The act of meeting someone and deciding that you'd really like to fill them with or be filled by their babies is something everyone on Earth is familiar with. In fact, it might be the most fundamental sensation the universe knows: It's what doesn't separate us from the animals.

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"Gurl, I'm gonna crawl out of the surf and fertilize the clutch of eggs you laid in the sand so hard."

But it turns out that this universal impulse of "sticking it to each other" has been wrapped up in all sorts of cultural baggage and ceremony, which can vary significantly depending on which part of the world you're trying to do your sticking in. And to illustrate how weird we can make this really basic thing, allow me to now, with great seriousness and solemnity and just the bare minimum of mocking other cultures, present some of the oddest dating problems (and solutions) from around the world.

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