March 9, 2012

Dear Everyone at "The Babymakers" SXSW screening:

I'm sorry I couldn't be there with you all. I'm currently in Sierra Leone helping build wells for the thirsty. I thought I'd have time to stop through Austin on my way here, but I was detoured when I saw two beached seals on the Gulf near South Padre and used all of my strength, sweat and tears to pull them back into the water and save their lives.

(NOTE to JAY- Hold for applause and gasps. About 2 solid minutes...)

So, I come to you only in this letter, by way of my director of "The Babymakers" Jay Chandra-shay... shay- Jay Chandra-something.

It’s hard for me to sit here with these small, dysentery-ridden children and know that I cannot be there, with all of you wonderful friends and supporters, for my SXSW Hollywood movie premiere.

I must end this letter short, as I'm on my way to Seoul, Korea to speak with the starving children who have been denied food by their country and educate them on a motto that I have personally lived by and think will give them some hope: Thinner is Better.

I pray this letter finds you well and God keeps you safe.

Oh, and one last thing- Some of those pictures weren't even me. I mean, you can't even see my penis… and it's pretty big for an Asian. Sheesh.

Til next we meet again...

Sincerely,

Your Cable Television Darling (from the upcoming HBO Aaron Sorkin series, "The Newsroom"),

Olivia Munn

