"""The following is a list of HTTP status codes with plain-English descriptions of what they mean. It's intended to be used by helpful people in the /r/shakespeare subreddit to help me come up with Shakespeare quotations appropriate to the status codes.

"""

200 OK -- All went well, and everything is right with the world...in terms of your attempt to access my webpage.

201 Created -- You just added something to my webpage, but I let you because I don't mind.

202 Processing -- I'm thinking about what you're trying to do with my webpage, so hang in there. I might end up saying no or just never making a decision, but I might say yes.

203 Non-Authoritative Information -- I had to pass your request on to a colleague or boss, and they said everything's fine, but I changed the exact wording of what they said and am sending you my wording.

204 No Content -- It's okay to ask for that, but I ain't givin' nothin' to you.

205 Reset Content -- Same as 204, but to ask again you have to start over from scratch.

206 Partial Content -- Sorry I sent you only part of what you wanted, but something screwed up, so here's the rest of it.

207 Multi-Status -- I guess your request is okay with me, but my answer is still...complicated. I have to be wordy.

226 IM Used -- Well, I know you didn't ask me to, but I added a dash of cumin and cayenne to the soup you ordered from me.

300 Multiple Choices -- There's different parts to what you're asking for, and I have to know which one of them you want, so ask again and be more specific.

301 Moved Permanently -- That's not my department. You need to talk to Dave in Regional Pooch-Screwing. Here's his number.

302 Moved -- I'm really supposed to use 303 See Other or 307 Temporary Redirect, but I'm either not very bright or out of date in my procedures.

303 See Other -- Kind of like 301 but Dave might not keep carriage of these kinds of things and I could have to send you to Sue in Municipal Cat-Gutting next time. Here's Dave's number for now, but you'll have to call him yourself.

304 Not Modified -- I already sent you that last time and nothing's different about what I'd be sending you this time, so I ain't sendin' you nuthin' this time. Move along and, if you want to see if anything has changed, ask again later.

305 Use Proxy -- Let me put on my Santa costume and come down your chimney before you ask me for that. (NOTE: Many browsers refuse to process this response for security reasons--"Santa" could help himself to your cookies and other valuables.)

306 Switch Proxy -- My grocery clerk buddy Fred will dress up as a cop and then "educate" you on criminal law. (NOTE: This response is no longer used.)

307 Temporary Redirect -- Just a moment while I transfer your call. Feel free to call the same number next time and I'll transfer you again.

308 Permanent Redirect -- Like 301 and 302, but you have to ask them for the exact same thing as you asked me for.

400 Bad Request -- Sorry, but we don't do that around here--or there's no such person at this company.

401 Unauthorized -- Usually means that you need to provide some evidence of your identity before I'll talk to you, but can mean that you tried to be naughty before and aren't allowed to talk to me at all any more.

402 Payment Required -- At Google, this means "I gave you enough free stuff and now you have to give me money before I give you anything else." Stripe uses it as part of processing credit card numbers. Most don't use it at all.

403 Forbidden -- No. Just no.

404 Not Found -- I don't have that right now, but you can ask again later and I might have it.

405 Method Not Allowed -- I don't do that kind of thing AT ALL.

406 Not Acceptable -- You asked for the Turkish-language translation but I speak only Urdu.

407 Proxy Authentication Required -- No, because you have to prove your identity to my buddy Janice while she's dressed up as me.

408 Request Timeout -- Thank you for waiting as long as you humanly could, and I completely understand that you just couldn't wait any longer and hung up.

409 Conflict -- Sorry, there are too many things going on at once, and I'm confused, so I'm turning away from you.

410 Gone -- Tedward no longer works here. Don't ask for him again because he's not getting rehired.

411 Length Required -- I need to know how many slices of bacon you want before I can serve you bacon, so you ain't gettin' no bacon.

412 Precondition Required -- I'm not qualified to do that, so no.

413 Payload Too Large -- I don't have time to read this thick binder you handed me telling me what you want, so you ain't gettin' nuthin'.

414 URI Too Long -- You need to be less wordy when you're asking for just one darn thing from me. Ask better next time.

415 Unsupported Media Type -- Thank you for contacting the Consulate of Italy. We regret to inform you that Italy has no banana crop, so we are unable to satisfy your request to import bananas from our nation's producers.

416 Range Not Satisfiable -- You're asking for a part of something that doesn't have that part, so no.

417 Expectation Failed -- That would violate the law of gravity, and I've never studied law, so no.

418 I'm a teapot -- (Joke response code that shouldn't be used, but Google uses it for data called Easter Eggs.)

421 Misdirected Request -- I'm sorry that somebody told you that Regional Dog-Screwing does that, but we simply don't.

422 Unprocessable Entity -- Okay, I understand the English language, but not that particular arrangement of English language words.

423 Locked -- That's off-limits to everybody.

424 Failed Dependency -- We can't give you your Dog-Screwing Certificate because you failed to provide us with the required Cat-Gutting Certificate.

426 Upgrade Required -- I used to understand Cockney, but now I understand only the King's English, and you're speaking in Cockney, so no.

428 Precondition Required -- Oh, Beth in Goose Goosing fills out that form for you, so just sign the blank form and we'll take care of everything.

429 Too Many Requests -- I have things to do other than talk to you, so go away now.

431 Request Header Field Too Large -- You filled out the part of the form that says For Office Use Only, so we can't process the form.

451 Unavailable For Legal Reasons -- If I gave you that I could get sued, so no.

501 Internal Server Error -- I don't really know what's going on here, but the long and short of it is that I can't give you what you asked for.

501 Not Implemented -- Well, it looks like we could start doing that someday, but we don't do it right now. Sorry.

502 Bad Gateway -- I'm supposed to get that for you from my barista friend Julie while she's dressed up as a priest, but Julie forgot her priest outfit at home, so no.

503 Service Unavailable -- Sorry, we're closed right now.

504 Gateway Timeout -- Julie must be tied up right now and I can't wait for her any longer, so no.

505 HTTP Version Not Supported -- I need that written in pen, and you wrote it in pencil, so no.

506 Variant Also Negotiates -- This food order says that the ham should be cooked in the way you cook ham. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, so no.

507 Insufficient Storage -- Sorry, but there's no room in our warehouse for as much goods as you're delivering.

508 Loop Detected -- You're talking in circles and could keep talking forever, but I don't have that much time, so no.

510 Not Extended -- That's not specific enough, so no.