Erin Fuller, 47, was raised in Port Jervis as a boy, yet since her earliest years has always had a female perspective on life.

Fuller made the difficult decision about eight years ago to begin the process of living life as she sees it.

While she understands and regrets the problems faced by her family, she said she just wants the same in life as anyone else – love, acceptance, and a chance to make a living for her family.

Fuller was born on May 31, 1969, and said her problems started early on.

“My mother confided to me, after I shared my decision to transition, that family and friends would often remark that something was ‘off’ about me and they should get help for me. For one, I was told that potty-training was a chore as it I would naturally try to squat rather than stand,” Fuller said. “I was never into sports, and wanted to do what girls were doing.”

“There was really no help when I was growing up, even if my parents had wanted to get it, and locally there still isn’t. My parents tried to handle me on their own. My parents are not bad parents, and even with current problems they still love me. I know they do.”

Besides gender issues as she grew up, Fuller was struck and seriously injured by a drunk driver at age seven. She nearly lost her right leg and has physical problems still today.

“I just never fit in anywhere,” Fuller said. “Boys could tell I was weaker, and it was unacceptable to do ‘girly’ things. I did my best to fit in, but I was bullied and beaten up a lot,” Fuller recalled.

As she grew up, Fuller kept to herself, dropping out of high school and working in her father’s automotive business. While she regrets not continuing her education, she is glad to have made a living as a tow truck driver for many years.

“I later went to work for a Port Jervis company and absolutely loved this job. I was there two years when I could no longer contain my gender dysphoria. I began to transition with the help of specialists in 2009,” Fuller said. “I was given a ‘carry letter’ explaining my appearance, mannerisms, and expression, all of which come naturally for me and mean no harm or nefarious intention.”

At first the company president vowed his support, Fuller said, but as transitioning began this changed.

“I continued working for almost a year after submitting my letter,” Fuller said. “In August of 2010, I supplied a court document changing my name to my new first name, Erin. My boss then told me ‘now I have a problem with your condition and I have to let you go.’”

Her former employer declined to comment. However, Fuller said her employer’s first response was quickly revised to "work is slow, let’s get you some unemployment" and she was told that her job would be waiting should she choose to wear "normal clothes again."

At first, Fuller planned simply to find another job. Yet at the urging of others, she filed a sex discrimination case – a case she won on April 1, 2015, in the New York State Division of Human Rights headquarters in the Bronx. A second victory came a month later before the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, and she expects a third in response to her former employer’s appeal.

Following the loss of her job, Fuller’s life spiraled out of control, she said. She became severely depressed, her family split up, and she was homeless for a time, living in a tent.

As a teen, Fuller dated females while living in her forced male role. Fuller married Laurie, and they remain married after nearly 20 years.

“I lived for others and was forbidden to be myself, assuming the male role this demanded,” Fuller said. “To anyone I may have upset by this, I apologize. However, I have always been genuinely attracted to my wife, right from the start, and I love her deeply.”

As husband and wife, the couple had two sons and lived a "normal" family life for many years. Laurie says in looking back, however, there were inklings of problems.

“For one, I found women’s clothes and thought Erin was having an affair. She didn’t explain, but assured me this was not what was going on. I figured she would tell me when she was ready,” Laurie recalled.

That open conversation did happen about 10 years ago. Fuller said she had been researching and trying to understand why she felt as she did. She told Laurie she was on a journey of self-discovery and did not expect anyone to have to change to accommodate her.

“But things started changing in many ways. Erin would come home from work, go right into the bathroom, and come out smelling like nail polish remover. I knew she was struggling, and it was either be herself or commit suicide. Suicide is the choice for many transgender people when their family and friends abandon them,” Laurie said. “Erin would dress up as a woman, and our boys did not understand. I love Erin, but I had to do what was best for them. Our family split up. It was very hard.”

The couple remains married, and best friends. Fuller says her intention was never to hurt anyone, especially her family.

“I love my wife deeply. She tells me she loves me and wants to accept me, but I know it is who I was that she actually clings to,” Fuller said. “My sons are smart, considerate, respectful, and make me proud every day. I give my family credit for trying and I understand it’s not easy accepting who I am now.”

Physically, Fuller is pretty much the same. Sex change operations are very expensive, and she says being physically female is not as important as being able to live as she feels in mind and spirit.

Fuller’s wife says everyone deserves to be happy, and people need to learn more about the many ways people can be born and seek to find their way.

“We’re all human and deserve to be loved, happy, and respected,” Laurie said.

Both Erin and Laurie issued reassurance about public place concerns.

“What people don’t understand is that transgender persons go into a bathroom simply to use the bathroom, no other reason. They mean no harm, and they cause no harm,” Laurie said.

“No transgender person will ever use a bathroom or public shower without privacy stalls. They are not comfortable in their own skin and anatomy, so they would never expose themselves to others. I just can’t see that ever happening,” Fuller said. “Like me, I’m sure they’re just living their everyday lives.”

As she joins others in welcoming a new year, Erin is concerned about changes that could erase progress in gender equality issues.

“Many of the incoming presidential administration appointments seem very, very anti-LGBT. So, yes, I am concerned about 2017 and what it may mean to transgender women like me and younger ones who have just begun to change their lives for the good,” Erin said.

“Incidentally, Laurie and I were in Wal-Mart last week, at the service counter, and a group of men - four in all in a group - were ahead of us in line. My transgender friend was working, and one of the men made a comment to his three buddies in reference to her. He said, 'Look, there is one of those ‘he/shes,'" recalled Erin. “I let him utter that twice and then corrected him in a subdued tone, telling him she is not a ‘he/she’ at all.”

The man’s response gave Erin hope.

“The man did correct and excused himself,” Erin said. “He said ‘transgender, sorry!’, and that felt awesome to hear.”