I made the script by ear as requested by LICK_MY_GOAT_CHEESE on Reddit. It's a homage to one I did a long time ago on Notepad. If you know the corrections or that left parenthesis question mark right parenthesis things, let me know in the comments because I'm posting it in the comments on Reddit! :)

Hello there! And welcome to the Whitest Kids CD! You're listening to me! I want you to think of me, not has a CD that you own, But has a friend you could come fight in. Your best friend! We're gonna have so much fun together, and you could tell me all of your thoughts and dreams that will always be here for you. Whenever you're feeling blue, you could just put me on! So, how is your day today? Yeah? Did you have fun at school? Uh-huh? Really? They did? They did? They think they'll so fucking smug, don't they? I bet they wouldn't be so smug if we brought a fucking gun to school! That would shoot the smug right off their fucking faces, wouldn't it? I bet you're talking to you right now. But, guess what? We're talking about them! The only difference is, that we're planning. Where's your dad's gun? This is almost too easy. But, we're do this tomorrow right before first period. I think I heard your mom coming. Don't worry! I'll pretend that I'm a normal CD, I'll pretend to sing a song!

London Bridge is falling down,

Falling down, falling down.

London Bridge is falling down,

My-

Okay, the coast is clear! The bitch is gone! Now, where were we? Oh, yeah! Murder! Wow, you and I are getting along great! I feel like we can do anything together! Hey, I got a crazy idea! While we're planning our murders, Why don't you relax by masturbating? I'll play you some sexy girl sounds to help you out!

*initiate sexy girl sounds which is voiced by Darren.*

Okay! First, we need grappling hooks to get to the Cafeteria roof. Keep masturbating! Then write us that the kids are coming back from Breakthrough Quad when we propell through the sky! (?) Yeah! Keep masturbating! They'll be like fish in a barrel! Oh, your mom is coming back! Put it away, Put it away!

London Bridge is falling down,

Falling down, falling down.

London Bridge is falling-

Okay, she's gone. Hey, you know feels really good while you're masturbating? Cutting yourself. Cut yourself with one hand while you drink off at the other. We're going to kill everybody, It's gonna take forever! Yeah, it feels good, doesn't it? You know what else is gonna feel good? Watching the Look-up Taylor (?) and your classmates' faces when we descend from the roof Tomorrow morning with our guns blasing! Why did you blow on the speakers? Why did you blow on the CD tray? Cover me in your blood! Oh, my blood! You know what else I bet is really awesome? Jerking off to dog sounds!

*initiate dog sounds*

Here, listen to these while you masturbate! Oh, yeah! Oh, that's good! Oh, shit! Your mom's coming!

London Bridge is falling down,

Falling-