The prime minister’s decision to expel 23 diplomats, to cancel high-level contacts and to name Vladimir Putin had come as no surprise, given the lack of response from the Russians following the poisoning of Sergei and Yulia Skripal, and her statement had been received with the seriousness the occasion deserved. Now all eyes were on Jeremy Corbyn.

On Monday, the Labour leader had alienated most of his own MPs by appearing to be more interested in criticising the Tories for pocketing large wads of Russian cash than in the fact that the Russians had tried to take out a former spy and his daughter on British soil. Just two days later, Corbyn had the chance to make amends. To save the party political point-scoring for a later day – one that would come soon enough, as there were plenty of awkward questions for the Conservatives to answer – and make a show of unity when national security was threatened.

Call it having the courage of your convictions. Or call it vanity. But when push came to shove, Corbyn just couldn’t bring himself to do it. He could manage to condemn the attack. He could even manage to bite his tongue and forget the grubby donations. What he couldn’t do was blame the Russians. As far as Corbyn was concerned, there was still too much room for doubt. The British intelligence services were jumping to too many conclusions and it was still possible that some rogue agent had managed to nick some Russian nerve agent to conduct his own freelance wet job.

Play Video 2:07 'They have just one week to leave': May expels 23 Russian diplomats – video

The very fact that the Russian embassy had spent the previous day tweeting sarcastic comments about the UK threat rather than bothering to explain their version of events to the British government, was actually a sign of just how seriously Putin was taking the situation. Jeremy had never met a Russian he didn’t like or trust – especially one that had been head of the KGB – and he was sure the whole thing was just a cultural misunderstanding.



Rather than escalating the situation, what the prime minister ought to be doing was having a robust exchange of homemade jam. After a nice cup of tea followed by a few vodka shots, he felt sure the Russians would be able to explain to everyone’s satisfaction how the Skripals had deliberately managed to poison themselves purely to worsen relations between the two countries.

Theresa May couldn’t believe her luck. Just half an hour previously, at prime minister’s questions, she had yet again looked out of her depth. A woman at war with both herself and language as she was wrong-footed by predictable questions about the NHS. Now she was looking and sounding like a colossus. A serious global player. Not for anything in particular she had said, but for simply not being Corbyn.

Not even everyone on the Labour front bench could face this second embarrassment. Most made a dash for the exit as soon as indecently possible and within minutes Corbyn was only left with the shadow foreign secretary and a couple of others for company. Meanwhile, behind him his backbenchers queued up to distance themselves from their leader. They believe Corbyn is so blinkered over Russia that he would still manage to find an innocent explanation even if there was video evidence of Putin strangling the Skripals with his bare hands.

First, as on Monday, was Yvette Cooper. Then Liz Kendall, Stephen Kinnock, Chris Leslie and a procession of others. Ben Bradshaw and Chris Bryant even suggested the prime minister hadn’t gone far enough in condemning Russia. All were desperate to be seen to purge Labour of their leader’s sins. A little water clears us of this deed.

At each blow of the knife, Corbyn reddened a little more, his face like thunder. Damn them. Damn the party. He was right. Again. Always being right was one of the few things of which he was certain. He’d been on the right side of history in the past. Only time would tell if he was on the right side of it now.

• This article was amended on 16 March 2018 to amend a reference to “two former Russian spies”.

