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Episode Introduction

cuppycup:

Ain't Slayed Nobody is a Call of Cthulhu podcast with violent themes and adult language. Listener discretion is advised.

Narrator (cuppycup):

It's 8:00 a.m. sharp on July 12th, 1891, and it's hotter than hell and half of Mexico. Six figures stand on the Canutillo Railroad Bridge, thirty feet above the Rio Grande. A mustached man in dusty, tattered clothing shuffles on the ballast near the southern edge of the bridge. His hands are bound behind his back and a rope encircles his neck. Directly behind this prisoner, offset to his right, stands Ellie Bishop wearing a beat-up deputy badge. She takes her stance across two railroad ties and studies the prisoner. Five paces to her right, a leery fella, Lance Kilkenny, looks out of place. Two more men, Johnny and Jeremiah, are posted on either side, about 20 yards away from the tied-up fella. They appear to be guarding the bridge. Being as these men look more ragged than a dog's left ear, it's strange to find them here. Deputy Bishop then nods to a priest on her left, and he administers the last rites.

"Dead Man Walking" by Cody Fry:

(lyrics) I am a dead man walkin'. I see the light comin'. And it feels warm on my face, but I can tell it's gonna burn me down.

An Execution

Flint:

You are damned. But the Lord looks upon you as you deliver your final breaths. Begone from this earth.

Chuck (Johnny):

Those are some dark final rites.

Flint:

I'm a very specific denomination.

cuppycup:

The prisoner, a fella y'all know as Maxwell Posey speaks.

Maxwell (cuppycup):

Oy, let's just get this over with.

cuppycup:

And Ellie, you have... you're kind of keeping a grip on this prisoner.

Johnny:

Miss Ellie, if it's all the same to you, I'd just as soon get this on with.

cuppycup:

So Johnny yells from 20 yards away.

Chuck (Johnny):

Did I not project enough? Let me stand back and yell.

Johnny:

Miss Ellie, I'd just as soon get this on with!

Jeremiah:

I'd like to ask that law lady a question. Is that alright?

cuppycup:

That's OK. No roll needed.

Jeremiah:

Hey there, real quick. You want to just get this over with, I'll just shoot that guy right in the head.

Ellie:

Naw, that's too easy.

Jeremiah:

Alright. Have it your way.

cuppycup:

And I'll remind you that the prisoner already has a noose around his neck, which is tied to the rail. So...

Lance:

You might want to save your ammunition.

Johnny:

We're all kind of deferring to the authority.

Ellie:

I'm not the one actually doing it, right? I have my crew who can take care of it.

Jay (Lance):

Uh, no no, it's you .

Jeremiah:

Reckon, if you want to carry out a sentence you might as well do it yourself.

Jay (Lance):

What's that Game of Thrones quote? "The man who passes the sentence should swing the sword."

Johnny:

Miss Ellie, if you ain't got the stomach for it, I'd be obliged.

Jeremiah:

What's Game of Thrones? (laughter)

cuppycup:

The prisoner's a bit confused, to be honest, as you all yell back and forth about what's about to happen. He's gonna say what he assumes are gonna be last words.

Maxwell (cuppycup):

Y'all fixin' to kill me unarmed like a dog and I should've gone down fighting. As for the yellow belly who turnt me over...

cuppycup:

He looks at Lance over his right shoulder, then turns back and spits.

Maxwell (cuppycup):

And Brock, the redeemed family man up north. Well, I hope I see you both in Hell. Now let's hurry this up.

Chuck (Johnny):

So Johnny comes on down from his post over to where this guy is, and he takes an old rusted knife out and sticks it in the guy's belt and he says,

Johnny:

There, now you ain't unarmed anymore.

cuppycup:

So Maxwell, he feels that knife, even though it's a small knife.

Chuck (Johnny):

He didn't stick it in, he didn't like shove it in his gut. He just sticks it in his belt like... [record scratch]

cuppycup:

Oh, let's run that back. I thought you stuck it in his belly at the belt.

Chuck (Johnny):

No, I didn't run up and just stab him.

Wes (Jeremiah):

Chuck just stabbed him.

Chuck (Johnny):

I mean, Jesus.

cuppycup:

So Johnny walks over to the prisoner and he puts a knife... He arms him, he puts the knife in his belt even though his hands are bound. So, he symbolically does that. Leaves his sentinel post to do that.

Chuck (Johnny):

I mean, unless you're telling me something else, soon as he's done with that, he's gonna walk back to his sentinel post. Unless you're telling me something is about to happen?

Flint:

Let's kick him off the bridge and run.

Lance:

Yeah, Ellie, go ahead and kick him off please.

Alex (Ellie):

What if the prisoner suddenly gets tired of the delay and jumps off himself?

cuppycup:

He's considering it.

Wes (Jeremiah):

(laughter) Is being a Game Master that bad?

Lance:

Can I just be walking over to the prisoner and give him a shove off?

cuppycup:

You're welcome to do that.

Chuck (Johnny):

I appreciate your dedication to killing this guy.

cuppycup:

I would give Ellie the option to oppose that action if she wants to.

Alex (Ellie):

I wouldn't oppose it. I think it makes sense in the chaos for somebody to ...

Chuck (Johnny):

Die.

Alex (Ellie):

...to just push him off already.

cuppycup:

Ellie, you look over and you see that Lance has a wild eye. Lance, how are you gonna do this thing?

Lance:

I'm just gonna give him a shove off. I'd like to whisper in his ear before though.

cuppycup:

Yeah. Go for it.

Lance:

The only reason I done this is because you have no honor on ya. There's nothing good about you nor Colin. And that's why you have to die.

Jay (Lance):

And then I shove him. (loud boom and bones breaking)

cuppycup:

That was too much.

Chuck (Johnny):

So you dropped him on top of a warhead.

Jeremiah:

Yeah, God don't take too kindly to somebody taking another life.

Jay (Lance):

Yeah, I think that was thunder. I think that was lightning hitting.

cuppycup:

Alternatively, it may have sounded... this is like the movie "Clue." It may have sounded like this. (body falling and neck breaking) There we go.

Wes (Jeremiah):

I like that better.

cuppycup:

So it was a clean, hard break of the neck as he was pushed off the bridge. And now he's just dangling there lifeless with any additional information he may have had in his brain now gone.

Chuck (Johnny):

Are you suggesting that maybe we should have investigated that further?

cuppycup:

I am simply speculating that...

Chuck (Johnny):

In our role as investigators, are we maybe not doing any investigating? We're just leaping to murder.

cuppycup:

I'm not going to recount his last words, but maybe there was something going on there.

Jeremiah:

Hey, did y'all hear something when he fell? (laughter) I want to roll for necromancy.

cuppycup:

As he falls off the bridge, he screams something about Colin Brock's location.

