Ocasio-Cortez Proposes Tuition-Free School For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too

WASHINGTON, D.C.—After learning that many kids have trouble affording good schools, Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez unveiled her plans for a new, taxpayer-funded Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez School For Children Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too.

The school will be tuition-free but you will have to pay a tax to get in. Ocasio-Cortez says the school will allow less fortunate children to learn a lot of topics, such as doing economics good, doing reading good, and learning how to math good. It will, of course, have a gender studies program, but that will mostly just be like a boxing class where you punch white men.

Ocasio-Cortez was reportedly upset at the size of the school when she was shown a model of her idea. "What is this---a center for ants? A center for the little people in the cheap seats?" she said. "How are the kids supposed to learn how to become socialists when they can't even fit inside the building?" She quickly blamed the size of the school on patriarchy and white supremacy.

Her aides assured her that "it's only a model."

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. Get FREE Access *with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee