Good old New Zealand, eh. Slow, boring, dull. Befitting of the sobriquet applied to the world in Douglas Adams' Hitchhikers' Guide to the Galaxy: "Mostly harmless".

So while the rest of the planet gives the United States a good, old-fashioned bollocking for bugging with impunity the cellphones of world leaders, many of them its supposed friends, we . . . well, we give them a rugby jersey, obviously.

The performance of Defence Minister Jonathan Coleman in front of the world's press at the Pentagon last week must go down as one of our most embarrassing episodes abroad since Prime Minister John Key inadvertently declared war on North Korea.

Offered the opportunity by a member of the Washington press corps to echo the dismay expressed by US allies around the world over the interception of their private communications, Coleman replied "yeah, nah, no worries, mate".

Well, words to that effect anyway. He actually said: "New Zealand's not worried at all by this. We don't believe it would be occurring. Quite frankly, there'd be nothing anyone would be hearing in our private conversations that we wouldn't be prepared to say publicly."

Nothing? No briefing notes from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs on our relationship with China? Our bottom-line negotiating position on the Trans-Pacific Partnership trade agreement? MFAT's analysis of President Obama's weakening grip on Congress? A frank defence assessment of the US position on Afghanistan? Is there really nothing we don't want America to know?

Even close friends have their secrets. And they aren't afraid to criticise one another, either, as the US has again been reminded by the outpouring of fury from its allies in Europe over the latest spying claims.

But nope, we're cool with it. And we're cool with the US spying on other countries, too, even if the other countries aren't. Key told reporters last week he wasn't concerned about US agencies monitoring foreign leaders. "That's a matter for them to manage their own affairs and their own relationships."

Tell that to German Chancellor Angela Merkel, who probably considered the US-German relationship to be close enough to avoid her phone being tapped for a decade. Or the 34 other world leaders America has allegedly been spying on.

Now before anyone accuses me of being precious, I know everyone spies on everyone else, including the members of Five Eyes (the US, Canada, New Zealand, Australia, and Britain) even though they supposedly have a pact not to spy on each other. And no-one is ever going to admit to it.

But if any state is caught red-handed, mock outrage is the very least that's expected. Not an apology for not being interesting enough and an All Blacks jersey.

Kiwi self-deprecation aside, our international reputation as a fair-minded, independent nation that punches above its weight on the global stage is at risk from Coleman's abject display of grovelling, subservient, cringeworthy obsequiousness towards US Secretary of Defence Chuck Hagel in Washington.

It's enough to make former prime minister David Lange turn in his grave. It was Lange's refusal to back down in the face of American hegemony over the nuclear issue that freed us from the shackles of the ANZUS alliance and allowed New Zealand to look east as well as West in our trade and defence relationships.

It was a position continued by National prime ministers Jim Bolger and Jenny Shipley and strengthened by Labour's Helen Clark, who refused to bow to considerable pressure from the US to commit New Zealand troops to Iraq.

Would this National administration refuse such a request? Or indeed, any request from America? Judging by its haste to prosecute Kim Dotcom on the flimsiest of pretexts and its willingness to turn a blind eye to spying scandal you'd have to doubt it.

It was perhaps ironic that Coleman's US visit marked the final end of America's freeze on military co-operation with New Zealand in the wake of the nuclear ships row. Joint training and peacekeeping initiatives are planned, and a New Zealand Defence Force ship will dock at Pearl Harbour for the first time since the 1980s.

It might have taken the US 30 years to forgive us, but privately both American and Kiwi officials admit that the Lange years were, in hindsight, beneficial to both sides. We increased our stature on the world stage, and America gained a stronger and more strategically useful ally in the Pacific.

It would be a great pity if this National Government confused friendship with subservience or loyalty with exploitation. Our hard-won independent foreign policy is worth more than a free trade agreement we're unlikely to get anyway.

Writing in the Dominon-Post this time last year, former senior diplomat Terence O'Brien warned of the dangers of cosying up to the US at the expense of our developing relationship with China.

O'Brien argued that we were fashioning a new defacto military alliance alongside the Trans-Pacific Partnership involving as-yet undisclosed provisions that had the potential to split the region into a Chinese and a US-led regional economic order.

"We do not want to be obliged to take sides between Washington and Beijing," O'Brien wrote. "We must avoid a crisis of nerve. Assured, balanced, independent New Zealand foreign policy regionally and globally … is vital."

The fear is that O'Brien's words of caution are being ignored.