A quick search for gay porn will reveal our bizarre obsession with straight men — “straight dude fucks his teammate,” “straight bro first time anal,” and so on. Where does this come from? Internalized homophobia, perceptions of masculinity, or our childhood fantasies of fucking the quarterback? Probably some compendium of all three.

Hetero-worship is real and makes gay men appear at times predatory and self-flagellating, but sometimes we’re on to something. Sometimes your “straight bro first time anal” dream meets reality when your straight friend is gay-curious. Gay and bi men are sensitive to our brothers in the closet because most of us were there at one point. We remember the fear of getting caught, the curiosity and confusion, the threat of exposure, the furtive glances.

Give curious straight guys some love. Here are 17 signs your straight friend is gay-curious.