Here comes that little monster again! I know you're tired of dealing with it on a daily basis and I'm sure the last thing you want is to read about it. But bare with me here; this read is about sending that monster back to the depths of Davey Jones Locker. As someone who is transgender, I've dealt with gender dysphoria for a few years now and I've learned a thing on how to keep the monster at bay. If you're reading this and are trans yourself, more than likely you've experienced what I'm talking about. If you still get visits from "the monster", you need this tip.

Gender dysphoria is when you hate every aspect of your body that doesn't align to the gender that you believe you truly are. For a transwoman, that means you hate your facial hair, your large hands, muscular body, lack of curves and breasts, short hair, low voice and so on. Typically for transmen, it's the exact opposite of a transwoman. The list is ongoing and we can have a mixture of these or all of them. The good news is that dysphoria can subside when you finally start the hormones of your choice, bad news, certain physical traits just can't change no matter what you do. Such traits include, hand and foot size, body height, bone structure and in some cases even your voice. For us, not being able to pass completely as the opposite gender brings us a lot of pain and discomfort. Something I myself have dealt with for quite a while.

Growing up knowing I always wanted to be a girl, I hated puberty. Puberty meant that my body would morph into a masculine one and when the changes occurred, they repulsed me. I began to grow thick facial hair and body hair. My voice got a little lower and I just didn't sound like a girl anymore. But the change I hated the most happened with my hands and feet. They grew to a larger more masculine size. At least the growing hair could be shaved, that solved that problem. But the thickening of my fingers and widening of my palms could never be undone. I remember once I was in the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror, noticing all the changes my body went through. At that moment I had never felt so alienated from myself. I felt like the person in the mirror wasn't an accurate reflection of who I should be. At that moment, I broke down and began to cry. I hated myself and it was all because my body was taking its natural course. As my puberty progressed I knew that there wasn't anything I could do to undo the harmful effects that testosterone had done to me. I had no other choice but to accept what has become of me and adapt.

I managed to overcome my gender dysphoria using one simple rule. Everyday I would find something about myself that is feminine. I relied on the parts of me that testosterone hasn't turned masculine to pull me out of this deep hatred that I had for myself. Following this one rule, I went back to the mirror and took a good look at myself. I began to notice things that I hadn't before. Traits I actually liked, traits that I found feminine. This time around, round 2 with the same mirror I looked for what made me womanly. I noticed that I still had soft facial features. A soft jaw line and chubby cheeks. My facial hair wasn't too bad, it was actually very little. My eyebrows were in good shape and not too bushy. My skin was still pretty soft and smooth, even with the presence of body hair. What I loved most was the fact that I'm actually still pretty short only 5 foot 5, which is perfect short girl territory. After realizing all these feminine traits I acquire, I noticed that over time, my dysphoria wasn't as bad anymore. I stopped obsessing over the masculine parts and put my feminine qualities on a pedestal. I became happier and my gender dysphoria had finally been subdued.

I promise you, you too can be as happy as I am now if you too follow the same rule that I have. Some things can't be changed and that's okay. Once you take a good look at yourself and find the traits that make you masculine or feminine, the negative traits won't matter anymore and you too will have finally conquered your gender dysphoria. To all of you good luck with your journey and be safe.