Critique on Latter Day Saint Culture





Hello, this is my critique on Latter Day Saint culture and some things that we can work on to make a more inviting, Christlike environment. I am not saying that I am foreign to these setbacks. I am born and raised Latter Day Saint, and the deeper I am getting into adulthood, I am seeing friends and family fall away. Many of them have expressed to me some of these topics that helped dictate their decision to leave the gospel. I am not saying that they left solely because of Latter Day Saint culture, but I believe that it played a role in their choices. In many cases, it appeared to me that something in this list played part in the first negative feeling, thought, or impression that they had that led them on their journey to leave the restored gospel. Hello, this is my critique on Latter Day Saint culture and some things that we can work on to make a more inviting, Christlike environment. I am not saying that I am foreign to these setbacks. I am born and raised Latter Day Saint, and the deeper I am getting into adulthood, I am seeing friends and family fall away. Many of them have expressed to me some of these topics that helped dictate their decision to leave the gospel. I am not saying that they left solely because of Latter Day Saint culture, but I believe that it played a role in their choices. In many cases, it appeared to me that something in this list played part in the first negative feeling, thought, or impression that they had that led them on their journey to leave the restored gospel.





This inspired me to look at us as a people from an outsider perspective. It challenged me to look through many different lenses. I have been doing this for the last 6 months in church/ meetings and noting down topics that I thought could be viewed as a negative. I am active, and have a testimony that is nourished daily. I do not want to come across as negative or judgmental, and if I do, then I apologize. However, it is a critique so I needed to use judgements to form them. I say lol a decent amount. It’s a bad habit I have developed, and I give you permission to judge me for it. Once again forgive me for any judgements or opinions you disagree with, but do not let it deter you from the points that I am trying to make. This inspired me to look at us as a people from an outsider perspective. It challenged me to look through many different lenses. I have been doing this for the last 6 months in church/ meetings and noting down topics that I thought could be viewed as a negative. I am active, and have a testimony that is nourished daily. I do not want to come across as negative or judgmental, and if I do, then I apologize. However, it is a critique so I needed to use judgements to form them. I say lol a decent amount. It’s a bad habit I have developed, and I give you permission to judge me for it. Once again forgive me for any judgements or opinions you disagree with, but do not let it deter you from the points that I am trying to make.





Some of the critiques I have you may think, “hmmm, I have never even heard of this?” or “I do not agree with this!” And that is perfectly alright! We should almost never agree on something 100%. This is the edited, and shorter version. I also have the full version posted, but I ran this by some buddies first and they persuaded me to make a more “Latter Day Saint friendly” version. If you do choose to read the lengthier critique, just know that it includes more personal stories and some language. I wrote this the week before President Nelson said to use Latter Day Saint instead of Mormon so it says Mormon in that one, because I am too lazy to change that one. I have put enough effort into this as is. Some of the critiques I have you may think, “hmmm, I have never even heard of this?” or “I do not agree with this!” And that is perfectly alright! We should almost never agree on something 100%. This is the edited, and shorter version. I also have the full version posted, but I ran this by some buddies first and they persuaded me to make a more “Latter Day Saint friendly” version. If you do choose to read the lengthier critique, just know that it includes more personal stories and some language. I wrote this the week before President Nelson said to use Latter Day Saint instead of Mormon so it says Mormon in that one, because I am too lazy to change that one. I have put enough effort into this as is.





Some of these I have dealt with firsthand, some of these I have not, but I included them because some of my friends that have left the restored gospel pointed them out to me. I do not get to choose what someone’s feelings were when they left, and although I may have disagreed or thought them petty, that does not make it smaller for the people that those parts of our culture impacted. Some of them might not have anything to do with people leaving the church but relate to us achieving more harmony as a community. Some of these I have dealt with firsthand, some of these I have not, but I included them because some of my friends that have left the restored gospel pointed them out to me. I do not get to choose what someone’s feelings were when they left, and although I may have disagreed or thought them petty, that does not make it smaller for the people that those parts of our culture impacted. Some of them might not have anything to do with people leaving the church but relate to us achieving more harmony as a community.





I just want us to know our own cultural issues. Many of us are born and raised in our culture, and we have no other experience to compare against, so we are stuck in a state of ignorance. I know I was, and still am. The more I looked at our culture from an outside perspective the more President Hinckley’s words “peculiar people” rang true. And this is not a critique on Utah Latter Day Saint culture as I was raised outside of Utah my entire life. I just want us to know our own cultural issues. Many of us are born and raised in our culture, and we have no other experience to compare against, so we are stuck in a state of ignorance. I know I was, and still am. The more I looked at our culture from an outside perspective the more President Hinckley’s words “peculiar people” rang true. And this is not a critique on Utah Latter Day Saint culture as I was raised outside of Utah my entire life.





This is not a closed list either. There are going to be things I missed. I want to get a dialogue going. Please think of topics that I missed, so that we can achieve greater harmony and Christ like attributes.

If you would like to jump to a topic that interests you they are the following:

1. Spiritual Posturing

2. Political Beliefs do not Equal Religious Beliefs

3. Gossip

4. Joseph Smith was not Jesus Christ

5. Chill out on Social Media

6. Stop Being Afraid of New Things

7. Mental Health and the Gospel

8. Asking Questions is not a Lack of Faith

9. Callings in the Church

10. Stigmas of Sin

11. Stop Talking About Females like they're Exalted Beings Already

12. Latter Day Saint Women do not Need to Jump into Motherhood

13. Unconventional Sins Treated Worse

14. Don't Make up Doctrine

15. Stop with the Victim Complex

16. Please Stop Whining About Life

17. The Word of Wisdom is Easy to Follow Halfway

18. Young Men and Missions

19. Molding Members to fit the "Normal Latter Day Saint"

20. Science Does not Debunk Latter Day Saintism

21. Do not Masturbate

22. Accept Sins from our Religions Past

23. What God says Goes

24. Sexual Sins Being Treated on a Case by Case Basis at Discretion of Bishop

25. We need Better Church Education





1. SPIRITUAL POSTURING





I wanted to start with spiritual posturing, because I believe this sits at the root of most cultural issues. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is sometimes set up in a way, unintentionally, that can harbor spiritual pride. In order to first address this I feel I need to break down spiritual pride. As President Ezra Taft Benson said in his talk Beware of Pride, “Pride is a very misunderstood sin, and many are sinning in ignorance… Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness.” I need to make sure we understand this before we move on. Pride is very misunderstood and we are sinning in ignorance. Pride is not just the macho alpha male type guy blatantly putting people down, but also the quiet relief society sister talking mad smack on Sister Jones to her kids because Sister Jones goes running on the sabbath. I wanted to start with spiritual posturing, because I believe this sits at the root of most cultural issues. The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is sometimes set up in a way, unintentionally, that can harbor spiritual pride. In order to first address this I feel I need to break down spiritual pride. As President Ezra Taft Benson said in his talk Beware of Pride, “Pride is a very misunderstood sin, and many are sinning in ignorance… Most of us think of pride as self-centeredness, conceit, boastfulness, arrogance, or haughtiness.” I need to make sure we understand this before we move on. Pride is very misunderstood and we are sinning in ignorance. Pride is not just the macho alpha male type guy blatantly putting people down, but also the quiet relief society sister talking mad smack on Sister Jones to her kids because Sister Jones goes running on the sabbath.





President Benson states, “We are tempted daily to elevate ourselves above others and diminish them. The proud make every man their adversary by pitting their intellects, opinions, works, wealth, talents, or any other worldly measuring device against others.” When you measure and compare yourself to others you are doing it out of pride. You are unintentionally creating a spiritual hierarchy and ranking them. This is bad, because it is where many of us get our self-worth whether it be physically or spiritually. It is not that we are good, but that we are better than someone else that matters to the prideful heart. The ever so general conference quoted C.S. Lewis says, “pride gets not pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man.” President Benson states, “We are tempted daily to elevate ourselves above others and diminish them. The proud make every man their adversary by pitting their intellects, opinions, works, wealth, talents, or any other worldly measuring device against others.” When you measure and compare yourself to others you are doing it out of pride. You are unintentionally creating a spiritual hierarchy and ranking them. This is bad, because it is where many of us get our self-worth whether it be physically or spiritually. It is not that we are good, but that we are better than someone else that matters to the prideful heart. The ever so general conference quoted C.S. Lewis says, “pride gets not pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man.”





Insecurity stems from pride, because we are comparing ourselves to others in order to esteem ourselves higher or lower than that person. We talk badly of others, because we put them beneath us, therefore lifting us up and establishing ourselves better than them. This is in any aspect of life, but I wanted to speak about it spiritually, because it runs rampant in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Rampant. Insecurity stems from pride, because we are comparing ourselves to others in order to esteem ourselves higher or lower than that person. We talk badly of others, because we put them beneath us, therefore lifting us up and establishing ourselves better than them. This is in any aspect of life, but I wanted to speak about it spiritually, because it runs rampant in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. Rampant.





Understand that it is out of your own spiritual insecurities that you feel the need to speak unkindly about someone else. You are trying to knock them down a notch, to put yourself a notch higher. We are all equal. There is no spiritual hierarchy that we are all trying to climb up. Understand that it is out of your own spiritual insecurities that you feel the need to speak unkindly about someone else. You are trying to knock them down a notch, to put yourself a notch higher. We are all equal. There is no spiritual hierarchy that we are all trying to climb up.





