I wasn’t always vegan. I didn’t always like cooking. I didn’t always have a good enough spell check to allow my written thoughts to be read by others.

Memories of food in my early adult years are difficult to rehash, flashbacks of ramen noodles, frozen chicken patties, and hotdogs. Luckily we had some friends and family that made certain my husband and I were offered the occasional vegetable (usually something really exotic like green beans).

When our family started growing, I tried my hand reluctantly at cooking on occasion. Looking back, it is shocking how often we ate out with our crowd of small children. The internet was not a thing yet, and I honestly, even to this day, have problems being motivated by a recipe without pictures of food, so most of the well meaning wedding cookbook gifts were left with stiff binders on the shelf.

Our family of six moved to beautiful Lancaster Pennsylvania. A bigger kitchen, an abundance of fresh markets and more free time inspired me to give cooking a try. I ordered a subscription of Bon Appetit from the school’s magazine drive and when a picture motivated me I’d give the recipe a try. The results were varied. My family was relatively kind but I suspect the reality was that most meals were marginal at best. There are a few classic meals, my first attempt at Indian cuisine was truly unpalatable. But I was trying, and every so often I would make a meal and Chris would say it should become a staple (like ketchup, salsa, and tabasco). That is the ultimate compliment.

Our family of seven was hit with a rocky culinary patch. Our older home was in need of a major kitchen renovation. For eighteen months, my cooking was confined to a corner of the dining room. I had a sink, refrigerator, microwave, and a crockpot. Thank goodness for the internet. Google “crockpot” and pretty much any type of cuisine can be attempted. It was a nice crockpot and it served us well for those months, but it has been ten years and I still flip past any recipe that calls for a crockpot, so it must not have been that good.

Renovations done! A cook’s dream kitchen was now mine. Six gas burners, two ovens, two micowaves, two dishwashers, two islands, separate sinks, a huge refrigerator, all at my disposal. Luckily for my family my husband saw the problem with this picture. Although my ego took a little hit, I accepted my Christmas gift with “enthusiasm” and headed off to the CIA book camp with a close friend for five days in Hyde Park, New York, sans kids (except Lily, our sixth, who kept uncharacteristically quiet in the womb) ! Going back to culinary basics was exactly what I needed. A few days to learn the lingo and begin learning some proper cooking techniques gave my adventure in feeding my family a jump start. I believe Chris thinks it was the best return on his investment ever.

Years pass. My family of eight is growing and eating “well”. I’ve made the attempt to vary up my proteins (including some plant based) and offer a variety of regional flavors to my family. Vegetables for the vast majority of the meals remain an after thought and a side dish. A few years back I subscribed to a local farm share. I did it only for one season because I didn’t get enough tomatoes and lettuce and way too much swiss chard.

And this is where Emily comes in strong and loud. My oldest has always been assertive (in a good way) so I should not have been surprised that, even from the UK, Emily could make her voice heard. She is methodical and rational and passionate all at the same time. While working in London her interest in eating a vegetarian diet had been ramped up to vegan. She began sharing educational pieces with my husband and me in support of a vegan lifestyle. Everyday our text and email would have another link from Emily. She shared recipes and ideas. Beautiful pictures of vegan food (which is clearly my thing) from all over Europe showed up on her social media (insta @thetwovegans).

I had been raised to believe that animals should be treated well, but that they were here to serve a purpose to us. In theory then, if they were cared for well, and slaughtered humanely, we did nothing wrong. If I raised my own cattle, and had backyard chickens laying eggs for me, then I guess this past belief system would have sustain me. However, like the vast majority of consumers, I was relying on factory farming to do the “right” thing. I was blindly believing that the meat and milk and eggs on my family’s table was coming from farms that were run the way I would have run a farm. The first chink in my belief system…

And so then I envision a world where every farmer does treat their animals humanely, offering them space and time to live their life.

But I can’t do it. I can’t see a world where the needs of future slaughtered animals and consumers’ need for food coexist in any level of symbiosis on a large scale in this world where the numbers look grim even for the sustainability of existing factory farming. Big chink…

Emily started small, “Try meatless Mondays Mom.” So in October 2014 I started. Once weekly I looked at vegetables as something other than the side dish I pulled out of a freezer bag at the last minute. It was a challenge I enjoyed and the results far exceeded my expectations and so by late October, from thousands of miles away, Emily had convinced me to try one month Vegan. It was getting easier so I agreed with only slight resistance from the four remaining kids at home. I spent November balancing meals that “resembled” the meat dishes that the family was missing with plenty of meals that were unique and stood on their own. Just like in the past, I worked to vary my proteins from day to day and offered flavors from around the world. Amazon was busy delivering new cookbooks (all with excellent pictures) and ingredients that were tough to track down in Lancaster. Vegan Essentials offered me the vegan options that I could not find locally. I got to know my local Asian market and the Indian grocery store and I reacquainted myself with Lancaster’s amazing and historic Central Market . Certain Vegan blogs became my early gotos. Vegan Richa and Oh She Glows and Artisan Vegan Life showed me how to stock my pantry and use layers of flavors and reach for the stars when creating a meal around plants.

By December, there was no going back. I packed up all the left over meat in our freezer in a big trash bag and drove up to the Wolf Sanctuary of PA and donated it. It looked like a ton of meat to me but by the reaction of the man who received the donation, he was happy to have me supply that day’s lunch for the wolves.

One year has gone by. People say it gets easier. That is an understatement since it was really never that difficult. The meat was easy to drop from our diet. The eggs and dairy also were hardly missed. The cheese took a bit more time, but for us, weeks, not months. I love our new food varieties. I love going to market and seeing a new vegetable variety or an especially lovely selection of an old standby and creating a meal around it. This week I start receiving my fall farm co op share. Unlike a few years ago, I say “bring on the the swiss chard”! I’m excited (like Christmas morning excited) to see what the first box of farm share holds. I love that my meals are healthy for my family and for the environment.

I know where Emily gets her assertiveness. When Chris wants something he is methodical and rational and passionate all at the same time. Chris is the only one who still uses my childhood nickname as he enthusiastically calls for my attention, “STEFFI!” Because of his persistent “encouragement” I am starting my vegan family blog today, a year after we started this family transition. thanks Chris…