Even the best of relationships aren’t always the healthiest ones—whether that's due to your shared love of dining out, your Sunday night football-and-wings routine, or your fall-back habit of splitting a bottle of wine every other night.

“Relationships and weight gain often go hand in hand,” says Florida-based registered dietitian Jaime Mass, R.D., who frequently works with couples to get them on a healthy trajectory. “The sooner you can set healthy habits together, the better. But wherever you are in your relationship, it isn’t too late to start.”

Here, we share the four stages of relationship weight gain—and how to take control wherever you are in yours.

Christine Frapech

Why You’re Gaining: You’re getting drinks every night, and never saying no to a shared dessert.

What To Do About It: While skipping the breadbasket, limiting your drinks, and looking up healthy menu items online ahead of time can definitely help limit the impact, it’s also worth considering branching out from the standard “let’s get dinner or drinks” date. “What you do at the beginning of a relationship sets the stage and the tone for the long-haul,” Mass says. So take a healthy cooking class together, try out a couple’s yoga class, or just take a long stroll through a museum.

Christine Frapech

Why You’re Gaining: You’re spending all of your time together—meeting each other’s families over brunch, going on weekend trips together, and swapping life stories on the couch over a bottle of wine—and don’t have time to cook or hit the gym.

What To Do About It: “Pay attention to any of your former priorities taking a backseat,” she says. “Being passionate about your hobbies, dedicated and committed to different causes, motivated to hit the gym, full of life and energy—these things are part of who you are! So, don’t give them up so easily!”

That may mean inviting him to your favorite cycling class or letting him know that your “me time” is non-negotiable, she says. Put it first on your to-do list, and schedule in relationship stuff from there. It’s okay to be a bulldog about giving your body what it needs. All pounds aside, when you feel energetic, healthy, and good about yourself, that’s when you make the best companion.

Make this deliciously healthy ceviche for your next date night in or party appetizer:

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Christine Frapech

Why You’re Gaining: Your kitchen is suddenly filled with beer and sugar-laced cereals that you haven’t eaten since you were five.

What To Do About It: “Who you spend your time with overflows into all parts of who you are and eating behaviors are no different. 'You are the company you keep' is a rule I live by; and interestingly enough the research supports this notion when it comes to eating habits as well,” Mass says. “That is a scary thought but a very real one.”

Take steps to make sure that you both don’t infect each other with your unique less-than-healthy habits. “If you know that you can’t control yourself with chips in the house, then make it clear that chips are not allowed in your home when you move in together,” she says. “There may be some foods that he loves that he feels that way about as well, so those foods can be kept out of the home or only purchased in single servings and enjoyed individually or together.”

Apart from trigger foods, it pays to take a look at any other unhealthy practices that could easily become regular habits, such as watching TV during meals, eating dessert in bed, or celebrating with food. Decide together what’s off limits or needs to be kept to a minimum, she says. It’s for your own good (and your partner's).

Christine Frapech

Why You’re Gaining: You’re busy beyond belief. “Let’s just order in” becomes a common refrain, and you can’t remember the last time you tried to exercise without having a toddler crawl all over you. (You only need 18 minutes to torch fat, get fit, and look and feel great with Women's Health's All in 18 DVD!)

What To Do About It: Think beyond the day-to-day madness and have a conversation with your partner about how you want each of your habits to play out in the long-term for you and your family, Mass suggests. How do you want to feel physically and emotionally—and is your current routine helping you get there? What example do you want to set for your children?

“Have an honest conversation together and remember that it isn’t about being on a “diet” together, it’s about making an effort instead to create healthy habits as a family,” she says. Simple ideas to take steps in that direction include taking post-dinner family walks, getting started with meal prep or meal-delivery services to make healthy cooking less time-consuming and teaching your kids to like “grown-up” foods, rather than serving breaded chicken tenders and fries whenever they ask. Also consider asking your partner to pitch in more around the house to help free up your schedule, and either having someone watch the kids so you can get in your workouts or joining a gym that offers childcare.

K. Aleisha Fetters, M.S., C.S.C.S., is Chicago-based certified strength and conditioning specialist, training clients both in-person and online.

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