Ask Al

ASK AL ARCHIVE

Welcome to the Ask Al Archive… all of the Ask Al’s ever asked and answered, both on weirdal.com and in The Midnight Star (an unofficial fanzine from 1993 through 1998.) Please keep in mind that some of the answers which were relevant at the time they were given will seem quite “dated” now and may possibly be inaccurate.

In lieu of a proper search engine (Hey, this is weirdal.com…not Amazon.com!) we invite you to use your browser’s “find” feature to search the Q&A’s for specific keywords for the topics you’re interested in. You could also read the entire Archive, in which case you get an A for effort! Or, you can select a specific month’s Q&A’s from the list below.

Enjoy!

“Ask Al” Q&As for June 6, 2007

Meg of Skokie, IL asks: Al, how appropriate or inappropriate is the tour material in terms of a 10-yr-old? It’s now made the top of the birthday list, and as a parent, while I’d love to see the tour, I need to know about kids…? Thank you very much!

I see every demographic in the audience at my live shows, from toddlers to geriatrics. And we do put on a “family-friendly” show… although that doesn’t mean it’s a squeaky-clean G-rated kiddie show. You should be aware there is some cartoon violence and a little bit of what some people might call “adult themes.” But there’s no harsh profanity, and nothing that I think you would find terribly offensive. As always, you should use your best judgment as a parent, but if your child wouldn’t be traumatized by, say, an issue of MAD Magazine or an episode of The Simpsons, I’m pretty sure he or she wouldn’t have any problems at all with my live show.

Susan M of Tallahassee, FL asks: How come the DualDisc doesn’t contain the video for “White & Nerdy”? It’s a fantastic disc, a fantastic song, and a fantastic video; I just don’t understand why there are lots of other (great) videos but not that one.

We weren’t able to finish that video until just a couple weeks before the scheduled release of the album. I would have included that video if I could have, but to do so would have meant delaying the release of “Straight Outta Lynwood” by a couple months, and obviously I wanted to get the album out as soon as possible (before the parodies got too dated). Of course, the video is available on iTunes (in fact, it was the #1 best-selling music video for a couple months!) and I’m hoping it will also be available on some kind of DVD compilation in the future. Actually, I can’t wait until HD-DVD or BluRay discs are more prevalent in the marketplace – most people have only seen the video in low res on MySpace or on You Tube, and as I’ve said before, we shot the thing in HD… it looks gorgeous!

Ally of Ohio asks: Hey Al, in your video for “Trapped In The Drive-Thru” why doesn’t the cartoon look like you???

Actually, when the animator Doug Bresler sent me his original animatic, the character in the video did in fact look a lot like me. But my note to him was that the video should not be too “cartoony” – it should be more or less an animated version of what the video would have looked like if we had shot it in live action. (And before you ask, no, it wasn’t ever in our budget to shoot an 11-minute live-action music video.) Anyway, if we were doing the video in live action, I would almost certainly be playing a character, not “Weird Al” – and therefore I instructed Doug to give the guy a more generic hairstyle. So if you don’t like that, blame me.

Mike of Phoenix, AZ asks: Al, can you list some of the actors with cameos in the “White & Nerdy” video? I think I got Donny Osmond…

Right – of course, that’s Donny Osmond dancing behind me (playing “Krayzie Bone” to My “Chamillionaire”)… Seth Green is the guy obsessed with action figures (he’s basically playing himself)… Judy Tenuta is the woman on the couch who graciously accepts my gift of a surge protector… the two gangstas in the car at the beginning of the video are Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele from MAD TV… and of course there are the 18 MySpace friends that I cast as extras.

Howard & Cindy Wilson of Hamilton, Ontario asks: On the back page of the CD insert, you mention Nickelback in the credits. Can we ask what inspiration they provided you with? P.S. We ourselves are not beer-swilling hockey nuts, but we do know several, eh.

Nickelback was nice enough to give their permission for me to use their song “Photograph” in the latest polka medley. I typically get clearances for the songs in the medley before I actually arrange it… and when I was putting “Polkarama!” together, I just couldn’t find a way to incorporate the Nickelback song into it where it didn’t sound wedged in or tacked on – so unfortunately I had to leave it off. You may notice that I also mentioned T Pain in the “special thanks” – similarly, he had given his blessing for me to do a parody of one of his songs. At the last minute, I decided against recording the song for the album, but if you come to one of my live shows this summer, you may hear a snippet of it somewhere in the medley…

“Ask Al” Q&As for September 2, 2006

Cliff of Somewhere Around Detroit, Michigan asks: Al, you usually only have a couple of videos for each album. Why do six (although I appreciate the extra work that you, the band and the behind-the-scenes people do so fans like me can watch more amazing videos than ever) for Straight Outta Lynwood?



It all began a couple years ago, when my record label suggested that I consider doing a DualDisc release. At the time I thought it was a great idea, because I was all in favor of anything that would make the new album more of an event and provide more “bang for the buck” for the fans. I decided early on that I wanted to do 5.1 mixes and instrumental mixes of everything, as well as a documentary on the making of the album… but what really excited me was the possibility of doing a bunch of animated videos for the originals. I generally don’t have a lot of time to come up with videos when I’m dealing with parodies, but there are typically several months between the time I finish recording the originals and the time an album gets released, so even though I knew it would be a logistical nightmare, I figured I could pull it off… which would give the album tons of “added value” and hopefully give my originals a bit more attention than they usually receive from the general public. I also like the idea of just having a ton of videos for this album, since Poodle Hat didn’t really have anyvideos (unless you count “Bob”… which most people don’t). Anyway, since our budget for all these videos was very modest (to put it mildly), I wasn’t sure what kind of talent we’d be able to attract – but to my surprise and delight, some of the best animators in the world signed on to participate, just because they loved the music and wanted to be part of this project. I really didn’t give any of the animators very much in terms of direction – I wanted them all to have as much freedom as possible in visually interpreting my songs. As you probably know by now, the Academy-Award nominated animator Bill Plympton did the video for “Don’t Download This Song”… he’s a true icon in the world of animation, and he’s done several animated feature films (including “The Tune,” “I Married A Strange Person,” “Mutant Aliens” and the soon-to-be-released “Hair High”) as well as the latest Kanye West video. I was absolutely thrilled that John Kricfalusi agreed to do one of the videos – he’s a true genius and one of my all-time heros (many of you would know him as the creator of Ren & Stimpy). The folks from Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim show Robot Chicken did an amazing stop-motion animation piece (which will World Premiere on their show on September 24!) At this point, Thomas Lee is probably best known for animating “Star Wars Gangsta Rap” (which is one of those songs on the Internet that I’m often mistakenly given credit for)… but I have a feeling that pretty soon he’ll be more famous for his phenomenal Weird Al video – it’s really outstanding. David C. Lovelace did some terrific work as well – he’s best known for a flash-animated Internet series called “Retarded Animal Babies” (If you want to check out his other stuff online, be forewarned: it is very, very, very un-family-friendly!) And the great Jim Blashfield did a piece – you might remember some of the remarkable photo-collage-type videos he did in the ’80s (“And She Was” by Talking Heads, “Boy In The Bubble” by Paul Simon, “Leave Me Alone” by Michael Jackson, etc.) So we’ve got six very different and very exciting videos on the DualDisc. Plus there’s a big-budget live-action music video in the works which I’m directing, and we just found out that JibJab has agreed to put out an animated video for one of the parodies later this year. So that’s what, 8 videos on this album so far? Hope that’s enough for ya!

John Turnbull of Kona, Hawaii asks: Hey Al! So I’ve been wondering. Did you have an alternate album cover/title picked out before the entire issue arose with “You’re Pitiful”? Any chance you’ll ever show it to us (if you had taken it already)?

The album was always going to be called Straight Outta Lynwood and have some kind of gangsta imagery on it. I had decided on that even before I knew I was going to do a James Blunt parody, but I thought it actually would have worked very well with “You’re Pitiful.” I really liked the irony of having that kind of title and cover with such a toothless ballad for the lead parody… but as it turns out (with the upcoming Chamillionaire parody) the cover has become unintendedly appropriate. For the record, all of the photographs for the album were taken on April 22, 2006 by Michael Blackwell.

Maria of Wilmington, IL asks: Do the letters on the license plate on the cover of your new CD stand for anything?

The numbers and letters have several meanings – “NLY” are my daughter’s initials as well as my father’s initials. “27” is obviously my favorite number and an in-joke with my fans, but February 7 (2/7) was also my mother’s birthday.

Lizzi K of Chicago, IL asks: Hey Al, I was wondering whose dog that is on the cover of your new album? Is it a “dog model” or a stock photo/drawing or what?

Strangely enough, while the photographer was taking pictures of me in front of that 1967 Chevy Impala convertible, a young couple walked by with a pit bull. They said, “Hey, do you want to use our dog in the shot?” And we said, “Sure, why not?” I don’t remember the owner’s name, but the dog’s name was Dough Boy. Anyway, we wound up liking that particular shot so much that it wound up as the cover image. The picture that I originally intended to be the cover is now on the back of the CD case. There are a lot of great pictures in the package – the DualDisc comes with a 24- page full-color booklet!

Ed of Winter Garden, Florida asks: Hey Al! Love your work, but aren’t you slipping a bit? “Don’t Download This Song?” I mean, the whole downloading music from the Internet controversy is like 5 years old, man!

Yeah, you’re absolutely right. It’s a completely dead issue – people stopped illegally downloading songs off the Internet years ago, and the RIAA is no longer taking legal action against P2P sites or criminalizing people who share files. What was I thinking? Thanks for setting me straight. By the way, don’t forget to e-mail Neil Young and ask him why he’s still writing songs about Iraq on his new album. I mean, come on… that war is so 2003!

“Ask Al” Q&As for June 28, 2006

Noah Halford of San Rafael, CA asks: Hey Al! I was wondering (along with probably a bunch of other fans)… WHY won’t “You’re Pitiful” (which is a great and hilarious song, by the way) be on the next album?

Thanks for asking… That question is answered pretty well in a recent piece on NPR, so you may want to click here.

Cliff C of Trabuco Canyon, CA asks: Okay Al, now that the CD is delayed, does that mean the tour won’t start until much later this year, or we will be waiting until next summer?

Back when we thought the album was coming out in June, we were fully intending to have a tour starting in August. Now, unfortunately, that’s not going to happen. The plan at this point is for us to tour next summer – no matter what. I suppose it’s possible that we’ll hit the road before then, but I’m sorry to say it’s pretty unlikely.

Sizzling Volleyball of Budd Lake, NJ asks: Hey Al, have kind of a complicated/tedious question for you: Over the years, I’ve wondered how your homages or songs “in the style of” come into being. Many are homages to “demented” bands (B-52s, Talking Heads, Devo, Oingo Boingo, TMBG, Zappa, etc.), but others are less so. Also, there are many that seem to be affiliated to no one particular band, but are genre parodies: unplugged, ska, hair band, etc. Are these bands that you listen to, and so are a sort of tribute? Or are they something else?

