Moving On With Life

In the aftermath of their criminal cases, both players blamed their former wives for derailing their careers — a point of contention that continues. Ms. Sands said her reaction was: “I’m not the cause of that; your actions were.”

Mr. Sands said he hoped to get another chance in the N.F.L. He said that if people searched online for his name, “I look like a bad guy, and she looks like Miss Goody Two Shoes.”

He added, “People know this whole thing should be in reverse.”

Both women said they were constantly battling to get child support. They have had to scrape to get by, they said, but they have moved on. Ms. Sands, who still lives in the Cincinnati area, is modeling and acting while running an online business. Ms. Underwood has a home with her three sons near Dayton. She is a personal trainer and the assistant manager of a gym.

“I wish I could tell that scared little girl that three years on, I’d be happy with a good job and a house,” Ms. Underwood said. “I would have thought that was crazy.”

She sometimes hears from women she met around the N.F.L., she said. They want to know how she broke away — and if they can do it, too. “The girls forget how strong they are,” she said.

This year, one player’s wife texted her: “I am so unhappy and want to file for divorce but the thought of doing this all on my own scares the crap out of me! I look at you and am blown away at how strong of a woman you are. You are such a great role model for all of us.”

Ms. Underwood wrote back, “I would love to talk to you.”