Dear Whoever This May Concern,

So I have been living in New York for over a year now. Trying to live out the American dream of finding a job and figuring my life out. Well, I’ve been failing at that. Tremendously. I’m still not working in anything close to my field. I apply to jobs constantly and hear nothing back. Not even for simple administrative work in music companies. That’s just how low I’ve gotten. I apply for jobs that aren’t even in my field just so I at least can do something. Anything but answer phones all day.

I’ve noticed that most men I meet are doing well financially, while the women I know are all struggling to make ends meet. I’m not sure if this is a gender bias or what but it’s extremely disheartening. I’m a very independent woman and I want to be able to make my own money and to be able to take care of myself. Unfortunately, in my life I have never been financially stable. I have no idea what that would even feel like. To be able to save money, but also pay my rent, my loans, my bills. To live closer to the city so my commute isn’t so long. To be able to afford simple things. I don’t want to depend on men for any of these things, and it bothers me when I am out with a man and he says “It’s fine, I got this”. No, you don’t understand. I want to be able to get this. I want to be able to afford simple luxuries in life. But I can’t, because I’m working a dead end, 9-5 job. I make just enough to pay my rent and not much else. I suffer extreme boredom everyday, not to mention how demeaning my job is sometimes, so I try to spend my time learning, improving myself. I learned HTML and CSS just so I could create my own website so I didn’t have to pay someone to do it. I went to a great university, I was on the Dean’s List every semester. I got the highest GPA in my major of my graduating class. I’ve worked for Sony Playstation. I have my name in video game credits. I’m extremely intelligent, hard working and want nothing more than to be a part of something. I want to come to work every day and have something to do. I want to feel important, like a vital asset to a team that without me would not function properly. I want that responsibility. I want to have motivation to do better and get promotions. I want to be able to use the skills I acquired and paid for in college, and things I learned throughout my internships to their full advantage. Or to use them period. Because right now they’re going to waste and it sickens me. Breaks me down sometimes. And yet I still spend time every day looking for new jobs, fixing my resume, adding things to my Linkedin page. Trying to do anything to set myself apart from all the throngs and throngs of kids in my position who frankly feel completely defeated.

The question is, when do I give up on my dream and decide to do something else? The worst part is I spent so much money on my first degree, there’s no way I could go back and get another one in something more practical. I’m stuck to either make it work somehow, get lucky, start praying to god, or just remain an office assistant, waitress, what have you. I am desperate. I am so desperate for a job that will fulfill me. Even those who I know that do have well-paying jobs, they aren’t happy. They’re always looking for improvement. Which begs the question, will any of us ever be happy in our professional lives?

In this world where so many people are lazy and will do anything to get out of working, there are people like me who are begging for work, searching desperately for meaning, for purpose. And yet I feel like it’s the most impossible thing in the world to obtain. I need a glimmer of hope, instead of being so lost in the dark. Is there anybody out there?

Are you hiring?

Best,

Asha