Abts family photo.

This story spans 23 years, two families, two states and two countries. While seemingly complicated, it’s a simple tale revealing the power of what happens when you believe in the magic of mystery.

All of us have had that electric moment in meeting a stranger – the flicker of knowing, against all reason and logic, that you were destined to meet. These instants are rare, and you need to pay attention to them in the same way you might stare into the night sky to catch sight of what you know is a falling star even as it vanishes.

One evening in 1995, Dave and Sue Abts were relaxing in their home in Oxnard, California, when the phone rang. The man on the other end of the line said he was with an organization looking for families willing to host foreign exchange students for a short stay.

Dave and Sue, in their early 50s, had every reason to say no.

Sue listed all of them. They were both working 14-hour days at the bank. They had relocated to Oxnard from Portland for the jobs, and their years of raising a family were over. Their kids, grown and on their own, lived back in Portland, where the couple planned to return when the jobs ended.

And yet …

Why the call?

Why this night?

Yes.

And that’s how 16-year-old Tatjana Sekulie came to America.

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Tom Hallman Jr./The Oregonian

Your heart and soul know when someone who comes into your life in an unexpected way turns out to be this jigsaw piece that fits in a puzzle you weren’t even aware you were building.

“The moment we met Tatjana something clicked,” said Sue. “In a heartbeat. There haven’t been many times in life where I was struck by such a dramatic and instantaneous connection.”

The Abts learned Tatjana’s father was a dentist, her mother a stay-at-home mom. She had a younger brother and two cats. The family lived in Setten, a sleepy Swiss village. She liked swimming, listening to music and street dancing, which she had to explain to the older couple.

That’s how it started.

Six weeks later, the Abts drove Tatjana to the organization’s bus taking her and the other students to the airport.

“Dave and I cried,” said Sue. “So many tears.”

Back at their home the couple noticed the heavy silence.

And that was that.

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Abts family photo.

The first letter arrived a month or so later.

Tatjana thanked the Abts for their hospitality and kindness. In the way of young women, she wanted to tell them all she was doing in her life.

The Abts wrote back.

And so, it started.

In one exchange, Tatjana invited the Abts, by then back in Portland, to visit Setten.

They did.

Tatjana’s father spoke no English, her mother hardly any English.

They had nothing in common.

Except for Tatjana.

The letters, and emails as technology changed, continued between the Abts and Tatjana.

After college, she got a job. During her vacations, she sent the Abts postcards from her latest destination. One year, she came to Portland and stayed with the Abts, using their home as a base while exploring Oregon, Seattle and Las Vegas. She loved Portland, and the Abts enjoyed showing her the city.

The Abts’ grown children, leading busy lives with kids of their own, found time to include Tatjana and she became part of the extended family.

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Abts family photo.

And then she returned home.

“It was difficult,” said Sue. “More tears.”

In one email, Tatjana said she was pregnant.

In time came a photo of the newborn boy. She and the baby’s father, Jerome, were saving money, she said, and planned to marry.

This March, the Abts received a wedding invitation via email. It was in German, but Tatjana provided a translation, saying she and Jerome would marry in June. She wanted the Abts to be there. Dave looked at the cost of airline tickets and found them prohibitive.

And yet ...

He and Sue had thousands of points from their timeshare. He made calls and found he could cash in all of them for two airline tickets and a hotel in Switzerland.

Yes.

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Abts family photo.

The day before the wedding, Tatjana told the Abts that her father, who had been battling cancer, was weak and sick from the treatments. He would be unable to attend the wedding.

She wanted Dave to walk her down the aisle.

She cried.

Dave cried.

While honored, he asked if he was the right person.

He was, he said, not family.

But he was.

Tatjana needed Dave.

Yes.

The next day, while guests gathered for the wedding, Dave went to see Tatjana. He spent 30 minutes talking with her about her father, about her son, about family.

About love.

And then it was time.

When Sue saw her husband with this woman, this girl who had so mysteriously become part of their lives, she began crying.

“Dave once walked each of his daughters down the aisle,” she said. “Now he was walking his third daughter down the aisle.”

When the wedding ended, Dave and Sue flew back to Portland.

And that was that.

Then, this past Monday, the Abts were at lunch when Dave received a text on his phone.

Dear Sue and Dave, I want to let you know my dad died tonight.

Two families, two states and two countries.

And 23 years.

--Tom Hallman Jr.

thallman@oregonian.com; 503 221-8224

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