Today was the greatest day. I came home and found an alien bedecked package on my porch far too large for just a mere coffee mug. The front had a very well sketched Alien saying "I Awesomesauce You"

I opened the box and had a minor stroke- I realized my "mug" was in fact a Ron Swanson themed cornucopia of delicious hot beverages, preserved meat, and mushrooms!

Here is the breakdown of what I recieved:

Ron Swanson's Pyramid of Greatness Mug! 7 varieties of delicious coffee And Pumpkin Spiced! A cartoon Amanita Muscaria candy container! Insulated tea cup with screw on cap! The Manliest of outdoor Meats- A tin of Portugese Sardines! Thai Iced Tea!

Now I do not know who gifted me this- but just opening this package made my beard grow a quarter of an inch- and I had to go throw on a flannel shirt just to write this.

Gifter- you win. in all ways. Please marry me- this gift is so wonderful that I offer my undying devotion to you, mystery human. I dont know how much illegal activity you had to do to find this many things out about me but I don't care.