We all felt a swelling of British pride this week, when some of our great national figures proved we’re in this together, by claiming millions of pounds off the rest of us.

For example, Victoria Beckham claimed money to furlough her staff, boosting spirits by showing she’s proud of our Welfare State.

Because her family’s £335million of assets includes essentials such as an Estonian sauna and steam room.

And it was in the founding document of the plans for social security, that “from this day, no family shall be so poor it cannot reasonably enjoy an Estonian steam room.

"If a family should fall on such hard times that it can only afford lesser-quality Norwegian steam in its steam room, this would bring shame upon us all as a society”.

(Image: Reuters)

Richard Branson did even better, asking for five hundred million quid to bail out his airline.

One of the great qualities of our most brilliant minds is to stand apart from the crowd.

So it’s with typical drive and imagination, that while the rest of the country is stuck in the old-fashioned notion of “let’s applaud health workers and raise whatever we can for them”, Branson thinks outside the box with a different demand: “Give us 500 million quid, this lockdown has left me a bit short.”

If he hadn’t lost the rail franchise, he could have stood in one of his own carriages begging for cash.

He’d say: “Hello ladies and gentlemen, sorry to bother you. My name’s Richard, I lost my job as a balloonist and spaceman, and now I just need five hundred million quid to keep my aeroplanes. Anything you give will be greatly appreciated, even a small amount such as 10 million will help.”

Indeed, when he had his rail franchise, a peak-time return from London to Manchester was a hundred million quid, so if he’d sold five tickets he’d have cracked it.

Branson offered his Caribbean island as security for the bailout.

This is more than can be said for jobless cleaners, who claim benefits without even offering a palm tree.

So for Branson to claim state aid, is the sort of act that would have left our grandparents overjoyed during the early days of the Welfare State.

“At last,” they’d have cried, “We have a safety net to protect us. In the old days if we were down to our last three billion pounds and our airline went bust, we had to pawn our aeroplanes.

"It was heartbreaking, we put them in on Monday and didn’t see them again until Friday.

PIERS AND SUSANNA CLASH OVER NEWS VICTORIA BECKHAM IS FURLOUGHING HER STAFF

“Now, thank the good Lord, that the humble Caribbean island-owner is protected.”

So now is the time for the Queen to make a claim, for all those lost visitors to palaces. And she’s had to make two extra speeches.

She should put in for Universal Credit. If it takes too long she should dump Andrew and Charles on the table and say, “YOU look after my sodding kids”.