No press conference for Theresa May in Brussels. Perhaps because she had absolutely nothing new to say whatsoever, though that hasn’t stopped her at any point in the last six months.

All we got were some short strangulated barks of nothing, lasting about a minute, delivered into a microphone held by the BBC’s Laura Kuenssberg, to make clear, as only she can, that nothing has changed.

Even by her own low standards, new lows were reached. In her own utterly unimpressive way, she has come to resemble one of those impossible Trinidadian limbo champions. There is no bar so low that she cannot find a way under it. Public expectation is barely six inches from the floor, and yet under it she went again, inching forwards on the insides of the arches of her feet, the impossibly supine woman, a human tray, sliding across the ground like a sea caterpillar

She has come to Brussels to renegotiate an agreement that cannot be renegotiated. To fulfil the mission given to her by the House of Commons, to go and ask for what everyone knows they will not give, and then come back with nothing.

“I’m. Erm. Clear. That. I’m. Going. To. Deliver. Brexit.” she stuttered. Her words left her mouth like terrified soldiers out of the landing crafts on D-Day. They seemed almost to have a futile life of their own, desperate not to be spat out into this hostile world. What chance would they stand, these little unarmed noises, not fit for combat, embarrassed by their own denuded ridiculousness?

Britain Before Brexit: Greater London Show all 16 1 /16 Britain Before Brexit: Greater London Britain Before Brexit: Greater London West Croydon A police van’s speed and siren bring people to shop windows, keen to watch the drama of the public space, curious to know if a crime has been committed and lining up like townsfolk in a western movie Richard Morgan/The Independent Britain Before Brexit: Greater London Trafalgar Square Morning light illuminates a typical scene outside the National Gallery. Everyone interacts with a phone, held in hands and gazed at, or held in the hands of others and posed for. The figure in the background is on another level, an exception, an anomaly Richard Morgan/The Independent Britain Before Brexit: Greater London East Croydon A dispute about shoplifting outside a store’s entrance, conducted in French, revolving around a gold watch Richard Morgan/The Independent Britain Before Brexit: Greater London Bank The Chinese flag hangs over the centre of British finance, its red blush bringing luck to the morning. St Paul’s Cathedral occupies the blue distance Richard Morgan/The Independent Britain Before Brexit: Greater London Bond Street Three pairs of legs and feet in different states, playing different roles in the heart of British commerce: one clothed, striding purposefully; another of white plastic, made to model and convince; the last barefoot, not standing Richard Morgan/The Independent Britain Before Brexit: Greater London Upton Park Plastic bags dress naked trees, only partially, flaying in the wind, torn and damp, leaving most of the branches exposed, like black cracks spreading across thin ice, across the tower block of civilisation Richard Morgan/The Independent Britain Before Brexit: Greater London Westminster A pro-Brexit protester walks past the Houses of Parliament and the anti-Brexit protesters camped opposite. Both have appropriated the Union Jack, claim to be acting in the national interest and to be patriotic. Caught in between are child and mother, who photographs the ‘home of democracy’, or herself Richard Morgan/The Independent Britain Before Brexit: Greater London Islington A new tube map is put up outside the station, hands reaching high, stretching upwards, as if in worship of the security camera, in awe of surveillance itself, one of London’s most valued currencies Richard Morgan/The Independent Britain Before Brexit: Greater London Tooting Broadway A huge bingo hall hidden away from the high street, populated sparsely by a few players. There’s so much concentration and focus. I can’t decide if they’re there to play, to win, to hide, to escape, or to kill time Richard Morgan/The Independent Britain Before Brexit: Greater London The Mall Horses are tourist attractions in certain parts of London, especially when they’re dressed in military regal attire and carrying a soldier or a guard. Tourists pose alongside them for selfies and generic holiday snaps, which when taken daily in their millions, re-enforce a global image of London as a hub of ceremonial pomp and ritual Richard Morgan/The Independent Britain Before Brexit: Greater London Tooting Bec An anonymous critique of an advert’s imagery, wheeling out the age-old distinction between lust and love, sex and companionship, surface and interior, shallowness and depth, superficial and real Richard Morgan/The Independent Britain Before Brexit: Greater London Wandsworth A declaration of the existence of community is damaged and broken. A sign portraying strength and solidarity looks weak and sad and lonely when it begins to crumble and fall apart Richard Morgan/The Independent Britain Before Brexit: Greater London Buckingham Palace I watch a lineup of paparazzi photographers outside the palace. They wait to pounce upon blacked out windows concealing guests to the Queen’s Christmas lunch. They appear bored and unenthusiastic, as if photography were for them but a chore that flashes light on celebrity faces Richard Morgan/The Independent Britain Before Brexit: Greater London St Paul’s The city is reflected by its values: a relentless list of imperative commands to become something else, some better version, upgraded; a message that says we need to acquire to improve; a hard-hitting reminder of your inadequacy and incompleteness Richard Morgan/The Independent Britain Before Brexit: Greater London Colliers Wood A laundrette on the peripheries, zone 3, where a man sits below another London – Piccadilly Circus – with its giddy movements and interactions, its colours and vibrancy, where life is shaken up and spun, as if in one of the washing machines below, rotating and loud, everything inside blurred Richard Morgan/The Independent Britain Before Brexit: Greater London Uxbridge A building site concealed with an image of what will be. A common way to cover up the messy process of (de)construction. The housing development claims to be affecting time and space, moving people into new places and better futures, fundamentally altering their existence Richard Morgan/The Independent

“I’m going to deliver it on time,” she carried on. “That’s what I’m going to do for the British public.” It is scarcely worth repeating that half the country doesn’t want it delivered on time. They don’t want it delivered at all. At some point, in the near and far too late future, it’s possible she’ll work out she should never have pretended to be Winston Churchill, charged with some sacred mission to deliver Britain to its promised land. The promised land will be terrible. She knows it, and not only can she not say it, she can’t extend her emotional range to acknowledge that she is dragging at least half her country kicking and screaming towards it.

As Kuenssberg spoke, patiently pointing out, at least three times, that Brussels has continually said no to the thing she is offering, the prime minister’s face seemed to transfix into some kind of death mask. It was the look a Scorsese gang boss gives in the moment he knows he’s been ratted out and the game is up.

It went on. “That’s what I’m going to do for the British public. I’ll be negotiating hard in the coming days to do just that,” she said, before grimacing and striding out towards her waiting car. That car was there to take her back to London, where she would, apparently ”be negotiating hard in the coming days.”