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A classmate asked me about my use of singular “they” and its conjugations. I expected my response to be short; ’twas not. Here is the exchange which occurred:

Sean, may I ask if you prefer “they” purely as a rejection of gender labels or if you feel that both masculine and feminine pronouns describe you and choose not to be defined by one or the other? Or another reason altogether? The preferred use of non-gendered pronouns is new to me, so any clarification would be helpful.

My response:

Those are very good questions. I’ll answer in reverse order.

“Mx.” pronounced as “Mix,” is a proposed neutral honorific. Lucky for me I’ve chosen the path of academia for my career and will be able to use Dr. in the future, which has already been somewhat neutralized by the woman’s movement (I say somewhat because there are still some fields that are heavily gendered like medicine).

As for my use of singular/neutral “they,” I identify as agender (without a gender identity) for specificity and neutrois (a superposition of the 7 nontrivial permutations of agender, third gender, and non-binary) for poetic ambiguity. The neutral pronoun serves me better than either traditionally gendered pronouns because it reflects my identity most clearly.

That being said, I also have a sociological reason for using singular they. Of the proposed neutral pronouns, “they” has the best chance of quick adoption into the English language as it is already in use as a plural and ambiguous pronoun. Also, I believe that the invocation of a person into a conversation through the use of traditionally gendered pronouns bears the weight of historical patriarchy on that person in an implicit and insidious way, whereas that person should reasonably only be judged on their own history of action and verbiage. Hence, I am an advocate for the gradual transition of the entire lexicon toward the complete omission of pronouns other than a singular neutral one, even if it is not “they” specifically. Though I place my bid on “they” for the reasons listed above.

I trust I make myself obscure.

–Sean P. Campbell