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This artist's conception shows the New York Wheel, which will rise 630 feet, dwarfing every nearby North Shore structure. (Courtesy of New York Wheel)

It's almost the perfect — and perfectly cruel — good news/bad news joke:

The good news?



After contending with sketchy mass transit forever, Staten Island is finally getting a subway.



The bad news?



It's a video simulation thrill ride intended as another way to attract and entertain visitors who come to the New York Wheel which is due to open in 2017, according to the latest information from the developers.



New York Wheel CEO Rich Marin unveiled the plans for what's being called a "4-D ride" to a contingent of tour operators on Wednesday afternoon last week at the site where the massive, 630-foot Ferris wheel will be built on the North Shore waterfront.



Dubbed, the "Time Train," the attraction will simulate a ride in a subway car through a fictitious tunnel underneath the Upper Bay. Like other "4-D" rides, it will include a three-dimensional video accompanied by synchronized special effects that ride-goers will be able to feel as well as see and hear.



By way of explaining the inclusion of this new, additional wrinkle on what will be the world's tallest Ferris Wheel, Mr. Marin simply said, "We are a harbor attraction."



The Wheel's developers also plan to install a A 24-hour webcam will also be installed at Robbins Reef lighthouse offshore, so viewers can see both the construction of the Wheel and Empire Commons in progress and occasional light shows there. That webcam supposed to be in place by next year, when construction on this major economic development project is scheduled to begin.



Of course, Mr. Marin and the developers see all this as the icing on what is expected to be a very popular cake on the neglected North Shore of Staten Island. So their headline would be something on the order of "But wait! There's more!"



Islanders' different take



Staten Islanders, however, see the situation somewhat differently, as we've come to expect.



Far from being excited about the prospect of the "Time Train" alongside the New York Wheel, a number of commenters on SILive.com looked askance at the whole enterprise.



A poster who calls him- or herself hesse12 wrote, "Coney Island here we come. Glitzy cheap junk, anything to make a buck."



To which ...And Justice For All added: "A half rate amusement attraction in an old, somewhat economically depressed area . With a ballpark too. Wow, it will be like Coney Island. But without the beach. Wow, it will be like Coney Island. But without the beach."



But a lot of the commenters made the point we alluded to above: This theme-ride subway is the closest Staten Island will get to having a subway line.



A poster calling himself winkthekink wrote: "The irony of it: Staten Island can't have actual subway service; nooo, we get a



Another, mailman, said, "Just build a real one going to the city, then we won't need these ferry boats that are crashing and breaking down all the time. Plus we'd have to pay a subway fare making millions for the city coffers."



SebastianGrimm, wrote, "Tourists get the 'subway' and Staten Island commuters get the shaft."



Poster greatkills said: I am OK with the article and the Wheel. What really, really, really bothers me is the fact that we have been advocating for a subway tunnel to Manhattan for almost a decade. And the result? Not even a study!!!"



And alexei wrote merely, "Oooooooooooooooooooooooo...I can hardly wait."



As the late great Rodney Dangerfield would have said, "Tough crowd! Tough crowd!"



Let's hope the Wheel and the Time Train draw as many tourists from Brussels and Birmingham and Beijing as Mr. Marin and Co. expect, because it looks pretty certain that these Staten Islanders — and probably a few others — won't want any part of these projects once they're up and running.







