With transfer guru Sven Mislintat heading for the hills, Stan Kroenke slamming shut the war chest and £350,000-a-week man Mesut Özil marooned on his sofa, Arsenal fans have gone into meltdown mode. But wait! James Rodríguez could be about to jet in and calm the tensions.

Colombia’s 2012 World Cup hero is in the second season of a two-year loan spell at Bayern Munich but the Bundesliga champions are not too fussed about making the move permanent for £39.5m, and he would happily pack his bags for London if Arsenal can cover the remaining £3m of the £11.5m loan fee Bayern agreed with Real Madrid.

Arsenal's post-Wenger plans in tatters with Sven Mislintat set to leave club Read more

With so little cash swilling around the Emirates the club’s bean counters are said to have come up with the ingenious idea of flogging Özil to Internazionale or Juventus, and have told the Italian giants of their plan. The German has no interest in leaving but help may be at hand in the form of Mohamed Elneny, who is interesting Roma and would be delighted to escape the Gunners bench.

Ole Gunnar Solskjær has told anyone who will listen that he will not not give up the keys to the Manchester United manager’s office without a fight, and he is ready to bare his teeth in the transfer market. The Norwegian has told Marouane Fellaini to find a new club and has muscled his way to the front of the queue for Cengiz Under, with a £50m summer transfer in the pipeline. Yannick Carrasco is available right now, so desperate is he to return to Europe from China, and the former Atlético Madrid winger seems to have had his head turned by Solskjær’s barnstorming United revolution. Carrasco’s wife, Noémie Happart, was certainly happy to play ball when quizzed about whether United had joined the list of clubs chasing her husband’s signature. “Yes they are very interested,” teased Miss Belgium 2013. “I do not hide it but nothing is signed.”

Chelsea are close to landing Leandro Paredes after submitting a second offer worth around £35m to Zenit Saint Petersburg for the Argentinian midfielder.

Leicester are set to sign trialist Ali Reghba from Bohemians after the teenager scored twice in an under-23s game.

And unlikeliest transfer tale of the week has to be Cristhian Stuani’s proposed move to Barcelona. The Middlesbrough flop has been banging the goals in for Girona for the past two seasons and could be in line for a shock £15m transfer to the Camp Nou. Álvaro Morata is also under consideration but Barça will only sanction a loan move for the Chelsea forward if Denis Suárez’s transfer to Arsenal goes through. When did all the money dry up?