Lance:

I thought you told us that Colin Brock was up north when he was saying his last words in the beginning.

cuppycup:

I do think Maxwell said something to that effect.

Brandon (Flint):

So maybe Maxwell can tell us the location that we maybe should have heard from the dead man.

Chuck (Johnny):

Maxwell is the dead man. (laughter) Welp, job well done.

An Ambush?

cuppycup:

So now what we have is a dead man hanging from the railroad bridge. Ellie and Lance are kind of standing there. They're pretty sure that old Maxwell's dead.

Jay (Lance):

See, I don't like way you said that. They're "pretty sure" he's dead.

cuppycup:

Oh, OK. Did you want to put a bullet in him?

Jay (Lance):

I don't know if I'll be trusting you .

Jeremiah:

I offered to shoot him.

cuppycup:

Next, I'd like everyone to roll for LISTEN. And when you roll for LISTEN with the distraction of the hanging scene on the bridge and the sound of the Rio Grande rushing beneath you, everyone is going to be looking for a hard success here.

Brandon (Flint):

So, I just rolled a 74 and my numbers are twenty-five, twelve, and five, if that makes sense.

cuppycup:

You don't hear anything, you're just...

Brandon (Flint):

What did you say?

Jeremiah:

I rolled a one hundred.

Chuck (Johnny):

So you failed on anything no matter what, right?

cuppycup:

Jeremiah, you hear a loud rustling sound coming from your side of the bridge and you see something duck behind a tree.

Jeremiah:

Ambush comin'! On our side of the bridge.

Chuck (Johnny):

Johnny is not exactly leaping to set up a defensive perimeter.

Jeremiah:

I tell you, man, they're comin'.

cuppycup:

Father Flint, What are you doing?

Flint:

I am waiting for everyone to run with me because I'm already five paces ahead.

cuppycup:

You're running toward the ambush or away from the ambush?

Flint:

I'm running away from the ambush 'cause I don't have any weapons.

cuppycup:

Ok. So Father Flint is moving toward the Texas side, the Canutillo side of the bridge.

Chuck (Johnny):

I think Johnny likes the cut of his jib. And he's gonna take one look at that and go, "yeah, that seems like the right move."

Jeremiah:

(hollering) Yeah, I tell you what now, I heard it! Let's go!

Chuck (Johnny):

Now, can I elect to do a thing or do I to wait for you to tell me to roll for something?

cuppycup:

No, you tell me what action you want to do and then I'll make a decision about whether there's a roll.

Chuck (Johnny):

And you tell me if this is a legit thing to do, but I would like to roll SPOT HIDDEN.

cuppycup:

Okay.

Chuck (Johnny):

To see if I can tell what is coming and where.

cuppycup:

Yeah, I think that's a legitimate reaction to him screaming out that there's an ambush coming.

Chuck (Johnny):

Alright. That is a thirty-nine.

cuppycup:

Johnny, he kinda peers over to the New Mexico side. And Johnny, keep in mind, he has great eyes and he sees nothing. He really starts to doubt that the testimony of Jeremiah here that they're about to be ambushed.

Johnny:

Y'all, I think that Jeremiah might be full of shit!

Jeremiah:

I tell you what's full of shit, YOU!

Chuck (Johnny):

This is the rest of the episode.

cuppycup:

Keep in mind, we have a...

Johnny:

Nuh uh, you are!

Jeremiah:

You know what else is full of shit? That deer over there, man. He's leaving 'em.

cuppycup:

We have a drifter and a roaming miner arguing. This is what happens when you set them up as sentinels, I think.

Chuck (Johnny):

Hey, Cup. Can you describe to me this bridge that we're standing on? I'm a structural engineer, I need to hear these things.

cuppycup:

It's about 40 yards in length. It is... The surface is mostly consumed by the railroad sleepers and rails. You know, just a regular old railroad. But there are metal beams on both sides. So there's a lot of space in between these beams. But we do have kinda cross beams and arches on each side.

Chuck (Johnny):

So it does have kind of trusses up above?

cuppycup:

Exactly.

Chuck (Johnny):

Gotcha.

cuppycup:

So what's actually going to happen now because of all the failures that have happened up to this point...

Narrator (cuppycup):

About a half mile east of the necktie social on the Canutillo Bridge, on the side opposite Jeremiah's hooting and hollering, two riders appear and then vanish like ghosts. They bob in and out of the heat rising off the Texas plain as their horses barrel through the brush. These cowboys are fixin' to throw fat in the fire. Cries from the birds would have tipped off the ambush if it weren't two ticks too late. The riders draw rifles without breakin' stride and take aim at Lance Kilkenny, the man in black.

cuppycup:

There are two people who are gonna be firing on you in this round, and I'm going to let them fire with advantage because of the surprise attack. So they're gonna be able to roll twice. And if they beat their number with either of those rolls, they're gonna be able to inflict some damage. OK. The first rider takes aim and... hits! So he has successfully shot Lance Kilkenny.

Lance:

Owwww!

cuppycup:

It's 1D6+1 damage. That's 3. It doesn't cause a major wound, but Lance does take a shot through the thigh. Blood squirts out everywhere. It gets on Ellie a little bit and everyone, with the rifle shot, is very aware that you are under fire now. Even Jeremiah has to acknowledge that the ambush is coming from the other side of the bridge.

Jay (Lance):

Hey, so do I like subtract the hit points?

cuppycup:

Yes.

Jay (Lance):

OK. So I have nine points now.

cuppycup:

Yeah. It's not so bad.

Jay (Lance):

I think it was more of a calf shot than a thigh shot to be honest with you.

cuppycup:

Well, it's kind of like and not through the thigh bone but kind of off to the side.

Jay (Lance):

Well, you've got to worry about the arteries in there.

cuppycup:

I'm not too worried about them.

Jay (Lance):

OK, cool.

cuppycup:

Yeah. If it gets infected or you bleed out later, we'll have to deal with that.

Jay (Lance):

Fair enough.

cuppycup:

I actually, rolled for location, which is something I can do. If it was 3 damage to the head, we would've had to get creative with the rifle.

Jay (Lance):

It would have popped one of my cauliflower ears. That would've been fine.

cuppycup:

The second rider also fires off a shot. (gunshot) He's clearly a bad shot because he's in range with a rifle and he misses the entire party. We have two riders. They're still making an approach toward the bridge. They're probably, oh, about 30 yards away at this point. This is optional in this game, but I'm going to ask you to roll for initiative. So you're rolling against your DEXTERITY and this is going to determine the order of combat for you and the enemies.

Chuck (Johnny):

So it's just a success or not?

cuppycup:

Well, I need to know your degree of success.

Wes (Jeremiah):

Tell me one more time what number I would want.

cuppycup:

If you want to be the first attacker, you would want to roll extreme success. Hard success will go next, followed by regular success, followed by a failed roll.

