ROUND ROCK, TX—Having made repeated claims that he holds himself to a higher standard than anyone else does, local man Nathan Tullman, 37, remains under the mistaken impression that he is his own harshest critic, reports confirmed Tuesday. “No one’s tougher on me than I am,” said an incorrect Tullman, failing to take into account views of him held by his coworkers, wife, extended family, friends, doctors, and financial advisor, among others. “And that’s because I’m brutally honest with myself. If someone’s going to evaluate my strengths, my weaknesses, or my prospects and give me the straight truth—no matter how painful it may be—it’s going to be me.” At press time, Tullman wrongly added that on the occasions he chooses to reward himself, it’s because he truly deserves it.

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