How did you establish this record’s sound? It’s very different than your past EPs, which had more electronic beats and were a lot less direct vocally.

When people trash you, you’re forced to look at yourself and be like, “OK, you have to get better.” What does getting better mean? Well, you don’t know what getting better means. Stop trying to figure out what it means and watch the process and just learn. So I sat and I learned and then I got angry because so much was happening in the meantime. People were putting their albums out, and I was getting looked over again and again and again. I was just like, “I feel like I’m disappearing into the ether, like I’m not important.” At times, I was like, “Maybe I shouldn’t make this.” But that anger turned into commitment into being.

Listening to my old music, I’m like, “This is too low. There’s too much reverb.” I was scared of the sound of my own voice. But then I became too fed up to be scared anymore, so I was like, “I don’t give a fuck if my voice is nasally. We need to figure out a better mic.” You have to learn if you want to do better, and some of that shit might be ass, but you have to just do it, and I just did that.

I really love the specificity of your lyrics. It’s not just like, “Let’s go and watch TV.” It’s like, “Let’s watch ‘Narcos.’”

I love “Narcos.” It’s always fucked up.

Writing, did you have a moment where it was like, “Oh, if I just say the thing I’m thinking, it’s gonna be better than trying to figure out a new way to say the thing I’m thinking.”

I have adult ADHD, so I was bored with generic me, so specificity made my thoughts interesting to me. Otherwise, everything just disappears out of my brain so fast. My mind is like, “Where did it go?” So if something is more poignant or pungent, it usually sticks a little longer, and the stuff that sticks is the stuff I like to transfer [into lyrics].

Do you think your music is effective because people can see themselves in those specific situations as well?

When I’m looking at someone in a crowd and I can see their face and I’m confident in the way that I’m talking to them when I sing, I’m like, “I know you need me right now. I’m gonna pay attention to you. I want you to know that I see you and I’m talking to you.” I can see in their face that they’re really fucked up in that moment of whatever we’re talking about in the song, or however the music makes them feel, and they just need to be with me.

I know how they feel because I felt like that at some point. It’s weird. When you write from your subconscious, you don’t always know how you feel until you hear it and you’re like, “Oh, interesting.” There’s definitely shit that’s not on the album ’cause it was way too much, too personal. Live from my subconscious! I’m actually glad it’s not on the album. Some people couldn’t handle “The Weekend,” or “Supermodel.” Conceptually, it’s still taboo. I’m just like, “What’s wrong with you? Why is this weird to you, that everyone fucks, everyone gets sad, everyone wishes they made better decisions, everyone wishes they had more control?”

In one way, I want to heal people. In other ways, I don’t want to confuse people and have them feel like, “What does this mean?” When it gets too personal, even if it’s dark or crazy, it’s just scary. I don’t write about shit that didn’t happen to me, so it can be too much, but I have courage. I was thinking about putting all the shit that I was scared to put on my album onto the deluxe version and then disappearing. “The Weekend”—I got about four of them shits. I had no clue that people liked shit like that.

After singing about so many sensitive, real-life details on your album, have there been any consequences?

I dated such arrogant men, they’re just so full of themselves. But I also feel like they don’t care that I’m singing about them. They still want to come to the show because they’re arrogant. Then some boys wished it was [about them], and they were like, “I didn’t hurt you that bad.” And I’m like, “You’re right, you didn’t, so congrats.” Like, relax. But it’s been interesting. Lord. It’s been so crazy, those boys. People are more mad at me about the way I treated my exes than I am. I’m always just like, “He deserved it. He don’t give a fuck about what I did. I was minding my business in Brooklyn, while he was in Vegas having an orgy.” It’s been a strange time.

As your life changes, how do you imagine that it will shape your music in the future?

I’m sorry, I burped. I’ve been burping all day.

I didn’t hear!

I didn’t even start diminishing my ego until the end of this project, so now I’m really all the way in, talking to my inner dialogue, really acknowledging thoughts as they come in, and sweeping some of them shits to the side, like, “No, get the fuck out of here with that. Don’t use any words that indicate fear. You’re only excited, at worst, anxious. You gotta be clear.” Each moment has to be like that. If it’s the Grammys, if it’s anything, you have to just let it be mindful and create the dialogue rather than just filter the dialogue. That’s where I’m at right now. I never did that before. I was barely filtering it out on Ctrl. I was just worried about whatever the fuck was in my brain, but now I’m understanding. In a weird way, my acceptance of a lack of control gave me the gift of control.