The Seafarer’s Preschool, located in a southern suburb south Stockholm, Sweden, has decided that it’s simply not O.K. to be a girl or a boy, and they’re going to fix this problem – by making small children massage each other’s feet and walk barefoot in the snow.

Over the weekend, the New York Times published a glowing article explaining how this school for toddlers bullies, brainwashes, and even tortures children to force them to accept some whacked-out perception of gender neutrality.

Neither faculty nor the kids are allowed to use the words “boy” or “girl,” but rather the gender-neutral term “friends” or even “hens.” Boys and girls are forcibly prevented from being able to naturally gravitate toward same-gender play groups. Little boys are made to play with kitchens, while little girls are taught to scream “No!” at the top of their lungs.

Because apparently, that’s a boy thing...?

Here’s an actual, honest-to-God excerpt from the New York Times article:

Two schools rolled out what was called a compensatory gender strategy. Boys and girls at the preschools were separated for part of the day and coached in traits associated with the other gender. Boys massaged each other’s feet. Girls were led in barefoot walks in the snow, and told to throw open the window and scream.

Wait...boys walk barefoot in the snow? That’s a normal, gendered activity? Who does that?

And it's not just the kids, either. While most of the teachers seem to be onboard with this warped program, even they aren’t exempt from the school’s Big Brothering.

“Teachers were required to review videotapes of themselves with the children, to identify subtle differences in the way they interacted with boys and girls,” the Times explained.

At one school, a gender specialist is at the ready to literally force children to comply with the school’s mandated gender-bending, whether the kids wants to or not.

“Ms. Storesund is on hand to confront classroom dilemmas: When boys in the group for 3-year-olds refused to paint, or dance, and the group threatened to split along gender lines, she was brought in to unpack the problem, tinkering with the activities until she coaxed the boys back to equal participation,” the Times explains.

One girl reportedly showed up at the beginning of the school year quiet, shy and with a penchant for staying clean. The teacher decided the little girl’s timidity was too “girlie” – her words, not mine – and taught her to scream “No!" She was encouraged to get dirty and be rude, apparently in an effort to make her more "masculine."

Here’s how that worked out:

By the time March rolled round, the girl had gotten so loud that she drowned out the boys in the class, Ms. Sandberg said. At the end of the day, she was messy. The girl’s parents were less than delighted, she said, and reported that she had become cheeky and defiant at home. But Ms. Sandberg has plenty of experience explaining the mission to parents. “This is what we do here, and we are not going to stop it,” she said.

Great. And I'm not going to stop mocking you for being the dumbest specimens on Planet Earth.