It’s just tough to see. The Red Sox begin their season with an 8-1 record, eight straight wins, all of which came against the Rays and the Marlins. Everyone saying this and that — the Red Sox haven’t played any real competition yet. It just hurts your feelings, you know? Like, can’t the Red Sox be a good team that just hasn’t played a real baseball team yet? They don’t make the schedule. Come on, guys. Let’s be reasonable about this.

Well, they’re gonna have to keep waiting to face a real team, it looks like. The Yankees came to town with their shiny new toy and their fancy new lineup with all the scaaary hitters they’ve got, threw their ace out there, and the Red Sox damn near got kicked out of the league for public execution. You think Dave Dombrowski wants to spend all day on the phone with the league offices because of what the Red Sox did to the Yankees on Tuesday night? No. He’s got better things to do with his time. You just hate to see that it had to come to this.

Mookie Betts, out of the leadoff spot, had four hits and a grand slam. JD Martinez swung that jumbo dong of his around to bang a double off the wall that drove in a pair of runs. Andrew Benintendi must’ve broke up with his girlfriend because he had a couple hits, a couple walks, and a couple RBI. Hanley Ramirez had a couple hits himself and drove in three. It was just a wild scene.

Got a couple tweets before the game about how the Yankees own Chris Sale. We’ve got the YES broadcast here at the Barstool office, and they were kind enough to share that Sale has the lowest ERA against the Yankees of any pitcher in history with a minimum of ten starts. He went out there and dealt for six innings, one earned run, struck out eight batters, and I’m pretty sure Giancarlo Stanton represented eleven of them.

Another day, another win. Nine in a row. #WinTitsRepeat #GoldBottles Build the Booby Box.

Final score: Red Sox 500, Yankees 1