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There’s nothing like having your daily morning coffee to wake you up. But imagine if you could have that and some morning excitement, too? Talk about an early riser.

Stiff Bull, a new instant coffee that guarantees “instant erections” is now on the market, with the promise to make every man who samples it “stay harder longer.” How long? Two to an even more alarming three days.

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“The coffee contains a propriety blend of ingredients such as — tongkat Ali, maca root, and guarana,” reads the website. “These herbs grow wild in the jungles of Malaysia and have been used for centuries by the people of Asia and South America to greatly improve sexual health, libido, and overall wellness.”

If it seems too good to be true, that’s because it is — at least according to the U.S. Food and Drug Adminstration, which has added it to its list of Tainted Sexual Enhancement Products, warning consumers that it contains an unlisted drug used for erectile dysfunction. Go figure.