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1dara85 Aug 9, 2007, 9:05pm Here are a few from our library:



Washing Elephants

The Lion With the Wardrobe

Less Miserables



The Hiding Place by Carrington Boone

2booksinbed Aug 9, 2007, 9:20pm I'm a teacher-librarian in a high school library. Occasionally, students will come in looking for a book which they had used in our library a few days or weeks ago. They can't remember the title, but they'll say things like,



"It was a blue book . . . "



or



"It was about so big . . . "



Honest.

3librarykitty Aug 9, 2007, 10:40pm Try getting the request for "that blue book" from future librarians. It's kind of scary. lol



One that I get from one user is the request of the price of the print versions of the LC Schedules, DDC, and (today) Cutter tables. No one recognizes him, so I don't know if he's a retired librarian or just want cataloging materials to keep him company.

4Ui_Niall Aug 10, 2007, 12:56pm

" I need that book that's called Shakespeare, but it's spelled with a "Ch" and the author starts with M..."



Fortunately, I was in my groove that day, and it only took me a few seconds to figure out that the patron wanted the book I work in a public library in Georgia. Here's one that I had a few weeks back:" I need that book that's called Shakespeare, but it's spelled with a "Ch" and the author starts with M..."Fortunately, I was in my groove that day, and it only took me a few seconds to figure out that the patron wanted the book Chesapeake , written by James Michener. *grin* Gotta love being a librarian!

5lefty33 Aug 10, 2007, 1:15pm lol, what a wonderful thread!

6DromJohn Aug 10, 2007, 2:31pm



"I want the Edwards book" Gave her the 4th ed. of

"No, I want the blue book." which, we translated to be



After a couple of minutes, we finally figured out that the patron wanted the 3rd ed. of Legal Writing. Why the patron didn't want the 4th is another matter.



Not two hours ago,"I want the Edwards book" Gave her the 4th ed. of Legal writing : process, analysis, and organization "No, I want the blue book." which, we translated to be The Bluebook After a couple of minutes, we finally figured out that the patron wanted the 3rd ed. of Legal Writing. Why the patron didn't want the 4th is another matter.

7vnicholas Aug 10, 2007, 4:38pm I always loved the request for the Gutenberg Bible on cassette

8lucien Edited: Aug 10, 2007, 5:13pm >2 booksinbed:



I'm not a librarian, but I used to work in a bookstore. I could never get over how many people would ask for a book without knowing anything else about it other than the color. I had one patron ask me for book she thought had some red on the cover. The only other thing she could come up with after a few minutes of questioning was that she "thought there was a murder in it".



We used to keep a list of some of the real good ones, but sadly I've forgotten many of them. I do fondly remember "Who wrote Dante's Inferno?" and "Do you sell birthday cakes?" I'm not a librarian, but I used to work in a bookstore. I could never get over how many people would ask for a book without knowing anything else about it other than the color. I had one patron ask me for book she thought had some red on the cover. The only other thing she could come up with after a few minutes of questioning was that she "thought there was a murder in it".We used to keep a list of some of the real good ones, but sadly I've forgotten many of them. I do fondly remember "Who wrote Dante's Inferno?" and "Do you sell birthday cakes?"

9shmjay Aug 10, 2007, 9:32pm >3 librarykitty:



The LC schedules cost about $40 a volume, and as there are about 42 volumes or more, some costing as much as $50 a volume, it can set you back $1700+. But there is a discount if you buy the whole set.



http://www.loc.gov/cds/classif.html



The DDC costs $375.



The Cutter tables, as used by LC, can be found in any good textbook on cataloguing, but the Cutter-Sanborn 3-Figure Author Tables are a book. I don’t know where to find how much they cost.



The LC schedules cost about $40 a volume, and as there are about 42 volumes or more, some costing as much as $50 a volume, it can set you back $1700+. But there is a discount if you buy the whole set.The DDC costs $375.The Cutter tables, as used by LC, can be found in any good textbook on cataloguing, but the Cutter-Sanborn 3-Figure Author Tables are a book. I don’t know where to find how much they cost.

10LibrarysCat Aug 11, 2007, 9:08am My story isn't so much a request, but a funny question about our library. I work in an academic four story library. We have about four ranges of course reserve materials behind the circulation desk. One day a student stood there looking at those ranges and finally looked at me and said - Is that all the books you people have? Before getting serious, I told her that yes, we spent 1.2 million a year on just those few books - the other floors were simply where we kept all of the catalogued students. At first I am not sure she realized it was a joke - which may of course have had more to do with what I thought was funny vs what she thought was funny! Worst part of the story: she was a soon to graduate senior!

We also get the red book, green book, big book, small book questions A LOT.

11misskate Aug 11, 2007, 1:01pm Mine isn't a silly question as much as a determined patron. When she was asked to return her overdue she said she had (naturally). On furthur questioning (over a period of time) she admitted she had lost it. She paid for it, full cover price as it was brand new. A year later she came back with the book in hand sayin " I didn't see it on my shelf, I thought it was red" the cover was blue.

12Nycticebus Aug 11, 2007, 4:59pm This is fun - I love those listening mistakes, like the story we were told in grad school (does it come from an article by Kuhlthau?) in which a student asks for the book "Oranges and Peaches." On being told nothing is in the catalog with that title, she grows indignant and argues that her teacher told her it was a classic, something every library would have, and it's by that guy Darwin...



My favorite from our library here:

A student was urgently looking for music by a composer known as "W.C." Puzzled, the ref librarian called the music librarian, who asked a few more questions. Eventually he worked it out: Debussy.

13FionaCat Aug 11, 2007, 5:02pm



Tequila Mockingbird

How to Kill a Mockingbird

We All Fall Down (for

Lord of the Rings (for

Lord of the Files



We also get interesting variations on "I want to renew my book". My favorite is "I want to make the fining stop." Working in a high school library, we get some interesting variations on book titles. Students have asked for:Tequila MockingbirdHow to Kill a MockingbirdWe All Fall Down (for Things Fall Apart Lord of the Rings (for Lord of the Flies Lord of the FilesWe also get interesting variations on "I want to renew my book". My favorite is "I want to make the fining stop."

14Nycticebus Aug 11, 2007, 5:07pm oh, and I can't resist added one I fielded myself: The student wished to have for her presentation "a photo of the underground railroad."



I explained that people rarely posed for photos when escaping slavery (nor did those illegally assisting them). I do think she had in mind that some sort of subway train was involved. In the end I think we settled for a reproduction of a newspaper lithograph showing slaves being guided to freedom.

15baconfreelibrary First Message Aug 11, 2007, 11:49pm My recent favorite happened about a month ago. A woman and child came into the public library, after walking past at least four signs with our name, and into a room full of bookcases and books and asked "what is this place?" I just about fell out of my chair.

16Ladedi Aug 12, 2007, 2:01am A student asked me for:



How to Kill a Mockingbird



Ladedi

17Ladedi Aug 12, 2007, 2:04am I had a student (who was doing a report) ask me what was something that she was looking at online. I went to see what she was looking at and it was a phonograph. I told her what it was and that it played records. "Oh," she said, "I've seen those - my grandmother has some!"

18Ladedi Aug 12, 2007, 2:05am Also:



Funny Farm (For Animal Farm)



ladedi

19jlane Aug 12, 2007, 2:12am Name of the person buried at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier.

20book58lover Aug 13, 2007, 8:12pm Explaining to a high school student that our loan period is three weeks, I asked if she would like a longer period, like a month. She said no, four weeks would be better.

21Nycticebus Aug 13, 2007, 8:25pm

http://libr.org/juice/amusing.html You all might like this list (warning: includes rudeness)

22ShellyS Edited: Aug 15, 2007, 2:26pm



Bonfire of the Vampires.



Which sounded more interesting to me than the actual book wanted:



Not a mistake, but thinking about the postcard days, I remember how hard it was to get the staff to remember to check that patrons filled in their names and addresses when they handed in the cards. One day, a woman complained to me (I was the branch librarian) that she never got her reserves and we had a lousy service. I pulled out a 2-inch stack of unaddressed postcards and asked if hers were in it. She looked through it and found about 10 of her reserves. At least she had the good grace to apologize. Computerized reserves have really helped. I love this topic. My favorite mistaken title comes from the days when patrons had to fill out postcards for their reserves (this was around 1987) and I was the reserve assistant/young adult specialist. We got a postcard filled out for:Bonfire of the Vampires.Which sounded more interesting to me than the actual book wanted: Bonfire of the Vanities , of course.Not a mistake, but thinking about the postcard days, I remember how hard it was to get the staff to remember to check that patrons filled in their names and addresses when they handed in the cards. One day, a woman complained to me (I was the branch librarian) that she never got her reserves and we had a lousy service. I pulled out a 2-inch stack of unaddressed postcards and asked if hers were in it. She looked through it and found about 10 of her reserves. At least she had the good grace to apologize. Computerized reserves have really helped.

23dulcibelle Aug 15, 2007, 2:55pm Way back as a baby acquisitions librarian, I used to work at a medical library. One day, the library director came to our department, very upset that the local medical bookstore wouldn't let him charge something to the library account. (It was a weekend, he was in shorts with NO institutional identification, and they didn't know him from Adam.) He wanted us to go back and get him a copy of that "orange book". :-)

24ellevee Aug 16, 2007, 12:29am



Her older brother had given her an... alternate name for My friend, as a young lass, once ran up to a librarian, very excited, and yelled out, "Do you have 'The Cat Who Shat?'"Her older brother had given her an... alternate name for The Cat In The Hat . At least, that's what she says. The librarian was not amused. I still think it's funny.

25marfita Aug 16, 2007, 1:27pm Well, now if it were me, I'd give the parent/guardian the dog-eye, straighten the kid out, find the book, studiously read some shelves, and the minute no one was looking, slip into the back and pee myself laughing. So, how was this librarian not amused? Was there a big lecture? Did she look horrified and clutch her chest, stagger around, vomit? How do we know she didn't bide her time and then have a good guffaw?

26ellevee Aug 16, 2007, 1:52pm The librarian, who we kids all believed was over 200, gave her a stern lecture on language and appropriate behavior. There was a lot of glaring involved.

27charlotteg Aug 16, 2007, 2:30pm It is no different at a bookstore!



Common ones are "I don't know the title or name, but it was blue & on THAT table at Christmas."



Or the customers who come in & just say "I am looking for a book."



My response. I am going to need just a little bit more information. :P

28inkdrinker Aug 16, 2007, 2:37pm I'm a school librarian, so i don't get many strange questions from the kids but...



I worked in a record store all through my (many) undergraduate years and we would get many crazy folks into the store on a regular basis. The overall most common silly request was; " Can you help me find this song? I don't know what it's call or who sings it, but it's about love."

