I kinda ran out of Joe Buck Halloween ideas last season and nothing came to me this year, so no Halloween joke. Also due to a busy weekend my time was limited and I figured I’d give Houston some due love because the World Series may very well be over by Wednesday rendering this whole thing irrelevant. So no Joe Buck this year.

The Astros are the crazy story right now, putting on one of the best World Series’ in memory, somehow even more thrilling than last year. The comeback in game 5 was incredible. This is a great team and I’m pulling for them to pull it off. This team could win it all and has a bright future ahead of it. Of course, they may very well die a horrible screaming death.

The Texans, while flawed, seem to have found their franchise QB. DeShaun Watson is positively killing it, playing fearlessly and extremely impressively. The offense is working, and while I’ve been fairly skeptical of Watson so far (I try to keep my expectations in check, half a season doesn’t mean much) I can’t deny the kid has looked great. The Texans may still have issues but the big one might be sorted out. This team could potentially reach the playoffs and make some noise, they already took New England to the wire once. They could be a threat for the foreseeable future. Or, DeShaun could be a flash in the pan who dies a horrible screaming death.

The Rockets! The Rockets have one of the best players in the league, James “Mostly Beard” Harden. They have Chris Paul, or will have him at some point. They are actually trying to dethrone the Warriors instead of just sorta giving up till they go away, which is very commendable. This team is pretty freaking good! They have Hardy Boy locked up for mega bucks, what could this bright team do? Well it could die a horrible screaming death.

The city also has something called a Houston Dynamo, which is apparently a soccer team that has won a thing in the past decade, so that’s also…something? They are in the semi-finals right now I guess. Soccer can go die a horrible screaming death.

Of course, we secretly know the real reason Houston is playing good sports. Classic Tragedy Bump.

Anyway I just wanted to say Go Astros before the World Series potentially ended tonight. No, I won’t use your stupid hashtag. Stop it with the dumb rallying hashtags. Stop it. STOP IT. STOP FALLING FOR THIS MARKETING CRAP.