Chris Holtmann says playing Butler was 'the final separation' between him and the Bulldogs. Here's why it was so hard for him.

Former Butler coach Chris Holtmann spent time with CBS Sports' Matt Norlander during the PK80 tournament and opened up about his time with Butler and his emotions playing against his former team.

Holtmann said he has encountered plenty of criticism from Butler fans for his decision to leave, but says he "probably (needs) to have thicker skin with some of it."

"I think I needed to understand that this, you know, Brad (Stevens) did an incredible things there -- Brad also didn't take a college job. Brad took an NBA job. There's not going to be hard feelings for him, nor should there be. I probably need to have thicker skin with some of it, too. I probably just need to, like, why would I be upset that we've got a clown that's calling me 'scumbag'?"

The former Butler coach said it was especially hard for him to leave Joey Brunk, who he had developed a close relationship with and whose father died last season.

"My god, what a brutal conversation that was," Holtmann told Norlander. "We were both crying. I said, 'Joey, I've got something really hard I want to say to you.' I had trouble getting it out. And he said, 'Coach, I don't want you to think I'm mad at you.' He started crying, I started crying."

Holtmann struggled before and after the Butler game with his emotions and the memories it brought back.

"That deal was so much harder than I thought it was going to be," he said. "You do this for a variety of reasons. Most guys, they love the competitive part of this, a lot of this stuff. But the reason I got into this is the relationships. You love the competitive juices, but it's really about the relationships you develop. It's about being a part of a team being a part of a community."

He said Sunday signaled "the final separation" between him and the Butler program.

"I was really attached to the Butler community. Sunday in a lot of ways signaled the final separation that takes place," he said. "It was way harder than I expected, and the fact that we did a lot of really good things in the game but played so poorly down the stretch, I ... even when we were up 15, I don't know. I felt completely different than any game I've ever been up 15."

Follow sports producer Matthew VanTryon on Twitter @MVanTryon.

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