Terminal Lance #372 “Toys R’ Us”

I mean, realistically, this would be a way cooler toy than the current officially licensed USMC offerings.

Like come on, we’ve been fighting the war on terror for like 14 years and this is some weird, pseudo Desert Storm shit. What am I supposed to do? Use my imagination?

I miss the barracks sometimes.

I know that’s a weird sentence, but I love how full of life it is on any given night of the week. By life, I mean drunken, shirtless Marines shouting obscenities at each other and getting into random brawls. This isn’t just a Friday night routine, this is an every night routine.

Terminal Lance has always been a place for Marines to talk about actual Marine shit. Not just the war stories, but the every day life of being a Marine. Something that always bothers me about Hollywood depictions of the Marine Corps or otherwise is that it’s always about the deployment. Don’t get me wrong, that’s generally where all of the stories worth making a movie about happen–I went on two of them to Iraq myself. However, lets be realistic for a second: I spent a total of one year in Iraq between two deployments. That’s one year out of a standard four year enlistment. Three quarters of my time in the Marine Corps was spent back in the rear, like most Marines, doing every day shit like standing by in the barracks and cleaning weapons at the armory.

I’m not saying we need a movie about drunken barracks brawls, but I do feel like the prolific war porn we’ve come to expect from every movie about the military creates false expectations and representation of the military lifestyle.

Anyway, that’s a long way of saying I want a Marine Corps toy that accurately represents the drunk barracks Marine. Maybe it could even come with an OOD that he pisses on from the 2nd story catwalk.

On a completely unrelated note, I watched Starship Troopers again for the first time in a long time. I think it came out when I was in 4th grade or so. I just want to say that this guy is a POG, Jodie, blue falcon motherfucker.

One more thing…

I’ll be at the Student Veterans of America “Warpaint” gallery unveiling in Washington DC on Friday. I think you have to RSVP, it might be too late, but if you’re going I guess I’ll see you there! Click here for details. I’ll be in the area until Sunday.