Upload Date: 2/3/2018

Forgive Me [Arc3] ~ Remake

Chapter 1: When you break

It was early in the morning, the suns rays were weak as they descend to the stone pathway. This place wasn't a place you would be familiar with, in fact, this is a whole different world. The pathway stretched towards an old ruin.

Two people ran across the streets, one was trying to catch the other as he ran away. They ran and ran until they had reached atop an old ruin.

The boy was panting as he tried to catch his breath, his face was filled with remorse, guilt, anger, fear, sadness, and many more complex emotion.

The girl behind him just looked at him worriedly and confused, she was much less tired, it seems.

"S-Subar-"

"ARGHH! I can't take it anymore!"

The girl tried to call out to him but he screamed out frustratedly, making her jump back.

"Rem... I'm leaving..." he said.

This boy, he came from another world, a world unknown to anyone here. With his arrival in this world, he was given a power, a power that allows him to Return by death. His name was Natsuki Subaru.

"Subaru-kun?"

The other person called out, her voice was sweet and had a worrying tone, slightly confused at what he had said. This girl was wearing a maids outfit, she had short light blue hair that concealed her right eye. Her name was Rem, she was a maid of the Roswaal Mansion, she also happens to be an oni.

"I said I'm leaving!"

Subaru repeated his words but in a more serious tone.

"But... why?" Rem asked, confused about what he meant.

She then lets out a gasp. "D-Did Rem upset Subaru-kun in someway! Subaru-kun? Please, tell Rem if she did something wrong, Rem will make it up to you, Rem will do anything!"

Hearing her words of apology he stood up shaking his head, he still faced away from her, whenever he saw her, memories of the past loop haunted him, Rem's dead body laying on the ground.

"Its all my fault..." He muttered out almost inaudibly. "Its all because of me, because I couldn't god damn do anything!"

"Subaru-kun... Rem doesn't understand, Subaru-kun hasn't done anything wrong!"

Just hearing her voice, it struck his heart with uncomfortable pain, it was soothing yet it stung sharply. He just wanted it all to end, but he couldn't stop it from happening.

"All the bad things that happened, Its all my fault, I know it is... So... if I leave the rest of you can be safe"

The White Whale it attacked us because it was attracted to me, the witch cultist, they attacked us because I had the witch's scent. The puppy in the village, it probably came because of my sudden appearance. All of it, it was because of me... It's all my fault.

"No... Subaru-kun, please don't" Still not understanding what he was trying to say, she denies his wish to let it all go.

"I have to, there's no other choice."

"There has to be, please don't leave... please don't leave Rem."

He had one plan in mind, but that would be risking too much, he could go to the mansion now and evacuate everyone, but that would mean risking Rem's life, it was something he absolutely couldn't do.

"I don't want to see anyone else suffer because of my powerlessness..."

"Then let Rem help!" She stubbornly refuses to let him go. "No!" he suddenly raised his voice and glares at her.

"B-But Rem... has to go with you"

"There's no point in you following me, you have your sister back at the mansion, I'm just a nuisance..."

The thought of Rem running away with him surfaced his mind for a while, but he couldn't possibly bring himself let it happen, with his ever-increasing scent, danger would be looming on every corner and knowing how Rem is, she would go to extreme lengths to keep any and all danger away, even if it meant death.

"I don't plan on coming back anytime soon, so you won't be able to see Ram so just stay... but why?"

"Subaru-kun?"

"Why the hell do you want to come with me? With a bag of trash... I've just been a burden to you, to Ram, to Emilia."

"No, you have-"

"Yes, I have! You never needed me in the mansion, all I did was distract you and Ram from your work"

"But..."

"Because of me, Emilia was humiliated during the meeting for the Royal Selection!"

"Subaru-kun..."

"I got into a fight with the god damn Knight of Knights, and got beaten mercilessly, it's miserable! Do you know how bad that made Emilia look? After I ranted about being her 'Knight'!? I'm hopeless, disgusting, shame-filled!"

He went back at the thought of the massacred village, and it filled him with despair.

"So why? Why do you want to follow me, TELL ME WHY!?"

.

.

.

"Just god damn tell me!"

.

.

.

.

"Is it because Roswaal told you to!"

.

.

.

"It is, isn't it..."

.

.

.

