"Skaldi?" I ask, looking around. "Where are we?" I try to blink away the unfamiliar light as I take in the strange world around me. The first thing I see is hay, and what must've once been a stable. I'm in a clearing by some woods, and there are some very old looking houses with thatched roofs. What the heck? "Skaldi?" I ask again. She isn't responding.

I glance at my wrist and find that her bracelet is gone. Oh no. my hand darts to my throat and I find my collar still there, the tags jingling at my contact. I breathe out a sigh of relief. That's something at least. They would punish me so badly if I lost that.

Well, I guess I just have to find everyone. What had that lady said? Something about Asgard? That's the home of the Aesir, right? I know Skaldi had mentioned them. It's not where she's from though, so I'm not sure how much help she'd be. I still miss her though. I haven't been without her in over two years. Though it is kind of nice not being cold for once.

I knock on the door of the first house. My hand goes right through the thin wood. That's never happened before. Has my training with Uncle Pete made me that strong? I stare at my hand before looking back to the door. The wood looks like it's rotted and falling apart. I guess I don't have peak human strength from training. Dang. I wanted to be Batman.

Shoving open the door, I head inside and find it deserted. There's a table with a few chairs, an old oven that I can't even imagine how to operate, and some incredibly uncomfortable looking beds, straw poking out of the mattresses. I guess I won't find any help here. I need to keep moving, I have to find a way out, I have to get back to them.

The door splits open as I close it behind me. Fortunately, no one is living there, so I only feel a little bad for breaking it. The other houses all seem to be just as empty. I head out, walking down what I guess must be a road, but I'm not sure I feel comfortable calling it that. Even a trail seems to be stretching it. It's just occasional marks in the ground, mostly faded and obscured. How long has it been since anyone was here?

As I walk, I find myself missing the usual voice in my head all the more. What did I even do on walks when I didn't have her to talk to? Oh! Right! I grab my phone from the sewn in pocket inside of the harem pants of my costume. There's no signal. Apparently the home of the gods doesn't have great reception. Who would even want to live here, then? I glance back at the houses I'd left behind, wondering if that answers my question. No sense making myself all sad. I don't care if I'm the only person in the whole world, I'm finding a way out of here.

I don't have my earbuds, but it's not like there's anyone around to bother with the sound. I go through my music, trying to find something cheery and good for a road trip.

Mary Lambert's soothing voice joins my footsteps, filling up the eerie silence of these lonely hills. There's a few mountains off to the side, but the path seems to be leading me through an endless stretch of hills. I wish I'd asked for more details on Asgard when I was alive. I throw my own voice in, singing along as I walk, before breaking into a skip. I'm scared, and I'm lonely, which is a really new feeling, but that doesn't mean I need to let it get to me. I'm on an adventure. I just have to think of it like that and it'll be fun.

Hours pass by without me seeing anything much at all. A few burnt down husks that must have once been houses, but the only reason I say that is because I can't imagine what else they'd have been. There's no people, the path is still barely a path. Maybe I should've gone toward the mountains. Where is the Bifrost? You'd think a big shiny rainbow bridge would stand out!

I run out of Mary Lambert albums, and Weird Al's Ode to a Superhero is blaring through the country-side, with me singing along. How could I not? I am a super hero after all. I'm glad that I have a new Weird Al song that describes me. White and Nerdy was awkward to explain when I'm not white. As I giggle at my own joke, I can't help but wish that Skaldi was here. She wouldn't have understood the joke at all, but she would've at least given me company.

"There's no time for jokes, little one," I say, speaking for her.

"Elsa says there's always time for jokes."

"As I keep telling you, she is a bad influence." I wag my finger at myself as I walk.

"Well I love her, and you at least like her feet. And I love Anna too, and you don't even seem to think she's that bad of an influence."

"Other than the murder. At least she makes you study."

Oh no! I'm gonna miss school! I have a midterm on Monday! My phone says that it's still Saturday, though I don't know how accurate it is. I'm just impressed it's still alive. The battery says zero. Is it because I'm in Asgard? Can things not die here? Baldur died. That mythology class was so much easier with all the gods I live with. I just wish that could help with my physics test.

