“Why the hell are you reading that? Are you turning Nazi?”

Tom closed his book on his thumb, keeping his place. “I’m curious,” he said.

Gil scratched his head, forgetting about the pizza they were about to order. “You’re curious about Mein Kampf? Don’t you know the story? Hitler’s crazy, starts the biggest World War and genocide ever; we go over and kick his ass; he shoots himself in his bunker, the end. Or, did you know we won World War Two?”

“Yeah, I know, but, I want to know the roots.”

“The roots? Oh, you’re reading that like watching the newer Stars Wars. Find out how Anakin Skywalker turned into Darth Vader.”

“I just read Hitler came up with Star Wars.”

“Shut up. That’s not-”

“It’s true! A couple pages back he told a story of a poor farm boy who dreams of traveling new lands, fighting against the Empire, the Jews, and bringing peace and prosperity back to his people.”

“That’s not exactly Star Wars. That could be-”

“There’s storm troopers, a Millennium Falcon and even a wookie.”

“Shut up, let me see,” Gil yanked the book from Tom’s hands, “where?”

“It’s a couple pages back. It’s written in German, though, I don’t think you’ll understand.”

Gil looked up from the foreign words. “You’re reading in German?”

“It was written in German.”

“I didn’t realize your German was that good.”

“It’s what I grew up speaking.”

“Are you kidding or what about Star Wars? Is it really in there?”

“I’m not joking. Hitler writes a parable about a young farmer who goes off to fight the Empire after receiving a message from a beautiful woman who turns out to be his sister, and he eventually comes face to face with the Emperor, who is described as this evil hooked-nose Jew who’s got all the power because he’s got all the money, and Luke, the farm boy, throws him to his death, along with help from his father, who had originally been his enemy. See, it’s a parallel story to the German people coming together, finding the true enemy, and destroying it.”

Gil had to sit down. “Holy shit, Hitler wrote Star Wars. How can I be just finding this out now? Why doesn’t everyone know this?”

“Well, there are a few differences, and people thinking George Lucas is Jewish stops them from thinking he’d rip off Mein Kampf.”

“Is he Jewish?”

“Who cares?”

“Holy shit. I have to hate Star Wars,” Gil was in shock. He thought of growing up sleeping under Empire Strikes Back sheets, sleeping on the face of Yoda. It was just too much to take.

“You don’t have to hate anything. I don’t. I still like Star Wars. It’s still Star Wars, nothing changed.”

“I’m Jewish, I can’t like Star Wars.”

“You have to separate the art from the artist. Two totally separate realities.”

“Not when the art is written as anti-semitic propaganda!”

“George Lucas didn’t make Star Wars as anti-semitic propaganda, he made it to tell an awesome story. Hitler was a failed artist; he never would have made the special effects. His description of light-sabers was wooden swords.”

“You killed my favorite movie for me, man. I wish you’d never told me. If there’s anything in there about Hitler writing any Beatles songs, don’t tell me.”

“I’m just kidding, Hitler never wrote Star Wars.”

“Why would you- you son of a bitch! I could kill you.”

“I just wanted to see your reaction.”

“What did you expect? You tell me Hitler wrote Star Wars, I stop liking Star Wars, so what?”

“I wouldn’t.”

“You’re not Jewish.”

“That wouldn’t have anything to do with it.”

“It does when you’re Jewish.”

“What does religion have to do with art? If anything, religion has done its best to suppress art.”

“You don’t understand the kind of feelings a Jew has towards Hitler. It’s more visceral for us. More personal. You can’t go there.”

“Alright, I won’t. Forget it. What do you want on the pizza? Bacon and pepperoni?”

“Sounds good.”

“Aren’t you supposed to not eat pork?”

“I’m not so orthodox, I can eat what I want.”

“So, you just pick and choose what part of Judaism you want?”

“It’s my life and I know Hitler is bad and bacon is delicious. Stop judging me and order the pizza.”