Well well well, it looks like all the doubters are idiots, and I'm still the biggest winner of all. That's right losers, I've been working on my own show. For years I've been getting contacted by producers, directors, and networks from Hollywood, all with one goal in mind: to put my content on video. The problem is, nobody could figure out how. Until now.

Mired for years with bad advice and shitty ideas from uncreative people, I finally decided to take things into my own hands and make the show on my own, exactly the way I wanted to, with no compromise to my style or voice.

Now I know what you're thinking (because you email me diligently every few minutes of every hour of my life): why did it take so long to announce this? Because I'm not stupid. I don't like to announce anything I'm working on unless I'm 100% sure it's going to happen. I don't want to be one of those assholes who brags about projects that never see the light of day (though I love to brag, so this policy may change in the future). For example, I was contacted by my publisher 2 years before my book was released.

So basically you won't know anything I've worked on unless or until it's going to happen. Long breaks between updates means I'm up to something awesome.

As for the video, I'll be releasing the first episode on YouTube shortly. I've chosen to launch it online because it allows me more freedom to experiment, and because in a recent $1 billion lawsuit against YouTube, Viacom contended that most of the content people search out on YouTube is Viacom content.

Here's the sad part: they're probably right.

Most of the content on YouTube sucks. It's full of droning webcam psycho babble, shitty acoustic guitar solos, and stupid teenage girls dancing quasi-syncronously to Daft Punk songs. By the way, enough with the shitty Daft Punk hand videos. Every possible gimmick involving Daft Punk songs and a body part / inanimate object has been exploited, put that shit to rest. Jesus. Also, I'm tired of people playing shitty songs over videogame demos (Call of Duty & Halo losers are notorious for this). If Activision or Microsoft intended for Greenday to be the soundtrack to Call of Duty, they would have used it instead of spending millions of dollars recording custom sound effects and music for these games, you cocks.

I'm tired of seeing idiots dicking around and running YouTube into the ground, so I decided to produce a web show that's higher quality than what you'd normally find on the site (no incessant buzzing or microphone hiss would be a start). I will save the Internet. You're welcome.

Until then, you may subscribe to my channel to see updates as I post them, though they will be posted on my website simultaneously:

By the way, I don't understand what the obsession is with people trying to get you to subscribe to their videos on YouTube. I'm only offering this as a tool and couldn't really give less of a shit if you subscribe or not. It's a convenience for you, not for me. If all these YouTube losers spent even half the time they spend making stupid animated gifs and "SUBSCRIBE" overlays for all their videos and spent that time making actual content instead, maybe their videos wouldn't suck so bad, and YouTube might actually become a place where people go to watch original content, not just the latest SNL and South Park clips.

That's all for now. More to come...