Accounts of suicide and workplace bullying have been raised through the Government's mental health and addiction inquiry, Waiariki MP Tamati Coffey says.

OPINION: Watching the fall-out from a workplace bully, in real-time, is one of the most confusing things I've ever experienced.

In the mid 2000s, in an Auckland newsroom, I witnessed a calculating workplace bully destroy the morale of an entire team. If you're looking at the picture and thinking I mean the late Paul Holmes, you're wrong – it wasn't him. Paul could be a diva, he could lose his rag occasionally, and shouting in the office is never okay; but I never saw him deliberately, systematically undermine anyone.

The bully's targets were not interns, or young and vulnerable. They were not weak. These were mid-career journalists who'd worked for years in large newsrooms, covering crime, the courts, multiple-fatality road smashes. They were tough and capable.

I did not report directly to this person, and so I escaped the worst of their behaviour. Those that did not escape, crumbled in slow motion; they went from smart, confident, top of their game – to desperate, anxious, constantly second-guessing their own abilities.

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STUFF Alison Mau: In an Auckland newsroom, I witnessed a calculating workplace bully destroy the morale of an entire team. If you're looking at the picture and thinking I mean the late Paul Holmes, you're wrong – it wasn't him. Paul could be a diva, he could lose his rag occasionally, and shouting in the office is never okay; but I never saw him deliberately, systematically undermine anyone.

One talented and experienced reporter had to take sick leave on more than one occasion, when it overwhelmed her. The really striking thing about the experience of the chronically bullied, is the confusion they feel – these capable people could not work out what they were doing wrong, or why the work they'd always had pride in was suddenly not up to scratch. They couldn't work out why every interaction with their colleague/boss ended in disaster.

It was much like watching a dysfunctional romantic relationship, where the power-partner undermines the person they're supposed to love, until they truly do believe they're losing their mind.

We took a delegation to management and for a while it looked like the bully had been dealt with – but then suddenly, the news that this person would not be leaving, left everyone shocked and despairing. I complained about this about-face, and in a restructure, despite the fact that I had the CEO's personal guarantee that my contract was safe, I lost my job.

Legal action ensued, which turned out to be rather expensive for that company.

And that might be the real lesson managers who don't know (or don't care) whether they're bullies, should take from the current focus on bullying in New Zealand workplaces. Understanding that a high staff attrition rate, with the attendant need to constantly hire and train new people makes little economic sense, is not rocket science.

Even if you can't bring yourself to ensure a happy workplace culture for the sake of your staff's wellbeing, you should be doing it for your bottom line – if you can't even do that, what kind of manager are you really?



THE TUNE-DEAF LAMENT OF A THOUSAND BULLIES

I suggest you stop moaning, start listening and you might learn something – about how bullies think. Alison Mau gets inside their heads.

"Truly, I do not know why people keep insinuating that I am anything but a tough-but-fair, straight-up boss who very occasionally, needs to raise my voice a touch to give someone a massive dressing down in public.

When Susan gave me that report and I ripped it into little pieces in the boardroom. I was doing her a favour, for heaven's sake – saved her a trip to the shredder.

Look, you're all lucky to have a job, really. I don't give a rat's what your qualifications are or how many years experience you have or how many KPIs you've hit in the past six months, even when I do keep changing my mind about what's required or demanding you drop everything to work on my pet project then berating you for not finishing the work you're actually supposed to be doing.

This is a "robust" workplace where crises come and go on the regular; a workplace with "zing" and "excitement" (and by that I mean shouting and insults) and if you can't cope with me losing my rag and calling people things like "duplicitous pieces of shite", perhaps you should look elsewhere for a career.

Hmmm, what a marvellous word duplicitous is; I suggest you stop moaning, keep listening and you might learn something.

I heard an expert on the radio the other day saying bullies rarely know they're bullies. What codswallop. I could hardly have scrambled up the greasy pole of achievement in this very tough field to the lofty heights I now occupy, without a crumb of self-awareness.

Apparently bullying happens most in stressful workplaces, with cultures that reward aggressive or competitive behaviour. Where "power is misused and leadership is of an autocratic nature". I suppose that does sound familiar. But I don't feel that rings true for who I am as a leader. I have done unpopular things and some people do not agree with them, that's all. No-one's ever complained, well not formally. I did talk to a few people who left rather suddenly, but when I fronted them they wouldn't say a thing; just stood there quaking in their boots or backed slowly towards the door with that terrified expression on their faces. Odd. But if there's no formal complaint, then how can there be a problem?

People really need to take a good look at themselves and stop this PC nonsense that's sucking all the enjoyment out of society (by which I mean, my preferred way of working.) Everything is bullying these days, according to the PC brigade. I mean really, you can't even have a harmless gossip about the office gays in the lunchroom when they're not there. Apparently that's "not okay" because it makes everyone "uncomfortable."

That man on the radio, he got it right. It's fashionable to call it bullying, when it's just life, surely? Some people have power, and some do not. Simple. But that's not how I see my leadership style anyway, as I was saying.

Now get back to work or don't come Monday."