A new year, a new finger food that doesn’t involve toast or crackers or bread. It’s like I took the words out of every single human being’s mouth. And so far, 2013 has been the year of the tapenade and finger foods. Why didn’t I eat tapenade in 2012? Was 2012 a bad year for tapenade? A bad vintage?

Well, just like I tell anyone I knew in high school, forgive and forget. And make a really good vegan finger food. I don’t always include that last part when atoning. But I may start.

This is a long one, folks. You can either be in it to win it or jump to the recipe and pretend that’s your new years resolution. You’re doing it!

All tapenades are not created equally. By this I mean that this tapenade is super jazzed up and ready to party. Example: peppadew peppers? Ready to party. Roasted fennel? Ready to party. Ground almonds? Likes a nice evening with a bottle of wine and some Netflix but for this tapenade it’s making an exception and it’s ready to party. Don’t let almonds down. They really wanted to watch Wall-E tonight with a lovely Merlot.

And when you put that tapenade on a slice of cucumber with a polenta cake, half a grape tomato and roasted yellow peppers, well then, my friend, then you have a gala.

So you’ll forgive and forget this post, right? Ps I’m so sorry for high school.

Moving on.

A word about FENNEL TAPENADE and POLENTA CUCUMBER BITES…

Hey, are you interested in learning the definition of “a rude awakening”? Like the back-of-the-flashcard-study-group definition? Here it is: polenta is corn grits and I am dumb. Corn grit? Polenta is corn grit? Singular words that are also known by plural words are enough to blow my damn mind.

Anyways, here’s the ish. I dislike grits so much that they almost make me mad. I make a point of frowning down upon grits. Grits are right up there with bigotry and falling down the stairs as shit I really fucking hate. They are straight up useless and weird and grainy.

But I love polenta. Always have. Even from ages 7-15 when I used to confuse the word with “placenta.” Not the same thing, btw. That was a weird time in my life.

So, I mean, fuck. Right? I know the textural aspect of corn grits and polenta cakes is physically different and it’s the texture of grits I hate the most so there’s solace in that. But It’s time to suck up my pride which coincidentally is defined as “sucking up some corn grits” so here goes nothing. Lets start small…

Finger food time! Polenta and tapenade bites, folks. Delicately placed on a plate to impress your friends and help you get over this polenta/corn grits tragedy.

ROASTED FENNEL TAPENADE

makes 250g or so

adapted from The Vegan Road

Ingredients:

ROASTED FENNEL

180g fennel, sliced

1 teaspoon olive oil

a dash of dried basil

a dash of dried rosemary

salt and pepper to taste

TAPENADE

100g green olives, pitted (I got some garlic infused ones from the olive bar at Whole Foods. Best move of 2013.)

100g kalamata olives, pitted

50g whole sweet peppadew peppers

½ ounce sprouted almonds

2 cloves of garlic

1 tablespoon capers

1 tablespoon chopped parsley

1 teaspoon lemon juice

½ teaspoon dried basil

pepper to taste

Just smile and tapenade:

Preheat your oven to 400 degrees. Drizzle the olive oil on the fennel, season with the dashes and tastes. Roast for 30 minutes. Once they’re done, dice the pieces.

Toss all the ingredients in a food process. Process! Don’t over-process or it’ll become tapenade mush and no one like tapenade mush…as much as tapenade.

ROASTED FENNEL TAPENADE and POLENTA CUCUMBER BITES

Makes a whole lot

Ingredients:

1 batch of Fennel Roasted Tapenade

½ cup of uncooked polenta

1 ½ cups of water

½ teaspoon dried basil

salt and pepper to taste

1 cucumber, peeled and sliced

some cherry tomatoes, halved

roasted yellow peppers, sliced

parsley

Bring your water to a boil in a small pot. Slowly add the polenta and the seasonings and stir, stir, stir for like 15 minutes or so. Once it’s thickened, transfer it to a cookie sheet or some dish and press it evenly into the pan. Let it sit until it sets.

I used a mini jar to cut my polenta circles but a cookie cutter would be 1000 times smarter. So do that. Make some polenta disks, put them on the cucumber slices, top with about 10g (a heaping amount, in other words) of tapenade. Add whatever additional toppings you desire. Finish with a sprig of parsley for fancy-pants-ness.

NUTRITION FACTS