If it wasn’t so serious, it would make you laugh out loud. The national newspaper assault on Ed Miliband and Labour has already reached absurd proportions more than two months ahead of the general election.

It is Michael Foot plus Neil Kinnock plus Gordon Brown and then some. No chance is being missed to heap scorn on Labour’s leader with a stream of critical and negative headlines. Editors are revelling in the chance to take advantage of what appears to be internal Labour dissent.

Pages are being devoted to so-called news stories that suggest Miliband is either dangerous, or daft, or both. Commentators are at their venomous worst. Editorials register increasing alarm.

The Mail on Sunday’s front page. Photograph: Clipshare

Let’s start with the Sunday papers. The Mail on Sunday had little room for anything but anti-Edlines: “Labour knives out for ‘loser’ Red Ed” (page 1); “Is this the week Ed blew the election” (pages 6 & 7); “There’s no denying it: I’m Calamity Ed” (pages 8 & 9); “Isolated. Indecisive. The haunted look of defeat. Why even Ed Balls has all but given up on Ed” (page 25); “Why HALF of Ed’s MPs have already thrown in the towel” (page 37); “Labour is still a threat, despite the shambles” (editorial).

Sunday Telegraph: “Boots chief: Labour win would cause ‘catastrophe’” (page 1 splash); “Tis the season of misty memories and Labour forgetfulness” (page 18); “Ed tried to ‘weaponise’ the NHS – it ended with a bang” (page 22); “The case against Mr Miliband grows stronger” (editorial).

The Sun on Sunday: “Edache” (page 2); “Numpty-dumpty” (page 14); “Trouble at Mili” (editorial). By contrast, the Sunday Times carried only two articles: “Win or lose, it’s civil war for Labour” (page 16); “Cameron’s chaos theory is winning as he stokes up fear of Miliband” (page 23).

The latter was a column by Adam Boulton that could be read as somewhat sympathetic to Miliband in the sense that it saw the ferocity of the assault on Labour in terms of a strategy adopted by David Cameron and presumably orchestrated by his adviser, Lynton Crosby.

One of the columns in the Mail on Sunday (the one about Miliband being isolated, indecisive and with the look of defeat) was by Jason Cowley, editor of the New Statesman.

That would normally be regarded as an act of treachery, but it is not an isolated example of traditional Labour supporters turning on their own.

The Telegraph. Photograph: Clipshare

Now for Monday’s dailies, beginning with the Daily Telegraph, which followed up its Sunday sister with a page 4 article, “Miliband ‘catastrophe’ jibe sees MPs turn on Boots boss”.

And the Daily Mail followed it too with a page 1 splash: “Labour’s war on Boots the chemist”. Inside the Mail were other highly angled pieces: “Labour fails to rule out a coalition with SNP” (page 4); “Ed’s £63,000 travel bill... every month” (page 18); and “Anti-business Labour threatens jobs” (editorial).

The Times splashed on “University chiefs scorn Miliband’s fees policy”. Its page 2 lead was yet another Boots follow-up, echoing the Mail by suggesting that Labour had gone to war with its acting chief executive.

Labour, we learned from the Daily Express page 2 lead, is “engulfed in a blazing row with business leaders in yet another damaging blow to Ed Miliband’s election hopes”.

The Sun’s page 2 lead was “BlackEdder: Miliband pinches Baldrick’s election slogan” and there was an interesting column on the leader page by Trevor Kavanagh, “Is Ed next victim of back-stabbers?” Interesting because it identified the source of Labour’s lack of solidarity.



He argued that with “Red Ed” having lurched to the left and shunned the Blairites, they have taken the opportunity to get their revenge. He wrote:

“With three months to go, ex-ministers led by Peter Mandelson and cheered on by Tony Blair himself, are lobbing grenades while the Tories sit back and enjoy the carnage. Everything has gone wrong under Ed Miliband … Millionaire Labour donor John Mills yesterday denounced Miliband’s narrow-minded attack on private money and expertise to help the cash-strapped and chaotic health service. He joins a stream of ex-ministers with hands-on experience, such as Alan Milburn and John Hutton … Meanwhile, in the real world, the giant Boots the Chemist group, whose shops dispense prescriptions for millions of NHS patients, has joined the attack”.

The Sun. Photograph: Clipshare

Kavanagh also pointed to two other Labour critics of “their hapless leader” – Damian McBride and Jason Cowley. (He could also have mentioned David Hare’s negative views).

Although the Independent cannot be accused of spinning against Labour, its headlines on Monday contribute to the overall portrayal of a party, and leader, in trouble: “Labour faces crisis in Scotland as Yes voters stay with SNP” (page 1) and “Study shows ‘Yes’ voters won’t switch back to Labour as expected” (page 6).

Its little sister, i, splashed on “Labour facing crisis in Scotland” with an inside piece expanding on it, “Labour fears Scottish rout as voters choose SNP – and return the Tories”.

And, yes, the Guardian’s op-ed page featured a column by Matthew d’Ancona in which he, like Kavanagh, explored Labour’s internal bickering, “Miliband must decide: is he austerity-lite or Syriza-lite?”

One paragraph towards the end was not only extraordinarily defeatist in tone, but wrong-headed:

“Ever since he [Miliband] took on Rupert Murdoch [in July 2011] he has believed he can rewrite the rules of politics. There is nobility in that conviction, but also folly – for no person, however committed, can recast the system singlehandedly”.

Really Matthew? Does Murdoch represent a “system”? Is it folly to refuse to cosy up to a newspaper owner? Whatever one might say about Miliband, this particular insult seems way wide of the mark.

As for the ever-loyal Daily Mirror, its chief political commentator, Kevin Maguire, also revealed his lack of enthusiasm for Miliband. Should Labour win the election, he wrote, “the victory would in part be despite a leader whose popularity lags behind his party”.

So, just two days into February (and with 94 days to go to polling day), Miliband is suffering from an across-the-board press onslaught. And I imagine things will get even worse in the coming weeks and months.