Christian Films Are Hilarious!

Fundamentalist Christians have been putting out films for a while and not that God’s Not Dead has been successful, we can expect to see more of these super heavy handed religious films from the batshit crazy sector of society.

The next great Christian masterpiece is Dark Dungeon. This film “brings Jack Chick’s 1984 masterpiece to the silver screen.” Calling anything Jack Chick has put out a “masterpiece” tell you something right there. Check out the trailer for this “masterpiece.”



I have to admit that this film does look pretty awesome, just not in the way the filmmakers intended (CORRECTION: The filmmakers actually did intend this kind of awesome). What this film really seems to need though is a washed up semi-famous actor or actress to take a lead role or at least a cameo. I guess Candice Cameron was too busy with Dancing With The Stars. Kevin Sorbo might have be available now his character was killed off in God’s Not Dead so he probably won’t be in the sequel… or will he? God’s Not Dead 2: Hell Is Real.

Another great Christian film “masterpiece” is “The Lock In.” I haven’t seen it yet, but it looks like a real winner to me. Just check out this awesome trailer:



As ridiculous as these films are, you have to give fundamentalist Christians credit for putting this stuff out there. Maybe atheists and humanists can learn something from their effort. Maybe we should be putting out cheesy and some high quality films promoting the values many of us share. I know, Dawkins and Krauss just put out “The Unbelievers,” but that can’t nearly be as entertaining as demons in your porn or “R.P.G., R.P.G, R.P.G.” Aside from “The Ledge,” we’ve got nothing.

It isn’t like there aren’t talented atheists who could come up with an interesting story. It isn’t like there aren’t great atheist personalities on YouTube. Hell, we might even be able to pull in some real atheist actors and actresses. There are a lot of them in Hollywood and NYC. Plus there are a ton of atheist comedians too. So where are our films? I guess for now we will have to entertain ourselves with these ridiculously awesome Christian films. After all, they sort of make our case for us.

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