evil

(Transcriber's noteAs all those who have ever ventured into the realm of fanfiction can testify, every single gem (and there are most certrainly gems there) is surrounded by ungodly amounts of dross. The trick, obviously, is to find and cherish the one while keeping far away from the other.However, it's impossible to deny that certain stories of the dross category are so bizarre, so unusual, so utterly - for lack of a better term - far out there, that for them to be lost would be a loss of a kind that simply cannot be tolerated. Thus, I feel it is my duty to (mmmph) help preserve at least one of these little pieces of uniqueness. (Heh heh.)The story I am about to present to you is called Sary. The name of the author has, unfortunately, been lost to time, and the ff.net version, too, has long since vanished. The MSTing section of an old website, hikaness.deep-ice.com, is, to the best of my knowledge, the only place where it can still be found. As such, I have been forced to (mweeheehee) format the story on my own, as well as mark its chapters. While I, of course, am completely unable to do this the way it was originally done (thank God!), I have tried to remain true to thespirit... of... the......Daaaahahahahahahaaaaa! Oh, I can't take it anymore! I mean, Jesus Christ. Oh, you poor saps, you! If you have half an ounce of brains, then for Pete's sake, get out of here! You do not want to see the monstrous LOTR canonrape that's about to follow. Trust me on this. Your vascular system will spontaneously collapse. But, if you have a braindeathwish, then by all means, scroll down. Just don't say I didn't warn you.)--- Sary[Chapter One]It was a dark night Legolas was walking in the forrest that was next to a tree Legolas heard sound from the bushes and go see what it was there was a girl child elf who had lovely blond hair that was long her face was slender round and she was eight years old Legolas fell in love with her immediadly when he met her and took her to live with him after five years Sary was round faced slender eyed 13 year old whose blond hair touched the ground Legolas decided to tell Sary she was chosen to destroy the dark lord sauron becouse she was the child of gods Legolas had gone to the library four years ago and read it from a book and immeadly realized that the child was Sary the book had a prophecy it went like this In the coming dark years a Child will be found from the forrest who will destroy the dark lord sauron with her godly innnocence that she got as a present from the gods who her parents will be the Child will be blond haired and slender round faced and will be found in the forrest when she's eight Legolas told Sary Sary said it can't be true i am your relative you told me so pretty one Legolas said sorry but I lied my love you are the descendant of gods you have to go to Frodo and take the ring from him Sary said well I'll go are you coming Legolas said I'm afraid I can't becouse I'm dying and then Legolas died Sary yelled NOOOOOOOOOO!! My love you will have the last kiss Sary kissed Legolas and then she went to find Frodo only Legolas's bow with her that she got from Legolas when she arrived to Frodo's cabin Frodo pulled her in and raped her and hit her with a sword but then the door opened and Aragon stepped in and killed Frodo and took Sary and headded for home[Chapter Two]Aragon took Sary. To his home Aragon put her in. His bed and said. Frodo had been posessed by Sauron that's why. He must have gone crazy. But why. Legolas didn't tell me. About the new taker of the ring. Who will also. Destroy Sauron Sary woke up. Happily and said. Hello Aragon I have a gift for you. Here it is a new sword. That gods have blessed. You can even kill. Sauron with it. It is so powerful. Now we're going to Rivandall. To see elf Eldorna he can bring Legolas. Back to life. So they left towards Rivandall on their way. To Rivandall Aragon said. Why did Legolas die Sary said. He did of shock. When he found out what. I am Aragon said. Well what. Are you Sary said. I am GOD!!!! Why don't you believe. Me do you believe me. Or shall I damonstrate. My power Aragon said. That's not necessary. Becouse I think I have fallen in love. With you I have fallen in love with you too Aragon. Said Sary. They had sex for the rest of the night. The next morning. They arrived to Rivandall Eldorna was waiting there. For them. Sary took Legolas's body. From her back. And Eldornna said. Legolas is dead. But I will bring him. Back to life. Eldorna said MUISTMOMM and Legolas was alive again. And said. Hello Sary. And kissed her Aragon said. Tsk tsk Legolas. Sary loves me. Legolas said. We have to have a DUEL!!!!!!! They started fighting. There. But Suddenly they both flew. Along the ground with force. Then Sary came and said. I love. You both that's why I stopped your fight. They all had passionaty sex all night...[Chapter Three]The nest morning when they had stopped having sex. A monkey appeared on the window! "Legolas said" YIKES A MONKEY IS BEHIND OUR WINDOW SARY KILL IT!! "Sary said" IT IS A GIFT FROM GODS TO US IT IS A MIRACLE MONKEY IT CAN HELP US!! Legolas opened the window and let the monkey in! The monkey attacked Aragon and digged his brains out! "Legolas said" WONDEFUL COME HERE MONKEY!! Monkey went to Legolas and Legolas humped the monkey! Sary got mad and "said" I'M GOING ALONE YOU PRICK!! Sary went to Sauron's castle and arrived to it's gate! Sauron opened the gate and threw Sary in jail. After a month Legolas wondered where Sary was. His wife Mr Monkey "said" SHE WENT TO SAURON'S CASTLE!! Legolas went near Sauron's castle but orcs appeared there! Legolas killed them and went on towards the prison and saw Sary there and let her out but at the same moment Sauron came there and started beating up Legolas suddenly "Sary yelled" I WILL STOP YOU EVIL SAURON I HAVE COME TO DESTROY YOU!!! "Sauron said" JUST TRY YOU LITTLE SLUT!! At the same moment Sary used her power and hit Sauron on the head with it but Sauron just laughed and "said" HAHAHAHAHAHAAA YOU CANNOT KILL ME!! Sauron started beating Sary but suddenly Sary heard a voice inside her head that "said" MY DAUGHTER USE YOU GODLY INNOCENCE BY CONCENTRATING HARD!! Sary concentrated and destroyed Sauron's head and the went back home with Legolas. Mr Monkey and Legolas adopted Sary and they all lived happily ever after(Closing note: Well, that's it. I say again, I warned you. Please deposit the fried remains of your brain in the piranha tank on the way out. Thank you.)