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One important attitude behind self-growth in any area of life is: always be open to the possibility that you are wrong about something. Because only by admitting you’re wrong can you truly learn, grow, and change yourself.

My favorite way to prove myself wrong is to play “devil’s advocate” toward my current beliefs. I assume the opposite of what I believe is true, and I begin to search for facts and evidence that support this opposing view.

Often when I do this, I discover that my current beliefs aren’t as “black” and “white” as I thought they were, but instead that the truth is often much more complicated.

This “devil’s advocate” attitude can be especially useful when you apply it to negative beliefs about yourself. People with low self-esteem tend to be irrationally negative in how they judge themselves. They often ignore certain truths that don’t fit their conceived “story” or “narrative” about themselves.

This is because when you hold any negative belief about yourself, it’s easier to find examples where it hold trues.

So if you believe something like “I’m socially awkward” or “I’m not good around people,” you’re going to distinctly remember ALL of the times you made a fool of yourself around others (that first day of school, that family reunion, that one date, etc.)

Our first instinct behind any deeply held belief is to search for evidence that proves us right. That is why actively playing “devil’s advocate” is so important for undermining our biases and false perceptions.

For example, if you believe you are “stupid,” or “mean,” or “weak,” you probably don’t often think about the times when you actually did exhibit “intelligence,” or “kindness,” or “confidence.”

Of course, that doesn’t mean that you don’t need to improve on those traits. But it’s important to remember that you’re not completely void of those traits either.

Often recognizing the “tiny evidence” that you can be intelligent, kind, or confident (at times), opens up the possibility in your mind that it’s a trait that can be honed and improved upon.

And that can be a very important first step toward serious self-improvement and self-growth.



How to Play “Devil’s Advocate” With Negative Beliefs

Here are actionable steps you can take to apply a “devil’s advocate” mindset to your negative beliefs.

Identify a deeply held negative belief – The first step is to identify one deeply held negative belief that you have about yourself. What types of negative thoughts usually run through your head on a daily basis? What’s the underlying belief behind them?

– The first step is to identify one deeply held negative belief that you have about yourself. What types of negative thoughts usually run through your head on a daily basis? What’s the underlying belief behind them? Explain the belief and why you think it’s true – Start by explaining why you hold this belief. Pretend you’re making an argument to a random acquaintance or practice writing a short essay defending why you think this belief is true. Often when you try to explain your beliefs, it can become more challenging than you realize. You become more aware of the rationale behind them, which can also make you more aware of potential flaws.

– Start by explaining why you hold this belief. Pretend you’re making an argument to a random acquaintance or practice writing a short essay defending why you think this belief is true. Often when you try to explain your beliefs, it can become more challenging than you realize. You become more aware of the rationale behind them, which can also make you more aware of potential flaws. Find holes in your current argument – Now that you’ve articulated this negative belief, it’s time to switch into “devil’s advocate” mode. Review what you wrote down to defend your belief and begin looking for holes in the argument. Are there any logical fallacies being made? Do you notice any biased or exaggerated language? Be as skeptical as possible. Poke as many holes you can and ask yourself, “Is this argument as strong and rational as I initially thought it was?”

– Now that you’ve articulated this negative belief, it’s time to switch into “devil’s advocate” mode. Review what you wrote down to defend your belief and begin looking for holes in the argument. Are there any logical fallacies being made? Do you notice any biased or exaggerated language? Be as skeptical as possible. Poke as many holes you can and ask yourself, “Is this argument as strong and rational as I initially thought it was?” Search for counter-evidence – One aspect of being a good “devil’s advocate” is being able to find flaws in an argument, but another aspect is building a strong counter-argument as well. What evidence can you find to support the opposite view? Can you think of any evidence or past events in your life that contradict your negative belief? Make a list of counter-evidence, even if it’s relatively small or trivial examples. All it takes is a bit of opposing evidence to get your mind thinking in a new and different direction.

– One aspect of being a good “devil’s advocate” is being able to find flaws in an argument, but another aspect is building a strong counter-argument as well. What evidence can you find to support the opposite view? Can you think of any evidence or past events in your life that contradict your negative belief? Make a list of counter-evidence, even if it’s relatively small or trivial examples. All it takes is a bit of opposing evidence to get your mind thinking in a new and different direction. Ask family and friends for help – To go the extra mile, ask family or friends to help you find flaws in your negative beliefs or examples of counter-evidence to go against them. Often people in our lives can have a different perspective of us than we do (especially when it comes to certain blind spots we have about ourselves). They may also have access to memories of when you acted in positive ways that you’ve since ignored or forgotten about entirely.

– To go the extra mile, ask family or friends to help you find flaws in your negative beliefs or examples of counter-evidence to go against them. Often people in our lives can have a different perspective of us than we do (especially when it comes to certain blind spots we have about ourselves). They may also have access to memories of when you acted in positive ways that you’ve since ignored or forgotten about entirely. The power of skepticism and doubt – You may not debunk your negative beliefs right away, but at least you’re being more skeptical of them (and that is a good start toward slowly disempowering them and dismantling them). Simply being more open to the idea of being wrong is going to open up more possibilities in your mind and get it moving in a new direction. It begins to change the way you see yourself and it creates more space for potential self-improvement and self-growth.

In summary, a “devil’s advocate” mindset can be a valuable strategy when trying to undermine and disempower your negative beliefs.

We often accept our negative beliefs (especially about ourselves) without questioning them – we just assume they are true. But often when we dig deeper and take a more skeptical perspective toward them, we find they aren’t as rock solid as we thought they were.

Proving yourself wrong is an important aspect of Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy and becoming a more healthy thinker in general. It helps flush out flawed and erroneous beliefs about yourself that can often influence your daily actions and emotions in a destructive way.



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