Ah, disgusting habits, almost all of us have them, yet nobody wants to talk about them. These are things that most people do, but few will admit. We’re here to tell you that it really isn’t that bad, and there are reasons why you are compelled to do these things. We’ll even teach you what to say when you get caught, but first we’re going to wash our hands, we feel a bit dirty.

1. Nose picking

Look at that.

Just look at it. It’s disgusting, isn’t it? And that’s just a raisin.

Now we understand that it itches, and it looks unpleasant, so you have to dig it out; but why use your fingers? Do you also sift through your crap with your hands when you’re done taking a dump?

Exactly.

Nose picking is unhygienic and uncivilized, can lead to infections, and sometimes, even death. Plus, ew.

It really isn’t that bad…

Studies have shown that nose picking is universal, and that the vast majority of us often study—and sometimes eat—the boogies afterwards.The average person picks their nose four times a day, with about 1 in 500 people spend half an hour a day picking their nose (but those guys are sick).

But why?

Nose picking actually has health benefits. The boogers are obviously supposed to come out, and a finger is a lot more flexible than anything else.

Dangers are also greatly exaggerated; the nerves in your nose are far too high up for you to reach, so the worst you could normally do is get a nose bleed.

Eating your boogers can boost your immune system. The nose is just a filter in which bacteria is collected. Eating the bacteria is just like medicine.

And guess what? Nose picking (and eating) is evolutionary! That’s right. Monkeys have been caught picking their nose.

In fact, real scientists (see: Wikipedia) say that the trait first developed 20 million years ago, right after the hominoids (that’s us) diverged from Old World monkeys. In other words, nose picking is what set us apart.

…and there’s more!

Why though? Many reasons. First, boogies are nutritious and food was scarce. Starving, our ancestors began eating their snot.

So why aren’t we still eating our boogies today?

It’s because the more they picked their noses, the larger their nostrils grew, and as a result, their smell senses were heightened. Soon, they would use their sense of smell to become capable hunters.

Back then, our nostril capacity was about 5 cubic centimeters. Now, it’s nearly doubled to 9.2. As the monkeys evolved, the nostrils grew bigger. So keep picking your nose. The future depends on it.



What to say if caught in the act:

I’m only doing it because like, nose size and monkeys are like, correlation. Like, what it means to human. And stuff.

2. Urinating in the shower

Honestly, it’s baffling. The toilet is barely a few feet away, and yet you choose to pee in the shower; knowing that the urine will most likely touch your feet.

Seriously. Next, you’ll be wearing diapers, to completely save yourself the arduous trip to and from the bathroom.

It really isn’t that bad…

Pretty much every dude does this, but what about the females? We all know males are slobs but females? That’s right. Even our attractive female friends pee in the shower.

If you think about it, urine is actually clean. We’re not suggesting you drink your pee (do it.), but unless you have an unusual diet, the pH of urine is neutral.

And besides, urine is able to kill fungus—in other words, peeing in the shower might save you from having athlete’s foot.

…and there’s more!

Truth is, it’s not your fault.

Being surrounded by water (even in a shower) causes immersion dieresis and homeostatis. In layman terms, the pressure of the water around you directly affects your blood pressure; which will elicit measures to bring it back to normal, like peeing.

The hot temperature of the water may also contribute: urination releases some of your body heat.

And besides, when you shower, there’s a very strong visual and auditory connection. The warm flow of water gushing out the nozzle; the constant “shhhhh” sound that surrounds you as the stream hits the porcelain tub…

And, of course, after you’ve peed in the shower enough times, and you’ve pretty much lost all human decency, your brain will begin to associate shower time with pee pee time, which also explains why you only feel the need as soon as the water begins to flow.

What to say if caught in the act:

PERVERT!

3. Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude is the German word for the joy we get at other people’s suffering. In English, the closest we have is morbid curiosity.

So it’s why we click on 2Girls1Cup, despite knowing how disgusting it is. It’s also why subconsciously, we slow our cars or turn our heads when we see a traffic accident or an ambulance.

And honestly, you should feel ashamed. Seeking out pain and suffering just to satisfy your twisted appetite.

It really isn’t that bad…

Honestly, most of us don’t do it because we enjoy other people’s pain.

Social comparison comes into play: when people around us are suffering, we look better. Given a choice, would you rather be standing next to Adonis, or Urkel?

…and there’s more!

The insular cortex part of our brain is particularly active during times to disgust. It is also the part responsible for addiction and strong feelings. Basically, it is the eff you part of your body.

So, you can quite easily get hooked to it—as seen by the millions of people who obsessively follow celebrity gossip and love it when someone famous crashes and burns.

Studies have also shown that looking at someone who is in pain activates the same neural mechanisms in pleasure.

So, humanity is pretty screwed.

What to say if caught in the act:

Hey! Come on, show some compassion. I just wanted to see if the passengers are okay.

Hey! Come on, I just wanted to see if the girls have enough fiber in their diet.

4. Wound licking

You probably don’t even notice, but whenever you cut or maybe injure your hand, you’ll instantly put it to your mouth and suck on it.

It’s disgusting and undignified.

You might also make it worse—wound licking on the thumb has resulted in amputation.

It really isn’t that bad…

Surprisingly, saliva contains several useful chemical compounds.

A simple protein called histatin are well-known for staving off infection, and a recent discovery in Amsterdam shows that it also helps close the wound (almost two times faster).

Saliva also acts as an analgesic, which reduces pain.

Basically, it’s everything you could ever want in your mouth.

…and wait there’s more!

The fact that you instantly lick a wound should tell you that it is instinctive, and therefore most likely evolutionary.

Wound licking originally started as a form of zoopharmacognosy, or animal self-meditation.

Despite all this, licking someone else’s wound (especially if it’s a scraped knee), like an Oregon teacher did, is probably a bad idea, and pretty gross.

What to say if caught in the act:

*suck*

5. Fart Smelling

Like Fat Bastard from Austin Powers said, “Everybody likes their own scent.”

This isn’t just limited to farts. Studies have shown that your own B.O., burps, and sometimes even poop smells appealing.

Nah, we’re just kidding. You’re the only person who thinks so, you sicko.