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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill's 12:30 Report: Breaking – Trump sending 1,500 troops to Mideast to counter Iran | Conservative blocks $19B disaster relief bill | Senate Dems urge House to tamp down impeachment talk | Frustration in Congress as legislative work slows to a crawl | Trump to end transgender health protections | Lawsuits pile up over Alabama abortion law | GOP spent $4M at Trump properties | Theresa May Theresa Mary MayAre US-Japan relations on the rocks? Trump insulted UK's May, called Germany's Merkel 'stupid' in calls: report Bolton says Boris Johnson is 'playing Trump like a fiddle' MORE resigns after Brexit failure | Retiring mailman goes viral | National Escargot Day

TALK OF THE MORNING

May comes to an end (in more ways than one):

Via The New York Times's Stephen Castle, British Prime Minister Theresa May announced that she is resigning on June 7 after failing to get support for her Brexit plan. https://nyti.ms/2YLWfkp

She announced outside of 10 Downing Street: "I feel as certain today as I did three years ago that in a democracy, if you give people a choice you have a duty to implement what they decide. I have done my best to do that. I have done everything I can to convince MPs to back that deal. Sadly, I have not been able to do so."

Timing: President Trump Donald John TrumpBiden on Trump's refusal to commit to peaceful transfer of power: 'What country are we in?' Romney: 'Unthinkable and unacceptable' to not commit to peaceful transition of power Two Louisville police officers shot amid Breonna Taylor grand jury protests MORE is scheduled to meet with May on June 3 as part of a state visit.

Watch May's tearful announcement: https://cnn.it/2WmoYPu

THE PROCESS FOR REPLACING MAY:

"Anyone seeking the job first has to be nominated by two members of Parliament. If there is only one candidate, he or she automatically becomes the new leader. If there are more than two, lawmakers vote among themselves to narrow the field to two candidates, who then are put to a vote by the 120,000 mostly white, mostly aging Conservative Party members." When the nomination process would start: Around June 10.

Possible successors: Boris Johnson, Dominic Raab, Andrea Leadsom, Michael Gove, Jeremy Hunt, Sajid Javid and David Lidington. What to know about each of the possible successors: https://nyti.ms/2M6jhkL

Happy Friday before the long weekend! I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com -- and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook .

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PROGRAMMING NOTE: The 12:30 Report will be off on Monday for Memorial Day. Have a good long weekend and don't do anything I wouldn't do! ;)

BREAKING

More troops are being deployed in the Middle East:

President Trump just announced that the U.S. will send roughly 1,500 troops to the Middle East amid tensions with Iran. http://bit.ly/2EpZcj5

What the new troops will do: Provide backup to existing troops in the region.

Trump just told reporters: "We want protection.”

ON CAPITOL HILL

The classic 'Which came first, the tornado or Congress?' debate:

Washington, D.C., was under a tornado warning for a short period of time yesterday.

Oh man, you can't make up this irony: "Senate officials telling people over loudspeakers in the Capitol to seek shelter during the disaster aid vote ." http://bit.ly/2WnBi1I

Here is video of the tornado alert going off in the U.S. Capitol:

Wow. Emergency alert just sounded in Capitol to shelter in place due to tornado threat pic.twitter.com/5m8rkTcx8n — Scott Wong (@scottwongDC) May 23, 2019

Watch: http://bit.ly/2WmQ5d8

Meanwhile...:

As a tornado siren wails in the basement of the Capitol, we have a visitor. pic.twitter.com/SHM3vqn0EQ — Niels Lesniewski (@nielslesniewski) May 23, 2019

http://bit.ly/30GhFBg

IN CONGRESS

Nothing is ever a sure thing:

Via CNN's Ashley Killough, "A disaster relief bill was prevented from advancing in the US House of Representatives on Friday after Republican Rep. Chip RoyCharles (Chip) Eugene RoyPelosi must go — the House is in dire need of new leadership GOP lawmakers want answers from Disney on Mulan, China Freedom Caucus member Chip Roy touts bipartisanship in first campaign ad MORE of Texas objected to passing the bill, meaning the more than $19 billion in aid may not go to President Donald Trump's desk for his signature before June." https://cnn.it/2K2hmLe

Why can't we be friends? Why can't we be friends!?:

Via The Hill's Jordain Carney, "Senators are growing increasingly frustrated as legislative activity has slowed to a crawl during the first half of the year."

