Chapter 6

– Months ago –

When she woke up that morning, she lied in bed and listened. Jason’s house was quiet, just like it had been when she was growing up. It had always been a place of peace, of fun, of safety, of love.

She put on her sweatshirt and jeans and walked upstairs to the kitchen.

She couldn’t help but feel strange to be in their house alone.

She needed the call Margo and catch up with her, but ever since Margo had started college, Kayla had less in common with her. She felt like Margo was on a different playing field or a different path now, and she wouldn’t be able to understand the rules of the game Kayla was forced to play.

Luckily, it seemed that Jason understood. He seemed to respect her, when most people tried to make Kayla feel bad for things that had happened in her life that were completely out of her control. He had always treated her respectfully​.

But then, last night. She thought of the way Jason had looked at her from across the table. He’d been checking her out, before he had recognized her.

It made her wish that she had bought that outfit instead of having borrowed it from one of the dancers. She’d like to wear it just for Jason sometime.

She found some cereal and after her breakfast, went down to her new bathroom to shower. Her mind kept wandering to dirty thoughts. She thought about how crazy it would be if Jason had cameras in the bathroom, and he was recording her in the shower. She loved that fantasy, even though the reality of that would be creepy. But one thing she’d fully grown to embrace was that fantasies, no matter how strange or taboo, were just that. Fantasies.

No one ever had to know that she fantasized about Jason, about him filming her, about him watching her and secretly getting off in it.

It made her feel sexy to pretend. She imagined that the camera was on the shower handle, so she washed every part of her to show off.

Playing around in the shower made time go by too quickly. Before she knew it, the water was running cold, and she had to hurry to keep from freezing.

She found Margo’s old hair dryer and it warmed her up. By the time she was getting dressed, she heard the front door close, and then heard loud footsteps coming down the stairs.

She popped her head out of the bathroom to look down the hall. Jason had just made it down the steps and he smiled brightly when he saw her. The way he looked at her made her feel beautiful.

He asked, “Want to go soon?”

She nodded. “Yep. Just finishing up. I’ll be up in 1 minute.”

“Okie Dokie.”

He walked back upstairs and she was left smiling at his endearing dorkiness. Who says ‘Okie Dokie?’

She applied a small amount of makeup, grabbed her purse, and walked upstairs.

When she rounded the corner into the kitchen, she just barely caught Jason looking her up and down.

Usually she didn’t like when men checked her out, but for some reason it gave her a quick thrill to catch Jason doing it.

She reminded herself of the difference between fantasy and reality. She told herself, Having that sort of relationship with Jason is just a fantasy. Don’t think that could really happen.

He asked, “Still OK with getting your car first?”

She had every penny she owned in her purse, and she hoped it would be enough. “Sure, but if it’s more than $456.37, then I’m out of luck.”

“We’ll make it work. Together.”

She wanted to argue, but it was clear that Jason had made up his mind.

They drove to the repair shop, and only one guy was there. Jason asked to talk to the manager, and the guy claimed to be him.

Jason asked if the car was ready and the guy responded, “We didn’t start on the work yet.” Then he walked into the office and looked through several stacks of papers. “Here, the timing belt broke while she was driving, and it busted a cylinder. So with labor it’ll be around $3000 to fix. We were waiting to hear back because, honestly, the car’s not worth more than that, so usually, at this point, people total it out instead of playing for the repairs.”

Kayla was furious. She didn’t believe the guy. She put her hand on Jason’s arm, “Can I talk to you for a second?”

The mechanic said, “You all take your time. Here’s the quote, if it helps. Also, I have a guy who buys car’s like this. He’d probably give ya a couple hundred for it.”

Kayla walked outside and Jason followed with the paper. She was so furious, she didn’t know where to start.

She crossed her arms and tapped her foot.

Jason asked, “What do you want to do?”

She blurt out, “I have the service records on this car. I bought it with 95,000 miles on it. It had its timing belt changed at 80,000 miles. It only has 130,000 on it now. There’s no way the timing belt broke. So I don’t know if I should have it towed to a different mechanic or what.”

She felt close to tears, but didn’t want Jason to see her cry about something so menial. He asked, “Do you mind if I call my friend who is a mechanic? I’d like his opinion before we make a decision.”

That sounded like a perfect idea. She nodded, hopefully.

Getting his phone out, he pressed a few buttons, then brought it to his ear. He smiled at Kayla as he waited.

His smile made her feel better. Having him here made her feel better. She was incredibly thankful to have him. What did I do to deserve him?

He began speaking, “Hey, you got a sec to talk cars?”

Then he laughed, and began explaining what happened, intermittently asking Kayla questions about the make and model. He referred to Kayla as his friend, which warmed her heart. She wanted to be friends with him and she hoped this arrangement would work out.

She started to reflect on her decision to take the job at the strip club. She hadn’t felt good about it, but she had no idea what else to do. She had decided to get her college degree, and she wasn’t going to let a shitty, thieving roommate and a busted car ruin it for her. She’d do whatever it took to reach her goal.

