Here we go again with yet another terrorist attack.

What is so stunning is not just the deaths, injuries and devastated families – terrible enough in themselves – but the emotional impact on the rest of us who view it from afar.

There is the fright that it could easily have been us caught up in it. There is fear, that next time it happens, it might be us being taken away in ambulances. There is anger, primarily at the perpetrators, but also directed at officialdom for not foreseeing it, even if we know that is an impossible expectation.

There is dismay that our values are being undermined and our lifestyles disrupted.

UK news in pictures Show all 50 1 /50 UK news in pictures UK news in pictures 15 September 2020 People enjoying the autumn sunshine as they punt along the River Cam in Cambridge PA UK news in pictures 14 September 2020 Early morning light bathes the skyscrapers of the City of London, at the start of a week in which the UK is expected to bask in temperatures of more than 30 degrees PA UK news in pictures 13 September 2020 England celebrate after they dismissed Australia's Alex Carey to win the second ODI match of the series at Emirates Old Trafford, Manchester PA UK news in pictures 12 September 2020 Protesters outside BBC Broadcasting House in central London, as marches and rallies form across the country calling for a 15% pay rise for NHS workers and an increase in NHS funding PA UK news in pictures 11 September 2020 An empty migrant dinghy floats off the beach at St Margaret's Bay after the occupants landed from France in Dover Getty UK news in pictures 10 September 2020 A view of small boats thought to be used in migrant crossings across the Channel at a storage facility in Dover, Kent PA UK news in pictures 9 September 2020 EU's chief negotiator Michel Barnier, left, arriving from the Eurostar with EU Ambassador to the UK, Portuguese diplomat Joao Vale de Almeida at St Pancras International railway station, London, for the latest round of the negotiations on a free trade deal between the EU and the UK PA UK news in pictures 8 September 2020 Dawn over Coquet Island, a small island off Amble on the Northumberland coast PA UK news in pictures 7 September 2020 A hovercraft arrives to Southsea, Hampshire from the Isle of Wight PA UK news in pictures 6 September 2020 Forensics officers near the scene of multiple reported stabbings in Birmingham Reuters UK news in pictures 5 September 2020 Anti-migrant protesters demonstrate in Dover against immigration and the journeys made by refugees crossing the Channel to Kent PA UK news in pictures 4 September 2020 Activists take part in a demonstration against the HS2 hi-speed rail line outside the Department of Transport AFP via Getty UK news in pictures 3 September 2020 Peter Baker, who plays Trigger in the musical version of Only Fools and Horses, sweeps the stage of the Theatre Royal Haymarket in London, after observing a 15 minute silence to show solidarity with those in the theatre industry that have lost their jobs due to the coronavirus pandemic PA UK news in pictures 2 September 2020 Kadie Lane, right, 11, and Brooke Howourth, 11, hug on their walk to Marden Bridge Middle School in Whitley Bay, Tyne and Wear, for their first day of term, as schools in England reopen to pupils following the coronavirus lockdown PA UK news in pictures 1 September 2020 Extinction Rebellion protesters sitting outside The Houses of Parliament in Westminster, London PA UK news in pictures 31 August Surfers at Long Sands Beach, Tynemouth PA UK news in pictures 30 August Black Lives Matter protesters march through Notting Hill in London in the first Million People March EPA UK news in pictures 29 August A protester reacts as she demonstrates against the lockdown and use of face masks, amid the coronavirus disease outbreak, outside Downing Street in London Reuters UK news in pictures 28 August Caribbean soca dancers display their costumes as they promote the first ever digital Notting Hill Carnival, following the cancellation of the normal Carnival festivities due to the continued spread of the coronavirus disease, in London Reuters UK news in pictures 27 August Father and son team Chris and Sam Milford from historic building conservation specialists WallWalkers begin restoration work on the spire of Norwich Cathedral, which stands at over 312ft high. The first known spire was completed in 1297 PA UK news in pictures 26 August Giant waves at Seaham in County Durham, as the bad weather continues PA UK news in pictures 25 August An assistant at the Wallace Monument cleans the case which houses the William Wallace sword in the Hall of Arms room at the monument near Stirling as they prepare to re-open PA UK news in pictures 24 August Restored World War Two landing craft LCT 7074 is transported from from the Naval Base in Portsmouth to its final resting place at the D-Day Story at Southsea PA UK news in pictures 23 August Jenny Nguyen and Tony Cao, from Vietnam, pose for wedding photos on Tower Bridge in London, as it remains closed to vehicles after it was stuck open on Saturday due to a "mechanical fault". The landmark's Twitter account confirmed only pedestrians and cyclists could use it on Sunday morning PA UK news in pictures 22 August England's Zak Crawley hit 267, joining the exclusive Double Hundred club, on day two of the Third Test match against Pakistan at the Ageas Bowl, Southampton PA UK news in pictures 21 August Harri Teale gathers lavender during the annual harvest on the Wolds Way Lavender farm near Malton in North Yorkshire PA UK news in pictures 20 August Parents and a student react after checking GCSE results at Ark Academy in London Reuters UK news in pictures 19 August Tate Modern workers hold a strike outside the gallery in London, to protest the institution's announcement that it would cut more than 300 jobs from its commercial arm, Tate Enterprises PA UK news in pictures 18 August Two rescued brown bear cubs, Mish (left) and Lucy, cool off in a pool after arriving at their new home with the wildlife conservation charity Wildwood Trust in Herne Bay, Kent. The orphaned pair, who have been living in a temporary home in Belgium since they were found abandoned and alone in a snowdrift in the Albanian mountains, will be acclimatised to their new life in the country before moving to a permanent home PA UK news in pictures 17 August A level students celebrate outside the Department for Education in London after it was confirmed that candidates in England will be given grades estimated by their teachers, rather than by an algorithm. The government U-turn comes just days after Education Secretary Gavin Williamson vowed there would be "no U-turn, no change. PA UK news in pictures 16 August Wasp players take a knee as Northampton Saints stand prior to kick-off in their Premiership match at Franklin's Gardens PA UK news in pictures 15 August Piper Colour Sergeant Lil Bahadur Gurung attends the VJ Day National Remembrance event, held at the National Memorial Arboretum in Staffordshire, Britain Reuters UK news in pictures 14 August People including students hold placards on Whitehall outside Downing Street as they protest against the downgrading of A-level results. The government faced criticism after education officials downgraded more than a third of pupils' final grades in a system devised after the coronavirus pandemic led to cancelled exams yes AFP via Getty UK news in pictures 13 August Benita Stipp (centre) and Mimi Ferguson (left) react as students at Norwich School receive their A-Level results PA UK news in pictures 12 August 2020 A train derailment near Stonehaven has left three people dead. Driver Brett McCullough, conductor Donald Dinnie, and a passenger were killed when the 6.38am Aberdeen to Glasgow Queen Street service crashed amid heavy rain and flooding BBC UK news in pictures 11 August 2020 A woman hydrates in the sun after open water swimming at the West Reservoir Centre in north London Tolga Akmen/AFP via Getty UK news in pictures 10 August 2020 Prime Minister Boris Johnson takes part in an archery session as he visits Premier Education Summer Camp at Sacred Heart of Mary Girls' in Upminster Reuters UK news in pictures 9 August 2020 People cycle through Cambridge as the heatwave continues in Britain EPA UK news in pictures 8 August 2020 Healthcare workers take part in a protest in London over pay conditions in the NHS Getty UK news in pictures 7 August 2020 Emergency services make their way along the seafront on Bournemouth beach in Dorset on one of the hottest days of the year PA UK news in pictures 6 August 2020 Alison Murphy poses for a picture by husband Peter as she walks through a field of sunflowers in Altrincham, Cheshire PA UK news in pictures 5 August 2020 Pakistan's Abid Ali being bowled by England's Jofra Archer during day one of the First Test match at the Emirates Old Trafford, Manchester PA UK news in pictures 4 August 2020 The 'Timbuktu tumblers' from Kenya perform their balancing act on the Southsea waterfront as Zippos Circus reopens in Portsmouth Rex UK news in pictures 3 August 2020 Pelicans interact with a visitor in St James's Park in London PA UK news in pictures 2 August 2020 Lewis Hamilton drives with a puncture towards the finish line to win the Formula One British Grand Prix at Silverstone POOL/AFP via Getty UK news in pictures 1 August 2020 Arsenal's Pierre-Emerick Aubameyang celebrates with the trophy and teammates after winning the FA Cup, as play resumes behind closed doors following the outbreak of the coronavirus disease Pool via Reuters UK news in pictures 31 July 2020 People enjoy the sunny weather at a Bournemouth Beach Reuters UK news in pictures 30 July 2020 An artist puts the finishing touches to a wax figure of Prime Minister Boris Johnson, in the entrance line at Madame Tussaud's in London, as the attraction prepares to reopen to the public following the easing of lockdown restrictions in England PA UK news in pictures 29 July 2020 A member of staff stands on Ai Weiwei's 'History of Bombs' during a photocall for the Chinese artist's new work on display at the Imperial War Museum in London PA UK news in pictures 28 July 2020 Stuart Broad celebrates after taking the wicket of West Indies batsman Kraigg Brathwaite. It was a milestone wicket in his career, reaching his 500th Test Wicket for England. They went on to beat the West Indies in Manchester and therefore win the series 2-1 Getty/ECB

