After receiving flak from many sections of the party for his controversial remarks that Rahul Gandhi ought to apologize to the Muslim community for his equally controversial ‘ISI in touch with disgruntled Muslim youth’ remarks at a public rally, controversial Minister Jairam Ramesh distanced himself from his extremely controversial remarks.

During an interaction with Congress party workers and assorted Rahul Gandhi loyalists, the Union Rural Development Minister found himself on the backfoot and turned contrite. “I agree I f***ed up,” Jairam told hurt members of the Rahul Gandhi fan brigade. “No question of it, my statement has hurt the entire party and if you want me to apologize, I will apologize.” The MIT trained Minister also went on to credit Rahul Gandhi for asking him to apologize. “I spoke to Rahul after I made those remarks and he told me that what I said was nonsense. I am grateful for Rahul once again showing me the right path.”

Jairam Ramesh’s controversial remarks had triggered disquiet across the country with hot-headed members of the TNYC picketing the house of Bangalore based Ramesh Ramanathan, an I-banker turned social worker who runs the NGO, Janagraha. Later Ramesh Ramanathan said he was expecting the attacks. “With a name like that, and with Bangalore being so close to Chennai, I knew I was toast, yaar,” he told The UnReal Times. Chennai based Tennis great, Ramesh Krishnan, was also accosted by some disgruntled TNYC youth, according to reports.

In related news, the UPA regime is mulling a new scheme “Rajiv Gandhi Rahul Gandhi Bhashan Suno Yojana”, under which anyone who can sit through five minutes of Rahul Gandhi’s speech will get Rs. 500 and a voucher to have biryani at any restaurant of their choice. “It is a brilliant scheme that admirably combines the twin goals of poverty alleviation with Gandhi family marketing. First, only the truly desperate will want to avail of the scheme, thus minimizing targeting errors. Second, we can hope to fill venues for Rahul baba’s rallies to at least 35% capacity after spacing out chairs,” a senior Congress leader privy to the scheme revealed.

(With inputs from columnist, Shefali Vaidya)