Seldon turned the key to his door, but the door did not open. He banged his gargantuan forehead at the door, and it swung open.

Leonardo was seated on the right side of the couch. "Trans women are hilarious!" he greeted with a chuckle.

Shelmon shrugged. "Bazigan!" He skipped halfheartedly over to his sitting space.

Leonard put his hands to his opposite hips. "Shandol, what do you want, you anxiety disorder-afflicted fork?"

Shelly booted his roomie in the left shin. "That's where I Bangzia!"

Leo twirled to the left side. "Misandry is real," he chuffed.

In entered Howie and Rag to thunderous applause which lasted for 40 minutes. "Tit," Howwd said drooling.

"You are Jewish, which is funny," Leonard pointed. This was funny because Howard was Jewish.

"T-" Raj began.

"Ha-ha! G-dook g-dook g-dook hinduism hinduism!" the rest of the group mocked. Rajh began sobbing.

"Bragunzi!" Siedol interjected.

Pennis came into the room boob-first. "You guys are such nerds heehhaahehahhheeeah," she smoked.

"A boob?" Howard bobbed his head. "But how is a boob speaking? A boob can't talk. Shut up, penny! Shut up, penny!"

Peen drank.

Amy stumbled in. "I have an actual Ph.D in real life. Why the fuck did I sign up for this."

Shan put a hand to his so-called lover's armpit. "Briljanga!" he supported.

The cast gathered in the center of the room and locked hands in a circle. "It is time," Lennox whispered. The six of them began lifting and lowering their arms in unision while shouting xenophobic jokes about the Vietnamese.

Bernadette rose from the center of the congregation. She screeched a single, unrelenting tone, releasing toxic levels of helium into the room. Everyone collapsed, unconscious.

Five minutes after Bernadette had returned to the depths, the semi-diverse friend group began coming to. Everyone, that is, except Shelgon.

"My roomlove!" wept Army. "Speak to me. Now. That's an order"

Skrillex opened his eyes. "Bruschetta!" he uttered before falling into the external slumber.