Saturday, May 21

Exam claims ‘income redistribution’ among ‘main functions of government’

"Whoa, there, professor. Bernie hasn’t been elected just yet..."

Whoa, there, professor. Bernie hasn’t been elected just yet...

Monday, May 23

Jewish student forced into hiding by Muslim protesters

Gee, it sure is hard to understand why The Donald might be reluctant to invite more of them in.

Student’s campaign suspended for two-year-old criticism of gender-neutral pronouns

You know, if this was as big of a deal to the student body as it evidently is to the student government, it wouldn’t have been necessary to suspend the campaign.

Of course, if the student government had the capacity for such abstract reasoning, the issue never would have come up in the first place.

49 of 50 UMD students sign petition to allow man on women’s basketball team

And, boy, did they become discombobulated when they accidentally referred to him as “man” or “guy.” They probably expected PC enforcers to pop out of the bushes and grab them.

Yale says opening of 300+ all-gender bathrooms ‘is about public signaling’

Talk about overkill! Assuming the Yale community has the same concentration of transgender individuals as the rest of the country, that’s about three bathrooms for each of them.

Tuesday, May 24

Mizzou conducting ‘diversity audit’ to make sure it has fully capitulated to student demands

Judging from the rhetoric that predominated at last year’s protests, that sounds like it will be a futile effort so long as there are white students enrolled at the school.

Students demand college punish ‘hate speech’ with expulsion, unpaid leave

Well, that’s one way to reduce lines in the dining hall…

Students plead with Montana State to reject $8 million gift because donor is pro-life

And all he wants is his name on a building. He doesn’t even want to call it “God Hates Fags Hall” or anything like that.

We particularly enjoyed watching the fellow who had to repeatedly stop to fight back tears as he delivered his incoherent objections.

Study suggests targeting religious students with social justice rhetoric

Uh, yeah ... there’s already an enormous worldwide organization dedicated to doing exactly that. It’s called the Jesuits.

Wednesday, May 25

Security fiddles while @Nero event burns

...which wouldn’t have been nearly so aggravating if DePaul hadn’t also made Milo PAY FOR THE SECURITY GUARDS HIMSELF.

Civil rights groups plead with UC Irvine to stop ignoring rampant anti-Semitism

“Zere ist no anti-Semitism here,” the Chancellor responded over the din of demonstrators calling for Intifada and demand that an errant Jewish girl be turned over to them.

UCI evidently prefers to trick Jewish Students into thinking they have the administration’s support, rather than actually provide that support.

Oberlin students say bad grades are getting in the way of activism

They could always drop out. That way, they would never get a bad grade again, and would have all the time in the world to protest anything they want. Yep, that’s a much better plan.

Thursday, May 26

‘EcoSexual’ students at SMC ‘marry the ocean’ … and consummate it!

On the plus side, maybe this means they won’t procreate. We try to stay optimistic around here, even when students start talking about obtaining sexual consent from a tree.

Skidmore gets $1M+ for courses, art exhibits exploring diversity

Considering how popular most art museums are(n’t), this one might have slid right under the radar if “Skidmore” didn’t sound so much like “skid-mark.”

Anti-speech activists drive Yale administrators to resign

Several students refused to accept their diplomas from a man with the gall to support free speech. Too bad he didn’t have the option of reciprocating.

KU ‘fires’ exonerated prof because she didn’t do enough research during her suspension

In other words, after the investigation failed to find any reason to punish her, the school decided to punish her for being the subject of an investigation that cleared her of wrongdoing.

Friday, May 27

Milo to DePaul: “I want my money back!”

Hmm … think there’s a lemon law that might cover that? Shoot, Illinois even makes pet stores provide refunds when dogs die, so this should be easy.

UMass caves to protesters, agrees to full divestment from fossil fuels

So, you’re saying a few stock prices might be artificially low at the moment? At least someone can benefit from their economic illiteracy.

Princeton protesters want more faculty with learning disorders

Easier said than done, we should think. But then, when you’re a B- student coming off a three-week hunger strike, you’re bound to say some crazy things.

UCI Chancellor tries to cover up long history of anti-Semitism

And he would have gotten away with it, too, if not for those meddling kids.

No plan to cut failing diversity program at UW-Madison

And why would there be? In Madison, they work harder, not smarter.

DePaul prof deems free speech ‘delusional’ while resigning over Milo event

Considering the exceedingly poor quality of a letter to which she presumably devoted a fair bit of attention, her students can only benefit from her resignation.

We can’t speak for DePaul, but after we “read this note from a woman of color faculty,” it was absolutely impossible to avoid “dismissing it easily.”