The Art of Owning Your Life like a Boss

A problem I suffered from as a teenager was trying to please everyone. Even if it meant bottling up my own emotions and thoughts, I just wanted someone to like me. But this hurts anyone who does this because rather than communicating with someone, you’re acting as if you’re part of a show that never ends.

That’s how life goes for a majority of us. At some point in our life we forget about the importance of being our own boss and do what we think will be accepted by society’s standards.

Of course I’m not referring to anything that involves breaking the law or committing something immoral. I’m talking about being afraid to dance in public because some random jerk will laugh at you. I’m talking about wanting to attend college to become an actor rather than majoring as a lawyer because your rich uncle doesn’t approve it. So what should you tell yourself when you’re facing conflicting thoughts such as those?

“Screw society standards and what they think is best for me.”

Your neighbor doesn’t like the way you cut your grass? Have him cut it for you as you relax on a chair watching him. You’re afraid to ask for your CD back from your friend? Bust down their door and take it from them rather than holding a grudge against them. (Freaking Steve still has my Linkin Park CD from 9th grade!)

The path to becoming your own boss is more than just standing up for what’s right and fair. It’s rewiring your brain to know your potentials and escaping the life of walking barefooted. Life is about putting on a nice pair of shoes and chasing after your desires.

Imagine the time you were given a new pairs of shoes. They were nice and you had a good bubbling feeling about them. Now imagine the moment you placed them on, someone came out of nowhere and stomped on them. Naturally, you won’t shrug your shoulders and say, “Oh well, I better look out next time.” No, you’re going to get up to either yell at them or punch them in the face. (Hopefully, you at least tell them to stop.)

But unlike that weird scenario I had you picture, think of your life as a new pair of shoes you received and the moment you stepped outside, people were continuously trying to step on them. But rather than fighting them off, you let them abuse you as you continue walking through life with dirty shoes and low self-esteem.

Sounds messed up? Good. It’s supposed to sound crazy and yet it always happen. To each and everyone one of us everyday. Some girl or boy makes us feel worthless, people share their toxic beliefs with us, and losers assassinate our dreams.

We let people abuse us and take away our own version of happiness. We forget that we’re the boss of ourselves because some jerk made a joke out of us in either at school or work. The path to becoming your own boss is to stop letting other people take advantage of you and settling for what’s right. Here’s the lesson for the art of owning your life like a boss:

1. Start tying your own shoes first before you tie someone else’s

I get it. Sometimes it’s tempting to please other people for the sake of being liked or accepted. You sacrifice things such as your goals, dreams, or plans for the sake of not disappointing someone else. As a result, their approval of us remains alive and we get those weird positive emotions.

Life isn’t meant to comfort you from day one. Sure, you have a family that takes care of you and assist with your survival up until a certain age. But it’s nobody’s job other than your own to start caring about your hopes and dreams. Nobody can tell you if you like ice cream or cookies. You find that out for yourself after placing it in your mouth and either swallowing it or spitting it out.

Nobody can force you to be happy or sad even if they took you to Disneyland, gave you a million dollars and even a puppy. You can still shrug your shoulders and think low of yourself. Despite the common belief, nobody is expected to control your emotions other than yourself. And you shouldn’t sell yourself short by seeking after other people desires so they could give us ours.

But I’m human. I understand how difficult it is controlling your emotions. You’re not going to want to laugh after a divorce or breakup. (Unless they were crazy or something.) You won’t feel the sudden urge to laugh when you slapped in the face in public. However, the second you allow those emotions to dominate your lifestyle it affects you in major ways.

You have less energy to do what you need to do because most of your energy is being consumed by those negative emotions. You forget your motives and seek unhealthy solutions to avoid reality. What’s worse is that you become more focused on other people lives rather than your own. You chase after what makes someone else happy by lying about your own interest just to please them and continue your delusional world.

Before you can help others you have to make sure you can help yourself first. Or else what good would you be for someone when you’re struggling just as much as them. How can you maintain a healthy relationship when you’re the one doing all the sacrifices?

They tell airplane passengers to assist themselves first during an emergency before they assist their children because if they die trying to help the child first, what happens next? Now that child is forced to figure out what to do on their own because you did what society thought was best.

And yes, some would argue that it is a parent’s instinct to immediately help their child first rather than dealing with society’s criticism. And in many circumstances that is correct. A child should be fed first before an adult during a famine because they’re weaker. A child should have something to wear before their parents while living in a poor village because they should be protected from catching deadly diseases.

But in major situations where your survival means the difference between life and death for you and your family, it’s best to have you, being the strongest person, get help first. Or else the entire team goes down.

The pilot doesn’t tell people this rule because he just finished watching the Hunger Games and wants to see a real life version of it. No. On the contrary, it means ensuring your own survival and wellbeing so you can be in a proper state when assisting others while they’re down.

People may like the idea of having someone sacrificing their own ideals to help them, but they love it even more when the person doing it is emotionally independent. You’re showing you’re not a toxic person who’s only using them to gain those “happy feelings.” You’re proving that you’re able to carry yourself and this makes anyone addicted to you and any assistance you provide for them. Sure, you might have to be selfish from time to time and tell people no. But they’ll understand and happily accept it.

Don’t be someone who needs the attention of others to feel fulfilled. Be the person who others look up to because you’re being true to yourself and still willing to help others. Be the person who can hold a smile without bending a knee to someone. To cut things short, stay on top of your own emotions instead of relying on other people to give them to you. Once that goal is met, you’ll automatically find other people following you.

