Vaginal looseness is a problem that plagues many women. It is the result of aging – as a woman matures, her body gradually decreases its production of estrogen. This hormone is responsible for keeping vaginal muscles strong and tight. Once estrogen levels start to wane, the muscles weaken and lose their elasticity. They also become thin and weak, which can dramatically change the way intercourse feels. In your particular case, you’ve experienced a loss of sensation and can no longer “feel” your husband’s penis.

Age isn’t the only culprit when it comes to vaginal looseness. Childbirth also contributes to this condition, especially when a woman has endured multiple vaginal deliveries. It’s important to know the vagina is like an accordion: it stretches to accommodate intercourse and childbirth and then “snaps” back into place. After repeatedly being stretched, however, the vagina’s tissues become fatigued. This means they’ve lost their previously youthful tension and will no longer contract back into place.

Implications on Intimacy

Right now, you probably feel your sex life is ruined. But that’s hardly the case. Society has long been programmed to think neither men nor women enjoy sex again after a woman gives birth. The reality is that all women, whether or not they’ve given birth, will experience vaginal looseness. As previously explained, this is a natural part of the aging process, and women continue to enjoy sex at all ages. The key is in how you do it.

Before intercourse, set the stage for romance with candles and soft music. Make yourself feel sexy and desirable with lingerie, silky panties or any other article of clothing – you can also opt for full nudity. Then take control and show your husband what you like. You mentioned he has never given you an orgasm. For the record, most women do not climax during vaginal penetration because the vagina is not a sex organ. Instead, females typically need clitoral stimulation. Encourage your husband to gently stroke, lick or rub your clit until you reach orgasm. This will change the way in which you perceive penetration, and it will make intercourse much more enjoyable.

Also remember that sex should be a meaningful experience. This is a time for the two of you to revel in closeness. Forget about vaginal looseness, childbirth and all the other worries that afflict your daily life. Live in the moment and, again, communicate to your husband what feels good. You never know - a change in technique might be the perfect solution to combatting vaginal looseness.

Explore New Sexual Techniques and Forego Surgery

When it comes to technique, keep in mind that what felt good to you 10 years ago may no longer bring the same pleasure. A woman’s body changes with time, just as a man’s does. The two of you probably need to try some new positions in bed. Skip the missionary, which “opens” the vagina to its widest, and try sex from behind or with you on top. This will help your vagina feel snugger during intercourse.