Adele Tells Trump to Stop Using Her Songs at Campaign Rallies: Adele has reportedly joined Neil Young and Aerosmith singer Steven Tyler in telling Donald Trump to stop using her songs at his campaign rallies. Hell, after Iowa, perhaps he could ask one of the remaining Beatles if he could use their tune "I'm a Loser" as a theme song.

Goats Engineered to Produce Human Breast Milk: Scientists have successfully transferred human genes for breast milk enzymes to goats which will allow goats to actually produce human breast milk - a move that could eventually make human breasts obsolete. And if that day ever comes, people may one-day honestly be able to say they're reading Playboy Magazine "just for the articles." http://www.johnnyrobish.com



Long-Term Pot Smoking Linked to Poor Verbal Memory: A new study based on following thousands of young adults into middle age finds that long-term marijuana use is linked to poorer performance on verbal memory tests. Who cares? How much verbal memory does it require to say "awesome, dude!" Sea Lion Climbs 145 Steps to Browse La Jolla Gift Shop: A sea lion with an apparent love of retail, managed to climb the 145 steps up a coastal cliff to a La Jolla beachside gift shop, wandered around the store for about 10 minutes before turning around and heading back down to the beach. Hell, no wonder he left. You're not gonna buy very much in a La Jolla on a sea lion's wages. Come on sea lions! What fancy La Jolla gift shop is gonna accept a salmon or mackerel as payment?

Phoenix City Council Tries to Prevent Satanists From Prayer Offering: Members of the Phoenix City Council are seeking a new rule to try and stop a satanic group from delivering the opening prayer at an upcoming meeting. Meanwhile, in other satanic news, Liz Cheney just announced she'll be running for a seat in the US House from Wyoming. Hidden Motor Found Under Bike Seat Rocks Cycling World: The International Cycling Union (UCI) is reporting that a concealed electric motor has been found under the seat of a bike used by Belgian cyclist Femke Van den Driessche at the world cyclo-cross championships, although she claims she was unaware it was there. You know, I almost believe her when she says she was unaware it had a motor. Hell, I drove a Nash Rambler all through college and never was fully certain whether or not it actually had a motor. All I know is, if that under the seat battery had caught fire or exploded like some of those hoverboards, it could have made for a very interesting race. Anyway, that's it! From now on, I think perhaps I'll follow a more legitimate sport - like professional wrestling.

Bears Jay Cutler Gets Slammed in Fan's Obituary: Chicago Bears veteran quarterback Jay Cutler has shouldered a lot of criticism since entering the NFL in 2006, but a female Bears' fan slamming him in her obituary has everyone in the Windy City talking. Good grief, what's the big deal? Hell, its Chicago! Dead people vote on a regular basis in Chicago - no reason why they can't do sports commentary too!

Jump Shot Pioneer Kenny Sailors Dies At 95: While he never got into the NBA Hall of Fame, the man credited with being the first player to use the modern jump shot - Kenny Sailors - has died at age 95. Not in the Hall of Fame? Why a lot of players would "jump" at the chance to shoot baskets like Sailors.

UCLA Researchers Say Moon Formed From Head-On Collision: While most scientists agree that our moon was formed by a collision between the earth and a photo-planet named Theia, a group of UCLA planetary scientists have presented evidence they say proves that the impact was actually a head-on collision and not just a side-swipe. While some astronomers agree with the hypothesis, others say researchers are just claiming it was a head-on collision for insurance purposes. Deaf Man Stabbed in Signing Misunderstanding: A deaf man in North Carolina, communicating to a friend via sign language, was stabbed multiple times after he was mistaken for flashing gang signs. In an attempt to avoid further mishaps, officials are urging members of violent gangs to consider learning American Sign Language (ASL).