Im bak 2 scule agen. (Me: I'm back to school agaainn~. Which I'll be in a week or so...) Its gud 2 c Tiffany agen but I hav 2 call her Miss Dawson in class or shell giv me a damerit and 3 of thos is a ditenshun and my parants well be made at me if I get on of thos. (Ness: Then don't do it, ya creep!) I relly lik the outfet that Tiffany wore 2day shes almos as pritty as Lauren and shes a relly gud teecher. *Check One Two plays*(Palutena: Ooh, does someone have a teacher crush?) I wish she braked up with Mr Jonson in reel life lik she did in my storey. (Calem: So you can get with her?)(Ike: I think she doesn't like you. I can see why.)(Torch: ...Whelp.)(Scouter: Take this as your punishment for slacking off.)

Pit from Kid Icarus (PLAYFUL SNARKER)***** (Pit: Sorry to keep you waiting!) Palutena from Kid Icarus (PLAYFUL SNARKER) (Troll) ****** (Palutena: Light it up!) Ike from Fire Emblem from the Fire Emblem Tellius series (DEADPAN SNARKER)***** (Ike: Let's do this, then) Bayonetta from Bayonetta (PLAYFUL SNARKER (Troll))****** (Bayonetta: *witch cackling*)

*Pokemon title card music* Episode 29: Sorry For the Rapping! Current party: Erika the Emolga-Mii fighter (ALL-AROUND SNARKER)***** (Me: Back in action, guys!) Ness from EarthBound (ALL-AROUND SNARKER)******(Ness: Ready ta Smash!) Sonic from Sonic the Hedgehog (PLAYFUL-RELAXED SNARKER)***** (Sonic: Sonic Speed!) Robin ♂ from Fire Emblem Awakening (RELAXED SNARKER)**** (Robin: Let's go) Chrom from Fire Emblem Awakening (DEADPAN SNARKER)**** (Chrom: Let's hope we can keep this up) Mega Man from Mega Man classic (GIMMICK -INNOCENT)**(Rock: Okay!) Calem from Pokemon X and Y (PLAYFUL-RELAXED SNARKER)****(Calem: Bonjour.)

Chapter Text

CHAP 28: TIFFANY FINES THE CUR(Robin: Well, they are a cur...)

I spant the naxt few days in Tiffanys (Me: The Empire of)rome. Evul Clon Sara was sloly take ovar my mined. I falt sinfel dasires 2 rap evary women I sawed.(Me: Helllfiiireee~ Dark fiiiirreee~)(Torch: WOAH, that escalated quickly) But I stell noed it was wron so I wasnt a lesban.(Ness: Keep movin' th' goalposts, man.)*ding!* *dink!*(Bayonetta: It's bottled-up sexual repression, hun.) Prolly my God Powars protracted me frum lettin Evul Clon Sara complately tak(Me: Kurwa to you.)*ding!* ovar. Butt(Torch: BWAHAHAHA.) I new Tiffany had 2 hury.(Sonic: Oh, she just needs to "hury". She can take her time, then!)

Evantully Tiffany came with a nedle.(Calem: *cringes a bit*)(Torch and Scouter: That's a fictional needle.)(Calem: I know that!)

“Im gonna inject this in u” she sed.(Me: Well, at least she isn't an anti-vaxxer)

“IM GONNA RAPHammerman Theme plays U!” I sed but it was relly Evul Clon Sara(Robin: It still baffles me as to why this is so consistent.)(Chrom: Yes.) contralin my (Me: BEGONE)thots.

Master Chef(Ike: I'm in the mood for some meat now.)(Robin: Does he know how to cook bear?)(Ness: I want hamburg steaks!)(Sonic: Still waiting on that chili dog!)(Pit: I'm hungry too!)*ding!* ponted his trankwilezar gun at me in cas I braked free and tred 2 rap Tiffany(Me: He has those?)(Calem: A what?)(Rock: A gun that makes people fall asleep. ...Didn't we address that before?)(Calem: Well, if someone didn't take so much time...)(Me: Shut up!)(Calem: Oh, no offence, mademoiselle. *wink*). Tiffany stucked the nedle(Calem: Did you have to be so blunt?)(Sonic: You afraid of needles?)(Calem: Eur...) in my (Me: S)amr and sudanly I falt a wav of putrefaction(Palutena: Ew. Sounds gross.)*ding!* clansen my sole of the gayness(Palutena and Bayonetta: Sure it did!) and son I was as strate as I was b4 absarbin Evul Clon Sara (complately 100 percant strate pepole!).*dink!*(Torch: We get it!)(Scouter: Feel my pain.)