I am not on social media anymore, because it is the worst best thing that has happened to humanity. The amount of attention seeking and attempts to esteem ourselves above others is cringeworthy. Ask yourself, am I sharing this story/ experience, because I want people to know what spiritual level I am on? And before you try to lie to yourself, remember that I am Latter Day Saint. I have been on family vacations, and see family wait to post stuff on Monday instead of Sunday so that people do not know they spent a day at the lake on the sabbath. I know you do, I have seen it firsthand lol.





On the contrary I have noticed an ever-growing issue with judging people based off their social media accounts as if someone’s Instagram is a good decider of just how strong someone’s testimony and dedication to the Savior is. My wife has gotten into a bad habit of pointing out outfits that other chicks are wearing and making comments like “wow no way you can wear garments with that dress! Look what Sister Jones wore to this concert, I wonder if she’s even active? Second time this week she has worn an outfit with no G’s.” On the contrary I have noticed an ever-growing issue with judging people based off their social media accounts as if someone’s Instagram is a good decider of just how strong someone’s testimony and dedication to the Savior is. My wife has gotten into a bad habit of pointing out outfits that other chicks are wearing and making comments like “wow no way you can wear garments with that dress! Look what Sister Jones wore to this concert, I wonder if she’s even active? Second time this week she has worn an outfit with no G’s.”





Do you see what she is doing? This is spiritual posturing. She is taking something extremely petty and putting someone beneath herself to make herself feel more spiritual. It is super stupid, because someone can maybe not wear garments to concerts, but also be an extremely active member. Do you see what she is doing? This is spiritual posturing. She is taking something extremely petty and putting someone beneath herself to make herself feel more spiritual. It is super stupid, because someone can maybe not wear garments to concerts, but also be an extremely active member.





My wife wears bikinis Imagine if that same lady saw her in a picture not wearing the Latter Day Saint culturally acceptable one-piece swimsuit, and said, “wow she doesn’t cover up, I wonder if she is even active anymore?” The point is that we take dumb things to try to rank each other spiritually. And most of the time we pick things that we know we do (my wife wearing her G’s all the time) and create an unfair comparison against someone else we know does not do the same thing (chicks that do not wear G’s if it does not go with their outfit), to build up our pride. We do it out of insecurity, because if we weren’t insecure, then we would have no need to put others beneath us. I believe it plays into the easy appearances of being righteous. It is much easier for us to do all the easy things, post about it on FB or talk about it to close ones than it is to consistently do daily personal scripture study, pray, fast, do FHE, ministering, share the gospel etc. which is most likely where the root cause of our insecurity comes from. Plus, Joseph Smith wasn’t even wearing his garments the day he died. He took them off, because it was hot that day. I think I’ll give some random chick on FB a pass. My wife wears bikinis Imagine if that same lady saw her in a picture not wearing the Latter Day Saint culturally acceptable one-piece swimsuit, and said, “wow she doesn’t cover up, I wonder if she is even active anymore?” The point is that we take dumb things to try to rank each other spiritually. And most of the time we pick things that we know we do (my wife wearing her G’s all the time) and create an unfair comparison against someone else we know does not do the same thing (chicks that do not wear G’s if it does not go with their outfit), to build up our pride. We do it out of insecurity, because if we weren’t insecure, then we would have no need to put others beneath us. I believe it plays into the easy appearances of being righteous. It is much easier for us to do all the easy things, post about it on FB or talk about it to close ones than it is to consistently do daily personal scripture study, pray, fast, do FHE, ministering, share the gospel etc. which is most likely where the root cause of our insecurity comes from. Plus, Joseph Smith wasn’t even wearing his garments the day he died. He took them off, because it was hot that day. I think I’ll give some random chick on FB a pass.





The reason spiritual posturing (pride) is bad, is because it alienates people. It hurts feelings. It builds pride which is never a good thing. It is the root of almost everything else I am going to write about. sometimes I believe it might be innate, because of the way the church is structured. We have a very open mic policy, I mean we literally have a meeting once a month people can go up and say what they want. That goes for all our classes and meetings we are a very open mic style religion. I love it. But, I believe this may fuel the fire of us all checking each other’s spirituality level and trying to rank one another even though there never was ranking to begin with. The reason spiritual posturing (pride) is bad, is because it alienates people. It hurts feelings. It builds pride which is never a good thing. It is the root of almost everything else I am going to write about. sometimes I believe it might be innate, because of the way the church is structured. We have a very open mic policy, I mean we literally have a meeting once a month people can go up and say what they want. That goes for all our classes and meetings we are a very open mic style religion. I love it. But, I believe this may fuel the fire of us all checking each other’s spirituality level and trying to rank one another even though there never was ranking to begin with.





It also takes personal preferences and cultural norms and turns them into pseudo doctrine. Rated R movies is a perfect example. It is a piece of Latter Day Saint culture that has been made into some type of pseudo commandment doctrine that coincides with spiritual posturing. How often do we hear this over told story in our wards: It also takes personal preferences and cultural norms and turns them into pseudo doctrine. Rated R movies is a perfect example. It is a piece of Latter Day Saint culture that has been made into some type of pseudo commandment doctrine that coincides with spiritual posturing. How often do we hear this over told story in our wards:





So, even at 28 Satan is trying to tempt me. I went to a friend’s house and they are not Latter Day Saints, and someone was like let’s watch this R rated movie and I was like, “I am sorry that is against my religion. I am Latter Day Saint we do not watch R rated movies. And my friends were like ok we respect that. So, me and my non-Latter Day Saint friends ended up watching the PG-13 movie Titanic. Although I still saw some breast and a steamy (literally) sex scene in a car, it was much better than watching the ever so sinful R rated movie The Kings Speech.” So, even at 28 Satan is trying to tempt me. I went to a friend’s house and they are not Latter Day Saints, and someone was like let’s watch this R rated movie and I was like, “I am sorry that is against my religion. I am Latter Day Saint we do not watch R rated movies. And my friends were like ok we respect that. So, me and my non-Latter Day Saint friends ended up watching the PG-13 movie Titanic. Although I still saw some breast and a steamy (literally) sex scene in a car, it was much better than watching the ever so sinful R rated movie The Kings Speech.”





For those of you doubting, and thinking about how the prophet told us to not watch rated R movies, stop it. Get help. Elder Lynn G. Robbins gave a devotional talk in September 2013 saying: For those of you doubting, and thinking about how the prophet told us to not watch rated R movies, stop it. Get help. Elder Lynn G. Robbins gave a devotional talk in September 2013 saying:

“In 1986 Ezra Taft Benson warned members of the danger of anything ‘R-rated’ or beyond. The members thought he had drawn a line. I know that because I have heard many members of the church say, ‘Oh, we can watch that movie. It’s only a PG-13. The prophet gave us permission.’ They don’t say that last part, but that is what they are thinking, because they thought he posted a speeding limit so to speak.” “In 1986 Ezra Taft Benson warned members of the danger of anything ‘R-rated’ or beyond. The members thought he had drawn a line. I know that because I have heard many members of the church say, ‘Oh, we can watch that movie. It’s only a PG-13. The prophet gave us permission.’ They don’t say that last part, but that is what they are thinking, because they thought he posted a speeding limit so to speak.”





So please stop about R rated movies now, because it does not make you any more a commandment keeping family or individual because you refrain from them. It plays perfectly into our culture of spiritual posturing. We want to do the easy things that give off the appearance of being very righteous, that way we can put ourselves above others that do not follow the same petty pseudo doctrines that we do. Your righteousness is not a competition. So please stop about R rated movies now, because it does not make you any more a commandment keeping family or individual because you refrain from them. It plays perfectly into our culture of spiritual posturing. We want to do the easy things that give off the appearance of being very righteous, that way we can put ourselves above others that do not follow the same petty pseudo doctrines that we do. Your righteousness is not a competition.





Swimsuits for women is another example. Let me get this straight, you are supposed to wear shorts that go to the knees and not show too much leg, but swimsuits you should only wear one pieces, that show your entire legs? How does that work? How is a one piece really that much better than a bikini? Your stomach doesn’t show? It’s legs, breasts, butts, hips, that men like. You will never hear a guy say, “oh boy look at the stomach on that girl!” But for some reason, we have some pseudo doctrine that contradicts itself. Do not show legs and wear awkward knee shorts, but if you are swimming show all of your legs, but no tummy you hussy! Are we seeing how spiritual posturing is happening in our culture? I hope this helped. Swimsuits for women is another example. Let me get this straight, you are supposed to wear shorts that go to the knees and not show too much leg, but swimsuits you should only wear one pieces, that show your entire legs? How does that work? How is a one piece really that much better than a bikini? Your stomach doesn’t show? It’s legs, breasts, butts, hips, that men like. You will never hear a guy say, “oh boy look at the stomach on that girl!” But for some reason, we have some pseudo doctrine that contradicts itself. Do not show legs and wear awkward knee shorts, but if you are swimming show all of your legs, but no tummy you hussy! Are we seeing how spiritual posturing is happening in our culture? I hope this helped.





Let’s stop comparing ourselves to others, and focus on comparing ourselves to Jesus Christ. The more that we work on bettering ourselves, the less we will care about how we measure up to others spiritually.





2. POLITICAL BELIEFS DO NOT EQUAL RELIGIOUS BELIEFS





Political beliefs are separate from religious beliefs. I heard this pretty frequently growing up in a majority conservative stake. If someone was a Democrat they were talked about like they were kinda shady. I know that we have an ever-growing issue in our society where we are starting to equate someone’s political party with their morality, but that should not end up in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We are smarter than this my fellow Saints. Political beliefs are separate from religious beliefs. I heard this pretty frequently growing up in a majority conservative stake. If someone was a Democrat they were talked about like they were kinda shady. I know that we have an ever-growing issue in our society where we are starting to equate someone’s political party with their morality, but that should not end up in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. We are smarter than this my fellow Saints.





