Disclaimer: the idea and characters of Dragon Ball are owned by Akira Toriyama. This is a simple non-profit fan parody.

Chapter 5 - Dungeons and Dragon Balls

Outskirts of Konsai Town, Bulma's capsule house, yesterday

"Bulma?"

"Yes, Goku?"

She had arranged the bed inside the windowless closet in which they had agreed he would stay, and now he was about to go to sleep. She didn't put him down as the type to ask to be either tucked in or told a bedtime story though.

"The house we're in - it's all a capsule, right? So if I were to... cause trouble, could you just turn it back into a capsule with me inside? What would happen? Would that stop me?"

Some bedtime story this would end up being.

Bulma sighed. "Well, yes, it would. You would die. That's one of the three Brief's Laws of capsule statics."

She sat down next to him, on the bed.

"When my father created capsules for the first time, before I was born, he started experimenting to verify all their properties, and he discovered these laws. They seemed to be first principles, and they're the first thing that is taught to every student in every course on capsules. It's the ABC of capsule safety, in fact. So I guess it's time to get you through them too."

"Law number one: all dynamical processes in an encapsulated object come to a halt. Movement, chemical reactions, everything. The encapsulated object is effectively frozen in time. So, for example, if you encapsulated a clock, no matter how much time passes, when you pop it up it will still show the same time it did originally."

"There are clocks in this house, though." pointed out Goku.

"Yes, there are, but they're all digital, and they re-synch via radio signal every time I pop it up. Now, you could assume this would be a safe way to at least live until as far in the future as you like - just freeze yourself inside a capsule and get out in a few hundred years - but here comes the biggest issue, law number two."

"Law number two states that all living beings with a brain immediately die upon being encapsulated. This is the least understood of the three laws - though now that I know about the probable existence of souls, I can make guesses."

Goku frowned. "Has this been experimented on humans?"

"We're not monsters, you know! We experimented on animals. It always checked out. They all died. Their body froze in whatever condition it was before the encapsulation. When restored, everything seemed perfectly fine, but brain activity just would not restart. And also, unfortunately, there were a couple accidents with workers or careless users in the early days, so yes, we do know it happens to humans too. For this reason, in fact, stay assured, there's plenty of safety mechanisms in a house like this. Thermal, humidity and CO2 sensors that will block re-encapsulation if there's only the suspicion of there being a human being or a big animal inside the house."

"Finally, law number three states that no capsule should ever be left inside another capsule. If it does, then it will break down, and anything it contained will be lost forever. There are sensors to try and prevent that from happening as well."

She patted Goku's head.

"But rest assured, you will not be left inside here while I re-encapsulate the house to trap you. There will be no need to do anything so drastic. You will not transform. And if you were to, well, I'd just take a plane and go observe you from a safe distance until you turn back."

She smiled.

"And now that you've had your bedtime science lesson, you can go to sleep."

"My what?"

"Goodnight!"

She turned the light off and left.

East tower, Residence Wing A, third floor, 10:45 PM

Bulma's nervous fit lasted for a while. For a few minutes, she either smashed pillows one onto each other, punched the mattress, or buried her mouth in the duvet and screamed incoherently about how she simply had had enough of this whole madness, how no boyfriend was going to be worth having a gun pointed at her in two separate occasions in just two days, and how utterly incredible was that you just had to step out of the city to find yourself in a world apparently held tight in the clutch of criminals, madmen, or both. Goku observed the outburst sitting calmly, without batting an eye, and taking in a significant amount of new vocabulary (most of it profanities). At the end of it, Bulma was exhausted, was panting, and her voice was somewhat hoarse.

"Are you finished?" asked Goku.

Bulma stared at him with eyes burning with anger, while standing on all fours on the bed.

"That crazy bitch," she hissed, "was about to shoot me."

And she let herself fall down, exhausted.

"Now I'm finished."

"I'm sorry, perhaps I should have intervened?" said Goku, regretful. "I know it would have hurt you if she did that."

"Nah, you did the right thing. It would have made the situation more complicated. I talked myself out of it anyway."

Bulma raised her eyebrow, suddenly noticing something.

"What do you mean, 'hurt'? It would have killed me. Where'd you get that idea?"

Goku was confused. "Well, back when you were a carrot..."

