Yeah, no. As we've mentioned a few times before , the real world occasionally gives rise to murderers so terrifyingly crazy that if we saw them in a horror film, we would instantly write them off as utterly ridiculous B-movie cheese. The following people and their bone-chilling exploits are totally real, and at least three-quarters of them are totally still alive.

Movies and TV shows like Dexter are constantly trying to outdo themselves with over-the-top serial killers (a Hannibal episode featured a killer who turned his victims into musical instruments -- no, really). But real killers are just boring assholes with crippling mental illnesses and no scary gimmicks. Right?

6 Katherine Knight Cooked Her Husband and Tried to Feed Him to His Children

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Katherine Knight had a well-documented history of clownfuck lunacy, beginning when she tried to strangle her first husband to death on their wedding night for daring to only have sex with her three times before falling asleep. When he finally left her, Knight took their infant daughter and dropped her on a stretch of nearby train tracks (the baby was rescued by a hobo), then rampaged through town threatening random strangers with an ax.

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She later went on another rampage, slashing a woman's face and forcing her to drive to a service station, where Knight took a little boy hostage until the police arrived and beat her into submission with brooms, because law enforcement in Australia is apparently hilarious. None of this is the crazy part of her story. WARNING: READ AT YOUR DISCRETION -- HERE IS WHERE THIS ARTICLE TAKES A DETOUR STRAIGHT INTO HELL.

AAP via Canadian CRC

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Knight eventually met a father of three named John Price and they moved in together, despite the fact that Price was well aware of her explosive fits of inexplicable slobbering Looney Tunes rage. Price wound up kicking her out and filed a restraining order against her, telling his co-workers that if he ever failed to show up for work, she had probably killed him. He then gallantly allowed Knight back into his house for sex and fell asleep beside her, which suggests that Price perhaps didn't completely understand how restraining orders are supposed to work. Knight underscored this error by stabbing Price 37 times. When Price didn't show up for work the next day, his co-workers called the police, who showed up at Price's house to discover his skinned, headless body lying on the living room floor.