The Informer’s 50 NBA Blogs in 50 Night Day 19: Rambling Through The 2014 NFL Draft Takeover

by

Ladies and gentlemen we interrupt our previously scheduled 50 NBA Blogs in 50 Nights series to bring you this special report on the 2014 NFL Draft.

Yes, it is true, even The Informer has been infected with the NFL craze. Let’s face it our lives are now 24-7 NFL and there is nothing we can do about it.

Take day 19 of the 2014 NBA Playoffs for example; last night The Informer woke up and tried to find the Miami Heat–Brooklyn Nets game on television. The Informer turned through the channels stopping at TNT, ESPN, TBS and NBA TV before taking a shot with ABC –the game was nowhere to be found.

Finally, The Informer got on the internet to make sure there was actually a game being played. Turns out there was a game being played, only it was being shown on ESPN 2. The Informer could not believe his eyes. The two-time defending NBA Champions, with the most popular basketball player since Michael Jordan, were playing an NBA Playoff game and it was a secondary option being shown on ESPN 2.

It blew The Informer’s mind. I mean for the love of “Tebow”: Where was TNT and Charles Barkley? Why were they not showing the prime-time Thursday night game like always? How could the NBA allow the NFL to totally dominate the night and make the playoffs seem like an afterthought?



Hell, even during the ESPN NBA pre-game show Bill Simmons (The Informer’s idol) and Jalen Rose were talking more about the draft then actual basketball. It was unreal. The Informer’s only thought was: “Wow I can’t believe the NBA let this happen.”

But, like The Informer said, we live in a 24-7 NFL world and there is nothing we can do about it. That is why on Day 19 of our journey through 50 NBA Blogs in 50 Nights we are skipping the basketball talk and concentrating on the year round craze known as the National Football League.

So with that in mind, here are The Informer’s rambling thoughts from Day 1 of the 2014 NFL Draft.

(The Informer note – Please keep in mind that a ramblings column can go absolutely anywhere. There is no rhyme or reason for these thoughts, jokes or unoriginal thoughts. Hopefully you all enjoy.)

Can someone please explain to The Informer why there was no WWE style entrance music? The Informer is pretty sure we were promised freaking entrance music, and yet after every draft pick there was no music playing over the loud speakers. If this was the NFL’s idea of a joke, it was not a very good one.

The Informer is not saying he wasn’t entertained, but how much more exciting would it have been to watch “John Football” walk on stage doing his “dollar signs” gesture with Shane McMahon’s Here Comes the Money blaring in the background?

There is one good thing that came out of the NFL playing a sick joke on us all. After each pick we got to listen to Ray Lewis tell us that these guys were “Football Players”. I mean thank “Tebow” Lewis was on set to distinguish that “Football Players” were being drafted in the National Football League Draft.

Speaking of Lewis: Does anyone know why Lewis was on the main stage with Chris Berman, Mel Kiper Jr. and John Gruden instead of Todd McShay?

Just saying, McShay’s only job is to prepare year round for the NFL Draft and then, for some unknown reason, on the day of the big show he is not sitting at the big boy table? Does that make any sense to anyone? There must be some kind of reason behind the demotion, right?



Was McShay secretly suspended because he only wrote 3,000 mock draft articles instead of 4,000? Did V. Stiviano threaten to release a recording of McShay if he went on the air? Is Obama somehow responsible? Sadly, we may never know why he was replaced. All The Informer does know is his absence sure seemed like a pretty big “F.U.” to one of ESPN’s biggest so-called “draft experts”.

Moving on: Has anyone made the “John Football” is taking a paycut to play in the NFL joke yet? Or is The Informer the first one?



Truthfully though, The Informer is really excited for the city of Cleveland that they got “John Football”. The Informer is also really happy that Drew Carey now has a new best friend to drink “Buzz Beer” with. But, with all of that said, this twitter meme/photo is freaking hilarious . . .

EXCLUSIVE: LeBron already telling Manziel how to leave Cleveland. pic.twitter.com/2fsciCCztj — SportsNation (@SportsNation) May 9, 2014

#HATE HATE HATE!!!

