Someone posted this on facebook. Another person commented: boys will be boys.

What’s your reaction if someone commented: “boys will be boys”?

I replied: Not a very nice justification. It implies being a boy= bully, subjugation, controlled by lust. And that those behaviour are ok.

As a male, I reject that identification. And those behaviour are not ok. They are not the characteristics of a gentleman, which is a better way to identify as a male.

He replied:Ng Xin Zhao omg dude, seriously?!. It was a joke!. Grow a sense of humor!.. 😄

I replied: Jokes are ways to justify social norms. Those who laugh agrees with the implicit message without questioning if they are justified.

Those who do not laugh feels oppressed as just because it's a joke, it is supposed to be immune to criticism? Or else those who criticised are called too sensitive, no humor, killjoy. So silence is enforced via shame, and bad behaviors continues.

It is not my intention to scold you, but hope this helps to illuminate how social change happens, how social behaviors propagate and for us to be careful with words so that it aligns with our values. So no hard feelings. Thanks for the opportunity.

Someone else replied: 2019, the year humor died.

I replied: interesting point of view. Let me see if it is true.

On the internet where we hardly know of other people's social stance, it's quite dangerous to make those kind of jokes.

If you really do think that that is just a joke it could be in a room where people all know each other, and we all know that we are not against women's right, we do not support misogynist behavior and are making fun of someone who does in the hopes of changing his viewpoint.

On the net, we do not know each other, so the roles are sort of reversed. Misogynistic people can use these jokes as justification that someone else supports their viewpoint. Saying it as a joke doesn't tell the misguided person that their view is not ok, not acceptable. We actually have to spell it out to be clear. So there is a place for jokes, it is for when the social context is clear and the jokes are not possible to be misused for bad behavior. It is generally not online.

It also is not just for the benefit of preventing misogynistic people from continuing being misguided, but also to tell those who feel oppressed by the implied attitude of boys= bully, lust controlled. To tell them not to give in, the majority is with you. That attitude is not condoned. Don't laugh along and normalize the attitude.