To close National Poetry Month, we have 3 poems by high school freakin’ freshman Jacob Beardsley. The same week we publish Ellen Hopkins. That’s YARN in a nutshell. Enjoy, and thanks for reading!

torn from the back of my probstat notebook

2000 two thousand students

/2 divided by

↓ two genders

1000 divided by

/2 two grades that I

↓ would consider dating

500 times the odds that

x.05 a guy is

↓ a guy-who-likes-guys

25 (remembering to

-1 subtract

↓ myself)

24 multiply by

x.1 the odds that

↓ Mr. guy-who-likes guys

2.4 is not an asshole, and is

x.01 my type

↓ times

.024 my luck

x 0 equals

↓ zero.

0





Parental Ideologies

I think that

if I

was ever a parent,

then I

would punish my children

severely

for using soft

versions

of curse words.

kids

Loved kids.

Had kids.

Kids suck.





Jacob Beardsley is a fourteen-year-old who lives in Virginia Beach, Virginia, and does not have a boyfriend. He is a freshman at Tallwood High School, and once he graduates he plans to major in English and pursue a career as a novelist.