It’s really hard to find the perfect gift for a complete stranger. It’s also really, really nerve-racking waiting to find out if they like it or not.

And when they do . . . it’s AWESOME.

But when they seemingly care about your gift so little that they don’t even post at all, well . . . The gif on the right about sums it up. A lot of our participants actually get more upset by a giftee who doesn’t post to the gallery after they sent a gift than by a santa who didn’t send them a gift. And it can be absolutely heartbreaking when your giftee does finally post but doesn’t seem to really like the gift you were sure would make them squee with delight.

There are lots of guides on how to write a good thank you note, but writing a public thank you in internet format for an internet stranger-friend who has just stalked you intimately and done their best to find the perfect gift for you requires an extra special kind of thanks that as of yet has not been addressed. So this, friends, is our guide to being a good giftee.

1. Explain why this gift is meaningful or a good fit for you.

Tell us that this hospital LEGO set has been on your wishlist since you were three years old and you didn't even know they could be found anymore and you cried when you received it. Tell us exactly why a lamp, a men's ring, and a sci-fi book add up to "the most thoughtful, personal, and useful gift I have ever received" that is "capable of significantly changing my life for the better."

Just think about the difference if /u/calyx13 had only posted "got a mug with some pictures of my kids on it" instead of explaining "It also has the quote 'I love you too Mama' from my 4-year-old son Luke on it. This would not be quotable to most parents, but Luke has autism and made this comment in response to me touching his cheek (without me speaking or verbally prompting him). This was an incredibly poignant and special moment for me as his mom and I posted about it in r/autism to share with other parents and caregivers of a child with autism. . . . When I saw the mug I immediately started crying."

2. Explain how this product will improve your life/be used.

It's always nice to know someone actually likes your gift enough to use it. That you found a gift your giftee didn't just smile at and then set in a corner to be forgotten about, but that you found something so awesome it in some small way forever changed their life because they are going to use and enjoy it forever (you know, ish). If someone sent you clothing, don't just take a picture of it--take a picture wearing it, like /u/ActuallyOnTheRadio did for his DC Comics exchange.

/u/mydogfarted got Bento boxes for his kids in the lunchbox exchange and explained, "my girls absolutely love them and wanted a lunch packed in them IMMEDIATELY despite it being bedtime. They even plotted out what they were going to put in each compartment." And /u/okit didn't just take a video explaining how excited he was to use his new cookbooks; he also took a photo of his first iced coffee he had made using his gift! Just as you should try to wear that sweater your mom got you at least once in her presence, it's nice to show your santa their gift in action as well.

3. Give us the play by play.

This post of what Bill Gates sent his match during SS 2013 went viral last year, but it's not necessarily just because of him. What is truly enjoyable about this post is getting to experience the whole thing with the giftee--from the

I thought Bill sounded like a friendly fellow. In fact, I had this whole image of this poor guy named Bill trying to navigate my wishlist full of makeup, nailpolish, glittery things to buy me. Quite frankly I felt bad for this "Bill" since I'm a self identified pain in the ass to shop for.

to

Once again, To me, From Bill. I opened this and it's a man holding a sign. Oh....



wait.



holy shit.



time out.



and then it finally hit me. All the presents I just tore open, the charity, then everything--was from Bill GATES. . . . my jaw hit the EVER LOVING FLOOR.

and finally,

10/10 would receive gift from Bill Gates again.



ps: Sorry for the apple ipad on my wishlist, that was really awkward.

Think about what it would have been like if all she had said was "Got some stuff from Bill Gates, and it was pretty awesome." Even if he had given the exact. same. gift, no one would have thought it was nearly as cool of a gift, and it wouldn't have spread around the internet the way it did. Also, Bill would have been sad at his giftee's reaction to his gift.

This post from this year's book exchange is another great example of sharing the excitement with us by giving us all the play-by-play.

4. Recognize the effort put into the gift and notice details.

Getting all the details of this amazing scavenger hunt /u/rubin0 sent /u/ryanj629 on makes this a great post to read. You get to know exactly what was encompassed in each stage of the scavenger hunt. How boring would it be if ryanj629 had just said "I went on a scavenger hunt and got to eat a flying spaghetti monster and play at an arcade"? Seeing the contents and results of each envelope makes it way more fun.

The wrapping on this gift turns it into something phenomenal, and if you only show the pictures of the gifts after they've all been unwrapped, we're missing out on half the fun, and your Santa's not getting nearly enough credit.

5. Take pictures!

Because seriously, how boring is a post without pictures? Take at least one picture of what you received, please. But the most exciting posts have lots of pictures showing us all the different steps as they discover each new product, examine details, etc. This post from the very first Secret Santa ever is one of our all-time favorites, and how boring would it be if they had just shown the very last picture of what they got and hadn't gone through all the fun of documenting shark surgery?

6. Show your enthusiasm, get a little creative, and have fun!

If you loved your gift, please, explain just how very much you loved it. Explain exactly why and what you like about it. This post is basically the embodiment of all the most excitingest happiness about a gift ever.

Here are a whole bunch of ridiculously awesome gift posts we love. These all go above and beyond the call of awesomeness, so don't feel like you have to live up to them, but do feel free to be inspired by them!

That time the LEGO gift exchange went camping and shit got a little weird

That time a Hogwarts Professor participated in the Harry Potter gift exchange for muggle studies and then made a documentary about it

That time a redditor had many adventures with his Rammus plushie

That time when /u/trueSADCAT made an amazing comic strip about her Secret Santa experience

That time when /u/SDmusic felt guilty about being in Southern California while his SS was stuck in the "Snow-mageddon" and tried to sympathize

That time when /u/Camedia took Mr. Stay Puft camping

Obviously, these are all great gifts. But what happens if you really didn't like the gift? Most of the above still applies. Explain how this gift fits you (it's Game of Thrones artwork, and even if you didn't really want a Game of Thrones poster set for your room, you did mention liking Game of Thrones). Still be polite and recognize the effort that was put into it. It is really hard to find the perfect gift, as we all know, and your Santa is doing what they can with the information they were given. We all do our best, and even if your santa falls a little short, we're still glad they tried and helped to spread the fun of gifting to strangers all around the world.