I've never been completely open about my history with being a rape victim, due to my fears of being blamed or shamed, as I have been in the past. I'm so tired of people blaming victims though and I just need to get this out there. This is not something I'm sharing for pity, it's something I'm sharing to try and change the way rape victims are treated and to expose how it really feels to those who have become willfully ignorant on rape culture. Please share if you want, it would hopefully educate more people.

To the people who say that rape or sexual assault can be prevented by clothing choices, drinking choices, location choices, etc:

YOU are part of the problem. YOU are pushing the mentality that rape or sexual assault is okay if the victim was wearing certain clothing, drinking, or whatever excuse you have today.

You say that victims could have prevented being raped by wearing less provocative clothing:

I was wearing onesie pajamas the first time I was raped. Going to tell me that I should have covered up more when I was two years old? Was I too 'slutty' as a toddler?

You say that victims should be taking self defense classes in order to prevent being raped:

My last rapist was over a foot taller than me and weighed at least a hundred more pounds, most of which were muscle. There are no amount of self defense actions that could have stopped him, regardless of whether I took classes.

You say rape victims are 'asking for it' when they drink, either excessively or in a public setting:

The next two times I was raped, I was sober, as well as both of my rapists. I knew exactly what was happening and remember every last detail down to the long walk I had the next morning, as I went to get a Plan B pill. I'm positive they remember as well. Drinking had nothing to do with me getting raped. Being physically raped was what had to do with me getting raped.

You say that rape victims put themselves in harms way purposefully when they walk home alone at night:

All three of my rapists were people I knew. They were not strangers.

You rant about how you 'know' that victims could prevent rape and how you're certain that if they just would do things differently, they wouldn't be a rape victim:

Unless you have personally, and by that I mean YOU personally, been a victim of rape or sexual assault, it is impossible for you have an educated opinion on the topic. Sit down, shut up, and stop thinking you know everything about something you've never experienced. Quite frankly, you will never win that argument; your statements are willfully ignorant, completely false, and have no ground to stand on.

Come back after you've had all your dignity stripped, your body violated in ways you can't even imagine, your mind tortured and giving you constant flashbacks, and have been shamed by society because of your clothing choices or anything you've ever done in your past. Come back after that and tell me it was my fault again.