#966262 +( 179 )- [X] < duoi> how do i stop getting my puter infected with adware when downloading porn

< skas> block ads

< skas> update os and antivir

< hdqn> next!

< duoi> but how will i find out about lonely singles in my local area

< hdqn> look into every window in the neighbourhood, if they're IRCing that's your best best

< hdqn> the shorter the handle, the longer the candle, if y'know what I mean #966243 +( 78 )- [X] <uselessabstraction> So I was just having a conversation with my fiance about Star Wars

<uselessabstraction> particulary, about the choice of architecture

<uselessabstraction> The amount of people who die from falling down bottomless pits is TO DAMN HIGH

<uselessabstraction> like, who designs architecture like this?

<uselessabstraction> catwalks with no guard rails whatsoever, just zigging and zagging through enormous voids

<uselessabstraction> Giant holes to nowhere

<gonzobot> ・゜゜・。 ​ 。・゜゜​_ø< qu​ack!

<MerryPenguin> .bef

<gonzobot> MerryPenguin you befriended a duck in 3.166 seconds! You have made friends with 17 ducks in #trees.

<uselessabstraction> .bang

<uselessabstraction> bah

<MerryPenguin> It's by design

<MerryPenguin> It's a cleaner look, for a more elegant time

<uselessabstraction> like... who the fuck put this hole here???? and why????

<MerryPenguin> exhaust

<uselessabstraction> Darth Maul falls down a hole

<uselessabstraction> Palpatine falls down a hole

<uselessabstraction> Solo falls down a hole

<uselessabstraction> everyone falls down a hole

<uselessabstraction> Star Wars universe needs OSHA

<MerryPenguin> Luke falls down a hole

<MerryPenguin> Boba Fett falls down a hole

<uselessabstraction> yes. yes.

<uselessabstraction> I forgot about those!

<MerryPenguin> R2D2 falls down a hole in the Millenium Falcon after he fixes the hyperdrive

<MerryPenguin> lol

<MerryPenguin> we're onto something here

<uselessabstraction> Obi Wan almost falls down a hole

<MerryPenguin> C-3PO falls off the barge into the sand. Pretty close to falling down a hole.

<uselessabstraction> his lightsabre does though

* MerryPenguin thinks hard about what other Star Wars Characters fall down holes

<uselessabstraction> what if the hole is symbolic

<uselessabstraction> the hole represents the dark side

<MerryPenguin> Nah, doesn't work. Luke chooses to fall down the hole instead of joining Vader/The Dark Side

<uselessabstraction> fair point #966229 +( 159 )- [X] <Jarcode> besides, emacs users are ripped

<Jarcode> you wouldn't want to mess with one

<Jarcode> the sheer strength of their fingers from reaching across their keyboard to use obscure keybindings can crush bones #966228 +( -18 )- [X] <therocode> I don't use dumbbells because they are dumb.

<KVETCH> dumb in the sense that they don't speak

<therocode> yeah that makes me feel lonely

<KVETCH> barbells are pretty loquacious in comparison

<KVETCH> which is why so many people wear headphones to drown them out

<therocode> Scarecrow: i haven't figured out another way to get the same quality of simulation that is not super annoying to implement

<therocode> KVETCH: yeah, it's similar sounds to when you sit at a bar - hence the name

<KVETCH> and the bell is actually an abbreviation of belle, which is due to the hourglass shape of a fully loaded one

<therocode> in fact "gym" is a cheeky spelling of "jim" as a reference to "jim carrey", which is in itself a play on words: Jim Carrey -> Jim Carry. "Jim" used in the same sense as "john" in "john doe" and Carry implying lifting weights. So, basically a place where people lift #966225 +( 196 )- [X] <Roosevelt> !choose do work, play games

<RoBoBo> Choice: do work

<Roosevelt> bah

<Roosevelt> !choose listen to a stupid bot, don't listen to a stupid bot

<RoBoBo> Choice: listen to a stupid bot

<Roosevelt> :( #966218 +( 270 )- [X] <tehron> i have a question about the english language: are parcel and packet synonym in any way?

