Once upon a time, there was a king of France who believed he was made of glass. Apparently, this was A Thing at the time. People thought they were made of glass. Literally. It was a sort of advanced, funky hypochondria, I guess. Some cases were more advanced than others, too. From JSTOR Daily:

One unfortunate man was convinced his buttocks was made of glass, and that sitting down would smash it into flying shards. He was afraid to leave the house, in case a glazier tried to melt him down into a windowpane.

Reading the transcript—an actual transcript, mind you—of former Ambassador Marie Yovanovich's deposition to the House committees engaged in the impeachment inquiry, which describes exactly how Yovanovich became a former ambassador to Ukraine. and which is one of the goddamnedest official government documents I've ever read, makes me wonder if El Caudillo del Mar-a-Lago may not be similarly afflicted with the belief that his ass is glass.

Certainly, it is one more damning bit of evidence of the president*'s having rung the bell on impeachable offenses with his extortionate scheme. Certainly, Yovanovich got cheated out of a position she'd earned, and in which, by all accounts, she'd served admirably. Certainly, Rudy Giuliani probably deserves to bask in striped sunlight for the rest of his born days. Certainly, Mike Pompeo is a thoroughgoing tool.

Yovanovitch’s testimony illustrates just what kind of a mess we’re in. Melina Mara Getty Images

But I think we all knew that stuff anyway, even before Yovanovitch sat down before the committees. What I, at least, didn't know was the depth of the madness that has entered American policymaking with this president* and his pack of bumbling buccaneers. All through the extended fandango through which she lost her job, Yovanovich is advised that, if she wanted to keep it, she'd do well to kiss the delicate presidential hindquarters lest they shatter from her neglect. The messenger was Gordon Sondland, the U.S. Ambassador To Bullshit Alibis.

You need to, you know, tweet out there that you support the president. He said: "You know the president. Well, maybe you don’t know him personally, but you know, you know, the sorts of things that he likes."

Dance, monkey, dance! Yovanovitch declined, and lost her job.

This all came as the entire diplomatic apparatus in that part of the world was tasked with getting rid of Ambassador Yovanovitch, and was put in service of a lunatic conspiracy theory and at the disposal of Sean Hannity.

To repeat:

This all came as the entire diplomatic apparatus in that part of the world was tasked with getting rid of Ambassador Yovanovich, and was put in service of a lunatic conspiracy theory and at the disposal of Sean Hannity.

This was so egregious that, according to Yovanovich, the State Department put in a call to Hannity to tell him to put up or shut up regarding the smears of Yovanovich that seemed to be coming from the shady precincts within which Giuliani was doing business in Ukraine. But, still, Hannity?

Schiff: And did you ever find out when, you know, the allegations were being made or the attacks were being made by Donald Trump, Jr., or Rudy Giuliani, did you ever find out what the Secretary of State’s position, whether the Secretary of State was going to defend you or not, apart from the refusal by the Secretary to issue a statement in your defense?

Yovanovitch: What I was told by Phil Reeker was that the Secretary or perhaps somebody around him was going to place a call to Mr. Hannity on Fox News to say, you know, what is going on? I mean, do you have proof of these kinds of allegations or not? And if you have proof, you know, telI me, and if not, stop.

And I understand that that call was made. I don’t know whether it was the Secretary or somebody else in his inner circle. And for a time, you know, things kind of simmered down.

Schiff: I mean, does that seem extraordinary to you that the Secretary of State or some other high-ranking official would call a talk show host to figure out whether you should be retained as ambassador?

Yovanovitch: Well…I’m not sure that’s exactly what was being asked.

Schiff: Well , they were asking if what basis they…was Hannity one of the people criticizing you?

Yovanovitch: Yes.

Schiff: So some top administration official was going to him to find out what the basis of this Fox host was attacking you for?

Yovanovitch: Uh-huh.

Jesus, these really are the mole people.

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Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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