9th March, 2015

As Australia prepares to send more troops to the Middle East, there's a simple question. Are we doing enough to look after the people who have already served their country?

Forty-one soldiers died in Afghanistan. Hundreds more were physically injured. But thousands carry invisible wounds.

PTSD, is a commonly used term, but what does it really mean? This week Four Corners reporter Quentin McDermott tracks former soldiers locked in a life and death battle with a ruthless but silent foe. For the first time, cameras are allowed inside gruelling therapy sessions as men, who gave so much for their country, fight a new enemy and try to deal with their illness.

Lee is not an old man but he has lived a dozen lifetimes in the war in Afghanistan, culminating in a horrific experience riding inside a vehicle hit by an explosive device:

"My first thought was that, you know, like, someone's been hit. You could hear people screaming at the driver and I turned and it seemed obvious to me that the driver was dead. After the explosion the guys are yelling at me, yelling out to me 'cause they thought I was dead."

Experiences like this sent Lee into a terrible downward spiral, a classic case of PTSD. As one medical expert explains:

"The system that turns into PTSD is the system you need to do your job, because it is the system that allows you to be prepared for danger... now for some reason, and we don't know why, the system gets locked, locked on, and it doesn't shut down when the danger goes away. We want to shut it down. It doesn't need to be turned on."

The result of this system malfunction might vary, but in Lee's case it meant depression, anger, relationship breakdown and ultimately homelessness.

Lee must now run the gauntlet of intense therapy to try and cure his PTSD. The sessions involve him reliving his war experiences in intricate detail.

Lee is not alone in his trauma. Across Australia it's estimated hundreds, perhaps thousands, of veterans are dealing with some form of mental illness, brought on by their service. Lee is getting help. Many are being left to fend for themselves. Reporter Quentin McDermott hears how the Defence Force often doesn't diagnose their illness. He hears how the armed services, in which they served so proudly, do not always follow through with help once soldiers have left the ranks, and how the bureaucratic processes of the Department of Veterans' Affairs can drive some to despair.

"There is no idea how many are suffering. And that's going to continue until the Army realises or accepts the fact that this is real, this is what happens. This is just the tip of the iceberg." - Father of a veteran who took his life

BRINGING THE WAR HOME, reported by Quentin McDermott and presented by Kerry O'Brien, goes to air on Monday 9th March at 8.30pm on ABC. It is replayed on Tuesday 10th March at 10.00am and Wednesday 11th March at midnight. It can also be seen on ABC News 24 at 8.00pm on Saturday, ABC iview and at abc.net.au/4corners.

Transcript

Bringing the War Home, 9 March 2015

KERRY O'BRIEN, PRESENTER: Too easy to forget: welcome to Four Corners.

In six weeks Australians will stage their biggest ever celebration of a military campaign, the Gallipoli centenary, for an estimated all-up taxpayer cost: around $325 million.

It's a day when trumpets will sound, flags will be waved, tears will be shed, heroes will be remembered. And we'll all move on.

But there's a much more recent story of heroes, sung and unsung, on another front line that sits right under our nose, that we have not been so good at remembering.

In the 14 years since the invasion of Afghanistan, the political leaders who have sent them have waved them off and, occasionally, dropped in on them while they're there. Coming home is a different picture: an extremely grim picture for many.

Apart from the 41 dead, many hundreds more are still reliving their nightmares years later. One stand-out condition they suffer is post-traumatic stress disorder, a very real and increasingly well-documented condition that can and does destroy lives.

But the story of how well these veterans are now supported is shaping up as a national shame. The number of suicides related to PTSD is unknown because the Defence Department doesn't keep a formal count of suicides by veterans who have left the Armed Forces - let alone why they suicided.

Tonight we share the lives of four veterans who have battled PTSD and we were privileged to be allowed inside gruelling therapy sessions as some confronted their demons.

We should warn that some people might find these stories distressing.

The reporter is Quentin McDermott.

SERVICE LEADER: Please join me in a prayer of thanksgiving.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT, REPORTER: It's Remembrance Day 2014 at an RSL retirement village on Sydney's northern beaches.

SERVICE LEADER: ...that someone lays down his life for his friends.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: At the packed service, old-timers sit alongside veterans of more recent conflicts to hear a moving tribute to the Unknown Soldier.

MICHAEL ROSSENDELL: I saw the going down of the sun on that first Anzac Day; the chaotic maelstrom of Australia's blooding. I remember the choppers of Vietnam; the stinking heat; being on patrol. The Gulf War came and I can still see the carnage on the road from Kuwait. And then on to Afghanistan, where we lost 41 of our finest. And now, weary with war...

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Among those paying their respects is Geoff Evans, former commando, veteran of two tours of Afghanistan and now a Younger Veterans Advisor with RSL LifeCare.

Geoff Evans volunteers with the RSL here in Narrabeen, rescuing homeless vets who are on the skids, taking them off the streets and putting them in touch with vital support services.

GEOFF EVANS, YOUNGER VETERANS ADVISOR, RSL LIFECARE: How's things?

LEE SARICH, VETERAN: Yeah, I'm getting settled in again after being in hospital.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Lee Sarich is one of his small band of 30 veterans, mentally wounded by war, who are housed in this community of 1,300 older vets and their spouses.

