Chapter 24

~ Anna ~

This can't be happening.

Anna sat on the bed, clutching her head. This can't be happening!

The screams. The ship breaking. Ice crackling over her. Even now, she could hear it all – could feel it. She shuddered, pulling her arms tight around herself. Oh God, how many died out there? She screwed her eyes shut. She couldn't– didn't want to believe that her sister could take another person's life.

But that was Ajax's blood that was fresh on the ground.

Am I running away from the truth? Have I always known all along, that Elsa had it in her?

A week after the Great Thaw, disturbing rumours had circulated among the royal guards. Apparently, two who'd gone to her sister's ice palace with Hans, in the midst of a drunken stupor, had claimed that Elsa attempted to murder the Duke's bodyguards. Of course, most of the castle staff had dismissed them immediately, but Anna couldn't help but be curious.

"So, what happened on the North Mountain exactly? You know, with the Duke's men?" Anna said to Elsa during dinner.

Elsa's fingers locked onto the table edge. "I tried to kill them."

"Well, you had to. I mean, they shot at you."

"No, you don't get it. I defeated them already... but I was still trying to kill them."

Anna's jaw fell, and she realized it too late.

"I was just so… angry. I wanted to make sure they could never hurt me again. One man, I can still remember his face. My ice was this close to stabbing him! And–and... I tried pushing the other off the cliff. He. Was. Weaponless. Anna, I nearly pushed an unarmed man to his death." Elsa stared at her hands. "It took Hans to stop me; that's how lost I was." A fog rose from Elsa's body.

"The Duke! He's the one responsible. He told them to kill you."

"He wanted to stop the winter."

"So did Hans." Anna slammed her fork down. "Doesn't mean they were right!"

"Don't you understand? No matter how many times we try to deny it, it doesn't change the fact I didn't need to hurt them! I…became the monster everyone feared."

"You are not a monster."

"You weren't there. You didn't see how scared they were! Anna, our guards were afraid of me!"

"They are wrong to be!"

There was no reply, so Anna continued. "Elsa, come on! I know you never meant to hurt anyone. Look, I was the one who pushed you in the first place. I was the one who left Hans in charge. I was the one who angered Marshmallow." She waved her hands. "Look around you! Everything's fine now. The summer's back, your magic's under control again. Arendelle loves you!"

Elsa's head slumped onto the table. A moment later, her words came out muffled against tablecloth. "We got off lucky this time. My winter froze the entire land. All the people out there caught in the storm… the ships trapped at sea… the dead crops… I am their queen, and one outburst almost destroyed everything Papa built. If you haven't saved me when you did–"

"But I did! And I know you tried. You just didn't know love was the key. But now you do! This will never happen again."

Elsa looked up, and her eyes were wet with tears. "How can you be sure of that?"

"Because I will never leave your side."

A hint of a smile flashed over Elsa's face. But her lips twisted into a scowl right after. "No! You are not going to cage yourself to me!"

"That's not for you to decide! We were apart for so long. Never again, Elsa. Never again."

"Don't be stupid. You can't stay with me forever."

"No, you are the one being stupid, and scared, and paranoid, and ahhhh–!" Anna clenched her knuckles. "Why must you always make everything so difficult?! Love will thaw! You said it yourself! So what if you messed up once because, hello? Some idiots attacked you? I am not going to leave you again, and that's final."

Elsa's chest heaved up and down. Frost prickled over the utensils. "Then I want you to promise me one thing."

Anna's heart began to race. "What? Chocolates? Kristoff bathing everyday? Or–"

"I want you to stop me if I lose control again, no matter what it takes." Elsa's eyes locked onto hers. "Even if it means killing me."

Anna jumped to her feet. "NO!"

"Promise. Me."

Anna darted forward and threw her arms around Elsa. "I don't care what they said. You are not a monster. You are not a murderer."

"Anna..."

"I love you, and I will never, ever let you lose control again."

Elsa let out a sob and hugged her. The fog dissipated into the air, and the room grew warm again–

Knocks on the door snapped Anna out of her reverie. As she rubbed her face with a fist, they sounded again.

"Kristoff, I told you I don't wanna see anyone!"

"It's me."

Elsa! For an instance, relief filled Anna. Then she remembered why she was here in the first place.