As you’ve obviously noticed, I have done quite a few “style parodies” over the years – that’s what I call songs that are original (as in, not direct parodies) and yet they are done in the style of another artist, group or genre of music. It’s an interesting exercise for me to try to get into the heads of these artists – or at least attempt to crudely forge their musical signatures. In fact, I enjoy doing these kinds of songs so much, I hardly ever do an “original” original any more. (I guess “Hardware Store” could be considered a true original – but truth be told, that was actually a screwed-up style parody. I started out trying to write in the style of a particular group, but I got it so wrong that I just gave up and did it my own way instead.) The artists that I’ve style-parodied range from the extremely popular (Bob Dylan, Nine Inch Nails, James Taylor, etc.) to the semi-obscure (Tonio K, The Rugburns, Hilly Michaels, etc.) – but they’re all favorites of mine, and my homages to them are always done with great affection and attention to detail. In the past, I never put the artists that I style-parodied in the Special Thanks section on my album, mostly because I wanted to see if fans could figure out what I was doing (without being given any obvious hints). But I’ve come to realize that’s a little unfair to those artists – to whom I certainly owe a huge debt of gratitude – so I plan to acknowledge all my musical influences in the CD liner notes in the future.

Yancy Gadzonski of Glendale, Wisconsin asks: How did you feel about Vince Vaughn’s reference to you in the uncut version of the recent hit comedy, “Wedding Crashers”?

I was very flattered, of course. I understand that Vince Vaughn completely ad libbed that scene, so it’s nice to know I’m there floating around in Vince’s subconscious mind.

Kevin of Lexington, Ohio asks: I thought I had heard a rumor about the upcoming album being your last one. Is there any truth to this?

Absolutely not. “Poodle Hat” was my last album. My upcoming album is my next one. I don’t know how these silly rumors get started.

Back to the Ask Al Index

“Ask Al” Q&As for April 27, 2006

Tracy A. of Hudson, Florida asks: Okay, Al. So what DID that huge “27” that flashed on the screen April 7th really mean? Everyone wants to know. Come on, spill your guts!

Oh, okay. Well, if you must know, the big “27” that appeared briefly on this web site was the beginning of a teaser campaign to announce that the new album was coming out on June 27. I’m very sorry to say that the album is not coming out on June 27 anymore, due to something which threw a major monkey wrench into our release plans. (Don’t worry, it’s just silly record company politics. Maybe I’ll tell you the story someday.) Anyway, we’re obviously trying to resolve the issue, and hoping to get the album out as soon as humanly possible. I’m bound and determined to get it out… well, sometime this year, for sure. I really think it’s a great album (although I may be just a little biased) and I sure hope everybody will think it’s been worth the wait.

Stephanie of Fullerton, CA asks: Why did the Permanent Record go out of print?

My box set didn’t go out of print due to lack of interest. The only reason it went out of print is… are you ready for this?… my record label lost the artwork. A few years ago, when all the assets of Scotti Bros. were being transferred over to Volcano, somehow the artwork to Permanent Record slipped between the cracks, and is ostensibly lost forever. (If you see it turn up on eBay, you WILL let me know, won’t you?) I realize that we could just scan existing booklets and CD art and crank out boxed sets with slightly inferior graphics, but that’s not how I roll, boyyy.

Erich Reinhardt of Hagersville, Ontario, Canada asks: On your “Ultimate Video Collection”, I noticed there is an Easter Egg containing archival footage of your performance of “My Bologna” shot in 1979. Was that a performance that was shown on a local cable show, or was it at a local entertainment club where they shoot all of their performances? And also, was the song for the performance pre-recorded, and then synched in to match your lips and accordion playing? What’s the story behind that?

That performance was done while I was a student at Cal Poly, San Luis Obispo (although it was actually shot at nearby Cuesta College). My friend (and fellow KCPR DJ) Randy Kerdoon needed to shoot a live music performance for a school project that he was doing, and he asked me to lip sync to my then-new recording of “My Bologna.” He put me in a small studio on campus, turned on a couple cameras, and documented Young Al Yankovic doing what was arguably his first music video. It’s absolutely terrible, yet of earth-shatteringly profound historical significance.

Tim Sloane of Ijamsville, MD asks: Al, which of these purchasing methods should I use in order to make sure the most profit gets to you: Buying one of your albums on CD, or buying one of your albums on iTunes?

I am extremely grateful for your support, no matter which format you choose to legally obtain my music in, so you should do whatever makes the most sense for you personally. But since you ASKED… I actually do get significantly more money from CD sales, as opposed to downloads. This is the one thing about my renegotiated record contract that never made much sense to me. It costs the label NOTHING for somebody to download an album (no manufacturing costs, shipping, or really any overhead of any kind) and yet the artist (me) winds up making less from it. Go figure.

Bob Malaggese (rhymes with crazy) of Quakertown, PA asks: I saw the new pictures of you and Coolio. Does this mean that all is forgiven?

Well, it appears that 10 years after the initial brouhaha, Coolio has decided to let bygones be bygones. I was at the Consumer Electronics Show earlier this year signing autographs at the XM Radio booth, when somebody told me, “Hey, did you know Coolio is in the building?” A few minutes later it was “Hey, Coolio is in the area” and then “Hey, Coolio is coming over here to see you!” I admit I was a little nervous at the time, since I didn’t know if I should be expecting a handshake or a punch in the eye. As it turned out, Coolio couldn’t have been nicer – he just walked up to the table and started signing one of my pictures with his own name (see the picture in our Gallery). The cameras started going off like crazy. I don’t remember what we said to each other exactly, but it was all very friendly – and after a minute, he was gone. I turned to the next person in line and said, “Did that really just happen?” So to answer your question, I doubt I’ll be invited to Coolio’s next birthday party, but at least I can stop wearing that bulletproof vest to the mall.

“Ask Al” Q&As for November 15, 2005

Greg Osborne of Vista, CA asks: Hey, Al! So what was it like doing “Extreme Makeover: Home Edition”?

I had a great time. Nothing like flying to Wells, Maine for a day! I never got to actually meet the family, but Ty, the designers and all the workers couldn’t have been nicer. (For those who didn’t see the episode, the gag was that the girl in the family apparently really loved polka dots, so Ty got “confused” and thought she loved polka – ergo my appearance in the show.) I hear some fans were upset that the girl didn’t seem too happy about me playing that polka for her, but that was the joke – if she had looked like she was enjoying it, it wouldn’t have been as funny. They shot a lot of footage – after I serenaded Amanda (actually I serenaded Ty’s video camera – the family didn’t see the footage until a week or so later) I went around the construction site with my accordion and annoyed the workers with polka music for about an hour. Of course, prime-time network TV reality shows being what they are, they only used a very small portion of what they shot. In fact, the song that I wrote for the show was cut down considerably. Here are the full lyrics:

Well, there’s a girl named Amanda who lives in Wells, Maine

She never has boys or shopping on her brain

There’s only one thing drivin’ her insane

All she cares about is polka

Congratulations, Amanda

Rebecca, Doug and Tabitha too

‘Cause I brought my accordion

And soon I will be moving in with you

Because you don’t want 50 Cent here

Or that Matchbox Twenty guy

Oh no, you just want to polka

And so I’ll stay right here and polka polka polka polka polka till I die… hey!

How do you like your new polka room, Amandaaaaa?!

Matt Ceccato of Norcross, GA asks: Did you write your own copy for the material you presented in “I Love The 80s” or was it scripted by someone else?

When I have my own segment (like “Movies That Should Have Been In 3-D”) I am given a script, but I am allowed to re-write it as much as I want. Some bits I wind up using as is, some bits I tweak a little, and some bits I re-write completely. For the question and answer stuff, sometimes I get the questions in advance, sometimes not – but the answers always come from me.

Rachel C. of Lufkin, TX asks: I’m dying to know. Is that really you on myspace.com? If not, someone’s out there impersonating you!

I am not on myspace.com. Every now and then I hear about someone on the Internet claiming to be me – and yet, sadly, they are not. Here’s a good way to tell for sure – whenever I have any kind of presence on the Internet, it will be on weirdal.com, or be linked from weirdal.com. Otherwise, it’s highly unlikely that it’s really me.

Nathan Brody of Hamilton Square, New Jersey asks: When you sing songs, do you do the background vocals or the lead vocals first?

I almost always record the lead vocals first. The only exception that comes to mind is “It’s All About The Pentiums.” I had pitched Puff Daddy on the parody idea, and by the time I finally got his official approval, we were already in the final studio sessions for “Running With Scissors”! It was such a last minute addition to the album that I had no choice but to record all the instrument tracks and background vocals first, just to buy me some time to come up with the lyrics. We were mixing the last few songs on the album by the time I finished writing the lyrics to “Pentiums,” and I wound up recording the lead vocals just a couple days before the album had to be mastered. It’s a good thing I work well under pressure!

Garrett Fritzler of Denver, Colorado asks: First I want to say that I think the music you do is great, and even though I like the songs you make fun of, I love your versions even more. But my question is, do you write all the stuff on this website? I know you write the feedbacks to the questions, but what about everything else?

I write the Ask Als, the FAQ, the News and the updates on the splash page… Bermuda writes most of the “funny” captions in the Gallery, compiles the obsessive lists and selects the Fan Art. Pretty much everything else on the site is either written by him or me.

“Ask Al” Q&As for October 2, 2005

Gary Derrick of Mustang, Oklahoma asks: I was recently watching Late Night with Conan O’Brien and the tambourine player with that night’s musical guest (whom I can’t really remember at the moment) looked surprisingly like you… any idea who your evil twin is?

Well, first of all, it was Jay Leno, not Conan O’Brien… and FYI, the musical guest was Ben Folds… and the guy who looked surprisingly like me was… me. But you’re absolutely right, it WAS a tambourine. The story is, Ben and I have been friends for a while (I directed one of his music videos and we’ve performed on each other’s albums). I went to see Ben when he was in concert here in Los Angeles, and afterwards we were hanging out in his dressing room. At one point he said to me, “Hey, I’m doing the Tonight Show tomorrow – you should come on the show with me and just play tambourine!” And we both laughed at what a ridiculous idea that was. Then the next morning, he called me up and said, “I just woke up from this weird fever dream, and I think it was some kind of a sign… you HAVE to play tambourine on the show.” I was honored to accept his offer, of course, so I hopped in the car and headed down to the NBC studios, practicing the tambourine as I drove. I was surprised when I got to the stage… I thought they were going to have me tucked away somewhere behind the string section, but they had me standing right next to Ben’s piano. It was kind of surreal – my first appearance on the Tonight Show in 20 years, and there I was being a professional tambourine player! Well, needless to say, I had a blast, and I think the performance came off very well. And I’ll be happy to slap the tambourine again for Ben any time he wants.

Thomas Safayee of Hayward, California asks: What character do you do the voice of in “The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy”?

I did three episodes of “The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy,” each time playing a character called the Squid Hat. These episodes were all Harry Potter parodies, and my character was a take-off on the sorting hat at the Hogwarts School. Unfortunately, John Vernon (the wonderful actor who played Toadblatt in those episodes, as well as Dean Wormer in “Animal House”) passed away recently, so I have to assume they won’t be continuing that storyline.

