RUI: My Coaching Career is on Hold

I have been feeling awful since the end of Stage 3. It was obvious to me that I could no longer keep up with only a few hours of sleep each day. I wanted to quit, but I knew how saddened fans became after I left Shanghai Dragons in Stage 3 last year, and I was worried that players might not get used to the new meta in Stage 4. I knew that a change of coach was going to affect the team a lot, so I decided to stay.



In the middle of Stage 4, I started having headaches and cramps, and my backache got so bad that I could not even sit up. Visits to the doctor and some meds helped me through Stage 4 and play-in. After I returned to China, I thought since Leave was going to join us, I could use the off-season to upgrade the players as well as the coaching staff, and to do some physical exercise, so that next year we can be a stronger contender for a spot in the top 4.



But the World Cup made me drop this idea. During our World Cup training, I often stayed up late to do VOD reviews, and I began to feel some physical discomfort. I had gastroenteritis on my flight to the U.S., had a fever after I took proper meds, and got extremely carsick on my way to the hotel. The pain was so bad that I only managed to sleep for two hours. I got cramps in my face, my hands went numb, and my nose was shivering. I thought I was getting a stroke. On the next day, I was so worried that I wouldn’t be able to help out my players during the match, so I asked Blizzard staff to buy me pain relief patches which helped me survive World Cup.



We had a week off after the World Cup, but it wasn’t enough for my body to recover. So I knew I wouldn’t be able to cope with next year’s global schedule, which involves weekly or bi-weekly international trip. I also have serious motion sickness -- blind persistence will only destroy myself. So at that point I made up my mind that it was time to leave.



I’ve been thinking about it for a long time, and what I miss the most are the players who believe in me. But I just can’t keep up anymore, sorry guys. So I resigned when I got back from vacation.



Miraculous Youngster, Shanghai Dragons, World Cup, Chengdu Hunters, and World Cup again... it’s been over three years, and I can’t keep up anymore. If my health permits, I would continue to fight for the world championship and realize my dream without any regrets. But I couldn’t go any further. We got to the finals three times, once in the Seoul Cup and twice in the World Cup. We’ve been within a whisker of world championship three times. Life and reality are about imperfect endings.



After taking a break, I will continue to fight for the CNOW scene in a different way. I might become a caster or a streamer to bring joy to the audience. It is your continuous support and heartwarming encouragement that kept me going for three years. Otherwise, I think I would have given up.



You never gave up on me at my worst. I deeply feel the expectation and trust of the fans before every game, so I have full motivation to work hard. I really want to live up to your expectations, and make you witness the excitement in the process. I sincerely thank you guys. If I get better in a year or two, I might come back. Now my health does not allow me to continue. My coaching career is on hold!

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