College-football media days in July signal the start of a new season. Only instead of high-scoring games and stunning upsets, fans are treated to platitudes and cautious optimism from their favorite coaches, who have made an art of talking a lot and saying little.

Although the Southeastern Conference holds most of the pre-eminent powers, no one does media day like the Pac-12's coaches. The Count analyzed how much coaches spoke at the media days of the five major conferences. With an average of 4,665 words per coach, the...