With every rockstar of name and note dying or seemingly about to die this week the world has begrudgingly named Linkin Park singer Chester Bennington a rock legend.

Lorne Malwakey of the Rock N Roll Hall of Fame speaking on behalf of a committee that also included 'respected' journalists from Mojo, Uncut, Rolling Stone and NME magazines, board members from Sony, Universal and Virgin and Grammy Award winning douche bag Toby Keith said that while "Chester Bennington in a fair and just world where everyone and anyone that had ever played an instrument and or written a song and were over 40 were still alive or not about to die this week then Chester would never qualify for legend status"

However with the recent deaths of Lemmy Kilmeister, David Bowie, that twat from the Eagles and no doubt any other musician that we love, respect and admire also probably going die this week - Chester Bennington will remain as the only person in line to qualify as a Rock legend even though he most certainly isn't.

"Largely we have decided to name Chester Bennington a rock legend so that we may move the greats, our idols into hiding in our basements and attics." Malwakey said.

"Like those hiding Jewish friends/family during World War 2 we will be doing the same... Moving our heroes - Keith, Iggy, Ozzy etc into hiding away from death itself while then pointing the finger at those that remain on the surface like Chester Bennington or Lenny Kravitz and Dave Grohl. These newly appointed Rock legends will be our scape goats. Hopefully plans permitting the Grim Reaper will take Chad Kroeger and leave Ginger Baker this year. "

Malwakey further stated

"The best part is we can publicly say that we are planning this and they - the Chesters, Chads, Grohls etc still won't know what we actually plan to do with them as they will be so blinded by their inflated egos at the words Legend or Hero. Then once Ringo has finished penning his diary of being a young girl hiding in an attic and the Grim Reaper has satiated his need for death with some disposable humans we can release the true legends back into society to yet again frolic among us."