Trump’s first go-to in the search for someone to take the fall went to his standard fall guys, with the current kinda-sorta press secretary Kayleigh McEnany calling out the press for taking Trump “out of context” while claiming that Trump never tried to give medical advice. The only problem with that is that there was no “context,” other than the context of how the networks have been broadcasting Trump’s increasingly off the rails press events in full. Actually, that’s not the only problem, because McEnany’s statement also requires ignoring the dozens of other times Trump tried to dispense advice.

Right-wing media, both on Fox News and radio, tried to help out by coming up with the pretense that Trump was talking about some new and radical treatment—something too cool to be known by plain old medical doctors like Deborah Birx or Anthony Fauci. Are they supergenius messiahs? No! Then how can they be aware of the brilliance of ideas like a Clorox vape? There doesn’t yet seem to be a body count attached to this particular effort to own the libs … but it’s early.

Meanwhile, the White House seems to have pinned down a new scapegoat for Bleachgate. As The Washington Post reports, the whirling finger of blame has landed on Department of Homeland Security undersecretary William Bryan. And what did Bryan do? He had a briefing for Trump in which he discussed how UV light and disinfectants were effective in removing coronavirus from surfaces. Apparently, when giving this information to Trump, Bryan neglected to say that surfaces doesn’t include the interior of lungs or veins.

Apparently, a number of White House officials had deep concerns about this demonstration of cleaning something being taken in front of Donald Trump. Several people seemed to believe that Bryan had a lot of information in his presentation, and that the whole thing “was not ready” to go in front of Trump. Dr. Fauci seems to have predicted where Trump would take it, with worries the presentation might be taken as “the cure for humans.”

Of course, it’s understandable that Trump had to be given a briefing on how things are cleaned. For Trump, a can of Lysol or a jug of Clorox are arcane objects he has never handled in his life. He may have glimpsed such things being wielded by invisible people who scurried in to clear away the remains of his latest donuts and taco salad conquest. Or he made demand that those people only come out at night. Anyway, it’s an easy bet that he’s never used any such product in his entire life.

Really, people should understand that Trump has never used a disinfectant, never swiped a cleaning cloth, and never even contemplated whether a load of laundry needs a shot of bleach. These things are all new to him. Exotic. It shouldn’t be surprising that Donald Trump had to be given a briefing on how to clean a counter top, or that he had no understanding of the chemicals involved. After all, he’s not a plain old fool. He’s a rich fool.

If you’ve ever wondered why there were warning levels on the side of consumer products, the answer appears to be: Donald Trump.

Warning: Not to be taken internally. Keep refrigerated after opening. Do not place toaster in the oven.