MINNEAPOLIS (The Borowitz Report)—In a possible setback for the Administration’s controversial drone policy, a new poll conducted by the University of Minnesota shows that a broad majority of Americans are opposed to being killed by a drone strike on U.S. soil.

The poll, which has a margin of error of plus or minus five percentage points, showed that ninety-seven per cent of those surveyed “strongly agreed” with the statement, “I personally do not want to be killed by a drone,” with three per cent responding, “Don’t know/No opinion.”

“There’s no other way to interpret these numbers,” said the University of Minnesota’s Davis Logsdon, who oversaw the survey. “The idea of being killed by a drone is not playing well out there.”

And while the poll numbers may not augur well for the Administration’s expanding use of drones, the response was even more negative in a focus group of likely drone victims.

One member of that group, a forty-three-year-old male from St. Paul, complained that “it doesn’t even seem like the government is trying to come up with alternatives to killing us with drones.”

“It seems like they could figure out some kind of system where instead of just being killed by a drone, people could maybe present evidence to see if they’re guilty or not,” he said.

At the White House, spokesman Jay Carney tried to make the best of the poll results, telling reporters, “Look, people are afraid of getting killed by a drone. We get that. But there is still broad public support for drones killing somebody else.”

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Illustration by Mai/Time Life Pictures/Getty.