Today in things you thought would never happen:

Mitt Romney (yes, THAT Mitt Romney), is going to fight Evander Holyfield (yes, THAT Evander Holyfield).

As in box. With fists. For real.

The bout will take place in Salt Lake City on May 15, according to the Salt Lake Tribune.

“It will either be a very short fight, or I will be knocked unconscious,’’ Romney told the paper.

Our money is on the former. Or possibly the latter.

But there’s also a third option: no one will be harmed.

After all, the match is for charity, and Romney is likely to be protected against any significant bodily harm.