A guest blog by Johnny Dinosaur of Stoneage Solutions.

The problem with recruiters…

The problem with recruiters, is that they call too much. They want me to give up my time to describe exactly what we’re looking for here at Stoneage Solutions so they can apparently be best placed to help me fill my open positions. Some even request to come and meet me. Hiring great people is clearly our number one objective, but I haven’t got 20 minutes to speak to a recruiter about our intricate wants and needs and certainly can’t give up my time to show them around the office. Surely they can just use the job description I wrote 3 years ago. It’s always worked for us before, we’ve hired 2 people into that role in the last 3 years with only 85 interviews. The level of thoroughness or attention to detail towards our company's objectives and requirements is simply not required, it’s unnecessary and a waste of my time. Golden rule #1, recruiters will waste your time.

The problem with recruiters is that they ask me for feedback on interviews that have been unsuccessful. Yes I know people have taken days off work, travelled some distance, bought a new suit and invested time to meet me but do they really think I have the time to take two minutes to provide feedback on that interview. Does that person at the other end of my desk really deserve a reason why I’ve deemed him unemployable? I just don’t have the time, I’m too important. The problem with recruiters is they can’t handle the awkward candidate conversation with lack of feedback and clarity, which invariably gives them personally and the industry a bad name. Hiring great people is clearly always our number one objective, but we don’t care about the experience our candidates receive during the process or the image it portrays. As we all know full well, candidates never talk to each other, especially not their colleagues or friends.

The problem with recruiters is that they want to negotiate on salary. Baffling. As mentioned, hiring great people is our number one priority but the objective is to try and hire someone for as little salary as possible, at their bread line if you can. People are our most important asset of course, but I keep motivation high by offering lower than they can possibly live on to motivate them to do a good job and earn more, especially if the candidate has no option but to accept. I don’t care if that’s the market rate Mr Recruiter, I don’t care if his current salary is higher, I don’t care if that’s what you presented his application at originally and I don’t care if he has other offers at considerably higher, because this is his ‘value to us’. So if a packet of smokey bacon crisps and a pork pie isn’t enough for him, then we’re happy to lose him. I’m comfortable with the time investment everyone has made, and I also don’t have to pay you.

The problem with recruiters is that it is what it is. It is what it is, because it is what it is, and it isn’t what it isn’t. Such a great saying. It just is what it is. Recruiters never seem to quite grasp the meaning of the term. I love the phrase because it can pretty much be used in every single scenario to justify everything, without needing to actually justify anything. It is what it is, now let's move on. Yes I cancelled the interview 10 minutes before it was due to happen, yes the candidate has flown in from Canada for the day, but it is what it is, now stop calling me because the recruiter is clearly the problem here.

The problem with recruiters is that they want me to sell our opportunity to the individual. Me? Sell the role? To the candidate? Utterly bonkers. I don’t care how 'competitive the market is', if the candidate isn’t salivating at the prospect of working for Stoneage Solutions then he’s not the right person for us anyway. This is an interview, the candidate must expect a grilling and nothing less. Hiring great people is our number one priority, but we want the right people who want to work for Stoneage Solutions. If they’re not impressed with me, and the way I’m going to put them through the grinder for 4 hours without a drink or a toilet break, then they probably aren’t right for us anyway.

The problem with recruiters is their problem with other recruiters. For some reason recruiters aren’t motivated when I invite 50 of them to compete on recruiting the same role for us, knowing that actually only one of them will get paid. We’re after speed, not quality. This two way partnership recruiters speak of is overrated. Yes they're at the very front line of our quest for great people, but 50 demoralised recruiters armed with no information is clearly better than 1 motivated recruiter fully loaded with knowledge. I also heard this crazy notion once about paying a recruiter upfront to help us hire people. How ridiculous, I know people are our greatest asset and number one objective, and I know we pay for almost literally every other service we use up front, but paying a recruiter up front, to guarantee us great people, how bizarre.

The problem with recruiters is that they turn up to industry events. Looking to improve their knowledge in MY sector at MY events. Clearly like everyone else I complain they don’t understand the technology enough, but I also don’t want them making an effort to learn, at events I am also attending. Yes, a percentage of events are actually run by recruiters, but they shouldn’t attend, even to their own. The problem with recruiters is they don’t make enough effort to learn, but the problem with recruiters is I don’t want them making an effort to learn.

The problem with recruiters is that they want to advise me on process. I may have mentioned our number one objective is to hire great people, but this is our process, this is the way we do things and we have a long history of hiring great people. As I mentioned, I’ve hired two people in the last 3 years and also helped my friend get a job at Tesco once. I’m pretty much a recruiter myself. I’ve no interest in using their professional experience to advise, consult and guide us to hiring great people, although as stated many times we’re completely committed to hiring great people. I’m looking for CV shifters only, I have no time for a consultative recruiter. Johnny Dinosaur knows more about everything, than any of these pointy shoed tossers.

The problem with recruiters is that recruitment is broken. I’m not entirely sure what that means exactly but I saw it on LinkedIn once and agree.

The problem with recruiters is.. I could continue on all day with this. In summary, if you’re as serious as hiring great people as I am, make sure you take note of the above, don’t let recruiters waste your time with their thoroughness and expertise. Choose a recruiter who will not work hard to understand you, who will not advise you, and who will agree with everything you say. After all, the customer is always right.

Hope you enjoyed reading. And we’re hiring!

All the best,

Johnny Dinosaur, CEO at Stoneage Solutions

***Ps: If you’re fed up with working with Johnny Dinosaur and his prehistoric friends, and want to work with companies who approach recruitment and agency relationships very very differently, then we’re hiring consultants at LinuxRecruit (and there won't be a dinosaur client in sight...) https://www.hunted.com/companies/335/linuxrecruit







