From Good Housekeeping

No one talks body size in their wedding vows: "For richer and for poorer, through sickness and in health… as long as we both attain and maintain a healthy BMI..." I can just imagine the scowls and side-eyes from guests at the wedding ceremony.

I probably weighed more than 175 pounds when my husband and I first met, and I can say without hesitation that he loved me completely - muffin top and all. I never once had any doubts that he found me beautiful and sexy or suspicions that he was secretly pining for a slimmer lover. Today - 10 years, three pregnancies, and two kids later - my weight is intentionally stable at about 130, and I don't plan to let that change unless circumstances beyond my control make it impossible to do so.

Did I lose that weight for me? Absolutely. Like a lot of people, I just wanted to feel good in my own skin. That said, if you were to ask me whether I lost the weight for my husband, the answer would also be an unequivocal yes.

Maybe that's surprising, given that I was clearly heavier back in our moony-eyed infatuation days. Honestly, I'm grateful to be able to say my husband is the kind of loyal guy who'd love me no matter what I looked like.

But even so, when I made the conscious decision to slim down and tone up, I was still thinking about him - and even as a feminist, I think that's OK for two reasons.

First, our partners in love and in life are supposed to inspire us to be our best selves and to support us on that journey of positive change. I can honestly say that my husband has pushed me to do bigger and better things, things I might not otherwise have attempted. Write a book. Found a startup. Become a tap teacher. Dance competitively.

So why shouldn't being my best self also include being my most fit and beautiful self? Part of the reason I do what I do to improve as a person and as a mom is because I want to be a great wife to my husband. To me, that means doing good, feeling good, and yes, looking good.

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Second, why wouldn't I want to be my sexiest not just for myself, but also for my partner? Both of us have agreed to stay faithful to one another in our marriage so it seems only logical that we should both make an effort to be healthy and to look and feel sexy for ourselves and for one another, now and in the future.

I want to be a great wife to my husband. To me, that means doing good, feeling good, and yes, looking good.

It's not uncommon for men and women to say they want or even deserve a partner who treats them well and makes them feel feminine or manly or capable or brave. Is it really such a stretch to add that you want a partner who is going to turn you on? Is it really terrible to want to be that kind of partner?

In the end, I do realize I'm fighting a losing battle no matter what. People age and bodies change. Short of surgery there's no real way of turning back the clock. And yes, I realize that getting fit or slimming down for a partner is not something everyone can do or even feels driven to do.

For as long as is possible, I just personally want my husband to see and be attracted to the me that's standing in front of him instead of dreaming of some version of me he once knew. I know that he'll love me in sickness and in health, and in thickness or thin, no matter what.

But I'm still going to do what I need to do - including losing weight - to make sure that he wants me, too.