Ontario gov’t announces plans for Sir John A. MacDonald theme park

Just days after members of his cabinet offered to provide a new home for a statue of Canada’s first Prime Minister taken down in Victoria, Ontario Premier Doug Ford outlined plans for a theme park in his honour.

Sir John A. MacDonaldLand will be built just east of Toronto, on the shores of Lake Ontario.

“As these radical reconciliationists begin to dismantle the very fabric of our great nation’s history, we need to provide a refuge for these statues,” Ford told senior staffers, who in turn told reporters, before clapping loudly so there could be no follow-up questions.

“Let’s take it a step further and build a theme park in honour of Sir John A. MacDonald that makes Canada’s Wonderland look like a theme park.”

Early concepts for the park include attractions like the Buck-a-Beer Garden, carnival games like the Red River Rebellion Water Gun Shooting Gallery and a Harry Potter and the Indian Residential Schools System ride.