What does it mean when you’ve been unfriended on Face Book from your Church? Over the years as times have changed and social media rules the world. It’s no longer a matter of hanging up on someone writing a stern hand written letter, or just simply telling someone in person that you’re angry. This is the generation of Facebook, Twitter, and threatening to call FOX 5!

Over the weekend I attend the funeral service for my Grandmother Winifred Show. One on the Eastern shore where she lived for the past 8 years, and A second in her home town. She was a member of the same church Millian Memorial United Methodist Church in Rockville, MD for almost 60 years. She joined only 3 years after the church opened its doors. So it’s safe to say she was a founding member. When she moved away because she was no longer able to live on her own she still gave monthly to the same church she had dedicated so many years to. This continued every month unit she passed away. She volunteered most of her time to this church. Heading many committees and funding several renovations. From helping the church upgrade to Stained Glass windows, to the replacement of the Hymnals. She was even a part of the main buildings ground breaking. All purchased with money she and her friends donated. She was the single most selfless person I’ve ever known. I’ve never known anyone to say one negative thing about her. She was the type of person who volunteered for Meals on Wheels every week for over 20 years. Was the head of the prayer chain, helped run her church circle groups. Assisted with countless funeral receptions. She was always there to help someone in need her entire life. To think that anyone would be so disrespectful to her and that her funeral would have ANY drama would be unimaginable.

In her final days she requested that her service be performed at the Church her heart had always been, performed by the retired minister who also performed her Husband and Son’s Service. We reached out the acting Minister Miguel A. Balderas to make these arrangements. To the families surprise he REFUSED to allow the services at our church unless we allowed him to perform the Elegy. We offered that he participate in the service. We offered to make a large donation even. He didn’t have the decency to call the family, he simply replied with an email NO. He even went as far in saying it was Against United Methodist Policy to have another minister perform a Funeral service at his home church.

I went down in person to speak with him and beg that he reconsider. I was hoping that possibly he just didn’t understand what her involvement in the church’s history. After 4 trips to the church to track him down, I finally managed a meeting. We sat down where I explained who she was. How she had been a member for 60 years. I was trying to help him understand. He just kept repeating himself “I am Pastor, I understand”, that it was out of his control and that he couldn’t change United Methodist policy. Now prior to meeting with him I reached out to other active ministers who were in shock that he wouldn’t allow us to have her service. It was not against policy it was at the minister’s discretion. I told him that after 92 years of life my grandmother deserved to have someone speak about her that actually knew her. He said he had never heard of our family before nor seen us at the church, and at the end of the conversation he said he would take what I said into consideration now that he has met the family and call me that very evening. I never heard from him again.

She gave 60 years of her life to this church, and a minister who had only been part of the church since July refused the only thing she ever asked in return. It was heartbreaking. We were forced to have a grave side only service that was time limited. We used the majority of that time struggling to usher my grandmothers friends up the incline and into seats. When you are 92 years old your friends tend to be around the same age. The small number of the immediate family wasn’t even able to sit so that we could allow her friends to sit comfortably. To make matters completely worse, this Minister had the nerve to come to the grave side to say a few words at her service. He even went as far as to pass on we were able to donate money to him for his time at the service! He stood at the front of the grave watching us struggle to move wheel chairs, and escort these old women to the limited seats. Never offering assistance, and didn’t even have the decency to speak in person to the family. We never said a word, It was a long and sad day. We allowed them to speak at the service briefly. Did I forget to mention that due to Minister Balderas raising an issue with our service, that the retired minster almost backed out of the grave side service? He was concerned it was a very political issue and he didn’t want to get in the middle. What in the world is political about having a funeral service performed by someone we know?!

Yesterday I went to the Church’s face book page only to discover that I had been Un-friended. I’m guessing he was concerned that I might post something on their page. Minister Miguel A. Balderas is a despicable human being who is going to run Millian into the ground. The church members found out that he’s going to spend ½ of his time working in the main office for the Bishop. So this point he was trying to make that he was in charge of the church now at my grandmothers expense was for a church he’s not even going to be fully supporting. I do not pretend to be a perfect Christian. I do not attend church regularly. However my grandmother did and never deserved this level of disrespect. When you Google Minister Miguel A. Balderas, what comes up is an article welcoming him to the church. He doesn’t deserve that kind of greeting. I’m going to make it my personal mission to shed the correct light on this man. This level of disrespect will not go unspoken of. Dealing with the loss of a loved one is the hardest thing you can go through. This minister made a heart breaking situation even worse.

Miguel Balderas may have blocked her service and removed me from Face book. However he can’t hide from the fact that he is hurting the very church members that still finically fund this church. The demographic of the community that they are trying to cater to, are not filling the offering plates. They are not keeping the church a float. He is trying to push out the members that are left that are the foundation of that church. As you told me 40 times in our one conversation “I am pastor, I understand”

Well sir, I am Granddaughter, she was my world. You will not succeed, I will not allow you. I will make sure people know the kind of person you are

Laura Show

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