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Anupa and I have decided to not have children. Ever. We’re damn sure even after 8 years of marriage. A while ago, she showed symptoms of endometriosis – a very common problem affecting women in general (thank god I’m not a woman!). One procedure that has a chance to provide a certain amount of relief is sterilization. It’s not a sure shot, and the pain could return but since we had nothing to lose, what the heck…why not? We kill two birds with one stone. No danger of ever getting pregnant again!

Unfortunately, we found that gynecologists are universally reluctant to perform this trivial surgery that millions of woman benefit from every year. Were there medical risks? No! Were they unqualified to do it? No! Were there laws against sterilization? No! So what’s the hangup?

The answer: We don’t have kids.

Digging a bit deeper, we found that their “ethics” prevent them from carrying out the procedure on childfree couples, even when they have no intention of conceiving in the future. The question is – whose ethics? And why are they imposing their ethics on others?

We do not hire them to make moral judgments and to shove their version of ethics down our throat.

Why do we go to a doctor? For medical knowledge and expertise. We visit and pay them for their superior medical training, judgment, and understanding about how the body works. For their skill at surgery and fixing stuff that goes wrong with us. We do not hire them to make moral judgments and to shove their version of ethics down our throat.

The overwhelming concern seems to be “What if you want to have kids later on?” As if this is some revolutionary thought we haven’t had before. As if we’ve just been coasting along one day at a time for 8 years, never once asking ourselves “Do we want to have children in the future?” What arrogance! What hubris!

And just to be clear – if we do wish to have children at a later date, then that is our cross to bear. We made the decision to get ourselves sterlized. And we live with the consequences. Just like if I sign a contract today selling my house and land, I can’t come back 20 years later and say “Oh, I changed my mind. Give it back!”. A decision is a decision. What’s done is done. And as long as we, as adults, make the choice with full information at our fingertips, then the consequences of that choice belong to us and no one else.

What right does a doctor have to interfere in this process? Next, we’ll have shopkeepers refusing to sell condoms to childfree couples because in their view, having children is all important! Countries have laws against such discrimination, and such a refusal will run afoul of them immediately.

And is this not discrimination against childfree couples? Why should we of everyone else, be singled out for not being able to receive the benefits of sterilization? And it actually helps with endometriosis!

I really think we need to re-evaluate how the medial profession works. A doctor’s job is to provide the patient with full information regarding the procedure – the probabilities of complications, risks, and benefits to the best of their knowledge. The decision to go ahead with the procedure should be left to the patient. We don’t visit a doctor for their superior moral judgment. That’s not their forte.

Let doctors use their morals on their own bodies if they want. But they have no right to shove those morals down the throats of others.