Hi-ho, Kermit! In Muppets Most Wanted, you get mistaken for your evil doppelganger. How did you cast him?

It's not easy finding short green actors in Hollywood. There's me, Yoda and … that's about it. I couldn't really play Constantine (1) because we have scenes together and I don't work on green screen. We got lucky. Constantine, who is actually an evil criminal and looks like me, walked in the door. He's a distant Russian relative.

We've met your nephew Robin. Are there any other members of the family vying for stardom: Eric the tadpole, Freddy the frogspawn … ?

Wow! You know Eric and Freddy? That's great! I heard they were touring. I hope the Guardian gave them a good review. Gee, I've got over 3,000 siblings. Not many have gone into showbiz, but with all these talent shows on TV, it's just a matter of time.

As a short green actor, are you typecast? Could you play Yoda?

I could never play Yoda. My syntax is all wrong. Or should that be: "All wrong my syntax is?" Yoda is a good friend; that's his role. I was up for the Hulk in Marvel's The Avengers. I nailed the green parts, but I just wasn't believable as a human.

Ricky Gervais's mouth opens like a Muppet's when he laughs. Is this why he got the part?

I never noticed that about Ricky, but you're right, it may have been subliminal. Despite his reputation as a mischievous, tart-tongued fellow, he was absolutely great at playing a mischievous, tart-tongued fellow (2).

We don't have Muppets in the UK, but we do have anthropomorphic (3) meerkats, rats, gerbils, gophers and ducks, and a Plasticine dog (4). Did any of them audition?

Do you want a job as our casting agent? We've worked with dogs, gophers, ducks and rats, but very few meerkats, so I'm going to look into this further. Thanks!

Your UK premiere was on Tuesday. Is there a premiere in France, or are you worried they'll eat your legs?

Ever since Miss Piggy declared my legs belong to her and that anyone else who goes near them is toast, I haven't had a problem in France or anywhere else, except, of course, with Miss Piggy.

In Britain, a "muppet" is also a cockney term for an ignorant person, as popularised by actor/presenter Danny Dyer. In America, is an ignorant person a "Danny Dyer?"

I've heard the word "muppet" is sometimes used that way. I wonder if Danny Dyer is talking about us Muppets or some other muppets? Hmm, I'd like to meet him and ask.

When the Muppets were sold to Disney in 2011, were you worried you'd be replaced with Pixar computer versions of yourselves?

Miss Piggy was hoping for it. Apparently it's a lot easier to shed pounds when you're CGI. Who knew?

So, you and Piggy. How did you tell your parents you were attracted to mammals?

My folks are very open about inter-species relationships. I think the attraction started in the opposite direction, although I'm now very fond of the mammal in question.

When you're playing snooker, does it look like the balls are moving by magic because you camouflage into the table (5)?

Thanks for giving away my incredible snookering secret. Actually, playing snooker as a frog is easier than playing golf. You don't know how many times I've been mistaken for a divot.

Does the idea of toad in the hole excite or scare you?

Initially I was scared, but when I found out it wasn't one of my relatives stuck in a bog, I was fine. I sometimes order it myself … with a side of flies.

Which did you find more shocking: that meat dress Lady Gaga wore to the 2010 MTV VMAs, or that jacket made out of Kermits that she wore on German TV in 2009?

I loved Lady Gaga's jacket of Kermits. By the way, no actual frogs were hurt in that jacket; several of my cousins worked as her wardrobe during her world tour. It led to us working with Lady Gaga; she even cameos in Muppets Most Wanted. As for the meat dress, I'm not really qualified to talk about fashion. I mostly work naked.

Have you ever used a body double?

Working naked is something I've always done. In fact, I think pretty much everyone in the world starts out working naked. I have never used a body or stunt double. When you see me on the screen, it's all me, warts and all.

Footnotes

(1) The world's most dangerous frog; looks exactly like Kermit with a mole on his nose.

(2) Plays Dominic Badguy, pronounced badgey – "It's French".

(3) The attribution of human characteristics to non-human creatures.

(4) Aleksandr Orlov of Compare the Meerkat fame, Roland Rat and his sidekick Kevin the Gerbil, Gordon T Gopher, Edd the Duck and Gromit.

(5) Kermit was originally beige because he was made from Jim Henson's mum's coat.