In July 1981 I visited the Monastery of St John the Baptist in Essex again. It had become spiritually necessary for me to go there and benefit from the Elder’s theology and spirituality, but also from the hesychastic ‘spirit’ of the Monastery, as manifested in the church services and the whole of everyday life there.

As soon as I arrived at the Monastery, Father Zacharias immediately approached me and passed on to me the Elder’s love and his joy that I had come to the Monastery again that year. He was very pleased that I loved the Monastery. At the same time he told me that the Elder had ordered him to show me round that part of Essex.

I saw the Elder every day in the refectory. One day, on account of the strong sunlight and the fact that the Elder’s eyes could not tolerate brightness, I met him coming to the refectory wearing a broad-brimmed hat with obvious enjoyment. When I asked him simply, “What sort of a hat is that, Father?!” he replied, “I found out on the Holy Mountain that monks are not lacking in originality.” And he laughed wholeheartedly.

I have written in introductory notes elsewhere that the Elder was very fond of greenery. He wanted there to be many trees at the Monastery. He asked us to plant various saplings on both sides of the narrow paths in the monastery garden. He wanted to walk under trees. While we were planting them the Elder came and expressed his pleasure at the work we were doing. He was so delighted, that when we finished he invited us into his bungalow to give us various soft drinks as refreshment. He was a great empirical theologian who behaved in a very simple manner.

When we read the writings of the Fathers we see that God is described as ‘simple’. St Gregory Palamas says that God’s simplicity is connected with the non-existence of passion and not with the indivisible distinction between essence and energy. In the same way, someone who sees the uncreated Light and participates in it is distinguished by his simplicity. I saw this very clearly in Father Sophrony. There was no split between the energies of his soul, nor between his body and soul.

One day I happened to meet the Elder with some female students who had come to see him. They were asking him about various subjects, and he was answering simply but with a theological word.

He began by saying to them: “The Greeks were always spiritual aristocrats.” He said to a doctoral candidate, “Get a degree as a ‘Dr’ so that you can go to Greece and say as many stupid things as you like”, and he laughed. Referring to modern music he said: “In the desert of the Holy Mountain I used to hear strange music above a tree, and when I came to the West and rock music had been introduced, I said Τ came across it thirty years ago!’ It was the same music.” He also pointed out to them: “In the Western world people become Freemasons in order to become powerful.” Someone said that she wanted to be more serious but could not, and the Elder replied: “Psychiatric hospitals are full of serious people.” He also said: “Converts are usually inclined to preach to us, and so they add salt and mustard to what they say.”

I also remember that he spoke to them about the cultural difference between East and West, and stressed to them that the difference in culture had consequences within marriage. In other words, he spoke to them about relationships between young men and women, and the problems of mixed marriages in a very apt, theological and adroit way. I admired both his wisdom and his discretion.

I talked to various monks and pilgrims. Someone told me: “The Elder sees other people clearly and is aware of them.” Another said: “The Elder used to pray, ‘Save, have mercy upon, succour and preserve Thy servant Hieromonk Porphyrios and by his holy prayers have mercy upon me.'” And he would say: “He is a great friend of ours.” This shows that, when people scale the heights of Pentecost and see the Light, they are united with Christ and with one another. Saints recognise saints.

One could benefit from every aspect of the Monastery: from the monks, the pilgrims and the atmosphere there. For example, one monk told me: “There is a paternity crisis nowadays. Many people realised this in May 1968 in Paris. There is a kind of individualism and a change in mentality that influences the whole of life. When a young man obeys his parents he has fewer passions. It is difficult for Orthodoxy to penetrate into the Western way of life and to be understood, because Westerners have a different ethos.”

One day I met the Elder on the stairs of the main building when I was coming down and he was going up, and he said to me light-heartedly, “I am in a state of ascension at the moment (he meant he was going upstairs). I am pleased that you are with us. I always remember you.” He was very courteous and spoke respectfully to everyone, using the polite plural form in Greek.

He took the opportunity then to tell me certain things. It must be stressed yet again that the Elder was always ready to offer theological and spiritual words. His theological words reflected the radiance of his heart and were always ready to be spoken. The passage from the Epistle was amazingly appropriate: “The word is near you, in your mouth and in your heart… For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation” (Rom. 10:8-10). Every conversation with him opened the nous and every word he spoke had energy. This is what he said to me there on the stairs.

