The UK government wants teachers to tell students that pornography gives a distorted image of sex. Is it time we started doing the same here?The UK government recently backed guidance on sex education in schools and asked that students not be stopped from watching pornography as it is unrealistic to keep them from viewing sexual images. It also suggested that pornography be included in school curriculum at the secondary level, and asked teachers to explain that it depicts a distorted image of sex and relationships.The guidance also calls for teachers to be realistic and address the issues surrounding pornography, for which, it claimed, there is widespread support from parents. But Isabella Simon, principal, Cathedral High School, says that this is not the case in India.“Parents need to be educated first to educate their kids. There have been several attempts to introduce sex education in schools, but opposition comes from parents. Most parents are conservative and feel that by talking about sex, children will lose their innocence. They remain oblivious to the fact that their kids are watching these things and getting wrong feedback,” says Isabella.Bhargavi Prajapati, mother of a pre-teen, feels that although it is important to talk about sex, there is no need to bring in pornography. “Why discuss pornography? By doing this, you may be showing it to kids who have not watched it before. There are several ways in which sex education can be taught; you don’t have to put it in their faces. By talking about porn , you are validating the practice and telling children that it’s OK to watch it. That is wrong,” says Bhargavi.So how does one broach the topic? Clinical psychologist Anuradha Arun says that having discussions about pornography must come at a much later stage. “Children must first be given basic sex education and then parents must discuss what is wrong and what is right. What we need in India is for a dialogue on sex to begin. For this, a lot of the responsibility lies with the government. It would be ideal if sex education is included in school curricula. Some guidelines have to be framed,” she says.But Isabella feels that simply relying on a government directive won’t help, as it will not apply to private schools. “Yes, sex education should be a part of the value education department, but parents need to accept the idea first. They must have one-on-one dialogue with their children. This must begin at age seven, with very basic things. Children must understand that there’s a biological aspect attached to child birth, and not keep believing things like ‘an angel came and gave me a little brother’. For this, mindsets need to change,” says Isabella.- Start the talk at a young age. Between ages five and seven, tell your child about his/her body and give proper names of body parts. It is also important todiscuss how his/her body is developing.- Don’t use any words that may indicate that sex is dirty or taboo. For instance, don’t say ‘chee’ or ‘dirty’ when referring to private parts.- As children grow older, the discussions should also progress. This way, when it comes to talking about sex to teenagers, the conversation won’t be uncomfortable.- Give straightforward answers to any questions your kids may have. Don’t beat around the bush.