Followers of the Everyday Sexism Project have shared their wittiest responses to sexist abuse – funny, ferocious and not for the faint-hearted

When you experience sexism or sexual harassment, it’s common to feel a wave of emotions wash over you – fear, anger, embarrassment, shame, and often shock or panic. It’s often incredibly difficult to respond in the heat of the moment, and victims frequently report the frustration of feeling frozen. Sometimes you think of a witty comeback hours later and wish you’d had it at the tip of your tongue in time.

Let’s be very clear – it is never a victim’s duty or responsibility to shout back. We won’t solve any kind of sexism by telling the people experiencing it to react in a certain way, we’ll stop it by preventing the perpetrators from doing it in the first place. Often, it’s not safe to respond, particularly if you are isolated, or fear the situation could escalate. But for those times when you do wish you had a quick comeback, the Twitter followers of the Everyday Sexism Project shared a deluge of wonderful, witty responses this week.

Some were delightfully cunning.

Kari Berry (@KariAnnSpriggs) @EverydaySexism when I get harassed I always pretend I didn't hear & say "what?" The more they have to repeat the sillier they sound.

Ur GHOULPal Charlie™ (@CannibalKisses) @EverydaySexism "A woman's place is in the kitchen" you know what you're right. Lemme grab a knife.

Lorna Farrington (@lolly_chops) @EverydaySexism guy makes orgasm noise at me as I walk past. Me: "that will probably be the only time you ever hear that noise in your life"

Amanda (@KrezzyNL) @EverydaySexism a guy kept harrassing me for my phone number so I gave him the number of another sexist, figured they'd have a lot in common

And some were direct and to the point.

Amy Butterworth (@butterworthamy) @EverydaySexism Someone bleeped at me from a car as I was striding down the road. I yelled "I AM A WOMAN NOT A TRAFFIC JAM".

Sally Preston (@_sallypreston_) @EverydaySexism Man: "Nice tits." Me: "If you're going to be a sexist pig at least be accurate. I have fantastic breasts." Silence....

Some favoured actions over words.

Netty H (@NettyH) @everydaysexism 5yo daughter got told by a 7yo boy at the park that 'boys are best'. She promptly out performed him on monkey bars.

Some whipped out their secret weapons.

Eleanor Hyde (@eleanorhydenl) @EverydaySexism two French men on tube discussing me in Fr: "She's far too tall [6'+] for a woman". Me: "Oui, elle parle français en plus"

Cleo R (@CleoR7) @EverydaySexism Managed to stop white van full of men mid-catcall by shoving a big powdery donut into my mouth then smiling with mouth full

Others showcased wit and wordplay.

Katherine Atkinson (@ScattKat) @EverydaySexism Bloke: 'you're a bit too thin for me'. Me: 'that's lucky because you're a bit too thick for me'.

Amy Butterworth (@butterworthamy) @EverydaySexism MAN: "Ive got the F, C and K, all I need is U" ME: "I've got the B, Y and E, so I don't need U"

Some were direct and to the point.

Áine Ryan (@AineSays) @EverydaySexism Him: "Look darlin, I don't mean to hassle you but…" Me: "WELL THEN DON'T HASSLE ME." ...Then he got aggressive #charmer

Rebecca J.F. (@DemonicDragon) @EverydaySexism Guy on train after I asked him to move his bag off seat: "Why don't you grab my cock?" Me: "I didn't bring any tweezers."

Some played the long game.

Gareth Slater (@Gaffeff) @EverydaySexism Dealing with a complaint, person didn't like amount I offered. "I want to speak to your manager, and make sure it's ... 1/3

Gareth Slater (@Gaffeff) @EverydaySexism not some woman", "my boss is a woman", "what about her boss is the reply", "She is too" I replied ... 2/3

Gareth Slater (@Gaffeff) @EverydaySexism he stated "I'll complain to the director if I have to". "Erm, not sure what she'd have to say". He hung up!

Others were as sharp as nails.

Rowan (@AlternateRowan) @EverydaySexism Male colleague: "Don't mind her, she's on her period." Me: "If I had to bleed to find you annoying, I'd be anaemic."

Vicky C. (@_Vickycee) @EverydaySexism A friend heard a guy shout 'Sit on my face!' at a girl who replied 'Why, is your nose bigger than your dick?' AMAZING!

Karen Evans (@Karen_M_Evans) @EverydaySexism New job,1st meeting, only woman, suit asks where’s the coffee? Reply Don’t know, but when you find it mine’s white no sugar

And some really turned the tables.

Rachel Malone (@Rachel_Malone) @EverydaySexism flashed at on a bus when I was 19. Snorted and said I'd seen more meat on a butcher's apron. Flasher got off bus head low

Manners Punk (@punk_manners) @EverydaySexism On train home guy rubs my bum. I grab hand, lift it in the air & say "has anyone lost a hand? I found this one on my arse!"

Gunboat Diplomat (@soapachu) @EverydaySexism 'cor look at the tits on that!' 'Yes, well at least one of us has something worth shouting about'.

Bluestocking (@MistressLoz) @EverydaySexism Last time a man called me a bitch for ignoring his unwelcome advances, I barked at him loudly & repeatedly until he ran away

Some came from awesome male allies.

Tauriq Moosa (@tauriqmoosa) @EverydaySexism Ran up excitedly to car filled with dudes after they hooted at my friends. They sped away.

EverydaySexism (@EverydaySexism) Another recent fave from a man: "Apparently the answer to 'are you a legs man or a tits man' isn't 'sorry I'm not a sexist'"

And others came from men who had experienced sexism themselves.

Philip Kemp (@philkemp1975) @EverydaySexism I'm 6'7...drunk woman grabbed me and said "is 'everything' in proportion?" I said "sadly not. If it was I would be 7'7"

But my personal favourite was just sheer kick-ass comedy gold.