A new meme has swept across cyberspace in recent weeks. Called the Coomer, it depicts a balding social reject with bloodshot eyes and a massively outsized right arm. This essay explains how the Coomer meme came to prominence, and what it means.

Ever more frequently, we are hearing reports of people being alarmed about Internet pornography. Politicians all around the world are suggesting measures to combat this supposed new scourge, one that is apparently especially dangerous for young people. The image portrayed is one of miserable degenerates, as hopelessly addicted to jerking off as other men are to heroin.

Enter the Coomer.

The Coomer is a figure of mockery. He has completely lost control of himself. His eyes are baggy, reflecting the fact he was up all night jerking it. The Coomer no longer has any interest in social relations or the political environment in which he moves. All he lives for is to bust another nut. Consequently, he represents a wretched figure, almost vampire-like in his detachment from the outside world.

The Coomer meme is actually based on solid scientific grounds. Not only is it entirely possible to get addicted to masturbation, but it’s also possible to overstimulate yourself to the point where everything else has less impact. This creates a kind of amotivational syndrome where nothing is stimulating enough to motivate action – except for more porn (and more extreme porn). It’s very similar to the amotivational syndromes that can arise from excessive stimulation from anything.

Those promoting the Coomer meme are the usual trolls and windup merchants, but there’s a strong sense of what Rick Giles would call Dignity Culture among them. It might sound astonishing to some, but the ease and openness of modern sexual relations have led many to become bored (or even disgusted) with the idea of casual sex, and many of these people have then become celibate.

A common experience among men who become celibate, especially if they had previously had intense engagement with women, is that it feels much like giving up any other drug addiction. Withdrawal eventually gives way to an exhilarating sense of freedom. After all, much of the pleasure of making love comes simply from oxytocin and dopamine release, and experiences as intense as orgasm can easily lead to psychological dependence.

On the surface level, then, the Coomer meme serves as a light-hearted warning about the pitfalls of excessive porn consumption. On a deeper level, the Coomer meme is a satirical jibe at the materialism and hedonism of our age. In a world where God is still dead, finding a higher meaning is impossible. Therefore, there is no motivation to strive. Following one’s basest instincts towards the crudest pleasures is the order of the day.

Many young people have become aware that the problems of previous generations have been caused, to a major extent, by a lack of spirituality. The capitalist system that has wrecked communities and environments all over the world has been powered by an acquisitiveness that itself is fuelled by spiritual ignorance. Poking fun at the Coomer is a way that this awareness manifests.

The Coomer is an archetypal figure that warns against the consequences of sex addiction and genital worship. Much like Tolkien’s Gollum, whose obsession with the One Ring reduced him to a wraith-like figure, the Coomer is a pitiful creature. Invoking him serves to ward off addictions to pornography and the slack-jawed sedation that comes from oxytocin overload, a phenomenon known as “cumbrain”.

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