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It presumes one racial makeup is better than another.



“It does bother me, not because of any pressure to have children, but because of all the implications of saying biracial children are the most beautiful. My husband is a biracial Black man, and I am white. On a weekly basis, we are told that we ‘will have the most beautiful children.’ I should clarify that I only ever get these comments from other white folks. Usually, I can see that they intend these remarks to be compliments. Their tone and emphasis suggest they are trying to let me know that they aren't racist, but I don't think they are aware of all the beliefs underlying those statements. To be blunt, it seems that they think biracial babies are the best because they are exotic without being too exotic. Their hair is a mass of curls without being coarse. (‘They have the best curls, defined and soft.’) Their skin has color without being ‘too dark.’ (‘It's the perfect shade, like a beautiful latte.’) This deeply bothers me, because these comments invalidate the beauty of my dark-skinned friends and family. These comments establish a beauty ranking based on race, which is not just ignorant but extremely harmful. They are comments which result from a long history of racist thinking and practice, which is not acknowledged. Furthermore, I don't want my future children to grow up feeling superior to the darker-skinned kids around them, because they have ‘good skin’ or ‘good hair,’ according to these racist standards of beauty. I don't need anyone to validate our interracial relationship or our future children, no matter how positive their intentions. I married the man I love. Our children will be beautiful. So will theirs.”



-Katie, 25



“My mother tends to pressure my wife, almost begging her to have kids, because she wants her ‘light-skinned grandbabies’ as soon as possible”.



-Jerome, 28.



“When some people find out my child is half white, 1/4 Korean, and 1/4 black, they get all excited for me and say, ‘Oh wow, he must be gorgeous! What an amazing gene pool.’ I once had someone specifically list the physical characteristics of each race that they liked (and didn't like — it was so incredibly racist), and then they proceeded to tell me that my child was lucky because he would have the good traits that they liked. It’s kind of a double-edged sword. What if he was just white? Would he not be as amazing? Do they think I somehow helped develop a super race?”



-Virginia, 33