Hi! Welcome back to Michelle On Your Side! Today I am going to talk about adult Bullying, but first a little gratitude. I appreciate all of you! At this point in our blog’s young life we have been viewed in over 50 countries and have had as many as 226 views in 1 day!It warms my heart that the story of my uncle, Andrew Boyer, Sr has been viewed over 550 times. I pray that his story will help others! In case you missed it here is the link: When is the Right Time to have THE TALK?

Today I’m switching it up a little on you. I’m going to talk to you about bullying. While bullying is not strictly a nurse thing, nursing is what I know so much of this will be nursing related but you will all be able to relate. Bullying happens everywhere. We hear about it in the pre-teen/teen age arena mostly. Especially when the worst possible outcome happens and either the victim harms themselves or others, or the victim is physically injured. No one talks about bullying in the work place. Adults don’t bully each other, right?

Even Taylor?

So, I put this quote from Taylor Swift, this young woman has been publicly bullied for years. She has been bullied for being too country, not country enough, selling out, boyfriends, receiving awards etc. You name it, Taylor Swift has been bullied for it, she continues to hold her head up high and still be Taylor, but I’m sure there have been many aspiring stars who were not able to stand up to their bullies and have allowed their career to go away for their own peace of mind. Why is this okay?

Nurses eat their young. You’ve got to pay your dues. It’s always been done this way. I’m making her a stronger nurse. If she thinks I’m hard on her wait till she’s meets Dr. Cranky.

These are all things that “Nurse Nancy” has said. Nurse Nancy thinks it’s okay to bully the nurses that come into her unit. Nurse Nancy needs everyone to know she is in charge. She will berate you, she will talk about you behind your back, she will undermine your work, she will take credit for your ideas, she will make you feel excluded from the group. Nurse Nancy is not a nice person. Nurse Nancy is easy to spot! If only bullies were as easy to spot as Nurse Nancy. Most bullies are not so obvious. AND not everyone who bullies nurses are other nurses. Nurses are bullied by doctors, patient & family members, ancillary staff, administration.





I would like to add a personal note here. The facility I work at has a no bullying policy that the current administration takes very seriously. It is a ZERO tolerance zone for bullies. And that goes for nurses, doctor, patients & family members. Nurse Nancy is only welcome here if she is willing to change her behavior.

Bullying is Domestic Violence at Work

WorkPlace Bullying comes in many different forms:

Teasing

Lies and rumors

Exclusion

Sabotage

Berating

Physical & Verbal abuse

In the nursing world these are still the same forms, but they come from different sources.

Which do you recognize?

Teasing…typically done behind the persons’ back. I once had a co-worker who was teased by someone she thought was her friend over a medical problem. Does Nurse Nancy feel stronger by making someone else appear weaker?

Exclusion…we don’t all have to hang out all the time, but there is a line. I once sat in a lunch room where EVERYONE spoke a different language than I did. So I sat there alone, surrounded by people.

I have seen nurses sabotage other nurses or doctors. They give enough information to make the patient save but not ALL of the information intentionally.

Berating….this can be nurses, management or Doctors. Yelling at the nurses in front of others. “Go find someone who knows what they’re doing” “How long have you been a nurse? 2 minutes???” “Why would you do it like that?” This particular form of bullying is not just what they are saying but also tone and volume of their voice, body language and not assuring privacy. My husband says “Praise in public, Reprimand in private.”

Lie and rumors and exaggerations…this one is obvious, but surprisingly common. Especially coming from patients & family members.

Physical & verbal abuse…. I have seen family members yell and curse at nurses, throw things at them, use racial slurs. ALL FORMS OF BULLYING.

Hurt People Hurt People

A bully is typically trying to cover up a short-coming or fear they have by belittling someone else. (At least that’s what my momma taught me) Growing up, I was very fortunate, I never felt the pains of being bullied. I’m not sure if I just got lucky or if it is because my mom also taught me to stand up for myself. Thank you,Mom. Oh, and one more thing she taught me>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

How to Respond to a Bully

Do not sink to their level. Don’t talk behind their back. Don’t sabotage. Use affirmations daily. DO NOT LET THEM GET TO YOU!!! (affirmation page below) Keep a log of inappropriate behavior. Date, behavior, witnesses and your response. Take away their power over you. Continue to be the amazingness that makes you the person you are. Easier said than done but don’t let them get to you. You know the quality of your work. Confront them. Ask them to stop their behavior in private at first, then with witnesses; but in a calm assertive manner. Document the conversations, their reaction and witnesses. Report their behavior with your documentation. Document who you reported it to and their response just in case this continues and you need to go further up the chain of command.

I have dealt with many Nurse Nancy’s and Dr Cranky’s in my 20+ years of nursing; as the target a couple of times but mostly as the protector (my favorite role). I’d like to offer a few more thoughts.

This is a small planet we live on.

Be nice to everyone. You don’t know what the other person has been through.

Be nice to everyone. You don’t what they are going through.

Be nice to everyone. You never know when you are going to be interviewed by that person you bullied. (that has happened more than once)

Be nice to everyone. It’s the right thing to do.

Be nice to everyone. Be the reason someone smiles today.

AFFIRMATIONS

Affirmations

Thank you all for reading! I hope you found some valuable information that you can implement.

Talk to you soon!

Michelle on Your Side

If you want to elevate the customer experience you deliver to your clientele you will LOVE this book. (You will see a lot of me in it)

The Customer Experience

Share this Tweet





Telegram



WhatsApp



Like this: Like Loading...