THE MALTESE PONY

Chapter 1: Shut Up And Toast

Fun, bright and cheery. That's how the cartoon made it look. To the viewer Ponyville was a happy little fairytale place with magic and friendship. Every week was a new adventure in which everyone would learn a new important lesson about friendship. That was what Ponyville was supposed to be.

But he knew the truth. Behind the fairytale appearance Ponyville was just another cluster of criminals and murderers. It was like any other city. Anyone from the outside wouldn't know but there was a dark underside to Ponyville. He had been born here, he knew the secrets. He knew how the underside worked, what the etiquette was, and more importantly, who not to cross.

His name was Spike Cage, to those who knew him he was called Spike. He lived the fairy tale life like every other pony. To the outside world he was just a baby dragon who lived with a unicorn with Twilight Sparkle. That was his cover, no one would think that a baby pet dragon would deal in his kind of work. It seemed like the perfect cover.

Only a few people knew Spikes job as a private detective. Clients would pay him to snoop on various people and gather information. He specialized in missing people. Clients would hire him to find somebody. Most of the time it was family members looking for their missing relatives; those usually lost to the darkside of the town. Half of the time Spike would find them dead. The underside of Ponyville took no prisoners.

He had been doing it for years after leaving the police. He had seen plenty of corpses, not all of them pretty. Once he had found one pony's head about a mile away from her body. He had to use his gun a couple of times, he didn’t know how many ponies he had seen die. It was all the death he had seen that drove him to drinking. He can’t remember the last time he was completely sober.

Spike thought about his life as he sat at his desk. The clock said 3am but the empty bottles on his desk told a different story. The shades were drawn closed and the only light came from his desk lamp.Spike rested his head on his hand, and a tall glass of scotch in the other. He took a long sip and sighed. it had happened again. Another crying pony had come into his office wanting him to find her husband. Apparently they were deep in debt and she thought he had run off. Spike knew that the poor bastard had gotten involved with the wrong people. He probably wanted to make a couple extra bucks but in the end he got burned. But Spike would only get paid for when he found the guy, alive or not.

He took another drink, he wondered how his life got to this. Looking for missing people everyday only to find them dead. He leaned back in his seat looking up at the ceiling. When would it end? He sat there for a while until he noticed something pressing on his side under his coat. He pulled out his gun and set on the desk near the bottle. He hated carrying that thing around but he needed it to stay alive.

The room was silent until there was a small knocking on the door. Spike took another drink before yelling “What the hell do you want?!” The knob turned and Twilight walked in looking scared. Spike looked at her then turned back to his desk. “Yeah what is it?” he asked impatiently. Most of the time when Twilight came into his room she wanted him to help with another bullshit magic trick and he definitely wasn’t in the mood. “Spike,” Twilight said slowly moving forward, “I need you to look at something.” Spike gave a sarcastic laugh, “Of course you do, why don’t you bother someone else?” Twilight picked up a bottle and put it on the shelf. “Please spike, I really need to talk to you.” She pressed. Spike took a long drink before looking over his shoulder to give the unicorn a cold glare. “Go talk with your precious friends.” Twilight hated when Spike was like this. She stomped her hoof on the ground and glared at him, “Well maybe I could if I didn’t have to look out for you!” she yelled, “Your drinking is why you got kicked out of the police!”

Spike got up from his chair and faced Twilight clutching his fist, “You want to know why I was kicked out of the police bitch?!” He yelled. Whenever anypony talked about his time at the police it struck a nerve, “It was because I didn’t play by the rules!” Twilight cringed, dreading the tirade to come. “Those bastards only protected themselves! Do you know what its like the first time you find a decapitated pony in the woods?! They didn’t care! They just shoved it in a bag and left!” Twilight had heard him rant about how the police were corrupt many times and she had gotten tired of it. “You know what Spike?! You joined to protect ponyville and justice! You just gave up because you were too weak to follow through!”

