Carved

Prologue - Years Ago, Arendelle

What the trolls never said—until it was way past too late—was that she would never die.

The first time she noticed, it was right before Anna's wedding. The wedding delayed for years, for many different reasons. Reason first was simple—the princess was too young. Then, after the initial hype died down, the nobles realized the groom was a peasant. Once they managed to convince them, a drought struck and money couldn't be spent carelessly on the ceremony. A sudden pestilence followed that almost took the would-be groom's life. The list went on, until the day that they couldn't postpone it any longer, as they'd used up all the valid excuses in the world—and the real reason had to remain concealed.

So Anna stood in front of the mirror in a white dress, on the very first day of spring on the year she would turn twenty six.

"You look wonderful," Elsa whispered, breath grazing over the exposed, freckled skin of her sister's shoulder. This was inevitable—people were already starting to spread rumors—and the very last thing the Queen could do was enjoy the way the dress emphasized the soon-to-wed princess' curves.

"You look astonishing," Anna said back, looking into the blue eyes staring at her through the reflection. "But it's not much of a compliment, you always do. I wish I could maintain my beauty as well as you maintain yours."

"Oh, I assure you will." She smiled, her eyes venturing down her sister's reflected body, hands following across the smooth, white silk covering Anna's abdomen.

"Do you..." Anna hesitated as Elsa's fingers came together over the her navel, "regret this?" She waved her hand, indicating the wedding dress.

Elsa shook her head gently, then settled her lips just beside Anna's ear.

"Not at all," she whispered, her sister's loose copper locks tickling the bridge of her nose. "No marriage, be it yours or mine, could ever pull us apart."

She kissed the exposed skin in the crook of Anna's neck.

"You are mine, forever."

The second time, it became clear they will be together for only a brief moment in time. After the wedding, the newlyweds had taken a chamber in the castle as their own—Elsa making sure her sister wouldn't be too far away from her, in some secluded place with only the blond Ice Master as company. As for Kristoff, neither of them could be certain of how much he knew. Sometimes, he seemed oblivious to their exchange of glances in the dining room. Sometimes, he seemed very aware of where his wife disappeared to overnight.

One of those nights, Anna looked deeply into Elsa's eyes. She couldn't have been much older than twenty nine then.

"You are so beautiful," she whispered, trailing a finger across Elsa's jaw. "It's been over ten years, Elsa, but it seems like you haven't changed at all."

The finger ventured further down the Queen's neck, reaching the curve of her breast.

"Sometimes," Anna continued, barely audible, her lips grazing the sensitive skin of Elsa's collarbone, "I lie awake at night and watch your face," she admitted, smiling at her sister's sharp intake of breath. "And sometimes I think that you're not real," she stopped to kiss the underside of the Queen's chin. "I have to touch your soft cheek to remember you're not just a sculpture carved in ice."

Neither of them told the other she noticed, but both have seen not everything was right. It was by the time the Princess was thirty two they first decided to address the matter.

"I'm starting to get wrinkles under my eyes," Anna said one night, examining her face as she brushed her hair at the dressing table. Her fingers touched the skin softly, pulling at it. "Here's one, and there's another. Must be from me smiling so much, I guess."

Elsa laid down the book she was reading and looked in her sister's direction, studying her neutral expression with furrowed brows.

"You look nothing short of wonderful," she said after a while, and meant every word. She had noticed what Anna was talking about, but thought nothing of it; it was a natural thing, getting older, and if anything Anna was going through the process with dignity.

The brush fell to the carpeted floor with a soft thud as Anna quickly made her way over to the bed, almost jumping on the Queen's lying form and straddling her waist. A breath hitched in Elsa's chest at that, but she didn't make any sound of disagreement. Anna's face was hidden from light in their current position, and she was struggling to read the intent in her sister's eyes.

"And not a single wrinkle on you," Anna said, and her voice bore just the slightest tone of anger amidst adoration. "You look just like you did on your coronation day."

Elsa kept silent for a moment, thinking.

"It might be my powers," she voiced what was constantly going through her mind for the past months, years even.

"It might be," Anna agreed, tracing a thumb just under Elsa's left eye. "I just wish we knew more, Elsa."

The talk with the trolls was something she dreaded, but yet something they all knew would come, eventually.

"Last time I saw them, they erased my sister's memories," Elsa said with a level of uncertainty in her voice. She crossed her arms across an icy, regal gown she wove that morning to wear on top of her viridian dress and looked at the man beside her, who was currently busy watching the road ahead.

