Across the United States, sex education curriculum is severely lacking. Many receive abstinence-only education, which can leave out important things like the emotional aspects of sex, how to use protection, and that it is not only normal to have sex, but normal to seek pleasure from sex.

I grew up in a small town in Oklahoma and my sex education did not prepare me at all. In middle school, I was asked to sign an abstinence pledge. In high school, the only time I heard anything about the LGBTQ community was when we watched a video on HIV/AIDS. I felt alone. I was a closeted queer and trans person who had no idea how to voice what felt good. Because I never heard the term transgender during sex education, I thought that there was something wrong with me for not feeling like a girl.

I am certainly not alone in my experiences as a transgender person feeling like an outsider in discussions surrounding sex. So, I talked to 12 transgender people from across the country about their experience with sex education and how curriculum can improve to be more inclusive of transgender bodies.

Include Education Specific for Transgender People

Most sex education curriculum is geared specifically toward cisgender, straight people. As such, transgender people are not getting information that is necessary for their own bodies and sexual experiences.

Not all transgender people experience gender dysphoria, but for those who do, it can be very difficult to have sex at all. Val Wiestner of Alhambra, California, said that a discussion of gender dysphoria in sex education courses would be helpful for cis- and transgender people alike.

“I think it would be amazing for these classes to include things like gender dysphoria. As a trans man…I have found myself having to explain over and over about my body and why I do not like certain things,” he said. Liam Gillin, a student at Marist College, echoed a similar statement. “Something I wish I had learned in sex education was more about how you can stay safe as someone who was [assigned female at birth] and LGBTQ+, and more about how to alleviate gender dysphoria during sexual activity.”

Genitals Don’t Equal Gender

Often, students are separated into two groups (by gender) for their sex education. This can mean students are not getting holistic or accurate education on body parts and bodily functions. When we separate students by their assumed genitalia for sex education, we are reinforcing the idea that genitals are equal to gender, and that there is no difference between sex and gender. This is a bioessentialist viewpoint, teaching people that gender is biological, rather than a cultural construction.

“My experience with sex education was, being in Oklahoma, abysmal,” Aileen Gibson, a student at the University of Oklahoma, said. “While I was taught about safe sex once, the majority of it was awful. The ‘boys’ learned only about the ‘male’ reproductive system, ‘female’ secondary sex characteristics, and what a ‘male’ orgasm looked like. I didn’t even know what a tampon was until sophomore year of high school, (which I had to look up because I had no clue).”

By educating students in a less binary-centric format, transgender youth could find more validation and acceptance from themselves and their peers.

“One of the easiest ways for sex ed curriculums to be more inclusive is to drop the outdated language of ‘female body parts versus male body parts’ and teach everyone about the human body together while acknowledging the vast array of intersex people whose anatomy may not fit into the simple, standard boxes of male and female,” said University of Michigan student Elijah Haswell. “My uterus is not a ‘female body part.’ It’s just that — a uterus.”