And now, for those who want to know what’s going on but don’t want to keep up: An abridging of today’s story.





Tezzeret: Soldiers! Take all the inventions immediately! Crush our enemies! Why are Jace and Liliana even here?!?



Soldiers: Yes, sir!



(They beat civilians, steal inventions, and arrest people)

Dovin Baan: You know, you could get this done without inciting a riot if you were willing to take another five minutes to actually explain to the citizens what the hell is going on.

Tezzeret: NO TIME! The Gatewatch is after me! Hey, Dovin, buddy, pal, who I love, how about you handle the Gatewatch that you totally invited here?

Dovin: How about I keep your stupid master plan from destroying the city?

Tezzeret: I’ll give you a Masterpiece.

Dovin: No.

Tezzeret: Twoooo masterpieces?

Dovin: No.

Tezzeret: Literally everything except Rashmi’s teleporter which I’m going to use for my evil plot next set!

Dovin: …Alright.

(Dovin heads off to deal with the Gatewatch. The city is rioting around him.)

(Bastion Mastadon attacks)

Soldiers: Oh no, this elephant is going to kill us all!

Dovin Baan: Have you tried attacking the weak point for massive damage?

(Soldiers attack the weak point for massive damage. Bastion Mastadon is defeated.)



Dovin: Citizens! This is what the hell’s going on! Observe as I explain clearly and precisely the things Tezzeret wouldn’t because he was panicking, so everybody can line up in an orderly fashion, give your inventions to us for careful storage, and then return to your homes for tea.



(Citizens cease panicking.)

Dovin: Well, that was easy. Now, to stop the Gatewatch… and then play with all the Inventions.

