A few possible explanations for why they might not greet you: They are scanning the perimeter for interlopers. They are not early birds. They recall past attempts to engage you in conversation that found you standoffish, owing to your secret tendency to “harbor resentment from the morning.”

The best way to make a friend is to be a friend, and the best way to force someone to say hello to you is to make eye contact and offer a clear, bright “Hello!” every morning until you break them. Let’s be gentle with one another before 10 a.m.

Fan Mail

I read your column online and always seem to draw a comparison to Hustler magazine’s Forum because so many of the letters seem contrived. Then I think about their content, and I realize the writers must be either extremely insecure or just plain indecisive. Doesn’t make me feel better, but reminds me I have just wasted a few minutes that I will never recover. We are in grave danger if any of them are allowed to vote or procreate. — Anonymous

The internet has brought a lot of good to the world, such as the highly revered Work Friend column, but it has also facilitated the spread of incorrect information and lackluster opinions on which even holders’ grasps are tenuous. Forum was a Penthouse feature. Please click here.

Primal Screen Therapy

Our team had a meeting with another team requiring a screen share from my laptop. As the meeting ended and everyone “hung up,” my manager, who was unable to attend, messaged me to ask how it went. I was unaware that our messaging was not the private conversation I thought it was; other people were reading our messages because they hadn’t closed out their screens. None of what we said was unprofessional or untrue, but a woman who can be difficult did a screenshot of the messages and sent it to my boss’s boss, who had been on the call. I am really upset about this invasion of privacy, lack of respect and questionable ethical judgment. I want to address this situation, as I feel violated and wronged. This person needs to have consequences, in my opinion; she is a V.P. and should know better. I don’t know her well and will see her in person at a large-ish meeting in two weeks. I don’t really want to call her myself, and I feel like H.R. should do something, but all of this just furthers the friction, even though she’s bringing it on herself. 1) Shouldn’t this person have closed her screen and/or let me know that my screen was still open? 2) What the $&@? Sending the screen to my boss’s boss — what could she hope to achieve with that?! — Anonymous

1) Yes, that is the professional, polite and kind thing to do, but not the most strategic, entertaining or delicious thing to do, which is why many people would not do it.