Editors Note: This article was supposed to be posted on the Falcoholic blog during the day of April foolery, but apparently, they “forgot it.” How convenient. No... I have it on good authority that it was just too much for them to handle. It was just too scathing... too hot. The flames would have literally sent their entire populace flocking to the Atlanta area burn units, and they just couldn’t put their fans through that. No. Not again. Bless em.

Today on this glorious Easter Sunday, I thought it would be a perfect time to talk about Cam Newton, our franchise savior that rose us from the dead of a 2-14 year piloted by the likes of Jimmy Clausen, Tony Pike, Matt Moore, and Brian St. Pierre. It’s a perfect day to talk about why he is the best quarterback in the NFC South, and why that is going to be the case for many more seasons.

In the interest of being fair, I also thought I should include some things that make him not so great, though I could not think of very many. So without further dudes, here we go:

28 reasons why Cam is the best

1. He’s the most successful quarterback in history in terms of rushing touchdowns (54) and has many more years ahead. The NFC South has never seen anything like him... certainly not in Tampa Bay, or New Orleans. Atlanta... maybe... before “the troubles.”

2. Unlike certain other quarterbacks, he loves dogs, and works extensively with the humane society to help abused animals find homes.

3. Speaking of his charity work, no one does more for kids than Cam.

4. He even gives his kids awful names so you don’t have to!

5. Back to the field, not only is he a great quarterback, he’s also a power back

6. Cam is the most successful rookie QB of all time with 4,784 combined yards and 35 touchdowns.

7. He’s a pescatarian, and never drinks sweetened beverages, especially not Coca-Cola.

8. He’s behind only Peyton Manning (30,062) on the all-time list of total yardage gained in his first 7 seasons with 29,224 yards. He passed Matt Ryan’s third place total of 28,866 this past season.

9. He’s the sole leader in combined yards in his first five seasons with 21,560.

10. He achieved this amazing accolade despite never really having a legitimate #1 wide receiver, like a Julio Jones.

11. He can also beat you with speed and elusiveness.

12. Single handedly brought the read option offense to the NFL and had it actually work (and it still does)

13. But before you think he is “just a running QB” you should see his arm literally slow down time.

14. Regardless of his loud personality, is very humble about his charity work off the field. Often spotted off camera buying meals and coats for the homeless and spending time talking to them to lift their spirits.

15. Will wear literally anything to a post-game press conference, so there is never a dull moment!

16. He’s never crapped his pants on live TV.

17. Even Bobby Petrino wants to coach him.

18. Never dated a girl from TLC that then burned his house down.

19. His celebrations are Ludacrisly good. He may ACT A FOOL but the Dab took over the WHOLE WORRRLLLDDDDD.

20. Doesn’t do coach speak, which is refreshing.

21. Very faithful to his girlfriend and children. No risk at all of a Eugene Robinson situation!

22. He currently has the NFL record for most games in NFL history with both a passing and rushing touchdown at 32 games.

23. First quarterback in NFL history to rush for 100+ yards and pass for 300+ yards with 5 touchdowns in a single game (December 20, 2015)

24. Rumored to have been the first person to shake Dontari Poe’s hand when he arrived in Carolina earlier this offseason

25. First Starting quarterback to win the NFC South in consecutive seasons (2013-2015)

26. Loves showing off for his home Atlanta crowd by always having some of his best career games in their various domes.

27. On a cheap contract (by QB standards) and not retiring anytime soon.

28. Let me repeat… he will be playing Atlanta a lot more times before you never see him again.

3 reasons why Cam is not the best

1. Has had to overcome a culture of losing imprinted on him by growing up in Atlanta. Forced to watch the all-time third worst team in the NFL by win percentage (.443), the Atlanta Falcons, never achieve anything of note. Also having watched the Atlanta Braves go to a whole bunch of World Series until they finally won one certainly affected him in his first Super Bowl.

2. If Cam could have gotten Chick-Fil-A on Sundays growing up, he would have had the protein necessary to be even bigger, stronger, faster, and more dominant.

3. Once nearly blew a 25+ point lead in a playoff game against Seattle… but ultimately did not. Still… it made us doubt him… once.