A BREXIT voter has explained that actually, far from Britain owing the EU £50 billion, they will pay that exact sum to us.

Martin Bishop of Ludlow told colleagues that the rumoured £50 billion exit bill is nothing more than a bluff from European officials hoping to reduce the vast debt of honour they owe the UK.

He continued: “Really we deserve far more, but we’re being lenient. That’s our trouble as a country. Too kind-hearted.

“But when you consider we got Europe up and running, gave it civilisation, didn’t interfere when they wanted all their own languages despite the inconvenience to us then saved them in not one but two world wars, they’re getting a bargain.

“That’s a £780 bonus for every man, woman and child in the country, which we didn’t even mention in the referendum because we didn’t need to bribe Britain to do the right thing.”

Bishop added: “Ten years? All the trade deals are already done, mate. Didn’t take ten minutes.

“We will let them stay in the single market. We’re just making them sweat a bit.”