CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

The newest plus-one inclusion to a tight-knit circle of girlfriends in Betoota Grove has today stepped up to the plate to show his worth in front of the lesser blokes.

Until minutes ago, Adrian Rocksolid (25) was just the new dork that Kelly had been seeing. That was until someone arrived with a bag of party ice.

Adrian, who still hasn’t engaged with any of the other boyfriends other than briefly asking the party host where he could find a bottle opener, has relished at the opportunity to show everyone that this isn’t his first piss up.

Party hosts, Bec and Nick, say that while the esky they had provided was already appropriately organised with beer at the bottom and white wine at the top – the fridge cooler packs weren’t ever going to last.

That was before the single girl of the group, Alison, arrived with her gay best friend Timmy in tow.

In Timmy’s hand, a $3.75 bag of ice he’d just picked up from the servo.

Even though Timmy appears to have four function limbs and enough life experience to drop a plastic bag of solid ice on the back patio from height – he was quickly relieved of this duty by Adrian.

While holding the party ice above his head, Adrian begins looking for a solid slab of concrete to throw it onto – the whole while acting as though he is the first human in recorded history to utilise this technique.

The beta boyfriends and husbands at the party do their best to not acknowledge Adrian’s contribution to the party, even when he dramatically tears open the top of the bag and begins distributing it evenly throughout the esky.

With the drinks now chilling at a rapid rate, Adrian puts the lid on the esky and pushes his hips forward in a stretch that can easily be misconstrued with alpha body language.

As Bec arrives in the garden with a tray of uncooked sausages, Adrian’s eyes light up and he begins looking for the Weber. His next noble duty.