AN: Three months is a long time to fill up. A long time. So this interlude covers about two, maybe two and half. It's actually in the game, it's stated in the briefing for the ninth mission that it occurs three months after the Battle of Demeter. These briefings are sadly no longer in the game, but are still available on youtube for the curious. So, three months, long time, things change; enjoy your update.

NB: The combat part of this story was written immediately after, and should be up a few minutes after this chapter, and hopefully rounds things out nicely for me to bring in the epilogue at a later date. So yeah, I'll take a short break from this one to recover—15,000 words in a week is a lot to write.

It was strange, being a backup. A week had passed, but every now and then Anna would inspect part of herself, because even knowing it was her body, it still felt different. Her fingers, for example, not overly long, but thin. Not fragile. Dextrous. Warm. And currently finding comfort in being twined with Elsa's. There was another strangeness, knowing that there were shared memories between them—but that she didn't have them. It would not be fair to call it a week of surprises, because most of the changes were actually quite subtle. It was more a week of strangeness, adjustment; slowly fitting back into the place she knew she belonged.

Being here, with Elsa, was only one of those places. The cockpit of a Titan was another. And on foot carrying a heavy weapon. She'd checked herself out in the sims, making sure her combat instincts were still honed and ready. That wasn't a problem. It was understanding the slight changes in other people's reactions, learning why things were different now. Of course, one of the biggest differences was that MacAllan was dead. He was dead, but his frontier spirit lived on, his final words galvanizing the Frontier's inhabitants.

MacAllan's final address had been short because he didn't mince words. He made his point, and then got on with the job. He lived free, and had enabled the rest of the Frontier to make a grab at that selfsame freedom. Anna sighed, wondering if perhaps MacAllan lived on in some paradisaical afterlife. If such a thing existed, of course. And then she wondered about her past life, about the Anna that had lived those three missing days—if there was an afterlife, what would have become of her? They shared the same past, literally every experience up until the time her backup had been stored. So what made the difference?

"You okay, Corazon?" Elsa asked, putting a delicate stress on the name. It used to be distant, almost insulting. The way Elsa used it now was anything but.

"Still adjusting," Anna stalled, looking at her free hand.

She had memories of being restored from a backup. A handful of such memories. Any Pilot with a respectable length of service had them. It was inevitable. But she still had to wonder what happened to the other versions of her. Had to wonder what kind of person she might have become. And wonder too about the fact a slightly dated consciousness took residence within the same body. The problem was no one knew. So many questions that could never be answered. And what might have become of it, she knew, was chaos theory gone mad. She felt Elsa squeeze her hand.

"Is it about MacAllan?" Elsa asked at length.

"No," Anna shook her head. "It's about me. Us."

Elsa laughed. "I didn't do a very good job telling that story, did I?"

"No, you did alright," and Anna leaned into Elsa's shoulder, resting her head there as well. "But I just… well… I'm a backup."

"So?"

Anna thumped the blonde on the chest then, friend or no. This was serious. And if anyone was going to make light of it it should have been her. "I still feel a little like I'm not the original; not the real Annalise Corazon."

"Trust me, if I'd met you two weeks ago I wouldn't have been able to tell the difference."

"That's just it—two weeks ago is technically my birthday, or save day, or whatever. I wasn't any different. Until after Demeter. I don't think you noticed how differently you started treating me in those three da—"

"I noticed." Elsa's voice was firm. "I made that choice. To treat you better. You were there for me. I didn't realize how much that actually meant until you weren't."

Anna leaned over to hug Elsa, and was surprised when the blonde didn't try to pull away. Instead, she returned the embrace with as much warmth as she could manage. It felt wrong. Right—in so many ways—but wrong, because it wasn't how Elsa acted. Not the cold and distant young woman she remembered at any rate. And that was something more than slightly unsettling, which was bad, because she didn't just like Elsa, and the way she was looking at her now, fear and concern mixed with a hint of anger and disappointment… it was too much. Anna turned away, and she felt a hand against her jaw, fingers brushing her cheek, gently turning her head so she actually had to look at Elsa.

"Anna, just tell me, please."

