Enlarge By Jessica Brandi Lifland for USA TODAY Charles Riley, 85, of Menlo Park, Calif., and daughter Frances Bright have discussed altering his habits. READING THE SIGNS READING THE SIGNS Ten signs it's time for older drivers to hand over the keys: 1.) Frequent "close calls," i.e., near crashes 2.) Dents, scrapes on the car, fences, mailboxes, garage doors, curbs, etc. 3.) Trouble judging gaps in traffic at intersections and on highway entrance/exit ramps. 4.) Other drivers honking. 5.) Getting lost. 6.) Trouble seeing the sides of the road when looking straight ahead. 7.) Slower response time; trouble moving foot from gas to brake pedal or confusing pedals. 8.) Getting distracted easily or having trouble concentrating. 9.) Difficulty turning head to check over shoulder while backing up or changing lanes. 10.) Traffic tickets or warnings by law enforcement officers in the last year or two. Source: AARP About five years ago, Frances Bright, 51, of Millbrae, Calif., and her three siblings grew concerned about their father's driving ability. He hadn't crashed or nearly crashed, but he was 80, so they started discussing the issue with him. Bright's father, Charles Riley, now 85, voluntarily changed the way he drove, driving only during daytime and staying off freeways. The conversations continue. "He's not resisting," says Bright, a graduate student at the University of California-Berkeley. "We talk in ways that are very respectful of his abilities, so there's not a sense that he feels defensive. He has a clear understanding that it's his choice." ALL CAPS:Not OK on road signs GROWING PROBLEM: Older, dangerous drivers In the meantime, Bright is exploring transportation alternatives in Menlo Park, Calif., where her parents live, in case her father has to give up the keys eventually. "We've been trying to get prepared before anything has to change," Bright says. "If you have the discussion before it's serious, it's more palatable." Bright's family faces a situation confronting a growing number of Americans as the first Baby Boomers reach retirement age: When is it time for their moms and dads to stop driving, and how should adult children approach this often difficult role reversal that seems to turn the parent-child dynamic upside down? The number of drivers 70 and older is growing rapidly, and older drivers are keeping their licenses longer and driving more, according to the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety. In 2000, about one in 10 Americans were age 70 and older; by 2040 it's expected to be one in five. The institute says older drivers have low crash rates, but crash rates and fatal crash rates per mile traveled increase starting at age 70 and rise markedly after age 80. Still, experts, such as Jake Nelson, director of traffic safety advocacy for auto club AAA, say it's not as simple as a caregiver demanding that an older relative hand over the keys to the Buick. Instead, they say, the way Bright and her family is handling it is exactly right, following several steps that can help ease the transition. Adult children or caregivers should: • Begin thoughtful, non-confrontational conversations with their parents several years before driving skills begin to deteriorate; these conversations could include agreeing on a strategy for the future. • Carefully observe the older driver and look for signs that driving skills are beginning to erode. • Thoroughly investigate transportation options so parents won't be isolated if they give up driving. • Realize that older drivers in many cases can make modifications and continue to drive. "Most often, giving up the keys is usually not the answer," Nelson says. "It's most often regulating when and where to drive. Most people can drive safely through the end of their lives." Nelson suggests adults begin the dialogue with parents "when Mom and Dad start to have conversations about retirement in general. It's a non-threatening way to have the conversation. You can talk about warning signs, what to look out for and agree on what to do if you get there." Bright says her father, a retired engineer, is "incredibly independent. He's had his own airplane, a motorcycle, a Jaguar. He's always been an amazing driver." Her mother, Frances, 80, doesn't drive. "My dad drives my mom everywhere, so it's not like one can take over for the other." She is investigating transportation services and senior programs available in Menlo Park. "If they can see there's other options available, they can feel less like they're giving up all their freedom," Bright says. It's not a misguided concern, says Elinor Ginzler, AARP's senior vice president for livable communities. People in their 70s and beyond are often reluctant to give up their car, especially when there are no practical transportation alternatives. "Cars are the symbol of independence," she says. "But for most places in the U.S., the car is way more than a symbol. It actually equals independence." "Driving is such an important issue for us as we age. It ... helps us stay connected," says Jodi Olshevski, assistant vice president and gerontologist at The Hartford insurance company, which has conducted extensive research on driving and aging over the past decade with the Massachusetts Institute of Technology AgeLab. Ginzler says that, like Riley, most older drivers "self regulate" as they age. "They are aware of their driving abilities, and they change their driving behavior," she says. They don't drive at night, on certain roads, during rush hour or bad weather, or in unfamiliar places. "They might say, 'I will make three right turns instead of one left,' which is a very safe thing to do." Olshevski says there are several options if adult children determine that parents are no longer able to drive. They can engage the family doctor in the conversation or suggest a comprehensive driving evaluation by an occupational therapist. The evaluations cost $200-$500 but are sometimes covered by insurance. "That's the most credible way to determine if a person is able to drive a vehicle," Olshevski says. "We really believe driving is about ability, not age." Guidelines: You share in the USA TODAY community, so please keep your comments smart and civil. Don't attack other readers personally, and keep your language decent. Use the "Report Abuse" button to make a difference. You share in the USA TODAY community, so please keep your comments smart and civil. Don't attack other readers personally, and keep your language decent. Use the "Report Abuse" button to make a difference. Read more