As I read through this book, I wrote out some of my thoughts at the end of each day or so. I figured that rather than deleting all of that and writing out a review that says, basically, the exact same thing, I'd just leave it as is. But first, let us pray.



Oh God, the Eternal Father. Hallowed be thy name. Etc. etc. etc. Please forgive thy unworthy son for the Star Trek reference he is about to make, because it will be quite stupid, and likely cause many an eye undue strain from excessive rolling.

As I read through this book, I wrote out some of my thoughts at the end of each day or so. I figured that rather than deleting all of that and writing out a review that says, basically, the exact same thing, I'd just leave it as is. But first, let us pray.



Oh God, the Eternal Father. Hallowed be thy name. Etc. etc. etc. Please forgive thy unworthy son for the Star Trek reference he is about to make, because it will be quite stupid, and likely cause many an eye undue strain from excessive rolling.



Amen.



Ahem...



It's dead, Jim.





I've had a few people complain that my whole journal-esque way of writing this review is too long winded. So here's a summary up front. Boring. Bland, unlikable characters. Whimsical idea crammed down our throats to no point or purpose and never fucking goes away or shuts the hell up. Not enough exposition, making the book confusing at many times. Little motivation for generally anything happening is given. Many things simply happen "because reasons" without real explanation or foundation in the story. Did I mention unlikable, bland characters? Because holy shit, each and every character in this book is either about as interesting as a beige wall, or a completely insufferable asshole. There's little to pull you into the story, and even less to keep you interested if you manage to drag your way in. Would not recommend, even to steampunk fans. Certainly will not continue with the next book.



15% through. I really hate to say this about a book written by Jim Butcher, because he's one of my favorite authors, but this one is kinda not all that great starting out. I'm not really all that far into it, and I'm desperately hoping it gets better, but for the moment, it's like rereading every steampunk book I've ever read before, with a pretty uninspired coming of age story tacked onto it. There are some interesting worldbuilding ideas here, and I can see potential in the world this book takes place in, but the story is really generic so far, the characters are kind of generic, and for the love of god, can we please stop having chapters from the point of view of the freaking cat please!?!?! It's well written, at least, which is more than I can say about the last steampunk book I picked up, but I can't help thinking how much more I'd be enjoying the next Dresden book right now. I sure do hope this book picks up some speed soon.







30% through. Getting better, but still a little meh. Action scene is over, and now we're back to more bland dialog. Seriously, these people sit around and talk to each other more than the chicks on the freaking View. And seriously, am I the only one on earth that is extremely annoyed by the cats? I kinda hate the entire idea of them. But then, I tend to think some rather not nice things about people who spend their free time doing little else but watching cat videos. I don't get the fascination so many people have with cats, and seriously, in my opinion, the cats in this book are ruining what would, otherwise be a tolerably well put together world. I just don't get cat people.







55% through. Over halfway done now... and I think I just need to come out and say it. There's really no hiding from it anymore. It's time to be honest with myself. I kinda hate this book. I so wanted to love it, but... It's boring. It's bland. It's generic to a startling degree from an author who has always been so original in his work. There's not enough exposition so a lot of it is confusing. The characters are all either completely unlikable, like Gwen, and pretty much every single fucking cat, or utterly bland and without much in the way of personality like pretty much everyone else.



And oh my god, the cats. Just make them go away. I hate them so freaking much. Without them, this book would have been readable, but somewhat forgettably meh. But instead, these stupid friggen cats make the book a CHORE to read through. The entire idea of them is just so stupid that it hurts. And every single cat is a terrible, completely unlikable asshole on top of it... kinda like real cats, now that I think about it, but still. I mean, if Butcher had done it for comedic purposes, it might have worked. If I could tell that the author was kinda winking at me through all of this crap, it wouldn't be so bad. But it is played out with complete seriousness, and I absolutely hate it. This is stupid. It's boring. It's incredibly lame, and it completely ruins a book that would have, otherwise, been not great, but okay at least. They just keep coming back. Just when you think you're rid of them for a bit, there they are, ruining the damn story again. And the sheer number of chapters from the point of view of one of them is just ridiculous. When laying in bed and staring at the ceiling is actually more entertaining than your book is, there's a bit of a problem.



Sorry Jim. You know I love ya. I absolutely love the Dresden Files. I thought Codex Alera was a pretty decent and underappreciated YA fantasy series. But man, this book... is more than a little terrible. I want to finish it out of loyalty to the author, but it's going to be in audio form at 2x speed, and after I finish Brandon Sanderson's new Mistborn book, which comes out tomorrow. I doubt I'll continue with this series into future volumes. Like I said, the world has potential, but Butcher seems content not to even try reaching for it, and, well, I'd rather read something that is less bland and confusing and more fun and entertaining.



