This year I have apparently spent a good deal of time trying to harm society in the most mundane ways imaginable. I was the subject of a Fish and Wildlife sting operation (long story), had my car stolen (it was found again), fell and broke my wrist (it's rumored I was evading the police), became a felon because of a clerical error, got my first speeding ticket (seven over), and among a few non-criminal things, I lost my full-time job not too long after receiving my Arb and Arb Plus matches.

My match, Modus Pwnins, and his accomplice, Toezap, went all vigilante-justice and sent a box full of excuses to not leave the apartment. Oh, sure, there was a fancy little note about sending me "a bit of cheer" for my upcoming job hunt, and something about how cute my daughter is, but I see what's up here:

This is clearly an attempt to keep me chair-locked so my unlawful attitude doesn't further infect the world.

They sent really good coffee, chocolate, more chocolate, candy, and a lovely mandala coloring kit. Of course, I'm already a redditor so the likelihood of me leaving my laptop was already slim- but this almost definitely ensures the public at least another week free of my criminal genius.

But just when you thought you had me cornered- OH NO! Look out world! I already have an interview this week! And you better watch me close- who knows what dastardly deeds I might attempt while I'm out. Maybe I'll forget to sort my recyclables, or cross the street without looking!!!! MUWAHAHAHAHA!!!

Seriously- this box was a joy to open, and I'm sorry it took me so long to post. Thank you so much for your thought- and thanks to Toezap for the field support! Your packaging job was amazing- nothing melted (I would have eaten it anyways)- your serious effort really paid off! The girl-child has already broken into the treats after reading that I was supposed to share! We had a World Market in town but it closed and a couple of these items are things we really miss. You guys are awesome!