Nom: Benoît Hamon.

Âge: 49.

Apparence: Black hair, stubble, sharp suit.

Qui est-il? The French Jeremy Corbyn.

Ah! Le Jérémie Courbin! Erm, yes. If you like.

D’accord. So il est un politicien super-gauche, mais super-unpopulaire? That’s about right. He has just won the nomination to be the Socialist candidate in France’s presidential election, which takes place in April.

Mon Dieu. Not another big election? Absolutely. They’re exciting, aren’t they?

I suppose. In a waiting-for-the-results-of-a-biopsy kind of way. Besides, I thought France already had a Socialist president? That Hollande guy? Yes, but he has reached such epic levels of unpopularity that he has said he won’t stand again. His approval rating is 4%.

Sacré bleu! So the Parti Socialiste has resoundingly chosen Hamon, the farthest-left candidate of all, to succeed him. At the moment, 15% of French voters say they’ll vote for him in the first round, which would put him fourth or fifth. Currently, the odds of him winning overall are about 30-1.

Oh dear. I see the comparison with Corbyn now. Has he tried making jam? I don’t know.

Will he refuse to sing the Marseillaise? No idea. He does have some eye-catching proposals, though.

Par exemple? He wants to pay every adult French citizen a monthly allowance of €750.

Sounds good. I assume the French government has lots of spare money? Rather the reverse, and Hamon is a little vague about where the necessary hundreds of billions of euros will come from. He does plan to tax robots, though.

Oh, well, that’s all right then. Are there a lot of rich robots in France? Not yet, but Hamon says everyone will soon be using them, so he’ll also bring France’s working week down from 35 to 32 hours, and make it harder to hire and fire people.

Still, at least he has a mandate from his party. Well, he has a mandate from 58% of those who voted. The remaining 42% went to his centrist rival, Manuel Valls, and many of those people may now defect to the exciting young independent candidate, Emmanuel Macron.

Is he a fascist? No, but he’s doing well regardless.

Dites: “Benoit, I don’t think this is a good idea.”

Ne dites pas: “Could we get one of the robots to be president?”