The designer, 45, on optimistic pessimism, missing his mum’s cooking, nearly dying in Moscow and dreaming at Saint Martins

Self-sufficiency and survival were values instilled in me by my parents. Both my parents were GPs in Delhi – my father is still practising at nearly 73. Mum helps with production at my factory in India.

I was bullied constantly as a child at an all boys Catholic school in Delhi run by the Christian Brothers. I was an introvert, didn’t have a lot of friends and liked to read a lot rather than play sports. It was miserable. I couldn’t wait to escape.

A copy of Vogue that Mum had smuggled into the house was my first exposure to fashion as a boy. Cinema and fashion were an escape for me. Through my boy’s eyes it was a fantasy-filled magical world I just wanted to be part of.

Mum and Dad told me: “It’s just a phase,” when I said I wanted to study fashion. I think it’s a refugee thing that they want you to become a doctor or lawyer. I compromised and went to art school in Delhi to study commercial art. Afterwards I told them I’d try fashion for a year, just to get it out of my system.

I left India at 20 for London, and studied fashion at Central Saint Martins. The course director, Louise Wilson, gave me the best piece of advice: “Dream!” When I asked her if sparkly fabrics were too much, she said: “Just do the fucking fairy fabric!” Colour and sequins are my response to the terrifying world we live in. My designs are a two-fingers-up to this world.

A disaster in Paris nearly ended my career before it had begun. All of my student work was stolen at the station and never made it to interviews at the fashion houses. I was discovered after a friend of a friend bought a piece – a tartan jumper with bows and sequins – and walked into Browns in London wearing it. I got a call from them, and my first order.

When I started out in the fashion industry, I felt like an outsider, and still do a bit – I have imposter syndrome. I had quite a strong accent and didn’t understand a lot of the references in the UK. But the industry has become a lot more inclusive. I didn’t understand at the time that I needed to embrace those things rather than try to leave them behind.

I’m an optimistic pessimist. I hope for the best but usually expect the worst.

Learning to cook Mum’s traditional Indian food is a current goal. She sends me her favourite recipes on WhatsApp. Mum’s a brilliant cook and I miss her food.

I nearly died at a party in Moscow. I went into anaphylactic shock after eating something and the host pulled my pants down and gave me an adrenaline injection that saved my life. I still don’t know what caused it. A rumour circulated that I’d died. Embarrassing but spectacular.

Ashish’s SS20 collection is available at matchesfashion.com and brownsfashion.com

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