DEAR DEIDRE: I CAN’T stop cheating because I crave attention from men.

I even cheated with the barman in our local on an evening out with my husband recently.

3 I'm terrified about losing my husband but I crave attention from other men Credit: Alamy

I love my husband to bits. We have been together for ten years. He is 26 and I am 25.

He is a great husband and a brilliant father to our sons, who are five and four.

We have an amazing sex life. It has always been varied. I love him so much and I’ll do anything he fancies — things I wouldn’t do with any other man.

I am terrified of losing him but when another man gives me attention, all my good intentions disappear.

3 I have a perfect life with my husband so I don't understand why I do what I do Credit: Getty - Contributor

This has happened quite a few times over the years but I have never had feelings for any man except my husband.

Last month, the manager of our local pub was leaving. He had a do for all his regulars and we were there with all our mates.

His son, who is 23, has worked behind the bar some evenings. He is single and has always flirted with me but on this occasion it felt different.

They had prepared a buffet and everyone had a lot to drink.

3 My cheating has made me feel rock bottom and I don't what I can do to solve it Credit: Alamy

As the manager’s son was clearing tables, he asked me to carry some of the dishes out to the kitchen for him.

As soon as I got through the door, he came up behind me and put his arms round my waist.

He whispered in my ear that this was our last chance as he would be gone the next day.

We ended up having sex in a storeroom at the back. I felt bad afterwards but my husband was talking with his mates and I don’t think he even noticed that I hadn’t been there.

I hate myself for being like this. It is like I am addicted to the attention but I am tired of it.

I have hit rock bottom and I don’t want to do this any more.

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DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds like you get your self-esteem through being desired by men – mainly your husband, for whom you will do anything sexually. But the need is so great, you can’t turn down other men who show interest in you.

You know you are risking losing the husband you love so much.

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Having sex in the pub while your husband is there drinking is courting disaster. Perhaps that gives you some sort of buzz.

Identify situations in which you are more likely to cheat and take firm steps to avoid them – staying sober may help, for example.

My e-leaflet Can’t Be Faithful will help you understand yourself and make better choices so you can stick to your good intentions.

I would suggest counselling too because unhappy, often abusive, early experiences can be the background for behaviour like this.

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