29Scratch Aug 16, 2007, 5:12pm I've had a patron ask me for ice, and another patron ask me for a serving spoon. Perhaps they're mistaking me for a caterer.



I've also had a patron ask for "a book by Huckleberry Finn."



My favorite, though, was the ponytailed young girl who marched up to the ref desk and announced, "I want to donate my hair." We were very busy at that moment and I was temporarily completely baffled, until I remembered the Locks of Love organization that makes wigs for cancer patients.

30Scratch Aug 16, 2007, 5:16pm Nycticebus wrote: "The student wished to have for her presentation 'a photo of the underground railroad.' "



Ha. One man asked me for a photo of Benjamin Banneker (b. 1731, d. 1806).



31ReaderLori Aug 16, 2007, 5:24pm Also, not a librarian, but a former bookstore employee...my favorite was the parent who was looking for a book for her child. "Tess of the Ooba-doobas". I still can't see the book and think of it any other way.

32pandora22 Aug 19, 2007, 7:33pm Heard this one from a librarian at another library (not mine). A person called on the phone and asked what animal was naulghyde made from? I'm assuming you know what naulghyde is. Hope I spelled it right!

33marfita Aug 20, 2007, 11:46am Naugahyde, I fink. The chemical company that produced it had an advertising campaigndecades ago about the "Nauga" that produced this fine furniture cover. V amusing. So, I can see why that might confuse a stupid person. OMG, they're still doing it. I checked.

34echristian5 Aug 20, 2007, 4:14pm Reminds me what my mother complained about when I said I wanted to go to library school. Why had they moved that "red book" ??



I have always wondered if we should not add a "tag" that would include the color of the book....not just the stuff about size, which nobody every uses,,,even if the color might vary with new binding. Maybe binding should always be in the original color.

36marfita Aug 20, 2007, 8:19pm Fresh off the sheet tonight:

1. Do you have any candy?



37mlfhlibrarian Aug 21, 2007, 6:36am "Have you got any Shakespeare in proper English'??!!

38stepintomythimble Aug 21, 2007, 12:48pm I used to manage a local history collection in a public library.



One day a woman called me because a back yard that connected to hers was being excavated. She thought she saw train tracks being dug up, and was wondering whether the house had been on the underground railroad.



Not considering the obvious fact there, this was also in a geographical region where the underground railroad had never operated.



I also worked in a big urban medical center's archives, and was frequently asked which room so-and-so died in.

39fnrlr1 Edited: Aug 21, 2007, 2:41pm This happened to a colleague of mine who works in a photo archives:

A woman came in and wanted a picture "of people crossing the Bering Land Bridge". After my colleague had picked her jaw up off the ground, she explained tactfully that photography hadn't been invented then.



My fave back when I was working the reference desk at my local public library:



A young man came up to the desk where I was working. The reference desk was situated towards the front of the library and in back of us in all directions were bookshelves stretching away into infinity. He said:



"Do you have any books here?"



I didn't laugh, but I wanted to :-)



P.S. I would definitely read a book entitled "Bonfire of the Vampires" :-)

40Nycticebus Edited: Aug 21, 2007, 3:54pm just today:



future freshman - "um, do you have the books for a class?"

me - it's possible, do you have a list of titles?"

ff - "no...."

me - "that's ok, we can usually look them up at the campus bookstore site. What's the name of the class?"

ff - "well, I haven't really chosen my classes yet."

me - ".....??....."

ff - "oh yeah, well, I guess I sorta thought, oh, well, never mind."

me - (laughing) "well, maybe browsing in the bookstore will help you choose your class!"

ff - "oh Yeah! that's it, great idea!!" (leaves happily)



moral of the story - if we can't answer the question, we'll try to answer a different question.



41timepiece Aug 22, 2007, 1:32pm Just last week, I was asked for Canary Road. Luckily, I was fairly alert, and almost immediately offered, "Cannery Row?" which was indeed the desired item.

42kqueue First Message Aug 22, 2007, 4:28pm OK, it's not a book title, but yesterday a patron asked me for help looking up some legal forms on the internet. She went on to explain she had a hard time seeing because of the 'immaculate generation' in her left eye.



I think I sprained a muscle in my face trying not to laugh.

43Proclus Aug 22, 2007, 5:36pm "That book about Hotey the donkey"

44lauraleigh First Message Aug 22, 2007, 7:09pm What a great thread! I'm sitting at home laughing myself into hysterics right now...



I am currently a librarian, but tech services so I rarely get asked the stupid questions.

But once upon a time as a bookstore employee, someone asked me for "a blue book, and the author has a funny name". Amazingly, I found it - it was the latest Kinky Friedman title.





45Nycticebus Aug 22, 2007, 8:48pm



(that's a thought - has anyone every had a patron ask for a book about a surrealist monk from Tibet...?) >43 Proclus: Proclus - no fair! My parents owned a donkey that my sister named "Hote" - she thought she was original. They also had a pet llama named Salvador Dal(a)i...(that's a thought - has anyone every had a patron ask for a book about a surrealist monk from Tibet...?)

46ShellyS Aug 23, 2007, 9:13pm These are all so wonderful. I'm laughing out loud here.



Today a gentleman asked me for mysteries by "that famous author, you know, Agnes Christine." I repeated it to be sure I heard correctly. Yes, he insisted. Do you mean, perhaps, Agatha Christie? I asked. Yes, that was exactly who he meant.

47tinylittlelibrarian Sep 3, 2007, 3:12am I've gotten students wanting Shakespeare "in English" and How to Kill a Mockingbird. One that sticks in my mind was my fault, though:



Teen boy: "I need a book about steroids." I give him the call number. He comes back a bit later, saying he couldn't find anything. I sternly ask if he looked for the right number (mean librarian, I know) and it turns out he wanted.... books on Star Wars. Ooops.



48Anneli Sep 3, 2007, 2:04pm



New England School of Law

http://portia.nesl.edu/screens/well_its_redbks.html



And here is Dave Pattern's Perl script:

http://webcat.hud.ac.uk/perl/colour.pl



You must use hex values of colours there. Here are the hex values if you want to experiment:

http://www.htmlgoodies.com/tutorials/colors/article.php/3478961





There are catalogues where it is possible to search by colour, for example this one:New England School of LawAnd here is Dave Pattern's Perl script:You must use hex values of colours there. Here are the hex values if you want to experiment:

49FFortuna Sep 6, 2007, 5:22am I had a woman come up to me at the desk a week or two ago, asking for books about how to call pigs. We went all over the library and all over the internet and she didn't find anything that suited her... I never did find out why she wanted it, either.

50lilithcat Sep 6, 2007, 9:40am > 49



Maybe she was planning on entering a hog-calling contest?

51FFortuna Edited: Sep 7, 2007, 12:41am



There was also one time a man asked for "Hawthorne Heights," as in the band, instead of either > 50 That's always a possibility. I'll have to check the city event calendar. :DThere was also one time a man asked for "Hawthorne Heights," as in the band, instead of either Wuthering Heights or Nathaniel Hawthorne . He couldn't remember which.

53foggidawn Sep 7, 2007, 10:11pm



"Do you have any I work at the children's desk. The other day I had this question from a parent:"Do you have any Berenstain Bears books? Sorry, I can't remember the name of the author. . ."

54jlane Edited: Sep 8, 2007, 12:53am This message has been deleted by its author.

55LewisTheLibrarian First Message Sep 8, 2007, 8:51pm >45 Nycticebus:

sorry to disappoint, but i've had a pet Donkey Oatie for years! sorry to disappoint, but i've had a pet Donkey Oatie for years!

56leadmomma First Message Sep 8, 2007, 9:24pm I work in a special library and we had a request (w/a straight face) for the Kama Sutra....our collection relates to leadership & management...

Hummm, not part of our collection....

57mokelley First Message Sep 9, 2007, 1:54am I once had a little old white lady ask me for a book on how to make Africans. I couldn't think of a single thing to say but luckily she began to elaborate that she wanted any kind of needlework or knitting book. It was then that I realized she was after books on how to make afghans. Whew!

59queenazura First Message Sep 14, 2007, 4:18pm I just found this and had to add my two cents, as it were :)



Regarding the request for a photo of the underground railroad, I had someone ask me for a photo of Jesus. Not a painting, not an artistic impression (since I asked this) but an acutal photograph.



The other amusing thing I thought of sprang to mind when reading the comment about hog-calling. I had someone ask for a book on taxidermy, but he didn't want one for large animals, but for small ones, like squirrels.

60FFortuna Sep 14, 2007, 8:16pm >59 queenazura: Maybe he didn't have room for bigger animals? Nothing like a good stuffed squirrel in the living room to greet guests, that's what I always say... ;)

61jewinda Sep 15, 2007, 6:24am What a funny thread!



Overheard in a bookstore today:

Customer asks for "some book, I dunno what it was but the movie was on Pay TV (cable) the other day". He couldn't remember anything else - no plot, no title, no actors. The 2 sales asst's were incredibly patient - much more than I would have been! - and gently suggested that if he could remember a little more then they could try and help. The man then walks away in a huff muttering to his wife "Maybe if they spent less time gossiping and more time reading they could do their jobs properly" Nice, huh.



I got asked (public library) if we had any books on propagating marijuana a little while back. Managed to stifle a chuckle and suggest he try the internet.

62Nycticebus Sep 15, 2007, 1:31pm Sometimes when I report "funny" questions I worry that I've slipped over into patron-bashing rather than light-hearted amusement. These might fall into the former category.



At our college library, we often encounter students who don't want to read an assigned book. They'll ask if there's a book-on-tape version, a video, a plot-summary, etc. Once a student asked whether just reading the Amazon reviews wouldn't be good enough.



Over the summer a student stopped at the desk for help locating an assigned novel that had been stolen from the collection. I explained her options, each of which would have required either expense or time that she wasn't prepared to give up. Finally, she said, pen and notebook at the ready "can't you just tell me what happens in the story?"



63Unreachableshelf Sep 16, 2007, 1:47pm Well, the book in itself wasn't funny, but about a half an hour ago a patron asked me to place a request on a book so that he could pick it up next week rather than wait five minutes while I got it sent up from storage in the basement. And he didn't leave immediately, so it wasn't like he didn't have five minutes to wait. He was also assuring me that he'd pay circulation $0.41 for the stamp if we'd send him a letter to let him know that it's here (sending notification by mail when a request is available is standard).

64judylou Edited: Sep 17, 2007, 12:39am This message has been deleted by its author.

65judylou Sep 17, 2007, 12:36am



Love it! Slightly off topic . . . but . . . I was reading the storybook Diary of a Wombat (wonderful book by the way) to a group of children and after reading the title asked the children if they knew what a diary was. A hand goes up in the back row and one of the little darlings says "its when you have really runny poos".Love it!

