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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill's 12:30 Report: Pence defends response, says Trump never 'belittled' virus threat | Outbreak shakes up 2020 politics | Markets drop on grim prediction from White House | Trump officials project virus could kill 100-240K Americans | Infrastructure talk picks up | Biden allies grumble at Sanders staying in race | Dolly Parton to read bedtime stories online | Wimbledon canceled | Buttigieg gets buzz cut, grows beard

IN THE WHITE HOUSE

Vice President Pence just appeared on CNN:

CNN's Wolf Blitzer just finished an interview with Vice President Pence, who is visiting a Walmart Distribution Center in Virginia this morning. https://bit.ly/3aAW9Cz

THE HIGHLIGHTS:

This is important -- Pence compared U.S.'s outbreak to Italy: "We think Italy may be the most comparable area to the United States at this point." https://bit.ly/2X76aDT

Pence blamed China for the U.S.'s response to the outbreak: "The reality is we could have been better off if China had been more forthcoming." https://bit.ly/3bFAsBx

On the president's response: "Asked about [President Trump Donald John TrumpBarr criticizes DOJ in speech declaring all agency power 'is invested in the attorney general' Military leaders asked about using heat ray on protesters outside White House: report Powell warns failure to reach COVID-19 deal could 'scar and damage' economy MORE] comparing coronavirus to automobile accidents and the seasonal flu, [Vice President Pence] says: 'The president is an optimistic person.' " https://bit.ly/3dKXNDz

^ Pence also said: "I don't believe the president has ever belittled the threat of the coronavirus." https://bit.ly/3bIOW3u

On whether Americans should wear masks: "CDC is looking at the issue of masks as a protective move. We will have a recommendation for the president at the appropriate time." https://bit.ly/2wIvKnT

Video of Pence's Walmart Distribution Center visit: https://bit.ly/3bCai2u

Today is the first day of April -- but it is not April Fools' Day. That has been canceled this year. I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com -- and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook.

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Crossed wires in coronavirus aid:

Via Politico's Natasha Bertrand, Gabby Orr, Daniel Lippman and Nahal Toosi, "last week, a Trump administration official working to secure much-needed protective gear for doctors and nurses in the United States had a startling encounter with counterparts in Thailand. The official asked the Thais for help--only to be informed by the puzzled voices on the other side of the line that a U.S. shipment of the same supplies, the second of two so far, was already on its way to Bangkok." https://politi.co/2ytiWSV

Reaction from the White House: "Trump aides were alarmed when they learned of the exchange, and immediately put the shipment on hold while they ordered a review of U.S. aid procedures. Crossed wires would only confuse our allies, they worried, or worse--offend them. And Americans confronting a surging death toll and shortages of medical equipment back home would likely be outraged."

The full story: https://politi.co/2ytiWSV

WHERE THINGS STAND

The sobering numbers from the White House: During yesterday's briefing, Deborah Birx, a physician and the White House's coronavirus response coordinator, explained the models showing between 100,000 and 240,000 Americans could die from COVID-19. Without any intervention, 1.5 million to 2.2 million people could die. https://bit.ly/2WZACzB

The New York Times's Peter Baker puts yesterday's briefing into perspective: "Started covering the White House in 1996 and it's hard to remember many briefings as grim or sober as this one. The best case scenarios outlined today envision about twice as many dead Americans as the entire Vietnam War or more." https://bit.ly/3aA4CWx

Bookmark this: Here are the coronavirus data by state: https://bit.ly/2R3lZHD

New numbers on New York Police Department officers: "17% of NYPD officers now out sick. 1418 have tested positive for COVID-19" (Via CNN's Jim Sciutto) https://bit.ly/3aDcMNW

NEWS THIS MORNING

Stocks dropped again this morning:

Stock markets fell at the opening bell this morning after the White House's projections of a "painful" two weeks with 100,000 to 240,000 possible COVID-19 deaths in the U.S. https://bit.ly/2UwxOrY

The numbers: "In the first minutes of trading, the Dow Jones Industrial Average was down over 800 points, or 3.7 percent, while the S&P 500 fell 90 points, or 3.6 percent."

Wimbledon is canceled:

This summer's Wimbledon tennis tournament has been canceled amid coronavirus fears.

The announcement on Twitter: "It is with great regret that the AELTC [All England Lawn Tennis Club] has today decided that The Championships 2020 will be cancelled due to public health concerns linked to the coronavirus epidemic. The 134th Championships will instead be staged from 28 June to 11 July 2021." https://bit.ly/2xEt8HK

Read the full announcement: https://bit.ly/2xJBAFm

IN CONGRESS

The next phase of an economic stimulus -- is it 'Infrastructure Week' again?:

Via The Hill's Mike Lillis and Scott Wong, "the coronavirus and its devastating effect on the economy is giving an old idea new traction with leaders in both parties: trillions of dollars in infrastructure spending." https://bit.ly/2Uwyj5k

Details: "President Trump on Tuesday called for $2 trillion in new public works programs as a national economic lifeline, backing an idea promoted by Speaker Nancy Pelosi Nancy PelosiPowell warns failure to reach COVID-19 deal could 'scar and damage' economy Overnight Defense: House to vote on military justice bill spurred by Vanessa Guillén death | Biden courts veterans after Trump's military controversies Intelligence chief says Congress will get some in-person election security briefings MORE (D-Calif.) just a day earlier. Rank-and-file lawmakers on both sides of the aisle have quickly joined the chorus, framing infrastructure as a commonsense strategy for creating jobs amid mass layoffs sparked by the fast-spreading coronavirus pandemic."

