It’s not easy being gay, especially when you’re single. Jumping into the dating world is like falling into the ocean. Can you sink or swim?

Let’s discuss gay politics first of all. No, I’m not talking about legalising marriage for same sex couples or equality, I’m talking about more informal politics. Bedroom politics.

One of the most challenging aspects of dating is trying to determine if he (whoever you are interested in) prefers to sleep on the top bunk or the bottom bunk, or even whether they like to switch, during sleepovers. This crucial factor could make or break whatever potential future you may have with him. Sure you could just ask, but is bringing up sex so soon not setting the agenda for the whole (I say it again, potential) relationship? Which in that case is bad, especially if you want something to blossom from it.

Believe me, you can’t always tell which bunk a guy prefers to sleep in by looking at them, no matter how much we use our society-learned skills of identifying stereotypes to find out.

Mainly outside of the bedroom however, we’ll often strive to find that “perfect” person who we have in our head (and want in our beds), the person that is everything we want in a human being both physically and mentally, perhaps this is our human instinct talking, the one that values symmetry and the hunt for perfection. But what we need to know is that nobody is perfect and this is extremely relevant to both straight and gay men and women, it’s one of the many things we all have in common. I believe it is this exact problem that causes issues when dating.

I’ve always lived by the motto “never settle for anything less than what you want” which in many respects is true, but when it comes to finding love, think about whether what you want really is what you want, or if it’s your human instincts telling you to find the “perfect person” who doesn’t exist. In which case, you could probably end up completely alone in your quest for the ideal.

Compromise is not a bad thing.