NO WAY!! Disney has fired composer John Williams from Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker after an anonymous blogger resurfaced a series of offensive tweets Williams made. “The vile attitudes and statements discovered on John’s Twitter feed are indefensible and inconsistent with our studio’s values,” Walt Disney Studios chairman Alan Horn said in a statement to The Hollywood Reporter, “and we have severed our business relationship with him.”

The anonymous blogger began resurfacing some of Williams’ old tweets, some going back nearly a decade. In the tweets, Williams makes a number of sexist jokes about Minnie Mouse and a controversial relationship between Pluto and Goofy. Just like with Pizzagate, conservative conspiracy theorists took the dark humor to another level by retweeting and boosting them. They promoted the absurd theory so fiercely that liberal parents threw out and burned their children’s beloved stuff toys in a move to boycott Disney in a show of support of gay rights while also condemning the implied bestiality.

The rumored pizza that Elfman was eating when he got the news he will stepping in to redo the nearly 5 hours of music Williams had completed for December’s The Rise of Skywalker.

While Williams’ jokes are by no means appropriate, nor the kind of thing that family-friendly Disney would want to be associated with, the assertion that they prove Williams is himself part of an anti-gay conspiracy seems just as absurd as the Pizzagate accusations about James Gunn last year.

Another theory is that Disney themselves dug up these Tweets as a way of replacing Williams with less scrutiny, because they have been wanting to change the musical direction of Star Wars for years now and it’s apparent he isn’t dying anytime soon.

Danny Elfman, of Oingo Boingo fame, has long been rumored as a replacement for John Williams well before this conspiracy surfaced, and now that replacement is confirmed.

“It is with great joy and delight that we announce Danny Elfman will be joining the Star Wars family. His dark and youthful take on cinematic scores will add a new level of excitement to this final installment and pave the way for new adventures to come.” – Kathleen Kennedy, president of Lucasfilm

We reached out to John Williams for comments and were referred by his agent to his attorney, David Boies, who represents other celebrity clients like Michael Moore and Carly Simon. Mr. Boise’s office said that they will issue an official statement soon, but to expect suit to be filed in the very near future against Disney.

In the meantime, Disney, which owns the rights to much of Williams’ original scores, has barred the composer from conducting any orchestral performances of those scores.

“It’s going to be a long drawn out battle, and it will probably affect the release date of the next movie.” – Jon Williams, John Williams’ cousin

When approached, representatives for Disney and Danny Elfman but each offered no additional comment.

As always, stay tuned to FakingStarWars.net for all the finest Star Wars comedy, parody, and satire in the galaxy. Don’t forget to follow us on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook and subscribe to our podcast on iTunes or Google Play for even more unbelievable news from a galaxy far, far away. Also, consider supporting us on Patreon… for as little as a buck a month, you can help us fake harder, better, faster, stronger.

-Tokena Femalian