LG is about to launch a wearable for kids that lets their parents listen in on them. There's obviously nothing wrong with wanting to keep young children safe in any way we can.

But is a device that tells us privacy -- and potentially parenting -- is dead, really something we want strapped to the next generation of technology users and makers?

Look at the children. Look at their faces. Why are they so happy? you are probably asking yourself. That enviable childish glee, is it because they found out unicorns are real? That there is a world at the bottom of the garden inhabited by fairies, or one atop a particularly tall tree called Faraway.


We may as well go all the way and just implant kids with a tracker chip. It's the only way to be sure we know where they are at all times

Nope.

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These are the faces of children that have handed over all notion of privacy and selfhood to their parents.

And that's okay -- they are pretty young, after all. But to be this gleeful about it is a little worrisome.


KizON is an LG-made wristband that provides people with "a convenient way to keep track of their young children's whereabouts", and lets concerned parents listen in on said youngsters. Live. The release delivered alongside this picture tells us the South Korean company is about to "extend the wearable experience to parents with children", which is the key thing about KizON. Because it's clearly not about the kid's enjoyment at all -- LG isn't even pretending that's what it's about, with no sign of any intriguing or educational functionality in sight. It's about parental paranoia.

Again, I'm totally okay with this. I imagine my values around privacy will go out the window if I have children, and I'm certain I will happily stalk a teenage daughter who's heading out on a school night for a "sleepover with friends".

The uncomfortable thing is this is squarely aimed at parents, whose paranoia the device's very existence plays on. On top of this, it is boldly introducing the notion that privacy means nothing when it comes to technology and our modern environs, and to children that are either not old enough to attend school or only just starting.

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Before nailing their ABCs, these young mites are being delivered the same message that a section of the public is only just starting to push back against -- that it is okay for us to absent-mindedly hand over our right to privacy.


In no small part thanks to Edward Snowden we have begun to question the logic of allowing technology companies to infiltrate every corner of our lives and sell that data to companies, or even governments, for potential purposes unknown to us. All for the privilege of using free services. It feels as though KizON is a beginner's anti-privacy tool, training the next generation to forget about all this NSA nonsense and get on with living life as something of an open book. Today, we have become used to conversations focussing on the implications of living in a post-privacy world. KizON's existence suggests we have totally given up on the idea that we can reclaim that sense of privacy and autonomy.

Are we really so eager to pretend to the next generation, that these things never existed in the first place?

The wristwatch, which is stealthily decorated with animated characters to soothe the child into acceptance (the only sign of a design feature vaguely aimed at the individual LG wants to wear it all day, everyday), facilitates parental stalking through something it calls the One Step Direct Call. This button allows kids to call one number, preloaded by their parents using an Android device. The parent can also call the child, and receive constant GPS updates on their location. Here comes the kicker. If the child does not answer the call, the KizOn automatically connects through so the parent can listen to their child via a built-in microphone. The parent can also set the device to send it location alerts throughout the day, which will appear on their own Android device, and if the KizOn's battery drops below 25 percent (it lasts for 36 hours), the parent will get another alert.

There are obviously hundreds of holes with a product like this.

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For one, when president and CEO of LG Electronics Mobile Communications Company Jong-seok Park said at the product launch -- "wearables allow us to stay connected without the worry of losing a device" -- it sounds suspiciously like he's never met a three-year-old. They can lose their pants if they want to.

KizOn relies on the child not smashing something constantly attached to them, it relies on the child not taking it off when it's annoying them, and it relies on another particularly snotty-nosed child in the playground not stealing/smashing it.

These are the general day-to-day tribulations most children encounter, and at predetermined locations like schools and playgroups where they are constantly monitored by parents. In fact, where a pre-schooler is likely to go without their adult or guardian, thus meaning they require a tracker, is a mystery to us.

Unless the paranoia LG is stoking extends to nannies or extended family members the parent does not fully trust (pretty sure the kid would not be with them, if that was the case, though)? And if the worst happened, and the kid did go missing or was taken, surely we may as well go all the way and just implant them with a tracker chip. It's the only way to be sure we know where they are at all times. Then there's the winding road of what can happen if someone decided to hack the device microphone. We already know baby monitors have been hacked. There's no reason to think KizOn won't have the same flaws and vulnerabilities common to many devices.

Like other devices that propose to be for safety and security, it's also perfectly likely that a reliance on technology will engender a relaxed attitude that says there's no need to watch our kids anymore. When regulatory bodies began telling us that filters and age verification should be mandatory to protect children from online pornography and other evils of the internet, the argument was raised that more controls might simply lead to lax parenting. Parents should be educating their children on digital literacy and online safety, not avoiding the conversation in the hope that technology will make it redundant.

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The conversation will never be redundant, because there is no such thing as a perfect internet filter or age check system.

Equally, conversations about safety in the real world are just as important as they were before the days when we began gazing listlessly at our smartphones for answers.

Jong-seok Park got it wrong when he said LG is all about incorporating wearables into "consumers' lives". Because he also began introducing KizOn by speaking about the opportunities in the market afforded by the existence of "children as well as the elderly", whom he calls "ideal customers". They are not customers, or consumers. They are at the opposing ends of humanity's extensive vulnerability chart, while the KizOn consumer can be found among the paranoid -- or perhaps even the neglectful -- that lie somewhere in between.


But don't worry, the polythiourethane band is eco-friendly, and it comes in green as well as pink and blue -- in case we're worried about gender stereotyping. So we're doing a degree of good when we strap this onto some unsuspecting, gleeful, trusting arm.

That grin above is starting to look an awful lot like a grimace.

KizOn will launch publicly on 10 July in South Korea before shipping to North America and Europe in the third quarter of this year.