(I am a vampire at a haunted house. My costume includes fangs, a cape, and of course, I am drenched in blood.)

Teenage Girl: *looking extremely mad* “What is this?! They got your costumes all wrong!”

Me: *snarling, not dropping character* “You smell delicious… It’s so rare we get fresh victims…”

Teenage Girl: “No, no, no! Vampires drink ANIMAL blood! And why aren’t you sparkling?!”

Me: “Your neck… It’s so… inviting—”

Teenage Girl: “This is WRONG! You aren’t real vampires!” *stomps away*

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