Hi Meredith,

I have only ever been romantically involved with two people in my life. There's my husband (we have two children) and my ex-boyfriend, whom I know with 100 percent certainty is my soul mate. We were together for three years when I was in high school. I am now in my late 30s. I broke up with my ex when I met my now-husband in college, a decision I have lived to regret ever since.

My husband doesn't show love at all. He comes home from work, eats, and isolates himself from the rest of the family for hours. He doesn't even come to bed until long after I have fallen asleep. He says he loves me but never shows it. He gets me nothing for holidays. He rarely communicates with me. I know he is not having an affair, but it is so isolating living with him. I try to communicate but he doesn't want to talk.

Two years ago, I ran into my ex (soul mate) and found out he was going through a divorce. He is still in love with me after all these years. I have gone to dinner with him several times to catch up. I disclosed to my husband that I was doing so and he didn't care. We have not had a physical affair but I am 100 percent in love with him. He wants to be with me and I want to be with him because I know my life would be so much happier. He calls me beautiful, texts me all day, writes me love letters, and protects me. I know our relationship would be the end game for me (marriage for life). All of this makes me feel extremely guilty. I don’t want to screw up my kids' life.

When I discuss divorce with my husband, he talks about moving out and staying with friends and doesn't seem to care, which makes me think he wants the same thing. How to I get the courage to make a move to get divorced? How do I pursue happiness without having the constant guilt that I am screwing up everyone's life around me?

– Sad in Mass.