Kids - Twoing, twoing, twoing, twoing, twoing...

Ice cream man - Oh!

Kid - Thanks!

Herb - Wa hoooo! I'm gonna be a dad!

I just talked to my wife! The baby's gonna be delivered any minute!

Guy in car - Hey! Get out of the way!

Herb - Hey! Hey! I'm gonna be a dad!

Congratulations. Woo hoo!

Fire Hydrant - Good for you, Herb!

Don't even think about it.

Herb - Woo hoooooo!

Guy with bottles - Hey!

Herb - Woah! Woh! Ha ha! Hah hoh hah! Sorry. Hey, how are ya? Nice to meet you. I'm gonna be a dad!

Guy with bottles - Congrats!

Herb - Woo hoooooo! Hey, Mr. Nuts! Did ya hear the news?

Mr. Nuts - Yeah!

Herb - Beautiful day, isn't it?

I'm here! I'm here! I'm here.

Lydia - Oh, honey, I'm so sorry. You missed the delivery.

Herb - Oh.

Lydia - But it's okay. Making the baby's the fun part.

Honey, I think you got the wrong, uh...

Herb - No, hah hah, I don't need to see the directions.

Push! Push! Puuuuuush!

Lydia - Hmmmmmm! Nnngh! Gnnnnnngh!

Herb - HMM.

Lydia - Nnnngh-oh!

Herb - Ogh!

Lydia - Hahahahahahahahahahahahhoh! Ooh!

Rodney - *crying*

Lydia - 12 hours of labour. Oh, but was worth it.

Herb - Look at him. Look at him!

Rodney Copperbottom. He's got your mom's eyes and my dad's nose. I knew we were smart to save those parts!

This Copperbottom's gonna do great things for the world, I can feel it!

Lydia - Honey?

Herb - What?

Lydia - What's that extra piece?

Herb - Oh. Oh no, they always put in...an extra.....hah hah hah....we did want a boy, right?

Mm hmm. This won't hurt a bit, son!

Rodney - *extensive crying*

Herb - Oo oo oo oo ooo! Goo goo goo goo gooo! Huh hueh! Got your nose! Got your nose!

Got your... Wh-

Rodney - *still crying*

Herb - Heh heh.....heh....

Rodney - *more crying becomes no crying*

*baby blabbering then laughter*

*puff* *puff*

Herb - Hi son!

Rodney - Are those my big boy parts?

Herb - They sure are!

Rodney - Woooow!

.....they're not.....shiny....

Herb - Well, they're not brand new, they're....pr..preowned, so.....

Lydia - They're...hand-me-downs! From your cousin, Jeffrey!

Herb - And they're only for a year.

Rodney - *more puffing and grunting*

*some other kids and adults say some shit but I'm not dedicated enough to this to figure it all out*

Drum - Ow! Owhow! AAGH!

Rodney - Hey Dad! Who's that?

Herb - That, Rodney, is Bigweld. The greatest robot in the world.

Rodney - I thought you were the greatest robot in the world.

Herb - No, besides me! He's the head of Bigweld Industries!

He invents things that makes everyone's life better!

Rodney - Could I meet him?

Herb - Sure, maybe someday!

Rodney - Dad?

Herb - Yeah?

Rodney - What do you do?

Herb - Me? Oh, I work in a big fancy restaurant!

I'm a dishwasher!

Narrator - And now, live from Robot City, it's The Bigweld Show!

Rodney - Waa hoooo! Oh yeah! Uh huh! Come on, Dad, you're missing it!

Herb - Alright, alright, Rodney, alright, I'm coming! I'm coming. I had to bring work home with me again, I'm sorry. Mr. Gunk has really been piling it up.

Narrator - And now, the host of our show, BIIIIIIIIIIIIGWELD!

Bigweld - Welcome! This week, I thought you might like to take a look around Bigweld Industries.

This here is the front gate. Kinda cute, ain't it?

Good morning, Tim!

Tim the Asshole - Good morning, Mr. Bigweld sir!

Bigweld - Tim, who closed the front gate?

Tim the Asshole - Well, I just thought since, uh....

Bigweld - Ooooh, we never shut the gate, Tim!

Shutting this gate means shutting out fresh ideas!

You see, everyday robots come here from hither and yond, giving us new ideas! And I listen to every single one of them.

One Robot - Hey, look at that!

Robots - Hm? OOOH!

Bigweld - So remember! Whether a bot is made of new parts, old parts or spare parts, you can shine no matter what you're made of!

Rodney - He's talking to me, dad!

Herb - He sure is.

Bigweld - Okay, folks, let's get to inventing!

You know, I love to tinker. But all the tinkering in the world isn't useful unless it starts with a good idea.

Rodney - AAAAAAAAAAGH!

Bigweld - So, look around for a need, and start coming up with ideas to fill that need! One idea will lead to another, and before you know it....

You've done it! See a need, fill a need!

Rodney - That's it, Dad! I have to look for......

Herb - *snoring*

Rodney - ......a need........

Easy now.....

Huh huh.

Wonderbot - Heh heh. Hmm? *INTENSE WONDERBOT SMASHING NOISES*

Rodney - Waargh! Nngh! No! Nuh! Nah! Uugh! Nuugh! Uugh! Owowowowow!

Herb - Hey there, sport!

Rodney - NNGH. Oh, hi.

Herb - These are your 12-year old parts. They're-

Rodney - Hand-me-downs. I-I know, Dad. I don't mind.

Herb - They are from your cousin.....Veronica!

Lydia - You know how popular sheeee issss!

Rodney - Uuuuuuuurgh.

Wonderbot - Woo wooo!

Rodney - UUURGH

Wonderbot - *wonderous laughter*

*Pomp & Circumstance*

Un-college Robots that isn't Rodney - *the sound of much rejoicing*

*Gomez - Silence*

*the sounds of music and people talking in a big fancy restaurant*

Herb - Oh. Oh, hehey. Hey.

As soon as you reach the age where your warranty expires, you start falling apart.

Pretty soon there's gonna be more duct tape than me.

Rodney - Can I try it now, Dad?

Herb - Oh, oh Rodney....eehuh.........I...have you worked all the kinks out of it yet?

Rodney - Come on. This is gonna make your job easy!

I invented it for you!

Herb - Okay. Let's try it!

Rodney - Great! Okay, this is it.

Wonderbot - Dah dah daaaah!

Rodney - Wonderbot, go to work!

*ok fuck this im not properly commenting on any wonderbot noises from now on*

Worker 1 - Woah!

Worker 2 - Watch out!

Yeah!

Worker 1 - Yeah!

Wh...hey!

Mr. Gunk - COPPERBOTTOM

Herb - Mr. Gunk!

Mr. Gunk - What is that?!

Herb - Oh, th.....my son made it!

Mr. Gunk - What's it doing?!

Rodney - Mr. Gunk, please, you're making it nervous!

Mr. Gunk - IT'S WRECKING MY KITCHEN

I'll stop it!

Rodney - NO!

Mr. Gunk - Gah! Pff, paah...son, huh?

Rodney - It wasn't his fault, he had nothing to do w-

Herb - Yes, sir, he's a brilliant boy. An inventor.

Mr. Gunk - You! Clean up this mess! And YOU! Get out!

Inventor. You're the hand-me-down son of a dishwasher and that's all you'll ever be!

Somebody scrape this crud off of me. And serve it to the customers.

Ticket Guy - Road trip or one way?

Rodney - One way.

Lydia - *relief* There you are. I told you I'd find him! It's a mother's instinct.

Herb - Instinct? He left us a note! I'm leaving, I'll be at the train station!

