This is part of the “being a girl in nyc” series by Gracie and I for our Community Group at Liberty Church. These posts are based solely on our own thoughts, opinions, and experiences.

Friendship With the Opposite Sex

I knew this was a topic I needed to include in this series. This is probably one of the most often debated subject in circles discussing boundaries. I decided to do a little research on pinterest before writing the post.

There are literally hundreds of posts about “Guy Best Friends.”

Some reasons for having a guy best friend include:

• Less Drama

• Guys aren’t afraid to laugh • They are more honest • They are more loyal • They won’t tell anyone your secrets

• They won’t try to steal the guy you like

• They will give you your sweatshirt when you’re cold

This is my best friend – that is a girl. Guess what … She is

• Less Drama

• She isn’t afraid to laugh • She is honest • She is loyal • She wont tell anyone my secrets

• She won’t try to steal the guy I like

• She gave me her sweatshirt when I was cold (and a beanie! see photo)

**Bonus – We can borrow each others heels and clothes when going out.

While I continued to read Pinterest, I realized a few things.

1. Most girls were hoping that their “friend” would fall in love with them.

2. Most girls wanted a “guy friend” that really acted much like a boyfriend.

3. Most girls had been hurt by another girl and created trust issues.

So… Do I think that a girl should have a best “guy friend.” Someone she shares all her secrets with. A guy that she can laugh with, go on adventures, trust, even borrow his sweatshirts. Yes, I absolutely do! He can also be called – Your Husband.

wait for it… some of you are offended.

I get it, I really do. In college I had several “guy best friends.” No one was better at justifying why it was so much better to have guys as your best friends. I even lived with 5 guys and nothing further than friendship happened. However, I remained single. I also had several issues when it came to trusting girls and guys that I would date.

I honestly think that having a “guy best friend” is a band-aid. It is a quick fix to some bigger problems. Why is it that you can’t trust girls? Do you need to forgive some people? Are you making friends that are trust worthy?

I strongly believe that for a healthy relationship to flourish between you and a guy – you need to create some REAL boundaries between you and your “guy best friend.” I don’t believe that you should process things emotionally with the opposite sex. I believe that it is unhealthy and will just create a bigger problem down the road.

Let’s say – best case scenario – you do meet someone and end up together while having a “guy best friend.” I promise you – someone is going to end up hurt in this scenario. Either your new guy will struggle with comparison – wondering why you don’t talk to him about things, why there is someone in the middle of your relationship, and constantly wondering if you or him liked or like each other. OR – you “guy best friend” that you care so deeply about will feel both abandoned and replaced.

So, my challenge to you – go make some girl best friends. Yes, this may be scary. Yes, it is worth it.

If you have questions about setting boundaries, or where to meet great girl best friends – feel free to email me. Info@freelybe.org

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What are your thoughts on being best friends with a guy?