Part I: Guide to Hearts of Iron IV leaders

Deutsches Kaiserreich

le moustache pickelhaube man

Likes: Re-annexing Elsass-Lothringien, bullying France, long dutch beach holidays, moustache pamper clinics, playing earrape German anthems while annexing territories

Dislikes: France, two-front wars, the Maginot line, unpolished headgear

Romania

thicc moustache boy

Before Monarchism: After Monarchism:

Likes: being puppeted by Germany, Monarchist coups, joining the Allies for no reason then capitulating, giving Bessarabia to papa

Dislikes: Being overthrown, losing Transylvania to Hungary, running out of mustache wax

Cap’n Calinescu

Likes: Plunder, Making enemies walk the plank, parrots, telescopes, monocles, unicycles, evil schemes for world domination

Dislikes: Land-lubbers, depth perception, having full 180 degree vision, those meddling kids

Calinescu’s piracy theme:

Dominion of Canada



generic apology man

Likes: Hockey, demanding patriation from Britain then doing absolutely nothing, shovelling show, befriending moose

Dislikes: France, poor quality hockey sticks, enemy leaders who can’t play hockey, punting a small black disc into the back of a net

Australia

outback survival expert

Likes: losing wars to emus, being killed by wildlife, getting beaten up by kangaroos, being burned alive by the sun, koalas, wobble-boards

Dislikes: living in an actually safe and danger-free country, spiders smaller than a human hand, crocodiles that do not kill people

generic meme australian song:

Bulgaria

tsar boring

likes: being a boring version of the thicc moustache boy, declaring himself neutral out of nowhere, doing absolutely nothing to help the axis when they need it, stealing thicc moustache boy’s moustache wax

dislikes: thicc moustache boy (for having a thiccer moustache), getting raided by Cap’n Calinescu and his pirate gang, being bullied by the Allies and Romania

Mongolia

anadin extra

Likes: Turtle-neck sweaters, cosmetic beauty products, having peachy smooth skin, modelling the latest communist knit-wear, being papa’s emotional support during the hard times

Dislikes: aging, dry skin, wrinkles

British Raj



smug colony man

Likes: being smug, being dashing, colonising natives

Dislikes: France, running out of tea, land that is not colonised

when you see some prime uncolonised land:

Yugoslavia

fresh prince of yugo

Likes: Being annexed by Germany, having war declared on him for no reason, Croatian uprisings, starting his own faction with Romania then getting instantly invaded, fresh AF uniforms

dislikes: himself, Tito

TITO

Likes: being an absolute unit, not allying with the Soviet Union, polished epaulettes

Dislikes: the capitalists, papa, fun, the fresh prince of yugo, you

Iran

the pahlavio bros bro #1

Likes: collecting coins (by selling oil), eating one-up mushrooms (purchased with oil money) and rescuing princesses, occasionally reinstating the persian empire

Dislikes: turtles, spikes, evil plants, the Tudeh party (and their silly leader Soleyman)

Pahlavio bros views on abortion:

Part 1 – Guide to Hearts of Iron IV leaders