“I, Anya, promise to love you, to cherish you, to honor you, ah, but NOT to obey you, of course, because that's anachronistic and misogynistic and who you do you think you are, like a sea captain o-or something?”

Why You'll Cry: SHE’S STOOD UP AT THE ALTAR BECAUSE NOTHING HAPPY CAN EVER HAPPEN TO THESE CHARACTERS EVER.

How Long It’ll take You To Recover: A solid 48 hours. But you still won't ever fully forgive Xander.