"No... that's not why"

"Then why?!"

"Its... because... Rem cannot bear the thought of Subaru-kun in danger... if Subaru-kun goes alone, he will surely perish, Rem doesn't want that"

He let out a sigh, "That's the point... I'm leaving so everything comes to me instead of you, the witch's scent is a curse and I'm gonna use it to my advantage..." Subaru refuses her reason and begins to walk away, slowly.

"No... Subaru-kun..." she starts to follow him, but he abruptly stops and faces her again.

"Just go back, Emilia doesn't need me, no one needs me, I cant do anything, I'll only cause problems, make sure to tell Emilia I'm sorry for the ruckus"

"But... what about Rem, Rem needs you!"

He stops, but without turning he says "No, you don't." Hearing his sharp words she was left speechless, what he said, it was like a rock was hurled towards her and struck her chest.

Seeing that he was slowly starting to walk away again, she stuttered, "Y-Yes, I do!"

"Why, so you and Nee-sama won't have to do as much work! Give me a break..."

"No...! Rem needs you because..."

.

.

.

"BECAUSE REM LOVES YOU"

"..."

He had already predicted what she wanted to say, even so, he was left speechless, not because of the statement, in particular, it was the memory that clouded his mind.

'Live... I... love... you...'

Those were the words she said as she clung loosely to him, the image of her limbs getting twisted, her bloodied body struggling to reach him as she dragged herself on the cave floor. He blamed himself for it all, he blamed it for his powerlessness, he watched and did nothing.

Suddenly, he fell to his knees and screamed at the floor.

Rem was shocked but didn't move from her position, she shut her eyes until she heard a faint noise.

"No..." He mumbles out, Rem's head perked up.

"Why" he chokes out, this was drowned by his emotions, it was barely audible but, Rem was able to hear it. "I'm nothing"

"No... Subaru-kun..."

"There is nothing to love about me... a person like me doesn't deserve to be loved..."

"NO! That's wrong"

She raised her voice as she shouts at him, that made his heart hurt, he knows too well that he is incapable of doing anything, and he accepts that, He's just a shut-in NEET who's all talk. But why, why would Rem not accept it.

"Then what! What is there to love, my powerlessness, my foolishness!"

He spits out those words, his voice slowly grew bitter, Rem flinches at his bitterness.

"Subaru-kun might be weak and foolish at times... but despite that, he tries his best to help everyone, even if it cost his own life"

"...h"

"When we were in the forest, you risked your life so Rem and Nee-sama can escape"

"H... if Roswall wasn't there..."

"If Subaru-kun wasn't in the forest Rem and Nee-sama wouldn't have survived"

"But you went in because of..."

He blamed it all on himself, it was him that caused the problem, he doesn't want to be praised because of it.

"When we were fleeing with that girl, Subaru-kun risked his life to save Rem"

"But..."

"And when Subaru-kun woke up, he was happy Rem was safe, he didn't care about his injuries, and he told Rem things that Rem wanted to hear the most"

"I... no..."

"Subaru-kun melted Rems frozen heart, the one that was frozen during the fiery night when Rem had lost almost everything"

"H... a... n-"

He knew he was utterly worthless, so he kept refusing her words.

"And that's why I love Subaru-kun"

They stayed in silence for a few minutes,

"But I'm useless, I'm worthless, I hate myself"

"No matter, ill still love Subaru-kun"

"But you'll get killed because of me"

"Still..."

"But why..." his voice grew weak.

"Because you're my hero Subaru-kun"

He had enough, he didn't want to risk her life for his own well-being, he had to make her go back. She held her hand out to him.

He grabbed her hand, and placed it on her chest, he gave her a pleading look, "Then let your hero do his job..."

"But..."

"If you love me, go back to the mansion... and live..."

"But if Rem leaves, Rem may never see Subaru-kun ever again"

"I may not come back, that's true... but It doesn't matter"

"But..."

"GO NOW" His voice then became hoarse. He lifts himself off the ground, still facing the other way.

"If... if you say so... Subaru-kun..."

With that Rem starts to walk down the stairs, Subaru couldn't see it but he knew Rem was crying, he could hear faint sobs from her direction. Her heart was probably broken. He heard one last thing before she left.

"Rem... Rem is sorry she was too weak to help you."

