PAUL Elam is a “pacifist” whose mission in life is fight for men’s rights, not to insult women.

He believes, “from the bottom of my heart”, that he is supposed to “demand changes to the system and justice for men”.

“I am supposed to bemoan a biased system and the lost rights of fathers in this country,” he writes on his website, A Voice for Men, which he founded in 2008 and which today attracts thousands of followers.

Which is why when BuzzFeed recently published an explosive interview with Elam’s family - called: “How Men’s Rights Leader Paul Elam Turned Being A Deadbeat Dad Into A Moneymaking Movement” - describing how Elam abandoned his children at birth, and revealed the “advocate’s” own dark history with rape accusations, divorce courts and drug addiction, he was quick to respond with this:

“We’ve grown by provoking the feminist establishments and then having yellow hack journalists looking for click bait coming to write bulls**t stories about us which the readers eventually come to the site and find out there’ve been lied to. We’ve grown exponentially off that very thing.”

But just what did “yellow hack journalist” Adam Serwer say to provoke Elam?

Have a conversation with “Bonnie”, Elam’s daughter, and the first of his three wives and Bonnie’s mother — “Susan” — who shed light on the kind of persona Elam wishes to bury from the public.

News_Image_File: Controversial ... A Voice for Men, the advocacy website started for men, has grown steadily since publisher and CEO, Paul Elam, first funded it in 2008. Picture: A Voice for Men screengrab.

Elam — whose arguments against the feminist movement and the disruption of the natural gender order have been ongoing since he funded A Voice for Men: Humanist Counter-Theory, in 2008 — summarised his true feelings in a “Message to Women”, delivered one year after his mission began.

“Men and women developed gender roles that facilitate the survival of the species, and once those roles were not necessary, they began the often complicated path to change,” he intoned.

“The problem here is that your knowledge of these historical events is largely shaped — convoluted, rather — by feminism. Feminists taught you that your history with men was of unremitting evil, that you were chattel, slaves to men who held all power and shut you out with extreme intent.

“They even gave it a name: patriarchy.”

News_Rich_Media: A Message to Women

Feminists, he argues, have ruined the natural order of the world — “neutered men” — and turned society against men, and in favour of women.

Yet, he says he doesn’t hate women — in fact, he “lauds” women’s emancipation from both the actual and “metaphorical cave”, and supports the decision to allow women to vote.

He just thinks they lie a lot, especially about motherhood and being raped.

In his BuzzFeed News article, Serwer writes that “Bonnie”, Elam’s biological daughter — who was given an alias to protect her from Elam’s fans — said she first saw her father nearly 25 years after he relinquished his parental rights over her and her brother.

During a tumultuous marriage to Bonnie’s mother, “Susan”, BuzzFeed was told that Elam took drugs, drank heavily and refused to support his wife after she told him she had been raped by one of Elam’s friends.

After a lengthy — and painful — court battle, where Elam accused his wife of being unfaithful and claimed Bonnie wasn’t his, Susan’s parents persuaded her to stop fighting Elam by promising to look after her and the children.

Elam was held in contempt for refusing to support his own children, and was fined $100 and imprisoned for 30 days as a result. After paying of a further $1200 in debt, his parental rights were legally terminated.

News_Image_File: Publicity ... This screen grab from Elam’s YouTube channel shows some of the topics he discusses. Picture: YouTube.

Since the divorce, Elam has been married — and divorced — twice more. His second wife would not talk to BuzzFeed, while his third wife was too frightened to comment against Elam, saying only: “I never want to have any contact with him again, ever”.

But it took Bonnie some time to realise that despite their initial period of love, Elam was not the father he appeared to be.

At first, Bonnie said being with Elam was like “looking at myself”.

“I saw myself in him from my face to the bend in my elbow. It was weird. Your whole life, you go around not looking like anybody, and all of the sudden your doppelganger is sitting right in front of you.”

During their six year relationship — where Bonnie saw Elam a total of two weeks — cracks began to emerge. Elam was often absent, and grew increasingly bitter against women in his daily battle for men’s rights.

Then, when Elam began living off his girlfriend — “here he is on the internet bashing women, yet he’s living off a woman” — Bonnie realised he was “making excuses”.

The final straw came when Elam, after inviting Bonnie and her family to see his new place, spanked one of her sons because he opened the fridge. Bonnie left, and, aside from an apology made to her on her birthday a few months later, she hasn’t seen Elam since.

“I think it’s weird that he advocates for fathers and he had an opportunity to step up, but the one time something got uncomfortable he bailed. He didn’t fight for me. He should fight for me. I think I’m worth fighting for.”

Elam’s fans have already jumped to his defence on Twitter, saying that women who were “bitchplaining” should be ignored.

This is what life is like when your estranged dad is the face of the Men's Rights Movement: http://t.co/tUoKwDXnvI pic.twitter.com/IHwiPlI5KT — Katie Baker (@katiejmbaker) February 6, 2015

2 sides to every story. What a pity Serwer's story was motivated by hatred rather than truth. http://t.co/1vqITLrqa0 #buzzfeed #feministlies — David King (@strixMHRA) February 6, 2015

To see Elam’s YouTube channel, click here.