Yes. I've read the newest viral post “ Marriage isn't for you .” And yes, I like the idea of selflessness and devotion. And I love the idea of dedicating myself and my life to my wife and children. All of those sentiments are lovely. But I am not the sole giver of joy in the marriage. I am also a receiver. And I am not ashamed to admit that when I think about my marriage, and I think about my obligations to my wife and children, I also think about my obligation to myself.





See, if I am not happy, if I am not fulfilled, if I am a bank account with all withdrawals and no deposits, then things are going to get really shitty, really fast. And while, yes, every decision I make is absolutely tempered by the positive or negative effects it will have on my family, I think it is absolutely ludicrous to say that I, me, should not be a part of that equation. It isn't fair to me, and it isn't fair to my family.





I’m not a martyr; I’m a husband and a father. I am not the savior of the family. I am a part of the family. I am not the solution. I am part of the equation. And EVERYONE in our family has the right to be happy, including me. So yes, marriage is for me. And it is for Stevie. And it is for Duchess and Captain. And what the hell, it can be for our dog, Riley, too.





Stevie doesn't want a husband whose sole focus is providing an endless supply of smiles. Stevie wants a husband who is happy and self-assured, as well as devoted and kind. She wants me to consider myself AND her and our kids. She wants me to be honest with her much more than she wants me to make her smile every day. How do I know this? Because we have talked about what we want out of our relationship. Yes. I have told her what I want , and she has told me what she wants . And together, we work to make each other AND ourselves happy.





So call me selfish. I am selfish, and I’m proud of it. My happiness is their happiness, as theirs is mine.





And I’ll be honest with you, we’re pretty damn happy.





End Rant





Dad (John)



