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Off roading after you’ve been drinking is pretty dumb. (Allegedly) loaning someone your Jeep to do so is even dumber.

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Back in August, a man was found in the early afternoon, pinned underneath a Jeep and dead from an apparent rollover, on the property of Boneyard Barbecue & Saloon in Hopkinton, Rhode Island.

“Hopkinton police said 48-year-old Derrick Payne Sr., of Chase Hill Road, suffered fatal injuries while using a 1992 Jeep to four-wheel through the driving range next to the restaurant, located at 15 Frontier Lane, during the early morning hours.

He was found around 1 p.m. Friday when an employee coming to work discovered the Jeep laying on the driver’s side with Payne trapped underneath, according to Hopkinton police.”

Although it’s tragic when anyone loses their life, especially when they leave a wife and sons behind, this seemed like a pretty straightforward case of a sad accident. That is until a couple weeks later when this popped up.

“Hopkinton police said Monday that the co-owner of the “Boneyard Barbecue and Saloon,” Patrick Kane, 32, of Westerly, was arrested on Friday and charged with obstructing an officer in the execution of duty.”

“Police said the 1992 Jeep belongs to Kane.”

Well that certainly got my attention. More from WPRI 12

“ The crash happened sometime after the restaurant closed at 1 a.m. that morning, according to police, and it wasn’t reported until nearly 12 hours later when an employee spotted the overturned vehicle. Police said Kane arrived at the restaurant around 7:30 a.m. and told officers he didn’t see the Jeep in the field. According to prosecutors, Kane told police the restaurant’s video surveillance equipment hadn’t been working for six months, though police noticed the equipment had been unplugged. Two employees also confirmed to police that the surveillance equipment had been working properly two days before the crash, prosecutors said.” The face you make when you realize you’re pretty much fucked. So the Jeep belonged to Kane, he was the first one to arrive at the restaurant the next day, and the surveillance equipment was unplugged. Nothing to see here, folks! Didn’t people learn anything from Aaron Hernandez? If smashing the security system didn’t work for him, simply unplugging it isn’t going to work for you. On Monday night, the Town Council revoked the establishments liquor license. “They then voted to adopt a statement saying the owners of the establishment had not upheld regulations designed to prevent alcohol-related injuries and death, they had participated in breaking them. The board then voted unanimously to revoke the license.” “First called to the podium was William Beggs, owner of the Boneyard in Seekonk and co-owner with Kane, as ADK LLC, of the Hopkinton Boneyard.” Now we know what Tormund has been doing to keep himself busy since Game of Thrones is over. “Lawyer Michael P. Lynch, in questioning Beggs and some of the Hopkinton officers, established that police had spoken with Beggs about drug activity and after-hours drinking, that the after-hours drinking continued, that patrons were “over served,” that people requiring emergency care or asleep in their vehicle had been drinking at Boneyard and that Kane was drunk on about 20 occasions while working as manager and bartender. One officer described arriving at the Boneyard before closing on May 12, 2019, and finding Kane passed out on the floor, covered in his own vomit and having soiled himself.”

Geez, I can’t imagine why this bar was having so many issues with over serving customers and E.R. trips. The owner/manager seems like a such a responsible guy. Who amongst us hasn’t shit ourselves during a night of drinking. If you’re raising your hand right now, do you even party, bro?

“Forbes said a bar patron showed him a photo of people dancing on the bar, including Kane, Kane’s mother, Payne, a man without a shirt and several others. The photo was time stamped 12:30 a.m. Aug. 16”

At least Yukon Beggs put a solid plan in place to solve the issues.

“Beggs, asked about what changes he had made after police spoke with him, remembered answering he would take care of it. His action was to require that patrons be cut off 15 minutes before closing.”

Oh, that should take care of it alright. Instead of serving right up until you close up, give them 15 minutes to sober up. Smart. Then again:

“(Beggs) became increasingly unable to understand or answer questions.”

‘Nuff said. Let’s get back to Mr. Kane.

“Detective John Forbes said he was second to arrive after the 911 call alerting police to the body under the Jeep. He gave details of the findings, that the seat belts in the Jeep showed it had three passengers, plus the driver, because they were wet and muddy, with traces of blood, even on the belts that had retracted into the holders. Hand prints on the body of the jeep indicated that people tried to move it.“

Wow. Just… wow. So you have indications that 4 people, including the deceased, were in the Jeep. You also have evidence that people tried to move it. My question is were they trying to save the driver or were they trying to somehow cover their tracks? This is all pretty circumstantial evidence, but even though the Jeep belonged to him, there’s no indication that Kane was one of the 4 people out there, right?

“(Forbes) said the medical examiner measured Payne’s blood alcohol level at 0.104 and that the time of death was between 1 and 2 a.m. Aug. 16, about 12 hours before the body was found.

The alarm system was armed at 4:13 a.m. Kane was the only one who could have armed it.”

Again, is that proof? No. He could have given the alarm code to another employee. But it doesn’t look very good. Either way, how big of a shitbag are you to try to cover something like this up? The deceased was at least enough of a friend to loan your vehicle to, and you (allegedly) leave his body out in a field for 12 hours until someone else finds him?

The police are still investigating and more charges could follow, but for now the owners have to decide whether to stay open with no liquor license or to sell the business. Given their track record, it’s clear that these guys can’t handle the responsibility that comes with serving alcohol to patrons, so maybe it’s time to cash in their chips and sell to someone else who is.

The party is over, boys.

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