Thank God.

I haven’t left the bed yet, my head and body hurt, and I can barely see past my nose & I’ll tell you why.

The Godsend that is Big Mario’s (located between 11th & 10th on Pike) opened last night. I went with the full intention of taking notes, trying the well liquors, & sampling all of the delicious pies they had available. That is when things went wrong.

To be fair I did get through 2 slices. For $3.75, I started off with the potato (thinly sliced) & garlic (whole cloves) which satisfied every drunken Irish craving I was struck with. Savory, hot, & in herculean portions, I was pleased. I’ve never been one to fold my pizzas in half (if I wanted a calzone I would’ve ordered one) but it proved almost impossible to handle these serving sizes with dignity. Its hard not to love 18″ pies cut into 6 slices. Its enormous. Enormous.

When the Rainer tallboy & whiskey shot started rumbling I moved on to the cheese ($2.75), just to test the old standby (I found it hard to deny myself, you can put the food order on your bar tab & they have some table service). It was everything I was looking for in my state. And rest assured (dear reader) it will be everything you are looking for Thurs-Sat when their street side window service open until 4AM (2AM otherwise). Maybe Seattle is becoming a real-life big city. 4AM. This is a good thing (I’m looking at you Mr. McGinn).



The briefest of displeasures came by way of a spilled drink on a member of our table. The situation quickly turned golden however, when Jason introduced himself as a co-owner & bought our whole group a generous round of Washington Apples, with which we toasted his name.

I was further charmed not only by the consumables, but the setting. It reminded me of stepping into the unassuming bars of less self-conscious cities. The only reminder that I was still in Capitol Hill was a lone velvet painting of a woman clothed only in a leather vest. It was the subject of joke I can not remember now. Anyhow, the intimate (comfortable at 4 people, a little close at 6) booths lining the L shape of the place were nice, & there was a generous amount of saddle-up room at the bar. Which is something I highly value in a drinking establishment. Having a TV, but only one (viewable only from the back corner) was a nice touch as well.



The well liquor choices were lacking a little (you’ll have to settle for the saccharine sweetness of McCormicks whiskey if you don’t want to spring the extra couple bucks) but it was made up for with a couple decent tap choices (the noteworthy Lagunitas IPA) & heavy pours.

However, the final coup de grâce that settled the whole matter came when I realized a very, very exciting thing: for the first time since 2006 I would be able to purchase the sweet nectar known as Olde English 40oz in the 5.71 sq miles that make up Seattle’s Alcohol Impact Area. Despite the prohibition style prices (5$) I was, & am, beyond excited about this. Promptly, I cast aside my responsibilities & got down to business.

After my table & I put down a considerable amount of Olde English I was happy to see a modest tab, despite getting good & drunk as well as disgustingly full. All in all it was a good kick off to what I hope to be many more nights at Big Mario’s.

All photos by Tim! Check his work out @ his photoblarrrg.