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Dear Amy: My boyfriend and I are a gay couple. We live on a very friendly working-class suburban street and get along well with all the neighbors, all of whom know that we are a couple.

We have a good friend whom I’ll call “Susan.” Susan is in her late 60s and is transgender. It’s not immediately obvious that she was not born female. (Most people probably attribute her low voice to the fact that she smokes like a chimney.) She often comes over to our house and sits with us on the terrace or works with us in the garden.

Our next-door neighbor is a 70-something widower, “Harold.”

I’m sure you can see where this is going. Harold has developed quite a crush on Susan. He flirts with her, gives her flowers, etc. We have no idea if he has even the slightest suspicion that she’s transgender.

Harold is a terribly nice guy, and I would hate to see him get more and more interested, only at some point to perhaps feel that he’s been made a fool of when he finds out the truth.

Do you think we should say anything to him before things go any further?