Can you remember a time when you felt good? Wouldn’t it be nice if you could feel that way all the time? You might be surprised that it has more to due with hormones than anything else. Biologically, there are 4 hormones responsible for making us feel good. When any of these hormones are released due to external stimuli, we feel great.

1 – Endorphins

2 – Dopamine

3 – Serotonin

4 – Oxytocin

Tribal Life

Imagine you lived in a time and place with none of the technology, or modern industry, that makes our life easier. You are living among a tribe of nomads struggling to survive in a hostile world. Nature is literally trying to kill you by any means possible: famine, flood, drought, harsh storms, volcanoes, wild animals, illness and disease, poisonous plants and insects, etc.

Endorphins

Your tribe is hungry. You wake up early and prepare to go on a hunt with a small pack of the strongest members. You wander aimless for miles and miles until you spot some tracts. Your friends also notice deer droppings, and some signs of partially eaten vegetation. You get excited because there is a high chance of getting some meat if you can find these deer. You follow the tracts for several more miles. You start to feel tired and exhausted. Even the smallest weight becomes heavy. Your body helps you out by releasing endorphins, which mask the pain and allow you to keep going. You start to feel good in spite of the hardships. This is what some people describe as a ‘runner’s high’. When you are engaged in any type of physical activity, endorphins help stop the pain.

Dopamine

Finally, you spot a herd of deer. You and the small pack organize yourselves and develop a plan. They will chase the deer in your direction and at the last moment you will jump out from behind the shrubs and stab one of the deer with your spear. You run behind the shrubs and prepare yourself mentally. The plan works and as you kill the prey, you feel a rush of dopamine. This hormone is highly addictive. It is designed to reinforce habits. Every time we feel like we achieved something, dopamine is released. Dopamine is also what causes many drugs, such as stimulants, to be addictive.

Serotonin

You and your small pack drag the deer back to the tribe. Suddenly, everyone comes running out to greet you with huge smiles. The tribe shouts, jumps, bangs on drums, and has a huge celebration. The children run around playing and singing songs to praise you. On the brink of starvation, you literally saved them all. Your body is flooded with serotonin. You feel on top of the world.

Oxytocin

You enjoy a feast of meat, berries, and some grains. The small pack of hunters, which helped you kill the deer, tell stories of your bravery, strength and fearlessness. All the eligible singles of the tribe want to marry you. You feel honoured and appreciated and oxytocin is released. This is known as the love hormone because it intensifies bonding with others. That night, you go to sleep feeling good and satisfied with life.

We are Missing our Tribe

Snap back to the modern world. The reason why we are so miserable today is because these four hormones are not being triggered. Instead we live in a world where we don’t trust each other and we don’t feel safe. We are competing with each other and as a result we view each other as enemies. This causes feelings of loneliness, fear, and rejection (the exact opposite of what we should feel). We are biologically engineered for tribal life, but we are missing our tribe.

To be happy we need to work hard and achieve goals, and then share the spoils with our tribe. It is not enough to give to the tribe, our tribe has to recognize and appreciate us. Even if you are an introvert (like me), you still need a tribe. We are social animals. We need a network of friends, family, and coworkers that will support us and protect us from danger. We also need to support this network.

Don’t believe me? Just ask welfare recipients how satisfying their life is. Have you ever wondered what it would feel like if you were unable to provide value to society? If we are unable to provide value to the tribe and we don’t receive appreciation for these efforts, we will be miserable.

This blog post was inspired by Simon Sinek’s work.