Content warning: While there is a references to statutory rape, no actual sexual activity occurred between me and the older woman who put moves on me. This will make sense in context. In theory, this should still be safe for you to read even if that issue is a trigger for you, but as you know you better than I ever could, I’m warning you now so you can make your own decision.

Ideas for rants come from the strangest places. I’ve mentioned before how utterly bizarre it is that of the few women who have ever initiated contact with me for the purpose of starting a romantic/sexual relationship, they all, to varying degrees have been anti-feminist (denying the existence of rape culture, saying that 16 year olds who partake in protest rallies ”deserve” to get rape threats on Facebook, using the term feminazi unironically*, etc.). What I didn’t realize until recently was just how long this has been going on.

Not too long ago I was watching the latest Codename: Nycea video (as of this writing) and it got me thinking about this really old chat room network that I was on back in the 90s called WBS. I went by Grand Admiral Webber on the internet back then. I mostly spent my time in political chat rooms, or in Mad About You chatrooms**. I hadn’t thought about those chat rooms much in years, but Magdalen’s video about her awkward teenage years got me thinking about mine, much of which were spent on WBS during the times of day when I was allowed on-line.

This is where the threads connect. I can’t believe I had forgotten about this, but back then, it happened too. The anti-feminist women trying to jump my bones I mean. This instance was extra creepy though. This woman, her username was Conservababe, knowing full well that I found pretty much everything she stood for repugnant (she was anti-choice, believed that Vince Foster was murdered, thought that President Clinton was somehow Un-American because he had a cat instead of a dog***…), openly tried to seduce me. Despite knowing full well the age difference; she was in her mid to late 30s, I was 15/16 years old.

Yikes.

Now, thankfully this aspect of the “I’m not a feminist, I’m one of the cool girls” types coming on to me trend has not repeated itself. The other times, only one of them was older than me, and only by 2 or 3 years, tops. But the question I’ve asked before remains. Why?!

I have never hidden my pro-feminist leanings****, like, ever. Not even on my now defunct OKCupid profile. I am pro-choice, acknowledge that rape culture exists, know full well that guys are just as if not more capable of creating needless drama, etc. Yet somehow, these anti-feminists not only find me, they find me attractive enough to “ignore” that aspect of me, or worse yet in at least one case make explicit that they think they can change my mind by, and I’m not kidding here, fucking me. Yes, they think that their vagina can make me believe that the wage gap isn’t real, or that some rape victims were “asking for it.” [bold type]Gross, right?[/bold]

Next up is the TMI portion of the evening, so feel free to bow out now. I’ll put a funny picture or GIF to provide a cushion to protect you from the naughty bits.

Look, I’ll be honest here; I am very sexually frustrated. It bugs me that I have not any sexual encounters that didn’t involve my hand in my entire life*****. I’m 34 years old, yet my sex drive has not slowed down much since puberty, contrary to what I was told would happen as I got older. I get hardcore crushes (which consistently lead to heartbreak, either when they turn out to already be married, or worse, turns out to be an anti-vaxxer******). But as badly as I wanna do this thing (punch the V card, get my dick wet, get my rocks off… whatever phrase you kids use these days), there are just certain things that I am not willing to compromise on to get it. No orgasm could ever be worth debasing myself to sleep with someone who denies that rape culture is real, or thinks Hillary Clinton killed Vince Foster, or who thinks “some rape victims were asking for it,” or who uses the term feminazi unironically, or who thinks that Obscurus Lupa got Spoony fired from TGWTG! Okay, that last one has nothing to do with my socio-political values but I stand by it!

So, with all this in mind, again I ask the question; Why? Why is that anti-feminist women seem so into me? If they really think that feminism just means “hating all men,” why would they even want to talk to me at all, let alone ride me? I just don’t understand. At least the good news is, since I stopped going on dating sites, I run into this problem FAR less frequently, but the fact that it has happened to me at all, and has been a presence in my embarrassing dating life for half as long as I’ve existed on this planet…

Anyway, yeah, there’s my long winded rant for the day. In closing, I wanna ask any feminist-friendly cishet dudes like myself who may find this; has this ever happened to you?

* And that’s just the same person!

** I loved that show back when it was on. Not sure how I’d feel about it if I tried to watch it now. Probably best if I don’t.

*** A lot of the Right Wingers at WBS felt that way.

**** TERFs, SWERFs, and White Feminists(™) excluded

***** And yet somehow the sex scenes in my novel were so well received that at least one reader said they wish I’d written more of them. Still not sure how that happened.

****** Half-kidding. I have however removed certain celebrity women from the “spank bank” for being anti-vaxxers. This is somehow both a bold moral stance, and friggin’ creepy to admit in public at the same time. An amazing feat, really.