Dream Daddy, though, encourages players not to think about romance as a game at all. You can try to impress the music nerd or the academic with knowledge you don't have, but chances are your fakery will fall flat. You might think that the best way to win points with a standoffish dad is through sarcasm; once you learn his backstory, however, you find that what he really wants is kindness. The heartaches and emotional wounds of the men you pursue are not obstacles to be overcome en route to sex, but rather fragments of real humanity that make them even more lovable—and often force you to reexamine your own intentions.

During the resolution of one storyline, you're given an option when comforting one of the dads in a moment of personal crisis: You can tell him what he wants to hear or tell him what he needs to hear. If you prioritize your desire to “win” sex over the well-being of your vulnerable friend—to treat him like a game rather than a person—the result is guilt-inducing, even a little tragic.

Some of the dads have had relationships with women, some with men, but there's no agonizing about their sexual orientation and no more mention of it than there would be in a traditionally heterosexual romance.

Dream Daddy is an unabashedly queer game, but not performatively so; it's far more interested in being than announcing. Some of the dads have had relationships with women before, some with men, but there's no agonizing about their sexual orientation and no more mention of it than there would be in a traditionally heterosexual romance. They simply follow their hearts, and any obstacles they face are a result of emotional and personal complications, not struggles with their identities. “We were determined to not make any of the dads' individual paths about their sexuality or have their sexuality be their defining trait," Gray says. "We can have narratives that are about queer people that are not necessarily about being queer. It’s about these relationships.”

When you create your own character, you also have the option to make him a trans dad if you wish, complete with the ability to choose chest binders. One of the dads, Damien, is transgender as well, though you can easily play through the game without realizing it; there's no neon sign pointing at his gender identity, only subtle hints as you get to know him better. Like the rest of the dads, he is who he is—and he is allowed to be, without controversy. “The most moving [feedback] comes from people who are trans or nonbinary people feeling really included in this experience,” Gray says. “Someone actually messaged me today and said that this game encouraged them to come out as non-binary to their parents. The game and the community surrounding the game was so positive and loving that it encouraged them to be themselves.”

If You Build It, They Will Play

Dream Daddy's success belies a long-held assumption of the mainstream gaming world: that making games about LGBT people is an inherently niche endeavor, one that limits your potential audience and sales. While the industry has taken marginal steps toward inclusion, queer characters still tend to crop up as sidekicks and subplots rather than as protagonists.

But Gray sees something very different in the passionate response from Dream Daddy fans: an audience that has gone dismally underserved by an industry that has failed to either see it or acknowledge it, and one that is ready to show up in force when offered a full-course meal rather than just scraps. She points to game franchises like Dragon Age and Mass Effect, both of which have amassed huge followings in part because of the in-depth (and gender-inclusive) romances they offer in between their battles. “I know so many people who play those games not because they’re interested in the combat but because they want the romance and the relationships,” she says. “Younger women, women who are queer like me, and younger people in general are interested in more complex narrative experience from a videogame.”

Nor does putting queer characters and experiences center stage mean that a general audience can’t embrace them as well. Gray notes that while queer people—along with women and people of color—have long been expected to sympathize with straight, white cis characters, the mainstream games industry remains reluctant to ask the reverse. And yet, this presumed lack of empathy or imagination hasn’t stopped lots of people outside the LGBT community from playing Dream Daddy and helping make it a hit.