Obviously, not every big decision is as “do or die” as, “Should I open this parachute now, or just continue to plummet and see how it goes?” But it can definitely start to feel that way when you’re choosing a college major, or wrestling with the idea of leaving your terrible job. We can’t even begin to tell you how many times we’ve heard, “I hate my job, but what would I do if I quit?” Or, “I really want to become a _________, but how do I know if I’m good enough? How would I even begin to try to break into that industry?”

When you make those kinds of excuses, you’re letting your fears paralyze you, and when you let your fears paralyze you, you’re no longer actively chasing your goals. It’s simple in theory, but acknowledging, and then facing your fears is incredibly difficult in practice.

Of course, that doesn’t mean that it can’t be done…

II. Make a choice not to live in fear

To a military vet/former cop/skydiving instructor, actor Tony Hale’s profession might seem like child’s play. And honestly? Tony Hale would probably be the first to agree (and to gleefully point out that pun):

“My brother played soccer and I would go to his games, but I was always like, the ‘artist freak.’ I was like, ‘Soccer? Hmm, what do you do with that? Let’s do a monologue to it!’”

Tony Hale, Emmy-winning actor

Even though he’d always had that theatrical side, it took years of him exploring other options — including forays into both writing and waiting tables — before Tony realized he wanted to make acting his career.

He told our road-trippers about his a-ha moment:

“I heard a speaker say, ‘If you’re afraid, you just do it afraid.’ People think that before you do something, you have to be in a place of complete assurance or peace, but sometimes you really do have to just do it afraid.”

He’d finally learned what every single successful person has to learn at some point or another:

Fear and awkwardness and doubt have been with you your whole life, and they’re not going away — they’ll always be there. And if you decide to wait for the universe to drop the perfect opportunity into your lap, you’ll spend a lifetime waiting.

So Tony took action — he enrolled in acting school, then moved to New York City, where he knew no one. Years later, he has two successful sitcoms and two Emmys under his belt, but he still feels the fear:

“[In acting,] you don’t know when your next gig’s coming along. But you have to make a choice not to live in fear.”

III. Do it with fear anyway

Trelise Cooper grew up with a nuanced role model: her mother was sweet and kind, but she was also so fearful that she refused to drive a car. As a result, Trelise adopted fear as a personal mantra. One prominent example: Throughout her childhood, she loved singing opera, but soloing terrified her to the point that she gave up singing altogether, and decided she’d never pursue a career in music.

However, for as much as Trelise insists that she was “afraid of putting herself out there,” she’s certainly made some bold career moves. At age 23, she realized she wanted to go into the fashion industry. Without a stitch of experience, she decided to open a boutique, somewhere where she could champion other designers’ clothing until she’d learned enough to get her own fashion career off the ground. Of course, when it finally came time for her store to open, she got a classic case of cold feet:

“The night before the opening, I was crying and ironing, crying and ironing, thinking, ‘Who did I think I was, to think that I could do this?’”

Trelise Cooper, fashion designer

Her fears were for naught — when she returned to open the store the next morning, there were already lines forming. Turns out Trelise’s natural eye for style was enough to buoy up the shop, and then some. The inventory she’d hoped to turn over in a week was gone by the end of the day, and the stock she’d hoped to turn over in a month was gone by the end of the week. She used that momentum to start her own label, and her designs were later featured on both “Sex and the City” and on the cover of Vogue — she’d made it to the fashion mecca and back again.

And surely, all of that well-earned, whirlwind success must have quelled those initial fears? Much like Ward and Tony, she laughed off the idea:

“You know, I’ve loved it and I’ve hated it — I’ve had all of my insecurities and fears living constantly as my companions. Fear stays with you, but you can let it stop you, or you can do it with fear anyway. It’s not easy, but it’s worth it.”

IV. Take a deep breath and jump

In our curriculum for high-school and middle-school students, we suggest that the best way to combat the fear of being told “no” is by applying or auditioning for something you’re completely unqualified for. Worst-case scenario: you get turned down — it’s exactly the outcome you were expecting, so the letdown is minimal. But the best-case scenario? You get accepted to take part in an incredible opportunity you never thought possible.

We know what you’re thinking: that’s much easier said than done. How do you find the courage to audition for a play with no theater training, or respond to a job posting that insists candidates have five years of relevant experience?