Thin privilege is being able to stand up for a small, powerless person that you care for very much.

A few days ago, the father of two little boys I occasionally babysit pulled me aside before leaving for work in the morning, and told me that his younger son (6) had recently had a pediatrician’s appointment, and was in the 98th percentile for BMI. His father said “He just wants to eat carbs all day; please try to get him to eat protein instead, and absolutely no sweets or treats or anything like that."

What I wanted to say was, "I have no intention of helping you put your kindergartner on the fucking Atkins diet, thereby screwing up his metabolism, relationship with food, ability to eat intuitively, self-image, and self-esteem.” What I actually said was, “Oh, well, you guys always have lots of healthy food in the house [true, since these parents are both affluent and health-conscious], I’m sure we’ll be able to put some nutritious meals together.”

I spent a good chunk of the day worrying about this situation, and thinking of tactful ways to address it more directly with the boy’s parents … wondering if I could get them copies of work by people like Ellyn Satter or Linda Bacon, and politely suggest that they take a look and consider some alternative ways to handle this. But I didn’t dare. I’ve known these parents for several years and am on very good terms with them, and I’m a good communicator and am confident that I could give them the information in a way that didn’t come off as insulting or over-the-line, but I still didn’t dare. Because, although they’re nice people, and, for the most part, excellent parents, they are also both thin, athletic, and conventionally attractive. I knew that if I brought this subject up with them, they’d be thinking, “Why would we take advice on this issue from someone who looks like you?” or “If the possible end result of following this plan is that our kid has a body like yours, we want no part of it.” They would never say it that directly (like I said, they’re very nice people) but I would know they were thinking it, I’d see it in their faces like I’ve seen it in the faces of some of the other people with whom I’ve discussed HAES/intuitive eating.

Thin privilege is knowing that if you choose to offer people information or advice, they will judge it based on its merits and the way it was presented (perhaps also considering their relationship with you and/or your knowledge of the subject in question), not dismiss it because of your body type.