One day, when I got on the net I saw this article: Who’s REALLY Threatening Your Relationship? Basically, it's a guide for women of the four “types” of other women who are threats to ruin your relationship. According to Yahoo, the four threats to ruining your relationship with your male companions are:

Co-Worker

The Drunk Stranger

The Ex

The Opposite Sex Friend

Wow, thanks for the insight, Yahoo, way to really narrow it down and get specific. Basically, they “narrowed” it down to 50% of the women a guy will talk to in any meaningful way each day. Way to be on point with that. I can’t wait for sexual awareness week next year when they do the in depth study of people most likely to molest a child: catholic priests, guys with weird vans and Michael Jackson.

I decided to actually give the ladies out there some valuable information and talk about four people you do need to be concerned with. Also, for men this serves as a guide to evil vagina that you need to stay away from.

The Slutty Single Mom Friend

While I have the utmost respect for single mothers, there are some who have especially casual moral attitudes. Follow the logic on this: you are a woman removed from a relationship. You have to work full time to help support your child or children, when you aren’t at work you are surrounded by said kid(s), so when it is time to let your hair down, you don’t screw around.

I contend that single mothers on the prowl are sluttier than your average everyday girl. If your husband/boyfriend is friends with one or works with one she will be one of the people you need to watch. The thing is, because their life is so hectic , they know what they want and will do what they need to get it. Plus, they don’t get needy and they are usually discreet -- a warm penis is better than a vibrator 67% of the time. (I have no stats to back that last number up, but it sounds good to me.)

His Asian Masseuse

I hate to tell you, but if he goes for a massage once or twice a month, it is a rub and tug. While therapeutic, it isn’t the same thing Hans gives you at the spa.

He goes there for internationally trafficked, sex worker poon… on the cheap too.

A Waitress/Bartender at His Favorite Restaurant/Bar

There isn’t a connection between you and her. With a co-worker or a personal friend, the odds are that you probably know her and talk to her semi-regularly. Unless that co-worker/personal friend is a vindictive bitch that hates you, there is a moral barrier there that might cause her to think twice about sleeping with your man.

But a girl that your man sees a few times a week at lunch has no such barrier. Plus, they only see each other for brief moments, so he totally cannot fuck things up. In reality, he is basically always putting his best foot forward. If he tips well and has some sort of a personality, he might leave a positive impression, which leads to more flirting and eventually a roll in the hay. Hell, I would sleep with anyone that tipped well and was funny… but I am a whore that way.

The Internet Girl

Here is a riddle, "What lives hundreds of miles away in a town your dude visits occasionally for business, has extremely low self esteem, and has plenty of time on her hands?" The slutty girl from the internet that your guy is carrying on an illicit affair with. Go check myspace; there are millions of them.

So there you have it ladies, you shouldn’t let your man on a computer, in a restaurant, in a bar, near a single mom, or within 50 miles of a massage parlor. Have fun living your entire life in fear and always wondering if any of these potential hook ups are out there.

P.S.- If you actually follow any relationship advice on Yahoo.com you should either end your life or become a nun.

What other sub group has the best chance of totally fucking up your relationship?