The survey was released following the Grace Millane trial (Picture: Getty)

New research has revealed that women in the UK are experiencing unwanted sex acts in the bedroom.

The survey, which was commissioned by BBC Radio 5 Live and ComRes, showed that one in three British women under 40 have suffered unwanted choking, slapping, spitting and gagging during consensual sex (38%).

Additionally, 31% of women said they had experienced it but wanted it, and some claimed they had never experienced it or would rather not divulge this information (31%).

Out of the 2,002 participants, 20% of both those who had wanted it and didn’t, said they had been left upset or frightened – with 8% saying they felt pressured into the experience every time.




The findings follow the recent trial of Grace Millane, a 22-year-old backpacker who was murdered in Auckland, New Zealand.

The accused 27-year-old man, who has since been found guilty, claimed that her death was accidental due to strangling during sex (often referred to as a ‘rough sex’ defense).

‘This survey indicates how frequently sexual violence is being experienced by women under 40, with partners they consent to have sex with going on to humiliate or frighten them,’ said Adina Claire, acting co-chief executive at Women’s Aid.

‘Consenting to have sex with someone does not lessen the seriousness of slapping or choking someone.

‘Additionally with 41% of rapes being perpetrated by a current or former partner, we know that sexual violence is frequently part of an abusive relationship.

‘This shows how important it is to educate about consent and respect in relationships, sending out a clear message that all forms of rape and sexual assault are against the law.’

According to a census in 2018 by Women’s Aid, a woman is strangled to death by her partner every two weeks.

Fiona McKenzie, who is the founder of the website We Can’t Consent To This, which logs the number of women across the globe who have been killed or injured with ‘rough sex’ used as an excuse, told The Independent that the acts are ‘shockingly, appallingly common’.

‘My own feeling is that this is an atrocity carried out against women at a population wide level,’ she added.

Since the site first launched in January this year, 59 women have been catalogued on the site, including Grace, as well as women from Cambridgeshire, Birmingham, West Sussex, Hull, Aberdeen and more.

Fiona also said that women have told her they are being ‘shamed’ for not being adventurous enough in bed and that the women’s stories are ‘horribly consistent’

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