"Everything is just… unsettling," Anna wasn't sure of the word choice, but it would have to do. "A week isn't a long time for things to change—but those three missing days, then the four days of you and Kristoff trying to find my backup—things did change, and I can't see why. It's the little things that are the weirdest. Like Kristoff calls you 'iceheart', and you laugh it off. Or the EC is too damn cold. Or the disconnect in my mental preparations—we were going to strike at the airbase, and now we've already done it and basically won the war and I've only just woken up. But by far the weirdest thing is that you hug me back."

Elsa wore a wry smile. "Out of everything that could be wrong for you, you pick the fact I hug you back?"

"Well, just over a week ago—to me—you'd run off without any explanation and I thought you were gone from my life. Maybe even opting to join another combat team. I know, I know, you told me the whole story, but that's just the thing. To me it is a story. I didn't live it. Didn't feel it. It's less than a second hand experience, so I don't know it—and I really wish I did. I wish I knew it by heart, so it didn't feel strange when you hugged me. I don't like that feeling of right wrongness or wrong rightness or whatever it is. I just want to be happy when I hug you. Happy and safe and warm. I want you to feel the same."

And suddenly Elsa had her pinned to the mattress, arms wrapped around her back. And she was squeezing just a little too tight, so Anna had to fight to catch her breath. Elsa smiled knowingly and Anna knew then that it had been deliberate. Elsa loosened her grip, resting her forehead against Anna's, breath catching slightly. From the subtle smile Elsa certainly looked happy; from the way she was so close, she obviously felt safe; and from their proximity Anna could feel the warmth radiating from every inch of her. It still felt a little wrong, but she pushed it aside, struggling only slightly, enjoying the way Elsa lay against her.

"I thought maybe I should practice hugging you until it felt completely natural," she had a sly grin. "For both of us. Because having a friend is kind of new to me too."

"I'm glad you made that choice, even if it wasn't for me."

"It was for you," Elsa rolled sideways and punched her in the arm. It felt something like getting a medal. "But if you say it while we're out I'll deny everything." And the shifty eyes completed the joke.

Anna laughed, finally at ease, feeling she could try and hug Elsa again. So she did, pinning the blonde to the mattress, grinning as if she'd just brought down a mighty beast. Elsa simply smiled up at her, a satisfied look on her face. That look vanished when Anna kissed her on the cheek. In fact, Elsa had relaxed completely, her breathing carefully controlled. Anna smiled deviously, brushing her lips against Elsa's.

"Did that feel natural to you too?" Anna asked cheekily. Elsa shook her head. "Then maybe we should keep practicing."

At which point Elsa turfed her onto the floor, laughing.

"So I guess that's a no to that then?"

"Anna, I just… I'd rather be friends first. We can figure out everything else later."

"You won't push me away?"

"No, just off the bed—so I'd advise you not to try anything too adventurous while I'm in my bunk."

Elsa staggered to the showers in the gym, Anna following her. She rubbed her side, mentally questioning the wisdom of sparring against her fellow Pilot. Where did Corazon learn to fight like that? They'd been sparring both for exercise and to resolve a minor argument. It turned out that Anna really was the stronger of them, even if Elsa was faster and more graceful. They were both going to have a few bruises in the morning, but Elsa didn't mind. Not this time. It wasn't like hand to hand practice with the IMC. Or at least not the way she and Laski had fought. This was actually fun—but still, if Anna hit you, you stayed flattened. Problem was, Elsa was too stubborn to accept that, much to the redhead's delight.

Wincing slightly, Elsa stripped off her gym clothes, setting them down on the bench in a tidy pile. Behind her she heard Anna throwing her own clothes into a heap. She turned, catching an eyeful of the redhead's backside—wiggling provocatively as she walked to the showers. Elsa shook her head, facepalming. Do you have to be so blatant about it? She mentally asked her companion. Where's the seduction; the romance. Shouldn't you at least try to intrigue me?

Elsa could hear the hiss of the shower, and as she walked through she could quite clearly see Anna lathering herself up. All of Anna, in fact. The redhead was not shy. About anything, it seemed. On the other hand, her eyes were closed, and she was humming something slightly off key. There were several broad, red marks where heavy blows had landed, and Elsa was sure she could see one already beginning to bruise. She felt bad about that, but also knew she'd taken a few good ones herself.

