The case for decentralised dating, from a romantic computer scientist.

In tech startups around the globe, the women and men who are forging the next generation of marvels for the masses work tirelessly to get that new ‘fresh-out-of-the-oven’ application build pushed out to distribution servers.

These are the hardworking heroes, more likely to be schmoozing a venture capitalist at happy hour than musing over the late night schedule of a well-dressed hipster glancing at them from the end of the bar.

Other industries are similar.

In today’s world, we’re all working and we’re somehow also expected to Netflix-and-chill with somebody on the regular? Someone who might actually want to marry us one day?!

Enter the world of online dating. It’s the only option for the time-poor and technology-laden.

Gone are the days of grinding sweaty bodies in the dark, hoping someone will tolerate you enough the next morning to sit and have coffee with you before ghosting. Now we can shop for a date via private, opt-in experiences AND have something to do when your Uber driver is still six minutes away.

But if dating apps are so great, then why are they also so… terrible, and cringe, and also not great at all?

In case you haven’t heard, the Internet is due for an upgrade.

Now the promise of a decentralised future brings with it a buffet of decentralised apps (or “DApp”, if you’re hitting your character limit)to spice things up.

Have you ever been bored at a family BBQ and your edgy cousin suggests going on a walk?

Decentralisation is that cousin — a new choice, a little disruptive, totally cool, and definitely something the [boring] rest of the family disapproves of.

I’ve worked in this decentralised space for a while now. And as a serial dater, I definitely have at least two dating apps on my phone at any one time, now I think it’s time for a new choice!

So, if you’re skimming down to find where the list starts, here it is. These are the 10 Reasons the World Needs a Dating DApp.

1. Decentralisation is HOT

The centralised web is to 2019 what the record store was to 1999.

Sure, right now it’s the cool place to hang out with your friends, but in 15 years time, it’ll be torn down and replaced with Tesla charging stations.

New apps coming into market today are making some serious choices regarding decentralisation.

Do they toe the line and open an AWS account to host their data? Or do they succumb to the cool embrace of a distributed web and ride that wave into the future…?

2. Your dating profile will be safe from friends and hackers

Remember that time when you left your phone unlocked around your friends… and then spent the next 48 hours bombarded by Tinder messages from peeps who were either amazed that, “You’re so forward, I’m blushing” or “Offended you’d even ask that”?

I’ve moved on from it, too.

But as bad as that was, imagine if those people had held your profile for ransom and threatened to show it to the last person you’d want to see it…

For example, your long-term, monogamous, “We-just-bought-a-dog-together-to-solidify-the-foundation-of-our-relationship”, partner?

That is just what happened in 2015, when the dating site, Ashley Madison, experienced a data breach exposing 25 gigabytes of user data.

Of course, this information was quickly made searchable by the hard working elves of the dark web, so it was easy to find out that Brian from your Lindy Hop classes was hiding a dark and terrible secret… or at least a secret spouse!

3. Because the clock is ticking until you run into one of your parents on OkCupid

When the bro from the gym flashed across your screen, you shrugged it off.

When you accidentally swiped right on your niece’s gymnastics instructor, you claimed you were just messing around with your friends.

But #tfw — you see your dad using that photo you took of him on your post-graduation road trip as his dating profile pic — now that is a nightmare inducing!

Remember when you had to concede that you could no longer afford to post your drunken misadventures on Facebook?

Well, everyone has a centralised dating app today. (I could name people that would shock you!) They’re worn-out wastelands of places.

The decentralised space is uncharted territory; the digital ‘Wild West’.

It’s a land grab, and the race is on! There will be SOOO many fresh faces.

Which leads me to my next point…

4. You just KNOW a dating DApp would be full of desirable makers, hackers, and 10x engineers

Maybe I’m biased but if you’re reading this, I can probably already guess your type…

You’re not the kind to spend the majority of your free evenings with your Uber Eats, engrossed in Fortnite, or letting the first season of whatever-Netflix-is-hocking roll along in the background of your life.

No, you’re the ‘work hard-play hard’ type. You don’t like to let the world change you. You know it’s you who should be changing the world.

Well, it’s just a hunch, but I suspect that people like you are just the kind of people who’d flock to a hot new dating DApp.

They’re the risk-takers; those confident achievers who don’t need dates to validate themselves; the ones who are getting theirs and want to share it with the world.

5. Catfishing could have SERIOUS consequences

Some of the less exciting connections generated on the internet are those unknowingly made with fictional characters being played by complete strangers.

That’s right — ‘catfishing’ — and if you’re like me, you probably know multiple people who have experienced it.

In fact, it seems so commonplace now that people speak about it as a matter of fact. It’s just something that happens, they say. Accept it.

