Howard took a call from Wendy the Retard who said she wants to be Beetle's best friend. He kept her on the line for a few minutes before wrapping up the quick interview. KC told Howard that Beetle was also there to promote his DVD ''Beetle Uncensored'' which is available at JollyDwarf.com .

KC eventually got Beet to repeat after him the right way but it took a while. He got him to say ''It was September 11th. I was asleep in my bird cage.'' Then Beetle said that KC was nuts and wanted him to get away from him. He didn't understand the bird cage thing and thought KC was crazy.

This guy Robert called in last week with the audio version of Robin's book. He drove down from Boston to deliver the tapes so Howard could play them on the air. Howard said he wanted to get to him earlier in the morning but didn't get the chance. Howard had him come in so he could thank him. He also played a quick clip from the tapes where Robin is talking about masturbating and some other embarrassing stuff. She talks about spending hours under the covers masturbating and some other wacky stuff. Howard said they're going to have fun with those tapes. Artie said it's a week's worth of shows. Howard played more tape than he planned and it was all great. He played tape of her talking about her sexual feelings and how she's felt like ripping open her shirt while driving her car to show other drivers her breasts. Howard played another tape where Robin talks about her ''man trapping outfit'' that she used to wear to pick up guys. Howard stopped the tape and said they'd play it on tomorrow's show. He said he was thinking of playing this stuff on 9/11 instead of doing the special (commercial free/replay of last year) that they planned on doing. Howard thanked Robert for bringing the tapes down and gave him a gift for his help. Gary told him he was getting a watch courtesy of Steven Singer Jewelers. Howard then moved on to Robin's news.

Dominic Barbara called in again and told John that he will lose more than he thinks he will if he ever gets divorced. Apparently the laws in New York are such that John would lose half of what he has no matter what he thinks his wife isn't going to take.

Howard interrupted that discussion to take a call from a guy who says that his wife wanted him to suck on a dildo for her. Howard told the guy that his wife is disturbed and that him doing something like that is gay. He spent a couple of minutes talking to the guy about that while the other guys brought up other gay stuff that women want their men to do.

After that someone said the other night after Artie threw the bachelor party at Scores they heard him say that the next one may be his own. Artie said he's not planning anything at this point but the guys said it looks like he may just fall into that hole and marry this woman Dana that he's dating. Stuttering John said that he probably won't have her sign a pre-nuptial agreement either. Artie said he can see himself married to Dana some day but he doesn't know if or when that would happen. Stuttering John asked him if he can see himself married to her in 2 years. Artie said he has no idea what his life will be like in two years. He said he could be in rehab for all he knows. Howard gave him the usual talk about getting married and divorced. Howard also spoke to John about his wife and what will happen when they divorce. John said that he will take care of his wife by getting her an apartment and the kids will be taken care of. He thinks that he'll be able to keep his house out on Long Island too but the guys told him that won't happen once the lawyers get a hold of them. John said his wife is really cool about all of this at this point but Howard and Gary told him that when a marriage goes wrong, things change. They said that she won't be cool with all of that stuff during the divorce.

Howard then changed subjects and said that he heard that when Artie was trying to get a date with his current girlfriend he practiced asking her out while looking in a mirror. Artie said that he did practiced ''...not looking like a dick.'' He told Howard that he would get dressed in his leather jacket and would look in the mirror to see if he looked okay asking her out. Howard and the guys spent a few minutes goofing on him about that.

Howard took calls from some other people who had horror stories about divorces too. One guy called in and said he's getting married in 10 days. Howard just laughed at him and tried to give him some advice. The guy told Howard that his woman is the one who's making the money though. Howard said that he's got a good deal then. Attorney Dominic Barbara called in and defended marriage and the divorce laws but Howard didn't want to hear it from him because he's a divorce lawyer.

Howard also brought up the people at E! who are putting on a special prime time show on Sunday night featuring Anna Nicole Smith. Howard said they came to him and said that they were going to ''help him out'' by putting his show on in prime time. Howard said he knows better and said that he's helping them out by being on in prime time on their channel. He said he knows that Anna Nicole's ratings have been dropping and they need him to help boost the ratings. He went off on all of these people who are screwing him and asked them to use some lube when they f-him.

Reporter Debbie Schlussel called in and rambled on and on like she does so well. She was backing up what Howard was saying earlier in the morning. She had a lot of other crazy facts about terrorism that she told Howard about.

Howard went through a bunch of other quick stories he read in the news to kill some time. He brought up a bunch of things including one story about a guy who just woke up from a coma after 7 years. Howard said he picked the wrong time to come out of the coma. He'll be subjected to the whole 9/11 thing and stuff like that. He'll also be surprised to learn about what happened with the OJ Simpson case.

