At around 40 seconds this became the most beautiful safety instructional video I’d ever seen:

Northern lights and rainbows for the sleep deprived.

As someone that does not enjoy flying, even I looked forward to watching it again on the return flight, which I’m going to skip forward to for a moment. Because our departing flight was overnight (a triumph I’ll comment on in the next section) the cabin was kept dark. However for our returning flight which was during daylight hours, the the ceiling of the plane was lit to simulate the northern lights. Also they have a killer drawing app. All around A+ for Icelandair.

Beating the jet lag

Our flight left Toronto at 8pm EST and landed at 6am GMT, which meant the 5 hour excursion landed us in the Keflavik Airport at 1am to our internal clocks. Before I explain our jet lag strategy I have two small notes:

As of February 2016, when you exit or enter a flight you have to walk the tarmac to get into or or out of the plane (a bus may pick you up). So if you’re one of those people that likes to put your coat in your checked bag, don’t. Anyone that is arriving at the Keflavik Airport from countries other than the US or the EU will need to go through security again before entering the airport. So if you are one of those people that wants to always have a full water bottle on you at all times (like me), don’t.

After you’ve already been charmed by Icelandair, the Keflavik Airport (which was, fun fact, built by the US army) continues to lull you into Iceland‘s spell. Bjork quotes fill the windows, everything is incredibly well designed and after each process you’re asked to rate your experience with one of these:

It was 8am by the time we got to Hotel Marina (transportation was a part of our prepaid package but to anyone that needs a ride to the bus terminal in Reykjavik I would highly recommend Fly Bus) and even if we had been able to get into our room at that point, we were determined to stay awake. Our jet lag strategy was no naps for the entire first day and then we’d go to bed early, establishing as normal a sleeping pattern as possible. Here’s my advice to anyone that wants to try this strategy: Don’t.

When you first get there you are adrenaline filled and ready for anything, by the afternoon you are so tired you want to punch one of the really attractive Icelandic people in their really attractive faces. My advice to anyone taking the overnight flight to Keflavik is to stay awake for as long as possible, walk around, have a milkshake at the Lebowski Bar to tide you over if you need, and then take about a three hour nap before you have dinner. It worked like a charm for us, we still got a good 8 hours that first night and felt like new the next day.

To help us stay awake on the first day, Lauren also found a walking tour run by local history graduates (seriously, she is the best travel partner). I’d recommend The “Free Classic,” where their model is pay what you can/feel at the end of the tour. We each gave around ISK 3–5000 to our guide Erik who was excellent. He was informative, gave us his opinion, answered some pretty offensive questions with class asked by people from Ohio and Texas, and he kept us awake past 4pm! (I could write a whole other blog about my feelings towards Ohio, but I’m not going to, yet).

Our tour guide Erik chatting with us outside of the beautiful downtown high school, a place I would never have thought to wander through.

Reykjavik

While we rested our heads in the city each night, we really only spent two full days in Reykjavik and honestly it felt like plenty of time. You can’t go wrong just wandering around, at one point Lauren said to me, “I think there is a law in Iceland that everything needs to be adorable.” It may sound like she’s exaggerating, but she’s really not. I’ve never been to a country where consideration, design, and care is put into every inch of it’s boundaries. But then, I’ve never been to Denmark.

Of all the things we did and saw, the two attractions I enjoyed the most were not what I expected.

The Hallgrímskirkja Church is probably what comes to mind when you think of Reykjavik. It’s historical and cultural significance is never forgotten with it’s ever watchful presence over the city. But I implore you, pay the ISK 900 and take the terrifying elevator up to the top. That view has a special place in my heart.

2. The Harpa Concert Hall exterior was designed to simulate fish scales (for the largest industry in Iceland) and at night the windows become a spectacular light show dancing like the northern lights. It is a beautiful building on the outside but nothing prepares you for how breathtaking it is on the inside.

We also saw very cool exhibits at Hafnarhús (Amit’s suggestion). Your ticket will also gain you entry to two other art museums (Kjarvalsstaðir and Ásmundarsafn) if you go on the same day. They were unfortunately a bit too spread out across the city for us to make it work, so we went to The Settlement Exhibition (Lauren’s suggestion) and The Icelandic Phallological Museum (which I not only suggested, but pleaded we go to).

The Settlement Exhibition is an extremely well curated mix of interactive bits and artifacts and the whole museum circles around an excavated house. There are also Icelandic children’s games that you and a friend can play in the lobby while your other friend pounds down some licorice (which is very popular there).

There are so many things I could say about The Icelandic Phallological Museum, it’s hard to decide where to start. I guess, first, make sure that the person with the best voice in your group (in our case Amit) gets the binder explaining what each penis is and then prod that person to read the descriptions out loud. Next, I’d say that I hope there will always be a European couple arguing cutely, the girlfriend yelling, “We’re in a museum full of willies, I will say whatever I want!” for your visit if you decide to go. As I sit here reading the ‘history of the museum’ paper I took for the memories, I see how and when it happened but I am still in awe that this place exists. There have only been two times in my life that I have wanted to go to an establishment with incredible fervor, only to immediately regret it upon entering. This was one of those times (although the other was worse). I expressed this regret to Amit and Lauren later, to which Lauren replied, “We went to a settlement museum and a penis museum today, which one will you remember more?”

