Let me tell you what this is not.

This is not a several part series trying to explain to you, as Rachel Held Evans and other progressive Christians do, that the straightforward reading of the text is not quite true, or should be seen differently, or that conservatives are ignoring the Bible’s nuances, or not getting to the spirit of what is being taught.

This is not here to shame fundamentalists, primarily, in order to applaud progressive Christians. And I’m not going to be doing a lot of thorough exegesis, or recommending several thick books that state God is kosher with same sex marriage, or any of that.

I’m also not interested in telling you a lie that will make you smile.

Why? Because when you’re trying to engineer an egalitarian society, messing with nonexistent variables doesn’t seem all that helpful.

Here’s my interpretation of the Bible’s opinion on Same-Sex marriage:

Anything derogatory it says about same-sex marriage is nothing more than prejudice against gay individuals by primitive tribes.

That’s it. It’s prejudice encapsulated in the time-bubble of the Bible.

So, what I’d like you to do is throw your Bible away. Because, honestly, this is ridiculous. Why the heck would you hang on to that ancient rulebook crafted by bigots? It’s time to look past that to people who exist and who love each other.

I guess that’s why I’m an anti-theist. I see progressives and conservatives and fatheists arguing over what God supposedly “REALLY” said, and I’m standing here like — can we move pass this? Can we move past trying to get to the “true” meaning of texts and start looking at, like, the flesh and blood people right in front of us?

Why do people have to make this complicated? I mean, get past the Bible, and there’s really no logical reason to keep people of the same sex from getting married to each other. None. If people love each other, they should be able to show it, as long as it’s consensual.

I mean, this doesn’t seem complicated. Why am I still writing about this? I feel like we should just close the book on this thing and move on.

It absolutely ridiculous and embarrassing that there are lgbt youth who are suicidal and forced through ridiculous therapies because we see them as having some kind of deformity. People. They love someone and/or identify as a certain sex, just like many of us do. It’s time to get the fuck over it. It’s not complicated. If the book is in the way — just throw the damn thing away. Seriously. It’s a book. That’s all it is. There’s no God, no hocus-pocus anti-gay or lgbt ambivalent deity here to smite people who want to share their love with each other. Can we just move on from that?

If you’re in the way of love because of, like, your religion or whatever — look. This is love two people share. Making them a goddamn cake to celebrate their love for each other ain’t gonna kill ya, and if the only reason you give them grief by refusing is because of a goddamn book — seriously, get over it.

Here’s my interpretation of God’s opinion in the Bible — I don’t give a shit. Like, I care about it because it’s impacting culture, but beyond that I don’t care. Because I care about people who actually exist instead of fantasy figures who…don’t.

I mean, this is absurd. I’m tired of being trapped in a stone age when there are people in the current age who want to show their love for each other.

Let’s quit making this so damn complicated. Two people love each other. They want to get married. Awesome.

Let’s move on, guys. Throw that book away, loosen up and cheer a gay wedding, support lgbt individuals and then, like, let’s get some ice cream or play ping pong or something.

So…um…yeah. There’s my grand exposition.

Really, seriously, pretty please with a cherry on top, throw away the fucking book.

Let’s make your “Bible” the heart you see through your neighbor’s eyeballs, not hundreds of pages of outdated superstition.

Goddamn.