Howard read in the news that Canada says they won't support the U.S. if we attack Iraq. Howard said that doesn't really matter because we don't need their support. Howard joked that we'd only need them if we needed someone to ice skate during the war.

After the break Howard announced that comedian Jimmy Kimmel has left his wife of 14 years and he's now with comedian Sarah Silverman. Howard said he kind of knew about this before it was officially announced. Howard wondered if he'd leave his wife for a Sarah Silverman. He said that Jimmy should go back to his wife. Artie said that Sarah is hot for a comedian but was still surprised that Jimmy went that way.

High Pitch Erik called in and brought up an article about Howard he saw in the paper over the weekend. Howard said he usually knows when these guys take a picture of him but this one he had no idea. The picture showed Howard's tattoo so the title of it was ''Howard Stern shows off his tattoo.'' Howard said he was just walking down the street, not showing off his tattoo. Zolar called in and said that Artie thanked them for coming to Scores that night. Zolar said that Artie drank 15 shots that night and that he can really drink. Zolar said the strippers there took advantage of that and took him for every cent they could. Ronnie the Limo Driver came in and said that High Pitch Erik was kissing the bachelor party guy. Erik claims that he just does that stuff as a goof but everyone seems to think that he's gay. Gary asked Erik why he doesn't just go gay. Erik says he's not gay though. Ronnie said that Erik freaked the girls out at Scores because he just stands there staring at them. Erik was denying even kissing the bachelor guy but Ronnie and Artie said that he was all over the guy. Comedian Greg Fitzsimmons was also at Scores so he called in and said that he witnessed Erik kissing the guy and rubbing in his crotch. Greg also said Erik pulled down his pants and showed his ass to the guy. He said it was really gay. Howard spent a couple more minutes talking to Zolar about the night and then had to take another break.

Howard then went on to talk about Sunday night when his buddy Ross Zaipin threw a ''Sex and the City'' party because his girlfriend had a part on the show. She played a topless chick in the show. Howard spent a few minutes telling that story. Stuttering John saw the show and said that Ross' girlfriend's breasts were great. Howard said he'd seen them one other time when she flashed him. Howard said he liked what he saw.

Howard said he showed up around 10:30 or so but Beth ''wasn't in the mood.'' They left shortly after getting there. He said that the strippers were talking to them way too much too. Howard said that they were all talking to Beth and even Beth told him they talk too much. Howard said he left after an hour and then went out and met Hugh Jackman and his wife. Howard said they were nice. He also met John Stamos' mother that night.

Howard got back to fun and said he ran into Artie at Scores on Saturday night. Howard said he took Beth out to dinner and made out with her the whole time. Robin told him he should stay home instead of going out to do that. Howard said he loves doing that and throwing it in people's faces. Howard said they were fooling around and at one point, he made his napkin move with his wiener. He wanted to stick his hand up her dress too but she wouldn't let him do that. Howard said he got a call from John Stamos and Rebecca Romijn-Stamos and they wanted to get together with him as well as Hugh Jackman and his wife. Howard said he had about an hour to kill before dinner so he went to Scores. Artie was throwing a bachelor party for a friend at Scores so a bunch of the wack pack were there too. Artie said he didn't invite those people, they just kind of showed up. Stuttering John came in and said it was ''the worst'' because High Pitch Erik was there annoying everyone. Artie said he actually invited Beetlejuice but that was the only one who was actually invited. Everyone else just showed up.

Howard took a call from a woman who wanted to know what Howard thinks is the reason for the World Trade Center attacks. He had been talking about the terrorists earlier and she wanted to complain about some of the things that he had to say. Howard argued with her for a short time before she hung up on him.

Howard took a break and came back to talk about what he did over the weekend. He had his parents over on Friday night for dinner so he talked about that for a short time. He talked about how hard it was to get the house ready for his family without having a housekeeper to help him out. Howard said his kids didn't want him to hire anyone for the house because they wanted just the family around. But then they wonder why Howard's mother is helping him clean up after dinner. He said the kids have always had a housekeeper so they have no idea what life is like without one. Robin said they're going to be in for a big surprise when they go out on their own. Howard went on to say that he loves spending time with the kids and this whole divorce thing has made a mess out of that. Howard said he and Alison have split holidays with the kids so he won't have them for Thanksgiving.

