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The terrible thing I did after the PKA drinking show, the Little Platinum Books/Maddox Patreon conspiracy, Cody Wilson calls in to talk about women and guns, my investigation into the Alex Jones trans-porn incident, Kate the Russian news babe, false-flagging Neil Armstrong, 4D-printed guns, “Bad Hombre” the Madcast pedophile, Dr. Nurse defects to our side, UCB front holes, the fake police pay another visit to a chat leaker, and my offer to pay Maddox’s rent since he seems to be hard up for cash; all that and more this week on The Dick Show!

The system is awash in Goss this week, and as the leaks continue, I’m not sure if we’ll ever keep up! Dr. Nurse, a former vehement Maddox supporter (much like the recently outed pedophile “Bad Hombre”), has defected to the decks of Dick this week after Maddox apparently threatened to call the cops on her.

And then he did. In retaliation or perhaps driven by motives of altruism and truthiness, Dr. Nurse has promised to drop an 80-page Gossier on the unravellings, sabotages, counter-sabotages, and disappointing cyber-sexual relations of the coward known as Maddox. If that happens, I believe an emergency bonus episode will be in order, which will of course be available only at Patreon.com/TheDickShow, but first…

What better way to encourage criminals, the mentally ill, and disenfranchised, inner-city youths to learn the job-skills they need to compete in the 21st century than by rewarding them with free guns? That’s the program I’m offering. Learn how to build, install, and troubleshoot a 3D printer. Become familiar with AutoCAD, Maya, or hell even SketchUp. Procure raw manufacturing materials, negotiate the supply chain and logistics of future technologies, and master a job skill in a developing field–I mean, did you know the SpaceX rockets were 3D printed? And in the end, instead of a diploma, you get a free gun. Doesn’t that sound great?

Now, I know what you’re thinking, don’t criminals have unlimited access to guns already? Aren’t 4 out of 5 guns used in crimes stolen or not legally owned? And why would criminals want a 3D-printed gun that looks like a bento box when most of their lives are spent blowing money on shit purely for the sake of vanity like rims and jewelry and tattoos? This “free gun for job skills” plan doesn’t make a lot of sense.

Well that’s where you’re wrong. In addition to rewarding criminals with free guns for learning job skills, I’m going to delete and censor all the information that would explain these flaws in my plan. Every statistic regarding gun crimes, every other single method and instruction detailing how to build a gun out of parts you can buy at Home Depot for $12–and in fact every other weapon will be banned; and most importantly, all history books detailing the invention of the world’s most dangerous weapons and their positive and lasting impacts on civilization–like gun powder and the nuclear bomb, which democratized force, gave birth to American, and brought us nuclear power–will be censured, just in case criminals tangentially get the idea that they’re working collectively toward a greater good.

It’s a fucking great idea.

“A Prayer For Tito” by Cameron Clarke.



“This Means War” by The Cuck Sockers.



“I’m Calling the Police” by Hazencruz.



And a thumbnail dedicated to the real men and women of fake law enforcement by Wormwood.

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