Okay, so scheduling didn't work out with the queen I had been planning to interview about this week's ALL STARS, so I was going to host this gig alone. How hard could that be, right? But then this weird woman in green showed up, insisting I needed help, spewing salad based puns at me in a nearly indecipherable lisp.

Chad: So, I guess I'm being joined today by Tasha Salad? Um, welcome? Do you actually exist, or are you just a fictional character created by Roxxxy Andrews?

Tasha: Resht Ashurred Chad, Tasha's here to shave the day, jusht like I helped Roxxxy in her time of need.

Chad: Oh great, because that worked out well. So do you always magically appear when the desperate and humorless need hosting help?

Tasha: That'sh right, and I often appear before dinner as a light asshortment of greensh and veggiesh and dresshing.

Chad: Right... because... salad. Cool. So, uh, Tasha... this week it felt like we spent a decade or so discussing who was under the bus, who had thrown someone under the bus, who was driving the bus, and where that bus was going.

Tasha: They chopped up that shalad 'til it was cabbage shoup!