If New England is upset by Indianapolis in the divisional round of the NFL playoffs Saturday, Patriots coach Bill Belichick won't be smiling in the postgame news conference. If the Patriots defeat the Colts, Belichick most likely won't be smiling.

Belichick has, deservedly, earned a reputation as the game's most savvy head coach—as well as its most crotchety. When the coach is talking to reporters after a game (win or loss), the atmosphere feels more like a presser for an oil spill than a football contest. With this in mind, The Count decided to put on a number on just how grumpy Belichick is after games by using the only available statistic: smiles.

Watching video of every Patriots postgame news conference from this season, we counted seven incidents where Belichick smiled. This study surveyed 114.5 minutes of footage, so he smiles at a rate of once every 16 minutes—and keep in mind this is a season where New England won 12 games and the AFC East title. Here's a smile-by-smile breakdown:

Smile 1: Oct. 13. After beating the Saints in dramatic, come-from-behind fashion, Belichick smiled when he opened the meeting with an apology for forcing the reporters to rewrite their game stories. He then frowned for the next 13 minutes.

Smiles 2 & 3: Oct. 27. What most tickles Belichick's funny bone? Tom Brady's running ability. He smiled twice while talking about his slow-footed quarterback's key 8-yard scramble for a first down in a win over the Dolphins.