Chapter Twenty Four: Worth

Pyrrha woke up feeling rather refreshed.

I suppose a full night's rest would make anyone feel lively. Pyrrha couldn't remember the last time since she had slept so much, with nary an annoying early morning alarm in earshot. All was serene, and it felt for a moment that nothing could ruin it.

Pyrrha let loose a massive yawn as she slowly sat up, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes before looking around. As the soft light fluttered through the curtains and illuminated the room, she noticed that she was not at her dorm room. It only took a moment for her to remember; right, hotel in Atlas.

Soon after, all her memories from the days before came back to Pyrrha, particularly the previous day. It was as though her good mood was a balloon that had just been popped with an unsettling 'bang!' Pyrrha let herself fall back onto her bed, wanting nothing more but to hide deep into her sheets, alone with her thoughts.

I lost. That thought rang unpleasantly in her head. I lost, plain and simple. There was nothing simple about it at all - not for Pyrrha, anyway. I can't even remember the last time that I did lose. After winning for so long, Pyrrha had forgotten what it was like to taste defeat. More than that, though, Pyrrha couldn't understand why it all felt so painful. Which it shouldn't be! I've lost before, it's a thing that happens to everyone.

Yet that didn't excuse the way she'd been acting towards Ruby. A frown etched itself deep into Pyrrha's face as her guilt grew. She really was trying to make sure I had a fun time yesterday, but all I did was rain on her parade. She even tried to do the things I like, even though I was trying to go to places that she'd enjoy. Worse still was the fact that she had invited Ruby on the trip, promising a fun mini-vacation, but was doing nothing but be grumpy when they finally had some free time. That wasn't the worst of it, however.

Pyrrha had never snapped at anyone like she snapped at Nora last night, and the shame at losing control of her emotions like that burned in her. That was completely uncalled for on my part, and now she thinks I'm actually angry at her. For such a robust girl, Nora had surprisingly thin skin, and Pyrrha could see that outburst crushing her friend. Great, so not only have I been rude to my best friend, but Nora probably thinks I hate her. The knot of guilt she felt twisted in her like a knife.

It frustrated Pyrrha that she couldn't understand why she was acting out to such a degree, even if she did lose. I've never found Nora's rants to be that bad before; it's always fun to listen to her be excited about something even if it's a bit absurd… and I usually have far more fun with Ruby.

What is wrong with me? Pyrrha pinched the bridge of her nose as she let out a defeated sigh. I should call Nora first before trying to make it up with Ruby-

The sound of the bathroom door squeaking open pulled Pyrrha from her thoughts as Ruby came out, while toweling off her hair, causing the sulking redhead to perk up a little. It was only a few seconds later that her footsteps came to a stop a few feet from Pyrrha's bed. "Oh, hey Pyrrha, you just waking up?"

"I've been up for a little while... just trying to get myself out of bed, to be honest." Pyrrha guiltily admitted, as a small smile stretched across her lips. "How long have you been up for?"

"Eh, an hour?" Ruby gave a small shrug as she dried her hair. "Did you sleep well?"

"Well enough," Pyrrha stated shortly after a moment.

"That's good… so what's up?"

"Hm?" Pyrrha noticed that Ruby was giving her a concerned look. "How do you mean?"

Ruby frowned; evidently, this wasn't the answer she was looking for. "You've been acting… off since yesterday, so something has to be up."

"I'm fine Ruby, really." Pyrrha tried to put on the most reassuring smile she could muster, in an attempt to put her friend at ease.

The effort failed miserably as Ruby kept staring at her, clearly unconvinced. "We've been friends for a while, Pyrrha, so I can tell when something is up. Besides, I'm not RWBY's team leader for nothing, y'know…what's wrong?"

Pyrrha's halfhearted smile disappeared as she shied away from the perceptive silver eyes, giving a small sigh and fidgeting with the bed sheet. "It's… complicated."

"Well, maybe I can help?" Ruby hopefully suggested as she sat on the edge of the bed.

"Perhaps." Pyrrha favoured her with a small smile for a brief moment. "But it's something that I might need to solve on my own."

"O-oh. Okay." Ruby deflated with those words. "Are you sure?"

That was actually a really good question; can I really figure it out on my own?

