Freshman me: So. The thing is that you’ve spent the past four years locked in your bedroom reading your AP Biology textbook and eating insane amounts of trail mix. You’re going to get to UC Berkeley and unpack and say goodbye to your parents, and then you’re going to go to a party with your new roommate and the people across the hall in your overpriced dorm, and someone is gonna pass you a lukewarm beer, and absolutely no one is going to know or care how “smart” you were in high school, or how many AP classes you took, or how you got a perfect SAT critical reading score or about literally anything else besides how well you can shotgun the aforementioned beer and/or how open you are to the concept of making out in the dark stairwell of the frat house you’re in, and let me tell you, that’s going to feel weird as hell.



Because up until this point, all you’ve really been to anyone is the smart kid. Smart kid with modifiers — in your case, smart Asian kid, or smart queer kid, or smart artsy kid, or smart kid with good eyeliner or smart kid who’s also really nice. Now you’re at Cal, and everyone is the smart Asian queer good-eyeliner nice kid and you’re, like, nobody. Which is scary, because you thought that Cal wanted you because you were the smart Asian queer artsy good-eyeliner nice kid, and now apparently everyone is that kid and they’re better at shotgunning beers than you are, so what are you even doing here? You want to go home, man! This is crazy! Do you even, like, belong here? You’ve made a huge mistake! Jesus Christ, you’re calling your mom, you’re leaving, etc. etc. etc. ad nauseum.



This is gonna be The Big Deal for the next year. After you shotgun the beer (badly) and have a couple more alcoholic interactions and go home dizzy and sleep off your first college-level drunken night out, this whole “If I’m not _____, then who am I?” question is going to keep you very occupied, and it’s gonna lead you into the arms of your beautiful new best friends and that cute poet you met at the open mic and that mess of a boy from Tennessee and you’re gonna make so many mistakes. You’re going to be the biggest and most inexperienced dork and you will get hurt and you will hurt people and there is absolutely no way to avoid this.



That being said, don’t worry about it, seriously. People are going to love you anyway.

In the meantime, you will realize really cool things about yourself and your interests. When you take that mythology course, you will realize how much history fascinates you, and when you go starry-eyed at the poetry slam, you will realize what tender voices and curly hair do to your heart, and when you cry for the first time in front of someone other than your parents, you will realize how much you need someone to hold your hand when you are scared, and when you hug Berkeley’s mascot at Cal Day on a dare, you will realize how much you fucking hate Berkeley’s mascot and his creepy little gloved hands. You will get lost on public transportation. You will fall in love. You will do new things and things you’ve always done, and you will find the best and cleanest bathroom in Dwinelle and hold its location a secret, tight to your chest, like the precious thing it is.

So, freshman me, much is going to happen to you, and you will make it out okay. Actually, you will be more than okay, because you will have grown so much. This letter is a before-and-after picture in a Rogaine infomercial, man; what I’m telling you right here is what your currently bald head is gonna look like when you’ve slathered it in the chemical foam that is the UC Berkeley college freshman experience. You are so scared right now, and that’s cool. As you will begin to start saying, it’s big chillin’. It’s tight. It’s totally fine. If I had any advice, it would be to strap in and keep your eyes open, because the ride is very scary but very fun; you won’t want to miss any of it.



Also, class is important, but it’s not as important as pretty much everything else, at least right now. Take advantage of the mental health services at the Tang Center if you can. Look out for other people. Save developing a coffee addiction for when you really need it. If you’re getting a bad vibe, dip. Don’t wear heavy clothing to frat parties. Tinder is a blessing. Use your Clipper card as often as possible. The world is a big place! Try to do as much as you can within it. Everything works out. Not to sound really cheesy, but the universe loves you, and she wants you to grow. Remember this.



You’ll know me when you see me, and you’ll see me soon.



Off the Beat” columns are written by Daily Cal staff members until the fall semester’s regular opinion columnists have been selected.

Contact the opinion desk at [email protected] or follow us on Twitter @dailycalopinion.