Interview With An Ex-Vegan: Cyrena

The heart of this blog will always be photos of sickly vegans. But since vegans don’t publicly congregate in large groups every day, and I’d like to update this blog more than a few times a month, I have no choice but to introduce other segments. One of these will be interviews with ex-vegans.

The first one will be with my friend Cyrena.

Let Them Eat Meat: When I met you, you were a vegan. Now you’re not. What happened?

Cyrena: Well, I started being vegetarian when I was at gymnastics camp, at the young impressionable age of 11. Veganism followed after, for health reasons, along with some eating issues. Then the ideals followed. But I started feeling less healthy as the years passed, and became more concerned for my health. I then, from you, heard of the primal diet theory, and read up on it; I began to question veganism as the healthiest diet.

LTEM: I remember you were about to go to Japan as a vegan. Would that have been a mistake?

Cyrena: Yes. Sushi was delicious. And I also saw my grandma in Taiwan, who was in the hospital at the time; she heard I stopped being vegan, and then recovered - in that order.

LTEM: How does a person go from thinking that eating meat is pretty much the worst thing in the world to thinking that actually it’s great?

Cyrena: I’m not sure. It doesn’t happen overnight, but I wouldn’t say I consciously think eating meat is great. I think subconsciously, I think it’s great - but consciously, at times I do feel bad about the detrimental environmental impacts.

[Editor’s note: There’s a book called The Vegetarian Myth that might make you feel better about that. I’ll let you read it when I’m done.]

LTEM: After you decided to eat meat again, did you have a dark night of the soul where you had to unlearn your vegan teachings and accept that eating animals is okay? Or did you just leap right back in?

Cyrena: I think I leaped back into it like a former gymnast would have. Although, at times it was a little weird - eating all of these foods again. I guess the landing was shaky. Ha.

LTEM: What was the first food you ate to break your veganism?

Cyrena: Technically, a little bit of salmon tartar. Then a lamb burger in Montreal.

LTEM: How long were you vegan?

Cyrena: I think around 5-6 years.

LTEM: Vegans believe that anyone who is vegan or vegetarian for a while will get violently ill when they first start eating meat again. Did that happen to you?

Cyrena: No. Any illness would be a symptom of a psychological illness.

LTEM: Did you feel like non-vegans suddenly saw you as a fellow human being again?

Cyrena: Yes, I had several “Welcome back to the real world” comments, or something to that effect. I didn’t realize how much of a burden my non-vegan friends saw my dietary choices as. Going to restaurants became much easier. As a vegan, I’d always have to pick which restaurant my friends and I would go to because I was “the one who was picky.”

LTEM: What do people mean when they tell ex-vegans “Welcome back to the real world?”

Cyrena: It was either that or “Welcome back to the good life." I think they probably meant that I could do things non-vegans did without having to separate and distinguish myself - go to normal restaurants, wear leather without being questioned, not have to explain my dietary choices, etc.

As for welcome back to the good life… that’s pretty self-explanatory.

LTEM: Vegans don’t fully appreciate the extent to which their diet annoys people. Though if they did, it might just make them more stalwart in their beliefs. How is it ordering at restaurants without having to pester waiters about animal products?

Cyrena: Hmm, I don’t know, since I usually frequented vegan restaurants. I guess I still pester waiters about something.

LTEM: How did you tell your friends who were still vegan about your Judas-like betrayal of them and everything you used to stand for?

Cyrena: Um…I haven’t…yet. Not all of them.

LTEM: Why are you reluctant to tell your vegan friends about your new, more reasonable diet?

Cyrena: I’m afraid that they wouldn’t want to be my friend anymore. But also, I just don’t really want to get into another debate about why veganism is the best. I’ve been on the brainwashed side before, and there is no arguing with vegans, just being preached to.

[Editor’s note: I went to a party hosted by Cyrena’s vegan friends once. It was on a roof, and the first thing I heard as I walked out was everyone chattering excitedly about seitan. What a nightmare.]

LTEM: What have your post-vegan run-ins with them been like?



Cyrena: Awkward. I recently accompanied two vegan friends of mine to grab dinner. They didn’t want to eat anywhere too expensive, so they picked Chipotle. I didn’t eat anything, because I wasn’t hungry and I think Chipotle is kind of disgusting.

Naturally, the topic of conversation turned toward dietary choices, since I just spent six months in France. They asked me, "How was it being vegan in France?" When I replied that I wasn’t… the face of one of them instantly dropped, and she exclaimed, "What did you eat!?!?" Not ready to tell her how I was a full omnivore, I skirted the issue by saying, "Oh, you know vegetables, fruits, nuts, cheese, yogurt…" Her reaction was, ”Real yogurt!?“

Which is kind of insane when you think about it – vegans are just people subsisting on fake food. The other vegan was nicer about it; she defended me and said that if she were abroad she’d definitely eat cheeses, yogurts etc. – she wanted to experience the food and culture. As soon as she was done saying this, the other vegan was shaking her head in disappointment. Thank goodness they scarfed down their burritos.

