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Annoying Guildmate Roll Call

Written by Top 100 Arena on 2012-04-17

We all have them in our guilds or clans: those guildmates who drive us crazy with their foible and folly. Even the most close-knit guild has them. A guild is like a small family, and these are the black sheep. So what do they do that annoys us so much? Here are a few of the most annoying traits of our most annoying guildies. Special thanks go to Eternal Moon (AnimusRO, Warcraft retail) and Dragonguard Legion (LotRO, Guild Wars) for their input into this list!



The Egoist

He’s got the best gear in the game, he is max level, he is ownage at pvp or end-game content. And he knows it.... and won’t stop talking about it. Every guild has a guild member who is not only arrogant, but usually arrogant enough to think he carries the whole guild. He has no patience for the new people because they’re “noobs.” He’s pretty sure he’s not getting kicked from the guild because he’s just that good.



The Great Debater

You’re in the midst of a heavy PVP battle, and your leader gives out a command. “But,” says the Great Debater, “that will never work, we have to try this!” Some guildsmen are incapable of following orders as it is, but the Great Debater has to argue over everything. This goes from leader commands to gear drops to what toilet paper you use in real life - if there’s an argument to be found or a disagreement to be had, the Great Debater will start it, not to stir up trouble (which usually happens anyway) but because it’s his nature to be argumentative.



The Perfect Noob

You’ve got one who can’t pull damage numbers, isn’t wearing the right gear, or just can’t play his class well, so you try to help by offering constructive criticism.... and he flips out. The Perfect Noob knows he’s as good as the Egoist - except he isn’t - and won’t adjust anything in order to better his game. Some people are just set in their ways, and some think they don’t need the advice. Some think they have been playing long enough to not have to be told anything new, even when it’s fairly obvious that something new would help them out a lot.



The Wanderer

Mention was made of the Great Debater, who argues any orders given. The Wanderer is almost worse because at least the Great Debater acknowledges the order. The Wanderer doesn’t follow the chain of command at all in times of drama rather than go to guild leadership with it he’ll go talk to any old person and expect something get done about it. Or, he’ll go to the guild leader with some detail that there’s an officer in place to handle. Either way, he turns the chain of command into a knot of spaghetti. He may even ignore it completely.



The Traitor

The guy was a total noob when he joined. You helped him gear up and taught him the mechanics of the game. He suddenly becomes ownage, and next thing you know, he leaves the guild for bigger things, more hard-core raiders, or the winning PVP guild. He shuns all the help you gave him, talking more about all the toil he did all by himself at getting his equips. Especially if he really is one of the better players of your game, he might even consider you “noobs” because he has surpassed you in game play.



The Freeloader

When you’ve got someone who can’t possibly do anything without anyone else’s help, who can’t seem to raise their own money or get their own gear, you’ve got a Freeloader. They’re always borrowing from other guildies, be it money, gear, or assistance. Completely dependent on the rest of the guild, the Freeloader can’t do anything for himself. His gameplay never advances, and he holds back the rest of the team by demanding time which could be better used.



The Drama Whore

There are two kinds of Drama Whores. The first is the one who blows everything out of proportion. Any time the smallest negative thing happens - you wipe a raid, or he doesn’t get a drop - this type of Drama Whore makes it into a huge crisis. The second type is the rumor-monger, who runs around to each guildie separately and spreads gossip or even lies about other guild mates. Both are Drama Whores because what happens next is the whole guild is in an uproar because of their influence.



The Tease

This is the girl of the group who hooks all the guys in. She’ll flirt all over your Ventrillo and the guys will give her free stuff just cuz they all love her and she seems available. In the end though, she just likes to flirt with the guys. Even worse is when she is a guy, a situation known as tarping. The Tease can spell trouble for your happy family because her flirting makes all the alpha males go at odds, scattering them like billiard balls.



The Know-It-All

In the most condescending tone known to man, the Know-It-All tells you how to play your class, even if you’ve been playing it for years and he just looked it up on some reference site (in this case you are not the Perfect Noob). He knows all the classes, just ask him. He knows all the game mechanics. He knows everything. The problem is, he either doesn’t know as much as he thinks he does, or he’s so full of himself because of his vast game knowledge that nobody wants his help, no matter how good it is. Unfortunately, there are Knowledgable Gamers who get mistaken all the time for Know-It-Alls, and vast treasure troves of game knowledge do not get shared because everyone is turned off by the Know-It-All’s ego.



Nobody’s Perfect

In the end, there are all sorts of annoying traits your fellow guildsmen might have. The profiles listed are not all-inclusive. However, these are traits that seem to turn up time and time again in different guilds all over various video games. How you choose to deal with them if and when they show up in your guild is up to your guild’s leadership. Good luck!