The moment you step off the runway, through customs, and into Montréal, you know you’re in for something a little bit different.

For starters, the language. All street signs are in French. The locals are as a rule bilingual. Ambient conversations take place in French, and you will be greeted in this chosen language unless you are the obvious tourist. If you don’t parlez-français, the locals will accommodate you in English; the majority are 100% fluent, and only some have thick Québécois accents.

By talking to an extremely inebriated man from a rural area – I think it was Alberta – I learned the worst curse word you can use in French Canada, which is the title of this post. Devolving from “tabernacle”, it’s an equivalent of the G-D bomb that we all know, love and/or hate so well.

Which brings us to… churches! They are a very important part of history and culture in Quebec, complete with magnificent architecture to gawk at and lots of museum stuff to read while you’re there. Oh, and Catholics like to build creepy candle crypts to worship dead people. There’s that.

I am sure throughout my travels in Europe the church stakes will continually escalate, most likely climaxing at La Sagrada Familia in Barcelona. But I have to say… Montréal, you’ve got some serious game. I mean, just look at these pictures of Saint Joseph’s Oratory! Try to get in a guttural “Tabarnak!” if you’re feeling particularly sacrilegious and/or amazed.

The absolute peak highlight was the inside of Notre Dame Basilica, which is featured at the top of this post. Very gothic. Don’t miss the cool pulpit on the left side of that one. Also not pictured here: a massive organ with seven thousand pipes! Here’s another picture for good measure, closer up.

Alright, enough about church. We’ve got some sinning to do! On my first day I walked to Parc Lafontaine, then tried the famous La Banquise poutine, thinking I earned it by hoofing it across town. Of course I then proceeded to pour high calorie beers down my gullet at one of the best small breweries I have ever graced with my amazing presence – Dieu du Ciel. An absolute must if you’re a beer lover!

And then it’s on to explore the Old Port, which is where most of the tourists go. The style of architecture is quite European, with cobblestone streets and tight alleyways. Even if crowds aren’t your thing is it a treat to walk around for one afternoon. Many of the popular tourist destinations are within walking distance, and I saw operators of boat tours and kayaking in the port.

Afterwards, I went up to Terrasse Nelligan, a rooftop bar attached to a hotel in the area, and directly behind Notre Dame. Here I had my best meal of the trip so far – a delicious gaspacho du jour, followed by a smoked duck salad containing kumquats, asian pears, arugula, walnuts, and other tasty ingredients I am forgetting. All complemented, of course, with some good cocktails and an after-dinner digestif. I’m going to need to eat gas station food for a week to recover from this hedonistic splurge.

Then is was time to experience what these qrazy Québécers had to bring to the party scene. I scored a $5 CAD ticket to Piknic Electric – a party in Parc Jean-Drapeau with deep house music and (of course) expensive drinks. It was fun to watch the locals dance and play one of my favorite spotting games: Drugs or Drunk? Spoilers: there were plenty on each side.

On my final day, I witnessed Montréal squeeze the last drop out of their short summertime’s heaving corpse. While there was electronic music all weekend for Labor Day, the Electro Parade was the big blowout, and people were losing their tabarnak’ing minds.

The weather was gorgeous and the music was varied – some extremely groovy beats, some hilariously bad dubstep from 2009. The crowd had their favorite floats, and I had mine. We can all agree that it was a good time and a great way to spend a Saturday afternoon – for free!

And that concludes my ramblings on Montréal! I hope you liked them. Overall, it was one of my most positive experiences with travel so far, with the unique history and the modern culture blending together into one delicious French Canadian smoothie. I did not make it to the Biosphere, La Ronde, the Lachine Canal, or many other worthy attractions I had on my master plan – so suffice it to say it is worth another trip at some point. I did, however, make it to Mont Royal, which is a contender for number one skyline view of a major city. I’ll leave you with a picture of that capstone experience now.