Continue Reading Below Advertisement

You might think the higher salary would also make it unnecessary, but again, it was never about the money. It's about whatever weird little dopamine high his brain gets from the act. These days, he just has to satisfy it in small, less risky ways. "I try really hard not to let this compulsion complicate other aspects of my life, but it's there all the time. ... I recently bought a lot of food for a barbecue and went through self-checkout. Obviously I'm doing my best not to steal, but when I have a choice between a really cheap produce item and the expensive ones that I purchased, I may select the button on the screen that gives me the better price (I absolutely do this)."

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

Zack is a recovering thief who loves his fiancee enough to try harder. Cezary Jan Strusiewicz is a Cracked columnist, interviewer, and editor. Contact him at c.j.strusiewicz@gmail.com.

Have a story to share with Cracked? Email us here.

Which Sci-Fi Trope Would You Bring To The Real World And Why?: Every summer we're treated to the same buffet of three or four science-fiction movies with the same basic conceits. There's man vs. aliens, man vs. robots; man vs. army of clones; and man vs. complicated time travel rules. With virtual reality and self-driving cars fast approaching, it's time to consider what type of sci-fi movie we want to be living in for the rest of our lives. Co-hosts Jack O'Brien and Adam Tod Brown are joined by Cracked's Tom Reimann and Josh Sargent and comedians David Huntsberger, Adam Newman and Caitlin Gill to figure out which sci-fi trope would be the best to make a reality. Get your tickets to this live podcast here!

For more insider perspectives, check out 6 Realities Of My Job Addicting Kids To Online Games and 5 Ways My Movie Collection Became An Actual Addiction.

Subscribe to our YouTube channel, and check out If Cereal Mascots Got Serious About Stealing Cereal, and other videos you won't see on the site!

Also, follow us on Facebook, and let's go steal some peanut butter, Fluff, and bread, and have some killer Fluffer Nutters.