Mission “create a big buffer for November” is going well… I’ve now played partway through update 5.7. Pretty sure this generation is going to have way more updates than any of the previous ones, especially considering how many only cover 2–3 days!

Anyway, enjoy!

Last time: I only got through two days. Billie was pregnant! Ella and Josh went out on the town to look for love. Josh kissed some random unpleasant lady at the park and his girlfriend’s sister. Ella yelled at some people, then met the intriguing Joaquin le Chien. The next day Joaquin agreed to be her boyfriend. India and Delta became children. Josh met his mum’s clone, the Fake Morgan Fyres, and seduced her. We continue…

Because Delta is an emo Gloomy, she constantly has whims to write in her journal. Britta is completely unfazed by her five-year-old grandchild’s depression.

I think she did this on purpose, too.

Claire was not keen on Ella jeering at her, and appealed to Josh, her only nice grandchild, to make her cut it out.

JOSH IS A DADDY!

Unfortunately, he is, uh… pretty busy over the next couple of days and won’t be able to check in on his sproglings for a while.

Oh, what is this? I specifically send them into a private room to canoodle, and Britta manages to be there to witness it anyway. smh

Britta: Hmm… my son making out with his brother’s wife? This is fine :D

I was wondering why Ella suddenly had “Rude Introduction” pop up in her queue, and it was because Billie’s mum paid an unannounced visit!

She might look unimpressed with Josh, but actually he got their relationship to like, 40% nearly instantly with a Polite Introduction.

Anaya: Goodness, Billie, why haven’t you introduced me to your husband before? He’s such a charming young man!

Billie: Erm… yeah Mum… just so charming, that’s my husband alright.

Anaya: If only you could’ve brought him to our apartment in San Myshuno to introduce us before your father passed away…

Billie: *pretends not to hear*

Billie got this moodlet from Josh talking to her mum. LOL

Then, STOP!! It’s baby time!

Because Arnold is being his usual absentee self again working hard at his job , Josh takes on the responsibility of the pre-parental panic.

TWINS AGAIN!

This one is Oscar.

And this is Sierra.

India and Delta make their feelings on this unwelcome development known by trashing the kitchen.

India managed to abscond before Billie could get there, so Delta was the one who copped all of the discipline. As you can see, she had strong feelings about this injustice.

Ella’s been promoted to Jokesmith!

Joaquin invited Ella out for drinks to celebrate her promotion, and she enthusiastically accepted.

Because Joaquin is a complete dunderhead though, he also invited this lady to tag along as a third wheel. Like, wtf man. Ella doesn’t even know this person.

Ella and Joaquin (autonomously!) decided to take their canoodling to this bench outside. However, they were followed…

Then they decided to take themselves to this little courtyard, but do you see that top of a Sim’s head on the other side of the wall? She followed them there too.

Then literally the second they managed to lose her, she got knocked up by some guy from Willow Creek.

At least, with Alison busy doing that, Ella and Joaquin were able to canoodle in peace.

She tickled him too, because remember, she is EVIL!

Ella is so overcome with emotion that she drops to one knee and asks Joaquin to be her man for life.

She then rolled a whim to get a lil’ bit frisky to celebrate…

Joaquin, however, left her high and dry.

Just a bit of friendly, competitive banter over breakfast. Unfortunately, Josh is the only one who realises they’re in a competition.

The next morning, a rather well-dressed Ella invites Joaquin over!

Then laughs maniacally about her EVIL PLAN!

Unfortunately, Joaquin is a dirty liar who said he’d come over then never did.

Ella: Yo, what the fuck dude? Are you coming?

Joaquin: Oh yeah! I’ll be right there!

He wasn’t.

WHY ARE YOU SENDING HER THIS TEXT INSTEAD OF ACTUALLY TURNING UP, JOAQUIN

??????

He did at least bother showing up when Ella invited him to the park… with Josh in tow, for reasons. Those reasons being mainly that for his next promotion he needs to “Shout Out” from a bunch of different places, but then I forgot to have him do that.

Ella: Haha, SUCKAAAAA!! You’re bound to me for life now!

It was a beautiful wedding.

Not quite Josh’s scene, but… he pretended to care for Ella’s sake.

Then, like, the SECOND the ceremony was done he ditched it like a hot potato because he got a better offer.

Jade was certainly eager to get re-acquanted.

Unfortunately, the social event got cancelled when Jade went to the toilet and this crazy guy started screaming at her. smh

Anxious to keep their afternoon reunion going, Josh invited Jade out on a date in Windenburg.

He told her some extravagant lies about being a bad boy on the run from the cops…

…which Jade seemed to find rather seductive.

I literally JUST found out that you can have more than one girlfriend at a time in this game… so, Josh now has two!

Jade: Damn boy, my husband’ll be so heartbroken if he finds out about you.