Before Spike knew what he was doing he grabbed an empty bottle of the desk and flung it at Twilight. He couldn’t see straight so the bottle smashed against the wall. Twilight looked from where the bottle landed to Spike. She needed to talk with him but he was too drunk so without another word she turned around and left.

Spike watched her leave and just as she shut the door he screamed “You want justice?! There’s no justice in Equestria!” He wasn’t sure if she had heard but he didn’t care. He went back to the desk and leaned back in his chair. His head was throbbing and all he wanted was to have some quiet. He grabbed his glass of scotch and clinked it against the bottle. It was a toast for all the bullshit he had accomplished over his life. He finished the glass in one swig.

Chapter 2: Dear Princess

The morning sun shining through the blinds woke Spike the next morning. After a few moments letting his mind start up he grabbed his head and groaned. He didn’t know how much he drank last night but it was taking its toll on him. He realized that he had fallen asleep right there at the desk. He looked around the office, it was the same as last night. Giving another groan Spike got to his feet and stretched his sore muscles. He wasn’t looking forward to working today, he wished that he could just blow off his client and sleep in; but he wasn’t paid to sleep.

Spike grabbed his trench coat from a hook on the wall and the torso holster from the shelf. He would get dressed downstairs after he got something to help him with this hangover. He just wanted to get out that room, the whole place smelled like booze and sweat. He grabbed the handle to the door when he noticed he was missing something. He looked back at his desk and saw his gun sitting there where he left it. Sighing spike walked over and tucked it back into the holster where it belonged. Once, Just once he wished that he didn’t have to take it with him.

Spike walked down the stairs shielding his eyes from the bright lights, why the hell did they have to be so bright? “God damn this sucks.” he mumbled rubbing his head. He hadn’t felt this bad since he got into a drinking contest with Cheerilee. Teacher or not, that bitch knew how to drink.

As he walked into the main room he looked around. Nothing out of the ordinary. He saw Twilight by the desk. She was probably writing another one of her stupid letters about friendship. Spike wondered if she was still moody after last night. Spike felt like shit when he thought about throwing that bottle, he didn’t mean to it just sort of happened.

He had reached the bottom of the stairs when he noticed it. Twilight was sleeping at her desk, her head on the table facing away. Spike smiled to himself, she probably stayed up all night writing another letter to the Princess. Spike never knew why she wrote so many freaking letters. Spike walked over to Twilight putting on his holster.

He shook Twilights shoulder, “Come on wake up.” Twilight didn’t move. “Stop being lazy and go learn about friendship dammit.” Spike said still shaking her shoulder. Still Twilight didn’t move. Spike gave up, if she wanted to sleep he didn’t care.

He was about to leave to go to the kitchen when he felt something on his foot. It felt like he stepped in some sort of liquid. He looked down and froze. His foot stood on the shore of a small pool of blood that was forming on the floor. A drop of blood fell from the edge of the desk and fell right in the middle of the pool. Spikes mind was blank, all he could do was look from the pool to Twilight. He slowly let go of her shoulder. Without taking his eyes off Twilight he walked around her. He nearly puked when he saw it.

Twilight was there, her face riddled with bullet holes. There was barely any skin left, all Spike could see was a horrible mess of bloody flesh and bone. All that could be seen was an eye covered by blood. It looked like somebody put a gun right to her face and went to town. Spike had seen some fucked up bodies in his life, but this. This was the worst. It looked like someone had shoved her face in a blender to make a nutritious yet disgusting Twilight Face Smoothie. Spike moved back quaking with fear and disgust. He couldn’t take his eyes of the carnage. The thing that looked like and eye seemed to be looking right at him.

He fell to his knees, She was dead. Twilight was dead. Maybe the last person in Ponyville who believed in him, now she was dead. A single thought ran through spikes mind as he stared at her, who murdered her? When Spike finally managed to take his eyes off the body he noticed something on the floor. It was a piece of parchment soaked by the puddle of blood on the floor. Spike inched forward and grabbed it making sure not to touch the blood.