I try to access Blackboard on my phone, so I can look over the study guide, but of course I still don't have internet. Some heaven this is.

Just as 'The Saga Begins,' I see a large castle jutting out of a hill a few miles away. It's partially obscured by other hills in the way, and some foliage seems to be covering it, but it's actually intact. Maybe I can find some information there. If there aren't any gods inside, then at least there might be a map.

Without my powers all of this walking is a little annoying, but I'm still in good enough shape, and it feels sort of like walking takes less out of me. I wonder if there's lower gravity in Asgard. It would certainly explain a few of the feats that you read about.

The outside of the castle is falling apart. Finding anyone inside is seeming increasingly unlikely. The stones have fallen out to create a second even bigger doorway next to the actual one. I guess there's no real point in knocking, I walk in through the opening, with a good three feet clear on either side of me.

Inside, it's not any different. There's rubble everywhere, I think I can see almost all of the pieces of that wall, but a few torches are still lit. That's weird. There's cobwebs, and the place smells of decay and rot, but I can just barely hear the faintest echoes of movement.

Exploring further inside, the noises start to form themselves into something coherent. Is that crunching? I try one door and the sound fades, so I turn back and head down the other hallway. Before me sits a dining hall bigger than our entire penthouse apartment. Tables stretch out across the room. It looks kind of like Hogwarts, if Hogwarts was really depressing. So, maybe seventh book Hogwarts.

The crunching stops and a tower of a man, with a long pointed black beard stares at me. "Good evening!" he calls, his loud voice echoing in the empty room.

I'm so glad that I talked Skaldi into teaching me Old Norse. Being able to read the Prose Edda in its original dialect was amazing! Though Loki may actually be trans. I had a long talk with Elsa about that and had to have a bit of a lesson. It went much better than when she first told me and I tried to use it as evidence that I was still straight. My cheek still hurts just thinking about it.

"Can you talk?" he asks.

Right. I've been talking to myself too much today. I forgot to reply. "Hi!" I manage. That was English. "Sorry, hello," I correct, in Old Norse. Skaldi says my accent is terrible, but I can still speak it passably.

"Come, take a seat. There's much to eat." He gestures toward a plate of meat. I think it might be pheasant. An assortment of vegetables surround it.

"Okay." I am kind of hungry. I hope this doesn't work like the Fae. I sit across from him and pile some bird and vegetables onto my plate. I don't recognize most of it. I guess I'm just too used to what most foods look like nowadays. "Who are you?" I ask. "My name's Jasmine."

"Jasmine? A lovely name."

"And yours is?" I look around the empty room. "Are you one of the Aesir?"

"Of course." His eyes alight on mine and his lips curl into a strange smile. "I'm Odin."

"Then why do you have two eyes?"

"It grew back."

He sacrificed it. That doesn't even make sense. If it came back, then shouldn't he not have the knowledge? "Where are all of the other gods?"

"Oh, they're getting ready to fight in Ragnarok."

I blink. "It's happening? Now? But then why are we here? That Valkyrie grabbed me and –" I try to remember. It just isn't coming to me. What happened? "I guess she brought me here. Should I be getting a weapon? I'm pretty good with a spear."

"A Valkyrie brought you?" His smile falters, his eyes widening, but he catches himself. "Right, to Asgard. Of course she did. Welcome to Valhalla."

I nod. This sure doesn't look like Valhalla, but I only have how Skaldi described it to go off of. I guess this could just be what it's like now. I take a bite of the pheasant. Its skin is crisp and the meat is more flavorful than I'd expected. It's not like chicken, but it's more like it than turkey or duck. "This is delicious. Is the chef here?"

"I made it myself."

"You. Odin. Cooked?"

He chuckles. "Is that so hard to believe? I do have all knowledge. That does include cooking."

"Well how do I get out of here? Where's the Bifrost?"

"Leave? Why would you want to leave?"

Yeah. This isn't Odin. This isn't Valhalla. "I have people waiting for me. They're probably looking for me now, heck that may be where all of the gods are – fighting them. The aesir don't stand a chance. So, I'm gonna leave and join them, and stop the fighting, and I just need some directions."

