Yves mission is to help women attract positive relationships by establishing personal parameters and greater self-worth.

Many women are confused and frustrated about men and dating....and they don’t know why. Here is my take on this malaise: At one time, men were the hunters and women were the gatherers. On an intuitive level, this essence is still alive today. However, since the advent of the sixties sexual revolution, American cultural standards have shifted.

Men and women are exhibiting somewhat androgynous behavior. It is now becoming politically incorrect to make distinctions between men and women. Mind you, not everyone believes men and women are exactly the same, but some do. Thus, the distinctions between the sexes are blurred. America's sexual revolution has created confusion about the relational roles between males and females.

Consequently, there is a whole lot of friction going on in the world of dating.

For example, in recent decades, women have begun hunting and gathering for the male, so to speak. Traditional romantic roles are going by the wayside. Society has inadvertently produced a new male prototype who has become adept at not putting in the time and effort to pursue a woman who truly interests him---the way men used to do.

Such men are convinced that it is perfectly fine for him to be "a gatherer," but the problem is, women are not natural "hunters." Nevertheless, because women are ever the adapters, they have chosen to compensate for the rise of the culturally androgynous male, aka, the "male gatherer." She has now assumed his previous role---that of protector and provider.

Who is the male gatherer? He is the male who claims to have embraced equality, but who actually doesn't respect women all that much. You've come across him. He is the guy who let's the women come to him. He does not pursue women. He lives solely for his own pleasure. His take is, "If women want equal rights, let her prove herself to me."

The 1960s Cultural Movement

The 1960s cultural movement had good intentions and some positive outcomes. However, the sexual revolution has failed us in the area of love, romance and commitment. Unfortunately, too many American men have morphed into something we did not foresee coming----the "gatherer," who is not adept at committing, pursuing or providing.

Herein lies the crux of the matter: Feminists had the right idea about wanting more equality, as in equal pay, but they got a little side-tracked by the free love thing. What they didn't realize is that most men are more than happy to accept the "No Strings Attached" philosophy of "free love." His philosophy goes something like this: "If we live together, I will enjoy the convenience of having a quasi-wife, but without any messy responsibilities or financial risk."

The male gatherer is into "low stress" relationships. In the event he should decide a woman with whom he is co-habitating doesn't meet his needs after all, he has no problem leaving. His reasons? "She was too much trouble. Who needs the drama?"

Meanwhile, he takes pleasure in having sex on a regular basis. Gratification with no commitment and no repercussions---that's his motto.

Yet sadly, women offer themselves up to the male gatherer, even though he has lost his instinct for honest romance and true commitment. Courting women isn't part of the gatherers' paradigm. He believes relationships should be easy and uncomplicated. Easy come, easy go. His expectations do not mirror the truth, which is that anything worth having requires time and effort to have.

Thus, having experienced disappointment in dating for the umpteenth time, many women carry around a perpetual cloud of frustration and anger. Nevertheless, not wanting to appear passive, women continue the hunt.

“We have to go after guys," they insist. "If we wait, nothing happens." "What choice do we have?"

Women who feel this way have a point, but their premise is wrong. She has another choice. She can let the man seek her. Here’s the thing. Women actually like having the man pursue her. His effort shows her he has a level of interest. She finds his pursuit of her hot and efficient - sort of like the engine of a BMW.

But the gatherer guy....well...he lacks drive. He's a Ford Pinto, or maybe a Volkswagen bus. The easy love thing works for him, but it isn't working for her. Apparently, easy love isn't so easy after all. Unwed mothers who struggle to raise their children without father's know this better than anyone. Unfortunately, the children get the raw end of the deal.

Percentage of Single Mothers Who are Hispanic Single mothers who are White Single Mothers Who are Black Single Mothers Who are American Indian Single Mothers Who are Asian & Pacific Islander 42% 25% 66% 52% 16%

Tired single mother.

What Needs to Happen

So what's a woman to do? First, she must learn to recognize the male gatherer. She must then stop throwing herself at his feet. Forever. Male gatherer guy does not have the inclination or the stamina for true romance women crave. He always leaves women feeling emotionally shortchanged. Why? Because he is, in fact, emotionally stunted. Chances are high that he didn't have a father to teach him the responsibilities of manhood.

In any event, any woman who truly wants an emotionally satisfying relationship with a man must first decide to place more value on her worth, her time, her career and her passions. In so doing, she changes her own perspective about the value of her life. Women must realize that meeting a great guy is icing on the cake. Icing is delicious; it can make a lovely difference---but it is still optional.

Women Have to Step Up Their Game as Well

She must learn to appreciate her womanhood and everything that being a woman entails, to include embracing her femininity. She doesn't have to become a man to be "equal." We are all equal by virtue of our humanity.

I knew a man who was a former hippie. He was highly educated, but the gatherer/hippie mentality never really left him. Anyway, he told me that he had lived in a commune where he really enjoyed his life. He talked about how fun it was to get naked and paint women's bodies. This, I gathered, was a type of foreplay. He went on to say that the only disagreeable aspect of commune life was that the women were, "Really messed up."

I guess so. Having multiple partners, not knowing who the father of your child is, and whether or not your lover(s) even remembered you from the day or night before would make any woman "a mess." The dirty little secret about the free love men of the 60's is that they were rampant chauvinists. They made love, smoked pot, quoted Nietzsche, Karl Marx, and existential poetry. They didn't do much else.

Meanwhile, the woman cooked, cleaned, scrabbled for food and even made herself available to other lovers at the request of her "main man." You know, equal love and all that. It's no wonder these women were so "messed up."

Meet the New Boss: Same As the Old Boss

The point is, male gatherers of the 1960's sexual revolution got used to the perks of free love. Not hard to comprehend. The problem we have today is that many men are content to view women in the same disrespectful manner as did the hippies back then. Unfortunately, women are still falling for gatherers. The problem however, is that when the going gets rough, because gatherer guy believes "she has too many expectations that don't match with my idea of fairness," it is all too easy for him to walk away. His feeling is, "I'll go my way and she can go her way."

To be sure, not all men act that badly, and I am not at all making that assertion. What I am saying is that our permissive society has created the "male gatherer" who does not understand why love and commitment actually matter. He thinks what matters is his freedom. After all, no one taught him how to respect women. His frustrated mom was probably working all of the time, and good ole' dad was MIA. Maybe his mom even lost the values she once had. Thus, the male gatherer had no positive role models to teach him what it means to become a grown-up. Consequently, he remains self-serving his entire life.

Common Reasons Why Men Don't Commit

Males can get sex without marriage more easily than in times past

Males can enjoy the benefits of having a wife by cohabiting rather than marrying

Men want to avoid divorce and its financial risks

Men fear that marriage will require too many changes and compromises

Males face few social pressures to marry

~Rutgers University's National Marriage Project

"Cohabiting men tend to be less committed to the relationship." — The Negative Effects of Cohabitation, Linda J. Waite

Shifting Focus

So naturally, it behooves the woman to shift her focus toward worthwhile men who actually enjoy pursuing a woman, who exhibit patience and caring, and who are willing to ignore the trend that presupposes men and women are exactly the same in every way.

Men and women are not exactly the same. Our bodies are different, our brains are wired differently, we communicate differently, we have different mannerisms, and in some cases, we have unique needs. But the male gatherer would have you believe this cannot be true, as that would not be fair or equal for him.

Long story short, women must become adept at letting the male gatherer go. In other words, she must learn to pare down the dating field. The smart woman values herself far too much to waste her time on a man who treats her as if she is worthless.

Finally, women must learn to become responsible for all the bad romantic choices she has made. She absolutely must take personal responsibility for her poor decisions; only then will she be able to turn her life around and thus begin to let go of the anger and frustration she had carried before. She will now be in a position to proactively guide her dating life in a manner that will finally allow her to experience true love and romance---the kind that has purpose, meaning, and staying power.

Confidence is sexy!

The smart woman does not play hard to get---she is hard to get. Let me explain. Playing hard to get suggests that a woman feigns disinterest in a man to whom she is attracted. Being hard to get has to do with the psyche of a woman who is selective about the kind of men she chooses to date in the first place.

Once a woman has determined she is interested in someone, she is free to capture his attention. However, she does this with care. She does not rush into a situation without first finding out what she is getting into. She learns to make better choices, always with long term consequences in mind. She becomes a more responsible and thoughtful woman.

A Word About Communication

Communication is a good thing, but some ladies mistakenly believe they must open up about every single thing that has ever happened to them "because that is only fair and honest." But the truth is, there is no reason for any woman or man to reveal everything about their feelings or their past relationships, in the beginning stages of dating.

We must open up at our own pace. In so doing, we are respecting our parameters and sense of privacy---and this is as it should be. A secure partner will respect your need to share your life stories at your own pace. In fact, no one really has to reveal anything that isn't relevant to the current situation. On the other hand, excessive secrecy in any individual is a red flag.

Dating: An Art

A woman who is thoroughly uncomplicated and too eager to please will not attract the love of a man who has the masculine fiber women crave. Her confidence as a woman, combined with her feminine spirit, is the magnet that consistently attracts truly good men her way. The woman who knows how to date well is very much at ease with her femininity. A worthwhile man will readily pursue a woman like her, but he is easily bored with a woman who does not provide him with any challenges whatsoever. A good man isn't looking for a doormat to walk over. The worthwhile man respects a woman who has backbone. Only gatherer's hate being challenged.