"They are nice, you'll see," Kristoff answered, risking a side glance in her direction. He was well aware of the reason Elsa needed to talk to his family; if not because his wife told him, then because he could well see it himself. He spent a lot of time with both the Princess and the Queen since he became a part of the royal family, and grew to think of himself as a friend to them both, not only Anna. The face he'd been seeing for the last years remained the same each day. "I'm sure they meant the best when they did it to Anna."

Elsa just huffed in annoyance and turned her head around to look at the passing trees. A small, warm hand found its way to the back of her neck, where it rested reassuringly.

"It will be fine," her sister's quiet voice sounded just beside her ear when Anna put her head between hers and Kristoff's. She was sitting in the backseat of the sled, ever happy and not complaining, letting her elder—who was looking younger than her by now—take the front. "We'll just ask them a single question and then we can go back to the castle. Besides, they're really lovely, trust us."

This was Anna's family-in-law, after all, as much as Elsa still didn't want to think about it this way. She cast a look over her shoulder, her eyes meeting Anna's. The Princess was a good actress, but Elsa could read her too well by now; she was just as nervous as her, but covering it up with a fake smile.

The sled came to a halt after a couple minutes. The blood rushing through Elsa's head almost drowned all other sounds out.

The place looked just as she'd remembered it from all those years ago; round rocks lied in a spiral pattern, evenly covering the whole clearing. They didn't seem to notice any foreign presence until Kristoff placed a hand on one—on the troll's shoulder, Elsa noticed. The rock trembled and sprouted into a humanoid shape.

"Kristoff!" the troll exclaimed, jumping up to hug the man's hips. All around them, rocks came to life, happily surrounding both the blond man and his wife.

Through the clamor of Kristoffs and Annas that ensued, it was a miracle she'd heard the quiet voice coming from behind her.

"Queen Elsa." The troll sounded almost sad, but certainly not surprised. She turned around to look at him, recognizing the eyes of Grand Pabbie. He had not changed a single bit since the last time she saw him. Some similarities they had. "What is the reason of your visit?"

Only trolls could be so straightforward.

"Grand Pabbie," she addressed him respectfully, despite the grudge she still held. "I come to inquire about–" she stopped, not really knowing what to say further. How does one form a question about such a matter to a timeless creature?

"About your magic," he finished for her.

"Yes," she nodded, casting a brief glance to where her sister and brother-in-law were playing with one of the younger-looking trolls.

"You know how to control it." It was a statement, not a question.

She nodded again, keeping the words forming in her brain to herself. Without your help. Despite your efforts.

"It's not about control," she said instead, trying to call a polite smile to her face. "The very... nature of it is what I wish to ask about."

With a grunt, the troll reached out to her and instantly her mind screamed to retreat her hand when Pabbie's rough, stony fingers circled her wrist. She stood her place though as his hand covered her palm and waited, not wanting to disrupt any... ancient troll magic that might be in process right now.

After a few moments, he motioned for her to get closer to him—and, reluctantly, Elsa got to her knees and braced herself against the troll's wise, but harsh gaze.

"You have changed," he said at last, Elsa's ears struggling to make out his words in the surrounding noise. "But there is still fear in your heart."

His eyes left Elsa's face briefly, and she didn't need to turn around to know he looked at her sister.

"I–" she started and hesitated again. She was a Queen, had been for years now, had been ruling an entire country and yet here she was, struggling to make words leave her mouth in front of a being that would surely go back to being a stone as soon as the three of them have left for the castle. "I am not aging."

The words were blurted out before she truly registered it, and it seemed the troll had to consider them for a moment. His gaze turned from harsh to curious as he looked her over, the stony fingers still circled around her wrist.

"Not since I became an adult," she added after further consideration.

"Indeed," he agreed.

Elsa waited for what seemed like forever for him to add anything, but the troll kept his mouth shut, his eyes still glued to her face.

"That... is all you have to say?" she inquired, irritation lacing every word. When he nodded in agreement, she almost yanked her hand away. "I knew this was pointless–"

A gentle hand on top of her head was all she needed to calm down and shut her mouth.

"Afternoon, Pabbie." Anna's soft voice was a stark contrast to Elsa's near-shriek just a few seconds ago. She knelt down beside her sister, and the troll's attention immediately switched to her. He offered the Princess the warmest smile Elsa has ever seen in stone. "What Elsa meant to say," she started, smirking teasingly in her sister's direction, "is that we're worried. We don't know how long this will keep up."

The troll considered his answer.

"It might be long before you age," he spoke, addressing Elsa again. "And it might be never. I can only assume, I'm afraid."

