You know what? I’m pretty sick and tired of conservative Christian heterosexual people trying to tell me what God wants for me. I’m pretty sick and tired of having my sexual orientation described as a “sickness” or a “burden,” or just some “trial” with which God has seen fit to “afflict” me.

Here’s something someone posted to me earlier this evening, followed by my response to him. If anyone who reads my wall considers saying any of these things to a gay or lesbian person, I urge you to stop and check your privilege and your presumption of superiority and greater understanding:

Adam writes: “Lorian, I don’t know you personally, but I have done a great deal of pondering on what it would be like and how I would feel to be in your position. I am sorry that you are burdened with this cross to bear.

“If by sexual orientation, you mean same sex attraction, I agree, that is not a sin. But I am sorry if you have been deceived into thinking that acting upon that attraction or entering into a relationship rooted in that action is, in some way, condoned by God.

“We are all burdened with urges, attractions, and orientations that, if given into, will lead us down the path of sin. I agree that some are much more difficult to suppress than others. But your Father in Heaven loves you! He has prepared a way through the atonement of his son Jesus Christ, to overcome all burdens and to find joy in this life!

“‘For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord.’

“God loves you!”

Here’s my response: Adam, my sexual orientation is not a burden. My burden to bear is people who presume that my sexual orientation is somehow different than their own, less worthy, less God-ordained, less special, less integral and intrinsic to who I am as a person. People who presume that something as important as who one loves, something as crucial as a loving, supportive partner to go through life with, something as necessary to lifelong happiness as a family — is or should be unimportant for gay people, when it is seen as the very essence of being for heterosexuals.

How utterly presumptuous it is to dismiss the emotional well-being, happiness and security of an entire group of people as “unimportant” or “just your burden to bear, dear.” How utterly pretentious and condescending to try to tell other people that God doesn’t want them to have the same opportunity for lifelong love, commitment, family, companionship and joy as God ordains to the rest of humanity.

Yes, God loves me, just the way God made me, and desires my happiness, fulfillment and joy every bit as much as that of any heterosexual person, not through some misguided attempt to force myself into a relationship which is contrary to the way God made me, a lesbian, but rather, through loving, wholesome, fulfilling love and commitment to another woman, just as God designed us both.

Everyone’s entitled to their opinions, so I suppose that you are, too, Adam, but when it comes to me, my life, my sexual orientation, my wife and my family, you should feel free to keep your opinions to yourself. I won’t presume to tell you what God wants for you, and you can do me (and every other gay or lesbian person) the same courtesy.