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SEE MORE: Vol 56 Issue 15

The coronavirus pandemic has virtually halted U.S. sports, but calls for sports to restart to provide entertainment for a largely home-bound nation have led some leagues to explore creative options to resume play. The Onion looks at potential ways for sports leagues to restart during coronavirus.


NBA: Help prevent virus’s spread by giving each player on court his own ball.



WWE: Only allow wrestlers to perform body slams through large plexiglass shields.




MLS: Yellow card to any player who gives another player coronavirus.



MLB: Require players to wear baseball gloves on both hands.



WNBA: Have floor cleaners regularly run out and mop droplets out of the air.



NASCAR: Limit pileups to 10 cars or fewer.



NHL: Play on—those guys are too tough to get infected.



NFL: Draw on extensive experience of downplaying a public health crisis to power through season.

