhouse says he now has the drive to get through the pain.

"My motivation is because I want a championship," says Bynum who has been in the league for nine years and won two NBA titles with the Lakers.

"I want to play."

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From the archives:

***

Bynum still looks the part. His white practice uniform clings to his chiseled features while working on post moves with Pacers assistant Popeye Jones after the rest of the team ran 5-on-5 full court.

As sweat drips from his unkempt goatee – his wooly facial hair brings to mind another famous Andrew in town – Bynum looks like a beefier version of the noob selected as the 10th pick of the 2005 draft by the Los Angeles Lakers.

But much has changed since that fresh-faced kid arrived in L.A.

"I'm somewhat surprised and miffed by the rumor mill," says Jim Cleamons, who watched Bynum developed into a "very hard worker" as an assistant under Phil Jackson. "The Andrew that I saw growing in front of my eyes … is not the young man I heard (rumors about) for the last four to five months."

At 7-feet, he certainly has the tools. The toughness taught by big brother Corey Thomas. The agile footwork polished by Kareem Abdul-Jabbar. But he also has the reputation, echoed since his second year in the league and remixed in different cities. Now, criticisms such as disinterested and uncommitted follow along.

But here's the thing about Bynum …

"I don't care what people say because it has no effect on me," he says with a shrug.

Keeping his voice barely above a mumble, Bynum continues.

"They can say whatever they want, but I know if I go out here and put 20 (points) and 10 (rebounds) up, it's quiet," Bynum says. "So, I mean, if that's the case then people will always say something. So if you're worried about that all the time, it gets in the way of you accomplishing the things you want to."

Corey Thomas, however, cares about the perception.

Bynum's big brother still lives in L.A., as does their mother, Janet McCoy. Thomas, 34, remembers the days when he would wait until mom fell asleep in the back room of their Plainsboro, N.J., apartment, then sneak his brother out at night so that they could walk 15 minutes to another complex that had a court with overhead lights.

Thomas knows that before his brother dropped a dollar on jewelry or one of his custom Ferraris, he had a weight room built inside his home and hired a personal trainer out of his own pocket. So, yeah, the belief that Bynum does not have a commitment to basketball and does not work hard enough … Thomas rejects that notion.

"It's just at the end of the day people are going to make up their own mind about you and you can't waste your time worrying what other people think. But for a big brother – I hate it," Thomas says. "I hate hearing some of the things that are said about him. I hate some of the perceptions that are out there."

For Bynum, drafted out of high school and the youngest starter in NBA history, the shaky reputation began after a game in November 2006.

He was just 19 years old. When he could've been a sophomore at the University of Connecticut working toward a degree in engineering, instead he was the starting center for the Lakers. Bynum had always been different. A brainiac obsessed by winning in StarCraft then later building his own PCs that would allow for faster gaming. But, his intellect didn't always match his maturity.

Cleamons, who's now an assistant with the Milwaukee Bucks, remembers how the kid had the Lakers' coaches shaking their heads in staff meetings. Cleamons says that Bynum occasionally blew off morning sessions that were set up for him to learn how to play the post from Abdul-Jabbar.

"Here's the greatest of all time and his job is get you here," Cleamons says. "And you're saying, well, this morning, you didn't get up and eat breakfast, or whatever the excuse may be."

Phil Jackson, who did not care that Bynum was a teenager navigating in a grown-up world, let him have it. Those words from so long ago have remained in the public forum.

"He hasn't been working hard enough to maintain that position," Jackson said in 2006, explaining Bynum's demotion from the starting lineup. "Just a few things got under my skin a little bit, and I didn't think he deserved to continue there."

***

Bynum developed into an All-Star starter in 2012 after Jackson retired, but clashed on occasion with new head coach Mike Brown and the stigma from his earlier years followed him around the league.

In Philadelphia, his personal doctors never cleared him to play but one month after undergoing surgery, cell phone video emerged of Bynum moving his hips and working his knees with flamenco dancers in Madrid, Spain.

"Being in Philly and not being able to play was terrible," Thomas says.

Then in Cleveland, the reputation grew after Bynum was suspended in December before being traded to the Chicago Bulls.

"The situation there just wasn't very good for me," he says.

As with most honeymoons, the Bynum era in Cleveland seemed destined for a happy ending at the start. He signed during the summer and mostly stayed around the city to work with the team's training staff. The hope was that the young mix of talent – point guard Kyrie Irving and No. 1 draft pick Anthony Bennett – along with the veterans could form a playoff-bound team in the feeble Eastern Conference. But after only a few weeks, as the losses piled up, Bynum grew frustrated.

He did not work well under coach Mike Brown's detail-oriented structure. "It's kinda like, if I send you to the grocery store and I give you three choices for peanut butter, you'll probably pick one easily. But if I give you 25 choices, you might stand there for half an hour. Having it be too detailed may not always be the right thing," Bynum says.

