Are you tired of having an app with millions of users and just want to kill it right away?

Don’t worry! Here’s an easy to follow, 5 steps guide to make your highly adopted, habit shaper, used by millions of people app, to be removed in just a few days:

Split your app in two and force users to download your new app in order to have the same functionality they usually enjoyed before with just one, easy to use app. You will have clear arguments: You need to grow and diversify, your functionalities need to evolve and you need to monetize them in different ways, so it would be very complex to keep them all in just one app. Launch your new app despite being buggy and not so user friendly as your original one. You have been the one already setting a high bar of standards with your very easy to use old app and as you are “requiring” your long-term users to switch between one and the other if they want to keep having similar functionality… this will surely drive them mad. You will clearly lose a lot of users because of this. Eliminate or change some of the features that have made your old app so popular and has previously viralized its adoption. Eliminating something that was the reason why a lot of your users first heard of you and kept them coming back due to their gamification characteristics will certainly pay off… and will make them leave. Change your logo and get rid of all your current brand identity and look & feel. Yes, the one that everybody already recognizes. Remember that you want them to forget that you ever existed, so even if they see you in the future they won’t relate you with your old app due to your new identity and they won’t be attracted to install you that easily anymore. Do all of the previous changes at once! Yes, at once. You want to reach the highest impact and if you do all these at once your users will likely end-up getting very, very confused and even if they accept some of these changes they won’t be able to keep up with all of them.

What!? You don’t think all of these would actually work and you want an example?

There’s (sadly) one right here.