To become a soldier, one must train until they're borderline superhuman. Not only must they sharpen their mental and physical faculties to a razor's edge, but they must also master a wide array of skills, ranging from combat techniques and arms handling to spitballing, swirly-giving, and how to instinctively judge the elastic limits of waistbands for flawless wedgie effectiveness. What, you didn't know that pulling off hilariously childish shenanigans was an integral part of military service? Then obviously you've never heard about the time that ...

5 U.S. Navy Sailors Toilet-Bombed Vietnam

US Navy via Midway Sailor

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If movies have taught us anything, it's that while war is hell, Vietnam was somehow heller. But say you've just spontaneously Quantum Leapt into the body of a Vietnam-era Navy pilot, and you find yourself in a unique situation: on the one hand, you've got the six millionth pound of ordinance about to be dropped on North Vietnam, and on the other hand, you've got a broken toilet. What would you do?

Commander Clarence "Bill" Stoddard didn't have to think too hard about that particular quandary.

US Navy via Midway Sailor

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"What are the aerodynamic implications if I actually take a dump in it before we put it on the plane?"

With a looming a milestone like dropping the six millionth pound of freedom, Bill knew he had to do something special. So rather than allowing a broken toilet to be dumped overboard, the ordinance crew "made a rack, tailfins, and nose fuse for it." Hell, they even went so far as to slap the squadron's "Fist of the Fleet" insignia on there.

US Navy via Midway Sailor

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"Oh sure, it can be symbolic of a fist to the face, too. We're not picky about where it ends up."