Brandon (Flint):

So, like, I have a ninety-three.

cuppycup:

That's pretty bad. So you're probably go nna go last.

Chuck (Johnny):

I got a 19, which is a HARD SUCCESS.

cuppycup:

Ok.

Jay (Lance):

I rolled a 14.

cuppycup:

Ok. So it's EXTREME SUCCESS. So you see DEXTERITY 70 and then one-fifth is 14. Yeah, so if you roll 14 or below 14 then that's an extreme success. Alex, what did you roll ?

Alex (Ellie):

62.

cuppycup:

And then Jeremiah?

Jeremiah:

I rolled an 82.

cuppycup:

Ooh. OK.

Jay (Lance):

So, I guess it's up to me.

cuppycup:

Lance, what would you like to do?

Jay (Lance):

I guess I'll just go ahead and take a shot.

Brandon (Flint):

Of what, whiskey or rum or?

Jay (Lance):

Well, they only have two riders, right, is what you said?

cuppycup:

As far as y'all can tell, there are two. Two people shot at you. You're assuming two.

Jay (Lance):

Ya see, I don't like the way you said, "as far as you can tell."

Lance Fires Back

cuppycup:

Alright, so are you taking one shot with one of your pistols or... See, what's going to happen is if you decide to fire both, you'll probably have a lower accuracy.

Jay (Lance):

I'm only going to fire one at this point.

cuppycup:

They're not in range. Well, there are different levels of ranges. So there's your base range for your gun. And then they're a little bit further out for you than that. So I'm going to need a hard success from you to make a hit.

Jay (Lance):

Ok, I guess I'll roll for it. So, I'm looking to roll a thirty-two, is that what it is?

cuppycup:

That's correct.

Jay (Lance):

It's a twenty-one.

cuppycup:

Alright. So you go ahead and describe the action of you hitting one of the riders.

Lance:

I level up my pistol, aim it at the rider on the right. I squeeze the trigger and it hits him.

cuppycup:

Where?

Jay (Lance):

Do I need to roll for location?

cuppycup:

What you can do is roll 1D8. See how much damage you do and then use that to describe the wound you've inflicted.

Jay (Lance):

It's a seven.

Lance:

The bullet hits him right in the torso. Straight out the back. The blood squirts. He leans off to the side, falling off his horse and his friend kind of looks over at him, realizes his friend's been struck. I don't know if he's down and out yet, but he's taken a good wound.

Chuck (Johnny):

So, point of order. Do we get to decide, "yeah, he fell off the horse?"

cuppycup:

You can describe what you what you think is appropriate and then what I'll do is veto you when I feel like it 's excessive.

Wes (Jeremiah):

Oh, good.

cuppycup:

But this shot that Lance fired off was a brilliant shot. And it did, i t struck him in the torso. He fell off his horse and he is unconscious immediately. So you are you are now up against as a single rider.

Chuck (Johnny):

Shit yeah!

cuppycup:

Yeah, that was a devastating shot.

Lance:

That's what you brought me along for, wasn't it?

cuppycup:

And now the real hero, Johnny Rhodes. The ball's in your court.

Chuck (Johnny):

How far away are these fellows?

cuppycup:

Ok. So the one thing about the horses is that they keep moving forward. So the second rider, after the one on the right falls off his horse unconscious, he is trying to pull up quite a bit right now to kind of reassess. But he has gotten closer to you. He's probably within 15 yards.

Chuck (Johnny):

So, like, how far can I move? My MOVE RATE is 8. Is that eight yards I can go?

cuppycup:

Moving is pretty liberally done in this game. You're not really doing a maneuver, right ? You're just trying to move and then take an action.

Chuck (Johnny):

In theory, depending on how far I can move and what that looks like.

cuppycup:

Yeah, so I think you can you can move... and you're quick, so you can move about eight to ten yards before you do something.

Chuck (Johnny):

Which is not enough to cover the distance if he's at 15?

cuppycup:

Ok. You can not engage in melee contact with him in this round, let's say that. You can move closer and like get behind a steel beam or something if you want to, but I'm not going to let you...

Chuck (Johnny):

Then that is 100 percent what I am going to do. Is there a roll to hide?

cuppycup:

I'm letting you take cover. This is gonna be something that's pretty easy for you to do. And you're not trying to be particularly stealthy about it. You're just trying to get there and get there fast.

Chuck (Johnny):

Yeah. I assume he's go nna see me do this.

cuppycup:

Yes. If he decides that you are the person that he wants to attack in the next round, he's gonna have to do that with a pretty big disadvantage because you've taken cover behind this structure.

Chuck (Johnny):

That's where Johnny is at right now.

cuppycup:

Okay. Alright, very good. So there was one more person who beat me on the roll, and I think it was Ellie, an actual gunfighter.

Chuck (Johnny):

Thank God for that.

cuppycup:

She has the next option. So, again, this villainous man has pulled up his horse about ... from you, probably 20 to 25 yards away at this point, 'cause Johnny's a little closer to the situation.And he's pretty startled by what happened because he was not expecting his partner to get taken down by a single shot from a pistol.

Alex (Ellie):

So can I use my .38?

cuppycup:

Yes, you are very welcome to do that.

Alex (Ellie):

I mean, is she strapped with her rifle?

cuppycup:

So if you roll for the handgun, that's going to be a regular shot. And I'm actually going to say that the rifle will do pretty well at this range as well. So you have a better chance of success with the rifle, so that might be a better bet. And this was the first thing that you did when you realized you were being fired upon is drew that rifle up and started to take aim at these gentlemen.

Alex (Ellie):

And the other rider, he's shaken.

cuppycup:

Yeah. So you could...

Alex (Ellie):

And, like, he looks back.

cuppycup:

Yeah. He's kind of shaken trying to slow things up a little bit, maybe kind a looking around, trying to assess whether he can find cover. But he, right now, is out in the open. So you could opt to to fire on him or you could fire on the unconscious man and try to finish him off.

Johnny:

Don't you worry about him, Miss Ellie. I got him.

cuppycup:

Well, one of them is threatening you imminently.

Ellie:

I'm go nna fire on him and hit him in the chest?

cuppycup:

Well, you may not hit him. So go ahead and roll your your percentage dice to figure out that that piece of it.

Alex (Ellie):

Seventy-two.

An Unusual Request

cuppycup:

Alright. So, unfortunately, Ellie, you have a bead on this man, this rider who is a little bit stunned by what's happened. Unfortunately, when he kind a stops to pull that horse up, it really throws your aim off and you fire your gun, but the bullet is just nowhere near the rider. (gunshot) Alright, so it is now the lone rider's move. He's going to do something... So he's kind of pulled up his horse here and he's trying to figure out his odds and whether he wants to tussle with those dual pistols of Lance Kilkenny again . Before he takes his action, he shouts out to y'all.

