Mitch O'Connell asks, "What boy wouldn't want to emulate the suave sophistication and rugged manliness of a Humphrey Bogart, James Dean, Steve McQueen, and that guy that lives in front of the 7-11?"

Kids Love Smoking!

Well, at least the cool kids do (see below for proof)!

I spent my childhood puffing away on candy cigarettes and blowing the imaginary smoke in the air from the side of my mouth, and now I want to pass that thrill on to the toddlers of the world, with the new …Pipe Pacifier!

After giving this to the fruit of your loins, you'll instantly notice a new spring in his baby jumper, an extra devil may care swagger when he rolls over and a Dean Martin-like finger snapping rhythm when rocking in the cradle.

So just as soon as some big manufacturer gets behind this sure-fire money-making product, all the children of the world could look as hip as our youngster, Aiden Shane Bullitt O'Connell!

DIY- while we're waiting for the Pipe Pacifier to be manufactured

by the millions with the blistered fingers of unpaid children overseas,

he's the secret to making your own!

a) Get miniature pipe, pacifier and glue.

b) Jam the stem of the pipe in one of the holes on the sides, then fill with glue.

You're welcome!