Introducing the rPhone

rPhone combines three delightfully diverse products into one awkward and cumbersome handheld contraption -- a revolutionary steam-powered satellite phone, a stylish French musicbox, and a vibrasonic multi-purpose tool that is almost, but not quite, entirely unlike a Sonic Screwdriver. rPhone is the first portable telephone constructed of materials you've come to associate with progressive technology... from its exquisite rosewood paneling to the handsome brass frame, it shouts "This is the 18th century!" and "Gee, this thing sure is heavy!" and "What do you mean it costs $20,000??". Rest assured this is one phone you'll never lose in a pocket (unless you have extremely fancy pants m'lord!) and best of all, rPhone provides an analogue interface that even the simplest of simpletons (like you! m'lord!) can comprehend! No more confusing menu screens or complicated keystrokes, rPhone is built for space pirates on the go!