Who I Am, In Order

Christian

Husband of Deborah, Father of Alicia

American

Firefighter

Bassist for Fairweather Johnson, the Syracuse Area’s Best Hootie & The Blowfish Cover Band

Estranged Husband of Deborah, Father to Alicia

Spiritual Seeker

Ex-Husband to Deborah, Practically a Stepfather to Alicia, Sworn Enemy of Duane

Unitarian

Screamer at Duane Outside the Library Where He Works

“Not the Man” Deborah Married, “A Loser” According to Alicia

Zoroastrian

Bassist for Hootie & The Clonefish, the Syracuse Area’s Third-Best Hootie & The Blowfish Cover Band

Guy With Weird Foot Thing That’ll Probably Go Away On Its Own

Cable TV Subscriber

Guy With Foot Thing That Is Definitely Getting Worse Since It Has a Smell Now

Hider In the Backseat of Duane’s Car, Giving Duane the Biggest Fucking Surprise of Duane’s Life

Duane Puncher

Duane Restraining Order Restrainee

Guy With Just One Foot

Opioid Addict

Loaner of $500 to Alicia to Pay for “Some Medical Stuff, Don’t Tell Duane” as If Duane is Jesus Christ Himself Back From Heaven, Too Holy

to Pay for His Stepdaughter’s Abortion

Cable TV Subscription Canceller

Hospital Patient Who Wonders, “How Could This Foot Thing Spread to a Second Foot When First Foot Isn’t Even There Anymore?”

Face Briefly Glimpsed Outside the Back Window of the Big, Nice House Duane Lives In With My Family

Arsonist

Police Custody Escapee

Spirit Airlines Passenger

Wheelchair-Bound Non-Permanent Resident of Ecuador

Bassist/Singer For Hooblie & The Fishtootblowsers, the Portoviejo Area’s Most Drug-Addled, One-Man Hootie & The Blowfish Cover Band

Husband of Pain, Father of His Own Destruction

Atheist