Hello, Spongey here.

Happy April Fool’s Day! I do something special every year for this day, so you might be wondering what is on the agenda this time. In the past I’ve played normal jokes, like having other people review the movie or do something random.

But this time I wanna get into the essence of what April Fools is all about. April Fool’s is of course, all about fooling people. Basically, making people think they’ll get one thing, and you give them something else. You know what kind of media does that? Rip off media!

After all, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. So there’s really nothing wrong with a rip off or two. When something is popular, it will naturally lead to a lot of people wanting a slice of that pie. And you know what property has lead to a lot of rip offs over the years? Goosebumps!

Oh yeah, we’re finally going there. Back in the 90’s, the series was huge so it only makes sense that other people would jump on the bandwagon. Chances are you’ve bumped into at least one of these, or heard of them through reputation. I’ve been aware of them forever but for a while hadn’t really gone too deep into them for the most part.

But I think now is a good time to finally fix that. But April Fool’s is just one day. So screw it, welcome to Goosebumps Rip-off month! That’s right, we are digging into about 5 or so different book series that tried to do similar things to Goosebumps, with various results. This is going to be the whole month, so if you’re not interested….sorry.

I’ve been getting ready for this ever since I got the idea, so I’ve done tons of research and have gathered an interesting selection of books. Before we start, I assure you I will be fair to these books and see how they fare. Spoilers, some of them are actually good. Just because it’s a rip off doesn’t mean it’s bad. Just, not exactly original.

We’re sticking more with the clear ripoffs, and not things like Spooksville or Graveyard School that went in their own direction. We’ll be discussing one of these some other time though. With that said, let’s dive into these and see how they turn out.

First up, is Spinechillers Mysteries, or just Spinechillers. Both titles were used and there is a difference, we’ll get to that. This series lasted for 12 books from 1996 to 1998 and is one of the lesser known ones. So why am I including it over some others? It’s for one special thing that separates this from the others but oh boy, we’ll get to that.

They are credited to Fred. E. Katz (hardy har) but were actually written by Tim Ayers, who is still writing to this day. Just last year he wrote a book where a serial killer leaves clues in the form of Beatles lyrics. Man, why aren’t I reviewing that one? Anyway, this series actually got some ebooks a while back, with the first few getting re-released in hardback form.

So for some reason they really wanted this one to make a comeback in the 2010’s. When we get into it, you’ll see why that’s a bit silly. With all that said, let’s dive in because…there’s a reason this is our April fool’s post. Get ready for a month full of the epitome of the “we have X at home” meme!

This, is Dr. Shiver’s Carnival (or Dr. Shivers Carnival of Terror as it is sometimes called)

These covers were done by Mike Harper and this one isn’t too bad. Yeah, the guy’s face looks goofy but otherwise this looks fine. The sunset looks nice and it looks decently appealing enough. Nothing great, but I like it fine.

The book starts with our protagonist Kyle Conlon being woken up by a scream. He is staying at his Uncle Rex’s house and he has noticed a strange carnival that has popped up next door. He goes down to Rex who explains that it’s just a traveling carnival, nothing to be worried about. The scream…eh, who cares?

Rex is a big Hollywood hotshot which will indeed be important later. Kyle and his friends are here to be extras in his newest movie. Then we go back a bit for a more proper introduction to our cast. Kyle’s friends include Sara, and….Sammy and Brent.

If Brent turns out to be an alien. I’m out of here.

Back in the present, they see a scary face-oh wait it’s just a balloon from the carnival. This bodes well for how brave they are. Also, I see someone has the formula down already. They head down to the carnival, which of course is called Dr. Shiver’s Carnival of Terror. Should have kept that as the full name.

Kyle isn’t sure about this but thankfully he’s easy swayed by mocking, so they head in. Then a bony hand grabs hi-oh wait it’s just some guy. I’m annoyed already.

“It seemed weird to me but then again, this was California”

Okay, that was funny.

Some guy turns out to be a creepy dude known as Dr. Shivers. Way to remind me of one of the other series we’ll be looking at, by the way. The carnival isn’t open yet, but he would love for the kids to test them. Because when a stranger asks you to test his rides, you say yes. Also, carnival don’t typically beta test their rides the day before they open.

Then, because this book is very well structured, Kyle decides to tell us about his friend group and what they are like. Brent is small and nice, Sara likes baseball, and Sammy is a prankster. Because that character type wasn’t annoying enough in the actual Goosebumps books. Sammy is also from Mexico, because even the ripoffs are more diverse!

They walk around the carnival until we get our first scary setpiece: Gremlin’s Shooting Gallery. I’m shaking in my boots already. The catch is that the Gremlins are the ones shooting them.. Gotta say, that HBO Max series is looking pretty good.

Some Gremlins pop up and start shooting water at them. Wow, that horrible danger these kids are in. The Gremlins gang up on them but then the floor gives in and they end back outside, I guess. It’s a bit confusing.

