Chapter Seven: Envy

Pyrrha felt a pang of something in her chest as Velvet quietly laughed at Jaune's joke, the boy grinning wildly at her reaction. It was an unknown pang, almost like longing, except with a more harsh tone to it, less sadness and more intensity.

It was a feeling that Pyrrha had been experiencing whenever she saw the two together. Not that she went out of her way to see Velvet and Jaune on their 'study dates'… but over the course of a month she ran into them together a few times. If anything Pyrrha tried to go out of her way to avoid seeing them together it made her… uncomfortable to say the least along with that unknown pang.

As of late Pyrrha had tried to replace the time she'd spend helping Jaune study with Ruby. The younger girl was immensely grateful for the help, even her hard-to-please-white-haired partner had thanked Pyrrha for helping the young team leader out. It was an interesting change of pace for Pyrrha; studying with Jaune had been a quieter affair, with him listening and occasionally asking questions… even if Pyrrha had to prod him to do it when it was clear he was lost.

Ruby on the other hand was a far more… interactive experience. The younger redhead was far more energetic despite how dull studying could be, although Ruby could get distracted at the drop of a hat. Most certainly a change of pace.

Speaking of which, where is she? Pyrrha was headed to the library to help Ruby study, yet Ruby was nowhere to be found. Pyrrha had thought the girl would be at their usual table near the giant window, yet she was nowhere to be seen. She did say she was here already, Pyrrha thought as she double checked the message she had received on her scroll. So where is she?

Sending a quick text to Ruby, Pyrrha made another search through the library. Slowly, she worked her way through the aisles of bookcases, quietly peeking into unused study rooms, all while avoiding a certain corner of the library.

I'll just take a quick look, that's all I need to do. The teen gave the briefest of glances to the corner she had been avoiding. The imagery had changed, as a certain blond and rabbit faunus' heads leaned against each other as they quietly talked.

The unfamiliar pang from earlier swelled back up in Pyrrha's chest at the sight. It felt like something akin to anger but less intense. Like her breath was caught in the bottom of her throat. It made her feel like lashing out, not in rage but just because she could, because the world was being unfair to her.

Pyrrha barely noticed as a red blur appeared next to her, "I'm really sorry! I had t-" Pyrrha realized that in her absent-mindedness, she no longer had the customary smile or even a forced on her face. "A-a-are you okay?" No. No I am not. The problem was Pyrrha didn't know what exactly was wrong, just that it made her swell with a uncontrollable emotion. Whatever it was, it made her want to hit something badly.

The older girl turned almost robotically to Ruby, "I just realized I have to do some last minute combat practice, excuse me." With that said, she started to briskly walk away.

"Wait!" a hand grabbed her shoulder, "I-I-I could be your sparring partner, if that's okay?" Pyrrha raised an eyebrow, "I'm not gonna get anything else done anyways…"

Pyrrha gave the younger girl a quick glance. Ruby is ranked fairly high in our year for combat expertise…

"Fine."

Milo and Crescent Rose clashed, the impact of steel on steel ringing throughout the empty room, the two weapons sliding away from each other. They met again, Crescent Rose sliding into a slightly more awkward position, Milo forcing it back.

For once Pyrrha wasn't holding back. She wanted to hurt something and something, or rather someone, had volunteered to spar with her. Without having to consciously hold herself back, her brain was free to wander instead of worry for her opponent's safety.

Why does seeing those two together make me feel like…like this?

Just thinking of Velvet and Jaune leaning on each other at the library caused her to feel that sharp... pain in her gut. It's not anger, then what is it? The fact that Pyrrha didn't know was driving her up a wall.

Pyrrha was precise. Pyrrha was always in control. To not know what she was feeling meant that there was something she couldn't control. That was infuriating on a personal level to her. Her very combat style was about controlling what the opponent does, through subtle alterations.

The fact she still couldn't define what Jaune was to her, why she had a crush on him, was something that annoyed her endlessly. The fact that Pyrrha still didn't fully understand why she wanted him to notice her, wanted Jaune Arc to ask her, Pyrrha Nikos, out when there seemed to be no reason was beyond aggravating.

It was unacceptable.

Why couldn't have it be me? Pyrrha blocked a swipe with Akoúo before counter attacking Ruby with a jab from Milo, why did it have to be her and not me? Why? WHY?!

