Obesity epidemic in America? Check. Poverty-exploiting and labor-exploiting retail giant Walmart offers its patrons a veritable tour-de-force of saturated fats, simple carbohydrates, and refined sugars for their Thanksgiving Feast. And for those of you who laugh this off and imagine most folks will supplement their bargain-priced food stuffs with healthy fruits and vegetables, I will simply draw your attention to the sizable collection of motorized shopping scooters in the front lobby.

Generously offering canned Rotel, tomato sauce, and Bloody Mary mix as vegetables to go along with the one image of green beans, I’ve managed to break the following Thanksgiving advertisement down into the following Categories: Carbohydrates (bread, potato, pasta), Fats (Milk, Crisco, Cream, Cheese), Sugar (Soft Drinks, Chocolate, Sugar), and Dessert (Pie, Cake, Cookie, Brownie).

So, with no further ado, I give you the ad that appeared in the Portland Oregonian on Sunday, November 24th, 2013.

Here is the grand total by my count. Happy Thanksgiving from Walmart.

Want to lower the cost of health insurance in America? End this “free market” exploitation of people who don’t know any better than to consume this crap. Walmart does this because fat and sugar is cheap and provides a high profit, the cost being the health and well-being of the consumer, which is just another thing subsidized by tax payers, just like the food stamps their employees need, and the rent they pay to themselves to dodge paying taxes of their own. The heirs themselves are dodging taxes and amassing billions, and the average American taxpayer is literally subsidizing the business practices of the nation’s #1 private employer.

And don’t think you are reaping the benefits of all this subsidization with the money you save by shopping here, Walmart strives to put the lowest qualities items on their shelves, going so far as to force manufacturers who can’t meet their pricing demands to produce two different–yet indistinguishable–tiers of products, one for Walmart, and one for every other retailer. And on Black Friday, don’t expect profound bargains on certain key items on which Walmart is willing to “take a loss” in order to get you in the door, oftentimes these “door buster” electronics bargains are on outdated, obsolete, or poor quality merchandise that just wouldn’t otherwise sell, like 32″ TVs or old, low resolution digital cameras.

Walmart represents race-to-the-bottom capitalism and has gone completely off the rails in an effort to squeeze additional profit. Do yourself a favor, don’t shop here this holiday season. You have all sorts of wonderful, local, small business retailers that would love your business. Seek them out.

Thank you for visiting Supercenternation. If you like silly ads, you will also like “Jack’s Magical Beanstalk,” my article on Costco exploiting “doomer” mentality.

Also, for this 2013 holiday season, I am offering signed copies of Supercenter, my anti-consumerist dystopian young adult novel, with 1980 Star Wars Empire Strikes Back trading cards as bookmarks for the first 20 people to order a copy from me direct via Paypal, shipping included. Indicate who I should make the autograph out to with your order. Thanks for supporting independent publishing.

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