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--> A midday take on what's happening in politics and how to have a sense of humor about it.*

*Ha. Haha. Hahah. Sniff. Haha. Sniff. Ha--breaks down crying hysterically.

The Hill's 12:30 Report: Mueller report fallout | Tough decision ahead for Dems | Nadler issues subpoena for full report | Trump calls parts of report 'total bulls---' | Trump blames Obama for Russian interference | Key Mueller report takeaways | Winners, losers | Unanswered questions | Five Obama ambassadors back Buttigieg | Biden eyeing Wednesday 2020 launch | How Notre Dame's art was saved

MUELLER REPORT UPDATES THIS MORNING

'Subpoena' is the congressional 'abracadabra':

House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerrold Nadler Jerrold (Jerry) Lewis NadlerDemocrats shoot down talk of expanding Supreme Court Schumer: 'Nothing is off the table' if GOP moves forward with Ginsburg replacement Top Democrats call for DOJ watchdog to probe Barr over possible 2020 election influence MORE (D-N.Y.) just issued a subpoena for the Department of Justice to handle over special counsel Robert Mueller Robert (Bob) MuellerCNN's Toobin warns McCabe is in 'perilous condition' with emboldened Trump CNN anchor rips Trump over Stone while evoking Clinton-Lynch tarmac meeting The Hill's 12:30 Report: New Hampshire fallout MORE's full unredacted report. http://bit.ly/2VdMRbo

The date for the DOJ to comply with the subpoena: May 1

Nadler said in a statement: "I am open to working with the Department to reach a reasonable accommodation for access to these materials, however I cannot accept any proposal which leaves most of Congress in the dark, as they grapple with their duties of legislation, oversight and constitutional accountability."

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The Justice Department has already agreed to allow a few lawmakers to read a less-redacted version as soon as next week.

Why parts are redacted: For national security reasons or details related to ongoing criminal investigations.

Cough, cough, co-TOTAL BS-ugh, cough:

"President Trump Donald John TrumpBiden on Trump's refusal to commit to peaceful transfer of power: 'What country are we in?' Romney: 'Unthinkable and unacceptable' to not commit to peaceful transition of power Two Louisville police officers shot amid Breonna Taylor grand jury protests MORE on Friday lashed out over special counsel Robert Mueller's redacted report a day after declaring the report cleared him of collusion and obstruction, claiming some statements about him in the document 'are total bullshit.'" http://bit.ly/2KOozR4

His new insult for the Mueller report: The "Crazy Mueller Report."

Trump's criticism: "Statements are made about me by certain people in the Crazy Mueller Report, in itself written by 18 Angry Democrat Trump Haters, which are fabricated & totally untrue. Watch out for people that take so-called 'notes,' when the notes never existed until needed. Because I never agreed to testify, it was not necessary for me to respond to statements made in the 'Report' about me, some of which are total bullshit & only given to make the other person look good (or me to look bad). This was an Illegally Started Hoax that never should have happened."

Happy Friday! Today is Good Friday and the start of Passover. I'm Cate Martel with a quick recap of the morning and what's coming up. Send comments, story ideas and events for our radar to cmartel@thehill.com -- and follow along on Twitter @CateMartel and Facebook.

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WHAT WE'VE LEARNED FROM THE MUELLER REPORT

FIVE TAKEAWAYS:

It's good news for Trump The question of obstruction took center stage Trump was deeply concerned over Mueller appointment The report sets up challenges for Pelosi Mueller will be in the congressional spotlight

Context and details for each: http://bit.ly/2UqQfeg

IF YOU WANT TO UNDERSTAND THE ACTUAL TEXT OF THE REPORT:

Politico has created an annotated version of the report, pulling quotes and explaining their significance. The annotated version: https://politi.co/2XsVJHI

WINNERS AND LOSERS IN THE MUELLER REPORT RELEASE:

Winners: Special counsel Robert Mueller; President Trump; congressional Republicans; former White House counsel Donald McGahn Donald (Don) F. McGahnCongress hits rock bottom in losing to the president in subpoena ruling Rudy Giuliani's reputation will never recover from the impeachment hearings In private moment with Trump, Justice Kennedy pushed for Kavanaugh Supreme Court nomination: book MORE.

