Alex Wong/Getty Images Fourth Estate Six Ways to Manipulate Donald Trump Outgoing British Ambassador Kim Darroch’s leaked diplomatic cable is full of inside dope on how to bend the president to your will.

Jack Shafer is Politico’s senior media writer.

Kim Darroch, until very recently the British ambassador to the United States, was forced to resign Wednesday for leveling with his bosses about President Donald Trump.

In a series of confidential memos and cables leaked to the Mail on Sunday and published over the weekend, Darroch went off on Trump with the sort of vitriol that you would expect from a journalist trying out for a column in the opinion pages of the New York Times. Trump and his administration are “clumsy and inept,” “radiates insecurity,” “dysfunctional,” and “mired in scandal.” Trump has a habit of making things up, Darroch wrote, and could be indebted to “dodgy Russians.”


Nothing we didn't already know, right? But as Darroch collects his things in a cardboard box and exits the British Embassy, his most substantive insights have been largely ignored by the press. Several inches down in the Mail on Sunday blockbuster, the piece lays out strategies Darroch recommended to British politicians and officials for staying on Trump’s winning side. Far more damaging to Trump than the standard trash-talking he receives every day, Darroch’s strategies portray the president as an emotionally frail child-man who can easily be manipulated. The method he suggests is to pay constant attention to Trump, dose him with flattery, and suck up to his friends and staff. Darroch, in the Mail on Sunday article, provides a road map for how journalists, politicians, diplomats and adversaries can manipulate Trump. Here’s a recap.

Flood the Zone. Because Trump spends so much time in the Oval Office asking everybody for advice, the best way to sway Trump is to sway his familiars. “It's important to ‘flood the zone’: you want as many as possible of those who Trump consults to give him the same answer,” Darroch wrote. “So we need to be creative in using all the channels available to us through our relationships with his Cabinet, the White House staff, and our contacts among his outside friends.” Darroch bragged about having “cultivated” many of Trump's friends to influence him directly.

Be a Phone Buddy. Trump’s fondness for telephone chat makes the shortest path to the Oval Office a quick call. Darroch instructed Prime Minister Theresa May to capitalize on Trump’s phone devotion by calling him more often. “In a perfect world, they would be speaking two or three times a month, if not more,” he wrote.

Stroke Him. Then Stroke Him Some More. “You need to start praising him for something that he's done recently,” Darroch wrote. “You need whenever possible to present them as wins for him.”

Keep It Simple, Stupid. In making points to the president, Darroch insisted, be “blunt,” as Trump doesn't do subtlety or ambiguity. This confirms what White House briefers have said about the president’s inability to concentrate on anything more complicated than a couple PowerPoint slides.

How to Criticize Trump. Carefully! “Arguably, you get more respect from this President if you stand up to him occasionally—provided the public comments do not come as a surprise and are judicious, calm and avoid personalizing,” Darroch counseled.

When In Doubt, Toss Him a Glitzy Party. The British slathered Trump with pomp and circumstance and paved his path with gold leaf during his three-day state visit in June. It started with a ceremonial welcome at Buckingham Palace hosted by Queen Elizabeth. That was followed with a lunch with Prince Harry, a state banquet at the palace attended by royals, British politicians and executives, a breakfast with Prime Minister May and Prince Andrew, and a dinner with Prince Charles. And, he got to bring his entire family! Trump was “dazzled” by the visit, Darroch wrote, which was the Brits’ intent. “This was a wonderful visit, and U.K.-U.S. relations are now in the best state ever,” Trump told Darroch, who served as Trump’s glorified escort during the trip, as he departed.

Every president insists on having his ring or choice parts of his anatomy to be kissed, but there’s something infantile about the quality of fawning that Darroch says Trump requires. Reading his tips on Trump maintenance, I couldn't help but think of Dan Drezner’s brilliant #ToddlerinChief Twitter thread that has cataloged the 800-plus times the press described a Trump ally or subordinate treating him as if they were babysitting a petulant child. To prevent Trump meltdowns, we must all bow to him and make him the center of the world.

As an actionable piece of political intelligence, the Darroch memoranda will be shared by politicians, diplomats, spies—basically anybody who is keen on getting inside Trump’s skull and throwing his switches. For giving us this 100-proof Trump distillation, Ambassador Darroch shouldn’t have gotten the sack. He should have gotten a promotion to foreign minister.

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To manipulate me, treat me like an elderly fool with email to [email protected]. My email alerts worship the so-called royal family. My Twitter feed thinks Trump should be crowned king. My RSS feed's favorite song is "God Save the Queen."