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ALBANY – With New York banning all large gatherings to slow the spread of the novel coronavirus, funeral directors across the state have been forced to adapt, finding new ways to ease a family’s pain at a time of loss.

The state has limited funerals — typically large gatherings made up of family and friends — to immediate family only under the New York State on PAUSE order signed by Gov. Andrew Cuomo earlier this week.

"We need everyone to be safe. Otherwise no one can be safe," Cuomo said when announcing the order last week.

But for funeral directors like Jeff Jennings, it’s been a difficult — albeit, understandable — directive to adapt to.

Funeral directors are typically the first person a family deals with after losing a loved one and having to say no to certain requests because of limitation put in place as a result of COVID-19 hasn’t been easy, he said.

“It’s hard,” Jennings, a funeral director at Jennings, Nulton & Mattle Funeral Home in Penfield, Monroe County, said.

“Our nature as funeral directors is that we know we can’t take the pain away from a family at a time of loss, but we really want to mitigate the pain as much as we can.”

To do that, funeral directors across New York have been offering families a variety of options, from postponing burials, to holding a small service now with the option of a larger gathering at a later date.

Some funeral homes have even started offering tele-services that can be streamed via the internet or allowing families to use apps like Skype and FaceTime to stream a service to loved ones unable to attend.

But while funeral homes find ways to adapt, government officials are warning that social distancing practices may continue for weeks or even months as the COVID-19 virus continues to accelerate in New York.

“While we all may want to celebrate our loved ones’ lives and memorialize them, at this time, we must continue to practice social distancing and limit large public gatherings, including at funeral services,” New York’s Attorney General Letitia James said in a statement this week.

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What exactly are the guidelines?

Funeral homes are just one of a few dozen businesses earmarked essential by the state under the state's PAUSE order.

The order directed all non-essential businesses to require their workforce to work from home or close their doors entirely. It also barred large gatherings while urging New Yorkers to practice safe social distancing of at least six feet when in public to slow the virus' spread.

In addition, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention has issued additional guidance urging people not to touch a body of someone who has died of COVID-19 and urged religious ceremonies, such as washing a body, be conducted in conjunction with funeral home personnel to reduce exposure.

Funeral directors are trained in dealing with infectious diseases, but are preceding with caution during the embalming process and stepping up in their disinfecting routines, said Mike Lanotte, executive director and CEO of the state's Funeral Directors Association.

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The big change for funeral directors, he said, has been in dealing with grieving families.

"Funeral directors are the experts in helping family members grieve through the loss of a loved one and help them kind take those first next steps after a loss," Lanotte said. "It's a new world for them as well."

And many churches have remained closed or are only opening their doors for small funeral services made up of immediate family only.

Jennifer Sullivan, the funeral director at Thomas J. Shea Funeral Home, Inc. in Binghamton, said the new restrictions have been "awful" for the families.

Sullivan said she arranged services for a large family since the new restrictions have gone into effect, but the funeral mass was restricted to just seven people.

"The church was roped off, so we were contained to a small area which was easier for the church to clean before and after – smart and necessary, but just sad for the family," she said.

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What cemeteries and crematories are doing

Cemeteries and crematories remain open, but extra safety protocols are being taken to ensure proper social distancing is maintained, said David Fleming, the legislative affairs director for the state's Association of Cemeteries.

"We try to balance the needs of the families during the pandemic, with the important needs of keeping our front-line staff healthy and accessible," Fleming said.

The association has recommended staggered shifts for workers so burials and cremations can proceed in the event a worker contracts the virus.

And cemeteries are also being directed to ask families to step away from the grave site while a casket is being placed and instructing workers to proceed with the burying only after families step away from the site.

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Cremations are also proceeding, Fleming said.

Crematories are heavily regulated in New York, and workers receive extensive training in how to prevent the spread of infectious diseases.

COVID-19, Fleming said, is being treated like any other contagion, but extra cleaning protocols are in place to ensure the safety of workers.

"All our crematory operators are certified in how to handle contagions," he said.

Jennifer Sullivan, funeral director at Thomas J. Shea Funeral Home, Inc. in Binghamton, said one funeral they held recently would have likely had hundreds of people, but it was limited to very immediate family.

"It's awful," she said. "It's so sad for families."

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Live streaming services gain traction

To accommodate for the new restrictions, funeral homes have been offering families a variety of options, including delaying a service or holding a larger gathering in the months ahead.

In Binghamton, the Hopler & Eschbach funeral home has started offering families the option of live streaming a service through its website, said Kurt Eschbach, the funeral home's owner and director.

"We knew we had to do something, so that's why developed the option of having a live-stream broadcast from our funeral home for any services," he said.

And while some smaller funeral homes don't offer such a service, they've been allowing families to stream ceremonies through apps like Skype, Zoom and even Facebook.

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But one private streaming service, Tribucast, has been designed specifically for funeral arrangements and has become an increasingly popular option for funeral homes, particularly as COVID-19 continues to spread.

"We found out...that nine out of 10 times somebody holds a funeral, there are key loved ones who can't be there, and often times families are delaying services to get them there," Bruce Likly, president of Tribucast, said.

Sales of the service — which allows private online viewing ceremonies for up to 90 days after a service and gives users the ability to personalize an interactive service with photos, stories and obituaries — have grown from around a dozen a week to 30 a day in the last week-and-a-half, Likly said.

"If you miss the funeral of a loved one, it will stick with you for years," Likly said. "So that's why we decided to start this and see what we could do to help."

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Kelly Copp, funeral director at Phillips Funeral Home in Corning and several others in the area, said arrangement conferences with families are limited to two members in person

"If anyone from the family is feeling ill or is not comfortable coming in to the funeral home to make arrangements, we will conduct arrangements over the telephone," she said.

And she added, "We are encouraging our families to plan for public memorial services at a later date when this health crisis has ended, and we will honor any services planned when that time does come."

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"There isn't much else you can do"

Still, some funeral directors feel as though they are limited in their options.

To ensure the safety of themselves and their staff, they've setup remote appointments through Zoom or Skype, and have encouraged families to reach out to local churches and cemeteries to learn what the best steps are to proceed.

Jim Caywood, funeral director at Caywood’s Funeral Home & Gardens in Elmira, said his goal is to ensure families can have a service while not spreading the virus.

"We do the majority of arranging for a service by phone or email," he said.

"The guidelines set forth allow no more than 10 people from a family to be together at one time for the services plus funeral home staff. Others are given the opportunity to be a part of those services by visiting our website."

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Earlier this week, a World War II veteran died in Poughkeepsie but the funeral services had to be limited for fear of spreading coronavirus.

"It's terrible that we could not be there to support the family,” said Marc Coviello, the director of the Dutchess County Division of Veterans Services.

In Westchester County, Peter Frisolone has been doing his best to accommodate families, but said there's not much he can do other than follow government directives.

"You just have to work with what the government is telling you," Frisolone, the funeral director of The New Rochelle Funeral Home, Inc., said.

"As much as we want to accommodate families, we just have to follow the law."

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Chad Arnold is a staff writer for the USA TODAY Network New York. He can be reached at CGARNOLD@Gannett.com and followed on Twitter: @ChadGArnold

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