In late August, teams around MLB will wear uniforms with nicknames on the back as the first-ever “Players Weekend.” It’ll be spanning Aug. 25-27, and the jerseys will have unusual designs to inject some more personality in the game.

You can find the full actual list of nicknames the Twins will wear here:

But if we were in charge, what would we put on the jerseys? Here’s our list — and it’s all in good fun:

Jason Castro – Michaels

Chris Gimenez – The Janitor

Joe Mauer – Joseph Patrick Mauer I

Brian Dozier – Lo Conner

Jorge Polanco – Hip Hip

Miguel Sano – Power Banana

Eduardo Escobar – Caballo

Ehire Adrianza – Sedoso

Eddie Rosario – El Asesino

Byron Buxton – Beep Beep

Max Kepler – Mr. Germany Keplert (obviously)

Robbie Grossman – ROBBIE

Kennys Vargas – KEN

Ervin Santana – El Maestro

Jose Berrios – La Makina

Bartolo Colon – Big Bart

Adalberto Mejia – Big Bert

Kyle Gibson – Big Bird

Dillon Gee – Beardy

Trevor Hildenberger – Hildy

Taylor Rogers – Tyler

Ryan Pressly – Texas

Tyler Duffey – DUFFMAN OH YEAH!

Alan Busenitz – Booze

Buddy Boshers – Bully Bouch

Matt Belisle – Dad

What would your list look like?