"I so hate that that sentence even exists and makes sense to me."

"...back then, I got hit by one of the rabbit's men. They were launching these tiny metal things with their guns. See? I still have a bruise."

He produced his arm as evidence. Bulma came closer to take a look. The spot that had been hit was indeed now taking a dark violet hue.

"Fantastic," she said, "apparently you're also bulletproof. Now I really want to just unload a whole cartridge on you."

"You mean as a scientific experiment, or as a misguided way of relieving your frustration?"

"Both."

She stood still for a while, staring into the void and reordering her thoughts. She had a few ideas about her next moves. It had to be all pretty improvised - as it turned out, walking straight into the home turf of the enemy just to prove a point to her scrupled comrade had not been the smartest idea. When all the cleverness you have over the naive little bumpkin who thinks someone is good and wants to go right to them is thinking someone is bad and still going right to them, well, that isn't much in the way of cleverness at all. She had thought they'd just be fine, but under Mai's gun she had just realised how the ultimate chance of victory did not mean she couldn't end up being collateral damage. The invincible one was the kid with a monkey's tail sitting in front of her. And he could afford going through life while being innocent and trusting because he always had the option to survive the first attack and then retaliate in force. She didn't, though. Her quick wits were all that saved her back then, and now she would need to use them again to get out of this situation, and possibly get the Dragon Ball. Even one seventh of unlimited power in the hands of these people was clearly one seventh too much as far as she was concerned.

"Listen, Goku. We came here, we talked with them, I nearly died. I hope you are satisfied that these are not reasonable or sane people, and that we should not trust them with the Dragon Balls."

Goku reluctantly nodded.

"I agree. I am disappointed by the fact, but your theory was right. Despite not being supported by evidence back at the time."

"Except knowing people better than you," Bulma said with a triumphant sneer, "but well, let's move on. Per our previous agreement, that means that you have no qualms about forcefully taking the Dragon Ball from them?"

"I would not say that." Goku was carefully thinking about his words. "If all they ever have is one Ball, it is useless. That much is sufficient."

"But this way, you are locking away forever the possibility to use the Dragon Balls for anything else. One of them will always be in the hands of this bumbling idiot and his court. So all the potential good that could be done with the Dragon Balls - remember, one wish per year, potentially for the rest of our natural lives, or unnatural ones, if we decide to wish so - is out of question too. All because of your refusal to commit a simple crime against property - stealing what will only be a useless doorstopper to them, if your own intention to keep the other six Balls out of their hands goes through. Not to mention, we will have to defend against the threat posed by them for the rest of our lives as well. If we fail, they get the Balls and their wish."

"Your reasoning makes sense." Goku was fidgeting with his hands, a frantic finger activity that seemed to reflect his inner one. "But while I approve in general, I still do not feel like taking part in such an action personally. I am sorry, I know it is not coherent of me. But I do not feel like encouraging myself to make... exceptions to rules. No matter the reason."

"It's alright. I did not expect that much of you. But you will not go as far as stop me from doing it, will you?"

"Yes. It's definitely the lesser evil."

"Perfect. That is all I need. Now give me a minute."

Bulma got up from the bed and retrieved her bag. She unhinged it from its shoulder strap and clipped it in to her belt as a pouch, in a way that allowed her more freedom of movement. She popped up a capsule that turned into a huge luggage bag, grabbed her gun holster from it and clipped that to her belt too. She picked up the Dragon Radar, and turned it on in silent mode. She rummaged through the luggage a little more, grabbing some other things that she put in her bag-turned-pouch, and one round device with a blinking red LED that she placed on the bedside table, then left the rest of the luggage on the bed. Finally, she retrieved out a black beanie beret and pulled it over her head. Hiding the shine of her bright blue hair might give her a little more cover while sneaking in the darkness.

"Ok, I am ready. I never thought I'd get to play burglar in real life, but here we are. Remember, they might come looking for the Dragon Balls, so hold the fort. Don't open the door, be on your guard, and expect unusual attacks. I don't have time to explain to you all the possible weapons they could use, so as a general rule: if you don't know what it is, don't touch it with your bare skin, don't breathe it, and don't look at it directly if at all possible. Just get rid of it. Grab this."

She tossed a small earbud-like item to Goku. He caught it and looked at it from all sides.

