Ah, falling in love! Such a special, happy time.

Until it's not.

Dating can be a minefield, with information bombs dropping at every candle-lit corner.

And learning about your new love interest's relationship with money can be a bombshell, especially if they're carrying a tonne of debt.

Imagine: you're quietly splitting a dessert when they announce they can't pay their share of the bill because a credit card payment is overdue. Like, really overdue.

Aussies are in record levels of debt — totalling $2.5 trillion, one of the highest rates in the world. While mortgages make up most of it, credit cards account for $33 billion.

So, where to go from here? Finance and relationship experts share what you can do if you're smitten with someone in debt.

Get to the bottom of it

Melissa Browne, author of Unf*ck your Finances, says the first step is to find out how the person you're dating got into debt in the first place.

"Was it a one-off or something they are prone to? Was it credit card debt rolled into more debt, or was it from an accident they had overseas when they were young and didn't realise they needed insurance?" Ms Browne says.

In summary: debt from studying is less of a problem than debt from gambling, for example.

Don't let your forever relationship be over because you weren't on the same page about money. ( Unsplash: Gabby Orcutt )

Ms Browne says being curious about how the person you're dating is managing their debt is another good place to start.

"If they weren't willing to talk about it, for me that would put up a red flag," she says.

When 31-year-old Rachel* met her ex-boyfriend 10 years ago, she quickly learned that he owed tens of thousands of dollars in personal loans.

"He was very honest about it. He didn't realise it was a big deal and brought it up very flippantly," she says.

When they moved in together, Rachel immediately felt responsible for their finances. She set up a budget and loan repayments to reduce the debt.

"It was difficult because he was used to living frivolously and had the mindset that paying the minimum on a loan was OK, and it didn't matter if you had the loan for 20-odd years."

Rachel says she later discovered her boyfriend had a gambling habit. Despite them both earning "decent wages", it meant they weren't reaching their financial goals.

"The debt absolutely became my problem because I was in control of the finances … He continued to bury his head in the sand.

"It all should've been a red flag for me, but I thought I was in love and was quick to put on my rose-coloured glasses."

Rachel says arguments about money did contribute to their eventual break-up, but it was a valuable life lesson.

Psychologist and couple therapist Sian Khuman says clearly understanding the extent of the debt will give you an indication of how it might impact the relationship.

"Debt isn't necessarily a bad thing either. It's about where it comes from and how it's being seen by that person."

Have the hard conversation for a happier future

Ms Khuman says finance is a common issue couples disagree on, which makes finding a way to talk about the debt vital.

It'll also set you up for better communication down the track.

Try to gently approach the subject with your partner. ( Unsplash: Christin Hume )

"Ask them in a really neutral, calm tone at a time when you are both sitting down and nothing else is going on," she says.

"Tell them you just want to make sense of it, understand it and get their thoughts on it."

Try not to be judgemental. Ms Khuman says it's likely the person feels ashamed and that could cause them to close off.

"Try coming at it again in that really caring, compassionate and understanding approach."

But if they are secretive around the debt, she says that "could be a red flag".

Protect yourself

Have regular chats with your partner to stay on the same page about money. ( Unsplash: Jenna Jacobs )

Ms Browne warns against putting your own financial security at risk for the sake of the other person's debt.

"You wouldn't want to personally guarantee the debt or be put on a loan for the debt," she says.

"If it was credit card debt and your partner wanted a personal loan to clear it, don't attach your name to that either."

She recommends a monthly chat to touch base on how your partner is managing their debt.

"It's that accountability to make sure it's being handled and you're comfortable with that."

Ms Khuman says without a contract, when the relationship reaches de facto or marital status, both parties will become responsible for the debt.

Support your partner

Ms Browne and Ms Khuman both say there are ways to help your new partner clear their debt without becoming financially involved:

Be encouraging. If you are great with money, share those habits with your partner.

Be encouraging. If you are great with money, share those habits with your partner. Offer to be a gatekeeper. For example, look after a credit card to avoid temptation.

Offer to be a gatekeeper. For example, look after a credit card to avoid temptation. Don't criticise other purchases if the debt is being managed as agreed.

Don't criticise other purchases if the debt is being managed as agreed. Have a clear and defined time to talk about finance.

Watch out for STD: 'Sexually-transmitted debt'

The other kind of debt to be wary of is "sexually-transmitted debt", Ms Browne says.

"Things like me taking out a credit card because my partner has a bad credit rating, and despite the fact we both spent on it, I am having to pay it off," she says.

"Or the lease we both signed, but they have a poor credit history so I am chased for the money instead."

Unfortunately, there are also some cases where a partner might be plunging you into debt behind your back.

Melbourne's Simon* was left with toll fines totalling tens of thousands of dollars which were racked up by his ex-boyfriend.

His ex was using his car at his expense for reasons unknown to Simon.

"My partner was driving me to work in my car and supposed to be going to his, then picking me up in the afternoon. But he was hurriedly going to buy drugs every day — yes, my ex was a heroin addict for four years before I had any idea," he says.

"The first I heard about it was at a roadside breath test: 'No alcohol but come with me'," he says of the interaction with police.

Simon says it revealed a whole new side of his partner he didn't know about.

Despite going to court, the debt remains Simon's because the car was in his name. He is now paying it off in instalments.

*Names have been changed for privacy.