As I workout, don't eat anything fun, and cry myself back into a shape that somewhat resembles what I should look like, my thoughts turn to the good that can come from baggy clothes. My god, think of what I can smuggle into the movie theater.

I know, "Nothing tastes better than thin!" On the other hand, when you feel like you're starving, everything tastes better than thin. Cardboard. How many calories are in cardboard?

And can you eat three cookies that contain the caloric content of an entire meal, skip the meal, and get away with it? How long does it take for scurvy to kick in?