Why aren't they sobbing in defeat? How can this happen?

Thanks to the brilliant political instincts of Donald Trump, the House and Senate passed an omnibus spending bill Monday to keep the government funded until September, with no funds for Trump's big beautiful wall, no cut in moneys for ACA insurance subsidies, no elimination of the National Endowment for the Arts, the National Endowment for the Humanities, or the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, no elimination of federal funding to Planned Parenthood, and no enormous cuts to the State department or EPA. It still funds Meals On Wheels, even. But Trump did get about two thirds of the extra military spending he wanted, so it's a huge victory, say Trumpers.

But here's life in Big Bad Trump's Republican-controlled Washington: Various factions of Republicans are so busy fighting each other that in order to keep the government open, the only spending bill that had a chance of passing was one that preserved things largely as they are, which means rolling forward with more or less the same budget priorities as in the last spending bill under Barack Obama, with some fiddling around the edges like the extra money for defense and a 1% cut to the EPA budget (not great, but microscopic compared to the 31% cut Trump wanted). And now that the Dems have raised a very quiet toast to Republican dysfunction (don't want to attract too much attention with clinking glasses), further attempts to move the budget Trumpward will become more difficult -- particularly when it comes to areas where Democrats managed spending increases, like the budget for the National Institutes of Health or a permanent extension of health benefits for retired coal miners.

House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi allowed herself a little celebration -- no gloating; it's not good optics -- in a letter to House Dems Monday, arguing the spending plan

reflects significant progress defeating dangerous Republican riders and securing key victories for Democratic priorities.” “In a defeat for President Trump, the [deal] does not fund the immoral and unwise border wall or create a cruel new deportation force.

White House budget director Mick Mulvaney said Monday the administration was perfectly fine with not getting any funds for the wall:

“I think it’s great that the Democrats like the bill [...] We thought it was a really good deal for this administration as well.”

But then everyone had to go and notice Trump didn't get his druthers in the omnibus, and Donald Trump had to go and bitch about the government staying open:

Stupid terrible bill that avoided a shutdown! What kind of moron would sign that? Also, notice the typically Trumpian sense of time: Before September's deadline, America must either elect eight more Republicans in November 2018, or eliminate the legislative filibuster. And what we really need is a good shutdown, which will teach us a lesson, all right.

The sudden swerve by Trump left Mulvaney having to swerve himself. Bipartisanship? Oh, that's what we thought it was until the Dems got all RUDE about it:

Mulvaney on Pres. Trump's shutdown threat: He is frustrated Democrats tried to "spike the football and make him look bad" on spending bill. pic.twitter.com/nqMH3nvf8f — ABC News Politics (@ABCPolitics) May 2, 2017

Shame on you Democrats for taking advantage of Republican infighting like that, and then being happy we signed on to the compromise we signed on to! Is there no end to your treachery? Donald Trump didn't get the respect he felt he earned through his brave determination to demand the unreasonable and then fold on those demands. Now give President Tittybaby what he wants or he may have to bomb Syria again.

Guess Pelosi and Schumer clinked those glasses a little too loud after all. NO MORE NOTICING YOU WON, GUYS! THAT'S NOT FAIR! JUST LOOK AT DONALD TRUMP'S 306 ELECTORAL VOTES! LOOK AT THEM!

Yr Wonkette is supported solely by reader donations, which is another win for the Dems. Please send us money by clicking the "Donate" linky below, but for Crom's sake don't spike the football or Trump will use it to nuke North Korea.

[WaPo / NYT / ABC News Politics on Twitter]