WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet | Contact

Following in the footsteps of the esteemed One Nation Party, David Warner has today publicly tried to blame something stupid he did on the grog.

A year on from the infamous ball tampering incident in Cape Town, the OLED enthusiast told media today that he was actually on the sauce for the entire 2018 South African Test series.

This comes after senior One Nation figures Steve Dickson and James Ashby tried to blame their attempts to pervert Australia’s democracy on ‘being on the sauce.’

In an act equally as damaging to the nation as an NRA funded campaign undermining the country’s lawmaking body, David Warner this afternoon asking the public to forgive him for his actions.

“I know I actively took part in the team culture that sought to viciously sledge opposition players for a long period of time, and I tried to pretend to fight Quinton De Cock fully aware that everyone would pull me back, and I was integral in the plot to take a bit of DIY material to the cricket ball,” David began.

“But I was actually on the sauce the whole time, so can we just get over it now?”

Warner then asked Roxy Jacenko, his publicist in the front row if he should say anything else.

She nodded and told him to try and cry for the cameras.

After a few minutes trying to cry David then walked off from the press conference.