you call 'Starboard!' on roundabouts and slip roads; you say 'over' in telephone conversations; you use fenders in car parks; you tack up hills; you find yourself humming 'Sailing By' (only UK sailors will understand this one!); you think pilots are books; Genoa doesn't mean a city in Italy; you think 'tell-tales' are good to have around; you knot your tie with a round turn and two half-hitches; you think sex should be followed by tant; you think 'painting her bottom' isn't just a personal thing; you'd have no qualms about rolling around on a Galway Hooker; you wouldn't have a tender behind if you hadn't hooked up with the painter; you only use the sea cock if you think no-one's looking; you've caught a roach in your mainsail; you think breast ropes should be compulsory for non-compliant women; you know that baggywrinkle doesn't need cosmetic treatment.

you'd like to haul a yankee up the forestay; a properly dug-in anchor isn't just a fluke; you know a barber hauler isn't an instrument of torture for bad hairdressers; you need another pint at the bitter end; you can't fathom out metric charts; you don't wince at the thought of ground tackle; you know that loose talk won't scandalise the main; sweating and tailing is no bad thing; you go to your local Spar Shop and come back with a spinnaker pole; a true bearing isn't just a class thing; the cabin sole smells like fish; being 'off soundings' isn't an aversion to farts; a knot in your stomach is cured by a bight of rope; you think gaff-rigged boats are nothing more than an embarrassing error; you think Chinese junks belong in land fills; you wonder why 'yawls' are so frequently referred to by Texans