Denied Yet Again

"It's a-me! Calling about my claim's denial!"

"Thank you for calling Kaiser Mushroomamente, this is Candace, can I help you?"



"Hi-a Candace, it's-a me, Mario!"



"Okay Mario, can I have your last name please?"



"Mario."



"Okay, Mr. Mario, what can I do for you?"



"I'm a-calling because I got this letter in-a the mail saying I've-a been denied coverage due to a pre-existing condition!"



"Okay, one second. Was this for your medical mushroom prescriptions?"



"No, this was-a the surgery I had on the sixth."

"Ah, okay Mr. Mario, I show that procedure was not covered under your existing policy."



"I know-a that already, that's why I'm-a calling!"



"Okay, well what can I help you with?"



"I want to know-a why it wasn't covered!"



"Okay Mr. Mario, I'm showing that your policy does not cover Bullet Bill injuries."



"How can that be? What-a the hell am I-a paying for, then?"



"Well, sir, all I can tell you is that your policy wouldn't cover this procedure."



"I would have-a never gone to world 7-1 if I'd known that!"



"I understand, sir. I'm sorry. Is there anything else I can help you with?"



"This is going to bankrupt me! I don't have that kind of coin lying around! What-a am I supposed to do?"



"Well, sir, I can transfer you to our Accounts Receivable department and they can try to work with you on an affordable repayment schedule with the hospital."



"You can't-a get blood from a fire flower, lady!"



"Okay sir, I'm sorry I couldn't help you further. Thanks for calling."



Wear this shirt: To the hospital. The nurses will get a kick out of it while they patch up your broken head.



Don't wear this shirt: While negotiating a settlement with the hospital.



This shirt tells the world: "You think you want socialized medicine? See how it's working out for the Mushroom Kingdom."



We call this color: Aetna Blacklisted me.

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