You just can’t make this kind of thing up. You’re no doubt familiar with The Great New Zealand Gun Grab that’s currently going on in the Pacific island nation. Prime Minister Jacinda Ardern let no grass grow under her feet as she rushed to outlaw all virtually all semi-automatic firearms after a self-described eco-fascist murdered 50 people in two mosques earlier this month.

But as gun owners here are fond of pointing out, firearm bans, magazine capacity limits and other gun control laws never seem to affect criminals. They tend to ignore those kinds of legal niceties. So the result of grabbing law-abiding Kiwis’ guns will be a lot of disarmed, vulnerable, law-biding Kiwis.

Now, a helpful article from the New Zealand Herald has confirmed exactly what we’ve been saying all along. They went out and interviewed a local mob boss and asked him how he plans to deal with the gun ban.

Sonny Fatu, president of the Waikato branch of the Mongrel Mob, said that, while some members of the gang may have illegal guns, they will not be handing them in as they are necessary to their protection. “Will gangs get rid of their weapons? No. Because of who we are, we can’t guarantee our own safety,” he told Stuff.

Who could possibly expect gentlemen engaged in dangerous activities like meth production, and drug distribution to give up their firearms? The good news is, Sonny promises that regular New Zealanders have nothing to worry about.

He admitted many of the gang’s estimated 1000 associates hold illegal firearms but says they should be trusted not to harm innocent people. … He says the public should not be afraid of gang members’ guns as they are used in gang-on-gang violence only.

Well that’s a relief. The Mongrels promise to keep the shootouts just between gang members and will do their level best to avoid collateral damage.

“The attacks between our organisations are gang-on-gang, they do not involve the non-gang members. Although there may be peripheral damage and violence that occasionally spills out into the public eye, it is absolutely and without intention for any harm to be caused to non-gang members,” he said.

The Herald article doesn’t quote anyone from the Mongrels’ rival gangs, so Kiwis will just have to hope that they’ll be just as scrupulous about where and on whom they open fire as Sonny’s boys.