Yesterday morning, a strange object washed up on the coast of Siberia, and one question has been on many people’s minds. What is this mysterious object or creature? The blob of unidentified material is covered in hair and weighs the same as an average human.

Fox News and several other news sources assumed it was a sea creature and covered it here. Yes, it is an unsecured connection. Are you surprised? It’s Fox News.

Speculation has been flying around the internet as to the identity of the hairy blob, but instead of speculating, we contacted Russian marine biologist, Sergei Kornev. He is now President Donald Trump’s least favorite Russian for cooperating with us.

According to Kornev, they sent samples of the material to a lab for further testing. The results arrived earlier today, and nobody could have guessed the identity of the blob. The biologist stated, “During our tests, we found the hair was synthetic, manufactured from the tears of minority groups wronged by the Trump Administration. This is how we were able to pinpoint the identity of the material. It’s Donald Trump’s wig.”