Motherhood begins when you carry that child for nine months. Despite the difficult and often strenuous act of giving birth, when the baby arrives, women may be filled with joy and love. But then new parents are sent home with a new human being to care for, and the baby is on a repetitive cycle of feeding, peeing, sleeping and crying. While caring for their infants, many mothers begin to feel unhappy or disconnected from their babies. The feelings of guilt can become overwhelming since women have often been told that this is supposed to be the happiest time of their lives. Though there is less stigma around maternal mental health than there was a few years ago, many mothers are hesitant to share their feelings of inadequacy, for fear of being judged. No woman wants to feel like she is not a good mother.

About eight years ago, along with a friend who is a perinatal psychiatrist, I began speaking about breastfeeding and mental health at various conferences, and meeting with faculty in psychiatry, obstetrics and gynecology and family medicine at various institutions. During this time, we realized how much misinformation was out there. Many physicians told mothers to stop breastfeeding before they would prescribe them antidepressants (often selective serotonin reuptake inhibitors, or S.S.R.I.s). One psychiatrist in an academic department told me: “After a month, I told my patient she had breastfed long enough. I told her to stop so I could restart her medications.” At that point, I was speechless.

Luckily, this approach is gradually changing. Obstetricians and psychiatrists are becoming more comfortable medicating breastfeeding women suffering from postpartum depression and anxiety, and increased screening by pediatricians means that mothers who are suffering from postpartum depression and anxiety are being identified earlier. The openness of celebrities like Chrissy Teigen and Serena Williams about their postpartum mental health struggles has helped to raise awareness while reducing stigma, and more breastfeeding mothers are asking for help.

I counsel mothers that the S.S.R.I. medications usually used to treat postpartum depression and anxiety are safe to take while breastfeeding; this class of drug has been around a long time, giving us a great deal of information on its safety profile. In fact, the Academy of Breastfeeding Medicine has published a protocol so that all physicians and health professionals have access to the evidence when treating postpartum mental health conditions in breastfeeding mothers. No one should be telling a mother who is suffering from postpartum depression or anxiety that she has to make a choice between medication and breastfeeding.

Unfortunately, I still see pregnant mothers who either stop taking or decrease the dosage of their psychiatric medications, for fear of harming their babies. Even though there is little scientific evidence linking these medications to any harmful effects on the fetus, pregnant women are terrified. Untreated depression and anxiety during pregnancy is the biggest risk factor for postpartum depression and anxiety, the effects of which are far-reaching: It can cause family dysfunction, prevent effective mother-baby bonding, cause early cessation of breastfeeding and adversely affect infant growth and brain development. Providers must weigh the potential risk of medication alongside the risk of untreated depression on the fetus and on the infant. But suggesting to mothers that they should just hang on and wait for these feelings to pass is not only irresponsible, but dangerous.