Purpose of Tests:

To determine specific weaknesses and/or strengths possessed by "Marshmallow Bunnies"

In order to determine said weaknesses and strengths, many Volunteer Bunnies and Control Bunnies risked their lives to take part in several tests. The tests were usually painful, yet not always cruel. They were as follows...

Apparently, the Yellow Bunnies are the more suicidal/brave of the species, with the pink ones a close second. Lavender Bunnies seemed to be content to lie in their natural state (lying side by side attached to their neighbors by the torso and ears) when volunteers were asked to come forward. Regardless of the color of their "skin" however, all Bunnies managed to perform their specified tests to the bitter end.

Marshmallow Bunnies are fairly brave, intelligent creatures (even when it comes to volunteering for dangerous experiments) that survived the tests with varying degrees of success.

Traitor Bunny: This is the Bunny responsible for selling out his/her own kind... it would appear that he/she was supplying the researchers with information regarding Bunny customs and hiding places, which enabled the researchers to "recruit" the "Volunteer" Bunnies. This may explain the slight minority of Lavender Bunnies coming forward and the eventual slight uneasiness around Lavender Bunnies by the Yellows and Pinks... Traitor Bunny may have been a Racist Bunny who warned his "own kind" about the experiments, and what they would entail. Unfortunately, this information died with Traitor Bunny when what was left of the Volunteer Bunnies Bunnies and the Control Bunnies got to him. The researchers tried to intervene, but it was far too late. On the plus side, the remaining bunnies were able to perform the Bunny Death Ritual for Traitor Bunny after they lynched him.

Mini-Bunny-FAQ

Q:Can I suggest a Bunny Survival Test?

A:You can suggest whatever you hoppy well please. But if I get another ÒVacuum Chamber TestÓ suggestion, I¼m going to throw my mouse out the window. I¼m sure it will land on a Volunteer Bunny and I can write it up. I promise, you will never see a Subject Bunny in a bell jar!

Q:Do Bunnies bite?

A:Marshmallow Bunnies have no mouths... Much less teeth... This is probably a good thing since nobody would want to chip their teeth when devouring Marshmallow Bunnies.

Q:Are there any more Tests???

A:YES! A sequel site is now UP AND RUNNING! The Bunnies Strike Back!(updated 4-5-99)

Q:These Bunny Survival Tests seem needlessly cruel and painful for the Subject Bunnies. Have there been any problems with animal rights activists?

A:Not yet. However this could change, as the email comes pouring in with threats of calling PETA and the ASPCA.

Q:How many people have written death threats or offered the opinion that you are a SICK SICK SICK individual?

A:I am not getting much email about these pages anymore..

Q:Are any Peeps (the Marshmallow Chicks) tests planned?

A: Let's just say that Peeps are vile, evil little creatures and cannot be trusted to accurately report sensations of pain/suffering during testing... Only the Bunnies can be 100% honest while taking part in the tests. Peeps also do not seem to have the attention span necessary. So we will see no "tests" per se, but perhaps something totally different...

Comments?

E-Mail: bunnies@keypad(add a .org to email)

This is copyrighted material, and may not be reproduced in any way without the written permission of the author. ©1998-2003, Mark Smith,(add a .org to email)

I get several requests a day from people wanting to link to my site. The answer is, Yes, you are more than welcome to link to this page at http://www.keypad.org/bunnies

Just Born Inc. produce Peeps, Marshmallow Bunnies, and many other products and obviously own all the rights to said critters. Go buy some... You know you want some...