Facebook Quotes

Facebook, what book? Slutbook? They need to call this F-ckbook. Picture looking good, but in person. Yuckbook. Hellbook, Tellbook, bitches can’t Spellbook. Hate behind your back, but in person wish you Wellbook. Glitchbook, Snitchbook, Fake Family Listbook. Posting on her page, stealing your Bitchbook. Rudebook, Feudbook, tell your every Movebook. Don’t ever need T.V. sh-t is here – Newsbook. Quotebook.

At Facebook’s 10th birthday they went from starting with 3 people in a college dorm to 1.23 billion users worldwide. Mark Zuckerberg, Facebook’s 29-year-old CEO is hiring more and more editors in 2014 to promote the most interesting content, harking back to newspapers themselves. But don’t worry. We did all that work for you. Find here 60 of the most hilarious sayings and quotes for Facebook. These Quotes for Facebook with images include love, life, friendship, work, school and dirty Facebook Quotes and Status updates.

Quotes for Facebook about Life and Love with Pictures

1. Don’t Facebook your problems. Face THEM.

2. Pulling out a winter coat and going through the pockets to find out who I was 8 months ago.

3. How many times can you celebrate a 21st birthday before people catch on?

4. I’ve probably wasted a solid year of my life just staring into the fridge.

5. The best nicknames are usually the ones people don’t know they have.

6. I wouldn’t need Facebook if there was a website that just told me whether or not my exes got fat.

7. If you don’t do stupid things while you’re young, you’ll have nothing to smile about when you’re old.

8. If you want something you’ve never had, you have to do something you’ve never done.

9. A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.

10. That awkward moment when someone *Likes* One of your Very old Facebook statuses and you think “Creeper”.

11. Thanks for the birthday wishes from everyone who noticed my name today in the upper right corner of your Facebook page.

12. I used to play sports a lot. Until, recently I realised that trophies are much cheaper than I ever imagined they were. You know what, now I’m good at everything.

13. Life is 10% of what happens to you and 90% of how you respond to it.

14. Everyone wants happiness, no one wants pain, but you can’t make a rainbow, without a little rain.

15. The best feature of the iPhone is the feature that keeps you from getting pushed in the pool.

16. I want to make my name on Facebook “Nobody” so when I see someone post something stupid I can Like It, and it will say “Nobody Likes This”.

17. Thanks for posting another selfie. I completely forgot what you looked like 24 hours ago.

18. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of bills.

19. I always learn from mistake of others who take my advice.

20. Facebook should have a limit on how many times a relationship status can be changed. After 3 times it should change by default to unstable.

21. Some people need to realise that Facebook is a social network, not a diary.

22. Some people should consider having multiple Facebook accounts to go along with their multiple personalities.

23. Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won’t expect it back.

24. I’m so thankful for Facebook. Otherwise I have to tell 869 people I just ate breakfast!

25. My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I’m thinking about getting her a treadmill.

26. Oh, you’re popular on Facebook? That’s cool. I mean, these days it’s easy to have 1,500 friends that you’ve never met before.

27. Ever been completely out of toilet paper that you send your kid next door to get some? Me neither, I just like to embarrass my kid.

28. The downside to posting jokes all the time is that if I posted “Help, I am in prison” everyone would be like “haha good one”.

29. Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life.

30. The best feature of the iPhone is the feature that keeps you from getting pushed in the pool.

31. Roses are red, Facebook is blue. No mutual friends. Who the fuck are you?

32. We all have that one skinny friend that eats more than fat person.

33. Dance like the photos not being tagged. Love like you’ve never been unfriended. Sing like nobody’s following. Share like you care. And do it all like it won’t end up on Youtube!

34. Ever work out and think “wow I really needed that”? That’s how I feel about the chocolate chip cookie I just ate.

35. C.L.A.S.S- come late and start sleeping.

36. Facebook is the only place where it’s acceptable to talk to a wall.

37. There are two types of human beings found on Facebook. One who gets enormous amount of likes and comments on their posts. And the others are men.

38. When a woman says WHAT? Its not because she didn’t hear you. She’s giving you a chance to change what you said.

39. During my prostate exam I asked the doctor, “where should I put my pants”? “Over there by mine”, was not the answer I was expecting.

40. The difference between school and life? In school, you’re taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you’re given a test that teaches you a lesson.

41. Facebook is like a jail. You sit around, waste time, have a profile picture, write on walls and get poked by guys you don’t really know.

42. 90% of the time I say `BRB` it just means I don`t want to talk to you anymore.

43. Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.

44. I could be a morning person if morning happened after 11.

45. I’m glad it’s finally hot enough to complain about how hot it is.

46. May your life someday as AWESOME as you pretend it is on Facebook.

47. A relationship should be between two people, not the whole world.

48. A celebrity is someone who works hard all his life to become known and then wears dark glasses to avoid being recognised.

49. Got caught up in a really good book last night. I didn’t stop coloring till 2 o’clock this morning.

50. Friendship is so weird… you just pick a human you’ve met and you’re like “yup I like this one” and you just do stuff with them.

51. Quitting Quotes for Facebook is the new, adult version of running away from home. We all know you’re doing it for attention and we all know that you’ll be back.

52. I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.

53. There is only one person you spend your whole life with, and that is yourself. If you aren’t ok with you, there is an issue.

54. My Retirement Plan hinges on having at least one successful kid.

55. It’s funny how you can do nice things for people all the time, and they never notice. But once you make one mistake, it’s never forgotten.

56. Facebook is like a fridge. When you’re bored you keep opening and closing it every few minutes to see if there’s anything good in it.

57. I’ve been using Google for 10 years and I have no idea who uses the “I’m Feeling Lucky” button.

58. Do you want to make money from Facebook? It’s easy. Just go to your Account Setting, Deactivate your account, and Go To Work!

59. When people ask me if I use plz because it’s shorter than please. I tell them no because it’s shorter than yes.

60. You can never make the same mistake twice, because the second time you make it, its not a mistake, its a choice.

More Quotes for Facebook

Facebook now has as many users as there are people in China with a profit of more than $1bn. The most-connected age group were Facebook users between 18 and 24 years, with an average of 649 friends who loved ro ride their electric skateboard. Let these witty Quotes for Facebook be a source of inspiration for you to keep that wall bright and interesting. Or send them as a birthday card to your best friends. Can’t get enough of these Quotes for Facebook, check out these Epic Quotes or the most awesome Charles Bukowski Quotes ever. For on Facebook. Or not.