Megyn Kelly—host of Fox News’ The Kelly File and Black Santa truther—has announced that she’s taking an abrupt two week vacation after sparring with Cheeto-dusted bloviator Donald Trump during (and in the aftermath of) the Republican presidential debate. Is Kelly just taking a much needed break (probably to deal—as we women always do—with the blood gushing from her wherever)? Or is something more sinister at play?


Scott Eric Kaufman at Salon writes:


“Well, it’s been an interesting week—and a long six months without a vacation for yours truly,” Kelly told her viewers. “...So I’ll be taking the next week and a half off, spending some time with my husband and my kids, trying to relax...and when I see you back here on the 24th, we’ll pick it all up again.”

Hm. Let me repeat myself: HMMMMMM. Vacation? Interesting week? Yours truly? What’s really going on here? I have some theories:



1. Kelly is being punished for being slightly more distinguishable than the rest of Fox News’ indistinguishable blondes.

2. When Trump said that Kelly probably had “blood coming out of her...wherever,” he was actually referring to her eyes. Megyn Kelly is finally going to the hospital.


3. Megyn Kelly is leaving to finally have the Y in her first name removed and replaced with an A.

3. Lee Harvey Oswald: a frame job?

4. Fox News is a media organization so severely lacking in integrity that they will pressure a female reporter into taking a brief leave of absence as a penalty for doing her job, introducing the network’s fear-motivated viewership to new and radical concepts (sexism!), and critiquing the actions of Donald Trump, who—despite (or perhaps because of) his bullying, racist, and bullish tactics—has captured the hearts of right wing America.


5. Megyn Kelly wants to go to the beach with her kids.

Pull the thread and the whole dang sweater starts to unravel.

Contact the author at madeleine@jezebel.com .