Me: “Can I help?”

Customer: “I want a refund on this instant barbecue. It’s no good.”

Me: “I’m sorry about that, sir. What’s the problem?”

Customer: “The picture on the front shows meat on the grill, but there’s no meat inside this box.”

(I am dumbfounded, but I don’t argue. The shop has a ‘no-quibble’ returns policy.)

Me: “Well, I can refund that for you sir. Do you have a receipt?”

(The customer hands over receipt.)

Me: “I can see you bought three of these barbecues, sir. Where are the other two?”

Customer: “At home in the freezer.”