Jessica Bliss

jbliss@tennessean.com

Curtis Shaw used to tell his boys that they slid down a rainbow onto the wings of a dragonfly.

They preferred to believe they were born on Mars.

But the truth of how they came into the world is just as unique.

And, as the boys' parents say, even more magical.

Twelve years ago today, twins Roman and Nyro were delivered by their surrogate mother and cradled by their two fathers.

In that moment, a multilayered portrait of what it means to be family was formed.

An uncommon union that transcends the bonds of biology, the story of Roman and Nyro and their dads — legendary songwriter Desmond Child and Shaw, his longtime partner — speaks to the affection, acceptance, courage and conviction it takes to be a nontraditional unit with a traditional message of love.

"We're just like everybody's family," Roman said, "but a little bit better."

First meeting

The Nashville skyline hovers on the horizon outside the porch windows of the Shaw-Child family's hilltop home.

Out back, Roman effortlessly eases a basketball between his legs and releases a jump shot as Nyro leaps to block it. Shaw watches for a few moments with the family's dog, Frank, at his feet, before meandering back in through the kitchen.

Evidence of a juice cleanse covers the counters. At the large table that is the centerpiece of their warm wood home, Child sits in front of his computer, work on his screen and an empty, juice-drained glass at his side.

Life in Middle Tennessee means a sense of normalcy for the 60-year-old Child, who was raised in Miami and found fame through the lyrics he penned for the likes of Aerosmith, Jon Bon Jovi, KISS, Cher, Ricky Martin and more. For Shaw, 52, a mid-Missouri boy who was the second oldest of four siblings, Nashville offers a sense of place.

Neither man found it easy to grow up gay. Words such as "alien" and "monster" enter their vocabulary as they describe the self-loathing and self-doubt that came with their sexual identity. But the relationships that flourished from that self-awareness brought them to each other.

Shaw met Child in the spring of 1989 in New York City.

In town to work on a project for Alice Cooper, Child walked down Amsterdam Avenue past a restaurant tucked behind the Beacon Theatre.

In the doorway, a striking blue-eyed maitre d' waited to seat customers.

After several passes, Child went in with his assistant to have dinner. The maitre d', Shaw, sat down to eat nearby after his shift. Child invited him to share a table. The next day, they arranged an official date.

That was 25 years ago.

Now, the couple reminisces about that moment — and the many memories that have transpired since.

Dream becomes reality

For years Shaw collected Disney movies, old VHS tapes he watched as a kid, knowing someday he wanted to show them to his own children.

He always knew he wanted to be a dad. He just wasn't sure how.

He came out to his parents as a young man and was met with questions and pain. As his parents sought answers, they came to acceptance. Shaw, meanwhile, sought himself on stage in New York City.

There, he found Child. Eventually, he realized theater wasn't his future. He worked for a while running day-to-day business for Child, and then, he said, the universe brought him Angela Whittaker.

Whittaker grew up in a Mormon family just south of San Francisco and moved to Nashville to pursue a singing career. Not long afterward, she studied meditation with Deepak Chopra and became one of his certified instructors. She was an acquaintance of Shaw's in Nashville, but not a close friend, until the first day of a meditation retreat in India when she reconnected with Shaw and met Child.

One night over hot chai teas in India, the couple shared with Whittaker their desire to start a family and eventually get married.

They confided in her their difficulties finding a suitable surrogate.

That night, Whittaker had a dream she was pregnant with their baby. Dressed all in white, over and over she said, "I'll carry your baby. I'll carry your baby."

She awoke in a cold sweat, reaching for her stomach. She was not pregnant with their child, but 13 months later she would be.

The trio calls it synchro-destiny. A karmic smack.

"We began a process that unfolded in a very spiritual way and has really deepened our lives," Child said.

World changes

In a pool in Miami, Shaw swam naked.

Surrounded by twilight, he looked toward the dimming sky and saw a cloud of dragonflies. As they hovered, one or two would occasionally break away and come closer. He felt they were looking at him, or looking into him.

Later that night, he made the phone call to Whittaker that changed his life. She told him she was pregnant.

Across the world, Child was dancing on tabletops in Crete.

It was just days after the World Trade Center towers tumbled to the ground. Flights had been canceled, and Shaw had been unable to meet his partner overseas as planned.

Instead, he called with the news.

"Then we really started celebrating," Child said.

In Crete, on a boat ride back across the bay to where he was staying, Child reflected on the news.

