I will not be attending Airplay as a panelist. The committee spent weeks debating the merits of the chosen representatives. I know there was a great deal of support from the community for my nomination. It will always be my honor to have been chosen. I’ve never claimed to be the voice of Gamergate; I’ve just always tried to make sure you all are heard.

I’m no longer sure that AirPlay is in Gamergate’s best interest, and I’m no longer confident that the issues you brought to the table will be addressed in the way you deserve.

One of the most beautiful things about Gamergate is that it’s not a party, it’s not a club. It’s leaderless. “No figurehead” has always been the way it’s been. Gamergate isn’t here to make some people look good. It’s not here to buttress someone’s career or shore up support for pet projects.

When there’s a colossal breakdown in critical communication, that’s not good for Gamergate or AirPlay.

When panelists are not being consulted about the very panel they’re going to be involved in or asked about how they’d like to see things handled, that’s not good for Gamergate or AirPlay.

When the person putting together AirPlay intentionally makes an antagonizing update focused around myself removing nuance, context, and omitting the bulk of their own actions during a private conversation in order to spin a story… that’s not good for Gamergate or AirPlay.

(Note: You can see my entire line by line breakdown of that update and my take on what happened right here; it’s the first hour of the stream, roughly)

The history of Gamergate cannot be covered in 15 minutes. Airplay was never about shortchanging your one chance to be represented. It was supposed to be about you. Not me, not any other representative. Anyone saying the history of Gamergate isn’t important… well, that’s someone who doesn’t understand Gamergate.

We were sold an event that guaranteed us an opportunity to speak your piece; to educate mainstream journalists about your side, the side that has been ignored, shut down, pushed aside, presented to the public in an utterly dishonest way and intentionally misleading.

This is not the event that AirPlay has turned into. I cannot stand by and watch a bait-and-switch and say nothing. I promised you that I wouldn’t let you walk into a hatchet job, and right now I’m watching the axehead be sharpened. Because of that update that was posted and the mischaracterization of the situation that was presented, my trust in this has been exhausted.

As I said, all those that donated for my travel fund will receive refunds soon (as I’ve just started them this evening). Please keep watching this space as I post further emails from GoFundMe so that you can see the progress of that. Transparency is king. It’s your money, and you’re entitled to it.

I’m going to put my effort and passion into helping the next generation of game journalists and those fledgling outlets that have sprung up in the wake of Gamergate. Those things are still hopeful and they still have a chance to deliver on the promise of ethical journalism and balanced reporting.

And again, it was an honor to have been selected, and I’m sorry to have disappointed you. I’m disappointed as well.

For the rest of the panel, I think they’re amazing speakers and I think they’re going to do a great job. Give them their your support.

Refund Update #1: I sent in the request to GoFundMe to begin the process.

Refund Update #2: GoFundMe has received the request and asked for absolute confirmation, which I agreed to.

Refund Update #3: GoFundMe has begun the process of that refund (they need to work with WePay, they’re the ones that handle the bank transactions).

Refund Update #4: GoFundMe asked for additional confirmation that the funds reached my account, and the entire balance is available to prevent overdraw.

Refund Update #5:

The refund process has officially started, and should be completed within 7-10 business days.

Refund Update #6:

I can confirm that the refund process is starting on my account end.

Refund Update #7:

Refunds have gone out to backers, and each backer should receive an email detailing this (along with an update that links back to this post).



