I have always fantasised about being spanked. Then one day, several years ago, my girlfriend gave me a few playful smacks on the bottom. I dared her to put me across her knee. She did and we both enjoyed it.

Things carried on from there. After a few more spankings with her bare hand, we bought a wooden paddle from a sex shop. It really stings, and after a good spanking with it I find sitting down very uncomfortable for the next few hours.

Spanking sometimes leads to intercourse, but is also an erotic act in itself. I enjoy the loss of power: when I am across my girlfriend’s knee I feel a sense of relief, of not having to pretend that I am a big, strong man.

As well as being intimate, spanking has benefited our relationship. One morning, I was in a grumpy mood and snapped at my girlfriend. It could have led to a row, but instead of yelling back at me she gave me several hard smacks on the seat of my underpants (all I was wearing) and said, “There’s no need to shout, I’ll put you across my knee if you don’t watch out!” That prevented an argument.

In popular culture it often seems to be the man who spanks his female partner, but I follow several blogs by couples where the woman spanks the man. As well as spanking for erotic purposes, some say they use it as discipline to make sure he does his fair share of the chores.

I’m all for anything that combats patriarchal attitudes. When I was younger, I hid my interest in being spanked for fear of being laughed at, but it’s fun to be submissive.

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