Our arterial embalming service is just another cash cow, bodies that have not died from a contagious disease are in fact not a big health hazard, this process is mostly done for appearance sake, if possible we just do a basic, but before it is done we usually require one of the following:

1. The bereaved to be easily manipulated.

2. The body needs to be displayed to family and friends.

3. Just the fact they have fully comprehensive funeral insurance.

The best and cheapest way to preserve the body after death is obviously having it frozen until it is disposed of, but the concept of a loved one lounging like a butterball turkey in a freezer can be abhorrent to some, this kind of near thinking is why we decided to join the embalming game in the first place.

Using methods almost unseen since the 1800's, we are able replace blood and generally inject everywhere with a vast range of multi-coloured embalming products that help not only slow down the deterioration of the body, but remove that bloody horrible blotchy or overly pale appearance that none of us here likes to see when going to the fridge. We can even remove unsightly wrinkles from the elderly, giving them that youthful facelift they couldn't afford in life.

Who would believe it? But a dead body still produces foul-smelling gasses and liquids as it breaks down during decomposition, who wants to visit a stinky corpse at the chapel of rest, more importantly, why would our staff want to handle it? By injecting fragrant liquids and preservatives into just about every cavity that we can charge for this problem is reduced, or you could just rub a little Vicks VapoRub under your nose like most of us here do when messing about with the dead.

Prices from £60 for 'straight cases', and £70 for 'PM' cases, bargain.