TV Announcer: And Nidorina begins tha battle wit a horn attack. Oh yo, but Gengar bounces right back- n' there it is tha hypnotizzle juice of Gengar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. This could be tha end of Nidorina. Wait, tha trainer recalls Nidorina. Which Pokemon will he use now, biatch? Oh, its Onix! Now dis giant Pokemon is on tha attack. Oh yo, but Gengar jumps aside. Gengar is movin dopely todizzle, its hustlin is top notch...

Ash: Yes muthafucka! I be Ash.

Narrator: Ash Ketchum be a funky-ass pimp from Pallet Town.

Ash: And now dat I be ten I can finally git mah Pokemon license.

Narrator: Ten year oldz can git a funky-ass beginner Pokemon from Pimp Oak, tha townz Pokemon expert.

Ash: I'ma trip ta bust tha wisdom of Pokemon hustlin, n' I hereby declare ta tha Pokemon of tha ghetto, I'ma be a Pokemon master... Pokemon Masta dat is what tha fuck I be bout ta-

Delia: Ash, git ta bed hommie! It aint nuthin but 11 o'clock, n' you should be asleep.

Ash: But tomorrow I begin mah Pokemon journey. I can't chill.

Delia: Well, if you can't chill you should at least git locked n loaded fo' tomorrow yo. Here peep all dis bullshit.

Prof Oak on TV: Dope evenin Pallet. Tomorrow is tha big-ass dizzle fo' tha newest class of Pokemon hustlas. I'd like ta introduce you ta Bulbasaur, Charmander, n' Squirtle. Each one be available fo' freshly smoked up trainers, which one shall you chizzle?

Delia: Go ta bed when dis is done.

Ash: Alright, I be going.

Delia: And chizzle tha fuck into yo' pajamas all gravy?

Ash: I be going!

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Ash: Raisin a Bulbasaur. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. That'd be straight-up Simple. Its perfect, fo' beginners. (I Chizzle you, Bulbasaur!) Therez Squirtle. (I Chizzle you Squirtle!) Chizzle it or lose it yo. Hold on, Charmander, dem playas whoz ass know say thatz tha dopest way ta bounce tha fuck out. (I chizzle you, Charmander!)- Oh no! What time is it, biatch? Squirtle, Bulbasaur, Charmander- any onez fine, just please save one fo' mah dirty ass.

Garyz Cheerleaders: Gary, Gary he our man. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. If his schmoooove ass can't do it no one can!

Ash: Sorry, excuse me!

Garyz Cheerleaders: Gary, Gary he our.. yo. HEY!

Gary: Yo, peep where yo' going! Well, you must be Ash. Better late than never, I guess fo' realz. At least you git tha chizzle ta hook up mah dirty ass.

Ash: Gary?

Gary: Mista Muthafuckin Gary ta yo thugged-out ass. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Show some respect son! Well Ash, you snooze you lose, n' you way behind right from tha start son! I've gots a Pokemon, n' you don't.

Ash: Yo ass gots yo' first Pokemon?

Gary: Thatz right weak-ass muthafucka, n' its right inside dis Pokeball.

Garyz Cheerleaders: Letz go Gary, lets go! Yeah yeah!

Gary: Nuff props fans muthafucka! Nuff props all fo' dis pimped out honor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. I promise you dat I'ma become a Pokemon masta n' make tha hood of Pallet known all 'round tha ghetto!

Ash: Excuse me, I was just wonderin if you could tell me what tha fuck kind of Pokemon you got.

Gary: None of yo' bidnizz, if you flossed up on time you woulda peeped dat I gots tha dopest Pokemon from Pimp Oak. It aint nuthin but phat ta git a grandfather up in tha Pokemon bidnizz, aint it, biatch? Nuff props fo' comin up ta peep history up in tha making. Now I, Gary Oak, be off ta learn tha wayz of tha Pokemon trainer!

Ash: I be bout ta show you, nahmean biiiatch?

Prof Oak: So, you decided ta show up afta all.

Ash: Oh, Pimp Oak wherez mah Pokemon?

Prof Oak: Yo crazy-ass Pokemon?

Ash: Yes, I be ready!

Prof. Oak: Yo ass be lookin like yo' locked n loaded fo' bed, not fo' Pokemon hustlin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. I hope you don't be thinkin you goin ta train up in yo' pajamas?

Ash: Oh, no Professor playa! I gots messed up dis mornin n' I was a lil late. But believe me, I be locked n loaded fo' a Pokemon.

Ash: I thought bout it a lot, n' it took me a long-ass time yo, but I've finally decided ta chizzle Squirtle. Oh!

Prof Oak: Already taken by one of mah thugs whoz ass was on time.

