TORONTO

Mayor Rob Ford’s office has never had more than 16 staff members at any given time.

Ford committed during the 2010 mayoral race to reduce the mayor’s office budget by $700,000 — which he successfully accomplished in his first year.

But with the mass exodus of six staff members in the last two weeks (one firing, five resignations), the office needs to bulk up in order to continue what’s left of the administration’s agenda until 2014.

Last week, the mayor told reporters he had hired three more people for his office, one of whom has already had her social media files combed through by the media, looking for information about her.

They also took pictures of the new hire while the mayor and new Chief of Staff Earl Provost toured around the mostly uninhabited part of the office affectionately referred to as the “fishbowl.”

So in light of the unprecedented media attention now surrounding the mayor, who stands accused of being caught on a video smoking crack, those who are considering applying for the privilege of working for the Office of the Mayor, should think about the following requirements.

I offer them freely, as one who has previously served in those trenches:

Must have thick skin: This is essential for anyone who is in politics, elected or not. In fact, considering what the mayor’s office is enduring right now, it’s best to buy tissues in bulk in case of leaky tear ducts.

Driver’s licence is a bonus but not mandatory: The mayor drives himself and the need to run errands for his high school football team has greatly diminished.

Ability to talk on the phone – a lot: It doesn’t matter if you’re applying to be the press secretary or a constituency assistant, the mayor’s office receives hundreds of calls a week. A vast majority of these are from residents who are embroiled in a disagreement with city staff, and most are legitimate issues. It’s best to take all of them seriously with copious notes. Remember, the boss gives his home number out on magnets. If you drop the ball on a file, he’s going to hear about it.

Interview tip: Repeatedly say to yourself, “Customer service excellence.”

Family conflict resolution experience an asset.

Some appreciation for ichthyology: The office is home to a fish tank, it is not easy to clean and the fish need to be fed.

Must be comfortable with your boss being mocked both locally and internationally.

Physical fitness: This will be needed to keep up with the mayor, as he moves quickly. It is also helpful if you’re able to carry large objects while you’re running as your bag will be full of water bottles, napkins, magnets and business cards.

Able to work in a high-stress environment: This is self-explanatory.

Always keep your phone charged: Calls will come in at all hours of the day and night, you don’t want to miss any of them.

Long arms an asset: When the frequent need arises to (diplomatically) corral journalists into their holding pen, it is best to be able to accomplish this goal in one fell swoop.

High tolerance level for your advice not being followed: Basically, you must be OK with not being listened to.

Experience working with young children: This will come in particularly handy when dealing with city councillors.

Understand your family and friends will forget what you look like and probably not tell anyone what you do for a living.

Excellent communication skills: When the media corner you on the second floor of city hall for a comment on the latest chapter of the alleged crack video scandal, you must say loudly, clearly and forcefully “no comment.”