If the past day had been anything to go by, the answer would be a resounding "no". After all, if she had been able to figure out whatever was going on with herself, Pyrrha wouldn't have been in such a foul mood.

On one hand, Pyrrha had wanted to just be left alone yesterday, and not have to think about anything; Ruby not picking up on anything being amiss was exactly the sort of thing that she wanted. On the other hand…

There was this desperate, conflicting want for her best friend to pester her until Pyrrha was finally forced to share what was going on. Then she'd have someone who would understand what was going on, who could help her figure out what was making her feel so off.

If I keep trying to hold this in, I'm just going to snap again. The memory of yelling at Nora flare shamefully in Pyrrha's mind, I don't want to do that to another one of my friends…

"…on the other hand, perhaps it would be best to share." Suddenly Ruby had a huge grin across her face… right as Pyrrha's stomach loudly grumbled. "Would you mind if we waited until after breakfast? I really didn't eat much last night. It could even be room service, if that's okay with you?"

"Ooo, I've never had room service before!" In a flash, Ruby was darting towards the phone sitting on the nightstand.

In the end, Pyrrha couldn't resist Ruby.

Breakfast turned out to be an awkward affair.

Pyrrha turned over her thoughts in silence as she tried to figure out how to best explain the whole thing to Ruby, who waited politely opposite her for an explanation. Nevertheless, she could see Ruby fidgeting anxiously out the corner of her eye, no doubt hoping for her friend to finally speak up.

As Pyrrha raised another spoonful of oatmeal to her lips, she realized that there was no clear way of explaining what was going on - I suppose I'll have to start simple. "I lost." It almost sounded stupid to say it so plainly, but that was the first thing that came to mind. The words left a bitter taste in her mouth.

The sudden breach of silence caught Ruby by surprise. "Uh, lost what?" she asked half in sympathy, half in confusion.

It took a moment or two before Pyrrha realized that she needed to be more explicit. "I lost the match yesterday."

"Huh? What do you mean? That fight was awesome! How could you have lost?" Ruby eyed her as though she had been babbling in another language.

"It may have looked that way, but my aura level dipped below seven percent by the end," Pyrrha quietly admitted before making the final connection. "By tournament rules, going below fifteen percent results in a loss. So, I lost."

"But it's not official or anything right?" Pyrrha nodded after a moment of consideration, as Ruby went on. "I mean, it's just an exhibition match, and it turned out to be a really cool one too!" A little heat rose to Pyrrha's cheeks from the compliment.

That outlook made sense to Pyrrha. After all, the sponsors for the event had made it quite clear how pleased they were with her performance. "Yes, well, the people running the event didn't seem to notice anything… lacking in me, either."

"So… what is it?" Ruby asked with a sliver of hesitation. "I mean, you lose outside of tournaments all the time! I've kicked your butt in sparring matches like… once a week… even if you win all the other times…" Ruby added with a flash of embarrassment, earning a small smile from Pyrrha.

"Yes, well, this was different," Pyrrha gently stated. "Sparring or training doesn't count, and I don't think anyone really feels good after a loss, Ruby."

"O-oh." Ruby's mouth opened and closed rapidly like a fish out of water – words were attempting to come out of her, but hesitation stopped them from being verbalized. "So that's what's getting to you…" Ruby eventually settled on.

"It's perfectly natural for people to feel bad when they lose." It sounded to Pyrrha like she was saying that more for her own benefit then Ruby's. "I guess I just don't know how to actually deal with it..."

"Huh?" Ruby's lips quirked downwards into a frown. "What do you mean?"

"I don't lose." A sad little sigh escaped from Pyrrha. "Not until now, anyway."

"W-wait… seriously?" Ruby stared wide-eyed at Pyrrha. "That's amazing!" The expression softened into confusion. "But wait, what did you think you'd feel like? When you'd lose, I mean."

"…I thought I'd be more at peace with it, actually." Emerald eyes flicked up, and were greeted to a surprised Ruby. "Everyone loses, eventually, so why should it be any different for me?"

"Well, yeah! You're kinda the least sore-losery person I know!" A worried frown made itself known across her lips. "Like, people lose all the time, and if no one but you knows about it, I guess I don't know why…"

Pyrrha had no answer for that, instead opting to fidget with her sash. Finally, after what felt like hours of indecision, she spoke up. "I used to… not excel as much as I do now in school."

