(National Report) – One more thing to love about the big state of Texas besides the W Library, low worker safety and funny tasting water – A TESTICLE FESTIVAL! YEE HAW!

Who doesn’t like eating testicles, besides blacks, feminists women and Democrats? This is the original Teabagger barn burning fun fest for the whole family. There’s roping contests, a beauty pageant, gospel music, a ball eating contest and lots of good hearted fun.

Sponsored by a whole bunch of churches and stuff, second amendment rights will not be denied. So many people have posted testi-moanials about the festival that we can only print a few here.

“Lawz, mercy that was fun.” – Gladys Goosewine

“I ate so many testicles, pretty girls in cowboy boots had to rub my belly!” – Brandon Hicks

“I saw Jesus come out of a porta pottie.” – Samuel Pecker

For anyone that wants to “Have a Ball with Jesus” you need to hitch ’em up and drive to Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch. All proceeds benefit the Junior Livestock Show.

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