spoopy-skeletoons:

Atlas May: You watched Twin Peaks to find out who killed Laura Palmer and were severely disappointed that it became a show about surrealism and coffee slurping FBI sweethearts.

Mitzi May: You have had it up to the rafters with all the men in your life and spend your evenings drinking alone listen to Lana Del Rey, Marina and the Diamonds, and/or Halsey.

Viktor Vasko: You had a sexual awakening when you saw the buff tigers from Zootopia and weep every night that you will never be held in the rippling arms of a feline lumberjack.

Mordecai Heller: You’re holding out for a Kylo Ren redemption arc and have reblogged a picture of Peridot and tagged it “me”.

Wick Sable: You are the most boring person in your friend group and have yet to accept that your only role is to sigh and pull your hair at the sight of their wacky antics.

Ivy Pepper: You are subscribed to at least one makeup tutorial YouTube channel, and your friends are always complimenting the clothes you either made yourself or bought at a thrift store.

Rocky Rickaby: You are a current or former theater kid who is still reeling with embarrassment over the the times you ruined your chances at romantic love by being an overbearing fuckup.

Calvin “Freckle” Murray: Your blog is full of memes about living with mental illness and using abstract gallows humor as a coping mechanism.

Edmund Church: You’ve eaten monopoly money before.

Lacy Hardt: You’re working in retail and hating every hellish moment of it.

Dorian “Zib” Zibowski: You either have an unyielding fetish for musicians, or are a musician with an unyielding fetish for yourself.

Nina McMurray: You reblog sexual posts telling people to love Jesus and to go to church.

Horatio Bruno: You have the comic where Alfred beats up Superman framed on your wall.

Dr. Quackenbrush: You have a McElroy level obsession with horses.

Captain Kehoe: You listen to nothing but Jimmy Buffet.

Dominic Drago: You romanced Nick Valentine in Fallout 4.

Mrs. Babka: You, without a hint of irony, cried when nobody came to eat PawPaw’s burgers.

Virgil: You know how the comic will end, and you know he’s a key player in the events to come.

Nicodeme Savoy: You fantasize about dating a country boy but are painfully aware that real country boys are belligerent idiots at best and racist homophobes at worst.

The Pig Farmers: You are a real country boy.

Serafine Savoy: You are part of witch tumblr and channel all your magical energies into destroying the gender binary and cursing Donald Trump.

The Arbogasts: When playing RPGs, you give up on the main quest and decide to raise a family and grow crops, only picking up a weapon to defend against bandits.

Asa Sweet: You are a contrarian that everybody dreads being around.