ANALYSIS/OPINION:

Julia lives. Everybody is trying to forget Julia, President Obama’s campaign cartoon figure from his 2012 re-election campaign. “The Life of Julia” touted the advantages of cradle-to-grave federal munificence, from universal pre-kindergarten classes for toddlers to Obamacare for everybody. “Julia” might have been called a celebration of womb-to-tomb munificence, except that a shower of contraceptives and abortions under Obamacare would mean that prospective descendants of Julia would never make it out of the womb.

Now Julia is to get a free college education, or at least half of one, under Mr. Obama’s scheme to send everyone to college for two years. If he actually took Econ 101 as a freshman at Occidental College — we don’t know because he won’t release his college transcripts — he surely flunked. One of the first things a freshman learns is the answer to the question fundamental to economics: “How do we satisfy unlimited wants with limited resources?” That’s because, as the distinguished philosopher Mick Jagger explained, “You can’t always get what you want.”

Mr. Obama prefers to pose as magician. “I’m announcing an ambitious plan to bring down the cost of community college tuition in this country,” Mr. Obama said in Tennessee the other day. “I want to bring it down to zero. I want to make it free.” He could not explain how this enormous “gift,” estimated to cost $60 billion over 10 years, would be paid for. He said nothing about offsetting cuts elsewhere in the $4 trillion federal budget. He wouldn’t say that it would mean more IOUs would be piled atop the federal debt, which has grown by more than $7.5 trillion on his watch. Mr. Obama called his scheme “America’s College Promise.” An accurate name would be “America’s College Promissory Note.”

“Students who started at community colleges during those two years, and then go on to a four-year institution essentially get the first half of their bachelor’s degree for free,” the president says. “Two years of college will become as free and universal as high school is today.” Mr. Obama’s scheme for a “free” community college education proposes a cost-sharing arrangement between the federal government and the several states, with the federal government picking up 75 percent of the tab. But with government money always comes government strings, and the irresistible temptation for this administration, and like-minded future administrations, will be to use that leverage to micromanage course offerings, with arbitrary “quality” benchmarks.

Another program must surely follow to cover the cost of books, lab fees, transportation and other education-related expenses, all to keep community college “free.” Left unaddressed by Mr. Obama is what opening the doors of “free” community colleges to millions more students will inevitably mean for the schools’ facilities and staff. “Free” college for everyone will necessarily require more classroom buildings, libraries, cafeterias and gymnasiums, and more professors, administrators and custodians. Will all that become part of Mr. Obama’s recurring call for new “infrastructure” spending? The president didn’t say. We can guess.

The president further wants to increase access to affordable, high-speed broadband across the country. This will be called something like America’s Internet Promise, perhaps with free cyber stamps for the needy. A worthy goal, but somebody has to pay for that, too.

Something else he should have learned in Econ 101 is that “there’s no such thing as a free lunch.” Nor a “free” education, either. The mindless slogan, “If you think education is expensive, try ignorance,” might look good as a sticker on the bumper of a Volvo, but it doesn’t answer the question of how this freebie will be paid for. Neither can Mr. Obama.

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