TORONTO, ON—"I don't get it," Jason Mandela, 33, said while eating extra saucy BBQ ribs from Earl's on Bay Street late Friday night. "All these chicks are losing their minds over some nobody," he claimed while staring at the backside of a nearby waitress. "It's like, get a grip! He's our Prime Minister. Show some respect."

Mandela then immediately shifted his body 180 degrees and howled at a random woman dining alone at a nearby table, "What's up sweetheart? Take your headphones out. I wanna buy you a drink!" When she ignored him, Mandela rolled his eyes and continued ravaging meat off of the bones on his plate.

Mandela, who works as an account representative at the Toronto Stock Exchange, says he's sick and tired of women "being gross" about Canada's youngest Prime Minister.

"They're like [mocking voice] ohhhhh he's so hot, he's so hot – it's like… he's running the country. Do you have any dignity?"

As he polished off his third beer in twenty minutes and whistled at our exasperated server, Mandela went on to say that he didn't understand the sex appeal of Trudeau and that he could "probably beat the dude in an arm wrestle any day of the week."

When asked, several women at the bar agreed that Justin Trudeau is not only good-looking but also a good change of pace for Canada. Kelly Baiden, 41, explains, "You know – yes, he is handsome, but he's also drawing attention to important issues that have been ignored for years. I'm happy to have a Prime Minister who's shedding light on Canada's relationship with Indigenous communities."

Claire Beckham, a server at the bar, agrees with Baiden's assessment. "Canada needs a fresh new perspective and it's just a bonus that he doesn't look like one of the white walkers from Game of Thrones."

Beckham says she was hesitant to return to Mandela's table after he asked unsolicited, "How much did THOSE cost?" while pointing to her chest. When Mandela later asked Beckham on a date to "his bachelor apartment, AKA The Mandela Dome," she quickly declined stating that she "would not touch that guy with a 10-foot pole covered in bleach."

"It's time for these girls to stop being sexist and let a man do his job," Mandela declared belligerently while snapping his fingers at Beckham for the bill. He then told this reporter, "I gotta get outta here bro, I work in like four hours. You got this [the bill], right? Hey, you don't have any blow on you, do you? Don't put that quote in the thing. But seriously, though, do you?"

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