THE CUCKOLD CREAMPIE PHENOMENON: Three Analytic Frameworks For Jerking Off Alone

A cuckold creampie cums in many forms. Awhile back I stumbled across an article which pseudo-theorized that cuckolding is “the intellectual fetish.” I have a feeling the author was a cuckold fetishist. So, in keeping with the navel gaze-y cuckold masturbation theme: let’s get literary!

“CHICKEN OR THE EGG”

Which came first? Was it the cuckold creampie you were “surprised” to lap out of your wife’s freshly fucked pussy? Or was slurping sloppy seconds brought on by your doomed destined-ness to never really satisfy a woman? Either way, she couldn’t get any satisfaction and now you’re on permanent clean up duty.

“CATCH 22”

You taste another man’s load inside your wife’s cunt. What are you going to do? Confront her about it right then? You’re too busy enjoying that salty, creamy-ness to pipe up now. And you are enjoying it. It’s better if you don’t say anything now, but you can always say something later, right? Wrong. Maybe your wife would actually let you fuck her if you acted like a real man. But real men don’t eat cuckold creampies . . . and you do.

“BOOTSTRAP PARADOX”

How did your wife’s pussy get so full of cum? The secret masturbation fantasy/prayer you’d only spoken aloud to phone sex operators seems to have been heard. And oh boy, is it tasty. Did it matter that you wished for it? Would it have happened anyway? Did your internal imperative to desire being cuckolded spring from some perverted reservoir you will now draw from to cope with your situation?

Trying to think through paradoxes like these on your own is hard. It’s impossible for you, especially if you’re still pretending it’s “forced bi.” And your cock is too hard for you to think, anyway. Femdom phonesex is your only option once you’ve tasted that forbidden cuckold creampie fruit!

— A I L E E N

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