"You don't know?" Anna asked, the cheerful expression she wore moments ago fading. "It might be never? But will she–" she bit her tongue visibly, and Elsa knew what went through Anna's mind all too well.

"Will I die?" she finished, seeing the struggle on Anna's face.

Grand Pabbie casted his eyes to the ground and hummed in thought. Elsa's breath caught in her chest. Behind her, Kristoff was playing tag with the troll children, screams of joy filling the snow-covered clearing. Above all this noise, the fast, regular thudding in her chest was louder than her own thoughts.

"Your magic is ancient," Grand Pabbie said after a while, even quieter than before. "It might be older than I am." Elsa blinked. The stone trolls themselves were older than Arendelle. If what Pabbie said was true, he could be speaking of millennia. "But the night you came here as a child was the first time I saw it in person. There is no telling where it came from, or what is its extent. Whether you will die or not is not a question I could answer right now."

"You'd never seen it before?" Anna asked once he was done. "But you knew how to help me– and how to help Elsa control it."

"Yes." He nodded. "I knew about this magic. It was the first time I saw it."

Elsa and Anna exchanged puzzled looks. There was no point in questioning him, it seemed.

"If I may give one word of advice," Pabbie continued, "be careful, Queen Elsa. Your never-changing looks may not bother a rock troll, but humans will always find a reason to fear those with power."

Though the visit only brought more questions than answers, Pabbie's last advice stuck with Elsa for days. Despite not seeing human beings for years, excluding Kristoff and Anna, he was right about them. Her people were already noticing the lack of change in their Queen. Rumors were coursing through all of Arendelle, and with those rumors came disagreement.

Some people had been unhappy even before her coronation. Having a Queen with no King was unimaginable to them, and to have one so young could only mean she was going to be reckless. Some people couldn't stomach a Monarch with revealed magical powers. Their fear of witchcraft prevented them from seeing all the good Elsa's reign had brought. And then there were people who were content with Elsa as the crown-bearer—but as soon as the rumors of her never-aging reached them, they felt betrayed. After all, Monarchs were not chosen, but at least they came and went. One that would never go meant things would never change. And people craved change.

A lone, witch Queen who kept the throne for ages. People soon began to voice their concerns. Across Arendelle, manifestations started. Even people who used to love her didn't want Queen Elsa anymore.

Luckily, they had an alternative. A married, non-magical woman in her thirties who looked her thirties, who could pass the throne to a heir with no doubt. And luckily, she was the first in line.

The manifestations, mild at the beginning, soon turned vicious. Down with Queen Elsa, they said. We need a human ruler. Don't let the beast decide the country's fate. Some went as far as painting Burn the witch on town buildings.

And soon, Arendelle erupted in thousands of voices shouting Queen Anna.

"I will not stand by idly while the people you cared for so deeply cheer for your demise."

Anna was furious. She paced back and forth in the Queen's chamber practically fuming with anger. At times, Elsa wondered if her sister didn't secretly possess some sort of fire powers; she could swear there was smoke coming from her nostrils.

"You will, Anna," she answered calmly. Anna didn't seem to notice, or just wanted to ignore her, and she continued her efforts to walk a hole in the carpet. "More so, you will give them exactly what they want."

That stopped her for once.

"You can't be serious," she hissed, turning her face towards Elsa. There was fire burning in her eyes. "You should lie down, I think. You might have a fever."

"I don't." She tried her darndest to keep a stoic face. "Try to look at this through their eyes, Love. They only spew those hateful words because they fear me. You can't blame them–"

"Of course I can blame them," Anna cut in. She walked over to where Elsa sat by the desk and looked down at her. "You have never done anything to make them fear you. They are only making things up out of boredom."

"I did freeze the entire country."

"Years ago!" Anna shouted. She kneeled beside Elsa's chair and took hold of one of her hands. "You were young and scared, and you had every right to be. Since then, you have only proved to be a great ruler."

"I was young..." Elsa sighed. Despite herself, her eyes dashed towards her reflection in the window. "I'm older now, but I still look the same as that young, frightened girl. I am the same in their eyes." She looked back at Anna's face. "For many of them, I'm not even a human, Anna. They don't trust me."

There were tears in Anna's eyes. Elsa moved to wipe them with the back of her hand, but Anna moved out of her way.

"So what it is you want me to do?" she asked in a hurt voice. There were many emotions battling for domination on her face. "You want me to take over the throne, make Kristoff a King? Give him children so they may continue the bloodline?"

