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India is the most dangerous country for women — declared a study by Thomson Reuters foundation, while United Nations declared the most dangerous place for women is their home. Is family such a dangerous venture for a woman? If so, why not declare family itself as unlawful? Well, attempts were made and are still being made to dis-incentivise family relationships, while divorces are being emphasized as a big step towards woman empowerment. Two comparatively recent judgements confirms the trend. One — a live-in relationship is equated to that of being married or in other words institution of marriages has been equated to that of a live-in. The other declares that adultery is not an offense at all and has abolished section 497 terming it as oppressive against women. It needs to be noted that a women could never be an accused under adultery law even earlier, it was always a man vs man fight, in this case -the husband and the paramour of the wife. Still it was deemed oppressive patriarchal law simply on the premise that a woman was not a party to the case. So does family system has nothing to offer at all for the woman except for cruelty and oppression? Let us first analyze how the traditional family system has fared.

Family system offers social security

The family system takes care of the elderly and the infirm, the ill and the jobless, which constitutes its propensity to save. The sense of duty to the near and dear, more than one’s own rights, which is inherent in Indian family culture acts as the bulwark against the unbridled individualism of the modern West.

In the West, individualism propounded by Max Weber who, along with Karl Marx, reject the view that the individual is an integral part of the traditional family and society. Modernity asserts individuals’ rights over their duties to family and society. The superstructure of the modern economic theory – the rational man and efficient market – rests on this foundation.

In most of the West, family functions have been taken over by the State through social and health security, which, in substance, means nationalising families. Some 55 percent of the first marriages, 67 percent of the second and 74 percent of the third end in divorce in the US; more than half the families are without father and mother living together; With the institution of conventional marriages and families disturbed, almost half of American families are ‘fatherless’, single parent or unwed households and 41 per cent of the children are born for unwed mothers. The state has to step in to take over the care of elders, infirm and unemployed, forcing the government to spend more on housing, infrastructure and social obligations like welfare of the aged, children and the like. As a result, 40 per cent of US GDP is accounted for by social security. In 2010-11, withdrawals for social securities were more than deposits” from taxes. The state, which has thus effectively nationalised family, is itself becoming bankrupt.

In essence, the family system saves a hell lot of money for the government which otherwise would have been spent on social welfare.

Family system and current account deficit

Current account deficit is a measure of balance of payments in a country’s foreign trade. In short, the investment made into the country vs payments made to foreign countries. Men and in particular husbands work abroad, many a times in tough workload conditions. A large part of their earnings is sent back to their home country — read for the welfare of their wives and children. This money, usually termed as remittance in the language of economics is a big savior for Indian governments finance which is preventing widening of current account deficit.

The untold and mostly ignored truth is that the ‘remittances from the Indian workers for family expenses’ and ‘local withdrawals’ from the non-resident Indian accounts has saved India from external insolvency. The forex contributed by Indian families totalled $335 billion during the nine-year UPA regime, almost equal to the CAD. Not a single dollar of this remittance is returnable. It bears no interest. This huge lifeline remittance is not the product of economics laws or the government policies. It is the traditional, cultural gift to the Indian economy. Had the traditional Indian families, struggling against modern individualism, not held together, would there have been such remittance?

Family system promotes savings

The family system — especially all the Asian families tend to save a good part of their earnings for rainy days.They deposit close to Rs 10 lakh crore a year in the banks, which saves India from internal bankruptcy. The government could borrow within India because the traditional Indian families ‘safely’ bank their savings. Though men account for a very large percent of income tax (83% of direct taxes is from men), the economic survey states that women hold a third of number of bank accounts and a whopping 31% of the value of deposits. Essentially husbands save a huge chunk in their wives names.

Family system has invested ONE TRILLION US dollars for welfare of women

Traditionally, Indian family system used to divide wealth among the inheritors by giving land to their sons and gold to their daughters. These laws, now renegotiated, provide for equal sharing of land to all children whether sons or daughters. However, gold has still remained with daughters (No feminist talk about gender equality here for some reason☺️). Gold was always a means of financial security to the womenfolk in case of a calamity. Today, even though giving gold in marriage as tradition has been vilified, nevertheless the practice has still continued. This is not per se an argument that justifies forcing some family to give gold during marriage, which rightly deserves to be condemned, but a reflection of what the traditional investment of gold to women has resulted in.

World Gold council reports that Indian households hoard close to 25000 tonnes of gold estimated to be 1 trillion dollars. This is excluding another 5000 tonnes which is kept in biscuit forms i.e. Purely ornamental. The returns on gold almost matched the returns on equity.While in the past five years, the Rupee has depreciated by 47 per cent against the Dollar, gold has appreciated by 28 per cent against the Rupee. Almost all of this investment have been made by men and has been invested as a security for women.

The present situation

Families are breaking down at an alarming rate. The divorce rates which were at 1% during 2001 is at 3% today and if the “cases still under litigation” and “separated but no litigation started” are also included, its around 6%. That might look a very small number, but considering the population of India, the actual number is huge. A systematic lobbying camouflaged under “gender equality” has bought in multiple criminal laws, civil and quasi-criminal laws like the PWDVA (Domestic violence) which has wrecked havoc on the families. New criminal laws are being formulated and are under different stages — the Triple Talaq bill, Marital rape being a few of them. A mere allegation by a woman is sufficient to file a criminal case. Nearly 1.2 Lakh criminal cases related to matrimonial disputes have been filed every year, directly affecting over 6 lakh people who happen to be relatives of the husband — parents, grandparents, siblings along with their spouses and even their infant children. It needs to be noted that only the role of a “wife” is protected while women relatives of the husband are routinely arrested. The husband and his relatives have no legal protection in case they are being abused. In other words, its legal for a wife to inflict domestic violence on the husband and his relatives as she enjoys impunity under the DV law.

Over a million married men have committed suicide since the start of this century.The average family size, as a direct result of these disputes are shrinking every day. The society and men in particular have started losing faith in the marriage system and opted for a live-in relationship. It has turned out to be jumping from frying pan to the fire. A failed live-in relationship fetches a rape case under the category of “breach of promise to marry”. The unbridled #MeToo movement coupled with prevention of sexual harassment at workplace laws has resulted in men exercising caution by avoiding recruiting and mentoring women, especially when they are alone. A new genre movement of MGTOW (Men Going Their Own Way) has started, where men refuse to entertain any kind of relationships with women — not even offering as little an assistance in lifting a heavy luggage. Though still in nascent stage, it is gathering momentum. Once the trust on the family system is completely broken and men subscribe to MGTOW ideology, trying to bring in a revival is a futile gesture. This has already been witnessed in the West and even countries like Japan. Japan, in 2005, the percentage of unmarried men between the ages of 35-39 was 30.9%. This trend is now witnessed in India as well with the average household size dropping to below 4 (3.9) for the first time in urban households during 2017–18. The marriage rates have started to show a declining trend.

Either respond or die

So the family system aka the Indian men have contributed significantly to the economy and welfare of women because of familial ties. Does India want to ape the western standards of individualism over family as a basic unit? Can Indian government afford to replace social security system in place to look after the elderly and neglected children? Can India manage it’s economy by destroying the family system? Will the government respond by de-criminalizing marital laws along with legislating gender neutral laws and re-affirm faith of the society in the family system? Or will it continue promoting individualism in the garb of women empowerment and kill the family system? It can do so at its own peril. Otherwise, the society as a whole needs to act now. Only time will tell which direction India will meander.

The author can be reached at:

mail: rajeevmysore@gmail.com

Twitter: rajeev Lochan

Images are sourced from the net.