Eight former celebrities are in the fight of their lives to build their former glory up from square one. They have 24 hours to make the most progress towards their personal goal or they must vacate the lot immediately, sounds easy right? Yeah, it would be… if they weren’t living together on a vacant lot with only 3 benches, a fire pit, and the very restrictive rules about the use of public lots. Let’s meet the contestants!



Opal Gardenia was the voice of empowered feminists of the 90’s everywhere. Her “girl power” anthems hit the charts, and the money came rolling in… but then girls decided they’d rather idolize scantilly clad women with a catchy pop tune than a girl with a hemp dress and a message about the strength of the uterus. Disgusted by the state of the current music industry, Opal wants to start her own produce company, selling organic fruits and veggies to grocery stores everywhere.

Rikki Kix was once the suave lead guitarist of the band Gnarley Gnomes, the biggest band of the 80’s. Unfortunately, after the singer died of a fairy dust overdose, the drummer died in a plane crash, the bassist died doing something pretty weird to himself in the bedroom, Gnarley Gnomes was no more, and Rikki found himself working at Guitar Center. Rikki would love to climb his way back on top of the music industry.

Jason Breather was the hearthrob of many girls awaiting a visit from the boob fairy, but unfortunately for him, young adulthood hit him like a ton of bricks. After his non-threatening good looks faded, he found he had no dissernable talent. Jason wants to pursue a career in education, because after all, those who cannot do teach.

Fritz Carley was one of the best stand-up comedians on the sketch comedy show “Wednsday Afternoon Scripted”. His genius use of physical comedy was his cash cow, and he even started making some movies playing the fallout guy to Darren Club. Unfortunately for Fritz, as comedy evolved he found slapstick fell by the wayside for memes and Rage comics. Fritz has decided to pull out of the comedy business and dive into writing sci-fi novels.

Monica May was once the host of a show “Dinners on a Dime”, where she showed the viewing public how to make delicious meals for cheap. Unfortunately for her, many of her viewers had to cancel cable, her ratings dropped, and she was canceled. Monica now works the grill at her local McDennis’. Monica hopes to become a 5-star chef and start her own cooking magazine.

Jupiter Matthews used to be one of the top women’s tennis players in the country, sharing the top 3 with her sister Helena. Jupiter probably could have made it to be number one but she just could not control her raging temper, and after impaling an opponent with her racket, she had to stay in a mental health facility for a while. Now, fully rehabilitated (mostly), she looks to climb her way back into the tennis world.

Layla Goth is the Goth the Goths don’t talk about. After hearing of her breast enhancement and her employment as an exotic dancer, Layla was disowned by the rich and powerful Goth family. Layla’s goal is to sponge off some rich old man, as her days of being in the adult entertainment industry are numbered.

Last but not least, the famous street artist Cache Monet. Cache was widely known for his wall tag named “Comply”, which was found screen-printed on many shirts, skateboards, and posters all over the world. Unfortunately for Cache, he has not had a masterpeice tag since. His goal is to have a peice of his art become another icon for the counter culture once again.

Please join us next “week” when we watch the celebrities struggle to balance catching their own dinner, sharing limited areas to rest, and juggling their many needs in the 8 hours a weekday the public lots are open.