After a report on the Mandal riots in 1990, when students immolated themselves and were shot at and killed by the police, I closed my anchoring by saying, “The Prime Minister of our country V P Singh has the blood of these students on his hands.” Could I say that today? Fearlessly? What was the fall out? V P Singh refused to speak to anyone from Newstrack for a while but then, guess what? He recovered. Controlling journalists by refusing or giving access has always been practiced by those in power. No journalist who believes in journalism ever takes a politician’s refusal to speak to them personally. There could be a variety of reasons. I had the distinction of being ditched at the last minute by both Narendra Modi and Rahul Gandhi. The former because the channel I was to interview him on had been in the forefront of blame in 2002 and the latter because after his interview with Arnab Goswami had made him the butt of ridicule there was apprehension that another interview would only invite more. These were valid political reasons. Why should I take it personally? But, I won’t give up. We just keep asking, in a thick skinned way. The satisfaction of pursuing good journalism ensures that I will never receive official awards to return.