Today, journalists confirmed that Conan the Hero Dog is, in fact, a girl (before DoD officials confirmed that Conan the Hero Dog is, in fact, a boy). We’re honestly not sure what sex Conan is (apparently nobody knows that there’s a pretty easy way to tell the difference between males and females).

But at least one person was more than happy to learn that Conan is a girl. That person tweeted out a quintessentially Resistance-y take and when @neontaster saw it, he couldn’t pass up the chance to have some fun:

Let's play a little game: See if you can guess who tweeted this. pic.twitter.com/1RvRYRNyzz — NeoN: Automataster (@neontaster) November 26, 2019

Here were some of the guesses:

Okay, not going to look this up. I'm going to go with either Jessica Valenti or Lauren Duca. — Brandon Morse (@TheBrandonMorse) November 26, 2019

$100 bucks says Lauren Duca — Michael Sanislo (@sparktherevolt) November 26, 2019

charlotte clymer — this is my burner (@this_burner_) November 26, 2019

Ana Navarro — KE Higgins (@higgins_ke) November 26, 2019

Noted Conservative Columnist Jennifer Rubin. — N. Bourbaki (@d08890) November 26, 2019

Good guesses, all. But there can only be one … and his name is Bill Kristol.

A few people got it. pic.twitter.com/DvwdEQanMI — NeoN: Automataster (@neontaster) November 26, 2019

Guys:

It figures Conan would be a girl, since it’s only the women who seem reliably willing to stand up against terrible authoritarian behavior. https://t.co/sy0Wk1la9V — Bill Kristol (@BillKristol) November 26, 2019

Wherever the line between reality and parody was, Bill Kristol crossed it ages ago. There’s no coming back from this.

Every time you talk, you embarrass yourself a little more — Greg Price (@greg_price11) November 26, 2019

What you’ve become is embarrassing. — (((Jason Rantz))) on KTTH Radio (@jasonrantz) November 26, 2019

This is embarrassing. — KilroyFSU (@KilroyFSU) November 26, 2019

this is some seriously cringy boomer garbage https://t.co/KgMiZfiIjT — Caleb Hull ??? (@CalebJHull) November 26, 2019

Not sure what Bill’s gonna do if it turns out that Conan is actually unequivocally male. He might literally just explode.