Police are investigating the disappearance of six members of the Proud Boys, a white power gang, who were last seen early Sunday morning navigating the crumbling, endless labyrinth beneath Club Z by lamplight.



The group of six white, ideologically vacant men reportedly wandered into Club Z — Capitol Hill’s oldest operating bacchanalian sex abattoir–late Saturday night to build on their latest “victory” in Portland.



“Those idiots walked in and started harassing everybody, and then wandered down the basement for some reason–I guess they were feeling cocky,” said a Club Z staff member, who witnessed the incident and declined to give his name. “Bet they didn’t think they’d end up in an endless stone labyrinth, lorded over by an eight-foot-tall armored sex Minotaur, huh?”



Seattle police would not comment as to how many detectives they have already lost to the endless twisting pathways of Club Z’s labyrinth during the course of the investigation.



When reached for comment via cellphone, the Minotaur sighed deeply.

“I am but a groundskeeper in this garden of carnal delights.”