Dearest readers, allow me to be a complete nerd for this post. I have been engulfed in a cartoon for the past year. I have watched, rewatched and consumed as much Steven Universe as I possibly could. The show is about a boy who is half human, half alien race “gem” and is the most positive character on television. I was won over the instant I heard the phrase, “If every pork chop were perfect, we wouldn’t have hot dogs.” That journey has brought us here today to witness my creation and intake of a dog inspired by an episode of the show. So readers, if you are not interested or haven’t stopped reading to watch an episode then came back, I warn you that I am going to go on and on about this show while I eat this dog.

Why yes, there were several moments I questioned my decision.

So, there is an episode called “Together Breakfast” where Steven is waiting for his friends, the Crystal Gems, to eat breakfast with him. It starts as just toaster waffles and syrup and the longer he waits the more he adds on. Next goes popcorn, whipped cream and a perfectly placed strawberry.

Now let me explain why I chose to make this into a hot dog. Not only is there a quote about hot dogs in this show but the title sequence ends with Steven taking a bite of a hot dog. That, and it hit me like a ton of bricks that a waffle bun might be fun. Do I need to explain why I’m eating weird hot dogs? No, because you’re here and you get the picture.

I originally planned for toaster waffles but I have honestly never liked them. They always taste plain and would probably be too crispy for folding. So I drug out the waffle iron and my bread pan.

da Vinci had his tools, I have mine.

It went surprisingly well with the plan of getting it formed in the iron and toast it in the oven so it will stay folded. I’m champing at the bit to tell y’all how it tasted so I’m slightly rushing the details here. It was a fairly easy assembly though. I chose chicken/pork dogs because beef just seemed over the top and crazy. That, and I would see the traditional dogs being a Steven choice so, let us keep this dog canon.

I’m not going to lie, I had regrets before eating it and it definitely reminded me of the weird stuff kids would put together and call a meal. That was for sure what was going on here and in the episode. The moment my stomach flipped though and honestly made me second guess the whole thing was the maple syrup.

Try to get this image out of your head.

These two things don’t belong together. I took this picture and immediately sprinkled popcorn on top to somehow make it look less unsettling.

For some reason this looks more reasonable.

Anyway, whipped cream and as perfectly placed strawberry as possible later it was chow time. I’ve been pretty excited to eat it this week so when I finally bit into it it just came together nicely. Honestly it tasted more like a portable breakfast and I can only tell the popcorn was in there by the kernels left over but it wasn’t too bad! If you want to recreate this at home, I definitely recommend the chicken/pork dog to stay true to an actual hot dog. A sausage or bratwurst would just turn into one of those pancake sausage on a stick deals and those are easier to make.

Waffle hot dog buns need to become a thing. They hold up well structurally and it’s like eating a toasted bun but crispier. The syrup, in all honesty, went with the hot dog upon eating and I was eating it over the sink just in case but there was a good amount of syrup in there that it was present but didn’t tear up the waffle bun.

I recommend adventurously frugal eaters try this and Steven Universe fans give it a shot while binge watching this show (because you know you do all the time). Pearl may not approve but I think Amethyst would have the same reaction as Fionna.

Thanks for bearing with me dog readers! If you have any suggestions for hot dogs either on the town or make at home do tell! This post has also opened up possibilities for more “inspired” dogs from entertainment or trends so let me know if something good is going on.