The tree of life is jam-packed with sublime majesty ... as long as you don't look at it too closely. When you examine some of Mother Nature's tiniest creations under a magnifying glass, it becomes all too clear that, whereas human beings are mostly carbon and water, bugs are made of equal parts nightmares and hell-dimension rage.

6 "Exploding Ants" Kill Themselves To Trap Predators In Poisonous Goo

Steve Jurvetson

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In Borneo, there is a species of ant called Camponotus cylindricus, more pronounceably known as the exploding ant. About half of these little buggers' volume is made up of a toxic, sticky substance which researchers refer to as "yellow goo," because sometimes Latin can go fuck itself (particularly when exploding ants are involved). When threatened by a predator (usually a larger ant), the exploding ant will lock onto its attacker's legs with their mandibles, flip upside-down in nature's unsexiest dance battle, and squeeze their abdominal muscles until their butts literally explode.

Bernard DUPONT/Wiki Commons

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Touch it. Go on, we dare you.

This serves a dual purpose. First, the yellow goo is toxic, so there's a good chance it will simply kill the aggressor outright. And if that doesn't work, it's also extremely sticky -- it effectively glues the exploding ant's (now) corpse to its enemy. So even if whatever attacks an exploding ant is sturdy enough to survive being massively poisoned, it'll still have to live out the remainder of its short life in a horrific, involuntary remake of Weekend At Bernie's.

April Nobile/Ant Web

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Or if the exploding ant is really sadistic, Weekend At Bernie's 2.

It sounds insane, but it's not uncommon for highly social insects such as ants to go kamikaze to protect their nest. Thing is, exploding ants will do it at the slightest provocation -- a gentle poke with forceps in a lab is enough to make them initiate ass-bursting protocol. They'll even do it hundreds of meters away from their nest, if a larger ant so much as takes a step onto their foraging grounds. That's sort of like blowing up your neighbor at the Food Lion on the off chance that they might snatch the last tub of macaroni salad.