The legendary MVPuppets came back to honor Kobe Bryant’s jersey retirement, but I care way more about these commercials than I do the retirement ceremony.

Do y’all remember the MVPuppets?

The MVPuppets was an awesome Nike commercial series that imagined a life where Kobe and LeBron lived together ... and were puppets.

These commercials ran during the 2008-09 season and trickled into 2009-10 — an interesting time in both players’ careers. For those of you who don’t remember, that was when the Kobe vs. LeBron debate was at an all-time high — even beyond the world of LeBronia and Kobestan citizens, in which the discussion never ends. These commercials aired when Kobe had only three championship rings and LeBron was still looking for his first with the Cavs.

These commercials perfectly summed up what most of us would think would happen if LeBron and Kobe were roommates: a Young LeBron being excited to be in the playoffs, paired with a cool and calm Kobe acting the veteran he was.

The gags were perfect. There was Kobe subtlety bragging about his three championship rings that LeBron didn’t have at the time.

There was Kobe celebrating his fourth ring that he won that year against the Magic.

And finally, there was the one-on-one game in the apartment.

These commercials featured puppets, but the writing and dialogue made us really feel what it would have been like if the two would have lived together — all using some Pinocchio shit as the device.

The MVPuppets Christmas campaign was the best of the bunch

(I made a poem about this iconic commercial series. Feel free to use the video to follow along.)

During the MVPuppets campaign, there was a Christmas series that featured beef between Santa and Blizten, a rapping reindeer. It was the commercial you never knew you needed until you saw it.

The series starts off with Blitzen (voiced by Lupe Fiasco) talking trash to Santa:

Best line: "The thrill of victory is something that you'll never feel, something elves can't build.” This is a bar.

Which gave us this dope response from Santa (voiced by KRS-ONE):

Best line: “I got every address in the hood, I'll find ya.”

These two fire tracks built up to a highly anticipated showdown: Blitzen and the other reindeer vs. Kobe, LeBron, and Santa.

I remember the first time I watched this commercial. After watching the two commercials that preceded it, I was expecting a competitive game. I wanted Blitzen to break Santa’s ankles or Prancer to block a Kobe layup. Something.

Instead, we remembered that in a world where reindeer can talk, rap, and use the phone, they still got no handles:

How can Blitzen hold the phone but not dribble a ball?

I can think of only three possible reasons.

Reindeer magic Using the same power of levitation to levitate the phone. Years of training.

But this still doesn’t excuse the fact that he can’t dribble the ball. He could easily apply those things that I listed to dribbling a basketball.

Also, why do they say they’re going to play to 10 and then stop the game as soon as LeBron dunks on Blitzen? Is a dunk worth 10 points in the puppet universe?

Apparently, yes. And to be fair, if any dunk is worth 10 points, it’s this one:

I just made up this rule, but it makes sense when you think about it. A play like that means the game is over. Sometimes you just have to leave the court, because deep down you know that nothing will top that play for the day. I can relate.

I have to give a shoutout to Blitzen. It takes some serious antlers to go toe-to-toe in a rap battle with the Gift Wrap God himself and challenge Kobe and LeBron along with it.

This shows why the MVPuppets was one of my favorite commercial campaigns

Why? Because it was cool as hell, funny, and reflected what an awesome time that was in the NBA.

Thanks to the greatness of LeBron and Kobe, the Cavs and Lakers were both No. 1 seeds in the ‘08-’09 season. This was THE YEAR that Kobe and LeBron were supposed to meet in the finals. The stars had finally aligned for them to meet up.

But they didn’t. Stupid Magic. The commercials are still cool, but I know they’d have been more epic with Kobe and LeBron both in the finals.

Pickiness aside, the Christmas ones stand out. They remind you that even in a universe where reindeer can talk, rap battle, and pick up the phone, they still have no handles.

Giving gifts, getting buckets, and dunking on reindeer. That, ladies and gentlemen, is the true meaning of Christmas.