I am a self-professed child-free lady. A fellow child-free friend recently announced she was unexpectedly pregnant. I can tell she's feeling pretty rattled and struggling with the sudden change in life plans.

She's an elementary school teacher in a stable, hetero marriage with a steady double income… so naturally everyone around her is congratulating her and wanting to talk nursery decorations and baby names and daycares. The assumption is that she secretly wanted kids the whole time.

As a fellow child-freer in a similarly stable life situation, I want to empathize and be there for her and give her a break from all the squee-ing, but I don't want to be a downer. What can I say to her? -Carlene