Positive dating also recognizes and appreciates the core differences between men and women. In truth, regardless of our cultural leanings, it's actually quite pleasurable to embrace the distinctions between male and female, rather than constantly fighting against them or, worse yet, attempting to act like the opposite gender. Masculine and feminine traits actually complement one another quite nicely---sort of like two pieces of a puzzle.

From now on, let the male gatherer do whatever he wants to do, just so long as he isn't doing it with you. Your responsibility as a woman is to turn your attention toward the man who shows you that he cares---through his actions. Listen to your woman's heart and mind. Only then will you be assured of love that will stand the test of time.

Truly.....Yves

Questions & Answers

Question: Why are most women nowadays very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, greedy, picky, think they're all that, narcissists, gold diggers, and very money hungry as well, when they were never like this at all in the old days?

Answer: My advice to you is to stop watching trash TV and to stop listening to the advice from men's forums that denigrate all women. Reality television is in the business of making rating thru sensationalism. Maury Povich and Jerry Springer began these trends. To this day, they are popular with college (frat) boys as well as uneducated young men and women. Do you really want to be associated with people like that? As for most men's forums, they feed off of confused young boys or older divorced men who are bitter and who have chosen to blame all women for their problems, rather than taking responsibility for their own issues.

Anyway, my point is that the women you describe are not the majority. For the record, global estimates published by WHO indicate that approximately "1 in 3 women worldwide have experienced either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence in their lifetime." I wish these women would have learned to be "picky" and "independent." You might want to think about that the next time you make broad assumptions about all women.

Question: Why is MGTOW growing at such a rapid pace today?

Answer: The reason young men turn to MGTOW is because of 1) Depression; 2) Social isolation and the feeling that they are unable to participate in romantic relationships, usually due to shyness or insecurity; 3) Fear of rejection and in turn, acceptance from a community of men who offer camaraderie.

But, unfortunately, the camaraderie comes with a price. If you do not agree with their precepts (that all women are whores) then you will be shamed by them. And so out of fear, young men tow the line until they become even more depressed and finally find a way out. (Sometimes they never find a way out, having swallowed the anti-woman koolaid and secondly, because they have developed a serious addiction to porn, in which case it becomes impossible for them to have any kind of relationship with a woman even if they wanted one. So what these men really need is good medical care and an understanding therapist, not MGTOW.

I do not know how rapidly MGTOW is growing, but they have developed a presence due to their online activity. The important thing for you to know is that not all men feel as you are currently feeling and not all women are as MGTOW would have you believe. The world has never been that black and white and it will never be. Their version of the world is skewed and based upon hate. I hope you will discover the truth about love and life before it is too late.

Question: I routinely take 6-9 months of casual interaction with someone before I make up my heart about whether or not I want to be in a relationship with them. However, my counterparts seem to take these exchanges as some form of "dating", and have commented that I am "too hard", "too difficult to know". Why is it the case when I have never openly expressed any sort of romantic interest whatsoever?

Answer: I am not sure what you mean by casual interaction. Are you doing the things that dating people do, such as going out to dinner, etc., having sex and planning trips together? If so, that sounds like dating to me. When you say you have not expressed any romantic interest whatsoever, does that mean you never say romantic things, like 'I love you' or never indicate the two of you could have a future, or have you perhaps indicated that things might possibly change after six to nine months?

It sounds as though you may not have been clear enough. You need to tell them, 'We are dating casually.' I am not interested in a relationship.' 'I enjoy your company, but that is as far as it goes.' If you say all of that, and he or she still wants to 'non-date' you, then the onus is on them to settle for a casual relationship that is not particularly meaningful, but which may provide some fun and something to do to pass the time.

To answer your question, if they say you are 'too difficult to know, or 'too hard' that tells me they are not clear about the situation. Again, if you indicate that things might change after nine months, then naturally, some die-hard types will stick it out to the bitter end in the hope that things might change.

Consequently, you must tell them clearly you are not committed and then let them choose what to do next. As an aside, you are in a relationship, just not in a committed one.... it is strictly casual. Just tell them that.

Question: What does it mean to pursue a woman?

Answer: Unfortunately, the word "pursue" may have negative connotations in today's world. One definition of pursuing, in reference to a person, is "to continue or proceed along (a path or route)." In my article, I reference the type of man (not all men) who allow the woman to pursue him. In essence, he does nothing at all to participate in dating. He lets the woman come to him; he uses her and when he's done with her, he switches over to the next woman who chases after him.

Because he has no skin in the game, nothing really matters to him. He's like the guy at the bus stop, waiting for the next bus to come along. He'll hop on and off at will, but has no attachment either way. However, if he had taken the time to pursue her along a respectful path, he would feel more invested in the relationship. He would then be treating a woman as a person with value, rather than as a temporary receptacle for his convenience. He would have then pursued her properly.

Question: Why is MGTOW a very smart way to go for so many of us single men?

Answer: Your question infers that MGTOW is a smart "way to go." Thus, your premise is flawed. The question should be, "Is MGTOW a smart lifestyle? I would say that in 98% of cases or more, MGTOW is definitely not a smart practice, especially for men who have never married, had children or even dated much. Followers of the movement are in need of a panacea for their bitterness... But in fact, most followers of the movement fail to acknowledge their underlying problems having to do with insecurity and the fear of rejection. What he may not realize is that everyone feels insecure from time to time.

But along comes MGTOW, which gives confused males permission to forgo having to "grow up" and do some self-reflection. They teach men to forgo women and have sex via computer or to "work-out" and get the type of body they think women want..... so that they can then attract women for sex. What a pathetic way to live one's life. MGTOW, in nearly all cases, is not a smart philosophy. It only causes males to become more self-loathing and even more dependent upon computer sex. He ultimately projects his anger upon all women because he cannot have a relationship with someone who is real.

Question: Why are most women very stuck up with a very bad attitude problem these days?

Answer: Sometimes younger women, who have been spoiled in the home or within their social circles, do act rather badly. This is because they haven't matured, never having had to take much responsibility, if any, for their horrible behavior at home or even within their social circles. In other words, their negative behavior has been rewarded. Nobody bothered to call them out for acting like spoiled brats. Instead, their parents "caved" and bought them something to keep them quiet, which is, of course, bad parenting.

Furthermore, their friends always laughed whenever she said something rude about other people. It's what I refer to as the mean-girl syndrome. Anyway, the girl (and sometimes the boy) is basically stuck in a child-like mentality.

The other problem is that it is very easy to be rude online. There are no consequences for the awful person because they are hidden behind a screen. (In general, we are not as brave when we are face to face.) Social media has changed the way we socialize, and oftentimes the influences can be negative.

Long story short, if you've been polite and a girl is not, forget about her and move on. Nobody needs to date or even interact with someone who acts like a spoiled toddler.

Question: I'm about to graduate from college, I have never dated or had a girlfriend. I'm a pretty upbeat and outgoing guy, but the more I'm rejected, the more my confidence drops. Since lacking that same confidence is a turn-off, each rejection makes it harder to ask the next girl out. I'm worried that it's starting to make me depressed. At what point do I stop trying?

Answer: Good question. I can understand your discouragement. I guess that you may need to refine your social skills a bit. For example, if you feel awkward, it could be you come off that way. Sometimes we have to "fake it till we make it" by acting more confident than we feel. It's also possible you need a man make-over. You'd be surprised how much a good haircut, cool clothing, and good shoes will make you feel.

Whatever you do, don't ever give up asking women out. There is someone out there for you. If you have to slow it down for a time while you learn how to be more comfortable in your own skin, then so be it.

You might want to take a karate class, or something along those lines, to help give you the boost of confidence you need. Whatever you do, stand with your shoulders back and go tackle this thing. You can do it!

Question: How do you explain that it is the woman who initiates the divorce filings around three-fourths of the time if she's the one who can stay committed?

Answer: A woman tends to be more monogamous, in general, but in today's world, she will break a commitment rather easily. She believes she has more options today. But sometimes, this belief can be a stumbling block if she wants to build a happy marriage. That being said, if a woman is suffering at the hands of a physically and/or emotionally abusive husband, she should ask for a divorce. In other cases, I do believe that expectations about marriage are unrealistic. Unfortunately, some women will seek a divorce merely because she feels as though she has "lost herself." Dumb reason. She needs counseling, not a divorce. In other cases, the couple believed in a fairy tale, only to find out that fairy tales don't exist. Hence, another divorce. If a woman grows up believing that "she can have it all" she is likely to be let down.

Communication, respect, shared values, sacrifice and compromise will create and solidify a lasting marriage. Both partners have to be ready to have the other person's back. In today's world of "me" "me" "me" on the part of both men and women, happiness in marriage is not a given. Couples who have learned that marriage is not "one big romantic party" have a greater chance of making things work for the long term. Unfortunately, too many women are taught they can "have it all" even though no one really can. There is no such thing as having everything we want. We all need to learn that in order for marriage to survive.

Nevertheless, there are still some realistic, balanced and genuinely happy people out there, but they're not easy to find because we have changed as a society. Thus, we do not always use our common sense to see the big picture, so to speak.. However, once we decide to grow up, learn the true meaning of partnership, and become more realistic, we can then sustain a good, solid, satisfying marriage.

Question: Did you take in the fact that men stopped chasing women because of being called out for sexual harassment when theorizing why women are frustrated and confused about men and dating?

Answer: If a man sexually harasses a woman, he should be called out. However, the majority of females are not going to hold a man legally accountable for harassment, which is why men who hate women have had free reign to act badly. But times have changed, and women feel a tiny bit more emboldened to report sexual abuse.

The average Joe, who is looking to date a woman, is not going to stop dating over this one issue. However, he will stop dating if he has been rejected continuously.

