Arnold Schwarzenegger: Dutch

Not much needs to be said here. The man was so jacked that he forwent the use of modern weaponry and fucking fought the predator with bamboo and mud and shit.

Carl Weathers: Dillon

While some might think the CIA had Dillon pushing too many pencils, it’s clear that he kept busy in the gym. I mean, the man goes out carrying two HK94s.

Jesse “The Body” Ventura: Blain

Undoubtedly the coolest character in Predator. The man’s weapon of choice was a M134 minigun — how stacked do you have to be to bring that into jungle warfare? What a goddamn sexual Tyrannosaurus.

Bill Duke: Mac

The only other character to wield the M134, Mac initiates perhaps the greatest one-sided firefight in movie history. If you give up his position, he’ll bleed ya, real quiet.

Sonny Landham: Billy

Billy is afraid of no man.