The Non-Drinker’s Guide to the Professional Drinking Culture

“Oh, we didn’t invite you ‘cause we knew you didn’t drink.”



Growing up in a Muslim society, my surroundings were pretty alcohol-free. Drinks were non-alcoholic unless otherwise noted, and I didn’t know any bars except the ones in restaurants. There was no pressure to drink and I never gave a second thought about the fact I didn’t.



I moved to the United States to study design at 21. That’s a big-deal age in America, but I didn’t find any appeal in drinking. Perhaps being so far away from home made me hold on to my non-drinking beliefs even more strongly.



However, I felt out of place amongst my peers. For most of them, an ideal wind-down after an exhausting class would be to grab a few beers. My mentors would often joke about beer as an acceptable currency for design favors. I would usually laugh along, but secretly I worried about fitting in.



I didn’t know what to do when an invitation to “grab a beer” came my way. I typically declined it, unsure of the expectations of bars. I would start with, “Oh, I don’t drink…” and the conversation would end. But just like that, I unintentionally checked the box, “Never ask me this again.”



As I continued in my career, I found drinking to be a crucial part of networking. Casual design events are favorably held in bars where it’s common to pick up a drink for some liquid courage. Many office “perks” that get brought up in interviews are company activities that revolve around drinking; beer carts, happy hours, etc. It felt strange to be a creative who doesn’t drink. It somehow felt expected as part of our “creative process.”



“Oh, we didn’t invite you ’cause we knew you didn’t drink.”



One day, a coworker at an agency I was at said these words to me, but it was in the way that surprised me – he was apologetic. He was… considerate. That’s when I realized that, although he didn’t say it out loud, his tone implied a follow-up question: “But do you want to come and hang out anyway?”



In the same way I had assumed I was shamed for not drinking, having said no to drinks led people to think that I didn’t appreciate being invited (which was completely untrue). How many of these quiet invitations have I missed?



I stood there for a moment, and finally asked, “Where are you all headed?”



Tip #1: Say yes to going, even if it’s no to drinking

Accepting an invite will always be received positively, and when getting to know your team, it’s always great to lower any tension. If you’re seemingly ducking out of every social opportunity, the message comes across as you would rather not be bothered, no matter how untrue it is.



It took me a while to get used to the idea of going to a bar. I always pictured a kinda sticky, dingy place with loud music that you had to yell over. (Thanks, movies.) But there are also so many cool places that I would’ve missed out on had I continued declining invitations.



Tip #2: Have a fun drink that’s not a soda

Drinks don’t have to be alcoholic for them to be fun. Why buy a soda that you can get literally anywhere else? (Unless you really like soda.) Bartenders are highly knowledgeable in making really good drinks, even without alcohol.



These drinks are great conversation starters. I’ve gotten some really fun drinks that tasted great, and some not so, but that’s ok. It’s still really fun to talk about a drink that you’ve never tried before and the conversation usually flows easily from there.



Tip #3: The professional drinking culture is about being yourself

Whether it’s with your team or at a networking event, people want to get to know you. Not only are you an expert at what you do, you also bring a unique perspective that adds a new dynamic to any conversation.



Many were genuinely curious about my non-drinking. No judgment, no assumptions; they simply wanted to hear my perspective and experiences. This unexpectedly became a great time to express myself and share my thoughts. And most importantly, a really great time to make strong connections with my peers.



“Hey, I wanted to tell you that you, as a non-drinker, have made me feel less pressured to drink at events. I notice I’m drinking less, because I want to drink less, and I think it’s because I have a friend doing it with me.”





Ruzanna Rozman is a product designer for Alchemy, a P&G company in Cincinnati, Ohio. Along with not drinking alcohol, she also doesn’t drink coffee. How is she a real person? Who knows. Find her on Twitter or Instagram, she’s always happy to see new faces on the internet.



Painting used in this issue: Hip, Hip, Hurrah! by Peder Severin Krøyer