Every week, I’m going to rank the players based on their impact in the episode. These rankings are going to be completely subjective (so please don’t spend too much time critiquing them) based on my feelings of how entertaining the characters were, how they did competitively/politically, and how the episode impacted their overall game.

I’m going to keep running totals to determine who has the best season on War of the Worlds 2. The winner of this prestigious championship will be awarded the grand prize of nothing.

Let’s get to it.

Rankings

31. Faith- In the second out of nowhere exit of the night, Faith decided to leave the house because she got mad that Bear and the other boys were being loud late at night.

The whole scene was strange — Faith was shown banging pans with a couple of security members already flanking her. Kyle clearly thought Faith went too far, saying that she woke up all the guys in the UK boys room when it was only Bear that she had a problem with.

It’s bizarre that we couldn’t get more explanation of why Faith went home, especially since the episodes are 1.5 hours this season.

It’s not like Faith had any chance of doing well this season — she was obviously at the bottom of the totem pole for the US girls.

I stand by my question from last week — seriously, why did they cast Faith instead of Angela (or Kailah? Hell, I would have rather seen Aneesa or Veronica).

A real head scratcher from the boys at BMP.

Regardless, it’s more than likely we’ll never see Faith again.

30. Zahida- Listen, I love my grandma, but I’m not leaving The Challenge to go to her funeral.

I know it sounds harsh and everyone is different, but I just know I wouldn’t pass up the opportunity to be on the show.

Maybe she was super close to her grandma and her loss just broke Zahida (we don’t know because it was barely shown on TV), either way it’s her choice and she made the one she felt was best for herself.

But there’s a good chance she will never be on the show again because of her decision to leave.

29. Kam- In the past I’ve given Kam a lot of credit for being a great all-around player despite not liking her as a character.

And while I’ve usually been a fan of her political game, I have no idea what she was thinking this week. I’m not sure why she stepped up to be the speaker of the tribunal in a basically meaningless week, but even more bizarre was her plan to target Georgia.

I just don’t understand the logic. Throwing Georgia in against Big T, there was about a 95 percent chance Georgia would win. It would have been a high reward of arguably the best female on Team UK going home, but it was a very, very, very high risk that Georgia would be coming back. Now, Kam has made an enemy of the leader of the females on Team UK — not a great spot to be in.

If Kam wanted to attack Georgia’s spot at the top of Team UK and help Kayleigh move higher in the pecking order, she should have targeted Nicole. She’s a guaranteed vote for Georgia, and she’s unproven as a competitor. What makes it even stranger is that in the after show Georgia and Kam said they were friends before the show.

Kam’s move here was almost the opposite of Kam’s plan from two seasons ago. On Final Reckoning, she made a brilliant plan to have every team burn their votes on each other so she could decide both of the teams that went into elimination. However, the matchup she desired of Jozea/Da’Vonne vs. Angela/Faith were the two least controversial teams she could have put in.

This time she went after someone who could definitely come back to haunt her.

28. Kayleigh- She has aligned herself directly against Georgia, which probably isn’t a good move for her. Clearly she had a problem with her, but it was too early to try to make a move on Georgia. As Kam’s number one ally, she will now face the heat of targeting one of the top players on her team.

27. Idris- Gave a confessional where the entire thing had to be put in captions. I don’t think we’ll be going to Idris for many one-liners this season.

26. Joss- He had about as much screentime as Zahida this episode.

25. Josh- He got called out by Bananas for trying to save Georgia. It’s hilarious that Josh thinks his opinion matters at all on Team US.

24. Nicole- Her only role on this season so far is being Georgia’s mucker.

23. Ninja- Her only role on this season so far is being Dee’s mucker.

22. Theo- It’s still early, but I’m fairly surprised at how little we’ve seen of Theo so far.

21. Leroy- Yet to do anything of note this season.

20. Zach- See: Leroy.

19. Nany- With Faith going home, Nany is now clearly the weakest girl on Team US. It’ll be interesting to see where she stands in the pecking order, but I don’t see her being in trouble for awhile. She has a lot friends on this team and is likely ahead of Ninja and potentially Ashley/Kam/Cara as well.

18. Tori- Her calling out Kam for not accomplishing anything in her career was an…interesting choice considering Kam beat Tori in an elimination (when Tori came in as a mercenary) on Vendettas, and given how similar their careers have been (both made the final in their rookie season but haven’t made one since).

17. Turbo- His English sucks, but we still love him.

16. Laurel- After talking to Bear for more than five minutes, she still has a crush on him. At this point with Laurel’s dating history, it wouldn’t surprise me if she started dating Puck Rainey.

15–14. Para- The power couple of Cara and Paulie have continued to be relatively quiet this season. Although Paulie was in the tribunal this week, he didn’t do much other than be a zombie for Kam’s plan.

13–12. Dogan- I’m putting the bigger power couple of Dee and Rogan together this week. If you don’t like the couple name Dogan, it was between either that or Ree.

11. Esther- She showed she has a bubbly personality this week, but with Big T gone she is likely next on the chopping block for the Team UK women.

10. Jenny- We learned this week that Jenny is basically a fembot who walks on her hands for fun. The doctor who created her in a lab overdid it a bit on her lips, though.

9. Ashley- I was worried coming into this season that Ashley wouldn’t have any friends on her team, so it was a good sign for her that Kam chose her to be in the tribunal. Like Paulie, she basically just went along with everything Kam said, which is good strategy this early in the game.

Also, I don’t think I’ve ever ever been more attracted to Ashley in my life as I was in this episode. She was rocking the white and red top at the Proving Ground.

Ashley, if you want to use the money you stole from Hunter to be my sugar mama, hmu.

