A God Damn Mess: An Arkos Date

Okay, this one shot actually does fit in with my main stories. And, this was also written as part of a contest prompt over at /r/RWBY, entailing me to write something about a boat and having Jaune and Pyrrha in it. You'll see how that works out in a minute. Anyway, just before we start, let's get the legal crap out of the way. I don't own RWBY (Monty Oum does), and I most certainly don't own anything I put in here. I'm just a guy with too many ideas and a laptop. Now, let's start this thing!

xxx

Ghost Ship. If a movie has that title, it's usually clear as to what to expect. It's about a car that's also a lich. Also, if that previous statement was believed by anyone, then please leave and go read something more up to speed, like Everyone Poops or Mr. Tickle.

Anyway, back to talking about the movie.

Jaune and Pyrrha knew this fact very well, but for different reasons. For Jaune, it was because he wanted to test his mettle as the, in a direct quote to himself, "The brave, courageous leader of Team JNPR". Of course, this wasn't exactly true, but watching a scary movie as an easy step to becoming truly hardcore and bold. For Pyrrha, it was a good idea for a date. Although she wouldn't admit it, even to herself, she kind of wanted Jaune to get spooked in the theater. Maybe he would hold onto her during the entire film, due to fright. Now, that was a fantasy that she could appreciate. The only real thing missing from it was Jaune also being shirtless and covered in oil and sweat, but the theater staff probably wouldn't appreciate it if that came to pass. So, Pyrrha had to take what she could get.

And so, the duo found themselves standing in a theater in downtown Vale City, having already bought their tickets out front. They were staring blankly at the snack bar menu, unable to decide on what they want.

"…So, what do you want?" Jaune asked as he turned to face Pyrrha.

The red-headed athlete tapped on her chin in thought, before conceding. "Whatever you want."

"I don't know what I want! What do you want?" Jaune exasperatedly asked again.

"I'm fine with what you want," Pyrrha replied with a small, friendly smile.

Sighing, Jaune just decided to get in the line for snacks. Sure, it was nice that Pyrrha wanted what he wanted, but she could stand to be a little decisive. She could stand to make a decision of her own, even if it was something Jaune wouldn't like. Hell, he would be fine with it even if she got some crappy snacks, like chocolate covered raisins or something. Oh well, he was here now. Might as well just get the standard popcorn and sodas.

Once the two people in front of him got their stuff, Jaune walked up to the cashier and simply ordered, "A large popcorn and two medium colas, please."

As the cashier got his order ready, the blonde swordsman pulled out his worn leather wallet to check how much lien he had. His heart sank a little as he realized the cash in his wallet didn't match the amount on the register's readout. "Of course…" Jaune grumbled in his head.

But wait! He remembered something!

Digging into the stack of cards he kept behind his driver's license, Jaune looked for the red card that would be his salvation. Ah! There it was! This was the way to pay for his date snacks!

When the cashier walked back up to the counter with his order, Jaune handed over his card and said, "Mind if you charge on this?". The cashier nodded, and swiped the card in the card reader on the register. Once the card was handed back to him, Jaune swiftly punched in his PIN and signed his name. Smiling to himself, he picked up his snacks and walked back over to Pyrrha.

It was a good thing he brought his Red Comet™ credit card that his parents gave him. Heck, it earned rewards three times faster than other competing cards! He could do without the mono-eyed robot on the front, though. But, his parents thought he might like the unique look, and he wasn't in a position to refuse the card. Heck, it was a useful thing for a hunter in training to have.

Handing one of the soda cups to Pyrrha, Jaune questioned, "Will this do?".

"Yes, this is fine!" Pyrrha chirped in reply.

"Eh, good enough," Jaune conceded in his mind. At least there was nothing wrong with going with the boring, safe option.

So, without much further ado, Jaune and Pyrrha then made their way to the theater playing Ghost Ship. Mainly because they wanted good seats, but also because no, they didn't pay good money to buy popcorn and stand in a theater lobby for two hours, like someone who doesn't understand how movie theaters work. Which they weren't. Obviously.

xxx

Like any sane person who goes to see movies in theaters, Jaune and Pyrrha decided to take the seats at the top, just under where the projector window was. After all, that position provided the best view.

