“He was mentioned 30 times in the whistle-blower’s report. That’s 29 times too many. I mean, you know you’re in trouble if you control-F your name in a whistle-blower’s report and the screen lights up like a motel bed under a black light.” — TREVOR NOAH

“In their attached letter, the chairmen of three House committees made clear, ‘Our inquiry includes an investigation of credible allegations that you acted as an agent of the president in a scheme to advance his personal political interests by abusing the power of the office of the president.’ Well, duh! That’s what it says on Giuliani’s tramp stamp.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Specifically, they’re just requesting evidence; no one has to actually testify yet. I guess Democrats saw Rudy Giuliani’s face on the news and thought, ‘You know what? Let’s just get it in writing.’” — JAMES CORDEN