Assuming all responsibility is as bad as assuming no responsibility at all. I read today a thread on reddit.com in which a young man was asking the community if he had anything to do with his parents death. Apparently, after a fight, he performed the following ritual – he wrote his parents name down on a piece of paper and then burned it in frustration.

Now, this is just a grieving young man who feels quilt. But some of the replies to the thread were truly dreadful, prompting this grieving kid into believing that he had something to do with the tragic deaths of his parents.

I can give you an insane number of examples of this sort. The pleasure and attraction of blaming comes exclusively out of the fear of those things that are out of our control. And frankly, most of the things are. A vague and perverse attempt at control.

Over-blaming ourselves is a consequence of being blamed when we weren’t supposed to be, when things were out of our control, or when others found it easier to blame something on us, then themselves.

Over-blaming is a cancer to our happiness and self development. Because firstly, it leaves us with the impression that we are terrible people, and secondly, because it constructs this idea that everything is in our control and thus, if somethings go wrong, the fault is ours and ours only. This is simply not true.

Yes, people think bad things about other people, some actively want to harm others. Some hex, some curse. Some bad stuff simply happens. But, please, please be more careful about the blames you cast upon others and upon yourselves.