Line 250: (5:55:48 PM) the_mittani: oh man

Line 251: (5:56:02 PM) the_mittani: i was running an errand and holy shit the twitter trolling

Line 660: (7:53:01 PM) the_mittani: at this rate they're taking a system of note at the rate of 2 a week

Line 661: (7:53:18 PM) the_mittani: so sometime in september they'll have dek

Line 662: (7:53:38 PM) the_mittani: however at this point more and more of the bads are declaring victory over us and leaving the theatre

Line 665: (7:53:51 PM) the_mittani: they've barely hit towers

Line 666: (7:54:11 PM) the_mittani: it's basically banging pots and pans at us screaming 'why aren't you cascading whyyyyy'

Line 669: (7:54:28 PM) the_mittani: because this shit cascaded them

Line 687: (7:57:07 PM) the_mittani: by 'there are no goons' they've pretty much declared 'war on drugs', they've gotta find a victory lap/extraction from afgoonistan

Line 781: (8:38:16 PM) the_mittani: they make this too easy

Line 784: (8:38:35 PM) the_mittani: if they just stopped raging out, they wouldn't be providing hour-by-hour proof of why we're contesting them in this way

Line 790: (8:39:00 PM) the_mittani: and dudes here would be going 'is it working' and actually questioning my leadership

Line 793: (8:39:15 PM) the_mittani: as opposed to just a fountain of fucking tears all over the net

Line 801: (8:40:22 PM) the_mittani: if people questioned my leadership or this strategy, the goonhammer could not be forged ;p

Line 806: (8:40:47 PM) the_mittani: war is a force that gives us meaning

Line 811: (8:41:18 PM) the_mittani: the only reason gsf doesn't eat itself at peace is because i'm a tyrant and :commissar:

Line 813: (8:41:33 PM) the_mittani: however we will know no peace for years now

Line 814: (8:41:37 PM) the_mittani: the situation is excellent

Line 816: (8:41:53 PM) the_mittani: it makes them so mad that we're not bashful and defeated, too

Line 818: (8:42:21 PM) the_mittani: some people you can't convince by argument, only action

Line 820: (8:42:50 PM) the_mittani: the people who think we should feed fleets into a woodchipper instead of delay/deny/destroy are the guys that get your military broken from pointless losses

Line 825: (8:43:15 PM) the_mittani: that's the thing, romantic notions of going down in a blaze of glory are great until you pointlessly expend your fleet strength for nothing

Line 831: (8:44:01 PM) the_mittani: in a scorched earth defense you have the people who actually want their space back and the blaze-of-glory, 'i quit' types

Line 833: (8:44:19 PM) the_mittani: we not only will take our shit back but we will see the doom of all these fucks

Line 844: (8:44:51 PM) the_mittani: and that means preserving our fleet in being while we chip idiots off their coalition using meta, dilpo, scheming etc

Line 851: (8:46:02 PM) the_mittani: oh this is a thing

Line 852: (8:46:03 PM) the_mittani: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fleet_in_being

Line 854: (8:46:19 PM) the_mittani: so yeah you don't lead in a defensive war for the 'fall on my sword in glorious battle' guys, who will always be unhappy

Line 860: (8:46:32 PM) the_mittani: in a defensive war you lead for the dudes who see a future and you get them to that future

Line 867: (8:47:02 PM) the_mittani: you know in the fountain war how test threw their whole fleet away at 6vdt even though the war was lost?

Line 870: (8:47:29 PM) the_mittani: after 6vdt test did nothing for almost two years until sapporo finally got them together in wicked creek

Line 876: (8:47:51 PM) the_mittani: war is over when you stop fighting and give up, RA taught us this

Line 879: (8:48:23 PM) the_mittani: so yeah there's some dudes who are mad we're not suiciding fleets pointlessly and bankrupting ourselves with expensive doctrins

Line 881: (8:48:36 PM) the_mittani: that's because we've got bitches to kill and space to take

Line 883: (8:48:58 PM) the_mittani: we have a warchest just for this reason

Line 886: (8:49:10 PM) the_mittani: actually the vcbee analogy isn't bad from a north vietnam perspective

Line 905: (8:51:45 PM) the_mittani: oh the 'my ratting carrier was ganked so all gsf are traitors'

Line 907: (8:52:01 PM) the_mittani: the dude who tantrumed out in alliance chat while we were nuking lemba

Line 909: (8:53:00 PM) the_mittani: we're gonna hold sov, always, however after this no one will really put roots down outside of lowsec/npc stations - and i mean not just gsf but anyone, period

Line 912: (8:53:18 PM) the_mittani: this is the 'wow, sovholding stagers is suicide' eureka moment for much of eve

Line 914: (8:53:31 PM) the_mittani: ccp is not enjoying our situation at all

Line 920: (8:54:10 PM) the_mittani: because they wanted to send out a bunch of press releases about massive incoming battles to hype the war, which would mostly feed dudes into horde as we were pitched as the bad guys

