They’re the unsung heroes of every article that graces Philly.com. Whether they are waxing philosophic on City Hall (“u suck nutter!”), passionately discussing local sports teams (“u suck phillies!”), or just contemplating life in general (“u suck philly!”), the commenters of Philly.com have created one of the city’s biggest communities.

Finally, after years of being restricted to the comment field in each article, these mainstays of the region’s main media source are going to shine.

That’s right: for one day, and one day only, Philly.com, in cooperation with its offline publications the Inquirer and Daily News, will be allowing its commenters to decide the site’s content and even write it up.

“This has actually been a long time coming,” admitted company spokesman Richard O’Brien. “In-depth pieces of newsworthy journalism are, well, yesterday’s news. Today’s hurried and overworked consumer wants something that they can not only easily digest, but that also speaks on their level.”

This move is the latest innovation for the fledgling media empire. Once possessing a stranglehold on the city, the Daily News and Inquirer—and Philly.com, for that matter—have seen readership steadily decline. Part of this is due to the widespread availability of news on the Internet, while other is due to the plethora of other, better news sources in the Philadelphia area itself, ranging from alternative weekly newspapers to local TV to schizophrenic panhandlers screaming on street corners during rush hour.

The newspapers did everything they could to hold onto their audience, meaning that they reduced the publications’ content while raising prices. For some reason, this did not work.

Geekadelphia was able to get a sneak peek at some of the stories that top Philly.com commenters were working on. Here is what to expect:

“philly teams suck and always will suck”, an in-depth analysis of Philadelphia professional sports teams that will detail the history of each sport as well as study current standings to paint a picture of the future.

“i wanna have cecily tynans babies,” an editorial piece on local TV meteorologist Cecily Tynan that will focus on her forecasting abilities (one sentence) and her on-air appearance (one giant run-on sentence that spans 15 pages).

“drivers in this city can go to hell,” an update on the relationship between bicyclists and drivers from the perspective of a bicyclist.

“bike riders in this city can go to hell,” Stu Bykofsky’s regular column.

“who cares. wtf no one goes to this shit,” a study of Philadelphia’s performing arts scene.

“ill nevr go to this place again their food tastes like puke and neone who eats here is an idiot,” a review of a randomly-selected popular Philadelphia restaurant.

Additionally, to keep with the “commenters” theme, each copy of both the Inquirer and Daily News will have full-page photos of every local politician and hopeful candidate, including those who have since died. Scrawled across each photo will be the phrase “this jerk needs to get out of office.”

If this technique proves effective (and, honestly, how could it not?), it could soon be applied to other publications. Already, we here at Geekadelphia are considering replacing the entire staff with Bronies.

By the way, Fluttershy rules.