Metaphors, feelings and NagiKae - Chapter 159

Partly because of irritation at the overuse of metaphors, and partly because there’s no in-depth discussions on this matter, I’ve decided to write an analysis post on Kayano’s “forward”/“towards”/“side” metaphors that describe her feelings towards Nagisa.

The progression of her feelings towards him is not as simple as it looks, but to give the bottom line, she has gone from being unconscious of her feelings towards him to being conscious. This post will provide my explanation on the matter.

This will be a long analysis, and obviously contains spoilers

Subconscious beginnings

To start things off, this is what was written in Nagisa’s profile from Roll Book Time, under Character Relationships:

- Kayano Kaede (addressed as Kayano) - Let’s put aside whether she has affectionate feelings for Nagisa or not, but when B*tch-sensei kissed Nagisa, “I don’t really get why, but my heart feels irritated”

Even though revenge was what she was most concerned with at the time, when Irina kissed Nagisa, she got really irritated. This happened in Chapter 8, just one month after hanging around him.

Subconsciously, Kayano was already attracted to Nagisa. As she said in Chapter 159, she had no prior experience with love in real life, so it’s not surprising that she wasn’t able to recognise her feelings as such.

But flipping that around, Nagisa is effectively Kayano’s first love.

A Serious, Straightforward Face

As she said, what she fell in love with was his face when he “focuses straight forward”, whether it’s a target, a career, etc.

Matsui preceded her mental confession with the above panels, referencing all the way back to Chapter 12 near the beginning, for a reason: it is to show that this face she is referring to is something she’s been looking at, all year long.

Subconsciously, this had a bigger impression on her than she thought. The roots of her feelings were founded long, long ago, and were not something that popped out of the blue.

It is worth mentioning that 真っ直ぐ (“straight”/massugu) is synonymised with 真面目 (“serious”/majime), so in less metaphorical terms, Kayano likes the look Nagisa has when he gets serious.

As a reminder, Kayano has an 一直線 (“straight forward”/icchokusen) personality. As someone who can be serious when she puts her mind on something, it wouldn’t be surprising for her to also like boys who can be serious too.

A Heart’s Awakening

For the longest time, Kayano hadn’t been aware of her own feelings, but seeing as she had to contend with the tentacles’ madness everyday, it’s not surprising.

It wasn’t until the kiss that she started becoming aware of her own heart, and conscious of her feelings.

Similar to Itona, after the Yukimura family’s business failed, her parents are nowhere to be seen. But unlike Itona, she still had her sister, and it’s unsurprising that she clung dearly to her.

(Curiously enough, even at Aguri’s funeral, they’re nowhere to be found, but I intend to remark on this another time)

With the loss of her only family, her only source of familial love, and under seemingly unearthly circumstances, she turned to revenge. Reckless as it was, she did believe that revenge was all she had left.

And yet, by the time she lost her revenge, she found that her heart wasn’t as empty as she thought. At least, not anymore. She became conscious to the fact that over the course of this year, Nagisa had already gradually entered the void (along with the rest of Class E, I’d like to believe).

Also, like any target that matters to a hitman, Nagisa looked straight at her with eyes full of sentiment and concern, effectively sending a message that “she matters”. You could say “bloodlust” in this case is tantamount to “concern”.

He had “killed” her cursed self and brought new life to her.

Careers, Distractions and Patience

If Nagisa is the observer of Class E, then Kayano is the one who observes the observer.

Contrary to popular belief, I don’t think that Nagisa’s prospect of becoming a teacher is predictable for all of his classmates. Given how much she has observed and understood him, I reckon that Kayano is the only one who could’ve guessed correctly, followed by Karma as a less probable candidate.

In so doing, Kayano knows that Nagisa, although feeling uneasy, is giving a lot of thought about this prospective career. Since she likes him when he’s serious about what’s in front of him, she feels that at this point in time, she shouldn’t distract him, “turn to the side towards her”, so to speak.



Or to be more plain, she likes her man when he’s serious, she doesn’t want to get in his way and ruin that.

So instead, she’s resolve to use her acting skills once more, this time for his benefit, cheer him on, and help him find his way.



Not even dating, yet already acting like a devoted wife to him. That’s pretty sweet.

Also, I stress “this point in time”, because Nagisa is focused “right now”. The possibilities “afterwards” are all there.

Closing words

All in all, the progression of Kayano’s feelings wasn’t something that popped out of the blue, but rather something gradually built over time, no mistake.

And through the use of metaphors (albeit somewhat excessively), Matsui expressed the fruition of her feelings. Well, the Japanese are traditionally subtle and not very open with their romance, so metaphors are commonplace as a form of expression.

As a final word to this analysis, once Nagisa has finally made up his mind (this will have to be at the end of February, in-universe), Kayano better, better, BETTER confess her feelings for real!!!

Isn’t that right!?

