I don’t plan on being here tomorrow for a while so I went to see Al today. He was sleeping when I arrived. I woke him up and he waved and I saw a half a smile. He sat up and began to tell me about last night.

He said it was real hard to eat because he didn’t feel good but he made himself eat. From 8p to 12a he said he felt funny. He seemed pretty good now and even after I asked him the 20 questions I didn’t get any real answers.

He told me a story about how the aides made him walk behind his wheelchair last evening after supper. I asked the nurse about it and she talked to Al in front of me. She told him that she pushed him down to his room. Then he went on to another time when he used to walk and he didn’t feel well enough to walk. She told him he was talking maybe about last week.

It was obvious that he was having some dementia. This nurse is my favorite and I know if she said she pushed him, she did. He and I ate lunch together but he was pretty much in the dazed look for the most part. He kept telling me he didn’t feel good but he didn’t know where he felt bad at.

He was eating and except for the Parkinson stare I couldn’t see anything. As usual I finished my meal before him so I just people watched. I was watching Al trying to get the food on his spoon but most of it was going in his lap.

Then I saw the problem. I saw it but I couldn’t say anything to him. I saw his nurse standing at the cafeteria door so I told Al I would be right back. I walked up to her and asked if she had a moment.

We found a little spot where we could talk and I told her that I thought I knew why he has not been feeling well. I explained about his gray nails. When I looked at Al trying to eat the gray nails stood right out at me.

My stomach started hurting and I could feel my heart racing. She said, I am sorry Terry. His heart is just really suffering from his disease. I knew in my heart that is what she was going to say.

I swallowed the lump beginning to form in my throat and told her thanks for her help. I plastered my smile back on my face and wiped the one tear trying to run down my face. I walked back over to where Al was sitting and I sat back down.

He gave me another half-smile and I placed my hand over his and all I could get out of my mouth is I love you Bud, don’t ever forget this. He gave me a big smile then. He took his hand and rubbed over his chest area and I excused myself to go to the ladies room.

I came back in time to push him back to his room. I helped him on the potty and then I came home.

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