Opinion / Columnists POLITICS SIMON LINCOLN READER: Why you don’t want to bump into Faith ‘Her conduct has ventured beyond shamelessness. This was a calculated insult to the electorate. The middle finger to taxpayers’ BL PREMIUM

Nine years ago, I was visiting friends in Kilburn when I was goaded into playing the childish game called, "Would you … or would you not?" Because of my initial reluctance, I was issued a bad list of candidates, akin to a menu of incurable diseases, but it was only when someone asked me the "would you" part about Jacqui Smith, then British home secretary, that I uttered expletives and walked out. I think the wind changed direction at that moment, because for six months, I was haunted by Smith. One day, Richard lay down on the sofa, wearing only a muffin-top vest and Y-fronts, and allowed his index finger to tremble atop the play button on the remote control because he had just received his order of a DVD entitled Mature Delights Volume 3. When he had finished, Richard gaily folded up the bill for the blue movie — and sent it to the taxpayer. Probably whistling as he did so. So, now I’d like to play a game with you: it’s called, "Who would you rather have in Parliament … Richard or F...