"Go. Away."

"Anna?"

"Go aw–" Her treacherous throat choked on saliva. "Go–" Dammit!

Anna gritted her teeth and gulped down hard. When she found her voice again, she let loose. "You attacked my friends! You destroyed their ship! Go away! I don't want to see you! Go!"

"Please. Just let me explain."

"YOU SLAPPED ME!"

"Anna, I am sorry. I am so, so sorry. Open the door please…"

"I don't care! Just leave me ALONE!" She hurled a pillow at the door. It made an immensely satisfying thump.

"Please…"

"GO–!"

Anna heard a scrap, like a hand rubbing down the length of her door. Then it faded.

She waited, hearing nothing else but the huffs of her breaths. Elsa was gone then. Anna thought she'd be contented, but instead, she felt only a sense of loss.

Why did everything go so wrong?

She heard a sniffle and her blood ran cold.

Don't say anything. Elsa made this happen. She deserves it.

A choking gasp came.

Anna clawed at her arm, fighting to hold onto righteous anger. Don't you dare comfort her! Don't. You. Dare.

"I am sorry, Anna. I am so sorry."

There was a thump, then a shadow extended from under the door. Anna realized Elsa was slumped against it. The way I did all those years ago. Now I am the one shutting her out.

"Elsa?"

"Sorry..." Elsa choked out between her sobs. "I am sorry. Iamsorry–Iamsorry–Iamsorry..."

Anna flung the door open and Elsa let out a startled cry, falling over backwards. Anna caught her, sweeping her arms around her sister in a tight embrace. Elsa's eyes were wide, and tears dripped from her chin.

"Anna?"

"Don't say anything." She pressed her forehead onto Elsa's shoulder. "Just…don't say anything." Her cheek still burnt, so this was all she could manage for now.

They huddled on the floor weeping together.

Anna winced as Markus dabbed at her cheek.

"It's not too bad." The physician peered at her over the top of his half-moon specs. "Feh! Those cuts and bruises I had to treat you for over the years." He turned. "Your Majesty, more ice, please."

Elsa flicked her finger, sending swirls of glittering white into the cloth. "Will it leave a mark?"

"Thank the Lord no. The swelling will subside in a day or two. Your Highness, hold the cloth like this, and apply pressure. Understand?"

Anna nodded.

"Hmmm… some herbs and honey tonight would do your blood circulation wonders. I'll pass word to Finn." The elderly man tutted. "All that ruckus at the docks! You'd have thought the Southern Isles was invading. And just who the Devil slapped you, Your Highness?"

"I did," Elsa said.

Markus twisted around so quickly that Anna heard a crack from his neck. "Pardon me! I didn't mean to!"

"Don't be. It was my fault." Elsa's eyes were lowered, and her fingers gripped onto her shivering knees.

It was hard to believe that the force of nature an hour ago was the same person before her right now – this woman who could be nothing but the kindest, fairest and most dutiful queen Anna had ever known.

Still keeping pressure on the cloth, Anna scooted over and held Elsa's hand. Elsa flinched and jerked her hand away. Anna gasped. She thought she felt–

"You are hurt!" Anna wrestled Elsa's arm over. Gently but firmly, she peeled open her fist.

Panic seized her. A cut stretched across Elsa's palm, and the skin around it was swollen. Oh God, she could even see the flesh inside. So much red! Was it still bleeding?

Elsa tried to tug her hand away but Anna was stronger. "Elsa, how did you get this? Was it during the fight? None of the arrows even got close to you, but this–"

"I cut myself on a broken glass yesterday. I was careless."

Markus dashed forward and grabbed Elsa's wrist. "Careful!" Anna said.

"Your Majesty! Why didn't you tell about this?"

"I didn't want to trouble you. It's just a small cut."

The physician bared his teeth. "This! Is an incision wound! Do you want it to get infected? I have to clean it right away."

Elsa squirmed weakly as Markus steered her towards the basin. He pulled out a fresh cloth and soaked it. "Goodness. How did you even cut yourself so deeply?"

"Will it leave a mark?" Anna said.

"Not if I am here. Your Majesty, I'm sorry, but this will hurt." Markus swiped at Elsa's palm. She whimpered and bit down onto her free hand.

