Look how far we’ve come! “Kimmy’s in a Love Triangle” wasn’t what I thought a title of an episode would be after I started watching this show, but lo-and-behold, Kimmy has found herself with feelings for both Dong and Logan.

Logan is struggling with having competition in the romance department, and is used to getting his way, being a “Daddy’s Boy.” Logan tells Kimmy she can’t talk to Dong anymore, and it’s best to break it off her friendship with him.

Kimmy heads over to tell Dong they can’t be friends anymore, but finds out that immigration came looking for him, and instead deported all his co-workers as he was out on a delivery. So, instead of breaking it off with him, she invites him to move in with her.

Meanwhile, Titus is working on getting a promotion at work, but his boss doesn’t think he can play it “straight enough”, and he gets passed over for the job. He finds out, however, the man that got the other job is also gay. Titus asks him how he passes as straight, and he gets the name of a new acting coach.

The coach turns out to be Dean Norris, and he throws Titus through an intense straight acting boot camp. The end result: Titus finds it within himself to play it straight!

Xanthippe finds out about her parents’ divorce and is upset she has to go live with her real mom, Helene, back in Connecticut. She enlists Kimmy to help her stay in NYC. Always happy to help, Kimmy stages a scene with her and Xan, pretending to be prostitutes to convince Helene to leave her with her father. The whole production ends with Kimmy and Dong kissing, and then Dong leaving. Sadly, he can’t pretend he doesn’t have feelings for her anymore.

Kimmy then finds out Xanthippe isn’t actually the little punk kid that she pretends to be (who knew?), so instead of helping her avoid Connecticut, she calls her real mother to come over and see what a great kid she actually has. Xan heads back to Connecticut, mad at Kimmy, but probably more at home to do the things she really likes, like play the Oboe in band and go birding.

After all that’s happened, Kimmy decides that maybe Logan isn’t the guy for her, and goes after Dong as he is boarding a bus to leave NYC. She confesses that she likes him, and that Logan is out of the picture. Dong agrees to stay, but suggests maybe if they want to date, they should get married first.

Something, you know, for Kimmy to think about.

Favorite Quotes:

Titus: The last time I had two men fighting over me I was a table at the Fire Island arm wrestling match.

Kimmy: What would the Care Bears say about how you show it?

Logan: It would depend on the bear, Kimmy.

Helene: The only BS around here is butternut squash!

Helene: If this is your idea of a joke, you belong in a Woody Allen film, because I am not laughing.

Kimmy: You’re not some sort of Daddy’s boy that tries to dolphin me and then blimps.

Dong: I understand all those words separately.

Kimmy: You’re kind, and you’re funny, and both our names mean penis.

Kimmy: Logan is out of the triangle. It’s now just a bi-angle.

Dong: Do you mean a line? We need to work on your geometry.

What did you think of this episode of Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt? Share your thoughts in the comments below!

Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt is available for streaming on Netflix.