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For over a decade I've been collecting week the best commentator cock-ups and manager manglings for your amusement in my weekly 3PM column.

Here are over 200 of my favourites from 2012 and don't forget - if you've heard a #FootballGaffe, use the Twitter hashtag or mail to steve.anglesey@trinitymirror.com

"I've been consistent in patches this season" - THEO WALCOTT

"I look forward to hearing from the silent majority" - ALEX McLEISH

"I haven't seen it, but it looks generous" - ARSENE WENGER

"Whoever you support, you've got that blood in your veins" - PHIL NEAL

"Paolo Di Canio is one picnic short of a hamper" - ALAN BRAZIL

"If we'd kept a clean sheet tonight, we'd have won 1-0" - STEVE COTTERILL, AFTER FOREST LOST 2-1

"They can push the bat a little bit more than others at that level" - STEVE CLARIDGE

"In the end, Rosicky initially did well" - ANDY TOWNSEND

"He's been like a fresh of breath air" - ROY KEANE

"The thing about goalscorers is that they score goals" - TONY COTTEE

"I don't want Rooney to leave these shores but if he does, I think he'll go abroad" - IAN WRIGHT

"Belgium are outside dark favourites to win the group" - IAIN DOWIE

"Six yards out and Wheater headers it over" - PAUL MERSON

"Luis Suarez is a victim of his own make-up" - MICKY QUINN

"Matt Taylor ran half the length of the field, width-wise" - IAN ABRAHAMS

"The last six games of the Invincibles season were the most pressurised, because we were under pressure" - RAY PARLOUR

"I feel sorry for Wolves at the moment but not sorry for them" - DAVID PLEAT

"Sometimes you want Obertan to open his legs and do something a bit exciting" - ALAN PARDEW

"Fernando Torres needs a new leash of life" - STAN COLLYMORE

"The game is not over until it is" - DWIGHT YORKE

"He's got a lot of self-belief in himself" - GRAHAM BEECROFT

"When Everton knock it long, they don't knock it long" - PAUL MERSON

"It's so daft it's almost stupid" - CHRIS KAMARA

"With Harry, two plus two always makes five, not three" - MILAN MANDARIC

"Alex Ferguson is speaking about Liverpool in an intimate way" - STAN COLLYMORE

"They were numerically outnumbered" - GARRY BIRTLES

"It was goalposts for jumpers" - TONY MOWBRAY

"Not to win is guttering" - MARK NOBLE

"Rolando's been given a second yellow for arguing with the life support.... er, the linesman" - CHRIS WADDLE

"One win doesn't make a swallow" - DANNY KELLY

"Reading won't have the confidence to be confident" - PAUL MERSON

"The one significant change is in fact the second significant change" - JONATHAN PEARCE

"That's put a strain on his left-hand knee" - JOHN SCALES

"However people have interpretated that is up to them" - EDDIE MITCHELL

"He's a good footballer, as in technical-wise" - TONY CASCARINO

"Jordan Henderson is a player who likes to do his business in the middle of the park" - JASON McATEER

"It's never over until somebody sings" - CLAYTON BLACKMORE

"Matty Jarvis had acres of time there" - STAN COLLYMORE

"That's exactly how you head a ball... you use your head" - RAY WILKINS

"It's an unprecedented precedent" - CLARK CARLISLE

"There's a good-feel factor about Sheffield Wednesday" - ALAN BRAZIL

"Darren Fletcher is the type of player who would walk over hot coals to play for his country, and he has done" - ANDY GRAY

"If you closed your eyes, you couldn't tell the difference between the two sides" - PHIL BROWN

"They're a little bit miss and hit" - DWIGHT YORKE

"Will Chelsea qualify with ease? I think they will, but it won't be easy" - JAMIE REDKNAPP

"Look at that roar" - NIALL QUINN

"I'll give the ref the benefit of the doubt but he's got a lot wrong" - MARK BRIGHT

