plaidfem-blog:

Bdsm sexualizes violence, and since sexualized violence is the most pressing issue facing women world wide, I am very much against it.

Many bdsm advocates pose bdsm as akin to sexuality, something you are born with and beyond your control. I don’t believe this is true.

If you look around, female sexuality (which is always displayed as heterosexuality) is very much “supposed” to be submissive (and I know not all female bdsm-ers are submissive, but the majority are). Bdsm isn’t subversive, it is very much playing into the dominant narrative of female sexuality — that women exist to please and serve men, and that male violence against women is “sexy” and how sex is supposed to be.

Two quick examples off the top of my head — the violent language surrounding sexuality (pounded her, tore her up) and the accepted “truth” that losing your virginity is, for women, supposed to be painful.

This idea of sexuality is directly responsible for the oppression of women, and bdsm upholds this 100%. And then on top of that, much of bdsm goes even farther, to outright sexualize rape and abuse, and even murder.

Looking at a beaten and battered woman and feeling sexually aroused will never be anything but a sign of sociopathy, and getting a group of these men together and praising them for their “courage” in admitting their true nature is dangerous to women. Getting women who want to be abused and dehumanized (and I view sexual masochism as similar to people who want to cut or otherwise harm themselves — a sign of mental instability/trauma) and introducing them to these men, setting them up and facilitating their abuse, is, obviously harmful.

I do not believe you can get off on harming other people, or the idea of harming other people, and be a good person. The two are mutually exclusive.

As for pairings other than male dom/female sub, I find them wrong, but not near as wrong as male dom/female sub, because those relationships are enforced by our entire society, because those relationships are the most literal manifestation of misogyny and male abuse of women.

So quick run down:

male doms — the absolute worst, deserve slow and painful deaths

female doms — not good

male subs — unhealthy, need to get out of those relationships for their own well being

female subs — unhealthy, have been manipulated into enjoying their own oppression and are facing some severe physiological problems because of that, are being exploited and are in very real danger

Umm, I think that about explains my position, if I wasn’t clear about anything, let me know.