<sabretooth> yes

<sabretooth> packet is generally smaller

<sabretooth> but they can be used interchangeably even with a large packet and a small parcel :)

<tehron> hm.. :P

<tehron> i think i can't receive parcels

<sabretooth> Well if you're sending them over TCP probably not

<tehron> :P very helpful

<sabretooth> if you're sending them by UDP, UPS or Royal Mail however they'll likely be dropped anyway #966216 +( 91 )- [X] <&Moltare> I tried teaching the twins about octothorpes

<&Moltare> I made a hash of it

<Stardrake> Keep trying. In for a penny, in for a pound, after all. #966184 +( -78 )- [X] <anus> you measure from butthole to tip right #966182 +( 296 )- [X] <FedorhaJergins> I left my job today. I couldn't work for that man after what he said to me.

<ImAndreaKitty> what did he say?

<FedorhaJergins> your fired #966181 +( 230 )- [X] <Omega037> so, apparently in preschool class today the teacher asked the class "What are you afraid of?" and my son screamed "BLACK PEOPLE!" It took her like a minute of talking to him about it to realize that he meant shadows, he just didn't know the word. #966166 +( 73 )- [X] <@stereo_> when we get a time machine that can look anywhere in history, i assume the first thing it'll be used for is to spy on other people's dicks

<@Dom`> I mean, why?

<@Dom`> If we wanted to spy on dicks, we could just put a camera in your mouth #966114 +( 111 )- [X] <firefacks> cout << "hello" << endl;

<CoccaFukuda> printf("Sup");

<firefacks> Console.WriteLine("not much");

<sjmulder> ObjectFactory.Resolve<IGreeter>().Invoke(); #966109 +( 48 )- [X] <Min>: Urg Vince cable has been talking about brexiteers 'erotic spasms'

<Min>: I feel a bit queasy 😕

<Yhor>: come on Vince, lets keep it clean

<Min>: I know. Let's keep erotic out of the brexit space

<Yhor>: Maybe he's trying to appeal to people that pretend to know politics and think it's like football?

<Yhor>: you pick a team and you're on that team until you die regardless of your changing opinions

<Yhor>: and must hate all the other teams.

<Min>: Ah I thought you meant full of divas, too much money in the system and secretly owned by Russian oligarchs

<Yhor>: There are days it's clear you're a lot smarter than me. #965959 +( 520 )- [X] <pawz> i use lilo :") in fact.. my first cat was called Lilo

<pawz> i would take him to the vet and they would be like "Oh, Lilo, from the Disney movie" and i would say "Oi, check his birth date. he was born years before that shitty movie. his name is short for LInux LOader"

<Stranj> And then the vet gave you a shot to calm you down? #965855 +( 88 )- [X] <mandrill> if minnie driver had a mini cooper and multiple midget chauffeurs...

<mandrill> many mini drivers drive minnie driver's mini #965821 +( 162 )- [X] <fishmunster123> when i was younger, my dad got me this star wars trilogy cd set, thinkning it was the soundtracks. it was, but it was all midi, no actual orchestra stuff

<Norseman> and that's how you learned to play the keyboard?

<fishmunster123> no, thats how i learned life is full of disappointments #965795 +( 127 )- [X] <sargeras000> I've been in one (1) house that had a urinal

<thuban> whose house

<sargeras000> don't recall

<sargeras000> now that i think of it, it may have been a water fountain #965761 +( 73 )- [X] <monotone> it's funniest when a monkey is gibbon it all it's got, but things still go wrong

<Hawkline> wow monotone, just wow

<wayfinder> monotone, how do you come up with these? i hope it's okay to ask, i dont wanna pry m8

<HunterX11> the thing with monkeys is that they are smart enough that you can sometimes see on their face when they realize "oh shit this was a bad idea"

<wayfinder> kinda like when girls go on a blind date with me, "see me an" think this was a bad idea

<wayfinder> ha ha ha, am i rite

<wayfinder> she just didn't like macaque

<monotone> man, drilling deep, wayfinder

<wayfinder> monotone, that's what your marmoset #965715 +( 193 )- [X] < pronto> :(

< GiftdKook> Turn that frown upside down!

