Four-time Grammy-winning pop-soul singer Sam Smith opened up to British GQ about the deep sadness he endures on the days where he is “in the middle of” being a woman and being a man.

“Ever since I was a little boy, ever since I was a little human, I didn’t feel comfortable being a man, really,” Sam Smith told the magazine for its latest cover issue. “Some days I’ve got my manly side and some days I’ve got my womanly side, but it’s when I’m in the middle of that switch that I get really, really depressed and sad. Because I don’t know who I am or where I am or what I’m doing, and I feel very misunderstood by myself. I realized that’s because I don’t fit into either.”

Indeed, in a March interview with feminist personality Jameela Jamil, Smith said he’s “somewhere in between” male and female.

“I’ve sometimes sat and questioned, do I want a sex change? It’s something I still think about: ‘Do I want to?’ I don’t think it is,” Smith said.

“When I saw the nonbinary, genderqueer, and I read into it, and I heard these people speaking, I was like, ‘Fuck, that is me.’ I’m not male or female. I think I float somewhere in between. It’s all on the spectrum,” the “Stay with Me” singer said, later clarifying what referring to himself as “genderqueer” means. “Non-binary/genderqueer is that you do not identify in a gender. You are a mixture of all different things. You are your own special creation.”

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