The Bernie Madoff scandal has its fair share of high-profile victims – there's Kevin Bacon, Steven Spielberg, Eliot Spitzer and Zsa Zsa Gabor.

But spare a thought for Craig Kugel, a human resources functionary at Madoff's firm who suddenly finds himself in a pickle over his boss's Mercedes.

Six weeks before Madoff Securities firm imploded in a $50bn alleged fraud, Kugel was dispatched to lease a new car for 70-year-old Bernie. According to court documents, he duly went to a dealership called Rallye Motors on Long Island and picked out a shiny new Merc.

A salesman at the dealership wanted financial details on Madoff Securities to authorise a leasing arrangement. Bernie didn't want to provide any documents and Kugel was therefore hurriedly made a director of the firm so that he could sign for the car as a guarantor.

Kugel has filed an objection to bankruptcy proceedings surrounding the wind-down of Madoff's firm, complaining that he is now in hock to the tune of $58,212.76 (£40,734) to cover the 36-month lease.

"Craig Kugel never intended to be a personal guarantor of the lease for Bernard L Madoff Investment Securities LLC," say documents prepared by his lawyers. "Craig Kugel has had no use or benefit whatsoever of said vehicle."

Poor old Craig joins a long, long queue of people with a grievance against Bernie, who has taken to wearing a bulletproof vest for any court-approved forays outside the Manhattan penthouse apartment where he is being held under house arrest.

Victims may, or may not, be amused to learn that a Connecticut toymaker has produced a limited edition Bernie Madoff doll holding a wad of dollar bills and sporting a gold wristwatch. It costs $149.99. Voodoo, anyone?

The economy messes with the US Mail

A carved inscription over the entrance of Manhattan's central post office is robust on the reliability of mail deliveries. Quoting Herodotus, it reads: "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds."

Postmen may be able to withstand the weather – but the economy might just stop them. The US Post Office has asked Congress for permission to suspend deliveries on its quietest days of the week. This could well mean an end to mail rounds on Saturdays.

An arm of the government, the US Post Office lost $2.8bn last year and could plunge as much as $6bn into the red for 2009. The number of letters and packages sent by Americans fell by 9bn items to 202bn – the biggest annual fall on record.

The postmaster general, John Potter, cited "a revolution in the way people communicate", pointing to the use of email and online commercial services such as internet banking. There's also, of course, the thorny issue of junk mail. Until America's banks realised that they were essentially bankrupt, barely a day went by without a deluge of credit card offerings falling on doormats across the nation.

Not sure what the mailmen will make of this. The American Postal Workers' Union has yet to respond – it has other fish to fry.

The union was locked in a bizarre battle last year over a partnership between the post office and a firm called Goin' Postal in Las Vegas. The phrase "going postal" entered common parlance after a series of incidents in the 1980s when postmen became violent and shot people. Union president William Burrus complains that its use implies that postal workers are "violent sociopaths".

Dan Brown probably already knows the crash is coming

Hold on to your nerves a week on Monday. Apparently the stockmarket is going to crash on 9 February. Or so says somebody called Reinhardt who thinks the financial world is all tied up with a Catholic group of business leaders called Legatus.

Sounds a bit dubious? Indeed. But Reinhardt has form. In a Google Finance posting in July, he predicted that "negative news" would cause a collapse in stocks on September 15. Stunned by the bankruptcy of Lehman Brothers, the Dow Jones Industrial Average duly slumped by 504 points that day in its biggest points decline for seven years.

You have been warned.