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And don't expect it to change much: "The lack of floor action has left lawmakers publicly complaining, even though the high-profile feuding between President Trump and congressional Democrats makes it highly unlikely that large-scale bipartisan legislation will succeed heading into the 2020 elections."

Yesterday was big!: "The Senate voted on two bills Thursday, breaking a nearly two-month drought during which Majority Leader Mitch McConnell Addison (Mitch) Mitchell McConnellFEC flags McConnell campaign over suspected accounting errors Poll: 59 percent think president elected in November should name next Supreme Court justice Mark Kelly: Arizona Senate race winner should be sworn in 'promptly' MORE (R-Ky.) has focused instead on judicial nominations, his top priority."

How tensions are boiling over: http://bit.ly/2HRSSSe

Senate Democrats to House Dems -- Come on, be cool guys!:

Via The Hill's Alexander Bolton, "Senate Democrats want the House to cool it on impeachment. They see an impeachment drive as hurting more than helping their efforts to win back the Senate majority, and generally back Speaker Nancy Pelosi Nancy PelosiHoyer: House should vote on COVID-19 aid — with or without a bipartisan deal Ruth Bader Ginsburg lies in repose at Supreme Court McCarthy threatens motion to oust Pelosi if she moves forward with impeachment MORE's (D-Calif.) efforts to keep a lid on the issue." http://bit.ly/30HLOjJ

It's all about the voters: "Democratic senators say the subject of impeachment rarely even comes up in caucus-wide meetings, and that it distracts from issues like health care they see as more important to voters."

We have a deal!:

Via The Hill's Morgan Chalfant, "An unexpected breakthrough in negotiations between the Justice Department and the House Intelligence Committee is about to offer some lawmakers an intimate look at highly sensitive intelligence files collect by special counsel Robert Mueller Robert (Bob) MuellerCNN's Toobin warns McCabe is in 'perilous condition' with emboldened Trump CNN anchor rips Trump over Stone while evoking Clinton-Lynch tarmac meeting The Hill's 12:30 Report: New Hampshire fallout MORE." http://bit.ly/2Ka53wL

NEWS THIS MORNING

Just now -- Abortions have been restricted in Missouri, too:

Missouri Gov. Mike Parson (R) just signed into law a bill that bans abortions after eight weeks of pregnancy. http://bit.ly/2QpbhtI

Any exceptions?: Medical emergencies are an exception to the new law, but not cases of rape or incest.

When it goes into effect: Aug. 28.

MEANWHILE -- NEW LAWSUIT IN ALABAMA:

The American Civil Liberties Union and Planned Parenthood are filing a challenge to Alabama's new abortion law. http://bit.ly/30IEHHZ

From senior staff attorney at the ACLU Reproductive Freedom Project Alexa Kolbi-Molina: "This law is blatantly unconstitutional, and the ACLU will not stand by while politicians emboldened by President Trump's anti-abortion agenda exploit our health and our lives for political gain."

Read the details from ACLU Alabama: http://bit.ly/2VXF6aJ

The other big story in Alabama -- marriage, schmarriage:

The Alabama House voted to end the requirements for a marriage license in the state. http://bit.ly/2wfU3FI

The next step: The bill heads to Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey's (R) desk for her to sign or veto.

What this means: "The bill ends the requirements for both a license and a wedding ceremony, according to AL.com. If the governor signs the legislation, marriage in the state will only require a couple to file for a certificate. ... The legislation works around the Alabama probate judges who have refused to issue same-sex marriage licenses since the Supreme Court legalized same-sex marriage in 2015."

Details: http://bit.ly/2wfU3FI

IN THE WHITE HOUSE

Transgender health protections face rollback:

The Trump administration announced a new proposal this morning that end health care protections for transgender people.