66caslib Sep 17, 2007, 1:06am We're a fisheries/aquatic sciences library for a scientific research group with about 120 staff. My favourite request was from a primary school pupil (about 5-6 Grade in the US) which read something like "Dear Sir ... Please send me all the information you have on fish ..."

67mschuyler Edited: Sep 29, 2007, 3:37pm Sometimes the joke is on us. I know at least one library that catalogued "The Life of an Iceberg" under Biographies.

68aesop First Message Oct 2, 2007, 6:53pm The same man came in on consecutive days and asked me:



1 "How do you milk bats?"

2 "What kind of hinges should I put on my shed?"



The first query I made safe by finding out that it is in fact illegal to keep bats as pets in the UK. (I don't know if that implies that it's necessarily illegal to keep them as a dairy herd though.) However he is now duly informed.



The second one I had a little chat with him about what the door was made of, how big etc, and, um, what he was keeping in the shed. Crucial factors.



69aesop Oct 2, 2007, 6:57pm Just yesterday I was explaining that, in order to look for "Bach" on the OPAC, one had actually to type in the composer's name as well as simply look at the screen. "It was so much easier when you had the cards". What, Zenner cards?

72bibberly Oct 3, 2007, 12:26pm I work in a school library, and students seem to think we can answer any questions about anything going on in the school. Every day I get about 10 students asking when the I.D. cards will be in, for example. But my favorite FAQ is:

"I went to Mr. So-and-so's room, and he's not there. Where would he be instead?" Then they get irritated when I say that he might be at lunch, but he could be pretty much anywhere for all I know.



I also have lots of students asking for fiction where a kid dies.

73ellevee Oct 3, 2007, 9:46pm Today some guy came into the bookstore and said, "I don't know the title or the author, but it had a number in the title. Where would I find it?"



I nearly cried. Seriously.

74FionaCat Oct 4, 2007, 8:14pm



Yes, I think students assume that we know EVERYTHING in the library. Even though most of the time we are out of the loop...



The other day I had a girl ask for "that book that my friend had at the end of last year, the one about all kinds of facts and stuff." She thought it was blue. After quite a bit of questioning and brainstorming we figured out she was looking for #72:Yes, I think students assume that we know EVERYTHING in the library. Even though most of the time we are out of the loop...The other day I had a girl ask for "that book that my friend had at the end of last year, the one about all kinds of facts and stuff." She thought it was blue. After quite a bit of questioning and brainstorming we figured out she was looking for Pick me up , which is RED.

75lmmvirago First Message Oct 6, 2007, 8:53pm My favorite book request was for a book called "Angel Dust." I sent the patron to the illegal drug section of our library. With the help of a colleague I was eventually able to figure out she really wanted "Angela's Ashes."



My favorite non-book request was the person who asked a colleague if she would take her to a grocery store to buy a pork roast. The patron also wanted to know if she could cook it in the staff room when they got back. No and uh, no.



Early in my career I got asked a question by one of our long term homeless patrons. She wanted the UFO book that had a picture of her father in it because he was the first person to ever fly over the Antarctica in a UFO. Being young, I thought fast on my feet. I commented that she must be very proud of him. We never found the book, but she went away very happy!

76FFortuna Oct 6, 2007, 11:03pm We had a patron a few weeks ago asking if we had a spare plastic spoon. He prefaced it by saying he knew it was a weird question, which places him above most of our weird patrons, but still.

77tinylittlelibrarian Oct 7, 2007, 2:39am We've been asked for a can opener for a homeless guy's can of beans.

78bitter_suite Oct 7, 2007, 12:37pm I work in a law library, and I had a patron ask for a book on laws concerning psychics and ESP. I didn't think the request was too odd. At least I didn't until the patron went on to give his reason for wanting those books - he thought someone in the government was spying on him using ESP and he wanted to sue him. Not that he had any idea who this specific person spying might be. It was just "someone in the government".

79mschuyler Oct 7, 2007, 2:31pm Hey, 78, that's common. Take a look on www.abovetopsecret.com and be amazed. They never met a conspiracy they didn't like.

80circeus Oct 8, 2007, 6:48pm Actually, they recently revealed the US secret services performed ESP-based operation during the cold war and several times since (Although I doubt Home spying was ever involved).

81Donogh Oct 9, 2007, 10:29am The last time I worked on an issue desk (1998) I got a request from a student for "that green book with the dinosaur on it".

To my own surprise (and probably to my colleagues' detriment I reached back to the shelving trolley and pulled out the book (something on programming - C++ maybe) and handed it over!

82megkrahl Oct 9, 2007, 12:02pm That poor student probably wonders why all librarians can't do that trick!

83mschuyler Oct 9, 2007, 12:53pm Had to have been an O'Reilly book. Most have pictures of animals on their covers.

84dcmdale Oct 9, 2007, 1:49pm #83 -- "Had to have been an O'Reilly book. Most have pictures of animals on their covers."



... and, in the technical community, are frequently referred to by that animal. I have the "Polar Bear" book and the "Rhino" book sitting on my desk right now. The animal is also on the spine so that you can find the "Camel" book on a shelf.

85lovelytoreadyou Oct 10, 2007, 12:43pm 76: Students come up and ask for plastic utensils all the time. Some of the more polite ones preface their questions with.. "I know this is a weird question, but..." Oddly enough, we usually have some in the back.

86mkayrice First Message Oct 10, 2007, 1:22pm What is it with people asking for food in bookstores? When I worked at a bookstore we had someone ask for mustard! And this was a small independent bookstore that barely had enough room for books, let alone condiments!



Now that I work in a library, I've had the following requests:



A photograph of Jesus



A biography on Murray Currie (I guess that's Marie's less well-known brother)



A request for a pink book with an elephant on it about telling time (I actually knew which one she was talking about, but it was a hippo)



A guide book to help a patron identify the little people that she sees on her lawn (I swear I can't make this stuff up!) When I finally suggested a book called "Things that Never Were" I actually felt bad thinking the woman was going to be offended by that title! Boy, I had to have a my own reality check after that one.



A woman told me that God was telling her that she couldn't read The Witch of Blackbird Pond because she got a shock when she tried to take it off the shelf.



We also had a patron looking for The Wonderful Wizard of Oz to share with her kids before seeing some kind of display at the mall. We didn't have the book, but when my colleague suggested the movie, the woman said, "They made that into a movie?" Proof positive that aliens walk among us!

87mhasel Oct 10, 2007, 2:22pm I'm an assistant in a dental specality library. I once got a request for a movie of a certain orthodontic procedure. It tried to direct him to various lectures we have on videotape but he insisted the information was on film and ended up describing the box it was in and how long it was. Turns out he had donated some items to the library and was just fishing to see if they were in circulation.

88Dragonfly Oct 13, 2007, 11:06pm

We kept getting requests for the birth certificates of famous people such as George Washington. After the first few times we realized that some educator had come up with an assignment where the kids were to collect information on their person and then make up a document that person would have if they lived in modern times. Clever idea. Unfortunately, the kids didn't quite get the point. Even more so, their mothers, coming in to get the stuff for them, didn't get the point. I'm still surprised by my own response when a boy marched up to the ref desk, looked and me and said simply, "Where is the mouse book?' I sent him downstairs for Redwall which was indeed what he wanted. Since I'm neither a children's librarian nor do I have any children, I'm still wondering what mental depths I pulled that out of.We kept getting requests for the birth certificates of famous people such as George Washington. After the first few times we realized that some educator had come up with an assignment where the kids were to collect information on their person and then make up a document that person would have if they lived in modern times. Clever idea. Unfortunately, the kids didn't quite get the point. Even more so, their mothers, coming in to get the stuff for them, didn't get the point.

89ellevee Oct 14, 2007, 1:59pm Two people in one day came up to me and demanded blank pieces of paper. I offered them the scrap paper that I use, and they were very annoyed. I told them they could go down to the basement and buy a journal, but that was the only paper I had.



Also, someone asked for fabric to make curtains.

90Unreachableshelf Oct 14, 2007, 4:22pm When the library first opened today, a woman handed one of my coworkers a twig off a tree outside, wanting to know if the pods on it were edible.

91lovelytoreadyou Oct 19, 2007, 12:34pm Dear lord someone just asked me for "some big books with colorful pictures, you know... so I can make photocopies. And that big red book... with the donkey. You know what I'm talking about, right?" AHHHH

92tandyk Oct 19, 2007, 7:30pm I've enjoyed reading through these posts. Here's one from a patron this summer, not a book request, but a patron requesting to use the internet with his pet birds perched on his shoulders. I kid you not, at least he stopped to ask first.

93jmgold Oct 20, 2007, 9:32am We had a patron come into the local history department and ask if we had any materials about the history of the town.

94bitter_suite Oct 21, 2007, 10:13am I get this sometimes:



Me (on the phone): Hello, reference. May I help you?

Patron: Is this is the reference department?

95kicking_k Edited: Oct 21, 2007, 6:11pm



I remember two particular conversations from my bookshop days.



A lady thought she wanted "Pole Star" or maybe "Northern Star" as a present for her father. Did she mean "Northern Lights" (aka



Fortunately I could work that one out:



Another time: "Do you have 'Around Human Women'?" Who was the author? The lady didn't know, but the book had been mentioned on Women's Hour on Radio 4 - she was sure about the title, but hadn't caught the author's name. Nothing came up on the computer.



We went through various possibilities, but nothing sounded right to her. I was baffled. The next day, we got a delivery of lots of copies of Jane Juska's A Round-Heeled Woman. Sigh. Heh. My husband owns the green book with the dinosaurs on it, and it is indeed referred to by computer-science people simply as "the dinosaur book". (To make it even weirder, they're sitting drinking coffee - Java, I suppose!)I remember two particular conversations from my bookshop days.A lady thought she wanted "Pole Star" or maybe "Northern Star" as a present for her father. Did she mean "Northern Lights" (aka The Golden Compass ? She thought so. I described the setting. No, no, she wanted a book about a ship.Fortunately I could work that one out: Star of the Sea . (Though I later found out there's a short story by Arthur Conan Doyle called "The Captain of the Pole-Star"... but I'm pretty sure we got it right.)Another time: "Do you have 'Around Human Women'?" Who was the author? The lady didn't know, but the book had been mentioned on Women's Hour on Radio 4 - she was sure about the title, but hadn't caught the author's name. Nothing came up on the computer.We went through various possibilities, but nothing sounded right to her. I was baffled. The next day, we got a delivery of lots of copies of Jane Juska's A Round-Heeled Woman. Sigh.

96HoldenCarver Oct 22, 2007, 12:52pm One day I was doing some shelving, and a lady came up to me and asked me where the teas were. I was slightly confused, but took it in my stride and told her



"Well, we don't serve any tea in here, but there's a coffee shop just outside."