Once upon a time, there was also disbelief. When 9/11 happened many could not believe it was real and thought they were watching a disaster movie or spoof news programme. Now we have lost that innocence. Every atrocity since 2001 is all too credible.

There is also a curious disconnect in our relationship with the victims. We see people jumping out of skyscrapers or being shot in French restaurants or lying in blood in the streets of London, but we are not there. As they approach death, we are in our front living room watching television, perhaps holding a cup of tea or munching a biscuit. That in itself feels indecent.

We share their moment of death, but know nothing else about them. We are absent witnesses and become anonymous mourners. Perhaps we are also resentful that we have been forced to be party to their demise when a few seconds ago we didn’t even know they existed.

We also receive a jolt about our own personal lives. We wake up to the fact that we cannot take tomorrow for granted. Logically, we had always been aware of that but had put it aside in our daily rush, whereas now we think about it when we see an abandoned bag or walk through a crowded area.

We also become aware of our hypocrisy. We gasp at the people who died, but we manage to ignore the deaths of thousands elsewhere in the world: those who wake up each day wondering how they are going to find food, or who face deadly diseases, or who are caught up in civil wars raging around them.

Portuguese man describes horror of Westminster car attack

The sad reality is that a temporary shock nearby will always make more impact than constant suffering further away. We feel even more guilty, disgusted not just with the terrorists but also with ourselves.

Our response needs to be both on an emotional and practical level. The way to overcome our feelings of fear and anger is to remind ourselves that we are not the beleaguered minority but the vast majority. One man chose to kill, but hundreds chose to save and comfort and help medically.

The way to overcome this is by attempting to stabilise society – by making it stronger. If we have never got to know properly someone in our street or at work who is of a different faith or colour, now is the time to bridge that gap and invite them round for tea or out for a drink. The ripple effect of thousands of small acts can have a massive impact in changing perceptions and forging bonds.

We cannot ignore terrorism, but we can render it impotent.