“Their defense is always, ‘But evolution is only a theory!’ Which is true. I mean, it is a theory. And it’s good, you know, that they say that. Because it gives you hope that then maybe they feel the same way about the theory of gravity and they might just float the fuck away.”

“If you must watch telly, you should watch Scooby Doo. That show was so cool, because every time there was a church with a ghoul, or a ghost in a school, they looked beneath the mask and what was inside? The fucking janitor or the dude who ran the water-slide. Because throughout history, every mystery ever solved has turned out to be - not magic.” — Tim Minchin

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