Photograph from Getty images, used for illustrative purposes, posed by models

Editors’ note: Pornography affects the dating relationships of many young adults in a variety of ways. The experiences we share in the young adult section this month represent circumstances and decisions unique to each author. They are offered for perspective as you seek personal revelation for your own individual circumstances.

I met my husband when we were both EFY counselors. I was impressed by his strong testimony and the way he taught and interacted with the youth.

When we started dating, we felt like the Lord expected something from our relationship. As our relationship progressed, however, he became more insistent in the way he showed affection. I started suspecting he had difficulties with pornography, but when we talked about it, he denied that he had any problems with it.

We started setting stricter rules to protect ourselves. When he proposed, I accepted and things got better﻿—until one day when, once again, he started insisting on showing me he loved me in ways that made me uncomfortable.

I still had my suspicions about his pornography use, so one day I told him about one of my mission companions who had struggled with pornography before her mission. I did my best to sound understanding, loving, and nonjudgmental, because she truly is a good person. I then asked him again if he had a pornography addiction, and he finally told me he did.

Hurt and Healing At first, it was hard for me to talk to him and look him in the eyes. My feelings were almost unbearable because I felt that the Lord had told me that this man could be my eternal companion. But even though I was hurt, I knew I needed to work toward forgiving him, and I felt prompted to not give up on our relationship. I prayed a lot and studied talks about forgiveness and pornography use. I read a lot of articles and testimonies of married people whose spouses had struggles with this poison. As I read, I felt the Savior’s love for me and my fiancé, and I received another confirmation that this man was truly my eternal companion. I also learned a different aspect of the Savior’s Atonement﻿—how He can heal a repentant soul (my fiancé’s) and a bruised heart (mine). An important factor in our journey was talking to my fiancé’s bishop. His guidance helped us to heal and grow closer as a couple. He was very patient when my husband relapsed, and his Christlike, loving example inspired and helped me to forgive and work through this problem with my fiancé. For a while, it was so hard for my fiancé to see me suffer because of his choices that he almost didn’t want to marry me anymore! But after working together for months for him to be clean, he finally felt that both the Lord and I had sincerely forgiven him. Eventually, we got married, and our relationship is now stronger than ever. This experience has helped us not be ashamed to talk to each other about our problems. And although he is no longer involved with pornography, we still remain very attentive and accountable to each other.