Pink Diamond's situation can hit extremely hard for those who think that their family, friends, and other loved ones don't really care about them at all, Poor Communication or not, which in some cases have driven some to kill themselves out of the belief that their deaths would genuinely improve their lives. It certainly puts Rose giving up her physical form to give birth to Steven in a new light, especially with her line about being unable to shatter herself.

Indeed. Pink Diamond came across as someone who already had a lot of self-loathing and frustration, even in her “first” appearance in the show as a Diamond. She was clearly angry at not being taken seriously and wanted an opportunity to prove that she was capable and responsible - she clearly felt that she was being denied something she was entitled to, due to her position in society. And yet, when that opportunity finally came, she couldn’t make her “family” proud, not because she lacked the ability but rather because she found value in things that they didn’t.



Everything that happened in the war and after the war was at least partially her fault (and I would argue in many cases mostly her fault, though let’s not let the other Diamonds off the hook here), and I think she realised this. Rose definitely gained some much needed perspective and maturity during her time on Earth - I’m sure she came to understand pretty quickly just how badly she’d messed things up for her allies. Rose cried enough tears of regret to fill a fountain, and presumably dedicated a good portion of her time on Earth to making amends, desperately searching for a solution to corruption and trying her best to act as a source of comfort to her remaining allies.







When we do see Rose in the recent past, she’s still got a lot of issues to work through, despite the thousands of years that have passed. She loved humans - sure - but she certainly doesn’t respect or understand them until meeting Greg. I’m sure she loved Pearl, and a more sympathetic interpretation of their relationship might be that Rose never fully commited to a relationship with Pearl because of worries about the (very very unsettling) power imbalance. Either way we repeatedly see her not treating their relationship as seriously as Pearl sees it, and she certainly doesn’t seem to have put any effort into clarifying her feelings. She outright laughs at Pearl’s jealousy in Story For Steven, and despite literally having forced Pearl into secrecy about the whole Pink Diamond situation Rose still doesn’t trust Pearl with secrets like Lion and Bismuth.





There are lots of way you could potentially interpret Rose turning into Steven, but regardless of motivation she still basically committed suicide. And this time she didn’t have the excuse of not knowing how others would react, because she’d already experienced that fallout of one “suicide”. She must have known for a fact that her family loved her, especially Pearl and Greg. So her motivations are incredibly important.



I’ve argued that the rebellion was never about escaping from Homeworld’s ideology, but what I didn’t do is explain what implications that has for PD/Rose’s actual beliefs. What I think is that Pink did buy into Homeworld’s ideology - we hear as much in Greg The Babysitter:

When a Gem is made, it’s for a reason. They burst out of the ground already knowing what they’re supposed to be, and then… that’s what they are. Forever. But you, you’re supposed to change. You’re never the same even moment to moment – you’re allowed and expected to invent who you are. What an incredible power – the ability to “grow up.”



This suggests, to me at least, that part of Rose truly didn’t believe gems could change. She was destined to be a Diamond, but she couldn’t fulfill her purpose on Homeworld, and rather than accepting that it was the ideology at fault, I think Rose may have looked at herself as broken in some way. None of the CGs had truly broken free of their prescribed roles, they were merely doing what they were made to do poorly (as far as Homeworld was concerned at least). She was made to be a leader and the CGs also saw her as such, Pearl was made to be loyal to her, which is precisely what she continued to be (I won’t insult Pearl’s own agency by claiming that she acted entirely out of loyalty to Rose, but it certainly played a role in just how obsessive and unrelenting she was), Garnet ended up basically adopting the roles of both her parts, as a soldier and advisor…



