In what sounds like a case of life imitating an improv workshop, the fun-loving anthropomorphic can of Foster's known as Russell Crowe recently told GQ that Michael Jackson used to crank call him. According to Crowe, the two became close not long after L.A. Confidential elevated him to that weird stratum of celebrity where Australian tough guys regularly mingle with developmentally arrested pop singers and talk about their childhoods, and discovered that the two shared a similar sense of humor. Crowe says Jackson used to call and try to convince him he was “in trouble,” saying, “A gruff voice would say something was wrong, then this tiny little voice said, ‘Don't worry. This is Michael.’”

Having long ago established his uneasy relationship with the telephone, Crowe went on to admit that he was no stranger to prank calls himself, having spent some time calling up L.A. Confidential author James Ellroy to leave voice mail messages such as, “Woof-woof, hear the demon dog bark. He's got a 12-inch wanger and it glows in the dark," which we’re going to say eventually became lyrics to a 30 Odd Foot Of Grunts song despite the fact that we’ve never listened to that band. Anyway, we’re optioning this scenario right now for an off-Broadway play in the vein of Picasso At The Lapin Agile, so everybody can just back the fuck off. [HT to Vulture]