Howard has a new intern working at the station who claims that she may have been the inspiration for this ''Drunk Girl'' bit they do on SNL. She came in and explained how she met Jimmy one night at a bar, got drunk and showed him her tattoo. A couple of months later she saw this other guy on the show doing the ''Drunk Girl'' bit with Jimmy and he was saying stuff that was sort of like what she'd done at the bar. Jimmy said he hated to ruin a good story but it was the other guy's bit and he didn't have anything to do with it so she wasn't the inspiration for the bit. She then told everyone she wasn't really telling everyone she was the inspiration, she was mortified that it might be her. Gary came in and said that yesterday she was going around telling everyone that she was the inspiration for the bit though.

Howard took a phone call from a guy who claims that Jimmy punched him in the head at some bar or something one night. Jimmy sort of remembered the guy but didn't remember punching him in the back of the head.

Howard moved on and brought up the fact that Jimmy worked with Woody Allen on a movie and wondered if he has a problem with Woody's morals. Jimmy said that when you get a script from Woody you're amazed and have to do the movie.

Howard took a phone call from a guy who said that Jimmy has dated Winona Ryder and it's obvious he doesn't want to talk about it. Howard said it's okay if he doesn't want to talk about it.

Gary came in and brought up a few more women that they've heard he's been with. Kirsten Dunst was one but, once again, Jimmy said ''no'' about her too. Howard said that Jimmy must still be a virgin. Jimmy said he really hasn't dated any famous women. He does date, but they're not famous. Howard said he thinks he's covering up like Norm Macdonald used to do with Elle Mcpherson.

Howard said he heard that comedian Jeffery Ross was up for the Weekend Update part on SNL and Jimmy nudged him out. Jimmy said that's kind of true but he didn't strong arm him out of the part or anything. He claims that Lorne Michaels asked him to do it but he demanded that he have a co-host.

Gary came in and wanted Howard to ask Jimmy about a story Mike Walker from the National Enquirer mentioned during a game. It turns out it was true that Jimmy got pissed off and argued with some woman and kicked her out of his car. Jimmy swore that it was just a joke and he wanted to embarrass her when she was getting out to get some coffee at a Starbucks Coffee shop. He said that the woman was shy and he was just goofing around. Howard thought that was pretty funny and compared it to Jim Florentine making a waiter grind fresh pepper on his meal at a restaurant for 8 minutes at a time.

Howard brought up the women that Jimmy is rumored to have been with. He mentioned Natalie Portman and Winona Ryder but Jimmy said he didn't sleep with either of them. He said he just did a commercial with Natalie for MTV and Winona was just a friend of his. Howard sort of backed off the chick banging thing since Jimmy didn't seem to want to talk about it.

Jimmy told Howard about working on SNL and how the process of coming up with the segments works. He said that the cast are allowed to come up with two skits a week but there are also other writers there to come up with other stuff.

Jimmy told Howard about how he got on Saturday Night Live and how it was his life long dream to do so. He used to do a lot of impressions as a kid and that's what got him on. He told Howard what he did for Lorne Michaels to get the gig. He did his Jerry Seinfeld impression for Howard and it really is amazing. Jimmy said he did that one and Gilbert Gottfried which was pretty amazing too. He also did Adam Sandler for Lorne Michaels and that got Lorne to laugh. Jimmy gave Howard a quick bit of his Adam Sandler and that was just as good as his other impressions. Jimmy said they made him wait two weeks before they told him he had the job on SNL.

Jimmy said he even bought Stuttering John's music CD because he was such a fan. Now he's got his own CD out. Howard asked him about the CD and wondered if people just listen to them one time and then throw them out. Jimmy said it gets better after a couple of times.

Jimmy is a big fan of Howard's so he asked what ever happened to Kenneth Keith Kallenbach. Howard said Kenneth has been calling him lately wondering why he can't get on the show. Jimmy talked about how great Kenneth was on Howard's WWOR show back in the late 80's. They talked about him blowing smoke out of his eyes and then throwing up. Howard also mentioned some of the other wacky stuff that Kenneth did when he was on the show. Jimmy said he loved that guy. Howard eventually broke down and said that he'd have Kenneth on again because he really was great on the show.

Howard heard that Jimmy once went up to Jackie the Joke Man and asked him for some advice on being a comedian. Jackie told him to quit which was pretty bad advice. Jimmy does a great Jackie impression so he did that a little bit. Howard said that Jackie gave bad advice to a lot of people including Eddie Murphy.

Howard moved on to ask Jimmy about how great it is to be the ''hot guy'' on Saturday Nigh Live now. Jimmy didn't talk about that much. He ended up telling Howard how lame all of these other morning DJs are. He did an impression of the DJs he did a show with not too long ago to show just how bad they are. Jimmy then told Howard that he really should leave radio because it's gotten so bad. Jimmy told Howard he thinks he's done all that he can do in radio.

