It has been a while since I’ve done a set of recommended story reviews.

Unlike my usual review sets, in these, I am drawing from stories that I put on my recommended and highly recommended lists before I started reviewing stories.

This week, I thought I’d try and make progress on reviewing more of the fifteen stories you should read which I feature on my user page. Four of the five stories in today’s set of reviews are from that list, and the fifth is another very strong work that I highly recommend.

Today’s stories:

Whom the Princesses Would Destroy by Ghost of Heraclitus

A Canterlot Carol by Ghost of Heraclitus

Drinking Alone, Except with Two by AcreuBall

Barrelled Up by KitsuneRisu

Five Hundred Little Murders by Estee

Whom the Princesses Would Destroy

by Ghost of Heraclitus



Comedy, Slice of Life

19,758 words To Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia, it is a simple surprise visit to Canterlot. To the ponies of the Equestrian Civil Service, it is twenty-four hours of chaos, politics, weaponized dessert, politics, underhooved manipulation of media, politics, and things batrachian and tentacular. Who said bureaucracy isn't exciting?

Why I originally read it: It was recommended to me.

Review

"Quem reginae volunt perdere, dementant prius." — Classical Equestrian proverb, roughly translated: "Whom the princesses would destroy, they first drive mad." Their royal highnesses could not be reached for comment regarding how often this must have occurred to warrant its own proverb.

Thus begins the tale of the Equestrian Civil Service, the pones who run Equestria.

Now some might call this a vainglorious thought, a treasonous one, even, but it was the honest truth. The princesses ruled the country, none disputed that, at least not for long. The nobles claimed, gamely, to lead it and, whatever Dotted's thoughts on the matter were[4], that was supported by any number of ancient covenants and hallowed agreements. The politicians of the government and the parliament governed Equestria, though this, Dotted suspected, was mostly theoretical. The success of Her Highnesses' Loyal Opposition and the no-less-loyal Party in Government at making reforms was legendary. At least in the sense that you may have heard of it, and it was certainly written down in a dusty old book somewhere, but you were exceedingly unlikely to ever see it with your own two eyes. Grudgingly, Dotted had to admit that it wasn't entirely the fault of the politicians. The ponies of Equestria, bless them, were quite taken with the political process. As a result, the average tenure for a cabinet minister was, at present, four months and falling, as popular opinion grew ever more mercurial. The Equestrian Civil Service, now, the Civil Service ran the place. They made sure the bills got paid, they wrote down lists and pedantic reports. They kept minutes and filed things so that they may be found again[5]. They made sure that, no matter the crisis, no matter the chaos, tomorrow, when the dust settles and the casualties are tallied, normalcy can resume. It's quite one thing to welcome back Princess Luna from her exile and quite another to make sure all laws take into account two rulers. Not to mention getting the parliament to sign off on all the amendments. Still, it was Dotted's proudest day when Princess Celestia asked him to look into reinstating Luna's authority, and he could reply that all the problems were resolved, laws ratified, and changes made, and the relevant edict only required her signature. Her smile made all the sleepless nights and endless politicking worth it a thousand times over. [4] Chiefly, they were unprintable.

[5] Or so that they may never be found again. It is amazing how many hare-brained schemes by eager cabinet ministers end up with the files 'lost', the transcripts 'mislaid' and the copies 'tragically flung into the moat and set on fire'.

A footnotes comedy, this story details the struggles of one Dotted Line, the pony in charge of the Equestrian Civil Service, as well as his comrades-in-paperwork Leafy Salad and Spinning Top, as they prepare for a surprise visit from Twilight Sparkle. It seems many things must be done in order to prepare the capital for her coming – her old room must be cleaned out, security must be upgraded, the local nobles who are worried that she is going to take over Equestria and rule over them with an iron hoof must be pacified*, and the tabloid press needs to be distracted so as to avoid Twilight reading any unfortunate rumors about her relationship with the princess.

* This is even funnier in retrospect, given this was written before season 3 came out and Twilight becoming an alicorn princess was confirmed. I’m sure the nobles in question had kittens. Probably shipped to them by the Civil Service to distract them.

A story chock full of colorful OCs and whimsical narration, the story is very funny while simultaneously giving us a nice glimpse of the various members of the Equestrian Civil Service involved in the story. The world that Ghost of Heraclitus paints is one of a very British Equestria, one full of bureaucracy, a terrible press corps, a constantly misbehaving Prince Blueblood, angry nobles, and a bunch of people who are just trying to keep things running while the princesses keep an eye on the big picture.

This is the story which established the Equestrian Civil Service, a group of characters and a world which is further explored in Ghost of Heraclitus’s other writings (as well as making the occaisional guest appearance elsewhere, such as in Skywriter’s also-excellent A Princess By Any Other Name, which I have previously reviewed), and shows off Ghost of Heraclitus’s writing style and some very lovingly-crafted OCs who have brought a smile to the face of many a reader. Watching poor Dotted Line have to struggle with the madness of the world, all the while keeping up a normal front for Princess Celestia and Twilight Sparkle, is a thing of beauty, and the story as a whole is well worth your time.

