I was reading this entertaining Cracked article about six fictional corporations from movies that displayed both evil and incompetence, and noted that Cracked saw the same thing I did years ago: Weyland-Yutani Corp. must have some seriously patient stockholders if they keep losing expensive ships, androids, colonies, dropships, and Tom Skerritts just to capture an alien with acid blood, a mildly amusing birth process, and questionable dentition.

Cracked points out that Weyland-Yutani — which, based on the graphics from the original Alien, is a futuristic spinoff of Purina — has been throwing away resources for two hundred years. That's a lot. Ford's only been trying to make a decent car for a hundred. So why are they doing this? Cracked doesn't know.

But that's because Cracked is politically apathetic. To those of a political bent, it ought be immediately apparent what Weyland-Yutani is doing.

They're running a tax shelter.

The pursuit of aliens is simply an elaborate way to guarantee massive writeoffs to reduce W-Y's tax liability. It's perfect — they get rid of obsolete assets (Ian Holm was so last year's model. The Nostromo? A futuristic Buick.) and irritating personnel, and get to write them off at full (or even inflated) value. "Yeah, revenue was through the roof. But we only wound up paying twenty bucks this year, thanks to all those people getting eaten."

There's something oddly comforting about this. Whatever other terrifying and unknowable things the future holds, we can rest assured that shitty tax policy will continue. Thanks, space-Congress!

Last 5 posts by Ken White