Turning on the shower she teased her braid out, untangling her hair. Under the pounding stream of hot water she blinked as steam began to swirl around her. The warmth was glorious, but it was a little too much against the battered parts of her body, so she was forced to turn it down slightly, reaching for the soap at the same time. She heard wet footsteps behind her, not trying to be at all stealthy. The openness was reassuring, so she didn't start too badly when a slippery hand wound its way around her arm. Another hand teased at her unbound hair, and something quite soft pressed into her upper back. Right before both arms wrapped around her, pinning her arms in place, and a chin rested on her shoulder.

There were probably supposed to be some words, but all she heard was Anna spluttering as she swallowed some soapy water. It didn't take too much effort to free her hands as Anna continued to splutter, and Elsa gently pushed her from the shower. It was not that she didn't appreciate the attention—it had been a long time, after all—but her words from the other day still stood. She would rather just be friends first. They could work out everything else later. She turned to face the redhead, her voice firm.

"No."

"I didn't even get to second base," and Anna wore a frustrated expression. "It's been a long time since I got even this close."

"You think it hasn't been a long time for me?" Elsa asked, turning away from the redhead. "I told you, friends first."

"But we are friends Elsa."

"I know, and I'm thankful for that, Anna, but…"

"But what?" Anna's tone had turned accusatory. "Why do you keep pushing me away?"

"I'm not pushing you away, I'm—"

"It certainly feels that way."

"I'm just—"

"Just what; what, Elsa?"

"I'm not ready!" Elsa shouted at the wall, her voice echoing in the showers. It was suddenly very quiet, the only sound the rush of water from the shower. From behind her came a sharp intake of breath, and a very small 'oh' of surprise. Elsa closed her eyes, running her fingers through her hair. And now she'd managed to mess up again. She still had a chance though.

"I suggest you find a different cabin then."

Elsa turned, shocked. She saw a slight blush on Anna's cheeks, but no anger in her eyes.

"For the next couple of hours, at least."

Anna wore a devious smile, which only deepened Elsa's confusion.

"Because if you walk through that hatch, I cannot be held responsible for what happens to you."

And then Anna locked eyes with her, taking in everything with a sly wink and a ravishing gaze, and finally Elsa understood, starting to blush. Because apparently Anna didn't handle that kind of frustration very well, or not for that long, at least. She heard wet footsteps retreating to the lockers. Maybe it was time to explore the ship further, perhaps even take an interest in the engineering areas, much like Anna did. It also helped that those were about as far from their quarters as it was possible to get on the ship.

Sighing, Elsa lathered up her hands, spreading the soap all over her body. And again. And then just rinsing her hair, because a gym shower was not a good place for her normal hair washing ritual. She turned the shower off and wrapped a towel around her middle, walking back out to the lockers. Anna stood in the doorway between the two areas wearing a sultry grin and an artfully draped towel. Elsa crossed her arms and put on a long-suffering expression. This was better on Anna's part, but still…

"Still no."

"Can I at least tou—"

"No."

"What about a—"

"No."

"—kiss."

"Oh…" Elsa wore a chagrined smile. A kiss wasn't too much. Well, maybe too much for just friends, but she was willing to let Anna have that. Plus, Anna tasted nice. Something about strawberry lip balm. So she stepped dangerously close to Anna, cupping her head in one hand and wrapping the other around her waist. Oh yes, she definitely tasted of strawberries, and smelled of soap, but that wasn't really important. Their lips parted, and the redhead let out a panting breath.

"If you do that to me again, you will not be getting away." The way Anna spoke was somewhere between tantalizingly chilling and erotically challenging. But Elsa wasn't about to push her luck.

"Then maybe I should wait until you're done."

"I think you'll need to give me an extra hour."

"Just the one?" Elsa blushed as she teased the redhead before her. Before she could protest Anna had drawn her into a quick kiss and playfully spanked her.

"Don't come back 'til dinner."

Elsa just stared at her, eyebrows raised in silent question.

"Because I'll be asleep, and dream-you is much more fun to play with."

Elsa facepalmed, walking past the redhead to collect her clothes.

Anna fell from the sim pod, hair plastered to her face with sweat. She stumbled slightly and Elsa rushed to catch her. Almost a full month without combat operations, and it felt like she was slipping. Drop Team 4 had given them one hell of a hard fight. Hard, but satisfying. In the end Team 6 had won, but only just. Elsa hadn't been in the sim, having subbed out for a member of Strike Seven that she had covered for a few days prior. And real combat wasn't the only action Anna felt herself missing out on either.

