I had recently went to Big Sur with my boyfriend, and for those who don’t live in California, it’s an extremely beautiful place on a coast line like you’ve never seen! Needless to say I fell in love with that place like many do. Anyways, I showed my aunt a few pictures from there and she said how she would love to go there so about 5 days later the weather was great so we headed out there. It’s almost an hour away. So we get to this bridge called Bixby Creek Bridge where many have pulled over to take photos of its architecture and the beach. Very far below you can see water so clear blue and I could see footprint in the sand down there and thought “Yes! There must be a way down!” And I see this girl go down a trail. The cliff is so steep you couldn’t see very far down the trail so when she started on the trail she disappeared from sight. But I thought to myself ‘if she can do it so can I.” So I head down much slower than her and about half way down the trail gets much steeper and there isn’t anything to hold on to but I think to myself ‘people must go down this trail it’s fine just take your time’ and I get a few steps more before my foot slid from under me and I landed on my right side sliding down the mountain!! I started to grab for anything to stop me from sliding but there wasn’t much. I felt hurt from scraping myself all up and just laid there for a few seconds. I noticed I had tore up my fingernails grasping for leverage and they were now bleeding and filled with dirt. I tried to get up but the dirt beneath me was sliding. I said to myself “okay relax look around what can you grab?” There was rocks beside me but when I grabbed them they broke and I slid more and more! My feet were now hanging off the edge and I was afraid to move. Afraid to make it worse. My aunt had not followed me down on the trail so I was alone! I started to realize I need someone to help me! I started yelling “HELP!! HELP!!” After about a minute the girl who had gone down the trail in front of me comes up. I didn’t notice her at first. She said “um hello? Are you okay?” I said “No I can’t get myself up I’m sliding can you please help me?!” and she like “oh my god hold on lemme come closer.” But there was no where for her to step it was all loose dirt. She said “just wait don’t move I’m going to get help.” She ran quickly up the trail. I started thing about my dad who had recently passed away. I had to ask myself “am I going to see him today?” How bad will it hurt to fall? Who will find my body? I’ll never see my friend have her baby. Never see my boyfriends smile hear my uncles voice I’m gonna break my dogs heart this is such a stupid way to die!! Big Sur is kinda far out there’s not even reception to call 911!! Finally, the girl comes back with 2 guys and they were like oh shit! She’s like I know I wish we had a rope! I said “please help me I’m sliding!!” He said “yes we’re going to but we have to be careful cause we don’t want to slide too cause then we will both fall.” So slowly they came down closer to me. Rocks were sliding down from them to my face but that was the least of my problems! He found a bush about 5 feet away from me that was rooted on the side of the cliff he stomped on it repeatedly to make sure it was safe. I asked him “Do you think I’ll die if I fall from here??” He said “NO! Cause I’m not going to let you fall!” He was now standing on the rooted bush. His friend grabbed his arm, standing in a more stable place above, and said to him “I got you.” The guy on the bush then grabbed my hand and when I felt secure with our grip I tried positioning my body in a way towards him, scared to let go of the rock I was holding. He started pulling me to him. I lifted my knees to try and walk on sliding dirt and he yanked me towards him and I quickly put my foot next to his and felt so much relief! I was shaking and sweaty and dirty I just started saying “oh my god thank you guys! I’m such and idiot! thank you thank you!!” He said “no worries accidents happen just take your time!” He could tell I was very shaken up. I was technically safe now but still shaking with fear. I felt like I couldn’t catch my breath. I slowly made my way back up the trail with one guy in front of me guiding and offering his hand to help me. The other was coming up the trail behind me. I thanked them again I could thank them a million times! It’s not a little thing they did for me. They saved my life!! They could have fell as well or went to get others to help me. Hell, they could have left me there!! But they didn’t. I thank God for them! When I called for help only the girl on the trail came. My aunt was surprised and asked me “what happened to you?? Are you okay??” as she brushed of my clothing. I said yes. I didn’t feel okay but I was alive at least! I was in shock I think. I had it in my head that I was not coming back up that cliff. I’ve been dealing with depression since June when my dad passed and have unfortunately had serious thoughts of suicide. Thinking why am I here what am I living for? Just so much pain I couldn’t bare. Hanging off that cliff I asked myself “Is this what you wanted? To die?” Hanging off that cliff I wanted to LIVE!!!! I had begged God to take me before. Begged him to end my depression end my heartache end my life. It made me think “hmm does god actually listen? Is this some kind of joke he’s playing on me??” Just goes to show how unpredictable life is. No one ever thinks those type of bad things will happen to them. We’re all such narcissist that we all think ‘oh that couldn’t happen to me’ or ‘if I speed I won’t get a ticket” or ‘I can smoke and I won’t get cancer’ Tomorrow is not a given. It is a gift. So tell your family you love them. Spend extra time with your dog. Look at your boyfriend like you won’t see him again cause you might not. Hanging off the cliff I realized how much I had to live for. And I’m gonna do it!! I’m gonna live like there’s no tomorrow and not sweat the small stuff and enjoy the moments that I still get to be here.

With good vibes only

Lena