*

Repentance is linked with theology. There is always repentance in man, but it changes form. In the beginning it is repentance on account of estrangement from God and the loss of divine grace, and afterwards repentance to find more grace. When someone repents he receives grace from God. When he receives grace – the Light – he sees his sins more, until he reaches the Light and himself becomes light. In the vision of the Light he sees his createdness, corruptibility and mortality, and repentance grows. So repentance leads to theology and is inspired by it. Repentance never ceases.

There was a monk who had prayer when he was working with his hands, but when he stopped working in order to pray, he lost it. This happened because he had a proud thought. We must pray with great humility and repentance.

When prayer gives rise to a proud thought, usually one’s nerves and nous are shaken.

When someone is accused by other people, he ought to face it in silence, because, as St John Climacus says, Christ’s silence put Pilate to shame.

When someone begins to pray, prayer itself will answer his questions. Otherwise, however much he hears about prayer, he will understand nothing.

When someone has the energy of grace and loses his temper, he feels his heart changing place.

Monasticism is a traditional institution; it is a tradition. When the Holy Spirit departs, monasticism will disappear. In our days monasticism has become less of a tradition and is maintained as a human effort. A great temptation will befall the monasteries. There will be a greater shortage of people than ever before.

We should not accept people with psychological problems into the Monastery, because the one with problems will be tormented and he will torment the other monks. When someone with psychological problems is obedient, the problems are curable. Incurable psychological disorders are marked by lack of obedience.

People who are simple cannot understand others and are easily misunderstood.

*

At the end of the conversation, before asking for his blessing, I asked him to pray for someone. He replied: “I find it difficult to pray because I do not sympathise with him. We should pray for those for whom we feel sympathy. Then prayer is beneficial.”

One day he invited me to join him on his customary afternoon walk. This time he put me in the middle between Father Kyrill and himself, and he held my arm. I was very surprised at this action of his. He said to me at once: “I am pleased that you are with us. I regard you as one of our dearest brothers.”

In the course of the conversation he said repeatedly: “You’re right”, “That is so”, “Something like that.”

Among other things he said: “Nowadays many theologians (and he mentioned some of them) write about prayer and say stupid things.”

*

On the 23rd August of the same year, as I recorded in my notebook, I met the Elder to discuss specific issues. I kept the following notes from this discussion:

*

– The Apostle Paul received the revelation from God through repentance and not from books. He received corroboration and confirmation of this revelation from the Apostles, when he visited them. Through repentance man enters the divine Being. Then theology is a narrative, in other words, he simply narrates what he has seen, heard and received. Those who philosophise talk about God as though He did not exist. However, God is Being. He said: Ί AM THAT I AM.’ Philosophers and philosophising theologians say that God is non-existent, because they have not received a revelation from God and do not know God personally.

– The saints used to say that they had not begun to repent, because, as soon as they saw God Who is without beginning, they realised that in God there is no beginning or end, and they perceived their created-ness and corruptibility.

– The Jews used to pray with their rational faculty. On the day of Pentecost the Holy Spirit was given to the Apostles as fiery tongues, and they perceived another form of prayer: the prayer of the heart. For the first time they prayed with their heart.

– God’s revelations to man are momentary and enhypostatic. We see this in Paul, Moses and Philip. God does not utter many words, but one life-giving word. This one word is conveyed by the Prophet to the people using many words.

– Even the saints cannot argue with God when they wrestle with Him. Never mind us. People wrestle with God because they do not know His will and they attribute their own thoughts, desires and speculations to God.

There is divine Light and devilish light. Sometimes one also sees the natural light of one’s mind. The philosophers (Plotinus and other Westerners) and Buddhists in the East behold the natural light of their mind, and sometimes they are even influenced by the devil. There is a great difference between them. The devil’s light has a different energy. When the devil showed his light to Staretz Silouan, Silouan even saw his intestines. The natural light of the mind is an illumination from philosophical teachings. Then man feels that these illuminations come and go. The divine Light, however, gives another kind of knowledge; it is the Light of love, the Light of Christ, a revelation of the Triune God.

It is a mistake to identify the natural light of the nous with the divine Light, just as it is a mistake to identify the natural light of the nous with satanic light. Thus the natural light of the nous may be regarded as satanic, in accordance with the saying: “Get behind Me, Satan! You are an offence to Me, fot you ate not mindful of the things of God, but the things of men” (Matt. 16:23). At other times the natural light of the nous is different from devilish light. The light of the angels is participation in the uncreated Light.

The light of Plotinus does not embrace the world with love.

