Photo: Patrick McDermott

Capitals defender and everyone’s imaginary best friend forever Karl Alzner appeared on the Marek vs Wyshysnki podcast on Thursday to talk about all sorts of inane and fun things. He was his typical charming self and RMNB got name-dropped, so obviously we’re all over this.

The interview begins at the 20-minute mark.

On playing the Penguins on Wednesday night:

“It was like you’re playing keepaway with your older brother.”

On the Ovechkin-Crosby rivalry:

“It’s not the Ovi-Crosby factor that I’m thinking about. It’s more my own personal Alzner-Crosby rivalry. I’m going into every game thinking, ‘I’m going to stop him, I need to shut him down. It’s me versus him.'”

On the less-awesome-than-expected Metropolitan Division:

“I think some of the teams are starting to pick it up now. By the end of the year they’ll have pretty respectable records. We weren’t ready for that [underperformance], but it’s good for us. We’re happy that we’re in the hunt with the way we’ve been playing.”

On hybrid icing:

“I didn’t vote in favor of it, and I’m still not 100% in favor of it. [. . . ] Especially the teams that have those guys that are really quick. For us, Jason Chimera. It’s nice to have him be able to beat a guy right at the last second instead of having it whistled down early.”

On coming up with the #AlzyCelly:

“If we’re in overtime and there’s a chance for a shootout, I start thinking a little bit about what could be the next one. And we’ve got a pretty good shootout team, so the chances are pretty decent that we’ll have a chance to win that.”

Related: Karl Alzner Explains #AlzyCelly: “I Don’t Want It to Be a Big Thing!”

On further celebrations, specifically the “hot stick” celebration:

[Deadpan, I think] “It went over pretty good in our league when Ovi did it.”

On which Capitals players are worst at the dog calendar photoshoot:

“Probably Nick Backstrom. He doesn’t really like dogs at all, so we always try to give him a puppy so it’s a little easier to handle. John Erskine has a dog too. He has a little pomeranian. I don’t think he has an issue with dogs, but it’s pretty funny to watch him carry it. You can tell he clearly enjoys bigger dogs more. He kinda just grabs the thing like it’s a little purse and just walks around with it.”

Alzner also thinks Holtby has a good chance at making the Canadian Olympic team (me too) and muses on keeping in touch with his old buddies from juniors. It’s a terrific interview, so please do check out the whole thing.

And stick around after Alzner is done, as Greg Wyshynski shares a rumor that the 2015 Winter Classic may be held at M&T Stadium in Baltimore, Maryland. For obvious reasons, I am very much okay with this. Party at Pickles beforehand. You’re buying the first round of Natty Boh.