Are you tired of filling out brackets? Well too bad. My friend Danny from Orioles Uncensored and I created a March Madness-style tournament of Orioles players. These aren’t just any Orioles players, though. We focused on players from the not-so-great teams.

Let me explain.

Now that the Orioles are actually good and have had a few winning seasons under their belt recently, it’s kind of fun to look back at our losing seasons and laugh about how bad we used to be (I think so, at least). So Danny and I compiled a list of players who appeared for the Orioles at some point between 1998 and 2011, but were not on the team when we made the playoffs in 1997 or 2012.

That means no Cal Ripken, no Mike Bordick, no B.J. Surhoff, no Nick Markakis…you get the picture. The only exception to this rule is Brian Roberts, who was injured for most of the 2012 season and was left off the postseason roster.

We wanted to have a little fun with it, so we comprised a grading system by which we ranked the players based on a combination of performance, popularity, and longevity, plus bonus points where we saw fit (i.e. cool name, achieved a notable feat, etc.).

The result: a bracket of, essentially, good Orioles players on bad Orioles teams.

The players are placed on the bracket based on both our rankings and what we thought would be fun matchups. You may or may not disagree with some of the seeding, but below we will break down each individual player, and you will have an opportunity to vote for the first-round matchups.

The left side of the bracket (comprising the Sam Perlozzo and Dave Trembley regions) will be decided right here at Eutaw Street Report and the right side (Lee Mazzili and Mike Hargrove regions) will be over on O’s Uncensored. When you’re finished here, make sure you head over there and cast your votes for the right side of the bracket.

We have some great matchups over there, featuring Ty Wigginton against Jake Fox, Brad Bergesen against Daniel Cabrera, and Vladimir Guerrero against Sammy Sosa, among many more exciting battles.

If you would like a copy of the full bracket to print and fill out yourself to predict who you think will make it to the championship, shoot me an email (esr_blake@hotmail.com) and I will gladly send you the file.

Please enjoy this new version of March Madness. Tell your friends, your family, your coworkers, your dentist, your attorney, your pet hamster, whoever you want. Let’s have some fun with this. Happy voting!

Round 1 Matchups:

Sam Perlozzo Region

(1) Melvin Mora

Mora was traded to Baltimore from the New York Mets mid-season in 2000 and was used as a utility player for a few years before becoming the O’s everyday third baseman, a position in which he thrived until 2009. This father of quintuplets was a two-time All Star as an Oriole and led the American League with a .419 OBP in 2004. He is a fan favorite to this day and is our #1 overall seed in this tournament. Bonus points for his simple yet awesome walk up song.

vs. (16) Jose Bautista

Yes, THAT Jose Bautista. Jose was a Rule 5 pick of the Orioles in 2004 and appeared in 16 games, posting a .273 batting average in just 12 plate appearances, including three strikeouts and no home runs. We really just put him on here because trolling is fun.

Vote for who should advance to the next round:

(2) Jay Gibbons

In seven years with the Orioles, Gibbons blasted 121 home runs, including a few through some windows of the B&O Warehouse in a very entertaining Comcast SportsNet commercial. Gibbons was always a fan favorite, despite appearing in the Mitchell Report amongst steroid allegations that later proved to be accurate.

vs. (15) Buddy Groom

Save one good season in which he posted a 1.60 ERA in 70 appearances, Wedsel “Buddy” Groom was never much more than a decent left handed relief pitcher. He’s really only on this list because of his cool-ish name.

Vote for who should advance to the next round:

(3) Larry Bigbie

Bigbie hit .271 with 31 HR & 134 RBI over parts of five seasons in Baltimore. His real value came in the outfield, where his fielding percentage was nearly perfect. Bigbie made a total of three errors in 350 games as an Orioles outfielder – not too shabby. Similar to Gibbons, Bigbie was mentioned in the Mitchell Report and admitted to steroid use, but fans still seemed to love him nonetheless.

vs. (14) David Newhan

Newhan’s brief time with the Orioles was interesting, to say the least. After a very good 2004 season in which he hit .311 with seven triples, he was mostly a bench player in 2005. He seemed to be resurging in 2006, posting a .400 batting average in Spring Training and earning a starting role to begin the season. Then, on April 17, he broke his leg sliding into second base on a steal attempt, and so ended his tenure in Baltimore. He gets bonus points for his inside-the-park home run at Fenway against Pedro Martinez.