Lone Rider (cuppycup):

I just want the body.

Chuck (Johnny):

Cool, perfectly normal thing to want.

Jeremiah:

We've got a body over here. We're willing to... I reckon we could haggle with you.

Flint:

Why would he want the body? What do you think's on the body?

cuppycup:

He can't hear any of this.

Chuck (Johnny):

Can we yell at him?

Johnny:

What do you want the body for?

Lone Rider (cuppycup):

Now, don't you worry about that. I just need that body.

Flint:

That sounds suspicious.

Johnny:

Hey, real quick, group huddle. Are we givin' this guy the body ?

Flint:

Can I look at the body first? Can we look for any suspicious things before we give it over to him?

cuppycup:

It's an odd request because the body is dangling, you know, like 10 feet off of the edge of this bridge.

Jay (Lance):

(singing) Do what you want, what you want with the body.

Jeremiah:

Anybody got a knife? Reckon we could cut the rope and drop the body in the water. Then nobody gets the body.

Jay (Lance):

I think Maxwell has a knife. (laughing)

Chuck (Johnny):

Can I roll to climb down to the body to get the knife?

cuppycup:

Johnny, did you recover that knife?

Johnny:

That was not my good knife. I was not trying to... I was trying to say that that was just some rusty piece of shit 'cause I was not giving him my good fighting knife.

Jeremiah:

I just reckon one of them would be useful right now if anybody didn't strap it to a body that was about to be hanged.

Chuck (Johnny):

Yeah, this was a butter knife, basically.

cuppycup:

That shank you fashioned out of a comb.

Chuck (Johnny):

Yeah, it was a sharpened toothbrush that I gave him.

cuppycup:

Alright. So he just yelled that out. He's trying to figure out if he wants to continue this combat or if y'all are gonna give him the body, kind of no questions asked.

Flint:

I want to question some asks.

Chuck (Johnny):

Where are y'all at on giving him this body?

Brandon (Flint):

I feel like we flubbed one thing already, so we might as well be thorough about looking for this...

Chuck (Johnny):

Continue to flub things.

Jeremiah:

I reckon somebody wants a body, they've got a dark story.

Lance:

I'd like to ask him why he wants the body.

Jeremiah:

Sheriff, what's the policy on body givin'?

Alex (Ellie):

I think we need to ask... we can kind of recover what we missed before when we just let the guy die. Obviously, since the guy's connected to... What's his name, Brock?

cuppycup:

Colin Brock, yes. Your mortal enemy. (laughter)

Chuck (Johnny):

What was that guy's name?

Jeremiah:

Ain't that the guy that maybe killed your pappy?

Alex (Ellie):

I think we should ask him if he has any connection to him. Like if you want him, then are you associated with Brock?

Chuck (Johnny):

Give us the character voice on that.

Alex (Ellie):

I can't do a character voice. I really can't do a character voice.

Chuck (Johnny):

Don't worry about it.

cuppycup:

Do your regular voice but make sure you holler.

Chuck (Johnny):

He'll twang it in post.

Ellie:

What do you want with the body?

cuppycup:

He's heard nothing. So he's just kind of sitting there idle on his horse 20 yards away.

Chuck (Johnny):

She didn't yell it enough?

cuppycup:

No, not enough hollerin'.

Jeremiah:

I reckon he's far away, Miss.

Alex (Ellie):

Do I really have to holler?

cuppycup:

Just a little bit.

Ellie:

(louder) What do you want with the body?

Jeremiah:

There it is.

Lone Rider (cuppycup):

I reckon, I don't... I got orders. I don't even know. Just give me the damn body.

Johnny:

Where are you going to take the body?

Lone Rider (cuppycup):

Ah, shit.

Ellie:

Who are your orders from?

cuppycup:

Look, y'all ask too many damn questions. Just cut that body. Let me load it up on my horse here.

Jeremiah:

You want us to cut up the body?

Chuck (Johnny):

A little "Saved by the Bell" timeout here. Can we... and I'm asking the team, is there some sort of subterfuge we can engage in here where we act like we're gonna give him the body and somebody gets the drop on him? I don't know what that looks like.

Wes (Jeremiah):

I don't hate that.

Brandon (Flint):

That's a cool idea. Let's do it.

Lance:

I think what we'd be trying to do here is one of us makes to look like we're cutting the body down and then we draw as we're cuttin'.

Jeremiah:

When he gets close to collect the body, we can just dangle him over the bridge as such and he could give us information.

Johnny:

How about you get off that horse? You put that gun down. You come over here, and we'll get you that body.

cuppycup:

Alright. So why don't you give me a FAST TALK roll.

Chuck (Johnny):

Hey, guess what I'm not awesome at? That is a 38, which is a fail.

Brandon (Flint):

Good job.

cuppycup:

He's very skeptical of what you're asking him to do.

Lone Rider (cuppycup):

Hell no, I ain't getting off my horse!

cuppycup:

And he's stalled combat long enough now that he's essentially lost his turn. So, if you are interested in re-engaging him in combat, you will have the drop on him in the sense that he will be last in the order.

Johnny:

Hey, somebody shoot this mother...

Lance:

Can I?

Flint:

Let's kill him. Let's try to kill him.

Chuck (Johnny):

It absolutely will not be me.

Lance:

Can I take another shot at him then?

Jeremiah Takes a Shot

Jeremiah:

I reckon if y'all need some help, I got me a gun here I could shoot.

cuppycup:

Good old Jeremiah. You're probably a good 35 to 40 yards away from the rider.

Jeremiah:

That's fine. Jackrabbits out in the mines in Idaho, were always like 50, 60 yards.

Chuck (Johnny):

Grandpa's got a firearm. Let's just do that.

cuppycup:

And you have... Remind me of your weapon.

Jeremiah:

I got a .45.

cuppycup:

Geez.

Chuck (Johnny):

Hell, yeah!

Jeremiah:

I'm gonna turn this guy's femur into mist. (laughter)

cuppycup:

Oh, goodness. Alright. This is gonna be long range for your weapon.

Jeremiah:

Long range for your weapon. It's just range for me.

cuppycup:

You're go nna need... Wow ! Your handgun skill is phenomenal.

Jeremiah:

I told you I'm gonna wax this fucker.

cuppycup:

You're gonna need a hard success, though. Why don't you go ahead and roll to see how you do.

Wes (Jeremiah):

Yeah, what's that, d100?

cuppycup:

Yes.

Jay (Lance):

He's go nna roll another hundred.

Jeremiah:

I rolled a five.

Jay (Lance):

I think his head's gone.

cuppycup:

So why don't you describe what happened. Oh, you're going to need to roll your damage first.

Chuck (Johnny):

I believe he said femur into mist.

Wes (Jeremiah):

So damage is the d8?

cuppycup:

For you, it's a d10+2!

