Not every police agency provides a log of its responses, and few do it with the finesse of the Forest Grove Police Department. Every week, we post the goings on as provided by this community 25 miles west of Portland, not because it's earth-shatteringly important, but because it provides a glimpse into the world of modern small-town policing.

During the past week, Forest Grove officers were engaged in more than 446 activities, both reported and self-initiated.

October 13

* Police received a report of a person screaming the words "pickles" and "sprinkles" nonsensically late in the evening. Officers were unable to locate anyone causing a disturbance.

* A caller reported that a woman was walking around an apartment complex yelling about killing the police. Officers contacted the woman who agreed to quiet down and move along.

* A post office employee called police after a woman wandered into the location stating she did not know who or where she was or what she was doing. Officers found the woman extremely intoxicated but there were no signs of criminal activity. She was warned about walking around town under the influence; her husband picked her up.

October 14

* Police were called after a game of tag between second graders escalated to a point of name-calling, sending one boy home in tears, prompting the boy's older sisters to confront one of the children. Officers determined that no crime had been committed.

* A woman called police concerned that Forest Grove police were training children to harm her. They are not.

* A caller reported a suspicious person in their garage. Police located a man with multiple injuries who was disoriented and extremely intoxicated. He was evaluated by medical services and released to a responsible party.

October 15

* Police responded to a senior living center where a man was trapped in his apartment after he had fallen and nearly severed his foot. Officers kicked down the door and rendered aid until medical services arrived.

* Officers checked on a man seen in distress wandering in a neighborhood. Police learned he was mentally impaired, had become lost and had begun to panic. The man's parents called police shortly after to report him missing. The parents and son were reunited.

* Beaverton Police asked FGPD to contact the family of an intoxicated juvenile they were holding. After contacting his family, officers learned the juvenile had lied about his identity and age and that he was out on felony probation. Beaverton police took it from there.

October 16

* A man called police after his wife took several of his belongings to the end of the road to be freely given away. The woman told officers she was upset with her husband and was not interested in any reconciliation resources. The two agreed to stay away from each other for the night.

* Marijuana plants were reported stolen from a residence.

* Police received multiple separate reports of batteries stolen from vehicles along Sunset Drive.

October 17

* A woman reported that she had been injured by an unnamed person. When officers said they would dispatch medical, the woman refused stating that she did not want EMS or any ordinary officer to respond, but rather, she needed a "knight in shining armor" who would listen and care for her.

* Police received a tip that a woman was waiting for a bus to Hillsboro in order to go and kill her boyfriend. Officers contacted the woman who confirmed that she was going to confront the now-ex boyfriend, but had no intention of killing him. She was, however, arrested for unlawful possession of a firearm when officers located a handgun on her person.

October 18

* A pizza delivery man reported a couple, who seemed agitated, screaming back and forth. Officers contacted the couple, who were fine but were just speaking loudly in German.

* Police received multiple calls regarding vehicles that were being repaired by a company that is now out of business.

* A night shift officer, while on patrol, spotted a man drive past him who had several arrest warrants. Officers were able to stop the subject and added driving with a suspended license to the list, when they took him to jail.

October 19

* An officer on break at Starbucks located a small child clutching a book looking for someone to read to her. The officer read the story and learned all about the intricacies of attending preschool. The officer promised he would pack a new book in his patrol bag for any future encounters.

* Police broke up a fight between two men at a local bar after a few games of pool got heated and turned physical.

* A woman sent a large sum of money to a man overseas who had professed his love and was now requesting thousands of dollars for various expenses. Officers believe this is part of a "sweetheart swindle," a type of scam in which fraudsters use fake identities and romance to woo victims into sending money. The FGPD recommends never sending money to someone you don't know personally.