LABOUR’S manifesto promises to reverse decades of free-market mismanagement and return Tom Baker to his rightful position as Doctor Who.

The leaked manifesto claims the ‘Thatcherite’ Peter Davison era was a ‘betrayal of the working classes’, and that it, and all subsequent incarnations, would be declared invalid.

Jeremy Corbyn said: “There has only ever been one, true Doctor Who and we all know it.

“We will restore that Doctor, his jelly babies and his scarf, in adventures of four half-hour episodes where a man-in-a-suit monster is revealed only at the very end of the first.

“There will be regular battles with the Daleks and none of this modern focus on the ramifications of time travel.”

43-year-old Nathan Muir said: “I’ve been a free-market Tory all my voting life, but God help me, the man’s right.

“If he pledges to bring the cute Romana back as well it’s going to be a landslide.”