The lowest possible rating a FIFA 18 player can have is 46, and there are ten players plumbing these depths. Nine of them, like Grimsby Town’s Max Wright and Scunthorpe United’s Leslie Sackey, are professional athletes. The tenth is a former youth goalkeeper roped in to get around an administrative loophole.




Tommy Käßemodel, listed in the game as a player for the German club FC Erzgebirge Aue, has a defensive rating of 36, while his pace is a comedic 23. For reference, most players in the game find their ratings nestled somewhere between 60-90.


Those would be mortifying stats for someone paid to play football, but the weird thing here is that Käßemodel isn’t paid to play football: he’s Erzgebirge’s kit man (you can see him in action here), the guy responsible for looking after everyone’s shirts and shorts.

There’s a rule in German football that every club must have four players in their senior squad who were brought through by the team’s academy/youth system. At the start of last season Erzgebirge only had three, but as RAN report they found they could meet the requirements by signing Käßemodel—who had previously been a youth player at the club—to a professional contract, even if they had no intention of actually using him in a game. So they did.

He doesn’t actually play for the club, but he’s on the books, and because he’s on the books at a club in Germany’s second division, he gets into FIFA 18. Which makes for an interesting (and controversial, because Erzgebirge’s opponents hate the loophole) story, and also one hell of a challenge if you want to play him in your Ultimate Team.