2. "Since I was attracted to boys, I just assumed I was straight and ignored the attraction I felt for girls."

"I'm a bi/pansexual woman married to a straight man. I grew up in a Christian, conservative family. My parents never said that homosexuality was wrong, but they never really said it was OK either. I think they didn't want to address it. But my church made it clear to me as a young person that it was only OK to be straight. Since I was attracted to boys, I just assumed I was straight and ignored the attraction I felt for girls. I never gave myself the chance to think about it because I was safe where I was.

Shortly before I married my husband, I finally left Christianity behind, for many reasons. This started a period of self-exploration for me. I was finally able to think about who I really am and what I really believe without some old white guy telling me the 'right' answers and condemning me for any deviance. It's been wonderful and freeing. Part of this was learning that I'm not straight. I realized that I was falling in love with one of my female friends (who is also bisexual). I also started to realize that strict monogamy may not be the best idea for me. I would very much like to be able to love more than one person, but my husband is and wants us to remain strictly monogamous. He never even seems to notice anyone else!

I think my parents would accept my bisexuality, especially since I'm married to a man and therefore not actually dating women, but they're still busy processing the fact that I'm not Christian. In a way, marrying a man makes it easy to 'hide.' People just assume you're straight. It can be freeing not to have to worry about people's negative reactions to even just seeing you with your partner. But on the other side of the coin, it makes me sad that I even need to hide or worry about these things."