Following on from my ranking of the best nicknames in the current AFL system, it seems only logical to focus on even more trivial aspects of our game. Outfits have varied significantly over the 157 odd year history of Australian Rules. In early park matches held in Melbourne, teams often were only distinguished from each other by cloths of different colours, tied to their upper arms. As the game and clothing developed, jumpers went through lace ups, long sleeve only woolen jumpers and today’s polyester, generally sleeveless outfits.

During this time, every team has worn some great jumpers and some shockers, so it’s about time somebody had enough spare time to rank the best and the worst of each team. Part one and two (yes, I really have that much time to waste) will include the best and worst from home jumpers, away jumpers and any notable special jumpers. Special jumpers include heritage rounds and promotional jerseys.

Obviously, some teams will have more outfits to choose from than others. Clearly Melbourne will have a larger selection than Greater Western Sydney. That’s just how it is, and it means that, generally, newer clubs will have better worse outfits. If that makes sense. Also, as general rule, lace up jumpers have to be ghastly or glorious to be included. It’s hard to judge a jumper that can break in two, so they will be ignored more often than not. For arguments sake, Fitzroy, Brisbane Bears and Brisbane Lions will all get separate sections. Sydney and South Melbourne will also be split.

Unfortunately, University only had one jumper, so they don’t get included. State of Origin teams are not included, but who knows, that could be a companion piece in the future.

This is all my opinion. If you disagree with it, which I’m sure you will, let me know in the comments or at my Twitter. Nothing like a Twitter debate about footy jumpers. Also, this isn’t a ranking, it’s just in alphabetical order.

Now that nonsense is out of the way, it’s probably time to get started. About 99% of the research into this was conducted on the unparallelled footyjumpers.com. If you have a few spare dollars, feel free to donate to them. They’re really great.

Adelaide Crows

Best home jumper: When it comes to home jumpers, Adelaide have been pretty dull. They’ve stuck to the red-yellow-blue stripes throughout their existence, and it makes sense. It’s the South Australian colours and it’s not a bad jumper. Unfortunately, it makes things very pedantic when separating best from worst. The 2004 look featured a simple collar and avoided trying to be too showy, which came about in later years.

Worst home jumper: I’m not exactly sure what the Crows were thinking with the 2009 jumper. There is a square on the front for no real reason, and the red hooping style seems unnecessary. Don’t mess with a good jumper for the sake of it.

Best away jumper: The original away jumpers pulled off the often difficult task of reversing colours on a jumper. From 1999-2005 the Crows wore a similar jumper to home, except with a red upper half and a black crow on the centre of the front. Recently, with clash jumpers becoming important, the Crows have gone all white with their away jumpers, which is a shame. The 2003 away jumper is classy, with the old style number back.

Worst away jumper: As mentioned above, Adelaide has become white to provide more of a clash. This makes sense, but doesn’t mean the jumpers look great. The 2015 away jumper features claw marks, which never works out well. However, the worst is the 2009 jumper. 2009 wasn’t a great year for Adelaide design, and this cartoonish crow with a strange red/yellow pattern just seems a bit silly.

Special jumpers: The 2006-07 heritage jumper was a really good example of a team taking a risk on design and it coming off. Featuring SANFL teams in a strip on the left was an inspired choice. It adds history and doesn’t make the jumper awful. Adelaide have only had one pre-season jumper, and the reason why is because it stinks. It must have formed the basis for the 2009 away look, why they brought it back in 2009 will forever escape me. The back is even worse in the 1996-98 version. Yuck.

Brisbane Bears

Best home: The Bears had a comical tenure in the league. They didn’t get a lot right, and their jumpers never really hit the mark. The collared look from 1992-95 was a simple use of the Queensland maroon (it’s really cerise, but they need a break), and if in doubt, a V always creates a passable jumper.

Worst home: This comes down to two options, the inexplicable poo brown of 1987-88 or the cerise version from 1989-1991. The pyramid logo probably wasn’t a great choice in the peak days of the pyramid scheme, and the line from the logo around the back was just silly. Poo brown never looks good, so 1987-88 is the worst.

Worst away: The Bears away jumpers consist of a reversed version of the 1987-88 and the 1989-91 jumpers. There are no best jumpers here. For judgement sake, the poo brown loses again.

