Hey kiddies it’s a new year, which means it’s time for me to get back to reviewing Star Trek: The Animated Series. Today, I’ll be bringing you a review of season one’s fourteenth episode, “The Eye of the Beholder”, AKA The One With the Adorable Elephant Slugs. Out of all the episodes I’ve seen so far, this has been one of my favorites. Mostly because the alien of the week is so freaking cute you just wanna hug ’em and love ’em and squeeze ’em and call ’em George.

The episode starts in a familiar way with Captain Kirk making a log entry as they orbit the planet Lactra VII. A six member Federation science team has gone missing and it’s up to Kirk and the gang to figure where the heck they went. Are they alive, dead, eaten by wild animals? Nobody knows, but Kirk is going to find out. Several members of the crew beam aboard the science team’s abandoned starship to see if they can find out anything. We open with a scene in the conference room with Kirk and company gathered around a screen watching a log entry made by a Lt. Cmdr. Markel (the senior officer in charge, I suppose) who has decided to take what’s left of his team and go search for some missing science officers even though it was against orders. McCoy quips, “His need was apparently desperate.” Well ya think? Kirk shoots back that the captain of a ship, no matter his actual rank, must go by the book. I snorted out loud at that one. Kirk’s M.O. seems to be taking the ‘book’ and throwing it right out the window when he feels like it. Grumping that Lt. Cmdr. Markel didn’t follow the rules is like the pot calling the kettle black. Spock reminds Kirk that following the rules seems to be something that humans are incapable of, which nets a grumpy “You are such a stick in the mud” -type statement from McCoy. “Bones… dude. Chill.” says Kirk.

He then asks Spock what’s the deal with Lactra VII, which is a class M planet with Earth-normal gravity. Nobody seems to know much about it and the only information they have is that which the survey crew logged before they disappeared six weeks previous. Well, five weeks, three days, two hours and four minutes…if you wanna be precise about it. Which Spock does. Spock refuses to speculate what kind of life forms, if any, inhabit the planet until Mr. Arex finishes his sensor sweeps. Screw that, says Kirk. It’s going to take too long to do a comprehensive scan so he wants to take a landing party down to the surface to look for the missing scientists. Bones is shocked, but I’m not buying it. More likely he’s thinking “Oh geez, here we go again.” Because charging in on a white horse is what Kirk does best…tally ho, my good men. Those scientists may be alive and gosh darn it, Kirk is GOING to find out one way or the other.

As they get ready to beam down, Scotty tells them that Arex has found a variety of life forms on the planet, although he hasn’t found any big groups or anything that looks like a city. Kirk shrugs it off and orders him to transport them down to the surface. Scotty puts them down near what appears to be some kind of hot spring… the perfect place for a vacation if you’re on R and R. But unfortunately, they don’t have time for that. They’ve got six missing Federation scientists to look for. Spock remarks that these lakes are remarkable when Kirk pokes him. “Uh…” he says, pointing off to one side. There’s a lake monster, similar to something we’ve seen before. And it’s coming right at them, teeth gnashing, one eye fixed on them like it wants to eat them for lunch. Even with all three of them trying to stun it at once, it doesn’t do anything but make the lake monster pissed off. The monster dives beneath the surface and Kirk and company make their exit.

A bit later, Kirk tries to contact the missing crew (whose ship is named the Ariel… which makes me think of rebellious red headed mermaids). All he gets is static though. Apparently the static means something though and our brave band charges off in search of the crew of the Ariel. But upon reaching what appears to be an interesting rock formation, they run into another alien monster. This one resembles a dinosaur and roars at them, wanting to attack them. Kirk tries to stun it, but it doesn’t do any good. The creature absorbs the phaser energy. Kirk, Spock and McCoy all try to stun it but this just makes it mad and they are forced to make a run for it. Apparently their phasers did some good though as we see the creature clutch dramatically at its neck before hitting the dirt. While Kirk and Spock managed to escape, McCoy somehow managed to get stuck under the things enormous tail and all we see is his legs sticking out, waving rather comically. And although Kirk and Spock are both shoving on the tail, neither one of them can budge it. Spock says there must be a more logical solution, such as digging the doctor out instead of trying to lift the tail off. Meanwhile, McCoy is still kicking his legs frantically as he tries to escape. Finally they do get him out, much to McCoy’s relief. But they need to get out of there and get back on the trail of the missing Ariel crew members.

