A Perfect Storm

It should come as little surprise that mental-health conditions like anxiety and depression rear their ugly heads as young people embark on adulthood.

“In all societies . . . this is when various mental-health concerns start to be made manifest—in late adolescence to early adulthood,” says Steven A. Smith (BS ’81, MEd ’83), director of BYU’s Counseling and Career Center. While neurological and genetic influences play a role, just about all kids face increased demands and responsibilities as they grow up, and that can contribute to feelings of distress.

David W. Bush (BS ’77, MA ’78), a BYU alum who directs Utah State University’s Counseling and Psychological Services, notes that experiencing some anxiety and depression may be a normal sign of neurological development in young people: “There are some profound changes happening neurologically in the transition from childhood to young adulthood.”

Throw in decreased structure, rising expectations, and a penchant for perfectionism, and this phase of life can be the perfect storm.

Going Indie

“Emerging adulthood is unlike any other time in [our] lifespan,” says Larry J. Nelson (BS ’94, MS ’96), BYU professor of family life. “Think about all the structure in place for young children. . . . And then later in life, when we have responsibilities to spouses and employers, there is once again structure in our lives. But during emerging adulthood, there is no structure, there is no expectation or accountability for how we spend our time.”

Decreased structure coupled with increasing demands and responsibilities is a formula for vulnerability, especially for a student with an underlying mental-health challenge. “The jump to college can be difficult for anyone, but for a teen without balanced brain chemistry, it can be overwhelming,” says Elaine, whose daughter came to BYU with a diagnosis of bipolar disorder, which is related to depression and anxiety. “The everyday tasks of paying rent, getting food, doing laundry, dealing with roommates, attending classes, and meeting new people were just too much. She felt so incapable of handling it all that she was unable to handle any of it.”

And just as a young person’s responsibilities and decisions multiply, they also deepen in significance, with long-term implications for the future.

This transition can be especially daunting for Latter-day Saint young adults. In a culture that highly values education, missionary service, and family formation, the flood of new responsibilities and expectations can hit quickly. For instance, notes GeriLynn Price Vorkink (BS ’82, PhD ’10), director of BYU’s University Accessibility Center, with an emphasis on marriage in LDS culture, “students may view relationship issues as more dire, and these perceptions can be a factor in depression and anxiety.”

Perilous Perfectionism

Perfectionism is a term that surfaces again and again when talking about anxiety and depression with BYU experts. And that is little wonder at BYU, where the average incoming freshman excelled in high school sports and the performing arts, had a 3.85 GPA, and scored 29.2 on the ACT (in 2016, 54 applicants earned a perfect 36).

After gliding from achievement to achievement through adolescence, always near the top of their class, new BYU students often face a stark new reality when they step onto campus: they are suddenly right in the middle of the pack. And, in a much more challenging college environment, the common experience of a first bombed midterm or final-paper flop can be especially distressing.

Smith remembers a student who came to him in tears after grades were posted for a course he taught: “Finally she told me between sobs, ‘You gave me an A−.’”

“We may be the only school that lives by the scripture ‘Be ye therefore perfect’ (Matt. 5:48),” says Smith. “We want to follow that, but our students have this notion of perfection now, and parents inadvertently push that. It is in students’ best interest to let go of this self-defeating perfectionism and recognize that obtaining perfection is a lifelong process.”

Confronting personal limits can be particularly distressing for students who have come to believe that, with enough effort, they should be able to solve any problem—academic, social, or spiritual.

In a recent survey of 574 BYU students, ancient scripture professor and psychologist Daniel K Judd (MS ’85, PhD ’87) and his colleagues found a strong correlation between those who felt that their salvation was primarily dependent on their own efforts and those who experience anxiety, depression, and other mental-health problems. In contrast, Judd notes, “those who understood and embraced the principle of grace had dramatically lower scores.”

If You’re Unhappy and You Know It

Scrolling through the typical Instagram feed, it’s easy to imagine that the poster’s life is constantly hip, happening, and happy. Such superficial observations of their peers’ lives online and in person can give young people the impression that uninterrupted happiness is the norm.

“Students may have the unrealistic expectation that they should be happy all the time,” says Vorkink. “If they’re not, they feel like something is wrong with them. There may be this cultural need to present to others as if they are ‘okay,’ yet they don’t feel okay.”

On his mission and at BYU, Jordan became a master at appearing okay. “I went into my mission imagining myself being a great missionary. I would follow all the rules, I would be perfect, people would love me, and they would be converted to the gospel,” recalls Jordan. “That just wasn’t the reality.” The discrepancy, he says, resulted in a struggle with depression throughout his service.

Upon returning to BYU, Jordan’s emotional state spiraled downward, but he didn’t tell anyone what he was feeling. “I was very good at masking it,” he says. “People thought I was the happiest, nicest guy, but internally I tortured myself.”

He turned to pornography as a coping strategy, and he feared telling his parents how much he was suffering because he thought they would be ashamed of him. Jordan also confused the feelings he recognizes now as anxiety and depression as messages from God. “I interpreted those feelings as God’s disapproval of me: He didn’t want me to feel good about myself because He wasn’t happy with me,” he says.

It was during a drive with music blasting—something Jordan often did to cope—that he finally recognized he needed help. It was a turning point.

Jordan found a therapist through campus resources, and his physician prescribed medication. “To talk to a therapist who could explain the science behind what I was experiencing was so refreshing,” Jordan recalls. “[It] was the most weight-lifting, revelatory experience I had.”