Harry Rosehill

DISASTER! The Cable Car Closes - These Really Are End Times

End times are truly upon us. The last bastion of the transport network has fallen. The city grinds to a standstill. The Emirates Air Line is closing from Saturday 21 March, due to the coronavirus pandemic.

Transport for London has announced the news we were all dreading. Did we expect, it? Honestly, yes. But not so soon. Surely some less essential services, like the trams or the Overground could go first? Heck, we even hoped the cable car would outlive the buses and the tube. Because who cares about travelling the length and breadth of London, when all we really want to do is shuttle between the Royal Docks and North Greenwich.

Boris Johnson, at the opening of The Emirates Airline in June 2012

Look, we know the pods can be a little cramped up there, and therefore might not be in the spirit of social distancing. But that's only because so many people RELY on this essential journey.

As our glorious leader™ rallies the country in an effort to turn the tide against coronavirus in just 12 weeks, the folks at TfL have denied us the greatest weapon in London's arsenal. The one that the former mayor himself gifted to us ("we are not worthy, we are not worthy"). This is letting coronavirus win.

This article is not entirely serious, but yes the cable car is actually closing from Saturday 21 March.

Keep up to date on all the latest (less jovial) London coronavirus news here.