Link stood at the top of the hill, scanning his surroundings for his next destination. Looking through his Sheikah Slate, he spotted the familiar orange/yellow glow of an unactivated Shrine off in the distance. Link smirked, pulling out his trusty glider and making a jump in the Shrine’s direction.

Upon landing (and fighting off those stupid skeleton guys who kept popping up everywhere), Link took out his Slate and activated the Shrine. The structure was in the middle of a large field of grain, although there were no farmers to be seen. Link shrugged, figuring that it didn’t matter. He stepped onto the blue pad inside the Shrine, which lowered him underground as usual.

However, as the pad continued downwards, something felt...off. The walls of the shaft suddenly became more...metallic? Link didn’t know how to describe it. Instead of the mystical feel of the other Shrines, this one felt strangely cold, devoid of the usual talk of the Goddess Hylia and trials of strength. Link’s suspicions were confirmed when the pad finally reached its destination; a large, cylindrical room with a dark grey, metal floor, surrounded by bright, glowing screens advertising...something. Link didn’t know what ‘turrets’ were, but from what he could gather they didn’t seem like good news.

“Hello,” a strange, female voice spoke. “And welcome to the Aperture Science Computer-Aided Enrichment Center.”

“What the…” Link muttered, reaching for his sword.

“Finally, another human test subject. It’s been quite a while since my last one got out, and my robots are starting to wear out after several millennia.”

Link didn’t know what the voice was talking about, but he didn’t like the sound of this one bit. He made a break back towards the pad, hoping to escape. This Shrine definitely wasn’t worth the Spirit Orb at the end. Before he could step back onto the pad, however, it crumbled away as a long tube of metal and glass ascended from below it.

“Now, whoever you are, please make your way up the stairs so your specimen may be processed, and that testing can begin.”

Link wouldn’t take that for an answer, and quickly smashed his sword against the tube in a desperate attempt to break the glass and escape. Instead, his sword shattered against the alloy; it was his strongest weapon, too! Admittedly it had been badly damaged by killing some birds, but it should have lasted longer than that! The hero shuddered as he turned towards the darkened stairwell, marching up to a circular door with the image of a blue figure on it. The door opened up, revealing a large room, covered in dark grey panels. A vat of toxic goop stood between him and the next door, with assorted white panels dotting the walls.

“Oh,” the voice said again, “This isn’t the specimen processing room. My mistake. I suppose you can make it through this test alright, even without a Portaling Device.”

Link folded his arms in frustration, scanning the room for a means of escape. Casually selecting his ice rune and aiming it at the toxic goop, Link made a column of ice rose up from the goop, happily hopping onto it and forming another one in front of him, and another until he reached the ledge on the other side.

“It has come to my attention that the sack on your back contains several more weapons, which are a violation of testing protocols. Anyway, why don’t you just step through the Emancipation Grill and into the Chamberlock? The test of your dreams is only a blah blah blah...”

The voice cut out there, leaving Link annoyed. Who was this woman? And where in the name of Hylia was he? He sighed and moved through the doorway, approaching a blue field of energy that he figured was the “Emancipation Grill” the voice talked about. Stepping through the field, he felt a sudden surge of energy around him, his pack, sword, shield, bow and arrows disintegrating right off his back.

“Oh, by the way, the Emancipation Grill destroys any and all unauthorized materials brought into the Enrichment Center. I should have mentioned that before all of your worldly possessions were eradicated, but it’s not like you’ll need them anyway.”

Link grunted, marching through the Chamberlock and approaching the elevator, a metal cylinder that descended down a suction tube. The young Hylian paused, giving the car a look-over. Reaching for his Slate (which thankfully did not get vaporized), he selected his Magnesis rune and aimed it at the elevator car. Link smirked, magnetizing the elevator and moving it to his will. The young man happily stepped aboard, pulling the elevator up the shaft with his Slate.

“I’ll be honest,” the voice said again, “You’re the first test subject to try that. So credit where credit is due.” Link rolled his eyes, ignoring the strange woman. He didn’t have to listen to her. By this time tomorrow, this Shrine would be nothing but a point on his map he could teleport to. “But if you think you’re going to escape using primitive electromagnetism, you have another thing coming.”

The elevator ground to a halt, forces now actively combatting Link’s magnesis. As the lights began to flicker, Link finally relented, letting the voice take him wherever she was taking him.

