And it came to pass in the days of Justin the Prince, chief ruler of the True North, there arose in the land of Hogtown, a new Pharaoh, born at odds with his city.

Conceived nigh in the hills of Etobicoke, a stingy and tight-fisted outpost on the western suburb of the great city by the lake, Doug Ford shared his father’s name and would borrow the family’s bent toward politics. He also adopted an animus toward the intelligentsia, the elites, the civic architects who created the ethos and culture that made central Toronto the heartbeat of an envious global metropolis.

But to see Doug is to overlook the pudgy pugilist as a political force; for he seems unable to spell “finesse” and is incapable of pronouncing “subtlety.”

Whether by nature or nurture, Doug Jr. embraced the ethic that it is better to punch one’s way out of a corner than backpedal to fight another day.

Thus, long before, the new Pharaoh became king, er, Premier of Ontario, in the dominion that housed Hogtown, the smiling assassin had earned several names, among them, Doug the Thug.

It was he who rode into Hogtown’s city hall for one term with his crack-smoking brother as mayor, and plunged the people’s place into unprecedented chaos and world infamy. The polished half of a diabolical twinning, Doug badmouthed a home for people with autism, called councillors “monkeys” and journalists “pricks,” and proposed to cut city council in half and give the mayor more powers and cut the number of libraries and tear up transit plans and build Coney Island on the waterfront and privatize anything that wasn’t nailed down.

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And wherever the Fords went, chaos and disruption and strife besieged the people. Oh, they were comical, indeed, and fed the American late night TV comedy machine. Embarrassed, city councillors stripped the mayor of his powers because he could not be counted on to show up for work sober and not under the influence of illicit substances, and because of a litany of other indiscretions. Doug railed and seethed.

When his brother Rob took ill, Doug replaced him and sought the people’s vote as mayor.

But the populace of Hogtown would not be punked again.

So the voters chose another Con(servative), a progressive one, more in line with their sensibilities: John Tory.

When the smiling assassin became Pharaoh and casually mentioned to Timid Tory that he might cut city council nearly in half, the mayor should have taken it seriously. The fact that Trusting Tory sounded no alarm and offered citizens no tool to fight the intrusion, except weak words and a proposed non-binding referendum, left opponents with little option but to ask what he knew about the scam.

In the seventh month of the year that a black woman married into the British monarchy, and the world signaled approval as naturally as it scorned the Trump of a U.S. president, the new Pharaoh ascended the throne in such a twisted and bizarre tangle of circumstances only fate could explain.

“A Ford government would return Ontario to a failed past,” one scribe had warned the people, pointing to the first Pharaoh, one Mike Harris, whose very name rekindled emotions best left buried. “Temperamentally unsuited,” another cautioned. A third predicted that Pharaoh Ford would not resist the temptation to inflict harsh measures and Ford-ian restrictions on Hogtown.

The warnings served as an invitation to many across the dominion, especially the Toronto-haters, the jealous citizens always wary of the anything-goes, topsy-turvy, sushi-sucking, maddening mix of grime and grunge and chichi sophisticates in leftist downtown Sodom.

Citizens tired of Liberal party scandals and choking on grouses built up over 15 years or rulers named McGuinty and Wynne grabbed the lifeline. Government-haters and those averse to increasing taxes to pay for things found company and consorts, if not a clan. Perennial trolls of politicians linked up with everyday trolls whose Twitter feeds are populated with posts about elites and leftists and downtown bike-riding pinko environmentalists who wage war on the car.

Now, the new Pharaoh inherited a government that faces serious challenges: 50,000 jobs gone, a rising deficit, the challenge of crafting a budget, a strained health care suystem, unaffordable housing, aging infrastructure and a trade deal with the U.S. and Mexico on the edge of collapse.

Instead of focusing on addressing them, the boss reached all the way down to Hogtown to meddle in its local business.

Call it unfinished business.

He targeted the petty issue of how many councillors the people could elect. Worse, he moved without any consultation or prior warning, cutting the number almost in half. Worse, he changed the rules in the middle of an election. Worse still, when a judge ruled that he was wrong in doing so, the Pharaoh doubled down and used a rarely used consitutional power to override the judge for a purpose it was never intended. Worse even than that, he promised to do it again whenever his political designs are thwarted by the courts — challenging the very system of laws established to govern the people.

The action seemed so extreme for so small a goal.

Who is preoccupied with cutting the number of Toronto councillors to 25 from 47?

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And why?

About 20 years ago, when the first Pharaoh amalgamated six cities into one Toronto, 107 councillors were cut to 56. Last election we had 44.

Why the urgency to reduce it further? And only in Hogtown, when almost all of Ontario towns and cities have more councillors per population than Toronto?

Dissembler Doug borrowed from the Trump playbook and staunchly claimed what was demonstrably false: that no transit is being built, infrastructure is stalled and Toronto council is the most dysfunctional in Canada.

The Spadina subway extension opened in December. The Eglinton Crosstown is clearly under construction. And the Scarborough Subway plans are pushing along.

Indeed, the biggest slowdown of transit plans occurred when the Fords arrived at city hall and tore up the comprehensive Transit City plan.

But there is a method to the madness; the Ford plan that got defeated at city council is now being resurrected from the province and there is no council with the power to stop it. With more disruption to come.

In ruling Ford’s move illegal, Justice Edward Belobaba tried, declaring the obvious: that Ford’s actions reflected one of “pique over principle.”

Pharaoh Pique ploughs ahead, notwithstanding. Mission accomplished.

And, once again, the bully tactics prove effective as the ones holding the checks and balances are cowered into silence or bludgeoned into obeisance.

So complete is the coup, so utterly defeated the home side, that Thursday’s final emergency gathering of Toronto council was more akin to a wake than an awakening.

When Mayor John Tory finally rose to his feet, the final speaker, and delivered dross and pap that could elevate not a single decibel much less the level of debate, the abject capitulation was complete.

Pity poor Hogtown!

Under Doug Ford rule, ravaged and undefended.

Selah!

Chapter 2: Where’s the fight?

Royson James is a former Star reporter who is a current freelance columnist based in Toronto. Follow him on Twitter: @roysonjames

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