BRITONS have been inspired to just abandon what they were doing and fuck off.

The nation has concluded that if something involves hassle then giving up is the right thing to do.

Ice cream van operator Roy Hobbs said: “I was selling a child an ice cream but got sick of him counting out his change, so I took 20p, gave him an empty cone and drove off.”

Mum-of-two Donna Sheridan said: “I usually drive my son the whole 10 miles to primary school, but today I didn’t feel like it so I left him halfway and went to the hairdresser.

“He wasn’t happy but he’s learnt the valuable life lesson that you don’t need to finish anything you started. Who knows, one day he might be a successful politician.”

She added: “Tonight my husband’s taking me for a lovely romantic meal but couldn’t be arsed to book anywhere good so we’re going to Chicken Cottage.”

Builder Norman Steele said: “I finished building a house today. There’s no roof, windows or doors so the owners will just have to wear waterproofs and look out for burglars.”