Irritating sayings of parents, compiled by students ages 12 and 13 at Toot Hill Comprehensive School, Bingham, Nottinghamshire, England, in 1978:

Isn’t it time you thought about bed?

It must be somewhere

You speak to him, Harold, he won’t listen to me.

Who do you think I am?

You’d better ask your father

It’s late enough as it is

Don’t eat with your mouth open

In this day and age

Did anybody ask your opinion

I remember when I was a boy

And after all we do for you

You’re not talking to your school friends now you know

Why don’t you do it the proper way

I’m only trying to tell you

What did I just say

Now, wrap up warm

B.E.D. spells bed

Sit up straight and don’t gobble your food

For the five hundredth time

Don’t let me ever see you do that again.

Have you made your bed?

Can’t you look further than your nose?

No more lip

Have you done your homework?

Because I say so.

Don’t come those fancy ways here

Any more and you’ll be in bed

My, haven’t you grown

Some day I won’t be here, then you’ll see

A chair’s for sitting on

You shouldn’t need telling at your age.

Want, want, want, that’s all you ever say

“I don’t think my parents liked me,” wrote Woody Allen. “They put a live teddy bear in my crib.”