Are you ready for the weirdest story you'll read all week? So it goes like this: Back in 2010 Jesse Dimmick was convicted of four felonies, including two felonies surrounding the 2009 kidnapping of a couple from Topeka, Kansas. Dimmick forced himself into their home one night at knifepoint while fleeing a murder charge in a stolen van. In order to avoid getting killed or wounded, the couple used some interesting tactics to gain Dimmick's trust, giving their kidnapper Dr. Pepper and some Cheetos before all three settled down to take in a viewing of the 1998 Robin Williams movie Patch Adams. Unfortunately for Dimmick -- and the people who worked hard on making Patch Adams an engaging piece of cinema worth every minute of your time -- the dude fell asleep during the movie, providing our fearless couple with an opportunity to escape.

Which they did. The cops entered the house and restrained Dimmick, accidentally shooting him in the back during the struggle. What followed were several lawsuits from Dimmick, who went after the city of Topeka after the cops shot him. Meanwhile, the couple sued Dimmick for "trespass, intrusion and negligent infliction of emotional distress," which is understandable. But Dimmick didn't like that, so he turned around and sued the couple he kidnapped at knifepoint for -- wait for it -- breach of contract, claiming the couple had promised to hide him from police in exchange for money. And since they failed to live up to their end of the bargain (because they instead turned him in when he fell asleep), Dimmick sees that as breach of contract.

Naturally the attorney for the couple has moved to dismiss Dimmick's lawsuit for various reasons, one of which includes the fact that a contract cannot be legally binding if a person is forced into agreeing to it at knifepoint. All these years later, and Patch Adams is still saving the day. If there's a moral to this story, it probably involves you investing in a copy of Patch Adams on the off chance someone breaks into your house and holds you hostage at knifepoint.

[via Lowering the Bar, via Boing Boing]