It seems that Cesc Fàbregas’s resurgence at Chelsea was all part of yet another crafty plan from Antonio Conte, who has merely been putting the midfielder in the shop window in order to tempt someone into making a bid for him in January. Poor Cesc. All that hard work and Conte still doesn’t want him. But at least Roma do and those romantic Italians, who would clearly like nothing more than for Fàbregas to experience a romantic reunion with Mohamed Salah, might sweeten the deal by offering Chelsea their pick of Antonio Rüdiger or Radja Nainggolan, who was Conte’s top target in the summer. Knowing Conte’s luck, he could probably get a seat on a Southern Rail train this morning.

Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang is sort of fluttering his eyelashes at Real Madrid, although the striker is just about playing it cool enough for him to be able to tell Borussia Dortmund he’s just got something in his eye. “Real has a close connection with my family,” Aubameyang said. “The media is doing too much. It’s a childhood dream. But, as I always said, I play at Dortmund and I’m glad to be there and it’s really good for me. And I don’t even know if Madrid really wants me. If Real comes one day, then that’s good. Otherwise, life goes on. This is not a problem.” This. Is. Not. A. Problem. But if Real would like to make a bid for little old me, well, I couldn’t possibly say no.

West Ham are set to trigger the release clause in Sunderland defender Lamine Koné’s contract. They’re also thinking about a move for Joe Hart next summer.

Arsenal still haven’t convinced Alexis Sánchez or Mesut Özil to sign new deals, even though Arsène Wenger has got Gunnersaurus conducting negotiations now. They might have more luck with Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, whose current deal runs out in 18 months. “I want Alex to stay at the club,” Wenger said, mainly because having to buying a replacement would get in the way of him watching a German third division match. Wenger’s not so bothered about keeping Carl Jenkinson, though, and he’ll let the right-back join Aston Villa.

Villa are also preparing a “dramatic” £10m move for Norwich City’s Robbie Brady, although what’s so dramatic about it remains unclear. Perhaps renowned novelist Steve Bruce is developing a new series of books focusing on the Irish winger, in which he doubles up as a maverick spy or a veterinarian surgeon with a dark secret. However Villa’s interest in Middlesbrough’s Jordan Rhodes is judged to be less dramatic. No starring role in a book for Rhodes, who will have to settle for Bruce singing Eternal’s Don’t You Love Me at him.