Here’s a curious thought experiment: what if football were played by human beings rather than sentient cars? How would they turbo boost? How would they even kick the ball? Dan Marshall – him what made The Swindle and is the mean half of Ben & Dan – has some ideas. He’s making Behold the Kickmen, a game where football is played on a round pitch by kickmen with the power to charge up and hyper-curve shots. Have a look at this imaginative vision of an alternate reality:



To experience this #content, you will need to enable targeting cookies. Yes, we know. Sorry.

Manage cookie settings



You can tell he’s awfully proud of himself for having spent ages on the boring work of making menus but I swear he does show the game itself eventually. Skip in two minutes for that. And then, the kickmen!

They take to the circular pitch to play what Dan imagines football is probably like. Players charge up scorching tackles, magically swerve the ball after it leaves their feet, and score bonus points if they knock goals in from far away. He is an imaginative lad.

No word yet on when Behold the Kickmen will launch.

[Disclosure: I once advised Dan Marshall on exposing more of his chest hair to attract “the ladies”. He has since married. I’m not saying that it’s because of me, but I do think that he should.]