As she works out a suitable reprisal for Elsa's affront to her very dignity as a princess, Anna decides to enter the dining hall by way of the kitchens.

The counters are coated in flour and grease stains as the chefs work doubletime to prepare what seems to be a small feast. Are the servants finally joining us for regular meals? I remember Elsa being receptive to the idea when I brought it up, but I haven't heard more on the subject in weeks.

"Ah, mornin' Princess!" A large man stoops behind a counter, alternately kneading dough and flouring his work surface with effortless precision. His eyes twinkle as Anna smiles back at him.

"Good morning, Fredrik!" She looks around, perplexed by the bustling activity on such a routine day. "What's going on?"

"Queen's orders. Can't say much more than that, I'm afraid." He winks, and Anna's eyes narrow. How suspicious… Just what is Elsa planning?

"I suppose I could be persuaded to accept that explanation in exchange f-" Anna's eyes go wide when Fredrik surreptitiously slides a small plate of butter cookies across the counter. "Is that chocolate dipping sauce?" She asks excitedly.

He nods, "With a hint of almond extract!"

Anna gathers herself, chin held high as she regards the man before her. "You are forgiven."

"You are too kind, Your Highness." He bows deeply, hands somehow still working the dough at a feverish pace. The act at once both impressive and comical. When he rights himself, the corners of his eyes are crinkled in a barely contained smile.

Anna's laughter bubbles forth as his mustache twitches. "Thank you, Fredrik," she says between giggles. She pops a cookie into her mouth before grabbing the plate and trotting toward the dining hall. She sets the plate down on a small table - Elsa had them placed beside every door shortly after Anna's injury - and twists the doorknob, scooping the plate back up and striding through the doorway to see her sister smiling softly at her.

Beside her, a haggard looking Kristoff sits, fidgeting with a napkin. Her stomach lurches and she feels the pinpricks of shame and anxiety on the back of her neck.

"Anna! I see you've spoken with Fredrik," Elsa says, glancing at the plate in Anna's hand.

She stands there, eyes wide and trained on Kristoff.

He rubs the back of his neck and smiles crookedly. "Hey, Anna. Fancy meeting you here." His smile has a small edge to it.

She hasn't seen him in weeks, and she expected him to remain absent for at least another… lifetime? He's pretty great at staying away when he wants to, and boy does it look like he'd rather be anywhere else right now.

"Hello, Kristoff." She clears her throat and desperately searches for something to say as she moves to the large table, taking a seat next to Elsa. Her sister is looking at her curiously but she manages to press on, "Did Olaf ever find you? Um, Elsa told me he went up the mountain hoping to meet up with you and Sven."

"Yes!" He almost shouts, grateful for the seemingly harmless topic. "I mean, yes, he met up with us as we were heading back down. He mentioned visiting his sister… I think he meant that big monster up in the cas-"

"Her name is Marshmallow," Anna cut in, and a pang of unwelcome annoyance stikes her. Why am I always like this with him?

"Uh, sorry. Marshmallow. Anyway, he's probably on his way up as we speak. Sven turned back to the mountain as soon as we unloaded the ice. He'll have company, if you're worried about his safety."

Anna simply nods, chewing another cookie and staring at a knot in the table. Elsa's eyes are on her and she feels Kristoff's stare as well. This is so awkward. Why didn't I just explain things to Elsa when she asked about him? Her heart aches as she imagines how excited Elsa must have been for this surprise to be revealed. My reaction was totally uncalled for. If I'm going to keep things from her, the least I could do is appreciate her thoughtfulness. It's not like she can read my mind.

I really am an idiot.

She forces a smile as she looks up. "We're grateful." It turns genuine when she adds, "Elsa and I worry about him sometimes, but we know you two care about him. Thank you, Kristoff."

Elsa stares at her a moment more before collecting herself, addressing the man. "Yes, we can't begin to convey what a relief it is to know that he's looked after, even as he regularly wanders away from the castle."

"He can certainly find trouble with ease," Kristoff replies, turning to Elsa, and his smile is slightly weary, "But he's good company. A little too naive, though."

