Document #3049-01: Discovery log

Field operative: Agent Rembrandt Anderson

Subject: Mrs. ████ Taylor

<Begin Log>

Agent Anderson: Afternoon, Mrs. Taylor.

Mrs. Taylor: To you too, Mr… Anderson, is it? Mind if I call you Rembrandt?

Agent Anderson: Yes, that's correct, and I don't mind at all. May I come in?

Mrs. Taylor: Oh, of course, dearie. Let me take you to the kitchen, where the oven is.

[Anderson enters the household.]

Agent Anderson: Please, lead the way. I understand that you've been having issues with this device not functioning as intended?

Mrs. Taylor: Yes, I certainly have! I swear, that hooligan grandson of mine and his delinquent friends must have done this to my oven as some practical joke. I think they installed a screen and a… a secret compartment of some sort. But my eyes aren't so good anymore, so it's rather difficult for me to tell.

Agent Anderson: What exactly is it that the oven does which seems unusual?

Mrs. Taylor: Well, you see… I always let it preheat before I bake… But recently, after I do that, the door gets stuck and I can't turn it off until it's done playing.

[Anderson and the subject arrive in the kitchen.]

Agent Anderson: Until what's done playing?

Mrs. Taylor: One of those outer space documentaries with all the new-fangled special effects. It plays in this glass door right here… Oh, just let me turn it on and show you, John.

Agent Anderson: My name isn't— well, nevermind. Go ahea — Oh. Wow.

[SCP-3049 enters its active state.]



Mrs. Taylor: You see what I mean, darling? I can only bake without preheating now, with whatever they've done to my oven.

Agent Anderson: Yes, I see what you mean. Don't worry, Mrs. Taylor, the company will replace your oven right away. I promise you won't even know it's missing.

Mrs. Taylor: Thank you, Kevin.

Agent Anderson: I'm just doing my job. Now, if you wouldn't mind, could you step out of the shot so I can take some pictures of the malfunctioning device? For insurance purposes, you understand.

Mrs. Taylor: Oh, no problem at all. Excuse me…

[The subject exits the kitchen and moves toward the dining room. Anderson uses his phone to take several photos of SCP-3049 in its active state. The subject returns while carrying pastry.]

Mrs. Taylor: Would you like some apple pie, darling?

Agent Anderson: Oh no, I couldn't.

Mrs. Taylor: Please have some, Jacob dear. I can be rather absent minded while baking. I swear I have twice the amount that I know what to do with.

[Anderson takes a slice of apple pie.]

Agent Anderson: Thank you, ma'am… Mm, this is some good pie! Any chance I could get a little bit to go? I bet the installation guys'll clean you all outta this product when they get here. You're a great baker.

Mrs. Taylor: Thank you! You're such a sweetheart, Brian. Let me get you the rest of the dish — you can keep the whole thing. I don't usually like to bake in glass pans, and I doubt whoever gave me this one would mind a bit of re-gifting.

<End Log>

Closing Statement: SCP-3049 was recovered from Mrs. Taylor's suburban home without incident. The subject's oven was replaced with a non-anomalous version of identical make. Low-grade amnestics were successfully administered.