I just wanted to share a little story from my childhood.

When I was 11 or 12 I was forced into weight watchers (by my mother who spent the entire time back from the first meeting she dragged me to screaming that I was fat) where I learned to effectively starve myself and become terrified of gaining weight. I lost around 50 pounds by eating nothing but yogurt and carrots.

My reward was a horse for losing the weight.

My parents valued my thinness so much they dropped ten thousand dollars on a reward for me. Mind you, I could ride horses just fine at my original weight. I was physically fit and even my doctor said that I was in perfect health (“except for the weight”). My parents just thought that it was a nice reward for me.

However, when I started to gain the weight back and then some, they started to talk about selling my horse because I “obviously don’t care enough about him to stay in shape”. My Grizz is a precious friend to me and even though I tried to lose weight again, it’s very hard. I’ve become so depressed (not only because of that but other issues) that I can barely get out of bed, let alone function and see him.

I know I’m fortunate to get a horse and that I should be grateful for my friend (I am!), but the circumstances make me incredibly sad because I know how much my parents value my thinness. I’ve been told to my face that “fat is unattractive” and in the next breath asked why I think I’m ugly. Tears have been shed over my weight that aren’t mine. And ludicrous gifts have been given to “ensure” that I stay the way they want me to.