You only hear about it in fairy tales – those people who are absolutely gobsmacked and in love with their private health insurance. But dreams really can come true! Especially in the case of Carly Horstkotte, a Delaware woman who is so over-the-moon about her private health insurance that she let it do anal!

“At first we were always bickering about how my wellness visit wasn’t actually covered because I’d gotten a prescription for Alopecia,” says Carly. “But then when I went to the ER for a concussion and the visit was totally covered, my butthole seriously loosened, and I realized I’ve gotta let this one try anal.”

Now that’s a woman who is truly committed to her private health insurance!

As adamant as Carly was about showing her health insurance that it was a “keeper,” she was still a little shy about bringing it up.

“I kept asking my PCP if I needed a prostate check, and she kept explaining that women don’t have a prostate gland,” says Carly. “So I called my insurance company directly just to make sure.”

After being shuffled through various phone extensions and leaving a series of voicemails, Carly finally received a message on Wellna letterhead that read simply, “Your request has been approved. Let’s do anal.”

“I was so happy,” says Carly. “It finally felt official. I knew I’d found the one – and now it knows I’m never, ever going to leave.”

Unfortunately, the anal fairy tale ends there. At press time, Carly reported that just three weeks after doing anal with her insurance company, she received word that her monthly premiums were going to double and her monthly prescriptions would no longer be covered.