To all those who thought the British Press Awards - traditionally a carnival of hate - had for once passed off peacefully, read on.

After years of outright hostility and alcohol-fuelled misbehaviour, it seemed that the British Press Awards was set to settle into a fairly convivial night of mutual backslapping and bonhomie.

Until, that is, TV presenter and Sun journalist Jeremy Clarkson ambled over to the Mirror's table and approached Daily Mirror editor Piers Morgan. As the two egos collided, all hell broke loose in what shall henceforth be known as the Rumble in the (tabloid) Jungle.

First off Clarkson - who had clearly had a drop or two to drink - told Morgan exactly what he thought of his burgeoning TV career. "Now that you're in my world of telly, I can tell you you're crap," he said, according to eyewitnesses.

Monkey has documented previous clashes between the two - the Top Gear presenter tipped a glass of water in Morgan's lap on the final Concorde flight in retaliation for some unwelcome photographs of him published in the Mirror.

With a crowd gathering in time-honoured playground fashion, the bell rang for round two.

There is some disagreement about what happened next. Clarkson - weighing in at what he admits are "heavyweight" proportions - claims Morgan slighted his wife in fairly base terms. The Mirror editor, meanwhile, says the two had an animated discussion about the paper's stories focusing on Clarkson's private life.

Incensed, Clarkson then attacked, swinging a right hook at Morgan. More words were exchanged before another two swift blows connected. It was more Audley Harrison than Mike Tyson, and Morgan shot back "Is that all you've got?" in a moment remiscent of Muhammad Ali in the original Rumble in the Jungle.

"He then tried to headbutt me - missing my nose by about an inch," explains Morgan. "I think it is fair to say he was a little inebriated. He did then try to apologise but sadly I wasn't massively enamoured by this gesture, given the mounting inflammation to various parts of my skull - although I've frankly taken worse batterings from my three-year-old son. I don't think it helped that Jeremy didn't win his award last night."

Clarkson, in conciliatory mood this morning, said: "He's won really. I've hurt my finger and he's fine.

"It's all true what you heard. This is just one in a long line of clashes. We'll have to kiss and make up," he added.

The Sun's motoring editor Ken Gibson and former Sun editor Kelvin MacKenzie's brother, Craig, were also caught up in the melee. Gibson manfully warded off any further challenges with the cry: "I'm warning you, I'm from Newcastle."

Clarkson, for his part, was later seen repairing to the Windows on the World bar and declaring that he "did it for all of Britain". He awoke this morning with a bruised finger and is off to Barbados on holiday tomorrow. As luck would have it, so is Morgan. Round three anyone?

· To contact Media Monkey email monkey@mediatheguardian.com or phone 020 7239 9857

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