TW: eating disorders

I wonder what it’s like to be able to have friends without having to remain silent about people criticizing and saying harmful things about my body, because I’m fat.

I wonder what it’s like to stand up for fat people, and not be told it’s in my best interest to instead stay silent and ignore the haters, even though I know they’ll continue to hate and hurt other fat people.

I wonder what it’s like to have people back you up for standing up for yourself and other fat people instead of shaming you for not hating fat people like they do.

I wonder when I’ll finally be able to have the kinds of friends others seem to have, friends who help them, friends who don’t tell them they need to stop being a white knight, friends who understand that fat acceptance is an important issue.

I wonder if there will ever be a day when I don’t feel guilty for speaking out and derailing conversations because someone said something fatphobic. A day when I won’t be called passive-aggressive for backing down after having hate hurled at me for the crime of standing up for myself and others who are bullied for being fat.

I wonder if there will ever be a day when I don’t live in fear: in fear of someone making fun of me because I’m fat, in fear that someone might hurt the fat people I care about, in fear that the hatred myself and other fat people have to put up with could get worse.