Scott Walker is prepared to veto your dumb sandwich.

The Republican presidential candidate made news when Buzzfeed unearthed a 1998 bill Walker co-authored, which attempted to define what constitutes a sandwich in Wisconsin.

According to the bill:

"Sandwich" means food that consists of a filling; such as meat, cheese or a savory mixture; that is placed on a slice, or between 2 slices; of a variety of bread or something that takes the place of bread; such as a roll, croissant or bagel. "Sandwich" includes, but is not limited to, pita sandwiches, gyros and pocket sandwiches. "Sandwich" does not include burritos, tacos, enchiladas, chimichangas, hors d'oeuvres, canapes, egg rolls, cookies, cakes, pies and similar desserts and pastries and food that is sold frozen.

Thankfully this bill didn't pass. There are, of course, several things wrong with this narrow excuse of a definition.

See also: 10 delicious breakfast sandwich combos you have to try

1. Only one or two slices of bread? Give me a break.

I'm positively naked without my third slice of bread Image: Flickr, Erik Forsberg

Where does that leave the room service classic, the club sandwich? A club sandwich's integrity relies on that third thin, crustless piece of white bread in between layers of bacon, turkey, tomatoes, et al. Without that third slice of bread in the middle, you've got a dressed up turkey BLT. For shame.

2. Frozen food can't be sandwiches? Exhibit A: technology.

Who cares that this sandwich is Frozen? Let it go. Image: Flickr, Austin Kirk

How dare you, Mr. Walker. Frozen food is a tenet of modern sandwich-hood for both convenience and ingenuity. Has he never heard of frozen breakfast sandwiches or the squishy, scary, oddly addictive treats known as Uncrustables? (OK, maybe not in 1998.) And what about putting frozen food in sandwiches? Throw some Ore Ida fries in a potato roll with some pulled pork and an egg, and hello hangover cure.

3. Oh really? Sandwiches must have a savory filling? Say that to my face.

The day that you got this in your lunch at school, you were #winning

Later, fluffernutter. Good luck next time, Nutella. Don't even try, peanut butter/honey or cream cheese/jelly. You are not worthy of sandwich status.

4. Gyros count as sandwiches but burritos do not? *punches self in neck*

This is serious sandwich discrimination. Both foods are rolled in a flatbread, contain meat, vegetables and assorted condiments, and may be enjoyed with equal fervor at 11 a.m. or 11 p.m. If you discount burritos, fine, but gyros are too close to their Mexican cousins who got left in the cold. Both or neither, bud.

5. If it involves a cookie, it's not a sandwich? Tell that to Oreo and good luck with that.

Sorry Grandma - you can't call these sandwich cookies any more.

Next you'll be saying you can't dunk sandwiches in milk. Watch me.