NEW BRUNSWICK, NJ—Far outstripping the amount of time dedicated to swimming or games, a report released Wednesday by researchers at Rutgers University found that the average person in a pool spends the vast majority of their time urging others to enter as well. “Across demographic groups, we found that an individual will typically spend 80 percent of their time in a pool engaged in various efforts to coax others into joining them in the water,” read the report, noting that roughly half that time is dedicated to making the case that entering the pool will be “fun” or “refreshing” and about a third is allocated toward playful commands or taunts such as “Come on,” “Stop being a baby,” or simply “Just get in already.” “The smallest amount of time is reserved for more aggressive tactics such as splashing people from the pool’s edge or just reaching up and pulling them in if they get close enough.” The report went on to say that any time not spent urging others to enter the pool was devoted to awkwardly bobbing in the water while waiting for people to enter on their own.

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