(I’m the only barman on shift and have just told a rather rowdy customer that he’ll have to leave if he doesn’t calm down. However, he starts to mouth off at me instead. A MASSIVE guy who I’ve never met before turns around to watch him.)

Customer: *to the massive guy* “What the f*** you gonna do? I’ll f***ing take you, I’ll beat the f***ing s*** out of you!”

Massive Guy: “Hah! No you f***ing won’t. This guy…” *indicates me* “…can chokeslam me, so I’d love to see what he can do to YOU.”

(The rowdy customer looks up at him, and then looks back at me in surprise.)

Customer: “Uh… yeah, right. He’s a f***ing twig. He couldn’t do s*** to anyone!”

(I shrug and start to walk round the bar.)

Me: “Okay, if you’re so sure, let’s go outside, shall we?”

(At this, the rowdy customer deflates and backs towards the door.)

Customer: “Uh… nevermind… I’ll… I’ll take your word for it!” *turns tail and runs*

Me: *to the massive guy* “Thanks for the help there.”

Massive Guy: “Don’t worry about it. I hate seeing people try to bully barstaff. You shouldn’t disrespect the guy who gives you beer.”

(His drinks were free for the rest of the night!)