I never thought I’d say this, but I’m starting to think maybe Lily was right about all that Hollywood crap after all. I don’t think my life’s ever felt more like a cheesy teen romance movie than it does right now.

I’m trying not to let myself get TOO excited yet, but things are definitely looking up. And not to sound like a total fanboy or anything, but I’m kinda dying waiting for this weekend now. I don’t even like parties, usually… but going to one with Landon?

Every time I think about it, I start feeling all dumb and giddy and ridiculous (Wow, Lily would be so proud, wouldn’t she?)

No matter what actually happens, I’m glad I finally had the balls to make a move with Landon (or a half-move, close enough). I was so terrified that I literally thought I was gonna puke (Jesus, could you imagine a repeat of what happened at Homecoming?) but it was my last chance. I couldn’t wait any longer.

So instead of puking up my lunch, I did what I usually do. I opened my mouth, spewed a nasty pile of word-vomit everywhere (okay, I’m dropping the puke metaphor for now before things get too weird), and somehow, against every friggin odd out there, it looks like things paid off.

Landon told me he likes me too (yes, really!), and I mean sure, he’s been nothing but nice to me for the past three months, but still. Hearing him SAY it? That was fucking awesome. And I can’t stop wondering how he meant it… I mean, not to sound like I’m twelve years old again, but there’s liking someone, and then there’s LIKE-liking someone.

But which one did he mean?! Maybe I’ll find out Saturday at the party?

Alright, I’ve seriously gotta calm the fuck down. I can’t sit here and assume anything good is actually gonna come of any of this… Chances are, this whole thing is headed for disaster. Y’know, Murphy’s Law and all that (which yes, I realize is not a true law of science, but is it really that different from the second law of thermodynamics? Entropy, chaos, things going completely to shit… same thing, right?)

Like I said, this feels like it’s all part of some cheesy teen movie… but only the first act. That’s the part where everything’s all perky and happy and going perfect. The setup and exposition before shit starts getting all dramatic and things start going totally wrong (and, as Mom would probably point out, the characters’ styles all start evolving to reflect their ‘journey’, or whatever).

Which means it’s only a matter of time before my life devolves into pure chaos, conflict, and costume changes… in theory.

But who knows? Maybe things will actually work out for once. Mom and Dad always say I’ve gotta ‘lighten up’ and stop being so cynical about everything. And I’d probably never actually TELL them this, but maybe they’re right this time.

All I know is that there’s SOMETHING there between me and Landon. I’m just not 100% sure what that ‘something’ is on his end… But I guess I’ll find out sooner or later.

And I’m just glad I finally said something, or else I’d never have even gotten this far. I let myself put a little too much faith in Ollie this time, I guess. I let all his warnings about Landon psych me out. I should’ve just gone with my gut sooner.

I keep telling myself Ollie meant well, but honestly? I don’t even know anymore. It’s like I keep saying — he’s just been WEIRD about the whole Landon thing. Totally not himself. That’s part of why I haven’t told him about Landon inviting me to that party. I don’t want him trying to shit all over my excitement like he always does.

Though to be fair, it’s been like a month since Ollie’s really said ANYTHING about Landon to me. Guess he decided to drop it? I dunno. Besides lunch and Math class, I’ve barely even seen him. We haven’t hung out in literally weeks.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d almost say Olllie was avoiding me or something, but Lily says she hasn’t really seen much of him either, besides when we’re at school.

According to Ollie, it’s just ‘cause he’s so busy with the play. And yeah, they do have practice after school three days a week, so I get it. But it sucks not seeing him as much as I used to, especially since he’s gonna be gone for like, all of Christmas break to go to his dad’s wedding. He’s leaving in just three or four days. Would it really kill him to come over and hang out before he leaves?

Believe it or not, Penny’s the one who’s been seeing him the most lately, probably more than me and Lily put together. Not only are they seeing each other at play practice, but Penny’s been going over to Ollie’s house to run lines with him once or twice a week too…

Which seems stupidly excessive, given how much she was bitching just a few weeks ago about how small her part is (then again, this IS Penny we’re talking about — ‘stupidly excessive’ pretty much sums up every aspect of her life).

I’m sure she’s just looking for an excuse to hang out with Callie. Probably wants to steal a lock of her hair and build a shrine or something. Little freak.

That’s gotta be it, right? I mean, she’s not ACTUALLY interested in Ollie. And there’s no friggin way he’s interested in her either. I know he was having fun teasing her before, but they’ve gotta be past all that shit now, don’t they?

I’ve tried asking Ollie about it at school, but he doesn’t say a lot — just that I ‘worry too much’. Which I guess could be true… I dunno.

Lily’s convinced Ollie’s hiding something from me — she’s back to her overdramatic Hollywood shit about ‘secret romance’ or whatever…

But I know Ollie would never lie to me, and Penny’s too shitty of an actress to keep a secret (she’d probably hate me for saying it, but sometimes the truth hurts). It’s still super fucking annoying (and weird) that the two of them are spending so much time together, but at least it doesn’t mean anything. God, could you imagine?

Anyway, typing all this out just helps to confirm the fact that I can’t really jump to any conclusions yet — good or bad — about any of this stuff. There’s just too many variables at play.

Does Landon like me, or LIKE-like me? Is Ollie avoiding me on purpose? What’s gonna happen at the party? When will Ollie get the stick out of his ass about Landon? How is he able to spend so much time with Penny without going totally insane? And will my sister ever learn how to act her way out of a fucking paper bag?

Guess we’ll find out in Act Two.