COS speaker shares her transgender journey

Opinions and stances change, but the requirements of a good parent remain the same.

Jeff Butterworth is a good parent. He was told so by a judge in 2007 during custody hearings that resulted in him being granted full rights to care for his three boys.

The same can certainly be said for Jessica Lynn, a traveling public speaker who operates a non-profit organization.

The difference is that Jessica Lynn has lost all parental rights of her youngest son, had her name stripped from his birth record, and has not been allowed to see or hear from him since 2009.

Jeff and Jessica are two different genders, but they are the same parent.

Jeff Butterworth successfully transitioned to become known as Jessica Lynn in 2009 after spending the entirety of her early life trapped inside the wrong body, she said.

Jessica thought at the time that her 10-year-old son was too young to discuss her transition, but now after being unable to explain it to him in person, she’s discussing it openly with the world.

Jessica Lynn, Isley Reust, and Carol Montgomery Brosnac, a psychotherapist specializing in transgender issues, speak about the transgender journey 2:30 p.m. Wednesday, Sept. 30, at the COS Theatre.

She admits that while stances and opinions on certain matter change, the opinions surrounding gender identity often remain staunchly defended. Altering that may not be an option, but providing understanding certainly is.

“You may be pro or against, that’s your choice,” Jessica Lynn said. “But every time I speak I get a letter afterward saying I opened a mind.”

It’s a very personal issue, and Lynn addresses it by telling her personal story.

“I transitioned at 35 years old, and because I did Texas removed my parental rights,” she said. “I decided to go out there and explain what I went through. It’s powerful and it opens their minds.”

She knows how difficult that can be in the largely conservative environment of the Central Valley as she once lived in Tulare while her son attended Tulare Western High School.

That was prior to her transition, a time that had Jessica gripped by depression.

“In part of my past I attempted suicide. I hadn’t slept for days. I actually went to the psychiatric hospital in Visalia,” she recalled. “The local area there is a very conservative area.”

She isn’t alone in describing the depths of depression that attitudes of nonacceptance can result in.

According Caitlin Ryan, a social worker and director of the Family Acceptance Project who spoke at COS in 2012, gay, lesbian and transgender teens who are rejected by their families have higher rates of suicide and alcohol and drug consumption.

Her speaking engagement came just a few months after the suicide of Eric James Borges.

Borges was a student at College of the Sequoias and a volunteer with The Trevor Project, an organization that advocates acceptance for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgender and youths who still question their sexuality.

As Jessica notes, even communities that are widely recognized for providing support can be alienating.

“There’s even discrimination within the LGBT community,” she said. “People think that wanting to be a woman is a choice. They think of it in terms of whether you’re gay or not. If you want to wear a dress that you’re gay. It’s completely different.”

The goal is to change the image that has been lodged in the public’s mind, an image that even Jessica mocked herself.

Take a look at her fellow speaker Isley Reust, a musician with the band Spectacular Spectacular who appeared on the show “Glee” and is working on an upcoming film.

Sporting striking blonde hair, a flowery dress, and a guitar in her hands beside the sea, she is a veritable model.

“When I was a kid, when we saw a guy in a dress on the tv we laughed at them. Now today we look at someone like Isly and say what a beautiful girl,” Jessica Lynn said. “She has a penis, but who cares?”

Employers, for one.

“The transgendered community is the most discriminated. We can still be fired for who we are,” Lynn said. “The transgendered community is also the hardest to reach.”

Dedicated to meet that reach Jessica Lynn and Laverne Cox created the non-profit organization Your True Gender to help anyone with the process of transitioning.

The very first three-day conference is scheduled for Oct. 9-11 in San Luis Obispo at Cal Poly.

“This is a reach out to everybody. There’s a million shades of gray,” she said. “This is why we’re doing this — so people can help discover themselves. The government took away my right to be a parent, to my child. Here I had two therapists who said I am a better parent, and a judge took away my parental rights because I transitioned.”

“They don’t even do that to animals,” she said.

With multiple speaking engagements scheduled across the country at highly respected institutions like the Kinsey Institute, Dartmouth, and Notre Dam, among others, she’s starting to expose that animalistic treatment.

“That’s huge,” she said. “They’re starting to open their eyes.”

Details: Jessica Lynn, Isley Reust, and Carol Montgomery Brosnac, a psychotherapist specializing in transgender issues, speak about the transgender journey 2:30 p.m. - 5:30 p.m. Wednesday, Sept. 30, at the COS Theatre.