A funny guy

Haha! That hilarious, completely relevant joke you just told reminded me of this funny thing I did once, which I’ll now tell you about even though it has nothing to do with our current conversation. Sure, it would make more sense for me to say something funny that’s related to what we’re talking about, as you just did, but nothing comes to mind now (or ever ), except this funny thing I did one time.

Even though I never say anything funny, I know I am funny — because I’m a man. So I’ll now offer you this one example of a time when I was funny to prove that I am, indeed, funny. Haha wow, it may seem like I’m a little insecure about whether or not I’m funny, but I’m not — insecure, I mean. I am, however, REALLY FUCKING FUNNY OK??? Or at least I was this one time.

OK so here’s the story. I was in a frat in college, obviously haha. And once I was hanging out with Sully, our pledgemaster, and he was like, “Dude, what if we make the pledges sort giant piles of rainbow sprinkles by color?” And I was like, “Bro, that’s such a hilarious idea. How did you even come up with that?” And he was like, “I was just looking at the sprinkles on this ice cream I’m currently eating. And also my girlfriend’s sorority did it last week.” And I was like, “Holy shit dude, that’s such a great idea you just had.” And then he was like, “The Alpha Phi girls made the pledges coat their hands in Vaseline first, to make it harder.” And I was like, “Yo dude — we should do that too!”

And then we did it and it was so funny, oh man. We all laughed so hard! What’s that you say? Well, yeah…I guess it wasn’t exactly my idea, but actually going through with the girls’ Vaseline idea was my idea, so in that sense, it was my idea. Plus, I waited in the car while Sully bought the sprinkles, so I was like, part of it, you know? Also, I stood there and pointed and laughed at the pledges for three hours, and all the other Delta O brothers were standing next to me and they were also laughing, so like, I was involved.

Anyway there you have it: a concrete example of me being funny one time several decades ago, just exactly like you were funny once a few minutes ago when you used your quick wit to tell that relevant joke. Oh you do stand-up? I’ve always thought about trying it and telling that story I just told you about the questionably funny thing I was vaguely involved with one time. I think it would crush!