An open letter to Radio Stations in December,

Enough is enough. As you are aware the Christian Church is currently preparing for the celebration of our annual commemoration of the Incarnation of God, in the person of Jesus Christ. This feast is commonly known as Christmas. As part of our preparation we are encouraged to join in a penitential guard of expectation known as Advent. In Advent we anamnetically join with the people of God who awaited the advent of the Christ in the Old Testament and join in the cry of “maranatha” raised by the Church throughout the ages as they turn their hope toward the eschatological fulfillment of the Kingdom of God initiated in the paschal mystery of Christ.

All of this has become very difficult, however, as you have polluted our airwaves with anthems of consumer driven winter choruses, 24 hours a day. There are few refrains as well calculated to shake me from my vigilant hope for a participatory incorporation into the perichoresis of God, as “Baby it’s cold outside.” Similarly songs like “Santa Baby” and “I want a hippopotamus for Christmas” seem to be deliberately orchestrated formulations with the sole aim of shaking the Church’s hope in the eminent perousia of the Christ.

I know you are probably unaware of your complicit participation in this degradation of Advent, sometimes called little Lent. So I write this to offer a number of alternative broadcast selections.

OPTION 1: PLAY ADVENT MUSIC

This would be my preferred option. There are a great number of tunes that reflect the penitential expectation of the season. Most famously one could start each hour off with “Oh come oh come Immanuel” and then move into any number of other songs. Try “let all mortal flesh keep silent” sometime or perhaps the “Carol of the Advent.” If you really want to spice things up I highly recommend the Byzantine chant. I find that “Canticle nine” and the “Song of St. Symeon” do a great job of getting me into the spirit of the holiday season.

Take Exhibit A as an example of what I’m talking about:

OPTION 2: PLAY GOOD CHRISTMAS MUSIC

If you find that you absolutely NEED to play Christmas music during Advent, please try to play some good stuff. There is a huge backlog of fantastic compostions that have been recorded and are available at very affordable prices. There is absolutely no reason you need to resort to broadcasting the latest re-imagined monstrosity of “All I Want For Christmas Is You”.

You could, for example play this fine recording of Handel’s Messiah. It’s a traditional Christmas song, but fits well into the season of Advent:

OPTION 3: PLAY CRAP WELL

If you absolutely need to play the ridiculous songs about Santa, presents, northern hemispheric weather patterns, and the upcoming transition of the Gregorian ephemeris into its abutting solar cycle, please play versions of these songs which have been recorded in such a way that the reflect the solemnity and dignity of the season.

I offer exhibit C as an exploratory offering of “Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer:”