Wes (Jeremiah):

My bad. A d10+2. Sick. Alright. Well, I rolled a 10.

Chuck (Johnny):

Goddamn!

Jay (Lance):

Yeah, his head's gone.

cuppycup:

Alright. Why don't you describe what happened and be aggressive.

Jay (Lance):

He gave him a lead salad.

Jeremiah:

After I watched my whole party kind of do half-assed, I decided to pull weapon, since I was getting paid a fair day's salary. I thought I might help out. So I drew down on him and shot him in the leg, blowing him clean off his horse. He cartwheeled down the hill, lands right next to the body. (gunshot, blood squirting, body falling and rolling) He's still alive, though.

cuppycup:

At first glance, Jeremiah believes the rider is alive. But he's very dead.

Jeremiah:

No, he's alive. I told you. That's what I was trying to do.

cuppycup:

He's so dead.

Jeremiah:

He's very much alive and cognizant.

Lance:

Hey, it's Lance Kilkenny checking in here. I could be wrong. I could be mistaken. But didn't cup say the other guy was still alive there? Just unconscious.

Chuck (Johnny):

He is unconscious, yes.

Lance:

Maybe we just hold onto that body for a little bit then.

Chuck (Johnny):

Are you suggesting that maybe we should investigate something at some point?

Lance:

I'm thinking that maybe something we ought to do.

Chuck (Johnny):

The characters are called investigators and not, like, bloodthirsty murderers.

cuppycup:

Yes. So there is one very dead former rider.

Lance:

Lots and lots of femur mist going around over there.

cuppycup:

There is one... This is possibly the most unsuccessful ambush of all time .

Lance:

I think General George Custer might have something to say about that.

Chuck (Johnny):

I would like to go investigate our unconscious friend over there.

cuppycup:

Ok.

Lance:

And I'd like to investigate the body.

Flint:

I'd like to investigate the body as well to see what's so interesting about it.

Chuck (Johnny):

When you say the body, we have racked up a count. Which one are y'all referring to?

Lance:

I'm talking about Maxwell. I'd also like to get the knife back for Johnny, if at all possible.

Johnny:

Much obliged.

Johnny's Interrogation

Chuck (Johnny):

I am going to go over to the unconscious gentlemen. Can I confirm he's definitely unconscious and not about to leap up and grab me by the throat? Or do we need to put a bullet in this guy too?

Jeremiah:

Poke him with a stick!

Ellie:

Can we tie him up?

Johnny:

Let's tie him up. I like that .

Ellie:

Because we need information out of him, so ...

Johnny:

Does anybody have a rope that ... Hey, we're about to pull that body up! Can we use that rope?

Jeremiah:

I reckon that's a long one.

cuppycup:

Why don't you... Ellie, why don't you roll for LUCK?

Alex (Ellie):

Ok. Eleven.

cuppycup:

That's very strong. You have a LUCK of 65. So lucky for you and your fellow investigators, when you tied up Maxwell Posey's hands, you used the length of cord. But you have a bunch of leftover cord to do whatever you'd like with.

Johnny:

Yeah, let's tie this bad boy up.

cuppycup:

Alright. That's easy enough for...

Chuck (Johnny):

Do I need to roll knot tying?

cuppycup:

For the five of you to tie up an unconscious man... It's gonna be something that you're capable of doing.

Chuck (Johnny):

Alright, then I wan na rummage through his pockets.

cuppycup:

After he's tied up?

Chuck (Johnny):

Yes, very much after he's tied up.

cuppycup:

He's now bound at, what, the ankles and wrists?

Chuck (Johnny):

No, we hogtied him.

Jeremiah:

Hell yeah!

Chuck (Johnny):

Bound at the ankles and wrists, but then they're tied to each other behind his back.

Jeremiah:

Can we put him up on like some sticks and like dangle him like in cartoons?

Chuck (Johnny):

Like we're Ewoks?

cuppycup:

He's just tied up normally if there's the normal way to do that.

Chuck (Johnny):

This is some "Lord of the Flies" shit over here.

cuppycup:

Why don't you roll SPOT HIDDEN for me.

Chuck (Johnny):

That's a 94, I didn't find jack shit. I couldn't find his pockets.

Johnny:

This guy's not wearin' pants as far as I can tell y'all.

cuppycup:

You look back to your fellow investigators and inform them that you believe the pockets are sewn shut.

Chuck (Johnny):

I wasted my good rolls. We wasted the good surprise on your shitty crit fail.

cuppycup:

Well, you know, your two HANDGUN roles where were pretty handy as a team. Alright, so that was an unsuccessful aspect of the investigation. Anything else you'd like to do?

Chuck (Johnny):

We are the worst investigators. Can someone else investigate or are we tapped out on investigating that aspect?

cuppycup:

No, you can all kind a poke around. I mean, there's not a lot of time pressure as far as you can tell.

Brandon (Flint):

There's no more ambushes.

First Aid Attempt

Lance:

See, you keep coming in with that "as far as you can tell." I would like to know which one of you has FIRST AID because I heard one of you give some points to it earlier in the game. (clanging noise)

Chuck (Johnny):

Oh, sorry about that.

cuppycup:

Johnny drops his first aid kid.

Johnny:

I just dropped it in the river.

Jeremiah:

If you're willing to give me half your day's pay, I'll patch that wound up for you.

Lance:

I'll be honest with you, Jeremiah. Ya called an ambush from the absolute wrong side of the bridge. I don't want you anywhere near me.

Jeremiah:

Yeah, but the thing is, I like blew the guy in half.

Johnny:

This does seem like it was your fault.

Jeremiah:

Alright, that's fair. I'll go. I'll come patch you up for nothing.

Lance:

The other thing is I think I still have femur mist on me.

Jeremiah:

I just... Reckon in the mines, people be falling down and getting all scuffed up and nothing. I done sewed up a couple of stumps for people and satisfactorily attached and affixed twigs and various branches on so they could be bipedal again. I got no no proper medical training, but my granpappy gave me a book when I was young called "You Have a Body" and it showed it. Reckon, I have a knack for it, though.

Chuck (Johnny):

The creepy thing is that with cup, I'm sure that this is exactly how he expected this to go.

Lance:

Here's what I worry about. Cup had said that the ambush did come from the Texas side of the border, did come from the town that would be the nearest town to go get first aid. As much as I'd love go back to Canutillo, I'm afraid the only option I have for my first aid is to rely on old Jeremiah over there.

Jeremiah:

Yeah, that's a good decision right here. We're out in the field. I can take care of it for you.

Lance:

Alright, so let's see if this thing's about to get infected.

Jeremiah:

Hold on, I got to spit on this here needle to disinfect it.

Chuck (Johnny):

I hope that you roll a hundred and his leg falls off.

