The combination of the recent APA report on toxic masculinity, coupled with the viral Gillette Razor, commercial has everybody talking (see here, here and here). And for good reason! The APA report and the Gillette commercial both offer potentially valuable contributions in the movement towards a healthier society. Steven Pinker and others have weighed in as well, and have helpfully argued for the benefits of stoicism and generating a dignity culture that channels the unfortunate excesses of dominance and into much more socially productive ways of being.

In supporting the general message to reduce that which is toxic, it is my hope that the APA is also working on a critical problem positioned on the opposite side of the psychosocial-political equation. Perhaps we might call this “toxic sensitivity.” We have all heard the terms that characterize this side of the dialectic, which conservatives and others, including many level-headed psychologists, have rightfully expressed concern about: snowflakes, safe spaces, trigger warnings, an outrage culture, a culture of victimhood, and on and on. To help these hoped-for APA efforts, I offer the term toxic sensitivity to get the ball rolling. Examples are as easy to find as toxic masculinity. When a privileged student (who is privileged by virtue of being at Yale) yells obscenities at a distinguished, admired professor because of an email about Halloween costumes, we psychologists know in our hearts that we are looking at toxic sensitivity.

It is likely that the spike in in our youth relates far more to toxic sensitivity than to smartphone screen times (see this recent major study that throws significant questions how much screen time is really to blame). What is clear is that we have become harm avoidant, helicopter and snowplow parents who demand unhealthy levels of safety. Don’t get me wrong, as a parent of three, I am all for keeping my kids safe. The issue here is the level of sensitivity and reactivity and degree of overprotection. Let’s just be clear about it: If we reinforce or hypersensitive displays simply via warmth, support, and validation, then we will get more of these kinds of displays, along with more dependence and less . The fact that reinforcement operates to maintain or increase behavior is called the law of effect, and it is one of the very few laws in basic psychology. The bottom line is that we psychologists (and society at large) need to be clearer about how to simultaneously support victims without reinforcing a culture of victimhood. As psychotherapists know, it is a complicated and thin line.

In sum, let’s applaud the APA for identifying toxic masculinity and the Gillette Razor company for modeling ways to curb it. Indeed, I have called men to take a pledge to that effect. Then let’s achieve (psycho-social-political) balance by turning to the other side of the masculine-feminine dialectic and recognize that we are very likely socializing our children to be hypersensitive, and in doing so, we might be doing real harm to an entire generation.