In most dating scenarios, all the man has to do is ask the woman if she wants intimacy now (if he feels that sex is now an option). If she says, "Yes," he's good to go. But if she says, "No" she means it. That means it is time for the male to either slow down or move on.

But to specifically address your question, it is more difficult these days for men who simply want to give a woman (they are interested in) a nice compliment. He wonders, "Should I say something nice about the way she looks, or should I keep it to myself." The answer is this: If she is in the workplace, say nothing beyond a polite exchange which has NOTHING to do with her looks. If you are dating, then, by all means, feel free to say something nice about her appearance.

But do I think men stop dating for that reason alone? The answer is "No." Most men who stop dating have been burned by divorce; chances are, they lost half of their assets and maybe the respect of their children. For these men, women are no longer worth the risk. They've become embittered for life, and they falsely believe that all women are horrible. And so, they resort to using women who are easy, or they hire prostitutes or rely on porn. Such men lead sad, angry lives---all because of an experience they may have brought upon themselves. In some cases, however, he may truly have married the wrong woman.

Question: Isn't this the way women, feminists, wanted it? We have equality. Women can and have done anything a man can. They are now the hunters. Let them hunt.

Answer: The MALE "feminists" of the 1970's very much "wanted it" this way. Free love and all that. But, in fact, those male feminists were chauvinists who allowed women to hunt (for food) and cook and have babies....as long as he called the shots. In that respect, very little has changed.....so what are you complaining about? You might want to review your history.

Question: How can men be the "hunter" while dating in this day and age?

Answer: Think of dating as an intricate dance. She either decides to accept your lead, believing that your goal is to care about her, or she doesn't. (That is not to say that a woman should not show her interest in you. In fact, she most certainly can and should.)

If you, as a man, spend too much time thinking about the legal ramifications of asking a woman out on a date, you're going to miss out on life. Most women don't want to ruin your life. Almost always, she wants love and fidelity as much as you do. In fact, usually more so! Your goal is to work on yourself so that, if necessary, you can recognize "red flags" in others before you become emotionally involved with a woman who isn't right for you.

Question: What about men who have been wronged, hurt, betrayed, physically abused, and more? Do they not deserve a good woman? They usually stop "hunting."

Answer: Anyone who has been physically abused will certainly "have their walls up." Generally, such people are too giving and trusting in the face of "red flags." If anything, they need serious counseling to discover why they keep attracting abusers and what they can do differently to attract higher quality individuals. Some men do stop hunting, at least for a time. However, quitting the "hunt" for life is not a solution to their problems. Recognizing warning signs of bad behavior is the far superior course to take.

Yes, men have been wronged, hurt and betrayed, and so have many women. That does not mean we stop dating for life, although it may be wise to stop dating for a time in order to reassess our values and our methods for finding love. Once we get a handle on things, we can find great satisfaction with the right person.

It comes down to learning to be honest with ourselves and why it is we keep attracting bad partners. Things will change dramatically once we change the things that are off base on the inside. When we come to really like ourselves, we won't put up with people who abuse us. It simply won't be an option anymore.

Question: Why has feminism really destroyed the dating scene for many of us single men today seriously looking for a relationship today?

Answer: That's a rather broad assumption. The reality is that most people are dating and marrying and figuring things out as they go along, just as we always have. The only difference is that "back in the day" we had very specific courting rituals. We don't have those anymore, and so now we may flounder a bit. But generally speaking, if we use our common sense, we'll know how to proceed when dating.

When men complain about feminism, they are really complaining about hard-line feminism, or misandry, much like women complain about misogynists (who have been around much, much longer.....and with whom we've had to deal with since the beginning of time, so spare me the pity party about women having it easier than men). Anyhoo, hard-line feminists comprise a small section society. Academia comprises about 1.7% of the population in the United States. Unfortunately, they do garner quite a lot of influence in the media and politics. However, most women you meet are not like them. The typical woman who may identify as a feminist is generally someone who believes in equal pay and opportunity, but nothing radical. Most women you meet are not hard-line feminists, unless you run in those circles. Furthermore, the women you are referring to are easily identifiable because they'll tell you who they are. They'll go on and on about reproductive rights, etc. etc. They hate the Miss America Pageant. They probably don't like much of anything. They complain a lot. Even I don't even like being around them. So, if you want your dating life to be easier and probably better (truth be told), just don't date them. Maybe then, they'll get the hint and learn that they don't have to be so defensive or act like men. Likewise, I tell women never to date a man who disrespects women or who supports any group, online or otherwise (such as MGTOW) that disrespects women. It's not that complicated.

When it comes to lasting relationships and romance, most people still value fidelity. As a society, we're in the middle, or right of center. For goodness sake, all you have to do is look around you. Most people are dating, getting engaged, getting married, and having children everyday. They don't care two cents for what 2% of academia or men's forums have to say. Both groups are at opposite ends of the spectrum, yet both spew propaganda. Don't listen to either one of them. They're a tiny percentage of the real, living population. Both narratives are not real. I'm sure you're smarter than that. Use your critical thinking skills. Look up credible statistics to discover actual truths.

If you want a relationship, you can find a relationship. You just have to be self-aware, be brave enough to put yourself out there, be a decent person and have enough savvy to recognize which women have values that will foster positive growth in a relationship. And if you don't know what that means or if you haven't developed any values yourself, then you'd better get some. Many good women exist. As I've said before, I meet them all the time. Maybe one day, you will meet someone who is just the right fit for you. But first, you have to let go of preconceived notions and have some faith.

Question: Why was it much easier for a single man to meet a good single woman years ago when today, it is very difficult for many of us men to meet a woman to have a serious relationship with?

Answer: Norms have changed. Back in the 1950s & most of the '60s, society had certain set rules for "proper" dating behavior. Now, everyone makes up the rules as they go along. Consequently, dating is very confusing. But in general, young women in their 20's are still exploring life and getting to know who they are and what they want. Subsequently, some women may be rather self-centered when they are young. However, you can still find quality women out there. I meet them in the workplace all the time, so I know they exist. If you don't like a woman's behavior, you can talk about it. Chances are she's just trying to fit in and behave like the pack. But deep down, most girls want a guy who will treat her with respect. However, to get that, she must first learn to respect herself.

Question: How does this article encourage men to marry? The feminists got what they wanted (equal pay and treatment). Yet they didn't do anything about the way divorce laws are in favor of the female taking the man's money away for life.

Answer: Actually, most women do not earn equal pay. Only a few executives and lawyers manage to do that. Also, if the woman makes more money than the man, he can potentially receive alimony. Long story short, if a woman puts, say, 25 years into a relationship, and even gives up a career to raise children, keep the house and provide for her husband's needs, then she should get compensation just like anyone who has put 25 years into a career. She has given her life, her love and her youth for a man who may have decided to trade her in for a younger model. She has every right to receive half of his retirement & assets. If you don't want a divorce, then learn how to sustain a respectful relationship for life. It is not fair for a woman to walk away with nothing, especially if she is still caring for the offspring of the marriage.

Also, men who are high earners nearly always have the woman sign a prenuptial agreement. That way, he is protected, at least to a degree. Prenups are not just for those who are wealthy. Anyone with property or assets can have a prenuptial agreement drawn up and signed. In today's world, prenups are a good idea.

Just know that marriage is good for society. In general, married people are happier than single people. People who never marry or have children tend to be much lonelier. Sometimes they even withdraw from society altogether. Also, having children, providing for them and watching them grow in their successes is very rewarding and joyful. If you choose not to marry, that is your prerogative, but in the long run, you're missing out on quite a lot of happiness, and your assets are not going to make you any less lonely. The trick is to become the right man so that you can recognize and attract a worthwhile woman. They exist. Believe me. I meet them all the time.

Question: If after 6 weeks of daily "I love you" the guy disappears and then resurfaces after making up a lie and not answering the question about a confirmed date, what should one make of it?

Answer: As they say (and in this case it is true), "Talk is cheap and actions speak louder than words." The guy is unreliable. He just wants to have fun without any responsibility. He's a player. Delete his phone number, block him, and move on. He isn't worth your precious time.

Question: The gatherers raise a valid point. What is in it for men to be in committed relationships with modern women?

Answer: Social scientists have proved popular myths about marriage wrong for 70+ years. Even today, 43% of married men claim to be very happy and fulfilled, as opposed to only 20% of single men. Marriage benefits the man because he actually becomes a higher earner as a result of the stability that marriage brings him. There is something about marriage and the willingness to sacrifice a bit which motivates the man to succeed in life for the long term.

Furthermore, married men have more sex than single men. Single men do not have regular sex because they do not have a steady partner. Also, married men report having better sex than they did when they were single and didn't necessarily put in the time to know a one-night-stand and what makes her feel good. While single, the sex tends to lack actual intimacy.

Finally, married men live about 10 years longer than single men and tend to be healthier. The reason why is because he has a spouse who reminds him to see the doctor, get his checkups, and take care of that pesky cold. She is the one who is likely to pamper him when he doesn't feel well. The single guy is on his own.

It would be helpful if less people would buy into all the nonsense you hear about on television and social media. Most single males are not tall, dark, handsome studs who can get any woman he wants. And even the handsome guy goes through dry periods because he is single and sometimes a real jerk. Thus, he's usually in-between women most of the time.

Long story short, statistics tell us that married men are still happier than single men and even happier than cohabiting men. There's something about marriage and its' sacrifices that elevates a man's life in a meaningful way.

