When we heard that Gayle Forman was heading to visit the set of the film adaptation of her novel, If I Stay, we couldn't help but ask if she would share all the juicy deets. Because WE ARE SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS MOVIE, Y'ALL. Since Gayle is such a superstar, she kindly obliged with this fantastic glimpse of what it's like to be on the set of a movie... adapted from a book you wrote. (Spoiler alert: It's awesome.)

Some Things I Learned On My Hollywood Vacation*

*Actually, it was Vancouver, Canada, doubling as Portland OR. Which was more exciting than Hollywood because I grew up in LA and I’m like so over that.

I am recently returned from one of two set visits to the filming of If I Stay, on location in and around Vancouver, BC. It was a exciting, surreal, emotional and above all, humbling experience. And it was nothing like I expected. I’m not sure what I’m expected—as the film made its march toward production over the past five years, I’m not sure I ever contemplated how it would actually be. But even if I had, it was nothing like this. I drank a lot of coffee, felt a lot of feels, cried an embarrassing number of times, and learned a lot of interesting stuff about what goes down on set. Below, I share some of my Lessons From The Set.

Lesson #1 The Most Exciting Part of Having Your Book Made Into A Movie Is….

You might think that the most amazing thing about being on location while your book is being turned into a movie is seeing characters you created in your head personified—in this case so perfectly personified you wonder if someone has crawled into your head and extracted them. Or hobnobbing with actors currently personifying the characters you created in your head. Or even hearing the words of the characters you created in your head being said out loud. But no. The best (and most humbling) part of this whole crazy quilt of cool was driving up and seeing the rows of trailers and trucks and cables and equipment, all there because someone, or a lot of someones—hundreds of them—decided to get together and make characters you created in your head real. Not everyone on set will have any clue what your book is. To them, it’s just a job, just a toilet. Doesn’t matter. Doesn’t make it any less awesome, or humbling. In fact, I think it makes it more awesome and humbling.

Lesson #2 Bathrooms May Be Named After Your Book, But You Are A Dog.

As the author of the book being turned into a movie, on set, you are about as useful as a dog*. Like a dog, you might have some uses, especially before production begins (as executive producer, I got to be involved in the script and wardrobe and things like that and I even had an office). But once principal photography starts, no matter how lovable you are, no matter what kind of treats people offer you, do not kid yourself; you are a dog. A film production is like a choreographed ballet, with dozens upon dozens of people, each doing a very specific and highly trained job. There is no place for a dog here. The best you can do is stay out of the way and not shit on the rug.

*Unless you are Stephen Chbosky.

Me and a dog. Equally useful on a film set.

Lesson #3 A Film Set Is A Lot Like China

Or Kazakhstan. Those were the two places that my husband and I traveled to when we went around the world where I felt most completely out of my element, unmoored culturally and linguistically. The first morning of the shoot, the driver asked me if I wanted to go to circus or to set. Circus? Did someone add a circus scene to If I Stay without telling me? Thankfully, no.* Circus refers to the basecamp, where all the trailers are. Set is where the actual filming is taking place. There is an entire vocabulary—honeywagon, crafty, flags— to learn, and like in China or Kazakhstan, I picked up the essentials fast, because it was sink or swim time, baby.

*To answer your burning questions about the screenplay, there are some changes—it’s called an adaptation for a reason. But the script is very faithful to the book. The characters, the plot, and, I believe, the feels, all made the transition in tact.

Lesson #4 When In Doubt, Find A Mom

When I take my kids to Disneyland or some other crowded place I always tell them if they get lost, find a mom. Because a mom will always know how to help.. Same holds true on a film set. I quickly glommed on to the two moms on set: Teri Moretz, mom to Chloe and Jenn Davies, mother of Jakob (who plays Teddy). The Mom Brigade showed me the ropes, where to stand, who to get headsets from, where to get coffee (there was an endless supply!!!) and where to pee (see aforementioned coffee). On the second day, when I was still feeling all lost kitten, another mom, Mireille Enos (who plays Kat and is Uh-Maz-Ing) just sat down with me at lunch. We discussed our kids and gardening and Mom things. Boy do I love these women. Cool, down-to-earth and the ones who will get you found if you’re lost. They also happened to be really Mama Bears protective of their kids!

Teri Moretz, playing mom to Chloe. This is real life.

