St. Louis, MO—

It may be past the holy Christmas season, but the revelation that President Donald Trump paid off an adult film star $130,000 to stay quiet about their affair is a miracle of good faith.

Mr. Trump is infamous for refusing to pay contractors, business partners, creditors and investors, but, to Trump’s credit, he pays off his adult film star flings.

Granted, he only paid off Stormy Daniels in order to save himself the pre-election scandal of her going public with the affair, but we here at The Halfway Post try to find little victories of morality wherever we can.

On a side note, just a friendly reminder that Donald Trump has likely spent much of the last two decades not paying any income tax at all, which, considering his net worth, is a big middle finger to America and patriotism. However, in fairness to Trump, his net worth is nowhere near how much he says it is, which he has admitted in past depositions.

Technically, if Mr. Trump doesn’t pay taxes to his nation, he shouldn’t be a citizen. Although some have speculated Trump’s birth certificate is a hoax, and that Trump is half-orangutan, we here at The Halfway Post believe the real Trump-citizenship questions revolve around his disregard for contributing back to the society that has been so kind to him over the decades by pretending that Trump is a capable business man and not a total fraud whose career has been on life support since the 90’s with illegal money laundering in sketchy casino and real estate deals.

But that’s for you, Dear Reader, to decide for yourself!

(Picture courtesy of Gage Skidmore.)

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