You, the intelligent, novel-reading, eloquent reader is probably in search of NCAA Tournament analysis. We like to provide you with well thought out breakdowns and opinions on all things mid-major basketball at this site, and that’s definitely something that you can find on the site in the coming days.

However, if that’s the type of analysis you’re looking for, I have some bad news for you. This article isn’t for you. I, the good blogger boy, am here to deliver the takes that you don’t want to hear, but need to hear. The takes are fresh out of the oven, so handle with caution.

MID-MAJOR MASCOT POWER RANKINGS

1. Northern Kentucky Norse

2. Kent State Golden Flashes

3. South Dakota State Jackrabbits

4. New Orleans Privateers

5. Middle Tennessee Blue Raiders

6. Nevada Wolf Pack

7. UNC Wilmington Seahawks

8. Wichita State Shockers

9. Bucknell Bison

10. Jacksonville Gamecocks

T-11. Saint Mary’s Gaels

T-11. Iona Gaels

13. Mount St. Mary’s Mountaineers

14. East Tennessee State Buccaneers

15. Troy Trojans

16. North Dakota Fighting Hawks

17. Dayton Flyers

18. Vermont Catamounts

T-19. VCU Rams

T-19. Rhode Island Rams

T-21. New Mexico State Aggies

T-21. UC Davis Aggies

T-23. Princeton Tigers

T-23. Texas Southern Tigers

T-25. Winthrop Eagles

T-25. Florida Gulf Coast Eagles

T-25. North Carolina Central Eagles

28. Gonzaga Bulldogs

All mascot rankings are final, please do not @ me on such matters. Thanks.