Amal Fashanu made a documentary about her uncle, Justin, who killed himself after coming out as gay (Picture: Getty)

Amal Fashanu, 23, is John Fashanu’s daughter and produced a documentary about her uncle Justin, Britain’s first professional footballer to come out as gay who committed suicide in 1998.

I went to school in St John’s Wood, north London. My dad [John, a professional footballer] was presenting Gladiators and he’d come on sports day and it was a big deal for everyone. I was captain of the blue team and it always looked like a set-up when my dad would give me the trophies.

I was ten when my uncle Justin committed suicide. I was actually waiting for him to take me on a visit to Elton John’s studio when we found out. Me and my mum were the last people to see Justin as we’d spent the previous evening together. I remember him well and we’d do a lot of things together. He was like a family hero to me.

Justin Fashanu was the first professional footballer to come out as gay. He commited suicide in 1998 (Picture: Allsport UK)

I’ll never forget the day I was told he had died. It could have been avoided. It’s not like he had a terminal illness – he decided to commit suicide. I was very angry because I didn’t understand why. I didn’t know about Justin being gay because my parents shielded me from it. I remember being at the funeral and there were paparazzi at the door trying to get in.




We had to do a school project when I was 16 about someone we admired and I wrote about Justin. I tried to find out as much as I could. I felt people weren’t fair to him when he came out as gay and I read things my dad had said about him – things such as how he wouldn’t want to shower in the same changing rooms. My parents were a bit reluctant to talk about him. Then I and found out there was a man in Brighton who’d set up the Justin Campaign, which is about homophobia in football, and I got involved in that. From there, I was interviewed for a TV programme, which led to the documentary I did about Justin and gay footballers.

I’d never spoken to my dad about what happened. I have a lot of respect for my dad and didn’t want to upset him. I had never seen my dad cry until we spoke about Justin for the programme. I just wanted to ask: ‘Why say those things?’ My dad was under pressure at the time and he was young. They were very close and those things must have really upset Justin. I think if my dad could erase the things he’d said he would.

We haven’t spoken about it since. It’s hurtful to him and for me to keep bringing it up. My dad knows how much I love him. There comes a point where you have to try to forgive and forget.

Fashanu is launching a fashion line Fash And U available from her website www.amalfashanu.com

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