Unsatisfied Women In Western Art History

babe what is it

what’s wrong

nothing

are there not enough leopard skins

i mean

if you call just two enough

and here is your royal chair

no furs on it i see

just linens and gold

that’s fine, that’s fine

is that a problem?

well you clearly didnt think it was a problem

so i guess it’s not a problem

is it

why do i only have a stone lion for my LEFT HAND

what am i supposed to do with my right hand

besides BE DISAPPOINTED

okay now shut up and give me that leopard skin

if i had ENOUGH leopard skins right now then i would have TOLD YOU TO STOP BRINGING THEM

so unless you hear me say i have enough

keep fucking piling them on me

i don’t know

they died really fast

can you bring me someone who doesn’t die so fast when you put knives in them

or something with noodles

honestly i would fucking kill for something with noodles in it right now

no i’m fucking thrilled to be pouring your mead

i went to Bryn Mawr so this is a perfectly appropriate use of my skillset

i think all queens should moonlight as barmaids

the crown makes us so easy to spot in the feasting-hall

keep ’em coming

yeah that’s

that’s nice i guess

do you have anything bigger or more diamond-y

like this, but a giant diamond?

darling

why is this man talking to me

he doesn’t have any jewels on

i like his furs but he doesn’t have any jewels on

so why is he talking at me

so this is your whole kingdom

yeah?

there’s not

more of it

that i missed seeing?

just statues of lions instead of regular lions, i see

no it’s good

it’s good

it’s good you only have that

I CAN STILL SEE PART OF MY FACE

WHAT PART OF “I WANT MY ENTIRE BODY COATED IN GOLD” WAS UNCLEAR TO YOU

fine, kill the harpist

we’ll still be bored after he’s dead and then there won’t be anyone left to play the harp

but go for it, maybe it’ll cheer us up

oh my goddd thank god you’re here

turns out the amount of actual time you can enjoy yourself on a “pleasure barge” is like

three days, max

also i think everyone else is dead now

let’s get out of here

i like dont want to be rude or anything

but me and this dog are kind of hanging out right now

so

I NEED MORE PELTS

I COULD BE WEARING SO MANY MORE PELTS

if someone doesnt move this crown on my lap to my head right now im going to fucking scream

i thought we were going to cover the whole harp in roses

but if these were all the roses you could find

i guess that doesn’t have to ruin everything

hey girls i have a fun idea

try playing something good

just for a change

just to see what it would be like

god

i fucking hate reading

this isn’t really doing it for me anymore

do you want me to tell them to dance faster

no

i want them to dance better

jesus

this is a nightmare

i didnt say stop

youre the only one i can trust

you and this leopard skin on the floor

the only ones i can trust