I personally believe that abortion is wrong and immoral, and should therefore be illegal. But if I find out another member thinks it should be legal, this does not mean that they think it is moral and encourage it. It simply means that they think their religious/moral beliefs should not infringe upon someone else’s liberties that do not share the same religious/moral views as them. I personally believe that abortion is wrong and immoral, and should therefore be illegal. But if I find out another member thinks it should be legal, this does not mean that they think it is moral and encourage it. It simply means that they think their religious/moral beliefs should not infringe upon someone else’s liberties that do not share the same religious/moral views as them.





A good story about this came from my mission. This is how a conversation of ours went: A good story about this came from my mission. This is how a conversation of ours went:





Him “I don’t know how Democrats are allowed in the temple.”

BlogBoyP “lol what”

Him “in the temple interview it asks “do you have any affiliations with groups that contradict the church? They clearly do.”

BlogBoyP “That is dumb, because nobody can go inside then. We think premarital sex is bad, and teach against it, but do you think an unmarried couple living together should be illegal?”

Him “no”





It is as simple as that. Your political views do not equal your moral, or religious views and they do not have to. If they did, then it would be illegal to drink coffee, alcohol, and watch porn. And the most conservative of the conservative do not believe that coffee should be illegal so chill with the political hate. It is as simple as that. Your political views do not equal your moral, or religious views and they do not have to. If they did, then it would be illegal to drink coffee, alcohol, and watch porn. And the most conservative of the conservative do not believe that coffee should be illegal so chill with the political hate.





3. GOSSIP





Gossiping is when you talk negative about someone. I do it. You do it. We all do it. It is to the level of gossiping that we do it, and what we gossip about that kills me. Once again, I believe that the way that the church is set up that makes it easy to speak negatively about others. Believe it or not, but I hold a calling that gives me the privilege of going to ward council. In all auxiliaries we are taught to reach out to those struggling. In church meetings we do an amazing job of doing constructive gossip also called plans and sincerity to help others out. This is not bad. Gossip is gossip when all you’re doing is talking badly about someone and not actually offering any help or creating a plan to make the situation or behavior better. Gossiping is when you talk negative about someone. I do it. You do it. We all do it. It is to the level of gossiping that we do it, and what we gossip about that kills me. Once again, I believe that the way that the church is set up that makes it easy to speak negatively about others. Believe it or not, but I hold a calling that gives me the privilege of going to ward council. In all auxiliaries we are taught to reach out to those struggling. In church meetings we do an amazing job of doing constructive gossip also called plans and sincerity to help others out. This is not bad. Gossip is gossip when all you’re doing is talking badly about someone and not actually offering any help or creating a plan to make the situation or behavior better.





We speak so freely of everyone, and maybe it breaks off from how easily we talk about others in our auxiliaries. But those are constructive and helpful situations. Speaking about others shortcomings in non-productive scenarios does a lot of harm. It creates feelings of hate, anger, hurt, and boosts your own pride. The main cause of gossip is pride. Many times in high school my own mother knew gossip before I did about my fellow LDS classmates. We speak so freely of everyone, and maybe it breaks off from how easily we talk about others in our auxiliaries. But those are constructive and helpful situations. Speaking about others shortcomings in non-productive scenarios does a lot of harm. It creates feelings of hate, anger, hurt, and boosts your own pride. The main cause of gossip is pride. Many times in high school my own mother knew gossip before I did about my fellow LDS classmates.





We all know people or entire families that have fallen away, because of some comments said about a trait or characteristic of those individuals that is not worth hurting their feelings over. A big side effect is Latter Day Saints being known as gossipy and clicky. My sister in law is a convert and she said that it was extremely hard for her to make friends when she first became a member. She had to first find a group that was willing to open up their posse to her, and then listen to the gossip on other crews in the ward and decide if she even wanted to even be a part of their group of friends anymore. We all know people or entire families that have fallen away, because of some comments said about a trait or characteristic of those individuals that is not worth hurting their feelings over. A big side effect is Latter Day Saints being known as gossipy and clicky. My sister in law is a convert and she said that it was extremely hard for her to make friends when she first became a member. She had to first find a group that was willing to open up their posse to her, and then listen to the gossip on other crews in the ward and decide if she even wanted to even be a part of their group of friends anymore.





It is not worth it. Do not talk badly about others unless speaking of ways to help that individual. It is not worth it. Do not talk badly about others unless speaking of ways to help that individual.





4. JOSEPH SMITH WAS NOT JESUS CHRIST





Much of what I say here comes from institute classes I have taken, and books that I have read. If you doubt me, Google it. Much of what I say here comes from institute classes I have taken, and books that I have read. If you doubt me, Google it.





He came from a regular old American family. His father was a rambunctious party loving man. His mother suffered from a lot of anxiety and depression. His parents were raised on the tail end of Puritan beliefs and cultural upbringings. He took good and bad traits from his parents, siblings, culture and friends like everyone always has. He made mistakes. He had shortcomings. He had weaknesses that he had to battle in his life. But he had the spiritual traits necessary to bring forth the restoration of the gospel. This does not mean that he was perfect. It is bad in The Church of Jesus Christ that we do not speak of Joseph Smith’s failures, because we are turning him into something he is not. This can create doubts about everything else members have been taught about Joseph. Some may think that if something has been kept from them their entire life, then there must be a reason for it… He came from a regular old American family. His father was a rambunctious party loving man. His mother suffered from a lot of anxiety and depression. His parents were raised on the tail end of Puritan beliefs and cultural upbringings. He took good and bad traits from his parents, siblings, culture and friends like everyone always has. He made mistakes. He had shortcomings. He had weaknesses that he had to battle in his life. But he had the spiritual traits necessary to bring forth the restoration of the gospel. This does not mean that he was perfect. It is bad in The Church of Jesus Christ that we do not speak of Joseph Smith’s failures, because we are turning him into something he is not. This can create doubts about everything else members have been taught about Joseph. Some may think that if something has been kept from them their entire life, then there must be a reason for it…





It is a common misconception that if we speak of his failures, mistakes, or weaknesses that we will dehumanize him. This is not a bad thing, because he is human! He was not Jesus Christ, his life should be studied like everyone else’s. Do we not learn from the trials that other prophets faced? Speak of his successes, but learn from his failures. God took his shortcomings and made them strengths. God molded Joseph line upon line, precept upon precept. I read a book about Joseph Smith and the seer stones, and the role they played in the translating of the BOM. The fact that I knew Joseph Smith used seer stones, but not how or when he did is already a problem in its own that I will get to later. It is a common misconception that if we speak of his failures, mistakes, or weaknesses that we will dehumanize him. This is not a bad thing, because he is human! He was not Jesus Christ, his life should be studied like everyone else’s. Do we not learn from the trials that other prophets faced? Speak of his successes, but learn from his failures. God took his shortcomings and made them strengths. God molded Joseph line upon line, precept upon precept. I read a book about Joseph Smith and the seer stones, and the role they played in the translating of the BOM. The fact that I knew Joseph Smith used seer stones, but not how or when he did is already a problem in its own that I will get to later.





Stop treating Joseph Smith like he is Jesus Christ. He is open to critique, and had shortcomings. Stop treating Joseph Smith like he is Jesus Christ. He is open to critique, and had shortcomings.





5.CHILL OUT ON SOCIAL MEDIA





Nobody has ever gotten baptized from your online testimony. Nobody. It might have played a super small factor in someone’s finding the gospel, but in the end, it was going to church, reading the BOM, praying, etc. that lead someone to a their testimony not your FB post. It goes hand in hand with spiritual posturing. Are you really posting this to “#sharegoodness” or are you trying to make yourself look like a better member missionary than you actually are? If you have genuine intent, then I am here to tell you you’re taking the easy way out. Opening your mouth to those around you is your best bet, and you are hiding behind the easy FB and Instagram posts. Also, it is getting excessive and kind of annoying. Nobody has ever gotten baptized from your online testimony. Nobody. It might have played a super small factor in someone’s finding the gospel, but in the end,it was going to church, reading the BOM, praying, etc. that lead someone to a their testimony not your FB post. It goes hand in hand with spiritual posturing. Are you really posting this to “#sharegoodness” or are you trying to make yourself look like a better member missionary than you actually are? If you have genuine intent, then I am here to tell you you’re taking the easy way out. Opening your mouth to those around you is your best bet, and you are hiding behind the easy FB and Instagram posts. Also, it is getting excessive and kind of annoying.





Something that can go along with this is stop trying to get your friends involved in your multi-level marketing pyramid schemes. We do not want to buy wraps, oils, or some shake that is going to magically burn my fat off. If I wanted that, I would go buy it myself. I also have an actual job where I make actual money so why would I want to be in your pyramid scheme. It makes us look like financial fools. Something that can go along with this is stop trying to get your friends involved in your multi-level marketing pyramid schemes. We do not want to buy wraps, oils, or some shake that is going to magically burn my fat off. If I wanted that, I would go buy it myself. I also have an actual job where I make actual money so why would I want to be in your pyramid scheme. It makes us look like financial fools.





