One of the drawbacks of the World’s Best Porridge Recipe for those purposes is that it’s slightly chewy, which is part of the charm.



Having experimented with porridge recipes for years now, this one sort of came together in a bunch of “what if I tried…"s that actually worked.



You need two kinds of oats for it to work. Normal rolled oats (not instant oats), and also steel-cut oats (I use McCanns but I’m sure any brand would do).



(Okay. It’s not Healthy, though. Or Sensible. I feel like I ought to mention that. It’s the sort of porridge I’d break out to impress guests with, rather than eat every morning.)



Begin with a saucepan. Take a generous couple of tablespoonfuls of butter, and melt them in the saucepan over a low light.



Add about a tablespoonful of McCann’s Steel Cut Oats. Let it start to cook in the butter. Add about three-quarters of a cupful of normal rolled oats, and a little less than half a teaspoon of coarse seasalt. Let it all cook in the butter, on a low heat, stirring it around a bit with a wooden spoon. Don’t let it burn. Pretty soon, everything will start to smell like oatmeal cookies, and the oats will be browning well, and will have absorbed all the butter, and people will be saying "That smells nice, are you cooking something?” (If it goes black and people ask if they should open the windows, you let it burn. Start again.)



At this point add a couple of cups of boiling water. Bring it back to the boil and “spirtle” (stir vigorously). Let it cook for about ten minutes over a medium to low heat, stirring whenever you remember. Somewhere in there I normally add a little more water, and as it thickens at the end, I stir more.



After about ten minutes, it’ll be done. Put it into a bowl. Drizzle real maple syrup on. Pour thick cream over that. Put spoon in. Eat.



(I suppose the maple syrup can be replaced with sugar or honey or no sweetener at all. The steel cut oats add some texture to the whole. The frying the oats gently in butter is there to make you feel guilty and seems to make the whole thing work.)