The new, recharged, and improved Mitt Romney 2.0 continues its once-stunted attempt at world domination by employing his sinister Likability Capsule (Apology Quadrant).

In an interview with Fox News last night, New Mitt, or “Nitt,” walked back his 47 percent remarks more unequivocally than he has in the past: “Well, clearly in a campaign, with hundreds if not thousands of speeches and question-and-answer sessions, now and then you’re going to say something that doesn’t come out right. In this case, I said something that’s just completely wrong. And I absolutely believe, however, that my life has shown that I care about 100 percent and that’s been demonstrated throughout my life. And this whole campaign is about the 100 percent.” And the question from Fox News that prompted Romney to proffer the apology: what would you have said if Obama mentioned 47 percent in the debate?

A-hah! So this is why Barack Obama didn’t bring up L’Affaire Mère Jones on Wednesday evening! (Well done, New York Magazine and certain Timesmen on Twitter, who guessed this might have been the reason.) Other explanations: President Obama won’t deign to act like a candidate, President Obama listened to Nick Drake all day Wednesday, President Obama was binge-eating spoonfuls of peanut butter throughout the debate and literally could not say much of anything.