You should try the coffee blend Starbucks is running right now. It’s called Naki Naki, or Tiki Tiki, or something like that. They claim that it has “notes of citrus and spice”, but I swear I never taste the flavors they advertise in their brewed coffee. Either it’s a marketing ploy or I drown out the flavor with the shit-ton of cream I use. Probably the latter.

The Kati Kati blend, which I’m now reading is of East African decent, has jump-started my fizzled brain and I’ve come up with a brilliant idea. I should make lavender tea! It’s actually a really boring idea. I mean, I’ve tasted lavender gelato at the shop on my block (shout out to Sav’s Chill – Sav’s a total sweetheart!). And, because lavender is in the same family as mint and rosemary, a more adventurous (a.k.a. experienced) culinarian could easily incorporate it into a savory dish. But hey, you can’t blame me for taking it slow. Besides, I now have a practically unlimited supply of lavender buds (surely the hospital doesn’t mind, right?). So tea it is.

I recently splurged on some “organic” loose leaf tea from the farmer’s market, and have been stowing it away for a day when I want to supplement my sophistication levels. Plus I had to wait to get paid ’cause I need a tea infuser first…

As always, trusty ole’ Amazon has yielded some promising finds!

This guy is particularly adorable. But totally insulting to the perky-pinkied tea purists I’m trying so hard to emulate.

This one at least has a cool design concept that’s actually relevant to its function. When I usually make prepackaged tea I always plop the bag in and out of my mug a few times to make sure all the tea flavor got rinsed out. This way I can delicately STIR my tea with the infuser. And it looks pretty, too. Remotely like something an art student would wear around their neck and fill with rocks or feathers or something else weird. Buttttt it’s still 10 bucks, and the reviews are making me second guess if it’s worth the price…

THIS ONE is awesome. It’s cheap(er) at $5.49. It comes with a little drip cup so you don’t splatter tea all over the table. AND it looks just like one of those hand exerciser things. My hands would get buffer just from making tea. And I bet it would totally make my Patrick pinky (see below) way more…prone for dexterity? I swear there isn’t an adjective form of dexterity. I just checked.

But, yet again, the reviews are disappointing. Apparently, because it’s so cheaply made, it doesn’t always snap shut and tea leaves get into your brew. So. Not. Worthy of the pinky.

Our last contestant comes highly recommended. It’s sleek. It has a cool design. You twist the handle and it opens up like a Pacman mouth ( I can’t even start to wrap my mind around how that would work. I need more Kati Kati).

Plus, it has its own modeling portfolio:

I definitely think we have a winner. Now I just have to wait for my paycheck tomorrow. I’ll be sure to casually steal some more lavender on my way home.

(So much for sophistication!)