Pune police

Bharosa Cell

research

marriages

Bharosa

SNDT

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psychology

An arranged marriage is more likely to sustain as parents and relatives intervene to ensure that. In the other cases, the parents may already be averse to the relationship and offer no support when things start coming apart — Smita Joshi, marriage counsellor

Based on their study of data shared by theCell of Pune police, two professors at Shreemati Nathibai Damodar Thackersey () Women’s University have found that couples who were brought together by an arranged marriage are more keen to keep it together against all odds, as compared to those who chose their partners of their own volition.They’ve drawn this conclusion from the fact that 80 per cent of the cases before the cell are of couples who tied the knot at the behest of their family and friends. On the other hand, the number of cases of those who married people of their personal choice (love marriage as it is called in the subcontinent, where the other format is a more accepted practice) was merely 15 per cent. As for those who’ve chosen to live together without the formality of wedlock, they accounted for a marginal five per cent of the cases handled by Bharosa Cell.The twofaculty members, Dr Madhavi Kulkarni and Dr Manasee Rajhas have read this as an indication that those in an arranged union have a willingness to give each other many chances and think in terms of longterm commitment, unlike their counterparts who broke social traditions in choosing their spouse. This comes after sifting through updates shared by Bharosa Cell over three months and doing an impact assessment of its work.Elaborating on the endeavour, Dr Kulkarni, who is also the vice principal of SNDT, insisted, “The fact that there are more cases of those conflicted in an arranged marriage here is not because they are the ones having more issues, rather they are the ones who are willing to settle the issues. Talking to them and assessing the cases, we realised that they are here for a resolution. In other romantic set-ups, the couples rarely seek help, preferring to knock directly at the doors of the court and pursue drastic outcomes such as separation or divorce.”She was also very appreciative of the role being played by the Bharosa Cell as a mediator between the couples. “As in the past when families from both sides stepped in to find a middle path and a solution no matter how bad the situation, the cell perseveres with its intervention. It also calls in the families of the couples, involving them in the counselling. Instead of giving opportunity for any blame game, as a strategy the counsellors harp on the positive factors to assuage the equation between the duo,” she commended.A woman, who sought and got a resolution to her marriage through the Bharosa Cell, shared, “We were married seven years ago and also have child. In the past two years we’ve been getting into spats which began with small issues but soon escalated to critical ones. We didn’t wish to separate but staying together was becoming difficult. Having heard of the Bharosa Cell from a cop friend of mine, I felt these people would not have any vested interest. Within a few sessions of counseling, we found our minds cleared and were pushed into thinking of the positive aspects of the marriage.”When questioned on the social factors at play which would ensure that couples, who allowed their marriage to be fixed by others in keeping with tradition, would inevitably be more hesitant to go against socially accepted practices and break up, Dr Kulkarni argued, “Agreeing to an arranged marriage is no longer an act of conservatism. These days, people are more focused on their careers and life goals and prefer their parents to choose their partners while they continue to concentrate on other aspects of life.”The Bharosa Cell offers its services free of charge, though it deploys a team of police personnel, lawyers and psychologist for the exercise. Clearly pleased with the performance of the special unit, commissioner of police K Venkatesham pointed out, “Every case that comes before Bharosa Cell is addressed very seriously. All efforts are made to ensure the case is closed on a positive note.” He, however, attributed the higher number of cases being of those in arranged marriage to the continued larger preference for the accepted social practice of such unions.Offering yet another perspective on the data, city-based marriage counsellor, Smita Joshi pointed out, “For any marriage to be successful, it is essential for both sets of parents to be supportive. An arranged marriage is more likely to sustain as parents and relatives intervene to ensure that. In the other cases, the parents may already be averse to the relationship and offer no support when things start coming apart. We’ve seen a similar trend in the family courts, of arranged marriages having a better chance of survival.”