So, back to this company meeting. We had heard the news that Broadway shows were cancelled for a month, so we just assumed we were next, and of course we were. I had been in rehearsals for a month and was so close to having my Hamilton debut. March 12th was the day of our last show in Miami and the following morning, I was on a plane to get back to my family. Going through the Miami airport was eerie. If someone coughed, I moved. If someone sneezed, I moved. My main concern was getting home safe and making sure I did spread anything to my wife and son. I made it home fine and so far, no signs of any sickness.

Coronavirus. I am so sick of hearing this. Sick of hearing about healthy people being hospitalized, sick of hearing of people not taking this seriously (Floridians! and I can say that, because I lived there), and sick of hearing of lives being cut short because of a pandemic for which we weren’t prepared. To quickly clear up what my family was doing: my wife and son were going to stay with her family while I was in rehearsals, then once things calmed down, they were going to join me on tour. I missed them every day. Luckily, we have no debt and we have our six-month emergency fund (Thank you, Dave Ramsey: if you don’t know who he is and you are unsure about your money plan, look him up.), so we are prepared for things if they were to ever go wrong and look, they have.

I have been at my in-laws’ home in Girard, Ohio with my wife and son, and we are trying to make the best of this situation. They are, of course, my first priority and will always be, but I couldn’t help but respond to a post on Instagram from The Ensemblist that asked: “What do you miss most?” My simple response was “Having a purpose.” Now I know I have a purpose, but that’s how I felt in the moment. I was literally stuck inside. All I have known for the last fifteen years was quickly taken away from me. I’ve had dreams of performing Hamilton and now it’s “Postponed Until Further Notice.” What the hell does that even mean? I don’t want to have to file for unemployment, I don’t want to have to worry about when I get paid next, all I want is to put on that costume and hear that downbeat. So much work and practice went into my first month of rehearsals and now I have no idea if/when I’ll be back on that stage. I was so close to my Hamilton debut and now it just gets further and further away. I don’t even know what to do anymore. I rehearse in my in-laws’ living room, but it just isn’t the same. I am keeping my sanity by spending every second with my family, but I pray I remember every little detail to this dense show. At this moment, professionally, I just feel lost.

How do we move forward from this? There won’t just be one day when we are told by officials, “Everything is normal, go back to what you were doing.” I believe this will be a long process to get back to normal. It was like this one time I did a juice cleanse for five days then ate Chicken-N-Waffles the very next morning... It was not a pretty picture. I guess what I am saying is that there will be a slow transition back to normal and not having an answer today makes tomorrow seem so blah. I can’t wait to get that email from our Company Manager giving us a date, but what date will that be? I don’t want to guess, I just want to know. The only good thing to come out of this whole situation is that I get to wake up and spend the whole day with my family. That’s the simple answer on how I keep my sanity. There’s only so many Live Instagram Workout Videos that I don’t want to do.