FUNNY TOYS

My best friend Miguel has lived in Canada since he was a teenager but he hails from the land of drug-dealers and rapists (Donald Trump’s words, not mine), Mexico. A few years back Miguel returned home for a visit and he brought me back some terrible knock-off action figures of Batman and Nightwing as a souvenir. Those were exactly the type of figures I was hoping to find when I visited Mexico this past April for Miguel’s wedding. Unfortunately we were staying in a nice touristy area so junk like that was hard to come by. I talked about my failed search for Mexican action figures in this post when I returned from the trip.

After the whole wedding party and the invited guests enjoyed a week on the Mayan Riviera, Miguel and his new bride spent an additional week in Mexico in Miguel’s home town while the rest of us travelled back home. In true best friend fashion Miguel sought out some crappy Mexican toys for me once out of the tourist towns. Upon his return to Canada he told me that he found me some but he didn’t have a chance to give them to me until this past Saturday when we got together for some poker. (side note: I won five whole dollars but drank too much and spent the night puking my guts out. You gotta take the bad with the good I suppose.)

Miguel came through big time in the crappy action figure department. Not only did he get me a translucent light up ninja turtle but he also got me a 3-pack containing Captain America, the Hulk, and that other Avenger…Batman.

These things are atrocious.

The Captain, whom I have dubbed Captain Amexico, is a solid chunk of blue plastic which is probably slowly killing me with toxins the more I handle it (it does smell weird). It has some paint apps but they appear to have been applied by a 2-year old. The boots and gloves are sloppy but acceptable, the chest isn’t too bad either, but the face and shield are just wow. The giant gash of red paint on his leg is a nice touch too.

I wish his arms moved like Batman’s and Hulk’s do but this thing is glorious even if it can’t be posed in any way. This toy rules. Thanks Miguel. An ironic 10 out of 10. A realistic 1 out of 10.