Directed by: Neil Marshall

Runtime: 121 minutes

Before reviewing this film, I feel like I have to admit something. After multiple attempts, I have never been able to sit through Guillermo Del Toro’s critically acclaimed Hellboy (2004). There was no reason in particular for this, I just was never really that interested. I’m prefacing my review with this, almost shameful fact, as I am aware that a lot of reviews will be comparing this 2019 reboot with Del Toro’s original venture. Despite my disinterest in the franchise, I was aware of how beloved the first entry was, and while it is almost unfair to compare any filmmaker with Guillermo Del Toro, I feel like this film is going to struggle to step out of its predecessors’ shadow.

This time, Hellboy (David Harbour) is a younger, more troubled demon-spawn who has to navigate his identity crisis while dealing with the forces of evil. After a Nimue (Milla Jovovich), a sexy Arthurian blood-witch, gets reassembled, he must smash some monsters and kick some ass to save the world. The plot is, for the most part, strange and oddly paced. Firstly, the story wants us to feel sympathetic to monsters when, for the most part, any creature except for Hellboy is completely evil. Furthermore, the plot seems to just push our titular character from place to place, slaying monster upon monster, at a speed so lightning fast it is hard to wrap your head around at points.

However, what I will say is that this film is balls-to-the-wall, batshit insane. We have a bunch of dudes dressed as medieval knights who slay giants with electric spears, we have a Scouser pig-man that has a vendetta because he couldn’t swap places with a baby, we have a leopard were-monster, and flashbacks that are so exposition-heavy it is almost laughable. The music is always cranked up to 100, with crazy guitar music blasting as Hellboy slices and dices through foe after foe. There is a lot of blood alongside entrails and stray body parts. Really, this is a film that should have received a completely slamming review from me but, unlike with Del Toro’s more (let’s face it) competent work, I found myself hooked throughout this shambles.

Really, I had fun. Ian McShane, playing Hellboy’s adoptive father, is as Ian McShane-y as ever, and I adored him in every scene. David Harbour brings a decent amount of personality to the main hero, and there are some interesting monster designs and creative moments peppered throughout. Sure, this thing won’t win any Oscars, but it is a slice-em and dice-em-style piece of absolute madness that is quite endearing to watch. A lot of the time the CGI is quite crappy, the British accents are laughably bad, and the themes the movie is trying to explore don’t really match the coding in the text itself. However, this is an R-Rated violence-fuelled bonanza, not a Guillermo Del Toro dark fairytale so I can allow myself to recommend this film positively to anyone who just wants to have a bit of fun. In essence, I found this film rather like a greasy McDonalds breakfast—sometimes it tastes like shit, but when you are hungover and mostly braindead, it hits just the right spot.