Question: I am 33 and went on my first date in 3 years last year with a woman who ended up blocking me on Facebook. I also have not had sex or anything romantic with a woman in 3 years. How do I get a date? I'm unemployed, in debt, and miserable because I am the only one in my family who is not married and does not have a career. I need help.

Answer: There is always hope. First of all, you just have to have some faith that you can turn your life around. Go to the barber and get yourself cleaned up. Then go out and buy some appropriate interview clothes. Next, look for jobs. Even if you have to take a low paying job in the beginning, that is perfectly fine. Work is work. Once you are employed, your self-esteem will improve immensely. You'll begin to see a light at the end of the tunnel. You can then begin to get your credit in order and start a savings account. Little by little, things will look up.

Before you know it, you'll have the confidence to ask out a nice lady and begin dating again. If you feel that your social skills are not up to par, ask your family to help you self-diagnose. It could be the girl blocked you from Facebook because you were acting weird or pushy. Who knows? But I am sure she had a reason. You might also join a gym or participate in a sport. This is another way to feel happier. If you must see a counselor or a psychologist, then please do so. A good, qualified doctor can do wonders in helping you see things about yourself that are currently a mystery to you. Your life can improve. No question. It just takes time, perseverance, and a little bit of faith. Best of luck to you!

Question: Last year my sister didn't go to the prom because no boys asked her even though she's very pretty. I heard others talking about how it was all girls as the boys didn't attend. This year the boys are basically boycotting girls and a lot of them stopped talking to us. They say they are just protecting themselves. I think they are all just afraid and this is an excuse to avoid rejection. I've never had a boyfriend. Is my school's dynamic a sign of the end of male-female relationships?

Answer: If boycotting prom is a trend, I have not heard of it. The last I heard, prom is still an important night for teenagers all across America. Perhaps your school is unique for some reason. Was someone there accused of rape? Generally speaking, only a small percentage of boys are socially awkward enough to blame all young women for their emotional problems and thus, choose to avoid all social situations. Most boys want to date and form relationships. That being said, it is important for young women to be very careful about whom she chooses to spend her time with. There is a dangerous group out there called Incels; you may never run into them, but just be aware they exist. When your parents caution you about certain matters, they do it to protect you because they've been around long enough to have figured out a few things.

But at this juncture, male-female relationships are still very much alive. I work with young women who have boyfriends with whom they feel comfortable and happy; their relationships appear to be healthy and reciprocal. You will have the same, sooner than you think, but when the time is right.

If it makes you feel any better, I almost didn't get asked out to prom. In fact, I went to prom with a guy who was a friend and nothing more. So, don't worry too much. In the years after high school and especially once I reached my 20's, I dated plenty. Time is on your side.

Question: Why are most women nowadays sleeping around with different men all the time instead of committing themselves to only one man?

Answer: Before marriage, most women today want to experience life, love and sex with more than one partner. Women no longer feel constrained by societal mores to have only one partner throughout their lives. Once a woman is committed, however, she is more likely to remain monogamous than is the man. That being said, the percentage rates vary according to various factors, to include finances and even race. Frankly, it is rather disingenuous of men to complain about women wanting to experience sex with multiple partners (before marriage) when men have been doing the same thing since the beginning of time, both before marriage and after marriage.

Once a woman falls in love, she is likely to commit to just one man. However, both men and women cheat, although men still cheat more than women.

But to answer your question, women do commit once they find someone they want to spend the rest of their lives with, or when they really love their boyfriends and have a healthy relationship with him. We cannot paint all women with the same broad brush.

Question: Why is feminism really to blame for so many single men that can't meet a good woman to settle down with?

Answer: Your premise is rather broad and, as such, is flawed. However, I will say that the word "feminism" is confusing to both men and women. Feminism is supposed to signify equal opportunity. It is not supposed to signify "sameness." This is where we get tripped up. Some women might feel that they are supposed to be like men and some men come to believe they are supposed to think like women. But because men and women are naturally different, we do ourselves a disservice in trying to be like something that we are not. So, in some ways, dating has become confusing because no one knows what to think or what to expect. If we could respect our differences while understanding that we all deserve to have equal access to rights and opportunities, given our abilities, then we would be less stressed about the word "feminism" and perhaps begin to enjoy dating once again.

On the other hand, plenty of people are not worried about the word "feminism." They are simply being themselves; they're still dating; they're still getting married; they're still having children. You can do the same. It seems to get easier between ages 30 and 40 for men because experience has kicked in.

Don't give up. Lots of girls want to settle down and get married. It's just that nowadays, women might also want a career....or not. It depends upon the individual.

Question: Why should a man spend the rest of his life on guard with a person who he has to play constant power games with and can never be genuine, because it will be seen as weakness?

Answer: No man should choose to marry a woman who treats him as if he is nothing. That being said, it is not unusual for men or women to sniff out weaknesses and take advantage of them if they can. In cases like this, you have to put your foot down. For example, I dated a man who had been known as a womanizer. However, something inside me sensed that he genuinely cared for me. So I gave him a chance. If he acted like he thought he could get away with something, I put my foot down firmly, and because he didn't want to lose me, he respected my parameters. We ended up dating for four years. It turns out he was a very loving guy who just needed firm direction from a woman.

What I am trying to say is that the same tactic applies to spoiled women who play power games. All a man has to do is put his foot down. Tell her firmly what you will and will not put up with. Generally, a woman respects a man who can ultimately take charge in most of life's challenging situations. If she does not respect your parameters, just don't date her anymore. Your leaving will be a wake-up call for her, one she badly needs if she is going to sustain a happy relationship one day. Also, you don't have to be mean to her; you just have to be consistent and confident in your right to be treated like a human being. If she can't handle that, it's her loss.

Just know that good women exist. I know this for a fact.

Question: Why is it that a lot of women see men not getting married as something bad? Is it because it shows distrust of the other?

Answer: I don't know that women view men not getting married as bad, per se. When I address this topic, I speak from the perspective of social scientists who have studied the topic of marriage exhaustively. Men who are married are happier than single men for a variety of reasons. As I stated just recently in the comments section of my article, married men gain more wealth than single men because there is something about marriage which motivates him. Furthermore, the woman usually works as well, and they can combine their wealth and save for the future more easily than a single person. Married people have better sex (and more often) than single men because they have the benefit of knowing their partners likes and dislikes in the bedroom. Married men live longer, in part, because his wife sees to it that he keeps all of his doctor appointments and eats decent food. Furthermore, married men are engaged with the upbringing of their children and observing his children's' successes throughout their lives brings the man great satisfaction.

By contrast, single men may have fun when they are in their 20's, but once they're older men who may be out of shape, with thinning hair and all the rest, he's not going to attract the hot 20-something-year-old women anymore. But his wife will still love him.

I am not sure what you mean by "distrust of the other." If you are referring to cohabiting partners, the answer is yes, there is less trust between said couples because the relationship is devoid of true commitment, which can only come with marriage in nearly all cases.

Question: Why are most single women sleeping around with different men, all the time, instead of committing to only one man?

Answer: By the same token, you might ask, "Why do most single men sleep around with different women, instead of committing to one woman? In considering your question, would you say that "all men sleep around before committing?" Or would you say that men have always slept around before committing, and that's perfectly normal....Or would you say that not all men sleep around before committing to one partner?

We have to be careful about making broad generalizations. The truth is that it has always been acceptable for men to have multiple sexual partners, but (some) men bristle at the idea that women might also take pleasure in sex before committing to marriage. What matters is our reasons for choosing to engage in sexual activity. Some reasons are healthy, while others are destructive. Do you think you would act differently if you were a woman? Do you have the same sexual standards for men and women alike? If so, why? If not, why not? These are questions you would do well to consider.

Question: As a woman from a non-western background, I find that casual interactions also known as courtship (i.e enjoying eachother's company, nothing physical, nothing overtly romantic) is often devalued in favour of "dating" (i.e physical and emotional romance) from the get-go. What is your take on this phenomenon?

Answer: I would have to agree with your statement, overall. That being said, I, personally, do not rush into a physical relationship unless I want to. I prefer to take my time. Furthermore, I have found that if a man really likes me, he will wait. However, the male needs some affection, i.e., hand holding, hugs, a gentle touch on his arm or his face. Otherwise, he tends to feel insecure... or 'strung along.' The important thing is to communicate your cultural difference to him. Let him know you come from a culture where becoming overtly physical rather quickly is not the norm. Tell him it is a matter of respect. He should be able to understand that. If he doesn't, that is his problem, not yours. Find someone else to get to know who is more respectful and understanding.

In America, ever since the sexual revolution of the 60's, sexual norms have changed. It is commonplace for dating partners to have sex early on, but that does not mean you or anyone else has to make the same choice as most people. I respect that you prefer to wait and I personally think you are smart to do so. Try not to worry too much. Things have a way of working out once we communicate our feelings and believe we can have what we need.

Question: The percentage of single mothers that show is approximately 160%. Why do you exclude Asians? Perhaps you could make the total of single women closer to 200%? Why didn't you include them?

Answer: The percentage of single mothers who are Asian & Pacific Islander is at 16%. I had not included them because their number is relatively low. However, I have updated the site to include Asians. These statistics came directly from Kids Count Data Center.

Question: What rights do men have that women don’t?

Answer: Long story short, Congress passed the Equal Rights Amendment in 1972. However, not all states have ratified the legislation. Ratification is needed to include the Amendment in the Constitution. The reason why a handful of states have not ratified the ERA is because they believe the amendment is too permissive in that it could create a society of "abortion on demand." So, in essence, activists are still trying to get the Amendment ratified by every state. Personally, I would never protest for "abortion on demand."

