Each week, Reddit’s artist-in-residence Shitty_Watercolour will illustrate a sampling of Reddit’s best comments, handpicked from some of his favorite communities like Ask Reddit, Shower Thoughts, and more.

In this week’s feature for Upvoted, Shitty (okay, real name: Hector Janse van Rensburg) has brought to life an Ask Reddit post that prompts:

What is the best thing you have ever heard a child say?

“When my kiddo was about four years old, I heard my son talking to himself in the bathroom and went to check on him. He was using a small piece of cardboard to push a spider in the direction of the bath tub—talking to the spider the entire time.

‘Excuse me, sir. Pardon me, sir, can I invite you to perhaps travel this way? Oh, no, not that way, sir. Over here, sir. Pardon me, sir, I don’t feel you’re listening…”

— Reddit user chickaboomba

“Three year old niece, while I was driving her home one day: ‘I knew the dinosaurs would come and get me one day…’ (With a sigh of acceptance.)

There were two large cranes working on a bridge…”

— Reddit user AgnesOfthePunk

“My uncle took his son out to dinner one night, and they ran into my uncle’s boss.

Uncle says to his son, ‘[Son], this is Daddy’s boss.’

The kid gets this look of absolute rage on his face and declares, ‘You’re not my Daddy’s boss! My Mommy’s my Daddy’s boss!'”

— Reddit user anglerfishtacos

“Just a few days ago, my 5 year old daughter is trying on her Crayon costume and asks me, ‘Daddy, what are you going to be for Halloween?’

Me: ‘Surly and old.’

[Daughter]: ‘Oh. That’s what you were last year.'”

— Reddit user TrouserDumplings

“On a road trip with my friend and her 6 year old nephew, and he’s in the backseat talking. My friend said, ‘Jake, who are you talking to?’

‘Myself.’

‘Well what are you talking about?’

After five long seconds of silence, Jake said, ‘I don’t know. I wasn’t listening.'”

— Reddit user 186282_4