EDITOR'S NOTE: For a complete recap, head to the Live Blog here.

stadiums, fireworks, then/now/whatever

YES YES YES etc.

BRYAN: Naomi, you are injured so you have to give up your belt.

NAOMI: Being champion has been awesome, but I'm injured, so here is the belt.

UNIVERSE: There is nothing funny about this.

BLISS: yeah yeah so give me back the belt now

BRYAN: nah but you can fight Becky for it again

BECKY: wanna have the same match we've had fifty times

BLISS: k

insert standard BECKY/BLISS match

BLISS: heel move time

BLISS punches BECKY in the throat and wins the belt

MICKIE: I WILL NOW RUN IN AFTER THE MATCH

BECKY: you know I can see you right

BECKY kinda fights MICKIE I guess, MICKIE runs away

DEAN: i have a creepy picture of Baron Corbin, imma win the battle royale

KALISTO: here's my scripted promo because I can't talk good, imma win the battle royale

MIZ: star of the star of the star of the star of the - sorry broken record, anyway, imma win the battle royale

RENEE: hey Nattie what about Nikki tho

NATTIE: Nikki sucks in general

RENEE: k

it's tag match time

BREEZANGO: we beat down Alpha before the match, so this time we'll SURELY win

ALPHA kills BREEZANGO

USOS: we wanna fight you later, HOW YOU GONNA TRAIN FOR TWO BROTHERS UCE

ALPHA: like any other tag team

USOS: UCE

ALPHA: no

AJ: hey random guy, know where I'm going?

GUY: disneyl-

AJ: WRESTLEMANIAAAAAAAA cause imma win the battle royale

DOLPH: heellllllll voiceeeeeee, imma win the battle royale

DOLPH kicks backdrop

DOLPH: replace that

BACKSTAGE CREW: umm k

MOJO: i have a headband, imma win the battle royale

LUKE: i wanna fight Bray so imma win the battle royale

INTERVIEWER: hey Nikki what about Nattie tho

NIKKI: imma beat her up

UNIVERSE: but haven't you done that a bunch alr-

MAURO: FALLS COUNT ANYWHEEEEEEEERE

NIKKI and NATTIE have a spotfest

NATTIE: imma pin you on the table

NIKKI: nah

NATTIE: but the pin is more devastating on the table

NIKKI: nah

NATTIE: how about a crate then

NIKKI: still nah

NATTIE: then imma throw you into Maryse so you can fight her at Wrestlemania

NATTIE does that thing she just said

NATTIE: let's head back to the ring so everyone can see when Maryse interferes

NIKKI: k

suddenly MARYSE

MARYSE: you ran into me just now so I'm angry

NIKKI: but I did that like a week ago and you didn't do anything

MARYSE: but i have a pipe now

MARYSE beats up NIKKI, NATTIE wins

TOM: hey Alexa Bliss is gonna be on SportsCenter tomorrow

every person in the entire UNIVERSE sets their DVR

BARON: imma win the battle royale because Baron Corbin

CREWS: Dolph hurt my leg, imma win the battle royale

BRAY: yeah but imma win at Wrestlemania tho

ORTON: also I'm here

suddenly CENA

CENA: BRRRRRRRRRRR APPLEDon't even need my own promo cause imma win the battle royale

MOJO, KALISTO, and CREWS all get jobber entrances so they're definitely not winning

BARON, LUKE, MIZ, AJ, DOLPH and DEAN all get actual entrances aaaaaaaaaaand suddenly battle royale

BARON: bye Mojo

MOJO: but I have a headband

MOJO's out

DOLPH: hey Kalisto

KALISTO: yeah

DOLPH: screw you in particular

KALISTO's out

CREWS: bye Dolph

DOLPH's out, gets a chair

BARON: bye Crews

CREWS is out

DOLPH: chair shot?

CREWS: nah, my chair now

DOLPH runs away

CREWS: well i'll chase him I guess

AJ and CENA hit each other a bunch

MIZ: member Daniel Bryan

UNIVERSE: YES

CENA: bye Miz

MIZ is out

CENA: time to supercena

CENA supercenas, BARON end-of-days's CENA

UNIVERSE: THROW CENA OUT

BARON: nah

DEAN: bye Baron

BARON's out

BARON: welp you're dead

BARON kills DEAN but DEAN's not out

suddenly MIZ

MIZ: bye Cena

CENA: but you're out tho

MAURO: NO DISQUALIFICATIOOOOOOOOON

CENA: oh

CENA's out

DEAN: i'm back in and i totally have a cha-

DEAN's out

LUKE and AJ punch each other in the corner of the ring for a while

LUKE: Hart/Luger?

AJ: Hart/Luger

LUKE and AJ are both out at the same time

suddenly all the REFS

REFS: ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

YES, YES, YES, etc.

BRYAN: it's a draw, y'all fight next week

LUKE: nah

LUKE kills AJ

BRAY: maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh, maniacal laugh

ORTON: also I'm here