Batman. Harry Potter. Tarzan. Daredevil. Heathcliff.

These orphans don't need your help. They did okay without you, thank you very much. But lots of other ones do. Not all orphans have dormant wizard powers. Or inherited a family fortune. Or are cats.

By donating to this fundraiser, you will help raise money for orphans in need around the world. Even my twisted black heart has soft spots and helping innocent children who have lost their parents is one of them.

So donate. The goal is $1000. If that happens, I'll get to rappel down the side of the Hilton Memphis hotel, which according to Wikipedia, is the 7th tallest building in Memphis. So not only will you be contributing to a good cause, you'll also be contributing to my inevitable splattery demise. That's gotta be worth something to some of you.