As the footsteps grew distant, he felt a sudden sting in his heart, he could feel a shadowy presence behind him. "Don't even think about it..."

Pain suddenly grappled his heart as he heard a muffled voice whisper something to him, he couldn't tell if it was male or female, it sounded, distorted. He still felt the presence behind him, but when he turned back he saw no one.

He was breathing heavily, his heart didn't feel right, it was beating at an alarming rate, it hurt, a lot.

"What... why... I didn't say anything, so why..."

Despite him not saying the cursed phrases, his heart was still crushed.

He looked down at his chest, to his surprise he didn't see them, the hands that would normally break his heart weren't there, he was shocked.

"If they didn't come to grab me, then why does it hurt"

Subaru was still on top of the old ruins.

He felt pain but this wasn't the same pain he would feel when the hands went for him. It didn't hurt as much as it usually would, it felt... self-induced. It was as if his mind was trying to tell him something...

"Don't you run, not yet!"

"Gahh..." His chest still pained, his body was shivering, whoever that voice belonged to, they weren't going to let him run away and leave everyone to die.

"GRAH-!" He screamed out, the pain shifted to his head, he fell to the ground, clutching his head, the mysterious presence was no longer there but he still felt eyes watching him.

The pain slowly subsided. He got up and looked around, there didn't seem to be anyone around there was no place to effectively hide here.

"What the hell was that..."

She ran through the bustling city, it was rather crowded for early in the morning, though it did help conceal the teardrops forming on the corner of her eyes.

"I'm sorry I'm weak..." That was the last thing she said before she left. Subaru has given up on everything he had, to keep her and the others away from danger. Though as absurd as it sounds, it's a totally solid idea.

At this point, she wasn't sure if he gave up, or if he's trying his best, though she wanted to believe it was the latter. Her tears grew bigger, but she held them back, she must believe.

"Subaru-kun... Subaru-kun will come back, Rem just has to believe..." She mutters as she continues to run, her destination was the Kartsen household.

She was supposed to stay there for a whole week as she was tasked with monitoring Subaru's health while he gets healed, but now, Subaru is gone, due to her task, she has to go and follow but he said otherwise, thus, there is no other option but to return to Roswaal's mansion.

.

She has arrived at the gate of the mansion, she had wiped off her tears and she was greeted by a familiar cat-lady, or what seems like one.

"Aahh, Rem-chan, your back nyan... eeh, where is Subaru-kyun?"

This was Felix Argyle, Crusch Kartsen's Knight. He was wearing a blue dress with ribbons, he short flax hair and cat ears sticking out the sides of his head. Despite his appearance, he's actually a fully-fledged male.

"Uhm..." Just hearing Felix say his name weakened her heart, but she put up a strong front and explains "Subaru-kun... there have been some... problems and he is not going to return for any further gate healing..."

"Nya? What happened?"

"Well, he said he was leaving..."

The weakness in her voice was apparent and her wavering eyes made it obvious, whatever the reason, it didn't seem like she was taking Subaru's departure very well.

"Very well, Ferri-chan will inform Crusch-sama immediately" She nods and follows Felix into the mansion.

They approached a large door, it was the door to Crusch's office, Felix knocks and calls out. "Crusch-sama, Rem-chan has something she needs to discuss"

"You may enter" A voice calls back from the door.

They entered the room, at the far end, there sat a woman, she had long green hair, her amber eyes pierced across the room, she wore proper business attire and had an air of importance around her. Her name was Crusch Kartsen, she was the owner of the mansion and was a candidate for the next king of Lugunica.

Beside her was an older man, grey hair, and sharp eyes, he wore a butler uniform and has an intimidating though calm look. This was Wilhelm Trias, a man that took interest in Subaru and had helped with his swordsmanship, his mentor.

"Hello, Rem... Oh, Subaru isn't with you?"

"Rem is afraid so. That is what Rem wanted to discuss with Crusch-sama"

Rem's face saddens, as she answered Crusch. She caught a glance and can tell that something is wrong, terribly wrong.

"I see, well did something happen to him, it would greatly concern us if something did, we are in a contract after all"

"Rem fears Subaru-kun... will not be coming back for his gate healing" This shook her a bit, but her face didn't show it. Wilhelm also seemed a bit surprised.

