So I'm kind of pissed and frustrated at the moment. I have a bit of a problem. Here it is: Reddit is awesome, and we mostly give each other awesome gifts and then post awesome thank yous about how awesome everything is, yeah? And I do this myself because I have usually been blown away by people's generosity and creativity etc. But then SOMETHING LIKE THIS HAPPENS and I am all like WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. F***??!?!?!

I can't describe this gift as awesome. I called my knitting present and my journal present awesome. (Deservedly). But this? This is in a whoooooooole new level of stupendously, outstandingly, sadistically wonderous that OH MY GOD I CAN'T EVEN. So how am I supposed to accurately describe how excited and I am by this? Huh, Santa, did ya think of that? Did ya? No. Of course you didn't.

(I mean look at this sh** I'm typing here. Just look at it. I'm using capslock like your racist auntie who doesn't understand facebook, and that's seven exlamation and question marks up there. That's just embarrassing.)

Right, ok, back up. Back up back up back up. It all started when I received a letter with my 'Hai"clue"' (pictured.) Evidently my haiku and puzle santa were one and the same, and cleverclogs that they were, decided to incorporate the two. A couple of days later, I come home from work, and balanced on the lawnmower in my garden storage, I find this massive parcel.

And then the madness really started.

I've captioned my journey so far with each picture. And currently, I must shame-facedly admit am at a bit of an impasse. But when I get there I will update! Fellow redditors, I hope you will follow this post and my journey...and then vote this up like a mofo. YO ELVES GIVE THIS PERSON SOME STUFF, MMKAY? Mmmkay.

ETA: Finished! With a little help from my Santa, granted... but quietly pleased that I only had to ask once. Thank you Santa, I had the very best time doing this, and I have been blown away by the amount of effort, creativity, red herrings, ("is the number of rabbits on the envelope significant? do I count them?" "What about the name Nemo?" "What was that tiny heart shaped piece of foil next to the queen of clubs?" "Am I meant to be counting the fizz whizz? Is that why one was hidden?" "Oh god, maybe I shouldn't have eaten some already...do these blue gloves imply some sort of chemical reaction with them is necessary?" etc. etc.) and generosity you put into this. Very touched by my final prize too xxx I sincerely hope that your gift was as epic. you really deserve it. Thanks again :)