"Plug that in your ear. I'll wear the companion one. You won't be able to communicate with me - courtesy of the jammer I placed earlier in this room - but you should be able to hear me talking. Listen up: if I get caught, or found, or I'm talking with anyone for any reason, don't come. But if I say the words 'Plan B', then I'm in trouble. Come helping however you can."

"How are you going to deal with the security?" asked Goku "When we came here, Mai had to push some buttons to open the doors."

"Don't worry about that. I know how to do it. And if I need your help, don't hold back. Smash through rock and metal if needed and when you can. I know the castle is rigged with traps so I did not want to risk it, but well, if it comes to that," she slid the key card to open the room, then tossed it to Goku, "raze this place to the ground."

And she disappeared in the darkness of the corridor, as the door closed itself back behind her.

Castle basement, Machine Room, 11:00 PM

"Your Majesty, may I speak my mind freely?"

Pilaf sighed. "You have done nothing else since we have left the dinner table. But please, Mai, do proceed."

"The decision to let these people in our castle was a catastrophic mistake, and if we do not act now, it will be too late."

Mai's anger and sense of urgency were so palpable, both Shu and Pilaf had stepped away from her a couple meters, just to stay on the safe side. Still, she was barely letting the tip of it show - her attitude was still professional, her movements extremely controlled. It's just that you could see that behind her eyes, and under her skin, was boiling a violent temper pushing for her to spring into action and take the situation into her own hands.

"The woman is up to something, I have no doubt. She's not the type to back down or compromise this easily. She needed time, and she needed to be inside our castle, and now she has both those things."

"My dear Mai, what could she do? Our security is impregnable."

"It would have been if we didn't let our enemies willy-nilly past multiple layers of it."

Shu tried to busy himself with the castle mainframe as much as possible. Not that he had anything specific to do. He just desperately wanted to avoid being dragged into this.

"We should just check on them. Their room is bugged, is it not?"

"Yes, but that is just part of the problem, Your Majesty." Mai walked to the mainframe's console herself. "Shu, put through the feed from the guests' room."

Pressing a couple buttons, the ninja obeyed. The room was instantly flooded with an unholy, ear-piercing screech. After a few seconds of suffering, Mai gave Shu a sign to cut the signal, and blissful silence returned.

"Well, that is suspicious." Pilaf shrugged. "But, I'm sure you understand, Mai, a girl may wish for some privacy I guess."

"Some privacy? That's a ultrasonic jammer. She's definitely up to something. Your Majesty, I ask for your permission to go guard the Dragon Ball, personally."

"Not granted." Pilaf frowned. "That would be unnecessary, the Dragon Ball is well defended enough that we would know immediately if something happened to it. We are more worried about our own person. What if you are right, but their target is in fact us? We could see King Furry sending an assassin to end our dynasty once and for all. We would like you to be at our side as our bodyguard for now."

"I am honoured by your choice, though I do not believe this to be the case." Mai avoided showing any emotion at that. "But as you wish, Your Majesty. Then send Shu."

"No. We have our own plans for him."

Shu raised his ears.

"Shu, can you check the situation on the Dragon Radar?"

"At once, Lord Pilaf."

A huge green screen lighted up, showing an outlined map of the castle. Two bright dots were visible.

"Though our resolution is poor, the castle is big enough that we can tell the difference, approximately." Shu accompanied his explanation by pointing at the screen. "This is our Dragon Ball, still held in the treasure room. This other dot corresponds to residence wing A, so that must be the other five Dragon Balls in our guests' possession. Held in some capsule kept in their room."

"Excellent, Shu." Pilaf nodded, satisfied. "See, Mai? We are in perfect control of the situation. Even if the woman tried sneaking out of her room, she could not get outside of the residence wing, let alone inside the treasure rooms, as she does not have the passcodes. Meanwhile, we can just go to their room and get their Dragon Balls for ourselves. If they're outside the room, all the better!"

Shu raised a trembling hand. "I'm sorry, Your Majesty. Do you mean I should go in the same room as, uhm, the coconut kid?"

"Surely. That is the path to victory. As Mai has often reminded us, the best defense is offense!"

"That is, uhm, all right, Your Majesty." Shu's voice took a pleading tone. "But you've seen what that kid can do. How should I deal with him?"

