In 1907, Virginia Woolf sent her sister, Vanessa Bell, a mock proclamation in honor of her wedding, written by an imaginary bestiary of well-wishers named Billy, Bartholomew, Mungo and Wombat.

“We the undersigned three Apes and a Wombat wish to make known to you our great grief and joy at the news you intend to marry,” they wrote, before going on to celebrate the discovery of a new kind of ape “who can both talk and marry you.”

“We have examined his fur and find it of fine quality, red and golden at the tips, with an undergrowth of soft down, excellent for winter,” they declared. “We find him clean, merry and sagacious, a wasteful eater and fond of fossils.”