FAIRFAX, VA—Tearing up as she reflected on the significance of Hillary Clinton being named the presumptive Democratic candidate, 85-year-old voter Deborah Hanson told reporters Wednesday she never thought she’d get to see a female presidential nominee be called a heartless ice bitch during her lifetime. “When I was growing up, things were so different—it just didn’t seem possible that I’d live to see the day when a woman would be selected to top a major political party’s ticket while incessantly being called a shrieking harpy,” said the retired schoolteacher, adding that even decades of advocating for women’s equality hadn’t fully prepared her for the reality of actually being able to cast her vote for a woman described by critics on social media as a rotten old cunt who’s so fugly it was no wonder her husband slept with other women. “I’ve never forgotten that when I was a little girl, people said a woman could never be president, and now look how far we’ve come. To be so close to seeing the first woman who’s alternately labeled both a lying whore and a psycho feminazi bimbo occupy this nation’s highest office, and to watch her make important decisions about this country’s future that would be relentlessly criticized as being the product of hysterical menopausal rages, would be nothing short of amazing.” Hanson told reporters that while she understood the concerns of younger liberal women who oppose Clinton’s candidacy, she hoped they would recognize how hard so many generations of American women had fought for a day when one of their own could become the most powerful person referred to as a frumpy, frigid bull dyke in the nation.

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