The Modern/Platinum Era of Melee has brought more good to the scene than anyone could have ever imagined. That being said, there have been many sacrifices made during the move to E-Sports land and one of those sacrifices stands out more to me than any others.

Team Names.

It wasn’t even like the removal of weird-ass team names was a necessity for us to get sponsored by Nintendo, Gaming Generations, or whatever the hell else, so regardless of whether the move to basic-ass names has been just a natural byproduct of the scene moving forward or everyone en massse deciding to be more boring, there really isn’t any reason for us to not have a little fun with names, right? See, I love teams. I do not love boring team names however. As it currently stands, we have teams like 4 Leaf Mango and Grab&Go which are at least different, but then the rest of them are “PewFat, Muffen (which is admittedly not that bad), Player A and Player B, or “Don’t Hate Us Because We’re Autistic” (shoutouts to MVG). It’s awful. Here, look at this-

1: You ain’t gonna tie me down (Hugs + Lucky)

2: and i got a mother****in grocery bag (S2J + Lovage)

3: Team Silent Bob (Scar + SS)

4: I let that thang go buck, till my wrist sprain and my fanga cut (HMW + DaShizWiz)

This is the Top 4 for the teams event at CGC @ San Francisco State XVI a while back. Tell me with a straight face that those names aren’t better than “Hugs and Lucky” or “HMW and DSW”. Maybe this is me getting passionate about something entirely insignificant, iduuno.

REGARDLESS

I have decided to take the initiative and create this page so that I, and anyone else who wishes to contribute, may help to build team names for every single teams combination out there. Maybe none of these team combinations will ever exist, and maybe none of these names will ever be used, but at the very least they’re funny to think about.

Westballz + HBOX= RestBallz

Mango + Armada= The Goat and The Boat

ChuDat + Axe= PikaChu

ChuDat + Porkchops= Dinner!

Silent Wolf + Shroomed= Yelling Wolf

Frootloop + Milkman= A Completed Bowl of Cereal

Plup + Fiction= Plup Fiction

StriCNYN3 + Blea Gelo= Team “No One Says Our Names Correctly On The First Try”

DruggedFox + Weon-X – Weon-Ecstasy

SwiftBass/Swift/Gibsonzero + Matt/Stab/KBJ = The Fuck Even Are Our Names?

Remen + Amsa= Egg Noodles

Chillin + Ice= ChillinDudes

Tope + Toph= “Wait Did You Say Tope or Toph?”

Korean DJ + DJ Nintendo= A Good Option For A“Before and After” Question on Melee Wheel of Fortune

NMW + HMW= Nick Made Waffles

KirbyKaze + Kage= Regrettable Initials

Colbol + S2J= Smoke 2 Bols

Th0rn + Bladewise= Bill and Ted’s Excellent Team

Bob$ + G$= $$

Leffen + SFat= CatDog

s0ft + Vanz= Vans® Latest Product Designed To Capture A Larger Share of the “Skaters With Sensitive Feet” Market

Wizzrobe + Darkrain= Boy II Man

Scar + Green Ranger= Only 90’s Kids Will Remember

HMW + Mango= Well-Balanced Breakfast

Leffen + MikeHaggar= When Pigs Fly

Darc + Shroomed= The Darcest Team

Ice + Chu Dat= A Cold Day in Melee Hell

Zorc + Ryan Ford= Ryan Fjord

Irish Mafia + Spud= A Stereotypical Pairing

Captain Smuckers + Mofo= Mother Smucker

Shroomed + Fly Amanita= Affinity for Mushrooms

Hax + Laudandus= A Common Enemy

Cactuar + th0rn= The Sharp Men

PC Chris + C!Z= C!Zgendered Scum

Wobbles + Twitch= Too Many Jägerbombs

S2J + Hax= #1 and #2 on the Water Drinking PR

The King + Lord= Royals by Lorde

Darkrain + Prince Abu= Kansas City Royals

Westballz + any puff main= Puff Adders

Eikelmann + Redd= The Redd Scare

Redd + The Moon= Lunar Eclipse

42nd + HugS= 171st (sorry hugs)

Mr LZ + Wizzrobe= Children of the Corn

CDK + Wizzrobe= Connor and a Kid

Hugs + Hungrybox= Hugs and Kisses

Scorpion Master + King= A 2002 American Epic Fiction Action Film Directed by Chuck Russell

gaR + lloD= Ragdoll

Swiftbass + Ryan Ford= SwiftRage

SFAT + StriCNYN3= Rodent Killers

Light + Lucien= Bilingual Light

Larry Lurr (DEHF) + KJH= Yes, Everybody Hates Falco

Silent Wolf + Ice= Ottobahn

thOrn + Mango= Billy and The Kid

Duck + Silent Wolf = The Brutal Reality of Nature

PKM Vodka + Eikelmann= Another Stereotypical Pairing

Tai + Taj= “I Love Your Mew2s”

Lucky + Duck= Lucky Duck

Strawhat Dahean + Shroomed= Strawhat Dajuan

Android + Alex 19= The One Android From DBZ That Looked Like A Mime For Some Reason

I.B + Eikelmann= Rush I.B Don’t Stop Сука Блять

Axe + Mango= AZUSA

PKM Vodka + Beer Man= Liquor Before Beer, You’re In The Clear

Lord + Lord HDL= Redundant

Captain Faceroll + Crush= Orange County Crush

C!Z + Dart!= An Exclamation Point

reaper + Jeapie= Choppy and Jeapie

CoolKid + Luigikid= Mutual Exclusion

Ryan Ford + Thomas= Ryan Fjord

Rudolph + Redd= Rudolph The Redd Nosed Reindeer

n0ne + Hanky Panky= ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

_____

Send me any names you have to me over Twitter

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