It wasn’t that long ago that the idea of sending sexy texts seemed as appealing as sending a sexy telegram. Those not born after the year 2000 have no idea what it was once like, trying to convey sexiness through words alone. The closest most of us ever came was passing dirty notes during class, but that always carried the risk of the wrong person seeing it. I know more than one person who made that mistake.

While sending sexually explicit texts has become more mainstream, so much so that it has set off a moral panic in some parts, the concept is still the same as it always was. People get horny. People seek love. Not everyone is good at face-to-face communication. They can’t talk their way into love or sex like James Bond. Sometimes, it helps to have a filter of sorts and I’m not just talking about auto-correct.

As someone who has above-average writing skills and below-average conversational skills, I can appreciate using text messages to convey sexy sentiments. It helps when you have a chance to read over your words, contemplate better ways of saying it, and presenting them in a way that feels coherent and genuine. I know this works because every major relationship I’ve been in started with text messaging.

However you feel about the impact of text messaging and sexting, there’s no denying that it’s a powerful communication tool. For this week’s edition of my Sexy Sunday Thoughts, I’d like to emphasize the benefits of sexy texting. As someone who has forged actual relationships from it, I feel it’s worth celebrating.

“Tell big lies to get laid is directly correlated to saying weird shit during sex.”

“Telling someone to listen to their heart often means encouraging them to do whatever gets the blood flowing to their genitals.”

“What does it say about our culture when we’re shocked when someone refuses sex and aghast when someone offers it?”

“Sluts are like prostitutes who offer a free trial period.”

“Romance movies treat stalking the same way porn treats spanking.”

“Cooking a good meal for your lover counts as foreplay if they’re hungry.”

“Alcohol won’t make you horny, but it does make you more honest about it.”

Whether we like it or not, texting is going to play a major part in how people express their sexy side. Even if it didn’t exist, people will still long for an intimate connection. While there are costs to consider, there are plenty of rewards, as well. Any tool that can help us forge those connections can only help us in all our romantic and sexual pursuits.