Hannanh of St. Louis, MO asks: Why do you write dirty songs? Since I’ve heard a few (like “Bill Clinton Bimbo Number 5”) myself and a few of the kids at my school (like 183) are boycotting you and spreading the word fast. You disgust me!

As I’ve stated very clearly in the FAQ, there are a lot of crude and vulgar parodies floating around the peer-to-peer sites that have my name attached to them. They are NOT by me. All of my material is really pretty family friendly. Of course, you would KNOW this if you actually BOUGHT my CDs instead of trying to ILLEGALLY DOWNLOAD them off the Internet like the amoral-yet-self-righteous HOOLIGAN you obviously are! YOU disgust ME!! Ah, the delicious irony of it all…

Nolan Klinedinst of Reykjavik, Iceland asks: I’m looking to buy a midi accordion. What is the model that you play in concert?

Occasionally in concert I play a red Hohner midi accordion. It’s really a great instrument, but the technology is a little outdated now (the keys only send on/off midi messages – dynamics are not possible at all.)

Caro of Connecticut asks: Can u send me your music for free?

Yes, I certainly can. And yet, I shan’t.

“Ask Al” Q&As for September 6, 2004

Kristine Slipson of Mission Viejo, CA asks: I heard that you were attacked my an angry mob of moths… what exactly happened?

I was kind of surprised when the AP wire picked this up and it became a worldwide news story. (Gee, maybe I should get attacked by bugs more often!) What happened was, we were doing a concert at a state fair in DuQuoin, Ilinois when we basically found ourselves playing in the middle of a swarm of bugs. (They weren’t really moths, they were mayflies – which, for the record, are much, much more disgusting). They were all over my clothes, my accordion and my hair, but luckily they didn’t find their way into any of my orifices. When I rolled around on the floor at the end of the show, I found myself rolling over hundreds of mayflies. Yecch.

Judy of Independence, MO asks: Is it true that you were the Grand Marshall for the 17th Annual Elvis Parade in Kansas City, Missouri in August of 2004?

Yes, and it was by far the best Elvis parade that I’ve ever participated in. I was a little confused and disoriented when I found out that it was actually honoring Elvis Presley (and not Elvis Costello, as I had hoped)… but I had a great time anyway.

Michael Anino of Santa Rosa, CA asks: Did you get to meet Don Knotts for the Johnny Bravo cartoon or did you just do voices at different times? ‘Cause you and Don Knotts are both heroes of mine.

Thanks. Don is a hero of mine too, so I was disappointed to find out that he couldn’t make it to the studio that day (he wasn’t feeling well). I got to record my voice tracks along with Gary Owens, Tom Kenny and everybody else, though… and had a blast! Don Knotts apparently came in a couple weeks later to do his part.

Cliff Clinton of Trabuco Canyon, CA asks: Dear Al, is September 25 the end of the tour for a while?

That’s the plan. Anything can change, so don’t hold me to this, but I’m thinking that I won’t be going back on the road again until summer 2006.

Lee Martin of Austin, TX asks: What kind of morons do you have working for you? They gave the reviewer for the Austin TX paper the WORST possible seats (SRO) so now you have a bad review…..

Gee, I’m terribly sorry about that. Some reviewer actually had to STAND UP during a sold-out rock concert? That’s inexcusable. But I have to ask…What kind of morons do you have working at newspapers in Austin that would base an entire review of an artist’s performance on whether or not they had a good seat?

“Ask Al” Q&As for September 2, 2003

Randy of Albuquerque, NM asks: I have been trying to find the DVD called “‘Weird Al’ Yankovic: The Videos” and I understand it is out of print. Will it be available in the future?

The bad news is, yes, that particular item has in fact gone out of print and will most likely remain in that condition for the rest of eternity. The good news is, we’re currently putting the finishing touches on a brand-spanking-new and completely up-to-date DVD called “The Ultimate Collection.” It will have 24 of my music videos, plus a photo gallery, on-screen lyrics and 5.1 surround sound. And we’ve even “cleaned up” some of the older videos a little bit – they look great. Anyway, we’re trying to rush-release this for a September 22 street date in Australia. The North American release will most likely be sometime in November.

Amanda of Bend, OR asks: Hey Al, I was wondering why you say you don’t like to talk about political issues but in some interviews you talk about them anyway. Why?

Well, it’s true – I really don’t like talking about political issues in interviews. But when an interviewer asks me a direct question, I feel somewhat obligated to either give them a direct answer, or make a joke, or perhaps a little combination of both. Unfortunately, it’s normally considered pretty rude just to jump out of my chair and run screaming out of the room with my hands over my ears.

Greg Method of Cleveland, OH asks: I know you usually hate to change a song for a network broadcast performance. So, did you whittle down “Couch Potato” to two verses for the Nickelodeon Magazine special, or did Nickelodeon edit the song afterward? If it’s the latter, were you aware of it before it aired? I just ask because if you did perform the whole song, I’m wondering if you were able to mention the Playboy and Disney Channels, or if you used alternate lyrics.

Nickelodeon did have a few specifications: the song had to be 3 minutes long, and I wasn’t able to mention the Playboy Channel or the word “gay.” I decided to cut out the second verse and chorus of the song (which solved the first two problems) and instead of “gay,” I had the band yell “hey!” Normally I wouldn’t edit or censor my songs like that, but since we don’t have a video for “Couch Potato,” I’m a little more likely this time around to do whatever it takes to get it on the air.

Damien Pearse of Benalla, Victoria, Australia asks: Is there any chance of your TV show being aired on Australian cable TV now that you’re touring Australia?

I’m not exactly sure which TV show you’re referring to, but if you mean AL-TV, then you’re in luck! It appears that the latest AL-TV special will air in Australia on the Comedy Channel on October 5 at 3:00 PM.

Joshua Silvius of Chicago, IL asks: Why didn’t you choose to run for governor of California?

I just didn’t want to take any votes away from more qualified candidates, like Gallagher.

“Ask Al” Q&As for August 15, 2003

Jeff Nichols of Mattoon, IL asks: How long until you qualify for the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame?

Well, from what I understand, an artist or band becomes eligible 25 years after the release of their first record. “My Bologna” came out in 1979, so let’s see… I guess that means I’ll be eligible next year! I’m not going to hold my breath, though… I think my chances of ever making it into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli’s.

Mark Souder of St. Petersburg, Florida asks: Do you think you will ever go against Coolio on Celebrity Boxing?

Is that show still on the air? Well, to answer your question, no, for three reasons… I don’t have a beef with Coolio, I don’t want to fight anybody, and I don’t have a pathological need to humiliate myself on TV. Believe it or not, the producers of that show did call me at one point – they wanted me to fight Chyna (the woman from the World Wrestling Federation.) I somehow didn’t see it as a positive career move to either beat up or (much more likely) get beat up by a woman on national TV, so naturally I passed. (I think Joey Buttafuoco finally wound up fighting her. Well, at least it’s nice to know I ranked higher on the producer’s list than Joey Buttafuoco!)

Trevor Haworth (Weird Albert) of Springfield, IL asks: Who were those other “Backstreet Boys” behind you at eBay [Live]?

Those were dancers hired specifically for the occasion. A choreographer worked with them to develop a dance routine to perform while they lip-synched the background vocals. I didn’t meet them or know exactly what they were going to do until I flew into Orlando that morning to do the show. They did a phenomenal job, and we all had a great time.

Chris Newsom of Springfield, Virginia asks: Did you voice your character on Celebrity Deathmatch?

No, I didn’t. I didn’t even know about the show (where I battle to the death with then-Vice President Al Gore) until shortly before it aired. I did think that whoever was doing my voice did a pretty impressive imitation, though!

Gina of Alto, MI asks: Will you ever release The Weird Al Show on DVD and make me the happiest woman on earth??

I don’t have time to do both. Figure out which one you want and get back to me.

“Ask Al” Q&As for August 7, 2003

Jake L. of Readington, NJ asks: When you recorded your lines for The Simpsons, were there any that got cut out of the episode?

Thankfully, my part wasn’t cut at all, which was lucky for me because I know a lot of really, really funny lines from that episode wound up on the cutting room floor. My band recorded the instrumental track for the “Jack and Diane” parody at Mad Dog Studios in Burbank, but I got to go to the 20th Century Fox lot to sing the song and read my lines in a studio sitting next to Dan (Homer Simpson) Castellaneta himself, which was a huge thrill for me. Originally I was only intended to be in the body of the show, but the recording session went so well, the writers thought it would be a great idea for me to sing an extended version of the parody over the closing credits (and of course, I did too)! So they came up with some additional lyrics and I went back to the Fox lot several weeks later to record that as well. Then, shortly before the show aired, I had to go back one more time to re-record the end of the song… I think the original ending went something like, “Oh yeah, we got time to fill / Why don’t you go pee before King Of The Hill?” The problem was, by the time the episode was scheduled to air, The Simpsons was being followed by Oliver Beane, not King Of The Hill – so they had me change it to the more generic “Oh yeah, Weird Al had fun on this show / Even if it was just a brief cameo.” Being on The Simpsons was definitely a high point in my life – big thanks to all the writers, producers and artists who helped make it happen!

Christopher P. “ClabberHeads” Sedtal of Groves Texas asks: How do you feel about the Comedy Grammy now re-including “musical comedy” as well as “spoken word comedy?”

Well, I’m thrilled, of course. For the last decade the Grammys have chosen to limit their nominees in the Comedy category to spoken word performances (ie: stand-up comedians), thereby effectively eliminating any chance of my getting nominated, going to the ceremonies and eating free food. But recently they have overturned their decision, and now the Comedy category will once again include both spoken-word and musical comedy… so cross your fingers for Poodle Hat next year!

Christian of New Hyde Park, New York asks: In the song “Party at the Leper Colony,” I heard something that sounded like a Hammond B3 organ. Was that a real one, or was it a synthesizer?

Normally we probably would have used a synthesizer, but it just so happened that there was an actual B3 organ lying around the Mad Dog Recording Studio, so we were able to get the actual authentic vintage sound.

Jeannie of Tokyo, Japan asks: Was “Wanna B Ur Lovr” intended to be a style parody of anyone specific? It totally sounds like Midnite Vultures-era Beck to me, but I was just wondering.

You’re right on the money. The Prince-like title throws a lot of people, but that song is actually intended to sound like me trying to sound like Beck trying to sound like Prince.

Glabber Dabber of ValleyJoe Killa, CA asks: Have you ever had frog legs?

No, they’ve always been human.

“Ask Al” Q&As for July 5, 2003

Bobbi Jordan of Boardman, OR asks: Will you identify for us the people on the cover of Poodle Hat?

