It’s a subject I touched on before, when I talked about denial, and the two are linked. Edging, though, is a subject all of it’s own.

Edging is, essentially, the art of stimulating your lover and taking them right to the very edge of climax…and holding them there. They do not get to cum unless you allow them too, which is usually after a suitable period of time…if at all. The person being edged may be restrained – for obvious reasons, if you are going to tease someone to the point of desperation you do not want them taking matters into their own hands – or they may not be, if they have good self control. What method is used is also whatever works for you: hands, prosthetics, vibrators, or actual sex – but the method is usually in the control of the edger, not the edgee. Some ways of edging are:

Some vibrators have special settings to send sequences of pulses that build up but still leave you hanging, and may have attachments that can be applied to several different locations at once. These are great for edging girls, because they can be applied to the lucky victim and left running for a while, and it doesn’t require any particular skill in the part of the edger.

Manual edging, where one person effectively is masturbating the other, is very effective but takes skill at reading your partner to get it right. However it’s fun and easy to play with in a normal encounter.

Oral edging is a very, very effective method on either gender. The mouth and tongue are very exquisite instruments to use on your lover, and can be applied to almost any situation. Even if you are the Top, there is no submission in going down on your partner in order to drive them wild with lust and keep them hanging!

Using sex to edge your partner is possible, but takes not just skill at reading them, but control of the situation and great self-control. Again, if you find yourself in charge in an otherwise vanilla situation, it’s easy to move things that way.

Some Tops that have especially obedient Bottoms get them to edge themselves, under supervision. I talked to one dominatrix who keeps several sissies (male transvestite subs) that she has dress up in their frilly finery and masturbate under her supervision, ordering them to slow down or stop when they get too close. Her control of them is such that they always obey, no matter how desperate they get. Similarly, I have met male dominants who have their female slaves do likewise, and tell me it is a great exercise of self control on the slave’s part, and voyeurism on their own.

So, Why Edge?

Firstly, there is the psychological factor of having your pleasure dependent on another person. It ties in with the whole controller/controlled aspect of a BDSM relationship; one person is in control, and they can use that control over the other person to extract what they desire from them while keeping them hanging. The controlled party experiences a build-up of anticipation that is beyond what they would normally experience, and delivers a greater climax when it finally arrives. Indeed, some submissives love it never arriving.

Then there is the very valid point that it prolongs sexual pleasure as part of an ongoing encounter. In this way it’s just extending what many couples already do in “vanilla” relationships by a few steps. The difference between a “vanilla” encounter and a BDSM one is that usually in the BDSM encounter one person is in charge; that doesn’t mean that that person gets to climax, they may deny themselves as well as the sub in order to demonstrate their self-control, but they certainly have the option.

Thirdly, it can be used over a period of time to build up anticipation: rather than having full-on sex, a couple (or one half of it) could be edged over an extended period of time, say a week or more, in order to build up for a grand finale at the end when they will finally be permitted to climax.

Taking it Too Far

There is, however, always a danger of taking things too far, and this is why it is necessary to get to know your partners limits in this as in all things. Some people, when teased too much, just shut down. What was fun just becomes boring, and they turn off. That’s why the edger needs to keep the edged right on the brink, where they think they could climax, in just a moment. The longer you want to hold them at the brink, the closer to it they have to be. You need to give yourself room where they are aroused, and moving forward, if only infinitesimally. Sudden stops are OK, but don’t leave them cold for too long or you have to start again. That’s the difference between edging and teasing: teasing can get you aroused, but never delivers; edging is getting you aroused and on the edge of delivery, but delays it.

Taking it too far is where there is edging, but never any climax or the promise of a climax. The dominatrix I mentioned above found that some of her slaves had to cum now and then or else they started having problems getting aroused – even the experts get it wrong sometimes.

