Transcript:

Calvin: I think our newspaper needs a new advice columnist, so I'm applying for the job. See, I've written some sample answers to people who write in. Hobbes: "Stop whining and get a life, Bozo." "Don't tell me your stupid problems. I've got plenty of my own." "Go soak your head, you big baby." "Want some advice? Drop dead." I guess that covers about everything. Calvin: Can you imagine doing this for money? What a racket!