There are a lot of things I miss about college. Being surrounded by people my age, hanging out around campus, and having an exceedingly flexible schedule with which to learn are just a few. However, one part that I miss more than most is spring break.

It was a welcome feeling after a long winter of studying, mid-terms, and living in dorms with lousy heating. Most of the time, I went home and just enjoyed having a week to myself. On a few occasions, I got to meet up with my girlfriend at the time and that was certainly fun.

However, when most people think of spring break, they probably don’t think of something simple. They probably think of the elaborate sexiness that comes with horny college students having too much free time and staying in places with warm, bikini-friendly weather. I’m not going to lie. I’ve thought those things too.

While I was never lucky enough to go on a vacation like that, I certainly appreciate those thoughts. With spring rolling in and colleges everywhere set to give their students a much-needed break, it’s a good time to entertain those thoughts. Consider this batch of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts to be the first taste of Spring Break 2019. Enjoy!

“Alcohol and driving accidentally takes life, but alcohol and sex accidentally makes life so it balances out.”

“It takes skill to convince someone to have sex once, but it takes talent to make them want more afterwards.”

“If a Wonderbra is false advertising, then a fancy car is tiny penis tax.”

“Lies may get you sex when it’s on sale, but truth and love is an investment that pays sexier dividends.”

“A strip club is just an expensive form of sight-seeing.”

“A marriage license is akin to a legal claim of someone else’s genitals.”

“When done right, a gangbang can be a team-building exercise.”

Whether you’re in college, overworked, or just sick of cold weather, I hope that got everyone into the spirit of spring break. Warmer weather is just around the corner. The prospect of less clothing and snow is upon us. After a winter like the one we’ve had, I say we’ve all earned a break of the sexiest kind.