As an American viewer of Tottenham Hotspur, I constantly wonder if I truly am a fan of this club in a foreign land. I love this club with all my heart. My emotions for the day are largely controlled by the result of the game. I constantly fumble through twitter and sketchy blogs searching for the latest news on Spurs. And yet, I feel as though I am less of a supporter than those across the pond. I dream of the new stadium and the glory it will see, but I know that I will never get to experience that glory in person. The chants that I yell at home right along with ones coming through my television are not added to a chorus of noise, they only annoy my dog. I yearn for the walk up the fabled high road and into the stadium after a stop at the pub. I want to see the Lillywhites in all their glory but I am an ocean away.

Tottenham is a club that I have not supported for a long time. I am only 22 and football has only recently been broadcast in the states as much as it is now. As I could access it more and more, I fell in love with the plucky club from North London that seemed to always be the underdog. They were constantly told that they don’t belong in the elite. That they were a selling club. That they couldn’t afford to pay anyone with any talent. That they had not right to even dream of the Champions League let alone a Premier League title. Yet, this club of rejects kept fighting. They kept dreaming of a return to the success that happened long before I was born. They were done being the butt of the jokes. They were Tottenham Hotspur and they were going to kick your arse no matter what it took. I saw this club as the embodiment of my own struggles in life. I was the underdog, I was the laughing stock, I was Tottenham Hotspur.

Through it all I’ve always known that this was my club but now I wonder if I truly deserve to say that I support Spurs. I can’t be at the game. I can’t dig out Levy with my mates at the pub. I can’t sing the songs of praise for Pochettino or Dele or Sissoko as they walk off the pitch but damn all that! I am a fan! I am a supporter! I bleed blue and white! When I play a pickup game with my friends, they try to be Messi or Ronaldo, I want to play like Christian Eriksen! I am truly a fan of the only club that even matters! I am a fan of Tottenham Hotspur!