The actual cutting was a different kind of pain. There are nerve endings in certain parts of your arm tissue. So when I broke the bone it hurt of course, but for me it was a happy moment because that was what was trapping me. It was the first time I realized I would soon be free. I broke the top then the bottom by bending my arm in the configurations I knew would snap it. That moment was the key to it all. If you can put yourself through all that and you're smiling a big beaming, pearly grin, you know you're winning. That stayed with me for the next hour. I was cutting through the skin, hacking through the muscle, breaking the tendon in my arm. I would feel the pain then I would smile because that pain meant impending freedom.