Austin, TX – As he lay on the ground in a fetal position, Ross Oliver was left reeling at work after finding out that Noel Munoz’s wife wouldn’t be attending the company picnic this Saturday. Munoz said that his Lynne Munoz, an Instagram fitness model with over 135,000 followers, would be teaching a yoga class at that time. Munoz also politely but repeatedly refused to tell Oliver where the class would be held.

What little optimism Oliver had was crushed after Munoz denied his suspicions that Lynne’s lack of attendance implied that their marriage had finally gone to ruin. Oliver then insisted on heading home sick due to a case of “heartache”, which he later corrected to “heartburn”, though coworkers remain skeptical.

As of press time, Oliver has liked over 250 posts on Lynne’s Instagram account since leaving work.

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