(to Lee Sarich): Where were you living immediately before you moved here?

LEE SARICH: Um, well, it was k-kind of homeless, I guess. I was, ah, pretty much living in my car.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: The opportunity given to young vets here is life-saving. But the limited funding available to the program means it's just a drop in the ocean.

Around the country, at least 3,000 veterans are now believed to be homeless. But neither the Defence Department nor the DVA (the Department of Veterans' Affairs) will provide the housing homeless veterans need.

GEOFF EVANS: No part of the repatriation system covers homelessness, so whilst DVA may pay for a young person to go into a psychiatric hospital to receive treatment, they won't pay for them to be accommodated anywhere when they come out. And that's why they- those psychiatric hospitals are often a revolving door.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: After experiencing repeated traumas in Afghanistan, former lance corporal Lee Sarich now knows that revolving door very well.

In 2007, he narrowly escaped being killed when a bullet fired by an insurgent grazed him but, miraculously, didn't enter his body.

LEE SARICH: Um, the bullet went right, like, across my chest into my soft armour.

(Lee holds a photograph of soldiers in a foxhole amidst trees)

LEE SARICH: This photo was taken probably about maybe 10 minutes or something before I got hit. And we got attacked and for some reason - I don't know why - I, I jumped onto my back and I ended up in that little ditch. And, ah, and I think if I'd been on my guts it would have just gone straight through the lungs, you know? So... just lucky.

(footage from helmet camera of soldiers under fire, taking cover by a creek bank)

SOLDIER 1: Drop there, mate.

SOLDIER 2: Oi there! Oi! Mitch! Mitch!

SOLDIER 1: Up there!

SOLDIER 2: Mitch!

(footage ends)

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Lee Sarich was fortunate to escape with his life but his experiences left him with a severe case of PTSD: post-traumatic stress disorder.

He was having nightmares and flashbacks of being blown up by an IED (an improvised explosive device) in Afghanistan.

LEE SARICH: Yeah, the most, um... traumatic incident would've been, um, when I was in a LAV - a light armoured vehicle - that hit an IED. (Sighs) Um, yeah. Blew- blew us all up. The, the driver was killed and m-most of my infantry section that was in the back: we all got, you know, blown eardrums and that sort of thing from the percussion.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: There was more to come. After a second tour in 2010, Lee Sarich was medically evacuated back to Australia and his place was taken by a mate, Corporal Jared MacKinney.

LEE SARICH: Yeah. And what happened, um, Jared 'Crash' MacKinney, the guy who took my position, he got killed, um, a few months after I'd returned to Australia. And, ah, after that I, um... kind of declined, I guess, pretty bad. And that was, that was, that was it. I just couldn't... it was over for me: the Army, you know.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Back in Australia following his medical discharge, Lee Sarich's symptoms worsened. He couldn't work, he was broke, he was living in his car, separated from his child and, at his lowest ebb, he became increasingly unstable.

(to Lee Sarich) : How bad has it been at its worst?

LEE SARICH: At its worst, um... at its worst I start thinking about killing myself. Um, (sighs) that's, that's pretty much the worst. Yeah.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Last month, Lee Sarich made a determined effort to climb out of his own black hole by moving into St John of God Richmond Hospital, north-west of Sydney.

There, Four Corners joins him as he undergoes a four-week long program of intensive therapy. For the first time ever at this hospital, a group of PTSD sufferers - including veterans, police officers and fire fighters - allows a TV crew to film its sessions. But to begin with, everyone is apprehensive.

DOMINIC HILBRINK, SNR CLINICIAN, ST JOHN OF GOD RICHMOND HOSP.: So we might just go round the room and see, see how you're feeling this morning and how the night was and, and stuff like that. Is anyone willing to start us off?

THERAPY GROUP MEMBER 1: The last 12 months or so I've sort of isolated myself and I haven't- like, I haven't talked to anyone really, except for family members and stuff, so I'm looking forward to getting in the group discussions and stuff.

THERAPY GROUP MEMBER 2: Um... yeah, just sort of a bit anxious about this week: what's ahead.

DOMINIC HILBRINK: Yeah?

THERAPY GROUP MEMBER 2: Yeah.

DOMINIC HILBRINK: Anything in particular that you're...?

THERAPY GROUP MEMBER 2: Just getting through to the end of the week.

DOMINIC HILBRINK: Yeah?

THERAPY GROUP MEMBER 2: Just getting over it, yeah: actually completing it.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: That afternoon, after hearing others describe their experiences, Lee Sarich opens up to the rest of the group.

LEE SARICH: Um, like, I've been, um, pretty... I g- I guess reticent to talk about a lot of, um, or some of my stuff, um... and-and, like, with coppers in the room and stuff.

But you know, my- you know, the whole sort of services thing for me: it start- when I was, like, um, like 16 I wanted to be a gangster, you know? That, that- yeah, that was like my- you know, like seriously. And um...

You know, 'cause the-the home that I grew up in was just f***in' shithouse, you know what I mean? Like, a lot of violence. I was adopted and the family I was adopted into was just f***in' woeful, you know? And like violence and sexual ab-abuse and all that sort of stuff.