Also, Bynum raged against the shoot-first guards. During a practice, Bynum said that he launched a shot from midcourt, clearly out of the rhythm of the offensive play. Another day during a scrimmage, he did not like a call from assistant coach Phil Handy and mocked him as "a horrible referee."

"Those are the two things I did," Bynum says. "I did them on purpose because it was over there for me."

The Cavaliers declined comment.

After Cleveland shipped Bynum away, Lakers center Pau Gasol reached out. Although they did not connect, Gasol understood where his former teammate might have turned south.

"With his years with the Lakers, every player was well under control because of the group and the coaching staff. The coaching staff you had to respect and that's something that not every coach demands or brings to the table," Gasol says. "So, I think it was easier to do when Phil Jackson and his staff was around."

Then, when asked if Brown had provided that same culture for Bynum when he coached in Los Angeles, Gasol responded: "Nah. Not the same."

However, in Indiana, Bynum noticed something he liked. As did the Pacers.

The day Chicago waived Bynum and gave him the rights to pursue another team, Bird reached out to Bynum's representative and expressed the team's high interest. When the sides finally met on Jan. 31, the conversation went so well that Bynum canceled a trip to Miami. Bynum signed with the Pacers the next morning.

"I (had) only been in Indy for a week and certain things are similar," Bynum said while comparing his best years with the Lakers to the Pacers. "The way coaches handle things and how everything is time regimented … It's better, it's more structured. You're here, they do what they need to do with you and then you're out. It's not like something is going on forever. Everything has a plan and you try to stick to it and accomplish it, that's always good."

***

For a guy who has to answer more questions about his bad rep than his drop step, Bynum sure does smile a lot these days.

The powerful, perspiring man has disarmingly soft laughter when he admits that he still wants to be an engineer one day. While his new teammates escaped Indianapolis for the All-Star break, Bynum stayed behind for two- or three-hour sessions of total body lifting, pool work and treadmill running every day. Also, he messed around and built another computer in his spare time.

"It's like toys," Bynum says with a wide smile, describing how it felt when boxes of computer parts arrived at his new residence. "It's like Christmas. So it makes me feel good."

Those good feelings have continued even though his precious Ferrari FF and Ferrari 458 Italia couldn't handle the frigid Indianapolis weather – "It got so cold, they didn't start. It was crazy!" Bynum says. So he shipped both cars back to L.A. and now fits in much better around these parts with a big blue Ford F150.

So, he's happy here. The only thing missing is that 20-and-10 performance. Of course, to do so Bynum would have to get on the floor first, but there's still the issue with you-know-what.

The knees – the set that requires having an orthopedist on speed dial.

"There's nothing really he could do surgically to repair what's already wrong," Thomas says. "It's just grit your teeth and hopefully Monday is better than Sunday. Hopefully Tuesday is better than Monday.

"That's the thing that most people don't see, 'Oh, he doesn't care about the game.' If you're in pain every day, it's really hard to have the same joy that you had at 17 and you were bouncing around and you could run miles with no issues."

The pain can flare up on days such as Wednesday, forcing him to sit out of practice. However, on Thursday, Bynum returned to a simulated practice, running up and down the court in 3-on-3. Bynum has also participated in few 5-on-5 runs.

The team, recognizing that he played in pain in Cleveland, has brought Bynum along slowly, which could mean that he will not make his debut before mid-March. However, the Pacers have not publicly set a timeline.

"I want to make sure he's in really top shape and the situation where he's going to be at his best," Indiana coach Frank Vogel said on Thursday. "The goal is to get him where he's able to play every night.

"That's the plan. We're trying to build up strength in his knee from a preventative standpoint and when he does start playing, he's an every day player for us."

But the question remains for Bynum: Does he truly want to grit his teeth and play? How broken can he stand his body to be at 40 when he's trying to fold into his fast cars? Even back in Cleveland, as he went through hours of rehabilitation almost every day, he wondered if it was worth it for a team on pace for another lottery pick. Retirement at 26 did not seem that far fetched.

"Yeah. My knees hurt. It's not fun playing and having to (freakin') like sit at home and just feel like an old person, you know?" Bynum says. "My niece or nephew, they just want jump on me and play around and (stuff) but I got to be worried about something instead of just doing that, and that gets a little frustrating sometimes.

"Obviously, when I'm not playing, I tend to feel better because I'm not doing anything."

It is moments of pure honesty like this that has deepened the divide between Bynum and his detractors. He still carries baggage filled with "ifs."

If he's healthy.

If he's committed.

If he gets with the program.

In spite of the doubts from others, there's an elixir for Bynum's banged-up knees and tattered reputation.

And he found it in Indiana.

"Here," Bynum says. "The atmosphere is just winning.

"I've been in the game now for nine years, so these are definitely my prime years and like I said, that's why I'm confident and I feel like it's like riding a bike. I can just come back – I know what to do. I know what it takes to get here. I know what I have to do to be able to be productive and it's just a matter of doing it."

Call Star reporter Candace Buckner at (317) 444-6121. Follow her on Twitter: @CandaceDBuckner.