"Hey, want some?" asked Jaune, his voice at its normal level. He held the popcorn bucket in Pyrrha's direction, but she held her hand up in refusal.

"No, thanks," she whispered. Then, she added, "And Jaune, can you please whisper? It's impolite to talk this loud in a theater."

Jaune bit his bottom lip slightly as he gazed around the theater. Nope, there wasn't anyone else in there. Not a single soul. Maybe they all just couldn't handle the cinematic quality and excellence that came with Ghost Ship. Because that was a totally believable answer.

Of course, the blonde pointed out the painfully obvious. "There's no one else here."

"Still," Pyrrha chided, "It's the principle of it,". Then, looking down at the entrance, she whispered, "See? There's more people coming in."

Now that he noticed that others were in the theater with him, Jaune decided that Pyrrha's point now stood. So, going along with it, he whispered, "Fine then."

Pyrrha gave her boyfriend a small nod of approval, and went back to paying attention to the screen. It was nothing interesting, just a combination of commercials, "Support your local business" pleas/ads, and movie trailers.

Jaune rested his chin in the palm of his hand, as he leaned on his chair's armrest. Damn, this was boring. He came here to see a movie, not ads for the diner next door or how to support your local credit union! But, he was forced to endure the hell of local commercials for several more minutes. At least he could pass the time by staring at the couple a few rows in front of him. For some reason, he had the feeling that one of them looked familiar. Maybe it was the animal ears…

Nah, it couldn't be her… right?

Now Jaune's curiosity had been piqued. He had nothing to lose by checking whether it was Velvet sitting in front of him or not. Hell, it would alleviate some of the boredom that came from the pleas—no, advertisements playing on the theater's screen.

He pulled out his scroll and opened the contacts app. Jaune ignored Pyrrha's scolding of "It's impolite to use your scroll in here!", and called Velvet's number.

Just as he suspected, he heard a familiar tone begin to play. Yep. That was Velvet's ringtone, alright.

"Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger/

But she ain't messin' with no broke ni—"

"You didn't turn that thing off?" Velvet's partner asked incredulously.

"S-sorry!" the rabbit girl apologized. Then, answering the call, she said into the receiver, "Hello?"

"Hey, Velvet! I'm in the same theater as you! Look behind you!" a chipper sounding Jaune said into his scroll. He didn't see Pyrrha arching her eyebrow and shaking her head at him. This was supposed to be their date, damn it!

Following his instructions, Velvet looked behind her, and saw Jaune waving at her. In the dim of the theater, Jaune didn't see Velvet smile at him. "I'll be up in a minute!" she said before hanging up her scroll. Turning to Coco, she briefly tugged at her sleeve, and then left to join Jaune. Coco followed after her, seeing nothing really better to do. Might as go along for the ride.

Jaune smiled to himself as Velvet and her friend walked up the steps to join him and Pyrrha. Unfortunately for him, he didn't really notice Pyrrha's aura expand in annoyance. He could be really dense sometimes. But surprisingly, he wasn't the densest person to ever exist. That honor goes to an entirely different person.

xxx

"Achoo!"

Ash Ketchum had no idea why he sneezed. He didn't have a cold or anything. Maybe it was the dust coming up from the dirt road. Now that he thought about it, it was weird that Kanto had more dirt roads than paved ones. Oh well, at least it lessened the effects a road would have on nature.

"Pika?" Pikachu asked from Ash's shoulder.

"What's wrong, Ash?" asked Misty, looking over her shoulder.

"I dunno…" Ash muttered, looking around. "I just had the weird feeling that someone's thinking about me."

"Pfft, I don't know who would be doing that…" scoffed Misty. She quickly turned her head around to hide her blush. Did her thoughts cause him to sneeze? Was that a real thing?

"That's just an old wives tale, Ash. Now come on, we have to make it to the next Pokémon Center before nightfall," Brock said from the front of the group.

"You just want to see Nurse Joy again!" Misty pointed out with a huff.

"Hey, I got a feeling she's the one this time!" said Brock in his own defense.

"You said that with all the other ones!" Misty argued back.

"Hey, you never know. Love can happen in weird places!" added Ash.

That ticked off Misty a little. How could he say that if he hadn't noticed her affection yet?! "Oh, quiet you!" she shot in Ash's direction.

