Independence Day affords every American the opportunity to grill, reflect on the history of the nation and, state law permitting, set things on fire. Families spill out of houses to eat pie on porches or in yards while remembering the achievements of their forefathers; those ordinary men who rallied together in a unified stand against tyranny, injustice and the oppressing forces of that mother ship that blew up the White House.

Call me a bigot but I still hate those aliens.


Despite the intergalactic triumph which made this three-day weekend possible, the United States doesnât have an outstanding track record with revolutions. The standard procedure for unsuccessful rebellions is to sweep them under the rug of history in order to avoid humiliation. But some of these insurgencies are such colossal failures that they refuse to go away. The following are five astoundingly bad revolts of all sizes, from attempts to overthrow government to university building occupations. Iâve provided them as helpful lessons on what to avoid if you ever build your own insurgency.