Photo: WWE

Where to begin, where to begin. First of all, who knew the fact there was no audience wasn’t the weirdest part of WrestleMania 36? As you might have anticipated, WWE golden boy John Cena turned up this weekend for a match, ready to square off against his old rival Bray Wyatt. However, while Cena has left professional wrestling to work on such Hollywood films as Bumblebee and Playing With Fire, Wyatt launched a puppet show entitled Firefly Fun House in April 2019. Oh, and he also developed a sinister supernatural alternate personality called The Fiend who can manipulate time and space. Almost doesn’t seem fair to poor John Cena, but hey, he did accept the challenge. Which is why, on Sunday evening, John Cena found himself in the ring, beating up a German-voiced puppet named Huskus the Pig Boy.

Huskus the Pig Boy, battling it out in the ring at WrestleMania 36. Photo: WWE

Before he found himself wailing on the squealer, however, John Cena was transported to Wyatt’s Firefly Fun House puppet show, accosted by a Vince McMahon puppet, cut a retro tag team promo as “Johnny LargeMeat,” confronted Wyatt-as-backwoods swamp cult leader (Wyatt headed up The Wyatt Family cult from 2013 to 2018), then finally attempted to physically fight Wyatt in the ring. However, just at that critical moment, Wyatt transformed into one of his puppets, the above-mentioned Huskus the Pig Boy.

As a result, John Cena was so understandably shocked, he didn’t notice The Fiend arriving behind him. The Fiend proceeded to give Cena the Mandible Claw and…well, you know, it sure looked like John Cena was killed and transported to parts unknown (probably some kind of puppet-filled hell realm, if we had to guess) but looking at his IMDB, John Cena has plenty of future projects all lined up, so he’s probably going to pull off some glorious return at some point. Just as soon someone can find him.

Don’t worry. It’s just chocolate. Photo: WWE