It begins early one morning in Baltimore, where Gene Siskel and I are scheduled to appear on a morning talk show hosted by a newcomer named Oprah Winfrey. The other guests on the show include a vegetarian chef, and four dwarfs dressed as chipmunks, who will sing "The Chipmunk Christmas Song" while dancing with Hula-Hoops.

Don't laugh at the chipmunks

We are all standing in the wings. Siskel is staring straight ahead, in fierce concentration. "Whatever you do," he whispers, "don't look at the chipmunks. I know you too well. You'll start to laugh, and that will make me start to laugh, and we'll never be able to stop."

Following his example, I stare straight ahead in fierce concentration. I focus on the vegetarian chef. He is showing Oprah how to blend zucchini to make delicious zucchini bread for the holidays. He knocks over the blender, which sprays pureed zucchini all over the interview couch. Then it is time for the commercial break.

Oprah does exactly what I would do in the same situation, and turns over the cushions on the couch. She wipes off the back of the couch with a copy of the Baltimore Sun, and says, "OK, boys, sit down and don't mention the zucchini." We sit down. During the interview I feel zucchini dripping into my shoes. The chipmunks are laughing so hard about the zucchini that they may not be able to sing "The Chipmunk Christmas Song."

I realize during this show that Oprah Winfrey is a natural on television, although she could use a better booker.

A few months later, the job of hosting "AM Chicago" opened up. I remember being the guest host one morning. My guest was Sophia Loren. She was promoting her new perfume. I'm not sure, but I think it was named "Sophia." I don't know much about perfume, but it was an opportunity to learn.

"What do you make the perfume from?" I asked Miss Loren.

"Make it?" she said. "What from?"

"Like flowers or stuff?"