Later, Data and Troi help the freakishly androgynous Lal choose a gender and appearance. After selecting Human Female, Lal returns to her quarters with Data and he attempts to teach her about aesthetics and upholstery while she recites the dictionary definitions at him. Wesley advises she go to the ship’s school, like he did in one episode, but that turns out to be a disaster when the other children mock and ostracise her. Thanks a lot, Wesley!

After school, Lal keeps asking Data questions so he switches her off, earning the jealousy of parents everywhere. Meanwhile, Starfleet has heard that one of their guys has created new Robo-Life and are understandably keen to get a slice of that action. Picard fights to keep their grubby Admiral hands off Lal (because whenever an Admiral shows up in Star Trek it’s inevitably bad news for the regular cast). While Data struggles to connect with Lal despite his lack of emotions, Admiral Haftel tells them to stay put while he catches the first ship to their location. Well, good job that asteroid belt wasn’t going anywhere.

Having given up on school, Data leaves Lal with Guinan, who teaches her about basic humanoid affection and then hires her as bar staff. Here she is, brain the size of a planet, and they’re asking her to serve drinks. When Haftal arrives he’s suitably sickened by this and announces that they’re taking Lal back to the Daystrom Institute where she can grow up the same way Data did: in a controlled environment that will ill-equip him for a world where people use colloquialisms and metaphors.

Meanwhile, Lal is evolving beyond even Data’s original capabilities. She can now use contractions in her speech, which Data is inexplicably unable to do (except when he does). Although Haftal wants to take Lal away, Data and Picard refuse to allow him. When they ask Lal, she wants to stay, and becomes upset when pressed otherwise. Haftal remains insistent and Picard’s just threatening to take it all the way to the top when Troi, who was looking after Lal, realises she can sense genuine robo-emotions from the girl. Data, Picard and Haftel are still arguing when Troi interrupts to say that something’s gone wrong with Lal.

Indeed, she’s auto-piloted her way back to the Lab, which she’s programmed to do in case of malfunction. Data diagnoses a cascade failure. The worst type of failure! It means Lal’s positronic brain pathways will soon collapse if she’s not repaired immediately. Data and Haftel try, but it’s too late. The damage is too devastating, and Lal dies (if you can call it dying) seconds after professing her love and gratitude for her father.