Over the last couple of weeks, I’ve had more and more people ask me about this so I’m just going to come right out and say it.

In 2011, I was arrested for aggravated assault on a police officer. The events of that day are the single greatest regrets of my life. In 2011, I was two years removed from being meritoriously promoted to my rank of Staff Sergeant. My career in the Marine Corps was at its all-time high. I was the lead instructor at the military dog school at Lackland Air Force Base. Everything was going great.

I had been married to my wife for about 3 years and we were happy then just like we are happy now.

On a weekend, we decided to go to the river with some friends. I drank entirely too much. While we were on the banks of the river, a cop approached my wife and I and told us that we were on private property. The details of this entire exchange are dumb but it basically boils down to the fact that I had drunkenly lost my flip flops in the water and was using the bank to make it easier to spot them. We failed to follow the police officer’s instructions to get into the water so he verbally told us that he was placing us under arrest. When he put his hands on my wife, I hit him. I was drunk. I didn’t think about it. I reacted. Once I hit him, we engaged and I had him in a headlock.

The next thing I knew, I woke up in jail in a cell by myself. I thought that I had gotten arrested for DUI. When I was booked into jail, I was told that my bond was 125 thousand dollars. I had to pay 12.5k to get out of jail on bond. I had lawyer fees, court costs, and a bunch of other shit to take care of as well. I was also still on active duty. I knew my career was over, and my charges carried 5 years to the possibility of 99 years in prison.

I’ve been embarrassed about my real name for a long time. I felt ashamed about what I did. I still do. I still feel awful that someone got a call that their loved one was in the hospital because of my actions. I still feel terrible about that.

In my Marine Corps days, I was a military police officer. The last thing I would have intended to do was hurt another cop. I was one. I had a federal badge in my wallet the day I was arrested.

On Zero Blog Thirty, I talk openly and honestly about PTSD and its effect on people. After I got arrested, I started more treatment. I had gone to some treatment before everything happened, but my command made me go multiple times a week. My command and the court system were both lenient to me beyond a measure that I deserved. I still don’t and haven’t talked about what happened because I’m embarrassed and ashamed.

I still go to jail on holiday weekends and will for the foreseeable future. So, if you google my name and see multiple arrests, that’s why. Part of my plea agreement was to serve 45 days over the course of holiday weekends like Memorial Day or 4th of July. So when you see multiple arrests, each time I turn myself in for those weekends, that counts as a new arrest.?

I could write 10 thousand more words about this and the effects that it?s had on my life, my wife?s life, and the police officer?s life, but I don?t think this topic is best served in a simple blog. I want to talk about all of it with you guys openly because I love the audience I?ve grown and understand some of you may not be a fan of me anymore, which is well within your right. I want to talk about my remorse, my PTSD, how regretful I am, how I still pay for this mistake every single day of my life, and I plan on doing that on this weeks ZBT so you can all better understand.

It’s been 6 years since this all happened and I replay it in my mind all the time. Each time, I wish that I would have done something different. The main thing that I would have done differently, other than ever putting my hands on an officer, is getting treated for PTSD sooner. It’s still something that I struggle with and probably will for the rest of my life. If you’re in the same boat, get some help. It’s a terrible thing to be embarrassed by your real name because of your reckless actions.