Who doesn’t enjoy a good pool party in the middle of summer? Seriously, you’d have to be an inherently miserable person or a vampire to not find some joy in it. As a kid, they were often the best part of my summer. Even as an adult, they still rank right up there, albeit behind bikinis and topless sunbathers.

A pool party is like anti-school. It’s a manifestation of the best parts of a particular time of year. School make take up a good chunk of that year, but that makes events like pool parties even more special. They’re a celebration of a wonderful time of year when you can sleep in on weekdays, not have to worry about homework, and take mid-day naps by the pool.

I grew up in a neighborhood where there was at least one pool party a month in the summer. I currently live in a community where we had one just yesterday. You’re never too old to enjoy it. That’s why I dedicate this week’s edition of Sexy Sunday Thoughts to pool parties and all the summer joy they bring.

“Situation and circumstance determine whether being naked makes for a terrible nightmare or a sexy fantasy.”

“Fake tits won’t make up for a fake personality, but they will offer a welcome distraction.”

“Strippers are the first (and still best) manifestation of interactive porn.”

“Softcore porn is like pizza without toppings in that it’s still good, but not as much as it could be.”

“Seeing is believing, but when it comes to fake tits, feeling is certainty.”

“Telling your lover about your fantasies is akin to giving them a how-to guide to your orgasm.”

“Your doctor and your lover both know your body intimately, but your lover will always offer an affordable co-pay.”

For the record, a good chunk of these thoughts came to me while I was lounging by the pool. I like to think that these are the musings inspired by the best parts of summer. Whether they take place by the pool or in an air conditioned room, they reflect a great time of year. Between sexy swimsuits and having another excuse to sleep naked, what’s not to love?