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Alan Johnson very nearly had the job title Secretary of State for PENIS, he has revealed.

And it had nothing to do with the honourable member's surname.

The former Labour Home Secretary recalls a phone call from then-Prime Minister Tony Blair in 2005, during his days at the Department of Trade and Industry.

Writing in the Mail on Sunday , he says Mr Blair called him during a reshuffle to invite him back to the Department as Secretary of State.

But he said the team would operate under a new name.

A Civil Servant then informed him the new name would be the Department of Productivity, ENergy, Industry and Science.

As he wrote down the initials, Mr Johnson realised with horror that his team had been given a phallic acronym.

A few days later, he brought the small matter up during a meeting at Number 10.

He wrote: "We chatted about the challenges I faced. ‘Anything else?’ Tony asked as he prepared to call it a day. ‘Yes, there was one other thing,’ I said boldly. ‘Why has the name of my department been changed to Penis?’

(Image: Getty)

"There was silence. Tony took in a breath and looked quizzically at the Cabinet Secretary who, in turn, cast a searching glance at the person next to him. The question was silently passed round all ten or so people present and left hanging in the balmy air."

Mr Blair reportedly admitted it was a "terrible name."

The embarrassing issue was, Johnson says, quickly resolved when it was established the signs with the new name had not yet been put up.

He added: "The absence of a Penis erection was the cause of great merriment."

Mr Johnson also revealed he was very nearly made Minister for Hell (Higher Education and Lifelong Learning) and almost put in charge of a sexually transmitted diseases taskforce called the Sexual Health Advisory Group.