Friday night on “Real Time with Bill Maher,” host Bill Maher ended his weekly “New Rules” segment by clarifying that what Republicans legislate ever more cruel and draconian anti-abortion measures not so much because they hate abortion, but because they hate “women having sex that doesn’t end with a baby popping out.”

In addition to the story of Wendy Davis and her heroic stand against Texas law virtually outlawing abortion altogether, there were two items in the news this week, Maher said, that illustrate his point.

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One story was about Plan B, the contraceptive medication that prevents a fertilized egg from implanting on the uterine wall, keeping women from becoming pregnant. Maher said that conservatives should love Plan B, because it prevents abortions by stopping unwanted pregnancies. But of course, the right doesn’t want the drug to be available to anyone over the counter, let alone minors.

Similarly, conservatives hate the HPV vaccine because they believe that as soon as they get it, teen girls will run out and start having sex, much, said Maher, in the same way that he “couldn’t wait to jab rusty nails into my feet” after he got his first tetanus shot.

“Over in ‘Family Values’ Land,” Maher said, “Things like Plan B and the HPV vaccine are bad because they remove God’s natural, intended punishment for sluts who put out.”

“They do not want a vaccine for HPV because that’s the good kind of cancer that makes hussies think twice about about ‘going all the way,'” he explained.

Denying teens the vaccine and Plan B because maybe then they won’t have sex, he said, “is like not giving them an umbrella so it won’t rain.”

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Watch the video, embedded below via Political Zone 101: