"Women, Be careful! But there's no excuse to make normal, kind-hearted men feel bad just because they want to talk to you." Photo: Stocksy. Posed by model.

Inspired by both George Lawlor, a student from Warwick University in the UK who objects to the idea of people (specifically men and specifically himself) being politely invited to attend workshops teaching sexual consent because he doesn't think he looks like a rapist, and the male commenters on this thread about a sexual assault at James Cook University, here is every outraged, contradictory argument about common sense and women's responsibility condensed into one:



"Women! When will you learn that the world isn't safe for you, hey? When will you learn that you have to be CAREFUL? That you have to show vigilance and awareness of your surroundings, that you have to exercise caution? When will you learn to give away this silly notion of fairness and equality and recognise that the Bad People don't care about your rights? When will you learn that you can't just wander around doing whatever you like just because feminism tells you that you should be allowed to?

Now listen, don't get your knickers in a twist. This isn't a matter of victim blaming. It's a simple matter of common sense. If you want to live in a fantasy world of butterflies and rainbows, that's your business - but don't run around crying when something bad happens to you. I mean, you can't just go and park your vagina on an empty street with the keys in the ignition and your wallet on the window sill and all your worldly goods strewn about on the lawn and expect that nothing will happen. This is reality, not la la land! There are Evil Monsters out there, and you have to be prepared to protect yourselves against them!

What's that, you say? You want to protect yourself against ME? HOW VERY DARE YOU! I have never been so offended in all my life! You're basically calling me a potential rapist and calling men potential rapists is the most offensive thing that has ever happened or can ever happen in the history of the whole entire WORLD. Most men are good, decent people and we would never hurt anyone! For you to imply that isn't just wrong - it's actually misandry. It actually means that you hate men, and there can be no greater threat to the stability of human civilisation than that act of women hating men. Misandry HURTS MEN'S FEELINGS, and if you hurt men's feelings then you can't really be interested in equality.


What? Yes, I know I said that women have to apply common sense when it comes to protecting themselves and maintaining constant vigilance and making sure that they don't speak to strange men in bars or while drinking alcohol or while breathing and just minding their own business. Obviously women have to apply common sense here because they can't be too careful about what might happen to them and if anything does happen to them and they've failed to be too careful about preventing it then they kind of have to accept that they're partially to blame.

I'm not saying they're completely to blame, so don't even try to pull that accusatory feminazi rubbish on me. I'm no misogynist. I love women. My mother's a woman and I have lots of female friends and they all love me - ask any of them! They'll tell you that I am literally the last person in the whole world who would ever say anything bad about women or do anything hurtful to them, because I love and respect women so much. So I never said women were completely to blame when they behave in a way that invites Bad People to hurt them. I'm just saying they're partially to blame, and that is actually completely different.

No, OBVIOUSLY I didn't mean that you should be careful to avoid speaking to me or drinking with me or just breathing somewhere in the same vicinity as me, because I'm a Nice Guy. It's actually incredibly offensive for you to suggest otherwise. I shouldn't be made to feel like a rapist just because I want to talk to you in a pub or walk you home when you didn't ask me to or send you twenty messages in a row on Facebook demanding to know why you won't go out with me. I shouldn't be made to feel like a threat to you because I'm just showing an interest in you. Women only need to protect themselves around Bad Men, not Nice Guys. See the difference?

How can you tell that I'm a Nice Guy? Haven't you been listening at all this entire conversation? I mean, I'm just absolutely FLOORED at your inability to follow what I've been saying. I just TOLD you that I'm a Nice Guy. What else do you need? Why can't you just trust what I tell you? When I tell you that this isn't what a rapist looks like, why don't you just believe me? Rapists have never looked like conservative white male students who don't believe they have a responsibility to learn about consent.

Why are you so suspicious all the time? Honestly, what did I ever do to encourage you to feel suspicious? What did men ever do to you to make you feel like you need to walk through the world feeling scared and harassed and defensive all the time? I mean, what is WRONG with you that you would feel that way? Why are you so paranoid about everything? Why do you hate men so much? Look, I'm sorry that someone hurt you once upon a time or that you're jealous of prettier women or that you have a bad relationship with your father or whatever, but that's no excuse to make normal, kind hearted men feel bad just because they want to talk to you without having you call the police on them. See, this is just a classic example of feminism gone mad. It used to be about equality and now it's just about demonising men's behaviour.

What's that? A woman was sexually assaulted at 1:30pm while walking through her university campus and listening to music? Well, she shouldn't have been wearing headphones."