So iPhones aren't cool, got it. But how do you feel about a guy that keeps a Blackberry between his buttcheeks so the government can't monitor his calls? Because I know a guy. Personally. Me, I'm talking about me. Also, if I told you I'm a L337 Starcrafter can I get the big bedroom? I need it for all the orgies. WHAT DO YOU MEAN NO FEMALE VISITORS?! Aaaaahh, I see where this is going. Well listen: we have to take turns pitching and catching, it's only fair. I'll pitch first. Then, when it's my turn to catch, I'd like to call a pinch-catcher. That will be you again.

Craigslist: Looking for an Room in NYC, NO IPHONES Allowed [obviouswinner]