Opinion

Great news: Mexico offers to pay for Trump’s impeachment

(This is a work of satire) Marking a potentially big turnaround in rocky U.S.-Mexico relations, Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto on Wednesday offered to pay for President Trump’s impeachment. (This is a work of satire) Marking a potentially big turnaround in rocky U.S.-Mexico relations, Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto on Wednesday offered to pay for President Trump’s impeachment. Photo: Matthew Busch/Getty Images Photo: Matthew Busch/Getty Images Image 1 of / 50 Caption Close Great news: Mexico offers to pay for Trump’s impeachment 1 / 50 Back to Gallery

Editor's Note: This is a work of satire

Marking a potentially big turnaround in rocky U.S.-Mexico relations, Mexican President Enrique Peña Nieto on Wednesday offered to pay for President Trump's impeachment instead of a $21.6 billion border wall separating the two nations.

"We would pay for the 'whole enchilada,'" Peña Nieto told reporters on the steps of the National Palace in Mexico City. "Impeachment is far cheaper than a border wall, and frankly, no one will want an expensive border wall after Trump's gone, anyway."

Budget deficit hawks and even some GOP leaders welcomed Peña Nieto's offer, which comes amid growing calls for Trump's impeachment for his part in a series of scandals that has rocked Washington and plunged the White House into chaos.

"While the cost of impeachment is just a drop in the bucket of the multi-trillion dollar federal budget, every little bit helps," said Sen. John McCain, effusively praising the Mexican financial offer at a news conference. "And it's time to get this idiot out of office anyway."

The Trump administration, for its part, expressed doubt that Mexico would actually come up with the money. "Given that our free-loading southern neighbor already stiffed us on paying for the wall, Mexico has zero credibility in the eyes of this administration and, I think you'd all agree, with the American people as well," White House spokesman Sean Spicer told reporters at a press briefing today. "Next question?"

Allegations of wrongdoing intensified this week with reports that Trump asked former FBI director James Comey to end a criminal probe into former national security advisor, Michael Flynn, triggering accusations Trump may have obstructed justice, a potentially impeachable offense. The Justice Department then appointed a special prosecutor to investigate the Trump campaign's alleged meddling and missteps, amid reports the president leaked highly classified information to Russian spies in the Oval Office last week.

The GOP has indicated it would not include money for Trump's border wall in its fiscal 2017 budget, and the Department of Homeland Security has estimated that the 1,250 mile series of walls and fences pushed by Trump would cost as much as $21.6 billion. In contrast, the most recent U.S. impeachment, of former President Clinton, added up to about $80 million, according to the Congressional Budget Office.

Mexico's timely offer could bring a much-needed thaw in U.S.-Mexico relations, which iced up after Trump's insistence — during the 2016 presidential campaign — that America's southern neighbor bear the full cost of a wall to block out Mexican rapists, murderers and drug pushers. Mexico's refusal to pay prompted Trump to threaten to retaliate with a border tax on Mexican imports to cover the wall's cost.

While Trump's impeachment would cost far less than a 1,250 mile wall, Peña Nieto said paying for the former would achieve a similar result: removing a huge thorn in Mexico's side.

"If Trump goes away, then he can't bother us anymore about paying for a wall. So we achieve the intended result at far lower cost," Peña Nieto pointed out.

If you enjoyed this satire, David Kalish is the author of an award-winning comedic novel, The Opposite of Everything, a tongue-in-cheek twist on what happened when his marriage and health went bad at the same time. His essay, "A Path to Fatherhood, With Morning Sickness," appeared in The New York Times, as a Modern Love column.