Keep hope alive...CNN will have to come up with some other fake news

CNN: Hey, if enough Republicans are murdered on Inauguration Day, the Democrats might be able to stay in power

Mostly time-filler here from America’s biggest Trump-hating cable channel, but I suspect it’s a tiny bit of wishful thinking as well. What are the chances that we somehow emerge from Inauguration Day with the presidency still in the hands of the Democrats?

Apparently there is an answer hopeful enough to make Lloyd Christmas declare, “So you’re telling me there’s a chance!” Someone should tell Joss Whedon. Here’s how CNN has it laid out: If Trump is assassinated, of course Pence becomes president. Trump and Pence both? Paul Ryan. You all know this. And if they get Ryan too, Orrin Hatch, by virtue of his position as president pro tempore of the Senate. Ah! But what if the assassins manage to take out Hatch too? Well that’s where things get exciting for Democrat bitter-enders. At this point, the line of succession goes through the cabinet, with the Secretary of State first in line. Rex Tillerson, right? Nope. He’s not confirmed yet. So who’s the Secretary of State? Well let’s say the mass carnage happens right at noon, just as Obama’s term has expired. Someone tell a certain haughty, French-looking Massachusetts Democrats, who by the way served in Vietnam, CNN’s saying there’s a chance:

Now, here’s the one very large problem with the Kerry-becomes-president scenario: Presumably, he will have already turned in his resignation, effective at noon on Friday, so he might no longer be Secretary of State. But what if there is no president alive to accept his resignation? Trump is dead. Obama’s out of office. Tillerson is not yet confirmed. Someone call John Edwards and tell him to bring lots of hairspray. He’s about to become vice president, baby! Breitbart is rather exorcised over this, thinking it represents CNN’s fondest wishes rather than just a dopey segment when there’s not much else to talk about. But there’s plenty else to talk about, with major legislative initiatives awaiting the new president, ObamaCare hanging in the balance, all kinds of things. No serious news network needs to fill time with implausible nonsense like this. Then again, this is not a serious news network we’re talking about. It’s CNN. I sort of like the part of the scenario where all the political appointees have resigned, none of the new people have been confirmed yet, and that makes the highest ranking career employee in the State Department the de facto Secretary of State, and thus, the president. This turns out to be some guy named Tom Shannon, who may or may not have once been the morning DJ on CKLW Windsor.

John Kerry can go join John Edwards in whatever house of ill repute he’s biding his time in these days This guy could turn out to be the greatest president in the history of this nation for all we know. All he needs is a chance. Anyway, back to reality. Whether CNN likes it or not - and you and I both know they don’t - Trump becomes president at noon tomorrow. John Kerry can go join John Edwards in whatever house of ill repute he’s biding his time in these days, and the Democrats can resume their collective meltdown. CNN will have to come up with some other fake news, which I’m sure won’t take them long. Dan's new novel, BACKSTOP, is a story of spiritual warfare and baseball. Download it from Amazon here



Dan Calabrese -- Bio and Archives Dan Calabrese’s column is distributed by HermanCain.com, which can be found at HermanCain Follow all of Dan’s work, including his series of Christian spiritual warfare novels, by liking his page on Facebook.

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