by: Jake Ring

“Rebound taken by Night King, Night King to White Walker back to Night King up for the layup, Oh blocked by Stark, Arya Stark with the rejection.” – Mike Breen

What a fucking episode. This season has yet to disappoint. And coming off of an Avengers: Endgame weekend, this episode put the cherry on top of an incredible weekend in entertainment.



RIP Dothraki. The most badass army on the planet was literally eaten by the wights. Nice try Red Woman.



Jaime’s still got it. “Left hand, right hand, no hand, don’t matter, Lannisters in 4.” Him and Brienne definitely going to fuck by the end of this series.



I think this episode proved that dragon battles are better than space battles. Am I right? (Both dragons are alive btw, it was confirmed.)



Beric giving his life for Ayra really got me in the feels, right then and there I knew Ayra was the key to the NK’s demise. “He has fulfilled his duty.”



I really thought Jon was dead when the NK brought everyone back to life, then, being the badass that he is, fought off like 100 wights until Dany came and torched the rest of them. (Huge parallel between this scene and when Jon challenged Ramsay to a 1v1 and Ramsay and the Night King were both scared, little bitches.)



Anyone else catch Jon looking at Sam, his best friend, as he laid in a pile of dead people while getting attacked by wights and just said, “eh, not my problem.” ? Pussy’s changed him.



Jorah, first ballot Friend Zone Hall of Fame. He literally fought for his life to get out of the friend zone. But he never had a chance, that old fart.



Theon, you tried bud. Redemption came to you just as fast as that spear went through your gut.



The white walkers and the Night King are the TV representation of Lebron James and the 2018 Cleveland Cavaliers. The only thing those white walkers did the ENTIRE series was ride horses and die. They are the worst bodyguards of all time. But I guess that’s what you get when you recruit incest babies into your leadership.



Arya Stark. Our little sister, now a fucking badass, killed Death. Was I the only one that screamed “NOT TODAY MOTHER FUCKER” when she pulled the ‘ole dipsy-doo and shoved that dagger went into the Night King. Crazy how she received that dagger from Bran in the exact spot she used it to save him. It’s like he knew or something,

Ghost survived. That’s really all that matters.

Onto Cersei. I’m not sure how much of the army is left in Winterfell, nonetheless, they still have two dragons, Dany, Ayra, and Jon. I think that’s all they need to defeat the afterthought of Cersei. Only thing I’m worried about is Euron’s fleet. But, I have a feeling he is going to see the dragons and be like “Yeahh, Cersei, the pussy was good and all, but I’m out. Deuces.”



After this insane battle, this war with Cersei is like going and taking a test, barely passing, and then having homework that night on a new subject.



Also, what the fuck was Bran doing the entire time? Just being a bird? That helps. You couldn’t have don’t something else? Power has changed you, bro.

Ned Stark can rest easy now that Winter is over.



What does Jon do next? I feel like his life goal is complete and the only thing left for him to do is fuck his aunt and have dragon babies. He doesn’t want that crown. Also, Dany might be the low-key villain, don’t be surprised if Jon turns on her because of her desire for the throne.

RIP to the real ones; Ed, Theon, Jorah, Lady Mormont, Beric, Red Woman, The Dothraki. Cue the Sarah Mclachlan music.

Comment Below on your thoughts on the episode!