Did you know that over one in two people is a woman? This year, to raise awareness of women, and to mark International Women’s Day, Transport for London (TfL) have helpfully posted pictures of these much-misunderstood creatures. Under the striking photos that bedeck the walls of several tube stations are helpful write-ups. These explain the day-to-day habits of ‘women’, such as ‘This is Mandy, Mandy is a Project Manager.’ TfL are not alone in this initiative, a slew of worthy organisations have been going into schools and local authorities to educate the masses about the existence of ‘women.’

A ‘woman’ who works for Transport for London

One of the main problems facing society today is that no-one can quite agree on what a woman actually is. Arguably, UN Women have some expertise in this area. Their chosen speaker ahead of International Women’s Day, transgender model and activist ‘Aaron Philip’ helpfully explains ‘woman’ thus:

“Every woman is a woman. Women are multifaceted, intergenerational, international. They are limitless, formless … women are the world.” So, there we have it, it seems women are some sort of metaphysical, cosmic ectoplasm.

Aaron Philip (UN Spokes Womxn)

Somewhat surprisingly, this definition is contested. This year a secretive and shadowy group met at Speakers’ Corner to promote their niche and exclusionary definition of ‘womxn.’ Sandwiched in-between a lone campaigner for forced birth, and ‘Justice for Men and Boys’ the group foisted their hateful ideology onto the public without trigger warnings. Babies cried, birds fell from the trees and flowers wilted as the group violently proclaimed that ‘women’ are ‘Adult Human Females.’

The hate group, funded by Mountain Warehouse, men in lizard suits and the Christian right, threaten the very existence of those with whom they disagree. Thankfully, this minority of fringe bigots is limited to those who have an existence outside of social media, so they are easily ignored.

Hateful B’vulva’d Person

To avoid offence it is really important to educate oneself about the correct spelling of this group formerly known as ‘women.’ It is generally agreed by the interns at the Guardian that ‘womxn’ is the inclusive term as the ‘a’ is thought to exclude minority groups, such as Blxck, lesbixn and disxbled femxles.

Next year let’s hope more companies cash-in on international womxn’s day, and let’s hope more amazing be-penised womxn are selected to speak up for womxn everywhere. Up the womxn!