Chapter Text

Alone in the God Domain, Rachel awoke. Flat on her back. In a very deep pain. A very indescribable pain. If a doctor was there and was to ask her where she hurt, she would only be able to say 'Everywhere' followed by 'and Nowhere'. And that frustrating response would be all she could give. It was a numb sort of pain, like having your funny bone hit hard, but on a scale far beyond that and in a much more profound level. Her existence, her soul, her being. It was in pain. She could not move under this pain. She could not think. She couldn't control her breathing. All she could do was sit there and think and look. In pain.

There were a few curious things to note of this pain on this girl. One; no living being was around her to give her pain recognition or her suffering acknowledgement.

Two, although she would not come to find out this truth for a long, long, long time; as much as time even had meaning where she laid... this pain nevertheless had a purpose. In the God Domain, no impurities could be allowed. This pain was the first step on the journey the God Domain naturally forced upon her soul. Unlike the Tower's Laws or the Laws you and I know this process abides by a higher Law. The Law of a God. An Eye for an Eye. A tooth for a tooth. With Love and Compassion to all mankind, equally. The sin will be burnt away. That was the first step.

Thirdly, finally, and most curiously of all, despite this unfathomable pain, the sort if you experienced for a moment, you would not wish on your worst enemy, the girl refused to close her eyes or clench her teeth. I say refuse, but... that's not quite right. It's more like her senses were overwhelmed by something even greater than that pain. That is of course because, the girl who was on her back, feeling the harshest attacks of purgatory, could only look up and see one thing. The True Stars of the Heavens shining above her. The sparkles exploded, a million different colors and opacities, into x-rays and gamma rays. Radio waves and Ultralights. Some light was strong and bright enough to be solid, while some light weak and dying, heaving out gorgeous spasms of nuclear fire extending over countless horizons.

Pulsars and quasars. Twin-stars and white stars. Red giants and blue dwarfs. An infinite radiance and grace, all shining over and into her eyes. A sight no human could ever see. A sight no one was meant ever to see. And the warmth of those infinite stars, living, dying, breathing, shone down on her and covered her up, tenderly, as if with a Mother's love and forgiveness, protecting her from the worst of the pain. A blanket of star light, dancing in tapestry on the Night of Gods Domain.



At last a miracle occurred. The girl spoke one word.

"Arlene..." Rachel said, voice stretched, twisted and prolonged by a thousand and one agonies...

By this point her thoughts had long gone empty. Between the pain, the warmth, the view, the confusion, and the absolute catharsis of accomplishing her greatest wish, over all the many life times that transcended even her current state, her brain was a void; her consciousness gone.





She was nothing more than a human soul. Instinct, ego, emotion, suffering, all of the aspects at the absolute core of our beings... that's all she was, all she could bare to be at this point.

And she sobbed. She cried like a newborn, snot running down her nose in rivers, salty tears covering ever her wide open eyes, eyes she could not dare to shut. And loud, body-shaking screams. Under the Starlight she screamed and cried.

"Arlene... I..." her tears came even more heavily now, "I miss you.. so... much..."



And she choked on her tears... and the pain of Purgatory flared to its highest point, paralyzing her body from even her wretched screams, from even her choked gasps of breaths, and all at once her body shut down. Even her subconscious shut down, with her heart shortly thereafter stopping. Her face forever paused into a picture of utter despair, sorrow, agony, and a weird joy. Or, at least, it should have been forever.

But that's when another miracle occurred. The starlight whispered in a language never spoken before.

'Rachel, my silly little child...' the flashes twinkled spiraling in the sky the spheres moving and glistening, 'I never really left you. I was there with you... always. Nothing you could do could stop the love I have for you, and there is no force in all the universes that could tear my love for you... after all... you're family... our precious little daughter-in-law... isn't that right... V?"

A black hole and a white hole brightened up and twisted together in the array of cosmic yin-yang sign, before forming the visage of a lone swordsman, lone, no longer



'Hmph. She shall live.'



At this, the stars seemed to smack the swordsman over the head. 'Bastard... always so cold, huh? You think I don't see you trying to hold in your tears?'





"I... shut up... like I would cry over something like this..." at this the visage turned its head sharply away from the starlight, and sent its power, its Love, down into the the girls mouth, which even dead instinctively opened to receive its essence.



The Starlight and Gravity swelled up within her, beating her torn heart into action action. Having used all the Power and Love they had to give, they knew she'd be alright. That the rest of its journey was hers alone to make. They had faith. The hard part was already over after all. Besides...



'We will always be with you, love. Always.' the Starlight whispered, caressing her face one last time as the light dimmed, its power leaving completely, the visage turned back into the yin-yang sing, before finally reverting back into black and white holes...

'Live... learn... grow... love... we'll be watching... you only need... to look up.. and hope,'





Rachel coughed into existence again. Confused even more than the last time she woke up, her body wasn't in pain at all but her mind was broken. Her memory was shattered. Although her body tingled with a warmth and energy that made her feel like she could leap up and grasp the stars above her, she had no idea where or why she was here.



It's at this point that she sat up, surprised by how easy it was to sit up before she looked around her. The stars above were indeed beautiful, but the sphere of heaven was all around her too. To her left were endless stars, and to her right, more endless cosmos. Looking down beneath her legs, she saw that she was siting on nothing. Truly. If there was a 'ground' beneath her it had no desire to show itself to her, there was only more endless stars.

Scared and frightened, she immediately jumped up to her feet.

"Ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" She screamed and jumped, certain that at any moment she'd fall through to her death. But after a minute of jumping, she stopped. Nothing happened. The stars kept twinkling. Her heart kept beating. And she never fell down anywhere.



"What is going on here!?!" Rachel demanded. But of course her demands weren't answered. The stars continued twinkling along despite her provocations.



At this point, she had a tingling feeling on the back of her neck, an impending sense of dread and doom.

Gulping for a second, she turned around slowly, finding a man laying down behind her.

For a long pause she stood there frozen in fear. Who was this man? Why was he here? Why was she here? Should she bother him? Would he hurt her if she did? Something about the boys form terrified her... and excited her too... Someone else was really here with her.

At last her curiosity overwhelmed her and she shuffled her feet over to the boy laying before her. Strangely, as she came closer to him, his face was blurred, almost as if reality was censoring him from her view. At this she furrowed her brows deeply and ground her teeth in yet more confusion and frustration. She slowly got to one knee beside him, trying to peer deeper into his face, to clear up this censorship... but... she couldn't break through no matter how hard she tried. She felt the boys neck for a pulse, but found nothing. The boy was cold, and by all seeming intents and purposes, dead. But the censorship was blurring and moving, as if it was static on a screen, and she couldn't help the feeling that somehow she knew this man? But who was he?



"Wait... who is he? Who am I???" She stood up again, balling her firsts and tilting her head up to the stars above, "This doesn't make any sense!!!!!! This isn't fair!!!!!!! What is going on here!!!!! Who! Am! I???????????????" And as she screamed, expecting nothing but hoping for anything, even the slightest relief to her frustration and confusion, a star dropped down slowly out of the sky, falling, before her.



"Wha-" But before she could even finish her sentence, the star started playing her life over for her. The girl watched, neutrally at first, as she hadn't even gotten a look at herself to match up the sights she was seeing with who was playing out on the screen. She saw a girl being born in an underground cave, the baby growing up in poverty, struggling to survive, but loved very much by two parents.



"Why are you showing me this?" She wondered, but the star didn't answer. It only kept showing her more and more.



The girl grew up, happily, if a little under nourished, but then, out of nowhere, big, brutal men stormed into the child's house, and as her parents quickly stood up and shouted, the thugs laughed, took out swords, and cut her parents down.

The Little girl barely understood what was going on, as the thugs looked at each other and laughed, taking the child screaming for its mother away from the house.

Years flew by. The girl grew up as a slave, trying to hold onto memories of happier times and of her parents, but those memories flew away more and more with every day. With each beating and conditioning with starvation and rare treats, she became a shell of a person. A robot for the highest bidders. And so for a time she served various roles, whoever could afford the services of her as a slave girl.

She did all kinds of things for all sorts of people. Cooking. Cleaning. Field work. If she was lucky. If she wasn't... she was used for more unspeakable things. The years continued to fly and as the girl grew into young adolescence, Rachel realized at last the girl she was watching was her. The scenes she was watching. They were her memories. They were her pains and joys. She could only hold herself tight, bound tight at the spot, unable to keep her eyes away.



