What happens when a pair of all-American boys invite a swarthy foreigner to bunk over for the night? You might not have an answer to that question. You might not want to even hear it asked in the first place. But that’s the dilemma our great nation is facing right now and it’s putting our borders at grave risk. So we’re going to explore this shocking topic here today, for America’s sake, whether you have the stomach for it or not.

Threesomes are a decidedly socialist concept. The notion was spawned over two decades ago on the dead-end streets of Old Europe. After the discos closed down for the night, local homosexuals would congregate in darkened alleyways looking for “action.” Due to high rates of inflation, lack of private automobiles and the limited number of adequate dwelling spaces, the gays found traditional “twosomes” economically untenable. In true Marxist-Leninist fashion, the “threesome” came to be accepted as a modern way to distribute the excessive costs of this flamboyant lifestyle choice.

It’s important to point out here that among American gays, the roles of participants are clearly defined. One is the penetrator (“top” in hardcore street slang), while the other is the submissive, the recipient. Because many European men exhibit a dualistic quality (“versatile”), the “socialist threesome” is considered naturally suited to their elaborate mating rituals.

In the early years, the International Gay Agenda played a crucial role in shipping this fad to America’s shores. It was seen as a powerful way to terrorize the Judeo-Christian doctrine of a two-person traditional marriage. Since then, Hollywood, Apple and the Rockefeller Foundation have teamed up to popularize “threesomes” in their pursuit of barrier-busting Hardcore Globalization.

Local sodomite couples use several different methods to attract a third:

1. Presenting the submissive’s supple buttocks to the group (online or at the bar)

2. Offering extravagant cocktails and tall tales of “party favors”

3. Volleyball practice

4. The dance floor bump-bump-grind-grind

5. The “marijuana and massage” maneuver

6. Pleading

7. The “we’re both tops” bait and switch

8. “Grinder,” an Uber-like delivery service

Because American homosexual couples have a fetish for “the other,” close to 82% of domestic threesomes involve a foreign national. The targets here are the exotic ones, those guys with sun-kissed biceps and flowing hair, sultry accents and curious hands.

Yet these alluring aliens can be incredibly dangerous for our national identity. They expose the domestic homosexual population to an ever-escalating series of erogenous techniques (frottage, edging, lumbersexual, power bottoming, furries). These expensive and untested procedures have no place in a country where the missionary position is almost as sacred as the Constitution.

Even more alarming, many of these behaviors are now being observed among heterosexual couples. It is believed that every gay couple contains at least one gossipy member who will disclose graphic details of his copulation experience within the first 12 to 24 hours. Inevitably, a female friend will become envious of these adventures and trick her boyfriend/husband into their own experiments with this socialist trend.

With threesomes skyrocketing in popularity and national reserves dwindling, many of America’s most important “super homosexuals” are publicly demanding that importation quotas be raised. The Gay Agenda has even begun looking to South American countries like Brazil, Chile and Peru. The Philippines is another fertile area for recruitment.

Every single day, a new crop of alien homosexuals arrives at our border ready for deployment in our cities and even in our small towns. They’ve got an arsenal of carnal knowledge and they’re oiled up for nonstop action. Make no doubt about it, they are coming. How long do you think it will be before they’re knocking at YOUR door?