The three certainties of life on the New Jersey Turnpike and Garden State Parkway: tolls, traffic, and the rest stop.



As far as the latter, at some point you're going to need gas or you and/or the kids gotta, you know, go.

There are 23 rest stops -- or service areas, as they're called by the New Jersey Turnpike Authority, which operates both highways. They're big, small; modern, outdated; fancy, no-frills. The service plazas, clearly identified by big blue highway signs, may look the same, but they're all different, each with its own style, personality, range of facilities, and decor (or lack thereof).

(We excluded three plazas from consideration: Colonia North, Colonia South and Brookdale North, all on the Parkway, and all consisting of a gas station and/or convenience store only.)

I spent three days driving up and down both toll roads, accumulating souvenirs, brochures, free state maps (not easy to find) and no doubt stares from people wondering "why is that guy taking pictures of the furniture?''



Because not all service area furniture is alike. Just like not all food options and bathrooms and gift shops and water fountains are alike. For instance, the fountain water temperature ranged from bracingly cold -- this mission was conducted during a dastardly heat wave -- to water so warm I thought it might be bubbling up from hot springs somewhere.

Here's the ranking, from worst to best. For photos of the 20 service plazas, see the gallery above. To see my ratings in each of the major categories -- cleanliness, food options, overall experience -- click on each of the mile markers on the map below.

(In the listing, "MP'' stands for milepost. On the Parkway, mileposts do not always line up with exit numbers; Vauxhall, for example, is at milepost 145 but between exits 140 and 141.)

20. Brookdale South, MP 153 (southbound), Garden State Parkway. The rock bottom of rest stops -- lifeless, cheerless, with a sad-looking food court area. A sign advertised "veggi'' wraps, not to be confused with "veggie'' ones, apparently.

19. Vauxhall, MP 145 (northbound), Garden State Parkway. You'd better like McDonald's, because that's the only food option here (I'm not counting snacks in the vending machine). The few tables outside seem to beg for attention, and this rest stop is begging, period.

18. Thomas Edison, MP 92.9 (southbound), New Jersey Turnpike. Good luck finding a parking spot around lunchtime; it reminded me of a Jersey mall three days before Christmas. Blah tile floors and outside picnic tables set on a concrete patio. If I'm heading home and need gas, I'll jump on the Parkway and fill up at Cheesequake or Monmouth, where the lines move quicker.

17. Forked River, MP 76 (both directions), Garden State Parkway. A bare-bones rest stop devoid of personality, color, style, anything. There's a Burger King, Starbucks and Sbarro, but you can find those anywhere. On the other hand, you can find NJ Turnpike logo-ed glasses and mugs at 50 percent off.)

16. Vince Lombardi, MP 116E, 115.5 W, New Jersey Turnpike. You want to know where the truckers park? Right here, where dozens of rigs add a certain Jersey ambience. The food concession area is cramped, the water fountain is lukewarm (that's being kind) and there's no info inside the main entrance, as at other rest stops, on the man many call the greatest football coach ever.

15. Alexander Hamilton, MP 111.6E (southbound), New Jersey Turnpike. Enough with the gnomes already; the plush figures run rampant at most of the rest stops. Is this a hot trend I missed? Same gunmetal-grey furniture, with purple seats (who chooses these colors, anyway?). Its name is Alexander Hamilton, but -- to paraphrase Lin-Manuel Miranda -- this rest stop has thrown away its shot.

14. Monmouth, MP 100 (both directions), Garden State Parkway, Maybe the biggest candy selection of any rest stop, but not much else stands out here. Also, the railing outside the entrance needs to be bolted down or replaced; it's an accident waiting to happen.

13. Richard Stockton, MP 58.7 (southbound), New Jersey Turnpike. Needs an overhaul -- look, color, floor, everything. One bright spot: T-shirts with names of dozens of Jersey towns inside the state map. A steal for five bucks each!

12. Joyce Kilmer, MP 78.7 (northbound), New Jersey Turnpike. The tables and chairs look like refugees from a yard sale, and there's nothing about the poet Kilmer at the entrance. But there is a popcorn machine in the market, and a Nathan's outside.

11. Walt Whitman, MP 30.2 (southbound), New Jersey Turnpike. Nathan's and Carvel's make for a decent double bill, but the tile floor needs replacing. Easily the coldest rest stop; the air-con was cranking when I stopped.

10. Ocean View, MP 18.3 (both directions), Garden State Parkway. Not a true rest stop like the others -- there's no separate food concession, although you can grab a hot dog -- but it earns its ranking because of the tourism information center, one of the best I've seen anywhere in the country. If there were good food options here, this would be a top five rest stop.

9. Molly Pitcher, MP 71.7 (southbound), New Jersey Turnpike. Arthur Treacher's is still around? They're here, anyway, along with Roy Rogers -- perfect for your retro fix.

8. Clara Barton, MP 5.4 (southbound), New Jersey Turnpike. The walls need touching up, but at least the tables and chairs are different -- they reminded me of my 4th grade classroom, in a good way. Love the "Made in the Freakin' USA'' coozies in the market.

7. Montvale, MP 171 (both directions), Garden State Parkway. It's like stepping inside a Jersey mall, with concessions and kiosks in a circular skylit concourse. Bonus points for the Dunkin' Donuts, the only one at any Turnpike or Parkway rest stop.

6. Cheesequake, MP 124 (both directions), Garden State Parkway. The granddaddy of Jersey rest stops, situated at the crossroads of New Jersey, the only place where the Turnpike and Parkway cross. I love the big open space here, with food concessions at the edges.

5. John Fenwick, MP 5.4 (northbound), New Jersey Turnpike. Sometimes, it's the small touches that make a big difference. Like the ledges above the men's room urinals, to place that backpack or tablet. Or the serious selection of popcorn and nuts in the market.

4. James Fenimore Cooper, MP 39.4 (northbound), New Jersey Turnpike. The "Last of the Mohicans'' author may be scandalized to discover the rest stop named after him is simply known as "James Cooper'' (no relation to Gary). Still, one of the better ones, and any rest stop with a Popeye's gets bonus points from me.

3. Atlantic, MP 41.4 (both directions), Garden State Parkway. Dig the crazy furniture! 50s-style tables, chairs and banquettes somewhere between the Jetsons and Norwegian grammar school, and a welcome change from the bland industrial-grey furniture at other rest stops. The inevitable Starbucks/Burger King combo is here.

2. Grover Cleveland, MP 92.9 (northbound), New Jersey Turnpike. A casualty of Hurricane Sandy, this rest stop, which reopened last November, is architecturally striking outside -- a soaring facade reminiscent of an airline terminal -- and bright and inviting inside. One more difference: the Refresh & Co. food concession, with fresh-made sandwiches, salads, burgers.

1. Woodrow Wilson, MP 58.7 (northbound), New Jersey Turnpike. A squeeze-your-own orange juice machine? What is the rest stop world coming to? It's not the only reason why WW is at the top of these rankings; bright lighting, hardwood floors in the Refresh & Co. area, a Carvel's, and 60-plus kinds of candy stored old-school style in jars add up to rest stop nirvana.

Agree or disagree with our rankings? Have a favorite rest stop or rest stop pet peeve? Let me know in the comments area.

Peter Genovese may be reached at pgenovese@njadvancemedia.com. Follow him on Twitter at @PeteGenovese or via The Munchmobile @NJ_Munchmobile. Find the Munchmobile on Facebook and Instagram.