As they walk along, Spock remarks that the beast which fell on McCoy seems… oh I don’t know. Familiar. Like something they encountered before, perhaps on Canopus III or something. But Canopus III is light years from Lactra VII. Perhaps, says Kirk, it’s similar because the desert they just happen to be traversing right now is similar to the desert region on Canopus III. Spock seems to scoff at this, as well at McCoy’s lack of interest (he’s more interested in getting the sand out of his boots). The next thing we see is McCoy saying that whatever they’ve come upon is more friendly than the desert they just crossed. And everybody is standing on their heads. I assume, at this point, it’s supposed to be a reflection in a pool of water but it’s just really bizarre. Spock is surprised at the diverse ecologies they’ve managed to come upon so far in their exploration of the planet. Of course, they have seen stranger things before. The camera pulls back to reveal that yes, the upside-downness of Kirk, Spock and McCoy was a reflection in a pool of water since they’re now in what appears to be some sort of tropical jungle. Doesn’t make it any less weird of an effect though. Kirk radios the Enterprise and Scotty tells him there is a large concentration of life forms nearly 100 kilometers to the north east. Maybe that’s where the missing scientists are. Better go check it out.

Spock scans the water in front of them and declares it to be incredibly pure. TOO pure in fact. McCoy grumps that it tastes just fine and Spock reminds him that it is way, way too pure to be a natural phenomena. He seems kind of annoyed by the fact that there is a rainforest next to a desert. According to him, what they’ve experienced so far is manufactured, not created (I love that phrase..”Manufactured, not created.” Made me go “Bwuh?” at first).

“Well duh. Terraforming isn’t exactly NEW, Spock.” McCoy tells him. But terraforming usually follows a pattern… unless the random choice of environments IS the pattern. Spock and McCoy begin to bicker and Kirk begs them to break it up because dammit, they’ve got WORK to do. They don’t have time to stand around all day sniping at each other.

Just then, Spock points out some flapping bat creatures (again… we’ve seen these before. On the planet with the sentient plants, if I’m not mistaken) which are headed straight for them. They attempt to stun the bat things, but it doesn’t stun them. It only drives them away, which McCoy thinks is kind of odd. Spock starts to make an observation about this, but before he can really get anything out, they’re all grabbed by a three fingered tentacle of some sort. The tentacle, it turns out, is attached to a large red and pink slug. Oh my freaking Bob, these are the cutest aliens ever since the Tribble was first introduced. D’aaww…they captured the landing party. ISN’T THAT THE CUTEST THING EVER?

The slugs move off, carrying the members of the Enterprise crew like prized trophies before them. McCoy states they’ve been moving for hours and they STILL have no idea where they’re going. Kirk thinks they’re headed towards the city that Scotty told them about. Maybe they’ll find the missing Ariel scientists there. Suddenly a large pink city, like a puddle of Pepto Bismol, comes into view and Spock remarks what incredible builders they must be. The slug aliens place Kirk, Spock and McCoy into a purple cave-like cage. McCoy grumps that they don’t seem too interested in communicating, only staring at them like caged animals. Heeey….doesn’t this seem an awful lot like the plot of “The Menagerie” way back in season one of TOS?

