Reader: I work in a large organization where I have some personnel responsibilities. Two men in my office recently received job offers from other organizations. My boss offered them more money to stay, which they accepted.

Two women work in the same position as the men. They receive the same salary the men did before the raises. When trying to hire for this position in the past, I learned that our organization is generally not competitive at this salary, anyway, so I suggested we increase the standard pay for this position. My boss’s response was, “If [employees] want more money, they need to go and get another job offer.” This was not a satisfying answer, since all four are still going to be doing equivalent work.

Is this a common workplace practice? I also wonder whether women are less likely to engage in this type of “fishing” and thus will continue to fall behind their male counterparts salary-wise.

Karla: The Society for Human Resource Management recently advised hiring managers to expect to see more candidates who, rather than seeking jobs, are seeking leverage to win more pay from their current employers. Not only does this trolling for raise bait waste hiring managers’ time, but employees who are “won back” with a counter-offer are still more likely to leave the employer within the year, SHRM noted. And replacements for those lost workers will come from an ever-shrinking pool of desirable candidates, at a higher cost. So your employer’s “bring us an offer” strategy is a risky one for talent retention and cost effectiveness.

And your employer may have a lot of explaining to do if it comes to light that it’s paying the men in a given position significantly more than their female counterparts — or if, for example, management shows male hagglers the money but shows women the door.

That’s not so far-fetched a scenario. Studies have determined that even when women use the same negotiating tactics as men, they’re likely to face a higher “social cost” — and, by extension, a professional cost — for doing so. That’s why the American Association of University Women, in its nationwide Work Smart and Start Smart salary negotiation workshops, generally recommends collaborative over competitive negotiation.

Deepti Gudipati, AAUW’s vice president of member leadership programs, says a female worker with a competing offer can present it in a collaborative manner in this way: “I’ve been offered this opportunity, but I really enjoy my current role and value working for our company. I’d like to talk about how I can stay here.”

Again, of course, opening this conversation poses risks: that she’ll be invited to leave — or that she’ll start wondering why she should bother staying.

Ask Karla Miller about your work dramas and traumas by emailing wpmagazine@washpost.com. Read more @Work Advicecolumns.

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