Correct use of grammar and punctuation ain’t what it used to be, but parking signs on Lake Shore Blvd. may set the gold standard for ineptitude.

One of the mysteries of modern life is the widespread misuse on commercial signage of apostrophes in words that end with an ‘S’.

The apostrophe is reserved for uses that convey the possessive. It works like this: “Johnny’s bike was stolen.”

Apostrophes have steadily crept into plurals where no possessive need be declared. We’ve all seen signs that say “bike’s for sale.”

Not all of us recognize the error, but schools are still teaching punctuation and grammar, which makes the incorrect use apostrophes even more of a puzzle.

John Saunders emailed us a photo of a sign on the south side of Lake Shore, near Cherry St., with so many mistaken apostrophes and hyphens that it is ridiculous.

“It’s fun to laugh at the weirdly obsessive apostrophes in the wrong places, not to mention the out-of-control hyphenation, but it must be confusing for youngsters trying to learn their plurals and possessives,” said Saunders.

“These are professionally printed signs, after all. And what about visitors from out of town? We thought we were Toronto the Good, instead of Toronto the Illiterate.”

We went there and found five identical signs attached to a chain-link fence surrounding a vacant property in the Port Lands, where people on their way to Cirque du Soleil on Cherry St. can pay for parking.

The operator casts a wide net, appealing to people attending various Port Lands attractions, including “concert’s, boat-cruise’s, Polson-Pier, beache’s, Distillery-district, marathon & run’s and bike-ride’s.”

Wow. By our count, five apostrophes are incorrectly used, while hyphens are used in four places where they don’t belong.

How does anyone make nine errors in punctuation on a sign that has a total of 18 words on it, and replicate it five times over?

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We’d like to know who made the sign, so we can warn people to steer clear of them.

What’s broken in your neighbourhood? Wherever you are in Greater Toronto, we want to know. To email us, go to www.thestar.com/thefixer and click on the “submit a problem” link. Or call us at 416-869-4823.