ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

Harry Potter author JK Rowling has weighed in on the ongoing debate over pill testing in New South Boomerstan today – coming out in support of it by saying they had it at the 1994 Triwizard Tournament after party.

Despite there being no after party in the book, the popular writer took to Twitter and in a series of now-deleted tweets, clarifies that there actually was – and it was loose as hel l.

“Despite the tragic death of Cedric Diggory at the event and the susequent rebirth of Lord Voldemort, many of the Hogwarts students held a lowkey wake,” she wrote.

“At that small gathering, Ron was able to source some old-school pressed pills from his brothers. Errol his owl went out to meet the dealer near Hagrid’s house. I’m talking those real 90s beans. Makes your hair stand on end! Anyway, they put on some Fat Boy Slim and got real fucking weird,”

“Some say Hagrid even had a pill press? Anyway, before they took them, they had them tested with a kit they bought from Zonko’s in Hogsmeade, as per Dumbledore’s suggestion. Turns out there were high quality, so they took two to start and the rest is history. Even Snape had a 10 pack all to himself,”

“So @GladysB, if they tested pills at Hogwarts, they should test them in New South Wales!”

However, despite JK Rowling’s recent penchant for revisionist history, many social media users have used the author’s comments as their own casus belli to continue to put pressure on Premier Gladys Berejiklian to think of the children.

“If Harry Pillhead had his pills tested, why can’t we?” wrote one user.

“I new Hagrid had a side-hustle. What a mad lad! Wonder which bikie gang he was affiliated with?”

One user was shocked to learn that Snape was such a munt goblins, while another expressed shock that the traditionally-straight-laced Hermione Granger took drugs so flippantly.

Luckily JK was there to clarify that as well.

“Hermione is a sensible girl,” wrote Rowling.

“She got her pills tested before melting into the mosh.”

More to come.