Forget the piles of peer-reviewed research accumulated by scientists over decades, climate change is actually great news for mankind. Or so says Texas Rep. Lamar Smith, the Republican head of the House Committee on Science, Space and Technology. In a baffling editorial titled "Don't Believe the Hysteria Over Carbon Dioxide", Smith complains that Americans are being brainwashed by "alarmists' claims" (read: scientific consensus) and urges readers to consider the many perks of atmospheric armageddon.

For example, churning carbon dioxide into the environment is no biggie because plants love the stuff. "A higher concentration of carbon dioxide in our atmosphere would aid photosynthesis, which in turn contributes to increased plant growth. This correlates to a greater volume of food production and better quality food," Smith writes, referencing uncited "studies" while ignoring reams of research that show any benefit would be canceled out by other climate factors, such as drought and temperature increases.