I'm a French Muslim who is gay, and a feminist. I no longer want people in my country to think that it is an impossible blend, and that these different aspects of my identity are incompatible. Today in France, gay teenagers are almost 15 times more likely than those who are straight to kill themselves because of their sexual orientation. Left deeply bruised by this fact, I decided to create an association in support of gay French Muslims, which launched in 2010.

This eventually led me to plan an inclusive mosque in Paris – the first of its kind. It is a project born after a long personal journey. As a teenager, when my representation of Islam was a radical one, I learned half of the Qur'an by heart. I was bewitched by the beauty of the texts, which were steeped in universalism. But at the age of 17, I came to terms with the fact that I was gay. After more than 15 years of reflection on the matter, I now understand that the Qur'an does not explicitly refer to "homosexuality", nor does it refer to women as "inferior". Indeed, the strict and dogmatic interpretation of some verses of the Qur'an is no longer unanimous, especially in the eyes of progressive Muslims across the world (even if we remain, for the time being, a minority).

I also realised that neither homophobia or misogyny respect Islamic ethics, to which I adhere fully. I now want to share my love and search for a peaceful spiritual path with as many people as I can, drawing on new foundations to represent the daily experiences of French Muslims in their spiritual quest. This is why I want to open a place of worship where people will always be welcomed as brothers and sisters, whatever their sexual orientation or ethnicity. My project is supported by men, women, trans people and even fathers who tell us that they do not want to leave a radically exclusive Islam to their young daughters as their legacy.

My plan is not strictly about opening a "gay mosque", or even about celebrating gay marriages. Muslims consider marriage as a social contract between two consenting individuals, to be established in front of at least two witnesses, and celebrated in front of their community – that is, those who see them as a couple. The prayers of the imam only work to call attendees to bless the happiness of the newly wed, and they're certainly not intended to seal a contract between two zawjan – a gender neutral Arabic term meaning "spouse". Unlike the Catholic church, for example, which continues to unilaterally decide who may or may not marry, Muslims do not regard marriage as a sacrament.

This project gives hope back to many believers in my community. Common prayer, practised in an egalitarian setting and without any form of gender-based discrimination, is one of the pillars supporting the proposed reforms of our progressive representation of Islam. North American and Canadian vanguards have already started practising it. In North America, progressives are often assisted by Christian congregations or even private companies, which let them use a portion of their premises for Friday prayer. In Paris, we will for the time being benefit from the support of a beautiful Zen Buddhist temple in eastern Paris, but we are looking for a more viable solution in the long run, a venue more central to accommodate as many worshippers as we can.

I don't believe that the issue of minorities' rights allows citizens to carry specific claims, or make exceptions. It simply allows us to address issues that concern all French Muslims, and beyond that, all of our citizens. Looking at feminism and homosexuality within Islam permits us to look at our relation towards religious authority, to question institutional dogma and by extension, to ponder freedom itself – the freedom to define our identity, without concession, compromise or submission.

• This article was amended on 26 November to correct a reference to "gender identity" and replace it with "sexual orientation" in the first paragraph that was an error in the translation process