Jessica Walsh

Did you see Timothy today?

Yes.

What did y’all do together?

We had our first date at The Fat Radish in the Lower East Side. They have the best roasted carrots, and my favorite tequila jalapeño drink.

Did anything interesting happen?

Before the date, Tim had a messenger deliver a cute note: “Me + You x 40. Ready?”

Truthfully, I am quite nervous. However, I know that when an opportunity scares me, I must go for it. I don’t like having fears. No matter what the outcome, it will certainly be an interesting experience. Hopefully we can have some fun along the way, too.

Did you learn anything new about Timothy?

We discussed Tim’s relationship patterns, and how he’s in a constant cycle between three women. There is always one girl he’s really excited about, a second girl he’s been seeing for a few weeks and is starting to get bored with, and a third girl he’s been seeing a month or two and is getting ready to call quits.

He told me that when his mother got pregnant, his father made her choose between keeping the child or staying with him. It seems to me his dating style could result from this. He breaks off relationships before they get too serious to avoid the risk of abandonment. He’s built up this reputation for himself as a “player,” but I see past the façade. He’s been a great friend, and I know he’s a very kind person. We all have our issues and cope with life differently. Sometimes I think the “normal” people are just people you don’t know well enough yet.

Did you learn anything new about yourself?

We talked about relationships with parents, and how many girls have some “daddy issues.” I don’t have dad issues. I heart my dad!

My parents married at a young age, and have a successful marriage. I wonder if that is part of the reason I am always trying to find the right person and why I feel like such failure when a relationship doesn’t work out.

How do you feel about this relationship/project right now?

I think I have have some sort of guard up preventing myself from seeing Tim as anything more than a very close friend. As his relationship patterns are the opposite of mine, a part of me fears that if we were to really date, one of us might wind up getting hurt. I don’t want to ruin our friendship. We also have a tight group of friends, and I think we are both afraid to compromise that.

Is there anything that you want to do differently?

In my work and other aspects of life, I am uncomfortable with comfortable. But when it comes to relationships, I do seek secure relationships that are clearly defined. I know I should relax and open myself up to vulnerability, so I can learn to enjoy dating more in the future.

Additional comments?

Tim insisted on being a gentleman and paying for dinner, which was very sweet of him, but I want to get the next one.