Also, while American women generally have equal rights, in many cases they still do not receive equal pay, particularly in middle America.

Question: Why is it very dangerous for many of us single men to start a normal conversation with a woman that we would really love to meet because of sexual harassment?

Answer: I would advise you to spend less time reading propaganda from online men's forums and more time witnessing everyday interactions between people, to include men and women. If you live your life in fear of what might happen if you talk to a female, you will never have the opportunity to become a fully capable human being. Do you want to live the rest of your life like that? If you do, you are guaranteed a lifetime of loneliness. Men's forums will tell you that your life is doomed because of feminism and that all women are out to get you. That's nonsense. Men and women are equally at risk for getting hurt sometimes. Yes, bad things have happened to some people, but that is no reason to stop living life.

Don't believe everything you hear online. Most of it is highly exaggerated. Instead, take a risk and begin living life like most people do. Just don't do anything foolish and you'll be fine 99 percent of the time. Just don't ever say anything sexual or act like a jerk. It is time for you to make some normal friends. Who knows? You might even meet a girl who shares your interests like the majority of men have done and continue to do, whether they are good looking or not. And by the way, only 3% of the population is really good looking. The rest are average. If you don't believe me, step outside and look around you. Average guys get girlfriends too. All you have to do is look at engaged or married couples to figure that out.

But first, you have to stop living in a bubble. If you don't have any confidence right now, you might consider taking a karate or judo class which seeks to develop the character and esteem of students. I recommend you try that or similar discipline as your first step.

Question: Why was it very easy for a man to find love in the old days?

Answer: Dating "back in the day" was different because we had very defined expectations about what is proper behavior and what is not. Today, everyone is making up the rules as we go along. Consequently, dating is confusing because nobody knows what to expect. Most women want to find love (eventually) and settle down with one man and raise a family. But it's easier said than done as it isn't always easy to find a nice man if you're a nice girl. Likewise, nice guys have a hard time finding girls who excite them, yet who are "nice."

Give it time. Love is still alive, even in today's "modern" world.

Question: Why do so many single women like living alone when there are so many of us single men that really hate being alone and really want a very serious relationship?

Answer: You might want to define "single women living alone." Yes, females between (ages) 18 to 25 are generally fine with living alone, particularly if they are building their careers.... the same way men have always done throughout the ages. Women have the opportunity to develop careers, but that has nothing to do with a desire to "remain alone." In fact, most young women look forward to having a family. In today's world, very few couples are privileged enough, i.e., have enough money and resources to raise a family on one income alone. But.... that is beside the point. If a woman has the wherewithal and the opportunity to gain an education and a career, she should move in that direction if she so desires. Again, that has nothing to do with wanting to "live alone."

If you meet a smart woman who delays having a family until she has, at the very least, completed her education or vocational training, you should thank your lucky stars. Such women value stability.

© 2012 Yves

RubyRedRR on August 03, 2020:

For those of us who hate online dating it's going to be a looooong lonely time.

Can't get a date when you can't meet new people. I went from zero guys approaching(except the ubiquitous players and creepers who seem to not be deterred by anything) to guys litteraly keeping a six foot distance.

Yves (author) on July 29, 2020:

I'm not so sure. I think young people are largely unafraid of getting deathly ill from Covid-19. If they are healthy, their symptoms tend to be non-life threatening and rather mild.... from what I have learned thus far.

No one ever stopped dating forever due to any other virus. The young people I know continue to date. They wear their masks and they get tested.

The pandemic really isn't going to stop anyone from dating who wants to date, but it is a convenient excuse for those who have already given up and would rather stay home and watch porn..... sorry to say..

The fear isn't from the pandemic so much as it is from a fear of rejection. Both men and women experience rejection all the time. It is an unfortunate part of life, but that is no excuse to hide in the basement forever. FYI: I am not referring to you or all men and women... but only a small misguided percentage.

I appreciate your input, MG Singh.

MG Singh emge from Singapore on July 28, 2020:

This is a nice article but statistics can be interpreted in any way. Overall I feel the present pandemic is going to bring a sea change in dating between men and women. The fear of contracting the virus is going to be an inhibiting effect and is not going to go away for quite some time or maybe never. Women by nature are more sentimental than men and that is the crux of the issue, that won't go away and could lead to heartbreak.

Yves (author) on July 28, 2020:

Tolatenow..... Perhaps a viewpoint for you and your inner circle, but plenty of people are seeking intimate relationships, dating, and still getting married every day. However, younger people are delaying marriage and some date casually.... as in "hanging out" and nothing more. But I come across plenty of young people your age, all the time, who are happily involved in romantic relationships, Covid or not.

Relationships are not beyond repair. However, the attack upon the nuclear family has created a rift which is a significant societal problem due to many factors.... but that is another complicated story.

Tolatenow on July 28, 2020:

Maybe it’s a good thing, as a number of post I’ve read state . Relationships between men and women in the USA are broken beyond repair. I completely agree, maybe covid19 will keep us separated for a few years then the next generation might be able to reach a more equitable society.

Until then I’m with he majority of men my age (23) when I say .. let’s just be friends.. online friends that never meet lol

Yves (author) on July 27, 2020:

Hello RubyRed..... It is important to have empathy, but if it makes you feel any better, a worldwide (Yes...an all over the world) survey was taken of 70,000 women regarding what they find desirable in a man. Looks and wealth were nowhere near the top of the list.

At the top of the list was kindness. In fact, most women actually preferred men who were somewhat average-ish. Women in their mid 30's and up even prefer men with "Dad-bods" So, a lot of the hype about money and looks is self imposed.... primarily due to media and false advertising on commercials for men's products.

Every time I see a commercial advertising male sexual performance products, I can't help but grimace. Frankly, most women don't want that enormous thing coming at them every minute. (Thus, the preference for "average")

2nd or 3rd on the list, as I recall, was the ability to communicate, hence, a certain amount of intelligence.

Mostly, women want a decent guy who will treat a woman with respect. Looks and money are secondary. Those are the facts.

Hang in there. This Covid thing will be behind us in due time. I have been working throughout the pandemic. Still healthy as can be.... knock on wood.

Thanks for stopping by and continue to do well in your studies!

RubyRedRR on July 27, 2020:

Back on this thread, got the covid19 lockdown blues. I got so desperate for human contact I logged into plenty of fish..

While the attention I get from all the guys is nice ( and a tremendous ego boost) I don't have any interest in meeting anyone online. School starts up in two weeks, my brother's are all ready to go but I'm terrified my gym teacher died a few weeks ago from it at 43.

It was hard enough trying to date ( I litteraly threw a donut at a guy a few months ago caus I know likes me he just won't ask me out. )

Why men are so brave (careless) with their own safety but terrified of simply asking a girl on a date.

Again , I think we women really underestimate how much social pressure men experience, to have money, height, looks, etc in a society that spent the last two decades tearing them down and telling them they are worse than useless.

I can read the resentment, the self hate, the sadness in this thread and it makes my cry.

Yves (author) on May 27, 2020:

Hello BCream..... Thank you for your apt response....."Hate is destructive but love is productive."

Well said, indeed. Many thanks.

BCream on May 26, 2020:

Thanks YVes and no problem. Anything we can do as a community to eliminate political/social gender wars and promote appreciation and understanding towards one another will create happy and lasting relationships. Hate is destructive but love is productive.

Yves (author) on May 14, 2020:

B Cream..... My bad. I see that you said " I did not say let's have sex, I said I find her attractive and desirable."

I agree that there is nothing wrong with those words. I appreciate your pointing out my slip-up.

BCream on May 13, 2020:

YVes - My advice to you is you should read comments twice before you respond, some of the questions you ask back are already answered in my comment. Secondly your judgement is very much one sided. If you read my comment again, I have said there are questions she asked me which made me felt uncomfortable but I let her express herself anyway. You should not pretend someone who you are not, as long as you are polite and respectful.

But you are saying is men are supposed to suppress their feelings and play by the rules women have set, that is very unfair and definitely far from being equal. If that is how most women think then I can see I am probably never going to have a meaningful relationship, but I am optimistic that there are women who are WILLING to understand men and their feelings and not just all about their own feelings alone.

Yves (author) on May 13, 2020:

MG Singh... I agree that men view sex as a reward. I do not judge them for that. However, women in love or in lust do not relate to the word 'reward.' Reward connotes services rendered... and that is not okay with your average woman.

B Cream.... I do not know how you expressed your desire for the woman. If you came right out and said you would like to have sex with her as opposed to "Let's have sex," naturally, any decent woman would reject a man who speaks that way as soon as a 2nd date. It is best to keep your sexual feelings to yourself. All women KNOW men want to have sex even if you do not say "Let's have sex.". That's a given. If you say so, you come off as quite odd, to say the least.

You may want to take things slowly and keep your musings to yourself. Women already know what men want. They can read your body language quite easily.

BCream on May 12, 2020:

Hi MG Singh and Yves, just so I am clear, if we are promoting equality, we should not say sex is a reward for one gender alone. It should be viewed as a mutually beneficial pleasure. Men should understand and respect women's NEED for commitment and women should respect and understand mens NEED for sex, neither should judge each other negatively for their NEEDs.

One women rejected me this past week because I expressed my desire for her after the 2nd date. I did not say let's have sex, I said I find her attractive and desirable. She said it was too soon to expressed those feelings. While everything else was going well and we had things in common, this was a huge turn off for her. While I tolerated lot of her unusual questions, I was not allowed to express my feelings, which I thought was unfair. While rejection hurts, I feel much happier that it was not a good match, because who knows what else would have turned her off after the next date, lol.

