(A young woman approaches the front register with a dead Siamese fighting fish in a cup.)

Customer: “I want a refund on my fish. All the fish I buy here keep dying! This is my third replacement. I don’t understand what could be wrong except that you sell sick fish!”

Me: “I’m very sorry for that, miss. I assure you we give all of our animals, including our fish, excellent care. Could you describe to me anything you noticed wrong with your fish before it passed away?”

Customer: “Well, when I first get one it’s completely fine. I change the water once a week, add water conditioner, and it seems happy and healthy. Then, after a couple of weeks it starts looking really sickly and one day it just dies for no apparent reason.”

Me: “Okay, well what were you feeding it? Was it eating well?”

Customer: “Feeding it? These kinds of fish eat?”

Me: “Yes, of course they do. Everything needs to eat.”

Customer: “Wow, really?! I thought they just ate the water.”