I recently read an article about a woman who was pregnant with triplets. She also had a 4-year-old and a

2-year-old.

“I’ve always had a Type A personality,” she said. “I think this is God’s way of teaching me how to be patient.”

(Or perhaps it’s God’s way of telling you he doesn’t like you very much?)

This statement gave rise to two philosophical questions for me:

Does having kids make a person more patient, or are patient people more likely to have kids?

Are parents really more patient than nonparents, or do they just drink more?

Now, I am a firm believer in self-discovery, self-development, and all that crap. I’m just not sure it’s necessary to procreate in order to better yourself in this way. There are plenty of childfree opportunities to practice patience and restraint.

Take me, for example. I believe I am a pretty patient person. I say this because:

I have been to the DMV. I have been stuck in a broken-down subway car with no air-conditioning in August. I have been put on hold by my cable provider. I have been told by my boss for the last four years that she is sure my promotion will go through this year (fingers crossed for 2012!). I have stood in line at the post office on December 23. I have been waiting 16 months for the new season of “Mad Men” to start. I have driven on the Capital Beltway at rush hour. I have waited a good 15 minutes for my 95-year-old grandfather to figure out the word he is look for is “dog.” When I was 9, I shared a bathroom with my 14-year-old sister. I have been contacted by a telemarketer.

In none of those instances did I flip anyone the bird, pull a Christian Bale, punch a wall, or lose my faculties.

And someday if I find myself honking at the car in front of me that doesn’t peel out the minute the light turns green, there are some patience rehab exercises I can do that don’t involve 3 a.m. feedings. I could become a customer service rep! Start rooting for the Cubs! Remodel my kitchen! No child necessary.