(CNN) "Queer Eye" star and advocate Jonathan Van Ness bares his soul in a memoir due out Tuesday in which he writes about being sexually assaulted as a child, having sex with older men as a teen, battling drug addiction and being diagnosed with HIV.

In a revealing interview published in the New York Times Saturday, Van Ness talks about his book, "Over the Top: A Raw Journey to Self-Love" and the vulnerability -- even for him -- that comes with disclosing "certain things that I haven't shared publicly."

"I've had nightmares every night for the past three months because I'm scared to be this vulnerable with people," Van Ness, drowning in tears and coffee, told the paper.

CNN has left voice and email messages with Van Ness' publicist for comment.

The pain of a tumultuous life started early when an older boy from his church abused him -- the beginning of what Van Ness called the "compounded trauma" endured by sex assault survivors.

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