"Be gentle!" Anna moved to help, or intervene. She wasn't sure herself what she intended, but Markus shot her a glare and she dropped back down.

For the next ten minutes, Anna paced about, switching the hand pressing on her cloth and nibbling on her lips. Throughout, she couldn't take her eyes off the two. Marcus was unerring as he cleaned Elsa's wound, getting rid of all dirt and glass fragments. Watching Elsa tremble as Markus smeared medical paste onto her palm, Anna had to clutch her own hand; she almost felt the pain herself. Why was Markus so forceful?

"So!" She tried to distract Elsa. "Here we are once again, back at Markus's office."

Despite her agony, Elsa smiled bravely. "Just like kids."

"Just like kids," Anna echoed.

"Your Majesty, you're lucky I was here. This cut could've split open any time." He wrapped a bandage around her hand, making low angry noises as he did so.

"Can't you use something nicer?" Anna asked. "I mean, that bandage is so ugly, it ruins her image."

Markus sighed. "Your Highness, I assure you if this cut doesn't heal properly, she'd have a lot more to worry about."

Elsa snickered. "Silly, let him do his job."

The old man secured the dressing in place. "There! Please rotate your hand, is it restricting your movement?"

Elsa did as he asked, then shook her head.

"Good. Okay, listen. I want you to minimize usage of this hand at all times, understand? And if you feel any sharp pain, you are to come back to me immediately, understand? And lastly, the two of you are to return for another check-up two days later, understand?"

Anna nodded with her sister.

"All right then, my dear Queen and Princess, rest here for now. I'll pass word to Gerda. Please do not touch anything again. I still miss poor Carlos you know..."

Oh crap, he still remembers his pet leech. "Well I wouldn't have, um… hurt Carlos if Elsa didn't trick me into thinking you were gonna use it on us."

Markus shook his head, but Anna caught a small smile on his face. "It's good to see the two of you together again." He closed the door.

His footsteps grew soft. For a long time, Elsa and she said nothing. Elsa fidgeted in her seat, studying her bandage as though it was the most interesting thing in the world. Anna simply sat there playing with her hair. Under the dampness of the cloth, the heat of her sister's slap pulsated. Anna doubted she could ever forget it.

Nor could she forget that an entire trade delegate was destroyed. Rasmus, Li Hua and countless others hurt. And how many died with the Splendor?

"I know what you are thinking." Elsa averted her gaze.

Anna walked over and dropped to a knee. She took Elsa's fingers in hers. The bandage was a dull, yellow-white wrapping, with little bits of thread sticking out. It really didn't suit Elsa's flawless skin. She caressed the back of her sister's hand and planted a healing kiss on it.

Elsa was cold, and for a second, fear ripped into Anna. Her head snapped up.

The older girl's eyes were wedged close. Even now, she fights the winter. She's protecting me.

"Elsa…" Anna intertwined her fingers with her sister's, feeling a shiver run through. Her tears threatened to spill again. "We will get through this together. Please, just tell me what's wrong."

Elsa locked eyes with her. "I was scared. I saw the crossbows, and–and– I just lost it. I am so sorry, I should never have suspected you, should never have hit you."

At the mention of 'hit you', a lump grew in Anna's throat. It took several seconds before she could speak. "I should have sent you a letter first, informing that I was bringing Weseltoners over."

"No. It's not your fault. Anna. It's mine."

"What about Rasmus? You were furious when you saw him. You know him, don't you? Did he hurt you before?"

Elsa nodded, keeping her lips in a tight line. For a long time, Anna simply waited, but Elsa would say nothing else.

Anna wasn't about to push her sister now. Just when she was getting up, Elsa clutched on to her shirt. "Can we start over again? Will– will you let me be your sister again?"

She pulled Elsa in tight, wrapping arms around her waist. "What're you talking about? You've always been my sister!"

Elsa's dress was cool against her cheek. Much better than the cloth. Anna closed her eyes and listened to her sister's heartbeats. Elsa smelled like home. She missed this… God, she missed this so much. How could she have left in the first place? Stupid. Stupid. Stupid!

What would I do without you?

Elsa kissed the top of her head. "I'll explain everything later. No more secrets this time."