A SELF-EMPLOYED builder would face a significant tax increase if he didn’t always ask customers for cash.

49-year-old Roy Hobbs earns £37,000 per year, or just under £8,100 according to his tax return.

He said: “Thanks to bloody Hammond, ordinary hard-working blokes like me will have to pay more national insurance on the small proportion of our income that we actually declare.

“As if we weren’t already under enough pressure from middle class idiots who want us to stop drinking unpleasantly strong tea and get on with building their vanity-led house extensions.

“Luckily most of my earnings are in the glove box of the van, tied up in thick dusty bundles with rubber bands.”

Guardian reader Julian Cook said: “As a staunch believer in the welfare state I felt a pang of remorse when our builder – whom I call simply ‘the builder’ – asked for cash payment.

“But when he said it was because ‘the Tories are bastards’ I felt obliged to hand it over. Also I am scared of him.”