Welcome to this week's edition of Shirtless News, hot abs galore off the press! I originally planned to report on the shirtlessness of The CW (like newbie The Tomorrow People, which has managed to include a shirtless scene in every single episode thus far -- sometimes even before the first commercial break). But the abs-iness of Arrow demands a headline all on its own. Journalistic integrity, y'all!

"Wait a minute. Hasn't somebody else already played the Green Arrow on The CW? Was that hypothetical question just a flimsy excuse to Google shirtless photos of Justin Hartley?" Yes. And YES.

Here he is, baking with a puppy. As he should be.

Anyway. This Arrow tells the story of a billionaire playboy with a tortured past who uses his considerable resources to become a crime-fightin' vigilante. So a reaaaally broad oversimplification would be to call him a green Batman* with more archery-based gadgets and less shirts. A lot less shirts.

*Comparing only this (Green) Arrow with Nolan trilogy Batman, I mean.

This is Best Abs (Stephen Amell as Oliver Queen/The Hood/The Artist Eventually Known as Green Arrow). Best Abs earned his moniker not only for quality, but for frequency. This is best exemplified by his dedication to fitness.

Yowza.

Seriously. I could do this all day.

Ahem. Where was I? At the start of the series, Best Abs returns to Starling City, where no one will recognize you if you slip on a hood and overdo it with green eyeshadow. Best Abs had been presumed dead for five years, following a shipwreck that claimed the lives of his father and the girl he was cheating on his girlfriend, Laurel, with (aka Laurel's sister). But Best Abs was actually stranded on a remote island; his time there gave him all those scars and transformed him into the Best Abs that we see today.

Also on that island was this guy, hereby dubbed Flashback Abs (Manu Bennett as Slade), along with Best Abs' first mentor, Yao Fei, and Shado, who has her own moments of shirtlessness. The past is shrouded in mystery, and Best Abs really doesn't like to talk about it. But he's got a lot of frustrations to work out. And I mean work out.

Now that Best Abs is fighting for justice in Starling City, he needs a bit of help to keep the streets safe. Because no man is an island. (See what I did there?)

Stealth Abs (David Ramsey as John Diggle) starts out as Best Abs' bodyguard, and he eventually joins Best Abs' clandestine cause. His abs are stealthy because they're usually hidden under a suit. And during the few times that he's not wearing one, the viewing audience is still cruelly denied his abs.

Seriously, dude -- follow Best Abs' lead! Shirts totally optional.

Much better. (Also: DAMN.)

Rounding out Best Abs' team is Felicity Smoak, the resident computer whiz. Felicity is delightful and often acts as the audience surrogate for inappropriate thoughts re: Best Abs.

See? Felicity knows what's up. However, she has yet to get shirtless with Oliver herself.

As for Best Abs' secret identity, his reappearance obvi shakes up his relationships with his family and friends -- including his ex, Laurel, and her policeman father. And to maintain his cover as a vacuous party boy, Best Abs buys a night club that his 18-year-old sister, Thea, later takes over. Because sure.

Thea likes to get shirtless with Junior Abs (Colton Haynes as Roy Harper), who has a hero crush on Best Abs -- a point of contention for the couple, since danger 'n stuff. I can't take Junior Abs seriously, because I so strongly associate him with Meghan's hilarious Teen Wolf recaps. Clearly, further research is necessary.

Over the past season and change, Arrow has quickly become a pretty good comic book show (ahem, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.). And they're deffo tapping into the wealth of DC Comics property, which is leading up to some veryyyy interesting storylines. But of course, this doesn't hurt, either.

Need me to slow that down for ya?

And in case you missed it, Arrow has the BEST promo peeps. That Season 2 ad campaign? GENIUS. Here it is again:





So, have y'all been watching Arrow? Are you as mesmerized by Stephen Amell on the salmon ladder as I am?