When the boastful prime minister of India, Narendra Modi launched the Digital India mission, the Congress party claimed that the digital India Programme was really launched by former Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi and taken forward several notches by the UPA government during its 10 year rule.

“We want to tell the BJP government that Digital India Programme in India was really launched by former Prime Minister Rajiv Gandhi, who heralded in India a new IT age, IT and Telecom revolution. This work was taken forward many notches by the Congress-led UPA government in 10 years,” Congress spokesperson Randeep Surjewala had told the media then.

(Source: ANI Newswires)

We were literally moved to tears once we got to read this news. Upon careful examination we came across some startling facts. We realized that Rajiv Gandhi was the pioneer of many a revolutions in India and the ‘godi‘ media shunned them all. But we believe in giving credit where it is due. Rajiv Gandhi, the pioneer of Digital India Programme was also the father of the following revolutions.

Spotless India Movement and the Introduction to Washing machine: Not many people know that Rajiv Gandhi loved the idea of a clean and spotless India, long before Modi started his phoney Swaccha Bharat Abhiyaan. Rajiv Gandhi, known for his dazzling white Kurtas kick-started the Spotless India Movement by introducing Indians to the Washing Machines. Housewives blubbered (Like they do in Arvind Kejriwal ads) when this modest looking machine was introduced to them.

Cool India Movement and the Introduction to Air conditioners: Rajiv Gandhi was known to be a cool man. A level headed fellow who never curled his fists or crunched his teeth. He hated arrogance and absolutely abhorred people who lost their cool over trivial issues. His team full of meticulous researchers provided him with a report that listed the tropical climate as the leading reason behind the lack of coolness in Indians. It was then when RG senior introduced Indians to ACs. Cool air had had a magical effect on Indians, cases of robberies, road rage and other exothermic activities registered a sharp decline as people preferred staying indoors. Cool India Movement was thus declared to be a massive success.

Connect India Movement and the Introduction to iPhone: Long before Steve Jobs introduced the world to the revolutionary iPhone, Rajiv Gandhi possessed a gadget similar to Iphone X and it is rumored amongst the inner circles of congressmen that Rajiv Gandhi had broken new grounds in a revolutionary wireless, handheld technology that had the potential of connecting people worldwide. He soon realized that a demented American Hippie was working on the same idea, so he immediately gave up his plan to let the Hippie and his 2 bit organization prosper. Connect India Movement could never take off.

See India Movement and Introduction to Contact lenses: Gandhi’s gol chashma became Congress’s Insignia. Rajaji’s Horn rimmed were a super hit. Bose’s “Round Specs” were quite fashionable too, the ever so fashionable Rajiv Gandhi wanted to carve his own name in the Cool Chashma segment too. The supremely entrepreneurial Rajiv Gandhi hence introduced the Indians to Contact lenses. The art of wearing a chashma while not wearing it was revolutionary. Sexist men immediately started finding bespectacled (now lens-ed) girls desirable. Interviewers started giving importance to the candidates sans glasses too. “I have contacts” became a style statement and thus Rajiv Gandhi enabled the nation with his unique vision, literally, figuratively and philosophically.

Borrow India Movement and Introduction to Credit Card: This probably was the visionary Rajiv Gandhi’s biggest success. Taking a cue from his family, Rajiv Gandhi realized the awesome borrowing potential of Indians. He knew that Indians like the idea of feeling rich. He thus launched the Borrow India Movement and introduced them to Credit Cards. These little plastic cards suddenly revolutionized the Indian Markets. People started discussing Credit Card EMIs, free movie tickets and tupperwares, yes tupperwares that they got after redeeming the points.

What Randeep Surjewala said was just the tip of the iceberg, underneath the tip lies a whole mountain of Rajiv Gandhi’ s awesomemess.

This is a work of satire and is not supposed to be taken seriously!