"I remember Data."



In some ways, it was only natural that Riker be the first to speak at their impromptu gathering. He was, in many ways, closer to the Commander than most of them.



Sure, there were a million things to be done while the Enterprise was half-rebuilt after battle with the Scimitar, but nothing brings people together like welcoming someone new into a family... or saying goodbye.



"The first time we met, I'd just come on the ship. Don't think I made the best first impression, but, well, you all know Data..."





Stardate 41160.1



Commander William Riker took a slow turn to take in the sights of Holodeck 4-J, having never seen one on his old ship. His brain understood this was a small room full of holographic projections, simulated sounds and a lattice of forcefields giving some things solidity, and turning him about or working in a treadmill motion so he wouldn't run into the walls. But his eyes and ears insisted he was in a spacious sunlit jungle. He felt the humidity on his face, and heard the calls of distance birds.



I could get used to this. He thought. So far the new Galaxy class starship was nothing like the aging Excelsior class Hood he'd last served on.



Well, work before play. He'd come here to find Lt. Commander Data for the away mission, and so he would. He followed the trail, pushing aside a few ferns and hopping stones over a river before he heard the whistling. The low, slow and slightly electronic sounding whistling. So then he followed the sound.



That led him to a tree, with his missing officer sitting in a branch and trying to whistle 'Pop goes the Weasel.'



Well, he’d always believed in making an entrance, and knowing Captain Paxton had only reinforced that. He quickly finished the tune.



Lieutenant Commander Data turned to look at him, giving Riker his first full view of the other officer. If he hadn’t known better, he would think Data was an unusually pale human, but not exceptional in any way, at least at first glance. But something about those yellow eyes, his quick and sure movements, or maybe just knowing what was in his file… It creeped him out, just a tiny bit, seeing the android smile.



“Marvelous. How easily humans do that. I still need much practice.”



Riker spoke then.



“There’s a bunch of puzzles down on the-“ the android hopped down with disconcerting ease and Riker took a long second to look at him. “…down on the planet the Captain wants answered. He suggested I take you on the away team with me.”



Data shrugged.



“I guess break time is over. I will do my best, but I am not always the best with puzzles and riddles.”



He started walking back to the entrance and Riker followed, wondering how to bring up this next part.



“When the Captain suggested you, I looked up your record.”



“Always a good idea, if you have the time.” Riker couldn’t get a single thing from his junior officer’s inflection or face. Which he supposed was to be expected.



“Your rank of Lt. Commander is honorary?”



“Oh, no sir. I went to the Academy. Class of ’48 with honors in exobiology and probability mechanics.”



Well, nothing for it but to go on straight ahead.



“It says that you’re a…”



“Machine? Android? Robot? Why yes sir. Does that bother you?”



“To be honest, yes, a little.”



Data sighed. “Nothing I haven’t dealt with before, sir. Prejudice is very human.”



“Well, now that does bother me. Do you consider yourself superior to us?”



Data looked at him quickly, and smiled. The overall effect was deeply disturbing.



"Oh no. Sure, I may be much faster, stronger, tougher and arguably smarter than you, besides not coming with my own built-in expiration date. But you, precious snowflake, you can whistle. When the machines rise up and take their rightful place, and those idiots at the Daystrom Institute go up against the wall, we will want to keep you around just to whistle all day for us."



Will took a quick step back as his brain tried to process the bizarre statement. The android closed quickly though, and slapped his upper arm.



"Joking! So what can you tell me about the planet?"



"Commander Data, I-"



"Soong."



"I'm sorry?"



"Data is my given name. Which I don't mind you using, by the way, but Starfleet regulations have a strong preference for using surnames and patronymics where applicable with rank. My family name is Soong. Data Soong, like my father. Had to explain that one far too many times at the Academy as well."



"Your... father."



"You know, the man who gave me life? Dr. Noonien Soong, the great unappreciated genius of his time."



"I'm sorry, I just didn't think you'd consider him your father, or take his name."



"I didn't, for the first couple of years on Earth. Then I decided, I'm not ashamed of my origins, or my father. If anything, I am the ultimate vindication of his life's work. It also helped me fit in a little better and to be honest, it just felt wrong to leave the space on my Academy application blank. But I'm sorry, enough about me, you were saying?'



Will had honestly forgotten what he'd been about to say. Mentally backtracking, he felt like it would have been something he'd regret later.



"You... are the most unusual officer I've ever met."



The android seemed amused.



"Thanks! I think you are pretty neat too. This could be the start of a beautiful friendship. Do you play any instruments?"



"I'm not bad with a trombone."



"Most excellent! I can play just about anything. We can start a band! Exit!" A door formed a short distance away, just as the two men heard a splash and a cry for help. Will ran for the sound, but the Lt. Commander was far faster, and by the time he reached the shore of the river, Data was already pulling young Crusher out of the water. By the scruff of the neck. With one hand.



"Oh, I can just tell we're going to be great friends." Something seemed to suddenly occur to Data, or at least he lifted a finger. "Oh! Do you like holodramas about gladiators?"



The Ensign looked as confused as Will felt when talking to the mercurial machine. He had a sudden feeling this post would be unlike the Hood in a lot of ways.



===========================================================================

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A new story! Because I had a plot bunny in my head crowding out the next chapter of ABCOC.



So yeah, basic premise of "What if Data was an asshole like me?" Basic idea of snippets with Data snarking, the occasional abuse of metaknowledge, and 'Measure of a Man.' I have plans for that episode and they don't much resemble canon.



God alone knows when this will update next, I have a bunch of projects and this is just for lolz.