Specials: If only the Bears were around in the more promotional era we live now. I’m sure they could have concocted some shocking XXXX Gold jumper. Alas, the Bears didn’t have any promotional outfits.

Brisbane Lions

Best home: When the Lions merged with Brisbane Bears, they thankfully got rid of the cerise. There have basically been two BL jumpers; old lion and new lion. Old lion is infinitely better. We are talking 1991 Brisbane Bears compared to 2002 Brisbane Lions infinite. Mark McKean the captain compared to Michael Voss the captain infinite. In 2002 they added the BBFFC insignia to the back of the jumper, and that is a touch good enough to earn the best jumper.

Worst home: Man, that new lion really was a stinky idea. It was introduced to match the new Brisbane Lions logo. A choice that – while not as bad as the live lion at games idea, or the Voss quick rebuild centered around Brendon Fevola idea – ranks amongst the worst at that club in the past decade. The jumper was introduced in 2010 and removed for this season.

Best away: Since away jumpers have generally been a thing only in this century, that infamous new lion looms large over the BL away jumpers. The white away jumper from that period is actually kind of decent, and deserves some praise. The throwback Fitzroy-red guernsey is the finest, but it isn’t all that different from their regulation home jumper.

Worst away: Amazingly enough, this involves the old lion. Having an icon split its time between the front and the back of a jumper never looks good, least of all when it is a bulging maroon monster on a yellow background. I can only assume this sold enough copies in the merchandise store for it to be brought back for 2006, because I don’t have any other reasons.

Specials: Brisbane Lions for one thing, always nail heritage jumpers. Their really old, Fitzroy Gorrillas style from 2002 and 2005 were excellent, their 2007, 1970s throwback was great too. They even managed to improve on the Bears pyramid logo, it’s not great, but it’s an improvement and the hall of fame jumper was great too. Way to go Brisbane Lions. Points for effort and cause with their Army style guernsey, but they didn’t quite pull it off.

Carlton Blues

Best home: Carlton have had only one jumper in their history that wasn’t plain navy blue. From 1897 to 1913ish they had a cream upper third that was actually kind of nice. But they are the Blues for a reason, and the only way to distinguish jumpers is by the insignia on the chest. Between 1909 and 1927 Carlton experimented with various fonts and styles for their CFC. The last of these was probably the best, emerging in 1926. There is a reason why the 1927 insignia was voted back in to the modern jumper by the fans last year. It’s classy, it’s classical and it is very blue.

Worst home: As mentioned, it is hard to pick the worst when all the jumpers are so similar. The Blues had a small number situation going on in 1911. It’s a little harsh, but that is the worst they have had.

Best away: This is split in two. The colour flipped, all white version is actually not bad. The 2015 version has enough sneaky dark blue and the older logo.

Worst away: It’s the sky blue. Despite some derogatory feelings in the football community, the sky blue isn’t an abomination, but it isn’t good either.

Specials: Carlton has a great history with random jumpers. In 1900 they wore a Union Jack on their back during a Queens Birthday uniform and in 1914 they had a sash against Fitzroy for clash reasons, both very silly jumpers. Their sky blue M&M promotion uniform in 1997 was one for the ages, while they wore an all yellow guernsey in 2009 with Lance Armstrong’s pre-disgrace signature on the front, both wildly contrasting outfits. The heritage jumpers they wore in 2003 and 2004 were winners though.

Collingwood Magpies

Best home: Firstly, yes, there is a difference between black on a white background and white on black background. If you thought this piece was childish and far too detailed for its subject, you haven’t seen anything yet. From 1897 to 1975, Collingwood jumpers had black outsides, so I’m claiming them as white on black. From 1976 to 2000 Collingwood was black on white, with the only alterations being on the back and with the collars. This century Collingwood has switched to white on black, in a darker more villainous look. I prefer black on white, maybe that is a by-product of being raised with white on black and pining for a more heritage look. The 1988-97 look, with thinner stripes and a normal number on the back is the best.

Worst home: I don’t know, the round collar on the 2013-now jumper looks a bit silly? Round collars generally aren’t great, so, yeah.

Best away: Don’t let the publicity fool you, Collingwood have had away jumpers. From 2011-12 they wore a black jumper with only two white stripes.

