After Ryan Hall announced his retirement on Friday, the reaction from fans and his peers was swift and emotional. America’s fastest marathoner, with a 2:04:58 personal best and the only U.S. athlete to break an hour in the half marathon, is hanging it up at age 33. After two decades of training at the highest levels with chronically low testosterone, Hall’s body is experiencing extreme fatigue—so much so that he can barely run anymore.

The announcement that Hall, a two-time Olympic marathoner, would not pursue a spot on Team USA for the Summer Games was abrupt. Now that he’s had a few days to absorb the public’s response, he talked to Runner’s World about how he’s feeling, what went into the decision, and what the next phase of life might hold for him, his wife, Sara, and their four adopted daughters.

Runner’s World: Talk about what went into your decision. When did you seriously start to consider it and how did you know when it was time? Was there a particular moment of clarity for you?

Ryan Hall: It was a very easy decision for me to make. It’s been a process over the last four years. Experimenting, trying to get my body back right—doing everything I could think of training-wise to get my health back, meeting with doctors and professionals, and tinkering with my nutrition. I’m really glad that I had four years to explore every avenue I could think of—work with different coaches, different training programs. At the end of the day, it all just led back to the same place, which was extreme fatigue.

It was really frustrating because I kept getting in these cycles where I’d have hope. I would be 90 percent fit, feeling like I was coming along, and really believing that this time I’ve figured it out, this time I’m going to have a breakthrough, this time I’m going to get back to where I’ve been and where my body should be. Then, all of a sudden I’d have another bad patch, have extreme fatigue, and have to start all over again. It was a repetitious cycle like that over four years.

The last thing I could think of was not even trying any structured workouts. I would just go into the forest, paying total attention to my body and how it was feeling every day. I was trying to give it lots of rest and nutrition. I still just got really run down and struggled with extreme fatigue. I’d go on 30-minute runs—jog out 15 minutes and walk back. I couldn’t finish them.

After that, it’s very easy to look at the big picture. I see that my body is just not responding to anything I’m doing to try to get it back. It’s just not there anymore.

In one way I knew in my head there was nothing left. That’s when I stopped believing that my best performances were in front of me. As soon as I believe that about myself, then it’s over. I’m not going to hold on and try to go after masters records. I’ve always been super passionate about maximizing my fitness and now that I feel like I did—I’ve gotten everything out of my body that I could—well, then mission accomplished. What’s next? Time to move on to something new.

RW: We’ve heard more in recent months about the health issues you’ve encountered. When did they become apparent to you, exactly? What measures did you take?

RH: It started out with brief episodes. It really started about four years ago, when I was training for the Olympics. For the first time, I wasn’t able to finish workouts. But it was just an occasional workout and never on easy runs. I was starting to have an episode here or there. Then the episodes started to increase and get worse.

The hard thing about it is that I can’t really identify exactly why, to be totally honest. I’ve talked about testosterone and how I’ve always been clinically low, but my testosterone levels haven’t changed. They haven’t gotten worse than when I was running 59 minutes in the half marathon. Does it still play a factor? It definitely could. But, I can’t pinpoint one factor in my blood tests—it’s just my body couldn’t put out energy anymore.

It was just such a hopeless, helpless feeling. It was the walk of shame. I’d go out for a run hoping and believing the best and then not be able to lift up my legs anymore. I didn’t know why, which was super frustrating.

It just got worse. The episodes would happen less sporadically and earlier in my buildups. Usually I could go through two or three months of training, then need a break. Now, it’s like I start training from zero, get a month in, then start having these episodes. It’s getting worse. That’s how I decide when it’s okay to run with an injury, for example. If my pain is sharp and getting worse as I run, then I always stop.

RW: Explain to those of us who have never experienced this kind of medical condition. What does it feel like? How does it feel when you’re training?

RH: The best way I can describe it, it felt like I was melting into the ground. Just super, super heavy, no drive, and this melting-into-the-ground sensation. It’s a terrible feeling.

RW: You chose not to get a therapeutic use exemption, though it sounds like you had a legitimate need for one. Why?

RH: I couldn’t pinpoint anything in my blood work that needed to get better. Testosterone-wise, I could’ve gotten a TUE for that, but there’s a lot that goes into that. First and foremost, your body stops producing testosterone and long-term health-wise I didn’t see that as a good option for me. Also it’s such a hot-button banned substance, it didn’t feel fair to me that I could be taking testosterone while it seems to be so clearly a performance-enhancing drug.

RW: How did your perspective on your long-term personal health change as you became a father? Did it at all?

RH: Yes. We were running with them in Ethiopia and we’ve gone on a few runs when we got home. I want to be able to run with my girls and not be going through extreme fatigue things. I want to be healthy long-term. Having good health is so massively valuable. It definitely weighed in on my decision.

RW: What are the steps you can take now to get healthy? And how are you feeling since you’ve stopped training? What’s your prognosis?

RH: I’ve been changing my lifestyle quite a bit. I’m only running three days a week—half hour runs with [wife] Sara. I feel good on those runs now and I don’t have energy problems on those now. I’ve been doing a ton of weights. It’s a really good thing for my body, but also just a really fun thing for me. I’m so bad, so weak. When I first started in the gym, I was bench-pressing like 95 pounds. Two months later, I’m up to 200 pounds. It’s fun to do something you’re so bad at because it’s so easy to improve. It’s been fun to put on muscle, too. I didn’t know I could have bumps. I’ve put on a lot of muscle in a short time.

It’s also really good to increase testosterone. It’s kind of the opposite of running in terms of testosterone building.

I just had blood drawn and I haven’t gotten the results back yet, but I’m hoping the testosterone is going toward the normal range. It’s a long process. But my energy is much better throughout the day.

RW: Now that you’ve had a few days to digest the public reaction, have you read any of the congratulatory messages? How does it feel to hear from fans and others in the sport of running? Do you read any of it?

RH: I’ve read a lot. It was super touching. I honestly wasn’t expecting the reaction I got from the running community. It’s always been sweet and special and supportive of me, but [on Friday] it was one of the most-touching days of my career. A lot of people posted pictures and sharing memories and I was super touched by all the kind words and encouragement. I got a bazillion texts and emails—it’s been really sweet to feel the warm embrace of the running community.

I still have the opportunity to help runners to their breakthroughs and hopefully not lead them into extreme fatigue. I’ll be good in a coaching role or inspirational role to help people not go down that same road that I did.

RELATED: Ryan Hall Dared to Be Great

RW: What are you hoping the future holds for you? Will you still be associated/sponsored by Asics? Do you want to get away from the sport or are you hoping to remain involved?

RH: It’s very uncertain at this point. I don’t know. I wasn’t planning on going down this road. All my sponsors have been supportive and understanding at this point.

I’m just trying to do a good job with what’s right for me. I did that throughout my career. It wasn’t anything I did on any one day, it was putting a whole bunch of good days together. I’m helping to coach Sara to the Olympic Marathon Trials and doing a good job of that. I am excited about the shape she’s in right now. I’m also working on becoming a good dad. It’s been quite a ride and I have a lot to learn in the dad department, so I’m focused on that.

I do want to find ways to help other runners achieve their best, not only on the roads, but to learn some of the lessons I learned through the good and bad times. I’m more concerned as a potential coach about their hearts than I am about how fast they’re running. If your heart’s in the right place, you’re going to maximize your abilities. The running community’s been so good to me, I feel like I have a lot to give back.

RW: When you reflect on your career, what’s the key feeling that comes to mind? Are you at peace? Satisfied? Was there one more thing you dreamed of accomplishing?

RH: It’s kind of looking back on your wedding photos. I’m so thankful for those days and you wish you could go back and relive them. I do believe I maximized what I could, but I just wish I had been running a marathon on the day I ran 59 minutes [at the 2007 Houston Half Marathon]. I would have been really curious to see what I could have done in a marathon that day. I wish I could have figured out how to feel like that all the time.

I got some really sweet moments in my career. They were kind of spread out and I couldn’t figure out how to replicate it very well.

