A number 3 means that I feel discomfort, but I can get on with my day and even preoccupy myself with other things. A number 7 means I am barely able to talk because that is a trigger for my facial pain from trigeminal neuralgia. When that happens, I use sign language to communicate with my daughter.

If I give a number 10, I will be in the ER and will need the doctors there to listen to me because I know the only medication that will stop the flare. I have only reached 10 three times in my life, so you will need to know what it means when I have it. I won’t be able to talk. I’ve found that IV Dilantin is the best thing for my worst flares, but I’ve had doctors unwilling to give it.

If I’m at number 11, I will be unconscious and talking to a dream doctor so I will trust you have that part covered.

Like I said, you did not pick an easy job. But, neither did I. Please don’t forget that I did not choose this. Our appointments go by so quickly and sometimes there’s isn’t enough time to ask questions. I need a little extra time to talk about side effects or a possible procedure. Can we make sure that’s possible?

You will need to get to know me. I have trigeminal neuralgia and multiple sclerosis. I am a mother with a beautiful, wonderful, kind, smart and silly 7-year old daughter.

I am disabled by pain 24/7, but want to work with you to change that so I can care for my daughter and play with her; so I can call my friends and clean my basement; so I can do my four-month old bills; and wake up and actually smile genuinely and fearlessly one day.

I promise I will sign your pain contract and follow it faithfully, but you need to sign mine as well.