EDIT - 2/13/2016:

- You can't hit ♥♥♥♥. You are a disgrace to your team and the game.- You can now sometimes hit the ball. Don't even try to hit it in the right direction or think about your positioning. You're only Semi Pro so you can just go ahead and hit that ball! You also made a bicycle hit that one time but yeah nah you're still ♥♥♥♥.- You have learnt how to shoot the ball accurately from the ground. You're the best! Late into Pro level, you would have likely looked up advanced tips for Rocket League. Worst mistake of your life. You now know what aerials are. You think you can fly. The ball comes up high and you go for an aerial. Once you jump, you fly straight into the ground and continue to do frontflips until you land on your back... What the ♥♥♥♥ happened there? Oh. You're using keyboard. Yeah nah, time to get a controller, ♥♥♥♥-head.- You now have a controller and go for terribly unlikely aerials. You think you're good. You can hit the lower aerials consistently and you can now be considered an addition to your team. Congratulations!- You can now consistently hit aerials accurately at any height. This game is now your life. You can also score off a wall every now and then. Good times.- You are now a god to every level lower than you. You have perfected the art of wall shots. You are an extremely cool person. A nice little bonus is that everyone under the level of Pro will now spam "Sorry!" every time they do something wrong to you.- The most badass-looking title you can have. ♥♥♥♥ Rocketeer. You probably now have an extreme case of false confidence. Once you get used to the badass title, you'll wreck anything and anyone with ease. You can also pull off freestyles consistently. Nice job! Also be sure to prepare for an endless stream of "You're not good enough for Legend!"- You can now 720-freestyle-backflip-reverse-backwards-aerial-air dribble off a wall with ease. You probably boosted for that Rocketeer tag. But if you didn't, still prepare for another endless stream of "You're not good enough for Rocketeer!"But in all seriousness, I absolutely love this game and I'm sure anyone will. I've literally never seen someone dislike this game after they've played 10 hours. (Rocket League moves onto a whole-nother level of fun and addiction once you learn how to fly.)If you're still contemplating buying this game after reading this review, just trust me when I say it is one of the most fun and addictive games I've ever played (more gripping than Skyrim and GTA).Think about it this way: You wouldn't have made it this far through the review if you didn't secretly want this game. Ignore the childish-looking pictures on the store page. Just get this game. This is the one.You know a game is amazing when the servers go down and you'd rather train offline than play any of your other 100 games...ty for the read