Findings from the commission investigated public statements from Trump, regarding both his fucking stupid approval of the military strike that would undoubtedly start a war with Iran, and his insanely idiotic action of signing off on the attack without even knowing what the fuck he was signing off on until he asked at the last minute.

Other evidence found from this investigation into his intelligence included: trying to obstruct an investigation in which he had allegedly was not guilty of any crime, trying to start another coup in Latin America, deciding to try and legislate funding for his main campaign promise (the wall) only after he had lost control of the House, using campaign funds to pay off a mistress instead of from billions in his personal finances, continually harassing a key Senate vote for repealing Obamacare (John McCain) despite McCain being so damned old he had nothing to lose, claiming not to know a woman accusing him of rape despite being in pictures with her, saying in an interview that he would accept help from Russia in the 2020 election, and insisting that the Cental Park 5 were guilty despite being exonerated by DNA evidence.

The commission released the statement "After reviewing the evidence, we have a high degree of confidence that Donald J. Trump is one of the dumbest people alive."

"Jesus fucking Christ this man is an idiot", Angela Merkel, Prime Minister of Germany said, in reference to his constant being an idiot.

"Who the fuck puts the guy who decided to invade Iraq over WMDs as their National Security Advisor? Seriously that's some dumb shit." Shinzo Abe, President of Japan, added, in reference to John Bolton, the dipshit who decided to invade Iraq.

"This guy still denies climate change. We had our own skeptics 10 years ago but everyone has moved on by now. Even Theresa May and Putin are on board now, this guy is a fucking moron." Justin Trudeau tweeted, but not really because this is a satire article.