Ratings on video games are an important part of making sure the art form is able to grow up. The more information given to consumers and parents about what is in a game, the less likely that game will wind up in the hands of someone who isn't old enough to play it. The question of which children should be playing what games is ultimately an open one; the ratings are merely guidelines, and parents have the final say about what their children play—exactly how it should be. So what are parents concerned about when looking at what games to buy for their children? An unscientific poll on What They Play suggests that parents have a few hot-button issues but are most concerned about sex. Reports from those on the front lines of the gaming retail industry support the poll results.

In the poll—which was conducted on the site, not among a broader body of game buyers—people were asked what would be most offensive in a video game: a severed head, men kissing, usage of a harsh profanity, or heterosexual sex. The sex between a man and a woman was considered to be the most offensive thing at 37 percent, with two men kissing coming in second at 27 percent, and a severed head at 26 percent. The F-bomb wasn't as bad, according to parents: only ten percent would have found that most offensive.

"Parents see two things as being in games: sex and violence, and [those two things] are simple," a GameStop manager told me on the condition I not use his name. "I try to say what kind of sex and how heavy the violence is in a game, and adults cut me off. Everyone seems to think, if the game has sex at all, then no. If the game has violence, even if it's like, things you could barely get into an R-rated movie, then it's probably okay."

I asked another manager what he does when he feels uncomfortable selling someone a game and got a long sigh in return. "It's not my job to argue," he told me.

One of the first large-scale controversies in gaming began because in a game where graphic violence is common and morals are nonexistent, someone released a hack to show some poorly-rendered sex. This isn't a new issue.

"I worked on Fahrenheit (known as Indigo Prophecy in the States) and had to cut the sex scenes out of the game for the US," said Constantine Hantzopoulos, an industry veteran who was the senior producer of Condemned: Bloodshot. "Yes, I was the guy that did that. It sucked because I don't believe in that, right. But you've got to do what you've got to do."

Indigo Prophecy was a game aimed squarely at adults with a number of thought-provoking themes and breathtaking set pieces. The sex wasn't gratuitous and happened in one of the rare moments of peace in the life of a character who was beginning to feel he was doomed. It added to the story, but again, sexuality in the United States is nearly impossible to address without running into controversy.

It's not an issue that's confined to video games. Most of the complaints made to the Federal Communications Commission about inappropriate content on TV by groups such as the Parents Television Resource Council have to do about sexual content. In turn, recent decisions to fine broadcasters have hinged on fleeting f-bombs and pixelated naughty bits rather than violent content.

While depicting rampant or casual sex may be seen as devaluing humans by turning them into objects, I would argue that allowing violence while avoiding sex in many ways achieves the same goal of dehumanizing the characters in games. While there may be some merit to both views, we need to think carefully about which images are actually harmful to young minds, and why. Black-and-white thinking on sex in games might be appropriate for young kids, but it may also prevent adult gamers from experiencing the full power of the interactive stories games can tell.