Local software engineer Dante Mason-Fernandez launched “SpangLish” last week, a new programming language that utilizes Spanish and English prompts as well as colloquial terms.

The Plantain met up with Mr. Mason-Fernandez, a 2015 WynCode graduate, to ask the local programmer about his new creation. “The language is made up of an unusual combination of declarative and imperative programming theories,” explained Mr. Mason-Fernandez to this confused reporter, to which I nodded as if fully understanding. “Its a hybrid that incorporates elements from each of its parents. That allows SpangLish to offer both a verbose style and precise execution,” continued Mr. Mason-Fernandez, to which I coyly responded “Fascinating,” which really sold the appearance of comprehension.

Another unique aspect of SpangLish is its vocabulary, which directly incorporates Spanglish terms and local slang like “bro” (for a sibling or parallel process), “chequear” (an internal system monitor), and “cant_even” (for any type of error) into its syntax.

Mr. Mason-Fernandez deliberately incorporated such neologisms into his language in order to highlight its bi-cultural identity. “It gives clarity to engineers,” explained Mr. Mason-Fernandez. “For example, the Spanglish idiom ’Fromlostiano,’ which literally means ‘from lost to the river’ is used as a declarative method for adding any two large numbers together. Another important linguistic element is ‘Yo-Yo Boing!’, which I use to define a finite recursive computational process.” “Wow”, I said slowly as I Googled “recursive computational process“.

The new language, however, is not without its critics. Dr. Norm Strompson, a computer science professor at FSU, took issue with the language’s “lack of purity”, calling its combination of different theoretical programming paradigms “lazy”.

“How can you permit an unbounded change of state, untrusted communications, and open data transport buses without risking the integrity of the invariants or ensuring timely performance?” Asked Dr. Strompson. I didn’t know how to respond, so I just stared blankly at the balding professor until he broke his own silence: “Eventually, any program written in this language will become too large and impossible to manage.”

Dr. Strompson also found the language’s lack of strict data types and independent processes “philosophically troubling,” but admitted that he was also just sort of being picky.

By George Mitchell