Donald Trump is the best at everything! So what gives?

Everyone can pretty much agree that the way Donald Trump drank from that bottle of Fiji water was pretty bizarre. But that may just be scratching the surface! Has Donald Trump been replaced with an A.I. robot? Is there some sort of shape shifting alien impostor that has taken on the image of Donald Trump? Is Hillary Clinton behind this? Was this funded by the Clinton Foundation? Has Black Lives Matter (who are the same as the KKK) assassinated President Trump? Where’s George Soros? These all are completely rational questions to have, and we’re going to get to the bottom of them!

Since we all know that Donald Trump is truly terrific at everything, and billions and billions times better than the average homo sapien, how could it be possible that he would struggle to bring a bottle of Fiji water (the most tremendous water) to his lips? Are you telling me the guy who wrote The Art of The Deal can’t deal with H20? Not so fast, you libtarded cuck!

A DEMOCRAT MAKING AN ALLIANCE WITH A ROBOT TO STUMP THE TRUMP?

Let’s get back to A.I. During a speech back in 2014, Elon Musk said “Robots are fuckin’ crazy, yo! They’re gonna do everything better than us! They’re gonna build hella shit, and kill you, and fuck your wife! It’s all around the corner! I’m serious my ni**a… What? I’m from South Africa!” Does this not irrefutably prove that A.I. is possibly replacing Donald Trump? I think it certainly begs the question! We all know the deep state is after Trump! Like many, many people have said that.

OBAMA’S TRUE FORM!

Now onto another completely plausible scenario: There is solid evidence Barack Obama was a shape shifting reptilian. We have even had very credible reports that he smells like sulfur, as does Hillary Clinton, which as many highly educated people know is proof that they’re reptiles. So is the Obama shifter shifting into a Trump shifter to swiftly shift the balance in their favor? I think it could be possible! But does Adam Schiff investigate? No! He’s too busy blaming Russia for everything! SAD!

PICTURE OF A LOSER

There’s no need to discuss the Clintons, because we know they have something to do with this water fiasco, we’re just not sure what! But we’ve sent a group of private investigators down to Hell (one of the Clinton’s favorite reptilian vacation spots,) and they’re finding AMAZING THINGS!

Another potential reason for the A.I. is that Trump may have been secretly killed by Black Lives Matter, a group of TERRORIST SCUM who have the audacity to ask for white privilege when they’re black, have on many occasions advocated for the assassination of President Trump. Is it not entirely impossible that Republicans, as a last ditch effort, found a robot that has been programmed to study all of the world’s greatest leaders, while simultaneously memorizing every episode of NBC’s The Apprentice, but didn’t have time to program the robot to eat or drink like a normal human? It’s just impossible to know!

THIS IS HOW MAD I AM!

And where the hell is George Soros? The American people need answers, god dammit! AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW