How to Stop Watching FemDom and Fetish Porn? 3 Steps to Complete Recovery

Breaking down the psychology behind sexual deviations, pornography addiction, and how it can be controlled.

A couple of days back, a viewer on my YouTube channel wrote to me regarding his addiction to FemDom pornography. (View his message and my reply below)

What is Female Domination ‘FemDom’ Pornography?

For those of you that have watched my content on YouTube, I’m sure you’ve heard me call out this genre of pornographic content several times in the past.

Basically what it is, is pornography that focuses on a role reversal where the female takes the lead in dominating the male, and making him carry our various humiliating acts. This sort of pornography encourages feminization of men, homosexuality, cuckoldry, emasculation, unusual fetishes and induces a sense of sexual dysphoria in men.

I see this as a lethal social weapon that is being used to emasculate men. No two ways about it.

Emasculation of men in society:

Its negative effects are being amplified by things such as (1) an increasing popularization of such sexual fetishes in the media and pop culture, (2) society becoming more and more female-led and feminized, while labeling masculinity as ‘toxic’ and unnecessary (yea right…), and (3) more and more men unable to settle down in healthy relationships with women, who are being brainwashed with filth like ‘women don’t need men to do well in life’ and ‘all men are potential rapists’.

These are all interconnected factors that are resulting in a significant chunk of men turning to sexual tendencies that are not masculine or of any benefit to a man whatsoever.

How to stop watching FemDom porn?

Question:

“Hello there I just listened to 2 of your videos as I googled how to quit femdom porn and was glad that at least someone in the universe understands what I’m going through. it’s a very dark depressing place to be and I long to break these chains of addiction. I’m not currently religious although I do have a sense of connecting with the universe or nature if you will. I’m aware that scientifically there is an explanation for how our brains respond to such shocking material and how over time our frontal lobes are re wired which makes it very hard to quite this destructive behaviour. anyway if you have any suggestions or solutions you want to pass on it would be much appreciated, Thanks.”

Reply:

— start of email —

Hello J,

Appreciate you writing in. I am glad you found some consolation in my videos on the topic. Having had similar thoughts and habits in the past myself, I understand how destructive and demotivating it can be. Furthermore, studying the psychology behind such processes over the past coupe of years has re-affirmed to me the ruinous nature of content like femdom, findom, etc.

Identify objectives and a plan of action:

Correct me if I’m wrong, but assuming that your objective is to (i) get over your femdom addiction, (ii) reduce dependence on pornography, and (iii) engage in a healthy relationship with a woman, I’d recommend you fix things in that order.

(I) STEP 1: Reconditioning therapy (to get over femdom addiction and arouse yourself to more natural sexual tastes): You have already mentioned the science behind this in your email briefly. Practically either try arousing yourself to very regular pornography (things as simple as a striptease). If that is really hard to do, arouse yourself to some mild form of femdom (may a mildly femdom JOI video), but climax to regular porn or no porn at all- just visualizing regular intercourse. Mentally, this will help you recondition your mind to feeling a sense of pleasure to more regular sexual acts- an activity that you have desensitized your brain to, by watching more deviant types of sexual acts.

Do this about once a week, for as long as it takes for you to switch over form thinking about femdom, to thinking about pleasuring a woman, ‘normally’. If you have a habit of watching pornography daily, quit it. Once a week only.

(ii) STEP 2: NoFap and a better routine (to reduce your dependency on pornography): Some people start their femdom reboot directly with NoFap. The problem is, it- more often than not- builds up sexual tension longing for a femdom experience (thus my recommendation of first getting rid of that).

The community forums and articles on the NoFap, Your Brain on Porn and Porn Reboot websites have tons of information and motivation on how and why you should consider NoFap.

Life changing habits to rekindle your complete masculinity:

If you have frequently binge watched any form of pornography- let alone femdom- chances are your sexual urges control you. I look at NoFap as an opportunity to get over that. Look at it as you life changing transformation (I’ve mentioned for how long, below).

I am assuming you are not submissive to women, apart form when you’re behind the screen. Regardless of where you stand with that, giving up femdom addiction will be hard unless you start coming across as a more “alpha” male. Here are a few habits that I’d recommend along with the NoFap effort:

A better sleep schedule (sleeping and waking early, preferably by sunrise. Embracing the human body’s naturally photosensitive cardiac rhythm will fix a lot internally. Try it)

Cold showers twice a day (various benefits)

Eat right (High protein, decent amounts of unsaturated fats, only fibrous carbs- better muscle growth, better hormonal health, lower body fat)

Make some form of exercise a part of your daily habit (preferably something more masculine such as weight training, crossfit, MMA, boxing, etc)

Grow your hair and beard (ever seen a male lion without its mane?) Take the supplements I’ve mentioned below, and physically apply some blend of coconut and castor oil, or an off the shelf beard oil, if you have trouble with growing a full beard.

Supplement: Multivitamin (I’d recommend Opti Men by Optimum Nutrition) Various benefits.

Supplement: Ginseng (Better testosterone levels, beard growth, better muscular hypertrophy, and more)

Supplement: Omega 3–6–9 (Better hormonal health)

Supplement: ZMA by Optimum Nutrition (Better hormonal health and testosterone)

Reduce your dependence on any other addictive behavior. Cut it out and re-introduce it in moderation. They all have similar psychological stimuli. (excessive smartphone usage, music, cigarettes, television, binge eating, etc)

Make some form of mental stimulation a part of your daily habit (reading, analytical puzzles, and the like) Feel your mental capability and memory improve as you fix these other habits. It is not a placebo, but a very real improvement owing to improving neurogenesis.

