The Gastonguays had it all planned.

The Arizona family was going to leave the sinful land of the US, and make a pure life in the island nation of Kiribati. Unfortunately, two things got in the way: storms and the Pacific Ocean.

According to Talking Points Memo, Hannah Gastonguay said she and her family were fed up with the US government. As Christians, they do not believe in ‘abortion, homosexuality, in the state-controlled church.’

‘Churches aren’t their own,’ Gastonguay claimed.

In case you’re wondering, the family do not belong to any church but know their Scripture.

‘The Bible is pretty clear,’ she offered.

This past May Mrs. Gastonguay, her husband, his father, and the couple’s daughters, a 3-year-old and a baby, get on their boat, in California, and set sail to paradise. Unfortunately, a few storms get in the way, and they don’t see land for 91 days.

Eventually they are picked up by a ‘Venezuelan fishing vessel, transferred to a Japanese cargo ship and taken to Chile where they are resting in a hotel in the port city of San Antonio.’

Here is the part GSN loves: their return to the States has been set up by US Embassy officials.

Oh, irony. Why are you so sweet and tasty?

Happy travels Gastonguay family! ‘Abortion, homosexuality, in the state-controlled church’ have missed you.