Now that they have performed their last public duties as royals, how long will Harry and Meghan last in the characterless backwater that is North Saanich, Vancouver Island?

In their previous life, they could walk the banks of the Thames, enjoy the run of Windsor Great Park, hang out with the Clooneys up the road in Sonning. Yoga, Wholefoods, designer clothing outlets were all close by.

In suburban Canada, what are their lifestyle options? Their new home is handily situated for the local airport, a couple of motels and coffee shops.

The main activities are dog walking, hiking in the local parks, fishing and visiting botanical gardens.

It sounds the perfect place for a couple of pensioners, or retired bankers who want to take up watercolouring - hardly the base you'd expect for one of the world's most glamorous couples.

Neighbours include the actor Ryan Reynolds, and five times married 70-year-old music producer David Foster.

That's about it. Vancouver Island is where posh Canadians go to live the 'simple' life. For simple, please substitute 'boring'.

Meghan Markle is pictured walking her two dogs with baby Archie in her arms on Vancouver Island, Canada

This relatively young couple seem anxious to escape the restrictions of the UK monarchy, the snobbishness and small mindedness of some Brits - so picking somewhere far away - underpopulated Vancouver Island, with fir trees in every direction, freezing winters and a brief six week summer - might seem understandable.

But in reality it's just plain weird. Instead of Lake Como, they've got a rocky beach, with grey skies overhead. Instead of Venice Beach, Los Angeles, there's the local steak house.

It's not as if they've escaped the paparazzi - walking in a local park with Archie, Meghan was furious to discover a photographer snapping away with a long lens, hidden under a tree.

Canada might have stricter privacy laws, but this couple will always be the subject of media attention, and to think otherwise is naïve.

Perversely, Harry and Meghan have turned their back on celebrity hangouts (which come with well organised security) where pals like Serena Williams live - California or Florida, for example - and rented a mansion on the waterfront of South Vancouver Island built in a bland international style. It could be on Lake Michigan, Lake Ontario, or in Chicago.

From cute Frogmore Cottage with Windsor Castle down the road, ensuring access to a private chapel and millions of pounds worth of art, to this?

Prince Harry is pictured with baby Archie during his and Meghan's six-week Christmas break on Vancouver Island last year

Their rented house certainly has pretentions to grandeur - 10,000 square feet of space, with a large guest house and 8 bedrooms, it features an imported 17th century fireplace, a games room, and a wine tasting cellar- sounding more suitable for the Beckham squad than Harry and his healthy-living wife and baby Archie.

Perhaps growing up in a series of stately homes with servants around every corner might pall after a while (it wouldn't for me) but Harry and Meghan have opted for a lifestyle I can only describe as 'international first class departure lounge'.

Have we Brits really upset the Duke and Duchess of Sussex so much they prefer the hum drum existence of downtown Victoria, with it's limited choice of fine dining and trendy cafes?

They've turned their backs on the sarky humour of the Brits for the gush of clean-living middle class Canadians.

This is a country where the press don't like to talk about politician's affairs in case it deters people from standing for public office!

If Canada is so fabulous, how come so many famous Canadians live elsewhere?

The couple stayed in this $18million property on Vancouver Island, British Columbia

Bryan Adams lives in Chelsea, Ryan Gosling in Hollywood, and Celine Dion is either on the front row of a fashion show on Paris or singing in Las Vegas.

My good friend is a Canadian film producer who admits that his countrymen's main drawback is an unfailing capacity to be nice, so nice in fact, you want to scream.

He's chosen to live in London, where people are edgy, sometimes rude, and there's new art galleries, funky cafes and great theatre to stimulate and engage you.

To spend six weeks (as the Sussex pair did over the Christmas holidays) on Vancouver Island surrounded by trees and a big television might be a novel experience.

But would you opt to put down permanent roots in a country where satire is non existent? Where there's no Have I got News for You or Frankie Boyle?

Meghan certainly enjoyed living in Toronto for seven years, but during that time she was constantly working on Suits and tended to hang out with her workmates.

Toronto is hardly London, but it's the centre of the civilised world compared to Vancouver or Victoria. It's not as if the empty wide spaces of Canada produce clean-living youth.

The average age they start drinking is 13 and there's a huge alcohol problem - maybe it's the lack of things to do.

They will still keep their Frogmore Cottage home in Windsor, but will start paying commercial rent

I married a Canadian with family in Vancouver. To cope with my difficult mother-in-law, we spent our time fishing, sailing and staying in a log cabin on Gabriola Island.

Never again. After you've spent fourteen days walking up and down trails looking at nothing but pine trees, caught more fish than you can ever eat, and bought a sweater with a whale knitted on it, what else is there to do?

Pooing in a composting toilet has scarred me for life - but I don't imagine that's something Harry and Meghan will be experiencing, no matter how keen they might be to establish their eco-credentials.

How can this stylish couple opt for somewhere as unstylish and dreary as Canada?

What cuisine has Canada given the world - apart from Maple syrup, bacon and a disgusting dish called Poutine, which consists of cheese curds, chips and brown sauce.

Smiley Canadians also seem to have a secret chip on their shoulder, anxious that their country should be seen as equal to (if not better than) anywhere else in the world- particularly the UK and the USA.

Some Canadian newspapers have stated that the ex-royal couple can't get too grand, because that would 'impinge on Canadian Monarchy' – I think they mean that Canada doesn't want anyone Royal upstaging their Prime Minister - yes, Justin Trudeau the man notorious for his inappropriate fancy dress and who blacked up not once, but at least three times during his college years.

Harry and Meghan, it's not too late to come back home.