Via the Right Scoop, I suppose “mom-to-be” technically isn’t accurate.

Gotta hand it to the Mirror. Rarely do you find so many different social pathologies concentrated in a single story. What’s the opposite of a palate cleanser?

Puffing on a cigarette and rubbing her baby bump, the controversial model and call girl – who will have her abortion at a clinic this week – said: “I’m finally on the verge of becoming famous and I’m not going to ruin it now. “An abortion will further my career. This time next year I won’t have a baby. Instead, I’ll be famous, driving a bright pink Range Rover and buying a big house. Nothing will get in my way.” Josie, 23, is already 18 weeks pregnant by either an escort agency client or a Premier League footballer. But she claims her late life-or-death decision has nothing to do with who the father is… Josie – who caused outrage in 2013 when she demanded a £4,800 boob job on the NHS to become a glamour model – said: “Channel 5 were keen to shortlist me then they found out I was pregnant.

If I understand British law correctly, after 12 weeks a woman can’t abort unless she shows that carrying to term would endanger her health somehow. This woman can’t, but I sense that’s not going to stop her. Allegedly both potential fathers offered to support her financially if she had the baby, but she’s intent on being famous and the little one would interfere with that. Or rather, another little one — turns out she already has two kids at home. She’s also still smoking and drinking despite being more than four months along, but I guess there’s no need to worry about the damage done to the baby at this point, huh?

Am I awake?

Serious question: Is this a put-on? The fact that it gets worse with every sentence and that it’s being fed to a notorious tabloid makes me suspicious. If she’s already a freak-show quasi-celeb for demanding that taxpayers pay for her boob job and she’s desperate to be famous, why wouldn’t she make up a too-bad-to-check story about aborting her baby because she wants to be on “Big Brother” in order to further raise her profile? She’s already committed to the fame-through-outrage approach. Maybe she’s just dialing it up.

Or, maybe this really is as bad as it seems and the first seal in Revelation is about to be opened. Which is it?