The Big Brother offseason is currently upon us, and rather then spend my day trying to be productive I decided to put together a fun cast list for a hypothetical, never-gonna-happen, season of Big Brother All-Stars: Heroes vs. Villains. I got the idea from watching the Survivor season, and it got me thinking how a similarly themed version would work for Big Brother. I’m aware that the concept doesn’t really work when translated over, but just for fun I started piecing together how the cast would look, and I was pretty impressed with what I came up with.

Here are some notes I want to lay out about it first.

1- I’ve only watched seasons 5-19, so anyone from 1-4 isn’t gonna be on the list unless they were on the first all-stars season.

2- My picks are based on previous houseguests that I think would actually return if asked, meaning no Dan, Will, or Jun. I also left Derrick off because I’d only want him on a season with the other all-time greats. There’s one contestant from season 6 that I included that I’m not sure if she’d return or not, but because I’m ever the optimist I assumed that somehow she would.

3- My cast list skews more towards recent seasons, as I predict an upcoming all-stars season would. Recency bias is a thing for me as well, but I did try to include a few contestants from older seasons.

4- Though Paul from BB18 and 19 perfectly fits the criteria for a season like this, I left him off because I can’t stand him. I never want to see him on another season of BB unless it’s with the all-time greats so they can send him home early and show just how inferior of a player he is.

Now on to the cast!

Heroes:

Guys:

1- John McGuire (BB17: 4th Place)- Johnny Mac is a favorite of mine from recent seasons, and I think he perfectly fits the role of a hero. I’d love to have him on my season, and I’m curious to see how he’d do with this batch of houseguests. I just wish he was as good at winning HOH competitions as he was at Veto ones.

2- Donny Thompson (BB16: 8th Place)- Good ol’ Donny is perfect for a season of heroes vs. villains. He was a fan favorite last time he played, and I think he would be just as beloved a second time around.

3- Victor Arroyo (BB18: 5th Place)- When I think of heroes from recent seasons of Big Brother, Victor is someone who instantly comes to mind. Whether he’s getting revenge on the people who evicted him, making Paulie cry, or just plain entertaining the live feeders with a puppet show, Victor is the perfect contestant to have on another season.

4- Hayden Moss (BB12: Winner)- I’m not quite sure if he really qualifies as a hero, but regardless he is one of the few previous winners that I really want to see back. I think he is very strategically minded, and possesses a personality that would do well on just about any season of Big Brother. I’m also curious to see what he’d do to try and top his BB12 run.

Girls:

1- Alex Willett (BBOTT: 7th Place)- When I was putting together my list, I set aside one spot for a houseguest to represent BBOTT. Morgan makes the most sense, as she was the winner, but on a season of regular BB I think her sister Alex would fare much better. Either of them are fine picks, but if it was up to me I’d always pick Alex. If only Shelby wasn’t busy becoming a lawyer and could come back as well.

2- Jessica Graf (BB19: 12th Place)- While I’d love to have Jody together on another season of Big Brother, I think they play much better games when they are separate. Personally, picking between the two I’d rather have Jessica back. I think playing solo she’d have a clearer mind and would do much better.

3- Bridgette Dunning (BB18: 9th Place)- I can’t find a single negative thing to say about Bridgette. In a season that was full of harassment and cruel behavior, she was a shining beacon of positivity that fans could rally behind. I think she deserves another shot at playing.

4- Renny Martyn (BB10: 5th Place)- Holy hell, I absolutely adore Renny. I don’t care what it takes, I would love to have her back for another season.

Villains:

Guys:

1- Andy Herren (BB15: Winner)- BB15 was the first season of Big Brother that I ever watched, and to be honest, back then I absolutely hated Andy! Watching it live, I was continuously infuriated by how he’d mastermind the demise of all my favorite contestants. He was so freaking good that I resented him for it. That said, I recently went back and watched the season again (because past BB seasons are the perfect show to watch while running at the gym), and I found myself surprised at how impressed by his game I was. I found myself really respecting him, and nowadays I think he may just be one of the best players ever. I guess when you already know your favorites aren’t going to win it kinda softens the blow, but Andy’s game is top tier, and in my opinion would be an incredible addition to my season. He’s still a total villain though.

2- Devin Sheppard (BB16: 14th Place)- Did you know he has a daughter?

3- Paulie Calafiore (BB18: 8th Place)– I hate Paulie. I hated everything about the game he played in BB18, and I cheered for when Natalie, Michelle, and Bridgette began his downfall. As much as I hate him though, he also made the season fun to watch. The three most important ingredients that I think a Big Brother cast needs are some funny (but not to the point that they’re annoying) characters, great game players, and a villain that the audience can root against. Paulie fit that role, and he made the audience love to hate him. He was such a perfect villain, that I would be remiss if I didn’t include him on my list so we could see his downfall all over again. Also, can you imagine him on a season with Amanda Zuckerman (cue the butterfly tears!)?!

4- Brian Hart (BB10: 13th Place)- Brian is a contestant that was cut before we got to see him at his full potential. To be honest I’m not really sure if he’s a hero or a villain, but what I do know is that I’d love to see him get another shot on a different season.

Girls:

1- Amanda Zuckerman (BB15: 7th Place)- I hated her watching BB15 live, but like how I changed my opinion of Andy after my rewatch, the same goes for Amanda. I think she’s a master player (as well as entertaining as hell), and would be an incredible addition to an all-star season.

2- Vanessa Russo (BB17: 3rd Place)- When I was thinking of the villains I wanted to put on my list, the first person to come to mind was Vanessa. BB17 is one of my personal favorite seasons, and for a while Vanessa was my all-time favorite player. Her gameplay is on another level, and if I were ever blessed to get to play myself, I wish I could masterfully game like she did. You know, except the part about being cut at final 3. Steve, I respect you for the move, but I also hate you for crushing my favorite player’s dreams.

3- Maggie Ausburn (BB6: Winner)– If someone can get Maggie to come out of hiding, I’d love to see what she’d do on another season. This cast won’t be as easy to manipulate as The Friendship was, and I’m curious to see how she’d play when not at the head of a huge cult-like alliance.

4- Daniele Donato (BB8: Runner-Up/BB13: 8th Place)- I love Dani, and I really want to see her back for another season. She’s the perfect blend of a cutthroat, strategic player who is also competent at competitions. I think she’d do well with this cast.

So that’s how I’d cast a season of Big Brother All-Stars: Heroes vs. Villains. I think it’s a pretty fun group, and though it skews more towards recent iterations, I think it would definitely still be a good season. I feel like the sleeper houseguests would be Brian, Bridgette and Hayden, with all of the other big fish quickly taking shots at each other. I could see Renny being dragged along as a goat, but there’s a chance she’d still score some jury votes. The first ones out though would probably be Vanessa (her reputation will do her in), Victor, and then Paulie, with Andy slithering his way through until Amanda sees what he’s doing and cuts him in the style of Ika sending home Neda. At the end, I’d picture a final 3 of Alex, John, with maybe Renny there as well.

Anyway those are my thoughts on how I’d put together my dream cast list for a heroes vs. villains season. Who would be on yours? If my cast was real, who do you think would win? Is there a certain hero or villain that you think is missing from my list? Let me know in the comments below.