For those of you who have decided you want real vampire fangs, there are a variety of ways you can go about it, –and there are some results that might make it a little more undesirable than you had planned. We talked to a cosmetic dentist about getting real vampire fangs, and though he didn’t really condone it, being a Christian and all, he did explain the various methods you can go through to do it. In fact, he used my teeth as his demo board, –I was getting a filling. Yes, ladies, gentlemen, I actually discussed my work with my dentist; half numb, groggy, and with a stranger’s fingers in my mouth, –that’s how dedicated I am.

Do you want your fangs to be your -real- teeth? This is probably one of the least desirable, but also less expensive ways to get fangs. But it’s also the most permanent. If you can find a dentist who’ll do it, you can have your front teeth shortened and your canines filed. Keep in mind, this will take a while, and you’ll have fangs the rest of your life. So as a grandparent, you still might have fangs, –probably not conducive towards a good relationship with the little guys. The main probably with this method is just finding someone to do it for you. My dentist pretty much said this would be out of the question at his office.

The most expensive, and the second most permanent option, is to get crowns on your canines, –also known as ‘caps’. The difference between those $10 caps online, and actually getting crowns manufactured, is that you won’t be able to take these off. Furthermore, the cost will run you somewhere between $2000 to $5000, easily. It takes time and effort to expertly mold a replacement tooth. The other, easier option for getting synthetic, but real looking fangs, is using acrylic and the molding material they use to fill cavities. It’s less expensive, but least permanent option, –the dentist may insist you see him again to have it removed eventually, so that you never accidentally swallow it.

Swallowing a filling isn’t the worst side-effect of getting fangs though. Our mouths weren’t designed by nature to carry teeth that sharp and long. There are no significant side effects in the jaw, but it is possible to develop Malloclusion; overbite, or overjet of the upper front teeth. The dentist also warned that you can expect sores on the inside of your lower lip, where your new fangs would irritate the skin. Your fangs might also irritate your low gumline; close your mouth, and notice where the tips of your canines rest, –image longer, sharper teeth poking into your gums. Fairly unpleasant, no? Be sure to discuss length, and topical, over the counter anesthetic for possible sores with your dentist before getting permanent fangs.

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