This euthanized crematorium made a motherfucking extra $300 million in China and other countries, making the possibility of a sequel suddenly very, very real. Same goes for the Need For Speed film, which bombed in the US, but did so well elsewhere that three different Chinese companies are funding the sequel. This is why lukewarm films like Ant-Man are suddenly being pushed to the front of the line for sequels. America alone no longer dictates what goes on in American cinema.

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Don't believe me? Consider that at 97 percent, Mad Max: Fury Road is currently the highest-rated film on Rotten Tomatoes for 2015. It made its entire production budget back in the US box office, and was the #1 grossing Blu-ray release by a wide margin. There should be no question that Fury Road would get another installment. And yet George Miller has announced that he's in rocky negotiations with Warner Brothers over getting a sequel approved, citing the numerous struggles they went through to get the first film made. The fact is that, despite being the most tubular fucking thing to happen in 2015, Fury Road didn't make as much money as fucking Terminator Genisys, in large part because it didn't play in China -- presumably because the censors somehow found something to object to in it.

Warner Bros.

"Live, die, live again? Sounds like zombiism ..."

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This is the harrowing disaster we live in. Even the most action-packed fiascos are on thin ice if they aren't morally sterilized and easily translatable. It would be easy to blame the Chinese for watching such crap, but think about America's relationship with kung-fu and giant monster flicks. No one wants to watch an aesthetically challenging foreign film that's dialogue-heavy or requires an iota of understanding of cultural context; we'd much rather eat each other's flaming dumpster pets instead.

David is available for birthday parties or company events to sit and yell about how movies suck now. Contact him on Twitter.

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