High Marks- Bad dubbing in a great way. The improvised soundtrack is something to behold. It feels like the composer was armed with a guitar, a garage sale Casio, and a washboard and just winging it while watching the movie. I’ m also convinced that the toddler in the movie is the drummer.

Loud pink shirt with matching pink beret. Great sheriff. Vintage pinball. Woman yelling out to her husband DICK repeatedly. Outstanding painting scene. Beautiful scenery. Crazy sleeping bag scene that rivals Friday The 13th Part VII and Prophecy. The killer reveal is HYSTERICAL. I wouldn’t dream of giving it away. Effective use of beads. Excessive twig-throwing. Spitting blood on the RV window to get a point across. Lots of gore effects.

Low Marks- Inept editing kills some of the suspense, but in an amusing way. For example, there’s a death scene that starts at night, continues to day, and then ends at night. No scares. Worst prank involving trail mix. Nobody to root for, they’re all dumb as shit. Some of the effects look bad, some blood looks like paint. One character is telling his girl by the campfire, “We’re gonna make it, we’re gonna make it!” But for some reason they didn’t dub him saying it the third time, even though you can clearly read his lips. Maybe it’s for audience participation, “WE’RE GONNA MAKE IT!”

There’s an embarrassing character in a wheelchair, trying to hike up a mountain. He’s even more useless than Franklin in The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The movie bogs down a bit about an hour in (imagine that). It’s a miracle that this shit is even watchable.

BEWARE! The song that plays during the end credits and over the DVD menu will get stuck in your head.

Classic Quote- “Gonna be one of those summers.”

Does Somebody Say The Title? Yes, twice. Just shy of five minutes in!

Firesuit Stuntman? Nope, but I’ll forgive this one.

Can I Watch This In One Sitting? Yeah, I’m amazed this movie moves at a pretty good clip. Its reputation made me think it was gonna be a slog, but it’s pretty entertaining! Very dumb, but fun.

Crazy Scale- Solid 6. The kills are pretty nuts and I mean…the guy in the wheelchair.

Cool Blu-Ray/DVD Extras

3 friggen commentaries! That’s 4 hours of people yammering about this flick!

There’s an hour-long catch up with cast and crew. Really interesting to hear all the different paths these nice people went down after Don’t Go In The Woods…alone! Screening stories, career changes, and plenty of self-deprecation keeps it nice and real. The director seems like a real sweet guy, makes me like the flick even more. We even get to see the “jingle-stick” (now jingle-less)!

A DVD signing party with a creepy Willem Dafoe-looking puppet interviewing cast and crew. It’s not as awkward as it sounds. The cast and crew are game, and there are some fun jabs from the puppet. He’s no Triumph, but he does the job. This goes on for about half an hour.

The trailer has one of the worst voiceovers I’ve ever heard. It sounds like Billy Dee Williams doing a shitty audiobook. Turns out it’s one of the victims from the movie.

There’s some cool promos made when the movie came out, where the star and director appear on some local Salt Lake City news channels. I love that Tom Drury is credited as Actor, Singer, Maniac.

They even include the damn script! You can read along to the Man In Wheelchair’s lines “Uh! Uh! UHHH!”

IS IT WORTH A BLIND BUY? Definitely, this is grade-A trash. Hours of entertaining extras to sweeten the deal. Plus they include a DVD copy if your Blu-Ray goes to hell.

DOES THIS MOVIE DESERVE A MOVIE NIGHT? Oh yeah, I can’t wait to show my friends—this will be a laugh riot. Don’t force anyone else to watch it though, strictly for horror and fans of dumb WTF movies. You need a high tolerance for stupid.

ONE SHOT: Don’t Go In The Woods…alone!