As a result of this post http://monsterhunternation.com/2015/10/02/fisking-the-new-york-times-modern-man/ where I fisked the New York Times’ article on being a Modern Man, I realized that my life has been empty. Despite the fact that I don’t eat melons, don’t really like to eat melons, and have never given a single thought to the shaping of melon balls, I would be unable to achieve MODERN MANHOOD.

But no more! BEHOLD!

Yes! That is a melon baller! Despite my never buying shoes for her, my wife purchased this for me when she saw it in a store. Because Modern Manhood ACHIEVED!

Now all I need is some Kenneth Cole oxfords and a crying pillow, and I’m set.