Hey Mom! Dad! Assorted childhood friends! I know I usually just order stuff at the last minute on Amazon (or decide I’m not getting anyone anything at all), but this year, I wanted to do something really special for you guys. Give everyone a little taste of where I’ve been living. Of Brooklyn. You all deserve it. So, I scrimped and saved and got each and every one of you a matching leather pentagram tank top from Roberta’s (a very popular local pizza place!) that costs as much as I pay to keep a roof over my head every month.

Good thing I ordered them ahead of time for everybody, since they’re already out of stock. I think I’ve really taken the next step into adult decision-making this year. Hope you’re all proud. Send a pic of yourself in the tank! xoxo

(Hat tip to Eater for this insanity.)

Follow Virginia K. Smith on Twitter @vksmith.