Margaret, after reading Chapter 6 of Ann Coulter’s book I am convinced that Ann Coulter hates me. And I am sorry to break it to you honey, but she hates you too. In fact, there are roughly 6.8 billion people in the world and Ann Coulter hates every last one of them… except for maybe George Bush and Sarah Palin.

This chapter is titled “When 95 Percent of World Domination Just Isn’t Enough…” which seems to have nothing to do with anything contained in the chapter. It should have been titled ” 95% of Ann Coulter is pure bullshit… and the other 5% is pure bullshit.” It occurs to me that reading a Coulter book is like drinking the water in Mexico – eventually you find yourself wondering if the shit will ever stop.

The entire chapter seems to be one long argument over whether Bill Clinton’s scandals while in office were worse than George Bush’s scandals while in office. Of course, Ann doesn’t think there were any scandals of note while Bush was in office. In fact, Ann felt Bush’s biggest failure was that he spent his entire time trying to appease Democrats. I can only assume that Ann has no idea what “appease” means. It’s kind of a big word for her.

I really can’t explain this chapter other than maybe Ann didn’t think anyone would read this far into her book. I may have indeed gone where no man has gone before when I finished this chapter. That’s one small step for me and one giant foot for Ann.

Margaret, you’ll have to forgive me if my summation of this chapter is a bit wanting. Ann’s thought process was even worse than her sentence structure so I don’t intend to spend anymore time on this summary except to say this:

Bill Clinton cheated on just one person – his wife. George Bush cheated on… well 6.8 billion of us. You tell me which is worse.

Before I go, I want to briefly move on to a more relevant topic – not that Coulter is relevant ever – but reading this chapter made me realize that the two political parties seem to be in a no-win war to see which one can screw things up while blaming it on the other. I am just disgusted with the entire House and Senate right now. For years I took care of a husband and raised three kids. If I ran my house like they run the government, I would have never gotten food on the table to feed my children. Who are these idiots?

To the morons running this country: If you would spend as much time working on the nation’s problems as you spend trying to avoid paying taxes, you’d realize that most of us out here are neither red nor blue. We’re varying shades of purple and we’re fed up with your nonsense. Get together and figure a way out of this mess. Trust me – you don’t want me to come up there and figure it out for you, because if I have to come up there your ass is going to be introduced to my foot. It may not be a gigantic foot like Ms. Coulter’s but it will get the job done.

And with that, dear Margaret, I need to take a nap. This book is boring the hell out of me, but I only have one chapter left. I can’t wait to move on to something more enjoyable than Ann Coulter – like irritable bowel syndrome. I mean it really.