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American workers typically work far more than in other countries, leading to increased calls for a four-day workweek, but this proposal has received a variety of criticism. The Onion breaks down the pros and cons of a four-day workweek.


PRO

More free time to spend money you aren’t earning.

Could cheer everyone up after latest round of layoffs.

Only have to see Jacob four times a week.

Extra day to work weekend job.

CON

Could negatively impact bosses’ ability to properly imprint on employees.

It’s not American.

Even harder to return to work after three days off.

Lifetime of ceaseless work leaves millions ill-equipped to explore genuine pleasures life has to offer.