Megan Lowder: PTSD from previous assault reason she left the 'Big Brother' house early

Xochitl Pena | Palm Springs Desert Sun

Show Caption Hide Caption Megan Lowder on "Big Brother" Megan Lowder, a Cathedral City High School graduate, was on season 19 of "Big Brother" and talks about her early departure. (June 30, 2017)

Megan Lowder had high hopes for herself on the show, but her anxiety got the best of her and the Cathedral City graduate decided to exit the "Big Brother" house early, becoming the second houseguest to leave.

In an interview with The Desert Sun Friday, Lowder shared the reason behind her decision to leave the house early.

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“When I was stationed in Norfolk, Virginia, I was sexually assaulted and I got really bad PTSD from it,” said Lowder who served in the Navy.

“So in the house… I had a lot of guys yelling at me and attacking me and it started really affecting me and making my anxiety severe and I was starting to get physically ill. I was throwing up, I had diarrhea, I was nauseous all the time.”

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News of Lowder leaving the home hit the internet Friday as live feed watchers, able to tune in Thursday evening, noticed her absence. Some houseguests were also talking about a brouhaha involving Lowder.

The voyeuristic show, in its 19th season, had a two-day premiere on Wednesday and Thursday, which both featured Lowder.

Fans just watching the pre-recorded televised shows though, won't see Lowder leave until the next episode on Sunday.

On Thursday's episode Josh Martinez is seen yelling at Lowder following the competition for "head of household." During that competition, Josh snags a golden apple which keeps him safe from elimination but takes his four-person team out of the running and vulnerable for elimination – a move many consider selfish.

When Lowder innocently asks who grabbed the golden apple, Josh unleashes on her calling her a "snake" and "bully."

“I don’t want nothing to do with you in this game. I love everybody but you. And I wanted to make it very clear … everybody has a good heart here and you’re a snake and a bully and I’m done with you,” he tells her.

Later in the day he calls her out again in front of everyone saying the way she plays the game is “disgusting” and accuses her of gunning for him. He later apologizes and she forgives him, but said she won't forget.

Then Cody Nickson, who wins head of household, nominates Lowder and Jillian Parker for potential elimination. He says he picked Megan just because he doesn’t like her.

“I have no idea still to this day, (I) do not know why he went after me like that,” Lowder said of Martinez. “Cody did as well and Mark (Jansen), but Mark wasn’t as bad.”

Lowder said there were a lot of rumors circulating as to why she left the show, including one false rumor about her making a racist remark.

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“I read a lot of the stuff that people were saying about me. I never made a racial comment,” said Lowder. In fact, she said she was the one who heard another house guest call another female contestant a “Panda” and shared with that person what she heard.

Online reports based on the live feed said Lowder told Alex Ow that Jessica Graf had called her a panda, but Ow accuses Lowder of lying about the remark.

“I could have heard wrong, it’s entirely possible, but I was already talking to them about wanting to leave before that and so at that point I knew I couldn’t handle it anymore and I went into the diary room where I started having a panic attack and they wound up taking me to the hospital a couple hours later,” said Lowder.

Lowder said it was a mutual decision to leave. She spent a couple days in the hospital and is now in Cathedral City with family. She had moved from the desert to Phoenix in December and plans to return eventually for school.

“I was expecting to have one of the funnest summers of my life. I did have fun. I had a great time until all that just got the best of me,” she said.

As a show superfan she said she feels like she let other fans down by leaving early.

“It was my own issues that lead to everything, it wasn’t anyone else’s fault,” she said. “Without my stuff going on I probably could have handled things very, very differently and been fine but I just couldn’t.”

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