You've heard the phrase "desperate times call for desperate measures." Or, to put it another way: "You gotta fight crazy with crazy." We've told you about the times when pigeon-guided missiles , fake oceans of fire , and deranged magicians ended up being deployed against the Nazis, but those were, if anything, the tamer plans -- the wacky ideas thrown out at the start of the brainstorm, before shit got desperate and weird. These schemes? These are the later ones from the tail end of the meeting, when Lucy from HR started drawing dicks on the notes and Ted from accounting wouldn't stop screaming.

5 Secretly Dosing Hitler With Estrogen to Make Him More Girlish

German Federal Archive

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Say it's World War II, you are the British secret service, and you've made contact with one of the gardeners who tends Adolf Hitler's personal vegetable patch. Not only that, but the gardener is willing to give you access to the Fuhrer's food supply. What do you do with this information? If you said "turn Hitler into a woman," then you're corr- wait, that can't be right.

Reddit

Finally, the /r/titler section of Reddit justifies its existence.

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Yep, the Allies hatched a plan to inject estrogen into Hitler's food and turn him from a devilish fuhrer into a delicate flower. To be fair, poisoning the food of a paranoid dictator with a legion of tasters would have been a waste of some perfectly good cyanide, plus quite a few Allied leaders thought that whacking Adolf would actually help the Germans, since his "strategic blundering made him more of an asset to the Allies alive than dead." And so the British and American agencies settled for a substance that wouldn't be detected right away, but would have devastating long-term effects: namely, female sex hormones. The idea was to make Hitler less aggressive and more like his timid younger sister Paula, because this was the 1940s: before we'd really cornered the market on genetics, but well after we'd mastered misogyny.

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According to their intelligence, Hitler's sexual alignment was already pretty dubious, so the Allies felt he just needed a gentle nudge to embrace full womanhood. As an added bonus, the chemicals would cause Hitler's hair to fall out and make his voice go all high-pitched and feminine, thereby ruining all of his dramatic, screamo speeches.