It wasn’t how I figured I’d spend my Tuesday morning but I was determined. And, because I work from home, there was plenty of privacy for a peegasm first-timer like myself.

After consuming 32-ounces of water in around 10 minutes on the first day, it was another 20 minutes until the first hint of having to pee hit me. My jeans started to hurt around that time. The waistband gripped tightly below my navel, putting a steady pressure on my full bladder.

When the urge to run to the bathroom was too much of a distraction to continue my daily tasks, I would stand up from my desk and pace around the house. An hour and a half passed until I went to the toilet.

During the last 15 minutes that I held it in, my bladder yearned for relief. However, when the muscles contracted and I finally allowed myself to urinate, I felt nothing.

My body, though grateful for the release, did not reciprocate with a peegasm for me. With health in mind, I finished peeing and drank a glass of cranberry juice. Tomorrow was a new day and a new chance for nirvana.

I did better the next day. For three hours, I held the full contents of my bladder, another 32-ounces of water. This time properly dressed in stretchy sweatpants, the last 10 minutes were spent pacing around my living room and kitchen, pausing to hop up and down before looking at my iPhone’s timer once again. I contemplated what it would feel like to pee on myself in my own house.

It was hard not to laugh at the twisted irony of how, as children, most of us tried our best not be the kid who peed their pants. Now, as an adult, I was refusing to go to the bathroom, risking complete loss of control of my bladder all to see if I’d experience a seemingly trendy way to orgasm.

As those three three hours neared an end, I noticed an increasing pressure around my pubic bone and vagina. The sensation might have been enough to put me in the mood, but the nagging pressure of my full bladder stepped in like a relentless cockblock. When my three-hour timer concluded, I was ready to relieve the cramping and braced myself for climax.

Nothing happened except for a shiver up my body. The Peegasm Fairy refused me yet another visit. Then again, a shiver was better than nothing. I was glad I experienced a slight arousal when I was holding the pee in, but that frisky feeling and vaginal pressure ceased when I let myself finally go to the bathroom.

Still, it was encouraging.

Other Redditors claimed not to have experienced orgasms but described feeling “piss shivers” — tingly sensations up the spine, not the crotch — that sounded similar to what I’d just felt.

Encouraged, I hoped that I’d get closer to having a full-blown peegasm on my next attempt. Third time’s a charm, right?

In the meantime, I decided to do some digging into why the feeling of a full bladder got me slightly aroused.

Gynecologists and sexual health experts alike both say that it’s possible for this to happen. Because the urethra, clitoris, and vagina are all close together in the body, when a bladder is full, it can put pressure on those organs. For some women, the pressure can reach the clitoris or its sensitive branches that cause arousal, which was what had started to happen with me.

So while there was a chance that I’d never experience a peegasm, at least part of what I was experiencing was normal and supposed to happen. That was a relief.

Peegasm attempt #3

By the next day, I was almost out of cranberry juice and I took this as a sign that this would be my final attempt at achieving a peegasm. From 1:00 p.m. to 5:15 p.m., I didn’t pee.

The constant urge to go put my body in a state of heavy discomfort. I could barely do my work. Instead, I watched a few episodes of The Office, listened to some of my favorite podcasts, and paced back and forth. A lot.

The vaginal pressure and muscle cramping came back after the first few hours, eventually leading to the same friskiness it made me feel the day before. This made me feel confident that maybe this was the time I’d reach a peegasm.

I tried to focus more on the pleasurable sensations which helped the time go by faster than expected.

I considered using my vibrator to enhance my arousal, but was ultimately too concerned that I’d lose control and piss myself.

When I finally relieved myself after four and a half hours, the familiar piss shivers ran up and down my spine with the same bit of gusto they had in the second experiment. But sadly, there was no peegasm that followed — just a super long, unbreakable stream of urine that seemed to last forever.

Was it worth the hurt?

I was bummed that I never achieved a full-on peegasm, but that didn’t mean my quest was fruitless. I got to experience a few interesting body chills and my skin felt really hydrated for a few days after drinking all of that water. Listening so intently to the sensations in my body felt almost spiritual, and I hadn’t paid so much attention to my bodily functions and wellbeing since that time I got food poisoning two years ago and had to be hospitalized.

I also learned that I am not very nice to my boyfriend, or any other human, when I’m about to pee my pants — which, for the record, didn’t happen. Nor, I’m happy to report, did I develop a UTI or any other infection.

Holding in your pee for a long time is not fun. It’s hard and it’s painful and it’s distracting. But I’m glad I did it. Peegasms are still but a myth to me, but at least I now have something to look forward to the next time I find myself with a seriously full bladder.