Giant Dad looked at the phallic Zweihander in his hands and felt euphoric.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his golden surroundings. He had always loved shiny Anor Londo with its shaky, shy Smough's hot ass. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel euphoric.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Rafix2105 Dexfag. Rafix2105 was a like vaati gay with puny arms and weak butt.

Giant gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a legendary, casul, Estus drinker with strong arms and tight butt. His friends saw him as a loopy, lazy legend. Once, he had even jumped into a river and saved a depressed Solaire.

But not even a legendary person who had once jumped into a river and saved a depressed Solaire, was prepared for what Rafix2105 had in store today.

The sun shone like r1 spamming Sifs, making Giant sadfaec.

As Giant stepped outside and Rafix2105 came closer, he could see the fluttering glint in her eye.

"I am here because I want souls," Rafix2105 bellowed, in a horny tone. She slammed her fist against Giant's chest, with the force of 4443 Drakes. "I frigging hate you, Giant Dad."

Giant looked back, even more sadfaec and still fingering the phallic Zweihander. "Rafix2105, ur a casul," he replied.

They looked at each other with dank feelings, like two helpful, healthy Hollows leveling str at a very crappy DLC release, which had dubstep music playing in the background and two scrubby uncles minmaxing to the beat.

Suddenly, Rafix2105 lunged forward and tried to punch Giant in the face. Quickly, Giant grabbed the phallic Zweihander and brought it down on Rafix2105's skull.

Rafix2105's puny arms trembled and her weak butt wobbled. She looked MLG, her body raw like a kindly, kindhearted Katana.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Rafix2105 Dexfag was dead.

Giant Dad went back inside and made himself a nice drink of Estus.

THE END