1.

Rainbow Dash reluctantly helped Pinkie Pie put together a portal as an attempt to resurrect her dead parents. "C'mon Rainbow Dash! My gypsy portal is almost complete!" Rainbow Dash was disgusted with the smile she could hardly see due to her astigmatism on Pinkie's face. "Will you hand me the Margarine?" Rainbow tossed her the low quality sub for butter. "This is so unrainbow." Pinkie looked at her and tried to force her optimism upon the rainbow maned pony. "Look on the bright side Rainbow Dash! Now that you're helping me I won't destroy Ponyville!" Rainbow Dash sighed and agreed with her. "Done!" Pinkie stepped back to admire her creation. "Success! Now we must sing the portal song." Pinkie grabbed Rainbow Dash by the hooves and swung around while starting the first verse of song. "I'll cook up a solution with the knowledge I've accrued, they say a kitchen time saves nine but I'm just saving two." "Rainbow Dash you sing!" Being afraid to disobey the gypsy, Rainbow Dash jumped into the second half of the verse. "I'll gather the ingredients to make some time sorbet, there's hardly room for seconds when the seconds melt away!" Pinkie joined in. "Watch as I work my gypsy magic, eye of a newt and cinnamon!" Rainbow Dash stopped singing, as she knew if she sang this part with Pinkie something awful could happen. "Watch as the matter turns to batter open the portal jump in!" Pinkie suddenly vanished. Rainbow Dash was astonished. "Pinkie?" She called out. Rainbow Dash had never experienced something like this before, so she was frightened. Suddenly, a large of molecular distortion occurred above her. Rainbow Dash stepped back in fear. The portal began making strange noises. "PINKIE!" Rainbow Dash was filled with fear. She was about to leave Sugarcube Corner when the portal suddenly stopped. She again was shocked. "What? A portal doesn't randomly stop." Rainbow Dash was confused at the sudden cease of the portal. Before she could leave, the portal burst back open. Pinkie came flying out back into her dimension. She let out a scream as she hit the wall, which had shelves filled with multiple pans and baking accessories. The portal seemed to be releasing things into their dimension. Before they thought it was over, the portal began sucking things in. Rainbow Dash was holding onto nothing. "PINKIE!" She screamed. Pinkie couldn't move due to the fact she had shattered her spine. All she could manage was a weak "help." The portal got stronger and stronger. The portal finally succeeded in sucking in Rainbow Dash. She creamed as she was forced into the portal. the entrance closed behind her. She began hurdling towards the end of the portal. She noticed that a green orb began appearing as she was closer to the exit. She began to question what it was. Finally as she got close enough she noticed it was the head of some hideous creature. She screamed in terror as the head got increasingly larger and she reached the end of the portal. There was a bright flash of light and Rainbow blacked out. ~~~~~~ Rainbow woke up staring at the sky. "W'Where am I?" She slowly sat up and noticed that she broke a wing. She winced in pain as she tried to move it. It was raining and the temperature was almost freezing. Rainbow got up and staggered around to find shelter. "Stupid Pinkie and her low quality ingredients." After a few more minutes of looking and self pity, she noticed a light in the distance. She began to head for it. "There better be a way to get home." The more awake she became the more her wing pained her. "This is so unblarf." Rainbow Dash tried to get as close as she could to the light. But at the same time the pain in her fractured wing become stronger and stronger. She was only 30 feet away from the light when she gave out. "I don't.. feel so good." The smell of the dirty swamp became more prominent. Rainbow Dash staggered backwards and fell into a mud-hole. She once again blacked out. The last thing she could remember was the creature in the portal approaching her.

2

Rainbow Dash woke up in a cozy room. She looked around and noticed she the random trash all over the place. She jumped at the sound of three little ogres running around the room. Shrek entered the room. "Why hello there. My name is-" Shrek was cut off with Rainbow Dash's scream. Rainbow jumped up, remembering her fractured wing, and kicked Shrek. Well at least she thought she did. Shrek ducked and left Fiona vulnerable. Fiona absorbed the shock from the kick and fell back. A crack was heard as Rainbow had broken her nose. Fiona fell through the window behind her She fell out of the window and slammed into the ground. "Perhaps we shouldn't have redesigned our house to include a second story." Rainbow Dash felt strangely attracted to his accent. It reminded her of The War. Fiona got up and walked back into the road. "YOU PONY I'M GOING TO KILL Y-" Fiona's words were cut off as the tour carriage plowed into her. She screamed and fell on the ground. The carriage wheeled rolled over her torso and fractured her spine. She screamed again but in an attempt to turn the carriage crushed her skull. Fragments of her skull flew across the street. Shrek screamed and ran outside to grieve over his wife's dead body. He fell to his knees right by her body. The blood from her destroyed head began to spill onto Shrek's cloth shirt. Rainbow Dash came down stairs and watched from the doorway. Shrek looked over at her. "YOU.. YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE WITH ME FOREVER FOR KILLING MY WIFE." Shrek ran towards her. Rainbow Dash screamed and ran back upstairs. When she peaked to see what Shrek was doing, he was dialing the phone. "Hello. Queen, King. Um yeah. Fiona isn't doing so well so can you watch the kids?" Shrek sounded nervous. Rainbow Dash listened as Shrek fashioned a weave of lies. Shrek bid them farewell and grabbed Rainbow Dash. OK, make a fake head for Fiona so we can pretend shes alive when we send off the children. Rainbow Dash went into the kitchen. "Now where can I find a green circular object?" Rainbow continued to dig through cabinets when she noticed a large cupboard. She stepped up to it and opened it. A plethora of watermelon trampled rainbow dash. As her head popped out of the pile, she noticed all the watermelons around her. Shrek came in to see what happened. He chuckled and said, "Haha. I see you discovered my watermelon fetish." Despite from being scared, Rainbow realized she could use a watermelon as a fake head. Rainbow went to work.~~~~~~~~~ The queen and king arrived to pick up the babies. Rainbow Dash stood behind Fiona's corpse and moved her like a puppet. "Fiona, are you alright?" The Queen asked. "I'm Fine." Said rainbow in a fake voice. "I just have a bad headache." "Well.. alright." Said the queen. They took the children and were off. "DONKEY." A hideous animal appeared from the bushes. Get your wife and burn down the kingdom. I don't care about my family anymore." The animal took Shrek's orders and took off. "Get inside." Shrek told Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash went upstairs and sat down on the bed. "So, what do you need me for?" Shrek approached Rainbow Dash, and looked her in the eyes. "You're going to find out."

