The Empty Seats with Hope

I previously announced here about forming a non-religious social club for the 2nd Generations of the Unification Church living in DC, Maryland, and Virginia. We had our first meeting on July 2nd, 2016. Fifteen people came and we had a good time together. Our meeting had some exposure from this website, and in appreciation, I am sharing a quick report of the meeting. It is not a formal report but a rough sketch of my personal impression. K.S.

I am sorry but we cannot share a picture with faces as we observe confidentiality for the privacy of our members. Those empty seats in the picture above were occupied by the 2nd Gen who attended the meeting. They are currently practicing Unificationism, or other faiths, or no religion. We generally agreed to practice no religion for our club due to our religious differences.

Eva (pseudonym) said, “being a 2nd Gen is like being Jewish. It goes deeper to our identity than our social practice of religion does. The religious difference does not change how we feel towards each other.” Nathan (also pseudonym) said, “when we Church friends meet, we don’t talk about the church or religion anyway.” It is obvious that some 2nd Gen groups are already practicing no religion when it comes to socialization of themselves. Probably, we are just coming out to the Church community and the society with what is already prevailing in individual practices.

Mimosa was served as option, and some church folks drank glasses against the Church’s unspoken prohibition for consuming alcohol. What happens to 2nd Gen people when they are provided with a space that allows practicing no religion and freedom of/from drinking? Nothing special. They just become who they are naturally. And, they look beautiful that way. I had such a good time mingling with these fine folks, who are occupied in society as accountant, DOL inspector, paralegal, service man, public school teacher, fine artist, computer technician, the Church sister of mission, management consultant, financial manager, etc. [sorry, I can’t remember all the occupations] I thought, “life could become so simple and very satisfying.” $10 donation was suggested, but not required. With extra donation from one of the elders, the 2-hour brunch at a private dining room was fully paid and enjoyed.

“Härth,” name of the restaurant where we met in McLean, Virginia, is a poetic spelling of “heart.” It means special to us. With our hearts we 2nd Gens met each other. We are not related by blood but by the special feeling in our hearts. This peculiar sense of connection is based on our common early childhood experiences gained in the Church culture, which we call our “Second Generation Experience.” (SGE) People who do not have the SGE cannot fully see and understand who we are. It is our visceral memory and experience of our common past, and we cannot fully escape from it. And, we don’t have to. We accept our past as it was, regardless of its being good or bad, and try to do right things as needed.

This experience is disadvantage for us when we attempt to make friend with people in the secular society, who cannot really see and understand who we are. Or, if they can, it will take years and they cannot afford it. It’s nobody’s fault. We just grew up differently. Due to this disadvantage, many of us suffer a special type of “loneliness” for lacking a real friend in their hearts – especially when they leave the Church. They are currently surrounded by good people whom they call ‘friend,’ ‘colleague,’ ‘acquaintance,’ etc., but none of them can really meet us at our heart level. Kenneth suffers such loneliness. That was his personal motivation to engage in this club project. “I thought I would have a better chance to find a real friend among 2nd Gen folks. I think I am not the only one.” After the official 2-hour meeting, we remained in our seats for another hour and half, and continued sharing ideas about what we could do together to develop our club identity and activities.

We will continue to meet with other 2nd Gen friends in our hearts. Join us.

Kenneth Suhr,

Organizer for The Second Generations

DC Maryland Virginia

tsg.dmv@gmail.com

Another Meaning of Unification – by Kenneth Suhr

We would like to see happy outcomes for the lives of all of our brothers and sisters, linked by this special 2nd Gen experience.