It’s been 27 days since I found that unassuming lump in my breast, fuck you cancer, goddammit –hmm, can you tell I may be slightly bitter about losing my boobs. I realize the cancer is only in one boob and choice to remove both is completely mine~but seriously ladies if given the choice, to remove both boobs or just cancer tit? Let’s do both and squelch any surprise returns from cancer trying to steal that second boob.

Boom. In 15 days I’ll be prepped for surgery. Again, normal everyday shit for these superhuman people who’ve dedicated themselves to the betterment of their fellow human. Goddammit, yay on you guys! I love you, really! Here doctors are fighting cancer’s and and bad shit in our bodies and I’m trying to eradicate assholism. Their work may be a bit more important at the mo…

Why did I develop cancer?

Environmental Factors

Hereditary Factors

Self-Induced Human Actions

Deodorants

Bra under wires

Diet

I’ve been a beer drinking vegetarian for over 20 years. Most of my foods are non-gmo’s, healthy & full of grains and shit. And the beer, well that’s protein & fortified….considered to be a completely balanced meal by many of my drunken Scott/Irish ancestors….and it’s not my liver, it’s my breast.

Again, I’m not angry at the world or the big guy some of you are so fondly of, I understand shit happens in life. No woe is me shit. I have cancer am and coming to grips with it. I also have a miserable fucking case of utter-sads & shit. I’m still in the adjustment period of the cancer news 14 days ago. Shit happens. Life is good at times. Life can be cunt-punched at others.

So cancer, where did you come from? Why did you attack my boob? Thank you for attacking my boob and sparing a child- robbing their childhood because of cancer…..So, given that perspective, I’d much rather lose a couple of boobs if a little guy is spared his time and can enjoy being a child just a moment longer.

Once the tumors are analyzed, my family and I will have more answers-as the hows & why’s.

Thank you for reading this and shit. [And I know I need help with flow and cohesion and shit, I’m open to you editor/grammar-nazi’s to give me a few pointers.] *Also looking for one of my bril graphic designer friends help me with a badboob logo.

peace, love & root-beer floats

#badboob

#badbadfuckingboob

