I beat Taco Bell to the punch by designing my own egg taco, but now that the real thing is widely available… A tortillaphile has to get to the bottom of what possibly is the oddest creation in the Bell’s sordid history.

There are two egg tacos for you to enjoy: one naked, one dressed. These have to be the worst adjectives to describe any kinds of food, but I suppose we have to live with. A Naked Egg Taco and a Dressed Egg Taco. One sans a conventional tortilla, the other wrapped in one.

I have what I consider valid concerns over the eggs themselves. Knowing the Bell was once in a legal battle to prove their meat was the real deal and not a by-product, I suspect we are in a similar situation with the egg. If I was to use this for, say, baking, would I achieve the same result as with a store-bought egg? I doubt it.

The rubbery concoction has little flavor, and what’s there certainly does not taste like an egg. Grease, perhaps, but not the old fashion, diner kind. This oil can only exist in the Bell’s kitchens.

Wrapped inside the egg-tortilla is bacon, sausage, hashbrowns, and what could pass as a cheese sauce. There really isn’t a whole lot more to say about it, as you probably know what to expect from a Bell taco. Different wrapping, same content.

Should you go against my advice and try one of these, you probably want to steer toward the dressed taco. Not only because there is something inherently wrong with eating anything called a naked taco , but also because the tortilla masques some of Taco Bell’s (probably quite literally) patented flavors.

Really, though, stay far away from the egg tacos and Taco Bell in general. Only a trained professional should sink to these levels.