Luckily, with Jason, ’whatever it took’ would be much more palatable than at a strip club. She certainly didn’t mind cleaning and cooking, especially if it meant getting to spend time with him. She’d always had a little bit of a crush on him. Now she was just worried about making a fool of herself. He’d made it clear last night that he didn’t want sex. But she also couldn’t ignore the tingle in her stomach when he smiled at her.

He told his friend the name of the shop they were at, and said, “Ok, if that’s what you want to do. Thanks.”

When he hung up, he told Kayla, “So, my buddy, Joel, is a total nerd. He’s going to come meet us and talk to the mechanic. He said it’s possible that a timing belt could break so early, although unlikely. But it’s also possible that it didn’t do as much damage as the mechanic is claiming. He is a nerd because he wants to come see for himself. He lives about 10 minutes away. Do you mind?”

Relief washed over her. She wanted to say thank you, but was worried she’d tear up. She just nodded and said, “Sounds like a good idea.”

While waiting, they walked to a nearby coffee shop. Jason insisted on buying. And on their walk back, Kayla decided she should tell him how she got into this mess.

“Look, Jason, I know it looks like I’ve been stupid and irresponsible here, but I’d like to explain.”

He shook his head, “I’m always happy to talk, but you don’t owe me an explanation, Kayla. I know you’re a smart and responsible person.”

Her face felt warm. He might be the only person who’s ever given me the benefit of the doubt.

“That is really nice of you. But, I’d still like to tell you. I made a terrible decision on a roommate. We were only there a month and a half, and in that time, she lost us our deposit, she cleaned out my bank account, she got arrested on a drug charge and a solicitation charge. And I’m such an idiot that I didn’t see it coming. She also stole my credit card, but luckily I was able to report that as stolen before she charged too much. But the bank account thing… I’m such an idiot. She got me drunk one night, and I told her my pin number. And because of that, the bank is saying they don’t have any liability.”

They were almost back to the shop. “And then my car broke down, on my way to work last week. My new manager decided to cut my shifts for being late, and that’s when I decided to call my friend who works at Knockouts. He is one of the bouncers, and we’re in a class together. He mentioned it to me a couple months ago… he’s gay, by the way, so he wasn’t just hitting on me… Not that it matters… but it seemed like my only option.”

Kayla noticed a motorcycle pulled up to the shop, and the mechanic and the motorcycle guy were having a serious discussion. When Jason saw him, he waved.

She felt a little like she’d just spilled her guts and it was being ignored, but she tried to remind herself that Jason was helping her.

Jason shook his friend’s hand and introduced Kayla. The mechanic asked if they wanted to look at the car, and then led them out the back door.

They tried to start it up and listened to the engine.

Jason’s friend showed Kayla what was out of place under the hood, and they decided that it was unusual, but that the mechanic had been correct.

Kayla fought back tears. She was not going to cry in front of these men. It was just a car.

She tried not to get overwhelmed. She needed a car, and she had almost no money. Kayla could feel Jason looking at her, probably trying to read her mood. She tried to smile at him, but only succeeded at something more like a grimace.

Jason asked his friend how much a dealership would give them on trade-in for a car in this condition, and Kayla’s stomach knotted up.

She had tried to go to a dealership the last time she’d bought a car. The salesmen had been rude and condescending, and it was enough for her to never consider going back. Plus, the prices had been outrageous, as compared to what she could get buying a car straight from an individual.

Kayla was in her own world, trying not to get upset, and she barely heard Joel say, “My friend at the Chevy dealership owes me a favor.” And a few minutes later he said, “He can give you 3,000 if you buy a new car, and 2,000 if you get another used car.”

Jason and Kayla shook the mechanics hand. Jason said, “We’ll let you know what we’re doing in a few hours.”

Somehow Kayla was sitting in the passenger’s seat of Jason’s car again, and they were driving. He pulled into a restaurant, and parked. “You hungry?”

Kayla shook her head, and kept staring out the window.

Jason got out of the car, and walked around and opened her door. He leaned into the car and asked, “Will you come sit with me while I eat, at least?”

She snapped out of it a little bit, and looked at him with an apologetic smile. “I’m coming.”

He offered his hand, and she took it. She felt like a princess being escorted to a ball by a prince, instead of a broke 21 year old walking into a diner with her friend’s dad.

My friend’s hot dad.

She shook her head. Don’t think about that right now!

He rested an arm on her shoulder, and asked, “Are you alright?”

She shook her head, and then nodded. “I’m fine.”

After they walked into the restaurant, and found a table, Jason asked, “Do you have a budget?”

Kayla’s eyes narrowed on his and her eyebrows pushed down and together. “Uh… kind of.”

Jason pulled a pen out of his pocket, and turned the paper placemat over to it’s blank side. He began writing.

She watched him scribble a list, then draw three columns.

In the first, he wrote, “Jason Covers.”

In the second, he wrote, “Kayla’s expenses.”

He left the third blank.

Car insurance, groceries, rent, electric, cable, internet, water, and trash all went under his column. He only wrote car, maintenance, gas, tuition, books, cell phone, and clothes under her column.

