I was cruising around space, minding everybody’s business, looking for a victim the other day when I discovered Dragon’s Rage, a large highsec corp that was openly recruiting. I grabbed one of my trusty safari characters, got him a catalyst, and started getting to work. This character, of course, was dirty as hell and hadn’t spent more than 48 hours in a corp without killing something. In his first day of existence he’d killed an Orca and a Domi, and not only that, but I’ve blogged about it, so a quick google search should turn up that this dude was meant to murder you.

Lucky for me, there’s no shortage of inattention in eve online.

So I joined up and asked what was going on, only to discover that there would be a mining op shortly, complete with Orca. As you may well have gathered by now, Orcas are one of my favourite foods. So I sat one system over, on a planet, until the op started. They asked the usual questions new characters get asked. What do you intend to do, what can you fly, that sort of thing. When I mentioned how poor I was and that I could only afford a destroyer, one of them gave me 100m. So no matter how this turned out, I was already ahead!

So the op starts and I get in their comms and start attacking the Orca. The Orca pilot is at first confused (‘is something shooting me?’) and then that quickly turns to alarm (‘guys, this new guy is shooting me!’) and things start to get chaotic in their comms. I start asking if they want to pay a ransom to save the Orca, but they seem to be much more interested in running at full tilt in very large circles with their heads set ablaze.

One of them pauses momentarily to ask me if I’d like to get murdered in real life. I politely decline and am kicked from the server for my trouble.

Several people show up in various frigs, including a Hawk, a Navy Hookbill and a Merlin to kill me, but my reps are sufficient to the task. Not understanding who he’s legally able to shoot at or why, one of the frigs (I want to say the Hawk, but I can’t remember for sure) decides he’ll kill the logi, succeeding in bringing me down to 85% shields and giving me a killright, which I’m sure will generate excellent content for the both of us at some point in the near future.

At this point, they’re less interested in talking, so I do it for them.

[22:02:03] Salty Goat > So does that mean you want to lose the Orca?

[22:02:34] Salty Goat > OH GOD HOBGOBLINS!

[22:03:05] Salty Goat > But on a more serious note, if you guys want to keep the boat.

[22:03:53] Salty Goat > As you can see, you’re not having much luck. This is just going to be a matter of time.

[22:03:56] Salty Goat > LOL!

[22:04:06] Salty Goat > That was foolish.

[22:04:56] Salty Goat > So what’s your next plan?

[22:05:24] Zachev Trace > <url=showinfo:5//30000180>Osmon</url>

[22:05:38] Salty Goat > Psychotic Monk for CSM.

[22:06:08] Salty Goat > Almost out of shields…

[22:07:51] Salty Goat > Well, now it’s all over but the crying unless you pay.

The land a few more ships to try and help, including an Arazu, but damps do nothing since I’m already sitting directly on top of the Orca and as the Orca is entering 10% structure a legion even shows up to help. The Orca explodes in a cowardly fashion and the pod gets away. I try to turn my attention to the various other ships on the field, but they’re all either too far away or able to dictate range, so I’m left alone, King of Planet 5 Belt 12.

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=19185726#mail

You can check out the full contents of the corp chat behind this link: http://pastebin.com/9aRXbMgN

They’ve shut down the public relations office, and so won’t talk to me lest they catch evil and are therefore forced to murder and consume their entire families.

Local, however, has some things to say about this.

[22:11:36] Walter Heisenburg > WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PEOPLE IN OSMON

[22:11:51] MadeinUSA Sotken > theres a gank attempt in ice belt

[22:11:58] Walter Heisenburg > oo i wanna watch

[22:12:00] Walter Heisenburg > which one

[22:12:06] MadeinUSA Sotken > <url=showinfo:17774//40338108>Osmon VII – Ice Field 1</url>

[22:12:22] MadeinUSA Sotken > cat trying to take orca

[22:13:29] MadeinUSA Sotken > looks like another griefing victim

[22:13:54] MadeinUSA Sotken > looks like he messed with wrong corp though lol

[22:15:01] Kroolish > nope he got us, our faults for not having combat ships fitted

[22:15:24] Salty Goat > <url=killReport:29327371:14938213fac918fdd8cf579b5d3f28f3273c9111>Kill: Sitar (Orca)</url>

[22:15:28] Kroolish > <url=showinfo:1377//93051907>Salty Goat</url> Awoxer, just a heads up all 🙂

[22:16:01] Korozaa Akuma > how does a cat kill an orca before concord shows up? did you agress?

[22:16:11] Black Tangent > same corp

[22:16:27] Korozaa Akuma > eh… then who cares

[22:17:03] Salty Goat > I think the Orca pilot cares.

[22:17:10] MadeinUSA Sotken > griefed

[22:17:22] jorey606 > the question is: how can you possibly not have anyone be able to kill a single catalyst in a 123 member corp in the meantime?

[22:17:36] jorey606 > +grammar

[22:17:54] Finarvas > could have just killed it with loads of drones from your mining barges :S

[22:17:56] Cokeflake > if the orca pilot pilots his orca to a belt, it’s evident he doesn’t care.

