Dear Orange Julius Caesar. Happy Fucking New Year you obnoxious piece of shit. I read your New Year reminder that I am your enemy and you are mine. As if I needed reminding.



I hope 2017 brings you protests, disdain, humiliation, bladder and bowel restrictions, urinary incontinence, projectile vomiting, diarrhea from your ass (your mouth and Twitter account already have it), cramps, impotence, painful urination, suppurating sores, deep vein thrombosis, migraine headaches, hemorrhoids, cataracts, corns, bunions, gout, ingrown toenails, muscle spasms, facial tics, arthritis and venereal diseases.



I hope the rest of your hair falls out in chunks on National television.



I hope Melania leaves you and your son is as temperamental and childish as his father.



I hope the Obama's dogs left piles of shit for you to step in all over the White House and the White House lawn, although I pity the shit for the indignity of being stepped in by the likes of you.



I have many more wishes for you Donald, but I know your attention span is short so I will save those for Valentine's Day if you haven't gotten us all killed by then. Okay asshole?



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