Making a home means starting over

Whistler is home to many outdoorsy individuals and has an ebb and flow of 10,000 people per season, most of which stay a year or three and move on.

It's understandable why so many try out life in Whistler. This transient little mountain village we call home combines the small town feel with some of the best recreational opportunities in the world and many of the big city amenities that many of us grew up with.

Aside from the housing issue and maybe the cost of living, one thing that is important to making Whistler home is having friends. Good friends can bring you up when you are down, share an epic day on the mountain and scream just as loud as you do when startled by an unexpected bear sighting.

One of the most challenging aspects of living in Whistler is finding the right friends. No, I don't mean finding friends whose coattails you can ride to the top of the Whistler socialite scene (which, by the way, looks more like pro athletes opening boxes from sponsors full of freebies and not paying for drinks than formal dresses and debutant balls). I mean finding solid friends who will be there when they say they will (and on time too, give or take the 15 minutes "Whistler time" allowance) and who you want to help when they are in need.

If we can all agree that good friends are important to being happy, where should we look first?

In my experience here I've learned that there are three main types of people who live here and after polling them it has become clear that there are surefire ways to meet each type.

Please excuse the stereotypes.

The first type is the "Lively Local". They are (usually) in their early 20s and have come to Whistler to experience their first taste of freedom; their rite of passage into the world of working for nothing and living for everything. They make up a larger percentage of our transient society and are known to fill those jobs that make most of us thankful. I'm thinking specifically of the poor liftees sitting at the top of the mountain shivering, putting on a brave smile to ensure tourists enjoy their mountain experience). They love to party, live the bar scene and are stoked to hit the slopes. Friendly in nature, easy to spot walking the village stroll in the latest and greatest fashions, they're here for a good time and (Trooper notwithstanding) sometimes even a long time.

Next we have the "Long Time Local," those who have been here for 10 years-plus. These people have grown out of the bar scene and are seeking something more. A lot of them are local business owners and operators, have serious jobs and mortgages to pay. Maybe it's the smell of the groomers in the morning, or perhaps the skunk cabbage while walking their WAG pooches, but these folks are here for the true mountain lifestyle. They love to get out into nature; hiking, biking, skiing and any other sport ending with "ing." On occasion you can find them out for a wee pint reminiscing over what Whistler used to be about or sharing a hearty laugh with an old acquaintance with whom they once worked with. But life is busy for them, they have a job to do, and they work hard to be able to play hard.

The last type of Whistlerite is the "Newcomer." This person hopes to carve a life out here the moment they arrive, and to one day be considered a long-time local. They have said goodbye to the life they knew before to move up here and build a newer, better and more fulfilling life for themselves. It's not easy. They compete with our Lively Locals for jobs and places to live, but need to work to pay for the new bike/skis/board/snowmobile, etc. The Lively Locals they meet move away, the Long Time Locals already have their social groups, so it's hard to find friends to enjoy the town with.

So with all of the different types of people here, why can it be so hard to find someone you want to hang out with? The answer to this lies in the transient and tourist nature of Whistler.

"It can be hard to open up to new people, especially since so many people come and go each year," said Steve, a Lively Local who has been here for three seasons now and is verging on Newcomer status.

"I want to make friends, it's just that I am so busy keeping in touch on Facebook with all those who've left I have no time!" exclaimed Sydney, a 20-something girl from Australia who has worked for the Mountain for the past two seasons and who has given up making new friends.

Perhaps you've made the effort a few times and made some really great buds over the years, but as soon as that snow melted they were gone just like your first tracks on a big powder day. You had a blast with them, hope to do it all again, but who knows if you ever will.

It's hard to say goodbye and year after year you become jaded watching new people come to Whistler. It might be easier you think, to keep the friends you already have and be happy that they haven't left...yet.

Do you know that girl scout song "make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other's gold?" We need to remember that life is all about experience and that some experiences can only be gained through other people, their cultures and their travels. As sad as it leaves us to see our old pals go, we need to focus on the global unification we have created here in Whistler where, after one season, you can simply send an email and you'll have a place to stay in Australia, Quebec, South Africa, France, Ontario and any other place Whistler recruits its disciples. Let us remember that the next time we are introduced to someone new.

So where do you find these people listed above and how do you befriend them? Of course you can make friends anywhere and you are not limited to being friends with those who you share your category. But here are some places to meet people from the various categories:

Our Lively Locals are the easiest to find and the most eager to hang out. According to Sandra from England, the best place to meet them is working in a bar or restaurant. "The great thing about the hospitality industry is as soon as you start work you gain an instant social life." Sandra learned this firsthand since she came to Whistler four months ago and knew no one. Now, after scoring a serving job, she's made heaps of friends.

Derek from Ontario told me that, "People in the service industry are outgoing, friendly and definitely into going out for drinks after work." He was delighted to be invited out for drinks after his first dish-pit shift six months ago and he still hangs out with his buddies from work daily.

