Holland find their level

Holland seriously over-achieved back there at the World Cup, fortunate to see off Mexico and Costa Rica, and flattered by the astonishing capitulations of Spain and Brazil, two teams signally unable to cope with absurd expectation. Now it’s the turn of the oranje to buckle under the pressure of artificially high hope. A middling team, no better, no worse, they’ve now lost away to both of their main rivals for automatic Euro 2016 qualification. Hardly a surprise, especially given the form of Iceland over the past 12 months, so Robin van Persie is quite correct to insist that critics of “fantastic coach” Guus Hiddink pipe down. The Dutch have plenty of time to turn their campaign round and Hiddink has the international CV, even if he’s no longer flavour of the month like his predecessor, Louis van Gaal (three major semi-finals to one, if we’re making facile comparisons). But even if Holland can’t overhaul the Icelanders and Czechs at home, there’s always third place and the play-offs. Without that safety net, Holland would actually be in a spot of proper bother right now, and we’d have one hell of a group on our hands. But it’s there, and they aren’t, not yet, so we don’t. Chalk up another success for Michel Platini and the glorious forward-thinking apparatchiks of Uefa! Scott Murray

They couldn’t do it … could they?

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Kyle Lafferty, footballer, celebrates after scoring against Greece. Photograph: Andreas Papakonstantinou/Demotix/Corbis

Sure, Uefa’s scheme to give the big boys every chance to make a frightful hash of things might make life awfully easy for the Dutch and their ilk but it has also given the perennial non-qualifiers a sniff of the big time and, in the case of teams from these lonely isles, it seems to have given them a fair old rocket. Miracles seem to be occurring all over the shop: Scotland are doing at the very least a decent impression of an organised football team rather than an incoherent rabble, the Republic of Ireland emerged from the shadow of Roy Keane’s book launch to produce two splendid results, including a draw with a troublingly bereft-looking Germany, while Northern Ireland’s manager, Michael O’Neill, appears to have made Kyle Lafferty into something approaching a footballer. O’Neill’s men have arguably been the most impressive team of the whole qualification period so far, having earned their third win on the bounce with the 2-0 victory over Greece, the first time in their history that they have won their opening trio of qualifiers. “We wouldn’t have expected to win our first three games but I had a good feeling about this one,” O’Neill said. “I said to the players if we had six points after four games we’d probably be relatively pleased, now it’s nine from three.” They couldn’t actually qualify … could they? In a group with no real stand-out team, they genuinely could. Nick Miller

Fatih Terim wobbles in Turkey

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Turkey’s coach Fatih Terim reacts during their Euro 2016 Group A qualifying soccer match against Czech Republic in Istanbu. Photograph: Murad Sezer/Reuters

Things just haven’t been going right for Fatih Terim. In the buildup to these latest qualifiers six players withdrew from the Turkey squad through injury, including both Galatasaray’s Burak Yilmaz and Mustafa Pektemek of Besiktas, their two principal strikers. It was the last thing Terim needed, Turkey’s 3-0 defeat in Reykjavik in their first qualifier having put him and his charges under increasing pressure.

Despite the injuries they dominated much of both matches, at home to the Czech Republic and away in Latvia, and created enough chances to have won both with some comfort. Terim could easily have ended the week with six points and his ears ringing with the praise of a grateful nation, but instead they missed their chances, or were frustrated by the goalkeepers – with Petr Cech in particular outstanding. The Czechs won 2-1, while thanks to a penalty Latvia got away with a 1-1 draw.

