Things are beginning to change, though. Elizabeth Quay is on the right track in starting to make the river pay its way, cashing in on its splendid location. I believe this development will become an outstanding addition to our list of iconic attractions. The Perth city foreshore in December 2011 (left) - and how it looked in April 2015, with construction of Elizabeth Quay well and truly underway. Credit:nearmap I asked the good folks at the Metropolitan Redevelopment Authority why Elizabeth Quay had come out the size it had. The answer – in a nutshell – was that the MRA had inherited the project from the Department of Planning after the latter's 20-year "conversation" about the mooted development. Elizabeth Quay is that size and scope because that's what had been discussed over that time. More importantly, its hub location integrates it into public transport. My brainwave: why stop there? Why not extend quay developments east all the way along Riverside Drive to, say, parallel with the Hyatt Regency? And for that matter – why not have a matching set of quays on the South Perth side? The fact is those riverbanks have been manicured and laced with a bike path for as long as I can remember. There's nothing precious about them. They've not been preserved in the condition that original explorers would have found them.

There's no heritage concern then – so let's turn the strips north and south of the river into a cash cow like Sydneysiders have done with Darling Harbour. Brisbane and Melbourne have done brilliant deveopments on their rivers, too. Would Perth benefit from water taxis, like those in Sydney's Darling Harbour? Credit:Narelle Autio An extended Perth quay development would be a great boost for that eastern end of the city that still has a slightly shabby, neglected feel in contrast with the Barrack to Milligan Streets' "golden square". And poor old South Perth has to make do with just Mends Street for its cosmopolitan colour. Our new quays could be serviced by light rail, perfect for shifting tourists along to new spending opportunities. I'm sure the planners at the MRA are now asking why they didn't think of this? In which case, I'd also like to punctuate the river between the Causeway and the Narrows with a giant fountain like Canberrans have with the Captain Cook Memorial Water Jet on Lake Burley Griffin. That fires six tonnes of water 150 metres into the air. We should be able to beat that, right? Ours could be named after one of our state greats. Ideas, anyone? Could I also suggest a floating village of small bars accessible by... well, I'll come to that in a few paragraphs. A few cable cars criss-crossing the river would also be quite specky.

Closer to Elizabeth Quay, I'd also like to see musically-synchronised, "dancing fountains" installed like those featured at the Bellagio Casino Hotel in Las Vagas. Finally, a symphony of laser lights and sound every night at 8pm that dances over the city skyline as it does in Hong Kong. It's all about entertainment. That's what draws people in and gets them opening their wallets and purses. We need to "celebritise" the city. Our business should be showbusiness. And while I'm on the subject of the river: What role is it going to play in a future transport strategy that aims to relieve some of the gridlock that – left unattended – could make Perth the most congested city in Australia within 16 years? I asked that question of the Department of Transport and the surprising news is that neither ferries nor water taxis will play any role in future transport strategy. It seems to be me that the potential of the river as a convenient and picturesque commute has been neglected – aside from the "toy" ferry crossing between the city and South Perth.

Back in December 2012, then transport minister Troy Buswell told Fairfax Media: "I suspect in the next five to 10 years, the ferry service will play an increasingly important role in moving people around the city especially considering developments happening right up on the banks on the river," he said. Mr Buswell said that there was a zeitgeist for change on the river. Obviously, that ended with him. Why couldn't commuter ferries be running from Fremantle, Mosman Park, Claremont and Applecross? As well as all other destinations serviced by navigable river? These needn't be lumbering old ferries, but could be swift, sleek modern catamarans or hovercraft of all sizes. Those airboats they use in the glades of Florida only need about a teaspoon of water to keep them afloat. And how about a range of "share" water taxis with various capacities to keep commuter fares down? (And for getting to those floating small bars.) Public transport on water has to be a low-cost, part solution to the congestion problem. You don't have to lay roads or rails - just stick in some boats and jetties and away you go. The planning wonks can sort out the extra car parking.

It seems to me we could be making much better economic use of the Swan River rather than as a glorious ornament or just as a plaything for those who can afford boats or jet skis. As a commuter waterway, it would forge a much stronger bond with the people of Perth who would be able to enjoy its benefits beyond the merely scenic. And what a nice way to start and finish the day. Someone, somewhere, some place, is doing something stupid, thoughtless, selfish or just plain wrong. It's the stuff of daily life that gives you and me the irrits. And that's what you'll read about in Ray's Rant. If you've got a pet beef, let me know. Chances are, I might just share it with you. Comments are very welcome. Follow WAtoday on Twitter