Women face rude comments for choosing not to have children (Picture: Liberty Antonia Sadler for Metro)

When ‘do you have children?’ turns into ‘why don’t you have children?’ a line has been crossed.

Childless women are getting seriously frustrated at what at first can be clumsy questioning but quickly becomes intrusive and invasive.

We spoke to several women who have decided not to have children and they revealed the ‘crap that society throws at them’ and their reasons for not reproducing.

We have changed their names to save them from further abuse.


Stephanie, aged 39, from the West Midlands, tells Metro.co.uk: ‘I think it is an offensive question to ask a woman if they have children and if anyone asks “why not?” then they deserve a slap.



‘What if a woman could not have children, and that one question could reignite all the pain of a traumatic time in their life?

‘People should just wait until the subject naturally comes up, and if it does not then, fine. If parents want to bore other parents about their children then fine, but leave me out of it.

She added: ‘I just do not want to bring a child into a world like this. I will not change my mind about this and I have been proved right because I thought that 20 years ago and things have got a whole lot worse.’

In 2016 Andrea Leadsom gave an interview questioning Theresa May’s ability to empathise because she did not have children, despite her being unable to conceive.

And in showbusiness Jennifer Aniston had to resort to writing an open letter to the world explaining why she wanted people to stop gossiping and sniping about her not having children.

Delilah, aged 41, from Wales said: ‘When you tell people you don’t want kids and they reply “it is such a shame as you would make such a great mum.”

(Picture: Virgin Miri/Metro.co.uk)

‘How wrong they can be, I hate routine, hate having responsibility of others. I have misophonia so can’t stand repetitive noises like kids’ toys and I am​ self employed so can be broke one month, fine next month.

‘I love time alone, love my sleep and depression is rife on both sides of my genetic pool as is suicide. Yes, I absolutely adore children but think it’s safe to say motherhood is not for me.’

She added: ‘I’m OK with that, why others are not is so baffling to me, not everyone us equipped for parenthood. If more people were honest about this and there was less pressure and statements like this, then maybe there would be fewer kids in the care system.

‘If someone tells you they don’t want kids just accept that’s their life choice rather than coming out with stupid none factual statements.

‘For a woman to say they don’t want kids, jeez, it’s like “prepare the stones for the stoning and throw”.



‘Imagine if I had them, had a breakdown and couldn’t cope, did a runner and they ended up in care, then people would say “well you shouldn’t have had them in the first place”.

She added: ‘There is a brilliant group on Facebook called I Regret Having Children. Anyone having grief about not having children should look on there, and it seems to be a massive taboo, one that I know is true because of how many friends of mine are miserable with children.’

April, aged 39, from Weston Super-Mayer, said: ‘When I was in a relationship I would be asked my own family, and my boyfriend’s family on a weekly basis about children.

‘I stopped going to family parties in the end because I would scream if I heard “your clock must be spinning” or “you’re running out of time”.

‘I just did not want children with him, and now I am a single woman, I get treated as if I am on the scrapheap not for having children. I really cannot bare talking to my family anymore because it always comes up, perhaps it will stop when I am 60.’

Jane, aged 35, from Chesterfield, added: ‘I had an abortion when I was young, and I have not had another chance to have children again.

‘I cannot bare hearing about children and I cringe when I get asked if I have children, people bring it up in the weirdest situations, waiting for a bus, sitting in a doctor’s waiting room or on a first date.’


Terry-Ann, 49, from America, is often shocked at what she reads on Facebook and Twitter concerning child-free women.

She shared a comment she saw on her Facebook: ‘I know it’s personal choice but women that don’t want kids are either gay, selfish, scheming on their man, got some childhood trauma they cant get over, or are just nutty. I ain’t saying that a woman is only a mother but that’s her most important job.

‘Not to mention being a mum develops women into their potential. Can you reach potential without it, sure, hell look at Oprah but when she’s old and grey and has no legacy to leave to people who were family, that life will be a sad one.

‘Michelle Obama was a big shot lawyer and kids didn’t stand in her way. I’m sorry any woman that says she don’t want kids is tainted, my automatic crazy chick detector goes off. Same for men, any men that don’t want kids are suspect.’

Terry-Ann said: ‘This is an example of a stark declaration of a prevalent attitude that is shared by many in our community.

‘I am childless by choice and happy with my decision. It has not precluded me from being a part of many children’s lives. It’s sad, that as women, we are still solely valued by some for our reproductive capacity, while single mothers have a hard time getting the support they need both financially and psychologically.


‘To all of us childless by choice or circumstance, keep your head up. You are valuable just as you are.’

Advertisement Advertisement