_NOTE: These crazy politicians are NOT ranked in order of craziness. They all crazy in equal amounts. _

Rep. Ted Yoho [R-Fla.]

Just how crazy?

Claimed he sees "one side of our government, or two-thirds of it, running one hundred miles an hour toward socialism" and that conservatives like him "are like Fred and Barney in the Flintstone-mobile, trying to stop that."

Actual thing he said:

Explained his opposition to a proposed tanning-bed tax thusly: "I had an Indian doctor in our office the other day, very dark skin and two non-dark-skinned people, and I asked..., ’Have you ever been to a tanning booth?’ And he goes, ’No, no need.’ So therefore [the tax] is a racist tax, and I thought I might need to go get to a sun-tanning booth twice so that I can come out and say...I got taxed because of the color of my skin."

Fun fact:

Is a large-animal veterinarian.

Think of him as:

Joseph McCarthy, if he could deliver a calf.

Sheriff Joe Arpaio, Maricopa County, Ariz.

You’re not legit crazy without an ’80s-action-hero pal. Arpaio’s is Steven Seagal.

Just how crazy?

Has forced inmates to wear pink underwear; served them rotting food; housed them in a tent city, which he once described as a "concentration camp" and where inside temperatures have reached 145 degrees; allegedly denied Latina inmates sanitary products and forced them to sleep on sheets soiled with menstrual blood. Created an armed volunteer "posse" that has included Steven Seagal.

Actual thing he said:

"All these people that come over, they could come with disease. There’s no control, no health checks or anything. They check fruits and vegetableshow come they don’t check people? No one talks about that! They’re all dirty."

Think of him as:

A combination of Lou Dobbs, Richie Incognito, and Paul Blart: Mall Cop.

Rep. Joe Barton [R-Tex.]

Just how crazy?

Claimed carbon dioxide "is not a pollutant" because "I am creating it as I talk to you. It’s in your Coca-Cola, your Dr Pepper, your Perrier water." Apologized to then BP CEO Tony Hayward after the White House urged BP to create a Gulf-oil-spill relief fund, saying it was "a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation can be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown."

Fun fact:

Chairman emeritus of the House energy and commerce committee.

Actual thing he said:

Walking back on his BP remark: "If anything I said this morning has been misconstrued to the opposite effect, I want to apologize for that misconstrued misconstruction."

In his defense:

British petroleum companies deserve to be represented in Congress, too.

Think of him as:

Oil.

Rep. Glenn Grothman [R-Wis.]

Just how crazy?

Really hates Kwanzaa, claiming in a press release that "almost no black people today care about Kwanzaajust white left-wingers who try to shove this down black people’s throats in an effort to divide Americans." Also declared that giving state workers the day off on Martin Luther King Day "is an insult to all the other taxpayers" who want to contact government offices.

In his defense:

It does seem like all the stores are putting up their Kwanzaa decorations earlier and earlier every year.

Actual thing he said:

"Did people even know what homosexuality was in high school in 1975? I don’t remember any discussion about that at the time."

Think of him as:

The ’50s.

Sen. Rand Paul [R-Ky.]

Just how crazy?

Said the Obama administration going after BP because of the Gulf oil spill was "part of this sort of blame-game society, in the sense that it’s always got to be someone’s fault, instead of the fact that maybe sometimes accidents happen." Warned that unchecked illegal immigration would lead to a "borderless mass continent" that used a currency known among conspiracy theorists as the amero.