It’s 2:00 a.m. These are the very important thoughts (VIT) keeping me awake:

VIT: Here’s the story.

Me: Huh?

VIT: Of a man named Brady.

Me: Oh Christ.

VIT: Who was bringing up three very hairy boys.

Me: Those aren’t the words.

VIT: Each one of them looked a lot like the other.

VIT: They looked like garden gnomes.

Me: That’s not…

VIT: Until one day when this lady met this fellow.

Me: That’s not even the correct order.

VIT: And she had some blonde kids of her own.

VIT: Muh bleh muhff ee blahaha la da da dada… and they were all alone.

Me: Are you done?

VIT: ……….

VIT: ……….

VIT: So no one told you life was gonna be this wayyyy… 👏👏👏👏

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