Lydia - Nevermind. Pick up that suitcase, you're coming home right now.

Rodney - No, Mom. I have to do this! I'm going to Robot City tonight! I'm gonna get a job, and I'm gonna help Dad pay back Mr. Gunk!

Lydia - Talk to him.

Herb - Uh, Ro-

Lydia - ROBOT CITY?! You're just a kid!

Rodney - I'm never gonna be somebody here! I-I wanna be an inventor, I wanna meet Bigweld, I wanna BE somebody!

Lydia - You are somebody. Somebody who's not getting on that train!

Rodney - Yes I AM.

Lydia - Talk to him!

Herb - One ticket for Robot City.

Lydia - Where are you going?

Herb - Not me, him.

Lydia - But....

Herb - Rodney, did you know that when I was your age, I wanted to be a musician?

I played pretty well, too! But...but my Dad was worried that I wouldn't be able to make a living, so I got re-fitted to be a dishwasher.

Now, I'm not complaining! But, I've always said to myself "If I could do it over again, I would follow my dream."

You've got greatness in you, Rodney. Never doubt it.

You go to Robot City, you go meet Bigweld and you show him your big ideas. And Rodney? Never, NEVER give up.

Lydia - *strange sound I can't put into words*

Train guy - All aboard! *crying*

Rodney - Heh.....uurgh, Mom....

I won't let you down, Dad. I'll make you proud!

Herb - I know you will.

*sound of people talking in the train station*

Rodney - Woooow.

Ex-excuse me, I wonder if you-I wonder if you co-oh. Could you direct me to Bigweld Indus-...what?!

Fender - Perfect! That'll be 50 bucks.

Rodney - 50 bucks?! For what?!

Fender - A beautiful picture of your first moment in Robot City!

There! I captured your second moment! That's another 50 dollars.

Are you keeping track?

Come on, work with me, work with me! More pout, less pose...

That's-a great. Inside of you is a fashion model just waiting to throw up!

Give me those eyes, big eyes!

Give me big anime eyes.

YEAH, I'M LOVIN IT, LOVIN IT, LOVIN IT!

Rodney - I DON'T WANT ANY PICTURES!

Fender - You don't?

Rodney - NO!

Fender - Well that's alright, there's no film in the camera. Would you like to buy a map of the stars homes?

Where'd he go?

Suspicious Guy - Psst. Buddy. Wanna buy a watch?

The watches - Don't buy us. We're fakes!

Metal Detector Guy - Next. Whoop!

Guy That Was Detected - *grunts that sound like you're removing yourself limb by limb*

Rodney - Excuse me, h-how do I get to Bigweld Industries?

Dancing Guy - *Chingy - Right Thurr*

Rodney - Oh, great....

Nevermind!

Phone Guy - *incomprehensable words*

Rodney - Hi, excuse me. How do I get to Bigweld Industries?

Phone Guy - You take the *something something something* Crosstown Express *something something* system.

Rodney - Excuse me?

Phone Guy - Bigweld Industries?

Rodney - ...oh. Hehey. Yeah. Thanks.

Phone Guy - *incomprehensable word*

Female Phone Guy - Crosstown Express to Foundry District with stops at Bigweld Industries and Battery Park only.

Rodney - Wow.

Female Phone Guy - Please tighten all spools, nuts, bolts and detachable appendages. Riders with hot oil pressure are advised to take the local.

Rodney - *sound of getting into half of a ball*

Female Phone Guy - Thank you and have a nice day.

Fender - *sounds of sleeping*

Nooo, noooo, *still sleeping*

What th-woah. Say, are you following me?

Rodney - No.

Fender - First time on the Crosstown Express?

Rodney - Well, actually, I-

Fender - OOOOOOH BOY!

Well, good luck in the big city. If you can make it here, you can make it anywhere.

And if you can't make it here, welcome to the club.

Rodney - Woooow.

Fender - Oh no.

Rodney - What? What is it?

Fender - We're going off the track, we're gonna crash!

Rodney - WHAT?

Fender - I DON'T WANNA DIE!

Rodney and also Fender - WHOOOOOOOOOOAH

Rodney - *probably screaming*

Fender - AAAAAAAAAA HAAAA HAAA HAAAAAAAAAA! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW! Ow!

Ha ha, I was just kidding.

Rodney - Phew.

Fender - Just, put your head between your legs.

Rodney - Huh?

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-*sound of going off into the distance*

*more screaming*

*still more screaming*

Fender - YEAH

Whoop! There goes my stop.

Ohp! I tell you, the things that fall off me, it's embarrassing.

Rodney - WHOAHOAHOAHOAHOAHOAHOAHOAHOAH

Fender - BLEEEEEEEGH. Sorry.

You know, it used to be a lot worse. They had this giant hammer!

Rodney - WHUURGH!

Fender - Oh! They bought it back.

Rodney - EEEEEEYAAAAAUGH

Fender - DOEY DEH DOEY

Rodney - Wheey, augh! Uurgh!

Fender - Just stick with me kid, I know this town like the back of my hand.

Hey, that's new.

Wh-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHUUUUHAAAHAAAHAAAAA!

Rodney - Wooow.

Tim the Asshole - Yoohoo! Excuse me!

Can I help you?

Rodney - Sorry, I-I....

Hey, you're Tim from the TV Show!

Tim the Asshole - That's me!

Rodney - Well hey Tim! Who closed the gate? It's never supposed to be.

Tim the Asshole - Yeah, okay. What do you want?

Rodney - Hm? Oh. I'd like to see Mr. Bigweld. I'm an inventor!

Wonderbot - *show-off noises*

Tim the Asshole - Oooooh, why didn't ya say so? Stand back!

Rodney - Thanks!

WHAT?!

Tim the Asshole - *asshole laughter* I gotcha! You see, cuz you were all excited, and then BOOM!

*more asshole laughter* Alright, I had my laugh. Go on in.

Rodney - DYOOOOOOY!

Tim the Asshole - *even more asshole laughter* Now that's funny *asshole laughter*

The second time! *asshole laughter* It's...you really think I'm gonna let you in! Ha ha ha ha! But I'm not!

Sorry kid, nobody gets in. Company rules!

Rodney - Company ru...well then how do they hire new inventors?

Tim the Asshole - They DON'T! Those days are over! My advice, hmmm, come back two years ago, then the job is yours! *asshole laughter*

Bigweld - So remember! Whether a bot is made of new parts, old parts or spare parts, you can shine no matte what you're made o-

Ratchet - My goodness. What a remarkable legacy. Concern for the common robot.

You don't come across old-fashioned values like that anymore, friends. And for good reason. THERE'S NO MONEY IN IT!

Helloooo? Memo to Bigweld: We're not a charity!

That's why old fat face no longer sits in the big chair. Hee-he's a RELIC!

So I don't wanna hear another "Where's Bigweld? Where nunununununu"

Worker - We'll see him next month at the Bigweld Ball! He always goes to that!

AAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaa

Ratchet - Now, let's get to the business of sucking every loose penny out of Mr. and Mrs. Average Knucklehead.

What's our big-ticket item?

Upgrades, people, upgrades! That's how we make the dough.

Now if we're telling robots that no matter what they're made of, they're "fine", how can we expect them to feel crummy enough about themselves to buy our upgrades and make themselves look better?

Therefore, I've come up...with a new slogan.

Why be you when you can be NEW?

Workers - *sounds of distress over sudden light*

Ratchet - I gotta tell ya, I think it's brilliant, but, honestly, I'd like to hear what you employees think about this.

Workers - *cheering*

One of the workers - Out of the ball park, Ratchet!