And so from about 16 I thought the legitimate option is joining the Army. I- it's almost, ash- I'm ashamed to admit it, you know, but I thought the legitimate option is joining the Army. I can f***in' kill people and, um, it'll, it'll be OK. You know, I'll get f***in' medals, I won't go to f***in' jail.

Fast forward: it was, like, 10 years later that I... I still had that idea about wanting to join the Army and, um, and it was different. It was about being of service. You know, it was, it was kind of like, um... I don't know, like a noble, legitimate, um, you know, job and, ah, and I felt very good about it. About... It wasn't just about killing people and, you know, being f***in' angry: it was actually about being able to be, um, of service, you know, to-to the community in-in a way that I was able to do. Yep.

THERAPY GROUP MEMBER 1: I just want to mention: he said something about coppers. Mate, if you wanna say something, it's like, look: we don't give, we don't give a shit, what, about anything. Especially me: I'm done and dusted. So, mate, if you... say whatever you want.

ZACHARY STEEL, PROF., ST JOHN OF GOD CHAIR FO TRAUMA & MENTAL HEALTH: These are invisible wounds…

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: A couple of days later, psychologist Professor Zachary Steel talks to the group about the nature of PTSD and how it's now regarded as an occupational hazard of combat training.

ZACHARY STEEL: The system that turns into PTSD is the system you need to do your job. Because it's this system that allows you to be prepared for danger. When it's working for you it's sweet. It's good because it keeps you, makes you effective, makes you efficient.

Now, for some reason - and we don't know why - at some point things go wrong and that system gets locked on and it doesn't shut down when the danger goes away.

I mean, the thing about PTSD is: it takes highly functioning, highly capable, highly talented - some of the best people we have and it makes them completely unable to function. And it's a life-and-death system that got turned on. So this is...

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: The message being spread by experts like Professor Steel is that the debilitating symptoms of PTSD can be managed and the memories which trigger them can be safely filed away.

ZACHARY STEEL: Trauma memories are totally different to normal memories. They get frozen. And when those memories trigger, they turn the system on. There's certain things that have happened in each of your journeys that have locked this on. And our job is to work together to find what that is and to turn it off.

LEE SARICH: It was a handover patrol...

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: In one-on-one sessions, the method used to rob the memories of their power is to visit and revisit them, over and over again, in greater and greater detail.

DOMINIC HILBRINK: No, just talk, talk through it in as much detail as you can. Um, as much detail about what happened but also what you experienced, what you-you felt in your body, what you were feeling, what you were thinking, stuff like that. It's, ah, you know, the staying with it that, that gets the result.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: It's known as "exposure therapy" and, for the person recalling their own trauma, the process can be both challenging and confronting.

In his case, over and over again, Lee Sarich recalls the horror of the day his driver, Trooper David Pearce, died.

(montage of Lee recalling his experience)

LEE SARICH: My first thought was that... you know, like, "F***, someone's been hit. And then it was... it was like after that that I realised that it was us...

Just hearing, hearing the guys in the LAV, ah, screaming out to me...

You hear people screaming at the driver and I turned and it was, seemed obvious to me that the driver was dead....

DOMINIC HILBRINK: What did you hear in their voices?

LEE SARICH: F***in' like a desperation. Um, you know, fear.

Um, 'cause they thought I was dead. I, I didn't know at the time. They thought I was dead 'cause of the way I just dropped...

And, you know, thinking that's why they were screaming at me like that: 'cause I was dead. So maybe this is what it was like to be dead. (Sighs)

(montage ends)

(Jamie Tanner whistles to bring his children into the kitchen. They line up in front of him)

JAMIE TANNER, VETERAN: Righty. So for the park you need swimmers, rashy, hats, sunscreen, shorts, thongs. Go!

(The Tanner family are playing in a crowded water park)

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Jamie Tanner and his partner Leesa have five kids between them.

(Leesa Kwok points a camera at her children)

LEESA KWOK: OK, stupid faces.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Today they are celebrating Molly's birthday in a water park. It's a sunny, happy day but underneath the smiles there's a lurking enemy which puts an enormous strain on the family: Jamie's PTSD.

(to Jamie): It is very, very crowded today.

JAMIE TANNER: Yeah.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Is that making you anxious?

JAMIE TANNER: Yeah, it is. It is. So I, I don't know if you've noticed but I've always tried to keep my front towards where everybody is located and my back towards the fence, um...

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Yes.

JAMIE TANNER: ...or, or in some form of corner. So yeah, it is quite uncomfortable.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Even back at home, Jamie's darker moods can be stressful for the rest of the family. And if he has what he describes as a 'meltdown', they can lose him altogether for a time.

JAMIE TANNER: If I have an episode, I- I won't speak to anyone for days. Um, I won't leave the house. I'll be stuck in- in the bedroom and, you know, I just want to be around, you know, a darkened, closed, quiet environment.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Do you also isolate yourself to protect your loved ones?

JAMIE TANNER: Yeah, there's a there's a huge element of that as well. Um... You know, I- I'll isolate myself so I don't say anything that I'll regret, um, because I don't know how I'm going to act each time or, you know, what's going to happen each time I- I sort of meltdown or explode.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: One episode occurred in a most unlikely setting: on a family outing to a favourite theme park last November. Little did they know how terrifying their day would become.

