If you’ve let this election ruin your life as much as we have, you won’t be remembering Tuesday night.

The best-case scenario? Your friend tells you Wednesday morning about the way you were hanging off a stranger, pounding your fist to “Fight Song” and screaming “I’M WITH HER!”

Worst case? The cops can’t hold you in the drunk tank anymore because our nation has spilled into chaos.

Either way, it’s been a long, hard election season. Every red-blooded American has earned the right to get obliterated after hearing who our next president will be.

These Election Day drink recipes promise to erase Nov. 8 and the last 15 years of this election cycle from your memory.

“Stronger Together”

Ingredients:

Bourbon

Vodka

Gin

Rum

Whiskey

Scotch

Tequila

Malt liquor

Moonshine

Brandy

Baijiu

Sake

Beer

Wine

Hard cider

Spirits

Any other loose alcohol in the area

Mix in 10-liter bucket (or largest container you can find).

Chug.

“Make America Puke Again”

Ingredients:

Fireball

Triple sec

Cointreau

Malibu

Henry’s Hard Soda

Bitters

Clumps of Tang dust

Recycled candy corn

Pumpkin zest

Pig ear (garnish)

Bacardi 151

Light on fire.

Grab awkwardly.

Kiss more awkwardly.

“Mazel Tov Cocktail”

Ingredients:

Manischewitz

Goldschlager

Put On Jay Z’s “No Church in the Wild.”

Pour mixture into pimp cup.

Hang yarmulke off the side.

Throw at Scottie Neil Hughes. Enjoy!

“FiveThirtyEight”

Ingredients:

5 shots of Patron Silver

30-minute data-induced panic attack

8 shots of Espolon Silver

Refresh the FiveThirtyEight forecast page to taste.

“Me Llamo Es Tim Kaine!”

Ingredients:

Warm milk

An uncomfortable amount of mezcal.

Drink until you inexplicably speak perfect Spanish.

“We Have Not Changed Our Conclusions That We Expressed In July”

Ingredients:

1 part Tuscan white rum

Splash of crisp riesling

3 mint leaves

Soda

Fresh lime juice

2 teaspoons sugar

Salt rim of martini glass

Text your ex: “We’re not done.”

After you realize what you did, text: “Never mind. Forget I said anything. Lol.”