#133 +( 1668 )- [X] <Bobby20> I had this really weird dream once that I dropped my penis in the shower and I couldn't get it to go back on #223 +( 745 )- [X] <[azn]> i am valid victorian #345 +( 1844 )- [X] (@X2-down) this is mark eg, he hugged me and creamed in my ear

(@X2-down) er screamed #3186 +( 315 )- [X] (Sarojin) Haha nice, I got referred to the Jews for the Preservation of Firearms Ownership by askjeeves.com, and the banner on the top said across it "WHY PAY RETAIL!?" #3685 +( 164 )- [X] <bytraper> i would have charged data for it, but i felt sorry because he had boobs #4877 +( 480 )- [X] <cade> zzz, you wanna kill yourself or something?

<zZz-> cade, I've attempted so many times and failed, it's not even funny..

<zZz-> Accually, it is kinda funny. #5378 +( 48 )- [X] <offwYtE> noWay man, tha tis a wikked statement

<offwYtE> well i thought it was

<offwYtE> maybe not sure what it means now #5791 +( 74 )- [X] (skankman) apparently i have tasty jizz

(skankman) i heard paper crumpling in the hallway

(skankman) and i went to check it out

(skankman) and my dog was licking a piece of paper with my jizz on it #7124 +( 170 )- [X] <Chum> I told them I was a 16 year old female that would put out if given a beta account.

<da_slog> NOOOOOOOOOOOO

<Kash> yea, i'm going to be female to #7989 +( 289 )- [X] <br4dh4x0r> if you r 1337, show me your gibson

<br4dh4x0r> wait, that sounds wrong #9683 +( 859 )- [X] <Brainded> can anyone help me with a ppp problem?

<mustang> you have a stutter and you're trying to urinate ? #29945 +( 540 )- [X] <dodee> you want hard, ask glc to send you some of his grannies in nipple clamps shitting on japanese girls that are eating vomit while haveing 50 guys nut on them

<CreePy> dodee: I have that one, it sucked. The one with vultures eating the girl's liver while a leopard raped her was cool tho.

<dodee> jesus christ #36584 +( 41 )- [X] <RexExitium> "I miss you, Luke."

<RexExitium> "I miss you too, Amidala."

<Tenek> luke?

<LordChaos-AFK> lol

<Relnereth> Luke and amidala?

<RexExitium> "I love you very much, Amidala. I cannot live without you. Not one second. Not one second."

<Tenek> Anakin, Rex.

<Sir_silver> HOO HA

<Relnereth> incest!!

<RexExitium> "I feel the same way about you, Anakin."

<RexExitium> haha oops. #42327 +( 50 )- [X] <[Lemmy]> hey btw where r u?

<Massive_Potato> virginia

<[Lemmy]> aww... after all that bash.org stuff I first read that as 'vagina' #47717 +( 349 )- [X] < zocor> anyone wanna watch a guy jerk off on cam

< zocor> oh shit... wrong channel :/

< zocor> IGNORE THAT PLEASE' #51234 +( 428 )- [X] *** Martin has joined #Lostones

<Martin> word

<roy> indeed

<roy> but the question is

<roy> WHICH word?

<roy> her word?

<roy> My word?

<roy> HIS WORD?

<roy> it all depends...

<roy> on whose word.

*** Martin has quit IRC #51669 +( 2022 )- [X] <BlackHawk> LULU: I don't know why you wear a bra; you've got no titties

<LULU> You wear pants don't you? #58051 +( 159 )- [X] <Maltagal> hi

<Ace> sup

<Maltagal> r u over 40

<Ace> haha no

<Maltagal> well i was going to see what u r like b/c my mum is single #63077 +( 175 )- [X] <mindstorms> i do what i please and i please who i do. #63248 +( 322 )- [X] <[33rd-A]Ruger> i've actually considered assassination in order to get a girl

<Logic_BomB> your into necrophilia too eh? #72225 +( 231 )- [X] <koitsu> you know you're doomed when a COMPUTER matches you up with a she-male. #76899 +( 167 )- [X] <iconc1ast> my rhymes are fatter than the average irc girl #77904 +( 11751 )- [X] <Sui88> 67% of girls are stupid

<V-girl> i belong with the other 13% #79881 +( 123 )- [X] * Lolita_ (ask@sg-14926.mweb.co.za) has joined #12-15yrz

<Lolita_> hello is everyone from 12 to 15? #81299 +( 807 )- [X] <mefod> WHY DOESNT ANYONE BELIEVE ME?! IM IN IRAQ DAMNIT!

<mefod> ooh shit

<mefod> afk, war #81885 +( 29 )- [X] <[c4]> linux owns all

<[c4]> i need xp cdkey...lol

<seph429> HYPICRITE #83663 +( 123 )- [X] <Tw1zt1d> I need to do some DDR practice >;\

<Minion> WTF? I always thought DDR was Double Date Rape #93834 +( 1063 )- [X] <GPF> i have your ip i will get my friend to hack you ahahahahah

<CommanderStab> Muahaha you have fallen into my evil trap, do you know what IP stands for?!

<CommanderStab> I stands for "Internet Police" and if you try to hack into it you will be arrested by the Internet Police!!!

<GPF> thats not true

<GPF> is it??

<GPF> shit i better tell my friend not to hack into the other ips i gave him

-!- GPF gpf@vw-18934.iinet.net.au has left #lobby

<CommanderStab> Stupidity - the ONLY effective anti-hacker method.

<tryon> lol #123731 +( 307 )- [X] <@n3u> anyone here who like to scan my ports?

<@n3u> :)

<+MrX> is that a sly way of asking for cyber sex? #134503 +( 267 )- [X] (Calren): question: if I get three female friends saying they like me int he space of 3 minutes, does this mean the end of the world is here?

