If there were an Oscar for the most boring awards event ever, it would go to The Oscars.

The star-powered moments this year were few and far between, which was a shame given the strong start. Steve Martin and Chris Rock tag-teamed a sharp, funny monologue that mocked attendee Jeff Bezos — “So rich that he got divorced and he’s still the richest man in the world,” Rock cracked — the lack of diversity among nominees, and why the telecast was once again without a host: Twitter.

And Brad Pitt’s win at the outset was a great Hollywood moment, long-awaited and executed with humility and élan — save for a leaden joke about impeachment and John Bolton. Pitt humbly recalled his parents taking him to see “Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid,” and, years later, loading up his car as a young twentysomething to chase his dreams in L.A.

“‘Once Upon a Time in Hollywood’ . . .” he said. “Ain’t that the truth.” He concluded by thanking his children, which doubled as a parting salvo to tabloid rumors about his investment in their lives: “I adore you.”

Then the broadcast nose-dived. The next star to take the stage? Beanie Feldstein, there to introduce presenter Mindy Kaling, and those two, in turn, were followed by luminaries such as Josh Gad, Kelly Marie Tran, Shia LaBeouf, and the teeth-grinding duo of James Corden and Rebel Wilson, dressed as their characters from the colossal bomb “Cats,” treating the microphone stand as a scratching post.

Academy, we beg you: Bring us Ricky Gervais!

Also: Where was the star power? There’s nothing special about seeing “SNL” stars flail about while presenting, or watching the expected but cringeworthy virtue-signaling — as when the camera was sure to linger on a chorus member in a wheelchair during a performance of nominated song “I’m Standing with You” — or the umpteenth close-up of Disney chief Bob Iger, who may control the careers of almost everyone in the room but is unrecognizable to the average American.

The mid-show emergence of an unrecognizable Eminem performing “Lose Yourself” gave the room and the telecast a much-need jolt, but it was unclear why he was there. He won an Oscar for the song, from his biopic “8 Mile,” back in 2003.

The most likely explanation? The producers realized they badly needed some excitement, no matter how out-of-date. Yet the performance aired with audio problems and so many bleeps that for those of us watching, momentum suffered.

“In this day and age, can the Oscars make us care?” This was recently asked by industry site The Wrap, and to judge by reader comments, the answer was a resounding no.

“#NoOneCares,” wrote one.

“We in flyover country are done with them,” wrote another.

To wit: Joaquin Phoenix won for Best Actor and used his speech to inveigh against “artificially inseminat[ing] a cow” and then putting her milk “in our coffee and our cereal.”

Renée Zellweger won for Best Actress and gave a rambling speech that took a thinly-veiled swipe at President Trump.

And to present Best Picture, none other than political lightning rod Jane Fonda. The only surprise of the evening, in fact, was this award going not to the expected “Once Upon a Time . . . in Hollywood,” but to “Parasite,” a foreign-language thriller about economic inequality that ends in bloodshed.

A reflection of Hollywood’s greatest fears, no doubt — but they should add our increasingly waning interest in this annual puffery, bloviating and self-congratulation to this list.