Here's a load of various quotes from Jonny Greenwood in interviews and the such...



[on playing Creep at MTV's beach house]

"At least we played well. But I don't think the irony was lost on people. All these gorgeous, bikinied girls shaking their mammary glands, and we're playing Creep and looking terrible."



[on how he joined the band]

"The rest of the band were basically friends," So it was me following them around and begging them to let me be in their band for two or three years. And they finally let me in on the harmonica, actually, and then the keyboards, and finally the guitar."



"No, I am not interested in women or sex or anything."



"Like the rest of the band, Thom sort of doesn't have any friends, really--which is a bit weird. We got back to Oxford after touring...and it was really sad. We all got home, and I phoned up one or two people that we knew, who were away, and then we ended up sort of phoning each other up again."



[on recording Sulk]

"I was too ill to stand when this was done, I played on the floor, unable to tell what was good or bad. Mexico's revenge."



"Presented with a song like Exit Music, it´s impossible to know what to add without actually making it worse. How can you play along when it´s already there?"



"I'd happily talk about nothing."



"My style is so tightly tied in with our songs that I don't think you could even ask me to quit Radiohead and play guitar for another band. I don't think I could do it. It would probably reveal me to be the bluffer that I believe I am. That's how it feels. I wouldn't have the confidence to do anything but this."



"I'm being childish."



[on OK Computer]

"I don't think it's that good an album, really, There are good songs on it but there are songs that just sound like dead ends, that sound like it's the last time we can do like that. I don't think we've finished yet."



[on Kid A]

"Most people who approach us say that they love the album, but are surprised to find out that other people are enjoying it as well"



"I'm from Oxford!"



"Obviously there will be a backlash. If you believe the hype you have to believe a backlash too. Any criticism we get, is always stuff we´ve already criticised ourselves.If you read one bad review and a hundred good ones, the bad one always seems to make more sense to you."



[on the track The Bends]

"Schlang! Schlang-schlang, schlang; schlang... schlang! That's The Bends, full of air."



"I like playing the stuff where I don´t know what I´m gonna play. Like the end of Fake Plastic Trees or the end of Paranoid Android - stuff where I can do anything and no one notices or cares."



[on his school in Abingdon]

"It was a bit like Alcatraz. My housemaster would measure the bottom width of our trousers - we wore drainpipes back then - then he'd send us home to put on wider ones. It was that kind of place."



"It's conceited to deny there's any affection, but having said that, I enjoy putting on the arm brace before I play. It's like taping up your fingers before a boxing match. It's a ritual."



[on drugs]

"I'm awful around them. Anything that messes with my brain is a ferociously bad idea."



"There's only 12 power chords, and I think we've had about 20 years of them, so maybe it's time to move on, aye?"



[on Oasis]

"People enjoy their music. Yeah, they make outrageous media comments, but the media enjoys them"



"I've never taken advantage of the opportunity of one-night stands. It's like treating sex like sneezing. Sex is a fairly disgusting sort of tufted, smelly-area kind of activity, which is too intimate to engage in with strangers. I'm all for erotic in terms of imagination, but the physical side is something different."



"I never listened to guitar playing in any band, ever, I still don't, really. Worshiping guitarists is all buying guitar magazines. Anybody can play guitar, but writing songs is a far harder challenge. I'd rather idolize someone like Elvis Costello than I would Steve Vai."



"We used to go into the IRC rooms and pretend to be us. But at the end of the session, we would say 'I confess, my name is Steve and I am from Ottawa, I'm just sitting here with all my Radiohead books'. Then someone would come in the room and pretend to be Colin, even though Colin was downstairs playing bass. It got very twisted."



[his vision of paradise]

"A big empty room with the band and all these half-written songs. It's at times like that that I enjoy being in the group the most : when we're in the studio and take place in front of our amplifiers for days. You can only hear the drums and the voice in that stage. And when finally someone dares to ask "What do you think of this?", then we start working together. That's the most beautiful moment."



"I think guitarists are really over-admired and over-revered. I don't mind when people are telling me about their 1971 Firebird, but it's the same thing as people telling me about their car or something. It's fine if you have an interest. By talking with me though, you could be interviewing a novelist about guitars. It's the same thing, except I don't write that well either. I like my guitar and I enjoy playing it."



"There was that American video woman... She came over with us on a video shoot and said, 'Can't you make the little chap jump up and down a bit?' That kind of says it all."



[on a naked groupie who was banging on Jonny's hotel room door in Los Angeles in 1993]

"Luckily, I wasn't in."



"I listen to it like I'm IN the person watching the band. I kind of feel like when I saw Throwing Muses when I was 14, whatever, 13, thinking, 'No one else is really watching it like I'm watching it,' which is very selfish, but I think everyone does it. It feels like you're in command."



[to an interviewer]

"You've got a telletubbies watch on"



[on the paranoid android single success]

"We were assuming that radio stations around the globe would let it gather dust on some corner shelf and carry on playing Green Day or whatever turns them on."



"Our guitars are more clitoris substitutes than phallus ones. We stroke them in a nicer, gentler way."



[on people who stole some equipment in 1995]

"I hope their next shit is a porcupine."



"Right now my mind is on the people who stole our instruments,and, specifically, the person with my guitar, which will no doubt end its days having Green Day songs worked out on it. A better fate was deserved- and while the reverence given to guitars annoys me, I shall miss it."



"It wasn't quite that precious. I didn't say, 'That's it darling, my artistic juices are fully spent, I'm creatively drained' and throw the back of my hand to my forehead,"