Now we're not confining ridiculous behaviour to the English by any means - we hope to bring you more of this segment from around the globe but we decided to begin with the English because of their long history of convict behaviour.

Seems one genius down in Somerset, out on an evening stroll (See YouTube below) happened upon a few lazy ladders lying around in neighbor Barrie Smith’s yard and decided he would lighten him of his laddering load.

Unfortunately for the dumb bastard he was caught red handed for the simple reason the ladders belonged to a feller whose job it is to install security cameras. Thus his front yard was rigged up like MI5 or Scotland Yard or any number of institutions where you can’t fart without it being seen.

Furthermore according to Mr Smith who seems quite diligent at his job the thief made classic errors – he wore easily identifiable clothing, looked directly at the camera – was too lazy to change his clothing making the Old Bill’s job a lot easier when they nabbed him cause he was still in it! He’s on probation after being easily located via his Facebook page.

Our personal favourite was the car thief who copped it fair in the noggin with luminous spray that essentially shouts to the world – “This fucker's A Car Thief!” After he broke into a car hoping to be off with a sneaky laptop Yafet Askale was coated with an invisible spray that turns luminous green in ultra violet light. We’re not sure where he was apprehended but we’re hoping it was Tesco’s Express – express to 49 hours community service – dear lord, judge that’s not even a full working week! And Askale was ordered to pay 400 quid. Looks like he'll probably be out to nick another laptop to clear his fine - but guaranteed he'll be checking for Smart Water, this new invention that the Old Bill highly recommend installing. A safety measure sure to make people green with envy!

But by far the most Layer Cake moment in the research of this article came when we read about Stoke-On-Trent duo Colin Roberts and Mandy Coghlan who might have sampled a tad too much of their own product when they called the police to report their £10,000 cannabis farm had been stolen!

It's believed the Old Bill were certain they were being had a lend of but tottered out to investigate on a whim because it was tea break.

The couple from Weeds Are Us realized their error when the Old Bill arrived and Mandy panicking got out the air rifle and attempted a few pot shots at the Rozz’s which never escalated to a siege environment because old Mandy in her state of extreme paranoia whipped out to the yard and started threatening suicide with a piece of glass, at which point Colin decided to revert back to communication, claiming the product they were growing was to help alleviate his Crohn’s Disease. We can presume he’s got it pretty bad to be turning out a gazebo set up in an upstairs bedroom with 16 pots and about £2,000 of un-smoked pot lying around.

The pair pleaded guilty and will spend 12 months in the Old Bailey. The judge wasn’t prepared to leave it to chance the couple will reform their toking ways while banged up and has given Roberts a further 240 hours of unpaid work and Coghlan a minimum of 12 sessions with an alcohol and drug support service. We’re recommending she does a little more with a therapist for the random acts of trying to kill others and herself after calling for help in the first place. Seriously – this is gold!