TONY ROBBINS: Most people major in minor things. They start out with dreams but get slapped down by disappointment, which takes a bite out of their confidence. So they travel through life with less than they deserve and come up with a story about why.

PLAYBOY: You mean “if only” rationales for lesser results?

TONY ROBBINS: Most of us are looking for something outside ourselves that we can’t control to blame for where we are, rather than finding a way to control the inside world and maximize our greatest strengths. People who focus on what they can’t control are usually depressed, overwhelmed and lost.