The following post was penned by Major Jake Turner, an active duty Army Officer currently assigned to the Joint Staff. He holds a B.A in English from the University of Florida, a Masters in Policy Management from Georgetown University, and is completing a Masters in Human Resources at the University of Louisville.

Outside a dining hall in Iraq in 2008, a random, surly Lieutenant Colonel walked up to me and said, “Captain, do you like the Army?” I said, yes. He then said, “Well I hate it. I can’t wait to get out. Two more years.” He would go on to tell me all his woes, how he’d been constantly screwed over, how his subordinates keep bothering him, as well plenty of sentences beginning with, “the problem with the Army is… ”

In that short, colorful exchange I realized I never wanted to be like him. I never wanted to be stuck doing a job I hated, wearing a uniform I loathed. He wasn’t just having a bad day, or bad deployment, that guy hated the Army. His plan was to work for an organization he despised for two more years, detesting every moment, every day, to get a full retirement. I never wanted that to be me.

At the time, I was an assistant Brigade Operations Officer waiting on command. My plan was to finish my current job, do my best in command, and take it from there. I never really thought about how long I should stay in the Army. The angry Lieutenant Colonel got me to think hard about the subject.

How long should I stay in? Get out now, stay in two more, do the full twenty: that’s the million dollar question. I remember being told if you’ve served over ten years, you might as well do the full twenty. Money and benefits are important, but they shouldn’t be the main thing getting you up at 0500 every day. Instead, I offer four simple questions to help you make the decision. Ask yourself each one. The first time you say ‘no’, it’s time to get out.

1. Can I still do the job? Are you physically, mentally, and spiritually able to do your job? Can you still ruck? Can you still get up at zero-stupid thirty? Do you still look like a Soldier? Can you do the things required of a Soldier? Being a Soldier is hard. There is no shame in recognizing that you simply can’t do it anymore.

2. Do I want to do the job? If you hate it, get out. It’s that easy. Wearing the uniform is a privilege that should never be taken lightly. We’ve all seen that disgruntled Sergeant First Class or Major who’s been in for 16 years, hates the Army, and makes everyone around him miserable. Don’t be that guy. Life is too short, our nation’s security too important, to have disgruntled Soldiers in our formations.

3. Do I still want to help subordinates? General Colin Powell put it best, “The day the Soldiers stop bringing you their problems is the day you stopped leading them.” We’ve all seen this type of leader. If this is you, it’s time to hang it up.

4. Is this good for my family? My Dad retired right at twenty years as a Lieutenant Colonel. Full bird was well within in grasp, but he had two kids in high school, a wife who loved her home, and established roots in the community. He did his time, and he did it right. I didn’t understand why he didn’t want the eagle when I was younger. Now that I’m older, with a family of my own, I understand. A mentor of mine put it best, “your kids will never remember how good of a Soldier you were, but they will always remember how good of dad you were.” Put your family first. When the time comes, we all know what this means.

Well, everyone but that angry Lieutenant Colonel.