8. Jordan- After putting him in my number one spot last week, I was not a fan of the things Jordan did this week. After the elimination between Sean and Idris, he immediately called a team meeting and called out Wes for being a snake. Then at the mission he was the loudest voice on his team coming up with the gameplan.

I think he’s putting the spotlight on himself a little too much, too early, and needs to reel it back a bit.

7. Bear- Continued canoodling with Laurel, and was apparently the impetus that caused Faith to go home. Still, I think Bear is in trouble on Team UK and it wouldn’t surprise me if he goes in next week.

6. Wes- Speaking of being in trouble, Wes looks absolutely fucked. He was exposed for passing along information to Rogan and it looks like he doesn’t have a single ally on Team US.

Now of course, it shouldn’t really be a big deal that someone from the US has allies on the other side. Given the format of the game, it would be dumb to not make alliances with the UK players.

But since it’s Wes, who has a vaunted history of being shady, it immediately casts a huge target on his back.

Even though his game is in dire trouble, Wes ranks this high for me because I loved trying to watching him put on the spot about his alliances with both Rogan and Dee, his fight with Jordan after he came back from the hospital was hilarious and he beasted the swimming portion of the mission despite being sick.

Even if Team US wins the next mission, I could see the tribunal putting in Wes against whoever Team UK throws in. There’s a chance we see a Wes vs. Bear showdown as early as next week.

5. Kyle- He’s still trying to find his role on Team UK. Although on paper he should maybe be the leader of the team (given he’s the most experienced person from the UK on the team), he has smartly stepped back to let CT run the show.

4. Bananas- Johnny is not taking any shit this season. He’s been quick to call out people like Wes and Josh for trying to save people on the other side, and he’s done a great job of subtly putting a target on the back of his redheaded nemesis.

Bananas has stepped back and taken on more of an assistant coach role, which is smart gameplay for someone like him who enters every season with a massive target on his back.

3. CT- I’m glad to see he’s carved himself out the leadership position on Team UK.

Of course it’s not surprising, the dude is on his 19th season (counting Champs vs.). The rest of Team UK has a whopping 12 seasons of experience combined.

CT has to run this team because they’re hopeless without him. I thought the US not picking CT was a mistake, and my belief was reinforced more this episode.

While Turbo is obviously the better competitor at this stage in his career, he’s not going to run a team and it would have left the UK completely devoid of a leader. If you’re asking Kyle or Bear to be the leader, you’re screwed.

The choice between Turbo and CT might be irrelevant because of how stacked the US is, but I still think CT was the right choice for the US. Plus, it just feels wrong that he’s on Team UK.

I don’t care if he weighs 600 pounds and has to compete on a mobility scooter, I want CT to keep doing the show forever.

I mean watch this clip and tell me you don’t love him.

2. Big T

Some losses aren’t really losses.

I know that sounds like some Disney movie shit, but in the case of Big T, she really does deserve praise for her fight against Georgia.

Nobody was expecting her to make Georgia sweat, but she was able to stave off defeat in the tough Firestarter elimination for more than an hour and a half.

Do you know how long an hour and a half is? It’s the same amount of time as this episode (with commercials). So basically in the same amount of time Big T competed against Georgia, you sat on your ass and watched The Challenge.

Her battle was reminiscent of a post-eating disorder Paula’s Pole Wrestle elimination against Aneesa on The Duel.

Unlike Miss Walnuts, I don’t see her coming back as a mainstay on the show — or ever again for that matter. But like Paula said back then, she can at least say to herself that she has a little fighter inside of her.

Georgia

A lot of bullshit happened to Georgia this episode.

She was rumored by Kayleigh to have said that she was “untouchable,” which she never said on the show, and she was targeted by Kam — someone who she was good friends with last season.

Still, Georgia came out on top, pushing her elimination record to 3–0. And after faking like she was going to become a turncoat and join the US, she came back to Team UK and should sit atop the totem pole on the girls’ side.

Kam and Kayleigh better watch their asses.

Stray Thoughts

I can’t see them sticking with these teams for very long. Team UK is just clearly outclassed by the US. The last two full season two-team challenges — Gauntlet III and The Ruins — also were absolute blowouts with the veteran-heavy teams dominating. This season will go the same way unless they change it up.

Both the mission and elimination were merely fine for me. There wasn’t a ton of teamwork necessary in Cryptic Crossbow other than finding the words, and it was such a blowout that the result was never in doubt. I liked the idea of the Firestarter elimination, but it was kind of boring to just watch Georgia and Big T push a dumpster around.

I’m mixed on how I feel about the tribunal right now. Ideally, I would like to see the tribunal formed based on performance. But it’s tough to design team missions where individuals’ performances can be quantified, and I also kind of like seeing the team dynamics of who gets into the tribunal. But I hope it doesn’t become a Tony/Zach Vendettas situation where the same people just keep going in (at least nobody can be in the tribunal two times in a row this season).

Overall this was just an okay episode for me. It didn’t help that I’m not a Kam fan and this episode was centered around her. I enjoyed seeing more of the team dynamics from both sides, but a blowout of a mission, two quits, and a Kam-themed episode dragged it down for me.

Episode Grade: C+

Season Standings

32. Sean (1)

31–30. Faith and Zahida (6)

29. Theo (16)

28. Nicole (17)

27. Ninja (19)

26. Kayleigh (19)

25. Kam (19)

24. Zach (21)

23. Esther (23)

22. Nany (24)

21. Joss (25)

20. Leroy (28)

19–18. Jenny and Idris (29)

17–16. Para (30)

15. Big T (32)

14–12. Tori, Turbo and Josh (37)

11–10. Ashley and Kyle (41)

9. Laurel (42)

8–7. Bananas and Dee (49)

6–5. Bear and Rogan (50)

4. Georgia (51)

3. Wes (54)

2–1. CT and Jordan (56)