MADISON, WI—In an attempt to boost lackluster sales, Cream-O-Land Dairy introduced their new Morning Clots line of pulp-heavy milk in whole, 2 percent, and skim varieties Tuesday.


"Bold new taste with the same milk goodness, and lots and lots of the hearty, chunky milk solids you love," a Cream-O-Land press release stated. "Whether you're spooning it atop your cereal or simply enjoying a tall, lukewarm glass, Morning Clots' chewy, full-bodied texture and old-timey flavor will have you saying 'It's Coagulicious!'"

A Cream-O-Land spokesman said that the products are already popular with such bulk institutional purchasers as prisons, hog farms, and public schools.