Columbia’s Literature Humanities syllabus, with modern subtitles:

Homer’s “Iliad: How to Get Your Wife Back”

Homer’s “Odyssey: A Survivor’s Journey by Land and Sea”

Aeschylus’ “Oresteia: Why We Need a Criminal-Justice System”

Sophocles’ “Oedipus Rex: Riddles and Conundrums to Stretch Your Mind”

Euripides’ “Medea: What to Do When Your Spouse Cheats”

Herodotus’ “The Histories: Gossip From the Front Lines”

Thucydides’ “History of the Peloponnesian War: Tips for Writing and Delivering Great Funeral Orations”

Aristophanes’ “Lysistrata: Tame Your Man’s Aggression in Twenty-Four Hours or Less”

Plato’s “Symposium: The Art of the Late-Night Blowout”

“Genesis: The Eden Diet”

“Job: How I Lost Everything and Found God”

“Luke: Gift Ideas for the Baby Who Has Everything”

“John: Seven Surefire Signs That Your Friend Is God”

Virgil’s “Aeneid: The Untold Story of What Happened After the Trojan War”

Ovid’s “Metamorphoses: You Can Transform Your Body”

Augustine’s “Confessions: How I Stole, Womanized, and Worshiped a False God, and Still Became a Saint”

Dante’s “Inferno: Hell Is Real”

Montaigne’s “Essays: Why Marriage Is Like a Cage, and Other French Witticisms”

Shakespeare’s “King Lear: Estate Planning Essentials for You and Your Heirs”

Cervantes’s “Don Quixote: The Hidalgo Who Made the World Safe for Chivalry”

Goethe’s “Faust: How to Deal With the Devil—And Not Get Burned”

Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice: Time-Tested Secrets for Snagging a Husband”

Dostoyevsky’s “Crime and Punishment: A Complete Guide to Plotting and Executing a Violent Crime”

Woolf’s “To the Lighthouse: Day-Trip Ideas for Busy Parents”

Illustration by Barry Blitt.