[a]Autechre[/a] records are purchased solely by bald men in expensive anoraks who would masturbate to a car alarm if it was re-mixed by a German. This impenetrable curtain of misanthropic noise – released with an accompanying three-track DVD that features a squabble of hopelessly pretentious video “interpretations” – is typical of the menopausal electro-manglers’ dogged refusal to bow to convention and produce anything of interest to anyone not either a) bald or b) German. It bleeps. It skronks. It krrraaaanks. But mainly, it blows like a ruddy awful hurricane. Remember, kids; if it sounds like a festering hillock of tune-shy bum-wank, it’s because it IS a festering hillock of tune-shy bum-wank. Avoid as you would a bald German.

Sarah Dempster