Britain's justice secretary wants to ban miniature cellphones in a hapless effort to be seen to be doing something about prison smuggling. The "Beat the Boss" handsets (Amazon) are barely the size of lipstick or a stick of gum. They're unlocked, dirt cheap, popular with kids, and easily concealed.

They are marketed as being virtually metal-free and therefore able to beat the detectors anyone entering a prison must pass through. "It's pretty clear that these miniature phones are being advertised and sold with the purpose of being smuggled," Mr Lidington will say in a speech on Monday. "I am calling on online retailers and trading websites to take down products that are advertised to evade detection measures in prisons."

Looking at the specs, these are 2G GSM handsets and will only work in the U.S. on T-Mobile and (maaaaybe) AT&T.

"IT REALLY WORKS BUT DIFFICULT TO USE BECAUSE IT IS SO SMALL ❗️❗️❗️," writes verified purchaser Bill Hubner, who I stress is merely an Amazon customer and absolutely not suspected of any clever jailhouse shenanigans.

There are several sellers offering this gadget, all obviously identical.

eBay UK promised to stop sales of these months ago, according to the BBC, but the site remains well-stocked at press time.

Beat the Boss Phone [Amazon]