Mai scoffed. "How cowardly."

"Cowardly? You think you would do better? Is your skull harder than mine?"

"No bickering among our subjects." Pilaf shut both up with a hand gesture. "Shu, you're going, and that's final. You will be okay. You can pick up anything you need from the armoury. Strength is not all that matters, and we trust your cunning and stealth. Oh, and conceal your face. It would be a problem if you were seen and recognised."

The ninja sighed and bowed. "As you wish, Your Majesty."

He then zipped in a neighbouring room to go pick his equipment for the mission.

"Perfect. See, Mai? All your worrying was for nothing." Pilaf gestured towards the screen "Tonight, we will acquire all but the last of the Dragon Balls."

Mai didn't answer. She kept looking at the screen, where the two blips kept flashing, unmoving.

East Tower, Residence Wing A, first floor, 11:13 PM

Moving in silence in enemy territory wasn't exactly part of Bulma's usual activities. As a result, she walked carefully every step of the way, and kept listening to the slightest noise. Anything other than her heart bumping violently against her chest, at least.

Which was how she actually heard it. The distinct blip of one of the security doors opening. It was muffled, as if someone pressed a hand against the board to stop the sound, but it was there.

She experienced a moment of panic, then quickly shifted into problem solving mode. As far as problems went, this was not actually too hard. Whoever was entering probably was going upstairs, to try and steal the Dragon Balls. So if she just could hide, they would pass her by. She quickly seized the perfect opportunity - a closet with some cleaning tools and detergents. She squeezed herself among the brooms, and closed the door behind her.

"Goku, on your guard, they're coming to your room." she whispered, hoping her mic would be good enough to pick it up.

Then she dared make no more sound, and in fact tried to hold her breath. As she waited in the closet, she heard clearly someone climbing up the stairs with a very light step, running past the door, going up.

She would have waited more, but if the enemy had started moving, it might not be too long before they actually did something that would put an end to her plan too. She had to risk it. Bulma pushed the door open again, very carefully, then slid out of the closet, and started climbing the stairs down again, this time as fast as she could.

Castle basement, Machine Room, 11:20 PM

The room had been immersed in a rather awkward silence since Shu had left. The only sounds were the constant whirring of the hard drives and cooling fans of the mainframe and the occasional chirping sound from the radar screen. Mai would frequently and nervously check it out, hoping to see the successful outcome of Shu's mission play out. The two dots indicating the positions of the Dragon Balls, however, obstinately refused to move.

It was getting late. Shu should have had all the time to reach the room. Perhaps he was having trouble finding the Balls? Could they be hidden too well? Or had something worse happened?

Pilaf started walking back and forth, hands behind his back. Mai just kept staring at the screen.

"May I ask Your Majesty a question?" she said, suddenly.

"You already have. But ask away, May."

"Why did you tell Shu to conceal his face?"

"Well, that is part of our cunning, dear Mai." said Pilaf, sounding way less convinced than his words tried to make it seem. "Plausible deniability. If he gets seen but manages to escape, we can say that he was just someone who broke into our castle without our knowledge. And we safeguard our relationship with the girl and... her family."

Mai squinted. "You believe her? What she threatened?"

"It's a risk we can not afford to take." grumbled Pilaf. "We should tread more carefully than we did until now."

"Your Majesty, you should not let yourself be intimidated. She's just a skilled bluffer, I'm almost sure of it."

She bent down, on her knee, lowering her head.

"You are our King, after all. You should not show hesitation or fear in front of the enemy. They are not worthy."

Pilaf was taken by surprise. His cheeks got flushed.

"Mai, please, rise!" he bumbled, waving his hands in front of him "It's nice of you, but really, we would not be here without your valuable help and contribution. If we will sit on the throne, we will make sure you are handsomely rewarded for your loyalty."

The woman raised her head. Her eye caught the palms of Pilaf's hands, that he was showing open, and somewhat sweaty, in his moment of embarrassment.

"Your Majesty," she suddenly asked, jumping up to her feet, "may I shake your hand?"

"Huh? Sure, Mai, sure. You are very kind, but..."

Without waiting for much more permission, Mai grabbed Pilaf's right hand and vigorously shook it with hers. Pilaf was still confused as the woman looked at her own palm, her eyes widened in shock and alarm.

