British TV celebrity Gok Wan is in trouble. He has recently starred in a Target television commercial here in Australia, in which he referred to breasts as "bangers". Gok tells women that if they wear a correctly sized bra, "your bangers will never feel more loved."

That was enough for the knuckle dragging, chinless, mouth-breathing, offensoratti to have an offence-gasm. Viewers complained to the Advertising Standards Bureau to report to use of the word, finding it "distasteful". For good homophobic measure, many complained about Gok being a gay man "daring to talk about women".

I’ve never met Gok Wan. I have no affiliation with him, or the company he promotes. But I do have a cracking set of bangers, and I demand you leave Gok alone. Okay? Hear me? Got it? Good. If you have any problems with him, you deal with me. And I’m scary. I’m a mum. With a mum voice. Who has been known to shop at Target to purchase harnesses for her bangers.

I’m on Team Gok and I’m going in swinging for him. Because any British-Chinese gay man who gets up people’s noses for calling breasts "bangers" is my kind of guy – especially when the complaints received were so dimwitted. Don't take my word for it – here’s what some of the complainants had to say.

Moron number one

"Who on earth calls their breasts 'bangers' and why do we have to watch an obvious gay man talking about women in this way? It is insulting."

1. Gok does. 2. You don’t, change channels or better still rack off 3. It’s insulting? To who? Where is your proof and on what grounds and who cares?

Moron number two

“A female body is a beautiful thing, not to be cheapened by a poofter calling breasts bangers.”

So it’s not okay for Gok to refer to breasts using a word you have never heard before, but perfectly okay for you to call him a "poofter"? Who died to make you king of the bigots?

Moron number three

"It's an offence to any decent person to watch some queer guy advertising and blaspheming and using insulting descriptive words re a woman's body and to be prancing around half dressed guys."

My brain just exploded. Three strikes and you’re out.

So gay men don’t have the same rights as anyone else to be affectionate, light hearted and irreverent because straight women and men own bangers – I mean breasts. But if it were the pigs in suits from The Footy Show, the explanation would be "boys will be boys". But Gok, of course, is not "one of us", is he?

Then there were those getting offended by the word "bangers" because it means sausages. Clearly they are not on a first name basis with the concept of homophones. Or I submit, reality.

These toothless tigers and keyboard warriors perched on their laptops are always waiting to pounce, because finding fault makes these self-appointed "naughty monitors" feel important. But bangers is not a derogatory term for breasts. It’s a made up word for breasts. So the offensoratti are now jonesing for a hit so badly they are getting all high pitched and caps lock about a made up word.

Gok also described breasts as "assets”. Which they are. How could anyone dispute the description of breasts as assets? A quick glance of any form of advertising illustrates their value – bangers are used to sell everything.

So some people don’t like Gok’s ad? Big deal. There’s a bunch more people who don’t care or better still love the ad, think it’s hilarious and have popped into Target and loaded up their trolleys with banger holders not because of the commercial, but because those who complained about it have drawn their attention to it.

Just because you’re offended doesn’t mean you’re right. Offence is just a mode of social control. It is taken not given, and more harm is created by taking offence than giving it. This whole kerfuffle reminds us all that the democratisation of information has a few drawbacks. Personally, I’m in favour of people needing licenses to own keyboards, and certification of intelligence to get licenses.

Breasts are funny – I know, I have them. They make my frocks look better and they were excellent at feeding my three sons. And Gok, you can call them whatever you like.