George Osborne, unlike his immediate superior, has been known to tell the occasional joke that is actually funny. Picking up the copy of Chairman Mao’s Little Red Book that had just been thrown over the despatch box at him by Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell and declaring, ‘Look, it’s his personal signed copy,’ was the best gag in the chamber last year.

Last night he gave the after dinner speech at the Westminster Correspondents’ Dinner and disappointingly, he did not disappoint.

“Chancellors have always had a difficult relationship with food,” he said. “Nigel Lawson published his own diet book. Gordon Brown binged on Kit Kats. I can reveal tonight I have my own nutrition plan. It’s called the 5:2. After 2 out of every 5 Budgets I eat some of my own words.

“Putting together the seating plan must have been a real nightmare.” he said. “The referendum means we’re all arguing amongst ourselves. The Canadian model, the Albanian model, the Ukrainian model...and that’s just John Whittingdale’s table.”

The Culture Secretary laughed and, somehow, did not go red. “I’ve never seen so many political journalists gathered in one place since you were all crowded around that locked disabled toilet earlier today. I doubt there’s been a bigger collection of egos in one room since John Bercow dined here alone.”

George Osborne 2016 budget at a glance Show all 8 1 /8 George Osborne 2016 budget at a glance George Osborne 2016 budget at a glance Debt forecasts up, growth forecasts down The OBR’s new forecasts have downgraded growth in all of the next five years to 2020. The watchdog says the economy will only grow by 2 per cent in 2016, as opposed to the anticipated 2.4 per cent. Borrowing and productivity growth are also down – with forecast borrowing in 2018-198 £16 billion higher George Osborne 2016 budget at a glance New tax on sugary drinks The Chancellor announced a new tax on sugary soft drinks, which is projected to raise £520 million. At least some of the money will be spent on doubling funding for school sport, the Chancellor says. Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn welcomed the levy George Osborne 2016 budget at a glance Tax cut for higher earners paying the 40p rate The Chancellor has raised the threshold for paying the higher rate of income tax to £45,000. The higher rate is paid by roughly the richest 15 per cent, currently people earning over £42,386 George Osborne 2016 budget at a glance Increase in tax-free income tax threshold The tax-free allowance increase to £11,500 in April 2017 – up from £10,600 now. The Chancellor previously raised the allowance from £6,475 in coalition with the Liberal Democrats. The Conservative manifesto pledges to put the allowance up to £12,500 by the end of the Parliament George Osborne 2016 budget at a glance New devolution for counties and powers for London and Manchester The West of England, the East of England and Greater Lincolnshire will all get elected mayor-led combined authorities with new powers. The Chancellor says they are backed by £1 billion new funding. Greater Manchester will get new powers of criminal justice while London will keep its business rates – giving whoever is elected Mayor a lot more spending power George Osborne 2016 budget at a glance Fuel duty frozen for sixth year running The Chancellor had planned to end the fuel duty freeze he had put in place for the whole previous parliament. In the event, he has announced a freeze for another year George Osborne 2016 budget at a glance All schools to become academies As reported yesterday the Chancellor unveiled legislation to turn all schools into academies. He said all schools would either be academies or on their way to being academies by 2020, and that funding had been set aside to fund the change George Osborne 2016 budget at a glance Lifetime ISA The Chancellor announced a new savings account to encourage under-40s to save for retirement – for every £4 saved, the Government will top this up by £1 up to the value of £4,000 a year. Tax-free ISAs will also be increased from £15,000 to £20,000

Cabinet ministers and Labour Party MPs hosted tables for journalists who work in Westminster, though not many of Labour’s senior leadership were there.

“We’re joined by the various factions of the Labour Party. Stephen Kinnock, the united front. Rachel Reeves, the popular front. Emily Thornberry, the less popular front. And Chris Bryant, the Y-front,” he said. Chris Bryant, you may or may not recall, once posted pictures of himself in his underpants on Gaydar.

The event is in its third year, and is meant to be a British version of the rather more famous White House Correspondent’s Dinner, which is attended by countless celebrities and business people and is televised live.