

In Patent 10049419, "Mobile law enforcement communication system and method," Motorola engineers describe "A communication system, comprising: a self-driving vehicle within which to detain a detainee by a law enforcement officer" that locks you up, administers a breathalyzer, reads you your rights, figures out who your counsel of record is, conferences you in with your lawyer, consults with a court on your bail, and lets you swipe your cards to bail out of the car.



What a fucking time to be alive.



7. The communication system of claim 1, wherein the plurality of interface devices further comprises:

9. a breathalyzer located within the self-driving vehicle for automatically measuring an alcohol level of the detainee. […]

10. The communication system of claim 1, wherein the plurality of interface devices further comprises:

one or more displays located within the self-driving vehicle for presenting legal rights to the detainee; and

responsive to the detainee invoking a right to an attorney, the virtual the assistant generating a query as to pre-existing counsel, and responsive to identification of pre-existing counsel by the detainee, the virtual assistant contacting the identified pre-existing counsel and setting up a real-time audio and display interface between the detainee and the pre-existing counsel within the self-driving vehicle. […]

11. The communication system of claim 11, wherein the plurality of interface devices further comprises:

12. one or more displays, wherein at least one of the displays provides a real-time display interface to the public defender.

13. The communication system of claim 1, wherein the plurality of interface devices further comprises:

14. an automated payment processing device located within the self-driving vehicle for payment of fines or bail.

15. The communication system of claim 1, wherein the plurality of interface devices further comprises:

16. in response to a verbal request from the detainee to the virtual assistant, the communication system automatically contacts a bail bond company.