I first met FTT (Fire This Time) in November 2013. I had just spent the previous months recovering from a serious bout of depression and anxiety, and I was finally doing well, physically, mentally, spiritually – I was reaching out to new opportunities, curious about connecting with the world around me in new ways. I reconnected with my high school friend Tamara (one of the 10 FTT core organisers), and she invited me to an event on US–Iran relations – my first FTT event. I was new to activism – I had always thought of myself as someone that held views on the left, I had always kept up to speed on the issues, but I had never participated, never taken action in something I believed in or felt passionate about.

At the first few FTT events, I was inspired. The people I met were friendly, the tone was inclusive. I met Thomas (another senior organiser), and we started dating soon after. It seemed to be an excellent balance of new relationship, new friendships, new opportunities to participate in community, to take action.

(As an aside: FTT goes by many names, like, MAWO [Mobilization Against War and Occupation], VCSC [Vancouver Communities in Solidarity with Cuba], “Free the Cuban 5 Committee – Vancouver,” “Friends of Cuba Against the US Blockade”, and the “Working Group to Stop Bill C-51”. All of these groups – every single one – is run by the same 10 people, as of 2014; though this could now be 11 or 12 people. One can only assume that by creating multiple names for themselves, they can give the impression of a “coalition of groups”? Whatever their reasoning, the plain truth is they are one group of people, led by one man, Ali Yerevani. For the purposes of this piece I will refer to them as “FTT”).

So, 2014: I spent the year participating in most of their events (rallies, pickets, forums, conferences), I occasionally attended internal planning meetings (though I was never privy to the “highest” level of decision-making), I spent many informal evenings at their organising house, and I developed a relationship with organiser Thomas.

And then I left it all! I left because I couldn’t stop myself from seeing the ugly truths I started to learn over time, about how dysfunctionally they operated, how group decisions were made (not by consensus), how they mistreated each other, and how they mistreated others that spent time with the group (including myself). I’m writing this piece to get it all out in the open, because it should be, because people should know, and mostly, as a warning to other young people interested in revolutionary politics: stay away from FTT!

–

Soon after attending my first few events, I was introduced to Ali Yerevani. For those of you already active in progressive politics in Vancouver, his name will not be new to you, as he has been active in the Vancouver political scene for at least the last 15 years or so. But me being new to activism in Vancouver, I had no background on him, he was just presented to me as another member of the organising “team”. He was friendly, smiled a lot, charming, funny. Later on, as I spent more time with him, I understood, this was a man that wore many faces, and there was a private side to him that only appeared during internal meetings, and while I hesitate to use the clichéd example of saying he had a Jekyll-and-Hyde complex, it can be applied here. Ali, on a bad day, was aggressive, forceful, unpredictable and had a short fuse.

Ali is also a dangerously tactical player. I came to learn, slowly, that FTT is all about strategy: strategy to attract new people, strategy to retain people, strategy to make connections. There are two main problems with their “strategies”. First of all, they do not come from a consensus within the group, they come solely from one man at the top, Ali Yerevani. And second, their strategies are divisive and a distraction for the rest of the Left in Vancouver (and Canada) who are trying to build solidarity.

This would also not be a bad time to bring out the word that many associate with Fire This Time: cult. Do I think they operate as a cult? After spending a year with these people, I do not hesitate to say “yes”. I’ve heard from other activists there seems to be one in every major city, a “political cult”. I would describe Fire This Time as a “communist cult”.

To understand FTT as a cult, you have to understand their day-to-day operations. First off, there are ONLY 10 organisers (including the man at the top, Ali Yerevani). Everyone else is a “supporter” and does not take part in more “internal” work (group discussions and planning). These 10 organisers live in two separate houses, one in Burnaby, the main organising house, and the second house in East Vancouver, where four of the other organisers live. The second house is a depressing spot, as all the organisers do is sleep there – its dirty, unadorned, and has no food – as they spend every other hour of the day at the bigger organising house. Actually, that is precisely the breakdown of an organisers day: unless you’re working your day job, or sleeping, EVERY other hour is spent in the company of the rest of your cadre at the organising house. I saw first hand the impossibility of maintaining friendships outside of FTT, as my partner Thomas struggled with this. Not to mention the impossibility of maintaining a romantic relationship – Thomas and I ultimately failed at this, because there were no hours left in the week for our relationship, when all of his time was spent with his comrades.

