Women in Tech is a Family Issue

Overcoming gender biases starts with family and company culture, ends with society’s support.

@kevindelvecchio unsplash.com

For 13 years, I worked in the technology industry side by side with men from different cultural backgrounds. I was one of many technology women who were fortunate enough to be the first wave of female hirings in technology during the start of the Internet Age. After a career spanning a few countries, with a few large Investment Banks, I quit this career to start a family. Well, not exactly.

The real reason was that I needed to recuperate. I needed to recover my own self-worth.

My self-worth slowly chipped away all throughout the years as I dealt with inequalities large and small in my workplace. None of my experiences were unusual. Most of the “stronger” women that I knew dealt with these inequalities all their lives. Dealing with these inequalities became second nature to them. However, I didn’t get used that.

A few examples of subtle inequalities in my work place were:

The only women’s bathroom on my office floor was centrally located next to several popular conference rooms. It was difficult to want to go to the bathroom since you can literally feel people looking at you as you passed by their desks. On the other hand, the men’s bathroom was located far away in a corner next to the elevators. Men frequently escaped to this bathroom to take a moment for themselves.

Most of the managers that I had in my entire career were male. I remember male colleagues frequently whispered about the female managers who were very successful. They often attributed those female manager’s power to the male managers that they served. The female managers were described as the “executors” of the male manager’s plans. These females were good at “logistics” and “operations”.

After work, male colleagues often invited me out to have “team drinks” with them. During these “team drinks”, male colleagues often tried to get young female colleagues drunk in an effort to have a “story” to tell the next day. It was a way to gain leverage by smearing the woman’s reputation at work.

Once an upper manager said to me, “You are like a high-risk stock. If we learn to manage the risk, then you can pay immense dividends.” I didn’t even know how to respond to that.

Another manager once said to me, “It’s good that you are good looking. That’s why the clients (who were really pissed off) are much nicer to you. Keep up the good work.” That manager sent me to every angry client to absorb the “shock” before he talked to them. After several years, I realized that this manager hired me simply to deal with “angry” clients because I was supposedly “pretty”. But what he really meant was that as a woman, I was demure enough to diffuse the anger from male clients.

I can give more examples. But, I imagine there are women who have experienced more harassment than I have. At some point, to a lot of women who works in technology, with all the harassment and examples of inequality that piles up every day, it just doesn’t seem worth it anymore to climb that Corporate ladder.

Even though my female technology friends were talented, they all dreamed of the day that they can stay home with their kids.

I don’t blame them.

Even though we have made tremendous strides in educating women in STEM fields, the technology industry employs only 25% of women. The turnover rate for women in the technology industry is 41% versus 17% for men.

A staggering 56% of women in technology are leaving their employers mid-career.

Out of that, only 10% go to work for a startup company. Most of the other 46% of women either become self-employed or take time out.

Only 12% of all engineers at Silicon Valley startups are women.

Only 12% of machine learning jobs in Artificial Intelligence are held by women.

Just looking at these statistics, I realized that I wasn’t alone in leaving technology mid-career. Other women found working for themselves, working at startups much more appealing for their career than working for technology companies or fortune 500 companies.

How do we create an environment for more women to work in technology?

Creating the best work environment for women to work in technology actually starts at home. Work-life balance is the number one issue brought up by women working in technology.

Engineering jobs today often demand long hours on both men and women. Many women of child-rearing age have family commitments such as taking care of children or taking care of elderly parents. In this case, it is virtually impossible to achieve work-life balance at a 70 hour work week job while balancing caregiving duties.

At home, women must have caretakers who they can trust to take care of their children. These women’s partners have to understand women’s commitment to their jobs. In a home with the traditional gender-role, women are forced to stay home to care for the children or the elderly. This gender-role model has to be changed to include men in the care-taking role. Care-taking duties have to be split evenly between members of the household regardless of gender.

In order to support these families, companies have to implement flexible family arrangements for both men and women to take time off for care-taking duties. Companies have to understand the importance of family in their employee’s lives.

On top of that, within the company culture, there must be a “mindset” change regarding the role of women on a team. Companies can promote women into roles traditionally less held by women. They can break the “stereotype” and set examples for male colleagues to accept women into more technical roles. Companies also have to integrate gender diversity and gender equality policies into their hiring practices and management practices.

Finally, at the society level, government can support companies by passing maternity leave laws and child-care policies. Local career centers in communities can champion female candidates for work in the technology field. Churches and local day-care centers can work with as many fathers as mothers to take care of the children.

Most of all, as mothers and fathers, we can educate our children to break gender stereotypes. Our boys should be allowed to play with “girl” toys while girls should be allowed to play with “boy” toys.

This is a lot of work for everyone: family, company and society. Everyone must have a “mindset” change around the gender issue.

Accepting the status-quo while championing the impossible.

Overnight, there won’t be a sudden increase in women in technology.

As women, we have to speak up.

As men who champion women, we must speak up.

Accepting the status quo means that we will move backwards in diversity. It means “giving up” on integration and acceptance. We’ve worked for women’s rights for centuries now.