A week since word spread that Chelsea were willing to let Cesc Fàbregas head out on loan in January, it seems that they have found a club desperate enough to take the Spaniard off their hands. Step forward West Ham United, who are currently playing a lukewarm version of Antonio Conte’s 3-4-3 system, which doesn’t appear to suit Fàbregas at all. But with Dimitri Payet becoming all coy whenever anyone mentions Paris Saint-Germain or Anywhere That Isn’t The London Stadium, West Ham could be in the market for another creative midfielder and who better than a player who last had a good game in 2014?

Still, Chelsea are willing to subsidise Fàbregas’s £160,000-a-week wages and, although he isn’t a right-back, a striker or a goalkeeper who doesn’t come clattering off his line like a rhino who’s just stepped on a drawing pin, signing a player whose best days are probably behind him is a sure sign of West Ham’s growing ambition.

It is unlikely that Conte will be unhappy to see Fàbregas go. The Italian is planning a clearout at Chelsea. West Ham would be only too glad to help themselves to Branislav Ivanovic and anything else Chelsea happen to have lying around the place, a life-size cardboard cutout of Bernard Lambourde, perhaps, or some of Dennis Wise’s old toenail clippings (still in mint condition!), while Conte is also set to ease Mikel John Obi out of west London. That won’t be easy. Mikel has been there for ever. He’s likely to get a job in the stadium store if Conte lets him go. But Chelsea have their eyes on Inter’s Geoffrey Kondogbia and Sevilla’s Steven N’Zonzi.

It might also interest Chelsea to learn that PSG are planning a January swoop for Romelu Lukaku. The French champions want to test Everton’s famous resolve, which was seen in all of its glory at Stamford Bridge on Saturday. PSG can probably start to prepare the grand unveiling.

Luke Shaw is battling to save his Manchester United career. José Mourinho knows what he’s doing. What have players such as Kevin De Bruyne and Arjen Robben gone on to achieve anyway?

Queens Park Rangers, meanwhile, are set to appoint Tactics Tim as their new manager. Let the good times roll.

Arsenal want to give Héctor Bellerín a new contract. He wants to sign one. Not that any of the above tittle-tattle matters. We’ll all be buying canned goods from tomorrow.