So personal life issues have made it a bit difficult for me to get back into Steven MomSwapVerse.

Still, you guys are counting on me, so here goes.

Episode 17: “Bear Goes To The Movies.”

After the events of the previous episode, it’s not surprising that we might start off this one with Steven feeling a bit bummed out. Thankfully, Connie is on-hand to cheer him up with a trailer for one of the most ridiculous movie concepts I’ve ever heard of: “DogCopter.”

So that’s the premise of the episode: Steven and Connie want to go to see the newest DogCopter movie. Seems simple, right? Well, it seems that things aren’t nearly that easy. First of all, the movie is playing on the other side of town… and the Gems don’t exactly own cars.

Steven’s solution is to hitch a ride on Bear’s back.

We get a bit of a hilarious reaction shot from Connie as she, very understandably, reacts with shock to find out that Steven Universe does, in fact, have a pet bear, who is bearly (hyuk hyuk) trained, as evidenced when instead of taking them to town, he instead carries them across the ocean and through a portal and into…

… well. It’s obviously some kind of Gem Structure, but Steven doesn’t know what it is. We viewers, with the benefit of hindsight, can recognize this as Citrine’s secret inner sanctum. But what I really love about it is how it shows off a very different side of Citrine that’s at odds with how she’s been characterized.

The Gems regard Steven’s mother with respect, yes, even admiration, but also with fear. They keep her portrait above the doorway, yes, but it’s almost like those portraits of totalitarian dictators you see hanging in their offices: very regal, very formal, very stern.

Compared to that, though, Citrine’s sanctum is… different. I don’t think that anyone would have imagined that Steven’s cold-eyed mother would have daffodils and buttercups growing in a grassy glade. Or that there would be a small waterfall and a stream running through it.

But then there are the gates around the edges of the glade. I’m sure you noticed that three of them had a diamond at its apex: blue, white, and yellow. But a lot of viewers didn’t notice that both the blue and white gates were dark, while the yellow gate was still illuminated.

Even more interesting is the fourth gate, which is broken. Freeze-Frame it shortly after Connie stumbles over the log and you’ll see the broken-off piece of the arch just behind her shoulder. The diamond on that arch, by the way, is pink.

Remember that for later.

Anyway, Steven and Connie manage to find a bunch of stuff inside the sanctum, including a bunch of weaponry, a bunch of armor, and (for some goddamn reason), a reference to the Lost City of Kandor from Superman.

They also happen to activate a gigantic floating head that spits fire. Because that’s the sort of thing that happens in Steven MomSwapVerse.

Now, I know this isn’t a shipping blog, and it’s all supposed to be about plot and foreshadowing, but can I say that I just love the scene that takes place when Steven and Connie escape to the movie theatre? For the first time, we get Connie’s point of view about how inadequate she feels next to Steven’s magical adventures, but we also get the first hints of the burden that Steven’s magical destiny puts on him. The way he puts it:

Steven: “Because Dogcopter is awesome! He’s a dog, and a cop, and a helicopter! He shoots missiles out of his butt and he’s going to save the world… and he makes it look easy! At the end of the movie, everything’s okay… and that’s something I–”

Whatever Steven was about to say next gets lost in a giant blast of fire as the floating head floats through the portal. And, of course, Connie’s tennis skills end up saving the world, because that’s how things go.

We end up with the three of them in a movie theatre watching the movie. Iris out. End of episode.

Episode 18: Beach Party Steven

We begin this episode with a bang: namely, Steven and the Gems fighting off a giant pufferfish monster. Unfortunately, this monster’s wind powers seem to be giving everyone trouble: Peridot gets blasted off-course while using The Infamous Pericopter, and Jasper gets smashed into the distance after attempting to take it out with a Sonic Spindash. The battle finally ends with a frustrated Lapis Lazuli homerun-batting the thing into the horizon with a giant baseball bat made of water.