Wonderbot - *sounds of carrying a robot*

Rodney - Just...don't look down!

Wonderbot - *sounds of scaredness over looking down*

Rodney - *sounds of trying to still be held by Wonderbot* Hey!

Ah-ow! Get off! Shoo! Go off! N-

Ow! Aargh! Get off me-aagh!

Ratchet - Cappy, you uh-mm hmm, you haven't said a word.

Cappy - It...gave me...chills.

Ratchet - Thank you. Thank you.

Cappy - But...

Ratchet - But?

Cappy - I'm just wondering, why would robots buy new upgrades if parts are so much cheaper?

Ratchet - Oh, right! Well, that's easy because as of today we are no longer MAKING SPARE PARTS!

Workers - *gasp*

Ratchet - Do you know what I call robots who can't afford upgrades? SCRAP METAL!

You see them on the streets, mis-shapen, rust covered, they...turn your insides out!

You wanna run home and scrub yourself!

Now, Cappy, I want your department to push our new slogan.

In fact, I'm moving you into the office right next to mine.

We'll be working very very closely together on this one. Won't that be fun?

Cappy - Oodles.

Workers - *gasping again*

Rodney - *nervousness*

Wonderbot - *sounds of being about to attack a guy*

Workers - *screaming*

Rodney - Oh, so sorry, I-I...

Ratchet - What th-

Rodney - Sir, I-I-I am a young inventor, and...

And it has been my dream to come to Robot City and...and to present my ideas to Mr. Bigweld!.....who doesn't seem to be here...

Ratchet - Gee, no, no, but while he's away he left me in charge.

Rodney - Oh. Well then let me show you what this can do!

Wonderbot - *angry sounds*

Ratchet - I have a better idea. Why don't you let me show you what it can do?

It can do THIS!

Wonderbot - *screaming*

Rodney - *grunts and screaming of trying to get off a magnet* Ow!

Eeeuh!

Tim the Asshole - So how'd it go?

Rodney - What the heck...heck is going on around here?! Some...some highly polished jerk is sitting in...in..in Bigweld's chair!

Tim the Asshole - Mmm, and you're sitting on the sidewalk. Magnetized! *asshole laughter*

Rodney - Listen. I'll be back! And I'm gonna get to the bottom of this!

Tim the Asshole - Wow, when you pick a lost cause you really commit! *asshole laughter* Where do they make dreamers like you? GET LOST, FREAK!

*asshole laughter*

Rodney - Huh? Aagh! Argh! *other grunts* Oooh!

*screaming because of incoming trash*

Upgrade Guy - Ha haah! Whooh, whooooah!

Rodney - *he's still screaming*

*grunting about being in a barrel and hitting buildings while falling down*

*Tom Waits - Underground*

Madame Gasket - Aaaaa ha ha ha ha ha haa!

Alright! Break time!

Chop Workers - Huh?

Gasket - Alright, break time's over! Chop chop! Ha ha ha ha ha haaa! Ooh! Look who's here.

Ratchet - Hi Mom!

Gasket - Hi, sweetie! How's my boy?

Ratchet - Great! I did just what you told me. No more spare parts! In a couple of weeks, all those broken down losers out there are gonna be nothing but scrap metal!

You'll be up to your bloomers in broken outmode junk!

Gasket - Such a good boy! And after you finish off Bigweld, there will be nobody out there to fix them!

Ratchet - Exactly! You t....you wanna swing that one by me again?

Gasket - Idiot! Those outmodes look up to him!

Suppose he decides to come back!

Ratchet - Aw, come on, Mom, he's not gonna be any trouble where he is!

Gasket - What are you afraid of? Grow some bolts!

Or do you want to end up like your father?

Ratchet's Dad - Hey son. Good to see ya.

Gasket - Think what it would mean. Not Bigweld Industries, Ratchet Industries!

Ratchet - Keep talking.

Gasket - Ratchet City!

Ratchet - Yes, everything....shiny....*laughter*

Gasket - No more Bigweld, no more outmodes!

Ratchet - LET'S DO IT!

Gasket - THAT'S MY BOY!

Ratchet and Gasket - *they're laughing*

Gasket - Are you hungry? Can I get you something? You look thin.

Ratchet - No, no, no, Mom, I gotta go. Bye! Oh. Bye Pop.

Ratchet's Dad - So long, son! Good luck with your dastardly plans!

Fender - I'm a little tea pot, short and stout! Here is my handle, here is my spout!

When I get all steamed up, hear me shout! Just tip me over and pour me out! Hhhha ha ha ha!

Rodney - Hey!

Fender - AAREENYANYEH

Hi there. Heh heh. Listen.

Rodney - *grunts of trying to get out of barrelness*

Fender - If I seem to be getting smaller, it's because...

I'M LEAVING

Rodney - Aah!

Fender - FOOT DON'T FAIL ME NOW

Rodney - Stop! Hey, you got my foot!

Fender - D'oh! Ow! Oh great. Happy now?

Rodney - Not until you give me back my foot, you mugger!

Fender - I am not a mugger. I happen to beeeee, ow. A scrounger.

I didn't know you were at the end of that foot.

Rodney - Ah, here. Let me help you with that.

Fender - No no no, I'll do it myself. I have my pride, you know. *whistle* Over here! Oh no, no no, not that clo-unf! Oof! Hold on! Hold on! Ow! No, no no! Ah! Ow! Urgh!

Crank - Oh, what's the use. There's nothing left!

Lugnut - Hey, Diesel! I found you a voice box!

Diesel - *I think a Spanish guy commentaring a football game*

Lugnut - Uhh, here's another one.

Diesel - *happy dog noises*

Crank - That's no good. Give me that!

Diesel - *angry dog growling*

Lugnut - Ugh, I can never find parts in my size!

Fender - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOFFF!

Diesel - *bark bark bark*

Lugnut - What is it, boy?

Diesel - *bark bark*

Lugnut - Heh heh! Hey, Fender! Have you lost weight?

Crank - Lost weight?! Ha ha! Look at where you're looking!

He's a head! In a basket! We're doomed, I knew it! We're doomed!

Fender - Eeh, will you shut up, you neurotic nut, why I'd...I'd smack you if I had a hand!

Oh! Speak of the devil! Here I come.

OOWWWWWWW, DANG!

Piper - Whooooah, check this out!

Who would throw away such a cute little doodad?

Wonderbot - *scared noises*

Piper - Aww, don't be scared.

Rodney - Hey, that's mine!

Fender - That's him! That's the guy!

I would know that face! I know that face and I know that foot!

Psst, he's over there, moron. THAT'S THE PERPETRAITOR!

He knocked my head off! You want another piece of me?!

Piper - Alright, buster! If you think you can mess with my big brother yooooooooooou'reyou're kinda cute!

Crank - Piper, would you behave yourself? Now come on, let's go get Fender fixed. Again.

Piper - Here's your thingamabob.

By the way, the name's Piper. Rhymes with Viper. Ssssssss. See ya round. Aaah! Mm hmm.

Fender - We've told you a hundred times, don't talk to strange men. Thank you, manuel.

Piper - I talk to you. Who's stranger than that?

Jack - I got good news and I got bad news.

Fender - What's the bad news?

Jack - I checked the stock book. And as of today, they are no longer making parts for your model. You have been officially outmoded.

Fender - Outmoded? Well, that's fine, WHAT'S THE GOOD NEWS?!

Jack - Well, when we had your parts, they were on sale! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

Fender - *crying* Aaaagh, how could this happen to me?! I'm practically a kid!

Jack - Sheesh, look, pull yourself together, all you need is an upgrade!

Rusties - Whoooah.

