Amid reports of unqualified pilots, fiery explosions, and thousands of fatalities this year alone, the International Civil Aviation Organization (ICAO) has grounded the entire Targaryen Airlines fleet effective immediately.

The airline’s latest controversy involved several Targaryen aircraft flying in extremely hazardous conditions with utter disregard for passengers’ safety. Witnesses reported that several of the aircraft involved had not only attacked targets on the ground, but had also deliberately rammed other transport vessels in mid air. In response, an ICAO spokesperson told The Tragic Traveller her organization had no choice but to immediately revoke Targaryen Airlines’ global aviation licence.

“Under no circumstances whatsoever should anybody fly with Targaryen Airlines,” the spokesperson said. “These aircraft are absolute death machines. Last month, four of our inspectors were burnt to a crisp before they even managed to board.”

She went on to accuse the company’s CEO, Daenerys Targaryen, of showing complete contempt for all international aviation regulations. According to the spokesperson, Daenerys was guilty of regularly flying her aircraft far too close to the ground, straying wildly off defined flight paths, and entering the Northern No-Fly Zone, where one of the fleet was shot down in 2017.

“Every once in a while these aircraft emit an enormous jet of white-hot flame,” the spokesperson said. “There’s no pre-flight safety demonstration; the pilot just tells passengers to hold on for their lives. And don’t get me started on the lack of seatbelts!”

Shortly before publication, The Tragic Traveller’s call with the ICAO spokesperson was cut short. Our correspondent heard a loud whooshing sound followed by a blood-curdling scream, then silence.

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