Jeremiah:

Alright. Here we go, I'm rolling one. I got a 73.

cuppycup:

Which is fine because you're 80.

Wes (Jeremiah):

OK. Yeah, I know. It just makes me laugh because I keep rolling these fuckin'...

cuppycup:

So, describe the FIRST AID you've applied.

Chuck (Johnny):

The only thing you're good at is murder.

Jeremiah:

One time I found myself with some natives walking down from the Dakotas and we was ambushed and the blood mist, I took and made a paste out of with some dirt powder, and rubbed it on the wounds and it helped.

cuppycup:

Which helps Lance recover one of his hit points.

Chuck (Johnny):

Oooooh.

Jeremiah:

You feel better, big guy?

Lance:

I feel a little bit better, I'm not gonna lie to ya. I have no idea what that paste was you made, but...

Chuck (Johnny):

Some homeopathic medicine.

Jeremiah:

I told you I had a knack for it.

Chuck (Johnny):

I feel like it's very important that somebody discovers something about what's going on. I failed miserably at it.

The Investigation Continues

Alex (Ellie):

Are there saddlebags that we can go through on the horses?

cuppycup:

Yes, that's right. On the remaining horse, there are saddlebags. One of the horses really got startled by that last brutal murder and ran off. And one horse is just kind of idling, walking around the murder scene. I'm calling it murder but perhaps it was justified. I think it's gonna be ... It's gonna be a SPOT HIDDEN. So go ahead and make a roll.

Alex (Ellie):

When it's a double zero plus a number. Is it just...

cuppycup:

It's a single-digit number.

Alex (Ellie):

I have three.

cuppycup:

Three. Wow! That's an extreme success. So she had the ingenious idea to look through the saddlebags on the horse and she finds all kinds of fun things. Some provisions, some jerky and water, which, to be honest, with the Texas sun beating down on all of you, it's a welcome sight. More importantly than that, she finds what appears to be a crudely drawn map. And it looks to Ellie like the map has the Rio Grande drawn in. So that approximate kind a snakelike shape of the Rio Grande. And there's a pretty clear marking for the origin point and the destination. She immediately recognizes the destination based on its proximity to the Rio Grande as being Canutillo and the best she can tell... and of course, you can all look at the map, but it looks like the origin is somewhere in the northwest in New Mexico.

Chuck (Johnny):

Johnny says, "oh, awesome, found some water." And then he walks down to the Rio Grande river right below the bridge and fills up his canteen.

cuppycup:

He dumps out the canteen of fresh water you found?

Wes (Jeremiah):

We're about to play Sims for 20 minutes with these characters.

Chuck (Johnny):

No, his was already empty.

cuppycup:

Alright. So now investigators, you have ...

Chuck (Johnny):

We got a map.

cuppycup:

A dead body.

Jay (Lance):

We don't have two dead bodies?

cuppycup:

One unconscious body with a major wound.

Jay (Lance):

No, but like, we have the thigh mist body and the hanging body.

About the Hanging Body

cuppycup:

Oh, there's the hanging body. I mean, you could do something with that if you'd like.

Jay (Lance):

I'd like to investigate that.

cuppycup:

How are you gonna do that?

Jay (Lance):

Well, I'm going to pull the rope back up.

Flint:

I'll help.

Jay (Lance):

Thanks, Jeremiah.

Flint:

This is the Father, the Man of God.

Jay (Lance):

Thanks, Flint.

Chuck (Johnny):

Who would like to do a thing.

Brandon (Flint):

I'd like to do something besides drink whiskey over here.

cuppycup:

So Father Flint and Lance Kilkenny mosey over to the railroad bridge with the ambition of pulling up the corpse of Maxwell Posey. Why don't you both roll for STRENGTH for me?

Brandon (Flint):

Got a 29.

Jay (Lance):

15.

cuppycup:

Oh wow, so you ... The two of you, effortlessly, almost in just one tug, together, pull the corpse of Maxwell Posey back onto the railroad bridge where he is strewn about lifelessly.

Jeremiah:

That ain't the first time you've done that, is it, boys?

Flint:

What? Finished something in one tug? (laughter)

Jay (Lance):

Dam mit.

Chuck (Johnny):

Oh, boy.

Lance:

Okay, dinner is served.

Chuck (Johnny):

Johnny collects that old butter knife.

cuppycup:

I'm go nna let you do that without a roll.

Chuck (Johnny):

Okay.

Jay (Lance):

But we want to take a look at the body to figure out why the other guy wanted it, right?

cuppycup:

What are you looking for? Are you searching pockets or...?

Jay (Lance):

I don't know. Like, I kinda just want to cut him open and see if there's anything freaky we should know about.

Wes (Jeremiah):

Ted Bundy used to do that.

Chuck (Johnny):

Did you say cut him open? I don't want to blow right past that.

Jay (Lance):

Well, I mean, this is supposed to be spooky, right? We got to get spooky at some point.

Chuck (Johnny):

Are you saying this in character? "Hey, our lives are supposed to be spooky, right?"

cuppycup:

The spookiness might be a slow burn.

Jay (Lance):

So, yeah, I'll just be searching the pockets then.

cuppycup:

I'm not even going to make you roll for searching the pockets.

Chuck (Johnny):

Wait, but I had to!

Wes (Jeremiah):

Yeah. Why?

Well, the reason why is that this is not Ellie's first rodeo. And she had already emptied this man's pockets. This is actually...

Wes (Jeremiah):

Ah, fair point.

cuppycup:

The clothing was actually provided by Ellie to the prisoner. And there's nothing of interest in the pockets or any of the clothing.

Flint:

Well then, let's cut him open.

Jeremiah:

They used to put kids like you in special schools where I'm from.

Flint:

That's why I'm a priest.

Chuck (Johnny):

What would I need to do to try and wake up the unconscious guy?

cuppycup:

It's not gonna be something you're able to do at the moment. He's making CONSTITUTION rolls to see if he's gonna live. (laughter)

Chuck (Johnny):

Should we all just wait and see how that goes?

cuppycup:

I will say you could apply MEDICINE or FIRST AID if you'd like.

Lance:

Well, Jeremiah, you worked out well for me. Go ahead and give it a shot.

Jeremiah:

I reckon I done some necromancy in my time.

cuppycup:

I don't know if I'm supposed to allow this, but I would allow Jeremiah to apply FIRST AID if that's what you want to do as a party.

Chuck (Johnny):

I very much want that to happen.

Jeremiah:

Okay, I reckon I'll come over and fix ya.

Wes (Jeremiah):

I'm rolling the d100?

cuppycup:

Uh-huh.

Wes (Jeremiah):

Huh, yeah. Looks like a 28 right there.

cuppycup:

So it's a HARD SUCCESS. So, you are going to be able to apply enough FIRST AID to kind of get him in this hazy state. Why don't you describe the FIRST AID you've applied.

