Theresa May’s trips to Washington and Ankara in her tour of questionable world leaders reminded everyone that a post-Brexit Britain will be in great need of friends. However, between Donald Trump’s “Muslim ban” and Recep Tayyip Erdoğan’s widening crackdown on opponents, do we really need friends like these?

Many Turks have been watching the first shocking days of the Trump administration unfold with one thing in mind – “welcome to our world!” Conspiracy. The blaming of outside forces (foreigners) for homeland problems. Attacks on the media. Religion used as a tool to divide with a liberal sprinkling of the word “terrorist”. Turkey has walked this path before.

It would be wise to consider Turkey’s spiral into authoritarianism as a warning for what could happen if the world doesn’t stand up to Trump. The things you’re scared of the US president doing, Erdoğan has likely already implemented. These are egomaniacs more interested in their own power than the genuine furthering of their country – they are not people May can control with trade deals.

It’s easy to sit halfway across the world, read a few articles about Turkey and get busy all over comment sections – “wake up! Erdoğan is a dictator” – but look at the US: this is how it begins. The slow creep of what is almost mind control. Divide and conquer.

Don’t forget, it’s not that long since Turkey was championed as a democratic beacon in the Middle East. In just a few years, hyperbole, deliberately fanned fear and paranoia have fuelled the country’s descent into Islamism and the sort of Big Brother state its people had hoped it had left behind in the dark days that followed the 1980 coup.

Turkey now silences dissent by arresting opponents and has been accused of using torture and violence, including rape. Widespread purges have seen thousands dismissed from their jobs due to loosely evidenced accusations of supporting the group the government holds responsible for last year’s failed coup attempt. They have been left without employment or financial support – suicides have followed. Turkey’s newest accolade is that it’s the world’s largest imprisoner of journalists.

Yet the British prime minister chooses to remain largely silent and instead broker a £100m deal for two fighter jets. Her meeting with these two leaders has sent a message loud and clear on behalf of the UK: as long as we can make some money, do what you like.

May’s weak condemnation of the travel ban on citizens from seven Muslim-majority countries entering the US does not go far enough either. Trump has voiced his support for the use of torture. And his similarities with the Turkish leader do not end there. Both use a rhetoric of patriotism to the point of nationalism, are vocal against abortion and are infamous for their tendency to objectify women and misunderstand feminism. They have both granted their sons-in-law important positions and both have a particularly thin skin when it comes to criticism, especially when it comes from comedians and journalists.

Erdoğan and Trump have publicly supported each other’s stance on the media in the past. Anyone who has spent time in Turkey will recognise Trump’s denouncement of negative coverage in outlets such as the New York Times as “fake news”. They will be familiar with headlines such as the one that appeared in far-right outlet Brietbart (whose founding member Steve Bannon is Trump’s chief strategist), used in relation to the protests in the US on Saturday – “Terror-tied group Cair causes chaos, promoting protests and lawsuits as Trump protects nation”. This is pure Erdoğan territory – denouncing opposition by associating it with terror while glorifying the strong leader. Turkey is the home of “alternative facts”.

A country that makes the media the enemy is a country where people are too easily manipulated by those in power. Journalists in Turkey, unless they work for organisations that toe the official government line on events, constantly wobble on a tightrope between reporting what’s going on and not reporting enough to get arrested. Even foreign journalists self-censor, double-check for unintended “insults” that could land them in trouble. They flinch when the doorbell rings unexpectedly, and wonder every time they go abroad whether they will be allowed back in the country.

We need to stand up against the vilification of the free press in the US now before it goes too far. Erdoğan is no longer good for Turkey, just like Trump is no good for America. They are changing the identities of their countries. The irony that a possible Turkish accession to the EU was used as one of the key motivations for Brexit is likely to be a common theme throughout our moves towards leaving the EU. While turning away from these sorts of leaders can lead to isolation and further extremes, do we really have to be quite literally holding hands with them?

By staying silent, collaborating, inviting people like Trump for state visits, we are handing them more power. We are complicit, and it’s time our government stood up.