Friday

Luke “Feral” Farrell was a bit wild in this one. He allowed 6 earned runs over 3 innings on 3 htis, 4 walks, and 3 strikeouts. The bullpen wasn’t very good. Iribarren pitched an inning where he wasn’t charged with any earned runs but 2 still scored. Darnell Sweeney “Todd” was 2 for 5 with a 2-run dinger, Chad “Walla Walla” Wallach was 4 for 4 with 2 doubles, and Alex “The Great” Blandino was 1 for 3 with a walk.

Austin “Texas” Ross only gave up 1 earned run over 4 innings on 3 hits, 1 walk, and 3 strikeouts. Andrew “Whiskey Dick” McKirahan pitched a scoreless inning, and Domingo “Ate Your Baby” Tapia pitched 3 scoreless with 2 strikeouts. Arismendy “Gumby” Alcantara was 1 or 2 with a double, a RBI, and 3 walks. Nick Senzel also walked twice. Gabby Guerrero was 2 for 4 with a triple and a RBI, and Jonathon “Heynoso” Reynoso was 2 for 5 with a double and a RBI.

Ty “Poppin” Boyles gave up 2 earned runs over 6 innings on 7 hits, 3 walks, and 3 strikeouts. Austin “Animal Farm” Orewiler struck out 3 over 2 scoreless innings. Alfredo “Pasta Rod” Rodriguez was 3 for 4.

Andrew “Jackson” Jordan gave up 6 earned runs over 4 innings. He allowed 7 hits, 2 walks, an struck out 5. Randy “Ace” Ventura doubled and walked. This game was bad.

Packy “Sack” Naughton pitched 5 scoreless innings on 3 hits, 2 walks, and 4 strikeouts. Miguel Aguilar struck out 2 while not giving up an earned run over 2 innings though he was wild, and Connor Bennett struck out the side in his inning. Alejo “Aloha” Lopez was 2 for 4 with a triple, 3-run homer, 3 runs scored, and 4 RBI total. Hendrik “Clementine” Clementina was 3 for 4 with a solo homer, and Satchel “Paige” McElroy was 2 for 4 with a solo homer, 2 runs scored, and a walk.

Junior Harding pitched 2.1 scoreless with 3 strikeouts, and Stephen “Helen” Keller struck out 2 in 2 scoreless. Miguel “Miggy” Hernandez was 2 for 4, and Reniel “Kidney” Ozuna was 2 for 4 with a walk and a RBI.

Saturday

Amir “Cat” Garrett continues his struggles. He only walked 1 with 4 strikeouts, but he also gave up 9 hits and 4 earned runs over 5.2 innings. The bullpen was trash. Alex “Blandiyes” Blandino was 1 or 3 with 2 walks again, Adam Brett “NASCAR Name” Walker was 2 for 5 with a double, triple, and 2 RBI, and Sebastian “Lizard People” Elizalde knocked in 3 on a 2 for 4 evening.

Jesus “Lives” Reyes got nailed on Saturday (this joke works so much better if it was a Friday) giving up 3 earned runs over 3 innings. This happened on 7 hits, 2 walks, while striking out 6. Robert “Chicken” Stock struck out 4 over 3 scoreless innings. Nick “Senzinnati” Senzel had a typical ho-hum game by going 1 for 3 with a walk.

Wendolyn Bautista was awesome. He threw 6.1 shutout innings on 6 hits, 1 walk, and 4 strikeouts. Ryan “Jimi” Hendrix struck out 2 in 1.2 scoreless, and Jake “Scritch Scratch” Ehret struck out 2 in his scoreless inning to pick up the save. Reydel Medina was 2 for 4.

