No Male, No Female: Canadian Baby First with a 'U' on Birth Certificate

Editor's note: The poor child featured in this story is referred to below by masculine pronouns – not because we have information as to his gender, but as a grammatical convention called the gender-neutral "he," sometimes used outside insane liberal enclaves for gender-ambiguous singular nouns like "someone" and "everyone." The tired, inaccurate, and overused dismissal hurled at theists by the liberal elite is "there is no God because science." The hilarious irony is the inconsistency they utilize in weighing their own beliefs and decisions against "science." So long as they can use "science" to absolve themselves from accountability to absolutes (read: God), it is their friend, but shame on anyone who challenges any of their more radical beliefs on scientific grounds.

Those medical experts who claim that gender is binary? Well, they are nothing more than bigots trying to hinder human flourishing. Science is useful only when it serves the purpose of silencing those outdated enough to oppose "progress." Marching at the head of the Progress Parade is a Canadian creature who goes by the name of Kori Doty. And the creature has just given birth to the future – a child who, after a brief dispute, is the first to have a "U" on his birth certificate where others have been confined to the outdated norm of "F" and "M." The "U," of course, is for "unassigned" or "undetermined." At War with Gravity In other words, when people asked Kori (who is a tertium quid, identifying as neither male nor female), "Do you know if you're having a girl or a boy?" the response was, "I'm waiting until it is old enough to decide for itself." The real head-scratcher is why Kori would allow "themself" (the pronoun of choice for those at war with, among other things, the outdated norms of binary genders, hereafter avoided) to be so closed-minded and limited. Has she not thought through the ramifications of labeling her offspring a person? Why is she limiting the generation that will inherit the future to the category of human? Why not label her child a creature? Or better yet, a "being"? What if he grows up and decides he wants to identify as a yeti or a demogorgon, or some other fictitious creature? Who is Kori to tell her child that he must be human? Why stop there? So long as we're freeing ourselves from the limitations of reality, what if the child decides he wants to be an inanimate object, like a slab of stone or the lost Ark of the Covenant? I know, I know: this is too radical. The world is not ready for this type of progress quite yet. By proposing these outlandish ideas, I'm likely to get stoned. Let's start off small and try to wrap our heads around Doty's small step toward "progress." Her aim: to remove gender from birth certificates, or at the very least give a third option. As for me, it might be a while before I can legally identify as rubber. But as soon as I can, watch out, world, 'cause every stone you throw at me will bounce right back at you! The Fight for Freedom to Be "Other" Call me old-fashioned, but I tend to think this sort of silliness is better left to the world of science fiction. The true victim here is Kori's poor child, who gets the pleasure of being the subject of a ridiculous social experiment. Doty is seeking to make history by fighting for the right to free our children from the outdated norms of being labeled male or female at birth. It is a difficult and unnecessary process, Doty argues, to attempt to change one's gender at a later time in life. Then again, the denial of reality is always a difficult process. The man who identifies as a butterfly finds that out every time he jumps from the roof of his garage only to land on the cold, hard, familiar blacktop once again. Reality is so unforgiving to those who wish to live a fairy tale. Kori is trying to remove any reference to gender from her own birth certificate as well. Should Kori fail, she'll sleep better at night knowing that if not for her, at least her child and the next generation will be freed from the constraints of having to identify as a male or female (so long as he can avoid the pesky reminder between his legs). Doty reminds us that it is discriminatory to assume that because someone has a penis or a vagina, that person is either a male or a female. Gender is a figment of the imagination to those who live in reality, and they must not assault those who live in alternate realities with their bigotries. If Doty has her way, the government will not be able to determine what gender is "true" by labeling it as such on a birth certificate. What business does the government (or God, for that matter) have in determining truth? If the government tells me I ran a red light and caused a fifty-car pile-up and shows me surveillance footage to back it up, that's just the government's opinion, right? I don't live on this planet and won't be subject to its restrictions. Here's to the future, where we will no longer be confined by the scientific norms entrusted to us by our Creator that remind us we are dependent upon him (or is it they/them/their?) for our gender or species. But what do I know? I'm just an anti-scientific Christian who still believes in reality. Maybe in the future, my children will choose to identify as kettles. If Kori's successful in her endeavors, you'd better believe there won't be anyone there to call them black. Sean Nolan is a husband, father, pastor, and former schoolteacher. You can follow him on Twitter at @SeanNolan or check out his blog (www.familylifepastor.org).