A new poll shows Britons are weighed down with regret over novels they haven’t found ‘time and patience’ for. Why do we shame ourselves over entertainment?

Is there something in the human soul that makes us want to castigate ourselves for not having read the books we feel we should have? A couple of years back, Amazon gave us a “bucket list of books to create a well-read life” (or at least to make us feel bad about not having read anywhere near enough of them). Last week, Sian Cain laid herself bare by admitting she hasn’t read Ulysses (nor have I, although I own two copies, which surely puts me a little closer to the goal of completing it).

This week, YouGov tells us that only 4% of Brits have read War and Peace, although 14% wish they had; 3% have read Les Misérables, although 10% want to; and 7% have read Moby-Dick, with 8% aiming to.

The survey of 1,664 British adults was intended to discover the “19th-century classic novels British people say they would most like to read if they had the time and the patience”. Oliver Twist was the most popular classic on the list, read by 21% of respondents, with Pride and Prejudice and Little Women both at 15%.

The list has, it’d be fair to say, irritated a few authors – including our own Stephen King expert James Smythe, who took issue with YouGov’s description of its lineup as books people would read if they had “the patience”. “Saying that patience is needed to read those books both demeans the books, and suggests that you’re not mentally able to read them … Here’s a novel thought: stop acting like a book is a mountain. Start acting like they’re a thing people read for fun, in their free time,” wrote Smythe on Twitter.

James Smythe (@jpsmythe) We really need to stop making people feel stupid because they haven't read certain things deemed classics. Nonsense. Read what you like.

Novelist Sarah Perry agreed with Smythe – but added that “equally readers shouldn’t avoid anything BECAUSE it’s a ‘classic’ y’know? It’s all just books.” “More people would read eg Tristram Shandy if its reputation did not precede it. ‘You’ll ROAR with laughter, it’s a right old laugh’ is a much more accurate and compelling line than ‘oo you really should’,” tweeted Perry, before proposing a repackaging campaign for the classics to “strip them of their supposed prestige” and actually get people reading them.

Sarah Perry (@SarahGPerry) TITUS ANDRONICUS "OMG srsly it's like REALLY disturbed" THERESE RAQUIN "DRIPPING. WITH. LUST." TALE OF TWO CITIES "Waargh such a romp"

Sarah Perry (@SarahGPerry) I mean haven't we all been there? <halfway through Moby Dick or whatever> "Wait. This is....this is like a REALLY GOOD BOOK." *baffled face*

Author Sophie Hannah joined in:

Sophie Hannah (@sophiehannahCB1) @SarahGPerry Wuthering Heights: Fifty Shades meets Location, Location

(Incidentally, I reread Wuthering Heights for the first time in years over Christmas, after being swept up by Alison Case’s excellent repositioning of the story, Nelly Dean. I still loved it, but reading it as an adult rather than a teenager … oof, it’s crazy.)

Do the classics need a rebrand? I think Pulp! The Classics’ new looks for The Metamorphosis (tagline: “Change really bugged him”) and Alice in Wonderland (tagline: “This cupcake was off her head!”) are brilliant. I know exactly what Perry means about embarking on a book you feel you ought to read – and then realising that, hang on, maybe it’s a classic because it’s good, not because it’s hard. I did precisely that with War and Peace; giving it a crack because I felt I should, and then being startled to discover that it was actually fun. Not a trial at all.

I’ve read half of the books on the list. Some I loved. Some I hated. I feel I should have read them all – and that there’s something lacking in me for not appreciating the ones I didn’t like. But I’m going to leave off the guilt this time because Smythe is right: books aren’t austere endurance tests. We are meant to enjoy them, as well as to be enriched and educated and challenged by them. That goes double for the classics.

And with that in mind, instead of upping my poll kudos by embarking on one of the many classics I haven’t read, I think it’s time I gave Anna Karenina another try. I loathed it as a teenager, but was very much caught up in disliking Anna as a character. I’m interested to see what I’ll make of it as a 36-year-old. I’ll let you know how I get on – and how, once finished, I’d rebrand it.

How many on the list have you read? Do you feel pressured to read certain books?