Worst away: From 1998-2000 they wore a dark jumper with a magpie logo on the chest, from 2002-04 they had a swooping magpie descending towards the stomach The 1998-2000 look wasn’t great, the traditional style number crest doesn’t come off here.

Specials: Collingwood heritage jumpers really aren’t a story (because the rest of this is!), but they have put in a couple interesting promotional jumpers. The Magpies wore a pre-season jumper between 1996-97 that is really bizarre. A cartoonish magpie with some sort of barcode background? Did anyone think that through? In 1982 Collingwood played against Swan Districts in the 1982 Escort Cup, a fascinating night time competition. Perhaps because they weren’t the McGuire superpower/overlord they are now, Collingwood wore a Melbourne-style guernsey to avoid a clash, as they played away. It doesn’t look too bad. Their 2014 Indigenous Round jumper was subtle and stylish as well.

Essendon Bombers

Best home: Even Collingwood had more variety than this. Red sash on black background. In 1918, Essendon thickened the sash, and in 1975 they thickened it again for television. For some reason in 1897 and 1909 players were allowed to decide which side they put the sash on, or their mothers or their brothers decided or whoever. I’m a sucker for the collar look from 1918-1974, it’s very historic.

Worst home: After 2011 the sash was straightened. Not sure why, but it is far less artistic. The 2015 jumper added a red slip to their collar, probably just to be different and sell more jumpers. It isn’t an improvement.

Best away: Essendon have never worn an away jumper for away purposes, only a clash jumper. The best guernsey widened sashes. They aren’t great, but these days clash jumpers are essential.

Worst away: Technically Essendon are trying to pretend their grey jumpers are heritage jumpers. There is no precedent or explanation for it, but they are clash jumpers. And they suck.

Specials: Their heritage jumpers aren’t anything to write home about, but they have had a couple of smart promotional guernseys. In 2013, Essendon celebrated 140 years with a jumper featuring all their faded logos on the sash and player names over the black. It’s a subtle throwback and it is nice. The TAC promotional jumper is perhaps the best example of using the jumper to tie into the promotion. Using the sash as a seatbelt was a genius idea, bravo.

I’ve had to back track to Essendon on account of the new release of the 2015 Anzac Day jumper. It’s excellent, the number of poppies signifying the lives lost, the names on the jumper and the smaller sash are all smart and in good taste. Well done.

Fitzroy Lions

Best home: This is tough, I really like all the Fitzroy jumpers. Maybe it is because they aren’t around, and I have always thought of Fitzroy as this kind, underdog team. It would be fun to go to a Fitzroy game because you would win, their fans would be polite and they would have a certain poor little kid charm about them. Through their history they moved from all maroon to maroon with a blue yoke to maroon with a lowered shoulder blue and then red and blue for television. All the jumpers are great, but in 1956 the Lions changed their insignia to white and that is the most attractive.

Worst home: From 1908-11 Fitzroy were just plain maroon with blue cuts. That’s a pretty dull jumper, so it has to be the worst.

Specials: Fitzory weren’t around for away jumpers, so we’ll skip right ahead. They only really have two options for special jumpers, a heritage one in 1996 that isn’t all that bad and a pre-season jumper from 1995-96 that is outrageous. That is a top five worst jumper.

Fremantle Dockers

Best home: In 2011, Fremantle took inspiration from a heritage jumper they wore (more on that later), and changed their jumper to a purple back with three white vees down the chest. As far as purple and white jumpers go, it’s about as good as it gets.

Worst home: Look, the original anchor look wasn’t that horrible. It was just busy. I liked the anchor, it was a great throwback to the actual dockers, but the three colour background wasn’t ever really going to work.

Best away: While the current reversal for an away jumper isn’t bad, the purple anchor on a white background is excellent. As mentioned, the anchor is great historically and the purple on white is just subtle enough to be a really great guernsey.

Worst away: I’ve been kind to Fremantle so far, but that is over. Green jumpers don’t work so the original green/purple/anchor away jumper isn’t any good. The vertical stripes with an anchor was terrible. But the 1998-00 away jumper, featuring a 3D anchor and a 3D crest for the number is really, really bad. It’s on the edge of the top five worsts.

