Thief has been necromanced by Square-Enix and old school burglary fans are kind of twitchy about it. As well they should be – stealth’s a tough sell to the masses in this day and age of no subtlety whatsoever, and the license itself has not so much expired in the minds of gamers all around but never even been there for many. (Hate them for their relative youth.)

CLASSIC THIEF MODS

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Long story short, Thief has changed, but it’s clear that Squenix have put some genuine fans to work on this one. If you’ve got the fortitude to click ‘Custom Settings’ and flick a few of the hidden switches in the game, you’ll see just how busy they’ve been. Playing with these hardships on nets you points for worldly rankings and little else, too. It’s about the journey, not the destination. (Although the destination could well be “I hate myself.”) Let’s run through ‘em.Let’s start light with some clean eating and the correct pronunciation of “quinoa.” No more super-sized luncheons and super-sized second luncheons for you. It’s Chinatown.Welcome back to PC hell. You want to save wherever? Save? Wherever? You can’t save; she won’t let you. Remember when video games were like being trapped in an intergalactic Satan cruiser with Sam Neill? Turning this on brings it all flooding back.Got a feeling this’ll be the one most hardcore Thief peeps from way back will make a beeline for. It turns Focus off. I know, right. Mind blown to the four winds and even a fifth, as-yet undiscovered wind.No great loss seeing as Thief’s melees are a lot like Skyrim’s except terrible, though the challenge inherent in this is a lot tougher than it sounds. A free 50 points if you’re also going for No Kills or Knockouts, and everybody loves free stuff.Not a huge deal, but it will definitely get inside your mind and throw a massive party if you’ve been raised on consoles circa sixth-gen and nothing else. It is some kind of minor miracle no enterprising company has marketed sun-dogs with built-in reticles yet. Gamification!You’re feeling good and now it’s time to endure a punishing workout routine that includes hitting yourself in the face and screaming pep-talks at the bathroom mirror.Garrett likes arrows and also variety, and it is easy to wonder if the fire arrows get jealous of the water arrows, or whether both the fire arrows and the water arrows start studying their crow’s feet obsessively when the moss (!) arrows come on the scene.Sometimes Garrett will need to chase the floral dragon to bump his Focus back up. A non-event if you’ve turned Focus off, but you also can’t munch an apple to miraculously heal your broken foot anymore, either.Feeling the need for full loot/zero damage speed? Start here. Zero Damage means you may not callously harm anyone or anything on your way pockets full of yachts. If you do, you start over.“Big deal, I’m a thief, damnit, I have tons of purloined valuables with which to purchase goods and services.” In theory, Jimmy, in theory. The tools of your nefarious trade are already kind of pricey, and this makes them even more so.“You ducks are really trying my patience! But you’re so cute.” You are now a duck. You are not cute, though, and it is your own patience that will be sorely tested. Flicking this on requires an almost mathematical approach to not being seen as you draw mental isosceles triangles across the streets.Masochists only from this point onwards.The unholy grail of gaming. Rarely has it been seen outside of insanely-hard CRPGs of yesteryear, and it is almost completely unknown in this modern, enlightened age. If you die or mess up or anything just once, that’s it. Game over, man.This is a game made in 2014, so Garrett can of course jump through the regular upgrade hoops to make himself and his stuff bigger and badder. Standard. Turn it off and marvel at the uncomfortable sensation of reaching for an arrow at a pivotal moment only to produce the fabled nothing arrow.Thou shalt not kill, or even causally donk someone on the face to put them to troubled sleep. The first essential step in turning Thief into a pure and unadulterated stealth game.This is the second and final step in that process. No one can see you, or even suspect you might be there. If you’re playing with No Focus on, there will also be a lot of chance and even guesswork involved in making it through this – which, when you think about it, is too real, whoa man.

Toby is an Aussie freelance journalist and diehard RPG fan. Follow him on Twitter and why not join the whole IGN Australia team on Facebook