The strange thing though was, even though they spent every afternoon, dinner, and evening together (seven days a week), it wasn’t as if they were working that whole time. Sometimes they were just sitting around, socializing, cooking, eating, gossiping – but it was always the 10 of them, building a co-dependency in which every organiser knew all the personal details of the others life. Near the end of my relationship with Thomas, I often wondered how many private details of our relationship were shared with these people. But it made sense – these 10 people knew each other so intimately, and did not have substantial relationships with anybody else (including their own families), so naturally a co-dependency would form. There was an even more unbalanced level to their co-dependency: not only was Ali pushing them to work to the limits of exhaustion, but they would do it to each other as well, calling another organiser out if they weren’t “pulling their weight”, as Thomas put it once. Talking down to younger organisers was common, I even witnessed one of the youngest organisers in the group being told to stop talking completely, during a car ride, because a few of the other organisers had decided, “you’re too tired, so stop talking”. It was a constant experiment of survival of the fittest, as organisers pushed themselves AND each other to the limits, to test their level of dedication.

Apart from never having a day or weekend “off”, there were also rules for “vacation time”: that you could only have two weeks of it a year, and it had to be booked and approved by Ali, so you weren’t leaving at an inconvenient time! Every other week of the year, you were either working, sleeping or organising for FTT. That’s seven days a week, 50 weeks of the year.

I guess for many the question that one wonders is “How are these people so dedicated? Is it dedication? Is it hard work?”

Now, to me, as someone who has dealt with depression and anxiety for most of her adult life, I can tell you only from my perspective, of that which looks “mentally healthy”, and that which looks “mentally unhealthy”. We all know what good mental health is: living a balanced life, working, spending time with family and friends, developing and maintaining healthy relationships, pursuing interests and hobbies, exercise and healthy eating, etc etc. Therapists often also speak of another aspect of mental health, that being a “connection to community”, interpreted in whatever way makes sense for you. For me, and I think many other activists, we see our “connection to the community”, as organising and working to try and make the world a better place. That is a part of our good mental health…

If there was ever an unhealthy way to try and make the world a better place, I saw it in FTT’s approach to activism. Though they are not spoken of among the group in front of “supporters” (like myself), I still knew of those former members that had left for reasons like: it was having an impact on their mental health (ie, they were getting overwhelmed, depressed and anxious); they were failing at school because FTT demanded so much of their time; and sheer exhaustion. The thing with FTT is, you are either in 100% as an organiser, and if you can’t commit to that, suddenly you are back to being on the fringes as a supporter and no more. There is no “commit what time you have” option. Its either seven days a week, or you’re no longer on the internal committee. With this rule in place, and some of these activists being involved with FTT since their early 20s, its no surprise that as time passed and the organisers became dependent on all that FTT offered them (which includes a sense of belonging and 10 guaranteed and unconditional friendships); that they would make sacrifices in other areas of their life: spending time with family; pursuing hobbies, sports and interests; romantic relationships. (As for romantic relationships, the only ones that seemed to last were the ones that organisers were having with each other, ie, dating “inside the group”; – those that dated “outside the group” did not have much long-term success, including myself and Thomas). Each FTT organiser had made unhealthy, unreasonable, and unnecessary sacrifices in their lives, as far as I could see.

Without exaggeration, I have to say that for all their dedication and sacrifice, there was one incident that shocked me into the realisation that something was really not well about this group; more than anything else, an incident in which I can say I honestly felt my life was at risk. One night, we had been at the house all evening for a “meeting”; (often meetings at the organising house may start at 8 or 9pm and run until 2 or 3am, and often on weeknights, and this often repeating for nights in a row. Half the time they were hardly meetings – often nights went long because Ali would get excited on a subject and give an impromptu lecture that could last hours!). Many of the organisers had jobs in the trades, which meant having to be up at 6 or 7am, which meant that often, multiple nights in a week, the organisers were working full time jobs on 3 or 4 hours of sleep. I was never quite sure if all that talk time was actually needed to plan the events that FTT put on, or if working organisers to the bone and depriving them of their sleep was more an exercise of Ali’s, in making them “stronger revolutionaries”, not to mention testing their commitment.

This particular night the meeting ended at 2am, and one of the organisers (one of those that had to be up in 4 or 5 hours, and had probably slept even less the night before) had been tasked to take one of the communal cars and drive four of us home to the other house. Half way through the ride, from the backseat I caught this organiser nodding off to sleep at the wheel (his head drooping and bouncing back up while he tried to keep himself awake); and we were on the highway, no less! Once I pointed it out, it he angrily denied it, and the other organiser in the front seat said nothing but proceeded to turn the radio on fairly loudly. We got home safely. Did any of this surprise me? Not really. I already knew that within the group, there was a Rule that organisers should never drive alone in the evenings or at night, and should always have another organiser in the passenger seat, so that they could keep the driver awake. Why would you even need this rule unless you worked your organisers to the point of exhaustion so that they couldn’t safely drive their own cars?