Well, let’s see… the guy with the poodle on his head would be me. The very pregnant woman with the sunglasses is my wife Suzanne. The guy in the surgical scrubs is my friend Joel Miller. The woman in the foreground with her legs crossed is my first-cousin- once-removed Tammy (who also played Queen Amidala in my video for “The Saga Begins”). UH Jeff, the guy that screens my fan mail, is the guy wearing the NY Yankees cap way in the back. Steve Jay’s son Ian is the really tall blond bicycle messenger. Tracy Berna, one of the writers for the Weird Al Show, is the waitress with the beehive hair-do. The Boy Scout is Dylan Bostick, the oldest son of one of Suzanne’s oldest friends. Bermuda’s wife Leslie is in there too. Plus there’s my mother-in-law, my father-in-law, my electrician, a couple from my church, the owner of my favorite ice cream shop, my aunt’s boyfriend… I think we got maybe 2 or 3 people from the casting office, but the overwhelming majority were friends and family members that just wanted to come to the shoot.

Adam Shuler of Casa Grande, AZ asks: Hey Al! Why was your current Al-TV special only an hour long? Is that all VH-1 was willing to give you?

Let me first point out that it was pretty darn generous of VH1 to let me do a TV special that was “only” an hour long. Maybe some of you got spoiled by the AL-TV specials in the 80’s which were four hours long. In case you don’t remember, those specials aired exactly once – but with an hour-long show, it’s much easier to fit it into a programming block, so the new AL-TV special can be aired repeatedly (and it already has). The down side is that I was not able to do all the things that I normally do in an AL-TV, including AL-News and showcasing music videos from other artists that I like. I chose to concentrate on the celebrity interviews, because those seem to be everybody’s favorite part of AL-TV – plus I didn’t have a lot of spare time and I needed to focus on creating video material that I could also use in my live concerts.

Alison Cuomo-Nason of Keene, NH asks: Let me start by saying I’m a BIG Zappa fan and old enough to have seen him in concert many times during the late 60’s & through the 70’s. I absolutely LOVE “Genius in France”! You nailed it!! “GIF” is truly a masterpiece! (Thanks for doing it for ME!) Now to the question – I am curious if you are getting much criticism from the masses who have misinterpreted your intent and believe you wrote “GIF” in response to the war in Iraq? Great to see “Ask Al” back! (BTW- You ROCKED North Tonawanda! Looking forward to another 5 concerts this summer!

Thanks! Yes, let me now say for the record, I did not write “Genius In France” as any sort of political statement. I wrote the song long before the war in Iraq started, and it was never my intention to jump on any kind of “bashing the French” bandwagon. I was bashing the French before it was trendy.

Andrew Geanacopoulos of Ludlow, MA asks: Was it true that the hilarious radio talent Phil Hendrie did the narration for the UHF trailer?

Yes, Phil Hendrie (who now is a famous syndicated radio host) and I used to be peons working together at Westwood One in the early 80’s, and we shared a warped sense of humor. I thought it would be a good choice to use him as the authoritative voice on the UHF trailer.

Madeline Jarvis of Little Falls, MN asks: Is Ruben single?

Yes, thankfully there’s just one of him.

“Ask Al” Q&As for May, 2000

CMonkey2000 of Spatula City, Liechtenstein asks: Seriously, how do you rationalize being a vegan and playing a gig at the Great American Rib Cook-Off?

The same way I can rationalize playing at a college even though I’m not a student anymore.

Stanley Spudski of Phoenix, AZ asks: Hey Al. In the insert/lyrics page included with the “Running With Scissors” CD there is a picture of you and your band. Is there any special reason why your drummer, Jon “Bermuda” Schwartz, chose the number “9” to wear on his shirt?

I think it’s because of his being a Beatles fan (“Number nine…. Number nine…. Number nine…”)

Emily of Dayton, OH asks: Al, it states in “Behind the Music” that you skipped two grades during school. Which two were they?

Actually I only skipped one grade (I was pulled out of second grade and placed in third), but I also started kindergarten a year early.

Jeremy McCarthy of Fairfield, CT asks: Hey Al!!!!! What do u think about Napster? I just want to know if you approve.

I have very mixed feelings about it. On one hand, I’m concerned that the rampant downloading of my copyright-protected material over the Internet is severely eating into my album sales and having a decidedly adverse effect on my career. On the other hand, I can get all the Metallica songs I want for FREE! WOW!!!!!

Bill of Torrance, CA asks: Did you sing the following songs: “Toast,” “Baby Got Jack,” “Ugly Girl,” and “Livin’ La Vida Yoda.” I’m asking because people download these songs and the title would say “by Al Yankovic.”

No, no, no, and no. This is actually my biggest problem with all those mp3-download services. A large number of the songs which are attributed to me are NOT by me at all. Some of the songs supposedly by me are, in fact, rather profane, and it disturbs me that some people might be led to believe that I’m responsible for them. Check the discography on my web site if you’re ever in doubt as to whether something is really a Weird Al song or not.

Andie Forslund of Houston, TX asks: Hi Al! I just got a copy of “The Compleat Al” video off ebay, and I noticed the video for “This Is The Life” was different from the one on the DVD of all your videos. Why is that? Love ya!

Back when we were putting “The Compleat Al” together, for one reason or another we weren’t able to secure the rights to use clips from the movie “Johnny Dangerously” in “This Is The Life,” even though that video was made specifically to promote the movie. So old stock footage was used to replace those movie clips. Years later we finally managed to secure the rights to use the clips, and we were able to release the original version of the video with the movie scenes intact.

Autumn Wright of Albany, OR asks: Hey Al! I heard you got something in your eye during the MO concert on 4/26! I’m sorry! Are you all better now?

I’m just fine now, thanks for asking. During “Like A Surgeon” the stethoscope flew up into my face and cut my eyeball. Luckily it missed my cornea and I healed quickly.

Jonathan D. H. Parshall of Brevard, North Carolina asks: Now that Orion Pictures is defunct, who owns “UHF”? MGM? And do you have any stake in ownership?

I don’t have any ownership of the title – MGM has the rights to “UHF” at the moment. I’m hoping that they’ll put the DVD out one of these days, but they don’t seem to be in any hurry. (In the meantime, though, they’ve found the time to send me a cease-and-desist letter barring me from using any clips from “UHF” in my live show – which is why we had to change the concert films a few months ago.)

Will Dyess of Cincinnati, Ohio asks: How do you feel about the massive cuts (nearly 15 minutes are missing) made for the TV version of “UHF”?

I have no idea why Comedy Central butchers “UHF” so much when they air it. You’d think the network that made “South Park” famous wouldn’t have a problem with ANY of the content in MY movie!

Matt Driscoll of Fresno, CA asks: What was the name of the actor in UHF who went “You so stupid”?

That was the great Gedde Wattanabe, playing the part of Kuni the karate instructor. He also got to reprise that role in an episode of “The Weird Al Show.”

Weird Alice of twenty-sevenville asks: At the end of the “I Lost On Jeopardy” video, there was a guy in a car who turned and winked at the camera. Who was that person?

That was none other than Greg Kihn, who wrote and performed the original “Jeopardy” song.

HArold WAide of Dansville, NY asks: When you are in the studio, what order do you usually lay the tracks down on a given song?

Usually I record drums, bass and rhythm guitar all at once – then if we get a drum track that’s usable, we do fixes on the bass and guitar tracks. All other instrumental overdubs come next, and the vocals usually go on last.

Tim Montgomery of the same city/state Amber lives in asks: Greetings, Al! I just gotta know: when you record songs for an ALbum, do you already have the lyrics memorized or do you sing them while looking at the lyrics sheet?

I usually use a lyric sheet when I sing in the studio, both to help me remember the words and also to allow me to make notes and changes as I go along.

Tiffany “Pretty Fly for a Shicksa” Baxendell of Clairton, PA asks: Every time I hear “Albuquerque” I laugh out loud. How did you handle what all that screaming does to your voice while you’re recording an album?

“Albuquerque” is one of those songs that I would always save till the end of a session, because my voice would be too shot to sing anything else afterwards.

Kenneth Edwards of Waynesboro, VA asks: Did you ever meet Adam Sandler?

I’ve run into him a few times. The first time I met him we were both appearing on an episode of that old MTV game show “Remote Control.” From what I remember, he wasn’t making $20 million a picture at the time.

Torso Girl of Sydney, Australia asks: Hey Al! Were you ever in the International Comedy Festival “Just For Laughs”? If so, what were you doing – I didn’t think you were a stand up comedian as well!

I didn’t really do stand up, but I did host one of the “Just For Laughs” gala events in 1990, and I played several songs with my band. We were featured on the live “Just For Laughs” Showtime special that year, and we were invited back several years later to play a couple more tunes for the Festival.

Mandy of Calabasas, CA asks: I went to one of your concerts out here and I heard you sing a song about pizza to the tune of “My Heart Will Go On.” What is the name of the song and if it is on one of your CD’s, which one is it on? Thanks.

The official name of the song is “Free Delivery.” This is a concert-only song, and it will not be on any future CD releases.

Rachel Merrick of Turnetr, ME asks: How many times did you have to try before you got your driver’s license?

I didn’t get my driver’s license until the third attempt. I’ve gotten a lot better at driving in the last 24 years, though.

Elysse of Orange County, CA asks: On the cover of “Running With Scissors,” are the two blurry runners in the background band members, or are they other runners who were on hand at the shoot? Thanks!

Those were, in fact, two band members. So never let it be said that I don’t feature the band on my album covers!

Crazy Chris of Florence, SC asks: My wife is hearing impaired and none of your music video tapes are closed-captioned. I want her to appreciate the lyrics also. Can you help me out? Thanks.

You might want to check out the new “‘Weird Al’ Yankovic – Live!” DVD – it has a closed-captioning function.

Tom Bagnall of Anaheim (grew up in South Gate, CA) asks: Settle a bet, please… my daughter and I LOVE your CD “Running With Scissors,” but we have a disagreement about the song “Germs.” She insists the words “microscopic bacteria” begins on the first beat of a 4 beat phrase. I know it starts on the second beat of 4. Can you settle this family feud???

It starts on the second beat. There. You’re smarter than your daughter. Feel superior now??

Adam Barager of Dartmouth, Nova Scotia, Canada asks: Hey Al! I just bought your “Running With Scissors” album and I was wondering, did you make the Read-me file for the movie clip yourself? I found it quite funny.

That was a collaboration between myself, Bermuda and a bunch of lawyer folk.

Eskimo Joe of Dalhart, TX asks: I would like to ask you a personal question. Are you flat-footed?

Not completely, but a bit more than average.

Linda Shah of Vienna, VA asks: Dear Al, since you’re a “This is Spinal Tap” fan I was wondering if you also enjoyed Christopher Guest’s & Eugene Levy’s “Waiting for Guffman”? (Did ya catch the Judy Tenuta t-shirt?) Thank you.

Yes, I liked “Guffman” a lot. I talked to Judy about it – she had no idea that Chris Guest was going to wear a T-shirt with her picture on it in the movie. She feels that she deserves an Academy Award for Best Performance by a T-Shirt.

Dot of Boise, Idaho asks: Do you have a waterbed? I hear they are bad for you.

I had a waterbed for a couple years in the ‘80’s, but it sprung a leak one day and I decided to get rid of it.

Joe Weatherford of Lexington, KY asks: How were you able to stay on key when you sang “Since You’ve Been Gone”?