Josh: So let’s make sure he doesn’t find out ;)

Just FYI, Josh needs two more of these as well as six more girlfriends to achieve his aspiration.

Just after getting home, Josh rolled the whim to Send a Flirty Text, so he did, to his good old friend, Candy Behr. Britta then sent a random-ass text to nobody just so as not to feel left out.

Let the good times roll!

This is the only picture I got to prove Candy turned up at all… she disappeared after like half a second!

?!?!?

Josh: Hi Candy. What the fuck?

She did not show.

Josh: Excuse me Candy, I am trying to ask you out on a date. Are you going to show?

Candy: Sure!

(Spoiler: no.)

what the actual fuck is your problem, Candy

Josh (texting): You’re a bitch, Candy :)

OK CANDY YOU GET ONE MORE CHANCE

SHE APPEARED FOR ONE SECOND AND DISAPPEARED AGAIN

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Luckily, there’s someone waiting at home who’ll be happy to accept his advances.

At least, for so long as her husband is out at work.

Protip for Morgan: Don’t do that.

Well, uhmmmmmm, probably not, like, right this second…

why the fuck is Josh even answering his phone while literally being in the middle of banging Billie

Meanwhile, Ella is yelling at her mum for no reason. Today Britta is Not Having It.

I took this as a sign.

Billie: So, uhm, I know I’m married to your brother and all, and I don’t really know what you do with your life, but… do you want to be my boyfriend?

Josh: omg! yes!

And thus, he now has three girlfriends.

Obviously Arnold did come home from work that night, but when Billie autonomously put herself to sleep, it was Josh’s bed that she crawled into…

Is it just me or does this sound a bit passive-aggressive to anyone else?

Ella is like, obsessed with the babies. So much for being evil.

Meanwhile, at Joaquin’s house…

He invited Ella over, and because she’s not a jerk like Candy, she ENTHUSIASTICALLY came over! I mean, from the looks of things she even swam there.

For some reason I thought having Joaquin ask Ella to move in with him would bypass the “household split and merge” dialog, but it doesn’t.

Soooo, because there are currently eleven residents of the Cooper household, Ella is BANNED from moving out unless two other Sims also move out >:/

soz, Britta and Morgan.

At least, now that she lives with her husband, the two of them can try for a baby together! (PS they succeeded.)

Aaaaand since Britta and Morgan are FORBIDDEN from EVER RETURNING HOME unless two of the Sims currently living there leave, they moved into this charming little two-bedroom cottage. I mean, it was a two-bedroom cottage; I turned the smaller room into a study. Forgot to take internal pictures of it though cos I suck.

I feel like this Gemma Otero chick is a bit slow on the uptake.

Oscar’s now a toddler! He got the Wild trait.

Sierra’s also a toddler. She got the Angelic trait. (Which iirc Arnold also had, and we can see how well that has followed him into adult life.)

Case in point.

Toddler play time!

This was a possible interaction as Arnold clicking on Oscar… I DID NOT CLICK ON IT

India had a whim to Be Mischievous, but she did NOT really appreciate Delta’s reaction.

Then Delta autonomously did something like ‘Share Melancholy Thoughts’ and reduced India to hysterical sobbing…

Sierra follows in the family footsteps and plays with her food. *sigh*

Arnold: THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING HERE

Ella: Dude, I’m your sister. I thought I’d pay a visit!

Arnold: WE DON’T WANT YOUR KIND HERE

(Seriously, Ella just autonomously paid a visit and Arnold was autonomously scowling at her through the door and not letting her in -______-;)

Ella: Hey bro, just some constructive criticism: maybe when you get dressed tomorrow, don’t choose the shirt with the mustard stain, yeah?

Arnold: You mean… I’ve been wearing a dirty shirt like a slob all day? :(

No, Arnold. Ella is Evil and you are mean to her. She’s pulling your leg.

Arnold: My shirt isn’t dirty at all! HOW DARE YOU SAY THAT, YOU STUPID [beeeeeeeeeeep]

Ella: I am shocked—SHOCKED!—that my own brother would dare accuse me of such impropriety!

Arnold: ok well you’re still a [beeeeeeeeeeep]. In fact you’re worse than a [beeeeeeeeeeep], you are truly a [beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep]

Ella: HOW DARE YOU

Ella: DON’T EVEN TALK TO ME.

Billie got this moodlet from seeing Josh talk to her daughter/his niece, Sierra. Seriously?

Their relationship isn’t even that bad (just above zero) and this is the shit he pulls autonomously. #perfecthost

thx Oscar

Billie: Don’t do that, Oscar! BAD!

Oscar: Bad? Me? :(

India: lol… dw kiddo, keep making all the messes you like!

Ella: *having a full-on meltdown to Blarffy*

Josh: Maaaaan, potty training suuuuuucks. I wonder what Candy’s doing right now?

You’ll find out next update! Until then, goodbye!