No, the kiss does not involve Rey

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By David Futrelle

Over on the right-wing culture war blog One Angry Gamer, the highly excitable Billy D is absolutely losing it over a lesbian kiss in Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker. Because apparently it doesn’t correctly represent the demographic realities of Dagobah or Tatooine or wherever the movie is set (I really haven’t been paying much attention).

Take it away, Billy boy:

Despite making up a tiny minority of the population, and having practically zero mass-market buying power, corporations and large brands continue to foist upon the general public niche fetishes to indoctrinate and normalize aberrant behavior. In a rush to maintain their trend of cutting out the legs of the Star Wars brand from beneath itself, Disney and director J.J. Abrams followed through with including an LGBT kissing scene in Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker.

The kiss doesn’t even involve any of the main female characters in the film like Rey or Princess Leia or Lt Commander Bleep Bloop from the Grbsnort Sector; it’s a brief “celebratory kiss” between two lady rebels.

But Billy is so pig-biting mad over this fleeting kiss that he launches a weird attack on the authoritarian government of China for not being authoritarian enough — because it chose not to censor the scene in versions of the film shown in that country.

To make matters worse, Disney managed to sneak the scene into the Chinese version of Star Wars: Rise of Skywalker … [T]he Ministry of Culture and its off-shoot, the Ministry of Culture [sic], apparently did not require Disney to make any edits to the scene, despite China having laws prohibiting the promotion of LGBTQIA+ content .

He then shares some of what appear to be his own sexual fantasies, which were actually sort of hot:

[M]aybe China is a-okay with lesbians lip-locking on the big screen but hate it when two half-naked men are racing their tongues up and down each other’s sweaty bodies like a Dodge Demon and a Camaro SS racing up and down a drag strip?

He concludes by comparing LGBTQ people to Nazis.

[I]f this becomes a trend, and China begins allowing LGBTQIA+ propaganda into films distributed across the mainland, then it’s yet another region brought to yield under the boot-heel of the Rainbow Reich.

Let’s get this straight (no pun intended): The government of China is currently rounding up hundreds of thousands of Uyghurs and other Muslims and putting them in concentration camps — sorry, “re-education camps” — but it’s the Culture Ministry’s act of non-censorship of a kiss in a PG-13-rated Disney film that makes Billy think of fascism.

I have to say, I did Nazi that one coming.

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