What in the name of Mike Barnicle, Jayson Blair and Patricia Smith was The Boston Globe thinking of yesterday, printing fake news — excuse me, more fake news?

And where exactly did the bow-tied bumkissers plagiarize this particular bad idea from? I mean, I haven’t seen any fake front pages on the WBUR website, or in any collections of old columns by Mike Royko or Jimmy Cannon — those traditional happy hunting grounds for Globe pipe artists.

By now you’ve seen yesterday’s “front page” of April 9, 2017, with the six-column headline about the impending Trumpocalypse: “DEPORTATIONS TO BEGIN.”

Would that it were, as Liveshot Kerry likes to say.

If I were on the copy desk, I’d have suggested:

“IMMIGRATION LAWS ENFORCED AFTER 8 YEARS OF BORDER CHAOS; Fewer U.S. citizens dying at the hands of drunken foreign gangbangers.”

The fake subheads included, “President Trump calls for tripling of ICE.” Yeah, right.

The real headline might be: “Trump tells ICE, Border Patrol to start arresting criminals again.”

Here’s another bogus Globe headline: “Riots continue.” What riots? Doesn’t the Globe tell us everyday that illegals are living in the shadows, like the 56 MS-13 members the feds just rounded up, doing the jobs Americans won’t do, like heroin dealing and machete murders?

Somehow, the Globe seems to think that deporting illegal aliens is a frightening thought to most Americans. It wouldn’t be the first time they’ve misread the public sentiment.

You could of course lay out similar front pages about other candidates. Here would be my splash headline for Hillary: “DOCUMENTS SHOW CLINTON LIED ABOUT …” Fill in the blank: Benghazi, being under fire in Tuzla, why she set up her private server, wanting to join the Marines, how she was against gay marriage before she was for gay marriage, how she was against putting illegals on Obamacare before she was for putting illegals on Obamacare, etc.

How about some headlines for Bernie Sanders:

“SANDERS CLAIMS U.S. DEODORANT CHOICES ‘CONFUSE’ AMERICANS.” Oh yes, that’s what he said, on CNBC. So who’s to say that on Bernie’s first day in office, we wouldn’t be reading: “President directs FTC to ban most aerosol BO sprays; roll-ons, creams also affected.”

Inside the Globe’s “front page,” an editorial headlined, “GOP must stop Trump” was almost exactly the same overheated screed they ran in February … just before Trump won the GOP primary here by 31 points. That’s the bad news — the Globe has zero clout. The good news — if you plagiarize yourself, the way the idle rich of Morrissey Boulevard did in yesterday’s editorial, is it really plagiarism?

One last quibble: shouldn’t the Globe “front page” have also included at least a couple of local non-Trump stories? You know, the kind of mush the wimps have been dishing out for so long: “Whitey Bulger: He kept the drugs out of Southie” or “Globe poll shows Coakley poised to crush Brown” or “Pay no attention to the genealogical reports: Warren IS an Indian,” or “Globe Exclusive: Crooked city councilor shows XXX porn at City Hall, claims it proves U.S. troops are raping Iraqi women.”

Someday these trust-funded Social Register legacies at the Globe will pay the ultimate price for their endless lies. I can’t wait to read that headline: GOODBYE BOSTON.

Listen to Howie 3-7 p.m. this afternoon on WRKO AM 680.