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Deinsberg St-Hilaire broke down in tears on the witness stand this week as he tried to explain why he didn’t contact police after speeding away from a crash scene, even when it became clear they were looking for him in connection with the crash that killed cyclist and father of two Andy Nevin.

He pleaded guilty to obstructing police, but has pleaded not guilty to dangerous driving causing death and failing to remain at the scene.

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“I was living in a big lie. It was ripping me apart,” he said through tears under relentless cross-examination Wednesday by Crown prosecutor Lisa Miles.

At one point he suggested he didn’t contact police in the days following the fatal crash because of “the fact that I’m black.”

“Fear gripped my heart,” he testified. “I was afraid about my family.”

St-Hilaire, now 42, acknowledged he was driving 80 km/h — which is 30 km/h over the posted speed limit on that stretch of Leitrim Road — when he “inexplicably” fell asleep at the wheel on June 28, 2015.