Keep in mind: "Infrastructure has been on Capitol Hill's back burner for almost a year, after a brief and acrimonious White House meeting between Trump and Democratic leaders in May ended with the president lashing out at Pelosi and storming out of the room."

LIGHT TIDBITS

Heroes: "The cleaning staff at our hospitals are hardly ever mentioned and they also deserve a tribute!" Video of a hospital tribute for the cleaning staff: https://bit.ly/39AWfJh

Happy news to celebrate: Via Buzzfeed's David Mack, "a neighborhood celebrated a teen's last chemo session with a coronavirus-appropriate parade." Photos and the full story: https://bit.ly/2w4lHsO Video of the parade for Coco: https://bit.ly/39vN64J

A new nighttime activity for kids: Every Thursday at 7 p.m. EDT, Dolly Parton will read a bedtime story to children, streamed on YouTube. This week's debut: "The Little Engine That Could," by Watty Piper. Details: https://n.pr/3aBs9Xc

Awww, this is cute:

Good family friend’s daughter turned 21 last night. She should have been abroad, celebrating with friends, but she is stuck at home in VA. So her dad opened a “bar” in the garage — it’s great. Dads are awesome, am I right? pic.twitter.com/Uv0JzSwWPr — Kate Bennett (@KateBennett_DC) April 1, 2020

ON THE CAMPAIGN TRAIL

Coronavirus changes everything:

Via The Hill's Alexander Bolton, "The coronavirus pandemic has upended the normal political calculus for the 2020 election, and party leaders are trying to best calibrate their political messages on the crisis heading into November." https://bit.ly/2WZCB75

What about Trump's approval?: "[President Trump's] approval rating has ticked up slightly since the crisis, and he earns good marks in polls on his handling of it."

What about for Dems?: "The crisis has put Trump in the spotlight and sucked oxygen out of the race for the Democratic presidential nomination, leaving former Vice President Joe Biden and Sen. Bernie Sanders Bernie SandersSenate Republicans signal openness to working with Biden Hillicon Valley: DOJ indicts Chinese, Malaysian hackers accused of targeting over 100 organizations | GOP senators raise concerns over Oracle-TikTok deal | QAnon awareness jumps in new poll Schumer, Sanders call for Senate panel to address election security MORE (I-Vt.) on the sidelines."

Biden's role is tough: "While the Trump administration's efforts to contain the spread of infections and the economic carnage likely to result from the pandemic will give Democrats opportunity to attack in the fall, Biden's relative lack of visibility is causing some Democrats concern."

THE POLITICAL WORLD IS GRAPPLING WITH A LONG SHUTDOWN:

https://bit.ly/3dRk3Mr

Meanwhile, Team Biden is grumbling about Bernie:

Via The Hill's Amie Parnes and Jonathan Easley, "Joe Biden Joe BidenThe Memo: Warning signs flash for Trump on debates Senate Republicans signal openness to working with Biden National postal mail handlers union endorses Biden MORE's allies are privately grumbling that Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) will not get out of the presidential race, preventing the party from uniting ahead of the general election." https://bit.ly/2Jx7I1W

Why Biden allies are worried: "Sanders's decision to stay in the race has Democrats worried they are repeating the problems of 2016, when a long primary fight was seen as hurting Hillary Clinton Hillary Diane Rodham ClintonBarr criticizes DOJ in speech declaring all agency power 'is invested in the attorney general' Virginia Democrat blasts Trump's 'appalling' remark about COVID-19 deaths in 'blue states' The Hill's Campaign Report: Biden asks if public can trust vaccine from Trump ahead of Election Day | Oklahoma health officials raised red flags before Trump rally MORE, the eventual nominee."

Plus: "At the same time, frustration is growing among some of Biden's aides and allies behind the scenes, as the coronavirus pandemic has effectively sidelined Biden and President Trump's approval rating has been on the rise. Team Biden believes that it's impossible for him to fully pivot to taking on Trump while Sanders is still in the race, and there are growing fears that they're losing valuable time."

Op-ed: https://bit.ly/342qnMl

Is that you, Pete?:

NOTABLE TWEETS

Come on, Google Docs:

NO, GOOGLE DOCS! ARE YOU TRYING TO GET US ALL INFECTED?! pic.twitter.com/6EfjToVgeG — Josh Billinson (@jbillinson) March 31, 2020

ON TAP:

The House and Senate are out. President Trump and Vice President Pence are in Washington, D.C.

10:20 a.m. EDT: Vice President Pence toured the Walmart Distribution Center in Zion Crossroads, Va.

Noon: President Trump received an intelligence briefing.

2:30 p.m. EDT: President Trump participates in a phone call with military families.

3 p.m. EDT: Vice President Pence leads a White House Coronavirus Task Force meeting.

April 8: The series finale to "Modern Family."

WHAT TO WATCH

This morning: New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo Andrew Cuomo44 percent of high earners have considered leaving New York City: poll Media's anti-Trump coronavirus spin has real consequences In defense of Trump's efforts to quell pandemic panic MORE (D) held a press briefing. Livestream: https://bit.ly/340rxYK

5 p.m. EDT: The White House Coronavirus Task Force holds a press briefing. Livestream: https://bit.ly/3aLDEeE

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Sourdough Bread Day.

Today in the happy news we all need:

A family of orangutans in a Belgian zoo have become friends with otters. The photos are incredible: https://cnn.it/2JvJPHY

And because we all miss watching sports, check out the highly competitive eating final between two dogs, Olive and Mabel: https://bit.ly/2wK05CA

^ Before you watch, does anyone want to take bets on who will win? Here are the two, fierce competitors: