PARENTING websites are awash with debate over who should be in the delivery suite for a birth. One mother-to-be posted on Quora that her husband was “forcing” her to let his parents be present. And a woman on Mumsnet said her mother insisted on witnessing the birth.

But some women don’t even want their partner to be there at the birth. Three mums told LYNSEY CLARKE and CLAIRE DUNWELL about their birthing partner decisions.

Stranger

7 Natasha and Vikki have formned a close bond since she gave birth to Lexi over five years ago Credit: JOHN McLELLAN

THE SUN’s Books Editor Natasha Harding hired doula, or birth coach, Vikki Radford for £200 when she had daughter Lexi in 2013. Natasha, 43, of West Malling, Kent, who is married to sales executive Paul, 50, and is also a yoga teacher and mum to 12-year-old Zak, says: "I’m not a big fan of men being in the birthing room generally. I think very few of them actually help – and in fact many can make labour ever harder. My now husband Paul is very squeamish and can’t even tolerate seeing somebody having a blood test so I knew he wasn’t the best choice of birth partner. When my son Zak was born in 2006, Paul was around but not in the room when he was delivered and that suited us both just fine.

"Lexi is my second child and I am that rare breed of woman who finds childbirth easy. However, I still felt as though I needed someone for the emotional support during labour and thought a doula would fit the bill. I searched online for doulas in my area and found Vikki. We met the following week and clicked immediately.

"The plan was that the baby would be born at home, as my son had been. However, due to complications, I had to go to hospital to be induced.

"On the morning of my induction, Vikki was by my side. At the time Paul and I were renovating the house so he popped in and out of the hospital but mainly it was Vikki who was there.

7 Natasha says Vicki has been her rock and continues to help her with raising Lexi - who has been diagnosed with autism

"At the hospital they decided to break my waters and just 51 minutes later Lexi was born. The midwife hadn’t expected the birth to be so fast and had left me on my own in the delivery room meaning Vikki had to run to get some help.

"Paul was in another room watching Coronation Street. He popped in during the ad break to see how things were going – only to be greeted by his daughter. Vikki has since become one of my closest friends. She helped me enormously in the early days and did the job that my mum, who died before I had children, would have done.

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"She still looks after Lexi twice a week and I think of her as family. Lexi was an incredibly challenging baby and toddler and has since been diagnosed with autism and Vikki has been an absolute rock through the whole process. I call her my angel sent from God."

PAUL SAYS: “I was more than happy for Natasha to hire a doula. Vikki was able to support her in ways I couldn’t. I don’t feel I missed out in the slightest – there are some things that I just don’t need to see."

Sister

7 Emma's sister Angela has been her birthing partner during all three of her births Credit: Olivia West Commissioned by the Sun

EMMA BEST, 32, had her sister Angela Collins, 35, a nursery manager, at the births of all three of her children. The full-time mum lives in Basildon, Essex, with partner Rhys Totterdell, 35, a forklift driver, and kids Harlee, four, Elbiee, two, and Viniee, one – and she insists it was the right choice.

Emma says: "I was induced with Harlee – it was a long labour. I had Angela and Rhys with me but Rhys slept through most of it. He likes routine, so he needed his meals and his sleep. I used to think it was right for a dad to be there at the birth of his children but Rhys doesn’t cope well with seeing me in pain and not being able to do anything about it. Angela was my rock. She knew all the right things to say to help me through it.

"She is a mum too, so she knows what labour feels like. As soon as Harlee was born, Rhys went home and Angela stayed. I knew when I fell pregnant with Elbiee that I wanted Angela to be there at the birth again. She knows me better than anyone and said all the right things to get me through the contractions.

"When I told Rhys my decision, he didn’t argue. He said he’d seen childbirth once and didn’t need to see it again. He was happy to stay at home with Harlee.

7 Emma's sister Angela helped her during the birth of her children and knows what 'labour is like' Credit: Olivia West Commissioned by the Sun

7 Emma believes having her sister with her in the delivery room brought them closer

"My labour with Elbiee was an emergency caesarean. Angela was calm and reassuring. I was really ill afterwards, which was hard on Rhys because he felt helpless. That was the only time I questioned whether I had made the right decision to not have him with me, although if Rhys had been there he might have panicked and made things worse.

"When I went to hospital to have Viniee, Angela dropped everything to be there. Rhys came into theatre but as soon as he’d had a cuddle with his son, he went off for dinner.

"It makes me smile when I think back. I don’t regret my decision to have Angela with me during labour, and now she’s seen me at my lowest and highest. It’s definitely brought us closer."

RHYS SAYS: “I’m glad I saw Harlee being born and when Emma told me she wanted her sister there the second time, I didn’t mind. I didn’t feel like I was missing out, as I’d seen it before. I knew Angela would support Emma better than I could.”

Alone

7 The 46-year-old conceived used donor sperm, so having her child's father in the delivery room was out of the question Credit: Sonja Horsman - The Sun

GRAPHIC designer Gail Russell, 46, chose to give birth to son Lewis, two, alone and has no regrets. Single Gail, of Colchester, conceived the little boy using a donor egg and sperm. She says: "I’m so used to doing everything alone and being independent that I couldn’t imagine going through childbirth any other way.

"I had a caesarean, so it wasn’t long and drawn out like some labours can be. I often wonder how I would have felt being alone if I’d had a natural, painful birth. Maybe I would have preferred some company.

"There was nerves and excitement about the big day but I would have felt more anxious if someone was with me. I hate feeling vulnerable or fragile in front of people. I’m quite self-conscious too, so the thought of someone seeing me starkers laid out on an operating table would have bothered me more than anything else.

7 Gail has no regrets about giving birth alone

"Leading up to it, I had spent a few months listening to a hypno-birthing CD, so I played that over in my mind to stay calm and focused. After Lewis was born, my hormones were all over the place and I did get tearful. Looking back, that was when I should have asked for more help from my mum.

"I had visitors over the three days I was in hospital, but I didn’t have company constantly like most of the other new mums who had their partners. Being alone also meant I had to tell family and friends that Lewis had arrived safely.

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"They were on tenterhooks because it took me hours to send the text after the caesarean. I still feel guilty about that. There were times when I felt a little out of my depth being a new mum, but even so I didn’t want too much company.

"I was trying to recover physically and adjust to the fact that I was now a mum, at long last. I am glad the experience was personal and intimate. And I will never forget seeing and holding Lewis for the first time – and with it being just the two of us, I could focus on him.

"It might seem scary giving birth alone, but I have no regrets."