The idea of a Dominant person “considering” me for a collaring feels nostalgic. An era come and past, for the most part, with some old-school Kinksters still keeping the traditions alive. The whole process of D/s-laced courtship that collaring a submissive entails feels traditional - conservative, even - compared to the hook-up culture prevalent in vanilla dating scenes. As I learned to see my submission as strength, to see value in my service, I found myself raising the bar for the Dominant people in my life. I have happy, loving relationships with people I will not submit to. Living authentically, I can love many, but submit to few.

You’re just as much under consideration as I am.

As a babe submissive, I tried out my new empowered thoughts about being “considered for collaring” with justified trepidation. When a Dominant told me I was “under consideration,” I said, “You’re just as much under consideration as I am.” Many more times than not, Dominant men bristled to the idea that they might have to prove themselves as much as they asked of me. It became an early litmus test for worthy Dominants. When I say it now, I can only hope it is received a sign of how serious I take that kind of commitment. Accepting someone’s collar is a promise of devotion and service. It’s a commitment to be your Dominant’s humble side-kick. To have complete faith and support in all their missions, to be helpful and resourceful when needed, and to be their loyal confidant, and ally.