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The Sad Saga of Sarah's Stalker

From: WretchAwry <vickie@pilot.njin.net>

Date: Tue, 24 Jan 95 9:00:48 EST

Subject: The Sad Saga of Sarah's Stalker

To: ecto.;@pilot.njin.net

Cc: kate.;@pilot.njin.net

Loves: Kate Bush..Happy Rhodes..Jane Siberry..Tori Amos..Peter Gabriel..



A few months ago I said I'd keep people updated on the story of the Sarah McLachlan "Possession" case. I was hoping to pass along the news that the case had been dropped. Well, the case has been dropped, but not for the reason I would have wanted it to be dropped. It's a sad story, and my heart is hurting, for Uwe, and for Sarah. This originally appeared in the newsgroup alt.music.s-mclachlan, and was then sent to the mailing list FTE. Vickie -------------------------------------------------------------- Newsgroups: alt.music.s-mclachlan From: ab142@FreeNet.Carleton.CA (James Hrynyshyn) Subject: OTTAWA X PRESS ARTICLE: Object of Obsession Sender: ab142@freenet.carleton.ca (James Hrynyshyn) Organization: The National Capital FreeNet Date: Mon, 23 Jan 1995 13:26:37 GMT Lines: 197 The Ottawa X Press story on Uwe Vandrei. It appeared jan. 18. Ottawa X Press is an alternative weekly news and entertainment magazine and can be reached at xpress@freenet.carleton.ca. A web site is in the works. Object of Obsession Oh Sarah, Will I ever hold you on that shore? Or only live it in a dream? Will I ever tell you of my fears? Will you ever collect my tear? Uwe Vandrei Letters to Sarah, 1992 And I would be the one to hold you down, Kiss you so hard. I'll take your breath away And after I wipe away your tears Just close your eyes dear. Sarah McLachlan "Possession," 1994 by Jane Tattersall and James Hrynyshyn Few people noticed Uwe Vandrei's disappearance last fall. His neighbors on Vanier's Barrette Street most often described him as a loner. Only the chance discovery in November of his truck parked in the Manotick woods, his decomposing body inside brought to light the end of his tragic life. And yet Vandrei was not an entirely unknown quantity. Those that did know him at all could point to the source of his pain. But who could have predicted his love for Vancouver singer Sarah McLachlan would drive him to suicide? Vandrei's obsession with McLachlan is not the first time a fan has gone over the edge. Indeed, the list of crazed fans is a long one. David Letterman has one. Jodie Foster has one who's also a failed presidential assassin. Even some Ottawa musicians have been confronted with over-enthusiastic admirers. They're inevitable. But there's little anyone can do to help them and Vandrei's case is a perfect example of why. Carey Stevens, an Ottawa psychologist who deals with obsessive-compulsive behavior, says fixations of any kind usually arise to fill a gap in someone's life. If the problem is smoking or nail-biting, it can be treated through behavioral modification, says Stevens. As long as they're a good reason to quit, the patient can. Fixating on a media star, however, is more difficult to treat because there's no obvious incentive to giving it up. Its origins are also more mysterious. "I don't know of a client who's been able to say, This is why I do it.' It's something that gradually forms," says Stevens. "I don't think they understand - and I really believe they're telling the truth." Perhaps Vandrei needed an intellectual and emotional partner. For some reason, he couldn't find one here and turned to McLachlan instead. Other obsessed fans have followed the same path. Many of those who's tactics have ended up as fodder for the popular press have resorted to gruesome or outrageous strategies. But Vandrei's story does not include dead animals or body parts mailed to the star. There are no threats, no signs of violence or otherwise dangerous behavior, just letters. Lots of letters. And a bizarre lawsuit asking for $250,000 and credit for supplying the material that he claimed McLachlan used as the basis for her song about an obsessed fan, "Possession." Oh into the sea of waking dreams I follow without pride CAUSE nothing stands between us here And I won't be denied. -- S. McLachlan "Possession," 1994 As do many obsessed fans, Vandrei kept to himself. "We never saw him with anybody or saw anybody at his house. He spoke with my roommate once about the court case, but that was pretty much it," says next-door neighbor James Buchanan. Buchanan says Vandrei's home