Last week I came face to face with my own bias and I was left with a deep sense of regret and shame. I consider myself an ardent supporter of women’s rights and being a survivor of sexual violence myself, one would think that I would have rushed to believe the women that Jian Ghomeshi allegedly sexually assaulted. But I did not. In fact, I doubted their credibility. And for this, I am ashamed.

When I read Ghomeshi’s Facebook post, I sided with him, believing that this 20-something-year-old woman was in fact, as he described, “a jilted ex-girlfriend.” It is no secret that Jian is a powerful, wealthy Canadian celebrity and I imagined a scorned ex-lover with an agenda to destroy his reputation.

I pictured her as a beautiful model or a socialite, maybe someone who didn’t get her way and was now spewing defamatory material to get back at him. Maybe she wanted a relationship. Maybe she wanted money. When other women anonymously reported similar sexual attacks by Ghomeshi, I dismissed their claims, largely because they were anonymous and their anonymity somehow made their statements less real and less credible, at least in my mind.

Then we heard from Canadian Actress Lucy DeCoutere, who came forward with details of her alleged assault by Ghomeshi. I started to become more skeptical of my own previous presumptions. On Thursday I read the piece by author and lawyer Reva Seth, who gave insight into what a sexual encounter with Jian was like, writing that “it was like he became a different person . . . He was super angry, almost frenzied and disassociated.”

I remember turning to my housemate and saying, “It’s not looking good for Jian. I think he might be guilty.” He inquired, “Why do you think that now?” I responded, “Because this lawyer who was clearly more powerful than him back in the day has no reason to lie. She is happily married with kids, and she is coming out and saying what he did to her. And what about that actress? She clearly doesn’t need fame or money. She already has those things. She doesn’t really have a reason to lie.”

And then it struck me. I chose to believe an actress and a lawyer but not the anonymous women who were likely brutalized by Jian Ghomeshi. Why? Because the actress and the lawyer came from professions associated with fame, money and power. Their occupations, marital status and lack of anonymity gave them more credence. And that is when an unsettling feeling consumed me. I was part of the problem.

We all have biases and these biases shape our world view and the manner in which we absorb and analyze information. I learned that I am more likely to believe women who wield more power by virtue of their income or profession. I am more likely to believe a woman who comes out and without anonymity says that she experienced sexual violence. The fact that in my 28 years I have never openly come out and declared that I was sexually abused by a teacher as a child — that I myself have remained silent and anonymous — never seemed to cross my mind when I constructed Jian’s anonymous victims as women with an agenda and no credibility.

As a lawyer, I believe in due process. I believe in the power of the law. I believe that in Canadian society we do right by presuming a person is innocent until proven guilty. Jian Ghomeshi should have his day in court; he is entitled to that.

But I am guilty for letting my bias be so strong that I chose to look the other way when the first allegations came out. I am guilty for not being more critical. And for that, I am sorry.

Jia Junaid is a lawyer and human rights activist. Based in Mississauga, she uses her law firm, Atlas Law, as a platform to deliver legal services to marginalized groups.

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