Photograph by Carlos Osorio / Toronto Star via Getty

Dear Bernie,

Because I, more than anyone, understand the constant stress that comes with a modern political campaign, I wanted to reach out with some helpful tips. First, and this might be most important, to emerge as your party’s leader and then to defeat the Republicans, you'll have to listen to the people. Not a revelatory concept, I know, but you'd be amazed at how few politicians actually do it. I've learned that just listening can make all the difference.

Next, and this word is crucial: empathy. If you listen, but can't empathize—well, you're going to have a hard time implementing positive change. Now, while you're listening, and being empathetic, if someone wants to take a photo with you, so that they can post it online, maybe with a caption about your very symmetrical face, I say suck it up and go for it. All campaigns are full of surprises, and to come out on top you'll have to roll with the punches.

Expect anything! You might be fully prepared to talk about a proposed tax increase on the wealthiest, but instead find yourself asked to parse your "implausible good looks." You just never really know what questions will be lobbed at you by your constituents, or why.

Which leads me to another point: policy. You have to listen, of course, and you have to be empathetic and prepared for surprises, but, at the end of the day, you still need to have a firm grasp on domestic and foreign policy.

Contention can arise from an issue as innocuous as, say, un-airbrushed shirtless photos floating around the Internet that show off your chiselled body to millions of people. I'm not here to make any insane allegations, like that these photos aren't accurate representations of reality, because, yes, they absolutely are. There are no filters, no tricks of the camera. That's just me. With my shirt off. That's literally what I look like, not just in photographs.

But don't forget, I also pledged a ton of money to infrastructure, and before people were liking those photos on Facebook, I'd already outlined my strategy in plain English. That's the point. I can't stress this enough: avoid political jargon. Don't needlessly inflate your vocabulary or dumb it down too much.

The next tip should be self-explanatory. You need a thick skin. That's why so many people just aren't cut out for public life. To have to endure, day after day, week after week, month after month, mobs of reporters; to put up with articles and essays and think pieces, not just from your own country but from all over the world, proclaiming how "sexy" you are—although accurate, it's all quite wearisome.

Consider it from my perspective: you spend years preparing for a federal election, you defeat the once powerful Conservatives, and then, instead of getting to defend your voting record in Parliament, or explain why modest government spending isn't the worst evil, all you read and hear about is how you're the best-looking world leader, probably in history.

Essentially, what I want you to understand is that you're not going to have complete control over the narrative that gets written about you and your administration.

Remarking on my height and calling my hair "lush" and "gorgeous," as some have repeatedly done, is flattering, sure, and not incorrect. But I've also really, really worked on my empathy. I'm the elected leader of a G8 country! Canada is one of the wealthiest nations in the world! There has to be more to a leader of this stature than genuinely stunning physical characteristics.

But listen: at this point, even if an interviewer wants to spend a few minutes, or longer, pointing out, interpreting, and panegyrizing my undeniable physical appeal, I'm not going to sulk or storm away. Earmark this: leadership requires patience.

Take the high road, is what I'm getting at, Bernie. This is 2016, and personal questions, even superficial ones, are fair game. Be willing to talk about the environment and pipelines, but don't freak out when the conversation inevitably takes a turn to one of those discouraging but sincere questions you're bound to face, on the topic of your uncommon beauty.

For better or worse, this is modern politics, and it's the life we've signed up for.

Your northern neighbor,

Justin Trudeau