I’m not saying you’ll die just because you live in a city, but when there’s a zombie apocalypse and you’re in a city, you’re dead. I realized this last weekend when there was a huge power outage in Amsterdam. Half the country came to a halt because the power was down for just a few hours. That got me thinking about how vulnerable people are in a city. So I came up with a list of things that will get you killed while living in a city during a zombie apocalypse.

Zombies

This is a no-brainer, there are going to be zombies everywhere and they’re going to have enough people to feast on and turn into their comrades. It might be worse if they’re fast zombies that need to be shot in the brain. “Infected” that can still be killed in a normal fashion might be survivable, depending on the speed the infection spreads at. But even the relentless shamblers from The Walking Dead will mess up the entire city. Other people

I would have made this number one, but these fuckers wouldn’t be too much of a problem if the zombies didn’t show up first. So our fellow “humans” come in at a shitty second. But they’ll probably be just as bad as the zombies. And on top of that, they’re clever little fuckers too. When panic hits, the asshole drivers will become reckless pieces of shit like you have never seen before. They’ll cause traffic collisions, run people over and cause even more mayhem than before. The streets will come to a grinding halt, getting everyone stuck in traffic, waiting on the zombies to close in on them. Some people might take advantage of the fact that all emergency services are occupied. They’ll riot, loot, steal, murder and rape as if they’re getting a coffee at Starbucks. Disease

If you happen to lock yourself on a rooftop and survive for a while, or board up your apartment. At some point you’re going to have to get out to get food, water and other supplies. By this time the whole city is full of zombies, groups of hungry and wounded survivors and corpses everywhere. Not only that, but houses and stores full of rotten food, garbage that’s wasting away fast (especially during summer). This will not only cause the scent in a city to be horrible, but it will get diseases spreading like crazy. In an environment like this, with our weak immune systems these days, a simple paper cut can kill you from an infection. Over 80% of casualties in combat environments are non-combat related, and they have medics, hospitals and combat rescue teams, so go figure.. Lack of food and water

The fresh food will be gone in a couple of days, all the canned food and water will be gone even faster. “But no! That stuff lasts way longer and I’m just gonna stock up on that!” Well if you have that in a location where you can successfully barricade yourself, then yes. Like relocating to the roof of your building and setting up shop there. I will do a separate article on that later. But lets say you don’t already have this, then the canned stuff will be gone in minutes. In movies all the masses of people steal stupid shit and fresh food, but guess what? In the real world we’ve all see these movies, so we all know what to steal! Canned food, bottled water, medication and anything that can be used as a weapon. Everybody who’s ever seen a zombie movie knows this, so don’t expect to have any of this stuff left. The government

Last but not least, your government will probably kill you too. The country I live in, we down sized our armed forces a little too much for my liking, so we won’t have the firepower to attack all of our own cities. We’re also too liberal to make a call like that I think, ha! But, looking at the United States, my best guess is that all major cities where the outbreak hits will become targets. To contain the spread, bridges will be blown up first. Airports will be closed, public transport and other ways out of the city will be blocked and when all zombies are contained, your lives are collateral damage. If shit really gets out of hand, you might even get hit with tactical nukes. Because it’s not like zombies are going to fire them back like China or Russia would..

With this list I’m not saying you shouldn’t live in a city. If you like living there, go right ahead and take one for the team! Us country boys sure do appreciate our peace and quite here. Just don’t come shambling into our backyard after you’ve turned. We’ll send some people over for you to have a little fun with. Like cops on horses and shit.