Draft Day Prayer for Browns Fans

Makers Mark Commemorative Tim Couch bottles up, everybody, it’s draft day! This year’s draft preview is again brought to you by Mentor’s own Matt Borcas, who writes about the NFL and other subjects of great historical import for ESPN’s Grantland, and who was more excited about Johnny Football last year than anyone except for maybe only one other person. Enjoy, and hopefully we’ll see you tonight at Map Room.

—————

It was the best of times. The Browns had finally drafted their franchise savior, the electrifying quarterback out of Texas A&M, the only freshman ever to win the Heisman trophy, and the biggest celebrity in college football history. Everything was about to change. Season-ticket sales spiked. You probably even priced plane tickets to the next few years’ Super Bowl locations, but even if you didn’t, you have to admit: I was Aaron Goldhammer. You were Aaron Goldhammer. We were all Aaron Goldhammer.

OK, maybe Frowns wasn’t Goldhammer, but pretty much everyone else was, and as we all know, everything did change — except of course for the ultimate disappointment in the Browns’ on-field product. Anyway, TMZ headlines like “Johnny Manziel PARTYING WITH BIEBER … Cops Called”? That was new! Drake taking time out of his day to comment on the Browns’ latest massive quarterback controversy? Too bad we never got his take on Couch v. Holcomb or Anderson v. Frye.

There was the money phone. There was the Vegas bathroom photo. There was the Little People of America demanding an apology from Marvin Lewis. And there was the five-game losing streak to close the season, with the added fun of Johnny turning up missing on the morning of the season’s last game, and being suspended along with Josh Gordon and fellow 2014 first-round pick Justin Gilbert, who had just been criticized publicly for horrendous play and “one of the worst attitudes some in the organization have ever seen.”

You know where the off-season went from there and here we are, amazingly, again. The Browns hold two first round picks, again. They reportedly “covet” a top quarterback prospect, again. Fans are pining for a big-play wideout, again. And the Notorious MKC is in especially rare form, again, even by her lofty standards.

I have to admit I’m still sort of reeling here, and I can’t be the only one. I mean, the ink is hardly dry on the memories of the Richardson/Weeden draft.

But still, this is Cleveland, and as much as we might not know what to think in the wake of Hurricane JFF, dammit we are still going to think things, especially when it comes to the draft. After all, hope is a discipline. Moreover, good judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment. There is so much to build on here!

So since we know how much the Browns’ front office dislikes unsolicited advice, let’s just call what follows a prayer. If we’re living on anything in Brownstown these days, it’s that, and I hope you’ll agree that I’m really not asking for much:

1. Keep Dowell Loggains out of the draft room. Look, I know Arkansas’s finest QB guru is no longer with the Browns, but you can never be careful enough when it comes to the guy who said last May, “I think we can throw [Manziel] out there right now and I think he’s going to be one of the most exciting players in the NFL.” To hear Loggains tell it, it was Johnny’s text message to him that led to Jimmy Haslam ultimately pulling the trigger on the kid who promised to wreck this league? Lock the door, block Loggains’ cell phone number, and make sure every draft prospect knows that he’s the Bears’ problem now.

2. Use at least one first-rounder on a “safe” prospect. It’s nice to have two first round picks, but it’d be nicer to hit on at least one of them every once in awhile. This is the third time in four years that the Browns have been blessed with double first-rounders, and if Farmer wants to avoid another disaster, maybe he could try sacrificing a high ceiling for a low floor, so to speak. They said Kyle Fuller didn’t have as much upside as Justin Gilbert coming out of college. The Browns’ idea had to be the same re: Teddy Bridgewater and Manziel, too, as sad as I am to admit it.

In practice, this might mean taking an offensive tackle like Iowa’s Brandon Scherff or Stanford’s Andrus Peat, both of whom would start for the Browns immediately.

(And in fairness to Farmer, last year’s draft was hardly a complete disaster, with Joel Bitonio, Chris Kirksey, and Terrance West all providing solid second-to-mid-round value).

3. Use a first-rounder on a receiver, finally. Please. It’s become an annual rite of draft night: Despite a glaring need at wideout, the Browns pass on every decent receiver on the board, content to go to war with the Chansi Stuckeys and Taylor Gabriels of the world. In an increasingly pass-happy league, I don’t see how this can be tolerated any longer. A whopping five receivers went in last year’s first round, and every single one of them made an immediate if not a superstar impact. This year’s crop of receivers is thought to be similarly rich, and with Josh Gordon facing another yearlong suspension, the Browns have never needed one more. I don’t care if it’s Amari Cooper (they’d have to trade up), Kevin White (unlikely), DeVante Parker, Breshad Perriman, Devin Smith, Jaelen Strong, or even Dorial Green-Beckham — just get one.

Hearteningly, Perriman, from the University of Central Florida, just had dinner with Browns officials in Orlando, but then again, Farmer seems to harbor strange anti-receiver sentiments, so who knows. Here’s one thing that everyone knows, though: Dwayne Bowe and Brian Hartline are not long-term answers at the position. They might not even be short-term answers.

4. Just say no to Todd Gurley. You don’t have to be a football genius to know that running backs aren’t worth a first round investment these days. Plus, we already have a stud back from Georgia.

5. No “edge rushers” in the first round. Kanick elaborated on this well at 603Brown, but it bears repeating: The Browns have invested heavily along the defensive line in recent years, and it’s time for them to use their resources on something else. Between Mingo, Kruger, Desmond Bryant, new addition Randy Starks, and a healthy Armonty Bryant, they’re overflowing with capable edge rushers. That can’t be said for many positions on the roster.

6. Feel free to grab a top-flight prospect with “character concerns” or “red flags” if one slides. For every Josh Gordon there’s a Tyrann Mathieu — someone whose talent would typically merit a first-round pick, but who drops in the draft due to nebulously defined “character concerns” (usually a failed pot test, in which case 80 percent of the kids I know in college suffer from character concerns) yet ends up being totally fine as a professional (first ballot Hall of Famer Randy Moss having fallen to the Vikings in ’98 for having smoked pot is probably the all time historical example of this). Sometimes these guys even fall out of the draft entirely, which is how the Browns were lucky enough to land Isaiah Crowell as an undrafted free agent.

7. Trade up for Marcus Mariota. Just do it.

Browns offer two 1st-round picks to Titans for No. 2 overall selection, where they would plan to take Marcus Mariota. (via @PatMcManamon) — SportsCenter (@SportsCenter) April 29, 2015

As nice as it would be to land, say, Scherff and a wideout tonight, it will still be hard to get too excited about it as long as Josh McCown, Manziel, and Conor Shaw are the top three quarterbacks on the roster.

I know it seems like the same kind of thinking (feeling?) that landed us Manziel last year, but Mariota is a lot different from Johnny, he’s the best quarterback that the Browns have a chance to get in this draft (12 and 19 could do it, maybe along with next year’s second rounder?), and more to the point:

At this point, as Browns fans, it’s our right to demand the best quarterback we can get in the draft every year until we finally get one who can work. It’s not our job to determine if the guy we want can do the job or not, it’s the front office’s. So get us a damn quarterback or make damn sure that if you don’t, it’s for only the best reasons, and that the guys we get instead can really play, so the team can make real and consistent progress until we finally can find a legitimate quarterback to plug in, whoever it is.

Anyway, however it goes, here’s to draft day, here’s to the Browns, and here’s to a newer, oranger era in this illustrious franchise’s history.

Thanks for reading. Looking forward to seeing and meeting some folks at Map Room tonight.