Sez Me …

The holidays cometh.

It’s the most wonderful time of the year, a time, as another song goes, for wishin’ and hopin’ and plannin’ and dreamin’.

And spitballin’.


Why the hell not? Can’t get in any real trouble in Fantasyland. Perchance this is our chance to dream, too.

In any event, Jeff Bezos is interested in buying an NFL team.

Jeff Bezos. Amazon’s Jeff Bezos. The 1 or 2 Richest Man in the World Jeff Bezos.

Jeff Bezos is worth an estimated $112 billion. He can buy every NFL club, every NFL stadium and still have money to buy shoes off Zappos. He can buy the entire NFL and have it shipped to him on Prime in a day.


No franchise in The League currently has a For Sale sign in front of its facility. The Seahawks and Broncos, since the death of their owners, seem to be in various states of ownership confusion and eventually could be on the market.

But forget those teams. They’re solid. They sell out. They are not exasperating The League.

Jeff Bezos should pick up the tattered copy of The NFL Team That Used to Be Here. You know, the Judases, and seriously should look into purchasing the J’s and move them back here and get some San Diego land and build a new stadium and put everyone out of their misery.

Something wicked that way went. Something good can come back this way.


But not before Fredo sells the team. He made a staggering mistake moving, but he’s not much of a crow eater and certainly can’t devour enough bird on his own to move his Judases back to where they again can become the Chargers.

But he was not the only child of Alex and Faye Spanos. There are siblings, and I hear they may want out.

That thing about the franchise moving to London was poppycock and provided Fredo with a moment of denial to show off his vast street vocabulary.

But the NFL has had it and would love him to sell. The franchise is an embarrassment to The League. At the rate this team’s going, it’s not going to do any better as Lodgers in the new Inglewood digs than at Carson High.


But no team is coming here without a new stadium, and the 35,000-seat thing SDSU has planned won’t suit the pros. Even if it can be expanded, it won’t lift The League’s kilts, and I can see that. We’re thinking small, as usual.

San Diego needs a billionaire sugar daddy, and no one has more sugar than Daddy Jeff Bezos.

Forbes says the team is worth $2.5 billion (hardly what the Spanoses thought it would be). Bezos can dramatically overpay. Tip money for him, and turn it south.

I’m with Oscar Wilde. I can resist everything but temptation. Dream? Sure. Tempting? Definitely. ...


Myles Garrett-gate? He deserves what he got, and is fortunate he didn’t do serious bodily harm. Juan Marichal, who happens to be my favorite pitcher, beat Johnny Roseboro with a bat and was suspended for eight games (two starts). Today he might get life. …

Who instigated it? ...

I remember Ernie Ladd (6-9, 315) getting a helmetless player in a headlock and repeatedly punching him in the face. Don’t recall any discipline. …

Anthony Lynn took his Judases to Colorado Springs to acclimate them for Mexico City altitude. When Don Coryell coached in St. Louis, Cards had a game in Denver, so he practiced in Laramie. Got manhandled. …


I await Derwin James’ return. The League’s most versatile defender. Judases D again becomes The James Gang. …

There is no motive behind the NFL’s sudden Colin Kaepernick Pro Day. And Pearl Harbor was a whim. …

How long will it be before the NFL eliminates defenders punching at the ball, which has become too popular? Fifteen-yard penalty and loss of down. …

Stink O’ The Week Sezment: The Call of the Wild. MNF’s Joe Tessitore, I’m sure, is the guy who called the Hindenburg Disaster. I expect “Oh, the humanity!” on every play. …


The Judases, doing a bad job trying not to tank, have won two more games than the Dolphins, who supposedly are trying. …

Offensive offensive lines have gotten to Philip Rivers and Jared Goff. …

From Rick Smith: Russell Wilson’s dad, Harry, a Dartmouth grad and undrafted receiver, caught a TD pass for The NFL Team That Used To Be Here in a 1980 preseason game. …

Has Arizona’s Chandler Jones, on a bad team, been the NFL’s best defender? Possibly. …


I’m looking into the moves A.J. Preller made in the winter meetings and find all of them were in pickup basketball games. ...

Know why Clint Hurdle didn’t take the Padres’ hitting coach position? He didn’t want a job for a season or less. …

The first baseball player to steal a sign was Noah, tipped fastball weather was on the way. ...

It’s amazing how short-people trolls are down on Jayce Tingler because of his height, which is around 5-8, depending on foot callus thickness. John McGraw was 5-7. Nick Saban is 5-6. Frank Howard, who once managed the Pads (unsuccessfully), is 6-7. …


Brown unis came from original Padres owner C. Arnolt Smith. Everything he owned, including Westgate tuna fleet, was brown. …

If they wear brown camo jerseys, can players be easily seen? ...

Never will understand why, after Fernando Tatis went down, Manny Machado didn’t move to short. Nonsensical. …

Adam Vinatieri, the best, has kicked the figurative bucket. ...


Part of the Great North India Street Weed Forest has been cut down by loggers. Deforestation incomplete. Don’t know which Ham & Eggers bear responsibility for what remains, but I soon expect to be dodging tumbling tumbleweeds. …

These Aztecs cagers can throw the ball into Grand Canyon. …

SDSU football is liver eye candy. ...

Jeff Van Gundy: “Comparison is the thief of joy.” Brilliant. Kewpie doll for Jeff. …


Like it or not, we’re getting the ultimate lesson in civics. Pay attention. ...

“A nation does not have to be cruel to be tough.” — FDR. …

At the horrible rate we’re going, every kid in this country is going to be home-schooled.

