Israel Develops Highless Weed, For Some Reason

Israel has contributed to some of the world’s greatest inventions: the cell phone, voice mail technology, Bar Refaeli, a long conflict, and hummus. However, Israeli company Tikkun Olam has figured out a way to take the high out of marijuana by neutralizing the effects of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). Granted, this new breed of marijuana has several benefits, including being a sedative and an inhibitor of cancer growth. But seriously?

Was it a slow day in the Israeli think-tank world where a scientist had to think of ways to lessen the enjoyment of millions of people on this planet (with medicinal prescriptions obviously)? Are Italian scientists attempting to create cheeseless pizza? Are French scientists figuring out how to love Jews? Are American scientists trying to dilute the effects of propecia? Nope.

While I’m a naturally-high lover of Israel and proud of its accomplishments, I think I finally will boycott something produced in Israel—highless pot. Ironically, *tikkun olam *is defined as “repairing the world”—taking the high out of marijuana can result in mandated worldwide neutralization of the effects of THC, causing the entire Williamsburg section of Brooklyn to realize they’re in a borough. This is not repair—this is disrepair.

As the go-to Jewish agricultural organization in Israel and the USA, I highly encourage all our readers to call upon the Jewish National Fund and demand they plant THC-heavy marijuana plants around the country. No more planting trees for loved ones, let’s keep our Mary-Jew potent.