What's most ironic about the fat-shaming man is that despite daily trips to PornHub, they think they understand women's bodies. The truth of the matter is they understand our bodies about as much as washing their genitals, AKA not a damn thing.

And it doesn't stop there. They think they can criticize us, too. We know the standard ways plus-size women can be "more desirable" is to lose weight (sooo easy, right?), but why stop there when we can get into tiny specificities to make fat chicks more fetching? I love men!

Drink only diet soda

@CokeZero @CocaColaRacing are saying that if women want to be attractive they better not get fat so drink Coke Zero? — Puddy chains (@Puddychains) July 5, 2014

I didn't know beverages with enough sugar for a diabetic to overdose on their insulin intake would be the definitive answer to all my weight loss prayers. Definitely never crossed my mind.

Implementing structural systems for optimal hotness

Hot take: fat people need systems to help overcome tendency to overindulge. — Marcus o'Reallyus (@WesternCivRocks) February 12, 2018

If it hasn't shut down again, why don't we just call up our government and eliminate food stamps just for the sake of one man's irrelevant-ass opinions? It's clearly the only option here.

Just workout! What a genius!

Fat women just need to workout instead of saying "skinny men might like me" — Mestizo Baby (@_NinoFrown) March 31, 2015

I'm saying what everyone is thinking. Fat people need to work out but do it so I don't get disgusted — Chris Bahel (@chris_bahel) February 9, 2018

Umm…lifting weights, attempting squats, and tripping over my laces on the treadmill wouldn't stop me from intentionally trying to stop your blood circulation in your skinny man twin-sized bed. But please, proceed in your fat-shaming rant along with that double chin.

Only wear…fat clothes? Whatever those are

Fat girls just need to wear fat clothes and not leggings and shit and they good wit me — Nate Loaf (@Rfk_Nate) August 7, 2017

"@ReaIKatWilliams: Leggings are for women who take care of their bodies. Big bitches gotta stick to sweatpants & overalls." PREACH — Virtue (@Virtue_2iLL_515) October 15, 2013

You fat girls just need to stick to the jeans — T-Raw (@TyDavis32) May 20, 2013

I don't understand why fat-shamers are blaming us when it's the retail industry's ass-backward marketers who brought us skinny jeans and still sold it to us fat girls. Don't hate the player, hate the clothing game!

Dress according to our shape

Apparently her cleavage was visible and “plus size women need to dress more modestly." — Dianna E. Anderson (@diannaeanderson) September 10, 2017

true"@Pelonomi_: Society does not a have a problem with Fat Girls. Not At all. Fat girls just need to dress according to their body shapes." — Lex Sekgota (@YourBoy_Lex) February 25, 2016

It's funny they have a problem with my fat girl dress code. Maybe when they've finished advertising their unwashed boxer shorts via prison-inspired saggy pants, I'll consider their fashion advice.

Grow taller since our height to weight ratio is super offensive

The biggest one being the idea that all plus size women need to be a certain heigh requirement b/c that'll somehow make them 'proportionate' — Фабиана (@FFFABIANAAA) June 28, 2016

Unless you're going to throw down Benjamins to get my knees done and your mouth should only be open to do one thing—and it doesn't require any form of speaking.

I've already formed a minor case of arthritis from scrolling through all this fat phobia. I just feel genuinely sorry for those Twitter trolls who haven't discovered the wonders of a Twinkie.

Related stories recommended by this writer:

● Fuck what you heard, plus-size girls CAN lead perfectly healthy lifestyles

● Why does Tyra Banks hate fat models?

● 'Chub traps' are the sexiest thirst traps featuring thicc girls ONLY

@aribines