Long time metalheads will remember the shit site Metal-Archives, a self-proclaimed “heavy metal archives” full of crappy reviews about bands no one cared about.

In its day, Metal-Archives had quite some followers on the Internet. The main reason being that there was a time where it was quite hard to find any decent information on the Internet about heavy metal bands, so you sort of took anything you came across at face value.

I know this can be hard to fathom in this day and age where you can’t go five minutes without someone blogging, tweeting or otherwise youtubing the most trivial details about some obscure band you don’t care about the lightest.

So one of the lone outposts of heavy metal back in those days was a sad little site called Metal-Archives, and while it was pretty famous in the heavy metal underground (albeit not for the best reasons), the content left a bit to be desired. And that’s an enormous understatement.

So what was on that shitty site anyway ?

The main content that could be found on Metal-Archives was a cluster of incredibly crappy reviews written by what appears to be a severely cognitively diminished 13 year old retard.

The reviews all follow the same pattern : poorly written, unbelievably superficial and often quite pseudo-intellectual reviews of several heavy metal albums.

But the real problem with this site, and what made its reputation in the heavy metal underground, was that the admins intentionally modified reviews and ratings on arbitrary albums.

Poor reviews on some bands are never published, so the band gets a “90%” rating even f the music is shit.

They also lie about bands and albums, claiming for example that Varg Vikernes of Burzum committed suicide in 2015 (on their home page) or that the band Antekhrist is from Norway, even though everyone knows they are from France and all their texts are written in French.

They also selectively blacklist random bands for no reason at all.

Most of their recent reviews are also plagiarized from other sites such as Deathmetal.org, Parti-Libertarien.com or even Metalious.

Metal-Archives is really a joke site, going so far as to ask for donations from the users they ban lol.

Thank god there are a lot better sites around theses days, such as Metalious.

See a real heavy metal site : http://www.metalious.com.