There were some big things I wanted to accomplish that didn’t happen for me. I try to look at it through different eyes, too. Sometimes you’re hoping for big, personal breakthroughs and you don’t experience them, but you lead somebody else to the breakthrough. I hope that’s the case.

I didn’t get to experience running faster than 2:04 or winning a major marathon or getting an Olympic medal, but perhaps the things I’ve done in my career can help somebody else to that. If I can be a part of that, it can be sweeter than experiencing those things for yourself.

RELATED: Ryan Hall Through the Years

RW: What do you hope your mark on the sport is? What do you hope your time as a professional will be remembered for?

RH: My goal with all of this and my goal when I wake up each morning is to love God and love people. If I can help people do that, their life will be meaningful. I want to lead people into that through running.

I also think just being fearless. Fearlessness comes from being rooted in who you are and feeling like you can handle your worst day and still look in the mirror and be happy with what you see. That, to me, was a big lesson I had to learn. I went through depression at Stanford and had to drop out for a quarter because my whole identity was based on what I did and how I was performing. When I shook that, it was the biggest breakthrough that led to everything that followed. If I didn’t have that fearlessness, I would have never experienced the things I did. That’s what we need in American distance running. If we’re going to compete [internationally], we’ve got to try. And you’ve got to be okay with blowing up. You can’t have that shake you or destroy your confidence.

It’s such a fun way to live life, even on the days I blew up. It’s nice to know that you gave everything you could even if it wasn’t there that day. Get up the next day and try again. That’s what the Africans are so good at—they keep going at it and they don’t get discouraged.

RW: What advice would you give younger, aspiring runners? What do you hope they can learn from your career?

RH: Change the way you view the failure in your life. I would have never achieved the things I did if I didn’t develop a value for failure. It’s a needed process in the process of you becoming the best that you can become. You learn more from your failures than from your successes. I didn’t have that early on—my world would come tumbling down.

RW: What’s it like for you to help coach Sara? Do you think coaching is something you’ll take more of an interest in? What do you bring to it that comes from your personal experiences?

RH: One of the things I’m grateful for is how I’ve been able to be coached by so many of the best in the world. Working with Jack Daniels and [Renato] Canova for a while, just gave me some amazing experiences. I learned a lot from each one of the coaches I’ve run under—Terrence Mahon, Vin Lananna, Andy Gerard, my dad. I’ve also experimented on myself a lot.

I feel like I have a lot to give in the coaching realm. I’m not sure exactly what that is going to look like. We’ve talked about inviting people out to Redding [California] to train here. It’s a really great place to train, although in the summer we’d have to come to Flagstaff [Arizona] because it gets a little toasty. I’d like it to be in-person coaching because it’s so valuable to have a coach watching you. When I’m biking next to Sara, I can feel the same sensation she’s feeling, because I’ve been there before and I can see it in her legs. And having run 2:04—when you know your coach has done what you’re trying to do, it’s much easier to trust them and believe them, rather than it being all theoretical.

RELATED: Coach Jack Daniels on Hall: 'He Had the Desire'

RW: Who do you think will make the men’s U.S. Olympic marathon team?

RH: That’s a good question. I have always not paid attention at all to results and what other people are posting about their workouts and stuff. It was never good for me as an athlete to be thinking about what other guys are doing. So it’s hard for me to say. It’s all about how your buildup has been.

That said, the experience that Meb [Keflezighi] has, it’s going to be hard for him to not make the team. I don’t know how Abdi [Abdirahman] has been, but he’s tough. And Dathan [Ritzenhein]—they’re all going to be tough. There’s also a lot of new guys on the scene who’ve never run a marathon who are massive question marks, so you can never count them out. Some of the experienced guys have the odds in their favor.

RW: Do you think it will be difficult to spectate at the trials?

RH: I don’t think it’ll be any harder than when I watched Sara compete in the 2004 trials. I was really hoping to be competing in those and had all these crazy dreams. I remember it was hard. I will use that—I’ve been there before, watched it before and I was okay. I’ll have some moments when I think, “Man, I wish I was out there.” But at the same time, there’s no doubt in my mind that I shouldn’t be out there and I made the right decision. It’ll be a mixed bag of emotions.