Hey, did The Informer mention that he loved the fact that the Houston Texans took Jadeveon Clowney? The Informer loves this pick because – even though it is a novel concept – the Texans used the first pick to draft the best player in the draft.

Again, not to beat a dead gamecock into the ground, but the NFL Draft really is not “rocket scientology”. You take the best player available, or the best player available at a position of need, and help your team. That is exactly what the Texans did and now they arguably have the scariest pass rush since the 1990 New York Giants.

Someone has to ask: Do the Jacksonville Jaguars hate their fans, or for that matter selling tickets?

For the past two years the Jags have had a chance to sign Florida football legend Tim Tebow to be their quarterback. A Tebow signing would have undoubtedly led to multiple sell-outs, happy fans and all sorts of merchandise sales. Instead, the higher-ups decided to keep the non-sellout streak going by continuing to roll out the Blaine Gabbert experience.

Fast forward to Thursday night and the Jags once again had a chance to make a ton of money and excite the fan base by drafting the most charismatic/fun/popular quarterback in recent draft memory. So what did they do? They drafted a guy from a college no one has ever heard of who may or may not have a ceiling as high as Blaine Gabbert.

Hey at least they are consistent in their message to the fans: “We don’t care what you want!”

Listen, The Informer hopes he is one hundred percent wrong and the Jags new signal caller becomes so popular that they change the name of The Informer’s favorite wine coolers to “Bortles & James”. If that happens The Informer would be ecstatic for the Jacksonville fans. But let’s be honest here, there was not a single Jags fan excited when the last name on the draft card didn’t read “Football”.

Going from head scratching moves to great ones, The Informer 100 percent can’t wait for Sammy Watkins to start catching touchdown passes from “The Cannon” E.J. Manuel. This was a trade that made the Buffalo Bills better.



Hey Tampa Bay, have you ever heard of Mike Evans . . . Who? Mike Evans . . . Who?

The over under on Return of the Mack jokes The Informer is going to make when talking about the Oakland Raiders this season has been set at 11,345. You all have been warned.

The New England Patriots drafted another player from the Florida Gators with the 29thpick. The Informer had a joke about how Florida players who are drafted by the Patriots usually turn out, but for the life of me, The Informer can’t remember what it is. It is literally killing The Informer that he can’t remember. You know what? It is probably better in the long run, The Informer is sure he would have horribly murdered the joke anyways.

“Hey Ray Lewis . . . Is the guy the New Orleans Saints drafted a baseball player?”

“No Informer, he is a FOOTBALL PLAYER!!!”

“Thanks Ray, you are the best.”

Speaking of the Saints new football player: Can someone tell The Informer when it has ever been a good idea to trade up in a draft to get a 5’8” 180 pound WR? Do the people who make these trades realize the guys who play defense in the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE look like this . . .

The Detroit Lions drafted a tight end that, in the words of Mel Kiper, “can’t block”. Isn’t that about like drafting a running back that can’t run? #ClassicLions

Did The Informer ever tell y’all about the time he got dumped by a girl? Her exact words for why we were breaking up were, “Ha Ha Clinton-Dix”.

Get it? The Informer was making a small . . . You know what, maybe we should just move on.

All jokes aside; The Informer’s favorite picks of the night were Sammy Watkins (Bills), Khalil Mack (Raiders), “John Football” (Cleveland) Kelvin Benjamin (Carolina Panthers) and Teddy Bridgewater (Minnesota Vikings in a last minute trade).

If The Informer had to make a bold NFL prediction right now, he would say those guys will be the main players in the 2014 NFL Rookie of the Year conversations. Also, if he had to predict it right now, “John Football” would win the award.

And finally, in closing, The Informer wants to give a shout-out to Chris Berman. For the 21th straight year (1993 was the first I remember) you made The Informer’s draft day experience a memorable one #LongLiveBerman #TheGreatest #WHOOOOP!!!

DAY 1 DAY 3 DAY 4 DAY 5 DAY 6 DAY 7 DAY 8

DAY 10 DAY11 DAY 13 DAY 14 DAY 16 DAY 17 DAY 18