Now, more than 60 years later, said peace treaty is still about as likely to happen as the final volume of George R.R. Martin's A Song Of Ice And Fire . That's a long damned time for North and South Korea to think up less deadly but far more insane ways to fuck with one another, such as ...

The Korean War differs from most historical wars in that it never actually ended. Oh, sure, the Koreas stopped exploding each other by the millions once Ike finally got fed up and brandished his considerable nukes at them , but the armistice that established the DMZ and "ended" the war was intended as a temporary measure until a peace treaty could be established.

6 "Anything The Other Korea Can Do, We Can Do Bigger"

Ryan Menezes

Smack dab in the heart of the Korean DMZ lies the Joint Security Area, a neutral zone where North and South Korean representatives can meet face-to-face with only minimal fear of being shot in said faces. It's meant to be a safe space where the two sides can speak on peaceful terms, as equals. And so, naturally, they use it to host preposterous dick-measuring contests.

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For example: During the negotiations leading up to the armistice, which took place in a conference room literally divided by the border between the two countries, each day started with the participants lugging in larger flags: One day the North brought a large flag. The next day the South brought a huge flag. Then the North brought a giant flag, the South brought a ginormous flag, and so on and so forth until the soldiers hauling the things through the doorway looked as if they'd been tasked with returning the Jolly Green Giant's boxers to Walmart.

At that point they decided the whole thing was absurd. What really matters, after all, is who has the bigger pole.

United Nations Command

Above: A literal pole-measuring contest.

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So, in the decades following the armistice, each side began erecting ever-bigger flagpoles for their ever-bigger flags. When North Korea tipped the scale with a 525-foot, world-record-breaking flagpole to hoist their 600-pound flag in the 1980s, that's when South Korea finally conceded that, you know what, maybe North Korea just wants this one more.

But wait, it gets bigger! When Seoul won the bid for the 1988 Olympics, it was obviously an unspoken challenge for North Korea to one-up their asses. Of course, they couldn't get a better sporting event (it's not like there's an Olympic-er Olympics) ... but they could take Seoul's Olympic Stadium and do it bigger.