The Rebound. What can you say? It was short and unsatisfying for everyone involved, and by the time it ended, you were more relieved than anything else. There wasn't even that much attraction there; she just kind of happened to be available and it seemed like a good idea at the time. It's not that anything went particularly wrong, though. At the end, things kind of returned to the status quo, unlike ...

1 The Vietnam War

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The Dirty Hook-Up. Wow, do you regret this one. Like, bone-deep shame-style regret. You wouldn't even admit that it happened at all except for your one asshole friend who absolutely had to tell the entire world. You don't remember how she got into your life. Maybe your friends might have introduced you to her? It might be time to get new friends.

Still, it wasn't so bad at first. She was new and exotic, had a few ideas you'd never tried before and reminded you just enough of The One that you could close your eyes at night and pretend. But then things got out of control. She started calling constantly and at all hours. She spent all your money and ran up a huge credit card bill. You never knew whether she was coming over to have sex or pick a fight. You tried to call it off, you really did, but it never seemed to work. No matter how confident you were the night before, somehow you always woke up the next morning back in bed with her. She wasn't even that hot. After it was finally over, she trashed your car with a baseball bat. It took forever to get rid of her, and you swore that you would learn your lesson. Seriously. The next time will be different.

After all, there are plenty of fish in the sea.