"You people are always complaining about your children running around," stated FIFA president Gianni Infantino. "Why not put them to work building retaining walls and erecting scaffolding."

According to Amnesty International, the 2022 World Cup was built on the backs and deaths of migrant laborers forced into slave like conditions and FIFA plans on utilizing the same methodology in the United States, Canada and Mexico provided that the nations agree to their abandonment of labour laws.

"We need a workforce that will work for virtually no money in unsafe conditions and be perpetually afraid of their lives and livelyhood if they speak out. Isn't that great?" stated Infantino to The Nutmeg News.

Sources say that the organization was originally going to mask their intent, but decided FUCK IT.... the USA would probably agree to this anyway.

The Nutmeg News will have more on this as the United States finds a way to cave to these requests as fast as possible.