As you may or may not have heard, Donald Trump refused to release his tax returns while running for president, claiming, falsely, that an audit prevented him from doing so but that the public would see them just as soon as he got the green light. Two years and 242 days after moving into the White House that, of course, has not happened. Instead, Trump has sicced his Treasury secretary, attorney general, and various personal lawyers on anyone attempting to get their hands on the information, in a manner suggesting the details within could make a person look quite bad. Typically, Trump’s attorneys have argued that such requests, like the ones from various House committees, constitute “PRESIDENTIAL HARASSMENT” or supposedly lack “a legitimate legislative purpose.” On Thursday, though, they came up with a novel new argument: It’s illegal to investigate a sitting president for any crimes he may have committed.

In a lawsuit filed today against Manhattan District Attorney Cyrus Vance Jr., who recently subpoenaed eight years of Trump’s tax returns to determine if the Trump Organization falsified business records relating to Stormy Daniels payments, the president’s lawyers claim such a request is unconstitutional because the founding fathers believed sitting presidents should not be subject to the criminal process. “The framers of our Constitution understood that state and local prosecutors would be tempted to criminally investigate the president to advance their own careers and to advance their political agendas,” the suit reads. “And they likewise understood that having to defend against these actions would distract the president from his constitutional duties.”

Strangely, actual legal experts aren’t entirely convinced of this argument. “Even assuming that the president cannot be indicted while in office, it does not follow that his business and associates are likewise immune from investigation,” Harry Sandick, a former federal prosecutor, told Bloomberg. “The complaint makes light of the idea that ruling in their favor would elevate the president above the law, but it certainly seems as if the president views himself as above the law.”

Vance, who agreed not to enforce the subpoena—issued to Trump’s longtime accounting firm Mazars USA—until a scheduled September 25 hearing, is investigating if executives at the Trump Organization filed false business records concerning hush money payments to adult film star Stormy Daniels and former Playboy model Karen McDougal, who both claim to have had affairs with Trump, charges he, naturally, denies. The president’s former fixer, Michael Cohen, admitted to arranging the hush money payments and released audio of him discussing the Daniels payment with Trump.

Thursday’s lawsuit is just one of a handful of attempts by the president to keep his totally legit finances secret. He’s also sued to block House Democrats’ demands for his tax returns and is seeking a court order to stop Congress from obtaining his New York state returns, which a recently passed law allows them to do. Additionally, his legal team is challenging California’s new requirement that any presidential candidate must release their tax returns to get on the primary ballot. And he’s appealing orders by federal judges in Washington and New York that would let three House committees receive his records from Mazars, Capital One Financial, and Deutsche Bank, the latter of which reportedly has seen at least some of his taxes.

It’s almost as though someone has got something to hide!

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Trump is bringing people together

In shared hatred of him:

[Michael Cohen has]…made Omarosa Manigault Newman his new self-help guru, a source told Page Six. “She apparently has taken on the role of his personal adviser/coach,” said the source, who revealed that the former White House staffer and Apprentice star was spotted visiting Cohen at the Otisville Federal Correctional Institution in Otisville, New York, this summer.

The 53-year-old former lawyer for President Trump has been in the federal pen since May, when he began serving a three-year sentence for campaign finance violations and fraud. One of the topics the pair bonded over is their feelings about their old boss. The source said Newman is “helping him get through this since they share a common disdain for the president.”

Sounds like a support group more than a few million people might be interested in.

Notoriously evil group of people show a rare flash of humanity

The administration has thought about it and apparently decided deporting kids with cancer was a bad look:

Aaaaannnd they’re back

According to the president, who just stripped California of the right to clean air, the state’s homeless are responsible for the nation’s pollution problem:

President Donald Trump on Wednesday threatened to have the Environmental Protection Agency issue a “notice” to San Francisco over the city's homeless issue, comments that were criticized by local officials. From Air Force One, Trump, who had been in California for a two-day fundraising trip, blamed the homeless population for environmental issues. “There’s tremendous pollution being put into the ocean,” he said, noting “there are needles, there are other things.”

“We’re going to be giving San Francisco—they’re in total violation—we’re going to be giving them the notice very soon,” Trump said. “The EPA is going to be putting out a notice and you know they’re in serious violation and this is environmental, very environmental,” he added, like the plague on society he is. “And they have to clean it up. We can’t have our cities going to hell.”

Elsewhere!

White House Rebuffs Democrats as Whistle-Blower Case Snowballs (Bloomberg)

Stephen Miller Reportedly Has a Human Girlfriend (Vanities)

Senate Democrats release list of climate studies buried by Trump administration (Politico)

House passes short-term spending bill, punting shutdown fight to November (Washington Post)

Jeff Bezos unveils sweeping plan to tackle climate change (CNBC)

Fintech Firm Stripe Climbs Ranks of U.S. Startup Valuations (WSJ)

World Economy to Grow at Lowest Rate Since Financial Crisis: OECD (WSJ)

World’s largest artichoke salad assembled in Peru (UPI)

2nd suspect arrested in golden toilet theft from Winston Churchill house (AP)

More Great Stories from Vanity Fair

— The epic meltdown that ended Travis Kalanick

— Inside Jeffrey Epstein’s curious sociopathy

— SolarCity: how Elon Musk gambled Tesla to save another project

— “It’s a f--king scam”: beware the Hollywood Con Queen

— The nine-figure bill for Trump’s “very inexpensive” golf habit

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