Before Jimmy even came in Howard was getting phone calls from people who wanted him to ask Jimmy about women he's dated including Natalie Portman. It didn't take long for Howard to get into that with Jimmy. He spent a short time talking to Jimmy about computer viruses. He was talking about them during a commercial break so he continued the discussion with Jimmy. Howard read one from someone who sent them a link to a web site that would probably give them a virus. Howard then went on to talk about another news story about a guy who was used as a sex slave. Some people met the guy in a chat room and then allegedly raped and tortured the guy for 8 days. Artie and Jimmy had some fun with their southern accents goofing on these people who allegedly held this guy.

Howard talked about how he used to see the hot models coming out of a modeling agency while he was going through marriage counseling. That didn't help him with the divorce because he was seeing all of the hot chicks he could be banging.

Howard was talking about tonight's E! show with the Intern Beauty Pageant and how hot the interns were. Stuttering John said that he's gotten so bad that he'll jog around this park where students from NYU hang out just so he can see the hot 21 and 22 year olds in their hot outfits.

Howard spent some time talking about how women seem to love Jimmy Fallon. He talked about how he had to put Jimmy down after his girlfriend talked about how cute and funny he was. Howard is a bit insecure about his relationship with his girlfriend. He said that he bad mouths a lot of good looking guys so she won't be so attracted to them.

Chaunce Hayden ( ChaunceHayden.com ) from Steppin' Out Magazine called in and brought up the fact that Jeremy got into a fight with one of the other players after they demanded that he reveal his signing bonus and sing some songs as a hazing. Howard found out that it was Brandon Short he got into the fight with. They spent a short time talking about that before moving on to some phone calls. Howard let a few people talk to Jeremy before he wrapped up the call.

The two of them spent a short time talking about what Jeremy has spent some of his money on so far. He bought a house for himself and one for his mother. He said that his parents are divorced and his mother won't let his father come after him for money.

Howard got to the point of Marty's call. He heard that Howard is having this celebrity boxing fight soon and wants to challenge Gary Coleman to a fight. He said that Gary is taller than him but he'd like to fight him. Howard sounds interested and Gary is going to contact Gary to see if he's up for it.

Howard told Marty he should come in with his girlfriend sometime but he's really busy for the next few months. Marty said that he's working on a bunch of movies including one with Stacey Keach and Dick Van Patten. Howard said that he's in a lot of weird movies that no one will ever see. Marty said he did one with Jet Li where Jet beats the crap out of him.

Gary came in and said that Marty isn't liked by a lot of small people because he dates average sized people. Marty said he dated a dwarf not too long ago and she left him for a black dwarf. Artie had some fun with that and goofed around with that idea for a short time.

Howard brought up Marty's kid and the kid's mother. Marty said they broke up and the woman and his kid live in Baltimore now. Marty said he gets to see the kid once in a while. He said he's got another girlfriend who is 5'4'' tall and 105 pounds.

Howard asked Marty about having sex and what that's like. He found out that Marty's head is right around an average sized woman's neck when he's having sex. Marty also told Howard that doggy style is his favorite position. Howard said he's seen Marty naked before and he's got a ''normal sized'' penis. He said Marty is a good looking guy too.

Howard asked Marty if he was up for the part of ''Mini Me'' in the Austin Powers movies. Marty said he did try out for it the first time around but he's a bit taller than Vern Troyer who got the part.

Marty sounded kind of serious when he called in but he said it was just early for him. He also said that it's the day before September 11th and Howard's talking about the usual stuff. Howard went on to ask Marty what he was doing on September 11th last year. He talked about how he was working on a movie as a double for a 5 year old kid when he found out. Howard also talked to Marty about his son who is just as tall as he is. Howard was calling Marty a ''midget'' so Marty corrected him and said he's not a midget, there's no such thing as a midget. He said he's a dwarf.

After taking another break Howard came back and announced that tonight on E! is the Intern Beauty Pageant that they just held last week. He then said that KC found a classic bit that they did on the show that was lost behind a desk in the office. Howard played the tape and it featured the Marv Albert impersonator sitting in as a farter blasted away in the studio. Howard then plugged tonight's ''Son of the Beach'' shows which are reruns. Tonight they have a double feature of the Johnny Queefer episodes. Howard talked about the next new episode too that features Lee Majors and Barry Livingston (from My Three Sons) who gets analy raped daily on the show.

