Did you watch the Fifty Shades of Grey trailer and think "hmm. There's certainly enough soft core porn-y looking shots of people not having sex. But it definitely needs more Jesus"? Good, because there is a movie company that wants to fulfill your needs—not in that way though.


The filmmakers behind faith-based romance Old Fashioned want to take on potential box office monster Fifty Shades of Grey. But they aren't worried about toppling box office records and taking down one of the most anticipated films of the year. Nope. They just want to provide a Christian alternative to a smutty film about people getting tied up and getting it on. Understandable. Via Variety:

"I wanted to tell a love story that takes the idea of Godly romance seriously," said Rik Swartzwelder, writer-director and lead actor. "A story that, without apology, explores the possibility of a higher standard in relationships; yet, is also fully aware of just how fragile we all are and doesn't seek to heap guilt upon those of us that have made mistakes." Swartzwelder plays a former frat boy and Elizabeth Ann Roberts will portray a free-spirited woman.


"A free-spirited woman," so sort of like a Christian Manic Pixie Girl? The tagline of this film is "chivalry makes a comeback," which means we'll get lots of lessons on how romance is dead because us womenfolk are way to uppity with our careers and independence from men. We don't know how to let men be chivalrous because we're too "free-spirited," like all those witches they burned in Salem. But much like Aerosmith in the 80s, chivalry is making a comeback. Oh I can't wait.

The filmmakers are no slouches when it comes to faith-based films.

"God's Not Dead" topped $60 million earlier this year, representing by far the highest gross for any Freestyle release. Co-president Mark Borde asserted "Old Fashioned" is the first faith-based theatrical release to specifically target the "underserved" Christian singles audience.

Good news, Christian Mingle users! Now you'll know exactly what to do on your first date, because this film comes out on Valentine's Day (the same day as Fifty Shades of Grey).

I have zero plans to go see Fifty Shades of Grey. But I am definitely not going to miss Old Fashioned. This is gong to be amazing. Thank you, Jesus. On a related note, I just watched Heaven is For Real and I highly recommend it for those of you who, like me, work a night shift and your entertainment choices after work are the Cindy Crawford beauty care infomercial or this film. (I DVR'd the infomercial.)