The ABCs of sex in Japanese: what to say to turn up the heat in the bedroom (or wherever you may find yourselves... )

By Sara Who Jul 26, 2016 3 min read

New relationships always come with their share of surprises — some a lot more exciting than others. Yes, you are not imagining things; I am talking about doing the deed, the horizontal tango, hanky panky or whatever you like to call it.

First times are usually exciting, but often nerve-racking. You might be wondering if your experience will differ from the usual, and if language barriers will put a damper on the mood. What can you expect when you want to get frisky with your new Japanese honey?

Thankfully, the bedroom is often an area where the language of love is mostly spoken through gestures rather than words. Even if your Japanese skills are elementary at best, you should be able to navigate your way without the help of a phrasebook.

Unless, that is, you happen to have a particularly vocal partner.

There is no bigger mood killer than a sudden grammar lesson in the throes of passion.

Trust me. I learned it the hard way. Nearing the end of a particularly steamy afternoon, my boyfriend said to me in Japanese: “Tell me to come!”

I was completely stumped. I racked my brains for a minute, but could only come up with a very hesitant and completely un-sexy: “Itte hoshii?” When my boyfriend started giggling instead of well, you know, I knew I’d obviously said the wrong thing. Sometimes, it does pay off to come prepared.

If you want to impress your partner, try some of these expressions next time you get down to business. A word of advice: to attain the desired effect, talking dirty in bed should always be done with confidence. If you can’t pull off these expressions while sounding natural, better stick to your mother tongue for now. I’m sure your partner loves it anyway!

The ABCs of sex in Japanese