A week ago we tweeted, jokingly, or so we thought, the following:

Rumor Europe has run out of toasters to hand out with new checking accounts — zerohedge (@zerohedge) May 24, 2012

As it turns out it was no joke. Because instead ot the Generally Accepted Depositor Principles bauble generically handed out to witless investors, what Bankia is now resorting to is... a Spiderman Beach Towel in exchange for a €300 deposit.

The below "incentive" to to "run away with the exclusive towel of Spider-Man" is not google translated. It is CTRL-C/V'ed directly from the official Bankia website. Seriously.

It enters Bankia and it discovers your superpowers

If you have the Cuenta Joven and you want to discover what superpowers have, just have to enter Bankia.

SUPERBE ABLE TO PLAYERO (How to achieve the towel)

If you do not want stay stuck to the sand of the beach, you will have to increase € 300 the balance of your Cuenta Joven in order to be able to run away with the exclusive towel of Spider-Man. That is, when it finishes the month have to have€ 300 more than the previous month. At the end of the month will watch the total "My First Account " balances and "Cuenta Joven " and we will assign the promotional gift at 20,000 clients with great balance that month. To be clearer, will check the increase of€ 300 these days: 31 May with respect to 30 April 2012

30 June with respect to 31 May 2012

31 July with respect to 30 June 2012 If you corresponds the towel, you will arrive at your usual branch throughout the promotion and them will communicate it to you.

AS TO PARTICIPATE IN THE PRIZE DRAWS

Only will have to have a balance equal to or more than€ 300 in your Cuenta Joven at the close of every promotionalmonth. For every€ 50 of balance that you have in your Cuenta Joven you will give a point to achieve: 1,050 Entrances : 50 for the premiere (pending date) and 1,000 for the film (6 July in cinemas). Balance ?€ 300 on 31 May

12 Consoles PS Vita + game. Balance ?€ 300 on 30 June

Trip to New York with hotel in Manhattan 4 people so that invite whom want. Balance ?€ 300 on 31 July If you have a balance higher than€ 300 in those 3 dates, participated in all prize draws We will send you for mail numbers of prize draw with which have participated. We will publish on the website the winning numbers of each prize draw and if result awarded person will get in touch with you.

Recuerda that your Cuenta Joven is free, between other advantages, when belonging to the group "Bankia WITHOUT commissions"

Valid promotion of 15/05/12 to 31/07/12, inclusive for "My First Account " or "Cuenta Joven "titleholders, that they fulfill all demanded requirements in notarial bases. Limited articles to 20,000 uds/month. Prize draw for balances ?€ 300 to 31/05: 525 double entrances. Date prize draw 12/06/12. Prize draw for balances ?€ 300 to 30/06: 12 PS Vita. Date prize draw 12/07/12. Prize draw for balances ?€ 300 to 31/07: 1 trip to New York. Date prize draw 13/08/12. The prize will be subject to the taxation in force and it will will be assumed by the client in the corresponding PERSONAL INCOME TAX statement. See full conditions of the promotion in the deposited Bases in the presence of a notary and available in Bankia branches and here