The eldest trio of Trump children, Ivanka, Donald Jr., and Eric, are unabashed liars who continually attempt to legitimize the authority of their increasingly delusional patriarch, all while profiting off his presidency.

But let's step away from politics and recall that they are really little more than spoiled offspring raised to value money and competition over, well, values of any kind. Take this 2005 interview between Howard Stern and Donald Trump, made available to Newsweek, as anecdotal proof.

During the interview, Stern asked Trump, “Do your older children get nervous every time you have another child?” (At the time, Melania was pregnant with Barron.)

“I have a friend who is also like a very rich guy,” Trump responded. “And he said how his children hate the new children coming along and everything else; I said, 'Yeah, because every time you have a child, it's 20 percent less to the people [inaudible].’”



For a moment here, they digressed to talking about having sex with Melania while she's pregnant, but Stern brought it back home, asking if Donald Jr. and Ivanka were trying to “bump off a child.”

Trump responded, “Tiffany?”

“Is there any truth to that? [Inaudible] Tiffany?” Stern said. Trump dodged the question, until Stern said, “Tell me the truth, though.”

“Yes,” Trump said.

Ouch. However, it is unsurprising to hear that Trump clannishness only extends to the upper echelon of offspring, i.e. those who have been cultivating the Trump brand for years. No word if Barron's inheritance was also a point of friction among them.



(In all fairness, this transcript does not indict Eric. He remains terrible for other reasons.)



Poor Tiff. The president, who has a habit of expressing his fatherly love in uncomfortable ways—saying he'd marry Ivanka if she wasn't his daughter, saying he liked it when she called him "daddy," attempting to cover up his son's Russia scandal, etc.—once said he was proud of Tiffany during the campaign, but "to a lesser extent" than the elder trio, because she was just out of school.

So at least she's got that going for her. To a lesser extent.

Sarah Rense Sarah Rense is the Associate Lifestyle Editor at Esquire, where she covers tech, food, drink, home, and more.

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