In the middle of the Oberlin College campus stands a monument to its namesake, the Alsatian pastor John Frederick Oberlin (1740-1826). It depicts a children’s game that consists of a piece of paper folded and decorated so that it looks like a bird from one side and a flower from the other. Oberlin used such a device for marriage counseling. He would sit Hans down on one side and Erika on the other and ask each what the folded paper depicted. When they came up with different answers, Oberlin would explain that spouses who see things differently can have happy and fulfilled lives by understanding and learning from each...