Some time in the future, with apologies to Rudolph and Burl Ives:

SNOWMAN: Oh, hi there. What’s the matter? Haven’t you ever seen a talking snowman before? Next thing you’ll say you hadn’t heard of the giant tweetstorm of 2017. What’s that? You haven’t heard the story? Well, pull up an ice block.

This was a turbulent year in America, and especially in Washington, D.C. Special counsel Robert Mueller and his team of Justice elves were toiling away in their legal workshops, barely eating, hoping to find a clear path to the truth about election collusion. But what with the smokescreens and flurry of distractions clouding their way, they weren’t sure they’d ever break through.