BELLEVILLE, ON—​"I've been trying to tell people for years," April Lasagna said with glossy eyes yesterday morning. "But I guess people just couldn't hear me because when I speak, I talk at the ground."

The 31-year-old Girlfriend singer best known for wearing ties as an adult woman has been pleading with the press for years to fix their mistake – to no avail.

"When Complicated came out in 2002, my producer told me over and over again that he was going to try and fix it. And then the song hit #1 all over the world and it was just too late. April Lasagna was gone and Avril Lavigne was here to stay."

Lasagna, who is currently in a complicated relationship herself with the lead singer of Canadian "rock" "band" Nickelback, says her husband Chad Kroeger didn't even know her real name until after the wedding ceremony. "He picked me up to step over the threshold into our honeymoon suite and said, 'Avril, I am so lucky to be with you.' And I started sobbing. And not just because I realized at that moment who I had just married."

Lasagna, whose favourite food is actually penne, eventually gave up on trying to clear the air about her name. "It just seemed pointless after so many years. I ultimately decided that people could call me whatever they wanted to call me. Even that one guy in Pittsburg who called me Anvil Laganja outside of a Hot Topic."

It's been 14 years of living her life as Avril Lavigne and Lasagna has no intention of rebranding herself in the style of Beyoncé's Sasha Fierce or a Garth Brooks' Chris Gaines. "I dunno, maybe I'll make a comeback and go full Lasagna one day. But for now I'm just focusing on writing music about disliking people and things."

Her father Jean Claude Van Lasagna says he doesn't blame his daughter. "April's a tough girl. She was taught from a young age to keep on keeping on. That's how she was able to make it through the divorce with that tiny, angry, baby troll [Sum 41's frontman Deryck Whibley]."

"Every time a Lasagna comes out of the oven – that's when it happens. That's when I remember my roots," Lasagna says tearfully. "I know who I am and that is April Romano Parmesan Lasagna."

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