There’s fine line between being funny, and being weird.

You’re funny when the girl get’s it. She can relate. This is why fart jokes are almost always funny, because everyone farts.

Your joke about how this certain bar reminds you of Moria won’t go over if she hasn’t seen or read the Lord of The Rings Trilogy.

Being weird can be funny, sometimes

You could say something strange like: “I’m happy as a midget with stilts.”

Now that’s not a funny line. It’s absurd, and weird, and slightly offensive, but it could be funny. So if a girl finds you attractive, she might look past your stupid joke, which she probably doesn’t understand, and laugh, because she likes you.

Or maybe the image of a midget with stilts makes her laugh because it’s weird. And she would think, “This guy is weird but I like him.”

But if she doesn’t know you, and isn’t sure if she likes you yet, she might think you’re actually weird, or offensive. (Maybe her brother is a midget.)

This is why so many guys fail with texting or online dating. They try to say something funny, and the girl doesn’t get it, or she’s offended, and game over.

Say you like steak. She says she prefers chicken. So you stare at her, deadpan, and then slowly lift your arm, exposing the back of your hand as if you’re going to smack her and command, “You like steak.”

This is funny because she knows you’re not going to smack her, and she knows you’re kidding. You express the absurdity with micro-expressions: widening your eyes, frowning, quivering your lips.

Good humour is often about breaking rapport. It’s the edgy communication that will either offend, or humour. Watch Louis C. K. or old Eddy Murphy, or any good standup comedian. They’re usually riding the edge, or crossing it; what’s socially acceptable.

Look at a line like:

“You’re not my Dad.”

Or, “Bitch, shut up.”

“Bitch shut up,” is only funny if it goes against your character, and she knows it. If you’re a really gentle, respectful guy most the time, and you say, “Bitch, STFU!” it’s so out of character, that she knows you don’t really mean it. You would drop that line if she asks you where the ketchup is, or your opinion of her new scarf. The point is, there is no reason to tell her to shut up, or that she’s not your dad. If she has an understanding of how you communicate, these lines would be funny. If she doesn’t, she’ll think you’re an asshole.

So how do you communicate that you are a kind, gentle, man, but also an edgy and fun guy?

It’s tricky. It comes down to your inner game. How centred you are. How confident you are with people, and life. If you’re going to drop some possibly offensive humour, you better be totally willing to offend someone, and not give a shit. You have to know who you are, and why you do the things you do. Not for popularity, not for sex or money, but because you’re right, and good, and you say and do what you want for yourself, not for them.

I’m waiting for the headline, “Dating Coach Teaches Men To Bitch Slap Women And Tell Them To Shut Up.”

***I’ve taught hundreds of infield bootcamps over the last ten years, and I travel internationally, from Vancouver to Singapore, New York to Rio. Contact me for a free thirty minute phone consultation. I love talking to and helping men and women with their dating lives.***