Shellie and Randi Ruge have been married for more than 13 years. Years into their marriage, their commitment to each other would be put to an unexpected challenge.

“Five years ago, Randi came to me after a trip to Lake Powell. And I knew something was very wrong because Randi was calling me and tearful,” Shellie explains, “so she came back and said we have to have a talk and that’s when she told me she is transgender.”

Randi adds: “And I think, too, it’s important to know at this point, I was 47 years old, and I had come to the point that I needed to transition. Everything was on the line for me, and I came to her.”

Shellie concludes by summing up her experience of having a transgender partner: “There were moments that were very difficult and there were moments that I felt the loss and there were moments that I really grieved it from the bottom of my heart. And I will always miss aspects of Randy the man, that’s just the reality. But there are so many things I love about Randi the woman. But it is a process, it is a process. Capital letters.”

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