Elsa still didn't want to—the desire was there, plain as day, Anna could tell, but the blonde was very guarded about the topic in general. Not really afraid, not really that shy, not so prudish, but somehow quite unsure of herself, or perhaps unsure of what sex would change between them. Anna had got close, a number of times, but Elsa had warned her off each time. She was honest about what she wanted, but unsure of when she wanted it. I wonder if she's one of those people that want their first time to be absolutely perfect? Anna smiled at the thought, knowing how imperfect such things generally were. She didn't say anything to Elsa, now guiding her to the showers outside the sim room.

When she was done getting the grime off herself, Anna found Elsa leaning against the wall opposite the main hatch to the sim's showers, reading something off a datapad. She was clearly scrolling through some kind of news feed.

"Third Merchant just took Outpost 210, near Freeport."

"How?"

"Hacked the base defense grid. Turrets were down and the ships could land Marines. They also shut down all the Spectres guarding critical areas. Speculation is rife in official channels about what could do that, but they don't know about the 'icepick'."

"Any other action we're missing?" Anna asked, starting to walk down the corridor, heading back to their quarters.

"Some interesting weapon mods are showing up on the black market now, at the arms bazaar someone decided to name Smuggler's Cove. Anyway, a lot of it looks like ex-IMC tech, and even more of it looks like combat prototypes. Things like automatic 40mm cannons, and deuce-and-a-half rocket salvos."

"Do you know how old fashioned that just made you sound?"

"It sounded better in my head," Elsa rolled her eyes, scrolling through another article. "Should I go put on something with frills and a hoop-skirt?"

"A what?"

"Never mind. Says here the Militia have been forced out of Yuma, and that a megacarrier has been forced to make emergency repairs on one of the outlying planets in Freeport. 'Heavy damage from naval artillery is indicated, proving that despite recent reports, the Militia fleet is not contained, and remains a significant threat'. I'm thinking it was driven out from 210 and harried by the third Merchant."

"Seems likely enough. Anything actually interesting in that feed?"

Elsa shrugged, flicking the datapad off. "No. Just more of the same. This war is nothing new to them. The only difference now is that the IMC can't bring in reinforcements, while we can."

"What about all those reports about robotic soldiers we keep seeing—you think someone's mass producing Spectres?"

"They'd have to be, just for guard duties and perimeter defense. And for the number we destroy in the average operation. Those replacements have to come from somewhere. Best case, shipping warehouse; worst case, robotics factory."

"So we blow up the factory. Or warehouse. Or whatever. Job done."

"It's not that simple. First we have to find the facility."

"And are we—I mean, the Militia, with Bish and Sarah in charge now, instead of MacAllan?"

"I did message Bish to ask about that. He didn't say anything back other than they were actually looking for a facility."

They continued on, just making small talk. Anna already knew Elsa wasn't so good at it, but it was nice to have someone to talk to. Someone that listened to her occasional rambling. Companionship—that was what it felt like with Elsa. Not just friends, or possible future lovers, but companions in all things. Companions with benefits—but that just sounded silly. Anna palmed the access panel for their hatch, stepping inside. Elsa stepped past her and swung herself up onto the upper bunk.

"Don't want to come down here and keep me company?" Anna asked, sprawling out on her bunk.

"You're trying to seduce me again." Anna nearly laughed. She hadn't actually been thinking about that, more that it would just be nice to have Elsa lie with her for a while.

"Maybe a little, yeah, but I really just thought we could lie here and snuggle together for a while. Nothing else."

"Really?" Elsa's head appeared upside down, hanging from the top bunk, her braid falling past her.

"Really. I just want to be close to you."

"You won't get hands-y again?"

"I mean, the temptation is right th—"—Anna caught the acid look Elsa was giving her—"I'll do my best."

"I guess that'll have to do," Elsa swung down from the top bunk, landing softly against the floor before climbing onto Anna's mattress.

Two weeks later and there was still no sign of any combat action. Wargames were continuously conducted to keep the Pilots sharp, but it wasn't the same. Elsa missed the freedom of battle, being able so easily to lose herself in the moment, to become one with war; a perfect blend of mobility and firepower given purpose. Even the sims felt stale now, and they were running out of plausible scenarios. Some Pilots, herself included, had taken to running through the training sequence in time trials, just to keep a competitive edge. But she was only thinking about stale sim runs and missing combat operations to distract herself from what lay before her.