Usually, Jamie Tanner finds a bench to sit on, well away from the crowds, while the children enjoy the rides. But the psychologist who was treating Jamie's PTSD had talked to him about exposure therapy and, on this occasion, at Leesa's suggestion he agreed to stand in a queue for one of the rides.

JAMIE TANNER: The entrance to the ride is like a channelling funnel, um, and, you know, for some reason I just can't go down there. I feel like I'm being channelled or- or funnelled into a position that's unsafe. Um, even though, like I said, the cognitive part of my brain tells me it's quite safe. It's a theme park.

LEESA KWOK: And he explained to me later it was like a tree line. So if you've got two tree lines and you go out a little bit, you can't turn around and go back, because then the enemy knows where you were. And when he explained this to me, I'm thinking, "This is in Australia, it's not Afghanistan." But as soon as he stepped into that queue, that's how he was thinking.

JAMIE TANNER: Um, so I, you know, went into this ride and was standing in line and- and, um, you know, my anxiety levels were, were through the roof.

LEESA KWOK: Yeah, the veins in the neck were popping. And I could see the eyes and his jaw was really clenched and his arms were... were crossed and, he was h- holding himself as still as possible.

JAMIE TANNER: And, ah, Danyan at the time was trying to get my attention and I, I wasn't aware of this and the next thing I knew I felt a- a chop in my throat, um, where it, it was Danyan. He'd obviously just jumped to sort of touch me on the cheek or wave his hand in front of me but h- he sort of missed and- and got me fair in the throat.

And before I knew, I'd turned around and (clears throat) and grabbed him by the head, um, lifted him up by the head and was ready to throw a punch.

DANYAN JONES: I accidentally turned around and touched his throat like that. So he grabbed me by the head and, um... (sighs) I was very frightened. He nearly punched me. And, um, I know I'm not to scare him now.

LEESA KWOK: I just froze. I just saw Dan's face. And the only thing I could see was Danyan's face and this... person about to hit my child.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Many mothers in your position would've said, "That's it. That's enough..."

LEESA KWOK: Mm.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: "... I'm out of here." What stopped you doing that?

LEESA KWOK: Many things. One is that I know that Jamie has enough control to, to stop his reactions.

The kids absolutely love and adore Jamie as well and he brings so much positive to their lives that I can't let one negative thing, um, shape our lives. There's more to our lives as a family than that four seconds.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Do you know why he did that? Do you know what caused it for him?

DANYAN JONES: Oh, because, um, he doesn't like big crowds. He gets scared when he's in big crowds and, like, loud noise. Because he- in the Army he near- he nearly got blew up and nearly shot lots of times.

(footage from Jamie's helmet camera in Afghanistan. Jamie is under fire. Machine gun fire, artillery explosions and screaming can be heard. He runs to a trench and jumps in)

JAMIE TANNER: What have we got? What have we got? What have we got?

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Danyan is right: his step-dad Jamie Tanner was nearly blown up and shot many times.

JAMIE TANNER: Come on, chuck!

(Mortar shell is fired)

JAMIE TANNER (whistles): Find the target! Find the target! Does anyone know where the frendlies are?

SOLDIER: Friendlies are...

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: This dramatic vision, filmed on Jamie Tanner's helmet cam in Afghanistan, shows him leading his men in repelling a surprise attack by insurgents.

JAMIE TANNER: Grenade! Get on the f***in' gun, Vic!

(Mortar and machine gun fire continues)

JAMIE TANNER: Keep goin', keep goin', keep goin'!

JAMIE TANNER (voiceover): We'd just come back in from a patrol. The guys had just finished taking their gear off and, and, you know, sort of started to wind down for a little bit. And then all of a sudden, you know, shots start ringing out and RPGs start barrelling in on the position. And, you know, before you know you- you're going, "Oh, crap. Here we go."

JAMIE TANNER: Righto. I'm goin' down here! Cover me!

SOLDIER: Yes, Sarge!

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: This fire fight took place in 2010 when Jamie Tanner, on his second tour of Afghanistan, spent eight-and-a-half hard months as a section commander, living on remote patrol bases in the Mirabad Valley - a known Taliban stronghold.

(footage ends)

(footage from Jamie's helmet camera of operation in plantation)

JAMIE TANNER: F***in', ah, keep movin' up. Yeah, we'll go up that way.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Early on in that deployment, he narrowly escaped with his life in an IED explosion.

JAMIE TANNER: Just follow the aqueduct around, mate.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: It left his hearing impaired and one of his men lost part of a hand in the blast.

(camera cuts to black as explosion hits. Footage ends)

JAMIE TANNER: I remember the explosion going off. I was on my back. I looked up. I remember seeing dust and debris and it was dark. And then nothing. And then that's when I came to and I was about 40 metres away from where I was on my back.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Some months later, Four Corners was filming with Mentoring Team Alpha when two sappers, Jacob Moerland and Darren Smith, died in another IED explosion.

Reporter Chris Masters spoke to Jamie Tanner soon afterwards.

