Photo: Chris Kleponis/Getty Images

President Donald Trump has an interesting relationship with the White House. Some days, he struggles to describe the building — he once famously said there “really is no name for it” — and others, he calls it “hot.” So it’s only fitting that Trump’s personalized White House tours (reportedly given to politicians, friends, and other unfortunate guests) sound truly gross and bizarre.

According to the Washington Post, when lawmakers, friends, and other guests visit Trump in the Oval Office, he will oftentimes take them on a bizarre tour of the building. Trump will reportedly smirk, and then ask if they would like to see the spots where former president Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky allegedly had sexual encounters. Per the Post:

“We’ve remodeled it since then,” he said on a tour in December, said a person with direct knowledge of the event. In a visit in 2017, Trump told a TV anchor, “I’m told this is where Bill and Monica . . .” — stopping himself from going further, according to “Team of Vipers,” a new book by former White House aide Cliff Sims that The Washington Post obtained before its publication Tuesday.

People who have gone on such tours with Trump told the Post that he would laugh and make “facial expression” while discussing Clinton and Lewinsky’s affair. Afterward, “lengthy, sometimes crass conversations,” generally follow his remarks, according to aides.

Trump also reportedly spends time on these “impromptu” tours talking about the length of the bed in the Lincoln Bedroom. (“I don’t know how he slept there. He was a really tall guy!” the president reportedly said on one tour). He also makes sure to insult former president Barack Obama during these tours — complaining, for instance, that there was once a hole in the wall of a dining room where he says Obama would watch basketball “all day.” (A former Obama White House official said there was no hole in the wall and that Obama did not watch basketball there.)

And of course, Trump also reportedly chats about the Russian investigation during the tours:

“There was no collusion,” he recently told a group of Congress members as he strolled through the residence, said a person on the tour. “It’s completely insane!”

These tours sound like a real-life version of Trump’s tweets. We’ll skip, thanks.