Word was that Terim would have lost his job had the Turks got nothing out of that second match, and that his preparations for it included totally losing his rag at his team while on the plane to Riga, accusing them of conceding “idiotic goals” and ordering each of them to “defend like a man”. Hurriyet reported on Tuesday that Terim and Yildirim Demiroren, head of the Turkish FA, were facing fresh calls to resign. On the plus side, Turkey are yet to play the whipping boys of Group A. They’re due to visit Holland in March. Simon Burnton

1958, 1976, 2016

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Garrincha skins Welsh defender Mel Hopkins during the World Cup quarter-final in 1958. Photograph: Staff/AFP/Getty Images

Wales, we keep hearing, have only ever qualified for the final stages of a major tournament once, the World Cup back in 1958. That this fact is always thrown in coupons Cymraeg seems somewhat unfair, given that it’s built on a technicality: the Welsh got through the qualifying groups of Euro 1976 to make the quarter finals – it’s not their fault Uefa couldn’t be bothered to make a show of their premier tournament until the semi-final stage back then. Either way, 38 years is a long time without a decent tilt at the Euros. Wales have found several ways of shooting themselves in the foot in major championship qualification since then, so their almighty struggle against Cyprus, a self-inflicted poser, might actually stand them in good stead for Euro 2016, giving the team a little extra belief: results can be ground out, scrapes can be escaped, and things need not necessarily fall apart yet again. And that midfield engine of Aaron Ramsey and Joe Allen are set to come back, too. Top of the group, and Belgium – who haven’t won qualification themselves for the Euros since 1984 – don’t pose so many threats that the Welsh shouldn’t dream of staying there. SM

Italy fail to shine in Malta

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Italy’s Leonardo Bonucci receives a red card during the clash with Malta. Photograph: MATTHEW MIRABELLI/AFP/Getty Images

“It’s a result that should boost our confidence and our morale,” trilled Antonio Conte, after Italy limped to a manifestly uninspiring 1-0 win over Malta despite having an extra man for fully 45 minutes. “Since the disaster of the World Cup we’ve played four matches in a month and a half and won the lot, but we could have done more tonight. We’re not in a good place – if we were I wouldn’t be here. We have to keep working, and hard. After everything that happened at the World Cup, did you think I’d have sorted everything out in a month and a half?”

He certainly hasn’t, with Italy labouring even between the 28th-minute red card shown to diminutive former Coventry City frontman Michael Mifsud – by which time Graziano Pellè had already scored what would prove the game’s only goal – and Leonardo Bonucci’s 73rd-minute equalising early bath. Perhaps the Italians just have some kind of issue with the Maltese, having been scarcely more impressive when winning 2-0 there in a World Cup qualifier last March, when the home side missed a first-half penalty (Mifsud again responsible) and also hit the bar (Mifsud once more). Mifsud’s punishment on Monday seemed particularly harsh and interestingly the referee who made both decisions, Romania’s Ovidiu Hategan, generally and unusually seems to favour away teams, having awarded them 62% of penalties and only 30% of red cards over 51 international or continental matches. SB

Further reading

Winners and losers

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Michel Platini, getting carried away and having another idea. Photograph: Wiktor Dabkowski/dpa/Corbis

Winners ... Us!: Under normal circumstances, if you gave Uefa a brewery, a touring rugby team and an atmosphere of jovial bonhomie, they would somehow manage to organise a quiet lemon and wheatgrass tasting session along with a lecture on the proper use of paperclips. However, much like the old stopped clock of proverbial legend even the most slavish adherents to buffoonery and incompetence get things right occasionally, and Michel Platini’s fabled “week of football”, instinctively mocked when it was proposed, has actually turned out to be rather good. Rather than a full international programme being thrown at our faces like a pair of giant custard pies over two nights, we were invited to enjoy the feast of football over six, allowing us to spark up a cigar, kick back and take it all in. If this was the usual force-feed, with the majority of attention inevitably directed at an England team that fewer and fewer people actually care about, we perhaps would not have been able to fully appreciate Northern Ireland’s win, or Iceland besting Holland, or Spain being given a hoying by Slovakia. So well done Michel. Good work. Just don’t for a minute think this means you know what you’re doing. NM

Losers ... Asia: Having qualified for the past five World Cups Japan can hardly be defined as no-hopers, but their 4-0 demolition at the hands of Brazil was part of an overwhelmingly one-sided day of friendlies between Asian teams and South Americans on Tuesday. What with Oman losing 3-0 to Uruguay and Hong Kong going down 7-0 to Argentina, it added up to a 14-0 aggregate mauling of the home sides before, later in the day, China beat a horribly out-of-sorts, two-wins-in-14 Paraguay 2-1. Even Central America got in on the act, with Costa Rica – officially the world’s best international side (and given recent results not even Germany can quibble) having now gone 11 matches unbeaten – thumping South Korea 3-1.

