It only took a second’s glance at the happy couple for all cynicism to be swept away. You didn’t have to know them personally to see how much it meant to them. There, side by side, on this, the happiest day of their lives. Sprinkled with stardust, maybe, but just two regular down-to-earth people too. Just Eamonn and Ruth. Ruth and Eamonn.

“Welcome to Windsor,” Eamonn had beamed at the top of ITV’s This Morning Royal Wedding Special, fully an hour-and-a-half before the service started. “Welcome, on this historic morning.”

And he was right. Ever since the BBC turned down the chance to broadcast live coverage of the marriage of an art gallery director and a tequila salesman, this would indeed be an historic morning, not just for Eamonn Holmes and Ruth Langsford, but for Big Brother’s Alison Hammond too, down on Windsor High Street with some Portuguese tourists waving plastic Union Jacks. It was a historic morning for the whole of ITV, and it would not be dimmed even by the sound of the Perspex windows of their temporary studio reverberating in the Storm Callum winds.

And they were just so very, very down to earth. So down to earth in fact, that, in a short pre-recorded segment, they had even been agreed to be interviewed by Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank at Buckingham Palace. Yes, that really did happen. It had, ostensibly been meant to be the other way around but about two minutes into the three-minute package, Eamonn and Ruth really did enquire of the ninth in line to the throne on the occasion of her wedding, whether, “There’s anything you’d like to ask us?”

“Erm…” Jack managed to reply, just after the silence had bounced against the back wall at the outer reaches of the universe and crept back in through the palace window. “What’s, err, what’s err, what’s it like working together?”

Because that’s just what you need to know, the day before your wedding to a member of the Royal Family: What are the challenges of presenting daytime TV as a married couple?

That would nevertheless mark the high point of what would be a full 95 minutes of pre-wedding royal wedding special which was, as they say, all filler, no killer.

Traditionally, at this hour, ITV viewers can expect to get the chance to call TV’s Dr Ranj Singh and regale him with their their latest sexual health woes or, at the very least, watch the live grilling of a prawn kebab lightly marinated in garlic and chilli oil.

It’s possible then, perhaps indeed probable, that many of them will have in fact have been disappointed to instead see Eamonn Holmes breathlessly terminate an interview with three teenage scoliosis sufferers, who had benefited from one of the charities Princess Eugenie supports, to bring the nation live pictures of Robbie Williams’s mother-in-law’s hat blowing off. But we shall never know.

Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Show all 40 1 /40 Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank kiss as they leave St George's Chapel after their wedding at Windsor Castle AP Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures US actress Liv Tyler, her husband Dave Gardner, Kate Moss and her daughter Lila attend PA Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures The bridesmaids arrive for the wedding of Princess Eugenie to Jack Brooksbank at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle. PA Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Jack Brooksbank arrives ahead of the wedding of Princess Eugenie of York and Mr. Jack Brooksbank at St. George's Chapel on October 12, 2018 in Windsor, England. Getty Images Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures British model Naomi Campbell arrives AFP/Getty Images Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures The Duke of York and Princess Eugenie arrive for her wedding to Jack Brooksbank at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle. PA Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Stephen Fry, right, arrives with his husband Elliott Spencer AP Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Sarah, Duchess of York, arrives for the wedding of Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle, Windsor. PA Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Princess Eugenie arrives accompanied by the Duke of York, at St George's Chapel for her wedding to Jack Brooksbank in Windsor Castle. PA Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures WINDSOR, ENGLAND - OCTOBER 12: Prince Andrew, the Duke of York arrives with Princess Eugenie for her wedding to Jack Brooksbank at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle on October 12, 2018 in Windsor, England. (Photo by Victoria Jones - WPA Pool/Getty Images) BESTPIX WPA Pool Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Demi Moore attends the wedding Getty Images Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Princess Eugenie of York arrives for her marriage to Jack Brooksbank at St George's Chapel, Windsor Castle, near London REUTERS Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures The Duke of York walks his daughter Princess Eugenie down the aisle for her wedding to Jack Brooksbank at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle, REUTERS Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures The bridesmaids and page boys, including Prince George and Princess Charlotte, arrive for the wedding PA Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Princess Eugenie of York passes her bouquet to bridesmaid Savannah Phillips during her wedding to Jack Brooksbank at St. George's Chapel on October 12, 2018 in Windsor, England. Getty Images Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge with the Duke and Duchess of Sussex at the wedding of Princess Eugenie to Jack Brooksbank at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle, Windsor, Britain, REUTERS Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Members of the public wait for the wedding PA Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Princess Eugenie of York and Jack Brooksbank walk up the aisle at St George's Chapel in Windsor following their wedding on October 12, 2018 in Windsor, England. Getty Images Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures The wedding cake created by Sophie Cabot for the wedding REUTERS Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Princess Eugenie of York passes her bouquet to bridesmaid Savannah Phillips during her wedding to Jack Brooksbank at St. George's Chapel on October 12, 2018 in Windsor, England. Getty Images Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Princess Eugenie of York and Mr. Jack Brooksbank are married by Dean of Windsor, David Conner at St. George's Chapel on October 12, 2018 in Windsor, England. Getty Images Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures A Royal fan smiles outside Windsor Castle AP Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Princess Eugenie of York and Mr. Jack Brooksbank are married at St. George's Chapel on October 12, 2018 in Windsor, England. Getty Images Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Guests at the wedding ceremony of Princess Eugenie to Jack Brooksbank at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle. PA Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Princess Eugenie and her husband Jack Brooksbank, during their wedding ceremony at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle. PA Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Princess Eugenie and Jack Brooksbank walks down the aisle of the Quire after they were married PA Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Princess Eugenie of York and her husband Jack Brooksbank emerge from the West Door of St George's Chapel AFP/Getty Images Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Princess Eugenie and her new husband Jack Brooksbank kiss as they leave St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle following their wedding. PA Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures PABest Autumn Phillips, with Peter Phillips, Zara Tindall, and Mike Tindal, hold onto their hats as they arrive for the wedding of Princess Eugenie of York and Jack Brooksbank in St George's Chapel, Windsor Castle. PRESS ASSOCIATION Photo. Picture date: Friday October 12, 2018. See PA story ROYAL Wedding. Photo credit should read: Alastair Grant/PA Wire Alastair Grant PA Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Queen Elizabeth II and Prince Philip, Duke of Edinburgh look on after the wedding Getty Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Princess Eugenie and her new husband Jack Brooksbank leave St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle following their wedding. PA Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Britain's Princess Eugenie of York and her husband Jack Brooksbank leave in a carriage after their wedding ceremony at Windsor Castle, Windsor, Britain REUTERS Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Sarah, Duchess of York and Princess Beatrice of York and the bridesmaids and page boys, including Princess Charlotte and Prince George, wave off Princess Eugenie of York and Mr. Jack Brooksbank following their wedding at St. George's Chapel on October 12, 2018 in Windsor, England. Getty Images Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Newlyweds Princess Eugenie of York and Mr. Jack Brooksbank wave to the crowds from their carriage after their Royal wedding at St. George's Chapel on October 12, 2018 in Windsor, England. Getty Images Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Britain's Princess Eugenie of York and her husband Jack Brooksbank leave in a carriage after their wedding ceremony at Windsor Castle, Windsor, Britain Reuters Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Jack Brooksbank and Princess Eugenie of York in a carriage after their wedding at St George's Chapel in Windsor Castle, Windsor, Britain Reuters Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Britain's Princess Eugenie and her husband Jack Brooksbank (unseen) ride in a horse-drawn carriage after their royal wedding ceremony in St George's Chapel at Windsor Castle, in Windsor, Britain EPA Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures An onlooker is seen watching from a window of a building inside Windsor Castle AFP/Getty Images Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Princess Eugenie of York reacts as she and and her husband Jack Brooksbank walk to an Aston Martin DB10 as they leave Windsor Castle AFP/Getty Princess Eugenie marries Jack Brooksbank - in pictures Jack Brooksbank and Princess Beatrice help Princess Eugenie in her car as she leaves Windsor Castle after her wedding for an evening reception at Royal Lodge PA

