In a display of moral contortion we must begrudgingly admit is rather impressive in its myopia, Fox News—which spent the morning of Paul Manafort’s indictment talking about cartoon cheeseburgers—has managed to put a positive spin on mass murder. And because we are forced to clarify which mass murder we’re talking about in the rejected first draft of a Twilight Zone episode in which we are currently living, we’re referring to the deaths of 26 people, including several children, at the First Baptist Church in Sutherland Springs, Texas on Sunday.


Because the gunman in this particular massacre was a white male, the conservative politicians to which Fox News kowtows (sorry, “about whom Fox News reports fairly and without bias”) are insisting that these deaths not be politicized—at least until they can figure out a way to spin it into a conspiracy theory. But they never said anything about not pointing out how lucky 17-month-old Noah Holcombe was to die at church, instead of at Walmart or the McDonald’s drive-thru or peacefully in her sleep about 80, 85 years from now.

Immediately before an interview with Texas governor Greg Abbott (R., naturally), Fox News’ Ainsley Earhardt took a moment to remind viewers that getting murdered at Jesus’ house is a downright one-stop shop of forgiveness: “We’ve been reporting that this shouldn’t happen in a church, but...” she began. She continued:

I was downstairs talking with some people that work here that we all talk about our faith and we share the same beliefs. We were saying there’s no other place we would want to go other than church. Because I’m there asking for forgiveness. I feel very close to Christ when I’m there. So, I’m trying to look at some positives here and know that those people are with the Lord now and experiencing eternity and no more suffering, no more sadness anymore.


The relative severity of suffering caused by “not being able to buy a semi-automatic weapon whenever you feel like it” vs. “living in fear that you and your children could be randomly murdered in cold blood anywhere at any time” somehow failed to come up in the ensuing debate.

[Raw Story via Boing Boing]