9 Ways To Have A Feminist Christmas

Hey girl, I heard you like websites.

Bustle.com seems to be working overtime to jump on the feminism gravy train. I’m not sure if I had even heard of this site a month ago and now when I look for current feminist news they are popping up all over the place. The wikipedia revelation that they are the 3rd biggest feminist website after gawker and jezebel just got me more curious. I had to google the owner of course, but I had a suspicion what I would find. Remember when I broke down viralwomen.com for y’all? Bustle is the same shit in a different pile. A bro owned company that pays it’s writers crap and is funded by some guy that knows jack about women and was universally derided by feminists around the globe who’s gotten stupid rich telling you to hang a vagina on your tree for Christmas. I can’t even. I am literally shaking right now.

Seriously. If you want to get rich, start a feminist website. I’m pretty sure you can’t go wrong because we always need MOAR FEMINISM! I would do it myself if it wasn’t for that last shred of human decency that I can’t seem to shake, and even as an atheist, sometimes it’s better to be safe than sorry, because if hell exists I imagine there is a special place in it for people who peddle feminism on this scale for personal profit.

By the way, I was hanging genitals on my tree before it was cool:

Circa 2009 (click to enlarge)

Incompetent Female Firefighters is still a thing, because equality

And lawsuits. The state of American Firefighting is a perfect microcosm of neo-progressiveness in action. In 2014 New York City paid out a settlement to the tune of 98 million dollars for racial discrimination in hiring practices. Now I’m not saying there wasn’t discrimination happening. There’s no smoke without fire being put out by white supremacists, as the saying goes. But that’s a hefty chunk of change, and can lead to a case of once bitten, twice shy, as we’re about to see, but first, just a little more history.

Doirin-Holder gets top firefighter pay, a base $76,488 after five years, because she is one of 282 “priority hires” who Brooklyn federal Judge Nicholas Garaufis ordered must get preference.

Remember the case of Doirin-Holder? Allow me to refresh you. Choeurlyne Doirin-Holder is a black woman who was allowed to graduate the firefighters academy in spite of failing the physical test. But as is often the case when reality wants to butt it’s head into a progressive utopia, a triumph for racial and gender diversity is not necessarily a triumph for putting out fires. Just 10 days into the job, Choeurlyne was badly injured and placed in a cushy desk job. Ten. Days.



And that is why I put “still a thing” in the heading for this segment, because after hearing about this story back in July I had assumed that the whole putting physically inadequate people in a job that involves life-and-fucking-death scenarios would surely be put to rest.

everybody at the [firefighters] academy is equal but women are more equal than the men.

Well, like I said, 98 million is a fine that stings, because a woman who has failed the physical requirements test 6 times is being given a seventh chance, and word on the street is she is in like Flynn. Would you want her in your unit?

There also seems to be some conspiracy to sell firefighters down the river for being sexists assholes, and I’m not saying they are, but it’s hard to imagine how you can get much respect if people know you’re getting a proverbial pussy pass.

Man Sues Video Game for Being Fun

A Russian man is suing Bethesda, developer of the recently released and massively popular game Fallout 4 for being too addictive. Nope this is not The Onion. First off, as a peasant who can’t afford a PS4, I only have familiarity with Fallout New Vegas, and I’m surprised he isn’t suing the company for making games that don’t work. Hahaha. AMIRITE? Guys?

Reportedly the man became so immediately immersed in the world of the game that he began skipping work which resulted in him losing his job and his wife leaving him. He’s asking for 500,000 roubles. Holy shit, seriously, that much? Oh wait, turns out that’s about 7k USD.

Well I can’t say I like his chances, but if he wins the case I know a few more people that are going to be lining up for a shot at the evil vidya companies. I for one figure Sid Meier owes me about 4 years of my life back, which I also value at ruffly 7 thousand USD, total.

Also, this: