The origins of same-sex attractions are not fully understood, and many people who experience such feelings do not choose or want them. There has been much debate over the question of nature versus nurture, but scientists have been unable to find a genetic cause for homosexuality. Dr. Dean Hamer (who coined the phrase ‘‘gay gene’’ ) said, ‘‘We have not found the gene—which we don’t think exists—for sexual orientation.’’[1] Another study concluded, ‘‘Critical review shows the evidence favoring a biologic (genetic) theory to be lacking.’’[2] Although genetic factors might play a role in sexual attractions, we know that it is an overstatement to say that their genes cause people to be ‘‘born gay.’’ After all, identical twins share the same genes, but do not always share the same sexual attractions. Furthermore, if some men and women are ‘‘born homosexual,’’ why do their reproductive systems compliment the opposite sex? The mystery that science seeks to explain is why their bodies are oriented one way, while their desires point them in the opposite direction.

There may be genetic factors that have yet to be discovered, but this is beside the point, according to one columnist on a homosexual advocacy Web site. In his article ‘‘Nature? Nurture? It Doesn’t Matter,’’ he explained the origin of homosexual attractions:

“We discover them; we do not invent them. So we must be born this way, right? Wrong. For several reasons. No one is born with romantic feelings, much less engaging in sexual conduct. That comes later. . . . The fact is that there are plenty of genetically influenced traits that are nevertheless undesirable. Alcoholism may have a genetic basis, but it doesn’t follow that alcoholics ought to drink excessively. Some people may have a genetic predisposition to violence, but they have no more right to attack their neighbors than anyone else. Persons with such tendencies cannot say ‘‘God made me this way’’ as an excuse for acting on their dispositions. . . . We do not determine whether a trait is good by looking at where it came from (genetics, environment, or something else). . . . Remember: bad arguments in favor of a good cause are still bad arguments—and in the long run not very good for the cause.”[3]

Even this gentleman, who sees nothing wrong with embracing the homosexual lifestyle, recognizes that we can’t merely look to genetic or even environmental factors in order to approve or condemn human behaviors.

He’s right. If homosexual attractions have their origin in biological or environmental factors, then those things should be studied for their own sake, not for the sake of making ethical judgments based upon them. Some people who identify themselves as gay or lesbian are offended by the idea that their attractions might have been influenced by their upbringing or life-experiences. But these things influence all of us, and even if people’s unchosen attractions were not shaped by their past in any way, their past may have shaped the sexual behavior they did choose.

Many psychologists believe that the development of homosexual desires is sometimes rooted in an individual’s upbringing.[4 ] Here are some ways in which this could be the case:

One: Sometimes the person experienced sexual abuse. Certainly not everyone who suffers sexual abuse develops homosexual attractions, and not everyone who has homosexual attractions was abused. But if a man abuses a girl, she may subconsciously think, ‘‘Men must all be like you, and no man will do that to me! I don’t want to be hurt that way again.’’ At times, homosexual relationships become a shield for the heart and a sort of haven to escape the hurt of abusive relationships. It is understandable that a person hurt in the past would want to avoid future relationships that cause pain—and pain may be all a person knows of the opposite sex. Also, children who are sexually abused by a member of the same sex can become confused about their sexual orientation.

Those who experience same-sex attractions should not dismiss this connection simply because they have not experienced it themselves. I recall having a long and friendly conversation with a teenage girl and her girlfriend. Over the course of our discussion, she mentioned that she used to date guys. I asked her if anything particular made her lose interest in them. She replied, ‘‘No, I was born lesbian.’’ Sensing some hesitation on her part, I asked, ‘‘Are you sure? Nothing turned you off from guys?’’ She quietly answered, ‘‘I was raped four times, if that’s what you mean.’’ Who could blame this young woman for being repulsed by men and finding greater security in the companionship of another female? The purpose of recognizing a connection between sexual abuse and homosexual attractions or behavior is not to condemn the person but to assist him or her in healing the original wound instead of running from it.