At last one day, the slave master gives her a weird knowing grin. And before she knew it she was swept away again. This time she found herself under the care of a beautiful woman. She called herself Arlene. She was always smiling warmly at her. But that only drove fear into young Rachel. At first Arlene tried to ask Rachel what she wanted. Rachel couldn't answer such a simple profound question. Wants? The very idea of wanting something for herself had long since been beaten out of her. She could only stand there and stare at Arlene with dead eyes. Seeing she'd get no answer, Arlene decided to change tacks. She asked Rachel what she could do? And so Rachel listed out all of her knowledge and capabilities. Arlenes eyes narrowed when Rachel talked about the pleasure services she could provide, but that lasted only for a second.

She clapped her hands and said, great. I could use a maid! Rachel took a look around the house of Arlene and found it spotless, so she doubted that. But still it was not her place to question her new master, so she immediately began to clean.

As Rachel cleaned, Arlene would talk to her about all sorts of things. She told her fantastic stories of a Tower and Fairies. She told her of the Love of God and how your wishes could be granted and come true. And more than anything else she talked about the stars. Arlene shared over and over again how she couldn't wait to see them some day. How they could pierce through even the darkest of nights, and shine, so brightly. She smiled. Her smile was bright too, just like those stars she talked about. Despite herself, over time, that smile started to pierce Rachel.



Arlene would talk about many things to Rachel, but Rachel would hardly ever respond, and if she did it was simply a 'yes, master' or 'yes, mam' . Arlene had some funny ideas. She kept telling Rachel that to live she had to find something she really cared for. Something she valued and wanted more than her life. She said that living things only find their worth, only find meaning in their lives by having something greater. That was the one thing that defined intelligent life. She looked at Rachel and always asked her what she wanted. But she never got a response. Arlene would always smile at that.

'That's okay.' She would say. 'Although its true that no one is really living, until they find something they want and dream about more than anything... every living thing, everything that breathes and beats its heart, everything that walks and moves and thinks... everyone can have the hope to change, to find that something. As long as they are alive, they can find that strength. They can find what it means to live. Even you, Rachel.'

Rachel inwardly snorted at this, even as she dutifully replied with a yes master. After all, as far as Rachel was concerned, she was living just fine, even without a dream or a want. She woke up every day. She could move every day. She could clean and cook. She was very much alive.

Arlene would look at her funny at these times, with eyes that seemed like they could pierce through her, seeing all her thoughts, and more than that, all of her possibilities, but she never went further than a faint smile.

Rachel watched herself in those moments, the Star continued to shine her life unto her. Every thought and feeling hitting her as if she was thinking and feeling it for the very first time. A single tear silently ran down her face. The sorrow. The warmth. The pain. The Love. From the past and from her present self. All washing together. She was a wreck. But she still couldn't watching.

A year went by. Then two. Young Rachel's shell started to break and drop. Arlene's unconditional love and kindness slowly wiped her away. Although she continued to serve as her maid, she felt love for Arlene like she was her mother and Arlene in turn loved her as a daughter she never had. There was a lot of laughter and joy in the house. And Arlene kept telling her stories and talking to her. Kept searching out in Rachel something for her to live for when she was gone. Because, Arlene knew although she couldn't say, that she would be gone soon. Being outside the Tower was killing her slowly. For a while Rachel could only smile and nod, but one day when Rachel was asked if she wanted anything she smiled and with all her heart she said,

'I want to see the stars, like you, Arlene!' Rachel laughed, assured that this would make Arlene happy. But she quickly noticed it was only a bittersweet smile Arlene gave her.

'Little one... I'm flattered but... that's not your dream. It's mine. You can't live off of my dream, Rachel. I want you to live for yourself. I want you to find something you truly love to the bottom of your heart. When I'm gone, I want you to find something you can live for.'

'No! This is my dream Arlene! And you're not going anywhere! I'm going to see the stars and so are you! And that's it!'

Young Rachel stomped her feet and then ran out of the house.

