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"You see ... Sandy Koufax struck out Batmen, and ... shit."

One time I asked a 9-year-old girl what kind of party she wanted, and her response was, I shit you not, "Bourne Identity!" It turned out that she and her dad would always watch a movie together on Saturdays, and one of his favorites (The Bourne Identity) became one of hers as well. So I started planning a spy-themed party. But her mom intervened, telling me to make it a Disney princess party instead. I asked if her daughter even liked Disney princesses, and the mom replied, "I liked princesses at her age, and she watches Disney movies. She'll like it."

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I took over a Bar Mitzvah from a mom who was just too busy to plan it anymore. The boy was going to turn 13 in a few months, and she just needed me to finish it off. That was fine, until I noticed the theme: Home On The Range. When I questioned the mom, she told me that when her son was 8 years old he was super into that movie, and when she initially asked him nearly five years prior he had chosen it as the theme. When I said that maybe she should ask her son again, since there was still time to change it, she yelled, "I've been planning this for years! Of course he still wants it."

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Pictured: the same faces of him and his friends.

Sure enough, on the day of the Bar Mitzvah her poor son was mortified by all of the prancing cowboys making Western puns. His mother had literally not asked him what he wanted since he was in the third grade. If there's a moral here for rich parents, let it be this: Check in with your kids at least once a year. Just swing on by the guest house you're having them stay in and ask the nanny if they have any interests.