Kristoff glances at Anna, and she bristles. She glares daggers at him and she wants to ask what exactly he means by that, but she controls herself. "He's just a child," she replies, jaw clenched. Stop looking for a hidden meaning, Anna. He probably meant nothing by it.

Elsa's hand on her shoulder startles her, and it's swiftly withdrawn. Still, Elsa's concerned gaze bores into her and she mouths the words 'Are you okay?'.

Anna nods jerkily and continues her train of thought, eyes back on Kristoff. "We're trying to teach him all we can. He just doesn't seem to understand consequences. Or rather…" She waves her hand idly, searching for the words. "Cause and effect? I'm not sure, but I do know that it's difficult to trust that he'll keep himself safe." That's right, stay on topic. There's no need to rehash any old arguments here. We're talking about Olaf. That's all. Just Olaf.

"Y-yes, exactly. That is why we're so thankful, Kristoff, because we know we can trust you," Elsa adds, and Anna notices that she looks a little anxious.

She reaches under the table for Elsa's hand, and is not surprised to feel both of them wringing together in her lap. She's probably desperate to ask what's wrong with me. I'm not sure where I could even begin. She gently twines her pinky finger with Elsa's, and the small smile she receives causes her heart to skip a beat. But the way she looks at me… I want to tell her everything.

Just then, the kitchen doors swing open and at least a dozen members of the kitchen staff stream through, interrupting the tense affair with food-laden platters balanced on one hand. God bless our staff.

A short, distressed looking woman is carrying a bowl that looks far too large for her to manage and she nearly runs to the table before she can drop it.

"Silje, are you all right?" Anna asks, standing from her seat. Her arm flares but she hides her pained wince.

"Your Highness! Yes, I am fine." She quickly glances at Anna's arm, as though she can't help herself. "Please do not-"

Anna ignores the pang of self-consciousness. "Here, you can sit next to me. Enjoy some krumkake." She smiles at the blush on the woman's cheeks as she pulls out a chair for her.

"I-I don't…" The woman's eyes dart nervously to Elsa. She places a trembling hand on the back of the chair when the queen graces her with a nod.

"You are quite welcome to join us, Silje," Elsa's voice is calm and regal in an instant - as though the uncomfortable business of two minutes ago never happened - and she projects her next words throughout the great hall with startling clarity, "In fact, I'd like to make it clear that each and every one of you is welcome at our table this morning. My dear sister and I would be glad to have your company."

The warmth and affection she feels for Elsa in this moment manages to render Anna speechless.

She remembers how rigidly their father held to the old traditions. While he was never rude to the castle staff, he maintained a cool and distant working relationship with all of them, save for Kai and Gerda.

When Anna suggested this idea to her nearly a month ago, Elsa was at the time distracted by a mountain of paperwork - or so it had seemed. It appears she had taken the idea to heart after all.

As the hardworking staff members tentatively take their seats, Elsa taps her glass with a fork to call everyone's attention. When all eyes are on her - when Anna's eyes are locked onto her, taking in the arch of her brow and the gentle curve of her upturned lips - she continues, "I do not expect this small act of hospitality will do anything to change the difficult, tireless nature of your work. However I do hope that it demonstrates, in some small way, our appreciation for your impeccable service to the crown. Of course, my sister and I are both well aware that a feast such as this imposes an abnormal burden on kitchen staff, even as it is meant to symbolize our thanks. We are not so full of ourselves that we would believe a single meal with us, skillfully prepared by you yourselves, is a fair trade for hours of extra toil.

"And so, it is in the interest of fairness that from this point forward, you will be given an additional day of rest." There are a few pleased murmurs around the table. "As well as," she adds with a grin, "a raise of roughly eight percent."

Eight percent? For the entire staff?! The murmurs give way to applause and jubilation. And an extra day to themselves? How on earth did Elsa convince the council to go along with this? Anna's admiration for her sister grows as she sits there, transfixed. She knows Elsa has an incredible mind for the minutiae of running a kingdom, but time and again she's surprised by the things Elsa manages to actually get done. The planning, strategizing, and execution involved in something as simple as giving the staff a wage increase is certainly not for the faint of heart, but it seems to come so naturally to the her.

Anna stares openly at the calm regard of a queen sure of her rule. A woman well prepared for the accompanying responsibilities.

Yes, it's true. Anna's awe of her sister blooms brighter with each passing day.

"We hope this change reflects our immeasurable gratitude toward you and indeed toward the entirety of the castle staff." She takes Anna's hand, squeezing gently as she gazes at the smiling faces around the immense table. "We will not have any of you feeling unappreciated or undervalued in our service."

Anna feels the pinpricks of tears and she knows her eyes are shining, but she's only half certain she knows why. As she stares at her bowl of risgrøt, she feels a familiar, cool hand on her cheek. A thumb wipes away the gathering tears before Elsa pulls her chin gently.

Her eyes are just so intense…

"Anna, is everything all right?" Elsa's voice is low under the din of the lively dining hall, but Anna hears every word. Feels it deep in her chest.

And it's like music.

I've gone insane. Truly and utterly insane.

She's felt something like this before. A pale shadow of the love she feels now. Desperate and cloying and ruinous. She likes to think that she knows this road fairly well. The twists and turns of it. The moments of wonder as one rounds a bend to reveal a majestic, fleeting view.

And of course, the treacherous dead ends.

But I don't know it, do I? I've traveled this road, but not once did I watch where I was going. If I pay attention this time, maybe I'll finally learn.

"Anna?"

Anna swallows roughly, nodding as she looks away. Her face feels warm and she prays her sister does not think anything is amiss, though she knows her behavior must seem odd. She clears her throat softly, and her voice comes out high and frenetic to her own ears. "I-I'm okay! Just… I hadn't imagined-" Words always seem to fail her these days. Her eyes fall to Kristoff. He's looking at her as though she's a particularly stubborn stain on his beloved sled, and she can't take the judgement in his eyes for one more second. "Please, excuse me. I think I need to-" As she stands abruptly, a hush falls over the room. Everyone's staring. You are embarrassing your queen. You need to go. Now.



Before something happens that cannot be undone.

"Wh- Anna? Wait!" The concern in Elsa's voice is like a lance through her heart as Anna runs from the hall, clutching her throbbing arm to her chest. She tears open the door and the familiar walls of the castle are a blur as she runs, searching for a refuge from her own traitorous mind. She rounds a corner, hard and fast.

"Y-your High-" The man tries to move to the side but Anna clips his shoulder and they both reel from the impact.

She twists but her momentum keeps moving her onward and she collapses in a heap, the scar on her arm feeling as though it will split open. She groans in agony, stubbornly clambering to her feet. She glances at the man, easily recognizable even through the shimmer of tears. "Sorry, Kai." Her voice is gravelly and low as her entire body clenches in pain. She gasps, holding back a sob.

"My goodness! Are you all right, ma'am?" When she nods frantically, he continues, "We should take you to Doctor Thomsen, o-or perhaps to the queen? Sh-"

"No!" Anna's own voice sounds as though it's coming from a great distance away, echoing through the halls. "The queen does not need to be bothered with this. I am fine."

"Forgive me, ma'am… but Her Majesty has ordered me-"

Her face sets to stone as she pushes the pain away. "That is enough, Kai. I am going to my room." She knows how terse she sounds and she hates it. Her eyes soften. "Thank you for your concern, but I'm okay. I apologize for the collision. Did I hurt you?" He quickly shakes his head and opens his mouth to speak, but she cuts him off, "If the queen asks, tell her I've gone to my room." Her body shakes with the effort of keeping herself together, but she keeps her eyes locked with his. I can't be here. I need to be alone. "Please, tell her not to worry, all right?" She hides her grimace as the pain flares yet again. "Thank you, Kai." She turns without another word and leaves the man standing there, and she hopes her curt manner didn't make him feel as low as she does right now.

As her arm continues to burn, Anna sprints to her bed chamber, slamming the door shut behind her. She gasps, tears streaming down her cheeks as she stands there with her back against the door and her chest heaving with effort. The vicious spasms of muscles she knows she doesn't have cause her to cry out in frustration. Her legs begin to give out and she slides down to the floor, curling in on herself. She cradles her burning limb to her chest gently, as though it makes any difference at all.

