My husband and I started celebrating Festivus a few years ago when we realized that we were adults who pay taxes and have jobs so that we can do whatever we want, within reason. Sure, we would still go to see family on Christmas and Christmas Eve, but when we got home, we would sit around the Festivus pole and not think about Jesus or Santa Claus. It was a nice break from feeling obligated to do annoying things like hanging ornaments and saying “thank you” over and over again for presents that you didn’t want or need. The pole itself is a testament to our love because we built it together. The first year we decided to erect a Festivus pole, we went to Home Depot and found the parts (a fence post with cap and something called a toilet flange as well as a lot of electrical tape—it is not the one pictured above…that one looks fancy). In the years before that, we had made a game out of finding the worst, straggliest tree, until the final year when we settled on one bare branch, hilariously cobbled into a Christmas tree stand with tape and cable ties. That’s the thing about paying rent: you get to decorate as you please and make your own traditions.

We still usually buy presents, but we certainly don’t spend much. Until last winter, we always had to work on holidays as we both worked for places that never closed. The holidays were spent with both of us driving to different family gatherings, usually meeting up at some point during the day. I am one of six children from a combined family, so I had to visit both sets of parents/step-parents, grandparents, and in-laws. I like my family, so it wasn’t so bad. This year will be different, however, because I moved to Buffalo, NY to work at Center for Inquiry and will not be able to visit my family over the break.

I’m not upset about this; I feel like the actual day of the holiday is kind of arbitrary. I will be able to go back to Michigan in January, so I will just pretend like it is a special day and ask my family to recreate all of the glee that they felt while I was away, and it will be just as special. Plus, that frees up three days for me to eat a ton of food, make cookies, play with the cats, see my husband, visit the other “poorphans” (a term I just made up to signify people that are too poor to fly back to their see their parents), and make snow-people. Though I will need some snow for that last one…

So, what I want to say to you on this special Festivus is that the holidays are a time to relax, walk around in your underwear, not go to the mall, and eat whatever you want. If you’re not able to be with your family or friends over the holiday, but you don’t want to be alone, find someone who could use a helping hand. There are people who don’t have family to celebrate with, or don’t have a place to be safe and warm this holiday season, so I’d like to suggest making a difference for your community instead of sulking or competing for the title of Biggest Scrooge.