Dear important scientist Tim Berners-Lee: Thank you for inventing the World Wide Web 20 years ago. It's really great and stuff! But were you aware of the crimes committed in your name?

Not that we blame Berners-Lee for these things ... okay, okay, we do. The 20 worst things about the World Wide Web:

1. Julia Allison

2. Twitter

3. Jason Calacanis

4. Wikipedia

5. Henry Blodget

6. Dave Winer

7. Blogs

8. Dead newspapers everywhere

9. Congressman Jared Polis

10. Robert Scoble

11. The Pets.com sock puppet, and Michael Ian Black's subsequent career

12. Digg

13. Perez Hilton

14. /b/

15. Wikipedia founder Jimmy Wales's love life

16. Oversharing

17. Mark Zuckerberg

18. Chris Crocker

19. Internet commenters

20. Kevin Rose

We realize they weren't in your original spec, Timbo, but you should have anticipated them. Really.