Trump to Release New Book Titled “IF I DID IT”

THE PLEBIAN: Random House Publishing Company announced that Donald Trump plans to release a new book titled “IF I DID IT” on Monday. The book will go into the details of a hypothetical situation of how Mr. Trump would have conspired to steal a presidential election with a foreign power, if he would do such a thing.

The book begins with a scene involving prostitutes urinating on Mr. Trump in a Russian hotel room which ends up being black mail material forcing Mr. Trump to run for president. Some democrats have pointed out similarities between rumors about Mr. Trump and the book but the White House was quick to point out the book is a work of fiction. “The fact that the book is fiction proves that Mr. Trump didn’t collude with Russia,” said Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders. “Besides in the famous Dossier the prostitutes were pissing on the bed, not Mr. Trump.