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Feng Shui for You and Your Cat is 154 pages of home decorating tips to maximize your cat's spiritual happiness, except 80 pages are just portraits of cats nowhere near furniture. It's like someone spent three years of their life taking glamour shots of pets and only made this book about furniture sorcery to not look crazy.

Let's assume for the sake of the cats that there is an invisible force called qi that flows through your apartment. It can heal wounds, cheer you up and even block yoga flames, yet it's completely foiled by an improperly facing card table. I already know it works, because every war has been won by the side with the most unimpeded qi in their foxholes. So I'm not trying to convince anyone that feng shui is real. I'm trying to say that when you're dealing with an animal that at any time may see a ghost and sprint into the wall, magical furniture arrangement is pretty irrelevant. I mean, am I right, wizards?

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