Transformers: Kiss Players is a series that could only come from Japan. And by that I mean it’s filled with pedophilia.

If you’re anything like me then erotic fantasies about the Transformers are an everyday occurrence. But would these giant robots love you back? According to official canon the answer is yes… but only if you’re a prepubescent girl. Yes, the Transformers had a series about robots kissing little girls. Yes, it was an official story-line and part of the main continuity. Yes, it was filled with blatantly pornographic imagery. Yes, it was produced in Japan.

Now, before I go on I want to make sure we’re all on the same page when I call this series pornographic. I’m not going to feature a lot of images from the comic in this article for obvious reasons, but I am going to share a few just so you understand what I mean. Keep in mind that these are some of the tamer examples and no, once again, I’m not exaggerating when I say that.

That would be a Legion, who enters the page by cornering a child against a wall and then grinning at her ass so hard that he literally drools. Then he erupts into humanoid form and lunges at her, slimy tentacle dangling from his mouth, as she attempts to force her exposed crotch into frame. You know, typical Transformers stuff.

This supposedly isn’t what it looks like

If you’re still not convinced that this is meant as, um, “adult entertainment,” then consider the fact that Yuki Oshima, the writer and designer for Kiss Players, knew full well about the controversy. He even commented on the matter, claiming he was attempting shock the audience and that the series was intended for a specific subset of Transformers’ adult audience. Also, the girls aren’t children at all. They were supposed to be, but the company insisted they be aged up. Not because of the nonstop sexual content of course. Because they have to be able to drive. No, really, that’s the actual reason. This means that they are, at minimum, 16.

Pictured: a sixteen year old

The plot of Kiss Players is confusing, convoluted, and just plain weird, but the basic premise is that the Earth has been completely wiped clean of Transformers. Giant monsters called Legion rampage through Japan and in an attempt to defeat them humans create their own man-made Transformers. A certain subset of the population called kiss players can fuse with these new Transformers by kissing them, allowing them to temporarily control the robots from the inside. Things get super bizarre super quick, but that doesn’t really matter because plot obviously isn’t the point of these stories. Robots get swallowed, young girls lose their underwear, and the heroes travel through the Spiral Vagina to reach the Genital System, where the bad guys’ headquarters reside. It’s, uh, interesting stuff. Did I mention that the comics are a nonstop barrage of violence, death, and rape imagery? Well they are.

But hey, Transformers isn’t about comic books and plot-driven stories. It’s about toys! Let’s take a look at some Kiss Players toys.

Actually, let’s not.

Now don’t get me wrong, Transformers has a long history of unexpectedly adult content. The series has long been rife with graphic violence and intense horror. Kiss Players, however, is a whole different experience. It’s not just lurid and shocking, it’s… well I sincerely hope you can see the problem without me explaining it. But maybe you feel differently. Maybe you see something in this lolitastic series that I’m missing. Please drop a comment below to let me know your thoughts on Transformers: Kiss Players. And consider subscribing to my newsletter as well. You’ll get updates on the latest articles, new additions to my shop, and very, very little prepubescent-girl-based content.

But not none at all

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