I met my best friend in college for lunch. As we sat at our table, waiting for our food, she showed me a pen she’d bought at the zoo.

I laughed. “It looks like a penis.” My laughter died when I realized she wasn’t smiling.

A look of confusion crossed her face. “I wouldn’t know. I don’t have much experience with that.”

“Then, I take it back.” I picked up the pen and looked at it again. “I’m not sure what it looks like, but it doesn’t look like any animal I’ve ever seen.” I tried my best to lead the conversation away from penises.

“How does it look like a penis?” She asked. “I’d like to know. I’ve never seen one.”

I wanted to shift the conversation away from this awkward topic.

Our food arrived, and we were silent while we ate. I hated myself for opening my mouth and saying what I had. The conversation shifted to other things as we ate, and I thought the whole thing was over.

Later, after we’d gone home, she called me.

“You know you I’ve had a crush on you forever. I’ve had dreams about you naked.”

“I’m so glad I didn’t scar you after the pen comment at lunch.” I laughed. “Wow, I never thought anyone would like me like that. Not after all the bullying, I went through.”

As we talked and she seemed to get more comfortable talking about sex and things. “I have a question,” she said. “Could I see you naked?”

I was quiet for a moment. “I don’t have any problems with that since we’re good friends. Just because I’m letting you see me naked doesn’t mean I have feelings for you like that.”

“That’s fine. It’s just I’ve always wanted to see you naked. This is a dream come true.” She told me.

We met later in the week at her place as she lived in an off-campus apartment alone. No roommates to worry about. We chatted for a bit and had a couple beers. After that, we decided to get down to business.

I stood and unzipped my jeans.

“I want to touch it, not just look at it.” She said.

I hesitated. “Wait. That’s not what we talked about. I’m willing to let you see me naked so you can see what a dick looks like. We didn’t say anything about touching.”

Her face flushed, and she sounded angry. “Why not? I want the full experience. I don’t want to just look I want to touch.”

“Just remember this is what you wanted. I don’t want this to turn into something it’s not. We’re just friends.”

She nodded. “I’m just curious.”

I pulled my dick out of my pants. She stared at me for a moment and then she was on her knees with my dick in her mouth.

I was in shock. This was the girl who didn’t even know what dick looked like. “What are you doing?” I managed to ask.

She stopped sucking long enough to tell me, “I told you I wanted to know what it was like. Not just see it.”

This wasn’t what we’d agreed on. My friend wanted to see it and touch it. Now, she was giving me a blowjob. “I’m not comfortable with this,” I told her.

“Please, let me do it. This is something I’ve dreamed about.”

“Fine. Do what you want. Just don’t beg. I hate people begging.”

After this, we formed a friend with benefits thing. The feeling was all on her side. Don’t get me wrong I loved the physical pleasure, but I didn’t have feelings for her. I kept things clear with her, told her that I didn’t want to take advantage of her.

“I don’t care if you don’t have feelings for me. I’ve wanted this for so long. I’m happy with it this way.” She told me.

I still felt uncomfortable. To me, it seemed like my friend was oblivious to what the complications to this situation could be. She kept telling me that she’d had this crush on me for so long and what we were doing was still a dream come true for her.

One day, after I got to her apartment, I tried to tell her this thing was off. “Look, I don’t think we should continue this. I think you’re in for a letdown. You know I don’t have feelings for you, and I don’t want to continue like this.”

“Please, just let me do it one more time. I love sucking your dick and swallowing your cum. Please?” She begged.

As usual, I gave in because I just couldn’t stand her begging. She pulled my cock out of my pants and went to work. I got into it as she was so good at this. I came, she swallowed. We cleaned up, and as part of our mutual benefits, we watched a movie before I went on my way.

I realized that I needed to make this whole situation stop when I tried to borrow some paper for a class.

“I forgot all my stuff for class, can I borrow a sheet or two of paper?” I asked.

She was quite strict and had everything on a budget. “I only have so much. I have to make it last.”

“It’s just a sheet or two of paper.”

“I don’t know. I really need to make it last.”

“Give me some paper, and I’ll let you play with my dick,” I told her.

