M/M Erotica, Sci-fi/Horror

Series: NOGenre:NOAge Group: Just… NOLength: only 15 pages–blessedly.Release Date: March 19th 2015Format: KindleSource: Purchased. Unfortunately…Overall Rating: NO. I’m not even going there.Thanks ladies! You picked me a real winner >. Want to pick my next READING DISASTER? Check out these fabulously RIDICULOUS titles! #FML. And I have to say that I was a bit disappointed that I didn’t get to read about the Cheese Puff pimp in “Cheesy Puff Came to Life And Pimped My Gay Ass!” but hey we can’t always get what we want.First, lets discuss the cover. It’s great right? Or no. No it’s definitely shit.Now that that’s covered we can get to the meat of the story. ⟵ heh. like what I did there. o.OKirk is a genetic scientist that works with DNA by cloning parts of human bodies with parts of animals–like a hybrid kinda deal. We get a lengthy intro into why that is, but to be honest it was quite boring and made absolutely no sense so I won’t bore you with the details.One day Kirk walks into work and it’s his turn to give DNA for the cloning research. You see they can only work with their own DNA for ethical reasons. Yes, it said ethical reasons. Anyway, they cross his butt DNA with some kind of flying bird and volla! They “hatch” a flying butt.When Kirk meets his flying butt for the first time he realizes that all of his deepest darkest secrets were transplanted into this butt with his DNA! And yes, the butt talks–through it’s beak (I think). After realizing this he becomes intrigued, and his colleague being the good wingman he is, leaves him alone with his butt so they can get better acquainted, and you know, have a sleepover.However, Kirk wants to wine and dine his ass before the sleepover so they go out to eat–at a restaurant–in public. It is there that Kirk realizes he wants more than ass from his ass, meaning he feels a connection with it. Only it doesn’t have a name so he names it Portork.Poor Kirk. He just can’t seem to find the right guy. Until he meets his own ass that is. And as dinner progresses he can’t contain his lust anymore.So… I don’t think I need to point out how narcissistic falling in love with your own ass is, do I?They race to Kirks house and can hardly contain their lust to get through the front door. They immediately start kissing (I have no idea how though since his ass has a beak) and race into the bedroom. Then Kirk’s clothes start flying off and a penis sprouts out of Portork’s ass–so of course Kirk immediately starts sucking on it and things get steamy.After a bit of foreplay Kirk can’t take it anymore. He wants Portork to do him now!So they get to it. There is butts pounding and wings flapping but there is also something more.Awe, true love. <3 They switch places and then Kirk is topping his own ass, and this happens…Yeah, so it was a quick read at 15 pages. o.O Yup.SPOILER ALERT!The next day his ass dumps him after their one night stand and Kirk is devastated. Only to learn that it was a joke. No not the book silly, leaving him was. Portork tells him he loves him and they are meant to be. So Kirk and his ass live HEA.I will say that Chuck Tingle is not a bad writer in theory. If he wrote something “real” I might read it. Well no, I wouldn’t. But that’s only because I read this one, and I can’t ever get back those 10 minutes. Or the visuals–you’re welcome BTW.Oh! And it’s lendable! So if anyone wants it just throw me an email. I’d be more than happy to lend it to you!