I had Jim record a scratch guitar track first, and I sang all my vocals against it. Then when we were mixing, we just took the guitar out.

Kara Nadeau of Somerset, MA asks: What is the first thing you notice about a person?

Whether or not they’re on fire.

“Ask Al” Q&As for April, 2000

Adela of Chandrapore, Indiana asks: Hi Al! You’re the best 🙂 Anyhoo, I have some friends in CA who camped overnight outside the Shrine to watch the crazy red carpet parade at the 72nd Annual Oscars. They claim that they saw you there, but they couldn’t tell who you were with. Were you really there?

Yes, I got to go to the Oscars for the very first time this year. My friend Spike (from the Spike and Mike Animation Festival – three of his animated shorts were nominated) had a couple extra tickets, and he was nice enough to invite me. You may have seen me – I was the guy in the tuxedo WAY up in the second balcony.

Caroll Flanery of Redding, CA asks: Hi Al! I read in your introduction to “MAD About TV” that you used a piece from MAD magazine in statewide speech tournaments in high school. Since I also competed in speech tournaments in high school, I would like to know what was the highest placement you achieved and how many forensics points did you rack up?

I don’t know about forensics points, but I made it to the State Competition a couple times. One year I made it to the State finals with my Expository speech about all the garbage they put in hot dogs (and this was years before I turned vegetarian!)

David, the Al-Oholic of LaFayette, Georgia asks: Hey, Al! Why aren’t your CD’s available to buy from Columbia House?

Volcano doesn’t like to have their product available through places like that because they get a much lower royalty rate that way. Scotti Brothers had the same policy.

Brenda of Danvers, MA asks: Hey Al, why don’t you use a headset microphone on stage instead of the regular microphones?

I’m afraid people will confuse me with Garth Brooks.

Sherri Miller of Thornville, OH asks: What do you do when women throw undergarments at you while you are performing on stage?

Well, I save them, of course, but I always wash them before wearing them.

Alex Rose of Los Angeles, CA asks: Greetings, Al. In UHF, was U62 a set or is it an actual building somewhere?

The exterior was actually the building at the bottom of a radio transmitter tower somewhere in Tulsa, but the interior shots were done on a soundstage (in an abandoned Tulsa shopping mall).

Bjarke Lorentsen of Aarhus, Denmark asks: I have been listening quite a lot to “This Is The Life” on “Dare To Be Stupid,” and I was wondering what you call this music style? I think the track is absolutely fabulous, especially the spoon-intermission. =)

It’s just supposed to sound like the kind of music that was popular in the late ’20’s and early ’30’s. That’s the time frame of the movie that it was written for (“Johnny Dangerously”). I’ve pointed this out before, but it bears repeating: my song is NOT on the video release of the movie, but it’s under the opening credits if you happen to catch it on TV.

Weird Rob of Annandale, New Jersey asks: In school now I am a straight A student. What were your grades as a kid?

I got perfect straight A’s all through high school.

Sean Coates of Costa Mesa, CA asks: Why are all of your songs shorter? For example, “Smells Like Teen Spirit” is about five minutes long and your version is about 3 1/2 minutes long. Why?

I like to tighten up my parody arrangements as much as possible without making the songs sound unnatural. I try to shorten or eliminate instrumental breaks, cut down the repetitive choruses, and also speed everything up just a hair. The general rule of thumb is, if it’s not funny, get rid of it.

Matt L. of Oregon asks: Hey Al, I saw “I Lost On Jeopardy” and there was a quick scene with Jim where he had a cigarette. Does Jim smoke?

No. But apparently his character in that video did.

Carole of Seattle, WA asks: Hi Al! As a self-described “control freak,” did you have any input regarding the editing of your live concert video?

Since I was on the road for most of the time that the live video was being edited, tapes and mixes had to be Fed-Exed to me at various hotels – and then I sent back my notes for changes. It’s a bit more laborious to work that way, but unfortunately I can’t be in two places at once.

Homely Bubert of Santa Rosa, CA asks: Hey, Al! A while back I heard your Billy Joel parody demo (“It’s Still Billy Joel To Me”) on the Dr. Demento Show, and was just wondering why it never got into one of your LPs. Never got the rights? Decided it was a bit harsh? Just curious.

I wrote that in 1980, but even by 1983 (when my first album came out) it felt a bit dated. Also, we figured that Billy wasn’t very likely to give us his blessing on that one anyway, so we never even bothered asking.

Linda Shah of Vienna, VA asks: Dear Al, in your song “Slime Creatures From Outer Space” there’s the line “They’ll zap you with their death ray eyes and blow you up real good” – Is the “blow you up real good” phrase from the SCTV sketch “Celebrity Farm Film Blow-up” hosted by Big Jim McBob and Billy Sol Hurok (Joe Flaherty and John Candy)? Thank you.

Yes, that was the intended reference. Here’s your gold star.

John Chadwick of Orlando, FL asks I recall back in the eighties when I first bought “Dare to Be Stupid” on vinyl (Vinyl is a thing we used to buy our music on, kids. We called them records.) I noticed that the phrase “Mores Songs About TV and Food” was etched into the inner groove area. Was this a reference to the Talking Heads album with a similar title?

Yes, that was the intended reference. Here’s a nice cookie.

Joshua Michael Stewart of Atlanta, Georgia asks: While watching your “Music Video Library” video, I noticed a scene at the beginning of You Don’t Love Me Anymore where Jon “Bermuda” Schwartz throws his drumsticks down and walks off. But on the DVD version, this scene ends the “Smells Like Nirvana” video. Where does it belong?

That bit is actually the beginning of the “You Don’t Love Me Anymore” video. The folks that mastered the DVD messed up the chapter stops.

Blair Freeman of Carbondale, IL asks: You mentioned in a recent newspaper article that you had to cut some lines out of “The Saga Begins” after it was already recorded because of bad information. What were the lines?

The changes were pretty minor. Like “He’s probably gonna marry her someday” was originally “I hear he’s gonna marry her someday” – because in the movie (according to my Internet rumor source) Anakin was supposed to tell the Queen that he was going to marry her (this was not in the final cut of the film). And I think I slightly changed the very beginning of the last verse for some reason. But overall, I was very, very pleased with how closely those Internet rumors corresponded with the storyline of the finished film.

Ali Sills of Petal, Mississippi asks: Hey Hey Al, I was wondering, why wasn’t Ruben interviewed for your “Behind the Music”??

The producers at VH1 were concerned about the potential sudden ratings drop.

Andrew Brace of Snover, Michigan asks: Who exactly is Eddie Vedder?

(sigh) I promised myself I was never going to answer this question, but believe it or not, hundreds of people have asked. So… Eddie Vedder is the lead singer of a little band called Pearl Jam. You remember, kids… they were really popular way back in the ’90’s…?

Sam (Eagle Boy) of Lowell, MA asks: Did you need permission from Jerry Springer to write the song “Jerry Springer”?

No – Jerry Springer is considered a public figure, so I have just as much right to do a song about him as I do to write a song about President Clinton or, uh… Eddie Vedder…

Fanny of Sebastian, CA asks: Dear Al, I notice you have six weeks off in your touring schedule. What do you do with your time off?

Try to have a life.

Jason Bach of Gresham, OR asks: Hey Al… I was channel surfing a while back and I came across this show. I don’t remember what it was called, but it had you in it. You were this weird green alien-thingy wearing a suit and your head looked like a giant cabbage… in fact, I think that may have been your name….”Cabbage Head” or something… What was that show?

That was an episode of Steven Spielberg’s Amazing Stories. That particular episode was directed by Tobe Hooper and featured Laraine Newman and the late, great Dick Shawn.

Sean of Vicksburg, MS asks: Do you cut your own grass when you’re at home?

There’s no grass in my yard.

Daelin Keller of Ukiah, CA asks: What is that German-sounding song byte in “Hooked on Polkas”???

That was the German version of Nena’s “99 Red Balloons” (both the English and German versions were radio hits in the mid-80’s).

Affy, your close personal friend of Lake Charles, LA asks: Dear Al, I saw your concert in Houston and noticed that you didn’t perform “Like A Surgeon” like you did on the “Weird Al” Yankovic Live! tape. Did you hurt yourself?

Actually, I did hurt my neck that day, and had to see a chiropractor in Houston. I figured I could get through most of the show okay, but I might wind up killing myself if I put my leg around my head (like I do in “Surgeon”). I’m feeling much better now, thanks. By the way, sometimes we have to pull that song from the set if the stage is too small to accommodate a riser (for me to writhe around on), and sometimes we’re forced to do a short show and we just have to cut out a few numbers.

Hillary Tutor of Great Falls, Montana asks: I was wondering why you wear a clown suit in the beginning of the Bedrock song. I don’t understand the correlation.

The harlequin suit that I wear at the beginning of that song is similar to the one that used to be worn on stage by Chili Peppers lead singer Anthony Kiedis.

Chris Charles of Searcy, AR asks: If I gave you my mailing address, would you send me an accordion autographed by you and all of the band members?

No.

Coby Howard of Big Spring, Texas asks: What are the lyrics to “Albuquerque”?

