The good people at Morrison & Foerster could abbreviate their name to “Morrison” or “Foerster” or even “M&F.” That’s what most Biglaw firms would do. But Morrison & Foerster morphs into “MoFo,” and these MoFo-ers just embrace it. They recruit with it. For a group of lawyers, they’re positively laid-back.

But we didn’t know that they were this laid-back. Tucked away in the otherwise mind-numbingly boring “Financial Services Report: Spring 2014” are two full paragraphs of weed jokes. Drug talk! In a quarterly report! What the hell is going on with these motherf***ers?

The editor’s note in this financial services report was written by partner William Stern (and definitely NOT written by David Brooks):

Just as we were going to press, FinCEN issued Guidance to Financial Institutions on Marijuana Businesses. It was chill. Them dudes are goonin, yo. Then someone’s like, “Maui kapowie!, we gotta issue a Client Alert or something,” and we’re all like, “yeah,” and I’m like, “oh wow, what? Did you see the roach?” And suddenly it was like, 2:30 a.m., and we’re all wanting Hostess Ding Dongs except the Quik-Mart is closed. What was I saying? Oh yeah, stuff happened this quarter. For one, there was the East Coast blizzard. I’m talking about the final Volcker Rule, which weighs in at 71 pages with an 882-page preamble; you could give yourself a hernia just lifting it or, instead, you could click on our Volcker Rule “User’s Guide.” Speaking of “User’s Guide,” we have one that you will need if you want to understand all of the new mortgage rules that were inaugurated in January 2014. Also, the Bureau killed some pretty good buzz this quarter, which we report in the Bureau Report. There were lots of Beltway, Privacy and TCPA developments too. All of which we report in these pages. And then some. Until next time, go for the purple sticky buds, but pass on the bong swat.

I know I shouldn’t get the freaking vapors about Biglaw lawyers with personality… but OMG, Biglaw lawyers with personality! I’m gonna need to sit down for second. Ten points to Gryffindor!

Of course, any financial services lawyer knows that it’s not the lawyers who need to chillax, it’s their damn high-strung clients. Maybe next quarter, the editor can share a recipe for some lovely “client brownies” to make everybody’s life easier.

Financial Services Report: Spring 2014 [Morrison & Foerster]

Earlier: Qui Tam: On-Campus Interviewing