Jesse Marx

The Desert Sun

Frank Pocino was among the first in Coachella Valley to give Donald Trump money. It was mid-October and the retired food manufacturer was sick of the pabulum, the feed-stock of the nation’s political class. In protest, Pocino donated $2,700 to Trump's unorthodox campaign, then another $1,000 in June.

By law, the 86-year-old Palm Desert resident is free to give more, though he's hesitant. He might even vote third party in the fall.

“He can’t keep his mouth shut,” Pocino said, pointing to a feud between the candidate and the family of a Muslim-American Army captain, Humayun, who died during a suicide bombing in Iraq. The man’s father criticized Trump at the Democratic convention for his proposed ban on Muslim immigration and ignorance of the U.S. Constitution.

The would-be leader of the free world lashed out at the Gold Star parents — testing the fidelity of his own supporters, and the Republican hierarchy, in the process.

Trump said the father, Khizr Khan, had “no right” to assail him and implied that the mother, Ghazala, was not mourning the memory of her son. Rather, she had not spoken at the convention because she was a prisoner of her religion.

“I’m an ex-GI,” Pocino said. “The young man was doing his duty and he was killed, and for Donald Trump to demean his family was totally uncalled for. I hate Hillary, but I’m starting to hate Trump.”

“Instead of apologizing, he makes another issue out of it,” Pocino added. “‘I’m right and everybody is wrong.’ I’ve just about had it.”

READ MORE: The Trump-Khan feud: How we got here

GOP leaders have responded with similar disgust. They included Arizona Sen. John McCain, who was not a war hero, in Trump’s words, because he’d been captured in Vietnam. McCain said he “deeply” disagreed with the presidential candidate’s sentiment: “I hope Americans understand that the remarks do not represent the views of our Republican Party, its officers, or candidates.”

On Monday, a bipartisan coalition of 40 combat veterans and the family members of fallen military personnel urged Trump to apologize. The Veterans of Foreign Wars said he was “out of bounds.”

The following day, U.S. Rep. Richard Hanna, a Republican from upstate New York, became the first sitting member of the House to buck his party, promising to vote for Clinton. Trump, Hanna wrote in a newspaper editorial, is “unfit to serve our party and cannot lead this country,” citing the critique of the Gold Star parents as merely the final straw.

In May, Republican Assembly Leader Chad Mayes said he would be withholding his immediate support for Trump. He has yet to endorse or disavow the candidate. Same goes for Republican state Sen. Jeff Stone, who said he’s focusing full-time on his congressional race.

Trump has also accused the Khans of being shills for the Clinton campaign — a line of argument that Lee Wilson, a former Marine and Cathedral City history teacher who's helped bury two of his previous students, describes as “specious.” A week before the Khans got on stage, Republican convention-goers heard from multiple people, including a grieving mother, who blamed Clinton for a terrorist attack on a Benghazi, Libya, diplomatic compound.

READ MORE: David Petraeus on Benghazi: 'There's no conspiracy'

Immediately after the Republican convention wrapped, the mother of U.S. Ambassador Chris Stevens, who was killed in that attack, asked the Trump campaign and the GOP generally to stop the “opportunistic and cynical use” of her son’s name.

“The Khans weren’t singling out Trump for their son’s death,” said Wilson, who runs the Fallen Heroes Project. As the law guarantees, Khan aired a disagreement over immigration policy, due process, and equality under the law.

Herbert Temple, a retired Army lieutenant general living in Palm Desert, faulted the Democrats putting the Khans in front of the cameras in the first place, exploiting their grief in a purely political setting. And while Temple sympathizes with the Khans, he doesn’t think the couple’s message will have any meaningful impact on public policy. Temple sides with Trump's call for a temporary halt of Muslims who come from "dangerous" countries while a tougher, longer vetting process is put in place.

“I think the entire incident is uncomfortable for everybody," Temple said. "It’s a dreadful thing to bring up during a political election. What’s important is we preserve the nation…and we owe that to Mr. Khan’s son, who gave it all.”

Brian Schmidt, of Indio, has shaken his head at politicians on both sides of the aisle. He’s admittedly jaded about the process, but even he found the spat bizarre. His own son, Suresh Krause, an Army Black Hawk pilot, was killed in 2012 when his chopper crashed in Afghanistan.

Memorial Day tributes salute war fallen and families

“I was so proud to see the Khans get up there,” Schmidt said. “There was something in the mother’s eyes. It reminded me of what my wife went through and all the mothers and fathers of our fallen soldiers.”

He added: “Every time I hear about someone getting killed overseas, I think about the door-bell and the grieving that somebody else is going to go through. And Trump should know that. We don’t care how many buildings he built. That’s not sacrifice.”

Jesse Marx is The Desert Sun political reporter. Reach him at jesse.marx@desertsun.com or @marxjesse on Twitter.