Shayne Gostisbehere is stupid. He shouldn’t be real. We’re so far beyond the fluke stage it’s not even funny. This is Chase Utley those first few years. This is The Man stuff. Every one of Ghost’s 14 goals is either game-tying, go-ahead or game-winning. That doesn’t even make sense. The odd conundrum that would’ve presented itself had he scored an empty netter to ice the game and record a hat trick last night would’ve been delightful– on one hand, I didn’t want to see him break that tying-winning goal thing (insurance goals are no fun), but on the other hand, there’s a reasonable chance bra-throwing grandma would’ve shown her fufu on the big screen (consider me intrigued). Alas. Ghost didn’t score a third in the Flyers’ impressive – oh my God they’re streaking! – 4-2 win over the Lightning, but he did score two highly impressive goals.

He has such a knack for scoring that, on this play, his first goal, he just slowly drifted in from the point and eventually pounded it in around the goal line. That’s a calculated even-strength risk most defensemen wouldn’t dare to make, much less have the sort of sniffer for the puck that Ghost does. Somehow he knew it would SQUIRT loose. Haven’t seen a Flyers defenseman do this sort of thing successfully since, oh, say, Eric Desjardins.

HOLY COW HE’S G’S SPIRIT ANIMAL! I’ve taken the liberty of flipping the play, and tell me this doesn’t look like G when he’s in his natural power play spot:

GOOD CHRIST– THEY’RE THE SAME! If these two live at the wide end of the umbrella for the next six years, lots of goals, I predict. What’s more, is Ghost’s ability to take a hot pass, which somewhat handcuffed him, and turn it into delicious twine-ripping sweetness. And look at G’s oh fuck you, no you didn’t reaction:

Starting to love this team again. Starting to. Buy a shirt: