Wife whose husband became secret sperm donor calls for change in the law to require partners' consent

Wife concerned about the psychological affect potential children fathered by her husband will have on the family

His donation may produce as many as 20 children

She claims, in marriage, the husband's sperm should be considered 'marital asset'

In a letter to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority, she calls for wives' consent to be mandatory



A married woman whose husband donated sperm without her knowledge is calling for clinics to be forced to ask for a wife's consent.

The unnamed mother-of-one from Surrey said she feared that children fathered with the sperm – who would be half-brothers or sisters of her son – may one day 'disrupt' the family by getting in touch.

She has written to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority calling for guidelines on sperm donation to include the spouse's views – and says the sperm should be treated as a joint 'marital asset'.

The unnamed woman has made contact with Diane Blood (pictured) who conceived two children using her late husband's frozen sperm after a legal battle





In marriage, sperm should be considered some kind of 'marital asset', wife argues

A controversial ruling in 2005 meant all children born through sperm donation – up to ten families are allowed per donor – have the right to trace their biological father when they reach adulthood.

In her heartfelt letter to the fertility watchdog, she told how her husband had donated sperm against her wishes after suffering Post Traumatic Stress Disorder following the birth of their child.

But if the children he fathers – to help infertile couples or single women – contacted her in the future, she would 'not feel able to push them away'.

The businesswoman said: 'I am personally in this situation with my husband having donated sperm against my wishes when he was suffering from PTSD.

'Despite my contacting the clinic (I never received an acknowledgment), this sperm may already have been used to father children who in 18 years' time may come knocking on our door, disrupting family life and unsettling our own children.'

Sperm donation helps infertile couples to have families and is also used for research purposes

She added: 'There is then a huge emotional debt I would owe the child. I would not feel that I could push them away. It is something I would need to explain to our son.

'It is not something I had ever imagined having to encounter. It would almost feel like introducing the offspring of an adulterous relationship.'

The wife believes that the procedure for sperm donation 'should also include the wife or partner being asked about their views and signalling consent.'

She said: 'I think it is a decision both parties should make. It [the sperm] must be some sort of marital asset.'

The woman has made contact with Diane Blood, the widow who won a legal battle to conceive her two children using her late husband's frozen sperm after his sudden death from meningitis.

Mrs Blood said: 'There needs to be a public discussion about the matter. When fighting my own case I quoted the marriage vows which say “All that I am is yours”.

Sperm donors are recruited through licensed clinics and are not paid but can claim reasonable expenses for travel and lost earnings. A man who has donated sperm may withdraw his consent before it has been used.

There is no obligation for clinics to establish whether the wife objects, although some counsellors suggest men discuss the subject with their partner. Since the 2005 ruling against donor anonymity, they must provide a name and address.

Dr Gulam Bahadur, a former HEFA board member and specialist in men's health at Homerton University Hospital in London said he was 'grateful the point had been raised'.

He said: 'At the moment, the person from whose body the sperm comes has total say over its use, but if this use impacts on the wife's family life, the situation is not cut and dried.'