ABC disinvites Adam Lambert from 'Jimmy Kimmel,' New Year's Eve. What next? Public shaming as public-relations strategy?

* Adam Lambert to join ABC’s New Year’s Rockin’ Eve telecast live from Times Square — in stocks! Local school children will “teach that gay a lesson” using eggs, jeers.

* ABC scraps special SuperNanny episode featuring Adam Lambert. “There’s not a naughty step in the world big enough for that petulant young man!” gasps exasperated Jo Frost.

* Dancing With the Stars bans Adam Lambert tunes from show. “I wasn’t sure about some of those high notes anyway,” says a relieved Princess Sparkle.

* Ugly Betty revokes guest-starring role for Adam Lambert. “See? Some things are actually too gay for this show,” huffs spokesperson.