By Steve Elliott of Toke of the Town

From time to time, the drug warriors come up with a real gem of a reason why we should all come to our senses and just stop it, already, with this “using cannabis” nonsense. I mean, come ON. Despite whatever perceived benefits, medical or otherwise, is it worth the huge risks?

“What risks?” you may rightly be asking. “I thought it had been established that it was relatively benign, almost completely non-toxic, and certainly didn’t cause overdoses.” Well, yeah, hippie, those things may be true, but there are other horrors that perhaps you haven’t considered.

I mean the horror of facial hair.

Fortunately, we have the brave and intrepid Dr. Ruairi Hanley, an Irish physician who abundantly proves that Reefer Madness isn’t an exclusively American phenomenon.

Seems the good doctor, being concerned for all of us, don’t you know, believes that “for the sake of young people’s mental health, drug use must remain stigmatized and should never be legalized in Ireland.”

It seems the good Dr. Hanley knows lots and lots about marijuana, even though he’s never smoked any of it — seems that making snap judgments and stereotypes works just as well for this Irish imbecile.

Dr. Hanley was good enough to share his vast wisdom on cannabis with us Friday in the Irish Medical Times; check dude out:

Regular readers of this column will be unsurprised to learn that I have never had any time for marijuana. Like anyone who attended an Irish university in the last 40 years, I was aware during my college years of the existence of a few long-term cannabis users. I freely admit I regarded these people as a bunch of brain-dead, attention-seeking idiots suffering from a chronic aversion to personal hygiene. Another interesting feature of the male section of this half-witted species was their apparent inability to use a razor on a regular basis. In fact, I cannot recall ever meeting a clean-shaven pothead. This is an approach to grooming they appear to share with trade union officials and borderline communist politicians.

You might notice the distinct absence of facial hair in the good Dr. Hanley’s photo. No chance that guy smokes dope or is a Communist, no sir!

From whence does such bitterness come, you might ask? (Well, other than rank stupidity, of course.) Ah, wonder no more, the good Dr. Hanley reveals that to us in the very next paragraph:

To be fair, and with a few pathetic exceptions, I would say that medical students were among the least likely to regularly partake of illegal drugs while in third-level education. For this reason, they were largely mocked by other, more ‘hip’ undergraduates as a bunch of boring nerds who were unwelcome in the various fashionable ‘societies’ where Celtic Tiger cubs went to play. No doubt the cool gang are still laughing from the higher moral ground of the dole queue today.

Ah, now it all becomes clear! Seems the young Dr.-Hanley-In-Training was laughed at as a nerd — and quite likely, never got any nookie — because of his goody-two-shoes attitudes towards cannabis!

A revealing look, ladies and gentlemen, into the mind of a prohibitionist.

Dr. Hanley, the Irish Idiot, believes the only way to save us from this horrible drug, cannabis, is to “stop people from taking them in the first place.” Well, FUCK?! Why didn’t we already think of that?

This must be achieved by making young people recognize that those who use these products regularly are not admirable, they are instead typically dysfunctional underachievers, many of whom have nothing to look forward to except long-term unemployment and welfare dependency.

[…]

Regardless of left-wing political ideology and middle-class guilt, I believe the only hope for many young people is to ensure that drug use remains stigmatised and never legalized.

There is the level of mentation typical of our opposition. Is it any wonder that in the War On Cannabis, cannabis is winning?

Speaking of weed and beards, you might enjoy this Tumblr blog: Weed Beards celebrates and chronicles the practice of breaking up weed on people’s faces, making them a weed beard, then taking and posting a picture of the results.

Editor’s note: Thanks to Pete Guither over at Drug WarRant for bringing our attention to this story.

Article From Toke of the Town and republished with special permission.