To Spice Things Up For The World Series, MLB Will Allow Use Of The Bat As A Weapon While Rounding The Bases

Game one of the World Series between the Washington Nationals and the Houston Astros will begin later today at Minute Maid Park in Houston, Texas, and what better game to debut a new rule that Commissioner Rob Manfred hopes will help baseball regain the position of the United States’ most popular sport. Instead of discarding the bats after getting a hit, players will now be allowed to carry the bat with them as they round the bases. While they’ll be free to use the bat however they like while standing on base or running between bases, the strategic advantage will be the ability to incapacitate basemen.

The impetus of this new rule was Manfred’s recognition of the vacuum being created in the sports market with the NFL’s increasing concern for player safety. “The violence in the NFL is at an all-time low and decreasing season over season,” Manfred said in a statement. “The public needs some kind of outlet in order to satisfy their innate bloodlust, otherwise you get things like the Salem witch trials, the satanic panic of the 80s and 90s, or disco fever.”

Alongside the addition of violence to the game, the new bat rule should also increase scoring, as defenders struggle to combat the whirling weapons. The rule had a trial run in a Division Series game a few weeks ago, wherein the St. Louis Cardinals bashed the Atlanta Braves in a 13 to 1 victory.

The MLB may need a few seasons and some minor adjustments to the rule before taking the popularity mantle from the NFL, but hopefully the brutality can mend the nation’s growing societal animosity caused by the NFL’s abatement of savagery.