“Miss Jones!” John cried desperately. “What have you done?!”

The old witch shrugged as she tucked her wand back into her sleeve. “Nothing to worry about dear, just a simple stunning spell. She should wake up in a few minutes.”

“Assuming she didn’t hit her head too hard on the floor…” Addie smirked slightly as she spoke.

John felt certain he would have been pulling out his hair, if he’d had any. “Addie, please! Do not joke about the health of my Juniper! This is a disaster…” In all his hundreds of years, he’d never felt more panicked than he did in that moment.

The vampire rolled her eyes. “John, relax, okay? I’m sure she’ll be fine.”

“Fine?! She has seen me in my true form! How will I ever explain this to her?”

Addie remained completely unconcerned. “Can’t you just do that memory wipe thing you do on those little playthings of yours?”

“Test subjects!” He corrected her.

“Whatever.”

John shook his head. “It is much too dangerous… I do not have full control over how much information is erased.”

“So what? It would be chance to start over, right? Nothing wrong with that…”

“Clearly this isn’t something John feels comfortable with.” Miss Jones interjected. “Let’s not pressure the poor thing.”

I must think of something! The alien fought to calm himself enough to think straight, but failed horribly. Now John understood why his people had always discouraged strong emotional attachment. Clearly it had a negative impact on his brain’s processing ability.

“Alright, crazy idea time.” Addie continued. “What if…We don’t do anything? I mean, is it really the end of the world if she learns the truth? None of us were too concerned with secrecy when she first moved in…”

“Well, yes.” Miss Jones agreed. “But that was before we understood that she’s….” She appeared to be struggling to find the right word. “Different.”

“Ha!” A harsh laugh passed Addie’s lips. “And by ‘different’ you mean dense as hell?”

“Do not speak of Juniper like that!” John cried. He looked down at her beautiful, unconscious form and the small puddle of saliva that now pooled beneath her cheek. “She sees this world in a way no one else does. And there is nothing wrong with that.”

Before either woman could reply, a soft groan came from the body on the floor.

“She’s waking! We must do something!”

“Let’s not panic.” Miss Jones’ voice was calm. “She had quite a few drinks, right?”

John nodded. “Yes, she has consumed approximately 4 ounces of alcohol in the past hour. By my calculations, her current blood alcohol content should be .09 percent.”

“Perfect! We’ll just say she had a little too much to drink and bring her back home. It shouldn’t be too hard to convince her she was imagining things. Problem solved!” The green woman smiled.

“I… I don’t know.” John muttered uncertainly. By his calculations, Miss Jones’ plan had an 83% probability of success… Perhaps the risk would not be too great? He looked down at Juniper, who began stirring in her sleep yet again.

“She… She was so excited at the prospect of Jane and John meeting each other.” The alien continued sadly. “She wanted them to sing a duet together… I cannot fail her.” His voice was suddenly hard. “I can’t! I must make her happy.”

Addie’s eyes widened. “John… Are you insane?!”

“Perhaps… I am in love!” He replied. “Are they not the same thing?”

The two women exchanged a brief look.

“What was it you said before, Addie?” Miss Jones asked. “Something about a power that might be able to help?”

The vampire glanced at John for a moment. “God this is just so pathetic.” She laughed softly. “Alright, you win. I’ll give it a try… But I can’t promise anything, John. This takes a lot of concentration… I’m not sure how long I can keep it going.”

“Just one song. Please.” John begged. “Then we will bring her home as Miss Jones suggested.”

Addie shrugged. “What the hell, let’s try it! So… Miss Jones, you’re gonna be our stand-in for Jane, I guess?”

“Oh! Um… I suppose I’ll have to, huh?” Her uncertainty was apparent as she spoke.

“I have full confidence in you, Miss Jones.” John assured her. “You have known me for several years now. Surely you will have no trouble imitating my body language and speaking habits.”

“So… speak like I’m reading from a science textbook, basically?”

Before John could reply, they heard a soft groan from behind them as Juniper slowly rose to her feet.

“Alright…” Addie muttered. “Showtime.”

“Juniper? Are you alright?” John rushed to her side immediately, silently hoping that Addie’s mind control powers were already in effect.

“John?” The young woman held her head for a moment. “I… I think I’m okay. I just… I feel funny.”

“I believe you have consumed too much alcohol. Please allow Jane and I to accompany you to a seat.” He gave Miss Jones a significant look.

The old woman hesitated for a moment. “Um… Uh… Yes! I am Jane. That’s me.” She nodded. “Let’s… Let’s go this way… Er… I mean… Let us… use our legs to, um… exit the room?” She gestured toward the door that led back to the bar as she spoke.

