The whole debate over health insurance has me thinking. While we consider the millions of Americans without health insurance, we should also be having a debate about homeowners insurance. It is hard to believe, but in the richest country in the world, there are some that go without homeowners insurance. How can we as a society tolerate this any longer?

I think we need to open up the debate and start exposing the evil homeowners insurance companies that are greedy and always looking for a big profit. These companies don't actually do anything except charge premiums and then occasionally pay out on claims. The difference is excessive profits that benefit the executives.

We need to make homeowners insurance affordable and available to everyone. No one should have to go without it. First, we need mandates on these insurance companies that say they can't discriminate. These greedy companies think it is okay to discriminate if you have a pre-existing condition. There are people who have had major fires or floods that have severely damaged homes and now they are being prevented from buying insurance. This is pure discrimination and we should not allow this to happen as a society.

The next thing we need to do is to get state legislatures to start mandating that these insurance companies cover more things. There are millions of homeowners with leaky faucets and stained carpets. They should not have to live like this. Insurance policies should cover these things. It is not right that some should have to walk around with a stained carpet while rich people can get new carpet on a regular basis. The insurance companies should be forced to cover such things in their policies. You should also know that when you get your free carpet cleaning, covered by your insurance, that it could only be done by a government-licensed professional.

Now we must discuss unfair competition. We need states to enact laws that prevent people from buying homeowners insurance from other states. It is ridiculous that someone from Florida can buy insurance from some company in North Carolina. This hurts the people of Florida by exporting jobs. Florida residents should be forced to buy homeowners insurance from companies within Florida that benefit the workers of Florida.

It might be argued that the federal government should override this using the Commerce Clause in the Constitution. We must remember that the Commerce Clause provides the federal government the power to do anything. But in this particular instance, the federal government should respect states' rights and not interfere.

Hopefully, buying your own homeowners insurance won't be an issue anyway, since you should be provided this as a benefit from your employer. It would make perfect sense for the federal government to set up the tax code and other regulations that encourage businesses to provide homeowners insurance coverage to their employees. These businesses can afford it and people should not be expected to go out and have to shop around for their own policy.

If all of these measures are not enough and some homeowners are still without insurance (although, how could that be, since these measures would surely lower costs), then the federal government should step in and provide a government option. People will be mandated to have homeowners insurance or they will pay a fine or else go to jail. But don't worry, because the government option will help those in need. After all, what is the government for if it is not to take care of people?

We are a compassionate and caring society with a lot of wealth. We should care for our fellow human beings. In our times, nobody should go without homeowners insurance. Let's get state governments and the federal government to fix this problem. They have done such a great job with our healthcare that we should give them a chance to provide universal homeowners insurance.

Note: This is a purely sarcastic piece and is not meant to give any bright ideas to any bureaucrats or politicians.

The Best of Geoffrey Pike