After learning it had altered itself to become gender neutral, North Carolina has warned the Canadian national anthem ‘O Canada’ not to avail itself of bathroom facilities anywhere in the state.

“We won’t tolerate none of this here not being one thing or the other.”

Leaders followed this up by positing a number of scenarios intended to incite fear and suspicion of the patriotic Canuck song.

“What if your daughter is in the ladies only to have the Canadian national anthem – which was originally male by the way – stroll in on her.”

Sociologists, however, says that such fears have little basis in scientific fact.



“You are far more likely to come to harm at the hands of a gendered national anthem. Frankly this just smacks of bigotry.”

They say people would be better advised to watch out for anthems with lyrics that talk about being superior to everyone else, like the Nazi-era ‘Deutschland über Alles’, than worry about gender-neutral ones.

“You should also be wary of any anthems with lyrics that are overly violent, for example those that discuss fighting, rockets, bombs and so on.”