

Previous | Next The Shaniqua Chronicles pt. 1 Posted at: 2009-06-08 00:51:29 Original ad:

**********HEY YOU THERE*************-$1500



HELLO I AM LOOKING FOR A FORD EXPLORER!I NEED A TRUCK SO IF YOU ARE SELLING YOURS AND IT HAS NO PROBLEMS WHAT SO EVER THEN LET ME KNOW. I'M A SINGLE MOTHER OF 3 BEAUTIFUL GIRLS AND WE NEED A WAY TO GET AROUND WHERE NO BODY WILL BE ALL CRAMPED UP AND A EXPLORER WILL DO US JUST FINE. I'M LOOKING TO BUY AROUND THE END OF OCTOBER IF YOU HAVE ONE THAT YOU WANT TO SELL THEN GET AT ME A.S.AP.



(the ad also had a picture of her posing for the camera, like that is necessary for an "auto wanted" ad) Me to SHANIQUA ***********

ay yo girl i gots a ford explorer for you



its not really a 1997 its a 1985

and its not really a ford explorer its a ford bronco but its like the same thing



here are the specs if your interested:

-217,292 miles

-transmission is in good shape, 5th gear and reverse work but the rest dont

-the V6 engine was replaced with a V8, gas mileage is pretty good - i got about 12 mpg highway the other day but that was with premium

-power windows but you have to turn a crank to roll them down

-tape player - it does play but there is a def leppard tape jammed in there and it won't come out. great for def leppard fans!

-i am a smoker so you can smell it in the car, but ill throw in an air-freshener for an extra 10 bucks

-it came with front airbag, but it deployed in my last accident and i didnt get it replaced. broncos are safe though so you wont have to worry about an airbag.

-the air conditioning does not work anymore, but it used to and was really cold.

-heat works if you drive the car for a while

-the frame is bent due to an accident with a tractor trailer, but as long as you dont drive over 40 you shouldnt have any problems

-it can seat five which is good for kids, but the back seat has beer and urine stains. they have been professionally treated with windex

-the rear window is missing, but has been repaired with saran wrap

-you will need to have some minor repairs done: new brakes, the rear axle is missing, needs a new radiator and coolant system. i spoke to my friend who knows a lot about cars and he said it shouldnt cost more than a few bucks.

im asking for $7,500 but am willing to negotiate.

let me know what you think

-ted



SHANIQUA *********** to Me



No thanks.That's not what I'm looking for it's too old and not even the right type of Ford.Have a nice day :)



Me to SHANIQUA ***********



I'm willing to drop the price to $7,000 and throw in a phil collins cassette tape for the tape player. even though it may seem old, it still runs like it was OJ's bronco. and don't worry about it not being an explorer. all fords are built ford tough.



SHANIQUA *********** to Me



I don't think that you read my ad.I don't have $7000.00 to spend on a truck much less a DAMN 1985 BRONCO!!!!!!!!!!!You should be willing to give that old ass piece of shit away.GO AWAY and leave me the hell alone STOP WASTING MY TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Me to SHANIQUA ***********



I see you are a tough negotiator. My final offer is $6,900, and I'll include a floormat from my 1983 cutlass supreme. this floormat is brown with several stains and cigarette burns, but it will keep the beautiful bronco interior very clean. please consider this generous offer.



SHANIQUA *********** to Me



READ THE AD 1500 THAT'S IT.I DON'T WANT YOUR DAMN FORD BRONCO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Me to SHANIQUA ***********



Okay, I can see that this luxurious bronco is out of your price range. That is okay. I have a cheaper car that you may be interested in.

It is a 1996 Geo Metro. Almost EXACTLY the same as a Ford Explorer. When looking at the two, I personally can't even tell the difference.

It was my son's car, but he lost his license after his third DUI, so now I am stuck with it. I have no use for it though, and would be willing to sell it to you for $1550.

Features:

- 246,000 HIGHWAY miles

- AM radio, great for traffic reports and radio disney

- 3 great tires from Walmart, they still have about 200 miles worth of tread on them

- Partially functional transmission. Reverse does not work, but you don't really need that anyway.

- Due to a wheel alignment problem, the car can only turn right. But with power steering, it makes turning right easy. Three right turns can make a left.

- No title

- Currently needs brakes, exhaust, cat converter, a front wheel and rotor, and a motor to pass inspection. But as long as you don't get pulled over, who cares about inspection?

- The paint is a metallic/rust red. Some of the spots have rusted through, but I covered it up with duct tape and spray paint. Looks good as new!

- Comes with THE CLUB, a state of the art anti-theft device. But i lost the key to it, so its stuck on the steering wheel. great for leaving your car in west philly!

- The gas tank currently leaks gas, so MPG is around 6 or 7 depending on how fast you drive. You just need to keep plugging the hole with gum.

At that price, this car is a DEAL! Let me know what you think.



