The federal Conservatives have gone Trumpish, campaigning online and in the House of Commons in absurd terms that call out to the foolish, spiteful elements of voters’ psyches and Canadian sense of self. That’s a given. But will it work?

I think Canadians are too sensible and fair-minded for this. Still, one does worry.

Conservatives seem to think the issues that will win them the 2019 election are Prime Minister Trudeau’s sunglasses, socks, attractive wife, children’s swing set, excessive snow shovelling requirements, and taking a day off.

Freud first referred to the “narcissism of minor differences” in 1917, meaning that similar groups will fall out over hypersensitivity to small details of differentiation. In 1921, he wrote, “the South German cannot endure the North German, the Englishman casts every kind of aspersion on the Scot and the 905 loathes the 416.” I may have altered that quote.

It’s true of the Serbs and the Croats, Republicans and Democrats, normal Conservatives and Liberals, and two cats hissing over a dish of milk. Look, you’re both cats. Go after the dog. But they won’t.

Trump mocks Trudeau by calling him “Justin,” as does CBC.ca’s sad contingent of the aggrieved. Incidentally, there’s a way to meet guys, if you’re desperate. Visit the CBC comments beneath any Trudeau story, poorly spelled, incoherent comments made by angry anonymous men too ashamed to show their faces. If petulant homely dudes with a rage problem are your thing, they await your call.

Some of that would describe Conservative MP Peter Kent, the Rhubarb Lady of the House of Commons, who rails about Harrington Lake’s maintained cross-country ski trails for guests, foreign or local. It also describes men who couldn’t kayak or canoe to save their lives or go caving or ski. Were Kent and crew always picked last for the university ski team?

Criticism of Trudeau centres on his quick intellect, relative youth, social skills, and his Montreal dress sense. Of course men all try to be their best intellectually, to shower and shave, and then chat with people while wearing pants.

When they suspect they have failed, they are goaded by schlumpy Andrew Scheer into lashing out at Trudeau. But it is a screen for deeper angers. If they’re economic, surely Ottawa’s efforts aimed at helping the poor while working to enlarge the middle class would win them over.

Perhaps it is an issue born of the wounds of childhood. Maybe the commenters see Trudeau as a hateful father figure, in which case Gord, Johny, Ric, Gary and Dean should talk to their clergyperson or caseworker.

Conservative Leader Scheer’s Twitter feed has gone toxic on this stuff, telling actual lies. Harrington Lake is not Trudeau’s cottage, it is Canada’s. The PM bought the swing set personally but did not pay for installation, which included concrete posts, which got complicated, as any Canadian who owns a deck (mine is sinking, detaching) or a fence (my posts are rotting) will grimly understand.

The CBC corrected this story — it is still not widely understood that journalists abhor factual errors — but Scheer has not. Instead, he stands in Parliament like the neighbour from hell, saying the Trudeau family could have bought an untethered plasticky swing set on sale at Walmart for $198.

As for the sunglasses, they were a gift from P.E.I.’s premier. The local company that made the Fellow Earthlings glasses is thrilled that Trudeau wore them in Vietnam in 2017, just as Liverpool’s Leather Satchel Company will be in seventh heaven if Princess Charlotte wears the pink backpack Prince William accepted on her behalf.

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But here I have walked into a mire of detail and come out caked in mud to the knees. The point is not that the Conservatives are lying about minor matters, but that Trump does this and it works with his violent, conspiracy-minded, obedient base. Trump, a ridiculous human, is saying “You are not ridiculous” to ridiculous voters.

Canada is facing huge problems, many Trump-related, but whether hard-line Conservatives detest the PM or not, it would be a tragedy if we fell for Trump tactics. If we have minor political differences, we can brush them away with Freudian know-how, or even simple Canadian decency.

Heather Mallick is a columnist based in Toronto covering current affairs. Follow her on Twitter: @HeatherMallick is a columnist based in Toronto covering current affairs. Follow her on Twitter:

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