Dear people of the internet,

I have some rather unpleasant news and it’s time I share it with you. If we are friends brace yourself for a bit of a bummer. If we are enemies, ready the cake! The doctors call it “cancer”, Hodgkin lymphoma stage 2 to be specific. The point is it doesn’t matter what it’s called as my plans are to swiftly destroy it.

This “cancer” doesn’t stand much of a chance. I am young, otherwise healthy, and have a knack of making life altering diseases my bitch. Example: I’m mostly blind due to stargardt’s disease and couldn’t be having a better time not giving a shit.

I’m planning on documenting some of this cancer battle on twitter (@jimmiebernardin) and on this blog. I thought a preface letter explaining that I have cancer would be appropriate before I just start Live Tweeting chemotherapy, so this is that letter.

Thanks in advance for your support. People keep telling me if there’s anything I need don’t hesitate to ask. So here’s one, how about playing me back on Draw Something (iPhone game) so I don’t keep having to create games with weirdo strangers. Thanks, that’d be nice. I will also except hugs, high fives, and expensive gifts.

The ass whooping I’m about to serve cancer begins today with my first round of chemotherapy. The doctors have installed a subcutaneous port tube in my chest as seen in the diagram below.

Clearly my breasts aren’t that perfect, but you get the idea. It’s this little tube that sits under my skin, giving the chemo needle direct access to a main vain. I feel part man, part machine.

The port kind of sits right above the scar. Also as you can see in this picture above, they shaved my beautiful chest hair, which I’m considering the first casualty of war. Below is a tribute photo.

That’s really all the news for now. I hope you can learn something along with me as I ride over this bump in the road. I really believe you can live on the edge or die on the porch so that’s why I’ll still be out there doing my comedy thing. I’ve got a whole mess of improv shows coming up at the IO theater next month and into summer. Come by for a laugh. I’ll post dates on the website. And one more small note, I do have a great chance of beating this thing but if anyone wants to hook up a ride in a fighter jet or can get me an early screener of Dark Knight Rises, cancer boy would oblige.

Much love and good vibes to the universe

-Jimmie B.