In the West the culture is different from that of the Orthodox East. It is a culture of reason. They pray with their rational faculty and know nothing about the prayer of the heart. For that reason, when Westerners enter the Orthodox Church many years must pass in order for prayer to descend to their heart and for them to assimilate divine grace. Patience is needed with any aberrations they may have. If someone wants to become Orthodox, and after his Baptism he returns to his home country, where there is no Orthodox liturgical environment or appropriate spiritual conditions for his development, he experiences confusion.

Because people in the West live with their rational faculty, the so-called ‘charismatic’ movement (Pentecostals) has appeared, to enable them to understand the heart. We should not characterise this ‘charismatic’ state that can be observed in the West as delusion, because when we tell them that they are deluded, it is of no benefit to them. We should turn this current in the right direction and speak to them about Orthodox hesychasm.

Those who become Orthodox add vinegar even where they should not. The bad thing about those who belong to the ‘charismatic’ movement is that they think that they are experiencing Pentecost and are therefore in a very exalted spiritual state. This is nonsense. The Apostle Paul spoke in tongues, but he placed greater emphasis on the charisma of love. People ask me why there is no ‘charismatic’ movement in Orthodoxy and I reply: “Because the Orthodox Church has never lacked the prayer of the heart.”

– In a female monastic community in Belgium there are nuns who have ‘charismatic’ gifts. They try to live by the gift of the Holy Spirit. In principle we regard this as good, but it should be cultivated correctly through noetic prayer.

– Staretz Silouan had a very strong and sturdy body, as he could break a plank of wood that the others could not break, but he had no carnal thoughts. His nous and his body were changed by the advent of God’s grace.

Communism is put into practice in the Holy Spirit. Without the Holy Spirit it is an impossible ideal. This is clear in the case of Ananias and Sapphira. They wanted to keep some of their wealth for themselves, and the Apostle Peter told them: “You have not lied to men but to God” (Acts 5:4).

Nowadays a saint cannot be a bishop, because people cannot endure what he says. For that reason, bishops are needed who have more mediocre experience and administrative abilities, because politicians today try to approach the Church through the Hierarchy. Therefore they need to have administrative abilities and experience, in order to keep the Church out of politics. The best thing nowadays is to be a priest.

A bishop told me: “I am concerned about your salvation.” And I replied: “I am pleased that you are more concerned about my salvation than I am.”

There is a concelebrant at every Divine Liturgy. Each one participates according to his receptivity, and receives divine grace.

When someone argues with rationalists, or others who only observe the outward forms, he suffers harm, because he will either start teaching them, in which case he will lose humility, or else he will meet with resistance and his heart will be wounded.

Staretz Silouan felt the words “Keep your mind in hell, and despair not” like needles in his body.

I would rather be murdered by worldly people than go along with them and acquire a worldly mentality.

Sometimes a lot of work crushes the heart more than the scientific labour of prayer.

There is a difference between ascetic humility and the humility of Christ. When the monk experiences Christ’s humility – may God enlighten us to say it briefly – he senses an outpouring of love, but he also, as far as it is possible, has a sense of seeing the beauty of Christ’s face, Who is the beauty of the world.

When other people distress us, we should often let it pass unremarked, without explanation, because the others may not have realised that they hurt us. And it is possible that, if we ask for their forgiveness, they will think about it and it will cause a problem.

Sometimes when grace withdraws, despair comes. Then support is needed, because in this state many monks even abandon monasticism.

Very few people have been through profound repentance with great mourning.

When someone lives the spiritual life his nature is united with divine grace.

When someone rests and falls asleep saying the Jesus Prayer, the energy of the prayer remains within him all night. What is said of St Anna applies in this case, that she glorified God night and day.

When someone is not at peace it means that something is wrong. If someone prepares spiritually and marries, he will be at peace. When someone is at peace, then even if he has temptations, everything will be all right.

When we observe ourselves and spy on ourselves, our nous departs from repentance.

I teach the monks not to speak about the wrongs they suffer, but to keep silent. We ought to live as those who are crucified. This is Orthodox spirituality.

Our policy is that people should approach us without being afraid.

Those who want to become monks and are dependent on their families ought to tell them; otherwise they should enter the monastery and inform them afterwards. In the second case it will cause a shock, but they will soon calm down.

I set up this Monastery in this way. Circumstances imposed it on us. Couples come to stay from all over the world, as well as young men and women, who would not be able to stay here if it were only for men. This could not happen in Greece.

