The much-hyped main event for tonight’s SummerSlam has been “indefinitely postponed” after Brock Lesnar called WWE’s human resources department complaining of “a scratchy throat and a major case of the sniffles.”

Lesnar, the reigning and “defending” Universal Champion, said he “might be contagious would hate to anyone else sick,” so he will stay home, get some rest, and “hopefully be back to 100 percent by Hell in a Cell.”

According to a lesser-known clause of WWE’s Wellness Policy, superstars are expected to obtain a doctor’s note if they will miss a major event due to illness. Lesnar faxed a note to WWE headquarters this morning, which attested to Lesnar’s “overall achy feeling and mild cough,” and was signed by a Dr. M. Shelby.

Lesnar’s scheduled opponent, Roman Reigns, voiced skepticism over Lesnar’s claims of illness, referring to Lesnar as a “bitch,” and then rambling for several minutes about dogs and yards.

A new opponent for Reigns has not yet been announced, but a poll on WWE.com shows that fans overwhelmingly voted for “nobody.”

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