I am a 25 year old. These 25 years have brought the experience of life to a strange tipping point. A point where you can experience the speeding up of your remaining time on earth. You are no longer that carefree teen trying to make sense of the world. Trying to fit in the reality that was subconsciously designed by yourselves. Trying to live by the passions and beliefs you held so dear, not realizing the transformations they shall attain. My journey through these years has made peace with the predictably unpredictable experiences that await in future. It’s with love that I shall experience my future life. It’s with humility I shall accept the experiences. It’s with compassion I shall grow old.

On a macro level there is a some predictability of how life might just play out for us. We have seen living souls around us. Those who are old now, were of our age sometime back. We can put ourselves in their shoes and replay their lives. They might have lived a life that might have been quite different externally. Different music, different food, living conditions, languages, likes dislike. But they all experienced their surroundings with the same senses just like we are doing now. Of course the stimuli was different but quite possibly, the emotions,the feelings to the myriad stimuli were the same-being happy,bored, loved,angry, depressed. After all they were the same species, having the similar genetic structure, following the same laws of physics. Just being around with lives can eerily give us an intuition of what living as human is all about..dosen’t it? We might not be able to express but we know the basic workings. It’s full of colors and strange things.Black and white.White within Black. Black within white.

Such a sophisticated prediction machinery we have-our neocortex. It’s just trying to help. Knowing the eventuality of life might be quite sapping for some. Mechanisms by the ego develop to create the zeal to live back. The mechanism break often, get re-formulated and tuned as we age. Some mechanisms trick us into forgetting the eventuality for as long as possible. That’s what the we did when we were children-be in the now . Some involve directing our mental energies to a random color of life/a passion to pursue. Some come to us naturally like living with a perpetual curiosity for everything. And yes dont forget our dependence on religion, beliefs and faith. We all have the mechanisms in some form and they really help us to just keep going till the end.

So what to do while we are alive? Look out for best experiences in life?With the mechanisms to suppress the eventuality in place, now we want to extract the best of the best experiences in this one life. This might be a result of justifying the eventuality. But it’s not the best experiences we are after. What we feel about a circumstance would matter more than the circumstance itself. For eg. I go out for a movie with my friends. The experience of the same movie was able to generate a different emotional experience for everyone. Same movie different feelings. If one can understand how little of the world one might experience in one lifetime we may not want to add ‘stuff’ in ‘things to do before I die’ bucket list. It’s the feelings and emotions that we can experience as humans we want to expand.

The gurus have said it. The wise know it. Our intuition guides to it. I feel as life rolls on for me, there is one emotion that keeps magnifying the feel of any experience. Maybe it’s my mechanism to deal with eventuality of life. But oh it’s always magical.The richness it brings along makes the experience of life beautiful every time. Its the emotion of love. Why it’s so much of an enigma?Why is it indescribable? What’s the fascination? It’s one emotion that’s not ‘a’ feeling. It takes up so many forms that tend to bring you completeness in the most unexpected ways. The external experiences is quite unpredictable but the experiencing them with a lens of love is a conscious choice we can make. And it makes the experience itself no longer moot. Indeed love seems to be the way.

However, to put on the lens of love to our daily experience doesn’t come easy .We may feed any emotion we our capable of to take a stronger form and a lot of times it’s not our conscious choice. For eg. loosing a soul close to us might bring up dreary emotions leading to depression. Or it may be as simple as feeling bored leading to loathing. Or feeling cheated/jealous or even excited . If it was easy to have a conscious life we lived we’d always choose our emotions to rise from the feeling of love. But I see all around it’s so easy to feel offended, pass judgments, have stingy opinions and beliefs of what’s right what’s wrong, feel bored, lack compassion, be self-righteous, unforgiving to others actions, politely be selfish and have emotions driven by wants. I practice to live a conscious emotional life that feels love irrespective of the circumstance. Practice helps, logic doesn’t when dealing with neuro-plasticity ;). Hopefully it keeps building up for me 🙂