Welcome back to the Premier League's Missing Generation! If you didn't catch the introduction, there will be a link in the reddit description, and if you're not coming from reddit, there is also a link to it here. In this alternative universe, it's 1st July 2016. More than 1000 top players have just been struck down by contaminated performance-enhancing drugs, and Premier League teams must find ways to maintain their competitiveness for the coming season.



Top pundits are suggesting that Burnley has it in them to win the League this season. Under an experienced manager, Sean Dyche, Burnley has a cohesive, clean squad. Unfortunately, star striker Ashley Barnes is thought to have taken a small dose of the grey powder. In hospital, but not suffering from a life-threatening heart defect like any others, it is thought he will return to the squad after having served a 3-month ban.

Six Hull City players, including Harry Maguire, are ill. They are suspected of having used the grey powder. However, it is possible that the Hull batch of the drug was less contaminated, as again, this squad is relatively intact. If the Hull players recover quickly enough, the club will become another potential title challenger.

Chelsea's squad is still large but very young and inexperienced. It relies heavily on newly purchased world-class defender David Luiz. His faith-based refusal to take the powder was covered in the last part. If David can rally young attacking names like Charly Musonda and Dominic Solanke behind him, Chelsea may go far beyond last season's dismal performance.

Southampton has a good crop of promising young clean players, and this club is also viewed as a potential title challenger.

Watford has an excellent defence but some huge vacancies in the striker and midfield department.

Bournemouth has one clean former first-team player. The dynamic Ryan Fraser has been praised for his principles and is now arguably the best remaining winger in the league. Unfortunately for him, the three next highest valued players left in the club are all left-backs. Unless we see an unusual formation or extensive transfers in, Bournemouth is probably not a title contender but is expected to beat last season's 16th place.

Liverpool under Jurgen Klopp is compelled to rely on its young talent. However, this young talent is showing a great deal of potential, particularly Kevin Stewart, Sheyi Ojo, Harry Wilson and Trent Alexander-Arnold.

With Joel Robles, Everton definitely has the best goalkeeper in the league, and a stand-out midfield talent in Tom Davies, who is expected to become an England regular.

Swansea's squad may appear crippled, but relatively speaking the fans can count on some young bright sparks like Fulton and van der Hoorn.

Arsenal has held on to some young talent despite losing its entire first-team squad.

Now we have covered the top 10 clubs in terms of the value of their remaining squad. Teams below this level must spend big over the next two months, or risk deeply offending their ownership, management and fans.



Beyond Timothy Fosu-Mensah, this Man United squad is uninspiring and overloaded in defence. This might at least prescribe a playing style which suits new manager Jose Mourinho.

Sunderland is fielding a solidly middle-of-the-road squad. The media have no high expectations here, but they are also unlikely to be relegated with this level of depth. (Three of their players have the same surname!?)

Tottenham does have some talented players, but they are extremely young. Only one player in the entire squad has passed his 20th birthday. Will they crack under the pressure of supporting a 'top 6' club?

A solid presence between the sticks in Darren Randolph here for West Ham, but they will need consolidation to fulfil any sort of ambition this season.

For last season's title-winners Leicester, it is a similar story; a solid presence between the sticks in Ben Hamer, but few other notable players.

West Brom has retained a few reasonable players like Sam Field, who is now tipped to feature for England internationally, but almost no depth at all; only 4 players are valued above 100k. Some intense scouting is required immediately.

Stoke City look like candidates for relegation if they fail to recruit enough new talent.

So do Middlesbrough.

And Crystal Palace.

But it is Manchester City under Pep Guardiola, a club completely polluted with the grey powder, that has the lowest player value. City lost not only its entire first team to the drug, but many players beyond that. Nobody doubts that City has the potential to resurge, but will its owners trust the club with more funds after it has epitomised this earth-shattering scandal?

Scouting networks across the world are working in overtime as fabulously wealthy European teams compete to splash the cash. In this context, Sunderland perhaps could have aimed higher than Javi Galan.

Javi Galan plays for Cordoba in the Spanish second division, but anything would be better than Sunderland's current state; having no left winger at all!

Unwilling to trust in caretaker Craig Shakespeare in these trying times, Leicester hires Eugenio Corini, who last managed Chievo.

Manchester United signals the calibre of player it is now willing to take on by signing a 30-year-old free agent who last played in Canada.

However, with these stats, Luke Moore might be United’s best striker. Is he worth the £44,500 the club is paying him in wages?

Manchester United continues to make low-value transfers. Hint: this is not the Mane you know.

New Chelsea goalkeeper M’Fa last played in Africa – but, relatively young and with high determination, he seems a reasonable choice.

Chelsea also sign Ivi, a promising, young attacking player from Sevilla who is notably good at free kicks.

Another player in his 30s who last played in Canada goes to United.

Geoffrey Tulasne brings some experience to Tottenham, but not much besides that. Tulasne has been a free agent for 2 seasons.

Premier League clubs are also signing Championship players…

…and former rejects from other Premier League clubs.

Teddy Bishop will be a balanced presence in Tottenham’s midfield, but his physical stats are very poor.

George Williams only made 10 appearances in League One last season, but his statistics seem promising if unbalanced.

Pundits delight as nearly 3 weeks into the transfer window, there seems to be potential for the League’s next big name signing. Liverpool are chasing Matheus Pereira, a promising young Brazilian winger with 17 flair and 17 technique.

Here are the club value statistics. Many clubs could inject much more capital into transfers; if they were allowed to.

Liverpool continue their ambition by completing the signing of the intense Veton Berisha. However, the fans react poorly to a player who seems so poor at finishing chances.

Many clubs have been performing incredibly poorly in preseason friendlies. Will English clubs remain competitive internationally?

Liverpool manage to sign a competent young Dutch holding midfielder… but what’s that at the top?

After considering Liverpool, Matheus Pereira opts for Chelsea where he can play alongside his fellow talented Brazilian David Luiz. Chelsea are pressing home the advantage that David has given them.

Stay tuned for next time, when we will be watching a friendly match between a still very weak Man City and a full-strength Ajax at the Amsterdam ArenA!

