Yep, you heard me. Loui will score more goals than Marchand, Bergeron, Krejci, Iginla or Lucic. Here’s why.

Okay B’s fans, it’s time to stop throwing a fit about the Seguin trade. We lost one of Boston’s party boys and there’s nothing we can do about it except move on. Yes, Seguin is probably going to score 30-plus goals a season for the next decade. Yes, he’s going to drink until his balls fall off. And yes, he’s absolutely going to bang out every puck slut within a 100 mile radius of the American Airlines Center in Dallas. I’m going to miss him just as much as anyone else but it’s time to let it go and realize what we got in return.

So, who the hell is Loui Eriksson? Well, he’s the exact opposite of Seguin. Loui’s not as fast, or as flashy, or as drunk, or as STD infested (not a fact, I’m just assuming Seguin is a dirty dog and I think most would agree). But what Loui lacks in comparison to Seguin he more than makes up for in the other aspects of his game. He’s a smart, powerful goal scorer who has proven his ability to net 30-plus goals a season. His last five seasons: 36 goals, 29 goals, 27 goals, 26 goals, and 12 goals in last year’s shortened season.

Is he a sniper? No, not necessarily. Can he wheel? Sometimes. Are his hands sexy? Kind of. So how does he score all these goals? Loui’s they type of player that’s always in the right place at the right time. He’s one of the best in the league when it comes to reading plays and anticipating his next move. He scores grinder type goals, and plays his best hockey when his team is trailing and needs a big goal. Now what team thrives on that old-time-hockey style of play? Oh yeah. The god damn Bruins, that’s who! This guy is going to feel right at home under Claude Julien.

Loui has a lot of skill but adds even more value with his durability. The guy is an absolute gamer. In his last five seasons with the Stars he missed only two games, TWO GAMES. He’s not very well known around the league yet, being stuck in Dallas for the last seven seasons, but now that he’s in the Boston spotlight that will all change come next season. He was netting huge numbers on an average Dallas squad, imagine what this guy is going to accomplish surrounded by a more talented Boston roster. Mark my words, Loui will lead the Bruins in goal scoring next season. Pin him with Bergy and March and just watch it happen. Tell me I’m wrong. I dare you.

Reporter wants to get Loui drunk and take complete advantage of him: