This is a crack fic about the awesome fiction, mother of learning by nobody103. Any resemblance to the actual plot or reality is accidental. The endings are listed in rough order of plausibility.

The burnt husk of the dead primordial smoked, tentacles scorched and burnt by the angelic fire which still danced golden over the terrible flesh. Zorian clenched Quatach-Ichl's phylactery in his hand. It briefly resisted him then crushed under the weight of his power. He tossed the remains into the nearby bush.

Zach lay collapsed on the ground next to the dragon troll corpse of Sudomir Kandrei, breathing heavily and covered in wounds from the fight, laughing.

"We did it. We finally did it!"

Enthusiastic Seeker of Novelty nodded, the hive mind of the Aranea channeled through her expendable and eager body controlling her mounted grey hunter which repeatedly stabbed Silverlake, her newly immortal body no match for the magic disrupting powers of the hunter, and sent a mental enthusiastic laugh to Zorian.

"This is so much fun!"

Xvim Chao stood over the corpse of Vatimah Tinc, head of the Mage Guild and the Esoteric Order of the Celestial Dragon which had led the invasion of Cyoria, who had finally managed to increase the size of his manhood with the aid of the freed primordial in the form of a twenty foot spiked tentacle, but that hadn't been enough to defeat Xvim.

"Enthusiasm is no substitute for practice." Xvim said.

Alanic nodded solemnly, still channeling that terrible fire into the body of the demon king that had once served the gods and fled with their power, chanting dark chants that Zorian… well, he shouldn't be surprised that someone with Alanic's history knew, binding the terrible spirit to keep it from ever troubling mankind again.

"All loose ends wrapped up except one."

Zorian looked down at the bound Red Robe. The other time looper. His identity had been a mystery for so long and finally it was time to discover who Red Robe really was.

He reached forward, pushing his mana forward, tearing away the enchantment, revealing…

His brother, Fortov, sat under the mask. The one who had bullied him so often. The one who every restart had pushed a poor innocent girl into a poisonous purple creeper ivy patch.

Zorian growled. "Why Brother!"

Fortov strained against his bonds and spoke, voice full of passion. "You never gave me the chance I needed! I am a natural soul mage, just as you are a natural mind mage, and when Zach first brought all of us into the time loop, I seized the chance for greatness with the aid of Quatach-Ichl to hack the marker and become a looper! I cut out Zach's memories of myself and my friendship with Veyers! Every month, I got vengeance on the girl who once refused me. Now I will be greater than any of you!"

Zorian blinked. "She refused you?"

Fortov nodded. "I said she was cute, and she punched my shoulder and said stop it! She was into me later when I showed supreme power, but I want to be loved for who I am!" Fortov pressed his head to his hands, ashamed by the rejection.

Zorian swept his hand aside. "You fool! Some women" Taiven especially. "Can only show their affection through violence and cruelty. She was coming onto you!"

Fortov looked shocked. "Damn you, damn you all for humiliating me. I will kill you all!"

He started chanting and doing an elaborate piece of soul magic.

Zach dispelled it with a swish of his hand, the spell formula on his hidden magical weapon collapsing under his brutally strong magic.

"Amateur. Soul magic isn't fast enough for combat."

Zorian kicked Fortov, sending him back into the purple creeper patch behind him.

Veyers was revealed, eyes slitted like dragons, fire curling from the edge of his mouth. The lost scion of a fallen house, with an unstable and dangerous fire ability.

Zorian nodded. "Makes sense, you were the obvious candidate."

Veyers spoke. "I will have my vengeance! You will be destroyed by Noble House Boranova! With the aid of Quatach-Ichl I achieved my destiny and power. My power cut off Zach's memory, and forged a new destiny. And no bond can hold my fire."

He opened his mouth, and a gust of fire rushed out. Alanic stuck his hand out, fire being his specialty, and forced it back into Veyers. Veyers started to glow brighter and brighter, till he exploded.

Jornak, Veyer's lawyer, appeared.

Zorian nodded. "Makes sense..."

And there was Zorian.

"Zach!" called out the duplicate. "This is a trick by the primordial. I am the real Zorian! Help me!"

Real Zorian shook his head. "No, I am the real Zorian."

Zorian thrust his will into his clone. There was a momentary clash as he tore through the mind blank, and another clash as he recognized… himself. Less experienced at mind magic though. He broke through his defenses, and forced his duplicate to speak truthfully, even as Zach looked confused.

"I… Was…. Cloned by the primordial before. I never gained any of your foolish mercy, that you did when Zach's idiot soul bonded for you. I will achieve greatness, and none of you will stop me."

He struggled, but failed to escape, his magic held down by Zorian's.

Zorian asked his clone.

"Why did you blank out Zach's memories?"

Zorian shrugged.

"He and Veyers were getting too close. Our love-" An invisible, silent magic missile flew out from Zach, cutting his clone's head off.

"I think we can all agree we've had enough of that."

He stared at a face he'd never seen before.

"Who are you?"

The man stood up and ranted.

"I am Arnautović, spirit bound mage, sworn to stop you!"

Zorian shook his head. Didn't ring a bell. Cool title though.

He had thought it would be someone he knew…

A brief memory hit him.

"Hey, you're that middle aged man I saw ages ago who Kyron cut in half!"

Curiosity piped up. "Well that was unsatisfying."

And under the mask Zach appeared.

Zach gave a gasp of surprise in the background, and Alanic slammed a fist forward, sending a dragon of fire to pin him down.

"Why do you traffic and work with invaders!"

Zach screamed, the fire tearing across him, and spoke.

"Eldemar took everything from my family! After the primordial cloned me, I knew I must stop the evil that is Eldemar! You will regret-"

Zorian quick drew, pulling out a pistol and put three rounds in Zach's head. Zach collapsed, dead.

He shook his head. "Some people never learn."

"Good morning good morning Good Morning!" shouted Kirielle, from under the mask.

Zorian's mouth dropped. "What…. How?"

"I followed you to Cyoria one restart and Quatach-Ichl soul bonded me with Zach. I'm surprised he never mentioned me."

"But… why did you orchestrate the invasion?"

Kirielle stuck her tongue out.

"That's for leaving me with mom all those restarts, you meanie!"

"And Veyers?"

"Zach kept saying that Veyers did better combat magic than me. I showed him!"

Xvim Chao. The other one faded away- just a simulacrum.

"I knew you were an asshole!" said Zorian.

Xvim shook his head. "Zach was my most promising student. I thought, finally I will be able to give one of the students a proper education, but he slacked off to get drunk with Veyers. After that, I thought I had no other way to fulfil my life ambitions till you came along! I helped the invasion along so you could improve and now- look how far you came. And now, prepare yourself. It's time for the final lesson."

Xvim's bonds broke, and thousands of spheres of light appeared. Marbles. Not again...