Mixed: Speaker Nancy Pelosi Nancy PelosiHoyer: House should vote on COVID-19 aid — with or without a bipartisan deal Ruth Bader Ginsburg lies in repose at Supreme Court McCarthy threatens motion to oust Pelosi if she moves forward with impeachment MORE (D-Calif.)

Losers: Attorney General William Barr Bill BarrHarris faces pivotal moment with Supreme Court battle Hillicon Valley: DOJ proposes tech liability shield reform to Congress | Treasury sanctions individuals, groups tied to Russian malign influence activities | House Republican introduces bill to set standards for self-driving cars McCarthy threatens motion to oust Pelosi if she moves forward with impeachment MORE; cable news pundits

Context and details on each from The Hill's Niall Stanage: http://bit.ly/2GkTajQ

THE MAJOR QUESTIONS LEFT UNANSWERED:

http://bit.ly/2XkqOgq

TIDBITS:

Mueller report mentions: Via The Hill's Bob Cusack Robert (Bob) CusackThe Hill's Campaign Report: Biden asks if public can trust vaccine from Trump ahead of Election Day | Oklahoma health officials raised red flags before Trump rally Shakespeare Theatre Company goes virtual for 'Will on the Hill...or Won't They?' The Hill's 12:30 Report - Presented by Facebook - Big 10 votes to resume football season MORE, here's how many times special counsel Robert Mueller's report references key players and terms: http://bit.ly/2ZowAzp

Trump's former personal lawyer Michael Cohen Michael Dean CohenJudge orders Eric Trump to comply with New York AG's subpoena before Election Day A huge deal for campaign disclosure: Trump's tax records for Biden's medical records Our Constitution is under attack by Attorney General William Barr MORE: 820 times

Former national security adviser Michael Flynn: 668 times

Former White House counsel Donald McGahn: 529 times

Twitter/tweet: 254 times

Former Russian Ambassador Sergey Kislyak: 211 times

Former FBI Director James Comey James Brien ComeyDemocrats fear Russia interference could spoil bid to retake Senate Book: FBI sex crimes investigator helped trigger October 2016 public probe of Clinton emails Trump jabs at FBI director over testimony on Russia, antifa MORE: 20 times

An interesting way to see the redactions:

Here are the 448 pages of volume I of the #MuellerReport in one photohttps://t.co/kU62WDd4BF pic.twitter.com/0tqZLkb0nE — Brian McGill (@brian_mcgill) April 18, 2019

REACTIONS TO THE MUELLER REPORT

#ThanksObama:

Last night, President Trump blamed former President Barack Obama Barack Hussein ObamaThe Memo: Trump's strengths complicate election picture Obama shares phone number to find out how Americans are planning to vote Democrats' troubling adventure in a 'Wonderland' without 'rule of law' MORE for Russian meddling in the 2016 presidential election. http://bit.ly/2Pjeaf5

He tweeted: "Anything the Russians did concerning the 2016 Election was done while Obama was President. He was told about it and did nothing! Most importantly, the vote was not affected." http://bit.ly/2VfDNm8

Your move, Democrats:

Via The Hill's Mike Lillis and Olivia Beavers, House Democrats are in a tough position since the Mueller report became public.

Why: The report is sparking a new round of promises from Democrats to investigate President Trump.

But that wasn't part of the magic elixir in 2018: "Yet Democrats won the House in 2018 on issues like health care and middle-class economic prosperity -- purposefully de-emphasizing the divisive probe into the mercurial president -- and are hoping to ride that same message to victory in the high-stakes 2020 presidential cycle."

