

NAGPUR: The feminist movement may have started with the aim of promoting equality between genders. However, in the process of eliminating patriarchy, the society has become more inclined towards the belief that women's position has to be above men, believe the men's rights activists in the country.

In popular perception, phrases like 'be a man', 'take it like a man' and 'don't cry like a girl' promote traditional gender identities or roles, and so sexism. Activists also believe that all gender issues are seen from a 'He for She' prism that puts much pressure on men and no responsibility on women.

"We need to free both men and women from rigid patriarchal structures and traditional gender roles. Sexism and moral policing against men has increased in recent times but has mostly gone unnoticed. When both feminists and men's rights activists want gender equality, where is the problem," asked founder of NGO Save India Family Foundation Anil Kumar. He answered his own question by saying the compromised stand feminist had didn't let them bother if men experienced sexism or got stifled inside rigid patriarchal expectations.

Kumar Jahgirdar, national president of NGO Child Rights Initiative for Shared Parenting ( CRISP ), said, "The contributions and sacrifices men make for their family are generally taken for granted and trivialized. After all, it is supposed to be the duty of a man to be the bread winner and provider. Such mindset belittles men's contributions. In addition, the promotion of women's welfare and rights has led to a negative side-effect where intentional neglect of men's welfare is seen as a step towards promoting women's issues." He stressed that the correction of one historical wrong should not lead to another wrong as that could only lead to further societal imbalance.

CRISP has even prepared a list of demands with the idea of promoting men's rights in Indian society. Freeing women from traditional gender roles was only one part of the game, which would achieve nothing, if attempts were not made to free men as well from traditional roles and social expectations, said SIFF president Rajesh Vakharia. "Many men have come to me asking why they are not given enough access to their children or shared parenting during separation, while they changed the diapers and spent enough time nurturing their kids. They wonder why no one questions the moral and legal obligation of a man to pay maintenance and alimony to a working wife during separation," he said.

He added there was an ongoing struggle between men who intended to free both genders from traditional barriers and the old fashioned chivalrous men, who wished to rollback to 1960s while pampering women and beating the drums of women's empowerment.

HOW INDIAN MEN ARE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST

Till today, no study has been done by the government on domestic and social life of men, suicides among married men and men's issues in general

Married men are victims of gender biased laws and suffer false dowry, domestic violence, rape cases. Men lack social acceptance and society looks at them as perpetrators, even before they are proven guilty

Gender neutral laws like shared parenting, inclusion of men in laws regarding sexual harassment at workplaces, giving adequate paternity leaves, etc are required to be made

Though men pay more than 82% of income tax has not bothered to address their problems

There is no dedicated ministry for men's welfare or a commission in line with National Commission of Women when there are dedicated ministries for even animals and forests

Take steps to boost life expectancy of men and create awareness for diseases like prostate cancer, heart attacks, hypertension etc which are predominant in men

