In a place like San Francisco, it’s important to save pennies whenever you can. Luckily, there’s no shortage of free things to do in the Bay Area, so you can still enjoy a little culture while ignoring how much you wish you could pay rent and eat at the same time.

This is what you’re going to distract your mom with when she calls to ask if you’ve stopped crying in the shower over your inability to ever buy a house for the grandkids she doesn’t have yet. You’re welcome for the new material — we’re all making it in this crazy place together.

1. Take in Some Theater, Ya Heathen

Don’t stress over the fact that seeing Hamilton has somehow become a luxury afforded only to the elite (or the lottery blessed); the Bay has several ways for you to get down with your inner drama kid. Try Samuel Peaches’s Peripatetic Players, a sometimes improvisational nonprofit theater troupe that tours Bay Area parks all summer with free adventures on a traveling stage.

If you’re more a doer than a viewer, catch Saturday Write Fever every second Saturday of the month (except September) at EXIT Theatre in downtown San Francisco. It’s rapid-fire script writing that’s open to the first batch of people to sign up before the list fills, followed by a “flash fried” performance.

2. Live! in the Castro, Even If You Don’t Live in the Castro

You see what I did there? The English language is a crazy thing — almost as crazy as the regular weekend lineup of live music and performances that this series offers at Jane Warner Plaza in the Castro. Spanning genres ranging from Mexican folklorico dancing (June 3) to alt-punk bluegrass (June 30) to contemporary dance (July 22) to live accordion music (September 30), Live! in the Castro has a little something for everyone each Saturday midday.

3. Pen Your Misery in Front of the Ocean

I don’t know if you know this or not, Bay, but there is an ocean out there. And it costs nothing for you to visit. Sure, the Pacific isn’t the warmest…like…ever, but consider the return on your investment from sitting sullenly on Ocean Beach while watching the sun go down and penning your heartbreak into your Moleskine. Your next novel, She Left Me for a Tech Billionaire Because I Spent All My Money on Moleskines, will at least pay off your student debt. And it’s all thanks to that goddamn body of water.

4. Go to the Goddamn Library

Reading is good for you, and getting a library card doesn’t cost a thing. Make it a goal to actually sign up for a card if you haven’t—it will get you into free stuff all summer. After all, your local libraries are havens of culture that shouldn’t be ignored—see constellation-inspired installation art by Nayland Blake at the San Francisco Public Library, or attend a talk with Mark Oshiro at the downtown Oakland branch. The Discover & Go program offers free admission to museums and other events, depending on your local branch. For example, library-card holders in Oakland can get into the Contemporary Jewish Museum and the Charles M. Schultz Museum for free.

Mural by Jessica Sabogal / Image on LocalWiki

5. Tour Local Murals

You don’t have to wait for a free museum day to take in sweeping painted vistas. Clarion Alley in the Mission of San Francisco is an ever-changing and ever-evolving outdoor gallery that costs nothing to enjoy. In fact, much of the Mission is covered in can’t-miss mural work, so bring a good pair of shoes and start walking. In the East Bay, Oakland’s mural scene is a thing unto itself, with work like the one pictured above by Jessica Sabogal on 20th and Telegraph. #OaklandMuralWeek also debuted nine incredible new additions to the public-art scene last week in Jack London Square—and yes, there’s a map.

6. SFMOMA Free Floors

Yes, you heard me correctly. The San Francisco Museum of Modern Art has various works on display for free on its first two levels. You can see Richard Serra’s massive iron work, Sequence, or swing through the Public Knowledge space for all the free books on art your eyes can handle in one sitting (you can’t keep them—they’re loaners). If you’re an architecture nerd, then the recently renovated space, designed by Snøhetta, will make a quick stop all the more enthralling for your $0.

7. Get Over Yourself, and Go to a Comedy Show

Nothing kills a party like the words “free comedy show,” but hear me out. Uptown Night Club on Telegraph in Oakland has a once-a-week stand-up series that involves outdoor entertainment and bangin’ drink specials. The brick patio is cozy, and the bar inside is decidedly old school, with brass fixtures and wood panels. The ever-changing lineup is hosted by Adam Pearlstein, Joe Gorman and Josef Anolin. You’ll want to get there early, as seating fills up quickly, and there are only so many places you can shove a chair — although the folks with the mic may say otherwise.

8. Get Over Yourself, and Go to an Open Mic

Only slightly more despised than free comedy shows are open mics. But here’s why you should go to one anyway: they’re weird in the best way. Go to an open-mic night at Neck of the Woods or Freight & Salvage. Have a beer (I know, beer’s not free, and we’re all sad about it). Watch as a young man in a corduroy suit reads erotic poetry as a woman in a unitard juggles cantaloupes in what you think may be some form of interpretive dance.

9. Yerba Buena Gardens Festival

Since you’re already going to Yerba Buena on your lunch to contemplate quitting your cushy tech gig, you may as well time it so you have a soundtrack. The Yerba Buena Gardens Festival is a summer-long lineup of free performances throughout the week, generally during “lunch” hours (ranging from noon to 4:00 p.m.). Events include live bands, dance performances and poetry readings, with acts like Dalia & the Big Violin or the San Francisco Mime Troupe. Obviously, the soundtrack quip doesn’t apply to the mime troupe, but maybe they’ll make you hate yourself a little less.

10. Insta Some Awful Public Art

Just. This.