ANAHEIM, CA — After taking a vow of silence in June, Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy has intensified her “Cold War” with Star Wars fans and critics by moving into a shanty town at the still-under-construction planet of Batuu. When complete, the remote outpost will be the centerpiece of Disneyland’s Star Wars: Galaxy’s Edge attraction, but at the moment it’s home to an executive who appears to be on the edge herself.

“She scared the bejeesus out of us at first… wandering around with this vacant look in her eyes. Wouldn’t say a word either, but over time, the crew’s gotten used to her. She’s like our friendly neighborhood ghost, keeping the evil spirits away. And we need that — a lot can go wrong on an active site — but since Kat’s been here, no injuries,” said site foreman Frank Terrulo.

The crew of nearly 200 men are literally moving mountains to transform large portions of the park into a living, breathing Star Wars immersive experience. According to them, the despondent woman, who they’ve begun to leave “Kat” food for, is most definitely Kathleen Kennedy, and not a random theme park junkie who snuck into the park.

“Bro, she’s wearing a tee shirt that says The Force Is Female. And honestly, who else would have doodled Bob Iger like that in every one of our porta potties,” said crane operator Patrick Ironside.

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