Mike Zimmer is not theatrical. His voice rarely changes pitch. Yet he is beginning to get “the look” that all Vikings coaches get sooner or later. It’s sort of like: Am I dreaming or is this really happening?

Les Frazier wound up with that same look. So did Brad Childress and Mike Tice and every other coach going all the way back to Bud Grant, who was born without the physical ability to change looks. And it only took Zimmer six games to get fed up.

“I’m the boss,” Zimmer said. “It’s their job to please me, not the other way around.”

Zimmer pretty much opened up a vein and bled all over the place after the Vikings’ lackluster, 17-3 home-field loss to the Detroit Lions. It’s very un-NFL-like for a coach to speak so candidly as to imply that certain guys may not be taking their jobs seriously enough. It tarnishes the corporate image. But unlike his predecessors, Zimmer clearly is not going to cover for his players.

He was straightforward in calling them out for arriving late to team meetings during the week, failing to follow direction on the sideline and otherwise being general underachievers. This is all going to change, he insisted.

“Trust me, we’re going to get disciplined,” he vowed.

Well, he’d better pack a crowbar. I’m not sure how else he’s going to get their attention. He should hurry up, too. The season is slipping away. Sunday’s performance was flat-out awful. And afterward, in his frustration, he broke the unwritten NFL code that states: “All violations of team rules shall be handled internally and kept from public view at all cost, so help me God.”

“I’m just saying some of the things we’re doing lead to undisciplined play,” Zimmer said. “We’ve got to change a lot of these things. I had to fine a lot more guys this week, for whatever reason — missing meetings, late to meetings, whatever. I’m not going to let it slide. I’m going to keep pounding my head and, like I told them, the fines are going to start going to the max now.”

As they say on the infomercials: “But wait! There’s more!”

“We’ve got guys on the sidelines talking to officials,” Zimmer said. “I tell them, ‘Don’t talk to the officials; let me do it.’ We’re undisciplined.”

I suspected they’d lose to the Lions on Sunday, but not in this manner. Conventional wisdom had it that their porous defense would be their undoing. Instead, the offense collapsed. Surprise!

Teddy Bridgewater was sacked a whopping eight times as Vikings offensive linemen resembled turnstiles. There was no running game, no passing game, no nothin’. Oh, and Norv Turner’s playbook appears to be stuck in 1992.

“It was just one of those days where we needed to show up and we didn’t,” Bridgewater’s earthly remains said afterward.

Now Zimmer, clearly disgusted, says there will be no more Mr. Nice Guy. I don’t know if fines will do the trick. All these fellows are loaded with cash. Perhaps he should impose a seven-days-a-week 1 a.m. curfew. That will shake up a significant chunk of the team.

“I fine guys every time, any time, they’re late to a meeting,” Zimmer declared. “This week, there were a couple more than normal. Some weeks we haven’t had any. So, when you have to get back and get treatment, be on time for treatment. It’s not about coming in at 8:10 when you’re supposed to be there at 8 o’clock.”

Still, I’m not sure this is completely about a lack of discipline. There is evidence to suggest that these Vikings just aren’t very good. Zimmer said he’s having a hard time getting a read on them. He is particularly baffled by the fact that his guys practice well and then play poorly.

“We had a good week in practice. We practice good,” he said. “Sundays, we don’t play as good as we need to. That’s the thing I can’t figure out: Why don’t we play like we practice? You don’t see any of this stuff going on in practice.”

That’s easily fixable, however: Charge people to come in and watch practice and let them in for free on game days.

“We’ve been prepared for every single team we’ve played this entire season,” center John Sullivan said. “We just need to go out and play better football.”

Yes, and we just need to go out and end world hunger, halt wars and develop cures for dreaded diseases. Some things are easier said than done.

Next week, the Vikings play in Buffalo. We’ll see if they are more disciplined and win. Or if they are more disciplined and lose. Or if they simply remain a lost cause.

Tom Powers can be reached at tpowers@pioneerpress.com.