Well, “friends” might be a stretch. I don’t think Trump actually has friends. Associates? Gobsmacked, open-mouthed starers?

Mike Bloomberg knows Donald Trump and knows how to get his goat. After Trump attacked the self-made billionaire business genius’ height yet again this morning, Bloomberg hit Trump where it hurts:

x .@realDonaldTrump - we know many of the same people in NY. Behind your back they laugh at you & call you a carnival barking clown. They know you inherited a fortune & squandered it with stupid deals and incompetence.



I have the record & the resources to defeat you. And I will. https://t.co/fO4azmZaUg — Mike Bloomberg (@MikeBloomberg) February 13, 2020

As a real businessman who actually made his own fortune, Bloomberg knows what he’s talking about. I don’t want him as our nominee, but I sure hope he keeps smashing Pumpkin (metaphorically, of course).

Seriously, though. Donald Trump bankrupted casinos. CASINOS! It would be easier to lose your house because your 5-year-old daughter ran a failed lemonade stand. It’s like a male prostitute choking to death on his own dick. A gaming license is essentially a license to print money, FFS.

As well as anyone else, Bloomberg can explain to people that Trump is an idiot businessman who screwed up his businesses and the country. I sure hope he keeps this up after he drops out.

Because I ♥ my readers, my latest e-book Dear Pr*sident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump, will be on sale for a redonkulous 99 cents starting on Valentine’s Day. It shoots up to (a still-redonkulous) $1.99 three days later, and then back to regular price (a moderately redonkulous $2.99) on February 21. Meanwhile, you can find all my acclaimed Trump-trashing treatises at Amazon. Reviewers have called these books “hysterically funny,” “cathartic,” and “laugh-out-loud” comic relief.