As previously discussed, this hamfisted attempt at wit remains the scourge of retail establishments the world over.

As it turns out, the umpteen-million variations are even more hilariously clever!

For example, while the original version merely confuses a lot of people, this one just seems like a bizarre incentive for child abandonment.

Quickly, however, things start to get very un-p.c. (And also…very creepy.)

This version, in fact, is almost as popular as the original. (Other examples here and here and here and here and here and…is that a machete?)

Child slavery? Now that’s comedy gold. But really, why stop there? Why not “unattended children will be trafficked into child prostitution”? “Unattended children will be sold to pedophiles”? Or anally probed? or…

Hilarious, right?

related: the “your mother doesn’t work here” of the hospitality industry