Dear Amy: I am a 40-year-old divorced father of 14-year-old twin sons.

Recently, a new neighbor moved in next door. She is a very nice, charming and easy to get along with 30-year-old single woman whom I’ll call “Martha.” A problem has arisen, and I need some advice. On weekend afternoons when my sons play baseball in our back yard, Martha sunbathes topless in her back yard (always while lying on her stomach, as far as I know).

The tall wooden fence between our yards provides her some privacy. However, when the boys hit a foul ball into her yard, she allows one of them to come over to retrieve it.

Even though the fence is tall enough to prevent the boys from peering in at her, and even though she stays lying on her stomach whenever she is topless, the boys seem to hit more than their fair share of foul balls over the fence. This past weekend while they were retrieving a ball from her yard, Martha allowed one of the boys to apply sunscreen lotion on her back.

I found her behavior inappropriate, because my boys are at the age when they notice girls, and because she doesn’t always keep her arms tightly at her side when sunbathing.

When I spoke to her about this, Martha said that it isn’t a big deal and that the boys are perfect gentlemen.

Now what do I do? Am I making a big deal out of nothing? Should I prohibit my sons from backyard baseball and make them go to the playground field a few blocks away?

— Concerned Dad in Pa.

Dear Concerned: The lotion spreading is not good at all.

If your sons were daughters, and if your neighbor was a 30-year-old man, you would see this behavior as worse than inappropriate. You might see it as predatory. Of course “Martha” doesn’t think this is a big deal. But she is in no position to judge.

Your sons should not have any physical contact with your neighbor.

As their dad, you should make this extremely clear to all parties, and then you should be vigilant to make sure that their contact remains nothing more than a neighborly “howdy” over the back fence.

Dear Amy: Last winter, I bumped the car behind me while backing into a parking space. I don’t believe I bumped it hard enough to damage it. Just then, the owner arrived; I think he checked the car over, and, as he drove off, he called something out to me.

I should have gotten out of my car and apologized, but I didn’t, and to this day, I don’t know why. I think I was in a state of shock.

I have never done anything like this before. I felt so bad that I didn’t take responsibility at the time this happened. I am still beating myself up over this.

I hope that if you print this, the driver might read it. I don’t expect forgiveness; I just want him to know how sorry I am.

— Seeking Closure

Dear Seeking: I’ll quote a friend of mine when I did something similar: “They’re called ‘bumpers’ for a reason.” If he had an opportunity to knock on your window to talk about the situation and chose not to, then you don’t have a problem. The fact that the other guy drove off before you did proves that he suffered from aggravation – nothing more.