The Cost of Being Gay A look at the financial realities of same-sex partnerships.

Filling out the federal form for student financial aid is an arduous task for most applicants. But if you have two mothers or two fathers, or if you happen to be married to a same-sex partner, it can quickly escalate into an even more complicated exercise.

Since the federal government doesn’t recognize same-sex marriage, neither does the federal form, called the Free Application for Federal Student Aid, informally known as the Fafsa. So students whose immediate families include same-sex partners often find themselves struggling to figure out how to accurately represent their families. The 106-question form only asks applicants to list their “mother/stepmother” and “father/stepfather.”

For now, there are no easy fixes. It’s not as simple as adding in gender-neutral language on the form, something the Department of State recently did to passport applications to acknowledge that some children are being raised by same-sex parents. That’s because the amount and type of aid provided to students uses a formula that takes the entire family unit into account — including the parents and students’ marital status. And the Department of Education said it relies on the federal definition of marriage (one man, one woman).

For now, applicants must fill out the form according to the current rules, which can result in applicants getting more or less aid than identical families with opposite-sex partners.

Here are some guidelines for students with same-sex parents or same-sex partners, as well as gay students who have been cut off financially by their parents. The tips were provided by Mark Kantrowitz, the financial aid expert and publisher of FinAid.org. As he said, “It gets real complicated real fast.”

You have two legal parents (biological or adopted) but they are no longer together. Only the one you are living with is responsible for completing the Fafsa. And if the parent you live with has married someone of the same sex, the income and assets of the stepparent are not reported on the form since the marriage is not recognized by the federal government. But the stepparent is included for the purposes of “household size” if the legal parent also provides more than half of the support for the stepparent. The same applies to the stepparent’s children. (In a heterosexual marriage, the stepparent and stepchildren living in the home are automatically included in the household size.) And any financial support that your stepparent provides will be counted as untaxed income on the Fafsa.

Keep in mind that if the student is attending a college in a state that recognizes same-sex marriage, it is possible that the college will also treat the stepparent as a parent for state aid and institutional aid purposes, Mr. Kantrowitz said, even if the federal aid is based only on the other parent.

You have two parents, but only one is a legal parent. Only the legal parent is responsible for completing the Fafsa. The other parent (and his or her children) will be included in household size only if the legal parent provides more than half of their support. And once again, if the other parent provides you with any additional financial support, it will be counted as untaxed income to you on the form.

This will affect families who live in states that don’t permit same-sex couples to have second-parent adoptions. That occurs when one partner adopts the other’s biological or adopted children.

You have two legal parents — whether biological or adoptive — and you live with both. You must fill out the form as if they were divorced. In a heterosexual divorce, the parent with whom the child lives for most of the time is responsible for completing the form. But if the student splits time equally with both parents, only the parent who provided more support is responsible.

Since students with married same-sex parents typically live with both parents, they, too, must have the parent who provided more financial support complete the form. The other parent’s income and assets are not reported, and that parent will only be included in the official household size if the parent filling out the form provides more than half of the applicant’s support. And if the “second” parent has any children who are not legal children of the parent on the Fafsa, the children won’t be included in household size unless the Fafsa parent provides more than half of their support, too. (This is unlike heterosexual married couples, who would automatically include all dependent children and stepchildren, regardless of whether they live in the family home.)

Meanwhile, if the “second” parent — that is, the one not on the Fafsa — provides support to the prospective student, it should be reported as untaxed income to the student.

Both parents may be considered in certain situations. If, for instance, you are attending college in a state where same-sex marriage is legal, the college may include your second parent for state aid and institutional aid purposes, even though federal aid is based just on the one parent.

You are a student who is married to a same-sex partner. You’re treated as if you are simply living together, so you wouldn’t include your spouse on the form unless you contribute more than half of his or her support. If you do, the partner would be included for the purposes of household size (but you don’t have to report your partner’s income). The same rules apply for your spouse’s children. (Of course, opposite-sex married applicants include their spouse’s income, if they have it, and they are automatically included in household size; the same goes for stepchildren.)

