Donald Trump’s nomination of White House physician Ronny Jackson to become Secretary of Veterans Affairs did not go well; as a general rule, a Cabinet nomination is considered a “flop” when the phrase “drunkenly wrecked a government vehicle” starts getting thrown around. (Jackson has withdrawn himself from consideration but denied wrecking any vehicles.) Now the rumor is that Trump will nominate former Homeland Security director and current chief of staff John Kelly for the role. From Vanity Fair:

According to sources familiar with the situation, White House officials and Trump confidantes are currently discussing the possibility of moving Kelly to head the Department of Veterans Affairs. These people say that the collapse of Rear Adm. Ronny Jackson’s nomination has created an opening for Trump to slide Kelly into the role. It would give Kelly a soft landing, while also having the benefit of putting a qualified official in charge of the sprawling department.

Ronny Jackson was nominated shortly after having conducted Trump’s physical. John Kelly’s job is basically to follow Trump around so he can snatch printed-out conspiracy-site articles about how Hillary invented AIDS out of his hands before he tweets about them. Does Donald Trump realize that he can nominate people to the Cabinet who weren’t just standing in front of him?

Here’s a list of other potential Trump administration VA nominees that I’ve developed from … sources:

• The retired owner of a Chrysler dealership who has the table next to Trump at Mar-a-Lago

• New York Times reporter Maggie Haberman

• Frank (White House security guard)

• A painting of Millard Fillmore

• A television

The only person we can be certain he’s not going to nominate is Melania, am I right? (Because she probably isn’t spending much time with him at the moment.) (Because of the alleged affairs with pornographic actresses and topless models.)