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Lately, I’ve seen some changes at the two Starbucks that live less than a block away from the Mother Jones office. Last month, they both started pushing a new blend called “Pike Place Roast” as their regular drip coffee, as part of a campaign to compete with brisk coffee sales at Dunkin’ Donuts and McDonald’s. As part of the campaign, Starbucks re-introduced its 1971 brown-and-white logo featuring a two-tailed mermaid. Okay, technically it’s a siren, but regardless, the image of a female figure brazenly spreading its tails has made a few Christians vow to boycott the company.

“The Starbucks logo has a naked woman on it with her legs spread like a prostitute,” explains alarmist Mark Dice, of a Christian group called The Resistance. “Need I say more? It’s extremely poor taste, and the company might as well call themselves Slutbucks.”

While I’m curious what the value of a Slutbuck is relative to a Schrutebuck, I’m worried that Dice doesn’t seem to understand the Starbucks siren is half-fish. She doesn’t have legs to spread, much less a vagina to go between them. The fact that Dice doesn’t get the difference between a fin and a foot may be an example of what abstinence-only funding does to education, but it’s certainly not the first time spunky Christians have boycotted the multinational company.

Just last summer, a group of Christian ladies boycotted Frappuccinos because there was a homosexual-agenda-pushing Armistead Maupin quote on some of the cups. Others have boycotted the company because of anti-God quotes.

All I can say is that if Starbucks goes down, it won’t be because of a handful of Christian boycotters. And it won’t be because a friend of a CATO Institute vice-president couldn’t buy a customized “Laissez Faire” gift card, either. As the WSJ tells it, a Starbucks slump will be due to oversaturation and a faltering economy that makes $4 lattes seem like less of a necessity. Whether that’s an act of God or not is for you to decide.