NEW YORK—Materializing, deorbiting, and making Earthfall by the thousands, rowdy and unruly starship crews from all corners of the transhuman sphere began arriving in New York City to participate in Intergalactic Fleet Week 2018, terrestrial sources confirmed Monday . “We’ve had to upgrade our security big-time,” said Mike Asch, owner of the infamous lower east side bar The 13th Step, noting that trouble was inevitable when the Star Command boys from Centaurus B start drinking shot-for-shot with the Arachnimorphs of Scorpius’ NGC-6302 nebula. “I mean, these roughnecks just spent a few months jaunting through witchspace and eating freeze-dried soy compounds—I get it, they definitely deserve to blow off a little steam. As long as they keep their pseudopods to themselves and don’t pull a blaster, I’m fine with it.” Though Asch said Intergalactic Fleet Week has certainly earned its raucous reputation, the yearly affair nevertheless holds a special significance for the pubman as he met his wife, 43-century-old Rezlaak Asch-Xanderfuld, during Fleet Week Ganymede in 1997.

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