When women report sexual assault, the sad truth is that they aren't always believed. High-profile cases in the recent past prove this point: Radio host Jian Ghomeshi was accused of sexual harassment and rape. Over 36 women say Bill Cosby assaulted them. And recently, Donald Trump has been accused of groping, harassing, and assaulting several women. In each of these situations, women bravely shared their stories with the public—oftentimes dredging up memories they had buried for years or even decades. And instead of listening to what they have to say, many people dismissed them.

Cosby's victims were interrogated about why they took drinks from him, or what they thought was going to happen if they went to his apartment alone. Ghomeshi supporters claimed that the woman accusing him of rape simply enjoyed rough sex. And the women who have spoken out against Donald Trump have been slandered by his campaign and his supporters.

An important note: People of all genders can and do get assaulted, and there are unique challenges that men and genderqueer people face when reporting their experiences. But there is a specific, damaging myth that women fabricate rape accusations to ruin men's lives, and that stops so many people from reporting what happened to them. Survivors worry that they won't be believed.

People who doubt the accusers will commonly ask things like, Why didn't you ever go to the police about this? Why did it take you so long to speak up? Just because a woman didn't report an assault doesn't mean an assault never happened. As is stands, there are myriad reasons why a survivor might not want to disclose what happened to them.

Firstly, someone may not even know that what happened to them was assault. There are so many myths about what constitutes assault, and not enough people know the truth, which is this: If you didn't consent to doing something with someone, and they do that thing anyway, it's assault. Even if you flirted. Even if you were drinking. Even if you were wearing a short skirt. Even if you said "yes" during a previous encounter. Even if you said "yes" to doing the same thing with someone else.

Knowing definitively that you were assaulted does not make reporting it any easier. Many survivors report feeling humiliated after being assaulted, and not wanting anyone to know what happened. There's also a stigma. Some survivors may believe that being assaulted makes them "damaged goods," and are afraid of being judged for something that is completely not their fault. Elizabeth Smart, who was abducted and held captive for nine months when she was 14, told Vice that she felt being assaulted made her somehow less worthy. "I was kidnapped and I was raped, and one of the first thoughts I had was, 'No one is ever going to want to marry me now. I'm worthless, I'm filthy, I'm dirty,'" she said. "...It was almost crippling."

There's also the sad reality of what it's like to report sexual assault. If you make a report to law enforcement, chances are you need to talk about it over and over again, re-living what happened. A survivor may be worried that they can't "prove" anything happened to them, if there is no physical evidence available. They may worry about appearing "too calm" or "too hysterical" to be taken seriously. If they choose to have a rape kit performed, that experience can be traumatizing, too.