Chile peppers are awesome.

How awesome? Well sit the fuck down and learn.



Capsaicin is the substance in chile peppers that gives them their spiciness.

The Scoville Scale was created to measure this spiciness, using Scoville Heat Units (SHU).



I'll explain how hot peppers are in terms of Dragonball Z power levels (PWR).





Bell Peppers 0 SHU

Farmer 5 PWR

These things have almost no kick worth mentioning. They are at the bottoms of their respective scale.





Pimento, Pepperoncini 100 - 900 SHU

Child Goku 100 PWR



Small kick. Might be a little too spicy for toddlers. But even the average person can handle them without a problem. They go on salads, subs, and stuffed inside green olives. The vinegar brine they're dipped in is often more overpowering than the tiny amount of spice they have.







Sriracha, Anaheim, Poblano 1,000 - 2,500 SHU

Radditz 1,500 PWR

These may look like jalapenos, but they're much weaker. Anaheim chiles are weaker decedents of the famous New Mexican green chiles. They're meaty and flavorful, but offer very low spice. Great for burritos and stews.





Tabasco sauce, Jalapeno, New Mexican Green 3,500 - 8,000 SHU

Nappa 7,000 PWR



This is about hot a lot of people (particularly in the US) can go before they start burning their mouths and assholes. People who can handle heat OVER 9,000 are starting to venture into chile lover territory.





Serrano 10,000 - 23,000 SHU

Goku using 3x Kaio-ken 24,000 PWR

These small, thin, crisp peppers are really fun to eat raw. Chili heads might not be able to feel any heat from these at all, but if you're new to the game, beware.







Cayenne, Tabasco 30,000 - 50,000 SHU

Zarbon, Freiza's top ranking General 23,000 - 55,000 PWR

10 times hotter than any Jalapeno you've ever had in your life.





Cayenne is used to make Louisiana Hot Sauce and almost all other mainstream red hot sauces, as well the crushed red pepper you often find at pizza restaurants.





BUT BE WARNED -- Do not falsely assume you can handle one of these fresh just because you use hot sauce or crushed pepper. Peppers are hottest when they are fresh and raw. Aging and diluting peppers in vinegar (as with hot sauce) or drying them out (as with crushed pepper) will greatly reduce their spiciness. Also, those crushed red pepper packets are often blended with weaker peppers including red bell pepper in order to further reduce the heat level.

Chile Pequin, Thai Chili 50,000 - 100,000 SHU

Jeice & Burter

95,000

PWR

I've seen people eat these tiny little berry-like chiles raw and then recoil in agony, calling them the "hottest thing" they have ever eaten. Don't be deceived by their size.



However, many chili heads can pop these like candy. This is what I call "medium heat". Dried crushed chile pequin flakes are PERFECT to dump into a boiling pot of water to make a spicy base for ramen.







Habanero 100,000 - 350,000 SHU

Captain Ginyu

160,000

PWR





These suckers have a LOT of range in terms of heat.

A mild habanero might only give a slight burn you can easily walk away from, a potent specimen can FUCK YOUR SHIT IN and have you chugging milk over the sink.

Even if you're a chile head, you should be careful around these. Keep away from ALL children.

I love to eat these fresh and raw, because they have a sweet fruity flavor. If you mix a couple of these into a salsa, they should pose little threat.





Red Savina Habanero 350,000 - 580,000 SHU

Freiza

first form fully powered

530,000

PWR



Congratulations! You just ate a fresh, raw Red Savina! Are you a chilehead?

No? Oh fuck, son. I hope you have a full gallon of milk nearby, a tub of ice cream, and a clean bathroom, because you're going to be spending the next 30 minutes to an hour exploding from both ends of your body. Just make sure not to touch your eyes or you'll be extra fucked.

Yes? These are the beginning of the "Ultra Hots" category . Even being a chile head may not be enough to save you.







Infinity Chili, Ghost Pepper 1,000,000 SHU

Freiza

third form

1,100,000

PWR



OVER 1 MILLION SCOVILLE HEAT UNITS!







Until a couple years ago, these varieties were both in the The Guinness Book of World Records for being the world's hottest chilis.



If you are not a chili head, do not let anyone trick you into even looking at this motherfucking demon seed. If you are a chili head, you'll obviously want to try this, but you're gonna be hurting.

Ghost pepper salsa is delicious and is the perfect heat for a salsa.

Watch some people try it out!



Whiny frat bro





Hilarious black dude





Two chicks









Trinidad Moruga Scorpion 2,009,231 SHU

Freiza

final form

2,000,000

PWR



Currently ranked as the world's hottest pepper. This has the same amount of heat that law enforcement grade pepper spray uses to disable criminals, and bear spray uses to stop giant wild murderous beasts in their tracks.





This chile will most likely destroy you no matter who you are, with very rare exception. It'll make people around you cry when your hot breath hits their eyes. Your own breath will feel like a hot blow drier going into your throat and lungs. Your saliva will feel like a thousand stabbing needles made of lava. You may be convinced someone is raising with the thermostat, even if you're by yourself. You will enter a forced state of painful meditation where you are basically trying to keep your sanity under the extreme pain. You will probably feel like you're going to die. You may end up calling an ambulance. God speed, dumbass. You can buy a bag of Trinidad Moruga Scorpions here and see if I'm lying.









Pure Capsaicin crystals 16,000,000 SHU

Super Saiyan Trunks

15,000,000

PWR



16 Million SHU! This is as hot as capsaicin based spiciness can get, because this is the pure form of the chemical. Pure capsaicin crystals extracted from chiles is now illegal to sell in some places. It is very dangerous. Unless you are a trained professional, keep away from this shit. Even then, you probably want to keep away from this shit. Though that doesn't stop some people...



DON'T EVER DO THIS. THIS CAN KILL YOU.







X 11



Resiniferatoxin 16,000,000,000 SHU

Super Saiyan 4 Gogeta

1,500,000,000

PWR

16 Billion Motherfucking SHU. This shit is beyond dangerous. Hell, there's not even Dragon Ball equivalent for it in the same order of magnitude. If you combined the power levels of every hero and villain in the Dragon Ball Universe, that still wouldn't be enough power to explain how spicy this stuff is.It's a naturally occurring capsaicin analog that is 1,000 times more potent than pure capsaicin.This shit is so spicy that even microscopic amounts of it will instantly and completely stop your ability to feel anything ever again in the area it contacts. In extreme cases, doctors can inject very dilute concentrations into damaged nerve tissue to stop pain (and feeling) forever in the injection site.



Source for DBZ power levels

Source for SHU





Edited by Greg Giraffin - 01/02/2014 at 18:35