Parents are outraged after Brighton and Hove council has urged people to support three and four-year-old children to identify in whatever gender they choose.

Hundreds of parents received a letter yesterday informing them which primary school (ages 4-11) their children will be attending. It came with a note explaining the national recording system only gives two options of male or female.

It urged parents to ‘support your child to choose their gender they most identify with or if they have another gender identity please leave this blank and discuss this with your child’s school.’

Brighton and Hove is traditionally one of the most liberal cities in the UK, known for its gay nightlife and support of LGBTI issues.

Many parents have come forward to claim it is ‘ridiculous’ for a child that young to have a clear gender identity while others fear of putting them in a ‘gender box’ depending on their feminine or masculine characteristics.

One Brighton mother, who wished to remain anonymous, said she objected to the question because it reinforces dangerous stereotypes of what makes someone a man or woman rather than challenging them.

She argued asking children to make a distinction so young could have harmful ramifications in life.

As reported by Brighton and Hove News, she said: ‘A boy who does not fit into the “masculine” category should not be encouraged to believe that his body is wrong, rather schools should be encouraging that child to broaden their view of what is masculine.

‘It is okay for boys to like pink. It is OK for boys to like playing with dolls. It is OK (later) for boys to be gay. None of these things make that boy a girl.

‘Children at school should be free to develop their identity, celebrate their achievements and accept their bodies. The little boy who wants to wear a dress should be allowed to do that without being pathologized, diagnosed, and treated.’

She added: ‘Children do not have access to an adult view of the world – they don’t fully understand permanence, social structures, what is possible and what is not possible. Four-year-olds do not generally have fixed views and often don’t fully understand that their sex, color or even species is fixed.

‘Treating children as though they are adults is a dangerous approach from a safeguarding point of view. They are not adults – let them enjoy the innocence and creativity of their childhood.’

Brighton and Hove City Council’s lead member for equalities, Councillor Emma Daniel, said the change to the form had been made in response to calls from families and schools to be more inclusive.

She said: ‘Our pupil registration form asks for a range of information from parents and carers for children and young people of all ages who are entering a new school community. Parents and carers are asked to state their child’s gender as male or female. For the vast majority of families this is very straightforward.

‘We have inserted the additional text about gender identity in response to calls from families, young people and schools to show an inclusive approach to gender.

‘There are increasing numbers of children and young people nationally identifying as trans. Many trans people nationally report having been bullied when they were at school.

‘By acknowledging the range of gender identities in our school communities we are helping ensure schools are safe spaces for everyone.

‘We are aware of concerns that have been raised about the new wording we have used on our form relating to gender identity.

‘We will review this to see whether we can in future make it clearer that we consider discussions around gender identity to be an option for parents if they feel it is appropriate rather than an obligation.’