when you are accused of being racist, transphobic, queerphobic, sexist, or any other kind of bigotry, ur immediate response should not be “im so offended that u would insult me in this way how dare you say that to me” your response should be “although im not used to hearing those words describe my behavior, i should look in to the way i’ve been acting and what i’ve been saying and try to change the problematic aspects of it” because by automatically being like “how DARE you i’m not racist/transphobic/sexist/etc!!!” you’re failing to acknowledge the fact that u have been raised in a deeply racist/transphobic/sexist/etc society and that u are not immune to this pervasive societal attitude. everyone who lives in this society is prone to bigoted thought and behavior, you are no exception, when someone calls you out on it be gracious and do what you can to change it.