< korozion> ): #965712 +( 141 )- [X] <LordHelmet> FYI, The Last Jedi is up on the Corsair Cove.

<FailBetter> The what?

<LordHelmet> The Buccaneer Marina.

<PewLaser> you mean The Swashbuckler Lagoon?

<PewLaser> The Arrrrrbour?

<PewLaser> The Privateer Basin?

<PewLaser> Marauder Gulf?

<LordHelmet> Pirate Bay.

<PewLaser> aww, you ruined it. #ComboBreaker #965693 +( -213 )- [X] <yuritrue> you can connect over tor i think if you use sasl

<yuritrue> don't quote me on that though #965610 +( 298 )- [X] <_alph4_> cedra when are you coming to live with me

<cedra> I can't

<_alph4_> :(

<cedra> Unless you live here in this country

<_alph4_> i do not

<_alph4_> i live in the democratic republic of trump

<cedra> What state

<_alph4_> denial

<_alph4_> sometimes confusion #965608 +( 53 )- [X] <ahf> well, i guess everything is a dildo if you are brave enough #965519 +( 237 )- [X] < leah> you don't win against people like SoundFriend by debating with the individual person. you win by getting elected and educating children so that we get less people like SoundFriend

< SoundFriend> Fewer #965502 +( 327 )- [X] <PeopleProgrammer> www.masterprocrastinator.com is taken

<TungstenCarbide> you shouldn't have waited so long #965437 +( 470 )- [X] <@be> Coworker arguing about NTP with me.

<@pronoun> tell them you don't have time for that #965433 +( 207 )- [X] <Lorien> I have identical twins. One's a back up.

<AnIndexOfMetals> She's kept in a box in the attic.

<Lorien> lol

<Lorien> Very much the opposite.

<AnIndexOfMetals> In the cellar. #965416 +( 631 )- [X] <zy]x[yz> turtles are like chairs with legs

<mniip> chairs already have legs #965408 +( 180 )- [X] <Denwa> Italiana should only be in charge of making unreliable cars that look cool

<Joe> proves how little of a true slav lives in you

<Denwa> Now now

<Denwa> Slav vehicle may also break down

<Joe> maluch doesn't break down

<Joe> nor does 125p

<Denwa> But they also only need bottle of vodka and semecki to run

<Denwa> Use mayonez as grease

<Denwa> Good to go

<Joe> maluch runs on literally anything

<Joe> if you defecate or piss into the tank enough it will run flawlessly

<Joe> though rip people who inhale the fumes

<Denwa> Also aren't fiat 126 technically not Italian

<Joe> manufactured by fiat

<Joe> italian

<Joe> designed by an italian as well

<Denwa> But they were made in Polan....

<Joe> a lot of shit is made in polan and yet you wouldn't call it polan

<Joe> like death camps for example

<Denwa> You win this round #965350 +( 200 )- [X] <AndrewOregon> People debate to win, and they usually resort to dishonesty in doing so. It's not a conversation.

<AndrewOregon> IRC is so cozy because it still hosts conversation, that rare gem online.

<lakembra> get raped fgt #965386 +( -333 )- [X] <modp> off work now, time to get scotched up

<jas0n> drunk yet?

<modp> BUCK'S ABORTION CLINIC SPEAKING. YOU RAPE 'EM, WE SCRAPE 'EM. NO FETUS CAN BEAT US.

<jas0n> is your liver okay?

<modp> i'd say it's an approximate physical manifestation of a metaphor for my life #965366 +( -377 )- [X] bld: we have officially "miscarried"

Hasad: pics or it didn't happen

bld: absence of evidence is not evidence of absence #965249 +( 325 )- [X] <blaxthos> "yea, um, let me get 2 boxen of sudafed"

<blaxthos> "sorry, by law you can only get 1 box at a time"

<blaxthos> "okay, let me get 1 box of sudafed and these 7 guns" #963266 +( 52 )- [X] <kiska> what does dj khaled even do

<venuism> makes mirc #963183 +( 213 )- [X] < winter_the_mute> i am both of those things

< winter_the_mute> sadly i am also a programmer so

< winter_the_mute> fit and pretty only gets you so far when you're autistic

<@ Riztazz> | there is a 3rd option to it

<@ Riztazz> | sadly only a handful of men can achieve that

<@ Riztazz> | and its not something you can do anything about

<@ Riztazz> | well

<@ Riztazz> | nowdays u can

<@ Riztazz> | get a big dick

< winter_the_mute> im black so i got that too

< winter_the_mute> but last time i whipped my dick out to a woman, she moved seats on the bus #963072 +( 497 )- [X] <wusel>hey whasti do you make love to your woman in the other hole?

