Like the Oscars, but better. Fun awards for this season of the Bachelor, and hopefully you get a chuckle.

Wallpaper of the Season: Whitney

If there was a girl on this season that I would describe as pure white vanilla, it would be Whitney. She doesn’t even deserve the title of french vanilla. Her picture on the ABC Bachelor site before the season began was very pleasing, a nice clean face, and not a disruptive personality. However, I felt dirty having her on my fantasy team this season, she gave me solid points by not getting eliminated until about week 5 or 6. I was getting consistent points for someone that did not even get any real screen time or interviews. Good for her. Congrats, you won something this season, Whitney!

Other nominees: Kristina, Astrid, Sarah, Danielle M

Comedian of the Season: Alexis

Is she a shark or is she a dolphin? Alexis dominated social media on the premiere of this season of the Bachelor. She had great joke interviews, the producers gave her a lot of content to work with, and she always got the end credit scene to give us a laugh. We love you, Alexis. Can’t wait to see you in Paradise.

Other nominees: Raven, Corinne, Christen

Least interested in Nick: Lacey

I jump to the defense of many of the girls/guys when people attack them for trying to attain social media fame. In my opinion, if you can make money off of social media, you should do it. It’s not selling your soul if you really have no true art form. Free money is free money, and you should take advantage of it when you can. Nobody goes on the Bachelor for the true “right reasons”, but once they get in that environment and invested in the show/universe, they truly begin to try and make a relationship. Lacey went in purely to get fame and become the next big thing. The problem is that she had a cackling voice, vain personality, and although I find her very beautiful, she trails off in comparison to half the girls on the show. Compound this all with her getting eliminated on the second week, yet she shows up on AFTR and tries to comment on everything, Lacey was there for all the wrong reasons and I hope she goes away.

Other nominees: Josephine, Taylor, Liz

Cleavage of the Season: Astrid

This had to be the toughest one for me, it was really between Danielle Land Astrid. I loved the conspiracy that Nick never listened to any word that Danielle said until the 2 on 1 date where there was a point when her boobs were not being showed off. Nick proceeded to send her home. The reason why I decided not to pick Danielle L as she was an actual character on the show, while Astrid was the girl known only for her cleavage jiggle on the track & field date. Congrats!

Other nominees: Danielle L, Liz, Vanessa, Alexis

Vagine of the Season: Raven

The big surprise of the season and this awards show! An award that was made after great Corinne quote is not going to her. It was hers all the way until Raven had her orgasm montage after her night in the fantasy suite with Nick. She achieved something so satisfying on a reality television show for the first time, not the most optimal for her, but the best for us. Raven cares about our entertainment, and we love her for it.

Other nominees: Corinne, Vanessa, Rachel, Liz

Who we wish won instead of Vanessa award: Raven

The sweetest girl with the biggest heart lost on this season at the end. We all knew Vanessa would get the win after winner’s edit she got from the first episode. Raven was the big surprise though, a quirky girl became a legitimate threat. Her smile brought joy to my heart, and she had an actual sense of humor, unlike most of the girls on this show. Honorable mentions go out to Corinne and Rachel. Rachel was the best girl on this season, but I’m not sure if she was that into Nick, while I feel the opposite about Corinne.

Other nominees: Corinne, Rachel, Kristina

Paradise Girl: Corinne

Paradise was made for Corinne, she will get to wear designer bikinis and have drinks on hand. She might have to spend more time without Raquel, but as long as she meets a fun guy, it will be worth the watch.

Other nominees: Raven, Alexis, Kristina, Danielle L

Season MVP: Corinne

People who take naps: Abraham Lincoln, Michael Jordan, myself, and Corinne Olympios.

Other nominees: Raven, Alexis, Vanessa, Rachel