LTEM: To my shame, I spent an entirely vegan month in Paris. Ugh. Oh well. Why do you think vegans dislike former vegans so much?

Cyrena: It’s a form of betrayal, as you made the Judas parallel earlier. I guess by doing so I ex-communicated myself from a community of vegans I used to hang out with. Or maybe it’s like I lost purity.

LTEM: Why is purity so important to vegans?

Cyrena: I’m not sure… it seems irrational. It reminds me of the argument that Barnard students are "diluting” the Columbia diploma since we also receive one upon graduation. What does it matter what other people do, as long as you do what you think is right?

I had a vegan friend who once complained to me about how other vegan friends occasionally cheated with a ‘normal’ cookie…and how unfair that was. I don’t really understand what was so unfair about it - I guess it’s a hypocrisy thing. But nobody is really pure. No one. Everyone has unpure thoughts, even vegans.

LTEM: Vegans argue that anyone who becomes an ex-vegan was just not committed enough. They were vegan for the wrong reasons, and basically were never truly vegan at heart. Does that describe you?

Cyrena: No, I was definitely committed. That’s like saying that a woman who cheats on her husband was never committed, married him for the wrong reasons, and never truly loved him. I loved being a vegan when I was, I didn’t cheat, and I thought it would be forever. But it wasn’t meant to be, and people change. It happens.

LTEM: How were you different as a vegan than you are now?

Cyrena: I would say I’m healthier now. My hair is a lot thicker, I don’t feel tired all the time, and I eat less junk food. I bake less.

My mom used to say she could tell when people were vegetarians. I asked her how, and she said that they had a pale, sickly color about them. Can you tell by how pale I am in that photo? And I was in California!

My mom also claims people go crazy around the time of a full moon, though. But sometimes she’s right.

LTEM: Vegans often say “vegans don’t get sick.” How did that work out for you?

Cyrena: I was really healthy when I was a little girl, and almost never got sick. But a year or so into my veganism, I used to get (fairly frequently) pretty heavy nosebleeds. And I caught colds with more ease. I haven’t been sick once since I stopped being vegan.

LTEM: My first couple of years in college, there wasn’t much vegan food in the dorm cafeterias, and I got serious nose bleeds quite a few times. My nose would just not stop bleeding, and I’d have to go to the clinic. But I didn’t think veganism was at fault, only the lack of decent vegan options. But back to you. Did you hate non-vegans?

Cyrena: No, not necessarily. Maybe at times I tried convincing family members, close friends, that they should save themselves too, and become vegan. I thought it was the best way to live. People who respected me, or at least sympathizers for the vegan cause, were definitely higher up in my book.

I think that I was more about love, and any vegan I encountered I immediately would be interested in them, and want to talk to them. Especially about being vegan.

LTEM: When you’re vegan, veganism in someone else automatically pushes them up a notch on the attractiveness scale. Did you dream of raising vegan children?

Cyrena: Yes. ½ Asian, vegan children.

LTEM: Did you think there should be a national vegan fast food chain, and that if there were one, it would be really popular?

Cyrena: No, never. I was, and am, still against any fast food chain. Even as a vegan I never ate fries or anything from fast food joints. The food is gross, and the policies are gross. And look at the people who normally eat fast food – gross.

LTEM: What milk replacement did you prefer: soy milk, rice milk, almond milk, oat milk, quinoa milk, multi-grain milk, or other?

Cyrena: I liked soy milk; I drank it growing up, in addition to cow’s milk. I also really like almond milk; but then again I like anything involving almonds. Almost.

LTEM: As far as meat substitutes, were you more of a soy or a wheat gluten type of girl?

Cyrena: Soy. Being raised on Asian food, I already ate a lot of tofu anyway.

LTEM: What is your favorite actual meat now?

Cyrena: Salmon.

LTEM: Do you still like to go to vegan restaurants and eat vegan food?

Cyrena: Yep. Though I guess just the high-quality ones, not any vegan joint that just serves imitation meat/junk food. I still really like Angelica Kitchen and Caravan of Dreams.

LTEM: What is the most absurd vegan trait?

Cyrena: Oh, I don’t know if there is one common trait I can think of. There’s a lot of absurdity for sure. But I guess I would say vegan tattoos are as absurd as getting your lovers’ name tattooed. It’s sweet, but stupid.

LTEM: And especially embarrassing if you ever stop being vegan.Do you think all vegans inevitably cave eventually?

Cyrena: If they want to live in the real world, yes. Otherwise, if vegans are surrounded by vegan friends in an entirely vegan community, I’m sure they’ll be able to remain status quo.

LTEM: Do you miss being vegan?

Cyrena: Sometimes, but not really. I tell myself sometimes, and I’ve said recently, that I could easily be vegan again. It really isn’t hard, but it really isn’t that great. I just wouldn’t. I guess it was an interesting time of my life.