How to be a Humble Narcissist.

(last paragraph to skip the story, or it is pretty easy to comprehend. Be humble while also being a narcissist. But if you like stories, self reflection, and tips then read on please)

In my opinion, everybody is a narcissist, some people express it very clearly while others repress the feeling that they are the best in some aspect. Neither option is the correct choice though. First off nobody likes the narcissist of the group, the one that constantly thinks: their opinion is the best, their s**t is the greatest, their body is the sexiest, their phone is always the first with the notification, and/or they’re god-like. However, you do not want to go through your week never having a narcissistic thought because then you are always the first loser in your subconscious. Your mind starts to believe that you should not agree with people when they commend or praise you. Your emotional pattern starts to decline in happiness when you accomplish anything. Your freedom becomes limited because it is better for someone else to pursue that one thing; I mean I could go and do that, but they’ll do it better. Why would you never want to have a narcissistic thought? Well it allows me to put other people first, you may say, and that is great — you should put other people’s concerns first, but you should also believe that there are things that you excel at better than that other person. A person should have confidence to believe that they can absolutely do whatever it is that they want to accomplish, and they should also have the common sense to shut their mouth and encourage others to try. Thus, the humble narcissist is born.

Two words that counter each other used to describe a personality is really weird because it makes me think 50/50 humble and narcissistic that is just a normal person. But recently I started to notice that so many people hate pure narcissists to the point that they start believing it is wrong to have a thought that they can do something better. I was recently talking to a friend while walking around the zoo, and a topic came up where my friend was saying that so many celebrities with famous family members are only celebrities because they have a very famous family member. Very true topic for so many of these celebrities, but then my friend brought up the point that I have more talent than three-quarters if not all of these sons and daughters of actual talented celebrities. However, since they are related to famous people they are in the news for no reason and you can walk around the zoo with no paparazzi. Meanwhile I was walking along with him, and my brain said “f**k yeah, these pathetic actors can only do crocodile tears and be in the news for literally sneezing in public”, but the words that came out of my mouth were “yeah eh, well they don’t think it be like it is, but it do.” I am still trying to figure out what I meant, but what I felt in my heart was “thank you for the compliment, I agree with you, but that is not how it is yet.” And the cross-thinking between my heart and my brain who had completely different approaches to arrive at the same conclusion got me to start thinking about the inner complexions of a humble narcissist.

I have believed myself to be a humble narcissist since 2012, when the world was supposed to end, which side note — I know it didn’t end, but has anyone really felt alive since then? The Mayans could have been right, just in a different meaning. However, even though I considered myself to be this I never fully understood the psychosis behind it; I just said well I am pretty humble and I am pretty narcissistic, I guess I am a humble narcissist. Six years later I have discovered what I meant. My brain has always been the cocky one, the one to think: I can write a better commercial for that penis pill company, I can cry way better than that actor because I have past instances to reference, I am a funny guy when I talk, I can be successful in anything that I do because I am the brain. Simultaneously, my heart is there to put things in perspective, bring things back to the current situation, and put me in my position in the world along with seven billion other people. Thinking about it now, I feel like the two should be the other way around where your heart says you are the best and your brain brings logic to the scenario, but that is not how it is for me. My brain has the confidence, while my heart recognizes other people. I don’t know which one is the best way to be, but either mix is good I guess because it balances you out.

I feel the need to mention that I wrote this to work out my psychosis, and have concluded that a humble narcissist is someone who uses their brain or heart to exude confidence while the other considers everybody’s place in the universe and puts a reality check on the confidence. The two work together to continually make the person better, in the aspects of leadership, friendship, and individualism. I am bringing leadership into consideration because think about it; humble narcissists are the best leaders. They have goals and passions to inspire them to pursue greatness, but they also know that nothing can be done without followers. If I did not have people in my life that loved me; I would have killed myself by now, but the humble narcissist part of me allows me to understand that certain people love and adore having me around (narcissist) and killing myself would cause too much disruption to other peoples normal day (humble). Leading into friendship, people enjoy being my friend because I have passions but I am not a dick about it. Those passions fuel individualism; having the confidence to pursue something and the logic to shut up about it because literally no one cares. But just because no one cares does not mean you don’t pursue it; you pursue it because you want too and you care. That is all that matters, is that you care about what you care about, and have the decent sense to understand that people have their own life’s. This can go on to help a lot people who are depressed because they think that nobody wants to hangout with them, even though they have friends. People have their own life’s, deal with it.

Now, I want to help myself and others by providing tips on living with this mentality. Have the courage to change your life; say something you thought you were the best at ends up being something that you are just moderately okay at, be brave enough to pursue something else. At the same time you can continue to do whatever you believed you were the best at if your passion is still there for it, but don’t be afraid to turn around and say I was wrong. Next tip, burn some bridges to get certain people out of your life, but leave around ninety-percent of your bridged connections un-burned by your actions. That one may sound weird because it is good to maintain acquaintances, but every now and then you do need to get people out of your life because they are or will be dragging you down. I usually do this with the people that say “when you’re famous, you can’t forget about me, I would like a million dollars.” I had a few coworkers say that to me and they were coworkers that I hardly ever talked too; only let your true friends say that to you, anybody else call them a c**t on your last interaction. Last tip, ask for help. Your narcissistic side will say no I got this, but your humble side will say man we need some help over here; listen to your humble side on this one and utilize the help being offered.

So, if you read it all, I hope you had fun and understood many of the messages. If you didn’t and were just trying to find the part where I gave the how to part of it, that was up at the top. Be humble while also being a narcissist; it is real easy.

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