Locking a bike to the wrong pole on Burnfield Ave. is sure to grind the gears of the biggest slimeball in the neighbourhood.

It has become Ground Zero in the ongoing feud between cyclists and bike haters, with someone taking it out on riders who lock up to a particular pole on the street, near Ossington Ave. and Dupont St.

Julie Amoroso emailed to say she learned a gooey lesson last summer, when she rode her bike to a friend’s house and fastened it to a signpost in front of 19 Burnfield.

“My bike was fully on the sidewalk, not someone’s lawn,” said Amoroso. “When I came back to my bike later that night, I found the seat and basket covered with thick grease. It looked like caramel.

“Luckily I didn’t sit in it, but I did get a disgusting handful of it. I had to walk my bike home, and it took some effort to clean it.

“My friend and I thought it was weird, but we had no idea who could have done it and if it was a random occurrence. I stopped locking my bike there.

“A couple of days ago, my friend sent me a picture of a sign attached to the same post, warning people not to park their bike there for risk of getting ‘slimed’. It seems I wasn’t the only victim.

To me, this is vandalism. As far as I know we are legally allowed to lock our bikes to that pole.”

Yuck. We’ve written for years about tensions between cyclists and drivers who don’t want to share the road with them, but this makes the situation even stickier.

We went there and found a homemade, laminated sign attached to the pole, with a message that can only be described as unhinged. It warns cyclists to “park here at own risk!

“It has come to our attention that the person who lives here may have lost a loved one in a bike-parking incident. Either that or he/she is a ghostbuster. Either way, if you park here it is liable to get SLIMED. Signed, your friendly neighbourhood messenger, with love for all past-slimed bicycles.”

On the other side of the pole, someone of a more conciliatory bent has put up another sign that says: “We love our bikes and recognize that you do not. Hoping this sign helps to bring peace to the rift. Have a great day!”

We poked around until we found a resident who assured us he is not the culprit, but explained the problem that arouses the slimeball.

The post, to which a no-parking sign is mounted, is beside an alley that leads to parking behind houses on the south side of the street. When cars turn into the alley from eastbound Burnfield, some can’t complete the turn because a bike locked to the pole extends partly across the alley entrance.

He told us that bikes locked to the pole have been knocked to the ground and damaged by the neighbour, adding that many people on the street know who’s responsible.

Loading... Loading... Loading... Loading... Loading... Loading...

STATUS: The pole was put there to hold up a sign warning drivers not to park along the south side, so we’ve asked Allen Pinkerton, who’s in charge of city street signage, if he can arrange to have it moved. It’s our way of letting the air out of a creep’s tires.