Super Bowl 50 is a couple weeks away, but some football fans are already bemoaning the voice of Phil Simms, who’ll be the CBS analyst for the Big Game. Writer Dan Levy called his commentary “flat, one-note [and] quarterback-centric” while Kirk Minihane dubbed him the “worst announcer ever.”

But what are the alternatives? In Reddit’s NFL community, redditors imagined what the commentary would be like if a few unlikely guests took a seat in the top booth. The transcripts they came up with are hilariously spot on.

Ira Glass

Sarah Koenig

The Swedish Chef