SCOTLAND has had quite enough of inconvenient reality, it has been confirmed.

A happy Scottish person

The nations 3-1 football defeat by England comes exactly two months after a referendum victory for unionism, provoking nationalist Scots to denounce the real world and its lack of co-operation.

Bill McKay, a Scotland supporting, pro-independence voter, said: I would have been happier not having the referendum, but instead campaigning for a ‘Yes’ vote indefinitely, sure in the knowledge that we would win an entirely hypothetical referendum.

So when the Scottish football team has a string of good results, the last thing we should do is play England.

Much better for Scotland to defeat other small European countries, thereby convincing ourselves that if we were ever to play England we would beat them five-nil.

McKay set out a plan for Scotland to be sort-of independent and for its football team to only ever play Ireland, Estonia, Slovenia and Moldova, supplemented with an occasional plucky performance against the Dutch.

He added: Can we please just create our own little version of reality and stick to it?

If you think about it, theres really no reason not to.