American Family Association spokesman Bryan Fischer has taken a hysterical stand against all of the pro-LGBT positions taken by the Republican Party during their convention.

Wait? What’s that? The Party passed the most vociferously anti-queer platform in history? So what! An openly gay conservative billionaire spoke on stage!!

Allowing a gay person to speak to Republican delegates spells doom for the Party, Fischer says. It’s a betrayal of everything the Party was founded to fight against. You know, like slavery. And same-sex marriage. (No one tell him that the first Republican president, Abraham Lincoln, had a thing for sleeping with his male friends.)

Someone grab the smelling salts and roll out the fainting couch, Fischer’s about to need it.