DALLAS—Scarcely 30 minutes into his recent visit to his hometown, 26-year-old Robert Feldman's parents Paul and Sharon had dropped the facade of treating him like a full-grown adult and begun to interact with him as if he were at least a decade younger, sources confirmed Saturday. "For the first half-hour of the drive home, it was like we had a healthy, mature relationship in which they viewed me as an actual grown-up with a career and responsibilities, but before I knew it, they were talking about me as if I weren't there, and refusing to let me turn up the radio," said Feldman, who for a short time had managed to convince himself his parents were granting him the same respect they would show to any other human being his age. "From the way we'd been talking about my new job, I really thought I'd made a breakthrough, but the second we got home, my mom was making me a tuna sandwich I didn't want, and somehow I found myself having to get permission from my dad to go out later." At press time, Feldman's father had reportedly offered him a beer and his mother had silently judged him for accepting it.

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