It had been two month at the Academy and the first years were finally being allowed to spar with each other in taijutsu class. The previous time had been spent on safety, basic form and katas which Tetsuo had memorised years ago. The whole class was gathered in a training field supervised by a number of teachers. He keenly felt his lack of practical fighting experience. They had discovered that fighting against Gai was... inadvisable as a training method for one so young. So Tetsuo did the obvious thing, he walked up to Sasuke, pointed dramatically and called out his foe, "Uchiha! Fight me!" It was all very dramatic and marred only slightly by the fact that we were less than four feet tall.

"... Alright Nakano," replied Sasuke after taking a moment to consider. He had not yet gained the screaming fangirls or the crippling emotional trauma that would plague him in his later years, so for now he was actually an alright kid.A bit stuffy but that's what happens when you're raised by Uchiha,considered Tetsuo.A shame my plan involved supplanting him and forcing him into a team with a higher chance of death. Mainly because every team that isn't mine would have a higher chance of death. We're just that awesome. Or we will be, I won't allow anything less.

They moved over to an empty sparring circle, made the seal of confrontation and a teacher bid them hajime.

Suddenly, there was stillness. The other kids were presumably still talking and fighting but they ceased to matter in this moment. Sasuke dropped into the high stance of the Uchiha style while Tetsuo took the low guard of the Strong Fist. He knew he would be stronger and faster than the young child in front of him but the Uchiha would have the edge on experience and instinct, having had sparring partners of similar ages since he could waddle into the ring.

Sasuke opened with a probing strike to his left side, firmly blocked. Tetsuo retaliated with a sweeping kick, deftly avoided and followed by a sharp counter attack which left him hopping backwards out of range. They smiled at each other, this is going to be fun.

Tetsuo darted forwards with a blinding punch towards the left shoulder-

Sasuke twisted back and blocked, staggered by the glancing blow but he kept his head and used the momentum for a high spinning kick towards his enemies' left side-

thud

Stopped dead by a strong left block, chakra keeping Tetsuo's feet anchored. He answered with a snap kick of his own while the Uchiha is off balance, striking his crossed arm and sending him skidding back. "You are skilled, Uchiha," stated Tetsuo with a feral grin, flashing teeth on display, "but too slow!"

"And your moves are rigid, Nakano!" bit back Sasuke before gliding in for a punishing series of fast strikes-

-just intercepted by Tetsuo's stoic blocks. A punch snapped out towards Sasuke's solar plexus-

...and he's choking on the ground clutching his stomach, guess all that strength training paid off,marvelled Tetsuo while clenching and unclenching his fist. The teacher called the match, looking slightly surprised at the turn of events. I guess he is only a six year old after all. Still, he was doing so well. He's right though. I need flexibility to be able to beat people without overpowering them. I can't be stronger than everyone. If we had equal strength and speed I'd have lost. I need experience against skilled opponents, and maybe some weights to simulate fighting opponents of equal speed. And chakra reinforcement, gotta move from unconscious to conscious. So be it. Sasuke began to get to his feet.

"Uchiha! You fight with skill. I have decided that you shall be my Rival!" shouted Tetsuo in a voice that was not quite as weedy as it had been last year. He held out his hand in the seal of reconciliation.

"..oooookay?" answered Sasuke, not understanding the magnitude of what he had just agreed to but still completing the seal out of habit. "I will beat you next time, Nakano." He assured Tetsuo forcefully, forcing the orange eyed boy's smile wider still. Yes, push me. Push me as hard as you can, I'll match you every step of the way. Think yourself my equal as we grow into killers. Then when you fall I'll take off the training weights and grind you into mush.



And that was how Tetsuo made friends with Uchiha Sasuke, pawn of Indra and inheritor of the Curse of Hatred. Later, when he got home, he had a quiet freak out.

ooo



Personal Log - year 6, month 8

Okay, I have my plan for Sasuke. Well, my two plans. First, I'm going to appear to stay even with him through the whole academy while wearing weights. Then, soon after we graduate, I beat him into the ground - for his own good of course. He leaves because he feels he's not getting strong enough in the leaf, and I shall prove him wrong by being a shining example of The Powe-

Oh god, did I almost just do that? That's not right. Have my mental processes been contaminated? Oh Kami, how would I know? Wait, I have the perfect way to check, I have a spare brain that should be mostly unchanged from the day I got it. Okay, I need a test that distinguishes between sanity and insanity. Think up a hypothetical situation and decide on my response then evaluate which makes more sense. I don't have anyone sane in this world to ask to check my thinking. Chakra brain, plan for Sasuke. Okay, same basic plan except without the Gai-isms and the eternal rivalry and that is not good.

Wait a minute, no-one sane in this world... What are the major differences between people this world and mine? Chakra in everything and... that's about it. Civilians always seemed pretty normal, it's just... high level... ninja... who are always nuts. Fuck, is chakra level in the body and brain correlated with insanity? I've been training my chakra reserves, have I been slowly going strange? Well obviously yes but I've only been hanging around Gai so that might have happened anyway. Wait, Sakura! She has piddling reserves and she's so batty she has a second personality. She... subconsciously reinforces her strikes with super strength even as a genin. How else did she do all that stuff? She'd be as contaminated as the rest.

Falsify your own conclusions, who doesn't regularly pump chakra into their muscles? Shikamaru who... is the sanest guy here. He's just a normal guy who happens to be born into a situation where he has to be a killer. And the Hokage, who doesn't fight any more. Was he crazier when he was on the front lines and became sane again now that he has a desk job? Danzo has Hashirama cells constantly pushing chakra into him, and he's nuttier than a fruitcake. I'll need to check to make sure, two weeks without using any chakra, then comparative tests to see if I become less eccentric, then use chakra again and more comparisons. Gai won't like me skimping on training and I'll have a hard time in sparring but I need to do this.

Three weeks later

Oh merciful Kami, it's true. If I want to become powerful in this world I will slowly become increasingly strange. Think, how do successful strong shinobi deal with this? Of course, obvious in retrospect! Controlled release of weirdness through strange habits. Don't fight it, channel it. Jiraiya pervs on women and acts like a fool, Gai is Gai, Kakashi reads porn in front of children and never shows up on time, Tsunade gambles all her money away and punches people, Anko plays the exhibitionist. Hardly ideal but compared to what everyone else in this crazy place does it's not that bad. Okay, I can do this, I just need to find some facet of my personality then overplay it to hell and back in a safe manner. What do I have to work with? Obscure pop culture references? Worth a try I guess. Cookery? Yessssssssss. I shall fight a war for hearts and minds with spices as my weapon and marinades as my shield! All shall tremble and kneel before me in wonder at my benevolent rule!

Okay. That happened. Nought to crazy in 1.3 seconds. As if I needed any more evidence. Seemed like the harmless kind though, not like Deidara's 'art, un'. I feel like this habit will stay safe no matter how much chakra suffuses me. Worst case scenario I become snippy in restaurants and get mad if someone insults my food. I'll keep looking for other ways to vent pressure, but this is looking pretty solid. Shameless (and public) perversion will have to wait till I go through puberty again.

Next step, penetrating Sarutobi's defences.

ooo

A/N Funnily enough, all signs seem to indicate that before the death of everything he cared about Sasuke had a 'pleasant disposition' and was 'very kind and loving towards his family'. And here I was all set up to write him as cold. Mental trauma changes people. Who knew.