Lugnut - That new upgrade smell...

Jack - Just came in. Fully loaded. Look, it's got cup holders! Standard!

Lugnut - Does it come in plus sizes?

Jack - Sure! Take a look at the new Bigweld Spring Collection!

Fender - I can't afford that fancy stuff! All I need is one stinking neck joint! D'oh, why did this! Happen! To! Me!

Argh! Ow! Ow! Ow!

I'm hurting me! Idiot!

Jack - Sorry, pal. It's either upgrade or the Chop Shop for you.

Fender - The Chop Shop! Nooooooooo!

I'm fine, I'm fine!

Look, no hands! Whoops! Uhp! Heeey, uhp! Uhp! Uhp! Oooh, uhp! And, uh, dah dah! I'm back! Miss me?

Piper - No one's going to the Chop Shop!

Crank - That's right!

What do you think we can get for 'em? Now that I've been thinking about it...

Piper - Will ya stop? Listen, shinypants, you get back there and find a part for my brother!

We are not junk, we are not scrap, and we will not be treated this way.

Diesel - *sassy black sounds*

Jack - I'm sorry! I don't have the parts!

Rodney - Well do you two washers, an S-spring and some fastweld? I can fix you easy!

Diesel - *darth vader voice* The force is strong with this one!

Rodney - When was the last time you got oiled?

Fender - Well, I can't quite answer that with my kid sister right here.

Piper - Can it, Fender!

Rodney - Hold still, thi-this might tickle!

Fender - We haven't been properly introduced.

I'm Fender! Used to be Bumper, but had to change it when we came into the country.

Rodney - Copperbottom. Rodney Copperbottom.

Fender - Riddle me this: Why did I meet you among the garbage?

Rodney - Well today I tried to get in to see Bigweld.

Rusties - *laughter*

Piper - Well, if you find him, tell him we really need him to come back.

He cared about bots like us!

Crank - Well what I heard is that they done him in!

And they left the rest of us to fall apart.

Rodney - Well that ought to do it!

Fender - Hey, look at that! And he fixed my neeeeeeeeeck! *gasp* Sweeper!

Rusties - *also gasp*

Rodney - Sweeper?

Fender - Make yourselves scarce!

Rodney - What's the big deal?

Piper - Well, if you're an outmode, like Fender...

Fender - Hey!

Crank - They sweep you up and take you to the Chop Shop.

Piper - Where they melt you down and turn you into something else...

Rodney - You mean...

Diesel - *death sounds*

Piper - Yep.

Fender - Sweepers, sweepers...

Whelp! Here's one outmode you're not gonna get!

Nananananaanaa, nananana...whoops!

*gasp*

Piper - Fender, ruuun!

Fender - *screaming*

Rusties - *laughing*

Piper - That was close!

Fender - When in Robot City, guests of the Rusties, that's us, stay at Aunt Fan's boaring house, where our motto is "beats rusting outside!" Ha ha ha ha!

We'll just let her know you're here. AUNT FAAAAAANNYYYY!! We brought someone!

Aunt Fanny - I'm in the kitchen!

Rodney - Are you sure your Aunt won't mind?

Fender - Relax, she's not my Aunt! She just takes in bots who are...broke. Ha ha ha! Bless her little heart.

Rodney - Well then why is she called Aunt Fanny?

Fender - We couldn't call her Aunt Booty.

Rodney - WHOA

Fanny - Whoops! Uhh, oh scrap!

Piper - She's a little artsy fartsy. The artsy's okay, but when she gets fartsy...

Fanny - Look at this, oh, right on my shoes, I'm so clumsy, I...well, hello there! What's your name?

Rodney - I'm Rodney Bigbottom. No, I'm-I'm Rodney Copperbottom! Copperbottom.

Fanny - That's a wonderful name! Bigbottom.

Rodney - Oof!

Fanny - Well I just...

Rodney - Whoooah!

Fanny - What happened to your friend?

Fender - He's been rear-ended.

Rodney - Whoooaoof!

Fanny - Ooh! There ya are! Eee hee hee hee!

Fender - Aunt Fan, he needs a place to stay.

Fanny - Well just make yourself at home!

Rodney - Thank you. That's very kind of you.

Fanny - My pleasure. See a need, fill a need!

Rodney - Hey, just like Bigweld!

Fanny - Ooh, Bigweld. That's a lot of robot!

Rodney - Oof!

Fender - Come on, you can bunk with me! Heh. We'll ignore the gossip.

*Stacie Orico - There's Gotta Be More to Life*

You missed a spot.

Piper - AAAAGH! Fender! Get out of my room!

Fender - Heh heh heh heh.

I'm not in your room! I am now. No I'm not! I am, not, am, not...

Piper - GET OUT OF MY ROOM.

Crank - Oh man, this is third oil change today, something's wrong with me.

Fender - Oop, sorry.

Here we are. Home sweet home! What's mine is yours! Oh dear.

Rodney - I'll get them!

Fender - Oh, look, look at that, oh, now they're arm wrestling.

QUEESE POOPA, QUEESE POOPA! QUENESA PACHO!

Could you seperate them? Hurry! My backside itches!

I know that sounds bad, but I'm just..heh...doing musical art farts.

Do you know how to do those?

They're hard to do because we're made of metal, but that's where the skill comes in.

Come real close, listen...no, wait...ah, wait, wait...te-tell me that didn't sound like a-like an old man. Heh.

Rodney - You know, I'm a little tired. Maybe tomorrow.

Fender - Oh. Kind of a rough day, huh?

Rodney - Kinda.

My Dad's probably sitting by the phone waiting for his son to call and tell him what a big success my first day was.

Meh, I know, it's not your problem, but if you burden your friends, you soon won't have any.

Fender - What are you, a fortune cookie?!

That's what friends......you consider me a friend?

Rodney - Sure, what else would I consider you?

Fender - I don't know, an embarassment, a way to rebel against your parents, a desperate cry for help, the list is endless.

Rodney - Let's just stick with friend.

Fender - You know, Rodney, even though you had a discouraging day, remember, THERE'S ANOTHER ONE COMING TOMORROW

You know, my last roommate jumped out that window.

Rodney - Hehey, Fender.

Fender - Hmm?

Yeah, baby! Let it rip!

Rodney - *laughter*

Crank - Hey guys, come on, what are ya, 3 years old? This is how a man does it.

Piper - You guys are so gross! Besides, this is how you do it!

Fanny - Hey kids! Get a load of this!

Piper - Aunt Fanny! WE were using our arms!

Some other robots - Ew!

Another robot - Excuse me!

Lamp post - *cough* Lady...please!....see a doctor! Augh!

Guy in Car - Uhh....*grunting about winding the car up*

Fanny - Breakfast!

This'll perk everyone up! Some of Aunt Fanny's fresh brewed grease!

One of 'em - Yummo!

Fanny - Careful, it's hot!

Wonderbot - *hiccup*

Rodney - So what are you guys doing today?

Fender - We're doing it.

Piper - What about you?

Rodney - Mr. Bigweld's disappeared and you're just sitting here.

Fender - I think that's already been established.

Rodney - Well I gotta find out what happened to him!

Crank - Hey, you want my advice?

Rodney - Sure!

Crank - Forget it. Never try, never fail. Those are the words I live by.

Rodney - Crank, the idol of millions is gone and no one seems to care!

There should be an angry mob out there! What th-

*angry mob noises*

Fender - Wow, that was great, psychic friend! Now say money should be falling from the sky!

Say it! Sahahay it!

Jack - Sorry, folks! All sold out!

Nothing but upgrades from here on in!

