Lately, there has been a lot of discussion and awareness surrounding the subject of introverts. It used to be a dirty word, but with the release of Susan Cain’s book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts” and other respectable folks coming out as introverts, it’s finally become a bit more accepted and understood. And before you ask: no, not all introverts have social anxiety. There are plenty of introverts who are far from shy, and — who knows — you might even have a few friends who’ve successfully kept their introverted habits private.

So, where do you fall on the introvert vs extrovert spectrum? Check out this breakdown of various real-life events detailing how an introvert and an extrovert would react:

Grocery shopping

The introvert: “Hopefully I can get my milk and cereal as quickly as possible, without running into anyone I know.”

The extrovert: “Just another lovely day at the store. I’ll just peruse all the aisles peacefully, since I’m in no real rush.”

To the introvert, small talk is just plain excruciating. And let’s be honest here: nobody is interested in meaningful conversation at the grocery store. It just doesn’t happen. Nobody’s interested in why you buy all-organic oranges. It’s not you; it’s just not the time or place. Grocery store interactions seem to be about 99% small talk, so the introvert’s goal is to get out of there as soon as humanely possible.

Public transit

The introvert: “Let me put on these headphones before anyone talks to me. I’ll just stare out the window and look eagerly for my stop.”

The extrovert: Enjoys the bus ride distraction-free and smiling. May strike up conversation with the person sitting next to them.

It seems as though most introverts I know vouch for a car over public transportation. The ones who do take the bus all experience that all-too-common bus thought, “Is the person next to me going to do their own thing, or are they going to ask me 50 run-of-the-mill questions as I try to read?”. And, of course, even if you give your bus neighbor short responses (with your headphones on, while simultaneously reading a book), they don’t always pick up on those cues.

Parties

The introvert: Wondering why they agreed to attend the party, and actively planning an escape route. Makes frequent trips to the kitchen to be excused from small talk.

The extrovert: The life of the party, feeling more and more alive with every conversation.

Parties are a haven for entertainment to extroverts, but to most introverts, they are akin to those cracks in the ground that we’d avoid stepping on as children. In other words: It must be avoided at all costs!

Small talk

The introvert: Avoids it like the plague. Prefers deep conversation with a close friend.

The extrovert: Doesn’t really mind talking about the weather, and can actually make it sound ridiculously fascinating.

And let’s not forget that human are complex creatures, so in reality, many of us are actually hybrids. Then there are those who might swing to one extreme side of the spectrum, too — and that’s OK.

I’ve heard many generalizations like, “So-and-so loves parties, so I really doubt they’re an introvert”. But you know, even though most parties aren’t my thing, I know of many fellow introverts who love a good party. Their secret? They only attend parties when they’re absolutely 100% in the mood, and they go with a good friend who mentally stimulates them (someone who won’t BS them with small talk).