I wanna talk about the egos for a second.

They have been by far one of my favourite things that have ever come out of this community and my own brain. I love characters, I love story and I love a good mystery so to have our own lore and plot in this community based around content that I put out there is nothing short of surreal and amazing. Recording let’s plays is awesome but this was something I created and put out there intentionally with high hopes and it went over super well. It was incredibly creatively fulfilling and a great

However in the mix of all this has come a lot of frustration and headaches too. I am constantly beating myself up over not doing more with them and putting things off because what I want to do with them is so fucking ambitious that I stop myself from trying sometimes out of fear of not living up to it and messing the whole thing up. I feel like I have one good shot at a story with them and don’t want to put out something that doesn’t make sense or is safe or is just badly written and kind of lame. I want it to be GREAT but that’s a really hard thing to do, especially when almost the entire creative process for all of this is resting on me. It doesn’t have to of course but it’s my baby and I want to treat it well so I get frustrated when things don’t go EXACTLY how I want with the characters.

Not only that but people fucking LOVE these characters (which is the sweetest thing in the world) so I want to do them justice for all of you as well. Use them as a way of telling a good story with characters you can relate to and designs/imagery that inspires you. Sometimes those expectations aren’t met or are set WAY too high, far too early and what comes out disappoints some people or isn’t exactly what you wanted either. This constant cycle and back and forth in my head has been a huge creative and motivational road block for me. I have ideas and plot points and places I want all this to go but trying to get there has proven hard for me because again, I don’t want to fuck it up. The stuff that I’m trying to do is also just taking so fucking long to talk through.

This is why teases have been slow and sparse. All of this is way bigger than I thought it would be initially so thank you for that. I love these characters so so much and I want to see them fly high. I do love all the theorising though and the stories people write about them and how creative you all are. It inspires me. Keep theorising, keep having fun, keep your stories going. I want to have more fun with it and not put so much pressure on it all anymore.