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Lets go to Pennsylvania. While high on bath salts, two people are facing a bunch of charges after trying to “evade an alien attack.”

Jesse Shields and Katherine McCloskey had a night they won’t soon forget.

“According to investigators, the pair from Clinton County had a “bad trip” and thought that fireflies were green lasers coming from aliens who were after them. State Police say Shields fired his revolver in the air to scare away the lasers and then ran to a nearby home on Long Run Road in Lamar Township, where he asked the homeowner to call the cops because something was chasing them. (Source CBS)

Shields eventually fled the home & broke the widow at another neighbor’s house. That neighbor somehow got the gun away from Shields. He then asked if “he could take a shower to get the “goo” off his body because it was burning his skin.”

Those bath salts are no joke. They’ll take you straight to crazy town. Why can’t someone get arrested for doing something cute while on them? It’s never something along the lines of cuddling with a bunch of puppies after breaking into a pet shop. It’s always something violent. That tells you something about how fucked up the stuff is.

I do wonder how the neighbor got the gun from Shields. The article doesn’t say. Personally, if I truly believed that a bunch of aliens were attacking me, I’m not giving up that gun. It would probably be useless, but it’s something. Maybe the neighbor went along with his delusion & offered him an upgraded laser rifle if he forked of the revolver first?

All kidding aside, those homeowners are lucky that Shields didn’t think they were aliens too. If so, he probably would have shot them.

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Categories: I can't believe its in the News!