A phone caller brought up the end of Howard's contract and how there will be nothing to listen to when he's done. Howard said there will be plenty of imitators out there when he leaves in 3 years. He said that he doesn't want to be like Imus, all old and hanging on to a radio career. Howard said people will forget about him when he leaves radio.

A woman called in and complained about Howard giving his political views on the show lately and how no one wants to hear them. Howard recognized her as a woman who called in yesterday. She was an Arab sympathizer and ended up telling Howard he was a ''Jew Lover'' as she hung up yesterday. Today she hung up before Howard had the chance to really go off on her.

Howard moved on and talked about some e-mail he's gotten lately. A bunch of people have wanted to know who performs the version of ''Light My Fire'' that Howard has been singing to over the past few months. Fred told Howard it's a band called Young Holt Unlimited . Howard sang a little more for everyone and then read some more e-mail. Howard went through a bunch of stuff including people who are leaving him money in their wills. Howard said the only person to ever leave him money was his grandfather... and he only left him $5.

News columnist Debbie Schlussel called in but Howard wasn't so sure he wanted to hear her getting all political. Robin said she enjoys hearing Debbie's thoughts as long as Artie does his impression of her. Artie started that right away but laid off after a short time. Howard ended up talking to Debbie about her sex life instead. She wouldn't discuss it for long though, she'd get right back to her unbelievable knowledge of terrorists and stuff like that. Howard got off the phone with her after a short time because he couldn't take it much longer. Howard gave Debbie a few plugs for the many web sites she's writing for. PoliticalUSA.com , NewsAndOpinion.com and DebbieSchlussel.com are a few of her many sites.

After the break the discussions continued. Howard knew he was starting to sound political after making some comments about what we're doing about the terrorists. He said sometimes you have to be serious but then said that they needed to get some poon tang in there. He then took a call from a Jewish woman who rambled on and on about how Howard could become the leader of the Jews or something like that. After talking to her for a short time Howard got off the phone and then talked about how wacky religions are.

Howard continued his discussion about the terrorists and how they'll always hate us no matter what happens. He spent a little while longer talking about everything that has been going on in the news lately and then took a break.

Robin mentioned that David Letterman is making a big deal out of the fact that he'll be broadcasting on September 11th. Howard pointed out that David waited two weeks after the attacks last year to go back on the air. Meanwhile, Howard was broadcasting that day and every day after that. Howard brought up his broadcast from last year and how he was discussing his night out with Pam Anderson when the attacks happened last year. They ended up having the same conversation this morning after Howard brought it up. Howard ended up talking about how it went last year when his buddy Ralph was on the phone with him talking about Pam and then the attacks on the World Trade Center.

Howard also mentioned a couple of things he saw in the news. He saw that the guy who invented the Uzi machine gun just died. He then said that he learned that Jerry Lewis' wife is named San Dee which he seemed to find interesting because of the spelling. Howard spent a short time talking about how Christopher Reeve has experienced walking and can move some of his limbs on his own. He's been in physical therapy for a long time now and he's able to move a little bit.

