CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

A man who’s parents decided to hack off the top of his penis for no reason other than the fact that they thought it is what everyone does, has today defended their decision.

Male circumcision is the removal of the foreskin from the human penis. In the most common procedure, the foreskin is opened, adhesions are removed, and the foreskin is separated from the glans.

“It’s better mate” he says while comedically pretending to dust off his shoulder.

“You blokes are unhygienic”

While jovially referring to his uncircumcised friends as ‘skindogs’ and ‘hoodies’ – local man Dennis Crouch (28) is completely oblivious to the fact that in 2017 Australia, he is in the minority.

“It’s not even religious or anything” says close mate, Vincent.

“He’s been giving me shit about having a foreskin since we were kids”

“He’s the one who’s parents decided to mutilate him, and he’s acting like I’m the pleb. It’s like mate, there was literally no reason for you to be operated on as an infant”

When presented with several different arguments about why circumcision is no longer necessary in the developed world, Dennis flippantly responds by saying that girls like it better and it feels better during sex.

“That’s bullshit” says his other skindog mate, Bryce.

“It’s not mate. It’s true” says a smug Dennis.