This is a strange subject for many reasons. I identify as a straight man. I am not attracted to men whatsoever. I've never looked at a man and felt that same visceral and automatic attraction that I do for women. But I have engaged in sex acts with other men. Before that, I fantasized about such encounters.

I'll try and explain my thoughts and my journey. But it will be long winded. I will be glossing over most of it. I will change a few names and things so other people's anonymity is maintained. If there is any interest in me getting more specific with my experiences, say so in the comments.

I'll start at the beginning. As you can probably guess based on my writing, I was into some niche erotica from my teenage years. I detail my childhood fascination with transformation and mind control stuff in my blog post Why I Write What I Write .

At first, I was just into transformation stories. Mostly gender swap type stuff on fictionmania. So I was already reading stories where men end up in sexual situations with other men. They were just turned into women first.

My fascination with gender swapping led me to hentai where there seemed to be lots of women growing penises. This fits right into the type of gender swap stories I like, where the change can be hidden, at least for awhile. From there I moved on to shemale porn. It was a logical next step, in my mind. I saw a video in my friend's naughty folder that looked like a regular sex scene. Hunky guy, hot girl, but she had a dick. I found more on my own, and it was ultimately much easier to find than futanari hentai. At least back the in the days before porn tube type sites.

I told myself that it was because I was imagining them being a woman who grew a penis. Basically, fodder for my fantasies of gender swap transformations.

At the same time, I was into mind control stuff where people would have sex with someone they normally never would. This tied into the gender swap stuff, men (as women) having sex with other men which they would never do before. In the case of the mind control, I usually liked incest or cuckold scenarios.

That was until I found a story on a site called the Nifty Archive called " Headshop ". It isn't around anymore, not that I can find. Nifty had a lot of the gender swap stories that I liked and I thought this one was too.

Anyway, in that story, the main character is a straight guy who smokes this pot that starts to transform him. He is transformed from a regular schlub to a tall, hung, buff bro-type guy complete with tattoos and piercings, with some more transformations thrown in too.

But the other thing is that it makes it so he can only cum when allowed to by a "strong man". He starts feeling alien desires. Desires for other men. He basically becomes controlled by another man, by controlling his sexual desires but not his conscious mind. I read that story so many times.

This inexplicably excited me. I couldn't explain it because this story was mainly about a man being dominated by and having sex with other men as he falls deeper into the trap. I couldn't even explain it, by saying there was a woman or the female form involved somehow.

On the mind control sites that I liked, I began to seek similar material, which there is no shortage of.

These stories excited me. Especially the ones wherein some straight married guy ends up sucking cock. Whether he was transformed or mind controlled or whatever to get there. I found myself searching for that type of scenario specifically. But only stories. I even tried looking at gay porn and it did nothing for me. There was something about knowing what the character was thinking. The conflicted nature of their desires is what did it for me.

Here's where it gets good. Or at least moves out from just being the realm of "porn that I consumed".

With these type of stories being fodder for my imagination, I was routinely fantasizing about men sucking other men off. Of course, my mind turned to trying it for real.

This is years ago now. I was in my mid twenties and had not had any sexual contact to speak of in a few years. I had had girlfriends in the past but my relationships never lasted long. I was one of those pathetic "nice guys" who always whined about not getting any attention but didn't do anything to improve myself. But that's kind of another story.

I had a couple of friends I hung out with all the time. We'll call them Jack and Ben. The both of them were members of the local kink community. They both assumed I was totally vanilla and they didn't include me in when talking about or going to local play parties and whatnot. I had even accompanied them to one, feeling like I had no other way to meet new people and wanted to try something different.

I left concluding that I wasn't into it. And I was basically totally vanilla. I had only ever had regular vanilla sex with girls that I was in relationships with. I had shared a little about my fascination with transformation and whatnot with them, but I had never attempted to indulge in any of my exotic fantasies, such as they were.

