It's no secret that Drake sucks at smoking weed: He rarely raps about it; he routinely claims to only do it in moderation; he never posts the late-night smoked-out Instagram. He's such a lightweight that he recently made headlines for allegedly getting too stoned to perform at a concert in Amsterdam, which, buddy, come on. Now, maybe Drake is so weed-averse because he just wants to be a good role model—after all, he's the biggest rapper in the world, and many people of all ages and backgrounds listen to his music. Or maybe he's being fiscally responsible because of the high price an extravagant weed lifestyle can cost musicians . Maybe he's even concerned about the legal consequences and doesn't want to spend his peak years facing drug charges.

But maybe there's something darker and more sinister at play. Maybe the reason Drake rarely smokes weed is that... Drake doesn't know how to smoke weed at all.

That's right. We here at Noisey are hereby putting forth the conspiracy theory that despite his money, his fame, and his connections, no one ever showed Drake how to smoke weed and, as a result, he is a 30-year-old man physically incapable of properly hitting a blunt. He may have started from the bottom, but, contrary to his lyrics, he definitely stayed there because he has absolutely no idea how to get high.

"How can you be so sure that Drake doesn't know how to smoke weed?" you may be asking. Surely, as the world's most famous rapper, as the protegé of Lil Wayne, he must have someone around who can show him, right? Perhaps. Or perhaps he has always just tried to play it cool and act like he knows what's going on, and, at this point, he is understandably too embarrassed to ask.

Is this possible? Could Drake actually be worse at smoking weed than he is at working out? Could this be the biggest hip-hop cover-up of all time? Let's look at the evidence:

Exhibit A: The Wiz Khalifa Video

Here we have a video of Drake performing with Wiz Khalifa in 2014. First, consider that this video is supposedly the first time Drake ever smoked weed onstage, making it a pivotal piece of evidence in the case for or against his ability to smoke weed at all. Now, consider what visual clues it might offer. Let's look at Drake taking the stage:

Look us in the eyes and tell us this is a guy who has ever smoked weed before. Honestly tell us this guy has inhaled the tiniest modicum of kush and absorbed any of the calm that comes with it. It looks like he loaded up on Fun Dip and Mountain Dew before rushing out there. Now, in comparison, let's look at Wiz Khalifa taking the stage:

Notice the slow pace, the trailing cloud that envelops his entire body, the fact that he just looks like a fucking guy who has smoked weed before. In comparison to Drake's hyperactive, childlike stage antics, it's pretty clear which of these two is well versed in the art of weed smoking. We can even zoom and enhance the side-by-side comparison in the ensuing frames:

After a few minutes, Wiz passes the blunt to Drake, who hits it. But smoke immediately leaves his mouth, indicating that he pulled a "Bill Clinton" and had no intention of actually inhaling. Furthermore, you may notice that he looks at the blunt, as if considering taking a second hit or perhaps wondering whether or not the first puff was done correctly but ultimately does not put it to his lips again. Busted: