Hello, world! Welcome to my first weekly installation of Gadget Thirst Trap, the website edition. Some of you might know that I publish a Snapchat show every Friday under the same name. (Watch it!! Learn how to use Snapchat if you don’t know how yet!!) In it, I show you three gadgets from this past week that’ll make you super thirsty. Confused? Don’t be! Let me show you what I mean. Here are this week’s gadgets that had me begging for a sip of liquid:

These are some sunglasses Paul Miller bought for me. They look like they’re from The Matrix; they have built-in earbuds; they play music from a microSD card; and they record video through a pinhole camera in the front. Is this creepy? Maybe. Do I love them? Yes. I will be wearing them around NYC for aesthetic reasons. I might try to record some video when I’m out with my friends. We’ll see. I’ll also note that so far, THREE people in The Verge’s office now own these. A fourth has expressed interest. These are gonna take off!

Ok next:

A graduate student created these kawaii-inspired household gadgets basically to prove that gadgets can be cute. The toaster sneezes when it’s filled with too many breadcrumbs, and the vacuum poops out its capsule of dust when it needs to be emptied. Look at that adorable defecation:

The bad news is that these were created for a project and aren’t for sale. The good news is that they exist. I feel satisfied knowing someone out there got to experience what seems like pure joy at watching a toaster sneeze and a vacuum poop. I would buy these ASAP if possible, but because I can’t, I guess I’m just going to take a sip of this cool, cool water to quench my thirst.

Alright, last we have the Impossible Project’s Impossible I-1.

Wooooof I want this. It looks cool and old-timey and also prints legit Polaroid photos. It’s also future-fied with Bluetooth and a companion iOS app. The app lets you make camera adjustments, like picking an aperture and setting an exposure time. But while it’s something that I’d love to play around with, the camera itself costs $299, and a eight-pack of film is typically more than $20, so around $2.50 for each shot. That’s hella expensive. Why you making me so thirsty, Impossible Project?

Ok that's it! Hope I got ya thirstin' for more. See you next week.