I am 5'4" and as of this morning 326.2lbs. So I’m not some skinny chick speaking from a place of privilege.

Some starting points:

Is it harder in our society to be fat rather than fashionably slender? Absolutely.

Can overweight people still be physical active? Yes. I have walked 5K s. I go to the gym. I do yoga.

Do diets often fail? Yes. many many many many people will try to diet and then will stop before losing any or all the weight they wanted to lose. That does NOT mean diets are impossible or it is impossible to lose weight. It means it is very hard to change eating habits. It is especially hard if you use food as emotional support rather than just fuel. It is even harder if you have an unhealthy relationship with food or have developed a mental illness like Binge Eating Disorder or Compulsive Over Eating.

People are flawed. People are irrational so it is entirely possible to both want nothing more than to lose weight AND to eat 6 double cheeseburgers a day (This is actually my own personal experience. I am not saying all fat people eat 6 double cheeseburgers a day. I’m saying that I’ve had months where I’ve both wanted to lose weight AND ate 3 double cheeseburgers for lunch & 3 double cheeseburgers for breakfast.)

There are things I really support and like in the fat acceptance community:

Love your body as it is now. This is a very healing thing. If you have spent years hating yourself and your body, making peace and learning to love yourself is wonderful. People should NOT lose their job, be discriminated against when it comes to health care or housing simply because they are overweight. Just looking at someone’s weight doesn’t tell you everything about them. Fat is not a moral failing. Fat does not mean lazy, dirty, or greedy.

My problem with This is Thin Privilege is a lot like my problem with PETA or the NRA. We have some of the same core beliefs (fat people should still be treated as people, animals should be treated ethically, Americans should have the right to own guns). And then they go way too far.

Examples:

Fat people are discriminated against by doctors:

This is true. I even experienced it when a doctor let me bleed for 5 solid years only offering “lose 100lbs” as her medical advice. By the time I went to a decent doctor, my iron was a little less than half what it should have been.

Where TITP gets it wrong: If you are morbidly obese and go to a doctor for a check up, they are NOT fat-shaming you when they suggest losing weight. Even if all your lab results are normal. I’m 326lbs and my blood sugar, cholesterol, liver function, and blood pressure are all normal. But that doesn’t mean I’m “Healthy”. The extra 185lbs on my frame makes my heart work harder, makes my joints work harder, and statistically makes me more likely to develop a chronic condition. Simply because some of the most common indicators of poor health are still normal doesn’t mean I’m “Healthy” at 326lbs.

Health At Every Size (HAES):

I really like the original concepts behind HAES. Originally the idea was: eat nutritionally dense foods in reasonable quantities, get 30 minutes of activity a day, and then forget about the scale. Because by doing this you will become healthier no matter what size you are. HAES also promoted the idea that people are individuals and may fall anywhere on the bell curve. So one person at 5'4" may be healthiest at 105lbs while another may be healthiest at 140lbs.

Where TITP gets it wrong: They will insist that just by looking at someone who weighs 400lbs you can’t know if that person is unhealthy because HAES!

Skinny people can be unhealthy too:

This normally comes up when someone mentions increased cost of health care due to obesity. And yes, skinny people can get type 2 diabetes, have high blood pressure, have coronary artery disease, etc…

Where TITP gets it wrong: Simply because people who fall in normal weight ranges can also be unhealthy doesn’t erase the correlation between obesity and increase health problems. And with obesity increasing in most 1st world countries, health care costs will also increase. This doesn’t mean “Fat people are bad and shouldn’t get health care”. We still treat smokers for lung cancer and miners for black lung even though they made lifestyle choices that led to their conditions.

It’s not my fault I’m fat:

There can be a LOT of things behind why someone has excess weight. Thyroid issues can pack 20-30lbs on a person. There are certain types of birth control that tend to lead to weight gain. Steroids used for breathing issues can pack on water weight. Prednisone taken for arthritis can also cause a lot of water retention. People with chronic pain from genetic conditions or injuries can find it very difficult to stay active and suddenly find themselves gaining a ton of weight because their diet didn’t change when their activity level dropped. There are people with mental illnesses like Binge Eating Disorders and Compulsive Over Eating which will lead to weight gain.

Where TITP gets it wrong: People will post things along the lines of “I eat 800 calories a day and work out for 2 hours every day and still weight 280lbs!” And that simply defies how biological organisms work. If that were the case, we would have liberated some fat people from the Nazi prison camps. And if you honestly eat 800 calories a day (and by honestly, I mean you have weighed out your portions and marked down everything you put in your mouth) and work out for 2 hours a day and naturally stay at 280lbs - please contact your closest University with a medical school to let them know. Some student working on their PhD would LOVE to write a paper on you.

Where TITP gets it wrong: No one is 5'6" and 300lbs without over eating being part of the issue. Yes, that thyroid condition can pack on 30lbs, and that birth control can add another 30lbs. But the rest of the weight is from the body storing extra calories as fat. And over eating doesn't mean you are a bad person. But it is why you are fat.

Where TITP gets it wrong: But I have an eating disorder! Eating disorders are DEADLY and should be taken seriously. If the root of your weight gain is an eating disorder (Binge Eating Disorder, Compulsive Over Eating) get professional help.

BUT, we don’t tell 90lbs anorexics “You should love yourself as you are. Fuck society! Embrace your bony ribs.” No, we have compassion for their struggle and we get them professional help. But we don’t tell them to stay as they are.

My skinny friend / family member fat shamed me!:

This story usually goes along these lines:

I went out to eat with my friend Barbara who is a size 2 (I’m a size 28). When the waiter came over Barbara said “Oh I’ve gained weight and I’m barely fitting in my jeans today. So I have to be good. I’ll have the grilled chicken salad with no cheese, no dressing, and no croutons.” I was devastated! If she thinks she’s too fat to eat a normal meal, what must she think of me??!!!??

Where TITP gets it wrong: When a friend says “I’m getting so fat” or “I hate how my thighs jiggle” or “My belly is disgusting”… that has NOTHING to do with you.

The comparison you are drawing of “I’m twice her size, if she thinks she is fat, what must she think of me?” is your own insecurity. In that moment, your friend isn’t thinking about you. She is expressing her own insecurity. It has NOTHING to do with you.

Random Public Person fat shamed me! This shows how society hates fat people!:

This happens. You can be out walking in your neighborhood and some random dude driving by will yell out “Fat Ass!” Or you can be sitting in Wendy’s enjoying your frosty and some teenager will walk by and oink at you while his friends laugh.

Where TITP gets it wrong: This encounter isn’t “Fat Shaming” so much as it is “Congratulations you crossed path with an asshole”.

Ask any skinny male runner and he can tell you about dudes in vehicles yelling “Homo” or “Faggot” or throwing a bottle at him.

If you are fat, assholes can easily come up with something nasty to say to you. That isn’t because they hate fat people, it is because they hate people. It is because assholes feel big when they can insult and belittle someone. Being fat just makes you an easy target because they don’t have to think hard about what insult to hurl.