Ursula Andress, who appeared in the first Bond film, Dr No, says of current 007, Daniel Craig: ‘He’s a great actor, but not James Bond.’ Adding that her old co-star, Sir Sean Connery, remains the ‘true’ Bond. Now 78, Ursula might be regarded as the true Bond girl. She emerged, bikini-clad, from the ocean in the 1962 movie. Morecambe and Wise later parodied the scene. Their half-naked ‘Ursula’ wondered, suggestively, if there was anything she could do for the boys. A startled Eric demands: ‘You haven’t got a chip pan!?’

Ursula Andress, pictured right, says that Daniel Craig, pictured left, is a great actor, but not James Bond

The second wife of ex-Telegraph boss Conrad Black, sexy writer Barbara Amiel sighs: ‘The Right’s long-standing problem is not that it lacks great intellectuals and great writers, but that it has never taken culture seriously. By default, the world of cultural literacy— theatre, books, entertainment—has become the property of the Left.’ Not while boilingly Right-wing Babs, 74, is with us!

Texan ex-model Jerry Hall, 58, pictured, tells Harper’s Bazaar: ‘I think plastic surgery is dangerous and makes people look a bit silly. There’s nothing wrong with a handsome woman with a few lines on her face.’ No doubt her ex-husband – Sir Mick Jagger, 71 – agrees. Not that there’s many lines on the face of model Alicia Rountree, 28, with whom the wrinkled brute now canoodles.

Texan model Jerry Hall says plastic surgery is dangerous and makes people look a bit silly

Distracted by shadow chancellor Ed Balls’s heckling while discussing rail services in the Commons, David Cameron snaps: ‘We’re hearing a lot from the shadow chancellor today. He told us that he was a “long slow burn”... but I have to say the only thing lying in ashes is Labour’s economic credibility.’ The PM refers to Balls’s description himself as a ‘long slow burn’ between the sheets, in a debate about politicians as lovers. Balls’s stony-faced consort, shadow home secretary Yvette Cooper, sat nearby.

NO 10 officials have asked the Department for Education to find out the names of any children who’ve signed up for trips to Syria, presumably fearing more ‘jihadi schoolgirl’ stories. Shouldn’t they ask the chatelaine of No 10, Samantha Cameron, to help with this problem? She visited Syrian refugee camps for Save The Children in 2013.

Speaking in the Commons after the ‘cash for access’ incident, ex-Labour minister Jack Straw had to give way to interrupting Tory MP, Jacob Rees-Mogg. Who, instead of hurling a barb, as might have been expected, paid gracious tribute to Straw’s chairmanship of the House of Commons Governance Committee, adding: ‘I hope he doesn’t mind me interrupting him to put that on record.’ Rees-Mogg explains: ‘I admire him. At Christmas he arrived with mince pies for the committee.’

Couldn't the Duke of Cambridge have spoken to reporters pressing for a comment about performing elephants kept in chains adjacent to a wildlife sanctuary he was visiting in China? Surely it isn’t beyond William to think of something concerned yet diplomatic.