There never has been an administration that better exemplifies the philosophical concept of, “You Be You” better than this administration* at the current moment. Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor worldwide pandemic will keep Camp Runamuck from its appointed spin, deception, and ass-covering. Two examples will suffice. The first came, to the surprise of approximately nobody, on the Fox News Channel, where Attorney General Bill (Sede Vacantis) Barr shared some thoughts about what he believes about the current situation. Predictably, they were very unhelpful.

"I am concerned that we not get into the business of declaring everything an emergency & then using these kinds of sweeping, extraordinary steps. But given where we were back in March, I think the president made the right decision.”

This is Bill Barr, wondering if the federal executive might exercise too much power. So we must presume that he is being ludicrously disingenuous for some other purpose, and with the permission of the president*.

(Barr also thinks the media is in cahoots to undermine the president*’s shilling for his Magic Potion. "As soon as he said something positive about it, the media’s been on a jihad to discredit the drug.” Now, that’s the kind of sycophancy we’ve come to expect from our consigliere.)

Chip Somodevilla Getty Images

Meanwhile, over in the office of the vice president, a man whose sucking up knows neither conscience nor doubt, news management never sleeps. From CNN:

Pence's office, which is responsible for booking the officials on networks during the pandemic, said it will only allow experts such as Dr. Deborah Birx or Dr. Anthony Fauci to appear on CNN if the network televises the portion of the White House briefings that includes the vice president and other coronavirus task force members. CNN often only broadcasts President Donald Trump's question and answer session, which sometimes includes the health care officials, live on-air.

As has become obvious, the networks have floundered in their attempts to be responsible during the pandemic, especially as regards the daily Five O’Clock Follies. And the administration* has leveraged this dithering to its own advantage. If CNN, for example, were to reverse the process that allegedly so bothers Pence—if it were, say, to refuse to cover the president*’s daily spelunking to the depths of his own ego and, instead, cover only Pence’s briefings with the experts—the screaming from the Oval Office would be audible in Rangoon. Now, there are only two possibilities here: either Pence has gone rogue, which would be the equivalent of Lassie turning into Cujo, or this is part of a general effort aimed at acclimating us all to an administration* plan to “re-open the country” sooner than would be considered wise by people who know what they’re talking about.

Limiting access to Doctors Anthony Fauci and Deborah Birx would serve that purpose. And Barr’s transparent attempt to render social distancing into the past tense would as well. I think they’re going to do it, and the devil take the hindmost, which he undoubtably will, in various terrible ways.

And NPR adds another exhibit to the case.

Some local officials are disappointed the federal government will end funding for coronavirus testing sites this Friday. In a few places those sites will close as a result. This as criticism continues that not enough testing is available. In the Philadelphia suburbs, Montgomery County has a drive-through site that has tested 250 people a day since March 21...A spokesperson for the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services tells NPR, "Many of the Community-Based Testing Sites (CBTS) are not closing, but rather transitioning to state-managed sites on or about April 10.” The agency and a spokesperson for FEMA say the CBTS program originally included 41 sites. It was intended as a stop-gap to bring testing to critical locations, especially for health care facility workers and first responders.

It is increasingly clear that the president* is on the verge of taking the approach once recommended by Senator George Aiken in relation to the Vietnam War—declare victory and get out. He has set up all the elements of doing so. His enablers already have begun declaring victory now that it is becoming clear that social distancing is working. The president* is ready to get back to full operational misrule and, if things go badly wrong, and they will, he can blame the states, especially the ones with Democratic governors. He will then campaign on a field of bones as the man who stopped the epidemic.

I can hardly wait.

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Charles P. Pierce Charles P Pierce is the author of four books, most recently Idiot America, and has been a working journalist since 1976.

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