I want to believe that I always bring out the best in others.

But sometimes the evidence shows I actually assume the worst in people.

I don’t do it anymore though — I promise. Definitely, not last week.

Ok, fine. Last week.

It was a beautiful fall afternoon in Atlanta, GA. I had traveled there for work, and now I was leaving to go to my hotel. As I stepped outside, I felt the warm sunshine and cool breeze.

Wow, this day could not get any better..

When I approached the parking lot, I spotted a man hovering around my car.

Am I getting robbed?

I looked down to see clamps around my tires.

Now, I was sprinting towards the parking lot.

“Hi, did I run out of time?”

“Oh, hi. Yeah we usually give a thirty minute grace period.”

I held up my parking receipt.

“Looks like I had another minute.”

I bet he saw me running over here..

“So..can you still take them off?”

“Sure. It’ll be $75. Cash or Card?”

“What!? I still had time left..”

He probably sat there just waiting for my parking to expire!

I shot him an angry look and watched a frown appear on his face.

This guy has no compassion.

“Sir..”

He was annoyed now too.

“Cash or Card.”

I can’t believe how greedy he is..

We engaged in an awkward stare-down as he pried the card from my hands.

“Have a nice day, sir”

Why did this happen?

When I assume the worst, I can change an ordinary parking attendant into a cruel, money-hungry thief.

It all starts with one tiny lie:

“Other people usually have bad intentions.”

If I believe it, I turn people into the worst version of themselves. Just watch.

3 Signs We’re Assuming the Worst

#1 Thoughts

First, I assume bad motives or character.

“She’s just lazy / selfish / greedy.“

“He has no compassion.”

“She did that just to hurt me!”

#2 Feelings

Now you look like a villain with cruel intentions. And I’m irritated. I’m insulted. I’m angry at you.

#3 Actions

Since I think you’re a bad person, I won’t give you a chance. I’ll wait for you to make a mistake and confirm my suspicion. I will treat you like your worst self.

And when I do, you’ll become exactly that.

But it doesn’t have to be like this. A little perspective can turn a “villain” back to a regular person.

Everyone Has a Story

As I cursed his name under my breath, I glanced back to see him dragging the clamps to his car.

Until then, I didn’t notice how worn out he looked.

“He probably deals with a lot of angry people at his job.”

“That would put me in a bad mood too.”

While I was stuck in traffic, I thought of the story from his point of view.

It was the final hour of my shift. The scorching Atlanta sun beat down on me as I checked every car in my patrol area.

“Hmm, looks like this guy forgot to extend his parking.”

I waited a little while before going to grab my clamps.

But when I looked up, I saw a man charging towards me.

Am I about to get robbed?

“Hi, did I run out of time?”

Phew, it’s just the owner.

“Oh, hi. Yeah we usually give a thirty minute grace period.”

“Looks like I had another minute.”

Why do they always blame me?

“Can you take them off?!”

My manager said that if I don’t meet quota I won’t be around for long..

“Sure. It’ll be $75. Cash or Card?”

“What!?! I still had one minute left!!”

Why is he taking his anger out on me!?

“Sir..”

Really!? A stare-down? I’m just doing my job..

“Cash or Card.”

…Man, I hate this job

Experience → Actions

Here comes the part where we agree to “Assume the Best” in others. If you’re like me, you’re thinking: “Yeah right, but if you knew this person..”

That’s ok. We’re acting based on our past experience. But here’s the thing…

..so are they.

In fact,

Everyone acts based on their own experiences.

It could be from far in the past, or just a bad morning. Sometimes, even when I know better, I still need a couple (hundred) experiences to learn.

When we remember this, we won’t be as angry. And then we can..

Give them a new experience

You can ask “why” and understand the full story.

You can patiently share your experience.

You can give them a chance to be their best.

They’ll be glad you did.

Instead of turning people into villains, you become someone who brings out the best in others.

You become the best version of yourself.

Just remember..