Elsa nodded.

"You're crazy."

"I'm practical."

"Don't you love me anymore?"

That question struck her right through the heart.

"Of course I do," she said softly, sliding out of her chair to join Anna on the floor. "I love you more than anything in the world. If there was a way to prove how I feel, I wouldn't hesitate to do anything for you. You know that."

She kissed Anna's forehead, letting her lips linger on soft skin as she inhaled the scent of her hair.

"Prove it."

"How would you want me to?"

"Stay my Queen."

She moved away to look at Anna with a frown on her face. Anna's eyes were red from the tears she was holding back, but her lips were trembling as they always did when she was mad.

"If I do, the people will rise." Anna's brows furrowed. "There's no telling when, but I can assure you they will. If I resign on my own terms, it will happen peacefully, but an uprising could very well end in us both dying."

Anna shook her head.

"They wouldn't do that. They might bark, but they won't dare to harm you."

"Anna," she sighed. "Given a chance, they would gladly tie me to a stake and watch me burn."

"Stop saying such things."

"Stop denying them."

They eyed each other sternly, both still kneeling on the ground. Elsa noticed Anna's furrowed brows made a deep crease in her forehead; the once firm, fresh skin showed first serious signs of aging. Her eyes were just a shade duller than ten years ago, and her copper hair didn't have the shine it used to, but those were all unimportant details. She was still gorgeous, the most beautiful woman Elsa had ever seen. She was aging with grace most women would envy.

"What do you plan to do?" Anna asked, defeated.

There was a moment of silence again. "I haven't decided yet," Elsa admitted. "I was hoping you could help me with that."

"Can't you just step down and pass the crown to me?"

"I don't think this would satisfy them," she answered bitterly.

"Right. You could still try to reclaim the throne after I died."

"Anna!"

"It's the truth." Anna shrugged. "You can try to fool yourself as much as you want to, but there will come a day I'll die."

"I don't want to think about it," she muttered. Her eyes were glued to the carpet, so it came as a surprise to her when a pair of arms circled around her shoulders. Realizing just how tense she was, she let herself relax and ease into the embrace. She placed a soft kiss just behind Anna's left ear and reveled in the shudder that went through her sister's body.

"Let's not talk about it now."

The satin covers stuck uncomfortably to Elsa's sweaty body, but she tried not to think about it. Instead, she ordered all her thoughts to concentrate on the feeling of Anna's breasts pressing into her side, on how their chest collided with each breath they took and how lovely the weight of Anna's head felt on her shoulder.

Anna's hand was pressed into her chest. She had a habit of doing that—just lying next to her, listening to their breathing and feeling Elsa's heartbeat under her palm.

"Sometimes I wonder what people would say if they saw us like this."

Elsa's eyes snapped open.

"Even if we weren't sisters, or the Queen and the Princess..." Anna paused to let out a sigh. "I would still look like a forty-year-old woman with a lover half her age."

"An enthrallingly beautiful forty-year-old woman." Elsa smiled. "With a lover who's older and wiser than her."

Anna shifted on the bed, skin rubbing against skin until she was on top of Elsa. Her ribs jabbed at Elsa's stomach painfully, but it was just the kind of pain Elsa was willing to endure, if the prize was feeling her sister's body press tightly into hers. Anna braced herself herself with one hand against the mattress and looked down at her, copper hair falling around Elsa's face in a thick curtain that blocked almost all of the moonlight.

"What are you doing?" she whispered. There was darkness surrounding her, and in the darkness there was only the sound of Anna's heart so close to her, the feeling of warm breath against her lips and a vague realization that Anna's other hand slowly made its way down her side.

"Carving this into my memory," Anna muttered. Her lips brushed against Elsa's when she spoke, but she didn't kiss her just yet. "I love you so much."

Instead of waiting for an answer, she lowered herself until their lips merged into one while her fingers continued down Elsa's thigh.

When a person dear to you dies, it feels like there's a burning deep in your soul that no amount of ice-cold water can put down.

But when you know you see a person for the last time in your life, and they keep on living without you and you have no way of knowing what's going on with them anymore—it feels like the fire has spread from your soul into every figment of your being. Like you're gasping for air in the vacuum. Like you're trying to hold on to smoke.

With time, that feeling grows weaker, but it never leaves. It stays with you as a dull reminder of what you once used to have, what you may never replace however hard you try. You can never forget about it, instead you learn to live with another shadow following you every day, everywhere you go.

The memory is carved into every second of your life.

A/N: Don't shout at me yet, this is just a prologue.