It’s just, you walk into a really small room that is, in the case of some animals, floor to ceiling dick. I’m not really sure what I expected but it wasn’t this:

Lauren evidently disturbed as Amit describes the penis to us.

Or this:

Reindeer. Fucking Reindeer.

And especially not this:

I shit you not, these are molds of the penis’ of the 2008 Icelandic National Handball Team. HANDBALL.

There was one real human penis and two human testicles in the museum that I’m shielding you from because those still haunt my dreams. If you’re reading this to get ideas about your trip to Iceland I’ll say this: Upon reflection I don’t regret going, but I made people I rather like go to a museum full of phallus that cost the same as the admission to three art galleries and was a fraction of the size of one of those galleries. I’m not necessarily recommending you go, I’m just letting you know it exists and that I went there and I can never change that now.

Let’s move onto some fun Iceland facts, shall we?

Police don’t carry guns, only clubs and pepper spray. You don’t need to tip. The tap water is amazing everywhere. The sidewalks in Reykjavik are cleared by hot water pipes underground, that get most of the sidewalks. If you’re planning a trip in the winter I’d suggest boots with good traction for the sidewalks that don’t get as much hot spring love. The sulfur smell is not you, or your friends. It’s the hot springs. Seatbelts are heavily enforced, even on buses. Littering is frowned upon highly (these last two points are no brainers but fun facts all the same).

Adventures

All of our activities outside of the city were booked through Reykjavik Excursions. Lauren found their reviews and prices to be the best comparatively to other companies, and I can’t recommend them enough. They pick you up from your hotel, get you to the bus depot where you get on a bigger bus headed to wherever your ticket is booked. When they bring you back they bypass the bus depot and take your directly back to your hotel. Most of the buses had Wi-Fi, sometimes it worked. When it didn’t work, the world didn’t end because we were in freaking Iceland!

Another advice nugget for you in case you’ve made it this far is as follows. We saw a lot of people wearing snow pants walking around downtown Reykjavik, which I personally didn’t think was necessary. The only time I wore my snow pants was for the northern lights and Golden Circle tours, because it does get very cold further outside of the city. Bringing them was well worth the, “Hey Lindsay, MC Hammer called, he likes your pants” joke Lauren made one morning, but I digress.

Northern Lights

Our guide spent the 30–45 minute bus ride out of the city lowering our expectations. We may or may not see it, there may or may not be too much cloud cover, it may show up as pink, purple, white or the expected green. She really emphasized that long exposures on cameras can pick up the green more than our eyes can, depending on the strength of the lights. We booked this tour on our second day because their policy is if you don’t see them you can go again until you do.

Our guide also advised us to take off as many layers as possible while we were on the bus and wait until we were just about to get off to layer back up. We drove almost back to the Keflavik Airport and were halfway off the bus when we were told to get back on. The caravan of busses then took us to a golf course where the cloud cover was supposed to be less. Amit arrived at the bus terminal at a different time than us, and the bus he was on went somewhere entirely different all together. You are truly beholden to your guide, who is constantly communicating with other guides over radio t0 make sure you’re getting the best experience possible.

Once we got to the golf course, we started playing around with exposures on our cameras thanks to the tripod Lauren brought (all hail Lauren). All of the sudden Lauren pointed out that some of the clouds looked lighter than others, so we took a long exposure of it. We waited patiently for the picture to take, eyes to the sky. When it finally showed up on the back of the camera, where we were seeing white the camera showed green!

The white light continued to streak across the sky for a while, until around midnight when they turned the buses on, signaling us to return. Later when we asked Amit, he said he saw green wherever he was (nearer the airport). We also realized upon reflection of our messing-around pictures that there were small green patches we didn’t see until we were looking at our cameras in better lighting. It really is a game of luck that personally I think we all won.

Golden Circle

The choice between the Golden Circle tour or the Golden Circle Tour and Fontana Wellness Spa wasn’t a hard one to make. We got to pet Icelandic horses (it is considered offensive to call them ponies), stand next to the erupting Strokkur Geysir, view the massive Gullfoss waterfall, stand between two tectonic plates at the Mid-Atlantic Ridge, and lounge in natural steam baths. Before we went into the steam baths at the Fontana Wellness Spa, we also got to eat Icelandic rye bread that was cooked in a sealed pot that had been buried in the hot springs. There’s not much more to say about that amazing day.

