I, Theotebran the Powerful, have been tasked with generating a listicle by a cunning djinn, in exchange for even more power. I sat in contemplation atop my black-spired tower and realized, you know, with alcohol laws loosening across America, it’s easier than ever to open up a money factory that serves drinks until 4AM. But, you must make your money factory special & distinct, with a hook that brings patrons back night after night. Draw some inspiration from these themed bar ideas, written by me, a wizard!

Noche de las Palmas: at this Caribbean hideaway, the rum comes quick & fast. You could have a little kitchen serving up plantanos & empanadas. And a disco ball, enchanted with a darkness spell, will ensure that it is, indeed, always noche. La Galerie: a place where fine art & fine drinks come to mingle. Serving only beer & wine (a major savings, in terms of getting an alcohol license!), your softly-lit guzzler’s gallery will enchant & enlighten. To cut costs even further, simply hang empty frames, and hire a skilled Illusionist to fill them with whatever your customers want to see! Marvel’s Guardians of the Galaxy: Escape from Reality: this one is a bit impractical, as it requires working with the Disney corporation, but who wouldn’t love to have a drink with Drax, or talk sports with Groot?! FX’s Fargo: The Bar-go: it’s Fargo but it’s a bar? That’s too much like #3. OK, hang on. I’m going to consult my Well of Lost Lore for a second. Idle Grove: yes, here we go, much better. An outdoor bar, set in a greenwood, this establishment evokes a sylvan mood. You could specialize in mead & floral cocktails, with ingredients plucked from the trees & bushes that surround your merry tipplers. No elves will visit, for they long ago departed this world for the golden lands of the Wealdath, but it’ll still feel pretty elf-y to drink mead under Moonlight. Eye-Fuckers: I admit, I don’t really have a premise for this one. I just think that’s a good name for a bar. People will want to hook up in it, no matter what you do with the decor or menu, which is magical in its own way. Miyya Tahfnam: this is the name of the djinn, spelled backwards. By tricking him into reading it, I have forced him back into his lamp, and he has granted my wish! Ha-ho-ho, even now, I feel my power growing. Thank you, feeble mortals, for enjoying this listicle; I shall show you mercy when my skeleton armies march upon your filthy, bar-filled cities! ENJOY YOUR FINAL NIGHTS OF FRIVOLITY, FOR SOON COMES THE DAWN OF A GLORIOUS MAGICAL EMPIRE, RULED BY ME,

THEOTEBRAN THE POWERFUL!