A New Zealand family violence specialist has supported a call to monitor any man transitioning out of a relationship.

Heather Nancarrow, chief executive of the Australian National Research Organisation for Women's Safety, proposed the solution following the murders of Hannah Clarke and her three children in Brisbane.

Her idea, outlined in a column for the Sydney Morning Herald, was that during a separation, every man should have to undergo a mental health assessment and be scrutinised for signs of violence.

NINE Hannah Clarke with her three children Laianah, Aaliyah and Trey.

"This won't please everyone but we have tried to put support around women and it's not working," she said.

READ MORE:

* Father's shocking act throws spotlight on domestic violence

* Mother killed with her kids in car fire was trying to escape marriage to 'monster'

* $320m to tackle family and sexual violence in New Zealand

"We must target individual men."

In New Zealand, National Network of Family Violence Services general manager Merran Lawler agreed that men should be monitored to ensure they present no risk to their partners and children, or themselves.

"All of the research tells us that one of the peak times for violence is on the breakdown of a relationship," she said.

Supplied Merran Lawler is the general manager for the National Network of Family Violence Services.

Lawler acknowledged such a plan would require significant investment in support services. However, she said the first step should be changing the narrative around family violence to focus on the perpetrator, rather than putting the onus on the victim to protect themselves.

"Part of it for us is about recognising that violence is a choice that perpetrators make," she said.

"It may be made for all sorts of reasons, including their own unresolved traumas from childhood, but it is a choice. We need to have a very clear message to perpetrators that you can change those behaviours, there is help available to change those behaviours, and the responsibility for seeking that help falls on them."

Facebook Hannah Clarke and her three children died after the car they were travelling in was set alight.

Most perpetrators can't access specialist family violence services until they have been charged with a violence-related crime or a protection order has been made against them. In those case, the Ministry of Justice and Department of Corrections fund specialist agencies to provide intervention and behavioural change programmes.

"We lull women into a false sense of security that their partner is doing a programme and that somehow makes them safe, but putting a perpetrator of violence through a 20-week programme is not a magic pill," Lawler said.

"There needs to be ongoing follow-up services, regular check-ins."

The other problem that still needs to be addressed, Lawler said, is a culture that automatically puts the blame on victims.

Detective Inspector Mark Thompson was stood down from the investigation into the murders after he made victim-blaming comments while stressing the importance of keeping an open mind.

He said: "Is this an issue of a woman suffering significant domestic violence and her and her children perishing at the hands of the husband, or is this an instance of a husband being driven too far by issues that he's suffered by certain circumstances into committing acts of this form?"

Lawler said this sentiment had been echoed in social media comments where people had put forward all sorts of theories about the perpetrator, essentially excusing his behaviour.

"Every time these stories break, the instant reaction is to exceptionalise the behaviour of the perpetrator and explain it away. 'He snapped but he was a good guy, he was a loving father'," Lawler said.

"Loving fathers don't torch their children in vehicles."

WHERE TO GET HELP:

Women's Refuge (For women and children) - 0800 733 843.

If you or someone you know is in a dangerous situation click the Shielded icon at the bottom of this website to contact Women's Refuge in a safe and anonymous way without it being traced in your browser history. If you're in our app, visit the mobile website here to access Shielded.

Shine (For men and women) - free call 0508-744-633 between 9am and 11pm.

If you or someone else is in immediate danger call 111.

1737, Need to talk? - Free call or text 1737 to talk to a trained counsellor

Depression.org.nz - 0800 111 757 or text 4202

Lifeline – 0800 543 354

Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO)

Kidsline – 0800 54 37 54 for people up to 18 years old. Open 24/7.

Youthline – 0800 376 633, free text 234, email talk@youthline.co.nz, or find online chat and other support options here.

Rural Support Trust - 0800 787 254

Samaritans – 0800 726 666

What's Up – 0800 942 8787 (for 5–18 year olds). Phone counselling available Monday-Friday, noon–11pm and weekends, 3pm–11pm. Online chat is available 3pm–10pm daily.

thelowdown.co.nz – Web chat, email chat or free text 5626

Anxiety New Zealand - 0800 ANXIETY (0800 269 4389)

Supporting Families in Mental Illness - 0800 732 825.

If it is an emergency click here to find the number for your local crisis assessment team. In a life-threatening situation call 111.