Now, I spoke of two main problems with the group, the first being the decision-making process of the group. All of the above examples of unhealthy behaviour, while encouraged by other organisers, are all in place to begin with because Ali has decreed that this is how the group should be run. From what I saw in internal meetings and even informal gatherings, there was discussion and debate, and work produced (eg, the design of posters), but at the end of the day, Ali had the final word on every decision, piece of literature or procedure that left the house. That includes anything from, how to hand around a donation box at an event, which car to drive, which organiser should speak to which supporter, the specific wording on a poster, to where to walk when participating in another groups rally. Anything and everything had to receive Ali’s stamp of approval before it became rule, policy or publication.

As for his Jekyll-and-Hyde nature, it was a thing to behold. He had all the charm and hospitality that comes from his upbringing in Persian culture (being half Middle Eastern myself, this was a side of the culture I was familiar with), which he displayed when supporters were around. But when it was just the other 9 organisers (and sometimes me), anything goes. One time, a few of us were in the kitchen talking, and a female organiser walked into the room and accidentally started to speak without realising that Ali was “sermonizing” (as I like to call it) to the rest of us on some subject. As soon as she noticed that Ali was speaking, she stopped talking, but that didn’t stop Ali from viciously turning to her and saying, “What is wrong with you?! You’re so rude, you have no manners! I’m not surprised, because you’re WHITE, you’ve never been taught manners”. This was repeated several times with a raised voice for emphasis. The viciousness of the attack, in front of four other people, would leave anyone feeling embarrassed (but if you’re not comfortable being embarrassed and shamed in front of others, you shouldn’t be in FTT). I thought that after Ali had finished his tongue-lashing, the organiser would say something in defense of herself, but she said not a word, and just waited until Ali had finished telling her off. That was one of the first times I realised the nature of the relationship between the organisers and Ali, was not one of just respect, but fear as well. I suppose some of the best leaders in history have relied on this combination to rule!

Another time, I had come to the house for one of their Saturday night dinners, in which supporters were invited to learn about an upcoming FTT event or fundraising was to be done. This night, I had come into the kitchen looking for another one of the female organisers, for whom I had some clothing to give to, items that no longer fit me. When I walked into the room, I noted Ali was busily preparing food, so I went to the female organiser first, said hello, and showed her what I had for her. After, I turned to see if Ali was any less busy, and said “Oh sorry, I forgot to say hello to you too!” Ali proceeded to give me another of his tongue-lashings, this time in front of three other people, all organisers, he says, in a raised voice “You should be sorry, because I am BETTER than you! I am BETTER than you and you should show me more respect, because you are LESS than me.” I could hardly believe what I was hearing! He kept repeating himself, obviously trying to belittle me, until some guests walked into the room, and it was back to the friendly and hospitable Ali, for all supporters to see. I proceeded to leave the house soon after, and, to add insult to injury, when I told my partner Thomas about the encounter, his response was “well, maybe you deserved it!” [the belittling]. I supposed then that at some point, all of the other organisers (including Thomas), had probably been on the receiving end of on abusive tongue-lashing from Ali, and that this behaviour was the norm. As for me, I never received an apology.

Within FTT, there is a major power imbalance, in my opinion. Ali is in his mid to late 50s, and all the other organisers are in their mid 20s, with the exception of Thomas and Tamara, who are just over 30 (but have been in the group, and influenced by Ali, since their early 20s). As Ali is the most senior in the group, the one with the most experience, of course he would be “leader”, but his broad influence over the younger members is troubling.

Among his many opinions, those that affect the female organisers (especially the younger ones), are some of the most worrying. There is a general understanding among the group, that for the women who want to be real revolutionaries, they should probably not ever have children. One time, I inquired about a prominent local activist’s recent work, and the response I got from Ali was a laugh, and: “Well, he had a kid, and knowing his feminist wife, I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s being made to do half the work!”, said in a disparaging tone! As if this was something a forward-thinking man should be ashamed of. The point was, of course, that being a parent and having a family takes away from your ability to be a proper revolutionary. The women in the group are also “used” to full advantage: whether or not they are the best suited to the position or topic, generally the women are always committee chairs/coordinators. It was confirmed to me by an organiser that the female organisers are to always chair forums and discussions involving supporters and the general public, and to do interviews with the media, as this gives the impression of a group with feminist values, when in fact it is really just evidence of tokenisation.

