Thank you Reddit for giving me something to do when I’m bored at work or waiting around an airport for my flight. Spending this time accruing fake internet points that have no real value gives me great pleasure. Getting my first Reddit Gold was tantamount—not that I’ve ever done it—to snorting a line of cocaine. I couldn’t believe that somebody liked my story enough to give the website $3.99. I was hooked.

There is something intrinsically wonderful about coming back to Reddit a couple hours after you posted a comment and seeing it has been up-voted. It means other people in the world agree with you, or laughed at something you did, or learned a lesson from what you wrote.

All day I listen to conversations where people talk over each other; they only care about what they have to say, and not about what everyone else has to say. Reddit you’ve given me and five million of other people—minus all the throwaways—a voice. A voice that’s heard.

I like to think that all those people that never let me get a word in edgewise are the ones who get down voted, but it’s probably just some asshole trolling for down votes.

I never thought there’d be a haven for my wife to post all the pictures of her food without getting grief from our friends. But on Foodporn not only does she not get grief; she gets rewarded for it!

My morning ritual now consists of coming to the “front page” of the internet to see what’s happened in the world in the hours I’ve been asleep. Am I going to take a trip to Egypt and see snow on the top of the sphinx (was that a hoax?)