Now, I know what you’re all thinking: The Battle for Mewni was pretty great-and it was! But what a lot of people don’t know is that the Battle for Mewni was originally conceived as a musical! Fortunately, the musical accompaniment still exists, and through arduous work I’ve been able to stitch together a convincing simile of one of the most important scenes as originally envisioned: La Resistance



(This is without a doubt the most work I’ve ever put into an exceedingly dumb and inappropriate joke, fair warning)



(Be sure to listen along for maximum ‘enjoyment’ (Warning-NSFW))

[RUBERIOT]

God has smiled upon you this day.

The fate of a nation, in your hands!

And blessed be the children, who fight with all our bravery

‘Til only the righteous stand.

[RUBERIOT]

You see the distant flames,

They bellow in the night!

You fight in all our names, for what we know is right.

And when you all get shot,

And cannot carry on

Though you die, La Resistance lives on!

[ALL:]

You may get stabbed in the head

With a dagger or a sword.

You may be burned to death,

Or skinned alive, or worse.

But when they torture you

You will feel no need to run For,

Though you die, La Resistance lives on!

[CROWD:]

Blame the Butterflies!

Blame the Butterflies!

[LUDO:]

Because the country’s gone awry

Tomorrow night, those freaks will fry!

[CHOIR:]

Tomorrow night,

Our lives will change!

Tomorrow night,

We’ll be entertained!

An execution,

What a sight!

Tomorrow night!

[TOFFEE:]

Up there there is so much room,

Where babies burp and flowers bloom

Tomorrow night up there is doomed,

And so I will be going soon!

[MARCO AND KING RIVER:]

Shut your [CENSORED] face, Uncle [CENSORED]!

You’re a [CENSORED]-biting [CENSORED], Uncle [CENSORED]!

[MARCO:]

Looks like we may be out of luck!

[RIVER:]

Tomorrow night, we’re pretty [CENSORED]!

[STAR:]

Why did Toffee start this war?

What the [CENSORED] is his finger for?

When did this song become a marathon?

[TOFFEE:]

I want to be,

Up,

Theeeere,

[LUDO:]

When the Butterflies are dead and gone

There’ll be no more Celine Dion!

[LA RESISTANCE:]

They may cut your [CENSORED] in half,

And serve it to a pig

And though it hurts, you’ll laugh

And dance a [CENSORED]less jig.

But that’s the way it goes,

In war you’re shat upon!

Though we die,

La Resistance,

Lives oooooonnnnn!

[TOFFEE:]

I want to be,

Up,

Theeeere!

[CROWD:]

Blame the Butterflies!

Blame the Butterflies!

Blame the Butterflies!