Writes about way too many things. Has way too many opinions. Wants to tell all the interesting stories in the world.

May 21, 2019

With the latest HLTV rankings now released, we thought we’d have a little fun with (and at the expense of) the top CS:GO teams in the world by pairing them up with the 90s pop song that most represents their current state in the game. (We’ve already given it a shot with 80s bangers!) Some of them are easy to figure out and others require you to have extensive knowledge of both Counter-Strike and pop history. Can you guess them all? 10) Renegades - Praise you (Fatboy Slim, 1998) Maybe they're no longer in the heady heights of the top five, but Renegades' performances since the player break are still more than commendable, and no matter how they cope with the temporary loss of Gratisfaction, they definitely deserve praise.

9) NRG - Movin' on up (Primal Scream, 1991) Maybe not true in a literal sense, but it's definitely true in terms of stature. NRG are no longer treated as pure onliners and have shown that they can bring a good game to the playoff stages as well. Also, the whiny-beta indie rock singing voice somehow seem to fit a plucky North American side, wouldn't you agree?

8) FaZe Clan - Bills, Bills, Bills (Destiny's Child, 1999) How long has it been since FaZe were this low down the rankings? Having tethered themselves to NEO for some ungodly reason and the org marred in a lawsuit-related controversy, this has to be one of the lowest points in their CS:GO tenure.

7) NiP - Baby One More Time (Britney Spears, 1999) It was either this or Oops, I did it again, but that was released just a little bit too late for our purposes. In any case, the Ninjas are turning the clock back somewhat, reaching three consecutive LAN playoffs. Whether that's a sign of long-term improvement or a temporary bump remains to be seen though. Also, of course, there's the classic animated video: hit me camper one more time...

6) MIBR - Remember the time (Michael Jackson, 1991) The Brazilians seem to be clinging to their old stars a little bit too much, not showing anything of note against the top-tier sides in the game. Nostalgia and brand recognition are powerful assets but it's not like this roster sparked the same sort of excitement since its reunion than it originally did. At least we'll always have the memories.

5) Fnatic - No scrubs (TLC, 1999) Who would have thought the Swedes would bounce back like they did after the nadir that was the 16-0 defeat at WESG? Two prestigious LAN finals in a row show that Xizt's men are not to be trifled with anymore, since they are, as the song shows, no scrubs.

4) Natus Vincere - Hero (Mariah Carey, 1993) ♫ And then a s1mple comes along / With the strength to CARRY on... ♪

3) ENCE - This Is How We Do It (Montell Jordan, 1995) Org-building, team ethos, tactics, faith in youth, you name it - ENCE are a shining example of it all.

2) Liquid - Loser (Beck, 1994) Sorry, folks, had to meme it up with this one!