Filed to: Laughing at other people's pain

As in past years, the Sun Sentinel has created a searchable database of emergency room visits around the country. And as in past years, we have trolled the data for the finest examples of insertions showcasing extraordinarily bad luck and/or ingenuity.


Sorted by orifice, working south:

Ear:

POTPOURRI BEAD

STRAWBERRY

ERASER

CHALK

GREEN LEAF

JUICE STRAW

PENCIL LEAD

SILVER METAL CHARM

A TOY

COMB


Nose:

CHRISTMAS ORNAMENT

BATTERY

TIP OF SKI POLE

TOOTHPICK

ALUMINUM FOIL

PLASTIC FISHING WORM

SPONGE

6" NAIL

STUFFING FROM STUFFED TEDDY BEAR

A BEAN

Throat:

COAT HANGER

MOUTHGUARD

CONFETTI

“WATER WITH COINS IN IT”

PLASTIC EGG

DOG TOY

DRY ICE

SCREWDRIVER

“PART OF A TISSUE OR A FUZZY PART OF MY BLANKET”

BEE

Penis:

PEN

PEN CAP

PAPER CLIP

STICK

PLASTIC PIECES FROM A GAME CARTRIDGE

FISH HOOK

“A PIECE OF A PLASTIC SPOON TO SEE HOW IT FELT”

Vagina:

TOY CAR

TOY SCREWDRIVER

ICE CREAM SCOOP

SHOWER KNOB

GLASS VIAL OF COCAINE

BALL OF YARN WITH KNITTING NEEDLE

BRACELET

SMALL RED RUBBER BALL


Rectum:

TOY SOLDIER

ACTION FIGURE

SHAVING CREAM CAN

TRAVEL TOOTHBRUSH HOLDER

NEEDLE NOSE PLIERS

SMALL BEAD

“RIDING BICYCLE NAKED, LOST BALANCE, LANDED ON POLE CAUSING TRAUMA TO RECTUM”

PENCIL ERASER

CONDIMENT BOTTLE

TIP OF TOILET WAND

SEWING THREAD 8CM LONG

DRUGS IN SOCK

PLASTIC BOTTLE OF DRUGS

HAIRBRUSH

“JAR TO DILATE RECTUM SO HE COULD MOVE HIS BOWELS”

FALSE FINGERNAIL

GLASS DILDO

PLASTIC DILDO

SOFT RUBBERIZED DILDO

VIBRATING DILDO

DOUBLE DILDO

GOLF BALL

“ATE OATMEAL, DECIDED TO STICK GARDEN HOSE IN HIS RECTUM & FLUSH SELF OUT”

6" SEX TOY

10" BOTTLE

16" SEX TOY

REBAR WIRE

“BABY BOTTLE USED IN KINKY SEX”