The Assassin’s Creed movie really isn’t straying far from its roots, hey.

For several years now the Assassin’s Creed franchise has fronted a mess of pre-order bonuses and special editions. In most territories it’s been impossible to purchase everything in one bundle, or to get all the DLC without also buying a stack of collectibles like statues, and some of the special packages have been ludicrously expensive.

In a marvellously on-brand move, Ubisoft has partnered movie ticket pre-sell site Kernel so that the movie can follow suit. Here’s what’s on offer:

$15: movie ticket and a digital copy of the script as well as behind the scenes extras

$25: the $15 package along with a t-shirt

$40: the $25 package alone with a watch

$50: movie ticket, Funko Pop vinyl figure and “4-6 curated collectibles – including an action figures signed by Todd McFarlane”. Limited to 20, sold out.

$60: the $15 package alone with a McFarlane Toys Aguilar Hidden Blade

$120: the $15 ticket along with a new UbiWorkshop hoodie based on that worn by Michael Fassbender in the movie

$600: the $15 package and Aguilar Premiere Scale Statue

$1,200: the $15 package and a replica Spanish crossbow

Twelve hundred dollars. Is this Ubisoft’s glorious transmedia future? By gum, this better be a good movie.

What makes this even funnier (slash more tragic) is that my good pal Tim jokingly predicted it over on satire site Point and Clickbait. How we laughed! And now here we are.

That hoodie is kind of sweet though, let’s be real. I have owned three Assassin’s Creed hoodies so far and my rampant materialism shows no signs of slowing down. And a dressing gown. And two editions of the encyclopedia. And all the novels. I am a real part of this problem, hey.

Anyway, the first Assassin’s Creed movie trailer dropped last week ahead of the film’s December 21 launch. We’re not hugely optimistic, although as Fassbender reasonably points out: someone’s got to get it right eventually.