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It’s not a silly little moment, it’s not the storm before the calm.

My breath huffed as I ran on the treadmill. About a month ago I had asked Terrance if the dress I was wearing fit right, he told me it looked a bit tight. He also suggested it may help if I start running. He was, of course, so right. I had let myself go a little and if I wanted to get up on that stage I needed to be healthy or my voice wouldn’t be as good. So, I had taken to running on the treadmill.

I stepped off and jumped into the shower to get cleaned up for my birthday dinner with Terrance.

As I stepped into my bathroom I looked in my closet for something he’d love. My eyes landed on a long sleeved shirt. Perfect. It was modest, just like he liked. He had told me in our first year that my clothes didn’t need to show anything off. He knew how beautiful I was. He was right again. I had him and he was all that I wanted. I didn’t need to draw anyone else’s eyes.

This is the deep and dying breath of this love that we’ve been working on.

Mom stepped in front of me as Terrance and I began to leave the kitchen.

“Where are you going?” She asked, glancing at Terrance. She had never liked him.

“Terrance is taking me out to eat.” I said, brushing her off and wrapping a scarf around my neck.

“What? Two days ago we planned to have dinner here and cake after.” She said.

“Yea, well plans change, mom. Terrance said he’d take me out. We’ll be back for cake.” I said, annoyed. An amused smile played on Terrance’s lips. I’m glad mom didn’t look over at him. I grabbed his hand and walked out the door.

Can’t seem to hold you like I want to, so I can feel you in my arms.

Once the door was closed and we began our walk to his car he pulled his hand from mine. “I see your mom still hates me.” He said.

“Yea, well they think you’re too controlling.” I griped. Something flashed in his eyes but I didn’t really pay attention. “But, ug, they just don’t get it. I want to do all this, you’re not making me do anything.”

He smiled. “I’d never do such a thing.” He muttered, speeding up to get past me. I caught his hand and put a smile back on.

“Hey you, where’s my hug?” I asked.

He pulled his hand away. “Later, we’re going to be late to our reservation.” He said. I frowned, but quickly fixed it. He didn’t like seeing my frown, and I didn’t want to upset him after all he was doing for me.

Nobody’s gonna come and save [me], we’ve pulled to many false alarms.

We got into his car and I flinched as he slammed his door. “What? Did I scare you?” He asked. I shook my head.

“No, sorry, it was just loud.” I said. “I didn’t expect it.”

He made a small noise and started the car. “Why does your mom think I’m controlling you? What do you tell her about me?” He asked, his voice hard with anger.

“Nothing, I promise.” I said, biting my lip. I always seemed to make him angry and ruin our nights. Lately, I haven’t been able to keep him happy. I always said or did something stupid. I heard him make a small, sarcastic laugh. “Terrance, please, I love you, you know I would never say anything against you.” I saw him untense and sigh.

“You’re right, I’m sorry. I love you too. Let’s just try to enjoy the night okay?” He said. I let out a small breath I didn’t know I was holding and nodded.

We’re going down, and you can see it too. We’re going down, and you know that we;re doomed. My dear, we’re slow dancing in a burning room.

I took a deep breath and blew out my candles. Please, let me and Terrance get over this rough patch, I wished. When I opened my eyes I saw my family and Terrance in front of me. He smiled and my stomach fluttered. At dinner he had told me he had a birthday present for me. One he would give me after I blew out my candles. I couldn’t wait to see what it was.

After we all finished my cake Terrance pulled me outside, letting me throw on a coat before we went. While we were at diner it had started snowing. He lead me out of the backyard and down by the water. The sky was lit with stars, the moon shining bright.

I was the one you always dreamed of, you were the one I tried to draw.

He pulled me into a deep kiss. At first I didn’t kiss back, this was unusual for him to show so much affection. But I quickly embraced it, happy for it, and kissed him back. He pulled away after a second and looked at him, his eyes holding hurt, and something else I couldn’t make out.

“What the hell Athena,” He growled, his hands tightening on my wrists. Just like that our perfect moment was shattered.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what’s wrong.” I gasped.

“Do you not love me anymore? Is that why you didn’t want to kiss me? Is our relationship nothing to you?” His voice rose.

How dare you say it’s nothing to me? Baby, you’re the only light I ever saw.

“No!” I exclaimed. “No, you just usually don’t do that so, I was surprised.” His grip didn’t loosen and my wrists were starting to hurt. “Terrance, please, you’re hurting me.”

He gave a disgusted laugh and threw my hands away. “Hurting you? You think you not kissing me back didn’t hurt me?”

“Oh, Terrance,” I breathed, moving my hands to his chest. “Terrance, I did kiss you back. You just took me by surprise. Baby, I love you. You’re my world.”

His body relaxed again and he pulled me into a hug. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, kissing away the tears that had slipped from my eyes. I hated hurting him. “I know you do, I know.” He stepped back.

I’ll make the most of all the sadness. You’ll be a bitch because you can. You try to hit me just to hurt me so you leave me feeling dirty because you can’t understand.

“Listen, Athena.” He whispered, pulling me close again. “For your birthday present, I wanted to ask if you’d move in with me. Lets get away from your parents who hate me, and live our own life. Lets show them that you and I are great.”

I smiled. “Oh, Terrance! Yes! Yes, I’ll move in with you!” I said excitedly.

“Really” He asked. “Well, lets go pack your stuff. Why wait? Let’s move you in tonight!”

I nodded in excitement and pulled him into the house.

We’re going down, and you can see it too. We’re going down, and you know that we’re doomed. My dear, we’re slow dancing in a burning room.

This was perfect. This would fix us. We would be okay.

When we came back in my father had been called out on an emergency. My mother watched us bring up bags of my stuff. “Where are you going? What are you doing?” She asked, hovering a little in the air, looking worried.

“Mom, I’m moving in with Terrance.” I said.

My mother gasped. “No, no young lady you are not.” She said.

“Mom!” I screamed, finally breaking on her. She couldn’t ruin this chance I had to fix mine and Terrance’s relationship. “Im leaving! I’m no longer a child and I can do whatever I want. I want to move in with Terrance so I am! You can’t stop me! He’s not bad! I’ll show you he’s not! And until you can see that, you can’t see me! Him and I are one now, you can’t have one without the other!”

She flinched back, tears coming to her eyes. She covered her mouth as a sob came out and flew upstairs. She had never been one for confrontations. I let out an exasperated sigh and grabbed as many bags as I could, Terrance following behind me.

Do you think we oughta know by now. Don’t you think we shoulda learned somehow.

Slow Dancing In A Burning Room by John Mayer