Recently, a friend of mine broke things off with his soon-to-be fiancé after hitting a rough patch in his life which made the imbalances in the relationship blatantly evident. In return, she elected to speak poorly of him to mutual friends, family, and even mar a number of his personal goods (including keying his Mercedes).

After all this had happened, he told me about it and concluded that he had definitely “dodged a bullet, but that it had definitely taken a chunk on its way”. Which is completely understandable, because it wasn’t just her that was exiting his life, a piece of him was going with her, as well.

So, while he had managed to maintain a calm and collected demeanor regarding the situation, it caused for her what I can only imagine to be a terrible crisis of identity. She had invested multiple years in this man, and now he just decided to be done with her? How dare he!

So, in retaliation, she elected to wreck everything on her way out. Which is probably the worst way to handle a break-up. Such a strategy causes both parties to develop and animosity towards one another and feel like the time together was a complete waste. To make matters worse, such behavior at the conclusion of a relationship causes the previous positive experiences to be nigh completely overshadowed due to the Peak-end rule.

For those who haven’t heard of the Peak-end rule and are interested in seeing it at play, ask a friend who went through a traumatic break-up about their previous partner. It is likely that they will focus on the point of greatest intensity (positive or negative) in the relationship as well as the negative way in which it ended — completely discounting the many positives had in between.

People do not like to waste their time — especially if its in terms of years or decades. So, if you find yourself in a relationship which is ending and wish to look upon it fondly / not feel like you wasted your time, do your best to work with your partner to make it an amicable break-up.