Michael Gove told Andrew Marr he was ‘fortunate’ not to have gone to prison (Picture: Jeff Overs/BBC via Getty Images)

I recently wrote a satirical self-help book called Think Like A White Man, which talks about what it’s like to be black in Western societies.

In it, there is a ‘formula’ depicting the stark racial disparities at play in how western societies treat crimes around drugs:

White skin + drugs = rehabilitation, sympathy, redemption and/or a loving funeral.

Black skin + drugs = a cold jail cell, a pillow between your gnashing teeth, absolute unemployability, punchline fodder and, finally, being thrown into an unmarked hole or into the sea.


As the old adage goes and as the former justice secretary’s cocaine revelations have conclusively proven: many a true word is spoken in jest.



Just this weekend Michael Gove was essentially forced to reveal that he was a user of cocaine 20 years ago while he was a journalist and the reaction has proved my formula right.

One day he will no doubt receive a loving funeral in which his cocaine use will not be mentioned or remembered. But in the meantime, he might just receive the keys to Downing Street.

Black and poor people can only dream of such treatment.

I have never taken or even touched a single narcotic in my life. I have never even smoked a cigarette or shisha. I barely even drink. Yet I’ve been stopped and searched for drugs (or worse) more times than I can remember. I have literally lost count. I have even been in a hard-stop – when openly armed police storm and scream commands at you – while returning from a university examination.

If I had been stupid, desperate, downbeat or unaware of my environment enough to get involved with drugs, chances are my life would have been ruined. The likelihood is I would today have a criminal record and therefore highly unlikely to make good on any potential I may have.

When asked on Andrew Marr’s show yesterday if he should have gone to prison for taking cocaine, Michael Gove responded that he was ‘fortunate’ not to have gone to prison.

Gove wasn’t ‘fortunate’ not to have gone to prison – he was fortunate to have been white and middle class. Because if he was not, he almost certainly would have been stopped, searched and eventually caught in possession. And from there on his life would have been ruined.

This isn’t an exaggeration. If admitted drug offender Michael Gove was black he’d be nine times more likely to be stopped and searched. If he was caught in possession he wouldn’t be called The Right Honourable Michael Gove today – he’d be more likely to have a street name like ‘Sniper Mike’ or ‘Mike Blow-Ski’.

Even when caught with cocaine the racial disparity of charge versus caution is stark: 44 per cent of ‘Michael Goves’ are charged with possession and 56 per cent are cautioned. Whereas 78 per cent of ‘Sniper Mikes’ are charged and only 22 per cent are cautioned.

Michael Gove is the former justice secretary and therefore a de facto field marshal in the war on drugs. He is now and forever more a poster child for hypocrisy. His tombstone should read: ‘Journalist, politician, hypocrite – ultra’.



I personally don’t care if Michael Gove took drugs in the past. I wouldn’t really care if I found out he is still shovelling cocaine up his nostrils today, provided it didn’t damage his ability to do his job. I do however care about the war on drugs.

The war on drugs has essentially been a war on black and poor people waged predominantly by white middle class people, like Michael Gove and practically everyone running to lead the Tory party (notably other than the two ethnic minority candidates) – who are actually more likely to use class A drugs, yet highly unlikely to ever be stopped and searched – and therefore rarely punished.

It has left communities – especially black communities – dehumanised, stigmatised and criminalised. It has damaged us economically, politically and socially.

Of course, prohibition has clearly failed. It has been linked to a boom in criminal gang activity and grooming of vulnerable young people into the trade, a sharp rise in the number of arrests of teenagers for dealing drugs, fuelled mass incarceration in Europe and America and exposes users of drugs to avoidable deaths.

So, as we gradually wake up and move towards a more common sense drug policy – which must include decriminalisation, regulation and rehabilitation – we must also look at addressing the damage done by the war on drugs.

We need to look at ‘repair-rations’ (correctly known as ‘reparations’) for the victims of the clearly hypocritical and racist war on drugs.

I cannot think of anyone better to lead this movement towards a common sense drug policy than Michael ‘Mike Blow-Ski’ Gove: the people’s drug offender.


Nels Abbey is a media executive, writer and satirist based in London. His first book ‘Think Like a White Man’ is in all good non-racist book shops and sites now

MORE: If Sajid Javid really cares about the impact of drugs on violent crime, he should decriminalise them

MORE: I sold drugs as a teenager. Young people drawn into dealing should be treated with care

MORE: Liam Neeson, stop trying to justify hate crimes against black men