From Real Time Nov. 7, 2008. New Rules.

And finally New Rule, now that you've lost Republicans have to agree not to waste everyone's time spending the next four years screaming for investigations of Barack Obama over made up bulls#*t. Let's not kid ourselves. The hard core Republican base is like a stalker. Rejection just makes them crazier. You think Matt Drudge was a vindictive p#%ck before. His headline Wednesday morning was Senior Citizen and Woman Beaten By Black Man. [...] And wait till you see Ann Coulter's new book How to Field Dress a Liberal.

You know there's loyal opposition and then there's just opposition. Let's not do the 90's again except for the part where we have peace and prosperity. You know there was an entire industry back then dedicated to making Bill Clinton's life miserable over expensive hair cuts and old land deals and the Lincoln Bedroom and getting blown. But this ain't the 90's.

We've got two wars, a melting planet and the only thing keeping the economy from total collapse is Sarah Palin's shopping sprees. But you know what phrase I don't want to hear used frivolously for the next four years whenever Barack Obama forgets to put the kids in the car seat? Disrespect for the rule of law. Dick Cheney ordered prisoners tortured by name. That ship has sailed.

I don't want to hear Sean Hannity say that "Barack Obama announced that his daughters will be getting a puppy. A puppy from where? Probably a chihuahua that came in from Mexico illegally. And how do we know this isn't a dog that pals around with terriers?

You know when Obama starts a preemptive war and then f%#ks it up and makes torture our official policy and outs a CIA agent and purges US Attorneys and tries to put his cleaning lady on the Supreme Court and doesn't act on global warming and appoints at the head of FEMA an ex-d*#do salesman who was his college roommate, you know, that kind of stuff, believe me I'll be with you.

But until then I don't want to see Republicans freaking out if Obama isn't singing the National Anthem loud enough or they find out he gets his suits made in France. If he puts a moon roof in the Presidential limo, he's not making himself Fuehrer. He's just trying to get the smell of stupidity out of the seats. And mostly I don't want to hear about ACORN. Your guy lost by eight million votes. Just because you don't know any black people doesn't mean they don't exist.