(I’m at a hotel due to a business trip, and my dinner took some time to make despite it being fish & chips.)

Me: “40 minutes for a piece of fish, and it was dead!”

Boyfriend: “…”

Me: “The restaurant. I ordered cod and chips and while the menu says it’s battered to order, it does NOT take 40 minutes and two chase-ups to make!”

Boyfriend: “Oh! The place was dead. Or should I say plaice?”