The day her now-fiancé got down on one knee in the Maldives should’ve been the happiest day of Becca Kufrin’s life. But that’s not how the Bachelorette describes it. “It was the hardest day,” she recalls of choosing between finalists Blake Horstmann and Garrett Yrigoyen. “I just had to follow my heart and do what I felt was right.” Less than three months later, Becca is no longer so confident in her decision.

Life & Style can exclusively reveal that the Bachelorette is engaged to one man and in love with another — and it’s why she has yet to set a wedding date. “Becca told herself that she’d never go back on her choice,” says an insider of picking between Garrett, 29, and Blake, 28. “But the truth is, she left the finale in love with both men. And still, months later, she’s in love with the runner-up.”

It’s the worst possible situation for Becca, 28. The publicist had her own heartbroken when, on Season 22 of The Bachelor, Arie Luyendyk Jr. proposed to her — only to dump her in favor of runner-up Lauren Burnham on national TV. Humiliated and hurt, Becca vowed not to “pull an Arie” when she became the Bachelorette, the source says. But she did. After blindsiding third-place finisher Jason Tartick, 29, by sending the lovestruck suitor home, she cried that she “just did to him what Arie did to me!”

Her current uncertainty over the final two is literally following in Arie’s footsteps, though. “She’s still engaged, of course, but Becca and the winner just aren’t as compatible as she had thought,” the insider explains. “She keeps wondering, What if?” And Becca’s fiancé isn’t completely oblivious to the messy situation. “She’s constantly talking about falling in love with two guys,” notes the insider, “which doesn’t make the winner feel really good.” But it’s the Bachelorette’s only way of reaching out to the runner-up. “She can’t call him directly,” notes the insider, “so she’s been talking about falling for him to make sure he knows how she feels.”

The door is still open for Becca and her No. 2 pick: Bachelor producers are not considering him for a leading-man role on Season 23, reveals the insider. “If things don’t work out with the winner, Becca will definitely call the runner-up,” reveals the insider, “and hope that he still feels the same way.” She’s optimistic that it won’t come to that, though. Reluctant to hurt her fiancé, Becca has vowed to put more effort into her made-for-TV relationship. “She and the winner have been secretly spending time together,” the insider says. “Becca is trying to make it work.”

Can’t wait until the finale? Check out our Bachelorette spoilers to find out who gets a hometown date and who Becca picks as the winner! Also, be sure to join our Bachelor Facebook group to chat about all the latest updates, exclusive interviews, and juicy gossip!

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