Illegal models terkin' our jerbs!

The Associated Press dropped a whole new November Surprise into the presidential election Friday night by revealing employment contracts and other documents which show Melania Trump worked in the United States on ten modeling jobs while still on a visitor visa that did not allow her to work legally. However, it should be noted that she remained white at all times, so the news is not expected to make any difference to Donald Trump's immigration-obsessed supporters.

The wife of the GOP presidential nominee, who sometimes worked as a model under just her first name, has said through an attorney that she first came to the U.S. from Slovenia on Aug. 27, 1996, on a B1/B2 visitor visa and then obtained an H-1B work visa on Oct. 18, 1996. The documents obtained by the AP show she was paid for 10 modeling assignments between Sept. 10 and Oct. 15, during a time when her visa allowed her generally to be in the U.S. and look for work but not perform paid work in the country. The documents examined by the AP indicate that the modeling assignments would have been outside the bounds of her visa.

Now, before all you liberals start calling her an illegal immigrant, do note that Melanija Knaus was in the country legally -- she was merely working in violation of immigration law, taking some American model's job, no doubt.

The AP's story is based on records from the now-defunct modeling agency Metropolitan International Management, which somehow managed to go belly-up in the late 1990s even without being owed any money by Donald Trump. The documents included "ledgers, other accounting documents and a management agreement signed by Mrs. Trump," and had been in storage since a legal dispute involving the agency's dissolution. The AP notes they were authenticated by a former employee of the agency who "spoke on condition of anonymity because this person feared retaliation and threats from Trump's presidential campaign." Can't imagine why anyone would fear the Trump Online Flying Monkey Brigade.

The AP's story appears to be far more solid than an August Politico story suggesting Ms. Trump had modeled illegally on a tourist visa. Politico's story was mostly based on circumstantial evidence, including statements Melania had made about traveling back to Slovenia to renew her visa, as well as the the assumption that hott girl-on-girl photos republished by the New York Post had to have been taken in 1995, since they were published in a French magazine's January 1996 issue. In reality, it was later determined the pix had appeared in the January 1997 issue, which debunked the idea that Ms. Trump had been worked illegally in 1995. In any case, without a stitch on, it's quite clear Ms. Trump was in fact very Caucasian.

The newly-uncovered documents indicate Ms. Trump worked for clients including the Bergdorf Goodman and Fitness magazine, with gross earnings of $20,056. The agreement includes a handwritten date of August 27, 1996, the day she arrived in the USA, as well as a typed date of September 4, both of which preceded her H-1B visa. However, we must emphasize the documents give no indication Ms. Trump ever had brown skin, so she's good.

The AP asked a former partner of the modeling firm, Paolo Zampoli, to examine the documents, and he confirmed his signature was on the management agreement, which he also said used contract language common for the firm. He also explained the two dates on the agreement: he usually was on vacation in Europe for all of August and would arrange to have contracts formalized after he got back to New York following Labor Day, although in this case Melania Trump signed the the document eight days beforehand. He had previously told the AP he was certain she had a work visa before modeling, but said about the newly-found documents,

he did not recall Mrs. Trump working without legal permission. "Honestly, I don't know. It's like 20 years ago," he said. "The contract looks (like) a real one and the standard one."

Also, it should be noted, Donald Trump has never called for a wall to keep out Slovenian immigrants, so this is really no big. Just a paperwork error. Even if she was technically violating immigration law, everyone knows hot Slovenian models in their 20s were never part of the flood of immigrants Trump and his supporters are worried about.

Who Sent The New York Times Donald Trump's Taxes? We're Gonna Go With 'Marla Maples' Clip and save to refute your idiot Facebook pal who thinks Trump paid property taxes, or real estate taxes, or city and state taxes, or ...

Besides, as the AP story notes, the modeling agency deducted taxes from Melania's modeling fees, so we can at least take comfort that she paid more income tax in the late 1990s than Donald did.

[Associated Press]