photos by William Neal

Good day to all you friedaholics. Ready to binge?

Tomorrow, my little friends and enemies, is the first day of the State Fair of Texas. If you didn’t know this already, you need to get your arteries checked. Make sure they’re squeaky clean before you fill them with grease, grease, and more grease! If you skip out on all the amazing fried goodness that’s new at the State Fair this year, you can’t call yourself a proper Texan. ‘CAUSE WE ON THE TEXAS DIET, SON.

We eat fried buffalo for breakfast, fried sheriffs for lunch, and fried rattlesnakes for dinner.

Jump for the love of your expanding gut.

THE MUST TRY

Deep Fried Cuban Roll (Big Tex “Best Taste” winner)– Really good pork shoulder and ham and Swiss cheese fried together. You want this.

Fried Thanksgiving Dinner (Big Tex “Most Creative” winner) – A ball of house-made stuffing and diced turkey, then dipped into southern creamed corn and rolled with corn meal. Fried and served with brown gravy. (Justin and Rudy Martinez)

Deep Fried Elote – Corn, queso fresco, and salsa is mixed into this one-bite wonder. Spicy cream sauce is drizzled over the top. Find this at the Tower Building. (Location: TB-14F).

Deep Fried BBQ Wontons – Who likes Panda Express’ fried wontons? These come with hickory smoked pulled pork or chopped brisket instead. Find this inside Cotton Bowl Plaza (CBP-15F) and on the Funway (FW-37F).

Loaded Avocado Crispy Fries – I’m in a huge avocado craze, so there’s no way these fries could go wrong. Fresh avocado slices are breaded and fried until crispy. Remember when The Commissary in One Arts Plaza had avocado fries? Those were the days, eh? These are loaded up with Monterey Jack chese, queso, bacon crumbles, cilantro, and jalapeno slices on top. Find these at the Funway (FW-46F) and in Cotton Bowl Plaza (CBP-19F).

THE SALTY: SERIOUS FOOD FOR SERIOUS FOLKS

photos by William Neal

Fernie’s Deep Fried King Ranch Casserole (Big Tex finalist) – Looks like the fried version of Texas.



Spinach Dip Bites (Big Tex finalist) – Deep-fried creamy spinach artichoke dip. Interesting.

Southern Style Chicken-Fried Meatloaf (Big Tex finalist) – MEATLOAF AND MASHED POTATOES, MEATLOAF AND MASHED POTATOES. I have nothing else to say.

Texas Fried Fireball (Big Tex finalist) – Basically a pimento cheese+bacon ball. Not too shabby.

Deep Fried Creole Boulette – This sauteed tilapia fish ball has a secret mix inside, then it’s dipped in egg wash, and deep-fried. Comes with a green onion aioli sauce. Find this at Grand Avenue (G-4F).

Pig Toes on a Stick – Tator tots wrapped in smoked bacon and a slice of jalapeno are fried. Eat ’em plain or with a chili cheese dipping sauce. Find these inside the Cotton Bowl Plaza (CBP-16F) and on MLK Jr., Blvd. ( MLK-26F).

Deep-Fried Shrimp and Grits – A taste of the South can be found in this fried goodness. Grits, fresh herbs, cheese, and Cajun shrimp are mixed together and deep-fried. Find this in the Tower Building (TB-9F).

Deep Fried Spaghetti and Meatball – Take everything that is lovable about this childhood classic (pasta, tomato suace, and fresh mozz) and fry it inside a cheddar bay biscuit. Find this inside the Tower Building ( TB-9F) and near Gate G on MLK Jr., Blvd. (MLK-28F).

THE SWEET: HAPPY, HAPPY, JOY, JOY

photos by William Neal

Golden Fried Millionaire Pie (Big Tex finalist) – Feel like a million bucks with this cream cheese-pineapple-and Texas pecan creation.You’ll turn into Bill Gates right after.

Awesome Deep Fried Nutella® (Big Tex finalist) – Ummm, yeah. I would probably punch 30 people for one of these right now, if that’s what it’d take.

THE WEIRDOS

Deep Fried Chocolate Chip Burrito – Imagine a flour tortilla wrapped around chocolate chip cookie dough, then fried. Yep, that’s what this is. This comes with chocolate or strawberry drizzle and whipped cream. Find it at the Midway (M-23F0 and Nimitz Drive (N-17F).

Spicy Spam Empanadas – If you love Monty Python’s spam video, you’ll love this empanada filled with shredded spam, potatoes, bacon, shredded sharp cheddar cheese, onions, red and green peppers, jalapeno and chipotle peppers, and spices. Find it near the Front Gate (FG-4F).

THE SNOOZE LIST: NOT-SO-EXCITING NORMAL STUFF

The Beast Burrito – This ginormous burrito (wrapped inside a 14-inch flour tortilla) has Angus burger meat, beans, rice, onions, tomatoes, and a lot of other good stuff. Comes with chili, chipotle, or green sauce. Find it at the Coliseum Drive (C3-F).

Fried Shrimp & Cheese Jalapeno – Just a normal stuff jalapeno pepper with shrimp and cream cheese. Find it at the Coliseum Drive (C-2F).

NEW VENDORS, YAY!

Scrumbscious Pie Shakes – Basically a milkshake made with real pie! Tower Building (TB-26F)

Fried Collard Greens – Healthy stuff turned into bad stuff! Fun Way St. (FW-25F)

Beckett’s Cake Balls – Deep-fried donut holes! Fun Way St. (FW-31F)

Maui Wowi Smoothies –(Not fried) smoothies! Grand Ave next to Belgian Waffle Stand (G-43F)

Main Stage Sports Bar ­– Where you can watch sports and listen to music! Located next to the Silverado Main Stage and features a covered outside patio facing the main stage.

Highland Park Soda Fountain – Normal sandwiches and sodas! Tower Building (TB-13F)