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And then there's Alberta Martin, who has a kind of similar story, but with a nasty twist. At age 21, Alberta married 81-year-old Confederate vet William Jasper Martin, mostly so she could get her hands on his pension to help raise her son from a previous marriage. Ten months later, she had a baby -- the last baby (presumably) sprung from the loins of a veteran of the Civil War. We say "presumably" because within two months of her husband's death, she remarried. His grandson. Mrs. Double Martin passed away in 2004.

Finally, there's Gertrude Janeway, the last widow of a Union soldier. Like the other ladies on this list, Gertrude married her very old beau as a teenager, but she got a whole 10 years with her lover before he passed away. Unlike the other ladies on this list, Gertrude collected his pension check from the United States government until the day she died in 2003. That $70 a month may have been modest, but it spanned three centuries.

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We're going to guess that the century:erection ratio wasn't much better than 1:1.

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If there's anything you should take from these ladies' stories, it's that you should never underestimate the power of a horny old man.

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