Alabama Governor Agrees to Allow Syrian Refugees Who Can Run a Sub-4.5 40 SportsPickle Follow Nov 18, 2015 · 2 min read

MONTGOMERY, AL — Alabama governor Robert Bentley reversed his stance today on stopping Syrian refugees from entering the state, saying Alabama would be a “safe harbor to all refugees who prove they can run a sub-4.5 40 and have college eligibility left.” Bentley’s change of mind comes after heavy lobbying efforts from Alabama head coach Nick Saban, the state’s highest-paid employee.

“After careful consideration, I felt that it wasn’t fitting with American ideals to just ban an entire group of people who are being persecuted, no questions asked,” said Gov. Bentley. “Yet there has to be a middle ground. And that middle ground is adding some speed at the skill positions.”

Saban told Bentley in a phone call yesterday that he could take an athletic Syrian who hasn’t been coached any bad habits previously and make him into a contributing player in one year.

“That was all I needed to hear,” said the governor. “If we can open up the recruiting pipeline to Syria, and then to the Middle East and the entire Arab world, Alabama could be the top school for millions of four and five-star kids. Let other states take their best and brightest, or even Syrians who are truly in need, if they want. In Alabama, we’ll focus on the fastest and strongest. We’re not trying to be the world’s savior. We’re trying to win national titles.”

Starting today, Alabama will begin processing Syrian refugees in Tuscaloosa. Men, women and children will be put through an NFL combine-style test to see if they will be allowed permanent entry. All those who don’t pass muster will be sent over the border to Mississippi.

Gov. Bentley insisted that he doesn’t feel there is any security threat in allowing speedy Syrian refugees.

“Security threat? The only threat I see is the hopes of any other state winning a national title,” he said, high-fiving reporters.