"Snrk," Ruby snorted in disbelief, "You're, like, a model student… you're super smart, and strong, and pretty, and you always have the right answer… Weiss even gets kinda jealous when we study together."

"Thank you Ruby, that means a lot." Pyrrha could feel the heat rising in her cheeks as she awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck. "I wasn't joking. The first few months at Sanctum were actually really hard for me… as much as it pains me to admit it, I was faltering as a student."

Ruby's disbelief started to fade as she listened. "It wasn't until the Mistral Regional that things started to change." As Pyrrha reminisced, her attention slowly drifted to some other part of the room. "I somehow managed to qualify, and since all my friends were competing, I decided to join as well. I… I still remember how scared I was of embarrassing myself in front of everyone…" Pyrrha guiltily admitted before trailing off.

"And then you kicked all sorts of butt and became the winner…?" Ruby supplied when Pyrrha had grown quiet while trying to figure out how to properly articulate the next part.

"Actually, I nearly lost the first fight outright… at least, until my semblance activated for the first time."

Pyrrha stretched out an upraised palm, and a faint, dark glow encased it as several pieces of silverware floated to it. "It was like some kind of act of destiny, as childish as it sounds." A smile started to stretch across her lips. "It felt like I actually had a chance to be something other than average, so I took it. The match didn't last much longer."

That dopey smile only grew larger. "The cheering of the crowd, the feeling that I had won... I'd never felt anything so wonderful in my entire life. Like I was worth something, and no one could ever deny it."

The smile faded however. "Yet, that feeling, as gratifying as it was, was fleeting… after all, there would be a new winner next year. So I pushed myself harder, trained more, studied more for the next tournament… I had to live up to the previous performance. I had to win."

"That, um, that doesn't sound very healthy," Ruby pointed out anxiously. "Winning is nice and all, but that sounds kinda like an obsession."

"Perhaps. Perhaps not," Pyrrha noted after some hesitation. "At the time, it seemed like a positive obsession, a passion, even. My grades were going up, I was getting better at being a huntress… I thought I was doing the right thing."

A slow, creeping sensation of cold emptiness started to invade her senses. "It's what drove me to keep striving to fill the shoes of the 'Invincible Girl' moniker people kept giving me. All the late night training, perfecting every move, every motion's fluidity was done just for that. At some point, it became less about wanting to win and more about dreading a loss." It was a sensation that the she felt in every official fight - the fear of losing.

"Every time I won, that dread grew bigger and heavier. Each victory just became another loss averted." A painful laugh bubbled up, forcing its way out of her. "That's what I became in the end: a scared girl who couldn't bear to lose." Pyrrha's vision blurred ever so slightly as she wiped away a few tears. "And now I don't even have that."

In that moment, Pyrrha realized why the loss was hitting her so personally. Sure, the feeling of winning would have been nice, and the motivation that the dread of losing gave her was deeply rooted, but that wasn't what kept her fighting.

Winning gave her a sense of worth. It made her feel like she mattered for that brief moment in the spotlight, that her existence had some deeper meaning, some kind of destined fate that was greater than the average individual. Without it, she was just… Pyrrha. The thought of that was perhaps the most unsettling of all, causing her vision to blur and hands to shake.

"Pyrrha?" The gentle, concerned voice of her best friend pulled her out of her own deteriorating mental loop, nearly making her jump out of her seat. "You went quiet…"

"S-sorry." Pyrrha took in a deep breath, trying to calm her quivering hands with little success. "I-It feels like I'm all the way back before I was the Invincible Girl… like I'm worthless again."

"You're not worthless." A gentle hand clasped Pyrrha's own, calming it and causing her to look back up at Ruby. "Pyrrha, I'm not saying that 'cause your my best friend."

"I don't care about the Invincible Girl or any of that stuff. She's not the person I want to hang out with or train with or hug or anything." If Pyrrha's vision wasn't so blurred by tears, she might have noticed a slight blush tinge Ruby's cheeks. "That's not the one I care about."

