Well despite having a stomach problem for the past eight weeks I continue to write this column and even Doctor Hirsch tells me he reads it, so I had better keep it going.

From the 1930s to the 1970s it seemed almost a required qualification that knighted famous actors of the stage should bat for the other team.

Apparently Laurence Olivier used to get up close and personal with a series of other actors including Danny Kaye, John Gielgud did a George Michael in the 1950s in a public toilet and was arrested and our own star of The Dam Busters Michael Redgrave enjoyed the pleasure that shall not speak its name as said by Oscar Wilde.

A new biography reveals that Obi Wan Kenobi, in the shape of Alec Guinness was also a member of their team. I am never sure why it is necessary to reveal these matters in books nowadays but I am informed that it sells well. No doubt I could write a best seller on the scandals that have happened in the various Borehamwood studios but the head of MGM publicity once told me that I am expected to take such secrets to the grave.

Alec is nowadays best remembered by modern cinemagoers for his role in the Star Wars trilogy, despite a catalogue of marvellous stage, television and film roles. For instance I like to recall his performances in the Ealing comedies and Bridge On The River Kwai.

Alec grew to hate his association with the blockbusting trilogy and used to throw away any related fan mail unanswered.

He signed for the role when he was offered $150,000 plus two per cent of the producer's profit, which was to make him a millionaire. Alec was cutting about his fellow stars, describing Dave 'Darth Vader' Prowse as "Somebody I suspect of not being an actor," and Kenny Baker as: "A dwarf who washes in a bidet."

Harrison Ford he considered "A rangy languid young man who is probably amusing and intelligent but treats me as if I was 106."

While filming Star Wars at Elstree, Alec described the experience as "tedious to a degree, hot, boring and indecisive, the dialogue is lamentable and I regret having embarked on the film."

In September 1979 he returned to Elstree for half a day's work on The Empire Strikes Back and again for a couple of days on Return Of The Jedi which he described as "A rotten dull little bit. I cannot bring myself to learn the wretched lines. The horrible Star Wars III."

By contrast he had to admit that the huge financial return allowed him to pick and choose other parts later in life whereas the other knights were not so lucky.

Michael Redgrave's career ground to a halt when he contracted Parkinsons Disease and Ralph Richardson, who preferred drink to men, was reduced to making his last film appearances in the Elstree-made Greystoke and Give My Regards To Broadway just to ensure he left some money for his wife.

Laurence Olivier earned the title of the world's greatest actor but film producers considered him box office poison unable to 'carry a film' so at the end of his career he played sometimes embarrassing cameos, often utilising the same daft Eastern European accents.

Alec was in private life a rather sad character and when he died left instructions for no memorial service. However he did leave us a marvellous gallery of screen characters and has certainly gained screen immortality.

On a lighter note young cocky Cole sent me a computer babe-magnet test and I scored 89% compared with his 67% and I am at least 15 years older!

It just shows that us older, suave, experienced, mature men can teach these kids something about how to woo the fairer sex.

Just as long as the pills don't wear off.

That reminds me about a repeat prescription Doctor Hirsch.