VIRGINIA BEACH, VA—All semblance of harmony lost in the maelstrom of books, electronics, and random keepsakes that lay before him, local man Ron Beck reportedly became grimly aware of what chaos he had wrought 20 minutes into organizing his bedroom shelves Wednesday. “Oh God, what have I done?” said Beck, realizing far too late that he had set himself upon a dark and perilous path through random power cords, scattered binders, and old CDs from which there was no turning back. “I never would have done this had I known my fate would be as Pandora opening her box. But now the old order is in ruins. Nothing remains but the mayhem I have fashioned with my own hands and folly!” At press time, Beck, knowing he had no choice but to forge ahead no matter what awaited him, took a deep breath and solemnly removed an LSAT study guide from the pile.

Advertisement