"Oh, and may I ask why is that?"

"Subaru-kun... said that... he is leaving" she struggles to keep her voice intact as she explains the situation to Crusch. She was clearly holding back her emotions.

"It couldn't be due to shame could it..." She muttered inaudibly.

"Rem is not completely sure why... but he fears something would happen if he returns to the mansion..."

"Interesting... is Subaru by chance being targeted by someone?"

"Subaru-kun has had an encounter with the infamous Gut hunter, Elsa Grienhardt, it was last month... but Rem doesn't think that is what he is afraid of..."

Rem's face suddenly got serious, "Subaru-kun... has the scent of the witch" her voice had been laced with a hint of anger, it wasn't directed to Subaru, it was to the witch.

"..."

Silence filled the room.

"He is not sure why but sometime during his life he has been cursed by something, and suddenly, this morning it had increased in concentration... he fears that if he returned in that state..."

"He would be leaving breadcrumbs for the Witch Cult to attack, and since the participation of the silver-haired half-elf, Emilia has been made public, it only makes it more likely to happen..." Crusch completes her sentence with an understanding nod.

"Yes, that is what Rem thinks as well."

That's what they ended up with, Subaru had left because if he were present, the Witch-cult would come out. It made sense, completely.

"I understand, that would be the wiser choice... so Rem, what will you do now?" Crusch asks her.

She hadn't thought about it but it was clear what she must do,"Rem must report back to Master Roswaal and relay the news to Emilia-sama"

"I see, so when would you like to leave?"

"Um..."

She didn't want to leave so soon, she wanted to see Subaru one more time, but he probably left already, she could try to find him via the witches sent, but that might anger him, she didn't want Subaru to get mad at her, so...

"As soon as possible..."

"Alright then, we'll have a carriage prepared for you right away"

"Thank you." Their conversation ended as she bowed and left the office. She headed over to her room. She starts packing all her things and sits on the bed, tears were streaming down her cheeks as she.

"Subaru-kun... please... come back..." her voice was shaky, any who heard it would definitely feel sad, no matter how carefree the person was.

Her hurt filled voice lingered through the door, Felix, who was passing by, couldn't help but stop in silence as he looked down, "Subaru-kyun, your such a weakling... can't even stop Rem-chan from crying..." he whispers to no one in particular.

He clutched both his head and heart, both throbbing hard, it was an unnatural pain, not physical, not mental either. This pain was... almost imaginary, it felt like it was not hitting his body, rather, it hurt his soul.

"Was that guilt just now..." It was surprisingly a reasonable explanation but it wouldn't explain the presence he felt earlier, was it the witch? There was no apparent reason for her to appear, and the pain was slightly different from the normal.

Well it didn't really matter at the moment, he had other things to do, and it seems like no matter what he did, he had to fight, he couldn't just stay still and wait for results.

The sudden pain had snapped him from his traumatized state, now he could think properly, of all the attempts he had so far, the ones where he was able to reach the mansion, Rem was able to survive up till then, so if he guarantees her safety, it should be more easing.

"Maybe... I was a bit harsh on the letdown..."

'Of course, I was, Ram will probably kill me when I come back won't she?' He thought to himself.

"Right... it's time to for me to be your hero... Rem..." He got up and looked at the direction where Rem had run off to.

He had the urge to see her, for her to stay by his side, or at least to say a goodbye, but that would make the whole thing pointless, so he strengthened his resolve and walked down the steps...

A/N

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[ReviewR524]: Remake time!

[Subaru]: At least I was a little less harsh on Rem, I guess...

[Shadow]: And I also make an appearance, yay...

[Subaru]: Who are you again?

[Shadow]: Yo, Subaru, the answer'd be a spoiler so [No comment]...

[ReviewR524]: The last thing we want is spoilers Subaru-san

[Subaru]: I guess...

...

HEYO! I just recently re-read the original and oh boy did it suck compared to the newer ones I make, (The structure) I'm gonna do better explanations and put more stuff for foreshadowing and stuff on future arcs and there were scenes I just wanted to re-write completely cause I just thought of it differently.

Anyway, this doesn't affect the outcome of the other fics what so ever, also, updates on this one, in particular, will be slower than the other two, unless I have like, a lot of extra time or a sudden burst of energy.