Lehigh Valley is about to get smacked with a record snowfall of …. wait a minute, we’re getting maybe a foot and a half? That’s a pretty pedestrian snowfall.

People are maybe freaking out a bit too much, don’t you think? Even two feet of snow is just enough that you might not want to drive when it’s falling and maybe you get to wake up a bit late the next day, but it’s certainly not something to freak out about.

But, hey, this is the Lehigh Valley. When it snows, we expect everything to be closed. Except for schools, those kids should have to go in because screw them.

The snowfall also brings with it the chance to interact with our neighbors. Instead of working with them as a community and perhaps helping dig each other’s cars out, we get to passive aggressively show them how much we hate them by placing chairs in the parking spots we shoveled out.

Placing this chair in the spot we shoveled out shows them that we worked really hard on getting our car out and if they park in that spot, we’ll key their SUV. Does it matter if we don’t plan on using the spot? Nope.

Don’t even LOOK at my parking spot chair. I’ll cut you.

With that being said, we all use different types of chairs to save our parking spots. Here is what your chair selection says about you.

The Classic

By far the most widely used parking spot saving chair, this classic plastic lawn model allows you a decent saving radius while also allowing showing other drivers that you mean business, but aren’t an over the top dick.

If you’re using the classic chair, you’re giving off the impression that you know what you’re doing, but you aren’t trying to shove it down people’s throats.

A great chair for beginners.





Vintage Style





A vintage chair shows that you’re no parking spot saving newbie. You’ve been around the block. You saved parking spaces during the Blizzard of 96. If someone’s going to take your spot, they are going to have to move a chair that has been in your family for parking spot saving generations.

Your dad may have saved his parking spot with this chair. Your grandpa may have parked his Buick where this chair now rests. Respect it.





Lounge Chair

Now we’re talking. If you are using a lounge chair in your spot it not only says that you will probably let the air out of the tires on any car that even sniffs your spot, but you also don’t mind having the whole neighborhood think you’re a douchebag.

Cmon, this can’t be the only lawn chair you have in your house. You’re putting this out there for a reason. And, that reason is to say “Fuck you. I am putting the largest piece of outdoor furniture I have in the freakin’ road.”

This is a great selection for people who also choose to drink through most of the storm. And the day after.





Beach Chair

Not to be confused with the vintage chair, the beach chair says that you don’t have a lot of time for this garbage, but you still don’t want to have someone park in your spot. So, you take whatever you find in the back of the SUV and throw it out there in your spot.

This is a good move for parents on the go or people who haven’t cleaned out their car since last summer.





Folding Chair





Any family with kids that have done anything remotely athletic have an army of these chairs. Putting one of these out to save your spot says that you probably wouldn’t really care if someone took your spot or stole your chair, since you have 15 more where that came from.

This is for someone who feels almost forced to save their spot. You don’t really care if I park there, do you? It’s a sad selection.





Legit Patio Furniture

If you’re pulling out the big guns, you’re either SUPER serious about saving your spot or you literally have nothing else you can put out there.



Most people would tend to stay away from even messing with a patio furniture saved spot. The person who put it out there is either desperate or crazy. Avoid.





Garbage Can





A savvy move. Putting out a garbage can in your spot can make it look like you just thought it was garbage day. This can mitigate your guilt when saving your public street parking spot that you don’t have any claim to. Good move, person who is awesome at rationalizing things.





Milk Crate

“Aww, cmon guys, please don’t steal my spot. Well, okay. I mean, if you really need it, I guess that’s okay. Could I maybe get my milk crate back?





An Old Traffic Cone

You finally found a use for something you stole while you were in college. So, I mean, at least there is that. The sad part is that people aren’t going to take you very seriously or they are just going to steal it. This is not a strong choice.





An Old TV

Now you’re just trying to get rid of your garbage. Don’t go down this route, well, unless you live in certain parts of Easton where this is a regular sight even when there is no snow on the ground.

The only way to get rid of one of these old TVs is to bury it somewhere. No one is going to even think about stealing it. Or moving it. So, it’s a solid choice for people who really, really don’t want you to park in their spot.





Inside Furniture

If you’re bringing out the inside furniture, you’re basically saying that if someone parks in your spot they can expect to have a broken windshield.

You’re one step away from putting out an end table and guarding your spot with a shotgun.

Keep moving on.





A baby

You’ve realized that someone has to earn their keep around here.

You’re also a sociopath.





So, do you have any other examples?