Caller: “I want to know why my gas bill is so high.”

Me: “Okay, well, looking at your account history I can see we have billed you accurate readings which show very high daily consumption. How many hours is your central heating in use per day?”

Caller: “I never use my heating since my boiler started smelling of gas.”

Me: “It sounds like you may have a gas leak in the property. I need you to call the gas emergency helpline as soon as you finish this call. Please extinguish any naked flames and try to turn off your electrical appliances if it is safe to do so.”

Caller: “Is the leak causing my high bill?”

Me: “How long have you been smelling gas?”

Caller: “About five months.”

Me: “Sir, that is a very dangerous amount of time to leave a gas leak unattended. Why did you not query this earlier?”

Caller: “It didn’t seem important.”

Me: “I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to call the emergency helpline straight away.”

Caller: “Can’t we talk about my bill first?”

This story is part of our “Customers so stupid they should not be alive” roundup!

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Read the “Customers so stupid they should not be alive” roundup!