But these conditions are kind of like eating at Taco Bell. It may sound awesome in theory, but personal experience may leave you with internal bleeding.

Sometimes you hear on the news about weird medical conditions that actually cause more sex than normal. And when you hear about the poor dude whose condition caused him to have sex with 300 women you think, hell, how do I catch that shit?

5 Hypersexuality

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Commonly referred to as nymphomania by Internet perverts and perverts who still eschew technology but like the idea just the same; hypersexuality is what happens when your libido cranks the dial to 11 and leaves it there.

Frat guys throughout history have fantasized about dating a "total nympho," thinking they'll wind up with a special lady friend with a sex drive that rivals a three dicked hummingbird on E. It's been the subject of more Penthouse letters than can possibly be counted.



"And this one time, she tried to have sex with me while she was already having sex with me. It was awesome."

For menfolk, the condition is known as satyriasis, which is Greek for "having the wang of a goat-legged man" and it means you are now Wilt Chamberlain, minus the distraction of basketball.

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Why it Would Suck:

A woman in the UK developed hyerpsexuality after suffering a massive brain hemorrhage, which seems like a really awesome superhero background story. Not expected to live, she surprised everyone by waking up and trying to ride her husband like a Shetland pony.

Some of you guys are still rooting for the disorder at this point, but that's because you're probably assuming the "nympho" only has the hots for you. Unfortunately, that's not how compulsions work. The victim estimates she boned about 50 random, and probably surprised, strangers in the two years since her accident.

Her husband frequently gets called home from work because she's in the driveway trying to bone some random dude. Nowadays she can no longer work, and her ability to focus is on par with an eight-year-old armed with a television remote which, in this case, is shaped like a wiener.

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Yeah, it turns out pretty much anything can stop being fun once you're only doing it due to a short-circuit in your brain. And this is actually worse than say, compulsive over-eating or sleeping, because those don't carry a stigma that will make you famous around the neighborhood and, well, on websites like this one.