Roleplaying games are, essentially, nothing but a vessel for storytelling. An RPG with no constraints on where to explore its narrative. Imagine any of the Mass Effect games. Now imagine that its all inside you, and a couple of other people, that this story takes place. Collectively, all of you can choose where to take these stories.

That’s why it’s so darn important to use a system that enhances which story you want to tell. D&D is a good gateway, but eventually, as focal point change from combat to interactions, it’s nice to have systems that underscore whatever feelings you want to emphasize. To that end, I will reluctantly relent, that F.A.T.A.L. is a good system if you want to strike players with a fear of God. Nothing sends you into fervent praying like a shadow emerging from a murky corner, wielding a rock-hard 20″ dick.

It’s also an effective tool if you’ve ever wanted to learn the delicate skill of being a sexist asshole while thinking yourself safe and secure behind a weak-ass defense. We touched upon this in the last episode, and since we’re not going to cover it in too much detail further, I’ve added some of the best bits here. There are two pages, describing gender culture in Byron’s world, all of which boils down to Men and women are equal. Men are better. Women are disgusting and need to be punished. But men and women are equal. Please don’t hit me.

Women are inferior. How in the world does this sound like a fun choice for your players to experience? As a woman, you don’t go out adventuring. You stay the fuck home – or as Byron puts it:

Let’s talk about D&D again. Theiflings, for those uninitiated, is a race of half-demon spawns. Opinions on these creatures vary, while commonfolk treats them warily. This is, in my opinion, a great way of handling stuff like this. Looks and gestures can be described without interfering with actual roleplay too much. Should a Theifling-player so desire, they can engage and call out stuff like this, in turn letting them direct how much this bigoted behavior will impact your shared story? Let’s give Byron a little credit. Surely, it’s nothing more than a gritty medieval fantasy RPG. Men must be suffering too? Haha, no.

So, what does Byron have to say, so he doesn’t appear to be a complete fucking butt-hole?

Wow. I am doing a slow-clap. Well done, you idiot. Women are disgusting, should stay at home, be dominated, and poop out a fuck-ton of children. Men, on the other hand, are handsome, intelligent, capable of managing their emotions and can sell their family to escape debt. But, yes, clearly both genders are equal in this game, Byron. There would be no reason, from a gameplay perspective, to avoid playing a woman. None at all, you fucking nitwit.

Further Perusal

If you enjoy pedantic whining, Nicolai is rewriting Destiny 2.

On the other hand, you could always enjoy a murderously good time with me.

And as always, feel free to download the show so you can carry it around. You know, give it a little air. Show it to some friends. Harass some friends until they watch it. Or maybe go all Melancholic on them, and force them to listen to it, over and over and over…