A good part of the letter was impossible to read from the blood. The only parts Spike could make out was “Urgent, end impact,” and “-ments of Harmony”. It didn’t seem like one of Twilights usual letters, she mostly wrote about how friendship was magic or some crap like that. But whatever she was writing about it was important. At the top was written “Dear Princes-” the rest of the name was covered in blood. Spike knew it had to be for the princess. But what did Twilight want to tell her?

Spike’s train of thought stopped when he heard a loud thunk. Without thinking Spike grabbed his gun and turned to where the sound came from. He saw a figure run and duck behind a bookcase. Without hesitation Spike fired at the figure. He never hesitated, as he learned in the Great race war, the moment you hesitated you got a bullet in your skull.

The figure dodged the bullet and ducked behind a bookcase. Spike keeping his gun steady moved toward the figure. “Show yourself!” Spike yelled. There was no response. Spike crept forward ready to fire. The figure didn’t make a sound. Spike was just about to the bookcase when a low creaking sound made him stop. He looked up at the bookcase and saw it slowly tilting towards him. As books started to slide off the shelf and crash on the floor Spike ran and jumped. He knew that books were going to kill him one day but today wasn’t that day. Spike managed to get out of the way just as the bookcase crashed onto the ground. He quickly got to his feet and looked back. The figure was running towards the window as Spike started firing. The figure jumped through the window sending glass shards everywhere. Spike ran after it but by the time he got to the window the Figure had disappeared.

He slammed his fist against the wall yelling “Dammit!” He had let the suspect get away. It could've been the person who killed Twilight. He was about to yell again when something caught his eye. It was caught on the window sill. Spike carefully reached down and picked up a long pink strand of hair. He held it up to the light and examined it. It was definitely was from the figure who jumped out the window. It was a clue but not a very good one, plenty of ponies had pink hair.

Who ever it was the figure was long gone. Spike put his gun back into his holster and the hair carefully in the pocket of his coat. He turned away from the window and back to the library. The bookcase that the figure pushed had created a huge mess. He looked at Twilights body still at the desk. Just looking at it made Spike want to vomit. He wondered where to go from here. What should he do with the body? Should he call the police? He hated the thought of going to those bastards. Spike remembered when he was on the force, it was the famous Sweater Killer, when the first body was found . But maybe this time they would care. Twilight was a celebrity in Ponyville, they would have to care.

He decided that before calling them he could at least cover the body. He couldn’t stand looking at the body anymore. It was almost as disgusting as when Big Mac went through that cross-dressing phase. Spike looked around for something to cover the body, he picked up a small rug that would just be big enough. He went over to Twlights body trying not look at it. Before covering her he thought that he should at least say something. Twilight had raised him from birth, she was the closest thing he had to a parent.

He sighed sadly, “Twilight... You were always nice to me... Except that one time you tied me down in the basement and took pictures of me wearing that weird-”

Spikes was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. Spike jumped and looked to see who it was. “Police! We’re coming in!” said a pony outside. Before Spike could react the door was busted open and two burly Police ponies rushed in guns drawn. The police and Spike stood still, the two ponies looked from Spike to the bloody carnage that was Twilights face. Spike realized what the police were thinking. Since there were no black ponies to pin the crime on he knew that he had to get out of there.

The police moved closer “Put you hands up!” one yelled. Doing what the police instructed was a rule in Equestria, but there was one thing those police ponies forgot. Spike didn’t play by the rules. Before the police ponies could get close enough Spike ducted behind a bookcase, one of the cops shouted, “He’s resisting! Open fire!” Spike crouched as bullets slammed into the bookcase tearing through the books. Spike looked around for a way out before he got a bullet in his skull. He could shoot back but he wasn’t stupid enough to kill a cop. The police moved forward towards the bookcase trying to pin him down. Spike looked around and noticed the window that the figure had jumped out. He hated biting someone elses style but he was desperate like a fat guy trying to get laid.

