Ok, I’m going to talk about it. When I feel very strongly about an issue it’s only a matter of time before I burst into some kind of written or verbal rant. My poor husband is usually on the listening end of those but today, it gets to be anyone reading this!

I have felt uncomfortable talking about this because I know how personal it is. I’m talking about penises. That’s pretty darn personal. And I’m also talking about parenting decisions. And people get really really sensitive about that (myself included). But it’s time I talk about it.

I’d say my first thoughts about the unethical nature of circumcision centered around the much publicized Female Genital Mutiliation in parts of Africa. Most people are disgusted by the practice of ritual cutting of girls. I’ve known women who have been through this ritual and it is held in varying regard. There are different types of FGM (as it’s called in most feminist literature but it can also be called the less judgmental female circumcision) and there is a type that is analagous to male circumcision. There are also other types that are much more severe. Regardless, it’s something most people when they hear about it disdain.

Much like FGM in parts of Africa routine infant circumcision in the U.S. is deep seated cultural practice. It is almost a given for many families. I’ve urged close friends before to step outside their cultural box and to really look at the practice. It’s hard. It’s hard when you’ve already had a baby boy circumcised. It’s hard when your husband is circumcised. To admit that it’s anything like FGM in Africa is like admitting there is something wrong about what we do. That there is something really wrong with the way the men in our life were treated. But we have to do it. We have to look at it and decide, is this really a good idea?

When I was pregnant with my son the OB talked to us very briefly about circumcision. She said it would be $100 extra and not covered by insurance. I asked if there was any medical need for it to be done. I, like many of us, had heard that it’s “cleaner” or “less likely to get a disease.” but I wasn’t sure if that was backed by medical science. My OB plainly said, “no” and that it is a cultural practice on the decline. With a glance toward my husband and a silent agreement, we decided our son would stay whole. We aren’t Jewish. We don’t have any religious beliefs that call for the cutting (although many religious people are against routine infanct circumcision) so we decided our son was best left intact.

Now this decision was based on that short conversation but the more I researched the more appalled I became at the fact that we as a society, as a matter of routine, perform cosmetic surgery on babies who are just days old. Little tiny, completely dependent babies who just left the comfort and safety of their mother’s womb. Little boys who are just getting used to light, vision, touch, feeding, everything else. We strap them down, give them sugar water or sometimes an anesthetic, and cut off a part of their body. A functional part of their body I might add. Now, I’m not going to get into the science and research here. I just FELT like it was a bad thing to do. I just FELT like I didn’t want any knife near my sweet boy. I just FELT like it was wrong. Now, through my research I KNOW there is no reason for it. It can permanently change the way their brain works, responds to pain, responds to the first early and vital days of breastfeeding, and they DO feel pain. Why would I do that to my son?

I’m not suggesting that anyone that has circumcised their son did this without regard to their newborn. I know you love your boys. I blame it on ignorance, or a lack of perceived choice. My mom cries when I talk to her about this because she remembers seeing her son, my brother, in pain during the procedure. It goes against every maternal instinct we have, yet it’s done so much in this country. The majority of the world does not routinely circumcise their boys. We need to start deciding, one by one, that we aren’t going to do it either. We weren’t made with an extra body part that needs slicing. We were made perfect and we need to take our perfect, whole baby boys home with every body part God gave them.