How to Fix a Broken Relationship

The other night I was watching a TV show called Bridezilla that showed a young couple in “love”, and yet every other scene would display them arguing and not getting along before the wedding took place. How their marriage is doing today? Have no idea, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it ended up going on the News.

I’ve heard of couples who enjoyed drama and fights, but there’s a point where it just becomes a toxic relationships that should be handled in the boxing ring. I have friends who remain with their partners simply because they’re too lazy to find someone else and would rather deal with the toxic relationship they’re currently in.

But that’s the magic of unhealthy relationships. It can either be the breaking or making point of a relationship.

An unhealthy relationship doesn’t mean the end of it. Perhaps you feel like you and your partner aren’t communicating like before. Or maybe someone cheated in the relationship and you’re questioning the route you should take.

It’s easy for me to say to dump someone who cheated on you from a one-night stand, but what if you were married to them for seventeen years and you have a family together? Would simply divorcing them be the best solution to take? This is a weird gray zone I’m not even comfortable with totally discussing because there’s too many external factors to consider.

When we reach a point where our feelings are hurt and respect lowered, we question where the relationship is heading. We might not want it to end, and yet all we see is the relationship heading towards a brick wall.

Due to my popular post about relationships, I decided to answer one of the biggest problems that couples face. It’s either the breaking or fixing point for every relationship experiencing trouble times.

That problem is when someone has a raid of negative emotions giving them horrible feelings that disrupts their natural behaviors. As a result, they push people out of their life without the intention of doing so.

If you don’t have enough time to read the entire article, I’ll provide 3 strategies to fix a broken relationship. From there, feel free to skim through the passage to get a good idea on what you need to know.

For my other readers, soak up these words and use them to correct whatever damage that’s been made to your relationship. The 3 strategies to apply when correcting a broken relationship is:

Staying Calm Using Effective and non-defensive communication Validating their Feelings

These 3 tools are meant to target the different areas of conflict we normally encounter in a relationship. How you use them will be up to you, but each is essential when dealing with a relationship on the verge of breaking.

Before using these tools, a recommended tip is to first reflect your life and relationship. Meditation could be a good exercise to exert. Another would be running or jogging long distances to shift your mind to a focused state.

Whatever you’re comfortable with is what you should aim for. After spending some alone time, ask yourself if the relationship is worth saving. If you’re questioning the reality of the relationship, look over this article that explains the signs of an unhealthy relationship. Once you settle for a decision, take the next step to correct the relationship.

Staying Calm

When dealing with a broken relationship, one of the key symptoms we notice is a heavy dosage of conflict. Learn to remain calm during a conflicted event because it increases the chance of your partner lowering their defense.

Shouting at your partner only brings more fire into the communication process. Words are powerful to convey a message, but our body language will be what changes their behaviorism.

Remaining calm during any violent interaction reduces our partner’s fury and calms the situation. This prevents hurtful words from being said and damaging the relationship anymore than it is.

A calm behavior breaks the negative energy our partner throws at us. It’s difficult remaining calm during their violent rage, and could be even tempting to be just as angry.

But build the strength to resist the temptation. Once you remain calm, it gets you past the anger and a chance to effectively and rationally address the problem that’s troubling the relationship.

If you have trouble remaining calm during a violent interaction with your partner, become aware of your emotions. If we don’t monitor the way our emotions react, they go into autopilot and we fail to see the warning signs of our rage getting out of control.

Have a level of conscious pointing at your emotions during an argument to prevent yourself from allowing your anger to get the best of you. We may feel anger and bitterness increasing as our partner release their rage upon us, but concentrate on remaining calm and waiting for your partner to cool down.

The next step to remain calm is to change your mindset during an emotional discussion. To better explain what I mean, whenever we get into an argument with someone, one of the first things we want to do is to attack them with hurtful words. We want revenge and go about it verbally to get back at them.

You might want to say abusive things like, “I think you’re stupid,” “You’re a horrible person,” or “No one likes you.” But those words will only worsen a relationship status because our partner would raise their defense and return those hurtful words back to us. So focus on calming your thoughts during an emotional argument and concentrate on saving the relationship.

Communicating Effectively

Once you get the chance to bring your partner into a “cool” state, effective communication is the next step to approach. This becomes tricky because many people aren’t good in this field. Humans tend to lack the skills to communicate effectively during an argument because of the conflicting nature by itself.

