Posted by Andy, under INSTRUCTIONAL DIAGRAMS

[ click the image to enlarge ]

It’s never the normal, standard-issue things that we need preparation for. It’s the freaky, unexpected and unknown things that terrorize us and really would have been nice to know about beforehand. What most new parents lose a large percentage of their mind about is simply not knowing. What they discover in a diaper can sometimes scare the crap out of them.

Most baby doctors are going to tell new parents about the baby’s first poop, meconium. They’ll say it’s a thick, sticky, dark green mess that should not alarm them or prompt them to bring the baby back for a refund. It’s just for the first few baby dumps. They probably won’t refer to it as “baby dumps” though. Anyways, often the doctor’s and nurse’s hearts just don’t seem in it. The little information they do impart almost seems like the bare minimum just to prevent annoying calls made immediately by the new parents.

We’re offering a more accurate look at what lays in wait for new parents on their diaper changing adventures. The straight sh*t about the types of diaper loads it’s going to be your job to unload.

Be warned: this illustrated chart is by no means offered as a complete list, there are plenty more crazy poop bombs your little pilot is going to unload on you.

To veteran parents: it’s our job to let the new recruits in on what they’re going to face when they hit the ground. Comment with your own diaper load type! Come up with a name and description and post it in the comments below. Do your doody!

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