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Tony Blair gets wind of Jeremy Corbyn's leadership campaign

All is not well in the Blair bunker

00:00 - 00:03 Mr Blair, dispiriting news has reached us from the press.

00:04 - 00:05 Jeremy Corbyn is surging ahead in the polls.

00:05 - 00:07 CLPs across the country have nominated him in the leadership content.

00:08 - 00:12 Many left wingers have rejoined the party or signed up as supporters to vote for Corbyn.

00:12 - 00:16 He also has endorsements from 450+ Labour councillors and numerous unions: the POA, RMT, FBU, Unite, Unison, ASLEF, CWU, TSSA, BFAWU.

00:17 - 00:20 My friends in big business and the gutter press are working overtime to portray Corbyn as the worst thing to hit Britain since the Black Death

00:20 - 00:24 I’ve an article in Guardian CIF: ‘Even if you hate me, please don’t take Labour over the cliff edge’. If it fails, we'll say Corbyn is friends with anti-semites

00:25 - 00:26 Tony…

00:27 - 00:28 Um…

00:29 - 00:33 Every time we throw shit at Corbyn he comes out smelling like a rose and surges further ahead in the polls.

00:34 - 00:39 This exposes us as a bunch of scumbags and the other three candidates as vacuous carbon-copies of each other

00:53 - 00:58 All those who took jobs in the Labour Party after an Oxbridge education to advance their own careers, leave now.

01:13 - 01:15 This is beyond the pale!

01:15 - 01:17 Socialists infiltrating a party set up by socialists to support a socialist candidate

01:18 - 01:24 Where is there a place for big business in Corbyn’s plans for the party?

01:25 - 01:28 He'll take the Labour Party back to its socialist roots, God forbid!

01:28 - 01:31 He’ll expose austerity as a big con, refuse to go along with NATO’s aggression and even occasionally criticise Netanyahu’s bombing of Gaza

01:31 - 01:34 I spent 13 years working against all the Labour Party was set up to stand for.

01:34 - 01:37 and now a socialist is going to destroy all I’ve worked hard for. He'll act in the interests of working people!

01:37 - 01:40 Since when did decency and politics mix?

01:40 - 01:42 But Corbyn represents what people want and actually gives clear answers to journalists’ questions

01:42 - 01:46 FFS, Corbyn actually poses a challenge to the Tories and will drag the British political system from the right back to the centre.

01:47 - 01:48 He gives people hope!

01:48 - 01:52 I tried to purge every shred of left wing politics from this party when I formed New Labour.

01:53 - 01:54 And what now?!

01:55 - 01:57 It looks like the careerists may be the ones who’ll have to leave the party if Corbyn wins

01:57 - 02:00 They'll have to go join the Lib Dems!

02:00 - 02:03 Think of the shame!

02:04 - 02:08 If Corbyn has his way…

02:08 - 02:13 there'll only be two major parties left in British politics to fight the corner of big business crooks and bankers

02:14 - 02:16 No, the 1% won't like that at all!

02:17 - 02:24 Under Corbyn Labour could even readopt Clause 4

02:27 - 02:29 He might even give me a one-way all expenses paid trip to the Hague

02:30 - 02:34 No more of the good life for me.

02:34 - 02:39 It would be goodbye to my millions

02:40 - 02:42 No more travelling around the Middle East pretending to be making peace

02:43 - 02:47 No more advising dictators on how to whitewash their public images.

02:48 - 02:53 I might get Slobodan Milosevic's old cell at the Hague

02:54 - 02:56 And actually have to answer for the screw ups I caused in Iraq

02:56 - 02:59 Even my dodgy smile won't help me then…

03:00 - 03:03 ...nor my American friends

03:04 - 03:08 Don’t worry Liz, you can always join the Tories after the leadership contest.

03:14 - 03:18 We’ll have to start planning a coup to oust Corbyn should he win.

03:19 - 03:23 This is what happens if you give the grassroots a say in electing their leader;

03:25 - 03:29 democracy gets in the way of politics.

03:31 - 03:37 Maybe I’ll lie low for a while until my friends oust Corbyn.

03:40 - 03:46 I could get a job as a regional governor in Ukraine

03:46 - 03:49 It worked for Mikheil Saakachvili