BOMBSHELL! BREAKING NEWS!! LISTEN TO THIS!!!

The Charlotte Independence are signing Randy Moss to play as center forward in 2017.

Following in the footsteps of Chad Ochocinco before him, the former NFL wide receiver/legend should bring speed and scoring prowess to the Independence attack. TOUCHDOWWWWWWWWWN…

Wait, what? No, hold on. No.

Here’s all we know (as of Thursday night, like we said, there’s an update), which is clearly not anything of substance…

First, Randy Moss lives in Charlotte and has been an active member of the athletic community.

Then on Thursday night, Independence staff member Wade Leaphart tweeted this mysterious tweet… screen-shotted because, well, just in case.

And earlier in the day, this mysterious photo came up on the Charlotte Independence Instagram account…

CLEARLY THEY MUST BE CONNECTED AND RANDY MOSS WILL PLAY IN USL ON SATURDAY NIGHT.

Well, it’s an idea. If you’ll remember, Chad Ochocinco, another former wide receiver, made an effort to join Sporting Kansas City just a few years ago, so it isn’t out of the realm of possibility…

… but it’d surely be a shock to everyone… and I mean everyone... except for maybe our Chris Davis, who put the pieces together first.

If you can’t have fun with sports rumors, you’re not a fun person. And apparently someone is being signed and announced tomorrow, so…

Here’s hoping the Super Freak is as good with his feet as he was with his hands, and that the Independence win the Super Bowl and the World Cup in 2017. #COYJ.

(Update: We nailed it. Investigative journalism at its finest…... And he’s a goalie? Wasted speed IMO, but at 40, guess it makes some sense... haha. Good on the Independence for having some fun in their buildup to the season opener.)

(Update again: Read the first letter of each sentence in this. So good. Happy early #aprilfools y’all.)