Over the course of the ensuing argument over Brock's love life, the reason why Ash sneezed was dropped entirely.

Now, back to another place, in another time.

xxx

Velvet settled in the empty seat two seats over from Jaune, with Coco filling in the gap. Coco leered at Jaune and Pyrrha. Oh, this trip was going to be even more interesting than expected! First getting Velvet to see a scary movie, and now she had the opportunity to mess with her friends? Tonight was proving to be most exciting indeed.

As Coco silently praised her luck and cleverness, Velvet began to chat up the other couple.

"It's a real coincidence that we ended up in the same theater, huh?" posed Velvet.

"Quite…" Pyrrha grumbled quietly to herself.

"Oh, how rude of me! This is Coco, you guys!" Velvet said, gesturing to the girl wearing a beret sitting next to her.

"'Sup," Coco greeted to Jaune and Pyrrha.

"Anyway, I'm surprised to see you here! I didn't know you two were fans of Pretty Cure!" rambled on Velvet.

That made Jaune and Pyrrha look at each other in confusion. Did she walk into the wrong theater? She did know this one was showing Ghost Ship, right?

"Uhh… w-we aren't," Jaune awkwardly admitted.

"This is the Ghost Ship showing," explained Pyrrha slowly, as if she was talking to a child.

The slight smile on Velvet's face dropped as the words of her friends sunk in. This… wasn't a Pretty Cure All Stars movie? This was a SCARY movie? Horrified, the rabbit girl turned to her friend, who was trying her best to hide her impish grin.

"Y-you lied to me!" Velvet squeaked in terror to Coco.

"We've been over this many times, Velvs. How would you know if you hate scary movies if you haven't been to one recently?" Coco offered.

"Because I do, okay?!" Velvet screeched, before beginning to hyperventilate. This was bad for her. Very bad. She didn't even have a paper bag to breathe into! And having her love of Pretty Cure taken advantage of for the sake of getting her to see a spooky movie?! The only things that could make this situation worse was if she was either on fire, or have the secret pictures of Jaune and Pyrrha she never bothered to delete exposed to the couple beside her.

"Calm down, calm down. Take a sip," advised Coco, holding out Velvet's cup of lemonade to her. The rabbit girl took the cup from her friend's hand, and greedily sucked it down. She immediately began to feel better. Maybe it was the drink, or maybe it was Coco starting to rub small circles on her back. Either way, she was feeling a little better.

Seeing this, Jaune and Pyrrha had one question in mind. But only Pyrrha gave voice to it.

"Uhh, are you two a couple?" she asked at Coco and Velvet. The other pair stopped what they were doing to stare at her.

"N-n-n-n-no!" Velvet stuttered. It was a good thing the theater was dim, otherwise Jaune and Pyrrha might have seen her blush. Coco, on the other hand, dealt with that question in a much more composed fashion.

"Oh, absolutely. Seriously, Velvet is a killer in bed. Did she ever tell you about her carrot trick?" she deadpanned. The way she said it left little clues as to what she really meant. OF course, the answer was no.

However, while Pyrrha and Jaune took that answer with it's intended sarcasm, Velvet blushed even deeper. It wasn't like she hadn't thought about it before. She had enough photos of Coco on her scroll to know that she had quite the nice figure. But, yet again, Velvet wasn't sure what she wanted. Maybe her, maybe someone else. That's why she never really talked about her (lack of) a love life with others. That, and why her collection of… more adult manga was impressive. But that was neither here nor there right now. By thinking about this stuff, she got sidetracked from the real issue at hand: that she was in a theater that was playing a scary movie.

Immediately, Velvet went back to her default mode of panic. She needed something to save her from the spooky things!

However, just as her mind processed what she needed to do, she realized that she movie had already started to play. The opening credits were starting up. It was too late to do anything. She sure couldn't leave, Coco was supposed to pay for the airship ticket back to Beacon. All that there was left for Velvet to do was endure.

Poor, poor Velvet Scarlatina.

xxx

As Ghost Ship is A) a theatrical length movie and B) a steaming pile of cinematic shite, this story will be only skipping around to the more interesting parts, to gauge the character's reactions. Plus, it isn't fair to the viewers to subject them to the banality that is Ghost Ship.

xxx

On screen, many people were dancing in the ballroom of a fancy cruise ship. An attractive woman was singing, and everyone seemed to be having a good time. But then, cut to a hand activating a lever, which causes a very thin wire to travel the length of the ballroom. This, of course, causes nearly everyone that comes into contact with it to be bisected.

