The feature image for this post is a word cloud made of the first names of everybody who’s ever signed up for A-Camp, a bi-annual week-long camp/conference hybrid event hosted by our website, Autostraddle.com.

This is a list of the most common names in the USA that the editors of Autostraddle have noted for their strong correlations with homosexual activity. If your name is on this list, you’re probably queer or gay or bisexual or whatever. If your name is not on this list, you might still be queer or gay or bisexual or whatever. My name isn’t on this list, and I like girls, so clearly there is no favoritism here.

100. Molly

99. Jane

Jane Doe? More like Jane HOMO!

98. Ryann

Girls have two breasts, and Ryann has two “n”s. Coincidence? NOTHING IS.

97. Lainy

See also: “Lane,” which is the path that leads you from heterosexuality to homosexuality.

96. Nikki

Maybe it’s short for Nicole, maybe it’s long for “Nick.” Either way, you’re gay.

95. Going By Your Last Name As Your First Name

Generally speaking.

94. Kimmy

“This might just be in the south, but Kimmy and its variations (kim/kimberly) are like power lesbians on casual fridays”

– Erin Sullivan, Staff Writer

93. Soph / Sophie

92. Marsha

MARSHA MARSHA MARSHA YOU’RE A LESBIAN

91. Mere / Mer

“Meredith” is a lot of syllables.

90. Taylor

89. Grace

Way back in the late ’00s, Grace Chu started an entire website called “Grace the Spot” and everybody who wrote for it was psuedonymed Grace. Furthermore, I had an Intern named “Intern Grace.” She lives in Ohio.

88. Maddie / Maddy

“I have three friends named Maddie/Maddi/Maddy who are all gay and I almost picked that name for myself.”

– Mey Rude, Trans Editor

87. Courtney

Alaina, Staff Writer: [A-Camper] Courtney Kist is chilling in Portland and is a budding sex educator and like, what is gayer than that?

Riese: Also she has an undercut

Alaina: Also she’s gay

Laura, Staff Writer: I used to make Courtney and Barbie kiss all the time as a kid. I assume everyone did.

86. Gloria

85. Carly

84. Gill / Jill / Jillian

I know a butch lesbian named Jill from Pond Creek, Oklahoma. If you can find a lesbian named Jill in Pond Creek, Oklahoma, you can find a lesbian named Jill anywhere.

83. Karen

82. Zoe

According to Queen Trans Mey Rude, Zoe is the #1 most popular name for white lesbian trans women.

81. Stef / Steph

This name is especially popular amongst bisexual women. Just a tip. If you haven’t kissed at LEAST two Stefs/Stephs in your life and you’re not single, I recommend non-monogamy until you get that taken care of.

80. Ari

79. Brandy / Brandi

“the first gay girl i ever knew was named brandy and she was my best kindergarten friend”

– Laneia, Autostraddle Executive Editor

78. Dee

One “Dee” is gay, two “Dees” (aka “DeeDee”) are not.

77. Kacey / Casey / K.C.

If your last name starts with a “C” and you have a baby, the best way to make sure that baby is gay is to make sure their first name starts with “K.”

76. Rachel

The reason “Rachel” isn’t higher on this list is ’cause there are so many Rachels out there that inevitably, there are a lot of STRAIGHT Rachels out there. When I think about the name “Rachel” as a concept I mostly think about a male friend of mine in college, who was Jewish and only dated Jewish girls because you should always have your eye out for your future wife because your mother loves you and wants grandchildren. (I have never dated a Jewish girl, sorry Mom.) He would joke that he got a degree in “Rachelology” because he had dated SO MANY RACHELS. I just checked Facebook and it looks like he married somebody who was not named Rachel. Maybe all the Rachels turned out to be gay?

75. Ash / Ashley

Stef, Vapid Fluff Editor: ashley is gay but also probably kind of a bitch (sorry ashley)

i don’t think ashley who works here is a bitch

just the ashleys i haven’t met, who are bitches

Riese: ash is like a good nickname for an ashley in a YA novel about a young masculine of center lesbian who could’ve be played by Ellen Page in the film adaptation if they’d done it ten years ago

Stef: ashleigh was the name of a girl in a YA series about horses that i loved as a kid

Ashley, Staff Writer: I hate most Ashleys and I don’t know a lot of gay ashleys

Stef: nobody believed in the runty sickly foal but ashleigh did and then she won all the kentucky derbies forever.

in retrospect this was very gay

74. Jodie Foster

73. Shannon

Stef: before shannon watters there was nothing, only darkness

and now there is only the soft glow of shannon

Carolyn, NSFW Editor (shannon watters’s wife): same

Stef: carolyn please tell me you get a slack alert for shannon’s name

Carolyn: um yes sure do

Stef: i feel like i thought shannon was a pretty straight name but then shannon happened to me

Carolyn: yhat’s what happened to her too

Riese: when i hear shannon, i think “soccer”

i think “girl in a fleece jacket who plays soccer”

Stef: i see shannon smiling jauntily and saying ‘oh hey’ and probably wearing a blazer

Mey: i think “girl with cute short hair”

72. Phyllis

“Jane makes almost twice as much money as Phyllis, they jointly own property and vehicles, and they have assigned each other as beneficiaries on wills and power of attorney forms.” – Counseling Lesbian Partners, by Joretta L. Marshall

71. Shane

If you’re straight and your name is “Shane,” you should change your name.

