Let The Mill take you on a journey back in time. It’s August, 2015. David Cameron has yet to announce the Brexit referendum that will definitely be a good idea. Donald Trump’s hopes of becoming the next president of the United States are rated as likely as Leicester winning the Premier League title. And José Mourinho is the undisputed king of English football. Oh, what memories.

But then it all went wrong, didn’t it? Cameron retired to his shed, Trump took over the world and Mourinho lost his rag with the club doctor, moved to a hotel in Manchester and now spends his time in the shadow of some bald bloke from Barcelona. There’s no need to panic, though, because good old José has a cunning plan.

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“Remember that lad Eden you had at Chelsea?” someone may have said to him as he sat through Manchester City’s latest evisceration of one of their title “rivals” on Saturday. “He was quite good.” And that was that. According to the Sun, Mourinho is now planning a new British record £90m move for Chelsea star Eden Hazard because he sees him as “the missing piece in his Old Trafford jigsaw” and believes he can beat Real Madrid and Paris Saint-Germain to the brilliant Belgian playmaker. Boom!

There may be one snag, however, as the article notes with caution in the 13th paragraph. “And, while he is understood to be one of the players Mourinho had a strained relationship with when he was axed months after lifting that title, the Special One is ready to raid his old club.” That’s right – if you remember, this is the guy who went from being the best in the league to being an unused substitute in Mourinho’s last game in charge of Chelsea.

Yet, as The Mill has said before many times, stranger things have happened. Hazard, it seems, has already rejected Chelsea’s offer of a new contract worth £300,000 a week and is interested in leaving Stamford Bridge. All José needs to do now is say sorry and they can all be friends, just like he did with Romelu Lukaku. What could go wrong?

Just in case it does, the Mirror reports Atlético Madrid are dangling a carrot that looks like Antoine Griezmann in Manchester United’s direction in the hope of keeping him out of the clutches of naughty Barcelona, who they have reported to Fifa for an illegal approach to the Frenchman’s entourage. Liverpool fans may be wondering why their club didn’t take the same approach during the Philippe Coutinho saga in the summer, even if the Brazilian could now be destined to stay at Anfield for the foreseeable should Griezmann end up joining Barça.

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Talking of Liverpool, Jürgen Klopp is prepared to allow teenage sensation Ben Woodburn to go out on loan next month, with his most likely destination being the Championship. Good luck to him. It also looks like being a busy month across Stanley Park as Sam Allardyce gets himself warm in the Everton hotseat with Theo Walcott and Steven N’Zonzi on his Christmas list. N’Zonzi, of course, used to play for Stoke and they could do with some decent players. But we’re told Mark Hughes will have some cash to burn in the January sales and retains the full support of his board. Stephen Ireland is already on board having been offered a new contract despite not having played in the Premier League since May 2016. Who’s next

Having scored only 14 goals so far, Brighton are weighing up a new bid for Cape Verde striker Zé Luís from Spartak Moscow and also have their eye on Celtic’s Moussa Dembélé. And not content with his firepower as Aston Villa attempt to return to the big time, Steve Bruce wants Premier League outcasts Nahki Wells of Burnley or Leicester’s Leonardo Ulloa.