That, of course, was Anna, wearing a deep green bra with lace edging, and matching panties. It was surprising she even had those, given her tenure on the ship. But Pilots were allowed eccentricities, and were still human, as far as it went, with human desires and human needs. Elsa was not immune to such needs either, and that was why she was also wearing only a bra and briefs, in ice blue—about all she could find that seemed to suit the occasion. She still wasn't sure of herself, of what would change, but Anna had told her nothing needed to change—and if they were going to be lovers, there was going to be a lot of sex, so they really should get good at it. And then Anna had kissed her with a fierce passion, accidentally smacking her head into the bulkhead behind the bunk, rather ruining the mood.

"You're totally overthinking this," Anna looked at her sternly, arms crossed beneath her breasts.

"I was just thinking maybe I should be on the bottom, so you don't use the wall to abuse me again."

"One time."

"Yeah, but it hurt—and you ruined the mood."

Anna just stuck her tongue out, and Elsa was very tempted just to kiss it and get a rise out of the redhead. Instead she lay beside the redhead, one hand resting against a well toned stomach, fingers moving somewhere between a soft caress and a sensuous tickle. She could feel Anna's muscles twitch as her hand wandered higher, tugging at the fabric of the redhead's bra, freeing just one breast to tease. Behind her own back she could feel slim, dextrous fingers unhooking her bra. Singlehandedly, in fact. It was actually kind of impressive. As was the way Anna used that same hand to pull them closer together.

All down her right side she could feel Anna, the warmth of her body and the softness of her skin—and the way the redhead's left leg wrapped around her right. She turned slightly, presenting her body to the redhead before wrapping her arms around her, locking their lips in a passionate kiss. She was a little taken aback when Anna gently nibbled on her lower lip. Anna took a moment to look her in the eyes, turquoise eyes searching for some sign of what to do. Elsa smiled but gently shook her head. Anna shrugged, pulling her back into the kiss.

And then she kissed her on the cheek. Jawbone. Neck. Throat. Collarbone. Elsa shivered, sensation tingling all over her body, a fire burning deep within her belly, and she could feel herself starting to get wet. Because those kisses were starting to go places. Exciting places. Then they trailed back down to her belly, finishing at her navel. She was suddenly very frustrated with Anna. She is fucking teasing me. Terribly. And the devious smile on the redhead's lips did not help matters.

"You want more?" Of course I do. Anna threw herself on her back against the mattress, inviting Elsa to make a move. "Earn it."

It couldn't be too hard, right? Even if it had been a long time, and she did feel a bit rusty. But Anna was new, and exciting, and very clearly waiting for her to make a move, her smile slowly fading. There was no plan. Elsa threw herself on top of the redhead, hands working the clasp at her back to undo Anna's lacy green bra. And then she was licking Anna's lips in a passionate kiss, their breasts pressing together as Elsa pulled the redhead closer. Anna found time to whisper in her ear between kisses.

"More."

Elsa let her hands roam, up and down Anna's sides, gently tickling her, leaving her breathless with another kiss. And another, and another, forcing the redhead down when she began to rise. She sat up, straddling Anna's waist, fingers trailing from the redhead's freckled shoulders to her breasts, leaning down to plant a kiss between them. Elsa blinked, because now Anna was on top of her, pinning her down, thighs against her waist, hands against her breasts. Somehow her own hands had managed to stay in contact with Anna's breasts, and she wondered if perhaps it had been planned that way.

Definitely planned. Elsa felt a hand sliding between her breasts and down her body, pressing firmly against her stomach. She could feel fingers slipping under the elastic of her briefs. Slowly getting closer to that one delicious moment she still wasn't sure she was ready for. She took Anna's wrist with both hands and held firm. The redhead gave her a disbelieving look, already seeming about to take off. Removing one hand, Elsa placed it against a freckled shoulder and looked Anna in the eye, holding her gaze as long as she possibly could.

"Not yet?" Elsa's voice sounded like a pathetic whimper—she had meant it to be innocent and questioning, but was more out of breath than she'd thought.

"Seriously?" Anna's disbelief gave way to a long-suffering look.

