You know you’ve been in Finland too long, when…

1. You rummage through your plastic bag collection to see which ones you should keep to take to the store and which can be sacrificed to garbage.



2. When a stranger on the street smiles at you:

a. you assume he is drunk

b. he is insane

c. he’s an American



3. You don’t think twice about putting the wet dishes away in the cupboard to dry.



4. A friend asks about your holiday plans and you answer: “Oh, I’m going to Europe!” meaning any other Western European country outside Scandinavia.



5. You see a student taking a front row seat and wonder “Who does he think he is!!??”



6. Silence is fun.



7. The reason you take the ferry to Stockholm or Tallinn is:

a. duty free vodka

b. duty free beer

c. to party heartily…no need to get off the boat in Stockholm or Tallinn, just turn around and do it again on the way back to Finland.



8. Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day and coffee is too weak if there is less than two spoonfuls per person.



9. You pass a grocery store and think: “Wow, it is open, I had better go in and buy something!”



10. Your native language has seriously deteriorated, now you begin to “eat medicine”, “open the television”, “close the lights off”, and tell someone: “you needn’t to!”. Expressions like “Don’t panic” creep into your everyday language.



11. You associate pea soup and awesome pancakes with Thursday.



12. Your idea of unforgivable behaviour now includes walking across the street when the light is red and there is no walk symbol, even though there are no cars in sight.



13. Your notion of street life is reduced to the few teenagers hanging out in front of the railway station on Friday nights.



14. Sundays no longer seem dull with all the stores closed, and begin to feel restful instead.



15. You finally stop asking your class “Are there any questions?”



16. Your old habit of being “Fashionably late” is no longer acceptable. You are always on time.



17. Hugging is reserved for sexual foreplay.



18. You refuse to wear a hat, even in -30°C weather.



19. You hear loud-talking passengers on the train. You immediately assume:

a. they are drunk

b. they are Swedish-speaking

c. they are Americans

d. all of the above.



20. You no longer look at sports pants as casual wear, but recognize them as almost formal wear.



21. You have undergone a transformation:

a. you accept mustamakkara (Black blood sausage) as food

b. you accept alcohol as food

c. you accept.



22. You understand why the Finnish language has no future tense.



23. You no longer have to search for the flushing mechanism.



24. You no longer see any problem wearing white socks with loafers.



25. You just love Jaffa and the Jaffa cookies…don’t forger the cookies.



26. You’ve come to expect Sunday morning sidewalk vomit dodging.



27. You know that “religious holiday” means “let’s get pissed.”



28. You enjoy salmiakki.



29. You know that “Gents” is another term for sidewalk.



30. You know that more than four channels means cable.



31. When you’re hungry you can peel a boiled potato like lightning.



32. You’ve become lactose intolerant.



33. You accept that 80°C in a sauna is chilly, but 20°C outside is freaking hot.



34. You know how to fix herring in 105 different ways.



35. You eat herring in 105 ways.



36. “No comment” becomes a conversation strategy.



37. You can make spaghetti with meat and ketchup.



38. You understand why Finns loves to lay back and enjoy the sun during sunny summer days!



39. You know that ‘men’s public toilet’ is another phrase for pavement.



40. When a phone rings, you instinctively reach for it.



41. It’s acceptable to eat lunch at 11.00



42. Your front door step begging to resemble a shoe shop.



43. You think it’s normal that 22 year olds need fake ID.



44. Even you don’t understand your own jokes.



45. You always KNOW what temperature it is.



46. The next day when they say “We broke up.” you know it means “ He didn’t call.”



47. You know that “Can I get you a drink?” means “Give me your money and tell me what you want.”



48. You understand the importance of double vowels/consonants.



49. You can actually pick out mistakes in the subtitles.



50. You stand in a bus if you can’t find a vacant pair of seats.



51. You prefer to run like a maniac to catch the bus/tram than wait in the cold.



52. You know that if a finnih guy is talking to you in a bar…he is flirting!



53. You listen to Ricky Martin’s song “The Cup of Life” (…Go, go, go, Ale Ale Ale ♫) and you think: MUST GO SHOPPING!



54. You understand the need of taking D vitamin in winter.



55. You DRINK for any reason… It’s cold outside, let’s go for some glögi or hot chocolate with minttu…It’s sunny outside…let’s go to a terrace. I’m sad, let’s drink. I’m happy, let’s celebrate!!



56. You start to say “we” when talking about Finland e.g. In Finland “We” have lots of lakes. In Finland “we” like to drink, etc.



57. You think is weird that a person kisses you on the cheek when you just met. You just need your personal space…



58. You enjoy winter and snow but you hate räntä.



59. You understand what the “Smells like winter” actually means…



60. Your bad mood becomes your good mood.



61. You refuse to wear a hat, even in -30 degree weather.



62. You get all the Swedish jokes.



63. You pass the point of spending more than 50% of your salary on phone calls and alcohol.



64. The only couple talking in a tram or a bus always seems to annoy you.



65. You are immediately suspicious when somebody starts talking to you in the street.



66. You no longer have a problem accepting money from someone bumming a cigarette.



67. You seriously consider visiting the sauna more than three times a week.



(Submission from a-littleday and yeps, you both sent me this but they did differ a little from each other so I decided to combine them. I might have missed something though)