Would it be too much to say that, for many years, running ruined Kate Landau’s life—in fact, almost took it—and that, just a short time ago, running saved it?

Would it be too much to say that Landau defied what seemed like the end of a tragic road three years ago to become one of the leading runners in the Northwest?

Would it be too much to say that when Landau, in her first race as a masters runner, does the Portland Marathon on October 9, she’ll represent both the healing power of running and the seductions of running that can upend the young who are victimized by fears of adolescent maturity?

Today, Landau—a former high school prodigy from New York and collegiate all-American at Georgetown—is healthy and happy, aiming for a 2:40 at Portland. Just a few years ago, however, she was destitute. Still fighting the vestiges of a decades-long battle with an eating disorder, with no means of support, and with a year-old daughter in her arms, Landau was living on food stamps in an 8’ x 6’ apartment of a couple she knew in the Bay Area of California.

“I was majorly depressed and majorly anxious,” Landau says. “I was barely functional, like in a nervous breakdown state.”

With a history of running addiction and anorexia—her weight plummeted to 79 pounds before her senior year of high school—Landau did almost no running after college and never imagined running again as she sunk deeper while confronting one battle after another.

But in the fall of 2013, after moving to Tacoma, Washington, Landau began to experience a rebirth. “As soon as we moved,” Landau says, “I began to feel totally different.”

A Long Road Back

Landau’s path to renewal took 14 years. After graduating from Georgetown in 1999, she attended Samuel Merritt University in Oakland, California, where, in 2001, she received a degree as a physician’s assistant. Still in the throes of her illness, and living in Berkeley, Landau got a P.A. position with a practice in Oakland, specializing in vascular surgery.

Landau attempted to run every so often, but within days she would be forced to stop for lack of energy or injury. As an alternative, Landau took up bicycling. But, she says, she compulsively did too much. At the same time, she couldn’t free herself from anorexia’s stranglehold.

One day in 2011, Landau, in despair, put herself in the care of a physician and psychologist, both specialists in eating disorders, as well as a nutritionist. They worked as a team to liberate Landau from the disease.

“I gave up control,” Landau says, referring to a fixation that is part of the eating disorders syndrome. “I told them, ‘Tell me what to do. I have no idea how to make myself better. I have no idea how to function.’”

Landau’s treatment, including no exercise except a daily one-mile walk, helped her—up to a point. Her weight normalized. In 2012, for support, she quit her Oakland job and moved back to New York to be with her parents in rural Sullivan County, about a two-hour drive from Manhattan.

In New York, Landau became pregnant, but her relationship with the father quickly soured. “When I was three months pregnant I kicked him out,” Landau says. “He’s never met Grace and is not involved at all.”

Landau had never imagined she could bear a child. “Extremely thin women with little body fat commonly do not menstruate and frequently have trouble getting pregnant,” says Mona Shangold, M.D., a pioneer sports gynecology who recently retired as director of the Center for Women’s Health and Sports Gynecology in Philadelphia.

“Grace is the blessing of my life and my miracle,” says Landau, who gave birth in 2012. “I never thought I would ever be able to have a baby. I would not be where I am today without her.”

Change for Good

At the outset as a single mother, Landau faced new turmoil. She had no job or income. Not wanting to remain in New York—“I’m a West Coast girl,” she says—Landau moved back to California in 2013, into the tiny Bay Area flat with the couple who could help her out.

Housing was expensive in the Bay Area. After months of trying to determine where she could afford to live and work, Landau landed a P.A. position in Tacoma, an hour away from where her older sister Caryn (also a former top runner at Georgetown) was living. With money coming in, Kate could afford child care. Kate would visit Caryn for additional help with Grace.

Once in Tacoma and feeling secure in her new job, Landau thought about trying to run. Eating better and gradually growing to a healthy 115 pounds, Landau started out in the fall of 2013 while pushing Grace in a baby jogger. A few miles led to six miles, five days a week. “No eating issues,” Landau says. “I was now in a good place.”

Before long, Landau ran her first race since college, the Tacoma Turkey Trot 5K, in 19:14. A few months later, in 2014, she ran her first half marathon, placing third among women in 1:25:09. Her mileage, some with the baby jogger, some on her own, reached 55 to 60 a week. She joined the Tacoma City Runners and was helped by a local coach, Matt Ellis.

Later in 2014, Landau won the women’s division of two more half marathons. In 2015, Landau won races at 5K, 10K and half marathon distances. In a few events, she was the overall winner, defeating all the men, setting women’s course records.

Kate Landau en route to victory at the Tacoma Narrows Half Marathon on August 27, 2016. ontherunevents.com

Landau’s progress was dramatic. Her half marathon best is down to 1:18:21, almost seven minutes faster than her debut at the distance. It’s as if all along her running soul remained pure and her early achievements—third in the 1991 Foot Locker high school cross-country nationals, second in the 1996 NCAA 10,000—were a touchstone. Approaching 40, Landau could again summon the talent that, despite her eating disorder, allowed her to run 15:53 for 5K and 33:08 for 10K in college.

Last May, with a weekly mileage high of 77, Landau made her debut in the marathon. She shattered the women’s course record at Tacoma City by more than four minutes, running 2:43:51 to place second overall, 54 seconds behind the male winner.

Landau ran Tacoma with a cold and into a headwind on the hilly course. She had not practiced drinking on her long runs, and in the race was able to swallow only a few ounces of water, along with one gel pack. Considering these factors and Portland’s flatter route, Landau hopes to get close to 2:40 on October 9, less than a month after her 40th birthday.

In a tune-up race on August 27, Landau won the Tacoma Narrows Half Marathon outright in 1:19:12. She defeated the second finisher, a 26-year-old man, by 97 seconds in the field of more than 700. “I was not focused on time,” she says. “Just trying to win.”

The Good Kind of Trials

The drive to win, to excel on her own terms, contributed to Landau’s life-threatening illness starting in her teen years. In high school, Landau was depressed and withdrawn, eating erratically and resisting help. “I felt like I was worthless unless I was running,” Landau told the New York Times in 1996, while she was at Georgetown. In that article, Landau said she always wanted to be “Daddy’s little girl” and sought to delay puberty by skipping meals while training hard, preventing growth. “I started to get symptoms of malnutrition,” she said at the time.

A sibling rivalry with her sister contributed to her low self-esteem. “I always tried to be better than Caryn,” Kate said then. Caryn, who also suffered through an eating disorder, was the 1993 NCAA 10,000 runner-up. The sisters have grown closer and plan to compete in January in the Phoenix Rock ’n’ Roll events—Kate in the marathon, Caryn in the half marathon.

Looking back on her illness, with the benefit of hindsight and her training as a health professional, Landau believes that genetic factors played a big role. She says that her family has a history of depression and addictive behavior like alcoholism. “When you lack serotonin and dopamine,” Landau says, referring to neurotransmitters in the brain related to pleasure and reward, “you do things to increase them as a coping mechanism. That could involve over-exercising, drinking, or even starving yourself.”

As a healthy woman of 40, Landau can finally look beyond coping one day at a time, and can plan for the future. She has her eye on qualifying for the 2020 Olympic Marathon Trials. Landau would be 43 by the time of the race. In 1996, Landau ran the 10,000 at the track and field trials. “Back in the trials 24 years later,” she says. “That would be pretty great.”

Marc Bloom Marc Bloom’s high school cross-country rankings have played an influential role in the sport for more than 20 years and led to the creation of many major events, including Nike Cross Nationals and the Great American Cross Country Festival.

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