a1. And so, Hachiman Hikigaya’s Winter Break Started

The Christmas had passed by and the short winter vacation finally begun. The year ends on this note. Though in fact I’d been in a festive mood for quite some time already, it’s just it hadn’t been acknowledged due to all the hassle I had to deal with. That mood isn’t just associated with this particular season; there were also my own feelings and emotions thrown into the mix. I was slowly drifting in time, going with the flow, and seemingly turning my back to the things I should meet head on.

Having woken up not long ago, I was lying idly on my bed and staring into the wall. There was a yearly calendar on that wall, all tattered and forgotten, and I wondered if I should resume tearing the leaves off. Dangling sheet marked “December” irritated me with each passing second. Various useless thoughts appeared and vanished in my sleepy head. Like “I gotta get a popular hyper-yoyo and do loop-the-loop”. Strange feeling: like I was loitering in a room with no exit, chatter ring in hand.

Good thing today was the day off. On workdays it’s kinda impossible to think about all those Zen-like questions you can’t even answer properly. My body and mind apparently wanted to confirm it was weekend, constantly drifting into slumber and then waking up. It was almost lunch time, so I decided fully wake up. I shook my head sluggishly and stood up.

Before my eyes lay one hell of a scenery. Yesterday I had started the cleanup in my room but quickly gave up. Piles of the empty MAX COFFEE cans and currently-read books could almost reach the heavens. There were so many things left lying on my desk during the end of the trimester that the avalanche would start at any moment.

I promised myself I would get done with the cleanup today. I started with all those copybooks, printouts, various notes and memos scattered on the desk. Having stumbled upon some old papers with the personal info, I suddenly felt an approachig headache. “Dark Overlord’s Story” was immediately torn to pieces, along with many drafts and something strongly reminding of the Necronomicon. Thus my dark history finally met its end, having been sealed deep in the trash bag. The tattered calendar followed suit. No need for it since the year ends in a couple of day, right?

It was all that hard and complicated because I had very rarely done the New Year desk cleanup. Usually when I need some space on my desk I simply clear a region of a suitable size. It’s said that people with my blood type are tidy; I’d like to disagree. People with my blood type don’t really care about the state of their rooms. Instead they are bothered with others’ rooms’ state. They usually barge into someone’s room and are immediately like “Can I clean here?”. Those blood type B people are so annoying!

Take me for example. I, having the B blood type, not too long ago had had a habit of coming into Komachi’s room and saying “Time to punish the naughtly kids who don’t keep their room in order!”, for which I had been hated a lot. In those old time me and my sister had come into each other’s rooms very often and stole each other’s manga. I wonder why she thought Big Bro’s manga was hers too? For example she was supposed to byt InuYasha volumes herself, but somehow it ended up being my task. That’s the kind of family we are. By the way, about her girls manga magazines like Ciao or Shoujo Comic. These magazines were probably responsible for forming my worldview as somewhat girlish. I often watched the anime for little girls under the pretense of having a little sisted, but somehow it all turned into me watching them alone. Seems like it always happens when you have a little sister. Probably… That’s why roses sometimes bloom in my chest and I become disgusted with myself. Yeah, I’m a moody fellow like that.

Howerever, once Komachi entered middle school, she stopped visiting my room. There were no visitors from there on, my room had been littered with trash ever since. So much that now I need quite some time to clean it up.

But not now. Definitely not now. Things that can be done today can be done tomorrow. I believe in tomorrow! I have faith in the me of tomorrow! That’s why I never postpone anything to tomorrow!

Anyway, the great cleanup of my room will be going on for a long time. I have picked up all the papers and empty MAX COFFEE cans, somehow tidied up the desk; everything else will be dealt with in the near future. I tied up the trash bag and put it near the main entrance, so Pops would take it out on the way to the work. Pops is a true pro of throwing stuff away. Like, he easily had thrown away his pride and decency; he’s a valuable species. Except when sometimes at night I hear him moaning “yes, yes, I’ll think of something” on the phone, I become really upset. Okay, I’ll throw the trash away if I manage to wake up early tomorrow. Poor Pops.

I took away the trash, gathered the pile of books and other stuff into the corner… Huh, was my room always this big?

Well, okay, cleanup part one done. As for when part two starts, I don’t know. Won’t even bother planning. It’s often like this: you plan to do something in the Spring, then you look around and it’s suddenly Autumn already. What happened? Where am I? Is that some kind of a game?

