MIAMI BEACH, FL—Sparing no expense to celebrate his 14-point win over Newt Gingrich in last night's Florida primary, Mitt Romney hosted a lavish all-night rave at Miami's Club Amnesia Tuesday, packing the popular hot spot with a crowd of more than 2,000 enthusiastic supporters who danced and drank complimentary Cîroc vodka until dawn. "Boy, the Romney campaign really knows how to throw an insane party," said 26-year-old South Beach resident Anthony de Silva, recalling how crazy the crowd went when Romney's old friend Tiësto showed up to spin an impromptu neo-trance set. "At one point—I think it was around four in the morning—I saw Romney himself with a pacifier in his mouth, waving around a pair of glow sticks and shuffling like he was possessed by some kind of demon. I really hope he wins the nomination in August." As of press time Wednesday morning, sources reported seeing the disoriented former Massachusetts governor climbing down from the roof of a lifeguard tower, dressed in only his all-access VIP badge.

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