Arlene just watched her and sighed. 'Youth. Well. Hopefully she understands my words someday. I'm starting to run out of time after all. I can only... do so much for that child... what a cruel fate... the lies for her,'

And like all prophecy this came to be true. Arlene quickly grew sick after that day. Slowly she spent less time awake and even less time out of bed. 14 hours. Then 12. Then 10. 8. 4. 2. Until it was just an hour awake each day. And then less. All the while Rachel helplessly watched on. Tending to her needs as best she could, using all her knowledge and skill, but... there was nothing she could do. Without shinsoo Arlenes cells were doomed to die, utterly, and while she knew this, Rachel did not. She could only sit by Arlenes side and watch as she wasted away.

Over the course of her illness she started to ramble more and more. Her brain and control failing her. She would get extreme mood swings. Rage at some man named Zahard, tears for her all the friends and family she had lost, ancient spells and recitations that now had no power... blind prophecies in languages she couldn't understand...this carried on for sometime getting worse and worse, until she was never sane even for the little time she was awake.

At this, Rachel started to truly despair but there was nothing she could do. Finally, Arlene wouldn't wake up. She stayed asleep for a week, then a month straight. Rachel never left her side during that whole time. All she could do was listen to her masters breathing and hope and pray. She wished upon a star, a star that would never come into the deep, dark, desolate place she was in.

Finally, Arlene woke up. Alert, she shook Rachel up from here sleep.

'Arle-ne?" She groaned, rubbing her red puffy eyes, before noticing that Arlene was truly awake, 'Arlene! You're awake! Uhm. Is there anything I can get you?'

"Hush, child. I don't have much time... and I have so much to tell you... so much I want to tell you... so much I just can't tell you... but...' at this Arlene's words trailed off as if loosing strength.

'What do you mean? You don't have much time? Comeon. Now that you're awake and feeling better, we can get you some food and get up and play' Rachel definitely tried to close her eyes to the reality that was before her.

However, Arlene couldn't afford to let her do that, so she said it plainly. 'Rachel. I'm dying. And there's nothing you, nor I, or anyone can do to change that.'

'No, Arlene. You can't die. Please. I'll be a good girl. I'll do everything you say. You still have to see the stars, remember?' Rachel choked.

'Rachel. My love. I'm so proud of you. I'm proud of the girl you've become, and I will always be watching over you. I need you to be strong for me and listen. Okay?'

Nodding at the seriousness at which Arlene spoke Rachel quickly sat at attention.

'I know you've been going to the cave out back. The cave I told you never to go into.'

"Uh..' Rachel flinched but admitted it, 'You're right. I have... I'm sorry.'

'It's okay, that's just how it had to be. But Rachel, now that that caves open... when I'm gone, all the magic protecting that place will disappear, you'll have to quickly enter it one last time, and take the path that will reveal itself in the back. You'll have to leave this place. To the Tower of God.' Arlene instructed.

'But what about you? Who will take care of you, Arlene?' Rachel still held on to her innocence.

'Nothing can change my fate now, Rachel. But yours... your story is yet to be written. Listen to me. Run to the Tower. Climb it, by any means necessary. If it's you, I know you can reach the top.' Arlene grasped out reaching for Rachel's hand, holding it tight.

'Promise me Rachel. Promise me you'll go there. You're the only one who can carry my wish on.' Arlene begged.

'Yes! I promise! No matter what... I'll climb the Tower and... I'll see those stars of yours! So please... don't leave me.' Rachel cried holding tightly to the weak hand of Arlene's. The one that was always so firm and loving on her head.

'Good. You're a good girl, Rachel. Don't forget that, at your heart, you're good... and...' The breathing started to come very slowly for Arlene now, and even Rachel could tell she was close to her end now...

'And... never forget... I love... you.' Arlene exhaled for the last time, dying her hand dropping from Rachel's as she sat there in shock, before crying and burying her head into Arlene's now limp hand.

Rachel, in the God Domain, was struck with that sharp pain all over again... the heart wrenching loss of Arlene, the anchor of her whole life... was gone, taken from her again. but even as she fell to her knees and cried all over again in tune with her young self, she couldn't stop watching. She knew she had to see this through. Who she was. She had to know. And so she watched as her younger self eventually gripped her fists, a powerful rage and determination building within her. She quickly gathered herself together, and ran. Ran so hard and so fast to the cave, it seemed like she had always been running. Down away from the house. Away from her life. Arlene's words and her promise fueling her every step. Running down to the cave. Where the Tower of God would begin again.