We now know the real relationship behind the IU murder-suicide

Initially, police investigating the fatal stabbing of Indiana University student Yaolin Wang were told that the 21-year-old and her suspected attacker, Chuanlin Xiao, 20, were boyfriend and girlfriend.

Friends said the pair met at a community college near Seattle in the spring and were in the middle of a six-month relationship. In the month leading up to Wang's death and Xiao's subsequent suicide by hanging on Sept. 30, they shared an apartment in the 3100 block of Goodnight Way in Bloomington.

But information released Wednesday by the Bloomington Police Department reveal that any stories of Wang and Xiao being in a happy relationship were wrong.

As police dug deeper, they learned that Xiao played the role of abuser, not boyfriend, in Wang's life.

According to Capt. Joe Qualters, Wang and Xiao did first meet in Seattle, but Xiao immediately began to attempt to control her. He imposed his will by moving into her residence and threatening her loved ones, Qualters said.

"Wang did not want anyone to know of the problems she was having with Xiao and did not seek outside assistance from school officials or law enforcement," Qualters said in a statement. "Friends of Wang tried to intervene on her behalf, but Xiao informed them that he came from a powerful family in China who could retaliate against their families there if they were the cause of him getting into trouble in the United States."

After a trip home to China over the summer, Wang began attending school at Indiana University, Qualters said. On Aug. 22, two days before the start of IU's fall semester, Xiao arrived in Bloomington and once again moved in with Wang and refused to leave.

Police learned that Xiao continued his attempts to gain control over Wang by stealing her passport, hiding her cosmetics and forcing her to give him money. Wang did not seek outside help because the issue was "too personal," Qualters said.

"Nothing about her problems with Xiao was revealed to family on her trip to China over the summer or during a recent visit by her father prior to her death," Qualters said.

Xiao briefly returned to Seattle on Sept. 19 but returned to Bloomington on Sept. 30. On that day, Wang sent a text message to a friend saying something similar to "my nightmare is back," Qualters said.

Wang attended a scheduled class on Sept. 30. That night, a call was placed to 911 after Wang's body was found on a patio area in apartment building with multiple stab wounds. Xiao's body was found hanging in a nearby stairwell.

On Oct. 7, hundreds of students, loved ones and supporters gathered in Dunn Meadow Park as the IU community paid their last respects to Wang, as well as Joseph Smedley II, a 20-year-old student whose body was pulled from Griffy Reservoir in an unconnected incident on Oct. 2.

During that vigil, Wang's father said he would take the tuition that was returned to him and start an endowment fund in Yaolin's name at IU so that "she never has to leave."

The nature of Wang's abuse is not uncommon among victims of domestic violence, said Catherine O'Connor, president and CEO of The Julian Center in Indianapolis. The center provides services to victims of domestic violence, sexual assault and human trafficking.

"Although we think of domestic violence as more of the physical violence, this is an excellent example of what is really more often the case," O'Connor said, "is that the abuse doesn't start out with physical abuse, and it escalates along the way."

In discussing cases like Wang's, O'Connor also cautioned against inadvertently putting responsibility on the victim for not finding assistance. She said doing so could prevent other victims from seeking help.

"The victim is made to feel isolated and threatened," O'Connor said. "It demonstrates the power of an abuser to make a victim feel like those are not viable alternatives."

O'Connor said, however, that there are options for seeking help discreetly, even while the person is still in an abusive relationship. She suggested that a victim, family member or friend could dial 211, which assists people experiencing crises.

And she said the Julian Center often first speaks with domestic violence victims while they are still in abusive relationships.

Put simply, O'Connor said: "If you need help, get help."

October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. In a news release, Qualters used the new revelations about Wang's case to remind students and residents of local resources that assist those who may need help but don't know where to turn.

"The Bloomington Police Department supports those agencies and organizations that work to reduce domestic violence," Qualters said. "It is important to emphasize that help is available both on and off campus for Bloomington citizens and for college students who may need assistance with determining how to deal with a domestic violence situation."

Call Star reporter Jill Disis at (317) 444-6137. Follow her on Twitter: @jdisis. Call Star reporter Justin L. Mack at (317) 444-6138. Follow him on Twitter: @justinlmack.

National resources for victims of domestic violence

National Coalition Against Domestic Violence

The National Domestic Violence Hotline

Resources in Indianapolis

Connect2Help211: Dial 2-1-1

The Julian Center: (317) 920-9320

Resources at Indiana University–Bloomington