Gullfoss waterfall

Lauren also warned me that both at the Fontana Wellness Spa and the Blue Lagoon we would be expected to shower nude before going in, an attendant might even watch us to ensure we did indeed shower. Keeping the water pure is very important. First, at Fontana we started to stroll towards the showers wrapped in towels but still in the buff, and then we both just started laughing. There was no one there watching us and everyone else was showering in their bathing suits, so we did the same. Most places supply soap and shampoo, you should shower before you go in because it is better for the hot spring, but you’ll be more interested in showering once you’re done. The salt in the water can turn your hair to straw, honestly you’re too elated from just having been in a hot spring bath to care.

Blue Lagoon

On our last full day we went to the Blue Lagoon which despite its reputation as a tourist trap was well worth it. There were other geothermal baths in and around Reykjavik that we could have gone to for a portion of the price, but the beauty of the Lagoon and it’s surrounding area is out of this world.

The Blue Lagoon

Upon arrival you are given a wrist band that is your life until you leave. It opens and closes your locker, it pays for your drinks at the bar and you can’t leave the locker room area without returning it and cashing out. Once you’ve showered you get into the geothermal water indoors and then once you’ve acclimated are able to go outside through a door that is partially submerged. We started by slowly drifting around the perimeter of the entire lagoon. First we hit the mud bar where we were given a free white mud mask, we let it dry on our faces for five minutes before washing it off and then floated around. We hit the actual bar eventually and continued to float around. Really we just did a lot of floating around.

Because of it’s location a lot of people go to the Blue Lagoon on their way from Reykjavik to the airport. We decided not to do this because we were able to pick any hourly bus we wanted back to the city and we didn’t want to feel rushed. As we continued to lounge in the water two employees came around and offered us a free sample of another face mask, this one was a lava scrub. My god it was magical, “I’m going to buy a bottle for everyone I know,” I said. And then I saw the price in the gift shop and opted to buy some fridge magnets instead. Besides the construction where they are expanding the lagoon and the lava scrub tragedy, you really don’t feel like you are at a tourist trap at all.

Food

If you’ve made it this far, mazel tov. You’re almost to the end.

Lauren told me that Amit would know where to find the best food, and my god was she right. After the 2nd or 3rd outstanding restaurant he took us to I asked him where he found these restaurant recommendations? I researched so many restaurant suggestion forums and didn’t find any of the places he’d taken us to and they were all mind blowingly good. He said he found the local ‘culture’ newspaper and looked at their best of lists. I’m going to call out a few highlights where we stuffed our faces but if none of these strike your fancy I would follow Amit’s move and check out The Reykjavik Grapevine for other suggestions.

You can find the english paper in most doorways in Reykjavik.

Lebowski Bar I mentioned earlier that we had milkshakes at the Lebowski Bar, to be honest I’m glad that’s all we did. Originally we were going to eat there for fun but it wasn’t anything we couldn’t have eaten back home.

Bæjarins Beztu Pylsur You might be asking yourself, what’s so good about a hot dog? Why do people go so crazy over it? I too was skeptical, then I ate it and now all other hotdogs are inferior to me.

Jómfrúin Order anything with roast beef and you’ll be pleased. They serve Icelandic style open-face sandwiches on rye bread that are great to fill you up in case one hot dog from Bæjarins Beztu Pylsur wasn’t enough.

The Pizza Place With No Name The week we were in Reykjavik there was a guest chef from Sweden that had a takeover menu. There were only 5 pizzas we could pick from that were each as eclectic as the others. So naturally we had to order one of each! We made friends with the bartender who gave us a great beer called Milkshake (it’s not what you’d expect) and told us that their normal menu is also really good. It’s a very fun place for a group but you may wait a while as it is very popular.

It was after this meal that I was no longer able to wear pants that button.

Sægreifinn They are well known for their lobster soup, we got that and a skewer of scallops each. Everything was cooked perfectly and it was all very fresh. One waiter recommended we get seafood or lamb anywhere we go, advice I would pass on to anyone.

Slippbarinn Because this restaurant was a part of the hotel we assumed it would be overpriced and maybe even not good. Still, we decided to eat an early lunch there the morning we were leaving for the Blue Lagoon to save time, and it turns out we’re thick. It was both delicious and very affordable. That night when we got back from dinner there was a huge group of locals having a birthday party there, so it’s definitely not just for hotel guests.

Matur og drykkur I saved the best for last which feels strange as this was where we ate on our first night. The way it works is there are several tasting menus, and the entire table has to get the same menu. After consulting with out waiter we all agreed on the Icelandic Menu (read below). Our waiter at Slippbarinn told us that this restaurant is exotic even to Icelanders, but some nights after I have nightmares of the penis museum, I have lovely dreams of this amazing restaurant. Every course was delicious but Lauren and Amit were both pumped for the Skyr — a low fat cheese that our waiter said, “we added a lot of fat too.” We continued to get Skyr when it was available, including in smoothie form at the Blue Lagoon.

Matur og drykkur translates to Food and drink

In Conclusion

Enjoyment on this trip would not have been possible had it not been for Amit and especially Lauren. Next time we travel I’ll do all the work, this is my promise to you.