A-Hole Appears on White House Lawn

May 22, 2018

A-Hole suddenly appeared on the White House lawn today. And it’s growing bigger.

“We aren’t exactly sure how it got there,” said White House official lawnskeeper. “It just seemed to appear out of nowhere. I didn’t except this to happen for real. And now that it’s here, it won’t leave.”

Due to its unique properties and self-centered gravity, some scientists have suggested it might even be a black hole.

“It just sucks everything else into it,” said Neil deGrasse Tyson. “It’s the center of its own private universe. Even light cannot escape. Just a dark festering swamp the needs drained but we don’t know how. What an a-hole.”

Far-Right Christian groups have rallied to president Trump defense. “This a-hole is the rapture!” said Vice-President Mike Pence. “It has come to open a portal to hell! We are so blessed!”

Democrats are not so convinced. “Get that a-hole off the lawn,” said Bernie Sanders. “It smells like a septic tank.”

Last seen, the a-hole started to furiously dig, as if it could reach China or Russia or something.

One thing everyone can agree upon: there's bottomless potential here. Surely something to break our void of substance in today's news cycle. So stay tuned to The Tiled Glass, your primary source for all holy developments.