THIS morning I slept in. In fact, I'm probably still asleep.

Last night I stayed out until, well, whenever I wanted. Drank beer. Lifted heavy items. Ate HEAPS of sushi. This afternoon? I probably won't do those things again, if I'm honest. But the point is I could.

I don't have kids. I won't have them for years. I see them in my future, I do (sorry, Girlfriend, spoiler). But no one's doing a good job of selling the whole parenthood thing to me. Right now, it just sounds like the place where fun goes to die.

Recently The Girlfriend and I went to dinner with two other couples - both expecting children for the first time. It was lovely. They talked excitedly about names, painting their nurseries and attending pre-natal classes.

Starters were served, wine was poured, life was good. Then came the next round of discussion.

At some point between the pregnant woman's 24-hour back pain and the word "placenta", I stifled a reversing mouthful of slow-cooked lamb, looked at The Girlfriend, and smiled. She smiled back.

It wasn't because we were feeling clucky. It was because we weren't. And the realisation that, at least for now, life is so, so, so much better. So much better.

Our coupled-up friends stopped and said: "You must be loving this. Are we boring you?"

No. Well, not entirely. But all this talk of prolonged labour and birthing canals is giving us some serious childlessness arrogance.

"We were just saying that tomorrow, instead of buying a palate of nappies from Costco, we'd spend the day doing nothing. Because doing nothing is better than parenting."

We're not a***holes. We're just not ready for all of that rubbish. We're not ready for all of those discussions. The find-out-the-gender vs keep-it-a-secret discussion. The c-section vs natural birth discussion. The breast milk vs formula discussion.

And the questions. Will my kid be smart? Will he or she have excellent CP hair? Will they embrace my karaoke rendition of The Spice Girls' Wannabe?

No. Those can wait. The only question I've got for today is: pale ale or lager?

Chris is doing whatever the hell he wants right now. Guilt-free. He's also on Twitter: @christoforpaine.

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