We’ve come to know Tony Spell as the pastor of Louisiana’s Life Tabernacle Church, where he insists on bringing throngs of people together every weekend, physical-distancing directives be damned.

With any luck, it’ll be convict Spell soon. Prisoner Spell. Because yesterday, authorities finally threw the book at him.

On Tuesday, March 31, Chief Roger Corcoran with Central Police Department issued [Spell] a misdemeanor summons for six counts of violating the governor’s executive order… following [the pastor’s] decision to host multiple large gatherings.

“Over the last two weeks I have worked with the sheriff, state police, the state fire marshal, Reverend Tony Perkins, and others to address this matter outside of legal action. Mr. Spell made his intentions to continue to violate the law clear,” [Corcoran] said in a statement. “Instead of showing the strength and resilience of our community during this difficult time, Mr. Spell has chosen to embarrass us for his own self-promotion. [He] will have his day in court where he will be held responsible for his reckless and irresponsible decisions that endangered the health of his congregation and our community.”

The chief added that no one ought to frame this as a religious-liberty issue, emphasizing that the decision to charge Spell was taken for the benefit of public health.

Unsurprisingly, Spell, a superspreader by proxy, sees it differently. In his mind, the charges amount to Christian persecution. He told a local TV reporter,

“This is an affront, and an attack on all Christians across the world… If this is not about religion, then why are the Waltons not being issued summons and arrested for keeping Walmart open?“

Maybe because Walmart sells groceries, medicine, fuel, and tons of other goods that everyone needs? A-ha, cackles Spell: but churches like his are essential, too! What could be more essential than God?

“Nobody will tell us that we are non-essential in our society. … If you close every door in the city, we’ll close this [church] door; but we’ll go underground, and we’re going to assemble and congregate as God-fearing Christians.”

Interestingly, “underground” — roughly six feet — is exactly where some unlucky Louisianians will end up if Spell doesn’t quit play-acting the victim, and soon. The state is right to try and shut his risky operation down.

He’ll probably look quite natty in an orange jumpsuit.

(Screenshot via WAFB9)