Well, I don’t.

Fortunately, the same work being used to solve the world’s financial problems can be used to help ensure that the ‘too good to be true’ connection you made is in fact, the real deal.

You see, many decentralised services rely on something called KYC security.

In short, it means you prove yourself to the network by demonstrating that you have something only a real person would have — like maybe a driver’s license.

It’s still identifying, but in a limited way, and ongoing research is trying to find ways of performing KYC security with even fewer personal details.

Bringing KYC into dating DApps will mean you can go forth and meet those suspiciously beautiful and intimidating people IRL with confidence.

If it’s truly meant to be, I’m sure you’ll find another way to sabotage yourself.

6. Stake the date

Between blockchains, cryptocurrency exchanges and tech startups, there is a massive amount of gambling happening in this space, like staking.

So let’s talk really quick about the concept.

Staking is a way to increase trust in a decentralised system by de-incentivising bad behavior. If you can’t already see a million applications of this in date-space, let me paint you a picture…

I receive a connection request in my DApp. Yay!

Then when I accept the connection, we both stake a certain number of tokens, and not necessarily the same number. We can now start a conversation. But, this is where things get amazing…

Through something known as a smart contract, the decentralised system can de-incentivise all the jerky things we’ve grown to hate about dating.

Oh, you just ghosted me? Cool, I’ll use your stake to buy myself the big ice cream.

Is someone being a stupid bully? Flag them, and the system will redirect part of their stake to a non-profit fighting against cyber-bullying.

Nothing to talk about? No problem — just tell the DApp you’re not feeling it with this one and reclaim your stake.

7. Play matchmaker and profit!

Alright, let’s be real honest with each other for a minute. Tell me you wouldn’t love having a secret look into Tinder to see which matches actually went out, actually got along, and actually had their dream weddings together.

Could you have predicted it? Want to get paid to do just that?

This isn’t just a pipe dream. You could literally build that DApp tomorrow.

The lonely and lustful could post their profiles and add bounties (remember staking?) for getting matched up with a special someone.

Prospective cupids could also stake on their ability to make matches.

Rewards rain on those able to mine relationships, and everyone lives happily ever after.

8. All the hilarious DApp names

Improv troupes and acapella groups will have some tough competition.

It is amazing fun coming up with names for dating DApps. These are just a few of the rejects below, after I kept all the best ones for myself.

DAppMe, DAppThat, DApp-able, Look at DApp!, HotDApp, The D App, Distributed Love, Whips & Blockchains, Consent-us, BeMiner, aDAPPtable, Love Token №9, and my personal fav, Looking DApper.

(Side note — If you have any more snappy DApp names that are just right for the dating scene, hit us up on Twitter — we want the chance to lol at them too!)

9. There’s just something about Doughnuts…

I don’t pretend to know everything about decentralised services. How could I? It’s an enormous space! But, yeah… Doughnuts. This is surely some kind of new and exciting thing. Let me break down for you what I know…

You can think of a doughnut as the $20 your mom used to leave you for pizza when she went out to do whatever it is that grownups did back then.

There were a few restrictions, but it was basically your money.

This is how a Doughnut works — it’s a proof of delegation for you to do something in someone else’s name.

For example, when you and I launch our dating DApp startup, our DAppers might use a Doughnut to give someone the ability to send 10 messages.

Sending more than that would require a new Doughnut.

We could also partner with restaurants, who will send out Doughnuts rewards for being matched up with someone and verifying you actually went on a date to the restaurant… A pretty sweet deal, right?!

10. The only one selling your dating history is you… if you want to

Do I still need to talk about the privacy aspect of decentralised applications?

By their very nature, DApps need to be, and are, private.

The data is basically just flying around, so developers need their encryption game to be on point. So this is what they do. The same technology used to encrypt your online purchases is used to encrypt everything you do in a decentralised app. NO ONE can read it. Only you have the key.

This system just does not work for the existing dating apps. If you’re using one of those, then your dating profile is definitely one nugget in a giant data mine.

Researchers pour over your history, examining things like how quickly you reply to messages, how likely you are to respond to someone who just says “Hi”, and why guys with dogs in their profile pic get 34.3 times more dates than guys with fish…

Maybe you don’t care about that. Sure. Fine.

But wouldn’t you like to have the choice?

And maybe get something for giving someone your valuable data?

I’d give a DApp access to my profile for say… free garlic bread on every date.

I think each of us should have a seat at the table when negotiating the value of our data.

Until next time…

Paul

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Got a question for Paul or another member of Team Sylo?

Got more reasons why you do or don’t think dating DApps are a good idea?

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