Too often when a relationship is over, it is very difficult to move on because of unresolved feelings of love and or lust by one or both individuals. Sometimes it may be hard to deal with the newfound loneliness. This may manifest itself in desperate, meaningless and or selfish booty calls with one another, undoubtedly resulting in even more hurt feelings and confusion. The natural grieving process that comes from a breakup of a relationship becomes even more slow and painful.

What to do? Quit cold turkey! Set strict guidelines of behavior with one another or just for oneself, which will allow you to make that clean break. They should include:

1. No more sexual intimacy with your ex! Continued sex with your ex is a way to mask the pain of the break up; sort of a self- medication. Think about drinking or drugging to kill the pain. All you end up doing is deadening the pain and not resolving it.

2. Don’t put yourselves in the temptation zone by spending time together. That means no dinners, or hanging out together with friends, or even trying to be friends (especially early in the break up). You are only going to complicate and confuse things between one another.

3. Stop following your ex on social networking. As well, stop asking your mutual friends about how your ex is doing! You will only end up torturing yourself when you find out your ex is still pining for you, or even worse (but really better) have found a new (sex) partner to exorcize your old relationship.

But trust me when I tell you that leaving the damaged relationship, and quitting cold turkey may be difficult and painful at first, but in the long run you and your ex’s sanity and self esteem will be healthier and the emotional pain will dissipate faster. It may just be me, but when it comes to a failed relationship, I would rather quit cold turkey and move on in a healthy manner, then be stuck and conflicted and act like a jive turkey!

Dr. Jeff Gardere is a psychologist and contributing expert to EXaholics.com