Dear Talia and Stefanie,

It is with extreme frustration that I write this, as I think you both have squandered away the opportunity to talk about a very important issue. When I first read Talia’s letter, I couldn’t help but eye-roll at the sheer level of entitlement and misguided criticism about a living wage in San Francisco. So when I saw that Stefanie Williams created a spirited rebuttal to Talia’s open letter, I was enthusiastic. I eagerly clicked on the letter, hoping that I would read an eloquent response to Talia’s ignorant complaints. Sadly, I wasn’t so lucky.

You see Talia, I think many people have made it clear that it is hard to pity you right now. You complained about only being able to afford a 10-pound bag of rice to feed yourself due to the low wages you were paid as a customer service representative at Yelp/Eat 24. And while I’ll be the first to say that I cringe whenever some cynical middle-aged person gripes about our “entitled” millennial generation, I can confirm that your letter did in fact reek of entitlement. In fact, it was utterly offensive. You moved to one of the most expensive cities in America, where you apparently live alone while commuting to work. (At least, you did commute to work before being fired due to your letter.) What is astounding to me is that you don’t see the variety of ways in which your blatant entitlement is utterly ignorant.

First off, if you were saddled with debt and had to load charges up on your credit card just to move and escape your undesirable living conditions, why did you have to move to a city where the cost of living is so high? There are plenty of wonderful American cities with much more reasonable costs of living. I know this for a fact; I live in one of them. So that right there was your first problem.

Secondly, why not get a roommate? You’re paying $1,200 for rent each month to live alone in San Francisco. That is absolutely inexcusable if you’re going to proceed to complain about how you don’t earn a living wage. Either get a roommate or two, or live in an area that is more affordable. It’s not that complicated.

Thirdly, it is so naive and childish to think you could get hired for a customer service job and then immediately move up to managing the company’s social media. Newsflash: lots of people can write funny tweets. My brother is one of them. He is also a 17-year-old high schooler who works a part-time job. I don’t think that qualifies him to run a brand’s Twitter account, and neither does your alleged wittiness qualify you for a swift ascent into corporate media domination.

And lastly, why in the world were you commuting so far for a job in the first place? If the costly commute put such a damper on your meager earnings and nonexistent nourishment, why not get a job working at a cafe down the block? There is no need to spend over $55 each week on your commute when you’re only earning $733 bi-weekly. Another newsflash: your commute eats up 15% of your take-home pay. It seems a little ridiculous that you’re complaining about spending more than the recommended 30% of take home pay on rent when you’re willingly paying an exorbitant amount of money to commute to a menial job. Go put an application in at the cafe down the street, and start walking there. You’ll save yourself a couple hundred bucks every month and a whole bunch of time, too. (Oh, and you can ditch that monthly internet bill that is apparently weighing you down so much, and complete your freelance work at the cafe.)

P.S. Can you stop complaining about having co-pays? You’re lucky that your employer provides health and dental insurance, and many people would feel blessed to simply have a $20 co-pay in order to get the healthcare they need. Moral of the story? You’re an underemployed and overconfident brat. It’s a shame they don’t teach humility in school these days.

Now Stefanie, at first I thought you were on the right track. You addressed the gaping inefficiencies that Talia could easily remedy in order to fix her problems. You addressed that she was working an unskilled job and apparently not trying to actively improve her means via finding a higher paying job and pursuing upward mobility. And thankfully, you at least pointed out that getting a second job (or heck, maybe even a third in an area like San Fran) could help Talia out and teach her the value of hard work.

But here’s what you both missed: the genuine lack of a living wage. This is the point that Talia initially attempted to spark a conversation about, and Stefanie, while accurate in your criticism, you completely glazed over this issue. There are so many people who actually struggle to earn a living and make ends meet, without sitting on the high horses that you two are.

You both pointed out that you received college degrees in English, then went on to pursue creative dreams. While your road to get there apparently hasn’t exactly been straight or easy for either of you, you are still both snarking from a position of immense privilege. You are college educated. You have the freedom to pursue your career aspirations. You have both had the opportunities to live in large, costly cities that many Americans can only dream of. Yet you’re sitting behind your computers griping about who works harder and who should and shouldn’t be earning what.

As I type this myself, I am working from a shoddy Macbook Pro that is almost 6-years-old, in need of a couple cosmetic repairs, and at times painfully slow. Just like you both, I have a college degree. I graduated from a nice private liberal arts school with an honors degree in marketing and I work a respectable job in my field earning a respectable salary. And also like you both, I find ways to snark and complain. I ponder what it would be like if my salary was 15% greater. I lament over whether I should just go drop some money on a new Macbook Pro because I work darn hard and I deserve it. But I haven’t bought one, and I will continue to avoid buying one. I could spend that $1,200 on a new laptop, or on rent in San Francisco like you Talia, or on rent in New York city like you Stefanie. But I don’t. I’d rather save for my future. I choose to live at home, while working a full-time job and earning a salary, and I still pursue other interests — both professional and philanthropic — in what little free time I have. The key word here is that I have a choice. And so do you. And we can’t complain about the choices we make career wise because at least we have a choice in the first place.

The thing about a living wage is that there are real people, working and living in middle America, that can’t make ends meet. They didn’t go to cushy colleges and get Bachelor’s degrees that now sit in elegant frames in our childhood homes. They may come from broken homes or troubled pasts. They may not even have a high school education. These are the people working as cashiers, at gas stations, at fast food restaurants, and other menial jobs that people frown down upon. They can’t choose to escape their means. Unlike us, they do not have an education that they can forego the use of in favor of pursuing a pipe dream career in media like you two. They don’t have the means to pick up and move, and perhaps try to make it and fail, only to move back home to mom and dad. These are real people who may have families to feed and debt because of medical bills that they can’t afford.

Meanwhile, you’re complaining about debt you chose to take on by moving across the country. And you’re complaining about a $20 co-pay that an impoverished single mom with diabetes in Wisconsin is wishing she had right now. And you’re complaining about the road to success being filled with blood, sweat, and tears when you’re choosing to be underemployed. You both chose to work in the service industry so you could simultaneously choose to pursue your grandiose ideas. In some ways, that’s admirable. But it’s also a choice.

I will end this by saying I am not trying to criticize without empathy. I too have dreams. And like both of you, for a short while I willingly chose to be underemployed — working a part time job and bartending — while I pursued a dream of my own. But then I chose to go back to my career. Just like you both could choose to leave the menial jobs — that some unfortunate American is sitting at home praying to have right now — to go advance your careers too. Instead of debating about the right way to live life and the right way to earn money, let’s start talking about how some people don’t have the option to live any other way than under the restrictive constraints of their limited means. We can complain from cramped apartments in big cities or spacious bedrooms in our parent’s homes, but at the end of the day you have both proven that you both choose not to deal with the issue of living wage. Many people aren’t that fortunate. The issue of a living wage is real, and you both diminished its significance by highlighting how you choose to live in the circumstances that someone else is praying to escape. Your petulance and pettiness is detracting from a real quality-of-life issue that does in fact need to be addressed on a large scale.

Just remember that you have a choice, ladies. You’re lucky you have one.

Sincerely,

Alexis