When I first told my friends I was dating an actual Christian, they were all uppity about it: "Well, you have to respect someone's religious views." But when I mentioned he was abstaining from bedroom business for devout reasons, all of a sudden he was a total weirdo in their eyes (I'm patting myself on the back right now for being so open-minded). At first, it was a refreshing -- almost romantic! -- change from the norm, which usually involves the guy trying to seal that deal as soon as possible. But slowly, a feeling of insecurity started creeping over me:

Do I have a double chin?

Is he gay?

Am I really dating a 40-year-old virgin?

I know this all sounds rather hopeless, but the thing is, I love him. We can talk for hours about anything. He is funny and kind. He speaks better French than I do and lets me win at Scrabble. He is a great kisser, a great conversationalist -- he even writes me poems. He watched Twilight with me sans complaint and gets what I see in Edward. He is communicative and sensitive (ladies, isn't this what we want?) and treats me like I'm something sacred. He would be a loving, patient father and says he will work hard for the rest of his life so that I can live like a princess.

Some days, when we ignore the elephant in the room, I think, wow, this is it. But then, somehow, his Christianity will snake back into our relationship, resulting in heated, teary discussions about how we'd raise children. He wants to take them to church every Sunday to "help them understand the love of God." I tell him I don't want our children to be brainwashed and if he takes them to church one Sunday, he has to take them to a mosque the next weekend, and then to a temple, etc. -- to expose them to all the world's religions so they can decide for themselves what they believe in, if anything at all.

Sometimes it just feels like we're on different plains of existence.

Here's a sliver of the type of conversation we've had more than once:

"Jesus used to say..." (boyfriend says)

"Please don't quote Jesus. You know it makes me uncomfortable." (me, all squirmy)

"I wish you would open your mind a bit more. You would be such a powerful Christian woman..." (him, being sincere)

"You'll never convert me! I wish you would read Dawkins!" (me, in near tears)

"Jesus's love for me is real." (him, unwavering)

"I wish you would read Hitchens!" (me, in near tears)

"Jesus sacrificed for us. All of us." (him, unwavering)

"You love him more than me." (me, in tears)

"I do. I can't help it." (him, pious)

I do feel, in general, we are -- and are entitled to be -- harsher on our partner's views than with someone who isn't going to raise children with us, i.e. the checkout guy at CVS. My boyfriend says I have a visceral reaction to anything Christian, but it's because deep down, I know he wants to proselytize me. He's even admitted he hopes I'll "come around." I get so defensive and angry, I start throwing out obtuse generalizations like "religion has oppressed women for centuries!" to which he replies: "If you look at the way Jesus was portrayed in the Bible, he was the most radical empowerer of women of all time." He may be right (it's been a while since I perused the Good Book), but I'd still like to let out a long sigh here.