6. STOP BEING AFRAID OF NEW THINGS





You’re making us look like a cult sometimes by acting like everything is sent from the devil to bring us into the end of times. I remember when social media first came out my mom and almost every Latter Day Saint mom I knew was talking about how it was a secret place for teenagers to send pornographic materials to one another. I had to make a Myspace behind her back at my cousins house. And now my mom spends more time on FB than anyone I know. You’re making us look like a cult sometimes by acting like everything is sent from the devil to bring us into the end of times. I remember when social media first came out my mom and almost every Latter Day Saint mom I knew was talking about how it was a secret place for teenagers to send pornographic materials to one another. I had to make a Myspace behind her back at my cousins house. And now my mom spends more time on FB than anyone I know.





Or when Yugioh cards were getting popular and I had them in elementary school one day my mom said that I needed to throw them out cause another Relief Society sister had told her they were demonic and they were used them to summon spells and cast demons and stuff. “The characters just look too demonic BlogBoyP.” It’s a card game. Or when Yugioh cards were getting popular and I had them in elementary school one day my mom said that I needed to throw them out cause another Relief Society sister had told her they were demonic and they were used them to summon spells and cast demons and stuff. “The characters just look too demonic BlogBoyP.” It’s a card game.





This makes us look like were a part of some fear mongering cult. This makes us look like were a part of some fear mongering cult.





7. MENTAL HEALTH AND THE GOSPEL





We have created a culture of spiritual self-diagnosis. It is bad because untrained people trying to diagnose spiritual prescriptions almost never pans out. 2015 was an extremely rough year for me. I fell into a depression, and I had it bad. We have created a culture of spiritual self-diagnosis. It is bad because untrained people trying to diagnose spiritual prescriptions almost never pans out. 2015 was an extremely rough year for me. I fell into a depression, and I had it bad.





I would wake up and have no desire to do even the things I loved. I was constantly tired. I had days where I lied in bed. All day. I had days where I only laid there, no thinking. What was the point of getting out of bed anyways, what joy was there to be had in life. I was confused, scared, and numb. I didn’t know what was happening to me. I had never suffered from a mental illness. I was a mess. I failed 3/5 classes I was taking that semester and quit my job. I would wake up and have no desire to do even the things I loved. I was constantly tired. I had days where I lied in bed. All day. I had days where I only laid there, no thinking. What was the point of getting out of bed anyways, what joy was there to be had in life. I was confused, scared, and numb. I didn’t know what was happening to me. I had never suffered from a mental illness. I was a mess. I failed 3/5 classes I was taking that semester and quit my job.





I tried the usual Latter Day Saint remedies. I read the BOM more, prayed that this unknown darkness would be taken away, fasted for joy, and I participated in ward service projects I normally would have not attended. Nothing cured my depression, and word got around of my ailments. I tried the usual Latter Day Saint remedies. I read the BOM more, prayed that this unknown darkness would be taken away, fasted for joy, and I participated in ward service projects I normally would have not attended. Nothing cured my depression, and word got around of my ailments.





It would have been so easy for someone to tell me to see a therapist or psychiatrist. Remember, I have never suffered from something like this, always been a chill fun loving dude. I questioned if I was actually being lazy or actually suffering from something sometimes. I had no idea what was happening to me. It’s in our culture to battle through our trials with faith so why would we not do the same with mental illness? It would have been so easy for someone to tell me to see a therapist or psychiatrist. Remember, I have never suffered from something like this, always been a chill fun loving dude. I questioned if I was actually being lazy or actually suffering from something sometimes. I had no idea what was happening to me. It’s in our culture to battle through our trials with faith so why would we not do the same with mental illness?





I had people telling me, “wow you laid in bed for 24 hours straight no food or water? You didn’t do anything? Well I know for me personally when I am feeling down if I read the BOM it always cheers me right up! BlogBoyP, I bet if you spent that time reading the BOM it will lift you spirits!” I had people telling me, “wow you laid in bed for 24 hours straight no food or water? You didn’t do anything? Well I know for me personally when I am feeling down if I read the BOM it always cheers me right up! BlogBoyP, I bet if you spent that time reading the BOM it will lift you spirits!”





All these spiritual prescriptions people gave me were awful, because I was already trying them, and it only made me feel worse! Why is everyone else having success with these spiritual remedies, but not me? I doubted my faith, it made me feel like less, I am not doing enough, I need to be better, etc. are all thoughts that passed my mind. It can make an already disheartening and difficult time of life even harder by comparing your days of reading the BOM as a pick me up, to someone that is suffering from a legit mental illness. We should instead recommend professional help instead of handing our spiritual prescriptions. All these spiritual prescriptions people gave me were awful, because I was already trying them, and it only made me feel worse! Why is everyone else having success with these spiritual remedies, but not me? I doubted my faith, it made me feel like less, I am not doing enough, I need to be better, etc. are all thoughts that passed my mind. It can make an already disheartening and difficult time of life even harder by comparing your days of reading the BOM as a pick me up, to someone that is suffering from a legit mental illness. We should instead recommend professional help instead of handing our spiritual prescriptions.





I ended up seeing a psychiatrist and one meeting, one freaking hour with this old dude he was able to ask me important questions and find that I had developed anxiety, and that this anxiety was not allowing me to get a full night’s sleep. I was going to bed, but my entire brain was not turning off, because of my anxiety and this was causing parts of my brain to stay awake and interrupt my REM cycles. I ended up seeing a psychiatrist and one meeting, one freaking hour with this old dude he was able to ask me important questions and find that I had developed anxiety, and that this anxiety was not allowing me to get a full night’s sleep. I was going to bed, but my entire brain was not turning off, because of my anxiety and this was causing parts of my brain to stay awake and interrupt my REM cycles.





He prescribed me a sleeping medication, and in 1 month of getting actual full nights rest with my brain completely off I felt like the same person. I was so upset that I listened to untrained professionals try to prescribe me spiritually. This was the first and only time in my life where I felt alienated from church members. Wasted like 8 months of my life. There has got to be people out there where this happened to them or is currently happening right now. Don’t read the BOM, fast, pray, etc. more, go get professional help. He prescribed me a sleeping medication, and in 1 month of getting actual full nights rest with my brain completely off I felt like the same person. I was so upset that I listened to untrained professionals try to prescribe me spiritually. This was the first and only time in my life where I felt alienated from church members. Wasted like 8 months of my life. There has got to be people out there where this happened to them or is currently happening right now. Don’t read the BOM, fast, pray, etc. more, go get professional help.





8. ASKING QUESTIONS IS NOT A LACK OF FAITH





We throw the word “anti” around a lot. Too much. I need to take a moment and call us out on our hypocrisy that we keep labeling “anti-Latter Day Saint.” Everything should be questioned in life. Everything. We are seeking the truth. Joseph Smith was seeking the truth when he was prompted to pray in the sacred grove. We preach the priesthood being restored on the earth when Peter, James, and John appeared to Joseph Smith and gave it to him. This is a keystone to Latter Day Saints being the restored true church. This is the most “anti” doctrine against every Christian church on the planet. Do Lutherans call us anti Lutherans or anti Catholics. What about Baptist are we anti Baptist because we believe that? No. We throw the word “anti” around a lot. Too much. I need to take a moment and call us out on our hypocrisy that we keep labeling “anti-Latter Day Saint.”Everything should be questioned in life. Everything. We are seeking the truth. Joseph Smith was seeking the truth when he was prompted to pray in the sacred grove. We preach the priesthood being restored on the earth when Peter, James, and John appeared to Joseph Smith and gave it to him. This is a keystone to Latter Day Saints being the restored true church. This is the most “anti” doctrine against every Christian church on the planet. Do Lutherans call us anti Lutherans or anti Catholics. What about Baptist are we anti Baptist because we believe that? No.





There exists anti Latter Day Saints and they are people that are actively seeking and taking measures to tear down the Latter Day Saint church. They are a super small group. Someone that leaves the church, because they do not agree with some part of our theology is not a anti Latter Day Saint. Just like how you are not an anti-Muslim, because you do not accept Muhammed as a prophet. Nobody should ever be looked down upon or turned away for asking questions. I have found that when some members bring up controversial questions we are quick to label them as anti-Latter Day Saint. There exists anti Latter Day Saints and they are people that are actively seeking and taking measures to tear down the Latter Day Saint church. They are a super small group. Someone that leaves the church, because they do not agree with some part of our theology is not a anti Latter Day Saint. Just like how you are not an anti-Muslim, because you do not accept Muhammed as a prophet. Nobody should ever be looked down upon or turned away for asking questions. I have found that when some members bring up controversial questions we are quick to label them as anti-Latter Day Saint.





A good example of this is a friend of mine that went to a leader in his ward and asked him, “why do we not teach about Joseph Smith and the seer stones more? Why are we not showing the true manner of how the BOM was translated?” and his leader responded with, “do not concern yourself with anti-Latter Day Saint doctrine and instead focus on reading the BOM.” Which is foolish, because how can Latter Day Saint history be anti-Latter Day Saint literature? It brings forth doubt, anger, and ultimately does NOT HELP with seeking knowledge and developing faith. In fact, it kills faith. A good example of this is a friend of mine that went to a leader in his ward and asked him, “why do we not teach about Joseph Smith and the seer stones more? Why are we not showing the true manner of how the BOM was translated?” and his leader responded with, “do not concern yourself with anti-Latter Day Saint doctrine and instead focus on reading the BOM.” Which is foolish, because how can Latter Day Saint history be anti-Latter Day Saint literature?It brings forth doubt, anger, and ultimately does NOT HELP with seeking knowledge and developing faith. In fact, it kills faith.