“You know, it’s been so long since I had anyone to talk to. ATLAS and P-BODY aren’t exactly conversationalists. Not that she was ever one, but I knew she could understand, at least. You’re a little skinnier than she was, of course, but I can work with that.”

Link wondered for a moment who the voice was talking about, but he shook his head and focused on what lied ahead. What lay ahead was another Test Chamber, which Link sighed in resignation to. This test was a little more advanced; instead of a vat of toxic goo standing between him and the exit door, said door was positioned high above him, with nary a rising platform in sight. There was a pink cube that had fallen from a cylindrical repository, which Link idly picked up.

“You know, after a good while of making fat jokes and insulting an adoptee, I’ve decided to branch out! Did you know that you are exactly thin enough to be considered underweight for your height? I didn’t, and now I am disgusted to be associated with you.”

Link grimaced, trying not to let the woman’s words affect him. It wasn’t his fault he lost so much weight in a hundred years! He was asleep! And it wasn’t as though apples and mushrooms had much protein, anyhow. Frustrated, he sighed and laid down on the floor, hugging the pink cube.

“Oh, a hunger strike? How original. 79.34% of test subjects try that, you know. I’ll just add nutrient-rich vapor to your air supply. That’ll keep you nice and alive as long as I want.”

Link pouted, crossing his arms in refusal. He suddenly paused, noticing a window up near the ceiling. Summoning a bomb from his runes, he hurled the explosive towards the window, shattering it in a burst of blue energy. He then stopped time, kicking his pink cube repeatedly and grabbing it just before it was flung through the glass.

“If I had a nickel for every time escaped from a testing chamber, I’d have three nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s odd that it’s only happened three times. Twice with the same test subject, too. Anyway, blah blah blah, how could you, blah blah blah, heart broken, blah blah blah, neurotoxin deployed.”

Link gasped awake and shot up onto his feet, already smelling the stench of poison wafting through the shattered window. The room he was in looked to be a sterile, office-like environment, with a metal desk covered in papers on one side and a door blocked by a cabinet and several chairs on the other. Seeing as that was his only way out, Link bolted towards the barricaded door, summoning all his stamina and pushing aside the obstacles. Link coughed upon inhaling the semi-toxic air and desperately yanking the door handle. It was locked. He placed a bomb at the foot of the door, activating it without thinking; he was too close, and was flung back towards the broken window. The young Hylian caught himself before he fell over the edge, woozy from depleted health. His eyes shot open, spotting the blown-out doorway. Link bolted towards it, his breathing ragged and legs stumbling. Leaping through the threshold with his last ounce of stamina, he sucked in a whiff of clean air (or at least, significantly less toxic air) and bolted down the concrete hallway towards another door, which was thankfully unlocked.

Inside, he found himself in some sort of pipe alley, dimly lit by a single red light behind a metal grate high above him. Letting out a sigh, Link collapsed onto the floor, absently reaching for a drumstick in his pack, before realizing that all of his food had been vaporized by that “Emaciation Grid” or whatever it was. Link then reached for his Sheikah Slate, bringing up the map, so he could maybe perform a teleport. To his dismay, there was no signal, his map reduced to static. He groaned, keeling over in pain. This was not how he thought this would go. What was this place? Who was the woman who kept insulting him? Link wanted answers, but at this point he didn’t think he was going to get them. Until, that is, he heard something rattling around the corner; Link turned his head and saw old milk bottles and deteriorated food containers. He wasn’t alone.

Lacking any weapons besides his runes, and too injured to risk using another bomb, Link grabbed the glass bottle and broke it against the pipe, hoping to at least get a few stabs in. Turning the corner, Link closed his eyes and blindly poked at the air, shouting “Hi- ya!” Suddenly the ground beneath him gave out, and he fell… through the wall? The Hylian warrior fell flat on his face, lifting his head up in a cold sweat. He then got a good look at his assailant: Tall, dark-haired, female, with orange pants and a white tank-top. Strange white boots with black heels were strapped to her feet. She held a weapon of some sort in her hands, white and black. At the spot where he’d been standing, there was now a blue portal, leading to an orange portal right behind him.

“Uh… Hello?” Link finally spoke. The woman didn’t look happy, but she did lower her weapon, which put Link at ease. “You...you got a name?” he asked, hesitantly. The woman pulled out a slip of paper, scribbling something on it. She held it out to him. It was written in Hylian.

“Chell. You?”

