What we are saying is that their strenuous efforts to both cram in as much homoeroticism as possible, while avoiding actual gay characters or storylines, is the stuff unintentional comedy is made of. For example...

At some point, possibly in the 80s, Hollywood decided that a good horror movie needed to be built on a strong foundation of homoerotic subtext. We're not saying it's a bad thing, this is 2009, after all.

5 The Lost Boys (1987)

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Summary:

A handsome young man is targeted by vampires. Everyone is dressed like members of WHAM!

After moving to the flamboyant new town of Santa Carla, Michael falls in with a crowd of bad dudes after being attracted by the gang's sole female member, Star. Strangely, none of the fellas in the gang seems to be showing any interest in her, forcing Michael to conclude that they're all in serious relationships with other female vampires.

Michael follows Star back to the vampires' lair, where the leader of the pack, David, tricks Michael into swallowing some of his bodily fluids. Or maybe it's not a trick, and Michael is just so impressed at having been invited over to Jack Bauer's house that he does it voluntarily.

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Pretty soon, Star is nowhere to be seen, and Michael demonstrates his loyalty to vampire-Jack Bauer by jumping off a bridge. He then lets his family know about his new lifestyle by coming home sporting the international sign of vampire-gang membership: a single ear piercing. Even his younger brother, Sam, who prides himself on his flamboyant "young Elton John" wardrobe, seems shocked by this.

Later, there's a rushed sex scene with Star which is obviously added to draw attention away from the flaming sexual tension between Michael and pale-Jack Bauer. However, it's not enough to distract us from the moment that propelled this movie onto the list. A moment that makes the gleaming man with his saxophone and studded codpiece seem as hetero as Brett Favre.

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The moment to which we refer comes when Sam opens his not-at-all-metaphorical closet, resulting in a shot which has led to years of speculation by experts.

That's Rob Lowe, folks.

Best Quote:

"My blood is in your veins!"

Wait, Are You Sure This is "Unintentional"?

Look, it was a different time. And that different time was the 80s.

It was an era of men with waxed chests, in towels. Of moussed hair and pastel shirts. The whole world was flamboyant and nobody felt threatened by it. The Lost Boys seems to have been filmed purely as a time capsule for the era that gave us Top Gun. Show the film to an amnesiac or somebody born in 1991, and they'll say "Oh, that's what you mean by 'ambient gay.'"

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So what if Corey had Rob Lowe in his closet. Lowe starred in St. Elmo's Fire, director Joel Schumacher's last film before he directed The Lost Boys. The picture on Sam's closet was probably more a jokey director shout-out than anything else.

On the other hand, Schumacher is openly gay and was responsible for putting the nipples and enormous dong on the batsuit.

Okay so maybe it was a little bit intentional.