“My New Husband Took Nude Photos of My Daughter”

I am in a crisis here and I need help. My 16-year-old daughter caught my husband of literally not even a month trying to take pictures of her getting out of the shower. I confronted him and he finally did admit to it. He didn’t get any pictures that I know of. This is a first time offense for him. I’ve known him since high school and this is just not like him. I have told him he needs to get help immediately and he is not to be alone with my child at all until we can trust him again. Am I stupid for not just giving up everything because he violated my daughter like that? I feel like a bad parent. My daughter did say she’s okay with my decision to let him stay as long as he gets help and isn’t allowed to be alone with her. He’s turned my world upside down and all I want is to be back to the way it was. I know it will never be like that but I can at least try to get it there. Please help. — Mom in Crisis

“First offense” or not, your new husband violated your under-aged daughter during one of the most personal and private of moments. And you’re going to allow him to continue sharing a bed with you? Continue living under the same roof as the young person he violated? I am sure you must be in shock right now, so I’ll spell it out for you clearly: this is not a man who should be allowed around your daughter, period.

Can you ever imagine having to share a home with a man who took photos of you against your will as you were climbing out of the shower? Your job as a mother is to provide a safe and loving home for your daughter and making her live in a home where she’s been violated is not doing that. Kick out your husband, seek some therapy, talk to a lawyer, and consider having your marriage annulled.

I know those aren’t the words you want to hear, but they’re the words you need to hear. I don’t care if you’ve known this person since high school and this is out of character for him, a man who would violate a young person — well, any person — like that even once is not a good or healthy man. He’s not a man a nice woman would want to call “husband.” And he’s definitely not a man a loving mother would make a step-father for her children. Please do not subject your daughter to this person. Protect her. It’s your job.

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