Newer Dommes have asked Me how to best learn all the different FemDom fetishes. After all, a core of learning to be a Domme is to understand the various FemDom fetishes.

1. Define the FemDom Fetishes

This one might seem painfully obvious but I feel this is the most important. A newer Domme must have a general idea of what various FemDom fetishes are. You may use the FemDom Glossary I have created that defines the most common FemDom fetishes. It even includes some ideas to get you started. After defining the fetishes, it is time to be creative. This is the part where many newer Dommes get very tripped up. Remember, the only rule to FemDom is that the female is in charge! Beyond that, there is no “right way” to do any fetish. It is best to take the definition of the fetish and then use that with your sub in a way you find to the most fun for your unique personality. Put another way, do not do what you think you should do. Do what you actually want to do.

2. Learn from Subs

Camming

In my opinion and experience, learning from subs is another great way to learn FemDom. And, the best way to learn from subs is to simply cam with subs. Best of all, you are paid for your time in doing so… and nothing beats paid learning time. This is another reason I suggest starting with lower rates first and then gradually going higher. For a newer Domme, it is much better to be working back to back shows gaining experience and money than it is to sit in free chat not working as much because your rates are too high.

Clips

I get asked if creating FemDom clips is another good way to learn and, it kind of is, but not really. Camming, by far, is the quickest way to work with subs directly and quickly, over and over again. With clips, you are much more distanced from the direct interaction which can slow down the learning process.

Calls

Taking FemDom Calls is another decent way to learn (still not as good as camming). However, I find that taking FemDom calls is extremely competitive and relying on only taking calls usually results in very slow progress. So, though it doesn’t hurt to have your lines turned on, I wouldn’t rely on only this.

3. Learn from Dommes

Learning Programs

I put this one last for a reason. Let me be clear that, in my opinion, the best way to learn from a Domme is to approach the Domme that has a clear teaching program in mind, such as my Learn from Mika. If you’re unsure if a Domme has a learning program for new Dommes, you may ask with the intention of compensation her for her time if she does. It could be as basic as working with you one on one. This is where many newer Dommes really drop the ball, from what I’ve seen. Do not message a successful Domme and expect endless amounts of free help, guidance and advice. It is disrespectful to her and, honestly, it is not doing you any favors either.

Watching Clips & Previews

I actually discourage newer Dommes to watch clips of other Dommes. In my experience, I see that many newer Dommes have an incredibly hard time to differentiate between the fetish itself and the Domme’s personal style in performing that fetish. Remember, you do not want to be a bad copy of someone else. You want your own unique style. Even just watching previews I feel like can be limiting. Of course, you’re free to, but I highly caution you to not take the idea too closely to heart… which, again, seems to be very difficult for newer Dommes.

Have Fun