Recommendation: Highly Recommended.

A Canterlot Carol

by Ghost of Heraclitus



Comedy, Slice of Life

6,464 words The business of government never stops, and paperwork never rests, even on Hearthwarming. But this particular Hearthwarming, Cabinet Secretary and tea enthusiast Dotted Line plans to do his level best to see it, at least, take a break. His ponies need to go home to their families, and he, well, he has plans this Hearthwarming.

Why I originally read it: It was recommended to me.

Review

There is an eldritch abomination in his chimney.

Prince Blueblood has insulted Mklai, the ambassador of Zebrica.

And it seems that his staff is all insistent on sticking around far too long, even though it is Hearthswarming and they should all be spending time with their families.

But Dotted Line, head of the Equestrian Civil Service, can’t let all of this just rest. He has plans this Hearthwarming, and he needs to get it all out of the way first…

This is an extremely well-written heartwarming Christmas story, in which Dotted not only explains his own view on the meaning of Christmas Hearthswarming to Mkali, but demonstrates it via his actions. We get an additional glimpse of his character, as well as the characters of Spinning Top and Leafy Salad, and see a bit more about Dotted’s working relationship with, and respect for, Princess Celestia.

But it isn’t just about fluff; the story is also funny. We start out with a laugh as we discover just what the “eldritch monstrosity” in Dotted Line’s chimney is, followed by his scene with Spinning Top as the press secretary tries to draft an apology to Mkali, then see additional humor in the scene with Mkali. Interestingly, the story’s more blatant humor tapers off towards the end, as the story gets increasingly feelsy, and at the end, we are left with a nice warm glow as we discover just what Dotted Line – and Princess Celestia – had planned for Hearthswarming, being not only told the meaning of Hearthswarming, but being shown in in action.

Incidentally, after you have read this story, Bad horse wrote an interesting breakdown of the plot structure, which you can find here, which you should also read – it will make you better understand just how the story accomplished the delivery of its theme and wove all the pieces together into a unified whole.

Recommendation: Highly Recommended.

Drinking Alone, Except with Two

by AcreuBall



Romance, Tragedy

4,794 words Whatever the problem Rarity faced, there was always a Spike and a wine for it. She was confident he had gotten over his crush on her long ago, and he had since come to be a dear friend who she relied on for support and companionship. And surely he feels the same way towards her.

Why I originally read it: I was told it was an actually, genuinely good Sparity story, and it was inspired by a scene in bookplayer’s excellent Best Young Flyer.

Review

Rarity still designed out of the Carousel Boutique but also kept apartments in Canterlot and Manehattan, which she visited frequently for fashion shows and meetings with buyers. She seemed to have a new stallion every week, and every weekend she cried her eyes out to Spike about her most recent heartbreak over a bottle of wine. Dash wasn’t sure what was going on there, but Spike was taller than a pony now and looking pretty sleek, so that was between him and Rarity. (Best Young Flyer, chapter 2)

Rarity has broken up with her latest stallion of the week and has invited Spike over to cry on his shoulder and share a glass of wine.

Spike is still infatuated with Rarity, even all these years later, but he knows that Rarity isn’t interested in him. At first, he had thought these breakups were an opportunity – a time to present Rarity with a better alternative. Now, though, he sees things for what they are – they are friends, and Rarity really is hurting.

But Rarity is scared of dying alone, and Spike isn’t really okay with their relationship, however much he might pretend otherwise. And he can’t keep up the façade forever…

This story is basically a deconstruction of “nice guy Spike eventually hooks up with Rarity”. Here, we see exactly what would happen in this sort of scenario, and see just why something like that would be terribly unhealthy.

Recommendation: Highly Recommended.

Barrelled Up

by KitsuneRisu



Comedy

1,984 words When Rarity sees Applejack hanging out by a certain building in town more and more, she can't help but to confront the little farmer and find out exactly what's going on...

Why I originally read it: It is a highly rated story featuring Rarity and Applejack.

Review

Rarity finds out that Applejack is going to the spa every week before going to sell her apples in the market and decides to join her one morning to find out exactly why.

The reason isn’t quite what she was expecting.

This is a very nice little slice of life piece, about poor Applejack having to nervously deal with Rarity going along with her to the spa and having to explain herself to her rather fancy friend. Applejack’s discomfort is obvious throughout the piece, as is her near-inability to successfully lie to or deceive someone else. Applejack is most comfortable with the truth, but she doesn’t want to mess things up for Rarity by telling her the real reason she’s going there. For such a short story, this has a pretty good number of layers to it, and the end makes me chuckle every time.

Recommendation: Highly Recommended, especially if you like RariJack.

Five Hundred Little Murders

by Estee

Sad, Slice of Life

11,285 words Flitter doesn't like most ponies. There's hardly anything in the world Flitter likes, very few which she can even remotely tolerate, and only a couple which she truly loves. Fluttershy is not in the last two categories. Flitter sees Fluttershy as weak, and weakness disgusts her. But when you're trying to help someone you love, you'll look for help in a lot of places -- including the cottage of the weakest pony in the world. And for those willing to listen past their pain, it might be the place where they start to learn what true strength is.

