This September—to the delight of strivers, fixers, ambulance chasers, studio executives, first wives, import/export operators, Third World factory owners, mid-level Emirati royals, and “legitimate businesspeople” the world over—Mercedes-Benz will release the latest iteration of its range-topping sedan: the S-Class. This vehicle line is not only intended to epitomize a brand promise of effortless dependability and dominance that dates back to . . . well, Benz’s invention of the automobile in the late-19th century—it also offers a rolling showcase for Mercedes’s ever-advancing vehicular technologies.

We promise to provide you with a full report on the new S-Class once we have a chance to borrow one for an extended evaluation this fall. But in the meantime, the car’s eminent arrival gives us an excuse to offer up one of our fabulously bitchy retrospectives of a venerable nameplate’s lengthy run. Click through the slide show below to see how each of the nine generations of S-Classes fares in our subjective, six-decade countdown.

Ranking All Nine Generations of the Mercedes-Benz S-Class



1 / 9 Chevron Chevron W111/112 (1959–1968) Despite our general worship of American design audacity—witness our adoration of Googie architecture, or Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson—we’ve never managed to get behind that ultimate expression of midcentury profligacy: the automotive tail fin. And though we like a cowed and diffident Germany much more than one that edges toward the other extreme, we’re sorry that Mercedes felt so insecure about America’s global rise that they needed to craft this Heckflosse­-laden and most unfortunately mimetic of S-Classes.

Continued text. Again, delete if not needed.