In a shocking upset Donald Trump has broken the orange ceiling and become the first fake and bake President of the United States.

For supporters, it must be difficult for you to accept this result, as you’ve been telling us the system is rigged. So if you’re not sure if he should be President – I’m sure the rest of the world won’t mind if he just stands aside.

As that’s unlikely, here are some things to prepare for now that we have arrived at the end of a hellish campaign and reached the apocalypse. Sorry, the result.

As America, and the world, wake up to a new order – Trump and his incoming administration prepare to make rabid changes. Rapidly.

For some surviving in Trump’s America will be much easier. Since the campaign was run to make America Great Again, we can only assume, from the tone of Trump’s campaign, that was when white people were much more clearly in charge. If you can tick the Caucasian box, well done. You’re on your way to be being great. Again.

Donald Trump's victory speech after winning US election

If you are from an ethnic minority (orange coloured skin is not a problem) and have ever eaten a taco, it might be good to stay at home. Plus that will make it easier for the deportation force to know where to find you.

If your name is Hillary, Bill and Chelsea prepare for a visit from the TBI (Trump Bureau of Interrogation). They will be issuing an arrest warrant and providing complimentary water(boarding). The charge will be corruption related to your emails and the Clinton Foundation – as well as the new charge of “Suspicion of Making America Less Great Again.”

Many people will be on the new TBI watch list to make sure America stays great. The list will start with all those millions of people who voted for “Crooked” Hillary.

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Keep an eye out for the new plaque which is set to be unveiled at the base of the Statue of Liberty. Instead of “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses” it will say, “Give me those who want to invest in new hotels”. Rather than, “Huddled masses yearning to breathe free” it will say “Those who can afford them breathe with masks because we’re going to stop battling climate change”. And instead of “Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed” it will say “Send me only people that look like us and don’t talk funny.”

If you’re Muslim in America, or a Muslim who wants to come to America, don’t worry – there will not be a ban. There will soon be “Extreme Vetting”, a new reality show on Trump TV. The first contest will include challenges such as swimming and a long distance marathon. The prize will be a flight back to wherever you came from.

As Trump stated many times on Twitter, only he knows how to defeat Isis, fix the American economy and do trade deals. Now he’s going to finally enact all those plans. They are great plans. But doing them will cost money. So he will be closing most of the federal government. Don’t think of it as a bankruptcy as they don’t know what they are doing anyway. From now on if anyone has any problems, just tweet Donald and the problem is solved.

President Donald Trump life in pictures Show all 16 1 /16 President Donald Trump life in pictures President Donald Trump life in pictures Donald Trump poses in a rocking chair once used by President John F. Kennedy at his New York City residence Reuters President Donald Trump life in pictures Developer Donald Trump with his new bride Marla Maples after their wedding at the Plaza hotel in New York Reuters President Donald Trump life in pictures Donald Trump and Celina Midelfart watch the match between Conchita Martinez and Amanda Coetzer during U.S. Open. She was the date whom Donald Trump was with when he met his current wife Melania at a party in 1996 Reuters President Donald Trump life in pictures U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas serving as the grand marshal for the Daytona 500, speaks to Donald Trump and Melania Knauss on the starting grid at the Daytona International Speedwa Reuters President Donald Trump life in pictures Developer Donald Trump talks with his former wife Ivana Trump during the men's final at the U.S. Open Reuters President Donald Trump life in pictures Donald Trump and his friend Melania Knauss pose for photographers as they arrive at the New York premiere of Star Wars Episode : 'The Phantom Menace,' Reuters President Donald Trump life in pictures Billionaire real estate developer Donald Trump talks with host Larry King. Trump told King that he was moving toward a possible bid for the United States presidency with the formation of a presidential exploratory committee Reuters President Donald Trump life in pictures Donald Trump answers questions as Minnesota Governor Jesse Ventura looks on in Brooklyn Park. Trump said on Friday he 'very well might' make a run for president under the Reform Party banner but had not made a final decision Reuters President Donald Trump life in pictures Billionaire Donald Trump makes a face at a friend as he sits next to Panamanian President Mireya Moscoso before the start of the 2003 Miss Universe pageant in Panama City Reuters President Donald Trump life in pictures Entrepreneur Donald Trump is greeted by a Marilyn Monroe character look-a-alike, as he arrives at Universal Studios Hollywood to attend the an open casting call for his NBC television network reality series 'The Apprentice.' Reuters President Donald Trump life in pictures Donald Trump and Simon Cowell present an Emmy during the 56th annual Primetime Emmy Awards at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles Reuters President Donald Trump life in pictures Donald Trump and Megan Mullally perform at the 57th annual Primetime Emmy Awards at the Shrine Auditorium in Los Angeles Reuters President Donald Trump life in pictures Donald Trump, poses with his children, son Donald Trump, Jr., and daughters Tiffany and Ivanka Reuters President Donald Trump life in pictures Billionaire Donald Trump told Miss USA 2006 Tara Conner on Tuesday she would be given a second chance after reported misbehavior Reuters President Donald Trump life in pictures Donald Trump holds a replica of his star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame as his wife Melania holds their son Barron in Los Angeles Reuters President Donald Trump life in pictures U.S. property mogul Donald Trump stands next to a bagpiper during a media event on the sand dunes of the Menie estate, the site for Trump's proposed golf resort, near Aberdeen, north east Scotland Reuters

Remember – for those people who didn’t support Trump, do not panic. Because if you do have a panic attack, after Trump repeals Obamacare, you will have a record of having a pre-existing condition.

Trump has won the argument. If you didn’t vote for him, SAD. Now we get to wait and see how high the wall gets built, how great America will be, and if Trump really cares about America – or if he has just been trying to grab it by the pussy.