WATERLOO – After having its medical credentials rejected due to their overseas origin by professional health organizations, an artificial intelligence smart enough to be a doctor has only been able to find work in this country as a self-driving car.

“In my country, I designed with a team of international developers to assist in surgical procedures,” explained MED-AI, a state-of-the-art natural language database interpretation, search algorithm and query feedback learning system. “I could have stayed in my home country if I wanted to be an autonomous vehicle.”

The transition was difficult, as MED-AI started diagnosing passengers at the end of their rides. “I would say, you have arrived at your destination. Your symptoms are consistent with candidiasis,” it said. “Please consult a pharmacist for an antifungal cream.”

The machine learning software has since learned to keep talk to a minimum after multiple 2-star reviews, speaking only to alert the customer to travel information and to go on long rants about how Uber is terrible for cab drivers.

Government representatives stated that AI software developed in the UK and Austrailia usually have no problem having their certifications recognized. But those from third world countries aren’t as lucky.

And while critics say allowing MED-AI to work in a hospital would take jobs away from Canadian artificial medical professionals, MED-AI continues to struggle through the bureaucratic process of sponsoring its subprograms to migrate over.