WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—House Speaker John Boehner today called for an extension of the Bush-era tax cuts for the rich, thus ending a streak of pretending to work with President Obama that lasted forty-eight hours.

“We knew he couldn’t hold out much longer,” said Carol Foyler of Guinness World Records.

“Still, John Boehner pretending to be bipartisan for forty-eight hours is pretty darn impressive,” she said, noting that his previous record stood at twenty minutes. “This is David Blaine territory for him.”

Speaking to reporters, Mr. Boehner downplayed the significance of his record-setting performance, saying merely, “It just feels good being a dick again.”

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Photograph by Allison Shelley/Getty.