It should have been labeled “Return to stoner.”

A Chinatown dental office smelled like a pot smoker’s paradise today after UPS made an unexpected delivery — 31 pounds of marijuana.

Orthodontist Richard Lyons was returning from a conference at 3 p.m. when he discovered that the parcel service had left a huge package at Dr. Toothy’s Dental Office, at 205 Worth St.

It was addressed to him from a Gwendaline Lyons — whom he swears he’d never heard of — and postmarked from tiny Katy, Texas (population: 11,775).

The package was very heavy — and cold.

“I thought it must be boxes to send out when I take out teeth for stem cells,” said Lyons, who has been in practice in Chinatown for more than 30 years.

As his assistant, Derrick Maio, struggled to unwrap it, they found a plastic cooler inside — and a distinct odor.

“There was a very strong smell, a very potent smell. It smelled so bad,” Lyons said.

Atop the cooler were liquid soap and baby wipes, apparently to cover the sweet stench.

And when they opened the cooler, they found a huge brick of Texas tea — and not the brewing kind.

Lyons was “surprised,” but Maio, 31, didn’t know what it was.

“He’s not of our era,” the ponytailed orthodontist explained.

He said that the delivery was, “of course, not” his but that the similarity in names was “a very strange coincidence.”

He called police because “I just wanted it out of here … That’s dangerous stuff.”

Officers arrived — and also voiced surprise.

“Thirty one pounds? That’s a lot of marijuana,” one said.

Officials declined to say, but the estimated street value would top $45,000.

One cop came down from the second-floor office wearing a face mask.

“I got a headache just standing next to it,” he said.

They questioned Lyons, but “said not to worry,” the doctor said.

Still, he remains annoyed at the sender and at the failure to intercept the package en route.

“My reaction is disgust that the drug-enforcement agencies and all the different agencies couldn’t seize this,” he said — adding, however, that he doesn’t expect any fallout.

“I am the king of Chinatown, and I am not worried about anybody or any repercussions,” he declared.

But why would anyone send weed to Dr. Toothy’s?

“This is one of the top weirdest days of my career,” he said.