Ladies, I know it’s tough being single, but remember to never for settle for less.

Find you a man who makes you feel special. Find you a man who never stops thinking about you. Find you a man who is as obsessed with you as Donald Trump is with Hillary Clinton.

Find you a man who constantly tweets about you and gives you adorable pet names like “Crooked.” Find you a man who’s so kinky that he constantly talks about how he wants to “lock you up.”

Trump still isn’t over Hillary not winning the election. He can’t listen to his “Summer 2016 ❤️” playlist without being reminded of her. Every night he blasts romantic songs from a boombox outside her window.

He waxes nostalgic about the golden days. When he got to be around her all the time and have debate dates. When he was having fun and comfortably assumed that he would never actually become president.

If she won, he would have gotten to go back to pooping in a gold toilet and living in a giant mansion with robot butlers made of diamonds. But now he has to live in the White House and poop in a normal toilet like a fuckin Amish person.

Trump went from having multiple mansions to living in a rough neighborhood in DC, this new house is so tiny that it may as well be a goddamn cardboard box. Now he only has a few dozen TVs, and he can’t even binge watch How I Met Your Mother ’cause Jeff Sessions changed the Netflix password just to be a dick.

Trump wouldn’t have to live in that dump and do a job he hates if Hillary just won the election. She’s the one that got away. Every day he looks at her Instagram and gets sad that she’s already moved on. He drunkenly texts her “u up?” at 2am at least 3 times a week.

His boys tell him that one day he’ll find another candidate, they’ve even made him download Tinder and OkCandidate, but he just can’t quit Hillary.

Trump constantly tweets about Hillary and mentions her in speeches. Every woman deserves a man who gives her that kind of non-stop attention.

It’s the most romantic thing I’ve ever seen.