Outmode 1 - But I like myself just the way I am! Ooh!

Outmode 2 - We can't afford upgrades!

Outmode 3 - Let's get him!

Outmode 4 - Hey, hey, hey, hey what are you doing, don't throw me!

Hey, isn't that's the guy that fixed Fender's neck?

Outmode 5 - Yeah, that guy fixes bots!

Jack - Yeah! That kid can help ya!

Fender - Brace yourself. You're about to get very popular!

Only those with insurance!...oh, I forgot. Everybody, come on!

Outmode 6 - Parts, man. I need parts!

Rodney - You don't look that....bad!

Outmode 7 - Hey everybody! Spare parts!

*happy mob noises*

Rodney - Wait a minute, wait a minute!

What's wrong with you robots?

Fender - You should all be ashamed of yourselves!

Rodney - Why do you have two noses?

Fender - One's for showin' one's for blowin'! Heh heh. Sorry.

Outmode 8 - Could you look at my arm?

Rodney - Uh....nice grip.

Outmode 8 - LIKE IRON!

Outmode 9 - I can't get rid of this spare tire!

Outmode 10 - I AM LOSING MY MIND!

Fender - Back off, back off! He's got his own dreams that won't come true!

Rodney - See a need, fill a need.

Wait!

Who wants to get fixed?

*cheering mob, sad dog*

*grunts of people getting toppled over like dominoes*

Outmode 10 - *Opera singing*

Diesel - Fiiiiigaaaaaaarooooooooo! Figaro figaro figaro!

Toilet - Thanks, Rodney! You're number 1!

Crowd - Rodney! Rodney! Rodney! Rodney! Rodney! Rodney! Rodney! Rodney!

Ratchet - Ooooooooh, ooooooh yeah.

I have never felt so relaxed. Say, do you mind giving me a scratch between the shoulder blades?

Ah, there ya-argh! Easy, tiger. Ooh! Hey, take it easy!

Hey, what are you trying to do, kill m-AARGH!

Gasket - Relax, it's me. Your mommy.

Ratchet - How did you get in here?!

Gasket - I came up the air shaft, I know you don't like anybody here to see me!

Ratchet - But what do you want?

Gasket - Someone's fixing them!

Ratchet - What?

Gasket - Someone is repairing outmodes, and they are laughing at you!

Ratchet - Who?! And are you sure they're not laughing with me?

Gasket - Yes.

Ratchet - Oh, so what if one crazy fanatic repairs a few outmodes. Who cares?

Gasket - Think. Use those brains I stole for you.

Today it's one, what about tomorrow and everybody gets the idea this is okay?

"We can fix ourselves!" "We don't need upgrades!" "We want Bigweld!" Then what happens to YOU?

Ratchet - Okay, okay, take it easy...we've got to find out who this is and stop him.

Gasket - Not stop him, crush him! DESTROY him! And by the way, I bought you a little something for your desk.

Rodney - Whoooh! Is there anyone else waiting?

Fender - Let me look.

HUAH!

A few.

Rodney - A few?!

Piper - What did you expect, Rodney?

Bigweld was gone, Sweepers were one the loose, but then came Copperbottom! Ha, I'm getting all staticy just thinking about it!

Rodney - Well I'm not Bigweld! These robots need parts!

Mail box - Mail call! Mail call!

Copperbottom, this one's from your mom.

Fender - Ooh! Ooh! Is there anything for me?

Mail box - Ooh, I got something for ya!

That's from my sister!

Fender - I recognise her handwriting.

Piper - Is anything wrong?

Fender - I'll say. His father's got one foot in the junkyard and if they can't find new parts for him, he's only got a few miles left.

Piper - Rodney, are you really worried about your dad?

Fanny - Do you wanna go home?

Rodney - Well if I go home, I still can't help him. We're out of parts! We've gotta get to Bigweld, he's the only one that can fix this!

Wonderbot - *explaining noises that fail*

Piper - He's trying to tell us something!

What is it boy, what's wrong?

Wonderbot - *terrible Bigweld impression*

Piper - Bigweld!

Is going....

dancing!

Fanny - Of course! The Bigweld Ball!

You can't have the Bigweld Ball without Bigweld!

Rodney - Well that's it, then! I'm going to the Bigweld Ball!

Crank - What? That's the fanciest party of the year, you'll never get past the gate!

*party noises*

Tim the Asshole - Haha...can I help you?

Fender - I think maybe you can. This is Count Roderick von Brokenzipper! Formally Count Velco!

Tim the Asshole - Um...the...

Fender - Where are the trumpets?

Tim the Asshole - Beh, beh, uhh...

Fender - We were promised trumpets to announce the Count's arrival!

Sorry, your grace. Beat me until you are happy. Mmh! He's happy! And I'm not feeling to bad myself!

Tim the Asshole - Hmm hmm, let me, um...you're not on the list.

Fender - We are what?! Once again. Augh! Thank you!

Fine! We will go! You will explain to your superiors why we were not able to attend your little luau, your barn dance, whatever it is.

But we're leaving! In a huff!

Tim the Asshole - No no! No no! No no!

Please! Go right in! In fact, would the Count like to hit me?

Fender - The Count hit YOU? The arrogance of some people. I will hit you on his behalf.

Tim the Asshole - Augh! Thank you, your grace! Woo hoo hoo!

Rodney - Okay, let's split up. If you see Bigweld, come and find me.

If anything goes wrong, we'll signal each other.

Fender - What kind of signal do you want? Do you want something kind of...subtle, like "popoimimimipoiemama" or "AROO AROOOOOO"

Oh! How about this: CA CAA! CA CAAAAAAAAAAAA! RRRRRIIIIIIIIIIICOLAAAAAAAAAAAA!

Rodney - Subtle. Let's get to work.

*C+C Music Factory - Gonna Make You Sweat*

Fat guy - A screwdriver please. Shaken, not stirred.

Waiter guy - Yes, sir.

Wonderbot - *sounds of being shaken, not stirred*

*sound of 3 fat guys enjoying Wonderbot's dancing*

Fat guy 2 - I'll have what he's having!

*then they cheer*

Ratchet - You know, Cappy, it's nice that you can see me like this. Away from work. See my more casual, fun loving side.

*coughing up a metal cherry or something*

Phew! Now, where were we? Huh?

Loretta - Well there are never any interesting men at these parties. Ooh!

Fender - Hello, ladies. Thunder von Fender at your service.

Loretta - Hi. I'm Loretta. Gear grinder.

Fender - Heh.

Loretta - Anyone dressed as badly as you are must be an excentric billionaire. Hmmhmm.

Announcer guy - Ladies and Gentlebots! Now, coming to the stage, the top bot, the big bolt, who's your daddy?

Mr. Phineas T. Ratchet!

Ratchet - Thank you. We now come to the point of the evening where I have the tremendous honor of introducing our beloved founder, Mr. Bigweld.

Rodney - Excuse me, sorry, excuse me, coming through!

Ratchet - Who, unfortunately, is unable to attend.

Crowd - *aww*

Rodney - What?

Ratchet - He sends his apologies, his love and a small box of assorted cookies.

Rodney - Not coming?

Ratchet - And what are you doing here?

Rodney - What have you done with Bigweld?

Crowd - *le gasp*

How come we don't see him anymore, huh?

Ratchet - Ohohokay....security, we have a party crasher.

Rodney - Yeah, that's right. And I had to put all this junk on in order to get in here!

So I could tell Bigweld that YOU are outmoding millions of bots!

And I know because I spend all day fixing them!

Ratchet - You!

Rodney - C-c-c-ca caa! Ca caaaa!

