1. Alan: I don’t know what it is, but he had me at “Hello.” Sure, he might get hangry, but he’s aware of it. When you know your weaknesses and are vocally aware of them, that’s a “Survivor” superpower I call vulnerability, and it can nab you the win. 2. JP: Be still my heart — this man loves animals, understands the power of being yourself and has his ego in check? Ladies and gentleman, we may have met our Tom Westman Jr. I’m concerned the rest of his tribe will notice it before he gets to the end, but there’s something about this guy I believe in.

3. Roark: Someone call Beverly Cleary (yeah, she is alive and kicking at 101) — I want Roark to be a female heroine in a young adult novel. I love her pride in her intelligence and assertiveness, but I’m just not sure how that’s going to play out in the context of the game. The good news? She’s aware of how she’ll be perceived. 4. Ryan: Stop the presses, everyone. I have a new “Survivor” boyfriend, and his name is Ryan Ulrich. Physically, he reminds of an unstretched Stretch Armstrong version of Neal. But, most importantly, his personality is that perfect mix of vulnerable, self-deprecating and genuine that I love about John Cochran. His awareness that he needs to play under-the-radar for awhile will serve him well, but he has the risk of going out in David Wright style.

5. Desiree: I really like Desi. She’s authentic. She’s smart. She’s vulnerable. I hope they don’t see her as a threat too soon, because she’s got something triple-threat special about her — Brains, Brawn and Beauty. It’s almost Spradlin-like. 6. Cole: Cole is going to need to make some strong relationships and fast, because he’s going to be on the run like Harrison Ford in “The Fugitive” if he makes the merge. He’s very visibly a threat, but his flexibility and personality will help him go far, especially if he pulls a Jeremy Collins and goes for the meat-shield strategy — there are certainly plenty to choose from.

7. Jessica: Jessica definitely has a fierceness and emotionality to her that smacks of a certain player who fell in love with me on “Survivor: Game Changers” (Ahem, Andrea). I think she’ll do well, but she’ll get pinned as a threat. 8. Ali: If Ali doesn’t get swap-screwed, I see a bit of Julia Sokolowski in her. That’s good, but “sometimes the guy in the middle of the road gets run over.”

9. Mike: Mike, you’re a gem. I love how you own your oddness, and I think you’ll be able to parlay that into something for a bit. But please, for the love of all things, keep that super-fan status and those pee jokes under wraps or “urine trouble.” (I couldn’t help myself). 10. Chrissy: Awww, Chrissy — you remind me of me. I see a fellow hardworking achiever there, eyes alight with an earnestness and desire to play. I’m concerned, though, that you might be forcing it too much. Remember, “Survivor” is just as much about being easygoing as it is working hard.

11. Simone: At first glance, I’m concerned Simone is coming in a little too calculating and hot like my fellow Brains tribemate Liz Markham. Thankfully, she seems like she could be self-aware enough to adjust on the fly. But no matter what she does, this girl has “threat” written all over her. 12. Devon: I think Devon’s super-chill Ozzy-like personality and good looks will keep him safe…for a little while. When this guy gets to the merge they’ll be caring less about his looks and solid personality and more about his physical prowess. You seem like a cool dude, Devon, but I fear you’re a classic merge boot.

13. Patrick: Everytime I see Patrick, I think I’m looking at a Kennedy. Then, he talks, and I couldn’t be more off-base. He seems like a hard-working, down-to-earth dude, but he says he’s a talker. Hopefully, his personality isn’t too strong off the bat. 14. Ashley: When people meet this surfer chick I think they’ll expect the sweetness of Hali Ford or Woo and get the feistiness of Kaoh Rong Alecia. I want to see her go deep, but I’m afraid an intoxicating laid-back personality that makes people comfortable paired with fierceness will make people perceive her as a threat.

15. Ben: This guy’s got me intrigued in a Jason the Kaoh Rong bounty hunter meets Cody from “Big Brother 19” sort of way. It looks like we don’t know if he’ll be as docile as Paddington Bear or the second coming of ‘The Revenant’ grizzly. “Life is like a box of chocolates,” Forrest Gump once said, and this seems to be the case with Ben — “you never know what you’re going to get.” 16. Joe: Oh Joe, I love you, but I’m afraid your vibe is screaming “Tony.” King Spyshack The Great can only happen once, and based on the reception my lovely Mana tribe gave him, I’m not sure it’s going to go well. I hope I’m wrong.