I have done a couple of exchanges, and always mentioned in some offhand way that I like blue rabbits. I didn't want to explain why, didn't want them to feel obligated, but I really wanted a blue rabbit and it was important that it come from someone else, that it be a gift.

My abusive mother threw out almost all of my stuffed toys one day when I was maybe 7, because I wet the bed and ruined them. There was a floppy tiger, a huge flat turtle, a Piglet, and a fat little blue rabbit. She made me look out the window at the garbage bag full of my animals, out there by the road. I was scared they couldn't breathe and I was so sorry I ruined them. The garbage truck took them away.

I got a blue rabbit today and it is so intensely perfect I can't even tell you. Perfect. Miss Mandyrad the Wonderful Reddit Girl Who I Love Now made me a blue rabbit and she said it was her first attempt ever at sewing. And he is all derpy and wonderful and soft and she said she gave him a hug and he smells nice which is important, and I love him.

She put lots of thought into books and things too. This girl did some research and I can just see her getting excited, thinking of just the right things. I got a book called The Alchemist which my therapist once recommended to me and I never got it. I got a huge "science-y" book which I love and I don't want to go to work tonight because I want to read it NOW, it is called "Godel Escher Bach".

I got The Portable Nietzschke which I had to look at to spell it right (always did have trouble with 'portable') and the classic 'How To Win Friends And Influence People' which I have never actually read.

And fruity snacks which won't hurt my diet. I love fruity things.

This was just one home run after another and I am amazed. I am happy. I feel...cared for. I feel fuzzy. I feel deeply sad inside, a welling of old sorrow coming out but it is good, it is needed. I love Mr. Flerpy. He is Mr. Flerpy and he tells me that Tiger and Flat Turtle and Piglet are fine, they ended up in some kids house and they are fine.

Thank you so incredibly much. I don't have a camera myself and I could only get one shot before my friend had to run off to work but if I can add more later I will. Thank you Miss Mandyrad thank you a lot thank you. You healed a wound older than you are.