Guest History Lecture Struck This Morning, Leaving 176 Asleep, 43 Tired, and 12 Dead

A guest lecture on the Egyptian political system in early 1900’s struck this morning in an international affairs elective course, leaving many asleep or tired and as many as twelve dead. The unannounced guest speaker was so excruciatingly boring, over one hundred and fifty students of the three hundred student class fell asleep, while almost fifty admitted they had grown tired, and twelve died of sheer boredom. Among the casualties was fifth year George Reyes, known for his great contributions to the Reck Club, his fraternity, and the Student Government Association.

Students were seen talking amongst themselves or checking up on Facebook or email when the guest speaker arrived; the mere sight of his grey sweater, khaki pants, and tan jacket as he entered the room nearly put two students to sleep instantly. Focusing most of his talk on the layout of the Egyptian government at the time while contrasting it with the current state of the American government, the lecturer lost nearly 90% of the class’ attention less than five minutes into his spiel. While an impressive feat, the school’s two English courses routinely clock the same stats in half the time.

Several students remain in critical but stable condition and while they are likely to make a full recovery, our field reporters doubt they will ever give a shit about the lecture or whatever the fuck it was about anyway.