The most popular film genre in the 70s was clearly Robert De Niro’s Pre-Dirty Grandpa Phase, but a close second was Dumb Kids Hurting Themselves. Emergencies - What Would You Do? is a standout, taking the critically lauded step of leaving the viewer uncertain if the endangered children were willing actors or not.

Whether it’s drowning, eating bleach, or somehow not understanding how basic playground equipment like the swings work, you’ll witness future Darwin Award winners in action, all under the guise of teaching kids the valuable lesson that in case of emergency, you should immediately find someone smarter and stronger than you to help.

Mike, Kevin, and Bill opted to remain humble freelance architects rather than transform into Safety Woman and help these kids, and frankly we don’t blame them.