It'll pass. It always does. I just need to distract myself somehow.

She opens her eyes, staring down at the polished planks of her wooden floor while she idly massages her scar. A spark, violent and white hot, runs the length of her arm and straight into her chest. The pain is unbearable and she collapses forward, lying on the unforgiving floor. Pressure can provide relief, and so she squeezes her limb between her chest and her knees, trying to make herself as small as she can. Her breathing is labored and her eyes dart around the room. It's been this bad before. I can handle it. Another shock through to her chest, and she slams her fist down hard. Her scream is muffled, she hopes, by her mouth clamped over her arm.

"Anna!" The shout is almost directly outside her door. "I'm coming in, all right?" The doorknob rattles and Elsa grunts in annoyance. "Did you lock- Never mind, are you clear of the door, Anna?"

Anna clears her throat and tries to assure her sister that things are under control. Instead, another spasm tears a shout from her lungs, short and violent.

"Anna, please! I am opening this door in five seconds. You need to be clear of it!" Elsa's voice is panicked.

All I do is worry her. I need to be stronger than this. "Elsa, I'm fine! You don-"

"Anna of Arendelle," Elsa cuts her off, shrill and indignant. "If you tell me once more that I have no need to worry, I will freeze your stubborn, bullheaded lips shut. Now make way for your queen!"

And despite all of this, the dire situation, the agony, the anxiety, and the stress - Anna laughs. Full-bellied and almost unencumbered by her frail state, she laughs even as her throat burns from the tears and tension. Even as a new pang of lightning threatens to turn her moment of joy into one of renewed anguish.

A groan of exasperation and suddenly, ice cracks the doorknob in two. The chunks of bronze clatter onto the floor and the door swings open to reveal an extremely upset elder sister.

For a brief, shining moment, Anna forgets her pain. Elsa's mouth is drawn into a deep frown and her brow is creased in anger. She stomps into the room and stares down at Anna, hands on her hips. "My sweet sister," she grinds out, and Anna has never seen Elsa so irate, "I've no choice but to assume that you have forgotten our discussion earlier this morning."

Anna gulps. "N-no, Elsa. I haven't-" She hisses in pain and Elsa is down beside her in an instant, her soothing touch providing such intense relief that Anna curls into her sister's embrace, whimpering lightly.

"Then what could have possibly possessed you to lie to me about the pain you were in? T-to run off and suffer on your own?!" Her eyes are shining but she may well be too angry to cry at the moment. At last, she breathes a heavy sigh and her shoulders slump. She looks utterly defeated as she gazes down at her. "What must I do? How can I prove-"

Anna pushes gently against Elsa's shoulder, creating distance and meeting her sorrowful gaze "Elsa, no, hold on. This isn't-" Anna shakes her head firmly. I will not let her blame herself again. This cycle needs to be broken. "I promise, what happened at breakfast had nothing to do with my arm. I-I mean yes, it was flaring a bit, but that's a constant, right? I was just feeling… Overwhelmed, I suppose. But I know how much I worried you and I am so sorry for that. I just panicked, like I always do. A-and then I ran, and I hit my shoulder. Fell weirdly. That's all. The pain came after what happened at breakfast. It was because of my own foolishness."

"Overwhelmed…" Elsa echoes, and she squeezes Anna a little bit tighter. Her fingers gently brush against scarred skin and Anna sighs, trying to concentrate on her sister's voice. "I, ah-" Elsa hesitates then, as though she's trying to phrase something delicately. "I'd noticed some vitriol boiling under the surface as you spoke with Kristoff. And when you ran- that is to say, if it wasn't your arm…" She must be referring to the look Kristoff gave me before I fled. She… saw that? "You can," She shakes her head "I mean- Would you like to talk about it? About how things are going with him?" Elsa's lips are pursed, and Anna has the distinct impression that her sister is preparing herself for an uncomfortable topic.

"With Kristoff?" Anna squeaks. "W-we… Um, things are- They're good! We're good. Kristoff and I are… good." She falters under Elsa's piercing gaze. She knows her grin is far too wide, and the smile doesn't reach her eyes. Wow, I am just hopeless, aren't I?

