At age 28, I ended a 14-year long streak of being in relationships. It was sad, but sorely needed; the entirety of my twenties had been devoted to two women, and I’d been serial-monogamizing since my teens — often discovering the desire for a new commitment before the old one had completely run its course, jumping from sinking ship to sinking ship, and continually passing up other, perhaps healthier opportunities I had made myself unavailable to pursue.

While being with someone for years might suggest you have something figured out, it’s not that hard for two people to stay together out of comfort, or insecurity, and ignore the increasing fights, the growing gnaw of panicked apathy, until something finally triggers the end. Rinse, repeat. Over time I had learned a lot about relationships, but not necessarily about making someone happy — least of all, myself.

Recognizing this unfair and unhealthy pattern of codependency, after the end of my last relationship I resolved to stay single at any cost — both to give myself the growth and fulfillment that only seems possible when one is truly independent, and to work out the personality flaws that have presented challenges in every attempt at commitment over the years.

To that end (and perhaps somewhat counterintuitively) I threw myself on OKC and Tinder, fresh meat to the dating scene, figuring that as long as I could transparently and safely remain uncommitted, at least some wisdom would come from interactions with others. And it has. My heart’s picked up some scuffs in the process, but I’ve given a few myself, and ultimately I’m a lot more confident and comfortable for it.

I was reflecting last night on what I’d learned since starting this experiment, and I came up with a few truisms that have been particularly helpful. If there’s desire, I’ll expound upon them, but I think they stand on their own. We’ll see what the next 7 months brings. (And if you’re responsible for something on this list — thank you.)