Turned out that she was looking for where the section with authors with surnames beginning with the letter 'T' were. Whoops. She saw the funny side, though.

97differentbeat Oct 22, 2007, 2:17pm



1) Just yesterday I got the hard candy question, prefaced by, "This might sound weird, but do you have any..."



2)Once, a woman came in doing research for a class. She had to write a paper about Mexico. When I searched our card catalogue, it brought up results for New Mexico as well, and as I was scrolling past them, I said, "Oh, these are about New Mexico, so you won't want those." To which she replied, "Well...what's NEW Mexico?" I felt like I deserved a medal for explaining, very calmly, "A U.S. state?"



3)A young girl came in the other day for a school paper. She said she'd just read a book called



4)An older lady came in and asked me for "that book by the author with the bald head and the beard." I informed her that, sadly, I had no way to search by physical description of the author in my catalogue.



5)A gentleman coming in telling me that he was looking for a 'big thick book' by an author whose last name was 'Michaels' and that he's written lots and lots of books. Fortunately, I was on my game that day, and after a little probing, we discovered he meant James Michener's



6)A patron asking why we couldn't have a bell dinging when a ticket number for the computers pops up. I said, "Well, sir...um...it's a library?"



I'll probably think of and add more later. I get a few every day. :) This thread is making me laugh so hard. I have a few to share as well.1) Just yesterday I got the hard candy question, prefaced by, "This might sound weird, but do you have any..."2)Once, a woman came in doing research for a class. She had to write a paper about Mexico. When I searched our card catalogue, it brought up results for New Mexico as well, and as I was scrolling past them, I said, "Oh, these are about New Mexico, so you won't want those." To which she replied, "Well...what's NEW Mexico?" I felt like I deserved a medal for explaining, very calmly, "A U.S. state?"3)A young girl came in the other day for a school paper. She said she'd just read a book called Night by Elie Wiesel , and she thought this holocaust thing was fascinating...did we have any more books about that? How about movies?4)An older lady came in and asked me for "that book by the author with the bald head and the beard." I informed her that, sadly, I had no way to search by physical description of the author in my catalogue.5)A gentleman coming in telling me that he was looking for a 'big thick book' by an author whose last name was 'Michaels' and that he's written lots and lots of books. Fortunately, I was on my game that day, and after a little probing, we discovered he meant James Michener's Chesapeake 6)A patron asking why we couldn't have a bell dinging when a ticket number for the computers pops up. I said, "Well, sir...um...it's a library?"I'll probably think of and add more later. I get a few every day. :)

98kaelirenee Oct 22, 2007, 3:54pm Some of my favorites from the Reference Desk at a university...



There was the patron who wanted to know where to find a book about gods. After about 15 minutes, I weedled out of him that he needed a book that compared Buddhism and Jainism.



Another patron wanted to know why he couldn't find obituaries for James Dean on Proquest Historical Newspapers, even though he had so dilligently set the limiter...to the day James Dean died. I had to explain that generally, obituaries don't come out until at least the next day...thank goodness he said it before I did..."I'm an idiot!"



And of course, the patron who needed an explination in a sentence or two as to why God allows bad things to happen (I am not exagerating) for her Intro to Theology class. I tried to explain as calmly as I could that that is essentially what her entire class is about.



As one of my friends (a highschool librarian) points out to me...this is the cream of the crop.

99fleurdiabolique Oct 23, 2007, 1:14am #97 --



Could the answer to 4 possibly have been Shel Silverstein? IIRC, there's a big picture of him on the back of most of his books, and he is bald with a beard...

100tristero1959 Oct 23, 2007, 2:05am From a part-time bookseller: A woman wanted a new book but she didn't remember the title, author or what it was about. It was science fiction and it was the author's second book. I went over the new table with her and scanned through the hardcovers in science fiction. Then I went over to literature and picked up Ken Follett's World Without End (it's sort of his second nonspy thriller) and that was it! She opened the book and read something in the front that she recognized, apparently a character's name. She knew almost nothing about the book, and what she thought she knew was wrong, but we found it anyway (that's why we get the big bucks!). Happy searching!

101differentbeat Oct 23, 2007, 9:16am #99 - Ha, no, and actually, we managed to find the book by a stroke of luck. She said she was looking for a diet book, but I tried searching nutrition and ended up finding a name that sounded familiar to her: Dr. Weil. When we went to the section, it turned out that Dr. Weil does, in fact, have a beard and a bald head! Sometimes I'm amazed at the stuff we're able to find with such little information...

102theAshLad Oct 23, 2007, 10:37am 101, differentbeat: Oh, I'm so glad you responded with the answer to this, because Dr. Weil was the first person I thought of when I read "with the bald head and the beard," even though I wasn't actually sure if he had written any books. Of course, I work with Oh, I'm so glad you responded with the answer to this, because Dr. Weil was the first person I thought of when I read "with the bald head and the beard," even though I wasn't actually sure if he had written any books. Of course, I work with Origins a lot in my current job.

103missylc Oct 23, 2007, 11:58am That's so funny -- I was debating between Weil and Silverstein in my head as I read down this thread too -- glad you figured it out!

104FionaCat Oct 23, 2007, 5:14pm I have had a lot of students the last few days asking to "use a library" when they meant to ask if they could use a computer. Don't know what's up with that :)

105nickhoonaloon Oct 24, 2007, 5:52am Years ago a relative of mine used to work in a medical library, and part of her job was to photocopy parts of books on request from library users. Often they would need a particular page or picture enlarged.



On one occasion, a young doctor approached her desk with a book contaning a picture of a male reproductive organ. With the ability of the young to unwittingly tempt fate he handed the picture over and asked "Can I have it enlarged ?"



You can hardly blame her for making a joke, though I gather it wasn`t well-received !





106Ui_Niall Oct 24, 2007, 9:24am #97 Did you take a look at my earlier post (posting #4, I believe)? What is it about this book by Michener that nobody can remember the title or author? *GRIN*

107Ui_Niall Edited: Oct 24, 2007, 7:27pm The patron who wanted the names and addresses of federal and state agencies who were in control of alien plants. The local police "refused" to give her the info and the city kept cutting down the plant but it kept growing back and was making alien pods to spread all over the city. She knew it was an "alien" plant because someone told her so, and she understood "alien" to refer to beings from other planets...so it should be destroyed. Apparently, she had no idea that "alien" could mean foreign or not native.



A patron who wanted the book that said that SHE (Mary) was the mother of Jesus.



Photographs of obscure African American Inventors from pre-1860.

108ellevee Oct 24, 2007, 8:34pm 50 Cent signed his 'book' at our store yesterday and we had a plethora of idiotic questions.



'Why is the book 35 dollars?'



'Is Fifty there? Can I speak to him? I want to say hi!'



Then, when we closed off the section for the signing, and people were PISSED.



'I'm sorry, the section is closed. Can we find a book for you?'

'I just want to browse.'

'I'm sorry, we can't let anyone in.'

'What about me? Can't I go in?'

'No. Nobody can. Only Fifty.'

'Well, who is he?'

'....'

109bibberly Oct 29, 2007, 12:57pm I am often asked where the fiction by African-American authors is kept, as if perhaps we segregate our books by the author's race.

A teacher's aide came in looking for a specific book for a student who was at a low reading level. I helped her find it and told her that we had it in both hardcover and paperback, so it was up to her which she wanted. She asked me which version was a higher reading level.

110missylc Oct 29, 2007, 1:03pm LOL regarding the reading level -- that is a new one!



I think maybe the first question may have been related to how some bookstores arrange their sections. I worked at a bookstore outside of D.C. where we had an African-American section that included books (both fiction and nonfiction) by, for and about African-Americans. It made it easier for the salespeople to do this because we had such high demand for these items. This may lead to the expectation that libraries would do the same.

111FFortuna Oct 29, 2007, 3:41pm >109 bibberly: My library has a sticker on the spine for books of African-American interest, because there is a high demand for them, but we don't have them in their own section...

112lilithcat Oct 29, 2007, 3:57pm > 111



My branch library has both the sticker, and a separate section in the "New books" area, for African-American interest.



The branch library in a part of town with a large gay population has a separate section for glbt books.

113sadiegrrrl Oct 29, 2007, 4:00pm >109 bibberly:



at my library we have a section just of african american authors because it is part of a special collection that was donated to the library many years ago. we frequently add new books to the section as well. at my library we have a section just of african american authors because it is part of a special collection that was donated to the library many years ago. we frequently add new books to the section as well.

114skf Edited: Oct 30, 2007, 8:31am I just wanted to point out to all you librarians with great senses of humor--the rest of us obviously think you know everything!



Thanks for being so helpful and long suffering.



And thanks for sharing in this thread. I've enjoyed a laugh.



By the way, do you have the book, "The Mixed Up Files of ..." somebody about two kids who run away and live in a museum in NYC? I think it's red and white.



(Just kidding! I bought my own copy a couple of years ago.)

115librarianlk Oct 29, 2007, 11:53pm A teenage girl asked our media librarian about a BBC video: "What's the rating on this?" Librarian had to explain that British don't use MPAA ratings. This apparently raised a number of questions: "They speak British? Are there subtitles?" Librarian and teenage girl's friend both tried to explain that the British live in England, where they speak English. Apparently patron was confused about the difference between accents and languages.

Also, a (different) teenage girl asked me for books about the Holocaust, because, as she explained, "I love, love, LOVE the Holocaust!"

116lilithcat Oct 30, 2007, 9:00am > 115



Actually, I often use the closed captioning or subtitle button on my DVD player when watching British movies in which there are heavy regional dialects.

117Unreachableshelf Oct 30, 2007, 12:28pm >9 shmjay:



Yes, we have stickers/sections for African American authors/interests in our libraries, since there are so many requests for them. Whether it's a special section or a sticker depends on the branch. If it's a book that it's worth having more than one copy of, we usually have a copy in the AA collection and wherever it would be filed otherwise. (



>114 skf:



Well, I've probably got it around my house somewhere, but I don't think that will help you. And that would be an easy question even if I didn't know the book: you know the beginning of the title. Yes, we have stickers/sections for African American authors/interests in our libraries, since there are so many requests for them. Whether it's a special section or a sticker depends on the branch. If it's a book that it's worth having more than one copy of, we usually have a copy in the AA collection and wherever it would be filed otherwise. ( I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings ? All over our library. We've got copies in the AA collection, the classics collection, and probably some in the regular biographies, too.)Well, I've probably got it around my house somewhere, but I don't think that will help you. And that would be an easy question even if I didn't know the book: you know the beginning of the title.

118bibberly Oct 30, 2007, 1:29pm I understand where you are all coming from with the African-American collections. However, I work in a school library, so we just have one fiction collection.



