GLACE BAY, NS – Premier Stephen McNeil marked his narrow Liberal majority victory by announcing a local ER would be closing for the next three to six weeks.

Closing an ER in Cape Breton – scheduled and unscheduled – has been a longheld Nova Scotia government tradition that can be traced back to 1876 when Premier William Annand ordered a hospital closed to repurpose the land. Since then, every winning political party has celebrated by closing an emergency health facility.

“In recognition for all the sacrifices made to balance the budget, I’m giving all doctors, nurses, and patients in the waiting room some much needed time off,” declared McNeil to his supporters in a victory speech last night. “Together, we can make Nova Scotia closed again.”

McNeil is expected to formally close the ER at Glace Bay Hospital by placing a large novelty lock on the door in a ceremony later today.