Satya is generally fairly graceful. She’s a good dancer, and of course, good with light technology, which requires no small amount of grace and delicacy. But today is apparently just not her day, considering she’s staring at the remnants of the second glass she’s dropped. It’s a good thing she kept her ear coverings on when she got home - that would have made a loud sound.

“Gosh darn it!”

Even though Sombra’s on the couch in the other room, with the TV on, her ears actually visibly perk up.

She peeks over the couch, eyes glimmering. “What did you just say?”

Satya stares at her, uncomprehendingly. “Gosh darn it?”

Sombra’s eyes continue to glimmer.

“Oh my god. Satya. You swear like a mom.”

Satya rolls her eyes, turning the other way to go get her shoes and a broom. “For Pete’s sake, Sombra, I do not swear like a mom.” Still on the couch, Sombra actually cackles. Satya glares at her.

“Do you want to be discovered?”

Sombra claps her hands over her mouth, shushing herself. But it’s impossible to miss her glittering eyes and incredibly amused smile.

“You said for Pete’s sake. I cannot believe this is real. I know a real live person who says for Pete’s sake. This is incredible. You’re like, a cryptid.”

Scowling, Satya grabs the broom from the closet, putting on shoes to make sure no glass gets in her feet. “It’s not that unusual. I just don’t like normal swear words.”

Sombra grins. Widely.

“Jumping Jehoshaphat, Satya! I’m not trying to insult you, it’s just funny!”

Satya rolls her eyes again. “Oh my god, Sombra, shut up.”

Sombra, doing an excellent imitation of an offended avid church-goer, dramatically clutches her hands to her chest and contorts her mouth into a horrified expression. “Satya Vaswani! Heavens to Betsy, how dare you take the name of the Lord in vain!?”

“You said the exact same thing earlier.”

“Well, you swear like some white suburban lady, so I was just getting into character.” Sombra snickers, sliding off the couch and daintily stepping into the kitchen, dodging the glass pieces.

“Jeez Louise,” Satya mutters, turning around again. Sombra’s grin grows wider, and it’s Satya’s turn to clap her hands over her mouth as she realizes her mistake.

“Good gravy, you really can’t stop, can you?”

“I am going to call a security guard and tell him there’s a stranger in my room who won’t stop making fun of me.” Satya scowls, brandishing the broom at Sombra, who easily jumps out of the way and lands on the counter in the center of Satya’s small kitchen.

“Are you going to be like, ‘Holy moly, Jim! Great Scott! You won’t believe what’s going on up in here!’”

Satya drops the broom to the floor and gives Sombra a suspicious and extremely amused look. “Out of curiosity, how many of these do you have left?”

Now standing on a chair, Sombra lets out an evil chuckle, producing a screen with “suburban mom swears” typed into the search bar. If Satya had a health bar like she was in a videogame, it would have dropped to half at that very moment. “Balderdash, Satya, you thought I was going to run out!? Prepare to be incredibly irritated until I teach you how to swear properly!”

Satya groans. “That is a completely incorrect use of balderdash. And I know swear words. Please stop before I shoot you.”

At that moment, she hears a knock on the door, probably someone coming into check on her, since Sombra’s antics have caused a ridiculous amount of banging and she left her phone in the other room. Without making a noise this time, Sombra jumps over to the nearest window without touching the floor and flips it open, flinging a translocator to the roof of the next building for her escape. She’s done this a thousand times by now.

“I’m done, I’m done, amiga.” Sombra tells her, giving her what seems like a far softer smile. “It’s not that bad. You’re hilarious, why do you think I keep coming back here?”

She boops Satya on the top of her head before turning on her invisibility and teleporting away, quick as a flash, and Satya can’t help but blush involuntarily as she attempts to rearrange her features into aloofness. Sombra’s never genuine like that.

I’d like to hear more of that, Satya thinks, her blush just intensifying as she opens the door for the Vishkar security. Fiddlesticks.