Anonymous asked: Hey, this may sound like an odd question, but you're one of the few people I follow who's knowledgeable in trans issues, so here's a question: What would your opinion be on a trans man and cis man that's a couple that deems their romantic relationship "gay" but any possible sexual relation "straight" due to the trans man not having gone through surgery? Asking this because I actually came across this situation today and said that I thought it was transphobic, but got yelled at for "butting in".

Tbh if you’re cis and they self-define their relationship that way, that’s up to them and you shouldn’t be butting in. If you’re cis, you can’t really call trans people out on internalised transphobia or how they choose to refer to themselves & their relationship.

However, as trans man, I would deem any relationship that I was involved with, with another man, as a gay one, regardless of the state of my genitalia or his. And I would prefer that cis people view it that way too.