I’ve written before about my problems with body image in the past (and today). Having body confidence is difficult for almost everyone. We live in a world that bombards us with negative messages from when we are children. Photoshop invades every magazine or Instagram profile. ‘Influencers’ are normalising apps like Facetune, even making videos about how they edit their photos. Even more harmful than comparing ourselves to others is comparing ourselves to the ‘better’ photoshopped version of ourselves. Once you’ve seen the airbrushed, nose pinched, pouty-lipped version of yourself, it can be hard to look back at reality and not feel inferior. Plastic surgeons have even noted the change. Patients no longer come in with a celebrity photo, but a request to look like their Snapchat filtered self. So, here are 10 ways to build your body confidence.

1. Photoshoot

Whenever I feel my lowest, and notice myself slipping into a bad mindset of “God I hate my thighs, and my boobs, and my nose” I do the exact opposite of mope. I put on my cutest outfit (or cutest underwear) and have a full selfie shoot. Rather than let myself head into a downward spiral of self-hatred, this forces me to confront my insecurities face on. Turn your body into the subject of a fun, often ridiculous, photoshoot rather than shunning it.

2.Compliment Yourself, Out Loud

It may sound cliche, but one of my big therapy takeaways was “Don’t speak to yourself in a way you wouldn’t speak to 4-year-old you”. You wouldn’t look a toddler dead in the face and tell them they’re ugly, or fat, or unlikeable, so why say it to yourself? When you say something over and over (even if it’s in your head) it starts to feel true. Use this to your advantage. Compliment yourself, out loud, even if it feels fake. Look yourself straight in the mirror and give yourself the most elaborate, outlandish compliment you can think of. If you’re struggling to find something genuine, go ridiculously over-the-top. It’s better to shout into the mirror “I am the hottest person to have EVER walked this planet!” than “God, I look awful.” At first, your compliments don’t feel true, but with more practice, you can improve and acknowledge your positive features. I love my stretch marks because they show how much I’ve grown. My cellulite is a super efficient way of storing fat, making me a badass survivor in times of food shortage. The bump in my nose is shared by me and my brother, my small boobs mean I can sleep on my front; everything about yourself that you hate can be turned into a positive if you alter your perspective.

3. Surround yourself with positive people

No matter how supportive you make your internal dialogue, it’s hard to make progress if your outside influences aren’t equally as positive. In year 7 I had a couple of ‘friends’ who made me feel awful about myself. Conversations constantly revolved around weight or body shape. The primary goal – above all else – was for boys to think you were attractive. After moving school and surrounding myself with an amazing group of friends, it was so much easier to foster a positive mindset. Rather than give me a shady up-and-down look they’d shower me with compliments about my outfit, or my hair, or my makeup. Speaking about myself negatively was entirely impossible because the second the self-criticism started I’d be cut-off by a friend telling me that I was being ridiculous. It’s also important that you become a supportive person for others. My golden rule is: Don’t tell someone about an ‘imperfection’ unless it can be fixed in 15 seconds. If I’ve got spinach in my teeth or my skirt tucked into my pants, please tell me. If you don’t like my hair or think my dress is too short, why share it? If it can’t be fixed then all you’re doing is making someone feel insecure all day, it’s not ‘being honest’ it’s being mean.

4. Weaponise Social Media

This one is almost an online extension of finding positive people. Don’t follow anyone you wouldn’t get on with in real life. There are many celebrities who will exploit your insecurities to sell you diet pills. I refuse to follow any of the Kardashian Klan on Instagram because there’s not a chance in hell that I’m going to fund them by buying “appetite suppressant lollipops“. I’d much rather support people like Florence Given, Chidera Eggerue (The Slumflower), or Jameela Jamil’s “I Weigh”. Going on Instagram should leave you feeling happy and entertained, not dejected and shamed. I’ve mentioned before that there are so many businesses that profit off of making women feel insecure, and they are increasingly using Instagram to infiltrate your mindset. Social media has a feeling of intimacy, we trust people because it feels like we’re their friends, constantly updated on their personal life. In reality, most of your social media ‘influencers’ are there to make money, not to look after you. Be wary, and really stop and analyse who you’re choosing to follow. The joy of social media is that you’re in total control of what content you’re exposed to. Is it making you feel shit about yourself? Click unfollow.