"He done great to get where he got" - PAUL MERSON

"West Ham have committed 13 fouls, but they weren't fouls, they were commitment" - RAY WILKINS

"Getting picked gives you half that confidence, or 50 per cent of it" - GLENN HODDLE

"Ferdinand has been laid out by Kolarov's unfortunate followthrough" - JON CHAMPION

"I think one of these teams could win this" - ANDY TOWNSEND, BEFORE UEFA SUPER CUP FINAL

"Michael Owen will get double figures this season - or at least 10, possibly more" - GARTH CROOKS

"The Merseyside derby games are unique in the city" - BRENDAN RODGERS

"Levante have gone fourth in Serie A. If anyone can tell me what part of Italy Levante is in, please call. I've no idea" - ALAN BRAZIL

"It's like a stone rolling down a hill - it's gathering more and more moss" - GRAEME SOUNESS

"I hope to be back in management in the next future" - PAUL INCE

"I'm glad I don't have to face Coloccini, because I don't think I would touch many balls" - DEMBA BA

"John Terry wears his shirt on his sleeve" - RAY PARLOUR

"Roberto Martinez's belief is unbelievable" - DAVE WHELAN

"The butterflies will be jangling" - GABBY LOGAN

"Cahill went off, then Botswana came on" - PAUL ELLIOTT

“Shay Given is champing on the door to be involved this weekend" - ALEX McLEISH

"Bayern will have the added advantage of playing in their own stadium - that's like a home game for them" - PAUL ELLIOTT

"Robben and Ribery have what you call a fisty relationship" - ULI KOHLER

"Football's all about yesterday, it's all about now" - PAUL MERSON

"Fulham haven't had a shot on target, which is probably why they aren't in the goals" - TONY COTTEE

"Neither team has really taken the baton by the scruff of the neck and put their stamp on it" - NIGEL WORTHINGTON

"It's all hands to the decks now" - NIALL QUINN

"Ozil could find the needle in a haystack with his sense of smell" - RAY HUDSON

"Too often this season, Sunderland have left themselves with an uphill mountain" - GRAHAM COURTNEY

"The problem is nobody knows what the problem is" - DAVID CRAIG

"They're not that very good, Napoli" - PAUL MERSON

"The pass for Wright-Phillips was overweight" - ALAN SHEARER

"Mario Balotelli is like Marmite, you either love him or hate him. Me, I'm between" - JOE ROYLE

"Fernando Torres needs to be loved on a regular basis" - MARK LAWRENSON

"He went in with his shuds stowing" - GARY NEVILLE

"He could have done one of three things. He didn't do either" - GORDON STRACHAN

"Man City are entering the eye of the tiger" - MARTIN KEOWN

"You've got a little spring in your step in your voice" - MICKY QUINN

“Is it still called Calcutta? I thought it was Bombay these days" - CHIS KAMARA

"The paint is hardly dry on Neil Warnock's sacking" - JIM WHITE

"In the FA Cup, you always have to expect the unexpectable" - ROBERTO DI MATTEO

"It's now much more 50-50 in favour of Everton" - IAIN DOWIE

"Sheffield Wednesday are third in the table. You couldn't be any higher" - IAN ABRAHAMS

"There was nothing wrong with his timing, he was just a bit late" - MARK BRIGHT

"That's literally opening a team up and putting them to the sword" - NIALL QUINN

"When you're there, it's one of those 'I was there' moments" - TONY GALE

"He's the player who can unlock the key" - STUART ROBSON

"John Cross is feeling very boyish about Arsenal's chances" - ALAN BRAZIL

"Southampton have always been at the top, apart from the seasons when they weren't" - RAY PARLOUR