<whasti>eww you sir are disgusting

<whasti>she could get pragnant from that #963028 +( 236 )- [X] Govind: once I saw a sign that said "Parking for Drive-Thru customers only". that was the stupidest thing I'd ever read until I read Harry Potter and the Cursed Child #963026 +( 503 )- [X] <Church> Sup folks

<BytesAndCoffee> Church: do you program?

<Church> Ja.

<BytesAndCoffee> more functional or more imperative?

<Church> Mix.

<BytesAndCoffee> Church: deplorable, church and state should never mix!

<Church> Heh

<Church> Oh god. It clicked.

<Church> Fuck you.

<Church> That joke has layers... >_> #963025 +( 293 )- [X] <mogh> I landed an in person interview

<sergey> where at?

<alexander> Hydraulic Press Inc.

<sergey> You've gotta crush the interview to work there

<sergey> very firm handshake is a plus as well

<kurn> dunno if I'd want to work there, I hear it's a high-pressure environment

<kurn> and opportunities for advancement are pretty flat

<alexander> Getting the wrong manager there can be soul-crushing.

<helena> but getting the right one can be powerfully uplifting

<mogh> I think I could squeeze out a living #963023 +( 169 )- [X] <sneak> what is a good keto alternative to chips

<sneak> like kfc but from chicken shops not kfc

<S3tanta> I mean

<S3tanta> if you buy a breast of chicken

<S3tanta> and you fry that

<S3tanta> that's keto

<sneak> thats not fried chicken

<sneak> thats just chicken

<sneak> fried

<S3tanta> that's literally what fried chicken is

<S3tanta> chicken that is fried #962987 +( -76 )- [X] <randymarsh9> what's the proper way to administer a remote linux server?

<aeyxa> ssh

<phogg> randymarsh9: Hire me to use ssh.

<randymarsh9> phogg: do you take bitcoin

<phogg> randymarsh9: no, I take payment only in Linux support. That YOU provide, later.

<phogg> to other people

<randymarsh9> what is ssh file transfer protocol claled

<aeyxa> sftp

<SporkWitch> scp

<phogg> sftp > scp, but sure you can use scp too

<randymarsh9> ok i want to use scp but whenever i try to edit/move file i get access denied

<randymarsh9> only root has access to modify those files

<SporkWitch> you've answered your own question then

<randymarsh9> i can't login as root though

<randymarsh9> there's gotta be a simple way to do this without changing folder permissions everytime

<randymarsh9> i know how from ssh but want to do the same from scp

<aeyxa> There is, you log in as root

<randymarsh9> no, i turned that shit off because some stupid security blog told me it's the right thing to do

<randymarsh9> you are basically telling me the hard way to do it

<randymarsh9> i already know how to do it the hard way i was looking for something easier through scp

<randymarsh9> telling me to login as root is hardly an answer

<aeyxa> randymarsh9: Log in as your user, then sudo up to root

<randymarsh9> aeyxa: how do you sudo up in scp

<aeyxa> randymarsh9: What files are you moving, where are you moving them from, what have you tried.

<randymarsh9> aeyxa: want to edit files in /etc/

<aeyxa> randymarsh9: Do you have permission to use the root account?

<randymarsh9> yes, but the login through scp with root is turned off

<aeyxa> randymarsh9: If you only want to edit files, I don't know why you're asking about scp and sftp.

