WESTERICHMOND, Va. — The land of WesteRichmond has long been a field of battle for numerous great grocer houses, its citizens watching as contenders rise and retreat from the arena. Many remember when the first volleys of arrows were loosed between House Kroger and House Martin’s. For long years their shared Cary Street border ran red with the blood of those who could not choose betwixt them.

It is in this summer month that House Martin’s will breathe its last breath and utterly collapse as they vacate nearly all of their fortresses within the Virginia Kingdom. They will be remembered.

Easy to think, then, that this would now usher this land into an age where House Kroger sits firmly on the twisted Shopping Cart Throne, but foreign forces knock at the automated sliding glass doors.

Carried by 18-wheeled war carriages a new house rises, marauding up the roads from the south.

House Publix, long-strong in the lost lands below WesteRichmond, now enters into our midst. This is merely a scouting force, taking hold in the fallen castles of House Martin’s. House Kroger would have been wise to raze these forts when they had the chance, as what were once monuments of emphatic victory have now become the footholds of new enemies.

No doubt Lord Ukrop’s the Elder snickers from his seat in Castle Quirk.

Still crouched in the shadows are the forces of House Aldi. Shielded by their bizarre emblems and their border patrolled by En’Su’Bocan mercenaries, they sit well-protected. It remains to be seen if they will ally with either of the greater houses in the coming conflict, or perhaps they are eager to wait for the victor with a subtle blade. For now they seem content enough to drain the life from those less fortunate nobles seated in House Walmart.

The people of these lands brace themselves for the coming storm. Allegiances will be tested against the hard metal of discounts and rewards programs. Claims will be slung of whose fields hold the freshest fruit or whose cellars are more diversely stocked with ales and organics.

The best we can do is stand fast with those houses who have been true to us in the past and hope the game of grocers is settled quickly.