Another day, another example of the homebirth trifecta.

The homebirth trifecta is the ugly combination of ignorance, narcissism and contempt for the wellbeing of babies that characterizes many homebirth advocates.

This one is a classic of the genre: The Complicated Home Birth (HBAC) of Harlow Taylor…and Why I’m Glad I Wasn’t At A Hospital.

Harlow’s birth was wonderful (albeit very painful) and therapeutic and redemptive. It was everything I hoped it would be.

Was it therapeutic and redemptive for Harlow? Not so much.

Once Harlow’s head was born and her shoulders didn’t come with the next contraction, my midwife became very firm and serious with me. She instructed me to PUSH AS HARD AS YOU CAN AND GET THIS BABY OUT. She immediately had me turn over on all fours. I’d like for you to imagine trying to go from laying on your back to turning over on your hands and knees with a babies head hanging out of your body. It was interesting to say the least, but adrenaline kicked in and as my doula recounted to me, “You turned over like a cat! I’d never seen a pregnant woman turn over so fast!” Once I was on all fours I continued to push with all of my might, but Harlow still was not coming out. She then told me to turn back over, and once I did she was able to manipulate her just enough where she came down and out.

The result?

Thankfully, and by the sheer grace of God, Harlow was born healthy, albeit with some bruising and a small clavicle fracture. Also, I had no tearing whatsoever.

It is staggering to contemplate the immaturity, self-absorption and narcissism required to formulate a sentence like that, let alone publish it to the whole world.

But wait! Let’s not overlook the napalm grade stupidity required by this claim:

Now, some of you may be thinking to yourselves, “You should have been in a hospital.” or, “This could have been avoided had you been with a doctor.” To that I say, absolutely NOT. Heres why: Because I was under the care of a midwife, I was under the care of someone who handles birth like the natural life process that it truly is instead of like something to be treated for. Because of this, she knows how to also handle all manner of complications during delivery as they may arise, and sometimes do… [She] sprung into action with me when the need presented itself because THIS HAPPENS SOMETIMES. I’m so thankful that I was under the care of a skilled midwife who knew how to handle it in the least invasive way that was possible for my birth. At the end of the day, everyone was safe, healthy, and alive, and I didn’t have to add an additional 2 weeks recovery time. That I’m thankful for!

Earth to Lauren! Earthy to Lauren! Everyone was not safe and healthy. Since when is a fractured clavicle, with the attendant severe pain and possible associated nerve damage healthy? It isn’t, but who really cares since it is only the baby who has to suffer? Evidently Harlow’s agonizing pain is a small price to pay in exchange for Lauren’s pristine vagina.

Earth to Lauren! Your midwife did NOT handle the situation well. The baby is injured, and possibly permanently impaired, because she did not handle it well enough to keep the baby’s bones intact. The fractured clavicle might have been unavoidable but it might not. With an episiotomy, a competent provider and an assistant to apply supra-public pressure, Harlow might have been delivered without breaking any of her bones. After all, at 7 lb 9oz, she was hardly a large baby.

Of course the dangerous situation could have been avoided entirely by an elective repeat C-section, but that wouldn’t have involved Lauren’s redemption and what could possibly be more important than that?

Thanks, Lauren, for illustrating so clearly the self absorption and narcissism that leads awoman to value a pristine vagina above a baby’s pain and potential disability. Thanks for illustrating the stunning ignorance and massive denial that leads you to imagine that a fractured clavicle is a good outcome and to pretend that others with more skill wouldn’t have gotten a better result.

In other words, thanks for demonstrating the homebirth trifecta that leads so many homebirth advocates to feel proud of themselves for putting their dreams ahead of their babies’ health and wellbeing.