More than 50 candidates have already turned in paperwork years ahead of Election Day. | Courtesy 2016 already here for fringe hopefuls

Political junkies eager for the next presidential race can already find candidates who have declared they’re running in 2016 and not all of them are the cookie-cutter politicians you’re used to.

Welcome to the world of alternative presidential candidates, a broad spectrum of personalities ranging from people who want to push their own brand of economics (“eagle-nomics”), to those who are fighting hypocrisy in politics, to those whose chances rely on cosmic intervention.


Scroll through the already filed Federal Election Commission documents — by the more than 50 candidates who’ve turned in paperwork years ahead of Election Day — and you’ll stumble across “President Princess Khadijah M. Jacob-Fambro” from San Francisco. She writes on her forms that she is running with The Revolutionary Party, and on the section of the FEC filing where potential candidates are asked to write the name of committee, she wrote, “From one alien to another.”

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Likewise, in the address section of his FEC filing, Chuck Zeiger (no party affiliation), writes “Unknown District, Arizona, Planet Earth, Middle of North America (United States of America).”

While each presidential contest brings along its own round of unique candidates — the FEC website lists at least 400 presidential hopefuls who filed paperwork in 2012 — the ones outside the mainstream will have to work to catch the attention from the political press.

“It’s all going to be the Chris Christies, Rand Pauls and Ted Cruzes,” said Michael Kinlaw, who is among those lesser known 2016 hopefuls. “The liberal channels will cover nobody but Hillary, even if she don’t run. Nobody is going to take me seriously. I already know that. And that’s what I need to overcome. … Eventually, the media will have no choice but to cover me because I plan on raising hell.”

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Here’s a sampling of alternative presidential choices you might see on your ballot in November 2016:

E.T. Phone Home

Meet Kip Lee: He’s a perennial presidential hopeful since the 1980s and puts his 2016 electoral success in the hands of one group: The Ashtar Command, an extraterrestrial “benevolent group of cosmic friendship.”

“I’m hoping the Ashtar Command will make it so that I get recognized as a viable presidential candidate of the United States,” the 59-year-old Lee told POLITICO, adding later that his ideal running mate would be John Stossel, the libertarian columnist who’s on Fox Business Network.

Lee’s got his hopes in this unknown cosmic force to help with media attention as well as cash flow (an intergalactic Super PAC if you will), and says he’s running in part because President Barack Obama “doesn’t know what he’s doing.”

The ‘C.I.A.’ Candidate

At least one 2016 hopeful might have a problem with the media’s background check on him: Doug Shreffler, a 53-year-old male living in Port Hueneme, Calif., who says he’s a former CIA envoy “with G4 classification,” and a codename of “Strong Ramrod.”

Hungry primary reporters eager to dig up knowledge on his black-ops career might hit a few roadblocks, as Shreffler admits that the CIA won’t confirm his employment there.

“They will disavow any knowledge,” he said, and as POLITICO later discovered, he was right. When we reached out, the CIA was unable to confirm Shreffler’s possible employment.

But there was a possible back-up plan, Shreffler told us. He asked that we call up the Secret Service, “ask for voice authentication, tell them that my codename was ‘Strong Ramrod,’ explain that I have given it to you for validation purposes. But don’t ask the person who answers the phone. Ask for voice authentication and they will put you to a command center.”

We did as Shreffler instructed.

“Say that again?” the operator at the Secret Service said. “Voice authentication? I’ve never heard of that department.”

Shreffler, who said some of his CIA orders came from “Bill,” adds that he’s a fan of former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, and if things don’t work out in her own political bid, Clinton has a spot as his Vice Presidential pick.

“The secretary of state is a very public position and one that requires a lady to have as much balls as any man,” Shreffler said.

Quran Man

The current front-runner for 2016’s most controversial candidate is Terry Jones of the group Stand Up America Now. If that name sounds familiar, it’s because Jones’s attempts in 2010 to host a “Burn A Quran” day sparked international outrage, as well as outright rebuke from Clinton, leaders of American armed forces overseas and Obama himself.

Jones said his opinion of Obama couldn’t be lower, and that he has his eye on saving the country.

“I’m pretty devastated by the condition of America, the moral condition, the spiritual condition, the economical condition,” Jones told POLITICO, adding that he didn’t have a “game plan” for his campaign and that winning would require “some type of major miracle.”

The ‘eagle-nomics’ Candidate

It would be unfair to give the impression that the entire field is that far away from the mainstream politics. Some, including Robby Wells, a 45-year-old former football coach at Savannah State University who lives in Charlotte and who is seeking the Democratic Party’s nomination, has already crafted a political slogan that doesn’t sound too different from one you might hear on TV news.

His plan to restore manufacturing jobs is called “eagle-nomics,” which, he says, “takes the best of the left and the best of the right.”

“I’ve never seen a bird fly with one wing. You have to have the best of both wings to make the eagle soar.”

And don’t count him out because he’s an unknown — he says he’s already met with donors in California, including some unnamed celebrities.

“Second place is the first loser,” Wells said. “I welcome the opportunity to debate with Mrs. Clinton and anybody else who decides that they want to run.”

Between Christ and Chomsky

Phil Bralich, a 60-year-old from Monterey, Calif., is running as a Democrat and has spent a significant amount of time with Occupy movement.

”I don’t want to be just the guy talking on a panel with a funny hat. I want to do something more significant than that,” Bralich said.

Bralich has his political philosophy down to bumper sticker size: “More liberal than Chomsky, less liberal than Christ,” and he has a wildcard of a vice presidential pick: Ann Coulter.

“I know she’s a Republican but I also know she’s more of a ‘middler’ than most people realize,” Bralich said.

The ‘Karma’ Candidate

Quieter candidates for 2016 include 42-year-old Patrick Drake from Georgia, who said he wouldn’t do a telephone interview with us because “I’m not as eloquent a speaker as President Obama.”

Asked if his candidacy would suffer from conducting interviews solely over email, he replied simply: “I believe in Karma.”

The Anti-Hypocrisy Candidate

Other candidates are more eager for media attention.

“The thing I’m having the most difficulty with is getting more press,” said Temperance Lance-Council (“I’ll never tell my age”), who lives in Los Angeles and who has been running for president as part of the Anti-Hypocrisy Party since 2000. She started the party in Los Angeles as her way of fighting back against politicians talking out of both sides of their mouths.

“I think I really have a lot to say. I think I have a good message. It’s just difficult to get it out there when you’re in a position like I am right now.”

Lance-Council is not only a fan of the president’s, but said, “I’m also a big fan of Michelle Obama’s.” As for her 2016 competition, she sees flaws in New Jersey Republican Gov. Chris Christie.

“I think his brand of politics and his bullish type of behavior won’t fly well with the general population,” she said.

Others in the 2016 pool, see Christie as a role model.

“I find Chris Christie to be a very productive political leader,” said Sherlene Stevens of Washington, D.C., running as a Republican, and who says she has traveled from “Massachusetts on down to Florida” on behalf of her nascent presidential campaign.

The Single Guy

Michael Kinlaw, the 40-year-old living in Colorado Springs who says he’s spent the past few years playing a lot of golf after running a mortgage company in Houston until 2009, and adds if he wins, he’ll be the first single president in a while.

“They’re used to seeing first ladies,” Kinlaw said. “I have a first girlfriend.”

Kinlaw says his chances are about as good as anyone else’s, and said he’s already received supportive emails.

“Everybody’s got to start from where they are and go from there.”