Listen up, Nintendo fanboys, because do we have news for you! Do you own a Switch and have an Amazon Prime subscription? You do? Well, well, well, look at you, Mr. Moneybags.


Sure must be nice to be such a high roller that you can afford both Nintendo’s latest console and a $119 Amazon Prime yearly membership fee. But guess what, Lord Caviar? The rest of us peasants have to work for a living. We don’t get to just snap our fingers and have our manservants buy us any console that our greedy little millionaire mind can imagine.

In fact, most of us will probably have to spend years pinching pennies to ever hope to purchase a Switch. Clearly, though, you’re already set for life. Must be pretty nice kicking back, counting your cash, and sipping on a fine vintage of Château Lafite while knowing that you have both Nintendo’s popular next-gen console and a service that offers free shipping on thousands of items.


Yeah, must be real nice.

You know, you’re kind of a bastard for rubbing your wealth in the faces of gamers everywhere like this. Honestly, if we had a bit more of a spine, we might tell you what we really think about you. But we know you would just use your team of high-powered attorneys to crush us and every other gamer who stands up to plutocrats like you. So, laugh it up with the rest of the well-to-do dukes and duchesses out there who get to enjoy both a Nintendo Switch and free Amazon shipping on all games. In fact, maybe you can order some more gold houses while you’re at it, you son of a bitch.