Specifically: The new proposal would remove ObamaCare's definition of "sex discrimination."

What that current provision means: "That provision said patients cannot be turned away because they are transgender, nor can they be denied coverage if they need a service that's related to their transgender status."

Timing: Earlier this week, the Department of Housing and Urban Affairs announced a proposed rule to end transgender protections in housing. Oh and: Earlier this month, the Trump administration's transgender military ban took effect.

What to expect next: http://bit.ly/2EreQdN

Do-over:

This morning, President Trump criticized Democrats for requesting testimony from special counsel Robert Mueller, arguing that the Russia report should be all that is necessary. http://bit.ly/2Qp2w2O

Trump tweeted: "I don't know why the Radical Left Democrats want Bob Mueller to testify when he just issued a 40 Million Dollar Report that states, loud & clear & for all to hear, No Collusion and No Obstruction (how do you Obstruct a NO crime?) Dems are just looking for trouble and a Do-Over!" http://bit.ly/2Mm1wOD

IN OTHER NEWS

It's all in the family:

Via The Hill's Reid Wilson, "Republican candidates and campaign committees have spent more than $4 million at hotel, golf and vineyard properties that bear President Trump's name since he was inaugurated in 2017." http://bit.ly/2EuRoN5

How much of that money was for the Trump campaign itself: Trump's campaign has paid his businesses nearly $1.5 million for rent and fundraisers.

Breaking down the spending by Republican candidates and committees at Trump properties:

"Trump Hotel DC - $2m

Trump Doral - ~$1.1m

Trump Tower - $1m

Trump Plaza - $78k

Trump Bedminster - $48k

Trump Vegas - $26k

Trump Chicago - $22k

Trump Winery - $315" http://bit.ly/2WixkYp

Why this matters: "Watchdog groups have raised concerns over the propriety of President Trump profiting off businesses as foreign governments and corporate interest groups currying favor in Washington book rooms at Trump hotels -- including Trump's hotel in Washington, D.C."

NOTABLE TWEETS

Oh.:

http://bit.ly/2YIPzDK



Getting traction -- this story is worth reading:

THREAD: Floyd Martin retires after nearly 35 years as a mailman tomorrow. I went with him on his route today. pic.twitter.com/qZhUVY7Sz8 — Jennifer Brett (@Jennifer__Brett) May 22, 2019

This viral story of a retiring mailman has really struck a chord.

Read the full thread: http://bit.ly/2HyuCWd

REACTION FROM DELTA:

Delta Air Lines reacted to the man's story, offering him free airfare to Hawaii. Delta tweeted: "A trip to Hawaii is the perfect way to celebrate a wonderful career. We'd love to take care of Mr. Martin's flight. Let's connect on the details in DM." http://bit.ly/2YFLFLQ

ON TAP

The House and Senate are out for Memorial Day recess.

President Trump is on his way to Japan. Vice President Pence has no public events on his schedule.

Noon: President Trump and first lady Melania Trump Melania TrumpTrump privately blamed Black Americans for lacking initiative: report The Hill's 12:30 Report: Ginsburg lies in repose Melania Trump: Ginsburg's 'spirit will live on in all she has inspired' MORE left for Tokyo.

Just announced -- July 9: "A federal appeals court has set a July 9 hearing date in the appeal of a judge's decision to strike down the Affordable Care Act (ACA)." http://bit.ly/2VMIboT

WHAT TO WATCH

Released today: The remade Aladdin movie. NPR review: https://n.pr/2HDYbWN

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...:

Today is National Escargot Day. And for planning purposes, tomorrow is National Wine Day!

It's the most wonderful time of the year:

Via DCist, here's a list of 13 things to do in the Washington, D.C., area over the holiday weekend: http://bit.ly/2X4Ic98

And to get your weekend off to the right start, here's a dog who really believes he's still a lap dog. Please don't break it to him.: http://bit.ly/2VMTXQ4

Have a great long weekend, friends!