Sometimes we go through stressful times in life and in those times we are much more likely to "lose our cool." By losing your cool, your communication skills and all the things you know about effective communication go down the drain.





If you are going through a stressful phase, you are probably in "reactive mode." That means you are reacting before thinking: you say things you don't mean, you promise things that deep down you know you cannot accomplish, you are slightly rude to people, and you have no patience to listen to people. If you are "reactive mode," then your ability to communicate effectively is significantly limited. We need to change that right away.





I've got a simple and relatively cheap solution for you: Go work out.





In this post, I articulate 4 perspectives that I hope will inspire you to go exercise and eventually restore your ability to communicate strategically.









1. It's scientific: exercising will make you feel better





Yeah, yeah… We’ve all heard it before: “exercising is great for the body and the mind.” The ancient philosophers talked about it, doctors keep talking about it, the fitness people talk about it. For me all of that sounded like nonsense… How could exercising make me feel better? I absolutely hate it! Exercising for me was always strange, uncomfortable, embarrassing and sometimes painful. However, I have challenged myself to exercise regularly just to see if the hype was actually true. Guess what? It was true.





There’s a reason why exercising has been so highly regarded in history. Studies have shown that as little as 10 minutes of physical activity can improve your mood and sense of self-esteem . Studies have also established that either running for 15 minutes or walking for one hour every day can reduce the risks of major depression and anxiety .





I know you are busy. And I know that you probably have to work during business hours and you still have a bunch of stuff to resolve when you come back home. However, trust me on this one: if you take these minutes to focus on yourself, your ability to communicate effectively can improve drastically. By exercising you will increase endorphin levels (which makes you feel good), you will also release serotonin (which helps you regulate sleep, appetite, and mood), you will witness a boost on your energy level, and you will oxygenate your brain (which will help you think more clearly).





When you are stressed or angry your breathing rhythm changes, which impacts the oxygenation of your brain. Poor brain oxygenation impacts your ability to process information and as a result you don't think "clearly." The practice of physical activity can help you revert that.





I am not a fan of going to the gym and all. So, don’t think I am giving you this piece of advice while looking at my six-pack and enjoying my “runner’s high.” None of that. When I swim, I imagine I probably look like one of those bugs who fell in the pool and are fighting for their lives. I do not look elegant or gracious while exercising. But who cares? It makes me feel better, and quite honestly, I just have to side with science. The evidence on the benefits of exercising is overwhelming. I can’t miss out on that and neither should you.









2. Exercising can improve your social life









You don't need to be a social butterfly to enjoy the interpersonal benefits that exercising can have in your life. I have seen several articles suggesting that exercising can help you make new friends. That is true if you are going for group activities or sports. For me, that could not be farther from my reality. I cannot imagine a world in which I would enter a gym and start chatting with people. In my view, exercising can help you improve your social life because: a. you may invite your friends to go exercise with you; or b. you are reserving some time for yourself and in doing so you are becoming a more welcoming person. Let me expand on these two sentences.





If you are inviting friends or family members to go work out with you, you are both getting an accountability buddy (a.k.a. someone to push you to keep working out) and you are getting to spend some quality time with someone you like. Let's be honest and acknowledge that sometimes it is difficult to carve out some time to hang out with the people we really like. As a bonus you may even have the chance to vent about all that stuff that is stressing you out at work or at home.





On the other hand, if you just need some "me time," by all means: have it. Some of my best professional, academic, and personal ideas occurred when I was exercising on my own. I felt that spending that time away from the computer screen helped me think more creatively and helped me make sense of experiences in life. It is also true that when I am saturated with social interactions, taking some time for myself makes me feel recharged. As a recharged person, I am also a much better human being: more welcoming, more friendly, more understanding. Give it a try! Let me know what you think.





3. Experience wonderful sensations









"Find something that you enjoy doing," people told me. For me that always sounded easier said than done. How could I find enjoyment in something I really disliked? My lack of athletic talent was my greatest emotional barrier. I felt so silly trying (and of course failing at) something new.





But my good friend and wellness professional Andreia Figueira told me something that made me change my mindset: have you tried every modality of every sport? Would you be open to trying? For example, going on a walk is not just going on a walk. You can go walking indoors, or outdoors, on a treadmill, on a field, on the street, with more people, or alone, with or without music, at a faster pace, or a slower pace. How about running, swimming, dancing, biking, going to Yoga, Pilates, kickboxing, and/or others?





I tried Yoga. Love at first sight but too far from my house. I tried a spinning class. Major fail. I tried barre classes. Loved but couldn't afford them. Then I decided to try swimming, one of the sports I hated the most as a child. To overcome my hatred towards swimming, I decided to try and just pay attention to the sensations: how the movements felt, how the water felt, how each modality felt. If nothing else, it was a great exercise of mindfulness. By distracting myself and focusing on sensations, I started enjoying my practice and slowly I feel like I am becoming a more coordinated bug in the pool. How about you give this approach a try and just focus on your sensations?





The point is: the options of exercise are endless and many of them are free. Try something you’ve never done before and don’t be afraid of feeling out of place. That’s the bravest thing you can do for yourself.









4. Release that anger!





The wellness community has suggested that exercising can help you release that bursting energy. So if something or someone is bugging you for a prolonged period of time and you feel like getting physical, the best way to get rid of that energy (and not go to jail!) is through physical activity.





Anger is an affect that can trigger a process called stonewalling, which, in a nutshell, is a refusal to respond to one's request to communicate. At first sight stonewalling may seem like a positive approach to conflict when compared to irreversible outbursts of anger and aggression. However, the scholarly community has established that stonewalling is a dangerous behavior in the long run. Irresponsiveness impedes communication and the resolution of issues, thus generating deeper unresolved grievances. It is a never-ending cycle that can ruin relationships. I strongly encourage you to resist this process of stonewalling by keeping an open line of communication and keeping your mental balance in check as well.





Anger has powerful physical effects on the body, but exercising can help you manage those effects in a wholesome way. One common anger management technique is the focused muscle relaxation . This technique proposes that the person experiencing anger tense and relax each muscle group in isolation. On the one hand, we could attribute the success of this technique to the mental shift it proposes by letting you focus on bodily sensations, rather than on the stimulus that aggravates you. On the other hand, there is something to be said about the energy release that the technique provides to powerful affects such as anger and anxiety. This technique can be particularly helpful during the moment of an anger outburst. In the long-term, the goal is to prevent reaching the point of outbursts. I am confident that exercising may help you dissipate that built up energy in healthy ways and provide you a release of excellent hormones (like serotonin) as I mentioned earlier.









In sum, there are scientific, social, sensorial, and emotional reasons why exercising would benefit you. I hope this post helps you navigate this challenging time of your life. Exercising is likely the last thing you want to think about if you are managing stressful deadlines, personal dissatisfaction, or a frustrating work environment. However, by investing a few minutes of your day into your wellbeing, you will notice a significant change in your ability to communicate in challenging times while also witnessing the positive ripple effect your mood boost might have on those around you.



