Hi Swistle,

We are three sisters, Anna (oldest), Lucy (me) and Kate (youngest).

We all love the name Sylvie for our babies! My due date is end of March. Anna’s due date is next week! Kate is due at the end of March too. None of us know the gender. Anna has two kids already, Isabelle James Love and Henry James Love.

James is a family name so the name would be Sylvie James. For a boy, she has chosen Felix James. Anna thinks she has rights to the name as she is the oldest and is having her daughter/son first. She is insistent that Sylvie will be her name and that none of us are to use it. She likes classic names with nicknames. She calls Isabelle, Izzy/Belle and Henry, Harry/Hank. I have one little girl, Etta Rose Carmichael. Now I think that Sylvie and Etta sounds like sisters! I think the name is perfect for me and I really, really wish my sisters would back off. I would love some help to pick a name for a little boy too. I have no clue this pregnancy for names! Some names I’ve thought about are, Lila, Lena, Emilie, May, June, Elsie, Constance, Lula, Jasper, Leo, James, Barney, Noah, Archie, Arlo, Milo, Harmon,August, Miles, Hugh, Forrest, Silas and Benjamin. I don’t really want two E names though. Kate has no children but likes the names: Jocelyn, Lyla, Laney, Destiny, Annie, Gwendolyn, Piper, Leilani, Victoria and Thea as well as Sylvie. But Kate definitely thinks that Sylvie is her name. She refuses to even see the possibility of her not having a Sylvie. She wants her Sylvie to be Sylvie Belle Cobain which upset Anna because Belle is part of Isabelle’s name. She would also like help with a boy’s name although the middle name will be Braden. So, Swistle please, please help us three sisters who are at war over Sylvie!

But here’s the interesting bit-we’ve decided that whatever combo Swistle picks for us will be the one we use! Swistle, you’re in charge.

Lucy, Anna and Kate xo

Here is Swistle’s decree: all of you may use the name. I mean it. All of you. In fact, I hope you DO all have girls and DO all use the name Sylvie, because there are already so many coincidences here it seems like the only way to wrap it up. Three sisters, all due in the same month, none know the sex, number of kids goes in age order (Anna 3, Lucy 2, Kate 1), all want the same unusual girl name? The ending I can’t help but root for is the one where we end up with three adorable same-age cousins, all named Sylvie. I’m picturing hearing that story from an acquaintance, and I would LOVE it. And since all three have different middles/surnames, that makes it easy for telling them apart within the family.

If the three of you are in agreement that only one of you can use the name Sylvie, I disagree that Anna has dibs because she’s the eldest, but I’d agree with the idea that the first of you to give birth to a girl has the right to use the name. Unless there is something else not included in the letter (such as a reason why one of you might have a greater claim to the name than the others), I think that’s the only fair way to decide: the name Sylvie belongs to the first baby girl born. It’s a little puzzling that neither Anna nor Lucy has used it yet, since each has had a girl, but I will assume there is an explanation that isn’t mentioned in the letter.

If the three of you are not in agreement on whether the name can only be used by one sister, then I suggest that the ones who don’t want duplication be the ones to voluntarily back out. It is an absolutely fine and reasonable preference to want one’s child’s name not to be duplicated within one’s immediate social circle. This can be achieved by saying, “Hey, guys, these are some of our finalists—do any of you want to use any of these? No? Are you SURE? Because we don’t want duplication. Okay, so you’re fine with me calling dibs? Great!” It should not be achieved by grabbing up names and saying “MINE! MINE! I CALL DIBS! NO ONE ELSE CAN HAVE THEM, EVEN IF YOU ALSO THOUGHT OF THESE NAMES YOURSELF!” To put it another way: if you want names no one else will use, choose the names no one else wants, rather than banning everyone else’s use of all the names you want. If for example Anna and Lucy both say that only one sister can use the name Sylvie, but Kate feels all of the sisters should be able to use it, then Anna and Lucy should find names the other sisters don’t want to use, and Kate can use the name Sylvie.

I see no reason Kate’s daughter can’t have the middle name Belle, even if Anna’s daughter Isabelle is called Belle. That seems like a sweet tie between cousins. If it is truly upsetting to Anna for any of the cousins to share any part of any of their names, and if Anna is the only one who feels that only one sister can use the name Sylvie, I’d suggest this deal: Lucy and Kate agree that they can both use the name Sylvie, no matter who has a girl this time around; Kate agrees not to use Belle as the middle name; Anna agrees not to use Sylvie; Lucy and Kate agree not to use the name Anna uses instead.

Another option is to agree that none of you will use the name. This is painful, but may be worth it to preserve peace among sisters. Sometimes this is the only solution for two parents who are both clinging to their own favorite name: both have to abandon their first choices, and come up with something else they can agree on.

