Disagreeing With Progressives On Social Issues Now Qualifies As Federal Hate Crime

U.S.—The U.S. Department of Justice confirmed Monday that disagreeing with any progressive on any social issue now qualifies as a federal hate crime which will be punished to the full extent of the law.

Liberals took to social media after the announcement to celebrate the victory.

“I’m thrilled. I’ve always known that anyone who disagrees with me on LGBT issues, gender issues, abortion—or anything else, really—is nothing but a malicious, hate-filled, homophobic, transphobic, sexist, racist, woman-hating, gutter-level bully,” Amber Heath, a self-described popular and important progressive blogger, tweeted Monday morning.

“It’s great that instead of just calling people names on Twitter when they try to engage in intellectually honest discussion on these issues, like I’ve always done, now I can even report them to the authorities for being the hatemongers they are. TOLERANCE!”

At publishing time, authorities were investigating several “problematic and possibly toxic” replies to Heath’s tweets which appeared to question her logic.

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