how do I ask someone for a queerplatonic relationship? I absolutely like the idea of it and since I’m ace and sex- and romantic-repulsed it would be perfect because I really love her in a platonic way and I need her. She’s my best friend. I’d love to be in a queerplatonic relationship with her because we could continue like before but know that we are really there for each other and that we are together somehow.



I know that she’s not interested in sex either so it kinda fits … Sometimes (on a daily basis) we make jokes about being married to each other (we’re both 17 and girls though) and she likes to cuddle and when she’s with me (on a movie night or something) she strokes my back. I quite like that (and just that kind of thing. I wouldn’t go further in any way, even kisses are a no go) but I just don’t know how to ask her. Because I just think to much I’m afraid she’s going to reject me. And I don’t know if I could handle that..



so how do I ask her in a subtile and maybe funny way?

Personally, I’m not sure there are any real subtle ways to ask, but you could try bringing up the idea in advance. “Hey, have you heard of these? What do you think?” That way you have a baseline before you actually ask, and will have a better idea of if it’s something she might be interested in.

That being said, it sounds like you have a really really good friend, and the only thing to really do if it’s something you really want is to take that leap of faith. I know how scary taking that jump can be, but know that even if she isn’t interested in the “commitment” of a queerplatonic relationship for some reason, that doesn’t mean you two can’t still be really good friends!

My advice? When you’re ready, tell her what you told us - tell her that your friendship means a lot to you and that while you joke about being married, having her in your life really matters to you. Tell her that she means a lot to you, and that if she’s interested, you’d really like to try being in a queeplatonic relationship. And be clear about what that means to you - that it is a commitment to be there for each other and to be together, but that you aren’t asking for anything else to change.

I wish you the best of luck!

- Di