Sen. Chuck Schumer is just a cool dude from New York who wants to decriminalize weed, play some Hendrix, and maybe win back a Senate majority, but like, only if nobody is doing anything afterward or whatever.

Why else would Schumer, the Senate Democratic leader, introduce legislation making marijuana legal at the federal level? Why else would he announce it on 4/20? Why else would he tease the legislation by signing a bong during an interview with Vice News for all youths to see?

Maybe it’s because the minority leader wants to become the majority leader.

The chill Democrat offered his explanation on Twitter. He runs through the boilerplate quickly: Marijuana is considered as dangerous as heroin and is more strictly regulated than cocaine under current law; more than half of all drug arrests are marijuana arrests, etc., etc.

But then, maybe a bit buzzed, Schumer gives away his real reasoning. Two-thirds of Americans, most of whom are not stoners, think it should be decriminalized. And ahead of the midterm elections, Schumer plans on giving the people what they want.



So why have I changed my stance? Looking at the numbers helped. 2/3 of Americans believe marijuana should be legalized, meanwhile more than half of all drug arrests in the United States are marijuana arrests. (https://t.co/MUOam2uIxz) — Chuck Schumer (@SenSchumer) April 20, 2018

Of course, that’s totally fine. George Washington grew hemp and gave us a nation that functions (more or less) by majority rule. If the people want to get blazed in pursuit of happiness so be it. But let’s not pretend that Schumer is doing this for any principled reason. That’s not paranoia. It’s the truth. Schumer is lying through 240 characters in the next tweet. He says he wants to let the states do their own thing.



I have long believed that states should function as their own laboratories of democracy. My bill is a step in the right direction aimed at removing the barriers to state legalization efforts. — Chuck Schumer (@SenSchumer) April 20, 2018



Here hysterical belly laughs are in order, because Schumer could care less about decentralized governance. If he did believe in those little laboratories of democracy, he would let the states make decisions on other things like education, like healthcare, like gun control. Clearly, the senator does not. He is making a cynical play for votes.

If this was a truly heartfelt, if Schumer wanted to find a solution to the opioid crisis through legalization, he would have made his announcement between the years 2008 and 2016 when there was a president in office who might look kindly on legal weed. Instead, Schumer moved on marijuana with President Trump in the White House and with an attorney general particularly disposed to be a buzzkill.

But who knows. Maybe pot legalization will be a good thing for Schumer. Maybe he will mellow out. Perhaps, marijuana will be a gateway drug for federalism.