Elsa shifted, lying beside the redhead instead of beneath her. One of Anna's hands rested against the outside of her briefs. The other was playing with her left breast, even as Elsa pulled the redhead into a tight hug, resting her head against one freckled shoulder, smelling sweat and musk and cinnamon and something else uniquely Anna. Copper hair had been done up in braids, and now Elsa found herself worrying at those while Anna continued to play with her breasts. Something seemed to be slipping away, and with it her desire. She rested her head against Anna's, worrying at the redhead's braids again, trying to figure it out. It didn't take long for Anna to notice her distraction.

"Where are you going, iceheart?" She felt a sudden chill against her chest, and realized with a start that Anna was blowing against it.

"I–I'm not sure. Away, I think." Elsa blinked, but the moment had passed. It was as if the passion had just been frozen out of her, leaving her body cold and empty. She hated the feeling. She wasn't sure why it kept happening, but this was one of the reasons she hadn't let Anna go so far. It also wasn't something she felt comfortable talking about.

"It is so not fair to tease me like this."

"I'm sorry. I just…"

"No, no, don't apologize. I should know better by now. So should you, for that matter."

"I should know better?!" Elsa couldn't believe what she was hearing. She struggled to rise, but Anna was pinning her to the mattress. "Anna, let me go. Now."

"Not until you admit it."

"Admit what?"

"You have a problem."

"I do not have a problem!" But Anna relented, helping her up, handing her her bra that had been knocked to the floor. The redhead had a defeated look. Defeated and frustrated.

"If I didn't like you so much I'd just go and sleep with Kristoff again."

"Kristoff?" It took Elsa's mind a few moments to process the rest of the statement. "Wait, again?!"

"Before you were onboard," Anna tilted her head to the side, looking over her shoulder at Elsa. "We had a mutually beneficial arrangement."

"Friends with benefits."

"Call it what you want, but it worked for me. You… you're goddamn frustrating, and I know you want it, but at the same time you never want to go that far. It's like your afraid of it or something."

And that's a little too close to the truth. "No," Elsa lied. "I'm just not sure of myself. It's been a long time."

"It's okay to ask for help; to ask what I like—you don't have to try and figure it all out on your own." Anna threw herself down next to Elsa, one hand reaching out to touch Elsa's breasts. "And you have to stop lying to yourself. I don't know what's bothering you, but I want to. I want to help you. And is it alright if I just play with these a little longer—they're magnificent."

Elsa rolled her eyes, but didn't refuse. It was nice to be wanted. To be played with. Even if she couldn't go further. Even if Anna's hand was dipping into her green—seriously, Corazon, I'm right in front of you! Elsa removed the hand from her breasts, and stilled the one Anna had in her panties.

"Pick one."

Anna shrugged, hand returning to her panties. "If you stay you might learn something about what I like. Really, really like."

"I think the shower's loud enough to drown you out…"

"You'll have to make it a long one—and go easy on that soap. It's taken a beating these past weeks."

Elsa blushed. "You didn't have to tell me that."

"What, and miss tha—oooh, yes—that look on your face. Run along now, unless you'd rather watch…"

Elsa was torn, because, yes, she was goddamn frustrated, but at the same time Anna was her best friend, but also maybe a would-be lover, and someone who she wanted to share everything with, but they still had a right to keep some things secret, and that was supposed to be a good thing, but some secrets could be so damaging and—and if she didn't move right now she ran the risk of seeing far too much of Anna than she was prepared for. She closed her eyes, grabbed a kitbag, and slammed the bathroom hatch, only to realize she'd picked up Anna's clothes. To hell with it. She was not going back out there with that maniac—because she knew from the time she'd nearly walked in on Anna previously that the redhead was very strong, and quite possibly insane when so aroused. She turned the shower on and slammed it all the way to cold.

She fell to the floor under the icy water, hugging her knees to her chest. What the hell is wrong with me?

"You—uhhhh—okay in there?" Anna shouted through the partition, sounding somewhat distracted.

"Slipped!" Elsa shouted back. "I'm okay!"

Which was about as far from the truth as it was possible to get. Because Anna was right—she did have a problem. Intimacy issues. The closer they got the worse it felt. The more frustrated she left Anna the worse it felt. The more she pushed Anna away from trying to help her, the worse she felt. It was a horrible feedback loop, because Anna got closer, then got frustrated because Elsa couldn't reciprocate fully, and then she tried to help her, and Elsa was forcing her away yet again. Mostly physically. Elsa hiccoughed, teasing out her braid. She let the rushing water wash away her tears. The sounds coming from the other side of the partitioning bulkhead seemed a terrible counterpoint to her own morose feelings. Standing to wash the rest of her body, Elsa slipped against the soap-slick floor, falling with a heavy thud. She didn't bother getting up again. It just wasn't worth it.

