When I failed to enter the Starleague, people said, “Lim Yohwan has fallen into a slump.” It seemed as though everyone was waiting for the ‘Terran Emperor’ to collapse. But I did not collapse. There cannot be such a thing as slump for me. After living the life of a progamer, I had not once thought of a moment as a slump. Because I could not concentrate during practice and matches, it was obvious that my results were poor. But I do not consider a slump as not being able to concentrate. A slump is when things do not work out, even when one tries his best.



In the past, I almost never saw the matches played by others. It was because even watching the games I needed to watch were unbearable. There are popular strategies even in the game of Starcraft- “It worked when I used that.” Strategies that were well-known among progamers also became popular. Rather than using a risky play, starting with a safe early play and planning towards a quantity-oriented late game was quickly becoming popular. As I continued to lose, I lost my confidence, and without realizing my problems, I began to accustom myself to these popular styles.



With every failure of the initial attacks and continual losses, I thought perhaps changing to a quantity-oriented late-game play might be better. And so I changed the direction of my practices a little. People began to say, “Lim Yohwan’s plays are different than before,” and “His style changed.” These sayings then began to be linked with “Lim Yohwan threw away his own unique style.”



This was a path that I had chosen during my afflicted situation. But the results continued to flow towards a worse direction. I thought it would be the strategy that would help me regain my confidence and end the vicious cycle of defeat, but I continued instead as a losing spectacle. Pushing through with this strategy that others won easily with had instead produced an opposite effect. I even listened to how certain strategies on certain maps were effective, learned another person’s strategy that was not my style, and went out to the matches. But the opponent responded with an even better counter. The problem was not the strategy. The problem lied in my heart.



It was because of my inclination to win no matter what. In the past, I had prepared myself with the desire to carry out an amazing match, whether I won or lost. I had diligently constructed strategies according to my style, and to perfect those strategies I had practiced intensely. But I began to see other players winning and began to copy them. I had forgotten the most important thing, that more important than winning was to control myself and focus. I had forgotten that the results are better when one makes an effort to win according to his own style.



Finding my style again- but it did not seem like everything would be taken care of with that alone. I could not deny that my concentration and controlling my condition was in a mess. Not once able to play and worrying about how to play, there was no way that I could think of game strategies. That concentration I had when I was constructing strategies for 24 hours a day, even in my dreams, where did it go?



Watching the rookie players, I was at times able to discover my old self. The passion towards the game, the resolution one makes to give everything until the day of becoming the greatest progamer, the frightening gaze at the monitor – there were many fierce rookies. I especially felt that their control had gotten a lot better than before. It was not a simple matter of having the quicker hands. It was how well one concentrated, how well one knew the properties of a unit, and how much one practiced to learn those things. Ultimately, the match became a battle between their levels of concentration, a psychological warfare.



The plants inside a greenhouse quickly bloom beautiful flowers. The plants that grow up in the plains, exposed to the wind and the rain, may appear crude and unshapely, but they bloom flowers that have a tenacious survivability. Calm seas cannot raise an experienced sailor, but rough and difficult seas can make a competent sailor. I am exposed to the wind and the rain in the plains, and I am navigating through the rough and difficult seas.



The wind and the rain will stop someday. The rough and difficult seas will soon become calm. And afterwards, it is certain that the brilliant sun will rise. This is just one course of my life that I must overcome, through the wind and rain, and the storm.







