Last night, Jon Stewart looked at how happy Fox News is with the recent news about Benghazi, the IRS, and the DOJ. And while they had a point, Jon called out a few of those who were suddenly piping up to talk about the scandals.



DONALD RUMSFELD (5/14/2013): I can't imagine how a person could stand up there, when everyone involved knew it was a terrorist attack. ... The idea that it was somehow related to a YouTube video and that that narrative kept being promoted, I suppose, it's because it fit their hopes and what they wanted to be the case.

You believe the Obama administration's promoting a narrative? Not because it's real, but because it fits their hopes and what they want to be the case? You? Señor W.M.D. McGillicutty, Esq.? The guy who wanted to go after Saddam Hussein on 9/11 while the President was still reading "My Pet Goat"? You??

And somehow managed to make that attack happen, even though Saddam Hussein had nothing to do with 9/11? "Rumsfeld" is German for promoting a narrative because it fits your hopes and what you want to be the case! (audience laughter and applause) It is the rare German word that is actually shorter than the thing it is describing.

....



DICK CHENEY (5/13/2013): I think it's one of the worst incidents that's frankly, that I can recall in my career. ... They claimed it was because of a demonstration video, so they wouldn't have to admit it was really all about their incompetence. ... They lied.

You do not get to use the "L" word. In fact, you don't even get to watch The L Word. Dick. Which I can call you, because that's your name.

After the lies you told, you don't get to doubt anyone's credibility. If a baseball breaks your window, and your grandkid walks through the door with a baseball bat, and tells you that Zack and Cody from The Suite Life did it, while they were playing a game with SpongeBob, you just have to fucking choke that down! (wild audience cheering and applause)

Now listen to me! And listen close! All of these scandals could add up to very bad repercussions for the Obama administration. And many conservatives and Republicans are entitled to their moment of righteous schadenfreude. But guess what? History didn't start Friday. And Obama administration transgressions don't wipe away yours, which are many und grievous.

So, enjoy watching your friends have their fun, but Tweedledick and Tweedlerum don't get to join the party. (audience laughter and cheering)