Trump Secures Coveted White Supremacist Endorsement

Good news, racists! No longer do you have to agonize over your choices for president. David Duke, former Ku Klux Klan grand wizard, knows exactly who you should vote for. Would you believe it's Donald Trump?

We'll just have to see whether Trump brags about this little coup during the Republican debate tonight (it's at 5:30 Pacific time.)

"I’m not saying I endorse everything about Trump," Duke said. "But I do support his candidacy, and I support voting for him."

He added, "I haven’t formally endorsed him." Okay, David, I think maybe you don't know what the word "endorse" means, because it is basically saying that you support him and that people should vote for him. Anyway, thanks for the tip, your grand wizardiness.

Duke added, "it is your job now to get active...Get off your rear end that’s getting fatter and fatter...call Donald Trump’s headquarters, volunteer."

"Bleh," I said, when I read this news. "Of course he did," said my partner, who was not at all surprised. Then I showed him WHY David Duke endorsed Donald Trump, and his eyes grew large:

“He’s made it OK to talk about these incredible concerns of European Americans today, because I think European Americans know they are the only group that can’t defend their own essential interests and their point of view ... He’s meant a lot for the human rights of European Americans.”

I mean, I guess if you're famous for being a racist, you might as well lean into it? There's something to be said for laying it all out on the line so we don't have to pussyfoot around any soft bigotry.

Still, gosh, if you're a European American — a group given every possible social privilege and benefit imaginable — and you still feel like you can't defend your "essential interests," oh man, you must've fucked up real bad somewhere along the line.

Speaking of fuckups, Trump's campaign this week encouraged voters to attend a rally in "Oaklahoma City," and recently they provided media badges for reporters in "Tusla." Which is embarrassing, but nobody's voting for Trump because they want a president who's going to win The 25th Annual Putnam County Spelling Bee.

Meanwhile there's a phenomenal article on Rolling Stone right now about how Donald Trump is a con man who figured out how to grift his way through the system that we all politely pretend is a democratic election. I recommend reading it if you enjoy the feeling of despair, or if you're a citizen of another country.

See you back here tonight at 5:30.