After Apple was ordered to pay €13bn (£11bn) plus interest in back taxes to Ireland, following a ruling by the European commission that the country had given the tech giant illegal tax benefits, it looked as if the Irish were in for a windfall. Except Ireland doesn’t want it. The finance minister, Michael Noonan, says the government will appeal against the ruling, which will hit Ireland’s reputation for low taxes. But here is what they could do with the money:

Create an Ireland-Wales tunnel

A rail tunnel, similar to the Channel tunnel, has been envisioned for years, linking Dublin to Holyhead in north Wales. It would run for 50 miles under the Irish sea and could take just over an hour to cross – its cost has been put at around £15bn.

The Olympics … from Rio to Dublin? Photograph: Franck Robichon/EPA

Host the Dublin Olympics

London 2012 cost about £9bn, so there would be plenty of change left over to nurture medal-winning athletes. Team GB’s Rio medal haul was the payoff for £274.5m of investment.

Build a new town for post-Brexit UK exiles

Admittedly, not one that could house all 16,141,241 remain voters, and a million or so regretful leavers, but one or two new towns could be a start.

The Large Hadron Collider. Photograph: Rex Features

Fund amazing science

Ireland could get its own Large Hadron Collider (about £4bn) or send a rover to Mars (Nasa’s Curiosity exploration vehicle cost £1.9bn). China spends about £4.5bn a year on its space programme, and Russia even less.

Buy incredible art

Until the matter of whether a number of masterpieces in the National Gallery in London actually belong to Ireland is solved, the country could amass quite an art collection. Ireland could follow Qatar, which has become a significant art buyer, spending £1bn annually on building a collection for the Qatar Museums Authority (including, it was rumoured, £200m for a Paul Gauguin painting last year).

Hello, Cork! Photograph: John Shearer/Getty Images for MTV.com

Get Kanye to perform every night

Kanye West reportedly turned down an offer of a short Las Vegas residency that would have earned him £380,000 a show. Perhaps it wasn’t enough. Ireland could offer a bit more – say, £400,000 – and have him perform every night for the next 82 years.

Gain footballing glory

They have more than a consonant change as a point of difference, but the way tiny Iceland has become a footballing nation – thanks to a huge investment in pitches and coaching at grassroots level – is an inspirational model to any small nation, particularly those with an unexpected £11bn windfall.

Or do something sensible with it

Such as pay for Ireland’s health service for a year. Or make a small dent in the national debt.