“It werked” I sid.(Calem: I don't think that's how any of this stuff works, mademoiselle~.)*ding!*(Bayonetta: Oh, I can probably change that. *winks*)

“Ok thats grate(Ness: Hooray! Yo' not possessed anymore! Ok grate. Okay.)*ding!* heres a presant” she pulled ot sumthin and handad it 2 me.(Palutena: A wedding ring?) It was a Hom Deppo gift card.(Rock: Were those last two words spelt right now?)(Scouter: What the hell is your obsession with that place?!)

“Ew whyd u giv me this”(Pit: SHE WAS ONE OF THEM ALL ALONG!)(Rock: Dun dun duuuunnn!!!) I throwed it on the grond.(Me: I THREW IT ON THE GRRRROOOOUUUNNDDDD.)

“Becuz I had 2 mak sur it relly (Me T)werked and u werent jus try 2 trik me” Tiffany sed(Torch: *yawns*)(Calem: Yup! Sounds foolproof!)*ding!* “Unty her Mister Chafe.”(Bayonetta: Oh no, not chafing!)*ding!*

Muster Cheef(Torch: Wow, how many times can you spell that differently? Even I'm not this lazy.) untyd me wile Tiffany injacted Peech and Zoltan(Me: Oh yeah, Not-Peach and ZINO were here too.)(Torch: How is even possible to mess up this badly?) with the cur(Ike: I think we've established that's you.)*ding!* 2 and tey tuned strate agen 2.(Ike: Whelp, that was easy.)(Sonic: *sarcastic clap* well, glad that conflict was solved like that!)

“Yay! Were strate agen!” they sed.(Scouter: And no one cared...)(Torch: *yawns again* This is booorriinng.)(Scouter Don't you dare fall asleep on us. You're in this too.)(Rock: At least she spelled they right?)

“Ok now we ned 2 cur everone” I sid. Furst(Ike: What? Does that taste good?)*ding!* we fond the pepole who used 2 be consarvetiv (March(Me: Hey, that's what month it is now!)(Chrom: I see the Hero-King is as good avoiding this story as ever.) and Salted Snap(Pit: Is that a snack? Ooh, where can I buy it?!)*ding!* and Kin Deede and Clod*insert Steven Universe clip") and curred tham.(Sonic: Well, glad that we spent so much time on that epic search!)(Ness: Yup!)(Scouter: At least it means less time on this idiocy.)(Pit: They were probably just chilling out in the mansion like the last time.)(Palutena: Yeah, waiting for the plot to happen probably. I'm assuming otherwise they're just standing there, T-posing.)(Me and Pit: For dominance!)

“Hi Sara. Sorry I was gay.(Ness: Hey! That was two sentences with nothin' spelled wrong!)(Me: ...I'm sure there's a joke in here somewhere...) Can we dat agen”(Rock: And it ran out halfway there.)(Sonic: Hey, you're really getting good at this!) Marht sed.(Robin: Thank goodness that this isn't the real Hero-King, otherwise Caeda would be horribly cross with you.)

“Well Im daten Lunk no” I sed.*Your Cheating Heart plays*(Ness: Our heroine, eve'yone!)(Rock: At least she's honest?)

“Its ok ill dat Zeda no that shes strat agen 2”(Calem: That's not how this works, mademoiselle.)(Me: Well, I'm glad that everyone in this Christian tale is super loose!)*ding!* Lonk(Me: From Pennsylvania)*ding!* sed.

“ok”(Ness: Okay! Okay!)*ding!* I sid.

“ok were dun no rite”(Torch: What?)(Ness: Ah think she meant "We're done now, right?")(Robin: Of course you're done, after that.) Lank sed.

“No we shud do the rite(Me: Aid) thin(Ness: Stop appropiatin' my speech patterns, dude!)*ding!* and cur the libruls 2”(Robin: ...Oh, that is what she meant.)(Chrom: At least she is willing to help them)(Robin: And at least she doesn't think they're inherently evil or something.) Lauren sed.

So we went thro the Manshan curring all the libruls of there gayness(Me: What, did you shock them in the bal- testicles?)(Bayonetta: Oh! You almost said it!)(Me: Oh shut it.) and maken tham consarvetev.(Me: Hun, I'm straight and I'm liberal-leaning. Though it's nice being in the middle. Come to the centrists, we laugh at both sides!)(Torch: I'm just assuming this means "part of the supposed good guys.". There might be more, I don't CARRREEE!)

