Uber Eats has nothing on these hustlers.

In an effort to keep his dancers and kitchen staff employed during the coronavirus lockdown, a strip club owner in Portland, Ore., has created “Boober Eats.” The service brings pub fare, delivered by strippers clad in booty shorts and nipple pasties, straight to the customer’s door.

Shon Boulden, owner of the Lucky Devil Lounge, came up with the ingenious rebrand following Gov. Kate Brown’s mandate to shut down all “non-essential” businesses, which follows the national trend of restaurants and bars remaining open on a delivery and takeout basis only. Boulden tells The Oregonian that the idea began as a joke he’d shared on social media. But when his community began to ask him for details on the service, he realized the business model had real-world potential.

“So, while the rest of Portland was hoarding toilet paper and pasta,” writes local reporter Samantha Swindler, “he bought out one local store’s stock of pasties.”

“All the calls, people are just giddy and fun,” Boulden says. “Sometimes it’s a surprise for someone, sometimes it’s a birthday, sometimes it’s people that are really stoned.”

Uber Eats, which recently waived delivery fees for struggling restaurants, did not immediately respond to The Post’s request for comment about this enterprising homage to their service.

Boulden tells Willamette Week News that Boober Eats delivers the club’s full menu, including chicken fingers, steak bites and mini corn dogs, at their standard prices. Also available from 7 p.m. to 1 a.m.: alcoholic drinks, ginger beer and Red Bull. A delivery fee of $30 is also added, depending on the customer’s distance from Lucky Devil Lounge. (A generous tip is also welcomed.)

“If someone wants to give us a couple hundred bucks to go to the coast, we’ll do it as long as the girls are taken care of,” Boulden says.

Dancers arrive escorted by a formidable bodyguard — to ensure their safety, foremost, and also be sure that potentially COVID-19-infected customers don’t try to get handsy with the women. Boulden is also outfitting his staff with face masks, disposable gloves and sanitizing wipes.

Like hairstylists or tattoo artists, strippers are generally considered independent contractors rather than employees, meaning they have to rent their space on the pole. For the same reason, they also aren’t eligible for unemployment benefits.

“It became very real when all this happened,” one dancer, Olivia, told the Oregonion. “Dancers work for tips and tips only.”

Boulden, who co-owns a second strip club called Devil’s Point, employs about 80 dancers between the two.

“They’re all like, ‘Hey, what do we do?’ I said, ‘Let me figure something out,’ and this is my solution,” says Boulden.

Despite Boober Eats’ popularity, the 25 dancers signed on with the service have gone from making hundreds of dollars a night to close to minimum wage.

“Losing this job is devastating,” says dancer Kiki. “For the majority of us, it’s been an almost complete loss of income. I’m here supporting my community and trying to keep maintaining an income flow as best as we can.”

Boulden says he’s doing his best to keep all of his employees working — with cooks in the kitchen, dancers going door to door, bouncers escorting deliveries and bartenders taking phone orders.

“It’s crazy,” Boulden says. “We mutated our one business into a totally different style of business.”

Those in the Portand area — or willing to pay a steep delivery fee — can order via Boober Eats online, or by calling 503-206-7350.