“It must have deleted itself” says Kasey Birley, a drunk 22-year-old pharmacist’s assistant from Betoota Heights.

”The app has flat out disappeared. This is fucked. I can’t even download it. It’s saying I already have it”

This scenario wasn’t uncommon over the weekend, as drunk Australians failed to locate and identify the newly updated Uber app.

Despite the blaringly obvious new icon actually having the word Uber in the middle of it, Australians say they have only just gotten used to that weird grey one.

”Why do they keep changing it?” Says another drunk, Corey Cordner, a local ringbarker from the City Limits.

”I reckon they change this fucking logo more more than I change my card details.”

”Just pick one and stick with it”

However, as Australia’s millennials now reach that age where technology is starting to overtake them, it appears that only post-2000s Gen-Z smartphone users have attention spans short enough to no longer rely solely on muscle memory.

”I don’t even remember my phone password lol” says one 19-year-old named Darcy, who actually said the word lol in a spoken sentence.

”I just call taxis now to save me the drama. Lucky these phones have contacts lists now that you can save numbers into”