Fender - *probably spanish stuff*

Rodney - Uh...ca caaaaaaaa!

Fender - *still probably spanish stuff*

Rodney - CA CAAAAAAAAAA!

Fender - *gasp* My darling! That is the cry of the deep doodoo bird! I must fly!

Ratchet - Take him for a drive. And bring me back his exact weight in PAPER CLIPS!

Cappy - No!

Ratchet - No?

Cappy - Um....I'll escort him out!

You don't want to look bad in front of your people, do you?

Ratchet - Mmm, good point...

Cappy - And when I get back, I'll show you my casual fun-loving side.

Ratchet - Ohohohoho youhouhou!

Cappy - Get moving!

Rodney - What? What are you doing?

Cappy - Saving your life!

Rodney - Come on!

Fender - Let him go! Let him go! Let him go!

Cappy - Get out of here, you idiot!

Ratchet - Get him!

Rodney - Fender, let's go!

Cappy - You know him?

Loretta - Fender! Wait for me!

Rodney - Wonderbot!

*sound of Konga and Wonderbot shaking shakers*

A guy Ratchet pushes over - Whooah!

Ratchet - Get out of my way!

Rodney - Hey, Tim! I'd like to see Mr. Bigweld!

Tim the Asshole - Ah! You again!

Rodney - Whuuuoah!

Cappy - Hahahaha!

Rodney - Hahaha, wow, that was amazing! So where do we go now?

Cappy - I'm taking you to the train station.

Rodney - What?! No way!

Cappy - You don't know what you're dealing with here. Ratchet is gonna use your head for a hood ornament!

Rodney - Look, I'm not leaving until I find Bigweld!

Cappy - Oh, that's not-

Rodney - Can't you take me to him?

Cappy - I must be out of my mind.

Fender - Au reservoir, my darling.

Loretta - Thanks for walking me home.

Fender - Thanks for carrying me up that hill!

Loretta - Until tomorrow...

Fender - I shall count the seconds.

So far I'm up to 4!

Loretta - Ha ha ha, you crazy nut boy.

Fender - Crazy about yooou!

Oooh, dah daah, bam ba BAH! Frow. Bahm baahm, ba da BAH! Beey! Bah baom, ba da BAH! Broom, be la le la le la le la la la!

I'm siiiinging in the oil! I'm siiiinging in the oil!

After all that work and toil, I'm just slipping!

In the oil!

Dog - *bark bark*

Fender - I knooooow where I've been sent! I've covered in lubricant!

My life has turned around. From now on, I am a winner!

STOP YOU'VE MADE A MISTAKE I'M ALIVE YOU CAN'T DO THIS

Heeeeeeeeeeeelp

Cappy - Okay, we tried. Let's get outta here.

Rodney - No no no, something's up. Look at all these newspapers and this mail.

Cappy - Oh, come on. They probably stopped delivering these years ago.

Mailman - Paper!

Wonderbot - *laughter then anger*

Mailman - Late edition!

Rodney - You say something?

Cappy - Nice one of you.

Come on, we gotta get you outta here.

Wonderbot - *wuss noises*

Cappy - Big creepy door. Perfect.

Rodney - Oh, wow! Look at this! This is Bigweld's actual workshop! I recognise it from his old TV show!

Cappy - Could you keep it down? We're not supposed to be here.

Rodney - Do you know what these are? These are Bigweld's original invention designs! That's his own writing!

Cappy - This is strange. How come it just stops in the middle?

Rodney - Look at this! Remember? H-he used to have these on his show?

Cappy - Uh, Rodney, I don't know how to tell you this, but-

Rodney - Why are they so dusty?

Cappy - Wait! Don't-

Rodney - Oops!

This is much more elaborate than the ones on the show.

Rodney and Cappy - *screaming*

Cappy - Rodney! What do we do?!

Rodney - I don't know! This is kindof a first for me!

Bigweld - Ya hoo!

Yah!

Rodney - It's him!

Wonderbot - *dolphin noises i think*

Bigweld - Woo woo woo woo!

Brrbrbrbrrbrbrbr! Who's the king of the beach?

Cappy - Are you alright?

Bigweld - Well, considering I'm an old fat guy who just crashed to the floor, I'm fantastic!

Now who the heck are you?

Rodney - I'm Rodney.

Bigweld - Oh. I thought you were the dominoes delivery boy.

Come on, let's set 'em up again, only bigger!

Rodney - Sir, i-is this what you've been working on?

This is why no one sees you?

Bigweld - Ungh! Young man, nobody likes a chatterbox.

Rodney - But there's a terrible crisis, Mr. Bigweld!

We need to talk!

Bigweld - Son, I gotta tell ya, you're making a lousy first impression.

Cappy - Please, sir, he is your biggest fan. In fact, he's an inventor! Just like you!

Rodney - Well....

Cappy - Show him that thing you made!

Bigweld - Ooh! A device? A doohickey? A thingamajig?

Rodney - Now don't be scared. Show Mr. Bigweld what you can do!

Wonderbot - *scared noises*

Rodney - Go on. It's okay.

Wonderbot - *more scared noises*

Bigweld - Is, uh, that what it's supposed to do?

Rodney - It gets nervous under pressure, but-

Bigweld - Son, let me give you a good piece of advivce.

Rodney - Yeah?

Bigweld - Give up.

Rodney - What? Are you telling me to quit?

Bigweld - I said give up. But quit works just as good.

Rodney - Is that what you did? Is that why you're sitting here letting Ratchet turn robots like my father into outmodes?

Bigweld - Kid, sometimes you just gotta know when you're licked.

Rodney - But you're Bigweld! You can fix anything!

Bigweld - Hmm. I used to think so.

To me, having the company was all about making life better.

But Ratchet, it was money that came first. I became old-fashioned. An outmode.

Go home, kid. If he beat me, he's gonna beat you.

Rodney - But-

Bigweld - The world you're looking for no longer exists! Ya missed it!

Find some other foolish dream! Now if you'll excuse me, I'm very very...very.....er...busy.

Rodney - Yeah, I can see that.

All I ever wanted was to grow up to be like him.

Fender - Heeelp! Open the door! Open the door!

Woooah! Close the door, cloose the door! Aaaaaaaaaah! Ow! Ah!

Aaaaaaaaaagh! Oof! Augh!

Wow, look at all these parts! It's a shmorgasboard, look at that! So many things I wanted all my life, and...

Ooh hoo, that's pretty-AAAAAGH!

*screaming*

Ratchet - Okay, mother, this way!

Gasket - Oh, let me look, please! I can't bear it!

Fender - *le gasp*

Ratchet - No peeking, now, it's a surprise!

Gasket - Ooh, you are a wicked boy.

Ratchet - Whoop!

Gasket - Ah! For me?

Ratchet - It's got a full tank of gas!

If you're ready to mow, she's ready to go.

Gasket - Has any mother ever had a better son?

Ratchet - Oh, by the way I've found out who's been fixing those outmodes, so starting tomorrow, these babies are gonna chop him up along with all his broken down buddies and every other walking pile of junk I'm sick of looking at.

Fender - *le screm*

Ratchet and Gasket - *laughing*

Ratchet - Eh?

Gasket - whuzzat

Fender - *scream*

*more screaming*

Gasket - *laughter*

Fender - Aah! Ooh! Whuh! Aaargh! Oh! AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

*mumbo jumbo*

Ah! *the grunts of putting on legs*

AAH! This is so wrong, this is so wrong!

Heeeeeeeelp! Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

Cappy - Rivet Town, please. One way.

Rodney - Hi Mom. Oh, I'm, uh.....doing fine. How are you? And dad?

