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The phrase has haunted me for the past month. Ever since I moved to Canada from a land far far away, I have been actively looking for a job. I had known from others that the experience would be soul crushing and gruesome, but never did I think it would be this harsh.

They told me to apply unceasingly. “Ten to twenty applications a day!” they said, but let’s be real for a sec. Do you really stumble upon ten to twenty job openings that fit your qualifications in a day? Do you not take the time to look at their requirements, followed by thirty minutes of contemplation, thinking about what fake stuff you would modify in your resume to make it seem like you are qualified for the job? And of course, let’s talk about cover letters…

“Dear Sir or Madam, My name is @!$#!$^%@#%$. I am interested with the job opening you posted on so and so website… “

Seriously? I am a new permanent resident. I am jobless. I have no income. Sure, I think I meet the qualifications to take on the role, and that is why I am applying to you. What else do you want to know?

“Let us know why you want to work with us!”

Do you really think those sweet talkers really mean it when they put your company on a pedestal, boosting your ego so much that it becomes bigger than your tiny little d*ck? Some of you are even startups… arrogant, cocky, idealistic startups with little to nothing to showcase on your website. Why am I looking to work for you you asked? It is because I need money to survive! Sometimes I don’t even know what you guys are doing, only that it barely sounds interesting, and the fact that my qualifications intersect your requirements. So please cut me some slack. I am not good in writing bullshit, and I am trying to be as honest as I can. But of course, you choose to skip my application and would rather talk with those nasty nasty liars.

Speaking of liars… I see you, talent acquisition people. You are probably one of the worst beings in existence on the entire planet. The kind words that come with your email… sigh…

“Dear @!$#!$^%@#%$, We appreciate your effort and interest in working with us. UNFORTUNATELY, we have decided to continue in another direction. We will however keep your profile for six months and let you know if there is a match. Stay in touch! Make sure to have your profile updated and frequently check our job postings for other opportunities. We wish you the best on your job searching. Best regards, Asshole”

Oh my… where should I start. I just wish you would stop pretending to empathize with me. Let’s be honest, you don’t really care for my well being. Even if you do, you are in no position to decide whether to give me an offer or not. You will let me know if there is a match in the future? Don’t make me laugh. You are not even familiar with half of the skills that I mentioned on my resume. How would you even think that it is a match? Let me tell you what you will do. You will go back to your comfy little desk, open your emails again because that is the only thing you’re good at, and you will do some post rejection cleanup to keep your inbox tidy and organized. This includes deleting all traces of my having talked to you and sent you my resume. And if you cared enough and would like to know what people like us on the other side, “the rejected”, do in the meantime, we keep our stupid faith, believing the impossible that maybe one day, just as Jesus rose from the dead, you will miraculously reach out to us and offer us a position, no further assessment involved. We go back to your website, and we refresh your career page until our mouse runs out of battery, and there it is: the same job opening… still open… for weeks to come. F U!

Lonely Immigrant… still depressed…