Clarkson speaks for England. But on 'good riddance' to the Scots, he needs to check his sat nav

Jeremy Clarkson gets noticed because he says in public things that many people are too scared to say in private – though they might well think them.



In the last few years, as you have probably noticed, he has insulted immigration officials at Heathrow, sanitation in India, public sector strikers, “Johnny Suicide” (people who jump in front of trains), “lazy” Mexicans, special needs pupils, female pedestrians wearing burkas, Malaysian cars and their makers, German sat nav that “only goes to Poland”, and Gordon Brown for being a “one-eyed Scottish idiot”. See below for the full list.



Top Gear presenter Clarkson’s talent lies in his general contempt for political correctness and his particular flair for making fun of national stereotypes. In his world, the English always wear bowler hats and have stiff upper lips, the Italians are hysterical, the Germans authoritarian, the Australians crude and the Americans brash and fat.

Speaking for Brits: Clarkson says in public things that many people are too scared to say in private

He has also said that he could not care less if Scotland voted for independence and quit the 300-year-old union with England. In fact he put it more colourfully. “If the Scottish people want to break away, then I shall stand on Hadrian’s Wall with a teary handkerchief, and say, “Good riddance to the lot of you, and take your stupid bagpipes with you.”



With such words, Clarkson speaks for many down south. The endless Scottish whingeing about being ruled by London and their tendency to blame the English for all their ills has soured this ancient marriage. The English resent subidising their ungrateful tartan cousins; the Scots claim the oil is theirs.



Yet the latest opinion poll suggests that Jeremy’s “good riddance” stance is still a minority view. According to ComRes, the majority of the English and the Welsh (57 per cent) want to keep the Scots on board. Only 28 per cent favour his solution of a divorce.



This is roughly in line with the latest poll of the Scots, which indicated that only one in three wanted to kiss goodbye to the sassanachs.



Into this thicket stumbles Labour leader Ed Miliband who today defends the Union and criticises Clarkson and the Scottish National Party for their pessimistic and narrow views of national identity.



Miliband also bent the knee to the English, saying his party had been too slow to acknowledge their claims to a separate national identity.



But it is hard to avoid the conclusion that Ed is being self-serving. Of Scotland’s 59 MPs, 41 are Labour and only one is a Conservative. Of course, Miliband wants to keep the Union. Without its Scottish contingent, Labour would have scant hope of ever winning a UK election.



Equally, with the Scots turning their backs on the Tories seemingly for the forseeable future, why would Conservatives want to sustain arrangements that keep their main rivals at least close to power?

The wit and wisdom of Jeremy Clarkson 1. May 2012 - Heathrow

The outspoken Top Gear presenter claimed that the long delays at Heathrow border control were because immigration officials were no longer allowed to use their discretion to wave certain passengers through. Clarkson said: “Nobody is waved through any more. The result is plain for all to see. There’s a two-hour wait."

“And the problem is: the only possible solution is to introduce a bit of racism.” He added: “Nobody likes a racist. Nobody likes prejudice. It has no place at work, at play, or in government. But at Heathrow airport? Hmmm.”

2. January 2012- Indians

Clarkson outraged some members of the Indian community with controversial remarks about the country's clothing, trains, food and history. At one point, Clarkson appeared to make light of the lack of sanitation for poor residents by driving around slums in a Jaguar fitted with a toilet. Complaints to the BBC ensued.

3. November 2011 – Striking workers

The public sector strikers felt Clarkson’s wrath in a now infamous interview on the BBC’s The One Show. “I would take them outside and execute them in front on their families” was his response – although Clarkson did applaud the capital’s empty roads, making travelling by his preferred mode of transport easier. As well as the usual complaints to the BBC, Clarkson also received 314 messages of support.

4. December 2011 – suicide

In his column for The Sun Clarkson described those who choose to jump in front of trains as "Johnny Suicide" and argues that following a death, trains should carry on their journeys as soon as possible. He adds: "The train cannot be removed nor the line re-opened until all of the victim's body has been recovered. And sometimes the head can be half a mile away from the feet." ... "Change the driver, pick up the big bits of what's left of the victim, get the train moving as quickly as possible and let foxy woxy and the birds nibble away at the smaller, gooey parts that are far away or hard to find."

