As some of my friends and family know, I’m a big fan of in-your-face social media marketer and video maker Gary Vaynerchuk. But instead of leaving me energized and ready to conquer the world, one of the social guru’s most recent videos left me uneasy. We’re talking mega-uncomfortable.

At the end of the video, Gary asked viewers to respond, via Facebook/Twitter/Youtube (i.e. publicly), with their “truth.” To dig down and share their first-things-first-I’m-the-realest-Iggy-Azalea truth*, the thoughts that take up their daily brainspace.

*(it’s ok if you didn’t get the reference, it’s very 2014).

I don’t know why, but in that moment I typed out thoughts that I hadn’t really shared with anyone before, and I typed them into a comment box on a very public forum.

“I’m terrified of people finding out, and yet I just went and wrote it in a video comment that will be seen by thousands.”

My truth is that I’m a fraud. That the things people see and think I must have worked so hard for, must have persevered for, are the same things I look at and think I don’t deserve in the least bit.

I’m 23 years old and I’ve lived in two foreign countries, am a college graduate, and now have a full-time job in the city of my dreams, but for every time someone close to me tells me how proud they are, I can’t help but think “Proud of what? I just made someone think I was better than I actually was, and that’s why they let me into their school/gave me a job/whatever.”

More generally, I sweep my accomplishments under the rug dismissively as “I was lucky” or “I had a lot of help” or “I just plain don’t deserve what I have.”

I’m terrified of people finding out, and yet I had just gone and wrote it in a video comment that will be seen by thousands. Now, I’m writing an entire article on it, probably guaranteeing a couple more people ‘find me out’.

Why? Because I’m not an impostor, and neither are you.

The phenomenon I’ve been describing has a name, it’s called Impostor Syndrome, and an alarming number of people suffer from it to some degree.

It can be absolutely demoralizing feeling like a fraud or like some facade will come crashing down around you at any moment. And these feelings can quickly snowball into very real inadequacies.

For example, anxiety based upon Impostor Syndrome can lead to a full head of thoughts that keeps you from getting a good night’s sleep. After a restless period, and with a racing mind, you may find your ability to concentrate and deliver, at work, for example, diminishing.

All of a sudden, you’re playing into your own fears, and the scenario you created in your head becomes your reality.

As I see it, the primary conundrum with Impostor Syndrome (a negative) is that it is easily mixed up with humility (a positive). Most of us are taught the importance of remaining humble, and over time the way that we practice humility can be by ‘giving away’ our accomplishments to other people or circumstances.

The reality, is that the two are quite different, and it’s possible to differentiate them, and by extent recognize your own worth without coming off like a pompous a#*hole.

“…there’s some wisdom in realizing that nothing is black and white, and that everything you’ve accomplished, no matter how much help you had, would not have happened without YOU.”

Step 1) Realize that thanking others and thanking yourself are not mutually exclusive

If someone helped you accomplish something, realize that no matter how one-sided an exchange might seem in your head, you played a crucial role.

Let’s take an extreme example in which you need help paying your rent this month, and you ask your friend if they can loan you part of it. Your friend agrees to help you out.

The immediate way most of us view this scenario is as a one-sided interaction: Without your friend’s money, you would have been on the street, or at least in a precarious situation. You failed, and your friend bailed your butt out.

But let’s flip it around for a second.

You had to ask for that favor, right? You had to make a plan to pay that money back, right? Without your being a good friend, having put effort and love into that relationship for years, would you have even have had a friend like that whom you could count on?

Maybe those seem like lame justifications to you right now, but stick with me.

It’s tough to wrap your head around at first, because we’re taught to weigh who participated and how much in every transaction, constantly assessing value and looking for the biggest contributor, but there’s some wisdom in realizing that nothing is black and white, and that everything you’ve accomplished, no matter how much help you had, would not have happened without YOU.

Step 2) Understand that you can hype yourself without shouting it to the world

Living with your own thoughts can be scary, but you can also use them to your advantage. Again, the approach we’re often taught is that you shouldn’t let things “go to your head,” but I say, “f!6k that, your head is exactly where you should be celebrating every little thing you do.”

“Every morning, I look in the mirror and say, ‘You are amazing. You’re going to work really f&§*ing hard today, and accomplish everything you want to.’”

Learn to give yourself a mental pat on the back for everything you do, as it happens. You’re not bragging to anyone about it, you’re still remaining humble, but you’re also keeping track of your own awesome in realtime.

Looking back and taking a big picture approach puts us in that ‘weighing’ mindset where we overlook our own contributions if we don’t see them as massive, but recognizing each decision and effort you put in as it happens can help you to keep yourself in mind.

Every morning, I look in the mirror and say, “You are awesome. You’re going to work really f&§*ing hard today, and accomplish everything you want to.”

It’s cringe-inducing to type that out here and think that someone I know will probably read this and imagine me lamely hyping myself up in the mirror each morning, but it really has helped put me in the mindset to not only work hard, but recognize that I’m actively doing so.

In time, that translates to being able to give myself the tiniest, itty-bitty credit for the things I’ve been able to do so far.

Don’t worry, you’re still keeping it real.

All of this is not to say that you’re discounting those who have helped you or your own fortunate circumstances; every day I think about those who’ve assisted me, who gave me a place to stay, who gave me advice and input, who took a chance on me when I needed it most.

Breaking free of Impostor Syndrome-related thoughts doesn’t require you to discount others as sources of your own success, it just requires you to put yourself into that mix as well.

It takes time, and I’m still pretty terrified of publishing this, because maybe the response will indicate that I am spoiled, undeserving, and haven’t worked hard enough for what I have, but at least I now have the audacity to think that just might not be the case.

I want to leave you with this:

The next time you feel that you only accomplished something because you were lucky, just remember that it’s often the people who work the hardest and sacrifice the most who end up having the most “luck.”

The people who inspire envy in others, who outsiders look in on and say, “look at the life they have, they’re so damn lucky,” are often the people who had the nerve to put their head down, put in the hours, and refuse to take no for an answer. Funny how that works out.

Now, dare to imagine that you might just be the source of your ‘luck,’ too.