“Titanic.” “All About Eve.” “La La Land”?

Proving yet again that Oscar voters are primarily interested in movies that celebrate the industry all Oscar voters work in, the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences embarrassed itself by giving a record-tying 14 nominations to “La La Land,” a fond but so-so pastiche of great musicals that is now inexplicably keeping company with some of Hollywood’s greatest films.

“La La Land” got more nominations than “Gone with the Wind,” “Casablanca,” “The Godfather,” “Schindler’s List,” “Return of the King,” “Ben-Hur”. . . I could go on for quite a while because “La La Land” got more nominations than any film ever made, except for those two I mentioned up top.

Plagued by mediocre songs, a kewpie-doll lead performance by Emma Stone, a flat one by Ryan Gosling and the nonstop sensation that every idea the film has was better executed in the movies it’s imitating, “La La Land” isn’t nearly the best picture of this year, much less one of the all-time greats.

“La La Land” got two more nominations than “My Fair Lady,” three more nominations than “West Side Story,” four more nominations than “The Sound of Music,” six more nominations than “An American in Paris,” 10 more nominations than “The Band Wagon” and 12 more nominations than “Singin’ in the Rain,” which wasn’t even nominated for Best Picture.

That last movie, dubbed by the American Film Institute the greatest musical ever made, was about making movies. In 1952, that didn’t impress Oscar voters much. These days, it’s the main thing Oscar voters are interested in. If “La La Land” wins Best Picture, it’ll be the fourth time in six years that the academy gave its top honor to a movie about The Magic of the Movies (TM).

I realize Oscar night is all about an industry inviting us to adore it while it adores itself, but let’s cut out the nonsense. From now on, every winner has to give the same speech: “I love me! I really, really love me!” It’ll be more honest, and we’ll all get to bed by 10 o’clock.