It’s been a while since I’ve gone full on sexual on here, and I feel like it’s time to change it up a bit. What better way to do that than to write about why you should let someone choke you. Yeah that’s right. I said choke. And spank. And bite. Pull hair. Scratch. It’s all good. Today we’re gonna look at the liberating and oh so amazing world of rough sex.

All it means is that she knows what she wants.

Now before we go into it, lets clear some stuff up about the stigma around rough sex. From my experience, most of these are about women and what it says about them if they like it this way. Firstly, the fact that a woman may choose to enjoy being dominated in the bedroom does not mean she is a slut. Nor does it mean that because she loves sex to a heightened degree that she is easy. It does not mean that she has less class, anymore than it means that a bloke who likes to be dominated in the bedroom is less of a man. All it means is that she knows what she wants. So get off your high horse if you’re one of those people. Also, it is not degrading to women. I’m sure there are feminists who would read this and disagree, but I would simply point out that if that is their view-point then they are essentially disputing a woman’s choice to enjoy sex however she chooses and are taking away from a womans power to CHOOSE to be dominated sexually. It’s sex. Some people like it rough. Get over it.

A mutual understanding of wanting to push each other’s limits and explore where sex can really go.

Annnnnnyways, onto the good stuff. When people think about rough sex, I think there is this idea that it is just some guy fucking a girl really hard whilst pulling her hair. Incorrect. To say that is like saying the Mona Lisa was just a picture of a woman smiling. That’s what it is, but that does not capture the essence of the piece, or with the sex, the essence of the act. See, it’s all about the chemistry between you and the seductive, intoxicating feeling that the roughness provides. It’s quite deep really. Primal. To strip away all of your insecurities and all of your socially inflicted preconceptions and give yourself and your body to someone completely. Letting them own every part of you. It’s not about disrespect, but rather respect. A mutual understanding of wanting to push each others limits and explore where sex can really go. And more than that, it’s about a hunger. Wanting to fuck someone so much that simply having sex is just not enough.

From my point of view, this is kind of how it goes…

Kissing her. Soft at first but always with a tension built up by the restraint of holding back the torrent of passion that you can feel is there between you. I can feel how much I want her and already I can’t get enough. It’s like being hungry, and not being able to eat fast enough to satisfy your hunger. I push her up against the wall and press my body into her. She responds with a sharp moan that she knows drives me crazy. She knows it turns me on to know how much she wants it. It’s like a gauntlet thrown up and every time I relish the challenge. I spin her around, pressing her against the wall chest first and grab her by her wrists. I move one above her head and then the other, holding them in place with one hand and a strong grip, while using my free hand to explore her body. I kiss her neck and bite her ear lobe softly at first and then a little harder, whilst moving my hand between her legs. I whisper to her not to move them and she knows to obey. She loves the fact I’m in charge. I spend time kissing and softly biting her neck. But not too soft. Using my hands and finger to pleasure her. Pulling her hair so that her neck is fully exposed, each tug drawing a soft moan of pleasure from her. Each second passing by makes it harder to control myself. I absolutely must have her!

…and that is just a little bit of foreplay. What comes next is always…well. there are no words really (read THIS to get an idea). The thing I have always loved about rough sex is that it’s always different. It’s spontaneous and fuelled by a lust that is somewhere between love and hate. It’s pure desire for one another and it can only be expressed by having a closeness that goes beyond just having sex. It’s not about going as fast as possible and it’s not about pain. It’s about hair pulling, back scratching, arse spanking, hot, sweaty, can’t get enough, filthy hot, no limit sex. No judgement. No censoring. Just two people who can’t get enough of each other, having the kind of sex that you can only have once you fully give in to your desires.

If it’s not for you, fair enough. My opinion though, you don’t know what you’re missing!