But good for you for speaking up. Americans are afraid of confrontation because of our extreme national affinity for independence and because of our propensity to shoot and/or stab people for almost any reason. “Are you trying to tell me what to do?” is our base response to anyone requesting that we obey the simplest social norms. Suggesting someone do something is a completely normal thing in many places in the world! But on Joe Biden’s beloved National Railroad Passenger Corporation, this weirdo you encountered is entitled to feel affronted.

I don’t think any kind of nonviolent, non-naked, non-disgusting behavior is off-limits on trains, no matter how sucky that behavior is. “Making noise with their mouths” is a thing that humans do by vocalizing or by chewing up plants and animals with their teeth. It’s awful but here we are, trapped carting our brains around in these calcium and keratin sacks. I think you need better headphones. Come sit with me in the quiet car, where I type this column as gingerly as possible so as not to infuriate my fellow flesh monsters.

Ride the Lightning

I work in a school. Our tech support guy is awesome in every way: responsive, friendly, patient and highly competent. The only problem is that he douses himself with an obnoxious quantity of cologne. I don’t want him to feel embarrassed, but it might be in his best interest to know of his odorous offense. (Others in the building concur.) An anonymous letter might work, but just seems too cowardly. By nature of his job, he is never in one place or around the same people for long periods of time. Should I just continue to grin and bear it? He might be masking a natural odor that is even worse than the cologne.

— N ew Haven

First, this is not his fault, it’s the fault of the Axe Industrial Complex. But to your question: The general cowardly way this is dealt with is in a mass office email, tacked on to some housekeeping: “Oh and by the way, some of us are more sensitive than others to smells and the HVAC in here is not great, so please try to keep odors down.” The problem with that, I have found, is that everyone thinks you’re talking about someone else. “Glad you finally dealt with Joanna’s gross salads,” someone will thank you. “Good, maybe Dan will stop wearing those shoes that smell like burning road,” someone will confide. Your real target will elude you.