Jen Lewis

After Patti married Roger in 2011, Doug's self-esteem was so low that he started going exclusively by “Quailman" and moved into his Thicket of Solitude, which was actually just a neighbor’s overgrown garden. Seven trespassing arrests later, Quailman currently lives in his parents’ attic with some domestic quails, all of which are named "Patti Mayonnaise."