Negative family experiences, premature sexual relations and unrealistic partner expectations are just a few of the factors that can negatively influence a young adult's aspirations of getting married and staying married.

A recent study by David Lapp, a research fellow at the Institute for Family Studies, explored the challenges many young single adults face and how these challenges hinder their goals to marry and have a families.

Lapp conducted interviews with 75 young adults who were in the workforce. He found that 60 percent had experienced family problems before the age of 18.

Some of the study participants told Lapp that these family problems have had lasting repercussions in their adult lives.

One such repercussion is the inability to trust others.

Christopher, a study participant, told Lapp that his childhood family life lacked a loving environment. As he got older, his past family experiences made him feel insecure with his wife.

“I didn’t believe in love. I can remember possibly even having conversations with (my wife) like that, like what is love?" Christopher said. "You love me today, but you’re not gonna love me tomorrow, you know."

Joshua Eferighe, a columnist for Elite Daily said, "I’ve noticed that the problems most couples face are usually arguments that can be traced to insecurities masked as trust issues."

He said that when an individual enters a relationship he or she needs to be ready to invest in the other person and give it 100 percent. Be sure to know yourself and try to heal from your past so you can get the best out of your new relationship.

"When you put trust in, you get trust out," Eferighe said.

In his participant interviews, Lapp also found that many individual philosophies toward sexual relations hindered their marriage goals.

He said that sexual relations are happening prematurely in most relationships. This choice leaves little room for discernment about a partner's character and personality. Immediate sexual activity causes young adults to miss key relationship transitions.

Adults should base their decisions to get married on personal readiness and compatibility, but their sexual activities distort their relationships, Lapp said.

Unplanned pregnancies may also pressure some couples to get married when they are not ready or when they would not have married otherwise.

Lapp said that too many young adults believe in Hollywood's unrealistic idea of love which can add to the reasons why many young adults are not getting married.

"Instead of a 'growth mindset' about love that focuses on working through possible differences, these stories about love transmit a 'fixed mindset' that focuses on immediate and perpetual compatibility — the absence of which probably indicates that a couple is no longer meant for each other," Lapp said.

Stanford psychologist Carol Dweck explained the idea of entertainment making love look effortless its effects on relationships in her book "Mindset: The New Psychology of Success."

Dweck said, "One problem is that people with the fixed mindset expect everything good to happen automatically."

Email: kclark@deseretnews.com Twitter: @clark_kelsey3

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