It’s hard enough being the only woman in the room, and then to come out as gay? It’s even harder, says Hayley Sudbury. But there’s a “different energy” when you have a diverse workplace that includes people of different backgrounds, ethnicities and genders. “That’s what gets me out of bed in the morning,” she says.

The situation for many LGBT workers in the male-dominated tech industry can be trying, with instances of bullying and hostility commonplace. A 2017 report by the Kapor Center for Social Impact, which surveyed more than 2,000 people who had left a job in the tech sector in the past three years, found 24% of LGBT people had experienced public humiliation or embarrassment, and 64% of LGBT employees who were bullied said the experience contributed to their decision to leave.

It doesn’t help that there are very few women leaders in tech who are openly gay. Just two made this year’s list of 100 LGBT executive role models, published by the Financial Times in October: Sudbury and Cynthia Fortlage, from GHY International. Seven gay male leaders made the list.

Sudbury, a vocal advocate of women and LGBT inclusion, says having a better gender balance will make tech workplaces not just more inclusive for women, but LGBT people too.

One way to make workplaces more inclusive is through mentoring and role models, Sudbury says. It’s a lesson she learned the hard way. Despite being a vocal advocate of LGBT representation, Sudbury hasn’t always felt able to speak openly in the workplace about her sexuality. She grew up in an entrepreneurial family in north Queensland, Australia. After moving to the UK for a second time at 27 she worked in finance, another male-dominated industry. “I picked up that being a gay woman wasn’t celebrated,” she says.

Sudbury left so she could work out what success looked like in the context of being a woman who was openly gay. “There were no visible gay women at that point that I could point to who were CEOs or in positions of power,” she says. “So I felt like I had to leave and do something different for a time.”

Picking up various pieces of consulting work, she tried to work out her next professional step. “It was my walk into the wilderness,” she says. “I was in a serious same-sex relationship at the time, but struggled to present myself as a gay woman in the male-dominated workplaces I was working in.” Overhearing homophobic comments made it worse. “I remember once overhearing a conversation about a colleague who had been to a play that had homosexuality in it and he was grossed out by it,” she says. “It’s those conversations in the workplace that inform how comfortable people feel about coming out, whether it’s said by a man or woman.” Sudbury says she also knows people who have hidden the fact that they are LGBT when raising money from investors.

But it’s hard to connect with colleagues in the workplace when you’re hiding something about yourself, Sudbury says. “People sense it and they attribute it to all sorts of different things, like they think maybe you’re looking for a job elsewhere,” she says. “But the reality is you are hiding a part of yourself.”

Eventually Sudbury founded Werkin, a platform that connects mentors and mentees across global organisations via an app. And she decided to be open about her sexuality. It wasn’t immediately “all rainbow flags from day one”, she says, but being a woman who is openly gay in tech feels great. “There’s a real power and freedom in being your whole self,” she says.

Now Sudbury wants to be a role model and facilitator of mentoring for others. Mentorship can help tackle the “pipeline” problem that prevents women and minority groups from reaching leadership positions, she says. “It’s hugely important – connecting allies.” For example, mentoring can be used to help guide lesbian and bisexual women through the politics of coming out or being out at work.

“Whether you’re coming out late after being in a straight relationship, which is an issue that’s come up on a few occasions, you’re navigating your family’s response, or you just want support with accepting yourself, it’s about finding the person who can actually help,” she says.

Business leaders must also tackle their unconscious biases and sponsor a more diverse range of people, she says. That way we can see more women in leadership roles who are openly gay. “I rocked up at an LGBT event a few months ago and ended up in a breakout group that was all men,” she says. “They were all very senior people and for a minute I took a step back, despite being there as an expert in my area.”

Sudbury is also a regular speaker at LGBT-focused events and is actively involved with communities such as Lesbians Who Tech, which describes itself as a community for queer woman in the tech industry. She also sits on the steering committee of LB Women, which celebrates the success of lesbian and bisexual women.

Unlike her earlier experiences, Sudbury wants young LGBT women who are interested in tech to have role models. The tide is turning against the stereotypical “all male bro culture”, she says.

“There’s a lot more support than there was even five years ago,” she says. “I don’t think it’s necessarily so hard to come out [in tech workplaces] any more and having a gender mix in an organisation always makes it better. It feels like things can change,” Sudbury says. “But there’s still quite way to go.”