Ash: Oh, I wish I hadn't overslept. But now I'ma chizzle as mah Pokemon Bulbasaur. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Wha?

Prof Oak: That one was also taken by a kid whoz ass wasn't late.

Ash: Oh. Well thatz no problem, cuz mah Pokemon is ghon be Charmander n' shiznit fo' realz. Agh!

Prof Oak: Da early bird gets tha worm, or up in dis case tha Pokemon.

Ash: Do dat mean all tha Pokemon is gone?

Prof Oak: Well there is still one left but I uh...

Ash: Pimp I be bout ta take dat shiznit son!

Prof Oak: I be thinkin I should warn you there be a problem wit dis last one...

Ash: I gotta gotz a Pokemon.

Prof Oak: Well up in dat case...

Pikachu: Pi-ka-chu.

Prof Oak: Its name is Pikachu.

Ash: It aint nuthin but so cute, itz tha dopest of all.

Prof Oak: You'll see.

Ash: Oh, hi Pikachu.

Pikachu: Pika...

Prof Oak: It aint nuthin but also called Electric Mouse. It aint nuthin but probably shy but can sometimes have a electrifyin personality.

Ash: I peep what tha fuck you mean.

Prof Oak: Shockin aint dat shit. Now take these, yo' Pokedex n' Pokeballs.

Ash: Nuff props, nahmean biiiatch?!!

Prof Oak: Yo ass is welcome!!

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Ash: Mom!

Delia: Oh, Ash I be soopa-doopa proud as a muthafucka of you, nahmean biiiatch, biatch? Yo ass is finally goin ta fulfill yo' trip n' start yo' Pokemon hustlin. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. But I'm, I be goin ta miss you all muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Oh, mah lil boy!

Pikachu: Pikachu.

Delia: I packed yo' sneakers n' jeans, sick clean shirts n' underwear n' yo' straight-up snacks n' some bangin' chocolate up in case you want suttin' hot yo, but be careful not ta burn yo ass muthafucka! And a pair of rubber gloves ta do yo' laundry n' a freshly smoked up threadz line ta hang it up ta dry-

Ash: Mom, you embarrassin me up in front of all these playas biaaatch! Don't you know I be a funky-ass big-ass kid now, biatch? Pokemon trainers can take care of theyselves.

Delia: I understand. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Hmmm, biatch? Thatz yo' Pokemon?

Pikachu: Pikachu.

Ash: Yep thatz mah Pokemon.

Pikachu: Pi.

Ash: With Pikachu at mah side I be bout ta git all tha Pokemon up in tha ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass.

Delia: I thought all Pokemon stayed inside they pokeballs, why don't dis one?

Ash: Huh, biatch? Oh yeah, right. Pikachu git up in tha bizzle now, nahmeean?

Delia: Oh you playin catch! Yo ass is playaz already!

Ash: Uh, Sure. Pikachu n' I is real pals muthafucka! Right?

Delia: But itz a lil weird.

Ash: Weird?

Prof Oak: Those rubber gloves yo' momma packed will come up in handy.

Ash: Why?

Prof Oak: Rubber don't conduct electricity.

Ash: Hooray!

Delia: Don't forget ta chizzle yo' underwear, every last muthafuckin single day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Ash: Okay

Pikachu: Pikachu.

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Ash: Pikachu, is you goin ta be like dis tha whole way?

Pikachu: Pi.

Ash: Is it cuz you don't like me son?

Pikachu: Pika, pika.

Ash: Well, I wanna take you ta Roscoe's House of Chicken and Waffles all muthafuckin day. It make me wanna hollar playa! And since you tha Pokemon I be hustlin, don't you be thinkin you could be a lil sickr n' just open yo' grill n' tell me whatz wrong?

Pikachu: Cha!

Ash: Uh, thatz not exactly what tha fuck I meant. Is yo' name all you can say?

Pikachu: Pi-ka.

Ash: Well then, you just like all Pokemon, n' you should act like one n' git inside tha Pokebizzle just like it say up in tha Pokedex.

Dexter: While bein trained a Pokemon probably stays inside its Pokeball.

Ash: Ya see?

Dexter: However there be nuff exceptions. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Some Pokemon don't give a fuck bout bein confined.

Ash: Ok then, dis ought'a make thangs mo' betta n' shiznit fo' realz. And I be bout ta git rid of these n' you can put dat on yo' toast yo. Howz that?

Pikachu: Pi.

Ash: Still not phat enough, biatch? huh, biatch? A Pidgey!

Dexter: Pidgey be a gangbangin' flyin Pokemon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch fo' realz. Among all tha flyin Pokemon it is tha gentlest n' easiest ta capture fo' realz. A slick target fo' tha beginnin Pokemon trainer ta test his Pokemon game.

