In light of this Christian Post article on the “Christian Voting Guide” put out by Rev. Steven Andrew, I was curious to see how Jesus himself would stack up against other candidates. The short answer is “not very well.” I’ve taken the liberty of revising Andrew’s guide to reflect new information, but the criteria remain the same, based on his “Five Biblical Qualifications for Voting.” You can see the original table here.

Andrew says, “The Bible’s qualifications for choosing leaders are a person who:”

Is a Christian who fears God; Calls for Christian religious liberty; Insists we have God-given rights; Is truthful; and Hates covetousness.

Let’s see how the candidates shake out.

The Revised American Christian Voting Guide™

A higher score means the greater God will bless the USA. Liberty, better jobs and God’s protection come from higher scores. Helping those with lower scores means more troubles from God’s judgment for disobeying the Holy Bible, as well as unjust laws against God. This chart also reveals what percentage of a true American the person is.

Candidate Overall Rating Fears God Demands to Have Christian Religious Liberty Insists to Have God-given Rights Truthful Hates Covetousness 1) Mike Huckabee 93% (A) 92% 93% 95% 92% 91% 2) Rand Paul 85% (B) 80% 77% 91% 91% 91% 3) Ben Carson 82% (B-) 80% 77% 85% 85% 83% 4) Ted Cruz 80% (B-) 80% 83% 85% 72% 80% 5) Jesus of Nazareth 40% (F) Biblically unqualified – do not fear God. See references below. 0% 0% 0% 100% 100% Founding Fathers: John Hancock, George Washington, John Adams, John Jay… 100% (A+) 100% 100% 100% 100% 100%

Breaking down Jesus’ scores:

Is a Christian who fears God;—Jesus isn’t afraid of God at all; in fact, he consistently refers to him as “my Father.” Also? Not a Christian. On other measures that Andrew rates, such abortion, homosexuality, and transgender individuals, Jesus has consistently refused to take a position. He is pretty steadfastly opposed to divorce, on the other hand. Still, given some of his other problems, we have to give him a zero here. Calls for Christian religious liberty;—No: says “whoever wishes to be first among you must be slave of all.” Big zero here. Insists we have God-given rights;—Another zero, for the same reason as above, and for his clear instructions to “render unto Caesar.” It’s true that Jesus also reserves those things that belong to God for God, but since Andrew disqualifies several candidates for accepting same-sex marriage as the law of the land, fair is fair. Jesus accepted the Roman laws, even when they were unjust, and subjected himself to them meekly. Not exactly a crusading culture warrior, then. Is truthful;—High marks here. Jesus never was a liar. “Let your word be “Yes, Yes” or “No, No”; anything more than this comes from the evil one.” Hates covetousness.—Again, Jesus does well by this measure, having a strong anti-covetousness platform. On the other hand, he does have an explicitly redistributionist economic program. No word on how Andrew would score that.

Averaging things out, 200/5 = 40, or a failing grade in most books. To be fair, Andrew does follow a somewhat different methodology than I do. Because Jesus says he would not take jot or a tittle away from Hebrew law, Andrew imputes some interpretations of that law to Jesus, as though he had spoken the passages himself. I’ve limited the evidence to direct quotes from the gospel texts. I think that’s not an unreasonable distortion of the original evaluative process. Draw your own conclusions, but from the standards laid out by Andrew, I think the conclusion is obvious: Jesus is wrong on the issues, and wrong for America.