“[Imitating Trump] Washington — not everybody knows this — Washington put his picture on every dollar. Can you imagine the royalties? He got a taste of that. Daddy got his beak wet on every dollar. Not much, but it adds up.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“What business was Washington supposedly running on the side, anyway? [As Trump] Many people don’t know this, but George Washington had a business where he gave private boat tours of the Delaware River.” — SETH MEYERS

“[As Trump] Hey, if I’m going to get impeached anyway, I say it’s bucket-list time. G-7 is at Doral, we’re serving nothing but Trump steaks, it’s B.Y.O. porn star, and folks, don’t forget your pistols, ’cause we’re heading out to Fifth Avenue.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Apparently, he just found out G-7 doesn’t mean you get to play seven rounds of golf.” — SETH MEYERS