There was sad news in F1 this week as Dr Helmut Marko had his dog shot.

‘It’s a shame because the dog was very loyal and usually well behaved,’ explained a Red Bull insider. ‘In fact, just two weeks ago the dog saved some orphans from inside a burning building. But then it slightly growled when it saw a squirrel outside and Dr Marko had it shot.’

The dog will be replaced by a new, younger dog from Dr Marko’s Italian puppy farm which will be looked after by Christian Horner. ‘Christian is very excited to get the new dog,’ said a source. ‘And he doesn’t even mind the dog’s dad hanging around the garage in a bad leather jacket looking like a boozy scrap metal dealer.’