Makes 12 Zombies

Disclaimer: The PPK shall not be held responsible for any zombie transformations nor any injuries, losses, expenses, and damages that may occur as a result of zombie transformations while using this recipe. In rare instances, Zomberoni Pizza Faces have been known to bite back. Proceed at your own risk…

A horde approaches. All googly eyed, mouths agape, rotting teeth, and the stench! Oh, the stench! The stench is…it’s just so…wait. They actually smell pretty amazing! Like a pizza shop. But of course they do, they’re ZOMBERONI PIZZA FACES! Homemade pepperoni eyes, cashew cheeze sauce, pepper mouth and caper teeth. What’s not to love? Oh right, the fact that they will tear you from limb to limb leaving only a bloody oven mitt in the middle of the kitchen floor.

Watch this instructional video for some assembly help (keep the sound on, unless you’re at work, in which case you’ll be promptly be fired.)

Notes

~I make my own vegan pepperoni, but you can, of course, use store-bought. Sausages will work, too! ~I used baby bell peppers for the perfect sized mouths. If you can’t find any, just fashion together two rounded bell pepper slices to create the mouth. ~It’s really difficult to eff this up. I mean, how can you? It’s a zombie! But if you like, practice making pizza faces on a plate before going the whole way on the english muffin. ~Unfortunately, the most famous brand of English muffin is not vegan. SAD FACE! But there are plenty of wonderful vegan varieties out there. I actually used a nice healthy sprouted grain English muffin from Ezekiel bread and it tastes faboo. ~If you find yourself really wanting a kitchen project, you can even make your own English Muffins. There are a million recipes out there, and I have one in Vegan Brunch. (I’m sure if you google a bit you can find my recipe for free!) ~For time management purposes, make the pepperoni a day in advance and remember to soak your cashews overnight! These will come together in a flash.

Ingredients



1/2 cup cooked pinto beans, rinsed and drained

1 cup vegetable broth

1 tablespoon olive oil

1 tablespoon tomato paste

2 tablespoons soy sauce

1 1/4 cups vital wheat gluten

1/4 cup nutritional yeast

1 teaspoon granulated garlic

1 1/2 teaspoon anise seeds, crushed

1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes

1 tablespoon smoked paprika

Lots of fresh black pepper For the pepperoni eye sockets:1/2 cup cooked pinto beans, rinsed and drained1 cup vegetable broth1 tablespoon olive oil1 tablespoon tomato paste2 tablespoons soy sauce1 1/4 cups vital wheat gluten1/4 cup nutritional yeast1 teaspoon granulated garlic1 1/2 teaspoon anise seeds, crushed1/2 teaspoon red pepper flakes1 tablespoon smoked paprikaLots of fresh black pepper For the white sauce:

1 cup cashews, boiled

3/4 cup vegetable broth

1/2 teaspoon salt

2 tablespoons nutritional yeast

1/2 teaspoon garlic powder Accoutrement and other ingredients:

6 English muffins

3 cups of your favorite marinara

12 fresh basil leaves

Sliced black olives

Baby bell peppers (see note above)

Capers

Directions