Reactions from the gathered Beacon students ranged from confused (Coco and Pyrrha), horrified (Jaune), and completely fucking terrified (take a good guess). All Velvet could do was rub her rabbit ears to comfort herself and whimper ineffectively.

Seeing her partner in such a state, Coco tried to pep her up. "Come on, maybe that's all of the gruesome stuff that happens? It's only the start of the movie," she lied through her teeth. She knew better than to believe that. If a movie was willing to pull that as its opening shot, then that could only mean worse things were in store.

Naturally, Velvet didn't buy it for a second. "Do you hate me? Why did you bring me here?" she groaned at Coco. The best Coco could do was shake her head. There wasn't much she could say that could convince Velvet otherwise right now.

All Jaune could sputter at the scene was "W-well… that was… something?"

"Yeah…" agreed Pyrrha.

It was a nice taste of what was to come.

xxx

Later on in the movie, one of the crew members of the salvage boat who found the titular ghost ship, Greer, come face to face with a beautiful, naked woman. In fact, it's the same singing woman from earlier. Greer is seduced by the ghostly singer's looks and state of undress. However, as this is a horror movie with evil ghosts in it, it's mandated that the ghost kill the man. And exactly that is accomplished, by him falling down an elevator shaft to his death. Good job, sexy evil ghost.

Jaune, trying to keep up his sense of chivalry and honor, tried his best to act nonchalant at the sexy ghost. However, between his brief spots of unabashed staring and his friend downstairs telling him that he's up and ready now, Jaune was failing. But, he had to try for Pyrrha's sake! He could at least try to show that he was completely loyal to her attractiveness!

Pyrrha, on the other hand, was closely studying Jaune out of the corner of her vision. She couldn't blame him if he felt something. That was his body going through its natural processes. In fact, she kind of pitied him for trying so hard when he didn't have to. But, she also admitted to herself that it was nice to see Jaune try so hard for her. Or, at least it was, until Coco started to tease him about his VERY obvious pants tent.

"Hey, big boy. Did you smuggle your gun in your pants, or what?" the beret wearing girl snickered at him. "Or are you just happy to be surrounded by three girls at once?"

"I-it's nothing of the s-sort…" Jaune said, shifting uncomfortably in his chair.

"I dunno, you seem to like it…" Coco purred, leaning in closer to Jaune.

Jaune was in easily one of the most uncomfortable situations ever right now. The only thing that could make it worse was… Oh, there it was. He could feel Pyrrha's aura flare up in anger. He let out a small sigh, preparing for the ensuing disaster.

"Aww, are you a big enough man to handle all thre—MMFFTH—" Coco's aggressive teasing was cut off by Pyrrha leaning over Jaune and gabbing her face. Then, without a second thought, Pyrrha rammed the back of Coco's head into the wall, knocking her out instantly.

As the leader of Team CVFY slumped into an unconscious heap, Pyrrha gasped in shock at her own actions. Jaune and Velvet shared her sentiment as they stared at Pyrrha.

"Oh no! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" Pyrrha vehemently apologized, shaking Coco in hopes of waking her. It did no good. The fashionista was out cold.

"I didn't want to do that!" Pyrrha then said to her friends.

"Then why did you?!" Jaune asked in shock.

"She—I—She was bullying and coming onto you! It was wrong on many counts!" was the athlete's justification.

"Still…" Jaune grumbled. This whole date was a god damn mess. At no point did he expect to see a friend of a friend knocked out by his girlfriend. There was simply too much violence involving friends here!

If Jaune was the drinking type, he would have the urge to drain an entire brewery. And by the looks of it, Velvet was no better. She looked about one step removed from pissing herself from fright.

And the movie wasn't even over yet.

xxx

When Coco came to, the movie was wrapping up.

Apparently, this whole ghost ship business was caused by a demon making people kill each other for gold. That way, he got all the souls that Hell wanted as part of a quota. Or something like that. At this point, those conscious enough to watch didn't care. This movie just wasn't very good.