"Your Majesty," she said, "I am not the first person to do this tonight, right?"

"Well, no. That woman, Bulma, wanted to shake our hand too."

"And for the last half hour or so we've been counting on her not having the passcodes to enter the treasure room."

Mai pushed forward her own right palm. On it, smudged but well readable, was a perfect mirror impression of a few number sequences, corresponding exactly to where Pilaf had written them on his own hand with a marker. They were even labelled with letters to indicate which one corresponded to which room.

"DAMN IT!" screamed Mai as she stormed out of the room, leaving Pilaf standing alone, muted, in the middle of a big empty room full of whirring machines.

Castle dungeons, Treasure Room, 11:25 PM

The door of the elevator opened, and Bulma walked in. Her radar didn't miss a beat - the Dragon Ball must be ahead of her, somewhere in a two meters range. The resolution wasn't enough to guide her exactly at this point, but this was close enough.

Getting those passcodes had been a lucky stroke, and Bulma was rather satisfied with herself for how she had managed to improvise after noticing that something was written on Pilaf's hand at dinner. Her only regret was not being able to be smug about it in the face of those idiots. Anyway, this was just one more reason why it was so important to prevent Pilaf's rise to power. Who could possibly imagine having that kind of idiot handling State secrets?

Most of the room was empty - being a treasure room, it did not project a great image of the owner's finances - but that only made finding the Dragon Ball easier. What made it outright trivial, however, was that the Dragon Ball was placed squarely in the middle of a pedestal, on a square column, in the middle of the room, with a spotlight illuminating it from the ceiling.

Bulma walked up to the pedestal and observed it, without touching the Ball, for now. The pedestal it was sitting on was a sort of large metallic plate; it held seven slight sockets with a spherical curvature. The Ball was nudged comfortably in one of them, fitting perfectly. The plate seemed disconnected from the rest of the pedestal, as if it could move freely. A weight sensitive alarm, perhaps? Or something more sophisticated, thought Bulma.

A loud clanging sound came from above. Someone was knocking on the door of the elevator, upstairs. A voice came, muffled but understandable, through the elevator's shaft.

"Bulma Briefs, the game is over! Leave the Dragon Ball where it is, take the elevator, toss any weapons you have on the ground and come out with your hands behind your head!"

East tower, Residence Wing A, third floor, 11:15 PM

Silent and almost confident that if required he could be deadly too, a black mask covering his face, like a proper ninja, Shu stealthily walked towards the door of the room where the guests were supposed to be staying. He put his ear on it, and could not hear any voices or noises. If he was lucky, the two were already in their beds. Next, he extracted a copy of the key card he had gotten from the mainframe and unlocked the door. He waited another bit to hear if someone reacted, but nothing happened. Only then he pushed the door - slowly - and opened a small gap, only a few centimetres wide. Not big enough for him, but big enough for the small cylinder he had just unclipped from his belt. He pulled a pin and made it roll on the floor, inside the room. Then he closed the door.

He pulled out a filtering mask, and strapped it in front of his mouth and nose.

He counted to ten, waiting for the sleep gas to properly fill the room and stun the occupants for good.

And finally, he pushed the door open again, bursting in the room, confident that he would not meet any opposition.

"Oh, it's you." said Goku, who was casually standing next to the bed.

Shu froze in place. The sound that a finger could make when piercing through something hard and round rung back in his head. He drew the sword he kept on his back, and held it in front of him with trembling hands.

Goku seemed unimpressed, and did not even bother taking a fighting stance. He walked towards the middle of the room, always keeping an eye on the intruder, though.

"It is a pity that my sleeping gas did not knock you out." said Shu, puffing his chest out, and holding his sword on his side, ready to slice.

"I see, so that's what it was." Goku opened his left hand, showing that he was holding a capsule inside it. "Since I needed to get rid of it quickly, I put it inside the luggage and closed it back into a capsule."

Shu stepped forward.

"Give me the Dragon Balls," his voice was now too high pitched to sound very threatening, "or you will face the wrath of my blade!"

"I think you should not use that thing in a fight." pointed out Goku, very seriously. "At dinner you could not even use it to cut coconuts. You could hurt yourself."

