Frank Lampard has said that José Mourinho’s ability to bond with his players and fill them with self-belief are skills he has looked to adopt since becoming a manager.

Lampard has never forgotten how Mourinho’s encouragement boosted his confidence during the Portuguese’s first spell at Chelsea and he has tried to take a similar approach with his young players. Chelsea’s manager, who faces his former boss when his side visit Tottenham on Sunday, wants to build connections in the way Mourinho did.

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“When he first came to Chelsea, he was the first manager day-to-day who made me feel very close to him, working on the mental side, giving me that confidence,” Lampard said. “You form a bond. Working with the younger players now, it’s my duty to forge that same bond with them. They’re starting their journeys, their careers, and need to look up to me and the staff. I love all the young boys here.

“They’re good lads, really good players. It’s a constant. How you are with them every day. How much you want to work with them on the training ground. How much you delve into their personal lives, and how they interact with you. That’s huge.”

Lampard was asked whether it felt scripted when Mourinho, who returned to Stamford Bridge for a second spell in 2013, turned up in the showers at the end of the club’s 2004 summer tour to tell him that he was one of the best players in the world. “It felt instinctive,” Lampard said. “You’d have to ask him if it was planned. It made me feel great. Moments like that, it doesn’t need just to be best player in the world, but positive things. It was about drive, drive, drive and try and win titles. I’d try and do that with my players.”

Lampard refused to accept that it is difficult for older managers to connect with young players. “If you’ve got it, you’ve got it,” he said. “You don’t lose it as you get older. I’m more aware of social media. Maybe it’s slightly easier for a young manager to be aware of it. I was aware of it as a player. But if you’ve got it personality-wise, you’ve got it.”

The former Derby manager added that the trick is not getting too chummy with his players. “That’s the line you have to get right,” Lampard said. “I’d love to think I do. You’ll have to ask the players. I’m not hanging about with them playing PlayStation or stuff.”

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While Mourinho gave Chelsea a winning mentality when he joined them in 2004, Lampard pointed out the club’s success is also down to the ownership of Roman Abramovich, who bought the club in the summer of 2003. “It’s hard to say for sure,” he said. “It wouldn’t exist without Roman Abramovich, for sure. José Mourinho played a big part. He’s been successful twice here now. Who knows, though?”

It was pointed out that Mourinho’s influence hung over the squad after his first spell ended in 2007. “It’s hard to manage a club when you’ve left it,” Lampard said. “Once he left, the legacy was up to the players. It was a strong group, different managers pushing that agenda. The credit for the longevity and how we won things afterwards goes down to the core of the squads we had at the time and our will to win.”

Chelsea have lost four of their last five league games and another defeat would see them relinquish fourth place on goal difference to Spurs, who have chipped away at a 12-point gap since replacing Mauricio Pochettino with Mourinho last month, winning four of the Portuguese’s five league matches in charge.