CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A blazing pile of rubbish has today increased its two-party-preferred vote by 2% in the latest Newspoll, shooting past Labor’s previous election-winning lead in the wake of the Liberal leadership spill.

It is not yet known why the stinky, smokey pile of burning trash is even being considered as a Prime Minster, while emergency workers unsuccessfully attempt to quell the flames by pouring petrol on it.

One month after a toxic three-way leadership contest flipped Australia’s Prime Minister for the third time time since Labor was voted out in 2013, it appears that an out of control bin fire has boosted its primary vote by 3% to 36% and now sits behind Labor 46% to 54% in two-party-preferred terms.

The result represents a 4.4% swing to Labor since the 2016 election, which would lead to the government losing up to 20 seats if replicated in a general election, but it is the first positive movement towards the disgustingly pungent and flat out concerning skip bin full of firey trash in some time.

When asked for comment on the worrying poll numbers, Bill Shorten was still talking about the Fatman Scoop video, as it appears to be the only thing that he can honestly say he wouldn’t have done as Prime Minister.