SHOULD I STAY, OR SHOULD I GO?

On the fateful night of November 18, while overlooking the streams of people attempting to leave the campus of Hong Kong Polytechnic University (PolyU), I was overwhelmed by a strong sense of disgruntlement. I knew some of us would choose to surrender, but never in my imagination would I expect 600 strong to. My mind blanked when I heard that news. We had been fighting all over campus for days, and the police arrested about 100 of us. Yet, three times that number turned themselves in on that single day, adding up to almost 1,000 losses from our side—nothing but dreadful.

While I could not understand their decision, a part of me started questioning my own decision to stay. “Surrender” is never in my dictionary because surrendering means giving in. I would rather die before I go against my principle. But I understand that this decision would be different for each of us, so I will not impose my view on others.

Those of us who stayed did so to protect those who remained on campus. We were the only ones who could keep each other safe. We knew the risks. They might hit us; they might abuse us; they might arrest us. All we asked for was the chance to fight until the very end, so that no matter the outcome, at least we did not succumb to fear; no matter the result, at least we have given our all. At least we can keep our heads up and our dignity intact.