“Link,” he answered in return. “Can you tell me, uh, where I am, who the voice I keep hearing is and how I can get out?” he asked with an awkward smile.

Chell paused, considering his question. Finally, she nodded and extended her hand out to Link, helping him up. Link followed her down the dim corridor, until the pair reached a metal grate in the wall. Chell pried it open, gesturing to indicate that she would go first, with Link following behind. Link figured he didn’t have much of a choice.

After crawling through the air duct, Link exited into a small, isolated concrete room; Chell’s secret hideaway. On one side was a rusty old shelf, filled with jugs of water and a sizable stock of food (which he recognized some as traditional Hylian dishes), right next to a makeshift stove. On another was some sort of bed, white and pod-like, extra clothing ( Hylian clothing, Link noted) at the foot of it. Chell slid open the glass cover of the bed, and began writing on a pad of paper. As she wrote, she gestured towards the shelf. Taking this to mean he could help himself, Link grabbed a seared steak and tore into it, not even caring that it was Well Done. The taste of any food was a treat after what he’d been through. After practically chugging a gallon of water, he looked up and saw that Chell had finished her message. He took it from her, reading it carefully.

“Okay,” the writing began, “Here’s everything I know. 100,000 years ago, this planet was attacked by...someone. I forget if I ever found out who or why, but it happened. At the time, I was here, in suspension. GLaDOS, the voice you heard — she’s like those Guardian things you guys have, but more person-like. I think she used to be a person, actually. Anyway, I defeated her once way back when, then got dragged back in and put back under. It sucked. Woke up 50,000 years later, and the long and short of it is that GLaDOS woke back up and I got her to let me go. When I got out, the world was a hellhole. Everything was destroyed, humanity was scattered. This was the only safe place I knew, so I came crawling back; but not as a test subject. I snuck in through an old exhaust duct and cobbled together this little haven. I put myself under for longer and longer, going back up to see if the world had changed. It did, slowly, eventually becoming what you know as Hyrule. I spent more time on the surface those days… Until Calamity Ganon happened 100 years ago. I returned here and put myself under for a while, waking up only a couple weeks ago. A few hours ago I went up to get more food when I saw that the Shrine — where Aperture used to be — was activated. And then I found you.”

Link put down the pad, taking in the information. It was...a lot, but even with his lost memories it did fit the facts as he knew them. He looked up at Chell, unsure of what to say. Finally, he asked, “So can you show me the way out?”

Chell smiled and nodded, pointing up towards the ceiling. A circular metal duct ran up into it, although he wasn’t sure how he was supposed to even reach it. Sensing his confusion, Chell picked up her Portal Gun and fired it at the floor below the duct, creating a blue portal. She then fired at a patch of blank wall, creating an orange portal. Finally, she grabbed a bucket of orange goop from behind the shelf, spreading it in a line in front of the portal. Chell gestured towards it, making her fingers into two legs running. Link realized what he had to do.

He stood at the far end away from the portal, taking a few deep breaths before bolting through it, propelling himself faster than he ever thought he could go. Shooting out of the blue portal, Link was thrown by the momentum up into the duct, getting higher and higher until he realized that he could see daylight. A few moments later he could see the clear blue sky. And a few moments after that, the Hylian found himself flying up into the air, falling flat on his back into the grass. He was free.

Chell came flying out of the hole a few seconds later, now dressed in Hylian clothing. She handed him a slip of paper. “Town’s not too far from here; just down that road. You’ll be able to make it alright?”

“Yeah, I think I can make it,” he replied. “You heading back down to ‘Aperture’ or whatever?”

Chell nodded, writing out another slip of paper. It read, “Yeah, but I’ll be back. Gets boring down there.”

“I do have to be saving Hyrule from Ganon sometime soon, but I’d love to come and visit when I get the chance? Maybe fight some monsters together?” Chell smiled, reaching into her own pack. She pulled out a Boko Club and a roasted apple, handing it to him. Link chuckled. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

Fastening the club to his back and shoving the apple in his pocket, Link waved goodbye as Chell climbed back into the duct, reaching for a nearby stone block and covering the hole with it. She gave one last thumbs-up before covering the hole completely, presumably hopping down the duct and back down to her lair. Link thoughtfully looked at the block for a few seconds afterwards, before turning his attention to the horizon. He could see the Shrine and its wheat field to the north, with a small village off to the west. Looking up at the sky, he noted that the sun was still up.

The day was still young, and Link had monsters to fight.