This summer, we had the opportunity to talk to first year management engineering student, Andrew Dickson, about his experiences with mental health. This is the story of his mental health journey.

Q: To start things off, why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself or your experiences with mental health?

I would say that I have always taken mental health issues seriously. While in high school I had two different friends who suffered from depression at different times. In addition, my best friend tried to kill himself and was admitted to a psych ward where he was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder.

Q: Having been through that so early on, how would you say it affected you and your friendships?

It was a really painful experience watching my best friend go through such tough things and not knowing how to help. After that I was more aware, and I started being extra careful to recognize any of those signs in myself or my friends.

Q: Were you able to support your friends through these times?

I certainly tried; however, my best friend began directing death threats at me. From then on I distanced myself from that friendship. After that I didn’t have any close friends until university.

Q: Do you know how they ended up doing or how they are today?

I really don’t know. We essentially all parted ways.

Q: How are you doing now?

I would say with respect to what I experienced in high school I’m fine. It probably has had some kind of impact on me today, but I have a pretty good handle on things.

Since coming to university, in 1A my mental health was totally fine. It was only in 1B that things started to go down hill and I began to experience mental health problems of my own.

Q: Can you talk a little bit about what happened in 1B?

1B was just a really busy term for me. During that term I was under a lot of stress from school, and especially because I was trying to get my grades up so I could switch programs. Because of that I didn’t when I started forgetting to eat.

At that time I felt that so much of my life was out of my control and that eating less to lose a bit of weight was one thing that I could control. It took me about two weeks to notice that I hadn’t been eating properly. I would either skip breakfast or just have a banana, most often I missed lunch, and unless there was someone around to remind me to eat dinner i would miss that as well. It was definitely worse during times of high stress; when I was stressed about other things, even the thought of eating would make me freak out and become extremely nauseous.

In 1A, one of my closest friends was open with me about struggling with an eating disorder, so when I realized what was going on I started talking to her. All of my current friends at university have been through mental illness themselves, so they were extremely supportive of me. At that time I was reluctant to seek counseling because my friends helped a lot in supporting me and helping me to manage.

Things got a lot worse when I took a co-op job in a different city. The city and the job started giving me anxiety attacks. When I was there I felt extremely isolated and generally out of place. Without my friends there to help me, things got really bad really fast. After working there for not long, I made the decision that it was not a healthy decision to remain in that job, so I left. Fortunately, things worked out for me and I got hired by the university for the remainder of my co-op. Once back in Waterloo, my friends urged me to go to counseling because of how severe things became when I was gone. I did start seeing a counselor, and I have been working to improve things and get back to healthier habits.

Q: How are you doing now?

I am currently still in counseling to help me get better. From this whole experience I cannot thank my friends enough; without the four of them things would have been a lot worse. I am extremely thankful to know such awesome people who have supported me so much through this all.

Q: Are there any specific things your friends do to help you out?

Mostly, it was just by being there when I need to talk, and offering advice to help me out whenever I needed it. As soon as I told my roommate about what was going on, he started helping just by keeping track of what I was eating for me and encouraging me to eat the same foods and in the same amounts that I used to. He remembered what I would normally have eaten for dinner and encourage me to have that or something similarly sizeable.

Q: You mentioned that your friends encouraged you to go to counselling. How is that working for you?

Since I got back to Waterloo, I’ve been working with the university’s counselling services. It is going really well, and she helped me realize the real problem with my disorder. She helped my understand my own body image and the issues with how I saw myself through others eyes. This was a key factor in how I developed the illness. I thought it was just stress related, but she’s helping me to see that the stress triggered something else much bigger. She is helping me through my problems, and in the few short weeks I have been seeing her things are already getting better.

Q: What’s a piece of advice you’d give to someone else in your shoes?

A mental illness is nothing to be ashamed of. Would you be ashamed of a broken leg? No, definitely not. So why be ashamed because you are experiencing mental illness. The second thing I’d advise is for you to reach out to those who are close to you, and to seek help. Just because you think you understand the problem doesn’t mean you can solve it by yourself. Going to counseling never hurt anyone. Even if it doesn’t work out or it isn’t the right fit, looking for help is a fantastic step to take.

Q: Last but not least, what’s one thing you’re happy about or looking forwards to?

One of the best things about right now is being happy with how I see myself in the mirror. Also, exercising not because I feel that I have to, but because I want to, and because it makes me feel good.

If you have a story to share and are interested in being featured on the blog, reach out to one of the Mental Health Awareness directors, or email us at engsocmha@gmail.com