Over on Facebook, David Hillis, an evolutionary biologist at the University of Texas, took up my question as to whether anyone can define life in three words. His short answer was no, but his long answer, which I've stitched together here from a series of comments he wrote, was very interesting (links are mine):

Like all historical entities (including other biological taxa), it is only sensible to "define" Life ostensively (by pointing to it, noting when and where it began, and following its lineages from there) rather than intensionally (using a list of characteristics). This applies to the taxon we call Life (hence capitalized, as a formal name). You could define a class concept called life (not a formal taxon), but then that concept would clearly differ from person to person (whereas it is much less problematic to note examples of the taxon Life). So, I'd say that I can point to and circumscribe Life, and that it the appropriate way to "define" any biological taxon. A list of its unique characteristics is then a diagnosis, rather than a definition. So, I'd argue that any intensional definition of Life is illogical (does not recognize the nature of Life), no matter how many words are used.

Defining Life (the taxon) is like defining other particular historical entities. We don't "define" Carl Zimmer or the United States of America by listing out their attributes. Instead, we point to their origin and history. The same should be true for Life. If we ever discover a Life2, we'll have a new origin and history to point to.

The question people actually want to ask is "Are there entities in the universe that are similar to the Life we know about here on Earth?" The answer, of course, depends on what people mean by the arbitrary meaning of "similar". One person might answer "I mean 'self-replicating with variations'." Then, the answer is yes: humans have created imperfectly self-replicating systems ("artificial life") here on Earth. But then someone else says "But that is not what I meant by similar...I meant that they had to have metabolism and cellular structure and a nucelic-acid-based genetic system." OK, then we have to keep looking to find something that similar. But then someone else says "But that's pretty arbitrary...I'd still consider it alive if it didn't have cellular structure." Exactly...it is indeed arbitrary to argue over how similar something has to be to consider it "similar" to Life. So, in the end, we can ostensively define Life (by referencing its origin and history), and we can do the same for other historical entities that some people might also want to say are alive, but there can be no simple "right" answer that will satisfy everyone about which entities should be considered alive, because we all emphasize different characteristics in defining an arbitrary class concept of "life".