Spike pushed up against the bookcase pushing it as hard as he could. The top slowly tipped forward and gravity took over the rest. The bookcase fell with a loud crash that shook the whole house. Spike looked and saw that it had fallen right on top of one of the ponies. “My legs are broken!” he screamed in pain, “And I was only a few days from retirement!” While the pony screamed in pain his partner tried to help him, Spike saw his chance and ran toward the window. As Spike lept out of the window frame he wished that there was glass there so make him look more badass. All he was really doing was jumping through a hole in the wall.

Spike crashed onto the street hard. Slowly getting up he felt a dull pain in his leg, he must of landed on it. Spike looked around as he heard the sound of sirens in the distance. It wouldn't take long before more police got there. Ignoring the pain in his leg he started running down the street wondering where he could go now. He needed to lay low where the police wouldn’t find him. He could only think of one spot but he hated the idea. The sound of police sirens getting closer reminded him that he didn’t have a choice. Twilight Sparkle was dead and he was going down for it. He just wished that she was the only one there.

Chapter 3: Pony of the Night

By the time he got there the sun was already setting. He didn’t know how but Spike had managed to avoid the police by moving through the dark that littered Ponyville. The police were everywhere looking for him and it would only be a matter of time until he was found. Spike hid behind a corner looking at the building. At first glance it just looked like a tailors, but he really knew what happened in there. Taking a quick check for any police Spike quickly walked over to the door. He tried the knob and found it unlocked. He went inside and quietly shut the door behind him. He peered out the window as a few cops walked by, Spike hoped they hadn’t seen him.

He looked around the room, dresses on mannequins were displayed all over the place. A television was on by the counter. It was the channel 4 news, the most trusted name in Ponyville news. Spike noticed a picture of Twilight in the corner of the screen. He walked over and turned up the volume. “We have just received word from the police that they are still looking for the suspect fleeing the scene of the crime.” The news pony announced with a grim look on his face. “The suspect is a small purple and green dragon wearing a brown trench coat. The dragon was seen by Twilight Sparkles body and wounded an officer while fleeing the scene. Twilight Sparkle, a local friendship addict, was killed earlier today from a fatal dose of too many bullets in the face. Her body wa-”

Spike turned off the television. He never liked the news. To Spike the news was just advertising, the didn't even report the pudding-pop murders until after they had caught the guy. It was now even worse as it was telling all of Ponyville that he was a murderer. He wondered if even if he caught Twilights true killer if it would be enough to clear his name. He considered growing a mustache and crossing the border. Then he remember the only way he could get a mustache was with Twlights magic and she was gone. Spike let out a low sigh, damn he missed those mustaches.

“Spike?” The dragon spun around to see a white unicorn standing on the stairs looking both confused and a little frightened. “What are you doing here Spike? The police came here asking if you i had seen you. Did you really... do it?” Spike knew if Rarity thought he murdered Twilight she would have called the cops. The had been close when Spike served during the Great Race War but after Spike avoided talking with her. But there time together during the war had put in an unbreakable sense of trust between the two.

“Rarity...” He sighed taking a step closer. She took a step back keeping her distance. He looked at her but she looked at the floor. “Rarity, I didn’t kill her. Why would I? She was the closest pony in my life” Spike told her. Rarity didn't look too convinced, “Well you have been hitting the bottle a lot lately... Maybe you were drunk.” Spike’s fist smashed against the wall, “I didn't fucking kill her Rarity!”

There was a long silence. Rarity looked scared and had retreated a few steps back. Spike, embarrassed by his outburst dropped his hand from the wall and sighed. “Sorry... I didn't mean to yell. Look Rarity, I wish I didn't but I need your help.” Spike pressed. Rarity’s face went from frightened to confused. “Me? What do you need with me?”