JAMIE TANNER, CORPORAL (Four Corners, 'A Careful War', July 2010): Um, the boys have been pretty good about it. They understand what we're here for. They understand that, you know, unfortunately these things may occur - and they did. Um, but all the boys here signed the, signed the line to come over and volunteer and, and do this job.

So they all understand, you know, these are things that we may face. And again it just reinforces the threat that's over here. Um, and goes to show that at no times you can get, you know, should you go complacent.

(footage of officer addressing soldiers)

OFFICER (Four Corners, 'A Careful War', July 2010): We've gotta remain f***in' staunch, men. No dramas. What's happened happened. F***in' grieve if you need to grieve, but once you go back out that gate, gotta stay hard for these blokes, all right? Until the blokes come back in.

(footage of Jamie putting on communications gear, patrol base)

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Jamie Tanner remained staunch in the face of extreme pressures. But, four weeks before he returned home, his marriage ended, creating further stress.

(footage ends)

JAMIE TANNER: Um, you know, that was, that was quite tough. It really was. Um, but, you know, I still had a job to do. I couldn't focus on that at the time. Um, you know, we were still out on the patrol bases and we still had operations to, to, um, undertake.

So, you know, I- I didn't have the opportunity to be able to focus on my marriage. I still had to focus on surviving in, in, you know, the battlefield.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: When he got back to Australia, Jamie Tanner didn't have a home to return to. He was desperate to do two things: stay in the Army and stay in Brisbane to be able to see his kids. He asked the Army's medical staff to help.

JAMIE TANNER: You know, at that stage I was, I was at breaking point. (Clears throat) I went down to the, um, mental health unit and said, "Look, this is what's happened. Um, you know, I- I'm just not coping. You know, I, I need 12 months. I just need 12 months in Brisbane to sort out my life."

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: But rather than allow him to remain in Brisbane, his commanding officer told him he would be posted interstate to Wagga Wagga - more than 1,000 kilometres away from his wife and children.

JAMIE TANNER: You know, regardless of what was given to them by the mental health experts, it didn't make a- a- a lick of difference. It didn't mean anything to them.

So the only option I had was to discharge and get out. You know, I left a career that I loved so I could stay in Brisbane, keep some sort of normality and have a relationship with my children.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Do you feel angry about that now?

JAMIE TANNER: Oh definitely. Definitely. You know, my dreams of what I wanted to do, um, were shattered. So yeah. Of course I'm bitter and twisted about it and, you know, I will be for the rest of my life, I think.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Jamie Tanner received no help from Defence in transitioning back to civilian life. He went from being a highly paid section commander in the Australian Army to a low-paid job as an electrical apprentice.

And one day he nearly snapped.

JAMIE TANNER: I was up in a cherry picker, um, you know, sort of 10 metres up in the air. And I'd got to a point where, you know, I was holding tools in front of me and- and really having to pull myself back from throwing these tools at, at guys on the ground, just because I was in that state of- of, you know, emotion.

I was anxious, I was angry, I was- I had all these mixed emotions going on and I wanted to hurt someone. So that was the point where I knew that I needed more help than- than what I was receiving.

ANDREW KHOO, DR., DIRECTOR, DAY PROGRAMS, TOOWONG PRIVATE HOSP.: As well as being angry, these are also men that have been highly disciplined. So you've got to balance that off against the excessive anger and I think that's probably one of the reasons why we don't see, you know, more potentially assaultive violence.

(to group therapy class) What we're going to talk about: today's session is called "What is PTSD?"

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Psychiatrist Dr Andrew Khoo runs group therapy sessions for serving soldiers and veterans with PTSD at Toowong Private Hospital in Brisbane.

ANDREW KHOO: And there's a reason for that...

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: During one of his sessions, Dr Khoo discusses the training recruits receive - and how hard it is to undo that.

ANDREW KHOO: Because we've kind of perfected how to take a human and turn them into a warrior. The problem is: we are really shit at taking a warrior and turning them back into a human.

They're trying to teach you to separate thought from emotion so that they can create a person that, when something absolutely horrific happens around them, or that they are seeing on a regular basis, they can separate off the emotion and just continue to think about what their job is and keep going.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Jamie Tanner was a highly trained warrior, but it was only following the incident in the cherry picker, where he wanted to hurt someone, that he knew he needed help.

JAMIE TANNER: I just thought that I was down and out. Um, you know, I didn't realise that this was, you know, PTSD.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: After losing his career, he has now embarked on a different path.

(footage of Jamie catching a biscuit in his mouth, thrown by step-daughter. Family cheers)

QUENTIN McDERMOTT (to Jamie Tanner): If you were offered the chance, would you go back into the Army?

JAMIE TANNER: Would I go back into the Army now? No. No, I wouldn't. Um, knowing the way that they treated me when I discharged, knowing the stigma that's attached to mental illness, knowing that I'm now in a position where I'm coming out and talking publicly about having a mental illness: nup. There's no way that I could go back to the Army.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Geoff Evans, in his current role, is a volunteer advocate for younger veterans. But in Afghanistan, as a member of the elite Special Forces, he too fell victim to the silent enemy that is PTSD.

