WASHINGTON—Claiming that the find will aid humanity in unraveling the origins of both our solar system and the mysterious equine species, NASA scientists working a dig site in Arizona have discovered the impact crater of the meteorite Friday that first brought horses to the earth. “According to carbon dating of reidite deposits found in hoofprints dotting the crater, the meteorite impact occurred in the early Cenozoic era, about 30 million years ago, bringing a herd of Equidae to our planet,” said NASA Administrator Jim Bridenstine, noting the findings go against the long-accepted theory that single-celled horses evolved on Earth and steadily developed into the quadrupedal domesticated mammals we know today. “Though we have yet to find fossilized oats, apples, or sugar cubes, it’s clear that the rocky body which fell here contained enough water to allow these primal ponies to survive in interplanetary space.” NASA also announced plans to investigate the possibility that present-day seahorses descended from microscopic equines on a meteorite that made earthfall in the Atlantic Ocean.

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