did you know that 1 out of 100 males have a micro penis. So 14 guys at My school have micro willy

Nevermind it’s 0.6%. But that’s still 8 kids at my school that I walk past everyday that have micro willy

Funny story that isn’t mine.

My friend went through her roaring 20s reliving the sexual revolution our parents muddled through with drugs, sexually transmitted diseases, and copious amounts of alcohol. My friend muddled through with a sense of adventure, wild abandon, and copious amounts of alcohol.

One such moment was when she started dating Lawrence*. Lawrence was a straight-laced kind of guy: shy, sweet in a bumbling sort of way, and probably insecure. He gave her, she always says, her first and the best Valentine’s Day date to which all other dates on that day have been measured.

Larry, as you guessed, suffered from micro willy. My friend assured him of his virility and said it “wouldn’t make a difference.” She did the dutiful thing. To her friends, she wondered how this was going to work out.

Spoiler alert: it didn’t.

Finally, the magical moment came when their hormones oversaw them making out hotter and more heavily than ever before. They had time and solitude. More than enough time to finally work through the awkward First Time Y’all Having Sex moments!

Except that the whole thing from start to measly finish was an awkward First Time Y’all Having Sex moment because he stuck it in… her belly button.

Pushed all the way in and she was like, dafuq? And he just went at it like the oblivious, unsexually educated micro willy he was. He finished quickly enough and told her how great she was while she started to process the fact that he was a six pump chump and that her belly button had somehow lost its virginity.

She broke up with Larry two dates after that.

I hope some kind woman educated him about what a vagina is versus what a belly button is because, otherwise, Larry will never know more than a single eve of sexual bliss with the ladies.

*That’s not his name.