Proving once again that the mainstream media’s Twitter Checkmark Mafia is populated almost exclusively by smug know-nothings whose ignorance is exceeded only by their condescension, I present to you the very latest from CNN’s Chris Cillizza.

Viruses don't, uh, recognize borders https://t.co/witGVrB1nJ — Chris Cillizza (@CillizzaCNN) March 23, 2020

I’m no virologist, but according to the latest research I’ve been able to find, viruses don’t just blow around in the wind from country to country, infecting any and everyone who comes into contact with the tainted air. Not even the Chinese coronavirus from Wuhan, a city in China ruled by Chinese Communists where the Chinese-sourced Sino-virus came from.

According to a report earlier this month by MIT Technology Review, scientists attempting to see how long coronavirus can survive in the air and on various surfaces, “swished around in the air chamber, the germs remained for about three hours.” So if Cilizza thinks the virus swept over the Pacific from China on the winds, he couldn’t be more wrong.

What about solid surfaces? MIT says that experiments showed that coronavirus did best on “stainless steel and plastic, where infectious germs could still be collected after three days and might endure quite a bit longer.” On copper, “the virus was gone after just four hours.” So there is some small chance that coronavirus can come across the border on trucks, planes, or on packages.

You know what respects borders, generally speaking? Shipping companies that put packages on trucks and planes.

For coronavirus to really spread, however, it needs a living, breathing human host. Most human beings also respect borders. We usually plan our international travel far in advance, we carry the proper paperwork, and we submit ourselves to the entry and reentry process at each end of our journey.

You know who doesn’t respect borders, at all? Illegal aliens. That oh-so-problematical phrase says it all: Aliens means they’re not from here; illegal means they didn’t get here through the proper channels. Call them “migrants” or “undocumented disease vectors” or whatever, but “illegal aliens” is both correct and proper.

Borders — specifically, borders enforced with walls where needed — are the best way to stop illegal aliens. They’re also a fine way to check up on those entering the country legally, to see if maybe they have a fever and need a little timeout before being set loose on the American public.

So what have we learned today, kids?

We’ve learned:

• Coronavirus typically needs a human host to spread to more humans • Humans either respect borders (legal tourists/immigrants), or can be made to respect borders if you make the borders tough enough to cross • Therefore, non-porous borders would be a great way to slow the spread of coronavirus and the deadly COVID-19 infection • Chris Cillizza is even dumber than you thought

That last one was a real shocker, like learning there’s an even deeper trench located under the Marianas Trench.

Twitter had a field day ratio-ing Cillizza, so I’ll close with a few of the best.

Look up "social distancing." Then, apply that to countries. Then, go away. — Cruadin (@cruadin) March 23, 2020

You might want to wash your hands after reading this column. You can’t catch a virus over the internet, but stupidity can spread even through virtual transmission vectors, and I’d hate for you to get any Cillizza on you.