Man Just Wants To Play Violent Military Shooter About Global Conflict Without Critics Bringing Politics Into It



Gamer Caleb Pearson, 23, has today expressed his mounting dissatisfaction with the level of critical analysis being applied to video games by suggesting that people should just keep politics out of it.



Pearson was enjoying a quiet game of Battlefield  where players form into teams representing global military powers and fight for land and resources using advanced weaponry and vehicles created by multi-billion dollar global mega-corporations  when he spoke to us, and explained that these so-called critics were looking for stuff that just isnt there.



Where is the politics in a game like this? asked Pearson, gesticulating wildly at the screen as he gunned down a Chinese soldier and snatched his dog tags. Whats political about that?



Pearson later rage-quit the game and went to relax on his couch in front of Grand Theft Auto, where he drove around taking part in violent, racially-motivated gang warefare and ran over some prostitutes in an extremely non-political manner.



I just want to enjoy my game, you know? lamented Pearson. When some with a gender studies degree comes up to me and says wow, this game really hates women, its like its just a game, bitch!



Cant they understand that? How fucking hard is that to figure out? Not everything has to be analysed. If Grand Theft Auto gives me a quest that rewards me for killing feminists, well, its like, whatever, right? Stop over-thinking it.



Up next on Pearsons play list is Assassins Creed Syndicate, a game where two trained killers overthrow state infrastructure and assassinate rich capitalists, installing their own operations to maximise personal profits.



Pearson says he cant wait to see what those over-sensitive hipsters think of this one!