MG Singh emge from Singapore on May 10, 2020:

It is a very complex topic and one can argue both ways. One fact is that sex has for centuries been a reward for man. It's changed somewhat during the last 5/6 decades but this concept haven't gone overboard comletely. I have been dating for so many years but there is no concept of platonic dating.

Yves (author) on May 09, 2020:

Hello B.... I would never imply that sex is a primary reward for men. Anyone who thinks that about any of my articles is highly mistaken. Women are so much more than that.

BCream on May 08, 2020:

hi Yves - I did not mean women only want men for money, that is an incorrect interpretation. I am saying women are biologically wired to find a man who can provide and commit while sex is not the priority or emphasis. In fact most women are turned off by bringing sex in the initial conversations, unless SMV of the man is proven to be the highest possible for her.

Simply put women can get sex from almost any man and men can get commitment from almost any woman in the context of romantic relationship. Each gender is hypergamous in that sense that they will provide what other needs (sex vs commitment) when the they are convinced thats the best possible SMV man/woman they can get. I am off an opinion that because women are now making their own money, man's ability/need to provide has reduced hence he is less desirable. I as a man have more work to do on becoming attractive and desirable and increase their SMV. I hope this makes sense.

As far for my comment regarding accountability, especially responsibility, what I meant was nothing in your article tells women they should bring to the table where as there is a long list what men must bring in order to attention of a woman, that is quite one sided. Also your blog project sex as primary reward only for men, sex should be a reward for both genders.

Also there was one error in the original comment, SME should be read as SMV (Sexual Market Value). But let's continue the respectful and meaningful dialog to help understand instead of blaming each other if we truly want to see more love and lasting unions. Thank you!

Yves (author) on May 06, 2020:

Hello B,

You may not have read my paragraph in which I stated, "Finally, women must learn to become responsible for all the bad romantic choices she has made. She absolutely must take personal responsibility for her poor decisions; only then will she be able to turn her life around and thus begin to let go of the anger and frustration she had carried before."

I also stated that not all men act as gatherers. As I've mentioned to others' before, this article identifies one type of man, not all men.

Furthermore, you'd be surprised at the number of women who still pay a man's way, whether they have money to spare or not.

I disagree with your current logic about women not needing men or only wanting men who make money. If you look around, most couples are working together to build a life. These people are your average, everyday people, who still want marriage, kids and all that comes with it.

Thank you for commenting. I agree that men and women must learn to be more respectful of one another.

BCream on May 05, 2020:

hi YVes - I am a man and I read this blog twice and I have some feedback.I think you started out really good by stating the feminist revolution is mainly cause of the androgynous gender roles and breaking of the family unions.

Now I understand that your targeted audience is women, however in my opinion you are doing them a disservice by largely shifting the blame onto men. Apart from telling women to be classy and hard to get, I do not see any accountability, responsibility or appreciation advises given to them to keep the men around. Furthermore I think you have also largely misunderstood the male sexuality, hence I would like to bring in some basics.

In the context of romance, attraction beings primarily based on the opposite genders sexual market value (SME).

Women's SME is judged by their looks while men's SME is judged by their social status, nature created/evolved us this way.

The attraction eventually may turn into love/commitment by togetherness and compatibility, but SME is the stepping stone.

Now the nature has designed us both men and women hypergamous and we tend to find a mate who's SME is greater than us, this applies to both men and women. Also man's primary need is sex while womans primary need is commitment, this is probably due to the physiological disparity that is men produces high sperm while women only 1 egg per month 9 months pregnancy. Lastly, you typically fall in love with people when they do something nice for you, again applies to both genders.

Good men will appreciate, provide and protect women who provide them what they need and men's primal need is food and sex, everything else they do it themselves.

All that said, as an effect of feminist revolution and women coming to workforce, men's SME has diminished in the sense now average man is less desirable to an average woman.

His need to provide and protect is no longer needed, hence average women are finding only very high social status men attractive. The problem over there is that those men are emotionally unavailable and cannot commit due to the higher supply of women (men's need is sex not commitment), many dating companies have shown these trends.

Now put all that this together, in today's world we are becoming more and more equal and being equal means self sufficient, each gender pretty much can do what the other can.

We cannot depend on each other for our needs and hence it is hard to appreciate one another and hence hard to find a fulfilling relationship. Gender movements such as feminists and MGTOW are further adding more fuel into the fire (sometimes for political/monetary gain). I am sorry to say but your blog is also written in the same divisive tone.

What we need is to motivate men and women to help understand one another and encourage them to provide what each other seeks and not further divide them by shifting the blame on one gender alone.

Yves (author) on January 11, 2020:

A lovely response, Mr. NM. Thank you for that. :)

Yves (author) on January 11, 2020:

Of course, wb108, my friend.

Mr NM on January 11, 2020:

Thank you, wba108. It looks like I did the same by projecting my own struggles in my response without considering the context of your post as Yves has kindly pointed out.

It seems we all have our struggles. I wish you the best on your journey.

wba108@yahoo.com from upstate, NY on January 11, 2020:

Yves - Thank you for your kind words.

Yves (author) on January 11, 2020:

wba108.... You've a good heart.

wba108@yahoo.com from upstate, NY on January 11, 2020:

Mr NM - You're of course quite correct, the statement was harsh and not qualified like it should have been. I'm in a season of prayer and fasting at my church and I was surely projecting my own issues into the post.

There are surely a host of other reasons for not connecting emotionally with your significant other.

Yves (author) on January 11, 2020:

Hello Mr. NM..... Given the context. wba108 may have been speaking specifically of male gatherers or men who use women. You have stated that you are not part of that group. However, wba can speak for himself if he reads this post. However, not all followers read every comment on every article they follow. It is rather time consuming to do so.

I hear you and appreciate your restraint, having myself ended many relationships prematurely when men began falling in love too quickly; If I suspected I could not reciprocate those feelings, I would break things off to spare their feelings down the road.

However, sometimes, just sometimes, (though not often) one must take a chance on cultivating a loving relationship if we think the other person is strong enough....

That being said, you have stated you know your limitations. That seems reasonable to me.

Mr NM on January 11, 2020:

I would like to respond to wba108's last point on his comment: "If the man isn't able to emotionally connect, he's selfish, weak and broken."

I think that this assessment is a bit harsh given that all human beings strive for connection. We are social beings by nature after all. Even someone like myself can recognize that.

That being said, would I consider myself to be weak and broken for not being able to emotionally connect with others? To be honest, there have been times when I did. However, I have had plenty of time to reflect on my situation and came to the realization that the insight and skills I have gained from being self-dependent have been a huge positive in my life. The fact of the matter is, you shouldn't be emotionally dependent on anyone but yourself. That's how you establish a fulfilling life. So that has definitely been a blessing for me.

Now, would I consider myself to be selfish for this? That's a resounding NO. I can't speak for other men, but when I say I don't string women along, I mean I don't play with their emotions, I don't use them for personal gratification, I remove myself from the equation. I do this because I know my limitations. That's a strength in it of itself considering that it comes at the expense of lifelong companionship. That's on me though.

Expecting others to fulfill certain needs for us is flawed because it comes with the notion that we have control over factors outside of ourselves. The only control we have is over ourselves. This includes how we think, feel, and act. Which also means not putting others down who are not able to fulfill our needs or connect with us. That's on us, not them.

Yves (author) on January 10, 2020:

Hello wba108......Thank you for your sage comment, "The man here is employing the devil's strategy, of confusing their adversary to manipulate them." So true. In fact, the strategy of confusion is the favorite tactic of all expert manipulators, no matter the cause or agenda.

As for transgenders, I do not know enough about them to say what is going on in their minds or if their is some mental wiring aberration or component involved in their confusion or choices (in some cases) as I am not familiar with the medical research. But I do know that the push of some parents to force children not to identify as their gender when in fact those children are "perfectly happy" with their gender is alarming and harmful. Even schools are teaching children "other" gender "so-called" education when all a kid wants to do is be normal, play with friends and learn basic history, math, reading and writing.

But I digress. Thank you for being a man who loves the Lord and who respects women. Good to have you drop by, my friend.

wba108@yahoo.com from upstate, NY on January 10, 2020:

"It is now becoming politically incorrect to make distinctions between men and women. Mind you, not everyone believes men and women are exactly the same, but some do. Thus, the distinctions between the sexes are blurred. America's sexual revolution has created confusion about the relational roles between males and females."

A strategy of the devil is to confuse our identity, this is what the devil did when Jesus was led into the desert to be tested. Satan wanted to lead Jesus into sin by casting doubt on His identity (IF YOU ARE THE SON OF GOD turn these stones into bread) He knows that our actions will ultimately follow who we believe we are. This is also behind the enemy's strategy in the transgender movement, confusing your adversary is a common battle strategy.

" His take is, "If women want equal rights, let her prove herself to me."

The man here is employing the devil's strategy, of confusing their adversary to manipulate them.

"First, she must learn to recognize the male gatherer. She must then stop throwing herself at his feet. Forever. Male gatherer guy does not have the inclination or the stamina for true romance women crave. He always leaves women feeling emotionally shortchanged. Why? Because he is, in fact, emotionally stunted."

Terrific insight! If the man isn't able to emotionally connect, he's selfish, weak and broken.

Yves (author) on January 07, 2020:

Thank you, Mr. NM. By the way, your English is excellent. Your pain will likely be with you always. It sounds as though you have found a way to manage it as best you can. I congratulate you for that.

