During my mission to New England, I found out that people in the Northeast were far more flamboyant with their sexuality than they were back home in Orem, Utah. Growing up I knew almost no one who was LGBTQ, but on my mission, quickly I found myself teaching the gospel to people, or at least interacting with people, who identify as part of the LGBTQ community on almost a daily basis. These people we kind and loving, and as I was looking, I saw within them the divine spark that every child of God has.

On top of those we taught, many members had family or friends who identified as part of the LGBTQ community and I could see and feel their love for them. Even some of the members themselves identified as LGBTQ. One of the best member missionaries I knew in New England, has same-gender attraction, but she is amazing, she gave us more referrals than the whole ward combined, she befriended and loved everyone, and always invited them to learn more, she personally brought 4 people to the waters of baptism!

While being a missionary I learned to love everyone, including those who are LGBTQ’s, as my brothers and sisters. I also experienced something that disturbed me. I heard members and missionaries talk disparagingly about my LGBTQ brothers and sisters. I had one companion who said many off-color comments including, “If my son ever came out as a gay…I would disown him.” Since getting back from my mission I have heard many people, of many denominations, talk ill and treat poorly those in the LGBTQ community. Almost as if by their sexual orintation it exempted them from the commandment to love, not judged, and befriended their neighbor.

Since coming home from my mission I have volunteered with Encircle and at Ignite (programs to help LGBTQ youth who are at risk to commit suicide or feel unloved) to know that there are those that love them. I have been received with both joy and shock when I came to these events and people found out I am an active Latter-day Saint. I think it is sad that it was such a shock that a Latter-day Saint wanted to be an ally. One person’s mouth hit the floor and was speechless that a straight, white, male, conservative, super active Latter-day Saint would spend his afternoon helping LGBTQ youth. I explained that the only label I try to see is one: Child of God. And if you stop at that label, then helping the unloved feel loved is my religion.

I share this to set the tone for what needs to be said: Every member of the LGBTQ community should be able to count on a Latter-day Saint to be an ally.

What exactly does it mean to be an ally? It means that they should be able to count on us to mourn with them, comfort them, and love them as Christ would love them. It means that we should treat them right, love them, and serve them, befriend them! After all, have we not covenanted to do that when we were baptized?

Being an ally does not mean that we need to change our doctrine, but rather that we live it. In the words of Elder Marlin K. Jensen: “Having been so richly blessed by Christ’s friendship, I pray that we will now be to others what He is to us: a true friend. At no time will we be more Christlike than when we are a friend.”

Now I know what you are thinking, “What about marriage and family? Are they not important to defend?” Absolutely! My LGBTQ friends know that I love them and that I also believe in traditional marriage and family. They have no doubt that I believe and follow the commandments and gospel. But they also know that my love for them is unconditional as they are my brothers and sisters.

It would be wise to remember that the Pharisees of old loved the law more than people, and they often justified mistreating others because they were defending the law, Sabbath, or the temple. It was a rebuttal of their ideology when Christ replied that the most important commandment was to ” love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind…And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.” (Matthew 22:34-40).

If we make it to the judgment bar having mistreated, judged, shamed, and withheld our love and friendship from others in our attempt to protect and defend marriage and family I can see us saying to Christ, “I spent our lives defending the family and marriage. I defended your kingdom!”

To which Christ would reply, “I did not ask you to spend your life defending My Kingdom.” And in sorrow, He would continue, “I asked you to spend your life loving God and your neighbors, more than the law. I told you that by your love they would know you were My disciple. I asked you to love, serve, help, and befriend others! I asked you to build my kingdom, not just defend it.”

Christ has declared visitors are welcome in His Church. We would be wise to truly incorporate that teaching in our lives also. Christ befriended the publicans, sinners, harlots and the Romans. We should too. President M. Russell Ballard has stated that we can and must do better he said: “I want anyone who is a member of the church who is gay or lesbian to know I believe you have a place in the kingdom and recognize that sometimes it may be difficult for you to see where you fit in the Lord’s Church, but you do. We need to listen to and understand what our LGBT brothers and sisters are feeling and experiencing. Certainly, we must do better than we have done in the past so that all members feel they have a spiritual home where their brothers and sisters love them and where they have a place to worship and serve the Lord.” (Click here for his full address)

After all, regardless of race, gender, religion, ethnicity, sexual preference, political party, and preferred college football team (even the Utes 😉 we are all sons and daughters of God. Yes, He has commandments. Yes, His laws will be enforced, but that is His job, not ours. Our job is simple: Just as He loves us unconditionally, we are commanded to love unconditionally. Let us learn to love and be friends and allies to all around us; let us leave judgment to Jesus Christ, who truly understands and is the only fair and impartial judge. In the words of the Elder Marion D. Hanks, “We cannot, my dear brethren, condition our love … There have to be standards and they must be enforced, but our love must be unconditional.”

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