ARLINGTON, Texas -- Having a little fun on this sky-is-falling Monday afternoon:

10. Mayor Menino declines invitation to home opener, says he has to dedicate new garbage truck at DPW.

Keep the faith, Matt Damon ... AP Photo/Michael Dwyer

9. Dan Shaughnessy’s publisher orders new book, “Return of the Curse”.

8. Sox fans petition commissioner Bud Selig to impose immediate lockout on MLB.

7. ESPN switches Sunday Night telecast from Yankees-Red Sox to Mets-Marlins.

6. Matt Damon shows up on set in a Yankees cap.

5. Sox equipment manager Joe Cochran quits over having to sew “Saltalamacchia” on back of jersey, says he prefers “Cash”.

4. JetBlue withdraws sponsorship of new spring training facility, replaced by Larry’s Pawn Shop.

3. John W. Henry deletes Red Sox from his Wiki bio, lists himself as owner of Liverpool Football Club and NASCAR team.

2. Theo Epstein cites obscure clause in fine print, voids last four years of John Lackey’s contract.

1. Boston Cannons lacrosse team sells out its entire schedule (tickets on sale now!).

Got any better ones? Get creative in the comments section.