The Secret: All your wishes are in the catalogue. Part: 2 Posted by Damp Cardigan on May 19, 2013 · Leave a Comment

If you missed Part 1 then head here, otherwise the order will be all messed up and something really bad might happen, like dealing with a confused aura or your chakras being out of alignment.

Moving on let’s look at the great steps taken to prove the credibility of the Secret theory although in the spirit of the overall theme, examples are set firmly in realm of material possessions. Stimulating the western world’s dwindling economy is not without its New Age endorsements.

As I have only been subjected to the DVD interpretation of The Secret I can’t offer much comment on the companion book. I’m sure it’s written with the same sense of sickening smugness and all I can imagine is one of Homer Simpson’s finest moments. In The Simpsons Movie a fleeting moment of panic see’s Homer reach for a Bible and furiously flick through it and in a telling moment of brilliance exclaims ‘this book doesn’t have any answers!!!’. Reading this book from a critical point of view would yield similar results.

I find it strange that the solution to the ills of the modern world has been placed on those things of a material nature and even stranger that this has been embraced so readily by the 21st Century hippy collective. For example, you can head to the official Secret website and print yourself off a blank cheque from the merchandise section of their corporation. The purpose of this is to fill it in yourself with your name; chosen currency and the amount of money that you wish to receive. You will then need to hang it on your wall as a visualisation tool as the thoughts that this will inspire will draw that amount of money to you.

When did the counter culture become so obsessed with possessions and money? I was, wrongly, under the impression that the idea was to protest against the modern preoccupation with capitalist principles and advocate a real and more personally rewarding way of living. I couldn’t have been more wrong.

It looks like a real cheque doesn’t it? Under close observation you can see how they have tried their very best to make it as authentic as possible even including a fictitious Universal Bank moniker and attempt at cleverness – (Un) Limited. These are the small details needed to facilitate its use but by invoking the imagery of capitalism it panders to greed, not need.

Another way of looking at it is to assume that this Bank of the Universe is being offered as the solution to a crisis, personal or otherwise. Taking its inoperable links to the reality of modern living we can only assume that this crisis was the fault of the bank in the first place. Perhaps our thoughts were floated too cheaply on the vibe market, brain matter being the currency here with chief executives paying themselves enormous good vibe bonuses. The Chancellor of the Vibes then had to come up with a ploy to restock diminishing accounts and with The Secret, removed the validity, power and innocence of the human mind by placing a monetary value on feelings, gratifying their own greed and fuelling misplaced belief in their principles.

According to this absurd philosophy, all our wishes are in the catalogue. All our hopes and dreams can be looked up in a shiny manual, allocated a number and a price and the threat of spiritual emptiness if never attained. It’s saying to apply the Christmas formula to the most complicated aspects of human existence and, when the desired results are achieved through self fulfilling the prophecy, attributing this success to something other than the individual.

My question to these purveyors of false hope is this. What if it was my dream for something bad to happen to one of you? I’m not talking physical pain or murder or anything. What if I desperately wished for you to lose all your money? By applying your philosophy I could surely make this happen and if it did then I would prove you right. Or, would it prove you wrong as the very way of life you sell to the masses has been the cause of a devastating personal crisis?

If the problem is solvable using such a simple and childish philosophy then how it is justified that learning it comes at a cost. Historically, this stage of an idea becoming franchised results in the creation of a hierarchy within the movement as the business of it becomes the philosophy. You will need people above you that are closer to The Universe to keep you in check and keep fear levels at a premium. If it works, and you’re no longer afraid, then they will become obsolete and they have some serious overheads to consider. They need to keep you in this cycle until you only option for an exit is death and only those who pedal religion hold the monopoly on what happens in that scenario, for now.

Phil Watson