Just because you’re a little slower in moving, people think you’re a little slower upstairs too. And that’s not really the case for most of us. Marcia Copeland, resident at Trillium Woods Retirement Community

Before speaking to someone, do you ever stop to reflect on your tone, style, pitch, and choice of words?

Usually not. If you’re speaking to a friend, colleague, or any typical adult, you’d simply talk in a comfortable and respectful manner.

But have you ever noticed a shift in your manner of speech when talking to elderly people? Perhaps even before making an acquaintance, you intentionally talk louder and slower and use much simpler language than usual. You also may use endearing nicknames and collective pronouns.

You might say,

“It’s time for your medication, honey.”

“It’s time for us to go to the bathroom.”

“Somebody put on grumpy pants today.”

That’s elderspeak.

Now, imagine if someone used elderspeak on you.

That’s right, you’d feel resentful. You’d cringe and say to yourself, “who the heck does this person think she is?”—and justifiably so. You will not be disrespected. You will not be spoken to—like a baby. Indeed, there isn’t much paralinguistic difference between baby-talk and elderspeak, and it’s abysmally infantilizing (Caporael, 1981).

Despite your efforts to accommodate them, elderly people often experience elderspeak the same way. Indeed, it’s often perceived to be infantilizing, presumptuous and patronizing. It also reinforces stereotypical thinking about old people, which may hinder their social and psychological wellbeing.

Exaggerated prosody, slower speech, and simple sentences convey the impression that elderly interlocutors are spoken to as if they’re cognitively impaired or verbally inept—even if they’re not. This is especially irritating for healthy, community-dwelling older adults.

Although institutionalized older adults may grow accustomed to the elderspeak of care providers, it nevertheless fosters dependency, hinders communication and verbal competency, and lowers self-esteem (Balsis & Carpenter, 2005). Elderspeak also contributes to care resistiveness in dementia patients and limits their exposure to the rich vocabulary and syntactical complexity needed to slow declines in verbal processing (Williams, Herman, Gajweski, & Wilson, 2009).

Elderspeak not only negatively impacts the elderly but also younger interlocutors as well. They may come across as disrespectful, insensitive, unprofessional, and even unintelligent (Balsis & Carpenter, 2005). Hardly perceptions foster mutual respect and a heath social atmosphere!

To be sure, there are exceptions to the use of elderspeak. If the person you’re communicating with hard of hearing or diagnosed with late-stage dementia, then your speaking should accommodate them. Yet, for the most part, it’s best to avoid elderspeak and spare yourself and your elderly interlocutor the embarrassment.

To avoid elderspeak, consider the following strategies:

First, cultivate empathy. This means being reflective and imaginative enough to put yourself in the shoes of another person. Although this strategy sounds trite, it’s by no means easy. In fact, empathy is not a maternal intuition that some people have while others don’t, nor is it the welling forth of shared emotion. Rather, it’s an interpersonal skill that takes years to develop. For more instruction on empathy, click here.

Second, celebrate your elderly interlocutor’s strengths. This could be something as simple as, “you look dashing in that suit” or “I learn a lot from our conversations.” These sorts of comments are respectfully endearing, and they may instill a sense of generativity—finding meaning by sharing wisdom with younger people.

Third, use vocabulary and grammar that your elderly interlocuter is familiar with. Doing so may not only prevent elderspeak but also foster a shared sense of empathy and understanding. Language is the tool people use to make sense of their emotions and the world around them. Using the language of another person enables you to participate in his or her world. For an example of what this might look like, click here.

Fourth, if you’re elderly interlocutor is experiencing cognitive decline, expose him or her to rich and complex language. You can do with poetry, the language of religious ritual, the news, and social-political debates. Doing so may stimulate the brain and slow the progression of the disease.

Have you ever been on the receiving end of elderspeak? Have you ever been rebuffed for using elderspeak? If so, comment below! We’d love to hear from you.

References

Balsis, S. & Carpenter, B. D. (2005). Evaluations of elderspeak in a caregiving context. Clinical Gerontologist, 29(1), 79-96.

Caporael, L. R. (1981). The Paralanguage of Caregiving: Baby Talk to the Institutionalized Aged. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology,40(5), 876-884.

Williams, K. N., Herman, R., Gajweski, B., & Wilson, K. (2009). Elderspeak communication: Impact on dementia care. American Journal of Alzheimers Disorder and Other Dementias, 24(1), 11-20. doi:10.1177/1533317508318472.