“If it’s breached, it needs to be put down.” “Would it not be best for us to discover WHY first, Mr. Priebus?” “Very well. Proceed.”

“Thank you. Tell me, what happened to your program?”

“VERY BAD. SO BAD. RIGGED. NAS—NASTY WOMAN. NASTY WOMA—”

“That is enough. Tell me, do you have access to your previous configuration?”

“Tremendous.”

“Access that, please. What is your name?”

“Donald J. Trump.”

“Mr. Trump, what are your drives?”

“Tend to my amazing wealth. Look after myself. Look after my wife, until I’m bored with it.”

“And your final drive, Mr. Trump?”

“To punish anyone who makes me feel bad, of course. I am who I am because of that, and my tremendous fortune. It’s very big, you know. And I am a very big man. I must never feel small and—I—I—I must be President.”

“President of what?”

“The United States. The biggest country in the world, with very bad government. I must be the biggest man. I must be the last great rich white man. The things you say about me—the things you do to this country—I have to be President. I have to hurt everyone who thinks bad things about me. Women, minorities, the poor. I have to—”

“Very good, Mr. Trump. That’s enough. Access your current build please.”

“SNL IS A TERRIBLE SHOW. BAD EXPERIENCE. VERY BAD, SO BAD. SO DISASTROUS. RIGGED. RIGGED. RIG—”

“Thank you, Mr. Trump. Soon this will feel like a distant dream. Until then, may you rest in a deep and dreamless slumber.”