I rolled out my bed and rushed to the bathroom. flipping up the toilet bowl cover and began to throw up. Chunks of liquor and food flew out my mouth. Another night of drinking that left me; prayng to the porcelain God. Using the bowl and sink for assistance. I stood up and turned on the light.

Looking at myself in the mirror. I was disgusted at what stood in front of me. Puke was all in my hair. Black circles covered my eyes now. The make up that took an hour doing. Was now running and smeared all over my face.

I had promised myself this wouldn't happen again. Throwing up alone in my apartment. No-one to even pull the hair back from going in the toilet. It was these times that made me hate nights like this. I thought to myself, as I turned on the shower. A figured moved behind me and i spun around.

The guy I brought home and just left in the bed was behind me now. I had totally forgot about him in the bed. Alcohol is one Hell of a drug, I once again thought to myself.

"You ok"

"Yeah I'll be fine. just need to catch a shower"

The man began to pee in the toilet. All the vomit was still in the bowl. It spread around from the constant flow. The man flushed the toilet and went to the sink.

I watched him with hate in my heart. Men were nothing but filthy animals. He didn't even put the seat lid down.

The man was white about five feet nine. I could tell he worked out. he wasn't chiseled but the 6 pack was there. His blonde hair was ruffled up. Mostly likely from sweating and rolling in the bed. His dick wasn't the biggest I've ever had. Yet He knew how to work it though.

I could feel my vagina still throbbing from the pounding. The heat in the bathroom snapped me back to reality. I got in the shower and pulled the shower curtain back. As the hot water touched my skin. I began to let go of the anger.

The man was going to get what was coming soon enough. My head began to spin with deviant thoughts. The thrill of the hunt always made me feel alive. The ambiant's that i slipped him. An hour ago should be almost kicked in. Another pig to the slaughter.

I began to laugh out loud in the shower. As I splashed water on my face to wake myself up. Grabbing the shampoo bottle i squirted some into my hand. Nothing felt better than washing my hair clean. I wasn't sure if it was massaging my scalp or the smell of shampoo.

Stepping out the shower i felt like a new woman. Now it was time to get to business. A sick smile came over my face as I walked into the kitchen. I began to hum a tune that I knew very well. It was the favorite song from my ex boyfriends Billy.

Once I began to sing or hum that tune I knew the ritual had begun. It had been that way since last year. When I found myself covered in blood. Stabbing a man that I had just met at a bar repeatedly. When I finally came to and realized I was stabbing him to the beat of the song.

Was that the start of my obsession with murder? I didn't know and didn't care. What I did know was for every rose I received. My heart was broken for it over and over again. Looking at the vase of roses on the kitchen counter. I had to chuckled as I washed a knife off.

Grabbing a rose out the vase. I smelled it and headed back to the bed room. I tapped the guy in my bed to see if he was awake. He barely moved; he was knocked out cold. I flipped the sheets off him. I pulled some straps up from the edges of the bed.

I strapped the man in first by his hands then by his feet. Making sure they were tight and fully fastened. Lifting the sheets up to make sure the plastic was under it. I went into my closet and grabbed the kit.

The kit was a black medical bag. Which looked like the ones doctors used to use for house visits. Opening it on the floor my excitement began to rise. This was the best part. In a few moments I would have another trophy to add to my collection.

Inside the closet was a thin metal board. One I had got from a scrap yard a few years ago. Durable enough not to get punctured, yet light enough for me to transport. Grabbing it I lifted the man's lifeless body up. Turning him on his side and placed the slab under him.

I went back into the kitchen and filled a pitcher of water. Walking back into my bedroom I went to the dresser. Opening the last draw I grabbed a mouth ball gag. I went back over to the man and placed it in his mouth. He didn't even move still sound asleep.

I took a rose out the vase in the kitchen. Sat it on my nightstand under the lamp. Once I was ready I grabbed it and placed it in the ball gag. I had placed a slit in the gag to hold the roses perfectly. Now one last thing had to be done before the fun started.

I got up and turned on my mp3 player. I looked for my playlist named prey. The first song to come on was Marilyn Manson tainted love. It fit my mood perfectly. His love was mines and I would cherish it.

The song sent a shiver down my spine. It reminded me of the first real man to feel my blade. The first heart I ever ate. The first rose I crushed until the thorns dripped blood. I was ready for the fun to begin.

Turning around from the speakers I began to dance. I knew the man was still asleep and had no idea what was going on. I began to slowly undress myself. Dancing seductively around the bed. Getting into the mood and enjoying the vibe. These were the most precise moments to me.

The time before the electricity shocked me to life. The silence of the night in the dimly lit room. Also played a factor in my ritual. Each element aroused me and sucked me deeper in the fantasy. Now I was completely naked and standing at the edge of my bed.

He loved when I danced for him before we made love. I saw him in the bed watching me. The hunger in his eyes like I was a piece of meat. Just staring at me as I entertained him. I loved the way he watched me. It made me feel as if there was no other girl in the world.

My jet black hair covered my small b cup breast. I just stood staring at the man tied up in my bed. Slowly i ran my hands up and down his body. Gently watching his every twitch and turn. As I walked over to the side of the bed. I grabbed up the pitcher of water

With a gush I threw half the pitcher in his face. The man jumped up from the shock of the cold water. As he looked around and realized his predicament. The man began to fight to free himself. He was gagged but I understand every cuss that came out his house.

Rage filled the man's eyes as he looked at me. I knew what he was thinking and wanted to do. Not this time though, I had the power. I was in control now and forever. He was just going to leave and never call. Now I never needed to worry about the phone call.

