Every respectable superhero must have a secret identity, because there's nothing more heroic than lying to everyone you know. We've pointed out how transparently stupid these disguises tend to be , and yet superheroes still go to extreme lengths to protect their secret identities with some incredibly bold lies. Oh, did we say bold? We meant stupid. Incredibly, incredibly stupid lies. Like the time ...

6 Batman Hires a Deaf Blind Man to Impersonate Him

World's Finest #39/DC Comics

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

In World's Finest #39, the improbably named detective author J.J. Jason decides that for kicks he wants to find out who Batman is. He comes up with a diabolical scheme that had us readers on the edge of our seats, which involved inviting Batman over for supper and then conversing with him to get clues to his identity.

World's Finest #39/DC Comics

"If he starts farting I'll know he's lactose intolerant!"

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

After spending the night studying Batman's appearance and mannerisms, Jason comes to the earth-shattering conclusion that Batman is a rich guy who's in pretty good shape so he can only be Bruce Wayne, which means Gotham is either in a huge economic slump or every other millionaire in town is an obese little troll.

World's Finest #39/DC Comics

J.J. Jason employing the most dangerous superpower of all -- basic logic.

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

Not able to just sit at home giggling to himself about how he figured out Batman's identity, Jason decides to make the now-common mistake of gloating in the face of a man who he knows spends his nights breaking people's spines. What will Batman do now? Well, the next day Jason shows up at Wayne Manor only to find Bruce Wayne and Batman together at the same time!