Back to Congressional gridlock. Back to watching John Boehner provide exciting updates like “we’re continuing to work with our members.” Maybe, if the stalemate goes on long enough, he will once again tell reporters: “If ands and buts were candy and nuts, every day would be Christmas.” I always enjoy that part.

Tra-la-la.

For the last few weeks, we’ve been awash in worries about profound problems in foreign affairs, but now we’re going domestic again. We’re back in budget crisis territory. Compared with Syria, it seems like a walk in the park. Good old fiscal cliffs.

It’s possible you’ve lost track of this over the summer, so I have prepared a calendar of upcoming events. Feel free to put it on the refrigerator:

Sept. 23: House of Representatives goes away. For a weeklong vacation. Because, you know, they need to see the folks back home that they didn’t see when they were there all of August. It’s possible that the Republican leadership will cancel their long-scheduled break rather than let it be said that the House only spent nine working days in Washington in the month before the federal government shut down. Which we would definitely be saying.

Oct. 1: Government shuts down! Do not plan a vacation in a national park for early October.

A critical chunk of House Republicans insist that they will only vote for a bill to keep government going if said legislation also defunds Obamacare. You may have noticed that House Republicans have a stupendously high opinion of health care reform. Most Democrats think it will be a very good thing over the long run, but probably a pain to implement, with lots of complaining from all sides. Republicans, on the other hand, think that the instant it goes into effect, voters will be so ecstatic they will toss out any public official who threatens to take it away from them. Yet, simultaneously, the world as we know it will come to an end. Go figure.