The only somewhat adventurous thing I had tried was prostate stimulation. I had read tons of stories where the male characters got off on being penetrated anally. In my boredom, I tried it for myself and found that it felt really good. The orgasms I had while stimulating the prostate were crazy intense. I don't know why men consider it gay to even try or experiment with it. There is nothing "gay" about finding out what makes you feel good.

I eventually went to a fetish play party with my friend Jack. I just wanted to maybe meet new people and see something exciting. I wasn't even into it, just sexually frustrated and bored. I left thinking it wasn't for me, but naked girls and the sexually charged nature of the night still had me kind of excited.

So that night, I was looking at porn on my desktop computer, since my laptop was shitty and didn't have internet. My roommates and my computers were all in the living room. We were big time computer geeks and would play games together while watching tv or whatever. And every time my one of my friends moved behind me, I would quickly switch away from what I was looking at, hoping they didn't see whatever porn I was looking at that I had always hidden.

After doing that a number of times. I stopped and thought about it for a second. I felt really silly. They already knew that I was into some niche fetish stuff.

So I turned to them, and said something like "This is silly. What am I hiding? We just got back from a kink party! You guys both know a little about the stuff I like and I know you don't care."

They both kinda laughed along with me and said yeah, that it is pretty silly to keep hiding it like I had something to be ashamed of. Or that they cared or would judge me over it.

And I felt that was the right moment to share something I had never shared with anyone, not even online anonymously.

"I've also been... fantasizing about going down on a guy or maybe even trying anal." I said. "So at some point I may ask about it, so don't be surprised."

I don't really remember their exact responses. I knew Ben was bisexual and so that was nothing ground breaking for him. I remember Jack admitting to doing stuff with other guys when he was younger. And the conversation basically stopped there. I may have talked more about things that I didn't wish to hide or be ashamed of anymore. But that was basically it.

I went to bed but Jack was still there hanging out with my room mates.

Then, later that night when I was in bed looking at porn and masturbating, I heard a knock at my door.

I heard Jack say "Can I come in?"

I hesitated. I had just talked about fantasizing about doing stuff with men. But I guess I imagined being the one to initiate.

After a moment or two I opened the door and he immediately reached down to grab my erect cock through my underwear. I don't remember if I said anything but I let him in.

We sat on my bed while he jerked my cock. He was erect too but I still wasn't quite ready to reciprocate his attention. I had fantasized about going down on a guy but I had never even touched another cock before.

The awkwardness was palpable. This was a guy I had known since middle school and I was comfortable with him, at least. But I was not prepared to be in this situation, and didn't really know what to do next. So I just kind of let him lead.

He pulled my cock out of the slit of my underwear and then leaned over to put it in his mouth. I lay back and let him suck my cock. At some point he took my hand and put it on his cock. I grasped it, it was about the same size as mine. Uncircumcised like mine. I began to stroke him the way I liked it, using just my fingertips.

After a few minutes, I told him that it felt amazing, but if he was trying to get me to cum, that it probably wouldn't work. I had gotten head countless times(from women), and never had they actually gotten me off with their mouth. I usually would get to the point where I would just want to fuck. I always preferred intercourse to a blowjob.

He asked if I wanted to suck him, and although I had fantasized about it before, I couldn't quite bring myself to do it, so I said no. It was one thing to read about it, it's totally another thing to actually do it.

But, I told him "I was just getting ready to finger my ass. So, if you wanted to..." I said, as I pointed to the vaseline next to my bed that I had been using for lube in my experiments with anal insertion.

I couldn't quite believe it was happening. I had only ever tried inserting my fingers, or a small object in a condom. The objects I used had never felt quite right going in and out. It never really felt good, so I had just stuck with my fingers.

I had been wondering what a cock would feel like, though. Not sure the best way to do it, I stood up and bent over the bed and presented my ass to him. He lubed up and then I felt his cock at my entrance. I took a deep breath. I couldn't believe I was about to let my friend fuck me in the ass.

He was new at this too. He was having trouble putting his cock inside me (vaseline is really not a good lube for this sort of thing, as I found out). So he pushed harder and when his tip rammed inside me, it hurt like hell.

