



From 1992 to 2012, the Church of Scientology ran a children’s performing arts program called Kids Onstage for a Better World. They made videos of their original songs and skits, and it is some of the most terrible kiddie schlock I’ve ever seen. I can’t say I’m baffled that the Scientologists had a youth campaign, but I will say I’m pretty shocked it’s so bad… and so unbelievably low-budget. The Church has movie industry millionaires as members and this is the best they can do? I also kind of thought the Scientology showbiz tykes would sing something a little less embarrassingly earnest and wholesome. I’ve heard Christian rock with more edge.

“Their messages are important, and resonate with their family audiences: Follow your dreams. Stay in school. Help others. Don’t take harmful drugs.”

They’re the leaders of tomorrow!

Although Kids Onstage for a Better World claim to be non-denominational, we can only wonder what’s the percentage of Christian, Jewish or Muslim kids in the cast? How many Mormons or non-religious kids? Probably not many, if any. (You have to go through several to find one black kid. Asians and Latinos were also mostly MIA in K.O.B.W.)







The website is still up, should you be compelled to dig though a record of kiddie cult theater, but mentions of Scientology in the programming are pretty subtle—no awesome sermons on Xenu, I’m afraid, but onsite personality tests might have happened—I don’t know, I wasn’t there. The performances themselves are very vague and “empowering”—no shock there. Vague but empowering is kind of Scientology’s modus operandi, right?

Even if some kid was vulnerable to the influence of corny kids’ footlights, there’s an obvious flaw in their plan:

In addition to producing 50-100 community shows each year, the Kids on Stage for a Better World have delighted audiences with a large show each year. Since 1994, these large annual extravaganzas have been performed in their home venue, the Garden Pavilion Theatre of the beautiful Church of Scientology Celebrity Centre International.

In order to see the “big” show, kids have to go inside a Scientology building! I suspect Kids on Stage for a Better World did more to energize their home team than community outreach regardless of their stated aims.



There are a lot of videos and in the archive, but I’ll just leave you with the motivational speak-heavy “Joy of Creating,” from 2003, and 2000’s “Don’t Pass me by,” (it’s not the awesome Beatles’ song, no). Give it a listen, if you dare. Just make sure the children are out of the room—you don’t want any accidental converts.





Via VICE