70. Vicki / Vikki

69. Becky / Becca

“Every Becky I’ve ever known has been gay. Everyone knows a gay Becky.”

– Cameron, Cartoonist

68. Carmen

Carmen De La Pica Morales. Has a more beautiful name of a fictional character, besides “Cookie,” ever sounded so sweet? Nope.

67. Idgie

66. Marissa

“Marissa Paternoster. End of story. Queen of the Marissas.”

– Stef Schwartz, Vapid Fluff Editor

65. Gladys

64. Cameron

Cameron, The Miseducation Of

Cameron, The Esposito Of

Cameron, The Glavin Of

63. Liz

64. Poussey

Like, objectively.

63. Lisa

“Lisa is the Jackie Warner of southern women.”

– Erin Sullivan, Staff Writer

62. Emily

“I dated two Emilys with the same first and last name.”

-Stef Schwartz, Vapid Fluff Editor

61. Kayla / Kaylah

60. Julia / Julie

Once I had an erotic third named Julia who had an ex named Julie.

59. Marisol

“Marisols are like, cool Mexican girls who wear high wasted shorts and flirt with you at the corner store.”

-Mey Rude, Queen Trans

58. Dusty

Remember that time in The L Word when Helena Peabody went to prison and ended up hooking up with a woman named Dusty? She was played by Ilene Chaiken’s personal trainer, Lucia Rijker, who is known as “the most dangerous woman in the world.”

57. Jordan

56. AJ

This one’s for all the Ashleys and Ariels and Amelias out there who just cannot handle being Ashleys and Ariels and Amelias.

55. Mel

It started with Mel B and now there are Mels EVERYWHERE.

54. Patti / Patty / Peppermint Patty

“I’ve had like 12 writing instructors, all named Patty/Patti, all of them lesbians.”

– Kayla Upadhyaya, Staff Writer

53. Diane / Diana

“Kathy and Diane started couples’ therapy to improve their sexual relationship. At the beginning of their three-year-old relationship they were sexually active with each other, but they had been having sex infrequently when they came into therapy.” – Lesbian Psychologies: Expectations and Challenges, by the Boston Lesbian Psychologies Collective.

52. Brittany / Britney / Brittney

51. Brittani

50. Amanda

Stef: i know two amandas who are married

Riese: to each other?

Stef: yes

and one took the other one’s last name

they’re queer porn stars

49. Chris / Cris

48. Kelsey

“you’re practically turning your daughter gay if you name her kelsey. you did that to her.”

-Laneia, Executive Editor

47. Brianna / Brianne / Bri / Bre

We have so many Briannas at A-Camp I can hardly keep them straight, BECAUSE THEY’RE ALL GAY.

46. Lauren

“have we talked about how gay all laurens are? there are at least five gay laurens in austin. I don’t know if that says something about laurens or austin.”

– Intern Raquel

45. Alaina / Alanna / Alainna / Alana

44. Morgan

Once upon a time I wrote a screenplay with my friend Carly, who as you can tell by her name; is gay. The lead character of our screenplay was named “Morgan.” I always wished that my name was Morgan, but it isn’t, so. That’s why I picked it.

43. Kristin / Kristen

Last year “Kristen” came in at 76, but this year it jumped many spaces because Kristen Stewart is out and about with her girlfriend St. Vincent. (There was no list last year)

42. Erin

41. Sarah

This would’ve ranked higher but it seems like there might be a lot of lesbians and bisexuals named Sarah because there are a lot of PEOPLE named Sarah. I didn’t want to have to fight with a commenter about this.

But! I will say that we have had so many Sarahs work here that at one time they were all assigned numerals for easy identification. For example we have published works by Sarah Palmer, Sarah Croce, Sarah Hansen, Sarah Hall, Sarah Fonseca, Sarah Sarwar, Sara Wiseman, Sara David, Sara Century, Sarah Rosenblatt and Sarah Szabo! I COULD GO ON.

40. Amy

“speaking of first girls, amy is gay

amy is almost always gay

aimee, less gay but still probably gay”

– Stef Schwartz, Vapid Fluff Editor

39. Anna

38. Nat

37. Cheryl

If you’re a social worker and your name is Cheryl, you’re probably gay.

36. Sarah Waters

I know of two lady-loving-ladies named Sarah Waters. How many do you know? DM me.

