Washington, D.C. – Deeming it necessary to pivot after failing to generate any influence in local office politics, Chuck Mendelsohn, lobbyist at McGavers & Nash, immediately shifted his focus to achieving a domination win by any means necessary. Coworkers note that Mendelsohn’s attempt to successfully navigate the firm’s office politics were flimsy at best, but reached a low point when his request to allow open borders between all bathrooms were soundly rejected by upper management.

According to sources, an embarrassed Mendelsohn felt he had no choice but to shift from winning his coworkers over through diplomacy to instead achieving victory through sheer brute force. Mendelsohn has already annexed company president John McGavers’ parking spot after fortifying his Pontiac Aztek in its stead and later pillaging the office kitchen.

“While I would have preferred to win the office over through peaceful measure, their rejection of my ideas and platform demands that I take more aggressive actions,” Mendelsohn stated after locking himself in McGavers’ office. “I’ve already seized their capital office, and as soon as I guess John’s laptop password, I’ll have access to their entire research tree.”

In response, McGavers & Nash’s H.R. department has focused its resources on building a case to terminate Mendelsohn, anticipating the cultural victory will be ready next turn.

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