Teenage boys need help from schools to navigate sexual consent and avoid ‘dire consequences’ of getting things wrong, says headteacher Exclusive: Helen Pike, the head of Magdalen College School in Oxford, said students drink less because of consent concerns

Teenage boys are unsettled by the “dire consequences” of getting sexual consent wrong, and need teaching in school to help them navigate such issues, a leading headteacher has said.

Helen Pike, the head of Magdalen College School – an independent school in Oxford – said students are also drinking less than previous generations because they are so worried about getting things wrong.

In a blog for i, Ms Pike – who is a member of the HMC group of private school heads – writes: “In common with many universities, institutions like Magdalen College School have thought carefully about how to teach young people to be caring and consensual. It’s one thing to be a consenting adult, but it’s something else to know when another adult isn’t consenting.

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“It’s vital that we take this seriously- when young people get consent wrong the consequences can be devastating for everyone involved. There are few things more challenging for schools than dealing with a rape allegation.”

‘Dire consequences’

She says that “for some teenage boys, the dire consequences of getting consent wrong can be unsettling”. Schools must therefore “enable them to navigate this with sensitivity and also some confidence”.

Magdalen College School teaches boys between the ages of seven and 18, and takes girls in the sixth form.

At the school, Ms Pike says that from the ages of twelve to eighteen, our pupils approach consent from a “range of angles” which include sexting and pornography.

“With younger pupils, the question of consent is less explicitly sexual and relates more to respect for others’ boundaries.”

‘Consent is like tea’

The school is also considering getting upper-sixth students to talk to those in the lower-sixth so scenarios relating to consent can be “workshopped”.

Ms Pike says that the school teaches its pupils that “consent is like tea”. “Treat any sexual encounter in the way that you would approach asking someone if they want a cup of tea. If someone said no, you wouldn’t be offended, and you wouldn’t attempt to force tea on them either.”

She says that consent is a “very live issue for young people”, which is already influencing the way they act.

“The behaviour even of seemingly consenting adults who meet in the workplace may well come freighted with frowns from HR at the very least – and the realistic prospect of a sacking at worst,” she writes.

Students drinking less

“Small wonder that students worry about navigating this landscape, and that many of them are drinking less than my generation did at their age.”

Consent is an issue which is gaining greater prominence in education. From September all secondary schools in England will have to teach relationships and sex education, and all primaries will have to teach relationships education.

The Government’s guidance makes clear this should include teaching about consent.

Last year a survey also found that two third of British universities have introduced “consent training” for students in a bid to tackle sexual harassment and violence on campuses.