Good news, bad news, everyone. Good news is, Donald Trump is doing a Mitt Romney campaign event tonight in New York, at the Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum, with Romney running mate Rep. Paul Ryan. Bad news is, it is completely closed to the press. The fact that it is closed to the press seems to indicate that the Romney campaign doesn't want to draw attention to the fact that a beloved and renowned businessman like Donald Trump is endorsing their campaign, for some strange reason.

The event is not technically a fundraiser, because, as Zeke Miller explains, the funds have already been raised. It is a special "finance event" for mega-donors who enjoy being spoken to condescendingly by a ridiculous fraud. Not making it a real fundraiser also gives the Romney campaign an excuse to exclude the press corps, despite the campaign having agreed months ago to allow pool reporters to attend most fundraisers.

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So, sadly, unless some person is taping it, secretly, we may never know the content of the "brief remarks" Trump is expected to give tonight. Will he talk about his many bankrupt casinos, or will he simply babble racist nonsense about the president's college transcripts? Actually, judging by Twitter these last couple of days, Trump's remarks could cover any number of subjects, from how only fat people drink diet soda to the role living in a Trump-branded building plays in the performance of star baseball players.

Trump is still America's most prominent birther, and the Romney campaign is perfectly OK with that, I guess. But not quite OK enough with it to allow outsiders to hear anything he says tonight while speaking with the Republican Party's vice-presidential nominee.