West Bottoms.

Home to spooky haunted houses, a shattered visage of the KC Blades and, as of 2010 apparently, crazy good fried chicken brunches.

I’m talking Genessee Royale. And it’s rad.

So what is it? It’s a place.

A hidden place.

A wonderful place.

A place that I wasn’t really cool enough to have known existed. I’m behind the times.

And finally, a place that you can get an amazing brunch.

Here’s what you can expect.

You’ll drive down to the West Bottoms. Think to yourself how cool that one bridge is. You know, the one where your artsy friend took that one Instagram photo? Yeah. That one. Then you’ll start to wonder why it hasn’t exploded in popularity. Super close to the city. Practically abandoned. Then you Google search it and see it completely submerged in water. Your dreams of a writing den are killed in a mental maelstrom of flood insurance premiums.

You’ll enter the Stockyard district. Find parking easily because, abandoned part of the city, and start thinking that you’ve totally discovered something cool. You’re the first. You’re finally ahead of all those hip Art Directors you work with that have those tastefully minimalist line art tattoos of the lemniscate. Go ahead. Google that word. I used that instead of “Infinity Symbol” to feel slightly smarter than I am.

Then you realize that there are about 80 people that got here before you. You’re not cool. You didn’t discover shit. And frankly, your Father is probably a little disappointed in you as a human.

Then you’ll see this sign. Yes, that’s me giving you all a thumbs up because, contrary to what I literally just wrote, I like most of you and wanted to let you know that you’re doing a great job today at reading.

Ok. We’re here. Looking around you see some things you’d expect from a hip place.

Such as quirky wall art.

And (in my opinion) super amazing, really cool bar tops. Not sure if it was copper of brass. I’m not a miner. I mean, I tried to mine Bitcoin a few years back, but the only metal I know is Metallica – Ride the Lighting.

You’ll probably order coffee because you had a wedding the night before and you committed war crimes against your liver. All so that you could try to do the running man to one-up the small child that was destroying you on the dance floor all night. Or, whatever. I don’t know your life.

Then you’ll order food.

Such as the Soft Scramble.

Yes. That is andouille sausage with chicken, eggs and peppers. Yes, you do want it.

You need it.

Or perhaps you’ll go with the chicken and biscuit meal.

Don’t let the shit photo fool you. This was serious business. You’ll first notice that the fries are weirdly good. Like, they have no business being as good as they are. The chicken is fantastic and is served with a sweet tabasco honey sauce that will blow you away. There’s also a side salad that you won’t eat.

The food was priced high but it was appropriate for the taste. The starters were priced WAY too high, though. That is my only real issue with this place. They need more starter options on the lower price end.

After you’re done eating?

You’ll sit there and look at all the people.

You’ll start to wonder what their lives are like. And you’ll begin to realize that every single one of them leads a life as crazy as yours.

A story told over an epic scale. And you’ll never know even a fraction of it save this one fleeting moment of thought. Then you’ll feel tangled in the immensity of the world and it’s impossible connections of then, now and later.

But then you realize that you just bought Blizzards new game Overwatch and instantly forget about them.

You’ve got Bastions to murder as your life passes before you one play of the game at a time…

How were the bathrooms?

Decent. Slightly muggy.

KATIE:

Value: 8/10 Expensive, but worth it.

Environment: 8/10

Taste: 10/10

RYAN:

Value: 7/10

Environment: 7.5/10

Taste: 9/10

Bathroom: 6.5/10

Verdict? Go there.

1531 Genessee St, Kansas City, MO 64102

Monday Closed

Tuesday 8AM–4PM

Wednesday 8AM–4PM

Thursday 8AM–4PM

Friday 8AM–8PM

Saturday 8AM–4PM

Sunday 9AM–2PM