A group of young Melbourne guys living in our sparkling metropolis have a saying for women who text them hours before a date to cancel, citing how "crazy busy" they are. The guys reckon they've been "Sydneyed".

While this sort of egocentric excuse is hardly the exclusive province of Sydneysiders, there is a kind of meta-perception out there we are just a little bit more impolite and self-centred than, say, your average Melburnian. Why Warnie has not moved here full-time is an insoluble mystery.

Illustration: michaelmucci.com

Of course, there are plenty more ways to be "Sydneyed", aside from graceless dates playing the time-poor card while you're in a taxi on your way to meet them. Consider:

Pillow cases ruined by spray tan: You have breakfast together, exchange phone numbers, see her into a cab and then get around to making your bed - or stripping it, depending on the nature of hostilities. That's when you notice your flash 1000 thread-count sheets look like they've been on a guided tour of China's Terracotta warriors, smeared in something that could be clay or tandoori paste. You, sir, have been Sydneyed.