Awful Announcing

Wednesday night for the Golden State Warriors and Portland Trailblazers game in Portland, Espn allowed Bill Walton to call a game. The night went as any other Bill Walton game you’ve seen him call, but I sat in bed watching a marvelous basketball game where Kevin Durant put up 50 points and Damian Lillard added 44 points. The game of basketball was stupendous, but I could only think about one thing, and one thing only; the words Bill Walton was saying.

Over the last year and a half or so, I have been mildly obsessed with Walton and everything he does. I used to go to be fairly early as a habit of when I was a full time swimmer and student, but as I have done away with swimming and waking up terribly early, I’ve learned to stay up just slightly later at night. The benefit of staying up later during basketball season is you get to watch more basketball, but more importantly you get to hear Bill Walton speak over a game every here and now during the big Pac-12 games throughout the college basketball season. Last night we were blessed with more than enough quotes from the tallest Dead Head, and I couldn’t have been anymore happy about it.

If you missed this video of Walton talking about the world of mushrooms, then you missed a wonderful day. Here’s the video for you to catch up.

You know how sometimes people will ask you, “if you could have dinner or a conversation with a single person, dead or alive, who would it be?” Every time my answer would be Bill Walton. I’m not sure what topic would be on Walton’s mind that day. It could be mushrooms, it could be the Grateful Dead, it could be about marijuana, trees, nature, bicycles, San Diego, or almost anything in the world and it would be the most entertaining conversation I will ever have. Someone needs to link me up with Walton and I will be forever grateful and in your debt.

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These are a few of the golden words that Walton said on Wednesday night. Not sure where Walton saw five volcanoes in the state of Oregon, but I believe him. The thing that happened during the broadcast that was one of the most hilarious parts of the night is when Walton found out his son, Luke Walton, got ejected from the Lakers game Wednesday night.

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This conversation was held towards the end of the second quarter.

This happened shortly after Walton found out about his son’s ejection. An average NBA game lasts in between two to two and a half hours. You do the math for Bill. Walton also compared Kevin Durant to Steve Jobs??? I don’t know, you figure it out.

This happened nearing the buzzer of the second quarter. Let’s just say that there is no room for short term memory in Walton’s brain.

Now all we have to do is clone about 14 other Bill Walton’s and we will have a Bill Walton for every broadcast of the NBA on every night, and that’s all I really ever want in life.