You Know This Will Happen

200 MB of 4G Service a month, for life! That's amazing right now! Although you might not be as impressed 90 years from now.

SPACE DATE: JULY, 2295 (Sol-3 Bureau) Today, with the passing of Bethany Churnsworth, there is only one remaining human still using their Chromebook with free 4G Wireless, 200 MB a month, for life. Ioannes Byron, the cyborg rancher from Australia II, still incorporates a Chromebook into his nine foot tall laser-powered body.

"It's all I need!" said Ioannes Byron, sending the wake-up signal to his orbital death platform. "200 MB a month is perfect to check my email when I'm on a trip, or fix my home network in a pinch, or just enjoy a little streaming music for an hour or so! Why would I ever get rid of this Chromebook? I'm happy!"

But the head of Citizens Against That Stupid Chromebook Deal don't agree. "We want to move to a new age, and this old cyborg's holding us back!!" says Millicent Dingedonge, head of the CATSCD. "4G was great back in, say, 2015. But here in the 22nd Century, who cares? Why can't we just cut him off?"

To this question, Ioannes Byron simply laughs. "I bought this Chromebook because of one reason: 200MB of 4G per month for life. Not my fault if I'm beating the system."

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