Queen to avoid Brexit chaos by applying for German passport

The Queen will be applying for a German passport in order to avoid the potentially harmful consequences of a ‘no-deal’ Brexit according to a Buckingham Palace spokesman.

Palace press attaché Brigadier Tarquin Ftang-Ftang Ponsonby-Psmythe (the second ‘P’ is silent) said that “As one knows, the Queen has German ancestry, which allows her to apply for a German passport so that she may remain an EU citizen.

“She is particularly concerned that a ‘no-deal’ Brexit will not allow her to park the royal yacht ‘HMS Yachty McYachtface’ at her favourite European watering holes such as St. Tropez and Rotterdam.

“By obtaining a German passport the Queen will be able to continue to holiday in style at the British tax-payers expense, without having to queue or apply for any visas.

Upon gaining German citizenship Her Majesty also intends to become Empress of Germany and march upon Britain to force the country back into the EU,” concluded the Brigadier, before adding, “The second ‘P’ is silent by the way. Don’t forget that bit.”

The Queen’s husband Prince Philip will at the same time be applying for a Greek passport thanks to his Greek ancestry, after which he intends to set up a kebab stall on Levkas.