For my dear friend Amber. If you didn’t play the role that you do in my life, I would never have even thought to write this piece.

In the beginning, Nerd Culture was a paradise; a Nirvana for the lonely, socially awkward and those who felt lost and out of place everywhere else. In the beginning, those lonely, socially awkward, out of place nerds were almost entirely males. It was a massive community of guys who could empathize one with another. And you know what? It was pretty good.

But nothing stays static forever. Even the stars, which seem frozen in place for eternity, evolve. And over the past few years, nerd culture has been growing and evolving into a different beast. More and more people are getting turned on to things that nerds have loved for decades. Increasing throngs of people are learning to love comic book characters, sci-fi TV and movies, and various forms of gaming.

And increasingly, those newcomers to nerd culture are females. For a lot of nerdy dudes, that is problematic.

Many nerdy girls experience resentment and prejudices from their male counterparts, even as we (yes, I include myself here) whine about being excluded and ignored by “normal people.” But, as the “Reading Rainbow” guy says, you don’t have to take my word for it. All you have to do is talk to girl nerds.

Take, for instance, Amanda Baker. An avid fan of “Star Wars” and video games, Amanda stood in line at a recent convention wearing “Star Wars” gear, anxious to meet Anthony Daniels (C-3PO in the “Star Wars” movies). She was approached by a 20-something guy who asked her what she was doing at the convention.

“He said to me ‘you’re here to get guys to hit on you’.”

The guy then proceeded to quiz Baker on bizarre “Star Wars” trivia, and being a fan since she was very young, she smoked this dude’s little test. The guy was taken aback and apologized profusely before shaking her hand and disappearing. The experience left Baker feeling rattled. “I wondered if that’s what the majority of the men there think about women”, she said. “Do they really think we are here just because we like the attention? Like a female couldn’t possibly know the things I do about ‘Star Wars’.”

This occurs in multiple venues, too, from comic book stores to online forums.

Robyn Buchanan, a long-time role-playing gamer and major “Peanuts” nut, heard horror stories about women getting slagged by male gaming nerds online. “My screen name was very gender-neutral,” she explained. “I think I went three years before I let them know I’m female. It was just simply because, you know, will I still be taken seriously if they know I’m not a guy?”

Terri Zora, a self-described “broad-spectrum, low-level geek” who loves stuff like “Doctor Who” and the “Harry Potter” novels, has also seen plenty of online harassment, seeing plenty of belittling based around the idea that she isn’t a big enough fan of something. “I’ve gotten some pushback that I can’t like comic book characters because you don’t like comic books themselves,” she said. “But I love the characters. I love the stories. I just don’t like serial storytelling.”

Zora adds, “You get some geeks that have this weird exclusivity. It’s like ‘You can’t be a geek because you don’t like this’ or ‘You’re not into it enough’.” This sort of nerd elitism seems to be intended to weed out posers, but all it really accomplishes is enraging people who might have a genuine love of one pop culture property or another.

And how did it get this way? Why do guys have so many issues with women trying to join their party? These three ladies have some ideas.

”Before gaming (and other forms of nerdery) was mainstream, a lot of the guys that gamed were … socially uncomfortable,” explains Buchanan. “That was doubly so around women, so I think there would be some resentment of women coming into their social circle where there they felt safe and could be themselves without worrying about offending or attracting a female.”

Zora explains, “(Guy nerds) feel like girls have pushed them aside, so turnabout is fair play. I don’t think it’s even that conscious. It’s like this subconscious thing of ‘I’ve been rejected, so now it’s my turn’.” A lot of men don’t like when women are as good at something as they are,” adds Baker. “So when women are involved in nerd culture and have a true interest in it, I think a lot of men can become intimidated.”

According to these ladies, often times women feel pressured to “prove themselves” or offer convincing evidence that they are “true fans”, whatever that means. They also mentioned that there can be stigmas attached to being a nerd girl. Baker mentioned that she’s been accused of sleeping around and being socially awkward and unattractive, simply because she loves nerdy things.

O.k., guys, it’s time for a little tough talk. This has to stop. What it means to be a nerd is changing. Nerd culture is growing and more women are being drawn to it. This is a very good thing. I remember sitting around with my buddies, whining about how no girls would even talk to me because I wore a Batman tee-shirt to school. Now, there are tons of women who love talking about Batman, “Star Wars” and every other nerdy thing under the sun, and we shouldn’t be shunning them. We should be stoked that they are willing to join us on our nerdy journey.

So, guys, let’s make girl nerds feel welcome. Because what nerd culture really is is one giant geeky party. And having more people attend is always merrier.