



The Week’s Most Ruthless, Truthless, and Toothless Headlines

TWO BLACK LOUISIANA COPS CHARGED WITH MURDER IN SHOOTING DEATH OF SIX-YEAR-OLD WHITE BOY

According to the Washington Post, last week a six-year-old white boy from Louisiana became the youngest victim of 834 fatal shootings by law enforcement officials in America so far this year. He is one of 17 children killed by police in 2015 and one of only two that are said to have been completely unarmed.

Last Tuesday night around 9:30 PM on Martin Luther King Drive in Marksville, LA, Jeremy David Mardis was hit with five shots to the head and chest, killing him at the scene. His father, Chris Few, remains in critical condition after being struck with police gunfire.

According to a local coroner, the boy and his father were shot at the conclusion of a car chase that began after the officers attempted to serve Chris Few with a warrant. Mr. Few allegedly reached a dead end and then backed his vehicle into the officers’ car, setting off the hail of bullets that killed his son and sent Few to the hospital. There were reportedly no weapons found in Few’s car.

On Friday, Louisiana State Police arrested Derrick Stafford, 32, and Norris Greenhouse, Jr., 23, and charged them with second-degree murder. Stafford is a member of the Marksville Police Department. Greenhouse works full-time as a marshal in nearby Alexandria, LA. The fatal shooting of Jeremy Mardis occurred while both officers were working second jobs as Marksville marshals.

Based on their mug shots, both Stafford and Greenhouse appear to be black. Greenhouse looks like he may have a dash of Middle Eastern or suchlike in him, but both officers look far blacker than George Zimmerman ever looked white. It’s hard to find confirmation online on whether these officers are black, because for some unknown reason the media have chosen not to make a big deal out of this story.

“For some unknown reason the media have chosen not to make a big deal out of this story.”

FATHER AND HIS ADOPTED SON SEEK MARRIAGE LICENSE

In 2012, retired Pennsylvania teacher Nino Esposito adopted his homosexual love partner of 40 years Roland Bosee. Unless he was both extremely fertile and dabbled in heterosexuality during his preteen years, Esposito, now 78, could not have possibly been Bosee’s biological father, seeing as how the latter is only ten years Esposito’s junior.

Before gay marriage was legalized, many pairs of homo sweethearts viewed adoption as a legal way to acquire rights such as paying lower inheritance taxes and being able to make hospital visits in case, you know, one partner were to suddenly come down with a nasty case o’ the AIDS.

But now that gay marriage is legal in Pennsylvania, the daffy gaybirds are attempting to have the adoption annulled so they can legally be recognized as “husband and husband” rather than “father and son.” But a Pennsylvania judge recently denied their motion for annulment, claiming that it doesn’t meet the necessary condition of fraud. Then again, there are some people for whom the whole thing might sound like a fraud.

BEN CARSON’S CAMPAIGN RELEASES COOL NEW HIP URBAN RAP VIDEO

Possibly sentient presidential candidate Ben Carson is reaching out to his Negroidal brethren and sistren by producing a minute-long “urban radio advertisement” targeted at black youths. The ad features snippets of Carson speechifyin’ in his exasperatingly understated manner interspersed with rapping by an Atlanta-based urban performing artist who calls himself Aspiring Mogul. You can see the ad HERE or, if you’re feeling particularly adventurous and in the mood to take a wild urban safari ride, you can listen to the entire song “Black Republican” HERE.

Aspiring Mogul claims to be blessed with “tremendous lyrical ability,” as evidenced in the following undeniably tremendous couplet:

Vote and support Ben Carson/

For our next president and be awesome.

Carson’s urban reacharound recalls former Republican Committee Chairman Michael Steele“a token black man, just like Carson”and his 2009 promise to energize the GOP with an “off the hook” campaign designed to appeal to people in “urban-suburban hip-hop settings.”

MEXICAN KIDS DO AN ADORABLE VIDEO CALLING DONALD TRUMP A “RACIST FUCK”

Infuriated by the fact that the extraordinarily handsome and wildly successful Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump was 100% accurate when he asserted that Mexican rapists and criminals are coming into the USA illegally, the alleged “Latinos””and trust us, there’s nothing authentically Latin about them”in all countries south of the United States have resorted to calling Trump bad names in the hope that they hurt his feelings.

A website calling itself Deport Racism recently released a video featuring tiny, foul-mouthed brown children flipping the bird at Trump, calling him a “racist dick,” and saying, “Fuck you, racist fuck!” The video ends with the Latino children”who, on average, are shorter than white children”beating a Donald Trump piÃ±ata.

Trump hosted last night’s Saturday Night Live after Latino pressure groups tried coercing NBC into dropping him as a host. Taking a different tack, Deport Racism founder Luke Montgomery offered $5,000 to any studio audience member who would shout “deport racism” or “Trump is a racist” during the live taping.

BLACK STUDENT GOES ON HUNGER STRIKE AFTER FECAL SWASTIKA INCIDENT

Jonathan Butler is an overweight black grad student at the University of Missouri who has gone on a hunger strike to protest what he claims are a barrage of intensely anti-Negroidal incidents on campus. For Butler, the straw that broke the black man’s back was an incident in which a swastika was smeared on a white wall using human feces.

On October 10, Butler and several other black activists, a few of whom also appeared to be over the recommended ideal weight for their height, made huge public asses of themselves when they blocked university president Tim Wolfe’s convertible during a homecoming parade. Now Butler is saying he will continue his hunger strike until the university president resigns his position:

I will not consume any food or nutritional sustenance at the expense of my health until either Tim Wolfe is removed from office or my internal organs fail and my life is lost.

When asked if he was serious, Butler replied:

It’s a very real reality.

And that’s stupidly stupid. Don’t let the door hit you on the ass when you starve to death, dude.