I was an atheist before I heard the Cowboys released Terrell Owens. Now I believe in God. And here are the top fifteen reasons the Cowboys did it. Oh T.O., we hardly knew ye. No wait, that’s not right…

15. Cowboys finally realized, “Hey, isn’t he that guy who…”

14. Wanted to test Owens’ suicide story.

13. New stadium ran out of Popcorn.

12. ‘Straight Cash Homey’, oh wait, wrong Prima Donna.

11. Heard Plaxico Burress might be available, were looking for more ‘street cred’

10. Owens wanted to make his own team with Adam “Pac-Man” Jones and Michael Vick.

9. Jason Witten was tired of sharing Tony Romo‘s love.

8. Owens is ready to start his illustrious NBA career.

7. It was Ed Werder’s Birthday.

6. Producers of ‘Hard Knocks’ wanted more drama.

5. Heard Redskins were out of cap space, wanted to see Dan Snyder have a ‘hissy fit’.

4. He signed up for the next season of Dancing with the Stars.

3. He went Bitch on them

2. Roy Williams is just as good at dropping passes

1. Jerry Jones entered a crazy contest. Your move Al Davis.

Want more T.O. goodness? Check out Over/Under with Terrell Owens.