Why this is wrong: Good news! It's not just common human decency to pay attention to someone – it also works as an aphrodisiac for the speaker! Perhaps that's why politicians frequently get caught up in sex scandals: giving regular speeches to captive audiences must mean they are horny all the time. Just think about that next time George Osborne talks about the deficit.

What you should do instead: If you want a positive response, be attentive, but also interactive. Communication between two people should be mutual, not one-sided. Oh, and just so you know: the "female equivalent of beer" is "beer".