Well, I did it. I don't know why I did it. But I did. I made Bike 2. Before you read any further, let me just say: I'm so, so sorry.

Download Link

Windows only, sorry folks.

http://gamejolt.com/games/arcade/bike-2/44946/

What

So, I thought it would be a kind of funny and novel thing to actually make a small game out of Jeff's "Bike 2" idea from the GOTY skit. I got a laugh out of the idea, and so here we are. It started as a little jam I did over a couple days during my New Year holiday, but due to my own stupidity and hubris ended up going an extra couple of weeks, with me squeezing in some work on it when I could. Let me be frank. This game has weird physics wonkiness, poor design, lazy sound effects, and is just lacking many of the niceties you would expect from any game, really. You can't even view the hi scores unless you get a hi score. Speaking of the hi scores, when I made the default computer scores, I just started at 1000 and worked my way up. I don't even know if they correspond at all to the scores you can get in the game! It's messed up, guys. Still, my delirium has driven me to finish it and put it out into the poor unknowing public.

How to play

There are kind of instructions in the game. However, the instructions fail to mention a number of things. I mean, scoring isn't explained at all. At the end of the day, it isn't too complicated, it's basically an excitebike clone. Hold and release spacebar to jump, use the arrow keys to rotate, and land back in the same position. There's a fast drop. You can also land on the back or front wheel to do some special stuff. Doing flips will give you points. Getting gold will get you points. You also get a time bonus. Don't get hit by the scorpions. You guys can figure it out.

GB Member Participation

I don't if you saw the thread I posted last weekend, where I prompted you all for your initials. Well, turns out I wasn't just selling your information to third parties. If you were one of the first 8 people to respond, you're initials are on the hi score board as the default computer scores. Congrats! Your names have been forever immortalized in this train-wreck. Also, I have to mention, if you go back to that thread, you can spot some foreshadowing I did. I wonder if anybody caught it...

Epilogue / Apology

I'm sorry for unleashing this monster upon the world. I'm sorry for taking a good joke entirely too far, and then further. I'm sorry for almost creating a half-decent game, and then not spending enough time on it to actually give it justice. I'm sorry for plaguing it with usability issues. I'm sorry you can't view the hi scores from anywhere other then the end of the game (I know, terrible!). I'm sorry for making the scorpions such assholes. I'm sorry for overusing italics in this post. Most of all, I'm sorry for dragging you all into the event horizon of this dark nightmare with me.

Please god, forgive my sins.