I’m Sad About Animals All The Time

I am a committed animal rights activist, but the feeling of hopelessness I have about this cause is starting to get to me…

Photo by Elmira Gokoryan on Unsplash

Dear Nice Vegan,

I’m a committed animal rights activist. I stopped eating meat when I was seven — moments after my mom explained that chicken was actually, well, chickens — and never looked back, going fully vegan when I was 16. I have attended protests, vigils, and I have an Instagram account devoted to vegan activism (and occasionally a delicious vegan donut). I don’t work full-time for animal rights, but I spend many nights and weekends volunteering for animal-rights organizations, and my social life is dominated by mingling with other activists (usually at protests and vegan events).

My problem is that… I’m really sad. All the time.

I think constantly about the people around me who still eat meat and seemingly approve of the torture and cruelty inflicted on animals by the industrial animal farming industry. I want to scream every time one of my few remaining non-vegan friends posts something about homeless dogs or a petition to stop someone from shooting tigers when they still eat meat every single day. I know I’m alienating people I love (because they’ve told me that I am), but it’s not because I feel like I’m better than them. I just want to help the animals, and I can’t stand that they don’t care.

When I think too much about the scale of the cruelty — billions and billions of animals — I just break down in tears. I’ve been considering therapy, but I’m honestly terrified that they might make fun of me for being so sensitive or just not understand where I’m coming from at all. Do you have any advice for me?

Signed,

Debbie Downer

Dear Debbie,

I really wish I could give you a hug! I want to say first that I can tell from your letter that you are incredibly brave, compassionate, and thoughtful — and I know you’re going to get through this. The feelings you’re having are totally valid, and you’re probably not as alone as you think. Many activists of all types experience this kind of burnout and depression.

I want to start with your last thought first. I do think you should consider seeing a therapist, but I also don’t think your fear about them is unreasonable. Not all doctors are great at understanding outside-of-the-box thinking, and if you make an appointment with the closest therapist on Google, you may indeed find yourself with someone who really doesn’t understand your ethical vegan mindset. What you need is a real human recommendation from someone who’s seen a therapist who might be a good fit for you. This could ideally come from someone in your animal rights circles — I don’t think you necessarily need a vegan therapist specifically, but they do exist and might be even more helpful to you specifically. I know it’s kind of scary to ask people for a therapist recommendation, but it’s way more common than you might think — and anyone worth being friends with is never going to judge you for it. Depending on how shy you’re feeling, you could ask people one on one or just make a post on a local vegan facebook group asking for recommendations.

Don’t be afraid to shop for a therapist that works for you —if you see someone you don’t like, don’t go back! Your therapist should be able to make you feel fairly at ease on your first visit, and sometimes the chemistry is just not right. I know it’s daunting, but I think it will be incredibly worthwhile for you to have a structured way to start working through this with a person you feel you can really truly trust. I definitely know I can’t solve it for you here, but I do have some more ideas.

In general, I think you can and should think about how to look to your existing community for more emotional support. A lot of folks who do the kind of activism and believe in the things you believe in are definitely experiencing similar feelings. Y’all may not be talking about it when you’re on the picket line, but if you have some closer friends who are also involved in activism, I think it’s time to confide in them. My prediction is that you’ll find that many of them are experiencing very similar emotions.

That said, I also think that something which might be key for you here is to figure out how to take real breaks and expand your hobbies to some things that have nothing to do with animal activism at all. If you’re operating an Instagram account and looking at activists’ photos of hurt animals all day and attending protests and volunteering nights and weekend, you’re not leaving a lot of time outside of work to think about anything BUT the animals. And as you’ve realized, that kind of buildup is not actually making you a better advocate — it’s making you feel bitter, resentful, and sad. Before you explode, you need outlets to give your brain and your big, big heart a break from this work so you can come back to it refreshed and renewed when you’re ready.

Think about something you like, or have always been interested in, that truly has nothing to do with animals — seeing live music? Comedy? A pottery class? Whatever it is, try to dedicate at least one night every week to just that. No browsing activist Instagram or participating in discussions on vegan Facebook that night. No trying to convince your new classmates to go vegan or obsessing over the band’s politics. Just let yourself completely enjoy something that isn’t “for the animals,” but is for you. You’re an animal too, after all — live your life enjoying the freedom you think we all deserve. I know you’re a passionate activist who wants to do as much as you can, but you’ll truly be able to do more and better things for animals if you’re balanced.

I don’t have one magical method for making the sadness of caring about animals in a world that doesn’t go away. We all experience it, sometimes in crashing waves or sometimes in small passing moments. What helps me is realizing that I’m not alone (thanks to people like you!), realizing that there are thousands of people dedicated to helping reduce the cruelty we inflict on other species — whether it’s with activism or cooking delicious vegan food or making a place in their home for a rescued pig. Take care of yourself, I need you!

Love,

Summer Anne (A Nice Vegan)

P.S. More tips on self-care for activists at Bitch.