Who’s got more taters than Jose Bautista? That would be Toronto resident and avid potato chip enthusiast @chip.rich. Every week, Rich (who works pseudonymously) tears into some of the world’s rarest and weirdest chip flavours, many hand-delivered by friends and fans from around the world, and reviews them on Instagram with unbridled, foul-mouthed, emoji-ridden glee.

Below, our world exclusive interview with the chip mogul.

Tell me about your relationship with chips.

[This was so graphic it was unprintable – ed.]

What makes chips so good for this kind of in-depth study and exploration?

I didn’t choose this gig, chips chose me.

Chips are the perfect subject because they are sexy, and a provocative bag of chips has a personality of its own. Conversely, chips are a valuable study because being into astrology isn’t cool anymore, and you can gauge a lot about a person based on their fave flav, much like their sign. For example: Scorpios like to bone, and people who like lightly salted chips will add nothing of substance to a conversation.

People bring you chips from all over the world to review. What have you learned about the chip flavours of the world so far? Any surprise favourites?

People try to open minds by stressing how similar we all are on the inside, but a much more impactful spin on that message is how we’re all united by chips.

What I’ve learned is that the flavour profile isn’t as diverse as you’d imagine. Portugal had American BBQ. Mexico had cheese. South Africa had “tomato.” China couldn’t quite get shit right with things like CUCUMBER (were they aiming for dill pickle? IDK), but still, you can find weird pizza flavoured chips in Chinatown.

EVERYONE LIKES THE SAME CHIP FLAVS, BOOM. WORLD PEACE.

What do you do when you’re not eating chips?

Um, like for money? I always laugh when people ask me if I legitimately generate revenue off of @chip.rich. For money, I’m a medical sales rep. When I’m not working for the man, I could say I do cool shit like give back to my community, but the truth is I mainly watch TV and make fun of my mom online.

Dream chip flavour?

I will disclose this to you only because I like you, but, don’t tell anyone because I’m saving this goldmine for the next Lays Do Us a Flavour contest. Ready? WHY HASN’T THERE BEEN A PAD THAI CHIP?

Otherwise, my dream chip has already come and gone. My #flavfam knows what keeps me up at night: RUFFLES. HOT. WINGS. They flirt with bringing this shit back to the people every few years, and they really need to stop busting my balls and just make it permanent. It IS A RARE 10/10.

How has your life changed since becoming the chip mogul you are today?

With the power of chips I’ve lost 20 pounds and have achieved total consciousness.

Follow Chip Rich at @chip.rich for more.

nataliam@nowtoronto.com | @nataliamanzocco