On the wall there are a few weapons. They're just ornaments, but I can't imagine they're not battle ready here. If there's one thing Norse gods always are, it's battle ready. The nearest ones are a pair of axes. A broadsword is next to them. I don't see a spear anywhere.

I take a few more bites of the bird. This is going to suck. I just can't risk staying here for the whole meal, he's acting too weird. "So, where did you say it was?"

"I won't let you leave," he mutters, his voice a fast monotone. "You just got here. You're one of my Einherjar now, and you need to stay with me."

"You're not Odin. This isn't Valhalla." Is this even Asgard?

"Whatever do you mean?" His smile appears, faker than ever. "Of course I am. This is. I must train you for the coming battle, so I can't have you leaving, not until Ragnarok."

"You said it was starting."

"Soon."

One more large bite. I only chew enough that I can swallow, before I bolt from my seat and rip the axes from their mount on the wall. Before I can turn back, he's on me, trying to twist my arms back. I was trained for this. "Shin scrape!" I shout, kicking him hard in the shin.

He falls back, staring at me as I turn on him. "What?"

You're not actually supposed to say it, but scraping someone's shin hurts a lot, so Pete just has us say and pantomime it. Muscle memory is dumb. I hold the axes at the ready. My stance is a little awkward, and I have no idea what I'm doing with them, but it's better than nothing. "Where am I?!"

Snarling, he lunges again.

I thwack him in the face with the pommel of my axe, hitting him right in the nose. Not so fun, is it? "Where am I?" I repeat, my voice as hard as I can make it. I'm the Ice Queen. Criminals run in terror at my name. I can be intimidating.

"Hel!" he coughs, holding his nose.

Hell? No. Hel. Oh, no. "How do I get out?"

He snorts out blood.

"Oh, for heaven's sake." I drop the axes and take a step forward, holding his head in place with one hand as I give his nose a sharp tug with the other. "There, is that better?"

Sniffling, he nods his head. "Yes."

"Now, answer the question!"

He drops to his knees, grabbing the axes. I barely manage to jump in time before the blades pass just below my feet.

Dashing to the side, I snatch the broadsword from the wall without slowing down. I pivot on my last step, blocking one of his weapons with my own, and leaping back to avoid the other. As he starts to bring the second axe back, I bring my sword up in a quick arc, slicing through the handle and limiting him to only a single item that could disembowel me.

"Bitch," he growls.

"No you!" I call back, feigning a lunge.

He isn't as dumb as I expected. He knocks my sword aside with the handle of the broken axe and swings the other at my head. I bring my blade back at the last second to block it. The head of his weapon is mere inches from my face as I stare down death. I've apparently done that once already today. That was more than enough.

I kick him in the nuts. It took a lot of convincing, but Elsa and Anna were very insistent that it's a viable strategy, and Pete seemed to agree.

He hops back, clutching at his privates. "You –"

I lower my shoulder and tackle him, ripping the one whole axe out of his hand with my left hand, tossing it aside before following up with a quick punch to the face.

He clonks me in the temple with the wooden shaft and the whole room begins to spin and sing. I blink, trying to force sense back into the world and feel another blow on my chin. Stumbling back, I bump into a table. I hold the sword out in front of me, straight out, trying to keep him back while I figure out where in this merry-go-round he is.

Two of him come from my right side, swinging the stick two handed. I leap up onto the table, and he manages to correct the course of his swing to hit me in the calf. Ow. I lift it up, stumbling on my other leg, and use the momentum to swing my injured limb and hit him in the cheek.

Before I can pull it back, he snatches my leg out of the air and gives it a sharp tug, bringing me crashing down onto the table.

He climbs up, pulling the weapon back over his head. If that thing comes down, I'm not sure I can survive it. I shove my weapon forward, finding it burying itself in his stomach. He falters, his eyes losing focus as I drag it up.

The stick falls out of his hand, hitting me in the eye. It's a lot less painful than it would've been otherwise, but I can already feel it swelling. I shove him off of me, the sword staying inside of him as he falls to the floor.

He doesn't move.

Oh, God.

I killed him.

I'm a murderer.

I stare up at the ceiling as it finally stops spinning. What have I done?