Warner Bros.

"Harry Potter is a boy wizard who people want to kill and he's in love with a girl wizard but the red-headed boy wizard keeps cockblocking and Harry is like 'wtf bro.' So Harry goes through life fighting all these monsters and the whole time he's still trying to wife up the girl wizard."

"A boy with a magic scar on his head continually saves his kind without complaining or taking a nap."

"It's about this self-obsessed boy with a unique scar who's all like "omg woe is me, I'm so different and special and my family sucks" and then an owl tells him he's a wizard, which validates everything. Then he has to go to this wack boarding school where all the other kids are just as crazy so he can figure out his life. He's also always being chased with a guy who has no nose and Hermione is constantly friendzoning him. I don't think he ever figures his shit out."

"A teenager gets sent to a magic boarding school, gets a scar on his forehead, plays something called Quidditch, and that's the extent of what I've overheard."

"A story about a kid magician that somehow managed to become bigger than Star Wars with the young ones."

"A fairy tale about kids running around casting spells all day, fighting weird-looking creatures becoming wizards so they don't have to pay back tuition."

"Harry Potter is about a boy wizard who couldn't be killed by Voldemort and he must protect the magical world from Voldemort's ongoing evil."

"It's about a kid who ruins school for all his fellow students every damn year."

Correct answer: Harry Potter is about a boy who must overcome many obstacles to defeat the dark wizard named Lord Voldemort.