Michael JF Matheron, May 12, 2015.

Yesterday, gun slinging George Zimmerman got what the sturdier of my southern pals call “some ‘a his on his own” when he was injured by an armed road rager in Lake Mary, Florida. The alleged attacker, another Florida man, Matthew Apperson, 35.

The Orlando Sentinel reported, Zim “suffered facial injuries today after she [sic] was shot at by an unidentified man in Lake Mary, police confirmed. Zimmerman was released from a hospital in Sanford with some kind of facial wound, possibly from a bullet or flying glass.” According to Lake Mary Police spokeswoman, Bianca Gillette, Zimmerman did not return fire, and his lawyer confirmed Zimmerman was injured by flying glass, not flying lead.

Zimmerman and Apperson apparently had an ongoing dispute, but Apperson’s attorney, Mark NeJame, claimed it was news to him. This despite a county record in September 2014 of two incidents between the well-armed men: one a stalking allegation, the other, though, a road rage incident. Both were Zimmerman on Apperson episodes in Zim’s continuing soap opera, season 2. Apperson declined pressing charges. (I ask, who among us would dare to wave a red flag toward Zim?)

Mr. Apperson’s lawyer said the shooting was

“a good, old-fashioned self-defense case.”

“Just your average guy riding around town seeking to help someone more desperate than I am, and – whoosh-bing-bang-ouch! – this dude fires a live round into my ride. Do I not have the right to peaceably assemble myself in a moving vehicle on Lake Mary’s highways? I ask you.” Indeed. Good. Old-fashioned. Self-defense. Of course, George Zimmerman is a historical figure in good. old-fashioned. Self-defense. He pushed the outer limits of self-defense with his Trayvon Martin acquittal. He accomplished a makeover’s makeover. For many of his cheerleaders, Zim transformed irresponsible gun-toting bigotted crackpots into law-abiding-old-fashioned-self-defense-citizen-soldiers.

And now this. He’s caught with his pants down, a real live victim looking for justice, i.e. “Let’s teach Mr. Apperson and his ilk that the self-defense safe harbor I, Mr. George Zimmerman, established does not extend to those incidents wherein Mr. George Zimmerman himself is the victim.”

Tonight, as the NRA poster boy for self-defense, Zim might tonight be oddly, inexplicably, pleased with the irony of his position. He might be worried; will I win? He might be confused. So confused, he might not know which side to root for. At the end of this he might be – just and only – an undiagnosed psychotic who should never be permitted to own a fly swatter, much less, a firearm of any sort. Same, perhaps, for Mr. Apperson. Time will tell, or not. I wonder which side he rooted for during the Trayvon Martin trial?

You can always go to your Congressman for help. This allegedly defensive use of a weapon by Matthew Apperson might – in some other worldly way – satisfy Congressman John Mica, the 7th congressional district congressloon sporting an “A” grade from the NRA, and a 93.45 American Conservative Union lifetime rating. through 2013. Mr. Mica has more than two decades of what these days passes for service to the American people via his representation of Florida towns including Lake Mary. Tonight, who is he prouder of, Mr. Zimmerman, for establishing no-holds-barred self-defense, or Mr. Apperson, for allegedly taking full advantage of the cover it provides? Both, equally? His head might finally spin 360, Exorcist style.

Be sure, on gun control, Mica’s clearly an unreconstructed right-to-arms guy, if not entirely logical:

One of my top priorities has been to preserve our Second Amendment rights. I do not support efforts to impose additional arbitrary gun control laws on the American people when it is evident that laws already in place are not being properly enforced. [See his House website for the rest]

Let’s see, he won’t support any new gun control laws until the laws he’d like to repeal are “properly enforced.” That’s the kind of humbug that buys you an “A” from the NRA!

The closing sentence of Mica’s official 2nd Amendment position is typical of NRA’s “A” students:

“I will continue to support measures in Congress that ensure the freedoms of law-abiding gun owners are not infringed upon.”

Yet, when do “law-abiding gun owners” become their opposites? One idea: When the law-abiding citizen shoots at a vehicle on a road in Lake Mary, Florida. Seems obvious, but it’s maybe too obvious. The question is how do we guard against so many law-abiding gun owners before the moment when they go off, literally and figuratively?

That’s a presently unasked – and perhaps unanswerable – question, but to ignore it, is fatal, or nearly so for Mr. Zimmerman.

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