Dir: Dean Israelite; Starring: Dacre Montgomery, Naomi Scott, RJ Cyler, Ludi Lin, Becky G. (Rebecca Gomez), Elizabeth Banks, Bryan Cranston. 12A cert, 124 mins.

The Power Rangers are sexting, if you’re wondering what they’re up to nowadays. They’re slut-shaming too. They’re also talking about inserting crayons into bodily orifices and pleasuring farmyard animals. If you think that last one’s an exaggeration, buy a ticket. Five minutes in, you’ll come face to ashen face with the all-mooing, all-hoof-stomping truth.

Quite who thought a graphic joke about "milking" a bull would be a promising start to a Power Rangers film is anyone’s guess (the screenplay is credited to five different people). But there’s no doubt it sets the tone for what must be the most flabbergastingly misconceived reboot of recent years. Never mind 2015’s Fantastic Four, which became a mangled shadow of its cast and crew’s original intentions en route to the screen. Power Rangers may actually be like this on purpose.