Here’s the worst thing about Dota 2: your first few days with it will suck. The Dota 2 newbie is doomed to frustration, confusion, and countless deaths.

It’s a mathematical certainty. Consider: Valve’s MOBA currently has 106 heroes, with more to come. The average hero has four unique abilities, and some have even more. That means roughly 420 separate abilities you will need to learn before you really begin to understand Dota 2. In your first games, more likely than not, you will see a flurry of particle effects, a fizzle and a pop, and you will be dead.

But I can help with that. I want to coach five of our lovely readers who have never touched a game of Dota 2 in their life. Sound fun? Read on for all the details.

UPDATE:I would like everyone who commented below to add me on Steam. Due to the quite astonishing amount of people who responded, I would like to have a chat with you all. The aim is to have a team sorted out by Monday. Remeber the critera below still applies: I’m mainly looking for new players.Also even if you don’t make it into the team, I’m always looking for people to play some Dota with.

Thanks to a recent update, Valve’s Dota 2 now supports coaching. The tool allows for a coach to take a birds eye view of their team as they play in a normal match. With another set of eyes in the sky, a coach can teach their pupils on the fly with real examples. Want to know where to place a ward? Maybe you don’t know which item to go for next? Sometimes you just want some reassurance that you’re doing a good job.

With this in mind, I want to take a band of PCGamesN readers and form our very own team. Your experience doesn’t matter, just a willingness to learn and have some fun. One day a week will be the format, decided on which is easiest for everyone.

If you’re interested, all you need to do is reply in the comments below. Let me know your experience with Dota 2 or MOBAs in general, and why you want to learn. It’s best if you’re fluent in English and you have to be 18 or older.

The deadline is this Friday, 07/02/14!