Personally, I’m partial to a bit of ghosting.

It avoids the ‘here are all the things I don’t like about you’ breakup chat, it’s a time-saver, and you get a great anecdote to share with all your mates who think Tinder sounds ‘fun’.

But it can be a real kick in the heart. Getting ghosted when you’re truly not expecting it is a pretty sh*t experience.

Thankfully, there are ways to protect your sweet, vulnerable self from the horror of being ghosted. The key is knowing the profile of a ghoster inside and out, spotting the warning signs, and holding back your most sensitive bits (I mean emotional bits. Have sex whenever you want) until you’re sure that you’re not chatting to someone who’s about to disappear off the face of the planet.




Helping us along in our mission to find out everything there is to know about ghosting is some new research from dating app the League.

According to their data, there’s a prime window when ghosting is most likely to occur – indicating that if it hasn’t happened at this point, you’re likely to escape being ghosted and either continue dating or get dumped in a responsible, emotionally sensitive manner. Lovely.

The ghosting window is five days after initially matching.

The League found that when people ghosted on the app, 90% of the time it was within five days of matching.

Now, of course, this type of ghosting is quite specific to The League, a dating app. The five day window doesn’t apply in real-life dating, as the timings are a little different. When you match online, you tend to chat every day after the initial right swipe, whereas real-life dating is more spaced out.

Some might argue, in fact, that ghosting after five days chatting on a dating app isn’t really ghosting, as you don’t really owe someone a breakup if you’ve only chatting for a few days.

But really, it’s all about the intensity. If you’ve exchanged a few heys and byes before they disappear without a trace, it’s not really an issue. If you’ve had a whirlwind messaging romance and then they ditch you five days in, that’s a bit rubbish.

(Picture: Ella Byworth for Metro.co.uk)

Regardless, the average online dating ghosting window is handy to know – and can inform your behaviour in the early days of dating.

If you’re in the first five days of chatting, it might be wise to hold back on dreaming of your wedding, so you’re not crushed if they ghost you during this time.

If you’re still messaging after five days, the likelihood that you’re going to be ghosted has dropped, so you can relax a little and let your guard down.

The League also found that you have a greater chance of being ghosted if you send messages including ‘Hey gorgeous’, ‘whatssup’, and ‘hey, how are you?’ So maybe avoid those.*



*Especially ‘whatssup’, you monster.

Some other useful ghosting data The League has shared with us: 40 year olds are the most likely to ghost, while 20 year olds are the least likely to ghost, men are more likely to ghost than women (the average rate of ghosting is 22% for men, 17% for women), and investment bankers are more likely to ghost than those who work in oil and energy.

The League advises dealing the tricky world of dating by making sure to recognise the wind down (are you always the one picking back up the conversation? If it’s not balanced, they’re more likely to ghost), and make sure not to take things to personally.

The key is to take things slow, not get too invested too fast, and when ghosting happens, accept that this person clearly wasn’t for you.

Oh, and if they zombie, ditch them. It’s much too frustrating to deal with, and it’ll only end with your braaaaains being consumed (with doubt and self-loathing).

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