College Student Unsure if Reason for Neon Hair Fetish is Hayley Williams or Ramona Flowers Matt Borjes Follow Jan 28 · 1 min read

Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Ramona Flowers, Nathan Field, and Hayley Williams of Paramore (left to right)

NEW YORK, NY. — Nathan Field, 20, has only ever dated girls with dyed hair. He says he has always contributed this to a chance viewing of Scott Pilgrim vs. The World at a middle school sleepover. “I saw Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and I was ruined forever,” explained Field.

The young man experienced a moment of self reflection today when looking through his 10 year old YouTube account’s favorites playlist.

“I realized the first video I ever favorited was the ‘Ain’t it Fun’ Music Video,” said Field, “That’s where the trouble started.”

Field became immobilized with doubt and underwent ego death, the first case ever reported without the aid of psychedelics, before going into shock.

He was found by police watching (500) Days of Summer on repeat in his studio apartment while rocking back and forth after failing to turn up for multiple work shifts.

Field is currently in stable condition, but he still sides with Tom.

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