Georgea Kovanis

On Style

Who on Earth thought it would be a good idea to encourage men to grow mustaches and beards during the biggest eating season of the year?

Seriously, here we are on the verge of mashed potatoes and gravy and cranberry sauce and all the other Thanksgiving treats and trimmings. And we've got men all over the country growing crumb catchers, flavor savers and soup strainers.

You get the picture, which, as visuals go, is pretty gross.

I know it's for a good cause. That the Movember Foundation asks men to grow mustaches during November — or as the foundation prefers, Movember — to raise awareness for men's health. And I know that some men are participating in No Shave November — they grow facial hair and donate the money they'd usually spend on shaving supplies to the American Cancer Society.

But mustaches are seldom a good choice. Ever. First, there's the porn star factor. Few men can wear a mustache without looking like a porn star.

Beards aren't generally a good choice, either — except for Santa. Kissing a man with a mustache or beard — especially when they are in their early, prickly, stages — is like kissing a cactus.

Add to that the Thanksgiving food factor — mustaches and beards catch drips and dribbles, which, like green bean casserole, are plentiful at Thanksgiving. And the only leftovers I want to see are in my Tupperware.

So, please guys, donate to the cause but shave before you sit down to eat.

It'll give the rest of us something to be thankful for.

Contact Georgea Kovanis: gkovanis@freepress.com or 313-222-6842. Follow her on Twitter @georgeakovanis