Thanks to Josh and Barnabas for helping me on this post.

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What would happen if Christian publishers were actually honest with their book titles? You’d probably end up with books like this.

Don’t Waste Your Life: A Millennial’s Guide To Making Semi-Rash Decisions Out Of A Wartime Mentality

I Kissed Dating Goodbye: How To Not Talk To Girls Until You’re 25 Years Old

Heaven Is For Real: A Book About Heaven From The Perspective Of A Four Year Old Who Had A Near Death Experience And For Some Reason We Believe Him More Than The Bible

Strange Fire: John MacArthur’s Lifelong Rivalry With Benny Hinn

Blue Like Jazz: It’s A Journey, An Authentic Journey, and I Want To Invite You Into My Story

A Year Of Biblical Womanhood: One Woman’s Valiant Attempt To Create Straw-Man Arguments and Massively Misinterpret A Lot Of The Bible, All the While Saying, “You Go Girl!”

Radical: All You Rich, Fat, Lazy Christians Need To Stop Eating At McDonald’s And Become Missionaries To Africa

The Shack: Oprah Is Gonna Love This

Love Wins: Rob Bell Yet Again Discovers Something New About God That Thousands Of Faithful Christians Before Him Have Totally Missed

The Zimzum of Love: No We’re Serious Here. This Isn’t A Joke.

What He Must Be: You Wanna Date My Daughter? You Have To Ask Yourself One Question: Do You Feel Lucky? Well Punk, Do Ya?

Love and Respect: Building A Marriage On False Dichotomies

Real Marriage: Skip the Good Stuff For The Chapter On Sex

The Lord of the Rings: The Christian-Approved Version of Harry Potter

Left Behind: Scare Enough Christians To Get Really Rich

Circle Maker: No, I’m Not A Pre-School Coloring Book

Religious Affections: This Book Will Look Great On Your Coffee Table

The Pastor’s Kid: Just As Messed Up As You Thought

The Reason for God: Because Tim Keller Is Smarter Than Your Atheist Friends

Household Gods: Because My Book About Christians Smoking Didn’t Make You Angry Enough