

JACKSON, MS—Fed up with logical arguments supported by real world statistics, local first time bigot Stephen Ward tweeted on Monday he was going to go with his gut and start blaming minorities for all the problems in his life.

“I naturally assumed I should just blame Muslims for everything but I started second guessing myself after looking up America’s long history of racism. Apparently we hated Italians and the Irish when they first immigrated, faced a crisis known as the “Yellow Peril” and passed the Chinese Exclusion Act in 1882, and the whole segregation and KKK lynching thing,” said Stephen Ward, struggling to make sense of all the prejudice and hate.

Ward continued saying, “I’ve made some progress and slowly attributed my lack of occupational success as a result of illegal Mexicans taking all the low-income jobs and Asians taking all the jobs in the tech industry. It has also became obvious that the only reason I can’t find a successful relationship is because all the pure white women have been tainted by black men.”

Slowly coming towards an epiphany, Ward decided he would just lump together all the non-whites together as sub-humans.