Citizens of EU countries who live in the UK – more than 2 million people – are bystanders in the EU referendum debate. They can’t vote, and so have no way of influencing what will be for them a crucial decision. Until now.

A collection of pro-remain Europeans has just formed a group called #PleaseDon’tGoUK, and this month they’re launching a campaign called #hugabrit. Their intention, according to founding member Tessa Szyszkowitz, a UK correspondent for an Austrian news magazine, is to “send a love bomb to the British people, because we think the EU is a project worth fighting for”.

It’s hard to imagine Nigel Farage, for example, responding positively to an unsolicited hug from anyone

Along with the hashtag, they have a website (pleasedontgouk.com), and a Facebook page. They don’t actually have a budget of any kind, but the campaign is a simple one. If you want to join, all you have to do is take a picture of yourself hugging a Brit, and send it in. It might help if you hug a British celebrity (someone on the website bagged Jarvis Cocker), but it’s not a requirement.

The big unknown, of course, is the extent to which British suspicion of the EU has a symptomatic correlation with the traditional British horror of being touched by strangers. It’s hard to imagine Nigel Farage, for example, responding positively to an unsolicited hug from anyone. You might get better results from promising to leave him alone, or hugging him and then offering to stop.

“We have encountered some difficulties in our attempts to overcome the traditional British reluctance towards physical contact,” says Szyszkowitz, “but we are happy to take up this challenge for a higher cause. In truth, I think the Brits like to get hugged as long as you ask politely.”

There can be no doubting the group means business: Szyszkowitz immediately offered to send someone round to hug me. I had to declare that, as an American citizen, I had no vote to change.

Where’s the beef?

In a Cornish petrol station forecourt, the headline of today’s Western Morning News catches my eye: “Leaving EU could cost our farmers £29,000”. It turns out they mean £29K each, give or take, depending on what sort of trade arrangement ends up replacing the current one. West Country farmers are deeply worried about Brexit: “Jilly Greed, a champion for the national group Ladies in Beef, said the industry would be hit by a ‘tsunami’ of cheap imports following ...”

I’m afraid I read no further, stopped in my tracks as I was by three consecutive words: Ladies in Beef. Can there really be an organisation bearing that name?

Yes, and it’s probably the biggest, and quite possibly the only, national body representing female beef farmers. “The group was formed to help promote and drive awareness of the quality and versatility of British beef to consumers,” says its website, “using a countrywide network of lady beef ‘champions’.” I don’t quite understand what that means, but I know I’ll sleep easier tonight.

Giving in to terror

Also from the Western Morning News: the fight to reclaim the word Isis loses more ground. BMT Isis – a Plymouth engineering and risk management consultancy subsidiary – is the latest firm to throw in the towel. It did its best to restore the link between the Egyptian goddess of wisdom and top-flight risk management consulting in the minds of the British public, but thanks to “recent global events” made little headway. Henceforth the outfit wishes to be known as BMT Cadence.

First the dog in Downton, and now this. A spokesman for the company said Cadence was chosen to reflect the way BMT does business – “measured and rhythmic”. It sounds like a name Apprentice contestants would come up with: Team Cadence. It’s OK, but it’s no Ladies in Beef.

There are apparently more than 300 companies still registered in the UK with Isis in their names. But many, including the unfortunately named Isis Recruitment, have already rebranded. It’s tempting to say the terrorists have won.