Michael Bellavia

"I’d always promised myself I’d be a dad by the time I was 40. By 41 I realized I’d

been a self-indulgent gay and that I wasn’t just going to wake up pregnant. I pursued adoption first and completed the certification process but I still felt that

biological tug. I asked a single lesbian friend if she’d be interested in donating eggs. She agreed and I started the hunt for a gestational surrogate.

"After interviewing a bunch and some false starts, I found one who embraced the process: a military wife who was born in Iraq but now lived in San Diego with her husband and two kids.

"During the IVF process, my egg friend decided she’d like to be more involved. It wasn’t unexpected as I’d left the door open to co-parenting, which is like what a divorced couple does — except ours was by design. Oh, and during the process, my friend started dating another woman and they got married after same-sex marriage became legal.

"Now 10 months later, Dominik has no clue about the convoluted backstory to how he got here. He just knows that he’s surrounded by tons of love and, yes, a bunch of

gays who are gaga for him."

—Michael Bellavia, via email