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obby Prince, left, and Joe Openshaw were legally married in this Washington D.C. ceremony in September. They want a Methodist ceremony in Alabama. (Special/Kevin Higgs)

I

am ashamed.

My brother Murray and his partner Steve Elkins will be married Oct. 26 in a "Covenant Blessing" at their United Methodist church in Delaware.

Oh. I'm not ashamed of that.

Those two have done as much good in the world as any people I know, and I'm nothing but proud. I've thought them an old married couple for most of the 35 years they've been together, anyway. This is but a stamp of recognition from their church and community, finally giving them all those legal and civil rights and privileges I take for granted.

So I'll gather my wife and kids, and the only thing we'll worry about is what to wear to a gay wedding. We'll pick up my mom -- the widow of a United Methodist preacher, the daughter, daughter-in-law, sister and the sister-in-law of Methodist preachers, and head to the service. At a United Methodist church.

That's why I'm ashamed. After all that family tradition, I'm ashamed of being a Methodist. In Alabama.

As it turns out two gay men from Bessemer also planned a church wedding for Oct. 26, coincidentally the same day as my brother's wedding. But the leader of North Alabama Methodists said no. It would detract from "the vision" of the church.

I'll get back to that.

First, you should meet Joe Openshaw and Bobby Prince. These guys attend Discovery United Methodist Church, where they lead a book club. They go to work and pull their weight and vacation down at the Gulf of Mexico. They eat Alabama barbecue on Idaho baked potatoes. Like anybody else.

They've been together 12 years, and already went to D.C. for a legal marriage. But as Methodists they wanted their relationship blessed by their God in their Church in front of their families.

But they can't get married in their church. They can't get an Alabama pastor to do the service, because doing so would break Methodist law as laid out in the Book of Discipline. That book – all-the-while extolling the virtues of inclusiveness and committing to ministry "for all," declares homosexuality "incompatible with Christian teaching."

So Openshaw and Prince asked retired Bishop Melvin Talbert to perform the wedding, and Talbert agreed to come to Birmingham. It is to be the first same-sex wedding conducted by a Methodist bishop.

Bishop Melvin G. Talbert (United Methodist News Service)

But our Bishop, North Alabama Conference Bishop Debra Wallace-Padgett, is worried about vision, and church law, and taking our theological eye off the ball.

She issued a statement that said this:

"I have urged the bishop (Talbert) to not officiate at the event which centers on a complex issue that is polarizing our society and church. The anticipated media coverage of this event will test our capacity to remain focused on our vision, mission and priorities that have emerged over the past year."

Talbert responded with a statement of his own.

"Bobby Prince and Joe Openshaw have fulfilled all the requirements for marriage by our church, with the exception that they happen to be two gay men in love," Talbert wrote. "So, I shall keep my promise and perform the wedding ceremony for Joe and Bobby, who desire the blessings of our church in the presence of family, friends and clergy as they openly declare who they are as part of the family of God."

Wallace-Padgett issued another statement urging Bishop Talbert to reconsider, hammering him for disregarding a church law, and blah blah blah.

I realize I am speaking as a Methodist, to Methodists who like to talk of love and inclusion. Baptists and Episcopalians, Catholics, Jews, atheists and disciples of the flying spaghetti monster will have to sort out their own beliefs.

But all I feel is shame. Because we've been here. Heard that. Learned nothing.

It is worth note that Talbert, a practitioner of "ecclesiastical disobedience," was arrested in Atlanta during a civil rights era sit-in, that he shared a jail with Martin Luther King Jr.

Because the irony is thick. It was from a jail right here in Birmingham that King so famously answered clergy – including a Methodist bishop – who spoke out against disobedience. They were, like Wallace-Padgett, more concerned with law than fairness.

"You express a great deal of anxiety over our willingness to break laws," King wrote then. "I would agree with St. Augustine that "an unjust law is no law at all."

He said much more. That what Hitler did in Germany was legal, while aiding and comforting Jews was not.

"I am sure, had I lived in Germany ... I would have aided and comforted my Jewish brothers," King wrote.

I can't sum it up better than Dr. King. But I do wonder about the same things he wrote about:

I have traveled the length and breadth of Alabama, Mississippi and all the other southern states. On sweltering summer days and crisp autumn mornings I have looked at the South's beautiful churches with their lofty spires pointing heavenward. Over and over I have found myself asking: "What kind of people worship here? Who is their God? ... Where were they when Gov. Wallace gave a clarion call for defiance and hatred?

Where are they today, I would add. And are they at all ashamed?

John Archibald is a columnist for Alabama Media Group. Email him at jarchibald@al.com