Bernie Sanders Rails Against 'Greedy Rich People' From Third House

NORTH HERO, VT—Senator Bernie Sanders delivered a passionate monologue to a dozen lunch guests in the ornate living room of his summer vacation home on Lake Champlain Monday, railing against the evils of unbalanced capitalism, wealth accumulation, and the upper class, sources reported.

“We will never survive in this country while so few greedy rich people own so much!” he reportedly exclaimed inside the $600,000 lakeside home he and his wife recently added to their real estate portfolio, which already included homes in Burlington, VT and Washington, D.C. “How many cars, boats, and houses do these people need? Don’t they know there are people who have nothing? How can they even sleep at night?!”

Finishing caviar hors d’oeuvres and setting down his glass of Dom Pérignon, the United States Senator, who earned over $1 million dollars last year, including $858,750 in book royalties—firmly placing him in the top 1% of the nation—went on to passionately describe the dangers of the concentration of wealth in the hands of a few “gluttonous wealth-hoarders.”

“I will fight back against this corrupt system until the day I die!” he assured his guests, before soliciting donations from them and then retiring to work on his next lucrative book.

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. Get FREE Access *with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee