What it is like to live in the Playboy Mansion as one of Hugh Hefner's many girlfriends?

Izabella whatsit - presumably not her real name, given that she is Polish - was 26 and still at law school when she was picked up by Hugh Hefner in an LA bar. Well, not by him - that's not his style - but by one of the "party posse" of platinum blondes who accompany him everywhere. Soon Izabella was being asked to Fun in the Sun Sundays at the Playboy Mansion and in January 2002 she was invited to move into the Mansion and become an official Hefner Girlfriend, one of seven at the time. She had all the right qualities - long platinum hair, doe eyes, big breasts and a limitless capacity to coo over animals and soft toys. She was also, judging from this book, not stupid - she says that she was "the token brain" of the harem and I'm inclined to believe her.

Hugh Hefner with his, then, six girlfriends in 2003: (L-R) Sheila Levell, Izabella St. James, Zoe Gregory, Holly Madison, Bridget Marquardt and Cristal Camden. Credit:Reuters

Being a Hefner Girlfriend was a specialised job, not to be confused with being a Playboy Playmate. In fact, Girlfriends were not allowed to become Playmates because Hef had found that they tended to flee the Mansion as soon as they collected their $25,000 Playmate cheque. Girlfriends were given their own bedroom, an allowance of $1,000 a week in cash, a new car, free dental and medical treatment, almost limitless clothes, hairdos, make-up and facials and all the cosmetic surgery they could wish for - Izabella reckons Hef shelled out $70,000 a year on breast implants.

It was a very generous deal in many ways, but it did have its drawbacks. First, there was a strict curfew, so unless you were out with Hef, you had to be back in the hutch by 9pm. Second, while you could order any food or drink you wanted, at any time, from one of the many Mansion "butlers", you were not allowed into the kitchen, even for a glass of water. And third, of course, you had to live in the extraordinarily dingy Playboy mansion, where all the furniture was falling apart, the mattresses were stained and the carpets were covered in dog poo. I remember visiting it in the early Nineties and being struck by its shabbiness then, and evidently it was the same or worse when Izabella moved in. Part of the trouble might be that Hef does not actually own the mansion; he has to rent it, room by room, from Playboy Enterprises and, according to Izabella, pays $25,000 a month for his own bedroom.