Washington DC— President Donald Trump, once again, flirted with Easing Capital Gains Taxes on Friday, but this time demanded a signed non-disclosure agreement. Easing Capital Gains Taxes did end up signing the document, but has already secured an attorney, and has directed our questions to the office of Michael Avenatti, Esq.

When reached for comment, Mr. Trump’s personal attorney William S. Consovoy stated, “The President vehemently denies that he ever flirted with Ms. Taxes, that he ever demanded an NDA, and will be filing a counter-suit at the appropriate time in the event Ms. Taxes breaches her non disclosure agreement.”

“We have evidence,” stated Mr. Avenatti, “that not only did the President of the United States breach the public trust and abuse his power by requiring my client to sign an NDA, but he also grabbed her pussy cat, Mr. Snickers.”