Pirate Movie Mistakes

Six Things Movies Always Get Wrong About Pirates

Go ahead, watch the Pirates of the Caribbean films, dig Johnny Depp’s Keith Richard impression, watch all the guys go “Arrgh!” You still won’t know a thing about how pirates really operated. Real pirates were better than in movies, more daring and terrifying and cunning than any screenwriter could imagine. They operated during the Golden Age of Piracy, from 1650 to 1720.

For my new book “Pirate Hunters” I follow John Chatterton and John Mattera, two world-class scuba divers, who teach themselves to think and act as pirates while searching for what would be only the second pirate ship ever found and positively identified.

The more I learned about pirates, the more fascinating I found their portrayal in Hollywood films and popular culture. Some things the movies depicted were true, others were fantasy, and still others were rarely shown.



1. Pirates didn’t make prisoners walk the plank.

2. Pirates never buried treasure or made maps leading to it

3. Pirates never said “Arrgh” or “Shiver my timbers”

Forcing a man to walk the plank required more effort – and drama - than was necessary. To kill someone, it was easier for the pirates to hack him with a sword or shoot him with a pistol, then dump his body overboard – no muss, no fuss, no bother. In the world of pirates, simple almost always worked better.They spent their money, often as fast as they could steal it, as if any night might be their last. “Whenever they have got hold of something, they don’t keep it for long,” wrote one contemporary observer. “They are busy dicing, whoring and drinking so long as they have anything to spend. Some of them will get through a good two or three thousand pieces of eight in a day—and next day not have a shirt to their back.”The pirate dialogue you know comes from Hollywood movies. Real pirates did, however, use terms and phrases such as “Ahoy” and “A merry life and a short one.” And they were masters at swearing and “vile oaths,” including these favorites:

—Eat what falls from my tail!

—Damn your blood!

—I’ll cleave your skull asunder!

—I’ll cut you in pound pieces!

—I come from hell and I’ll carry you there presently!



4. There were black pirates

5. Pirates didn’t sail with women

6. Pirates didn’t like violence

Pirates sailed with black crewmen during the Golden Age of Piracy. In fact, black sailors sometimes comprised a large minority of men onboard. Their status, however, depended on the time. Early in the Golden Age, black men aboard pirate ships were more likely to be slaves—either working as such, or as prisoners captured from ships and to be traded at market. Later in the era, however, many black men aboard pirate ships—perhaps even most of them—were full-fledged pirates, with all the rights and privileges of their white counterparts. They led charges into combat, earned equal pay, stood side by side with Blackbeard himself during battle—all 150 years before slaves became free in the United States.For all the racial equality, pirates almost never sailed with women. Just four or five are known to have worked as pirates during the Golden Age. Two of them—Mary Read and Anne Bonny—became famous, dressing as men and fighting alongside one of the most celebrated of all pirate captains, “Calico” Jack Rackham. Almost without exception, pirates viewed the presence of women aboard their ships as a distraction and a potential source of conflict and jealousy. On some pirate ships, the penalty for secreting a woman aboard was death.Pirates worked to avoid violence and fighting. It wasn’t because they were frightened (they weren’t) or believed they couldn’t win (they almost always had bigger crews, stronger fighters, and better weapons than their prey). It was because bloodshed was bad for business. A battle at sea could result in casualties, ruin plunder, even cost the pirates their own ship. It also attracted the attention of the law. To steal quietly always paid best.

Most pirate victims understood with whom they were dealing and gave up on the spot. For their cooperation, they often were treated fairly, even generously. But there were also those who, for money or principle or pride, tried to flee or put up a fight. That’s when the pirates rained down their particular brand of terror, one designed to echo across oceans.

By squeezing a man’s eyes from its sockets, roasting him on a baking stone, or extracting and eating his still-beating heart, pirates did more than punish resistors or force them to turn over hidden booty. They also sent a message to the rest of the world: Do not struggle against us. We are crazy. It always ends better if you just go along. To guarantee they were heard, they often spared a lucky few, sending them home to spread the terrible word.

Not every pirate captain tortured or punished resistors so cruelly. But enough of them did it enough of the time that by the seventeenth century, the only weapon a pirate often needed was the design sewn into his flag. Unmistakable even at great distances, it announced not a fait accompli, but that a choice was at hand.

Robert Kurson is an American author, best known for his 2004 bestselling book, “Shadow Divers”, the true story of two Americans who discover a World War II German U-boat sunk 60 miles off the coast of New Jersey. His most recent book “Pirate Hunters” is now available.