Have you ever had one of those days, when you can't lift your face out of your palms? You sit there, elbows on the tables, and a blank computer screen. If you haven't, let me tell you what that feels likes. It's a moment of pure loss. You spend your time yelling at yourself, whether it be in your head or out loud. You insult yourself, put yourself down because you make yourself feel worthless. At that moment, you can just tell your life won't advance. There you will be, at that desk the rest of your life. The words are in your head, but you can never put them on paper. You might as well die and wilt away, since you won't make a difference in anybody's life.

That's what that feels like.

I can't tell you how many hours every night I spent feeling like that. I would sit there at the computer, not knowing what to do. For others, it could have been a school essay. For some, it could have been their next article. But considering the tense I was just using, you probably guessed I wasn't one of those. Instead of writing something kind of important, I was trying to decide what to put as my profile description.

What I wanted to do was write the most intriguing introduction I could in under five hundred characters. Because I wanted the right person to see that introduction, because the right person was the girl of my dreams. She would see my profile pic and think I was cute. No, 'Handsome'. She would see my details, and get excited. Hopefully at that point, she wouldn't care to read my introduction. But just in case she were to, she would just die to meet me. That's why I was so frustrated, I couldn't get them right. Should I lie, should I exaggerate, etc. I needed help, and I needed it bad.

To a lonely man, love is the same thing as money. You gotta have it, or else your life will just go down the shitter. I had the job, I had the car, and I had the education. I even had my own independent life. But unfortunately that was way too independent. Cute girls would just pass me by every day, and I wouldn't say a word. If I had to interact with one due to work, I would interact with her normally, than fantasize some story about her the rest of that day. It was that bad. So I took to dating sites, and that was a shit show. I would stress about just making the profile good, but then delete it right after. Even though dating sites exist for that same reason, I was nervous being on a dating site made me look pathetic. My self-esteem was as sensitive as a cavity.

And so, for the thirty second time, I threw in the towel. I would just stop trying, and for some reason a successful relationship would just punch me square in the face. Well, to my complete utter surprise, it did. But instead of the face, it punched me in the back of the head.