Thanks to Al Franken, we all know that Bill O'Reilly wrote a terrible pornographic novel in 1998. Now the Village Voice's head garage-sale nut has digitized a bunch of choice clips from the audiobook (read by O'Reilly), including "Say baby, put down that pipe and get my pipe up," "Cup your hands under your breasts and hold them for ten seconds," and "Cunnilingus involves the lips and tongue."

As William Gibson sez, "PLEASE! THE MASHUP!! SOMEBODY DO THE MASHUP!! "

"Off With Those Pants": Bill O'Reilly Seduces You in Clips From His Dirty Audiobook

(Thanks, Bill!)

