Things that would happen in the best of all possible worlds:

– Cats would empty their own litter trays

– Israel and Palestine would mutually agree “screw it, let’s have a fancy dress party instead”

– People would read the article before commenting

– McVities would bring back Marmite-flavoured Mini Cheddars

– LEGO approves and manufactures this proposed FTL building set



LEGO Cuusoo is the community project-voting system which brought about the official LEGO Minecraft set last year. While FTL isn’t anything like the pop-cultural giant Mojang’s game is, I reckon it’s got enough of a following to make this plausible. Also, its chunky, reconfigurable spaceships and cutsey crew would seem to fit the LEGO ideals and aesthetic to a galactic tee.

I don’t know how many votes are needed for the great LEGO gods to raise their infinite yellow heads from the beneath the seas of Denmark and nod in almighty approval, but I’m pretty sure the at-the-time-of-writing 144 won’t be enough. So, get on it! The proposed project even includes Mantis and Engi crew members in addition to semi-iconic spacecraft such as the Kestrel.

Of course, if it’s anything like the Minecraft set it’ll be pornographically overpriced if it does happen. I went into a LEGO store with the express intention of buying one a couple of weeks ago, and my bellow of outrage when the shop assistant brought it over to me caused him to physically recoil. Sure, it looks relatively reasonable on the site, but when you actually see the thing the box is about the size of a kitten’s head. Dear Mr and Mrs LEGO, you are primarily a children’s toy, not a cuboid Faberge egg. Please remember this.

Thanks for the tip, Arthur.