AN: The song is Crazy, covered by Daniela Andrade

I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind

The door opens and a nurse walks in. For a brief moment I can hear quiet shuffling and whispers in the hall, a reminder of the world outside. Without looking at me she sets the food down on the table and leaves, shutting off the outside world again. I look over to the mirror on the wall and keep my gaze level with it. Are they watching me through it now? Or maybe they’re watching me through the camera in the corner above the door. Maybe they’ve grown tired of watching me.



There was something so pleasant about that place.

I sigh and close my eyes, falling back onto the bed and curling up, pulling my knees tight against me. If I close my eyes here, in the room, the world and everything in it falls away. It’s just me, alone in this room. Solitary confinement. It was supposed to be an incentive. They want me to talk, to pour my soul out to them, to show emotion and move on. They want me to admit I’m broken and I want to be fixed. They don’t know that this is the most relaxed I’ve felt in years.



Even your emotions had an echo

In so much space

I smile and sit up, looking towards the mirror again. They want me to eat. I can do that for them. I get off the bed and walk over to the food and the small cup that holds two white pills and a pink tablet. One’s a vitamin, the other is two are to help with my “depression”. I smirk before I toss them into my mouth and knock them back without any water. After six months I’ve gotten used to them.

And when you’re out there

Without care,

I only have to wait a few minutes after I’ve eaten the food for another nurse to come in. This one looks at me and smiles. I give her a small smile back, the medicine giving me a nice feeling, like I’m fuzzy all over. I like it.

“It’s time for the break room before going to see Dr. Hawthorne.” She says.

“Break room? That’s not very solitary.” I reply, watching for her reaction. She just keeps her smile plastered on.

“Dr. Hawthorne says you deserve it. Come on.” She holds the door open for me.

I get up and follow her out and down the hall.



Yeah, I was out of touch

I step into the room. It’s pretty empty so I have my pick of the spots. The nurse that brought me here goes to sit down at the desk while I try to decide where to go. So many options. There’s a person in the corner by the scrabble game I could play with. That would probably look the best for my ‘recovery’. But I pick the couch instead. It looks more comfortable. The TV is on a low hum as I come up to it and sink into the lumpy cushions. I smile and close my eyes, enjoying the newscasters’ whisperings.

“Six months ago…tragedy…” One of the anchors says, drawing my attention. I open my eyes and look at her. “With one child dead and another in the hospital, police are welcoming any tips. Because of the status of one of the victims, the police are looking into the possibility of homicide. Our hearts go out to the victims and their families. Please call…”



But it wasn’t because I didn’t know enough

I just knew too much

I drop my eyes and lean back into the couch again. Homicide? I didn’t think the police would have gone there. They’re right, of course. They’re just never going to find the person responsible. They can’t find Evelyn in Death. The nurse stands back up and comes over to me.

“Sweetie, it’s time for your appointment.” She says softly.

I nod and get up, following her out of the break room.

Does that make me crazy?

Does that make me crazy?

Dr. H sits in his chair with his notebook, watching me closely. “How have you been, Zoey?”

I shrug and smile. “Fine.”

He writes something down. “Just fine? Did you enjoy the break room today?”

“I guess.” I reply, leaning forward. I decide to throw him some bait. “The news was on. They said that the police think that what happened to me and Jack might be a homicide, or attempt. What would it be Dr. H? The driver only killed one person.”

Three taps with his pencil. Soft raps on the paper as his eyes poke at me, searching for something. I just keep my smile on. “The driver will be charged with two accounts. One of manslaughter, one of attempted manslaughter. But you don’t think they’ll find the driver, do you?”

Does that make me crazy?

Possibly

I lean back and pull my legs up under me. “No. They won’t be able to find it or the woman responsible.”

He nods and writes something down. “Right, because the driver was likely a ghost and the woman, Evelyn – your great-grandmother – is living in Death.”

“Right.” I smile. I told Dr. H about what I can really do. About Death. I even had a ghost move some shit around his office for him. He marked me up as crazy and having telekentic powers. I guess it’s harder to believe in ghosts and Death than in witches, vampires, werewolves, genies, mermaids, and any of the others I’m missing. I can’t expect them to think too crazy now, can I?

Come on now, who do you,

who do you, who do you, who do you think you are,

“It’s an interesting theory, I have to admit.” He says, watching for a reaction.

I just shrug. “Call it what you want.”

“I just think it’s interesting that you haven’t told anyone about this power but me. Not even Jack.” He keeps his gaze level.

“Well, look where I ended up once I told someone.” I smirk.

He smiles, thinking he’s going to catch me in his trap. Honestly, I’m tiring of our dance. “Since I know you’re not a religious person, I don’t mind being frank with you about this, Zoey. There is no heaven or hell. We determine our lives and what happens in them. I know dealing with a loved one’s death is hard and it’s nice to believe there’s something for them after, but you’re taking this too far.”

Ha ha ha bless your soul

You really think you’re in control

I laugh and lean forward again. “I have no doubt that we determine some of our lives Dr. H. But there are too many outside forces – like other people and nature – to say that we have complete control over what happens. For having Doctor in your name you sure do make a lot of assumptions.”

He writes something in his notebook again. “Have you been having suicidal tendencies lately?”

“Nope. Never have, doc. Well, not since my parents died. Don’t worry about me offing myself. I’m in Death enough. I’d like to put off being there permanently for a while longer. I’d like a kid or two, maybe a husband to go along with them.” I smile at him as he writes more down.

Well, I think you’re crazy

I think you’re crazy

“Children and a husband requires physical touching. With your condition, that doesn’t seem possible, something you’ve mentioned yourself before.” He says.

I shrug. “Yea, well, a couple hundred years ago people didn’t think real witches were possible either but we showed up. Anything’s possible if you look hard enough…well, almost anything.”

“I like your positive outlook, Zoey. You seem to be doing much better lately.” He smiles.

I think you’re crazy

Just like me

I chuckle a little. “We’re not that different, Dr. H. We both seem to think the other is ignorant.”

“I don’t think your ignorant, Zoey. I just think you’ve been through some traumatic experiences and they’ve impacted your judgment.” His brows knit together and he writes more stuff down in his book.

“When I get out of here will I be able to read everything you write down in that little book?” I ask.

“No. My notes will be locked away with your file when you leave.” He folds his notebook closed after making one last note and looks at me. “You’re doing really good, Zoey. Exceptional, really. A few more sessions like this and you should be good for release.”

Ever since I was little,

ever since I was little it looked like fun

And it’s no coincidence I’ve come

And I can die when I’m done

I smile and stand, knowing the session is over. “Sounds great, doc. See ya soon.”

A nurse opens the door and I follow her out. It’s the one that didn’t look at me earlier when she gave me my lunch. I just stay quiet and walk a step behind her as we head to my room. As nice as this respite has been in here, I do need to get out soon. I’ve had time to think about my future in here and the heirs have been able find out more information about Evelyn. Apparently she’s so angry about not killing me she’s making mistakes.

Maybe I’m crazy

Maybe you’re crazy

Maybe we’re crazy

Probably

A month later and I’m standing in the lobby of the hospital. At my request, only Autumn came to get me. I didn’t want the whole family showing up and making a scene. I give her a small smile as she waves and walks up to me. Dr. H has already briefed her on me I’m sure. To them, I’m once again a fully functioning teenager that is ready to reintegrate back into the world.

“Ready to go home?” Autumn asks me.

“Yea.” I say with a smile.