How to avoid talking about their momma’s exploding vagina…

Why is it that when I’m in a rush to get to work, people I run into are always trying to share the list of people in their lives who are dying of some random disease? “Oh okay, thanks for the pick me up you parasite. Just suck the last remaining drops of happiness right out of my fucking skull. Nothing starts my day like a cup of coffee and a story about your momma’s exploding vagina!” So I’ve come up with a method of avoiding these people…

***Warning***

Don’t try this on your own family!

***Warning***

Instead of avoiding eye contact, which we all know is pretty damn obvious and possibly insulting, I’ve started trying to say hello and goodbye in a few short words.

Unfortunately, it turns out this can be quite confusing. But please folks, I advise you to remain persistent and practice practice practice. Here’s a tip. Add a compliment to distract the simple mind of these parasitic oh-poor-me’s from the thoughts of their puppy’s ass worms.