I am sorry.

I owe the Overwatch Community, Lutional, and Eddy, Weagal and Freedo, the creators behind the Youtube Channel YourOverwatch, an apology, for being unable to handle my emotions and recklessly offending and hurting people who didn't deserve it.



In early 2017 when I first started making content for Overwatch, I created a Discord server for the people who were interested in my work and me. It quickly turned into an echo-chamber, surrounding me with people who agreed with everything I said, complimenting me and my work, leading to me thinking that I couldn't be wrong. They liked my videos, and I was utterly incapable of handling praise reasonably. It got to my head very rapidly, and I wasn't able to control my emotions. I lost all humility, and I lost any respect for other people's opinions.



This delusion led me to make deeply hurtful comments about the creators behind YourOverwatch as well as Lutional. YourOverwatch created content similar to mine, and as my arrogance increased, so did my negative feelings towards them because I thought I knew it all until I lost all inhibition and made the biggest mistake of my life. I made inappropriate statements about the holocaust, incredibly offensive insults about the work that YourOverwatch had done, and attacked Lutional for disliking my content.



For those of you who haven't seen the screenshots yet, please read through them here. What I wrote is disturbing and offensive, please make sure that you are ready for it before reading through it. https://imgur.com/a/kGCtQtA



At the time, I truly thought I could do nothing wrong, that I could never be wrong, that I could say anything I want, but looking back on it, I now realize that I wasn't ready for any of that. I wasn't ready to criticize other people's work; I wasn't ready to handle feedback; I wasn't ready to call myself a professional coach. I was stubborn, arrogant, and acted like a psychopathic child. It wasn't about making educational content anymore, it was all about feeding my ego, shutting other people down, ignoring constructive criticism, and showing no respect for anyone else.



But nothing I say now can undo the damage that I did back then. I cannot undo the hurt I have brought to all the victims of Nazism and the holocaust, I cannot undo what I said about Lutional, and I cannot undo all the hate that YourOverwatch received after trying to start a witchhunt against them. I can't go back in time and teach my past self a lesson, because I am sure he wouldn't have listened and kept on thinking he was in the right. This wasn't the fault of anyone but myself, and I am disgusted at what I said. It's my fault that I let it all get to my head, it's my fault that I thought me being German would somehow make what I said any less appalling, and it's my fault for not properly apologizing sooner. I have offended people with disabilities, I have hurt people who have suffered the consequences of racism, the holocaust, and neo-nazism, and I have disappointed the people who thought that I was better than that.



I am deeply sorry Freedo, Weagal, and Eddy, for everything I have said about you. I am sorry, Lutional, for the horrendous insults I threw at you. I am sorry to the entire Overwatch Community, for exposing you to all this hatred and negativity. I am sorry to everyone who watched or is still watching my content, for disappointing you.



I cannot undo the damage I did. However, I can contribute to creating a world where no one will have to suffer from the negative consequences of racism, discrimination, and antisemitism.



"Hand in Hand gegen Rassismus" (http://hand-in-hand-gegen-rassismus.de/aufruf/) (English: "Together against Racism") is a German charity organization that advocates for human rights and equality, and works on educating the public about racism and the damage it has done and will continue to do to minorities. I have donated 300€ to "Hand in Hand gegen Rassismus" (https://imgur.com/a/ITZYDpS), I know that this won't bring me absolution, and I know that this donation won't change the world or undo any of the damage that I have caused. However, I hope that this donation will make sure that at least one person out there won't have to suffer the hate and negativity that I was a part of. All I can do is ask for forgiveness and accept that to some of you, my past actions are unforgivable.

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