"Oh, fuck it!" Elsa heard a loud thud coming from the main cabin, along with that very, very annoyed voice. Footsteps stomped their way to the bathroom partition. "You are so not okay."

Anna overrode the lock on the hatch, and roughly dragged Elsa up from where she lay curled into a ball. With her other hand she turned off the shower. "Up. Get dressed. We're seeing a medic about this. Right fucking now."

"I just slipped, Anna," Elsa protested, wrapping herself in a towel. Anna took said towel and began drying her off, paying careful attention to… everything, in fact, but especially her face. Then she used the towel to wipe some of the sweat from her own naked body, dragging a few items from the kitbag Elsa had hauled into the bathroom. T-shirt, briefs, and shorts. Elsa just stared at her.

"Put something on. Now!" And Elsa felt compelled to obey, pulling on a pair of briefs that were slightly too small, and a pair of jeans that had the same problem. "Hey, you actually look pretty cute in my jeans—and maybe I shouldn't have said that, but you really do, okay?" Anna rummaged in the bag, throwing a black ball of fabric at Elsa. "Tank top. Just pull it on and we'll go. Grab a jacket if you have to."

"I just slipped," Elsa protested. She wasn't worth this kind of attention. "I'm fine."

"No you are fucking not, Elizabeth Stroud, and I'm going to help you figure out why. Now come on, we've gotta get to the infirmary."

"I'm fi—"

"If you lie to me like that one more time, I will hit you." Anna raised her hand and Elsa instinctively shied back. Anna facepalmed, then placed her hand against Elsa's shoulder, giving it a squeeze. It felt like an injection of pure courage. "I know it's scary, so I won't leave you alone. Not ever. Okay?"

"You never did," and Elsa felt brave enough to take Anna's hand as they left their cabin.

Anna stretched and yawned, rolling over under the sheets. It was lonely without Elsa sharing her cabin. She waved the clock on, blinking tiredly at the time it displayed. 02:17. The fuck am I doing awake at this hour? Then she heard the second sharp knock against the hatch. Struggling out of bed, running a hand through her hair in a futile attempt to tame it, she staggered to the hatch and unlocked it, a small part of her wondering why Elsa hadn't used the keycode to get in.

Then she saw just how tired the blonde looked, bags under her eyes, hair disheveled, still wearing the same jeans and tank top—and jacket—from two days ago. Elsa inclined her head in a gesture to move out the door, and Anna held up a hand for time, muttering about pants, pulling on shorts and a shirt so she didn't wander the ship half naked. Then Elsa took her hand and started to pull her through the ship, down, deep below engineering and the Titan hangars.

Anna looked around, noting all the conduits and cabling covering the walls, the low ceiling, and the odd silence within the chamber. It was definitely a maintenance area, but Elsa had obviously led her here for a reason. Elsa sat on a low bench made out of supply crates and gestured to the far end of the space. It was a blank wall, black, until Elsa waved off the lights. There was a slight shimmer, and in the blackness Anna could see little points of white. Stars. She blinked. She's showing me the stars…

The shimmer faded, and colour began to bloom in the distance. Not much, not against the blackness of space, but it was there, a tenuous web of blue-green, resolving into a sweeping line well above their line of vision. The tail of a nebula. It wasn't huge or impressive, even against the infinite void. It was subtle, subdued, understated. Anna smiled, glad Elsa had shared this secret space with her. It didn't have the grandeur of the average observation deck, but that was the point. It was quiet, secluded. A place of secrets and unknowable truths.

Taking a seat next to Elsa, Anna extended her hand, hoping the blonde would take it. She did, giving it a gentle squeeze, taking a deep breath as if she was about to speak. Then she looked away, sighing, shaking her head. Anna placed her other hand on top of Elsa's.

"It's bad, huh?"

