As usual, the media bring nothing to the table, except a chip on their shoulders and a hunger for chaos.

On Tuesday, they saw the fog of war as the perfect time for solemn pronouncements, courtesy of Iran’s state TV.

"Iran's state media is claiming that 30 U.S. soldiers have been killed in this attack. This is not confirmed, this is just coming from Iranian media. But we have just stepped over the precipice," NBC's Tehran bureau chief told viewers.

IRAN'S SUPREME LEADER CALLS MISSILE STRIKE AT BASES A 'SLAP IN THE FACE,' WARNS IT'S NOT ENOUGH

Ah, the precipice! How did that guy get that info so fast? You can't even get a box score that quickly.

Maybe that should have tipped him off.

Meanwhile, NBC invited its viewers to watch live coverage of Gen. Qassem Soleimani’s burial. I hear Michael Moore lowered his belly to half-mast.

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Over at “Morning Joe,” "all hair and no brains" tied it all back to Russia. "It would be hard to believe that Donald Trump would launch attacks into Iran without speaking first to Vladimir Putin," Joe Scarborough said.

Over at CNN, Jim Acosta said "This is a president who is impulsive and doesn't think through the implications of his actions. This could have been a massive catastrophe of proportions that we just can't fully appreciate."

Nothing changes. He's like a stopped clock with Brylcreem.

That’s the media, always missing the big picture, preferring a story that matches the voices in their heads. Saying, "Hey guys, seems a little early to call this World War III" only angers the Jeff Zuckers of the world, who count on chaos to make bank.

Just ask the Covington kid. Even after that lesson, they can’t stop.

Look, I ain't saying this isn't serious, but all the sweaty hysterics come off as wishful thinking. Can you just dial it back a little? Especially when you're always wrong?

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Maybe reporters are right. We are on the "precipice," but of peace, not war.

Tuesday evening was just another chance to scare the crap out of us. For the media in the Trump era, the apocalypse is every day that ends in “Y.”

Adapted from Greg Gutfeld’s monologue on “The Five” on Jan. 8, 2020.

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