Humboldt Park, IL - Chance the Snapper, Humboldt Park’s beloved Alligator, was seen leaving early Tuesday Morning with nothing but the scales on his back, after finding out his lagoon’s rent was about to dramatically increase.

Chance reflected on when he first arrived, “This lagoon was nice when I first came, nobody paid me too much attention. I thought, I could settle down here. Then I hear some croc at a town hall meeting declare himself my landlord, and tell me that my lagoon rent is going to skyrocket.” Overnight, Chance’s rent inflated by an inconceivable percentage since it was previously $0.00/mo, making this Chicago’s first example of super-gentrification.

The landlord James Willowbrook, defended his decision about his only property, stating, “Chance attracted a lot of attention, of course the lagoon was going to get more expensive, and everyone has to pay their fair share!”

Since Chance left, the lagoon has filled with houseboats, there's a new gastropub, and rent has never been higher assuring that no self respecting gator will ever try to live there again.



