When were you happiest? In the mountains.

Which living person do you most admire, and why? JM Coetzee – he writes with a simplicity which lays bare what really matters.

What is your earliest memory? The colour of my mother's dressing gown (turquoise).

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? Impatience.

What is the trait you most deplore in others? Spite.

What has been your most embarrassing moment? Publishing a poem of adolescent infatuation in my school magazine. I am still cringing now.

Property aside, what's the most expensive thing you've bought? Our honeymoon in East Africa.

What is your most treasured possession? Letters.

Where would you like to live? By a lake, somewhere in north-west America.

What would your super power be? Easy. Teleporting.

What makes you depressed? Needless conflict.

In your role as an MP, of what are you most proud? The work I do with my colleagues in Sheffield.

And least proud? I don't think any MP could have been proud at the height of the expenses scandal.

What is your favourite book? Life & Times Of Michael K, by JM Coetzee.

What do you most dislike about your appearance? My stomach. I'm of that age when a big appetite starts to show.

Who would play you in the film of your life? I'd like Henry Fonda, but he's not around, so it would be someone like Rodney from Only Fools And Horses.

What is your guiltiest pleasure? Smoking.

What is your favourite smell? The sea.

What is the worst thing anyone's said to you? "We don't know how to help" – from a hospital doctor when one of my sons was critically ill.

What do you owe your parents? Everything.

To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why? To my grandparents, because I didn't spend enough time with them when they were alive.

What do you consider your greatest achievement? Raising three sons.

Who would you invite to your dream dinner party? My brother, who lives in Vietnam, Cate Blanchett and, if you are allowed to bring people back, Johnny Cash.

What or who is the greatest love of your life? Miriam.

What does love feel like? Thrilling. It gives a purpose to life.

Which living person do you most despise, and why? I used to work with an EU bureaucrat who destroyed the careers of some good colleagues.

Which words or phrases do you most overuse? "The point is…"

What single thing would improve the quality of your life? More hours in the day.

When did you last cry, and why? Recently, listening to music in the car.

How do you relax? Walking.

How often do you have sex? Those who count clearly aren't enjoying it enough.

What is the closest you've come to death? A skiing accident. I spent three months on crutches instead.

Where would you most like to be right now? In the park with my kids and a football.

What keeps you awake at night? Miguel (my one-year-old).

What is your ambition? To change things for good.

How would you like to be remembered? As someone who didn't mind how he is remembered.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you? Look after those closest to you.

Tell us a joke. Not a joke as such, but taken from a real church paper: "This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs Brown to come forward and lay an egg on the altar..."