Despite getting tagged in the article, I didn’t want to respond. Punching down is beneath me. But then I stumbled across this ugly little excerpt and felt like I had to say something. It’s not every day you get called a “traitorous queer.” Here it is.

For those of you who didn’t read Lauren Theisen’s hit piece on conservative members of the LGBT community (all of you), don’t waste your time. In short, she’s upset that a man named Chad Felix Greene wrote a piece saying that the stigma against his conservative political views is worse that the stigma he gets for being gay. Personally, I don’t like to take the views of one person and apply them to an entire community, but apparently Lauren does. Which I’m assuming is why the title of her article calls on all conservative LGBT people to “shut the fuck up.”

A much more boring example of queer identity allowing other kinds of discrimination and harassment comes in the form of Barstool Sports writer “Gay Pat,” who gets performatively heated about the use of the word “faggot” in some dumb but pretty obviously not-homophobic jokes from seven years ago, but apparently doesn’t give two shits about his complicity in his boss’s ongoing harassment campaigns against women in sports media. “(Journalist Robert Silverman) has called us homophobic. Ask Gay Pat about that,” Barstool founder Dave Portnoy wrote this year after being asked for comment on a story by The Daily Beast. Traitorous queers like Pat are the people who help their buddies get away with heinous misdeeds—these awful men couldn’t possibly be bigoted in any way if one of their pals is a real live “gayball.”

(Keep in mind, this paragraph comes directly after she called someone out for being a “prominent right-wing fag”)

Newsflash babe, I don’t “allow discrimination” and I don’t get “performatively heated” over anything other than Shawn Mendes performing in the rain.

What I do do is not take life too seriously. I understand that different people have different opinions. I don’t force my beliefs down others’ throats and I understand that sometimes calling someone out does more harm than good. I don’t have to act a certain way or inject myself into every conversation that I don’t agree with.

As far as my, “complicity in my boss’s ongoing harassment campaigns against women in sports media” goes, I have nothing to say other than this is the same tired argument we’ve heard time and again from the attention-starved writers at Deadspin trying to hang onto whatever thread of relevancy they have left. (In this case, none.)

The fact that you think I “allow” my buddies to get away with “heinous misdeeds” proves that you have no idea what you’re talking about. I don’t know what kind of people you’re hanging out with, but my friends and coworkers aren’t bigoted dickheads who spew hatred. They’re good people who treat me with respect. If I had a problem with any of them, I’d say something to their face. Not online like a coward. You should give it a try.

So why don’t you stop trying to drive a wedge between the LGBT community and do something positive to build it up. But what do I know? I’m just a guy who quietly engages with his LGBT followers in a positive manner and encourages them to be themselves. Even if I don’t agree with their politics.

Not to rub it in your face, Lauren, but here are a few examples of people who decided to reach out to this “traitorous queer” for advice.

If you have anything else to say, call me up tomorrow morning on Barstool Breakfast, 7-9AM 833-857-8665. That’s 833-85-STOOL. Other than that, take your own advice: shut the fuck up, and keep my name out yo mouth.