Featured Photo by Kurt Löwenstein Educational Center International Team from Germany – IMG_28421, CC BY 2.0, https://commons.wikimedia.org/w/index.php?curid=3626670

How I Told My Employers I Am Transgender

You may have noticed my lack of post from last week. I can explain! Believe me when I say I have a good reason.

Last week was one of the most eventful weeks of my life, and it wasn’t in a bad way. After far too many months of living a double life, I finally came out at work, and despite my anxieties and fears, I can safely say it went better than expected.

As anyone who has come out as, well, anything can attest, it is not easy. There are a lot of questions. Will I be accepted? Will people think less of me? How many people will continue to deadname/misgender/question me? Coming out at your place of employment can be especially nerve wracking. Depending on your employer and place of residence, it could even be dangerous.

I got lucky. Despite my fears about living in a pretty right-leaning area in Vermont — I still think my fears were warranted — my coworkers and bosses were pretty understanding, and even the most conservative of my colleagues adapted pretty easily to referring to me with my new name and pronouns. They immediately changed my email and updated my information on the company’s website. It was incredibly validating, and I’m grateful to work for a company like this.

That said, I’d recommend you do some research before coming out at your work. First and foremost, you should look into your state’s laws regarding protections for Queer people. Luckily for me, Vermont has historically been a trailblazer for LGBTQIA+ rights. As such, trans people are protected from workplace discrimination. It’s always best to know what kind of help you expect to get from the legal system.

Next, it’s good to find some allies within your organization. Allies, especially those who work in human resources, it helps a lot if you display some kind of supportive signs in your office. It makes it more likely that someone who falls within the Queer community will feel comfortable talking to you.

In the company I work for, I found that my direct supervisor was the best person to approach at the start. She’s proven repeatedly that she is a forward-thinking and progressive person. After establishing the dialogue with her, we both scheduled a meeting with our HR director, who also turned out to be supportive.

I shared some resources with them that I found to be helpful, including this one, which talks about the policies companies should have in place to protect transgender employees in the workplace.

Together, we are working to update the employee handbook, which didn’t have any language specifically protecting transgender or gender-non-conforming individuals. Step-by-step, we’re trying to make our company better for the generations to come.

While I’m somewhat of a trailblazer in my workplace (not my words, I swear), it’s important to note that you don’t have to be. If you’re uncomfortable being the person to step forward, that is OK. There’s no shame in staying in the closet if you don’t feel comfortable coming out. I was ready to take the leap, otherwise I wouldn’t have done it. Don’t let anyone pressure you into doing something you’re not ready to do.

If you would like some advice about coming out or about how to foster a safe workplace environment for LGBTQIA+ individuals, please reach out to me at askadabt@gmail.com. Thanks so much for reading, and keep an eye out for the next installment very soon.

With respect,

Ada