Newly elected American President and most hated man on earth Donald Trump has already won over most of his UK haters by confirming his primary ambition as the most powerful man in the world is to “save Fabric”.

The seventy year old businessman, turn President, has gone on record claiming the recently shut down venue is “more than just a club”, suggesting it is a “temple” for ravers across the world, who view house music as a “way of life” as opposed to just “sounds in their ears”, to visit.

“I’ve had many a wonderful night with my friends in Fabric,” Trump told us. “I remember one time in particular, me and Bill Clinton got the chance to meet Ricardo Villalobos. That was a real inspirational moment for me as that guy simple doesn’t give a shit about what others think of him, we should all take a leaf out of his book.”

“Is he straight, is he gay, is he twenty one or is he sixty one, is he dead, is he alive, is he even male, or should I refer to him as ‘miss’? Nobody knows and that’s the beauty of the man. He also let me grab a quick selfie too.”

“I accept not everybody wanted me to win this election,” continued Trump. “So to them, from the bottom of my heart, I say fuck off and go suck your mom’s dick. Haters gonna’ hate, at the end of the day. All I know is my first port of call is getting Fabric reopened so I can get wonky at some stage in the future. Once it’s done, I’m going to take on those idiots at Toblerone who think it’s acceptable to change to shape of the chocolate.”

“I also intend to organise a séance to communicate with Cecil and Harambe and find out how those guys are doing. I have big plans and I’m sure everybody, except the Mexicans, will be won over by how great the world will be in the not too distant future.”