Why I originally read it: It was one of the first stories to be featured by the Royal Canterlot Library.

Review

Flitter disliked the Element-Bearers, but it was nothing personal. Flitter disliked just about everypony in the world, everything under Sun and Moon, the Princesses who made those last two work at all, and a universe which required them to do the job because the stupid orbs wouldn't operate on their own. Disliking the Bearers just naturally fell into the first two categories. Flitter had dislike, disdain, and contempt for just about everything that existed -- but never hatred. All of the first three emotions were casual things, the logical reaction of just about the only pony in the world who could think to the inherent stupidity of everything around her. Hatred -- well, she'd once overheard somepony saying something unbelievably stupid: that hate was love with its back turned. And the idiocy of those words was self-apparent for anypony who could think about them -- in other words, usually just her -- but it still seemed to Flitter that hate required a level of emotional and temporal commitment that she didn't care enough to give, especially since it would keep her from doing her job. And Flitter loved her job. Most ponies thought they knew what Flitter's job was: just another part of Ponyville's weather team. Naturally, those ponies were stupid. It was what she did to get the bits which were so stupidly vital for continued comfortable existence, but it wasn't work. That came when she did what she loved, and weather manipulation wasn't it. Flitter's work came after her job hours ended, and she loved it so much as to spend nearly every free waking moment at it because she was more vital to Equestria than any mere cold front breaker could ever be. The pitiful universe demanded that Flitter work as much as she possibly could and furthermore, deserved it. And so she went around at all hours making sure everypony around her got to have The Flitter Experience. Some of the ponies who had gone through The Flitter Experience believed Flitter's true occupation was Professional Bitch. Several had said it to her face. Flitter felt there had to be a better way to put it, especially since just about anything anypony else came up with was automatically stupid, and what she'd come up with after some thought was Professional Jolter. It was how she justified her mark. What did dragonflies do? They startled ponies. They came out of nowhere and made everypony jump -- well, everypony except her. Dragonflies took an ordinary day and disrupted it. They threw ponies out of their natural complacency. And that was Flitter's job.

Flitter thinks she’s God’s gift to ponydom – someone who is smarter and better than everyone else, and who is clearly the most honest pony there is. Without her around, how would anyone else know how stupid they’re being? How inept they are? And if they don’t know that, how can they ever hope to get better?

Flitter is an egocentric jerk who is bitter about the world, bitter about her lack of recognition, and bitter about her lack of friends. She thinks she’s better than everyone else, and has a sense of entitlement a mile wide. She’s jealous of her betters, and jealous of ponies who manage to be happy and apparently do things with themselves that she can’t do – but she can’t admit that to herself.

She looks down on everyone as much as possible, but the pony she looks down on the most is Fluttershy. Fluttershy is terrible at everything, and oh so weak, because kindness is weakness. And if Flitter could be bothered to hate anyone, it would be her.

The only thing she can admit to truly loving is her friend, Cloudchaser, her ability to fly, and Carnie, her pet cat. Of course, she justifies it a bit because having a carnivorous pet shakes ponies up, as that’s a bit weird itself, but she is genuinely affectionate towards her pet, and it, in turn, is affectionate towards her.

But when Carnie gets terribly ill, there is only one pony in Ponyville who can help her – and the only kind of “help” for her cat’s incurable condition is a terrible kind indeed.

This story focuses heavily on two characters. One is a very unique rendition of Flitter, who, as a background pony with no real established personality, is treated as an OC. And she’s actually quite entertaining. She’s a jerk, but the story doesn’t apologize for or justify her jerkiness at all – rather, it shows what kind of person she is, what sort of mentality she has, and how it affects her and the world around her. It pulls an interesting trick of making you empathize with someone who is a jerk, without doing the trite thing of making the jerk right. Flitter is wrong, but you care about her pain anyway, because one of the few things in the world she really does love is dying.

The other is Fluttershy, in her role as a vet, and one of the nastier parts of being a vet – knowing that an animal cannot be helped and needs to be put down. And the story examines how Flitter is wrong about kindness being weak, about Fluttershy being weak, and about what it really means to be strong.

Recommendation: Highly Recommended.

Summary

Whom the Princesses Would Destroy by Ghost of Heraclitus

Highly Recommended A Canterlot Carol by Ghost of Heraclitus

Highly Recommended Drinking Alone, Except with Two by AcreuBall

Highly Recommended Barrelled Up by KitsuneRisu

Highly Recommended Five Hundred Little Murders by Estee

Highly Recommended

Five stories, five highly recommended pieces. That leaves me with another 78 highly recommended stories I haven’t gotten around to even reviewing yet.

Better get cracking.

In the meantime, I hope you enjoy these; they’re all excellent pieces, and worth sticking at the top of your reading list.