WENDELL HUSSEY | Cadet |CONTACT

A rapidly ageing farmer has had a moment of Zen this week.

The 34-year-old father of two named Nick Burns said his troubles all went away last night when he remembered that man might be going to Mars.

Needlessly anxious about climate change and the effects it’s had upon his drought-stricken farm, the struggling farmer said he took a moment to think about the good things in life – a strong future economy and the prospect of a man on the planet almost as barren as his block of land right now.

“With the National Disaster Relief Fund rolling in next year, which will probably be too late for me at this rate – I’m stoked that we as a nation are donating $150 million to help contribute to space exploration,” said Burns.

Despite the fact his town is potentially about to run out of water, a commodity pretty handy for those who enjoy living on planet earth, and is currently grappling with an ice epidemic, Burns said he put it all into context today.

“I just sat back and thought about how this drought, which has been as bad as my old man’s ever seen it or worse, is making me needlessly anxious about the state of the climate, and I need to just chill out a bit.”

“At the end of the day, space exploration is what matters to people, so I’m just relieved that this money is going towards a good cause.”