Tulsi Gabbard

Gabbard brings an unusual quotient of guts and class to political life, but the press hates her even more than it hates Bernie Sanders, so she would bring instant and unhelpful controversy to a ticket. She takes a staunchly anti-imperialist stance on foreign policy that puts her to the left of any other contender (Sanders included), and she is suspected of secret conservatism in her social views. This makes her impossible to pick as vice president and difficult to appoint to any cabinet position as well, although a Sanders White House could manage to get her confirmed as a head of Veterans Affairs. For the most part, like Donald Trump, Gabbard wins it all or she wins nothing.

Andrew Yang

Yang is a creative thinker with a lot of ideas beyond that of universal basic income. But politics is where the contours and edges of creativity and personality go to be ground down. Yang does well when he gets to be his own man, but, like cinnamon-marshmallow vodka, he blends poorly with ordinary ingredients. That makes him a dubious vice presidential choice. Also, while he would bring diversity to a ticket headed by someone like Biden, he wouldn’t, under present-day unwritten rules, bring enough of it. If he gets very popular, Yang might find himself filed away as a White House adviser so that he can be ignored, but otherwise he disrupts too much.

Cory Booker

Booker has charm, a thirst to please, and shamelessness, all of which are a good start. If Biden were the nominee, Booker would check the just-diverse-enough-without-going-overboard box, and he would bring energy and youth. Warren, Buttigieg, and several other less-likely candidates would see potential in Booker for similar reasons. Booker would also tell many fine tales, if not always true ones, and he would ham it up reliably. So far, Booker has interrupted most spats on the debate stage with a plea to stop the fighting and focus instead on the badness of Donald Trump, as if picking a Democratic nominee were something to be resolved after the election. But Booker hasn’t got himself into much trouble or staked out too much of a position, which means he can hitch himself to any front-running horse, no matter its direction.

Amy Klobuchar

Klobuchar has a reputation as one of the Senate’s worst bosses, but she comes across as likable and sane, the latter trait of which has become more valued in the Trumpian era. If the polls are anything to go by, though, she’s a vice president in search of a candidate, and her options are limited. She isn’t populist enough for Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren. Among the front-runners, that leaves Joe Biden, who would probably be more tempted by Warren or Harris or Booker. She would be a strong choice for someone like Buttigieg or Booker, but they’re not much ahead of her in the polls. On the other hand, unlike Kamala Harris, Klobuchar might say yes to the job of attorney general. She has been in the Senate for over a decade and might like a change. Al Franken could then run to replace her.

Beto O’Rourke

Some politicians are empty suits, but Beto O’Rourke avoids the problem by dressing casual. As a vice presidential pick, Beto would bring no diversity credentials or experience, but he might help to woo the swing voters who were waiting to be told that their country is foundationally racist and that he’ll take their guns. Beto curses a lot, because he’s authentic, or, as Beto might put it, fucking authentic. So far, though, it hasn’t catapulted him to the lead, or much beyond 10th place in the polls. On the other hand, Beto might be a good vice president to bring in midway through a term so that no one tries to impeach the actual president.

Julián Castro

Finally, we have Julián Castro, whose unfavorable ratings are high enough that you might think he’d said something interesting. But no such worries. He seems to have achieved his standing by other means, and blowback against a debate exchange when he implied that Joe Biden was getting senescent didn’t help. Biden is unlikely to pick the guy who called him senile, and Warren is unlikely to pick someone with even less experience in Washington. Sanders has no reason to pick him, and neither does anyone else. On the other hand, Castro is a shoo-in for secretary of HUD.

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