CALGARY

Money can’t buy you happiness — but you can choose your own misery.

At least you’d think so.

The truth is, most of us will never be able to test a hypothesis that requires an overflowing bank account.

We can only fantasize about endless riches — at least until the coffee break is over and it’s time to return to reality.

But winning a lottery sure sounds like a dream come true. Plenty of dreams, if you spend the cash wisely.

So when a rumour goes around that Calgary’s newest millionaire is twiddling his thumbs, contemplating a return to the daily grind just to alleviate boredom, it seems too far-fetched to be possible.

But according to Darrell Szczerba’s old boss, the $30-million winner of last month’s Lotto Max draw has put the feelers out about possibly returning to work at the concrete restoration company, because he’s at a loss for what else to do with his time.

“A few of the guys who’ve talked to him say he’s contemplating what to do, because he’s just a regular guy who’s used to going to work every day,” said Darryl Burton, owner of Burton General Contracting.

“He was working to top up his retirement fund, so obviously he’s done that, but he’s just a really grounded guy — and so he was asking some of the guys about coming back to work again.”

If it’s more than just idle millionaire musing, that’s a mind-boggling proposition for those of us who didn’t win $30 million in the Feb. 15 draw.

“It was crazy, I just didn’t believe it,” is what Szczerba told the Sun after he and his wife collected the life-altering cheque.

What’s crazy to the rest of us is the idea of returning to work, when the world is your oyster.

Never mind buying a $670,000 Ferrari Enzo or blowing $23 million on Leonardo DiCaprio’s beachfront Malibu home — spending the money on expensive objects isn’t the only path to enlightenment for a guy bored enough to consider working.

Nope. What Calgary’s $30-million-man needs is genuine excitement, the type only a lot of money and plenty of spare time can buy you.

Suggestions? It seems the possibilities are endless.

Try Formula 1 car racing. For just $2,500, our bored millionaire could be flying around the track at Britain’s Brands Hatch race course, having taken lessons with a top racing instructor, leading up to laps in a 600-bhp F1 car capable of 200-mph.

If he enjoys himself enough, there are plenty of ex-F1 cars around for prices just under a million — and if he’s really keen on racing, the state-of-the-art Honda test track in California’s Mojave Desert is currently for sale, for between $10 million and $25 million.

It’s just an idea. He might be more keen to be a passenger, in which case there are other extremes bound to tickle a rich man’s fancy.

For a cool million dollars, the Calgarian and five friends could rent an exclusive spaceflight through Virgin Galactic, which plans to start hurling passengers into space next year, sending them into the zero-gravity zone 110 km above the Earth’s surface.

Below is another option. In recent years, deep sea submarines have become a millionaire’s toy, with trips into ocean trenches and to the wreck of the Titanic costing roughly $60,000 per dive.

Of course, a guy who was happy enough working with concrete might prefer life’s simple pleasures.

Even with $30M in the bank, you can still be a meat-and-potatoes kind of guy — especially when you eat at steak houses like The Old Homestead in New York City, where a 12-oz slab of Japanese Kobe beef costs $350.

And speaking of homesteads, Szczerba could just stay home and bring the entertainment to him.

It’s happened before in Calgary — last August, Elton John played here for a private wedding — and acts as big as the Rolling Stones and Paul McCartney can be hired to do private shows, though Mick and Co. reportedly cost $8 million.

If Calgary’s richest concrete worker still can’t find satisfaction with so many ideas and so much cash, maybe returning to work is the best option.

In the meantime, maybe he can buy a little happiness for the rest of us — $350 steak anyone?

michael.platt@sunmedia.ca