Facebook is FULL of entertainment. I keep a few people around on there just because they are usually a day away from being the biggest shit show you have ever seen. I keep the Jiffy Pop ready at all times. You never know when it will go down, but in the mean time there are people on Facebook that always go full retard. Here are a few examples of people going full retard on Facebook.

1. A person has just been involved in an accident in a parking lot and posts this as a status on their Facebook. Something like this:

“My car just got hit in the parking lot at the grocery store”

It never fails that the drama queens have to go full retard and comment on the status. It’s usually along the lines of “OMG girl are you OK?!?!” I always want to reply with “No both of her legs are severed off and she is typing up this status as she lays dying on a stretcher. Of course she is OK, she is posting this shit on FACEBOOK!!!”

2. Someone is unsure of the operating hours of a certain store. They pose the question on Facebook:

“Does anyone know what time Taco Bell closes?”

Instead of going to google.com they have gone full retard and are now waiting for one of their friends to reply with the closing time of said Taco Bell. Some people are just idiots!!!

3. This one always gives me a good chuckle. It’s when the person asks for medical advice on Facebook. And why not, everyone on Facebook is either an attorney, a politician, a doctor, a model or a photographer. This is the exact place I want to go to solicit medical advice.

“OMG little Stevie just drank bleach. Anyone know what I should give him so he doesn’t get sick???”

First off, this person shouldn’t be allowed to procreate. She is probably in full retard 24/7/365. How about getting off Facebook and call Poison Control Center or 911 for that matter. Nope that makes too much sense. I’ll just hang out here on Facebook and wait on advice from all the Facebook doctors that are usually not even in the medical field. Makes sense!!!

Sometimes I actually do call them out on their status and make a smart ass remark. I think you should too and make Facebook and the world a better place. It’s people helping people and it’s powerful stuff!!!