Give a voice to the voiceless!

Right-Wing Freak-Outs to the Vetoing of SB 1062 is getting hot. OK, Jan “The Man” Brewer did the right thing. She vetoed that hateful SB 1062.

Good for you, Jan. Let me slow-clap you across the finish line. Thank you. And I’m sorry I said you looked like a used suitcase. That was mean.

I’m also canceling my boycott. But truth be told, I guess I’ve been unofficially boycotting you all this time anyway. I mean, your legislature did pass this thing to begin with, and vacation time in Scottsdale tempts me not. So. We probably won’t be seeing each other anytime soon.

What was more fantastic than your veto? Tasting the salty tears of those you disenfranchised with your mighty pen, the Tea Party and the right-wing lunatics who apparently can’t imagine a world where blatant, state-sanctioned discrimination doesn’t exist.

Here are some of my favorite reactions.

Read more: Shocking racial discrimination at the Nasdaq Stock Market could make you puke

First off, that powerhouse of intellectualism that is Tea Party Nation. This week, if you visit their website, which I’m sure you do for, you know, their recipes, you could see headlines like “Red Ink Flowing: Harry Reid and Dementia.”

Well, TPN absolutely lost their collective shit when SB 1062 met its end atop Jan’s cookie-crumb-covered desk.

What disgusts them most, beyond the fact that it’s the continued war of Christianity blah blah blah, is the fact that bakers in Arizona now will have to bake mandatory erotic penis cakes for everyone. Because every tasteful gay wedding I’ve been to features a large dick cake for everyone to enjoy. I’m sure you, reader, have had similar experiences.

Says, TPN:

“Should a devote baker be required to create a cake for a homosexual wedding that has a giant phallic symbol on it or should a baker be required to create pastries for a homosexual wedding in the shape of genitallia (sic)?”

Oh stop being so lame, devote baker, and bake some penis cakes.

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TPN goes on to say:

“Or should a photographer be required to photograph a homosexual wedding where the participants decide they want to be nude or engage in sexual behavior?”

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Gay weddings, with family and friends from all over, do often descend into crazed sex orgies. Happens all the time. I still can’t shake this rash I picked up at the last gay wedding/mass sex party I attended.

And there is Bryan Fischer over at the American Family Association. He had this moment of clarity:

“Big Gay” — like “Big Oil”? Is that a thing?

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As for me, I’ve got to get ready for a wedding this weekend. Just the sight of the giant penis-shaped cake will probably get me all sorts of horned up. So, I’m bringing lube. Because after the chicken dance comes the orgy. Followed up by the hokey pokey, then an old-fashioned gangbang.

Again, this sort of thing happens all the time.

Give a voice to the voiceless!