There are mounting reports of underpayment, unreasonable work demands, unceremonious sackings and unwanted sexual advances. "It was really horrible," says Jansen. "She said, 'He wouldn't hurt you.' " Then the mother informed Jansen she'd be left alone with this same man for four days the following week while the parents went away. It was a terrifying prospect. "I felt awful," Jansen says. She began questioning herself: "Am I overreacting? Am I being too dramatic? Am I being unreasonable saying I don't want to stay in the house? I was really hurt. I loved the kids but I knew I had to go." She hesitated in contacting the au pair agency until a friend pointed out, "If he'll do it to you, he'll do it to the other au pairs who come after you." She picked up the phone, and within half an hour the agency collected her and took her to the chief executive's house. Jansen's experience highlights the dark side of the burgeoning au pair industry. Behind closed doors, unthinking or just plain selfish families are taking advantage of vulnerable young girls from overseas.

There are mounting reports of underpayment, unreasonable work demands, unceremonious sackings and unwanted sexual advances. This is prompting calls for the government to step in to regulate the mushrooming cottage industry. "We expect that when our children go overseas they should be treated really well; we should be doing the right thing here," says Wendi Aylward, president of the Cultural Au Pair Association of Australia. "Many au pairs are just out of school. They've arrived in a foreign country and they're going into a home on the basis of information they've been given. There is a lot they're taking a risk on." Harried Australian working families are increasingly turning to au pairs to fulfil their childcare needs. Demand has more than doubled over the past five years, according to Aylward, and there are waiting lists for au pairs to begin work in time for the new school year. Au pairs can be cheaper than nannies, and as live-in help they provide more flexible care than childcare centres.

Hosting an au pair can also increase children's awareness of, and interest in, other cultures. This is especially attractive to dual nationality couples. Many families stay in touch with their au pairs and visit them in their home country. The vast majority of au pairs who come to Australia enjoy themselves. "I love it," says 20-year-old German Bettina Wolfson*, who has spent the past six months working for a family in Mount Isa, Queensland. "I'm part of the family. We have dinner together, we go on holidays, we go to the rodeo and the horse races. I wanted to be in the real Australia.

This is the real Australia." Yet some families' use of au pairs is more akin to exploiting cheap foreign workers than participating in a bona fide cultural exchange. They expect them to work around the clock for minimal money, burden them with onerous chores and even provide substandard living conditions. Alarm bells had already begun ringing for Jansen before her experience with her host family's friend. The original job of looking after three primary school-aged children had morphed into a housekeeper role as the two parents, who worked full-time, leant heavily on her to keep their household functioning. She found herself doing the laundry, grocery shopping and cooking for seven people five nights a week, and was once asked to make a one-hour round trip to take the family's pet turtle to the vet. Jansen tried to point out to the host mother that this was not what an au pair signs up for. "She wanted me to do more housework. She didn't realise how much responsibility she put on me."

Au pairs report having to vacuum the house daily, wash the car, mow the lawn and look after other people's children on top of their own charges – all tasks that are well beyond the brief of the typical list of responsibilities. "You should be there for the kids," stresses veteran German au pair Emma Schubert*, who has worked for families in the US, New Zealand and Australia. "All these other jobs shouldn't be expected of you. It's important for families to realise they've got a real person from a different culture there, not just a cleaner." A family's true colours are often revealed when things go wrong. An Italian au pair working for a Perth family was seriously burnt when the pressure cooker she was using exploded. As she lay in hospital, the family terminated her employment. One of the biggest flashpoints occurs around accidents, such as when au pairs inadvertently crash the family car. Agency contracts stipulate that au pairs driving the car in their own time are liable for the insurance excess. If they are ferrying the children around, then it's the host family's responsibility. "It's always a lot of money; it's very painful for the host family," says Smartaupairs chief executive Nicole Kofkin. A successful placement quickly unravelled when one of her agency's au pairs ran up the back of another car while driving the kids.

"Everything had been so happy – the au pair had extended [her stay with the family]. That long-term relationship can be wiped out when the family gets so angry, saying, 'Why didn't you pay attention?' and so on." The host family tried to deny the au pair her completion bonus, in lieu of the insurance excess they had been forced to pay. "You can't hold that back; they are owed that bonus," says Kofkin. Au pairs can do wrong by families, too. One Sydney mother arrived home to find a note from her au pair informing her she'd quit and was on her way to Melbourne to watch the soccer, leaving the family with no childcare arrangements. But families need to be mindful of the enormous power imbalance that exists in an au pair-host family relationship. Au pairs are often teenagers, living in their home and dependent on them for food, a roof over her head, money and security. "A lot of au pairs are very young," says University of Technology, Sydney law lecturer Laurie Berg, who is researching the working conditions of au pairs in Australia. "They can be very reliant on the family, and families can take advantage of that.

"Most families don't, but some do." Berg says the fundamental problem with au pairing in Australia is that it is completely unregulated, with no set rules about what such an arrangement entails. "Is it a cultural exchange? Is it a job? Is it some sort of melange of a rental agreement and childcare?" A quick trawl of local Facebook au pair pages reveals astonishing work conditions. A Melbourne family said the au pair would be sharing a bedroom with their three-year-old daughter, while a Sydney mother was seeking someone to work 50 hours a week. Most au pairs in Australia work 25 to 30 hours a week for "pocket money" of around $10 an hour. The host family provides board and food, which can bring the hourly rate closer to $20 (similar to what childcare workers are paid). Yet some families will pay their au pairs less, arguing that perks such as Netflix and access to the car offset the lower pay. There is no sick or holiday pay and no formal notice period required.

Even if an au pair signs up to what appears to be a good arrangement, the reality can prove otherwise. One male au pair was dismissed because he didn't like eating meat, which his Sydney host mother said made him a bad role model for her six-year-old. Au pairs who go through an official agency – such as one that is part of the industry association – have more recourse when things go awry and enjoy better working conditions. Agencies screen families (police checks included) and speak to previous au pairs the family has employed. Such agencies have 24/7 helplines, and will try to mediate any problems that occur during a placement. They also monitor local au pair Facebook groups so they're aware of issues that are cropping up. The Cultural Au Pair Association of Australia is lobbying the federal government to introduce an au pair visa. "It has grown so quickly we need to regulate it to make sure the experience is a safe and rewarding cultural exchange," Wendi Aylward says. Nicole Kofkin says most au pairs won't tolerate ill-treatment. "The intelligent, determined young girls who do the au pair program come from middle-class families, they know their rights, they speak enough English, they know how to seek help," she says. "Most do speak up quite quickly if things go outside the boundaries of what's expected of them."

After being extracted from an environment in which she was vulnerable to an assault by the lodger, Jansen says she was lucky to have arranged her au pair placement through Kofkin's agency. "I was so happy I went through the agency because otherwise I wouldn't have had anything." Not only did Kofkin take Jansen in for the remainder of her stay in Australia, but also arranged work for her with another family close by. Jansen advises prospective au pairs to regularly Skype with their host family for up to two months before they arrive in Australia, and to speak to other au pairs who worked for that particular family, so they have a good idea of what the family is really like. "Listen to your gut feel," she says. She adds families also should be clear about what the role of an au pair is. "Don't treat them like your cook, your PA, don't ask them to do weird stuff," she says. "They are vulnerable and they don't like to say no, but it's not okay." •

Loading * Names have been changed. Originally published in Sunday Life magazine