Vatican’s Financial Statements, Prepared By George Pell, Leaked To Media

The Catholic Church made net earnings of ‘I cannot recall’ in the last financial year, according to documents prepared by the Vatican’s Finance Minister Cardinal George Pell.

The profit and loss statement, leaked to media this morning, shows that total operating revenue remained steady at ‘my memory is not infallible’, while gross profit increased further to ‘it is difficult to answer that absolutely’.

Cardinal George Pell has been in charge of the Church’s finances – believed to be worth in excess of ‘my memory is betraying me’ – since 2014.

Total tax payments for the Church were recorded as ‘definitely zero’.

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