It's alright. Even if I'm all alone, I'll survive

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

I'm tired of everyone. People don't have an ounce of consideration. I mean, I have a serious height complex and everyone knows that. Still, they insist on calling me "Palmtop Tiger". Well, it's not my fault that they get on my nerves; I can't help but snap back at them. People are so annoying.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

It's not like I want to think they're annoying. It's just kinda hard to think anything else when your parents are...well...when they're not really your parents anymore.

My dad was pretty rich and my mom was a pretty good mom I guess. Apparently my dad didn't think so. By the time I was old enough to see the world around me, the only thing I didn't see was a happy family.

I guess I was the only one that wasn't happy though. My dad has a new wife to tend to. My mom has a new family of tall children.

Who am I kidding? I'll never fit in anywhere.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

Even if I'm alone, I'll survive.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

There's one person who isn't annoying though. Responsible, calm, introspective, humorous, smart...not enough words can describe him well enough to do him justice.

Others see me. The small, belligerent, short-tempered me.

But he actually sees me. The me that other people can't. The me that wants to make friends. The me who is lonely. The me that wants to be loved.

And I love him.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

I love him to the point of blushing whenever I see him. When he's near, suddenly language means nothing to me. If he's in the room, every muscle fiber in my body tingles like an electric shock. When he talks to me, the blood that rushes to my face seems hot enough to set the world ablaze.

Kitamura was worth living for.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

So with my brilliant mind, I decided on a super original idea to convey my uncontrollable feelings: a love letter.

Oh god, I'm such an idiot. Kitamura doesn't sit in that seat. By the time I realized it, another "he" was there.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

That's when I met him.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

An annoying, rude, persistent, feminine, vulgar, dog of a man. Just the worst type of delinquent to get ahold of my letter. Well, since I wasn't ready to kill myself, I guess I'll just have to kill the witness.

So I stalked him to his house. Conveniently, he lived right next door. I didn't think too much of it since he'll be dead by tonight anyways.

I would've never guessed...

I would've never guessed that he was a clean freak. That he could cook the most delicious meals in the world. That he alone took responsibility for his apartment. That he cared for a bird. That he took care of his single mother. That he could get embarrassed too. That he loved someone too.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

Well, there's no way I could kill someone who just fed me and poured his deepest, darkest secrets about his imaginary dates and stalker photos out to me. And I also forgot to actually put the love letter in the envelope too, so I guess that's that. Hell, I never get this lucky.

But wait, he has a crush on my best friend...? After he showed me his embarrassing photos, date plans, and love letters, I just had to help this pitiful dog.

So I made a deal: you help me out with Kitamura, I'll help you out with Minori.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

I didn't expect too much: even if I'm alone, I'll survive.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

But why do I feel this way?

He's just helping me out. Why am I starting to depend on him? He's just a classmate. Why does he cook for me everyday? He likes my best friend. Why am I smiling with him all the time?

How come I, who can survive even if I'm alone, can trust him?

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

No. I still like Kitamura. Kitamura is the only one for me...

Right?

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

Why do I even trust him? He's a liar and a jerk.

He told me that I could be together with my father again. I believed him. What a joke.

He told me that we were just friends and nobody would get the wrong idea. I believed him. What a joke.

He told me that he doesn't care for me at all. I believed him. What a joke.

He told me that Kitamura was the only one I liked. I believed him.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

What a joke.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

If I'm alone...

Will I survive?

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

When did this happen?

When did I start loving his food? When did I start climbing through his window? When did I start thinking of his mom as a mother? When did I start yelling at his parrot with him? When did I start doing everything with him?

When did I start feeling this pain?

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

I love Minori. She's my best friend. I could never hate her, not in a million years. So why?

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

Christmas time. My favorite. To get presents from Santa, I gotta be a good girl! Oh, I know. I'll help him out with Minori even more!

I'll help him...

I...

I just wanted to be with him that night.

I was happy when he came. I thought his bear Santa costume was hilarious. I liked how the room brightened up, even though there was only one candle. I admired how he kept pretending to be Santa for me, even when I knew it was him.

I didn't want him to leave.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

But I'm stupid. I'm such an idiot. Am I selfless? Am I selfish? I don't know anymore. What I do know is that when I told him to make up with Minori, I cried.

I don't want to be alone again.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

If I'm alone...

I don't think I'll survive anymore.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

But my body moves on its own. If he can be happy with Minori, I'll do anything. Scratch that, if he can be happy, I'll do anything.

In fact, I fell down that ski slope for him. To grab his stupid gift for Minori that fell down.

And God, I'm such an idiot. I blacked out and didn't even find it. What the hell was I thinking? And Kitamura had to come save me. God, I'm so embar...

Why am I not embarrassed anymore?

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

In fact, why did I tell Kitamura everything? Why did I reveal myself? Why was I true to myself now when I hid behind a facade my whole life?

Was this even Kitamura carrying me?

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

If I'm alone...

I'd definitely die.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

There's nothing like a good betrayal by your friends.

Couldn't they just help me preserve my pride? Couldn't they just let me believe that Kitamura was the one who saved me? Couldn't they just let me keep living this life, where I can be with him everyday? Couldn't they just let me take the safe route out?

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

Minori loved him too. She said that she loved him since the beginning. But the thing is, she said, she couldn't love him...

Not when I loved him more.

So they knew all along, huh?

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

If I'm alone...

Will I still be alone?

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

There's just something about you.

Something in you that I didn't see at first. You were never the dog that took you for at first. How could you be? You love to clean. You love to cook. Every morning, you would come clean my room and cook my breakfast. The only thing on that straight forward brain of yours was helping me achieve what I wanted. You always put me first, ahead of yourself, ahead of your needs, ahead of everything. I owe so much to you. It's because of you that I can trust people now. I have so many more friends. I don't worry about being made fun of anymore. And it's all because of you.

You're a great friend.

Just kidding.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

When we jumped off that bridge into the water that day, a different confession was on my lips.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

I love you.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

Sorry for everything I put you through. Sorry for yelling at you. Sorry for punching you. Sorry for making fun of you. Sorry for calling you a dog. Sorry for not being able to help you enough. Sorry for clinging to you. Sorry for not showing you how much you mean to me.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

Sorry for leaving you one last time and scaring the crap out of you. But hey, I came back right? You probably weren't too mad at me anyways, since your first words to me when I came back were "I love you".

Isn't that great? I love you too. I always have.

Let's be together forever.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

My name is Aisaka Taiga.

Even if I'm alone...

I'll never be alone again.

As long as I'm with Takasu Ryuuji,

I'll survive.

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------

Written by Kami-senpai

---------------------------------------------------

---------------------------------------------------