Please brace yourself for the tragic news that Ukip has lost access to a major source of European Union campaign funding. Astonishingly, it involves a scandal over Ukip’s “misuse of money” and an element of Ukip incompetence.

It seems that the Ukip-dominated Alliance for Direct Democracy in Europe (ADDE) became insolvent in April, after the EU parliament demanded that some funding be repaid after £500,000 was wrongly spent on EU referendum polling. ADDE has since missed the deadline to register for EU funding next year because it forgot to fill in the forms. Come on, we’ve all done it: it’s very easy to overlook such trifles as applying for funds that could total £1.5m.

Ukip still has access to loads-a-euros via Europe of Freedom and Direct Democracy, of which Nigel Farage just happens, by sheer, crazy coincidence, to be president. However, does this adequately compensate for the human rights disaster of an anti-EU organisation not receiving EU funding because it was too thick and disorganised to apply on time? My fellow countrymen and women: who will march with me about this – and where’s Crowdfunder when you need it?