How does an entrepreneur take a loan from the government to avoid layoffs when his company’s snack lounge has free kombucha on tap?

The answer: Very carefully. Or, better yet, not at all.

All joking aside about quirky tech perks, the question is front and center for Silicon Valley entrepreneurs in this phase of the coronavirus crisis.

Under the recently passed coronavirus relief bill, the federal Small Business Administration is offering loans through the $350 billion Paycheck Protection Program (by way of approved banks). The loans are aimed at providing temporary help for small businesses to make payroll.

Hundreds of thousands of mom-and-pop businesses have been rushing to get the loans to prevent layoffs — despite myriad reports about bottlenecks in the process.