September 28, 2015

You’ve seen them all. “Quiz: Did Donald Trump say this Outrageous quote or no?” (Washington Post) “Trump or Colbert” (US Magazine) “Who said it: Donald Trump or Lucille Bluth?” (Buzzfeed) Well, put your thinking caps back on, because we have one more coming your way.

With all the media attention dedicated to Donald Trump’s recent antics, we’ve decided to get one step ahead of the internet hive-mind and make the inevitable connection to one of the greatest sources of evil in human history, literally Adolf Hitler!

To that end, it’s time for the ultimate challenge: Who said it, Donald Trump or Literally Hitler? Test your knowledge of current events by correctly picking who said each of these zany remarks: the real estate mogul and star of The Apprentice who is currently the Republican front-runner for the presidential nomination, or literally the führer of the Thousand-Year Reich! Remember, all of these quotes are 100% genuine and not made up for comedic effect. Even though we wish it were otherwise.

“The concept of global warming was created by and for the Chinese in order to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive.”

“I will be the greatest jobs president that God ever created.” “Wir sind uns im klaren, daß dieser Krieg ja nur damit enden könnte, daß entweder die germanischen Völker ausgerottet werden, oder das Judentum aus Europa verschwindet.” “I will build a great wall — and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me —and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.” “Der Jude aber wird nicht die europäischen Völker ausrotten, sondern er wird das Opfer seines eigenen Anschlages sein.” “Wir dürfen nie vergessen die Pflicht, die wir auf uns genommen haben.” “When was the last time anybody saw us beating, let’s say, China in a trade deal? They kill us. I beat China all the time. All the time.” “Wenn es dem internationalen Finanzjudentum in und außerhalb Europas gelingen sollte, die Völker noch einmal in einen Weltkrieg zu stürzen, dann wird das Ergebnis nicht der Sieg des Judentums sein, sondern die Vernichtung der jüdischen Rasse in Europa!” “Gab es denn da einen Unrat, eine Schamlosigkeit in irgendeiner Form, vor allem des kulturellen Lebens, an der nicht wenigstens ein Jude beteiligt gewesen wäre?” “The wall will go up and Mexico will start behaving.”

Answers: 1: Trump. 2: Trump. 3: Literally Hitler! 4. Trump. 5: Literally Hitler! 6: Literally Hitler! 7: Trump. 8: Literally Hitler! 9: Literally Hitler! 10: Trump.

–LP ’17