Lydia - He's right here! I'll put him on!

Herb - Heeey buddy! How's it going?

Rodney - Hey Dad. Ho-how are you feeling?

Herb - Ooh, fine, fine, I...*cough cough* I've just been a little under the weather.

*cough* No! We're just having a little trouble finding your old man a replacement part, that's all-heh heh.

But hey! Let's talk about you! What kind of work are you doing? What's Bigweld like? Did you meet him?

Rodney - Yeah, I-I met him. But...

Herb - Wh at's wrong, son?

Rodney - It's....not how we thought it was, dad. It's not....uh....I can't...

Herb - I see.

Rodney - I'm really sorry I let you down.

Herb - Nononononono, you could never let me down, Rodney.

Listen.

I know it isn't easy, Rodney. But a dream that you don't fight for can haunt you for the rest of your life.

Rodney - Yeah, dad.

Herb - It's up to you, son.

Phone - Your father loves you very much.

Rodney - I know.

Phone - With our "Friends & Family" plan, you can talk to him 500 minutes a month, free nights and weekends.

Aunt Fanny - YOOOHOOOO, ROOOOODNEEEEEEY! WAIT

*panting* Your suitcase...

Rodney - Thanks, Aunt Fanny, but I'm...

Aunt Fanny - You know, the others wanted to come and see you off, too.

Rodney - Well why didn't they?

Aunt Fanny - Hmm? OOH! They did!

Rusties - *groans of disgust*

Crank - Next time, let's split a cab.

Piper - Who the heck is SHE?

Aunt Fanny - I used to have a figure like that.

Fender - HURRY! COME ON!

ONE TICKET TO ANYWHERE!

Lugnut - Fender?

Piper - *gasp* I have a sister!

An ugly sister...

Fender - HEY! GUESS WHAT!

IT'S THE SWEEPERS! They're rounding up outmodes and taking them!

Not them, US! TO MADAME GASKET'S CHOP SHOP! And guess who's really behind it all.

Rodney - Ratchet.

Fender - You don't wanna guess, COME OOOOOON! I ran all this way in cha-cha heels, COME ON, TAKE A STAB!

Rodney - RATCHET!

Fender - RATCHET!

LISTEN TO ME, LISTEN TO MEEHEEHEHE.....we won't last a week!

Crank - Okay okay, settle down. I got a plan...LET'S ALL GET ON THAT TRAIN

Rusties - *sounds of agreement*

Rodney - HEY, WAIT A MINUTE

You're all giving up?!

Crank - You started it.

Rodney - Well I'm ending it. My mistake was hoping that Bigweld would fight our battles. WELL HE WON'T! It's up to us!

If we don't do something about Ratchet, no one will!

Come on, let's fight back!

Aunt Fanny - Fighting never solved anything.

Bigweld - Quitting isn't so productive either! I gotta tell ya.

Crank - It's the big boy.

Aunt Fanny - Oh, be still, my pump...

Bigweld - Kid, if you're gonna fight, I'm going in with ya!

Rodney - Y-you are?!

Bigweld - Hey, who's the dane with the sweet keister?

Rodney - But why?

Bigweld - I dunno, I'm a big guy, and I...I like women with large...

Rodney - No no no, wh-why are you gonna help us?

Bigweld - Oh! Because...I wanna grow up to be like you!

Rodney - Then let's do it.

Bigweld - Come on, gang! Let's give that Ratchet a oldschool fix-it!

Everyone - *celebratory noises*

Wonderbot - *TRUMPET*

Aunt Fanny - Auh, what a man!

Crank - Someone get a crane.

Ratchet - Mother, I'm an adult!

Okay? So stop telling me how to kill Bigweld. I'm doing it today, how I want, where I want and with whatever I want!

Bigweld - Okay, board room. 10 minutes. I want you both there.

Lugnut - Mr. Bigweld!

Should we come too?

Bigweld - Err, no! No! You stay here and watch daddy's limo!

Lugnut - Yes sir!

Bigweld - Right now I'm going inside to kick some booty. Hey, you know, your boyfriend here is a genius.

Rodney - What?

Cappy - Oh, he's not my...he is?

Rodney - I am?

Bigweld - Thanks for still believing in me.

Ah, it's good to be home.

Toodley-oodley!

*a boatload of people basically going "HOLY SHIT IT'S BIGWELD WHAT THE FUCK"*

Loretta - So I use the brazillian wax.

It makes me feel like every day's a fiesta.

Bigweld - Tell Mr. Ratchet his 10 o'clock is here!

Loretta - I'm all over it! Yes sir!

*more people reacting to Bigweld existing like holy FUCK with most of them saying "MR. BIGWELD, SIR"*

Woman - *le scream*

Some random employee - OH, MR. BIGWELD

Ratchet - NOOOO! No! Tell him I'm not here! Tell him anything, just don't let him in!

Bigweld - RATCHET

Ratchet - AAAAAAAAAH

Bigweld - I'll cut right to the point!

Ratchet - What happened?! Run out of dominoes? I'll send you some more!

Bigweld - You're fired!

Ratchet - FIRED?! ON WHAT GROUNDS?! This company has never been more profitable!

Bigweld - Profits, schmofits.

Now GET OUT!

Ratchet - No wait, please, listen to meee!

You can't do this to me! This job is my life! It means everything to me! You don't know what I've done to get here!

The lies I've told! The lives I've RUINED! this isn't helping me

Bigweld - Get me security!

Ratchet - WAIT! Please!

Can I just make one last heartfelt plea?

Bigweld - Okay, what did you wanna say?

Ratchet - THAT

Bigweld - OOF

Ratchet - OH MY GOSH, I'm as crazy as my mother...

Bigweld - Oohhhhhhhhhhhh...

Ratchet - NYORAAAGH

*people in the aftermath of the Bigweldness*

Ratchet - Take that fish to the chop shop. And put my name on his parking space.

Rodney - Let go of him!

Ratchet - Heh heh heh...sure. Listen, kid. It's over! You lost!

Bigweld is gonna be melted down into next season's upgrades along with YOU, YOUR MORONIC COFFEE POT, and Cappy....

...such a waste.

Rodney - ROOOOH

WAAAH

Ratchet - NGAH

Rodney - HRRRRRAH

Ratchet - *le screm*

Other employees - WHOA

Rodney - *le screm*

Mr. Bigweld! Are you okay?

Bigweld - I'M THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE HARVEST MOON BALL

Rodney - I'll take that as a no!

*War - Low Rider*

*Barry White - Can't Get Enough Of Your Love Baby*

Aunt Fanny - *le gasp*

*screaming*

Rodney - OUT OF THE WAY

Cappy - Rodney!

Rusties except Piper - ROAD TRIP! ROAD TRIP! ROAD TRIP!

Piper - You guys are so embarassing-

Oh, that's Rodney! He's in some kind of trouble!

Rodney - I gotta repair him!

Cappy - Okay!

I've got your back!

Piper - Come on! We gotta help Rodney!

Fender - No, Piper. You stay here.

Piper - No way!

Fender - Let's be honest. We're headed for a huge butt whoopin!

Piper - Oh!

Fender - Whatever happens to us, make something of yourself.

Piper - *the sounds of going down a sphere*

Fender - YOU'RE THE ONLY THING I HAVE TO LEAVE BEHIND! GOODBYE!

Aunt Fanny - He's right, Piper. They're headed for a huge butt whoopin!

Bigweld - IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS

Rodney - AH!

Bigweld - IF YOU'RE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT CLAP YOUR HANDS

Rodney - WHOOOOOA

AAAAAAH

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOH

Bigweld - DAISY, DAISY, GIVE ME YOUR ANSWER-

Rodney - URGH. Okay, GOT IT!

