A mother who has been charged with manslaughter for accidentally killing her 21-month-old baby daughter is begging police to let her kill herself. Get all the details here.

Nicole Engler, 38, was taken into police custody on June 21 after her 21-month-old daughter Remy was found dead in her car in Roseburg, Oregon, according to The Oregonian. Nicole had forgotten to take Remy to daycare that day and didn’t realize she was still in the car when she arrived to work at Evergreen Family Medicine, where she works as a pediatric nurse. Hours later, Nicole returned to her car only to find little Remy unconscious and blue. Remy was so mortified and distraught witnesses said her screams could be heard across the hospital parking lot.

Although The Douglas County Medical Examiner’s office ruled Remy’s death an accident on June 28, Nicole has been charged with second-degree manslaughter. While behind bars, Nicole has allegedly asked the guards to let her commit suicide. “This is not about a heartless mother who does the unthinkable,” Nicole’s lawyer Richard Wesenberg said in a statement. Normally, Nicole’s husband brought their daughter to daycare, however, that morning he was fast asleep on the couch, so Nicole took it upon herself to get Remy dressed and ready.

But, when she was in the car she fell back into her routine, which does not include bringing Remy to day care, so she went to work, completely forgetting about the baby in the backseat. Weirdly, Nicole did return to her car during her lunch break to grab a bite to eat from Dutch Bros, Coffee stand, and still didn’t notice Remy in the back. She allegedly even gushed over the little girl to baristas in the shop.

When she found Remy’s body at the end of her shift, Nicole ran her into the hospital. The medical staff at the hospital where she works tried to save the baby, but it was unfortunately too late. We can’t possibly imagine how difficult this is for the Engler family. Our hearts go out to them during this difficult time.