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Relationships have evolved dramatically since our parents and grandparents met and, chivalry was a standard.

In the 1950s, you met your significant other in person. Now, meeting on Facebook, Match.com or Tinder are becoming the new age, “we met at a bar” story.

Social media leads to many relationship nightmares that were never foreseen when the platforms were created.

The popularity of texting significantly reduced the use of phone calls in relationships as a regular method of communication.

With the change in relationship culture the commonality of casual dating, friends with benefits, hookups, open relationships, and other relationship gray areas have changed the landscape of the standard relationship statuses we once knew.

As relationships have changed there has been a loud cry that “chivalry is dead.”

Has the art of being a gentleman faded away over the decades as the relationship culture has transformed?

For some men, it has. However, for many, it hasn’t faded away. It has merely adjusted to fit the climate of today’s dating and relationship world.

What Does Chivalry Mean?

Chivalry is the act of showing courtesy towards women. The term is synonymous with being a gentleman.

The origin of the word chivalry dates back to the knightly class of feudal times in the European Middle Ages according to Britannica.com. It referred to men fully armed as knights and prepared for battle. These knights were expected to behave in an honorable and courteous manner.

Therefore, chivalry became a term over time meaning being courteous and an all-around gentleman.

In the dating world, a man showcases chivalry by displaying the standard acts of opening a woman’s door or walking on the street side of the sidewalk. These are acts he does to show he is a gentleman and willing to treat the woman he cares about as she deserves to be treated during the courting period and beyond.

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The Relationship Evolution

50 years ago, you met your significant other in person. Now, online dating is prolific.

Asking a woman on a date happened face to face or on the phone. Now, full conversations occur via text message including planning dates, becoming a couple, and even ending a relationship.

Most dates involved dinner and a movie. Now, many dates skip the dinner and replace the movie with Netflix and a side of chill.

Here are a few ways relationships have evolved over the last 50 years that shape the state of chivalry today.

More Options

With tons of social media platforms and numerous dating websites and apps, access to single people 24/7 is unprecedented. Therefore, many don’t see the need to settle down or settling down leads to difficulty staying faithful because of the unlimited access to other singles across the globe.

More Long Distance Relationships

You used to meet your significant other in person, date in the same city, and eventually move into the same home together. Now, you can meet someone on the other side of the country and start a full relationship before you even meet. The increase in career driven men and women turns many relationships long distance as people move to follow job opportunities. The ability to travel around the world quickly with planes and trains and cars along with advanced technology including Facetime and text messages allow relationship distances to increase while maintaining a romantic connection.

More Texting, Less Talking

You can date someone or be in a relationship and rarely hear their voice unless you’re together in person thanks to the popularity of the text message. This amazing technology has removed the personal aspect of having conversations for hours on the phone. Now, you text “WYD” (what you doing) with emojis and GIFs with the expectation that you will build and maintain a connection that will lead to a permanent commitment.

More Casual Dating

As mentioned earlier the endless options available to single people leads to more casual dating and relationship gray areas such as hooking up, being friends with benefits, etc. The idea of love and relationships has been lost to many who no longer believe in the possibility. So they stick to casual dating because there’s less pressure, less chance of being hurt, and less responsibility.

Keeping Chivalry Alive

In analyzing how relationships have changed in only 50 years, it’s easy to see why there is a cry that chivalry is dead. Many of the new relationship rules and practices don’t call for chivalry or being a gentleman. In such a casual and open dating society, how do we keep chivalry alive? It’s the responsibility of both men and women.

Women must realize that chivalry is not a bad thing. In the world of increased female independence and feminism, some women take on the belief that they don’t need a man to hold open their door, pull out their chair, or walk on the street side of the sidewalk. They must realize that allowing a man to take part in these actions is not a sign of feminine weakness, instead allowing a man to showcase these mannerisms demonstrates strength.

Men must realize that chivalry isn’t a bad thing and make it a point to display chivalrous behavior on a consistent basis in dating and their day to day life.

Women must set expectations for the men they date, and men must rise to the occasion. When there is mutual respect and understanding regarding how their relationship will operate, a culture of chivalry will continue to develop.

Examples of Chivalrous Behavior

To keep chivalry alive, here are behaviors a man should exhibit, and a woman should expect while dating. These ideas are from MrGentlemansGuide.com and will help any man in his quest to learn how to be a gentleman.

Hold the door open

Open the car door

Give up your seat if there isn’t enough seating available

Make sure she gets home safely

Don’t kiss and tell

Let her go first – when ordering, when walking through a door, when getting on a rollercoaster ride, etc.

Pull out her chair before she sits down

Offer unexpected nice gestures – delivering flowers, a surprise date, etc.

Give compliments – bonus point for compliments that are not about her body

Walk on the car side of the street

Have a plan for a date – don’t ask her out then expect her to plan everything

Call her – yes, pick up the phone and have an actual conversation without emojis, GIFS, and “WYD.”

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Chivalry is not dead. The relationship landscape has changed dramatically for many, so for some it just needs resuscitation. For others, it is alive and well. It’s all dependent upon your relationship expectations and experiences.

If your goal is to keep chivalry alive whether male or female you have a role to play. Women must expect it and make it a requirement. Men must rise to the occasion and make it a regular practice. Together, with a common understanding between the men and women who find it essential to maintain, chivalry will live on for centuries to come.

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Photo by Pablo Heimplatz on Unsplash

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