Elsa sighed again, sidling closer. She still hadn't said anything, and Anna was getting worried now. It felt like Elsa was shutting her out again. But she was also moving closer, as if she wanted something she couldn't ask for. Anna moved closer, leaning towards Elsa. The blonde didn't draw away, so Anna wrapped her arm around Elsa's shoulders and gave her a little squeeze, something warm and encouraging. She felt Elsa rest her head against her shoulder, staring out at the stars. She still didn't know what was wrong, but she got the sense that Elsa might be building up to tell her, so asking was beside the point. Encouragement, on the other hand, that would work.

"Twenty seconds of insane courage, that's all it takes."

She heard a sharp intake of breath, and Elsa suddenly broke away from the embrace. Anna turned, but that seemed to be exactly what Elsa wanted, arms hugging her sides.

"I have depression."

Then Elsa looked away, looking out at the stars, falling silent again, breath slow and shallow. That explains a few things, actually, Anna made a note to look up more about that later. But there was something she could do now. A simple question.

"How can I help?"

Elsa stood, starting to pace in front of the stars. "The doctor said you probably already had. He said this was probably a long time coming, and he's surprised the IMC medics didn't pick anything up."

"Maybe it's all the downtime?" Anna wondered aloud. "Did you ever get to rest in the IMC?"

Elsa stopped pacing, arms crossed, frowning. Her eyebrows rose slightly as she considered the question. Anna smiled, gesturing for the blonde to continue—to say something.

"Not really. We were always on deployment. Never more than a week of shore leave."

"So this is… what… everything finally coming down on you?"

Elsa sighed, hugging her arms. Anna stood, purposefully walking over to her, wrapping her in a tight hug from behind. The blonde said nothing, but turned enough that Anna could see the beginnings of a smile on her lips.

"So, would you like to sleep in your own bed for what's left of tonight?" Elsa nodded, allowing Anna to lead her by the hand back through the ship. "I'll remember this place if you ever want to be left alone, but also want me to find you."

"Thank you."

Depression was complicated. Anna was finding that out quickly. It wasn't the only problem Elsa had, but it was the only one she was willing to discuss with her—as they'd been doing for the past week. The problem for Pilots was that psychological issues really were all in the mind—altering the chemical balance within a body didn't help. Ripcord technology created a small but essential disconnect between mind and body. Software and hardware, so to speak. Something else Anna had been researching in the ship's archives. It was still better than the Link-Psychosis caused by overuse of a neural interface. Sometimes those Pilots forgot they were no longer in Titans, physically, but their minds told them otherwise. A lucky few had proven resilient to those effects; but the interface had been phased out—overtaken, really—by Ripcord technology.

Technology that allowed a mind to exist without a body; at least temporarily. Even reading all the literature, Anna still didn't really understand how it worked, just that it did. And that it made Pilots immortal. Functionally immortal, but not completely. That was why backups existed. Why she existed. She shook her head, turning the datapad off, sliding it down beside her bunk.

"You okay up there?"

"I guess," Elsa replied from the top bunk, voice flat. "I'm bored."

"We could try sparring again."

"That's… okay, yeah," Elsa landed in a graceful crouch on the deck. "If I'm gonna feel bad, may as well have a reason for it."

"No, you're gonna feel good, and do you know why?"

"Because you're going to go easy on me?"

Anna laughed. "Oh no. No I'm not." Because this was something Anna had discovered in her research. Activity was important, especially physical activity. Possibly why this problem had never presented itself while Elsa had been working for the IMC—she'd always been active. "It's gonna feel good because exercise always feels good. At least when you finish, y'know, runner's high and all that?"

"Sure." Elsa didn't sound at all convinced.

"Or maybe I'm doing it for me… so I get to see you in the showers again."

"Anna!"

"What… I read it was important to let you know that people care about you; that they want you; that they find you worthy."

Elsa didn't have a good reply for that one. Anna grabbed both their kitbags and headed for the door. Given the time the gym might be busy, but it would still be worthwhile to get Elsa out and active. Two hours later she found herself questioning that logic as she pressed her hand against several new bruises. Elsa had not held back. It was a good thing, really, seeing Elsa get so into the moment; get so close to happiness again. And of course she herself missed the rush of combat, the high it gave her, so it helped her too.

They showered without incident—though Anna did take the time to appreciate Elsa's body before hugging her in front of everyone. "Fuck what they think," she whispered in the blonde's ear. "If it makes you happy." Elsa hugged her back and they headed for the lockers, one or two whistles of appreciation following them.