Here's an incomplete list of things Ronald Reagan was good at screwing: the poor, the homeless. And here's a list of things he was bad at screwing: virgins 19 years his junior. Yep—according to actress Piper Laurie, Reagan was as bad a lover as he was a president.

Laurie met Reagan in 1950 on the set of Louisa, in which he was playing (gulp) her father. She was 18; he was 39, between marriages, and, apparently, a gentleman—he asked her mother for permission to take her out on date.

[H]e took her to his home where he made hamburgers for them both. Things went downhill from there and when they moved into the bedroom where Reagan turned into a 'show-off' who had sex 'without grace'. Laurie, 79, writes: 'He made sure I was aware of the length of time he had been "ardent". It was 40 minutes.' Laurie adds that when she complained she was not satisfied, she got rather short shrift indeed. Reagan told her: 'There's something wrong with you. You should have had many orgasms by now—after all this time. You've got to see a doctor.' On top of that, the man who went on to become Leader of the Free World also disclosed the amount he had paid for the condom, in a crass attempt to prove his point.

After their dalliance, Reagan went on to dismantle as president the New Deal and Great Society programs that turned America in a superpower, while Laurie received an Emmy Golden Globe for her performance as Catherine Martell in Twin Peaks. So we know who won that relationship!

[Daily Mail, images via AP]