Chapter Text

When analyzing the world, you tend to find strictly the worst sides of it. To be honest, that's all I'd ever known. I'd be lying of I said my time in the reapers game didn't change me for the better, but I often wonder about the cost of it all. Regardless of the positive aftermath that bathed me stability, there was trauma that I don't will leave for the rest of my life.

What happens... When that stability is taken from you?

...

Neku: Day 6.5

We had been scouting No. 2 all night, Rhyme and I. We were reclined on a rooftop we managed to climb up to via fire escape, bringing a backpack full of food and materials for the chilly night, and the hot summer morning. If we had to scout, looking out for Tinogi, may as well get a little R&R in before the big fight.

Junko and Jess were at the café resting up. Rhyme informed Jess that Sun would kill her if she made a mess of any kind, that was her trying to cover her bases. Fortunately for everyone, Jess was already exhausted, having stayed awake for nearly twenty four hour or more.

Jess said she'd meet up with us once she had at least five or so house of rest. It had was coming up on hour ten, still nothing from her. Not that I minded, in truth, she was tiring me out too. Any solitude away from her was a breath of fresh air. Even better, I finally had time to catch up with Rhyme. She was filling me in on her and Joshua's antics the previous week, how the two constantly clashed, but found that they made a pretty good team by the end, as well as skirting around the ever so awkward discussion of her death...

Rhyme: You know- you and Jess might find you have more in common than you expect and- not- hate each other?

I rolled my eyes.

Neku: Fat chance of that. She doesn't give a shit about anything I say or do. And that's been rubbing off on me! I've been reciprocating, and she hates me even more!!!

Rhyme gave a half hearted smirk. Seemingly recalling a similar memory of her own.

Rhyme: Either way... Are you gonna invite her to the Ramen Don?

I flinched a little. That- came out of nowhere.

Neku: What do you mean?

Rhyme: Once this is all said and done. You gonna invite her?

I reclined even more, looking up at the fading stars in the sky. I popped a chicken nugget in my mouth.

Neku: Probably not-

Crumbs emitted from my mouth as I talked with my mouth full.

Rhyme: God- gross.

I wiped the grease from around my mouth and sat up.

Neku: I don't know if you've caught on- but Jess and I hate each other. Like- almost violently. Hell- she left me to rot with the reapers!

Rhyme: I though you two had a talk?

Neku: That diffused the situation, and we plan being better about talking- but beyond that- not too much has changed. I just figured it'd be better to split without too much anger. Just- a neutral departure. Is that too much to ask?

Rhyme: Keep in mind, she's also going to be present next week. Same as you.

I frowned. Right. Next week. The last week- at least I hoped...

Neku: Whatever... What about you? What are gonna do when you get back to life?

Rhyme looked down. She sat cross legged on an aluminum AC unit, with her orange sweatshirt tied around her waist.

I noted yet again how much she had changed within only a year. She was a lot more methodical, less positive, and much more cynical. Sadly, she reminded me of myself at her age...

Rhyme: Dunno. I don't have any plans with my life. Maybe I'll just stay here.

I raised an eyebrow.

Neku: Really? After all that's happened, you still want to stay here???

Rhyme starred off at the lights of the skyline in the distance.

Rhyme: This hell is better than home, that's for sure...

We sat in silence, letting the moment sink in. I decided to remind Rhyme of home.

Neku: Beat- misses you, you know?

Rhyme: I do...

Neku: You want to ghost him the rest of your life?

Rhyme furrowed her brow, looking down.

Rhyme: It's stupid, I know... But I don't have much else left. I thought- I had something... Something before last year... Something I cared about... Like, not just people or whatever, something I felt passionate about... After the first time we were in the reapers game, I played it off as nothing. I couldn't remember too much of it, so I wasn't effected, surely. But-

Rhyme scratched her head, flinching as she did so.

Rhyme: Eventually I stopped all of my volunteer activities, all my hobbies... It was a waste. I felt... Nothing, what's worse- I think I hated it. So, obviously, my parents began scolding me to do something, anything. Then I remembered Beat... What he delt with... So- I ran away. Simple as that.

Neku: Ran away... To here, right?

Rhyme scoffed.

Rhyme: Yeah. Here. A fantastic decision, I know.

Neku: Hey, I'm not here to judge. I just want to remind you that you're brother- all of us, have been worried sick since you ran away.

Rhyme looked away.

Rhyme: R-right. Sorry about that...

...

Neku: But I get it.

Rhyme glanced at me.

Neku: I get struggling to live up to expectations. I was in a similar rut. Not as rough, but people expected things of me. Things I wanted nothing to do with. That's probably why Mr. H's stuff spoke to me like it did...

Silence once more. It was clear we both had things to say, but weren't sure how to articulate them. I decided, for both our sakes, to try and change topics.

Neku: So- have you met any of the other reapers?

Rhyme: You mean like Kyo?