was well-stocked with computer equipment, and that the computer engineer was a well-known presence on several Internet newsgroups. (Psychologist Stevens says many obsessive loners are turning to the Internet to find some sort of social fulfillment.) In his basement he kept stacks of books and journals with titles like "Poems" and "Songs." But he didn't appear to have a social life in the physical sense. Details of his life -- his age, birthplace, family -- are hard to come by. His former landlord contacted Vandrei's family after his death and promised to pass on a request for an X Press interview, but the family has yet to respond. Buchanan says he and his roommate only noticed Vandrei's absence when junk mail started piling up outside his door. "We were cleaning it up for him. Then his bike got knocked over in the driveway and he didn't pick it up. It just sat on its side for days. That made us start to wonder." Even the building manager saw little of the man. He paid his rent on the apartment he lived in for three years with post-dated cheques. According to the manager, he told people in September just before he disappeared that he was going to Vancouver, which is where McLachlan is based. She described him as "a nice, friendly guy. He was incredibly intelligent, but misguided. There was no question in his mind that she [McLachlan] was as much in love with him as he was with her." Let me repeat the lessons that you may not have learned well. Time and distance are IRRELEVANT! I am absorbed by, bound to you and I can wait a year, a decade, a lifetime. I will still be there, cherishing, contemplating, waiting. -- U. Vandrei Letters to Sarah, Other neighbors tell of meeting Vandrei on the street and immediately finding themselves involved in a mostly one-sided conversation of the merits of McLachlan's music. It was clear he was obsessed. His letters, the ones he sent to McLachlan over the space of more than two years, paint a picture of a lonely man who had nothing to live for beyond the slim hope of recognition from his idol. In one, he compares his life to the frozen Rideau River waterfalls, "except that spring is certain to come and my winter is eternal." So desperate was he for McLachlan's attention that he thought nothing of exposing his obsession to public scrutiny. He launched the lawsuit last September, then he sent copies of his letters to CKCU radio. All that mattered was reaching the siren of his dreams. Such behavior may sound irrational, but to an obsessed fan it makes sense. Police have come across similar patterns in stalkers, men who pursue women relentlessly. As an American detective told Details magazine two years ago, going to court is "like going on a date - he gets to be in the same room as her, gets to talk at her if not to her, learns new details about her life." Rodney Murphy, a Carleton University student who met Vandrei at a McLachlan concert in December, 1993, spent several hours talking with him. "He kept talking about how little faith he had in humanity," Murphy recalls. "The court case wasn't about money. He didn't need it. He was very well off. All he wanted to do was meet her. He was in love with her music, her whole persona." Nevertheless, Murphy felt it was for the best that Vandrei never actually meet his idol. "He wasn't at all violent or hostile, but he truly believed everything he told me. He couldn't see things straight. Meeting her would have made the whole scheme even more real to him." Oh you speak to me in riddles And you speak to me in rhyme. My body aches to breathe your breath, Your words keep me alive -- S. McLachlan "Possession," 1994 McLachlan has always portrayed herself in her songs and videos as a mythic, remote figure. Through her management agency, she declined to talk about the affair, but in an interview on MuchMusic she described herself as a "sucker for tragic romance." The image she has constructed has attracted more than one obsessive fan. In March of 1994 a restraining order was issued against a fan who moved to Vancouver to be near the singer. But even if Vandrei wasn't the most troublesome fan, his death shows he was the most troubled. All these years your music kept me warm in that winter. You warm me so, and we have not even met yet! -- U. Vandrei Letters to Sarah, 1992 -30- -- ----------- James Hrynyshyn *** ab142@freenet.carleton.ca Centretown, Ottawa, Ontario, Canada (613) 235-9465 *** News Editor, Ottawa X Press