ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

The previously unseen Liberal Party base has been discovered in a local cafe today.

Four Betoota Grove Baby Boomers, who all moonlight as economic, social and environmental handbrakes on our nation, were observed by researchers from the CSIRO bickering in the Steaks de Cheval Cafe in the French Quarter.

For the first time in years, according to Australia’s peak scientific body.

“We were in town to record bird numbers. And then we stumbled upon this! That’s such a CSIRO thing to do! People have said the Liberal Party base doesn’t really exist, however,” said the public servant.

“But the base reportedly got Malcolm turfed and every Tom, Dick and Dutton in the Liberal Party has been trying to appease this base so they’d keep their vote,”

“Nobody was convinced, they said the base is just a figment of their imagination! Well, as it turns out, we are the dumb cunts in this instance. There they are. Four old white people bickering about something. There you have it, Australia.”

The Advocate went down to the Steaks de Cheval to see what all the fuss was about but one of the boomers had a fall while attempting to use the bathroom.

Ambulance crews were preventing people from entering the cafe.

More to come.