Donald Trump is celebrating his 71st birthday on Wednesday. While it may not be a national holiday quite yet, it is his first since becoming President, and will undoubtedly be a special day for him.

People usually receive cakes on their birthdays, with their age mirrored by the number of candles. But with baked goods from the mainstream media unlikely to get past White House security these days, we can only offer the next best thing: a list of 71 things Trump has actually said – one for every year he has lived.

It would usually be difficult to compile so many memorable quotes from a President, but Trump has produced so many that it's actually difficult to whittle them down to just 71. And what's more, they keep on coming.

Donald Trump invites Cabinet members to offer message of praise

If Trump's presidency already alarms you, then be warned: some of these quotes may keep you up at night. But if you’re a fan of the President, then here he is, in his own words, unfiltered by the mainstream media. Still sure about him? Ok. Well, enjoy:

"I loved my previous life. I had so many things going. This is more work than in my previous life. I thought it would be easier." "And in fact when I decided to just do it [fire James Comey], I said to myself, I said 'you know, this Russia thing with Trump and Russia is a made-up story, it's an excuse by the Democrats for having lost an election that they should have won'." “Appreciate the congrats for being right on radical Islamic terrorism, I don’t want congrats, I want toughness & vigilance. We must be smart!” (Tweeted after the 2016 Pulse nightclub shooting in Orlando, the deadliest gun massacre in US history) “I've passed a lot of legislative bills that people don't even know about.” ”The leaks are real, but the news is fake” “I don’t think anybody should listen to me because I haven’t really focused on it very much.” (On Brexit just before the EU referendum in 2016) “They will soon be calling me MR. BREXIT!” (On Twitter after the EU referendum) “I’m not ranting and raving. I’m just telling you, you’re dishonest people.” (To the media at a press conference in February 2017) “Amazing how the haters & losers keep tweeting the name “F**kface Von Clownstick” like they are so original & like no one else is doing it…” (Tweeted in 2013) “I've known her for a long time. The things they say are so unfair.” (On his wife Melania) “Believe me, [Jessica Leeds] would not be my first choice.” (On a woman who accused him of groping her) “Lots of things are done with uranium, including some bad things.” “I believe in clean air. Immaculate air. … But I don’t believe in climate change.” “No more massive injections. Tiny children are not horses – one vaccine at a time, over time.” “I wish everyone, including the haters and losers, a very happy Easter!” “Pathetic excuse by London Mayor Sadiq Khan who had to think fast on his "no reason to be alarmed" statement. MSM is working hard to sell it!” (After Khan told Londoners there was “no reason to be alarmed” by increased police presence on streets after the London Bridge terrorist attack in June) “We’ve got to be nice and cool, nice and calm. All right, stay on point, Donald. Stay on point. No sidetracks, Donald. Nice and easy.” “There is something on [Obama’s] birth certificate — maybe religion, maybe it says he’s a Muslim, I don’t know. Maybe he doesn’t want that. Or, he may not have one.” “Any negative polls are fake news, just like the CNN, ABC, NBC polls in the election. Sorry, people want border security and extreme vetting.” “Watched protests yesterday but was under the impression that we just had an election! Why didn’t these people vote? Celebs hurt cause badly.” “Are you allowed to impeach a president for gross incompetence?” (Tweeted before he was President, in 2004) “Russia, if you’re listening, I hope you’re able to find the 30,000 [Hillary Clinton] emails that are missing. I think you will probably be rewarded mightily by our press.” “I’m afraid the election’s going to be rigged, I have to be honest.” (Rally in Pennsylvania, August 1, 2016) “It’s Thursday. How many people have lost their healthcare today?” (Tweeted in 2014, three years before it was estimated his healthcare bill would cause 20m to lose their health insurance) “I’m speaking with myself, number one, because I have a very good brain and I’ve said a lot of things.” (When asked who his foreign policy advisers are in 2016) “An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud” “You could see there was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever.” (On Megyn Kelly after he asked him tough questions in a debate) “I never attacked him on his looks and believe me, there’s a lot of subject matter there.” (On Senator Rand Paul during a 2015 debate) “Terrible! Just found out that Obama had my ‘wires tapped’ in Trump Tower just before the victory. Nothing found. This is McCarthyism!” “How low has President Obama gone to tapp my phones during the very sacred election process. This is Nixon/Watergate. Bad (or sick) guy!” “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. … They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.” “Well, somebody’s doing the raping, Don [Lemon]. I mean somebody’s doing it. Who’s doing the raping? Who’s doing the raping?” (When challenged over his above statement) “[Hillary Clinton] goes around with armed bodyguards like you have never seen before. I think that her bodyguards should drop all weapons. They should disarm. Right? Right? I think they should disarm immediately.” “I’ve done it four times out of