PUBLISHED 23 July 2017

I guess it was National Hot Dog Day a minute ago. Hot Dogs are more important than you might imagine & the reason why they are important is probably also unknown to you - but the fact is - hot dogs are integral to what makes America American & if you don't eat hot dogs, you're probably a dupe for T.H.E.M.

But before you start reading - here's this piece's soundtrack. KISS - 10,000 Years - Live at Winterland - 1975 - Hot Dogs, Rock&Roll & Comic Books all wrapped into one bun.

The idea here is America. Give us your shittiest cuts of meat, your crappiest paper, your loudest colors, your spiciest spices to make it taste good & cover up the off-tastes, your shiniest rhinestones, your most fucked-up Old-Testament stories, wrap them in spandex, turn the volume up to 11, grind that motherfucker up with salt & smoke it. Hot Dogs, Rock&Roll & Comic Books. America.

"A hot dog at the ball park is better than a steak at the Ritz." - Humphrey Bogart.

Hot Dogs are the most delicious food on this here God's Green Earth - hot dogs are a caricature of the perfect flavor - they transform the complexities & modesty of their origins into an essentialized fireworks show of hot dog in your mouth. Hot dogs become flavor pictograms. Fireworks - fire crackers - hot dogs. Hot Dogs belong on the streets, just like you & me & Rock&Roll & comic books. We belong on the god damned streets with the hot dogs & the comic books & the banana peels & the Rock&Roll music & the motorcycles & the bulges in jeans & the nipples standing against the wind. We all come from humble & messy origins - but we can be transformed into something presentable. Something brightly colored, intense, iconic & deeply meaningful.

"After I saw KISS on stage, I wanted my show to look like the fourth of July. The persona of Rick James was wild & crazy, sex, drugs & Rock&Roll." - Rick James

Leave the Old World behind - but don't forget who you are - use these American art forms of comic books, Rock&Roll & Hot Dogs to express YOUR STORY - but communicate it in this new American language. Unhyphenate yourself - you don't have to be a XYZ American, a Punk Rocker, a Goldberg-Williams, a whatever the fuck. T.H.E.Y. want U.S. divided. Because what is the use of one bouncy piece of gristle from a hot dog? Who wants that? But a hot dog, glistening, exploding with flavor & iconic enough to warrant a portrait by Roy Lichtenstein. Everyone wants that because a hot dog is greater than the sum of its parts.

Hot Dogs are America. Hot Dogs are Rock&Roll. Hot Dogs are Comic Books. Hot Dogs should be served in a comic book.

"If you live in Rock&Roll, as I do, you see the reality of sex, of male lust & women being aroused by male lust. It attracts women. It doesn't repel them." - Camille Paglia

She might as well be talking about hot dogs.

- Sean Äaberg

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