I had a student ask me the name of "the book about the two brothers, and they take a trip, and one is special." Once I figured out that she meant "special" as a euphemism for mentally disabled, I was able to pin down Of Mice and Men.



Oh, and as I was typing this, a student asked me if we get our books from Wal-Mart. He had seen a a good book there and wondered if we could go pick it up.

119jkcohen Oct 30, 2007, 4:23pm In fact, Naugahyde got its name because it was invented and produced in Naugatuck, Connecticut, a small industrial town in the Connecticut River Valley.

120Furu Oct 30, 2007, 7:17pm > 115 & 116



I usually use subtitles for movies with non US/Canadian English speakers too. Just makes it a little easier to understand, even though I've had a lot of friends from pretty much every English speaking country so you'd think I'd be used to it by now.



In fact it reminds me of the little funny thing before a lot of the shows on BBC America, that say something like 'The British accent is ridiculous! So if you want to understand anything, use your closed captioning' and then proceeds to tell you how to turn CC on.



As for the Holocaust thing, I kind of know what the girl means. I have this unexplainable fascination with reading about the Chinese Cultural Revolution, even though it gives me nightmares. I'd never make the mistake of saying something like 'I LOVE the Cultural Revolution!' though. I just hope she meant that she can't help wanting to read all she can about it. ;)

121jjwilson61 Oct 30, 2007, 8:40pm I always turn the captions on. Sometimes the dialog isn't clear enough and it helps when the kids are screaming.

122librarianlk Nov 2, 2007, 3:00am Furu, yes, I think she meant that it was a great reading interest of hers (mine too for that matter!) She is a very enthusiastic reader of anything she can get about Helen Keller too.

123Nickelini Nov 2, 2007, 1:20pm I'm not a librarian, but I am enjoying this thread so much.



Here's a conversation I overheard at a bookstore:



An older woman with messy grey hair, sounding agitated asked "Where are your books on witchcraft?"



The bookstore employee showed her the occult section, and she seemed overwhelmed by the vast selection, and said "I need a book that can teach me to cast spells."



I can just imagine her as some kooky woman who was driving her neighbours crazy, and someone probably called her a witch. I wonder how it all turned out





124FFortuna Nov 2, 2007, 3:56pm A patron came in today asking for "the book with the boat on the cover, after the Lord of the Rings." We finally found the Silmarillion . :)

125ezwicky Nov 2, 2007, 6:16pm I have to say that the local children's librarians were very good sports when my 3.5 year old daughter requested a book about a real person (not a gingerbread person) who says "You can't catch me!" We didn't find one (and she keeps asking, and saying she just knows they have it) but they did their very best. They keep hoping she'll ask for something interesting but findable, but since then it's just been that and requests for books about dogs, cats, and dinosaurs. I don't need help finding picture books about those.

126Absurda Nov 2, 2007, 6:56pm That phrase, "you can't catch me" rang some bells with me, but, since I don't work with children's books, I couldn't quite place it. I did a google search and came up with:



Peter Pan. There's a part where Peter says, "you can't catch me and make me grow up" or something like that.



I also turned up a picture book by Michael Rosen called "You Can't Catch Me!" There's supposed to be a poem in there called You Can't Catch Me, Grumblebelly. I've never read it, though so I can't say for sure.





127infiniteletters Nov 2, 2007, 7:44pm Unless you're meaning Maniac Magee, but I doubt a 3-year-old would know that book...

128kaelirenee Nov 3, 2007, 5:35pm



Here are a couple of things I found...I hope one of these are what she was looking for!



You can't catch me is a line in

http://www.amazon.com/Cant-Catch-Harper-Growing-Tree/dp/0694010383

http://www.amazon.com/You-Cant-Catch-Annabel-Collis/dp/0316152374/ref=sr_1_2/104...

Too bad she knows it's a real person, because my first thought when I read that was



Dang it, now I want to know the book she was looking for!



Ezwicky-Your daughter is much clearer about her book needs than alot of grownup patrons!Here are a couple of things I found...I hope one of these are what she was looking for!You can't catch me is a line in Chicka Chicka Boom Boom (about the Alphabet, it was featured on a Blue's Clues episode)Too bad she knows it's a real person, because my first thought when I read that was Stinky Cheese Man Dang it, now I want to know the book she was looking for!

129marfita Nov 4, 2007, 3:39pm

What happened to Dr. Seuss? The short stories?

That was the book, and our branch's copies were out, the bookmobile had a copy (but it's locked up), and the remaining copy was in transit. "Oh, yeah - that's the one my mom is having sent over. They said it would be here Monday, but she needs it Tuesday and wanted to be sure she got it."

Soooo, you Just this minute - no really - I was asked for the book with the story in it, "Under the Kapok Tree." She added that it was in a book of short stories by Dr. Seuss and that she'd seen the picture of it on our catalog page. We don't have any book by that description, but we do have Lynne Cherry's The great Kapok tree , the only book that has any reference to "kapok" in any of its fields. "Oh, that's it! But I'll check with Mom, that was the author."What happened to Dr. Seuss? The short stories?That was the book, and our branch's copies were out, the bookmobile had a copy (but it's locked up), and the remaining copy was in transit. "Oh, yeah - that's the one my mom is having sent over. They said it would be here Monday, but she needs it Tuesday and wanted to be sure she got it."Soooo, you have a copy on hold, but you want to bother me about it for ten minutes?

130LeesyLou Nov 20, 2007, 12:53pm Years ago I worked in a particular political-oriented library and there was a (possibly apocryphal) story that the reference desk had received a call telling them, "We got a verbal report about a gorilla attack in Yemen! Are there really gorillas in Yemen?"



I think we can all work out the obvious guerilla attack.

131lolvstein First Message Nov 21, 2007, 2:14pm "Oranges and Peaches" is from "Party Girl"! But probably has some more respectable origin.

132PatVasilik Nov 23, 2007, 1:12am How old is the dirt in Kentucky? was one of my favorites. But last week in the course of one hour:

"Where is your 100 page book section?" from a middle school student.

"Where are your ig books?" from a parent. (She wanted books that contained words that had the letters "ig" in them -- wig, pig, etc.)

And finally, "Where are your books on stars?" In showing the student (about 6th grade) where the astronomy books were, she was quite exasperated. No, REAL STARS! Translation: celebrities.

You have to love working with the public!

133amysisson Nov 23, 2007, 2:28am Re: 132 ^



I was a cataloger for a curriculum library for a college's education department, so education students had to come in and find books for different purposes, especially to teach reading. So they wanted books on the letter "T" for instance. As far as I know, there aren't subject headings to cover that, so we tried to create some of our own where possible -- which a cataloger always feels ambivalent about, but there was no other way for the students to find those books!



I LOVED that job. I'm not good with kids, but I love children's books and I love cataloging. Wish I could have stayed in that job, but we needed to move out of state for my husband's work. I like my current job a lot, but I miss cataloging.

134ulan25 Nov 29, 2007, 7:39am I am not a librarian. I just wanted to salute all of you librarians who go through these funny/frustrating situations as part of your job.



*passes cookies around* (for eating outside the library, of course. this is a library! no cookies, just books!)



*applauds everyone*



More stories please =)

135soxfan364 Nov 30, 2007, 3:28pm Someone recently mentioned "Tequila Mockingbird" for To Kill a Mockingbird

136weener Edited: Nov 30, 2007, 4:41pm I love this thread! I'm still only a library assistant, but please don't kick me out of this group. I work for the Telephone Reference desk of a busy big-city library, so you can only imagine the questions I get. One of my favorites was an obviously anti-Semetic guy asking "Do Jews ever admit that Jesus was a Jew?" When I replied that I couldn't speak for all the beliefs of all Jewish people he asked "What about the Highest Jew in the Land?"



As an added bonus, our phone number is frequently confused with the police department's non-emergency line so we get a lot of calls for them. I got a woman once who was furious to see "Mexicans" drinking beers outdoors and wanted to know what we were going to do about it!

137mcconchc First Message Dec 3, 2007, 10:58pm I was asked by a teen for a photo of Jesus. When I tried showing art books with paintings by, you know, Michelangelo, Da Vinci etc. the student insisted, no, it must be a photo.



Well, what can I say?!

138skf Dec 4, 2007, 12:04pm Here are a few from our library:



Washing Elephants

The Lion With the Wardrobe

Less Miserables



The Hiding Place by Carrington Boone



Okay, I give up. I got them all except "Washing Elephants". Please enlighten me.



Thanks.

140sadiegrrrl Dec 7, 2007, 5:41pm yet another variation...



i had a teen ask for "how teela killed a mocking bird" by "lee somebody"...icing on the cake...she had her syllabus IN HER HAND!

141differentbeat Dec 7, 2007, 7:09pm For the first time today, I got to explain that the underground railroad is not a real railroad. I feel like I joined some long-standing tradition finally. I'M A REAL LIBRARIAN NOW!!!!

142reptiliancandy Dec 10, 2007, 2:30pm Not a request, but a patron called today and asked how you spell 'Ebenezer'. He also asked how to pronounce the last name 'Imperioli' (he spelled it for me). I just started working at this library, but my fellow circ staff tells me this man calls most weekdays with random questions. We don't know anything about him, just that he must think highly of us being that he uses us as his own personal google. :)

143jenfarquhar First Message Dec 12, 2007, 8:39am I'm an academic librarian, but I work part-time in a public library which is where I tend to get the odder questions. Two that come to mind are a patron who called to ask whether it was "Beavis and Butthead" or "Beavis ampersand Butthead". The other was a women who came up to the Reference desk clutching a tissue. She opened it, held it out to me and asked "Is this a west nile mosquito?".

144kcasada Dec 12, 2007, 12:41pm The "You can't catch me" line also appears in one version of the Five Little Monkeys Sitting in a Tree rhyme . . .

145melawen Dec 12, 2007, 2:35pm As a Health Care Librarian, I don't get the really funny ones like Tequila Mockingbird, but we do get a few funny queries.



In my previous library we had a few copies of a book that was subtitled "A Reader" and we used to get to so many requests for that book by the author A. Reader.



Like many of you I am sure, we get people who just hang on to books forever!! We had someone in the library just the other week who was so very insistent that we had a particular book and why wasn't it on the shelf? We did have the book - it had been issued to her about six months ago!!

146emmelisa Jan 5, 2008, 12:50pm Two of my favorites, from years of public library work: First,the lady who came in wanting "books by Ella Moore". A catalog search turned up nothing at all, and the patron was righteously indignant: "You mean this library doesn't have any books by Louise Ella Moore, the famous Western writer?" Ah. Yes, we do have the books by Louis L'Amour. And then there is my favorite recurring question, one I seem to get asked at the beginning of every year's summer library program: "When do you have your swimming lessons?" What there is in some people's minds to connect libraries with swimming pools is beyond me!

