Cory “Spartacus” Booker challenged Joe Biden this past weekend with a message: “early primary poll leads are for losers”.

Spartacus-err-Booker hovers a little shy above one percent in the polls. But he thinks Biden should be worried. Why?

We’ve never had someone, never—this should worry Joe Biden—nobody has ever in our Democratic Party, in our lifetimes, been leading in the polls at this point and gone on to the White House. They’ve usually been people that are more like me: young, dynamic people coming up who energize and excite the full base of the Democratic Party.”-Cory Booker

Booker may not be senile like Biden but I would say that calling himself “young and dynamic” is a stretch, don’t you think? And confronting a man by the name of Corn Pop is nothing when you compare it to the daring feats of Street Fighter Spartacus, right? It certainly takes a dynamo like Booker to come up with creative campaigning strategies to keep the money going and figure out a way to funnel money through a non-profit. Booker claimed to be in the dark about this, of course. Much like Joe Biden claimed to be in the dark about Hunter’s Burisma dealings. Birds of a feather.

So, let’s stack up the candidates and see who is the most dynamic of all. We have creepy old Joe, who wants a female Vice President but cannot seem to remember names:

The former assistant attorney general who got fired who was just in Delaware.”-Joe Biden

Who is Sally Yates for $200, Joe.

The leader of the, uh, the woman who should’ve been the governor of Georgia, the African American woman.”-Joe Biden

Who is Stacey Abrams for $500, Joe.

The two senators from the state of New Hampshire.-Joe Biden

Who are Shaheen and Hassan for $1,000.

We have geezer Democratic-Socialist who just won’t quit, Bernie Sanders, who wants to dynamically change our country, promising free stuff at every turn and criminals a chance to vote. And mirror, mirror on the wall, we have the “fairest of them all”, Kamala Harris who is a force to be reckoned with. It is hard to argue that she has been a huge influence on the dynamic and thriving, (throbbing-sore) of the metropolis that we know of as San Francisco today. We have Queen of the Hypocrites, Squaw Who Drinks Beer-Flavored Water, Elizabeth Warren who’s dynamically changed the way someone calculates their ancestry. We have Julian “La Raza Unida” Castro who has dynamic ideas advocating for legal consequences to “environmental racism”, who wants to decriminalize illegal border crossings and let anybody and everybody in without punishment or screening. We have “court packer”, Pete Buttigieg who wants to only appoint pro-abortion Supreme Court judges to dynamically “de-politicize” the court. And, of course, we have Andrew Yang, who has joined the middle-aged Democratic snowflake population in their dynamic whine fest by boycotting MSNBC until the network apologizes to him for only giving him six minutes of time during the most recent debates when compared to the 10 minutes given to other 2020 hopefuls.

Oh, the joy of the 2020 hopefuls! We have one who cannot remember names and what day it is. We have another who gets angry about people not having their “fair share” whilst he sits in one of his mansions and eats prunes. We have a DA who helped wreck a city, a compulsive liar, radicals and whiners. But none are as dynamic as the one and only Cory Booker. After all, he is Spartacus.

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