Ash: This is pimped out son! Its our dirty dizzle dawwwwg! Pikachu go git dat shiznit son!

Pikachu: Chu.

Ash: Aren't you eva goin ta dig me son?

Pikachu: Chu.

Ash: But why not?

Pikachu: Pika, pika, pika, pika. Cha!

Ash: OK, I git tha message. I don't want yo' help or need dat shit. I can git dat thang all by mah dirty ass!

Ash: Alright, I pledged ta git all tha Pokemon up in tha ghetto. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Now I be locked n loaded ta take tha next step ta be tha #1 Pokemon masta playa! Trip off yo' last momentz of freedom Pidgey 'cause you mine biaaatch! Pokebizzle go! I did dat shiznit son! I blew dat shit...

Dexter:To capture a Pokemon, you probably have yo' own Pokemon battle wit tha other.

Ash: Now tha pimpin' muthafucka drops some lyrics ta mah dirty ass. But I gotta do every last muthafuckin thang mah dirty ass muthafucka! Wait, I've gots a idea. Okay. Just be on tha fuckin' down-low. Therez not a god damn thang ta be afraid of. Yea muthafucka, lil playa... Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Sorry dawg dawwwwg! What happened?

Dexter: Pidgeyz gust juice creates tornadoes, it also has a sand attack.

Ash: Sand!, biatch? Guess it aint mah dirty day. It make me wanna hollar playa! Yo dawwwwg! Git outta there!

Dexter: A forest Pokemon, Rattatta. Well shiiiit, it like cheese, nuts, fruits n' berries.

Ash: Yeah but, dis aint a gangbangin' forest, itz a open field.

Dexter: It also comes up tha fuck into fieldz ta loot chicken from STUPID travelers.

Ash: That means...I be stupid, biatch? I be bout ta git you dis time. I gots dat shiznit son! I wonder what tha fuck dat is.

Dexter: Unlike Pidgey, Spearow has a shitty attitude, it is straight-up wild n' will sometimes battle other Pokemon n' humans.

Ash: Yo, leave Pikachu alone biaaatch! It didn't throw tha rock!

Dexter: Wild Pokemon tend ta be jealouz of human trained Pokemon. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch.

Ash: Pikachu! Yo ass gots dat shiznit son! Uh oh! Uh, should we run?

Pikachu: Pikachu.

Ash: Don't worry Pikachu! No matter what tha fuck I be bout ta save you, nahmean biiiatch?

Pikachu: Pika-chu.

Ash: Don't run ahead hommie! I holla'd I be bout ta protect -ow-! Leave it ridin' solo Spearows muthafucka! Pikachu! Well, here we go...

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Misty: Yo, I gots a funky-ass bite biaaatch! Oh wow! I straight-up be thinkin dis could be a funky-ass big-ass one!

Na, its just a kid...oh, n' a Pokemon! Oh, is you aiiight?

Ash: Yeah, I be ok.

Misty: Not you, nahmean biiiatch, biatch? Look what tha fuck you've done ta dat skanky lil thang! Is it breathing?

Ash: I...I...I be thinkin so.

Misty: Well, just don't sit there, it needz a thugged-out doctor right away dawwwwg! Therez a medicinal center not too far from here Yo ass gots ta git movin now!

Ash: Yo ass mean a hospitizzle?

Misty: Yes, fo' Pokemon.

Ash: Yo ass betta tell me which way do I go?

Misty: That way.

Ash: They're comin back! RUN!

Misty: What is you bustin?

Ash: I be borrowin all dis bullshit.

Misty: Yo, thatz mah bike!

Ash: I be bout ta give it back someday.

Misty: Oh, You!

Ash: Just hang on now Pikachu! We almost there biaaatch! Pikachu!! Pikachu, dis can't...happen. I aint talkin' bout chicken n' gravy biatch. Pikachu, git inside. I know you afraid of goin up in there yo, but if you inside, maybe I can save yo thugged-out ass. Please, Pikachu, please dig me n' go inside. After dat then, afta dat just trust mah dirty ass.

Spearows, do you know I am, biatch? I be Ash from tha hood of Pallet son! I be destined ta be tha ghettoz #1 Pokemon masta n' shit. I can't be defeated by tha likez of yo thugged-out ass. I be goin ta capture n' defeat y'all. Yo ass hear me son, biatch? Go inside tha Pokeball, itz tha only way.

Come n' git me!

Pikachu: PI-KA-CHU!

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Ash: Well, we beat 'em.

Pikachu: Chu.

Ash: Whatz that?

Dexter: There is no data. There is still Pokemon yet ta be identified.