VATICAN CITY – After months of mounting tensions over the proposed Vatican Access pipeline, police have begun openly attacking the Catholic protesters, using vicious dogs, rubber bullets, and hoses to force the encampments to leave the The Holy See.

“This is horrifying,” said Pope Francis, the leader of the protest. “What sort of government would allow a corporation to destroy a place so holy to its own citizens? And for what? Slightly better access to a non-renewable resource?”

Italy Access, the company behind the proposed project, say that the pipeline must be built, regardless of minorities who claim their cultural history is being destroyed. Additionally, IA says these worries are unfounded. The pipeline will leave most of the Vatican intact, with damage limited to tearing a hole through St. Peter’s basilica, polluting the river Tiber, and unearthing the bodies of several dozen saints.

“I understand how important the so-called ‘Va-ti-can’ is to Catholics,” said Karen Wesley, CEO of Vatican Access. “Believe me, I did a Lutheran sweatlodge once, so I’m very in tune with these people and their culture. This pipeline won’t be a problem.”

“On a separate note, we’d like to apologize for the fracking accident at our Dome of the Rock reservoir.”

The Italian government says there is very little they can do about the pipeline despite their long-standing treaties with Vatican City and the Catholic faith.

“It’s awful what’s happening to these Catholics but it’s time for them to go home and stop fighting,” said Italian PM Paolo Gentiloni. “They need to understand that sometimes money is more important than the right to religious freedom, the right to assemble, and human rights in general.”

At press time, a few Italian newspapers had published a short piece about the story in their back pages.