I’m working on love these days. I spent too many years in a lonely marriage and once I left I vowed to never again rob myself of what I desired most: love, respect, affection, attention err, umm or is it someone with crazy drive and ambition? or both? or…?

I’ve heard many times that knowing what you don’t want is half the battle but I’m not so sure that is the case. It doesn’t seem to clear up the confusion as there are still so many paths to take – which one is right?

Love and relationships can be tricky. It’s hard to tell what is important. Your family shows you what is important, your friends offer opinions about what’s important to them and society, well society is a vicious beast that rams down your throat what should be important. Your experiences and information you’ve gathered about love and relationships is full and ready to be used, but determining what you desire and what is important is a bit more complicated.

All of a sudden, in the midst of your muddling around with the stupidity in your head, you become ensnared in the net of someone who feels like home. Who offers loyalty, crazy amounts of love and affection, is willing to work on their baggage and is willing to accept yours (and boy is my suitcase big). This person just comes along and messes with your whole path by telling you “you’re beautiful” every day (no really, he has not missed a day in three years)…damn him!

We all come with baggage be it abuse or just bad habits and we spend our lifetime trying to manage our crap. We then add a partner with their own baggage and wow that’s when the fun begins. So, how do you know which suitcase of shit is going to put you over the edge? Does your heart tell you? Maybe your gut? Maybe those voices in your head?

I don’t know the answers to any of these questions. I do know, however, whatever is happening right now feels so damn good and I don’t ever want to let it go.

While societal pressures still scream in the back of my mind, those messages are dulled with each hug and kiss. You see, I value what he brings to the table. He might not be a viper, climbing some imaginary career ladder, but you can’t put a price on love, respect and loyalty – and that whole beautiful thing doesn’t hurt either.

So maybe the question is not which path is right, but which one is right for me?