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Not only does our current president sound like a congested muppet when he speaks, but linguists and psychiatrists have also noted a marked deterioration in the quality of his speech over the last several years. Trump doesn’t speak; he barks inchoate phrases drawn from the primordial, Freudian ether of his brain. Compare that with our previous president, Barack Obama, who possessed such a cool, confident eloquence that it came to serve as the backbone of Fred Armisen’s impression on SNL.


If you find yourself missing Obama’s calming tenor (and you’ve exhausted yourself of YouTube clips), turn to Talk Obama To Me, a speech generator that culls words and phrases from Obama’s interviews and speeches throughout the years, then pieces them together for your relaxation and enjoyment.

Maybe you’d like to hear former President Obama exclaim that, like Walter White, he is the one who knocks. Or maybe you’d like to hear him lament the passing of brilliant character actor Miguel Ferrer. He could also stumble through the first line of James Joyce’s seminal Ulysses. Or perhaps you’d simply like to hear Obama say he finds you attractive. Because he does. Here’s proof.


He can also just tell you everything will be okay. We all need to hear that sometimes, right?