President Trump must have looked at the Democratic debates the way Bruce Willis looked at the famous wall of weapons in Quentin Tarantino’s “Pulp Fiction.” Should he choose the crossbow or the mace or the samurai sword or the baseball bat or …?

It was as if the Democratic Party’s goal was to give Trump objects with which to bash it.

Julian Castro says he wants to turn illegal border crossings into a parking ticket. Park yourself in America, get a fine! President Castro probably isn’t going to make you pay that fine, by the way. Kamala Harris wants to abolish private health insurance. Elizabeth Warren wants to forgive student debt. Oh, and everybody in the Thursday debate wants Uncle Sam to buy health insurance for however many Guatemalans, Hondurans and El Salvadorans manage to sneak across the border.

One minute Democrats are waxing poetic about the humanitarian crisis down at the border; the next minute they’re proposing to make it 100,000 times worse by issuing engraved invitations to the couple hundred million people south of the border who would love to be ushered into the American health-care system. Bring all your ailments to El Norte, illegal immigrants. American workers will pay your bill.

In the age of Trump, politics has gotten a bit exhausting. A gravestone in the latest “Simpsons” Treehouse of Horror episode read: “Slow News Days.” Wouldn’t it be nice if things could calm down a bit?

Any presidential candidate who stood before the American people and said, “I vow to make politics so boring you won’t have to check the news again till 2024″ would have a pretty compelling argument. There must be millions of Americans in the Upper Midwest thinking, “I dislike Trump but things are otherwise pretty much OK.” Not a single Democrat is trying to reach these voters.

“Return to normalcy” was a winning campaign slogan in 1920, which Joe Biden ought to remember since that’s the year he was first elected to the Senate. Biden seemed like a plausible Return to Normalcy candidate as of, say, 8:59 Thursday night. Not anymore.

Soon thereafter, when every Democrat raised their hands to offer health care to everybody who manages to sneak into the country, Biden didn’t want to seem like yesterday’s man. “Welp,” thought Joe, “I guess that’s what these crazy kids are into today!”

Biden’s appeal is based almost entirely on reminding people that he used to hang with President Obama. Yet the question of whether Obama wanted to provide health care to illegal immigrants is what caused the infamous “You lie!” moment during a speech to Congress 10 years ago.

Remember how the entire Democratic-media complex clutched its pearls at the suggestion that any Democrat would ever cover illegal immigrants’ health care? A blink of an eye later, and the Democrats are bragging about this. Pete Buttigieg thinks it’s our Christian duty as a country to pay for illegal-immigrant health care. I think Mayor Pete might be confusing Jesus Christ with Oprah. “You get free health care! And you get free health care! And you get free health care!”

Also, the Dems want to charge you, Todd and Tanya Taxpayer, to send rich kids from Brooklyn off to Oberlin to major in revolutionary socialism. Also, they want abortion to be legal up to the moment of crowning, with Todd and Tanya forced to pay for that, too. Marianne Williamson’s harness of love was the least crazy idea on offer. If the Democrats had been pre-programmed by the Republican National Committee, they could hardly have damaged their brand more.

Thursday night, even the commercials seemed to undermine the Democrats. A spot for the Alzheimer’s Association in the middle of a program that starred Biden and Bernie Sanders? Hilarious.

But let’s not forget the ad given pride of place, the first one of the night. That was for the other Tarantino flick the debate brought to mind, the upcoming “Once Upon a Time in Hollywood.” It’s about an idyllic place called Southern California, where everyone is having a perfectly pleasant life until a wacky cult called the Manson Family goes on the loose.

You think NBC was trying to tell us something about the Democrat family?