I long ago gave up on the delusion that anything about me was remotely unique. Instead, I cast this out there as a sort of digital fishing line to find like-bodied individuals. Do you ever find yourself being better when you’ve had no sleep?

Last night I got basically no sleep. Today I taught three classes and had one faculty meeting and, as far as I can tell, all went swimmingly. Of course, this may simply be my sleep deprived brain trying to rationalize the day’s events and positive thoughts require less imagination than horribly negative ones. In that case, this must be what it’s like to be stupid.

I know I sound quite the elitist, but hear me out. I am not saying normally I’m a genius. That’s ridiculous, because no one can verify that until I get my Mensa test scores back. Moreover, who better to judge my lack of genius ability than myself? All I need to do is examine the multiple bumps and bruises I’ve suffered from walking into walls in my own house to know that I’m likely not the smartest person in the world. If I were, what the hell are the rest of you people doing? You must have triage units set up in your laundry rooms.

Having said all that, however, I don’t normally think of myself as stupid. But do stupid people think of themselves as stupid? Sure, we’ve all heard someone say, “I’m stupid at math.” But doesn’t being self aware enough to diagnose such a limitation imply the opposite of stupidity? Isn’t really stupid the person who goes around bragging about their math ability, when surely they’re on the low end of the scale?

This is why I resist any self-congratulatory moments. That’s just stupid sneaking up on me.