A noble man named Cardbird walked into the building, greeting his coworkers. He didn't think of them as coworkers, however, he thought of them as 'mortals.' With his chest puffed, and arms flexed, he walked to his cubicle and began his day of work.

"Hey Cardbird! That's a nice sweater you have on." Said one of the few female coworkers in the firm, RifleSoldier.

"Hey cunt-face. You look a little less ugly today." Responded Carbird.

RifleSoldier then proceeded to make her way to the bathroom, holding in her tears, before letting them burst out. This was her hiding place, since there were barely any other females in the firm, she usually remained uninterrupted with herself. Cardbird took notice of the sobbing, felt especially satisfied with his accomplishment, and began his work. Over on the other side of the building, a man sat in his glassed office (with blinds of course) intently watching his employees. He had managers below him that did the majority of the micromanaging of the employees, and he simply watched all of his employees very intently. He had set up a wall of moniters in his office so he could have every security camera displayed at once. There he sat with his stoic look, with his coffee mug in his hand, occasionally opening his mouth to mutter something. He faintly heard some commotion from somewhere, and scanned the monitors to see what it was. While watching, he got a text message from his most loyal employee, the network administrator.

> Hey you-know-who is at it again. He's on floor 3 throwing a fit. ~ *GhostSnow : Sent at 10:04 PM*

SL89 intently looked at the message, and immediately knew who GhostSnow was speaking of. He let out a sigh, and responded with;

> He's had his chances. Ban him. ~ *SL89 : Sent at 10:05 PM*

> Understood, boss. There will be no remorse. ~ *GhostSnow : Sent at 10:05 PM*

***

*Earlier that morning...*

Pepsiisgood1997 hated his job. Everyone picked on him. It was bad enough that he suffered a mild mental deficiency, but the annoyance just wouldn't stop. He couldn't even do his work. He struggled to think up a sentence for this new memo. He had to convince his general manager, or else his work would be scuttled. Something about it not being realistic enough. Well, he was going to *show* them that it was realistic.

*Ow!* Pepsiisgood1997 grabbed his eye.

"Ha! Got you again!" Yelled a giggling Irk from the corner while he quickly made another paper plane to throw at him.

"That hit my fucking eye. Stop it!" Yelled back Pepsiisgood1997.

"Aw well that's too fucking bad!" Responded Irk.

Pepsiisgood1997 thought Irk was the worst manager. He still ponders how he even got the position of manager. Must have been tough times. Somehow he still manages to be one of the most productive mods, while fucking around with everyone. Just the other morning, while LeftHandedLunatic was getting her coffee, Irk attacked her with silly string. She turned around and spilled her coffee. What a dick.

"Hey you fucks." It was H0b5t3r arriving late to work once again.

"Hello." Responded the office. H0b5t3r would always criticize them on their work, while sticking to a small corner of the office. He would occasionally stick his head out of the office to tell them to do things his way, while totally not doing those things.

"Guess what? I'm going on a trip to the Maldives next week. I would ask you losers to come, but I don't like you guys." Said H0b5t3r.

"Do you even have money for that?" Responded ElysianDreams.

"Nope. That's why I took some from the local bank." Responded H0b5t3r. Several people exchanged "What the fuck" glances at eachother in the office.

"... What do you mean took money from the local bank?" Asked ElysianDreams.

"Oh you fucking chink. A loan of course!" Responded H0b5t3r.

"But you can't afford a loan." Said Cardbird.

"That's why I'm going to the Maldives. Last I checked they don't have extradition laws there." Said H0b5t3r.

"What the fuck dude. Your going to get yourself into trouble." Said ElysianDreams.

"Listen, why don't you go fuck off to China where you came from? Oh wait, was it Canada or China? I can't remember." Said H0b5t3r.

"Anyway you fucks can have my keys to my Audi R8." Yelled H0b5t3r to the office.

"Where the fuck did he get that from?!" Muttered Tardis218, who peered out the window into the parking lot, to find that it was true.

Pespiisgood1997 continued his work, with [Horst Wessel Lied](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=MD6oDnm43HA) playing on his computer as music. He had a Nazi flag strung up in his cubicle, which had gotten a mixed response from his coworkers. Whatever, he could care less. If they'd just stop bugging him-

> FROM: PhoenixGamer@WorldPowers.org

> SUBJECT: Dual-Ringed Nuclear Investment in Berkshire Hathaway

> No pepsiisgood1997. It's just not going to work, what your doing is something that has never been done before. It just won't work, realistically. We have a 1% chance of this going write and a 99% chance of this going wrong. I'm going to have to stop your project, because it won't get anywhere. Considere it 'invalidated'. Convince me otherwise and I'll approve it.

Pepsiisgood1997 slammed his fist down onto his desk. The entire office immediately turned their heads to see a raging Pepsiisgood1997 began tearing down his cubicle walls and throwing his computer across the room.

"Not again," said Tardis218 while sighing.

The computer flew and hit the intern, Iamawesom, who fell over on the floor incapacitated. Pepsiisgood1997 started shouting, "NO NO NO NO! I PUT SO MUCH WORK INTO THIS!" AidanJan, hearing the commotion, walked over to Pepsiisgood1997 to calm him down.

"What's the matter?" Asked AidanJan.

"*They* ruined my project I was working on." Replied Pepsiisgood1997.

"Alright guys. What happened?" Said AidanJan.

PhoenixGamer, who resided at the far end of the office away from the commotion, said, "I invalidated it because it wouldn't work. I'm sorry, but it was pretty stupid. Pepsi doesn't have a conception of Dual ringed nuclear investment."

"I'm just NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" Shouted Pepsiisgood1997. He promptly started up his rage of destruction once again, and began destroying the front desk of the office.

"Listen, if your going to act this way please leave!" Said AidanJan, who promptly began to dial GhostSnow. SL89, while carefully watching the movements of S01780, heard a small amount of noise in his sound protected office. He listened closely, and could hear the high pitched buzzing that was Pepsi shouting frantically. Several floors down away from SL89, the commotion with Pepsi saw no end in sight, with even more destruction ensuing.

Tardis218 and TimeLord79 ducked behind an overturned conference table while Pepsi threw various office items around the room. "God, does he ever stop? I mean what even happened?" Asked Tardis218. TimeLord79 then said, while ducking a chair, "I don't know. Security should be here any minute, as per usual." And within that second, GhostSnow busted through the door while flanked by four armed security guards.

"Pepsi, drop it." Sternly said GhostSnow.

"No. They ruined my project!" Replied Pepsi.

"Pepsi, no one did anything. The project wasn't going to work." Responded GhostSnow.

"No, it *was* going to work. But PhoenixGamer RUINED it!" Yelled Pepsi.

"Listen, not only will I drag you out of the building, but I'll have you fired too. Drop it now or please leave." Said GhostSnow.

"...Fire me. I know you all hate me anyway." Said a self-pitying Pepsi.

"No one hates you." Lamely said PhoenixGamer from the other side of the office.