One of the most hilarious things that Donald Trump does is his pained and hurt act every time Ted Cruz accuses him of being pro-choice, just because he said he was pro-choice on national television for decades. Trump’s standard response to this is “Everyone knows I’m pro-life.”

Well, in point of fact, no one knows that. All we have to go on is Trump’s own word on the matter, which he suddenly declared (not at all for political reasons) in 2012. Now, what Trump would have you believe is that his word, once he declares it, is inviolable and ever-changing, and therefore it’s ridiculous for anyone to question his word on whether he is pro-life.

Well, just for craps and giggles, let’s examine how constant and never-changing Trump’s word is on life issues, specifically with respect to Planned Parenthood.

Position 1: For all his life until 2012, Trump was a major public booster of Planned Parenthood and all its works, which is not surprising for an open pro-choice person like Donald Trump was. Trump admits that during this time, he was at least possibly a Planned Parenthood donor.

Position 2: After beginning his Presidential campaign, he pretended for a brief time to be the most conservative candidate out there, so he came out in favor of unequivocally shutting down the government over Planned Parenthood funding in August.

Position 3: A week later, showing his ignorance of this issue altogether, Trump stated that he would support government funding of some of the “good aspects” of Planned Parenthood, just not the abortion aspects. Trump apparently was unaware that a) this is already at least ostensibly government policy and b) that money is the ultimate fungible good. If a homeless person comes up to you and says, “I only have $20, which is not enough for me to both buy lunch and also the crack I want to smoke. If you give me $20, I promise I’ll use it on the sandwich, and I’ll use my own money on the crack.” You’re not going to give that person $20 for obvious reasons, unless you are an idiot or are just really into enabling crack addiction.

Position 4: By October he had changed his position yet again, and was no longer willing to commit to shutting down the government over Planned Parenthood defunding. However, he still stated unequivocally that “Absolutely Planned Parenthood should be defunded.” There was no caveat over preserving the possible “good aspects” of Planned Parenthood.

Position 5: By December he was repeating the actual Planned Parenthood line (which is a lie) that abortions are “only a small part” of what they do and that many women love Planned Parenthood so they should be left alone. But he allowed that “maybe” unless Planned Parenthood stops doing abortions we should remove their Federal funding. “Maybe.”

Position 6: In the middle of the heated South Carolina debate, Trump was so eager to appear on the opposite side of literally any issue from Ted Cruz that he was basically screaming about the “wonderful things” that Planned Parenthood does for “women’s health.”

Position 7: In response to being blistered on the backside by Cruz and all the other Republicans for his pro-Planned Parenthood diatribe during the debate, Trump sat down with CBN and stated unequivocally that unless Planned Parenthood stopped doing abortions altogether he would promise to defund them: “They do a lot of good things for women but as long as they’re involved with the abortions, as you know they say it’s 3 percent of their work, some people say it’s 10 percent, some people say it’s 8 percent, I hear all different percentages but it doesn’t matter. … As long as they’re involved with abortion, as far as I’m concerned forget it, I wouldn’t fund them regardless.”

Gee, why wouldn’t people absolutely trust the word of a guy who has taken 7 different public positions on a fairly simple question within the last 6 months? Why would anyone be concerned at all about Donald Trump’s commitment to the pro-life cause.