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Blitzer : We are just following the latest breaking fall out from Jesus’ latest inflammatory comments this week. Let’s play a clip.

CLIP [Jesus speaking] I will destroy this temple, and I will raise it again in three days.

CLIP

Blitzer : This statement has caused an absolute uproar in Palestine. We’re calling in our fact-checking team.

Random fact-checking reporter: Yes, Blitzer. There is no way that Jesus can destroy this temple or rebuild it in three days. As you know history says it took several years to finish the building. There is no way the Jewish leaders or the Romans will let Jesus or any of his followers to do it. We’re giving him a pants on fire for this statement.

Blitzer : Thank you, Jane. Now to discuss these comments we’ve called in a special panel. Joshua, a representative from the Phariseeses, a retired Roman centurion, Archus, and one of Jesus’ senior advisors Peter. Let’s start with you Joshua, what do you think?

Joshua : Well, Blitzer, I would just like to thank you for having me on. We’ve seen this again and again with Jesus. If he only would just heal a few people (although not on the Sabbath) and stick to his pro-love message, we would support him. That’s the general conventional way rabbis gain followers you know.

What is doubly troubling about this is that it’s obviously a dog whistle to the Samaritans who hate us and hate worshiping in Jerusalem.

Blitzer : Thank you Joshua. Now we’re on to Archus, a retired Roman centurion. He’s out with a new book this spring; Romans in Palestine; a history of coexistance. Archus, what are your thoughts?

Archus : I agree pretty much with with Joshua said. Jesus has a pretty bad history of saying whatever is on his mind. In the beginning of his career he talked a lot about the kingdom of God. Some people say it was just a joke and not incitement to some general insurrection, but still, why play with fire?

Blitzer : Thank you, Archus. We really appreciate you coming on. We had some gold star Jews earlier this morning whose grandparents had worked on the temple and were incensed that Jesus was disparaged their sacrifice and labor of love. It seems like Jesus has definitely lost the Jerusalem vote.

We have just a minute left, but we’d like to bring in Peter, one of Jesus’s followers.

Peter : Thank you for having me Blitzer.

Blitzer: Peter you have been with Jesus for over a year now. Are you still supporting him when he says these obviously racist things?

Peter : Well, um it’s not really racist. He’s a bit different you know privately than publicly. He told us privately that he was actually telling us about his body.

Blitzer : His body? Actually Peter, we have a clip of what he said. Could you please run that clip for us again?

[Run the clip again]

So what is the reason for speaking so irresponsibly if he meant his body? Doesn’t he know that if he keeps on speaking this way the Romans will come and take our country away?

Peter : Well, he was talking about his body. None of us are exactly sure what that means; but that’s what is great about good leaders you know, they are unpredictable. What we do know, is that Jesus wants to make us great again.

Joshua : What’s that about making us great again? Just a few days ago he was saying he’d make us see again. This ridiculing of religious leaders and our people has to stop. Just a month ago he said absolutely horrible, nasty and terrible things about a woman who wanted her child to have a demon taken out, calling her a dog. Is this the way a Rabbi should behave? Where is common decency? Is this the kind of rabbi we can elect and tell our children about? How would you feel if Jesus had called your mother a dog?

[Peter and Joshua Crossfire talk]

BLITZER : Ok, we’ll have to end it there. It seems there is breaking news from our reporter on the shores of Galilee. We’re going live to Galilee right now where our reporter is there with the crowds at another Jesus rally. Jack, what have you heard?

Reporter Jack : Thank you Blitzer. We’re at the rally right now, and Jesus has just encouraged people to become cannibals. . . .

Has this piked your interest in the similarities between Jesus and Trump? Here are some of the communication similarities between the two men .