A Marine patrols a road in Afghanistan’s Helmand province. | Getty Images Primary Source I’m a Trans Veteran Who Served Six Tours in the Mideast. What Does Trump Have Against Me?

Sona Avedian is a Marine and former defense contractor who served six combat tours in Iraq and Afghanistan.

I was in Okinawa in 2001, about a year into my service in the U.S. Marine Corps, when I learned what “transgender” meant. At the time, I hadn’t known that such a thing existed, let alone that there was a term for it. I knew only that I was living in a perpetual state of shame and guilt. And in Japan, blessed with a high-speed internet connection, I decided to Google what was going on inside my head.

For the first time, I knew that there were others who felt the same way I did: My gender was female, but at birth, my sex was male. I also knew, however, that the U.S. government had an agreement with that male, who had enlisted to serve his country. I would have been kicked out of the military had I decided to come out or transition. So, I was willing to shut out my gender identity for the sake of normalcy, and in order to keep the job I loved.


I went on to complete six combat tours in Iraq and Afghanistan—first while on active duty in the Marine Corps from 2000–05 and then as a military contractor from 2005-12. I spent four tours in and around Fallujah, and two tours stationed in Helmand Province, a Taliban stronghold—all as part of the signals intelligence community, where I intercepted the messages, phone calls and emails sent and received by enemy forces.

I’m proud of the work I did for the country I love. But my life was also incomplete. I didn’t come out as trans until 2012, after leaving my job as a defense contractor and moving back home to Michigan.

Last year, when the Defense Department announced that transgender troops could stay in uniform and serve openly, I knew from lived experience what a difference it would make in the lives of thousands of brave men and women. The country they were sacrificing so much for was taking a major step toward accepting them for who they are.

At least that’s what I thought until Wednesday morning, when, standing in my bedroom, putting on makeup, I first learned about the president’s tweets.

Trump’s threat to reverse current policy is more than a threat to current or future transgender troops; it’s an insult to our military as a whole. The president dodged the draft during the Vietnam War, and yet he would deny confidence and self-respect to those who willingly risk their lives to keep his country safe. It takes bravery to enlist and serve in the armed forces; imagine the immense courage it takes to come out and transition while also serving in the military. Those who do so are some of the most dedicated service members America has. And the president has said that doesn’t want their help in protecting our nation. That’s a slap in the face. No one should be made to feel inferior for being who they are while serving and sacrificing in ways that most Americans will never understand or fully appreciate.

The president says he has rationales for the policy change—that we need to focus on victory, and that the costs to pay for soldiers’ transitions are too great—but these reasons fall apart with even the most basic amount of prodding.

A photo of the author taken while enlisted in the Marines. | Courtesy of Sona Avedian

This isn’t about unit cohesion. Having served in the military, I can tell you that cohesion will be badly damaged by pulling out deployed troops who are transgender. In uniform, you come to depend on your unit; they’re like family, and a bond is created that is impossible to understand unless you’ve served. How did my Marine buddies react when they heard the news that I’d transitioned? They threw me a big coming-out party at Camp Lejeune in North Carolina. In advance, I warned them that it might be a lot to adjust to—whoever wants to meet me in person as a woman can come; if you don’t, then don’t. Out of the 60-or-so people who were invited, about 45 showed up. I was overwhelmed by the response.

Nor is this about money: Studies have shown that any amount saved in terms of medical costs will be minuscule on the scale of the military budget. Undoubtedly, there are some Trump supporters who don’t want their tax dollars going to pay for certain troops’ health care. But this is America, where we make compromises so that other people can live their lives with dignity. You are tolerant of others; you expect the same tolerance in return.

So this isn’t about morale, or the bottom line; it is about respect, and compassion for those who are willing to put aside everything to enlist on behalf of their country. The truth is that even if Trump’s policy change is implemented, transgender people are going to continue to stay in the military. Trump will simply be condemning those American troops to living lives of secrecy and self-doubt. They’ll continue to be afraid to be themselves.

Is that really what we wish for America’s Finest?

As a Marine, I was fit—probably in the top 20th percentile of the Corps—and I like to think I was mentally stable and sound and relatively mature. But I’m in way better shape than I ever was as a Marine, mentally and physically. All the things you fear about happening when you transition, they’re all outweighed by the happiness and freedom and hope that come along with being the self outside that you’ve always felt inside. I have perspective that I never had before. I’ve lived publicly as a male and as a female, and that has made me a more compassionate person. Once you’ve been on both sides of the fence, you have a better view of the backyard. I don’t want to see transgender members of the military once again deprived of that same chance.

The Marine Corps showed me how to take things in stride. You can be asked to drop everything and deploy in 24 hours. We’re the world’s 9-1-1 responders: we learn to expect setbacks, weather them and bounce back. I’m in my mid-30s now, and in my life, I’ve seen the rights of LGBTQ citizens change drastically, sometimes for the worse, but more often for the better. Which is why I know that even though Trump’s proposed ban on transgender service members might be a step back, we’ll take two steps forward again soon.