The really sad thing is that with a few simple changes this book could be GREAT. Less cats (preferably 0, but I'd settle for them not be so fucking central to the plot with so many viewpoint chapters), and a wise-cracking Dresden-esque type character. You know, someone that actually has a personality, unlike 90% of the soulless drones in this book, who can make the looooooooong boring stretches of dialog entertaining. Seriously, with those two things, this book would go from the 2 stars it's looking like to me at the moment, to around 4 stars. But as it is, I friggen hate the cats, and every time they are there it grates on me hard, and all of the characters are just so bland and unlikeable. Those are my two major complaints. I could easily swallow the generic, slow and boring plot as set up for later books if not for those two complaints. I mean, take a look at A Game of Thrones. The entire book is nothing but setup, but there are no objectionably horrible plot devices like the cats, and a good many of the cast of characters have a lot of personality and, if they're not really good people, you can at least sympathize with them, and root for them when the story is being told from their point of view. There aren't any characters like that in this book. I either hate them, or I don't care about them. And when you don't like, or don't care about the characters in a book, it makes it very hard to become invested emotionally in the story, and in the world it's taking place in, because tension and drama come from caring about the characters, having an emotional connection to them, and genuinely wanting to see them succeed. Without likable, or at least sympathetic characters, there's no point in even telling a story to begin with, because without them, there's no way for a reader to be emotionally invested in what's happening.







60% done and switching to Mistborn: Shadows of Self by Brandon Sanderson. I can't take much more of this one right now, maybe after I've finished another book I can come back and finish it.







60% still. Seriously. Go read Shadows of Self instead of this book, it's far better, and far more entertaining than this soulless, boring, and aggravating mess of stupid and annoying. I hate to snipe people away from one favorite author by telling them to patronize another favorite author instead, but man, this book is terrible, and Brandon Sanderson produced something that is SOOOOOOO much better than it, that there's really no comparison at all.







70% done. Back to the drudgery after the awesomeness that was Shadows of Self. I am literally beating my head against the wall with this book. There's just nothing in here to enjoy at all. There's not enough exposition for the world itself to really shine, the characters are just so unlikable or lacking in anything resembling personality, and the cats... just stop it with the damn cats already!!! I don't know if I'm going to be able to force myself to read much more than this. I don't understand all of the glowing praise this book is getting from goodreads members. There's nothing in this book to enjoy, like at all. I mean, I just read an action scene, and I was bored out of my mind with it. Why? Because I don't care about, or don't like, any of the characters participating in it. The characters are just awful, and when the characters are awful, anything happening to or around them is boring, because you don't care what happens to them. And when you don't care what happens to the characters, what's the point of an action scene except to stall the already dragging plot with a bunch of nothing interesting going on. I would hate to abandon this one unfinished. Up to this point I've read and enjoyed every published work of Jim Butcher. I want to show my loyalty to the author by reading all of his books, because he really is one of my favorites, but man, he's not making it easy with this book. I mean, I'm the guy who is CONSTANTLY defending Butcher with Harry Dresden's recent downward spiral into darkness and depression, and even I can't find anything good to say about The Aeronaut's Windlass.







85% done now, almost freaking there!!! Okay, let me give you a little example of how really contrived the importance of the cats is to the story of this book. Yes, I'm still complaining about this. It is literally ruining the entire book for me. Two characters go off to meet with a tribe of cats because reasons. And yes, that is literally the actual reason they go to talk to the cats in the story, because reasons. And they get exactly nothing out of the encounter except several chapters about the cats, and being separated from the group so that they can be captured later. This feels EXTREMELY forced to me. It feels like the author really wanted the cats to be important to the plot... and then couldn't think of any real reason why they should be. He's clearly proud of them, and really wants them to play a big part in the story, but he doesn't really seem to know what that part should be, or why anyone should give half a damn about them. Which is an excellent reason why they shouldn't be in the book at all, because the author himself doesn't seem to know why they exist or what purpose they should serve. They're literally just there, taking up space, doing absolutely nothing important to the plot whatsoever, and each and every one of them is a completely insufferable asshole on top of it, which makes them even more unlikable to me.



I understand the desire to add something whimsical to the story... but if you're going to take up SO FREAKING MUCH of the book talking about your whimsical idea, it damn well better have a real reason in the story to exist. At this point, it does not, and I'm almost done with the book. I really don't see this horrible idea paying off in any meaningful way in the pages that I have left. Whimsy is fine, but if you're going to shove it down the throats of your readers like this, there's got to be an actual point to it.



And no, I do not count the cats showing up later to fight the silk weavers as an actual point, because none of the characters would have been in this situation to begin with without sending those first two characters to meet with the cats in the first place. You see why I call this forced? You send people to the cats for no reason at all, they are captured while returning, which leads to a situation where the cats have to come and help fight. Okay... that still leaves the question of why they even bothered going to the cats in the first place, and still artificially forces the great importance the author keeps attributing to the cats into the story for no real reason at all. The characters had no real reason to visit them in the first place, and the cats only became important to the climax of the book because they did. Do you see why I hate them so much? It's because they don't have a reason to exist, and the author keeps trying to pretend that they do.