Matt Blandino struck out 6 in 5 innings, but he also gave up 5 earned runs. He also allowed 7 hits and walked one batter. Moises “Super” Nova struck out 1 over 2 innings. Carlos Rivero wenr 3 for 5 with 2 doubles and 2 runs scored, Taylor “All Star” Trammell doubled, knocked in a RBI, walked twice, and stole 2 bases. He now has 35 steals on the season. Taylor Sparks solo dingered and walked, and John “Say It Ain’t” Sansone solo dingered and walked.

Luis “Alopecia” Alecis struck out 5 in 6 scoreless innings with no walks and only 4 hits surrendered. Tyler “Cheeseburger In Paradise” Buffett struck out 3 in 2 scoreless, and Ryan “Got His” Nutof pitchd a scoreless inning. Jeter “Re2pect” Downs went 2 for 3 with 2 runs scored, a stolen base, and a RBI. Miles Gordon walked twice.

Ricardo “Ricky” Smith gave up 2 earned runs over 5 innings on 7 hits, 1 walk, and 3 strikeouts. Francis Jones did give up an an earned run over 3 innings but also struck out 4. Miggy Hernandez went 3 for 4 with a RBI.

Sunday

Rookie “Of The Year” Davis gave up 5 earned runs over 6 innings. He gave up 6 hits and 2 dingers, but didn’t walk a batter and struck out 4. Alex Blandino was 1 for 3 with 2 walks again, but this time he also hit a 2-run dinger. If you’re counting, Blandino walked 6 times this weekend. Brandon “No” Dixon “The Dance Floor” was 4 for 5 with 3 fucking home runs, a double, and 7 RBI total. That’s pretty cool. Tyler “Good Day” Goeddel was 2 for 3 with a RBI and 2 walks.

Tyler Mahle takes the mound t 7:05 PM ET.

Jose “Porky” Lopez had a fantastic start. He struck out 5 and walked none over 6 innings. He gave up 5 hits and 2 earned runs. Tanner “Hides” Rainey struck out 2 over 2 scoreless. Blake “Brahan” Trahan was 1 for 3 with a walk. Josh VanMeter went 2 for 4 with a double.

Deck McGuire starts at 6:35 PM CT.

Jonathon “Crawfish” Crawford continues to be bad. He walked 5 in 4 innings, but only gave up 2 earned runs somehow. He struck out 2 and allowed 3 hits. Jake “Johnson” Paulson struck out 1 in 2 scoreless, and Rafael “Turtle Power” De Paula struck out 2 in a scoreless inning. Chris “Are You” Okey “Annie” walked twice.

Daytona has Monday off.

Wennington Romero knocked off some of the rust. He did give up 2 homers and 3 earned runs over 6 innings. But, he only allowed 6 hits, didn’t walk a batter, and struck out 9. Carlos “Macho Man” Machorro struck out 4 over 3 innings to pick up his first save of the season. Randy “Boner” Ventura went 3 for 4 with a solo homer and a walk. Jose Siri also hit a solo dinger, walked twice, scored 2 runs, and stole his 40th base of the year. Bruce Yari knocked in 3 with a double on a 2 for 4 afternoon.

Scott Moss pitches at 7:00 PM ET.

Jhon De Jesus didn’t do well. He gave up 5 earned runs over 3.2 innings on 7 hits, 3 walks, and 3 strikeouts. He also gave up 2 homers. Cory Thompson struck out 3 over 2 scoreless, and Connor Ryan struck out 1 over a scoreless inning. JD “Grilled” Salmon-Williams was 2 for 4 with a solo dinger and 2 runs scored. Hendrik Clementina went 2 for 4 with a double and 2 RBI.

Mac Sceroler pitches at 7:05 PM MT.

Jacob “Heavenly” Heatherly gave up 1 earned run over 6 innings on 5 hits, 1 walk, and 1 strikeout. Edward “Boozy” Escoboza struck out 3 over an inning. Cash “Money” Case went 2 for 3 with 2 walks, a RBI, and 2 runs scored. Reshard Munroe, Jonathan Willems, Alejandro Paulino, and Nathaniel Scantlin all had 2 hit games.