Another way to meet the Lively Locals is to rent a room in your house. Dani from California made 29 instant friends when she moved into her place. Of course she was completely overwhelmed that 30 people could fit in her small but tall house, but she was also happy to meet so many people so quickly. Dani told me that when you share space with another it binds you; you go out together and you come home together. It's almost like you form a little Whistler family in your house.

Another way to meet the Lively Local is through friends. "It takes friends to make friends," Mark from South Africa told me. He said that he's met tons of great pals just by going out and meeting his friends' friends.

I've always found people in Whistler were good about introducing friends to other friends, creating a degree of separation that even Kevin Bacon would be jealous of. Doesn't it make you feel all warm and cosy bumping into people you know? But, in order to go from acquaintance to friend, you need to put the time in and actually get to know a person. The good thing here is a lot of our Lively Locals are cool with just going out for drinks, nothing too serious please!

Our famed Long Time Locals can be tough nuts to crack. Don't expect to be invited into this persons' inner sanctum (in this case a close group of friends they've known for 10 years) quickly; it will take time to develop a friendship.

"I'm not looking for a bar buddy or someone to skate with, what I look for in a friend is someone who has a vested interest in keeping Whistler great," is what Andy told me. He's originally from Terrace, B.C. (but according to him it doesn't count because he's been here so long!). He wants to be sure new friends are worth the investment.

The Long Time Locals have lost so much to those who have left our fair town and a piece of them gets taken with each goodbye. But meet the right one and this fiercely loyal bunch have a lot to offer. Most of them have connections all over the place, which can make finding a job, starting a business or just plain getting involved in Whistler a lot easier.

The best places to meet these folks are normal, everyday haunts.

"I met a great couple this past summer at the dog beach at Rainbow. I saw them a few times then one day while our dogs played I struck up a conversation. After a few more bump-ins my husband and I were graciously invited over for a barbecue. We proved to them that we were the real deal, certainly no bar stars, just a nice couple looking to expand our friendship base," said Lauri, who has lived in Whistler for six years.

Christina from Ontario told me that Toonie Rides and Women's Wednesdays in the Whistler Mountain Bike Park are good ways to meet the long timers. The key is consistency. "The more you go, the more you show them that you are worth getting to know. It may sound harsh but these people see themselves as the modern day founders of Whistler and you need to prove that you aren't just some here-today-gone-tomorrow-temporary-local". It took time for Christina to learn this but after her fifth ride people really started warming up to her.

Volunteering is a good way to give back and make friends. Long Time Locals have been under the Whistler spell for so many years and have such a strong love for it that they are honour-bound to give back to the community. Todd from Victoria found that once you gave your time and showed that you shared their passion for this fantastic little mountain village, they'd give you a shot.

Another great way to meet Long Time Locals is through your kids. Lindsay, who has lived here for the past 14 years, told me that when she drops her daughter off at school she usually ends up chatting with other parents. It's made it a lot easier since she started walking her daughter to school because it gets her out of her car and out with others just like her.

To find good friends in the Long Time Local category, prepare to be the real deal. Get involved in the community, become a regular at events, volunteer and open up to other parents. Your life will only get better as you meet more of these wonderful people and pitch in to keep Whistler wonderful.

The last group are our "Newcomers." For them, they are just happy to meet people - they'll sort out the keepers later. Right now it's about settling in to their new lifestyle.

They typically spend all day in the village, trying to network the old fashioned way by saying hi and using their charms - the way they used to do it in the city. They haven't learned yet that here that time equals credibility when it comes to making friends.

A great way to meet the Newcomer is on the bus. They'll be the ones who offer you a seat beside them (unlike that guy with the wet touque and gloves hogging the seat next to him).

Justine from France shared with me that, "We Newcomers are friendly and eager to learn the ins and outs of Whistler. We treat each new person as if they could be great friends and are appreciative of any invite out." She found most public places good forums to meet like-minded people.

Roger from Winnipeg, who up and moved his family here eight months ago, said that when he goes out he tends to flock towards the pubs rather than the clubs. He said he isn't looking for a crazy night out, just a few pints and some good chats.

Anna from Denmark found going to Church (yes, there are many churches here in Whistler) to be a great way for her to meet friends. She said that the parish really reaches out to new people to help them feel welcome.

Catherine from Vancouver said that when she first moved here she loved hanging out in coffee shops. Because she was trying to make a life here, she would sit and watch people come and go all day and absorb the norms in Whistler.

The Newcomers are great people to befriend. They are friendly, full of experience (after all, it takes guts to move to Whistler permanently), open to hanging out without booze being involved (like Richie from Saskatchewan, who told me that he wanted to hang out but couldn't afford beers), and will someday be one of our beloved Long Time Locals.

An important thing to remember is that everyone in Whistler has something in common. We all love our little village and for whichever reason we have come here its beauty unites us. Whoever you meet, you have that in common with.

It doesn't matter what you do here in Whistler, how old you are, or if you ski or board or neither. You can be friends with anyone and I encourage you to open your heart and let new people in. You never know what they may bring into your lives or what experiences knowing them could afford you. Let's make Whistler a friendly place for everyone who chooses to come here, whether it's for a year or the rest of their lives.