"Blaaaaaaack people, y'got me on my knees, blaaaaack people, c'mon won't you please all leave or die ..." The strange thing about celebrity scandals like the recent Paula Deen racism controversy is how inconsistent we are with our outrage . We forever remember Michael Richards for screaming racial slurs, and Charlie Sheen will always be a punchline, but the vast majority of the world has forgotten that ...

5 Jimmy Page Kidnapped a 14-Year-Old Girl

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Jimmy Page is basically the reason you think guitars are awesome. His run with some rinky-dink garage band called Led Zeppelin set the benchmark for all hard rock and metal to come, while simultaneously pissing off any amateur guitarist who thought "Stairway to Heaven" didn't sound too difficult.

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And sure, he was no slouch in the deviant rock star department either, with tales of the band's outrageous behavior still being talked about today ("I heard they once used a live shark as a dildo!"). But that's par for the course, right? We like a little debauchery with our rock stars.

The Incident:

Of course, debauchery has its limits, such as kidnapping a 14-year-old girl, having sex with her, and keeping her behind closed doors for years so as to avoid jail time. Which, as you probably already figured, Page totally did.

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In 1972, Page was hanging around a nightclub and laid eyes on 14-year-old Lori Maddox. He liked what he saw and didn't give a shit that she was underage by, well, a lot. Why should he, after all? The club clearly didn't.