Way back when I was just a little bitty boy living in a box under the stairs in the corner of the basement of the house half a block down the street from Jerry’s Bait Shop… you know the place… well anyway, back then life was going swell and everything was juuuuust peachy… except of course for the undeniable fact that every single morning… my mother would make me a big ol’ bowl of sauerkraut for breakfast… Arggggh! Big bowl of sauerkraut!! Every single morning!! It was driving me crazy! I said to my mom, I said, “Hey! Mom! What’s up with all the sauerkraut??” And my dear sweet mother, she just looked at me like a cow looks at an oncoming train, and she leaned right down next to me, and she said, “Unhhhh… It’s goooood for you!” And then she tied me to the wall and stuck a funnel in my mouth and force-fed me nothing but sauerkraut until I was twenty-six and a half years old. That’s when I swore that someday, someday I would get out of that basement and travel to a magical, far-away place where the sun is always shining and the air smells like warm root beer and the towels are oh-so-fluffy… where the shriners and the lepers play their ukuleles all day long and anyone on the street will gladly shave your back for a nickel. Wocka wocka doo doo yeah. Well, let me tell you, people, it wasn’t long at all before my dream came true, because the very next day a local radio station had this contest to see who could correctly guess the number of molecules in Leonard Nimoy’s butt. I was off by three, but I still won the grand prize… That’s right, a first-class one-way ticket… to Al…buquerque! Al…buquerque! Oh yeah… You know, I’d never been on a real airplane before, and I gotta tell you, it was really great… except that I had to sit between two large Albanian women with excruciatingly severe body odor, and the little kid in back of me kept throwing up the whole time, and the flight attendants ran out of Dr. Pepper and salted peanuts, and the in-flight movie was “Bio-Dome” with Pauly Shore, and three of the airplane engines burned out and we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside and the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died… except for me… you know why? ‘Cause I had my tray table up… and my seat back in the full upright position, had my tray table up… and my seat back in the full upright position… had my tray table up… and my seat back in the full upright position… Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!! So I crawled from the twisted, burning wreckage… I crawled on my hands and knees for three full days… dragging along my big leather suitcase and my garment bag and my tenor saxophone and my twelve-pound bowling ball and my lucky, lucky autographed glow-in-the-dark snorkel. But finally I arrived at the world-famous Albuquerque Holiday Inn where the towels are oh-so-fluffy… and you can eat your soup right out of the ashtrays if you wanna. It’s okay, they’re clean! Well, I checked into my room and I turned down the AC and I turned on the Spectravision and I’m just about to eat that little chocolate mint on my pillow that I love so very, very much when suddenly there’s a knock on the door. Well, now who could that be? I say, “Who is it?” No answer. “Who is it?” There’s no answer. “Who is it??” They’re not sayin’ anything. So finally I go over and I open the door, and just as I suspected… it’s some big fat hermaphrodite with a Flock of Seagulls haircut and only one nostril. Ohhhh, man, I hate it when I’m right. So anyway, he bursts into my room and he grabs my lucky snorkel and I’m like, “Hey! You can’t have that! That snorkel’s been just like a snorkel to me!” And he’s like, “Tough!” And I’m like, “Give it!” And he’s like, “Make me!” And I’m like, “‘kay!” So I grabbed his leg and he grabbed my esophagus and I bit off his ear and he chewed off my eyebrows and I took out his appendix and he gave me a colonic irrigation. Yes indeed, you better believe it. And somehow in the middle of it all the phone got knocked off the hook and twenty seconds later, I heard a familiar voice, and you know what it said? I’ll tell you what it said. It said, “If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator… If you’d like to make a call, please hang up and try again. If you need help, hang up and then dial your operator…” in Al…buquerque! Al…buquerque! Well, to cut a long story short, he got away with my snorkel. But I made a solemn vow right then and there that I would not rest… I would not sleep for an instant… until the one-nostriled man was brought to justice. But first I decided to buy some donuts. So I got in my car and I drove over to the donut shop and I walked on up to the guy behind the counter and he says, “Yeah, whaddaya want?” I said, “You got any glazed donuts?” He said, “No, we’re outta glazed donuts.” I said, “Well, you got any jelly donuts?” He said, “No, we’re outta jelly donuts!” I said, “You got any Bavarian creme-filled donuts?” He said, “No, we’re outta Bavarian creme-filled donuts!” I said, “You got any cinnamon rolls?” He said, “No, we’re outta cinnamon rolls!” I said, “You got any apple fritters?” He said, “No, we’re outta apple fritters!” I said, “You got any bear claws?” He said, “Wait a minute, I’ll go check……………..No!! We’re outta bear claws!!” I said, “Well, in that case… in that case, what do you have?” He says, “All I got right now is this box of one dozen starving, crazed weasels.” I said, “Okay. I’ll take that.” So he hands me the box and I open up the lid and the weasels jump out and they immediately latch onto my face and start biting me all over. Arr arrrr arrrrh. Oh man, they were just going nuts. They were tearing me apart! You know, I think it was just about that time that a little ditty started going through my head. I believe it went a little something like this: “Arrrrrrgh!!! Get ’em off of me!!! Get ’em off me!!! Argggggh!!! Get ’em off!! Get ’em off!! Arrrrrrrrgh… Arggggggghh!!!” I ran out into the street with these flesh-eating weasels all over my face, waving my arms all around and just running, running, running like a constipated wiener dog. And as luck would have it, that’s exactly when I ran into the girl of my dreams. Her name was Zelda. She was a calligraphy enthusiast with a slight overbite and hair the color of strained peaches. I’ll never forget the very first thing she said to me. She said, “Hey. You’ve got weasels on your face.” That’s when I knew it was true love. We were inseparable after that. Aw, we ate together, we bathed together, we even shared the same piece of mint-flavored dental floss. Aw, the world was our burrito. So we got married and we bought us a house and had two beautiful children, Nathaniel and Superfly. Oh, we were so very, very, very happy. Oh yeah. But then one fateful night, Zelda said to me, she said, “Sweetie Pumpkin… do you want to join the Columbia record club?” I said, “Whoa! Hold on now, baby! I’m just not ready for that kind of a commitment!” So we broke up and I never saw her again. But that’s just the way things go… in Al…buquerque! Al…buquerque! Anyway, things really started looking up for me, because about a week later I finally achieved my life-long dream. That’s right, I got me a part-time job at the Sizzler. I even made Employee of the Month after I put out that grease fire with my face. Oh yeah, everybody was pretty jealous of me after that. I was gettin’ a lot of attitude. Okay, like one time, I was out in the parking lot trying to remove my excess ear wax with a golf pencil, when I see this guy Marty trying to carry a big ol’ sofa up the stairs all by himself. So I say to him, I say, “Hey! You want me to help you with that?” And Marty, he just rolls his eyes and goes, “Nooo, I want you to cut off my arms and legs with a chain saw.” So I did. And then he gets all indignant on me! He’s like, “Hey, man, I was just being sarcastic!” Well, that’s just great. How was I supposed to know that? I’m not a mind-reader, for crying out loud. Besides, now he’s got a really cute nickname – Torso Boy – so what’s hecomplaining about? Say, that reminds me of another amusing anecdote. This guy comes up to me on the street and he tells me he hasn’t had a bite in three days. Well, I knew what he meant, but just to be funny I took a big bite out of his jugular vein. And he’s yelling and screaming and bleeding all over, and I’m like, “Hey! Come on! Don’t you get it?” But he just keeps rolling around on the sidewalk, bleeding and screaming, “Ahhhhh!! Ahhhhh!! Ahhhhhh!!!” – y’know, completely missing the irony of the whole situation. Man, some people just can’t take a joke, y’know? Anyway, I uh… Um… where was I?…… I kinda lost my train of thought. Uh… Well, okay, anyway, I know it’s kind of a round-about way of saying it, but I guess the whole point I’m trying to make here is… I… HATE… SAUERKRAUT!! That’s all I’m really trying to say. And by the way, if one day you happen to wake up and find yourself in an existential quandary, full of loathing and self-doubt and wracked with the pain and isolation of your pitiful, meaningless existence, at least you can take a small bit of comfort in knowing that somewhere out there in this crazy ol’ mixed-up universe of ours, there’s still a little place… called Al…buquerque! Al…buquerque! Albuquerque! Albuquerque! Albuquerque! Albuquerque! I said, A! (A!) L! (L!) B! (B!) U! (U!) …querque!! (Querque!!) Albuquerque! (Querque!!) Albuquerque!(Querque!!) Albuquerque! (Querque!!) Albuquerque! (Querque!!) Albuquerque! (Querque!!) Albuquerque! (Querque!!) Albuquerque! (Querque!!) Albuquerque! (Albuquerque!) Al…… buquerque!

“Ask Al” Q&As for March, 2000

Linda Shah of Vienna, VA asks: Dear Al, from which institution’s film archives do you obtain the educational films that are used in your concerts & TV shows? Do you personally select each one to assure maximum wackiness? Thank you.

We’ve been using a New York-based stock footage house called Streamline, and they’ve got tons of great stuff. I personally screened a mind-numbing amount of footage in order to select just the right bits to use in my educational films. By the way, we’re planning to include the two newest educational films (seen on AL-TV 2K) as a little bonus on the upcoming “‘Weird Al’ Yankovic – Live!” DVD.

Snails of Rochester, NY asks: Who cooks for you guys when you are on tour?

We don’t travel with a chef – each venue that we play at provides us with a catered meal before the show.

David Ramussen of Kenyon, MN asks: In the movie “Naked Gun 2 1/2,” where were you in the movie?

I’m a little hard to recognize – I’m the crackhead holding O.J. Simpson at gunpoint and saying “Okay, pigs, say your prayers…” right before Leslie Nielsen walks in the room, slamming me in the face with the door.

Keith Kliebert of New Orleans, LA asks: Al, I hear that you really enjoy visiting New Orleans, especially during Mardi Gras. Why don’t you ever perform down here?

Good question. I believe New Orleans is the largest U.S. city we’ve never played. Unfortunately, as I’ve said before, I have virtually no control over where we do shows – it’s mostly based on interest from concert promoters and the availability of suitable venues.

Renee Weber of Lancaster, Calif. asks: Hi Al! I owe you an apology! How much of an annoyance is it to have audience members use flash photography during your concerts? I’d like to apologize for my flash going off a couple times while taking pictures of you at the Oxnard, CA concert. So sorry!

I can’t speak for the rest of the band, but flash photography doesn’t particularly bother me on stage. However, most theatres seem to have a strict policy against it.

Bob of Simi Valley, Calif. asks: My girlfriend lived in the Sequoia dorm at Cal Poly in 1977. What dorm did you live in?

I lived in Sierra Madre, tower 4, third floor.

Kara Nadeau of Somerset, MA asks: What exactly is a “coffee achiever”?

You’re referring to a line in “Dare To Be Stupid” where I say, “You can be a coffee achiever, you can sit around the house and watch ‘Leave It To Beaver.’” “Coffee achiever” was a reference to a commercial campaign from the mid-80’s designed to get people to drink more coffee. The commercials showed active, happy people drinking coffee while E.L.O. sang “Hold on tight to your dreams…” I believe the tagline was something oxymoronic like, “Coffee… it perks you up… and calms you down.” BTW, the “coffee achiever” in the DTBS video is played by my manager Jay Levey.

“Insane Emily” Menden of Manitowoc, WI asks: How in the world did you end up on the Movie Lounge?!?!

The host of the show, Kent Osborne, is the brother of the Academy-Award-nominated Mark Osborne, who co-directed my “Jurassic Park” video. They’re both currently working on their own low-budget independent film in which I made a small cameo.

Josh Boileau of Manitoba, Canada asks: In the song “I Want a New Duck,” is that the music for “Ghostbusters”? It sounds close to the same.

It’s actually a parody of “I Want A New Drug” by Huey Lewis and the News – but apparently Huey felt the same way you did. He sued Ray Parker Jr. (the writer of the “Ghostbusters” theme song) for copyright infringement.

Karla of Lindon, Utah asks: Why are you pictured in “MAD About TV” sitting in a coffin? Is there a story behind it?

That confused me a lot too when I first saw it. I figured it out when I saw the next issue of MAD magazine – the same illustration was used for a gag in which I had supposedly written a song called “Pretty Fly For A Dead Guy.” So I guess they were just recycling their art.

Lindsey of Saugerties, NY asks: What is the highest you’ve ever been on the Billboard charts, and for how long?

“Eat It” made it to #12 on the singles chart, and “Bad Hair Day” made it to #14 on the albums chart, both for one week.

Rachel Merrick of Turner, ME asks: When were your parents married?

August 14, 1949.

Dayna Sorrells of AL-buquerque, NM asks: In the video “Eat It,” a picture falls off the wall. Who or what was on that picture?

That was Dr. Demento, making one of his famous cameo appearances. (If memory serves, I believe the good Doctor was getting married the day we were shooting that scene!)

