Guns, we are constantly told, are freedom. The Second Amendment is about protecting freedom—it's the right that makes all the others possible, because the gun is the last line of defense against a tyrannical government. Don't think too hard about whether even an AR-15 will stop a highly trained military force with tanks and Predator drones. The gun can also protect you against a complete stranger with easy access to incredibly powerful weaponry, who might shoot you because you chose the wrong day to go to the mall, or the movie theater, or a concert, or school. This happens far more often in America than any other industrialized nation, so you should carry your gun with you all the time. It might also protect you in a dispute over a parking spot.

In fact, we should organize our entire society around everyone owning a gun, or at least the indisputable fact that many people own guns—sometimes many guns—and we often have no idea who they are or whether they are sane. Even if you choose not to participate in American gun culture, your life should be oriented around avoiding gruesome death at the hands of someone who does. We should design all of our institutions and our buildings to account for the fact that anyone could show up, at any time, to kill people with the deadly weapons they easily acquired, as this phenomenon is completely inevitable.

Just ask Fox News, which hosted National Rifle Association spokesperson Dana Loesch Thursday night to lay out a new model for American schools.

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LOESCH on proposal to arm teachers: "Perimeter fences should be locked. Doors should be locked & monitored. You should have video security. If every layer fails, as a last line of defense, a teacher who is trained & capable of acting when needed to defend themselves & students." pic.twitter.com/3qcgbAZhIb — Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) January 4, 2019

Your child should have to pass through numerous highly secure checkpoints to get to algebra class. They should be aware, constantly, that they are at risk of horrific injury or death while studying. There is no room, anymore, for schools to be a calm and nurturing environment that helps children grow into the greatest version of themselves. This is about survival, and the only solution is more guns. Sure, other countries have mentally ill people and a tiny fraction of the gun deaths. But they aren't free. Freedom is having 57 times as many school shootings.

So kids should know that, if all else fails, there's something to fall back on. At all times—every second of every day—there is a deadly weapon in their teacher's desk. The teacher should have to pass a background check (not a requirement for all gun sales) and undergo strict training (almost never a requirement for civilians to own a gun). Don't think too hard about what requirements there are for every single person who wants to, say, drive a car. Also, don't think about racial disparities in the use of deadly force, how black children are often seen as "older and less innocent" than white kids, or how children of color are disciplined differently in school than white children.

Teachers (who are all volunteers!) can use the gun to protect their students from another gun, which could come barreling through the door any minute of any day in the hands of anyone. At that point, there should be a shootout in the classroom between the math teacher and the potential mass murderer.

Do you feel free? Does your child? You should. A world where you cannot leave your house unarmed for fear of being shot to death by a complete stranger is the essence of freedom. A world where schools must be locked down like prisons, and teachers are encouraged to serve as guards, is truly free. That we are the only country that has this problem on this scale, and chooses to respond to it in this way, is proof that we are the most free.

Yes, freedom means chaos and fear. But fear also sells more guns, which leads to more freedom. Normally, individual rights have limits, usually when they infringe on the rights of another person. A world where some citizens who are not elected to any government office can dictate how others live seems kind of like tyranny. But none of that applies to the right to own deadly weapons. That right is infinite, and everyone else will just have to accommodate it. It's a free country, after all.

Jack Holmes Politics Editor Jack Holmes is the Politics Editor at Esquire, where he writes daily and edits the Politics Blog with Charles P Pierce.

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