I’m suffering from depression

Don’t worry, I’m being looked after

My wife’s been trying to get me in to see a therapist for quite a while now. A psychotherapist. She thinks I’m suffering from depression.

I know that I have issues with mental health. Anxiety has been an issue for me for many, many years and I’ve been taking medication for that for about eight years. I’ve also been taking medication for irritability for a couple of years, but clinically depressed?

I wasn’t so sure.

My wife finally got me to the therapist a couple of weeks ago, and by the end of our first session, the therapist was convinced that I’m suffering from depression.

For many reasons.

I’m tired all the time. I nap whenever I can. I lack the energy, primarily by the end of the day, to appropriately deal with the triggers in my life that lead to anger outbursts and anxiety. Most specifically my kids. When I have angry outbursts directed towards my family, I feel like I’m already becoming a harmful burden on them.

Those thoughts are fleeting. They come and go quickly once I clue back to the fact that my family needs me and I’m not a burden. I’m not like my Huntington’s disease dad is. I’m not like my Huntington’s disease grandma was. I’m just a guy trying to manage as a parent.

The therapist was very confident that I could be treated with some new medication and questioned whether the Cipralex and Tegretol that I’m currently on are even the right options for me. She suggested that maybe if the underlying depression is managed, I won’t need something like the Tegretol to treat irritability, because I’ll be more mentally able to process my triggers when they pop up.

Makes sense I suppose.

I have an appointment to see a psychiatrist in a week or so to review all this and make some needed changes. That’s a good thing and I’m looking forward to it. If there’s a potential for my life to be better, then, of course, I’m all on board.

It’s commonly understood nowadays that there is often a period of time before the movement, cognitive and behavioural symptoms begin, where a person with Huntington’s disease may suffer from some mental health symptoms. Sometimes for many years before the traditional symptoms commence.

In my mind, it doesn’t matter if my issues are related to my HD in some way, or they’re just me. Just the way I’ve turned out. Lots of people suffer from depression who don’t have HD. It doesn’t mean that my HD decline is right around the corner. Even if I am going through that “pro-dromal” period as they call it, my symptomatic years could still be well in the future.

So who cares what the physiological cause is. That’s my thought. Let’s fix this thing.

Is there anyone else there suffering from depression? What’s your experience?