Which brings us conveniently on to the day’s minor characters. Little is known about Princess Eugenie of York and her now husband Jack Brooksbank. Given an already very short interview with them could only be sustained beyond the 120-second mark by the interviewers asking the interviewees if they had any questions themselves, it may be that there simply is very little to know to about them – but if anything bore testament to their characters it was the scale and ambition of the guest list.

Princess Eugenie is a mere 28 years old. Her husband only 32, and here to celebrate with them were fully 850 of their very closest friends. The singer Ricky Martin was there, Liv Tyler, Holly Valance, Ellie Goulding, you name it. Even Stephen Fry, a man very close to twice the age of the bride and groom, which just shows how kind and gregarious and outgoing they are.

The former Blue Peter presenter Richard Bacon dropped by the ITV studio on his way in, and when asked how he knew the happy couple, paused, waited and then when the ground beneath him alas failed to swallow him up said, “From, err, various social occasions,” and then, by way of context: “We first met in Miami at 3am.”

Indeed, if so many of the faces seemed familiar, that might be because they would be familiar to anyone who has ever glanced at the celebrity party pages of a newspaper at any point in the past 10 years.

As Jimmy Carr made his way into the chapel, it occurred to me that the most recent time I have personally laid eyes on him was when he had arrived at an afterparty for a party he had not been invited to, and immediately began questioning the host about why he had not been invited.

In the build-up to the event, questions had been asked about the necessity of the estimated £2m security bill, but, perish the thought, if anything had happened in that grand chapel, it would have spelt the instantaneous end of the entire British canapé industry. The mini Yorkshire pudding and the thin slither of roast beef and horseradish that lies within consigned suddenly to history.

Anyway. It’s their special day, Eugenie and Jack, so it would be unkind to dwell too long on the decision to take a reading from The Great Gatsby, and the wonder of Gatsby’s smile, which anyone who has troubled not even the novel but merely the movie will surely know is a smile that presages a monumental con job.

“It was one of those rare smiles with a quality of eternal reassurance in it,” sister and maid of honour Princess Beatrice read, doing her best to emit one herself, and I think I have the words down right. “It was a smile that seemed to say, ‘Now listen up Boycie. I’ve got some genuine Russian ex-military camcorders in the back of the van. They usually go for a hundred a piece but I’ll let you have one for a tenner.’”

All of which means we have run out of space to dwell too long on the dress or the page boys or the flower girls or the hats or Harry and Meghan or Wills and Kate or the Queen or Prince Philip or the fundamental questions of the occasion. Of why on earth anyone is meant to be even remotely interested in the wedding of a very, very uninteresting young woman and a very posh tequila salesman who, on the occasion of his own wedding, was described as “a charming boy and all that but not the most intelligent” by none other than his own grandmother.