Jeremiah:

I did that thing from "Karate Kid" where Mr. Miyagi claps his hands and rubs them together real good and then applies it.

cuppycup:

Very good. And this is just enough to kind of jar this man out of unconsciousness temporarily. And he is looking up at Jeremiah like he's an angel from heaven.

Chuck (Johnny):

Do we have anybody who is good at FAST TALK?

Brandon (Flint):

I have a 12. Is that good?

Chuck (Johnny):

No, it doesn't seem like it is.

Wes (Jeremiah):

That feels bad.

cuppycup:

You are the best, Johnny.

Chuck (Johnny):

I am? God, we're bad at that.

Chuck (Johnny):

Alright. I would like to interrogate this guy to see if I can find out why they wanted that body.

cuppycup:

Alright, I'm gonna let you try to FAST TALK this guy.

Chuck (Johnny):

Let me roll first and then I'll tell you what exactly I say. That is a 32, which is a failure.

cuppycup:

For you? I have you at 35. Is that wrong?

Chuck (Johnny):

Oh, that's a 35. I'm sorry, I thought it said 25. Yeah, no, so that's a total success.

Johnny:

Hey man, listen here. No hard feelings or nothin'. We can get you back to Canutillo. We can get you patched up and everything. I mean, sure, you'll probably have some legal issues, but, ya know, we'll get you patched up. You're go nna live. I just need to know why you guys needed this body.

Lone Rider (cuppycup):

Take it to Olvido.

Johnny:

To El Vito?

Lone Rider (cuppycup):

Need his body.

Johnny:

You're gonna take the body to El Vito? Where's that? Where's that at?

Lone Rider (cuppycup):

(coughing) In Olvido.

Johnny:

No, I understand, but what were you going to do with it?

Lone Rider (cuppycup):

(coughing) Gotta take a look.

Johnny:

Take a look in El Vito? Alright, boys. I think we need to go to El Vito. El Vito, Olvido ? Hey, did that start with an "E" or an "O"?

Lone Rider (cuppycup):

Ooohhhhhhh.

Johnny:

I think this boy's bleedin' out.

Lone Rider (cuppycup):

Ooooohhhh.

Flint:

Wait, is he saying "O" as in he's hurt or...

Lone Rider (cuppycup):

Ooooooooohhhhhhh.

Johnny:

Oh, okay. Oh, God yes.

Jeremiah:

Oh, you're so correct.

Johnny:

Okay. "O". Olvido. Alright, friend, we'll get you right as rain.

cuppycup:

(coughing and pained grunt) And he dies immediately.

Johnny:

Well, you know, you win some, you lose some.

cuppycup:

The FIRST AID applied by Jeremiah was just enough to have a last breath.

Lance:

Hey, Flint, can you get over here and apply your last rites or whatever you do?

Flint:

Yes. In the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit, we're going to Ol-video.

Taking the Next Step

Chuck (Johnny):

I want to see if this guy's got a gun on him.

cuppycup:

Yeah, he fired that thing at you.

Chuck (Johnny):

He doesn't need it anymore.

cuppycup:

You're taking his rifle?

Jeremiah:

Reckon you ought to arm yourself.

Chuck (Johnny):

I mean, I'm terrible at it, but...

cuppycup:

Let me tell you a little bit about the rifle you've acquired. It's a .22 bolt action rifle. I'm sorry. That's not very good.

Wes (Jeremiah):

Weak sauce.

cuppycup:

Brandon, you can have one, too, from the other dead guy. Same rifle.

Flint:

It's better than my fists. I say, let's hit the road. Let's get to it.

Johnny:

Let's get to Canutillo or Olvido?

Flint:

Ol-video.

Chuck (Johnny):

And we have no idea how far Olvido is, right?

cuppycup:

Let me do this. I feel like Johnny and Jeremiah are the most likely to feel like they would understand what's going on in New Mexico territory. So why don't the two of you make an EDUCATION roll for me?

Chuck (Johnny):

I rolled a 29.

Wes (Jeremiah):

I rolled a 97.

cuppycup:

OK. So Jeremiah's very animated. He starts to tell you, Johnny, that Olvido's in southern Mexico and y'all need to make haste.

Chuck (Johnny):

And I say bullshit 'cause I rolled a 29 and I know some things. And with and with a HARD SUCCESS, I know exactly how close it is, right ?

cuppycup:

You have a pretty good sense. You know that if you follow the Rio Grande north that you're going to run up against Olvido in a couple days.

Chuck (Johnny):

Ok. I'm go nna relay that information to the team here.

cuppycup:

Yeah. Why don't you do that? It's a good idea.

Johnny:

I know Canutillo's about 10 miles back up the road, but this Olvido, I heard of that place, and I think we ride a couple of days upriver, we're gonna stumble across it.

Flint:

I'm fine with that.

Jeremiah:

I think you're an idiot.

Chuck (Johnny):

I feel like we are frequently deferring to Ellie on what to do.

cuppycup:

Yeah, I think that's a pretty good call.

Chuck (Johnny):

I think that in this case, Johnny is clearly saying this to Ellie.

cuppycup:

Ellie, why don't you make a LAW roll?

Alex (Ellie):

82.

cuppycup:

You thought maybe once you got a town name that you might know someone who was kind a working the law. Maybe a local deputy, but you've got nothing for Olvido. You've never heard of this place. So you're really just trying to figure out if you're trusting Johnny... if you feel like the party's got to go regroup in Canutillo or if you just want to hit the highway and start looking for Colin.

Alex (Ellie):

So we've all got to stay together, right?

cuppycup:

It's a good idea...

Alex (Ellie):

Yeah.

cuppycup:

...to stay together, especially across long distances. I might ask each of you kinda what your motivation is to go to Olvido, if that's what you end up deciding to do as a group. Yours is obvious .

Chuck (Johnny):

Wait, whose is obvious?

cuppycup:

Ellie's been searching for Colin Brock for three years to bring him justice.

Brandon (Flint):

Right.

cuppycup:

Now she's got a pretty good indication that he's in Olvido.

Lance:

And I'm sticking with Ellie because I hate every last member of that gang that I used to be a part of.

Jeremiah:

I reckon she paid me for an honest day's work. And if we actually come across the man that killed her pappy, I'd like to help.

Chuck (Johnny):

Johnny, he's actually very intrigued by these people wanting to take that body.

Brandon (Flint):

Father Flint is really not welcome in any town, so he's willing to go to a new town and try to see if he can scrounge up some money and some new parishioners. So let's give it a go.

cuppycup:

I'm gonna say you had three horses tied up at the scene that, you, Johnny...

Chuck (Johnny):

And Johnny walked, right?

cuppycup:

You, Johnny, just kind of materialized. No one knows exactly how you got there.

