Panel 1

(Standing in front of an advertisement for Manly Soap)

Robot Hugs (RH): Hey, you know what’s weirdly gendered?

Person #1: Everything?

RH: Well, yeah. But today I’m talking about emotions.

Panel 2

RH: Emotions are basic, natural, uncontrollable, human things. We all feel. We may express how we are feeling differently, but we feel nonetheless.

Panel 3

(RH looking through a magnifying glass that has the male and female symbols around its frame)

RH: But there’s a gendered lens through which the expression of emotion is permitted. For example…

Panel 4

Angry: “That incompetent asshole screwed up again!! Fuck!”

(symbol for male) Angry

(symbol for female ) Crazy (acceptable: frustrated, non-confrontational, and undirected towards people)

Panel 5

Sad: “This is so hard. I can’t stop crying”

(symbol for male) Pathetic/Embarrassing (acceptable: single manly tear)

(symbol for female) Emotional

Panel 6

Fear: “I’m scared. I don’t think I can do this”

(symbol for male) Weak (acceptable: stoicism, assertiveness)

(symbol for female) Vulnerable

Panel 7

Confidence: “We need to get this done tomorrow.”

(symbol for male) Leader

(symbol for female) Bitch (acceptable: competent but accommodating)

Panel 8

These gendered stereotypes are also used as tools to invalidate trans identities.

Woman #1: As a trans woman, when I get mad, people insinuate that I’m acting like a man.

Panel 9

And there’s a racial lens here as well, when expressing emotions is used to discredit or ignore people because of racial stereotypes:

Woman #2: I have to moderate how I present issues I’m passionate about so I don’t get dismissed as an “angry black woman.”

Panel 10

Emotional policing is one of the ways that gendered stereotypes and patriarchy hurt men as well as women.

Man #1: As a man, I get a lot of messages about how I have to be the leader, the actor, the conflict, and the conflict resolver. It doesn’t give me a lot of room for me to talk about feeling uncertain, or scared, or weak, or depressed.

Panel 11

Unsurprisingly, emotions that are risky for men to express are ones that are associated with femininity:

Pain

Man #2: Pull yourself together. You’re acting like a little bitch.

(“Bitch” is crossed out and replaced with “woman”)

Fear

Man #3: Stop being such as pussy!

(“Pussy” is crossed out and replaced with “woman”)

Joy

Woman #3: It was kind of embarrassing. He cried like a little girl.

(“Little girl” is crossed out and replaced with “woman”)

Panel 12

The math:

Woman-things are bad, (female symbol equals “bad”), so men shouldn’t act like women (male symbol with “not equal” woman symbol)

Women are emotional (woman crying). Therefore, men shouldn’t be emotional (male symbol with “not equals” crying)

Panel 13

While there are (often limited and problematic) ways for women to emulate stereotypically “masculine” qualities:

Strong female protagonist (woman in a superhero outfit)

Just one of the guys (Woman holding a beer)

Professional and competent businesswoman (woman in a business suit)

Panel 14

RH: There aren’t a lot of accessible and positive examples of men having the ability to express a full range of human emotions, with one exception: Anger.

Panel 15

In media, positive portrayals of male protagonists often resolve their problems physically:

(posters for Die Hard, Wolverine, Taken, Punisher)

Panel 16

RH: …

Panel 17

Loss

(Arrow towards “cry,” crossed out with “weak” written under it. Arrow towards ‘”talk to someone,” crossed out with “weak” written under it. Arrow towards “anger” with “strong” written under it)

Panel 18

When men are discouraged from expressing emotions, they are also discouraged from seeking help for those emotions, making mental health and support resources difficult to access.

Man #4: I was taught to “pull myself together.” I was never taught how to call for help.

Panel 19

RH: Part of the effort of feminism to make the world safer for all genders, including men, is de-gendering normal human experiences, and destigmatizing things associated with femininity.

Panel 20

So let’s write men who cry and women who fight and genderqueer people who complain and boys who get giddy and girls who are proud.

Fuck “Boy’s don’t cry.”

Fuck “Don’t be bossy.”

Fuck “Grow some balls.”

Fuck “Calm down.”

Panel 21

And support people around you by recognizing and reflecting emotions.

Man #5: Man, you must be devastated, do you need to talk?

Man #6: Holy shit, that would make me furious. How are you feeling now?

Woman #7: It’s okay to be scared.

Panel 22

When we are free to express and talk about emotions without having to fear compromising our identities, we create space for individuals and communities to be healthier and safer.

Panel 23

RH: I know I’d feel pretty good about that.

Man #1: Wouldn’t you?