“If we would just close more hospitals down and build more bomb factories, we could save lots of lives.” suggested William Kristol of The Weekly Standard. He was referring to a new report by the World Health Organization (WHO) noting that iatrogenic deaths (or “incidents”) — deaths caused by medical treatment — dropped remarkably last month worldwide. This is the silver lining that nobody is discussing about the hospital bombings.

UNITED STATES BUCKS THE TREND

Since the expansion of health care coverage in the United States, the death rate from medical care has skyrocketed. It continues to inch-up even as the rest of the world wakes up to the dangers of treatment.

This article is from the parody section, as if you can’t tell.

This chart from the Census Bureau [PDF] seems to indicate that expanded domestic medical coverage under “Obamacare” appears to be correlated to medical deaths. The more coverage is expanded, the more people die from medicine. Figures for 2015 have not yet been released.

“Don’t expect to ever see those 2015 figures,” said former Republican presidential candidate Marco Rubio. “Obama knows exactly what he is doing and nothing is more damning than the 2015 increase in the United States — not even the 28 pages about 9-11. That’s child’s play compared to this.” Marco Rubio has a master’s degree in Child’s Play.

Faced with so much criticism, the White House released a statement:

Technological advancement is great. We can view terrorists naked in the heartland from space right through their clothes and houses. We can record every piece of information on the internet and save it permanently against the unsuspecting terrorists. We can see the mint mark on a dime in Kansas City from our camera in the South China Sea. But the one thing we haven’t gotten quite right yet is telling a hospital from an invading army. We’re working on that.

UNITED NATIONS SIDES WITH OBAMA

Reacting in an effort to minimize the WHO report findings, “The United Nations Security Council voted unanimously on Tuesday to reaffirm to itself and the rest of the UN’s member states that they shouldn’t bomb medical facilities or kill doctors,” according to Vice.com.

“It’s a conspiracy by every nation in the world to take away our freedom, our guns, and even our lives by the center of global governance,” warned Glenn Beck. The United Nations Security Council includes eleven nations.

OTHER REACTION

Hearing of this WHO report, Russian strongman Vladimir Putin became pro-active in bombing every hospital around — including a few that did not even exist.

Just this week, a man in Utah was sentenced to prison for failing to carry-out a threat to bomb a hospital. No lives were saved. A petition was made to Change.org demanding the release of this potential hospital bomber in order to save lives from the Obama conspiracy to kill everyone through big government health care.