Want more great deals? Sign up for our Daily Digest emails!

Leave some for the rest of us!

Hey, you can only buy 15 of these.

The Rainbow Connection

So...can we have rainbows back yet?

As a straight white man, I've got it pretty good. Nobody has much of a prejudice about me, there are no hurdles I must overcome if I wish to succeed. Everything's pretty hunky-dorey over here. I only ask for one thing...

Can we please have rainbows back? I know, I know, they have been a symbol of gay rights for decades, and I think that's great. And we should definitely find a replacement symbol for that cause. It's just that it's a little unfair that the rest of us aren't allowed to use rainbows, don't you think?

Let's be clear: Rainbows are great. Name something that wouldn't look better with a rainbow arching majestically behind it. A centaur? Yup. A beautiful woman? YES. A smaller rainbow? You betcha. Why does it have to be a "thing" every time I hang a rainbow banner over my front door? I JUST LIKE RAINBOWS.

We straight white men haven't asked for a lot lately. It's been give-give-give with us. So please, gay community, do us a solid and give us back rainbows. We'll let you marry or something -- promise.

Wear this shirt: at the start of the party.

Don't wear this shirt: at the end of the party.

This shirt tells the world: "If it's yellow and fizzy, I'm in a tizzy."

We call this color: All's well with brown ale

Back to top