That perked her up. “Really? Here.” She handed me several sheets of paper.

It was wrong of me to say that to her, but at the time I needed her to give me a sheet of paper. The professor hated me anyway, and at that point was staring at me like I was disrupting the whole class.

At the end of the day, which had been one stressful situation after the other, I just wanted to go home and get some rest. As I trudged along towards home, she caught up with me.

“Hey. It’s time for you to keep your end of the bargain.” She walked along beside me.

“What are you talking about?”

She frowned. “You said I could play with your dick if I gave you some paper.”

“Are you fucking kidding me? I had a rough day, I’m tired, and just want to go home. Can we take a rain check?”

“So, What? You lied? You get me all hot and bothered and then take it away? How could you do that to me?” She sounded like one of those obsessed chicks you see on tv shows or movies.

“Fuck. Fine. Do you what you want.” We finished the walk to my place. I let her do what she wanted, but I didn’t have any feelings about it physical or emotional. All I could think was this was no fun anymore. At first, it was so exciting because it was a first-time thing for both of us.

As time went on, our friendship suffered. I wasn’t a person to her. All she saw was a dick at her disposal. We didn’t go to the movies or the mall. We didn’t meet for lunch at our regular places anymore. All she wanted from me was to satisfy her fantasy.

My sweet, innocent friend was gone. I wished I could take it all back and refused her. Maybe I should have found her some pictures on the internet or something. I hated myself for allowing this.

I’m sure some guys that read this will think I’m crazy. Who wouldn’t want a girl that wanted your dick all the time? Her obsession was ruining us.

We no longer just talked like we used to.

One of our conversations went like, “Hey, I had a great day. I want to tell you about it.” I said.

“Great. Tell me,” my friend replied.

“I got to see my family and go out to dinner. The food was fantastic.” I told her. I had such a great time with my family, talking and eating great food.

“Wow, that’s awesome.” She answered.

“Um, okay,” I said.

She looked at me with a frown. “What’s wrong?”

“Well, it seems like you are just giving the same answers every time you respond.

She smiled. “I was listening. I promise.”

I stared at her for a moment. “It’s okay. So, I’d love to go again.”

“Go where? What do you mean?”

My heart sank. I replied, “The restaurant…you weren’t listening.”

She smiled at me with a coy look. “I’m sorry. I couldn’t stop thinking about playing with your dick.”

I took a deep breath. This had gone too far. I said I had to go and left. My friend’s yells to come back followed me, but I just walked away.

After a few days of not talking to each other, not sitting near each other in our shared classes, I decided to try to get our friendship back on track.

I took her to this secluded, wooded area that we sometimes went to hang out alone. No one ever went out there, and that was what we loved about it.

I’d taken a blanket so we could lay on it and watch the clouds, trees, and birds. I was lying there, trying to talk to my friend. I wanted her to hear my concerns and how I felt we couldn’t talk at all anymore.

She said, “I know how to make you feel better.” She reached for my zipper and unzipped my pants.

I stopped her, pushing her hand away and sat up. “This is serious. We need to talk.”

She pushed me back onto the blanket, and I allowed her to do her thing. As she sucked my cock, I tried to talk to her, but she wasn’t listening. I gave up and an hour passed by. It was time to go.

“Come on. I need to use the bathroom.”

“You’re just trying to get me to stop. Stay here. I can make you feel better.” She put her mouth on me again.

This time I did push her off. “I need to use the bathroom.” I got up and left her there.

When I got to the restroom, I was in so much pain down there it scared me. I went back to her. “We have to stop. My dick is on fire, it hurts.”

She wouldn’t listen.

“Look, you made me raw sucking my dick so long. It’s not good. We need to stop.”

She pleaded. “You don’t know that. Let me show you. You’ll feel better after I suck on you more.”

“No!” I shouted. “No more.” We’re done. I left her there.

I went to the doctor to be sure it was just the length of time we had oral sex that was causing the pain. He assured me it was and told me to take it slow next time.

I spent a couple of months away from my friend and then tried to reconnect with her. Try to get my old friend back. We worked for several months, but nothing was ever the same. So, I broke it off with her. I still wish I’d never done what I did with her.