(@Zaphod): Calren - it means some fucker let the guide dogs off their leashes again at the blind school #145594 +( 592 )- [X] Drewtetz: you may be dropping rhymes, but I've tapped the zeitgeist, I smack you so hard your mom told me to "Play nice!"

Jon: drew.

Jon: you just rhymed "zeitgeist."

Jon: WTF?! #162007 +( 242 )- [X] <NekkidRisu> Oh wow

<Snakerboy> what?

<NekkidRisu> That's the first time I've fully shaved my nutsack, and by fucking god does it feel so cool.

<NekkidRisu> Err

<NekkidRisu> Shit

<NekkidRisu> You shouldn't have seen that. Just like, imagine it's not there or something #247843 +( 374 )- [X] * Joins: kcar181-

<kcar181-> baah

<kcar181-> My HDD drive is dead

<@matt1frek> dead?

<kcar181-> dead

<kcar181-> like the bios says "Where the fuck did your HDD go?" #269099 +( 1414 )- [X] <p2p> I was reading some thing this morning about a new condom with a built-in vibrator

<shxrobert> oh great the rubber that makes you come as you put the fucker on

<p2p> the downside is you have to shove the AA battery up your ass

<Gollie> downside? #280934 +( 728 )- [X] Lord High Rikonian:: then they are not truly letting me "have it my way"

Lord High Rikonian:: Because I want my whopper served to me on the stomach of a nubile quivering 19 year old's belly

Lord High Rikonian:: and I want her vagina filled with ketchup for dipping the fries

Lord High Rikonian:: but will Burger King do that? Nooooooooo

Lord High Rikonian:: fucking false advertisements

anastas:: ummm. Rik... that was nasty

Lord High Rikonian:: I know

Lord High Rikonian:: if a company says you can have it your way...

Lord High Rikonian:: then they should let you have it your way

Zerebus:: .....they obviously weren't referring to Lord High Rikonian.

Lord High Rikonian:: well obviously

Lord High Rikonian:: why must I be persecuted so by corporate America?

Zerebus:: because you're one sick bastard #309208 +( 437 )- [X] <fetus> Hooters- "Chicken tastes better with a boner." #374798 +( 426 )- [X] <Outsyder> they fell for the "look gulliable isn't in the dictionary!"

<Outsyder> and they tried to find it

<Outsyder> but they couldn't spell it #377606 +( 1812 )- [X] <Mild> a choose your own adventure hamlet would be nice too

<Mild> To be, turn to page 73. #428688 +( 843 )- [X] Arteryman92089: does Wyoming have a baseball team?

MoocluckRULES: wait, people live in wyoming?

Arteryman92089: thats the thing. im not sure #449764 +( 1124 )- [X] TRAICOVN: so what is your address?

NightEyes: One moment

NightEyes: 68.35.199.208

TRAICOVN: ummmm

TRAICOVN: no, your real address....

TRAICOVN: like, where you live.

NightEyes: That is my real IP address!

TRAICOVN: 911 address.

NightEyes: I don't have local phone service

TRAICOVN: right.

TRAICOVN: but you have a house

TRAICOVN: that you live in

NightEyes: Oh, where I live?

TRAICOVN: if the RIAA subpoenaed you, what would be the address they would arrive at.

TRAICOVN: Right. #515496 +( 1636 )- [X] <Knighted_> goddammit

<Knighted_> why can't anything i think of turn out right?

<Knighted_> listerine + foot odour smells worse than just feet, and now my shoes are technically flammable #606922 +( 277 )- [X] <ColdGhost> i was just sexually harassed by some old grandma

<ColdGhost> i was walkin into my office and some older woman like 60 who works in other office, well she was walkin with me and talking and i was like "sorry my voice is bad today, really rhaspy and low, not sure why" and shes like "well its sexy"

<posaway> i have 2 words for u

<posaway> "no teeth" #651418 +( 278 )- [X] <Hroth> http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8795795223394289910

<Hroth> bush's family supported the nazi's

<videogameaholic> you know who didn't support the nazi's? jews. look what happened to them. #681183 +( 2337 )- [X] Ron34: Why havent you been in school?

Joe: because its summer vacation?

Ron34: its sept 13

Ron34: school started the 5th

Joe: WTF

Joe: ITS SEPTEMBER? #681240 +( 404 )- [X] <Farcaller> to get spare parts disassemble/assemble some device

<Farcaller> repeat until you get enough spare parts #737263 +( 1080 )- [X] <Zenji> My brother who hasnt talked to my Dad in like a year or so got a chick pregnant.

<Zenji> He notified my Dad by sending him a "Worlds Number 1 Grandfather" card. #746975 +( 437 )- [X] <ricebowl> lingerie is one of the few items where you expect to pay more for less #757657 +( 982 )- [X] <recursive> If being an idiot was illegal, it would probably be easier to keep the criminals outside the jails and use them as fortresses. #832450 +( 396 )- [X] Rayo :: My friend Lupe is the Santa at the Mall.

dissolve/decay :: wait, what happened?

Rayo :: He owed me money.

Rayo :: So I waited in line today with all the kids.

Rayo :: and told him to pay up in front of all the children, "kids. Santa owes me 40"

"....come on Greg...wheres your Christmas Spirit?"

"Do you want these kids to think Santa is a cheapskate?" #928168 +( 267 )- [X] <Xnoia> I chose to believe that argument drove him to drinking.

<Xnoia> And I chose to claim that a victory.

<@RWolf> And you chose to speak in past tense.

<Xnoia> I do.

<@RWolf> did.

<Xnoia> Damn it!