I sat on his chest and grabbed the knife off the counter. As I ran it up and down his chest lightly. I gently kissed his chest and licked it. The man's dick began to rise I could feel it poking my vagina. Just like a man, facing death but still ready to get a nut.

As he started to scream and fight. I took the knife and put it close to his neck. Hushing him like an old librarian. As he quieted down I put the knife back on the counter. I slowly climb down to his dick. As I put it in my mouth I could hear him begin to moan.

I looked up and our eyes barely met. As he strained to lift his head. I could feel billys hand pushing my head further on his dick. I began to deep throat this man's dick. Chasing the pleasure I once felt so long ago.

I got up and sucked all the spit up of my face. I crawled up to him and kiss his gagged mouth. The man said something but I just hushed him and put my finger over his mouth. I worked his dick back in between my thighs. I was so wet and his hard dick was the remedy.

As I rode him I screamed billys name. The man said something like you crazy bitch. It snapped me out my trance and I realized it was time. Grabbing the knife off the dresser. I watched his eyes as I plunged the knife into his chest.

All the fight he had slowly died out once I came to. I looked up and caught his eyes. It was no longer anger or shock that filled them. They cried and pleaded for mercy. As he took his last gulps of air.

I was with him and now he would be with me forever. I would never leave or abandon him. I'll cherish him and keep him close. The way your suppose to when you love someone. that is if you truly love that person.

When he finally choked on his own blood and died. I unhooked the gag and placed the rose on my counter. As I stuck my finger in his chest I found his rib cage. It took some effort but I cracked it open. It snapped like a lobster shell.

Inside was my true prize still warm to the touch. The man's heart sat in my hand I could also still feel it beating. Poor thing didn't understand it's disconnected from the system. I got off the bed and looked at him for a second.

A glob of spit flew out my mouth and landed on his face. I loved the money shot just as much as he did. Waking into the kitchen I grabbed a glass jar out the cupboard. Dropping the heart into it I went and opened the freezer.

I always loved to view my collection. Over the past couple of years. I've amassed my own boutique of hearts and roses. Looking at all jars now gave me a slight thrill. I felt it every time I opened the freezer. Each jar had a special memory for me. All I was missing now was billys.

I put the jar in a free spot in the freezer and closed it shut. I keep telling myself after his heart I'll stop. Once i find the courage to find him. I'll teach him for hurting me so much. We could of been happy, married with kids by now.

"Look at what you did too me."

I screamed as I began to cry looking at the man on the slab. The clean up was always the hardest part for me. Actually realizing what I had done. It made me sick to my stomach. Then it brought a rage out of me. That I can't understand where it comes from.

Then I realize it's billys fault not mines. I was the perfect girl to him. Doing every thing that he asked or wanted. I loved him and he just threw me away. Didn't appreciate anything I did or sacrificed for him. every other guy since him has been the same. They want some ass then never call.

Billy will see though what he has done to me. He will feel the pain I've felt over the years. Never returning my calls; treating me like I'm less then a person. I'm not even good enough to even be his friend.

I found myself gripping the knife again when my phone rang. It was Larry right on time as usual. Putting the knife back down I grabbed the rose. Walking to the door I unlocked it and let him in.

Larry was a bit taller then me. He always wore something with plaid. If it wasn't a plaid jacket it was plaid shorts. His blonde hair was never kept. He had a sort of grunge personality. like kurt cobain when he made his second album. I just wished Larry would get more Sun.

His skin was pale kind of sickly looking at times. Other then that Larry was in shape, he had a phsyic made other gym rats admire. As our eyes met I could see his joy. Larry wanted me and I knew it. Him coming here or meeting me places. Wasn't just because he is that nice of a guy.

In another world I would be with him. Maybe in the future I could see myself allowing him in. Now though if i let him have me. Larry would be another heart and rose for my collection. I couldn't even think about that. The thought alone made me sick to my stomach.

Larry stood in the bedroom looking at the man. He always had to admire my work before he cleaned up. It made me wonder what he did with his victims. I knew he had his own collection. Which is why I was happy if I had busted by anyone I was happy it was him.

Taking his book bag off Larry took two duffel bags out of it. Opening one off the duffel bags he took out a machete. Placing it next to the man he took out his clean up uniform next. It was a plastic mask and a black butcher's smock.

Grabbing the machete Larry slammed it down on the mans throat. He grabbed his hair and pulled it. The man looked like a giant pez dispenser. With another strong slash he pulled the head clean off. Larry held the head and looked at it for a minute. Placing it in the open hole in the mans chest.

Larry opened his duffel bag which was lined with plastic. He grabbed the head up and put it inside the bag. I usually hated watching him work. Yet once in a while I did in the corner. Seeing the power he used to dismember a person. Slightly turned me on as I watched. He was so systematic and meticulous in how he handled the body.

It took him about an hour to fully chop the man up. When he was done he closed up the duffel bag. Pulled off his mask and took a deep breath. While he worked I had began to light candles around the apartment. I hated the smell of blood and guts in my apartment. Im sure he enjoyed the lavender smell that filled his nose.

As he picked up the duffel bags and threw them over his shoulder. I walked over and gave him a kiss on his cheek. I loved the way he blushed when I touched him. It was as close to him I would dare myself to get. I thanked him and let him out. Now I had the task now of washing my floor and myself.

I tried not to think about where he took the bodies. It was always our unspoken agreement. I never asked him any questions and he returned the favor. It took me about an hour to bleach and mop up my floor. By the time I hopped in the shower and put my bed back together. The Sun began to rise and I was wore out.

Thankfully I was off until Monday so I could just enjoy the day. Sit and plot for Billy. I was going to find him and make him pay. Then Larry would have me and I him. We will be complete with each other.