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A few years ago I sat down for hours and hours one night with a young lad, who played academy rugby then. He asked me if he could have a chat with me as he was really down and at his wits end because he’d attempted to take his own life.

And the reason why he attempted to take his own life was because he was dealing with his sexuality and he was afraid what his parents, family and friends would say. And he was afraid he’d have to give up rugby too.

I spent hours and hours with him over many weeks, saying listen, rugby will accept you for who you are like it accepted me and Gareth Thomas.

I said I can’t tell you if your parents will accept you or your friends, but I can tell you that the huge, huge majority in rugby will and I’m pretty sure that your friends and family, if they are anything like mine, will accept you no matter who you are, like mine did with me.

This was a couple of months after he attempted to take his own life. It took a few more chats and a few more months before he said he felt better and was now okay with himself and that he was coming around to accepting who he was.

He still plays rugby and he has accepted who he is but he has yet to tell his family and friends, and as I told him that choice is his and no-one else’s.

But comments like Israel Folau’s about gay people and all other types of bullying by all kinds of people is what can put people like that young boy in that moment where it’s enough to tip them over the edge, because there is a minority out there who give the impression that you cannot be who you truly are.

(Image: Getty Images)

We need people to understand and respect everyone for who they are, you don’t have to agree with or even like it, but let everyone live their own lives.

His comments six months ago when he tweeted about that he respected everyone’s views and opinions but that he could not support same-sex marriage, and to me that’s fine.

I don’t agree with his view but neither does he need to agree with mine on it.

I know some people who don’t agree with same-sex marriage and I would call some of them friends.

But I think, then, when you say gay people are going to go to hell unless they repent their sins then it’s something totally different.

Yes, you are entitled to your opinion but one should understand what that opinion can do to young and vulnerable people's lives in particular ones in a bad place dealing with their sexuality.

When you say first of all that you respect everybody and their different views and opinions, then you can’t mean that if you are saying gay people should go to hell because of who they are.

It’s not a choice of being gay. I spent years and years trying not to be gay because I didn’t realise I was gay until I was about 19.

It’s how you are born, I believe.

The disappointing thing for me then, is that sometimes I don’t think people realise that it is not a choice.

I believe no matter who you are, as long as you are a decent human being then you should be treated the same as everybody else.

No better and no worse. No ticking of boxes. I should not have any preferential treatment because I’m gay, and I shouldn’t be treated any worse because I am gay.

All that I expect is for me to be treated the same as everybody else, not only in society in everyday life, but also in whatever sport you chose to participate in.

All that should matter is that if you are a decent human being then you should be respected and treated the same as everybody else and you should treat and respect everybody else the same as well too.

What I think people, and not just Falou, but other people, too, who comment on social media about people’s sexuality in that manner then I think it becomes more of a responsibility on you.

Not only a responsibility to the sport that you’re in but a responsibility to society and to everyday life as well, in particular to young people who look to their heroes, whether it be in sport or in any other field and walk of life.

When you have young people in particular struggling with their sexuality, like I was, becoming somebody that I didn’t want to be - becoming something that to me at the time was not normal in many many people's eyes, it was absolute hell in dealing with that myself personally.

All that worry of if people would accept me made me suffer from mental health issues and depression that drove me to take my own life and within 20 minutes of losing my life, because of having the worry of becoming who I didn’t want to be and the worry of what people are going to say.

And when people say comments like this, or bullying anyone in general, I don’t think they realise what they are doing to young people and older people for that matter who are going through those difficult times.

(Image: Wales Online)

You have a choice to live a lie and hide it from the world or get married have children and pretend to be somebody you are not, but you don’t have a choice in truly being who you are when it comes to your sexuality.

And when young people in particular see comments like this, and not just from our sporting stars but from anybody, it could be enough to push those people over the edge.

In situations like this, people should keep their opinions that can be very harmful to themselves when saying things like that.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion I hear some of you say, but surely some opinions are better kept to oneself, are they not?

He needs to respect that people are different to him and to his beliefs, and if he disagrees with it, he should let them get on with their own lives.

It doesn’t hurt me what Folau, or anyone else like him, says.

I’ve accepted who I am, but it can affect young people going through those difficult times, believe me, as years ago I was one of them.

If you really are a Christian then surely you should respect people who are different to who you are.

It’s not your sexuality that should define you as a person but the content of your character in being the person that you truly are. Although it’s disappointing to hear people say things like this, no matter who says it, and it does highlight that there are still issues with homophobia within sport and society, but also it does show the huge amount of the majority of people who speak up and say this type of language is not acceptable.

People who make these comments, no matter who they are, one day they may have children themselves or family members who won’t have a choice in being who they are.

And sometimes these people who put these comments out there may one day have a son or daughter who will be gay, and it’s not a choice and if you force them to be someone they are not or your choice of language or beliefs force them, you may well lose them forever not only out of your lives but worse still push them to the brink where they may, like me many years ago, think that there was only one way out and that was to take one’s own life.

I wonder what they, who think that hell is the place for gay people, will do then?

Will they open the doors to hell themselves for their own children? Or will they accept them for who they are and love them like God does in loving everyone for who they are?