3

Shrek stepped behind Rainbow Dash. He wrapped his big, ogre arms around Rainbow Dash. "Rainbow. When I found you outside of our house, I wanted to love you all night long." Shrek lightly licked Rainbow Dash's ear. The action sent shivers down Rainbow's spine. "Oh.. Shrek." Rainbow Dash began to realize how much she actually wanted Shrek in her. She laid down and he laid on top of her. Shrek ripped off his clothes, revealing his obese green body. He erection sprung out. It was an astounding 12 inches. Rainbow Dash marveled at the size of it. "Shrek. I want it.. in..." "Say it Rainbow. Say it." Rainbow Dash caught her breath. "In me." Suddenly Video Games by Lana Del Rey began playing in the background. Shrek began to enter inside of Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash moaned. She hadn't had a creature of that size in her since flight school. Shrek began a steady pace and soon began to grunt. Rainbow moaned in the background as well. Shrek's shaft seemed to be getting wider and longer. Rainbow could really her labia stretching. Her clitoris began pumping as if it had a heart beat. Shrek's sweat glistened in the light of Rainbow's eyes. Shrek was thrusting faster and harder, his shaft growing even larger. Rainbow was feeling extremely pleasured, but suddenly her labia ribbed straight to her anus. But at this point, Rainbow didn't care. She felt more pleasure if anything. Shrek was growing tired of missionary. He laid and had Rainbow Dash ride him. The steady pace made Shrek happy. Fiona would have never done this with him. Shrek lifted Rainbow off him and begun anal missionary. At this point, Shrek was about to reach his limit. He thrust harder and harder, causing Rainbow to scream his name. Shrek slapped Rainbow on the butt and said "HELL YEAH." When Shrek reached his limit, he shouted, "YOU BETTER SHREK YOURSELF BEFORE YOU WRECK YOURSELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLF" Shrek ejaculated with such force that it left through Rainbow Dash's mouth. The semen splatted onto the walls. They both laid on the together, Rainbow in Shrek's arms, it was a very blarf night.

4

Rainbow Dash woke up and found that she had fallen asleep in her lover's arms. She also noticed the large amount of snot on her mane due to Shrek's powerful snoring. She also noticed the caked blood and bits of skin where Shrek had made her two holes one. After a hearty breakfast, Rainbow headed for the shower where she would clean herself with mud. After a hearty brunch, Shrek came into the shower unexpectedly. "Hello darling." He said in his Scottish accent. Shrek tried to make advances on RD, but she refused. "Not now. I just ate." "Well, I haven't. Let's go to Donut Taco Palace." "What's that?" "You've never been to Donut Taco Palace?" Shrek asked. "I used to take my family there on Sundays. They sell donuts,tacos, and tanuts. Tanuts are a combination of both." Rainbow Dash felt intrigued. "Fine, but I want to try tanuts." Alright." Shrek got ready while Rainbow dried off. The aroma of caked mud tempted Shrek even more. They hopped in the carriage and were off.~~~~~~~~ They finally arrived to their destination. The smell of Taco Meat and Donut Glaze inflamed their nostrils. "This place is my favorite." They opened the door and sat down. Due to the e coli outbreak, the restaurant was completely self service. Shrek went in the back and began cooking the tanuts. Rainbow Dash was excited. Never in her life had she heard of such a combination. A few minutes later, Shrek popped out of the kitchen with several tanuts. "Here you go sweetie." Rainbow Dash questioned the food at first, but then reached for a tanuts. "Well eat it you chicken." said Shrek. "I'm not a chicken!" Rainbow Dash swallowed the tanut whole. "See?" Rainbow had not realized what she did. She soon began to suffer from nausea and a strange need to see Abba. The unholy union of donuts and tacos continued to swirl around in her stomach. "Are you alright Rainbow?" Before she could answer, Rainbow Dash expelled vomit like there was no tomorrow. It was a dark green shade. "We must go home now if you are sick." said Shrek. "The e coli is very contagious." After Shrek had a hearty lunch, the couple began the ride home.~~~~~~~ When they returned home, Rainbow Dash began to feel better. "Shrek I feel better! Up to some mid day love making?" "YES." Shrek grabbed Rainbow Dash and began heading inside. They opened the door to see Donkey violently masturbating. "GUYS, I CAN EXPLAIN, THIS ISN"T WHAT IT LO-" "Oh, I know what it is alright." Shrek glanced over at RD and she did the same. They slowly approached Donkey.