I grew up with a pro-choice mum, and discussing reproductive rights in women only spaces. I never considered my personal relationship to these conversations, it bore no relevance to my sexual life.

At my first job where I didn’t disclose, I was pleasantly surprised to learn that cishet men discussed their (past and current) partners accessing abortions. I listened, validating the difficulty in respecting and/or supporting their partner’s decision to abort, and so on.

One lunch hour, the guys are discussing the abortions of current girlfriends, when one of them points me out and asks, “how many times has one of your girlfriends had an abortion?”

Deer caught in headlight.

“Zero.”

Their jaws drop.

“None??”

I couldn’t conceive of lying and saying 1. So I stuck to the truth: none.

“You’re that consistent with safer sex??”

I want to laugh. I mean to practice safer sex all the time, but being a flawed human being, I don’t always manage. But here we are, when I fine myself saying, “Yup.”