Photo, Square photo | Comments Off on Husband’s celibacy gift disrupts marriage Posted by joelkilpatrick on Nov 15, 2011 in 2011

JACKSON, Miss. — For years, Arlene Maxwell insisted that her husband Mike take the spiritual gifts class at their church.

“I probably badgered him about it,” she says. “He didn’t much care, but I felt we should pursue our gifts as a couple.”

Mike finally gave in and at the day-long spiritual gifts assessment course discovered that he has the spiritual gift of celibacy, as mentioned in 1 Corinthians 7:7.

“It was awesome to discover that I actually have a gift,” says the father of four, who is very much attracted to his wife but says he now realizes he has the special ability of abstaining. “I can’t believe I stayed in ignorance this long. What a relief to know what my spiritual gift is.”

Mike came home that night and announced that he would begin practicing his gift immediately by sleeping in a separate bedroom.

“We’ve got plenty of kids,” he says. “It’s time to step into my calling.”

In lieu of marital intimacy, he will devote himself to prayer, projects around the house and volunteering in the men’s ministry.

Arlene has gone through many emotions, including perplexity and anger at the turn of events.

“Part of me wishes he’d never taken the class,” she says. “Serves me right for pushing him into it.”

Counseling has not produced a workable solution.

“For years I’ve supported Arlene in her gifts of compassion and hospitality, even though I don’t like having people in the house,” says Mike. “Now she doesn’t like my gift — what should I do, walk away from the Holy Spirit on this one? I don’t think so.”

Arlene is lobbying for a compromise of “once or twice a month” lest she fall into her own sin. Until then, Mike is enjoying his new life in the guest room.

“The Apostle Paul wrote that ‘the time is short, so from now on even those who have wives should be as though they had none,’” says Mike. “I am blessed to have the special grace to live that out. Celibacy — what a precious gift from God.” •