Recently we had the opportunity to speak with a second year Mechatronics student about their experience of losing motivation, and not knowing how to keep moving forwards.

Q: Why don’t you start off by telling me a little about yourself and your experience with Mental Health?

Well, I would consider myself quite fortunate in my experience with mental health. My own run-ins with mental health issues only started fairly recently, though I’ve unfortunately seen people struggling with their own problems since early in high school.

The school I was at tended to be a pressure cooker, particularly through grades 11 and 12. There was pressure from all sides, parents, teachers, school administrators, and even friends, to work ever longer hours in a quest for minor improvements in marks all in the hope of it making a difference in university applications. It was quite nonsensical.

I made it through relatively unscathed, but I was unfortunately one of the few. It seemed that people would sacrifice everything just to eke out that fraction of a percent. Eating well, exercising, sleeping, and socializing were all casualties in the quest for better marks.

It was at this time that I learned how to take care of myself. Most of my self-care habits started in high school. Things like keeping a consistent bedtime, going for runs to release frustration, and taking time for myself to unwind all became ingrained in high school.

Since then there’s been days when I put these habits aside a little bit to meet that deadline or study a little more for that test, but they tend to be the pillars I can come back to when I’m struggling.

It’s been harder this term though. Everyone says that 2A Tron is easy, but that hasn’t been my experience. The content is just starting to get harder, and there’s projects everywhere I look. On top of that motivation for me is probably at an all-time low. It’s been tricky to keep it all together, or at least to give the appearance of that.

Q: Did you want to talk about feeling unmotivated and how that’s played into your term?

Sure. I would say that for me this term has just felt like constant exhaustion. No matter how well I sleep, or how many hours I spend resting, I still feel at the end of my rope every day.

It makes it hard to get anything done. It takes a long time to convince myself to get out of bed each morning. And even when I’m out, I never really stop wanting to curl up under my comforter and just go back to sleep. Even the little things are tough. Some days I have to talk myself into taking a shower, and doing laundry gives me an illogical sense of accomplishment.

That’s just the day to day of it all. Motivation for school work is certainly no better. It takes a lot of energy to walk the three paces across my room to my desk to start working. And even when I do start, motivation disappears pretty quickly. As soon as I hit a question that I can’t immediately see how to solve, that’s pretty much the end of doing work. It’s definitely not a good way to study, but that’s been how this term is going.

I’m still making it through this term, but I’m not quite sure how. I definitely need to pull it together more before finals though.

Q: Do you have any strategies that help you stay on track?

Ummmm. I tend to make deals with myself. Like if you get out of bed and do x number of problems, you can come back to bed and take a nap. It doesn’t always work out since there’s really nobody to make you hold up your end of the deal, but it sometimes gives me enough motivation to get out of bed.

Other than that, sometimes I can guilt myself into action by thinking about all the hours I’ve already wasted doing nothing. If that also doesn’t work, some days I can scare myself into doing work by thinking about the looking deadlines and all the stuff I don’t know.

But to be honest, nothing’s all that effective. Some days are better than others, but on the bad days not a whole lot gets done.

Q: Have you tried something like counselling or MATES?

I’ve been seeing someone in Engineering Counselling since the start of this term. It’s kind of nice to have someone to talk to, but I don’t know that it helps that much. I feel like it’s so ingrained in me to at least give the appearance of having it together that I find it hard to put that away, even when I’m in counselling. It takes a lot for me to take those walls down and really speak honestly to someone. I don’t think I’m there yet with counselling though. I guess it just takes time though, I’m definitely not giving up on counselling or anything.

Q: Are there people you really can speak openly with? And have you found that helps?

Yeah, I have a couple of close friends that I trust enough to let them really see where I’m at. They’re really the only ones who know how rough this term has been.

Being able to be honest is a nice relief from keeping up the façade of still having my life together, so that’s nice. Unfortunately this isn’t really something anyone else can fix. Motivation has to come from within, but having a couple of people around who know where I’m at and can pick up some of the slack a little bit is definitely a relief.

Q: Do you have any advice for other people who are struggling to stay motivated in Engineering?

I wish I had something to say that would fix it all, but if I did then I wouldn’t be struggling. I would just say try to wait it out and keep it together as best as you can. This term I’ve really had to consider my priorities and what I can manage with the little motivation I have. It’s been pretty interesting to see what matters to me and what is superficial and I can let go of. Really I’d recommend that everyone do that. It gives you a lot more clarity on what really matters to you when you have to choose.

Q: On a lighter note, is there a song you’re loving these days?

That’s a hard question. To be completely honest I’ve been listening to a lot more audiobooks than music this term. I like young adult fiction on in the background while I’m working. I find I focus a lot better with a story than just with songs. Also it’s harder to lose track of time which is a good thing for me. If I had to pick a song though, I’d probably say that I’ve been enjoying Hot Air Balloon by Owl City. It’s a little nostalgic and generally an enjoyable song.

If you have a story to share or are interested in being featured on the blog, reach out to one of the Mental Health Awareness Directors, or email us at engsocmha@gmail.com