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Our lives are always changing in both small and large ways.

Sometimes these changes can be very sudden and abrupt. They hit us hard and unexpectedly, and we’re forced to take a step back and reevaluate just what has happened.

These big life events can seem dramatic and hard-to-swallow at first, which is why it’s so important to give ourselves adequate time to digest them.

There can often be an unhealthy tendency to “keep ourselves busy” when something big has happened in our lives.

We’ll do anything to avoid thinking about it – whether it’s through work, socializing, television, or any other crutch we use to distract ourselves.



Give yourself permission to just sit and think

We often forget the value of just sitting alone and thinking.

Usually we see it as a sign of something negative and depressing, but the truth is it’s a need that any healthy mind has to fulfill.

After big life events, it’s especially important to sit, think, and transform this new information into our new “perspective” on life.

The bigger the event, the more information you need to process, and the more time you’re going to likely need to digest it and make sense of it all.



Respect your personal process

Every individual is going to vary in how much time they need to digest a certain event. For some, it may take days, weeks, months, or even years.

It’s important to respect that everyone has their own personal process for how they digest information and how long it’s going to take them before they reach some level of satisfaction.

The way in which we digest big life events will vary too. Some people may need to write, play music, or paint to help themselves digest – while others may just need some quit time in solitude.

There’s no wrong way to reflect – do whatever gets you into a thoughtful and introspective state, even if it’s just something simple like going for a walk or sitting outside in the sun.



Don’t force your thinking

Often during these introspective times, our minds need to have an opportunity to just let go.

We shouldn’t feel like we have to force our minds to think or feel a particular way – instead, give your mind both time and space to just “do its thing.”

When we let our minds wander they can often take us in directions that we wouldn’t be able to get to if we tried to by force.

And while this may not always be pleasant or enjoyable, it does provide honesty and clarity that we often can’t achieve if we are always on guard or being judgmental about our internal states.

Not every thought needs to be taken seriously either.

Our minds are designed to create and imagine many ideas and possibilities. We often jump from one thought to another, without much rhyme or reason.

Think of your thinking as more of an “experiment” your mind is playing, rather than something that has to do with you personally.

If you have a negative thought, it doesn’t mean that you are an inherently bad person – even the most positive minds experience their fair share of negativity.



Schedule a healthy amount of time to be reflective

Whenever big life events happen, we are driven to take a step back.

However that doesn’t necessarily mean you have to put your whole life on hold until you figure everything out.

Maybe you need to spend the first few days laying in bed and doing nothing. It happens. But it’s also healthy to ease into your daily life again as well, when you can and when it’s appropriate.

Schedule a healthy amount of time to be reflective – but you should try not to lock yourself in your room and curl up into a ball until you feel “normal” again either.

There’s a balance. Give yourself time and space to be reflective on big life events, but also time and space to start taking action and moving toward the future.



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