Mittens was a poor soul, abandoned by the world, that lost both parents in a car accident when he was just a baby.

He grew up with his aunt Mirana and uncle Sion, and their son, Digital Ebola. They always treated him badly, excluding him from shady deals and retarded decisions in the back rooms, but always tried to make it look like they gave him everything and all the love they could get in front of others so they could get their shares from the rmting scheme made by his website, TheMittani.com. But one day, when the boy was 30 something years old, a owl delivered a letter to their doorstep, addressed to "Mittens. VFK system, under the AFK stairs, Station 1". As his uncle saw the boy pick letter, he knew what it was and promptly hid the letter from Mittens. But letters kept coming in and the boy always tried to get one and see what the misterious letter had to say.

The letters kept coming and his uncle made the decision to move to an isolated land where no one could reach them, so they barricaded themselves from New Eden and hid behind the ~platform~ known as Something Awful forums, where they couldn't be downvoted or reached by letters. But then, on a rainy night, they heard a sudden knock on the door. Someone was out there in the middle of the storm, in a remote tiny desert island, knocking on their door. They hid in fear as the knocking got stronger and suddenly the door broken. A giant appeared and looked straight at Digital Ebola. He thought he was Mittens and made some joke about how cancerous he looked, and how he thought he would be thinner. He then said "it's been so long, Mittens". They told him he wasn't Mittens, but his retarded cousin, Digi. The giant then introduced himself properly and went to get to business with Mittens. He was Gorski, and he came to tell Mittens about his true self.