Arsenal’s summer is well and truly rocking.

Nicolas Pepe finally landed on the .com. It has to be the most shocking signing since we landed Dennis Bergkamp. Out-fucking-rageous.

How the hell did Raul pull that move off? The player reckons he had the choice of Liverpool, United, Bayern and Arsenal.

Sure, some of that might have been related to moving up north or having to live in Munich — whatever it was that tipped him our way, it’s an immense achievement and a HUGE signal of intent for the upcoming season.

Things I love about this move:

He’s just turned 24 years old. We have him on the upward trajectory. He was the best-attacking force in Ligue 1 outside the PSG collective. This is basically us signing Eden Hazard of 2019.

Raul has tough financial restrictions to deal with, instead of mincing around pleading poverty and crying about how life is so fucking tough at a rich club, he’s gotten creative. We’ve structured a deal that works for us and a competitor and the transition seems to have been fairly smooth.

We’re now engaging with super agents and family members. I think this is one of those things you’d rather not know the true details of… but the reality of football is it’s a murky business, now we have a character willing to do whatever to get a deal over the line. If we had that sort of attitude on the pitch, maybe we’d be in the CL. Also worth noting that if we’d had that sort of mindset a few years ago, we’d have Mbappe in our starting 11.

This is a big boy signing. I think many people feared we were sliding down the pecking order for the type of player we could sign. We’ve landed two hugely exciting young players, we have an elite number 8 in Ceballos, a wow winger and I think there’s every indication we might bring in Tierney and a centre back.

This is a reminder to the naysayers… we are still an elite club, and a rebirth under the right leadership is possible. Think about that when you’re wondering whether a proper manager would ever consider joining us: short answer, yes.

So far, it’s been a great summer. Even wilder if we move on Mustafi.

It’s hard to fathom where this season is going to take us.

I love the new players, but the cold hard reality is that we haven’t moved the defence along and the new attacking bodies we have aren’t bedded in. Our opening month is going to be tough. I think once the stardust has settled, we might be in for a bit of a shock. Better attacking players make us harder to box in, but they don’t stop Xhaka kicking himself in the face, and they won’t stop the heart-attack that is our backline.

One problem at a time… for now, let’s just bask in the glory of a much better summer than we’d hoped for.

Let’s also laugh at the Spurs players treating a preseason trophy win like a real trophy.

Let’s also laugh at Dybala being lukewarm to the idea of going to play under Ole Gunnar Car-crash.

They’re having the summer we thought we were having… so amusing. x