A wedding is, essentially, just your biggest, fanciest party that’s all about you and the person you love.

It’s the day when you gather around all your favourite people and make them watch as you commit to spending the rest of your life with one person.

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There’s also cake.

If a carefully selected list of favourite people doesn’t include kids, I reckon that’s entirely alright.


In fact, a general ban on kids at weddings sounds like a blimmin’ great idea.

Which is why I was pretty shocked to see that so many people took issue with one woman announcing on This Morning that she didn’t want a baby to be at her wedding.

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Weddings tend to be fancy, fairly grown up affairs. They’re all about celebrating love and longterm commitment, through the art of reading vows and making embarrassing speeches about the groom’s drunken uni escapades.



These activities aren’t designed to be enjoyed by children or babies, who’d much prefer to do things like running around, playing, or crying – all of which end up massively disrupting the wedding.

Remember the wedding? The entire point of this big party?

Kids are not suited to sitting still and watching a couple talk about being together for better or worst. They don’t understand the significance of these big, grand vows, and they won’t appreciate all the emotions going down in the room.

If I were getting married, I’d only really want people who actually give a sh*t about my relationship to be in the room (or in the overgrown garden decorated with twinkling lights, whatever). People who might cry a little. People who are really glad to have been invited.

Young children of my friends and family are not those people. They do not give a tiny sh*t about my love life.

And that’s fine – but that means they shouldn’t be at my wedding.

Having kids and babies at a wedding means catering to kids’ picky eating, putting up with their wails and squeaky shoes, and accepting that their parents – the people who used to just be your best mates – will likely have to go home early because little Arthur is all tuckered out.

Children are disruptive to the day. Even the well-behaved ones.

Having children at a wedding means that all the adults have to be on their best, kid-friendly behaviour, going light on the booze, skipping the sweary anecdotes, and always keeping an eye on your table while you’re dancing in case your child finishes their book and decides to knock over the cake.

And if that’s something you want – if you love being around children and want a big colouring in party – great, go for it.

But those of us who’d rather keep their weddings kids-free shouldn’t be judged or called kid-hating monsters. We’re not, we swear.

We’d just just quite like it if our wedding, a big party that’s meant to be all about us, could actually be enjoyable for us.

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We’d prefer it if our weddings were attended by people we can have a great time with and who really want to be there.



That doesn’t include babies that our bridesmaids will need to lug around, children who’ll put their sticky fingers on our cakes and turn their noses up at our delightful buffet, or surly preteens who’ve been dragged away from their mates to be forced to go to a grownup party.

Kids are great in the right contexts. A wedding is no such context.

I’ll happily go to your kid’s birthday party, chatter away with your seven-year-old about dinosaurs, and hold your baby while you’re making a cup of tea.

But at a wedding, just get a sitter and leave the kids at home. This party isn’t for them.

Read the other side of the debate from Rebecca Reid here.

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