"It was end-to-end stuff at both ends" - JACK DEARDEN

"Mistakes will be made, make no mistake" - GARTH CROOKS

"There are so many sides down there at the top" - MARK SAGGERS

"He's sort of facing the goal with his chest" - LEE DIXON

"Manchester City feel like they've been hardly done by" - NIGEL PEARSON

"Ramires is involved in everything he does" - GRAEME LE SAUX

"There's only one person gets you sacked and that's the fans" - PAUL MERSON

"Scotland v Wales will be like a Cup tie" - ALAN BRAZIL

"Most goals are scored between the posts" - JAMIE REDKNAPP

"Where do you sit on young players, Martin Keown?" - JONATHAN PEARCE

"The proverbial is hitting the flan at the moment" - ALVIN MARTIN

"I've only played for Watford, so I'm called a one-man club" - LLOYD DOYLEY

"There's always been a fierce rivalry between Spurs and Tottenham" - DAVID PLEAT

"Martin Kelly has been booked for a foul on everything" - GRAHAM BEECROFT

"Didier Drogba's just a big loveable lump. Graham Norton seemed to get inside him last night" - CLIVE TYLDESLEY

"England are dangerous black horses" - GARETH SOUTHGATE

"He's 23 years of old" - MICKY QUINN

"Ji-Sung Park is probably not as young as he was when he arrived at Old Trafford all those years ago" - RAY HOUGHTON

"Sheikh Mansour is putting his money and his mouth where his mouth is" - STAN COLLYMORE

"Arsene Wenger has got to unlock the purse strings" - JOHN MOTSON

"Suarez's hunger for the game seems unquenchable" - ALAN SMITH

"It's pouring down and the ref is enjoying his moment in the sun" - ADRIAN CHILES

"We have this mentality of going into every game just thinking about the next game" - SHANE LONG

"To concede so late is a bit of a pill to swallow" - LEAM RICHARDSON

"Defoe was level and anyone who says otherwise is picking hairs" - JOHN MOTSON

"The sun is squinting into the keepers' eyes" - JOHN TEMPLE

"Martin O'Neill has literally lifted Sunderland out of the mire" - PHIL THOMPSON

"We are talking negativitively about them" - RAY WILKINS

"Hopefully Andy Carroll has only tweeted his hamstring" - SAM ALLARDYCE

"Bobby Robson is Bobby Robson and will always be Bobby Robson" - FREDDY SHEPHERD

"Three minutes to go - this is where Arsenal normally get a last-minute goal" - SIR ALAN SUGAR

“Newcastle are absolutely besotted by injuries" - MARK LAWRENSON

"That kind of natural understanding doesn't develop naturally" - KENNY CUNNINGHAM

"The directors of the club are in dialect with the protesters" - STEVE KEAN

"Frank Lampard is engaged to Christine Brinkley" - MICKY QUINN

"Martin Jol has put his hands on his heads" - RAY PARLOUR

"When David Beckham leaves the game, it will take a very special player to come in and carry the mantelpiece" - SOPHIE NICOLAU

"Arsenal's defence will be a worry going forward" - KENNY CUNNINGHAM

"The half-time whistle blows and I have one word for you: Absolutely brilliant" - SAM MATTERFACE

"And now over to Barnet for another flash from Jacqui Oatley" - IAN ROBERTSON

"Bolton have won just three of their last two games" - IAN ABRAHAMS

"As the saying goes, 'you don't fix something if it isn't broken'" - PAUL MERSON

"They gave the Serbian FA a poultry fine" - ALAN BRAZIL

“There was nothing wrong with his timing - he was just a bit late" - MARK BRIGHT

"Most of Michael Owen's goals have come in the past" - DAN WALKER

"I'd love to get to the final of Masterchef. I'd feel almost as if I've failed if I didn't" - DANNY MILLS

"They played Arsenal and got their backsides felt" - CRAIG BURLEY

"Steven Fletcher cost a very lot of money" - CHRIS WADDLE

"They're being asked to play three games a week... mentally, they can't ascertain to do that" - BOBBY GOULD

