Savage Love Letter of the Day: Potential Perfect Boyfriend Mocks Handsome Gay's Small Cock

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I am a pretty handsome gay (I have been told often) and I am dating a really gorgeous man. I am 34 and he is 31. I am bottom only and he is top only. So it's already a good match. He seems sincerely interested in me and we are talking about being together. But here is the thing: He noticed that I have a rather small penis. I must admit that I am a bit under the average and that his dick is quite big and long. Since he discovered this, he fancies about "humiliating" me about my "small peepee" as he says. He would even like me to show it to his friends once we would have them for dinner. I am not ashamed of the size of my penis because it's how I am made and I can't change it. But I wonder what this idea means for him. I would somehow understand that he would put me down if he would himself have suffered from a "small dick complex", but since he is so well-endowed, I don't fully get it. Is it a frequent turn on for some top guys to imagine that their partner is smaller than them? Is it common? Does it hide something else maybe? Sexy Person Humiliated P.S. English is not my mother tongue, that is why this may seem a bit messy. I apologize for this.

Your English is fine, SPH. It's your boyfriend that's messy.

Small Penis Humiliation—SPH—is a kink and, of course, a porn genre. There are over 76,000 SPH-themed porn videos on XTube alone, SPH, and XTube is just one of the various and sundry porn tubes out there destroying the porn industry and just generally ruining everything for everyone. Over at PornHub, there are SPH vids that have over two million views. That's all anecdote, SPH, and no data, but it's enough to confirm that, yes, Small Penis Humiliation is a thing. And it can be a very good thing for guys whose erotic imaginations transform—or transubstantiate maybe?—their anxieties about having small dicks into satisfying and pleasurable kinks.

But you're not one of those guys, SPH. You like your dick, and have the right attitude about it, one that all men everywhere, regardless of size, should adopt: your dick is your dick and you can't change it—and big or small, your dick has all the same nerve endings as the dick of the guy who might be your boyfriend someday (but is definitely an insensitive, presumptuous asshole right now).

As with bondage, cuckolding, foot fetishes, diapers, etc., subs are way more common than tops—so it's usually the guy with the small dick who initiates small penis humiliation games with his partner, SPH, not the boyfriend with the bigger dick and/or the girlfriend with the pussy and/or the bigger dick. (Some women have penises, some men have vaginas, some women have penises, some men have vaginas.) While there are certainly SPH tops out there—just as there are bondage tops (half of whom are frustrated subs) and women seeking cuckolds—their numbers are far smaller.

But the issue here isn't stumbling over a small penis humiliation top in the wild, SPH, but whether or not you're into small penis humiliation. Are you into power play? Do you like being degraded? Does the thought of this dude ordering you to show your dick to his friends at a dinner party turn you on in any way? If the answer is no, no, and FUCK NO, then that's the only answer that matters. If the answer is maybe, maybe, and maybe, SPH, but only under the right circumstances, then talk it over with your potential boyfriend/actual asshole, work out when, where, and how you're willing to indulge this dude's SPH kink, and let the shaming games begin.

Listen to my podcast, the Savage Lovecast, at www.savagelovecast.com Impeach the motherfucker already! Get your ITMFA buttons, t-shirts, hats and lapel pins and coffee mugs at www.ITMFA.org! Tickets to HUMP 2017 are on sale now! Get them here!