It was certainly a week for star strikers to embellish their stardom: Luis Suárez scored twice for Uruguay, Lionel Messi came off the bench to grab a couple for Argentina, and Neymar scored every one of Brazil’s foursome against Japan, leaving him with 40 international goals. He was 62 days older than Pelé was when he reached that mark, but three years younger than Ronaldo. Neymar’s goalscoring record with Brazil – his 40 goals have come in 58 matches – is remarkable, and barring injuries he seems more than capable of overhauling Pelé’s mark of 77, especially if his FA keeps scheduling helpful friendlies. SB

Roy Hodgson, and by extrapolation Raheem Sterling, England and Liverpool Hodgson made a proactive, modern decision in leaving a strength-sapped teenager out of his starting line-up against Estonia. The player then came on, helped to win the game, and went back to his club in one piece. Everybody’s happy. Replenishing isotonic beverages all round to celebrate a job well done! Would it have been too much to ask Roy to leave it there? SM

It’s stat time again ...

OptaJohan (@OptaJohan) 2 – Hiddink lost as many competitive games in his 2nd reign with Oranje (W1, L2) as Van Gaal in his entire two periods (W20, D5, L2). Rough.

MisterChip (English) (@MisterChiping) HKG 0-7 ARG (FT') - Messi scored the FIRST brace by a substitute in Argentina national team history

Infostrada Sports (@InfostradaLive) For the 2nd time ever and the first time in 95 years, Brazil and Argentina both win by at least a 4-goal margin on same day (11 May 1919).

OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) 3 - Wales have managed just three clean sheets in their last 22 matches. Porous.

MisterChip (English) (@MisterChiping) Brazilian National team all time scoring list; [77] Pelé [62] Ronaldo [55] Romário [48] Zico [40] NEYMAR [39] Bebeto

Best images

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Serbia’s Stefan Mitrovic grabs a flag with Albanian national symbols flown by a remotely operated drone that sparked chaos in Belgrade. Photograph: ANDREJ ISAKOVIC/AFP/Getty Images

Facebook Twitter Pinterest ...chaos on the pitch with fans... Photograph: ANDREJ ISAKOVIC/AFP/Getty Images

Facebook Twitter Pinterest ...chaos on the pitch with players... Photograph: ALEXA STANKOVIC/AFP/Getty Images

Facebook Twitter Pinterest ...and chaos in the stands. Photograph: Cropix/SIPA/REX

Facebook Twitter Pinterest The Argentina squad receive some attention as they arrive at Hong Kong International Airport. Photograph: Xaume Olleros/AFP/Getty Images

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Not only did John O’Shea score for Ireland, he saved Stephen Ward from certain doom. Photograph: Wolfgang Rattay/Reuters

And finally ...

John Guidetti and chums celebrate.

For one night only, schadenfreude became a Swedish word. In a qualifier for the European Under-21 Championships in Halmstad, France were trailing 3-0 on the night, 3-2 on aggregate to the Swedes, when the French defender Layvin Kurzawa popped up to bag a goal that he thought would take them through to the finals on away goals. Kurzawa celebrated in the only manner appropriate – with staggering arrogance and hubris, touring the opposition players to taunt them with a strange salute celebration as he contemplated the victory that was surely about to be secured. Alas, a couple of minutes later Oscar Lewicki popped up to score for the Swedes, thus securing a 4-3 aggregate victory and leaving the French with all manner of oeuf on their visages. Of course, the victorious Swedes returned the favour to Kurzawa, and then some. Lesson: don’t count your chickens. Or, if you must count your chickens, do it quietly and not in a manner that will make you look completely stupid if something entirely plausible happens to change the situation. NM