Elsa arches an eyebrow, clearly unimpressed. "Anna, we don't have to discuss this. It is not for me to demand to know about your personal life. I just want to be sure that you feel comfortable talking to me about anything, all right? Anything at all."

Anna's eyes are downcast and she feels the familiar pang of frustration with her inability to be direct with her sister, at least in matters such as these. "I…"

Elsa hooks a cool finger under Anna's chin, bringing her gaze level with her own once more. "That is not to guilt or pressure you either, sweetheart." Elsa cups Anna's cheek in her palm, and when she leans into the touch, Elsa smiles softly. "I am perfectly content with my little sister having her secrets, but I will always be here to listen to whatever you want to tell me. There will be no judgement and no need to fear my reaction. Your happiness and safety are all that concern me, do you understand?"

Anna nods, giggling wetly. Her smile is genuine now, and she leans in to nestle into the crook of Elsa's neck. Her heart is thudding and her hand shakes as she holds Elsa close, dimly aware of her fingers stroking soft skin through the fabric of Elsa's dress. This must be the safest, warmest hug in the entire kingdom.

Elsa rests her cheek on Anna's head, and the throaty chuckle she produces reverberates through her chest and into Anna's entire being. "Well I'm not sure about being the warmest, but your safety is absolutely assured, I promise you."

Heat flares in Anna's cheeks and down to her chest. She groans pitifully in Elsa's embrace. I can't even trust my own mouth. "That was supposed to be private!" She whines.

"If it helps, I only just managed to hear it over your adorable little sighs."

Elsa's voice is light, and Anna smiles despite herself. She shakes her head, eyes screwed shut. "No," she whines, "That's not fair, Els-ah!" A well-timed pulse of magic beneath her skin soothes a rush of pain.

"Shh, it's all right. The worst has passed, has it not?" Elsa's breath tickles the shell of her ear, and Anna tries her hardest to stay composed.

"Yes, I think so. Thank you, Elsa." Anna's lips brush against soft, cool skin as she speaks, and her heart hammers in her chest. "I love you." Anxiety and anticipation war within her as she leaves a lingering kiss at the spot where neck and shoulder meet. I love you. I love you. I love you!

Elsa's entire body stills, and Anna's heart leaps from her chest. The fingers that were stroking her arm tremble but remain where they are, and the hand cupping her cheek falters for a moment before delicate fingers fumble at the back of her neck.

Anna releases another sigh, her breath chilling the wet patch of soft skin. And, as she has many times before, she swears she feels her sister shudder.

Elsa turns her head the slightest bit, and her lips are so soft on the sensitive skin above her ear. "I love you too, Anna." The breathless declaration, almost a sigh itself, sends a shock down Anna's spine.

I need to stop this. Her lips travel up, slowly up Elsa's neck, and she places another kiss just below her jaw. It's gone far enough!

"A-Anna…"

She can almost imagine the softly spoken word as desperate. Even wanting. She continues, her trembling lips caressing a soft, cool cheek.

What is wrong with me?

She brings her hand to the back of Elsa's neck, scratching lightly. Elsa's lips are parted, and Anna is coming so dangerously close to them.

Why can't I-

And then, with torturous care, she brushes the corner of Elsa's mouth with her own. She whimpers at the heat that flares in her chest, brow furrowed as her sister's name escapes in a whisper. When she feels a gentle hand on her shoulder followed by the softest nudge, she pulls away as though she's been burned.

"Elsa, I-" I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me.

"We should get ready for our outing," Elsa says, mercifully cutting across Anna's failed attempt to explain herself. She smiles tremulously, turning her head to look through the snow-covered window. "You'll need to dress warmly today." Her voice breaks and she clears her throat hastily.

Elsa doesn't look at her. As she extricates herself from her sister's embrace, Anna has the indescribable sense that something in their relationship has fundamentally shifted. The uncertainty terrifies her, and the childish need for her sister to reassure her - to hold her and tell her that everything is, or will be okay - runs wild through her addled mind.

Wow, was I wrong...

I'll never learn.

A/N: Happy Pride month! ;)