147DancingLibrarian First Message Jan 8, 2008, 11:46am Not so much a funny request, as a comment I've heard - behind the reference desk at my library is the ready reference collection, and one of the larger, more visible titles is "Gray's Anatomy." Several patrons (of varying ages!) have seen it and remarked, "Wow! I didn't know that was a BOOK too!"

148kaelirenee Jan 8, 2008, 1:17pm Playing on that same theme...we have a scale model of Anne Hathaway's home, a beautiful and large home that is very cottage-looking. We're a university with a decent emphasis on literature, so one would think more students would know who Shakespeare's wife was. The number of times I've heard "Wow, I thought she made more money than that. I've seen her in so many movies," or something along those lines is depressing.

149tinylittlelibrarian Jan 8, 2008, 9:35pm



>146 emmelisa: Yup, we get the same thing at SRC time, too. Although this year it was soccer lessons, I think, rather than swimming. And they always think we offer free day camps, that we'll babysit their children all day for free. When we say we don't do that and point out that the Parks Dept. has *paid* programs like that, they're horrified.

150bibberly Jan 9, 2008, 12:22pm #149: I worked three summers at a summer camp program through the local parks department - and parents seem to also think that will be free. :)

151emmelisa Jan 19, 2008, 5:21pm >149 tinylittlelibrarian: --We have the same weary struggle every summer with the parents in our area. I can usually get them to think again about this just by remarking, "I'm sorry, we're not licensed to provide child care." I honestly think, though, that many people are used to having their children watched all day in school for "free" (forgetting that they pay taxes for the service). So, the library is an educational institution, right? And educational institutions are supposed to watch kids for free, right? Sigh.



152cookebooks First Message Jan 20, 2008, 6:41pm 144 - Shel Silverstein's poem The Slithergadee (either in Light in the Attic or Where the Sidewalk Ends) repeats, "No, you can't catch me, You Slithergadee, You Can catch all the others but you can't catch me." Forgive the inaccuracies, I'm at home, not at work where the info ends.

My K-8 students are often told there is no 'scary' section, we're a library, not a bookstore!

Two of my public library requests:

Brilliant high school girl returning 'Les Miserables' asks "How does it end?". Turns out that in 40 years of ownership, not ONE person had read to the last 40 MISSING pages! We got her another copy!

We also served as an informal chamber of commerce for our touristy town. One day a harried and flustered volunteer fielded a quest for a local motel, "Where is Manzanita Cabins?" "Oh, dear," Peggy answered, "who wrote it?"

153kaelirenee Jan 20, 2008, 7:00pm



I was getting lunch today on my way to work. The cashier asked what I did that had me going to work on a Sunday, so I told him-I'm a librarian. He got a look on his face and said "Oh, can you suggest a book for me to read then?" I asked him what he was interested in. He said "A little bit of everything." So I told him to read a little bit of everything.



In the end, I recommended OK, this wasn't quite a reference question, but it was still an odd one...I was getting lunch today on my way to work. The cashier asked what I did that had me going to work on a Sunday, so I told him-I'm a librarian. He got a look on his face and said "Oh, can you suggest a book for me to read then?" I asked him what he was interested in. He said "A little bit of everything." So I told him to read a little bit of everything.In the end, I recommended A history of the world in 6 glasses

154StaceyLyn First Message Jan 21, 2008, 1:16pm The following interaction occurred just last week...



Patron: "Where are your history books?"



Me: "What kind of history?"



Patron: dead serious, "Books about stuff that has already happened..."



*sigh*...I guess maybe I could have been more specific in my questioning...

155differentbeat Jan 21, 2008, 10:55pm 154> That reminds me of a patron I had the other day who asked for books about braiding hair. I took her to the section, and she said, "But these are all for white girls." (The patron was white.) "I need hair braiding for black girls."



So I found her a book on braiding black hair. "But this isn't about care of the hair. I need to know how to care for it."



I found her a book on black hair care. "This is too detailed. I just need to know like...how to brush it. She's not even my daughter, so I don't need to know all that detailed crap."



Finally, we ordered a book that had everything from how to wash and brush it to how to straighten it and put in extentions, and I had to talk the patron into ordering that, explaining that it was better to have too much information than not enough. Sheesh. Sometimes finding out what a patron wants is like pulling teeth.

156Jakeofalltrades Jan 21, 2008, 11:58pm I once asked a librarian "Do you have any books about Nirvana (in the Buddhist sense) for my school project?"



I ended up with a lot of books about a longish blond haired dude with a guitar (I was 13 at the time, and grew up in a relative innocence where I had not encountered rock music to the degree I do now) and I said "Who's this guy? He's not round and Asian like he's supposed to be"



At that point the pierced male librarian decided that he had gotten me the wrong book, and went back and handed me some book about World Religions that was helpful.



I asked him why he had given me the other book, and he smiled and said "You'll find that out when you're taller, and older, and when you find out that your parents haven't been giving you the "right" education"



Only when I was about 15 did I know what he meant.

157xxkarenlxx Jan 22, 2008, 1:17am I thought the exact same thing. And to save my life I can't think of another author who fits that description, though I know there must be hundreds.

158chriscarroll Jan 22, 2008, 8:20pm I had a student (college) who asked me a couple of weeks ago if The Wizard of OZ was fiction or non-fiction.



Times like that make me think of Ferris Bueller's Day off when they go to the French restaurant and the maitre d' says, "I weep for the future."





159sadiegrrrl Jan 22, 2008, 10:15pm >156 Jakeofalltrades:



that is such a great story! that is such a great story!

160foggidawn Edited: Jan 24, 2008, 11:15am



Fortunately, it only took my brain a second to make the connection: "Could you mean I had a patron ask me for "The Waterford Elephants" yesterday. :-)Fortunately, it only took my brain a second to make the connection: "Could you mean Water for Elephants ?"

161FionaCat Jan 24, 2008, 3:38pm Yet another variation on TKAM ... a student said he was sent get the book Kill a Mockingbird. Why do teenagers have such a problem with this title??

162mzonderm Jan 24, 2008, 7:00pm We had a patron come in the other day wanting book by Scarlett O'Hara. It only took us a moment of biting our tongue on the question "How could fictional character write a book?" to confirm that she actually meant Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell.

163jjwilson61 Jan 24, 2008, 7:07pm I'm sure there are many a fictional character who have written a fictional book which you might find in a fictional library.

165Lavinient Feb 5, 2008, 1:49pm I just got asked by a patron for "The Kite Walker". He was actually looking for The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini

166differentbeat Feb 5, 2008, 7:35pm Today, a patron came in and asked me for "the book about free will." I searched for books on free will (i.e. versus predestination), explaining that I wasn't sure PRECISELY which book she was looking for but that I was sure we had a section with some information. I found the section, walked her back, and she went...but there are no forms in these...



After much confusion, it turns out she wanted books with free forms so she could write her own will. -.- Oops.

167differentbeat Feb 5, 2008, 7:35pm #165: Ha, actually, that would have made me smile. :) Kind of a cute accident.

168kmoellering Feb 6, 2008, 2:05pm Yesterday I had a patron ask for a phone number for both "the hotmail" and "the myspace" she then asked me if i could look up her email address in our catalog (??????!!!!!!!)

k

169differentbeat Feb 6, 2008, 5:54pm #168> HAHAHA. That's great. I love when patrons think that we have all their passwords on file too. Like they create an email account, and they forget the password, then wonder if we can look it up in our database for them.



This also reminded me of a patron I had once who asked if we had a book with a list of all the websites in it.

170QueenOfDenmark Edited: Feb 6, 2008, 7:33pm



She said that since you were in the UK perhaps he was looking for the words to the Yorkshire song/poem "On Ilkly Moor Bah Tat" and got the whole thing completely muddled up.



I love this thread and although I don't work in a library you have reminded me of the time our reading group (which met in the public library) did

#68 - I was telling my Mum about this thread and the man who asked you for a book about how to milk a bat.She said that since you were in the UK perhaps he was looking for the words to the Yorkshire song/poem "On Ilkly Moor Bah Tat" and got the whole thing completely muddled up.I love this thread and although I don't work in a library you have reminded me of the time our reading group (which met in the public library) did Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil . The local paper used to print the date and time and what book we would read and it appeared as "Nighttime with the Good, the Bad and the Ugly."

171kaelirenee Feb 6, 2008, 7:10pm



Yeah, that makes a difference. Today at the reference desk, I was asked for books on "novelist pilots" and the first time they flew. After racking my brain for a few minutes, I remembered that Roald Dahl was a pilot, so I found his memoir Over to You . I asked if there were any other authors he had in mind. He asked if I was sure Dahl was a novelist and I said that, yes, he was-he's one of my favorite novelists in fact. He gave me an odd look. His professor came over to see how the search was going and I told him I knew of one novelist who flew and how many the student would need for his paper. The prof looked at the student (an older gentleman, I'd like to point out) and said "Novice pilot. Not novelist. Novice."Yeah, that makes a difference.

172MarianV Feb 6, 2008, 8:13pm On Saturdays I (not a library school graduate) worked the reference desk. One summer morning a couple came in, very agitated. The woman, an older lady, very well dressed said "My husband & I have been having this argument about the Empress Theodosia & we just can't agree." and her husband (also very well dressed) looked at her & sneered"She just doesn't know what she is talking about." So I reached for an encyclopedia & we found the Empress Theodosia, an early Byzantine empress & I was able to find a history of the Byzantine empire & they were so happy.

As they thanked me it occurred to me that in all our years of marriage, my husband & I had argued about just about anything you can imagine, but NEVER had we ever had an argument about the Empress Theodosia.



A later note, I became curious about the Byzantine lady & a co-worker & I looked her up & found that she had been against the doctrine of reincarnation in the early Christian Church. Actually, there is some disagreement about this, so perhaps the couple's argument was not so unusual.

173riaanw Feb 7, 2008, 5:00pm I was standing next to a colleague at the check-in desk at the library in Pretoria, South Africa, where I used to work, and a regular patron was returning some books.



This lady had clearly been in a terrible car accident or such, as she had scars down one side of her face and could not hear very well -- and she only had one eye.



So, after checking in her books, my colleague saw there was one book still outstanding. "What is it called?" asked the patron.



The book was in Afrikaans, a novel titled Die Nag Het Net Een Oog -- meaning The Night Only Has One Eye.



Without breaking her stride, my colleague said we can't see the titles of outstanding books on the computer!

174scithighs Feb 7, 2008, 7:16pm My favorite library story is a guy came into our library with a rock and demanded that the librarian tell him what kind of rock it was. After some questioning he was under the impression that since we had a geneology department we knew about rocks.





