Welcome to oil country, where the scrappy survive, the rich get richer and hot dudes from your old favorite teen shows are all grown up and fight in the mud.

Is there much else to ABC's Blood and Oil? Not that you haven't really seen before. But if the aforementioned is enough for you, invest in this ABC primetime soap that's got all the ingredients to become your new favorite guilty pleasure.

To back up: The story here centers on Gossip Girl alum Chace Crawford playing one half of a young married couple — Billy and Cody (Rebecca Rittenhouse) — who risks it all in the quest to go start a humble laundromat chain in North Dakota.

They've got their pockets stuffed with other people's money, many well wishers and pretty soap opera eyes. What could go wrong?

Besides everything...

Because Billy is a terrible driver — who crashes twice in the pilot alone — the couple loses their entire start-up stock of washers and immediately needs a backup plan.

Cody, thankfully, with her two years of pharm school, is qualified enough to get a job at a pharmacy in a town where people "either have two houses or two jobs." They apparently take what they can get.

Billy, meanwhile, tries his hand at working a low-level job in the oil fields but that goes south when he gets into a scuffle with Wick (Greek alum Scott Michael Foster), the entitled a-hole son of Hap Briggs, a big oil man.

It's clear Cody, who learns midway through the episode that she's pregnant, is the capable one here: she looks out for leads, has the business mind, can work her way around a deal, etc.

A scene from episode 3 of 'Blood and Oil.' Image: ABC/Fred Hayes

But Billy has swagger and Chace Crawford's face, so he gets by. He even gets himself a bag of money by pulling off some quick transactions that were far too convenient not to be bothersome.

He intends to use this borrowed money (all cash, by the way) to buy a piece of land that he wants to sell back to oil man Briggs, but runs into issues.

Briggs' people want to buy the land for double what Billy offered the old man who owned it.

Luckily, this is a very fast-moving soap and before you can say "unrealistic," the couple have borrowed money from cash-flushed bar owner, purchased the land, made a deal with Briggs to get 5% of what he makes from drilling through their land and invested $50,000 in their kind neighbor's dream restaurant. Congrats, quickest millionaires ever.

As with any show like this, the actual deals being made and business being conducted is the least important thing on screen. More interesting: How many comparisons you can make between Briggs' wife and Claire from House of Cards? How many underhanded stares are exchanged? And how many times you can stage a fight between the two best looking cast members?

The latter happens in the final minutes of the episode, when Wick (which, again, is a real name on this show) is caught trying to steal oil from his dad.

Wick (in a classic thief mask) and Billy literally fight in a puddle of oil. If that's not why this show was created, I don't know why it's on the air.

The premiere ends with a spark flying after a gun goes off and, presumably, heading straight for all the oil on the ground.

Cliffhanger. In case you care.