Dear minions,

Building an empire is no easy task for an evil overlord.

… the bigger you get, the more trolls start driving you crazy.

… the bigger you get, the more mistakes you make.

… the bigger you get, the more competitors you need to fend off.

How do you stay ahead of the competition? How do you stand tall in the face of defeat?

Let me tell you!

#1 – Evil Overlords Don’t Wear Pants.

Evil Overlords have big balls. Even the ladies. No pants can contain the massive balls of an evil overlord.

(Lesson: Be unique. Be confident.)

#2 – Evil Overlord Don’t Think Outside the Box.

Evil Overlords don’t think outside the box. They stand outside the box, put you in, close the lid, and call it a day.

(Lesson: Be creative. Always stay a step ahead.)

#3 – Evil Overlords Don’t Mow The Lawn.

Trolls are tiny, annoying, little creatures that normally live symbiotic relationships with the commenting systems of blogging platforms.

By allowing your lawn to grow into a grassland paradise, Earl will move-in and eat your trolls.

(Lesson: Ignore the trolls, your minions will take care of them.)

#4 – Evil Overlords Don’t Judge a Book by it’s Cover.

Sometimes the ugly duckling has the biggest balls. See #1.

(Lesson: Appreciate everybody. Underestimate nobody.)

#5 – Evil Overlords Don’t Push the Big Red Button.

Evil Overlords never panic. They never over-react. They never hit the self-destruct button.

Evil Overlords patiently wait for opportunities then make the most of them. Like a cat. Ready to pounce.

(Lesson: Don’t panic. Be patient. Take steps to reach your goals.)

#6 – Evil Overlords Don’t Have a Clue. For you.

Good luck trying to understand the inner-working of an overlords mind. You’ll never know what an evil overlord is truly up to.

If an evil overlord gives you a clue, it’s because they wanted to.

(Lesson: Be strategic. Always have a plan B. And C.)