Chloe

This is so fucked up. All of this is because of me!

I'm not sure I deserve this, sacrificing an entire town just to save my life. I sure as hell don't deserve it any more than my mom, or even my step-dad. But it doesn't matter – even if it did go the other way, I still couldn't have saved Rachel.

I miss Rachel so much it hurts sometimes, but then I see the tiny doe-eyed ray of sunshine that is Max Caulfield by my side, and it hurts a little less. They would have been such good friends; I just know it! I can see the three of us running around the country causing havoc together! Getting in and out of trouble together, traveling together, living together… Loving together….

But Max seems distant. And I can't blame her, really, after all she's been through. She had to make an impossible choice, and she must feel as if it's all on her. She's sacrificed so much just to save me, and apparently so many times… I can't even begin to imagine what it's been like for her. How lonely she must feel inside of her own head.

But she's not alone, and I need to remind her of that.

I try to gauge her state of mind but she seems lost, staring out the window at the passing wreckage. When I see her trying to fake a smile for me, I immediately stop the car. She needs to know I'm here and I'm never letting go. She needs to know she's not alone anymore.

This was definitely the toughest week of my life, after losing my dad. Losing Rachel felt like losing a part of myself, like the world stopped making sense and nothing existed anymore but me and my pain. I was so fortunate to have Max by my side, to pull me back into reality and sooth the pain just as I was starting to lose my grip.

Rachel was my angel, but Max… Max is something else entirely. She's the light at the end of the tunnel, the reason I'm still here – quite literally. But now she needs me.

I put my hand on her shoulder to try and get an in, to let her know I'm here and I'm not going anywhere. She seems relieved and grabs my hand, pulling it closer. I lean towards her and kiss the top of her sweet little head. She's all I have left, and all that is left of me.

We leave Arcadia Bay, for the last time, to whatever may come next.

Max

Everybody always talks about the silence before the storm, but it seems like the silence after it is just as bizarre. As we drive past the destroyed buildings and the wreckage we left in our wake, it's hard not to think that this is all my fault; as if Chloe and I were the hurricane. And in a sense, we were. I wonder if Chloe is thinking the same, but as I look at her all I see is… Chloe.

The silence in the car is deafening.

I don't think she blames me for choosing her, though. Even Chloe, despite all she's been through – doesn't want to die. Or maybe some part of her was hoping for me to choose Arcadia Bay, knowing she'd be with Rachel again? I just hope I'm enough to make up for her.

I lean my head against the window, thinking of the people we left behind. I feel Chloe's gaze fixating upon me, perhaps looking for a smile, or a reaffirming nod. I force a smile as I look back at her, but she sees right through it.

She stops the car and gives me a loving nod. She knows what a huge sacrifice I had to make to stay with her, and that burden must be heavy on her shoulders too. She reaches out to me, putting her hand on my shoulder, as if to share the weight.

It works.

As soon as she touches me, I feel the weight lifting and the darkness around me is expelled. It's still out there though, but instead of just engulfing me – it now engulfs the both of us, and the car is like a protective bubble, protecting us against the world. We're in this together.

I can't help but wonder for a moment - did I make the right decision? I don't know. I don't think I'll ever know. But right or wrong, I made the only choice I possibly could – because having lost her so many times this week over and over again – the only thing I know for sure is that I couldn't go through that again. Never again.

I grab her hand and pull it closer to my heart. I take warmth and comfort in her touch, and I smile – for real this time, to let her know. I want to tell her how much I love her, but sometimes it's easier to say it without words. I know she can hear me even when I say nothing at all.

She leans towards me and kisses the top of my head, and with my eyes closed I just smile at her – glowing with acceptance. I never want her to let me go.

"Another great day in Arcadia Bay", says the sign as we finally leave the town. "Thank you-come again". I know that we won't. Whatever our future holds, it's far away from this place.

This town, it's not my home anymore – she is.