Just like Demi Moore's whip-it binge, it's Ashton Kutcher's fault that Americans expect direct interaction with celebrities on Twitter. Until @aplusk tweeted support for a child-molester enabler and had to turn over his Twitter account to suits, he included his millions of followers in nearly every stupid fucking moment of his existence. Before long, every housebound yo-yo in Missouri felt entitled to be a part of their famous Twitter pals' lives. That cocky attitude has spilled directly into the feeds of our presidential candidates.

Some people truly believe that Obama is furiously scrolling though Twitter while he crisscrosses the country in Air Force One. And that Romney, gliding thousands of leagues under the ocean's surface in his shark-shaped luxury submarine named AquaMitt, actually has Wi-Fi down there.

Many of their ranks are made up of the charmingly naive. Here are the six types of people who Tweet at the presidential candidates ...