When you have a toxic father, you learn from a young age that you should never rely on a man to bring you peace, stability, and happiness. You decide that you are going to take care of yourself. You are going to make your own money. You are going to buy your own clothes. You are going to cook your own meals and fix your own car. If a man happens to enter the picture, it is going to be because you want him around, not because you need him in order to pay the rent next month.

When you have a toxic father, you learn how to create your own family. The people who you consider closest to you are not necessarily the ones who were there on the day of your birth. You spend holidays with friends. You reinvent the world family. You know that blood does not matter, because the people who mean the most to you are the people you have chosen to have in your world, not the people who you were stuck with due to genetics.

When you have a toxic father, you consider yourself a realist. You are not under the impression that those rom-com romances are authentic. You realize the real world is more messy. You do not have unrealistic expectations for love. In fact, love is not what gives your world meaning. You also have a strong focus on your career, on your goals, on your passions.

When you have a toxic father, you feel like you can handle anything the world throws at you. If someone treats you poorly, then you will stand up for yourself. You do not take anyone’s bullshit because you spent too many years feeling trapped and helpless. Now, you are free. You realize your worth. You are not a plaything. You are a human being and better be treated as such.

When you have a toxic father, you become independent. No one would be able to call you a damsel in distress. You are your own savior. You rarely ask for outside help because you do not need handouts. You do not need assistance. You are brave enough to walk through this world alone. You have all the tools you need.

When you have a toxic father, you understand the importance of distancing yourself. When someone treats you poorly, you do not allow them to remain in your world. You walk away. You decide that you deserve more. If you were able to distance yourself from a family member, then distancing yourself from a toxic ex is a walk in the park. It does not bother you in the least.

When you have a toxic father, you strive to be a better person than he was. You try to fix the pieces of yourself that remind you of him. You do not want to become him. You do not want to be anything like him. Your mission in life is to become someone you can be proud of, someone who does not resemble his daughter in any way.

By Holly Riordan for ThoughtCatalog