Lots of fun activities at Camp Alex

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Leftover unanswered questions from Camp Alex II (a.k.a. Camp Snoopy, in honor of the intrepid journalists who milked the event for every ounce of news value):

-- If Jim Harbaugh dumps Alex Smith now and the 49ers win the Super Bowl, will Smith get a ring?

-- Smith had the workout sessions filmed, and he talked about maybe sending the video to Harbaugh. What purpose would it serve? Even assuming it wouldn't be a violation of terms of the lockout, what could Harbaugh do? He can't send feedback to the players. Is any coach so desperate that he would watch video of random guys playing catch? It would be like home movies. Look, there's Crabtree smiling and waving from the sideline! And here's the kids playing in the sprinklers. Gosh, that was a fun camp!

-- What's up with Michael Crabtree? Some of the players rode a golf cart from the field to the weight room, but Crabtree was the only player who rode the cart across the street to his car. Doesn't he appear to be about three years away from being ready to walk, let alone play football?

-- When Crabtree set up his new Twitter account, should he have given more thought to his Twitter name - "KingCrab15"? Shouldn't he have checked with LeBron James to ask how well the King James nickname is working these days?

-- KingCrab's latest tweet: "I was suppose to be in New York today, but i missed my flight ... now all my friends are mad at me ... " Whaaat? The plane took off without KingCrab?

-- So did Crabtree ride the golf cart to New York?

-- KingCrab also tweeted, "i'm at the j cole/Rihanna concert eating up all the hot wings ... " Were J. Cole and Rihanna ticked off when they got done singing and found all the hot wings gone and KingCrab sitting there with 'cue sauce all over his face?

-- Way up in the bleachers at Spartan Stadium, that custodian wearing the fake nose-and-mustache thing, doesn't he look kind of like Harbaugh? Football coaches are known for spying, so could it be? Nah.

-- Camp seemed kind of low-key toward the end. Why didn't Smith bring in a fiery motivational speaker, like Brian Wilson?

-- Now that he has memorized it and taught it to teammates, what does Smith think of Harbaugh's playbook?

-- Should we refer to Harbaugh's attack as a wine-and-cheese offense? Because, supposedly, part of his offensive philosophy is that certain plays work best when paired with certain other plays, you know?

-- Do the Raiders feel overlooked because their Camp Richard I, run near Atlanta by Richard Seymour, was mostly ignored by the media, but Camps Alex I and II were covered like royal weddings? Or did the media ignoring Camp Richard I serve to stoke the fires of paranoia and resentment that fuel the Raiders?

-- Do the 49ers come off looking a bit wimpy because they had 25 players in camp on a good day, but some NFL teams got 50 to 60 players and ran plays against a defense?

-- If the 49ers snub Smith now, wouldn't another team in the division acquire him immediately and debrief him on the Harbaugh playbook?

-- What prize did Smith give free-agent Kevin Jurovich for the most correct answers on Alex's end-of-camp quiz? A camp T-shirt? A ride on the KingCrabMobile?

-- Did any of the players notice when he walked past the San Jose State Athletic Hall of Fame that it is called the Jeff Garcia Hall of Champions? What kind of shape do you think Jeff Garcia is in these days? Couldn't hurt to ask, could it?

-- There was almost no defensive presence in camp, and nobody had access to the 49ers' new defensive playbook. What's with that secrecy? General manager Trent Baalke said that was good, because you don't want players learning without coaches and picking up bad habits. Was Baalke thinking it might be like, "Fellas, I know you did it at Camp Alex, but here the rule is no smoking in the huddle"?

-- Which contains more words: the tattoos on Colin Kaepernick's upper arms or this column?

-- Not to doubt Smith's good intentions when he advised Kaepernick to dial back the speed on some of his passes, but didn't that sound kind of like the plain girl telling the cheerleader that those short skirts really are a turnoff for the guys?

-- If the players at Camp Alex were serious about getting ready for the season, why no nutcracker?