The user says having the dad fill out a legal document to opt out could help prevent the dad from appearing in the child's life later on and causing problems. Photo: Getty Images

What if men, uninterested in becoming fathers, could just sign a piece of paper soon after their child's birth saying they wanted to "opt out" of parenthood? While it might sound crazy, that's the gist of one U.K. woman's recent post on an internet forum—and it's stirring up a heated debate. On June 19, Mumsnet user jemimapuddleduckpancake asked people what their thoughts were on giving men the ability to sign away any involvement in their baby's life. The woman said the idea came from a friend—a woman who had a child out of a friends-with-benefits situation with a man. Although he didn't want the baby from the beginning and didn't help during the first couple years, he recently "decided that he wants to have access to the child and start to build a relationship now [that] he is older." According to the user, the friend is "deeply hurt over all the things she has had to go through alone because of his previous lack of involvement and support. But she's worried that she is totally unable to prevent him from ever having access, and feels that he has put her in a horrible and stressful situation." To prevent such a thing from happening to other women who had accidental pregnancies, the friend proposed the following solution: Before the baby is 1-month-old, a man who wants to opt-out of fatherhood would sign a document that states that he "has no desire to be a part of the child's life in any way, will not ever be able to seek any type of access, and will not pay money." By having men sign the document, it would save mom and child "significant stress and heartache." For the user, who says she believes in "total equality between the sexes," allowing men to opt out would make things fair, writing: "When a woman falls pregnant from a one night stand or casual-sex type scenario, she can choose whether to keep the baby, or go through an abortion or put the baby up for adoption, thus ultimately 'opting out' of parenthood. A man in the same situation has no such right to opt out of parenthood. He has to accept the woman's decision and his life will be impacted by the woman's decision."

Concluding her post, she clarified that while she thinks letting men "opt out" could help, she is not "fully persuaded" by the concept, and that she's mostly throwing the idea out there to hear what people think. Well, people certainly responded; the thread she started currently has total of 1000 comments. Some supported the idea. User SpacedOutDog wrote, "Yes, [men] should be able to. Too often we hear the tired, old 'well he shouldn't have had sex then,' but the reality is, they BOTH had sex, knowing the potential consequences. The mother has the option to get rid, he doesn't. If the woman really, really didn't want a baby, she would do everything to prevent it. There's enough contraception choices freely available," wrote one user who doesn't seem aware of birth control's not-quite-100-percent effectiveness. Mawof3soontobe commented, "I 100 percent agree that men should be able to opt out just as much as women should be allowed to have abortions unquestioned. The only issue is the child will be aware their father did not want to be active and some people struggle with the rejection, but lots of people feel the same with adoption. People find it a horrifying crass decision but realistically I believe men have rights too! Women have far too much of the power when it comes to getting pregnant and continuing it to 'trap' a man, so if you think about it, an official opt-out termination of parental responsibility and rights would prevent such women taking tactics like these. Yes, most women are not like this, but it is reality for a lot all the same." Groan. But many others said the idea, even though it was suggested by a mom, would actually hurt women, and that the example the user showed to justify the concept was unfair. User 53rdWay wrote, "But you’re not comparing the same thing. You’re saying 'women can choose not to continue a pregnancy, therefore men should be able to choose not to fulfill their obligations towards a child that’s already been born. [I'm] not interested in arguing for the rights of deadbeat dads to be even more deadbeat, whether or not it’s dressed up as equality. Nope." "It's a choice for her between two difficult, life-changing options. She can't just choose to opt out. If she chooses not to continue, she has to go through a medical procedure which can have on going health or emotional consequences," wrote BanginChoons. "There already are men who do opt out of parenting with no consequence. What you are suggesting is that men can opt out of paying, which results in hardship for a child, a minor with no means to support themselves. It's a no from me."