banksy3245 Fri 17-Apr-20 09:29:33

I had an abortion on the 22nd January, I really wanted to keep the baby but the circumstances I was in, wouldn't let me.



It took me a very long time to come to a decision to have an abortion, for me the pros outweighed the cons more. However, I had to take into consideration my partners circumstances. We had only been dating for 2 months at the time when I fell pregnant, he comes from a family where finances are difficult at the moment. We both are at uni (I'm graduating in July) and he's starting back uni in September. We weren't in the right position to bring up a child. Although I can type this now, it's not how I'm feeling internally!



My abortion experience was very traumatic, I had to travel all the way to BPAS in Doncaster to get a late medical abortion (never had surgery so was too scared to have the surgical abortion). After my consultation (which was elsewhere) when I went to Doncaster, I was told I'd have to give birth to my baby. I was given 24 hours to come to terms with this! They didn't inform me that I'd have to give birth to him, I had to take 1 pill on the first day & the following day I had to go into the clinic again and stay overnight in which I endured the most painful experience of my life. I got there for 5pm and didn't give birth into 1:22am (tablets were inserted through my vagina). The pain was unbearable, they had to put a shot in my leg (which made me feel very sleepy).



I heard my baby drop in the bucket.



After this procedure I had milk coming out my breasts, I bled for 19 days in total (non-stop) and I couldn't poo for those 19 days (it was too painful)



It was such a traumatic experience for me, I decided to go for counselling & then I got referred to a therapist. Because of the Coronavirus the sessions have been cancelled now.



Has anyone gone through something similar? How do you get over the loss of your baby? Because I never think I will, I regret it so much!