Juniper nodded. “Y-yeah… Okay.”

Without another word she followed, just as she was told, with Addie tagging along close behind.

“Here you go, sweetie.” Miss Jones helped lower Juniper into one of the chairs. “Now let’s see if we can grab you a glass of water, okay? Just take it slow.”

“Is everything okay, Jane?” Juniper mumbled. “You’re talking really funny…”

John stepped forward quickly, shooting Miss Jones a brief look. He was already beginning to regret his decision to follow through with this plan. “I believe Jane is simply concerned.” He assured Juniper gently. “You seemed to lose consciousness without warning. It was quite a shock.”

Juniper nodded. “I’m still not sure what happened… I went to the bathroom to look for you and Jane… And I saw Addie there… But she wasn’t herself. She was… Different. Creepy.” She glanced toward the other woman as she spoke. “And there was an alien too! With big black eyes and pointy ears… It was so scary!” Juniper shuddered slightly, and John felt his heart sink at the sight. “But I think the worst part was this scary green ogre lady! She was hideous!”

“Excuse me?!”

“Sorry, Jane… I didn’t mean to upset you. I’m a lot better now.” Juniper rose to her feet and reached out, brushing her hand gently against Miss Jones’ cheek. “I’m sorry I made you worried…”

“What the hell?” Jimmy muttered in amusement as he drew closer to the others.

Addie never took her eyes off Juniper. “Don’t ask.” She whispered back.

“Ahem!” John cleared his throat loudly. “Juniper, I believe you wanted Jane and I to sing a song together?”

Juniper finally broke away at John’s words. “Ooh, yes!” The young woman swayed slightly on her feet as she spoke. Whether it was from the alcohol, the mind control, or Miss Jones’ stunning spell, John was not entirely certain. “Whoops!” With a giggle, she dropped back into her chair.

“Very well, Jane… Shall we?”

Miss Jones wiped Juniper’s lipstick from her face and nodded.

“What? M-Miss Jones…? But… Jane…? Where’d Jane go?!”

John noticed something was wrong almost immediately. He practically dropped the microphone and beside him, Miss Jones did the same. Oh Stars… What’s happening!

“Addie, do something!”

The vampire shook her head, her hand still over her baby bump. “The little guy’s digging into my ribs… I can’t focus.” She winced.

“Someone’s gotta tell me what’s going on!” Junpier cried, her words slurring slightly. “Where’s Jane? Why’s everybody acting so weird?!”

John was almost certain he was going to vomit. “Jimmy, please… Help!” He cried out desperately.

Jimmy smirked as he rose to his feet. “‘Help’, huh? You asked for it…” He muttered, turning his attention toward Juniper.

“Juniper!” John literally leapt off the stage and rushed to her side. “What happened?!”

“Well, don’t look at me!” A voice called from over his shoulder. “I’m innocent this time!”

It was Jimmy who finally stepped forward. “You said to ‘help’, right?” He asked with a shrug. “You weren’t very specific…”

“What did you do?!”

“I decided to help Juniper finally see what’s right before her eyes… Though it seems it was too much for her weak human mind to take.” He shrugged.

John was not a violent individual, but in that moment, he wanted nothing more than to strike Jimmy’s smug face. Fortunately, his concern for Juniper won out, in the end.

“We must get her home… Miss Jones, are you willing to assist me?”

The old woman shook her head. “Afraid my back’s not cut out for heavy lifting. Sorry, dear… But I can be there for moral support?”

John simply sighed. “Very well.”

“So… What do we do now?” John asked as he closed Juniper’s bedroom door behind him.

Miss Jones smiled. “Not much we can do… We go home, go to sleep, and claim ignorance if Juniper calls us tomorrow.” She chuckled softly. “As long as Jimmy and Addie play along, we can pass this whole thing off as a dream.”

“Perhaps.” He sighed. “I just wish there were a way to convince her that John and Jane truly met one another. It would make her so happy.” Not to mention help him carry on with his charade… But John kept that thought to himself.

The old woman said nothing for a moment. Then suddenly, her eyes lit up. “You wouldn’t happen to have Juniper’s phone, would you?”

John nodded. He had picked it up from the floor of the bar before they left.

“Perfect!” Miss Jones cried gleefully as she beckoned for him to follow her into Juniper’s study.

The alien’s brow furrowed in confusion as he followed. “What are you suggesting we do?”

“Spells aren’t the only kind of magic this old girl can do.” She cracked her knuckles and took a seat in front of the computer. “Just wait til you see what I can do with a mouse and a little editing software…”

“Ah!” John smiled in understanding. “Photoshop?”

Miss Jones shook her head. “Microsoft Paint.”

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