Side note: did you notice, during this scene, how Lapis is favoring her artificial arm? And note how she’s generally seen rubbing the joint where the prosthesis meets her elbow. Just a bit of attention to detail I thought was really interesting.

Anyway, Peridot frustratedly mutters that Lapis’s stunt is just delaying the inevitable: the Pufferfish will be back soon. Lapis points out that she at least bought them some time to come up with a better plan, and the two are about to start bickering when some yelling from nearby gets their attention.

As it turns out, Jasper has smashed straight through the roof of Fish Stew Pizza, and Kofi (the owner), is ranting. Continuing a theme that began in the first episode, the Gems don’t really get human concerns and leap away just as the entire family comes out to see what the ruckus is about.

Kofi bans the gems from ever setting foot in his restaurant again. Steven seems hurt by the whole thing, and heads back to the temple to talk to the Gems… Which leads to one of the cruelest scenes in the entire show.

Steven: “But if they could only spend some time with you, they might see how smart, and nice, and strong you are! I know! I’ll throw a party on the beach in front of the temple! Just us and the Pizzas!” Jasper: “Don’t wanna.” Peridot: “Too busy.” Lapis: “That’s okay, Steven! I’ll come–” Jasper: “No, you won’t. You need to search the ocean and find out where the Pufferfish went.” Lapis: “What? Why!?” Peridot: “Because you’re the one who recklessly hit that thing out to sea, remember?” Lapis: “Well, maybe if you two hadn’t screwed up the entire mission, I wouldn’t have HAD to hit that thing out to sea!”

And, of course, the Gems descend into their usual bickering… except this time, we see Steven’s expression turn from giddy happiness… to annoyance… to anger… and then, finally (with a loud scream of “STOP FIGHTING!!”) blind rage. An out-of-control Sunlight Barrier explodes out all of the windows in the house… and we cut to the stunned Gems staring at Steven.

Who walks out of the temple house and sits down on the beach, staring into the ocean.

Surprisingly, it’s Jasper who comes out first, sitting down next to him and putting her hand on his shoulder.

Jasper: “Steven? I’m sorry. We can have that party if you wan–” Steven: “It’s not that…” Jasper: “Then what is it?” Steven: “… are we the good guys?” Jasper: “… what?” Steven: “We’re supposed to be the good guys, right? But we keep acting like the bad guys! None of you get along… you fight over the silliest things… and you’re always keeping secrets from everyone! It’s like you don’t care about anyone except yourselves… almost like you’re all… really mean…”

Jasper has no response to that, and Steven goes to bed.

When I first heard that dialogue, I literally gasped. Because that line had summed up something that had been niggling at the back of my mind about this show. Jasper, Peridot, and Lapis don’t act like heroes… they act like the bickering minions of some cartoon supervillain.

Because that’s exactly what they are.

Suddenly, a lot of things start to make sense: why is so much of the world destroyed and lifeless? Why do the Gems talk about Steven’s mother with such fearful respect? Why are they always bickering and infighting? It’s because they’re the bad guys… or they used to be.

Steven, it seems, is changing things.

The rest of the episode is almost a bit of a disappointment. I mean, it is heartwarming when Steven wakes up the next morning to find that the Gems have invited Kofi and the Pizzas to come to the beach for that party. It is kinda hilarious that the Gems’ utter lack of human dietary needs turns the barbecue into a disaster, and the less said about that game of volleyball, the better. And yes, the pervert contingent probably appreciated the Gems’ beach outfits too.

But the end of the episode takes a stance that’s a bit too… simple… considering what the first half of the episode was about. It’s nice to see the Gems and the humans work together to take out the Pufferfish, but it’s another standard fight scene that we’ve come to expect from this show. I would have liked to see a more subtle, nuanced take from the subject matter.

But then again, Steven MomSwapVerse is, in the end, a children’s show with 11 minute long episodes. So there are going to be moments where the plot suffers because of those constraints.

Next time: Steven ends up in a stereotypical episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation… and we get a bit more insight into the mysterious relationship between Jasper and Fusion.

- Q.Note