I shambled toward my rusted 1994 Grand Marquise after working 10 hours in my Big Store Retail Job, my face sore from forcing myself to smile from wave after wave of unhappy customers. The complaint of a middle aged woman with a soccer mom haircut wearing a Christmas sweater that happily read, "MERRY CHRISTMAS," still hung in my mind: "I DON'T CARE IF MY COUPON EXPIRED 6 MONTHS AGO, YOU GUY'S SAID I COULD USE WHENEVER! I WANT TO SEE YOUR MANAGER!" My spirit and faith in humanity was drowning under a sea of foam and spit that exuded from her mouth. But the work was over. I felt my body sink into the torn, well-used pleather seat as a flood of pain and euphoria rushed over me. I released a loud sigh of relief. It was over. I somehow survived the drive home with the innumerable amount of mini-vans, SUV’s and the occasional Hummer. I saw a mom screaming at her children that were seemingly dancing on the seats like crazed monkeys on speed going 30 over the speed limit, weaving in and out of traffic as if her life depended on it. The occasional swear word released from my lips on the drive home from the traumatic experiences I have endured, and by the grace of God, I made it home to my apartment.

I trudged to my golden steel mailbox, my feet screaming in bitter agony. Each step seemed like an eternity. The small rectangular mailbox screeched in pain as I opened it. And there it was. A small package mailed lovingly to me. From a person I have never met. Someone who had spent the time and energy to think of a gift from the small amount of information given to them. My heart began to revitalize and beat mercilessly against my chest. Adrenaline coursed through my veins and hearty “FUCK YES” bellowed from my rumpled body. My mind reels back to the E-Mail I had received just a week earlier about the package that was traveling to my apartment.

I was overjoyed.

I rushed up the stairs to my second story apartment, unlocked the door that led to my unkempt living room. I threw away the copious amount of ads, pre-approved credit card applications, which teetered perfectly balanced on my overflowed trash can. I grabbed the package and held it into the air as if to present to the animal kingdom of the new born Lion cub that would someday rule the Savannah. Yah, just like in the Lion King. My wife stared in complete bewilderment and shook her head in utter and complete defeat. I had won. But that’s beside the point. I had waited anxiously for this package that was now in my grasp that was lovingly sent from my Santa Clause. I ripped open the hard cardboard shell to release the present that laid within as if I were a starving lion tearing through a Gazelle. Apparently I also like using Lion references. As I ripped open the box,(like a manly, beefy lion) I encountered a note with hearts and snowflakes thrown around a note: “Your secret Santa” “(Who loves owls and bad jokes).” Underneath laid my long awaited present. I nearly tore the wrapping to shreds when I hear the (EDIT REMOVED: screech of a harpy) melodious sound of a coo of doves…

“You should read the letter.” “Do I have too?” I said like complaining like a 12 year old child. “Oh my God I married a 12 year, yes you should.” She bemoaned.

I opened the letter and there lied a card intended for a baby that read “there’s a new little center of the universe…” I opened the card where it finished “…and the whole world is smiling.” A beautiful hand written note laid written underneath that read “Congratulations on your new baby!” (at this point I was utterly confused and terrified. Did I somehow get the wrong package?) “I am of course talking about your new rig . Have an awesome holiday filled with long nights of amazing graphics and games! #PCMASTERRACE.” I turned the card over where the note continued, “Hope you enjoy it, I enjoy mine. Super boot speeds for Windows 8 and my top games. I think everyone should have at least one!”

What were the odds that my Secret Santa was a fellow brother of the PC Master Race? It was a dream come true. I stared longingly in anticipation at my gift, lovingly cocooned in an owl and bird themed Christmas tree wrapping. I looked up to my wife like a forlorn puppy, waiting for approval to open the package.

“why are you staring at me? Just open it!” She didn’t have to tell me twice. I tore through the paper in milliseconds. My heart leapt out of my chest and danced a fucking jig. It was a Kingston 120GB SSD. I was elated. It was the perfect gift since I had saved up several hundred dollars over the past year to finally build my dream rig. It was a Christmas before Christmas.

Thank you Secret Santa- PC- master- race- brother. I will never forget this!