Today’s word of the day is, “predator”. It truly amazes me that in today’s society so many people take that word for granted. How often to you see an Amber Alert? How many stories are on the news about missing and exploited children? How many children are never found? And you want to give a predator free information? Shame on you! Protect yourselves and your children. Don’t fall into the gimmick of, “These are sooo cute! The family down the road has one, I bet I can find a cooler one! OMG, I have to have one with a margarita glass. Did you see the one with zombies? I’m totally getting that one!”

Meet The Single Mom:

This mom may or may not really be single. But for whatever reason dad didn’t get an appearance in the family portrait. So if this mom is shopping alone, with her three children, one might get the impression that she’s single. They might assume there is no dad at home. I’m no expert of what is considered high risk, but why volunteer the info that there’s not a big burly man at home to protect the family? Especially young children. Notice the absences of a dog? When every other family on the block has a dog sticker on their car one might assume this Mom also doesn’t have a guard dog. I’d say this Mom needs to take down her bumper sticker.

Meet The Drunk Single Mom:



This mom is worse than the single mom before. This mom is an alcoholic! Nothing says I’m going to be passed out drunk when you break in to my home like a martini glass. She could have at least put up a more menacing dog! I bet she thought she was one upping the last single mom by throwing a dog on there. At least we know little Johnny can swing a bat. Maybe the predator will only strike when Johnny is at baseball practice. This mom needs to put down the glass and start thinking about the safety of her family.

Meet The Widow:

My condolences go out to this mom and her family. It must be hard losing your husband and father. But why do you feel the need to tell the world on the back of your car? I can’t tell if this mom is pregnant or a little chubby. She has what appears to be grown kids, possibly grand-kids Maybe she’s a grandma? If I’m a predator I’m examining the woman driving to get a better look. If it turns out she’s a widow and elderly then she just got bummed up to an easy target on my list. Sorry grandma you just may be next to get your halo. Please for the sake of your grandchildren take off your sticker. They don’t need another loss.

Meet The Crazy Cat Lady:

As if being single wasn’t bad enough this woman just declared herself the crazy cat lady. Six cats and how many on the way? You lucky woman! I’m sure the predator will leave the cats and go straight for you. Perhaps she thought there was strength in numbers? I’m sure having six cats to protect her was safer than one but unless these are ocelots I think she better take this bumper sticker down. Not only will she save her reputation but also her life.

Meet Mr and Mrs Richie Rich:

Nothing tells me that you got what I want like a bag of money. There may be a man of the house but with bags like that I won’t let a silly thing like your husband get in my way! You might as well leave your front door unlocked and your money sitting out on the table. While you’re at it go ahead and leave your debit cards with the pin numbers written on the back. If you’re feeling really generous a signed check made out to cash will do as well. The easier you make it for me the less damage I will do searching your home for money bags. I suggest this family just leave this one up, in this economy survival of the fittest may be best. Good luck Mr. Predator. I kid. But seriously Mr and Mrs Richie Rich, “Come on man!”. Take it off. If you ever have kids make sure you teach them a thing or two about humility while you are teaching them about safety.

Meet The Firm Believers In The 2nd Amendment Family:

‘Nuff said! If you absolutely can’t resist temptation and like OMG have to have one of these ridiculous bumper stickers. I suggest this one. If your feeling extra ballsy hang a rebel flag next to it. That should keep you safe! Well, aside from the ensuing race crimes that would erupt because you are a gun toting redneck. But seriously, you are less likely to get profiled by a predator with this bumper sticker.

To play it safe just don’t put these bumper stickers on your car. I’m actually not a fan of bumper stickers at all but these really make me shake my head. Please don’t be naive. Now that you have read this blog you can no longer claim ignorance to this trend. I’m sure there’s only a small risk that your family will actually be selected by a predator because of this sticker. It may never even happen. But why would you want to give out information to strangers? There’s no point in it so you might as well protect yourself. Being a part of fad is not worth the risk.

I apologize to all the families I’ve offended in this blog post. If you are one of these families in the stickers above know that I mean you no harm. It’s just that when you are sitting in front of me at a red light I want to pull my hair out! I couldn’t take the silence any longer, I had to do something to stop this epidemic. Forgive me maybe?