hundreds, and I’m glad I did it. I used the laws of the country to my benefit. I’m sorry.” (On his bankruptcies during a 2015 debate) “I know more about Isis than the generals do. Believe me.” “How stupid are the people of Iowa? How stupid are the people of the country to believe this crap?” “Obama said in his speech that Muslims are our sports heroes. What sport is he talking about, and who? Is Obama profiling?” “[Obama] is the founder of Isis. He’s the founder of Isis, OK? He’s the founder. He founded Isis and I would say the co-founder would be crooked Hillary Clinton.” “If you look at his wife, she was standing there, she had nothing to say. Probably maybe she wasn’t allowed to have anything to say, you tell me, but plenty of people have written that. She was extremely quiet and it looked like she had nothing to say.” (On Ghazala Khan, the grieving mother of a US soldier killed in action) “Even a race to Obama, she was gonna beat Obama. I don't know who would be worse, I don’t know, how could it be worse? But she was going to beat—she was favored to win—and she got schlonged.” (On Hillary Clinton) “The doctor said, ‘Man you have the blood pressure of a great, great, athlete who is 20 years old. 110, I like that, because I like being a great athlete.” “His father was with Lee Harvey Oswald prior to Oswald’s being—you know, shot. I mean, the whole thing is ridiculous.” (On Ted Cruz’s father Rafael, suggesting he helped assassinate JFK) “I feel like a supermodel except, like, times 10, OK? It’s true. I’m a supermodel.” (In 2016) “Who wouldn’t take Kate [Middleton’s] picture and make lots of money is she does the nude sunbathing thing. Come on Kate!” “If and when the Vatican is attacked by Isis, which as everyone knows is Isis’s ultimate trophy, I can promise you that the Pope would have only wished and prayed that Donald Trump would have been President because this would not have happened.” “I wonder if President Obama would have attended the funeral of Justice Scalia if it were held in a Mosque? Very sad that he did not go!” “I could stand in the middle of Fifth Avenue and shoot somebody and I wouldn’t lose voters.” “Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again – just watch. He can do much better!” “Do you know that Hillary Clinton was a birther? She wanted those records and fought like hell. People forgot. Did you know John McCain was a birther?” “He’s a war hero because he was captured. I like people that weren’t captured, OK?” (Donald Trump on Senator John McCain in 2015) “202-228-0292” (Lindsay Graham’s cell number, which he announced at a rally in 2015) “I think I’d get along very well with Vladimir Putin. I just think so. People say, ‘What do you mean?’ I think I would get along well with him.” "We’ve got a lot of killers. What do you think? Our country’s so innocent?” (When asked about Putin murdering rivals and critics) “One trillion, at least!” (When asked how much it would take for him to make out with Rosie O'Donnell) “Don’t tell me it doesn’t work—torture works. Half these guys [say]: ‘Torture doesn’t work.’ Believe me, it works.” (2016) “We’re totally predictable. And predictable is bad. Sitting at a meeting like this and explaining my views and if I do become president, I have these views that are down for the other side to look at, you know. I hate being so open.” “The answer is that there has to be some form of punishment.” (On whether women should be punished for having abortions, a position he later went back on) “After I beat them, I’m going to be so presidential, you’re going to be so bored, you’re going to say, this is the most boring human being I’ve ever interviewed.” “That could be a Mexican plane up there. They’re getting ready to attack,” (Rally in New Hampshire, June 30, 2016) “One of the reasons is party unity, I have to be honest.” (Introducing running mate Mike Pence, in New York, July 16, 2016) “Good news is Melania’s speech got more publicity than any in the history of politics especially if you believe that all press is good press!” (After it was discovered his wife Melania plagiarised her speech from Michelle Obama) “I thought this would be like Dr Martin Luther King, where the people would be lined up from here all the way to the Washington Monument.” (Bikers for Trump rally at Lincoln Memorial in Washington DC in 2016) “I’ll answer that question [whether Obama was born in America] at the right time. I just don’t want to answer it yet.” (2016) “He’s a fantastic guy. … He took control of Egypt. And he really took control of it.” (On Egyptian President Abdel Fattah el-Sisi in September 2016) “Did Crooked Hillary help disgusting (check out sex tape and past) Alicia [Machado] become a US citizen so she could use her in the debate?” (Tweeted in September 2016 – there was no sex tape) “It’s freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming!” “I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.” “The other candidates — they went in, they didn’t know the air conditioning didn’t work. They sweated like dogs…How are they gonna beat Isis? I don’t think it’s gonna happen.” “Lyin’ Ted Cruz just used a picture of Melania from a shoot in his ad. Be careful, Lyin’ Ted, or I will spill the beans on your wife!” “You know, I’m automatically attracted to beautiful — I just start kissing them. It’s like a magnet. Just kiss. I don’t even wait. And when you’re a star, they let you do it. You can do anything.” “26,000 unreported sexual assaults in the military-only 238 convictions. What did these geniuses expect when they put men & women together?”