Arm your friends, arm your lovers, arm your aunts, arm your mother, arm your dad and brothers and uncles and aunts, arm your sons and daughters, arm your cousins and in-laws and Facebook friends and every damn person you’ve ever met and keep them armed at all times, for they are the good guys with guns who will fend off the bad guys with guns, and don’t you talk for a minute — not a minute — about gun laws because it’s too soon and you’re politicizing a tragedy and no, no, no, no, no, no, no you mustn’t infringe on any American’s freedom to own and bear and fire and fetishize firearms even if it keeps costing life after life after life in places where young human beings should feel safe.