Chuck (Johnny):

No, that's fine. I'm comfortable with that.

cuppycup:

And Jeremiah just hopped on the back of Lance's horse. So they they rode in together. So you had three horses, but of course, there is that horse just kind of wandering around in circles wondering why its rider was burst to pieces.

Chuck (Johnny):

Johnny is making a move for that horse.

cuppycup:

Ok, so Ellie, you have your horse, your trusty horse is there. Father, you rode in on a horse as well.

Flint:

Awesome.

Breaking a Horse

cuppycup:

And Lance, you also have a horse. Jeremiah, I don't know if you have any interest in the horse Johnny's going after.

Jeremiah:

I oppose because of the map and I oppose because I want a pony.

Chuck (Johnny):

That's fine. Yeah.

cuppycup:

Are you opposing physically or do you want to have like a battle to see who can break this horse?

Chuck (Johnny):

Is this "Black Beauty," what are we doing?

cuppycup:

We're just gonna make five percent ANIMAL HANDLING rolls until someone succeeds.

Jeremiah:

Reckon, I'm gonna challenge you to breakin' this horse down. Whoever ... We gonna call it, and whoever it comes to, it loves.

cuppycup:

That's good. So instead of ANIMAL HANDLING...

Jeremiah:

I think that's fair to the animal. (laughing)

cuppycup:

I'm actually... I'm sorry for this, Johnny, but I'm gonna ask you to PERSUADE this horse instead of...

Chuck (Johnny):

Persuade it?

cuppycup:

Instead of using ANIMAL HANDLING.

Jeremiah:

Why don't you sweet talk it like you did that unconscious man over there who's dead and hog tied?

Chuck (Johnny):

I'm going to say...

Johnny:

Hey, hey, hey, little fellow come on over here.

cuppycup:

Roll for this.

Chuck (Johnny):

That's a 56.

cuppycup:

Jeremiah, gimme a roll.

Wes (Jeremiah):

I got an 11.

cuppycup:

Okay, so Jeremiah sweet... How do you sweet talk this horse?

Jeremiah:

Hey. Hey, horse. You know, if you come over to me, I'll let you choose your name through a series of nods. I will respect you as a as a fellow creature on this earth. And then I will give you various vegetables. What do you think about that? If you agree, why don't you come over here and give me a nudge on the chin?

cuppycup:

So the horse straight away just walks directly toward Jeremiah and plants a big kiss on his face.

cuppycup:

Alright. So Jeremiah has a horse. Johnny, you are drifting, literally, through this world.

Chuck (Johnny):

Well, you said I materialized here. As soon as they start to ride off, I just sort of phase out of existence. And I keep reappearing on the horizon.

cuppycup:

It's like a race car game when you go too far off the track.

Chuck (Johnny):

Yeah, I'm the blue shell.

cuppycup:

Yes. You appear back on the track, miraculously. So you could, Johnny, request to ride like a tandem horse with one of these other riders.

Johnny:

Well, I think the only one I'm going to ask is Ellie, because I hate everyone else.

cuppycup:

So, Ellie, I won't make you roll for it or anything. I'll just give you the decision of whether you want to let Johnny ride along.

Ellie:

Yeah, come on.

cuppycup:

Alright, good .

Johnny:

Thank you, Miss Ellie.

cuppycup:

Which is very generous because Johnny has not bathed in probably a couple of weeks.

Johnny:

But I am slight of frame.

cuppycup:

That's true. That is helpful.

Johnny:

I'm not taking a lot of space.

cuppycup:

And you are, if I'm not mistaken, the most attractive member of the party.

Chuck (Johnny):

That is alarming. Is that true?

cuppycup:

Yes, it's true.

Chuck (Johnny):

Yeah. I mean, he's not well bathed, but there's sort of a rakish charm there.

Wes (Jeremiah):

It's that McConaughey thing.

Chuck (Johnny):

Yeah, exactly. He's a McConaughey.

Brandon (Flint):

Hook 'em horns, baby.

cuppycup:

The team of investigators on four horses rides very ceremoniously across the railroad bridge, trampling over Maxwell Posey's body, breaking his neck one more time. And a little bit of time has passed. It's probably...

Wes (Jeremiah):

Where was the foley on that?

cuppycup:

It takes a little while to pull things up.

Chuck (Johnny):

Six times in rapid succession. (bones crunching)

cuppycup:

This is every horse walking over Maxwell Posey's neck. (horses walking and bones crunching)

Jeremiah:

Hold on, I left something back there. I've got to ride my horse back five feet and go get it. Okay, I got it. (horse hooves crunching bones continues)

cuppycup:

He goes forward.

Jeremiah:

Look, there's dandelions. I want to go look at 'em closer. (horse hooves crunching bones continues)

Jeremiah:

Okay, I'm really coming back for real now.

cuppycup:

So there's actually no more bone to break.

Jay (Lance):

And we're moving on to cartilage. (laughter)

Narrator (cuppycup):

I reckon that went further off the rails than Maxwell Posey hisself. Nonetheless, the party sets forth single file. Their horses already huffing in the heat of day, our five investigators creep toward a landscape washed out by a white hot sun. Echoes in the dry wind blowing in from the north carry bad omens from Olvido.

Jay (Lance):

So am I going with them or...? (laughter)

cuppycup:

Who is that?

Wes (Jeremiah):

Wait. He's gonna ride over here. He's going to walk over the neck again.

Lance:

It's me. It's me. It's your boy, Lance.

cuppycup:

Lance, you stated that you were gonna go exact revenge on Colin Brock's gang. So I believe that you are going

Lance:

OK, I just wanted to make sure.

Wes (Jeremiah):

I'm fucking crying. (laughter)

cuppycup:

And then, uhh, I don't even know. You look back and one of the beams from the bridge has fallen on to poor Maxwell Posey. (metal beam falling and bones crunching)

Wes (Jeremiah):

Oh shit.

cuppycup:

Alright. So we are in some ways ready for the next session.

Brandon (Flint):

Alright, let's start right now. (laughter)

Wes (Jeremiah):

This is fun as shit. I love this.

cuppycup:

Thank you for listening to our first ever episode of Ain't Slayed Nobody. I would personally like to thank Chuck, Jay, Alex, Wes, and Brandon, our fearless investigators, and Will Baizer for his help with story development and all kinds of useful feedback. Thanks to Chaosium Inc. for Call of Cthulhu and Down Darker Trails. And most importantly, thank you to my wife and all of our family members for making time for us to put this show together. Please follow us on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Patreon. We are aintslayed on all platforms. Subscribe and please review the show. Visit us at aintslayednobody.com where you can also sign up for our newsletter. We will return with another episode on Tuesday, February 11th. We're looking at a second Tuesday of the month schedule as of now. I am cuppycup. Thank you and good luck out there. (Western guitar riff)

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