Contestant #1- Sy Snootles

Sy Snootles

Sy Snootles

Contestant #1 is the chicken-footed Sy Snootles, whose special talents are singing, spying and bounty hunting. We were originally going to disqualify Miss Snooty from the Ugly Pageant due to her Angelina Jolie-like lips, which could be misconstrued as ‘beautiful’; however, she assured us her lips were more like Kylie Jenner’s, and therefore we allowed her to enter the pageant, under the ‘Plastic Technicality’. Furthermore, we needed a creature who identified as female to fulfill our diversity requirement under the Donald J. Trump Manifesto on Pageant Ethics.

When asked about the feature she felt most insecure about, she replied ‘my crosseye.’ Really Snooty? We didn’t even notice. If you think Sy deserves to win the Star Wars Ugly pageant, tweet us @weareJUNC and let us know.