Can't wait til Labor Day.

That's when Alabama will enforce its new immigration law - the toughest in the country - that will keep all our undesirable illegal laborers from laboring.

And it's about time. As you know, most of Alabama's problems - Alfa, public education, poverty, health care, obesity, ignorance, tasteless roadkill, toothlessness, incest, backward tax code, bingo, homeless gopher tortoises, droopy britches, racist Constitution, cock-fighting, feral cats, lack of home rule by local government, PACT, potholes, overpopulated prisons, government corruption, high cost of insurance, unpaid oil spill claims, PR, national image and possums - is a direct result of all the Mexicans sneaking over here on their perverted Tijuana donkeys and takin' our jobs and droppin' babies.

But, as of September, we can all rest easier. Because our overworked and understaffed police and sheriff's deputies will be required to hold everyone that looks suspiciously illegal and/or brown until they can show proof of U.S. citizenship.

If your farmer's tans haven't faded by the fall, be prepared to pull up your shirts and flash your milky white moobs, men. It's what's good for Alabama, it's what's best for the country.

Thank God, Greyhound and Gov. Robert Bentley.