175Nycticebus Feb 11, 2008, 6:12pm Oh dear, if we start on genealogy seekers, we'll never stop! We have only a small number in our library, as there are preferable libraries nearby, but sometimes the newbies come in. Last year a woman came to the desk with a book that cited some personal correspondence wanting to know if we could request it by Interlibrary Loan. I explained that even if the papers were in an archive, unique items like that were almost never circulated. She said "oh, I'm sure there's nothing unique, it's just letters."

176chriscarroll Feb 12, 2008, 8:36pm Today, I had a student come in ask me where she could find Sir Gawain and the Green Mile.



I wanted to ask her if that was the one where King Arthur was jailed for killing the two little girls and Morgan le Fay stepped on his pet mouse.

177ShannonMDE Feb 19, 2008, 9:47pm I had a student at the college where I worked bring in a leaf off of a tree on our campus wanting to know what kind of tree it was because the leaf sort of looked like a pot leaf. Since I already had a good idea it was a maple, I was able to look it up online at a local botanical gardens database and find that it was a Japanese maple.

178stupidquestion Feb 25, 2008, 3:27am I love these. My favorite at my library so far...



A guy went looking for a picture he remembered from his youth in the local paper. Unfortunately, the local paper didn't save their originals and were only able to provide the black and white copy that was published in the paper. He then came to the library and asked my colleague if we had a color copier so that he could get it with the 'color back in it'.

179QueenOfDenmark Feb 25, 2008, 11:45am #178 - that's great. I once had someone ask if they could use the fax in our office but wanted to copy the documents first because they thought the fax actually *sent* what was put through it physically rather than digitally and they wanted the originals back.



Also someone shredded a document they then wanted back and thought that the fax machine somehow would be able to produce this. They were very surpised that it couldn't, "not even if we post all the shreds in the top?"



180weener Feb 25, 2008, 11:53am These last few remind me of one I got over the phone: someone called to ask if we had public e-mail addresses that that things could be sent to, so if someone didn't have an e-mail address but needed to receive something through e-mail, they could get it sent to this address and pick it up at the library.



As if any ol' schlub couldn't get an e-mail address for free in two minutes...

181Liberryladie Feb 25, 2008, 9:24pm Someone once asked me if we had a series of books in the children's section called Frank the Sheep Cow. I said, "Are you sure you don't mean Hank the Cowdog?"



"No. I'm positive it's Frank the Sheep Cow."



"Do you mind if I take you to the section and show you what I'm talking about?" I asked.



(He follows me, sighing loudly the entire time.) I point to the Hank books. It absolutely killed him to admit I was right.

182amysisson Feb 26, 2008, 10:57am ^#181 - too funny!



I also like your LT handle. It kills me when people call me a liberrian, but I like the way you embrace it! ;-)

183SusanJames Feb 28, 2008, 8:48pm I've worked in bookstores and libraries for years and my all time favorite mangled title is "Bury the Head that Wounded Me" (for, yes, "Bury My Heart at Wounded Knee.")

184sheilahatler Feb 28, 2008, 10:46pm I work with Interlibrary Loans. One of our patrons wanted a book we didn't own, he told the librarian he wanted one of those Interplanetary Loan things.

185mfred333 Feb 29, 2008, 3:43pm In a similar vein to photos of the underground railroad and Banneker, I worked at the archives of a catholic university and we were once asked if we had any photographs of Jesus Christ.



186differentbeat Feb 29, 2008, 10:08pm 184> This had me chuckling intermittently all day at work. :')

187Steven_VI Mar 2, 2008, 5:17am I mostly work in back-office so I don't get the 'good stuff', but this is from a friend who worked in a book store.



Phone rings, she answers it - "Hi, um, I bought a book at your store about an hour ago" and he mentions the title. She's like "ok, I remember, is something wrong with the book?"



"No, the book is alright, but... um... would you like to go out with me?"



Nice try, but no luck :)

188QueenOfDenmark Mar 2, 2008, 9:44am #187 - That's lovely though. I wonder how many books that man had bought before he worked up the nerve to ask her out.

189SusanJames Mar 2, 2008, 2:16pm ooh, I just remembered another one. Back in the mid-90's a customer came into our bookstore and requested a book on the bestseller list. When I placed the book in her hands - a rather thick hardcover book - she gave it a puzzled look and then asked me "How long will it take me to read this?"

190ctlynn Mar 2, 2008, 4:38pm Teacher-librarian here, too. I'm in an elementary school, and pretty much every day I get a "do you remember that book my friend had last year?" sort of request!





191skf Mar 2, 2008, 4:53pm I'm glad most librarians don't work on Sundays so they can tell us how funny the rest of us look to them. It keeps us laughing and humble.



When I was in 1st grade I wanted to renew a library book. (Remember this was the dark ages when everything was done with 3x5 cards.) I forgot the book at home and asked my librarian if I could renew it anyway. When she found out I couldn't remember the author's name, she sort of scolded me about the things being kept under the author's last name, not the students. I can still picture where I was, a little blond with dimples too shy to say that I thought it would be under the book title.

192missdeeds Mar 5, 2008, 3:50am I'm retired now, so I don't know the current trends, but I have two favorites from my past:

Our children's department kept a list of misquoted titles. My favorite was "The Red Bag of Courage".



One of our reference staff fielded a request for "books about dogs", which upon questioning turned into "how to breed dogs", which with further questioning transmuted into "books about them bitchin' fries dogs - I just think they're so cute." After the staffer mentally translated to "bichon frise", she duly led the woman to the titles she wanted, and then ran into the stairway to laugh. She couldn't go back to the desk for about 10 minutes. I've never known how she managed to keep a straight face through it all.





193acpl Mar 5, 2008, 4:38pm The first week my new library branch was open, we had a guy come up to the desk with three or four books all opened and stacked on top of each other. It was very busy, so he had to wait in line for a while, with 20 lbs. or so of books stacked up in his arms, waiting for someone to help him. When it was his turn, I asked how I could help him, and glaring at me he stated, "The word JUDGMENT is misspelled in ALL THESE BOOKS!"



File that one under C-R-A-Z-Y.

194brainstorm Mar 6, 2008, 5:30pm Actually both message 12 and message 131 got it right. In fact, "Oranges and Peaches" is from "Party Girl," put out in 1995. But a reference to this was in fact cited in a library and information science article. It wasn't Kulthau, however, it was Patricia Dewdney and Gillian Michell's "Oranges and peaches: understanding communication accidents in the reference interview," publish in RQ's summer 1996 issue (vol 35, number 4). The authors note that they recently saw the story on a library reference listserv.

195brainstorm Mar 6, 2008, 5:30pm This message has been deleted by its author.

196brainstorm Mar 6, 2008, 5:34pm This message has been deleted by its author.

197brainstorm Mar 6, 2008, 5:49pm This message has been deleted by its author.

198brainstorm Mar 6, 2008, 5:51pm Honest, I only posted message 194 ONCE! For some reason, it showed up a bunch of times...

199fleurdiabolique Mar 6, 2008, 7:44pm



http://shelfcheck.blogspot.com/2008/03/whew.html This didn't happen to me, but I thought it was pretty funny and wanted to share:

200HouseholdOpera Mar 6, 2008, 8:01pm sebnutamun 184 , I bet there's a whole science fiction novel to be written about Interplanetary Loan!

201librarychs Mar 6, 2008, 9:43pm When I first started as a high school librarian, one of my first was, "Do you have any drama books?" Using the skill I learned at library school, I said, "Do you mean a play?" "No, no," she said. "You know, like baby mama drama." Another favorite is when a student says, "I need a good book."

202kaelirenee Mar 7, 2008, 9:09am >199 fleurdiabolique: -Wow, that's bad. I've answered and helped with some dumb questions, but I do think I'd have to draw the line at the Hokey Pokey. I'd have hopped on YouTube and searched-failing that, I'd have told him to go to a skating rink. THey always do he hokey pokey there.

203FionaCat Mar 7, 2008, 10:19am #201 - Yes, I hate it when a student asks "What's a good book to read?" Half the time, when I counter with "What kinds of books do you like?" the answer is "I don't know." Very helpful ... not!

204timepiece Mar 7, 2008, 1:34pm > 203



Just tell them with a perky smile that "*all* the books we have are good to read!" Maybe they'll realize they need to narrow it down on their own.



If they don't, just hand them the nearest book.

205amysisson Mar 7, 2008, 2:44pm ^201, it can be a frustrating question, but not answering it with something that might encourage the kid to read may be missing a valuable opportunity. Depending on the kid's age, there are probably some books he/she will like no matter what other kinds of books he/she likes. The one that immediately jumps to mind is Holes by Louis Sachar, and I say that because I know people from ages 8 to 50 who have enjoyed it.

206QueenOfDenmark Mar 7, 2008, 2:54pm Holes is a great book, I'm about to start reading it to my nephew.

207kaelirenee Mar 7, 2008, 3:46pm Yeah, the "What's a good book?" one is always fun. I don't know if it's easier or harder to pick great books for the YA audience. For my patrons, I tend to ask them what their major is and pick a book based on that. But that doesn't really work with (most) fiction, just nonfiction. Push come to shove, I recommend Handmaid's Tale or Ender's Game

208chilover Mar 7, 2008, 9:32pm Granted I had a little more info to go on than color or size, but I had a little "Yes!" moment at the reference desk when someone said she had read a mystery about plants and couldn't remember the title or author. After making the catalog work for me, I came up with the author Ann Ripley and when I told the patron the name of the main character, she said yes. Amen, and as she was walking away to find her book, she turned back and said, "You're good." A transaction like that makes me count to ten a little more easily with our difficult patrons. And I did indulge myself enough between patrons to say to myself, "Damn, I am good."

209Josh_Hanagarne Mar 7, 2008, 10:33pm I'm the assistant manager at a branch in the Salt Lake City Public Library System. About two weeks ago, an elderly woman from Hungary (she told me later) came in, slapped her hands on my desk, and said, "Give me your nakedest romances."



I've been smiling ever since.

210megkrahl Mar 7, 2008, 10:36pm Good for her to have the courage to ask for such a thing! Most people would be too embarassed. I think I'll be smiling for a while, now.

211crystaldickerson Mar 8, 2008, 5:24am I worked in a used bookstore and one day a lady called and when I answered she asked if we had any printed music. We did get in music books and sheet music sometimes so I said yes. She said she was trying to find a song.She didn't know the name, or the lyrics, but it went like this..and she proceeded to sing la la la over the phone. I had handled some odd requests, but this one was so out there it must have stirred up the mischief in me. When she stopped I told her trutfuly, no I didn't know that one. Then I said, wait a minute, maybe my coworker does, and handed off the phone. I'm afraid that poor lady had to sing la la la for three of us, all of us trying not to let her hear us laughing. I know it was wrong but I couldn't stop myself.

