MCKINNEY, TX—Instructing him to inquire about everything from his occasional sinus problems to his thyroid levels, local mother Kim Swailes provided her 32-year-old son Patrick Swailes with a list of questions to ask his doctor ahead of an upcoming appointment, sources confirmed Monday. “Make sure to ask them about your stomach issues, and have them check your blood pressure—your dad’s been having trouble with his cholesterol lately,” Swailes told her son over the phone, making the man who has lived on his own for over a decade promise to verify that all his immunizations were up to date and to ask about the meningitis outbreak she recently heard about on the evening news. “And see if he thinks you should get that mole on your back checked out, too. I know it’s been there your whole life, but it can’t hurt to have him take a look.” Sources later confirmed that, apropos of nothing, Swailes reminded her adult son that if he doesn’t wear sunglasses in the sun, he could get cataracts.

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