You know you have screwed up when you find yourself attempting to stealthily re-brand something that you publicly re-branded just days earlier. But that is the reality facing ASSoL administrators at George Mason University School of Law.

Last week, officials at George Mason announced they were changing the name of the law school to “Antonin Scalia School of Law at George Mason.” The internet, as a collective whole, immediately seized upon the new acronym and called the school “ASSLaw” or “ASSoL,” depending on your view about the use of the word “of” in acronyms.

Now, the school would like you to pretend that last week never happened. In a letter announcing the name change to students and alumni (posted in full on the next page), ASSLaw dean Henry N. Butler tried what I think was an apology to alumni who found out about the name from places like Above the Law instead of from the school itself. But he also slipped in this paragraph:

Under the terms of the anonymous gift, we are authorized to use a variety of different names. The name initially announced – The Antonin Scalia School of Law – has caused some acronym controversy on social media. The Antonin Scalia Law School is a logical substitute. We anticipate the naming will be effective on July 1, 2016 pending final approval by the State Council of Higher Education for Virginia (SCHEV).

No… that’s not how the internet works at all. ASSoL deans at George Mason are about to learn a very practical lesson about the Streisand Effect. Attempting to remove or hide something on the internet just draws more attention to the thing that you are trying to remove or hide.

The school’s name is ASSLaw now, and everything that they do to change it will just reinforce the initial acronym. Google is already learning that when you type “George Mason’s law school,” you mean “ASSLaw.” Take this story on the WSJ Law Blog: the Wall Street Journal would have never referenced ASSLaw, even obliquely as they do here, but for the fact that George Mason’s struggle against it is now, itself, a “story.” And they link out (not to Above the Law’s story, which they should have, instead of being dicks about it) to a full discussion of ASSoL. Google sees all of that. It won’t ever be able to distinguish Antonin Scalia School of Law and Antonin Scalia Law School, because there is no difference.

The name ASSLaw will also stick because it is a PERFECT way to describe a law school that just renamed itself after a famously acerbic Supreme Court justice who courted a ton of controversy. George Mason wanted to associate itself with a conservative law mascot, and now they’re getting everything that comes with it. That includes a lot of liberal media types who think “What an ASSoL” every time Scalia’s name comes up anyway.

George Mason has no one but themselves to blame for this situation they find themselves in, thanks in no small part to their backwards roll-out of their name change to begin with. (Ed. note: See, because ASSLaw bitched, I now get to write a whole PROCESS STORY on how they got here. Papa, can you hear me!?)

George Mason announced they were changing their name to ASSLaw on March 31st. The day before April Fool’s Day? WHO DOES THAT? The entire internet is geared up to be on the lookout for things that are too stupid to be true, and you change your name to ASSoL At George Mason? ASSLaw became a reason to NOT BELIEVE the news as it was happening. It was an indelible part of the story, before they even announced the name.

Nina Totenberg broke the news on Twitter in the early afternoon. But George Mason decided that they couldn’t confirm it until much later in the day, ignoring our and other outlets’ repeated phone and email inquiries for hours. Dean Butler tried to explain this gap to alumni:

Nina Totenberg, NPR’s Legal Affairs Correspondent, got wind of the negotiations and tweeted news of the name change (and not the corresponding $30,000,000 gift) shortly after noon on Thursday. The University’s Board of Visitors (BoV) had an executive committee meeting that day to consider, among other things, the conditional gifts and the corresponding law school name change. We were unable to respond to Ms. Totenberg’s 12:30 tweet or to subsequent press inquiries until the BoV had a chance to vote.

But what Dean Butler doesn’t say is that during this time, the school seemed to be actively trying to preserve an “exclusive” with the Wall Street Journal. The story went live there at 3:48. So that’s three hours between Totenberg calling the school “Antonin Scalia School of Law” and George Mason confirming the news, during which all the internet could do was to write jokes about George Mason, Antonin Scalia, and butts.

By the time the “news” was official, the internet had fully processed the name change, and the acronym, and moved onto the actual news available in the WSJ article:

The school expected to unveil the name change Thursday afternoon, along with an announcement that it has received two donations totaling $30 million, including a $10 million grant from the Charles Koch Foundation.

So now, the school not only got scooped on its own name — pissing off news reporters and concerned alumni the whole time by preserving an exclusive that was already blown up by Totenberg — it also failed to get out in front of the larger issue: whether or not the name was bought and paid for by the Koch Foundation.

There was maybe nothing the school could have done to avoid the ASSLaw moniker (except, you know, asking ANYBODY UNDER 30 about the name before they approved it), but you don’t get multiple news orgs talking about how your school is called #ASSLaw on Twitter without some serious screw-ups in your press operation.

And trying to put that name back in the barn DAYS after the ASSoL horse has galloped around all over Twitter and Facebook is futile.

This is the name of your law school now, George Mason. You better learn how to accept it and make light of it, because struggling against it will just deepen your shame.

(Flip to the next page for Dean Butler’s message to students and alumni.)

George Mason Tinkers With Name of Scalia Law School to Avoid Awkward Acronym [WSJ Law Blog]

Earlier: George Mason Law Changing Name To Antonin Scalia School Of Law