In addition to this, Rose was drowning in guilt and regrets. She would have been terrified at the idea of the truth ever coming out about her own identity and her actions during the war (including what happened with Bismuth), losing her the support of her only remaining allies. She was clearly unable to forgive herself for what her decisions and actions led to, and was put on a pedestal and revered as a hero by her closest friends, which would have only acted as additional pressure. I don’t think she had Steven as part of any overcomplicated plan, I think she committed suicide for exactly the same reason “Pink Diamond” did - she couldn’t face telling the truth and disappointing the people she loved. There were just too many lies she had to face, too much she had to take responsibility for, and too much she couldn’t stand to lose (especially given that the remaining CGs were all she had left at this point). I think it was a selfish decision, made by someone who hadn’t really matured that much and who probably believed she couldn’t mature. At the end of the day though, as someone who has suffered from chronic depression for the last 6 years, her decision makes a sickening amount of sense to me. It hurt a lot of people and it wasn’t a good decision by any stretch - she knowingly hurt her friends and left Steven and Greg to deal with the fallout, but I don’t doubt that she genuinely felt she had no other choice.





On the actual episodes at hand



When this scene came up (and more specifically when this line came up), I literally let out an audible “oh fuck” to myself under my breath:

As long as you are there to rule, this colony will be completed. [Source]



The implication is obvious and horrifying. I know I come across as quite harsh towards her and her actions but I do think Pink truly valued life, even if she neither understood nor respected it, and even if her original motivations were pretty self-centred. Pink wholeheartedly believed that the only way to stop the completion of the colony was to no longer be there to rule it, and more than that she took Blue and Yellow’s reactions to her “failure” as a sign that they were more concerned about her success as a Diamond than her own well-being.



Blue and Yellow don’t care. They never have. This is “Pink Diamond's” colony.



From the audience perspective though, it’s like watching a car crash video in slow motion, already knowing that all passengers died in the firey wreck as a result. Our perspective isn’t soured by the same frustrations and entitlements felt by Pink, and we have the benefit of hindsight and emotional/cultural distance; we’ve seen the Diamonds at their most vulnerable and honest.



So when we see this scene for example

we can interpret Yellow’s harsh words as a mix of frustration (at being interrupted when working) and disappointment (that Pink is being immature and unruly). However, from the perspective of Pink, who lacks the maturity and perspective to see Yellow’s actions in a more favourable way, Yellow comes off as harsh and uncaring. It also makes it extra hard for Pink to be honest about her colony with Yellow around, because admitting that she’s struggling (and that, according to Homeworld’s moral code, it’s her fault she’s struggling) is basically admitting that Yellow was right all along. It’s notable that the excuses Pink gives are things beyond her control:

First thing, too many organics, then their cities would be too difficult to dismantle, and now, now these Crystal Gems?



Blue’s right, Pink is making excuses; admitting that her issues with the colony are ideological rather than tangible would have no doubt been interpreted as a sign that she was too immature to understand Homeworld’s core values and ideals. I truly think that, despite everything, there was a part of Pink that couldn’t stand the shame of letting the other Diamonds down, to the point where she was willing to erase her entire identity to avoid having to deal with it.





A similar thing can be seen with Blue. This

is something Pink would have seen as condescending and a sign that Blue didn’t care about what Pink had to say. Blue is shutting down the conversation before it even starts, and we can surmise that this isn’t the first time from Pink’s reaction. For the viewer, however, it’s difficult to not see Blue’s actions and words here as tender and encouraging, borne from a place of caring rather than anger. And this is because when we see a scene like this we can’t help but to also remember this:





Even if you accept that the Diamonds are tyrants, and even if Pink’s actions and the other Diamonds’ reactions led to an immeasurable amount of suffering for innocent people, it’s hard to look at this example of a very serious breakdown in communication and understanding and not see it as a horrible tragedy for everyone involved. And while I don’t want to be guilty of blaming “all the world’s problems on some single enemy… instead of a complex network of interrelated forces beyond anyone’s control”, I do think this tragedy largely stems from an unhealthy caste system and worldview which pushes people into roles they may not be suited for and which does not consider gems to have inherent value, beyond what role they play. This ideology and caste system effects the Diamonds just as much as anyone else.

