Here's another harebrained leftist scheme for you. Communist garden gnome Bernie Sanders claims he's completely solved our unemployment woes. For reals:

Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) is set to announce a federal jobs proposal that would guarantee a job with at least a $15-per-hour wage and health benefits to every adult American “who wants or needs one,” The Washington Post reports.

Well, since we're going for broke, how's about throwing in a Rolex, a Cadillac and a starting spot in the NFL.

Sanders's office has yet to release the details of the plan's funding, but previous large-scale projects proposed by the Vermont progressive have involved ending tax breaks for the wealthiest Americans and large corporations.

Yeah, that plan is a pretty tall order, to say the least. Little Bernard thinks he can reach into his magic bag and pull out an infinite number of jobs. That strategy works if you're a North Pole-dweling pudgy fellow in red. A disheveled communist from Vermont, not so much.

On the other hand, Bernie himself knows a thing or two about unemployment. You know, seeing as he was a jobless bum until he was 40. Maybe he would be the one to fix unemployment, since he has so much experience in the matter.

Bernie's arrogance is astounding. He seems to believe his senatorial power gives him the ability to pull economic prosperity from his hiney-hole. It's akin to Kim Jong Un thinking he can control the weather with his thoughts. You know, come to think of it, that's not their only similarity.

It's gonna be hard for Comrade Sanders to pull off this socialist wizardry. Especially considering his blatant anti-business policies. He wants taxes to be higher than the crowd at Burning Man. Also, a government leash shoved up every business owner's rectum. Not to mention forcing employers to pay health insurance and at least $15 an hour to every worker. Them policies ain't exactly conducive for total employment, you know.

Not even the staunchest free-marketeer is braindead bold enough to believe the invisible hand can guarantee 0% unemployment. On the other hand, leftists like Bernie think their Marxist witchcraft will make it happen. Just because.

Total employment is a pipe dream, plain and simple. If by some miracle it were possible, socialism would be the least viable method of bringing it to reality.

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