"Ahh! Stop! Stop! Stop!" I cried out as I moved my lower half away from him. He asked if I was okay and I said it really hurt. It hurt enough that I didn't want to continue. So we eventually just sat on the bed and jerked off until we both finished.

So that was my first sexual experience with another man. It was awkward, painful, but ultimately it had been exciting. Or at least more exciting than the nothing I had going on in my sex life.

Later on that week, he picked me up from work and we went to dinner. I jokingly said that if he bought me dinner, I might put out. We laughed, but I think I actually bought dinner that night.

We decided to stop at the drug store on the way home and get some better lube, since I had investigated the matter after the painful first try.

I don't remember the details as well as the first time we tried it. But I'll just say the second time he managed to get his cock inside me without hurting me too bad. I made sure he went slow.

I found that it hurt at first, but it would start to feel good after getting used to it. The pain never really went away though. And the heat. I had not expected it to literally feel too hot. We had to work on the right kind of lube to deal with that particular problem but we did find the right stuff eventually.

It did feel really good, despite the pain and discomfort. It was better than my fingers or any toy I had used. The orgasms were crazy intense while I was being fucked. And then there was the added excitement I had at him getting off too. I had never been in the "bottom" position in sex before. It was strange but I got vicarious pleasure from him getting off.

After the relative success of the second time, I was pretty well hooked. We had sex every night for the first week or two. Mostly out of boredom and we had found a fun way to pass the time. It also felt good, obviously. It's sex.



Strangely, I found out how a man can be just attracted to the sex act itself. Not necessarily the person you're doing it with. I would find myself getting hard just thinking about getting fucked. I still had no attraction to him or any other man. But the sex itself was exciting.



It wasn't really that big of a deal, emotionally. I mean, I guess we grew a little closer. We had been friends forever and were close anyway.

I was curious and I investigated the whole idea of a straight guy fantasizing about sucking dick and fucking other men and it is evidently very common. My situation was far from unique, as it turns out. I have even read research, like that of Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam, in their work A Billion Wicked Thoughts where they find that a penis is a cue for sexual arousal in males. I think it has to do with competing with other men to inseminate a woman.

At some point, Jack asked me if I wanted to fuck him instead and I said no. This sounds strange, but somehow I found that to be more... "gay". I didn't care about being gay or straight or any labels. I just didn't have any attraction to him. Or any other guy. It didn't seem appealing to me at all. Not that there's anything wrong with being gay or bi or whatever and being the top. It just wasn't for me. I was bottom only, which was strange. I never thought I, as a straight guy, would let another guy fuck me in the ass and never reciprocate.

I did eventually work up the courage to try sucking his dick. I immediately didn't like it. Again, it's one thing to fantasize and another to actually do it. I was never much for giving head, even to girls.

Even after having sex with a man, I still got nothing from watching gay porn, even after knowing what being assfucked felt like and being excited by it.

Jack and I continued to have sex for awhile after that. We had a few threesomes with a girl who loved to watch us fuck. I ended up trying some BDSM stuff and found that I liked being tied up and fucked. The ropes allowed me to struggle against the pain of penetration, is the best way to describe it.

I moved into a new place with a new room mate, some time later. It was one of those need a room mate so you find a stranger on Craig's list type situation.

At this point we were not having sex that often. We had probably gotten a little bored of it. But one time we did, shortly after I moved in and my roommate almost caught us. And again, I felt like we shouldn't be ashamed to be ourselves in my own home so I told him about it.

"Sometimes, we have sex." I think I phrased it. It wasn't a big deal to him, which was good since we were going to do it anyway.

Jack eventually got together with a guy as a couple and I did play with them a couple of times but not often. That kind of stopped because I didn't really like his boyfriend.

I had a few more experiences with men. I started to troll craigslist for guys in a similar situation to me, a straight guy who was okay playing with men. I tried to find women as well, but the only ones who responded were typically the same few craigslist prostitutes. Guys would actually respond and follow through.

I didn't really have much luck, though. Most of the guys I found just wanted to suck my dick. Married guys. Gay guys. But I wasn't comfortable with any of them enough to let them fuck me or reciprocate in any way.

