Washington D.C.—

Special prosecutor Robert Mueller is no stranger to difficult legal investigations, but it appears that Donald Trump’s blatantly corrupt presidential conduct is not making the Russian Collusion Scandal difficult enough for Mueller.

“Bob has totally enforced a no-Twitter rule at the FBI office,” revealed an FBI agent who requested anonymity to discuss his boss with freer specificity. “And he means it. Last week, when Trump posted a tweet that appeared to confess to obstruction of justice regarding Michael Flynn’s tenure and firing, a lawyer printed it out and submitted it for material evidence against Trump, and Mueller fired him on the spot. This guy plays chess and does mind puzzles like literally all day, every day, and it’s pretty obvious that he’s pissed that Trump and his crew are such incompetent criminals. When Bob signed on to do this he thought it would be the legal adventure of the century, but, instead, it has just been signing indictments and evidence reports all day. I mean Donald Trump Jr. changed his story about the Russia meeting five times. And people are flipping left and right. All these young people like George Papadopoulos and Hope Hicks are expected, but Mueller was really hoping Flynn would be a tough nut to crack. But no, Flynn flipped faster than anyone. These idiots have made it so obvious they’re guilty from the beginning. They can’t just stick to one story or lie, and neither can they stop from trying to throw colleagues under the bus. And from the very beginning Trump came out and admitted in a TV interview that he fired Comey because of the Russia investigation. His White House staff had the good sense to deny it, but Trump just went on TV and admitted the whole thing. Talk about a boring legal investigation. Breitbart News always tries to say that Trump is playing 4-dimensional or 32-dimensional chess, but the reality is Bob Mueller is playing chess and Donald Trump is playing Candy Land for Russian laundered money.”

(Picture courtesy of Medill DC.)

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