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But according to many women, emotional labour extends far beyond domestic settings into public spaces and workplaces, where it reinforces gender inequality. In male-dominated industries especially, they say, women are under pressure to perform an awkward balancing act, one that requires them to maintain a desirable degree of femininity while simultaneously showing they are strong and independent enough to be “one of the guys” and a competent employee.

Defying gender expectations can lead to conflict or marginalization, women say.

Photo by Patrick Tehan/East Bay Times via AP

Need an example? Hillary Clinton deciding that — to offset the perception that she was cold and uncompromising — she would pour coffee for male colleagues as a junior senator, as the Atlantic reported in 2006.

“In workplaces you are checking yourself constantly to make sure you are making others feel comfortable with your presence,” said Gabriela Del Valle, a staff writer at the Outline who penned an article about the widespread toll of emotional labor on women. “As a woman, from a young age, you are constantly aware that you are being watched and aware of how your actions and body are being perceived by others.”

Managing yourself as a means of managing other people’s emotions, Del Valle said, is a form of emotional labor that also isn’t limited to gender and often dictates the experience of people of colour and other minorities.

The ability to flip that dynamic on its head, even for a few hours, is not only enjoyable but liberating, and explains why the feeling of relinquishing emotional labor is a driving force behind ManServants’ success, Khajah said.

Once hired, the men — many of whom work in the service industry — undergo training to turn them into respectful “party hosts” by building up their emotional intelligence and teaching them to anticipate their client’s needs.

Women, in turn, are encouraged not only to outsource those needs but demand them from men, allowing them to be themselves.

The notion that hiring a man for $125 per hour might lessen the burden of emotional labour strikes some women as misguided, even absurd.