Britain is facing a "crisis of masculinity", with rapid economic change warping male identity and encouraging machismo and misogyny, the Labour MP Diane Abbott will claim on Thursday.

The shadow public health minister will say in her speech that unemployment and the economic downturn risks creating a generation of disaffected young men, fuelling homophobia, machismo and misogyny.

She will also say men are failing to discuss the problems they face. "It's all become a bit like the film Fight Club – the first rule of being a man in modern Britain is that you're not allowed to talk about it."

The government must put the aim of full employment at its heart if these problems are to be solved, she believes.

Abbott's words signal a move by Labour to capture the political battleground of the family from the Tories.

It is the first of a number of speeches in which Abbott will address the role of the modern family. It follows comments by Jon Cruddas, the party's policy review chief, who said in May that Labour could offer paid leave for fathers to attend antenatal classes, and also ban advertising aimed at youngsters.

Speaking to the thinktank Demos, Abbott will argue that boys are becoming increasingly isolated from their parents and friends, while grown men are working longer hours, dying of preventable cancers, and taking their own lives.

"This generation no longer asks itself what it means to be a man," she will say.

But she will also challenge the idea that a family unit should have two parents to be able to function in society.

"Let me be clear. I'm not here to talk about 'broken Britain'. I'm not here to do down single-parent families. I am a single mother. I'm not here to place blame on any families, or to try and suggest that one particular family might be in some way better than another."

Consumerism has replaced earning, providing and belonging for many men, according to the MP, giving rise to a culture of "hypermasculinity" – a culture that exaggerates what are perceived as manly qualities in the face of perceived threats.

"At its worst, it's a celebration of heartlessness; a lack of respect for women's autonomy; and the normalisation of homophobia. I fear it's often crude individualism dressed up as modern manhood," she will say.

Pornography has also had a damaging affect upon men, Abbott claims, which has added to the growth of a "Viagra and Jack Daniels" culture.

"Growing numbers of men of all ages [are] turning to the drug by themselves due to performance anxiety, triggered by a host of psychological issues – from our increasingly pornified culture making 'normal' sex seem boring, to financial pressures. It may be a secret, psychological crutch for some men, who are under pressure to meet a pornified expectation," she will say.

Labour policy suggestions are expected to include health campaigns, aimed specifically at men, to tackle obesity, alcohol misuse and poor sexual health, as well as promote father-friendly parenting classes, which would be paid for from existing local government budgets.

Schools would be asked to help youths to explore a less narrow version of masculinity, and encourage parents to talk to their sons about manhood and fatherhood.

Far from yesterday's role models of soldier, miners and farmers, male youths, says Abbott, are part of a "transit generation" left working in services industries they are uncomfortable with, or not working at all.

"Look at many of our young men graduating from university this year," her speech says. "Faced with mass unemployment and often unable to fly the nest they can find themselves locked into a transitional phase at home, or find themselves voluntarily creating an extended adolescence, sometimes resentful of family life."