LONDON—Expressing her annoyance after nude photographs of her grandson Prince Harry of Wales surfaced on Hollywood celebrity website TMZ this week, Queen Elizabeth II announced today that she is highly disappointed the grainy shots don’t show anything good. “In one [photo] he’s basically just bending over this girl, and all you can see is his ass crack,” the British monarch said at a news conference outside Buckingham Palace, noting that she spent two hours yesterday searching for uncensored versions of the images online. “In the other one he’s cupping his dick to the point where you can’t even see any pubes. It was barely enough to get me wet.” At press time, sources reported that while she was initially underwhelmed by the photos, the queen had since taken another look and experienced her first orgasm in decades.

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