If Car Dealers Made Honest Commercials, They’d Look Like This

August 24th, 2015 by Derek Markham

“Unlike any other purchase in life, you can’t buy this tiny rolling metal house online for a set price.”

Would you buy a car from Roger? Chances are, if you’ve ever bought a car through a car dealer, you’ve probably had to deal with guys like Roger, and thanks to the way the US has mandated the way new cars are sold in this country (through a franchise dealership model featuring one of the least trusted professions), that’s not likely to change anytime soon.

“You’re going to have to buy one of these eventually, even if you currently have one, and you’re going to have to buy this car from me, a legally-mandated middleman who buys up cars and sells them for almost no profit, unless I screw you over. Which I will.”

One thing you can continue to count on when it comes to new car sales are the commercials from local and regional dealerships, all of which claim to want to give you a sweet deal on a great vehicle, but which are so remarkably cheesy and inauthentic as to make you want to give them a taste of their own medicine. Which is essentially what the team at Cracked has done with the above, their latest Honest Ads release, titled If Car Commercials Were Honest.









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About the Author Derek Markham Derek lives in southwestern New Mexico and digs bicycles, simple living, fungi, organic gardening, sustainable lifestyle design, bouldering, and permaculture. He loves fresh roasted chiles, peanut butter on everything, and buckets of coffee. Catch up with Derek on Twitter, Google+, or at his natural parenting site, Natural Papa!