Joining Travolta's Scientology humanitarian effort to capture as many mind prisoners as possible, a Christian group is sending an army of Proclaimers to Haiti. Proclaimers are solar-powered audio bibles, which could assemble into a giant robot to destroy the scientologists.


Maybe. I just like the idea of a giant Bible robot fighting Travolta and his cohorts until they obliterate each other.


But I digress: According to Australian news outlet ABC News, the Faith Comes By Hearing organization has sent 600 of these Bibles already, which will spread the Holy Word speaking in Haitian Creole. They claim that they are helping Haitians by "providing faith, hope and love through God's word in audio". The first part is good, especially if you accompany that with food, water, medicines, and shelter. The second part, however, may not be that useful at this point.

They claim that "the Proclaimer is self-powered and can play the Bible in the jungle, desert or... even on the moon!" I'm sure that it would be more helpful in the moon than it could be in Haiti. Because I imagine that, in Haiti, a solar-powered Bible would be as helpful as the Genesis according to Eddie Izzard.

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[ABC News]