RW: Are the girls going to come and watch?

RH: Yes. We’re all going to drive down there and it’ll be really fun for them to watch Sara, especially considering how good of shape she’s in. It’ll be a really good day. We were talking about going to Disneyland. The online “crowd predictor” says it’s supposed to be a heavy day there. We do want to take the girls to Disneyland and it’s kind of the perfect opportunity. I’m not sure yet.

RW: What’s your favorite part of being a dad? What’s been the most challenging part?

RH: I love being able to love more people who are around all the time. Before, our world was so small. It was Sara and I traveling and going places. I grew up in a family of five kids and I love being around family. Now it’s four more people to love and be around. Our days feel so good and full and how life is supposed to be. I watch them grow and smile and laugh and play and dance—all the stuff we do together, I just love every day with them.

The biggest challenge? Learning patience. At first when you’re hearing, “Dad, dad, dad, dad” all the time, it’s just so amazing. And then after a while, when you’ve heard it a thousand times before 8 a.m., you’re like, “Hold on. Dad can only talk to one person at a time.” It’s stretching me and requiring me to become a better person. I like that part of it.

RW: The sport, in general, is seeing its fair share of dark days. Did that make it easier to step away?

RH: It didn’t play into it at all. I can’t even tell you what the big news is most of the time. I don’t pay attention to it. There needs to be change in the sport, but we need to be focused on the good things that are happening, too. I was telling my kids the other day in the car—the things you focus on and are thankful for are the things that grow. It’s the same thing in anything in life.

Yes, we need change to happen. I’ve never been super into following the bad things going on. I’ve always tried to believe the best in people, too. I’ve never been on the start line thinking half these people are doping. I was the guy that was believing that Lance [Armstrong] was clean until the last second when he was on Oprah confessing.

RW: Any chance you’ll get back into running at some point, either trails or in a non-competitive way?

RH: It’s funny—I always pictured me ending my career and wanting to run Comrades and crazy adventure races that sounded fun. But with how I’ve left the sport, I don’t have that desire anymore to do anything over half an hour. I’m loving weights so much and I’m growing a lot and getting a lot stronger. Also, now when I run I feel like more of a horse than a deer. My entire life I’ve been small and weak. I started running when I was 13 and wasn’t even through puberty—I knew all the way through my career that doing upper-body weights would make me lumbering and weren’t helpful. I always wondered what it felt like to be strong. I am loving going after that.

I get up every morning at 5 a.m. Nobody is awake. It’s just me in my garage, pouring out into these weights. It feels so good and I’m so energized afterward. After long runs you’d just feel so tired and sleep all day long. It’s the opposite with weight training.

Sara has started calling me Shrek. She’s running behind me and says I look like Shrek. I don’t see myself doing any ultras at 200 pounds.

RW: In the end, what moment in your career really stands out?

RH: I think probably the Olympic Trials in 2007. I had always dreamed of going to the Olympics and what it’d feel like to make the Olympic team. To be one of the favorites going into the race and I had gotten off to a terrible start in my buildup to that race. It was actually similar fatigue like I felt later, but I was able to resume training and get back.

I remember running that race and feeling like the faster I ran, the better I felt. It was a spiritual moment for me, like when you worship in a church. That’s what it felt like to me. I was doing what I was created to do and living my purpose. That’s the best feeling in the world. To experience that with almost my whole family and Sara—that’s what makes me most emotional—when I look back on my career, when I think about the people who supported me along the way.

When I saw in a tribute video on Friday, Kai [the Halls' dog] running the forest, in full-flight, all stretched out and eating up the ground, for some reason that just rocked me. I just lost it and started crying. It's like when I watch Sara run. I could feel what she’s feeling in that moment and it’s such an amazing feeling. I will definitely miss that feeling. I can still close my eyes and relive those moments when I did feel like that—Houston, the trials, and other races.

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