In a completely ridiculous scenario, a nine year old boy who had boasted to a classmate that he could make him vanish has himself disappeared from class. Fourth grader, Allen Steward was suspended when he had allegedly made a “terrorist threat”, telling another child that he could turn him invisible with the power of the completely fictional One Ring according to the Odessa American . Try telling that to clueless school officials though.

“It sounded unbelievable,” dad Jason Steward tells the New York Daily News, maintaining that his son “didn’t mean anything by it.”

Little Aiden and the family had seen The Hobbit: Battle of The Five Armies just the weekend before. His father said that his son had simply been using his imagination, something that would be completely stamped out of his system after this episode. “Kids act out movies that they see. When I watched Superman as a kid, I went outside and tried to fly,” Steward says, adding, “I assure you my son lacks the magical powers necessary to threaten his friend’s existence. If he did, I’m sure he’d bring him right back.”

The principle of the school, Roxanne Greer, did not see things in the same way however (I wonder who has a wilder imagination, the kid pretending to disappear friends or the grown-ass adult who thinks the said kid is a menace to society?). According to Aiden’s father, Greer had told him that any threat to another child’s safety would be intolerable, even though it was clearly an imaginary non-threat to anybody. The principle kept a tight upper lip on the matter, insisting that, “All student stuff is confidential.” What about all delusional-principle stuff? Kermit Independent School District Superintendent Bill Boyd didn’t return requests for comment.

According to the Texas Education Code, mandatory leave of this kind “may not exceed three school days”. Meaning Aiden was returned to school within the week. His family is now used to the ordeal; this is the boy’s third suspension, the first for referring to a fellow student as “black” according to the New York Daily News and the second for bringing “The Big Book of Knowledge” to his school. The book apparently had a picture of a pregnant woman, oh my, how obscene! “He loves that book,” says the dad. “They were studying the solar system and he took it to school. He thought his teacher would be impressed.” Guess again, kiddo. Public schools: Made by drones, managed by drones, taught by drones and guaranteed to turn your kids into drones too.

In another ridiculous twist to this story, although the Stewards (and myself, obviously) do not agree that Aiden’s actions had in any way warranted suspension, the principle was actually within her rights to issue it if she truly believed that Aiden’s classmate’s “emotional health” had been affected.

Texas’ Education students code includes suspension as a means of “preventing and intervening in student discipline problems, including bullying, harassment, and making hit lists.” Under these guidelines harassment is defined as: “threatening to cause harm or bodily injury to another student, engaging in sexually intimidating conduct, causing physical damage to the property of another student, subjecting another student to physical confinement or restraint, or maliciously taking any action that substantially harms another student’s physical or emotional health or safety.” So I guess name-calling, dodge ball and any form of Physical Education would fall under the purview of impacting emotional health? Oh, what about detention? Actually, school itself is emotional torture for thousands of kids, can we suspend the school?

According to the US Departments of Education and Justice, last year was the “Discipline Guideline Package to Enhance School Climate and Improve School Discipline Policies/Practices.” Usage of expulsion and suspension as a tool of discipline is becoming too prevalent.

“Too many schools are still struggling to create positive, safe environments,” reads a press release for the material, issued Jan. 8, 2014. “Effective teaching and learning cannot take place unless students feel safe at school,” levels U.S. Secretary of Education Arne Duncan. “Positive discipline policies can help create safer learning environments without relying heavily on suspensions and expulsions. Schools also must understand their civil rights obligations and avoid unfair disciplinary practices. We need to keep students in class where they can learn.”

Even preschoolers are getting suspended, according to the U.S. Department of Education, which admits that such disciplinary measures have a life-long debilitating impact on students. “Research suggests that school expulsion and suspension practices are associated with negative educational and life outcomes,” the policy statement on expulsion and suspension policies in early childhood settings reveals. “Suspension and expulsion can influence a number of adverse outcomes across development, health, and education. Young students who are expelled or suspended are as much as 10 times more likely to drop out of high school, experience academic failure and grade retention, hold negative school attitudes, and face incarceration than those who are not.” Yup, I know this is bad, you know this is bad, the government knows that this is bad. Yet nothing changes. I’m sure if we keep our mouths shut we’ll not get suspended for potentially causing emotional harm to our elected representatives, and they’ll use that Lord of The Rings magic that scares them so much to fix everything.

As good old Albert E. once said, “Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited to all we now know and understand, while imagination embraces the entire world, and all there ever will be to know and understand”. Don’t let them quash the dreams of another kid.