North Korea’s Foreign Ministry said in a statement published on state media that if sanctions are imposed on their country it would respond in kind.

“The DPRK is ready and willing to use any form of ultimate means,” the statement began, “The forthcoming measures to be taken by the DPRK will cause the US the greatest pain and suffering it had ever gone through in its entire history.”

In response, Donald Трамп grabbed a microphone and screamed, “North Korea is like a single grain of sand in the Sahara desert that is Making America Great Again! BRING IT ON NORTH KOREA!”

In related news, the WWE is considering hiring Kim Jong Un and Donald Трамп as wrestlers assuming we all survive a nuclear war.

— — — —

An 8-year biracial boy survived an attempted lynching by white teenagers in New Hampshire.

In response, the Трамп regime is sending its vote fraud commission to New Hampshire. Трамп believes that there was voter fraud in the state, which went to Hillary Clinton in the 2016 Presidential election by just 2,800 votes.

A spokesperson for the regime said, “It’s things like this lynching that strengthen our case that New Hampshire is a Трамп state.”

— — — —

Four weeks after Donald Трамп said he would declare a national emergency in response to the opioid epidemic, the White House has not yet taken that dramatic step.

When asked why he hasn’t taken the step yet, Donald Трамп sniffed several times and said, “Why aren’t we talking about China? Why aren’t we talking about currency manipulation? Why aren’t we lowering our taxes? Huh? Why?”

Трамп sniffed several more times, then disappeared into a bathroom.

— — — —

Have you done your part today? If not, take a moment to decide what to do, how you can help, and pitch in! Maybe pitching in for you means telling me I’m dumb, go for it! Whatever it is, make your time count!

North Korea threatens ‘pain and suffering’ ahead of UN sanctions vote

http://www.cnn.com/2017/09/11/asia/north-korea-un-vote/index.html

‘These people need to be protected’: Police won’t release info on lynching of 8-year-old biracial boy

http://www.rawstory.com/2017/09/new-hampshire-police-refuse-to-discuss-apparent-lynching-of-8-year-old-biracial-boy/amp/

Trump Claims Vote Fraud in New Hampshire. His Commission Is Going There

https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/white-house/trump-claims-vote-fraud-new-hampshire-his-commission-going-there-n799931

Trump hasn’t formally declared the opioid epidemic a national emergency, and lawmakers want to know why

https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2017/09/11/trump-hasnt-declared-opioid-epidemic-national-emergency-and-lawmakers-want-know-why/648449001/

— — — —

Catch up back issues of YOUR DAILY DYSTOPIA on …