Katie Buckleitner

If your partner has a micropenis — one that's 2 ¾ inches or less when erect — it's very possible they've felt shame or embarrassment about it at some point, even though it in no way means a satisfying sex life is out of the question. "Sex should be more than penetration, and satisfaction can come so many ways," sexuality educator Julian Wolf points out. "Between oral, hands, grinding, penetration, and toys, a good time can be had by all involved, regardless of genital configuration."



"I feel the same desires as guys who are better-endowed," Cosmopolitan.com's micropenis-having source J.F. adds. "Penis size is so often conflated with human worth by both men and women ... While many men with small penises report mentally crushing experiences, it doesn't have to be that way." If your partner is less than well-endowed, there's no shortage of tips for better hookups — read on and see.

1. Have an orgasm *before* the penetrative sex even begins. "If the penis-having partner is worried...then helping their partner orgasm before penetration ever takes place can help insure that there's less pressure on penetrative performance," sex educator and coach Stella Harris tells Cosmopolitan.com. When you prioritize the pleasure you get from your partner's hands, mouth, use of toys, or a combination of a these, penetration becomes the icing on the top instead of the make-it-or-break-it main event. And the pleasure can go both ways at once: "I find that 69ing with someone who's below average is a fabulous use of time," Wolf says. "When I don't have to worry about gagging/breathing as much, I can focus on doing all sorts of neat things with my tongue as they stimulate me."

2. If your partner slips out, give them a lip job. If you've never heard of a lip job, that's because it's the term I just made up to describe this move from Koomah: "Enjoy rubbing and stroking his penis head or the shaft up and down in your vaginal lips," Koomah says. "Try a grinding or rocking motion along with working your pelvic floor muscles." Even if you're comfortable with your partner, it can be awkward if they slip out of you, and immediately scrambling to reinsert can make it even more so. A lip job keeps the action moving with a "we totally meant for that to happen" vibe.



3. Get on top and squeeze. As Koomah, an intersex-bodied, LGBTQI-inclusive sex educator, tells Cosmopolitan.com, girl-on-top and reverse cowgirl set you up to tighten your pelvic floor muscles to grip the penis inside more firmly. They also allow you — or your partner — to rub your clit. Score.

4. Make missionary more satisfying by resting your ankles or calves on your partner's shoulders and tilting your pelvis up. Nicole Rosenthal, a human sexuality education student at Widener University, once dated a man with a near-micropenis. When they had sex with him on top, she'd put both of her ankles on one of his shoulders so that her pelvis was tilted up and he had maximum access to her. For positions in which you're on your back or your partner is, you can also place a pillow or a sex accessory like the Liberator Wedge under your hips to elevate them: As Erin Basler, brand manager at The Center for Sexual Pleasure and Health, points out,"This changes the angle of the hips, allowing for deeper penetration and a more precise angle for stimulating the front wall of the vaginal canal," which is super sensitive.

5. Have your partner insert their penis and a finger at the same time. "If you are on your back, I recommend having their thumb inserted and applying pressure downward toward the anus," Koomah says. "This gives the vagina the sensation of being filled even more and creates a nice sensation on his penis as well."



Cosmopolitan

6. Doggy style is another winning position. Positions that fit your genitals together as snugly as possible, like girl-on-top and doggy style, minimize slippage risk and maximize penetration depth. Koomah says that you shouldn't get too hung up on depth of penetration, though, since "the clitoris, vaginal opening, and first internal inch or so are the most sensitive" parts of your genitals. Small penises shine during doggy style especially because they can hit the sensitive front wall of the vagina directly.



7. Experiment with a female condom. "For smaller than average penises, a smaller sized condom — look for 'snug fit' or 'tight grip' on the label — can work well," sex educator Sarah Sloane advises. "Another great option, especially for folks that don't like traditional condoms, is the FC2 female condom, which is worn by the person being penetrated and therefore works great for all penis sizes.

8. You might want to skip the lube. This one depends on how wet you get, but lube reduces friction, which is a plus with some penises but can make it harder to feel smaller ones. And if you get really wet on your own, consider wiping some of that natural lubrication off before penetration.

9. It's easier to get adventurous with anal play. If you're new to butt stuff, a smaller penis can honestly be a blessing. "Try anal on your side in a spooning position," Koomah says. "Your partner can reach around and rub or use a vibe on your clit for extra stimulation." Also consider experimenting with double penetration with toys like dildos (including strap-ons) and butt plugs, which "can be less intimidating with someone who isn't large," Wolf says. "A butt plug and vaginal intercourse, or vibrator and anal intercourse, make for some deep orgasmic play."

The front and side of a penis extender. Fat Boy

10. Using a penis extender can be fun for both of you. "You may want to go beyond your local adult toy store and use the Internet to seek out some custom prosthetics such as those specifically designed for transmen — they also work great for people with micropenises," Koomah says. The problem with many extenders is that they don't stimulate the wearer very much, sex educator Kelly Shibari points out — as a rep for the sex toy company Perfect Fit Brand, she recommends its penis extender for the toy's interior ribs and nubs, which are designed to make the wearer feel great too. Sloane advocates body-safe, semi-rigid extenders that loop around both penis base and scrotum to keep them in place. "Once a bit of lube is added to the inside, the snugness and suction make it feel as amazing to the wearer as the firm penetration does to the receiver," she says.



11. Give the frenulum extra love with thumbs. If your entire fist seems to dwarf your partner's penis, target specific areas of it with your fingers — especially the frenulum, the ridge of sensitive tissue under the head of the penis. Try placing your forefinger and thumb over the frenulum on either side of the penis and moving them back and forth and up and down.

Ruben Chamorro

12. Vibration is great and cock rings are THE BEST. Rosenthal says that the best things her partner did for pleasure were to get amazing at manual and oral sex and at using toys on her: "Penetrative sex with his penis became secondary to focusing on my pleasure through other means." Cock rings are magical because they "keep the blood flow in the shaft of the penis, heightening sensation for your partner and providing a very stiff piece of 'equipment' for you," sex educator Scarlette Cyn says. Shopping for one with your partner can be foreplay in and of itself. Only about 25% of women consistently orgasm from vaginal intercourse no matter the size of the penis (or dildo) involved — you need direct clitoral stimulation, and cock rings are designed to provide it.



13. Don't lie about your partner's size. "I feel confident in saying that most guys who have experienced a woman lying about their size take it like a jab to the ribs, only the pain lasts a lot longer," J.F. says. "Such a lie, however well-intentioned, infers that there is genuinely something wrong with having a small or tiny penis." Better than telling your partner is penis is normal or big is to say that you like it — and your partner — the way they are, and that you're excited to explore all kinds of sex with them. "If the guy seems insecure at first, just try to give him time to feel accepted," J.F. adds.

14. Think of sex as more (way more) than penetration. The most important advice for people with smaller-than-average penises and their partners may be to expand their sexual diets. Rosenthal adds, "Because [my partner] didn't focus on his penis or penis size as the primary source of his sense of masculinity, nor the primary source of sexual pleasure for me, he was able to focus more on actual sensation and really get into what we were both feeling" — and that is what sex should be about.

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Hayley MacMillen Hayley MacMillen covers sex, relationships, and health.

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