(All images by the incredible Liora K





Things that I wish I knew earlier Things that I've learned in real life.

Things people really need to talk about more:

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What else belongs on this list?





[EDIT: I'd like to add, because apparently it's necessary, that if you post a fat shaming or hateful comment below it will be deleted. You are allowed to have your opinions, but this blog is a safe space for all bodies to learn to love themselves. Comments that allow reasonable discussion are welcome. I'm the queen here, and what I say goes. Questions? Share it in the comments below, and lets keep this conversation going.[EDIT: I'd like to add, because apparently it's necessary, that if you post a fat shaming or hateful comment below it will be deleted. You are allowed to have your opinions, but this blog is a safe space for all bodies to learn to love themselves. Comments that allow reasonable discussion are welcome. I'm the queen here, and what I say goes. Questions? Here.

. Lets just get this out of the way right off the bat. In the last few months, I've had over 30 women ranging from rail thin to extra large naked in my bed and I would routinely ask them to hug their knees. You wont believe this... ALL OF THEM HAD TUMMY ROLLS. Not one was exempt. Even my super fabulous professional model 6 foot tall and some amazing Katie had rolls. The stomach pictures turned into some of my favorite images from the project... so quit thinking they're bad, and try accepting ( dare I say embracing? ) yours!I tend not to, and it's a cryin' shame. When people genuinely compliment you, it's because they really see it. Try to not dismiss their perspective as wrong and assume that you know better. They see all of you. We see our flaws. BelieveNo its not, go fuck yourself. No, not you. The people who tell us that, silly.There is a distinct difference. I grew up in a culture that would deem "unattractive" women as "special spirits". A degrading categorization that implied that the only thing worthwhile was whatever was inside. Well, yeah. We are all much much more than our bodies, but our bodies are a beautiful part of us too. Beauty comes from the inside AND the outside. I am of the firm belief that every person is beautiful, and so this leaves the inside to be the part that is the most telling when it comes to true "beauty"."Wait, whaaaaaa Jes? You're full of shit." Nope. This just happened to me for the first time in... six years? I'm considerably heavier than I was 6 years ago (like... 70 pounds heavier) and so when I ran up to my friend Eric for a hug and he picked me up with my heels in the air... it left me breathless. I had forgotten that it was possible; I had accepted a life void of being lifted. So exhilarating. Eric didn't suffer any injuries and walked away unscathed.Many believe that someone who's fat needs to exercise as much as possible in order to prove that they're committed to becoming "less fat". As if accepting one's bodywould be a sin, and that's just silly. Yes, exercising has wonderful physical and mental benefits, but you don't owe it to anyone else to make an effort to change your body unless you wanna. You do not have to alter yourself to be okay. Period.This will be the scariest thing you will ever do, and that's okay. It will also be the most amazing (albeit super gradual) experience you will ever have. It doesn't make you narcissistic. It doesn't make you vain. It is liberating in every form of the word. Read this. No really. Read it . And then realize that we've grown up learning and internalizing that we are not okay. For me, that's 26 years of self-hate indoctrination and brainwashing. It's going to take a lot longer than you think to reverse this thinking, and it's definitely not going to happen overnight. Allow yourself to have "weak" days. Cry, mourn, sob, yell, throw things. Whichever. Then get up, brush yourself off, give the media the finger, and move forward because you're a warrior.Don't stress. This is totally normal.I thought that my best bet in life was to find a partner whomy fat. Pause. Give me a minute to hang my head and shake it at myself. Not only are there people who adore "thick" women, but a LOT of them who prefer it. This eventually ends up in an interesting territory which Marianne talks about here , but the point that I'm trying to make goes back to the "despite vs because of" argument. Here is what you need to know: you do NOT need to settle for a lover who is "okay" with your body. You have the right (and millions of opportunities) to find someone who is infatuated with your body. You deserve to be worshiped, woman!I know that hot is relative and all inclusive depending on who you chat with, but for these purposes, lets talk about the "universally attractive" kind of hot. Y'know, the kind fat chicks don't deserve? We want to pretend that we don't know what I'm talking about, but lets be real; we totally do. The fact that "fat chicks bang 'hot' guys" was one of the most powerful realizations I've had thus far. In line with the above paragraph, I knew that there would bethat would find me attractive but the pool would be small (because of my body) and potentially full of guys I didn't personally find sexy. So I would have to settle for anyone that would take me. After all, how could a conventionally gorgeous man (tall and with tattoos of course) like fat chicks? Weh-he-hell, let me tell you somethin': through various sites, events, parties, and corner store meetings, I found myself with overmen who were champing at the bit to get with this.who had to sift through and pick the hottest of the hot. Ladies, over a hundred. "Girls" showed what society thinks aboutwhen Hannah's character has a weekend romance with an attractive and wealthy doctor. People flipped their shit. "Patrick Wilson is so hot he would never do Lena Dunham" was the most eye catching. Wilson's wife responded to that rubbish here , but the tweet speaks volumes about what the majority of people think unconventional women deserve . Jesus christ, it's annoying. I won't spill the details of my bedroom coming and goings, but lets just say this: the hottest guys in Tucson and I get along just fine. I would recommend reading Emily's article on xoJane for a better explanation of what I'm struggling to say. Know this: the myth that "atypical" bodies can't be paired with "typically attractive" bodies is false. Women need to know that all bodies can be paired with all bodies.. Just trust me on this one, what you fear is totally false. Here's a great article that changed my life.Join the revolution. Throw style rules out the window. Wear the tutu. Wear the horizontal stripes. Wear the turquoise skinny jeans. Wear the see-through blouse. Wear the bikini. Wear the sweat pants. Wear the shirt that says "Does this shirt make me look fat?". Wear whatever it is that makes you happy. This is your life.I'm saying this with a straight face and seriously meaningful look where I maintain eye contact for an uncomfortable amount of time. I know you don't feel like you fit into the category of gorgeous that our world creates. I know that its hard. I know that its a daily battle. But fuck their fascist beauty standards. The second you stop looking for a skinny model in your mirror and start looking at YOU... is the second you will start to appreciate what you are. Stop looking for flaws. Stop looking for differences. You are perfect. You are more than enough. You are the best thing that has ever happened to you. And you are fucking beautiful.Say it with me.