He asked, “If you had to calculate per month what you spend on tuition and books, what would it be?”

Kayla had already figured this one out. “It’s 1,355 a month, if I spread it across the whole year. That’s full time, no classes in the summer. If I take summer classes, it’s 2,420 a month. My scholarships don’t apply to the summer, so I just plan to take classes during the normal year, and use the 1,355 for planning.”

He smiled at her, which made her happy.

He asked, “That includes books?”

She nodded.

“How much do you spend on clothes and shoes and all that?”

Kayla laughed. “I buy everything at thrift stores. So probably $30 a month.”

He raised an eyebrow. “And how much would that translate to if you bought it all at a mall?”

Kayla didn’t have to add this one up. She knew how resourceful she was when clothes shopping. She would find name brand shirts for 2-3 dollars, which would cost fifty to eighty dollars new. “Hundreds of dollars.”

He nodded, but didn’t write anything down. “And how often were you filling up your car?”

“Once a week. Usually twenty bucks.”

“Parking pass at school?”

Kayla shook her head. “I park off campus and walk. Passes are like three hundred a semester.”

“Cell phone?”

“Forty a month.”

Jason slid the budget over to Kayla, and the waitress walked over. Kayla was having trouble concentrating, and she panicked with ordering. She read off the first thing that she saw. “A reuben.”

I don’t even like reubens. What am I doing?

As the waitress started to walk away, Kayla said, “Wait. Can I have a burger instead?”

The waitress smiled and wrote it down. “No problem, sweetie.”

Kayla looked back down to the budget Jason had written up. She added up her expenses in her head.

Jason had written “+ $2,000” at the bottom, in the third column.

When she looked back up at Jason, he asked, “Given these expenses, and knowing that you’re getting $2,000 a month now. How much would you feel comfortable paying each month for a car?”

Kayla felt completely overwhelmed. She wanted to cry again. She shook her head, not wanting to answer.

Jason asked, “If you bought a new car, it would have a warrantee for like 3-5 years. Which means you don’t have to pay for anything that goes wrong.”

Kayla had never taken out a loan. She always saved up first, and then paid outright for things. She hated the idea of being stuck with a car payment. She felt trapped. Kayla felt tears coming to her eyes. She blinked, and tried to think of something else.

Bunnies. Funny puppy videos. Guys falling off skateboards during a trick. She looked at Jason, who smiled when she made eye contact. Jason’s smile.

She felt the tears receding, and she was able to say, “I’ve never had a loan before. Don’t you end up paying a bunch of interest?”

Jason nodded. “We’ll have to see what the rates are. But usually for new cars, you get the best rate.”

She tried to do the math in her head. For a 25,000 dollar car, she’d have to pay over $400 a month, before factoring in interest. “Jason, there’s no way I can afford a new car.”

He said seriously, “I’m just asking how much you’d be comfortable paying.”

She shook her head. “With the $500 a month I have left after bills, I wouldn’t feel comfortable paying any more than maybe $150 for a car. And that’s nowhere near what I’d need for a new car.”

He nodded. “You might be surprised.”

She was confused, but at least she wasn’t on the verge of tears.

When their food came, they began eating, and he said, “Sorry we got a little side-tracked earlier. I really do want to hear your story if you’re willing to share it. Is your roommate in jail, then?”

Kayla liked that he brought it back up. She certainly wasn’t going to, since he’d dropped the subject to go talk to his friend. “No. She posted bail.”

Kayla felt her anger boiling up, as it was likely to do when she thought of Heather. “She probably used my money to post it.”

Jason took a bite of his sandwich, and asked with a full mouth. “Can I ask how much she took?”

Kayla had just taken a bite too, but felt comfortable enough to respond. “I had just over seven thousand dollars.”

Jason coughed, “Holy shit.”

Kayla appreciated his surprise. She had been proud of herself for saving that much. It was her little nest egg. Her safety net. And that bitch had stolen it.

Jason asked, “And you talked to the bank?”

Kayla nodded. “They said there was nothing to be done.”

Jason asked, “Do you mind if I ask around about that? It doesn’t sound right. I think we might be able to get your money back. Or some of it, anyway.”

Kayla nodded. “Sure.” She didn’t want to say more. For once in her life, she felt like someone was helping her, like she wasn’t alone.

She thought back to when she lived with her brother when she was 15 years old. One of his friends had been drinking one night, and he followed her to the bathroom and kissed her, then felt her breasts. Kayla had tried to get away. She wasn’t even remotely attracted to this guy. When she pushed him away and told him to fuck off, luckily he did. She locked herself in her room that night, and the next day had told her brother what happened. Her brother asked, “He didn’t fuck you, so what’s the big deal?”

She had felt so alone when he said that to her. She had thought a big brother was supposed to protect her, but she learned that day that he didn’t care enough to even try.

But at the diner with Jason, she felt like she’d found a friend. Someone who cared enough to help. Someone who wanted to be with her as she faced life’s challenges.

It felt good.

It felt great .