All alone but for her personal barman, Sue tries to make the best of the cavernous Regent Suite

I’m bouncing on the bed in the most expensive suite at sea when its owner walks in. Whoops. Frank Del Rio, head honcho of the upmarket Regent Seven Seas Cruises, is showing off his posh new ship, the Seven Seas Explorer, to the board, as if on a royal walkabout. We civilians have been allowed a sneak peek at the £7,500-a-night Regent Suite before the boss takes up residence for the maiden voyage of the 750-passenger, £340m ship.

Much of that cash seems to have been lavished on the suite. The mattress I’ve just bounced on cost £68,000 (made by the UK firm Savoir, Beds it’s filled with horsetail hair) and £45,000 to install. The custom-built Steinway in the living room came in at £190,000.