While it may seem that the laws of etiquette only apply to dinner parties and theater outings, a certain decorum should prevail even in a public restroom. Today we illuminate the unspoken (and too often unfollowed) code of conduct for using the bathroom like a gentleman.

Always leave a buffer. If possible, leave a urinal or stall between yourself and other bathroom occupants. No phone calls, period. No eye contact with other patrons. Eyes forward at all times. Keep talking to a minimum. Under no circumstances do you talk to a man while he’s pooping. Always flush. Flush a second time if needed to clear up leftover… stuff. Wash your hands, even if you’re not an employee returning to work.

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Illustrated by Ted Slampyak