A Friend of Unfair Park just posted the comment that new Texas Ranger Jarrod Saltalamacchia "married one of his high school teachers." But that's not accurate -- not technically. See, we dug up a March 2006 story from the Atlanta Journal Constitution that says Ashley Saltalamacchia is actually a former gym teacher at Royal Palm Beach High School in Florida. And, yeah, she was there when Jarrod was in school -- in 2003, good Lord -- only she never taught him phys ed. Not until he graduated, anyway. (Ba-dum.)

There's no way around the proverbial elephant in the room, so here are the quick answers: She's in her 30s, significantly older than the 20-year-old catcher; she never taught a class with him in it; she said their personal relationship didn't begin until the fall of 2004, a year after he graduated.

And did you know his nickname is "Salty"? I take it back -- best trade in Texas Rangers history. Mark who? Zakly. --Robert Wilonsky