Benedict Cumberbatch Describes How He Would Play a Love Scene as Sherlock

"I'd know exactly how to please a woman"

When an Elle UK interviewer suggested Benedict Cumberbatch's BBC version of Sherlock Holmes would be a "terrible shag," he was quick to set the record straight. Cumberbatch launched into an extremely detailed, sexual description of what Sherlock would be like in bed. As in: so detailed ardent fans may want to stand under an ice bucket while reading the quotes.

Things started off simply enough, with Cumberbatch describing how he would test latex, run an experiment on "durability and length," take vitamins, shave and watch porn. But then came the boom. (Get ready to think about violinists in a different way.)

"And then I would be devastating," said Cumberbatch. "I’d know exactly how to please a woman, I’d know exactly where to put my fingers, where to put my tongue, where to put my — his, I should say — his fingers, his tongue. Think about violinists, think about what they can do with their fingers."

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The actor picked up steam. "And I’d know exactly how to get that person into it, and get pleasure out of making that person feel pleasure to the point that I probably wouldn’t even have to enter."

"But when I did it would be explosive," he added.

Ice bucket. All the ice buckets.

"I'd quite like to watch that love scene now," said the interviewer, expressing the desires of all Cumberbatch fans around the world.

"You never will," replied the actor. "It’s not that kind of a program, is it?"

Ouch. Hopefully Cumberbatch is wrong, and one day there will be a Sherlock love scene. Violins and all.

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