(2 am)

Brienne, whispering: Jaime, I think my water just broke.

Jaime, half asleep: Uhhhh…that’s nice.

Brienne:…

Jaime, bolting out of bed: WHAT THE FUCK

YOUR WATER JUST BROKE

Brienne: *nods*

Jaime: KIDS!! KIDS!!! CODE RED CODE RED!! SER MOM IS IN LABOR! THE LION CUB IS ON THE WAY!! I REPEAT, THE LION CUB IS ON THE WAY!! MAN THE BATTLE STATIONS!

Brienne:…what the hells are you talking about?

Jaime: Me and the kids have a plan! You just sit on the bed and we’ll get everything ready to go to the hospital, ok?

Brienne: Ok…

Jaime: *runs out of the room*

Arya: *running by the door with a bassinet*

Sansa: *running by the door with a diaper bag*

Gendry: *running by the door with a carseat*

Pod: *running by the door pushing Bran*

Jaime: *running by the door with a duffel bag*

(Front door slams)

Jaime, halfway to the hospital: *answers the phone* Hello?

Brienne: You forgot someone.

Jaime: No, I have all the kids in the car! I counted!

Brienne: YOU FORGOT ME, ASSHOLE!