It can be challenging to be both a man and a feminist. Not because feminism is hard, but because a lot of people don’t understand it. Society doesn't know how to accept feminism, but we need it.

As a father of a daughter, being a feminist came somewhat naturally and from my perspective, it seemed like a requirement for effective parenting. I also have twin boys and they need a father who respects and promotes equality for women just as much as my daughter. In fact, the world just needs men that are feminists.

We need to establish a healthy perspective on what feminism really is.

The term feminist has become polarizing for many people(mostly men) and it would be wise to revisit what it really means. To do that, there are a few things that need to be set straight.

What feminism is:

Feminism is advocating for women’s rights based on equality of the sexes. Is this so extreme? Nope. This is just simple equality for everyone. It shouldn’t be that complicated. What kind of ass wants women to be less important than men? Oh yeah… these guys: Leaders of most societies throughout history, power-hungry men around the world, most god based ideologies and religions, etc…

What feminism is not:

Feminism is not an attack on men. Chill out, men. Women didn’t do anything to you. It is actually the opposite. Women have been treated as a lesser human for as long as anyone can remember and it’s not okay. So just stop pretending that someone is squeezing your balls by wanting equality. Lose the toxicity and recognize that this about human rights.

A reminder:

Feminism does not mean you are feminine, just by definition. In fact, being a woman does not mean that you have to be feminine at all. Just as being a man does not mean you are automatically masculine.

Feminism is just a word to describe believing in women's rights. We say feminism because using the word humanism leaves space for people to forget about women. You can’t forget women while using a word that’s root is femina(Latin meaning woman).

A history of Femina

Our culture has made men uncomfortable with powerful women. We teach throughout our society that men should be strong and women should be gentle. This archaic mode of thinking has been proven wrong over and over, however people still ignore it.

In ancient unrecorded history, at the beginning of humanity itself, men were most often the ones doing things we consider masculine and that has continued to the present. Or at least that is how we are taught. This perspective has been propagated by male-led society. It emphasizes the man and ignores why women were not out, “muscling it up” with the guys.

The reason women didn’t hunt, fight, or do most of the hard manual labor is that they had a much more important and physically demanding occupation. Childbearing. Honestly, men most likely did things considered masculine because it was the only job left. Women had their hands full surviving birth and then feeding and raising children and so men had to start running things.

In other words, “Mama’s pregnant and she got a craving, go kill me a f*cking mammoth”. Women were not less strong or less able to do “manly” things, they were just to busy doing the rest of what life dished out. This does not mean that what men did was not important, but history should be presented as facts of how life worked not how men perceived it.

How we teach people to think can establish a foundation for prejudice and inequality.

This is the story of modern history. Men have led the world for most of modern history with the occasional footnote of a particularly strong woman(i.e. Joan of Arc, Cleopatra, and a few British queens) and most of them were killed for their infamy.

Inequalities continued

The reason strong women unnerve so many men is that they are taught to believe that women are supposed to be quiet and caring. They have been culturally labeled as the “gentler” sex. So when a woman expresses an opinion or has the audacity to feel strongly about anything, people treat her like she is being aggressive or combative.

We need men that are comfortable with women who are stronger than men because it happens every day. And they don’t have to be the latest blockbuster movie character to be strong. Those women are often portrayed to attract men that want a “powerful” or “mysterious” woman.

But these characters tend to lack a foundation in reality and men end up missing out on real strong and mysterious women. Not every woman is going to be a part god or gifted with alien abilities. But women are supposed to be strong, powerful, and independent, without having to be a superhero or have a man to back them up.

We have to remove stereotypes that hold power over our identities.

When we presume characteristics on each other we limit our ability to understand and we promote ignorance. We need to reestablish what the roles of women and men are. Because they are equal, okay well not quite. Women are still the only way to continue the human race.

So women win. If all men died, I give women a couple of months and they would find a way to keep the species going without men. We need equality, for women. We will be a better world for it.

So, yes, I can be a feminist and a man. We all need feminist values.