(I’m about to leave work when a friend of mine calls my number.)

Friend: “Okay, um, I have kind of a weird question.”

Me: “What?”

Friend: “I’m on this dating site, and this guy wants to hook up with me.”

Me: “Okay.”

Friend: “Does the [nickname] mean anything to you?”

Me: “Um…that’s my ex’s e-mail address.”

Friend: “And, he’s from [town], Michigan?”

Me: “Yeah.”

Friend: “Your ex wants to date me. What now?”

Me: “This is just too weird.”

(I look at her profile picture. My ex had once confessed to dating me because I had a better rack than the prettier girls he knew on campus. I’m a 38DD. My friend is more well-endowed.)

Me: “I think I know why.”