Ever since I dropped the post “Healthy porn for men – deconstructing dog-whistle concepts in k-pop“, about the deliberate pornographic subtext of certain types of female k-pop visual presentation, people have been asking me to follow up with a “healthy porn for women” post, and discuss how this subtext functions when the genders are reversed. Here it is!

Many readers may wonder why I’ve more or less ignored the male side of k-pop in my dog-whistle posts so far. Was it just that I didn’t want to write about hot guys because I’m an evil heterosexual male? Was it just because I’m a lazy caonima? No, the real reason is that when it comes to hidden sexual messages in male group videos, there’s honestly just less to write about for one simple reason – the male videos don’t tend to do so much hiding. The dog-whistle messages exist for female groups precisely because the type of overt displays of sexuality that are more commonplace with the male groups are forbidden for the girls and often clamped down upon. The companies running girl groups are trying to get the sexual content in under the radar, not because they enjoy being “secret” about it, but because overt displays of female sexuality generally aren’t permissible. Don’t believe me? Just take a look at the kinds of dances that are considered too hot for TV for men vs women.

In the music industry overall, women tend to be sexualised more than men, and there’s no doubt that this has been the case since forever across the vast majority of the music industry as a whole. However in Korean pop, the reverse is actually true – male sexualisation outstrips (literally and figuratively) female sexualisation by an extremely wide margin in all of k-pop. From music videos to live performances to appearances on TV and more, you don’t have to go far to find plenty of content like this:

However, is there another side? Does the “cute” concept exist for male groups too, and if it does, is it secretly just as sexual as the “sexy” bodice-ripping, abs-flashing concept? Kpopalypse says YES! Let’s explore some examples of “healthy porn for women”!

Monsta X’s “Newton” is a great “healthy porn for women” video example. It features the boys going on a nice camping trip. Do you know what teenagers and early 20-something guys actually do on camping trips? Well here’s a list of things that they definitely don’t do:

The don’t sing songs in the back of the van and wave their arms around gaily, while hugging each other and shit… at least not while sober.

They also don’t get all excited about oversized Jenga, and then fall all over each other while trying to make a Jenga tower or whatever the fuck they’re doing here… at least not while sober.

They definitely don’t make a barbeque and forget to bring the fucking alcohol, that’s for sure.

The video directors want you to believe that Monsta X’s beverage of choice when on the road is Lipton Iced Tea (who no doubt paid a nice sum for this promo).

And a campfire with no beer or soju bottles on the ground? In Korea? Not even any messy party food debris? You mean these boys are not just having good clean sober fun together but actually clean up after themselves, DURING the festivities? Get the fuck outta here. This scene is as far-fetched and based in pure science fiction as any Star Wars film.

This is porn for women, without a doubt. Monsta X’s “Newton” is completely analogous to how heterosexual porn portrays women, only showing the aspects of women that fit into male fantasy, and discarding anything that does not. “Newton” likewise shows an idealised version of men, not as they really are, but as how young fangirls would like them to be – clean clothes, clean fun, always smiling and with outgoing personalities, having a good time with their friends. Don’t worry girls, I’m sure they don’t get up to any naughty business while on tour – how could they? They’re too busy being the bestest of buddies. Just look at them! They’re staying healthy and saving themselves just for you. Really.

SHINee’s “Hello” is another fantastic example of “healthy porn for women”, which is to be expected from SHINee who are serious idols that with SM’s help have mastered the art of selling themselves to fangirls.

This guy is so busy singing just for you that he’s able to maintain direct eye contact with the camera (i.e you) and doesn’t even look once at the girl with huge tits walking by with the bicycle, even though she strolls right in front of his field of vision.

He’s still got time to take a few seconds out of his busy idol schedule to blow bubbles with children though, because he cares. Gosh, he’d make a great father to your child, wouldn’t he?

This other guy spends the entire video agonising over whether to knock on your door and deliver you flowers to show how much he loves you, or whether to just run away and hide. He’s so nervous about being rejected, this is really hard for him! Don’t be mean!

Of course in the end he bites the bullet and takes the plunge, because you’re worth it. If you’re a SHINee fan and you’ve ever wondered why you fell so hard for SHINee in the first place, it’s because the creators of porn are not stupid – they know what works.

I could provide more examples and this post could go forever, but it’s probably more fun for you to find your own, if you can – after all, k-pop fans tend to be a bit desensitised to the presentation of their favourite idols. However if you are having any doubts about really understanding what you are actually watching, try watching this stuff with people slightly older and who aren’t exposed to k-pop sitting right next to you. You don’t even need me to tell you what they’ll say, you already know. If you want a video to pick for such an exercise, try this one:

“Chewing Gum” is actually a pretty damn good song. It’s also fucking disturbing as shit to watch, the male equivalent of April’s “Dream Candy” for sure.

The guys are dressed deliberately as “young” as possible yet have huge amounts of makeup on their faces that’s generally reserved for adult idols.

The constant theme throughout of “misbehaviour at night in the dorms” is interesting (and disturbing) too. Sure, it’s just chewing gum, but I’m sure for some people it’s not too much of a stretch to imagine it’s something else…

Don’t get me wrong however. There seems to be a misinterpretation of my posts on this topic that somehow I hate “cute” concepts because of all this or whatever. Not the case! In fact for both men and women in k-pop I’d probably rather watch them be all “nice” and shit rather than pretend to be badass or whatever, which is just as unconvincing and even more cringey.

Seriously, if this is the alternative, bring on the cute. I’m all for it. Just be honest with yourself about what it is, that’s all I’m saying. I think that’s a fairly moderate position. Kpopalypse will return with more posts soon!