I’ll leave the point-by-point rebuttal of Sarah Palin’s convention speech to the policy wonks. The only point I am interested in making at the moment is that Sarah Palin can wrap her juicy moose-eating lips right around my dick and suck it raw. This is not a personal attack on her. Not at all. I am just pointing out that Sarah Palin can put best put her two years of gubernatorial experience to use by taking my turgid cock into her mouth until I shoot semen into her Great White North.

Sarah Palin is a reformer. And as a reformer, I suggest the first thing that she does when she gets to Washington is to get down on her knees and blow me. Why? Because that would represent real change in America.

She has shown such fortitude and resolve when dealing with the powerful special interests and media elites that deep-throating me should be no problem at all. This is a woman who can handle anything: she can drive all five kids to hockey practice, snowmobile over Mt. Everest, teach creationism to the PTA and still have time to skin a non-endangered polar bear. With all that on her plate, a little dick sucking should be a piece of cake.

And lest any of you think this post is sexist, it’s not. Because Rudy Giuliani, Mitt Romney, and Fred Thompson can suck my dick, too. I don’t want John McCain to.