The dog emitted a strangled noise and started coughing. Bent on his knees, he ripped off his mask from his face, since obviously not only it served no purpose, but was now so drenched in sweat he couldn't breath through it any more.

"Now that you've seen my true identity," he was panting and still occasionally coughing, "you have to die."

At this, Goku pushed a foot forward and pulled back a closed fist. "That is not going to happen."

The next few seconds were very confused for Shu. He felt himself lunging forward - he was not even sure why he was doing that as it was obviously completely suicidal, but he also had no choice really, did he? He screamed, trying to pump himself up, and clenched the sword, prepared to swing, while in his head the hope for unexpected victory and the nigh certainty of imminent death clashed and swapped places multiple times in a fraction of a second. And when the contact came, it was too fast to discern. He felt pressure applied somewhere, and he felt his balance go completely nuts, and he felt light, as if he was flying.

When his senses finally managed to give him a coherent picture of reality again, he found himself lying on his back, on the ground, with his sword a few meters away, stuck in the wall, and Goku sitting on his chest. The boy looked him in the eyes. His gaze was distant and cool.

"Ok, so now that I have you here..."

"Please don't kill me." Shu managed to whisper.

"...I wanted to ask you, why do you support that Pilaf person? He does not look like he would be a very good king."

"Uh?"

The ninja blinked, and then tried his best to sound defiant, as a captured warrior ought to.

"King Pilaf is the rightful heir to the throne." he said, even though it was hard to speak with that kid sitting on top of his lungs. "I will lay down my life for him."

"I see." Goku nodded "So you believe in bloodrights, or some kind of charismatic origin for power. Personally, I'm more of a social contract kind of guy. If you think about it..."

Goku went on to rant for a while on things that Shu did not really feel like trying to understand right now. He tried to wriggle himself free from under his captor, but the boy was strong and would use his arms to push him down in the perfect spots to inexorably pin him to the floor. He was not sure if he should believe that this guy really was as dorky as he tried to look, or if it was all just a ruse to lull him in a false sense of safety before delivering the final blow. Either way, it was not pleasant to be at the complete mercy of someone that Shu knew could smash his skull in a second.

After what felt like an eternity (so, probably ten minutes or such), the boy stopped talking and froze for a moment. It was like he was listening to something. Shu looked closer and noticed a small earbud in his right ear. He must be in contact with the girl through that.

"...I'm sorry." Goku got up, finally freeing Shu from his imprisonment. "I have to go now. I would really like to convince you to not pursue this road, but there is no time right now."

Shu was dumbfounded. He was really free to go? He recollected himself, patted his clothes to remove some dust, and went to recover his sword.

"Oh, right." Goku now was outside the door, but he looked back inside for a moment. "You said the gas you used was just meant to make us sleep, so it would not have done any permanent damage, right?"

"What?" the ninja turned for a moment, while still pulling hard on the sword to free it from the wall. "No, nothing permanent."

"Good to know."

Goku tossed something inside and closed the door behind him. Shu had a second to register that that something was the capsule he had kept in his hand this whole time before it popped up into a big luggage bag, and time restarted for all things inside, including the sleeping gas grenade. A white cloud filled the room, and Shu felt his mind go blank like everything else around him.

Ground floor, in front of the Treasure Room elevator, 11:27 PM

"Bulma Briefs, the game is over! Leave the Dragon Ball where it is, take the elevator, toss any weapons you have on the ground and come out with your hands behind your head!"

Mai leveled her gun at the elevator door, and waited for an answer. This was the only way out, so all Bulma could do at this point was delay the inevitable. Luckily, it seemed like she quickly realised that. A short time after Mai had given the order, the elevator started whirring and came back to the ground floor. When the doors opened, Bulma was inside, her hands behind her head as ordered. On the floor of the elevator was a handgun.

Mai did not relax. "Now slowly walk out. Don't move those hands or I'll shoot."

Bulma obeyed. She was barely outside when Mai fired, causing her to let out a small scream. Hit by the bullet, the security pad of the elevator started fizzling with sparks. The door automatically closed, following its failsafe protocol.

"Shu is going to get annoyed at that," said Mai, "but it was necessary. Now you can't try any funny things to go back down or recover your gun any more. And your mission has failed. You did not manage to get the Dragon Ball, or the alarms would be ringing."

