SUVs are usually regarded as safer than small cars. However, “most of the small SUVs tested for safety in crashes did not fare well in more stringent tests” performed by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS), Reuters says.

“US small SUVs scored badly,” writes the wire. Top honors took a trucklet that, according to the Urban Dictionary, is “driven by post-menopausal lesbians:” The Subaru Forester.

IIHS Small SUV Crash Ratings Make, model Moderate overlap front Side impact Rollover Rear Small overlap front 2014 Subaru Forester G G G G G 2013 Mitsubishi Outlander Sport G G G G A 2013 BMW X1 G G G G M 2013 Honda CR-V G G G G M 2013 Volkswagen Tiguan G G G G M 2013 Buick Encore G G G G P 2013 Ford Escape G G G G P 2013 Hyundai Tucson G G G G P 2013-14 Jeep Patriot G G G G P 2013 Kia Sportage G G G G P 2013-14 Mazda CX-5 G G G G M 2013 Toyota RAV4 G G G G NA 2013 Nissan Rogue G G A G M 2013 Mitsubishi Outlander G G A A NA 2013 Suzuki Grand Vitara G A A M NA 2013 Jeep Wrangler 2 door G P NA M M

The Forester is the only small SUV that received a “good” rating in the newly added Small Front Overlap Test. The Mitsubishi Outlander Sport received an “acceptable” rating on the overlap test, and made second. The Forester and the Outlander were the only small SUVs to be awarded the IHS “Top Safety Pick+.”

The best-rated Detroit trucklet is the Buick Encore on place 6 with a poor Small Overlap rating. The Jeep Wrangler brings up the rear with a truly mediocre showing. Boo, hiss, Detroit – pussy-whipped by a Japanese transgender crossover that is also known as a “vag-wag?”

PS: Before you start to tar and feather me for Detroit bashing LGBT discrimination, please be notified that according to the all-knowing Wikipedia, the term “dyke” originated “as a derogatory label for a masculine woman, and this usage still exists.” Shame on them. “However, some persons attempt to use it in a manner that they see as positive, or as a neutral synonym for lesbian,” and those persons include the Schmitts.