Martin Shkreli, an extremely lifelike Chucky doll who managed to parlay a history of price-gouging AIDS patients, harassing journalists, and contemplating the destruction of priceless works of art into a form of middling Internet notoriety, goes on trial in Brooklyn this week for what is at once his most allegedly criminal and also, somehow, his least offensive act: securities fraud. But first, as in all criminal trials, the judge has to seat an impartial jury of men and women who will eventually decide the defendant's guilt or innocence. And in the case of Martin Shkreli, it turns out it's really, really hard to seat a jury that doesn't already fucking hate this guy. From CNBC:

Jurors used words including "evil," "snake," and "greed" to refer to Shkreli, and several believed incorrectly he had been responsible for the price increase of another drug besides his own.

Please join me in relishing the remainder of these devastating burns that may or may not make you cackle:

"I think he's a very evil man," said one young woman in Brooklyn, New York, federal court as she was questioned by Judge Kiyo Matsumoto out of Shkreli's earshot about her bias toward him, as prosecutors and defense lawyers listened in.

Same.

Earlier in the day, another prospective juror, who was excused, said of Shkreli, "I know he's the most hated man in America."

Given the existence of Donald Trump, Bill Cosby, Roger Ailes (RIP), Jeff Sessions, Richard Spencer, Tom from House of Cards, Bill O'Reilly (also RIP), and Lee from The Bachelorette, this category feels like it has more nominees than the Oscar for Best Picture these days. That said...this prospective juror might be right.

A male prospective juror said, "I have total disdain for the man."

[Nods somberly]

A potential male juror was excused when he said of Shkreli, "From everything I've read, I believe the defendant is the face of corporate greed in America."

[Nods more vigorously now]

Soon after she was excused for bias, another woman said, referring to Shkreli raising the price of the drug, which is used to treat pregnant women, infants, and people with HIV and AIDS, "Who does that? A person who puts profits ahead of everyone else."

The woman then mimicked wringing the neck of Shkreli, who was sitting a dozen or so feet away, but likely couldn't hear her words to the judge, prosecutors and defense lawyers.

[Stands up on chair and pumps fist wildly]

A middle-aged woman who likewise was excused said that when she walked into court Monday morning, "I looked right at him and in my head I said, 'He's a snake.'"

Spot the lie.

A second man said, "This is the price gouger of drugs. My kids are on some of these drugs."

Speak your truth, second man!

A third man said, "He kind of looks like a d---."

Let's take a look at the tape.

Martin Shkreli, former chief executive officer of Turing Pharmaceuticals LLC, smiles while listening to opening statements at a House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform hearing on prescription drug prices in Washington, D.C., U.S., on Thursday, Feb. 4, 2016. Shkreli, who is no longer with Turing and faces federal fraud charges unrelated to the drugmaker, declined to make any comments to the committee. "On the advice of counsel, I invoke my Fifth Amendment," Shkreli said. Photographer: Pete Marovich/Bloomberg via Getty Images Bloomberg via Getty Images

CHECKS OUT.

The judge reportedly dismissed more than 130 potential jurors on Monday afternoon, leaving the 46 who made the cut due back in court on Tuesday for additional questioning. Hopefully, for the sake of the judge's calendar, none of them read the news last night.

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