Every Friday/Saturday, I’ll be posting a quick recap of the previous week’s mentions of the squad and anything else Impact related. Some of you actually have to work, rather than crawl the interwebs looking for the faintest mention of Marco Donadel’s Charlie-Brown-like bad luck, or Laurent Ciman’s always-rumored-but-never-witnessed happy face. So, I do it for you.

Last week the squad took it to the New York Red Bulls like we've never seen before, keeping the shining start going a second week. Can they do it again against an almost-laughable FC Dallas team? The Return of the King narrative is almost at its climax, as our own bull has finally found a patch of grass to play on. With the Impact trying to keep the wind in its sails, and blue-in-the-face FC Dallas trying to blow hopelessly in theirs, this should be an exciting weekend match-up.

So, without further ado, here are your Weekly Bites:

Waking up this morning to Sheila's Breath was hard enough, but imagine having to slide tackle through a layer of ice. FC Montreal were forced to make snow angels and strap on ice skates in panicked preparation for being called up to Habs on Saturday. Soccer in Montreal is a whole different sport.

If it wasn't already painfully pleasurable enough to watch FC Dallas get embarassed by Houston in the derby last weekend, the MLS subreddit's weekly Trash Talk thread kicked the Texans while they were down; calling for a 8-0 trounce by the boys in blue. [ REDDIT ]

Nacho Piatti's season last year was marred by injury and personal issues at home. This year, he's returned with a vengeance. He's also got a brand spanking new nickname. Thanks Bill Beacon! [ THE GAZETTE ]

And if ol' Noodle Legs didn't already have enough to be happy about, it looks like the team has continued the Nacho love train by choosing his entrance music.

On à trouver l'hymne officiel de notre #10 Piatti @impactmontreal @nachopiatti @didierdrogba pic.twitter.com/80sWkfU7Dr





Didier Drogba will finally show his face to MLS fans this season as he gets ready to start/graze on the Frisco grass. Gianluca Dimarzio typically covers Serie A, but he took some time out of his schedule to give a great write-up on Drogba's Montreal narrative and what he can still bring to the MLS. [ GIANLUCA ]





GIANLUCA



KYLE BEKKER IS ANGRY, GUYS. [ TVA SPORTS





ERIC ALEXANDER IS KIND OF OK NOW, MAYBE STILL ANGRY TOO, GUYS. [ RDS





Laurent Ciman might have been left off of the Belgian team sheet for the upcoming friendly vs. Portugal, but that could be a blessing in disguise as we most likely won't lose Le General for Euro 2016. MLS.com gave us an extensive list of reasons why that is a really good thing. [ MLS.com





Former FC Montreal midfielder, Zakaria Messoudi , was picked up by Norwegian side Odds BK. The young man signed for the Impact, but never saw his way out of the NASL. He was cut by FC Montreal at the end of the 2015 season.

BREAKING: Odd have today completed the signing of Canadian Zakaria Messoudi. pic.twitter.com/31pwaKgMYE — Odds Ballklubb HQ (@OddHQ) March 17, 2016



The writers over at Indomitable City Soccer (Sacramento FC) gave a nice nod to one of our other Academy/Montreal FC Zach's: Zachary Sukunda. I love it when a blog on the opposite side of the continent knows more about our talent than I do. Thanks guys. [ ICS



The FC Dallas SB Nation affiliate, Big D Soccer (HAHAHA...yea, be sure to include the 'soccer' part when Googling), has a couple of interesting write ups on this weekend's upcoming clash. They seem to be as confident as their name, betting for a 2-2 draw as FC Dallas attempts to pick itself up out of the mud. [ BIG D ] [ BIGGER D ] [ LOVES THE D



Our boy Lloyd Barker, always the man of reason, gave us another pro/con list this week. He gave his man of the match award to the REAL deserving candidate: Evan Bush's face. Armchair Javier was way off on that one. [ THE GAZETTE



Joey Saputo, the love of my life, was sad once again this past week. "Why won't people do what I want them to do so I can make money?" he said, I'm paraphrasing. Maybe people hate the Big'O, or maybe there really isn't all that many Impact fans. But really, if there are only 34,000 Impact fans in Montreal, then why the hell aren't they all reading my Weekly Bites? [ JdeM





This is just to drool at. [ MLS Power Rankings

Romario Williams has been loaned to the Charleston Battery. That would seem to open up an international roster spot. Look, I'm not gonna hop on the Totti-train for this one, like we do every time. BUT WHAT ABOUT IBRA?! [ IMPACT

I'll close off every week with Derrière Chaque Victoire video from Impact Media, so here it is:

The drama has been minimal this week, no new Oduro haircuts or anything like that. Hopefully next week I'll have some GIFs of Le General clearing to Pirate Shipp, who feeds it to Mr. Yellow. Then on to Ol' Noodle Legs, with a through ball to King Drogba. You guys following?