Couldn't Decide Which Gun To Bring, Ran Into Black Person and Ran Away, My FEMA Camp Counsellor Wouldn't Let Me and Other Excuses For the Fail of the American Spring Uprising

Sadly, Operation American Spring only drew about 73 patriots, not the 30 million slated to storm the citadels of Kenyan tyranny and bring down the government. Happily, many more unpatriots took to Twitter to offer likely excuses for the massive fail: "Just got the Atlas Shrugged Coloring Book and was having someone read it to me," "Got lost because the map wasn't in the Bible which we also have never read," "Put hood on backwards and ran into tree," "There were 30 million people - math is just a theory" etc.

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