My friend left frustrated. This shook his faith, because now he questioned, “what else was fact that he was not allowed to ask about? who could he trust? If they felt a need to not tell us that, then what else have they also not told me?” My friend left frustrated. This shook his faith, because now he questioned, “what else was fact that he was not allowed to ask about? who could he trust? If they felt a need to not tell us that, then what else have they also not told me?”

Do you see all these questions of doubt that kill faith that arose from a simple question?





9. CALLINGS IN THE CHURCH





At times I hear gossip about some members not doing well at their calling. For the most part it is true, and that person isn’t as good as the person before. Remember that gossiping is bad, but talking about someone’s weaknesses and how we can help them in their calling is not. God calls people so that they can grow. Our callings are not only for us to serve others, but also for the person called to gain knew abilities and strengthen weak traits. At times I hear gossip about some members not doing well at their calling. For the most part it is true, and that person isn’t as good as the person before. Remember that gossiping is bad, but talking about someone’s weaknesses and how we can help them in their calling is not. God calls people so that they can grow. Our callings are not only for us to serve others, but also for the person called to gain knew abilities and strengthen weak traits.





Callings are not always about whoever has the best spiritual resume for the job. Patience is key. It is not our place to judge who should go where, but it is our duty to support and help out whatever way we can. Sometimes I believe that pride and envy get in the way of supporting our leaders, because we believe we are better, could do better, or have a desire for their calling. Callings are not always about whoever has the best spiritual resume for the job. Patience is key. It is not our place to judge who should go where, but it is our duty to support and help out whatever way we can. Sometimes I believe that pride and envy get in the way of supporting our leaders, because we believe we are better, could do better, or have a desire for their calling.





We do not know where others are spiritually or what they are dealing with, so why risk it? God does not care where you are. He wants you to stretch yourself. It is about becoming better than your past self. Callings are a part of that. We do not know where others are spiritually or what they are dealing with, so why risk it? God does not care where you are. He wants you to stretch yourself. It is about becoming better than your past self. Callings are a part of that.





10. STIGMAS OF SIN





This one is hard, because even I do not know if it is a good idea. I feel that people do not share their struggles enough. In EQ I sometimes think about the strength I would find in knowing some sins that other brethren have struggled with. I understand why we are hesitant to bring up sins, because some people do not want to dwell on the past, and last thing we need is that one creeper dude going to the pulpit and talking about past struggles with bestiality. This one is hard, because even I do not know if it is a good idea. I feel that people do not share their struggles enough. In EQ I sometimes think about the strength I would find in knowing some sins that other brethren have struggled with. I understand why we are hesitant to bring up sins, because some people do not want to dwell on the past, and last thing we need is that one creeper dude going to the pulpit and talking about past struggles with bestiality.





It’s hard, but a part of me thinks that we do not share our past sins not because we are embarrassed, but because we are afraid we will forever be looked upon as less spiritual or righteous as others. Latter Day Saints are very big about keeping appearances. Could be to a fault, maybe if we were less judgmental and looked at others past struggles as ways to learn and grow together then our meetings could be more tailored to the members present. I remember one time I said I had a big issue with swearing and some members gasped like they’ve never even considered such a thing. I know addiction recovery groups talk openly about their struggles and they find strength in the masses. Just a thought but maybe we could to? But I for sure see where and how it can go wildly wrong. It’s hard, but a part of me thinks that we do not share our past sins not because we are embarrassed, but because we are afraid we will forever be looked upon as less spiritual or righteous as others. Latter Day Saints are very big about keeping appearances. Could be to a fault, maybe if we were less judgmental and looked at others past struggles as ways to learn and grow together then our meetings could be more tailored to the members present. I remember one time I said I had a big issue with swearing and some members gasped like they’ve never even considered such a thing. I know addiction recovery groups talk openly about their struggles and they find strength in the masses. Just a thought but maybe we could to? But I for sure see where and how it can go wildly wrong.





11. STOP TALKING ABOUT FEMALES LIKE THEY'RE EXALTED BEINGS ALREADY





I will attempt to offer both male and female perspective in this. I feel I have some good female perspectives into this as well, and hopefully the sisters will connect with what I am saying. Females have different trials in life. They have different vices. My theory is that females have become looked upon as the “superior spiritual gender” because their sins are typically not as frowned upon.





This affects both the men and women of the church more than we think, especially the YM and YW. For males, this makes them think that they are beneath the females spiritually and morally. I grew up my entire life thinking this way. It was not till I was an adult that I figured out that we both just have different trials. It made me feel like my sexual desires were almost like a curse. Something that God put in to divide the sexes. When we would learn about law of chastity in priest’s quorum I remember being told, “this is something the YW won’t struggle with as much and a righteous daughter of God will help you to stay away from this sin as well.” I have since learned in my relationships that these “YW” can struggle more than I did with the law of chastity. This affects both the men and women of the church more than we think, especially the YM and YW. For males, this makes them think that they are beneath the females spiritually and morally. I grew up my entire life thinking this way. It was not till I was an adult that I figured out that we both just have different trials. It made me feel like my sexual desires were almost like a curse. Something that God put in to divide the sexes. When we would learn about law of chastity in priest’s quorum I remember being told, “this is something the YW won’t struggle with as much and a righteous daughter of God will help you to stay away from this sin as well.” I have since learned in my relationships that these “YW” can struggle more than I did with the law of chastity.





How it affects YW is where it is the worst. Treating and talking about women in the church like they’re perfect puts a lot of unneeded stress on them, and they are women so they already put a lot of pressure on themselves as is. This can result in depression, guilt, prolonged guilt, anxiety, questioning self-worth, and confusion. My wife told me a story that I believe embodies what I am talking about perfectly. How it affects YW is where it is the worst. Treating and talking about women in the church like they’re perfect puts a lot of unneeded stress on them, and they are women so they already put a lot of pressure on themselves as is. This can result in depression, guilt, prolonged guilt, anxiety, questioning self-worth, and confusion. My wife told me a story that I believe embodies what I am talking about perfectly.





When she was in Young Women’s the sister teaching opened the law of chastity/ pornography lesson with this statement, “Now I know none of you struggle with this, but we still need to teach it.” What if one of the girls in that lesson was struggling with pornography? How is this supposed to make her feel? It will alienate her, make her feel like she is less, more upset that she cannot seem to shake some sin that other women are perfectly keeping. This will build even more guilt, and the pressure that she feels as a LDS woman to be sexually pure will be weighing down on her dragging her guilt out even after she has overcome her bad habit. Just please stop teaching the youth that women are perfect. It is not good for anyone. When she was in Young Women’s the sister teaching opened the law of chastity/ pornography lesson with this statement, “Now I know none of you struggle with this, but we still need to teach it.” What if one of the girls in that lesson was struggling with pornography? How is this supposed to make her feel? It will alienate her, make her feel like she is less, more upset that she cannot seem to shake some sin that other women are perfectly keeping. This will build even more guilt, and the pressure that she feels as a LDS woman to be sexually pure will be weighing down on her dragging her guilt out even after she has overcome her bad habit. Just please stop teaching the youth that women are perfect. It is not good for anyone.





12. LATTER DAY SAINT WOMEN DO NOT NEED TO JUMP INTO MOTHERHOOD





I know this is something the older generations primarily struggle with that I am hoping dies down with us. We already have a ton of kids. I am not saying slow down on the kids, all I am saying is that a Latter Day Saint woman should be able to put off having kids until she has accomplished what she wants or is where she wants to be in life. Putting off having kids for a few years to earn a degree, and establish a career is not going to be hurtful to the amount of kids you will have. Obviously, you do what feels right for your family at the time, but the average Latter Day Saint family busts out 3.4 kids (pew research) and that can easily be done from starting at ages 26-30s. There is a woman in my ward that started at 27 and has 5 kids and she still isn’t 40. Only difference is she got to get a degree, work for a bit in something she wants, and then have kids. So now when all her kids are out of the house and in school she can pick up right where she left off. I know this is something the older generations primarily struggle with that I am hoping dies down with us. We already have a ton of kids. I am not saying slow down on the kids, all I am saying is that a Latter Day Saint woman should be able to put off having kids until she has accomplished what she wants or is where she wants to be in life. Putting off having kids for a few years to earn a degree, and establish a career is not going to be hurtful to the amount of kids you will have. Obviously, you do what feels right for your family at the time, but the average Latter Day Saint family busts out 3.4 kids (pew research) and that can easily be done from starting at ages 26-30s.There is a woman in my ward that started at 27 and has 5 kids and she still isn’t 40. Only difference is she got to get a degree, work for a bit in something she wants, and then have kids. So now when all her kids are out of the house and in school she can pick up right where she left off.





I see some of my millennial peers jumping into motherhood. Not that it is bad, but their wife will be like 1-2 years away from graduating and it’s like why now? Just wait another 3 years, let her graduate and work for a bit. God is not sitting there saying hey if you don’t have this kid now I will NEVER give you a chance to have this same kid again. Once again not saying what they are doing is bad, because Latter Day Saints have been doing it since forever and were thriving. The problem I see is that it is encouraged and pressure is put on young couples to go right into parenthood. This affects the mothers deeper than we think. I see some of my millennial peers jumping into motherhood. Not that it is bad, but their wife will be like 1-2 years away from graduating and it’s like why now? Just wait another 3 years, let her graduate and work for a bit. God is not sitting there saying hey if you don’t have this kid now I will NEVER give you a chance to have this same kid again. Once again not saying what they are doing is bad, because Latter Day Saints have been doing it since forever and were thriving. The problem I see is that it is encouraged and pressure is put on young couples to go right into parenthood. This affects the mothers deeper than we think.





