Is this the best job in the world? MajorPlayers, a marketing recruitment consultancy, is advertising for a "Social Media Reporter", which will "give you the opportunity to report and manage the global social media activity for a huge football star… creating and sharing updates via social media channels including Facebook and Twitter" for a salary of £35,000 – £45,000.

Yes, you could have been paid £45,000 to be someone's Twitter butler.

The requirements are arduous — but not that arduous:

You need to keep the community in touch with the player during the playing season, as well as off season, with both on and off the pitch related content. You should have proven skills in social media and community management and development or solid skills in content and social journalism. Since you need to engage credibly with this sporting community, an excellent knowledge of football and a clear passion for the sport will be a distinct advantage. You must be bilingual with excellent writing and grammar in both Spanish and English and be happy to travel every week – usually to away games within Europe but sometimes further afield.

The job is based in Barcelona, which gives some hint as to who you might be ghosting. But could you really get in the head of Messi or Puyol?

Sadly, you'll never be able to find out: the position has already been filled. If someone's Twitter feed suddenly gets much more eloquent and bilingual shortly, we know who to blame…