The light sabers could only be more difficult and less appealing to grip if Jabba the Hutt swallowed them.

But the paired sabers could be unlocked, linked by a fiber cable, and whipped around as light-saber-chucks. If my father had known about that, he could have skipped the whole birds and bees talk. That phrase would have taken priority.

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This is the best picture available, as every other shot ended with half a camera.

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If anyone saw a problem with whipping things around controlled only by a cable when their one and only function is "cuts through everything, including cables," they were too busy with a faceful of light saber to say anything. Luckily, the Star Wars universe has the one monster you could safely use these against. Just fall into the Sarlacc pit, remind Boba Fett that he has a jet pack so that he can get out, and twirl away. That way it can safely digest the newly bite-sized idiot chunks to remove all evidence of your stupidity.

Luke loves his insane chainsaw-gun and used it to reveal The Truth Behind Gears of War: Judgment. And he reveals even stupider additions to video games in The Descent of Downloadable Content. Luke also has a Tumblr and responds to every single tweet.

And for actual monsters that need actual slaying, check out 6 Terrifying Creatures That Keep Going After They're Dead and 23 Small Changes That Make Adorable Things Terrifying.

And for more on things that go bump in the night, click here.