Thursday's episode of Parks and Recreation, "Campaign Ad," saw our beloved Leslie Knope facing off against a new opponent in the race for City Council: the dashing but dumb Sweetums heir Bobby Newport (guest-star Paul Rudd). As the episode title reveals, campaign ads were in order—but conflict arose when Ben's plan to shoot an attack ad ran aground of Leslie's "don't be negative" ideals.

They couple compromised in the end, but not before Leslie'd had a chance to shoot an ad that, true to her "positive is always better than negative" mantra, showcased her good qualities instead of highlighting Bobby Newport's bad ones. It was very ambitious! Below, we've transcribed all the things that Leslie Knope is "pro"—it seems she's running on a platform that favors parks, raccoon control, and free sweets on street corners/your birthday...



Hi, I'm Leslie Knope, I'm pro parks, pro public safety, and I'm pro clean water. I'm also pro environmental regulation, and I'm very, VERY pro local propositions 45, 86, and 102F. But most of all, I'm pro Pawnee. Here are some other things that I'm pro:

More dog parks

Senior citizens' rights

Safe streets

Safe sidewalks

Better schools

Lower taxes

Better parks

Better business climate

Better Better Business Bureau

Cleaner streets

Improve greenways

More snow plows

Protecting Pawneeans

Improving tourism

More trash cans

Energy-efficient street lights

Westside Detoxification and Revitalization Project

Repaving Grand Avenue

More teachers

Fewer libraries

Improve intergovernmental agency communication

Clean-up Barefoot Lake

Passing Pawnee Jobs Bill P-129.4

Playgrounds in every park

Playgrounds in every schoolyard

Playgrounds in every residential block

Clean energy

One police officer for every 5 citizens

One park ranger for every 10,000 raccoons

Resodding Hilltop Cemetery

Start talking to Cuba again

Emergency Evacuation Drills

Plow for Charity

Forming an Ad Hoc Sub-Committee Oversight Committee

Challenging the norm

Pawnee Corn Subsidies

Finally Passing PR-61, formally recognizing South Korea

Official peace treaty with the Wamapoke Tribe

Four-way stops at every intersection

Unionizing ice cream trucks

Get Europe out of debt

Free trade with Illinois

Enact RRP - Raccoon Relocation Project

Pawnee Community College tuition in exchange for 4 years of public service

Doubling Pawnee Hospital's emergency room nurse staff

Legalize Korean

Lower the obesity level

Stop global terrorism

Re-open the toucan exhibit at Pawnee Zoo

Find Gabe the Toucan

More community gardens

Ordinance 11F: To Re-pave city Sidewalks

Budget Reform

Updated Technologies for Local Schools

Better retirement benefits for city employees

Edward Phillips Senior Center Remodeling

Speed bumps in front of elementary schools

Unemployment Benefits

Re-instating the Main St. Farmers Market

No turtles as pets

New uniforms for youth sports programs

Free Public Wi-Fi

Updated childcare facilities

Shutting down the Child Left Behind program

Handicap parking placards for the obese

FREE PARKING EVERYWHERE

Cleaner drinking water

Regulate heights of trampolines

Memorial for those lost in the trampoline "incident"

Control the floods

Funding for public art commission

Fencing in correctional facilities

New police patrol cars

Funding overtime hours for police

Rebuilding the PTA

Prosecuting former PTA president Linda Trifle

Profitable government organizations

Shutting down underground shooting ranges

Making sure city contracts employ local workers

Providing more economic development grants and micro-loans to small businesses

Foster partnerships with sister cities

More buses to speed up morning commutes

More streets to accommodate additional buses

Require all city employees check and respond to email

Working sewers

More parades

Grants for scientists to discover new forms of energy

Leave a lasting impression on all visitors

Challenge the norm

Finish the statue of Burt Bacharach

No more conflict diamonds

Bulletproof glass everywhere

Free cookies at every street corner

On school for every student

Require flattering mirrors in public restrooms

Develop a municipal composting operation

Enforce existing speeding and noise ordinances

Upgrade existing parks

Create an anti-graffiti, youth outreach program

Free cake when it's your birthday

Reevaluate NAFTA

Rickshaw Wednesdays

Making it illegal to refuse a hug

Make downtown more people-friendly

Sell candy in government buildings to pay down the debt

Get Pawnee a licensed pharmacy

Better screening processes at local adoption agencies

Finding homes for the abused children of Day Labor Corp.

Prop 6A: To Recognize All Five Food Groups

Replacing all glass with plastic at Pawnee Psychiatric Clinic



...plus a couple more, give or take, that we couldn't quite make out. And hot dogs.



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