Friday, April 1, 2016

Members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints around the world have just celebrated Easter and are now eagerly awaiting the 186th Annual General Conference. There is much anticipation for the annual report of both membership and missionary statistics. The excitement is palpable for the potential announcements of new temples.

To this great degree of excitement, the Church has announced a “special Sunday night session of General Conference.” It is to be held at the recently dedicated Provo City Center Temple at “6 PM, Mormon Standard Time” From the time the Church Spokesperson announced this “Special session, for Endowed members only.” The members have gone into a frenzy with theories as to why they are holding this session, and at the Provo City Center Temple of all locations.

“I hope they announce the renovation of the Provo Temple,” said one person at Temple Square.

A theory prevalent at the BYU Campus is “The church is announcing that they have bought the Univeristy of Utah! They will be required to play us in basketball and football every year, and they are being renamed ‘BYU-SLC'”

A popular idea is “They are announcing that ‘the Elder Holland’ is going to run for President” (He would have my vote)

There are even rumors that the church is going to announce the creation of the RMTC where, as the Bishop of the BYU 984th YSA ward put it. “they will teach the returning Elders how to get married.”

There are even rumors that they will be releasing the much anticipated new handbook for Returning Elders. “I hope they will be releasing the new handbook ‘Exalt My Daughters, A Guide To Returned Missionary Service.'” The Bishop of the BYU 501st YSA ward said hopefully.

(For The Free 17 Page PDF Ebook Of Exalt My Daughters CLICK HERE)

But the most common theory is “They are going to announce that we are going back to Jackson county.” To quote a member on twitter.

No matter what the members are expecting or thinking, this meeting will truly prove to be a once in a lifetime event, not only is it almost 130 years to the day since Conference was held in the then tabernacle, but the dedication of the rebuilt tabernacle as the 150th Temple adds to the importance of this event!

The Church announced the meeting will only last 90 minutes following the pattern established with the Women’s session of General conference. Priesthood brothers are hoping that Priesthood Session will follow this format in the future, but according to the President of the Conference Oversight committee, “The extra 30 minutes are for rebuking, and will not likely be cut out.”

This unique “Temple session” as it is being referred to, will have refreshments following the meeting at the Gazebo just south of the Temple. The BYU 777th YSA ward will be providing refreshments of Brownies and Chocolate Milk, with this announcement of refreshments following the meeting it is expected for Priesthood brethren to show up in force.

Parking will be limited to the first 50,000 guests, and overflow is not available. If you want any Brownies or Chocolate Milk a validated parking pass is required! The meeting will start promptly at 6:05 Mormon Standard Time.

If you have not noticed by now, this is a satire. I hope it brought a smile to your face. Enjoy your April fools day, and share this with a friend.

Originally found at My Life By Gogo Goff, republished with permission.