(Note: I missed the ‘Specials’ section for Fremantle in the original post. This section has been added in two weeks after the original post)

Specials: The Dockers have worn some interesting heritage jumpers. They wore a Sydney-style red and white style in 2003-04 of vee’s which led the the current home jumper. It’s not bad. Fremantle wore an interesting blue and white vertical thirds jumper, based on East Fremantle’s look from the 1970s in 2007 that is also a better jumper than the original home jumper. The Dockers have gone with the same Indigenous jumper in the past two seasons, and it is a nice incorporation of the home jumper, by replacing the vee’s with boomerangs and the Aboriginal artwork is subtle, yet stands out. It’s a good look.

Geelong Cats

Best home: Like most of the original teams, Geelong haven’t changed their look all that much. The number of blue hoops on a white background and collars are the only real variables. In 1919 the Cats went to their more modern look of thicker hoops. This is going to be a rare distinction, but the 21st century look is actually the finest. In 2010 Geelong went to a wide neck and it is quite nice.

Worst home: With respect to the strange white collar of 1975 and the weird round hoops of the original jumper, the worst jumpers were worn from 1908-18. They were bib style, with the players often wearing shirts underneath their jumpers.

Best away: Geelong has had a torrid time trying to find a decent away jumper. The 1999-04 away jumper period excepted, all the jumpers have been for clash reasons. The last two jumpers they have used, in 2013 and the current one, are the best. I’m not sure the current one is enough of a clash for its use, but it looks the best.

Worst away: A lot of honorable mentions here. In 1914 and 1921, Geelong wore a plain blue jumper for clash reasons, in 1998 they again wore a very blue jumper that was removed because it looked too much like Carlton and in 2007 Geelong went for an ill advised claw-tear jumper, a design that never really works. In 2008 the Cats tried to incorporate their new logo into their clash jumper, which was just silly, and they followed that up with faded white stripes from 2011 to 2012, not sure what the thinking was there either. The biggest debacle was in 2003 though, where Geelong wore a clash jumper against Collingwood that was shelved because it looked too much like Collingwood’s guernsey, I guess completely forgetting what happened five years before. For sheer stupidity, that is a highlight of this piece.

Specials: Much like the away jumpers, the Cats have been hit and miss in specials. their best heritage jumper was from 2005, a jumper that wasn’t really heritage at all. Their team of the century jumper was very blah, and the 2010 jumper to celebrate 85 years of partnership with Ford was a worse version of the 2008 clash jumper. In 2009, Geelong celebrated 150 years with a classy scripture jumper of players names, it is perhaps the finest scripture jumper seen in the AFL so far, a smart incorporation of the actual jumper. In 2013, they followed it up with a reversed version under the guise of members appreciation for those who paid to have their name on the jumper. A bit of a cash cow idea, but visually it is a very nice look.



Gold Coast Suns

Best home: As I mentioned in my piece about nicknames, the Suns are blessed with a great location and an almost unfailable outfit. They’ve gone with a basketball-style logo on chest instead of the historical patterned design. It’s a sound and a solid combination. The Suns have only had two home jumpers: a duller and a brighter one that came into being in 2013. The brighter one wins, I guess.

Worst home: The dull one, keep up.

Best away: Gold Coast flirted with a wave design on their away/clash jumpers in the beginning, and while it didn’t fully come off, it was a worthy attempt. They’ve currently gone with a more subtle design, with a kind of blue/yellow crescent and a white background. It’s not perfect but it’s fine.

Worst away: As mentioned, there wasn’t anything completely wrong with the wave design, it just didn’t quite come off. The blue and white one missed by the farthest.

Specials: Gold Coast have only had three specialized jumpers: a 2011 founding donors thank-you, a 2013 founding members thank-you and the 2014 Indigenous jumper. The 2011 one is just a normal jumper with names, nothing to write home about. The 2013 jumper put in a cool, lifesaver looking logo that they should feel free to use again. The Indigenous jumper is excellent, again incorporating the sea, sand and sun, it’s a joy to look at. I really have come off as a Gold Coast lover here haven’t I?

Alright then. We are halfway. There are 11 teams to come, part two is right here when you want to look at them.

Also, the top five worst jumpers of all time is here.