"All crap," he tells E! News of the speculation of what happened that night. "Believe nothing."

"I will never speak about any of this as long as I'm alive. You're all gonna have to keep towing the same redundant line, guessing wrong."

"By the way, two wars are in an endless state of sorrow. Egypt about burned to the ground, and all you people care about is my bullsh-t?"

Sheen says it's "pathetic" that the media cares about his personal life whether it involves porn stars or not.

"Shame, shame, shame," he says.

And just so we can compare, here's the official statement that issued by Sheen's rep after the Los Angeles Fire Department released the 911 call.

"I have a lot of work to do to be able to return the support I have received from so many people. I want to say thank you to my fellow castmembers, the crew of Two and a Half Men and everyone at CBS and Warner Bros., especially CBS CEO Les Moonves and Warner Bros. TV President Bruce Rosenblum for their concern and support."

"And to my fans, your good wishes have touched me very much. Like Errol Flynn, who had to put down his sword on occasion, I just want to say thank you."