When Paris Lees appeared on Question Time last week, I and many other trans people sat at home cheering her on. When she brought up the fact that 45% of trans young people have attempted suicide the clip was shared widely online, with overwhelmingly positive reactions. This wasn’t the first time the statistic had been brought up on the programme, yet it was dispiriting, to say the least, that most of the panel seemed more concerned about the persistent myth that kids are being sent for genital surgery. Why is this crisis of mental health within the trans community not the main source of concern?

"You'd be forgiven for thinking we're responsible for all of the world's ills"@parislees on the experiences faced by transgender people in the UK #bbcqt pic.twitter.com/yAFowvciu2 — BBC Question Time (@bbcquestiontime) March 22, 2018

These statistics reveal a deep, systemic problem, and shed light on the way trans people are mistreated in society. We’re failing trans kids, and we need to talk about why. Virtually every single study on trans adults and children arrives at a similar, alarmingly high, percentage figure for attempted suicides.

In 2014, the Williams Institute and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention published research that showed that 46% of trans men and 42% of trans women had attempted suicide. One of its major findings was that trans people across all demographics and ranges of experience have very high levels of attempted suicide.

A British study from 2012 showed that 84% of respondents had contemplated suicide, 35% had attempted it, and 25% had done so more than once.

An Irish study from 2012 showed that 63% had considered taking their own lives and 40% of respondents had attempted it. Another study conducted in Ontario, Canada, in 2015 found that 43% had attempted suicide.

Two studies that specifically focus on trans youth also showed alarming figures. A study conducted in Australia in 2017 showed that up to 79% of respondents had self-harmed and up to 48% had attempted suicide. In a similar 2012 study in New Zealand, 20% of respondents had attempted suicide. And there is more. A lot more.

Looking beyond that, studies on the wellbeing of trans kids who are supported in their identities show that they have the same levels of depression and anxiety as their peers.

This all leads to the same conclusion: we must support trans children. Trans people are too often bullied, stigmatised, denied access to services and mistreated by society. Yet so much of the media coverage seems concerned with trans issues only when it’s about the alleged “problems” we cause. Why aren’t we talking about the fact that up to 45% of young trans people are trying to kill themselves? Why aren’t we talking about the long waiting times that trans people have to endure in order to get access to medical services? Why aren’t we talking about Naomi, who was stabbed to death last week near Hounslow?

As a trans person I am no stranger to abuse. I know the feeling of being so miserable because of the way people treated me and so full of shame about myself that taking my own life seemed like the only option. I’m fortunate to still be here, and that is why I find it shameful to see certain prominent figures such as Jenni Murray only bring up the suicide statistics in order to place doubt on their validity. It’s a pattern too often repeated on social media, and it’s heartbreaking. Even when suffering of this magnitude is revealed, there will always be people out there who say: I don’t believe you.

We need to accept that there is a problem. We need to accept that we as a society have a collective responsibility to react to these studies, and really take a hard look at what is causing it.

Research clearly shows that trans children who are supported are much happier. I would love to read research that shows that trans people and trans children don’t face any stigma or obstacles at all, so there is no problem. That would be fantastic. But can anyone actually show me a single study that concludes this?

We need to listen to, and learn from, the multitude of experiences of trans people out there. We need to eradicate the root of the problem. We need to combat stigma, discrimination and hate. We need to elevate the voices of trans people and stop giving platform to false narratives and hateful individuals. The best way to do so is to support organisations and campaigners fighting for trans rights. Be angry for us. Speak up for us. Question false narratives that demonise trans people. Share films about our lives. Support life-saving organisations such as Mermaids, that offer help to trans youth and their families. Be an ally.

Because behind all those statistics, there are actual human beings. What you’ll find is that trans people are simply people, wanting to live their lives and do all the same things as other people. They pose no threat to anyone else’s rights or safety. We need your support. Are you listening?

• In the UK the Samaritans can be contacted on 116 123. In the US, the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 1-800-273-8255. In Australia, the crisis support service Lifeline is 13 11 14. Other international suicide helplines can be found at www.befrienders.org.

• Owl is a writer, film-maker and campaigner.