Jon Stewart joined Stephen Colbert on Monday to help “The Late Show” host offer Donald Trump “equal time” on his show.

Trump on Saturday insisted, via Twitter, that Republicans “should be given Equal Time on T.V.” Considering “The Late Show’s” propensity to make fun of the president, Colbert decided it would be fair to bring some “balance” to the program.

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Colbert implored Stewart to “say something positive” about Trump.

“Donald Trump… is not… a cannibal,” Stewart barely managed.

“Given the choice between having hot lava poured into my pee hole and Donald Trump being president, I choose… the latter,” Stewart later eked out.

But it was Colbert’s mention of Trump’s “calm before the storm” comment last week that really crushed Stewart’s less-than-effusive praise of the president.

“What the f*ck is wrong with this guy?” Stewart demanded. “Oh, will Trump give humanity the rose?”

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“How is all this not the storm?” he continued. “What kind of sociopath would use that terminology while people are still literally cleaning up from storms?”

Watch below: