(Several sharp-eyed readers reached out to point out FIFA has, in fact, allowed leagues to cross borders. The column has been amended accordingly. This makes a better case for Liga MX-to-SA. Thanks, guys.)

Sleepy? Hungry? Lonely? Broke?

It could always be worse. You could be the United Soccer League, the Rodney Dangerfield of sports leagues.

Despite the league’s success and growth, adding new teams in new markets every year, no one wants to be in it.

The nation and the world refer to it as “second division,” meaning it’s second banana.

Fans who passionately follow and cheer for their town’s USL team would dump their respective club, like a flopping striker tripping over a blade of grass, if Major League Soccer came calling.

After San Antonio’s unhealthy flirtation with MLS, the league that capitalism forgot, there’s presently local interest in landing a team in Liga MX, the Mexican first division.

Bexar County Judge Nelson Wolff, who seems to be the point man in every sports-related public policy discussion, thinks it would be a winner.

“Getting a Mexican league team here would be better than getting MLS,” Wolff said Thursday, “especially after all of the lies (MLS) has told.”

Wolff hasn’t forgotten how MLS conspired with the Columbus Crew to move that team to Austin while, at the same, making San Antonio jump through hoops for the right to waste $150 million for an MLS expansion slot.

While the Columbus move to Austin isn’t a done deal, it’s getting close. Crew officials have identified a stadium site. Public hearings are underway. Parties in a lawsuit over the move are discussing a settlement.

The Austin betrayal was a collective stab in San Antonio’s back. Fans, players, coaches and team officials acted in good faith and were eyeing a move to MLS, Satan’s real estate fund derivative, in the next few years. San Antonio FC has proven itself to be a contender that can fill Toyota Field. MLS has been exposed as the Grima Wormtongue (Lord of the Rings manipulator) of American sports.

The judge isn’t the first guy to think LigaMX would do well here.

I waxed forcefully two years ago — and three times after that — that putting a LigaMx team in San Antonio would be akin to printing money.

Given the affinity for Mexican soccer among the town’s 62 percent Latino majority, a Mexican soccer team in San Antonio could outdraw most MLS teams. The team’s reach would extend in all directions. It’s not unreasonable to think a team like that would outgrow 8,000-seat Toyota before the first match. A move to the Alamodome might be the only way to hold all of the fans.

Circumstantial evidence supports all of that.

Five recent exhibition matches between Liga MX teams held here drew thousands.

The Mexican National Team, or El Tri, has sold out the Alamodome’s 65,000 seats when it’s played here. Even a CONCACAF Gold Cup match, in which Mexico brought younger, lesser-known players, drew 30,000.

Around town, bars host watch parties for several Mexican teams’ matches. The most popular of those clubs appears to be Monterey-based Tigres UANL.

A Spurs official has privately mentioned LigaMx-to-SA in a pair of background conversations.

Soccer Twitter hammered me for suggesting Liga MX for San Antonio two years ago. After Columbus’ owner began to covet Austin, however, many of them loosened their scarves and embraced the idea.

The main obstacle, say the Spurs official and Liga MX observers, might be FIFA.

While FIFA has allowed some cross-border leagues, the consensus among Spurs officials and Liga MX observers, is that this would be a hard concept to get approved.

Then again, FIFA is corrupt. It’s more dishonest than a pile of MLS officials and slimier than the bottom of Louisiana’s Atchafalaya Swamp.

“It’s a byzantine operation,” Wolff said of FIFA, “that’s had problems for a long time.”

That’s a polite way of saying FIFA is corrupt.

In the last few years, FIFA honchos have been charged with or have been convicted of crimes such as bribery and money laundering. On a regional level in Europe, local prosecutors have charged various soccer figures with match-fixing.

Given that, I’m confident we can bribe FIFA to let Liga MX come to San Antonio.

Speaking with the Spurs official on background last month, I offered to drive a bag of FIFA bribe money to Laredo.

We both laughed nervously.

It was a joke.

Or was it?

Roy Bragg is a San Antonio Express-News sports columnist. Read more of his stories here. | rbragg@express-news.net | @roybragg