FORMER RBS chief Fred Goodwin is enjoying another lovely day while you pay off his debts.

As it emerged that Goodwin will cost Britain at least £7 billion, the ex-banker was toying with the idea of playing some golf and then going somewhere really nice for lunch.

Goodwin said: “I’m in the mood for fish today. No – scratch that – prawns, really big, juicy prawns. And some Chablis.

“What are you guys up to?”

Martin Bishop, from Stevenage, said: “I’ll be at my desk eating this sandwich I made at home because I haven’t had a pay rise since, oh let me think, two thousand and fucking eight.

“Now, what was it that happened back then? Oh yeah, it was you, fucking the fuck out of everything.”

Pulling on his golf sweater, Goodwin said: “If I was George Osborne I’d hang on to those RBS shares because I think they’re going to rocket in value. Trust me, I used to ‘dabble’ in finance. So, where did we get to on lunch?”

Bishop added: “Why aren’t you in jail?”