A few days ago, I revealed to my best friend that I was his Matt Groening santa; today he totally got me back, revealing himself to be my plushie santa - but not before he scared the shit out of me!

So, earlier today I was innocently playing my daily campaign (or five...) on Left 4 Dead 2 when the doorbell went (which is always scary enough when you're listening out for witches). A terrified courier quickly thrust a large box at me - all wrapped up in red tape and biohazard warnings - before getting away as quickly as possible! Cue a 30 second freak out that somehow the world of Left 4 Dead had blurred with reality and I was about to be attacked by a Tank. Then see "MerpyP" on the postage label and just get super confused.

I wasn't expecting any gifts, everything which had been marked as shipped had arrived and I was still waiting on my remaining exchanges to be shipped to me. I thought it could possibly be the second Arbitrary gift I had coming, but that's coming from overseas not from somewhere it could be couriered to me so I was seriously confused.

But excited. Oh so very very excited. The Biohazard warnings and Umbrella Corporation design of the box? Hell yes this is something I'm gunna love!!

This was a big box, but it was surprisingly light so extra confusion there! The decoration on it was brilliant though, really well done!

The letter on the front, which demanded to be read before any further action was taken, informed me that I was vital in the fight for life and that I had to suit up and carefully document everything inside... I raced to get thick rubber gloves, grabbed a trusty knife and attacked the package!

Once I'd opened it, I realised that one of my gloves was ripped but hopefully this will not have exposed me to anything, only time will tell though....... I am rushing to complete the required documentation just in case.....

Inside the box were three sealed Biohazard bags, and a large quantity of what appeared to be infected tissue - brain matter to be more precise. Although at first I was disgusted by these, as I continued to open and photograph the samples I found the brain matter became more and more attractive, even delicious looking....

The bottom of the box had a second letter attached, only to be read when the samples had been processed and decontaminated, understandably!

It was only when I opened the first of the samples that I realised which exchange this was for - plushies! Which was one of the exchanges I was most excited about in this round, so far santa seriously wasn't disappointing! The first sample was a Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead plushie, which is gorgeously sullen looking - as it should be!

Next was another The Walking Dead character, Hannah (Crawling Bicycle Girl Zombie from the Pilot episode). Previously this zombie had only elicited mild pity from me, but for some strange reason I now find myself feeling an odd affinity and connection with her... I blame it on the terrible headache and dizziness that has suddenly come upon me.

The final sample bag contained two specimens, which I find so disgustingly cute it's hard to stomach - their eyes sparkle! One pug plushie, and one unicorn plushie. Ridiculously cute and adorable!

Before I read the final letter in the bottom of the box, I felt the compulsive need to store the brain matter in such a way that I would be able to eat ..... access... it later... so found a suitable specimen jar for them.

My vision is very blurred at this point, and I'm having difficulty processing, but just about manage to make out the contents of the letter.... Which reveals that my plushie santa was, completely unexpectedly, my best friend! He requests that I name the (hideously deliciously cute) pug plushie, but I feel I have to go and lie down at this point, I really do not feel well at all.... Or maybe eat something..... I'm just so hungry........

Thanks James the gifts were AMAZING! :D