It’s tough to say what matters more, body or face. Everybody says face, but I’m not sure that’s fair. Your face is something you were born with. Having a good body takes a lot of sustained effort. A butterface is someone who may have been aware of their shortcomings and balanced them out the best they could.

Your face, though, that’s where you show your joys and letdowns and everything that makes you, you.

Here’s what happens when you have a beautiful face but your weight fluctuates by about 10 pounds.

1. People Say You Look Familiar

If you have a distinctive face, people feel like you’re familiar. Your face probably gives off an impression that reminds them of someone. (I’ve heard Gene Tierney a few times.) Also, it’s “You’re cute” or “You’re beautiful.” I rarely hear that I’m hot.

Years ago a guy who meant the world to me actually called me lovely. That was touching, because I don’t think people use those words like they used to.

2. You Don’t See Your Body Type on Billboards

I’m 5’3 and curvy. I have broad shoulders, small tits, and round hips. I build muscle easily when I try. Of course I gain weight easily too which fucking sucks.

If your figure is like mine, you won’t see girls with your body type in fashion magazines. They don’t act in movies. They’re relegated to fitness or fetish magazines. That is, if they’re not eating nine slices of Brie cheese at 3 AM like I am right now.

3. You Attract a Certain Type of Guy

Men either think you’re stunning or don’t notice you at all. There isn’t much middle ground.

I read somewhere that men like hot bodies short-term and beautiful faces long-term. It makes sense. I get hit on by artists, especially older ones. Sensitive guys. And not to be arrogant (okay who am I kidding) but the men who look at curvy women with beautiful faces are usually more intelligent.

The fratty guys occasionally hit on me. Sometimes they seem vaguely surprised by how I look. They’ll say I have a doll face or I look super innocent. (“Like you’ve never seen a dick before.” Nice.)

Sometimes men will criticize my body. They’ll be subtle (“Some women are gorgeous in the face but might have a bit of a stomach”) or sometimes blatant (“You’re not in shape.”)

I don’t get into clubs easily. The girls I see in the meatpacking district are tall and skinny with straight hair and generic faces. They all look the same. I guess that makes it easy for promoters who use women as currency to replace them.

4. Artists Are Drawn To You

They want to take my picture or draw my face. They’ll tell you things like you have a great face shape or your eyes look like you’re thinking about something deep. One girl, a painter, told me I have ears that are perfectly proportionate to my face. Those compliments take some thought to observe and are obviously way more personal than “nice ass.”

What I really want is to be photographed for a street style blog. That never happens. Maybe because they want tall skinny girls. Also because I get too fat for my good clothes every six months. If you like to shoot Rubenesque girls who wear Uniqlo leggings pants, let me know.

5. Everything You Feel Shows On Your Face

Your face is probably very expressive. You can’t keep your own secrets and people know if you hate them. You feel naked in public. I bet you have long hair that you like to hide behind.

People might let you get away with a little more, because beauty makes them comfortable. I’d heard this but I didn’t realize it until I noticed people seating me first in restaurants or approaching me instead of my friends to ask directions. I don’t think they know they’re doing it. A study showed that babies look at symmetrical faces longer.

A beautiful face also doesn’t seem to inspire jealous rages in other women as much as a hot body does. You’re lucky.

6. You Wish You Were in Hollywood…..60 Years Ago

Actresses used to have unique, expressive faces: Joan Crawford, Greta Garbo, Marilyn Monroe. They were slim, but they didn’t look like they worked out three hours a day. Now movie stars are anorexic and interchangeable. Your time is over.

It’s too bad, because you would have been great in silent films. Consider pinup work. Bettie Page-type models are supposed to look like they’re having fun, not starving. And the alternative type market they’re aimed at will appreciate less trendy types of beauty.

7. You Can Look at Aging Two Ways

Everyone knows your face ages before your body does. If you look at it in a sensitive way, that face of yours will be like a book, chronicling everything that’s happened to you and showing your character before you say a word.

“Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty.” –Coco Chanel

On the other hand, if you look at it a practical way, you’ll be fat and wrinkled. You should really start working out before that sluggish metabolism of yours gains momentum.

8. You Never Really Believe You’re Beautiful

The pressure on women to be thin is insane. I’m healthy: low blood pressure, strong heart, never had a BMI over 26. I walk a lot and avoid obvious junk food like soda. But I also have a hearty appetite and anxiety problems that makes me too tired to work out sometimes.

A pretty face used to mean something. But now models are scrawny and bland. Americans are either too fat or too thin. And our culture values conventional hotness over style.

If you have the discipline to have a great body, this is your time. But if you’re like me you worry constantly that if you only lost 8 pounds you’d be perfect. You buy nice clothes for your smallest size only. You don’t appreciate the beauty you have because the perfectionist in you feels like a beautiful face and a little extra weight is unrealized potential.

I think that when I get older I’ll look at pictures of myself and regret that I didn’t appreciate what I had when I had it. I don’t get quite as much attention when I’m chubby as I do when I’m fit, but I still have my best asset. And people notice. Trust me, plenty of people are looking at you. What you have is unique, and it’s yours. Embrace that.