So after basically knocking down the courier guy for the past few days whenever I saw him screaming.....give me my gift, give give give I finally got it today. He was even nice enough to bring it to my door instead of calling and making me pick up downstairs as is the norm.

So I ripped into the package to find..a lovely red paper cloth shopping bag. Life is now complete, I can shop and not have to pay for grocery bags any longer.

Upon inspecting the bag, I found a Xmas card which instructed me to have friends. Hmmm, I don't want friends to steal my new red bag, so I guess I might have to hide it if they come over as the card mentioned they should be (in)appropriate.

I was so happy basking in the glow of the red bag I almost missed the package under the card. Upon opening it, I saw lots of white and black cards. Hmm these seem pointless and hard to use. I mean they even said they are anti-humanity. Who would want anything like this.

Santa must have some connections with the NSA or something as I was just looking last night on Amazon about ordering a set of Cards against humanity. Never once mentioned to anyone but my wife that I feel this would be a great thing to have for boring moments at home/bar with friends. Thank you Santa for stalking me in only a way a government could. You chose the perfect gift.