Bigweld - rrRRRRRRRODNEY! What's going on? Where are we?

Rodney - It's okay, you're alright!

WAAAGH

*sounds of landing on a magnet*

Fender - Okay, boys, we got 'em right where they want us! Boost me up! AAAAAAHHOOHOOHOHOHOHOO

Watch your hands down there!

Rodney - Huh?

Fender - RODNEEEEEEY

WE'RE HERE TO SAVE YOU

AAAAAAAAAAHoh

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAOW

How do you think it's going so far?

Rodney - WHOOOA!

The plug!

Hold on, guys, I gotta get to the other side!

WHHHHHOO-

*le gasp*

WHOAAAAAAH NNNNNAH

Rusties - *celebration*

Cappy - WHOO! We're outta here!

*gasp* HNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

Bigweld - aaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Crank - The Chop Shop!

That's it. Game over.

Rodney - The game is not over!

This is our moment to shine! This is where you show what you're really made of!

Lugnut - What?

Fender - In my case it's a rare metal. It's called Afraidium. It's yellow, tastes like chickeeeeeeeeeenBAWBAWK

Hoooohoohooh...I didn't know I could do that!

Crank - Rodney's right. I am tired of just complaining and NEVER. DOING. ANYTHING. I...uh..I...

I want to try.

No. Forget it. Sorry, I-NO, YES! I. Want. To try.

Rodney - Then you're first.

Lugnut - First for what?

Rodney - They want us to upgrade? Then let's upgrade.

Bigweld - *grunts of trying to escape a pot*

Gasket, you're a sick, twisted, evil robot.

Gasket - I try.

*laughter*

AAAH

Ohoh, goooood! Company! So, you're the little blob of tin who's been making all the trouble.

Who are THESE losers?

Fender - We, sir-

Gasket - I'm a woman.

Crank - Ouch.

Fender(except he's Scottish) - WE'VE COME TO OUR FRIENDS, YA EVIL BAGGA BULTS. AND YOU WILL BE DEFEATED BY THE VERY OUTMODES THAT YOU SCORNED AND DEFACED

Crank - Yeah! Cuz there's 7 of us and only 1 of you!

Uhhh....whoawhoa....

Fender - There's 7 of us, and...eight, nine....

Crank - Uh, did you count that one?

Fender - I think so.

WILL YOU ALL STOP MOVING AROUND?! IT'S SO FRUSTRATING! I THINK I COUNTED ONE OF YOU TWICE!

Gasket - While you're at it, count THESE!

As soon as we're done with you, these hit the streets!

Ratchet - This is the last day any outmode will ever see!

Piper - Did I miss the butt whoopin?

Rusties(and Rodney and Cappy) - Uhh....no?

Crank - Matter of fact, you're a little bit early.

Crowd - RODNEY! RODNEY! RODNEY!

Piper - Then let's get started!

Fender - TESTIFY, SISTA

Rodney - CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE

Piper - CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGE

Pretty much everyone - *charging noises*

Fender - OLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

Gasket - NNGAH

*robot massacre*

Wrestling Narrator - OHOHOHO, NO! HE'S GOT A STEEL CHAIR!

OOOOOUCH! HA HOO, BUT HE'S BACK UP INTO A NECKBREAKER!

HE'S UP TO THE TOP ROPE...LOOK AT THE HANG TIME!

Other narrator - THAT'S SURE GONNA LEAVE A DENT!

*more robot massacre and grunts*

Aunt Fanny - RRRRRRRRRAH! NNNH! Say hello to my dimpled friend!

Fender - Aaah! AAH!

*Britney Spears - ...Baby One More Time*

Crowd - *cheer*

Random robot - AAAAAAAAAAAAA

Gasket - NGAH! NNNNGAAAAAAAH!

Ha ha ha haaa!

Whuh...

Huuuh?

Hehehehehah hah hah hah haaah hah hah hahhahah.

Whuh?!

*fighting grunts*

Ratchet - This is gonna get GREASY

Bigweld - Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Rodney - I sure am!

Gasket - HAAH!

Huh?

WHAAAAAAH! WHUUH!

Rodney - SEE A NEED, FILL A NEED!

Bigweld - THIS ISN'T WHAT I WAS THINKING AT ALL

Ratchet - AAAAH

AAH

Gasket - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Ratchet - AAAH

Gasket - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

Ratchet - NOOOO

Gasket - GET OFF ME

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Ratchet - AAAAH

Gasket - LET. GO. DO AS I SAY!

Ratchet - *he's still screaming*

Gasket - GET! OFF!

Ratchet and Gasket - AAAAAAAH

Gasket - AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

Ratchet - MA

NG-OOOH. Wh-AAAH! My upgrades!

Crowd - *cheer*

Bigweld - Ha ha!

Ratchet's Dad - It's alright, son! You can shine no matter what yo-

Ratchet - NOO, JU-JUST...STOP!

Bigweld - Come on, Rodney! Let's open the gates of Bigweld Industries forever!

Rodney - Wait a minute. There's one thing I need to do first.

Lydia - HERB! Herb!

Herb - Honey, what're you doing here?

Lydia - It's Rodney, honey!

Herb - RODNEY?! Is he alright?

Lydia - Come outside! Hurry!

Mr. Gunk - COPPERBOTTOM, where are YOU going? What about the dishes?

AAAGH! Hey! Get back here!

You'll never wash in THIS town again! AAH!

Town - *chatter*

Herb - What is all this? The whole town is out here!

Rodney?!

Rodney - Dad! There's someone here I want you to meet!

Herb - Is that...

Rodney - That's Bigweld, dad. The greatest robot in the world. Besides you.

Bigweld - I understand you need a few parts.

Herb - Well, I..huh....I'm not one to complain, but

Bigweld - Well then don't! I've brought enough parts to make two of you!

Crowd - *laughter*

Bigweld - LADIES AND GENTLEBOTS

*echo*

I CAME ALL THIS WAY

*echo*

Would you cut that out? It's very distracting!

The fucking microphone of all things - Sorry.

*echo*

Bigweld - Where was I? Mr. and Mrs. Copperbottom, I came all this way to tell you in person that your son Rodney, the man who got me off my big titanium tochis, is now my right-hand bot and my eventual successor.

Crowd - *cheer*

Rodney - Ohohoh, Mohohom!

Herb - Son.

Rodney - Dad, I know you kinda felt bad when I was growing up that you couldn't give me a lot of stuff.

But you gave me the most important thing.

You believed in me.

Herb - From the second you were born.

Rodney - Well, Dad, now I want your dream to come true.

Dad, you always wanted to be a musician. Now, be one! For everyone to hear!

Crowd - *more cheering, hoo boy*

Fire Hydrant - GOOD FOR YOU, HERB! YOU DID GOOD!

Guy on bench - Good job!

Other guy on bench - Way to go!

Tin man - Now I'm sure I've got a heart. Cuz it's aching.

Herb - You'll have to forgive me. Uh, ahem. I'm a little rusty. mmhmm

Crowd - *laughter*

Crank - Whelp, there goes our happy ending.

Fender - NYOOO, it's a fusion of Jazz and Funk! It's called Junk!

*James Brown - Get Up Offa That Thing*

Lydia - I love you, Herb!

Crowd - *even more fucking cheering*

*oh also Diesel of all people sings*

Loretta - Fender!

Fender - Loretta, my darling!

Ooh, hehehe. Sorry.

Tim the Asshole - What are you doing to me?! Wait, I-I-I was on the list! Come ohon! Don't you know who I am? Wait-WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!