Late-night hosts continued to discuss William Barr, despite him not showing up to testify to the House judiciary committee.

Stephen Colbert

Yesterday it was National Prayer Day, and Donald Trump celebrated with a prayer breakfast and a self-congratulatory speech, giving Stephen Colbert plenty of material for his opening monologue. During the president’s speech, Trump discussed the so-called witch-hunt and, oddly, mall signage, saying retailers were returning to Merry Christmas. Being that it is May, Colbert knocked him for this. “Yes. Yes, it’s true. Go to any mall in America right now and it is Christmas. We are proudly getting ready for our Yuletide cookouts and our Noel fireworks displays and our nativity pool parties, kids selling mulled lemonade on the street corners. You know, Christmas.”

Trump even quoted from the Bible, but fumbled the verse, making it clear he was unfamiliar with it. Colbert could not contain his laughter, telling his audience: “He has never read one word of the Bible before.” He then impersonated him, intentionally mispronouncing words.

The host then focused his attention on yesterday’s aftermath of the botched Barr testimony and the fact that he was a no-show for the House judiciary committee. Nancy Pelosi condemned Barr’s false testimony as a crime and Colbert took a shot at Trump himself. “Yes, when the attorney general lies to Congress, it is a crime. When the president does it, it’s the State of the Union.

“Anyway, Barr lied to the Senate. And today, he was scheduled to lie to the House of Representatives. But he did not show up,” Colbert informed his audience. Former FBI director James Comey released an op-ed from the New York Times that said, in part: “Mr Trump eats your soul in small bites.” Reminding the audience Comey was fired from his position, the host joked: “Evidently, Trump did not want to eat Comey’s soul. I’m guessing it was a vegetable.” Colbert closed with one more joke about Trump’s diet of soul-eating: “Then, along with several Diet Coke-soaked cheese burgers, your soul makes the journey through Trump’s digestive tract and is eventually excreted. And then you’re Stephen Miller.”

Seth Meyers

Seth Meyers also focused on Barr and Trump, choosing to take a closer look at the attorney general and his protection of Trump. In November 2018, Trump promised to have a “war-like posture” if Congress began to investigate him. Meyers expressed disbelief: “I can’t exactly imagine Trump in a war-like posture. He spends most of his time in a duck-like posture.”

Because Barr refused to show up because lawyers would be there, Meyers used a graphic of former mayor Rudy Giuliani, saying: “Usually when you work for Trump, the only attorney you have to face is this guy. And he is definitely not skilled.” Meyers continued: “Rudy always looks like the last frame of a clip from America’s Funniest Home Videos.”

With Barr not in attendance, House Democrats were very frustrated, telling press they did not trust Barr. Meyers made light of it: “This confirms everyone’s worst fear: if you don’t show up to a party, the people that do are going to talk shit about you.” But congressman Steve Cohen had his own joke for the hearing, bringing in a porcelain rooster, eating a bucket of Kentucky fried chicken and calling the attorney general “Chicken Barr”. Meyers sarcastically told his audience: “I’m not sure we got it.”

But the funniest joke was rooted in the muting the mic of Florida representative Mike Gaetz. Gaetz had his mic shut off while trying to complain to the committee chair and was promptly dismissed. “Seriously, can please we try that next time Trump holds a rally?” said Meyers, to the pleasure of his audience. He closed with a request to have House Democrats call Robert Mueller.

Trevor Noah

Before Russia was hacking your grandma’s Facebook page, they were doing actual superpower stuff, and they’re back at it. 👀 pic.twitter.com/5fdCxXpMdp — The Daily Show (@TheDailyShow) May 3, 2019

Unlike the rest, Daily Show host Trevor Noah decided to focus on something strangely cute but also strangely sinister. Reports from military experts say a playful beluga whale is actually a Russian espionage agent. Noah seemed incredulous, saying: “Now I’ve heard it all.” With this news, Noah introduced a new segment, titled: “If you don’t know, now you know.”

The late-night host informed his audience about the Russia’s interest and recent takeover of the northern Arctic region, through news clips and some monologue. Russia expanded in the Arctic because they want its natural resources oil and gas. With military bases, weapons designed for the cold and even reindeer, Noah highlighted their strange zeal for the region. “I don’t know what’s crazier: the fact that they killed the dude in training or that the Russians have reindeer soldiers training for them.” Explaining that while the ice melt means rising sea levels, the rich natural resources of the Arctic are being revealed and sending countries into a fight for colonization and control. Iceland’s president world called it the new Africa, to which Noah said, in a singsong voice: “Here we go … White people discovering a new Africa.”

