How else, too, are we to understand the sudden revision, some weeks ago, of route plans for the much-vaunted WestConnex motorway? The centrepiece of the government's infrastructure planning, to cost perhaps $10 billion, was revised with a snap of the fingers to include a new harbour crossing and other major revisions in what looked a little like a repeat of Labor's dismal record on transport plans. And how else are we to understand the news that we reveal today, that Green Square, a major residential development with the highest population density of anywhere in Australia, is soon to open fully – with no transport plan at all? Studies of the implications for transport of this number of residents in such a small area have been delivered regularly since 2008 – yet nothing apparently has been done to increase bus and train services. The City of Sydney is warning that with 50 flats being released each week in Green Square for the next two years, the situation is becoming critical. The lack of a plan implies the same old plan – roads and cars. But in Green Square roads and cars won't work. Residents already say streets are gridlocked. Bus services could be increased, but they face the same problem: traffic lights can go through three full cycles before a bus can travel through one intersection. Are residents to travel by train then? Perhaps, although services are already crowded and will have to be more than doubled to cope with demand. There are no plans for that. That leaves bikes and bike lanes. Past reports have taken the potential of two-wheeled transport very seriously, but for Mr Gay, long-term critic of cycling and cyclists, to embrace that possibility would be a revolution indeed. We have to accept that this government, like many of its predecessors, puts the needs of motorists ahead of most other groups in the community. From its nearly four years in power we know it does not use transport planning as a way to mould urban development. In NSW, urban planning – including other transport modes such as rail – is what happens after you have decided where the roads are going to go.

The entrenched bias within government and the bureaucracy towards roads we have noted before. It is based on a certain view of individual choice. In your car, you choose where you go and when, and you are responsible if your car breaks down. But if the bus or the train don't arrive on time, or break down, the government is responsible. Far better for the politicians, then, to keep you driving your car. The problem with this approach is that high-density development of the Green Square kind has rendered it outdated. Given that, as Monday's gridlock, and many another peak-hour incident, have shown, Sydney's roads are operating at capacity, the government should consider new ways to shape the choices which motorists make. One way could be to encourage them to avoid the central business district altogether, by placing a congestion charge on cars entering it, while removing tolls from motorways which avoid it – the Cross City Tunnel, the Harbour Tunnel and parts of the Eastern Distributor. The principle should be to free the places where people live, work, walk and gather – like the CBD, or central Parramatta, or other urban centres – from cars and trucks, which can be diverted onto motorways where they belong. Creatures prepare to do battle in your home The latest hot, action superhero is Ant-Man. This is no joke. If this makes you think Hollywood is running out of wildlife, we couldn't agree more. Who's next? Goose-Man? Christmas beetle-Man? Thrip-Man?

However, we may have a solution that can hold off the seemingly inevitable decline of the Hollywood Christmas blockbuster ("Thrip-Man III! This time it's poisonal ... ") for a few cycles. Let us introduce (sudden deafening fanfare, please, maestro) Catman. An exhaustive search of the first few items on Google reveals that the Catman franchise is relatively free. Catman is no relation to Catwoman, a foxy starlet in a rubber jumpsuit and high heels whose Special Power is kicking people. No indeed. Our character is grounded firmly in reality. In our scenario, Catman is an overfed, middle-aged narcoleptic. He lives in a quiet street in Gotham City, which, we need hardly tell you, is in the middle of a crime wave. Catman lives next door to a fastidious, highly strung recluse, known only as The Perp. You'll never guess the next plot twist, so we'll have to tell you: Catman discovers The Perp is an evil genius, causing all Gotham City's crime. Catman's crime-fighting strategy is simple but effective. He waits until The Perp opens his door to get the Herald from under his car, then slips straight into the kitchen. Using Special Powers honed by years of freeloading, Catman opens The Perp's fridge, finds the leftovers from last night's takeaway chook, drags them onto the floor and chews them messily, leaving bones and greasy sinew everywhere. He then goes to sleep on The Perp's favourite chair, leaving hair all over it. We can't possibly give away the ending, but let's just say that The Perp finds life somewhere clean and orderly, with a regular routine, preferable to a world where Catman is on the loose. And look, it beats anything Ant-Man can do.