Hey, why spend Halloween giggling your way through a haunted house full of plastic skeletons and fake corpses when you can go find the real thing? After all, around the world you'll find all sorts of places where you can stumble across a massive field full of half-buried or half-sunken bodies, their lifeless skulls staring up at you from the realm of the dead. So why not go pick up a real-life curse from ...

6 The Smoked Corpses of Papua New Guinea

Have you ever been at someone's house, noticed that they had their grandpa's ashes on display in the living room, and thought that was a little too morbid? Then stop reading. Don't look at the following photo. Seriously, don't.

Mangiwau, Getty Images

Dude, what the hell is wrong with you?

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That's how the Kuku-Kuku people of Aseki in Papua New Guinea remember their grandpas -- when they're feeling nostalgic over a lost relative, they simply look up at the smoked corpses watching over their village from their comfy wooden gallery and say, "Oh, wait, there he is. Hey, Gramps!"

Ulla Lohmann, National Geographic

HealingSeekers team

"You're, uh, looking well."

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And yes, we said "smoked corpses." As in they hold the dead body over a fire, then wait until the smoke sucks out the moisture and adds some antibacterial magic that imbues it with the yummy flavor of mesquite. But they're not still doing this today, right? They totally are! When a tribe member kicks the bucket, sometimes their relatives go for Christian burials, and sometimes they just throw the bodies over the fire for smoking. To quicken the process, the relatives repeatedly stab the body to milk out its fluids, and they draw out the soft, easily decomposable organs through an anal spigot.