Another delightful installment in Weekly Want! Partly an excuse to post the above video, but with sincere longing for a piece from Nichole de Carle Lingerie‘s exquisite collections – the straps, oh the straps. Want: The Last Testament Bra (£145.00), and The Last Testament Brief With Braces (£85.00). What I want the most: The Opal Westminster Brief & Braces (£97.00). Don’t miss the gorgeous photo gallery.

Like a pretty present: the Patent Leather Bow Wrist Restraint by Stockroom ($65.00). As you can see below in the beautiful Steve Diet Goedde photo of Justine Jolie, the Bow is a wrist restraint that works like a pair of adjustable locking wrist cuffs – with a pretty finish. “On top of the adjustable black Latigo leather restraint strap is a high gloss patent leather gift bow. The bow fits over a D-ring shaped nickel plated plate staple that holds a heart shaped chrome padlock.”

This is an incredible price, and from a very reputable seller: one of the condoms I recommend the most (and is the condom of choice for sex workers and porn performers for thinness, strength, reliability and the fact that it looks the least obtrusive) Japanese Crown (formerly named Skinless Skins) condoms are on sale at Amazon. Really: when I worked at a sex toy store, we sold the hell out of these to sex workers because their clients notice them the least, and then I tried them and now I always keep them in my nightstand drawer as excellent general-purpose condoms. Condom Man has Okamoto Crown Condoms, Super Thin Condoms at $12.10 for 100! Highly recommended and – wohoo! – available for Prime!

A truly eco-friendly vibrator in a sleek package, the color of snow, or onyx? Earth Angel ($69.00), I want you! “The most eco-friendly toy on the planet” is what you want for camping, the zombie apocalypse, and definitely in your disaster survival kit. USB or manually-chargeable with a wind-up crank: turn the key for four minutes and you’ve got 30+ minutes of very quiet vibration at three different speeds; more charging gets more vibe time. Every bit of the Earth Angel, from housing to packing, is made from recycled materials. Think about it: with the USB, you can charge it in your car!

Ron de Jeremy Rum is – not an April Fool’s joke – a dark Panamanian rum that received a bit of buzz prior to release (yes, the jokes write themselves) and is now available for $29.99 at Drink Up NY. The Ron de Jeremy Rum website (warning: sound alert and video autoplay with no shut-off) is only a publicity spot, yet entertaining nonetheless. As we all know, along with his partnership touring the country with anti-porn XXX Chruch, anyone’s tool Jeremy will sell literally anything. So it’s a drinker’s curiosity that makes me want to try the rum – as I do love rum, and interestingly, it’s received positive reviews from those who’ve tried it.