Meet Shane:

Shane is 24 years old, and cruising towards the prime of his career. He can play at left back, or centre back, depending on where his team needs him. In his last six games, he has played both positions three times. Not only is he a versatile man, but also a hard-worker. In the last two seasons, for English club Millwall, the industrious Australian has appeared over seventy times, establishing himself as one of the best defenders in England’s second tier. In that period he has graced the field for almost 6500 minutes, having been substituted off only twice. Some might call him a work-horse. Others call him a really decent footballer.

Oh, he’s also very, very good at taking freekicks:

There’s a lot more to like about Shane. Although playing at youth level for the Republic of Ireland (a team that wanted him for their senior squad, and would be playing him now) the Perth born 24-year-old decided that he was proud of being an Australian. Mr. Lowry made a commitment to the Socceroos, one that was rejoiced by many of us who were following his career. What a champion.

…right?

Unfortunately, since making that undoubtedly huge decision in 2009, and having seen his form and ability develop significantly over the last three seasons, Shane is yet to be picked for a Socceroos side. Holger, you could say, has left our man high and dry.

Meet David:

David is a very happy bloke. Today, he was picked once again to represent Australia internationally. This will be the 46th time in his career, one that is reaching its twilight as he crawls towards 30 years old. Mr. Carney, too, can play at left back, and he is sometimes more adventurous than that, roaming forward into the murky world of left midfield.

In the last two or so years, David has graced three football clubs; sometimes appearing for them three, even four times. In fact, Mr. Carney has played just under 5000 minutes of football in his entire career. Around 500 of those in the last two years. He’s a relaxed man, David, and that’s why we like him so much. One constant throughout his career is a desire to play at quality clubs in quality leagues; the New York Redbulls where he currently earns a living is only testament to this.

Look to your left, look to your right, now look at David Carney’s gymnastic potency:

But perhaps David’s most desirable feature, is his unique ability to personify the four-leaf clover. The Australian stalwart, as he is known in some circles, has defied all odds to consistently earn selection for the Socceroos and a pay check. Is it his blonde hair, blue eyes and irresistible charm? Or is he some sort of superhuman? Nobody knows.

Now, compare the pair.

In a team that has been calling out for a left-back desperately; in a team that has been forced to play central midfielders in the full back position due to an apparent lack of options, it is clear which of the above gentlemen deserves to be in the Socceroos side, and who doesn’t. But this is the world we’ve grown so accustomed to living in; where jokes become reality, and reality becomes a joke.

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