But video game life, just like real life, isn't actually that simple. There are often some mighty disturbing implications, not to mention collateral damage, behind even the simplest of actions. Even though the game would prefer not to talk about it, it's still true that ...

For the most part, video games are fairly straightforward: Something bad's happening, you go beat the piss out of whatever's causing the problem, everybody's happy at the end, and things return to normal.

5 A Tournament in The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion Kills Millions

Bethesda Game Studios

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The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion takes the concept of "not in my backyard" to a psychopathic extreme: When you wander through the wilderness, you can kill whomever you want. Animals, demons, thieves -- it's pretty much open season in the open world. Within walled cities, however, life suddenly becomes very sacred. If you get caught killing anyone, then it's off to jail with you.

Luckily, for those of you who consider a game ruined if you can't commit murder absolutely everywhere, the Imperial City offers an arena where you compete against other warriors for fabulous cash and prizes, along with the honor of not being skewered on somebody's sword.

Bethesda Game Studios

"Now shake hands like a good sport -- oh, right."

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You win the Arena Grand Championship after 22 matches, which isn't a huge body count, although it should be enough to satisfy any gamer's inherent bloodlust. Hell, gladiator pits were a real thing, weren't they? It's no worse than that. Right?

The Disturbing Implication

Actually, when you stop to do the math, you realize that a few more than 22 people die. And by that, we mean a metric fuckton more.

Bethesda Game Studios

Like, you know all the skeletons ever? More than that.

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In the arena, the more you win (i.e., kill), the higher you rise in rank. The game sets it up so that opponents of equal rank compete, so when you start out as a "pit dog," you can only fight other pit dogs. After you've killed three dogs, you're promoted to brawler and must kill three fellow brawlers to rise another rank. Sounds simple, right? Well, each of your opponents has three kills of his own; if he didn't, he wouldn't be a brawler. Between you four, there have been 15 deaths in all. Perhaps you see where this is going.

The next rank is bloodletter, and each of your three opponents traveled his own 15-death path to reach that rank. We're now up to 63 total deaths. This goes on and on, with the death toll rising higher and higher, until you reach the championship rank, when all of your opponents are there due to a river of blood left in their wake -- by this point, you and your opponents have contributed to an astounding 16,383 deaths. The grand champion, whom you challenge and kill next, is responsible for at least that many deaths himself, since he fought to become grand champion the same way you did.