Translated from Japanese to Russian by Diana_ together with Russian DIR EN GREY COMMUNITY



Note of translator: In Japan, interviews and conversations in magazines are not made according to the rules of writing. They retain the structure of oral speech. Kaoru speaks and writes in quite a simple manner, no sophisticated beautiful words used, repeats himself sometimes, uses Kansai dialect. The book keeps his natural way of expressing himself in everyday life. His notes have not been edited according to the rules of writing. Now, remember that this book is a collection of notes, some of them quite old, so while Kaoru speaks in present time like “this guitar is new”, you shouldn’t forget he might have written that few years ago.



Foreword. A complete zero:



I started writing these notes in the spring of 2012 when DIR EN GREY took a hiatus. Nothing is easy of course, but writing these texts was really very difficult. Even just writing about random stuff takes time. And now, the work of the amateur like me who has taken up the pen is published and stands on bookshelves.



I was born and raised in Hyogo Prefecture. My parents wanted me to grow an intelligent person, so they named me Kaoru - after a family relative who was a scientist. However, despite the hopes of my parents, I was completely unable to learn. Perhaps it was a mistake, but I plunged myself into the world of heavy music, putting my hair up, using makeup and playing wild loud music.

If you think about it, it’s been over 20 years since I’ve started playing in bands. So in this book, published by a big misunderstanding, I describe a half of my life.

Perhaps the book doesn’t make a strong impression on you when finished, but try to be understanding to me.

Chapter I. Hellish purple

I decided to start writing despite the fact that I was full of doubts deep in my heart, because people understand words differently and it is so easy to really hurt or upset someone. I was afraid of this. So I had to be very selective about words and expressions - that would give me a way to escape. I used to be incautious with what I had said to other people and then regreted it deeply. I had to grow up.

No matter how difficult the first step might be, no matter how afraid I am, there’s no turning back now - I need to start writing. While listening to a remix of Morbid Angel (american death metal band), I sit down and begin. Their musiс on the remix album differs significantly from the original - that’s interesting.

Together with the editor, I’ve thought a lot about how to start writing a book.

The easiest way is to write about myself. One can always write about how he lived. At first I just wanted to describe the events of my life as they occurred, but they became vague in my memory so it was not easy.

Since writing about myself in a free form didn’t work out, I decided to choose one specific topic and write about everything that concerned it. So I chose something that has been surrounding me for quite a long time - guitars. I’m going to talk about one of my guitars monthly, write about my thoughts and feelings that are associated with it. I’m going to recall, to the possible extent, events and conversations of the times when I bought it.

At some point, it seemed to me that I was repeating myself, but I decided not to pay any attention to it and write on a whim, having absolutely no idea of how it would turn out.

I wanted to choose something simpler for the first note and so I focused on the newest VP with a purple glitter, but it turned out that the word “simpler” does not apply to it at all.

The guitar is quite new, it is not related to any particular memories yet, the most interesting things we have to go through together are still in the future. This is a purple laminated guitar I’ve always wanted to have and play it live.

My sempai had a similar guitar. So to avoid any resemblance, I decided to change it a little bit, and as soon as I received his approval, I immediately did so! Thank you, CIPHER (D'ERLANGER guitarist)!

My guitar differs from the original manufacturer’s model. It was perfect from the first time I took it into my hands. And I still use it.

The guitar was ready during our tour, the first time I played it was at rehearsal of “encore” songs. I was worried and tired from the previous rehearsal, but as they brought my guitar in, it all didn’t matter. You might think it’s naive, but getting brand new things makes me really happy. I like to examine this guitar from time to time, hold her in my hands in front of a mirror and tell myself just how gorgeous she is. This feeling never changes.

Why purple? I just like it, I think that it combines both light and shadow, without being too aggressive. I myself never liked to stand out and be in the spotlight. But if you think, I have almost no purple belongings at all.

The only things that are purple at my place are replicas of Eve and Dom (from the Gundam series) made by my friend. I used to dye my hair purple and buy purple shoes once, though. Incidentally, before I started dying my hair purple, I used to dye it blue. But blue would always turn into green after washing and I did not like that. So I had to put a purple dye first, and only then cover it up with blue. As a result, I decided to just leave it purple.

Maybe I just don’t love this color that much, since I have almost no purple

stuff? I did not choose it on purpose. Although I have the image of a person who loves purple. But I would not say I give it a priority in my daily life.

What do I mean? Sometimes I really don’t understand why I like some hellish purple color. Perhaps will it become clear as I write.

Of course, it depends on me solely which songs to be written with this guitar, which music played live, but I will definitely follow the atmosphere it creates. I think I can write about it here then.

One more thing I want to say. Old guitars can take you back to the times you thought were blurred out in your memory. When looking at them, I am able to remember and experience feelings from the past again. And then I can write it down and send it to the editor. They really help me out, the guitars.

It has a great influence on me when I write about complex things, gives me some interesting food for thought. So read my notes calmly, without any great expectations.

Until next time! Which guitar should I pick for the next time?

P.S. Perhaps I will write about something that is not related to guitars in the future. I would like to keep writing until I have a whole book. But I absolutely can not imagine when that happens.