In the Monastery of Simonopetra, when I was confessor for a while (in the 1940s), the old monks spoke to me against the young ones, and the young monks against the old ones. I used to say to the old monks: “Don’t expect to find perfect monasticism among the young ones, as they come from this world.” To the young monks I would say: “You are unable to understand them because monasticism is another way of life.” I told both old and young to be patient. In this way I tried to keep a balance.

It is clear from Church history that those monasteries survived which were founded by the labour and effort of the brethren. After that, those survived which were founded by emperors. And lastly, those founded by bishops.

Faces change every day in our Monastery. It is like what happens with the liturgical books. There is the Prayer Book that contains the services, and there are the Menaia that change every month.

Parents are to blame for 70-80 percent of their children’s problems.

It is easier to raise someone from the dead than to reconcile two women who envy one another.

I want to behave with freedom and simplicity. This helps people to open their hearts. This presupposes that one is free from passions.

It is impossible to argue with simple people, because they do not understand and we will suffer harm.

Parents should bring up their children with discretion; they should not force them and should leave them free. They should buy them new clothes, and they should mix socially. They should take them to a restaurant, to a good theatre, because otherwise they will react.

Those who are suffering, wounded or poor cannot endure much, so they are offended by the slightest thing.

When you love someone sincerely, he will trust you because he realises it. Then you protect him from temptations.

From the day of the wedding about ten years will pass before the couple achieves equilibrium. We should follow them discreetly. We should offer a spiritual perspective and not get involved in details. Only in difficulty cases should we intervene.

When the fear of God comes to someone, he sees the slightest impulses of sin within himself and he begins to repent and to mourn. Then a director, an Elder, is needed, as well as love and patience, for otherwise he will be crushed. One word from the Elder ignites the fear of God. For that reason one needs first to become proficient in practical things, to be firmly grounded in practice, so that one can endure states of fear.

The English language does not have an Orthodox atmosphere. For example, the word ‘person’ means something neutral and the meaning of the Greek words katanyxi [contrition] and praothta [meekness] is impossible to convey. The English language is not suited to Orthodoxy.

The battle against us is fierce. Everyone is against us, as are science and politics. I am not a pessimist, but I think we are living in the last times. Our own attitude should be that of the martyrs: “He was led as a sheep to the slaughter, and as a lamb is silent before his shearers, so He opens not His mouth” (Is. 53:7). When we respond to force with force, we achieve nothing. The (silent) attitude of the martyrs will ensure a longer-lasting victory. If we too exercise force on other people, we shall oblige them to prepare for a second, greater attack.

*

At the end of the discussion he said: “Until we meet again, before I die.”

When we came out of the office after quite a long time, the Abbot was waiting for him outside with the monks of the Monastery; they obviously had work to do. Then the Elder said: “I was talking to Father Hierotheos and we forgot the world.”

Before I left the Monastery I asked the Elder to hear my confession. He called me to the office, which was also used for confessions, and I told him what was on my mind. His attitude was most venerable. After the customary prayer, he sat down on the chair and remained motionless, somehow settling his gaze and his nous on an icon, without looking me in the face. I told him my thoughts in a few words and he confined himself to giving some brief advice; then he read the prayer for me in a most contrite manner. The confession was an initiation into mysteries. And while he was reading the prayer very slowly, the energy of his prayer was palpable.

His basic view was that the Mystery of Confession is different from a discussion. The penitent states the core of the thought, sin or passion that bothers him, particularly during prayer, without going into details, and the spiritual father is left free to express the inner conviction or the first thought that comes to him after prayer. He also used to say that, when someone asks his spiritual father and receives advice, he ought to adopt and accept this counsel as his own, and try to put it into practice, without telling other people what the spiritual father said to him. He often told me that this is one of the basic rules of the Mystery of Confession. When this rule is broken, all sorts of confusion arise and it also causes various people to react against the spiritual father. He also said that another rule relating to the Mystery of Confession is that the penitent must not reach the point of doing battle with his spiritual father.

It was then that I discerned one of his great charismas. He told me: “If you happen to have a certain temptation (and he told me exactly which one) do not waver or be discouraged. It is an attack by the devil on account of the successes that you have in your work.”

A few days after returning to Greece, that temptation did, in fact, befall me. If the Elder had not foreseen it and told me about it in advance, I would have been very distressed.

Father Sophrony was a great hesychast and theologian, but also a wise, discerning and prophetic spiritual father. He had rare gifts of grace.

—Metropolitan Hierotheos of Nafpaktos. I Know a Man in Christ. Pages 312-322

+++