COPING? The Christchurch test was being used as a guinea pig for next year's World Cup tournament to see whether the local facilities could cope with a major international event.

Remember the classic ship scene from the Marx Brothers' A Night at the Opera when everyone pours into Otis B Driftwood's stateroom?

As the three Marx Brothers are surrounded by manicurists, ship engineers and finally waiters carrying plates of food, Groucho exclaims: ''Is it my imagination, or is it getting crowded in here?''

That moment was re-enacted on Saturday night in Christchurch. But this time it wasn't funny. All week we'd been hearing about how the Christchurch test was being used as a guinea pig for next year's World Cup tournament to see whether the local facilities could cope with a major international event. The Wallabies travelled via Auckland to check if the Customs facilities would be efficient enough for the visiting teams.

Good to hear, as the Auckland arrivals area can be a debacle. Sure, New Zealanders are proud they are a wool nation, but it doesn't mean tourists have to be herded into a sheep pen. If you can get through the baggage area in less than half an hour, think yourself lucky. And then you have to confront the nightmare of travelling into Auckland where a highway suddenly dissolves into a one-lane suburban street, prompting delays and further frustration.

Can't wait for World Cup finals time in Auckland, especially as the locals are already whingeing that getting to and from Eden Park is as easy as escaping Alcatraz.

Surely it would be better in Christchurch? No. All week we heard taxi drivers complaining about how they had turned the area around AMI Stadium into a ''no go'' zone. The international media were supposedly in luck. They were provided with a bus that would take them straight to the ground. A bus breakdown on the way to the stadium on test night can be forgiven; not so the disgraceful media facilities.

The press box was slightly bigger than a broom cupboard. Journalists were forced to scramble over each other to get to their cramped seats. One Australian journalist's view was completely obliterated by a double window frame. He knew exactly how Otis B Driftwood felt.

All this came after we had to storm-troop our way in, as there was only one lift operating, followed by a 40-metre bottleneck into the corporate area while one official demanded that they look at everyone's pass. Kick-off was just minutes away. And don't ask us about the celebrations when the All Blacks won the Bledisloe Cup. We couldn't see a thing - as the spectators in front of the glass stood up en masse, obliterating any view of the ground.

No doubt this bleat will bring out all the members of the New Zealand Flat Earth Society, complaining of unfair Kiwi bashing. So I write this with hand on heart. New Zealand is one of my favourite countries. It is a beautiful, spectacular nation, and you cannot find more hospitable people. My family spent two memorable weeks last January travelling around the South Island in a camper van. And that's just one of many great trips to the Shaky Isles.

But a constant irritant is that New Zealand is the ''gunna'' country. They're gunna do this. They're gunna do that. They were doing it straight after being granted the World Cup. Politicians and officials were promising they would dramatically improve facilities, particularly accommodation, so visitors wouldn't have to sleep on park benches. What has happened? Not much.

Now they're saying fans will be berthed on ships, anchored offshore. Are they kidding? No wonder, when confronted by the exorbitant prices asked by the few hotels that have any rooms left, so many Australians believe it will be wiser to just travel over on game day, and take a flight home that night. New Zealand is better than this. We can only hope those who can make something change over the next 13 months get off their butts and sort it out.