Yelp reviews (3.5 stars) “A very typical vulgar choice for poor students and low life whose main objective is to get drank” “It's a cesspool.” “worst place to spend your night” “You will first notice the smell, it is a mix of Axe body spray, shame and stale overpriced beer.”

I began my pilgrimage at 9 PM at The Roxy, notorious amidst locals as one of the most terrible clubs on Granville and thus a seemingly appropriate place to start. Walking in was like entering the hygienically challenged 90s, and it seemed some people may have actually been here that long. Why there was carpet in this place was a mystery to me, and the general decor was unfashionably retro.

But on first impression The Roxy wasn't half bad. Sure, there was a smell, but there was also a live band, people seemingly having fun and it was actually full. What surprised me first was the sheer range of age in this place. In the corner were old men who resembled Boot Strap Bill on board the Black Pearl; men who had seemingly become part of the furniture.

Meanwhile, the dance floor was full of teenage girls in cowboy hats. In the middle of the room were the in-betweens: a couple of groups of out-of-towners, some regulars, and a table of punks who didn't know why they were there. A wise Australian friend hailed The Roxy as “lame but fun” and this is exactly how I would put it—for a club on Granville, it is doing its best to retain some kind of identity but its place on the Granville strip, or “Vancouver’s shit strip” means that it will, by association, always be a little lame.