Some of the most telling iterations of whiteness occurred this weekend. First, we had a historic Women’s March. A march where a lot of white feminists patted themselves on the back for being “nonviolent,” pulling Martin Luther King, Jr. quotes out of nowhere to feel better about their efforts. Many women of color were involved and made it known that white women got us into this mess. So at least there was that. But let’s just ignore the fact that some mics were cut off while others weren’t, shall we?

The central way that whiteness plays out, however, is often through enabling behavior. The response to Richard Spencer, a man calling for ethnic cleansing, getting punched in the face during an interview was sad, to say the least. The sympathy that this man received from individuals to publications was not shocking, but very disappointing. Remember, this comes after LA Times and Mother Jones headlines that call the “young” man (read: 38 years of age) a dapper white nationalist.

If any of this comes as a shock, please consider…

…the other words used for Black youth (read: thug, demon, Hulk).

…how Ryan Lochte — 32 year old Olympic swimmer — was just a “boy” when he made up elaborate lies that hurt others, all in an effort to cover up his own childish escapades.

…how Black youth are seen as older than they actually are and that Black boys are committing suicide at higher rates.

Anyway.

If white people and non-Black people of color want to start denouncing violence against self-proclaimed white nationalists and nazis, can they at least own up to a few things first?

One: was this decision made before or after they incited — and then ignored — violence against Black, Japanese, Indigenous, Chinese, Mexican, Central American, Islander, Jewish, queer, disabled, trans, dark-skinned, and many more groups of people based solely on their identity, country of origin, or body?

Two: how do so many folks in one group of people preach pacifism after years of violence and complicity in violence?

Three: how does a group of folks chide violent protest when their country was founded on the very same thing?

The violence of whiteness isn’t just the blatant violence we see through outright KKK members, but the silencing of dissent. The double standards. The gaslighting. The way that white women will disproportionately vote for Trump and then go march against him when they realize that they threatened their own lives. Whiteness is a scary thing, and even scarier when challenged.