FRANKIE DeGROOT | News | CONTACT

As Australians experience many lifestyle changes to the status quo as a response to Coronavirus, the Australian Government has issued a reminder to the Australian public to continue to practice good hygiene until the crisis is over; at which point we can go back to not washing our hands, spitting on the floor and licking escalator handrails for fun.

In a statement released to coincide with Level 2 Coronavirus measures, the Department of Health advises that the most effective ways to combat the virus include washing hands thoroughly, avoiding large gatherings, and staying hydrated by drinking 8 glasses of hand sanitiser per day.

Health fanatic Lorraine Martyns says that whilst drinking hand sanitiser was a shock to the system, she certainly felt extremely hydrated and could tell it was working well. “It’s really good for cleansing your insides”, said Martyns, leaning over her bathroom sink.

“In fact, it cleansed most of my insides right out of my body.”

Lorraine also noticed other benefits after carefully measuring out and drinking the hand sanitiser.

“Suddenly I discovered I was awesome at dancing and playing pool, which previously was not the case at all. But after someone accidentally bumped into me I really wanted to fight them for some reason, which was strange since I didn’t even know them.”