ADLER, Russia – The late, great Rodney Dangerfield used to tell a joke about staying in a hotel so cheap, "they stole my towel."

It's a classic, at least until you walk into a "hotel room" here at the Winter Olympics, see it has two beds … and just one pillow … and no light bulbs … and no shower curtain … and cold water only … and a door that can't close … and, well, truth be told, you're just happy there isn't a stray dog curled up in the corner.

One of the great things about the Olympics is how the entire world comes together and immerses itself in the culture and way of life of the host city. This is a global community. It's not supposed to be three weeks of opulence and seven-star hotels – unless you're an IOC official or LeBron James, of course. It's, hey, you're in China, you'll live a little like the Chinese.

[ Photos: Yellow water, open manholes and other Sochi construction highlights ]

Well, old Mother Russia has a treat for everyone.

You want a Soviet snapshot? How about a brilliant testament to soulless central planning, federal inefficiencies, widespread corruption and inexplicable architecture, such as the now famous double toilets?

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This is meant in the best possible way. Seriously, this is something to marvel at, like a life-sized Smithsonian display of a bygone period.

Besides, a lot of the construction here is beyond spectacular and will play exceptionally well on global television broadcasts, which is the point of the entire operation. It stands to reason the competition facilities (which are what matter) will be fine. The Games will go on.

The tourists will just have to deal with it. Hopefully they'll see it as the comedy it is and not as an unfair inconvenience. They have so far. On Tuesday, two days before the 2014 Winter Olympics are set to begin, people stood around and compared war stories, leaning on gallows humor to explain, well, just about everything.

To start, the word hotel means something different here apparently.

On the list of say, hot water, a door capable of closing, a television, light bulbs, clean sheets, a properly hooked up toilet and one pillow per bed, any guest should make like the NBA Finals: take four of seven and pop some champagne. And bring light bulbs, they are so valuable on the black market you can trade one for a date with a Russian tennis player.

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