I have always been a big fan of Max from Where the Wild Things Are. Consequently, it should come as no surprise that, as an adult, I would live out one of the scenes from that book. It was always my assumption, however, that it would be the wild rumpus part that’s filled with dancing or, perhaps, the dinner scene that’s filled with cake.

It comes as a complete surprise to me that it should be the sleeping part of the book (wherein all the monsters dog pile for warmth) that I am currently emulating.

And it is this scenario provides the first installment of “going green tips.”

Becoming an environmentally conscious person is a tough decision to make. It means no more rampant littering and reusing the crap you would rather just toss onto the side of a road. But it becomes significantly easier, if you don’t use fossil fuels or heating oil or if you don’t have money to pay for them. If you do have the money, but refuse to use fossil fuels, then you are an environmentally friendly person; if you lack the funds, then you are a de facto environmental activist.

The lack of No. 2 heating oil for my current apartment complex means that I have gone green. I am sure that the apartment complex is heated, but my apartment is not. Why? Oil is mad expensive. Also, contacting my landlord is confusing. Additionally, I find the provider for the oil to be difficult on the phone. Most of all, I’m lazy.

For a brief period of time my job was allotting workers an individual space heater for their desk. Since I am industrious I stole mine.

…until I plugged you in at home only to find out you’re broken

So I have found an alternate route to heating the apartment. I gather Liono and George and force them to cuddle with me. It is like a combination of Mowgli gathering with the wolves in The Jungle Book and Max slumbering with the wild things.

and, like Max before me, I find that if we all pile on the bed there is enough heat generated so my eyebrows don’t develop ice crystals during my slumber.

There ya go, environment. Thank me later.