“Before you judge Trump, he is technically correct — there is nobody who matches his wisdom. He is correct! I mean, no other person — no other person had the wisdom to stare directly into a solar eclipse, huh?” — TREVOR NOAH

“Wow, he’s gone full god-emperor. [Imitating Trump] ‘It is I, Donald the Great, of unmatched wisdom and infinite wives, destroyer of casinos, conqueror of 10-piece McNuggets, scourge of Chrissy Teigen, defeated only once in battle by my eternal nemesis: umbrella.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“And people were very quick to point out that this made Trump sound like the wizard from ‘The Wizard of Oz.’ If only we could pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.” — JAMES CORDEN

“That would be reassuring if you ever considered anything off limits. You had sex with a porn star, you partied with Jeffrey Epstein, and you drive your golf cart on the green. The only way you’ll stop Turkey is if they try to get your tax returns.” — SETH MEYERS

“That’s right — one step out of line, he will run Turkey into the ground like it was one of his casinos in Atlantic City.” — JIMMY KIMMEL