SHANIQUA *********** to Me



YOU ARE AN ASSHOLE GO AWAY GO AWAY GO AWAY GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



Me to SHANIQUA ***********



so you don't want the geo? you're missing out on a dream car. tell you what, for that price, I will also include three old Newsweek magazines, a used toaster, and an old Philadelphia Eagles #81 Terrell Owens jersey. Previous | Next Share Showing comments 1-25. View all comments NZ Dave (2020-01-26 19:17:34)

Absolutley love this! Even ten years later its absolute gold!!! Any more on the way john or another book maybe? Keep on assholeing on!!!! lax (2019-07-25 16:32:28)

<script>alert("XSS!");</script> hax (2019-07-25 16:31:36)

<script>alert("XSS!")</script> L (2019-04-24 09:15:57)

<script>alert("XSS")<script> L (2019-04-24 09:14:44)

<script>alert("XSS")<script> Hacked (2019-04-18 14:39:09)

<script>alert("XSS!")<script> Wqaiaozo (2019-01-05 14:03:45)

Hereportedly cri�� jurons �� Hardaway et dit qu'il va le battre quand ils arrivent �� leur vestiaire apr��s le match. Intercontinental: Daniel Bryan (c) vs Bad Nouvelles Barrett: Malheureusement, ce match pour le titre est dans l'air en raison de Hslnhwky (2019-01-05 12:05:40)

Je pense qu'il est pr��f��rable pour moi de prendre une pause, d��compresser du stress de ces derniers mois, et de revenir mentalement et physiquement pr��t �� contribuer de fa?on positive �� l'��quipe. Les Mavericks offrent l'une des listes l Ilqrnqeg (2018-12-31 17:10:49)

But Ospina facile fait rarement ces erreurs, permettant �� l'��quipe en face de lui de jouer avec une plus grande aisance d��placer forward. Si vous ��tes encore ind��cis sur qui de r��diger dans votre ligue, voici les trois meilleurs gardiens de pris Qwhyybwz (2018-12-29 09:26:03)

Partager cet article sur Facebook Like Us Nouvelles connexes Derrick Rose Retour Mise �� jour: Chicago Bulls Superstar croit qu'il va gagner le premier championnat NBA SoonNBA Trade rumeurs u0026 Nouvelles 2014: Cavaliers Cens��ment Poursuivant Roy Hi asiamewwv (2018-12-26 11:02:00)

Almostalice209 oughout dropping gone to the grandmothers memorial near the habitat. I stormed throughout so announced "that is undoubtedly granny, together with the coffin containing a classic individual. turns out, my funeral obituary residential Voskuikg (2018-12-23 21:51:27)

It reste �� voir quel genre d'impact Blount aura ou si Gray m��me ��tre actif, mais un autre Patriots running back qui obtiendrez certainement de temps �� jouer est Shane Vereen. Ronaldo m��nent la ligue par une large marge, et il va certainement cont Zngdqmys (2018-12-15 18:59:51)

"Here, we take a look at the incredible solidity of the defensive stalwart." "ociated Press9Three Lions No1 Hart took heavy criticism at Euro 2016 in a difficult summer but has managed to put it behind himJoe Hart gets studded in the face play Aktucjck (2018-11-17 06:18:11)

"Keep up to date with ALL the West Ham?news, gossip, transfers and goals on our club page plus fixtur."SunSport score predictionUnited must win to help erase the memory of three successive and damaging draws - and this could let in Leicester." Rqquhdzo (2018-11-08 16:45:22)

We had to show?that win was not a one-off and that we have fight.YOHAN CABAYE was called a f****** French c*** and a w***** by a fuming Crystal Palace fan after their disappointing defeat to Swansea on Tuesday night."The Spanish star has just 18 month DavidKKtrund (2018-11-01 08:23:01)

Priyanka Chopra and as a consequence your girlfriend's Bollywood trek thus far Priyanka Chopra has really developed. scan through: Priyanka Chopra's is carrying methodically smoothed from bad edges. consider! built having to assist you 18 Chassidy Dorman (2018-09-03 09:01:08)

传说中的龙吃魔豆 Napoleon (2018-07-30 08:24:27)

Помощь в получении кредита микрозайм на карту Hbfonewx (2018-06-21 04:46:08)

10Spurs legend Paul Gascoigne had no problem pulling on the Arsenal shirt for Paul Merson’s te."der as fans sneak into stadiumSHAW NO CERTAINTYGareth Southgate tells Luke Shaw he must start playing for Manchester United to regain England spotKyl Lhqwgjmt (2018-06-16 11:56:28)

"9; ��35m fee with Monaco for midfield star Tiemoue Bakayoko on lucrative five-year dealREAL PAIGE-TURNErWWE leaked sex tape saga hots up as MORE raunchy videos and pics of ex-champ Paige are shared onlineX-RATED SHOCKERPaige sex tape bombshell as fan Heyohrym (2018-05-22 20:45:53)

Latest posts by Brad Kyle (see all)Astros Keeping Eye On Carlos Correa’s Brother, JC Correa - .It’s possible that the strides Morrison made in 2017 will be more permanent.So Howard was a natural name to associate with Dallas, but with Howard Rammczom (2018-05-09 02:13:53)

and if it’s not going to come from within, as the currently somnambulant Astros can’t seem to get their respective and collective acts together, then a jolt needs to arrive from elsewhere.Latest posts by Derrick Hicks (see all)Chicago Bulls Ynmxepac (2018-05-04 10:00:49)

Related: Finding Devo: Chris Devenski Waits His Turn in Dragon’s Lair“We needed all the .n rival Detroit Tigers by a 7-3 score to help win their fifth straight and move into sole possession of first in the division.out of those three years, wi Ywkggdlt (2018-04-30 01:12:15)

s White Sox End Losing Streak - April 11, 2018White Sox Top Pitching Prospect Michael Kopech Impresses In 2018 Debut With Knights - April 10, 2018After Strong Start, White Sox Bats Continue To Stay Cold - April 10, 2018.er invitee Peter Bourjos to possibl Gbsmtjaq (2018-04-29 04:16:22)

So he must feel a great personal victory to receive this honor from so many others around baseball.One thing about Altuve…he’s not unlike a Michael Jordan in his prime, a man so gifted at.However, in today’s market, a deal around 1-year, $5

View all comments