McCoy speculates that the aliens are trying to see if they are A) free of harmful bacteria and B) intelligent. Spock congratulates him on his logic… you can almost see him wanting to do a slow hand clap but instead he just raises an eyebrow. Kirk says that the force field keeping them contained SEEMS harmless enough, but then so do the bars of a jail unless you’re the one on the inside. He starts yelling but Spock tells him to knock it off. HE has come to the conclusion that the aliens have some kind of telepathy, since he’s been picking up impressions of them mentally. Only there’s a problem… the aliens think too fast for Spock to understand anything but the most fleeting images. And what’s worse, they are as advanced beyond Earth civilization as humans are advanced beyond a colony of ordinary ants. Spock goes on to speculate that these aliens are collectors who seem to be running some sort of crazy zoo, since the things that attacked them seem to come from planets other than Lactra VII. He goes on to state that they probably took their phasers and communicators away in the same way you’d take a knife from a small child…to keep them from hurting themselves.

As they stand there jawing, one of the aliens reappears and snags McCoy, who immediately starts putting up a fuss. Spock and Kirk are grabbed too and Kirk yells that they HAVE to communicate with them. Spock just seems resigned to his fate and hangs there, waiting to see what happens next. As they pass several other cages containing a variety of life forms, McCoy mutters, “So much for mythology.” But I’m left shaking my head… what the hell is THAT supposed to mean? And Spock says he finds them strangely attractive. Next thing you know he’ll be reading slug porn… if such a thing exists. Eeeew.

The aliens shove Kirk, Spock and McCoy onto a walkway surrounded by a grassy area, complete with some kind of fruit tree. Apparently, it’s another cage because there’s a force field keeping them from leaving. When McCoy comments on the real grass, Spock says “Duh. They made this cage just for us.”.

Just as McCoy says he’s not some kind of animal to be put in a zoo, up walks Lt. Cmdr. Markel and one of the other missing scientists, a biologist named Randi Bryce. Kirk introduces his team members as he ogles Bryce’s generous chest. Mrrow. Hey, good looking what are YOU doing later? Wanna go snuggle by the orange tree? Hmm. Markel says that they heard their communicator signal which leads McCoy to splutter his outrage that they didn’t warn them about the slug aliens. Bryce says she couldn’t warn them because the aliens keep messing with their equipment, leading Spock to ask where they keep the equipment. Markel informs Kirk that three of the members of the missing party of six have died and one of them is running a high fever they can’t do anything about. McCoy volunteers to check her out though without his medkit it’s unclear how much he’ll be able to do for her. Markel says they’ve tried to escape with no success and they’ve tried to communicate. But all the aliens do is sit there and stare and quiver at them.

Spock closes his eyes and tries to make telepathic contact but he can’t seem to get through somehow. This causes the aliens to quiver back and forth in a very cute sort of way. Spock thinks they’re laughing at him. Markel doesn’t find this situation too funny though. Kirk wants to find the others… he feels a need for human (and by human, I assume he means female) companionship. But they’re all inside the ‘house’ while McCoy tries to cure the sick team member who is lying prone in bed looking all sickly and pathetic. Kirk asks some more questions about the Lactrans–the ones outside seem to be guards to make sure they don’t hurt themselves and they bring food and supplies once a week to make sure their pets don’t’ starve themselves. Maybe, just maybe, they can get them to give them back their toys … er… I mean medical supplies. Spock encourages the doctor to think about how the medkit would help keep them healthy and McCoy obligingly closes his eyes. However, he looks more constipated than serene.

The Lactrans bring them a bowl of fruit, but Markel remarks, “Heeey it’s not feeding time!”. Kirk thinks that the Lactrans sensed a need and interpreted it as food, so maybe they should all think REALLY hard about getting that medkit back. Cue a shot of Spock closing his eyes, looking serene while the others look like they’re waiting to be shot or something. Apparently it works though because one of the Lactrans hands the needed medical kit to McCoy who goes off to treat the sick woman. Markel comments that the Lactrans seem to want them alive and well since they’re such interesting creatures to keep confined. Kirk decides they HAVE to get out, so he’s going to concentrate on finding a weak spot in the force field. Maybe they can break out that way.

