Violent Video Games Argument Receives HD Remaster

WASHINGTON — Fans of recycled arguments rejoiced earlier this week, as President Donald Trump unveiled an updated, high definition remaster of the allegation that video games are to blame for real life atrocities.

“I’m hearing more and more people seeing the level of violence in video games is really shaping young people’s thoughts,” said the President on Thursday. “And then you go the further step, and that’s the movies. You see these movies, and they’re so violent a kid is able to see the movie if sex isn’t involved, but killing is involved, and maybe we need to put a rating system for that.”

The remaster is available across all media platforms, and the new version has introduced social media compatibility, something the original 1999 version was only able to touch on. Though today’s technology allows for crisper graphics and smoother animations, many have said that the fundamental problems that have always plagued the series remain.

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“Sure this new one looks and sounds great,” said blogger Anna Farley. “But just like the original, the characters just don’t come across as relatable or human or anything. It really makes it tough to buy into.”

Despite the mixed reaction from the public, the President and several other prominent politicians insisted that the argument is more relevant now than ever, citing the current state of video game culture.

“It’s garbage. It’s the same as pornography. They have desensitized people to the value of human life, to the dignity of women, to the dignity of human decency,” said Kentucky Governor Matt Bevin, who famously spoke at a pro-cockfighting rally in 2014.

“We’ve got to do something about these video games this time,” he added. “The fact that we didn’t after Doom and Grand Theft Auto came out in the ’90s is unforgivable.”



Article by Mark Roebuck @mark_roebuck.

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