OREM, UT – Utah Vivint University’s Professional Sales Program Midterm Exam Leaked

It only took a few days after the announcement of the VIVINT™-funded Professional Sales Program before the pilot-program’s midterm exam was leaked to the public. The source of the leak, Dolly Dennings — the front desk employee of a spray tan establishment — claims this was not whistleblower work of a program insider, but rather a guinea-pig student’s attempt to use the document as collateral for a yearlong spray tan membership; that 10.5/15 in anything is a currency-backed type of score left the source and this correspondent flabbergasted.

In addition to rigorous exams and classwork, the program will also feature a compulsory 3 month summer internship, in which participants will be “paid” in experience and van fumes, a cheap alternative to today’s costly designer drugs. The inevitable comparisons to the Missionary Training Center in nearby Provo have shown up on Twitter already.

There is no word yet on when UVU will add the color orange to its institutional branding and logos.