“Negging” is becoming an increasingly common way for men to pick up girls. It involves guys undermining your sense of self worth with subtle or passive insults, so that you’ll desire their approval and be more receptive to their advances. But how do you know if a guy is negging you, or if he just hates you? See if you can tell when to stay and when to walk away from the following pickup lines:

“I like your outfit, but your shoes don’t match.”

This is a clear neg. He draws you in with a compliment and then tears you down with an insult. If you can get a guy to say this to you, congrats! He’s into you!

“No, I don’t like your outfit. Leave me alone.”

Sure, he’s telling you to go away, but look at the subtext. He’s basically saying without you, he’s alone. And nobody wants to be alone. So there you have it: He wants you to stay right there with him! Neg city!

“Let go of my arm!”

Another classic neg. He’s denying you the physical contact you want, which will only make you want it more. If he hated you and really wanted you to let go of his arm, he’d wrench his arm free and run off. The fact that he’s asking instead of taking action … uh yeah, that means he’s into you.

“I’m calling the police!”

Calling the police is a common form of negging. Think about it, contacting the police is a lot of effort; he has to talk to a dispatcher, wait around for the police to show up, file a report, etc. etc. And he’s doing all that for you – a girl he JUST met! If this is how big he goes in the courting process, just imagine what he’ll do once you guys are an official couple!

“This is a restraining order.”

He’s negging you. He is setting up all these roadblocks and hoops for you to jump through in order to be with him. He knows that the harder you have to work for a reward, the more you value that reward. A restraining order is just his way of saying he wants you to like him.

“How did you get in my car?! Get the hell out, you psycho!”

He really like you and he is negging you. When someone hates you they don’t ask how you do the amazing things that you do.

“You are ruining my life. I hate you.”

Okay, this seems pretty clear, but don’t sell yourself short! How many times have you told your best friend you hate her in the heat of an argument? Or your parents? And you love all those people. So it is pretty clear: This guy is playfully saying he loves you. He loves you, girl! That’s so sweet!

Now you’ll be better able to recognize negging when you see it. Whenever a guy throws shade your way, he’s probably just going along with the trend and “negging” you to be cool. Just let it slide and know that deep down, he’s into you!