The O’s are rocking Braille uniforms tonight. For what? So all the fuckin blindos in attendance can see dots on their chest? How ya gonna see the uniforms when you got no sight?? It’s a Chinese riddle for ya, Rhonda! I mean let’s just shoot everyone straight here:

If you’re BLIND, going to see the fucking 43 win, 107 loss Orioles play a September baseball game, all because they got some bumps on their jerseys, you gotta reevaluate your priorities.

How do you even know they’re telling the truth? You gonna let these blindos run up on Adam Jones and rub his back? Feel up his chest to prove it’s Braille night? I guarantee they have some sort of absurd scene with a blind person fondling a jersey so they get official Blindo credit for hosting Braille night. It doesnt even look like those bumps are raised. I dont even think they can “see” it! Its the same thing as fucking letters! So basically you’re just asking the Blinds to take your word for it. Hey guys I know you’re staring into the eternal black abyss but just take our word for it, the jerseys are braille! You could run this racket once a week just tell the blind people that it’s Braille night and promise you put the bumps on their jerseys. Serve those little pieces of candy on the paper strips and call it a day. “Braille night at Camden Yards!” When your product is as historically bad as the Orioles is this year, you better do whatever you can to attract the people who literally can’t fucking see it.