We've run plenty of articles on this site about celebrities who have amazing life stories. We've also run plenty of articles about celebrities who have been amazing liars. But there are some celebrities who have told tales so tall that you could see your house from them, but no one can actually prove that they're bullshit. So in the spirit of averting a lawsuit, here are some wildly improbable celebrity stories that we're not allowed to say didn't really happen ...

6 Jackie Chan Claims To Have Fought Off The Hong Kong Mafia With Guns And Grenades

It's hard to imagine Jackie Chan having any enemies. He's the goofy uncle of action stars, the kind of guy who can kick your ass while in the midst of comically falling down an escalator. But if you believe a 2012 interview Chan gave for the Chinese magazine Southern People Weekly, he had a serious beef with the Hong Kong Triads for decades, a war that he ultimately won by obliterating them with the kind of an arsenal even Rambo would find excessive.

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According to Chan, he first became a victim of the Triads when they started extorting him and his actor friends for money. The constant terrorizing reached the point where he was forced to move to America, fearing for his life. Afterwards, he alleges that they opened fire on him at an airport the moment he stepped off the plane. Remember when you could smoke a guy in an airport? 9/11 ruined that for everyone.

Eventually, Chan returned to Hong Kong, ready to settle the score. As expected (inside Chan's imagination), when he was dining at a restaurant, "more than 20 people surrounded [him] armed with melon knives." However, this time he was ready -- he stood up and confronted his attackers, pulling a gun on them. According to Chan, he had two other guns concealed on him at the time, as well as six grenades. Apparently, if you attack Jackie Chan in real life, he eschews his incredible martial arts ability and just blows you the fuck away.

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Like this, only with everything cool cut.

Chan didn't disclose how the confrontation ended, but after the article was published, the Hong Kong police took notice, because it turns out that carrying hidden weapons and grenades is all sorts of illegal over there. After the interview, an investigation was opened into the incident. However, it was quietly closed again with no arrests or consequences. Which is exactly the result you would expect if it turned out that the entire thing, you know, didn't happen. Not that we're suggesting that.