Across the Western world tens of thousands of brainwashed kids are bunking off school in what has misleadingly been described as a ‘Climate Strike.’

No. A strike involves the withholding of productive labour. These kids are simply playing truant using the best ‘dog ate my homework’ excuse evah: ‘If I don’t do this, the planet will die!!’

To give us an idea of just how ignorant these kids are on the so-called ‘climate emergency’, Guardian Australia has helpfully released a video.

Ahead of today's #ClimateStrike, The Guardian asked some primary school kids what they think climate change is. pic.twitter.com/IY2QuwVVAb — Guardian Australia (@GuardianAus) September 19, 2019

Daisy, 9, thinks:

“It is making fires in the Arctic where there is supposed to be no fires at all, only snow.”

James, 10, explains:

“Carbon goes into the world’s atmosphere making the world get hotter.”

Hannah, 10, says:

“Some cows are farting and that’s putting carbon into the atmosphere and that’s bad because the sunlight goes out and can never come back.”

Is this the kind of expertise on which we are now expected to base global climate and energy policy? Lots of greenies and leftists (not that there’s much difference) clearly think so.

That, after all, was the purpose of the Climate Crisis Hearing held in Congress earlier this week – in which a Democrat-led committee invited us to be impressed by just how much a bunch of mopey, whiney teenagers including Greta Thunberg are worried about climate change.

It’s also, presumably, why Jon Lansman – one of the sinister, rich, string-pullers of Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour party – considered it appropriate to show us a letter his 5-year old granddaughter had been programmed to scrawl.

This is wonderful, Jon. Taya, and all the other schoolchildren taking part, are leading the way and I'll be proud to join them tomorrow. Please pass on my support and solidarity to your granddaughter. https://t.co/cxUA4A7y9a — Jeremy Corbyn (@jeremycorbyn) September 19, 2019

I believe that all children should be free to bunk off school to attend today’s Climate Strike. But only if they can get at least 80 percent of the answers right on this climate quiz prepared by the Global Warming Policy Foundation.

Here is a taster:

By how many degrees has the world warmed in the last 20 years?

a) 0.3 C b) 0.8 C c) 1.5 C

How many degrees Celsius has the world warmed since the pre-industrial period?

a) 10 C b) 3 C c) 1 C

It is thought that there were between 5,000 and 15,000 polar bears alive in 1960; how many polar bears are alive today?

a) more than 28,000 b) 5,000 to 10,000 c) fewer than 4,000

There is, I would suspect, barely a child alive that has been through the green indoctrination process which passes for education in our schools who would be able to answer more than half these questions correctly.

(The answers are, of course, 1 a, 2 c and 3 a)

So what we’re witnessing today is the bizarre phenomenon of tens of thousands of schoolchildren protesting over an issue which they do not remotely comprehend. And then being applauded for it by adults who – astonishingly – are even more stupid than the kids.

Brilliant to see so many people at today’s #ClimateStrike in #Brighton – huge congratulations to @Strike4YouthBH & everyone supporting them – we can do this! https://t.co/bjz7mqKbjl — Caroline Lucas (@CarolineLucas) September 20, 2019

Strike to save humanity, and strike for: Clean energy Clean air Affordable, state of the art public transport Skilled, well-paid, unionised green jobs A just, equal, green economy#ClimateStrike — Owen Jones🌹 (@OwenJones84) September 20, 2019

. @GretaThunberg and young people across the world are striking today to demand urgent action on the climate crisis. But they can't do it alone. Whatever your age, we’re all needed to join and support the global #ClimateStrike and make our governments act. pic.twitter.com/5Xk60zsdds — Annie Lennox (@AnnieLennox) September 20, 2019

Come friendly asteroid. Destroy us now!