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The densest element in the known Universe has been found - Pelosium

Posted on by trooprally

Pelosium: A major research institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to science. The new element has been named Pelosium. Pelosium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 311.

These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

The symbol of Pelosium is PU.

Pelosium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons within the Pelosium molecule, leading to the formation of isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientist to believe that Pelosium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass. When catalyzed with money, Pelosium activates CNNadnausium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons as Pelosium.





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To: 1 Olgoat; 103198; 10Ring; 11Bush; 1stbn27; 2ndhandrose; 2SterlingConservatives; 2yearlurker; ...

Dc Chapter Master Ping List Just for laughs.



by 2 posted onby trooprally (Never Give Up - Never Give In - Remember Our Troops)

To: trooprally

Scientific research got it right this time, heh heh!



by 3 posted onby KStorm (1. It will be said that the geniuses among us didn't see it coming. 2. Beware of world peace.)

To: trooprally

Pulsar #2 ?



To: trooprally; Gosh I love this neighborhood; Mrs. P; captain cynic

LOL-saturday morning laugh ping



To: trooprally

Very Good



To: trooprally

Heh. This dense element also distorts the perception via the Dopeler Effect...



by 7 posted onby Mrs. Don-o (Dopeler effect (n): The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.)

To: trooprally

Great Saturday morning laugh!



To: trooprally

But, amazingly enough, even with all its density Pelosium still exhibits significant sagging and sensitivity to gravitational pull.



To: trooprally

Did Alexandre Dumas ever write about this?



To: trooprally

Pelosium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons ...and ONE MORON



To: trooprally

This is BRILLIANT!



To: trooprally

Can It be destroyed?



by 13 posted onby DeaconRed (REPUBLICANS: You are going to get one more chance. Don't BLOW it this time. This will be IT. . . .)

To: Voter#537

Fortunately Pelosium can’t travel too far from it’s power source which is a black hole.



To: trooprally

Excellent!



by 15 posted onby Pablo64 (Political Correctness is a DISEASE. <==> TRUTH is the CURE.)

To: trooprally

I’m assuming it’s radioactive? What’s it’s half-life? How fast does it decay? Please tell me it will decay by November.



To: trooprally

Please keep this frightening element away from the children’s eyes, it could have lasting and devastating effects.



To: trooprally

i thought the only thing in nature more dense than Depleted Uranium is Algorium. i thought the only thing in nature more dense than Depleted Uranium is Algorium. It is much too dense to be fashioned into a practical weapon, and is so unstable, it will actually go off on unassisted. Highly embarrassing



by 18 posted onby Chode (American Hedonist *DTOM* -ww- NO Pity for the LAZY)

To: trooprally

Reminds me: how to find photos of Stretch Pelosi—taken pre-Stretch.



by 19 posted onby Arthur McGowan (In Edward Kennedy's America, federal funding of brothels is a right, not a privilege.)

To: trooprally

Very Funny — and unfortunately, Very True.



by 20 posted onby Uncle Chip (TRUTH : Ignore it. Deride it. Allegorize it. Interpret it. But you can't ESCAPE it.)

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