Such was my disgust at the pathetic, gutless and shambolic performance of Laurie Daley’s merry gang of goons in Game I that I decided to walk away from my official role as Blues assistant coach and health and fitness co-ordinator.

But after much begging from the grey headed, blazer wearing, absent minded imbeciles, which are the NSW Rugby League board, I’ve reluctantly decided to do a Daly Cherry-Evans.

Meaning, I’m back in the fold, with a hefty pay rise after never really planning to leave!

You beauty!!!!

So in the lead-up to Game II at the historic cesspit which is the MCG, I’ve put together a little diary of what we got up to ahead of the game.

PAUL KENT: State of Origin is a problem - but is the NRL even paying attention?

REMARKABLE RECORD: Paul Gallen aims to add MCG to his fields of dreams

INCREDIBLE COURAGE: How Sally Fitzgibbon inspires Blue Trent Merrin

Day 1. THE STAR, SYDNEY

We gather at The Star for the announcement of the side for Game II.

I blow $300 on the pokies then make my way up to the official team area to meet all the boys before the side is released to the media.

No one is more shocked to see Trent Hodkinson in the team again than Trent Hodkinson himself.

To his credit he stood up in front of the group and said he was disappointed by his performance in Game I and will do anything to make amends. I suggest pulling out with a phantom injury would be a good start!

Annoyed, the hate filled, try hard, little “halfback” took a wild swing at me, but in true Hodko form, like his field goal attempts, he missed by a mile.

After that the team is introduced to the public, and the players spend the morning talking to the media about how good they think they are. Robbie Farah is in his element.

media_camera Reg Reagan’s Origin diary

DAY 2. COFFS HARBOUR

Like last year, Laurie “Hair Plugs” Daley wants to take the team to a place where there will be no distractions and the players will be bored mindless.

So there’s no better place than Coffs Harbour.

The Mayor of Coffs greets the players with an official welcome and hands the team the keys to the city, which hopefully means a 25% discount at the local lap dancing joint.

That night we gather in “coach cat hair’s” room for a review of what went wrong in Game I.

We all happily agree to blame Trent Hodkinson and the review is finished within two minutes.

The players relax and have a few drinks while me and fullback Josh Dugan climb on the hotel roof and tear into a few Vodka Cruisers.

Me and ‘Duges’ have a heart to heart chat which should remain strictly confidential, however confidentiality is never my strong suit and I tended to agree with him that Gal should never have been picked and that Laurie is totally out of his depth as a coach.

PAUL KENT: State of Origin is a problem - but is the NRL even paying attention?

REMARKABLE RECORD: Paul Gallen aims to add MCG to his fields of dreams

INCREDIBLE COURAGE: How Sally Fitzgibbon inspires Blue Trent Merrin

DAY 3. COFFS, CAPTAINCY HANDOVER

After breakfast Laurie organises a Captaincy Handover, as Robbie Farah passes back the role of skipper to horse head Paul Gallen.

Robbie makes some sort of rambling speech saying how proud he was to lead the boys into battle in Game I.

Me and Duges are still on the hotel roof slamming down Vodka Cruisers, so we start heckling Farah. I make the excellent point of asking big nose why he didn’t pass the ball to Pearce, instead of my drinking buddy ‘Duges’, when the field goal was needed … All the players let out a cheer.

But our hairless leader, Laurie Daley, blows a fuse and demands we get off the roof immediately.

I scream back, “I’ll make a deal. We’ll come down off the roof if you resign.”

The Blues players are now going wild, chanting, “Reggie, Reggie, Reggie”. It’s like I’m back in my halcyon days, playing for the Warilla Gorillas.

Daley refuses to resign, so we refuse to come down, and order another carton of Cruisers.

PHIL ROTHFIELD: Gallen broadside is just what the game needed

EXPERT PREDICTIONS: Who will win Origin 2 and why?

HALVES DILEMMA: Will pigeons ruin NSW’s kicking game?

media_camera Reg Reagan’s Origin diary

DAY 4. COFFS HARBOUR. ROOF MUTINY

After breakfast the team go and train.

Now when I say “team”, I mean Robbie Farah and Trent Hodkinson, all the rest of the players have joined me and ‘Duges’ on the hotel roof for a “team meeting”, where the main discussion point is how to get rid of that hair piece wearing coach of ours.

Laurie turns up and in desperation begs with the players to get off the roof. It really is pathetic.

We nominate Josh Dugan as our team spokesman, which in hindsight is a mistake because even when he’s sober he struggles to speak plain English.

Finally we call up Daly Cherry-Evan’s management, Gavin and Chris Orr, who negotiate with Laurie, that we’ll backflip on our decision to stay up on the roof if we receive a substantial pay rise. Laurie agrees and we climb down and stumble over to the training field.

DAY 4, PM

That night I organise the activities and decide to play a board game I’ve invented. It’s very simple, each person stands up and nominates the player most responsible for the Game I loss.

It’s called The Blame Game. It’s a lot of fun, except if you’re Mitchell Pearce, who was voted the “winner”, just ahead of Michael Jennings and Daniel Toupou.

DAY 5. MELBOURNE

We arrive in that giant dump called Melbourne and Duges and I immediately climb up on the hotel roof and down a few Cruisers before training.

We train at the MCG and I gotta say, as a venue, it was very underwhelming, in fact the surface and facilities were nothing short of a disgrace.

As it turned out, we were at the wrong venue, “Duct Tape Head Daley”, took a wrong turn and we trained at a local high school. I was wondering how it was going to fit 100,000 people in.

media_camera Reg Reagan’s Origin diary

DAY 5, PM

My sister Rose lives in Melbourne and I decided to take the team over to meet her at work. She’s a stripper at Spearmint Rhino. I’m really proud of her and she’s got a great body for a 65-year-old.

The boys are very respectful, except for Aaron Woods, who tries to tip her with coins.

DAY 6. MELBOURNE

The day before the game and we have a press conference for the Victorian media at Crown Casino.

I drop another $400 on the pokies and by the time the presser starts I’m in a foul mood.

One reporter asks what we think of Melbourne. I reply, “It’s unique. It’s probably the only place in the world where if ISIS rolled in, it would be an improvement.”

Some bloke with a head so red it looks like he was impersonating the Japanese flag stood up and called me a disgrace, so I jobbed him!

Next thing I’m in cuffs and being led out like I’m some sort of criminal, which technically, as my record shows, I am, but that’s not the point.

On the news that night, its lead story, “rugby league oaf punches Eddie McGuire.”

I didn’t realise it was Eddie, otherwise I would’ve hit him harder!

GAME DAY. MELBOURNE

Well it’s game day and not much is planned. Me and Duges are planning a couple of hours on the hotel roof, while a few of the other players are gonna go over to visit my sister for lunch.

I think we’re basically no chance!

Blog with NSW Origin coach Laurie Daley