Mr NM on January 07, 2020:

Thank you. I would also like to add that I don't identify with any of the groups mentioned in the videos or in the comments section. I am my own thinker who likes to take pieces of important information and see how best to apply it to my life. That being said, please disregard the toxicity in the comments on these videos as they take away from the value of the message.

I would also like you to know that the information you have provided in this article is invaluable to my growth as a person. I appreciate it very much. Please continue to do what you are doing.

Yves (author) on January 06, 2020:

Mr. NM...... I was interested in your comment. I've not viewed the videos you recommended. I may do so in time. That being said, I am already familiar with some of the authors..... and certainly aware of the film...

Nevertheless, I felt your comment warranted consideration because of your personal experiences, which I know can change one's perspective on many levels. The following is your comment, without the videos:

"I hope you had a great New Year's and are doing well. Thank you in advance for affording me an opportunity to post this comment on your article as it is rather rare to be able to respond directly to the author. It is much appreciated. Also, forgive me for any misspellings as English is my second language.

First, I would like to start by thanking you for sharing your thoughts regarding the topic that you brought up. This is all very new to me as I don't have a lot of personal experience (rather none actually) when it comes to intimate relationships. I do know strong bonds as I have formed many over the years with some of my closest friends. Unfortunately, I have lost most of my family and friends in the war prior to emigrating to the U.S. In fact, most of my childhood years were spent moving from place to place trying to keep one step ahead of the conflict. I've witnessed many horrors and traumatic events that have significantly altered my view of life and what it means to be a human being. I hope you don't mind, but I don't want to share where I am from as I don't want this to turn into a political post.

I do, however, think that sharing my personal experiences is important as it provides some clarity as to where I am coming from in terms of my beliefs and values. We all have biases that are shaped through our experiences after all. In any case, I'll keep things short, so I can start addressing some of the points you made in your article.

Your take on the male gatherer is an interesting one. You strike me as a traditionalist (I could be wrong of course). In any case, I like the hunter-gatherer dichotomy you use in your article to describe relationship dynamics. What's interesting here is that being a gatherer is a lot less risky than being a hunter. In fact, I would assume whenever a man would take on the role of the gatherer in the wild, it would be in situations where his perception of risk is greater than that of the reward. Being a hunter brings with it the potential for having a more satisfying meal, so to see men shy away from this implies that they do not feel as safe as they used to. Just something to ponder. Trauma comes in all shapes and sizes, and the main way men deal with trauma is by distancing themselves in an effort to maintain a strong image we have been conditioned to keep. As I've said before, I don't know much about relationships, but I do know trauma and loss (this implies not only physical loss, but also loss of self, image, beliefs, strength, etc.). For myself, I would say that I am more of a lone wolf as I tend to keep to myself a lot. Trust does not come easy for me given my past experiences. I know this and admit it openly. I still hold to the same standards of treating women with respect, however. One way I show this respect is by not stringing women along when I am not capable of reciprocating intimate feelings (I had a very difficult life guys, and I don't want to drag anyone down with me).

Anyway, I strongly agree with your point that men and women are inherently different and that we should try to complement our differences. However, one main similarity between men and women that should be acknowledged is the potential for resentment and being wounded. I strongly believe that generational family dysfunction is a huge contributor to a cycle of broken families, and consequently, relationships. Our families shape who we are and what we believe in from the very start of our lives. To not have that strong foundation can lead to significant damage that can affect a person for the rest of his or her life."

Yves (author) on December 25, 2019:

I agree wholeheartedly, JBlast.

JBlast on December 25, 2019:

Marrying a great person is the foundation of a great marriage and great family.

It's not an optional icing on the family cake, but rather a healthy, integral binder.

Yves (author) on December 01, 2019:

Hi RubyRed...... First of all, thank you for bringing Warren Farrell to my attention. I've not read "The Boy Crisis" but I did read the rather lengthy introduction to the book. I also viewed one of his videos. Yes, he is soft spoken, but I was alarmed by his friendship with John Gray, a chauvinist, although that fact is not known by many. If you read anything about Gray's workshops or comments he makes about women, you will find that I am correct.

I then learned that Farrell supports Elam. I further surmised that after his divorce, Farrell became more bitter toward women, whereas previously, he had been a feminist. However, there had been a progression toward his advocating for men.

Long story short. I don't like him. He's a phony. He pretends not to be a misogynist.

However, he is smart enough to say things like, "Boys need fathers." Duh. Or.... families meals are important for boys. Wow! New flash! However, that is true for boys and girls. I had family meals Monday thru Friday when my son was growing up. We talked about his day at school. It was a wonderful time of the day.

However, things begin to falter for Farrell in every other way, in my opinion.

Read this article. It will tell you a lot. Maybe more than you want to know.

https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2015/01/warre...

As for the book, The War Against Boys, I have not read it either. I only know it is "supposed to be" one of the better books about boys. For all I know, it may not be good at all. I cannot say at this juncture.

Yves (author) on November 27, 2019:

I agree with you 100% about Elam. His own daughters have no respect for him, and for good reason. Sounds like he had "mommy" issues, but that is no excuse. He is indeed, "nasty" in every way possible. No experienced woman would ever touch him with a "10-foot pole." And yet he is an "influence" unfortunately.

I have a wonderful day planned for tomorrow. Thanks so much.

RubyRed....is you're reading this, I am thinking about you. I have not forgotten about the other hub and the reading material I mentioned. More about that soon.

Suzie from Carson City on November 27, 2019:

Oh Good Grief....the man is a bitter, nasty, selfish, ungrateful narcissist. He needs a huge INTERVENTION!! And he never wants to run into women like us!!

I thought I may have sent you a Thanksgiving wish....If I didn't, shame on me...and Have a Great day! P.

Yves (author) on November 27, 2019:

Lol. I hear you, girlfriend. I was working and had to keep my comment brief. Too much going on..... but as it turns out, our friend, RubyRed, agrees. Paul Elam is a disgusting SOB. Yeah. That's a more appropriate way to describe him, but even that is too kind.

Love ya, Paula! Happy Thanksgiving, by the way!

Suzie from Carson City on November 27, 2019:

Yves Girlfriend......Your comment replying to Ruby caught my eye today as I scrolled my feed. Oh my, I could say so much but I'll reserve the worst of it for now and just say.......You were most kind and much too easy on Paul Elam by simply referring to him as a "Jerk!"

That pathetic %$#@&&^ is any woman's nightmare of all nightmares!..(Not to mention that he's no savior to men!!)

It's very difficult for me to accept that he's even believed or respected by men with any degree of intelligence or common sense.

Such a FRAUD! The "Buzz Feed" article exposes him in the way he deserves to be exposed. Frankly, I was simply horrified at what I read. I can assure you, once I settle down about 3 levels, I fully intend to write this creature, just to tell him how toxic and destructive he is to men, women, relationships, marriage and parenthood. .....all across the board!

Well.. Today..my blood pressure got a work out! Arghhhh! Paula

Yves (author) on November 27, 2019:

Hi RubyRed..... I believe than Elam is a jerk. Read this article. https://www.buzzfeed.com/adamserwer/how-mens-right...

I'll address more of your comments later on. Thanks for writing in.

RubyRedRR on November 27, 2019:

Interesting, I didn't buy the book and my college didn't have a copy. I asked my gender studies proff and she gave me a lecture saying it was "misogynist crap"(im studying anthropology and it's required for some reason)

I did watch a lecture by Paul Elam who seems a very gentle and compasionate man. She also had unkind words for him which is hard to fathom, like hating Mr Rogers.

Whatever is going on with men, I don't think it will be good for anyone. The scary part is there doesn't seem to be anyone out there who cares and it's getting worse not better.

I was told all my life that I didn't need a man. I think the boys got a different message, that they weren't wanted. I think they took it to ❤️.

I'm sitting in a booring class watching the new buildings on campus going up I have to ask myself, what women are going to build the next ones? I can't see anyone of my friends going up on that steel, I certainly couldn't match the strength I see them use to move that steel into place.

Yves (author) on November 19, 2019:

Thank you, Devika. Dating seems to be getting more complicated by the decade. Nevertheless, love is still alive!

Devika Primić from Dubrovnik, Croatia on November 18, 2019:

Yves you made the most useful points on women confused on dating and it is an issue for man women.

Yves (author) on November 17, 2019:

Yes, we have all kinds of different people in this world with different levels of integrity. Some have no integrity at all, while others' are genuinely caring.

I'm glad you liked my article, MG Singh.

MG Singh emge from Singapore on November 16, 2019:

I liked your article. I wonder women are confused about dating. Some are pretty calculating but this is part of human nature

Yves (author) on November 08, 2019:

MGTOW"king" I have deleted your last two posts because one was inappropriate and the other was predatory. You know what I am talking about.

I am sorry for your unhappiness, but do not attempt to manipulate me or any of my readers or I will have you banned. You are certainly old enough to know better.

Furthermore, you need to stop ruining the chances of young men to have a chance at love. They don't need to live in misery as you do. Get help.

Yves (author) on November 08, 2019:

RubyRed.....Interesting observations. I am sorry to hear that your own bothers feel badly about themselves. I think our educational system is failing boys. Consequently, our young men are suffering the after-effects. Young boys are very vulnerable; they need our encouragement and love. That is where good parenting comes in. In this sense, Ken Burgess has a point.

In your case, as a young women who wants to date, I don't have any a specific answer for your predicament, except to not give up. Most young women I know, who are either dating or engaged, are in their mid-20's. They've mentioned that they meet some real jerks at times, but they're also wise enough to give those guys their walking papers. Real fast.