I think it is safe to say a decent number of Latter Day Saint women feel unaccomplished in life. I base this solely off of being around Latter Day Saint women when they talk about how much they sacrificed to have their kids. The goals or dreams they had and roads they didn’t go down, because they decided to start a family instead. Our women feel locked down. They see themselves as just mothers at times, and this can cause a lack of fulfillment in life. Our women should be allowed to go to school, pursue their dreams, AND raise the family that they want on their timeline. Imagine Latter Day Saints with even more money too. If the mothers have careers as well this can lead to more happiness, more money, more connections, more resources to do good, and possibly even less divorces. I think it is safe to say a decent number of Latter Day Saint women feel unaccomplished in life. I base this solely off of being around Latter Day Saint women when they talk about how much they sacrificed to have their kids. The goals or dreams they had and roads they didn’t go down, because they decided to start a family instead. Our women feel locked down. They see themselves as just mothers at times, and this can cause a lack of fulfillment in life. Our women should be allowed to go to school, pursue their dreams, AND raise the family that they want on their timeline. Imagine Latter Day Saints with even more money too. If the mothers have careers as well this can lead to more happiness, more money, more connections, more resources to do good, and possibly even less divorces.





What’s crazy is my mom as a member missionary has been the first contact/ huge influencer on 5 people being baptized. 5 people is a ton that’s a freaking good amount for a member in their life. That’s with her being a stay at home mother. Imagine if she was out in the work force, interacted with 10x the amount of people, made so many more non Latter Day Saint friends and connections than she did her whole life instead of being at home with us? I think she could have brought a lot more souls to Christ. We just might be keeping some of our best member missionaries (moms) away from opportunities to share the gospel. What’s crazy is my mom as a member missionary has been the first contact/ huge influencer on 5 people being baptized. 5 people is a ton that’s a freaking good amount for a member in their life. That’s with her being a stay at home mother. Imagine if she was out in the work force, interacted with 10x the amount of people, made so many more non Latter Day Saint friends and connections than she did her whole life instead of being at home with us? I think she could have brought a lot more souls to Christ. We just might be keeping some of our best member missionaries (moms) away from opportunities to share the gospel.





Last point is that fulfilling the commandment to “replenish the earth” is like tithing. God will not reward the woman that had a dozen kids more than the woman that had one. God is not going to punish a woman for finishing her education, pursuing her career, and waiting until she is 30 (or more) to have a kid. But the woman that had a kid at 30 and continues her career will never have to look back at her life like my mother and think, “what could have been” or “I wish I could have done that.” Last point is that fulfilling the commandment to “replenish the earth” is like tithing. God will not reward the woman that had a dozen kids more than the woman that had one. God is not going to punish a woman for finishing her education, pursuing her career, and waiting until she is 30 (or more) to have a kid. But the woman that had a kid at 30 and continues her career will never have to look back at her life like my mother and think, “what could have been” or “I wish I could have done that.”





13. UNCONVENTIONAL SINS TREATED WORSE





We treat different, unconventional, or odd sins as worse. We judge someone even more based on the sin they are committing. Just because someone’s sins are not as common does not give us the excuse to judge them harsher. By making some sins weird it alienates those that struggle with it. Someone already feels bad for sinning, and now they know they’re participating in a sin that is out of the ordinary and feel like something is wrong with them even more.





Homosexuals in the church are the modern-day leper. Leprosy was treated as extremely vile and contagious throughout most of humanity, and is in fact, extremely difficult to contract. “Someone must come in contact by repeated nose and mouth droplets from someone with untreated leprosy” (WebMD). We treat homosexuals as if they are contagious, like their influences will pollute the minds of our younglings. Like everyone struggling through something, they need support and love the most. Leprosy was treated as extremely vile and contagious throughout most of humanity, and is in fact, extremely difficult to contract. “Someone must come in contact by repeated nose and mouth droplets from someone with untreated leprosy” (WebMD). We treat homosexuals as if they are contagious, like their influences will pollute the minds of our younglings. Like everyone struggling through something, they need support and love the most.





Homosexuality is something that many of us know nothing about, and should be cautious with it. The actual practice of it is a sin, but the desires are not. I do not like that it is taboo, and feel that those that struggle with homosexual feelings should be allowed to speak openly about it without the fear of being labeled as a spiritual leper. Gay people are not spiritual lepers. If you associate with someone that has same sex attraction their gayness will not rub off on you and your children. If anything, it would be good to have some inside perspective in case you end up raising a softball player yourself. Homosexuality is something that many of us know nothing about, and should be cautious with it. The actual practice of it is a sin, but the desires are not. I do not like that it is taboo, and feel that those that struggle with homosexual feelings should be allowed to speak openly about it without the fear of being labeled as a spiritual leper. Gay people are not spiritual lepers. If you associate with someone that has same sex attraction their gayness will not rub off on you and your children. If anything, it would be good to have some inside perspective in case you end up raising a softball player yourself.





14. DON’T MAKE UP DOCTRINE





There’s a decent amount of stuff in our doctrine that may not make complete sense yet, or things we do not know. This does not mean that we make stuff up. It is ok to theorize, and put disclaimers on what you say as a thought that you have. There’s a decent amount of stuff in our doctrine that may not make complete sense yet, or things we do not know. This does not mean that we make stuff up. It is ok to theorize, and put disclaimers on what you say as a thought that you have.





One time I asked my mother what was going to happen with all the animals in the second coming and my mom told me that a sister from her Relief Society told her that in the Celestial Kingdom animals would get to choose if they wanted to live with their families or not. This is why it is so important for us to treat our pets well, so they love us and choose to live with us. One time I asked my mother what was going to happen with all the animals in the second coming and my mom told me that a sister from her Relief Society told her that in the Celestial Kingdom animals would get to choose if they wanted to live with their families or not. This is why it is so important for us to treat our pets well, so they love us and choose to live with us.





I believed it for like 3 years until I realized that no GA has ever said that, I have never heard it anywhere else, no scriptures speak about it, and that would mean that animals have some sort of agency to choose. I confronted my mom about it and she still BELIEVES IT TO THIS DAY. Her response is, “why would sister so and so say that if she didn’t know?” This is how dumb doctrine is spread if we do not know the answer to something that is okay. I believed it for like 3 years until I realized that no GA has ever said that, I have never heard it anywhere else, no scriptures speak about it, and that would mean that animals have some sort of agency to choose. I confronted my mom about it and she still BELIEVES IT TO THIS DAY. Her response is, “why would sister so and so say that if she didn’t know?” This is how dumb doctrine is spread if we do not know the answer to something that is okay.





15.STOP WITH THE VICTIM COMPLEX





We were at one time persecuted. We are not now. We are a minority that does extremely well, and it is because we work hard. We are super blessed. We live in the best day and age to live.





We have NOTHING to complain about. We make a ruckus over nothing. We create a Us vs. Them culture. In Third Nephi 1 when Jesus came to the world and the saints were waiting for signs there were groups so bad that they vowed to kill the saints if the signs did not happen. There exist no groups that I know of, that are rounding Latter Day Saints up and killing them these days. The world is good. We have most countries opening up towards religious freedom, economic freedom, freedom in general, etc. Great strides are happening in every industry that benefit us tremendously. Yet we still talk about how persecuted we are, how hard it is, how terrible we have it sometimes, and how wicked the world is getting. We have NOTHING to complain about. We make a ruckus over nothing. We create a Us vs. Them culture. In Third Nephi 1 when Jesus came to the world and the saints were waiting for signs there were groups so bad that they vowed to kill the saints if the signs did not happen. There exist no groups that I know of, that are rounding Latter Day Saints up and killing them these days. The world is good. We have most countries opening up towards religious freedom, economic freedom, freedom in general, etc. Great strides are happening in every industry that benefit us tremendously. Yet we still talk about how persecuted we are, how hard it is, how terrible we have it sometimes, and how wicked the world is getting.





We willingly participate in weird alienation of ourselves from the outside world when we talk about how wicked it is. There’s Latter Day Saints that won’t eat at places because they are bars and have alcohol so close by. We need to understand that people have never been nicer, friendlier, and accepting of others till now. We willingly participate in weird alienation of ourselves from the outside world when we talk about how wicked it is. There’s Latter Day Saints that won’t eat at places because they are bars and have alcohol so close by. We need to understand that people have never been nicer, friendlier, and accepting of others till now.





Up until the last couple years I have always felt a strong Us (Latter Day Saints) vs Them (non-Latter Day Saints) and when I became an adult I realized that non-Latter Day Saints are delightful people they just don’t have the same upbringing as me, so they do not follow the same commandments that I do. But imagine how that can confuse some people thinking why was I told that these people were wicked or bad growing up when some are nicer than the very Latter Day Saints I attend with? Up until the last couple years I have always felt a strong Us (Latter Day Saints) vs Them (non-Latter Day Saints) and when I became an adult I realized that non-Latter Day Saints are delightful people they just don’t have the same upbringing as me, so they do not follow the same commandments that I do. But imagine how that can confuse some people thinking why was I told that these people were wicked or bad growing up when some are nicer than the very Latter Day Saints I attend with?





We do not need to scare our own into thinking the rest of the world is wicked and out to get them. Almost nobody is stalking you waiting for a chance to jump on your testimony and tear it to shreds the first chance they get. We should embrace the blessings that have been brought to us by our Latter Day Saint and non-Latter Day Saint leaders! We do not need to scare our own into thinking the rest of the world is wicked and out to get them. Almost nobody is stalking you waiting for a chance to jump on your testimony and tear it to shreds the first chance they get. We should embrace the blessings that have been brought to us by our Latter Day Saint and non-Latter Day Saint leaders!





