There are only three kinds of parents in the world: good ones, bad ones and ones who put their kids on leashes. Usually, the bad ones are far too busy hitting the crack pipe to mess with the edification and development of their progeny. Not in these cases. Below are six ways well-meaning people can nearly kill their children, without even the benefit of a little bump of meth.

6 Suspended Baby Cages

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We know what you're thinking: it's just a playpen with a lid, and what's so horrific about that? Even the best mother can't hover over a toddling baby 24/7, so putting a baby in a safe place, even if it kind of looks like a cage, at least keeps him away from the machete drawer.

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Or the happy magic juice.

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It's at this point that we should probably clarify what we're talking about here. It's not that the contraption was merely a cage, even though we do want to go on the record as being anti-putting-babies-in-wire-cages. It's that this particular cage was not on the ground. It was suspended out of a window, like so:

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The only time your child will be in danger of low-flying aircraft.

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Have you ever looked up at an AC unit precariously perched on the edge of a fourth-story window and wondered if that thing would work as a baby holder? No? Huh.

In the 1930s, London mothers had a problem. Unlike country babies, city babies didn't have acres of rambling estates to crawl around. Fortunately, some idiot in America patented the perfect solution for air-starved infants -- a baby kennel that hung out the window. Mini-humans with a hankerin' for fresh air could just crawl right out the window into their totally safe cages.