Vote for who should advance to the next round:

(4) Ramon Hernandez

Another fan favorite, Ramon hit 23 home runs and drove in 91 in his first season as an Oriole. His numbers declined a bit over the next two years, but he still managed a very respectable 7.3 oWAR and 3.0 dWAR over his three seasons in Baltimore. Bonus points for having a really pretty swing.

vs. (13) Brian Burres

Burres was just another bad pitcher on a team full of bad pitchers. His 5.88 ERA over three seasons with the Orioles is… uh… not good. Nothing special about this lefty.

Vote for who should advance to the next round:

(5) Geronimo Gil

Gil was the figure behind the phrase “Don’t. Run. Ever” before Matt Wieters made it cool. Geronimo was a liability at the plate, but his arm and general presence behind the plate kept him in the lineup for the better part of a few seasons in Baltimore. He threw out 31% of baserunners in his career. Bonus points for his cool name.

vs. (12) Radhames Liz

Radhames Liz was really, really good in the minor leagues. Radhames Liz was really, really bad in the major leagues. The flame-thrower dealt a no-hitter as part of an outstanding 2007 season in Bowie. He came up to the majors and had a career 7.50 ERA in 110.1 innings as an Oriole. He has no MLB experience post-2009, and yet, the Pittsburgh Pirates signed him to a major league deal this offseason. I have an autographed jersey of his for some reason.

Vote for who should advance to the next round:

(6) Luis Matos

Everyone in Baltimore seemed to love the injury-prone Matos. He was a very mediocre ballplayer but he played with heart and passion. He gets a higher seed for being a generally likable guy.

vs. (11) Freddie Bynum

Bynum was very fast and, well… that’s really all he had going for him. He didn’t get on base enough to be a real base stealing threat. He played just about every position, but wasn’t exceptionally good at any of them. He gets bonus points because he high-fived me one time.

Vote for who should advance to the next round:

(7) Javy Lopez

After hitting 43 home runs with the Braves in 2003 and coming in 5th in the National League MVP voting, the Orioles inked All Star catcher Javy Lopez to a three-year, $22.5M deal after failing to sign Ivan Rodriguez. Over the span of his contract in Baltimore, Javy barely surpassed his 2003 home run total, knocking only 46 out of the park over three injury-ridden years. Despite performing below what we thought he was capable of, Javy was still a threat in our lineup and put up solid numbers, hence his place on our list.

vs. (10) Jeff Fiorentino

My favorite Orioles minor leaguer ever. I’m not really sure why, but he is. He appeared in 56 games in his big league career for the Orioles, but never made any impact. He’s probably overrated here as a 10 seed, but that is for you all to decide.

Vote for who should advance to the next round:

(8) Jay Payton

Payton ended what was a very solid MLB career with a couple seasons in Baltimore. He wasn’t spectacular, but he was good enough to stay in the lineup. Jay was always really nice to fans, which helped boost his ratings in our tournament.

vs. (9) Corey Patterson

Corey played two different stints with the Orioles covering a span of three years. During that time, he stole 103 bases in 357 games. Oh, how I miss having a true stolen base threat on our team…

Vote for who should advance to the next round:

Now, head over to O’s Uncensored and vote there too!

As always, comments and feedback are greatly appreciated! Sound off in the comment section of this post or find me on twitter @ryguyblake.

Coming tomorrow: The Dave Trembley Region.

ALSO!

Speaking of obscure Orioles, don’t miss Section 336‘s third annual Night at the Yard, which this year highlights just those players! Obscure Orioles Night at the Yard.