Today’s Florida Friday story is both compelling and incredibly Florida, but before I get to the compelling, let me first lay out what was so Florida about it: a Tampa jury acquitted a man who admitted killing his wife’s lover in his own house, and one of the first quotes is about how the acquitted man and his adulterous wife are going to celebrate by going to a waffle house:

Once Wald was released from jail, she said, he had promised her a special celebration. “Because my husband puts me first, he’s taking me to the Waffle House,” Flores said.

Damn, what is it with Floridians and waffles?

Now, the rest of this isn’t quite as funny, considering it deals with, you know, being able to legally commit murder because your state has insane laws, but here goes.

It was what amounted to a happy ending for the starring couple in a tragic and inimitably Floridian morality tale involving sex, liquor, self-defense law, erectile dysfunction and a man shot to death with his pants around his knees.

THE ARISTOCRATS!

After two days of testimony in Hillsborough Circuit Court, a jury decided [retired U.S. Army Lt. Col. Ralph Wald, 70] committed no crime when he fatally shot Walter Conley, 32, a man less than half his age, on March 10. Wald woke around midnight in his Brandon home and found Conley and Johnna Lynn Flores, 41, having sex on the floor in the living room. He took a .38 revolver from his bedroom and shot Conley in the stomach and head.

If you’d asked me yesterday, I would’ve told you “You know, I’m pretty sure that’s not allowed.”