There is no finer feeling as a civil servant working in policy than making changes that have a positive impact on people’s lives. But it’s safe to assume I’ll not be doing any of that in the foreseeable future. The job of the civil service is to support the government of the day. Part of that responsibility is to have difficult conversations with politicians, to say we are the experts here and to advise politicians on what they do and don’t do. Right now those conversations are simply not happening.

On 13 July 2016, Theresa May, in her first public address as prime minister, said: “If you’re from an ordinary working-class family, life is much harder than many people in Westminster realise … If you’re one of those families, if you’re just managing, I want to address you directly ... the government I lead will be driven not by the interests of the privileged few, but by yours.”

Bold words. Two years on and what has really been done to set the country on this path or heal the rifts that the Brexit vote laid bare? The answer is precious little. The current government will point to the impossible challenge of removing the UK from the European Union coupled with a parliamentary arithmetic that means they can’t really do anything that requires controversial legislation. What this amounts to is a government that can’t govern.

Westminster is as inward looking as ever, and it is not only politicians who are to blame. Senior leaders within the civil service are just as focused on their own agendas and ambitions, even as most departments face severe restrictions on their finances. Headcounts have been reduced, civil servants are being encouraged to work outside the office to reduce costs and in some cases we are relying on recent graduates with no previous policy experience to deliver key government objectives.

Small policy changes that make little material difference are lauded as a triumph, while proper reform to help vulnerable people is completely absent. Changes don’t happen unless the policy makes a saving or there’s a challenge in the courts. The policy response to an existing problem is “let’s review it”. That is not the right response and that attitude can’t continue.

This is a toxic environment where every criticism is a crisis, where constant cabinet reshuffles mean civil servants have to start work on policies all over again. Fear is everywhere, and the default position is to “hold the line” and maintain everything is working as it should.

Special advisers lurk around every corner. Recently, I had to sit in front of a room full of some of the country’s most senior public servants and be shouted at by ministers as a result of defending current policy – their policy. “Official bashing” is a favourite tactic of this current set of ministers when faced with a hostile room.

Despite the stalemate, the demands placed on my time are excessive. I regularly work 60-hour weeks and at weekends. I take calls at the crack of dawn and late into the night. It’s no coincidence that my department now has massive mental health drives and “mindfulness” workshops. Enjoying a proper work life balance is a distant memory. And this is all in pursuit of maintaining the status quo; this is not governing in the interests of the people.

This series gives a voice to the staff behind the public services that are hit by mounting cuts and rising demand, and so often denigrated by the press, politicians and public. If you would like to write an article for the series, contact jane.dudman@theguardian.com.

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