FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT

As the coronavirus pandemic wreaks havoc on the cruise industry, experts say now is the time to purchase that cruise ship you’ve always wanted as the sticker price on many vessels falls to within the budget of the common man.

“Yeah, we’ve got a couple of cruise liners in stock at the moment” said a suspiciously sane Crazy Steve from Crazy Steve’s Discount Cars And Also Cruise Ships.

“Pestilence Of The Seas over there is on sale for this weekend only. You get all sorts of features; check this out: it seats 3450 so it’s great for a growing family and there is plenty of room for groceries in the cargo hold”

“If the kids get bored on the way to grandma’s house there is a 6-lane bowling alley and a 42m pool with 2 waterslides. You get all the features of a smaller vehicle such as climate control and a really, really fancy GPS setup, but you also get the added benefit of 4 bars, a casino, two nightclubs and an amusement arcade with 8 dodgem cars.”

With a panicking NSW Government ordering Carnival Australia to steer their COVID-19 petri-dishes directly to Port Kembla and become the South Coast’s problem – Crazy Steve says obviously the Pestilence of The Seas isn’t the only model he’s got on offer.

However, given the fact that it’s one of the few cruise ships that he’s already had coated in industrial grade disinfectant by forensic cleaners wearing HAZMAT suits – it could be the one you miss out on!

“I’ve got the keys right here!” says Crazy Steve!

“Plus, if you do feel a big nervous because it’s larger than your previous vehicle, you can just get one of the 800 staff to help you reverse park it at the mall. Now, it’s only $29,990 at the moment, but I can only hold the price for this weekend, and there is someone coming to look at it tomorrow, so if I were you, I’d be putting a deposit down right now”.

Recreational fisherman Jason Idle said whilst he originally planned on upgrading his 3m tinny to a 4.5m Half Cabin with a 75HP outboard, he was swayed by the price and ended up purchasing the Cluster Princess, a 280m long cruise liner with four 14000hp inboard gas-turbine engines.

“I did go over budget a bit” admitted Jason

“but I must say, I reckon I got a great deal.”

“The pool is ideal for a live bait tank and the armchairs in the lounge are so comfortable. My son and I just drag them onto the deck and throw a few lines in.”

“It’s heaps more spacious than the tinny so you can bring a few friends along, but I must say the wife was pretty surprised when I got back home with a 98,000 tonne cruise ship on the trailer”.

MORE TO COME.