A hip-hoppin’ Michigan judge launched into a wild, rhyming rap from the bench as she tossed out a slander suit against Eminem.

In a verdict delivered last Friday, Macomb County Circuit Court Judge Deborah Servitto ruled the rap superstar didn’t damage DeAngelo Bailey by claiming in a song that Bailey beat him up and harassed him in elementary school.

And while it wouldn’t have made the cut on MTV, Servitto’s performance was pretty cool for a court of law.

She rapped:

“The lyrics are stories no one would take as fact. They’re an exaggeration of a childish act.

“Any reasonable person could clearly see that the lyrics could only be hyperbole.”

Servitto says she wrote the verdict in rap so it could be read in “a universally understandable format.”

Bailey had sued the Grammy-winning star over the lyrics in the song “Brain Damage” from the smash record “The Slim Shady LP.”

The tune included the lines:

“I was harassed daily by this fat kid named DeAngelo Bailey.

“An eighth-grader who acted obnoxious, cause his father boxes.

“So every day, he’d shove me in the lockers.”

Aides to the jive judge said it was completely her idea to write a legal rap. But she got help on the lyrics from two younger assistants in the law library. But don’t ask Servitto to put her first foray into hip-hop to music – her lips are now sealed because of a possible appeal that might be filed.

As Eminem got the happy news that he’s not guilty of slander, his ex-wife is in hot water.

A judge yesterday issued a bench warrant for Kim Mathers after she missed two court appearances in a cocaine-possession case.

Kim is accused of possessing up to 25 grams of cocaine, driving with a suspended license and unsafe driving near a stopped emergency vehicle. She was expected to stand trial next month.

The 28-year-old – who’s been chronicled, not always favorably, in Eminem’s music – failed to appear Monday at her arraignment in Macomb County Circuit Court.

The judge gave her until yesterday to appear, but she failed to show up, prompting him to issue a bench warrant.

She’s been free on bond since her June 10 arrest.

JUSTICE GETS JIGGY

Excerpts from Macomb County Circuit Judge Deborah Servitto’s rap in Deangelo Bailey v. Marshall Mathers III (Eminem’s birth name):

Mr. Bailey complains that his rep is trash

So he’s seeking compensation in the form of cash.

Bailey thinks he’s entitled to some monetary gain

Because Eminem used his name in vain.

Eminem says Bailey used to throw him around

Beat him up in the john, shoved his face in the ground.

Eminem contends that his rap is protected

By the rights guaranteed by the First Amendment.

Eminem maintains that the story is true

And that Bailey beat him black and blue.

In the alternative he states that the story is phony

And a reasonable person would think it’s baloney.

The court must always balance the rights

Of a defendant and one placed in a false light.

If the plaintiff presents no question of fact

To dismiss is the only acceptable act.

If the language used is anything but pleasin’

It must be highly objectionable to a person of reason.

Even if objectionable and causing offense

Self-help is the first line of defense.

Yet when Bailey actually spoke to the press what do you think he didn’t address?

Those false-light charges that so disturbed

Prompted from Bailey not a single word.

So highly objectionable, it could not be – Bailey was happy to hear his name on a CD.

Bailey also admitted he was a bully in youth

Which makes what Marshall said substantial truth.

This doctrine is a defense well known And renders Bailey’s case substantially blown.

The lyrics are stories no one would take as fact

They’re an exaggeration of a childish act.

Any reasonable person could clearly see

That the lyrics could only be hyperbole.

It is therefore this court’s ultimate position

That Eminem is entitled to summary disposition.