Pretty much every students main anxiety is that they will be seen or heard while trying to pick up a girl. When they ask me for advice I ask “Why do you care?”

They don’t know why they care.

The truth is, we live in a gynocentric society that uses shaming tactics to keep men subservient, docile, and quiet. We aren’t told outright to stay in our place, but the truth bubbles up in the media, on social media, and around the Internet. Stories abound of creepy men harassing women, evil pickup-artists using their devious negs to seduce innocent, naive women. And so, being the nice guys that we are, how could we not hear that little voice in our head asking “Is this creepy? Is anyone noticing if I am creepy?”

The narrative has been mashed into our subconscious since childhood.

Creepy

Douchey

Stalker

It’s like our balls have been locked in a wooden box and the key thrown in a well.

Time to burn that box.

Errr…I suppose I could use a better metaphor. Anyway.

For the more social stifled student I share the analogy of the candy store thief:

When you were a kid, did you ever steal something? Say a candy, or a toy? Most of you have stolen something in your life. Now imagine you are walking into a candy store with the intent to snatch something. Do you:

Look at the store clerk to see if he is looking? Grab the candy, and then on the way out check to see if he noticed you?

Walk straight in without looking at him and once behind cover stick the candy in your pocket, and then walk straight out without ever making eye contact.

B of course. Because option A betrays your sense of guilt. Your micro expressions would give away your intent.

If you feel guilty, you will appear guilty. This is the law of state-transference. Whatever you feel, they will feel.

So you can see, social artistry is only a small step away from con-artistry. And this is one of the reasons mainstream society seems to abhor us, because though we are not thieves, but honest men, society see’s the potential for a criminal mind to thrive with such social power.

But we only use or powers for good. To get laid with hot women who like us.

So basically this boils down to an inner game problem: You feel guilty.

So stop feeling guilty.

To prove this point, I took a client into a shoe store and made social contact with every single person in the store. “Those would look great on you!” “Hey, you work here? It’s not a bad gig is it?” After I had made small talk with every single person in the store, I then took him to the next store and asked him to do the same, but he could only stand there and sweat, and shake. When he finally tried to talk to someone, people seemed to notice he was kinda weird.

People come to me primarily to learn how to seduce women, but I find the issues hindering their success have less to do with their outer game, i.e. what to say and do, and more to do with their fear of self-expression. Since if you express and expose yourself, doesn’t that leave you vulnerable to judgement?

How long have you fled from judgement, hiding in the shadows like a thief in the night?

You are innocent. Stand up, step into the light, be social and express yourself. There is nothing to be ashamed of. But at the same time, if you are socially awkward, it is best to practice your confidence building somewhere other than the mall.