<randymarsh9> aeyxa: because if i do it through scp i'm able to use the gui #962982 +( 786 )- [X] RageOmega: my gf's father yelled at me when he found out i took her virginity, i told him it wouldnt happen again and he let me off the hook #962978 +( -91 )- [X] On a sunny summer eve

< Jan-> I really need to write up a readme on this to explain exactly what it's required to do.

< Jan-> Every time I bring it up, I go through this same conversation.

< Emil> Jan-: have you entertained the thought

< Emil> that

< Emil> you might be wrong?

< Emil> If everytime you bring it up people tell you are wrong

< Emil> Have you even considered the alternative?

< Jan-> Sure. But then I've reexamined the situation, and realised that no, I'm right, it's just that you don't understand my use case.

A few minutes later

< Jan-> bear in mind I've explained this about a billion times and it always ends like this.

< Jan-> it's getting really bloody tiresome.

< Emil> it ends with people not wanting to hear your shit anymore

< Jan-> I'm not an idiot, I have thought about this, I understand the problem. #962974 +( 257 )- [X] < froggey> which is another dependency, and another place for people to fuck up and send me bug reports

< aejsmith> solution: don't get users

< aejsmith> they're all terrible, so just avoid that problem by not having anyone use your software

< froggey> I'm trying! I'm building the weirdest and most useless possible software and yet people still want to use it

< froggey> I don't understand it at all #962961 +( -309 )- [X] <scoob> so, question for you geezers

<scoob> gotta be in NY in a suit tomorrow. ok, fine. Flying out tomorrow.

<scoob> I can wear the suit on the plane and go straight, or I can pack it and change

<scoob> both seem shitty

<unclefat> are you flying in the animal hold ?

<scoob> the finest economy delta has to offer

<unclefat> can get you a gold medallion for $500

<unclefat> good odds on getting upgraded to a class that lets you hang your coat and doesn't fly you with some fatty's elbow up your asshole

<unclefat> #justsayin

<unclefat> also, for suit-wearing times i make them fly me in the night before and scrip a hotel room

<scoob> yeah, this is personal travel

<scoob> and just came in from elsewhere tonight

<scoob> didn't get to go direct from place to place

<unclefat> so where would you change ?

<scoob> friends place

<scoob> someone's hotel room

<scoob> whatever

<scoob> that part is squared away

<unclefat> then i'd bring the suit

<unclefat> and fly like the animal you are

<scoob> all day erry day

<unclefat> go get shorn and whatnot at your boy's barn #962960 +( -98 )- [X] SKoertig: I am trapped in a Bank of America please send help

SKoertig: They do not have a bathroom

SKoertig: I may die in this place.

Artilicer: odd

Artilicer: they let me use their bathroom

Artilicer: last time when I was bleeding from the mouth thanks to wisdom teeth removal

SKoertig: I think they literally have no toilet.

Artilicer: so

Artilicer: do they use the mouths of their customers or

SKoertig: These are accountants. I am fairly certain they do not poop.

SKoertig: Their buttholes are purely recreational in purpose.

Artilicer: how convenient

SKoertig: Please poop in my buttholehhfuffjrqqow

SKoertig: Sorry one of the tellers stole my phone for a second

Reuben Sandwich: fyi, the bathroom is not in the safe

SKoertig: I escaped. No prison can hold me #962920 +( 629 )- [X] <Ilikehorses> dude... how do u play this game?

<Xenocideophile> it's a chat room for programmers

<Ilikehorses> i know THAT

<Xenocideophile> then you're good to go

<Ilikehorses> no no no how do I make a game

<Xenocideophile> depends

<Ilikehorses> ...?

<Xenocideophile> Depends what language you want to use to start off with

<Ilikehorses> american #962919 +( 369 )- [X] <leo60228> vim is even better

<leo60228> but i honestly don't know how to open a new tab in it

<Pixl> we have reached peak hipster #962894 +( 40 )- [X] <MCRanchDepressing> "This sweet ass sed line should do the business" #962889 +( 172 )- [X] <drbngrl> hi

<LordCow> yo

<fppe> hello there girl

<fppe> what happened to your vowels

<LordCow> cost saving

<drbngrl> what vowels

<LordCow> exactly

<fppe> she had a vowel movement

<drbngrl> what are yoll talking about