Ignore business/ work/ friends/ relationship related stress. Do not let that cause a relapse. Mentally distance these external engagements from your soulfulness within. Meditation is a method you might want to consider for this. Every other day for a start, should be good.

Practice intentional solitude. Listen to all the voices in your head, and do what you need to, to deal with them.

If you stay home and spend too much time on the Internet watching trash, go out more often. Preferably a drive along areas with tons of nature or wildlife to connect with.

These are some of the things that I have put to use, and can- in theory- benefit you. Besides these, find other habits by yourself that will help you rekindle your inner masculinity.

How long will all this take?

These two steps, more so the second one, is part of the lifelong quest of many a men, to be the best versions of themselves. For as long as you are on this side of the grave, you will be on this quest- it is a never ending process. All I can say is that somewhere along this quest of being a better man, you will certainly be able to rid yourself of the ‘destructive’ addiction to femdom and pornography. If you really want me to put a number to it, I’d say anywhere between 6 months to a year, for a complete mental shift.

Relapses:

Relapses happen to the best of us. Depending on the severity of your addiction, you will most likely go through tens of relapses before you are able to maintain a long enough of a streak of not just NoFap but all the other habits above, to feel in better control of your self. I don’t know of any secret here. Good old persistence is what works. Remember the concept of behavioral reinstatement- every time you try again, you are more likely to succeed owing to your past experience at trying it. Every try counts. Just don’t quit on yourself.

Wet dreams while on NoFap

If you have never tried NoFap, you might experience a wet dream or two in your first month of abstinence. It’s normal. They will go away, as you practice longer. Rather it is a good sign that your body is regaining its ability to get off to things other than being humiliated by some sad cunt on the internet.

(iii) STEP 3: Finding a healthy relationship: I have lived in over 10 countries now, spanning across Central Asia, South East Asia, the Middle East and Europe. I tell you, third-wave feminism has ruined women’s ideals everywhere. With ‘divorce rapes’ at record highs, settling in with a woman is a risky gamble for most young men. You don’t mention your priorities here, but all I can say is that the human body naturally needs this intimacy with a female, to not wander off to deviant sexual tastes in its absence. If you can, find a woman who can support you on this journey of being a better man, and having a healthy sex life- that would be ideal. If your personal beliefs and morals allows for it, a more causal relationship could be an alternative to that. If you have no luck at all, and your morals and the legalities of where you live permit this, go out with an escort or a prostitute. Coming from the background of a femdom addict, your body will need this female intimacy to regain absolute masculinity. Hopefully this shouldn’t be a problem once you have your beard all grown out (women are going to look at you like an exclusive species from among a background of betas, trust me).

Apart from a relationship, the only other options I know of would be (a) something like following the MGTOW movement, or (b) religious celibacy.

I will leave this third aspect for you to decide. But know that you will have to find some other outlet for your sexual energy to prevent a pent up relapse to femdom after years of abstinence.

Where does religion fit in to help quit addictions:

Since you have mentioned that you are not too particular about a specific faith, I am going to respect that, and not play an evangelist. I have- for some time- studied various theologies. Eastern faiths (Buddhism, Hinduism). Abrahamic faiths (Christianity, Judaism and Islam). Hellenic philosophies (Stoicism, Pyrronism). What I have come to find is that although they reference the divine with different names and depictions, there is great unity in the way it is characterized. Weather it is Jesus, Karma, Buddha, Brahma, Zeus or Allah- whatever one might confide it- one must know that there is a greater form of consciousness beyond our perception. That’s all. It is for that reason that I never push people to a specific faith, but rather ask them to turn back to any one of their choice. Your belief system sounds- to me- like Ietism (aka ‘somethingism). Look it up. Panpsychism and Stoicism are two other philosophies that I’d suggest you read about, based on you existing belief. They are not religions per say, but rather philosophies that you can live by.

The reason why I recommend people to turn back to their own faiths is manifold. In short; because I think there is great power one experiences when he has faith in a greater, rightful consciousness. It keeps one going in all odds. Religion also helps one rationalize against things that may be ‘sinful’ thus preventing them from indulging in certain acts on moral grounds- which can be a very effective motivator.

Reading suggestions to reconnect with your spirituality:

I’d recommend you read ‘Siddhartha’ by the German author Herman Hesse, and ‘Meditations’ by the Greek Philoshopher Marcus Aurelius. They do not promote any specific faith, but talk about finding one’s spirituality in a very secular manner.

Reading suggestions to quit addictions:

(1) Your Brain on Porn: Internet Pornography and the Emerging Science of Addiction

(2) Treating Pornography Addiction: The Essential Tools for Recovery

(3) Wired for Intimacy: How Pornography Hijacks the Male Brain

Reading suggestions to regain your masculinity:

(1) Jordan Peterson: 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos

(2) The War Against Boys: How Misguided Policies are Harming Our Young Men

(3) Why Men Earn More: The Startling Truth Behind the Pay Gap and What Women Can Do About It

It think I will end here.

Feel free to write to me with any questions you might have. Progress updates are welcome too. It is always beneficial to have someone to talk to along the journey.

Have a good one.

— end of email —

Here are some of my videos on the topic:

Until next time.

You may write to me at askalphaspath@gmail.com

Find me on YouTube: bit.ly/alphaspath