ktempest:

wilwheaton:

I got a lot of messages like yours that were bordering on antagonizing, but I’ll respond to you: this was entirely news to me, and I never meant to be offensive. I’ll be honest: I think it’s a little much to get upset about this, but I am fully aware that I’m living life on Scalzi’s Lowest Difficulty Setting, with the Celebrity Cheat enabled, so I’ll own that reality up front. My ancestors murdered untold numbers of Native Americans, and I hate that my country was built on their blood, and I hate that the worst poverty in America exists on Tribal lands. What I hate the most is how many Americans don’t know or care. Those issues are, in my opinion, more important than words. Having said that, I see the point you make, that so much has already been taken from native people, and when a White Guy takes something more, it’s uncool. I never meant to take anything from anyone. I think Spirit Animals are really cool, and I love everything I’ve ever learned about native or aboriginal culture. I’m not trying to appropriate or lessen anything by expressing how much Kelly Sue inspires me, and how I try to be more like her.

It’s amazing how problematic this apology is. I don’t even think Wil gets that he’s whitesplaining.

For the education of those who might find themselves in this situation, here’s a primer on what’s wrong with this response.

First: “I got a lot of messages like yours that were bordering on antagonizing, but I’ll respond to you”

I didn’t like the Tone those other people used. Yours was appropriate! I’ll talk to you.

Second: “I think it’s a little much to get upset about this, but…”

This doesn’t affect me and I’ve never given it two seconds worth of thought. And even though I’m about to launch into a whole explanation of how I get it, I need you to know that my first reaction is that everyone is oversensitive.

Third: “My ancestors murdered untold numbers of Native Americans, and I hate that my country was built on their blood”

This outpouring of white guilt somehow brings it all back to me and how I feel. Curious that.

Fourth: “I never meant to take anything from anyone. I think Spirit Animals are really cool”

THIS WOULD BE THE CRUX OF THE PROBLEM, SIR. SIR? SIR.

Fifth: “I’m not trying to appropriate or lessen anything by expressing how much Kelly Sue inspires me, and how I try to be more like her.”

The point is not what you were or were not trying to do, it’s how what you did affects others. Why don’t you express your admiration for Kelly Sue in ways that are not appropriative? Why MUST you express admiration in this exact way?

Also, how fucking hard is it to say: “Oh, I did not realize that invoking Spirit Animals like that is a problem. I won’t do it again.“ ? That’s really all you needed to say. You didn’t need to whitesplain or get defensive AT ALL.

Let Wil Wheaton serve as an example of What Not To Do! Trust me on this, y’all.