Yesterday on Twitter, Alec Jacobs reminded me of one of the kookiest stories regarding Osama Bin Laden I’ve ever heard. It’s sort of a great reminder of how much of a demented f*uck this guy was.

The story goes that Bin Laden spent many years unhealthily obsessed with singer-turned-crackhead Whitney Houston. He was so enamored with her, in fact, that he openly talked about trying to assassinate her then-husband Bobby Brown to get him out of the way so he could have her all to himself.

The claims were made by Sudanese poet and novelist Kola Boof, who in her autobiography claimed that Bin Laden held her captive as his sex slave for four months back in the 90s. Boof said that even though Bin Laden’s retarded religious beliefs made listening to music and cavorting with black women a no-no, he was willing to risk whatever punishment might come his way from God in order to have Houston, the singer he thought was “the most beautiful woman in the world.”

From a 2006 Daily Mail article:

“Osama kept coming back to Whitney Houston,” (Boof) says in the book, excerpted in the magazine Harpers’ Bazaar. “He asked if I knew her personally when I lived in America. I told him I didn’t. “He said that he had a paramount desire for Whitney Houston, and although he claimed music was evil he spoke of someday spending vast amounts of money to go to America and try to arrange a meeting with the superstar. “It didn’t seem impossible to me. He said he wanted to give Whitney Houston a mansion that he owned in a suburb of Khartoum. “He explained to me that to possess Whitney he would be willing to break his colour rule and make her one of his wives. “Whitney Houston’s name was the one that would be mention constantly. “How beautiful she was, what a nice smile she has, how truly Islamic she is but is just brainwashed by American culture and by her husband Bobby Brown, whom Osama talked about having killed, as if it were normal to have women’s husbands killed.”

I wonder what Osama thought of Whitney Houston’s rendition of the National Anthem prior to the 1991 Super Bowl, considered by many — with all due respect to Jim Cornelison — to be the best version of the song ever sung? That had to be a bit of a buzzkill, right? Or maybe IT TURNED HIM ON?!?! Sounds about right for a sick f*ck like Osama.