But either way, they have escaped and have some choice feedback for Dr. Shivers. They don’t see this as a clear sign to leave and move on. They then find a marble that looks like an eye.

“I guess somebody is keeping an eye out for us”

Can we bring the Gremlins back?

Next they pick the Doom Slide, I mean the Shoot the Chute. Basically, it’s a bunch of tube slides and they each pick one. Sara picks the longest one while Kyle picks one called Soft and Smooshy. He goes in and ends up in a spongy mess, with his friends popping up soon after.

The walls close in but then they drop and they’re back outside again. Thank god, that was almost intense for a moment. Also, they find a tea bag which they think is a clue, along with the eye. A clue to…what, I don’t know.

They still don’t see any reason to leave, so next is the Merry Go Round. It seems okay until they see a sign warning them to not pull the brass ring. So of course Sammy pulls the brass ring, which makes the thing go faster.

After a struggle, they pull back hard on the reigns and stop it. Wow, that was so intense. Kyle wants to give up, but Sara wants to find more clues. What these clues are pointing to, I have no idea. So they decide to go on a Ferris Wheel so they can get high enough to spot some safer rides.

They get on, but discover it is actually called the “Fear Us” Wheel and it randomly stops at one point. Then a bunch of spiders appear, cuz why not. But don’t worry, the wheel starts moving and they get to the bottom. I love how these scenes end before they get into any real danger.

Next, they play a simple game were they hit targets, but whoops, the targets come alive or something. It’s some fish monster or something, and they run away. They ask a clown what is going on, but he is pretty useless, saying nothing and giving them a coin with a letter on it.

They get food next but of course it’s filled with worms. For some reason they find this hilarious and toss it aside. Also, Sara’s hot dog barks and no one cares. They wanna stay just to see where this is going, because this is engaging.

Next, they find a sign advertising a show and decide to partake in it. It involves Dr. Jekyll talking about his potion and then he hulks out and stuff. He gets under control and then Dr. Frankenstein pops up to present Frankenstein’s monster. And the monster is actually called that, so at least Tim got that right.

They escape the monster and get a few more letters. For those who care, so far they spell out “It’s only”. Because these kids are very intelligent, they wanna do more rides and pick the Tilt a Whirl. They get on and it just starts going faster.

“You would think that Dr. Shivers would come up with something different”

Man, when kids are roasting you…

Ghostly faces appear and things get scary but once again it stops before it gets too intense. Are you noticing a pattern yet? They get off and bump into a stage that has a ventriloquist and his dummy. Oh I can’t tell what this part will be “inspired” by. Then Kyle gets introspective.

“But this wasn’t a book’

It’s funny cuz it is.

The dummy tells bad jokes and then jumps on Sara’s lap. Then it turns out that the ventriloquist is also a dummy, I guess. Are we ripping off Bad Hare Day now? They escape and they finally decide that it would be a good idea to leave. But before they can, they get chased by a lion.

Yep, that happens. They spot a mummy’s tomb attraction and hide in there. As long as there’s no Gabe involved, I’m fine.

“This whole place gives me the Shivers”

“Yeah, Dr. Shivers”

…Not even the crickets like that one.

They turn around to leave when whoops, they bump into a mummy. One big and overly long chase scene later, Sara grabs a torch and tells the mummy to piss off. Okay, that was awesome.

But now it’s time to finally address the thing thar makes this series stand out among all the other rip offs. Kyle asks Sara how she got the idea to that and…well..

“I didn’t know else what to do but pray. And God gave me the courage to stand up to that mummy!”

…Yep. This is not just a Goosebumps ripoff: This is a CHRISTIAN Goosebumps ripoff. This is an actual thing that exists. And trust me, this is not the first example of a god reference in this book. These kids pray a lot and Kyle is always thinking of god and whatnot.

Now, I’m not religious and I’ve got no problem with this kind of stuff. But doing a Christian Goosebumps knockoff is rather…silly. Veggietales this is not. Thankfully, this isn’t Pureflix either. And yes, a lot of Tim’s other work reflects this too. So far, the Christian element hasn’t effected things too much but oh boy, just wait til we get to the end, there’s more to it. At least we finally have a Goosebumps series for Chris. T. Ian.

Anyway, let’s move on with Jesusbumps. Kyle then gets turned around and finds his friends missing, which sucks since they’re way more useful. But at least he has God on his side! Thankfully, he finds them and they finally get out of the place.

Again, they want to leave and forget the dumb mystery. But they bump into a barker who wants them to play a game so they figure why not, it’s not like things always go bad. It’s a simple hit the bottle type thing but then the barker is a monster-oh it’s just a mask.

Are we done yet?

Sammy grabs the mask and tries it on for fun. But then, he has trouble getting it off. I’m starting to think this author had no original ideas. It gets stuck to his face and he announces he is now following Dr. Shivers orders.

But oh wait, he was just kidding. I hate this character. He’s not very Christian. Suddenly, someone starts shooting at them and Sammy vanishes. A voice tells them that they have something they want, and they should to the tunnel of the weird.