5. Don’t Keep Clothes That Don’t Fit

It seems like the whole world is now Marie Kondo-ing their homes, yet so many people still keep clothes that don’t fit them. There is no way that clothes you can’t pull over your butt “spark joy” so stop holding onto them. Unless your new body shape is likely to be temporary (don’t throw out all your clothes the second you get pregnant) it’s time to get real and buy clothes that actually fit you and make you feel confident. Having constant reminders of your “goal weight” glaring at you from your wardrobe is counter-productive and bound to make you feel rubbish. If you’re unwilling to part with your clothes, pack them up and put them in the attic out of sight.

6. Get Moving

The key to escaping any bad mindset is often a distraction. It might not be a long-term solution but sometimes the best immediate approach is not to delve into the issue, but put the negativity out of your mind for a while. Do the things that make you happy, and that remind you about all the great stuff your body can do. At the end of the day, your body doesn’t exist to look pretty but to allow you to move around the world doing stuff. Dance to some music, play a sport you like, go on a scenic little stroll. Getting yourself moving is great for your mental health generally, and is a good way to get you out of over-thinking into just being present in the current moment.

7. Ask Others What They Like About You

Almost everyone has those days that are so bad you can’t find a single thing to like about yourself. When all the stress of everything else piles up, it’s easy to throw that negativity onto your appearance, and suddenly feel rubbish. All of a sudden you hate every outfit you own and want to get a drastic haircut. On those days when you can’t summon a single positive thought, make someone else do the heavy lifting for you. If you’ve found your supportive people, they’ll likely be more than happy to be your hypeman for the day. When my lovely mum is getting ready to go out and walks down the stairs pulling at the hem of her dress and fussing over her makeup in the mirror I know its time to pull out “Full Hype Mode”. Tell people the things you like about them. The key is honesty, if you’re being disingenuous people will see right through you and feel even worse. Tell others the things you like about them, and then get them to do the same in return when you need a confidence boost. It often turns out that the things you hate about yourself are the same things others love.

8. Pimp Your Mirror

Mirrors are hotspots of self-hatred. A full-length mirror is either your best friend or your worst enemy, depending on how you’re feeling that day. Make it into an ally but putting a reminder up there to stop being so critical. I found this super cute sticker on Redbubble with one of my favourite quotes printed on it. Every time I start nitpicking my appearance, it pops into my peripheral vision as a subtle prompt to change my thinking. You don’t owe anyone pretty, it’s more than okay to decide that today is a no-makeup day, there’s nothing shameful about your natural state.

9. Ban Scales

The only bigger foe than the mirror: The Scales. My mum banned scales from our house from the time I was about 11 and it was honestly a godsend. She nicknamed them “The Sad Step” (a phrase which I think was borrowed from Joe Wicks) because it only ever leaves you feeling insecure. Rather than obsess over an arbitrary number, I judge my weight by how my clothes are fitting. When things start getting a bit baggy, I know I need to eat more, when they start getting tight I start shifting towards fruit and veg rather than doughnuts and chips. The only time I’ve been weighed in the past few years is pre-op by doctors, rather than it becoming a daily habit to obsess over.

10. Get Professional

If your body image problems just won’t seem to go away, maybe it’s time to get professional help. I’m a firm believer that everyone would benefit from a bit of therapy, it’s never a bad thing to have someone to talk to without fear of judgement.

So those are my 10 top tips to foster positive body image. It’s undoubtedly difficult – especially when you’re experiencing mental illness – but with enough time and effort, you can start to overcome all the negative things you’ve been told about your appearance. Your body works its ass off every day to keep you alive, so stop being so hard on it.

Stretch, call/text someone you love, get some fresh air. Until next time, take care of yourself. x

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