By Doug Abernathy

The troops, right? I love ’em. They’re the unequaled heroes of the free world. No one can come close to their celestial presence. They’re angels in camouflage. They can do no wrong. The longer we have these wars the longer we can enjoy their glories.

But there’s a dangerous aspect of the troops. There’s a specter haunting our concept of Liberty. Some of the troops don’t think exactly like me when it comes to politics. It’s actually a lot of them. We need to put an end to it.

If the troops don’t think exactly like me on all matters of politics, from my interpretation of the constitution, to economics, to social issues, then there’s a good chance they’re no troops at all.

Because why would all of these holy beacons of freedom ever question how I see the world? They wouldn’t. Those aren’t the troops that I know — even though the only troops I know are from my exact online communities that I have handpicked to substantiate my ironclad views of the world.

The most important thing we can do to handle all of these so-called “troops” who don’t think 100% like me is question their service in general. They need to know that I don’t think they ever served at all if they argue with anything I say online, and if they prove they served, it means they were poop troops.

They’re a homogenous lot that can only survive in the American lifestyle if they all think the same no matter their geographical, religious, political, racial, and overall socioeconomic upbringings. And none of them better test my worldview. I will make them pay by questioning whether they even served.

When you put on a uniform — which I’ve never done because I had some minor physical problems that excluded me from service — you accept a level of responsibility. It’s not the responsibility of dying or possibly dying in endless wars that I have deemed just and honorable. It’s the responsibility of thinking exactly like me on everything. If you don’t, I will make sure you regret ever having served our country and having an opinion as a result.

Thank you for your service. Unless we’re not on the same page.

Doug Abernathy is a retired truck driver. He lives in Atlanta.