Wanting to be front and centre in the fight for abortion rights, Lena Dunham (at Glamour Women of the Year in November) bemoaned: ‘I have never had one, but I wish I had’.

You cannot be a credible young person these days without being a victim. Or even better a persecuted minority. Or the gold standard – discriminated against.

Even if you blatantly have to misappropriate a cause because the most challenging thing you’ve fought is genital warts.

The Clinton campaign was a perfect example. She was one big ol’ bitch in a pant suit, barking to any American who felt like the underdog; female, gay or Hispanic. Preferably all three.

She believed she could win on the victim ticket alone. Sod policy! If you were angry at the hand your were dealt at birth, she was the unlikely champion of your cause. A posh white woman who was the WAG in the White House now obliging her supporters to hold posters saying ‘I’m with her’ – when, as it turns out, she was never going anywhere. Except down.

I discovered exactly the same types when I went to the Jungle at Calais to assess the migrant situation there.

By far the most heavily represented group (after angry single men from Somalia) were rich white kids enjoying a bit of charity tourism so they could stick it on their CV. Kids without a struggle, misappropriating the migrant one, so they could pretend to be Bob Geldof.

Writing on Instagram, Lena Dunham apologized and said she had made a 'sizeable' donation to an abortion charity

Now Lena Dunham - one of Hillary's biggest and (since the result) freaked-out celebrity fangirls has had her very own posh white woman moment. Wanting to be front and centre in the fight for abortion rights, she bemoaned, ‘I have never had one, but I wish I had’.

Perpetually outraged types took this vital opportunity to be outraged once more.

‘I can’t even imagine how offensive Lena Dunham’s comments are for women who have actually has to go through with an abortion’, tweeted one man, playing to the offended crowd.

Actually son, not that offensive because we are too busy trying to have sex with our husbands more than once a month, getting smear tests and trying not to pee when we sneeze to notice.

It’s why half of us only find out we are pregnant when we can’t fit into our jeans and our boobs start leaking unexpectedly.

But I don’t need Lena Dunham to see abortion as a cause. And I certainly don’t need her on womb patrol any day of the week.

'My life is and always will be devoted to reproductive justice and freedom,' said Lena.

(Comments start at 13:36 mark)

No it is not you daft trout. Your life is devoted to trying to position yourself as chief cheerleader for every man-hating opportunity there is.

Posing for pictures. Then calling out the guy on photo-shop for trying to make the images a little less frightening. Being overweight and trying to celebrate it, like diabetes type II is the new feminist frontier.

I expect she wakes up every day wishing she was black, so she could truly own that cause too.

It’s why we ended up with a woman like Rachel Dolezal, who swears she’s Afro-Caribbean, despite the fact both her parents are white.

Resigning from her post as President of the Spokane National Association for the Advancement of Colored People (because she is, in fact, white) she said

“This is not about me. It's about justice”.

Remind you of anyone? Lena?

It’s all about ME ME ME. You wanting to be part of something, to belong to something. To represent.

These days it is fashionable to be on the side of the struggle. To reject acceptance in case you are seen as normal.

It’s why people got bored of just being gay or lesbian. Acceptance to them is like death. They avoid acceptance like Ebola because to be accepted is to be normalised. And being normal is death.

Hence it is more fashionable to be any one of the 71 Facebook gender types on offer.

I don’t need Lena Dunham to see abortion as a cause. And I certainly don’t need her on womb patrol any day of the week

And if colour, sexuality, reproductive rights or migrants aren’t your crusade, there is always something more ubiquitous, like food.

Your options for suffering are endless. Maybe you were bulimic, fat, anorexic, bullied for your weight, gluten-free or vegan. Anything. As long as it makes you special. Even regular plebs can join in at coffee shops; ‘I’ll have a soy chi latte decaf with a recycled cup’ Name? ‘W*nker”.

Having to have special arrangements made for you is the narrative of the young.

It strikes me to be a good vlogger all you really need is an ability to over-share the notion you were bullied at school and an intimate knowledge of the beauty counter at Mac to be a roaring success..

Go home the lot of you. Stop pretending to be part of his struggle, her fight, this cause or that minority. You are young and foolish. Wait a while.

When life smacks you in the face and leaves you crushed on the floor, you will need to summon up the big person inside of you to feel better. No one else can do it or you.

Not a delusional white woman pretending to be black. Or a posh kid pretending to be Bob Geldof.