When he returned from active service, he couldn't cope with the transition to civilian life.

GEOFF EVANS: I felt like a stranger in a strange land. I'd just come from a combat zone, so I was aggressive and, and wound up, um, angered very easily, ah, sh-, very short fuse and drinking heavily every night.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: He also felt completely disconnected from his children.

GEOFF EVANS: I was so emotionally detached that whilst I, of course, I was glad to see my children, I really couldn't connect the way I would have beforehand.

So sure, I was desperate to get home and see them but I just could not f- I just didn't have the same sort of emotional connection - that, that easy, ready flow of love between you and your kids - that, that normal people have.

LISA EVANS: He's extremely short-tempered. Like, he's fuse is like that, which is kind of OK with me but it's not OK with the kids. Like, he still, um, in disciplining the children it's just extreme and it's all or nothing. And the kids just burst into tears immediately, still. That over-the-top aggressiveness is definitely something that is an issue and part of PTSD or coming down from being a soldier, I think. Yeah.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Geoff Evans' PTSD isn't cured: it needs constant management and medication. And if it weren't for his wife Lisa, things would be a lot worse.

GEOFF EVANS: I would absolutely not be here today without my wife and, ah, good family support. And lots of our young guys just don't have that, or they had it and lost it.

Um, I would be an alcoholic or living on the street, I have no doubt, um, ah - you know, if I survived at all.

ROBYN COLLINS, GEN. MGR., DEFENCECARE: We've been told by partners of the extreme feelings of isolation. They're exhausted. And the constant caring. Ah, they've experienced chronic sorrow. They're concerned for the impact on the children and I- I don't think there's enough support for the carers and the partners.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Like many other veterans, Geoff Evans' PTSD resulted from the repeated traumas he suffered while on deployment.

(photograph of armoured vehicle in Afghanistan)

On his second tour of Afghanistan, where he served as a corporal in the First Commando Regiment, he was blown up in this vehicle by an IED and suffered a traumatic brain injury.

(night vision footage from Geoff Evans' helmet camera, Afghanistan. Lt Michael Fussell is in front of him)

He was also present when two mates were killed in front of him. The first was Lieutenant Michael Fussell, who stepped on an IED and died instantly.

GEOFF EVANS: There's a concept in war known as "blooding". And people often think it's just the first time you get in combat but it's, it's really the point at which you lock away all your emotions so that you can just operate on auto-pilot.

And after Mick's death that's what we were able to do: just lock away our emotions and carry on with the mission, regardless of what happens.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Five weeks after Lieutenant Fussell's death, another Commando, Private Gregory Sher, was killed in a rocket attack on a patrol base in the Baluchi Valley.

GEOFF EVANS: As awful as it sounds, I didn't feel anything. I didn't have any emotion.

(night vision footage from Geoff Evans' helmet, Afghanistan)

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: The third incident occurred in another Taliban stronghold, known as Death Valley.

A night-time operation ended with commandos grenading a compound containing a suspected insurgent who was firing on them. The insurgent was killed, but so too were a teenage girl and four young children who, the commandos say, they had no knowledge of.

Afterwards, as a dust storm blew up around them, Geoff Evans couldn't sleep.

GEOFF EVANS: And I remember just laying there, looking at the roof saying, "The gods are angry with us. The gods are angry with us" and trying desperately not to feel and process what had just happened.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Two weeks later he was home: a stranger in a strange land, haunted by visions of what had happened in Afghanistan.

GEOFF EVANS: When we went away to Afghanistan, we went to fight terrorists. But the overwhelming memory I have of the war is watching young men in their 20s trying to stop children from bleeding to death and of the mud of Afghanistan. And you can't just turn it off and come home from that like it didn't happen.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: But despite the appalling events he experienced, Geoff Evans and his mates would never have admitted to feeling traumatised.

GEOFF EVANS: The problem is that if you were to flag that you were having an issue, that would be the end of your career. Um, not just kicked off the mission but you would likely not deploy again. So no-one that I know would ever stick their hand up and say, "Yes, I've been having a problem with this" because that would have been the end of your, ah, ability to be there.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT (to Robyn Walker): There's a real stigma attached to PTSD within the armed forces, isn't there?

ROBYN WALKER, REAR ADMIRAL, CMDR JOINT HEALTH, ADF: Um, we've been trying since about 2002 to try and reduce that stigma.

Um, what we've been trying very hard to do is that if you seek help early when you have symptoms, you are far more likely to have a good outcome or have a good result. The longer you have symptoms that then become chronic, it is harder to, um, to achieve, um, a good treatment outcome.

ANDREW KHOO: Personally, I think the best way they could manage this is to get their members and tell them all that if you have mental health symptoms, this isn't a ticket for you straight out of the military. Then if they start seeing people putting up their hand and saying, "I've got mental health symptoms," they go away, they get treated, they get rehabilitated and they return to full operational capacity: that's going to be the time in which I think that we're really going to start breaking down these barriers.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: The stakes couldn't be higher in finding ways to deal with PTSD. In some cases it's already become a matter of life and death.

Matthew Tonkin's dream was always to join the Army, but the reality of his war in Afghanistan was horribly confronting. In the space of a single week, he experienced three traumatic incidents. He survived an IED explosion in which a fellow soldier, Curtis 'Kiwi' McGrath, lost both his legs.

