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Move over Adam and Eve. Here comes Adam and Steve, as well as Samantha and Delilah. A newly revised gay-friendly Bible is set to go on sale in the next few weeks. Reaction to the announcement has been met with venom from conservative Christian groups.

Pink Cross Publishing, the same company that published a gay-friendly version of the Koran, stated that they were adding the finishing touches to the newly revised Bible. Mary and Joseph will be replaced by Mary and Josephine, a lesbian couple unable to have children the conventional way, hence the virgin birth of Jesus. All of Jesus’ disciples will be gay except for Judas. In the new Bible, all of the disciples will pair off after the Last Supper with the exception of Judas. Satan will also be straight. The new gay-friendly Bible has yet to be named.

Westboro Baptist Church has promised to picket Pink Cross Publishing and any store selling the new Bible. In response, members of the gay community have stated that they will purchase the new Bible to support Pink Cross Publishing.

A companion workbook for children will also be available for use in Sunday schools. With input from newly defrocked priests, a Catholic version of the gay-friendly Bible will be published by year end.