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A VERY pregnant ‘virgin’ Mary told WWN today that she is not too sure what excuse she will give her husband Joseph this time around.

The holy Mary mother of Christ has been married to the unemployed carpenter for many years and has insisted the relationship has been totally platonic from the start.

“It was fine back then when everyone believed in all that craic about angels, but Joe aint gonna fall for that shit again.” she said.

Mary gave birth to the well known prophet Jesus Henry Christ over two thousand years ago and has managed to successfully remain out of the lime-light.

“It’s tough being the mother of God and that. It does have it’s pro’s but it’s mostly a lot of paper work and appearances around the world every few decades.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind moving statues and making them bleed an all but it does get very boring.”

“I don’t really get to say very much, so people tend to just leave me be.”

“Now this happened and I don’t know what to tell Joe.”

Mary realised she was pregnant last week after proving positive in a home pregnancy test which cost €8.99 in boots.

“I was very shocked to say the least.”

“I should have went to Tesco’s, they are way cheaper than Boots and have a better range of products.”

The soon-to-be mother-of-two told WWN that she doesn’t see much hope for her marraige after she breaks the news to her husband about her second ‘Immaculate Conception’.

“Last time it happened all his mates were slagging him for years, saying I was playing around while he was out joining bits of wood together.”

“I managed to convince him in the end but I think he secretly had his suspicions.”

She added laughing: “Theres was nothing Immaculate about this conception I tell ya….hahaha.”

Doctors have confirmed that Mary is due to give birth around mid-late December this year.