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Apparently it's "Poop Week" at RunOregon, and Kelly has asked me to write about famous pooping mishaps in the world of running. Yes, I'm blaming her if you lose your breakfast, 'cause this was totally her idea! ;-)

Back when The Edge was still relevant (OK, it was never relevant, but at least it used to be blue and on the front page of the Living section), I used to get more satisfaction out of winning one of their contests than I did winning a local road race. For one such contest I won a brand new copy of the classic children's book "Everybody Poops". Seriously, is there a more profound title than that?

It's absolutely true, everybody poops. Well except for Winnie the Poop, the constipated bear. Yes, I made that up, but if anybody wants to take that character and run with it go right ahead. No, really, everybody poops, even famous athletes like Stan (The Bran) Musial and royalty like Richard The Turd, who held the throne longer than any other English monarch before or since.

OK, seriously, nature calls for everyone, from the most glamorous Hollywood star to the bravest war hero to the fastest runners on the planet. So herewith is a compendium of the most famous running related poop stories, all true except for one I made up. Can you determine which stories are the real poop and which anecdote is total crap?

Uta Pippig, 1996 Boston Marathon: The great German runner won her third consecutive Boston Marathon, overhauling Kenyan Tegla Loroupe in the final strides, and overcoming the extreme discomfort of menstrual cramps and diarrhea to finish in 2:27:13. "I had some problems with my period," reported Pippig. "I didn't expect it would become this worse... diarrhea. I felt not nice so I used a lot of water around me so that I look better and also for my legs that I could clean up a bit."

One of the best-loved Boston champions, Pippig took the indignities and pain in stride, persevered, and maintained her upbeat attitude: "After four miles, I was thinking several times to drop out because it hurt so much. But in the end, I won."

And rather than shrinking with embarrassment, Pippig credited the support from the crowd for her victory: "It was like the whole city was on its legs, and I want to thank every person on the course today."

Tegla Loroupe, 1998 New York City Marathon: Ironically, Pippig's Boston rival from two years prior was forced to endure her own battle with diarrhea as she raced through the five boroughs of New York. Having won in New York in '94 and '95, Loroupe was hoping to ascend the podium once more in '98, but instead struggled valiantly to a third place finish in 2:30:28, far off her recent world record time of 2:20:47.

"At least I finished," said Loroupe, who had considered dropping out at various times during the race. "For that I'm happy."

Rosie Ruiz, 1979 New York City Marathon: Ruiz's story is well known. Perhaps the most famous cheat in sporting history, she was the first female runner across the line at the 1980 Boston Marathon. However, it was soon discovered that she had, to put it politely, "not run the entire distance." Furthermore, additional investigation revealed that she had ridden the subway for a substantial portion of the 1979 New York City Marathon, which had served as her Boston qualifier.

Less well known is how an irritable bowel led her astray, and that she had not entered the New York Marathon with the intention of taking a shortcut via mass transit at all. "As I approached the start that morning, I

really

had to go," recalls Ruiz. "The lines at the port-a-potties were three blocks long, and not only that, but the stench was unbearable! I realized my only hope of finding a clean, vacant, and fresh-smelling toilet was in the New York City subway system."

While luxuriating in the swank subway restroom, Ruiz missed the start, and in a panic hopped a train to within blocks of the finish where she rejoined the field, and the rest is history.

Richard Nerurkar, 1996 Olympic Marathon: The British runner was holding onto 3rd place at the Men's Marathon at the Atlanta Olympics when nature called, and a potty break cost him two spots. Nerurkar's pit stop was remarkably brief, and he went on to a highly respectable 5th place finish.

Nadezhda Ilyina, 1997 Los Angeles Marathon: She was the first woman to cross the line, but the Russian runner's desperate pit stop at a 7-11 restroom resulted in a 30-meter shorting of the course, leading to her subsequent disqualification. She had been on the lookout for a bathroom from the third mile and finally found relief at mile 23, but despite the lost time, the small, apparently inadvertent shortcut cost her the win.

Steve Jones, 1985 London Marathon: Some anecdotal reports suggest the great British runner was suffering from some internal and external distress during his course-record setting effort through the streets of London, resulting in the runner-up's refusal to shake his hand at the finish.

Brendan Foster, 1976 Olympic 10,000 Meters: Not all poop crises occur during marathons (though the vast majority do). At the Montreal Olympics, Foster overcame a "third wind" to capture bronze on the track in the 10k. Apparently, he was afraid his kick might do more than increase his pace, but he held it together well enough to bring home Great Britain's only medal of the 1976 Games.

Finally, the great Norwegian champion Grete Waitz suffered famously from diarrhea at both the London and New York City Marathons, but overcame it to win both races. In her book "Run Your First Marathon", she describes the problem:

So perhaps the moral of these stories is if you find yourself near the lead, keep going... even if you're going; and even if you've got the runs, keep running. Unless, of course, you're

really

pooped!