The second (and last) point I wanted to touch on, was the divisive nature of FTT. Most on the left in Vancouver know of FTT/MAWO’s infamous departure from the StopWar coalition in the early/mid 2000s, but that was before my time. For my part, I spent all of 2014 observing the way they worked with other groups. It always started off amicably enough, but all of a sudden I would hear that groups or individuals were no longer interesting in working in solidarity with FTT. While most of the time, all I was told was “Oh, we don’t know, they must have changed their minds”, once I was told, that a certain group and person had left because FTT was too “controlling” (which I suspect was the reason all the others had left too).

This is probably because, when it came to working in solidarity, I got the impression FTT didn’t think much of it. And in some ways you can’t blame the brain-washed organisers: Ali is constantly telling them and reinforcing that they are the “best organisers”, that other groups are lazy (even ones that FTT is “working with”), that other movements are not working hard enough, that in general the Left in Canada doesn’t actually want change, and the only people properly trained (by him), and dedicated enough to bring about real change, is themselves. Activism for them is a competition, a power grab to see who can get to the top. Recruitment is always at the front of their minds, every general meeting open to the public, it is carefully noted by an organiser who is attending, and how often. Certain organisers are chosen to be the “point person” for any given supporter, and that point person will always contact the same supporter, in the same way, in a strategic plan by Ali for their support and involvement. As for other groups, apart from StopWar, I know of many that have either heard of FTT’s style of “solidarity” (to try and take over a shared event, for example), and avoided them, or have been unfortunate enough to have made the mistake of working with them, and have learnt their lesson.

“Controlling” was a word I heard from other supporters after attending certain events that FTT had put on, and it wasn’t a word that I was surprised to hear. For every act of organising and protest, there was a “proper” way to do things. Buttons must be arranged on a table this way, fliers must be handed out this way. There were rules for everything, like, organisers should not drink alcohol. Another rule was, organisers in relationships (including myself and Thomas), should act like they are not in a relationship, when dealing with the public, in front of supporters, and even just in front of other organisers at the organising house. Hand-holding and hugs between partners? Definitely not allowed! The stated reason for this was so that supporters and the general public would not feel “uncomfortable” approaching an organiser at an event [if the organiser was standing next to their romantic partner]. So, in theory, if Female Organiser “A” is pretending to be unattached and single, Male Supporter “B” is more likely to approach her – deceiving, for sure, but also, somewhat unsettling…? Another of the more disturbing controls that Ali has in place, is over your self-education: that is to say, it is discouraged. From the beginning, Ali decides the course of your Marxist education, starting you off with a certain book, followed by a certain essay, etc. Organisers are educated according to a curriculum that Ali determines.

Ultimately, in my opinion, FTT does more harm to themselves, than they do to the Left as a movement in Vancouver. The people that are losing out are the organisers themselves. From spending a year with them, I can say that the two traits they share with each other, above all else, are: one, their obsessive, cult-like worship of Ali, themselves, and the work that they do; and two, the punishing and unhealthy day-to-day lives they lead, just moments away from sheer exhaustion. They run on repeated doses of coffee to make up for serious lack of sleep, and a belief that they, and they alone, are the ones most suited and deserving of leading a larger movement in Canada. I have never met a group of people so proud of such insignificant work. At first I thought there was something noble about it, how they were so dedicated to putting on their events despite low turnout, despite the fact that sometimes the audience for a forum or the protestors at a rally were mostly the organisers themselves, and maybe 2 or 3 supporters. Recently, I’ve spent the last few months spending time with and getting to know other groups on the Left in Vancouver, and I’ve realised that for all the back-breaking work FTT organisers do, their lack of success in creating awareness or a movement, or even retaining supporters and connections, is because of the fundamental flaws in their divisive style of organising, and their power-crazy leadership. Ali Yerevani has enough charisma to somehow keep these organisers going, but he has no vision. Without solidarity of causes and groups, there can never be a larger people’s movement in Canada. Forming a cult and then telling your cult followers that they are the “best” of them all, and that they should be in charge of all things, is a horrible trick played on some very capable, intelligent and dedicated young people, who can’t see the truth of Ali and his ways. It is such a tragic waste of the genuine idealism, hope and hard work of the organisers that follow him, not to mention a well of toxicity for all those working hard in Vancouver to make the world a more fair and equal place.