Noel Edmonds’ return to daytime TV is cringe-tastic No fun was ever had in one of those strange, knock-off shops that seem to do a bit of everything: […]

No fun was ever had in one of those strange, knock-off shops that seem to do a bit of everything: from high-end tinned goods to the cheapest bargain-bin hardware.

The same can be said for Cheap Cheap Cheap, a new retail-based TV vehicle for Noel Edmonds.

It’s like an acid trip in the stockroom of a Luton Poundstretcher.

i's TV newsletter: what you should watch next Email address is invalid Email address is invalid Thank you for subscribing! Sorry, there was a problem with your subscription.

A ‘fresh’ take on the game show

The ‘inventive’ format sees Edmonds take the standard quiz setup and meld it with the daft jokes and awkward tension of a bad ’70s sitcom.

Players are tasked with picking the cheapest item in a line-up of three similar, supermarket products.

Get it right, and they move towards a jackpot of £25,000. Get it wrong, and they leave empty handed.

It’s that simple. It’s that mundane.

Baffling characters

The rasping, jolly titles introduce us to a weird band of ill-conceived characters who serve no real purpose than to stretch each episode to an hour’s run-time.

One seems to exist only to make innuendos about her ‘private parts’ as she dashes off for a yoga session.

The saving grace is Keith, a delivery driver who – once you get past the fact he was probably devised as a thinly-veiled attack on “bloody delivery drivers, am I right?!” – deals with pretend calls on his Bluetooth headset with at least some semblance of comic timing.

The others? Not so much.

The most awkward hour on TV?

That would be jarring enough, but rather than opt for a live studio audience, ‘Noel’s Store’ houses only the presenter, the ghastly characters, and the 10 or so contestants.

Without a chuckling audience to fill the dead air between quips, it’s left down to the participants – awaiting their turn on chairs seemingly salvaged from a skip outside a dentist’s surgery – to guffaw with noticeable insincerity at the slightest hint of an off-the-cuff remark.

Noel invites a pair of players currently at the podium to introduce each other.

“This is my mate,” gushes Steve from Chesterfield, trying his best to avoid eye contact with anyone in the room. “He’s a young looking 40-year old.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=02DJtcz4G8c

Cheap Cheap Cheap would instantly take on the kind of cult status afforded to other watchable daytime game shows (indeed, Deal or No Deal springs to mind) if it wasn’t so inanely dull.

Watching two police officers debate the price of scented candles is just as tedious as it sounds.

A monotony broken only by its cringe-worthy ‘comedy’.

Cheap Cheap Cheap airs weekdays at 3pm on Channel 4