You’re Simon Cooper (played by Joe Thomas). Aka Gay Car, aka Boner, aka Gel Freak. You’re kind, loyal and romantic, although you do tend to take yourself too seriously and get irritable when people are trying to be nice. Try to calm down and not be so neurotic. You’re always running around puppy-like after your latest lust object or getting steamrollered by girlfriends. Man up and grow a pair. But beware them popping out the side of your pants.