



Goofus gets drunk on the UWS, takes an $80 cab ride home and then leaves his wallet in the backseat.

Gallant patiently waits for the C train.

—-

Goofus skips breakfast, works through lunch, downs a Red Bull before going out, then wolfs a takeout burrito that’s basically all sour cream and guacamole around midnight and spends the wee hours of the morning palming Tums.

Gallant orders Fresh Direct every weekend and spends Sunday night preparing his meals for the week.

—-

Goofus elbows people out of the way when he gets off the train and slams rudely through the emergency exit door, even though he doesn’t have to be anywhere and is just going home to watch Game of Thrones on DVR.

Gallant exits the subway station in a quiet and orderly fashion.

—-

Goofus tells girls on OKCupid he is “tired of the bar scene,” but then books three dates in one night at various LES bars, and tries to get to second with all of them.

Gallant is hoping to meet a wife through his tennis league or through his volunteer organization, but also might be open to trying eHarmony at some point in the future.