So, quoting the comic Ikeno Tabari “You’re dismissed for now! I exited the room and closed the door.

The living room was quiet. No one there except our beloved cat Kamakura sleeping near the kotatsu. Oh, right, parents were still working and Komachi was at cram school. So it was just me and Kaa-kun. I wonder if it’s too warm because of the kotatsu or am I still sleepy?..

I came to the kitchen and opened the fridge, finding some tamagoyaki, karaageyaki and salad. There also was a whole stock pot of miso soup prepared by mom in the morning. Thanks! I turned the stove on, put the pot and heated it. I then quietly thanked for the food even though no one could hear me. Having returned to the living room, I turned the lone TV set on and got ready to watch the prerecorded anime. Ready? Meanwhile Kamakura approached me and made himself comfortable on my knees. I pet him for some time; he curled up and fell asleep. I was warmed by the cat and kotatsu duo, enjoying the feeling of the stuffed stomach after the late lunch. Overjoyed by watching anime in the morning, I slowly… fell… asleep.

And thus one man and one cat were enjoying the warmth and coziness in the living room. Kotatsu had been turned on for some time, the TV was showing some New Year broadcasts, even though no one watched it. I threw a glance: just the usual New Year shuffle. January decorations, o-sera, and apparently crab and salmon discount sales all the way. Indeed, a true Japanese New Year. I yawned; Kamakura followed suit. The yawning is a contagious thing. Hey, you’ve slept for so long and you’re still sleepy? Oh well, I’m the same anyways. I decided to pet him some more.

Something clicked. Kamakure looked at the door. I saw Mom entering the room rubbing her sleepy eyes.

“Oh, so you were at home?”

She fixed her glasses and sluggishly looked at me.

“Worked until late yesterday, so I took half a day off.”

“Ah.”

Yeah. Working as a corporate slave was hard. On the other hand, if a company allows its employees take half day offs, it’s a good thing. Besides, I had the luxury of lazing around under the kotatsu today because my parents working hard. Thanks, Mom and Dad, props to you both. You probably feel like you’ve lost the [Poor Man card game] “Thanks, thanks”, I mumbled to myself.

Mom meanwhile was preparing for work. Having remembered something she turned to me.

“Sorry, coming back late today, think something about your dinner yourself.”

“Oui.”

I replied in French for some reason. Um, Mom… that was a simple retort, almost like ignoring, so don’t do this. Otherwise Komachi will start doing that too!

“Give me the money then.”

Mom was hesitating for couple seconds, then made a sad sigh and handed me a thousand yen.

“What about Komachi?”

“She made a bento. I prepared some for you too, by the way.”

“Ah. I think I’ve just eaten it. Thanks, it was yummy.”

“Thought so. Boys are always like that...”

Mom mumbled something and prepared to leave. Heh, seems like my mom’s one of those mothers who will feed their grandkids like there’s no tomorrow. Though this probably is true for all the grannies. You know, your grandkids may be young, but their stomach capacity is limited. Though I can feel the whole lot of your love as well. Live long.

I carefully hid the money, still lying beneath the body- and soulwarming kotatsu. I felt someone’s intense stare.

“Hey Big Bro, don’t show up to Komachi like that. Komachi will fail the exams that way.

“Umm… Y-yeah, sure.”

I find it hard to resist when being called “Bro”. Back when I was Komachi’s age and parents scolded me for something, they used not “Hachiman” and not even “you”, but gently said “Big bro”. That conditioned me to be quiet and docile whenever the word is said. Although I used to reply with “Mom, I’m not your big bro”, but I’m too grown-up now to say that.

So I simply agreed. Mom nodded and smiled.

“You can spoil her to your hearts content after the exams.”

“I don’t spoil her, you know.”

What am I, a siscon? Or is that my parents’ admitting of my feelings? Mom made a sad sigh again.

“Right. You’re just like your father in that regard.”

“Oh.”

Please don’t compare me to father, please. I shudder from this comparison.

So we chatted like that for a while; now mom had to leave. I yawned and said goodbye, deciding to go out too. With that thought I slowly crawled out of the kotatsu. It’s not like I decided to listen to maman’s advice-- I just really needed to exercise a bit. That shameful nickname “Hikki” makes me feel like a hikikomori. Princess Cure Hikki even. Yes, that’s what people think of me, but I do get out from time to time. It’s nice at home of course, but roaming around alone isn’t so bad either. You can go wherever you want, after all!

