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Kanye West Announces Bid For The Papacy

Kanye West has reportedly announced plans to run for the papacy during Sunday night’s MTV Video Music Awards.

In a candid and sincere speech at the VMAs, the 38-year-old rapper concluded his remarks by announcing a papal bid for the election after Pope Francis retired.

“I don’t know what I finna lose after this. It don’t matter, though; It’s not about me. It’s about doctrine. New doctrine. Clergy with new doctrine. Priests who believe in celibacy,” West said. “And yes, as you probably could’ve guessed by this moment, I have decided to run for pope.”

It was not clear whether or not West was serious about his plans for running for the papacy. He told the audience that if they were wondering “Did he smoke some incense before he came out here,” then “the answer is yes…I packed up a little thurible. I knocked the edge off.”

The declaration came after his reflections on whether he would have acted differently during the infamous 2009 St. Louis Catholic Conference incident when he grabbed the microphone from Cardinal Burke during a speech about the Mass.