(My boyfriend and I have no intention to have children. The following takes place over text while I’m teasing him.)

Me: “You just can’t handle getting old.”

Boyfriend: “Oh, dear, you’re hysterical again.”

Me: “Yes, my womb is wandering around my body affecting my emotions.”

Boyfriend: “I’ve been concerned about your womb lately.”

Me: “As long as you keep out of it we’ll be fine!”