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This has been a very bad year for conservative megadonors. That includes Charles and David Koch, the famously secretive industrialist brothers who pledged a do-or-die effort to unelect President Obama with the help of their wealthy allies and affiliated dark-money groups. So how have they been spinning the disappointing election results to their friends and fellow donors? This (entirely fake) letter imagines one possibility…

Read more on the Kochs’ political activities in 2012 and the real stats cited in the phony letter above.