The BNP blames traffic jams on immigrants – but the most telling policy is its stance on climate change

Care about the environment? Still looking for a deserving home for your vote? Well, my advice is to look away now.

On this fine St George's Day, the British National Party has decided to publish its election manifesto – and it contains one of the more, let's say, intriguing environmental policy offerings being put forward by any of the political parties. Granted, it includes many of the predictable conservation measures you would expect from any small "c" conservative party concerned about the degradation of our "green and pleasant land". So, for example, there's a demand to end the "destruction of Britain's green belt", a promise to use "brown sites" for new developments, and a call for a "polluter pays" policy. And there are a few nods to greatly improving public transport. All good, sensible stuff. But then the locomotive of sanity well and truly comes off the rails.

According to the BNP, the bulk of the environmental problems we now face are caused by – I suspect you're probably ahead of me by now – "mass immigration".

The BNP's key environment policies: 1. End immigration to relieve pressure on our green belts The BNP will relieve the unbearable pressure on our green belts by ending immigration. This will, at one blow, remove the need for an extra 4 million homes in the green belts of England in particular. 2. Institute strict anti-pollution measures to halt environmental damage The BNP will implement a number of strict measures to halt all environmental damage caused by pollution. These measures will include: • The creation of a "polluter pays" policy to punish transgressors. • The creation of environmental courts with powers to investigate and prosecute fly-tippers, bush-meat importers and commercial and industrial polluters. • The cessation of all new intrusions into the green belt, except in special instances of genuine local need. • Supporting innercity and suburban infill development to supply the needs for new housing and commercial space. • Our ideal is a clean, attractive country, free of pollution in all its forms, including – where feasible – those of noise, light and congestion.

In BNP World – not a theme park I would recommend taking your kids to, by the way – all immigrants are, quite literally, seen as pollution. For example, immigrants are even to blame for our traffic jams: "The BNP will reduce traffic congestion by bringing the immigration invasion under control."

But, as I've discussed before, perhaps the most interesting – and telling – environmental policy the BNP offers to voters is its stance on climate change:

The global warming theory For several years, the BNP was the only party to express serious doubts over the claims of "global warming". The deluge of recent revelations over the fraud, deception and distortion used in promoting this theory has undermined public confidence in the concept and has proven the BNP's original scepticism correct. Climate has always changed but this process has been both natural and cyclical. In Roman times, vines were grown as far north as Hadrian's Wall and olives were cultivated elsewhere in England. Most of the underlying tenets of the global warming theory – including the "hockey stick" graph and global temperature rises – have been shown to be either completely fraudulent or grossly exaggerated. Those who recall the 1970s scare of "global cooling" will know that these manias grip the media and easily swayed politicians from time to time. The sinister aspect of the global warming theory is however that for the first time the currently ruling elite seek to punish the British public financially directly through increased taxes to give to the third world as "compensation" for this hoax; and to de-industrialise Britain through the imposition of impossible environmental targets. Billions of pounds have already been added to taxpayers' utility bills – a scandal which last winter saw the death of up to 40,000 elderly due to hypothermia because of the levy on fuel, which has rendered household heating unaffordable. The end result of the "global warming" theory is that the west will be de-industrialised and taxed to provide even more "aid" to the third world and to build up the industries of China and India in particular. This will have a disastrous effect on what is left of the British economy and manufacturing industry. The BNP is the only party to question the global warming theory and to argue in favour of a reasonable, calm and rational approach to environmental care.

One immediate thought about that last sentence which springs to mind – other than it contracts the passage's first sentence – is that it is clearly wrong. Anyone who has "serious doubts" about "global warming theory" can also seek ballot-box sanctuary in the comforting bosom of the UK Independence party, who, lest we ever forget, boasts none other than the infamous climate sceptic Lord Monckton as its chief spokesperson on climate change. So let it never be said that climate sceptics do not have a choice in this election.

One final observation before we (hurriedly) leave the BNP manifesto. Tucked away in the law-and-order section of the manifesto is this interesting curio:

Establish a penal station for hardened and repeat criminals on the British island of South Georgia. To prevent corruption, the prison governor will be changed every six months and will not qualify to serve a further term for three years. The prisoners will be used to construct modern port facilities, suitable for fishing vessels. Introduce physical labour into the prison service, in return for remission for good conduct. To this extent, there are numerous areas where electronically tagged physical labour is required. Two immediate areas include the urgent re-construction of sea defences and, secondly, the placement of fibre-optic cabling in the rural community. These facilities, provided by the prison service, will produce a welcome source of revenue.

So, let me get this clear: of all the things the BNP wants to use forced labour for, it chooses to list first the "urgent re-construction of sea defences"? But I thought it didn't believe in global warming? Oh, silly me: it's probably to stop all those traffic jam-inducing immigrants swimming ashore from Calais.