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Things back fired for a Somerset douche donkey when he went on the Threw Up In Fall River Facebook page and posted a video of his sausage cushion instigating his grandmother and grandfather at the house they’re living in:

Holy moly, I thought that sentence would never end!!

I need a Fall River to English dictionary for this one.

So according to James Coyle, they’re…

living with his grandfather, who is suffering from dementia

His grandfather’s wife (which usually is known as your “grandmother) is torturing the old man by vacuuming

They just want to knock James down for “seeing me do good for once”

They try feeding the grandfather because the grandmother is plotting to starve him to death

Grandma pops mad adderalls and may be using his girlfriend to sell them

Something about his sister not coming over anymore because Grandma is busting through doors

Something about Grandma robbing the vets

Looking to move out, and somehow have a budget of $1900 a month with first, last and security, but yet they’re still choosing to live with his grandparents

Now let’s check out what went down….

So let me get this straight…….we’re supposed to be upset with the grandmother and not the able bodied velociratchet who relentlessly instigates her without any context in that 60 second video? Because getting up in Grandma’s grill while holding a blunt object like you’re Miss Scarlett is a perfectly normal thing to do to an elderly woman whose house you’re staying in…….

Sure, she could’ve just deescalated it by walking away, but instead she chose to pursue

And get right back up in Grandma Ginger’s grill

But Grandma Ginger was NOT fucking around….

And if she really is starving Grandpa to death, she’s doing a pretty piss poor job of it…

She’s just gotta get Grandpa a belt for those slacks. That’s the real crime here.

As it turns out Jimmy bags has an assortment of Google trophies….

Oh good, not only has he pointed a shotgun at his own mother’s head, he’s also been convicted of assaulting someone with a chainsaw. Perfectly normal crimes to be charged with. But it’s cool because people are “seeing me do good for once.” This is what seeing me do good looks like. Living in your grandparent’s garage with your skagbag girlfriend who picks fights with your grandmother.

Speaking of the slam chowder, her name is Andrea Dunlea, and she’s in no short supply of Google trophies herself. Like that time she got a ride from a stranger and then robbed her at knifepoint instead of saying thank you:

Not to be confused with that time she was charged with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon, larceny, and a bunch of other stuff….

Yup, she’s got that “disease” that’s been going around. As if the bathroom selfies, dog filters, and face sucking sessions with her latest nut wallop didn’t give that away.

Oh, and she’s reproduced…

Which is great, because obviously she’s a responsible mother whose primary concern is getting back custody of her kid so that he can move into her boyfriend’s grandmother’s house and watch her fight to death. It’s OK though, because she might not have time to raise her kids, but she has plenty of time to raise baby squirrels:

Oh yea, squirrels love to live in houses that some slambox threw together. Nothing weird at all about a grown woman breeding squirrels as pets. Nothing at all.

She’s evidently so devoted to animals that she started this GoFundMe to rent a space for animals that have nowhere to go….

Because people like her are in a position to rent out storage spaces in order to let squirrels and other wildlife live an enclosed harmony where they’ll be neglected and die a slow and painful death.

But that’s all behind her. She’s “clean” now, which she stated several times when she came to defend herself on TUIFR:

And the comments were not going in her favor….

Naturally, in order to show everyone just how changed she was she came on and defended herself in an eloquent and respectful manner.

Just kidding, this is a Facebook page called Threw Up In Fall River. She handled it exactly like you’d expect a GED wielding crotch nugget would…..

She even began privately messaging people who were calling her out on her bullshit, challenging them to a DMC Durfee duel….

Of course her weapon of ass destruction wasn’t gonna miss out on the fun either…

But according to the Somerset slambox, Grandma (who’s all hopped up on addy’s) was at fault because she randomly started attacking them while they were trying to feed starving Grandpa:

And she’s been leaving really mean voicemails

And she’s wicked mean to her boyfriend….

Just a reminder, her boyfriend was once sentenced to four years in prison for putting a shotgun to his own mother’s head. But yea, I’m sure Grandma is the problem here.

All she wants to do is help though!!

Because posting a video of yourself acting like a bag of assholes on Threw Up In Fall River is a great way to help your allegedly starving grandfather.

Someone pointed out that the police should be notified for elder abuse, but as it turns out the Somerset slambox had already called the cops on Grandma…..

Oh snap, she’s being charged!! Sounds serious. VERY serious!!

So we reached out to her to get her side of the story, and even invited her on Turtleboy Live.

Turns out Grandma’s killing him so she can get plastic surgery. Oh yea, this is motive that makes TONS of sense.

The bottom line is, gutterslugs like this are supposed to stay on the other side of the Taunton River. Somerset’s a nice town, but unfortunately Fall River rats can swim. Or at least they know how to Uber now. So at this point nowhere is safe until they finally open up ratchet island in the Quabbin Reservoir like Uncle Turtleboy’s been asking for for the last year and a half.

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