Spare a thought for the Mail this week, which is currently sweating bile-laced ink trying to reconcile two of its core values: tough borders and British supremacy.

It’s discovered that EU countries might charge British travellers a £6 visa fee when they visit after Brexit: the rather predictable outcome of, y’know, years railing against the UK’s EU membership, and championing stronger borders between the UK and Europe.

“EU must be joking!” it exclaims, barely able to believe that ideological zeal has consequences. “Brussels wants British holidaymakers to pay £6 visa fee when they visit one of 27 European nations after Brexit.”

Don’t worry, Mail, your mole has a solution for this that would let British holidaymakers in all their pale and straw-hatted glory go to Europe absolutely visa-free. Maybe it could be your next campaign? You’re going to love it, and your readers will be so grateful for this ingenious travel hack. It’s called free movement.