Arsene Wenger has confirmed that Olivier Giroud has signed a new deal with the club.

Overnight reports said the Frenchman had extended his contract until 2018, and the manager, speaking the press ahead of tomorrow’s Champions League tie with Galatasaray backed those stories up.

“It is done. We will complete it,” he said. “We will announce it when it is completely finished.”

So now it’s just a matter of dotting the Is, crossing the Ts, styling the hair, waxing the bikini line, getting the eyebrows plucked, working that stubble into exactly the right shape, and giving it all a good spray of Sex Panther which works 60% of the time all of the time.

Zut Alors!