IF PEOPLE who use Google are right, and let's face it we all use Google, then every major city in Australia is officially boring. Except for one city.

The exception? Hobart, which people think is "epic".

Yes folks, we're playing city wars again. It's a tired old game, but today we're doing this thing in a fresh new way.

Normally when a city is named "awesome" or "epic or "livable" (whatever the hell "livable" means), it's some publicity-starved travel guide trying to grab a headline.

This is different. This is you talking. Yes you.

You know when you do a Google search and predictive text appears? Google calls this Google Instant, and it reflects the most commonly typed words, sentences and phrases.

So here's the deal. When people type "Sydney is …" or "Melbourne is …" or the name of any mainland Australian capital followed by the word "is", the predictive text comes up with the word "boring".

Brutal, aren't we.

But Hobart is different. Type "Hobart is …" and Google Instant comes up with the predictive word "epic".

So what exactly makes Australia's second oldest city so great? We rang Tourism Tasmania for their not even slightly unbiased viewpoint. Here's what they said:

"Hobart, like the whole of Tasmania, is epic because of all the quirky charming things that happen and because the air is clean, the sky is closer and people are creative. Oh, and it's an island with a lot of history, art, stories, new energy, passion and amazing scenery."

Waaaiiit a minute. Let's wind this thing back a bit. The sky is closer? THE SKY IS CLOSER IN HOBART?????

Wow, don't know about epic, but they're epically weird in Tassie, that's for sure.

Now it just so happens that there's a bit of a late twist in this tale.

We've just learned that someone has been making little figurines with the words "Hobart is epic" on them and leaving them in random locations in Hobart. Which kind of explains all the Google searches.

It also happens that if you type "Hobart is …" into Google, the next suggestion after "epic" is "boring", just like all the other capitals.

So basically, Hobart is boring too. And we live in a country of the most mind-numbingly dull metropolises in the world. Either that or people on the internet are kind of grumpy and a little insane. Probably a bit of both, truth be told.

Anyway, below are a bunch of screen grabs showing what Google users think of your city. Not sure if this is epic or boring or what it is, but anyway ...

First up, here's Sydney. This will please the haters.

Here's Melbourne. No surprises here.

Gee, imagine Canberra being boring. Never!

Now for Adelaide.

Perth's a lovely place. If by the word "lovely" you mean boring like all the other capitals.

Darwin. It's that place up north where your drunk uncle was probably swallowed by a crocodile once. But even that doesn't make it interesting.

Lastly, to Brisbane. Which we only put last because we nearly forgot it existed. Like everyone else. Yes, Brisbane is boring too.

But don't think we're picking on your city. Fact is, the whole of Australia is just one big bloody bore.