It hasn’t seemed to matter whether Dan Beebe or Bob Bowlsby were commissioner, whether Texas had its own television network, whether a grant-of-rights was in place or if the notion had yet to be conceived, or if there were 10, 12 or some other number of universities comprising the Big 12 Conference.

Regardless of circumstance, the one constant of the Big 12 has been this: misery.

Oh, yeah: and Kansas winning in hoops.

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Is anyone other than Bill Self ever happy in this league? The Big 12 plays out perpetually like one of those family Thanksgiving movies, where everyone — including at least one guitar-toting dropout — complains how Sis gets treated better by Mom, and the arguments get louder and more visceral until everyone in the room realizes they love and need each other.

We haven’t gotten to that last part with the Big 12. It’s about time we do. What everyone in that conference must understand is they need each other. Not a single member of the current 10 would be better off in another affiliation. Not one.

It’s possible to make more money, sure. Boston College is making more money now than it was as a member of the Big East. It also just completed an academic year in which its football team and men’s basketball team combined to win zero conference games. Zero. As in, none.

In 2003, when BC accepted entry into the Atlantic Coast Conference, its football team was just beginning an 8-5 season that would end in the San Francisco Bowl, and the basketball team was on its way to 24-10 record and an NCAA Tournament appearance as a No. 6 seed. As an ACC member, the Eagles havn’t made the NCAAs since 2009 or won a bowl game since 2007.

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It’s possible to escape Texas’ outsized influence. There really isn’t another Texas anywhere else. Every major conference has powers, and many of those powers are far more accomplished than the Longhorns. But Texas’ combination of wealth and reach and swagger exceeds what you’ll encounter from any other big-time school. Of course, there’s the Longhorn Network, which many use as a reason for why four longtime Big 12 members departed earlier this decade. (It’s really more of a convenient excuse to hide that the whole of the conference didn’t have the vision to use UT’s popularity as leverage to create a league-wide entity).

So you can get away from that, and maybe even get paid more. But you leave, and you no longer get to wipe the smile off that Longhorn from time to time. Texas A&M is playing .500 ball in the SEC and doesn’t have its rivalry game against UT to punctuate the season. The Aggies are better off only on payday.

It’s possible to play in a league with a more coveted brand. The SEC is a virtual religion. The Big Ten has been around since 1896, 100 years longer than the Big 12. But it’s either someone else’s church or someone else’s tradition.

A trend is growing among many in my business to keep score based off how much money conferences return to its members. Certainly, each league wants to do its best to generate as much revenue as possible. But fans want to watch their teams win, preferably against schools familiar to them. Coaches in the major sports want either to have a shot at the College Football Playoff, attractive bowls or the NCAA Tournament.

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The athletic directors and presidents and board members who make or influence these decisions might look more at balance sheets, but they’re ultimately responsible to their constituencies. And there isn’t any real Oklahoma fan wishing to give up on the Red River Rivalry and move to the Pac-12 because it might make it easier to buy a new weight room for the track team.

We know core members of the ACC had the opportunity to move elsewhere, to conferences with bigger annual payouts and greater exposure. And instead they chose to remain in business with the people they ache to defeat on the field of play. They recently extended their grant-of-rights deal into the 2035-36 academic year. They want to be together. Smart.

The Big 12 was in the GOR game well before the ACC. Theirs currently is scheduled to expire in 2025, which seemed a long way off when the deal was signed but suddenly feels too much like tomorrow. There's no rush to extend this deal simply because it’s what Duke and Carolina are doing, but it would be logical for the Big 12 members to announce they are renewing their vows around the time they make their ultimate decision on this round of expansion.

Two new members, four members or none at all, Texas, Oklahoma and their partners need to make it clear they understand the value they have to one another. It might never be one big, happy family, but it is a family. These people all need one another, even if they sometimes are too busy squabbling to see it.