Alright, you know the opening scene in the first LotR movie? The one with Sauron just laying waste?

Step 1: Get some armor and a big ass mace.

Step 2: Have an accomplice get a couple kindergarten classes together and get 'em just humming on PCP or meth or both.

Step 3: Have said accomplice distribute weapons amongst the children and tell all those little fuckers that you killed Santa Claus.

Step 4: Reenact opening scene from Lord of the Rings.