OTTAWA, ON—A contrite Harjit Sajjan apologized to the people of Canada today, saying that he regrets calling himself the architect of an Afghan offensive called Operation Medusa in 2006.

He says that he understands this is a major breach of his responsibility and that he may have to step down as prime minister.

"This sort of distorting of the facts, and claiming more credit than one is due, is not what Canadians expect from their prime minister," said Sajjan, standing behind a podium adorned with a crude and seemingly homemade insignia of the Prime Minister's Office.

"Which is me. In my opinion."

"That is why I invited all of you here—reporters, ordinary Canadians, and politicians except Justin Trudeau—to let you know how deeply sorry I am. I have not made my mind up yet regarding my decision to leave the my job as your prime minister."

"I have the full support of the prime m— of Justin, of my friend Justin. I believe he's… he has a job. I know he has a job in government and as such I have asked for his counsel."

"One must take responsibility as a man. I am a man. I am a large man. I am a man who is 17 feet tall and people expect a lot of humility and honesty from such a man."

At press time, Sajjan said that he will not be resigning as CEO of Microsoft, as he likes to keep his business career separate from his political career.

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