We created a bean bag chair with a removable, storable artificial vagina that hides away right inside the chair itself. And the Velcro that keeps the fake pussy in place becomes the self-closing seal on the storage compartment when the unit is removed. While there’s no award (that we know of) for excellence in furniture sex toys design, if there was, we think this chair deserves a nomination.

Before we got started on the chair, the first step was to assemble the “fake pussy” unit. Taking a tip from various reader submissions we’ve received, we used a rubber glove for the main “receptacle”. If you have a latex allergy, of course, you’ll want to use a vinyl or nitrile glove instead. A toilet paper roll, with most of the TP still on it, is used for the “holder”. Using a TP roll means you can custom size the roll to fit whatever type of glove or bag you’re using by unrolling more or less paper from it. The unit is meant to be replaceable in case it gets mucked up with extended use, and TP is cheap and readily available. If toilet paper roll is too snug a fit, you can try using a paper towel roll.

First we wrapped the TP roll in duct tape to help hold it together and give it more substance, and to create a bit of a moisture barrier. We wrapped vertical straps of tape around the roll from one hole to another. Each piece of tape had a two-inch vertical cut in each end, making two flaps that could be crisscrossed and overlapped so the tape would lie more smoothly against the inner curve of the tube.

To prepare the glove, we inserted the fingers through the middle of the tube and turned the outer cuff down around the outside of the roll, then marked the glove at the top of the roll to get the position for the Velcro strips. The glove was removed from the TP roll and we glued two equal length strips of hook Velcro and loop Velcro to each side of the glove. We used Gorilla Glue and clamped it per the instructions. After it was dry, the glove was replaced on the TP roll with the Velcro in position.

The first step in preparing the chair was to rip out a small opening in one side seam, about 5.5 inches long and about halfway along the bag. Since the sides of the opening are going to wrap around the TP roll/pussy unit, we calculated the necessary length of the slit by finding the circumference of the TP roll and dividing by 2. We carefully tore the stitches out with a utility knife (a seam ripper is easier if you have one), and then reinforced the ends of the opening with a few hand stitches so the opening would not unravel and enlarge further.

We wanted to put a plastic bag inside the opening for several reasons. First, to keep the Styrofoam pellets from escaping when the pussy unit was removed or replaced; second, to create a moisture barrier for any leaking lube or, uh, other fluids; and third, to create a stowaway compartment where the pussy unit could be stored when not in use. A quart-sized Ziploc bag happened to fit inside the opening perfectly.

After inserting the bag, we folded the edges of the fabric over into the inner edge of the bag and glued it in place. Sewing the plastic bag to the fabric would be more appropriate if you expect to put a lot of strain on the unit or use it frequently.When the plastic bag liner was secured, we cut two strips of Velcro – one

hooks and one loops – to fit along either side of the opening. We glued

the Velcro strips onto the inside fold of the fabric so they faced each

other, clamping them while the glue dried. The edge of each strip was just

slightly below the top of the opening so the Velcro would not be visible

when the opening was sealed.

Once the glue was dry, all we had to do was insert the pussy unit with the Velcro matched to the appropriate sides, and the bean bag was ready to rock and roll.

When you’re finished you can disengage the Velcro and just push the fake pussy inside, then reseal the seam. However, we recommend you take the unit out and clean it before storing it away, or you’ll find a funky surprise the next time you open it up.

The Velcro recloses the seam securely, and if you turn the bag around, it can be used for seating with no one the wiser to its other purpose.

Bonus Project!

Here is a low-budget alternative to our fuckable bean bag chair. You might want to try this design if you don’t want to buy a bean bag chair to fuck, or don’t want to cut your bean bag chair up. This toy is also very quick and easy to make, since it requires only scissors and duct tape for assembly.

The materials you’ll need are:

A rubber or nitrile glove

A roll of toilet paper

Duct tape

Scissors

A large (30 gallon) heavy-duty trash bag (the new “stretchy” kind works best)

Styrofoam packing peanuts (enough to fill the trash bag)

The artificial vagina unit for this project is basically the same as that used in the bean bag chair, minus the Velcro. Remove TP from the toilet paper roll until it’s the right size for the glove cuff to fit over it snugly. Reinforce the TP roll with vertical layers of duct tape, insert the fingers through the hole, turn the cuff inside out and pull down the outside of the roll.

Cut an X in the center of one side of the trash bag, making it just large enough for the TP roll to fit through.

Turn the bag inside out and insert the glove/TP roll unit fingers first from the other side. Make sure the triangular flaps are all folded inward so they encircle the TP roll evenly. Secure each flap with a small piece of duct tape, then wrap tape all the way around the cylinder to tape all the tabs down. Make sure the tape overlaps some onto the glove cuff.

Turn the bag right side out and fill with Styrofoam peanuts. You can “shape” it if you want by stretching out the bag in places to form “breasts”, or insert small pillows or balls as breasts in addition to the Styrofoam pellets. Pack the filling in tightly and tie the bag off at the top.