I’m not exactly sure what the conversation was like at Zaftig when they decided to brew their Wee Heavy Scottish Strong Ale, but I imagine it went something like, “Malts!? Alcohol!? Flavor!!? Crank that shit up to the extreme!!!”

Coming in at “10% ABV” (and note that those quotation marks are representative of the most exaggerated air quotes I can muster), every bottle of this behemoth should carry the following disclaimer. “Warning: Opening this bottle may release the spirit of The Angry Scot, who will most certainly punch you right in the throat with his malty fist.”

This beer is big. This beer is epic. I love it. Part of me wants to end the review here, just so that I can go buy another bottle of this, but I will temper my cravings long enough to share with you the majesty of Zaftig’s Wee Heavy.

On the nose, the characteristic malt bomb is here in full force. Brown bread (with the crust) and brown sugar make up the backbone, while dark chocolate and toffee add some dark-laced sweetness near the edge of each breath. Notes of flat-out grainy malts slide in at the back, while graham cracker and some nuttiness support from the sides. Dark fruit in the form of plums and raisins create a flowing richness that wraps around your face and snakes it way down your nose, aided by some smoke notes, and the intoxicatingly pungent alcohol tang that will cause you to quickly pull the glass away, blink a few times, and utter something like “whoooo!” or “God Dayum!”. The end of each breath consists of a pleasant spice profile, mainly cinnamon and a touch of nutmeg. I’m not sure where these spices were coming from, but they were as subdued as possible, and piggy-backed spectacularly atop the graham cracker notes from earlier.

Taste-wise…my oh my. Where do I start? An up front and immediate alcohol strength will meet your tongue in the tastiest of bear hugs. Sharp and warming, it’s an experience similar to a fine scotch, but without the persistent burn of hard liquor. Baked bread, smoke, and mellow baker’s chocolate arrive with malty fortitude and a richness that is just wonderful to experience. Mildly burnt toffee and brown sugar boost the malty sweetness, while plums and raisins create a rich and fruity mid level. There is a gently noticeable bitterness from floral hops, but they are subdued and held in check by two things: the style of the beer (traditionally low in hop presence), and the sheer amount of malt strength. As the flavors continue, a mild nuttiness arrives, as does the same graham cracker and baking spice vibe from the aroma, creating one of the most delicious brews I’ve poured into my mouth in a long time. A word of warning – this beer is hot. Drink it slow, and let it warm up to room temperature to experience the full spectrum of flavors. As I said above, the bottle says 10%, but I’m inclined to believe that some kind of ancient Pagan deity somehow enhanced the alcoholic potency of these beers, because after a quarter of a bottle, my mouth was beginning to numb.

Zaftig’s Wee Heavy Scottish Strong Ale is not for the faint of heart. But, if you love huge flavor, and crave a gargantuan drinking experience, enjoy it anyway. If you don’t like it, send me an email (or a Tweet!) and I will finish the bottle for you. Massive malt flavor, eye-watering strength, and an aroma that’ll make your eyes cross in ecstasy, this beer is, quite simply, delicious. Drink it.