"The Pyrrha that I care about is the girl who really likes origami, who sometimes guiltily eats deep fried strawberries, who really really likes scary roller coasters." Ruby's expression softened. "That's the Pyrrha that I care about. That's my best friend; the girl who felt selfish because she wanted to be happy and made roses out of paper to stick in someone's hair." For some reason Pyrrha felt more emotional because of what Ruby was saying than what the loss had ever made her feel like, yet in a way that made her feel far better than a win ever did. "She's the one I want to hold really tight and tell that everything will be alright."

Pyrrha was at a loss for words as Ruby went on. "You are worth so much more than some dumb tournament wins, Pyrrha. You always have been; just look around at all your friends. Sure, maybe we only met because you were famous n'stuff, but we stayed because you're 'Pyrrha', not the Invincible Girl… we don't care about that other stuff."

"But-" Pyrrha began, but Ruby cut her off and poked a finger up against her chest.

"You're worth more to us - and especially me - than anyone else."

Warmth rose up in Pyrrha's chest as she sat there, transfixed, her hand still clasped by Ruby's as her vision became fuzzier from hot tears. "Am… am I really worth that much to you?" Pyrrha finally asked in disbelief.

"Duh, of course you are!" Ruby's arms flew around her in a huge hug, the warmth that Pyrrha felt from the embrace only made what she felt inside more intense. It made Pyrrha feel… happy. "I wouldn't have said that if I didn't mean it!"

It didn't take long for Pyrrha's arms to latch onto Ruby as she reciprocated the hug. "I-I don't know what I'd do without you, you know that?" Even though Pyrrha was pressed against Ruby, she could still feel the teen start to smile.

"Hey, that's what best friends are for! Sometimes they just need to give a good kick in the butt every so often!" Pyrrha felt a giggle or two escape her as the tears finally started to dry. "But, um, do you need me to kick your butt anymore…?"

A real smile – not sad but genuinely happy – started to stretch across Pyrrha's lips at the question, as a very comforting warmth spread through her from her friend's concern. "No, no, I think I'm going to be fine Ruby, thanks. You'll be the first I'll ask if I do need my butt kicked."

"Hehe, Ruby Rose, professional butt-kicker!" A silence started to return, albeit an amicable one, as Pyrrha began to feel better in the protective embrace of her best friend.

"Do you still want to do something today…?" Pyrrha asked after a moment. "I'm feeling a lot better now."

"Honestly, I'm fine with just hanging out in the room." Ruby gave a small shrug. "I think I saw enough of the city yesterday."

"Ruby." Pyrrha extracted herself from the hug finally. "We didn't do anything that you wanted to do yesterday, and the only thing we've done today is sit around and watch me be mopey." Pyrrha was feeling rather embarrassed with herself for the outburst, as she awkwardly rubbed the back of her neck. "Sorry…"

"Pssh, it's fine!" Ruby waved it off. "That's what friends are for. Plus, we got room service… I've never had that before!" The smile gracing the teen's lips wavered. "For a while I thought it was my fault that you were feeling so down..."

Pyrrha blinked in surprise before her lips compressed into a slight frown. "Why were you worried about that?"

"Oh, uh, that, right… um…" Suddenly Ruby's eyes avoided Pyrrha. "I may have kinda sorta overheard you talking to Nora last night…"

"Oh. I see." Pyrrha's cheeks flushed red with shame at the memory as she guiltily fidgeted. "I still need to apologize to her."

"It'll be fine. Nora knows you aren't like that, right?" Ruby gazed at Pyrrha hopefully.

"Yeah…" Pyrrha slowly nodded. "I should do that soon." She glanced towards the clock. "Classes end in an hour, so I'll call then." Ruby gave an encouraging smile as Pyrrha allowed a small one herself. "Still, there must be something you want to do today?"

"Hmm…" Ruby tapped on her chin for a moment. "Nope!~" she chirped, sticking out her tongue. "Seriously, I'm fine with just ordering room service and watching some stuff on the TV." Rather suddenly and much to Pyrrha's surprise, Ruby's eyes went wide as she jumped up in excitement. "My favourite cartoon has a marathon today!" Ruby turned to Pyrrha. "Wanna watch that?"

