Strollin’ around a brightly fluorescent lit grocery store, a spotlight shined down from the ceiling on something at the far end of an aisle. Feeling like one of the three Wise men following the north star during Biblical times, I made the journey towards the light. What was I going to find when I reached my destination? Treasures? Little Baby Jesus? Wrong, I kneeled down and picked up the LAST box of Little Debbie’s Christmas Tree Cakes. Hallelujah. Angels started singing…

I eat Debbies, I drink Shiner

at the same damn time

I was given the gift from a higher power of the last Little Debbie’s Christmas Tree Cakes of the season. With this gift, it deserves to be transformed and showcased. The Fried Xmas Tree ornaments is born.

For the Holiday beer batter you need:

1 – 12 oz Shiner Holiday Cheer

2 cups all-purpose flour

1/4 cup of sugar

1 tablespoon of salt

1 teaspoon of baking soda

1 teaspoon of ground cinnamon

1 teaspoon of vanilla extract

1 egg

Mix all dry ingredients first then everything else. Mix in the Shiner at the end. Chill it. Heat 24 oz of canola oil to 350 degrees in a medium pot.

This season’s dark wheat brew from Shiner Brewery is the perfect choice for this batter. Its malty flavor still comes out along with the Texas peaches and roasted pecans. You better believe this is the drink choice for around the fire-pit this winter.

Time to prep the ornaments. We’re in the kitchen, put that sewing needle and yarn away and pull out the bamboo skewer and butcher’s twine. Grab the box of trees and start stabbing holes, running string through, and tie knots like a Las Vegas wedding chapel on 12/12/12.

The trees are now ready to bathe in the batter. Careful not to pull out the trees too quickly after they are coated, they might break at the holes because of the extra batter weight. Let the excess batter drip off.

This is were I get excited and start feeling the presence of the Holy Ghost! Slowly lower the beer-battered holiday ornament in the hot oil (a sentence I would have thought I would NEVER say). Oh man, the smell of this frying brought me back to State Fair days, passing by the Funnel cake stands. Fry each side less than a minute until golden brown. Remove fried goodness and let it drain any excess oil on a paper towel. Set aside to cool.

What’s the holidays without a family bonding activity? Have the kiddos (or drinking buddies) decorate the ornaments. Use festive icing, sprinkles, and powdered sugar. Make it a contest for the best looking ornaments. The loser get’s to spend Christmas in a corner…I kid, I kid.

Now this is a Xmas tree! The Glut Life tree got some fried ornaments around it, no fugazi. Finally biting into this piece of heaven on a string you will be filled with holiday cheer! The batter is crunchy on the outside and fluffy with hints of vanilla, cinnamon, and peach. (This would make a dope funnel cake BTW) The frosting on the Little Debbie is contained in the batter shell and the cake is warmed from the frying.

An angel might get his wings when a bell rings, but after he takes a bite of this he’s not gonna what to fly, just park and sip.

Oh… and Santa, we at the Glut Life made you a little som’n som’n. Tell the Misses to stop tha bitchin’, you gonna make it in a second. Beer battered chewy Chips Ahoy (leftover batter = excuse to fry anything)