Announcing GaaS (GNOME as a Service)

From: Alexandre Franke <afranke gnome org>

To: Foundation List <foundation-list gnome org>

Subject: Announcing GaaS (GNOME as a Service)

Date: Sun, 1 Apr 2018 12:40:50 +0200

Hi, We’ve heard complaints about GNOME being bloated. We’ve taken them into consideration and that’s why today we’re announcing a new offering from GNOME - GaaS. Some had already gotten wind of it, but today we’re making it official. It has never been easier to use GNOME on any computer. All you need to do to connect to the service is to go to your GNOME Settings, add an Online Account, and you’re all set.

From then on GaaS will appear in your GNOME Boxes.

We will offer this service free of charge. That’s right, you won’t have to add any credit card details and worry about topping up your account to keep using it. We know that money is a gas (ha ha, this is our only bad joke in this article, we promise) and more importantly that not everyone can afford to pay for online services. This breakthrough should be accessible to everyone and that’s why we decided not to take your money. Now that we have GaaS, we will be able to collect user metrics, through a unique partnership with Cambridge Analytica. Thanks to our new *Meth*od to *An*alyze the *E*xperience (METHANE), we can leverage this data to run a giant user survey and improve our user experience, addressing concerns our benevolent critics have so kindly expressed on various sites on the internet. We care a lot about your privacy and that’s why GaaS is powered by GNOME’s own targetted advertising products, utilising a unique blockchain. Think Bitcoin, but for adverts! Indeed all outgoing traffic from our service to the other bits of the Internet you’ll connect to won’t leave a trace, to anyone except GNOME and our selected media partners. What else does it have under the belly? Built upon the latest in technology, it uses ostree and flatpak to provide you with the latest versions of our software. GaaS will be released later this month. In the meantime, we hope this mind blowing news won’t cause a brain fart. Have a nice day, -- Alexandre Franke GNOME Hacker & Foundation Director

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