Can’t Stop Thinking About Mouth-Shots

(3/10)

by Peartree

(book chosen by Beau Dashington)

Sara York’s ‘Pray The Gay Away’ is the coming of age story of Jack Miller, the popular all-star high school football hero son of a pastor, and Andrew Collins, the skinny, timid gay boy to who just moved to Sweet, a small town in backwaters Georgia.

The story (rife with spelling mistakes and grammatical errors) tries to deal with the serious issue of growing up gay in a religious environment. She claims this story hits close to home for her in the foreword. I can only assume it hit her with a wrench bludgeoning her temporal lobe.

The plot is as follows: Andrew kissed a boy in Atlanta, his father freaked out and moved them to Sweet. Jack is told to show him how to be a man’s man but Jack is gay and has been hiding it. The two instantly become an item. They give each other blowjobs but are not ready for sex and are scared it will hurt. Jack looks up how to have anal sex on his father’s work computer and gets caught. And then the book ends with ‘To Be Continued…’

The one true conflict in the ENTIRE story which would have driven some form of development in the characters was cut up to entice readers to purchase the next book. I was thankful that it ended, but that’s just shitty fucking writing. Sure there were minor conflict arcs with some progress, but they didn’t change anything. They just gave our pederast protagonists something new to bitch and whine about.

So since our author has chosen to not provide us with any major event to force a change in our characters let’s focus on the relationship of these two young men to figure out why she has chosen to keep them just the way they are. There must be something fiercely special about them to be able to hold our interest for such a long time.

When Jack first see Andrew he describes him as “tall but skinny. He had some muscles that bunched on his arm when he clenched his fists, but he lacked bulk. The guy’s pants were lose, and only held up by the army green belt cinched around his waist. His lips were dark red, not pink, or pale at all, but very dark and they stuck out in a slight pout. Jack wondered what it would be like to kiss that mouth. Then there were his eyes. Sunken, like his cheeks, the deep blue pools of wariness stared out at Jack.” I myself pictured Willem Dafoe in Wild At Heart but younger. You know, the scene where he has the stockings over his head and they are robbing the bank? (http://goo.gl/vbiQnF)

I’d like to interject that if I were writing a lesbian teen erotica novel I’d probably make the characters as ideal as possible. I don’t want to picture mediocre lovers. If it’s fiction why not give me the Goddesses of our race. Let me visualize the sapphic love of untainted beauties in a serene meadow under a tree by the riverbank. Not some butch t-primed dyke fisting her gloomy unshaven girlfriend on a stained mattress on the floor of their dejected apartment.

But it doesn’t matter because Jack is immediately in love with Andrew and will make Andrew fall in love with him. The are instantly inseparable and must have constant physical contact with each other, savouring each leg brush up in the truck or pat on the back. It’s actually unbelievably fast how they jump each other. The each swallowed the load of the other within 36 hours of meeting. And only actually being with each other about two to four of those hours. Both of their fathers would beat them senseless if they even suspected of something but these two idiots get to the woods immediately and start proclaiming endless love when they haven’t even kissed anyone yet. Within week one of meeting each other they are able to truly express their feelings.

“I swear, I’ll find a way for us to be together. It might take a while, but I want to spend my life with you.”Andrew’s breath caught in his throat. Tears stung the back of his eyes.”Do you really mean that? I’m nothing special.””You are special. To me, you’re the world. I can’t exist without you.”

(That kind of dialogue only comes about once you’ve written about 34 homoerotica novels by the way)

But in between mouth shots they remind themselves that they have to hide their relationship, yet can’t seem to be away for longer than eight hours. Feeling a burning loss in their souls when they are not near one another. I feel Mrs. York took many clues about how to write a teenage boy from Hayden Christensen’s portrayal of Anakin Skywalker in ‘Star Wars: Attack Of The Clones’.

They are so one dimensional through the entire book being solely focused on physically being with each other that the author has left them with no thoughts other than when they next get to suck each other off and being worried about being caught. One character even states “Everything in his life revolved around him and Jack being together.” This is not an understatement. Every few chapters have the same progression, they reassure each other of their love in the face of adversary (“I don’t care how wrong people say this is, I know it’s right.”, “No matter how it looks to everyone else, I only want to date you”, “I swear, I’ll find a way for us to be together”). The suck each other off (“Jack scraped the come off Andrew’s chest with his finger then brought it to his mouth, sucking his fingers clean”, “Thick come shot down Jack’s throat and he swallowed, drinking what his lover had to give him”, “Jack arched into him and shivered before he tried to pull out of Andrew’s mouth, but he didn’t let go. Salty sweet come raced down his throat”, “Andrew gasped and arched forward, dumping his load in Jack’s mouth”, “Jack cried out, his shout echoing across the clearing as he came. Andrew came seconds later”, “Andrew swallowed Jack’s come and continued to suck”). Then they’d promise each other everything will be ok in college (“he’d survive long enough to escape away to college where he wouldn’t have to hide his love of men”, “They’d need to move to a city where they could hold each other”, “We only have a few more months of high school and then we’ll be free”, “When we graduate, we’ll find a way to move in together”, “I really want this school year to end so we can find a place to live and be together”, “I swear we’ll be together soon. When we start living together, it will get easier”, “When they moved to college together things would be different”, “Once he got into a good college, they could start working toward building a life together”).

Repeat.

With a few minor bumps in the road like the homecoming dance postponing their midnight rendezvous, a social worker getting involved due to starvation, a ‘gay-gay’ little brother, and of course, as Andrew’s father put it best,“We’re going to pray like we’ve never prayed before. The gay is going to be gone from your life forever. You’ve chosen a path of death. Your mother and I are here to make sure you make a different decision. We’ll pray that gay away if it takes a lifetime”.

I am however awarding this book a higher rating than I thought going in because Mrs. York unveiled a whole new world to me in her writing talent of being able to showcase the entire gamut of human emotion with one’s eyebrows. “Billy screwed up his face, his brows pinched together”, “The boy screwed up his face, pinching his brows together”, “Nathaniel turned to him, his brows bunched together”, “Nancy looked to Jack’s dad and lifted a brow”, “Then Jack met his gaze and lifted one eyebrow”, “Jack turned around and lifted a brow”, “He glanced away then back at Jack, his brows pulled together”, “Suzanne’s brow’s shot up and her mouth hung open”, “She turned and narrowed her eyes, bunching her brows together”, “Coach lifted his brow as he stared at Jack”, “Andrew bit his lip and his brows pinched together”, “Both adults turned toward him, raising a questioning brow”, “Andrew’s brows were raised, a worried look on his face”, “Andrew, winking at him and lifting his eyebrows”, “His brows bunched together as he stared at the costume”, “He glanced at Jack who lifted his brows… ”, “…and lifted his brows”, “… lifted brows…”, “… bunched eyebrows…”, “… her brows…”, “… eyebrows…”, “…. brows…”, “… brows…”.

Wager:

How many times does Fred Phelps say “fag/faggot” in the following video:

Results:

Beau Dashington – (guessing 8) LoganLodez (guessing 0) AdmiralFartmore (guessing 15) Peartree (guessing 24)