I've seen this drawing a couple times now thanks to DA's front page. I've seen a couple things that bother me about it and I would like to adress them because I feel like you've placed your focus in certain parts that shouldn't be your focus at your current level of art. No offense, but I think there are a few things you could improve. Now, your art is your art. This is not because it's MLP-related, it's because I see this and I see that you've put your efforts places that shouldn't be your focus.



I am no expert, but it should be enough proof that a beginner like myself can see these problems. I'm self-taught and I can see that so are you.



I will divide the comment in three sections: The anatomy, expressions and the coloring.



Anatomy



1.- Whenever I see anatomy so poorly done (I will go into details why below), I'm instantly led to believe that the artist is Latin American. As one myself, I've gotten used to see artists focusing more in the coloring, the effects and other things that spice up the drawing while leaving the anatomy second. I notice this because while the hairstyle is colorful and looks good, the rest is... not as good.



2.- Their bodies are overall too thin, anorexic even. The way you mark their bones with lines around the belly, under the ribs, on top and between the clavicle and the neck they show they are too thin. The character on the right I'm led to believe is Sunset Shimmer has a belly so flat you could set your watch to it, and I'm not saying it because of that one line you used in the middle of both of their bellies, but the line you added to make the shape on her belly.



3.- The way their hands are drawn, none of them are holding the objects in a believable way. There is no grip, there is no tightness to them. The way their fingers are holding eachother's bras looks like they aren't holding anything at all. The ways their hands are holding the ice cream is not very convincing either.



4.- Suneset's ice cream looks like jizz. Starligth's? Cotton-candy flavored manjuice. The shape of ice cream is easy to convey and you made it look melty, and off.



5.- I have no idea of how old they are, but their breasts are too round, maybe this is your style so, whatev's.



6.- What isn't part of your style is Starlight's left arm pressed against her breasts and still somehow keeping them round and when they should be a bit flattened. It looks like she's just not applying strength at all.



7.- Speaking of not applying strength at all, their poses are stiff. I'm not saying it because the triangles on their shoulders are paralel to the other, but because they look like they aren't doing any effort in pulling back. When you pull someone and that someone pulls back, they usually lean back to fight against your pulling force. Here it looks like they aren't struggling at all, like they just tore off eachother's bikini without any effort.



8.- Friend pointing me this: They look like they are dancing.



Expressions



9.- I'm having trouble trying to understand what went wrong there. Their expressions are quite good but at the same time look so emotionless. Could be that you used a sideview angle for Sunset's face and a 3/4 angle for Starlight, aka the basic one anyone can do. It doesn't help that their necks and shoulders show so little expression too, play around with them, the shoulders add so much character.



10.- Starlight's expression, I don't know what she is describing. Anguish? Pain? Is she struggling to take Sunset's bikini off? Because I don't see her frowning.



11.- Same goes for Sunset's, although I gotta take off points because you avoided her right eye there.



12.- Overall, sweat next to their cheeks wont do enough to express what you wanted them to convey because they are not sweating from their foreheads, shoulders, bodies, etc



Coloring



13.- I don't know where the light source is coming from. Look at the shading you've put on their bodies and faces. Sunset tells me the light is coming from the left, except on her arms. Starlight is telling me it's coming from the right, except on the arms again for some reason. The background characters tell me it's coming from the left and others tell me they are on the right. Not to mention the palmtree in the background which doesn't enough shading as it should, unless the sun was pointing at them from a side or there were multiple suns around them. I'm going to need help here as I'm not a follower of the deep MLP lore and it's eight suns.



14.- Why are they the only ones that have unnatural skin color?



15.- Big blurry backgrounds for big boys. Honestly I can't say much about that, I've never attempted it myself. I do know that too much blurring ruins an image but, at least it doesn't make you lose focus on the main point of this image.



16.- I'm already having trouble following the light source and I see a white blur effect on the sky trying to convey that the sun is above them?



17.- Speaking of palmtrees, I can see they are a rushed job but, I guess they work.



18.- Not a single one of the pieces of clothing they are wearing have a shadow. The strings on their bikinis, the cloth around Starlight's waist...



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I know you are an artist with over 13 years of experience and you have quite the following with a lot of watchers and views in your profile. But as artists, we never stop improving what we do and we should always try to surpass ourselves with every piece. Not just by simply learning new coloring styles or adding more effects, but by understanding where our mistakes lie in anatomy, trying out new things and asking for advice on how to improve a piece.



Compared to your most recent work, I do see some improvement, but I still see the same mistakes in things such as:



-How stiff the poses are because of how you draw shoulders at the same height of the other.

-How you don't try new angles to draw faces

-How you don't try to expand out of the usual expressions



On an unrelated note: I've seen comments pointing this out and they are right. Please flag this as Mature, kids are watching.