Highly Recommended Read: How to Erase Negative Thoughts in 20 Minutes

2. Don’t be Afraid to step on someone else’s shoes

There’s a difference between being a jerk and being someone who stand up for their values. A jerk is someone who hides behind false confidence and exploit the weakness of others just to feel good about themselves. They become bullies because of their own failures and pull others down to their level of shame.

This gives birth to internet trolls and real life bullies who have nothing else better to do than watch the world burn. And it’s because of those jerks that make people afraid to stand up for themselves. Most people don’t have the courage to face someone who’s willing to exploit their flaws and make them feel worthless.

As humans, our prime weakness is feeling neglected and pushed away by others. When we feel like no one loves us, it makes us feel worthless and we question our existence. And to avoid those feelings, people would rather take society’s abuse than to stand up and fight.

You allow society to stomp you to the ground because even though you’re being mistreated, you haven’t been exiled yet. Whenever someone tries to screw you over, instead of simply shrugging your shoulders and saying, “Oh well,” stand up and take charge. Be someone people can’t push around by saying what’s on your mind in any given situation.

Sure, you do need common sense from time to time when engaging with other people. (For instance, you don’t want to curse at random old people who said hi to you.) The person who’s able to speak their mind and laugh at their own flaws is the person everyone looks up to. They’re not hiding behind a fake mask of confidence nor are they allowing the world to abuse them. They’re doing what they think is right and standing firm to what they believe in. People are simple and the more confidence you show them, the more likely they are to follow you.

Must Read: How to Improve Self-Confidence and Not be Shy

3. Stomp on whatever isn’t tying your shoes

People think too much about failure and what can happen if they jump out of the safety net of life. But life is just a boring television show when you settle for doing things that make you feel safe.

Sure, you can work at a boring job from 9-5 and go home to watch the same television show. You certainly won’t experience many bad moments living a lifestyle that way. But think about when you’re on your deathbed and looking back into your life.

Are you really going to find it admirable of all the times you watched your, “The Simpsons” or “Keeping up with the Kardashian.” No. You’re going to be pissed off that you didn’t face your fears and the possibility of failure. You’re going to regret not doing the things you thought about while you were at work.

Are you scared of failure? Failure isn’t a pretty sight to face, but it’s what you make of it that counts. Rather than balling up into a fetus and saying, “Woo is me,” stomp failure in the face before it hits you first. Grab failure by the hair; pull it across the mud and kick it.

People who do this can laugh at their mistakes and try again because their happiness doesn’t entirely rotate around that. They know what’s important and they don’t let their pride get the best of them. They save their worries for bigger problems they face. Not for trivial subjects such as, “She might not think I’m cool if I do that,” or “I will look silly if I failed at this.”

Highly Recommended: Double Your Productivity: 4 Ways To Double Your Time

4. Ignore the tiny rocks on the bottom of your shoes and focus more on the piece of gum stuck on it

Do you bother removing every tiny rocks that get stuck on the bottom of your shoe? I certain you don’t because people don’t complain about those tiny problems.(Unless you have a major case of OCD.) It’s what we should all expect to encounter after walking outside. But I bet the moment you found a piece of gum underneath your shoe, you’ll be quick to get it removed.

If you’re like the average person, then you allow the little things in life bother you the most. (And trust me, I’m probably part of that category.) I’m talking about problems such as, “Why hasn’t anyone liked my Facebook picture this hour,” “that person didn’t say hi to me today,” “I’m so ugly,” or “They didn’t let me into that club.”

If those are the typical worries that float about your day, chances are you’re not investing in your regular choices wisely. When you allow the small things in life bother you to a great extent, you’re not balancing your routines to what you should actually be participating in. (Why complain about a single bad egg when you have an entire farm to take care of?)

This is how people who live at home with their parents care so much what internet arguments and the opinions of random YouTube videos. When you care too much about small problems that can easily be ignored or dealt with, you’re not setting on a healthy journey.

Each area you care for should be worth your time because you’re investing your energy into it. Unlike money, friends, or whatever, time isn’t a resource you can never get back. Time should be a tool you take very seriously in regards to how to spend it.

Whenever a girl at Starbucks roll her eyes at me when I try to flirt with her, I’m not going to cry and think it’s the end of the world. There are around 7.2 billion people on the planet for me to dictate my emotions around one random girl. Instead, place your worries towards your business, your career, and your education so you gain the motivation to stay on track and remain focused.

Your brain is only capable of worrying about so many things before you overwhelm and stress yourself out. Limit your concerns to what matters to you such as your closest relationships, your health, and your environment.

Don’t share it with to the random loser who wanted to start a debate on YouTube as to why he thinks he’s right about bubblegum. A boss laughs at the face of those kinds of people. Remember, you’re getting older and have less energy to care about what the sheep’s are moaning about.

Must Read: 27 Effective Ways To Make Life Simpler

In further thought….

The art of owning your life like a boss isn’t meant for everyone to master. There will always be complainers such as there will always be emotionless cats. You’re in charge of your own decisions and what you’re comfortable with doing. But if you’d like more information about how you can own life like a boss, a good author to follow is Robert Greene. He has written several books, two of which I have below, and they all layout the ways to conquer life.

Must Read Books:

1. Mastery

2. The 48 Laws of Power

________________________________________________________________________