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Chronic overthinker Ella Wells has today heeded her friend Jessica’s advice, and taken some much needed time to practice mindfulness.

The 24-year-old office worker had been ranting to her mate about a catty clique at work when meditation was helpfully suggested as a coping mechanism.

However, the fact that Jessica neither had a debilitating abusive self monologue or any major life stresses may have had something to do with her meditation success.

“Look I gave it a go”, admits Ella, “but there’s a reason why I’m always distracting myself.”

“I don’t want to hear my thoughts.”

Ella says she put on some peaceful piano music and closed the blinds in her room to properly focus on being in the moment.

However, the voice in her head quickly welcomed the quietness as an excuse to stew about the day’s events.

“I KNOW they looked at each other when it was my turn to present”

“They definitely have a secret group chat.”

“Why don’t they ever invite me to lunch? Am I annoying?”

“I’m fucking nice that’s stupid.”

“Like you just FORGOT to let me know the meeting time changed, get fucked, Gwen.”

“Focus… on…breathing”

“…Does James ever think about me? FUCK this is a load of FUCKING SHIT.”

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH ME WHY DOESN’T IT WORK.”

Ella is now convinced that the only people good at practicing mindfulness are those who are already calm and collected and has instead resorted to alcohol as a coping mechanism.

More to come.

