Fans didn’t know it at the time, but something was missing from the release of Kesha’s third studio album Rainbow last week: a track called “Emotional” that gets into specifics about her history of abuse with producer and alleged rapist Dr. Luke.

“Emotional” is making rounds online this week after the release of Rainbow in Japan, where the song was added as a bonus track to physical copies of the album. Within the lyrics are confessions of the “Praying” singer’s mental struggles and time spent in rehab.

“I didn’t mean to do this / Didn’t mean to sell out / Got everything I ever thought I wanted / Now I can’t get out,” Kesha sings on the track. Listen below. (We’ve provided two players in case the song is removed from one service or the other.)

https://soundcloud.com/xenia-769589240/kesha-emotional-hq-japanese-bonus-track

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The track sees Kesha analyzing and reflecting on failed attempts to find her spot in the industry and become her own artist despite heavy pressure from the people around her, like Dr. Luke. She even admits to “selling out.” Check out the lyrics below, and then try to make any sense as to why this gem wasn’t released in all countries. Could it be that Dr. Luke didn’t want it to spread?

[Intro]

God, I’m only human

Trying to face it all

But I don’t want to get emotional [Verse 1]

It started in November

I started losing my mind

I ended up in rehab

I don’t want to cry

But people can be so mean

And I don’t understand why

And when they say I can’t sing

I just want to die [Pre-Chorus]

Trying to keep my shit together

When will this get any better?

I’m trying so hard not to break down [Chorus]

God, I’m only human

Trying to face it all

But I don’t want to get emotional

Walking on a tightrope

Trying not to fall

But I don’t want to get emotional [Verse 2]

I didn’t mean to do this

Didn’t mean to sell out

Got everything I ever thought I wanted

Now I can’t get out

I saw the love of my life

Leave me for his new wife

Stab me right in the heart

With a fucking knife [Pre-Chorus]

Trying to keep my shit together

When will this get any better?

I’m trying so hard not to break down [Chorus]

God, I’m only human

Trying to face it all

But I don’t want to get emotional

Walking on a tightrope

Trying not to fall

But I don’t want to get emotional

Oh, oh, oh [Bridge]

I’m driving back home through the canyon

There’s only so much that I can’t handle

Nobody knows it, nobody knows it

I’ve never shown it, I’ve never shown it

I’m supposed to be the girl that never does this

I’m supposed to be some party girl that stands for nothing

Nobody knows it, nobody knows it

I’m about to lose it, I’m about to lose it [Chorus]

God, I’m only human

Trying to face it all

But I don’t want to get emotional

Walking on a tightrope

Trying not to fall

But I don’t want to get emotional

“The instrumental production is eerie, glitchy, and sad, this is seriously a masterpiece. It honestly could’ve been the lead single without the cussing,” said a fan who shared the track on popular music website GagaDaily.

We’re trying not to get emotional, but “Emotional” is so good! Let us know if you agree in the comments below.