Uh … sure. God forbid that ever happen. (Second tweet)

x TRUMP: “You better vote for me or you are going to have the greatest depression you have ever seen.” pic.twitter.com/EltgyLJKlw— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 29, 2020

Let’s see, the current unemployment rate is 10.2 percent, GDP plunged nearly 32 percent on an annualized basis in the second quarter, and the coronavirus pandemic, which precipitated all this economic carnage, isn’t anywhere close to ebbing — at least not in this country.

Gee, I think I’ll take my chances with Joe Biden.

Oh, but that wasn’t nearly all the crazy. That’s the problem with Trump. His gaffes come by the baker’s dozen, so it’s almost impossible to do justice to them all in one news cycle.

There was this short clip, in which Trump both brags about hosting another super-spreader event and preemptively disparages the flooring:

x Trump begins his rally in New Hampshire by boasting that officials let in an above capacity crowd for his speech during a pandemic pic.twitter.com/8u3aPlwg9X

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 28, 2020

And this clip, where the masturbating fib gremlin in Trump’s head convinces him to say that the polls have suddenly shifted in his favor:

x This hasn't happened. Trump is making stuff up. pic.twitter.com/lGj174cLrm

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 28, 2020

“A rapid swing.” Uh, no. Unless he’s talking about the circa 1952 tetherball that caused the brain damage on lurid display today.

Oh, and all you protesters will be happy to know that you don’t know who George Floyd is. Plus, the man who can’t pronounce “citizens” still thinks Joe Biden is “shot.”

x Trump short-circuits when he tries to say “citizen” pic.twitter.com/KLJ400xNt6

— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) August 28, 2020

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Some day I’d like to debate Trump, but first I’d need to soak my brain in formaldehyde for a fortnight and then let the lunch ladies at my old grade school go at it with a melon baller and a quart of Lawry’s Seasoned Salt until it’s a fair fight. And I’m a shitty public speaker.

I think Joe Biden will be just fine.

This guy is a natural. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry.” — Bette Midler on Aldous J. Pennyfarthing, via Twitter. Find out what made dear Bette break up. Dear Fcking Lunatic: 101 Obscenely Rude Letters to Donald Trump and its boffo sequels Dear Prsident A**clown: 101 More Rude Letters to Donald Trump and Dear F*cking Moron: 101 More Letters to Donald Trump by Aldous J. Pennyfarthing are now available for a song! Click those links, yo!