Even if winter break isn’t that long, it’s a very important free time nonetheless. One can use it to find something decent to read or spend the night playing games. So I’ll walk around town, grab something to eat and come back home. Maybe visit a cinema once in a while. I stroke Kamakura the housekeeper one last time and went out in a good mood.

If you want to watch a cinema in Chiba, your main course of action is heading to Chiba station. I once visited the cinema there with Hayama, Orimoto and her friend. I remember one more movie theater around there, but now they only show some arthouse movies there. I didn’t mind going to the station, but I could also watch a movie at Kaihin Makuhari which was way closer to my house. There also was a movie theater in Tsudanuma PARCO, but it was closed now. There was a time, in fact, when the district in Marinpia near Inage Kaigan station used to be filled with them. This makes me sad, really. Well, anyway, Kaihin Makuhari it was. Would have been real fast if I had used the bike, but pressing the pedals in this cold isn’t really fun, so I headed to the bus stop. The bus was warm enough to not to freeze.

I exited the bus. Sea breeze blew right through my coat, so I tied my scarf tightly, hunched and blended into the crowd.

Either a lot of people around me enjoyed the vacation or there was an event somewhere, but the crowd was quite huge. Struggling through the crowd, I went towards the station where the cinema was. It was that same cinema I went to this Summer, together with Totsuka. This place is most probably a holy land now, and I have to build a shrine here in the future.

Upon entering I heard the music from the game center, sound of the arcade machines and kids’ loud voices. I climbed the stairs to the second floor, picked some movie that was starting next and bought the ticket. Apparently it was a popular Hollywood one. A thought crossed my mind to get myself a magic wand and shout “Pyu-Kyu! Go!”. On second thought I’ll scare all the girls’ parents here. I’ll better patiently wait for the Blu-ray. Watching movie in a cinema alone, even to just pass the time, was a luxury. Though, come to think about it, going with someone means sticking to their preferences.

I was wandering around the hall tapping the ticket. I planned to go down to the game center but suddenly spotted a familiar face.

“Oh, Hikki! Yahallo!”

“Hey.”

Long knee-high suede boots and knitted skirt. A patch of bare skin between the boots and skirt was regularly exposed. Seems like the hall was too hot for her, so her beige coat is hung on her hand. Her hair was tied in a bun and waving along with her head movements. Yep, it was Yui Yuigahama calling me. She ran to me, tilted her head and asked:

“What are you doing here?”

“Killing time.”

I was just going to ask what she was doing here, but my answer appeared in the background in the form of girl with a lost expression. Ah, got it.

“Yuigahama-san, the photo isn’t very good. It’s overexposed and our eyes are somehow bigger than needed. I’d like to redo it.”

Yukino Yukinoshita was wearing black 20 den tights[yes, really. 20 den. Hikki, oh you], tight-fitting black leather boots and high-waist pleated dress. Her hair hung freely over her white overcoat, loosely tied at the roots with a pink scrunchie.

She was mumbling something to Yuigahama all the while pointing to a small piece of paper.

“Yukinon, Yukinon! Check it out, it’s HikkI! Hikki!”

“What am I, animal in the zoo?”

“Oh, Hikigaya-kun. Good evening.”

Yukinoshita became slightly flustered, then hid the piece behind her back. They obviously made a photo in a booth together. Even in the age of camera-capable cellphones those booths were still popular.

“So you were in a game center?” I asked. Yuigahama started shuffling in her bad, trying to find something.

“Yeah. We took a photo in a booth there.”

Yukinoshita caught her hand and told her to stop in a very cold tone.

“You have such a… serious look.”

You try to hide it so eagerly that I can’t help but become interested. Yukinoshita has a fair skin and large eyes already, but after such an overexposure it’s going to be something else… I think Yuigahama would agree with me. She’s used to taking photos and isn’t bothered by such things.

“Whaat? We took that photo for nothing? Let’s do it again then!”

“Some other time.” Yukinoshita tiredly replied.

That was an interesting dialogue. Seemed like they became even closer after the Christmas. The meetup of Christmas celebration was seemingly not so long ago, but for them it’s all different, I think. So much stuff happened… As they say, there’s always rainbow after the rain. Even time meaninglessly spent together strengthens the bond. At this rate I will soon wish you to live long until the death does you part.