DAVID TONKIN: Oh, he was blown over in the explosion but, um, he recovered and, ah, they, ah, had to hold Kiwi down while they applied tourniquets.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: A few days later there was another IED explosion which left one Afghan National Army soldier dead and two catastrophically injured.

DAVID TONKIN: Matt and his, um, several others gave first aid to the survivors. Then they had to collect the parts of, um, the ANA soldiers and, ah, they didn't have body bags available so they had to wrap them in blankets. And, ah, it was during the cleaning up process of this that, ah, Matthew stumbled on, ah, one of Kiwi's boots.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: But that wasn't the end of the horror. On the 29th of August 2012, one of Matthew's best mates, Robbie Poate, was murdered by an Afghan Army soldier in a "green-on-blue" attack.

DAVID TONKIN: It wasn't too far away from where Matthew was posted and, ah, he found that very difficult. And, um, he, um, always blamed himself for the fact that... h-he wasn't with him.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: After Robbie Poate died, Matthew Tonkin was inconsolable. Together with his mates, they fired mortars in memory of Robbie and the two other soldiers who had died in the murderous attack.

DAVID TONKIN: That night they, um, received permission to fire star shells for Poate.

DAVID TONKIN: After suffering a string of physical injuries, Matthew Tonkin was medically evacuated back to Brisbane. He was diagnosed with major depression and PTSD and medically discharged, returning home to stay with his father in Perth. There, he pursued the long and arduous process of claiming his entitlements from the DVA.

(footage of David Tonkin and Grant Meldrum in David's house)

DAVID TONKIN: Here's his flag.

GRANT MELDRUM, VOLUNTEER, SOLDIER ON: Yep. Is that the one that was on his coffin?

DAVID TONKIN: Yes, it is. Yep.

GRANT MELDRUM (voiceover): From my time when I first met Matt, it was pretty clear that he was struggling to sort of manage, ah, with those affairs.

GRANT MELDRUM: 'Cause they're his replicas, aren't they?

DAVID TONKIN: Yeah.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Grant Meldrum, a volunteer with the veterans' organisation Soldier On, stepped in to help Matthew Tonkin negotiate with the DVA.

(to Grant Meldrum) Do you think the frustration he felt compounded his PTSD?

GRANT MELDRUM: Look, it's a, (sighs) it's a good question. I would have to say that, ah, nine times out of 10, ah, the experiences that I've had with, ah, myself and with other veterans is that the experience with DVA is a compounding factor, um, because of the time it can take for things to be resolved.

GEOFF EVANS: Can you send someone out to the actual hospital to help them with their paperwork?

ROBYN COLLINS: Yep, we can. We can. So just give us the details. You can send it through on an email or give us a call and we can send someone out.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Robyn Collins works closely with Geoff Evans. She heads the charity DefenceCare, part of RSL New South Wales, which gives veterans financial assistance and counselling and helps with their DVA claims.

ROBYN COLLINS: We can't meet the demand with the funding we have because we're in the red. We haven't got sufficient funding. Ah, we've been in the red now for the last three years, ah, and we're just desperate for donations to support the work we do with veterans.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Matthew Tonkin did receive support, but as well as suffering depression and PTSD, he was in pain from his injuries and dependent on prescription medication.

On at least one occasion he accidentally overdosed and, in July last year, he overdosed again and died.

(to David Tonkin) There's no doubt, is there, that Matt's passing was a combat-related death?

DAVID TONKIN: Well, one would have to say "yes" to that. I mean, it's as a result of different things that happened while he was in Afghanistan and he wasn't- he fought very hard to overcome them. And perhaps he fought too hard.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: Matthew's outstanding DVA claims were finally processed two weeks after his death.

At present, there are no official figures detailing how many veterans have taken their lives as a result of PTSD.

(to Robyn Walker) We've heard reports, ah, of a suicide toll three times that of Australia's combat losses in Afghanistan. Um, do you think those reports are accurate?

ROBYN WALKER: Um, w-we've, we've heard those anecdotal reports as well. We haven't been able to confirm that data. Um, but my understanding is, ah, Department of Veterans' Affairs is, um, presently trying to, um, actually get a, um, a- a- evidence for what that might be. So anecdotally, we haven't been able to confirm those figures.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: But you'd agree that suicides from combat-related PTSD are an extremely serious problem, aren't they?

ROBYN WALKER: Um, what I would say is that there are a myriad of causes of why people take their own lives. And the loss of any life is, ah, is tragic. Um, now, ah, we know that PTSD is associated with other mental health conditions. It's associated with, ah, depression, it's ov- associated with, ah, the abuse of alcohol. And, um, there are times when people with PTSD have, um, taken their own lives. So it is tragic when anyone does that.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT (to Lee Sarich): So, Lee, this - it's the last day today...

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: For one veteran at least - Lee Sarich - there has been an almost miraculous improvement. He puts it all down to the exposure therapy he underwent with senior clinician Dominic Hilbrink.

