In Junot Diaz's book, This Is How You Lose Her, the title character Yunior's mother ponders what went so wrong in a middle-aged female neighbor's life that she never got married or had children.

"Maybe she just doesn't like children,"16-year-old Yunior tells his mother.

"Nobody likes children," she assures him."That doesn't mean you don't have them."

Whether they like children or not, most women can relate to the pressure of being told they should have children and how choosing not to do so somehow means they've "failed" as a woman (as every female celebrity who's ever commented that she might not want kids can attest to). That pressure exists in the Latino community as well, with a constant emphasis on family and well-meaning moms and abuelas asking their daughters, "Mija, when do I get grandchildren?" Here, nine Latinas share how they handle that pressure and why they decided having children just wasn't for them.

Nancy, 35, Fresno, California

My family is Mexican; we were all born in Mexico City. We came to the U.S. when I was about 3 years old. My parents split up when I was about 10 years old due to domestic abuse. My father was every bad stereotype of Latino males that you've heard: borracho, huevon. I saw how he treated my mom and developed this negative view of men. I thought, Why would I want that life? Why would I want to have kids and be tied down to a man forever? Watching my mom work two or three jobs to provide for my brother and me also made me realize that having kids is a huge financial burden.

I grew up in the barrio, so I did see a lot of single moms in my neighborhood, and I think that was also a big influence. My brother had kids from four different women. I refused to be that pregnant Latina with baby daddies for days. There was a time when I thought maybe that's what I'm supposed to do, have a kid, and when I was married, I considered it — not because I really wanted to be a mom, but because that was the general expectation of a married woman.

When I got divorced, I got a tubal occlusion. At first I wouldn't really tell people that I was fixed. They'd say things like, "You haven't met the right guy yet; every girl should have a baby." Finally, I got sick of it. I said, "You know what? I can't have kids. I got myself fixed." People sometimes look at me like I'm an alien. But my mom has been incredibly supportive. She says, "Your spirit is too free; you were meant to travel the world."

Stephanie, 32, Orlando, Florida

In my 20s, I definitely wanted children. The older I got, though, the more I didn't. When I told my mother that I knew I didn't want children for good, she said, "You're probably doing the right thing because as this world is getting worse, how are you going to bring a child into it?"

It really is about looking into the future and saying: What is the world going to be for someone born today? It's not that I don't like children. It's just that it's a social responsibility that I don't want to take on.

It's not that I don't like children. It's just that it's a social responsibility that I don't want to take on.

Also, I feel like I have so much left to do. I lift weights, and I do bodybuilding competitions. That's what I want to do, and it would be difficult to continue if I got pregnant. I busted my butt so hard to finally feel comfortable in my skin and not worry about what others think about me. If I took that away from myself, I'd be devastated. It's something I take so much pride in. Others view it as very selfish. They say, "You're so vain; you're so selfish. Your body is meant to do this." That might be true, but my body is also meant to do a lot of things; that doesn't mean I'm going to go run out and do them.

I've come a long way to get to this point. I grew up going to Ecuador visiting my large family, and I'm definitely the black sheep. They just chalk it up to the fact that I've grown up here in the U.S. I have an "American mentality." They think that because I'm getting older and haven't had kids yet, that I'm giving up on the idea of ever having kids , que pena. It's like they're mourning a death in the family. In contrast, my American friends say things like, "Oh you're just saying that — you'll change your mind." Either way, it's very frustrating, because I feel like people don't respect my decision not to have children as much as people respect the decision to have children.

Connie, 33, San Antonio, Texas

There's a stereotype of Latinos coming from a large family, so you're going against the grain by being child-free as a Latina. But some of us didn't have that same experience. I come from a Mexican-American household, where I was an only child. My parents had me in their late 30s and early 40s, and I didn't really hang around kids or babysit kids. Instead, I was around my parents and their friends a lot of the time. I didn't really get exposure to kids, and when I did, having kids just seemed stressful.

I've now been married for eight years. Previously, I was engaged to someone else, and part of the reason that relationship ended was because he wanted kids and I didn't. I wanted to be with someone who felt the same way about children as I did.

I recall my parents writing their will and they said, "It's just you. You need to have someone as backup in case something happens to you." Well, there's no backup. They also said if I wanted to have a kid, they'd take care of him or her. I just don't think it's right for me to have a kid because there's nobody next to inherit whatever assets are in the family. That was the last time we talked about it.

Marina, 31, Vancouver, Canada

Ironically, I always enjoyed kids. My mom is the first of nine kids, and I grew up in a large, noisy family in Brazil. I have a lot of cousins. I worked as a preschool teacher; I worked as an au pair in Germany and Austria. I'm this weird child magnet.

That's why it's so surprising to people when I tell them I don't plan on having kids. From an early age, I've always liked my quiet time, and I love traveling. I like my hobbies; I like learning languages. I've always invested a lot of my time in this, even as a teenager. I speak five languages. I plan to add more eventually.

When I first met my partner, he asked me what my deal-breakers are, and I told him someone who doesn't like to travel. That was a big deal for him too. As we started to make plans together, it became clear that it didn't make sense to have kids, because we have a very long wish list of where to go. It always makes you sound kind of selfish, but then again, nobody is having kids to save the world.

It always makes you sound kind of selfish, but then again, nobody is having kids to save the world.

