MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—Russian President Vladimir Putin said on Wednesday that he was “saddened and hurt” that Donald J. Trump had asked a different foreign country to meddle in a U.S. election.

“I thought when it came to election meddling that Donald and I were exclusive,” an emotional Putin told reporters. “This feels like a betrayal.”

Putin said that when he read the call summary of the phone conversation between Trump and the President of Ukraine, “I could not believe my eyes. It was just like the conversations Donald and I used to have.”

The Russian leader said that he had considered meddling in the 2020 election to help Trump, but added, “Now I’m not so sure.”

“We had something special, but now that’s gone,” Putin said. “I feel so used.”