BMW… a brand known for a multitude of reasons both good and bad. On one hand they are a blend of big grills, flashy status and grime music video cameos, on another you’ll be faced with mounting repair bills, run-flat tyres and a ‘why won’t this sodding stain come out the headliner’ from the Mrs.

It may come as a surprise then (or not if you’re mechanically inclined) to hear that BMW isn’t all that it lives up to be, especially down in the slums of poverty spec 520Ds, 318Ds and the dreaded 116i; names that spark as much excitement as your mates used lighter.

I realise this review’s started rather dreary, but alas you’ve got to shovel the sh@$ to clear the path:

Engines

Have you ever been on a cheap holiday to Magaluf or Turkey, and come across a wealth of expensive watches, Rolex’s and the like? Well you’ll also know that they break 10 minutes after landing back at Gatwick, such is a similar story with BMWs engines. Designed to fail.

The e60 520D had two variations of the engine, the M47 and the N47. The N47 is the one to steer clear of unless you hate money, with timing chains suffering from excessive premature wear and prone to snapping. The M47 engine was featured in the pre-LCI version (2004-2006) and doesn’t suffer from as many issues. The car may not be as new, but you’ll keep moving for longer…

Interior

Having been in both an LCI and pre-LCI E60, I can safely confirm there’s little in the way of build quality issues in either. Nearly everything feels well screwed together, however this isn’t a blog full of showroom fresh minters. For those higher-mileage workhorses out there, I must admit there can be an annoying squeak from the plastic doors and other trim while on the move. The door cards also have a nasty habit of popping off if being pulled shut, its surprising how many older BMWs have this issue.

Everything you touch feels like it was designed to be touched, soft plastics everywhere! Yet this doesn’t feel cheap, it must be noted BMWs standards on luxury have gone through the roof in recent years. I can almost compare it to a 90s Jaguar in terms of tactile interior switchgear, however the Jag is in another league of its own (coming soon).

Thankfully, most of the fiddly buttons have been replaced with BMWs iDrive system. this makes the cabin feel a lot more modern than it actually is, however the system really feels its age at this point.

In terms of cabin comfort, I’ve managed to sleep in one thanks to the cabin insulation successfully drowning out faint motorway noises; can your Vauxhall Corsa do that? Thought not.

Exterior Looks

My girlfriend would disagree, but like Katy Perry; bit of a minger to start out with but got better with age, enough said.

Driving Experience

The E60 benefits from an aluminium front. This helps counteract the heavy engine, allowing near 50/50 weight distribution. Put on a decent set of tyres and this machine will grip and keep on gripping, I cannot stress enough how good the handling is. Even in the poverty spec 520D variant, acceleration is punchy and the turbo has a knack of coming on just as you need it.

The car pulls smoothly and effortlessly on motorways, having a 6th gear irons out noises further. The manual gearbox can be springy however, making gear changing seam like a chore rather than something you’d actually want to do.

Appeal

Okay lets be honest, it’s boring. The sort of person who buys a car like this will be more relying on the brands current popularity in modern culture, such as Yxng Bane’s music video for ‘Vroom’.

This is probably why I bought one, as a university student who gets bored of cars easily, it’s the perfect throwaway glam car to take you to your Saturday job whilst feeling like the CEO. Install some LED halo lights and you will literally feel like your driving the poshest car in your local Lidl.

Modifications

The BMW E60 has a cult following, particularly internationally. Go on Instagram and type E60, I guarantee there will be at least one homemade music video from a 20-something in Argentina. Each to their own I guess…

In terms of aftermarket accessories, expect to find almost everything you need from decat exhausts, to custom moulded boot wings; you really can make this car your own.

Insurance Hacks

For us gen Z’s, these cars can still seem out of range, especially if you’re 17-18. Put it this way, E60s are massively undervalued by insurance companies so use that to your advantage. Third Party Fire and Theft works best when finding the cheapest quotes on these and really do take care when setting your renewal date. One weird trick I found was to insure the car just after the New Year, it will save you anywhere between £400 and £1000 based on 10 attempts in several different regions including Greater London.

A teenager can expect to usually pay under £2000 per annum for insurance on a 520D.

It doesn’t matter what variant of 520D you buy, the M Sport is just as cheap. Purchase at your own risk however, as a cheap used M Sport probably hasn’t been the best looked after and could cost you far more in the long run than a seemingly boring ex company car.

Expect to pay anywhere between £1200 and £2000 for a decent used example, 525D’s may be cheaper to buy but insurance can be anywhere from £5000 upwards, you have been warned!

Verdict

Overall, the E60 520D is a great car to drive, looks and feels classy and can shunt your laundry between your parents house and your student accommodation. What’s not to like?