As Star Wars makes its Blu-ray debut, IGN revisits the franchise with a look at some of its universe's worst professions.

Porkins'+Gastroenterologist

Porkins'+call+sign?+Lardass.

Rebel+Pilot

Scream+all+you+want,+A-Wing+pilot.+Space+can't+hear+ya.

Death+Star+Weapons+Officer

Death+Star+HR's+biggest+workplace+offender.

Sith+Lord

Cloud+City+Ugnaughts

Ugly+little+bastards.

Stormtroopers+Pulling+Endor+Duty

Worst.+Job.+Ever?

Jabba's+Slave+Girls

Guy+Who+Came+Up+With+(Lesser-Known)+Order+65

Some might define bravery as someone who defies the odds by taking part in an insanely daring assault on a mammoth, orbiting death station, with a destructo beam that can obliterate entire planets. We define it as the poor bastard whose job it is to examine the bowels of X-wing pilot Jek Tono Porkins – a man so heinously fat that he makes us doubt the very physics of flight itself.Talk about Man vs. Food. This poor doctor must fear for his entire forearm whenever he has to probe the Sarlacc that is Porkins' strained anus.Unless your name ends with "Skywalker," "Solo," or "Antilles," it sucks to be a Rebel pilot. And if your last name happens to be "Porkins," oh then just eff your life. Chances are you'll die a fiery death battling some Imperial super-weapon or another. And while the good-looking survivors party it up with Leia and the Ewoks, you're nothing but scrap metal and space dust.A competitive salary. Good health benefits (dental and vision). Life insurance, 401k, flex spending, employee discounts… Heck, the Empire even helped pay for the Death Star Weapons Officer's relocation of him and his family from his hometown on Dantooine to… well, the Death Star.But what good is any of that, or the GED he earned on the Emperor's dime, when Death Star Weapons Officer is standing next to a huge, cancer-causing beam of planet-destroying energy? On a platform above a death chasm with no railings? Oh, and that relocation assistance for Mrs. Death Star Weapons Officer and little Sally and Bobby Death Star Weapons Officer? After the Battle of Yavin, Dantooine never looked so good.Okay, it could be argued that you will have unlimited power, can shoot lightning from your hands and choke your enemies with a thought. All rad, granted. But if you're a Sith Lord you're also pretty much saying, "I am more than happy to die a nasty death, most likely involving dismemberment... and a betrayal at the hands of my one and only coworker."We imagine these ugly little buggers are called Ugnaughts because that's the approximate sound people make when they see them for the first time. Ugnaughts are doomed to a life of obscurity in the bowels of Cloud City, with their only amusement coming by way of torturing/dismantling the occasional protocol droid who wanders through.And nothing comes between them and dipping scoundrels into carbonite chambers. These twitchy mouth-breathers treat carbonite freezing like it's a Saw trap, getting their tinglies by seeing how low the life support systems on the freezing units can go. Sure, Solo's no good to Fett dead. But to them? Dead is the only way to go. *Shakes head, lets out Chewie's roar of woe.*Stormtroopers are basically walking proton cannon fodder, but at least on most planets they can die a quick death from blaster fire of lightsaber strikes. On Endor, Stormtroopers face "death by teddy bear." And their rocks. And their log-fueled death strikes. And Speeder bike crashes. And God help you if you're pulling duty at the power station. If you get taken out by a group of Rebel scum in camo, the guys in the Break Room back aboard the Star Destroyer will never let you live it down.We'd rather get duped by Jedi Mind Tricks than take up a post on Endor.Jabba must offer an enticing signing bonus to six-breasted dancing girls, and the poor girls chained to his throne slab, because it's difficult to imagine why anyone would sign up to dance in his palace. The boss is literally a slimy slug monster, the clientele are shady at best, and one wrong move means you're Rancor food."Doesn't anyone know how much planning has to go into something like the Great Jedi Purge? You have to have meetings. You have to form committees. Someone has to choose where to eat lunch! (And not that damn Cantina again, Henderson!)"A massive assault on such a large scale takes months and months of needless bureaucracy and exhaustive preparation. Do we want to employ a 'safe' word? What kind of letterheads do we want? And how about the font? I'm thinking Papyrus. It makes the whole thing seem less sinister, don't you agree? But it's fine. I don't get any of the glory. I only gave that kick-ass Power Point presentation on how Ki-Adi-Mundi's head looks like Rancor d***. Palpatine even gave me a 'nice work, bro' head nod after it was done... But you all just go off and do the killing. I'm only the guy who coordinated the entire goddamn thing!"