'This one is going to freak him out': what Trump would make of David Lynch's films

David Lynch is a man who likes to keep his ideas to himself. Ask him about any of his films, or the meaning behind any of his images, and he will simply clam up until the conversation moves on. Ask him about Donald Trump, though, and you can’t shut the man up.

Donald Trump jokes David Lynch's career 'over' for praising his presidency Read more

By now, everyone knows about Lynch’s – admittedly slightly decontextualised – claim that Trump might “go down as one of the greatest presidents in history”, along with Trump’s “there goes his career” rejoinder. However, Trump needs high-profile supporters wherever he can get them, and if he really wants to win Lynch over, he’s going to have to become more familiar with the director’s oeuvre. Here’s where he should start.

The Elephant Man (1980)

Almost uniquely for Lynch, The Elephant Man is a narratively direct story that doesn’t hide behind abstract imagery, so Trump should be able to digest it with relative ease. Better yet, it’s about a man who’s shunned by the public at large; a man regularly brutalised by a society determined to caricature him as a monster. Heck, if the lead character had an inhumane immigration policy instead of Proteus syndrome, The Elephant Man could literally be about Trump.

Twin Peaks: The Return (2017)

The bad news for Trump is that Lynch’s last Twin Peaks series was a masterpiece of challenged expectations. Beloved characters came back as unsatisfactory cyphers, or giant space kettles, or were sidelined entirely in favour of hour-long avant garde depictions of humanity’s innate cruelty. But the good news is that, utilising Trump’s no-fail movie-viewing technique (getting his son to fast forward through all the parts that don’t include any nudity or violence) he could probably bash through the whole thing in about 45 minutes.

Facebook Twitter Pinterest Fear of parenthood ... Eraserhead. Photograph: Alamy Stock Photo

Eraserhead (1977)

If Eraserhead is about anything at all, it’s about man’s primal fear of parenthood. As someone who’s managed to churn out a near ceaseless array of children with a variety of women, though, Trump has probably never experienced this sensation. If only Eraserhead had featured a scene where Henry Spencer looks at his frail, deformed, agonised snake-baby hybrid and openly wondered whether or not he could date it, the whole thing would be much more relatable for him.

David Lynch: ‘You gotta be selfish. It's a terrible thing’ Read more

Mulholland Drive (2001)

Stars two 10s, who get off with each other halfway through. Trump will love it.

Inland Empire (2006)

Three hours of impenetrable darkness and screaming that starts in the middle of nowhere and moves without sense or logic until it has whipped itself into such a frenzy of mayhem that it brings about feelings of helpless claustrophobia in its audience. Trump might not get it, but anyone who’s been watching his presidency will.

The Straight Story (1999)

A simple, barely-there tale of good-hearted small-town American people doing whatever they have to do to get by. A celebration of warm, low-key human kindness. This one is going to freak Trump the hell out.

Lost Highway (1997)

In which Robert Blake stars as a mysterious man who appears to be everywhere at once, sending Bill Pullman into fits of paranoid hysteria by constantly reminding him that he has bundles of documents that incriminate him in a serious crime. Actually, Trump might want to give this one a pass until the Mueller investigation wraps up.