But the other day, when Stanger went out on international television talking about her dating rules, journalists, bloggers and audiences were not impressed. First she slammed gay men for not being into monogamy, saying that, while she tries to "help" them find love, it was simply a hopeless endeavour. "I have tried to curb you people," she told executive producer (and openly gay man) Andy Cohen. "When was the last time you had a boyfriend?" Yeouch. Then she went on to slam smart, single women for being, er, too smart. "Men like smart women after marriage. They don't like them before they are married. You got to dumb it down a little because men are not that bright."

This one had me a little confused. So I should be dumbing myself down to get a man? It simply doesn't make sense. And it's not the first time I've heard this sentiment expressed either. The "smart woman v hot handbag" debate is one that I often engage in with my single, smart, successful girlfriends. "Why do so many men trade us in for ditzy bimbos?" they often ask. Why do men prefer to bonk (and marry) their secretaries over their bosses, as Forbes magazine once reported? And are men really so afraid of being challenged by a smart woman that they'd ditch her for someone with less of a brain who doesn't challenge them and simply goes with the flow?

No idea. But economist Ray Fisman concurs, writing in Slate magazine about his observations when he analysed a bunch of speed dating events at a bar near Columbia University over a period of two years. "Men avoided women whom they perceived to be smarter than themselves," he said. "The same held true for measures of career ambition - a woman could be ambitious, just not more ambitious than the man considering her for a date." Why? "We males are a gender of fragile egos in search of a pretty face and are threatened by brains or success that exceeds our own." Ahem. Of course not all men are like this. According to a study carried out by the University of Iowa, men actually increasingly want to date smart, successful women. This according to the poll, which has been conducted every decade since 1939 and which asks participants to rank a list of 18 characteristics they would want in a partner.

In 2008, the poll found that men ranked intelligence fourth. In 1939, intelligence came 11th. "Good financial prospect" moved to 12th place in 2008, a shift from its 17th-place ranking in 1939 and last-place ranking in 1967. But here's the caveat: when it comes to smart women, not all men are created equal. While most men would not be too hasty to admit they'd prefer to be the smart one in a relationship, the men in my office (whom I urged to be honest) agreed. Said one twentysomething: "Yes, I want to date the bar tender, the student or the girl who is a secretary. I can be the man in the relationship and she appreciates everything I do for her. It's simply much easier. I don't have to work as hard." Said another: "Some guys want a girl who makes them feel smart and manly. If you make him feel stupid it shows he doesn't want an equal. So I guess it says more about the man than the state of relationships. That being said, I do find it easier dating girls who aren't that ambitious."

So what does it say about a man who prefers a handbag to a partner or an equal? A lot. But if Stanger's theory is correct, smart women had better hide their degrees and skip the political chat for more superficial, light conversations. At least if they want to get married any time soon. I'm not one to judge, but all I know is that if you're a smart, successful woman and the men you're dating find you intimidating, start hanging out with a different calibre of man. There is bound to be someone out there who will appreciate you for yourself. And, despite what Stanger might say, the best relationships are the ones in which you don't have to change a thing about yourself because your partner loves you just the way you are ... What do you think? What type of guys want to date women who dumb aren't smarter than themselves? Is it an ego thing? Are there men out there who actually like women to be their equal? Have a great weekend and happy dating.xx