As I write this blog, I have so many mixed emotions, but mostly it's sadness and betrayal.

I don't know how or why the season ended the way it did, but all I want to share with you at this time is my perspective and what I went through this year AFTER the death of my mother. The constant subject line of Brooks' cancer, his choice of treatment, and if he was "faking" it or not has gotten out of control. My stance is I do not believe he faked cancer, as there are way too many people involved, way too many doctor visits and way too many doctor reports which would be very difficult to falsify. As I said at the reunion, I didn't have enough information that he does have cancer, and I didn't have enough information that he doesn't. Brooks became very private with his health information the last few months of our relationship, which made it difficult for me to discuss this with him.

When the season started filming he had already finished two rounds of chemo and was going to start another one after we returned from Puerto Vallarta in January. We discussed about my involvement in his treatment and how difficult it was going to be for me to attend everything. Due to my busy schedule of filming, running my insurance business, and going to OKC to see my daughter a lot, I wasn't around for many of his doctor visits. Brooks understood my schedule and had many people around him who were there for him when I couldn't be.

As the season progressed, I could see the women starting to question me more and more about his cancer. One of the things that I agreed with him was to not discuss it without him present, which brought on more controversy.

The hardest part of all of this is that I know the ladies initially were coming from a good place, but unfortunately my emotions were heightened due to many personal reasons and I couldn't see that. Hindsight, I didn't handle things always in the calmest manner which I am sorry for that, but I was extremely frustrated having to always be questioned about him.

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The lunch with Shannon was a very difficult one for me to watch and have. That was the beginning of her and I having a "falling out" which breaks my heart. I know Shannon had Brooks' best interest in mind when she referred her doctor, but in the end it was Brooks' decision to stay where he was with his current team of physicians not mine. I removed myself from his health decisions, as it was starting to cause too much conflict.

This whole cancer story with Brooks really has made me upset. I mean who questions someone's private health and their treatment plan? Is this normal behavior by grown adults?

I remember back in 2012 when Tamra disclosed she was diagnosed with cervical cancer while on the Dr. Oz show (http://www.doctoroz.com/episode/real-housewives-tell-all-their-plastic-surgery -- scroll through to 2.20 minutes to hear Tamra reveal she had cervical cancer). It was the first time any of us had heard she was diagnosed with cervical cancer and we were all in shock that she had never talked about it prior to that. No one at that time ever asked her for her medical records, and since then we haven't heard anything about it after that does that mean she was faking it for attention?? I mean if you are diagnosed with cervical cancer isn't that pretty serious? I also pulled up this article that said Tamra wanted her breast implants removed to "taking back control of her body" to now only a few years later put the implants back in. So...should we ask Tamra for her medical records to see if in fact she really had cervical cancer and lumps in her breasts? No! That would not be normal behavior and we trust that Tamra told us the truth. Just interesting we haven't heard anything about it since then.

The finale episode where Shannon feels I betrayed her by telling my brother and his girlfriend about David's affair was wrong. I never betrayed her, she was just embarrassed that it was exposed again when it was supposed to be about badgering me. I knew what David and Shannon shared this season, and it was Shannon's decision to reveal the affair so I didn't think it was a secret to tell my brother. All the ladies already knew, so for me to tell my brother privately was NOT betraying her. He had met David and Shannon the year before in Puerto Vallarta so he was aware of their marriage struggles as they were discussed there. When I told Billy and Ronda that they were able to reconcile their marriage and that they filmed their journey, I was proud of them and was their biggest supporter. I was not being malicious by any means.

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That evening at the party, Ronda obviously was hearing Shannon demanding for me to convince Brooks to release more medical records prompting her to say what she did about David producing text messages with his mistress. I did not prompt Ronda to say that, but I'm sure she felt compelled to because it is so ridiculous to ask someone for their private health records and Ronda was just defending me.

What you don't know is that last year Tamra actually told the group about David's affair at a dinner we were all at, and even disclosed the woman's name and information about her. Bottom line here is Shannon knew that Heather, Tamra, and Lizzie all knew and by me telling my brother privately in my home was not any secret. Me telling my brother about the affair before the baptism was not a betrayal, the fact is the other ladies were well aware of the affair.

I stood by my word with her and kept this secret she told me last year, as I promised Shannon I would. I never told any of the ladies or discussed the affair the entire time we filmed this season because I didn't want to hurt Shannon and wanted her to trust me with this very serious information.

Regarding the IV issue – I addressed this at the reunion. After Brooks' first treatment in October, he was extremely sick and dehydrated. I talked with one of my friends who said he should get an IV with fluids to hydrate him and she had a doctor friend that she was going to call for me. I told her not to do that, as I was going to call Briana to get her opinion if she thought Terry Dubrow would know of someone that could come to the house. I told Briana when I hung up with her and I was going to call Terry to ask him. When I asked Brooks if it was okay to call Terry, he said "no and that he would call his own doctor in the morning". I failed to tell Briana that I didn't call Terry and she assumed I did. When she met with Tamra for lunch without me, she told her of this IV situation which then was told to Heather/Terry by Tamra. This was not Briana's fault or Tamra's fault and I take full responsibility for this. I learned a big lesson here, it's really to clarify everything I say, especially if it's not followed through, as you never know when it comes back to you. My apologies on all of this and should have never gotten Terry/Heather involved.

I'm looking forward to some quiet down time, to enjoy the fall and be with my family and close friends and to focus on me again.

Blessings to all of you.

Vicki

Follow me on Instagram @vickigunvalson