It's no secret that George Lucas has made a ton of changes to his original Star Wars trilogy over the years – and that most of them were terrible.

We understand why he might have wanted to add CGI "colour" (mainly in the form of droids and stormtroopers falling over) to his transitions. We know why he ditched some of the goofier aliens from Jabba's palace. Hell, we even get why he put the hated Hayden Christensen into the end of Return of the Jedi.

But the following changes, made in the 1997, 2004 and 2011 re-releases, are notable for adding absolutely nothing to the films. We hesitate to call them pointless, but they're pointless.

Star Wars Episode IV: New Hope

1. Say "Uncle"

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As we will see time and again, George Lucas loves to mess with his original script in small and completely insignificant ways. He eases us into this strange state of affairs with this weird exchange between Luke Skywalker and Aunt Beru, who said in the original 1977 version, "Tell Uncle if he gets a translator be sure it speaks Bocce," to 1997's, "Tell your uncle..." etc.

For years we thought she was talking about our uncle. Thank the Force Lucas cleared that one up.

2. CGI rocks

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2011's edition added a load of extra rocks for R2-D2 to hide behind. Just in case he didn't feel sufficiently safe from the Sand People.

3. Obi-Wan's cry

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The cry Obi-Wan uses to scare away the Tusken Raiders grew increasingly shrill and elaborate from 1977 to 2004 to 2011. We have it on good authority that he originally sounded like a dewback, and later like a krayt dragon. Glad that's settled.

4. Han shot first – or did he?

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Perhaps the most infamous of the changes to A New Hope was the dicking around Lucas did with Han's confrontation with Greedo. Originally, Han shoots Greedo without any immediate provocation.

In 1997, Greedo shoots first instead (missing from about two feet away, the idiot), and then Han fires. In 2004 and 2007 the gaps between their shots got progressively shorter, until they are almost simultaneous. We get that Lucas wanted to paint Han as more of a hero, but make your mind up, man.

Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back

5. Luke's Ps & Qs

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"Master Luke, sir, it's so good to see you fully functional again. R2 expressed his relief also." A perfectly innocuous couple of lines that don't need fiddling with, you might think.

You would be wrong. 2011 jams in a "thanks, 3PO", presumably because Lucas always thought Luke sounded like a massive, ungrateful d-bag before. It comes out muted and rushed, making it borderline unintelligible as well as generally pointless.

6. Comedy on Dagobah

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"You're lucky you don't taste good," says Luke as he levers R2-D2 out of the Dagobah swamp. But by 2011, Lucas's sense of humour was far more refined (one look at Jar Jar Binks will tell you that), so now Luke says, "You were lucky to get out of there," instead.

7. C-3PO continues to state the obvious

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Since 1980, 3PO has exclaimed, "This is suicide," from the cockpit of the Millennium Falcon. But as of 2011 he adds, "There's nowhere to go," just in case we weren't clear that he was referring to the deadly asteroid field rapidly filling the screen. Which we were.

8. Cloud City remodelling

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Like every rich person, there's nothing Lucas likes more than tearing down walls and changing the carpet. This is evidenced on Bespin, where a load more windows and doors were added to Cloud City. To be fair, in places this does make the city seem larger and more dynamic.

But then there's the building you can see Leia in briefly. And we mean briefly – it's only on screen for a second. Why did it need to be completely ripped out and replaced? There might have been no bricks and mortar involved, but it was still a waste of time and money.

9. Aesthetically displeasing fire

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Blue flames are so 1980. The fire in Cloud City robot workshop's furnace must have offended Lucas's sensibilities somehow or other. 2011 made it orange, and threw in some artificial sparks for good measure. Problem solved!

10. Screaming Lukes

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Occasionally (and only occasionally), Lucas listens to your complaints. Take Luke's Howie Scream-like cry as he leaps from Cloud City and his newly revealed father. Apart from sounding utterly ridiculous, it also turns his brave and calculated jump into something that he seems to instantly regret.

The scream was added in 1997 and removed again from later versions for the much more badass silent fall.

11. "I am your father... father... father..."

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Even the classic dialogue at the end of Empire wasn't safe from Lucas's meddling. People obviously had no problem understanding the big reveal (we all know who Luke's father is, right?), but 2011 removes the echo effect from their dialogue. The kind of echo you'd probably expect from two people shouting in a huge enclosed space.

Return of the Jedi

12. Boba Fett, playboy

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Not satisfied with ruining Boba Fett in the prequel trilogy, the 2011 release added cutaway shots of him fondling Jabba's dancing girls while the Hutt speaks to Boushh (aka Leia in bounty hunter disguise). Get away, you creep.

13. Oola reaction shots

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In case there was any uncertainty over what happened to Oola when she was dropped in the Rancor's pit (spoiler alert: she was eaten alive), Lucas brought actress Femi Taylor back 14 years later to reprise her role in some extra random shots for the 1997 edition. Definitely worth the effort.

14. Han to the rescue

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One of the better changes made to the trilogy was the addition of ropes around Han's foot to explain how he managed to hang over the Sarlacc's pit to rescue Lando.

What makes no sense is his new response to Lando's concerned exclamation, "I thought you were blind." Han's typical, "It's alright, trust me," became 2011's, "It's alright. I can see a lot better." The best explanation we've seen for this (and we use "best" in the loosest sense of the word) is that people had speculated that Han has Force powers and could see the tentacle while blind. Was Lucas really pandering to that fringe element?

15. Darth Vader's eyebrows

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Finally, Lucas was obviously mortally offended by the thought that Darth Vader would have eyebrows. We know we were.

Mercifully, 2011 came and Sebastian Shaw's eyebrows were banished forever. Cue a galaxy-wide CG celebration!

For more changes to Star Wars Episodes IV-VI, check out Marcelo Zuniga's videos on A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back and Return of the Jedi.

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