Below Deck Mediterranean, the second greatest show on television after the original Below Deck, is on tonight.

I’ve already waxed poetically on why this should be appointment television, but this season has been particularly good.

The season is winding down, and the later episodes are usually more explosive, as the tensions that have built all season finally come to a head.

It’s going to be great.

Sandy

Captain Sandy is great, and has been great all season. But, she’s been threatening to lose her cool watching her department heads continually mess up. I’d really want to see her fire somebody. It’ll be Hannah if she does.

Hannah

This hasn’t been Hannah’s season. The Chief Steward has been off her game, making silly mistakes, and letting her relationship with bosun Conrad get in the way of her job. She’s fought with nearly everyone this season, and has almost gotten fired at least once. All signs point to this being her last season. Her stewardesses are mutinying, and the writing is on the wall.

She will conveniently miss work and look like she’s doing managerial duties but mostly taking smoke breaks with Conrad and insisting she’s not materialistic while at the same time listing all of her designer clothes.

Conrad

Poor Conrad. The dashing young bosun, who looked more like a member of a boy band than a two striped seaman, looked like he could be the breakout star at the beginning of the season. But, his relationship with Hannah got in the way of his work, and he’s lost favor with the Captain.

Conrad will look lost at some point tonight. He’s also been heading for a break up for a while. It should be interesting.

Adam

Adam will continue his epic comeback from last year, and continue making the best comments in his talking heads. I wish he did commentary on everything.

Brooke

Brooke could be a wild card. She could finally snap go after Hannah, or she’ll just continue to justify all the creepy things Joao does.

She’ll mostly be boring.

Kasey

Kasey will spend most of the time looking in mirror and trying not to get seasick.

Colin and Jaime

I included both of them in the same spot because they’ll only on TV for about 15 seconds each episode.

Colin will mostly cool, say funny things, and make you wonder why he’s not the show’s lead.

Jaime will do all of the above while drinking chocolate milk.

Jaoa

Jwow will do something creepy. He spends mostly of his time looking like a bully from the disney channel. He will say something dumb, and he will make you wonder why anyone agrees to be alone with him.

Do you think his favorite movie is Zodiac or American Psycho?

Anyway it’s going to be great.

Jwow

Joao wi