By Chris Wright

In Joey’s mind he’s got himself a delightfully hip ‘Morrissey’ quiff with his latest coif, though to our eye he’s actually come out looking more like a cross between a nervy, under-nourished WWI private, K.D Lang and the long-lost third Jedward triplet…

“I’m all about GPS sport brassieres, bibs are so mainstream”

Hipster in motion

Newcastle’s new boys Yohan Cabaye and Demba Ba stick together to make sure they don’t get lost on their first day at big school



Smudge still helps out at training, retreiving Shola Ameobi’s shots from the hedgerow

“You seen his hair? He looks like Forrest Gump!”

“I could just rape Joey’s new barnet, apples and pears, apples and pears”

Photos: PA