Do you find yourself competing with Facebook for your true love’s attention? Do you struggle to hold their gaze for more than a few moments before it snaps back to the nearest screen? Are you developing an inferiority complex because your partner acts like their phone is more interesting than you? Bad news, sister: it almost certainly is!

Time to give your bland human face some UX pop with this Unread Notification Headband:

The urgent red circle grabs their eyeballs like a tractor beam. The bright white number drives their lizard brain wild with anticipation: “What 6 new thoughts await my attention?” they wonder, ravenous for new information from your visually irresistible head. Mission accomplished!

Warning: Partner may attempt to click your face.