I t's hard to imagine that any self-respecting gay man would want to listen to Eminem's frighteningly homophobic music, let alone consider the hostile singer a sex symbol, yet some gay men just can't resist the raging rapper.

Since The Marshall Mathers LP was first released in May of last year, the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation (GLAAD) has been waging an all-out media campaign to raise awareness about the rapper's vicious hate lines. His appearance at the Grammy Awards on Wednesday night in a duet with the opportunistic Elton John was protested by a coalition of the who's who among lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender advocacy groups, including GLAAD; the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network; Parents, Families and Friends of Lesbians and Gays; and The Matthew Shepard Foundation.

Eminem has raised the general hip-hop penchant for violence and queer scapegoating to such outrageous heights that even usually neutral writers, like gossip columnist Liz Smith, have jumped in to criticize his lyrics.

And with reason. After all, this guy is the king of anti-gay vitriol, as these lyrics from his song "Criminal" clearly illustrate: "My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge/That'll stab you in the head whether you're a fag or les/Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-ves/Pants or dress/Hate fags? The answer's yes. ..."

Despite all this, Eminem does have gay fans.

While it is tempting to simply write these guys off as self-hating, their very self-awareness prevents that. A Web site called f***eminem.com by Gay Boy Ric is billed as "the official Web site for young men torn between their desire to have sex with Eminem and their desire to tell Eminem to f*** off as Dido sings in the background."

Gay Boy Ric acknowledges the complexity of the attraction with this comment: "Not since Marky Mark has a pop figure as cute as Eminem blasted onto the pop scene with such a confusing mix of sex appeal, misogyny and rapid-fire homophobia. The difference with Eminem is that he is a genuinely brilliant talent. Even as his lyrics disturb, his music tempts you beyond belief. Within seconds of lyrics that offend, lyrics follow that scream, 'Take me, genius, I'm yours!'"

Some fans, like Mark Connorton, writing in London's Web magazine Insomnia Zine, don't focus on Eminem as a sex symbol so much as a compelling musician with a best-selling album whose homophobia they discount: "Being queer myself, I don't find his record offensive and found the atmosphere at the gig to be one of adolescent naughtiness more than gangsta thuggery."

Others have mocked Eminem while admiring him. Openly gay Scott Thompson, formerly of the Canadian comedy group Kids in the Hall, made a splash this fall with the very funny "Dear Marshall" song parodying Eminem's "Stan," by twisting the perspective from homophobic to homo-positive. Thompson writes that he knows Eminem is "divorcing Kim/ good/ I always thought you looked better with him/ Dre completes you/ in the middle is where he meets you...Everybody says I'm a dope for loving you like I do/ they say you're homophobic/ I say you're not/ sincerely yours, your biggest gay fan, Scott."

In an interview with the LA Times, Thompson discussed his obsession with Eminem and said: "I find his album a cry for help, and the moment I heard it, I couldn't stop thinking about it. I'm just a sucker for damaged goods and rage-aholics."

Part of the attraction may be based on gay fans' hope that Eminem's damage and rage comes from not acknowledging that he's really gay. One glance at the Web reveals a number of postings from fans of rival rap stars who say as much, some claiming to have evidence Eminem is having sex with men. While these claims seem dubious at best, the thought itself may not be totally crazy. Scientific studies have found that more intensely homophobic men showed more sexual arousal viewing homoerotic pornography than non-homophobic men. Everyone knows from common sense and Shakespeare what's up with people who protest too much. And Eminem sure can't seem to stop talking about how much he hates gays.

Singer Boy George, who finds Eminem both talented and offensive, commented on the paranoid quality of Eminem's homophobia in an interview with Wall of Sound: "Everybody is basically bisexual, and whether you're aware of that is irrelevant. The paranoia stems from that innate fear we have inside of us -- rigidly holding on to your sexual and cultural identity. But masturbation is still playing with a penis, even if it's your own, right?"

Eminem's venom targets the entire queer community, his own gay fans included. Dissecting the reasons behind Eminem's homophobia or the attraction some gay fans have for him does not change how damaging his anti-gay lyrics are. Some may argue that musical taste, like sexual desire, is not something easily controlled. But in an age when corporations have such a stranglehold over which musicians are promoted and which are not, that assertion seems at best disingenuous.

Gay Eminem fans may want to think twice about where their musical preference is coming from.

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