Akoúo slammed into Crescent Rose, knocking the weapon out of Ruby's hands. Pyrrha stewed in her thoughts as she waited for the match to renew. What does she have that I don't, what does Velvet have that Pyrrha Nikos doesn't? The answer was simple.

She has Jaune.

The pang of hostility returned in full force as it suddenly clicked.

Am I really that envious?

The thought that envy was driving this… this rage in her caused Pyrrha to stop. I am aren't I? The thoughts went from outward hostility to inward hostility.

This is really petty.

Pyrrha's attacks lost their intensity as she turned over the new thoughts. Envy implies that I want something… or someone. But that brings me back to the question of why do I want Jaune… why do I want to be with him?

Her thoughts went back to the previous few weeks. I might want him, but just the fact that he is with someone else shouldn't make me this… this angry! The focus shifted as Pyrrha tried to go to the root of the issue.

What did he give me? Pyrrha thought back to when they first met. He didn't judge me for being famous… he didn't treat me differently, but has to be more than that, right? Nora and Ren don't judge me nor does Ruby.

Pyrrha blocked a sweeping strike from Ruby with Akoúo, the force of the blow pushing her back a few inches as Pyrrha went on the defensive.

Jaune is my partner and my friend... and I may be a little… infatuated with him, but why does seeing him with someone else cause such envy? If it was purely envy alone, I would have felt that for Weiss. Pyrrha grimaced at the thought, well, more than I did feel at any rate.

Pyrrha followed the line of thought as she was pushed further and further back, Ruby going almost entirely on the offensive. As Pyrrha's back touched the wall, she had another realization; why she felt this… this envy for what Velvet had.

Velvet had something, something that Pyrrha had desired more than any victory she had achieved, more than getting placed on Jaune's team or being his partner.

Velvet was no longer alone.

Pyrrha was envious that Velvet was no longer alone in the world, that she had someone who wanted to share his life with her. It was the end result that Pyrrha strived for with Jaune, yet she hadn't achieved it. In fact, with Jaune spending less and less time with Pyrrha, she felt more alone then she ever had.

Yet Velvet and Jaune were no longer alone.

The thought brought back some intensity into Pyrrha's moves, pushing Ruby back on to the defensive. It wasn't being in a relationship that drove this envy in Pyrrha, it was the feeling of isolation, the feeling that one of her few lifelines of real human contact were slipping away from her.

Am I really that alone?

It was a type of question Pyrrha had never asked herself directly. Her thoughts flashed back to Sanctum, of the comradery she felt when she joined before she started to win the tournaments, before her 'friends' stopped even sparring with her. They would claim I was too out of their league for it to be even fair. The look of familiarity, of teasing fun leaving her friends' eyes replaced instead solely with distant admiration. When did they stop approaching me as an equal and as only fans? Pyrrha shook her head slightly. I suppose I was alone.

Jaune flashed into head, then Nora and Ren. Team JNPR, Pyrrha's team. Her friends. Not quite, Ruby popped into her head. Four people who Pyrrha would say were her friends. Yet Jaune's image faded, as if he was walking away. Another image appeared, much further away, at the destination Jaune's image was headed, Velvet.

Memories of her friends at Sanctum slowly going from friend to fan as they distance themselves rapidly flashed in her head, of how each of her life lines to another person slowly fell apart until she felt like a stranger in her own school.

I don't want to be alone again! Ruby was completely on the defensive as Pyrrha pushed, and pushed against the younger girl, hammering Milo against Crescent Rose again and again. I might be envious of Velvet, but is it really so bad to not to want to be alone?

It is if I'm going to hurt someone.

With that realization, any anger she had faded as Ruby cut through what little remaining aura Pyrrha had, sending Pyrrha's aura into the red. A thought lingered in Pyrrha's mind as the automated machine announced Ruby Rose the victor.

I just don't want to be alone again.

Editor: ASouthernRussian

AU: Well that was emotional to say the least. Hopefully Pyrrha will be okay... hopefully. This was a intense chapter to write, and it changed a few times as I wrote it but I'm back to the usual schedule of chapters I have planned now. So that is pretty good I think.

In my opinion this was easily the most complex chapter currently in the story.