90% done... BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORING!!!! Is this supposed to be exciting? I mean, I assume I'm somewhere in the middle of the climax. Wait, sorry, I meant to say "climax". Things are happening, I guess. People are doing stuff. Talking cats exist for no actual reason, and the author keeps cramming them down our throats as if they're somehow important, yet completely fails to show or explain why. And me, I'm sitting here scratching my head and wondering why they're doing anything, and why the author expects me to care. If this wasn't like the EXACT same crap that happens in like EVERY SINGLE OTHER STEAMPUNK BOOK ON EARTH, and if I gave half a damn about any of the characters... no, I think it would still be boring as hell. Did Jim Butcher REALLY write this book? Or was it just his evil twin, trying to destroy his career... because this is one of those books that could very likely send a pretty large chunk of his readership looking elsewhere for entertainment once Dresden finishes up. I mean, if this is what I can expect out of him once the Dresden Files ends, I don't really see myself sticking with him until he finds something more interesting to write. At least Gwen kept her stupid mouth shut for a few chapters. There were a few chapters there with no Gwen and no cats, and they weren't all that bad... but then Gwen came back, and that whole idiocy with the cats coming to the rescue happened, and it went back down from meh to horrible again. You know what, if the bad guys killed Gwen, Rowl and a bunch of the cats, this book would get considerably better... unfortunately I'm almost done, and I doubt that's going to happen. I'm just going to pretend that once I've finished it, there's another line that the author forgot to write, "and then a giant meteor fell out of the sky and obliterated all life on whatever planet this is supposed to be taking place on." Ahhhh, what a happy ending that would be.







95% done. I tried so hard to finish this book today, but I literally could not force myself to read the last 30 pages. I just couldn't do it. It was boring me to tears. I had to take a break and promise myself I'd just get it over with tomorrow.







100% done. Okay, this book did get SLIGHTLY better once the airship chase started, because there was only one cat and he was keeping his stupid mouth shut, but it wasn't really enough to really excite me, or make me want to ever pick up another book of this series again.







Final Verdict. 1 star. I was leaning toward two, until that ridiculously stupid and completely contrived battle in which hte cats had to show up to save the day, even though they wouldn't have had to in the first place if no one had gone to visit them because reasons. There are, pretty much only two characters in this book, a completely arrogant asshole, and a bland drone without any personality that just says lines every now and then when the author needs someone to talk. These two characters are copied a dozen or so times, given different names, genders and jobs, but they're all basically the exact same character. The characterization in this book is pathetic, and from an author of Jim Butcher's caliber, I expected more. Basically, the entire cast of characters is completely boring, or completely unbearable. There is not enough exposition given to make the world and the story taking place within it make real sense. You're expected to take a whole lot of things on faith, and a whole lot of things just seem to happen because reasons. This leads to the plot not really holding together well, and the world it's taking place in being far too vague, and often confusing. Most of the action scenes are pretty generic, and rather boring, because I had no real connection with any of the characters at all. I was actively rooting for some of them to be killed because I hated them so much. I was not so lucky. This all made for a very boring, and highly frustrating reading experience, and I very much doubt I will continue on with the series when Butcher gets around to publishing future volumes. There are some decent ideas in here, but they weren't delved into or developed enough for them to really make much of a difference on my opinion of the book as a whole. There is potential for a decent story here, but a lot of the cast has got to go, or actually develop some sort of personality, and the author needs to start explaining things a little better than he has. When "Because reasons" is used to explain something about 80 times in the book, it might be time to go back and rethink the entire thing, and maybe plot things out just a little bit better. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, really, not even fans of the steampunk genre, because as steampunk books go, you've probably already read it before, and with better characters, and in a far less vaguely described world. All in all, I thought this book was utterly terrible, bordering on unreadable. I love ya, Jim, but I ain't gonna lie to ya either. This one just wasn't for me, and I don't really understand all of the wonderful reviews other people are posting about it. It's almost as if they read a completely different book than the one I read, or didn't bother reading it at all before posting a review of it. It's probably the worst book I've made it all the way to the end of since the Author's Definitive Edition of The Unremembered.



This one was a pretty big dud. I suppose that after 15 excellent Dresden books, and 6 decent Codex Alera books, and numerous short stories, Butcher is entitled to one, though, so it's all good. I just hope that he returns to finishing up Dresden, before he decides to continue on with The Cinder Spires. Because in my book, this series is over. I took a pen and wrote in a final line that the author seems to have forgotten:



"And then a giant meteor fell out of the sky and obliterated all life on whatever planet this is supposed to be taking place on."



What a great ending.



P.S. Also, the title has nothing to do with the book, and seems a shameless ploy to draw in fans of the steampunk genre, by using words that sound like they're associated with steampunk things, instead of giving an accurate depiction of what the book might actually be about.



P.P.S. Also, the Spirearch is a moron. "I'm going to send barely trained, incompetent soldiers who have yet to actually complete the most basic of their training, and are a long way from being actual soldiers, because reasons... Well, the book seems to be about them, so I'm just thinking ahead. Oh, and I'll send them on this SUPER IMPORTANT mission that, if failed, could mean the utter destruction of our entire spire and the death of everyone in it, in an airship that's broken, with a captain of questionable loyalty... Oh, and then I'll toss in two crazy people, because why not? Yeah... Pure geinus. I'm already patting myself on the back for a perfect victory over the enemy." The fact that it actually worked does not belie how utterly idiotic it is when you really sit down and think about it.