For many kids growing up, the dream of playing sport is filled with anxiety and fear that their sexuality will make them the victims of discrimination.

Neil Hay has been involved in rugby and its administration for over 40 years, and has just been appointed the director of the Melbourne Rebels.

He is also the head coach of Melbourne's gay rugby team, the Chargers.

The Melbourne Chargers formed in 2009 with the goal to create an environment where anyone interested in playing rugby could do so in an inclusive and safe environment.

They and a number of other teams are part of the gay rugby union competition.

While the formation of these teams have been incredibly important to giving gay and bi men the opportunity to play the sport, many hope that one day there will be no need for separate leagues.

This week the Australian Rugby Union officially announced its support for same-sex marriage, as did a number of other sport's governing bodies.

Neil Hay says he received a few negative comments when he started coaching the Chargers. ( Supplied: Nicola Hay )

Since the same-sex marriage campaign began, Hay said he and his players had noticed a spike in homophobic vilification.

"I think that a lot of it wasn't there before, which is now being heard both in the press and directed to some of the individuals, and they're feeling pretty raw about the whole campaign," he said.

"I'm quite surprised at how much vilification there has been there."

'Went to lend a hand, now I'll never leave'

Seven years ago when Hay was initially asked to help the Chargers he thought it would simply be a matter of lending a hand for a couple of weeks.

"I went along not knowing what sort of quality of rugby it would be — the level and quality of rugby wasn't what I'd been used to coaching," he said.

"I didn't have any real fears about whether they were straight or gay, but it was quite a fun sort of first training session."

The Melbourne Chargers formed in 2009 with the goal to create an safe environment for anyone who wanted to play rugby. ( Supplied: Melbourne Chargers )

Hay said while the majority of his friends and family have been supportive of his decision, there were inevitably some negative comments.

"There were quite a few comments like 'aren't you worried about what people will say about you, aren't you worried that people will think that you're gay'?" he said.

He said sadly he still occasionally hears such comments.

"I tell them that there's no difference in coaching a gay team to a straight team," he said.

While some people, including the likes of Tony Abbott, claim that the days of discrimination against LGBTIQ people in Australia are over, Hay said the "bad days" remained ahead.

"People are still showing prejudice against homosexuals," he said.

Hay said as far as he could see, he did not think he would ever leave the team.

"Whether it's in a coaching capacity or whether it is part of their committee or whether it's just being part of their social fabric."

'These guys always wanted to play, but were too afraid'

Hay said it was everyone's hope that eventually there would be no need for gay rugby clubs, that eventually players would be accepted in any club.

"It doesn't matter whether you're straight, gay or otherwise," he said.

"But we certainly don't feel that we are at that stage in competitive sport at the moment."

Most of the players had no experience playing the sport before joining, many of the men having grown up afraid to join any sport teams out of fear of discrimination.

Melbourne Chargers will compete this Saturday in the 'Bledisloe cup of gay rugby', the Purchas Cup. ( Supplied: Melbourne Chargers )

"They'd always wanted to play a sport, be involved in sport, and rugby was the first sport that they'd seen that gave them this safety net of a gay rugby club where they felt secure," he said.

Hay said if someone who was gay wanted to join a rugby club, generally very little would happen to them, but there was always someone who "feels it's fun to have a bit of banter."

"It empowers them to say 'you're a gay, you did that, you're a fag,' whatever," he said.

"It's like a death with a thousand cuts when those sort of comments are made because they're never made in a positive way."

While those sorts of negative comments and labels do not happen all the time, Hay said they occurred often enough for people to be afraid of the culture.

Quite often those types of comments did not come from the actual players however, Hay said, but rather from the touchline and from the older generation.

"[The older generation are] probably the ones that need the most education on this," he said.

Giving players a boost in confidence

From the start of his involvement Hay said he had found "a sense of camaraderie", whether it be on the training pitches or on match days.

"People were given an opportunity to do something that they've possibly never been able to do, whether it was at sport at school or otherwise," he said.

"Sport is one of those areas where even at school… if somebody knows they're gay, they don't want to be outed in that environment, so they avoid it."

Mr Hay says from the beginning he had found "a sense of camaraderie" amongst the team. ( Supplied: Melbourne Chargers )

He said not only was there optimism about the men being given the opportunity to join a team, they also gained a sense of confidence.

"Within the gay community, I understand that the incidence of depression and suicide are way higher than in the straight community," he said.

"You see guys, they're not outward going… They come in [and] they have no confidence. They want to join in but they don't know how.

"We've got guys in their 20s, 30s and 40s even who want to come along and try team sport for the first time and hearing about the Chargers is something that gives them the confidence to come and do that.

"You see them grow in their confidence.

"They start [and] they can't give you eye contact. By the end of it, they're organising the social sessions and saying 'who's coming down to the club?'"

On Saturday the Sydney Convicts, Melbourne Chargers, Brisbane Hustlers and the New Zealand Falcons will all compete in the "Bledisloe cup of gay rugby", the Purchas Cup.