The son of a Cuban songwriter, Child didn't discover the identity of his real father until he was 18. His mother had an affair while living in Latin America. That history, in part, is what moved Child to pass on his biological roots.

His boys were conceived from an anonymous egg donor and Child's sperm.

Two eggs were implanted in hope that one would take.

Two did.

"It really did change the world forever," he said.

'Beautiful blessing'

Roman and Nyro arrived at 37 and a half weeks at Mount Sinai Medical Center in Miami Beach in 2002.

Photos of the day show two tiny little bundles, in knit hats and swaddling, with three smiling adults sharing the joy.

"All parents know that we only have an idea of how much we're going to love our children, but when you're holding that little bundle of pure joy and innocence, the love washes over you and fills your heart in a way that you've never felt before," Shaw said.

"Throughout the boys' babyhood I would sit and feed them and tears would stream down my face — tears of gratitude that we were being given this opportunity to raise these boys. I wanted to share what I had learned about the world ... about everything."

When the boys were 6 months old, their fathers threw a blessing ceremony.

Family and friends from all over the world attended.

One of the boys' godfathers, Jon Bon Jovi, spoke in lyric-like prose.

"I write you today to welcome you into the world and to let you know that in a world that needs love you have love — in twos," he said.

The boys have two loving parents, he said. Two godmothers, two godfathers and each other.

That, Whittaker said, is important.

"They are going to have each other to take this journey together with because it is quite the road less traveled," Whittaker said. "Now these two boys have each other and their dads and me."

And their dads, she said, are amazing.

"It just continues to be such a beautiful blessing in my life," Whittaker said. "We had no idea what it would be, and it has turned out to be a beautiful, extended, loving, alternative, modern family. It has been such a joy to be part of this quest."

Unique normalcy

Under a stunning morning sky in Central Park last October, Child and Shaw were legally married.

The Rev. Becca Stevens, an Episcopal priest and founder of Nashville's Magdalene recovery program, performed the ceremony.

Roman and Nyro were their parents' best men.

Dressed in cream from head to toe, shell necklaces around their necks, the family of four celebrated togetherness in a way they never had before.

"It was probably the most important day in my parents' life," Nyro said.

In his wedding vows, Shaw said Child led him — sometimes kicking and screaming — through the depths of his soul.

"We're meant to be together," Shaw said, "and we're in this life to learn and teach and evolve with one another."

And each day since has built on that purpose.

Now, Shaw and Child — Papa and Daddy, respectively — patrol the soccer sidelines, shout from the bleachers at basketball games and slip in a game of chess or Ping-Pong at home.

The boys banter back and forth about who has better foot skills, who is more popular and their favorite video games.

At night before bed, the boys squish next to Shaw on the couch to watch a movie.

"Curtis is the best mom any kid could ever have," Child said.

Whittaker sees the boys several times a year. They go to the beach together and play soccer. Roman taught her how to play poker (potato chips are very valuable currency in their house, Nyro interjects).

She's not mom to them, but she is significant.

"She's the reason why we came into this world," Nyro said, "So, yeah, she's important."

The reality is, the boys understand their family is unique, but it doesn't seem to phase them.

When someone asks, Nyro tells them: "We are a gay family, and we have a dog named Frank."

Usually, he said, people say: "Cool."

Now, as the boys embark on their 12th year, Child reflects back on the retreat where their journey to parenthood began. The focus was how to get to know God.

"I think about that sometimes," Child said, "because I didn't get the answer then, but having a real home with children, that's how you get to know God.

"So I got the answer to my question."

'TWO: The Story of Roman and Nyro'

What: "TWO: The Story of Roman and Nyro" documents the 12-year journey of legendary songwriter Desmond Child and his lifelong partner Curtis Shaw. The film tells how the couple connected with Angela Whittaker, the woman who would carry their twin sons, Roman and Nyro. It also explores sexuality, acceptance and the love of a modern family.

When and where: The film will be screened at 7 p.m. Tuesday at Belcourt Theatre, 2102 Belcourt Ave., Nashville.

Tickets: $20 general admission, $45 for VIP preferred seating

More info:www.belcourt.org/events/two-the-story-of-roman-and-nyro.762133

After the screening, there will be a question-and-answer session with the Shaw-Child family, who call Nashville home. There also will be an acoustic performance of "Make It Love," the theme song from "TWO," performed by Levi Hummon and his Grammy Award-winning father, Marcus Hummon.

Proceeds from the screening will benefit Jewish Family Services, PFLAG and Abintra Montessori School.

Reach Jessica Bliss at 615-259-8253 or on Twitter @jlbliss.