Currently in negotiations with the European Central Bank, Greece faces an uncertain future as it attempts to prevent financial collapse in the midst of its debt crisis. Here are some potential ways Greece could solve its economic woes:

Try renting out extra space above Thessaloniki to bring in more income

Avoid frivolous spending on things like health care and a national infrastructure

Appoint a special finance minister charged with groveling at Angela Merkel’s feet

Increase number of hourly tours of Parthenon

See if populace can think up another new branch of science, form of government, philosophical mode of thought, or basis for Western culture that can be licensed for quick cash

Plunder the Turks

Place tourism ads in Golf Digest and Woman’s Day magazines

Finally end Greece’s outdated practice of paying Rome a 30 million denarii tribute each year

Patiently remind creditors that money is just a social construct that holds no intrinsic value

10.8 million cups of hemlock