Gyro and Berry Dreams Spoil: Defenders of Equestria

I am merely stating the facts, my dear. We are as well loved as you are intoxicatingly exquisite.

You certainly know how to make a girl feel special even after all these years, hun.

Indeed. And while I would love nothing more to sit here and compose poems about your exceptional grace, we do have a job to do. And today we have something particularly special for everypony.

That’s right, everypony! For the first time ever, we’ve been given spoilers to share with you all!.

Yes, it is quite the honor. We have waited years to be granted such an outstanding privilege. And I do not intend to waste the opportunity. Shall we proceed with the first of our spoilers, my dear?

Sure thing, hun. Let me just open this up and…

Oh, of course.

Is something wrong, my dear?

Maybe you should have a look for yourself.

Don’t those two have enough cards by now? Surely after all the work we’ve put into this game for the devs, they should have seen fit by now to make another version of one of us!

Well, they have done a lot as well.

True, but why should they get all the credit while we get nothing?

There is another card…

Perhaps we’re on that one?

I suppose there is. But first let us dissect this one.

“And two others”?!

Was wondering when you’d see that.

This is positively absurd! The wording there implies you can move any card whatsoever! While there are certainly rules for moving Troublemakers, how does one move a resource? Or a problem?

It’s possible this isn’t the final version of the card…

But even if it’s supposed to be “and two other friends", the power level is rather disgusting. Moving four characters for the price of one? That’s a bit overkill, don’t you think?

Not to mention it doesn’t specify ownership. Is this card really supposed to let you move your opponent’s cards too?

Ugh, I can’t believe they’d print this card.

Actually, once you overlook the oddity of the phrasing “this card and two others,” I find the card to be quite enticing. I’ve got a combo deck that I’ve been fiddling with recently that would love something like this. Perhaps this is the missing component that shall truly make that deck sing.

Especially since if you move something else with 2 or less power, you will be allowed to move this card again as well. Which will, of course, continue the cycle endlessly

Oh, just what we need. A ridiculously overpowered aggro card that’s also an insane combo tool. I refuse to believe this.

I, for one, look forward to crushing my opponents on the back of this card.

Despite the somewhat objectionable choice of characters to showcase the art. Hmph.

Let’s just move on. Hopefully the next one will be—

Oh, by the Sun and Moon. You’ve got to be kidding me.

Don’t tell me it is yet another card featuring our rivals.

Worse.

I’m Berry Dreams. Dreams! Is that so hard to remember? Why does everyone confuse me with Berry Punch? I’m a cheerleader and she runs a vineyard. They’re completely different!

Come now, they never did imply that either of these spoilers was supposed to be either of us. Perhaps they simply thought the card was worth showcasing in our little explanation due to its merit as a strong and useful card?

I suppose you have a point there. I haven’t actually seen what it does yet.

Let’s check it out!

…You’re kidding. All of them? For one Action Token?

Ah! What a potent effect! I can see many a control deck that would simply love this card.

In fact, I might include it in my combo deck as well. 1 AT to ensure the only power my opponent has to meet cost requirements of immediate events is their Mane? How exceptional. Not to mention the side effect of removing most annoying friends so my opponent cannot use them against me.

Why yes, I can see immediately why they would choose to highlight such a magnificent card through us. Well done, devs, well done.

The concepts of game balance and a healthy metagame are completely lost on you, aren’t they?

Hmph. Simply because something is powerful does not mean it is unbalanced. And it is not as though these same cards won’t be available to everypony. One’s a common and the other’s an uncommon, after all.

What? There’s no way that can be—

Simply have another look. See? Plain as day. “C" on this one, “U" on that one.

That’s it, I’m done. This is clearly some sort of mistake, or perhaps some huge joke at our expense, and I’m not taking part of it any more.

Oh dear, she truly is upset. Well, since my normally effervescent companion has vacated the premises with the most cantankerous demeanor I have ever seen her possessing, I suppose that’s all for today. Thank you for joining us today.

And I hope you’re all looking forward to these spoilers as much as I am. I believe they shall granted many of us several outstanding victories. Farewell, all.