Jerry of Haymarket, VA asks: Al, my accordion teacher says that a 96-bass accordion is enough – what would you recommend?

Sure, a 96-bass accordion is enough… if you’re a WIMP! Real men only play 120-bass accordions!

Shannon-Queen of Saturn-Roae of Meadville, PA asks: Hey Al, how you doin’? I was just wondering, did you go to your senior prom?

No, I didn’t go to my senior prom, or my junior prom, or any high school dance, for that matter.

Jesamy Porter of Missouri asks: Did you get to pick your co-stars in your movie “UHF” or did someone else?

Jay Levey (my manager and the director of “UHF”) and I made all the final casting decisions together.

Caitie of Arvada, CO asks: In the “UHF” video when you are pretending to be Billy Idol, you say “UHF” and it looks like you’re blowing smoke out of your mouth. Did you really inhale smoke when you were shooting the video?

Although I’d never smoked in my life, I had to take a puff on a clove cigarette to achieve that effect.

David Guzman of Brooklyn, NY asks: In the questions for January 2000 on this site, someone asked about the glasses holding up your mask when doing “Fat” on the “‘Weird Al’ Yankovic-Live!” video, but why did you have glasses on when doing “Amish Paradise”?

I just thought it helped sell the “Amish look.”

Doug “Mr. Dougie” Kiel of Burlington, Wisconsin asks: Did you ever meet Donny and/or Marie prior to being on the show?

I’d met Donny once or twice previously – in fact, I believe there’s a picture of me in the “Permanent Record” booklet where Donny’s holding me up by my lapels.

Matt Chelko of State College, PA asks: First off, I’d like to say that you did an excellent concert here in State College, but I was wondering, on the “‘Weird Al’ Yankovic – Live!” video, why wasn’t the entire medley included?

The “concert only” songs in the medley were never cleared, and therefore could not be included in a product that was for sale to the public. The “between songs” films could not be included for a similar reason.

Scott Snyder of Fond Du Lac, Wisconsin asks: Was Harvey the Wonder Hamster a small guinea pig on one of your MTV specials years ago or was I just drunk?

Harvey was, in fact, feeling a little under the weather that day, so his pal Bob the guinea pig was nice enough to fill in for him at the last minute.

John “I wish my name were cooler” Colvin of Oregon, OH asks: Hey Al! I was just watching “UHF” and I was wondering how you did that stunt with Emo cutting off his thumb. So let us in on the secret.

It’s actually a very simple movie trick. Emo was heavily anesthetized when he cut his thumb off with a power saw, so he really didn’t feel a thing. And then as soon as the director yelled cut, the team of highly skilled micro-surgeons that we had standing by quickly attached it back on. Luckily, we only needed to do a couple takes.

Asher Doak of Marietta, OH asks: Hey Al, I was just wondering: You know how Jim usually sings harmony with you during the chorus part of your songs? Do any of the other guys ever harmonize with you? If so, how many?

Actually, on the albums I sing virtually all the harmonies myself. Of course, in concert that’s a little difficult to do, so as a rule Jim will sing the high harmony parts, Steve will sing the low harmony parts, and Bermuda and Ruben will sing only when absolutely necessary.

Robert Lares of Los Angeles, CA asks: Your liner notes say that Kim Bullard plays [keyboards] on “Headline News,” but in the video it’s Ruben in a wig. Why not Kim?

Well, Kim is a terrific keyboard player, sure, but let’s face it – Ruben just looks a lot better in a blonde wig.

Jimmy Imoehl of Eagle, Wisconsin asks: In the song “Mr. Frump In The Iron Lung,” were you using the air valve on your accordion to make the sound of Mr. Frump breathing?

You are correct, sir!

Al Nennig of New London, Wisconsin asks: I just bought your second album “‘Weird Al’ Yankovic In 3-D” and because it was reissued it doesn’t have any liner notes inside. So I’m confused on “King of Suede” as to whether the background singers are saying “Is my size on sale” or “Is my size avail(able).” I know, I know, I should have bought the album the day it came out but I kinda wasn’t born yet. Sorry. Thanks a lot.

That’s me and (producer) Rick Derringer singing, “Is my size up there…?”

Ludwig Von Ruiner of Ruination asks: If and when you have children, will they also be weird? For instance, would you name your son Weird Walter or your daughter Weird Wendy?

No, that would be kind of cruel, don’t you think? I mean, who in their right mind would name their kid Walter?

“Ask Al” Q&As for February, 2000

Karla of Lindon, Utah asks: Were you surprised about the “Achy Breaky” question on “Donny and Marie” and were they *really* good sports about it?

I had actually mentioned that song to the show’s producer during the pre-interview, and I knew they were going to ask me about it. I think they were mostly pretending to be upset – they’re professionals, and they realize that what I do is all in good fun. By the way, they had asked me to perform a song on the show, but only if I could cut it down to under three minutes. Being the uncompromising artiste that I am, I declined, since I didn’t want to hack any verses out of “Saga” or “Pentiums.” (I also recently turned down a chance to be on Regis & Kathie Lee for the exact same reason – only their stipulation was that the song had to be under TWO minutes!!)

teri2k of AL!buquerque,NM asks: Hi, Al, you’re terrific! I’ve heard a description of your room on the tour bus, and how you have the air vents taped over to keep out cigarette smoke. Do you have some other air intake, or way to keep fresh air in your room? Doesn’t it get stuffy?

The vents aren’t taped over to keep out cigarette smoke (smoking is strictly prohibited on the band bus) – they’re taped over to keep out the AC. I have to stay out of air conditioning and smoky rooms if I want to avoid losing my voice on the road. If my room ever gets stuffy, I can always open a window and let in some fresh air.

Annapolis Amy of Maryland asks: How many people ride on your tour bus?

There used to be a dozen or so people all on one bus – but since the tour started last year, we’ve been leasing two busses, so now the band rides on one bus and the crew rides on the other. Ironically, the crew bus has become the “party” bus, while us guys on the band bus mostly sit around working on our laptops.

Caroll Flanery of Redding, CA asks: How do you finance your music videos? Does the money come out of your own pocket, do you have a separate production company set up just for music videos, or is there some other way?

The record company pays for all expenses up front, but half of it is reimbursable through my royalties, so in essence, I pay for half the cost of my videos. There is a production company that deals with each video, and they are paid a separate fee (which is part of the video budget). I even get to pay myself to direct, although half of my paycheck is in essence coming from my back pocket.

Dr. D.R. of Solon OH asks: How do you feel about your appearance in the recent issue of MAD?

I’m thrilled whenever I get a mention in MAD. If you want to know more about my life-long love affair with MAD Magazine, you might want to check out the recently released softcover book “MAD ABOUT TV.” I wrote the foreword for it.

Kate Jones of Acton, MA asks: Al, none of my family members like your song The Night Santa Went Crazy just because it’s gross (No offense). Unfortunately, that’s one of my favorite songs. What should I do?

Well, obviously, you were adopted. Perhaps they haven’t broken the news to you yet. I’d just bring the subject up sometime over dinner, whenever there’s a lull in the conversation.

Tuck Davion of San Diego, CA asks: Hi Al! I just wanted to know, what is the difference between the Capitol Records version of “My Bologna” and the album release version?

The Capitol Records version is the original bathroom recording – the ONLY instrument is the accordion. The album release version was done in the studio and features the whole band. On the “Permanent Record” box set, the initial pressing went out with the incorrect version of “My Bologna,” which caused a great disturbance in the Force.

Tabitha Lynch of Fort Worth, TX asks: Do you collect things from each city you travel on, like shot glasses?

Lately I’ve started collecting souvenir squished pennies, and those pens that have things floating in them.

Mitch Rabb of Pevely, MO asks: I noticed during The Saga Begins music video that Rubén’s face is always partially covered with the hood of his robe. Why is this?

We didn’t want to frighten small children.

Marianne Rose of Erie, PA asks: Okay Al, I just gotta know! In the video for “Smells Like Nirvana,” did you actually make that over the shoulder basketball shot, or was it some amazing editing or special effects??

I threw the basketball up into a net which was just out of frame, and a crew guy hanging from the rafters dropped another basketball straight down into the hoop. Not that I COULDN’T have made the shot, mind you…

Doug Kiel “Mr. Dougie” of Burlington, Wisconsin asks: What was it like being on the Mancow show? Are you a fan of the show? The show is syndicated across about half the country and a lot of people heard you. Curious minds want to know 🙂

My record company was concerned about my being on the show because apparently he has a history of ripping people apart on the air – but Mancow was great to me. I’ve known him for years, and he’s actually a big fan… In fact, he credited me as being one of the reasons he decided to get into radio in the first place!

Kim of Houston, TX asks: In your song “I Want a New Duck” you say: “And show me how to get down. ‘How to get down,’ baby. Get it?” What exactly is the joke there? I just don’t get it. I feel very stupid that I don’t but maybe you can enlighten me!

Hmmm. You ever hear that old joke… “How do you get down off an elephant?” “You don’t get down off an elephant, you get down off a DUCK.” HA HA HA HA HA HA HA. See, duck feathers are called “down.” HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!

John Hall of Derry, NH asks: On Running With Scissors is “Your Horoscope For Today” a style parody of the Mighty Mighty Bosstones? Thanx, love your show!

There’s definitely a lot of Mighty Mighty Bosstones influence in that song, but I was also listening to a lot of Reel Big Fish and other contemporary ska bands while I was writing it, so I just like to think of Horoscope” as a generic 90’s third-wave ska tune.

Janet of Mesa, AZ asks: How can one talk to you on a more personal basis?

Oh, I don’t know, I suppose one could call me up on the phone or drop by my house for a little chat…

Gray of Staunton, Virginia asks: In the song “Moonlight Star” on “In 3-D,” what are the people saying when you start singing “I Wanna Know?” It sounds like “READ A CHICKEN.” Please HELP!!!!!!

Um, first of all it’s MIDNIGHT Star… and I believe the part you’re referring to is the part that goes: “You can read it, you can read it, you can read it, you can read it in the Midnight Star.” Although “read a chicken” is pretty good, too.

Gavin of Sydney, Australia asks: Did you use a real dental drill in “Cavity Search”? It sounded so much like the real thing that I was actually wincing!

I didn’t want to just take a dental drill sound off a sound effects record. I wanted to make the Ultimate Dentist Song, so I decided to do it as authentically as possible. I got my real dentist (Dr. Schuster) to come into the recording studio. He brought his actual dental drill with him as well as a real human tooth – and then he proceeded to wail away on it while the tape rolled. I even took a turn with the drill and the tooth myself. It was pretty sick.

Dan Butera of Under Weird Al’s tour bus asks: In “Cavity Search,” what kind of music is playing at the end accompanied by a high-pitched dental drill?

That’s supposed to sound like Muzak – the kind of music that’s generally played in dentists’ waiting rooms.

Chrissy Maher of Turner, ME asks: What were your SAT scores?

I don’t remember exactly – I’m pretty sure I scored in the 600’s for English and in the 700’s for Math.

