What seemed a friendly piece of advice has backlashed dramatically at Melbourne training this morning, with a first-year rookie putting his nuts on the line and kindly letting Jordan Lewis know that the wisps of hair gathered on the crown of his head “ain’t what they used to be.”

“I hesitated at first because of who he is but someone had to tell him, he was walking around here like he was George fucking Clooney,” said the rookie, who Inside Sauce has chosen not to name due to concerns for his safety.

The news did not go down well, with Lewis reacting angrily to the news and promptly asking the rookie to “remind me how many premierships I’ve won again?” The reply struck a devastating and potentially career-ending blow to the rookie’s social standing among the players, with several onlookers seriously doubting that he’ll make another senior appearance again for the club.