"Would they?" Bulma smirked. "Maybe I exchanged the Dragon Ball with something of equal weight."

Mai smiled back. "Now I know you didn't. The alarm is not based on weight alone - it detects the signal emitted by the Dragon Ball as well. Plus, we would realise with the radar as soon as you got far enough from the original position of the Ball. You're just a desperate woman bluffing to gain time."

"What, you don't think I have a Plan B?"

"I don't think you do, no. I think you're all talk and no substance." She waved her gun slightly, pointing at a direction away from the door, towards the centre of the room. "Now follow me. Coming into our base to steal from us. Some cheek you have."

Bulma obeyed. She walked in a weird way though - almost as if keeping her head awkwardly twisted so that Mai wouldn't see her right ear.

"Come here!" she shouted, grabbing her arm and pulling it violently towards her. She twisted Bulma's head. Sure enough, she was wearing some kind of communication device. Mai ripped it off, threw it on the ground and stomped it with her foot.

"One more backup plan down." she said, unamused. "Any other surprises for me?"

Bulma shrugged, insofar as you could possibly do that with your hands in the position she had hers. "Just my parents and the entirety of the Royal Defense Force ready to come here and steamroll your sorry asses if you as much as lay a finger on me."

"Yeah, not buying that either, rich girl. Maybe you are who you say you are, but if that's it, I'm sure you didn't tell your parents anything. This is you spoiled brats' idea of a little escapade to draw attention on yourself. You hoping to go back to your parents and find them all worried for you or something? Maybe bringing along a cute new boyfriend?"

Bulma blushed so hard, you almost couldn't tell her lips from the rest of her face.

"Touched a nerve, I see." Mai smirked. "You chose the wrong game to play, rich girl. This isn't your private school's debate club."

A loud, metallic sound came from a nearby door.

Mai turned around, alarmed. "What's that?"

Again, the same sound. Like something small but fast smashing shoulder-first into the steel plates. The plaster and concrete around it started cracking under the pressure.

Bulma smiled. "That's the debate club champion."

The other woman looked confused, then had a moment of realisation. "Of course. The kid. Should have imagined Shu would fail at dealing with him. Well, I won't make the same mistake."

Bulma shrugged. "Suit yourself."

Mai walked to the front of the door that Goku was trying to knock down - it was a testament to the quality of construction of this place, Bulma thought, that it had managed to withstand multiple hits from that kid without breaking. Another hit came, and Mai pointed her gun straight at the center of the door, approximately where she would have expected the kid's head to be, given his height. Then she used her other hand to input the passcode to the door.

The door slid open as Goku was charging straight for the fourth time. He only had time to raise his eyes in surprise before Mai fired her gun straight at him and hit him in the forehead. Goku was knocked back a meter by the blow and landed on the floor.

Then he jumped back up, with nothing but a bruise between his eyes, and a rather pissed off look.

Mai's mouth was agape. "What the..."

And in that moment of distraction, Bulma swung her bag, now unclipped from her belt, and smashed it right into the side of her head. Mai staggered and fell to the side.

"Thanks for giving me that opening, Goku!" she said. "Now let's go!"

"That hurt, you know."

"Couldn't have done anything either way. Good thing it only did that!"

"YOU!" roared Mai, getting back on her feet. Bulma let out a scream and pushed Goku back in the corridor where he had come from.

"Quick, smash that keypad!"

Goku hit the pad with his fist, and instantaneously the door closed back, just in time to leave out the still groggy Mai, who now could only scream at them and punch the metal.

"What the heck." Bulma stared in disbelief. "I thought that would knock her down for hours. It always works in movies."

"That is not how it works." said Goku "Whatever these movies are, they don't sound like a reliable source of knowledge about the human body."

"Says the guy who just took a bullet to the forehead and barely got fazed. Let's go, before she somehow unlocks the damn thing."

They started climbing up the stairs. They were at the first floor when they heard a small explosion downstairs, and a cloud of smoke rose through the stairs, signalling the door had been forcefully removed. They sped up their pace.

"Where are we going?" asked Goku.

"Our room, right? Let's pick up our stuff and then leave."

"The problem is I left it locked, with Shu inside." Goku was sounding a little concerned now. "Flooded with sleeping gas."

"Oh, great." Bulma stopped. "What then?"

