Ash! The protagonist/human punching bag of Sam Raimi's original trilogy of Evil Dead movies, Bruce Campbell's Ash Williams ranks as one of our favorite movie characters ever. And while it's true that the chainsaw-wielding, time-trippiest employee of S-Mart is given to feats of heroism on occasion, he's more often prone to getting his ass kicked by Deadites, or being forced to cut his girlfriend's head off, and then getting his ass kicked by her Deadite body. He also gets hurt a lot, isn't too smart, and is really good at making sure everyone around him dies most of the time. That's why we love him!

Mr.

He's

Loved

So with the Evil Dead remake hitting this weekend, we've put together the following stroll down memory lane. Here's a quick rundown of Ash's no good, very bad life...Whether getting bookcases dropped on him multiple times per movie, hurtling through the woods at high speed while at the mercy of an unseen demonic force, or crashing through his car window, Ash has proven time and again that he deserves a gold medal in… falling down. He's just that good at it!Well, hello Mr. Fancy Pants! Yeah, we all know about how Ash cut his own hand off. It was a freaking farewell to arms! But let's not forget his particularly destructive encounter with those mini-Ashs in Army of Darkness either, where boiling water and impalement by fork also came in quite handy.Simple dinnerware also does the trick when self-mutilating.Generally speaking, friends, family and acquaintances of Ash wind up hideously deformed, possessed and, eventually, dead. Which sucks for them, but is also rather unpleasant for Ash too, who's typically already having a bad day before his loved ones start croaking left and right. And then it falls to him to bury them, decapitate and dismember their undead corpses after they rise from the grave, gouge their eyes out, shotgun them, and so on. This has included at least two Ash girlfriends and one Ash sister. Yes, Ash has (had) a sister.