munchies.vice.com – The last time I cracked open a fortune cookie, my fortune said something weak about optimism and taught me the Chinese characters for zebra, which immediately passed all six trigonometric functions on the list of information I will never use. Meanwhile, when Ronnie Martin pulled a slip of paper out of his own fortune cookie, it helped him win a million bucks.

Martin, who is from Long Pond, Pennsylvania, bought three Mega Millions tickets on his way to work last week and, as always, he played the ‘lucky numbers’ he’d gotten from a fortune cookie several years ago. He pocketed his tickets until the next day, when he stopped back into the gas station to scan them. After he swiped one ticket, the display screen on the scanner said “See Cashier,” so he walked to the counter to see if there was something wrong with the machine.

According to a press release from the New Jersey Lottery, the cashier, identified only as Gary, scanned the ticket, and showed Martin the display [on the register] that read “$1,000,000.” Martin—who managed to stay calm while holding an oversized yellow check written for one million dollars—said that he and his wife will use the money to pay off their house and pay some bills before putting the rest in the bank. Martin’s lucky numbers were 1, 2, 4, 19, and 29, and the odds of his win were about 12.6 to 1 (which are still better than the odds I’ll ever need to write the word zebra in Chinese).

Martin isn’t the first person to cash in thanks to the psychic abilities of a cellophane wrapped cookie. In August, a Vancouver man found three fortunes inside one cookie, and two of them said “Buy a ticket. All of your financial troubles will soon be solved.” He did, and they were: He won $125,000 in the lottery that night. “Who knew my day would be turned upside down by the message on a fortune cookie?” he toldWashington’s Lottery officials.

Live look at me heading to the Chinese food spot and asking for ALL of their fortune cookies…

I’m no hater but got damnit I’m sick and tired of these people winning the big bucks so close to me!