Dame Helen Mirren has never been one to mince words. And at this week’s ELLE Women in Hollywood event in Los Angeles, the loved and respected actress added to her forthright record with a sharp, wise and witty thank-you speech after she was honored as one of the magazine’s “legends” alongside Lupita Nyong’o, Kristen Stewart, Amy Adams and more.

“To make you proud that you chose to honor me tonight, I am going to be the nastiest of all nasty women,” she told the assembled glitzy crowd, alluding to one of the U.S. election’s more recent and memorable memes before launching into her list of six important pieces of advice to bestow upon other women.

That advice includes: never drink alcohol (unless celebrating, upset, or on a day that ends with the letter Y — luckily, quite a flexible policy); don’t be in a rush to get married; give your partner freedom to achieve their ambitions; always split aces, eights and nines on the blackjack table; connect with friends daily — beyond social media; and “ignore anyone who judges the way you look, especially if he or she is some anonymous miserable creep lurking on the Internet or is a bloated, small-headed dinosaury-handed candidate for President.”

Mirren also mentioned that punctuality was one of the secrets to her success. Sounds on point. All hail this timeless queen.

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Write to Raisa Bruner at raisa.bruner@time.com.