Every bad marriage has its recurring irritants, and the bad marriage between Netanyahu and Obama is no different. One chronic irritant for Netanyahu is Obama’s oft-stated suggestion that his understanding of Israel’s long-term best interests is deeply considered and comprehensive. One chronic irritant for Obama is his belief that Netanyahu has neither the courage nor the prescience to move Israel toward a two-state solution, the only solution that will preserve Israel as a Jewish-majority democracy.

I understand why Netanyahu might find Obama’s assertion that the Iran nuclear agreement is in Israel’s best interests somewhat galling. I’m 60-40 on the issue myself, and though I’m pleased that the deal, if properly implemented, will keep Iran from the nuclear threshold for at least 10 years, if not more, the Obama administration inadvertently reminds me from time to time that it might have an overly sanguine view of Iran’s ultimate intentions.

On the other set of issues—those related to Israel’s hemorrhaging legitimacy, which is in many ways derivative of Netanyahu’s obstinate desire to defend the settlement project at almost any cost—my sympathy for the prime minister dissipates. In this case, I don’t doubt at all that Obama is asking questions about Israel’s direction that must be asked by its friends.

In an earlier interview with me, Obama put it this way: “[I]f there’s something you know you have to do, even if it’s difficult or unpleasant, you might as well just go ahead and do it, because waiting isn’t going to help. When I have a conversation with Bibi, that's the essence of my conversation: ‘If not now, when? And if not you, Mr. Prime Minister, then who? How does this get resolved?’” He went on to say, “I believe that Bibi is strong enough that if he decided this was the right thing to do for Israel, that he could do it. If he does not believe that a peace deal with the Palestinians is the right thing to do for Israel, then he needs to articulate an alternative approach. And as I said before, it’s hard to come up with one that’s plausible.”

I find it very difficult to argue with Obama when he asserts that time is running out for Israel to create conditions in which it will remain a Jewish-majority democracy and a safe haven for the Jewish people. We are now in the 48th year of the Israeli occupation of the West Bank. Hope for a two-state solution dims by the day. Right now, there are influential figures on the center-left, in America and in Europe, and certainly in the developing world, who believe that Israel is becoming an apartheid state, or is one already. Though this belief is steadily taking root, Netanyahu still has time to get Israel’s house in order. The choice is difficult: create conditions on the West Bank for the emergence of a Palestinian state, or give the Palestinians the vote in Israel. The third option—the permanent disenfranchisement of the West Bank Palestinians—is not an acceptable option, practically or morally. It is certainly not a legitimate option in the eyes of the international community, and such an option would be rejected by millions of Jews in the United States and elsewhere, including and especially in synagogues whose rabbis are searching for ways to explain today’s difficult reality to disaffected young congregants.