There's a path for everyone; for us it didn't involve having kids. But we're not judging anyone who does. I have the occasional time when I'm on the fence, but then I'll visit a friend who has an adorable little baby and play with him or her for five minutes, and I'm like, Aww so cute. Then he or she starts crying, and I think, Thank God that's not me.

My family still believes I'll change my mind, but they're trying to get into the idea that I won't. I still get the occasional person who says something like, "Your life has no meaning until you have kids." People somehow think it's OK to say something like that. Can you imagine if we started telling pregnant people that?

Jennifer, 33, Houston, Texas

My upbringing wasn't the greatest, and I'm estranged from my family. A lot of the women in my family ended up having children by the time they're 16 or 17. I was actually the first granddaughter on both sides that didn't have children. I never had that maternal thing that most people are born with. It just wasn't within me.

I dated one person in the past who actually said being with me was like "a vegan being with a butcher," because I didn't want to have kids. He said he used to have dolls when he was little because he was so eager to grow up and have kids. That was a killer for that relationship.

I'm really good with other people's children, but I always saw myself doing other things. I'm quite happy on my own. I think some people confuse that with selfishness, but realistically I think I shouldn't have a child if I don't have a desire to have one.

Sandra, 34, Mexico City, Mexico

I was lucky to be brought up by parents who never really taught me that my role as a woman was to follow certain steps that usually are very common in Mexico and Latino cultures. My mother is a doctor, and from the beginning, she used to tell me to have aspirations. If I decided to have children, it would be OK, but she also taught me to look for something else.

I knew from a very young age that I didn't want to have my own child. I don't hate children; I have nothing against children. I work a lot with children but have never felt the need to become a parent. I started thinking about how many children in the world don't have families and are waiting for a family to adopt them. If I ever did decide to become a parent, I would definitely adopt a child rather than have one of my own.

My sister is three years older than me and she's also child-free by choice, as well as another cousin of mine — she's over 40 and has been married for 10 years, and she never wanted to have kids either. But everyone has been good, even my grandmother. Usually you're pushed: You're a woman and you're supposed to do something. My family is not typical at all, perhaps, in that matter.

Luana, 43, New York City

I remember eavesdropping on a conversation between my mom and this other woman; I must have been 9 or 10, and they were talking about somebody who couldn't conceive. I remember clearly thinking that she was so lucky because the choice had been made for her. Already I knew that I had to justify my choice. It wasn't until very recently that I came out of the closet with my child-free status. I went through my 30s just telling people — I was married then — that we weren't ready, when in fact the reality was, I never wanted to. It's exhausting to have to explain to people my choice. One of my aunts even told me, "Have a kid even if you don't get married again; just don't be alone."

Both my parents are Dominican; I spent ages 9 to 17 in the Dominican Republic. Latin cultures are anchored in religion and [there's] this image of elevating motherhood to martyrdom, to getting as close to the Virgin Mary as possible. I'm not about that. It's a dangerous image, this concept of a mother who sacrifices everything for her children. That's quite a psychological burden.

I cannot speak for the whole Latino population, but I grew up in a very pro-natalist society, and girls were encouraged to get married and give birth in their early 20s. I'm very fortunate that my parents never demanded to be grandparents. My parents are really modern in that sense. My mother always stressed education, she always put an emphasis on traveling, on seeing the world and being independent. I think she knew I never wanted kids. Now she has to take on this battle because people are going behind my back asking her, "What's wrong with your daughter?"

Laura, 43, Las Vegas, Nevada

I knew at 5 that I wasn't meant to be a mother. I felt different, but in a way that made me feel more powerful, maybe because of the women I looked up to. Wonder Woman didn't have children; a lot of the women I saw on TV didn't have children.

No one believed that my husband and I didn't want children until he got a vasectomy.

My parents didn't believe me. They just figured I was going to have children. Nobody believed that I'd already settled on how my life was going to be. I got married at 21, and still, no one believed that my husband and I didn't want children until he got a vasectomy.

As a Latina, there's this idea that you have to do certain things, and I didn't do them: I didn't take my husband's last name; we're atheists. I come off as though I'm rebelling or purposely trying to be different. People keep me at arm's length; even now, people don't want us to take care of their kids. I actually don't like children very much. When I am around them, I am respectful, but I am one of those people who wishes there were airline flights for adults only. The irony is that children love me.

Suny, 34, Phoenix, Arizona

I never really liked kids. Growing up, my mom would always give me dolls to play with, and I was more into the My Little Ponies and the RC Cars. In high school, when all the girls would talk about what they'd name their kids, I definitely wasn't thinking like that. I probably wanted a horse, but not a kid.

My family is huge. I don't even know how many aunts and uncles I have. When I was a little girl, they just laughed at me and said that eventually my biological clock would start ticking. When I got married, all the questions started coming in. The comments were really harsh. I even have an uncle who said, "You're not welcome in my house because you're so anti-family." Even my brother thinks that I'm not a real woman because I don't have kids. It's more annoying than hurtful. I feel sorry for them because they're so closed-minded.

My parents actually support me, and I have a few cousins who get it. It's mostly just the older aunts and uncles. Also, most of my family is in Puerto Rico. If I lived there, there'd be more pressure, but here in Arizona, the pressure to have children isn't as great.

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