Let me tell you how a blind woman falls in love

by Annalisa Lista - 2016.10.31

"My boyfriend left me at the same time that I was losing my eyesight. But that did not keep me from being able to fall in love again and to believe in myself and my feelings". In this second appointment with West, Stefania Leone, shares with us some of her life experiences, after having lost her vision at the age of 30.



Now, how can you tell if you like a man?

For the most part, it is not me who takes the first step, but the others who notice me and then choose me.



How do you decide to go out with someone that has got your attention?

Well, seeing as in my case, the usual glances and eye-contact don't work, the focus is no longer on physical attraction, but on other characteristics. My interest and attraction can be peaked by a number of elements: for example, the timbre of the voice, the tone in which one speaks and the style that one uses to interact. Or the content of the conversation itself.



Is that enough to get you to fall in love?

Absolutely not. It's important to go beyond these things. The person that chooses to be with me already knows that I do not have an easy character, aside from not beeing 100%, autonomous, so he has to be intuitive, mature, and understand that I need help. He has to be able to help me when I can't do something by myself, but, at the same time, not overdo it with the assistance! Take for example driving, he has to choose the place to stop when we are traveling, go shoping, tell me when there are stairs or some obstacle in my way. It can be very intense, having a responsibility for two. What I have to remember is that my man is not superman, remembering everything, doing everything for me just because of my disability. The risk is that I get too used to it, which would cause the other to get tired of things quickly.



Does this more intimate approach with the opposite sex protect you from being hurt in love?

No, not necessarily. It's true that the physical aspect takes a back seat, and other things come into play, but when you can see someone, you can usually notice certain things that go beyond words. In the past, I have really made some mistakes. Because I was not able to see, I didn't realize certain negative looks or movements, just strange behaviors. My perception was not enough. It took me some time to catch on (not that much time, I have to admit), but I would have understood sooner if I had listened to the advice of some of my friends! That's why it's important for me to ask the opinion of someone else when I have some doubts, of course, a person who I trust implicity.