How do you turn an entire living world into a single story? Director Duncan Jones has signed up to turn the multiplayer universe of World of Warcraft into a feature film, and it is not, it's fair to say, going to be an easy task.

In films, after all, the general rule is: one hero fights the bad guys, nearly dies but wins, and the credits roll. But in World of Warcraft around ten million player-controlled heroes - among them elves, minotaurs and even pandas - wage online war against each other and an infinite supporting cast of monsters, for all eternity. A great many of its heroes and villains will have died and returned to life over a thousand times.

Not only is there no clear end, little jeopardy and no clear hero: there's not even any clear objective. As well as fighting across four major continents, and even back and forth through time, players pursue careers as herbalists, engineers or craftsmen, band together in guilds, build homes and stage lavish and well-attended weddings. Attempting to distil the World of Warcraft experience into a single hero's quest is like trying to make a skirt out of France.

That said, if they're going to try, there are certain scenes that absolutely have to be in there. Such as...

The Character Creation Screen

Shot in a single continuous take, the hour-long opening sequence introduces the hero piece-by-piece, as the player agonises over race, class, hairstyle, skin colour and name, before finally settling on a Dwarf Warrior with yellow skin and a bright green afro named "uLkOr ThE sLaYeReR".

The Bit Where the Hero Gets Called a "n00b!"

This early scene is key to understanding uLkOr's motive throughout the film. Cries of "LOL n00b!" ring in his ears after he humiliates himself by running repeatedly into a wall during the game's first battle. He resolves to grow strong enough to one day berate other new players for being new.

The Awkward Assembling of a Team

We see uLkOr making friends with a colourful cast of fellow adventurers. He strikes up some deep and touching friendships while training, but eventually out-levels them and ends up travelling with a group of Spanish strangers.

The Six-Month-Long Training Montage

In the longest and most repetitive training montage in cinema history, we watch as uLkOr doggedly picks off enemy stragglers one by one, incrementally upgrades his equipment, rearranges keyboard shortcuts and eventually reaches level 26.

The Death of an AFK Ally

Around the middle of the film, one of his new mates gets a phone-call, leaves his character unattended, and gets killed. We see that uLkOr is clearly heart-broken.

The Lowest Ebb

With the group's tank dead, everyone else begins to drop like flies. Thinking all is lost, uLkOr "rage quits". We see the player for the first time. He punches the monitor, smashing it, cries, and then heads downstairs to be stand-offish with his family.

The Climactic Final Battle

After a few days out to buy a new monitor, uLkOr logs back in and faces his final challenge. In the nail-biting finale, the team overcomes the odds by luring the evil mastermind into running round in a circle for five minutes.

The Massive Row About the Boss Loot

After finally vanquishing their hated foe, the team spend half an hour swearing at each other over who gets to keep the epic loot drop. In the end, after typing "QQ moar bitchez" around four hundred times, they let uLkOr hold on to it. Back in the town, he spies a fledgling hero looking for advice and tells him "STFU n00b!!!" The hero's transformation is complete.