EXT. NEIGHBORHOOD STREET - DAY

YOU are walking up the street, handing out flyers and giving people info about the Clubhouse. You tell them the ups and downs so that they can make up their own minds. You speak in their language, listening to their questions and criticisms. You write down some names and continue to the TREE HOUSE with a smile on your face and a bag full of apples.

INT. TREE HOUSE - EVENING

You enter the clubhouse with a stack full of possible new recruits. You see THEM start to stand from their chairs.

YOU

Hiya fellas! Been missing you all week. Nice to be back with friends to do some good in the...

THEM

Hey buddy. We heard what you were saying about us?

YOU

Huh?

THEM

We were watching you out there. We heard what you were saying.

YOU

I was hooking people up with the Club if that's what you mean.

THEM

You been saying a lot of things.

THEM

We were watching you from afar. We hid in the bushes and kept our ear to the gossip and we figured you out.

YOU

I do a lot of other things, with other people, in other places...

THEM

Nope. We know. You were talkin shit about us.

YOU

You know I take care of an elderly woman, learn motorcycles, gotta write syllabus for classes, got a life? You know that right?

THEM

Don't insult us! Don't try and get out of this one. We know what it's all about, and you don't. Club is life!

YOU

Are you ok?

THEM

Don't be nice! You're too nice.

YOU

Fine. Fuck off.

THEM

I knew that's how you felt. Be nice or else.

YOU

Are you ok bro?

THEM

What a liar. You need zero fucks.

YOU

What does that even mean? Ask me how many fucks I give?

THEM

See, you need to care more.

YOU

Dude, are you ok?

THEM

We got you pegged. You are always talking shit.

YOU

Everybody talks shit. You talk a ton a shit. So what?

THEM

You attacking us? He's attacking us.

YOU

Fine. I'm attacking you. As a friend I'll give it to you straight. What's up with the skull in the glass?

THEM

The skull in the glass gives us power.

YOU

What? It's just some skull found in a mortuary. It's not even who you think it is. Hate to tell you, but enemies will stab you in the back, i'm just punching a friend in the face. The skull has no power.

THEM

You are the enemy. We give it to you straight. You aren't rich, don't do real estate, not famous, have no sex for sale, no free coffee, no free bagels, don't code, not a lawyer, you're not one of us, bro. You got that, 'BRO'! And the skull is real.

YOU

Got it. Same ol same ol. Well I forgive you guys....

THEM

Don't need it.

YOU

I forgive you for the misunderstanding, for assuming, and for listening to whatever you think that dead talking head is promising you.

SKULL

I promise you riches.

YOU

It talks.

THEM

Of course it talks you idiot. That's what we told you.

SKULL

I promise riches. Worship me.

THEM

Yes skull. We worship you. You give us riches.

YOU

(gathering your things)

Well I had a real fun time fellas.

SKULL

I was in the Paris Opera House production of Les Miserable.

THEM

OOOoooo!! Yes skull tell us more.

SKULL

I used to do coke off Sofia Lorenz tramp stamp.

YOU

She had a tramp stamp?

THEM

Don't interupt the skull when he is reminiscing.

SKULL

Everybody drop and give me 20.

Everybody drops and does 20 pushups. YOU stand there and watch.

SKULL

What's his fucking problem. Give me 20.

THEM

Better give the Skull his 20 if you want to stay in the Club.

YOU

Gonna miss you guys.

SKULL

Fetch me my boots!

YOU

What's he need boots for? Never mind. I'll be back.

THEM

Don't ever come back.

YOU

I will. That skull is full of shit-

THEM & SKULL

Whuh?!!! How dare-

YOU

Full of shit. There's more of us then one dumb ass skull stuck in a glass. I'm rooting for you guys.

THEM

See, it's that fake positive attitude that's gonna get you killed.

YOU

I'm already dead inside.

SKULL

I offer you all a new way to put on pants. Worship me.

THEM

Yes my lord. New pants. New pants.

YOU notice the're all wearing their pants on backwards. You leave the apples in the fridge and grab a bottled water for the road. You climb out of the tree house and head back up the road.

BLACKOUT