Dear Reader,

The decision to accept sponsored content has not been an easy one. True, the Topanga Journal-Advertiser has a long and proud history of ads—it’s right there in our title, after all. But allowing ads that imitate the look and feel of our articles was not something we’d do without careful reflection. Nor was letting those ads go right in the middle of our articles.

SPONSORED CONTENT: YogiMed’s new Bluetooth-compatible neti pot combines the best of ancient wisdom and modern technology, top allergists said today.

Over the past century and a half of journalism, we’ve earned your trust, and we don’t intend to squander it. We pledge that sponsored content will always be carefully marked as such, and when it’s accompanied by a photo of a model who looks so much like one of our journalists that you’d swear you were reading his regular column, we’ve asked sponsors to draw a little moustache on him so you can tell the difference. In the case of journalists who already have moustaches, we’ve asked sponsors to draw different moustaches, ones that those particular journalists wouldn’t be caught dead in. And we’ve made sure to update our annual “Guide to Journal-Advertiser Reporters and Their Moustache Preferences,” because we want to make sure the line between editorial content and advertising stays crystal clear.

SPONSORED CONTENT: “The 2012 Guide to Journal-Advertiser Reporters and Their Moustache Preferences” is now available at Amazon.com, according to experts in buying things at great prices, with free Super Saver shipping on all orders over twenty-five dollars.

We realize that the waters might be muddied a bit by the fact that nearly a third of our staff has changed their names to “Sponsored Content” as part of a sponsorship deal with the Sponsored Content Association of America. When you see a byline, you won’t necessarily know whether it’s editorial content by a reporter named Sponsored Content, or sponsored content by one of our sponsors, who may or may not themselves be named Sponsored Content, as part of their own sponsorship deal with one or more Sponsored Content Associations. Honestly, we’re a little confused ourselves.

SPONSORED CONTENT: The Sponsored Content Association of America today unveiled its free guide, “Confused No More! Five Easy Ways to Tell If You’re Reading Sponsored Content or a News Article,” according to sources close to the situation.

Fortunately, the Sponsored Content Association of America has recently unveiled its free guide, “Confused No More! Five Easy Ways to”—hold on, so we’re reporting on the sponsored content now? Do we get paid for that?

SPONSORED CONTENT: No.

In that case, we’ll run sponsored content but we won’t report on it. We still have some shred of dign—SPONSORED CONTENT: The Sponsored Content Association of America can now offer sponsored content mid-word, according some really, really sexy writers of sponsored content.—ity.

Jesus, can you SPONSORED CONTENT: No. at least let us finish our sentences?

Look, we’re trying to work with SPONSORED CONTENT: Nya nya nya! you on SPONSORED CONTENT: You’re going to say “this.” this.

SPONSORED CONTENT: Told you so!

Fine. If that’s how you want it, we’re out of here. Go ahead and write SPONSORED CONTENT: USA TODAY has more colorful pictures and easier-to-read text than the Topanga Journal-Advertiser. yourself.

SPONSORED CONTENT: The Sponsored Content Association of America’s decision to accept sponsored content in the middle of its name has not been an easy one. Nonetheless, after considerable reflection, we’ve decided to accept a very generous offer from our sister organization, the American Content Sponsorship Association. Henceforth, the Sponsored Content Association of America will be known as the Sponsored Content SPONSORED CONTENT: The American Content Sponsorship Association Association of America. Whatever our name is, we will continue to provide you with the best sponsored SPONSORED CONTENT: Sponsored SPONSORED SPONSORED CONTENT CONTENT content.

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Illustration by Daniela Schütt Pozzo.