



Breastfeeding.





Now, don’t get me wrong. I am absolutely pro-breastfeeding. I believe women should be able to nurse their babies pretty much whenever, wherever they want to without any objection from anyone.





But that’s not all I believe. See, I tried my damnedest to breastfeed my first son. But, after a few weeks, the kid wasn’t gaining weight. In fact, he had started to LOSE weight. After a frantic trip to the pediatrician, hours of pumping at all times of day and night, and more money than I care to think about spent on a lactation consultant, we came to realize something: I couldn’t effectively feed my baby with my breasts. (And believe me, when a lactation consultant tells you to give up breastfeeding, you know your tatas just don’t have the goods.)





Poor, miserable, formula-fed baby I cannot tell you how horrible I felt in those first few weeks that we started feeding Matthew formula. I just knew that I had failed as a woman and a mother. It seemed that every time I logged onto my online new mother’s support group, or got on facebook, or even just opened my favorite gossip magazine, I was hit over the head with the message: BREAST IS BEST! FORMULA IS EVIL! YOU ARE A BAD MOM IF YOU DON’T BREASTFEED YOUR BABY! (You know what’s really evil? Supermodel I cannot tell you how horrible I felt in those first few weeks that we started feeding Matthew formula. I just knew that I had failed as a woman and a mother. It seemed that every time I logged onto my online new mother’s support group, or got on facebook, or even just opened my favorite gossip magazine, I was hit over the head with the message: BREAST IS BEST! FORMULA IS EVIL! YOU ARE A BAD MOM IF YOU DON’T BREASTFEED YOUR BABY!(You know what’sevil? Supermodel Gisele Bundchen spouting crap about how breastfeeding should be a “law.”)





This attitude has got to stop. Yes, breast milk is best for babies. There is no denying that. But we are so lucky to live in a time where technology has provided us with a substitute for breast milk that is almost just as good. Not only is it almost as good, it is a nutritious, healthy, perfectly FINE way to feed babies. My boys both thrived on formula—they hit their milestones right on time, they had matching height and weight percentiles, they are intelligent, caring, wonderful little human beings. If I hadn’t had formula to feed them (or a live-in wet nurse, I guess), they literally would not have survived their infancies.





People have asked me, “But, didn’t you miss the bonding breastfeeding provides?” After I take a few deep breaths and convince myself not to punch them in the throat, I explain that bottle-feeding can be just as bonding as breastfeeding. I’ve done both: I know that I can snuggle, kiss, and gaze at my baby if there’s a boob OR a bottle in his mouth. (I can also watch “Grey’s Anatomy” either way, and I did that sometimes, too.) And guess what? If I want the ever-important “skin-to-skin contact” that breastfeeding provides babies and mothers? I can take my shirt off and rock that bottle with the twins hanging free and loose. Been there, done that (lucky for everyone, only in the privacy of my own home).





New mothers choose formula for a host of different reasons. Some, like me, can’t breastfeed. Some have to go back to work and can’t fit pumping in to their schedules. Some find breastfeeding painful or uncomfortable. Some need more than 3-4 hours of sleep in a row. Some just plain don’t like it. But guess what? None of that matters. We should support mothers who FEED THEIR BABIES, which, as it turns out, is pretty much all mothers.





We need to stop shaming mothers for choosing formula over breast milk and focus on other things that actually have a major impact on babies’ lives. Let’s put our time and energy into educating parents about SIDS, for example. Babies DIE from SIDS. Or how about helping new parents learn about car seat safety? Babies in improperly installed car seats can DIE in an auto accident. DRINKING FORMULA DOES NOT KILL BABIES.





What can I say? Must be the formula we fed him... The thing is, I am all for supporting new moms who want to breastfeed. I am even all for encouraging reluctant moms to give it a try. I think new moms should have easy access to help and advice from experts who can make those first few weeks of breastfeeding, which are often the hardest, easier. I don’t think hospitals should send home formula samples unless parents ask for them, and I don’t think maternity ward nurses should feed babies formula without their parents’ consent. But I also think women should not be made to feel embarrassed or ashamed if they choose formula. The thing is, I am all for supporting new moms who want to breastfeed. I am even all for encouraging reluctant moms to give it a try. I think new moms should have easy access to help and advice from experts who can make those first few weeks of breastfeeding, which are often the hardest, easier. I don’t think hospitals should send home formula samples unless parents ask for them, and I don’t think maternity ward nurses should feed babies formula without their parents’ consent. But I also think women should not be made to feel embarrassed or ashamed if they choose formula.









Thanks for reading! Please click here to go back to the voting page and vote for Crazed in the Kitchen! So, yes, I am pro-breastfeeding. But I am also pro-formula feeding. In fact, I like to say that I am PRO-FEEDING. Feed your babies. Feed them something that will allow them to grow and thrive, like breast milk or formula. And the next time you see a woman with a new baby at the pediatrician’s office, preschool drop-off, or, God help her, the grocery store, give her a smile. Tell her that her baby is beautiful. Tell her she is doing a great job. Because chances are good that she is feeding her baby…probably many times a day and at least once or twice at night. And THAT’S all that matters.

From the Judges:

Not long ago on my blog, I shared my indecision about tryingfor a third child . Despite the lack of sleep, I always look back on my boys’ baby years fondly; the late-night snuggles, the milestones, learning our new family member’s personality. But there is one part of those baby years that brings back more bad memories than good:Very brave choice of topic. I like the way you used your personal experience to make your argument. There were a few typos, but they were easily overlooked by your well-written post. Nice job!Nice job.It's a touchy topic. One that I have written about in the past. I am all for a woman breastfeeding whenever or wherever they want without people butting in with their two cents. Women should be free to breastfeed on a crowded subway or bottle feed in the comfort of their own home. It's their choice and their choice alone!Your passion for the topic showed. Good post.I don't pretend to speak for anyone, let alone a large group of women. But I am willing to bet most if not all moms who chose not to breastfeed for whatever reason would read this and say, "thank you." (Then again, I'm a guy. So I could be totally wrong. Something - narcissism - tells me I'm not.)Using your own experience to hammer home your point just makes it that much more effective. You seem to me to be locked in as far as this competition goes. There's no telling how the vote will go, but you obviously have gained some momentum since the "save" and have your eye on the prize. Don't let up.This is a great post on a topic that can be highly volatile at times - I can't believe how judgmental people can be over this topic but I've really seen some knock-down drag-out fights about it. Using your personal experience as a basis for your feelings on the subject was great - it shows that you've "been there done that" and therefore have the background to talk about it.Excellent work!I agree with you 100%! I think what matters most is that mothers feed their babies whatever they think is best. Some, like you, didn't have any choice but to not breastfeed and that's not your fault and that doesn't make you a bad mother. I could feel your passion in this post. There were some typos but it was overall a well-written piece. :)This is such a great post! You were able to convey your point of view without attacking anyone, and you provided reliable information to back it up. Relying on your personal experience also makes this an invaluable post for women who feel that they have been looked down upon for not breastfeeding.I appreciate the fact that you clearly took your time in writing this. Oftentimes, people will just assume the reader won't pick up on the fact that they rushed through it. Wrong, it is totally obvious. You paid attention to the details and that is what maintained my attention. I love you for using proper punctuation. I wish more writers would take the time to work on this. Thank you for writing such a thoughtful and well-formatted post. Conversate is not a word and other abuses of the English language (guest judge)