It is the hope that has killed Arsène Wenger so many times over the final traumatic years of his Arsenal tenure. The manager is the eternal optimist, always seeing the good in people and players, and when Alexandre Lacazette headed his team into a 61st minute lead, Wenger could begin to dream.

The 68-year-old has not hidden his desire to walk away from his life’s work at Arsenal with the Europa League – it would be a first trophy of any description for him in Europe – and Lacazette, a former Lyon striker, had moved the club closer to the final, which, coincidentally, will be played in Lyon.

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It was a towering leap and wonderful finish, and it cut through the frustrations that Arsenal had felt against an Atlético Madrid team who played from the 10th minute with 10 men. Wenger’s players had created a fistful of chances during a barnstorming opening quarter only to lack a cutting edge and there was the sense that they were running out of ideas.

At 1-0, the evening seemed a whole lot better for Wenger but it would come to feel a whole lot worse. He would later describe 1-0 as the “perfect” scoreline from a home first leg and all Arsenal needed to do was see it out. Wenger noted that Atlético could not get forward with their combination play and so their best chance was the long ball. Arsenal had to guard against it. But they could not.

Laurent Koscielny had the position on Antoine Griezmann but he mucked up his attempt to hook the ball away in darkly comic fashion. It ricocheted off Griezmann and, suddenly, the striker was in.

When his shot was saved by David Ospina and it broke back towards him, Shkodran Mustafi had taken up a good covering position. Then Mustafi slipped. The target looked a little bigger for Griezmann and he squeezed his shot home. Wenger has seen this movie before but its ability to traumatise is undiminished.

“We can only look at ourselves,” the manager said. “We had the chances to be in the final tonight, we were not clinical enough and it’s a bitter taste. We created the anticlimax by giving the goal away and we’re now in a very difficult position.”

Play Video 0:52 Arsène Wenger left with 'bitter taste' after 1-1 draw with Atlético Madrid – video

Sime Vrsaljko’s early dismissal had shaped the tie, setting a combustible tone, and the Croatia right-back was certainly guilty of a rare form of recklessness, even if both of his cautions were defined by the strictest application of the law.

The first was for a lunge at Jack Wilshere and with that in mind he ought to have thought twice about stretching into a tackle on Lacazette in a non-threatening area. He did not.

Vrsaljko was late and trod on the top of Lacazette’s foot. He gave Clément Turpin a decision to make and the referee duly made it. The notion of a final warning so early in such a big game did not appear to enter his thoughts.

Quick guide Arsenal player ratings Show Hide David Ospina Had barely anything to do. Good in possession. Was the only one who did his job on the goal. Unlucky 6 Héctor Bellerín Consistent outlet on the right. Made the visitors work, though delivery could have been better. 6 Shkodran Mustafi The last man between Griezmann and goal, the German fell over. Always looked vulnerable. 4 Laurent Koscelny (c) Had a decent game for the most part, maybe unlucky his clearance came back to him. But still. 5 Nacho Monreal Matched Bellerín for an attacking presence and involved in goal. Also played Griezmann onside. 5 Granit Xhaka The odd half-decent set-piece, but that was about it. Not nearly assertive enough. 4 Aaron Ramsey Could have scored twice from headers, the rest of his game a bit loose. Worked hard. 6 Mesut Özil The only forward who looked anything near sharp, but still did not deliver the end product. 6 Jack Wilshere Assist for the goal, everything else was tidy to the point of inconspicuous. 6 Danny Welbeck Imposed himself initially but ultimately never delivered the quality. Lost the ball for Griezmann’s goal. 5 Alexandre Lacazette Scored with a powerful header but should have had more, especially in the first half. A frustrating night. 6 Ratings by Paul MacInnes

Diego Simeone was incandescent and moments later, after Héctor Bellerín had hacked at Lucas Hernández, the Atlético manager took his protests too far in demanding censure for the Arsenal right-back. Simeone was banished to the stands.

Thereafter, he would pace about the back of the directors’ enclosure, a study in pent-up fury until the release of Griezmann’s equaliser. Simeone would refuse to criticise Turpin but he still managed to get his feelings across. He did not agree with the sending off.

Quick guide Atlético Madrid player ratings Show Hide Jan Oblak Two fantastic saves from Lacazette and Ramsay. Everything else looked easy for the Slovenian. 8 Lucas Hernández Came off second best in his duel with Bellerín but held his shape and kept his cool. 6 Diego Godín (c) When Atlético were wobbling Godín stood firm with block after block. He has done this many times before. 8 José María Giménez Followed the lead of his captain. One fantastic stretch to stop Özil, launched the ball for the goal. 7 Sime Vrsaljko Earned two deserved bookings within 10 minutes of a crucial European fixture. Nothing more to say. 2 Thomas Partay Went from midfield to right‑back after Vrsaljko’s departure and acquitted himself well. Assertive. 7 Koke Saw little of the ball but ran his legs off to keep Arsenal from penetrating through the middle. 6 Saúl Ñíguez Another display more about commitment than technical contribution, but that was what was needed 6 Ángel Correa An irritant in the first half, as much for his theatrics as anything, disappeared in the second. 5 Antoine Griezmann Far from his best game, but swung the tie. Willed his way past a wilting defence when it mattered. 7 Kevin Gameiro Struggled to get into the match. Never properly linked up with Griezmann. 5 Subsitutes: Gabi (for Gameiro 65) Calming presence from the old head proved important 7. Fernando Torres (for Griezmann 85) N/A. Savic (for Correa 75) N/A Ratings by Paul MacInnes

Arsenal had 28 shots to Atlético’s six and in the final analysis, they were left to rue their profligacy – together with the enduring excellence of Jan Oblak – particularly during their purple patch early on. Lacazette had two clear chances before the sending off – a volley that grazed the outside of a post and a header that extended Oblak.

After Vrsaljko and Simeone had departed, Aaron Ramsey saw a shot blocked by Diego Godín; Wilshere headed tamely at Oblak; Danny Welbeck shot at the goalkeeper from a tight-ish angle and Koscielny, in yards of space after Lacazette had flicked on Granit Xhaka’s corner, stretched and sliced wide.

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Nacho Monreal also miscued a volley on 31 minutes as Atlético began to tighten up, but the visitors might have hurt Arsenal in the final part of the first-half. Twice Griezmann drew saves from Ospina.

The breakthrough came after Griezmann ill-advisedly tried to play out from the back and was robbed by Monreal. Wilshere crossed and Lacazette scored his seventh goal in seven games. It was merely the prelude to heartache.

Oblak produced a world-class save to keep out a Ramsey header at the end and Simeone was left to purr over a defensive performance that will “go down in Atlético’s European history”. Wenger and Arsenal are not out. Yet they most assuredly feel down.