What Does That Weird Goblin Machine Do?

roll d20 What it does

1 dehydrates potions into pills.

2 turns any humanoid race into another humanoid race at random.

3 turns any humanoid race into a goblin.

4 creates harmless cattle of random flavor.

5 attacks as level 10 fighter. ten slicing blade attacks as +3 vorpal blades.

6 spits out a hundred pythons.

7 answers questions about the dungeon/region. just like goblins, they always say the opposite of the truth.

8 demon vending machine.

9 a mechanized exo-skeleton that doubles your strength and defenses, but uses you to its own ends (usually attacks the party). you are not being controlled mentally–just physically.

10 distracts you from a much simpler machine in the room–one that doesn’t even look like a machine, but allows time or planar travel.

11 save at -4 or be charmed into trying to fix it for 1d4 months, sparing no expense to get it home, buy parts, etc. it cannot be fixed.

12 processes corpses into meat products.

13 circumsizes titans.

14 lays large eggs. what hatches?

15 dispenses 10 x d100 killer bees.

16 tells bad jokes constantly.

17 teleconferences with similar machine on far-away planet. 1D4: 1-aliens 2-faeries 3- demons 4-mirror universe versions of yourselves.

18 teleports party to mirror universe where alignments are opposite (and the shaved have beards).

19 mends armor and weapons, then eats them all and melts them down into ingots.