Perhaps it’s the slow and steady age of 30, creeping up on my twenties with a vengeance. Perhaps it’s that coveted heightened sexual libido that hits every woman in her mid- to late-twenties. Or, maybe, I am simply craving an exciting sexual tryst before the only men willing to participate are locked down, forced to hide their fetishes behind closed doors as to not offend pretentious PTA members. Either way and for any number of reasons, my mind seems to be wandering into the wonderful world of menage a trois. Twice the flesh with double the reward, agreeing to a threesome of orgasmic proportions seems like a no brainer. Seems.

What will go down as one of the most foolish decisions I have made in my twenty six years, I consciously passed up the opportunity to be the meat between two fine looking pieces of bread. Both my age, both devastatingly attractive, both outgoing and carefree; I was asked to give a sexy couple a wedding present of the sexual variety. And I passed, only to later regret my decision the way most regret a morning after in Las Vegas. So mark my words, learn from my foolish mistake, and believe me when I say, you want to say yes to a threesome.

1. Communication Capabilities: Whether it’s laying down ground rules or talking about the experience with virgin anticipation, the communication between all parties is as heightened as the sexual experience itself. A freedom to be as open and honest about what you like, don’t like, want, don’t want is as palpable as the desire you’re drenched in. As you cross boundaries and explore new territories the communication superhighway becomes as clear as the two or three vodka tonics you loosened yourself up with.

2. Spank Bank Reservoir: Take a second and attempt to comprehend the imagery you’ll be privy to. No need to touch your extensive porn collection for a while, as all the precise lighting and flattering angles will have nothing on your vivid memory. You’ll look no further than the inside of your eyelids and the corner of your mind to find one of the most intense experiences of your life. A quiet night alone just got a helluva lot more interesting.

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3. Experience For Days: Intricate positions best left for pop up Kama Sutra books and seasoned professionals will become weapons in your sexual arsenal. Having tamed the very allusive beast known as “Triple Satisfaction,” pleasing yourself and someone else will seem like child’s play. You’ll return from your deployment to Operation Menage a Trois with Positive Tactical Sexual Devices, making the bedroom your orgasmic oyster.

4. Exploration Sensation: While there will be two additional bodies in the bedroom, you’ll learn more about yourself than anyone or anything else. Your likes and dislikes will be as exposed as your lovers’ holiest of holies as you’re thrust into a sexual awakening reserved for 60s music. As you touch her and her or him and him or her and him, you’ll really be reaching into the depths of your desirous soul. Explore. Seek. Reveal. You’ll leave the bedroom feeling like you’re one important puzzle piece.

5. Sexual Bond of Brotherhood: You have your lifelong friends you share childhood stories with and your college friends you sure drunken antics with and, now, you’ll have your threesome friends you’ll always share orgasmic revelations with. There will be an extra spark between you three, an additional allure your friends of friends will sense, and a level of trust no one else could possibly fathom. No matter what happens or who goes where or what someone does or how long you’ve seen them, you’ll always share that sexy night with sexy people where the sexiest of sex happened.

So go forth and conquer, you devilish minxes you. Just please, pretty please, share the details with me so I can live vicariously through you.