While certain fashion designers are offering more conservative one-piece swimsuits for women in their most recent lines, the C String bikini is covering the less-is-more market with the most ridiculous bikini we’ve ever seen.

Pretty much what you’d get if you crossed a maxi-pad with a shoe horn, the C String is a G-string without the pesky side strings. Women who have had to deal with those unsightly tan lines produced by shoelace stringed-bikini bottoms can now just affix this coochie-hugging crescent onto their pubic area and court melanomas in a worry-free manner.

Of course, you can also wear the C String under your jeans, skirt or pants, too. The incredible engineering behind the C String means no panty lines, basically because you aren’t wearing any panties.

And, for those intimate moments when you want that special someone to see what everyone on the beach has already seen, you can wear the C String as lingerie.

The C String costs $24.00 for the bottom and $34.00 for the whole bikini. It is available online or at fine retailers.

We’re not sure how many C String bikinis we’ll see on the beach this year, but we know that the guy equivalent for this fashion nightmare can’t be far behind. That makes us sad.