Wilfred Zee is a 31-year-old family lawyer from Brisbane.

He has two sons, a two-year-old and an eight-month-old.

He also has postnatal anxiety.

"When our second kid came along, even during the pregnancy, I became really anxious about everything and it just got worse after he was born," Mr Zee said.

"I'd be unreasonably stressed and worried about simple things — easily distracted and losing concentration."

While online one night he came across a website devoted to providing advice and support for fathers.

"I took a stress test and from the results it basically advised I should go see a GP right away," he said.

"Without reading the website, I wouldn't have known men can get perinatal (meaning during pregnancy or after) depression or anxiety.

"It's not something you expect but the stats are pretty full on."

Expectations on fathers go unrecognised

According to Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia (PANDA), one in 10 men will suffer depression and or anxiety during or after their partner's pregnancy.

PANDA chief executive Terri Smith said the condition was one of the "best kept secrets".

"What men tell us — and there's some really solid research out there — is that dads feel they want to be the rock in that family," she said.

"They expect they should hold the family solid through the transition, that they'll be there to support the partner and the baby, and all of those things can add up to quite big pressures.

"And if they're unwell they feel really badly about claiming that space when their partner's been through that entire experience of giving birth.

"So it's tough with very, very little recognition."

Recovering comes in all shapes and sizes

For Mr Zee it was especially difficult telling his wife — who had postnatal depression herself.

"When our first child was born my wife suffered quite a severe physical injury through the delivery, and she struggled a lot from that - physically and then mentally and emotionally too," he said.

"And when my wife is more stressed and struggling with things it made me worse.

"It was very much linked, even though it shouldn't have been and I was unreasonably catastrophising the situation.

"But I didn't want her to think that I was blaming her."

Working with a psychologist and blogging about his experiences has helped Mr Zee recover.

And since taking indefinite leave to be home and help out with the kids he has also discovered just how hard - and rewarding - full-time parenting can be.

"It's not something I ever thought I'd be doing, but 100 per cent would not swap it for anything," he said.

"With my first one I missed out on those milestones, whereas this time I've been here and it's been a huge blessing to be part of that."

Father's suffering can be difficult for women to understand

Israel Smith snorkelling with his wife Belinda and their children Indrani and Rilien. ( Facebook: Israel Smith )

According to PANDA, men with partners suffering from postnatal anxiety or depression are more at risk, however it can be that the father may suffer alone.

For 39-year-old Israel Smith from Coogee, New South Wales, this meant crippling loneliness at times.

The professional photographer said while his wife Belinda took parenting his now 11-year-old daughter and six-year-old son in her stride, he struggled after his son was born.

"On a bad day I'd just break down and end up leaving the office and sit in the lounge room crying, curled into a ball on the floor," he said.

Israel Smith was diagnosed with paternal postnatal depression after the birth of his second child. ( Facebook: Israel Smith )

"They were the days where it was really horrible for me and I couldn't see a light at the end of the tunnel.

"I just felt like it was all bad and there were no positives and there was no way forward for the future."

His diagnosis of postnatal depression was almost welcomed.

"The biggest thing for me when I was first diagnosed was this overwhelming sense of relief that I wasn't alone," he said.

"And discovering there was treatment available gave me confidence that there was a way out of the funk."

Mr Smith placed medication as a last resort so tried other things first — changing his diet and lifestyle and slowing down at work.

That meant stepping back slightly from the photography company he and his wife had built in the previous seven years, which he said was difficult for her to deal with initially.

But he said she understood why it was necessary.

"In the end she realised she could live without the business, she couldn't live without me," Mr Smith said.

"With her by my side and in my corner I found a way through and I started to come good again within probably six months.

"Within a year I was feeling more or less back to normal and starting to think about what happens next in our life as a family, I wasn't just treading water anymore I was making forward plans.

"But it all came from that moment I admitted there was something wrong, that little step of being vulnerable and opening up was the piece that then allowed the healing to begin."

If you or your partner need help call PANDA on 1300 726 306