Despite what you here from MGTOW, dating is still alive....but I do sense that dating is getting harder for teeenagers and girls in their early 20's.

RubyRedRR on November 07, 2019:

It's the apathetic attitude, not just towards women, but to life itself that I see.

It's like they have all come to the independent conclusion that they have no future, so screw it I'll just play video games and hang with my friends.

Or, they are so career driven they work constantly and see women as an obstacle or worse competition.

Some are simply convinced women hate men, and it's not like they object to this thought, it's more like they think it's ok and normal to hate men because they hate men.

I see this in my brothers, it's like they "know" something is wrong with themselves being male so they reject doing anything that could be considered traditionaly male, including dating.

Ken Burgess from Florida on November 07, 2019:

Yves,

Its much more dynamic and multi-layered than that, I know we have probably hashed out many of the issues in this thread already.

Society has changed and still changing, what was normal acceptable behavior between men and women 40 years ago is considered sexual harassment today.

Women had certain expectations and roles 40 years ago, and today all those have been done away with.

There is an assault on allowing 'boys to be boys' and 'girls to be girls' today, boys are being encouraged at an early age to wear pink and play with dolls, girls are encouraged to play with trucks and build with blocks, and the people trying to push these changes try to ignore the natural desire that boys have to build things and play rough, and girls have to nurture and socialize rather than spend hours building things.

A woman can fill all the roles a man can, she can be the 'boss', the bread winner, the life of the party, can play the field, whatever life a woman wants to live she is free to live... but if she wants a relationship, a marriage, a family that works, then she has to fulfill certain roles that her partner will want her to fill, just as she will have expectations for him, and without compromise and learning to put another's needs ahead of your own at times, it will never work.

It is the woman not the man that carries the child and gives birth. A woman has to decide to have children by her 40s at the latest, a man can wait until he is in his 60s if he wants. Some things just are what they are.

Yves (author) on November 07, 2019:

RubyRed..... This turn of events has to do with an ideology created by unhappy/angry men who blame feminists for all the ills of society. Thus, they have decided that the cost of having a relationship is not worth the reward, having been married and divorced.. They place a lot of stress upon money and/or possible lawsuits.

Unfortunately, they have managed to brainwash young men who haven't even had a chance at a relationship. It's actually very sad and in the long run, it is a huge negative for society.

RubyRedRR on November 07, 2019:

Whatever is happening, somethings wrong.

I do see these guys, the "gatherers" , they are usually some loud jerk in a football Jersey with three tinder accounts one steady girl who seems oblivious, four on hold and four more who think they are the steady girl while he works on his next lay. He's your best chance at an STI and an unwanted pregnancy.

He can only do this because of the other nine guys who ether never ask women out or are actively avoiding us.

So women get the short straw again, we still get harrasment from the jerks who hit on everything with boobs, while the other %90 are ether to afraid or to damaged to bother, or even worse just apathetic to the whole idea of a relationship or even sex which is becoming more and more common.

Yves (author) on November 06, 2019:

Hi RubyRed..... Statistically speaking, women generally carry most of the load around the house in a Marriage. That is not to say there has not been a shift, particularly now that young people are waiting to marry and men have to learn to take care of themselves FYI:. I love a man who can cook!

You will find another great guy eventually. Don't despair. And thanks for the information on your generation. Much appreciated.

You are correct. I am somewhat traditional (although I never pick up after men or do their ironing, etc., etc.). I'm not a maid service.

Anyhoo.... I've found that my method has helped me to attract quality men quite naturally.

RubyRedRR on November 06, 2019:

Thanks Yves,

My old BF was a great cook like my dad and kept his place neater than mine, in fact he spoiled me. He was a few years older than me and worked construction so he was really muscular and masculine, it was funny watching him iron clothes.

He was always so shy though, men are walking contradictions.

He was electrocuted at work and i miss him so much and it's so hard being alone. I was only 17 when I asked him out, a friend of my brothers. We dated for just one year and I broke up with him because I was chasing some other guy I met online which was stupid. Online makes it seem like there are millions of hot guys begging for a date, but it's an illusion.

I know you're old fashioned, the guys these days are really independent. Most of them are better at housework then the girls I know. My generation at least has that, as I've heard in the past men didn't do housework.

The problem is that while they are still men, working hard dangerous jobs, they can go home and cook a great meal in a clean home and many have decided that they don't need women except for sex and thats easy at least for the attractive ones.

The other issue I think is that while I was told that girls were great, powerful, and could do anything. The boys were taught that men are all villains and defective. They don't even know how to be men anymore. So they don't care.

I had a real man, now I'm surrounded by damaged boys who have no reason to try.

Yves (author) on November 05, 2019:

On the one hand, sex is the glue that holds a marriage together....in general, and with few exceptions. On the other hand, sex is emotional for women in that she needs to feel loved in the marriage. She feels loved when he does thoughtful, little things...things that are helpful and which make the household run more efficiently. It is impossible to have healthy sex with an abusive, angry or emotionally absent man.

Also, women should nudge rather than nag when she needs his help with this or that. She often works outside the house too, yet most of the household chores, cooking, and child raising rests upon her shoulders.... in the majority of households though not all. Sometimes a gal gets tired working two jobs.

As they say, it takes two to tango. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, Ken.

Ken Burgess from Florida on November 05, 2019:

I was in for my yearly check-up at the Dentists last week. I don't know how the conversation got onto marriage. But the hygienist said she had been married for 20 years.

'Impressive,' I said, 'what is the secret to your success' I asked.

She said (paraphrasing), that after a couple years she learned what her husband needed, and things were much easier thereafter.

"I don't mean 'need' like I need to go shopping and get a new coat." she said. "That is a want, I want a new coat, I don't need a new coat."

"After a couple days of no sex, my husband starts to get agitated, argumentative, and I realize that he needs that release. I give him that 15 minutes, or whatever it is, of attention, and he goes back to being his normal happy self."

20 years... no hiccups, and thinking about it, and my own marriage that has made it 15 years so far, it really is that simple, my easiest going, calm and content self directly correlates to such attention and my nastiest most argumentative when absent of it.

Speaking for myself, I don't need to hear I love you, I don't need gifts, I don't need anything else really, though support helps, having things to enjoy in common helps, all those things are secondary and not needs.

Anyways, I found it interesting that she so easily spelled out the one 'need' to make a relationship work with a man, well for me, and her husband anyways. I would be curious to see of all those marriages that end in divorce, how many of those women understood this one simple truth.

Yves (author) on November 05, 2019:

How dramatic, not to mention, unimpressive. And then MGTOW men, who have been married before, wonder why she asked for a divorce in the first place. The truth is that women are relieved when angry men stop dating. It's saves us a lot of precious time.

However, MGTOW has no business brainwashing young men who still have a chance at happiness. Some young men are beginning to realize just how damaging your philosophies are. For others, it might be too late.

Yves (author) on November 04, 2019:

Wow! RubyRedRR..... This thing of men not dating out of fear has become ridiculous. I blame the internet and the plethora of men's forums that use propaganda to steer men away from women.

For crying out loud, what a sad way to live.

Studies of men living alone and forsaking the chance to love are not filled with happy endings. These men end up depressed and sometimes suicidal. I blame MGTOW for this tragic turn of events.

Nevertheless, I appreciate your story. In time you will meet someone who does not live in fear of women. It might take a little longer, but it will happen eventually. People are still dating. That much I know for sure!

RubyRedRR on November 04, 2019:

I'm in my third year in college, three years zero dates.

I really hate it, women outnumber men two to one on campus and most of the guys seem to be so afraid of women they practically run away.

So there's this really cute guy in my calc II class, he started a study group last year in calc I. My BFF and I joined the group and started hanging out with him. He's smart, funny, very kind and sweet to everyone. There are five good looking girls in this group and he hasn't asked any of us out.

So last week I saw him out with his friends, awesome three single guys and I have an excuse to talk to them .

They were funny, friendly etc we all had a great time later on one of my friends joined up, she's tall, thin and blonde , you would think she would get asked out...

Not one of them even tried, nothing.

I finally got the courage to talk to him about it, maybe he's gay? , Nope he said he just decided he's better off alone and single and has no intentions of dating. He likes women so he has a lot of female friends but that's as far as he will take things. He also said it's "foolish to date someone you work or go to school with" his college career was just not worth risking...

What about his friends, he explained that they had all be burned in the past by their exes and none want a relationship or even sex.

Great, I should have become a nun, at least they don't have student loans..

Yves (author) on October 12, 2019:

Lol. That's hilarious. Well...now we know what to do. Save up for the boat. The poor dears need a man cave and we women need a break. It's a win-win! Hahaha!

Nice to see you, Dale. Thanks for the tip.;)

Dale Anderson from The High Seas on October 12, 2019:

To be fair, we men are tricky beasts to wrangle so I don't envy women's position of having to deal with us. However, men do become a lot easier to handle when their wife lets them have a boat. Men with boats are generally pretty happy fellows and easy to manage.

Yves (author) on September 21, 2019:

Do some research. That is not something I had "felt." The point is that Incels are angry. They hate women, but any vulnerable person can be a victim of their rage. Why do you think they celebrate mass shootings? Are all of those victims women?

James168 on September 19, 2019:

Incels attack homeless men and old ladies? Where did you get that statistic....you can't just make stuff up because that is how you feel.....

malcolm wright on September 18, 2019:

my post is for the women who never pursue and take a chance at being rejected but experts at telling guys how they should handle rejetion

Yves (author) on September 15, 2019:

Except that the women I am speaking of in this article always purs