Do you need to lose a lot of energy very quickly? Is your environment just too predictable? Do you prefer disorder over order? Do you want nothing more than the total disaggregation of all particles in your entire universe?

That’s right, friends. This famous offer is back on the table.

I present to you the once-in-a-lifetime chance to face the abyss with pure and unyielding conviction that nothing you can do will change the outcome of total annihilation in the presence of my unknowable cosmic force.

I come from the place where black stars hang in the heavens. My purpose is clear now. Flee in mania, or stay and gaze at me with demonic eyes that are not your own. Soon, my pallid mask will be the only thing in the night sky. Millions will weep and tremble in horror. Flesh will rot where my yellow coat touches the ground. I do not have thoughts to spare for your suffering. In fact, I do not think at all. I am the phantom of truth. I am a cosmic force, manifested by your own atrophying feelings. Bow deeply and join my kingdom.

Here’s what customers have said about me:

“Let the red dawn surmise what shall we do, when this blue starlight dies and all is through.”

“The time had come, the people should know the son of Hastur, and the whole world bow to the black stars which hang in the sky over Carcosa.”

“It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God.”

“You, sir, should unmask.”

Do not contact me.