Couples who struggle with effective communication never reach a clear conclusion because they never get the chance to pass their thoughts over to their partner. The way to overcome this barrier is to not give your partner the assumption you don’t care about what they’re saying by overriding their words with your own opinions.

Good communication starts with giving clear, non-defensive words while displaying an equal balance of non-defensive listening. Communication during any conflict in a relationship is knowing when to speak at the right moment and when to listen. You have to use a good degree of eye contact and facial expressions to show you’re trying to make things better.

When given a chance to speak to your partner, do so in a calming manner so they understand what you’re feeling, and increases your chance to resolve the problem. It’s hard for people to continue yelling at someone who doesn’t show the same anger.

So focus on the problems in the relationship peacefully and limit your complaints and criticisms. When you’re tempted to allow your anger to get the best of you, recall the positive moments you had in the relationship and remind yourself why you’re fighting to keep it alive.

To easily resolve a broken relationship, use the time you’re given by addressing and identifying specific areas. Don’t only address the action that you or your partner previously made. Focus on the feelings you and your partner are suffering from. Whatever actions they did should be looked at as an external mistake. Look at their internal area so you could release that burden away from you both.

Perhaps your partner doesn’t feel like they’re not receiving the same type of affection they did in the past. Or maybe your partner is depressed about their current job situation and is taking it out by doing reckless acts.

By focusing on a specific behavior your partner may be suffering from, it brings you both closer to finding a way to fix it. Most relationships tend to fail because they ignore the internal problems bothering them both. Focusing on specific behaviors is what makes communication most effective and brings you both to fixing the relationship.

A key note to remember is knowing that effective listening isn’t always easy to accomplish. It involves more than just keeping your mouth shut and listening to your partner complaints until they cool down. You must show empathy and see the situation in their point of view.

You don’t have to agree with what they’re saying or excuse their actions, but demonstrate that you do understand them. If you’d like more information and methods on how to become an active listener, visit this page that provides you with useful techniques.

Validating their Feelings

Despite the abusive words your partner says to you or the anger they bring your direction, the one thing they’re searching for is for you to understand their feelings. They want to know you understand what they’re going through emotionally and they want their opinions to be respected.

Validating their feelings is perhaps the most effective technique in this list because you’re acknowledging their values and recognizing their pain. Even if you disagree with their thoughts and beliefs 100%, show validation to resolve the conflict and arrive to a new resolution.

Show your partner than you sincerely understand them so they don’t take anything you say as a sign of sarcasm. If you did something to hurt your partner feelings, take responsibility by admitting it to them. Don’t just apologize.

Apologizing is often a weak substitute for bad behavior. We only give apologizes if the problem could be easily fixed or it was an innocent mistake. However, when you have an issue that has the potential to break a relationship, give the reason you’re apologizing to convey you truly are sorry.

To solve a broken relationship, you need to answer a question that’s breaking you two apart. When both partners take responsibility for their actions, it makes the process easier to fix.

Or else, both partners will continue bickering about smaller problems that didn’t exist until that conflict. Keep in mind that good validation is listening to your partner effectively while speaking to them non-defensively to keep their defense lowered.

How to Fix a Broken Relationship

After using all 3 tools effectively, this will be the time to fix the broken relationship. You won’t have to worry about receiving a bulk of criticism from your partner because you calmed them down, listened to what they had to say, and accepted their thoughts and opinions.

However, if you and your partner can’t reach a calm level, take a break from each other by spending time apart. Spend a few hours alone while recollecting your thoughts and lowering your anger. This mentally prepares you on how to approach the future and identify what made you angry so you could avoid them later on.

Once you and your partner anger lowers, approach the issue again in a calm manner. From there, settle for a compromise on how to solve whatever issue you’re facing. It’s rare when both partners get what they truly want after a nasty argument. But so long as you both reach a peaceful conclusion you both can settle for, this creates a healthy relationship again.

You can’t expect your partner to do everything the way you want, and you have to learn to tolerate your partner’s behavior. Such as how they accept your flaws, you must accept theirs as well. No one is perfect and if you want to save your relationship, it’s important to remind yourself that important fact.

In final thoughts….

Fixing a broken relationship isn’t easy or fun. It requires showing a great level of empathy while effectively communicating with your partner. You might get tired and frustrated from the overall process, but it’s necessary for you both to get past the small issues and address what’s really breaking the relationship.

From there, that’s when you and your partner could face the bigger problems and find a way to fix them.

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A Guide to Overcome Jealousy in a Relationship

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