"Well, that sounds grand." A lazy day of ordering room service and watching TV with her best friend did sound amazing to Pyrrha… except for the realization that the sweat from yesterday was still caked on her. "Before that, I'm pretty sure I need to shower." Pyrrha awkwardly rubbed her arms as she glanced towards the bathroom. "I may have been a little preoccupied last night."

"But the marathon starts in, like, five minutes! You don't have time for that!" Ruby's voice drew Pyrrha's focus back to her, startling the tall redhead for a moment. It was as if the most adorable look a puppy could give when it begged for a treat had been sharpened to almost lethal levels. "B-b-but the first episode starts really, really soon!"

"I… uh…" Pyrrha learned in that moment that sometimes, there were foes that were too great to even attempt defeating; Ruby giving a puppy dog look was one of them. "I guess I could… wait for a… commercial break…"

"Yay!" Ruby grabbed Pyrrha by the arm and dragged her over to the couch. "You're gonna love it! The main character is really… really…"

Ruby slowed to a crawl before the couch before turning back to Pyrrha. In place of that begging look was a greatly disturbed one as she pinched her nose close.

"You weren't wrong."

This turned out to be a pretty great vacation.

Ruby had decided on that a while ago. The dim glow of the TV was the only light in the room, darkness having fallen outside many hours ago.

True, there had been bad bits like watching Pyrrha emotionally break down, but they'd worked through it all. Plus, Ruby had enjoyed plenty, such as slow dancing with her crush a few nights ago, or watching the awesome fight, or even what they were currently doing.

At some point during the marathon, Pyrrha had fallen asleep against Ruby and was currently snoozing in her lap. Not only that, but somehow, definitely not by Ruby's doing, one of Pyrrha's hands was clasped against her own, their fingers intertwined. Not to mention the last twelve hours pressed together under a blanket as Ruby got to see Pyrrha turn into a serious fan of her favourite show.

Overall, a fairly good vacation.

That, however, wasn't the only reason Ruby felt so relieved. No, something was becoming rather obvious to Ruby from what Nora had told her.

Ruby had taken "Act natural" to mean precisely what it said - I just need to act normal. But given what had happened earlier in the day, Ruby had realized Nora had meant something completely different: I shouldn't 'act', I should just be myself.

As such, any worry over Pyrrha learning about her crush had evaporated when Ruby had comforted her; she had said things that were awfully close to admitting a crush. The feeling of openness had felt liberating, allowing her to admit how much she wanted to hold Pyrrha and how much Pyrrha meant to her… and somehow, it had worked out. Slowly, the line between her keeping the crush a secret and Pyrrha finding out continued to blur.

The moment of openness had ended, as Ruby still worried that Pyrrha might find out about the crush and that it would hurt their friendship in some irreparable way, so she had decided to bury the possibility of telling Pyrrha even further inside herself… even if there was a chance that her crush might reciprocate…

It's probably not a good idea to keep burying what I feel, Ruby glanced down at Pyrrha peacefully snoozing on her lap as their hands remained clasped together.

But I'm happy.

Editor/BETA: ASouthernRussian

Editor/BETA: Gorsouul

AU: I'M SO SORRY IT TOOK SO LONG TO COME OUT! D:

Life got busy for me, especially since I decided to compete in Reddit's July MonCon – which I did actually win, yay! I actually had a completed draft at the end of July, the problem was that it was crap, so complete rewrite had to happen.

Seriously, so many rewrites with this chapter occurred, it'd make your head spin.

Did it turn out okay in the end? I really, really hope it did…

I actually got to all the reviews and gave them all responses for once, so yay! :D

I really don't have much to say, today. No omake this time, seeing as Super Saiyan Cyndaquil is still trapped in Love Live idol hell. Some day he might escape, some day.

I'm hoping to have the next chapter for Acceptance out far soon, like next month. That's the goal! I'm guessing that if you've read this far, you're probably a fan of the Pyrrha/Ruby ship, if that's the case, you should check out my entry to the MonCon competition, 'Milk & Cereal', it's pretty cute! (and also my form of apology for being so late with this chapter D: )

Thank you so, so very much for your continued patience! Hopefully, this chapter was worth the wait, or it's time to go back to drawing board for me…

Thank you for reading, I hope everyone has a wonderful day! :D