Did you enjoy that? Was that fun? Are you happy now?

If you enjoyed that Men’s NCAA Championship game you either made money off of it, or don’t like watching good basketball. So, to all the college basketball advocates out there – are you satisfied? You wanted the student sections, chants, fight songs, big-heads, posters, upsets and Cinderella’s… welp, you got it. That 8 vs 3 matchup was exactly what any normal, educated basketball fan would have expected – a below average contest, at best. The only thing that can be said for this year’s tournament is it showed us that College Basketball definitely needs work. Upsets are fun, of course, but sparingly. When the whole god damn tournament is full of them you end up with what we had this year and last night – meaningful games resembling grade-school girl’s high school practices.

“Sorry, but I like when people actually play defense.” Shooting a combined 27% from the field isn’t good defense, it’s terrible basketball (predicted, should-have-been-expected terrible basketball…). I know a few people, including myself, who have been shitting on this thing since it started – and it feels good to know that we were right. I’ll take the NBA Every. Time. There’s less defense in the NBA because it’s tougher to defend guys who don’t completely blow. Try full court pressing Kobe or Rose, they’ll eat your lunch then fuck your girlfriend. I would LOVE to see somebody play that VCU style of defense in the NBA. There are too many good athletes at that level and somebody will always pop open and actually make that jump shot. You can leave guys alone in order to double others in college because that guy standing by himself at the 3-point line is going to be flipping burgers after he graduates, not playing basketball.

You can’t have good defense and good offense at the same time in ANY sport, really – so you have to ask yourself what you like better. If you honestly like defensive, 27% shooting games – then awesome, enjoy that. I’m just saying – I heard and saw a LOT of complaining last night, and I’ve never heard anybody complain about Blake Griffin posting up and dunking on people too many times, or bitch about how Derrick Rose breaks a defenders ankles then drives to the hole between 3 of them to make the seemingly impossible lay up. Nobody complained when Kobe went off for 81 points and nobody has ever said, “That was entirely too much scoring and excitement. Can they slow it down for CHRIST’S SAKE!!?” The college/defense VS NBA/offense argument will go on forever and it might be pointless to drag it out, but I’d be lying if I didn’t think the former was idiotic. But, to each their own.

There’s no excuse for that piece of shit we were subjected to last night except, of course, that it’s what you all wanted. So… congratulations.