NEW YORK—speaking at a fundraiser at the home of a wealthy gay couple here, Sen. Ted Cruz (R—TX) said yesterday that he is “completely fine” with people being gay, if they are major contributors to his campaign. “If my daughter were gay, and she married a hedge-fund guy, and that guy was dropping major checks to Ted Cruz for President, then I would love her just as much as I do today, or perhaps up to 30% more,” he told attendees.

As Cruz has made opposition to gay marriage a plank of his presidential campaign, a spokesman later clarified that he had not changed his position. “Senator Cruz does not believe there is a right to gay marriage,” said the spokesman. “That’s why he’d like to see fifty grand, cash on the barrelhead, before he signs off on one.”

According to attendees, Cruz also blasted “typical big government overreach like the Federal Reserve, foreign aid, the Federal highway fund, and the so-called NASA moon landings.” Clarifying his position, he later handed out a price list for what he expected in each. “You want fluoride in your community, I better see ten bucks per household.”



I can’t be bought, but I’d really like it if you tried