john: i can't do anything right... i always manage to mess things up john: alright, that's it. time to summon a beard john: beard gods! bring the beard to me! place one right on my lower face parts! *elsewhere* bearded man: i'm getting sick of this beard. i'll shave it off tonight bearded man (beard rips off of his face): whoa! ow! john (watching beard): here it comes! john (kneeling, speaking to jumping beard): here boy! up! up! *beard jumps onto john's face* john (touching beard): alright john (looking determined): time to get a job

john is determined