Watch Out Ladies – This Rabbi Says Zumba (Yes, Zumba) Leads You To Prostitution

Thank god we have people like Brooklyn’s Rabbi Zecharia Wallerstein to raise this very important, not at all insane, point about everyone’s favorite cardiovascular workout – namely, that doing Zumba will almost certainly turn you into a filthy dirty sexy sex whore. He states his case very clearly around the 44 minute mark in a video (below) posted this summer, which has spent the last few days making the rounds among people who aren’t batshit crazy.

Says Rabbi Wallerstein:

Zumba will become pole (dancing). Pole will become prostitution…and you will lose all of your kids.

Well reasoned, o’ wise and learned sage!

The rant against the dangers of Zumba starts at about 39:00 and goes on for almost fifteen scholarly minutes. It’s sprinkled with yeshiva-isms and yiddish phrases, but it’s not too hard to follow:

It’s pretty clear that for Rabbi Wallerstein, Zumba is merely a conveyance for the catastrophic moral bankruptcy and sexual deviancy inherent in “Latin” and “Black” music, the dances for which he demonstrates at 44 minutes in (The horror! The horror!). He also, at one point describes this as “dancing like an animal,” which is to say that Rabbi Wallerstein sounds niiiiice and racist.

So, for those of you playing Jewish racist/xenophobic bingo feel free to cover the “Zumba” square (Should be right next to the one for the so-called “knockout game“) and call it a day.

[via The Jewish Chronicle]