“I think someone has kidnapped Sammy and we have to get him back. He’s probably at this tunnel of the Weird”

Gee, ya think?

After a quick prayer circle (Yes), they head over there. They hop on and it’s just a bunch of jump scares at first, until their car almost hits a blade. Thankfully they miss but man that actually came close to being dangerous and intense there. Things get back on track until some duds pop up and take the kids to take some dark place where Sammy is.

Through a series of events involving a ball, they manage to find a door that leads them outside. Then something tackles Ky-oh wait it’s just Sammy being dumb. How are we not done yet?!

It turns out they are on a giant mini-golf course, which feels like a contradiction. Kyle is finally useful as he plays a lot of golf and helps them avoid getting hit by giant golf balls. Is it sad that this kind of the best scene?

“I don’t feel so good”

Boy do I wish Thanos would just snap everyone away right now. Also, this chapter ends with a line of a dialogue, but there is no end quote, huh. (That happens one other time too, weird). After way too much of this, they end the final hole which leads them out.

It leads to a tram and before you can say boy the similarities to another Goosebumps book are starting to get shocking, a werewolf appears in the tram. Because why not at this point. After a bit of a ride, the werewolf gets off at his stop. Riveting.

The tram ends up back outside where they get their final clue and the final message, along with our big twist: It’s only a movie. Yep, Uncle Rex pops up and reveals that this was all the set of a made for TV movie with the biggest budget ever. They needed some kids and Kyle and his buddies fit the bill. Everything was fake somehow.

How did they fake half of this stuff? What was up with the blades and giant golf ball? Why make these kids think they were about to die many times? Did this inspire R.B. Farraday? This doesn’t even come close to making sense. Dr. Shivers was an actor that Kyle actually knows, he’s just slow on the uptake.

This is where the Christian element becomes a big feature. For some reason, they didn’t think kids could handle actual supernatural events so every single book reveals that it’s actually all fake in some way. So much so that they tell you on the back of the book!

Way to give away the ending and make reading these totally pointless. Oh but that’s not all.

“I’ve been concerned by all the books middle school kids are reading. Even worse is that some of them believe that stuff. I want kids to have fun but they need to separate what’s of God and what’s of the imagination”

Gee, I wonder what horror books he could possibly be referring to. Also, nothing says fun like almost killed by golf balls. Oh and Sammy knew the whole time, Rex filled him in and made sure they found the letters in the right order.

So yes, you’re not only fooling kids into reading this stuff, but you’re lecturing them on wanting to read it to begin with. Can’t help but find that a tad scummy but whatever. The worst part is that the footage they got will only be used for the opening credits! What a rip off!

With that, they all head back home.

“There’s nothing like this back in our little town”

This is a callback, I’ve just been skipping it. The end, thank god. Yes, I am aware of the irony of saying that.

Final Thoughts:

Oof. This was not good. But let’s get the positives out of the way, as this wasn’t totally awful. There were some decent bits here and there, like Sara fighting the mummy or the giant golf course. Sometimes there will be actual danger and that will actually work. There’s a few decent lines and some of the writing can be okay, like the description of Dr. Shivers.

Otherwise, this was a chore. For a 127 page book, it drags so much and never seems to end. A lot of the set pieces feel lame, since they aren’t allowed to get into any real danger. Except when they do I guess. Kyle is mostly a useless protagonist, as everyone does all the work for him, for the most part. Sammy is annoying but Sara was kind of awesome.

There’s some decent bits but this is overall a dull chore with a lame twist that makes no twist. The Christian stuff I can let slide since it’s for kids, but it can preachy for anyone not a kid. Then at the end the book scolds kids for wanting this to be actually scary to begin with. The series as a whole is like this but this seems to be the only one to full on admit it.

But hey, I see why they needed a series to establish that ghosts and such aren’t real. It’s not like the author of the series this is ripping off has tried to make it clear to his audience that this is all a fantasy-oh wait. Yay, this series is pointless.

And like I said, the back blurbs give it away so what is even the point of reading if it’s the same message every time? So yeah, this book and series in general is a bust. I won’t be reviewing more as they’re all the same anyway.

Now, I said there was a difference in the ones just called Spinechillers and there is: Those versions are De-Christian-ified. I’m not kidding. There’s a version of this book with most of the God references cut out, including that amazing mummy line. Even the scolding stuff at the end is cut, so at least the worst part is gone. I’m not sure why they did this, I guess to reach a wider audience but otherwise the story is the same.

So if you’re gonna read this, go for that one. But don’t read it, it’s not good. But hey. let’s read the preview of the second book!

“This whole thing gave me Goose bumps”

…We’re done here.

Rating: Meh

At least no one else had this idea

.

…Why.

Well, that was quite the April Fool’s. Next time, we start to look at series that aren’t godly at all, as we investigative a Strange Matter.

See ya.