35. Abby

34. Jess

“Lesbian Jess has been made a synonym of Lesbian Jessica. Works and bookmarks tagged with Lesbian Jess will show up in Lesbian Jessica’s filter.” – Archive of Our Own

33. Alice

What does bisexual author Alice Walker have in common with bisexual TV character Alice Piesecki? Their first name. It’s “Alice.”

32. Jo

31. Del

30. Kai

“i’ve almost dated 8 kais

all the kais were slightly masculine of center, wore glasses, had dreadlocks.

also, i have a type

lmao”

-Alaina Monts, Staff Writer

29. Jamie / Jayme

Jamie and Jessie are not together, but they’re still gay.

28. Christie / Chrissie

What do you get when you take a Christina and you teach her how to scissor? You get a CHRISSIE!!!!

27. Carol

26. Cara / Kara

Stef: oh circling back to jill, another jill i know tried to make out with me AT her wedding to a man. jill, you’re gay.

Alaina: There was a Jill in my a cappella group who’s only goal was to date someone in the a cappella group…she did it. Now they’re married

Stef: Kara was the girl i DID make out with at jill’s wedding, i made jill’s new husband take her home

Alaina: STEF THE JILL I KNOW MARRIED A KERA!

Stef: wow

24. Gabrielle / Gabriella / Gabby / Gaby

This name is so queer that FIVE lesbian, bisexual and/or queer women by that name have written for Autostraddle.com! Can you even?

23. Danielle with one “n”

GAY

22. Dannielle with two “n”s.

GAYER

21. Dani

GAYEST.

20. Robin

19. Kelly

Kelly has the van, Kelly will drive to the show, everybody it’s cool, don’t worry, Kelly has got this on lock. Kelly brought Gatorade for halftime, okay? She’s ready.

18. Tiana

17. Sue / Susan / Suzanne / Suze

She who Suzes

Never loses.

Lesbian Proverb

16. Meghan / Megan / Meagan

15. Dana

As we mourn the loss of Dana Fairbanks, we remember all the Danas who are still with us.

14. Tara

There were so many queer Taras in my life in the late ’00s that we had to start developing code names for ease of conversation. This was unfortunate for my first Tara, who was given the nickname “DevilKitty” ’cause when you pick “DevilKitty” for your myspace handle in 2005, nobody should ever let you forget it. It was fortunate for Tara #3, who was somebody’s wife, I believe. They’ve since divorced.

13. Heather

Our Senior Editor Heather Hogan could’ve nominated herself for this position, but she didn’t have to because I already had “Heather” on the list.

12. Kate / Cait / Katie / Cat

“There were four Katies in my first A-camp cabin.”

– Laura Mandanas, Staff Writer

Is it short for Kaitlyn? Is it short for Katherine? Kathleen? Catharine? Caitlyn? You don’t need to know the answers to these questions, you just need to be her friend, even if she changes her name to “Kade.”

11. Alexis

10. Al

This is short for the #1 most popular lesbian name “Alex” which is short for “Alexandra,” or else it is short for the #9 most popular lesbian name “Allison” or else it is short for the aforementioned “Alexis.”

9. Allison / Allyson

See “8”

8. Ali / Alley

When people ask me what kind of folks attend A-Camp, I usually say “people named Allison or Allyson, who often go by “Ali” or “Al.” I’m not lying. That’s who goes to A-Camp. The “A” is for Allison.

7. Nancy

If you were a lesbian feminist in the ’70s or ’80s, you probably went to a women’s music festival with somebody named Nancy.

6. Barb / Barbara

“One day, Lore looked Barb in the eye and said, ‘You are a lesbian.”

-Michael S. Kimmel, The Sexual Self: The Construction of Sexual Scripts

5. Jen / Jenn

Remember Jenn? From Field Hockey? She’s gay now.

4. Deb

“Every Deborah I’ve met over 45 has worn well pressed jeans and button ups tucked into them, but still gets their nails done. She’s a very specific kind of woman.”

-Alaina Monts, Staff Writer

3. Ellen

Ellen DeGeneres, the world’s most famous lesbian, is named “Ellen,” which inspired the website named AfterEllen. Ellen Page is also named “Ellen” and she is the namesake for our website right here, AfterEllenPage.com.

2. Sam

If you give birth to a lesbian, you might want to save yourself the ink and not bother naming her “Samantha” because she’s gonna drop that “antha” like a hot potato / her middle school boyfriend, who was also named Sam. Isn’t that cute? They were both named Sam!

1. Alex

Whether you’re gay, kinda gay, or just know gay people — you know a gay person named Alex. See also: Top 5 Queer TV Characters Named Alex.

Okay, time to yell at us about how wrong our list is! What names are egregiously missing? WHO HAVE WE WRONGED TODAY. Remember to use all-caps, lots of punctuation, and language that expresses vitriolic incredulity if you want us to take you seriously. Threats to our livelihoods and well-being are encouraged.

[ETA: I’d like to pre-emptively apologize to all ye Hannahs and Lauras out there. You were in an earlier draft but something happened between then and now, and I lost you. I’ll make it up to you next year.]