Sometimes the headlines just write themselves: "Premier Inn guest hurled racist abuse with fire extinguisher hose up his bottom" being a case in point. The sordid tale involves Joseph Small of Sheffield, who checked into a Premier Inn in London while in town to buy a used car. A clerk saw him naked in a hotel corridor on the CCTV camera; when he went to investigate, he found Small holding a fire-extinguisher, whose hose Small then stuck up his bum, while fondling himself and shouting "This country has been taken over by al-Qaeda – go back to Pakistan" at the clerk. The clerk is of Bangladeshi origin. Mr Small later urinated on the lobby carpet while shouting "I'm from Sheffield!"

Small admitted criminal damage, racially aggravated harassment and outraging public decency at the Leicester Square, central London hotel on October 31.

Prosecutor Izolda Switala-Gribbin said: 'A member of staff by the name of Hassan could see a naked man in the corridor on CCTV. He went with a towel and then escorted him down to reception.

'Hassan then watched CCTV showing the defendant coming out of a storage cupboard, naked and urinating on the lift door. The defendant could also be seen on CCTV placing a fire extinguisher hose and masturbating at the same time. Hassan called the police.'

Small racially abused the two police officers who arrived.