Here's some news you can use, assuming you believe the word of Texas Attorney General Greg Abbott -- tanning beds don't prevent cancer.

Abbott filed an injunction Monday against Houston-based Darque Tan (here's a copy of it) accusing it of false advertising.

False advertising? For the kind of people who go to tanning beds? Surely if there is any group of medically-aware and knowledgeable people out there, it's tanning-bed users. You don't need false claims, you can simply sell them on the health benefits of getting skin cancer.

Abbott's injunction says Darque Tan went way beyond the pale (Ha! A joke!)

"Defendants make the health or medical claim that indoor tannng increases the user's intake of Vitamin D and that increased levels of Vitamin D have been shown to reduce the incidence or risk of cancer," the injunction says.

And then there's this, which is simply hilarious: Darque Tan agents have "specifically made the following health or medical claims...2) `so would you be more worried about the skin cancer on your arm and being able to have it laser-cut out...or would you rather have ovarian cancer that you can't get rid of...and people die from?"

Yeah, take that, doubters, and get yourself to a tanning salon stat!! Darque tan, preferably!! We're not sure those other tanning salons cure cancer!!

-- Richard Connelly