It’s the mid-’90s and this pilot fish is the DBA for DB2 running on MVS. He’s the software DBA and the application DBA, meaning he does it all: installing and tuning DB2 itself, backing up the catalog, changing the ZPARMS, designing the application tables with the programming staff, backing them up, tuning the buffers for each application, and more.

A new head of IS is installed who seems to just like to stir things up. Which may be the entire reason she decides they should use DB2/2 running on OS/2 for a new project.

Fish points out that no one on staff is familiar with either OS/2 or DB2/2, but the boss isn’t concerned: “I’ve hired an expert on DB2/2 because you don’t know anything about it.”

When said expert shows up, the boss takes him around for introductions. He sees fish and says, “Hi, Steve.” Fish responds, “Hi, Mark.” The boss doesn’t exactly sound pleased when she asks, “You two know each other?” She looks even less pleased when Mark the expert says, “Yeah, Steve taught me everything I know about DB2.”

Sharky tries to do it all but I still need you to send me your true tales of IT life at sharky@computerworld.com. You can also subscribe to the Daily Shark Newsletter.