"Unghhh… whaa?" Coco groaned as she sat up in her seat. Man, her head felt like shit right now.

"Oh, you're up!" Velvet observed, lifting her gaze from her scroll. That was the best way to avoid all the scary stuff happening on screen. In fact, she may or may not have sneaked a few pictures of Coco's exposed midriff while nobody was looking. But nobody but her needed to know that.

"What happened?" questioned Coco, rubbing her forehead.

Pyrrha nibbled on the inside of her cheek in anxiety, before fessing up to what she had done.

"I, perhaps, maybe knocked you out…" she admitted.

"Oh. You've got spunk," flatly stated Coco, leaning her head back.

That made everyone blink in confusion.

"You're not, uh, angry?" asked Jaune.

"Oh, don't get me wrong, I'm pissed the fuck off. But, I feel too much like shit to do a damn thing. Just take the compliment," the fashionista groaned at her assailant. Even she had to admit, that red-head could pack a real punch. Props to her, she guessed.

"... Once again, I'd like to say I'm sorry. Terribly, terribly sorry! Will you accept my apology?" Pyrrha pleaded.

Coco considered Pyrrha's offer. On the one hand, this could be good enough material to hold over this girl's head. But, on the other one, the look Velvet was giving her was pretty much begging to let this one slide. Well, she just couldn't let her long-eared friend down. That, and she just wanted to avoid the later headache of having to deal with a disapproving Velvet. A grumpy Velvet is a pouty, mopey one. So, that got rid of that option.

"…Sure, yeah, fine. I accept," Coco agreed.

"Thank you!" Pyrrrha said with a winning smile. It was the smile that her coaches always told her to give, especially if it was for accepting an award. So, if anything, it was kind of appropriate here.

"Guys, the movie's ending," Jaune pointed out. That got the other's attention, and all f them looked at the screen.

Indeed, now the credits were scrolling. In all of the commotion of Coco waking up and Pyrrha's apology, they had missed the ending. Oh well, it wasn't like any of them were very invested in the story at all. If anything, the things that happened in-between themselves was more engaging, even if it was in a terrible way. Wow, Ghost Ship wasn't good.

The assembled group blankly stared at the screen for a minute in silence. It came down to Jaune to break it.

"I didn't like it."

"Me either," added Pyrrha.

"Same," chimed in Velvet.

"Meh, whatever," Coco said, trying to stand up from her chair. However, that blow to the head must have scrambled something up, because her first step sent her tumbling face first into Velvet's lap.

"I—I– Ack" the rabbit girl sputtered, unable to compute the fact that a pretty girl's face accidentally buried itself in her crotch. The fact that she could hear Jaune and Pyrrha giggle a little didn't make her focus any more, either.

With some difficulty, Coco managed to pull her face out of Vevlet's jeans and stand up. She took her time to straighten her beret, before saying, "This never happened, got it?"

"Y-yeah, s-sure," Jaune said through his chuckles. Pyrrha nodded alongside him.

"Good. Now, if you'll excuse me, it's been an… experience meeting you. Velvet?" bid Coco, while gesturing for Velvet to get up and leave.

Standing up, Velvet quickly turned to the Arkos pair and said, "It was nice seeing you guys. See you at Beacon later?"

"Of course!" exclaimed Pyrrha, with that winning smile again.

"Right. Have a nice trip back, Velvet!" Jaune said as he waved goodbye at Coco and Velvet.

Without much further ado, Coco and Velvet left the theater, and back to whatever the hell they were doing before they arrived here.

Once that pair was gone, Jaune turned to face Pyrrha. There was just something that he needed to tell her right now, and it was incredibly important to any future dates that they may have.

"We're going to a different theater next time."

"Agreed," nodded Pyrrha.

xxx

I think we can gather a few things from this story. A) The only thing that makes Ghost Ship watchable are the parts where people are cut in half, and a sexy ghost briefly appears. And B) Being Velvet is nothing but suffering, much like Ren in my other stories. Oh well, who's to say things won't get better for her? Only time and future stories can tell. Also, before I go, I also have to credit that little snippet of Gold Digger by Kanye West I used in here. I don't want to be sued to shit. Okay, now that the legal stuff is out of the way, feel free to leave a review or something. I always appreciate feedback!

This is The Draigg, and I'm signing off for now!