"The more you lose, the more you don't win" - ALEX McLEISH

"They should slowly integrate them out of the club" - MICK QUINN

"That's certainly lit the litmus paper" - BRADLEY ALLEN

"Arsenal owe a great deal of debtitude to the keeper" - MATT LE TISSIER

"Abbiati sticks out a lanky arm to save that" - ALAN SMITH

"Reading have got the good factor" - RAY PARLOUR

"Andy Carroll will cause anyone problems and I don't see a problem in that" - ALAN SHEARER

"Arsenal need crispier passing" - SAM MATTERFACE

"I'd go back to Leeds at any time, but not right now" - GUS POYET

"Luiz nearly missed an open header" - ALAN SMITH

"Dzeko scored against QPR to set up that climax at the finish" - NIALL QUINN

"Fernando Torres is playing out of his face at the moment" - TOMMY LANGLEY

"Swansea's right back, Rangel Angel, will be putting the crosses in" - PAUL MERSON

"If Arsenal don't finish third, they might not finish in third place" - ALVIN MARTIN

"Bogdan should be playing for whatever country he comes from" - PHIL THOMPSON

“It's the old adage - what stays on tour, happens on tour" - IAN ABRAHAMS

"It's not always plain sailing , especially when you're flying" - BRENDAN RODGERS

"Chelsea have to play Sunday night - the FA won't bulge" – ALAN BRAZIL

"That was a great finish, but you could say it wasn't a great finish because it didn't go in" - CHRIS WADDLE

"The Carling Cup ought to get a little more credit than it deserves" - MARK CHAPMAN

"It's six of one, half a dozen of the other at least" - STAN COLLYMORE

"When you play for England you're all representing that curry... er, your country" - JAMIE REDKNAPP

"The Bolton back four didn't have a cat on earth's chance" - STAN COLLYMORE

"If you don't question the officials' role then you've got to ask what they are doing" - ARSENE WENGER

"Scottish football needs a kick in the arm" - CHARLIE NICHOLAS

"I watched the United v Reading game with my jaw literally hitting the floor" - IAN WRIGHT

"Robin van Persie is 29 years of old" - SAM MATTERFACE

"It was a damp squid for Liverpool" - PAUL MERSON

"In the first half, I didn't see the second half coming, that's for sure" - MICK McCARTHY

"And here goes Aguero, looking to relieve himself" - MIKE INGHAM

"Ronnie Moran had us as young boys, religiously" - PHIL THOMPSON

"Chelsea are all in blue, with their white socks" - SAM MATTERFACE

"It's looking more and more less likely" - ROBBIE FOWLER

"The FA inquiry has been a farce from start to finish and it's not even finished" - DIETMAR HAMANN

"Santi Cazorla is two-footed" - GRAEME LE SAUX

"Samuel Eto'o is reputedly the highest-paid player in the world at £350,000 per week - that's £5,000 a day" - CLIVE TYLDESLEY

"Man City have got a run of genteel games coming up" - CRAIG BURLEY

"Arsenal are in tough competition for fourth with the likes of Spurs, Everton and Arsenal" – PAUL MERSON

"With all their guns flying, Tottenham would be a threat" - GLENN HODDLE

"He's not as young as he used to be, Bobby Zamora" - GARY COTTERILL

"If we'd have scored, it would have been a different result" - TONY PULIS

"Spurs have been here before at White Hart Lane" - CLIVE TYLDESLEY

"There's a lot of work been put in that hasn't been put in" - GLENN HODDLE

"If you're not frustrated that you're not playing football then you shouldn't be playing football" - THEO WALCOTT

"They've had their moments, City, but nothing too consecrated" - CLIVE TYLDESLEY

"Are Spurs title contenders for the league? - MICKY QUINN

"If Oscar carries on like this then the world, literally, is at his oyster" - IAN ABRAHAMS

"As long as you hit the target, they're going to go in... if the keeper don't make a save" - IAN HOLLOWAY

"Football these days isn't going forwards. It's going sidewards" - BOBBY GOULD