Bum Steers 2016

The Great Texas Meltdown of 2015 started slowly. In fact, things were looking mighty good for perennial favorites the Dallas Cowboys when they made the playoffs last January, and they could have gone all the way if it hadn’t been for a controversial call by the refs that cost them a game. But then came their current losing season and Jerry Jones’s gauche decision to hire—and keep—accused domestic abuser Greg Hardy. That put the team back in contention for the Bum Steer of the Year, though those things turned out to be more disappointing than funny. No problem, we thought. It’s a Lege year, and the politicians in the pink dome never let us down. Yet despite several high-profile gaffes, no single person emerged as a clear front-runner. This forced us to think outside the box and even consider the New York Times, which laid not one but two cow patties—publishing an excessively fancy “Texas chili” recipe, followed a few months later by the infamous “peas in guacamole” concoction. But in the end, we could only feel sorry for the Gray Lady, who almost took the fun out of “get a rope.”



Then, on April 20, 2015, the Bum Steer gods turned the methane gas on high. The U.S. government announced that Jade Helm 15, a military training exercise, would take place across several states, including Texas. On the same day, Blue Bell issued a full recall of its products after a listeria outbreak sickened at least ten people and was linked to three deaths. At that moment, neither of these events appeared to be steers. Our beloved ice cream company was taking proper precautions. So, too, were our beloved armed forces. But within weeks, there were more Jade Helm conspiracy theories than blades of grass on the grassy knoll. Still, it was Blue Bell’s slowness to respond to a severe food safety concern—and a tone-deaf, rabid consumer base that couldn’t recognize how serious the situation really was—that revealed incompetency of truly Bum Steer proportions. In the end, the Little Creamery in Brenham put its competition in the deep freeze and took home the dubious award.