The Lawsuit Of The Century: Jimmy Carter Is Suing The Makers of Truck Nutz For Using His Likeness After Discovering Their Products Resemble His Testicles Exactly

A major legal battle is underway between a beloved American icon and the company he believes wronged him: Jimmy Carter is suing the makers of Truck Nutz for using his likeness without authorization after discovering their products resemble his testicles exactly.

Wow, this is sure to be a lawsuit that will take years to resolve.

President Carter filed a lawsuit Monday against Truck Nutz, the company that manufactures plastic and chrome genitalia that consumers can hang on their vehicles, for allegedly appropriating the image of his swinging, teardrop shaped scrotum without his permission and using it for their products, Truck Nutz and Biker Ballz. Carter’s lawsuit accuses Truck Nutz of false endorsement and deceptive trade practices, and Carter’s lawyers have reported that when the former president looks at any Truck Nutz product, he “feels like he’s looking at his hairless ballsack in the mirror.”

There’s no two ways about it: This is shaping up to be one of the most contentious court cases of the century.

“If Truck Nutz had simply called me up in advance and asked for my permission to use my testicles as the model for their product, I would have eagerly allowed them to copy my balls for free,” President Carter said in an impassioned statement to the press outside Webster County Superior Court shortly after filing his lawsuit. “Instead, this malicious company used the image of my testicles without asking, and they made them way too big. They took my nice, modest testicles and made them humongous. They look like giant clones of my tiny testes! I’m not just mad that they took my likeness, I’m also furious that they made my balls too big!”

Mr. Carter, who has since been preparing for the Oct. 5 court date by combing through his records for pictures of his balls circa 1999 so that he can enter them into evidence in the courtroom, will be representing himself.

What a mess! It’s now up to a judge to decide whether the likeness of Jimmy Carter’s testicles are indeed hanging from thousands of trucks across the nation. Truck Nutz better lawyer up, because it sounds like President Carter is out for blood!