Neku: Exactly Kyo. There's also Zethube, and a few others... Junko included.

Rhyme: Kyo... She-

Neku: They, apparently.

Rhyme: Ah. Well- they were at No. 1 yesterday, right?

Neku: That's another thing that confused me. Are No. 2 and No. 1 connected? I was drug into No. 2, but found my way to the courthouse in No. 1.

Rhyme nodded.

Rhyme: They are. I'm not sure how. It's probably reaper shenanigans to be honest, so I'm probably not the person to ask... Now if Joshua were here...

Neku: Yeah, that asswipe normally had all the answers.

Rhyme: Really?

I blinked.

Neku: I mean- yeah. He's a cocky prick, don't you know?

Rhyme: Could have fooled me. He was cocky, I'll give you that. But he was normally just as clueless. It's almost like he'd never been to Shinjuku before. He did catch on quick, though.

It then donned on me how Joshua, as Shibuya's composer, likely never had the chance to leave.

Neku: I guess that makes sense...

...

Time ticked on. We continued watching in the dark, silently munching on whatever we brought with us.

After another hour of nothing, Rhyme resumed the conversation.

Rhyme: So, I'm curious. Who exactly is Rikka?

Neku: Hadn't you been around her just as long at this point?

Rhyme: I've been in and out of the Café all week. I haven't really had time to chat.

I rubbed my nose, recollecting the previous week.

Neku: Well, how would I describe her? She's an anxious mess for one.

Rhyme: I have gathered that much.

Neku: But, she's willing to try harder for her friends. She's saved my ass more than once.

Rhyme: Oh- so you are friends?

Neku: I'd like to think. This past week made me think differently...

Rhyme: I did explain why not long ago didn't I?

Neku: Yeah... Doesn't make it any less... I dunno...

Rhyme: Painful?

Neku: Yeah. That's probably the word.

Rhyme: But- under the station, Rikka managed to pull off a weird trick. Do you remember?

Neku: Uh. Not really...

Rhyme: It's like- she mixed psyches. That's not anything I've seen before.

Neku: That's nothing I've heard of before...

Rhyme sneered in frustration.

Rhyme: It's probably Sun. Again. I swear she always has something doesn't she?

Neku: Seems like it.

Rhyme seemed lost in thought. It was obvious she wanted to say something else. But- she was hesitating.

Neku: Something else on your mind?

Rhyme: Where do I start... Again...

Neku: How about we keep it simple.

Rhyme: Well, it's actually something Joshua wanted me to pass on... Problem being, I'm still not sure what to make of it...

I sat up, mentally preparing for a stupid Joshua remark.

Neku: Shoot. I'm ready.

Rhyme: Well- he said he wanted you to know that he saved you because he wanted to. Not for some "ulterior motive." whatever he meant by that.

I looked down at the ground. Attempting to process the shockingly simple message.

I kept repeating to myself how... Out of character that was... Wasn't it? That wasn't the Joshua I knew. He never said anything like that before.... Did he???

I shook my head and sighed.

Neku: Thanks- I- I think.

Rhyme: I seemed to care about you.

Neku: Honestly, that's what's got me concerned...

Rhyme: What for?

Neku: Well- I dunno... It's stupid really...

Rhyme: Whatever you say. I'm not you, so I can't make that call.

I paused, took a deep breath, and look up at Rhyme.

Neku: I'm almost- afraid that I feel... Similarly...

Rhyme: Oh. Like-

Neku: I don't know how. But, I wanna say I care. But, the obvious problem remains: He killed me, used me, and maybe even borderline abused me. But-

I was silent. The facts I relayed to myself should have been enough. I let out another sigh.

Neku: But it feels like he wants to try again. For real. Kinda like- he got to know me and- wants to be friends???

Rhyme clicked her tongue and chugged more water down.

Rhyme: You know, that's sounds an awful lot like someone who's in denial.

Neku: In denial of what?

Rhyme: You said it yourself. He abused you right? Both physically and mentally, from what ot sounds like. Why do you owe him the time of day?

Neku: Well- what if it's real? What if it's a cry for help?

I stopped. Realizing what I'm saying. I lowered my head, recollecting some of the last moments I remember vividly from my first time in the reapers game. Two guns, one choice, and one cocky prick, without hesitation, gunning me down again. Meanwhile, I remembered Shiki, Beat, Rhyme, and now Rikka. They're my friends. They're the one's who consoled me. It was in that moment, it clicked.

Joshua can go to hell.

...

Maybe it was more complicated than that, but I didn't care. I chose at that moment, I'd had enough. I was going to move on.

...

I heard an audible drop of water on the pavement at my feet. Rhyme seemed taken aback slightly. I looked down to see it was my own tears.

Damn. He messed me up, didn't he?

I wiped my face clean, feeling extremely uncomfortable. But Rhyme sat next to me, patting me on the back. She said nothing. Only nodding in solice.

It was another quiet hour ahead.

Day 6.5: Breaking Point