For Anna, I’d suggest a name that is more in line with her usual preferences, but perhaps we could find something with a nice V sound like Sylvie: Olivia (Livvy), Vivian (Vivi), Evelyn (Evvie, Lynnie), Genevieve (Genna, Evie). Or Sophie is very similar to Sylvie, and more on par with the popularity of Isabelle. Isabelle and Sophia; Izzy and Sophie. Or if she wouldn’t want to save Felix for a future boy, she could use Felicity if this baby is a girl.

For Lucy, my favorites are Lena, May, and June from the girl name list, and Archie, Arlo (though I find it difficult to say with the surname), Hugh, and Silas from the boy name list. For girls I’d add Flora, Josie, Louise, Olive, Ruby, Sadie, Sybil, Thea, Willa.

For Kate, the field is still wide open. The list of other names she likes is so varied in popularity and style, I’d suggest starting by thinking in terms of future sibling groups, to see if she can get a better feeling for her overall preferences. Does she see herself with more of a Gwendolyn and Victoria family? or more of a Destiny and Piper family? or more of a Laney and Annie family? or more of a Lyla and Thea family? Or is she more of the Happy Assortment philosophy, and will want a mix of styles? And her boy name list might look completely different: it’s common for parents to like one style for girls and another style for boys. Is she more the William/Henry/Charlie style, or the Braden/Caden/Hayden style, or the Hunter/Carter/Mason style, or the Ezekiel/Moses/Ezra style, or the Jett/Maverick/Arrow style, and so on and so on.

I do hope, though, that none of you have to give up your favorite and look for another name. Whether that happens by all of you having girls named Sylvie, or by all of you having nothing but boys from now on, or by only one of you having a girl this time and the other two no longer wanting to use the name Sylvie, I hope the story has a good ending—and that you will tell it to us, no matter how many years go by before you know how it turns out!

Name update the first!

Hi Swistle, Important news, and answers to your questions! 1) Neither of us used Sylvie beforehand because when Anna was pregnant with Isabelle, she had a close friend named Sylvie who no longer lives in the same country. At the time, for her, it would have felt weird to name her baby Sylvie. She doesn’t like sharing names and it’s one of the reasons she was so protective over Sylvie! For me, my husband and I came up with Etta Rose at an early stage in the pregnancy and loved it too much to even think of another name. 2) Kate and I have both agreed to look at other names. At the moment, I’m liking Ruby May, Louise June, Lena Sylvie, Vera Constance, Lula June, Celia May and Lila Sylvie. Kate has thanked you for your suggestions and likes Thea Belle, Seth Braden, Asher Braden, Lyra Elizabeth, Savannah Belle, Savannah Kate and Oliver Braden. So, we do have some other names to look at and tension has died down a bit. We also are considering the idea of naming the babies Sylvie and calling them by nicknames. 3) Felix James Love was born early this morning and is DIVINE! Anna would like to thank you for your advice and has said that she will be keeping Sylvia and Sophia in mind for future babies… The tension has definitely diffused by Anna having a son as we’ve begun to realise that there is a possibility of all three us having sons. We’re calling him Lucky and Fox at the minute as some cute nicknames but he is more than definitely a Felix. Felix is 7 pounds and is 19.2 inches. Isabelle and Henry adore baby brother Felix and Anna is tired out but happy :) 4) Please continue being AMAZING and sending your fabulous comments. Kate and I are still battling over Sylvie. Perhaps we will end up with two Sylvie’s going by Syl and Liv. It depends. We see each other on a regular basis and kids will go to the same school to those asking. I will admit to backing down a little bit because I feel like as it is Kate’s first child she should get to use the name she uses. But I would still use Sylvie as a middle name. Anna, Lucy and Kate xo

Name update the second and third!

Hey Swistle,

I’m Kate the third sister and I’m writing to you this time as Lucy is just a little bit busy at the moment!

With two kids, she’s struggling to find time! I’m happy to announce that I have a beautiful new niece named Sylvie Lena Carmichael. Sylvie Lena is adorable! Sylvie is 6 pounds and 18.8 inches. She is happy and healthy although quite little. SO proud of Lucy for my two beautiful nieces Etta and Sylvie.

On to other news, I gave birth to a beautiful little girl last night. She is the prettiest little thing. I am in love with her and being a first time mother is AMAZING!

Her name is Sylvie Piper Cobain. Yep, we both used Sylvie! We plan on calling them Sylvie Piper and Sylvie Lena when they are around each other as well as using nickname Syl for Sylvie Piper and Vee for Sylvie Lena. Despite me really wanting Sylvie Belle, my husband adores Sylvie Piper and I do too. Baby Syl is 8 pounds and 18.9 inches so Vee is the smallest baby of the three.

I know that a lot of people doubted the credibility of our rocky name journey but believe me, this whole craziness is real! We are all so happy to not be hormonal, crying, super pregnant wrecks any more! Our husbands, (Anna=Joe, Lucy=Drew Kate=Ezekiel) would like to thank you for helping us learn that cousins can have the same name!

So, a big, big, big THANK YOU from Kate, Lucy, Anna, Felix, Sylvie Lena and Sylvie Piper!

Anna, Lucy and Kate xo