Stories & Teasers

Edging is something that is in a lot of my stories, because it is a common concept in a BDSM relationship. It’s also fun to write about, to build anticipation in protagonist and reader alike. It features fairly strongly in these three tales, and the teaser is from The Secret…

Marco had said “adequate” but Carlotta fancied that he was the master of understatement. The condo was spacious and luxurious, to say the least, not that she had much time to take it in. She and Marco stumbled through the door breathless and kissing passionately. Even as Marco thrust the door closed Carlotta was thrusting his jacket off his shoulders. When it slammed with a click he spun her around in impossibly strong arms pressing her back to a wall as his tongue invaded her mouth and his hands tugged the straps of her dress from her shoulders. He spun her around again, and as he did the zip at the back of her dress, it came down in his hand. Carlotta’s own hands wormed their way between his body and hers to find the buttons of his shirt before moving up and down as they staggered down the passageway. Marco’s kisses moved from her lips and grazed down her throat, sending shivers down her spine as she thrust his shirt back, and at the same time found herself stepping out of her dress. Fingers found the catch of her bra, and his kisses moved down to her breasts as they were exposed. She was lifted in his arms, far stronger than they looked, and her heels slipped off her feet as he shouldered a door open, and in the semi-light she made out the shape of a four-poster bed just before he laid her down on satin sheets. He was kissing her mouth again, him naked to the waist now as her softness met his hardness, thrilling her to the core. Her hands fumbled at his belt as they squirmed around the large bed, she wanted him naked and in her arms. This wasn’t love, although they had made a connection beyond the physical, but it wasn’t just lust either. More than anything it was the challenge, the need to test themselves against one another. At last his belt gave, and Carlotta thrust his pants and boxer shorts down to feel his hard cock spring into her hand, firm and warm and nicely thick without being too long, she couldn’t wait to get it inside her. Marco laughed, and grasped her wrists and pinned them wide apart above her head and kissed her again, kissing her lips, then her beasts until she stopped fighting him and just arched her back, throwing her head back to invite his kisses and luxuriate in his attentions. <Click!><Click!> Cool metal snapped closed around each wrist, and his hands ran down her bare arms as she struggled for a moment in astonishment. Her wrists were now chained above her head! A strong finger placed over her lips stilled her protest. “Your safe-word is ‘sanguine’,” Marco whispered. “Use it, and everything stops, and you can go home…but you won’t, because that will mean you admitted defeat,” he added with a wicked chuckle. Damn, you, you smug bastard, you know full well I won’t use it now! Carlotta’s eyes flashed in anger in the darkness, but it was anger filled with lust. She’d never tried light bondage before, and as she tested the bonds she had mixed feelings: this meant trusting someone else implicitly, someone she had only just met, someone who moreover she knew was a vampire, who drank blood, who wanted to get her pregnant with his child. On the other hand, she wanted him to fuck her and added dimension of the restraint was making her pussy drip, because it meant he was taking complete charge. She was glad it was dark, because she didn’t want him to see the crimson flush of shame in her cheeks as she acknowledged that she really did want a man who could master her. This meant that now Marco would be doing most of the running, and that was what she secretly wanted… Why does this bastard have to be so right about me? Marco wasn’t idle, though. His strong hand gripped the hair at the back of her neck and pulled her head back to expose her throat. His lips kissed her there, his teeth grazed her.. “Oh I would like to feast,” he whispered, “but no…not tonight…not for years yet, if ever, my sweet Carlotta.” He kissed downward, to her breasts, nipping and sucking as well as kissing he tortured her engorged nipples with pleasure and a taste of pain, his hands kneading her sensitive flesh, and her pussy throbbed in sympathy. She moaned in anticipation as he kissed his way further down, across her belly, and she spread her legs and tilted her hips up almost pleading with him as he reached the waistband of her panties. He paused, and Carlotta realized she was panting with lust. Go on, go on! She urged mentally, but he didn’t. In the very dim light she could see his pale torso as he lifted himself off her to kneel on the bed between her legs. He slipped his fingertips inside the waistband of her panties and slowly drew them down, bringing her thighs together, then lifting her legs up high to lift them off her and toss them aside. His cool hands pushed her legs apart once more, spreading her wide open. “Beautiful,” Marco murmured. He can see in the dark, she thought, as she suddenly felt very naked before him, her arms restrained and her legs wide open. Her eyes met the dark, shadowed pits that were all she could make out of his, as he stood at the foot of the bed and stripped off his pants and shoes. Carlotta could only make out that much, and his proud and hard cock, because of the paleness of his skin. He knelt between her thighs again, pushing them wider apart, and again she tilted her hips as if offering him her sex. Go on, lose control, fuck me, she pleaded in her mind as she bit her own lip to stop herself begging. If she could avoid begging, and make him please her of his own choice, she knew in her bones she would have won. But he didn’t.

Endangered Species: The Secret

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Dominant Displays #3: The Challenge

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