Line 923: (8:54:23 PM) the_mittani: therefore we slammed the vulnfuck (drink) into place and put the brakes on it entirely

Line 931: (8:55:01 PM) the_mittani: 'welcome to playing eve online, you're fighting the cruelest empire imaginable, now sovlaser and suffer while being randomly ganked by swordfleets or bombers'

Line 936: (8:55:15 PM) the_mittani: suzy_rc_mudstone: nope

Line 937: (8:55:22 PM) the_mittani: that's not wise and here's why

Line 943: (8:55:40 PM) the_mittani: so in dominion war you can't blueball without a hard blueball, ie where the punting side does zilch

Line 947: (8:55:49 PM) the_mittani: nah this is actually a key question so gonna realtalk a bit

Line 952: (8:56:37 PM) the_mittani: so the worst aspect of fizzlesov is the timewasting afk gameplay of sovlasering. due to the distributed node system (aka whack-a-mole) fizzlesov allows us to 'blueball' while still entertaining our guys, and massively adding to the frustration of the enemy

Line 958: (8:57:24 PM) the_mittani: thus sword/siegefleets: we have fun, everything slows way down even more than an empty sov-lasering, their hackers eat shit (and only 2% of players seem to be willing to sovlaser for each side, like flying link-boats, so the more that 2% loses sovlaser ships the less they want to do it)

Line 962: (8:57:49 PM) the_mittani: suzy_rc_mudstone: if you think they're satisfied after reading r/eve you and i see human nature very differently

Line 963: (8:58:00 PM) the_mittani: i don't see satisfaction, i see hate, frustration, and screeching

Line 1021: (9:02:23 PM) the_mittani: my food came, sorry

Line 1024: (9:02:37 PM) the_mittani: ok so i have some more stuff there

Line 1026: (9:02:48 PM) the_mittani: basically think like you're vietcong

Line 1032: (9:03:35 PM) the_mittani: so let's say we know that ~2% of eve players are willing to sovlaser. it particularly sucks if you die undefended because when the sovlaser activates you're stuck

Line 1037: (9:04:52 PM) the_mittani: so the enemy has overwhelming numbers in eu/us, and that's why you move it to 7:00 vuln; sov must be taken by sovlaser and if the enemy only has 400 dudes active at 7:00 eve, suddenly you have 8 guys instead of a shitload more at eu/us prime

Line 1038: (9:05:28 PM) the_mittani: those eight dudes are getting nuked over and over by the spaceghosts on defense because at ghost-time, they can't really guard their hackers, just spread them out and hope

Line 1039: (9:05:57 PM) the_mittani: so the 'man this is fun' level is going down for the few doing the sovlasering, meanwhile our defenders are getting guaranteed kills with very little risk and lots of fun

Line 1047: (9:06:48 PM) the_mittani: if you did it the other way, and just not defend at all, their sovlaser guys are bored but they can roll the region. you serve those guys up on a platter for our guys to have fun, conquering takes a million times longer and is a hellish, will-breaking slog for the foe

Line 1049: (9:07:08 PM) the_mittani: they used carriers yesterday because it was the big zomg ya0 capture op

Line 1051: (9:07:27 PM) the_mittani: they're also weekend warriors, so they'll do a huge hurf push fri/sat and bang more pots and pans and take a couple of systems

Line 1055: (9:07:49 PM) the_mittani: those entosis carriers in other times also die horribly to siegefleets - 100 bombers melt a carrier entosising in 60 seconds

Line 1070: (9:08:09 PM) the_mittani: so meanwhile our guys in siegefleet are not merely shooting pos, they're ganking caps and giggling

Line 1073: (9:08:17 PM) the_mittani: our guys in swordfleets are zooming around cackling

Line 1075: (9:08:33 PM) the_mittani: tohrazer_hextech: yeah undock games are dumb as shit

Line 1078: (9:08:58 PM) the_mittani: anyway suzy_rc_mudstone it's a lot harder to 'take everything' when it's asymmetrically defended

Line 1084: (9:09:33 PM) the_mittani: because this war is not going at all like they planned and desired, it's no fun for them, we're growing and not breakign, our warchest isn't being wasted, our caps and supers are secure (barring randos being dumb), etc

Line 1092: (9:10:17 PM) the_mittani: meanwhile bits of their coalition are going 'ok guys we only read reddit, we totally won now, bye'

Line 1094: (9:10:27 PM) the_mittani: suzy_rc_mudstone: that moment was a week ago

Line 1100: (9:10:45 PM) the_mittani: since shock and bawwww didn't work they're mired in afgoonistan

Line 1106: (9:11:19 PM) the_mittani: the other thing is that the enemy is socially inept - this means that every angry reddit post shows a pain point for us to exploit

