Bad. Ass.

I was a pretty simple kid (Insert mandatory retard joke here). I liked PB&J, cartoons, and riding bikes. In fact, I would wager that those three things accurately describe 95% of my life, ages 3-11. Like all kids raised who had seen Back to the Future 2 or the Jetsons, I was confident that when I was old enough, I would commute to work on some form of hovercraft. It was a no-brainer.

Well let’s just say, its 2011, and I’ve been seriously upset with the lack of progress in basic hovercraft technology (I’m looking at you, scientists!). Until today.

I present to you, the BMW powered, twin-rotor hoverbike! (retail around $40,000) Now that’s what I’m talkin’ about! via Gear Patrol:

Framed around an 1,170cc 4-stroke BMW boxer engine that powers the twin rotors, the Hoverbike was the brainchild of Australian inventor, Chris Malloy. Malloy claims that the Hoverbike’s thrust to weight ratio should enable it to elevate to 10,000 feet and reach a speed of 173 mph (this begs the need for a good parachute and industrial strength body armor). Yowza. The rest of the Hoverbike is a Kevlar reinforced carbon fiber and foam core frame and exotic Tasmanian oak propellers.

Somehow, I knew that the secret would be Tazmainian Oak Propellers.

So today, I salute you, Mr. Malloy. For making me a little less depressed at the future I was promised by TV, but will never receive.