If you are happy with your cable provider as a new baby with a diaper change and believe that it is efficient, charges you a reasonable monthly fee and in general has your best interest at heart, then do not read further but go immediately to the funny pages.

However, if Comcast Corp. is your provider and you are not completely satisfied and might want to see some changes in the service it provides, perhaps you should read on.

Comcast, for a paltry $45 billion, wants to take over Time Warner Cable, and unite the two biggest U.S. cable companies under one roof. The respected Sen. Al Franken (yes, he of SNL fame), a Minnesota Democrat, was recently quoted in the April 12 New York Times. Speaking at a Senate Judiciary meeting, Franken stated, “We’ve got the biggest cable provider and the biggest Internet provider, in Comcast, buying the second-biggest cable provider and third-largest Internet provider, and I am very worried [that] that will create a company that is too big.” Franken’s warning is scary. And what is perhaps even more scary is that the Times article goes on to say that Franken was the only lawmaker to explicitly say he wanted the merger blocked.

This spring, I had two personal experiences with our local Comcast that left me bewildered and bedeviled. My modem went out recently and I returned it and received a replacement. Two weeks to-the-day later, the replacement modem malfunctioned. I asked the clerk why it only lasted two weeks and he said that they were overwhelmed with requests for replacements so they simply had to temporarily replace the returned modems with used modems, which didn’t typically last for a long period of time.

Upon returning the second modem, the clerk asked me if I wanted to save money (had I reached Nirvana?)? He said that if I would sign up for a home surveillance camera (which he gratefully added that I did not have to install or use) at no cost (allegedly) to me, I could reduce my monthly bill of $183.34 (February) to $ 152.58 (March). Magically it happened, however like the Easter Bunny it soon went away. My April billing, without explanation, climbed to $167.81. It was almost enough to make me place a call to Comcast’s competitors. I am holding my breath until I see the amount of the May bill.

All this makes me wonder: is bigger better for the customer? Or is it just better for Comcast? Comcast had 2013 revenues of $64.7 billion. Their lobbying expenses jumped from less than a million dollars in l998 to $18,710,000 in 2013. There will possibly be up to 100 lobbyists to twist arms and whisper sweet nothings into the ears of our congress persons to persuade them to bless this merger. Do you believe that the successful merger will reduce your monthly fees and improve your services to reasonable levels?

At a recent Conference on World Affairs panel, the audience was asked to raise their hands if they liked their cable provider. Not one hand was lifted. If you would not have been able to raise your hand in good faith, I urge you to contact your congressmen regarding the proposed marriage. Contact information:

U. S Senator Mark Udall

Hart Office Building Suite

SH-730

Washington, DC 20510

P 303-650-7820

U. S Senator Michael F. Bennet

702 Hart Senate Office Building

Washington, DC 20510

P 202-224-5852

E-mail: info@bennetforcolorado.com

U.S. Representative Jared Polis, (2nd District of Colorado)

1433 Longworth House Office Building

Washington, DC 20514

P 202-225-2161

Fax: 202-226-7840

Even if you do not have complete faith in your representative; it might be an inexpensive way (mine will cost 47 cents) to determine if your congressman indeed has your back or is he listening to the 100 bogeymen in $1,300 Brooks Brothers suits.

Meanwhile would anyone like to purchase a still-in-the-box surveillance camera? Some of my friends have indicated that a huge bill might be forthcoming from Comcast for that camera. Did I sign anything? I am afraid that I was so thrilled at the proposed rate cut, that I can’t quite remember.

Action is expected on this merger in May. Stay tuned.

Patrick Mulligan lives in Bouilder.