You’ve been casually banging this guy for a few months now, and you swear you’ve never done anything to indicate that you want to turn this “thing” into a relationship. But still, this guy seems to think you do, because he’s constantly saying that he “does NOT want a relationship right now,” like you’re stupid or something. Here are some things you might have done to make him think you want to trap him into a future with you:

You used a secret code.

You certainly didn’t tell this dude you want a relationship, so you must have accidentally spoken in a code that only worried, single men can hear. While you thought you were saying, “I’m only looking for some non-exclusive fun right now,” he might have heard, “I love to trap men with my vagina and keep them stuck there for life. I am lying just to fuck with you.” Now it makes perfect sense why he keeps saying, “I enjoy this noncommittal time we share!” every time you have sex.

You said words you didn’t know you were saying.

Remember last week when you thought you were talking to him about Game of Thrones? You might have thought you were saying, “It’s amazing how real the dragons look.” But maybe that’s not what you said, because he seems to have heard, “I want to be with you forever and always!” Why else did he respond by screaming, “I DON’T WANT TO BE HELD DOWN AT THIS POINT IN MY LIFE”? Obviously this one is on you.

You talked in your sleep.

Since you have no recollection of consciously speaking to him about relationships, marriage, or children, maybe you said all that in your sleep––something like, “I am a woman, so if I show any interest in you at all, it means I plan to keep you in my life forever and ever against your will.” That’s the only explanation for the permanently panicked look on his face, and why he shudders every time he walks past a bridal magazine.

You tried to propose.

The day you met him, were you standing straight up like you normally do? Or were you perhaps perched on bended knee, with a ring in your hand, surrounded by his closest friends and family? Really think about this. Because you casually proposing would definitely explain why he whispers that he’s “not a commitment type of guy” every time you have sex and this whole marriage proposal thing would explain a lot of that.

So if your hook-up keeps blurting out, “I’m not looking for anything serious, just fun,” whenever he walks through your front door, he’s not the one who’s acting weird. Consider what you could be unintentionally doing to cause such a reaction. You’re a woman, so even when you’re saying, “I want to keep things casual,” you’re probably wrong. Good luck out there!