There is just too much Jeff Goldblum for one article. Herewith, a collection of the most Goldblumiest moments that didn’t make it in the piece. Presented in a fashion as to yield the most unadulterated Goldblum per word. (i.e. I tried to stay out of the way).

There are lyrics to the "Jurassic Park" theme song. At least according to Jeff Goldblum. On the night I saw him perform with his band the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra, he warmed up the audience by playing said theme song on the piano, and added these lyrics: "In Jurassic Park / scary in the dark / I’m so scared that I’ll be eaten."

View more

From there Goldblum segued into a game of Name that Tune, movie theme song edition. Most of these seemed to make him emotional. A few examples, in unmarred Goldblumnese:

"OK, what’s this from? [plays Schindler’s List theme] I’m already upset."

"OK, this one’s a movie about the same issue. [plays Sophie’s Choice theme] What’s that from? I’m already crying. I’m giving you a hint. I’m crying, I’m crying! I’m giving you a hint. No, I’m not crying for The Crying Game, no. It’s not Crybaby, no. No, it has something to do with Schindler’s List. OK, I’ll give you a hint. Here are the actors in it: Kevin Kline, Meryl Streep. Exactly right. Sophie’s Choice."

"What movie is this from? Now, this is also a heartbreaking movie. I’m crying again; I’m crying at this movie. Not the same issue as the first one. [plays theme from The Deer Hunter] Come on. Robert De Niro is in it. And John Cazale. What? I don’t know who said it; I don’t think that’s right. Meryl Streep is also in it. [audience member calls out "The Deer Hunter"] What? [audience member repeats it] Yeah. [sings in a falsetto for a while]"

That same night, Jeff Goldblum discusses celebrities who have names that are also food:

"Kevin Bacon, his name is food, exactly right. What’s next? Tim Curry, very good. At the spice table. Who? John Candy, excellent. Excellent. Who else? Jon Hamm, very good, very good. Who? Halle Berry, fantastic. What else, what else? Here, would you say this a good one: Will I Yam. Will I Yam. No, you say no. You do not accept that."

And a bit later, Jeff Goldblum transitioned to the subject of porn:

"I think George Walker Bush the elder was Poppy; his nickname was Poppy Bush. Everybody knows Poppy Bush. That was my porn name early on; you can look it up. Don’t get those movies. I’m trying to get them all taken off the Internet. Don’t get them. Those were hard; I’m ashamed. I shouldn’t have done that. I just shouldn’t have done it; there was no reason! What was it called? My porn film? Starring Poppy Bush—well, what do you think it would be called? You make it up. Give me a name. What? "Jurassic Cock." Very good, very good. So revealing, this game. This is the kind of crowd—this is a dirty crowd. Jurassic Cock. Independence Cock. You can put a cock in every title! Come on, Igby Goes Cock, Cock Goes Down. The Open Fly. The Open Fly! The Grand Budapest Ho-tel? The Grand Budapest Ho-tel. Hey, that’s good. I get it. I get it. Starring Poppy Bush. Alright well, we don’t have any other mention of that."

An important conversation with Jeff Goldblum about surnames and his decision to keep his:

_Are you taking his name? _

I’m so attached to "Bans," I don’t think I can change it.

Well, of course you’re modern. No, no, I wouldn’t even suggest that you should change it. No. "Bans." And what’s your middle name?

Elizabeth.

Lauren Elizabeth Bans. Fantastic, fantastic, fantastic.

Yeah, it’s not bad. "Jeff Goldblum" is nice.

You think so?

Yeah. What’s your middle name?

Lynn. L-Y-N-N.

Nice.

You think so?

Yeah. Very androgynous.

Yeah. More even on the girly side, let’s be frank, than in the middle, androgynous.

Who is it after?

Nobody. My parents were whimsical, I suppose is one way to put it. I think they liked the British I-don’t-know-what. So Lee Sander, "Sander" was his middle name. The older is Jay Richard Goldblum. And then Jeffrey Lynn. But it’s a challenge; I mean what do you do if you’re going to name somebody with the last name "Goldblum?" You don’t go with "Raá¿¥el" or something that further solidifies the you know...Or maybe you do. Or Ben or Jacob or Max or something that sounds like an accountant. But you don’t want to go with—you want to offset it, maybe? Virgil, you know? Or Clem or something.

"Jesus."

Jesus... Jesus Goldblum. Ixnay on the esus-Jay.

Did you ever feel pressure to change "Goldblum" when you were starting out?

Never pressure, but there was an agent early on, as per our subject I think, who said, "Mmm, you haven’t done anything. You could get that part in Death Wish; you’d play the bad guy. You look kind of... if you changed it to, like, "Gonzalez" or "Hernandez," I’ll bet you could have a lot of playing skeevy kind of Hispanic characters. How’s that?" Nothing yet had happened much, but I was like, "I don’t think that’s my path. I don’t think I want to carve out that path."

How to get in fighting Jeff Goldblum shape (aka his breakfast smoothie recipe):

_I made a smoothie this morning, as is my wont to do. _

What’d you put in it?

Well, I’ll tell you. Today I put everything in it. So I put greens, a big layer of greens: spinach and kale. And then a sliced apple, and a sliced peach, and a sliced, very beautiful pear today, and some sliced ginger, and some sliced carrot.

Sounds amazing.

And then some nuts and some little vanilla and some chia seeds and some protein powder and then some nonfat Greek yogurt and then some frozen strawberries, blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries.

That is a super-food drink.

It’s super-food. Now the "game-changer"—one of my least favorite trendy phrases—but the "game-changer" is the big Vitamix, or big blender of some kind—I’m not pushing any brand—that really allows you to put all that stuff in and [snaps fingers] in a second, really blend it. And on top of that, a big navel orange, push it down, and the liquid, very important—so you stay low on sugar, as per Harley—there’s almond milk and there’s nonfat milk, which isn’t bad, but the Zero Vitamin Water is tops.

Jeff Goldblum on his very funny Grand Budapest compatriots:

"People would come and go, you know, and of course Bill Murray came and went. And he’s a barrel of, obviously, laughs, all the time. There were a lot of funny people, you know... Ralph Fiennes is a lovely guy, deeply, humanly funny and very focused, very serious, but very funny. All I know, you know, everybody’s funny. You know, Adrien Brody, Edward Norton would tell hilarious—he’s a raconteur of great ability and retainment. And Wilson is fun and funny. And everybody’s got funny stories. And Wes Anderson himself is funny in a very particular way, and the stories he’s interested in talking about—what he’s interested in talking about and what he says is very funny in a very particular, sophisticated, as you can imagine, and delightful, delicious way. Jason Schwartzman is a million laughs. He’s not only very talented and deep and soulful and a great teacher of many things—of life and art-making—but a million laughs. He...yeah. Yeah. He reminds me of my friend Bruno Kirby. Do you remember him? He died unexpectedly when he was 57, several years ago, sadly. But he and I had done a movie in ’76 together with Joan Micklin Silver—Between the Lines. He was in Godfather II, played Young Clemenza, many Barry Levinson movies he did; you’d know him. He was always fun, uniquely fun, hilarious, and funny to be around. Jason Schwartzman reminds me of him. He makes everything fun and funny. Yep."

And one last round with Jeff Goldblum:

I like your fingernail polish and everything.

Thank you; it’s really wearing off.

Yes. Good.

Oh here, I’ll get the check.

No!

Yes!

No. What!

Related:

The GQ Profile in Which Jeff Goldlum Talks About Cuddling Woody Allen Talking Style with Jeff Goldblum