The AMA – Ask Me Anything – on Reddit has become a rite of passage for the famous. Barack Obama submitted himself to the interrogation while campaigning for the 2012 presidential election. Bill Gates, Morgan Freeman, Psy, Arnold Schwarzenegger and Roger Federer have all taken part. Monday was Madonna's turn, in which it was revealed that there will never be a sequel to her book, Sex, and her favourite method of procrastination is plucking her eyebrows. Here are 10 other things we learned:

1. Madonna dreams

Perhaps it shouldn't be surprising but you might think that if you were the object of so many people's dreams, you wouldn't need to dream yourself. But Madonna dreams, and not only that, she dreams about Brad Pitt. And it's quite a conventional sex-leading-to-children dream, not a sex-for-sex's sake dream, nor even a dream about sex so wild it is unimaginable except to people of her proven sexual enterprise: "Brad Pitt and I were living together and there was a small blonde child in the bed. Sorry Angelina, it was only a dream." The really surprising thing is that you haven't bumped into her in (or having) the same dream. If you have a thing for Madonna and a thing for Brad Pitt, this could be fruitful territory.

2. She is obsessed with vacuuming

Who is typing your answers for you, Madonna? "My housekeeper," she says. "I'm vaccuming [sic]." This will only feed the vacuuming-fixation theorists: see Madonna's Instagram post with vacuum cleaner here or this video from 2008. The woman is obsessed.

3. She doesn't do lols

There is not a single lol or smiley or abbreviation in the whole transcript. Just traditional words. And when she wants to laugh, for example when someone tells her that "as a straight man, I think I've had the same [Brad Pitt] dream", she says: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHA." (She's not so good with punctuation, though.)

4. She has a bong in the shape of a penis

It was a birthday present, and is one of a few clues to her interior decor; the others being that she keeps fish and cockroaches ("Why u do not [sic] have any pet at home?"). And, no doubt, it is all exquisitely vacuumed.

5. She is waiting for your call

Please note, this only applies if you are Frank Ocean (the gay guy she would most like to turn straight – though, happily for all, he is bisexual), Daft Punk (she wants to work with you and you need to return her call) or Snoop Lion, who posted "when r we goin on a canoe ride??", to which she replied: "When you send me a canoe." Of the three, this last one seems the least likely to happen.

Daft Punk … they should call. Photograph: Murdo MacLeod

6. It's surprisingly easy to make her happy

Make her a dirty martini, or get her a slice of good lemon tart or "the rose lycee macaroon cake from La Duree". Interestingly, given that Madonna doesn't include capital letters where convention says they should go, it's surprising that she uses them for her favourite cake shop. Perhaps it is a mark of respect. Endearingly, she has got them in the wrong place, which can happen with French. It is all one word: Ladurée.

7. It really is all about her

Just over halfway through, a reader called iamjanthony posts a moving question: "Ray of Light album helped me come into my own in small town Nebraska, and know that there was love and acceptance in my future. So many of us have had similar experiences through your music. I can't imagine what that must feel like for you. How often do you think about who your art is reaching?" The post is heartfelt and flattering, but the answer that comes back is a rebuttal unhindered by punctuation: "only when i hear comments like this from people do i think about it the rest of the time i only think of how i would like to express myself i think about expression not results". Brilliant.

8. She has a weirdly recurring phrase

One that, admittedly, may not be a weirdly recurring phrase in her day-to-day life: "Send photo." She uses it six times in the course of the chat – so she can decide which woman to kiss, what tattoo to get, who to go on a date with and even just in response to a plea for an acknowledgment.

9. There are some things she won't answer

Three questions drew only silence. Madonna was happy to answer things such as: "Will you be my boo?" ("yes i'll be your boo") and "Where should I put these hydrangeas?" ("up your ass") but not "Can you name one straight guy you wish you could turn gay?". Nor, "Madonna, if you could not be 'Madonna' for one day, what would you do that day?" And definitely not, "What do you really think of Lady Gaga?"

10. If you would like to meet her in person, it would be a good idea to move to – or at least take a holiday on – the island of Lamu, Kenya

The tiny island is a place that Madonna says she would like to travel to. It has the additional benefit of being without roads and cars, therefore affording no easy escape for celebrities seeking to avoid encounters with ordinary people. (Madonna also says she would like to travel to Egypt, but there are more people there, and you are less likely to bump into her.)