Last Friday while eating my lunch I was looking through ebay and showing off my finds to Chatzy tea friends and twitter. Oh man did I find weird stuff! I imagine not all of you readers are on twitter, and these tea ware finds were just too crazy to not see!

I’ll link everything I found just in case someone really wants to get it. Items linked July 2015.

Tea Pets

If you get deep into the bowels of ebay and aliexpress looking at tea pets, you’ll find quite a few NSFW ones. I won’t link those. Even deeper into the bowels, all you will find is dog shampoo listings.

Celadon Ru Kiln Deer Tea Pet. That’s not a deer guys. I do like the glaze on the egg, it makes it look tasty like frosting.

Sassy Poodle Tea Pet. I’ve seen a number of dog tea pets, but usually that floppy ear kind of dog, nothing as specific as a poodle.

Walnut Tea Pet. I saw so many of these and they are cheap too. I’m not sure why one would want a walnut on their tea table. I could see it being a nice tea pet for only nutty ripe pu’er though.

Cabbage Tea Pet. Whoops, this one is from Aliexpress but I had to include it since it goes with the walnut. I think I would jump on this if it was $5 like the walnuts. There’s a couple of these on aliexpress but they are over $15! A cabbage on the tea table is just so random that it would make good instagram fodder.

WHAT IS THIS THING?! I think it’s supposed to be a dragon tortoise, but it’s so horrific I want to bleach my eyes.

Alright, that was traumatic. I’ll show you a dangerously cute one –

Hedgehog Tea Pet. Doubles as a bashing weapon or pu’er cake tenderizer. I would totally hurt myself with this tea pet.

Gaiwans

Fat Bird Easy Gaiwan. That’s one chubby bird! Gorgeous gaiwan too, I love the pink flowers. That bird though… it’s really fat.

Superfine Fat Panda Gaiwan. Super fine? They look a little scruffy to me.

Dragon Scale Gaiwan Set. I can see some guys liking this and this would be the set my Dad would buy to impress me. I think it’s the perfect tea set for a 1980’s Kung Fu movie being used by the villain.

Supersize me Gaiwan 300ml. 300ml! Over 5 Inches wide. HOLY MOLY! And I thought 150ml was large. There was a couple designs of these on ebay but for the price tag, it might be easier to use a tea pot or a soup bowl.

Yixing Pots

Weird Yixing pots are easy to find. You got lots of Mao ones, some NSFW freaky ones and weird lumpy animal ones.

Yinyang Double Yixing Pot. Hey, you get two pots for one! I bet if I poured tea out of them I would miss and tea my lap.

Frog Yixing Pot. There’s plenty of yixing tea pots with little animals on the lid, however I am unsure what they were trying to do with the shape. The frog in on a blobby thing that I think is supposed to be a sea shell? The clay is pretty and the price is good.

Bird Dragon Gourd Yixing Pot. Whoa, this is so busy that I’m not sure what is going on here. It says it’s a gourd, but it looks like two tea pots smushed together with derpy creatures on it.

Lawn Chair Yixing Pot. I remember it was a running joke for awhile on some Cheezeburger site I used to visit before Reddit, and it was of house listings and how everyone had tacky white lawn chairs. Now you can have a lawn chair on your tea table. It needs matching cups and tea pet, I’m thinking a sprinkler as a tea pet.

After I linked the lawn chair yixing I thought I was done. That tea pot was just too insane. Then I found this:

Yixing Tanuki/Red Panda Pitcher. The panda is bloated and screaming. This is the stuff of nightmares.

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