How do you know if you're a real man? If you have to ask, you wouldn't like the answer.

Too harsh? Then man up — literally. Man Up! 367 Classic Skills for the Modern Guy (Artisan, $14.95) is just the guide to reclaim that lost Y chromosome and show the world you're more than a modern dude without a clue.

"The stuff we are expected to know or feel like we have to have a handle on is so much different from what our dads, who are our male role models, usually, had to know," says Man Up! author Paul O'Donnell, a former magazine editor and Newsweek writer whose credits include New York magazine, Slate and Wired.

That's why O'Donnell's handy "man-ual" is big on skills Pop never taught you, such as building a social network, holding a baby, even throwing a punch. And they don't require George Clooney's charm or the Most Interesting Man in the World's macho élan.You just need a few pointers and some confidence to pull them off.

O'Donnell turned to numerous role models and experts for his many manly instructions, from brothers and fathers of friends to state troopers and stunt drivers. Here are the 10 must-have "Man Up!" skills he says you ought to know. No asking required.

A man writes thank-you notes."No matter how much email or Twitter or texting or whatever, there still is a certain authenticity to sitting down and writing something," O'Donnell says in a phone interview from his home in Long Island. "And that format asks for a little bit of formality." It also asks for stationery. Nothing fancy, just formal and simple enough to match the message.

A man leaves a proper tip.O'Donnell says 20 percent is pretty standard for the waiter, hairstylist, etc. For valets, a couple of bucks is fine. And while you needn't tip at the drive-thru, do tip at the Starbucks counter. O'Donnell likens baristas to bartenders; you want to get on their good side. Besides, it's not just your server watching. Your date or other party members also will notice your generosity - or stinginess.

A man knows how to cook a perfect medium-rare steak. It's a man's meal made simple. Take the steak out of the fridge 30 minutes before you want to serve it. Salt and pepper both sides. Preheat the oven to 450 degrees.

While the oven warms, heat an oven-safe cast-iron skillet over medium-high heat. Melt a ½ -inch slice of butter in the skillet, then sear each side of the steak for two minutes. Turn off the flame and put the steak and pan in the oven. Turn off the oven as soon as you put the steak inside.

After 15 minutes, take out the steak and place it on a cutting board. Wait 5 to 10 minutes, then slice perpendicular to the grain of the steak and serve.

A man knows how to host a restaurant dinner.Think about your guests' needs. Any vegetarians? Older diners who'd prefer an earlier reservation? Kids involved? Stop by the restaurant or go online for pre-dining recon. Make fast friends with the maitre d' or a couple of waiters. Such consideration makes a meal memorable, not mundane.

A man stocks his kitchen."Your home is a place that shelters you, but also allows you to offer other people hospitality," O'Donnell says. Have staples on hand that'll make any meal inviting: bacon (as a condiment), beans (keep well and cook easily), hot sauce (blows away the bland), oatmeal (easy filler), olive oil (easy flavor), pasta (go-to companion), peanut butter (protein blast) and tuna (great right out of the can).

A man friends his boss on Facebook.It's all about networking, so O'Donnell says spread your social media net far and wide to include your boss. Just put up those privacy controls "to make sure your boss doesn't see you throwing up in your hat or whatever," O'Donnell says, adding that Facebook friends are hardly the same as those pals you know offline.

A man doesn't buy the extended warranty.The warranty that comes with the car or big-screen TV should suffice. The only extra insurance O'Donnell suggests you consider is for a laptop, which suffers its share of spills (coffee or otherwise). If you do buy an extended laptop warranty, get it from the manufacturer, not the retailer.

A man can stop a charging dog. First, try to step off the dog's territory. If it pursues you anyway, turn sideways, keep your head turned to the dog's face and yell "NO!" Most yard dogs should back off.

Still coming at you? Wrap your forearm with whatever you have - your shirt, a hat, anything. Change your stance to a low crouch and counter the dog's lunge with your own weight so you don't go over. Let the dog bite your protected forearm and kick the dog until it lets go. Keep the dog in front of you and repeat as needed.

" You're not going to win in a foot race with a dog," O'Donnell says. "It's going to catch you."

A man knows how to choose a urinal."It's not so much which urinal you pick, it's your behavior at the urinal," O'Donnell says. If you don't have the men's room all to yourself, just stare straight ahead and do what you need to do. Don't make a huge deal out of not looking. And, please, don't spit.

A man knows how to socialize with a recovering addict. O'Donnell says more young men these days know someone who has been in a recovery program. You needn't exclude that someone simply because you want to hit the bars, so be inclusive and considerate.

"As long as he's not within his first six months of being sober, he probably knows how to handle himself in that situation, so certainly give him the option," O'Donnell says, adding, you should be sure to invite that friend to nondrinking outings, too.

No matter how you man up, use your head. A little bit of heart helps, too.

"When I think of what 'man up' means, it usually means do the right thing," O'Donnell says.

rguzman@express-news.net