After we finished discussing the photo, Yukinoshita quickly hid it inside her bag and looked at the piece of paper in my hand.

“Hikigaya-kun, are you planning to watch the movie?”

“Yeah.”

I turned the ticket up for Yukihoshita to see. She read the title, nodded to herself and tilted her head in surprise.

“Strange. I didn’t think you had such tastes. I think more widely discussed titles would suit you better. They are the prime target for mercantile people, who criticize look down on everyone else with contempt.”

“Who do you think I am? Stop it, it’s hard for me to deny that. Besides, I just wanted to kill some time.”

Actually, movie theaters were better for watching good big-budget movie. Even if the plot is bad and the movie doesn’t really have anything good, you still can console yourself with the fact you enjoyed the impressions and you didn’t waste your time. Though even if you pick a mediocre one with bad acting, you still get that well-fed feeling.

“And anyway...”

I stopped, but Yukinoshita ordered me to continue with her look. So I added proudly:

“I watch them first, then stomp into the dirt properly.”

“Stomp, huh...”

Yukinoshita pressed her temples with her fingers as if fighting a headache, then made a tired sigh.

Yuigahama meanwhile noticed the title on the ticket too.

“Hey, how about we go watch this movie!” She said and tugged Yukinoshita’s hand. Yukinoshita looked surprised for a second. Then she smirked and asked jokingly:

“I don’t mind, but what about the shopping?”

“Eh? Oh...”

Yuigahama furrowed her browes and looked at us. Yukinoshita just broadly smiled:

“We can do it later. Or after the movie, if you want.”

“Really?”

Apparently it was Yuigahama who organized today’s entertainment trip. Though her last reply was somehow sad and she generally behaved like a scolded puppy. In contrast to that Yukinoshita’s voice was warm and kind.

“Really.”

Yuigahama gladly smiled, let go of Yukinoshita’s hand and headed to the entrance of the movie theater.

“Then let’s go! The three of us watching a movie together for the first time!” She exclaimed, looking at us. She was right. Time spent in the club was useful too, but we never simply enjoyed ourselves just for run, without requests, never walked around the city and never went to the cinema.

“Right.”

But even if we did have such an opportunity, the one to grab it would be Yuigahama anyway. Yukinoshita, who was walking ahead of me, half-seriously said:

“Except the seats are predefined here, so we’ll be sitting too far from each other.”

“Yeah? O-oh well...”

Yuighama took Yukinoshita’s hand again and stepped on the escalator.

I waited for them to buy the tickets; it was time to start. We went straight to the entrance, handed our tickets’ halves and entered. The auditorium was quiet. I like it like that. As I was looking for my seat, I felt my heart beating faster. A familiar sense of anticipation no matter the movie: be it a known masterpiece or an utter failure. Movies are awesome! Never seen this one, though.

“See you then!” Yuigahama said and moved to her seat. In Yukinoshita’s hand I spotted a popcorn bowl and a cola bottle she bought in advance. Huh, you have quite serious approach to movie watching, Yukinoshita-san.

I headed for my seat in the center of the last row. I could see the auditorium being about 70% full. Even though it’s the end of the year now, it’s still a workday, so there were too many people. But I still looked at the empty seats; it’s a strange habit of mine. I always search for something missing. And even though I know exactly what’s missing I still look for confirmation. Why? I won’t fill that emptiness anyway.

While playing my “spot the missing” game, I stumbled upon two seats. Two people there, two rows in front of me. Even the outlines gave clear picture of who they were. I watched them talk about something and laugh.

Then the auditorium went dark. Some trailed started. But I’m not interested in it at all. I look at those two only. There’s a movie going on for some time already and I still can’t concentrate. Light emitting from screen highlights two shapes two rows in front of me. I just keep watching one hair bun waving back and forth and a flock of long black hair dancing as in in amusement. Seemed like their conversations was way more interesting that the stuff on screen. I got a strainge feeling, like words unsynched with music, even though I didn’t hear anything, only watched them. The more I looked at them, the more I realised there was a certain sort of strange attractiveness.

In the end I had been watching both girls exclusively and didn’t remember the movie at all.

[Russian translation: Oleg Dovgan']