Story Navigation: | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8 | Part 9 | Part 10 |

From the moment I saw Vangie Ridgaway’s “Gamer Girlfriend” column about playing Dungeons & Dragons, I knew this day would come. On the surface, there was no way a tabletop fantasy role-playing game requiring that many rulebooks and dice would ever fit in on a website about videogames…yet it wasn’t long before we started discussing the possibility of a GameCola D&D session, held via podcast from the comfort of our very own homes.

Preposterous. It would never work. We’d all have to buy our own Mountain Dew, for starters.

Somewhere along the line, I had mentioned that I had some D&D experience under my Belt of Giant Strength. Somewhere along the line, someone publicly let the cat out of the Bag of Holding that I knew how to run a campaign. From then on, there was no turning back: We were having a Dungeons & Dragons podcast, and I was hosting it. And with Pelor as my witness, we were going to make this podcast about videogames. Specifically, one videogame: using the mechanics of Dungeons & Dragons, we’d be playing Crystalis.

To celebrate another anniversary of The END DAY—the apocalypse of October 1, 1997, which I’m sure we all remember—GameCola staff members Alex “Zebu” Jedraszczak, Christian “Tornel” Porter, Vangie “Asina” Ridgaway, and Mike “Kensu” Ridgaway have taken on the personas of the four wise men (or “wise persons”) of Crystalis for this, the first and longest installment of a D&D campaign that we swear was only supposed to run for one or two sessions.

In this part, you’ll hear…

A superb editing job by Alex “Zebu” “Jeddy,” who makes me sound like I know many more words than “like” and “um.”

Six minutes of uninterrupted exposition that will cause you to fall irrevocably in love with my voice. Or writhe in pain.

Deliberations over such crucial decisions as whether or not to order dessert.

SHOPPING! Which always takes forever.

An amazing impression of a drunk person that goes completely unappreciated by the group, probably because it starts sounding like that guy from Kung Pow around the 35-minute mark.

Putting out a fire…with a sword.

A battle with a dragonsnake and a turtlepod, whatever the heck those are.

The first signs that Kensu is going to have way too much fun with that polymorph spell.

…and much, much more! But you’ve probably already skipped ahead and are listening to the podcast right now.

The adventure begins here!