It’s taken me a couple of days to process the transcendent awfulness of the marriage equality plebiscite.

I’m normally inclined to overlook religious faith as a somewhat well-meaning suspension of adult brain function and personal moral responsibility.

But since it seems a tiny number of my idiot Christian compatriots have decided to stand in judgement on my (biologically normal and abundant throughout nature) sex activities, I’ve decided that I will no longer indulge your Big Lie: that Christ died for your sins and that either you or I have anything elemental or original for which to atone.

Our politeness has too long allowed you to rely on your tooth fairy stories as a pretext for needless cruelty to people of apparent difference (which – let’s be honest – is historically the Christian MO).

Now, my patience is exhausted.

So… Christians… (Muslims, Jews, Sikhs, Hindus: best you pay attention too) – from now on, every time I see one of you half-wits use your Little Golden Books as ‘reason’ to ignore the basic codes of humanity, dispossess people, protect child abusers, evade the law and avoid paying tax, prepare to hear more and more each day from we, the sensible billions, an escalating roar of mockery and contempt.

Love from Berlin, where people including me do super twisted sex things, with love and respect. And even eat ham.

PS…fossils.