“Is that your mom?!”

I’ve been asked this

question throughout my life by people ranging from childhood friends on the

playground to complete strangers on public transportation. These four little

words, often asked with a sort of well-meaning curiosity, never fail to

unsettle me, the racially ambiguous daughter of a Filipina immigrant and a

first-generation Swiss-American.

This question forces me

to realize that though I identity as a mixed person of color, I am not seen as

such. Rather, I can pass as white.

It is only when my olive

skin and vaguely Eurasian facial features are juxtaposed with my mother’s tan

skin and Asian features that my racial background is questioned and I’m

presented with the following choice: either ‘come out’ as biracial or continue

to pass as white.

When I was younger, I

didn’t realize the implications of this ability. I shrugged off comments by my

Filipino family members that praised my lighter skin tone and “white nose.” I found

humor in stories about how passersby often confused my mother for my nanny on

our daily walks. It is only recently that I understand that my ability to pass

has afforded me definite, unavoidable privileges over other minorities,

including my own mother.

Because of my racial

ambiguity, I’m protected from harmful

stereotypes or verbal attacks. I have never been called a “chink” or mocked by

my peers in a pseudo-Chinese accent. I have never had my academic success attributed

solely to my racial background, nor has my personality been scrutinized on how

it aligns with my culture.

Moreover,

I can choose when I want to be political and speak up for my Asian heritage.

And if I choose to do so, my commentary is often seen as more legitimate than

that from a more phenotypically Asian counterpart.

Most

significantly, I can close myself off from racism and choose to remain in

ignorance. Among my white peers, I can choose to not be seen as ‘other.’

While this ability has

given me these privileges throughout my life, it has also robbed me of a sense

of legitimacy as a person of color. On an immediate level, I’m not included

among other Asians and Filipinos; I don’t experience a sense of solidarity

among other minorities. On a more serious level, my experiences are often

dismissed, trivialized or outright silenced by other minority groups since I am

“basically white.”

Yet such dismissals are not without reason. Simply put, can

I assume a marginalized identity if I haven’t lived a marginalized experience?

These comments and

perceptions all together have relegated me to ethnic limbo. I am not fully

accepted by minority groups yet I don’t fully identify with white American

culture. I exist on the edges of both realms, not entirely a member of either.

Throughout the years,

this process of ‘coming out’ has not gotten easier. Though I’m more adept about

the timing and context of my disclosure, I still struggle revealing my racial

background for fear I won’t appear ‘Asian’ enough. I still reel against comments

that invalidate my heritage based on my appearance. I still wait for approval.

My

experience is by no means unique. Around 3 percent of Americans identify as

multiracial, with numbers estimated to climb by to 21 percent of Americans by 2050.

In Pomona’s class of 2018, mixed individuals number around 7 percent.

Yet it is an issue that

is rarely talked about at the 5Cs. Amid the many race-based groups on campus, from

AAMP to OBSA and CSLA, there exists a profound lack of dialogue about the mixed

experience, which entails unique obstacles that can’t be addressed by typical

monoracial-based discussion.

If the Claremont Colleges truly want to be a place that respects racial

diversity, the consortium needs to be inclusive of all minorities’ experiences, including

those who are racially diverse themselves.

For more resources or information about issues that affect mixed individuals,

please visit the 5C club MERGE on Facebook or contact club president Cortney Anderson PO ’15 at cortney.anderson@pomona.edu.

Lauren Bollinger PO ’18 is from the Bay

Area and is interested in majoring in either English or sociology. She is a

member of MERGE (Multi-ethnic and Racial Group Exchange), a club devoted to

raising awareness about multiracial issues at the 5Cs.