A half-century or so ago those in possession of a Y chromosome had it good (the white ones, at least).

Back in the good old days, it was legal for a man to rape his wife. But then the feminist bitches took over, and starting in the 1970s they began taking away a husband’s rights, and by 1993 spousal rape was illegal in every state. Twenty-two long years since freedom died.

Things just keep going downhill for us poor men. Women can control their reproductive organs now and even get credit cards without a husband’s co-signature. And since some of them can make enough money to be able to afford to leave their husbands, they leave their husbands!

Can’t fuck her whenever I want. Can’t keep her in financial bondage. Can’t make her keep popping out babies. Can’t make her stay. Look what they’ve done to us.

#ManTears

Back in the real world, two years ago Steph Guthrie wrote an insightful blog where she examined that what Men’s Rights Activists really want is not equality, but preservation of male power and privilege. And so, she coined the term Male Power Advocates, because that’s what they are.

Except it only tells part of the story.

Yes, MRAs really do advocate for returning their lost privileges. Like I wrote in my piece for TIME Magazine last year exposing MRAs: “Imagine a kid who got a cone with three scoops of ice cream in it. Good flavors, too. Like peanut-butter chocolate, plus a scoop of cookie dough. In a waffle cone. And then this child whines about the lack of chocolate sprinkles on top.”

But what is missing is that the chocolate sprinkles won’t make them happy. Even if we to return to the “fabulous 50s” where male power was far more pronounced than it is now (and yes, it’s still very pronounced), the type of guys who make up MRA wouldn’t be happy.

That’s because they’re losers.

Whiny. Fucking. Losers.

These days, MRA take to the Internet in a circle-jerk of bitching and moaning about how life isn’t fair. In the old days, they lined up at the bar in a circle-jerk of bitching and moaning about how life isn’t fair. The only good thing about the “good old days” is that only the poor bartender had to listen to their bullshit.

See, even before feminism there was winners and losers. Back then there were people who were angry, unfriendly, stupid, unwashed, greasy, sleazy, socially inept, assholish, ineffectual, unemployable, unpromotable …

They sat around the bar and blamed their boss, the government, the blacks, the Jews, the Italians, the Irish, the Hispanics, bad luck and God for their woes. I’m sure there was also plenty of hate spewed towards women for such men’s inability to get laid.

Let’s boil some of this down to one parameter for a moment: sex.

I like getting laid. It’s fun. Back when I couldn’t get laid, I wondered what I needed to do to get laid.

And so, I worked on me. I worked on my education, my personality, my skill set, my career and my body. And guess what happened? SEX! And love and marriage and family and success and all that awesome stuff.

An MRA is a loser who doesn’t look inward on how to improve, but looks outward on whom to blame for sucking, because self-improvement is hard. Also, not having women praise their genitalia the way it happens in porn makes them angry.

Of course, they’ll just say I haven’t had my “red pill moment” yet, and that by trying to better myself I’m playing to the female-dominated Matrix and all I can think of is how to please women because I like to use my penis for stuff other than urination. Hey, my website and social media are all called “Body for Wife,” so it’s pretty obvious what my motivations are. It has nothing to do with an old inside joke with friends from when the book Body for Life was popular.

What is my evidence of MRA being a bunch of losers? Here is but a small sample:

Paul Elam is the most identifiable leader of MRA, and this exposé tells a tale of a man who was a deadbeat dad, lousy provider, racist, drug and alcohol abuser, who, when his wife was raped, said that she was asking for it. Since then he’s had a number of failed relationships, and has had a habit of living off women. Feel free to read the entire piece to learn about the ghastly positions this man has taken in regards to women and feminism as the leader of the website A Voice for Men, which is supposed to be the more “moderate” voice of MRA, and is the centerpiece website of the movement.

The above story also tells of how the AVFM website, which is run by volunteers and is for profit, barely makes any money. As a capital venture, it’s a failure. Despite Elam sinking so much time and energy into it, he’s not having a lot of success selling his brand of hatred.

On the Twitter front, David Futrelle did some investigating and discovered that two of the most active MRA Twitter folks, AVFM leaders Dean Esmay and Jack Barnes, had mostly fake Twitter followers (only 26% and 20% respectively, were genuine). I checked my Twitter following using the same tool and discovered that my followers were 88% genuine. Futrelle’s score was even better at 92%. Is it possible that Esmay and Barnes are losers who have to buy followers to pretend to be popular?

Canadian MRA Dan Perrins recently launched a hunger strike for what Futrelle describes as “vague and grandiose” reasons, and no one cares. People cared when Gandhi went on a hunger strike, because he was a great man loved by millions. But with Perrins people just shake their heads and wonder dafuq his problem is.

A Voice for Men has a regular contributor who is a holocaust denier and fan of Hitler – this is the kind of guy the movement attracts.

In the recent UK election Mike Buchanan ran on a men’s rights platform and came a very distant last with only 153 votes (the winner got 19,448 votes), showing just how much the vast majority of people don’t like these guys.

In the most recent move of epic loser-dom, MRAs are boycotting the critically acclaimed Mad Max: Fury Road movie because, I don’t know, Charlize Theron is tough, or something.

It goes on and on. Visit David Futrelle’s We Hunted the Mammoth for years worth of examples of how pathetic the members of MRA truly are. While feminism has its extremist elements, for MRA extremism and promotion of violence against women is the norm and happens at the highest levels, which is why the Southern Poverty Law Center keeps many of the most popular MRA sites on a “hate watch.”

I have mentioned in the past that there are some real issues faced by men worthy of acting upon. BUT MRAS AREN’T DOING SHIT ABOUT THEM! When they’re not lying with statistics they’re latching onto such issues and acting the martyr as an excuse to spread anti-women hatred. For most MRAs, the primary talking points affect them not at all; 19-year olds pretending to be indignant over parental rights and alimony is hilarious, whereas those who have no affiliation with service pretending to care about combat death percentages and PTSD rates for no other reason than to promote misogyny is just offensive. MRAs laughably claim to be for equality as members of a gender with an institutionalized upper hand, a fact they dispute in the most comical of ways.

For MRA the issues are nothing more than ammunition they’ve either twisted or appropriated in order to complain about the fact that the world doesn’t appreciate a loser. And so, they blame feminism for why their lives suck. They seem to be blind to the fact that why things suck for them is simple: they’re losers, and they’re not willing to do anything to stop being losers.

Not sucking is hard. Complaining is easy. And that’s why we have Whiney. Fucking. Losers. That’s why we don’t really have MRAs, we have WFLs.

Comments are now closed. Why are they now closed? I’m so glad you asked. I let the MRAs rant on my page for four days straight after this article was published, spewing all sorts of misogynistic bullshit and proving my premise that they are Whiney. Fucking. Losers. Here is but one example.

So, dear MRA reader, you had several days to speak your piece, and all you did was reinforce my opinions. Well done.

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James S. Fell is an internationally syndicated fitness columnist for the Chicago Tribune and author of Lose it Right: A Brutally Honest 3-Stage Program to Help You Get Fit and Lose Weight Without Losing Your Mind, published by Random House Canada. He also interviews celebrities about their fitness stories for the Los Angeles Times, and is head fitness columnist for AskMen.com.