Rare is the occasion where I feel I have to "spoil" my review before it goes live, but I feel it's my civic duty to warn you not to buy AMY on Xbox Live today. Despite very promising trailers and details, it turns out that AMY is already a shoe-in for the worst game of the year.

I could talk about the fact that AMY's sparsely spread checkpoints do not save your game progress (it only saves by chapter and there are five chapters), I could talk about the controls that make characters stick to walls and random bits of floor, I could talk about stealth gameplay that appears to be inspired by Vampire f*cking Rain ... but I don't want to just write the entire review here.

Basically, imagine everything you hated about survival horror, minus anything you might have loved. That's AMY. It would crush my soul to think of anybody purchasing this, because it is, as far as I'm concerned, outright theft to charge $10 for this.

A review will come once I find a way to fight through this horrific joke of a game. In the meantime, you can download the trial and see it for yourself. The one good thing I can say about AMY is that even the introductory cutscene is a stuttering load of poorly animated shit, so at least it's not trying to completely fool you.