Why would you openly wish bad things on people who are heavily armed?

Poor Eddie Vedder. He sucks! I never liked his ‘music’. He can’t sing and he has no real talent. Somehow he became very popular, but I’m not sure why. People mistook his mewling belches into the microphone as some sort of attempt at musicality. I always thought he never really achieved anything approaching art, but I didn’t realize he was also intellectually an idiot. Somehow that vindicates my opinion, I’ve decided.

“The fact that we’re living in a country where 90 percent of the people want further gun laws — to maybe somehow put a dent in some of this insanity that’s happening — and yet there’s no further legislation taking place, it’s very frustrating and upsetting,” Vedder said in an interview with surfer Mark Richards. Of course he wants more laws that our legislators won’t have to obey:

“I get so angry that I almost wish bad things upon these people,” Vedder said. “But I don’t have to because it seems like they happen anyways. It seems like every week I’m reading about a 4-year-old either shooting their sister, their dad, their dog, their brother or themselves, because there’s fucking guns laying around. But I guess it’s ‘fun.'”

No Eddie, what’s fun would be watching crowds of people take your worthless CD’s, put them in a pile, and blow them away with fully automatic weapons. Because that’s what we’d own if we lived in a free country. But instead we live in yours, where they are already illegal.

In my world however, legally married homosexual couples would guard their marijuana fields with fully automatic weapons. But I guess that’s too much crazy freedom for a guy like you?

You suck, Eddie.

-Liberty Biebs