You know how it goes by now: Sideways pass. One touch too many. Sideways pass. Check back the other way. Sideways pass. Hopeful cross from out wide. Get the ball back. Sideways pass. Dribble into trouble. And then, if you’re lucky, a harmless scuffed shot from 20 yards out.



Watching Tottenham on Sunday was painfully familiar for anyone who has seen them at home recently. Plenty of other games have followed this pattern, but none quite as perfectly as this. This — 80% possession, two shots on target, no goals, no points —was the ultimate realisation of the trends that have been creeping into their home games this year. They have been blunt and dull and predictable and stoppable before, but never quite as much this.



Tottenham never looked like scoring, even against a Newcastle side who many of their own fans expect to go down. Spurs had all of the ball but they had no idea what to do with it. All they could do was fling in aimless crosses for Paul...