Kim Kardashian and Kanye West to Sell Naming Rights For Unborn Baby to Highest Bidder 0 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 0 user reviews.

Inspired by athletic stadiums that sell their naming rights to corporations for millions of dollars, reality superstar Kim Kardashian and hip-hop superstar Kanye West have announced they are officially taking offers for the rights to name their unborn baby, following the recent announcement that the couple is expecting a child. Kardashian credits the idea to her unborn baby’s grandmother and self-appointed manager, Kris Jenner, who successfully sold her daughter’s positive pregnancy test yesterday on eBay for $23,485 to a diehard “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” viewer.

“Anyone who has ever watched my reality show or sex tape knows that I would sell my soul to make a dollar,” Kim Kardashian told Hollywood & Swine. “Unfortunately, I’ve been unable to sell my soul, since no one is actually convinced I have one. Selling the naming rights to my baby is the next best thing.”

The first offer received was from Universal Pictures, which offered $250,000 to name the baby “Oblivion” Kardashian-West, which they feel will help promote their big-budget Tom Cruise film “Oblivion,” that opens in April.

“Besides being a cool name for a Tom Cruise movie, Oblivion also means to be forgotten by the public,” said Universal head Ron Meyer. “That’s exactly what most of society hopes happens to the Kardashian family once Kim has her baby.”

The next highest offer was from Brooklyn Nets basketball player Kris Humphries, whom Kim Kardashian is still legally married to until her divorce is finalized later this year. Still bitter from his brief and highly-publicized marriage, Humphries offered $500,000 to name the baby “My-Mother-Was-Still-Married-To-Kris-Humphries-When-I-Was-Conceived” Kardashian-West.

The name rights bidding then climbed to seven figures when Church & Dwight, the company that manufactures the Trojan brand of condoms, offered $1.2 million to call the baby “Use-a-Trojan” Kardashian-West. According to a company spokesperson, landing the baby’s naming rights would be great advertising for the company.

“We’re convinced that by reminding the world that another Kardashian is breeding, it will help sell millions of condoms worldwide,” the spokesperson said.

The highest bid so far has come from an unlikely source, country star Taylor Swift, who is still holding a grudge against Kanye West for hijacking her MTV Video Music Award acceptance speech back in 2009. She offered the couple a staggering $6 million for the right to name the baby “My-Dad-Is-Jealous-Of-Any-Attention-I-Get” Kardashian-West.

In related news, former music and reality star Jessica Simpson has agreed to name her recently announced unborn baby, “Weight Watchers.” The naming rights was part of a legal settlement between Simpson and Weight Watchers, who paid the singer $4 million back in May to be their new spokesperson after losing the weight gained from her first pregnancy, only for Simpson to reveal months later that she will gain the weight all back after getting pregnant again.