My gift showed up last Friday, but I've been in such shock trying to figure out how to show appreciation for this amazing good fortune that I've put off writing this post. The Seattle Mariners, the team I've loved since birth and with which the fortunes of my summer wax and wane, matched up with me for this exchange. Words can't even. I can't even. I feel as futile right now as Rockies hitters looked against James Paxton's curveball earlier tonight.

I've never been accused of being a good photographer, but I also managed to recently scratch the lens on my main camera so I had to take all these photos with my selfie camera. I'm pretty sure it's the most use that camera has gotten in the year+ I've owned this phone. Thus, my brother demands I apologize for the quality of these pictures - and I've volunteered him to come take better ones if you'd like them for your social media.

My incredible package of goodies included:

-A King Felix bobblehead

-Four tickets to Kyle Seager bobblehead night on July 8

-A DVD of Felix's perfect game: King of Perfection

-Two tickets to the Seattle Aquarium, given your excellent powers of Reddit stalking and my appreciation for sub-Mariner activities

-Three autographed Instagraph cards from a prior FanFest. Pretzel sticks & string cheese are far too appropriate a snack for The Bartender!

But above the rest, there were two gifts that plunged into my heart like Edgar driving a ball down the left field line for a base hit:

-Three King's Court T-Shirts, including two promo designs that (I agree, foolishly) weren't selected this year. I'm not sure if you stalked my correspondence with my STH liaison or just lucked into some good fortune, but I'm squarely a size L T-Shirt and it's been a major pet peeve of mine for years that my only options in the Court are M and XL. My amazing liaison scored me a L a couple years ago which I've been wearing ever since, but it's on its last legs. I don't know if I'll ever wear the two promos, but this year's card design should carry me through the next couple of seasons. I can't say thank you enough for that.

-My love for Jay Buhner can't be overstated. His performance on the field, his pranks in the clubhouse, and the joy with which he played the game will always be lasting memories. I once had the pleasure of standing in line next to the dearly departed Ed the Tuba Guy for two hours to get a Buhner Buzz Cut, which was an annual tradition with my brother and dad. Short of maybe Dave Niehaus himself, I don't know that there's any one person who solidified my love of baseball, and the Mariners, more than Bone. His autographed bobblehead has instantly become the crown jewel of my collection, above even the Ken Griffey, Jr. limited edition one I picked up in Cooperstown last July. It's something I'll cherish always.

THANK YOU, Nathan and the Seattle Mariners - You really are the class of baseball marketing and social media. I've never been prouder to ROOT ROOT ROOT for the winners of the Baseball Survivor contest. I'm not sure anything short of your generosity would have motivated me to don my Christmas sweater on one of the hottest days of the year. You hit a Nelson Cruz Boomstick, Dae-ho Lee walk-off making the Korean broadcasters go crazy, Richie Sexson funk blast, Bret Boone Grand Salami, Father-and-Son Griffey back-to-back kind of home run.

goms