New Evidence Suggests Early Christians Wore Favorite NFL Jerseys To Church Every Sunday

ISRAEL—New evidence unearthed in ancient Israel has recently confirmed what Bible scholars long suspected: that early Christians wore the jersey of their favorite NFL team to church every Sunday to show their support during the time of worshiping King Jesus.

"It seems that while Sundays were dedicated to the preaching of the Word, the singing of songs, and prayer, Christians also devoted a significant portion of their Sunday to cheering for their favorite NFL team," said Dr. Frank T. Parson. "So it only made sense for them to wear a loud, colorful football jersey into the service."

The early church was often in hiding from persecution, of course. So Christians would wear their football jerseys under a cloak while sneaking to the location of a secret house church. "Once they arrived, they'd take off their outer garment and reveal their Packers or Vikings jersey, signifying they were now ready to worship the Most High."

Theologians believe wearing an NFL jersey helps you focus on the worship music and the sermon much more effectively. "This is probably why the practice has been passed down from the early church to us today."

Get Free Access To Our Brand New Site: Not the Bee After creating The Babylon Bee in six literal days, Adam Ford rested. But he rests no longer. Introducing Not the Bee — a brand new humor-based news site run by Adam himself. It's loaded with funny content and all the best features of a social network. And the best part? Everyone with a subscription to The Bee gets full access at no extra cost. Get FREE Access *with premium subscription to The Babylon Bee