In case you�re living in a bubble, the squirrel apocalypse of 2018 is upon us. And it�s bad.

In a nutshell (I couldn�t resist) last year was a banner year for nuts, meaning more food for squirrels, more squirrels were born and more stayed alive. This year that growing army of squirrels is competing for the nuts. This apparently accounts for their kamikaze-like behavior, i.e., running in front of cars, and generally acting a bit unhinged.

�I believe we have a suicidal squirrel on Route 88,� Exeter resident Yvonne Zinicola shared this week. �He tries to run under the wheels of my car every time I drive by. I am considering referring him to a counselor.�

He�s one of the lucky ones. Squirrel carnage is everywhere. The roads are covered with squished squirrels in varying death poses which has launched a disturbing new family travel game, �Hey kids, let�s count the dead squirrels.� I counted 108 from the Lee traffic circle down Route 125 to the turn onto Route 87 recently while Exeter fourth-grader Sara Dean passed the time on a trip from Exeter to Durham counting roadkill: 25 squirrels, a raccoon and a porcupine. Teacher Hallie Estle counted 40 dead squirrels just from exit 2 to 3 on Route 101 last weekend.

Others have seen things they wish they could un-see, like guidance counselor Sharon Spooner. �I watched one yesterday on the Spaulding Turnpike trying to run across three lanes of cars whizzing by and it got run over by a few different cars as it kept trying to make it,� Spooner recounted.

So far, I�ve managed to avoid hitting one with my car as has Barbara Rimkunas, of Exeter. �But not because they aren't trying to die,� Rimkunas said. �Every time one of them doubles back to the side of the road I yell �Live another day squirrel.��

Others have not been so fortunate. Caroline Siecke watched two amorous squirrels run into the street at the perfect time for both to meet their end together.

�Seriously, I always try to avoid critters under all circumstances, but they ran at the last second and to avoid them would have been courting disaster,� Siecke said.

Exeter photographer Scott Kuckler had a similar experience. �There was nothing I could have safely done,� he said of squishing a squirrel.

On a serious note, none of us want to hit a squirrel, but let�s use common sense. Don�t swerve into another lane to avoid hitting a squirrel, instead hitting a car or person. Really, there are plenty of squirrels to go around.

Forget conversations where we complain about the weather. We are all comparing who has seen the most-dead squirrels. Leslie Steinhauser, of Newfields, says Route 85 is a graveyard while Linda Allen says Drinkwater Road is a death trap.

Stratham resident MaryAnn Cappiello said she saw six dead squirrels and a skunk just in front of Scamman�s Farm alone.

�The ride to CMS is like going through a rodent battlefield. So much road kill,� Cappiello said.

Some can�t take the bloodbath any longer. �I find it so sad and disturbing, I have to look away,� said Beth Dupell, of Stratham. �While we were driving on 125 back from Barrington, I asked my husband to turn off in Lee because I couldn't stand seeing all of the squirrel damage. It was a much more pleasant ride through the back roads of Lee, Newmarket, Newfields to get home. I almost think the towns should bring out the snowplows to clean up the mess.�

But is that even possible? I asked Bill Boynton, spokesman for the New Hampshire Department of Transportation, about how the state can get rid of the growing body count. �The unusual amount of squirrel roadkill is not confined to any one location and is being addressed by NHDOT highway maintenance forces when they can as part of regular maintenance responsibilities,� Boynton said. �The sheer volume out there makes it somewhat problematic, as they cannot stop all other activity to address the issue. And yes, snowplows can help take care of the problem, but they won�t be out there until it snows.�

Exeter Highway Superintendent Jay Perkins said Exeter�s crews are also not out on squirrel pickup duty at this time. �No, we do not because we could fill a pickup truck every day and that is enough to feed 10 needy families and make 100 hats and mittens,� he joked.

Meanwhile, the walkway in front of my house has become a hazard zone, where it�s highly likely I�ll get taken out by an acorn dropped by the increasingly bold squirrels who have moved in. I can�t help but feel like I�m in a Stephen King story and that the squirrels have a message for us that we�ve not yet deciphered. That or they�re going to kill us while we sleep.

Scott Ruffner has noticed more squabbles among squirrels, some of which have been entering in his garage every day; one even broke onto his screen porch. �They�ve gotten very comfortable and don�t react to human presence the way they used to,� Ruffner observed.

Perkins pointed out that squirrel hunting season in N.H. is open. Yes, apparently it is a real thing, I looked on the Fish and Game website, where I learned that grey squirrel season runs from Sept. 1 to Jan. 31. You are limited to five squirrels per day and need a hunting license.

So maybe we are missing an opportunity. In a bit of ironic timing, the World Championship Squirrel Cookoff was just held in Bentonville, Arkansas on Sept. 8. Now, I can�t imagine chomping on a squirrel, but these folks say we are missing out. The event is held to �promote 100 percent organic, free range, natural Squirrel as one of history�s most important food sources. It is also a way for the public to try firsthand what the rest of us already know "SQUIRREL IS GOOD,� their website states. �Call it Tree Bacon, Limb Chicken, or a bird feeder vandal, it makes a mean dinner if you cook it the right way.�

This year�s winner was the �Mac and Squirrel Burger,� a jalapeno bacon squirrel burger with deep fried macaroni and cheese �buns� topped with a chili and jalapeno jelly sauce. The burger included a side salad with squirrel bacon bits and a squirrel bone broth vinaigrette. To wash it down, the entry offered a �Bloody Squirrel,� a Bloody Mary with a squirrel bone broth shooter.

I don�t even think the addition of vodka could make me try squirrel.

So, it�s back to watching and wondering if the squirrel army knows something we don�t? Clearly, Jon Snow Squirrel outside my house knows winter is coming, and from the way he�s acting, we all need to be ready.

Lara Bricker is a former staff writer for the Exeter News-Letter, the author of two books of non-fiction and an Exeter resident. She can be reached at larabricker@hotmail.com, on Facebook at Lara Bricker Author, or on Twitter @larabricker.