Senate Majority Leader and Satan’s turtle, Mitch McConnell, has already called the Democratic move to begin a formal impeachment inquiry “laughable to think this is anywhere close to an impeachable offense.” The rest of the Republican Senate decided to pretend they were too busy to read nine whole pages—namely the whistleblower complaint that alleges, at minimum, abuses of power by the sitting president of the United States. CNN provided a handy list of Republican senators displaying cowardice on Thursday.

Oklahoma Sen. James Lankford and North Dakota Sen. John Hoeven each said they were in appropriations mark-ups and hadn’t yet read the full complaint.

Indiana Sen. Mike Braun said he hadn’t read it either, adding that he didn’t know about the allegations to “lock down” information at the White House. Braun went on to say that he didn’t feel the complaint would change Republican’s views of impeachment, and said the Democrats had made a mistake starting an impeachment inquiry before knowing more about the complaint.

said he hadn’t read it either, adding that he didn’t know about the allegations to “lock down” information at the White House. Braun went on to say that he didn’t feel the complaint would change Republican’s views of impeachment, and said the Democrats had made a mistake starting an impeachment inquiry before knowing more about the complaint. Tennessee Sen. Lamar Alexander said he has not read the complaint. “I’m waiting for the intelligence committee to finish its work."

said he has not read the complaint. “I’m waiting for the intelligence committee to finish its work." Ohio Sen. Rob Portman said he said he’s been “running around” all day and hasn't read it and would not comment.

said he said he’s been “running around” all day and hasn't read it and would not comment. Arkansas Sen. Tom Cotton said “no comment” twice and boarded a senators-only elevator when asked if he was concerned the White House was locking down information.

said “no comment” twice and boarded a senators-only elevator when asked if he was concerned the White House was locking down information. Missouri Sen. Roy Blunt , a member of the Senate Intelligence Committee, said “I’ll have a better idea of how credible he is later this afternoon" when asked if he is concerned about the strong allegations from a credible whistleblower.

, a member of the Senate Intelligence Committee, said “I’ll have a better idea of how credible he is later this afternoon" when asked if he is concerned about the strong allegations from a credible whistleblower. Florida Sen. Marco Rubio told reporters he has read the whistleblower’s complaint, and says he has “more questions than answers.”

told reporters he has read the whistleblower’s complaint, and says he has “more questions than answers.” Idaho Sen. Jim Risch , the chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, said that there was “nothing there” when asked about the rough transcript of President Trump's call with the Ukrainian leader. On the whistleblower complaint, he said that he prefers to look at the primary document, meaning the rough transcript.

, the chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee, said that there was “nothing there” when asked about the rough transcript of President Trump's call with the Ukrainian leader. On the whistleblower complaint, he said that he prefers to look at the primary document, meaning the rough transcript. South Dakota Sen. Mike Rounds said “they are using second-hand information right now. Let’s let the committee investigate it."

said “they are using second-hand information right now. Let’s let the committee investigate it." Iowa Sen. Joni Ernst said she hasn't had time to read the whole complaint, saying, “I am going to have to dig into it."