Just for the record if any cherry trees are found to have been chopped down, I did not then light a bonfire with the twigs and throw a small child onto the flames and shout “MAY THE LORD OF DARKNESS WELCOME THIS SACRIFICE,” and certainly no blood was drunk by any person you would find interesting. That specific sequence of things did not happen, and H.R. McMaster can vouch for it.

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Although if that had happened, would it have been so wrong? Maybe it would have been great. Maybe it would have been the right thing to do. Maybe it was exactly what happened.

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Okay, it was exactly what happened. Here are several tweets to settle any doubts you may have had.

Didn’t Hillary Clinton routinely murder cherry trees? Really, she is the story.

Look, chopping down a cherry tree and using it to make a bonfire for a human sacrifice is not technically illegal.

Mike Pence didn’t know about it, though.

The media need to get over it. The real problem is how much CNN is covering it. This is just another gotcha story.

Look, we are all idiots. This is our first time here. We didn’t know it was frowned on. Can you blame us? Where are the signs saying, “Don’t cut down a small tree and use it to make human sacrifices?” There ought to be a sign.

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If the Founders wouldn’t have approved, they would said something. Yet they were silent. Clearly this was because they approved, not because they assumed it would be obvious to any relatively sane and rational person that this is NOT something you should do.

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Maybe this is something everyone should do. And, hey, doesn’t it speak volumes that the Lord of Vast Darkness is on our side?

Maybe we should all be cutting down cherry trees. Again, Hillary Clinton would have. So did JFK, I think.

Sean Hannity agrees.

It was good that we cut down the cherry tree, and we would do it again.