** PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT **

As Brexit negotiations continue to make the UK great again, we’re thrilled to announce the latest national campaign to create a stronger, more unified Britain. From today (1 April), the Government has decreed that all kilograms, grams, litres and millilitres are to be abolished from British cookery books, recipe websites and food TV programmes. Instead, the imperial system – developed in this great country in 1824 – is being reintroduced, and we couldn’t be happier. The metric system (dreamt up by the French in the eighteenth century) has had its time – now fluid ounces, pounds and stone are back for good.

Drinking pints of bitter, measuring our waist size in inches and driving our (British-made) cars at seventy miles an hour down the left hand side of the motorway – three British pastimes that not only make this country great, but prove that the imperial measurement system is something still close to our hearts. However, if you’ve been sucked in by the European propaganda machine and are worried about losing your continental metric litres and grams, never fear; we’re here to help.

First of all, don’t worry about having to throw out all your old recipe books, measuring jugs and scales – all you need to do is memorise a few handy numbers and you’ll be able to convert them at will. One fluid ounce is a twentieth of an imperial pint, or 28.4130625 millilitres, while a pound equates to 453.59237 grams. A kilogram is now 0.157473 stone, and a gallon equals 160 imperial ounces and takes up 277.42 inches. Easy, right?

It also means we can welcome back some incredibly useful measurement units that – for reasons unbeknownst to us – have fallen out of favour. A grain is the same as 0.06479891 grams, and was originally used to weigh things like gunpowder, single grains of wheat and diamonds. With foreign imports likely to rise in price, we look forward to grains and drachms (1.7718451953125 grams in case you’ve forgotten) coming back into fashion and helping us keep a tight eye on soon-to-be-rare ingredients like citrus fruits, French cheese and olive oil.

Cooking for a crowd? Say hello to the hundredweight – or 50.80234544 kilograms if you’ve still got an outdated metric mind set. And if you’re making a big batch of soup, there’s no longer the need to painstakingly pour out litre after litre of stock; just start thinking in gallons (or 4.54609 litres). At the other end of the spectrum, try using fluid scruples (1.18387760416 recurring millilitres) to get just the right amount of liquid in your recipe.

As you can see, imperial measurements aren’t only quintessentially British; they just make sense. And as one of the first websites to be implementing these changes, we’re thrilled to be part of this revolutionary movement to get Britain cooking British recipes with British ingredients using historic British measurements. Say no to overrated European cuisine and embrace the pies, stews and casseroles of our past!