Remembering September 11th, 2001. 9/11/02. 6-7am

Howard was broadcasting commercial free this morning to commemorate the attacks of September 11th, 2001. Robin wondered what they were going to do all morning with no commercials to do. Howard said that Robin was going to do her news for 4 hours. Howard talked about some of the guests they were going to have on later in the morning too. As he was doing that Fred had sad music playing in the background. When he mentioned Steven Tyler being a guest later on, he said that he listened to a couple of Aerosmith songs while he was banging his girlfriend last night. He said he also had some Black Crowes, Bon Jovi and David Bowie stuff on during that session. He said that he has a jukebox feature on his CD player that allows him to have just his favorite songs play. Howard said he heard bagpipes playing really early this morning. Gary said that they started that at 3am. Howard didn't think that was fair for everyone in the city. Howard said they wanted to have KKK guy Daniel Carver do a special message for today where he wouldn't use the N-word... but that didn't happen. Howard played the bit they put together and Daniel talks about 9/11 and what he was doing that day. He said he was fixing a doctor's roof when the attacks happened. He watched some of the coverage and then went back to work. He then goes on to say that we need to get rid of all of ''these people'' who are destroying our country ''from within'' (according to Daniel). Howard played a clip of a song that Dan the Song Parody Man put together featuring Howard's coverage last year put over a Metallica song. Dan called in so Howard spent a short time talking to him. He got in a couple of plugs for both the SternFanNetwork.com and KOAM.com sites where there are links to his site where you can download the song. Here's the direct link http://onlinerock.com/musicians/songparodyman/index1.shtml A guy who was in Tower 2 on September 11th called in to talk about what happened to him. He told Howard that he was working for a big company in the tower when he saw the flames and smoke from the first hit. He said he got out of the building even though they were told they were okay to stay there. He managed to get out of the building with some other people. Howard asked this guy Kevin if he saw people leaping out of tower 1 when he got out. He talked to Howard for a while about what has gone on since then and how he's left the state. Howard took a call from Joseph Whiteman, the owner of a Mailboxes Etc. franchise that was near the World Trade Center when it collapsed. He said that he lost it all after the collapse but his insurance coverage helped pay for the losses. He talked about how he managed to get through that mess. He said his business is still suffering from that day but he's managed to keep all of his employees. Howard wanted to help the guy out so he let him give a plug for his business that's at 295 Greenwich St. in Manhattan. Howard encouraged anyone who needs a private mailbox in that area to go down there and help the guy out. Howard got a stripper by the name of Dawn on the phone. She was working at Scores the night before the attacks. She was asleep the morning of the attacks when she got a phone call from someone who wanted to tell her about what happened. Howard interrupted her story to ask her about what she looks like. She's only 4'11'' tall and Vietnamese. Howard was getting sidetracked thinking about her. He ended up talking to her about her lesbian experiences. She said she realized she might be a lesbian when she was only 11 years old. Howard also asked her about what she was wearing. She was wearing a ''wife beater'' t-shirt and no bra. Howard got back to her 9/11 story after that. Dawn said that her door man called her to tell her a friend was there. She was naked when her friend showed up. Her friend told her to put some clothes on so they could go up to the roof. When they got up there they saw the first tower go down. She said they were screaming and crying when they saw that happen. She also said that some guy had his arm around her because she was crying. She doesn't even know who the guy was. After that Dawn said she was too terrified to leave her apartment. She said she didn't leave the house for a week. All she did was drink which led to her losing weight. She said she wanted to kill herself because she was so distraught over the whole thing. She's gotten over it lately and is back to her normal self. Howard said he would love to comfort her if she's ever distraught over something like that. Howard moved on to Jeff ''The Drunk'' Curro who called in to talk about what happened to him one year ago. He claims that he wet his bed when he heard about the first plane crash. Gary came in and interrupted the conversation. He said that Jeff had some wacky stuff happen to him over the weekend. Jeff said he was driving home from getting tickets to a country music concert when a cop pulled him over for not wearing a seat belt. He had a bowl in the car that contained a little weed. The cop ended up arresting him. Howard interrupted Jeff to take a call from Crazy Cabbie who was ''normal Cabbie'' one year ago today. He called in that day and gave his eyewitness report from the streets of New York. Howard replayed the tape from that morning and then spoke to Cabbie about how he feels things have gone. Cabbie said he thinks that the patriotism has waned off since that time last year and he's confused about what how to feel about what we've done so far. Cabbie said that he thought more would have been done about terrorists and thought that we'd deport more people. Howard agreed and said that he thought they'd stop people from coming into the country but they haven't done enough about that. Howard let Cabbie kiss his ass a little before getting off the phone. Cabbie told him how great he thinks he is and how people always tell him how Howard go them through that day last year.

