TED.com has changed my life.

Firstly, as a seemingly never-ending seminar on public speaking done incredibly well. Second, from the sheer clarity, insight, and passion of the speakers.

My mission here at richardsidwell.com is to help high achieving dads live a life of fun and engagement with their kids without sacrificing financial success or burning out. For any dad to do that takes an extraordinary blend of cleverness, mindset, strategies and tactics, and an unwavering dedication to his values. TED.com has helped me immeasurably with this, so today I want to share with you 3 TED talks that changed my life. Maybe they will help you, too.

1. The Link Between Psychology and Physiology

Amy Cuddy gives a glimpse of the two way street between psychology and physiology. Our emotions show up in the way we move and both are linked by the language we use to describe them. “I’m down,” uttered by a sad person reflects their body language. Shoulders slumped, body slouched, arms huddled close in their lap, and their head and gaze down towards the dirty floor. Compare that to the person who’s “up” to a task. Gaze steady and high, body upright, and with a purposeful spring in their step. The secret she shares is that by adopting the body language, we can feel the emotion. What’s even better is that it’s not just for a few moments; the effects carry over and change the way we perform for a considerable time afterward.

Amy Cuddy – Your Body Language Shapes Who You Are

2. Shame, Vulnerability, and Joy

Putting up a facade of skill, competence, power, and perfection takes a lot of work and energy. Trying to maintain it causes a lot of stress, too. What if I were to tell you, you’d get better results, be happier, have more joy and fulfillment, if you just dropped it? Accept the things that cause you shame, the “I’m not ____ enoughs.” Expose them to others, and admit that you’re worthy of love and connection in spite of them. Have the courage to tell the story of who you are with your whole heart. Have the courage to be imperfect, the compassion to be kind first to yourself, and then to others. Be willing to let go of who you think you should be, in order to be who you are, so that you can connect with people authentically. Fully embrace vulnerability. Have the willingness to do things where there are no guarantees. These are some of the things Brené Brown teaches us in her inspiring talk.

Brené Brown – The Power of Vulnerability



3. Self Confidence and Practice

Another example of something everyone else thinks is innate, but we can actually control comes to us from Dr. Ivan Joseph. He teaches that self confidence is not an inherent trait. It’s not something that we have or do not, and it’s not even a mysterious thing that well meaning or sometimes careless parents and teachers can build up or tear down. Self confidence is a skill that we can take control of for ourselves. It comes from repetition. From many repeated little steps towards the thing we do not believe we can do. Self confidence is the belief that we can do it, because we have done something like it so many times already. Practice.

Dr. Ivan Joseph – The Skill of Self Confidence

