IN REAL LIFE, WOODY ALLEN isn't much different from the character he plays in his movies. He has the same reedy Brooklyn accent he uses on-screen and wears the same dorky, black-framed glasses he's worn since he was 17. He's shy, meek, insecure, a little phobic. When he showers, he makes a point of standing away from the drain, and he's not crazy about tunnels. Too much like the womb.

That such a person manages the existential crisis of getting out of bed in the morning, or accomplishes anything at all, let alone becoming...