Lesson #5 You Sort of Get All Mom-Like Yourself

I don’t know if it’s because I’m a mom myself or if it’s because I feel so maternal about Mia, Adam, Teddy and Kim, but as the shoot progressed, I found myself feeling pretty protective of Chloe, Jamie, Liana, etc. Like, I would punch anyone who said or did anything mean to them—not that anyone did, but just in case you’re considering it, you’ll have me to deal with. When I saw the paparazzi guy who stalked Chloe, I got really grossed out, because it felt so predatory. Especially with Chloe, who, though more talented than you can even imagine while also managing to be nice and self-deprecating and kind is only sixteen years old and should be able to go shopping without being hounded. Also, I found myself worrying about Jamie, who is the nicest guy.* What happens if he becomes a mega-star and life turns crazy? And it wasn’t just the cast. I worried about the crew being warm enough or getting enough sleep (during a shoot, they don’t). These people were taking such good care of my story, I wanted to knit them all blankets. Only I don’t knit.

*In the way you can be nice and simultaneous hot and sexy and look like your guitar is an extra limb. In other words, nice like Adam is nice.

This is Jamie and Ben Klassen, the musician in his band with whom he is having a bromance.

Chloe and Liana really did become besties. All the bonding gave me a massive amount of warm fuzzy.

Me and Teddy. Yeah, I break my own heart, too.

Lesson #6 Everyone Chews Gum.

I haven’t sussed whether this is because you can’t smoke inside a set or because it’s close quarters and all the coffee breath or because of all the kissing.* But there was a plethora of gum. I am not complaining.

*Okay, only Chloe and Jamie did the kissing. But there was A LOT of it. It gave me a feels twist in the stomach to watch.

GUM!

I don’t have to tell you that is a picture of Chloe and Jamie kissing but apparently I do have to tell you that this was in character because people FREAKED OUT when this picture first emerged on the Internets.

Lesson #7 Directing Is HARD.

Maybe like me, you have this romantic notion of the director. He is the one who talks to the actors about their performance and occasionally peers into a rectangle made by his hands to frame a shot. Which does happen but it describes about 1/1000th of the job. Directors are involved in every aspect of the film, from fine-tuning the script to scouting locations, to casting to music to setting the tone, feel and visual look of the film. I don’t think I fully understood just how much they did until the first few days of the shoot when I saw our amazing director R.J. Cutler tweak scenes so that the characters’ physical gestures told huge stories, worried about the lighting and look, wardrobe, logistics, all while making hundreds (I do not exaggerate) of decisions in an hour and juggling a zillion different conversations. How does one do this? It seemed even harder than being President, or an astronaut. Just contemplating it makes me want to reach for a Xanax!

Two seconds after this photo was taken, it was back to work for these guys.

Lesson #8 Producing is HARD*

Producer is a nebulous title and I didn’t fully understand its scope before the shoot, in part because there are several producers in the credits of any given thing. But there is usually one producer or production company that basically has the job of Making Shit Happen. In our case, the Make Shit Happen person was Alison Greenspan. She is basically the engine on this project. She’s the one who helped find it a home, found us a director, got us off the ground and kept us flying straight. When a movie wins a Best Picture Oscar, it’s the producers who get to accept the award. See? Basically, if you wanted to send a box of chocolates to convey your deep thanks for making If I Stay happen but could only afford one box of chocolates, you’d send the chocolates to Alison.

*Are you getting the picture? Making movies is an incredibly difficult, high-stakes, high-pressure job. I have enormous respect for the people who do this and enormous gratitude that so many of the expended so much energy on If I Stay.

Alison called watching Alisa play a pinch-me minute. It was. But her job is still crazy hard.

Lesson #9 But Really, You Should Send Chocolates To Everyone

So there was me, walking around the set sort of in a daze of happiness or crying—I don’t want to be all John Green derivative here, but you cry, because of the momentousness of seeing what you wrote come to life, and also because the story is a personal one. And I’m like, okay, that’s me. It’s a big deal to me. To everyone else, it’s a paycheck. So wrong! Movies are magic. They have the power to be transcendent. So people up and down the line, from cello goddess Alisa Weilerstein (who um, is a MacArthur Genius Grant recipient, and who’s played for the President) to Joshua Leonard who plays Denny who sent me text updates from the set to share his excitement to Adam Lasus, the music producer who has produced a bunch or my favorite bands, and who produced Adam’s band* to the guys who were newbies in Adam’s band to John De Borman, the veteran cinematographer, to the studio guys at MGM, it was the same. It was a big deal. To all of them. Just not everyone cries on a daily basis.**

*OMG, guys, the music in this movie. THE MUSIC. YOU WILL DIE! In a good way.

**Though, in my defense, I heard from several actors and onlookers that there was crying on set, even while scenes were being shot. So HA! I’m not the only loser crybaby.

Even world-famous cellists get excited by movie-making!

Joshua Leonard showing off his baddass look.

Can you tell which one is Adam, the music producer? Does he not look like a kid in a candy store?

* * *

Gayle, thank you so much for sharing this fantastic experience with us! (Although you've just made the wait for the movie THAT MUCH HARDER.)