If you ask an American male between the ages of 18 and 55 a thoughtful, good-faith question about his perspective on the #MeToo movement, the Twitter-born hashtag that’s shined a klieg light on widespread sexual harassment in the corridors of every industry, that man is likely, statistically speaking, to give you a blank stare. Because according to a survey conducted by Glamour and GQ, more than half of the men who responded have either never heard of #MeToo, or they know so little that they can’t explain what it is.

The Glamour x GQ "Men on #MeToo" survey was administered by Toluna in April of 2018. It asked a series of multiple choice and write-in questions to 1,147 anonymous American men between the ages of 18 and 55 across a wide variety of geography, careers, incomes, and racial backgrounds.

Another statistic we couldn’t ignore: 47 percent of Glamour x GQ survey respondents haven’t discussed #MeToo. Ever. With anyone. In tandem with the oblivious men from above, the numbers lay bare a difficult truth: men, we need to get our heads in the game. The broader survey results reveal genuine worries (“I made a point of limiting my conversations with female coworkers to strictly business matters out of fear that that they would take a compliment the wrong way.”), deep gaps in the political and cultural awareness of men, and areas where the social structures have failed (e.g., dismal sex education with limited coverage of consent). Some of the survey statistics require extra context; some only inspired more questions. As a whole, the responses made one thing clear: to make real progress on the subjects #MeToo tackles, particularly sexual harassment and consent, men are going to have to catch up. And in order to do that, they—we—have to join the conversation.

So we did just that. GQ editor Benjy Hansen-Bundy and Glamour editor Justine Harman sifted through the survey data and spoke honestly about what they saw. Here are the findings we found most interesting and the dialogue it sparked between Benjy and Justine. (You can read Glamour’s response to the survey here.)

Men Are Scared of #MeToo

GLAMOUR: This is what we’ve been seeing in our personal lives too: The term #MeToo makes men want to run and hide. Why is it so scary?

GQ: I think the lesson a lot of guys learned very quickly during all the #MeToo revelations, myself included, was that this moment called for men to basically shut up and listen for a while. Now it feels like we’re in a new phase—it’s time to start the conversation about how we fix the big structural problems. I mean, a guy who groped women still got elected president. So everyone has to participate. But I think guys are still a little wary. One guy wrote, “The movement doesn’t come across as inclusive to men.” To be honest, I feel some of that trepidation too.

The Many Ways #MeToo Hasn't Changed Men

There were survey respondents who realized that their behavior needed to be re-examined (and there were men who completely retreated from the dating game out of paranoia). As one #MeToo-influenced guy wrote, "I am more aware that everything must be done under the strictest consent, and in my case, for example, do not assume that my wife has a sexual obligation with me.” Yet, that number, it's so low! The 35 percent improves to 59 percent if you discount the oblivious men mentioned above—self examination isn't on the table for the men who don't know #MeToo from R2-D2.