Democrats' delicate balancing act: http://bit.ly/2IIQyiy

HOW TO EXPECT CONGRESS TO PROCEED:

Via The Associated Press's Lisa Mascaro, "While the special counsel declined to prosecute Trump on obstruction of justice, he did not exonerate him, all but leaving the question to Congress. Mueller's report provides fresh evidence of Trump's interference in the Russia probe, challenging lawmakers to respond. The risks for both parties are clear if they duck the responsibility or prolong an inquiry that, rather than coming to a close, may be just beginning." http://bit.ly/2Zqb39R

IN CAMPAIGN NEWS

Five powerhouse endorsements for buddha-judge:

Via The Hill's Jonathan Easley, five former ambassadors who served under former President Obama are endorsing South Bend, Ind., Mayor Pete Buttigieg Pete ButtigiegThe Hill's Morning Report - Sponsored by Facebook - GOP closes ranks to fill SCOTUS vacancy by November Buttigieg stands in as Pence for Harris's debate practice Hillicon Valley: FBI, DHS warn that foreign hackers will likely spread disinformation around election results | Social media platforms put muscle into National Voter Registration Day | Trump to meet with Republican state officials on tech liability shield MORE for president. http://bit.ly/2Uut6I6

Who: "The Obama diplomats -- Timothy Broas (Netherlands), John Phillips (Italy), Tod Sedgwick (Slovakia), David Jacobson (Canada) and Bill Eacho (Austria) -- raised millions of dollars for the Obama-Biden ticket in 2008 and 2012."

Joe Biden Joe BidenBiden on Trump's refusal to commit to peaceful transfer of power: 'What country are we in?' Democratic groups using Bloomberg money to launch M in Spanish language ads in Florida Harris faces pivotal moment with Supreme Court battle MORE is more indecisive than a hangry person staring at a 10-page restaurant menu:

Via The Atlantic's Edward-Isaac Dovere, former Vice President Joe Biden is planning to announce his presidential run next Wednesday. http://bit.ly/2ItcX41

The basis of his campaign: "Biden's campaign will, at its core, argue that the response to Donald Trump requires an experienced, calm hand to help America take a deep breath and figure out a way to get back on track."

How he will announce: A campaign announcement video with footage shot outside his old family home in Scranton, Pa.

What his team is debating: Where to hold his launch event -- the Philadelphia Museum of Art or in Charlottesville, Va.

Why a lot of campaign decisions are still up in the air -- $$: [Biden] doesn't have any money to pay for any real campaign operations, since he doesn't have an active campaign account. He'll be hoping for a show of force, raising a few million dollars in the first few weeks. Without that, he couldn't even pay for setting up a rally."

NOTABLE TWEETS

I bet it's a knock-off ;)

A nice big Louis Vuitton is being loaded onto Marine One pic.twitter.com/qce8XXLJKp — Nikki Schwab (@NikkiSchwab) April 18, 2019

I kid. I kid, Melania.

ON TAP

The House and Senate are out.

President Trump is at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, Fla., with no public events on his schedule.

Vice President Pence has no public events on his schedule.

April 29: The Hill's editor-in-chief Bob Cusack interviews Secretary of State Mike Pompeo Michael (Mike) Richard PompeoTreasury sanctions individuals, groups tied to Russian malign influence activities Navalny released from hospital after suspected poisoning Overnight Defense: Pentagon redirects pandemic funding to defense contractors | US planning for full Afghanistan withdrawal by May | Anti-Trump GOP group puts ads in military papers MORE for The Hill's Newsmaker series. Details and how to RSVP: http://bit.ly/2Iug5wK

WHAT TO WATCH

Sunday morning: House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.) will appear on NBC's "Meet the Press."

NOW FOR THE FUN STUFF...

Today is National Garlic Day.

Fascinating read -- and good news:

Via CNN's Eliza Mackintosh and Saskya Vandoorne, here's "how centuries of priceless treasures were saved at Notre Dame." https://cnn.it/2V9pOyu

And to kick off your weekend, here's a cat attempting to harass its bunny friend: http://bit.ly/2Iuhwv8