[22:18:18] Amber Oriki > ^truth

[22:18:27] Amber Oriki > only an idiot would bring his orca to a belt

[22:18:35] Amber Oriki > at least until off grid boosting gets nerfed

[22:19:17] Finarvas > you do know they have large cargo holds and get tractor beam bonuses right?

[22:19:28] Walter Heisenburg > totally worth losing one

[22:19:31] Finarvas > it’s not just about the boosts

[22:19:42] Amber Oriki > if you are using an orca for more than boosts you are doingi t wrong.

[22:19:47] Finarvas > then again why anyone would mine in this system beats me 😀

[22:19:56] Cokeflake > yeah, better lose an orca than do half-dosen runs in a bustard

[22:20:01] Walter Heisenburg > why are there still 255 people in here

[22:20:09] Amber Oriki > SoE missions most likely

[22:20:25] MadeinUSA Sotken > whats so special about soe missions?

[22:20:33] Walter Heisenburg > they suck

[22:20:35] Walter Heisenburg > don’t do them

[22:20:35] Amber Oriki > this is the only system in high sec that offers level 4 SoE combat missions

[22:20:40] jorey606 > <url=showinfo:1373//956735860>Cokeflake</url> out of corp fleet freighter *scnr

[22:21:03] Cokeflake > yeah, doing soe mission in a freghet, please come to the party

[22:21:54] Prometey Fire > Возьмите кто вексора на хвость на 4 миски сестер) режу фрегатов и крузаков))

[22:22:39] jorey606 > <url=showinfo:1373//93051907>Salty Goat</url> how long did it take you to kill that orca?

[22:23:23] Walter Heisenburg > I can’t imagine he’ll be in that corp for much longer

[22:23:40] Korozaa Akuma > I’d guess at least 5 minutes

[22:23:45] Walter Heisenburg > oh a throwaway char

[22:23:54] Walter Heisenburg > I’d report him for char exploiting just to see if it sticks

[22:24:32] MadeinUSA Sotken > my friend was recently a victim of corp griefing he lost an orca and a mac

[22:24:57] MadeinUSA Sotken > hes in process of getting revenge

[22:25:09] Walter Heisenburg > this guy obviously made a new char with full intent of doing that

[22:25:12] Walter Heisenburg > he’s probably done it before

[22:25:17] Walter Heisenburg > deletes his chars

[22:25:28] Salty Goat > I have done it before. I safari extensivly.

[22:25:33] Salty Goat > Psychotic Monk for CSM.

[22:25:49] Salty Goat > Walter, why would you petition it? What I did was well within the rules.

[22:25:54] Walter Heisenburg > actually

[22:26:03] Walter Heisenburg > making new chars for the purpose of griefing and deleting them is against EULA

[22:26:11] Arden Elenduil > who says he’s deleting them

[22:26:16] Walter Heisenburg > he just said he did

[22:26:19] Walter Heisenburg > read up

[22:26:24] Salty Goat > No, I said I do safaris.

[22:26:31] Salty Goat > Which means I kill corpmates.

[22:26:32] Walter Heisenburg > sure

[22:26:45] Walter Heisenburg > I dont give a shit it’s not my orca

[22:26:53] Walter Heisenburg > but the orca victim now has probable cause to petition you

[22:26:55] Arden Elenduil > then why are you making a big deal over it?

[22:27:04] Walter Heisenburg > boredom

[22:29:42] Mai Hakaari > corp mates are free to shoot each other in high sec without provoking concord aggression. completely within the rules to join a corp and backstab them

[22:30:13] Walter Heisenburg > <url=showinfo:1373//92508002>Mai Hakaari</url> do you read shit but selectively ignore words or are you a complete dumbass?

[22:30:36] Mai Hakaari > im not the one citing irrelevant rules 😉

[22:31:14] Mai Hakaari > and my chat window is pretty small so i may have missed something while scrolling back :[

[22:37:17] Salty Goat > Wow, now this corp is afraid to come fight a catalyst. There’s five of them in system…

I hit a safespot and go stack some blocks for a bit when Arden pokes me and tells me there’s a gang forming the next system over to face the incredible menace that is equivalent of a sketchy British kid with a box cutter and they intended to do it with a Nightmare, a Macharial, and a Daredevil, at least.

I’m aware I’m likely to die here, but all I’m on the hook to lose is a Catalyst, and they’re giving me the opportunity to kill some very expensive boats. Positively beaming, I skip merrily back to belt and await my punishment.

They don’t disappoint and soon a Hawk and a Hookbill land on me, an the Arazu decloaks. I point the Hawk, determined to kill the softest targets first and have him well into armor before the Nightmare, Loki, Legion, Daredevil and Macharial even land. I finish him off and my reps are still holding. http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=19185728#mail

I lay some damage on the Daredevil, hoping to drive him out of range and get those 90% webs off me, knowing that much of my tank is the fact that I’m somewhat difficult to hit. It doesn’t work and the damage overcomes my reps and I explode into thousands of pieces.

http://eve.battleclinic.com/killboard/killmail.php?id=19185731#mail

I throw the pod back into the safe and go eat some lunch and play some minecraft. When I tab back I notice I’ve been found and they’re demanding 100m isk to not kill me. My pod is empty and I have less than 900k sp, so I tell them to go ahead and they oblige me.