After a RVF thread surfaced showing how terrible even Google thinks American women are, I got curious as to what it had to say about other nationalities of women.

The results….not so shocking, though they are hilarious.

Let’s get this party started with the RVF’s favorite pastime, bashing American chicks.

Spoiled, masculine, big, entitled, selfish, loud, boring, worthless, unhappy, whorish and cunty…..I may have made the last two up, but I’m certain they are numbers 10 and 11 on the list.

Why would any man subject themselves to women like this? Well, many are stuck in the US, so they don’t have a whole lot of choice. Others are so god dammed thirsty they actually find these traits attractive. Either way, American women are the only nationality of women I could find that didn’t have a single positive quality.

Fuck yeah, America.

Moving on….

Oh, black women (yes, I know that isn’t a nationality, but the results were too good to leave out), I guess our dark skinned brethren at the RVF are right on the money about you. Overweight? Check. Rude? Check. Loud? Check. Angry, masculine and bitter? Check, check and check.

They do get a hit for being beautiful, which I will get on board with. Black women can be very beautiful, assuming they don’t mirror the adjectives listed above.

Black women may rejoice at being described as “sassy”, but we all know that really just means bitchy, and no one likes an overweight, loud, bitchy woman, unless your name is Dan Conner.

Next up to bat…Russian women.

Tall, blonde and beautiful ice queens. Appears to be a fitting description from the Russia and FSU trip reports I’ve read. They also apparently have great fashion sense, which goes hand in hand with Google describing them as materialistic.

If you can handle some cold shoulders and a wee bit of gold digging, Russian women just might be for you.

Lets move on to some Latinas, and see what they have in store for us with the Brazilians and Mexicans.

Well, Brazilian women sure come off well in the eyes of Google. Aside from a bit of jealousy, which is easily made up for with that whole thing about them being easy, there isn’t a negative trait on the list. Good in bed, gorgeous, thin and pretty all sit just fine with me. No problem overlooking some jealousy issues in exchange for that.

No wonder so many black American men are hopping the next jet plane down to Rio De Janeiro.

Mexican women don’t stack up so well against their Brazilian sisters to the south, however they are still miles ahead of American women. That’s kind of like bragging about beating up the retarded kid at school though.

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Getting slammed for being mean and rude right out of the gate is a bit tough, and I’m on the fence how I feel about them being fertile, since I am not ready to have any little Mexican babies running around. Beautiful, attractive and pretty are great ways to be described though, so Mexican women definitely got something going for them.

Ok, let’s head across the ocean over to my personal stomping grounds, Asia.

Although I am no expert in Japanese women, Google’s results seem to be pretty consistent with what I know about them. Skinny, small, feminine, attractive, subservient, etc. Childish seems to fit, if the number of Japanese girls I see over here running around with little kid backpacks on is the norm.

I was a bit thrown off by loud though. The more I think about it, the more that must be a trait of Japanese-American women. The Japanese girls I see here in Bangkok are the exact opposite of that. Maybe people got them mixed up with those rude-ass Chinese tourists?

Anyway, moving on to what I know best, Thai women.

Google nearly got it right with Thai women. Thailand is definitely a country full of thin and attractive women. Along with feminine, those are probably the three best adjectives to describe them.

I gotta disagree with them being good in bed however. It’s not that they are bad in the sack, but normal Thai women are very reserved, so they won’t be screaming for you to stick your fingers in precarious places too often.

The whole Thai women all being prostitutes stereotype is to be expected. The fact is most men who come to Thailand end up paying prostitutes or dating bottom of the barrel Isaan chicks. Western women who come here also absolutely loathe Thai women. They are basically everything they want to be, but will never admit. The fact that western women can’t hardly give it away out here only adds to their frustration towards Thai women.

I had two female friends from back home stop off in Bangkok for a week while they were traveling. After an entire night of Thai women bashing (and me throwing a little gasoline onto the fire as well) such as, “Thai women are too skinny”, “They all look like little kids”, and “Guys who like me would never like girls like them” it resulted in two overweight white women doing crunches at 9AM on my living room floor.

Let’s shoot back over to the Anglo sphere and wrap this bad boy up with some bad teeth and bad attitudes.

English and Irish women seem to suffer from mostly the same character flaws as American women. Though, they do get beautiful and hot thrown in there as well. I’m not sure if this is actually the case, or if Google is mistaken by US searchers whose only contact with British women is via movie stars such as Elizabeth Hurley and Keira Knightely. Either way, stuck up, rude, angry, fussy, annoying and cold are far too much to put up with just for an aesthetically pleasing piece of ass.

Well, that’s enough Google searching and white women bashing for this week. Off to meet my Isaan girlfriend at Nana Plaza and give her 10,000 baht for her family’s sick buffalo. Cheers.

Read More: American Women Simply Can’t Compete