16. PLEASE STOP WHINING ABOUT LIFE





I have a couple opinions on this. Our complaining has hit all-time highs. This is bad, because I think that we are so blessed that we forget just how blessed we are. It is becoming a badge of honor in our culture to be having some sort of “big trial” going on that we are trying to get over. I understand everyone is going through different things, but do not let that get in the way of being happy with what you have right now. I have a couple opinions on this. Our complaining has hit all-time highs. This is bad, because I think that we are so blessed that we forget just how blessed we are. It is becoming a badge of honor in our culture to be having some sort of “big trial” going on that we are trying to get over. I understand everyone is going through different things, but do not let that get in the way of being happy with what you have right now.





We hear story after story in Sunday school about people being blessed and we expect blessings 24/7. The really common story I hear is the, “we were super poor in the beginning of our marriage, 3 kids, its Christmas time, and we do not have the money to give our kids Christmas. We prayed and fasted that we could still enjoy Christmas without the presents for the kids. Then one night, a knock on the door… somebody left us a crisp $100 bill and Christmas was saved!” I heard a woman speak in church and she said that she had a friend that had a similar scenario, and she was upset at God, because she got nothing and was left thinking, “where is my money or toys left on the porch story? How come others get those blessings and I do not?” We hear story after story in Sunday school about people being blessed and we expect blessings 24/7. The really common story I hear is the, “we were super poor in the beginning of our marriage, 3 kids, its Christmas time, and we do not have the money to give our kids Christmas. We prayed and fasted that we could still enjoy Christmas without the presents for the kids. Then one night, a knock on the door… somebody left us a crisp $100 bill and Christmas was saved!” I heard a woman speak in church and she said that she had a friend that had a similar scenario, and she was upset at God, because she got nothing and was left thinking, “where is my money or toys left on the porch story? How come others get those blessings and I do not?”





We are akin to associating blessings with free stuff. You have to actually live your life a certain way to have certain outcomes. We think just because we keep the commandments that we are entitled to God’s blessings. You have to work for that joy. You have to work for the happiness or peace that you want. God does not sit atop the heavens with a magic wand waiting to grant your wishes. We are akin to associating blessings with free stuff. You have to actually live your life a certain way to have certain outcomes. We think just because we keep the commandments that we are entitled to God’s blessings. You have to work for that joy. You have to work for the happiness or peace that you want. God does not sit atop the heavens with a magic wand waiting to grant your wishes.





I believe most of this comes from comparing our lives to others. Most of the time we do not know if our life is good or bad, we just know that we have less or more than our neighbors or ward members. I believe most of this comes from comparing our lives to others. Most of the time we do not know if our life is good or bad, we just know that we have less or more than our neighbors or ward members.





Last story on this, but this highlights why it is so important that we erode this “I am in a trial/ a victim of something right now look at me a modern-day pioneer pushing onward,” mentality from our culture. An inactive woman was trying to be reactivated, and they were telling her the blessings that are promised to us when we keep the commandments and how much happier we are in the church. Her teenage daughter responded with, “when I go to church, I almost never hear people talking about joy. It seems there isn’t any joy or happiness. It is always talks of some sort of bad thing happening in someone’s life.” Now obviously this is not always and you will say, well I remember bearing my testimony about how happy I am in the gospel just last testimony meeting, but also think back to just how many people use their testimonies, answers in Sunday school, EQ, or RS as a time to publicly display just how hard their life is right now? It has become a part of our culture I don’t know how it happened. Last story on this, but this highlights why it is so important that we erode this “I am in a trial/ a victim of something right now look at me a modern-day pioneer pushing onward,” mentality from our culture. An inactive woman was trying to be reactivated, and they were telling her the blessings that are promised to us when we keep the commandments and how much happier we are in the church. Her teenage daughter responded with, “when I go to church, I almost never hear people talking about joy. It seems there isn’t any joy or happiness. It is always talks of some sort of bad thing happening in someone’s life.” Now obviously this is not always and you will say, well I remember bearing my testimony about how happy I am in the gospel just last testimony meeting, but also think back to just how many people use their testimonies, answers in Sunday school, EQ, or RS as a time to publicly display just how hard their life is right now? It has become a part of our culture I don’t know how it happened.





17. THE WORD OF WISDOM IS EASY TO FOLLOW HALFWAY





This one will not go over well, and I imagine some people might be offended. I am sorry, I know that your weight is a sensitive subject, but it is only a sensitive subject because of the way that society perceives value of people. A fat person is worth no less than someone super fit. God loves them the same, they have the same potential, and should be treated the same. This does not mean that being overweight should be tolerated. This one will not go over well, and I imagine some people might be offended. I am sorry, I know that your weight is a sensitive subject, but it is only a sensitive subject because of the way that society perceives value of people. A fat person is worth no less than someone super fit. God loves them the same, they have the same potential, and should be treated the same. This does not mean that being overweight should be tolerated.





Just because you don’t drink alcohol, tea, coffee, smoke tobacco, or do drugs does not mean that you are following the WoW. You are doing more harm to your body being overweight than if you had a glass of wine with dinner every night. In D&C 89:11-12 God asks us to exercise “prudence” and that meat is to be eaten “sparingly.” Just because you don’t drink alcohol, tea, coffee, smoke tobacco, or do drugs does not mean that you are following the WoW. You are doing more harm to your body being overweight than if you had a glass of wine with dinner every night. In D&C 89:11-12 God asks us to exercise “prudence” and that meat is to be eaten “sparingly.”





It sounds like God did not intend us to be a fat people, and I see a lot of people not exercising or eating healthy and taking care of their bodies. I just really feel we should address obesity and its growing issue in our religion. There’s a few studies out there that show we are fatter than the national average, and I think we should be a community that practices “prudence” and eats meats “sparingly.” It sounds like God did not intend us to be a fat people, and I see a lot of people not exercising or eating healthy and taking care of their bodies. I just really feel we should address obesity and its growing issue in our religion. There’s a few studies out there that show we are fatter than the national average, and I think we should be a community that practices “prudence” and eats meats “sparingly.”





18. YOUNG MEN AND MISSIONS

Stop putting weird pressure on YM to serve missions. I think that we have been serving missions for so long and so many of us have done it that, we forget just how weird it is to leave our families, friends, luxuries, comforts, life plans, etc. for two whole years. It is extremely difficult. I know that all able-bodied Priesthood holders are called to serve missions, but that does not make someone less for not serving a mission. I believe every YM should serve a mission, but that doesn’t mean every YM should do it. There are things we do that can be off putting.





I recall in my quorums growing up the advisor doing the “who will serve a mission” activity. We would go around the room, in front of their leaders (who know their parents), and their peers and we say yes or no if we are going to serve a mission. Of course everyone will say yes, but I think activities like this do more harm than good. We are 12-17 year old boys, and many do not even know if they have a testimony or want to be Latter Day Saint once they are finally on their own. Now imagine how daunting a 2-year mission sounds. I recall in my quorums growing up the advisor doing the “who will serve a mission” activity. We would go around the room, in front of their leaders (who know their parents), and their peers and we say yes or no if we are going to serve a mission. Of course everyone will say yes, but I think activities like this do more harm than good. We are 12-17 year old boys, and many do not even know if they have a testimony or want to be Latter Day Saint once they are finally on their own. Now imagine how daunting a 2-year mission sounds.





It can make some of the YM that just do not want to serve, but want to be Latter Day Saint, think that there is no place for them to stay because they are supposed to serve a mission. There is no vision for them as an 18-21 year old man in the church without serving a mission. It can make some of the YM that just do not want to serve, but want to be Latter Day Saint, think that there is no place for them to stay because they are supposed to serve a mission. There is no vision for them as an 18-21 year old man in the church without serving a mission.





I want to get this across, if a YM is seeking out the steps to serve, then they’re gonna serve. If someone goes to church, but is not showing any desires to serve a mission, then they don’t want to go. They just don’t want to say it out loud to you out of fear of being labeled as less of a priesthood holder as their peers. Even if you believe that to be true, that does not mean that we should keep shoving mission down their throats. Instead, focus on ways to keep them active and keep them in the gospel. You random men and women in the hallway that are not their parents, bishop, or close friend do not have a deep enough relationship with them to change their mind. I want to get this across, if a YM is seeking out the steps to serve, then they’re gonna serve. If someone goes to church, but is not showing any desires to serve a mission, then they don’t want to go. They just don’t want to say it out loud to you out of fear of being labeled as less of a priesthood holder as their peers. Even if you believe that to be true, that does not mean that we should keep shoving mission down their throats. Instead, focus on ways to keep them active and keep them in the gospel. You random men and women in the hallway that are not their parents, bishop, or close friend do not have a deep enough relationship with them to change their mind.





Last reason why this is bad is that we are sending a lot of unprepared YM (and YW) out to the mission field. I had guys in my mission that for sure should not have been there for whatever reason be it weak mental health, lacked testimony, missed family whatever reason it was, but they developed anxiety or depression on their mission. They were miserable, but could not go home due to social pressure. Now they associate the church, and the members that kept pestering them about a mission, with their woes. Last reason why this is bad is that we are sending a lot of unprepared YM (and YW) out to the mission field. I had guys in my mission that for sure should not have been there for whatever reason be it weak mental health, lacked testimony, missed family whatever reason it was, but they developed anxiety or depression on their mission. They were miserable, but could not go home due to social pressure. Now they associate the church, and the members that kept pestering them about a mission, with their woes.