Remembering September 11th, 2001. 9/11/02. 7-8am

Donald Trump was the first caller of the hour. He spoke to Howard about the state of New York City today and how it's come around a bit since last year. Howard also asked Donald about what he was doing last year at this time. Donald talked about what he was doing when he found out and how his view of the city in his office was made to look at the World Trade Center buildings and now they're gone. He said it's unbelievable. Donald also talked about what they're thinking of building in the space previously occupied by the World Trade Center buildings. Donald thought the plans they came up with a few weeks ago were pretty weak. He thinks that they need to have a great memorial there as well as some big buildings to give a lot of people jobs. He said if they don't do that, the terrorists have won. Howard took a call from Congressman Gary Ackerman who called in last year on this day. He and Howard talked about the possibility of invading Iraq as well as some other stuff. Howard told him how great he was on the phone last year and moved on to more stuff. Howard got this guy David Little on the phone. He owns Chambers St. Wine which is located at 160 Chambers St. David said that he had to lay off one person after the attacks but they've stayed open since then. He said they've lost quite a bit of money since then and it's going to be tough over the nest few years while they rebuild. Howard let the guy give a plug for his place. David said you can visit their web site at ChambersStWine.com or give them a call at (212) 227-1434. David also talked to Howard about how President Bush seems to have forgotten that it was Al Quaeda that attacked us, not Iraq, which is what he's concentrating on at this point. Howard said he thinks that Iraq is part of the problem right now but David is right about Al Quaeda being our main problem at this point. David's voice was cracking because he was getting so emotional. Next up was Governor George Pataki who Howard has supported for years. Howard told Governor Pataki how great he's been through this whole thing and how hard he worked. Howard said you don't get public officials like that often. He said it would be ashame to lose the guy in the next election. Governor Pataki gave a short speech about the attacks and the people who were lost. Howard said he's glad he supported Pataki in the last election. Howard said last night he got a call from KC who was trying to make a phony phone call. KC was trying to make it seem like he didn't want to come in to work today. Howard knew it was a phony phone call right away and started laughing at him. KC tried to keep it going but Howard knew. Howard told KC he's such a bad actor that he didn't believe what he was saying. Howard told KC that he should have just said he wasn't coming in because he was sick or something. He would have believed that. KC also called Gary and made the same prank call to him. Gary knew he was full of crap too. He told KC he was taping him and didn't believe it. KC then told Howard that he made a call to Artie. He went in a different direction with the call. He told Artie he wasn't coming in and asked him to pick up Howard's breakfast. Artie wrote down all of this stuff that KC gets for Howard in the morning. He gave him a bunch of directions for what to get and how to go about it. Artie said he went along with it. He told Howard that he didn't want KC to get in trouble so he went with it. Even Artie knew it was a joke. When KC told him to put two pieces of lemon in his pocket he sounded puzzled. Artie knew it was a joke after that. Artie thought he was pretty good at the phony phone call. Howard also had a phony phone call that High Pitch Erik did to a pizza place. He called the place and said that the pizza screwed up his voice and he wants a year worth of pizza free. The woman says she'll have the owner call him but he freaks out and yells at her. He tells her he sounds like a homo and wants free pizza but she can't do anything about it. Howard took a call from a woman by the name of Liz who was about a block away from the WTC when the attacks happened. She said she was in her apartment on the phone with her husband. Her husband was in the building right next to the WTC so she heard everyone scream when the first plane crashed. They saw the bodies falling which is what Howard finds to be one of the most disturbing parts of the attacks. She said she had a view of the WTC herself and saw people jumping from the building. She described in detail what she saw and it was very graphic. Howard let her talk about her morning and how horrible it was. She said her business is located down in that area and wanted to get a plug for it. She said it's called Plus One Fitness and they can build fitness centers. She also gave out their web site MyFitnessExpert.com before Howard moved on. A guy called in and said that he was in one of the buildings and he's tired of hearing people talking about helping other people because he didn't see any of it happening. Howard said that just because he didn't see it happen doesn't mean it didn't. Howard said the guy was just trying to be a tough guy. The guy sounded like he just didn't want to hear about any of this stuff to be reminded about it. Howard said his girlfriend didn't want to watch all of the coverage last night either. They were going to watch the movie ''Spy Kids'' but she didn't want to watch that either so they ended up watching all of the 9/11 coverage anyway. Howard took a call from Pasquale Buzelli who worked on the 64th floor of the North Tower. He was in the elevator when the plane hit. He said they made it to the 22nd floor when the building collapsed. He said he was laying on the floor when the floor collapsed from underneath him and he fell. He said when he fell he was being hit on the head by stuff which made him see stars. He said he was unconscious for 3 hours after that. Gary came in and said the story sounded fake to him but it's been documented in several newspapers. Howard said it's a miracle he survived. Pasquale told Howard how he woke up on the top of a pile of rubble and just waited for someone to come and help him. After hearing his story Howard let Pasquale give a plug for his wife who has written a song and the proceeds will go to the women who were pregnant who lost their husbands in the disaster. You can find out more about that at SongForHope.com Former Mayor Rudolph Giuliani called in to talk about this nightmare. Howard and Rudy talked about remembering the day and how tough it is. Rudy told Howard it was actually a glorious day for the people who saved the people who were saved. He also said that it brought the country together after the attacks and didn't break us like the terrorists wanted to do. Giuliani went on to say that we need to end global terrorism and we need to continue to do what we're doing about Sadam Hussain and the other terrorists around the world. Howard told Rudy that he misses him since he left office. Howard said that he and Governor Pataki working together was great. Howard and Rudy spent a little more time talking about what needs to be done and about what should replace the World Trade Center. Robin said she wants Rudy to run for some public office and said she wants him to run for President. He said that's a long way off and he doesn't know what he's going to do at this point.

