New Study Shows Link Between Sex, Pregnancy

ANN ARBOR, MI—Researchers at the University of Michigan announced Tuesday that a comprehensive, decade-long study has discovered a strong correlation between sexual intercourse and pregnancy in women—a groundbreaking conclusion that is sure to have far-reaching implications.

According to Dr. Michael Citino, who led the study, nearly every one of the tens of thousands of test subjects had engaged in sexual intercourse at least once in the several months immediately preceding pregnancy.

“The correlation is dramatic and astounding, and gives us fresh insight into how and why women become pregnant,” Citino said at a press conference, noting also that the results of this study can be immediately beneficial for humankind, especially in the area of family planning.

“For instance, extrapolating the data would seem to indicate that for anyone who wishes to avoid becoming pregnant with a child—or impregnating someone else—abstaining from sexual intercourse should, according to the study, be one very effective way to achieve that result.”

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