Continue Reading Below Advertisement

In one case, some Yunxiao counterfeiters even tried to divert attention from the underground factory by disguising their compound as a military base, complete with 20 guys parading around in military uniforms and doing daily drills.

The scope of these operations ranges from rusty rolling machines hidden in old bunkers to multimillion-dollar enterprises. The return is amazing (up to 20 times their original investment), and the worst Chinese law can do is gently slap them on the wrist with a couple of years in jail or a small fine. What's not to love?

publicintegrity

Other than the cancer?

Continue Reading Below Advertisement

Well, how about the fact that the fake Chinese cigarettes often contain 80 percent more nicotine and 130 percent more carbon monoxide than the genuine article, plus occasional insect eggs and human feces?

Oh, and then there's what we said earlier -- there's actually a chance you yourself have taken a nice, long drag of counterfeit Chinese poop-sticks. Cigarette factories from Yunxiao export their products to over 60 countries around the globe because it's impossible to spot the fakes unless you're an industry specialist. So 99 percent of all fake cigarettes in the U.S. come from China. In the U.K., one in every three packs is believed to be a Chinese counterfeit.

Getty



On the plus side, if we put "May contain human feces" on every pack, we can probably lower smoking rates by, like, 2 to 3 percent.

Cezary Jan Strusiewicz is a freelance English-Japanese-Polish translator, tour guide and writer. Contact him here.

For more ridiculous ripoffs, check out The 6 Most Psychotic Rip-Offs of Famous Animated Films and 6 Baffling Attempts to Ride Harry Potter's Coattails.