Opinion: You’re a Fucking Moron If You Really Believe the Xbox Series X Will Be Big Enough to Hold 6 Teraflops

Don’t let yourself get suckered by all that fancy talk Microsoft is blowing up your ass. There’s just no way the Xbox Series X could contain 6 teraflops in such a small space.

Listen, I looked over the reveal footage and compared the size of the console to Phil Spencer, and there’s no way all those teraflops could fit without having ventilation issues at the very least. It would be the clown car of consoles, and if you buy it you’re investing in the dipshit circus.

The truth is I feel sorry for you. I wish I could believe in a fantasy world where that many teraflops could all be in one place like that, but after popping open the side of my case to install some high power RAM I just know too much now.

I’m not surprised you console gamers are so gullible though. How could you believe your console is powerful when it costs as much as my graphics card alone? Building a PC really makes you appreciate the nuances of how powerful your system is. For instance, the guy at Best Buy assured me my new graphics card would enhance my ambient occlusion, and boy is the ambience in my games occluded as fuck.

Do you even know what a teraflop is, you goddamn idiot? I wish I had the space and time to explain it to you, but then I wouldn’t have any room for how fucking pissed I am.

I’d watch actual gameplay footage to do a deeper analysis, but anything under 120 frames per second makes me feel sick, so I have to abstain for my health.

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