--THE FILTHY CASUAL--

- "My favorite metal bands are Pantera, Metallica, and Nine Inch Nails!"

--THE MYTHOLOGIST--

- Folk metal enthusiast

- Learned everything they know about Norse mythology through song lyrics and Marvel movies.

- Wants to move to Norway so that they can be with "their people."

- Is the metal equivalent of a weeaboo.

--THE ELITIST--

- Only listens to underground trve kvlt bands like Blasphemy and nǽnøĉÿbbœrğ vbëřřħōlökäävsŧ (Look them up, you fucking casual)

- Disparages others for not doing the same.

- Fruitlessly spends most of their time trying to sell Children of Bodom fans on Darkthrone.

- Is functionally incapable of listening to music that is professionally produced and recorded on quality equipment.

--THE OPEN MINDED GUY--

- Listens primarily to Dream Theater, Metallica, Megadeth, Amon Amarth, and Cradle of Filth. "Slayer is okay too."

- Doesn't think trad bands are "heavy enough."

- Thinks he listens to death metal and black metal

- "Oh, but not that Deathspell Omega shit. That's just noise."

- Complains endlessly about elitism and lack of open mindedness when someone doesn't like one of their favorite bands.

- Is functionally incapable of listening to music that was "recorded on a potato."

--THE PROG FAN--

- General music enthusiast -- this guy loves absolutely EVERYTHING. There are almost no styles he can't get into, but his favorite band is still Between the Buried and Me for some reason.

--THE PROG ELITIST--

- Listens to only Opeth, and occasionally some other prog metal or perhaps prog rock bands.

- Disregards anyone who doesn't like their favorite band as inferior and small-minded.

--THE DOOM GUY--

-Whenever this guy describes what kind of music he likes, it sounds like a sexual innuendo.

--THE ONE WITH THE FETISH--

- Is into it for the beards.

--THE -CORE FAN--

- "Have you ever heard of Whitechapel? They are SO talented!"

- "What the fuck is this 'Obituary' shit? It's not brutal enough. And the production is terrible."

--THE EDGELORD--

- Listens to metal for the lyrics.

- May or may not be an actual Satanist.

--THE MEATHEAD--

- Favorite bands are Cannibal Corpse, Cattle Decapitation, Suffocation, and Carcass (BUT ONLY THE FIRST THREE ALBUMS)

- Is instantly bored by any music they deem "not heavy enough."

- Is confused when you say "black metal," but gets this contorted look of disgust on their face when you say "prog metal." Contorted Disgust sounds like a good band name.

- Calls people pussies for preferring less heavy music.

--YOUR DAD--

- Loves Iron Maiden and Motörhead

- Won't admit that they're metal bands

- Says that Anthrax shit is too noisy for him.

--THE PERSON WHO LIKES ANOTHER GENRE--

- Tries to fuse it with metal, is met with absolute scorn immediately after doing this.

- "But I was told that metal is continually open for new ideas and experimentation!"

--THE ALMOST-AMBIENT LOVER--