5. February 2011 – Mexicans

Double-trouble ensued when Clarkson and his co-present Richard Hammond were accused of making “derogatory, cruel, xenophobic, discriminatory and racist” comments. The BBC was forced to apologise to the Mexican ambassador over stereotyping Mexicans, saying a Mexican car would fit the national characteristics of “a lazy, feckless, flatulent oaf with a moustache, leaning against a fence asleep”. Clarkson argued they would not receive any complaints over the remarks because “at the Mexican embassy, the ambassador is going to be sitting there with a remote control like this [snores]. They won’t complain, it’s fine.” The Mexican government promptly complained and demanded an apology.

6. August 2010 - Special needs

Clarkson’s comments in summer 2010 provoked a heated response from the National Autistic Society. The presenter, comparing two Ferraris, the 51-year-old described the older one as a “simpleton” that should be called the “430 Speciale needs” instead of the 430 Speciale.

7. July 2010 – Burkas and lingerie

Linking scantily-clad women with distracting driving was always going to be a recipe for controversy, and Clarkson didn’t disappoint. “Honestly, the burka doesn’t work. I was in a cab in Piccadilly the other day when a woman in a full burka crossing the road in front of me tripped over the pavement, went head over heels and up it came, red g-string and stockings.”

8. November 2008 - Lorry drivers

Referring to Yorkshire Ripper Peter Sutcliffe during a segment on driving lorries, Clarkson described the experience as: “Change gear, change gear, change gear, check mirror, murder a prostitute, change gear, change gear, murder. That’s a lot of effort in a day.” Despite numerous complaints to the BBC and Ofcom, and a call from an MP for him to lose his job, Clarkson gave only a mock apology on the following week’s show.

9. April 2007 - The Perodua Kelisa

Clarkson angered Malaysia when he described a car made in the country as the worst in the world. After attacking the Perodua Kelisa with a sledgehammer and blowing it up, Clarkson likened its name to that of a disease and implied that it was built by “jungle people who wear leaves as shoes”.

10. December 2005 - Germans

The journalist courted controversy after he gave a Nazi salute during a segment about German company BMW during an episode of Top Gear and suggested that one of its cars would have a sat-nav that “only goes to Poland”. Clarkson was warned by the German government that pulling such a stunt on German television would have resulted in a criminal record, and possible imprisonment.

11. February 2009 - Gordon Brown

Clarkson hit headlines again when he dismissed then Prime Minister Gordon Brown as a “one-eyed Scottish idiot” during a press conference in Australia. Clarkson refused to apologise for calling Brown an idiot, but did apologise for attacking the Prime Minister’s appearance.

12. October 2009 - Black Muslim lesbians

In the Top Gear magazine Clarkson courted controversy when he accused television producers of being fixated with having “black Muslim lesbians” on programmes to balance out the number of white heterosexual males.

13. July 2008 – Drink driving

The presenter was censured by the BBC’s governing body for glamorising drink-driving after he was filmed sipping on a gin and tonic behind the wheel of a pickup truck during a special episode of Top Gear in which he and May tried to drive to the Magnetic North Pole.

14.) October 1998 - South Korea

Clarkson was accused of racism by the South Korean government after attributing the lacklustre design of a new Hyundai to the Korean origin of the company and its designer, who he accused of having "probably eaten a spaniel for lunch"





Labour, as John Major rightly pointed out in the 1997 election campaign, is primarily responsible for the fragility of the Union. It introduced devolution in the hope of appeasing the nationalist tiger while retaining its power base. All it has done is to play into the hands of Alex Salmond and his SNP separatists.



Perhaps a combination of the recession and the patriotic sentiments stirred up by the Diamond Jubilee lie behind the surge in nationwide support for keeping the Anglo-Scottish marriage afloat. The Scots dare not take a risk on going it alone while the Eurozone trembles on the brink of break-up. The bedraggled but unbowed flag-waving legions of the English street-parties are still in euphoric mood about Britain’s heroic past.

