What Really Happened: Last week was the best of times and the worst of times—and that was just if you were Michael Cohen. The president's former personal lawyer was due in court last week for sentencing, having plead guilty to eight charges earlier this year before discovering that plea bargaining works better if you fulfill your end of the deal. To say that the press was prepared for the prospect of Cohen going to jail was an understatement.

Inside the courtroom, however, events unfolded in a manner both unexpected and entirely unsurprising, as both Cohen's lawyer and Cohen himself tried to make a last-minute attempt to convince the judge to not throw the book at him.

Yes, "dirty deeds," a phrase sure to live on for some time, especially as things get more legally problematic for Trump. Unfortunately for Mr. "Says Who?", everything Cohen said didn't really help, ultimately.

Well, there we have it: Michael Cohen was sentenced to three years in prison. But Twitter, thankfully, thought it would be a good idea to make sure everyone knew exactly what we had:

OK, that seems kind of like a really big deal, when you put it like that. But let's ask ourselves: How would the President of the United States respond to this news? Hands up everyone who said, "With some genuinely stunning tweets," because you are this week's winners.

After sending those tweets Thursday morning, Trump then took to Fox News to better … make his case? Spoiler: it did not help.

Cohen actually wasn't done yet, because it turns out, he can do TV interviews, too.

The Takeaway: Remember how, when it comes to President Trump, there's almost always a tweet from the past to be found? Well, that, but for Michael Cohen.

That's What She Said

What Happened: When it comes to trumped-up (no pun intended, swearsies) political stunts, this week's meeting between the president and the Democratic leaders of the House and Senate felt a little like a Scooby-Doo episode: He would've gotten away with it, if it wasn't for … actually, he never had a chance.