The Bullshit generators are things of beauty. All those empty pointless lines of words that make no sense on their own coupled together somehow manage to drive into the negative zero-sense zone even further. To the point, it is just some noise filler placeholder from beyond — way beyond reason. Something that may be called “semantic Eldritch abomination”. But, to be honest, that’s too much honor for such trifle.

Bullshitspeak is a variation in professional jargon. The main difference between it and bullshitspeak is that professional jargon keeps things short while remaining meaningful to those in the know. Bullshitspeak, on the other hand, is designed to make no sense whatsoever but sound extremely convincing. It is one of those things that naturally evolved out of the corporate drive to make everything “mony, mony”. And there is nothing particularly bad about it. Not everyone can write meaningful and convincing text.

Look at the thing from their perspective — they need to convince investors and then consumers that their “thing” is “the thing”. And in order to do that they use magick-spracht that makes their “bullshit” sound legit. And despite being actual bullshit — it works. For some reason that is beyond comprehension people (with money to invest) seem to buy into obviously random complicated, tangled, long and winding words and sentences that are apparently in greek \ bird language.

The funniest thing about bullshitspeak is that it is not very effective if you actually read into it. But it is extremely effective on a surface level — when the recipient is simply looking through it without paying much attention to the details. That’s where the magick starts — it is designed to make recipient give up on attempts to get through it. It looks like a whole lotta text with whole lotta funny words that probably mean so much you gonna have a headache by trying to decipher it. It brings to mind that particular thought “Maybe those guys really mean it”. And after that — all parties involved are more or less satisfied. “Fun” “Fun” “Fun”.

Over time this obscure nothing language became really tiring. It spread across the Internet like syphilis, lurked at every corner and poisoned many previously brilliant minds. The whole search engine optimization thing made matters worse. Bullshitspeak became inescapable. It was here and there and everywhere just because. And then the copywriting thing blew up and every writing person who didn’t want to starve became a partner in crime. More bullshit content — more nothing crap — more nonsense morsel — a sea of grey placeholder goo.

It is fair to say that bullshitspeak became a “language” of its own. It is too different from a regular language. The problem with that claim is that languages are usually designed to transmit information while bullshitspeak is designed to fill space, mean nothing in particular and look convincing. Bullshitspeak is bland. And that’s where Bullshit Generators enter the game.

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If anything, Bullshit Generators are a sign of the times. In these uptight times, we need more and more content to fill the space. Random text generators and search engine optimization are coming hand in hand. It is a perfect-perfect combination.

Essentially Bullshit Generators are a riff on Lorem Ipsum placeholder text generators. They are based on the same technology. The main difference is in the use of vocabulary. Their purpose can’t be any different — Bullshit generators make placeholder text that doesn’t look like one. But since random text generation isn’t capable of writing actually meaningful texts — bullshit seems to be a natural solution because it doesn’t need to be meaningful. You just put your nouns, verbs, and adjectives into the program and let it roll. It is an abomination but why not?

While random word generators are very useful during brainstorms — random text generator is mostly counterproductive. You can only use for fun. If you want to make a legit text of it — you need to re-edit it so much it would be more reasonable to write it on your own. But as a joke — there is something to wrestle with.

But why bother talking about bullshit generators without pointing out the most glorious examples of it? How about making a little headbangers journey through the weird and unimpressive world of Bullshit Generators? Fasten your seatbelts — this is going to lackluster ride.

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This generator tries to make so-called text poop collage out of search queries. You type down the request and it pierces together a hapless string of random words connected with the keywords with a little help of Google Suggest.

Sometimes the resulting text collage is very funny. Usually, it is pure gibberish. One-two-three word queries don’t really work — the results are generic. But if you enter longer sentences — it truly starts to shine. The resulting texts are psychotic ecstatic repetitive HAL-9000 soliloquies. Something to behold.

This one is not as sophisticated. It is centered around Bitcoin and cryptocurrency topic. Generators formula is simple — verb then adjective then noun (with minor variations). It can be useful as tactical insertions but sadly you can’t construct whole text out of it. Although it is very handy in cases of desperate fits of flarf inspiration. With its help you can make really cryptic haikus:

exchange confirmed cryptography.

whiteboard pre-mined hash rates

implement satoshi signatures.