Terminal Lance #319 “The Jack Shack II”

If anything should give you a clue as to the kind of people us Marines actually are, it’s probably the fact that we can (and will) jerk off just about anywhere. It doesn’t matter if it’s a fetid porta-shitter baking in the midday middle eastern sun, filled to the brim with the rancid and unkept sludge of an entire infantry company’s excrement. If you haven’t found yourself at some point in time vigorously masturbating in one of these horrendous shit boxes, you’re not a Marine at all.

When you’re out in the middle of nowhere, be it a deployment overseas or just some shit hole training environment like Camp Wilson, you have to find time to do it eventually. When you get to this point, you’ll be surprised at the amount of unfathomable moral concession you’re willing to make to squeeze one off. It has to happen. Maybe your girlfriend just emailed you some fresh motivational photos, you brought a terabyte of porn with you on an external hard drive, or you simply just got off standing post for 8 hours and just didn’t want to jerk off in front of your battle buddy–it’s going to happen.

You will find somewhere to jerk off.

You must.

No regrets, just bust that nut as fast as you can and move on with your life. You’ll be a better man for it, and you’ll forever know that if the situation calls for it, you’ll be ready to pull up that mental spank bank anywhere.