In a deeply concerning story out of San Luis Obispo, your boyfriend, blonde-haired Wes Pemberton, has expressed an interest in growing out his beard.

“I just think it’d make me look cooler,” said Wes, whose patchy fuzz has never quote covered the entirety of his face. “I’ve never really seen myself with a beard.”

Despite knowing better, Wes is intent on growing out the hair on his face.

“I’m thinking something medium-length but groomed, like Jax Teller from Sons of Anarchy,” explained Wes. “I’ll probably grow my mustache out too. It’s gonna look awesome.”

Yikes! It’s gonna look weird regardless, Wes!

Naturally, you have found yourself worried about the outcome of this experiment.

“I…I really don’t want him to grow out his beard,” you said with a tremble in your voice. “He looks fine the way he is. His father has the same hair. He should know how this is all going to end.”

“I just don’t want my boyfriend to look like a genetically mutated peach.”

But Wes has his heart set on his goal.

“I don’t see what the big deal about me growing a beard is,” said Wes, the poor sucker. “Everyone will get used to it, and I think it’ll look good!”

Well, you’re wrong, Wes!