I recently published a novel, and now it’s time to get back to work. If you’re anything like me, figuring out what to write next can be a real hassle. A flashy and experimental brain-bender, or a pointillist examination of the dissolution of a typical American family? ­Generation-spanning door-stopper or claustrophobic psychological sketch? Buncha novellas with a minor character in common? To make things easier, I modified my dartboard a few years ago. Now, when I’m overwhelmed by the untold stories out there, I head down to the basement, throw a dart and see where it lands. Try it for yourself!

Encyclopedic Have you ever thought, There is a system that rules our culture, and this system also determines interaction on the individual level, and I have come up with a metaphor that describes both manifestations, and can provide many examples? If so, you may be postmodern, or postmodern-curious. E. M. Foster said, “Only connect,” and Lauryn Hill seconded him, maintaining that “everything is everything.” They aren’t postmodernists, but that’s the beauty of the postmodern — it’s not what it is, it’s what you say it is.

Realism Take this test. When you read “These dishes have been sitting in the sink for days,” do you think (a) This is an indicator of my inner weather, or (b) Why don’t they do the dishes? Does the phrase “I’m going as far away from here as my broken transmission will get me, and then I’ll take it from there” make you think (a) Somebody understands me, or (b) Why don’t they stay and talk it out? What is more visually appealing, (a) a Pall Mall butt floating in a coffee mug, or (b) those new Pop Art place mats in the Crate & Barrel catalog? If you answered (a), do we have a genre for you.

Recommended for: The rumpled, drinky.

Ist Simply add -ist to any oddball or unlikely root word, and run with it. You’d be surprised.