For a supposedly prudish people, you have to wonder where conservatives got all those pearl necklaces, but between Lena Dunham‘s virginity allegory and President Obama‘s accurately off-color description of Republican nominee Mitt Romney in Rolling Stone, they have been clutching at them with “Would you please pass the jelly”-esque faintiness. On Friday night’s The Last Word, host Lawrence O’Donnell turned up the clutch factor by reminding Republicans that their messiah, Ronald Reagan, once used the same metaphor that Dunham did, only maybe a good deal gayer.

In his “Rewrite” segment, O’Donnell wades through some of the fainting-couch conservative reactions to the button-pushing ad that Girls creator and star Lena Dunham cut for President Obama’s reelection campaign, my favorite of which was Will Cain of CNN’s Starting Point saying he was “offended as a woman,” a reaction that was almost as funny and original as the ad itself. Less intentionally funny, though, was Slut Not-Whisperer Rush Limbaugh‘s offense on behalf of the women he views as freeloading sex criminals because they want contraception to be covered under the insurance that they pay for. They both missed the point, but at least Cain did so earnestly, and funnily.

Then, O’Donnell got to the punchline that liberal commentators have been enjoying since the Lena Dunham Threat To Morality emerged, the fact that the late President Ronald Reagan once made essentially the same joke. Lawrence, of course, took that bit of information… there. “Today’s uncomfortable fact,” O’Donnel said, “that when he was running for president, Ronald Reagan told a double-entendre joke that ingeniously included, within its overall double-entendre structure, an internal double-entendre that allows for both straight and gay endendres.”

I don’t want to ruin Reagan’s joke if you haven’t heard it yet:





Speaking into what appeared to be the cheapest CB radio handset at the Radio Shack, Reagan said, “Listen, I know what it’s like you pull that Republican lever for the first time, because I used to be a Democrat myself. and I could tell you, it only hurts for a minute. And then you’ll feel just great.”

“Oh, my,” Lawrence said, “did you get all those entendres? Ronald Reagan just told you that it only hurts for a minute and then you’ll feel just great. Now, I don’t think we have to decide whether Ronald Reagan intended that to be a straight or gay entendre. The guy was a Hollywood actor. He had seen it all. And he knew, there is never, never a joke that has too many entendres.”

The suggestion that Ronald Reagan “had seen it all” is sure to send conservatives reaching for those glistening pearl necklaces, but whether Reagan’s joke was gay, straight, or both, the real point here is that no matter who you are, when you pull that Republican lever, you’re also going to get the shaft.

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