The idea of a U.S. President saying the Army captured airports during the Revolutionary War isn’t just bizarre, it’s a great opportunity for comedy, and Twitter is wasting no time with its latest trending hashtag, #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories.

“Our Army manned the [unintelligible], it rammed the ramparts, it took over airports, it did everything it had to do and at Ft. McHenry under the rocket’s red glare had nothing but victory. When dawn came, the star-spangled banner waved defiant.”

Faulty teleprompter or not, it was those words from a prepared speech that sparked a wave of head-scratching and mockery across the internet. Using the tone of a Ken Burns Civil War documentary, Twitter users concocted stories of Revolutionary War heroes writing home to their loved ones and telling them about their experiences with 20th century technology in the 1700s.

My dearest,

This will likely be my last text for awhile. My iphone has only 10% battery power & Benedict Arnold has infected all the airport charging stations with Russian spyware. Farewell my love, I'll text you when I can find a new power source. #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories — Kelly ツ (@kellwoohoo) July 5, 2019

Abigail, it's hot as hell in Philadelphia. My desire for a quick trip to Boston is thwarted by a connecting flight through Atlanta. It's as if the world has turned upside down. Yours, John. #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories — Diane@hpochocolate1 (@hpochocolate1) July 5, 2019

You are now free to move about the colonies. #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories — Bill (@SurLaColline) July 5, 2019

Little known fact: if Paul Revere didn’t do TSA Precheck, he would not have been able to get so quickly through checkout and warn that the British was coming. #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories — Damian Ayers (@Talented_Xth) July 5, 2019

#RevolutionaryWarAirportStories

Little-Known Fact: We won because so many British soldiers couldn't fit their muskets in the overhead bin on their flights over. — ReallyDon'tTrump (@reallyDontTrump) July 5, 2019

Dearest, the battle for gate C4 was hard fought, but we prevailed. Alas, we ran out of ammunition, and had to lob our stores of Cinnabons at them. The sacrifices of war try our souls. #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories — Diane@hpochocolate1 (@hpochocolate1) July 5, 2019

Francis Scott Key calls the airline and asks, "Oh, say. Can you see if there's an earlier flight?"#RevolutionaryWarAirports #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories — Scott Eric Alt (@ScottEricAlt) July 5, 2019

Dearest Martha: Our retreat from Manhattan after the battle against General Howe was ensured by a providential fog with which He saw fit to deliver. The Almighty has also seen fit that said fog has grounded Howe's tacair units at LaGuardia.#RevolutionaryWarAirportStories — Rick Wilson (@TheRickWilson) July 5, 2019

“Give me Liberty, or give me a larger bag of peanuts.” – Patrick Henry #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories pic.twitter.com/jB3cNglV2e — Rick (@DidntSayRichard) July 5, 2019

We hold these truths to be self evident: that all seats must be returned to their original upright and locked position, and that your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. #RevolutionaryWarAirportStories — Cheeto Meltdown (@tomjuarez) July 5, 2019

One thing’s for certain: Trump’s speeches are a gift to Twitter comedians everywhere.

Featured image via Twitter