TW: fat hate, harassment, anxiety

I’ve always been a big girl and since around my seventeenth birthday I’ve been death fat and totally OK with it. I love food. I have problem exercising because it gives me severe anxiety. I know I’m unhealthy but I’m OK with it, it’s my business only anyway.

Well, the other day I was going to buy a box of chocolate as a birthday gift for my best friend (who is more of a small fat / chubby person). I choose a big box because my friend loves chocolate and I was going to pay for it when the cashier looked at me and said “You’re not buying this”, dead serious. I thought she was joking first so I said “Yes I am” and she was like “I’m not letting you buy this.”

“It’s for a friend” I said, even though I shouldn’t have to say that because I have the right to buy stuff from a grocery store without anyone questioning me.

“Yeah sure, that’s what you all say” she said, or something like it. And she refused to let me buy it.

I could’ve just dropped it and gone to another place if it weren’t for the three or four people behind me in line waiting to pay, who all started laughing. It was so embarrassing I thought I would faint. I started crying on the spot and ran out of the store. I am never going back there. No one defended me when the cashier was being so horrible, instead they LAUGHED.

I’m worried about getting an anxiety or panic attack next time I’m going grocery shopping (at another store of course). Thin privilege is being able to buy a box of chocolate without being ridiculed by not only the cashier but by all the other people in line too. Thin privilege is being comfortable buying sweets.