I’ve never gone back at anyone about their lines to be honest, because I know they’re being said because either the person doesn’t know how else to approach someone like me, they think they’re being genuinely funny – but not at your awkward expense, or I’m such an anomaly to them and it’s the most obvious (while not original) way to break the ice. It’s rare for me to come across anyone who has a crack at me for my height because, basically, most adults realise they’d come across as a bit of a Muppet if they tried, and it’s usually older people who say the cheesy lines so you give them a bit of a free pass.

If there was a line I would love to use on the rare occasion someone said something annoying, it would be this, said in the most genuine tone possible, in the hope they’d at first not be aware that I was mocking them:

‘I’m 6’11”, but more importantly, how tall are you? I mean, you’re got to be average yeah? And by average I mean really average, like, ‘just like everyone else in the entire world’ average. Seriously, you’ve got to be the same as billions of other people walking around, where absolutely nothing separates you from them. I mean, I’ve got a cousin who I thought was average, but you’re way more average than him. Wow, I can’t wait to get home and tell my kids how I met the most average person ever.

That’d be nice to drop, just once…