It’s only March, but pitcher Julian Tavrez already has baseball’s quote of the year all locked up.

Julian Tavarez, the combustible 35-year old pitcher showing his less-than-perfect-punching-form above, recently signed a non-guaranteed minor league contract with the Washington Nationals following a good performance for the Dominican Republic in the World Baseball Classic. This deal comes months after the Nationals had originally offered Tavarez a contract. So why say yes now, after saying no thanks in November? Beer goggles, obviously.

“Why did I sign with the Nationals?” Tavarez said told a group of reporters. “When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you’re just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J. Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It’s 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me.”

His J-Lo metaphor continued when asked if he’d like be to a starter or come out of the bullpen (he’s played both roles during his 16-year career).

“I would like to be a starter, but it’s like my father said: ‘You want Jennifer Lopez, but does she want you? No.’ You just take whatever she is giving to you. So I just take whatever they give to me.”