I’d like to state for the record I don’t think the answer is close. It’s Boston 100,000 times not even a question. This all started with an office debate, which seemingly happens every week, between Frankie Borrelli and Glenny about the Rangers and Islanders rivalry. I could give two fucks about hockey, but somehow the Yanks vs. either the Red Sox or Mets came up. What would be worse? Frankie thinks 100% the Mets winning a championship would be horrible for the Yankees fan base. Let’s take a look at both arguments.

We live amongst the sickness that is the New York Mets. We “share” this city with them in our everyday lives and them winning a title would be immensely insufferable. The parade in New York would be a horrible, horrible day in our lives without question. We’ve witnessed three Red Sox titles in the millennium and we know how they feel. We know by now how to cope with it and how to just block out the noise. Mets fans are miserable, miserable people that allow us to know we’re better than them in all facets of life. Allowing them to finally win would ruin that. Allowing KFC, Clem, Super Producer BC, and Frank the Tank to win a championship in their lifetime would be downright terrible for all of us. Think about how obnoxious KFC would get. They’d no longer be the little pissants we squash with our boot. They wouldn’t be in the discussion for the worst organization in all of sports anymore. They wouldn’t be a laughing stock. New York City will always be the Yankees city, but things would certainly be different.

Argument for the Red Sox Title Being Worse

Alright glad I can stop pretending now. Nothing, and I mean nothing is worse than the Boston Red Sox winning anything. They win any sort of baseball game and I’m sick to my stomach. I hate watch the fuck out of them when the Yankees are off. I hate David Ortiz. I hate Pedro Martinez. I hate Gabe Kapler. I hate Nomar. I hate Trot Nixon. I HATE JACKIE BRADLEY JR. I hate J.D. Martinez. I hate all of them. I don’t have this feeling for Mets players short of Piazza and that’s really it. Who gives a fuck about the Mets? Sure they share this city with us, but it’s only a technicality. They’re pissants. They’re nobodies. If they win really who gives a fuck? Sure we’d have to deal with the KFC’s of the world for a little bit, but it’s not their city. It’s pure luck. When Boston wins a World Series I want to die inside. I don’t talk to people for weeks. I lose weight. I lose hair (more than usual). I don’t eat. I can’t even go outside without wanting a passing car to hit me by “accident.” The ’04 World Series win was one of the worst moments in my entire life. It’s probably number 2 next to my dad passing away if we’re being completely honest.

Watch this and then give me your answer. New York, New York playing as they celebrated on the field makes me crawl out of my skin. The sickening feeling of seeing Carrabis and all of his minions celebrating victory is unrivaled. Since working at this company I obviously haven’t witnessed a Boston Red Sox title and I pray to God it stays that way. That would end me.

It’s Boston 100,000,000,000,000 times in my mind. Let me know what you think.

Me and Tom are going to definitely discuss this on the Short Porch on Friday so make sure you subscribe if you haven’t already and tune in.

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Clem’s Editors Note: When people ask me why I hate the Yankees, I will direct them to this blog. I don’t hate the Yankees players or the fact the Steinbrenners play within the rules and outspend other teams. But I haaaaaate dickheads like Hubbs always talking shit like this out of the blue, usually when the Yankees roster looks stacked as shit. When the Yankees lose, they scamper back to their little nests like weasels and talk about 27 championships. If the Mets suck so much, maybe I should just pick another team outside of New York that has a bunch of titles so I can bring those up. Just kidding, who would root for a team like say the Packers if they are a New York fan? Get the fuck outta my face Hubbs. I challenge Jared to challenge you to Rough N Rowdy 3 (I’m not a fighter and I’m pretty sure there are multiple laws that prevent someone Hubbs’ size from jumping 100 weight classes to fight me). And Jared, don’t go easy on Hubbs just because you are coworkers. I want you to give him the Johnny Cage treatment for the millions of people that root for the 2 teams Hubbs just shit on.

Fuck you Hubbs.