You’re responding to an abuse survivor who used to be in kink himself you condescending ass, just like a lot of people in the anti-kink community. It’s absolutely disgusting to reduce that down to “purity culture”.

Porn IS reality. The abuse isn’t CGI, real people are going through it and when you watch porn you are seeing those acts become normalised. Kink is reality too. The bedroom isn’t magically detached from the rest of the world. When you slap your partner you get used to the action, to physically making it happen, to seeing that maybe it’s not as bad as people always told you after all. That automatically makes it far, far easier to slap your partner when you’re lashing out in anger, not to mention that violence already isn’t okay just because it’s consented to.