A resource guide on the new sex-ed curriculum is making the rounds in the Muslim community, aimed at addressing parents’ concerns that their children will be getting information that directly conflicts with their religious beliefs.

Farrah Marfatia, principal of the Maingate Islamic Academy in Mississauga, wrote the guide, titled How to talk to your Muslim child about topics in the Ontario Ministry of Education’s Health Education Curriculum, 2015, over the summer, as a way to educate parents on what their children will be learning in class — and help them prepare for those sensitive discussions in advance.

How did this guide come about?

When the new curriculum came out, there was a lot of information and misinformation that was being thrown around. Personally, I was also confused about it, so when it came out I first read the document. It’s a huge document, and what kids will be learning is not all in one place, it’s scattered across the document. So, it started as a summary for me.

As an Islamic school principal, private schools are not required to cover the curriculum. But there are a lot of Muslim kids in the public school system, because parents can’t afford Islamic school, or there is no room in Islamic schools. And many parents don’t have the opportunity to home-school even if they want to. And I was thinking about those parents — how do I help public school parents who have no other choice to understand the curriculum from their religious point of view?

How did it come together?

I thought I should reach out to people in the public school system. So after I wrote it, I reached out to guidance counsellors and teachers in the public system, and they reviewed it and gave it their stamp of approval. And then, from a religious perspective, I consulted with three imams. One of the imams is also a certified teacher. We had a number of meetings, and they gave me their views from a religious perspective. Overall, about 20 people reviewed it.

We want to be clear that, from an Islamic perspective, the curriculum is not age-appropriate. But this guide is responding to the curriculum, because it’s here, so we have to deal with it.

Why is there a need for it?

I am a mom, so I couldn’t remove that perspective as I went through the curriculum. I kept thinking: How would I teach this to my own children? And I started thinking about other parents, and I thought they must feel powerless. Here’s this daunting curriculum that’s 300 pages long, and I thought: How will they navigate this? I just wanted to empower them, so they could see in very easy language what their kids will learn at every stage. And then, how do we approach it Islamically, when kids want to talk about it? We believe parents are the first educators, and this guide helps them to be the first educators.

What has the response been?

The response has been extremely positive. People are having a hard time understanding what’s going to happen in September. The summary provided them with that, and then gave them a jumping point to start discussions in their own homes. Without much advertising, the document has already had more than 2,500 views. I am so proud of our community leaders because they have backed it up, and see value in it.

And the good thing is, the document is one of those things that will continue to evolve. It is not stagnant. I am already working on a second edition with comments I have received. It truly is a document for the parents and by the parents.

If people take one thing from it, what would that be?

I want people to be empowered. I don’t want them to be scared anymore. There’s really nothing out there that addresses the curriculum from an Islamic context. There is a huge vacuum, and I want there to be something in that vacuum.

EXCERPTS FROM THE GUIDE

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Farrah Marfatia says her guide, “How to talk to your Muslim child about topics in the Ontario Ministry of Education’s Health Education Curriculum, 2015,” addresses both mandatory material that will be taught and the optional “prompts” meant to help teachers respond to questions, to give parents an idea of everything that could be addressed.

Here are some samples from the guide.

On Grade 1 students learning “to identify body parts by their proper names, including genitalia”: Parents should advise children to never allow anyone to touch their private parts and to immediately tell their parents if someone does. For parents whose children have been taught the correct names of the genitalia in school, parents should advise their children to use these words only with a “trusted adult,” when someone other than their parents have touched their private area, in case of an emergency and/or when they feel pain or have been hurt in that area. A parent should explain that these words are “private words” because they are used to describe “private parts.” They should not be used “for fun” or as a joke.

On Grade 3 students learning about homosexuality, within the context of being respectful of differences: Allah created men and women as complements of one another, each with their own special qualities so that they could help one another live happily. Since Allah created us, he knows what is best for us.

Allah wants us to be upright and spread goodness through the world. When a man and woman get married and have children together, they create another life that can help spread the teachings of Allah. In this sense, we are not fully complete without our special companion.

You might notice that there are some families that have 2 moms or 2 dads. Although we should treat everyone with kindness, this type of relationship is displeasing to Allah. In Islam only a man can marry a woman and only a woman can marry a man — we are not allowed to marry people of the same gender.

On gender identity, discussed in Grade 5: If you are born a boy, your gender identity is Male. If you are born a girl, your gender identity is Female. You cannot be a boy if you are born a girl and you cannot be a girl if you are born a boy. Allah does not make mistakes. We cannot go against what Allah wants for us because Allah knows what is best for us.

On the topic of masturbation, which may be discussed in Grade 7: Parents are encouraged to begin speaking to their children about masturbation. Parents should bear in mind that these urges do exist and should approach the situation in a manner that builds parental trust. This requires parents to engage in an open dialogue with their children and avoid shaming their children. Masturbation is not encouraged in Islam and should therefore be discouraged. Parents should encourage their children to perform voluntary fasts if they feel their sexual urges are strong. This will help curb their sexual appetite. Here it should be noted that there are differing religious opinions on the subject of masturbation.