Any time a disparate system of power is equalised, one side must surrender some privileges - that may upset men's rights activists, but it certainly doesn't mean feminism is subjugating men, writes Clementine Ford.

In a couple of weeks, an 'International Conference on Men's Issues' will be held in Detroit, Michigan. In an ideal world, such a thing would be an opportunity to discuss how dominant ideas of masculinity translates to limited opportunities for boys and men to express themselves; it might broach the subject of rates of male incarceration and recidivism, and how socioeconomic factors influence these things; it could look at how the reductive idea of male stoicism has a detrimental effect on mental health.

In the right hands, an international conference on men's issues has the potential to be both illuminating and life-changing.

Unfortunately, as it's being hosted by A Voice for Men - a motley crew who espouse hatred and fear of women - it promises to be about as useful to the advancement of men's issues as a condom made out of sticky tape. (Condoms are very important to the Men's Rights movement, because MRAs are convinced paternity fraud is a thing. They even have a "nationally recognised expert" speaking on the matter. You guys, it's not a thing.)

AVfM's founder, Paul Elam, is (worryingly) a former mental health service provider who has, among other egregious revelations, openly stated that if he ever sits on a jury of a rape trial, he'll vote to acquit on principle - even in the face of overwhelming evidence that the charges are true. This is because he believes America is overrun by a swathe of false rape accusations and that the legal system is "patently untrustworthy when it comes to the offense of rape". Not because only 3 per cent of those accused of rape will ever be convicted - no, because not only is a guilty vote "simply an enabling capitulation to systemic legal corruption" but also, "in this, the age of misandry, not one aspect of a rape case can be trusted ... the accuser cannot be trusted". Meanwhile, AVfM's managing editor, Dean Esmay, believes that "domestic violence is not a gendered issue" and that his oppression is real because some women make more money than him.

There's nothing wrong with taking an interest in men's issues, but the concept of 'men's rights' is less about equality between the sexes than it is about maintaining power and privilege over women. MRAs (or men's rights activists) don't focus their attention on the structural powers that reinforce rigid expressions of masculinity or advocate for a world in which men aren't unreasonably charged with the sole responsibility of being leaders, soldiers and providers. Instead, they've identified women as the source of an imaginary subjugation and emasculation that's been steadily stripping them of power ever since the suffragettes first chained themselves to railings in order to take their right to vote. And dammit, they're MAD!

Yes, Ben Folds said it best when he observed that, "Y'all don't know what it's like/Being male, middle class and white."

When you look at what constitutes 'female privilege' in the eyes of MRAs and MRAs-in-training, you see exactly how ignorant most of them are to real discrimination and fear. In the MRA handbook, female privilege is being able to speak to men without being considered predatory; it's being able to decide whether or not to continue with a pregnancy (as opposed to having a child forced on you so that a scheming bitch can rob you blind for the next 18 years); it's being able to have sex with a man and then later change your mind while accusing him of rape; it's having the right to leave a marriage because the courts will favour you in a custody dispute; it's receiving the 'coveted status' of being a rape survivor on a college campus and all the advantages that come with that.

With the exception of that last one, which is so despicably offensive that it's almost impossible to believe it was not only printed in the Washington Post but that it was written by a Pulitzer prize-winning journalist, all of these examples of 'female privilege' seem less indicative of a rising gynarchy poised to crush whimpering men with a gigantic, comfortably shod foot than they do just basic rights that women are entitled to have even though they prevent men from being able to behave exactly as they like.

Women don't come to life the moment men approach us, and asking that men respect our space and not assume their presence is always or even ever welcome isn't the equivalent of Stonewall. Similarly, until science can figure out how to make Ivan Reitman's terrifying vision of the dystopian universe presented in seminal 90s movie 'Junior' a reality, it is not 'female privilege' for a woman to have the final say over whether or not she grows a fetus inside her for nine months before birthing it and then raising it. And while we're at it, can we all agree that it's a curious bit of cognitive dissonance to argue about paying for children you don't want in one breath while ranting about how the legal system won't give them to you in the other?

The idea that the fight for gender equality has swung 'too far' to the other side is simply ludicrous. One woman is still killed every week in Australia by her partner or ex-partner. The WHO estimates that 30 per cent of women worldwide who have been in a sexual relationship have experienced some form of violence within that partnership. The two issues most integral to that of women's equality - that of reproductive autonomy and financial independence - are still not considered legally sacrosanct for the overwhelming majority of women in the world today.

And we've got men (and some women) complaining that feminism is subjugating men?

I'll let you in on a little secret. The Feminist Mafia is trying to erode men's rights, and we've had some success over the years. Like the right for a man to legally rape his wife. Destroyed that. Or the right of men to determine who rises to political leadership. We nailed that one too. Or how about the right that said women became the physical property of their husbands, husbands who then had the right to commit these women to mental asylums (and frequently did) as a means of securing a divorce, leaving him free to marry another (often younger) woman? Yep, got rid of that.

Peggy Orenstein's 1994 text 'Schoolgirls' included an anecdote which observed that, for many men and boys, equality is perceived as a loss. And it technically is, because any time a disparate system of power is equalised, one side must surrender some privileges. Referring to 'female privilege' (particularly in a world where, in some places, it is considered a privilege that girls even be allowed to live) as some kind of nefarious threat to the psychic wellbeing of men isn't just offensive, it's also dangerous. It provides a focal point of blame for the frustrations of men who feel they've somehow been denied all that was promised to them, and it can have terrifying and often violent ramifications for the women in their lives.

Rather than recognise that the true source of their misplaced rage is a patriarchal hierarchy which assigns certain rewards such as money, social status and supposed access to women onto particular kinds of men, they have chosen instead to blame women for refusing to treat them with the reverence they feel they deserve. Or, to illustrate it more simply, if a bunch of rich white guys are living it up on top of Mount Privilege, these MRAs don't clasp the hands of the women around them and ask, "Well, why aren't we all up there sharing in the wealth?" They think, "Why the fuck am I stuck down here with all the girls?"

The men who frequent A Voice For Men and similar MRA communities are not interested in equality between humans as they claim. Their agenda is not to restore 'human rights' for all but to re-establish the dominance that has historically been enjoyed by men both legally and socially. Spend a fraction of time on their forums and you'll see the ferocity with which they despise and ridicule women. MRAs might complain about women wielding their brazen power over them, but the speed with which they want to avoid being compared with them is telling.

And frankly, it's hard to take seriously anyone's argument that female privilege exists when those same people consider it less than a privilege to actually be one.

Clementine Ford is a freelance writer, broadcaster and public speaker based in Melbourne. Follow her on Twitter @clementine_ford. View her full profile here.