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On Sunday Spanish football brings us the most eagerly anticipated and similarly disappointing fixture of the season, El Clasico.

Real Madrid travel to Barcelona in the hope that their front three of Ronaldo, Bale and Benzema can outscore Messi, Neymar and Suarez - it's a mouthwatering prospect.

Despite having a world's best star-studded attacking names on the pitch you can guarantee there'll be more names in the referee's little book than balls in the net.

The Nou Camp can be a cauldron of ill tempered reactions, bad tackles and referee hounding when this fixture comes around, no doubt Sunday will be the same.

With that in mind, El Clasico is made for one man. A monster. A terrifying loose cannon.

PEEEEEEPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEE! (cue screaming children)

But just how does one of the craziest defenders in modern football get himself prepared for such a huge game? Well, a bit like this I reckon...

Watches repeats of Mike Tyson fights

Throws darts at a picture of Lionel Messi

Sharpens his studs

Baths in protein shakes

Shaves his head

Gives himself a wet willy