Remembering September 11th, 2001. 9/11/02. 8-9am

Billy Joel called in right around 8am. Howard said Billy has always been a New Yorker. Howard thanked Billy for calling in and pointed out that he stays in New York no matter what goes on there. Billy told Howard how he found out about the attacks last year. Billy told Howard he's still trying to figure out why this happened and for what reason. He and Howard spent a short time talking to each other for a little while. Billy also pointed out that he did live in L.A. for three years so he hasn't always been in New York. He said he didn't like it out there though and moved back to New York. Billy told Howard he hasn't written anything new lately. Howard said whenever he sees Billy he's always whistling songs so he's tried to steal some of those tunes from him. Billy said he's been stifled since the attacks but he'll eventually get through it and write some new stuff. After getting off the phone Howard said he and Billy have run into one another out in The Hamptons and they do get along with each other. He said he promised to stick to one topic this morning so that's why they didn't talk to him about that stuff. Howard said he just wanted to remember Robert Miller who died last year. Howard read from a letter that his wife wrote about him. In the letter she said that her husband liked great TV comedies and Howard Stern. Gary said he spoke to the woman last week and he feels really bad for her and her daughters who lost Robert. Howard took a call from David Cohen who owns Chelsea Jeans. David told Howard that his store was closed for a couple of months after September 11th. Since then they've been losing between $10,000 and $15,000 a month. He owns another store that makes money but this store is draining that money. He said he has created a memorial to the day in the front of the store and has left it the way it was last year. He said a lot of people come to look at the memorial but they're not buying jeans. Howard said his store is located at 196 Broadway in Manhattan and encouraged listeners to go down there and help the guy out. Artie announced that he, Jim Florentine and Nick Dipaolo will be performing at a benefit for the children who have suffered from the losses of 9/11. They'll be at The Comic Strip in Manhattan next Wednesday, September 18th. Howard mentioned a guy he knew who died while working at the WTC. He spent a short time talking about him and then Stuttering John came in and mentioned a couple of people he knew who died that day. Howard took a call from Todd Wall who was supposed to be working on the 96th floor of the North Tower. He said that morning he was listening to Howard that morning and stayed home to hear something Howard had planned for that morning. He explained to Howard how he shut off the radio and ran to the subway because he was late for work. He said he missed his train and took the next one. When he got off the train the first plane hit. He said he would have been above the hit so he probably would have died that day. So Howard saved his life in a strange sort of way. Howard thanked him for calling in and moved on to the next call. Gerard from Whitheall Hardware called in to talk about how hard it's been for his business to survive over the past year. He said his store was closed for a month and business has been off by about fifty percent. He said a lot of the maintenance workers from the WTC were customers there. Howard let Gerard get in a plug for his business. He said he's located at 19 Rector St. in Manhattan. You can call the store at (212) 269-2698. Howard said that it's very manly to buy hardware and tools so he's going to go down there with his girlfriend and make it look like he's a man. The guys suggested tools that Howard could ask for like a router, a mitre box or something manly like that. Jon Bon Jovi had just gotten off stage in Japan when he called in to give his thoughts on 9/11. Jon said he was home that day and he and Richie Sambora were supposed to write some songs that day. They saw the first tower on TV get hit so they went to the shore and watched from a distance. He said it was a traumatic time for them. While Jon was still on the phone Robin mentioned that she got a new report that some of our military bases over in Afghanistan were attacked this morning as they were preparing to commemorate the day. Steven Tyler of Aerosmith called in and gave his thoughts on this day also. He said the band was down in Virginia Beach that day and they saw it all unfold on TV. Steven said something has to be done about the terrorists. Howard spent a few minutes talking to Steven about that stuff as well as the story he told earlier about having sex while listening to some Aerosmith songs. Attorney Dominic Barbara called in and spent a few minutes talking to Howard about last year and how this will effect people for years. He pointed out how there are people who will suffer health problems related to the dust in the air down there for years to come. Howard replayed Dan the Song Parody Man's Metallica song before Michael J. Fox called in. Michael eventually called in and spent some time talking about what he was doing last year when he found out. Michael said he was out in L.A. at the time. He ended up driving home to his family in New York in 48 hours after seeing what happened. He also brought up the Concert for New York that he was part of last year and one of the great moments that happened. He said there was a fireman who he spoke to before the concert who wanted to say a few words to the crowd. Michael couldn't say no to him and let him say a few things. During that speech the Fireman said something to Osama bin Laden and how he could kiss his Irish ass. Howard and Michael both said that it was a great moment. Finally, Mariann from Brooklyn called in to mention her sister-in-law who died in the attacks last year. Mariann was on the verge of tears as she told Howard about how much she misses Jodi and how Howard has helped her get through this past year by making her laugh. Artie stayed quiet during this call. He didn't goof on her today.