Last night was not a great night if you were supporting Ted Cruz's campaign for the presidency. Then again, no night can be that good of a night when you're a person who thinks Ted Cruz would make a good president, but a night when he lost all five states is a particularly bad one. And even worse than that, Cruz found a way to once again give credence to the totally serious rumors that he's the infamous Zodiac Killer.

Now, did he release a statement in the form of a cypher for journalists to solve? No. Teddy boy isn't going to be that obvious about it. No. Instead, he's just going to continue to say things that reveal that he's not a normal person and is instead a serial-killing monster who terrorized the West Coast between the years of 1968 and 1972. This week's telltale sign: a basketball hoop.

You see, Ted Cruz was speaking in Indiana and, in an effort to prove to the world he's just a "normal guy" who likes "movies" and "totally didn't commit some of the most brutal murders in our nation's history," attempted to call to mind the movie Hoosiers. Specifically, the scene where Gene Hackman's Norman Dale measures the height of the rim and the size of the key in the giant arena in an effort to prove that even though the venue is big, the court is the same size. But unlike his time as the Zodiac, this time Ted Cruz failed in execution.

A basketball ring?! Sounds like something a serial killer pretending to be a normal person might say, if you ask me.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Jack, how can Ted Cruz be the Bay Area's infamous and terrifying Zodiac Killer when he wasn't even born before some of those murders?" And to that I say, shut up. Don't let "facts" or the "truth" get in the way of the #TedCruzIsTheZodiac movement. It's too important a fake issue to silence.