This story is full of what the hell.

According to 13WMAZ,

A Macon man was treated at Coliseum Northside hospital Thursday after he accidentally shot himself in the penis. The man was parked at the gas station at about 9:30 p.m. when he attempted to holster his .45. Immediately after the gun went off, he drove to a friend’s house in Lake Wildwood. When he got to the friends house, he took off his pants and saw that he had “shot himself in the penis and that the bullet exited out of his buttocks.” The spent round fell onto the floor.

OK, we have a few things to look at here that make me say, “what the hell?”

First off, I’ll assume this guy was carrying in the appendix position. If not, I’m very curious to see how he shot himself in the penis. However, it’s hard to imagine how he shot himself in the penis with the round exiting out of his buttocks unless the gun was actually pointed at the penis, at an angle.

Second, then he had to drive to a friend’s house to realize he shot himself in the penis? I mean I assume he knew that he shot himself when it happened, but he didn’t realize WHERE he shot himself? I think I would realize what was going on pretty quick. I also don’t think I’d be driving ANYWHERE.

Third, the round fell out of his buttocks when he took his pants off? Were his friends in the room? I wonder what that reaction had to be like.

Fourth, I think this post sets the record for the number of times I’ve written the word penis in an article.