Line 1117: (9:11:55 PM) the_mittani: so we get constant feedback for those in gsf who are hypersocial (diplos, spies, politicians, scammers) to adjust the precise nature of the torture device we've designed for them

Line 1123: (9:12:07 PM) the_mittani: plus it shows our line instant feedback about how this is working

Line 1128: (9:12:27 PM) the_mittani: that's why they're spinning their wheels

Line 1133: (9:12:50 PM) the_mittani: they've got 60+ dudes going to fanfest beginning what, six days from now flights from the us will head to reyk

Line 1136: (9:12:59 PM) the_mittani: they're gonna have to find a way to declare victory and fuck off

Line 1143: (9:13:34 PM) the_mittani: anyway knar and Innominate have been through the time we did this very same thing to bob at the start of the great war

Line 1147: (9:13:49 PM) the_mittani: i gotta eat dinner but ask the s-u8a4 og crew how this shit goes down

Line 1149: (9:13:58 PM) the_mittani: this is so much easier yeah

Line 1156: (9:14:22 PM) the_mittani: every prediction i've made in timescale has been wrong, i've assumed it would take a month before their coalition began to break up and infght

Line 1161: (9:14:44 PM) the_mittani: these summer children who play eve due to 'this is eve' or reading about br-5 have a very, very compressed sense of time

Line 1173: (9:15:12 PM) the_mittani: like oh my god a war for three weeks now

Line 1179: (9:15:23 PM) the_mittani: we camped ted for 7 days in s-u

Line 1182: (9:15:29 PM) the_mittani: we camped pr- for 30

Line 1189: (9:15:54 PM) the_mittani: suzy_rc_mudstone: well duh, free space, as long as the bads were convinced we couldn't be killed it was like owning five extra regions

Line 1195: (9:16:12 PM) the_mittani: 'floodplain regions'

Line 1199: (9:16:21 PM) the_mittani: suzy_rc_mudstone: same bitches, different decade

Line 1204: (9:16:29 PM) the_mittani: we've been pushing these people's shit in since july 2006

Line 1217: (9:16:56 PM) the_mittani: the fun thing about hellwar is the satisfaction that comes from loathing your foe, not merely shooting them

Line 1221: (9:17:10 PM) the_mittani: so when they scream and cascade you appreciate the tears so much more because you truly despise them

Line 1227: (9:17:28 PM) the_mittani: there is nothing, nothing like creating a cascade in a hated foe during a hellwar

Line 1233: (9:18:04 PM) the_mittani: anyhoo we've literally been doing this for a decade (nerd trap) so if you see the oldschool great war crew in elysium here smugging, that's an indication

Line 1249: (9:19:01 PM) the_mittani: there are no oldschool goons in goonswarm

Line 1254: (9:19:11 PM) the_mittani: sayeth endie, who wasn't in syndicate

Line 1255: (9:19:12 PM) the_mittani: lawl

Line 1266: (9:19:44 PM) the_mittani: i fucking love the pl fuckgoons guys on the sa thread bitching about 'why are you using a 40k gimmick that's so lame ugh, no true goon'

Line 1279: (9:20:18 PM) the_mittani: i remember dreiden_kisada

Line 1287: (9:20:43 PM) the_mittani: the 40k analogy works pretty well even now because you essentially have space marine dreadnaughts beign woken from their ancient slumber

Line 1298: (9:21:25 PM) the_mittani: 40k is the theme of hellwar

Line 1299: (9:21:27 PM) the_mittani: this has always been so

Line 1301: (9:21:31 PM) the_mittani: it is the way of our people

Line 1302: (9:21:33 PM) the_mittani: http://www.nockergeek.net/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/templars_dreadnought.jpg

Line 1303: (9:21:38 PM) the_mittani: ^ is knar

Line 1451: (9:42:31 PM) the_mittani: oh no they're concerned for me on reddit

Line 1452: (9:42:35 PM) the_mittani: noooo

Line 1453: (9:42:36 PM) the_mittani: lawl

Line 1463: (9:46:13 PM) the_mittani: r/eve logic: "grrr mittani never logs in" -> "ban mittani that will ruin gsf", "grr mittani wallowing in pleasure, trust fund babby" -> "concerned as he's poor and will have to work at burger king"

Line 1514: (9:59:16 PM) the_mittani: oooh

Line 1515: (9:59:24 PM) the_mittani: watching now pacify_via_cyno

Line 2154: (12:29:01 AM) the_mittani: that and the eve-onion tweet, hvacs was better

Line 2155: (12:29:06 AM) the_mittani: but god damn they're so thirsty

Line 2162: (12:30:08 AM) the_mittani: Nina Blaze: is compiling the kill bill list

Line 2164: (12:30:23 AM) the_mittani: so i think he's got it, there's so many of the little fucks we had to make the list so we know who to cross off it

