Say it with us: hand sanitiser is not lube (Picture: Getty/iStockphoto)

In the wake of the coronavirus pandemic, hand sanitiser bottles are flying off the shelves, but the clear liquid might not only be used for what you imagine.

In case you haven’t caught the hint: we’re talking about masturbation.

While most people are stocking up on necessities, lube is probably not high on that list – but please, when you’re enjoying your ‘lunch break’ while working from home, do not reach for the hand sanitiser.

To put it plainly: masturbating with hand sanitiser (the clue is in the product name) is a very bad idea.


‘Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitiser as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week,’ one person described their experience.



Another brave yet foolish soul, who said he is a ‘male in my 30s with an uncircumcised penis’ explained that he wanted to experience a golden shower and thought it would be a great idea to replace pee with hand sanitiser (please, don’t).

‘I grab some hand sanitiser. I go for it,’ he wrote in a lengthy Reddit post.

‘Except, I put a bit too much on. It burns a little more than I can take and I have to rinse off.

‘I get up and try again, this time, just a drop, right on the urethra. It stings a tiny bit but I go for it and fap it up. I get that slight hot kind-of-burning-but-kind-of-not feeling and if I don’t look down it feels like I’m pissing up a storm!’

Say this with us: hand sanitiser on your penis or inside your vagina is a very, very bad idea.

While you’re at it, don’t reach for your electric toothbrush or the pineapple slices that you’ve been stockpiling to give your dick a tingle, either.

‘We know supermarkets are running out of hand sanitisers due to concerns around Covid-19,’ Dr Earim Chaudry, medical director at Manual, tells Metro.co.uk.

‘Now, we must not forget that alcohol-based gels were initially used to clean hands in the absence of handwashing facilities – the best option is still soap and water.

‘Masturbation is a natural thing that many people enjoy. However I strongly advise not to use hand sanitiser on your genitals to masturbate. ‘

Before you go there, soap is also a no-go.

Dr Chaudry adds: ‘Yes, our groins are warm, dark places and have a tendency to perspire – however the skin there is sensitive.

‘One of the main ingredients in many hand sanitizers is isopropyl alcohol.

‘Isopropyl alcohol is not safe for internal use, and if used whilst masturbating it could make its way down your vaginal or penile opening – this will damage the internal skin.

‘Alcohol is drying, and the skin on your genitals is also sensitive and just as easily damaged.’

Be careful if you’re having sex with others, too.

‘Also, if you expect to share your nether regions with another, and if you’ve ever licked your hand after using hand sanitiser before, you will know it won’t taste great for them,’ adds Dr Chaudry.



‘Therefore, hand sanitiser should only be used on the hands for the purpose of killing bacteria/viruses and should never be used as a lubricant to masturbate with.’

If you’re desperate for something to masturbate with, supermarkets deliver and yes, you can add lubricants to the shopping list.

It might feel awkward, but COVID-19 is already a massive concern, so let’s not add burning or ripped skin on penises and vaginas to the list of worries.

You can thank us later.

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