“I know you have a place to lay low from the cops Rarity.” Spike told her, “I need someplace to stay for a while. The cops are looking for me and I need to find out who killed Twilight.” Spike hated himself as he asked it. Watching Rarity started to sweat and tremble told Spike he was right on the money. “W-What in heaven are you talking about Spike?” She went on the defensive, “Why would I need to hide from the cops?”

She couldn’t look him in the eye. She knew that he knew what she did. And Spike knew that she knew what he knew. Not to mention that she knew that he knew what she knew about what he knew. It was so simple.

“Don’t make me say it Rarity. Everyone has their suspicions, it’s not hard to find it out.” Spike told her taking a step closer while she took a step back. Realizing that he knew her secret made Rarity panic, “Look Spike! If all you're going to do is imply that I’m some sort of criminal then get out!” she yelled pointing to the door. “Rarity! Listen to me dammit!” Spike yelled back. Rarity ignored him and kept screaming for him to leave. Spike stood his ground and shouted “I don’t care that you're a prostitute Rarity!”

The room fell silent. Rarity looked taken back and Spike couldn’t believe he had just shouted it. It was a lie of course, he did care that she was a prostitute but this was the first time he had ever confronted her about it.

“W-w-what makes you think I’m a?” Rarity stammered retreating back up the stairs. She looked around for anything that could help but there was nothing. “Where is your proof Spike? I make dresses for a living!” He put his hand on his forehead, he really didn’t want to say it but there was no turning back now. At least all the hours playing Ace Attorney was going to come in use. “I’m not a whore! I’m a seamstress!” Rarity shouted at him.

“OBJECTION!” Spike yelled it as loud as he could pointing his finger right at her. “Your testimony is a total lie! You don’t sell dresses because!...” Spike smashed his fist against the wall for dramatic effect, “NO ONE IN PONYVILLE EVER WEARS CLOTHES!”

Raritys heart throbbed. She had never thought about that. “No one wears clothes so that means no one buys anything from you!” Spike was totally in the zone. “That means the only way you can make a living is by being a whore!” Her testimony had been torn apart and Spike had her trapped in a corner of logic.

Rarity couldn’t say anything. Spike had found her out and there was no denying it anymore. Her legs gave out and she fell collapsed onto the stairs. Spike ran to her aid but she pushed him away. “Oh god Spike. Why did you have to come here? You should have just left town.” she said pushing a tear out of her eye. “Rarity,” he sighed, “I’m sorry about what I said. But the police think I killed Twilight. I need to find who really killed her.”

Rarity looked up at him with teary eyes. Spike couldn’t remember the last time they had been this close to each other. “Then what Spike?” She asked. “What happens when you find the killer?” Spike could feel the weight of his holster on his shoulders. He hand reached to his side and patted his gun. “I’ll make sure that they get what's coming to them.”

They stood there for a little longer. Neither Spike or Rarity said a word. Rarity tried to hold back tears, what she did doing the night was supposed to be her shameful secret. She never thought she would turned to having sex for money, it was just that she came to Ponyville to start a career in fashion. How was she supposed to now everyone was naked all the time? Hawt

Cool people know not to overstay their welcome and Spike was one of those cool guys. He got up without another word and moved to the door. “Wait...” Rarity whispered. Spike turned to face her. “Up the stairs... In my room behind the bookcase. There’s a small room.... The police won’t find you... You can stay there for just tonight.”

“Thanks.” Spike said going up the stairs. He passed Rarity who was still sitting on a step. He has done enough damage and he just wanted to sleep. As Spike walked up to the second story he wondered if they would ever be the same way again. Spike was smart enough not to fall in love with a prostitute but there was something different with Rarity. There were hundreds of whores in Ponyville but with Rarity, there was an innocence with her. She didn’t know about the dark underside when she came to Ponyville. She was just a victim of the underworld that affected everyones lives. She was the same as Spike.

As Spike approached the bedroom door he heard Rarity call from the stairs, “Don’t look in any of the drawers!” Spike was smart enough to take her advice.

Next: Sweet Sweet Death