If your partner provides you with any financial support, it would count as untaxed income on the Fafsa.

Keep in mind that gay and lesbian students who are married and under the age of 24 may still be considered dependents of their parents, unlike heterosexual married students under the age of 24. Once again, it’s because their unions are not recognized by the federal government. But if you have children, you will be considered independent — as long as your parents don’t provide more than half of your children’s support. (The same goes for unmarried but partnered heterosexuals.)

You are a gay or lesbian student, and your parents refused to fill out the Fafsa form or provide support. Those circumstances alone are not “sufficient ground” for a college to grant you independent status, Mr. Kantrowitz said. But college financial aid administrators have the authority to deem you independent under certain circumstances, as well as other situations where students become estranged from their families. The college can do what is called a “dependency override,” which means it will treat you as financially independent from your parents. (For purposes of federal aid, students are generally considered dependents until age 24.)

“The student will need to ask the college for a professional judgment review to determine whether they qualify,” Mr. Kantrowitz said, adding that only the college financial aid administrator can approve a dependency override. “The student will need to supply documentation of their circumstances, such as letters from clergy, social workers, guidance counselors or others who are familiar with their situation.”

But just because the college has the authority to grant you independent status doesn’t mean that it necessarily will — or that the process will be easy, as evidenced by the student in my article whose family cut him off after he told them he couldn’t change his sexual orientation. The administrators decide what to do on a case-by-case basis.

Consider a recent graduate from a liberal arts college in Maine. After he told his financial aid office that his mother cut off support when she learned that he was gay, the administrators recommended that he switch to a less expensive college. “There were very few resources at my school to help me,” said the student, who is now in his first year of graduate school and wanted to remain anonymous because he didn’t want to openly criticize the college. “The college couldn’t extend emergency support because anyone could claim they were gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender and had been excluded from family resources.”

The college eventually decided that it would grant the student independent status — but only after a friend suggested that he get in touch with a gay trustee who sat on the college’s board to lobby on his behalf. The financial aid office wasn’t pleased that he sought a higher authority, but his strategy worked. “I am still not sure how that process works or who calls the shots,” he said. The student also received a scholarship from Point Foundation, which provides support to gay, lesbian and transgender students. Without their help, he said he would have graduated with $30,000 in student loan debt instead of $14,000.

Even if your college decides not to grant you independent status, you may still be eligible for some federal loans. The Higher Education Opportunity Act of 2008 added a new provision that allows students whose parents have severed financial support to qualify for unsubsidized Stafford loans without parental information on the Fafsa (though they are not eligible for other types of federal aid, like Pell Grants or federal work-study programs). But eligibility is determined by the college financial aid administrators.

You’re thinking about listing your two moms or two dads, even though the form only provides space for “mother/stepmother” and “father/stepfather.” Just like federal tax forms, there is no way to automatically reject applications that list two mothers or two fathers. “But if the Fafsa is selected for verification, and the financial aid administrator notices that the parents listed on the Fafsa are of the same sex, they have an affirmative obligation to require the students to correct the Fafsa,” Mr. Kantrowitz said.

This could be viewed as an innocent mistake, he added, since the Fafsa instructions do not address such a situation with much clarity.

But if you choose to list them both and know that you aren’t supposed to, and the financial aid officers figure that out, well, don’t expect any favors. “Financial aid administrators tend to not give students the benefit of the doubt on other problems when they notice a deliberate inaccuracy,” he said. “They’ll view the entire Fafsa with a greater degree of suspicion.”

So don’t use the Fafsa as a place to cast a protest vote. And if you have any questions on how to fill out the form properly, ask the financial aid administrators what to do before you file.

Have you faced any challenges when filling out the federal form for aid? Have any helpful hints? Please drop your thoughts in the comment section below.