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WORLDWIDE optimism remains high that America will ‘do the right thing’ during today’s crucial Midterm elections, with most people choosing to ignore the fact that when it comes to this kind of thing, ‘America Gonna America’.

Hopes are high for a ‘blue wave’ which will see the balance of power in the Senate and the House Of Representatives swing back to the Democrats, limiting the damage Donald Trump and the Republican party can do over the next two years, especially among people who seem to think that a lot of Americans aren’t a bunch of right-wing, selfish, xenophobic bible-thumping zealots.

“I mean, surely they can’t go on with a leader who is openly racist, and tells them outright lies on a daily basis” mused one commentator, forgetting that only two years have passed since America went with a leader who is openly racist and tells outright lies on a daily basis.

“Surely Americans will see that reforms to their healthcare and taxes are designed to fuck over the working man and feather the nests of the most wealthy people in the world,” expressed another, again forgetting that Americans seem perfectly happy with reforms to their healthcare and taxes that have fucked them right the fuck over, feathering the nests of the most wealthy people on the plant.

“And surely they can’t believe that…” said another, before being drowned out by a crowd of people in red MAGA hats, firing assault rifles in the air while driving gas-guzzling trucks over the bare feet of migrant children while on the way to the polls to ensure another two years of the world looking at the USA and thinking, ‘what the fuck, lads?’