Of the myriad groundbreaking firsts of Donald Trump's presidency—the first billionaire president, the first reality television star president, the first admitted sexual assault-committing president, and so on and so forth—few of them are stranger than his status as the first president to have hours of radio interviews with satellite radio shock jock Howard Stern, many of which haven't been revisited since his ascendance from occasional media personality to President of the United States. The good people at the Daily Beast have been going through some of the recently-published archival recordings, a task that I sincerely hope entails hazard pay. While uncomfortable anecdotes about his sex life with Melania or his wedding night with Marla Maples seem grimly unremarkable in the context of everything else we know about the president, this fun story, which Trump shared with Stern in July 2008 while discussing his lifelong aversion to blood, is a bit... different.

Once upon a time, Trump explained matter-of-factly, he was hosting a charity ball at Mar-a-Lago at which several members of the Marine Corps were in attendance, along with a host of rich people "eager to get their picture in the Palm Beach Post," as he put it. Lo and behold, at some point during the evening, an 80-year-old man—"very wealthy," Trump adds, but also, "a lot of people didn't like him"—fell off the stage and hit his head. Trump thought the man had died. "And you know what I did?"

How do you, a functional adult with the capacity for empathy and/or human emotion writ large, react when you see someone undergoing a bona fide medical emergency? Do you instinctively go to that person? Do you render aid, even if your lack of expertise limits that task to asking if they are alright, and if they need help? Even if you know you have a strong aversion to blood, perhaps you adapt to this idiosyncrasy by calling 911, or by asking if anyone in the immediate vicinity is a physician, or other medical professional, or just a non-hemophobe who might be able to provide more efficacious assistance. These are all rational, humane responses to the situation in which Donald Trump found himself, and yet, in news that will shock you, he did not choose any of them.

I said, ‘Oh my God, that’s disgusting,’ and I turned away. I couldn’t—you know, he was right in front of me, and I turned away. I didn’t want to touch him.

As Stern and company yukked it up at this expertly-delivered punchline, Trump continued.

He’s bleeding all over the place, I felt terrible. You know, beautiful marble floor, didn’t look like it. It changed color. Became very red.

If you overheard a stranger on the bus saying these things aloud, you'd be wondering if you had stumbled upon the Law and Order: SVU set while they film the standard opening vignette that prompts a concerned bystander to summon Benson and Stabler to the scene.

And you have this poor guy, eighty years old, laying on the floor unconscious, and all the rich people are turning away. ‘Oh my God! This is terrible! This is disgusting!’ And you know, they’re turning away. Nobody wants to help the guy. His wife is screaming—she’s sitting right next to him, and she’s screaming.”

Ha-ha! An elderly person was maybe dying in front of me, and his wife was terrified and screaming, and I immediately wondered about the integrity of my flooring material! Isn't this HILARIOUS? I'm hilarious. The Marines in attendance, the president explains, swooped in quickly, forming a human stretcher to rush the victim out the room and get him badly-needed medical attention. Meanwhile, Trump adds with a delighted chuckle, he was signaling frantically for a cleaning crew.

I was saying, "Get that blood cleaned up! It’s disgusting!" The next day, I forgot to call [the man] to say is he okay!

The President of the United States seems like a very well man.

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