The Conservative party has finally answered its critics who say they are forcing Scottish poor people to take the brunt of cuts, whilst city bosses remain largely untouched.

David Cameron today announced a long-awaited scheme to outlaw tax-avoidance in the hope that it will generate billions for the economy.

Cameron said “It’s a bold scheme, a fair scheme but we have to be cautious, so we have taken the decision to do trial runs of the scheme in key geographic areas. The first area where we are going to outlaw corporate tax-avoidance is Possil Park in Glasgow, followed by the island of Muckle Flugga on Shetland. If we don’t generate any revenue from the pilot scheme then we shall just forget about it and carry on pursuing those on benefits or the sick and elderly.”

A resident of Possil Park, Levi Macglinchy said ‘ This is gonnae destroy me man. Ah’ve bin putting all ma windae cleanin’ cash in an offshore account on the cayman islands. Tory bastards.’

Tax Avoidance by companies costs the UK £3bn per year.