The next scene shows several Lactrans peering in at the humans, like interested patrons watching the gorillas in the monkey house at the zoo. Kirk wants to learn from them, but Markel says they can’t. Bryce asks if Vulcans are telepathic, which they are to a degree. But apparently the Lactrans are far, far too smart for him. He’s learned a little about them though, mostly that the baby Lactrans find them frightening. Some of them find the humans really freaking ugly. McCoy is worried that Scotty’s gonna bring down an invasion force but Kirk tells him that he ordered Scotty NOT to attempt a rescue under any conditions. So the Enterprise is gonna sit there, waiting. Perhaps forever. However, because they can pick up on specific thought transmissions from the humans, Spock thinks that one person should appear to be ill while the others think REALLY hard about getting their communicators back. That ought to convince the Lactrans… maybe.

Kirk falls to the ground as if he’s ill while the others stand around him, thinking REALLY REALLY hard about that communicator. One of the baby Lactrans rolls his eyes and then slithers over to drop the communicator at Kirk’s side. Kirk opens his eyes warily before flipping open the communicator to call Scotty. Unfortunately, that’s the wrong move as the baby snatches the thing back from Kirk just as he orders Scotty to beam them aboard. Scotty tries… but ends up beaming up the baby Lactran instead. Spock says the adults are worried about the baby.

“Well I’m worried about my freaking ship.” Kirk shoots back.

Spock goes on to say that they think KIRK made the baby disappear and that they had no idea they were a deadly species. McCoy insists they not stand there, they need to DO something. Now.

Suddenly Kirk screams and falls over. The Lactrans are in his head, asking what happened to their child. Spock implores the captain to fight back as hard as he can, because if he doesn’t, he’s gonna go crazy. The Lactrans think too quickly in too complex a manner for humans to really even comprehend.

Meanwhile back on the Enterprise, Scotty comes out of the turbo lift with the baby Lactran in tow. M’Ress asks him what the heck he’s doing.

“I think he’s harmless, but how the hell should I know?” says Scotty, with the baby’s tentacle wrapped around his waist. I can’t tell if Scotty’s leading him or if he’s shoving poor Scotty ahead of him. Scotty tries to talk to him, but of course the baby can’t talk. Well, not in words anyway. He asks if he can’t talk, what can he do, and the baby starts punching buttons which leaves Scotty understandably alarmed.

Back on the planet, Spock says that the Lactrans have decided they can’t break through Kirk’s mental discipline on a one to one basis so they’re going to get together and have several of them think at Kirk to try and break him instead. Uh oh. He tells everybody to concentrate on the good Captain, who surely can’t hold out against five determined Lactrans thinking at him so hard. But before they can shred his mind into confetti, Scotty beams down with the baby at his side. The adults rush in to check him over, to make sure the big bad humans didn’t hurt their widdle prewshus bubbykums. Spock asks if Scotty made contact with the baby and he insists that the baby made contact with HIM. The baby may be only six years old but he’s got an I.Q. in the thousands. It sucked all the engineering knowledge about the Enterprise right out of Scotty’s head. Somehow though, Scotty managed to convince it he wasn’t some kind of pet and that he needed to rescue his crewmen. The Lactrans try to contact Spock again and he says they think so fast it’s difficult to make out what they want. But apparently they are grateful for the return of their child, so they’re going to let them go, because they don’t belong in the zoo.

The Enterprise beams them up and once back on board, Markel complains that as a scientific survey team they learned almost nothing. Nothing except… to stay away from Lactra VII, says Kirk. They’ll be welcome back… in thirty centuries… once they’ve caught up.

I really liked this episode, despite the fact that it was practically “The Menagerie” all over again. The only real difference is in that the Lactrans (unlike the Talosians) didn’t seem cruel or malicious, just kind of big and goofy, and they obviously meant well. Plus they’re cute and they don’t have a look about them that inspires nightmares the way the Talosians did in “The Menagerie”. I think they could’ve even marketed a stuffed baby Lactran because they were just that cute.

Next time, I’ll be taking a look at episode fifteen, “Jihad”, in which Kirk goes off to retrieve a stolen religious relic.