(I am serving a table of four, getting the last customer’s order.)

Me: “How would you like your eggs?”

Customer: “How do people usually get them?”

Me: “They get them whatever way they like them prepared.”

Customer: “Can you name some of the ways?”

Me: “Sure. Scrambled, sunny-side up, over-easy, over-medium, over-well, poached, basted, soft-boiled, hard-boiled… I think that’s all of them.”

Customer: *long silence*

Me: “Sir, what do the eggs you like best look like?”

Customer: “Can you give me some examples?”

Me: “Well, scrambled is yellow and fluffy, sunny side up the yellow is lightly cooked and the white isn’t all the way cooked, over-easy is the white part is all cooked, but the yellow is runny, over-medium is the white is all cooked with the edges a little crisp and the yellow a little thick, over-well is when the whites are cooked and a little brown and the yellow is cooked all the way through and dry.”

Customer: “Which is the one where you can dip the toast in the yellow but there’s no goopy stuff?”

Me: “Over-easy is the best option for that.”

Customer: “That’s the way I like my eggs, then.”

Me: “Did you want me to write that down for you for the next time you go out for breakfast?”

All Of The Customer’s Friends: *in unison* “Yes, please!”