LEE SARICH: It's, um, it's been like a magic trick. You know like (laughs), like really it's been like, like a magic trick, um, just to, to not have, not have that, that stuff going on. Yeah. And I really didn't want to admit it to, (laughs) to Dom, but, but it, it was all that clear. Yeah, that clear.

QUENTIN McDERMOTT: But there are many veterans out there who aren't being supported and Geoff Evans won't give up his battle to help them any time soon.

GEOFF EVANS: When I look at what I do - and people tell me I'm pushy - it's because lives are on the line. Good young people who were fine before they went to war are dying, um, because they're not being supported when they return.

DAVID TONKIN: There is no idea of how many are suffering. And that's going to continue until the Army realises or accepts the fact that it - this is real. This is what happens. And from the young fellows - Matt's peers - that I've spoken to, there is a lot more to come. And the problem will, um, increase rather than decrease.

This is just the tip of the iceberg and what I suspect is going to be a, a big thing.

KERRY O'BRIEN: I think there's a question in this for all those politicians who collectively sent these soldiers to war, particularly those who shared the spotlight with them as they went: What have you done since? What are you doing now to help them deal with the price they have paid?

Next week: why the Liberal Party came so close to toppling its leader just 18 months after a resounding election victory.

Until then, good night.

Background Information

DONATE

To donate to the younger veterans program at RSL LifeCare go to their website Homes for Heroes

To dontate to DefenceCare go to their website.

INFORMATION AND ASSISTANCE

The Veterans and Veterans Families Counselling Service (VVCS) is a free and confidential Australia-wide service and may be contacted 24 hours a day on 1800 011 046 (international: +61 8 8241 4546)

Lifeline on 13 11 14

Defence Family Helpline 1800 624 608

At Ease Portal | Department of Veterans Affairs

RSL LifeCare Homes for Heroes

Defence Care is a charity providing welfare and pension services for current and ex-serving defence force personnel and their families. DefenceCare helps with claims, financial assistance and counselling.

Mates4Mates

Soldier On Australia

Legacy

MensLine Australia 1300 789 978

Suicide Call Back Service on 1300 659 467

St John of God Health Care - PTSD Program at Richmond Hospital

Information about the St John of God's PTSD Program

Toowong Private Hospital Military Service Trauma Recovery Program

Australian Centre for Posttraumatic Mental Health

RESPONSES TO FOUR CORNERS

A message from the Australian Defence Force Senior Leadership | Department of Defence | 13 March, 2015

Department of Veterans' Affairs Statement

Defence Care Funding Statement | January, 2015

RESEARCH

Capability Review: Department of Veterans' Affairs | Australian Public Service Commission | November, 2013

Welfare and Benevolent Institution Annual Report | RSL NSW | 2013

Australia at war with Afghanistan: updated facts and figures | Parliament of Australia | 13 December, 2013

ADF Mental Health and Wellbeing Plan 2012 - 2015 | Vice Chief of the Defence Force | October, 2012

Australia at war with Afghanistan: revised facts and figures | Department of Parliamentary Services | 12 September, 2012

Capability through mental fitness: 2011 Australian Defence Force Mental Health and Wellbeing Strategy | Department of Defence | 2011

Review of PTSD Group Treatment Programs: Final Report | Centre for Military and Veterans' Health | 31 August, 2011

Australia's military involvement in Afghanistan since 2001: a chronology | Department of Parliamentary Services | 16 July, 2010

Review of Mental Health Care in the ADF and Transition through Discharge | Prof David Hunt | January 2009

Speech - Madeline Fussell at the opening of the Michael Fussell Centre | Soldier On

Statistics about the veteran population | Department of Veterans' Affairs

Battle casualties in Afghanistan | Department of Defence

Global Operations: Afghanistan | Department of Defence

MEDIA

Thousands of Iraq and Afghanistan veterans homeless | Radio National | 6 March, 2015

Defence officials urged to act after another suicide involving Williamtown RAAF | 4 March, 2015

Australian diggers at risk of homelessness, expert warns; some veterans and families 'sleeping in cars' | ABC News | 5 November, 2014

Lunch with James Brown | They Sydney Morning Herald | 3 October, 2014

The battle after the war | ABC News Interactives | 2014

Soldier suicides: Palmer United Party senator-elect Jacqui Lambie calls for more action | ABC News | 26 April, 2014

Fears about rate of unreported suicides of serving and ex-soldiers | ABC News AM | 24 April, 2014

Australian Defence Force veterans detail growing scourge of post-traumatic stress disorder | ABC News | 23 April, 2014

One Man's Struggle with PTSD: The Geoffrey Evans Story | Reveille | March, 2014

What did we learn from the war in Afghanistan? | The Age | 30 October, 2013

Dark reality for troops caught up in conflict | The Sydney Morning Herald | 23 April, 2013

Military mental health plan revealed — but problem underestimated | Crickey | 27 February, 2013

RELATED WESBITES

Australian Department of Defence

Department of Veterans Affairs

Australia Defence Association

RSL National

Homelessness Australia

Lowy Institute - Afghanistan War

DFAT - Aid to Afghanistan

PAST FOUR CORNERS

The War Within | 30 March, 2009

A Careful War - Part 1 | 5 July, 2010

A Careful War - Part 2 | 12 July, 2010