Every DJ has one.



A night when everything that can possibly go wrong does - and it does so in spectacular fashion. Returning again, Clash brings you DJ Disasters, featuring some of the most respected figures in the dance world reminiscing about those moments when it all went badly wrong.

Feed Me has many names. Born Jon Gooch, the producer also works under the name Spor, while his more left field electronic output carries the banner Seventh Stitch. To the world at large, though, Jon Gooch will always be Feed Me. An overwhelming presence on the EDM scene, new album 'Calamari Tuesday' launches the producer's new imprint Sotto Voce in some style.

Flying around the world - often at a moment's notice - Feed Me has been lucky enough to live a life most can only dream of. However it can sometimes descend into a nightmare, as Jon Gooch reveals his own DJ Disaster...

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When I was asked to write this I was apprehensive at the potential for being comprehensively outclassed by hedonistic tales of high flying DJ rockstar behaviour, but upon researching previous contributions to this column which surmounted to 'I lost my music but then I found it' and 'I almost missed a gig but then I didn't' I don't really feel concerned any more.

At a festival a couple of years ago after being cleared from the stage for spitting drink at some people and riding on someone's back I became creative and found a reasonably large fire extinguisher in the hanger housing it. Using a hole in the stage floor my friend crept underneath, whilst I walked unarmed past the guard and into the centre, whereby he passed the extinguisher up to me. I directed the funnel at Datsik who was playing at the time, and emptied the extinguisher all over him, then spun around until it ran out.

What I assumed to be a CO2 extinguisher was in fact a chemical powder extinguisher which made everyone in the vicinity choke and fall down blind. Datisk vomited. I fell down unable to breathe. Through the impenetrable white fog I heard security screaming to get me, so I barrel rolled off the stage and hid under a generator outside. I saw people coming out coughing. The music stopped for a bit but it was OK in the end. I remember some quite short organiser trying to fight me but then calming down in return for a show as Spor. I paid for the damaged equipment as far as I know.

I broke my foot playing with a ball with KTN and some friends at Encore Beach club. I sat in the sun with it in a champagne bucket of ice for a while, but I had to do a long string of shows and airports from a wheelchair which was inconvenient. Gin has a strong anaesthetic effect on me though, and it looked great, sort of like one of those purplish potatoes.

At another festival in Vegas our transport girl was fired for allowing us to ride on the roof of her golf cart. I think she was upset, a little uncalled for. I got overexcited later after downing a beer with friends and threw it at a floodlight. There wasn't anyone around but some irate staff insisted I'd hurled it at them and I had to go home. Police removed me from the festival and I ended up in a taxi back to downtown with a very nice tourist couple from Dubai.

Also in Vegas, Skrillex very kindly surprised me with new flights so I could stay out for my birthday and his show. I was literally boarding my flight home so I turned around and came back to a festival then Encore. Me and Joe Nero found ourselves unable to open someones champagne on the stage but I solved it by smashing the top off the bottle on the edge of a table. It worked but I lacerated my finger quite badly. Then I think Joe threw Jager over some people as the night disintegrated and I was removed. All my luggage stayed open under the decks all night and was still there the next day covered in confetti. Some still falls out my suitcase now and again.

I got viral meningitis earlier this year midway through my live tour after a cold. I was very lucky in that I was treated by an amazing team of doctors who worked with us to make sure I didn't miss any shows. After a spinal tap and some high speed antivirals, antibiotics and pain killers I was able to temporarily check myself out and play my Denver show. I was kept in for a couple of days after that then did two each in SF and LA that weekend. Aside from dislocating my thumb I'd say Meningitis is the most uncomfortable sensation I've experienced.

Flux once tried to make a sandwich on my hotel room ceiling by throwing my rider all over it then trying to stick bread to what stayed up. An awful mess. I've done some fantastic jobs of rehanging paintings to cover holes in hotel walls also. They remain undiscovered. Being and living Feed Me has been a case of my life accelerating and becoming overstimulating to the point where a lot of these sorts of things have happened to me pretty consistently. I have mixed feelings when it comes to my personal responsibility; events want rockstars but ones that sit quietly backstage and behave even when fed limitless free alcohol. I suppose I've learnt my pseudonym really is an extension of my own (self) destructiveness, and I don't pretend to be perfect or always hugely stable. I can say that I enjoy every minute though and I'm hugely grateful. Onwards down the rabbit hole.

PS.

It's possible to dent a motorhome from over 10 metres away with a large tin of chopped pineapple. The only thing better in a microwave than a jumbo glowstick is a streetlamp bulb. I am proficient in operating 4 types of scissor lift under the influence, even at full extension. Coating a tiled floor in pina colada mix results in a surface entirely impossible to walk on. It takes an average of three throws to successfully hide a banana on top of a suspended strip light. There is usually a way to get onto the roof without setting off the alarm.

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'Calamari Tuesday' is out now - purchase link.