A Step by Step Guide on How to be an Undercover Stoner WSJ Team

Marijuana still has a bad stigma in our society unfortunately. The general public can be very hesitant to accept anyone who openly smokes cannabis or is high. Luckily, there is a way to get around these obstacles.

Caution: This is not for people who do not care that they look obviously stoned in public.

Materials: A well equipped stoner must have a few things with him or her at all times: A bowl or rolling papers, marijuana, hand sanitizer, gum, rohto eye drops, and cologne (perfume for the ladies of course).

Stay Away From: Blunts, the mixture of a cigar leaf and marijuana creates a stench that even the strongest cologne cannot mask. Also do not hotbox that makes the smell stick to you much more.

Now light up and blaze.

Clean Yourself Up: As most of you know by now your eyes become red, your hands smell like smoke, your mouth smells like smoke, pretty much your everything smells like dank buds. Use the aforementioned accoutrements as needed to mask your smell. If you can take a shower after you smoke that is a great solution.

Look Mainstream: Tie dye, Bob Marley, Snoop Dogg, Wiz Khalifa, and Pot Leaf shirts are not going to help you blend in. Wear clothes that fit, no baggy clothes, the more professional you look the less the public will suspect you of being a marijuana smoker.

Selling the Part: What you do when you are high is just as important as how you look. DO NOT ZONE. Staring at things for extended periods of time are OK if you do not care but when you are looking up at the sky for 3 minutes with your mouth open “others” may think you are intoxicated. Usually when people smoke their speech, I would not say gets slurred, but tends to carry over in a more legato relaxed fashion. Making your speech sound more pointed and staccato will help mask the fact that you are high. Do not smile or chuckle for no reason! Unfortunately, the public is suspicious if you giggle or chuckle for no reason but for the sake of blending in keep your face relaxed and normal.

Go All Out: Wear a suit. No one will know you are high.

Disclaimer: We by no means think you should follow this step by step instruction. We would rather people be more open about their recreational use of cannabis but certain circumstances will force us to hide our use of a harmless drug to other people.

The Weed Street Journal

Related Posts via Categories