Polka Man of who knows where asks: Hey, Al! I was just wondering who wrote “The Weird Al Show”? I didn’t see many episodes, but it seemed distinctly like you had graced the scripts. Did you get to write a lot of it, or were there other people who wrote it?

I was the head writer, but I also had a rotating staff of writers that I worked with, including Susan Amerikaner, Tracy Berna, Zeke Kamm, Steve Lookner, Mark O’Keefe and Ron Weiner.

glassesmiley of Lafayette, IN asks Dear Al, when did you get your first PC?

I think it was early 1992.

Christine Coulter of Carbondale, KS asks: Have you ever met the Backstreet Boys?

I met them when I was doing VH1’s “Fairway to Heaven” – I got to give them “golf tips.” We’re actually kind of on the same label – Volcano is distributed through Jive (the Backstreet Boys’ label).

Melissa of Northampton, MA asks: In “Pretty Fly For A Rabbi,” you give credit to two different women for singing in the song, but I can only hear one woman singing in it. I believe that’s Tress MacNeille. So when does Mary Kay Bergman sing in it?

Originally I had Mary Kay come in to sing the whole song. I basically wanted her to do the voice of Kyle’s mom from South Park. Her agent wouldn’t let her do it (thinking that it might get her in trouble with Comedy Central) – so Mary Kay wound up doing kind of a squeaky voice instead. Later, I decided that the “squeaky voice” thing really wasn’t what I was looking for, so I called in my old friend Tress to do her Fran Drescher impersonation instead. The part that you can still hear Mary Kay on is the line in the middle of the song where she does the very Gentile-sounding ”for a Rab-bi…” Mary Kay was an incredibly sweet, talented, funny, wonderful woman, and we all miss her very, very much.

Peter Mullins of Sydney, Australia asks: I know you’ve heard this question before (or a dozen similiar ones) but things have changed and I was wondering if there are any plans of you guys doing a tour however insignificant in Australia???

I’m very sorry to say this, but the much-anticipated Australian tour fell through. We’d been negotiating with an Australian promoter for a very long time, and in the end we just couldn’t make it happen. We’re extremely thankful for all the support we’ve gotten in Australia (and especially for the fans who have given us our first gold record outside of North America!) and we apologize for not being able to make the trip this time. We’d all LOVE to play there, so hopefully someday…

Lord Spank of Omaha, NE asks: Hi, Al. Today I heard Madonna’s cover of “American Pie.” How come she’s ripping your stuff off now?

I imagine she finally got tired of me making fun of her all these years. Oh well, I guess turnaround’s fair play. (I still think my version’s funnier, though.)

David Jeffreys of Royal Oak, Michigan asks: Were the people in your Disney special your real parents?

That’s what they tell me.

MaraJayde of Michigan asks: During “Like A Surgeon” while Rubén is doing his cone-bra thing, who’s playing the keyboard? In the live concert video there are close-ups of someone’s hands and I was just wondering whose they are.

That’s Jim playing the keyboard (he also plays keyboards in “Amish Paradise”). When we first started doing the “Truth or Dare” version of “Surgeon,” Jim wore the cone bra and Rubén played keyboards – but Jim felt uncomfortable doing it, and obviously it was a role that Rubén was BORN to play – so they just switched parts.

Lucy “Nifty Little Doodah” Horton of New Canaan, CT asks: Hey Al!!! I LOVE you!! Anyways, I was just wondering, was there a specific reason why you chose to write the song “My Baby’s in Love With Eddie Vedder” about Eddie Vedder?

Well, with a title like that, it would have been pretty stupid if I wrote the song about somebody else, wouldn’t it?

“Ask Al” Q&As for January, 2000

Harold Waide of Dansville, NY asks: Hey Al… Since the world didn’t come crashing down, I’m sure fans are interested in knowing what you did for New Year’s Eve… Did you hide in a bomb shelter? Hide in your house and watch all the fun on TV? WHAT???

I went to a couple parties and had a great time.

Jack Ayer of Newnan Georgia asks: Al, in your December ’99 questions someone named Fred Durst from L.A. California submitted a question. Was this THE Fred Durst, lead singer of Limp Bizkit?

I can’t say for sure, but I highly doubt it. Actually, I DID meet Fred at one of the New Years Eve parties I went to. He was really nice, and said he was a fan. In fact, he started telling me what parodies I should do for “Nookie”! (I refrained from telling him that I write my own material, thank you!)

Patrick Baker of Ann Arbor/MI asks: On “The Saga Begins” video, the desert looks slightly choppy on the beginning. Is it computer generated or filmed on location at some desert?

That scene was really shot in the desert. The reason the beginning looks a little “choppy” is because I chose to speed up that first shot when we were doing the final editing on the video – and when the speed change is implemented in the editing stage (as opposed to while you’re actually shooting), the footage sometimes doesn’t wind up looking quite as smooth. I still thought it was preferable to having a pan of the desert that was just way too slow.

Alicia Slater of Ionia MI asks: On “I Lost On Jeopardy,” how did your head spin?

I believe it was clockwise.

Daniel of Brisbane/Queensland asks: How come there is only a Special Edition film clip of “Pretty Fly For A Rabbi” In Australia?? It seems like because it’s not released in America that you can’t be bothered making one??

Let me explain for the non-Australians: My Australian record company decided to release “Rabbi” as a single there, even though it was not a single in North America, and they insisted on releasing a video to go along with it. I didn’t have the time (or the inclination to spend a big pile of money) to do a video for the song, but I told them that if they absolutely had to have a video for it, they could make one themselves by cutting together bits from “W.A.Y. Live!” Which is what they did.

Adam Shuler of Casa Grande, AZ asks: In the catalogue section of the site, where it lists your albums and such, I saw The TV Album. I just bought one of those the other day, but mine is called The MuchMusic TV Album. I know these are the same songs, but what is the difference between the 2?

Just the title. I’m not sure how you got a copy of the MuchMusic version in Arizona – it was meant for Canadian release only. We let MuchMusic put their name on the album as part of a promotional deal we had with them at the time.

Jessie Niessink of Redding, California asks: On your AL-TV 2K thingy, when you were doing the Al News, you were showing a bunch of movies that never made it. You showed a clip of the one where that guy can tap into some one else’s body and stuff. Who acted out the guy that was reading the magazine and clipping his toenails?

In the clip for “Being Corey Feldman,” that was me playing Corey. The show’s producer, Craig Armstrong, was hovering over me holding a digital camcorder (that’s also him doing the voice-over).

Sean “It’s Not Art” Peterson of Castro Valley, CA asks: What type of changes can we expect in the change from Touring With Scissors ’99 and Touring with Scissors 2K?

Chances are, we’re going to change a couple of the video clips – maybe add a bit or two from the latest AL-TV. We may even possibly throw in a different original song instead of “Eddie Vedder” every now and then – we’re still talking about that. And there will most likely be a few other subtle little changes here and there, but for the most part, it will be the same show.

Dylan Roche of Severna Park, Maryland asks: In your song, “Phony Calls”, is the ‘my crotch’ phone call a real clip from the Simpsons?

Yes, that was taken directly from an episode of the Simpsons – I think it was called “Blood Feud.” It was a pretty sweet deal for the Simpsons’ voice actors – they each got a nice pile of money, and they didn’t even have to come to the studio!

Luke Owen of Woking, Surrey, England asks: Hi there, Al. I was recently listening to “Running With Scissors,” and was wondering… the woman who says “It’s all about the Pentiums, baby” at the beginning of that song…… well, no woman is listed in the credits as saying it… so is it……. nah, it couldn’t possible be. Could it?

No, it’s not Celine Dion. Actually, the woman who did that part asked that she not be given a credit, because she was being paid “under the table.” Shhh.

Maroon Moron of Boise Idaho asks: How did you come about to direct [a video for] for The Jon Spencer Blues Explosion? Are you a big fan like myself, or did you come to know the band in some other way?

I was being interviewed for Grand Royal magazine by Mike D from the Beastie Boys and Russell Simins from the Blues Explosion. We started talking about how I wanted to branch out into directing videos for other artists, and then Russell mentioned that Jon Spencer was looking for a director for their next video… and things just kind of progressed from there. I had been familiar with some of their music, but after working with them and seeing them play live, I became a real fan.

Keith Steelman of Harriman/Tennessee asks: Al, My Question if you think Andy Kaufman is a comical genius or do U hate him????????

Are those my only two choices? Gee, then I guess I’ll have to pick the “genius” one. I’ve always liked Andy. I even met him once very briefly in 1982 – he came backstage after one of Dr. Demento’s all-star Evenings of Dementia.

Veronica of Los Angeles, CA asks: Hey Al, I noticed that in Weird Al Live the song “Jerry Springer” goes slower than it does in the record and it starts with music instead of you saying, “It’s been….”. Why?

We play it just a hair slower live because, well, it’s a tough song to sing that fast! And the musical intro is there mainly to help me sing the beginning of the song in the right key and at the right tempo.

Samantha of Leesburg, VA asks: What did Jerry Springer think about your song of his show?

From all reports, he wasn’t that thrilled. At one point we were considering doing a video for that song, and we inquired if Jerry would be in it. We sent him a rough mix of the song while we were still in the studio finishing up the album. Before he had heard the song, he seemed excited about the prospect of being in a Weird Al video, but after hearing the lyrics, he balked, saying that the song was just too “negative” towards the show, and that he didn’t want to associate himself with it. Oh well.

Julie Shilling of Verona, NJ asks: Hey, Al! I was just wondering… I know that you get permission to do a parody of someone’s song, but what if you want to do a parody of a song by someone who died, let’s just say Elvis Presley, and you can’t get permission because he’s not alive, then what do you do? Do you just ask someone else? Skip the song? Just wondering.

If an artist is no longer living, I get permission from that artist’s estate (which usually means the closest living relative).

Andy “Who Took My Boxer Shorts” Sikora of Taos NM asks: How come you didn’t use as many sight gags in “The Saga Begins” video as in others?

It was a matter of practicality and budget. I had to come up with a video concept that could be done as cheaply as possible because A) the song was over 5 ½ minutes long, B) I knew that whatever costumes and effects we used would eat up a big chunk of the budget to begin with, and C) I figured no matter what I did, MTV wouldn’t play the video very much anyway, for the same reason they didn’t really play “Jurassic Park” (not “contemporary” enough for them). So I came up with the idea of Star Wars Unplugged – and even though it’s not gag-a-second comedy, I thought it was an appropriate and effective treatment for the song.

Katie Winters of Harlingen, TX asks: Al, what year did you become a vegetarian?

1992.

Greg “Kill The Grand Poohbah!” Sepelak of Cary, NC asks: So I’m watching the VH1 “Behind the Music” episode about you, and they discuss UHF. They really made it sound like after that you were ready to dive headlong into a stump grinder. So exactly how big of an exaggeration is this? I know that box-office-wise it was limping, but I also know that show loves dirt…

Hey, I was disappointed, sure, but I didn’t go into some huge spiraling depression. BTM loves to play up the drama, and since there’s so little in my life… well, they had to find SOME place to play that sappy violin music, didn’t they?

Kate of somewhere in OR asks: What was your worst subject in middle s