What are you doing looking up inappropriate puns? And at work! Well some of these aren’t work friendly, but they will surely give you a laugh!

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

I’m trying to finish writing a script for a porno movie, but there are just too many holes in the plot.

Q: How is a woman like a road? A: They both have manholes.

Q: What should you do if you come across an elephant? A: Apologize and wipe it off.

Enough of the gay jokes… cum on guys.

My wife wanted to make a joke about domestic violence, but I beat her to it

Q: What do you call someone masturbating into open water? A: Free Willy…

Q: What do you can an incestuous nephew? A: An aunt-eater

Oh cramps…. You bloody bitch.

What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? Better hold onto your nuts because this is no ordinary blowjob.

I used to be in to S&M, bestiality and necrophilia…But then I realized I was just beating a dead horse.

My friend met a male porno actor the other day. She told me he was really cocky.

Q: What do you call a guy who cries when he masturbates? A: A tearjerker

Q: Why is a snowman always smiling? A: Because he knows the snowblower is coming

A hole was found in the wall of a nudist camp. The police are looking into it.

My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead.

Q: What do you call a gay Jew? A: A Heblew

Anal sex makes your hole weak.

What’s a horny pirate’s worst nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty.

Q: What does an 80 year old woman taste like? A: Depends

Why did the condom fly across the room? Because it was pissed off.

She said she was gonna toss my salad. I said well, you better start undressing…

Popeye keeps his dick soft with Olive Oil

A friend told me how she was molested as a child…very touching story.

Why men’s voice is louder than women? Men have an antenna.

Sodomy puns are sexual in ur endo.

Those are the whitest teeth I’ve cum across

Rough sex isn’t all it’s choked up to be.

A soldier suffered from premature ejaculation. He got a dishonorable discharge.

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Love is like a machine… sometimes you need a good screw to fix it.

Isn’t it scary that doctors call what they do “practice”?

Molestation is a touchy subject.

If you jingle my bells ill promise you a white Christmas.

Man walks up to 3 nuns and flashes them. The first nun had a stroke, the second nun had a stroke, and the third nun doesn’t even touch him.

Why shouldn’t you have phone sex? Because you might get hearing AIDS.

Q: Where do snowmen go to donate their sperm A: The snowbank

Q: Why was the snowman so brave A: He had big snowballs

Q: Why was the snowman so insecure? A: He had a little carrot

I just finished a script for a porno movie, but it has got too many holes in it.

Q: How does a man take a bubble bath? A: He eats beans for dinner.

Ever had sex while camping? It’s fucking intents.

Q: What is the hardest thing about being a man? A: His penis.

How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? It’s not hard.

Q: What’s 6 foot long, vibrates and turns a small penis into a giant prick? A: A motorcycle.

Q: What does the Bermuda Triangle and blondes have in common? A: They’ve both swallowed a lot of seamen.

Q: Why can’t you play Uno with a Mexican? A: They steal all the green cards.

What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? Acne usually comes on a boys face after he turns 12.

Diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans.

Girls on their periods always ovary act.

Why is Santa’s sack so big? Because he only comes once a year.

Having sex in elevators is wrong on so many levels.

Q: What’s the difference between a tire and 365 used rubbers? A: One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year.

I had sex with a girl in an apple orchard, I came in cider.

Sex on tv can’t hurt unless you fall off.

Did you hear about the blind prostitute? Well, you got to hand it to her.

Whats long and hard and has cum in it? A cucumber.

What does a cow say to bull? Are you always that horn-ny!

Constipation must be a pain in the ass.