RATLIFF/HANKIN 2012: WE’LL BE THERE FOR YOU



In case you missed the big announcement, my Vice Presidential running mate is none other than Mr. Larry Hankin (whom you might recognize as “Mr. Heckles” the Downstairs F•R•I•E•N•D on NBC’s Friends.)

I got in touch with Larry last weekend, and he responded within hours, accepting my offer with a swiftness that indicates he will make a great President if something horrible happens to me while I am in office.

HISTORIC ACCEPTANCE E-MAIL FROM LARRY HANKIN:

Yo, Connor,

Be your Veep? Yeah, sure. As long as I don’t have to do much, which I believe is one of the standard gov. job specs for the position - so yeah: I’m in.

(Question: If you win, do I have to remain your veep for the whole four years? I’d like a buy-out clause. I’ll have my lawyer stick it in. Not to worry. I’m on board. Thanks & onward to victory)

This is a Game Changer, folks. Larry is more than just one of the F•R•I•E•N•D•S. He was nominated for an Academy Award for his short film, Solly’s Diner, in 1980. He was in Home Alone, Pretty Woman, Planes, Trains & Automobiles, and Billy Madison. He was the alternate “Kramer” on the show-within-the-show on Seinfeld. He was on Breaking Bad.

BREAKING. BAD.

Mitt Romney can search all he wants for a running mate. Unless he nominates Gus Fring, he doesn’t stand a chance against our ticket. Joe Biden is old news by now, which means this is The Story Of The Year in terms of VP picks.

Larry will be 72 by the time Election Day rolls around. That’s like having two more 35-year olds on the ticket (plus two adorable one-year olds.)

LARRY’S OFFICIAL WEBSITE

LARRY ON WIKIPEDIA

LARRY ON IMDB

We will be hearing more from Larry as the campaign goes on. For now, here is his official statement regarding my candidacy: