In a recent post, I wrote about GeekDad Chuck Lawton's concerns about helping his young son with reading and writing skills. In it, we GeekMoms shared a number of suggestions for building those skills while still having fun, which was important to Chuck. But while we were discussing the question of how to build those skills, we got a little sidetracked, wondering if we really had to build those skills so early. Just because a school system says kids should be reading at a certain age, are we obligated to push them, however gently we may do so?

GeekMom Laura wrote a relevant post about how reading readiness has to do with the body. In that post, she says:

Children pushed to read young tend to rely on right brain processes because that area matures more quickly. These early readers are likely to guess at unknown words using clues such as appearance, context, beginning and ending letters. Their main tactic is memorizing sight words. These are valuable methods but not a balanced approach to reading. Such children may quickly tire after reading short passages or read smoothly but have difficulty deriving meaning from what they read. The procedure they use to decode words can make the content hard to comprehend. These reading problems can persist. However children benefit when they learn to read naturally or are taught later. That’s because, as the left brain matures and the pathway between both hemispheres develops, it becomes easier for them to sound out words, to visualize meanings, and mentally tinker with abstractions.

Laura points out that kids develop unevenly and that schools tend to put a lot of emphasis on where kids don't do "as well as expected" rather than fostering the more natural process of letting those lagging areas pull up in tandem with a child's interests and gifts. In terms of cues, she says, there's some evidence that plenty of time in certain physical activities translate into reading readiness. (Teachers used to say that if a child can do jumping jacks smoothly, he's also ready to read.) She recommends the wonderful book The Well-Balanced Child: Movement and Early Learning for delving more deeply into the topic.

Rebecca also voiced concerns about "working" on reading with young children (especially boys) who will ultimately start reading when they are good and ready. Andrea suggests that at a young age it's more important to develop a positive attitude toward reading than it is to develop proficiency. Her family made reading an important bonding time because she wanted her kids to develop a positive attitude toward reading–and the habit just stuck. She still occasionally reads to both of her guys.

As a homeschooling parent, I didn't face the pressure of making sure that my kids "kept up" that many other parents do, but of course I wanted them to read! And it was, I admit, a little disconcerting to have an eight-year-old who didn't get it. But a couple of observations prevented me from pushing my son too hard. It was obvious to me that while he loved to listen to me read, the task of learning to do so himself just felt too huge to him. He recognized letters. He recognized a few words. But he had very little interest in tackling an entire story. Until he was really interested in it, it would be a lesson in futility. (As an aside, he did finally become interested in reading when everyone around him was raving about Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. I told him he could read the book when he could read it himself. Two weeks later, my "non-reader" had finished it.) The second thing that guided me was a friend's son, a bit older than my hesitant reader. He struggled with reading in kindergarten, but his teachers had pushed him to move through the appropriate books for his age level. This boy developed such a distaste for reading that he only did so when coerced. It wasn't fun for him. Now 18, he still hates reading. And while reading is critical to so many facets of our lives, it was just as important to me that my kids enjoy reading.

Laura – also a homeschooling mom – shared this during our discussion: "I'm well aware of many many kids who naturally didn't read until they were (gulp) eight, ten, even older. Some of their parents were terribly stressed and others were confident that it would happen when the child was ready. These kids are now all in their teens and twenties. Every one of them not only reads well but enjoys reading more than kids who had a lot of heavy-handed instruction."

Not everyone homeschools or has the freedom to let their kids learn at their own pace, though, and as schools continue to "teach to the test" it can become a battle of what's best for the child versus what the school (or governing body) needs. What's a parent to do? If you notice that reading or writing are causing more stress for your student than you'd like, the first step should be a discussion with the teacher. He or she may be willing to allow your child to freely explore a book corner during the planned lesson, rather than expecting the student to keep pace with the classroom. If there isn't any flexibility in the classroom, it might be worth discussing an individualized educational program with the school's administrators. And don't tell anybody I told you this, but if you feel that state-mandated assessment testing will cause undue stress, it is possible to opt out of those tests. The school will not like it, and will likely pressure you about your decision, but yes, you can opt out.

Of course, a learning disability can pose a different set of problems, and some GeekMoms were concerned that a casual approach to reading could pose problems in diagnosing a child who needs help. As Marziah said, "There's 'let it happen on it's own' and ignoring serious learning disabilities. Some kids become avid readers later than others, but that doesn't mean that every situation calls for 'wait and see' At six, it's perfectly normal to be a little bit behind peers, but a six-year-old that can't rhyme at all, for example, is exhibiting early signs of dyslexia."

I found it interesting that among the GeekMoms, parents with younger children were less likely to think a more relaxed attitude was acceptable while those of us with older children saw the value in letting the learning take a more natural course. Perhaps because those of us with older children have had more of a chance to see both types of learning in action, a chance to see that waiting can be a viable option? It's certainly a topic worth discussing.

We'd love to hear about your experiences with reading readiness. What worked for your child? What didn't work? What would you do differently?