Hey America! Remember that time I said Donald Trump seems kind of Hitler-like and you were all like, "Nah," and now two months later it seems like maybe I was right? Word, that was pretty great. I mean, except for the part where we could maybe end up electing a fascist president, obviously. I bring that up because this week's column is about another thing I hope I'm wrong about, which is that World War III could be way closer to happening than we realize. We talk about it on this week's Unpopular Opinion podcast ...

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... where I'm joined by Cracked editor Alex Schmidt and musician Danger Van Gorder. It's also what I'm talking about here today. Let's do it!

Given the headlines we've all seen recently, it makes sense that any talk of conflict on a global scale would and should start with ISIS. This one will not. Instead, let's talk about monkeys.

In 1925, a substitute high school teacher named John Scopes was accused of violating Tennessee's Butler Act, which outlawed teaching evolution in state-funded schools. The ensuing court case was dubbed "the Scopes Monkey Trial" ...