Grant- this one’s for you. I would go into more depth but somehow it got really long already….

Why Porn?

I got into porn because I just can’t seem to grasp this elusive idea we’ve all been socialized to conform to about how women should behave. I can’t buy into this Madonna/Whore complex. I got into porn because I can’t seem to understand how it has become more virtuous for a woman to throw her entire life away on one man in exchange for security and social standing. We have one life to live and women are taught to give all that up on a marriage to the “right man”, a man who she is not supposed to test out sexually, who may change down the line, who will ultimately be the biggest factor in her happiness. Women are taught to hold out and not give up their prized virginity until they get their asking price, but the women who give and take freely of sex and truly enjoy themselves are pushed into the gutter and ultimately are the ones who are called whores. Rather than commit to a lifelong pact and an uncertain future, why aren’t women socialized to enjoy their bodies and secure their own resources and create their own social standing? Why aren’t women taught to take charge of their happiness? Shouldn’t a woman who does this be the one who is respected rather than the weak ones whose only accomplishment in life is the male they managed to tie down or be tied down by? I know times have changed and it is much less common for women to actually wait until marriage, but this is still the ideal. Mothers will still brag if their daughters conform to this and daughters still lie to their mothers.

I got into porn because I like money, and the idea that wealth or success is bad will never resonate with me. The people who call material wealth a character flaw are the same people who ask for hand downs and expect others to give away freely what they’ve earned (yet ironically don’t want sex given freely). The people who criticize material wealth are never the people who have material wealth. They are the ones who for whatever reason chose not to capitalize on their potential. I will not allow these people to make me feel like I am somehow less virtuous than them.

Material wealth is a measure of success. It is a gauge for how well you’ve applied your resources. Economically the best thing I can do right now is porn, and I’m not ashamed of that. The dollar amount I make in porn is very high compared to the dollar amount one would pull in from an average job with a good education. Being in porn has nothing to do with an inability to do anything else and everything to do with a very simple economic rule: profit maximization. I’m interested in a future that is financially stable and will remain so independent of anyone else. I got into porn because I know the value of money. I know that $10,000 invested starting at age 14 is worth close to 1.2 million at age 65 with an annual return of 10%. $16,000 invested starting at 19 with the same rate of return is only worth about one million by age 65. And $78,000 invested starting at age 27 is only worth about .8 million by then. I got into porn because I want the biggest return for the hours I put in. My time is important to me and I am not willing to trade it for less than I can get in porn.

I got into porn because I cannot stand monotony. I do not want to throw my energy into anything that doesn’t change day to day and doesn’t allow me to build something. I got into porn because even when I’m working I’m doing the things I want to be doing while I’m young. I’m traveling, I’m going to school, I’m learning about the real world, and I still have the time and money to enjoy that nagging horse habit I have. I got into porn because I feel like I’m giving up the least while gaining the most.

I got into porn because for some reason I just don’t understand what is “wrong” with porn outside of social constructs. I understand what the social constructs are, I just don’t understand why as a nation we still buy into them. When people try to explain it to me it feels like they are holding a sheer curtain in front of the argument and as hard as I try I can’t help but see straight through it. I can’t see how sex is bad. I can’t see how enjoying sex is bad. I can’t see how sex can only be enjoyed when under the influence of a certain emotional state. Sex has huge mental components, yes, but at the end of the day it is a physical act and the orgasm is a physical response. I can’t see how liking different kinds of sex is bad. I can’t see how fetishes are harmful. I can’t understand why women have to be abused as children in order to like a little exhibitionism or S&M. I think these boundaries are all specific to the individual and should stop where the comfort level stops for all involved.

I got into porn because it is some of the greatest real world education I will get. Where else, at age 22, will I learn how to network and manage myself the way I do here? There are so many subtleties in this industry. Most of them I didn’t even see for the first year. I’m guessing there are many more that I’m not even aware of yet. At age 22, what other industry is going to give me the green light on running my own business? Because that is what these websites are. They are small businesses and the girls who get them going and keep them running are small business owners. College does not provide this kind of instruction. College will provide theory only and I want both. I intend to run a much larger business someday.

I got into porn because I really do like the sex. There is a rush that still hasn’t gone away when I have sex on a set. There is a rush in talking about it. There is something very carnal that takes over when I see men like the ones I work with. I’m always asked what my biggest fantasy is in interviews and I have a hard time articulating it. For me, there is nothing like fucking a man for the sheer purpose of fucking him. There is nothing like seeing a person that I consider to be completely male and just experiencing him in that way. I will get off on the way his muscles move when he grabs me. I will get off on his jaw line. I will get off on him getting off on me. That is what I fantasize about.

I did not get into porn because of a strict background, or because of abuse. Even if I had been a victim as a child I would not let myself simply be bounced around today. I refuse to let choices be made for me. I also refuse to let anti-porn comments hurt me personally, because I believe that the final result should not be focused on so much as the reasoning behind it. When I do hear anti-porn comments, I look for the reasoning behind them and the reasoning usually crumbles. I think it is ironic that sex is in the gutter but our arguments have more merit. I think it is ironic that sex workers are in the gutter but we are more honest with ourselves than those passing judgment. Generally I think it is ironic that American culture is more backwards about sex than most of the western world as we try to hold our footing as self appointed leaders on the world stage. Mostly, I think it is strange that with the substantial amount of money porn stars make they are still asked why they do it.