I like to vacation in the Mayan Riviera in Mexico at least once a year. It’s a land of all inclusive pampered delight. Where the food and drink is great and plenty, I can get away from work and relax with my wife. Mexico is my happy place.

So as I sit on the eating bed in the far north in a Canadian hotel, I feel calm enough to order Mexico food for dinner, I want to feel like I am in my happy place.

We are talking about emotion.. in this case when you are a fan of gaming franchises its mostly emotional between releases. Of course as a franchise gets long in tooth, the emotion ramps up.

As I eat this taco salad I realize that Canadian Mexican fast food is not what I get in Mexico…

I also realize for me the gap between Halo 4 and Halo 5 has been more like an emotional ladder resembling grief. But with a better outcome cause the only thing dead in the end is a few grunts when I fire up Halo 5.

All these classic states of grief came out and I evolved as we got me and more information on Halo 5 as it was developed at various stages after Halo 4.

Here is the official medical summary..

This following part should all be read like whispering.. like the voices in my head!

Denial and isolation

Yeah, I’ll go dark. I have heard a few notes about Halo 5. New guy Locke who’s tires got pumped with that movie Halo Nightfall. Frankly, I am not warm and fuzzy… where is Master Chief… won’t he find Cortina….? Where the hell is Lockes personality… he looks like the Old Spice guy but nowhere near as peppy! I hide from the online Halo community as I am in denial of this change.. I hide in a sleeping bed lying with Titanfall as my whore. She knows how to have a good time… but I lack the history and the story Titanfall falls short on. I’m interested in its potential.. but those memories of precious Halo choke me up.

Anger

Okay… so what the hell… Spartan Locke is the posterboy and what? He seriously is hunting the Chief? He’s not a traitor! What type of pot did they legalize I’m the Pacific North West because I won’t let this **** fly! So begins my twitter bashing of Halo 5 and its heretic like path!

And who the **** brings back Fotus armor? Come on you space rhino loving bastard!

Bargaining

If only 343 would have stated true to the unicorn like “Real Halo”

If only I had diversified my game library to not be so invested in Halo.

I pray to God. .. “They gotta make Halo 5 work or I’ll end up in a gutter playing some crap game like Destiny as I have gone insane due to 343 lack of proper Halo guidance”.

I do a rosary on the steps of my local church, which I think is actually a synagogue which has nothing to do with Mexico… that’s for sure.

This hot sauce is really hot.. serves me right for putting salsa on a salad

Depression

I play the Halo 5 beta I get picked off every 5-10 seconds like COD. I am not having fun most of the time.

I ignore the fact that during Reach beta I felt same way yet when Reach went gold I loved final version.

I have a good game and then get hammered the next 5 at a 1-4 k/d clip. This beta looks great but is killing me. I’m off the rails dejected…. its tough eating good corn tortillas in the fetal position.

Acceptance

I slowly start to pay attention to the news in community. I see glimpses of changes and more concrete information on what the game really will be like. My eyes a just to the sunlight and cheeks are dry from Halo tears.

I sit and ask.. “What did i want Halo 5 to be?” And I can’t answer.

“I want to have fun” is the only thing I can come up with after a long awkward pause.. which considering I am alone should really be awkward, but sounds good and dramatic when one reads it.

News of the massive forge and clearer news that req points won’t hurt old school gametypes show promise.

Finally I accept that Halo 5 is it’s own thing.

I accept that different things are being tried and balance with old.

I accept that the days of Halo 3 heyday matchmaking is gone and it’s unfair to compare to anything else.

I accept that I have forever lost my CQB, but the recruit gear looks good.

I also accept that eating nachos after the salad has made these chips way too soggy

I accept I am actually ready and eager to play Halo 5.

I accept I have the need for a churro however…

My name is Gagnon 30, and I’m a Haloholic….