PYONGYANG – As rumors swirl regarding the health of North Korean leader Kim Jong Un, analysts finally have their answer for the sudden market crash that began in late February of this year. “The stock market is famously forward-looking,” explained Jason Smyth of Topanga Capital, “And you can see almost to the minute the moment it began pricing in the death of Kim Jong Un. Based on the pattern of the fall, it appears as if the threat of nuclear war emerged quickly, perhaps because Kim will threaten to press the button from his deathbed, or because his warmongering sister takes over.” Some analysts postulate that a nuclear strike on a U.S. city is almost inevitable given how rapid the market crash was.

Source: The Hedge Data Lab

“The next major clue we can see is here,” continued Smyth, indicating the turnaround of the S&P in late March. “Most analysts are in agreement that this is the point where the nuclear victory against North Korea began to be priced in. Again, the data doesn’t give specifics, but there is a slight retracement in bullish sentiment April 1-3, which is probably pricing in the future fall of Seoul. Either way, the continued rise in indexes suggests that America either goes on to win the war or facilitates another positive outcome like the release of millions of North Korean refugees into mainland China.”

With regard to the Coronavirus pandemic that has permanently disfigured the world economy, experts now agree that it was priced in during a modest .31% S&P decrease on April 6, 1989.