1. Meet someone who shows you attention. Not a lot, just enough that makes you feel notice. For example, he said hello and smiled at you each time he walked into your office. If he stops and asks about your weekend don’t pump your emotional brakes, accelerate that bitch. That’s a sign that he wants you to have all of his babies.

2. Exchanging emails and phone numbers is a huge move. He’s thinks you are trustworthy to hold such an intimate gateway into his life. It’s also the gateway into his social media accounts. Find out how many friends you have in common. Click on some girl name Brandi’s account and see why he keeps putting hearts on all of her posts.

3. Which brings us to Google. This search engine is your personal and private investigator. You like the way things are going but you want to make sure he isn’t some crazy stalker. You know his full name because you put the mail in the employee mailboxes. The company birthday roster will also come in handy when confirming his identification online.

4. The key to gaining one-on-one contact is by showing signs you two have the same hobbies. Wear his favorite team rival’s jersey on Casual Fridays. It will spark playful trash talking and help you score an invite to a loud sports bar. There you two can share an intimate moment over a sport you know nothing about.

5. Drink beer. You really hate it, but he will offer to buy you drinks, so take it and keep up! He’s definitely classified as an alcoholic, but you will be too blind with love/lust to see those raging red flags hanging over his head.

6. Get vulnerable! Declare your feelings for him either by writing a love note that you put in his mailbox, or in the millenial spirit via text message. Then sit and wait. The waiting period will last about 3 days to a week before he responds. Be patient! Those feelings he may or may not have will be strong.

7. He finally calls you! The moment you have been waiting for is finally here. The man who you have been growing and nurturing feelings for has finally told you that he doesn’t feel the same way. He will apologize for unintentionally leading you on, but he’s seeing someone, and it’s pretty new so he wants to see where it goes first. He will tell you about said girl, how they met and his hopes for their potential future. You will listen. Like you always do. Until he has to hang up.

8. Remember to keep the office rapport light and easy by ignoring him as if you were Elsa herself, and freeze that son of a bitch out.

9. Dead man’s island. It’s your newest coping method. Place him there.

10. The last step will probably be you falling into a new hobby, or onto some random dude’s dick, but no matter what you choose to do, be excellent. You will bounce back, and it will be glorious.