Being a conspiracy theorist is a tricky balancing act. On the one hand, you have to be shamelessly stupid enough to ask the kind of questions an average seven-year-old would be too embarrassed to ask for fear of sounding stupid. Is the Earth flat? Do lizards rule the world? Do airplanes fart out dumb-clouds to make us think buying TVs is good? But on the other hand, you have to be smart enough to realize that you should stick to your lane. Never take your crazy ideas outside of the remedial school anthill that is the conspiracy theory community, because you will get smacked down by anyone with half a brain and a spine. For example ...

6 David Irving Goes To Court To Disprove The Holocaust, Somehow Loses

It's hard being a Holocaust denier. While they have their reasons to be skeptical (*coughracismcough*), it's such a well-documented event that arguing the opposite requires a breathtaking ability to ignore practically everything ever written on the subject. David Irving is a master of this art, plugging his ears to the sound of reason and logic for many decades. Or at least, he was until he decided to take the fight to the historians. It didn't end well for him.

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In 1993, Deborah Lipstadt published Denying The Holocaust: The Growing Assault On Truth And Memory, a fascinating look at the insane things Holocaust deniers use to justify their crusades. In the book, she describes Irving as a "dangerous spokesperson" for Holocaust denial. Irving, as usual, didn't care for that interpretation of history, and he decided to slap Lipstadt with a libel suit, arguing that his definitely existing reputation as a respected historian had been harmed.

Allan Warren/Wikipedia

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To make sure he'd win his sure slam dunk of a case, Irving sued Lipstadt and her publisher in the United Kingdom. There, unlike in the U.S., in libel cases the burden of proof lies with the accused. This was great for Irving, whose strong suit was never facts, or even basic logic. But this turned out to be his biggest mistake -- aside from denying the Holocaust ever happened, of course. Assembling a dream team of historians, Lipstadt set about ruthlessly dismantling Irving in court. After they got Richard Evans, professor of modern history at Cambridge University, to serve as their lead witness, he and a team of graduate students spent two years poring over everything that Irving had ever written. At trial, they demonstrated that Irving had knowingly used falsified documents as sources, misattributed quotes, and willfully interpreted euphemisms for extermination (a common component of the orders issued by the Nazi high command) at face value.

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Meanwhile, despite promising to tear Evans "to shreds" on the stand, Irving quickly reduced his tactic personal attacks and ad hominem arguments, which works a lot better on the internet than in a courtroom. Sensing that he was about to lose, Irving tried to settle with the publisher. In exchange for being dropped from the suit, all they would have to do was remove the book from sale, donate a sum of money to a charity run by Irving, and testify against Lipstadt. Oddly, they didn't budge. Irving then made the same offer to Lipstadt. It's said that on quiet nights, you can still hear her lawyers laughing.

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With his loss, Irving became liable for all court costs and was eventually driven into bankruptcy. It wasn't as if he had much coming in the way of residuals either; the trial had also brought a wealth of focus back onto his other books and, well, it wasn't good. As much as he loves to, even David Irving now cannot deny that it is an established legal fact that he is a Holocaust-denying, Nazi-supporting, racist idiot.