"The stupidity of religion, the idiocy of faith, never ceases to amaze," read the text sent to Melbourne radio host Rafael Epstein.

It came in response to his recent on air interview with Hayley Gleeson about her research on Jewish divorce laws and domestic violence.

The essay, which found growing alarm in Australian Jewish communities that abusive men are denying their wives religious divorce as a bartering tool in custody and property disputes, or simply out of spite, was the latest in our series on domestic abuse and religion.

Over the past year we have covered Islam, evangelical Christianity (including clergy wives), Catholicism, Sikhism, Hinduism and Judaism in a bid to understand a central, recurring paradox: women suffering domestic abuse in religious communities say their faith has sustained them but their leaders have failed them.

Some clergy are even inadvertently enabling abusers by telling women to endure and forgive, or turning a blind eye to the claims of psychologists that religious verses are used by violent men to subordinate women.

We interviewed hundreds of survivors, social workers, counsellors, clergy, theologians and social workers. The findings of our reporting have been complicated, disturbing and remarkably consistent.

We have found that when male faith leaders refuse to listen to women, domestic abuse flourishes. And that ignorance, and the silence it perpetuates, is dangerous.

And yet one of the dominant responses to these reports has been to simply blame the problem on religion.

One comment on Facebook read: "I would rather change my religion than be chained to a creap [sic]. There. Problem solved. Period. Any religion that keeps women held hostage is not for me."

Added another: "Yet another example of the toxicity of religion".

And just this week, in response to our article about new UK research finding a quarter of churchgoers in Cumbria had experienced domestic abuse, one Facebook commenter said: “1 in 4, my advise [sic] is to leave the church It's doing you no good. For God's sake are you stupid.”

Victim blaming doesn't help

But it's not simply religion. As experts we interviewed have repeatedly pointed out, domestic abuse is found throughout our society and flourishes in cultures where women are excluded.

And this is patriarchy, which, as our reporting has demonstrated, has deep roots in institutional religion.

Dismissing believers of all faiths as brainwashed fools, all women as mere pawns in religious communities and painting all victims of domestic abuse as naive stooges who mutely accept abuse by staying in those communities closely resembles victim blaming.

At the very least it's patronising. And it won't help the women, many of whom find healing, comfort and solace in their churches, mosques, temples or synagogues.

For many women, especially abuse survivors, faith communities can be a refuge and source of strength. ( Reuters: Olivia Harris )

We received similar responses to our reports on abuse in Christian churches. After our piece on Catholicism, one commenter wrote, "Religion, made for men for the benefit of men. This is not surprising sadly. What is surprising is that so many people still adhere to this Bronze Age superstitious nonsense."

Even when we reported a genuine apology from Baptist churches such remarks as the following appeared in social media comment threads:

"Another reason to abolish all religion." "Stay away from organised religion. They are poisonous." "Religion is the root of all evil.

Can you be religious and a feminist?

Our reporting has raised significant issues with sexism and abuse in mainstream religions.

It has been frequently claimed, for example, that women of faith are betraying the sisterhood, or themselves.

As feminist writer Catherine Deveny wrote recently on Facebook, while posting a piece about Islam:

"You cannot be religious and feminist. You can call yourself a religious feminist but you are not. A feminist does not support, stabilise, empower or enable a misogynist structure like religion."

But then should feminists abandon all misogynist structures — law, the science, the academy, governments, the church — or seek to reform them?

What of the women of faith who are doing the slow, under-recognised work of caring for the abused in their own communities or charity groups?

Religion has many benefits for women

No matter your personal views, it is important to recognise having faith, and being part of a close-knit religious community, has many demonstrated benefits for women.

So trolls who react to reports of problems in the church by telling women to exit might want to consider these three points.

First, globally, women are more religious than men; many faith communities are predominantly female.

Second, a recent study found that showing prejudice towards the highly religious only increases the likelihood they in turn will be prejudiced against other groups — a grim circle of intolerance.

The study found Christians feel particularly under threat, and that this may help explain why hostility towards religious minority groups is increasing.

There are many thousands of Australians who are working to address violence in their communities, not walking to an exit. ( Pexels.com: Emily Hopper )

Third, there are many demonstrated benefits of religion. A 2016 meta-analysis of 139 academic studies conducted over the past three decades found regular religious service attendance improved mental health and that, "the more serious, genuinely held and practically-evidenced a religious commitment is, then the greater the positive impact it is likely to have on well-being."

The health benefits appear to be significant. A 2016 study of 74,534 women, for example, found frequent attendance at religious services was associated with a significantly lower risk of all-cause, cardiovascular and cancer mortality.

"Religion and spirituality," the authors concluded, "may be an underappreciated resource that physicians could explore with their patients".

David Williams, Professor of Public Health at Harvard, who co-authored this study, told ABC News:

"There is strong evidence that religion can have many benefits for individuals and communities. Religion can also be a source of harm. Historically and today religion has been used to justify hatred, aggression, and prejudice.

"It can also be harmful to individuals such as through feelings of religious guilt, failure to meet religious expectations or norms that can in turn evoke criticism and exclusion from other community members and clergy. Rather than suggesting women leave religion, we should be encouraging religious institutions to live up to their ideals."

(It should be noted that atheism has a bit of a "woman problem", too; the recent, multiple allegations of sexual misconduct against prominent atheist physicist Lawrence Krauss is a reminder of this.)

A study of Muslim women who had experienced intimate partner violence, published last year by Sydney University academic Dr Nafiseh Ghafournia, found faith communities can be a source of strength for many women, especially abuse survivors.

The majority of abused women interviewed said their faith had been a source of resilience — that praying, for example, helped them cope. Meanwhile the only negative aspect of faith the women reported was the influence of male religious leaders, who told them to forgive, endure and "be patient" with their partner's violence.

'We don't talk enough about religion'

Surely what is needed, then, is a robust, respectful discussion about the influence of religion on women's lives.

When, in 2014, Gloria Steinem was asked what the biggest problem facing women was, she said: "Anti-feminism", and laughed.

She continued: "The work that women do is given no economic value whatsoever. We could go on about that. But we all know that. What we don't talk about enough is religion. I think that spirituality is one thing. But religion is just politics in the sky. I think we really have to talk about it. Because it gains power from silence."

This is precisely what drives countless women who remain in faith communities.

As Maria George, a senior pastoral associate in the Catholic Church (who has since retired) told ABC News, the lack of women in the church hierarchy, for example, can be hugely "demoralising" — so much so that she has questioned why she doesn't just walk away "and let the whole show fall over".

But, Ms George said, "I believe that I have to continue to fight for equality from within, and I am determined to go down fighting."

There are many thousands of Australians who, like Ms George, are working to end violence in their communities — not walking to an exit.

Their message is clear: Their work is more likely to be strengthened by scrutiny than scorn.