Last week, a photograph went viral of a woman holding up a sign.

What was on the sign was fairly innocuous, but managed to rile up a lot of people. Why? Because it was a perfect example of mum privilege.

It reads: ‘Moms should get a fast pass to the front of the line at coffee shops.

‘Honey, you’re 22 & slept 10 hours last night? Get to the back of the line.’


Well, honey, no they shouldn’t.

I’m childless and I’m 24. On weekends I’ve been known to sleep for twelve hours solid and I still deserve my place in line just as much as you.



The person behind you who works 70 hours a week deserves their place as well, as does the retired person behind them.

In what to me seems to be a connected issue, a mother recently went viral for complaining that she was ejected from a Costa Coffee after she sat down without buying anything and began breastfeeding.

Kaley Louise Riley said that she wanted to buy a drink but there was a long queue and her crying baby needed to be fed before she did so, and that she planned to buy one once she had fed her baby.

Understandable, but when staff asked if she could purchase a drink before settling down, she left.

Again this coffee shop incident compounded the idea that some mums and dads believe they deserve to be held to a different standard to the rest of us.

Rather than the fact she was sat in a business without being a patron, this mum says she was kicked out in part because she was breastfeeding.

Although I absolutely believe breastfeeding mums are discriminated against, I do not believe this is what happened this time around.

There’s a level of entitlement emanating from these people – and from plenty of other ‘frazzled mum’ forums online – that grates on those who have no children.

For me it’s because I know that, for many in our society, having children is a choice. You conceived, you went to the scans, you decorated the nursery.

The same way someone going to law school knows they’ll be putting in the extra hours, people like this woman should be aware that children are effort.

I feel empathy, but not sympathy for both the law student or the new mum, because they’re both doing what they want and achieving their goals.

I also don’t want any part in their struggle because it’s not how I’ve chosen to live my life.

For some reason, though, parents have carte blanche to say they have it worse than everyone else.

I wouldn’t want to wait in line with little Tarquin eating Play-Doh and tugging at my jacket for a babyccino either. That’s why I use birth control.



Having children is not a disability. Getting a latte is not a necessity. This is all a middle-class, made-up problem of mummy bloggers’ own creation.

There are people out there who want to have children but can’t. They’d give anything to have a Tarquin – as annoying as he is – of their own, and you equating having children to some sort of ball and chain is offensive to them.

It’s also offensive to the multitude of people who suffer from illnesses (both seen and invisible) as it negates what they go through every day just to live life in relative comfort.

To me – a very privileged person – it’s not offensive. It’s just rude to suggest that the world, and everyone else’s problems, must come second to your bundle of joy.

Many people will say ‘but you were a child once’ and denounce me as some Miss Trunchbull-esque figure who wants to lock your little ‘uns in the chokey. Not so; I just believe that you don’t deserve special treatment for procreating.

You have every right to enjoy your children growing up and doing everything you can to make them smile. Last time I checked the Geneva Convention, though, the right to flat whites wasn’t in there.

It’s important to note that there’s only a specific type of pumpkin-spiced person that makes these quips about mum’s ‘wine time’ or how you can’t speak to them before they’ve had caffeine because they’re more tired than everyone else.


They’re the ones we’ve all experienced, whether when ramming into us in a double buggy or bringing their children into a pub to throw chicken nuggets at the other punters while saying ‘ooh, isn’t he/she sweet’.

It’s a case of #NotAllParents here, so to those not forcing their mummy privilege down everyone’s throats, thank you and all the best.

To the others – Get a coffee maker, stop letting Tarquin play Grand Theft Auto while you nip to Starbucks and realise that kids or no kids, we all have our struggles.

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