(Picture: Erin Aniker for Metro.co.uk)

There are a number of things couples should share as relationships grow older and stronger. Love, trust, and responsibility are just a few.

But you know what I think shouldn’t be added to the list? Bank accounts.

I don’t believe couples should feel pressured to share a bank account. I believe people should feel entitled to keep their money separate from their relationship, without being judged for it.

I’m all for joint accounts when it comes to keeping things such as rent and bills in order. If you’ve got a child, a joint account is necessary. And wedding funds are made easier if you’re both contributing into one shared account.




What I’m talking about is shared accounts that aren’t used for essentials. Accounts that contain all of the money combined between one couple, ready for spending on whatever.

Despite being someone who’s in a long-term relationship, I refuse to open this type of account with my partner – and I believe I’ll always feel this way.

I don’t want to share an account with my partner because I feel my money should stay as just that – my money.

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Call me selfish, but I work hard for my money, and I should be able to spend it on what I like without worrying about how it’s going to benefit anyone else – after my adult responsibilities such as paying for a roof over my head have been sorted, of course.

And my partner is entitled to do so too.

If my partner was needed a little bit of money to tide him over after a late pay day, I’m happy to help out. And I’m more than okay with paying for a meal out without awkwardly splitting the bill down to the last alcoholic drink, and vice versa. But I feel having my own bank account makes my relationship feel fairer.

My partner and I are on different wages. There’s not too much of a big difference between us, but there’s a difference nonetheless.

Should we open a bank account together, one of us would be adding more to the account than the other. And even if we were to transfer the same amount, one of us would be left with less in our current account than the other.

I know this would bother me.

When it comes to my relationship, money is kept out of the equation. It’s not that we don’t talk about it, but it doesn’t take up much importance during conversation.

But I’m sure that if every time I opened my online bank account I saw how much was left in a shared account, this would change.

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

I feel money would become a massive presence in our relationship. We’d start noticing the difference between how much we’re financially able to add to that account, which I fear would turn into an argument over how much we’re financially contributing to the relationship.



That’s really not something I want to add to any potential relationship woes.

I worry that opening a shared bank account would encourage frustration over what my partner and I are spending. That’s not something I want to risk.

I get it, money shouldn’t affect a relationship. At least, that’s what many people believe. But I beg to differ.

Money makes up a big part of any long-term relationship, especially if you live together, if you’re married, if you have kids or even have pets.

Money is a large contributing factor to a secure relationship. Nobody wants to feel as though they’re financially supporting the relationship more than the other. Nobody wants to worry that there’s a ‘bread winner’ in the relationship.

I believe having separate accounts helps to remove these worries. At least, it prevents you from rubbing your money in each other’s faces.

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Though I’m very happy in my relationship, I’m a realist. Things happen and relationships end, sometimes when you least expect it.

Should my relationship end, I’d like to know that money wouldn’t be an important topic of conversation during a breakup. We should be able to part ways without arguing about how much money either of us should be able to take away with us.

I know these beliefs won’t be the same for everyone, and I’d never judge anyone for wanting to open a bank account with their partner. But people shouldn’t judge my decisions, either.


There have been times where the seriousness of my relationship has been questioned simply because I want to keep my finances to myself. I’ve been told I’m selfish for not wanting to share my money on a regular basis.

I love my partner, I trust my partner, and if we were ever in a time of struggle I would do anything I could to make it better.

But until that day comes, I think I’ll keep my current funds – and every form of savings account – separate.

This article is part of Money Month, our month-long series of features, advice, and experiences about our tricky relationship with all things money.

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