!! This site BANNED at the University of Colorado !! (details)

The Bachelor Hall of Fame

Specific topics, in no particular order. Just jump in anywhere...

[External links open up in a new window, which can be closed in Windows with a Ctrl-W.]

Special Martian Reports

** Twenty-one Points for Women Who Want Their Man to "Open Up", by Jack Kammer

** Registering Women for the Draft, by Rich Zubaty (w/Albert Einstein)

** Why Chicks Dig Jerks, by Matthew Fitzgerald

** Women Who Kill/Rape Too Much and the Courts That Free Them

** Varieties of Feminism

** ET - Clone Home!

** Miss America `98/9 (`99/00 & later to be posted soon - yea right!)

** Mall Santa Accosted by Out of Control Woman

** Barbie writes to Santa

Coming soon: Cytherean mail-order brides! Oops, forgot - unlike Mars, Venus is uninhabitable, which is no doubt why they moved to Earth and took over.

Other Good Martian Pages

There's a life size Martian for sale, along with other goodies, at The Mad Martian Museum of Modern Madness.

Intermission - Mars.com? What a waste of a good domain name.

Get your Martian weather report here.

And how come men. org is a porn site??! (some non-profit...)

Other Bachelor Pages

The Brotherhood of Eternal Bachelors sounds good, but these guys look downright dangerous. Pass the testosterone please, and fire when ready. (Has all the good links I didn't find first...)

Buck Bangalore's Better Bachelor Living has some kind of a retro/hip/flashy style, in case you missed his guide to girlfriends under the Classes page.

He doesn't yet realize he's a Martian, no doubt because he's too young, but the creator of the "Chicks Suck" website shows all the proper signs.

It's impossible to be a bachelor and not also be a Man, so be sure to check out Man's Life -- if only because they're so damned fond of these here pages. Lot's of great guy stuff there.

Must-read for Men: Conception by Deception, by Tracy Quan.

Must-read #2: A Man's Right to Choose, by Cathy Young.

(The first page of letters in response to the piece also make worthwhile reading.)

Must-read #2½: Ronald D. Burke's informative article on this same topic.

Similar to zed the zen priest's pages in dealing a lot with feminism, but evidently also a bachelor and having some first-hand material on the consequences, is Think Bomb's site in lovely Australia.

I'm sorry to point you to this page, because I think we lost a bachelor -- but got some pages (or the beginnings at least) in the exchange. It's like now that this guy is married he's suddenly an expert on bachelorhood -- at the level of sit-com stereotypes. Sheesh, it's even in his girlfriend/wife's account. There are one or two other pages out there devoted to the notion that what a bachelor really needs is a mommy to cook, clean, and do laundry for him. But I'll spare you the agony...

It's not exactly in the same vein as the rest of these -- except in name -- but you might want to cheer up Mike Kelley by giving his Grumpy Bachelor page a try.

And, finally, this list wouldn't be complete without a link to Cosmopolitan Magazine's Ken Doll / Earth Bachelor of the Month. One can only hope they're getting equal pay for equal modelling work... Just kidding.

Speaking of magazines, here's one every bachelor will certainly love...

Other Related and Semi-Related Sites

Worship Pages



The Dark Brunette Worship Page is just plain adoration of hominid fertility goddesses, nothing more.

Others being worked on...



Credits, Counts, and Misc Closing Comments

My logo, Curly, was sampled and adapted for use here from the liner notes to the CD compilation "WipeOut XL" (Astralwerks). [ Even more info ] I understand this is also a Sony Playstation and PC CD-ROM game. "Slow minds will fear it..." If you're into such things, I'll heartily encourage you to get a copy because it's some of the best Martian music out there, and I'm hoping if I say that they all won't come down on me for trademark or copyright transgressions. Heck, just about everything here has been heavily sampled...

P.S. - the eye protection is necessary because Earth is 2/3 rds the distance of Mars from the Sun, so the latter is more than twice as bright here.