She wears a safety pin so everyone knows she’s an ally for minorities. Her cover photo has a Black power fist. She regularly discusses her love for the Obamas, the Black Lives Matter Movement, and her admonishment for this current administration. However, I would soon realize that nothing would shake her more than a confident, Black woman contradicting her in front of a classroom of her own students.

The Initial Downplay of Slavery

Quiz 1, question 14. The quiz question that cost my Professor her whole career. The question stated, “Historical research on African-American families during slavery shows that: A) Family ties weren’t important in African cultures where the slaves ancestors originated; consequently, family bonds were never strong among slaves. B) Two-parent families were extremely rare during the slave period. C) Black family bonds were destroyed by the abuses of slave owners, who regularly sold off family members to other slave owners. D) Most slave families were headed by two parents.

I chose C. I was told that was incorrect; the answer was D. And then things got interesting.

Sociology of The Family

I would like to begin this story by saying that I rarely register for a class without checking RateMyProfessor.com. This website provides students a platform to review their Professors and has been a useful tool for me throughout my time in college. While some reviews are posted by bitter students whose final grade shockingly reflects the minimal effort they contributed all semester, I tend to stray away from Professors who receive similar criticisms from multiple students. That being said, warning bells would’ve rung had I done my research prior to registering for Sociology of the Family. Six students used the adjective “opinionated,” four reviews said that she “rants,” and multiple students stated that her class had “no true substance.” Alas, I neglected to see any of this prior to walking into a class taught by a woman whose last words to me (via a public Facebook post) were: “I’m sorry if I upset you. Please accept this complimentary dildo, go fuck yourself.”

Citing White Sociologists from the 60s

So how did we get here? It began with me disagreeing with the idea that black family bonds weren’t destroyed during slavery. In our email exchange, I requested further information that would prove that C is incorrect. I respectfully provided evidence, even directly from our textbook that supported my argument. However, my Professor continued to argue that family bonds were not destroyed and that 2/3 of slave families were headed by two parents. When questioned on how family bonds were maintained despite geographic separation, she stated, “family bonds were maintained in part due to word of mouth communication from a slave community on one plantation to a slave community on another, when slaves accompanied their masters on business and social trips.” The sociologist she cites, Herbert Gutman, is a White man that died in 1985 and conducted his research in the 60s and 70s. It is not hard to recognize that racism and bias could play a large role in the “studies” conducted by sociologists during this time. The whitewashing of Black history has historically been used to justify the barbaric behavior that White people inflicted on Black people for centuries and I was seeing this happen again in my class.

Alternative Facts

This prompted discussion from my friends and family, who took issue with the numerous alternative facts that she continues to stand behind. It was alarming to me that my Professor believes that “Most slave families were kept intact with wife and husband present.” What does she think this was, Good Times? Most slaves were not getting married and most slaves were not raising their children.

I would like to know her definition of a “slave family,” since she insists that 2/3 of slave families were kept intact. Does this account for the slave masters that regularly raped and impregnated slave women then sold their children? Is that the Daddy we’re referring to? Regardless, my friends and family commented and sent articles that I began printing out, highlighting, and I made plans to deliver them to her on Monday morning. However, this was an action that I did not need to take seeing as my Professor had been following along on Facebook the entire time. It was on these Facebook posts that my Professor began commenting on to defend her position.

Our Passionate Hallway Discussion

I diligently printed and highlighted seven sources on the impact of slavery on Black families that cited historical facts. But unfortunately, my Professor seemed more interested in checking me than having a conversation or hearing my concerns. When class was in session, she began making backhanded comments directed at me. For example: “Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to bring the textbook to class today because my bag is full of other texts for a student who requires further evidence on subjects I teach in class.” After class, my Professor and I went into the hallway for our scheduled meeting.

Before letting me speak, she spent 3 minutes flipping through various books and citing sociologists who didn’t explicitly mention the destruction of family bonds. She offered me books to read adding statements such as, “This book would be good for you to read. I believe it’s $6 so I could buy it for you if you’d like.” When I was finally given the opportunity to speak, I began outlining why her question diminishes the impacts of slavery. My Professor interrupted me to state that this was an impossibility because she has spent her whole life fighting for minorities. Predictably, she was reverting back to the ole “I’ve got Black friends” defensive rhetoric.

Visibly frustrated, my Professor continued to interject with gems including: “I have taught thousands of Black students and I have never had anyone disagree with how I cover this”, “You’re talking to someone who has spent their entire life fighting for people of diversity and marched with my Black brothers and sisters”, and even “I went to an integrated Kindergarten when I was 6 and I thought it was normal!” To which I responded, “So I can’t ask a question about the quiz?” My professor replied, “You can ask me whatever you damn well please but I have never in my life had a student question my knowledge!” However, in her fit of rage, my Professor made her fatal mistake. She derisively challenged me to lecture the class on the topic if I’m so sure of myself. She clearly didn’t know who the fuck I was.

I eagerly responded, “WHEN.”

