by Andrew Barisser

Lunar Real Estate purchased by soon-to-be-rich Bitcoiner

The market for land on the Moon has gotten frothy lately among soon-to-be rich Bitcoin investors. With trading volume hitting 90,000 square miles last Sunday, investment in Lunar Real Estate is hitting new highs. A lunar valley sold for 15 bitcoins that Monday, while an asteroid-battered highland traded for as much as 60 bitcoins. With Bitcoin soon to be reaching the Moon, investors are taking notice.

Bitcoin is clearly going to the Moon. The best way for an investor to position himself is to already be there when it arrives. — Portfolio Manager/CS undergrad

Trading for the most desired Lunar destinations has really heated up. High-frequency trading bots trade titles to Lunar Lands on unlicensed Chinese Exchanges under fake names with unverified accounts. Said one investor, “I built an arbitrage strategy that swaps North/South Pole Moon Contracts, using hemispherical derivatives to remain hedged. I’m considering diversifying my portfolio to options on Moonbase-4/Dogecoin futures, but we’ll see.”

Fintech startups are already assembling securities backed by Bitcoin-denominated Lunar mortgages. These will be collateralized and sold as AAA debt instruments to pension funds, old ladies living on fixed income, and Third World charities.

The as-yet-unreached Lunar Real Estate will be developed for myriad uses in the New Economy. “Bitcoin mining will be huge.” said one expert. “It’s super cold. All you send back is data.” Others plan to develop startup incubators for as-yet-undiscovered applications of Blockchain Tech. “We’ll use the blockchain to manage the airlocks in, like, a totally decentralized way.” said one aspiring entrepreneur.

Funding won’t be a problem. Bitcoin is literally going to the Moon. — Amateur Astronaut/Entrepreneur

This log-scale linear fit from 2014 proves that Bitcoin will literally reach Moon

Others worry that rising lunar prices are driving out access to altcoin holders whose coins are going anywhere but Moon. “We can’t allow Bitcoin to gentrify our nearest celestial neighbor!” Litecoin holders argued. “Where are our Moon tickets?” they asked forlornly. Concerns over Lunar gentrification are likely to rise since none of these other currencies are going to the Moon.

Meanwhile, Ethereum has issued a statement:

Our destination is no longer Moon. Vitalik changed his mind. We’re just going into deep space. Destination TBD. — Ethereum Ground Control

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