CLANCY OVERELL | Editor | CONTACT

With Australians now facing imminent shut down of all non-essential services and schools, it seems gyms and personal training was one of the first industries to be struck from the list.

Group fitness joins pubs, cinemas and churches as non-essential industries that were closed across Australia from noon yesterday to stem the spread of the coronavirus.

The Prime Minister says the closure of more types of businesses could follow if Australians continue to act irresponsibly by disembarking cruise ships in the middle of the CBD, or doing any number of things that no one has told us to not do because this country is currently lacking any form of leadership.

However, in the midst of a nation staring down the barrel of spending several months in indoors – a small number of online industries are beginning to boom.

Namely, the home-fitness sector – which is blown up overnight as thousands of Australians realise they don’t own a treadmill or kettle bells.

Around the country, thousands of recently paroled high security prisoners are having money thrown at them by Australians who demand to know their secrets.

We spoke to one of these solitary fitness professionals via a phone call to his burner earlier.

Corey Kambouris – also known as ‘Ghost’ – was a guest at her majesty’s pleasure for nearly 13 years after a bungled servo robbery in Betoota Ponds in his late teens.

After struggling to reintegrate into society through paid work, he has kept his head above water by continuing down this path of criminality since release.

That was until a couple days ago.

With the doubling of the Newstart allowance and Australia’s sudden need for prison fitness regimes, Ghost is now climbing his way out of the cycle.

For just $50 dollars a week, self-isolating Australians can tune into Ghost’s live stream work out classes, which focus heavily on aerobic exercise and core strength.

“I spent a lot of time in a small room” says Ghost.

“You can do a lot with a concrete floor and a concrete wall”

As Ghost’s website outlines, perhaps unnecessarily, by the end of his two month quarantine program, his clients should be strong enough to kill a rival gang member with their bare hands while completely nude during a prison fight in the showers.

He also offers premium programs for those looking to build the flexibility to invert their shoulder blades while handcuffed from behind.

“Making so much coin hey” says Ghost.

“More money in this shit than any servo till I ran through”

MORE TO COME.