The internets are freaking out today because Taco Bell’s beef only contains 36% cowflesh. What’s the rest? Judging from the collective “OMG ew!” heard across the tubes, you’d think it was squid eyeballs, monkey nuts and boogers. What’s really in that “Taco Meat Filling”? Onion powder, tomato powder, salt, and *gasp* cocoa powder. The hell?

I am pondering:

A) Taco Bell’s “food” tastes like “ass”. Diners should be lucky it does not contain actual ass.

B) Gizmodo is worried about what’s in their food? As they lick the Cheeto dust off their fingers, scratch their balls and try to remember if they washed their hands after their mid-morning wank session?

C) If people really want to dive into the dirty details of the nasty shit all around and inside them, they should consider this:

That bad boy lives in your freakin’ EYELASHES. And it’s not even a bug, it’s a goddamn arachnid! That’s right boys and girls, an EYELASH SPIDER. Sleep tight.

Splendidly yours,

Trixie