GAINESVILLE, VA—Cursing under her breath while examining the ultrasound image, area ob-gyn Dr. Geena McDyer was reportedly kind of annoyed Thursday that she had to confirm her patient’s premonition about the sex of her baby that came to her in a dream. “I don’t want to see her smug expression when I tell her she’s right and validate her belief that she’s somehow psychically in tune with her unborn child,” said McDyer, adding that the mother-to-be would have a 50 percent chance of getting the gender correct just by “flipping a fucking coin.” “Even if I lied to her to wipe that expectant grin off her face, she’d ultimately find out she was right when she had the kid, and then she’d believe her stupid dream was powerful enough to overcome modern medicine.” At press time, the patient’s stunned silence seemed to indicate her premonition had not foreseen any of the birth defects McDyer was currently pointing out.

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