Like any other day, Russian President Vladimir Putin woke up, shaved himself with a sharpened axe (didn't even use shaving cream), and then mentioned casually to a reporter, "To forgive the terrorists is up to God, but to send them to him is up to me." Sweet mercy.

Our second favorite Putin quote:

Terrorists: Sticks and stones will break your bones -- but Vladimir Putin will kill you We are going to pursue terrorists everywhere. If they are in the airport, we will pursue them in the airport. And if we capture them in the toilet, then we will waste them in the outhouse. … The issue has been resolved once and for all.

If you think this is empty talk, think again: Russia's air force just used its nuclear bombers to lay waste to a major stronghold of the Islamic State. The details:

The Russian air force just pulled off one of the biggest and most complex heavy bomber missions in modern history—sending no fewer than 25 Backfire, Bear, and Blackjack bombers on a coordinated, long-range air raid against alleged ISIS forces in Syria.

Ladies and gentlemen: Vladimir Putin.

Now here's your obligatory Putin rap:

[video:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yDIlQ3_lsKE]

UPDATE: The RT anchor who reported this quotation has apologized, saying it's not accurate. The part about killing terrorists in the bathroom is genuine, though.