Line 2220: (1:32:46 AM) the_mittani: we'll get it out in a bit, in the meantime scam or something ;p

Line 2222: (1:33:08 AM) the_mittani: with the weird fcon stuff the defense of dek in the short term is a dodgy thing

Line 2376: (3:11:54 AM) the_mittani: oh man that's glorious

Line 2377: (3:11:57 AM) the_mittani: good catch rain6637

Line 2378: (3:14:53 AM) the_mittani: https://twitter.com/TheMittani/status/720510499075530753 voila

Line 2487: (12/15/2015 7:06:12 PM) the_mittani has set the topic to: Goonswarm Directorate Chillzone / AAD for the lazy - http://www.themittanibot.lol/ org structure crap here: https://goonfleet.com/index.php/topic/142592-directorate-structure/ | New AAD Forum Rules - https://goo.gl/7DOM8y

Line 3732: (12/15/2015 7:06:12 PM) the_mittani has set the topic to: Goonswarm Directorate Chillzone / AAD for the lazy - http://www.themittanibot.lol/ org structure crap here: https://goonfleet.com/index.php/topic/142592-directorate-structure/ | New AAD Forum Rules - https://goo.gl/7DOM8y

Line 3761: (11:58:51 AM) the_mittani: think that happens when you swap alliances automatically

Line 3762: (11:59:02 AM) the_mittani: ps welcome aboard kyt_thrace

Line 3823: (12:20:53 PM) the_mittani: i need to chart how many hitlers/second i'm trending at today

Line 3838: (12:23:41 PM) the_mittani: another day, another 'failed to eat sov wheaties in deklein' sitrep from ghosttime

Line 3842: (12:23:51 PM) the_mittani: they've been vulnfucked so hard it's amazing

Line 3859: (12:29:10 PM) the_mittani: ahahhahaahaha

Line 3860: (12:29:18 PM) the_mittani: The Mittani insults the greater EVE community with his contemptuous attitude to the game, its creators, even geek culture itself. He insults his audience, his employees, and his partners with his toy-empire approach to business and pseudo-intellectual thinking and rhetoric. He has lead his people to ridicule and ruin, but most importantly, he has violated one of their own cardinal rules with his own narcissism and self-interest. Like the ignoble artificial intelligence from the Iain M. Banks novels, GCU Grey Area, which broke one of the few taboos the Culture had, the most scathing judgement comes from his peers. It could be exemplified in a single word and apt title when we ask ourselves: is The Mittani a Goonfucker?

Line 3867: (12:29:54 PM) the_mittani: compare that

Line 3868: (12:29:58 PM) the_mittani: to the map of deklein

Line 3869: (12:30:10 PM) the_mittani: and ask yourselves if the strategy is working~

Line 3931: (12:38:19 PM) the_mittani: well azkar they don't seem to want to take our space now that ghosts are defending it

Line 3936: (12:38:58 PM) the_mittani: they took the regions we ditched to consolidate, and now that we're consolidating they just want to whine on r/eve WHY AREN'T YOU ADMITTING DEFEAT while spaceghosts make actually taking our sov a nightmare

Line 3942: (12:41:24 PM) the_mittani: i offer our people not peace and pleasure (well, ok, we do throw wild parties) but struggle, sacrifice, war, and goddamned geysers of rage from buttblasted pissbabbys

Line 3947: (12:41:57 PM) the_mittani: the dude who wrote that article on cz?

Line 3948: (12:42:00 PM) the_mittani: that's a pissbabby

Line 3958: (12:43:36 PM) the_mittani: baculus_orden: yep

Line 3959: (12:43:48 PM) the_mittani: pretty much anyone who wants to play with the ghosts can join, it's a squad after all, not a sig

Line 3960: (12:44:13 PM) the_mittani: once it's more hardened it'll probably tighten the squad membership up a bit, just like spaceviolence did

Line 3962: (12:44:31 PM) the_mittani: but it's a new squad so step one is to let folks try it out, then discipline things later

Line 3990: (12:46:38 PM) the_mittani: nothing in this world produces more excuses than a traitor

Line 3994: (12:46:54 PM) the_mittani: like lemba i expect him to spend the next three weeks loudly justifying his shit to anyone

Line 4011: (12:49:46 PM) the_mittani: if they scream enough about how i'm awful, there will be an election and goonswarm will implode

Line 4013: (12:49:54 PM) the_mittani: and someone who respects r/eve can take over~

Line 4015: (12:50:02 PM) the_mittani: http://evemaps.dotlan.net/alliance/Goonswarm_Federation oh wait

Line 4025: (12:51:12 PM) the_mittani: tohrazer_hextech: we're not losing our minds at all

Line 4027: (12:51:25 PM) the_mittani: they enemy is freaking out that we're enjoying this so much