We imagine Steven Stamkos approached this new Coke commercial as his big break into the acting world; one memorable performance by the Tampa Bay Lightning sniper in this recreation of a junior player’s true story, and Hollywood would come calling for all the roles that Owen Wilson’s now too old to play.

Alas, poor Stammer, there is another breakthrough performance in this advertisement.

No, it’s not Jordan Eberle, who comes off as a less emotive Steve Dangle. It’s the venerable Bob McKenzie of TSN as “Bob The Zamboni Driver”:

McKenzie combines the winking whimsy of a Sir Alec Guinness with the gravitas of Daniel Day Lewis. You believe him when he says the son should have been traded sooner. You believe he’s the sage of the community rink. You believe that he is that Zamboni driver who fancies himself a hockey insider.

(Come to think of it, “Bob The Zamboni Driver” is probably that guy who has a Twitter feed and just reprints everything the real Bob McKenzie reports to look like a fancy-pants.)

Shine up that Emmy (or the Canadian equivalent) for Bob McKenzie. Better luck next time, Stamkos. We hear RC Cola’s hiring …