We always hear those success stories in church of guys saying that they did not have a testimony and went out on a mission and gained one, so we assume that that must happen EVERY time. What we don’t hear are the failures, because they aren’t at church to tell it. The Elders that stay out 2 years and loathe every second, and return home never stepping foot in a church building again. The Elders that came home early due to anxiety and depression that have animosity towards the church and its members. Why would they go back? We always hear those success stories in church of guys saying that they did not have a testimony and went out on a mission and gained one, so we assume that that must happen EVERY time. What we don’t hear are the failures, because they aren’t at church to tell it. The Elders that stay out 2 years and loathe every second, and return home never stepping foot in a church building again. The Elders that came home early due to anxiety and depression that have animosity towards the church and its members. Why would they go back?





I would not want to return either. We only hear the success stories, but forget that forcing people to do things they do not want to, or are not ready for can have negative consequences. Let’s try to motivate YM that do not want to serve missions to stay active in the gospel. I don’t know how, but there is definitely a problem with it. I would not want to return either. We only hear the success stories, but forget that forcing people to do things they do not want to, or are not ready for can have negative consequences. Let’s try to motivate YM that do not want to serve missions to stay active in the gospel. I don’t know how, but there is definitely a problem with it.









19. MOLDING MEMBERS TO FIT THE “NORMAL LATTER DAY SAINT”

I see this frequently happen with new members or recently activated members. They tend to not fit a certain mold, and we think that we need to mold them to a “normal Latter Day Saint”. I also see this with the youth very frequently. If one does not fit a certain mold, then we think we need to take extra measures to mold them to the normal Latter Day Saint youth. I think we should instead celebrate the differences of everyone and embrace the diversity.





One time a new member went up during sacrament meeting and said her testimony is best manifested in song. She sang. I felt uncomfortable, because it was out of the normal testimony setting I was used to. Other members felt the same, and some members even made an effort to teach her what a “testimony” was and that the custom is to not share it via song. Now that I look back, I do not think those members were right to correct her. Her testimony is her testimony, and she comes from a different background. Why not let her share it the way she wants? One time a new member went up during sacrament meeting and said her testimony is best manifested in song. She sang. I felt uncomfortable, because it was out of the normal testimony setting I was used to. Other members felt the same, and some members even made an effort to teach her what a “testimony” was and that the custom is to not share it via song. Now that I look back, I do not think those members were right to correct her. Her testimony is her testimony, and she comes from a different background. Why not let her share it the way she wants?





There is no standard Latter Day Saint that we should all be striving to become. In my YM program, we had some YM that were really into skating. They did not like to go to mutual to do merit badges, do firesides, hear different career options, etc. and that is not a bad thing! They were looked at as rebellious or problematic, because the leaders could not get them to conform to their vanilla Latter Day Saint lifestyle. There is no standard Latter Day Saint that we should all be striving to become. In my YM program, we had some YM that were really into skating. They did not like to go to mutual to do merit badges, do firesides, hear different career options, etc. and that is not a bad thing! They were looked at as rebellious or problematic, because the leaders could not get them to conform to their vanilla Latter Day Saint lifestyle.





Why could the leaders not have done some mutual where they let those YM teach us how to skateboard, or teach us the sport of competitive skateboarding? Cater our lessons and activities to who we are called to serve instead of molding them to a normal Latter Day Saint. I believe it is lazy. We are not challenging ourselves as members. It is easier for us to ask others to change and mold themselves to our desires instead of changing for them. Why could the leaders not have done some mutual where they let those YM teach us how to skateboard, or teach us the sport of competitive skateboarding? Cater our lessons and activities to who we are called to serve instead of molding them to a normal Latter Day Saint. I believe it is lazy. We are not challenging ourselves as members. It is easier for us to ask others to change and mold themselves to our desires instead of changing for them.





Another issue is those that many of those that felt they did not fit the mold (like the skater YM) are not in the church anymore. This is not the reason they left, but certainly not being pressured every week to do something you do not care about would have helped them want to stay more. I think that there are a lot of voices that we are not hearing, because they are too afraid to voice their opinion. What opinions or ideas do we not have that would make everyone feel more included, because we are so quick to stick to the easy and comfortable “normal Latter Day Saint” customs? Another issue is those that many of those that felt they did not fit the mold (like the skater YM) are not in the church anymore. This is not the reason they left, but certainly not being pressured every week to do something you do not care about would have helped them want to stay more. I think that there are a lot of voices that we are not hearing, because they are too afraid to voice their opinion. What opinions or ideas do we not have that would make everyone feel more included, because we are so quick to stick to the easy and comfortable “normal Latter Day Saint” customs?





20. SCIENCE DOES NOT DEBUNK LATTER DAY SAINTISM





Seek out as much knowledge as possible! It should be encouraged to become as educated as possible! He is a God of knowledge. In the end, God does everything through his infinite knowledge. Encourage everyone to seek after it, and question everything. In the end it will bring you closer to Heavenly Father. The more you know, the more you will marvel at his masterpieces all around you and gain an understanding for his strict commandments. Seek out as much knowledge as possible! It should be encouraged to become as educated as possible! He is a God of knowledge. In the end, God does everything through his infinite knowledge. Encourage everyone to seek after it, and question everything. In the end it will bring you closer to Heavenly Father. The more you know, the more you will marvel at his masterpieces all around you and gain an understanding for his strict commandments.





We are not known as a questioning religion even though the prophet of the restoration received his answers from questioning every little thing about every single faith. We are not known as a questioning religion even though the prophet of the restoration received his answers from questioning every little thing about every single faith.





Often times it is through our questioning and seeking that we will find knowledge. A Methodist preacher Wes Walters (bless him), went to Palmyra to find the records from all churches to see if Joseph Smith’s first vision claims could be possible. He finds that there were no historical records of a “spiritual revival” like Joseph Smith said. Often times it is through our questioning and seeking that we will find knowledge. A Methodist preacher Wes Walters (bless him), went to Palmyra to find the records from all churches to see if Joseph Smith’s first vision claims could be possible. He finds that there were no historical records of a “spiritual revival” like Joseph Smith said.





This pushes the church historians to go look into it. They find that it was the county of Vienne about 6 miles away from Smith home where the revival was happening and Smith fam would go sell cake and beer to the religious people there. Vienne road literally ran through his house to the location where the real revival was going on. The most important part is that it pushed us to learn more, and be better members of Christ Restored Church. We still to this day say and are taught Palmyra as being the place of the spiritual revival where Joseph Smith was first inspired to question. This shows that we are not pushing ourselves to study historical and scientifically backed claims. This pushes the church historians to go look into it. They find that it was the county of Vienne about 6 miles away from Smith home where the revival was happening and Smith fam would go sell cake and beer to the religious people there. Vienne road literally ran through his house to the location where the real revival was going on. The most important part is that it pushed us to learn more, and be better members of Christ Restored Church. We still to this day say and are taught Palmyra as being the place of the spiritual revival where Joseph Smith was first inspired to question. This shows that we are not pushing ourselves to study historical and scientifically backed claims.





You may be scared to. Maybe you are afraid that you will find something you do not like. This is a common fear, but the truth is what matters most of all even if it does not fit your narrative. You may not like that there are very little historical records or proof of horses in the Americas pre-Spanish conquistadors. That is ok, that is why you read both sides of the arguments, but are educated on them both. You will learn that Joseph Smith actually translated the plates, and that when he used the word “horse” he was using his modern-day term of horse and they could have actually been using or describing some other kind of animal that they rode upon like the Baird’s tapir (Johnson). You may be scared to. Maybe you are afraid that you will find something you do not like. This is a common fear, but the truth is what matters most of all even if it does not fit your narrative. You may not like that there are very little historical records or proof of horses in the Americas pre-Spanish conquistadors. That is ok, that is why you read both sides of the arguments, but are educated on them both. You will learn that Joseph Smith actually translated the plates, and that when he used the word “horse” he was using his modern-day term of horse and they could have actually been using or describing some other kind of animal that they rode upon like the Baird’s tapir (Johnson).





It will make you more informed. I’m a firm believer that many fall away from the church, because they are already caught up in some sin, but mix that with a lack of knowledge and they are easily off put by simple questions like horses in the Americas. If we encouraged everyone to seek after more knowledge and to embrace science, history, philosophy, etc. then we would be better educated and such simple “anti-Latter Day Saint doctrine” would become nothing more than an afterthought. It will make you more informed. I’m a firm believer that many fall away from the church, because they are already caught up in some sin, but mix that with a lack of knowledge and they are easily off put by simple questions like horses in the Americas. If we encouraged everyone to seek after more knowledge and to embrace science, history, philosophy, etc. then we would be better educated and such simple “anti-Latter Day Saint doctrine” would become nothing more than an afterthought.

21. DO NOT MASTUBATE





We gotta start teaching our sons and daughters not to masturbate. I know of people that say, “I didn’t want to have that conversation with him, and we hoped that he would figure that out on his own.” This is not a good idea, and if you do not teach your children about masturbation then you might as well say the same thing. I was not taught this in my youth either. I guess my parents thought I would just figure it out, and I have spoken with many people about this and almost nobody had a conversation with their parents about this. For a religion that is so focused on combating pornography we fail to eliminate the first step in combatting it.





My argument for this is that we break the law of chastity at a super high rate,