Things being as they are in this dusty old sports town, we’re left to imagine what might be and remember what once was. So go ahead, close your eyes and dream of Colorado teams producing championships, not made-for-media quarterback controversies.

It’s hard, given all the rebuilding going on along Interstate 25 and the Boulder Turnpike, but imagine CU with a Heisman candidate at quarterback leading a top-10-and-climbing program. And then imagine the Buffs crushing Nebraska at Folsom Field, a loss that prompts the Cornhuskers’ coach to apologize to everyone who lives in or has ever made the 37-hour drive through the state.

Oh, and while we’re playing fantasy-league sports, go ahead and dream about the Rockies, on the very same day, winning a playoff game at Coors Field, and the Broncos, fresh off a Super Bowl victory, crushing the Raiders the next afternoon at Fill in the Blank Field at Mile High.

If you’re a Cheesehead, you don’t have to imagine.

All of those scenarios played out last weekend in Wisconsin. The Badgers, with the mercurial Russell Wilson under center and thousands of “Shuck Nebraska” T-shirts in the stands, routed the Huskers 48-17 at Camp Randall Stadium in Nebraska’s first-ever Big Ten game.

The Brewers, earlier in the day, beat the Diamondbacks in their playoff opener at Miller Park. And the Packers, with MVP favorite Aaron Rodgers pushing all the right buttons, outclassed the Broncos 49-23 the next afternoon at history-soaked Lambeau Field.

It was, by all accounts, the greatest weekend in Wisconsin since they repealed Prohibition. What’s that? Oh, all right. So I had to poke a little fun at the Cheeseheads. Before you get all P.C. about it, there’s something you should know: I am one.

I’m a Colorado guy, having lived in Denver for 27 years, but my heritage lies deep in the black earth of Wisconsin. One of my grandfathers was a farmer, the other a cheesemaker and tavern proprietor. Which brings me to the day a few years ago when my brother grabbed a can of Blatz out of his refrigerator after ordering a pizza.

“Hey, Mom,” I asked the resident saint, “Dad was known to have a Blatz or two, wasn’t he?”

“Or three.”

If you’re from Wisconsin, you learn to laugh. And you never, ever forget your roots. You thirst for trips back home almost as much as you thirst upon arrival. So it was that I flew into Madison last weekend for the greatest Badgers- Packers doubleheader that ever was.

Good time, all the time

Yes, Wisconsin owns the current rights to Sports Capital of the World, but, given the cyclical nature of bouncing balls and the teams that chase them, that’s roughly akin to Flavor of the Month. Win or lose, past or present, one thing never changes about the Cheeseheads: They know how to have a good time.

Wisconsin isn’t so much a state as it is a state of mind. Nobody loves to laugh more than the Cheeseheads. Or eat brats. Or drink. To wit: Back in the day, vendors at Camp Randall would holler “mix!” when hawking Coca-Cola.

Numbers? You want numbers? The Post sent me to Green Bay before the “This One’s For John” Super Bowl. During my research, I discovered that there were an estimated 12,700 bars in the state. By comparison, Minnesota had 4,000. No wonder people in Wisconsin refer to Minnesotans as lightweights.

Cheeseheads like to tease their neighbors from Minnesota and Illinois, especially Bears fans who are stuck with Joyless Jay Cutler as their quarterback. But it’s all in good fun. In the end, that’s what Wisconsin fans are all about.

They’re not just funsters in Wisconsin. They’re innovators too. At Wisconsin games, tuba players in the band have attained rock-star status. During the pregame, they wandered from tailgate to tailgate serenading the crowd. And the fun didn’t stop there. After the third quarter, the student section launched the “Jump Around” to the House of Pain song of the same title. It’s a tradition that has become a staple not only at Camp Randall, but at wedding receptions throughout the state.

Then came the Zip Wave, in which everyone in the stadium did the Wave at warp speed, and the Slo-Mo Wave. Finally, after the game, the band struck up “On Wisconsin” and the Bud Song culminating with, “When you say Wiiiiiiii-sconsin, you’ve said it all!”

Nice place to stay

It isn’t just the fans that made Wisconsin sports fun. Its teams have been trendsetters too. To wit: Former Dodgers owner Walter O’Malley used the Milwaukee Braves, the first major-league team to draw 2 million-plus fans, as his model franchise before moving the Bums out of Brooklyn. And while we’re on the subject, ever wonder why NFL teams measure players’ hands at the scouting combine? In part, it’s because former Packers general manager Ron Wolf wanted players with big hands, especially quarterbacks, to handle the ball in the harsh late-season weather.

Given those infamous Wisconsin winters, you would think the state’s sports figures would leave as soon as they could. But they don’t. Case in point: Barry Alvarez, who rescued the UW football program from the depths, turned down offers from the NFL and top college programs, including the University of Miami, to stay in Madison, becoming the school’s athletic director after retiring from coaching.

Ray Nitschke, the gravel- voiced Hall of Fame linebacker, lived in Green Bay until the day he died in 1998. Fuzzy Thurston and Bob Skoronski, two other pillars of the Packers’ 1960s dynasty, also call Wisconsin home. And outfielder Ryan Braun, a leading candidate for the National League MVP award, has signed a Troy Tulowitzki-like lifetime contract to stay with the Brewers.

National magazines routinely rate Madison and Green Bay at or near the top of list of best places to live in the United States. Which brings me to one more story. During my trip to Green Bay in January 1998, I ran into Nitschke, who inspired those “Nitschke Never Wore an Earring” T-shirts they sell outside Lambeau, in the lobby of the Packers’ front office.

“There’s a quality of life here that you just don’t see in many places,” he said. “I could have left here, but I didn’t want to. I wanted to raise my kids here.”

It isn’t just a great place to raise kids. At the moment, there’s no better place than Wisconsin to watch a ballgame.

Jim Armstrong: 303-954-1269 or jmarmstrong@denverpost.com