Donald Trump tried to magically mask his years of paranoid speculation about the whereabouts and authenticity of President Obama's birth certificate today with a 23-word statement at his new hotel in Washington D.C. In it, he erroneously blamed the so-called "birther movement" on Hillary Clinton, and falsely claimed that he was the one who put those rumors to rest.

"Hillary Clinton and her campaign of 2008 started the birther controversy," he said. "I finished it. President Obama was born in the United States. Period."

No mention of the fact that after President Obama produced his birth certificate, Trump demanded to see his college records for verification. No mention of the fact that he insinuated that the State Health Director who verified the birth certificate was whacked to keep him quiet. And no mention of an apology for his role in spreading the birther suspicions, which were pretty darned racist and harmful.

No matter. After Trump finished, the MSNBC chyron read "Trump: Obama Was Born in the U.S., Period." The New York Times' headline said the same. So did the A.P.'s.

Come again?

As we've noted before, Trump has a habit of running his campaign like a Twitter feed, issuing constant updates, each one more absurd than the last, to push his most recent scandal farther down the feed. Who has time to talk about the Trump Foundation scandal when it's Birther Day on CNN? But this tactic only works when the media takes Trump's every utterance at face value.

Did he finally admit President Obama was born in the US? Sure. But did he also lie and fail to apologize for starting that rumor while doing it? You betcha!

A few outlets, to be fair, got it right.

People on Twitter also had some suggestions for more accurate headlines.

For our part, we'd go with something more along the lines of: Trump Rickrolls the Media With Hotel Press Junket Followed By More Birther Bullshit. But that's just us.