You probably know Sean Parker as the guy Justin Timberlake played in The Social Network. Remember him? He helped make Napster and was a huge dick to Spider-Man.

Anyway, to demonstrate that he has zero interest in distancing himself from that douchetastic image, Parker got married last week in an elaborate Lord of the Rings-style enchanted forest wedding of his own design that cost more money than any of us will ever even see.

The wedding ended up illegally trampling a national park in the process, proving once and for all that fairy tales only come true for the tooliest toolbags in the Tooliverse. Here are the sordid details.

Mark Seliger

All hail the Duke and Duchess of Douchton Abbey.