Host Announces Board Game Night Will Feature Snacks After No Response in Group Text Matt Borjes Follow Jan 27 · 2 min read

(Image: Polyhedron Collider)

Jason Koalchek, 21, is a hosting a board game night this Saturday. That’s what the text he sent out detailed to the 9 other people included in the Apple/Android group chat. After receiving zero responses directed towards his party, Koalchek has since announced there will be free food.

“This usually happens,” said Koalchek, “I’ve got at least 20 games I’ve backed on Kickstarter that are still wrapped in plastic. The only way I get people to come over is buying pizza for them.”

Bill Durden was the first to respond to Koalchek’s announcement text, “Yo missed the notification. I’ll be there.” When asked for further comment, Durden explained the chat’s silence, “Last time, we got together for board games was a disaster. I’ve never gotten so tired so fast in my life. We played this cooperative zombie game with so many tiny plastic pieces that kept falling off the table. I couldn’t even have a proper conversation because there were so many rules I had to focus on memorizing. Ticket to Ride was fun at first, but Jason’s gone through the cardboard looking glass and I don’t think I can follow.”

Two other people also confirmed after Koalchek added they could drink the 1/4 full bottle of vodka that’s been sitting in the corner of his kitchen counter since sophomore year.

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