Still, not all cities get it right the first time. Some choose their original name with the exact same amount of forethought as a drunken frat boy at a tattoo parlor ... and the results are often just as hilarious.

Names are an important thing, and doubly so when you're establishing an entire city. No amount of economic and military might is going to save your metropolis if some schmuck of a founder saw fit to name it Monkey Butt Junction. That's why people tend to be extra careful when naming their residential areas. Just think of places like Rome, London, New York City, and Fucking -- all powerful, expressive names that a city can proudly stand behind.

5 Melbourne Used to Be Batmania

DC Comics

In 1833, an explorer called John Batman (John Batman!) was roaming the coastline of Australia. Batman (damn right we'll call him that for the rest of the article) was on a mission: The British government had given him permission to set up a new city in southern Australia. Sighting a nice, uninhabited place through his telescope, Batman splashed down the anchor, rowed ashore, and decided it was the perfect spot for his city.

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He keeps his bat-gadgets in the neckbeard.

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However, the "uninhabited" part proved to be a bit of a dud: There were plenty of natives wandering the area wondering what the hell Batman was doing there. Being a nice guy, he didn't just kick their asses and take the land by force. Instead, he became one of the few Australian settlers to actually pay for the land he used. This was a good deal from the Aborigines' point of view, as they had never really conceived of owning the land in the first place. It was a great deal for Batman, who, according to his own words, was now "the greatest landowner in the world." This treaty became known as Batman's Deed, because sometimes the universe just gets things goddamn right.

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Now free to establish the city of his dreams, Batman brought in a bunch of settlers, set up shop, and named the place Gotham City. Ha, just kidding! He decided to take the "8-year-old naming his tree house" route and dubbed the city Batmania.

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His entire Rogues Gallery was spider-themed.

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Despite sounding like a combination of an Adam West wrestling show and the aftermath of a rabid bat attack, Batmania was off to a good start. However, a rival land plotter called Richard Bourke soon saw that Batman was on to a good thing and decided to swoop in, presumably in full Joker makeup. With the backing of the government, Bourke ripped up the treaty and started taking over the city. Batman did not like it one bit, but since the city was becoming the regional capital and Bourke happened to be the governor of said region, the Australian government put its foot down and basically told Batman (and the Aborigines) to eat a great big bag of platypus dicks.