Here's a few developer quote-file extracts from Mass Effect 1, to celebrate the impending release of ME3.



"I just want to point out that all our mammals have six legs, and all our insects have four."

- Casey



"You don't need to call him a prick or a dick when you can call him an ass."

- Drew, on language standards



"Remember: games don't hurt people, game designers hurt people."

- Preston



Preston: "I just got dinged by Kevin for a four-day, thirty-six-hour training session."

Drew: "Why don't they teach you how to avoid meetings so you can get actual work done? That's the most important managerial skill."



"You want a painting that says, "Wow! Look! It's SCIENCE!"

- Drew



Preston: "Geopolitics wants us to change the name of the ship from 'Normandy.'"

Georg: "Why? Are they afraid Germans will be offended by the loss of France?"



Preston: "Everyone ready to hear the memory budget?"

Luke: "Did you bring lube?"



JamesH: "Ahh, what we have here is organizational paralysis."

Dusty: "No we don't. We use SQUAD, motherfuckers!"

- Naming Conventions Meeting Excerpt



"I'm one of the designers, so I have no idea how to use the phone."

- Drew



"It's like being hit by a truck. Well, a small truck. Driven by a circus clown."

- Preston, describing Telekinetic Throw



Preston: "The thing about V.O. is, it costs money. Let me draw you a diagram here--"

Drew: "How much is that gonna cost?"



"We've got the X-Box 360! We can do anything! It goes ALL THE WAY AROUND!"

- Luke



ChrisL: "Penny Arcade is railing against insipid RPG dialogue today."

Luke: "But insipid is what I do best!"



"That looks meaty and it's a different color. I better shoot it."

- Preston



"How does any writing come out of this buffoon factory?"

- Preston



"If something's on fire - get the fuck out of the office! Don't stand around submitting Help Tickets!"

- DaveM



Ashley spazzes about releasing the (rachni) queen, but why would she know anything about it? It’s ancient history:

"The Mongols are on Whyte Ave!"

"Uh, and?"

"Aaaaaand they were real big back in the seventies or something!"

- Luke critiques Noveria



"Everything that's better is heavier. It's Soviet thinking!"

- Luke, on weight in RPG item systems



"Yeah, so you know that second level on the Citadel, where you crash in with your vehicle? With the star map? [Name Redacted] misunderstood something, and, uh... we cut it. So... we're trying to put it back in..."

- DerekW



"Is your X-Box on fire? No? Build passed!"

- Mac



Preston: "If your light content plot involves you killing ten panthers..."

ChrisL: "You're fired?"

JamesH: "No, you're going to Austin!"

* Note: James later went to Austin



"I wouldn't dread meetings so much if the world had a low verbosity setting like Zork."

- overheard in the lunchroom



Cookie: "So it's pronounced TAHL-ee ZOR-ah nar RAH-yah?"

ChrisL: "Bah WEEP gra-NAH weep nin-NI bong."



"See? This project isn't all about death and gloom! Look how well my plant is doing."

- Cookie



"Remember, we make fun, we don't have fun."

- Preston



Patrick: "I'll only be paying attention for the first 15 minutes. I'll spend the rest of the time playing rock, paper, scissors with myself."

Drew: "Is that a euphemism for masturbating?"

Patrick: "Only if I always choose rock."



"If we could give people a magic hat that would create for them the exact RPG experience they'd always dreamed of, they'd complain about the color of the hat."

- [Name Redacted]



Drew: "Whoa! I can see a journal entry in the game!"

Patrick: "Quick, get a screenshot before it crashes!"



"Every time I walk into a room in this place, it's like Normandy Beach."

- Preston, on being lead designer



"I just sit in my office and wait for someone to whip a cue ball at my head."

- Preston, on being lead designer



"You didn't give life to any of the words in Mass Effect; you just killed the ones that didn't deserve to live."

- Drew, to Cookie the editor



Mac: "Woo-hoo! I made it off the Citadel."

Drew: "By playing through the plot, or running through a wall?"



(Drew leaves the room swearing)

"I hope someone enjoys their new asshole."

- Patrick



"Despite it catching on fire when you hit a pebble, driving the vehicle is a lot better now."

- Drew



"Cookie's making audio porn with the VO clips. She's turned Tali into the dirtiest cybernetic girl in the galaxy."

- JasonA



JamesH: "See, there's viral marketing, and then there's--"

Patrick: "Virile marketing!"



"Wow. There are 23 bugs about eyelids."

- Patrick



"Mac's in my office. He's holding a ping-pong paddle, so I figured he was ready for a meeting."

- Preston



"My youngest - he only sees me in the morning before I leave. So he now thinks 'da-da' means 'bye.' He'll wave to people leaving and say, 'Da-da!'"

- Mac, working crunch



"Feros is an ancient planet that was colonized to extinction during the time of the Protheans."

- temporary Galaxy Map text



"The best jokes are the ones you need to patiently explain."

- ChrisP