I did have a regular thing for awhile with a guy(actually a female to male transsexual) who I would go over to his house once or twice a week and he would suck my cock. We never had sex. I tried once but couldn't quite get hard enough to fuck another guy. Not even a guy with a pussy. I even ordered some knockoff viagra online but he never gave me another chance to fuck him, which was fine by me.

That lasted until I finally broke my 6 year streak of being alone. I was with a nice girl for a while and didn't do any more of that type stuff. At least until we broke up.

Once I was single again, I resumed seeking out play with guys. Not exclusively. I still tried to find a girlfriend, which was actually working out okay since I lost a bunch of weight.

But men were so much easier to deal with if I wanted to get off. Post a picture of my dick, and there were guys practically begging to suck it. I would get irritated that a couple of the guys got pretty insistent with me to do things I never agreed to do. That was a common feature of guys too. Always pushing.

Like this guy who invited me to play with him and his wife. He started out asking if I wanted them both to suck me off and maybe I would reciprocate if I felt like it. That was kind of my standard line.

I got there and they both sucked me off but he kept trying to get me to suck his dick and let him fuck me, which I had said may happen. But as soon as he got demanding, I didn't want to at that point.

His wife was hot though, and she seemed to like me. So I was dumb enough to do it again. I saw them one other time but he kicked me out pretty soon after I got there because even though I made it clear that I was just there for them to both suck me off, he got upset I wasn't reciprocating.

He has messaged me since then, but I always ignored it. I don't need people changing what they want every 2 minutes and putting pressure on me to do things I never agreed to do.



I had a couple of encounters that I had been fantasizing about. On two occasions I hooked up and had sex with a transsexual I met on craigslist. The first was a male to female that barely passed and looked more feminine in the pictures. I felt uncomfortable from the word go but by the time we had actually met up, I didnt want to turn them away. I should have because once they had their orgasm, while they were done and they left before I got mine. I felt kinda dirty afterwards. It was the most meaningless sex I'd had so far in my life and it didn't make me feel good.



The next time was a female to male transsexual that still had breasts and a hairy chest. My bed was broken and squeaky as we tried to fuck. It was so awkward and the bed was so distracting that I dont think either of us enjoyed it very much. Again, I felt kinda dirty and ashamed. Meaningless sex didnt make me feel good like I had heard it was supposed to. I also learned that even though I had fantasized about being involved with fantastic scenarios like a gender swap, inviting strangers over to have sex because they were transsexuals with genitals that could play into my fantasy, it didnt make me feel good afterwards. Reality and fantasy clashing again.

But that was pretty much the end of my experience with men. I lost a bunch of weight and I actually started getting a lot more female attention. Although I won't count out the possibility, I have not even considered doing anything with guys in years now. The situation where I did engage it in was born out of sexual boredom, and lack of any other prospects.

I am happily with a loving lady and don't need that kind of attention. Although it was fun, it was totally unfulfilling emotionally. I was always jealous of people who had lots of sex and lots of partners but now that I have been there, I know how empty it all is.

But this experience taught me about how men, even married guys who identify as straight, will engage in this kind of sex. How it is actually normal to at least think about this type of thing, if not try it. I maintain that every man should at least experiment with stimulating the prostate. But a lot of guys think of anything to do with their ass as being “gay”, which is sad.

Anyway, let me know in the comments if you have similar experience or have thought about this type of stuff. Or if you wish to hear more detail from me on any of this stuff. I have no problem talking about it, if people are interested.

LB

I have a pair of ebooks for sale on Amazon that are the type of story I mentioned earlier. A story where a straight guy ends up mess in ng around with another guy.One is Usurper , excerpt here , about a married guy who sees another guy's cock at the urinals and can't get it out of his head. The other is called Late Delivery That one is more focused on smell. It's about a guy who gets entranced by a pizza delivery guy.I wrote them a few both years ago. I'm not sure how much time I'll devote to this type of story in the future, but I will if there is s demand for it. Let me know in the comments.