Adam first spotted The Real Texas last year, but – to be perfectly honest – I hadn’t heard of it until very, very recently. Conveniently, however, it’s now officially buyable, playable, and possibly edible, so take that, Past Adam. Current Adam is way cooler than you anyway. At any rate, this is exciting news! For those in need of a refresher, The Real Texas looks like the silliest thing, stuffing Zelda-esque dungeon-crawling, Ultima-style progression, and heaping ten-gallon-hat-loads of whimsy into a vision of Texas that’s described as “a Kafka-esque parody stuck halfway between modern-day America and olden-days, RPG England.” Given that I grew up in Texas and learned all my childhood life lessons from RPGs set in olden-days RPG England, uh, sold. Sold forever.



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In addition to all the dungeon-crawling and stuff-collecting, there’s gunfight combat that seems a bit Robotron-esque – only you can’t aim while moving. Unsurprisingly, Kitty Lambda notes that it ends up “pretty challenging in places,” with smart use of a varied arsenal turning the tide just as much as quick-drawing and any related McGrawing. Also, this bit sounds potentially brilliant to me:

“There is also a keyword system, which is used for trying out secret actions you might have thought of, or mentioning certain key phrases to NPCs. It’s definitely not a text adventure game where you have to type very often, but it’s super fun to figure out a secret topic to mention to somebody, and hear what they have to say.”

I absolutely love games that go the extra mile in terms of personality with tiny, possibly even superfluous mechanics like that, so I can’t wait to go spew random gibberish at NPCs. On paper, The Real Texas sounds wonderful, and I’ve just finished downloading it. You will find words about it – perhaps even on this very site – soon.