As Raquel Grand’s wife was hemorrhaging dangerously after giving birth to their daughter, Grand was struck with a terrible thought.

If her wife died, would the newborn — conceived with a donor who is a family friend — still be considered her daughter?

“Do they even let you leave the hospital with a baby that is not legally yours?” Grand wondered in a recent interview.

“Suddenly I had no security to offer my baby, and it just put me in this situation where I’d done everything right up until that point, in preparing financially for having a kid, preparing RESPs, making sure I had a will and all that stuff — and realizing no matter what I’d done, not having laws in place left me really vulnerable.”

Grand’s wife, Deanna Djos, survived, but during her recovery period weeks afterwards, the couple made time to go to a lawyer so that Grand could adopt their daughter and be considered her legal parent.

“We have equal marriage rights,” Gran said. “We also need equal parent rights.”

The legal hoops LGBT parents have to go through to be registered as parents were found to be discriminatory by the courts 10 years ago. But the practice has yet to change.

Multiple parents cannot be listed on a birth registry form, despite another court ruling. Trans men who give birth can only register as a mother. Lesbian couples who conceive with a known donor must pay for a legal adoption.

The government has expressed a desire to change the laws and its support for a private member’s bill, Cy and Ruby’s Act, introduced last year that passed first and second reading.

But it is languishing in the committee stage, said MPP Cheri DiNovo, who introduced the bill.

The Attorney General has indicated some amendments maybe needed, DiNovo said, but there has been no discussion about what those might look like or when they might be introduced at the committee level.

“Going into Pride as one of the heel-dragging provinces that won’t give same-sex couples equal rights as parents — I mean, that’s crazy,” DiNovo said.

The lack of movement on the issue has prompted a group of LGBT families to launch a constitutional challenge, seeking an order that the current laws violate the Charter, and asking the court to supervise changes, “given the province’s failure to act meaningfully.”

But the government’s response — which the group’s lawyer, Joanna Radbord, said was delivered after the 30-day response period — does not provide the answers they were seeking.

Instead, the government has asked for a time extension in filing material.

Radbord said her clients expected the government to concede that the legislation is unconstitutional and discriminatory, and also that the government is committed to law reform — it’s just a question of what they will do and how long it will take.

“Instead they haven’t been willing to say they recognize the legislation is unconstitutional, they haven’t kept up their support for Bill 137 even though they said they supported it wholeheartedly,” Radbord said.

“Apparently they can’t decide whether or not they want to support equality for LGBTQ families or if they are going to fight equal recognition for children of same-sex parents.”

The government’s response filed in court states: “It is imperative that Ontario take the time to get its position right.”

Cy and Ruby’s Act, it says, “demonstrates how these matters are of significant complexity and are neither straightforward nor easily resolved. For example, the Bill does not consider a number of scenarios that could arise when assisted reproduction is used and draws heavily from similar legislation in British Columbia, which does not accommodate Ontario’s family law context.”

Loading... Loading... Loading... Loading... Loading... Loading...

When asked what the timeline is for making changes to the Children’s Law Reform Act and the Vital Statistics Act, a spokesperson for the Minister of the Attorney General said only that there would be consultation in the “coming months.”

“We understand the importance of having legislation that reflects the society we live in. Before any changes are made to parentage laws, it is important to hear from as many people as possible about their experiences to ensure that we understand the needs and circumstances of all families,” said spokeswoman Jenna Mannone.

Mannone said she could not comment on the ongoing court case.

DiNovo said there have been no specific reasons provided for why the government feels the laws are so complicated to fix.

“In what way does it not (fit into the Ontario family law context), what scenario would make it unworkable, what amendments would you like to see? These are the questions they don’t have answers to, and that is what is really bizarre about it.”

In the meantime, children continue to be born to parents who do not have the same rights as heterosexual couples.

Amy Noseworthy and her wife, Alice MacLachlan, had to go through the adoption process for their daughter, born three years ago.

“Every new parent feels fraudulent,” said MacLachlan, explaining how after their daughter was born people were curious to know who the “real mother” was. “But it is much harder to feel that way when the law is suggesting you are fraudulent. No one knows what they are doing at first, no one feels like a real parent. But you shouldn’t have your government telling you that you are not a real parent.”

They are thinking about having another child and hope that by then, “the legality of our situation reflects the reality of our situation,” Noseworthy said.

The cost of getting lawyers involved to do an adoption adds to the discrimination, MacLachlan said. They were fortunate to have the money and assistance from friends who are lawyers, but many families are not so lucky.

“Families in Ontario are struggling with child care, struggling with housing, struggling to build good futures for their children,” MacLachlan said. The current state of the law “makes having a family something out of reach for many LGBT couples and families. That’s not fair. That should be a right, not a privilege.”

A public court hearing has been scheduled for Tuesday to address the government’s failure to provide a response to the constitutional challenge, Radbord said.

“Given the premier that we have and the current social climate,” she said, “you would think this would be really easy.”