ERROL PARKER | Editor-at-large | Contact

It’s often screamed from the rooftops around the world – Corona is the beer from where you’d rather be.

However, according to a Betoota Grove man, he’d rather be anywhere but where Corona is from.

Speaking exclusively to The Advocate this Thursday afternoon, Bill Woxford, a local 24-year-old full-time stay-at-home-son, painted a grim picture of what unfolded when he told his mother that he ‘didn’t care’ what beer she bought when she rang to ask earlier today.

“We’re having family over on Saturday which means Mum does the shop on Thursday for the specials, you see,” he said.

“Not saying that we’re poor, I’m saying that Mum just loves a bargain. Anyway, she rang up around 3 this afternoon and woke me up to ask which beer she should buy. I told her I didn’t care. Turns out that was a lie.”

Shortly after young Bill hung up abruptly on his homemaker mother, Wanda Woxford, sighed and wondered what she and her emotionally-vacant husband did to deserve such a layabout, man-boobed son.

But the unpredictable Cancerian didn’t dwell on it, she just tack rolled the shopping trolley into BWS and loaded her up with sickly, imported beer.

“I can’t believe she’s done it again. The beer in the fridge is always Betoota Marathon Mid or Bitter. Not this crap. God! I should’ve gone with her.”

Our reporter spoke to Wanda shortly after she finished bringing the groceries in, by herself.

She outlined that while she doesn’t mind doing absolutely everything around the house, it would be nice if ‘people’ showed an interest in ‘perhaps’ helping her from time to time.

“I know he doesn’t like Coronas. He told me last time. But if he’s going to just lay about on the couch and steal my cigarettes then fuck him. He’s getting Coronas,”

“They were on special, anyway. Two for $90. Can’t walk past that.”

More to come.