Reshma Saujani is the founder and CEO of Girls Who Code, a national nonprofit organization working to close the gender gap in technology. She is the author of the forthcoming "Brave Not Perfect," which will be released in February 2019, and "Women Who Don't Wait in Line," and is a graduate of Yale Law School. The opinions expressed in this commentary are those of the author. View more opinion articles on CNN.

(CNN) This month, countless women responded to former Glamour editor Cindi Leive, one of the latest women leaders to urge others speak out and say they are among the #oneinfour women who have had an abortion, according to the Guttmacher Institute.

Reshma Saujani

But despite this cascade of stories, and the incredible work done by organizations like Shout Your Abortion and We Testify to destigmatize a woman's right to choose, there are still many who stay silent or hesitate to talk about their experiences. Why is the story of our reproductive health so hard for us to tell? And when is that going to change?

This question is deeply important to me, professionally and personally. I've never had an abortion. But I have had a series of miscarriages. And I have never felt less perfect -- or more flawed -- than I did at age 36 when I had my first miscarriage. Until I had my second, and then, this year, at 42, my fifth.

It took me years to start talking publicly about my fertility struggles because, being bound up as so many women are in the perfection trap for so long, I was concerned about what those failed pregnancies said about me.

Having a miscarriage to me was an infinitely more painful version of when I got rejected from law school (more than once) or lost my election for US Congress. Failing so publicly during my run for office started to free me from my fear of imperfection. Everyone knew what had happened, I only needed to learn to accept that it was done. But my miscarriages were deeply private. I was paralyzed by the fear of being judged that my body -- that I -- was doing something seemingly so natural, so wrong.

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