Remember that “major announcement” freakishly coiffed carnival barker Donald Trump was slated to make at noon today, one rumored to involve the Obama’s divorce papers? Yeah, well, we should have been so lucky. The reality is more like this…

Basically, all Trump’s “major announcement” amounts to is that he is the new P.T. Barnum…

This is America in 2012, you guys! Yaaaaayyyyyyy! Thank God we still have The Onion…