School And Life Has Depleted Your Self-Confidence

I don’t know you or may not have ever met you, but I do know this one fact… you use to be the one of the most confident people in the world. You tried something and didn’t stop until you got it right. This is how you were able to walk and talk. Then something terrible happened. You started going to school and started socializing with other people. Whenever you did something and didn’t get it right, you were judged by either your peers or your teachers. In your mind, bad grades meant that you were “stupid”. The reality is, you probably don’t use 90% of the stuff you learned from school, but the stuff that’s important in your adult life (building good credit, saving money, starting a business or getting a job, etc), you struggle with because they didn’t teach it in school.

When You Compare Yourself To Others, You Will Never See How Successful You Really Are

A major problem people have is they’re always comparing themselves to others. When you were a baby trying to learn how to talk, you didn’t compare yourself to your siblings or parents who could talk and express themselves clearly. All that mattered is knowing how to talk one day.

Whenever you first tried to walk, you wobbled and fell flat on your face before you were able to walk and move around like the rest of society. When you were a baby, all that matter was getting the “walking thing” down pat. It didn’t matter to you if your siblings or parents were able to walk forwards, sideways, and backwards. You never compared yourself to others at this point in your life. This is why you were able to keep going until you got it right.

As you got older, due to socializing with others and being judged by others, you stopped trying until you got things right. Instead, you let the judgement from others affect you in a way that made you lose your self-confidence. Instead of taking judgement as feedback to do better, you took this judgement as “you’re a failure and you should just give up”.

You Were Placed In A Safe Environment That Encouraged Progress Over Success

When you were a baby, your parents and other adults celebrated every step you took. When you were a baby learning how to walk, your parents would be waiting for you to walk to them with their arms wide open waiting with a hug. You felt encouraged to keep trying until you got it right.

As you get older, you lose that safe environment and success is valued over progress. The winners get the trophy, not the guy who is doing just a little bit better than the last game. You need to keep this “progress mentality” if you want to succeed.

Practice Is One Of The Most Important Elements To Success

The top scorers take the most shots but they also miss the most shots. In order to make more shots than you miss, you need to practice your shooting. If you practice making 100 shots a day during practice, you may start out missing 500 shots. The better you get at shooting, you’ll start to notice that you’re bridging that gap of shots made vs shots missed a lot more than the previous days.

It sucks when you don’t get what you want, but in order to consistently get what you want at a much higher rate, you need to practice. You need to go back to the point in your life when you were a baby who didn’t care about success, but focused on going at it until you got what you wanted.

The late Kobe Bryant was said to practice shooting until he MADE 1,000 shots. This took him hours to do, but he knew that it’s the practice that makes you great. If he was able to make 1,000 points each day, on game day, making 25 points is almost effortless.

Being that no one cares about how well you’ve progressed, you have to practice. Your success is determined by how well you practice. So let’s say over a 365-day period, you practiced making 1,000 shots a day. This means you made 365,000 shots a year during practice. If you were to try out for a basketball team, you would see that making the team was pretty easy because you made most of your shots you attempted. When you play an actual game, you may average about 25-30 points a game. You may notice that you’re the lead scorer of your team. This is all because you decided to focus on practice.

Stop Looking For Praise To Raise Your Self-Confidence

It’s embarrassing to fall flat on your face as a baby, but your parents encouraged you until you were able to walk on your own. As an older person, you need to give up the idea that you need praise to raise your confidence. Your self-confidence should come from one place… yourself!

It sucks when you don’t get what you want, but with every failure, there’s a lesson. Success sometimes blinds you from the lessons. If you’re a musician, you may have a #1 hit song and getting all the praise in the world. All the success goes straight to your head. Once you’re no longer making hit songs, you lose your confidence because you’ll be known as what’s called a “one-hit wonder”. Then your music career will fade away.

One the flip side, you may have a person who has been building up their music career for years. They been doing live shows, mixtapes, etc. Then one day they have a song that hits the #1 spot on the music charts. When you see then on an interview, they’ll talk about how it took them 5-10 years to make it big. They were in the music business for about a decade, but it seems like they just came on the scene out of nowhere.

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