My Presentation That She Didn’t Think I’d Give

I have a decently reliable gut. I can usually feel when something is about to escalate and I had a very strong feeling that my Professor was just getting started. I had no idea how she would respond to my presentation so I spoke with the Department Head at my University to address the possibility of retaliation for challenging her, especially considering how heated our last conversation had gotten. Understanding that college is a place for scholars to openly engage in dialogue when they agree or disagree, he welcomed me to give the presentation if I was comfortable.

Truth is, I didn’t want to give the presentation at all. Public speaking makes me nervous every single time. Lightheadedness, blurry vision, pit stains to my knees; any one of those things can happen or all of them at the same time. However, I felt as though I had to give this presentation because I have had enough of White people defining my history, especially inaccurately. Our country continues to have a race problem and I firmly believe that it’s because we can’t even accept that America has never been great for anyone unless you’re White. How can we expect the treatment of Black people to improve and equality to be made possible if America can’t even face the reality of how people of color have been treated in the past? It’s impossible to move forward if we can’t look back. So I did it. I walked to the front of the class and contradicted what our Professor was trying to teach us. Then I clicked ‘Start’ on Facebook Live

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My Professor Tries To Sabotage Me

My gut knew that wasn’t how this story would end. My presentation could have been and should have been the end of it but it wasn’t. A week later, I’m awakened by a friend of mine blowing my phone up with screenshots of my Professor’s Facebook page. Apparently, she forgot about privacy settings on Facebook. Her comments include, but not limited to: “She’s on LinkedIn trying to establish professional contacts, this should be fun!”, “After the semester is over and she is no longer my student, I will post her name, Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and LinkedIn.. after she graduates, all bets are off”, “I don’t forget malevolent attempts to harm me. #karmawillfindyou”, and “Ignore the facts, promote a misinformed viewpoint, trash me and I will fight you.”

Fortunately, this story has the unusual ending of a University standing up for a student. I was removed from the class, given alternatives for completing the course, and offered additional resources to ensure my safety. My class received one final email from our Professor that stated “A student and her friends posted inflammatory, derogatory, libelous comments on her Facebook page and demeaned my character, honesty, and integrity….Nonetheless, she filed a complaint against me with [the University] administration and they decided she has the right to impugn my character but I had no right to defend myself. Consequently, I’ve been placed on administration leave and will likely be terminated this week.” She then proceeded to post one final message to yours truly:

An actual post directed at me from my Professor.

And then she was fired.

My Professor Isn’t An Anomaly

My Professor lost her mind, yes. But I believe her actions speak to a much larger issue at hand: all too often, we see “allies” claiming to be progressive feminists but proving the opposite when they attempt to stifle the voices of women of color when their ally-ship is questioned or challenged. It’s generally difficult to have honest conversations with White people about race and privilege, but it’s especially difficult when they identify themselves as an “ally” and have invested parts of their identity in the belief that they are “not racist.” Most people are able to go down their checklist and check off that they have a handful of Black friends, have never committed a hate crime, and don’t use the word nigger (~unless it’s nigga and it’s in a rap song~). So when Black people challenge White people to use their privilege or voice to do more for people of color, White people, often times, get defensive because they do not view themselves as part of the problem.

However, White people must recognize that they have the ability to tear down our existing social structures and participate in rebuilding a society that provides equal opportunity for all citizens- values our country were theoretically founded on. However, to do so, White people would have to accept losing the supremacy that their ancestors fought for (By ‘fought for’, I mean brutalized, sodomized, beat, raped, lynched, and murdered for). When White people refuse to use their privilege and voice to fight against a society that disproportionately victimizes people of color, they are in fact contributing to a racist and unjust society.

To my Professor, I forgive you for robbing me of my focus last semester. I forgive you for calling my Father, a graduate of Yale Medical School, “educationally challenged.” I even forgive you for threatening me. However, I do not forgive you for being willfully ignorant to the subjects you teach students. I also do not forgive you for claiming to be an ally. An ally is so much more than wearing a safety pin. It also requires that you listen to the needs of Black people and respect the issues that we raise. When a Black student raises a concern over the way you are portraying her history, referring to all you’ve done for Black people doesn’t change the fact that you’re portraying slavery as some kind of slavery lite. As an educator and as an ally, you are not expected to know everything but this does not abdicate you from the responsibility of always continuing to learn- even from your students. Additionally, if you wanted to actually help Black men and women, you’d value our words. Unfortunately, your actions simply mirror how America values Black people in today’s society. If our society valued Black people, we’d see improvements in low income neighborhoods, better public education systems, and they’d also stop incarcerating us en masse for doing the same shit White fraternity boys do on my campus every single day. However, if you taught me one thing, it is to always speak truth to power regardless of the outcome.

PS- I saw you share a video of Rep. Maxine Waters on Facebook so I’ll share with you a quote of hers that you must have missed: “I’m a strong Black woman. I cannot be intimidated, I cannot be undermined. And I’d like to say to women everywhere, don’t allow these dishonorable people to intimidate you or scare you. Be who you are, do what you do, and let’s get on with discussing the real issues of this country… We know that when a woman stands up and speaks truth to power, there will be attempts to put her down. So I’m not going to be put down and I’m not going anywhere.”