212differentbeat Mar 8, 2008, 10:48am #208> You ARE good! I would have immediately guessed Susan Wittig Albert and been stuck after that. :)

213differentbeat Edited: Mar 8, 2008, 10:53am Regarding the "I need a good book" youths:



It IS really frustrating to have a kid like that come in, but I agree with amysisson that it can be missing a great opportunity not to try your best to help pair them with something they'll like. If I strike out when I ask them what kind of books they like, even more than handing them the closest book or handing them something that's generally popular among their age group, I'll ask them what they're interested in and go from there. Usually you can narrow it down to a genre that way (humor, mystery, horror, coming of age type things), then give books that are popular within that genre.



A kid might have a blank expression when you ask them what kind of books they read, but usually they'll at least have INTERESTS to work with. Though, admittedly, I've struck out with that question too sometimes. :/

214TomeAddict Mar 8, 2008, 6:46pm Some of my favorite questions came years ago when I worked at the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences library (then the Margaret Herrick Library, today they call it the Fairbanks Center). When working the phone reference desk you'd some oddball questions. Here are a couple:



1. A man wanted to find a certain western film. No, he didn't know the title, the director, the actors, the studio, or the year. He couldn't even come up with a description of the star or a plot description. I tried several films, but none rang a bell with him. He did offer the fact that it was in B&W. Unfortunately the majority of westerns made were in B&W. He then stated it had a desert scene. Unfortunately, a majority of westerns have some sort of desert scene. With a triumphant voice he stated that he remembered that there was a scene when the cowboy raced on his horse from right to left across the screen...in the desert. Unfortunately....so do thousands of western films. He ended the call by round cursing me--with the "f" word featured prominently--before hanging up on me.



2. What year was "Porky and Bess" released? I couldn't resist! I replied "It was rele- rele- released in 1959!"

215Nycticebus Mar 8, 2008, 6:49pm



Thanks, brainstorm! That's the citation I remember now. I suppose the original source is now lost in urban legend land.



Not really a reference request: Recently I was visiting a friend's house in Japan, and the 10-year-old daughter proudly brought out the library copy of Sometimes I think people (and not just kids, in my experience) ask that "good book" question because someone has been telling them "quit reading that junk! go to the library and get a good book!". So they think we're this place for "good books" which are by definition not what they usually read. Then there are the goody-goods who think librarians will be happy to know they only want a "good book." I usually try to get both kinds to translate their request into something like a genre to start with. Usually, I start with "mmm, a good book, yeah, that's the best kind. Now for me, a good book would be something that had a love story in it, and maybe a foreign country - what about you?" Usually they can come up with something I can translate into a genre even if they don't have the concept of genre worked out themselves. At that point can be anything from Black Beauty to Manga. >194 brainstorm: Thanks, brainstorm! That's the citation I remember now. I suppose the original source is now lost in urban legend land.Not really a reference request: Recently I was visiting a friend's house in Japan, and the 10-year-old daughter proudly brought out the library copy of Momo (translated into Japanese) that she is currently reading. I said how much I'd loved that book too. The mother said in surprise, oh, it's in English too? Yes, I explained, many books do get translated into English. Then I had to explain that the name Momo has nothing to do with peaches in the original German (momo means peach in Japanese).

216weener Mar 8, 2008, 8:59pm I had a reference question on the phone a few weeks ago from a patron who was extremely shy, and her question was "What is the breed of dog that is whitish and looks like it has dreadlocks?"



Serendipitiously, she got the one person in the building that knows all the dog breeds off the top of her head (that's me!) and I was able to answer "That's the Komondor!" without a second thought.



I hope I didn't give her the idea that the library will always know the answer to every question immediately and with only a vague description.

217kaelirenee Mar 9, 2008, 1:56pm >216 weener: You mean we don't? :D Kidding, obviously. Most of the students here assume that I majored in English or History and therefore took all the classes they're taking now. Nope-I was a bio major and took the bare minimum of English and History. The only way I know what they're talking about is 1)someone just asked me about it or 2) I take an interest in it on my own.

218lynnlib Mar 10, 2008, 3:22pm A patron recently requested a book about blood types. You see, his had changed from A to O and he would like to find out why--he thinks it's probably due to eating too much red meat. ;)

219QueenOfDenmark Mar 10, 2008, 4:04pm He might be right. There was something in the news recently about a transplant patient changing bloodtype and it wasn't even April Fools Day or in one of the Elvis Drives a Taxi Cab on Mars newspapers ;-)

220marvas Mar 10, 2008, 6:25pm Just today a customer asked me, very politely and friendly, what the connection is between cannabis and he black magic that is being aimed at him. He had to repeat his question a couple of times because I didn't understand him, he was speaking german, I thought he wanted to buy cannabis, he was appalled at the suggestion. Finally I told him I didn't know, he said 'sorry' and left.

221lynnlib Mar 10, 2008, 7:41pm Jody, I could have given him the benefit of the doubt if I hadn't been on the receiving end of his many theories--the latest being that it is women in the military that started the war in the Middle East.

222QueenOfDenmark Mar 10, 2008, 7:49pm oh, he's one of those...that changes everything then. When we all know it was Elvis in his taxi that started it.

223mstores Mar 11, 2008, 5:19am So we are staffing our on-line real-time Enquire Service for the first time and we're waiting for a question to stretch us so we can show our worth...



Here's the first question:



Patron: Do you you know how to get red paint out of a carpet? Our Landlord's coming round in an hour!

224weener Mar 11, 2008, 5:23am Answer: cover up the paint spot with a few cups of human blood!

225defaults Mar 11, 2008, 6:19am Paint the rest of the carpet to match!

226skf Mar 11, 2008, 3:22pm Place a piece of furniture over it.

227kqueue Mar 12, 2008, 9:44am Ewww! Ick! We had a patron (and not the cleanest looking patron either) who wanted a home remedy for scabies. Sometimes I think we need a decontamination room here.

228kaelirenee Mar 12, 2008, 10:46am At least doctors get to wear gloves when dealing with their patients! Yikes.

229weener Mar 12, 2008, 5:24pm

All I could say was "Take her to the doctor, take her to the doctor!"

227 - Ha! I got a caller who described a child who lived nearby who looked like he had bugs under his skin, and asked me if I thought it was scabies. She called again a couple weeks later and described the same thing only this time it was an elderly person she was caring for, and again, asked me to diagnose, sight unseen, over the phone, if it was scabies.All I could say was "Take her to the doctor, take her to the doctor!"

230TomeAddict Mar 12, 2008, 11:44pm I had a home-school mother request some biographies for her children to read, and ask what kind we had available. As I showed her the biography aisle, I said "we have biographies on all sorts of people: explorers, inventors, doctors, politicians, artists, composers..." --and here I happened to pull out one on Tchaikovsky.



She drew back in horror and said "Oh, no, I wouldn't let them read about Tchaikovsky--he was a flaming homosexual!" I tried to explain the bios for kids very seldom even mention sexual matters of any kind, but she was adamant.



Then her son came trotting up and proudly announced that he'd just finished reading a biography of Alexander the Great!



I remember thinking "should I say something? No, better not...." But it was hard to keep a straight face.

231ampl Mar 25, 2008, 12:30pm I was asked if we had the book "My Neck Hurts." I knew right away she wanted "I Feel Bad About My Neck" by Nora Ephron.

232Nycticebus Mar 25, 2008, 8:52pm My colleague just sent an email around about a virtual reference interaction she had where the person began "are you boy, girl or robot?" I find it strange that someone could think their reference question could be answered by robot, but there you are.



On being assured that the corresponding person was indeed a human librarian, the patron wrote "you type cute."



well, that's a new form of come-on!

233shmjay Mar 26, 2008, 9:43pm The colleague should have said "robot, beep-beep".

234kicking_k Mar 27, 2008, 4:25pm :)



As an archivist, I'm smiling about the lady who wanted to borrow letters by interlibrary loan on the grounds that they weren't unique... Mind you, I have worked at business archives from which you can borrow stuff - if you work for the company and can demonstrate a need for it. It makes me a little uncomfortable, though.



There was also the man who came into the National Archives of Scotland when I worked there and wanted to see his family tree.



I gave him the usual information about how to get started on the research, but he found this very disappointing. He "kind of thought you would have, like, a chart I could look at."

235kqueue Mar 30, 2008, 7:09am Yesterday a lady said she'd been looking for a book for a half an hour and couldn't find it. She hands over a piece of paper with "Count of Monte Crisco" printed on it. I heard it's a rather slippery tale and that it used to be longer until the author shortened it. (ba-dum-bum).

237kaelirenee Mar 30, 2008, 2:46pm Hey, at least she didn't ask for a book by "Dumbass"-apparently, some folks really think there are Frenchmen running around not knowing that their family name is so funny when said. That's happened to me, and my patrons ought to know better-you'd think by the time they get to college, they know who Dumas is (well, are-father and son...)and how to pronouce their name.

238timepiece Mar 31, 2008, 11:23am Here's one from today's Metropolitan Diary column in the NYT:



Scene: The Strand Bookstore’s information desk (downtown annex)



Querying customer to gray-bearded clerk: “Do you have ‘Lust for Life?’ ”



Clerk: “I used to. But now I’m mostly tired and run down. But to answer your question, we do not have the book ‘Lust for Life.’ ”



Customer (laughing): “Do you sit there all day waiting for customers to feed you titles for great one-liners?”



Clerk: “Yes, basically.”

239librorumamans Edited: Apr 2, 2008, 6:17pm Andy, a colleague at the high school where I was a librarian, was returning the newspaper to the desk when he paused. "Bob," he started. My name turned out to be the only entirely accurate thing he was going to say. "You watch movies. Perhaps you can help me.



"We were watching some classic the other night, but I can't remember the title. It's a novel, and there's a woman in it named Mrs. D or something."



Oh, easy lob, I thought to myself, and offered, "Rebecca?"



"Nooooo," a drawn out, doubtful monosyllable that dropped half an octave in the middle before returning, finally, to the tonic. Then, helpfully, "There's a boy in it."



Not Mrs. Danvers, then. And a boy? Ah, not a boy but Boy, and perhaps Mrs. Dempster.



"Fifth Business?" I was grasping here. I know it hasn't been filmed, but perhaps he'd actually seen an interview or a documentary. With Andy, you could never be certain.



That one went out of the court. Advantage to Andy. He served again.



"There's a criminal in it. Like ... like ... Finnigan?"



Okay, forget about Mrs. D. There's a kid and a crook, initial F. Ummmm, how about ...



"Oliver Twist," I volleyed. This after some deep thought.



"No." Clearly he'd encountered that in one of its various manifestations. He returned with, "She doesn't marry. The wo