What is Chastity?

To put it quite simply – it is abstaining from sex.

Wait a minute, this is a kink site – how the hell does not having sex make anything kinky or sexy?

Well, I’m glad you asked. It’s actually quite an interesting experience. You see, what happens is that when you are denied sexual pleasures – you want it more. This is sort of a super-intensified version of teasing. Additionally, there is the option of including some very interesting hardware to the wardrobe.

Chastity as a Kink

Let’s get into the details on how to get started in chastity. So, typically this kink is really fun when you have a partner that can help out. (I know, all that work to get laid, and now you’re going to flip the situation – but it’s worth it – when done right. You can also get in on chastity as a kink on your own, for the solo flying singles out there.

In a chastity experience, one of the persons in the relationship (or even a very close and open minded friend that can bring you the key easily) essentially becomes what is known as a ‘keyholder’ – they are the person that holds the key to the chastity device (that bit of hardware I mentioned earlier) – while the other individual wears the chastity device. For those with vaginas – that would be a chastity belt, for those with a penis – there are both chastity belt options and cock cage options depending on what your personal style is and where your bedroom budget sits at.

Now, the use of a chastity device is totally optional (these might look a little intimidating at first anyway), but for the sake of honesty – one’s self-control can go out the window pretty quickly without the device being in place. And there is little point to claiming chastity as your kink if you just want a quick tease. The use of the device allows the desire for “come-pletion” to reach new heights. So, if you want to increase your anticipation and up the ante to entirely new levels when it comes to teasing – chastity might be just the thing!

Basics of Chastity and Cock Cages

First, you want to communicate with your partner your desire to explore chastity as an addition to the bedroom and your sexual lifestyle. Discover how your partner feels about it and discuss who will be keyholder in your chastity scenarios. In many cases, the more dominant partner will want to have control over the key and can have a lot of fun determining when the chastity device comes off. Of course, you want to have a healthy relationship where the power of the key won’t be abused – so be sure you trust your partner to literally hold the key to accessing your genitalia.

Before you go investing your money in the chastity belts or cock cages you will want to be sure your partner is consenting to have control over the device or has consented to wear and use the device. These kinky toys and tools are best when they are measured to fit – so you want everyone in your relationship to be on board before you get overexcited.

So, once you’ve had the chastity talk, sorted out who is doing what, and bought your custom fitted toys – you’re ready to not get any until your keyholder determines it appropriate.

Now, as there are so many styles of devices available, you’ll have to rely on the package directions. Note to those with a penis – you will need to be un-aroused at the time that you place your chastity device – it makes things much easier. And have a little lube nearby just in case things are uncooperative. Each toy will have different placement specifications – follow them closely.

Once you have your device in place, the real fun can begin. After the lock is in place, the keyholder can have a little fun. There can be a lot of teasing – the majority of your body is still exposed in these devices – you might discover a whole new world of turn-ons by accident with this kink! Some chastity dynamics might also include the keyholder getting the specific attention they desire (perhaps additional foreplay or a certain number of orgasms – always discuss beforehand!) before releasing the lock on the device and allowing the chastity device wearer to reach full arousal.

Safety and Cleanliness

Another note for those with a penis here. It’s important to be aware of the risk that things can get a bit tight and uncomfortable, sometimes to the point of dangerously reduced blood circulation to your member if your device doesn’t fit properly. Measure multiple times at multiple stages of arousal before purchasing to prevent this.

For anyone using a chastity device, you will need to keep it clean during the entire time you’re wearing it. As some individuals may prefer longer periods of chastity (quick searches reveal someone going for a record somewhere), this may include working out times to use toilets, remove and clean the device, or even have back-up devices to keep the play going without large lags in time during cleaning and drying. Some chastity users go so far as to use cotton swabs to clean the device while wearing it to extend their play.

The details of each chastity agreement are ultimately up to each consenting relationship and their preferences so long as they take every step to be aware and preventative of the risks they are taking. Each choice you make can have different impacts on your health – so do your research. If you can’t find anything online – your doctor may have some advice or know where to find a reliable source to meet your needs while reducing your risks.

Til next time, keep it kinky and safe!

Aza