"I can beat Mai up." suggested Goku.

"Not while I'm around. I don't want to get caught in the crossfire, and she's smart enough to go after me if she can't beat you. Let's just leave everything and smash out of a window here."

"But your bag..."

"I know. We don't have much choice. Open one of these rooms."

The doors of the guestrooms were made of wood, so smashing through one of them was much easier. Goku and Bulma got inside, and on the girl's order, the first started bending and ripping out the bars at the window. Meanwhile Bulma quickly pushed furniture in front of the broken door to work as a barricade. The dust had settled, and they could hear Mai storming in below.

"Can we go? She's almost here!"

"Done, the window is open. How do we leave?"

"Your stick. Follow my instructions."

Goku hesitated a moment. Outside, Mai was climbing the stairs and was probably almost there.

"What's up?" asked Bulma.

"The Moon." said Goku. "It's not perfectly full today, but I'm not sure if..."

"Oh, okay! Close your eyes then, I'll guide you. Grab me."

They got on top of the window sill. Goku was the one crouching down, his feet on the sill, eyes closed. Bulma was grabbing him from his back and holding tight. Outside, Mai was already banging and pushing against the flimsy barricade.

"Ok, now take the pole! Point its end down and forward, at an angle, then extend it down until you feel it touching the ground. Now imagine it stiffer - but not so stiff that it doesn't buckle a bit in the middle - perfect!"

The barricade fell. Mai entered, gun ready to fire.

"Let's go!"

Goku gave a slight push forwards and upwards, and they were in the air. The chill of the wind against Bulma's face as they swung felt like freedom - but not safety, not yet.

"Now make your stick shorter! Slowly. We need to keep a bit of balance and slow down our fall. Don't lose contact with the terrain!"

Behind her, Mai fired out of the window, but they were already far enough that it would take a miracle for her to hit. The idea was working - they were pivoting on the stick, like a pole vaulter, except the stick was shortening and thus getting them closer to the ground while shedding away some speed. It still all happened incredibly fast - just a few seconds - but for Bulma it felt like time slowed to a crawl. Here she was, grabbing onto this kid who was guiding their fall with his eyes closed, suspended into the air, the ground coming fast, bullets zipping around her, heart pounding in her chest.

And weirdly enough, enjoying almost all of it.

The ground came closer, and as planned, they weren't nearly as fast as they would have been if in free fall. Still, it was a rough tumble. They hit the ground violently and rolled for a few meters. Goku got up unharmed - and his eyes still closed - but Bulma was aching, and bleeding at her knees and elbows. No serious wounds, though.

"Ok, now we run!"

She searched her pouch, drew a capsule and threw it. It popped out to reveal a small car.

"Sorry about this, Goku, but it's the safest way to keep you from seeing the Moon."

She opened the car's trunk and guided Goku to laying down inside, then closed it. There should be enough openings to allow for some air to enter. Then she climbed onto the driving seat, inserted a gear and pushed on the gas.

When Mai finally managed to climb down the stairs and reach the castle's entrance, they were long gone. All she could do was curse in disappointment as Goku and Bulma vanished at the horizon, leaving behind a cloud of dust as their vehicle ran on the desert terrain.

Thanks for the reviews and follows! And sorry for the slow update, but this was a rather full week, and for some reason my writing speed slowed down. I hope I can go faster for the next chapters, and then I may take a little pause after the end of the Pilaf Arc to gather my ideas.

There was a question that I think might interest many readers, about whether I consider Super or GT canon. The answer in general isn't straightforward. Well, no, in the case of GT it is: I don't consider it canon at all, as basically the show itself seems to not consider it such at this point. For everything else, it depends. I'm retconning a number of things so I'm not being slavishly faithful to canon in general, and some aspects of Super irk me a lot, but others I enjoy - I like Beerus, and I like the original Super Saiyan God form. You could say I already borrowed something from Super in my portrayal of the Pilaf gang, in fact. So the answer is that mostly I'll pick and choose what I want to be canon depending on the needs of my story. I'll be generally much more faithful to DB and DBZ lore though.

Someone also commented on last chapter's title pun. Well, I won't lie, I might be a bit too much into stupid puns for my titles. So if many of you think it's obnoxious or immersion-breaking please let me know, and I might consider changing the trend.