Parodypasta: Cursed Yu-Gi-Oh Deck

There is a cursed Yu-Gi-Oh deck out there that will bring misfortune to anyone who owns it. The way you can tell it apart from other sets in the franchise is that every card has a line of text written somewhere under their description that reads, "This deck is haunted. Lol. Sucks to be you."

If you receive this deck, immediately bring it to a used book store as this is the only place it will accept being dropped off at. Should you actually manage to sell or trade it to another source while it is in your possession, it will reappear in your home and start to cause trouble for you again within three hours. It will also start to harass your neighbors who will blame you for the pranks the card set plays on them. That is why it is important to trade it in or sell it at your local used bookstore before its antics get out of hand.

Also, don't attempt to bless the deck or rid it of its dark energy as it will just laugh at you and spit tomato juice in your face. This Yu-Gi-Oh deck was created by the black magic of the Illuminati Wizards to get back at the Freemasons for not inviting them to a company BBQ in 1998. They created the deck by taking the best cards currently owned by members of the organization, sticking them in a large black cauldron filled with dry ice, and stirring the cards around while singing the Pokémon theme song.

This blatant disrespect for the Yu-Gi-Oh franchise (which isn't like Pokémon in the least), summoned the spirit of a game genie who began to lecture them on the differences between the franchises. While the game genie was distracted, the Illuminati Wizards said an incantation that trapped it in the deck of cards.

The game genie swore to seek revenge on anyone who dared to own the deck as it was angry about being trapped inside the card set against its will. With that, the Illuminati Wizards gave the Freemasons the deck at a Christmas gift exchange party. The Freemasons blindly accepted the gift, as it is well known that they like collecting all sorts of card games such as Magic the Gathering, Pokémon, and Munchkin.

It wasn't until they decided to use the deck in their annual Yu-Gi-Oh dueling competition that they learned of the dark powers the cards possessed. The set always made them lose a duel, no matter how good their cards were. The game genie also played pranks on anyone who got near the deck. It was clear that the unholy power of the cursed object was out of control.

The Freemasons tried to send the deck back to the Illuminati Wizards with a note of apology for not inviting them to the company BBQ after they learned about the reason the Illuminati had sent the deck in the first place. However, the deck would always come back within three hours of sending it off and continue to play pranks on the Freemasons.

It was only by chance that the Freemasons were able to get rid of the deck, when a member named Brother Yom accidentally traded it with some other items at a local bookstore. When the deck didn't come back they were so happy to be rid of it that they hosted a game night and of course made sure to invite the Illuminati Wizards. They had learned their lesson. From that moment on, they would never forget to invite the Illuminati Wizards to another company event again.

Today the Yu-Gi-Oh deck travels from one used bookstore to the next, haunting anyone who is unlucky enough to take it home with them. It pranks its owner endlessly, and often murmurs bad jokes or puns to itself when it is not being used. It also causes its owner to lose at every card game or tabletop game they attempt to play while in possession of the card set. Eventually, it makes various game pieces go missing from any other game set the person owns, making it impossible to play any other game but Yu-Gi-Oh. This forces the owner to use the haunted Yu-Gi-Oh deck which will never let them win a match, even if they have the perfect hand.

Many people have tried to free the spirit of the game genie in order to be left with an epic Yu-Gi-Oh card deck, as it happens to be the best collection of game cards ever put into a single deck. However, the game genie decided a long time ago that it enjoys pulling pranks on people way too much and always sabotages any attempt to send it home.

That is why it always ends up back at a used bookstore, ready to haunt the next unsuspecting person who buys it thinking they got the deal of the century, as it is always on the shelf at a discounted price.

So if you ever see an impossibly good Yu-Gi-Oh deck at a used bookstore, that seems to be on sale, make sure for your own well-being that it doesn't have the infamous words, "This deck is haunted. Lol. Sucks to be you."Printed on the cards. For if those words are present and you bring the card set home unaware of their dark power, you will become another victim of its twisted sense of humor, bad puns, and endless pranks.