“Im so sorry I tred 2 rap u al thos tims(Palutena: That's a rare sentence.)(Robin: One out of many.)*ding!* lets go shaping sumday” Samas sed(Ness: Shaping? That some kind of exercise Ah don't know about?)(Pit: If so, she would do that.)(Rock: I think she means shopping.)(Pit: Hey, don't ruin the joke!)(Calem: Mademoiselle, shopping can be for many things. Even going to this Home Depot place is shopping) 2 me wen we curred her “but 2 a gud stort not Hom Deepo.”(Calem: Oy, don't ruin my line! But he, gender role police, I like shopping for clothes sometimes too, y'know. Not as much as Serena, but it's nice to get new threads once in the while.)*Ding!*

“I destructed Hom Deppo remamber” I sed.(Ness: Ain't it a chain? So did all other Hom Deppos just kinda blow up with it?)(Robin: Don't remind me of that poorly thought-out mess.)

“O yea”(Me: Oh yeah yeah)*ding! Samas sed “but theres other Hom Deepos in the wrold(Ness: Aw shucks! This time Ah'm jynxed!)(Palutena: Oh no! She's becoming self-aware!)(Pit: Mayday! Mayday!) and I dont wanna go2 any of tham anemor.”(Me: Home Depot could use this to advertise to gay rights people. Get on it, guys!)

Soon all of the smashars wer curred(Me: Because yup! All those people in the 50s didn't try enough!)*ding!* and wer on r sid.(Torch: Aaaand... Tout le monde s'en a fichu!) note: Anyone who knows French, help me with this...

“Saten and Oblama dont stand a chans!” I sed.(Sonic: Well, since these Smashers are complete wimps, don't know about that, buddy.)

Sudanly God walked in.(Me: Suddenly, God!)*ding!*(Torch: Wait, what?)(Robin and Chrom: Yes.)(Ike: Seems normal.)

“Acshully Satin(Bayonetta: Once again, it's a piece of cloth, floating aloft, that's all.)*Ding!* figared ot what u ded and no(Me: No w, you have a lot to live for!)*ding!* he sumaned lotsa(Ness: Pasta!)*ding!* damons from Hell 2 gard Subspas and there relly powarfel and stuf.(Ness: Y'know, an' stuff!)ding!* U will ned everone 2 halp u sav Mit Rmoney(Me: Ah, 2013... I feel old...) and Pail Rayn(Me: Yes that one.) and Jin Boner”(Ness: Good night, everybody!) God sed “and I brot 3 mor allys 4 thes.”(Torch: I barely understand most of this. But who cares? It's too much effort.)

Suddanly the 3 gratest presadents in histary waked in(Ike: Will you stop bringing your world into this? We can deal with our own business, thank you.)(Pit: Yeah, let us mind our own business!)(Sonic: You forgot, those aren't us.)(Me Oh no, she's about to drag more IRL people into this, isn't she?)*ding!*. They war Tomes Jafersan and Roland Regen and Ann Rand!(Me: Ayn Rand isn't a president, you sack of prunes! Though, I would've thought you’d be the type to be against a woman in office. Then again, you're a girl fighting. So checkmate, Sara-Sue!)*ding!* Tomes Jafersan wrot the constatushan(Me: It was written by many people.) and invanted freedam.(Sonic: Pretty sure freedom existed before this guy, buddy.) Roland Regen defeeted the comies buy knaking don all the walls(Me: I thought you guys liked walls? Oh yeah, 2013... Again, I feel old...) in the Saviet Onion(Sonic: Did they like literally live in an onion?) wich mad the seelings fall on al the comansts and kill them.(Robin: Spelled correctly in the last three but grammatically incorrect. Yes.)(Ness: Ah'm just imaginin' a guy kickin' down one wall an' it all fallin' down like cardboard) And Ann Rand wrot Atlus Shagged(Me: The company Atlus did what?!)*meanwhile*Joker: Achoo! ...What happened?(Ness, Palutena, and Bayonetta: Good night, everybody!)(Torch: *yawn*)(Scouter: They didn't mean literally, you oaf.) wichis the most impotent bok evar(Ness: Oh, so it was th' most pointless book ever? Okay!) expect 4 the Bibal.(Robin: That is no way to talk about your holy book.)(Pit: No, it's a bok! It's a chicken! Bok bok bok!)*ding!*

I new we had 2 hurry if we wanted 2 sav the consarvetav polynesians(Me: Are we talking like Hawaiians or Maori or...?)*ding!*(Ness: Oh yeah, that was happenin'. Forgot.) frum Brock Obumeh and Mikal Jaxan(Me: Well, the guy could have been a pedo, so yeah, I think that what you hate him for is the least of his possible probems) and Stan.(Me: Like the South Park character or the Gravity Falls character or...?)*ding!*

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Me: That's all for today!

Robin: Finally, it's looking to be almost the final act.

Ness: 'bout time.

Me: Well, hopefully I'll update now from now on. Though my UTAUs are demanding my attention...

Sonic: Just don't literally wait a year.

Me: Hey, I plan to finish this year! Here's hoping!