I felt like I needed to watch this film again, before the end of the decade. And I think I understand why I gave it a 9

I think I’ll always have problems with this film in many ways. Some of the over-expository dialogue bugged me, some characters and scenes felt useless, and it kind of feels weird how little help Shouko gets in the first act.

Yet still, something about this film does something to me.

Shouya Ishida is one of my favorite characters of all time, mainly because of how well he embodies social anxiety. How he makes up voices for people he can’t hear, can’t look into people’s faces and constantly second-guesses himself. It’s weird. I think there’s a lot also that makes you put yourself into his shoes. The sound of the film is amazing. From the score to the soundtrack, it all feels like listening to Shouya. Kensuke’s a master at his craft and I’ll always look forward to his future projects

It looks great too obviously. I love the use of chromatic aberration, and the cinematography really shows how Shouya looks at the world.

But I don’t know, I don’t think I felt anything. And I don’t know if that’s bad. It’s one of the few films that force me to realize how hollow my life has become. How numb I am. I don’t know. My only feeling was of my existence and I get uncomfortable when I can’t ignore that. And I guess it’s good that a film can do that to me, I guess. But in comparison to Your Name (I hate the comparison to Your Name, but it feels right here) I feel like it doesn’t say any about myself as much as that. And that’s fine maybe. I just kept thinking about feeling like I want to feel bad but just not knowing how to. I should get that looked at, I don’t know why I haven’t.