The BJP headquarters on Ashoka Road today erupted in wild celebrations yet again within the space of 96 hours, this time over the Congress Working Committee’s rejection of Sonia and Rahul Gandhi’s offers to resign. As soon as the news was announced, ecstatic workers thronged the headquarters which wore a festive look, as 3000 kgs of ladoos were ordered and caparisoned elephants at the entrance hailed the BJP’s second triumph. Indeed, the revelry on display rivaled that witnessed on May 16th when the Lok Sabha results were announced.

“This is as big a deal as winning as the 2014 Lok Sabha results, man,” a BJP leader told The UnReal Times, while indulging in the BJP’s traditional method of spreading joy – feeding a ladoo to his colleague. “We were so worried that the Congress would dump the Gandhis,” he said, “and groom a leader who actually works for the people and gives us a tough fight. Now, five more years of Gandhis being in charge means BJP can focus on mission 350+ in 2019 without too much tension. We’ve already coined our slogan for 2019 – agli baar, phir Modi sarkaar.”

Even Narendra Modi, otherwise busy with cabinet selection in Gujarat Bhavan, came over to partake in the revelry, as soon as he heard the news. “Phew. I was getting a bit unnerved with all the high expectations I have aroused. So to now learn that Shahzada will be still around as my principal challenger was music to my ears. I guess I can chill a bit and even slack on my job, now,” he guffawed, as he lovingly embraced Rajnath Singh. His aides pointed out that Modi’s biggest challenge will now be to win another term as BJP’s prime ministerial candidate rather than actually becoming the prime minister for a second time.

Meanwhile, celebrations were not as spontaneous in the Congress headquarters as Congress workers went through ritual motions of feeding ladoos to posters of Rahul Gandhi. The ‘Priyanka lao, desh bachao’ clique looked on sullenly before joining in the proceedings.

However, 10, Janpath witnessed noisy scenes late at night as a frustrated Rahul Gandhi reportedly kept hollering, “For God’s sake, we got just 44 seats! What will it take for them to chuck me??”

(Inspired by this tweet from IndiaSpeaksPR)